1 00:00:00,680 --> 00:00:02,960 (PIANO PLAYING CHRISTMAS SONG) 2 00:00:16,960 --> 00:00:19,000 (INDISTINCT CONVERSATIONS) 3 00:00:27,360 --> 00:00:30,160 Ho-ho-ho! Merry Christmas! 4 00:00:30,200 --> 00:00:31,400 Hey, guys. 5 00:00:51,720 --> 00:00:53,080 Merry Christmas. Thanks. 6 00:00:53,160 --> 00:00:54,240 Hey! (MUSIC ENDS) 7 00:00:54,320 --> 00:00:57,400 MR. WHITTLE: Ladies and gentlemen, can I have your attention? 8 00:00:57,440 --> 00:00:59,120 This has been our best year ever 9 00:00:59,240 --> 00:01:01,040 thanks to Do-It-All-For-You-Dolly. 10 00:01:01,240 --> 00:01:02,600 (GUESTS CHEERING) 11 00:01:02,680 --> 00:01:06,000 And I think we should give a special thanks to the people 12 00:01:06,080 --> 00:01:08,800 responsible for our record-breaking sales, 13 00:01:08,880 --> 00:01:12,520 our Midwest marketing and distribution team, 14 00:01:12,560 --> 00:01:15,240 Scott Calvin and Susan Perry! MAN: Yeah! 15 00:01:15,280 --> 00:01:16,960 (ALL CHEERING) 16 00:01:17,040 --> 00:01:19,160 Let's hear it for 'em! Come on! 17 00:01:19,760 --> 00:01:23,200 Susan, darling, come on up here. Aren't they adorable? 18 00:01:23,240 --> 00:01:25,080 Say a few words. 19 00:01:25,880 --> 00:01:28,680 Thank you very much. This was really a team effort. 20 00:01:28,760 --> 00:01:31,440 I would just want to thank every one of you individually... 21 00:01:31,480 --> 00:01:33,080 But we don't have time for that, do we? 22 00:01:33,120 --> 00:01:34,240 (ALL LAUGHING) 23 00:01:34,320 --> 00:01:36,800 In all seriousness, here at B&R Toys, 24 00:01:36,880 --> 00:01:40,160 we're not just about making a profit in quality toys. 25 00:01:40,240 --> 00:01:42,640 We're also about families. 26 00:01:42,720 --> 00:01:45,120 But our families aren't here with us right now. 27 00:01:45,200 --> 00:01:47,760 Which is probably why Johnson's secretary is sitting in his lap. 28 00:01:47,920 --> 00:01:51,600 (CHUCKLING) You guys have a great party. Have a great year. 29 00:01:51,680 --> 00:01:53,960 Drive safe. Thanks very much. 30 00:01:54,000 --> 00:01:55,600 (ALL APPLAUDING) 31 00:01:56,800 --> 00:01:59,160 Aren't they wonderful? 32 00:02:01,400 --> 00:02:02,520 (ANSWERING MACHINE BEEPS) 33 00:02:02,640 --> 00:02:04,640 SCOTT: Laura, I was hoping to catch you before you'd left your house. 34 00:02:04,680 --> 00:02:08,880 I ran real late today. You wouldn't believe the traffic out here. 35 00:02:09,120 --> 00:02:10,160 (HORN HONKING) 36 00:02:10,240 --> 00:02:11,280 Yeah, same to you! 37 00:02:11,560 --> 00:02:14,240 And that's not very ladylike! 38 00:02:14,320 --> 00:02:17,120 (CHUCKLES) Anyway, I'll try to get to my house as soon as I can. 39 00:02:17,160 --> 00:02:18,880 Oh. There's the problem right there. 40 00:02:18,960 --> 00:02:22,320 Three car pileup. I'm really gonna be late. 41 00:02:22,400 --> 00:02:24,480 (SINGING) Hark, carol bells, sweet silver bells 42 00:02:24,560 --> 00:02:26,680 ♪ All seem to sing, throw cares away 43 00:02:26,760 --> 00:02:28,840 ♪ Christmas is here bringing good cheer 44 00:02:28,960 --> 00:02:30,960 ♪ To young and old, meek and the bold 45 00:02:31,000 --> 00:02:33,080 ♪ Ding dong and dong, balance in song 46 00:02:33,160 --> 00:02:35,120 ♪ Ring joyful ring, all caroling 47 00:02:35,160 --> 00:02:37,120 ♪ One seems to hear Words of good cheer 48 00:02:37,160 --> 00:02:39,280 ♪ From everywhere, filling the air 49 00:02:39,360 --> 00:02:41,320 ♪ Oh, how they pound, raising the sound 50 00:02:41,360 --> 00:02:43,440 ♪ Go hand in hand, calling in the town 51 00:02:43,480 --> 00:02:45,400 ♪ Gaily they ring while people sing 52 00:02:45,480 --> 00:02:47,600 ♪ Songs of good cheer Christmas is here 53 00:02:47,680 --> 00:02:49,680 ♪ Merry, merry, merry, merry Christmas 54 00:02:49,760 --> 00:02:51,720 ♪ Merry, merry, merry, merry Christmas 55 00:02:51,800 --> 00:02:53,720 ♪ On we will sing, dawn with a hymn 56 00:02:53,800 --> 00:02:55,880 ♪ Angel will come to every home 57 00:02:55,960 --> 00:02:57,880 ♪ Hark, carol bells, sweet silver bells 58 00:02:57,960 --> 00:02:59,920 ♪ All seem to sing, throw cares away 59 00:03:00,000 --> 00:03:01,840 ♪ Hark, carol bells, sweet silver bells 60 00:03:01,920 --> 00:03:04,000 ♪ One seems to hear Words of good cheer 61 00:03:04,080 --> 00:03:05,880 ♪ From everywhere, filling the air 62 00:03:05,960 --> 00:03:08,120 ♪ Oh, how they pound, raising the sound 63 00:03:08,200 --> 00:03:10,200 ♪ Go hand in hand, calling in the town 64 00:03:10,240 --> 00:03:12,120 ♪ Gaily they ring while people sing 65 00:03:12,200 --> 00:03:13,960 ♪ Songs of good cheer Christmas is here 66 00:03:14,040 --> 00:03:16,240 ♪ Merry, merry, merry, merry Christmas 67 00:03:16,320 --> 00:03:18,320 ♪ Merry, merry, merry, merry Christmas 68 00:03:18,360 --> 00:03:20,200 ♪ On we will sing, dawn with a hymn 69 00:03:20,240 --> 00:03:22,280 ♪ Angel will come to every home 70 00:03:22,360 --> 00:03:24,560 ♪ On we will sing, dawn with a hymn 71 00:03:24,640 --> 00:03:27,640 ♪ Angel will come to every home 72 00:03:29,200 --> 00:03:32,520 ♪ Ding dong ding 73 00:03:32,560 --> 00:03:34,040 ♪ Dong ♪ 74 00:03:39,200 --> 00:03:40,640 (SIGHS) 75 00:03:41,280 --> 00:03:43,440 LAURA: All right, let's go. 76 00:03:43,520 --> 00:03:44,800 Bye, Charlie. 77 00:03:44,920 --> 00:03:46,280 CHARLIE: Bye, Neal. 78 00:03:50,080 --> 00:03:52,320 Oh! Sorry I'm late. Hi. 79 00:03:52,400 --> 00:03:53,400 Hi. 80 00:03:53,480 --> 00:03:54,720 Did you want to come in for a minute? 81 00:03:54,760 --> 00:03:56,000 Neal's waiting in the car, so... 82 00:03:56,080 --> 00:03:57,160 Why doesn't he come in? 83 00:03:57,240 --> 00:03:58,600 'Cause, Daddy, he says you'll just 84 00:03:58,680 --> 00:04:00,160 end up saying something snotty. 85 00:04:00,240 --> 00:04:01,880 Not necessarily. 86 00:04:01,920 --> 00:04:04,080 Could be rude or sarcastic. Whatever it takes. 87 00:04:04,160 --> 00:04:05,360 See? I gotta go. 88 00:04:05,400 --> 00:04:08,560 Come on, come on. Christmas Eve. Just a minute. 89 00:04:11,240 --> 00:04:13,680 Watch those steps. They're real slippery. 90 00:04:13,760 --> 00:04:14,800 (LAURA GRUNTS) 91 00:04:14,880 --> 00:04:16,200 SCOTT: Told ya. 92 00:04:22,000 --> 00:04:23,000 So... 93 00:04:23,080 --> 00:04:24,080 Well... 94 00:04:25,240 --> 00:04:26,360 (LAURA CLEARS THROAT) 95 00:04:26,440 --> 00:04:27,440 SCOTT: You going to your mom's for dinner? 96 00:04:27,680 --> 00:04:29,480 Actually, we're gonna be with Neal's family. 97 00:04:29,560 --> 00:04:31,240 Ah! Christmas at the pound. 98 00:04:31,280 --> 00:04:32,320 (IMITATING DOG HOWLING) 99 00:04:32,400 --> 00:04:33,400 (IMITATING CAT HISSING) 100 00:04:33,440 --> 00:04:34,480 (IMITATING CAT MEOWING) 101 00:04:34,560 --> 00:04:36,680 There aren't that many presents over there. 102 00:04:36,760 --> 00:04:38,920 That's because Santa isn't here yet. 103 00:04:38,960 --> 00:04:41,120 Neal doesn't believe in Santa. 104 00:04:41,280 --> 00:04:42,680 Well, Neal's head comes to a point. 105 00:04:42,800 --> 00:04:43,800 (CAR HORN HONKING) 106 00:04:43,880 --> 00:04:45,320 He's smart. He's a doctor. 107 00:04:45,400 --> 00:04:47,280 He's not a doctor, he's a psychiatrist. 108 00:04:47,680 --> 00:04:49,800 Take your coat off. You're sticking around, aren't ya? 109 00:04:50,040 --> 00:04:51,200 (CONTINUES HONKING) 110 00:04:52,400 --> 00:04:53,960 I'll be right there. Just a sec. 111 00:04:56,240 --> 00:04:57,840 I just want to... Did that jerk tell Charlie 112 00:04:57,920 --> 00:04:59,680 there was no Santa Claus? 113 00:04:59,760 --> 00:05:02,400 What? No. Oh, Charlie came home 114 00:05:02,480 --> 00:05:04,640 from school the other day in tears 115 00:05:04,720 --> 00:05:08,360 because some big kid told him there was no such thing as Santa. 116 00:05:08,440 --> 00:05:10,640 And, you know Neal. Well, he sat him down and... 117 00:05:10,720 --> 00:05:12,480 SCOTT: And told him there was a Santa Claus. 118 00:05:12,560 --> 00:05:15,640 Well, all he said was that Santa was more like a feeling. 119 00:05:15,720 --> 00:05:18,320 You know, more like a state of mind than a person. 120 00:05:18,360 --> 00:05:20,200 Kind of like Neal. 121 00:05:20,280 --> 00:05:23,640 And who gave you permission to tell Charlie there's no Santa Claus? 122 00:05:23,760 --> 00:05:25,160 I think if we're going to destroy 123 00:05:25,240 --> 00:05:27,160 our son's illusions, I should be a part of it. 124 00:05:27,240 --> 00:05:28,320 Yeah, but you're never around, 125 00:05:28,400 --> 00:05:29,760 are you, Scott? Oh, please. 126 00:05:29,840 --> 00:05:31,840 Listen, all we are trying to do is give Charlie 127 00:05:31,880 --> 00:05:34,000 a firm grasp on reality. 128 00:05:34,080 --> 00:05:35,400 That's a good idea. 129 00:05:35,520 --> 00:05:37,680 You don't want kids running around using their imaginations. 130 00:05:37,720 --> 00:05:39,480 Oh, yeah. That's from the guy responsible 131 00:05:39,520 --> 00:05:41,440 for the Do-It-All- For-You-Dolly. Leave her out of this. 132 00:05:41,520 --> 00:05:43,640 ♪ "Don't you burp me Don't you change me, I'm the dolly..." ♪ 133 00:05:43,680 --> 00:05:46,000 Why do you guys always have to fight? 134 00:05:46,840 --> 00:05:48,960 We're not fighting. It's your mom singing. 135 00:05:49,000 --> 00:05:50,720 It sounds a lot like fighting, doesn't it? 136 00:05:50,800 --> 00:05:52,400 Cats, even. (IMITATING CAT YOWLING) 137 00:05:52,480 --> 00:05:54,400 The trouble is, Neal and your mom, 138 00:05:54,480 --> 00:05:56,760 they don't believe in Santa because they were real naughty. 139 00:05:56,840 --> 00:05:57,840 Which is why they'll probably get 140 00:05:57,920 --> 00:05:59,200 lumps of coal in their stockings. 141 00:05:59,680 --> 00:06:02,520 I don't know. It seems kind of babyish 142 00:06:02,560 --> 00:06:04,680 to believe in that kind of stuff. 143 00:06:04,800 --> 00:06:07,880 What are you talking about? I believe in Santa Claus. I'm not a baby. 144 00:06:07,960 --> 00:06:08,960 Well... 145 00:06:09,040 --> 00:06:10,040 Maybe it's time you left. 146 00:06:10,240 --> 00:06:13,240 We don't want to keep Dr. Pinhead waiting. 147 00:06:15,960 --> 00:06:17,640 LAURA: Come here. 148 00:06:20,120 --> 00:06:22,040 Do I gotta stay? 149 00:06:23,440 --> 00:06:26,080 Listen, you and your daddy 150 00:06:26,160 --> 00:06:29,200 are gonna have a great Christmas, okay? 151 00:06:29,200 --> 00:06:30,520 Will you pick me up tomorrow? 152 00:06:30,640 --> 00:06:31,920 Of course. 153 00:06:32,000 --> 00:06:33,920 Early? Yes. 154 00:06:34,000 --> 00:06:36,080 We're talking sunup, you're here? 155 00:06:36,360 --> 00:06:37,880 (LAURA CHUCKLING) 156 00:06:37,920 --> 00:06:41,720 You'll be fine. Merry Christmas, Charlie. I love you. 157 00:06:41,800 --> 00:06:44,400 I love you, too, Mom. 158 00:06:46,400 --> 00:06:49,080 You be a good boy, okay? 159 00:06:49,160 --> 00:06:50,640 Bye, Mom. 160 00:06:50,760 --> 00:06:51,760 (DOOR OPENS) 161 00:06:51,840 --> 00:06:53,520 Four hours? 162 00:06:53,720 --> 00:06:54,760 (DOOR CLOSES) 163 00:06:54,840 --> 00:06:56,560 (CHRISTMAS SONG PLAYING) 164 00:07:01,000 --> 00:07:04,160 ♪ I'm dreaming 165 00:07:04,240 --> 00:07:08,120 ♪ Of a white Christmas 166 00:07:08,240 --> 00:07:12,360 WOMAN ON TV: Your Christmas will be perfect... 167 00:07:12,440 --> 00:07:15,240 ...with its own built-in turkey timer. 168 00:07:15,280 --> 00:07:19,120 ♪ Where those treetops glisten ♪ 169 00:07:19,200 --> 00:07:20,480 MAN ON TV: And now, we return you 170 00:07:20,560 --> 00:07:22,720 to the most cherished of Christmas stories, 171 00:07:22,760 --> 00:07:27,600 Miracle on 34th Street, starring... 172 00:07:27,680 --> 00:07:29,840 (FIRE EXTINGUISHER BLASTING) 173 00:07:36,440 --> 00:07:37,680 (SIGHS) 174 00:07:39,680 --> 00:07:40,840 Ah. 175 00:07:42,480 --> 00:07:45,960 That is exactly why you want a high-quality fire extinguisher 176 00:07:46,040 --> 00:07:47,280 right in the kitchen. 177 00:07:47,360 --> 00:07:49,800 Those flames were really big, Dad. 178 00:07:49,840 --> 00:07:52,320 Well, turkey's funny that way. 179 00:07:52,400 --> 00:07:53,400 Dad! 180 00:08:04,880 --> 00:08:06,520 It's done! 181 00:08:07,640 --> 00:08:08,640 (BRAKES SQUEALING) 182 00:08:08,720 --> 00:08:12,000 You like osso buco, Charlie? 183 00:08:12,080 --> 00:08:13,600 They're closed. 184 00:08:13,680 --> 00:08:16,640 You know, Neal's a real good cook. 185 00:08:16,720 --> 00:08:20,000 Yeah, and you should see him walk on water. 186 00:08:20,080 --> 00:08:21,840 You don't like him very much, do you, Dad? 187 00:08:21,920 --> 00:08:23,640 Charlie, yeah. I was joking, okay? 188 00:08:23,680 --> 00:08:25,000 I'm sorry. I was just kidding around. 189 00:08:25,080 --> 00:08:28,680 I like him a lot... Yeah, sure, I like him. You know, there... 190 00:08:28,720 --> 00:08:31,880 There's just something about him that makes me wanna... 191 00:08:31,960 --> 00:08:33,480 Lash out irrationally. 192 00:08:34,080 --> 00:08:36,000 Where did you hear that? 193 00:08:36,080 --> 00:08:40,080 From Neal. I learn a lot from him. He listens to me. 194 00:08:40,160 --> 00:08:42,680 Yeah. Then he charges you for it. 195 00:08:44,360 --> 00:08:45,480 (EXHALES) 196 00:08:50,560 --> 00:08:53,800 ♪ I'm dreaming 197 00:08:53,880 --> 00:08:57,240 ♪ Of a white Christmas ♪ 198 00:08:57,320 --> 00:09:01,200 All right. Denny's. It's always open. 199 00:09:01,280 --> 00:09:03,880 I don't wanna eat here. 200 00:09:03,920 --> 00:09:05,200 What're you talking about? 201 00:09:05,280 --> 00:09:08,160 Everybody likes Denny's. It's an American institution. 202 00:09:08,240 --> 00:09:09,800 (SPEAKING JAPANESE) 203 00:09:11,040 --> 00:09:12,760 (CROWD CONVERSING IN JAPANESE) 204 00:09:17,200 --> 00:09:18,560 Are you with Hatsutashi? 205 00:09:18,640 --> 00:09:19,720 No. 206 00:09:19,760 --> 00:09:20,960 Dad burned the turkey. 207 00:09:21,040 --> 00:09:23,120 Oh, yeah. This way. Come on. 208 00:09:27,640 --> 00:09:28,880 Right over there. 209 00:09:29,000 --> 00:09:30,200 Thank you. 210 00:09:31,480 --> 00:09:33,040 (CLEARS THROAT) 211 00:09:40,040 --> 00:09:41,320 WAITRESS: Here we go. 212 00:09:41,440 --> 00:09:42,800 Burn the turkey? 213 00:09:43,720 --> 00:09:44,880 (CHUCKLES) 214 00:09:45,840 --> 00:09:47,280 Coffee? 215 00:09:47,360 --> 00:09:49,760 No, thank you, Judy. 216 00:09:49,880 --> 00:09:51,040 (CHUCKLING) 217 00:09:51,080 --> 00:09:55,360 What do you say we start out with cold glasses 218 00:09:55,440 --> 00:09:58,080 of delicious seasonal favorite eggnog? 219 00:09:59,680 --> 00:10:00,960 I don't like eggnog. 220 00:10:01,120 --> 00:10:02,440 We're out. 221 00:10:02,480 --> 00:10:03,760 Coffee. Decaf. 222 00:10:03,800 --> 00:10:04,880 Mmm-hmm. 223 00:10:05,400 --> 00:10:06,800 I'll have chocolate milk, please. 224 00:10:07,160 --> 00:10:08,560 WAITRESS: We're out. 225 00:10:08,600 --> 00:10:10,400 Plain milk's fine. 226 00:10:10,440 --> 00:10:12,160 Okay. 227 00:10:12,240 --> 00:10:14,080 At least we know they got hot apple pie. 228 00:10:14,120 --> 00:10:15,240 We did. 229 00:10:15,280 --> 00:10:16,280 Mmm-hmm. 230 00:10:25,960 --> 00:10:27,360 This is nice. 231 00:10:32,120 --> 00:10:35,280 SCOTT: "And Mama in her kerchief and I in my cap 232 00:10:35,400 --> 00:10:37,960 "had just settled down for a long winter's nap. 233 00:10:38,040 --> 00:10:40,560 "When out on the lawn there arose such a clatter, 234 00:10:40,640 --> 00:10:43,120 "I sprang from my bed to see what was the matter. 235 00:10:43,200 --> 00:10:46,840 "Away to the window I flew like a flash. 236 00:10:46,920 --> 00:10:49,520 "With a miniature sleigh and St. Nick... 237 00:10:49,600 --> 00:10:52,440 "And Prancer and Dancer... 238 00:10:52,480 --> 00:10:55,560 "...and to all a good night." 239 00:11:02,840 --> 00:11:05,680 CHARLIE: What's that? 240 00:11:05,760 --> 00:11:06,920 What's what? 241 00:11:07,000 --> 00:11:08,320 "A Rose Suchak ladder"? 242 00:11:08,600 --> 00:11:12,400 It's not a ladder. I said, "Arose such a clatter." 243 00:11:12,480 --> 00:11:14,520 It means, "Came a big noise." 244 00:11:14,600 --> 00:11:16,120 What? 245 00:11:18,040 --> 00:11:22,160 Charlie, "arose" is a word that means "it came," 246 00:11:22,280 --> 00:11:24,680 and "clatter" is a big noise. 247 00:11:24,760 --> 00:11:26,200 Now please, go to sleep. Shut your eyes. 248 00:11:28,440 --> 00:11:30,880 How do reindeer fly? They don't have any wings. 249 00:11:30,960 --> 00:11:32,600 Fairy dust. 250 00:11:32,720 --> 00:11:34,400 That's from Peter Pan, Dad. 251 00:11:34,680 --> 00:11:35,720 Horns. 252 00:11:35,840 --> 00:11:37,360 Antlers. 253 00:11:37,720 --> 00:11:41,520 Whatever. Their antlers give them... 254 00:11:41,560 --> 00:11:43,720 You know, there's a slipstream effect. 255 00:11:43,800 --> 00:11:46,720 The air goes... They move... They're weightless. 256 00:11:46,800 --> 00:11:50,040 But if Santa's so fat, how did he get down the chimneys? 257 00:11:50,120 --> 00:11:51,840 He sucks it in like Grandpa. 258 00:11:51,880 --> 00:11:53,560 What about people who don't have fireplaces? 259 00:11:53,600 --> 00:11:54,720 How does he get into their house? 260 00:11:54,800 --> 00:11:59,280 Charlie, sometimes believing in something means you... 261 00:12:01,880 --> 00:12:03,800 Means you just believe in it. 262 00:12:03,880 --> 00:12:06,000 Santa uses reindeer to fly because 263 00:12:06,040 --> 00:12:07,400 that's how he has to get around. 264 00:12:07,880 --> 00:12:11,040 But you do believe in Santa, right, Dad? 265 00:12:12,720 --> 00:12:16,720 Of course I believe in Santa. Now please, go to sleep. 266 00:12:24,040 --> 00:12:25,120 Dad? 267 00:12:26,120 --> 00:12:27,360 What is it, Charlie? 268 00:12:27,400 --> 00:12:29,920 Maybe you better leave some cookies and milk out, 269 00:12:30,000 --> 00:12:31,880 just in case, okay? 270 00:12:31,920 --> 00:12:35,160 Great. I'll just go preheat the oven. 271 00:12:36,040 --> 00:12:39,840 And don't forget the fire extinguisher. 272 00:12:39,920 --> 00:12:42,240 Good night, Charlie. 273 00:12:43,080 --> 00:12:44,680 (SIGHS) 274 00:12:47,320 --> 00:12:48,880 (BELLS JINGLING) 275 00:12:48,920 --> 00:12:50,240 (JET ENGINE WHOOSHING) 276 00:12:53,320 --> 00:12:54,960 (CHIMING) 277 00:12:57,200 --> 00:12:58,280 SANTA: (FAINTLY) Ho! 278 00:12:58,320 --> 00:12:59,320 (THUDDING) 279 00:13:01,640 --> 00:13:03,600 Settle down there. 280 00:13:08,120 --> 00:13:09,240 (DOG BARKING) 281 00:13:09,280 --> 00:13:10,680 (STOMPING) 282 00:13:14,880 --> 00:13:16,800 (QUIETLY) Dad! Dad! 283 00:13:16,880 --> 00:13:18,120 (SNORTING) 284 00:13:18,200 --> 00:13:19,800 What? 285 00:13:19,840 --> 00:13:21,680 I heard a clatter! 286 00:13:22,040 --> 00:13:23,040 What, Charlie? 287 00:13:23,120 --> 00:13:24,720 (CLATTERING) There! A clatter. 288 00:13:24,800 --> 00:13:26,600 Charlie, what're you talking about? 289 00:13:26,640 --> 00:13:28,640 You know, "It came a big noise"? 290 00:13:28,880 --> 00:13:30,840 It's coming from outside! 291 00:13:30,960 --> 00:13:32,960 Charlie, it's just the wind or something. 292 00:13:33,040 --> 00:13:34,720 Come on, let's go back to bed. 293 00:13:34,800 --> 00:13:36,200 (THUDDING) 294 00:13:39,120 --> 00:13:40,240 Somebody's on the roof. 295 00:13:40,360 --> 00:13:41,520 Maybe it's Santa. 296 00:13:41,600 --> 00:13:43,840 Not now, Charlie. I want you to sit here, 297 00:13:43,880 --> 00:13:45,840 and I want you to stay right there. 298 00:13:47,480 --> 00:13:49,720 Charlie, do you know how to call 911? 299 00:13:49,880 --> 00:13:51,440 Sure. 911. 300 00:13:52,240 --> 00:13:55,520 Yeah, great. Stay there. 301 00:14:08,720 --> 00:14:09,760 Hey, you! 302 00:14:10,160 --> 00:14:11,360 Oops! Whoa! 303 00:14:12,400 --> 00:14:14,000 Whoa, whoa! 304 00:14:14,120 --> 00:14:15,680 Whoa! 305 00:14:15,720 --> 00:14:16,960 (SANTA SHOUTING) 306 00:14:17,520 --> 00:14:18,960 (THUD) 307 00:14:32,880 --> 00:14:34,400 Whoo-hoo! 308 00:14:35,520 --> 00:14:37,040 (BELLS JINGLING) Hey, buddy. 309 00:14:37,120 --> 00:14:42,560 All right. You should just stay still. Perfect. 310 00:14:45,720 --> 00:14:46,840 You got him! 311 00:14:46,880 --> 00:14:47,880 Charlie, stay where you are. 312 00:14:47,960 --> 00:14:50,400 Charlie, would you listen to me? Stay up there! 313 00:14:50,920 --> 00:14:54,560 It is Santa! You killed him. 314 00:14:54,640 --> 00:14:57,400 Did not! It is not Santa. 315 00:14:57,840 --> 00:14:59,480 Well, he was. 316 00:15:02,200 --> 00:15:03,440 He's got some ID on him, I bet. 317 00:15:03,520 --> 00:15:04,520 Fella, if you can hear me, 318 00:15:04,560 --> 00:15:06,160 I'm just looking for your identification. 319 00:15:06,960 --> 00:15:08,040 Once I figure out who you are, 320 00:15:08,080 --> 00:15:09,440 I'll give you a lift back to the mall. 321 00:15:12,560 --> 00:15:14,760 "If something should happen to me, put on my suit. 322 00:15:14,800 --> 00:15:16,560 "The reindeer will know what to do." 323 00:15:16,560 --> 00:15:18,080 Yeah, right. 324 00:15:18,120 --> 00:15:19,760 (BELLS CHIMING) 325 00:15:31,640 --> 00:15:32,920 Whoa. 326 00:16:02,120 --> 00:16:03,440 Dad! 327 00:16:05,480 --> 00:16:06,480 Hey. 328 00:16:06,560 --> 00:16:07,600 CHARLIE: He disappeared! 329 00:16:08,200 --> 00:16:09,360 Whoa. 330 00:16:10,080 --> 00:16:11,800 He's naked somewhere. 331 00:16:12,800 --> 00:16:14,560 You gonna put on the suit like the card said? 332 00:16:14,640 --> 00:16:15,680 Are you? No. No. 333 00:16:15,760 --> 00:16:17,480 Come on, Dad. I wanna go, too. 334 00:16:17,560 --> 00:16:19,640 Stop it, Charlie. We're not going anywhere. 335 00:16:19,720 --> 00:16:20,840 You never do what I wanna do! 336 00:16:20,920 --> 00:16:23,680 Would you please be quiet for a minute so I can figure this out? 337 00:16:24,040 --> 00:16:25,240 (SIGHS) 338 00:16:26,120 --> 00:16:28,280 Reindeer up on the roof. 339 00:16:28,320 --> 00:16:30,360 Santa suit laying on the ground. 340 00:16:30,440 --> 00:16:32,920 Guy fell. Not my fault. 341 00:16:34,560 --> 00:16:38,240 Reindeer on the roof. That is hard to explain. 342 00:16:38,320 --> 00:16:39,480 It's the ladder. 343 00:16:40,400 --> 00:16:41,640 (GROANS) 344 00:16:43,560 --> 00:16:46,400 Where the hell'd this come from? 345 00:16:47,240 --> 00:16:50,880 Look here, Dad. "The Rose Suchak Ladder Company." 346 00:16:51,160 --> 00:16:52,240 Huh? 347 00:16:52,680 --> 00:16:55,520 "Out by the roof there's a Rose Suchak ladder." 348 00:16:55,600 --> 00:16:57,000 Just like the poem. 349 00:16:57,200 --> 00:16:58,640 Just like the poem? 350 00:17:00,000 --> 00:17:02,760 Charlie, come on down from there. Charlie, get down from there! 351 00:17:02,840 --> 00:17:06,480 Dad! You gotta see this! 352 00:17:06,520 --> 00:17:07,960 SCOTT: Don't touch anything. 353 00:17:08,040 --> 00:17:09,040 It's great! 354 00:17:09,120 --> 00:17:10,320 I'm just gonna call the police. 355 00:17:10,360 --> 00:17:11,640 I'll carry this stuff up there. 356 00:17:11,680 --> 00:17:13,040 Let them deal with it, okay? 357 00:17:13,080 --> 00:17:14,280 (SOFT MOANING) 358 00:17:14,360 --> 00:17:15,680 (LAUGHING) 359 00:17:16,280 --> 00:17:17,560 Whoa. 360 00:17:18,080 --> 00:17:19,480 This guy was huge. 361 00:17:20,480 --> 00:17:22,160 Dad, isn't this neat? (MOANING CONTINUES) 362 00:17:22,200 --> 00:17:26,080 Charlie. Charlie! Stay away from those things. 363 00:17:26,160 --> 00:17:28,280 They're reindeer. You don't know where they've been. 364 00:17:28,400 --> 00:17:31,840 They all look like they've got key lime disease. 365 00:17:32,440 --> 00:17:34,160 (FARTS) 366 00:17:35,720 --> 00:17:37,520 (EXCLAIMS IN DISGUST) Easy, Rudolph. 367 00:17:37,640 --> 00:17:39,000 (GRUNTING) 368 00:17:40,920 --> 00:17:43,040 Excuse me. Comet. 369 00:17:43,040 --> 00:17:46,080 Dad! Check out Santa's sleigh! 370 00:17:46,120 --> 00:17:48,560 There's no such thing as Santa's sleigh. 371 00:17:48,640 --> 00:17:51,720 Sure there is. You said you believed in Santa. 372 00:17:51,840 --> 00:17:52,800 Right? 373 00:17:52,920 --> 00:17:54,120 I did? I do! 374 00:17:54,200 --> 00:17:55,920 What about the reindeer? 375 00:17:56,000 --> 00:17:58,240 These are Santa's reindeer, aren't they? 376 00:17:58,760 --> 00:18:00,320 I hope not. 377 00:18:00,400 --> 00:18:02,920 These are 378 00:18:05,040 --> 00:18:06,360 a gift. 379 00:18:07,600 --> 00:18:09,160 Probably from the cable company. 380 00:18:10,920 --> 00:18:13,880 We're getting the Disney Channel now. Merry Christmas. 381 00:18:13,920 --> 00:18:15,600 Now, hop out of there, please. 382 00:18:15,880 --> 00:18:17,400 I don't wanna go. 383 00:18:17,440 --> 00:18:19,600 Listen, Charlie, I'm not kidding. 384 00:18:19,640 --> 00:18:21,320 (SHOUTING) Let's go! 385 00:18:21,400 --> 00:18:22,760 (GROANING) 386 00:18:23,760 --> 00:18:24,800 Yeah, let's go! 387 00:18:24,880 --> 00:18:26,400 (CHARLIE SHOUTING GLEEFULLY) 388 00:18:27,360 --> 00:18:28,600 (SCREAMING) 389 00:18:32,440 --> 00:18:33,760 Charlie! 390 00:18:34,640 --> 00:18:37,600 Hold on, Charlie! (SCREAMING) 391 00:18:40,800 --> 00:18:42,280 CHARLIE: Whoa! 392 00:18:45,680 --> 00:18:49,320 Giddyap, Comet! Whoa, let's go! 393 00:18:52,320 --> 00:18:54,240 Dad, climb up here. 394 00:18:54,800 --> 00:18:56,040 (GRUNTING) 395 00:18:56,120 --> 00:18:57,720 There we go. 396 00:18:57,800 --> 00:19:01,720 So, if we go straight on this road and we hit I-94... 397 00:19:12,240 --> 00:19:14,160 (SCOTT SCREAMING) 398 00:19:16,920 --> 00:19:18,360 (SCOTT GRUNTS) 399 00:19:21,200 --> 00:19:24,800 Well, we made good time. Now what do we do? 400 00:19:24,840 --> 00:19:26,120 Get the bag of toys! 401 00:19:26,240 --> 00:19:27,520 And do what? 402 00:19:27,600 --> 00:19:29,120 Go down the chimney. 403 00:19:29,240 --> 00:19:30,800 Down the chimney! 404 00:19:30,840 --> 00:19:33,680 You want me to take the toys down the chimney 405 00:19:33,720 --> 00:19:36,800 into a strange house in my underwear? 406 00:19:36,840 --> 00:19:39,960 No. You got to put the suit on first. 407 00:19:40,000 --> 00:19:41,680 You know what we're gonna do, 408 00:19:41,760 --> 00:19:43,440 is we're gonna get out of here 409 00:19:43,520 --> 00:19:47,200 because this whole thing is stupid. 410 00:19:47,680 --> 00:19:50,080 How come everything I want to do is stupid? 411 00:19:54,600 --> 00:19:56,600 I didn't say that. 412 00:19:59,200 --> 00:20:00,720 (SOFT GRUNT) 413 00:20:12,560 --> 00:20:14,880 Freezing my nubs off out here, 414 00:20:14,960 --> 00:20:17,280 and you want me to get into a Santa costume. 415 00:20:17,400 --> 00:20:19,680 This is great. A Santa costume. 416 00:20:19,720 --> 00:20:22,720 Oh, this thing. You never know where it's been. 417 00:20:23,960 --> 00:20:26,240 A thousand malls. 418 00:20:26,280 --> 00:20:29,040 Well, I hope you're happy, Comet. 419 00:20:29,040 --> 00:20:30,880 Hope you're happy. But most of all, 420 00:20:30,960 --> 00:20:34,400 I hope the guy that lives here is a tailor! 421 00:20:34,480 --> 00:20:37,000 Nice coat. 422 00:20:38,080 --> 00:20:41,760 Well, how do I look? Nice? 423 00:20:42,240 --> 00:20:43,400 You forgot the sash. 424 00:20:43,760 --> 00:20:44,800 You're right. 425 00:20:44,880 --> 00:20:47,280 This completes the ensemble. 426 00:20:48,880 --> 00:20:51,360 All right. Got my boots. 427 00:20:51,400 --> 00:20:53,040 Now I've got the suit on. 428 00:20:53,080 --> 00:20:54,680 How am I supposed to know what to leave? 429 00:20:54,760 --> 00:20:56,240 Maybe there's a list. 430 00:20:56,280 --> 00:20:59,640 A list. How silly of me. Of course there's a list. 431 00:21:01,480 --> 00:21:03,440 (PANICKED SHOUTING) 432 00:21:03,520 --> 00:21:05,240 Careful, Dad! 433 00:21:06,400 --> 00:21:08,280 I'm okay, I'm okay, I'm okay! 434 00:21:08,400 --> 00:21:10,280 Look! You're flying! 435 00:21:10,360 --> 00:21:13,120 It's okay, I'm used to it. I lived through the '60s. 436 00:21:13,200 --> 00:21:15,440 Whoa, whoa, whoa! (GROANING) 437 00:21:21,240 --> 00:21:22,800 (SCREAMING) 438 00:21:23,440 --> 00:21:24,840 (GRUNTING) 439 00:21:24,920 --> 00:21:26,440 (GROANING) 440 00:21:56,200 --> 00:21:57,480 (LIGHT THUDDING) 441 00:21:58,200 --> 00:21:59,560 (GROWLING) 442 00:22:01,320 --> 00:22:02,480 Nice teeth. 443 00:22:02,640 --> 00:22:04,360 (BARKING) 444 00:22:06,200 --> 00:22:07,520 MAN: Who's down there? (ALARM BLARING) 445 00:22:07,600 --> 00:22:09,000 (WHIMPERING) 446 00:22:11,000 --> 00:22:12,840 It's the holidays. Come on, come on. 447 00:22:13,080 --> 00:22:14,240 (CONTINUES BARKING) 448 00:22:14,320 --> 00:22:15,640 (GUNSHOT) 449 00:22:16,720 --> 00:22:20,520 Hey, Charles! Need a little help down here! 450 00:22:21,920 --> 00:22:23,000 (SCOTT GRUNTS) (CHIMNEY BELCHES) 451 00:22:23,560 --> 00:22:24,640 Whoa! 452 00:22:24,680 --> 00:22:28,000 How'd you do that? What'd it feel like, Dad? 453 00:22:28,080 --> 00:22:30,520 It felt like America's Most Wanted! 454 00:22:31,520 --> 00:22:34,000 Now pull me in, quick! We gotta get outta here. 455 00:22:34,080 --> 00:22:35,280 (GRUNTING) 456 00:22:35,600 --> 00:22:38,760 Thanks. We gotta go home. How do you start this thing? 457 00:22:39,200 --> 00:22:40,680 (LOUD RUMBLING) Just like that! 458 00:22:44,680 --> 00:22:46,400 (HOUSE ALARM CONTINUES) 459 00:22:47,040 --> 00:22:48,360 Whoa. 460 00:22:49,840 --> 00:22:52,560 This could be a really long night. 461 00:22:52,680 --> 00:22:53,800 (REINDEER GRUNTING) 462 00:22:53,880 --> 00:22:54,960 Do it again, Dad. 463 00:22:55,040 --> 00:22:56,360 Please? 464 00:22:57,640 --> 00:22:59,960 I can't. That thing's empty. 465 00:23:00,680 --> 00:23:02,440 (GRUNTING) 466 00:23:02,720 --> 00:23:04,320 There's nothing in the bag. 467 00:23:04,400 --> 00:23:05,480 (GROWLING) 468 00:23:05,560 --> 00:23:08,080 Even if there was, didn't you notice there's no chimney? 469 00:23:08,160 --> 00:23:09,600 Where there's no chimney, there's no fireplace. 470 00:23:09,720 --> 00:23:11,240 (CONTINUES GROWLING) 471 00:23:11,880 --> 00:23:13,800 Are you growling at me? 472 00:23:14,080 --> 00:23:15,480 (GRUNTS) 473 00:23:15,560 --> 00:23:20,480 Look, Comet, like I said, there is nothing left... 474 00:23:21,080 --> 00:23:24,400 That's so weird, because I know when I did that... 475 00:23:24,480 --> 00:23:26,240 No, no, no, no, no! 476 00:23:26,280 --> 00:23:29,080 Hold it! There's no chimney here! 477 00:23:29,160 --> 00:23:31,160 Can you hear me? No chimney, all right? 478 00:23:31,240 --> 00:23:33,040 Looking good, Dad! 479 00:23:33,920 --> 00:23:36,360 You have got to be kidding! 480 00:23:36,400 --> 00:23:39,080 Come on! Look at the size of this thing! 481 00:23:39,120 --> 00:23:40,480 (GROANING) 482 00:23:40,560 --> 00:23:42,240 (GRUNTING) 483 00:23:42,560 --> 00:23:44,160 (GULPING) 484 00:23:47,200 --> 00:23:49,040 (GROANING) 485 00:23:51,760 --> 00:23:53,120 Weird! Ow. 486 00:23:59,080 --> 00:24:00,200 (GROANS) 487 00:24:03,040 --> 00:24:04,560 (SIGHING) 488 00:24:06,920 --> 00:24:08,120 Santa? 489 00:24:08,280 --> 00:24:09,520 Scott Calvin. 490 00:24:10,040 --> 00:24:12,360 How come your clothes are so baggy? 491 00:24:12,440 --> 00:24:17,200 Because Santa is watching his saturated fats. 492 00:24:17,280 --> 00:24:19,000 How come you don't have a beard? 493 00:24:19,120 --> 00:24:20,880 Because I shaved! 494 00:24:21,880 --> 00:24:24,880 Do you want this doll or not? Go back to sleep. 495 00:24:27,520 --> 00:24:28,960 (ORNAMENT BREAKING) 496 00:24:31,800 --> 00:24:34,160 You're supposed to drink the milk. 497 00:24:34,160 --> 00:24:36,880 Look, I am lactose intolerant. 498 00:24:36,960 --> 00:24:39,600 And I am just about this close to taking 499 00:24:39,640 --> 00:24:42,240 all those presents back up the chimney. 500 00:24:44,120 --> 00:24:46,480 (MOCKING TONE) "Supposed to drink the milk"! 501 00:24:48,160 --> 00:24:49,640 Shut your eyes! 502 00:24:51,160 --> 00:24:52,480 Oh! 503 00:24:56,840 --> 00:24:58,560 CHARLIE: How do you get in without a fireplace? 504 00:24:58,640 --> 00:24:59,680 SCOTT: I don't know. 505 00:24:59,760 --> 00:25:01,080 One just kind of appeared. 506 00:25:01,160 --> 00:25:02,480 Awesome! 507 00:25:02,480 --> 00:25:03,840 (CHUCKLING) 508 00:25:04,520 --> 00:25:06,000 (SIGHS) 509 00:25:11,000 --> 00:25:12,560 (GRUNTING) Oh, boy! 510 00:25:14,480 --> 00:25:15,840 (GLASS SHATTERING) 511 00:25:36,360 --> 00:25:37,800 (CRASHING) 512 00:25:53,160 --> 00:25:56,880 Charlie, look at the clouds over here. Aren't they pretty? 513 00:25:56,920 --> 00:25:58,280 Charlie! 514 00:25:58,480 --> 00:25:59,480 (CHARLIE GIGGLING) 515 00:25:59,560 --> 00:26:00,560 (DOG BARKING) 516 00:26:13,920 --> 00:26:15,120 Yah! 517 00:26:24,720 --> 00:26:27,680 All right. Morning, fellas. 518 00:26:27,760 --> 00:26:31,600 Morning, sport. We're done, Comet. Ho-ho-ho. 519 00:26:31,640 --> 00:26:33,880 Back to the house. 520 00:26:33,920 --> 00:26:37,320 Merry Christmas to all and to all a good night. 521 00:26:37,400 --> 00:26:40,440 When I wake up, I'm getting a CAT scan! 522 00:26:57,600 --> 00:26:59,360 (REINDEER BLEATING) 523 00:27:00,960 --> 00:27:02,560 CHARLIE: Is this okay, Dad? 524 00:27:03,680 --> 00:27:06,160 No, it's not okay! 525 00:27:06,240 --> 00:27:10,200 Hey, does this look like home to you guys? 526 00:27:10,920 --> 00:27:12,600 No, no! No, no, no, no! 527 00:27:12,640 --> 00:27:16,080 Hey, hey! Where you going? Come back here! 528 00:27:16,240 --> 00:27:17,640 Oh. 529 00:27:18,120 --> 00:27:19,760 (GRUNTING) 530 00:27:24,160 --> 00:27:25,200 (FOOTSTEPS APPROACHING) 531 00:27:25,280 --> 00:27:29,800 ♪ In the silence of the night 532 00:27:30,480 --> 00:27:32,160 ♪ When the snow... 533 00:27:32,240 --> 00:27:35,480 Hey, hey! Hey, buddy! 534 00:27:35,520 --> 00:27:38,240 You, sir! Hey! 535 00:27:38,320 --> 00:27:40,360 ♪ You can see a magic light 536 00:27:40,440 --> 00:27:44,720 ♪ And hear the ring of Christmas bells 537 00:27:45,000 --> 00:27:46,240 Can you hear me? 538 00:27:46,320 --> 00:27:50,680 ♪ Though the night seems long and dark 539 00:27:50,760 --> 00:27:53,000 ♪ It is the earth... 540 00:27:53,080 --> 00:27:54,160 What's that? 541 00:27:54,200 --> 00:27:55,520 I don't know. 542 00:27:55,880 --> 00:27:58,440 I think it's the North Pole. 543 00:27:58,520 --> 00:28:00,720 That's the North Pole? 544 00:28:00,800 --> 00:28:02,840 Hey, buddy, we need some help. 545 00:28:02,880 --> 00:28:06,720 Hello! What are you doing? 546 00:28:06,800 --> 00:28:11,440 ♪ So close your eyes and come with me 547 00:28:12,560 --> 00:28:18,000 ♪ The Christmas bells will bring you home 548 00:28:34,040 --> 00:28:35,760 (BLEATING) 549 00:28:39,040 --> 00:28:41,600 ELF: Hey, look! Here comes the new Santa! 550 00:28:41,680 --> 00:28:45,040 ♪ And now with song we fill the night 551 00:28:45,120 --> 00:28:48,200 ♪ While magic dances in the light 552 00:28:48,240 --> 00:28:51,360 ♪ To wish you now and all the year 553 00:28:51,400 --> 00:28:54,080 ♪ The joy that comes with Christmas cheer 554 00:28:54,120 --> 00:28:55,200 Sit back. 555 00:28:55,240 --> 00:28:57,760 ♪ Hear our voices fill the air 556 00:28:57,840 --> 00:29:00,960 ♪ To drive the winter's cold away 557 00:29:01,040 --> 00:29:04,520 ♪ And so our hearts with all will share 558 00:29:04,560 --> 00:29:07,960 ♪ The love that comes with Christmas day 559 00:29:08,040 --> 00:29:11,160 ♪ The love that comes with Christmas day 560 00:29:11,240 --> 00:29:16,400 ♪ The Christmas bells will bring you home ♪ 561 00:29:16,560 --> 00:29:17,920 (INDISTINCT CONVERSATIONS) 562 00:29:18,000 --> 00:29:19,080 (REINDEER GULPING) 563 00:29:24,560 --> 00:29:26,160 Where are all the grownups? 564 00:29:26,280 --> 00:29:28,240 This is so cool! 565 00:29:28,280 --> 00:29:30,240 Stay here. 566 00:29:30,280 --> 00:29:33,760 Hey, kid, kid. Kid, who's in charge here? 567 00:29:33,800 --> 00:29:35,640 (CHUCKLING) You are. And I'm not a kid. 568 00:29:35,720 --> 00:29:39,680 I've pointy shoes that are older than you. I'm an elf. 569 00:29:39,760 --> 00:29:42,560 You guys, or you girls. 570 00:29:42,600 --> 00:29:44,160 Who gives the orders? Who's your boss? 571 00:29:44,240 --> 00:29:46,160 You are. No, no, no. 572 00:29:46,240 --> 00:29:47,440 Who's the head elf? 573 00:29:47,480 --> 00:29:48,480 You are! 574 00:29:48,560 --> 00:29:51,040 Hey! Who's causing all the trouble around here? 575 00:29:51,120 --> 00:29:52,480 He is. She is. 576 00:29:52,600 --> 00:29:54,920 Excuse me, are we on a coffee break? 577 00:29:54,960 --> 00:29:56,200 We don't drink coffee. 578 00:29:56,920 --> 00:29:58,520 Then I guess the break is over. 579 00:29:58,600 --> 00:30:00,160 Back to work. Thanks. 580 00:30:00,960 --> 00:30:03,840 Take it easy on her, will ya? Who are you? 581 00:30:03,920 --> 00:30:06,240 I'm Bernard. Nice to meet ya, Santa. 582 00:30:06,960 --> 00:30:09,560 I'm not Santa! I've had a rough night. 583 00:30:09,640 --> 00:30:11,600 There's been dogs barking, guns going off. 584 00:30:11,640 --> 00:30:13,200 Look, my back's killing me. 585 00:30:13,280 --> 00:30:15,040 Have you ever tried to shove a sea kayak down a chimney? 586 00:30:15,120 --> 00:30:16,480 I'm tired of this small talk. 587 00:30:16,520 --> 00:30:17,520 Hmm. 588 00:30:18,000 --> 00:30:20,160 The other Santa disappeared, right? 589 00:30:21,920 --> 00:30:25,480 Wait a minute. Hey! I know where this is going. 590 00:30:25,520 --> 00:30:28,720 It wasn't my fault. The other guy fell. It was an accident. 591 00:30:28,800 --> 00:30:31,800 I've got homeowner's insurance and a good attorney. 592 00:30:31,840 --> 00:30:35,000 Not as good as my wife's, but let's not open up that wound. 593 00:30:35,040 --> 00:30:38,080 Hold it a minute. Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa. 594 00:30:38,160 --> 00:30:39,920 How did you know the other guy was gone? 595 00:30:40,000 --> 00:30:41,360 Can I get you a drink? 596 00:30:41,520 --> 00:30:42,840 No, I don't want a drink. 597 00:30:42,920 --> 00:30:45,640 I'm thirsty, and hungry, too. 598 00:30:46,080 --> 00:30:47,800 Charlie, I thought I told you to stay in the sleigh. 599 00:30:47,840 --> 00:30:49,000 Who's this? 600 00:30:50,520 --> 00:30:51,960 This is my son, Charlie. 601 00:30:52,560 --> 00:30:54,840 I'm sorry. Charlie, this is... (STAMMERING) 602 00:30:54,880 --> 00:30:56,520 Bernard. Bernard. 603 00:30:56,760 --> 00:30:57,760 Hi, Bernard. 604 00:30:57,840 --> 00:30:58,840 Hiya, sport. 605 00:30:59,440 --> 00:31:00,880 Hey, Dad, he called me "sport" 606 00:31:01,000 --> 00:31:02,680 just like you. Wonderful. 607 00:31:02,720 --> 00:31:05,440 Hey, you know what? I got something for you. 608 00:31:05,520 --> 00:31:08,520 Okay, now hold out your hand, all right? 609 00:31:08,560 --> 00:31:12,960 Now, be very careful. This is very old, just like me. 610 00:31:16,080 --> 00:31:17,440 Shake it up, Charlie. 611 00:31:21,760 --> 00:31:23,720 (BELLS JINGLING) 612 00:31:29,400 --> 00:31:30,880 Wow. 613 00:31:30,920 --> 00:31:33,600 Why don't you hold onto it for me for a while? 614 00:31:33,680 --> 00:31:35,240 It might come in handy. 615 00:31:35,280 --> 00:31:38,680 Thanks. Thanks a lot. 616 00:31:39,560 --> 00:31:42,120 I promise I'll take real good care of it. 617 00:31:42,200 --> 00:31:44,640 Make sure you do. 618 00:31:44,720 --> 00:31:47,120 I will. 619 00:31:47,200 --> 00:31:49,320 Hey, Dad, look! 620 00:31:51,200 --> 00:31:54,120 Fabulous ball. Hey, Barabbas. 621 00:31:54,200 --> 00:31:56,000 Bernard! Bernard. 622 00:31:56,080 --> 00:31:58,560 Can we take a direct flight back to reality 623 00:31:58,600 --> 00:32:00,240 or do we have to change planes in Denver? 624 00:32:00,280 --> 00:32:02,120 Larry, take Charlie here and get him some chow. 625 00:32:02,200 --> 00:32:03,600 No, Larry, don't do that. Charlie! 626 00:32:03,680 --> 00:32:06,480 He'll be okay. Follow me, you'll want to get out of those clothes. 627 00:32:06,560 --> 00:32:09,480 I... No, look, Barnaby, I just want to go home. 628 00:32:10,080 --> 00:32:11,640 (TOYS CLANGING) 629 00:32:12,040 --> 00:32:13,800 (TRAIN WHISTLE BLOWING) 630 00:32:34,120 --> 00:32:36,880 Look, I am not Santa Claus! 631 00:32:37,680 --> 00:32:38,840 Ah. 632 00:32:39,120 --> 00:32:41,240 Did you or did you not read the card? 633 00:32:41,280 --> 00:32:42,360 Yeah, I read the card. 634 00:32:42,480 --> 00:32:43,600 Then you're the new Santa. 635 00:32:43,640 --> 00:32:46,120 In putting on the hat and jacket, you accepted the contract. 636 00:32:46,200 --> 00:32:47,880 What contract? 637 00:32:47,960 --> 00:32:49,360 The card in the Santa suit. 638 00:32:49,440 --> 00:32:50,480 You said you read it, right? 639 00:32:50,520 --> 00:32:51,800 So when you put on the suit, 640 00:32:51,880 --> 00:32:53,680 you fell subject to the Santa Clause. 641 00:32:53,760 --> 00:32:55,280 Here. The Santa Claus? 642 00:32:55,320 --> 00:32:57,200 You mean the guy that fell off my roof? 643 00:32:57,280 --> 00:33:00,720 No, no, no. Not Santa Claus the person, Santa Clause the clause. 644 00:33:00,800 --> 00:33:02,240 What? 645 00:33:03,240 --> 00:33:04,680 Look, you're a businessman, right? 646 00:33:04,760 --> 00:33:05,760 Yeah. Okay. 647 00:33:05,800 --> 00:33:08,960 A clause, as in the last line of a contract. 648 00:33:10,320 --> 00:33:11,960 You got the card? 649 00:33:12,960 --> 00:33:15,440 Okay, look. (EXHALES DEEPLY) 650 00:33:15,480 --> 00:33:17,040 The Santa Clause, 651 00:33:17,120 --> 00:33:18,840 "In putting on this suit and entering the sleigh, 652 00:33:18,880 --> 00:33:21,320 "the wearer waives any and all rights to any previous identity, 653 00:33:21,360 --> 00:33:22,360 "real or implied, 654 00:33:22,480 --> 00:33:24,880 "and fully accepts the duties and responsibilities 655 00:33:24,960 --> 00:33:27,160 "of Santa Claus in perpetuity 656 00:33:27,200 --> 00:33:29,760 "until such time that wearer becomes unable to do so 657 00:33:29,840 --> 00:33:31,760 "by either accident or design." 658 00:33:32,360 --> 00:33:33,520 What does that mean? 659 00:33:33,600 --> 00:33:35,600 It means you put on the suit, you're the big guy. 660 00:33:35,680 --> 00:33:37,000 That's ridiculous. I didn't put on a suit just to... 661 00:33:37,040 --> 00:33:39,120 Try to understand this! 662 00:33:39,320 --> 00:33:40,400 ELVES: Ooh. 663 00:33:42,200 --> 00:33:44,400 Let me explain something to you, okay? 664 00:33:44,480 --> 00:33:46,560 Toys have to be delivered. I'm not gonna do it. 665 00:33:46,640 --> 00:33:48,520 It's not my job. I'm just an elf. 666 00:33:48,560 --> 00:33:51,880 It's Santa's job, but Santa fell off a roof, your roof. 667 00:33:51,920 --> 00:33:53,680 You read the card, you put on the suit. 668 00:33:53,760 --> 00:33:55,360 That clearly falls under the Santa Clause. 669 00:33:55,400 --> 00:33:56,720 Now you're Santa, okay? 670 00:33:56,760 --> 00:33:57,760 A question. 671 00:33:57,840 --> 00:33:59,600 What? When can I get outta here? 672 00:33:59,720 --> 00:34:01,880 Dad, you gotta see this place! 673 00:34:01,920 --> 00:34:03,200 You leave tomorrow morning. 674 00:34:03,280 --> 00:34:05,160 You have 11 months to get your affairs in order, 675 00:34:05,200 --> 00:34:06,840 and you're due back here Thanksgiving. 676 00:34:06,880 --> 00:34:08,280 I'm not coming back here on Thanksgiving. 677 00:34:08,400 --> 00:34:10,600 I'll ship the list to your house. 678 00:34:10,680 --> 00:34:11,800 What list? 679 00:34:12,400 --> 00:34:13,920 Come on, now. The list. 680 00:34:18,000 --> 00:34:19,440 ♪ He's making a list 681 00:34:19,520 --> 00:34:21,360 ♪ Checking it twice 682 00:34:21,400 --> 00:34:25,200 ELVES: ♪ Gonna find out who's naughty or nice ♪ 683 00:34:25,240 --> 00:34:27,600 Ugh. Look, you put a "P" next to the kids who are nice 684 00:34:27,680 --> 00:34:29,160 and a "C" next to the naughty ones. 685 00:34:29,240 --> 00:34:30,480 "P" and "C"? 686 00:34:30,560 --> 00:34:33,600 Yeah! "P" for present, "C" for coal, right, Bernard? 687 00:34:33,680 --> 00:34:34,880 Right! 688 00:34:34,920 --> 00:34:36,480 Wait a minute! How do I know who's good and bad? 689 00:34:36,560 --> 00:34:37,760 You'll know. 690 00:34:37,800 --> 00:34:39,320 What if I don't wanna do this? 691 00:34:39,800 --> 00:34:42,040 Don't even kid about a thing like that! 692 00:34:42,080 --> 00:34:43,080 Why not? 693 00:34:43,160 --> 00:34:45,400 What if I don't buy into this Santa Claus thing? 694 00:34:45,520 --> 00:34:48,120 What if I choose not to believe it? 695 00:34:48,400 --> 00:34:49,600 (SILENCE) 696 00:34:59,640 --> 00:35:02,000 Then there would be millions of disappointed children 697 00:35:02,080 --> 00:35:03,280 around the world. 698 00:35:04,440 --> 00:35:07,760 You see, children hold the spirit of Christmas 699 00:35:07,800 --> 00:35:09,400 within their hearts. 700 00:35:10,560 --> 00:35:11,960 You wouldn't want to be responsible 701 00:35:12,000 --> 00:35:16,960 for killing the spirit of Christmas, now, would you, Santa? 702 00:35:19,400 --> 00:35:20,960 Judy will take you to your room. 703 00:35:21,040 --> 00:35:23,280 Get out of the suit, it needs to be cleaned. 704 00:35:23,320 --> 00:35:24,440 And taken in. 705 00:35:24,480 --> 00:35:25,680 Then get some sleep. 706 00:35:25,760 --> 00:35:29,440 We've got a lot of work to do and only a year in which to do it. 707 00:35:30,400 --> 00:35:31,960 (TRAIN WHISTLE BLOWING) 708 00:35:37,320 --> 00:35:38,320 Judy. 709 00:35:38,840 --> 00:35:40,000 Santa. 710 00:35:40,080 --> 00:35:41,320 Scott Calvin. 711 00:35:41,360 --> 00:35:42,600 Follow me. 712 00:35:45,120 --> 00:35:46,840 I'll just take the next train. 713 00:35:46,920 --> 00:35:48,280 Dad, come on! 714 00:35:48,320 --> 00:35:49,480 Charlie! 715 00:35:51,280 --> 00:35:53,440 Come on, Dad! 716 00:35:53,480 --> 00:35:55,480 Charlie, wait up! 717 00:35:56,080 --> 00:35:57,360 (PUPPETS CACKLING) 718 00:35:57,480 --> 00:35:59,160 That's funny. I like that. 719 00:35:59,240 --> 00:36:01,160 I like that, too. But I don't like... 720 00:36:05,360 --> 00:36:06,800 (TOOTING) 721 00:36:14,960 --> 00:36:16,320 Wow. 722 00:36:16,840 --> 00:36:18,320 (THUDDING) (GROANS) 723 00:36:23,360 --> 00:36:27,200 Can I get you anything? The kitchen's always open. 724 00:36:27,280 --> 00:36:29,120 How about a stiff drink? 725 00:36:30,880 --> 00:36:32,880 JUDY: You should get some sleep. 726 00:36:35,160 --> 00:36:38,080 Here are your pajamas. I'll be right back. 727 00:36:45,040 --> 00:36:47,440 PUNCH PUPPET: Look, Judy. Look over there. 728 00:36:47,640 --> 00:36:49,280 (PUPPETS CONTINUE INDISTINCTLY) 729 00:36:51,000 --> 00:36:53,680 Look over there. I know. 730 00:36:53,720 --> 00:36:56,800 Look over there. There's a canoe. Yeah, it's true. 731 00:36:56,920 --> 00:36:58,080 (JUDY PUPPET SCREAMS) 732 00:36:58,160 --> 00:37:01,200 Look, there's an emu! 733 00:37:06,400 --> 00:37:08,320 ELF: Look at him! Shoo! 734 00:37:08,400 --> 00:37:10,000 (ELVES GIGGLING) 735 00:37:12,240 --> 00:37:13,440 JUDY: Santa? 736 00:37:13,560 --> 00:37:14,880 Scott Calvin. 737 00:37:22,360 --> 00:37:24,160 I brought you some cocoa. 738 00:37:24,280 --> 00:37:26,120 No, thanks. 739 00:37:26,200 --> 00:37:30,600 My own recipe. Took me 1,200 years to get it right. 740 00:37:32,720 --> 00:37:34,200 1,200 years? 741 00:37:34,240 --> 00:37:35,600 That's right. 742 00:37:38,440 --> 00:37:42,680 You know, I must say, you look pretty good for your age. 743 00:37:42,760 --> 00:37:46,040 Thanks, but I'm seeing someone in wrapping. 744 00:37:47,840 --> 00:37:48,960 (GULPS) 745 00:37:49,040 --> 00:37:50,960 (WHISPERING) Okay. 746 00:37:51,160 --> 00:37:52,440 Mmm. 747 00:37:53,440 --> 00:37:54,600 Hmm. 748 00:37:54,720 --> 00:37:56,000 This is good. 749 00:37:57,040 --> 00:37:59,200 This is really good. 750 00:37:59,280 --> 00:38:04,400 Not too hot, extra chocolate, shaken, not stirred. 751 00:38:07,120 --> 00:38:09,120 You look distressed. 752 00:38:09,600 --> 00:38:12,480 Distressed? I'm way past distressed. 753 00:38:12,840 --> 00:38:14,480 Why's that? 754 00:38:14,600 --> 00:38:16,680 I'm talking to an elf! 755 00:38:16,760 --> 00:38:19,240 And I stopped believing in Santa Claus a long time ago. 756 00:38:19,280 --> 00:38:23,280 That's not surprising. Most grownups can't believe in magic. 757 00:38:23,360 --> 00:38:27,560 It just sort of grows out of them. 758 00:38:27,960 --> 00:38:30,640 Look, you're a nice little elf. 759 00:38:30,680 --> 00:38:31,880 Thanks. 760 00:38:31,960 --> 00:38:33,160 But this is a dream. 761 00:38:33,200 --> 00:38:35,280 I mean, this is fabulous. 762 00:38:35,320 --> 00:38:37,360 Is that a polar bear directing traffic down there? 763 00:38:37,440 --> 00:38:38,880 (BEAR GROWLS) 764 00:38:39,000 --> 00:38:42,600 (CHUCKLING) I see it, but I don't believe it. 765 00:38:42,640 --> 00:38:45,000 (LAUGHS) You're missing the point. 766 00:38:45,640 --> 00:38:46,720 What is the point? 767 00:38:46,840 --> 00:38:49,520 Seeing isn't believing, believing is seeing. 768 00:38:49,600 --> 00:38:53,520 Kids don't have to see this place to know that it's here. 769 00:38:53,640 --> 00:38:56,320 They just know. 770 00:38:58,680 --> 00:39:02,680 Well, you should get some rest. Good night, sir. 771 00:39:38,000 --> 00:39:39,960 CHARLIE: Dad! 772 00:39:40,840 --> 00:39:42,400 Dad! 773 00:39:45,000 --> 00:39:46,920 Wake up, sleepy! 774 00:39:47,000 --> 00:39:48,920 Come on, get up! 775 00:39:50,720 --> 00:39:52,520 Dad! SCOTT: Mmm. 776 00:39:52,880 --> 00:39:54,560 Dad! (GRUNTS) 777 00:39:54,880 --> 00:39:56,600 Dad! (GROANS) 778 00:39:57,200 --> 00:39:58,280 (RAPID FOOTSTEPS APPROACHING) 779 00:39:58,360 --> 00:40:01,080 Come on, Dad, come on! 780 00:40:01,120 --> 00:40:03,080 (GROANING) See all the neat toys! 781 00:40:03,160 --> 00:40:04,240 Stop shaking me, Charlie. 782 00:40:04,320 --> 00:40:05,400 Come on, get up, get up! 783 00:40:05,440 --> 00:40:06,480 Okay. 784 00:40:06,560 --> 00:40:07,760 Come on, it's Christmas morning. 785 00:40:07,840 --> 00:40:10,120 Great! Go make some coffee. 786 00:40:10,200 --> 00:40:11,280 Come on, Dad, let's go! 787 00:40:11,360 --> 00:40:13,080 Okay. 788 00:40:16,760 --> 00:40:18,240 (SOFT GROANING) 789 00:40:32,280 --> 00:40:33,760 (SNIFFS) 790 00:40:38,280 --> 00:40:39,920 (BELLS JINGLING) 791 00:40:40,000 --> 00:40:41,520 (YAWNS) 792 00:41:29,280 --> 00:41:31,000 (EXHALES) 793 00:41:34,520 --> 00:41:35,600 Are you okay, Dad? 794 00:41:35,680 --> 00:41:37,480 Yeah. Just fine, just fine. 795 00:41:37,800 --> 00:41:40,760 Are you having a heart attack? I know CPR. 796 00:41:40,840 --> 00:41:43,120 No, I was just... 797 00:41:44,160 --> 00:41:45,640 S.C. 798 00:41:45,680 --> 00:41:47,360 Yeah, Santa Claus. 799 00:41:47,680 --> 00:41:51,600 Hey. Same initials as your name, Dad. 800 00:41:51,680 --> 00:41:54,120 Scott Calvin. 801 00:41:54,160 --> 00:41:56,160 (DOORBELL RINGS) What? 802 00:42:00,720 --> 00:42:03,720 LAURA: Oh, Charlie! Merry Christmas, honey. 803 00:42:03,800 --> 00:42:05,040 Did you have a good time? 804 00:42:05,120 --> 00:42:06,600 Great time! The best! 805 00:42:06,680 --> 00:42:11,600 Great. Scott, nice P.J.s. Very festive. 806 00:42:11,680 --> 00:42:13,000 Where'd you get them? 807 00:42:13,360 --> 00:42:14,400 I don't know. 808 00:42:15,080 --> 00:42:16,640 Judy gave them to you. 809 00:42:17,000 --> 00:42:18,400 Judy. Really. 810 00:42:18,520 --> 00:42:19,600 Who? 811 00:42:19,680 --> 00:42:21,160 Up at the North Pole. 812 00:42:21,200 --> 00:42:23,160 Ah. One of Santa's little helpers. 813 00:42:23,200 --> 00:42:27,360 Last night, Dad and me went with the flying reindeer. 814 00:42:27,440 --> 00:42:30,760 It was really neat, Mom. Dad was Santa, 815 00:42:30,840 --> 00:42:32,600 and Larry showed me the workshop. 816 00:42:32,680 --> 00:42:34,360 You know, where they make all the toys? 817 00:42:34,400 --> 00:42:37,280 Gee, thanks for keeping his feet on the ground. 818 00:42:37,360 --> 00:42:38,440 You bet. 819 00:42:38,520 --> 00:42:41,960 Honey, you go wait in the car for a minute. I'll be right there. 820 00:42:42,840 --> 00:42:44,000 Merry Christmas. 821 00:42:44,080 --> 00:42:46,760 Bye, Dad. Thanks for a great night at the North Pole. 822 00:42:46,840 --> 00:42:48,120 (BOTH CHUCKLING) (DOOR OPENS) 823 00:42:48,560 --> 00:42:49,840 (DOOR CLOSES) 824 00:42:49,920 --> 00:42:51,520 So... 825 00:42:51,560 --> 00:42:53,000 What have you been telling him? 826 00:42:53,400 --> 00:42:54,920 Nothing. 827 00:42:54,960 --> 00:42:58,760 It's just... I had this really strange dream 828 00:42:58,800 --> 00:43:00,880 and I must've told him all about it. 829 00:43:02,400 --> 00:43:03,640 Wait. 830 00:43:06,280 --> 00:43:07,600 Charlie. Scott. 831 00:43:07,680 --> 00:43:09,440 Hi, Dad. Nice jammies. 832 00:43:09,480 --> 00:43:12,080 Thanks. About what you said in the house... 833 00:43:12,120 --> 00:43:13,920 Who showed you the workshop? The elf. 834 00:43:14,240 --> 00:43:15,600 How'd I get the pajamas? 835 00:43:15,640 --> 00:43:17,200 I told you. Judy. 836 00:43:17,600 --> 00:43:18,920 SCOTT: Oh, wait, wait. 837 00:43:18,960 --> 00:43:22,440 Judy was the name of the waitress at the restaurant last night. 838 00:43:22,560 --> 00:43:24,320 Some waitress gave you pajamas? 839 00:43:24,760 --> 00:43:26,280 What's this all about? 840 00:43:26,320 --> 00:43:29,520 Dad took me to the North Pole, and Larry showed me the workshop. 841 00:43:29,600 --> 00:43:31,040 The North Pole! 842 00:43:31,160 --> 00:43:32,600 Yeah. Dad's the new Santa. 843 00:43:33,400 --> 00:43:36,600 The regular Santa fell off the roof and Dad put on the suit. 844 00:43:37,280 --> 00:43:39,960 Charlie, we'll discuss this at home. 845 00:43:40,640 --> 00:43:41,960 (BOTH CHUCKLE) 846 00:43:46,480 --> 00:43:49,360 The clause. The Santa Clause. 847 00:43:49,520 --> 00:43:50,760 (CAR DOOR CLOSES) 848 00:43:51,080 --> 00:43:52,680 (ENGINE STARTS) It's just a dream. 849 00:43:52,760 --> 00:43:54,480 Stuff like that doesn't happen. 850 00:43:54,520 --> 00:43:56,920 It was a dream. Come on! 851 00:43:58,240 --> 00:44:03,360 I don't even wear pajamas. Normally I sleep naked. Buck naked! Ha! 852 00:44:03,440 --> 00:44:04,880 Morning, Mrs. McGloin. Mary Catherine. 853 00:44:04,960 --> 00:44:06,720 MRS. McGLOIN: Eyes front, Mary Catherine! 854 00:44:06,800 --> 00:44:08,960 Sometimes boxer shorts. You know. (CHUCKLES) 855 00:44:09,760 --> 00:44:11,360 So, remember, kids, 856 00:44:11,440 --> 00:44:14,920 there is nothing more painful than third degree burns. 857 00:44:18,120 --> 00:44:21,320 Well, thank you, Fireman O'Hara. 858 00:44:21,360 --> 00:44:24,560 And I think the whole class will join me in saying 859 00:44:24,680 --> 00:44:26,840 sorry about your partner. 860 00:44:28,240 --> 00:44:29,640 (SIGHS) 861 00:44:29,920 --> 00:44:33,800 Well, perhaps this is a good time to bring up the psychiatrist. 862 00:44:33,840 --> 00:44:38,240 Charlie, would you like to introduce your... 863 00:44:38,360 --> 00:44:39,360 (STAMMERING) 864 00:44:39,440 --> 00:44:40,760 Dr. Miller! (CHUCKLES) 865 00:44:41,680 --> 00:44:44,640 Can I ask Dad to go first? 866 00:44:44,680 --> 00:44:47,360 Well, if that's how you feel, Charlie. 867 00:44:47,400 --> 00:44:51,840 That's how he feels, Neal. Come on. Nice sweater, buddy. 868 00:44:54,600 --> 00:44:56,600 This is my dad, Scott Calvin. 869 00:44:56,680 --> 00:44:58,640 He's got a really neat job. 870 00:44:58,680 --> 00:44:59,920 Thank you, Charlie. 871 00:45:00,000 --> 00:45:02,360 My dad is Santa Claus. 872 00:45:02,400 --> 00:45:03,720 (CHILDREN LAUGHING) 873 00:45:03,800 --> 00:45:05,000 Oh, boy. (LAUGHS) 874 00:45:05,600 --> 00:45:09,200 I think what he means is, I'm like Santa Claus. 875 00:45:09,720 --> 00:45:12,560 We're both giving, we're both jolly, 876 00:45:12,640 --> 00:45:16,320 and we both work very hard one day a year. (CHUCKLES) 877 00:45:16,400 --> 00:45:18,080 Oh, boy! 878 00:45:18,200 --> 00:45:20,000 That's not what I mean, Dad. 879 00:45:20,040 --> 00:45:23,480 Look, on Christmas Eve, my dad pushed Santa off the roof. 880 00:45:23,560 --> 00:45:25,200 No, Charlie. Santa disappeared 881 00:45:25,240 --> 00:45:26,800 and my dad took his place. SCOTT: Charlie! 882 00:45:26,880 --> 00:45:29,640 Then I went with him to deliver all the presents. 883 00:45:29,720 --> 00:45:33,080 Then the reindeer flew us to the North Pole where the head elf 884 00:45:33,160 --> 00:45:36,120 Bernard gave me this. Charlie... 885 00:45:36,200 --> 00:45:38,320 Look, I work for a toy company. 886 00:45:38,440 --> 00:45:40,600 I deliver toys all over the country. 887 00:45:40,680 --> 00:45:43,920 So, in a way, I'm like Santa Claus. 888 00:45:44,960 --> 00:45:46,280 Yes, sweetheart? 889 00:45:46,400 --> 00:45:47,800 Do you make the toys? 890 00:45:47,880 --> 00:45:50,160 No, stupid, the elves do! 891 00:45:50,240 --> 00:45:52,280 Bobby, we don't say "stupid," 892 00:45:52,360 --> 00:45:55,960 and we don't say "elves." They're "little people." 893 00:45:56,040 --> 00:45:58,440 No, but they really are elves. 894 00:45:58,480 --> 00:46:00,160 Whatever, honey. 895 00:46:00,320 --> 00:46:02,000 Which one's your favorite reindeer? 896 00:46:02,080 --> 00:46:03,120 Comet. 897 00:46:04,280 --> 00:46:06,400 I don't have a favorite. 898 00:46:06,440 --> 00:46:09,360 So, let me get this straight, Santa. 899 00:46:09,440 --> 00:46:12,400 You mean, when I grow up, if I wanna be Santa Claus, 900 00:46:12,440 --> 00:46:14,720 all I gotta do is push you off a roof? 901 00:46:14,760 --> 00:46:17,600 SCOTT: He said that it was the best Christmas he ever had? 902 00:46:17,680 --> 00:46:18,680 LAURA: Oh, big surprise! 903 00:46:18,760 --> 00:46:21,400 It's just nice to hear it from him. Is that a problem with you? 904 00:46:21,440 --> 00:46:24,280 All right. So? 905 00:46:24,320 --> 00:46:27,520 May I speak, please? I am a doctor. 906 00:46:27,600 --> 00:46:30,000 (WHISPERING) No, he's not. He's a psychiatrist. 907 00:46:30,080 --> 00:46:33,440 Please. Go ahead, Dr. Miller. 908 00:46:33,520 --> 00:46:35,760 I guess we know who's the teacher's pet. 909 00:46:35,800 --> 00:46:38,280 Scott! Oh, grow up. 910 00:46:38,320 --> 00:46:41,800 The reason we're here is that this is far more serious 911 00:46:41,840 --> 00:46:45,000 than a boy believing or not believing in Santa Claus. 912 00:46:45,080 --> 00:46:46,840 That's right, because Charlie thinks 913 00:46:46,920 --> 00:46:48,640 that this whole thing actually happened. 914 00:46:48,680 --> 00:46:52,880 Scott, what was the last thing you and Charlie did 915 00:46:52,960 --> 00:46:55,160 before you went to bed Christmas Eve? 916 00:46:55,200 --> 00:46:59,000 We shared a bowl of sugar, did some shots of brown liquor, 917 00:46:59,080 --> 00:47:01,920 played with my shotguns, field dressed a cat, 918 00:47:02,800 --> 00:47:04,960 looked for women. 919 00:47:05,760 --> 00:47:07,360 I read him a book! 920 00:47:07,440 --> 00:47:08,640 What book? 921 00:47:08,760 --> 00:47:09,960 Hollywood Wives. 922 00:47:10,520 --> 00:47:13,120 The Night Before Christmas, folks. Come on! 923 00:47:13,160 --> 00:47:15,960 And did you go to the North Pole? 924 00:47:16,040 --> 00:47:17,680 This is ridiculous. I don't have time for this. 925 00:47:17,760 --> 00:47:20,680 Ridiculous or not, Scott, 926 00:47:20,760 --> 00:47:23,840 for Charlie, this isn't some dream, it is real. 927 00:47:23,880 --> 00:47:25,640 You need to sit down with Charlie. 928 00:47:25,680 --> 00:47:29,000 Explain to him you are not Santa Claus. 929 00:47:30,360 --> 00:47:32,720 CHARLIE: They're like the bears at the North Pole, Dad. 930 00:47:32,800 --> 00:47:34,680 SCOTT: Charlie, I already told you, 931 00:47:34,720 --> 00:47:36,520 we did not go to the North Pole. 932 00:47:36,600 --> 00:47:37,720 That was a dream. 933 00:47:37,840 --> 00:47:39,240 You're in denial, Dad. 934 00:47:39,320 --> 00:47:41,040 Denial! You don't even know what that means. 935 00:47:41,120 --> 00:47:44,400 Well, you are. I know what happened. 936 00:47:44,480 --> 00:47:48,240 How do you know that? How? You don't have any proof. 937 00:47:48,800 --> 00:47:49,840 Proof? 938 00:47:49,880 --> 00:47:53,120 Why can't we both think of it as just a great dream and forget about it? 939 00:47:53,200 --> 00:47:57,000 What about this? Remember all the neat stuff inside? 940 00:47:57,400 --> 00:48:01,160 Charlie, this is a toy. 941 00:48:01,200 --> 00:48:03,120 We used to make things like this at work, 942 00:48:03,200 --> 00:48:05,040 but no one bought 'em. 943 00:48:05,360 --> 00:48:07,880 Here. I don't want to talk about this anymore. 944 00:48:08,960 --> 00:48:10,680 I know who you are, Dad. 945 00:48:10,720 --> 00:48:13,200 You'll figure it out soon enough. 946 00:48:13,240 --> 00:48:16,400 There are a lot of kids that believe in you. 947 00:48:16,440 --> 00:48:18,000 You can't let them down. 948 00:48:18,080 --> 00:48:20,480 Charlie, you're wrong. 949 00:48:21,760 --> 00:48:23,080 (REINDEER MOANING) 950 00:48:26,280 --> 00:48:27,320 (GIGGLING) 951 00:48:27,400 --> 00:48:28,480 What's so funny? 952 00:48:28,960 --> 00:48:30,400 Nothing. 953 00:48:35,240 --> 00:48:36,760 (CHRISTMAS SONG PLAYING) 954 00:48:37,280 --> 00:48:39,880 ♪ He sees you when you're sleeping 955 00:48:39,920 --> 00:48:41,320 ♪ He knows when you're awake 956 00:48:41,440 --> 00:48:42,600 (CHARLIE GIGGLING) 957 00:48:42,680 --> 00:48:45,520 ♪ He knows if you've been bad or good 958 00:48:45,600 --> 00:48:47,720 ♪ Rollin'. Keep those reindeer rollin' 959 00:48:47,760 --> 00:48:51,680 ♪ Okay! You better watch out You better not cry 960 00:48:51,760 --> 00:48:53,880 Come on, Dancer. Come on, Prancer. 961 00:48:53,920 --> 00:48:55,440 ♪ Santa Claus is coming to town Whoa. 962 00:48:55,520 --> 00:48:56,560 We can't stop. 963 00:48:56,600 --> 00:48:59,720 (IN SQUEAKY VOICE) But I have to go to the bathroom! 964 00:48:59,760 --> 00:49:03,160 I told you, should've gone before we left the North Pole. 965 00:49:03,240 --> 00:49:05,000 ♪ ...and rummy tum-tums 966 00:49:06,400 --> 00:49:07,520 CHARLIE: Whoa. 967 00:49:07,600 --> 00:49:10,480 Right here. Turn over here. 968 00:49:10,560 --> 00:49:13,120 ♪ Curly-haired dolls that toddle and coo 969 00:49:13,160 --> 00:49:16,240 ♪ Elephant spokes and kiddie cars, too ♪ 970 00:49:22,840 --> 00:49:23,880 Where is he? 971 00:49:23,960 --> 00:49:27,520 Well, he could be in his room jumping up and down on his bed, 972 00:49:27,600 --> 00:49:29,480 wearing a red hat and galoshes. 973 00:49:29,520 --> 00:49:32,240 I don't care what Neal's doing. Where's Charlie? 974 00:49:32,320 --> 00:49:34,600 (LAUGHS) Oh, I see, I see. 975 00:49:34,640 --> 00:49:35,960 Well, if you can't be father of the year, 976 00:49:36,040 --> 00:49:37,520 why not be Father Christmas, huh? 977 00:49:38,240 --> 00:49:41,040 NEAL: Charlie, it's just not logical. 978 00:49:41,120 --> 00:49:44,120 How can one man, in one night, 979 00:49:45,160 --> 00:49:47,240 visit all the children of the world? 980 00:49:47,320 --> 00:49:49,320 Not everyone celebrates Christmas. 981 00:49:49,360 --> 00:49:52,000 And I think there's some sort of time continuum 982 00:49:52,040 --> 00:49:54,720 that breaks down once Santa's in his sleigh. 983 00:49:54,800 --> 00:50:00,160 What about fireplaces? A lot of people don't have them. 984 00:50:00,760 --> 00:50:03,080 How does Santa visit those people? 985 00:50:03,680 --> 00:50:05,800 He turns into Jell-O and... (SLURPING) 986 00:50:05,840 --> 00:50:09,640 The fireplace kind of appears and he goes through it like this. 987 00:50:09,680 --> 00:50:13,360 What about the reindeer? 988 00:50:14,000 --> 00:50:17,440 Have you ever seen a reindeer fly? 989 00:50:17,520 --> 00:50:19,400 Yes. Well, I haven't. 990 00:50:19,480 --> 00:50:20,520 (DOOR OPENS) 991 00:50:20,560 --> 00:50:22,360 Have you ever seen $1 million? 992 00:50:22,440 --> 00:50:23,560 No. 993 00:50:23,640 --> 00:50:24,720 (DOOR CLOSES) 994 00:50:24,800 --> 00:50:26,880 Just because you haven't seen it 995 00:50:26,960 --> 00:50:29,080 doesn't mean it doesn't exist. 996 00:50:29,160 --> 00:50:31,480 Hi, Neal. Howdy, sport. 997 00:50:31,520 --> 00:50:33,040 Hi, Dad. You wanna take a walk? 998 00:50:33,080 --> 00:50:34,160 I wanna talk to you. 999 00:50:34,200 --> 00:50:35,560 Sure. I'll get my coat. 1000 00:50:35,680 --> 00:50:37,120 Okay, hustle up. 1001 00:50:37,400 --> 00:50:40,680 Scott? Can I have a minute? 1002 00:50:40,720 --> 00:50:42,200 Sure. 1003 00:50:43,640 --> 00:50:46,400 I think Charlie is conflicted at the moment. 1004 00:50:47,320 --> 00:50:49,360 Wow. Really? 1005 00:50:49,360 --> 00:50:51,720 (WHISTLES) Boy. Hmm. 1006 00:50:51,760 --> 00:50:54,000 Appreciate your analysis, I really do. 1007 00:50:54,040 --> 00:50:58,000 Boy, you got more important things to worry about, you know. 1008 00:50:58,040 --> 00:50:59,320 Like, where are you gonna get more sweaters 1009 00:50:59,400 --> 00:51:01,040 after the circus pulls out of town? 1010 00:51:01,160 --> 00:51:02,600 (INHALES DEEPLY) 1011 00:51:02,680 --> 00:51:06,800 Scott! I mean, you're not listening. 1012 00:51:06,880 --> 00:51:09,000 We are very concerned about this. 1013 00:51:09,120 --> 00:51:11,240 Concerned about what? 1014 00:51:11,560 --> 00:51:13,040 (STAMMERING) This... 1015 00:51:13,080 --> 00:51:16,160 If Charlie spending time with you is the best thing for him. 1016 00:51:23,400 --> 00:51:24,720 (CLICKS TONGUE) 1017 00:51:25,560 --> 00:51:28,480 You were right about the sweater, okay? 1018 00:51:31,000 --> 00:51:32,080 Do you think by next year 1019 00:51:32,120 --> 00:51:34,120 I'll be big enough to drive the sleigh all by myself? 1020 00:51:34,200 --> 00:51:35,600 No! 1021 00:51:35,640 --> 00:51:37,200 But I've been practicing. 1022 00:51:37,320 --> 00:51:38,840 No, that's not what I'm talking about. 1023 00:51:38,920 --> 00:51:40,000 Charlie, hold on a second. 1024 00:51:40,080 --> 00:51:42,080 We've got to talk about this Santa Claus thing. 1025 00:51:47,320 --> 00:51:49,400 Charlie, there is no... 1026 00:51:51,920 --> 00:51:53,160 No what, Dad? 1027 00:51:56,960 --> 00:51:59,600 There's no reason 1028 00:51:59,680 --> 00:52:02,120 why we have to tell anybody about the North Pole. 1029 00:52:02,200 --> 00:52:03,800 Why not? 1030 00:52:03,840 --> 00:52:07,440 Well, sometimes some things, big things, 1031 00:52:07,960 --> 00:52:12,280 should remain unsaid, like between two people... 1032 00:52:12,400 --> 00:52:13,880 Oh, you mean like a secret. 1033 00:52:14,560 --> 00:52:17,440 Yes. Like a secret. Let's keep it secret. 1034 00:52:17,480 --> 00:52:18,960 How come? 1035 00:52:20,320 --> 00:52:23,480 Because of Mom and Neal. 1036 00:52:23,520 --> 00:52:26,320 Not just because of them. There's school. 1037 00:52:26,360 --> 00:52:29,160 Everybody thinks... No, it's not important what they think. 1038 00:52:29,240 --> 00:52:30,880 It... 1039 00:52:32,600 --> 00:52:34,640 How does five bucks sound to ya? 1040 00:52:36,240 --> 00:52:40,080 This is something I really want you to do for me, sport. 1041 00:52:40,160 --> 00:52:44,880 I want to keep this secret. Will ya do that, please? 1042 00:52:45,000 --> 00:52:46,440 Okay, Dad. 1043 00:52:47,520 --> 00:52:48,480 All right. 1044 00:52:48,560 --> 00:52:50,240 Great. 1045 00:52:51,560 --> 00:52:55,240 You don't have to worry about the Santa Claus thing anymore. 1046 00:52:56,320 --> 00:52:58,680 So when do I get the five bucks? 1047 00:52:58,720 --> 00:53:02,840 MAN ON RADIO: ...15 in the morning. It's gonna be a beautiful day. 1048 00:53:03,760 --> 00:53:05,680 (RADIO CONTINUES INDISTINCTLY) 1049 00:53:05,720 --> 00:53:09,400 Spend the day with me, Larry B. 1050 00:53:10,280 --> 00:53:11,840 (FARTING) 1051 00:53:12,000 --> 00:53:13,440 (SIGHING) Oof! 1052 00:53:16,160 --> 00:53:17,440 (YAWNING) 1053 00:53:19,160 --> 00:53:20,440 (SCREAMS) 1054 00:53:22,840 --> 00:53:23,960 Huh? 1055 00:53:28,080 --> 00:53:29,200 (GROANS) 1056 00:53:31,880 --> 00:53:34,400 Something's wrong with the mirror. (CHUCKLING) 1057 00:53:36,480 --> 00:53:37,800 (MUMBLING) 1058 00:53:37,880 --> 00:53:38,960 What? 1059 00:53:39,720 --> 00:53:41,600 Something's wrong with the scale! 1060 00:53:42,960 --> 00:53:44,280 (SCREAMS) 1061 00:53:44,920 --> 00:53:46,240 (ELEVATOR DINGS) 1062 00:53:46,560 --> 00:53:49,240 Excuse me, excuse me. 1063 00:53:49,320 --> 00:53:53,080 I'll have a field green salad and... Oh, my God. 1064 00:53:54,560 --> 00:53:55,560 MAN: What the... 1065 00:53:55,720 --> 00:53:56,720 WOMAN: What? Scott? 1066 00:53:57,480 --> 00:53:58,520 (SIGHING) 1067 00:53:58,560 --> 00:54:00,040 MR. WHITTLE: Calvin? 1068 00:54:02,240 --> 00:54:03,560 (CHUCKLING) 1069 00:54:03,680 --> 00:54:07,520 Sorry, the dry cleaner in my neighborhood 1070 00:54:07,600 --> 00:54:09,600 went up in smoke, some big chemical fire. 1071 00:54:09,680 --> 00:54:12,040 All my clothes, poof, gone. 1072 00:54:12,080 --> 00:54:14,840 God. Your... Your weight. 1073 00:54:15,600 --> 00:54:17,760 What happened? 1074 00:54:18,800 --> 00:54:21,760 Bee sting. Evidently, I'm allergic. 1075 00:54:22,760 --> 00:54:26,920 Almost killed me. But the guy at the emergency room says 1076 00:54:26,960 --> 00:54:29,520 the swelling will go down. 1077 00:54:29,600 --> 00:54:32,960 I hope. So, did I miss anything? 1078 00:54:32,960 --> 00:54:35,440 No, we were just about to order lunch. 1079 00:54:35,480 --> 00:54:37,600 Great! I'm starving. 1080 00:54:37,680 --> 00:54:41,400 I'll have a salad and ice tea and dressing on the side. 1081 00:54:41,440 --> 00:54:45,760 Pasta and tomatoes and very light on the oil. Can you do that? 1082 00:54:45,800 --> 00:54:48,200 And I'll have a Caesar. No dressing. 1083 00:54:49,000 --> 00:54:50,240 And one of those homemade cookies, 1084 00:54:50,280 --> 00:54:51,520 the warm chocolate chip. No nuts. 1085 00:54:51,600 --> 00:54:54,960 And a little slice of cheesecake, creme brulee, 1086 00:54:55,040 --> 00:54:57,800 and hot fudge sundae, extra hot fudge. 1087 00:55:01,000 --> 00:55:02,960 On the side. 1088 00:55:03,000 --> 00:55:04,360 Anything to drink? 1089 00:55:05,000 --> 00:55:06,640 Ice-cold milk. 1090 00:55:07,480 --> 00:55:09,640 Stung by a bee, Scott? 1091 00:55:10,560 --> 00:55:12,240 A big bee. 1092 00:55:22,920 --> 00:55:24,560 (SPOON CLATTERING) 1093 00:55:29,600 --> 00:55:30,800 Finished? 1094 00:55:36,760 --> 00:55:40,120 Okay, now, remember. This is just a storyboard. 1095 00:55:41,240 --> 00:55:43,440 But here is our 1096 00:55:43,520 --> 00:55:47,080 preliminary Total Tank TV spot. 1097 00:55:47,200 --> 00:55:50,200 Okay, now, we've got Santa. He's up in the North Pole. 1098 00:55:50,240 --> 00:55:54,360 He's getting ready for Christmas! 1099 00:55:54,440 --> 00:55:56,480 Oh, no. 1100 00:55:56,880 --> 00:55:58,040 Problem? 1101 00:55:58,200 --> 00:56:01,280 It's just a little thing. The elves. 1102 00:56:02,120 --> 00:56:03,400 What about the elves? 1103 00:56:03,480 --> 00:56:05,160 They look so funny. 1104 00:56:05,200 --> 00:56:08,400 They're supposed to look funny. They're elves. 1105 00:56:08,760 --> 00:56:10,160 SCOTT: Just my opinion. 1106 00:56:10,200 --> 00:56:12,280 Can't they look a little younger 1107 00:56:12,360 --> 00:56:14,360 with silver specks on their cheeks? 1108 00:56:14,960 --> 00:56:17,360 Can we continue here? 1109 00:56:17,440 --> 00:56:21,440 Okay, now this year, Santa's not going out in a sleigh. 1110 00:56:21,520 --> 00:56:25,760 This time he's going Total Tank! 1111 00:56:25,840 --> 00:56:27,440 Wait a minute! No way! 1112 00:56:27,520 --> 00:56:29,720 No way Santa's going anywhere without his sleigh. 1113 00:56:29,800 --> 00:56:32,320 He would if he's trying to sell the Total Tank. 1114 00:56:32,400 --> 00:56:34,720 Well, isn't that a pretty picture? 1115 00:56:34,800 --> 00:56:37,360 Santa rolling down the block in a panzer. 1116 00:56:37,400 --> 00:56:40,720 Well, kids, I certainly hope you've been good this year. 1117 00:56:40,760 --> 00:56:43,400 'Cause it looks like Santa just took out the Pearson home. 1118 00:56:43,480 --> 00:56:45,120 Incoming! WOMAN: Oh, please. 1119 00:56:45,200 --> 00:56:47,400 And another thing. What about the reindeer? 1120 00:56:47,680 --> 00:56:49,920 Reindeer and Santa. Santa and reindeer. 1121 00:56:50,000 --> 00:56:51,560 It's kind of a package deal. 1122 00:56:51,680 --> 00:56:53,040 Calvin. 1123 00:56:53,160 --> 00:56:54,560 You don't believe in Santa, do you? 1124 00:56:54,560 --> 00:56:57,520 Calvin, can we get back to the presentation? 1125 00:56:57,600 --> 00:56:58,680 I'm not done yet. 1126 00:56:58,760 --> 00:57:00,080 Since we've opened this box, 1127 00:57:00,160 --> 00:57:02,400 have any of you tried to build the Total Tank? 1128 00:57:02,480 --> 00:57:05,080 It's got 10,000 parts, and even if you do get it together, 1129 00:57:05,120 --> 00:57:06,760 it breaks 10 minutes later. 1130 00:57:06,840 --> 00:57:08,480 Then you got to spend more money to buy more parts. 1131 00:57:08,560 --> 00:57:09,840 I thought that was the whole point. 1132 00:57:09,920 --> 00:57:11,440 No, no, no, no. 1133 00:57:11,760 --> 00:57:16,280 What we got to do is develop a basic, simple, inexpensive toy 1134 00:57:16,360 --> 00:57:18,760 that will nurture a child's creative thinking. 1135 00:57:18,800 --> 00:57:20,160 Calvin... 1136 00:57:20,440 --> 00:57:21,760 Here, try the brown ones. 1137 00:57:22,240 --> 00:57:24,320 Can I see you outside a minute? 1138 00:57:30,800 --> 00:57:33,120 I don't know what's happening to you. 1139 00:57:33,200 --> 00:57:36,240 You're starting to look like the Pillsbury Doughboy. 1140 00:57:36,280 --> 00:57:37,520 You're falling apart. 1141 00:57:37,640 --> 00:57:39,320 I know! I know. 1142 00:57:40,480 --> 00:57:41,960 I don't know what came over me. 1143 00:57:42,000 --> 00:57:46,320 Just get some help. You should see a doctor, a shrink. 1144 00:57:46,400 --> 00:57:49,200 A dietitian, anything. Just get some help. 1145 00:57:53,960 --> 00:57:55,480 (PANTING) 1146 00:58:05,360 --> 00:58:06,720 (CHUCKLING) 1147 00:58:12,480 --> 00:58:14,160 Okay, Scott. The time is up. 1148 00:58:14,240 --> 00:58:15,240 Whew! 1149 00:58:15,320 --> 00:58:16,400 Get over here and check your pulse. 1150 00:58:16,480 --> 00:58:17,800 All right. 1151 00:58:20,040 --> 00:58:22,280 Okay? Hmm. 1152 00:58:23,600 --> 00:58:24,880 Ah. 1153 00:58:26,320 --> 00:58:27,440 Ah. 1154 00:58:28,560 --> 00:58:30,680 Well, nuts. I... 1155 00:58:30,720 --> 00:58:33,200 Oh, no, your pulse is great. 1156 00:58:33,280 --> 00:58:36,000 I don't know, Scott. You're as healthy as a horse. 1157 00:58:36,080 --> 00:58:38,760 Yeah. Clydesdale. 1158 00:58:38,840 --> 00:58:42,200 Okay, look. So, what? You put on a little weight. 1159 00:58:42,280 --> 00:58:44,960 A little weight? Does this look like a little weight to you? 1160 00:58:45,040 --> 00:58:47,960 Weight can fluctuate from year to year. 1161 00:58:48,040 --> 00:58:51,360 Fluctuate? You make it sound like I'm retaining water. 1162 00:58:51,440 --> 00:58:54,440 I've gained 45 pounds in a week! 1163 00:58:54,520 --> 00:58:55,840 Pete, what's happening to me? 1164 00:58:55,880 --> 00:58:57,080 What's your diet like? 1165 00:58:57,200 --> 00:58:58,440 Milk and cookies. 1166 00:58:58,520 --> 00:59:00,720 Really? But I don't finish all the milk. 1167 00:59:00,800 --> 00:59:02,160 Well, then, there is your problem. 1168 00:59:02,200 --> 00:59:05,160 Just try to cut back on the sweets. Okay? 1169 00:59:06,320 --> 00:59:08,080 Anything else? 1170 00:59:08,160 --> 00:59:11,880 Yeah. How fast does hair grow? Facial hair? 1171 00:59:11,920 --> 00:59:13,880 What? 1172 00:59:13,920 --> 00:59:17,240 I shave in the morning and in the afternoon, I look like this. 1173 00:59:17,920 --> 00:59:22,240 Well, it could be a hormonal imbalance. 1174 00:59:22,280 --> 00:59:23,880 That would explain the mood swings. 1175 00:59:23,920 --> 00:59:24,960 Mood swings? 1176 00:59:25,360 --> 00:59:27,000 Look at my hair. It's turning gray. 1177 00:59:27,080 --> 00:59:29,160 It's middle age, buddy. It happens. 1178 00:59:29,240 --> 00:59:32,160 And with that body, you should be thankful you have hair. 1179 00:59:32,920 --> 00:59:36,280 Look, if it bothers you, you can dye it, and you should diet! 1180 00:59:36,360 --> 00:59:37,680 (BOTH LAUGHING) 1181 00:59:37,760 --> 00:59:39,040 Just kidding. 1182 00:59:39,080 --> 00:59:42,880 Okay, up with the shirt. Let's take a listen to the old ticker. 1183 00:59:42,920 --> 00:59:44,440 (LAUGHING) Whoa. 1184 00:59:44,560 --> 00:59:45,600 Okay. 1185 00:59:45,640 --> 00:59:46,720 Ooh. That's cold. 1186 00:59:47,320 --> 00:59:48,600 Ah. 1187 00:59:48,680 --> 00:59:50,200 (HEART BEATING TWICE) 1188 00:59:50,520 --> 00:59:52,040 (HEART BEATING TWICE) 1189 00:59:53,200 --> 00:59:54,680 (HEART BEATING THREE TIMES) 1190 00:59:54,760 --> 00:59:56,400 (HEART BEATING THREE TIMES) 1191 00:59:56,800 --> 00:59:58,760 (HEART BEATING RHYTHMICALLY) 1192 01:00:02,480 --> 01:00:03,960 (ALL SHOUTING) 1193 01:00:05,280 --> 01:00:06,600 Get it! 1194 01:00:36,480 --> 01:00:37,480 What? 1195 01:00:40,320 --> 01:00:43,480 I want some ballet slippers. 1196 01:01:01,520 --> 01:01:02,560 CHARLIE: Hi, Mom. 1197 01:01:02,640 --> 01:01:05,160 Oh, my God. Oh, my God. 1198 01:01:05,240 --> 01:01:06,320 Hold on now. 1199 01:01:06,360 --> 01:01:07,520 Wait a minute. Wait, I'm not done. 1200 01:01:07,640 --> 01:01:11,240 Fax me. Hi, hey. This probably looks pretty odd, doesn't it? 1201 01:01:11,680 --> 01:01:13,800 These kids lined up all by themselves. 1202 01:01:13,840 --> 01:01:16,640 Scott, I think it's safe to say 1203 01:01:16,680 --> 01:01:20,520 you're taking this Santa thing to an unhealthy level. 1204 01:01:20,600 --> 01:01:23,800 Here's my card. Call me. 1205 01:01:23,840 --> 01:01:26,640 Scott, I really have to tell you 1206 01:01:26,680 --> 01:01:28,280 that this is beginning to scare me. 1207 01:01:28,360 --> 01:01:31,920 I never in my wildest... Well, no, okay, maybe my wildest... 1208 01:01:32,040 --> 01:01:35,120 But certainly never in my normal dreams... 1209 01:01:35,200 --> 01:01:36,520 But then this is Scott we're talking about. 1210 01:01:36,560 --> 01:01:37,720 Laura, the point. 1211 01:01:37,840 --> 01:01:39,480 I never thought you would stoop 1212 01:01:39,520 --> 01:01:41,120 to changing your physical appearance 1213 01:01:41,200 --> 01:01:43,880 in order to make Charlie like you. 1214 01:01:43,960 --> 01:01:47,720 Do you have any concept of how dangerous this is to a little boy? 1215 01:01:47,760 --> 01:01:49,320 Whoa, whoa. "How dangerous"? 1216 01:01:49,360 --> 01:01:50,400 Mom, what's the matter? 1217 01:01:50,480 --> 01:01:52,040 Come on, Charlie. We're going home. 1218 01:01:52,080 --> 01:01:53,680 But we just started. 1219 01:01:53,720 --> 01:01:55,680 You let him stay. I'll go. 1220 01:01:55,720 --> 01:01:58,640 If you don't get your act together, Scott, so help me... 1221 01:01:58,720 --> 01:01:59,720 MAN: Watch it, folks. 1222 01:01:59,800 --> 01:02:01,480 Mom! I will just... 1223 01:02:07,320 --> 01:02:08,720 (DOOR BELL RINGING) 1224 01:02:11,640 --> 01:02:12,880 Hi, there. Hi. 1225 01:02:12,960 --> 01:02:14,720 I got a delivery for S.C. 1226 01:02:14,800 --> 01:02:15,800 You S.C.? 1227 01:02:15,920 --> 01:02:17,000 Scott Calvin, that's me. 1228 01:02:17,080 --> 01:02:19,000 Sign here, please. 1229 01:02:20,880 --> 01:02:22,560 (CHUCKLES) All right. 1230 01:02:22,640 --> 01:02:24,120 Thanks. I'll get your packages. 1231 01:02:24,200 --> 01:02:25,200 Packages? 1232 01:02:25,240 --> 01:02:26,360 Yeah. There's quite a few of them. 1233 01:02:26,400 --> 01:02:27,480 That's great. 1234 01:02:27,600 --> 01:02:30,000 I'll leave the door open. Just leave them inside here. 1235 01:02:30,080 --> 01:02:31,520 Will do. 1236 01:02:33,440 --> 01:02:35,160 (WHISTLING) 1237 01:03:05,000 --> 01:03:06,280 It's the list! 1238 01:03:16,960 --> 01:03:19,040 "Armand Assante"? 1239 01:03:19,280 --> 01:03:20,480 Yo! 1240 01:03:21,360 --> 01:03:22,480 (ENGINE STARTING) 1241 01:03:22,520 --> 01:03:25,880 Hold it! Hold... Oh! Hold it! 1242 01:03:25,960 --> 01:03:28,680 You! You! Take that... Come on! Come on! 1243 01:03:28,760 --> 01:03:29,800 (HORN HONKING) Stay away from the truck. 1244 01:03:29,880 --> 01:03:33,800 What am I supposed to do with all these packages, guys? Come on! 1245 01:03:34,760 --> 01:03:35,880 (GROANS) 1246 01:03:38,960 --> 01:03:40,360 You know, I knew it. 1247 01:03:40,440 --> 01:03:43,400 I knew that something was going on. I just... 1248 01:03:44,160 --> 01:03:46,040 What I can't believe is that he would 1249 01:03:46,120 --> 01:03:48,280 go behind our backs all this time, 1250 01:03:48,320 --> 01:03:51,000 confusing Charlie again just... 1251 01:03:52,400 --> 01:03:56,920 I... What are we supposed to do? 1252 01:03:57,000 --> 01:03:59,680 Well, there's one obvious alternative. 1253 01:04:04,520 --> 01:04:06,120 Okay. 1254 01:04:11,280 --> 01:04:12,720 Annie, nice. 1255 01:04:12,840 --> 01:04:14,360 Beep! 1256 01:04:14,400 --> 01:04:15,760 Johnny, naughty. 1257 01:04:15,880 --> 01:04:17,280 Johnny, wait up! 1258 01:04:17,360 --> 01:04:19,680 Gary, nice. (CHUCKLING) 1259 01:04:19,720 --> 01:04:21,680 Veronica, very nice. 1260 01:04:22,360 --> 01:04:24,680 In your dreams, sleigh boy. 1261 01:04:24,960 --> 01:04:25,960 Hmm? 1262 01:04:29,160 --> 01:04:30,480 (SIGHING) 1263 01:04:51,720 --> 01:04:53,760 I'm in big trouble. Mmm-hmm. 1264 01:04:54,640 --> 01:04:55,800 Thank you. 1265 01:04:55,880 --> 01:04:57,320 (PHONE RINGING) 1266 01:04:57,880 --> 01:05:00,880 WOMAN: Judge Wayland's office. 1267 01:05:01,000 --> 01:05:04,240 Charlie, do you mind if I talk to you for a minute? 1268 01:05:04,320 --> 01:05:07,040 It's okay, honey. Come on. 1269 01:05:09,760 --> 01:05:11,400 We won't be long. 1270 01:05:16,440 --> 01:05:20,120 Are we doing the right thing, Neal? 1271 01:05:20,200 --> 01:05:21,440 Something needs to shake Scott. 1272 01:05:21,560 --> 01:05:22,600 Yeah, but... 1273 01:05:22,640 --> 01:05:25,720 But to take away his visitation rights. 1274 01:05:25,760 --> 01:05:28,240 Honey, the man is delusional. 1275 01:05:28,320 --> 01:05:29,320 Okay, okay. 1276 01:05:29,400 --> 01:05:32,760 So maybe I'm having second thoughts, kind of. I just... 1277 01:05:32,840 --> 01:05:36,240 I mean, what was so bad about Charlie believing in Santa? 1278 01:05:36,280 --> 01:05:38,440 Well, he's a little old. 1279 01:05:39,600 --> 01:05:40,760 Oh, come on, Laura. 1280 01:05:40,840 --> 01:05:43,520 Don't you remember when you stopped believing in Santa Claus? 1281 01:05:44,760 --> 01:05:48,440 I was Charlie's age, I guess. 1282 01:05:49,360 --> 01:05:52,800 I wrote Santa a letter every week that year. 1283 01:05:55,320 --> 01:06:00,160 Well, okay. You know, maybe... Maybe not every week. 1284 01:06:00,240 --> 01:06:01,640 But... 1285 01:06:02,800 --> 01:06:07,200 Boy, I really wanted a Mystery Date Game. 1286 01:06:07,280 --> 01:06:09,120 Do you remember those? 1287 01:06:10,160 --> 01:06:13,280 No. Of course you don't. 1288 01:06:13,320 --> 01:06:15,840 You know, no one does. 1289 01:06:15,920 --> 01:06:18,960 I don't even think they make them anymore, but... 1290 01:06:21,200 --> 01:06:23,560 Well, anyway... 1291 01:06:23,640 --> 01:06:27,360 Christmas morning came and... 1292 01:06:27,440 --> 01:06:29,920 Oh, I got dozens of presents. 1293 01:06:30,000 --> 01:06:32,440 I got everything. 1294 01:06:35,080 --> 01:06:39,360 Except Mystery Date. 1295 01:06:41,720 --> 01:06:47,040 I was three, and it was an Oscar Mayer wienie whistle. 1296 01:06:49,280 --> 01:06:53,680 Christmas came. No wienie whistle. 1297 01:06:55,200 --> 01:06:57,360 And that's when I stopped believing. 1298 01:06:57,880 --> 01:06:59,600 You were three? 1299 01:07:00,560 --> 01:07:02,440 Yeah. 1300 01:07:03,880 --> 01:07:05,040 Oh, Neal. 1301 01:07:08,400 --> 01:07:09,440 Where's Charlie? 1302 01:07:09,520 --> 01:07:10,680 I want to talk to him. 1303 01:07:10,720 --> 01:07:11,880 He's with the judge. 1304 01:07:14,200 --> 01:07:15,520 Dad! 1305 01:07:15,560 --> 01:07:16,920 (GRUNTING) 1306 01:07:17,800 --> 01:07:22,200 It's all okay. I told the judge everything 1307 01:07:22,280 --> 01:07:24,560 about you and the North Pole. 1308 01:07:25,320 --> 01:07:27,520 After reviewing all of your testimonies, 1309 01:07:27,560 --> 01:07:29,680 I've come to a very difficult decision. 1310 01:07:30,520 --> 01:07:34,400 I'm sorry to do this in light of the holiday season. 1311 01:07:35,720 --> 01:07:37,560 But in the best interest of the child, 1312 01:07:38,560 --> 01:07:42,560 I'm granting the petition of Dr. and Mrs. Miller. 1313 01:07:42,600 --> 01:07:43,720 (CHARLIE SOBBING) 1314 01:07:43,760 --> 01:07:46,240 Mr. Calvin, as of today, 1315 01:07:46,320 --> 01:07:49,280 all of your visitation rights are suspended, 1316 01:07:49,360 --> 01:07:52,800 pending a hearing after the first of the year. 1317 01:08:26,200 --> 01:08:27,640 (SIGHS) 1318 01:08:27,720 --> 01:08:29,280 (DOOR BELL RINGING) 1319 01:08:32,880 --> 01:08:33,880 Hey, Neal. 1320 01:08:33,960 --> 01:08:34,960 Scott? 1321 01:08:35,280 --> 01:08:37,120 You're not supposed to be here. 1322 01:08:37,600 --> 01:08:39,000 Don't make me beat you up, Neal. 1323 01:08:39,080 --> 01:08:41,400 Oh, would Santa really beat someone up? 1324 01:08:41,440 --> 01:08:43,120 I'm this close. 1325 01:08:43,160 --> 01:08:45,000 So you still believe you're Santa? 1326 01:08:45,320 --> 01:08:46,360 I don't know. 1327 01:08:46,480 --> 01:08:48,120 CHARLIE: What do you mean you don't know? 1328 01:08:48,200 --> 01:08:52,040 Of course you are, Dad. How can you say that? 1329 01:08:52,120 --> 01:08:53,880 Think of all those kids. 1330 01:08:54,000 --> 01:08:55,800 The only kid I'm thinking about is you. 1331 01:08:55,840 --> 01:08:59,600 Dad, I'm fine. You can't let them down. 1332 01:08:59,640 --> 01:09:01,200 They all believe in you. 1333 01:09:01,280 --> 01:09:02,720 Charlie, listen. 1334 01:09:02,960 --> 01:09:05,720 You listen! You think you know who he is. 1335 01:09:05,800 --> 01:09:07,320 You don't! Charlie. 1336 01:09:08,160 --> 01:09:10,400 Honey, listen. You're confused. 1337 01:09:10,480 --> 01:09:12,320 I know exactly who he is. 1338 01:09:12,360 --> 01:09:14,960 Charlie! He's not Santa. 1339 01:09:15,000 --> 01:09:19,120 He is, too, Santa. We went to the North Pole together. 1340 01:09:19,160 --> 01:09:20,480 I saw it. 1341 01:09:20,560 --> 01:09:23,320 The elves are real old even though they look like me. 1342 01:09:23,400 --> 01:09:28,280 Bernard called me sport, 'cause he knew everything. Right, Dad? 1343 01:09:29,840 --> 01:09:31,320 Remember! 1344 01:09:56,160 --> 01:09:58,400 Thank you, Charlie. Thank you. 1345 01:10:00,480 --> 01:10:01,920 (WHISPERING) I love you, Dad. 1346 01:10:04,880 --> 01:10:07,680 Could you guys leave us alone for a minute? 1347 01:10:07,720 --> 01:10:10,360 I mean, so I can say goodbye to him properly? 1348 01:10:11,880 --> 01:10:13,080 Sure. 1349 01:10:20,440 --> 01:10:23,640 So! You saw the ball come to life. 1350 01:10:23,720 --> 01:10:28,720 You bet I did. Well, Charlie, I guess I better go. 1351 01:10:28,800 --> 01:10:30,360 I'll get my stuff. 1352 01:10:30,400 --> 01:10:32,400 Wait, sport. Wait, wait. 1353 01:10:33,200 --> 01:10:34,960 I think it's a much better idea 1354 01:10:35,040 --> 01:10:37,000 if you stayed here with your mom. 1355 01:10:37,480 --> 01:10:39,160 I want to be with you, Dad. 1356 01:10:39,320 --> 01:10:42,640 (CHUCKLING) Boy, I love hearing you say that. 1357 01:10:43,040 --> 01:10:44,280 You mean I can go? 1358 01:10:46,440 --> 01:10:47,600 (CHIMES JINGLING) 1359 01:10:47,720 --> 01:10:49,240 BERNARD: Boy, this bird is dry. 1360 01:10:49,280 --> 01:10:51,240 Haven't you people heard about basting? 1361 01:10:51,320 --> 01:10:52,560 Bernard! 1362 01:10:54,480 --> 01:10:55,600 Hiya, sport. 1363 01:10:55,680 --> 01:10:58,440 Bernard, can I go? Please, can I go, Bernard? 1364 01:10:58,480 --> 01:10:59,840 It's okay with me. 1365 01:11:00,920 --> 01:11:04,280 Charlie, if... 1366 01:11:08,320 --> 01:11:10,280 Charlie? 1367 01:11:16,160 --> 01:11:17,520 Scott! 1368 01:11:19,600 --> 01:11:21,560 Charlie! 1369 01:11:21,600 --> 01:11:23,160 (WIND HOWLING) 1370 01:11:25,520 --> 01:11:27,920 This is our perpetrator! 1371 01:11:27,960 --> 01:11:30,960 Scott Calvin, 38 years old. 1372 01:11:31,320 --> 01:11:33,640 Believes himself to be Santa Claus. 1373 01:11:34,080 --> 01:11:37,280 Ladies and gentlemen, this one is not going to be easy to find. 1374 01:11:37,320 --> 01:11:39,880 Won't the bright red suit and beard give him away? 1375 01:11:39,960 --> 01:11:41,600 (ALL SNICKERING) 1376 01:11:41,640 --> 01:11:45,280 Charlie's got some great ideas on how to keep you safe. 1377 01:11:45,320 --> 01:11:47,640 Santa, this is Quintin, head of research and development. 1378 01:11:47,720 --> 01:11:48,920 Quintin, good to meet ya. 1379 01:11:48,960 --> 01:11:50,160 Hello, Santa. 1380 01:11:50,480 --> 01:11:52,000 Charlie and I have put our heads together. 1381 01:11:52,120 --> 01:11:54,360 I think we've got a few surprises for you. 1382 01:11:54,440 --> 01:11:55,640 This is some of the best stuff 1383 01:11:55,680 --> 01:11:58,120 that's come out of the workshop since the ball. 1384 01:11:58,200 --> 01:12:00,440 Fabulous. What happens if I fall off the roof? 1385 01:12:00,480 --> 01:12:02,800 Is this the most current photo you have? 1386 01:12:03,200 --> 01:12:04,480 (PHONE RINGING) 1387 01:12:04,560 --> 01:12:05,640 Hold on. 1388 01:12:11,160 --> 01:12:12,280 (CLEARING THROAT) Hello? 1389 01:12:12,320 --> 01:12:13,400 CHARLIE ON PHONE: Mom! 1390 01:12:13,520 --> 01:12:15,320 Oh, Charlie. Oh, my God. 1391 01:12:15,920 --> 01:12:19,920 Honey, how are you? Where are you? Are you okay? 1392 01:12:20,000 --> 01:12:22,400 I'm fine. We're up at the North Pole. 1393 01:12:22,840 --> 01:12:25,200 Charlie, are you sure you're okay? 1394 01:12:25,320 --> 01:12:26,800 I'm terrific. 1395 01:12:26,840 --> 01:12:28,840 I'm helping the elves build a new sleigh. 1396 01:12:28,880 --> 01:12:31,680 We're trying for a vertical takeoff. Well, gotta go. 1397 01:12:31,720 --> 01:12:33,520 The elves need me. No. Charlie, wait. 1398 01:12:33,600 --> 01:12:34,840 No. Don't hang up. Charlie, don't... 1399 01:12:34,880 --> 01:12:36,080 See you at Christmas. 1400 01:12:36,160 --> 01:12:37,520 (DISCONNECTS CALL) 1401 01:12:38,520 --> 01:12:40,600 BERNARD: Fireplaces will no longer be a problem. 1402 01:12:46,960 --> 01:12:50,720 It's a new fabric. Completely flame retardant. 1403 01:12:50,760 --> 01:12:52,520 It's light, yet durable. 1404 01:12:52,560 --> 01:12:55,720 And you can wear the jumpsuit under your coat and pants. 1405 01:12:55,800 --> 01:12:59,360 But what do I do if I fall off a roof? 1406 01:12:59,440 --> 01:13:04,520 We'll cordon off a three-block radius around Dr. Miller's house. 1407 01:13:04,560 --> 01:13:07,320 Calvin is to be apprehended unharmed. 1408 01:13:07,400 --> 01:13:11,360 And remember, he'll probably be dressed like Santa Claus. 1409 01:13:12,000 --> 01:13:13,560 (ROCK SONG PLAYING) 1410 01:13:25,240 --> 01:13:27,000 (TIRES SCREECHING) 1411 01:13:29,680 --> 01:13:31,200 (SIRENS WAILING) 1412 01:13:31,240 --> 01:13:33,280 ♪ Give it your best shot 1413 01:13:35,960 --> 01:13:39,320 ♪ What you got is oh, so sweet 1414 01:13:39,400 --> 01:13:40,800 (SIREN WAILING) 1415 01:13:42,680 --> 01:13:43,680 Freeze! 1416 01:13:43,760 --> 01:13:44,920 What? 1417 01:13:45,240 --> 01:13:49,800 ♪ I need a routine, gimme all your loving 1418 01:13:49,880 --> 01:13:52,040 Not even my suit. It's a rental. 1419 01:13:55,960 --> 01:14:01,120 ♪ Gimme all your loving Don't let up until we're through 1420 01:14:01,200 --> 01:14:03,440 "From Comet, to Santa." Did you make the card? 1421 01:14:03,520 --> 01:14:04,680 (GRUNTING) 1422 01:14:04,760 --> 01:14:07,280 It's a nice rope. Just in case I fall off the roof? 1423 01:14:07,320 --> 01:14:08,800 (GRUNTING) 1424 01:14:08,880 --> 01:14:12,240 Comet, this means a lot to me. Thanks, buddy. 1425 01:14:12,280 --> 01:14:14,400 ♪ If I blow my top 1426 01:14:16,240 --> 01:14:19,200 ♪ Will you let it go to your head? 1427 01:14:20,120 --> 01:14:22,240 ♪ Gimme all your loving ♪ 1428 01:14:23,800 --> 01:14:25,640 All right, let's go! 1429 01:14:27,480 --> 01:14:28,560 You ready to go, sport? 1430 01:14:28,680 --> 01:14:29,800 You betcha, Dad. 1431 01:14:29,880 --> 01:14:32,800 Now Dasher, now Dancer! Now Prancer and Vixen! 1432 01:14:32,880 --> 01:14:36,320 On Comet, on Cupid! On Donner and Blitzen! 1433 01:14:36,360 --> 01:14:37,680 Hah! 1434 01:14:39,760 --> 01:14:44,120 CHARLIE: Bye! Bye, Quintin! Bye, Peewee! 1435 01:14:44,160 --> 01:14:46,120 Merry Christmas! 1436 01:14:46,160 --> 01:14:47,720 Hyah! 1437 01:14:48,320 --> 01:14:49,760 (GRUNTS) CHARLIE: Whoa. 1438 01:14:59,480 --> 01:15:01,160 Take your time. 1439 01:15:03,600 --> 01:15:06,320 Turn to your right. Hello! 1440 01:15:09,880 --> 01:15:11,480 No. 1441 01:15:13,080 --> 01:15:14,520 Charlie, stay in your seat. 1442 01:15:14,600 --> 01:15:17,600 I gotta show you this. Radar-jamming jingle bells, 1443 01:15:17,680 --> 01:15:19,960 snow screen, 1444 01:15:20,000 --> 01:15:22,640 DC-10 alert and air freshener. 1445 01:15:22,680 --> 01:15:23,800 Wow! 1446 01:15:24,240 --> 01:15:25,920 And most important of all, 1447 01:15:26,040 --> 01:15:27,840 your hat. My hat? 1448 01:15:27,920 --> 01:15:30,000 It's lined with a two-way radio. 1449 01:15:30,400 --> 01:15:34,360 Microphone's in here. It connects you directly to Judy. 1450 01:15:34,440 --> 01:15:35,840 Wait a minute. What's this? 1451 01:15:35,880 --> 01:15:37,360 Oh, that's a CD. 1452 01:15:37,520 --> 01:15:38,880 Compact disc. 1453 01:15:38,960 --> 01:15:41,400 No. Cookie/cocoa dispenser. 1454 01:15:41,920 --> 01:15:44,240 The cocoa comes out nice and hot. 1455 01:15:44,320 --> 01:15:47,200 And out pops a cookie. 1456 01:15:48,400 --> 01:15:50,320 How could I have done this without ya, Charlie? 1457 01:15:50,400 --> 01:15:51,560 You couldn't. 1458 01:15:51,720 --> 01:15:52,880 (CHUCKLES) 1459 01:16:02,520 --> 01:16:04,160 (CHIMES JINGLING) 1460 01:16:13,600 --> 01:16:14,840 (SHUSHING) 1461 01:16:17,560 --> 01:16:19,480 You're fatter this year. 1462 01:16:19,680 --> 01:16:22,360 Thank you very much. You've grown, too. 1463 01:16:23,000 --> 01:16:24,800 And you were a very good girl this year, 1464 01:16:24,880 --> 01:16:26,680 but I want you to go back to sleep, okay? 1465 01:16:31,920 --> 01:16:33,400 (GULPING) 1466 01:16:35,720 --> 01:16:37,120 (SMACKING LIPS) 1467 01:16:38,160 --> 01:16:39,480 (GAGGING) 1468 01:16:40,920 --> 01:16:42,600 I think the milk's a little sour. 1469 01:16:42,760 --> 01:16:44,440 It's soy milk. 1470 01:16:44,720 --> 01:16:45,760 Huh? 1471 01:16:45,800 --> 01:16:48,200 You said you were lactose intolerant. 1472 01:16:49,120 --> 01:16:51,920 I did say that, didn't I? Thanks for remembering. 1473 01:16:51,960 --> 01:16:53,920 Go to sleep. 1474 01:16:54,600 --> 01:16:56,160 (CHIMES JINGLING) 1475 01:16:58,160 --> 01:16:59,960 Merry Christmas, Sara. 1476 01:17:00,040 --> 01:17:01,960 Merry Christmas, Santa. 1477 01:17:04,320 --> 01:17:06,880 CHARLIE: Look, there's Mom and Neal's street. 1478 01:17:06,960 --> 01:17:08,600 Can we go there next? Sure. 1479 01:17:08,640 --> 01:17:10,960 I made something for them at the workshop. 1480 01:17:14,800 --> 01:17:16,360 (SCOTT HUMMING) 1481 01:17:26,720 --> 01:17:28,480 (HUMMING CONTINUES) 1482 01:17:34,200 --> 01:17:35,320 Freeze! 1483 01:17:37,400 --> 01:17:38,920 Oh! (LAUGHS) 1484 01:17:39,320 --> 01:17:41,080 You officers really gave me a start. 1485 01:17:41,160 --> 01:17:42,200 Merry Christmas, guys. 1486 01:17:42,320 --> 01:17:43,440 Not for you, fat boy. 1487 01:17:44,000 --> 01:17:46,320 "Fat boy"? Guys. 1488 01:17:46,400 --> 01:17:48,280 Uh-uh-uh. Nice and easy now. 1489 01:17:50,200 --> 01:17:52,760 Guys, guys. I got a lot of work to do. This is a big mistake. 1490 01:17:52,840 --> 01:17:54,320 You got to watch the suit, too. 1491 01:17:54,400 --> 01:17:55,840 This is so old. It's an antique, you know. 1492 01:17:55,880 --> 01:17:57,120 Where's the boy? 1493 01:17:57,160 --> 01:17:58,520 He's in the sleigh. 1494 01:17:58,600 --> 01:18:00,320 We got Calvin. We're bringing him out. 1495 01:18:00,640 --> 01:18:04,000 CHARLIE OVER MICROPHONE: Santa, are you okay? Over, over. 1496 01:18:04,400 --> 01:18:05,760 (GRUNTING) 1497 01:18:12,400 --> 01:18:14,520 Watch your head. GIRL: Santa? Are you all right? 1498 01:18:14,560 --> 01:18:15,600 Santa? 1499 01:18:15,680 --> 01:18:17,040 It'll be okay, kids. 1500 01:18:17,120 --> 01:18:20,040 Let him go! Let Santa go! 1501 01:18:26,560 --> 01:18:28,280 (SIREN WAILING) 1502 01:18:36,040 --> 01:18:39,040 NEAL: Honey, I'm sure Charlie's fine. 1503 01:18:48,560 --> 01:18:52,600 We've got a problem. Santa was at the Millers, but he's not responding. 1504 01:18:52,680 --> 01:18:56,040 Well, time to deploy E.L.F.S. 1505 01:18:58,800 --> 01:19:00,240 (BELL TOLLING) 1506 01:19:02,240 --> 01:19:03,880 Let's go! 1507 01:19:03,920 --> 01:19:05,360 (BELLS CHIMING) 1508 01:19:08,400 --> 01:19:10,640 Go, go, go, go! 1509 01:19:18,240 --> 01:19:19,800 (WATCH BEEPING) 1510 01:19:27,600 --> 01:19:29,160 (WHOOSHING) 1511 01:19:38,760 --> 01:19:41,960 Look, I know you're Scott Calvin. 1512 01:19:42,000 --> 01:19:43,840 You know you're Scott Calvin. 1513 01:19:43,920 --> 01:19:46,280 So let's make this simple. 1514 01:19:46,360 --> 01:19:49,800 I say, name. You say, Scott Calvin. 1515 01:19:52,440 --> 01:19:54,240 Name? 1516 01:19:54,960 --> 01:19:56,040 Kriss Kringle. 1517 01:19:57,480 --> 01:19:58,640 Name? 1518 01:19:58,720 --> 01:20:00,120 Sinterklaas. 1519 01:20:00,440 --> 01:20:01,520 Name? 1520 01:20:01,600 --> 01:20:02,760 Pere Noel. 1521 01:20:02,960 --> 01:20:06,440 Babbo Natale. Pelz-Nicole. 1522 01:20:06,480 --> 01:20:09,240 Topo Gigio. (LAUGHS) 1523 01:20:09,320 --> 01:20:10,880 Okay, Calvin. 1524 01:20:10,960 --> 01:20:13,520 Maybe a couple of hours in the tank'll change your mind. 1525 01:20:17,240 --> 01:20:18,560 (SLURPING) 1526 01:20:30,280 --> 01:20:31,400 (WATCHES BEEPING) 1527 01:20:35,080 --> 01:20:36,080 Charlie? 1528 01:20:36,360 --> 01:20:37,440 Yeah? 1529 01:20:37,520 --> 01:20:39,920 Don't worry. We're the good guys. 1530 01:20:40,000 --> 01:20:42,520 Come on. Let's go save Santa. 1531 01:20:46,440 --> 01:20:50,360 We can't. The police are watching this place. 1532 01:20:50,680 --> 01:20:52,640 Yeah, they probably are. 1533 01:20:52,680 --> 01:20:55,200 But you see, we weren't figuring on walking out the front door. 1534 01:20:55,640 --> 01:20:59,640 We find that we can get around a lot faster if we fly. 1535 01:20:59,680 --> 01:21:01,680 Now grab hold of my hand. 1536 01:21:02,880 --> 01:21:04,040 And hang on tight. 1537 01:21:05,680 --> 01:21:06,800 And Charlie? 1538 01:21:06,960 --> 01:21:08,000 Yeah? 1539 01:21:08,280 --> 01:21:10,520 Don't ever try this without elf supervision. 1540 01:21:19,760 --> 01:21:21,360 (LAUGHING) 1541 01:21:35,560 --> 01:21:37,560 (DOOR CREAKING) 1542 01:21:51,800 --> 01:21:53,400 We're looking for Santa Claus. 1543 01:21:53,960 --> 01:21:56,680 Go home, kids. Visiting hours are over. 1544 01:21:57,160 --> 01:22:00,560 We're not kids, and we're not visiting. 1545 01:22:00,800 --> 01:22:02,400 We're here to bust out my dad. 1546 01:22:03,280 --> 01:22:04,720 You're the Calvin boy. 1547 01:22:08,960 --> 01:22:10,280 Who are these other kids? 1548 01:22:10,480 --> 01:22:11,840 We're your worst nightmare. 1549 01:22:12,960 --> 01:22:15,600 Elves with attitude. 1550 01:22:22,680 --> 01:22:24,240 (LAUGHING) 1551 01:22:29,160 --> 01:22:31,120 Shouldn't have had that donut. 1552 01:22:34,000 --> 01:22:36,120 Untie me! I mean it! 1553 01:22:36,200 --> 01:22:37,440 Untie... (MUFFLED YELLING) 1554 01:22:41,240 --> 01:22:42,280 Charlie! 1555 01:22:42,320 --> 01:22:43,520 Are you okay, Dad? 1556 01:22:43,600 --> 01:22:44,800 I am now. 1557 01:22:52,080 --> 01:22:53,320 (WHISTLING) 1558 01:22:53,360 --> 01:22:54,800 How'd you do that? 1559 01:22:54,960 --> 01:22:57,400 Tinsel. Not just for decoration. 1560 01:22:58,960 --> 01:23:02,600 Hey, excuse me. Can I get some of that tinsel? 1561 01:23:06,080 --> 01:23:07,560 (DOOR OPENING) 1562 01:23:08,240 --> 01:23:09,600 CHARLIE: Mom? 1563 01:23:10,960 --> 01:23:12,080 Mom! 1564 01:23:13,400 --> 01:23:16,840 Neal? I'm home! 1565 01:23:16,880 --> 01:23:18,320 Charlie? 1566 01:23:20,320 --> 01:23:23,520 Charlie? Oh, my God, Charlie! Charlie. 1567 01:23:23,560 --> 01:23:27,480 Sweetheart. Oh, God. Come here, come here. 1568 01:23:27,520 --> 01:23:30,440 Oh, my boy. Oh, sweetheart. 1569 01:23:30,520 --> 01:23:32,800 My boy, you're home! 1570 01:23:32,840 --> 01:23:35,960 I missed you so much. How are you? 1571 01:23:36,000 --> 01:23:38,080 I'm fine, Mom. 1572 01:23:38,160 --> 01:23:39,760 LAURA: Are you okay? Look at me. 1573 01:23:39,840 --> 01:23:41,760 Charlie, I missed you, honey. Mom, I'm fine. It's okay. 1574 01:23:41,840 --> 01:23:42,960 (SIREN WAILING) 1575 01:23:43,040 --> 01:23:44,120 LAURA: I was so worried. 1576 01:23:44,200 --> 01:23:47,320 Mom, put me down. Stop kissing me. 1577 01:23:47,440 --> 01:23:49,200 I don't have a lot of time. 1578 01:23:52,200 --> 01:23:55,200 Did you leave the gifts I made under the tree? 1579 01:23:55,240 --> 01:23:56,360 You bet I did. 1580 01:23:56,400 --> 01:23:57,440 We better go. 1581 01:23:57,520 --> 01:23:59,440 No, Charlie. No, no, no. No! Wait, Charlie. 1582 01:23:59,520 --> 01:24:01,080 It's okay, Laura. 1583 01:24:05,040 --> 01:24:09,960 Actually, I... I think it's a much better idea 1584 01:24:10,040 --> 01:24:12,120 that you stay here with your mom and Neal. 1585 01:24:12,560 --> 01:24:13,760 Really? 1586 01:24:13,840 --> 01:24:15,360 But, Dad... 1587 01:24:15,400 --> 01:24:18,960 No buts, Charlie. I can't be selfish. 1588 01:24:19,040 --> 01:24:21,000 I can't be with ya all the time. 1589 01:24:21,040 --> 01:24:23,360 We're a family. 1590 01:24:23,400 --> 01:24:24,840 You, me, your mom... 1591 01:24:27,920 --> 01:24:29,520 And Neal. 1592 01:24:29,920 --> 01:24:32,720 And they need to be with ya, too. 1593 01:24:32,800 --> 01:24:35,240 I miss you too much. 1594 01:24:35,800 --> 01:24:37,240 (SOBBING) 1595 01:24:37,320 --> 01:24:38,640 Come here a minute. 1596 01:24:38,800 --> 01:24:40,120 (CHIMES JINGLING) 1597 01:24:43,840 --> 01:24:45,000 Listen to me. 1598 01:24:46,240 --> 01:24:48,600 Come on, listen. There's a lot of kids out there. 1599 01:24:48,640 --> 01:24:51,000 Okay? Millions of kids. 1600 01:24:51,960 --> 01:24:55,680 They all believe in me. They're counting on me, Charlie. 1601 01:24:56,920 --> 01:25:01,200 I'm not gonna let 'em down. I got a lot of work to do. 1602 01:25:01,280 --> 01:25:04,200 So I can't be selfish either. 1603 01:25:06,000 --> 01:25:09,920 You gave me a wonderful gift. Listen, a wonderful gift. 1604 01:25:10,600 --> 01:25:13,080 You believed in me when nobody else did. 1605 01:25:13,120 --> 01:25:15,360 You helped make me Santa. 1606 01:25:16,840 --> 01:25:19,800 Selfish? Come on. 1607 01:25:19,840 --> 01:25:23,360 You're the least selfish person I know. 1608 01:25:26,960 --> 01:25:29,760 I love you, Santa Claus. 1609 01:25:30,040 --> 01:25:31,280 (SOBBING) 1610 01:25:31,360 --> 01:25:33,080 I love you, son. 1611 01:25:36,080 --> 01:25:37,560 (SHUSHING) 1612 01:25:38,680 --> 01:25:43,040 It's okay. Okay. It's okay. (SHUSHING) 1613 01:25:51,560 --> 01:25:53,080 Laura, what do you think? 1614 01:25:53,160 --> 01:25:54,800 Christmas Eve you guys spend with Charlie? 1615 01:25:57,520 --> 01:26:00,040 Oh, my God. 1616 01:26:02,040 --> 01:26:03,600 It's you. 1617 01:26:06,080 --> 01:26:07,520 It really is you. 1618 01:26:09,640 --> 01:26:11,280 You really are 1619 01:26:12,840 --> 01:26:14,680 Santa Claus. 1620 01:26:15,400 --> 01:26:16,560 Pretty cool, huh? 1621 01:26:17,160 --> 01:26:18,720 Oh, my God. 1622 01:26:19,760 --> 01:26:21,960 And your parents thought I'd never amount to anything. 1623 01:26:22,000 --> 01:26:23,200 (CHUCKLING) 1624 01:26:23,240 --> 01:26:27,320 Wait. Don't go yet. I have something for you. 1625 01:26:28,360 --> 01:26:30,120 It's Santa. 1626 01:26:33,840 --> 01:26:35,040 Scott. 1627 01:26:35,840 --> 01:26:36,880 Neal. 1628 01:26:47,360 --> 01:26:48,640 Santa? 1629 01:26:48,960 --> 01:26:49,960 It's okay, Neal. 1630 01:26:50,880 --> 01:26:52,120 (GRUNTS) 1631 01:26:53,560 --> 01:26:54,880 Here. 1632 01:26:56,120 --> 01:26:58,600 It's... Well, it's... 1633 01:26:58,680 --> 01:27:02,560 It's my Christmas present for you. It's the custody papers. 1634 01:27:03,960 --> 01:27:08,440 And I want you to come and see Charlie as often as you can. 1635 01:27:08,520 --> 01:27:10,320 SCOTT: You can count on it. 1636 01:27:11,400 --> 01:27:12,680 Thanks, Laura. 1637 01:27:17,720 --> 01:27:19,200 Merry Christmas. 1638 01:27:20,040 --> 01:27:22,120 What's all this boo-hooing going on here? 1639 01:27:22,200 --> 01:27:23,200 Hey, how ya doing? 1640 01:27:23,760 --> 01:27:25,840 It's nothing, Bernard. I'm just saying goodbye to Charlie. 1641 01:27:25,920 --> 01:27:29,240 What goodbye? You still got the glass ball, right? 1642 01:27:29,280 --> 01:27:30,320 Yeah. 1643 01:27:30,400 --> 01:27:33,120 Well, all you got to do is shake it 1644 01:27:33,200 --> 01:27:34,760 whenever you want to see your dad. 1645 01:27:34,840 --> 01:27:36,080 Really? 1646 01:27:36,120 --> 01:27:40,040 He can come back to see you anytime, day or night. 1647 01:27:40,080 --> 01:27:42,080 Hey, have I ever steered ya wrong? 1648 01:27:45,000 --> 01:27:46,920 Nice sweater. 1649 01:27:47,000 --> 01:27:48,880 Hey, did we make this? 1650 01:27:50,080 --> 01:27:55,200 Laura. He's sucking us into his delusions. 1651 01:27:55,280 --> 01:27:58,600 Look at the elaborate measures he's taken. 1652 01:27:59,680 --> 01:28:02,560 Neal, relax. 1653 01:28:03,280 --> 01:28:04,840 I'll explain it to you later. 1654 01:28:07,480 --> 01:28:09,000 Where'd he go? 1655 01:28:11,920 --> 01:28:13,560 (SIRENS WAILING) 1656 01:28:21,800 --> 01:28:23,720 Go, go, go, go! 1657 01:28:24,240 --> 01:28:25,960 Team one! 1658 01:28:33,480 --> 01:28:34,960 Okay, stand back, folks. Give us some room. 1659 01:28:35,880 --> 01:28:37,320 Here you go, sir. Thanks. 1660 01:28:37,360 --> 01:28:41,000 Return to your homes! Stay off the street! 1661 01:28:41,040 --> 01:28:43,280 Come on, folks. Let us do our job here. 1662 01:28:43,320 --> 01:28:46,720 Excuse me, excuse me. Hi! 1663 01:28:46,800 --> 01:28:48,440 You know, you don't have to send anybody... 1664 01:28:48,480 --> 01:28:49,680 Hey! Hey! Oh, my gosh! 1665 01:28:49,760 --> 01:28:52,560 That's my ex-husband and he's already up the chimney. 1666 01:28:52,680 --> 01:28:54,440 Chief, look up there. 1667 01:28:55,840 --> 01:28:57,240 (CROWD GASPING) 1668 01:28:57,320 --> 01:28:59,160 BOY: Santa Claus! 1669 01:29:00,520 --> 01:29:02,480 Santa. 1670 01:29:04,560 --> 01:29:06,160 MAN: Look! 1671 01:29:12,600 --> 01:29:14,320 GIRL: What is it? 1672 01:29:16,960 --> 01:29:18,840 Oh, wow! 1673 01:29:19,720 --> 01:29:22,560 Up there. Do you see it? Hey, do you see it? 1674 01:29:26,600 --> 01:29:27,880 Goodbye, Charlie. 1675 01:29:28,000 --> 01:29:29,200 Bye, Dad! 1676 01:29:29,280 --> 01:29:33,040 Merry Christmas to all! And to all a good night! 1677 01:29:37,880 --> 01:29:39,440 I'm sorry, Charlie. 1678 01:29:39,560 --> 01:29:43,520 That's okay, Neal. You were just denying your inner child. 1679 01:29:43,560 --> 01:29:44,600 (LAUGHING) 1680 01:29:45,160 --> 01:29:49,360 You're gonna make a great psychiatrist one day, kid. 1681 01:29:49,400 --> 01:29:53,960 No, I think I'm going to go into the family business. 1682 01:30:00,120 --> 01:30:01,600 Look out below! 1683 01:30:14,560 --> 01:30:16,400 My wienie whistle. 1684 01:30:22,200 --> 01:30:23,960 (BLOWING WHISTLE) 1685 01:30:32,760 --> 01:30:34,440 (ELVES LAUGHING) 1686 01:30:46,360 --> 01:30:49,760 GIRL: Bye! Merry Christmas! 1687 01:30:51,280 --> 01:30:53,080 (ELVES LAUGHING) 1688 01:31:06,120 --> 01:31:07,360 (DOOR OPENING) 1689 01:31:07,440 --> 01:31:10,000 LAURA: Charlie? Time to come inside. 1690 01:31:12,320 --> 01:31:14,800 CHARLIE: Mom, this stupid ball's not working. 1691 01:31:21,520 --> 01:31:23,840 Shoot. 1692 01:31:29,160 --> 01:31:30,800 Hey, sport! 1693 01:31:31,760 --> 01:31:32,960 Dad! 1694 01:31:33,320 --> 01:31:36,080 You miss me already? I've been gone, what? Ten minutes? 1695 01:31:36,720 --> 01:31:40,000 Give me a break. I was on my way to Cleveland. 1696 01:31:40,600 --> 01:31:41,800 Come here and give me a hug. 1697 01:31:46,160 --> 01:31:47,440 (GRUNTS) 1698 01:31:50,840 --> 01:31:52,680 Do you want to go for a quick ride? 1699 01:31:53,000 --> 01:31:54,000 Yeah! 1700 01:31:55,240 --> 01:31:56,880 Of course, it's up to your mom. 1701 01:31:57,560 --> 01:31:58,600 Please, Mom. 1702 01:32:01,520 --> 01:32:03,160 Go on. Get out of here. 1703 01:32:05,240 --> 01:32:07,760 All right. Hold on. 1704 01:32:12,120 --> 01:32:13,360 On our way. 1705 01:32:13,440 --> 01:32:14,720 Bye, Mom! 1706 01:32:20,000 --> 01:32:21,520 Just a quick one. 1707 01:32:22,640 --> 01:32:23,960 And... 1708 01:32:24,040 --> 01:32:26,960 Not over any oceans, Scott. 1709 01:32:27,040 --> 01:32:30,200 Bye, Mom! Bye! Scott. 1710 01:32:30,960 --> 01:32:33,160 Scott! 1711 01:32:33,800 --> 01:32:35,360 Santa! 1712 01:33:01,160 --> 01:33:03,160 (CHRISTMAS SONG PLAYING) 1713 01:33:15,080 --> 01:33:18,520 ♪ All the brightly colored paper 1714 01:33:18,600 --> 01:33:21,800 ♪ Lies around the Christmas tree 1715 01:33:21,880 --> 01:33:24,280 ♪ While mothers shake their heads 1716 01:33:24,320 --> 01:33:29,080 ♪ And pack the decorations carefully 1717 01:33:35,920 --> 01:33:39,440 ♪ All the little children know that 1718 01:33:39,480 --> 01:33:42,720 ♪ Monday's just another day 1719 01:33:42,800 --> 01:33:46,160 ♪ They feel a little sad to think 1720 01:33:46,240 --> 01:33:49,640 ♪ That Santa's gone away 1721 01:33:49,720 --> 01:33:53,000 ♪ But Christmas will return 1722 01:33:53,080 --> 01:33:56,560 ♪ And joyful hearts like candles burn 1723 01:33:56,640 --> 01:34:00,080 ♪ With love for all the little ones 1724 01:34:00,160 --> 01:34:03,520 ♪ In countries far and near 1725 01:34:03,600 --> 01:34:06,880 ♪ And if we live and learn 1726 01:34:06,960 --> 01:34:10,600 ♪ To show the world our real concern 1727 01:34:10,640 --> 01:34:13,320 ♪ Then Christmas will return, yeah 1728 01:34:13,400 --> 01:34:16,640 ♪ Every year 1729 01:34:16,920 --> 01:34:20,040 ♪ Every year 1730 01:34:20,760 --> 01:34:21,760 ♪ Yeah 1731 01:34:24,800 --> 01:34:28,160 ♪ Take a little Christmas spirit 1732 01:34:28,240 --> 01:34:31,680 ♪ With you into each new year 1733 01:34:31,760 --> 01:34:35,160 ♪ Make a little Christmas spirit 1734 01:34:35,240 --> 01:34:39,400 ♪ Last till Easter Sunday's here 1735 01:34:42,160 --> 01:34:45,680 ♪ Take it with you through the summer 1736 01:34:45,720 --> 01:34:48,920 ♪ Till the autumn leaves arrive 1737 01:34:49,040 --> 01:34:52,560 ♪ In the bitter cold of winter 1738 01:34:52,640 --> 01:34:55,560 ♪ The spark is still alive 1739 01:34:56,000 --> 01:34:58,720 ♪ Christmas will return 1740 01:34:59,360 --> 01:35:02,920 ♪ And joyful hearts like candles burn 1741 01:35:03,000 --> 01:35:06,280 ♪ With love for all the little ones 1742 01:35:06,360 --> 01:35:09,800 ♪ In countries far and near 1743 01:35:09,880 --> 01:35:12,960 ♪ And if we live and learn 1744 01:35:13,200 --> 01:35:16,800 ♪ To show the world our real concern 1745 01:35:16,880 --> 01:35:19,560 ♪ Then Christmas will return 1746 01:35:19,600 --> 01:35:23,880 ♪ Every year 1747 01:35:23,920 --> 01:35:27,400 ♪ Christmas will return 1748 01:35:28,880 --> 01:35:31,320 ♪ So much 1749 01:35:31,720 --> 01:35:34,880 ♪ Love for the little ones 1750 01:35:37,040 --> 01:35:41,360 ♪ Oh, they can live and learn 1751 01:35:50,160 --> 01:35:52,280 ♪ Yeah 1752 01:35:53,120 --> 01:35:54,400 ♪ Yeah 1753 01:35:55,080 --> 01:35:58,760 ♪ Take it with you through the summer 1754 01:35:58,800 --> 01:36:02,240 ♪ Till the autumn leaves arrive 1755 01:36:02,240 --> 01:36:05,640 ♪ In the bitter cold of winter 1756 01:36:05,720 --> 01:36:11,280 ♪ See the spark is still alive 1757 01:36:11,760 --> 01:36:16,120 ♪ Oh, oh, Christmas will return 1758 01:36:16,200 --> 01:36:19,480 ♪ Joyful hearts like candles burn 1759 01:36:19,560 --> 01:36:22,960 ♪ With love for all the little ones 1760 01:36:23,000 --> 01:36:26,520 ♪ In counties far and near 1761 01:36:26,640 --> 01:36:29,960 ♪ If we live and learn 1762 01:36:30,000 --> 01:36:32,720 ♪ To show the world our real concern 1763 01:36:32,800 --> 01:36:36,120 ♪ Christmas will return 1764 01:36:36,400 --> 01:36:39,080 ♪ Every year 1765 01:36:39,120 --> 01:36:44,480 ♪ Every year 1766 01:36:46,480 --> 01:36:53,320 ♪ Every year ♪