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♪ One, two, three... ♪
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♪ Hold up ♪
3
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♪ Here's the story
about a man ♪
4
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♪ A simple man ♪
5
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♪ A man with a dream
To do the world some good ♪
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♪ Here's the story
for rich and poor ♪
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♪ For young and for old ♪
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♪ About a man from the hood ♪
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♪ Trying to do
the world some good ♪
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♪ Here's a story about a man ♪
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♪ An everyday man ♪
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♪ A man with a dream
To be the head of state ♪
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[phone rings]
14
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[man] Alderman Gilliam's
office.
15
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What are you upset about?
16
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It's not a
black-owned business?
17
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But it's a Chinese
food restaurant.
18
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I know it's fried rice,
but it's not fried rice.
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[phone rings]
20
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- Hey, honey.
- Kim. How's it going, honey?
21
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- I got tickets
to the symphony.
- Really?
22
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- Please don't put me on hold.
- I got another call.
23
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Vote for Gaines and James.
24
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- Million Babies Mamas March?
- It's a very good cause.
25
00:02:05,359 --> 00:02:08,260
No, you'll have to call
Rev. Barton for that one.
26
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You can't use
food stamps to buy tires.
27
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- Alderman Gilliam.
- I'm sorry,
what can I do for you?
28
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- Your girlfriend's on hold.
- Honey, hold on a sec.
29
00:02:19,507 --> 00:02:22,474
- Now what was it?
- The bus.
30
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I read they're gonna
shut down our bus line.
31
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If they do that,
I can't get to work.
32
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Unless they give me
a job in that new mall.
33
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Don't worry. I've been
talking to the people downtown.
34
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I promise you this,
if they shut down this bus line
35
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I will drive you to work myself.
36
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You got my word.
37
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- Quick! Miss Pearl is back.
- Okay, I gotta go.
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[man] Hi, that's me.
Mays Gilliam.
39
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Alderman of the 9th ward
of Washington, D.C.
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Not the part of D.C.
that you're familiar with.
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I work in
a neighborhood so bad,
42
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you can get shot
while you're getting shot.
43
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Around here when people
have a problem
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they don't call the mayor,
they call me.
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Miss Pearl.
What's going on?
46
00:03:19,566 --> 00:03:23,835
Mays, Dionne is in the house.
I know she is.
47
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I don't know what she's talking
about. There's nobody in there.
48
00:03:27,975 --> 00:03:30,242
Hey, man.
Dionne is her cat.
49
00:03:30,244 --> 00:03:32,644
Whatever. A cat's got nine
lives, she'll be fine.
50
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Can't we let one guy go in there
and help this lady get her cat?
51
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Once they laid the explosives,
there's nothing I can do.
52
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She just showed up.
53
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You took the lady's house.
At least let her get her cat.
54
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We didn't take her house.
We gave her $40,000.
55
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What kind of house is she
supposed to get with $40,000?
56
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A crack house?
57
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She'd be happy to get
out of this rat trap.
58
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Who the hell are you
to call this place a rat trap?
59
00:03:54,969 --> 00:03:56,501
This is my neighborhood.
60
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I got my first bike
stolen right there.
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My daddy got his bike
stolen right there.
62
00:04:00,441 --> 00:04:05,811
When I have a son,
I hope he's fortunate enough
to get stuck up right there.
63
00:04:05,813 --> 00:04:06,945
Can't you go in there and check?
64
00:04:06,947 --> 00:04:08,714
We looked. There's
nothing in there.
65
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- We got work to do here.
- Leave the people alone,
damn it!
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- Let's go.
- [cop] Come on, Mays!
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- Stop being in such a hurry.
- We've been here all morning.
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- Let the lady go inside.
- [Miss Pearl] Dionne!
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Come on, baby.
Sugar baby, come on.
70
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Could you at least cut it off?
Let the lady get her cat.
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Dionne, baby.
I got something for you.
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- Dionne!
- Miss Pearl, no!
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Dionne!
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All right, turn it off. Wait
till this woman gets her cat.
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- Shit! It's not working.
- Cut it off!
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She'd better get out of there.
It's gonna blow.
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Miss Pearl!
Miss Pearl, come out!
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Oh no, Mays! Come on!
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- You've only got a minute!
- Miss Pearl!
80
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- Fix it! Get to work.
- I'm trying.
81
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Get a union man on this.
Mays! Get your ass out! Mays!
82
00:05:04,003 --> 00:05:04,703
[meowing]
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00:05:04,705 --> 00:05:08,807
Gotta get out of here. They're
gonna blow this place up.
84
00:05:08,809 --> 00:05:11,777
They wouldn't do that, baby.
They know we're in here.
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Miss Pearl, I love you.
I've known you a long time.
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You've seen a lot
of things in your life.
87
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Churches burned to the ground.
88
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Dogs sicced on children,
Malcolm X killed, JFK killed.
89
00:05:22,423 --> 00:05:23,822
They shut up Mohammed Ali,
90
00:05:23,824 --> 00:05:26,692
gave Magic Johnson AIDS and
turned Michael Jackson white.
91
00:05:26,694 --> 00:05:30,529
Do you really think these people
give a damn about you?
92
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[yelling]
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[♪ Jay-Z with Beyoncé Knowles:
94
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"'03 Bonnie And Clyde"]
95
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♪ Cruisin' down
the westside highway ♪
96
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♪ Doin' what we
like to do our way ♪
97
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♪ Eyes behind shades ♪
98
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[announcer] We interrupt
the Jay-Z song to bring
you this bulletin.
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Presidential candidate
Sam Gaines and his
running mate Olson James
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00:05:58,992 --> 00:06:02,060
were killed today when their
planes crashed into each other.
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We now return you to the Jay-Z
song already in progress.
102
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♪ Cuz mami's a rida
and I'm a rolla ♪
103
00:06:07,735 --> 00:06:09,835
♪ Put us togetha
how they gon' stop both us? ♪
104
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♪ Whateva she lacks
I'm right over her shoulder ♪
105
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♪ When I'm off track
Mami is keepin' me focused ♪
106
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♪ So let's lock this down
like it's supposed to be ♪
107
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[rap music plays]
108
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- What's up, Warren?
- Trying to be like you, hero!
109
00:06:27,488 --> 00:06:28,854
What's up, man?
Saving kittens?
110
00:06:28,856 --> 00:06:31,957
- Don't steal my car.
- I don't want that garbage.
111
00:06:31,959 --> 00:06:34,860
What am I gonna do,
feed your car to my car?
112
00:06:34,862 --> 00:06:39,131
Let me get ten Nine Lives,
four Lucky Ducks,
two Straight Pokers,
113
00:06:39,133 --> 00:06:42,834
three Crabpots and
five Powerballs.
114
00:06:42,836 --> 00:06:45,837
Thank you, here you go.
115
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Y'all need to stop.
Y'all need to stop it now.
116
00:06:56,416 --> 00:06:58,550
Um... why are
these people clapping?
117
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- You didn't see me on the news?
- No, I didn't.
118
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I got meat!
119
00:07:03,190 --> 00:07:07,759
More beef than East Coast,
West Coast rap. Check it out!
120
00:07:07,761 --> 00:07:10,729
Hey, Superman!
Saving lives and stuff.
121
00:07:10,731 --> 00:07:12,798
Why don't you cop
one of these pork chops?
122
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You need to leave.
I'm not gonna tell you again.
123
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Nobody wants your meat. Who the
hell wants to buy stolen meat?
124
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- I'll take a T-bone.
- You like gizzards too?
125
00:07:22,810 --> 00:07:24,576
[conversation continues]
126
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Did you hear about that
guy running for president?
127
00:07:27,548 --> 00:07:30,682
- Who's gonna replace him?
- Maybe they should get Shaq.
128
00:07:30,684 --> 00:07:35,220
Nobody can beat him.
Are you getting gas?
You're holding my line up.
129
00:07:35,222 --> 00:07:37,722
Okay, I'm sorry.
130
00:07:37,724 --> 00:07:39,458
$10 on three.
131
00:07:39,460 --> 00:07:40,525
[♪ '03 Bonnie And Clyde]
132
00:07:40,527 --> 00:07:42,994
♪ All I need in this life of
sin is me and my girlfriend ♪
133
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♪ Down to ride 'til the
very end, it's me and my... ♪
134
00:07:48,835 --> 00:07:51,937
You've got a lot of nerve
hanging up on me.
135
00:07:51,939 --> 00:07:52,737
Hanging up?
136
00:07:52,739 --> 00:07:55,640
- What's going on?
- I'm leaving you, that's what!
137
00:07:55,642 --> 00:07:59,644
The only reason I ever accepted
this engagement ring from you
138
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is because I thought
you had potential!
139
00:08:03,016 --> 00:08:04,883
I thought you wanted more!
140
00:08:04,885 --> 00:08:07,619
Why can't you
just play the game?
141
00:08:07,621 --> 00:08:10,889
Wear a suit!
Be a real politician!
142
00:08:10,891 --> 00:08:12,691
What do my clothes
have to do with it?
143
00:08:12,693 --> 00:08:17,028
- Are you seeing somebody else?
- I'm seeing everybody else!
144
00:08:17,030 --> 00:08:20,198
I've met mosquitoes
with more force than you.
145
00:08:20,200 --> 00:08:21,666
I'm tired of
your little games
146
00:08:21,668 --> 00:08:24,135
and I'm tired of being
your little secretary.
147
00:08:24,137 --> 00:08:26,004
Here's the light bill.
I didn't pay it.
148
00:08:26,006 --> 00:08:28,573
Here's the cable bill.
I didn't pay that either.
149
00:08:28,575 --> 00:08:31,576
And here's the bill
for your car note.
150
00:08:31,578 --> 00:08:34,212
- I hope they take it!
- [car alarm]
151
00:08:34,214 --> 00:08:36,915
Wait a minute, that's my car!
152
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Hey, wait! Come back!
153
00:08:40,087 --> 00:08:43,588
I hate that piece of shit!
154
00:08:43,590 --> 00:08:44,856
I'm tired of
spending my time
155
00:08:44,858 --> 00:08:47,058
waiting for you
to quit acting like a child
156
00:08:47,060 --> 00:08:50,929
and act like a grown man
for a change, Mays!
157
00:08:50,931 --> 00:08:52,531
I need to get on
with my life!
158
00:08:52,533 --> 00:08:57,302
I want a house, I want children!
I want to go on vacation!
159
00:08:57,304 --> 00:08:59,704
You're horrible in bed!
160
00:08:59,706 --> 00:09:02,707
[she continues to rant]
161
00:09:06,746 --> 00:09:09,714
I wish you would.
162
00:09:12,852 --> 00:09:15,320
For the last time,
I'm not running for president.
163
00:09:15,322 --> 00:09:17,689
I'm not crazy!
Gaines was 20 points behind.
164
00:09:17,691 --> 00:09:19,791
It's ten weeks to
Election Day. Damn it.
165
00:09:19,793 --> 00:09:24,996
Those guys should've known
better than to talk on a
cell phone in a plane.
166
00:09:24,998 --> 00:09:27,032
- What about Sanderson?
- That's a joke!
167
00:09:27,034 --> 00:09:29,334
Lewis has been
vice president for eight years.
168
00:09:29,336 --> 00:09:32,003
He's a war hero and he's
Sharon Stone's cousin.
169
00:09:32,005 --> 00:09:33,972
- What about Mosley?
- Girls.
170
00:09:33,974 --> 00:09:35,273
- Connelly?
- Boys.
171
00:09:35,275 --> 00:09:36,908
- McMasters?
- Big boys!
172
00:09:36,910 --> 00:09:39,344
So what, we just concede
the election to Lewis?
173
00:09:39,346 --> 00:09:41,246
Nobody said anything
about conceding, Debra,
174
00:09:41,248 --> 00:09:45,717
but let's get real here.
We're going to lose this one.
175
00:09:45,719 --> 00:09:48,954
The thing to do is to set the
party up for the next election.
176
00:09:48,956 --> 00:09:52,324
We need a candidate that's
going to put on a good show.
177
00:09:52,326 --> 00:09:56,027
This isn't a circus,
it's a presidential election.
178
00:09:56,029 --> 00:10:00,932
You can't just pick some...
guy to run for president.
179
00:10:00,934 --> 00:10:05,036
This is unprecedented,
but if I put in a call
to the party chairman
180
00:10:05,038 --> 00:10:07,606
and we find a candidate,
he'll back him.
181
00:10:07,608 --> 00:10:10,709
Who's going to run a race
they know they can't win?
182
00:10:10,711 --> 00:10:12,077
Who says he has to know?
183
00:10:12,079 --> 00:10:13,144
[♪ '03 Bonnie And Clyde]
184
00:10:13,146 --> 00:10:15,680
♪ Young B cruisin' down
the westside highway ♪
185
00:10:15,682 --> 00:10:18,049
♪ Doin' what we
like to do our way ♪
186
00:10:18,051 --> 00:10:21,219
♪ Eyes behind shades
this necklace the reason... ♪
187
00:10:21,221 --> 00:10:23,855
What the...
188
00:10:33,666 --> 00:10:36,401
What now?
189
00:10:37,970 --> 00:10:44,709
Not my bike!
Not my bike! Not my bike!
190
00:10:44,711 --> 00:10:45,243
No!
191
00:10:45,245 --> 00:10:48,880
When I went in there, I wasn't
thinking about being a hero.
192
00:10:48,882 --> 00:10:51,149
I was just trying
to help Miss Pearl.
193
00:10:51,151 --> 00:10:53,218
- Miss Pearl.
- Miss Pearl.
194
00:10:53,220 --> 00:10:55,720
I think we found our man.
195
00:10:55,722 --> 00:10:57,889
Look at this! This is great!
196
00:10:57,891 --> 00:10:59,724
This is America, see?
197
00:10:59,726 --> 00:11:03,061
Little guy against big guy,
corporations against the people.
198
00:11:03,063 --> 00:11:05,330
Young versus old.
What's better than this?
199
00:11:05,332 --> 00:11:06,898
Come on!
Give me a break!
200
00:11:06,900 --> 00:11:09,100
I'm going to run
an alderman for president?
201
00:11:09,102 --> 00:11:15,106
No. He's not an alderman.
He's a hero.
202
00:11:15,108 --> 00:11:18,309
- Who doesn't like a hero?
- Big business loves a hero!
203
00:11:18,311 --> 00:11:19,778
- See?
- Bill...
204
00:11:19,780 --> 00:11:22,280
You said we needed somebody
who can help the party.
205
00:11:22,282 --> 00:11:25,316
How in the hell does
this guy help the party?
206
00:11:25,318 --> 00:11:27,118
I'm glad you asked.
See...
207
00:11:27,120 --> 00:11:29,354
United States is changing.
America's changing.
208
00:11:29,356 --> 00:11:31,289
Inside of 20 years...
you know the numbers.
209
00:11:31,291 --> 00:11:35,960
20 percent black, 21 percent
Asian, 39 percent Hispanic.
210
00:11:35,962 --> 00:11:37,929
The minorities
will be the majority.
211
00:11:37,931 --> 00:11:41,399
The smartest thing we can do
is be the first party
212
00:11:41,401 --> 00:11:44,302
to nominate a minority
or president.
213
00:11:44,304 --> 00:11:48,139
- How about a cripple?
- I don't think so, Charlie.
214
00:11:48,141 --> 00:11:52,477
We'll lose, of course. But
the minorities will be happy.
215
00:11:52,479 --> 00:11:56,014
The minorities will be happy
and they will vote for us
216
00:11:56,016 --> 00:11:58,283
in 2008 because
we've shown we support them.
217
00:11:58,285 --> 00:12:04,189
And the white people
will vote for us because...
our guy isn't black.
218
00:12:04,191 --> 00:12:04,989
You got my vote!
219
00:12:04,991 --> 00:12:07,158
Geller, why don't you see
if you can track down
220
00:12:07,160 --> 00:12:13,932
this Mays Gilliam?
Charlie, go check our accounts.
221
00:12:22,341 --> 00:12:25,176
Give me one good reason
why I should go along with this.
222
00:12:25,178 --> 00:12:31,015
Don't you get it? I intend
to run for president in 2008.
223
00:12:32,051 --> 00:12:36,521
You give me one reason
why you shouldn't.
224
00:12:39,258 --> 00:12:41,926
[stutters] He would
take a lot of work.
225
00:12:41,928 --> 00:12:43,161
We can run a background check,
226
00:12:43,163 --> 00:12:45,296
but it's obvious he's
not a party-line candidate.
227
00:12:45,298 --> 00:12:48,199
This is just some kid who thinks
he can make a difference.
228
00:12:48,201 --> 00:12:51,136
Don't worry about that.
You just the machine behind him.
229
00:12:51,138 --> 00:12:55,206
You get 25 points in the polls,
consider it a win.
230
00:12:55,208 --> 00:12:57,408
Make sure he doesn't
embarrass us.
231
00:12:57,410 --> 00:13:01,079
After this is over,
we get to work.
232
00:13:01,081 --> 00:13:06,017
When I'm president,
I'll take care of you.
233
00:13:06,285 --> 00:13:09,020
Coop, you gotta help me.
They locked me out of my office.
234
00:13:09,022 --> 00:13:13,057
I know. The mayor's
fed up with you.
235
00:13:13,059 --> 00:13:14,192
How many times
have I told you?
236
00:13:14,194 --> 00:13:16,094
You got to quit
trying to fix shit.
237
00:13:16,096 --> 00:13:19,364
I could've got you into the
council. Now you're red-lined!
238
00:13:19,366 --> 00:13:21,099
Shannon's taking over
your district.
239
00:13:21,101 --> 00:13:23,001
They need to smooth over
this mall situation,
240
00:13:23,003 --> 00:13:26,404
that bus thing is heating up!
They don't trust you.
241
00:13:26,406 --> 00:13:27,906
I'm not stealing
people's houses.
242
00:13:27,908 --> 00:13:29,474
That's your problem
right there.
243
00:13:29,476 --> 00:13:31,910
You gotta
work with us, Mays.
244
00:13:31,912 --> 00:13:35,113
That shit you pulled over there
cost the city money.
245
00:13:35,115 --> 00:13:37,315
Makes the mayor look bad.
246
00:13:37,317 --> 00:13:39,250
Contrary to popular belief,
247
00:13:39,252 --> 00:13:41,986
politics is no place
to express yourself.
248
00:13:41,988 --> 00:13:44,022
You want to get in,
you got to fit in.
249
00:13:44,024 --> 00:13:47,225
And look at you. Grow up,
you got to dress better.
250
00:13:47,227 --> 00:13:51,095
Even Puff Daddy
wears a suit to court.
251
00:13:52,198 --> 00:13:56,835
I'm sorry, brother,
but ain't nothing I can do.
252
00:13:59,038 --> 00:13:59,938
Nice car.
253
00:13:59,940 --> 00:14:04,976
Ain't it, though? Got it for
a song at the repo auction.
254
00:14:07,313 --> 00:14:09,347
♪ Look for me
Young B ♪
255
00:14:09,349 --> 00:14:12,116
♪ Cruisin' down the westside
highway ♪
256
00:14:12,118 --> 00:14:15,019
[thunderclap]
257
00:14:24,363 --> 00:14:26,464
[instrumental music plays]
258
00:14:26,466 --> 00:14:28,533
♪ He feels bad, mighty low ♪
259
00:14:28,535 --> 00:14:30,335
♪ Got nowhere to go ♪
260
00:14:30,337 --> 00:14:33,471
♪ What can you do
when you're feeling low? ♪
261
00:14:33,473 --> 00:14:35,206
♪ Man, I want to know ♪
262
00:14:35,208 --> 00:14:39,577
♪ He feels bad, mighty low
Got nowhere to go ♪
263
00:14:39,579 --> 00:14:43,248
♪ What can you do
when you're feeling low ♪
264
00:14:43,250 --> 00:14:47,085
♪ And your car
just got repo'd? ♪
265
00:14:47,087 --> 00:14:49,988
Mays Gilliam?
266
00:15:15,514 --> 00:15:16,681
Here we are.
267
00:15:16,683 --> 00:15:20,051
Mays Gilliam,
Debra Lassiter.
268
00:15:20,085 --> 00:15:24,255
Nice to meet you.
Take a seat.
269
00:15:28,127 --> 00:15:32,463
We know what happened today.
We know you lost your job.
270
00:15:32,465 --> 00:15:34,299
How do you know that?
It just happened.
271
00:15:34,301 --> 00:15:36,701
We're the government.
We know everything.
272
00:15:36,703 --> 00:15:39,270
We'd like you
to do something for us.
273
00:15:39,272 --> 00:15:43,341
Sure, I'd love to work on
a presidential campaign.
274
00:15:43,343 --> 00:15:46,544
I'll make phone calls,
send out fliers.
275
00:15:46,546 --> 00:15:49,547
Who have you guys chosen
to run against Lewis?
276
00:15:49,549 --> 00:15:53,017
Well, that's exactly what
we wanted to talk to you about.
277
00:15:53,019 --> 00:15:57,722
We'd like you
to run for president.
278
00:16:03,195 --> 00:16:07,298
- Of what?
- The United States.
279
00:16:07,300 --> 00:16:09,200
- Of what?
- Of America.
280
00:16:09,202 --> 00:16:13,604
- Which America?
- North America, Mays.
281
00:16:13,606 --> 00:16:18,676
- Get outta here!
- We're not joking!
282
00:16:18,678 --> 00:16:20,044
We want you to be the nominee
283
00:16:20,046 --> 00:16:24,682
for President of the
United States of America.
284
00:16:25,284 --> 00:16:28,186
[triumphant music plays]
285
00:16:28,220 --> 00:16:29,220
[gunshot]
286
00:16:29,222 --> 00:16:31,055
Okay, let me
get this straight.
287
00:16:31,057 --> 00:16:33,191
You guys couldn't find
anybody else to run?
288
00:16:33,193 --> 00:16:36,260
You couldn't find nobody?
Something's wrong here.
289
00:16:36,262 --> 00:16:39,764
You couldn't find
a congressman, a senator?
290
00:16:39,766 --> 00:16:43,601
- I'm just an alderman.
- Congressmen, senators...
291
00:16:43,603 --> 00:16:46,104
They work with
other politicians.
292
00:16:46,106 --> 00:16:48,506
You're an alderman.
You work with the people.
293
00:16:48,508 --> 00:16:52,276
And that's what we want,
a man of the people.
294
00:16:52,278 --> 00:16:54,178
This is a big joke, right?
295
00:16:54,180 --> 00:16:56,214
They got a hidden camera
somewhere.
296
00:16:56,216 --> 00:16:58,016
Y'all gonna get
a big laugh out of this.
297
00:16:58,018 --> 00:16:59,384
Know what? I don't even care.
298
00:16:59,386 --> 00:17:01,519
'Cause one of y'all's
gonna drive me home
299
00:17:01,521 --> 00:17:04,122
'cause my bike is messed up.
300
00:17:04,124 --> 00:17:05,023
You an American, Mays?
301
00:17:05,025 --> 00:17:09,260
- Wow! It's Bill Arnot.
- You an American?
302
00:17:09,262 --> 00:17:11,629
- Yes.
- Mays...
303
00:17:11,631 --> 00:17:14,599
This isn't just an election.
It's a moment.
304
00:17:14,601 --> 00:17:17,135
This is the moment when
you have the opportunity
305
00:17:17,137 --> 00:17:18,403
to show little
boys and girls,
306
00:17:18,405 --> 00:17:22,140
men and women,
what America's all about.
307
00:17:22,142 --> 00:17:24,075
Look at that.
308
00:17:24,077 --> 00:17:27,045
When I see that I think
of our forefathers fighting
309
00:17:27,047 --> 00:17:29,380
to make this country
what it is.
310
00:17:29,382 --> 00:17:32,250
And I think about the guy
who's gotta scrub
311
00:17:32,252 --> 00:17:35,153
Lincoln's balls
for minimum wage.
312
00:17:35,155 --> 00:17:36,587
That's why we want you.
313
00:17:36,589 --> 00:17:40,091
You care about
the little people.
314
00:17:40,093 --> 00:17:43,127
So what's it gonna be?
315
00:17:56,308 --> 00:18:00,578
It gives me great honor
to accept the party's
nomination
316
00:18:00,580 --> 00:18:06,684
for President of the
United States of America.
317
00:18:07,453 --> 00:18:12,824
No!
318
00:18:14,226 --> 00:18:16,694
Welcome to your
campaign headquarters.
319
00:18:16,696 --> 00:18:21,666
These folks are going to do
everything they can
to help you get elected.
320
00:18:21,668 --> 00:18:24,435
These are your people.
321
00:18:24,437 --> 00:18:25,837
Oh, here.
Take a look at this.
322
00:18:25,839 --> 00:18:30,308
Hey Mark, is that cued up?
Roll it, please.
323
00:18:31,410 --> 00:18:34,479
There we go. [chuckles]
324
00:18:37,116 --> 00:18:38,416
This is a great spot.
325
00:18:38,418 --> 00:18:45,690
[voiceover] If you love
America, vote Mays Gilliam
for president.
326
00:18:47,426 --> 00:18:50,194
- Huh?
- But... I'm not in it.
327
00:18:50,196 --> 00:18:52,497
You don't even see my face.
328
00:18:52,499 --> 00:18:55,299
It's a template. We'll
get you in there eventually.
329
00:18:55,301 --> 00:18:57,768
There's a couple of people
I want you to meet.
330
00:18:57,770 --> 00:19:01,172
This is your security director,
Mr. Earl.
331
00:19:01,174 --> 00:19:02,406
You're going to be
in good hands.
332
00:19:02,408 --> 00:19:04,308
Pleased to meet you.
If you're ever in trouble,
333
00:19:04,310 --> 00:19:07,478
yell "Security!" And my people
will handle the situation.
334
00:19:07,480 --> 00:19:11,282
This is your decoy, Mays Junior.
He enters all events before you.
335
00:19:11,284 --> 00:19:14,485
If anything's going to happen to
you it'll happen to him first.
336
00:19:14,487 --> 00:19:15,753
Tupac could have used
a guy like you.
337
00:19:15,755 --> 00:19:20,625
This is Nicollette White,
your executive director
of internal liaisons.
338
00:19:20,627 --> 00:19:23,227
You can call me Nikki. It will
be a pleasure to serve you.
339
00:19:23,229 --> 00:19:27,465
I'm available to you around
the clock. Just let me know.
340
00:19:27,467 --> 00:19:31,569
- Now, what does she do?
- Oh... she sleeps with you.
341
00:19:31,571 --> 00:19:33,938
We got tired of getting
caught up in sex scandals,
342
00:19:33,940 --> 00:19:36,274
so we commissioned our
own team of super whores.
343
00:19:36,276 --> 00:19:40,411
You call yourself whores? Move
that fat ass! One, two, three!
344
00:19:40,413 --> 00:19:43,814
- These girls are good.
- Good morning, Mays.
345
00:19:43,816 --> 00:19:45,816
I took the liberty of
choosing options for
346
00:19:45,818 --> 00:19:49,487
this evening's fundraiser.
You don't mind, do you?
347
00:19:49,489 --> 00:19:50,721
I'll wear whatever
you need me to wear.
348
00:19:50,723 --> 00:19:54,825
- What fundraiser is this?
- It's your coming out party.
349
00:19:54,827 --> 00:19:55,726
Campaigns cost money.
350
00:19:55,728 --> 00:19:58,362
The people you meet tonight
have plenty of it.
351
00:19:58,364 --> 00:20:00,331
Geller and I are going
to advance the party.
352
00:20:00,333 --> 00:20:03,568
Mr. Earl will bring you
eight o'clock sharp.
353
00:20:03,570 --> 00:20:05,570
Here are your
off-the-cuff remarks.
354
00:20:05,572 --> 00:20:08,906
Learn them. See you later.
355
00:20:13,412 --> 00:20:15,580
[torrent of questions]
356
00:20:15,582 --> 00:20:19,283
Remember, sir,
just nod and move.
357
00:20:19,285 --> 00:20:20,718
[questions]
358
00:20:20,720 --> 00:20:22,286
What do you plan
to do about taxes?
359
00:20:22,288 --> 00:20:24,922
Do you support
paternal leave incentives?
360
00:20:24,924 --> 00:20:27,758
Get my demo to somebody.
Anybody, please.
361
00:20:27,760 --> 00:20:30,294
Don't take unscreened packages.
Security reasons.
362
00:20:30,296 --> 00:20:33,297
Mays, you have some people
to talk to. Tomorrow, work.
363
00:20:33,299 --> 00:20:36,767
Tonight, smile, shake hands
and be nice to the wives.
364
00:20:36,769 --> 00:20:38,236
I'll double-check
the P.A. system.
365
00:20:38,238 --> 00:20:39,837
You'll make a
brief statement at 11.
366
00:20:39,839 --> 00:20:42,573
- Let's go.
- Let's go.
367
00:20:48,780 --> 00:20:52,350
- Alderman, a pleasure.
- Hi, how you doing?
368
00:20:52,352 --> 00:20:55,319
You all right.
369
00:20:55,988 --> 00:20:59,624
- I wish you luck, sir.
- Arigatou.
370
00:20:59,626 --> 00:21:02,326
[barrage of questions]
371
00:21:02,328 --> 00:21:03,461
It's a bit like Timberland,
372
00:21:03,463 --> 00:21:04,996
and I got a bit of
Missy moving up there,
373
00:21:04,998 --> 00:21:07,999
but I'm trying to go through
that Neptune kind of feel.
374
00:21:08,001 --> 00:21:10,635
Excuse me,
the Teamsters are here.
375
00:21:10,637 --> 00:21:12,503
What are you doing
talking to the help?
376
00:21:12,505 --> 00:21:14,472
Gentlemen,
Mr. Mays Gilliam.
377
00:21:14,474 --> 00:21:18,276
Guys, I just want to say I'm all
for labor, I'm all for unions.
378
00:21:18,278 --> 00:21:21,512
But you know and I know that you
guys are gonna endorse Lewis.
379
00:21:21,514 --> 00:21:23,848
We're gonna do
what's best for the Union.
380
00:21:23,850 --> 00:21:26,284
Have you decided
on a running mate?
381
00:21:26,286 --> 00:21:27,018
We're thinking about it.
382
00:21:27,020 --> 00:21:28,452
We think you should
consider Sanders.
383
00:21:28,454 --> 00:21:32,456
We're considering
several options.
384
00:21:32,458 --> 00:21:34,692
- Excuse me.
- Well, that depends.
385
00:21:34,694 --> 00:21:39,830
- What's up with this guy?
- Check out track four.
386
00:21:45,604 --> 00:21:46,771
So what do you have there?
387
00:21:46,773 --> 00:21:50,474
We got some shrimp puffs
and some cheese snacks.
388
00:21:50,476 --> 00:21:51,575
Just some... finger foods.
389
00:21:51,577 --> 00:21:55,646
Thought that was you.
What's up with the two jobs?
Bad credit?
390
00:21:55,648 --> 00:21:57,481
Why do I have
to have bad credit?
391
00:21:57,483 --> 00:22:00,551
Why can't I be saving up
for a car or for school?
392
00:22:00,553 --> 00:22:03,354
Maybe I like to work.
Excuse me.
393
00:22:03,356 --> 00:22:06,557
Hey, I'm sorry. You know what?
I never got your name.
394
00:22:06,559 --> 00:22:08,759
- Lisa. Lisa Clark.
- Hey, Lisa Clark. Mays.
395
00:22:08,761 --> 00:22:12,630
- So why are you being so rude?
- I'm not trying to be rude.
I'm working.
396
00:22:12,632 --> 00:22:16,067
We're not supposed to mingle.
Plus, I don't know you.
397
00:22:16,069 --> 00:22:19,570
- You know me.
- No, I don't know you.
398
00:22:19,572 --> 00:22:20,404
But you know me.
399
00:22:20,406 --> 00:22:22,640
You've come to the gas
station a couple of times
400
00:22:22,642 --> 00:22:25,843
and I see you,
but I don't know you.
401
00:22:25,845 --> 00:22:27,645
Well, let's get
to know each other.
402
00:22:27,647 --> 00:22:29,447
- Come on, let's dance.
- I have to work.
403
00:22:29,449 --> 00:22:31,449
I know you're working.
I'm working too,
404
00:22:31,451 --> 00:22:33,517
so let's keep working.
You want to dance?
405
00:22:33,519 --> 00:22:36,354
- You'll get me in trouble.
- Hit it!
406
00:22:36,356 --> 00:22:39,490
[♪ Nelly: Hot In Herre]
407
00:22:42,594 --> 00:22:44,862
I cannot believe you
got me out here like this.
408
00:22:44,864 --> 00:22:48,899
- But you like it, right?
- A little.
409
00:22:48,901 --> 00:22:50,501
♪ And a little bit of... ♪
410
00:22:50,503 --> 00:22:53,637
♪ Good gracious
ass is bodacious ♪
411
00:22:53,639 --> 00:22:56,540
♪ Flirtatious
tryin' to show patience ♪
412
00:22:56,542 --> 00:22:58,109
Uh-oh. I'm feeling it.
I'm feeling it.
413
00:22:58,111 --> 00:22:59,977
♪ Lookin' for the right time
to flash them keys ♪
414
00:22:59,979 --> 00:23:03,948
♪ No deceivin', nothin' up
my sleeve and, no teasin' ♪
415
00:23:03,950 --> 00:23:06,984
♪ I need you to get up
up on the dance floor ♪
416
00:23:06,986 --> 00:23:10,588
♪ Give that man
what he askin' for ♪
417
00:23:10,590 --> 00:23:13,124
Go ahead, girl. Work it!
418
00:23:13,126 --> 00:23:15,526
♪ And can't nobody
stop the juice ♪
419
00:23:15,528 --> 00:23:17,461
♪ So, baby, tell me
what's the use ♪
420
00:23:17,463 --> 00:23:20,030
♪ I said
It's gettin' hot in here ♪
421
00:23:20,032 --> 00:23:21,031
♪ So hot ♪
422
00:23:21,033 --> 00:23:23,501
♪ So take off
all your clothes ♪
423
00:23:23,503 --> 00:23:24,969
Oh, my God!
424
00:23:24,971 --> 00:23:29,974
- I gotta get back to work.
- Come on, stay. Come on!
425
00:23:29,976 --> 00:23:32,510
♪ So take off
all your clothes ♪
426
00:23:32,512 --> 00:23:33,611
♪ I am gettin' so hot ♪
427
00:23:33,613 --> 00:23:36,947
Come on, brother. I know
you know how to do this dance.
428
00:23:36,949 --> 00:23:37,915
Sorry, I don't.
429
00:23:37,917 --> 00:23:41,185
I know you know how
to do the Electric Slide.
430
00:23:41,187 --> 00:23:45,022
No, I can't say
that I do.
431
00:23:45,490 --> 00:23:46,757
Get your ass in there.
432
00:23:46,759 --> 00:23:48,826
♪ Ash tray
think it's time to spark it ♪
433
00:23:48,828 --> 00:23:51,595
♪ So take it off
like you're home alone ♪
434
00:23:51,597 --> 00:23:53,464
- What the hell is this?
- Where's Mays?
435
00:23:53,466 --> 00:23:56,734
♪ Checkin' your reflection
and tellin' your best friend ♪
436
00:23:56,736 --> 00:23:59,970
- Over there.
- Oh, my God!
437
00:23:59,972 --> 00:24:01,906
We've got to stop this.
Excuse us.
438
00:24:01,908 --> 00:24:06,944
♪ I am getting so hot
I'm gonna take my clothes off ♪
439
00:24:06,946 --> 00:24:10,815
- What do you think
you're doing?
- Stop it.
440
00:24:10,817 --> 00:24:14,985
Come on, man. I'm just
trying to get the party started.
441
00:24:14,987 --> 00:24:16,687
Throw your hands in the air!
442
00:24:16,689 --> 00:24:18,889
And wave 'em like
you just don't care.
443
00:24:18,891 --> 00:24:20,925
And if I got
your vote for president,
444
00:24:20,927 --> 00:24:23,961
let me hear you say
"Oh, yeah!"
445
00:24:23,963 --> 00:24:25,896
[all] Oh, yeah!
446
00:24:26,731 --> 00:24:28,899
Shake that ass, Grandma!
447
00:24:28,901 --> 00:24:30,868
Let me see you bounce!
448
00:24:30,870 --> 00:24:33,571
Bounce! Bounce! Bounce!
449
00:24:33,573 --> 00:24:35,039
We got a couple
of freaks over there.
450
00:24:35,041 --> 00:24:38,909
[♪ Dr. Dre feat. Snoop Dogg,
Nate Dnogg: The Next Episode]
451
00:24:38,977 --> 00:24:43,581
Let me see you shake!
"C" walk!
452
00:24:43,583 --> 00:24:47,585
♪ Hey, for my niggaz
who be thinkin' we soft ♪
453
00:24:47,587 --> 00:24:53,591
The roof, the roof,
the roof is on fire!
454
00:24:55,126 --> 00:24:59,797
- The roof is on fire!
- No, no!
455
00:24:59,831 --> 00:25:02,700
It's a saying.
456
00:25:03,134 --> 00:25:05,836
It's just a saying. Come back!
457
00:25:05,838 --> 00:25:10,241
- Aagghh!
- You turned the party out.
458
00:25:10,243 --> 00:25:11,942
I've never seen
anything like it.
459
00:25:11,944 --> 00:25:15,746
Great party.
Too bad about the fire.
460
00:25:15,748 --> 00:25:18,782
- So where are you off to now?
- I'm not even sure.
461
00:25:18,784 --> 00:25:23,287
We start campaigning tomorrow.
We'll be all over the country.
462
00:25:23,289 --> 00:25:26,123
- You need a ride home?
- No, I still have to clean up.
463
00:25:26,125 --> 00:25:27,758
I don't know
how long it's going to take.
464
00:25:27,760 --> 00:25:31,095
I could wait.
Are you sure? I mean,
465
00:25:31,097 --> 00:25:33,130
I could send a car
to pick you up.
466
00:25:33,132 --> 00:25:35,065
No. Thanks, but I gotta go.
467
00:25:35,067 --> 00:25:40,938
- It was good seeing you again.
- You too, buddy, old pal.
468
00:25:41,206 --> 00:25:44,308
- Can I get a good night kiss?
- No.
469
00:25:44,310 --> 00:25:45,643
[mimics] No.
470
00:25:45,645 --> 00:25:47,711
- I'm coming.
- She's coming!
471
00:25:47,713 --> 00:25:54,618
I gotta go. Good luck and call
me if you get a chance. Okay?
472
00:25:54,686 --> 00:25:56,587
- Didn't you see me talking?
- [Geller] Mays!
473
00:25:56,589 --> 00:26:00,224
- What kind of display was that?
- I was trying to get
the party started.
474
00:26:00,226 --> 00:26:05,129
If the party needs to get
started, I'll handle it.
475
00:26:05,131 --> 00:26:06,096
Just do what we say.
476
00:26:06,098 --> 00:26:10,267
I don't think everybody
appreciated what you did
in there.
477
00:26:10,269 --> 00:26:11,569
We really had a great time.
478
00:26:11,571 --> 00:26:14,872
It was off the
hizzle for shizzle.
479
00:26:14,874 --> 00:26:18,108
- They liked it.
- I don't care what they liked.
480
00:26:18,110 --> 00:26:20,911
Mays, darling!
481
00:26:23,682 --> 00:26:26,250
Are you done yet? No?
If not, it's okay. I can wait.
482
00:26:26,252 --> 00:26:31,155
But if we hurry, we'll be able
to get a table at Jezebel's.
[titters]
483
00:26:31,157 --> 00:26:34,692
Oh. Good evening.
We're getting married.
484
00:26:34,694 --> 00:26:38,829
I'm exhausted. [laughs]
You know what I can't decide?
485
00:26:38,831 --> 00:26:42,633
Whether we should
have a DJ or a band.
486
00:26:42,635 --> 00:26:44,001
DJ, band. DJ, band.
487
00:26:44,003 --> 00:26:46,704
- Security!
- [screams]
488
00:26:46,706 --> 00:26:48,606
[tires screech]
489
00:27:00,318 --> 00:27:03,621
Thank you for inviting me
to the land of milk and honey.
490
00:27:03,623 --> 00:27:06,056
It's you people,
the dairy people,
491
00:27:06,058 --> 00:27:08,926
people that make eggs,
milk, cheese,
492
00:27:08,928 --> 00:27:11,795
butter, bacon,
that make the country great.
493
00:27:11,797 --> 00:27:17,101
Milk makes the body good
and you make the country good.
494
00:27:19,371 --> 00:27:23,874
Thank you for inviting me
to Memphis, Tennessee.
495
00:27:23,876 --> 00:27:26,377
It's people like you,
the church people,
496
00:27:26,379 --> 00:27:32,216
who are the backbone
and the spirit of this
great land of ours.
497
00:27:32,218 --> 00:27:38,122
I love the Lord, and I love
the King, Elvis Presley!
498
00:27:40,358 --> 00:27:46,230
I want to thank you for inviting
me to the Lone Star State.
499
00:27:47,265 --> 00:27:50,134
Home of the cowboys!
500
00:27:50,136 --> 00:27:52,102
How 'bout them cowboys!
501
00:27:52,104 --> 00:27:55,105
It's people like you,
the ranchers,
502
00:27:55,107 --> 00:27:58,809
who are the backbone
of this country.
503
00:27:58,811 --> 00:28:03,414
Before I go, I got
one more thing to say.
504
00:28:03,416 --> 00:28:08,018
♪ The stars at night
are big and bright ♪
505
00:28:08,020 --> 00:28:11,822
♪ Deep in the heart of Texas ♪
506
00:28:14,759 --> 00:28:15,325
It's not bad.
507
00:28:15,327 --> 00:28:17,861
Am I gonna get
another speech soon?
508
00:28:17,863 --> 00:28:19,229
Why? What's the matter
with this speech?
509
00:28:19,231 --> 00:28:23,400
Seems like I should be talking
about something more relevant.
510
00:28:23,402 --> 00:28:25,469
- Relevant?
- People were cheering,
511
00:28:25,471 --> 00:28:27,471
but they would cheer
if I read them a recipe.
512
00:28:27,473 --> 00:28:30,107
It's not working. I'm only
one point up in the polls.
513
00:28:30,109 --> 00:28:34,244
Don't worry about polls. They're
a sampling. Polls change.
514
00:28:34,246 --> 00:28:35,746
Don't get ahead
of yourself.
515
00:28:35,748 --> 00:28:38,716
We're here to help. Besides,
the people really like you.
516
00:28:38,718 --> 00:28:40,851
Cheer up, we'll be
in Chicago in a few days.
517
00:28:40,853 --> 00:28:42,052
You got a brother
there, don't you?
518
00:28:42,054 --> 00:28:45,055
That's when the people find out
what you're all about.
519
00:28:45,057 --> 00:28:48,058
But I don't even know
what I'm all about.
520
00:28:48,060 --> 00:28:50,461
♪ He's a hero of common folk ♪
521
00:28:50,463 --> 00:28:54,164
♪ Struttin' through
the promise land ♪
522
00:28:54,166 --> 00:28:55,332
[man] In the latest polls,
523
00:28:55,334 --> 00:28:57,801
Mays Gilliam is up just
one point to ten percent
524
00:28:57,803 --> 00:29:01,872
while Vice President
Brian Lewis still holds
a commanding 84 percent.
525
00:29:01,874 --> 00:29:05,209
Six percent don't know
who they're voting for.
526
00:29:05,211 --> 00:29:07,077
They just know
it's not Gilliam.
527
00:29:07,079 --> 00:29:10,314
When you get out there,
listen to the crowd.
528
00:29:10,316 --> 00:29:12,249
Talk to them,
make it look like
529
00:29:12,251 --> 00:29:14,785
you believe in
what you're saying.
530
00:29:14,787 --> 00:29:15,319
OK.
531
00:29:15,321 --> 00:29:17,788
I know we haven't
always seen eye to eye,
532
00:29:17,790 --> 00:29:19,823
but this is
very important.
533
00:29:19,825 --> 00:29:22,960
- I can't stress that enough.
- Alderman Gilliam?
534
00:29:22,962 --> 00:29:25,496
There's a Mitch Gilliam outside.
He says he's your brother.
535
00:29:25,498 --> 00:29:31,535
- Mitch? Send him in.
- Tonight, America
is going to get
536
00:29:31,537 --> 00:29:33,804
its first impressions
of Mays Gilliam.
537
00:29:33,806 --> 00:29:38,075
You know what they say
about first impressions.
538
00:29:38,476 --> 00:29:39,843
Look at my
little brother.
539
00:29:39,845 --> 00:29:42,012
You said you were gonna
call me when you got into town!
540
00:29:42,014 --> 00:29:45,082
I was trying to call you, but
I've been doing press all day.
541
00:29:45,084 --> 00:29:47,518
My little brother,
running for president!
542
00:29:47,520 --> 00:29:50,420
Let me introduce you to
Martin Geller, Debra Lassiter.
543
00:29:50,422 --> 00:29:55,225
What's happening, baby?
Thank you for what you're
doing for my brother.
544
00:29:55,227 --> 00:29:58,395
- How 'bout you, thriller?
- Nice to meet you.
545
00:29:58,397 --> 00:30:02,299
- What do you do for a living?
- Well, I'm a bail bondsman.
546
00:30:02,301 --> 00:30:06,236
- Got an office
on the southside.
- Bail bondsman...!
547
00:30:06,238 --> 00:30:08,372
Yes, sir.
548
00:30:08,374 --> 00:30:13,443
Wow. A bail bondsman.
Well, that... that's...
549
00:30:13,445 --> 00:30:16,313
- How's business?
- I'll tell you how business is.
550
00:30:16,315 --> 00:30:20,217
Business is great.
Thank God for crime.
551
00:30:21,219 --> 00:30:25,589
Thank God for crime!
Could y'all give us a minute?
552
00:30:26,825 --> 00:30:28,258
Five.
553
00:30:28,260 --> 00:30:31,328
Yow!
Nice, real nice.
554
00:30:31,330 --> 00:30:35,499
Look at you, man. I see you
all on the shows, politicking.
555
00:30:35,501 --> 00:30:39,036
Like the way your campaign
going? So. Look at yourself.
556
00:30:39,038 --> 00:30:43,140
Let me ask you something.
When they gonna let you speak?
557
00:30:43,142 --> 00:30:45,509
I've been talking
all day to the press.
558
00:30:45,511 --> 00:30:49,112
You been talking, but when they
gonna let you speak your mind?
559
00:30:49,114 --> 00:30:51,949
This ain't you. You gonna say
this shit? This shit is booty.
560
00:30:51,951 --> 00:30:56,053
Say this if you want to,
watch that man come sweep
your butt offstage.
561
00:30:56,055 --> 00:30:59,923
Look at this poster...
"Mays". Who are they
talking about? Willie?
562
00:30:59,925 --> 00:31:04,061
Let me tell you something.
These are everyday folk,
working people.
563
00:31:04,063 --> 00:31:07,531
These are laborers.
Construction workers. Nurses.
564
00:31:07,533 --> 00:31:09,600
You play the game
when you working for them.
565
00:31:09,602 --> 00:31:14,605
This is your campaign.
You supposed to be in charge.
566
00:31:15,440 --> 00:31:21,111
- It's time, Mays.
- I gotta go.
567
00:31:22,947 --> 00:31:26,984
I love you, man,
and I'm with you no matter what.
568
00:31:26,986 --> 00:31:27,584
Okay?
569
00:31:27,586 --> 00:31:31,521
- Go get 'em.
- See you out there.
570
00:31:31,556 --> 00:31:33,490
Hey, Mays.
571
00:31:33,492 --> 00:31:34,458
Speak.
572
00:31:34,460 --> 00:31:37,427
[cheering]
573
00:31:37,429 --> 00:31:42,165
[man] Chicago, please welcome
your next president,
574
00:31:42,167 --> 00:31:46,103
Alderman Mays Gilliam.
575
00:32:04,222 --> 00:32:07,291
What the hell
is he doing?
576
00:32:09,527 --> 00:32:16,566
They had a speech written for me
about what the people need.
577
00:32:16,568 --> 00:32:19,269
But you guys are the people.
578
00:32:19,271 --> 00:32:21,538
You know what you need.
579
00:32:21,540 --> 00:32:25,075
Better schools, better jobs.
580
00:32:25,077 --> 00:32:28,679
- Less crime.
- [man] Right on!
581
00:32:29,314 --> 00:32:33,650
How many of you
right now work two jobs
582
00:32:33,652 --> 00:32:37,454
just to have enough money
to be broke?
583
00:32:37,456 --> 00:32:39,356
- That ain't right.
- [man] Sounds like my brother!
584
00:32:39,358 --> 00:32:43,026
If you work two jobs,
and at the end of the week
585
00:32:43,028 --> 00:32:46,964
you got just enough money
to get your broke ass home,
586
00:32:46,966 --> 00:32:49,666
let me hear you say,
"That ain't right!"
587
00:32:49,668 --> 00:32:51,702
[all] That ain't right!
588
00:32:51,704 --> 00:32:57,441
How many of you have children
that they call stupid?
589
00:32:57,443 --> 00:33:00,310
Don't be ashamed.
It ain't your fault.
590
00:33:00,312 --> 00:33:03,380
I asked my niece the other day,
"What's 4 + 4?"
591
00:33:03,382 --> 00:33:04,281
She said, "44."
592
00:33:04,283 --> 00:33:06,750
That ain't her fault,
that's the school's fault.
593
00:33:06,752 --> 00:33:13,390
If your child's school has
old-ass books and brand-new
metal detectors,
594
00:33:13,392 --> 00:33:15,492
let me hear you say,
"That ain't right!"
595
00:33:15,494 --> 00:33:18,328
- That ain't right!
- [Mays] It ain't right!
596
00:33:18,330 --> 00:33:23,266
Now we got these corporations
stealing all the money.
597
00:33:23,268 --> 00:33:28,171
They ain't stealing their money,
they stealing our money!
The pension.
598
00:33:28,173 --> 00:33:29,239
You work for 35 years,
599
00:33:29,241 --> 00:33:32,342
you thought you was gonna
leave your kids a will,
600
00:33:32,344 --> 00:33:34,344
now you gonna
leave them a won't!
601
00:33:34,346 --> 00:33:38,081
You show up to get your pension,
they give you a pen!
602
00:33:38,083 --> 00:33:41,518
A damn pen! Now what the hell
am I supposed to do with a pen?
603
00:33:41,520 --> 00:33:46,790
I should have stabbed you
in the neck with this pen,
Mr. Pension Taker.
604
00:33:46,792 --> 00:33:48,125
Get your hand out of my pocket!
605
00:33:48,127 --> 00:33:53,063
Takin' everybody's pension,
and nobody going to jail.
606
00:33:53,065 --> 00:33:54,531
That's bullshit.
607
00:33:54,533 --> 00:33:58,535
Meanwhile, you or I,
we steal a Big Mac with cheese,
608
00:33:58,537 --> 00:34:01,071
next thing you know,
we on Death Row.
609
00:34:01,073 --> 00:34:05,108
That ain't right!
610
00:34:05,610 --> 00:34:11,481
How many of you work in a city
you can't afford to live in?
611
00:34:11,483 --> 00:34:12,783
That ain't right.
612
00:34:12,785 --> 00:34:17,320
How many of you work in a mall
you can't afford to shop in?
613
00:34:17,322 --> 00:34:18,622
That ain't right.
614
00:34:18,624 --> 00:34:20,357
How many of you
clean up a hotel
615
00:34:20,359 --> 00:34:23,660
you ain't never
gonna be able to stay in?
616
00:34:23,662 --> 00:34:27,597
- That ain't right!
- That ain't right!
617
00:34:28,299 --> 00:34:34,371
We got nurses that work in
hospitals they can't even
afford to get sick in.
618
00:34:34,373 --> 00:34:35,405
That ain't right!
619
00:34:35,407 --> 00:34:40,844
It ain't right! It ain't right.
It ain't right.
620
00:34:40,846 --> 00:34:43,713
It isn't right!
621
00:34:43,815 --> 00:34:47,484
That shit is wrong!
622
00:34:49,253 --> 00:34:52,155
It's dead wrong.
623
00:34:54,725 --> 00:34:55,525
I'm Mays Gilliam
624
00:34:55,527 --> 00:35:00,130
and I'm running for President
of the United States of America.
625
00:35:00,132 --> 00:35:04,468
[crowd chants] That ain't right!
626
00:35:05,236 --> 00:35:08,338
[chant continues]
627
00:35:09,173 --> 00:35:10,207
No questions.
628
00:35:10,209 --> 00:35:14,644
- [Debra] Move!
- Mays, Mays, Mays. Mays!
629
00:35:14,646 --> 00:35:17,547
You go to work.
Handle your business.
630
00:35:17,549 --> 00:35:20,383
- If you need me, you call me.
- I'm gonna call you.
631
00:35:20,385 --> 00:35:24,454
Are you insane?
You can't go in front of
5,000 people and just talk!
632
00:35:24,456 --> 00:35:28,658
You said "shit". Presidential
candidates do not say "shit".
633
00:35:28,660 --> 00:35:31,161
Show me a grown man
that's never said "shit",
634
00:35:31,163 --> 00:35:32,662
I'll show you
somebody full of shit.
635
00:35:32,664 --> 00:35:35,665
Debra, hold on.
What you just did...
636
00:35:35,667 --> 00:35:39,836
That was great. Maybe we could
tailor the speeches more to you.
637
00:35:39,838 --> 00:35:42,639
- My speeches?
- Come on! Did you hear them?
638
00:35:42,641 --> 00:35:45,175
If this thing is going to work,
then it's got to fit me.
639
00:35:45,177 --> 00:35:47,377
- It's gotta be my campaign.
- This is not your campaign.
640
00:35:47,379 --> 00:35:51,481
You will do what I tell you
to or you'll be back in D.C.
on your damn bicycle.
641
00:35:51,483 --> 00:35:53,884
I'm the one that's running
for president here.
642
00:35:53,886 --> 00:35:57,387
If we're gonna run this
campaign, it's got to go my way.
643
00:35:57,389 --> 00:35:59,489
We're gonna do it
the way I want it done.
644
00:35:59,491 --> 00:36:02,559
Hold on, I don't know
if that's such a good idea.
645
00:36:02,561 --> 00:36:05,428
If you don't know,
you better ask somebody.
646
00:36:05,430 --> 00:36:06,830
[♪ DMX: Who We Be]
647
00:36:06,832 --> 00:36:08,832
♪ What they don't know is
The bull, the drama ♪
648
00:36:08,834 --> 00:36:11,368
♪ The... The armor
The city, the farmer ♪
649
00:36:11,370 --> 00:36:14,204
♪ The babies, the mama
The projects, the drugs ♪
650
00:36:14,206 --> 00:36:17,407
♪ The children, the thugs
The tears, the hugs ♪
651
00:36:17,409 --> 00:36:19,910
- ♪ The love, the slugs ♪
- [woman] After a slow start,
652
00:36:19,912 --> 00:36:25,582
Mays Gilliam has made changes
in his presidential campaign.
653
00:36:25,584 --> 00:36:27,317
♪ They don't know ♪
654
00:36:27,319 --> 00:36:30,487
♪ Who we be ♪
655
00:36:30,588 --> 00:36:32,622
♪ They don't know ♪
656
00:36:32,624 --> 00:36:36,293
- ♪ Who we be ♪
- [Mays] Hi, I'm Mays Gilliam,
657
00:36:36,295 --> 00:36:39,362
candidate for President
of the United States.
658
00:36:39,364 --> 00:36:40,564
This is my new headquarters.
659
00:36:40,566 --> 00:36:46,503
The individuals you see
before you will help me
guide my campaign.
660
00:36:46,505 --> 00:36:48,538
These are my people.
661
00:36:48,540 --> 00:36:49,973
♪ They don't know ♪
662
00:36:49,975 --> 00:36:52,742
[newsreader] Mays Gilliam is
turning the establishment on
663
00:36:52,744 --> 00:36:56,846
its ear with his new
controversial campaign ads.
664
00:36:56,848 --> 00:36:59,316
♪ Who we be ♪
665
00:36:59,318 --> 00:37:00,584
♪ They don't know ♪
666
00:37:00,586 --> 00:37:02,385
[voiceover]
If you love America,
667
00:37:02,387 --> 00:37:05,622
vote Mays Gilliam
for president.
668
00:37:05,624 --> 00:37:10,327
Paid for by Citizens
for Mays Gilliam.
669
00:37:21,872 --> 00:37:25,008
[voiceover] The part of Mays
Gilliam's security director
670
00:37:25,010 --> 00:37:28,878
will now be played
by Muhammad Muhammad Muhammad.
671
00:37:28,880 --> 00:37:33,583
Child care is one of the most
important issues facing this
country today.
672
00:37:33,585 --> 00:37:36,653
The working mother has to
take her child to a nanny.
673
00:37:36,655 --> 00:37:39,623
The nanny has to take
her child to a babysitter.
674
00:37:39,625 --> 00:37:41,992
The babysitter has to
take her child to day care.
675
00:37:41,994 --> 00:37:47,764
On the count of three,
I want everybody to take care
of their own damn kids!
676
00:37:47,766 --> 00:37:51,468
Whose baby is this?
It ain't mine!
677
00:37:51,470 --> 00:37:54,804
Gay people want
what every American wants.
678
00:37:54,806 --> 00:37:57,440
A good house, a good job!
679
00:37:57,442 --> 00:37:58,375
I believe in gay rights
680
00:37:58,377 --> 00:38:01,444
because when I see gay people
all I'm seeing are people,
681
00:38:01,446 --> 00:38:04,714
normal people like
every other American.
682
00:38:04,716 --> 00:38:08,718
[dance music plays]
683
00:38:10,488 --> 00:38:16,326
Thank you for inviting me
to the Player's Ball!
684
00:38:17,762 --> 00:38:20,063
America needs to
change its ways.
685
00:38:20,065 --> 00:38:25,035
I promise if I'm your president,
I will take care of everybody.
686
00:38:25,037 --> 00:38:26,970
Big business and small business,
687
00:38:26,972 --> 00:38:30,707
show business and ho business.
688
00:38:35,846 --> 00:38:38,815
[phone rings]
689
00:38:42,520 --> 00:38:43,853
- Hello, Debra.
- Bill...
690
00:38:43,855 --> 00:38:48,491
I am in Detroit at a Player's
Ball with pimps and whores.
691
00:38:48,493 --> 00:38:49,492
Excuse me, hoes!
692
00:38:49,494 --> 00:38:53,763
I can't do this.
You gotta get me out of here.
I can't control him.
693
00:38:53,765 --> 00:38:58,068
- He won't listen to me.
- No, Debra, I need you there.
694
00:38:58,070 --> 00:39:00,503
- This is going great.
- But...
695
00:39:00,505 --> 00:39:04,007
This is what we wanted. I love
this guy. "That ain't right."
696
00:39:04,009 --> 00:39:06,843
- He thinks he can
make a difference!
- Bill...
697
00:39:06,845 --> 00:39:12,015
Debra. Stop worrying.
This will work out fine. Bye.
698
00:39:12,616 --> 00:39:16,419
- Don't I know you?
- No!
699
00:39:18,489 --> 00:39:20,990
[down-tempo music plays]
700
00:39:24,729 --> 00:39:28,998
♪ He feels good
Things are going his way ♪
701
00:39:29,000 --> 00:39:34,938
♪ He just might be
The president some day ♪
702
00:39:34,940 --> 00:39:38,908
[brass band continues tune]
703
00:40:06,971 --> 00:40:10,940
Mays? Darling? I've been
thinking I want a small wedding.
704
00:40:10,942 --> 00:40:13,476
I think I want 150,
maybe 200 people.
705
00:40:13,478 --> 00:40:15,545
I know I've always said
I wanted a wedding in a church,
706
00:40:15,547 --> 00:40:18,815
but lately I've been thinking
about the Botanical Gardens.
707
00:40:18,817 --> 00:40:22,085
We could do it by the tulips.
It'll be beautiful.
708
00:40:22,087 --> 00:40:24,654
- Security!
- [screams]
709
00:40:24,656 --> 00:40:27,090
[tires screech]
710
00:40:37,701 --> 00:40:41,738
- Who the hell is Mays Gilliam?
- He's running against you, sir.
711
00:40:41,740 --> 00:40:47,510
- What happened to... Gaines?
- He died in a plane crash.
712
00:40:47,512 --> 00:40:48,611
Get out of here. Gaines is dead?
713
00:40:48,613 --> 00:40:53,450
- Don't you remember?
It was on the news.
- Not my news.
714
00:40:53,584 --> 00:40:56,953
This fellow Gilliam
is an alderman from D.C.
715
00:40:56,955 --> 00:41:00,590
- He took Gaines' place, sir.
- I'm running against this guy?
716
00:41:00,592 --> 00:41:04,194
- Yes, sir.
- Well! That is some bullshit!
717
00:41:04,196 --> 00:41:08,631
This is my time. I've been
vice president for eight years.
718
00:41:08,633 --> 00:41:12,068
I am a war hero and
I am Sharon Stone's cousin.
719
00:41:12,070 --> 00:41:18,541
I'll be damned if I
let my election
be ruined by this asshole!
720
00:41:18,609 --> 00:41:23,480
I want this guy done.
You hear me? Finish him!
721
00:41:23,514 --> 00:41:25,648
He will destroyed,
sir, as you wish.
722
00:41:25,650 --> 00:41:27,684
[voiceover] This is
the White House without
723
00:41:27,686 --> 00:41:29,919
Mays Gilliam.
Peaceful, isn't it?
724
00:41:29,921 --> 00:41:34,991
Now this is the White House
if Gilliam is elected.
725
00:41:41,265 --> 00:41:43,700
Let's keep Mays Gilliam
out of the White House.
726
00:41:43,702 --> 00:41:48,838
Vote Brian Lewis for president.
It's your last chance.
727
00:41:48,840 --> 00:41:51,140
How do you
want to handle this?
728
00:41:51,142 --> 00:41:55,011
- I don't want to go negative.
- Mays...!
729
00:41:55,013 --> 00:41:56,179
Nobody wants to hear that.
730
00:41:56,181 --> 00:41:59,048
I want people to vote for me,
not against Lewis.
731
00:41:59,050 --> 00:42:00,783
People don't know
what they want to hear.
732
00:42:00,785 --> 00:42:04,153
We have to respond. I think
we go with something measured.
733
00:42:04,155 --> 00:42:07,257
- Let's call him on his record!
- You can't challenge Lewis
734
00:42:07,259 --> 00:42:09,692
on his record when Mays
doesn't have one.
735
00:42:09,694 --> 00:42:12,862
How about a massage?
736
00:42:12,897 --> 00:42:13,963
[man] Ladies and gentlemen,
737
00:42:13,965 --> 00:42:18,768
please welcome presidential
candidate Mays Gilliam!
738
00:42:18,770 --> 00:42:21,738
[cheering]
739
00:42:27,878 --> 00:42:30,647
- [cheering]
- Thank you.
740
00:42:30,649 --> 00:42:33,216
[radio presenter] This is
Conservative Talk 520.
741
00:42:33,218 --> 00:42:34,551
You're listening to Big Dave.
742
00:42:34,553 --> 00:42:36,753
Negative ads. Lewis is up,
Gilliam is down.
743
00:42:36,755 --> 00:42:40,056
I think it's great.
Bottom line. I don't think
744
00:42:40,058 --> 00:42:44,627
I want Gilliam and his homies
to be in my White House.
745
00:42:44,695 --> 00:42:46,229
People are saying
these ads are dirty politics.
746
00:42:46,231 --> 00:42:50,033
I say give me a small break!
We're not talking about running
747
00:42:50,035 --> 00:42:52,835
a rib shack, we're talking
about a country!
748
00:42:52,837 --> 00:42:56,639
He's running for president
and every vote counts!
749
00:42:56,641 --> 00:42:59,976
Ladies and gentlemen,
Mays Gilliam!
750
00:42:59,978 --> 00:43:04,647
[man] If these ads are so bad,
why hasn't Gilliam said
anything? Caller.
751
00:43:04,649 --> 00:43:07,283
- [caller] Howard Stern rocks!
- You're on with Big Dave.
752
00:43:07,285 --> 00:43:14,324
[caller #2] Gilliam hasn't
responded because he has
too much integrity.
753
00:43:14,326 --> 00:43:17,226
[Mays cries out]
754
00:43:20,164 --> 00:43:24,267
Hey, Mays, we just got
endorsements from Raekwon
755
00:43:24,269 --> 00:43:27,604
the Chef
and Ghost Face Killa.
756
00:43:27,606 --> 00:43:30,306
- Is this good?
- It's great.
757
00:43:31,208 --> 00:43:32,875
Where are we on this
running mate thing?
758
00:43:32,877 --> 00:43:36,779
I've been making calls.
Nobody wants to run with you.
759
00:43:36,781 --> 00:43:40,283
- Who did you call?
- Everybody.
760
00:43:40,285 --> 00:43:46,889
- Did you call Hammer?
- No, I did not call Hammer.
761
00:43:47,625 --> 00:43:49,792
Then you didn't
call everybody.
762
00:43:49,794 --> 00:43:52,629
[girl] Mr. Gilliam,
can I have your autograph?
763
00:43:52,631 --> 00:43:55,365
I'll be right back.
764
00:43:56,333 --> 00:43:59,268
- Should we call Hammer?
- No!
765
00:43:59,303 --> 00:44:00,737
- Here you go.
- Say cheese!
766
00:44:00,739 --> 00:44:06,709
[man] Mays Gilliam did not
attend this year's annual
rally against cancer.
767
00:44:06,711 --> 00:44:11,280
Is Mays Gilliam for cancer
or against cancer?
768
00:44:11,282 --> 00:44:13,983
Mays Gilliam, he's for cancer.
769
00:44:13,985 --> 00:44:19,889
Vote Brian Lewis for president.
It's your last chance.
770
00:44:20,691 --> 00:44:22,759
[girl] Cancer lover!
771
00:44:22,761 --> 00:44:25,862
No, he does not
get away with this crap.
772
00:44:25,864 --> 00:44:28,131
This is what we're going to do.
Ever watch Bugs Bunny?
773
00:44:28,133 --> 00:44:30,266
Him and Elmer Fudd
would fight all the time.
774
00:44:30,268 --> 00:44:33,269
Bugs would shoot him in the face
and drop an anvil on his head.
775
00:44:33,271 --> 00:44:36,005
But what made Elmer really mad
was when Bugs Bunny kissed him.
776
00:44:36,007 --> 00:44:39,175
That what we gotta do.
We gotta kiss this bitch.
777
00:44:39,177 --> 00:44:42,011
- How do you propose we do that?
- Watch this.
778
00:44:42,013 --> 00:44:43,012
Hi, I'm a Klansman.
779
00:44:43,014 --> 00:44:47,350
I hate niggers, Jews, and fags,
but I love Brian Lewis.
780
00:44:47,352 --> 00:44:49,819
[voiceover] Yo, what's up?
I'm Osama Bin Laden.
781
00:44:49,821 --> 00:44:52,422
I hate America,
but I love Brian Lewis.
782
00:44:52,424 --> 00:44:54,457
[female voiceover]
Paid for by Osama Bin Laden.
783
00:44:54,459 --> 00:44:58,795
Sharon Stone is a defector.
That's what Lewis campaign
784
00:44:58,797 --> 00:45:02,365
insiders are saying about
the star and cousin of Lewis
785
00:45:02,367 --> 00:45:06,169
after Stone's surprise
endorsement of Mays Gilliam.
786
00:45:06,171 --> 00:45:10,139
- I don't believe it!
- [knock on door]
787
00:45:10,174 --> 00:45:12,408
Yeah!
788
00:45:13,077 --> 00:45:14,977
I know!
789
00:45:14,979 --> 00:45:17,146
I know! Did you hear...
790
00:45:17,481 --> 00:45:22,351
- What are you doing here?
- Gilliam is over 30 points.
791
00:45:22,353 --> 00:45:25,988
That means even if he loses
he's the frontrunner in 2008.
792
00:45:25,990 --> 00:45:28,758
In case you've forgotten,
I intend to run for president
793
00:45:28,760 --> 00:45:31,794
in 2008, and I am not
running against him.
794
00:45:31,796 --> 00:45:34,964
This is over. Either you
put a stop to it or I will.
795
00:45:34,966 --> 00:45:37,166
I came on board to
run a campaign for a man
796
00:45:37,168 --> 00:45:40,937
we didn't expect to win, not
to sabotage him so he'd lose.
797
00:45:40,939 --> 00:45:42,772
Come on! You're in this
as thick as I am.
798
00:45:42,774 --> 00:45:44,173
Of course
he's supposed to lose!
799
00:45:44,175 --> 00:45:48,778
That's why we picked him. Are
you with me or are you with him?
800
00:45:48,780 --> 00:45:50,480
I thought you wanted
what was best for the party.
801
00:45:50,482 --> 00:45:54,917
- I'm what's best for the party!
- What's the matter, Bill?
802
00:45:54,919 --> 00:45:59,021
Democracy doesn't work for you
when you're not winning?
803
00:46:00,491 --> 00:46:03,326
I'm with him.
804
00:46:09,333 --> 00:46:11,901
I'm with him?
805
00:46:18,809 --> 00:46:22,545
- Who are these people again?
- The Urban Business Board.
806
00:46:22,547 --> 00:46:24,547
What are your plans
for Social Security?
807
00:46:24,549 --> 00:46:25,515
Give it to old people.
808
00:46:25,517 --> 00:46:28,084
- Your plans for global warming?
- Global ice tea.
809
00:46:28,086 --> 00:46:31,487
- You the man!
- You the woman!
810
00:46:31,989 --> 00:46:35,358
I want to introduce you
to Chester Norris Allen.
811
00:46:35,360 --> 00:46:37,126
He owns a bottling
plant in D.C.
812
00:46:37,128 --> 00:46:38,461
and I spoke to him
about our problem.
813
00:46:38,463 --> 00:46:41,497
- We've got a nice
check for you.
- We can't take your money.
814
00:46:41,499 --> 00:46:45,001
- You guys sell
malt liquor to kids.
- I do no such thing.
815
00:46:45,003 --> 00:46:48,004
Come on, man. It's
orange beer with a nipple top.
816
00:46:48,006 --> 00:46:51,541
Now, who's that for?
It's Crib Malt Liquor, man!
817
00:46:51,543 --> 00:46:53,376
He's unbelievable!
818
00:46:53,378 --> 00:46:57,880
We need that money! Why do you
make everything so difficult?
819
00:46:57,882 --> 00:46:58,981
It's Crib Malt Liquor!
820
00:46:58,983 --> 00:47:03,119
"Crib Malt Liquor,
just like Mama used to make"?
821
00:47:03,121 --> 00:47:04,120
Whose mama? Not my mama!
822
00:47:04,122 --> 00:47:06,322
[woman] The situation
is getting tense
823
00:47:06,324 --> 00:47:08,457
with the threat of the
bus line being shut down.
824
00:47:08,459 --> 00:47:11,027
Protesters took their concerns
to transit officials,
825
00:47:11,029 --> 00:47:14,096
but talks broke down when
the newly appointed alderman,
826
00:47:14,098 --> 00:47:19,602
Reginald Shannon,
was punched in the face
by an angry protester.
827
00:47:19,604 --> 00:47:21,170
[TV off]
828
00:47:21,172 --> 00:47:23,005
- Good evening, sir.
- What's up, Nikki?
829
00:47:23,007 --> 00:47:27,610
Well, I noticed you weren't
at the party, so I thought
830
00:47:27,612 --> 00:47:33,950
if there is anything
you'd like for me to do,
I would be happy to.
831
00:47:34,117 --> 00:47:38,988
- Could I ask you something?
- Yes.
832
00:47:38,990 --> 00:47:43,159
You know,
you seem like a nice girl.
833
00:47:43,161 --> 00:47:47,330
How'd you get into
this line of work?
834
00:47:47,431 --> 00:47:49,599
Oh. Well...
835
00:47:49,601 --> 00:47:53,970
I went to the
University of Nebraska,
836
00:47:53,972 --> 00:47:56,405
where I majored in
Theatre and Communications.
837
00:47:56,407 --> 00:48:03,179
I did some extra work and
a couple of things that
went straight to video.
838
00:48:05,249 --> 00:48:06,082
Okay.
839
00:48:06,084 --> 00:48:09,886
- Can I ask you a question?
- Yeah, sure.
840
00:48:09,888 --> 00:48:10,586
Since I've been here,
841
00:48:10,588 --> 00:48:15,091
you haven't really given me
any... assignments.
842
00:48:15,093 --> 00:48:19,128
I was wondering
if you find me attractive.
843
00:48:22,099 --> 00:48:23,199
I think you're...
844
00:48:23,201 --> 00:48:27,336
I think you're very
attractive, it's just that...
845
00:48:27,338 --> 00:48:33,442
I like to get to know people
before I get involved.
846
00:48:33,944 --> 00:48:38,281
I don't mean to be
out of line, sir, but...
847
00:48:39,049 --> 00:48:41,284
Are you?
848
00:48:42,252 --> 00:48:47,957
- [hoarsely] Am I what?
- Trying to get
to know somebody.
849
00:48:51,295 --> 00:48:55,932
- It is late. I'm out of here.
- You need to take a cab.
850
00:48:55,934 --> 00:48:59,468
I'll be fine,
I'm just gonna walk.
851
00:49:03,540 --> 00:49:10,279
- Take a cab!
- I'll be fine. I'll walk.
852
00:49:17,254 --> 00:49:20,256
Need a ride?
853
00:49:25,062 --> 00:49:26,062
So where are we going?
854
00:49:26,064 --> 00:49:29,031
I just thought
I'd give you a little tour.
855
00:49:29,033 --> 00:49:33,369
[♪ Al B. Sure!: Nite & Day]
856
00:49:34,371 --> 00:49:40,242
♪ I can tell you how I feel
about you night and day ♪
857
00:49:40,244 --> 00:49:45,448
If you look over there,
it's the Lincoln Memorial.
858
00:49:45,549 --> 00:49:48,250
Lincoln freed the slaves,
but before he did it, he said,
859
00:49:48,252 --> 00:49:52,254
"First, you niggers
gotta build me a statue."
860
00:49:52,256 --> 00:49:55,458
Now, right there is
the Jefferson Memorial.
861
00:49:55,460 --> 00:49:59,628
Jefferson had a black mistress.
He said, "All men are
created equal,
862
00:49:59,630 --> 00:50:02,331
but black women
got the nicest ass!"
863
00:50:02,333 --> 00:50:06,068
He said it!
That's the Treasury.
864
00:50:06,070 --> 00:50:07,770
If you look real hard
in the window,
865
00:50:07,772 --> 00:50:11,507
you can see Oprah
counting her money.
866
00:50:11,509 --> 00:50:15,711
Twenty trillion one,
twenty trillion two...
867
00:50:15,713 --> 00:50:18,014
Hey, Oprah!
868
00:50:22,386 --> 00:50:25,788
I mean, what's it like,
traveling all over the country
869
00:50:25,790 --> 00:50:29,025
and meeting all those people?
870
00:50:29,027 --> 00:50:32,194
I like it. I like traveling,
I like meeting the people.
871
00:50:32,196 --> 00:50:36,665
It's just sometimes, you don't
know if people like you for you.
872
00:50:36,667 --> 00:50:41,103
- Know what I mean?
- Well, I like you for you.
873
00:50:41,105 --> 00:50:45,107
- And I think you're okay.
- Just okay?
874
00:50:45,109 --> 00:50:48,210
I'm just playing.
875
00:50:48,311 --> 00:50:51,680
You know, I forgot
how nice D.C. was.
876
00:50:51,682 --> 00:50:54,550
I'm always working. I never
get a chance to check it out.
877
00:50:54,552 --> 00:50:57,319
Maybe you need to take advantage
of what's in front of you.
878
00:50:57,321 --> 00:51:04,226
You never know,
you may look up some day,
and it might not be there.
879
00:51:08,231 --> 00:51:08,798
[man] Freeze!
880
00:51:08,800 --> 00:51:12,601
Put your hands up in the air
and step away from Mr. Gilliam!
881
00:51:12,603 --> 00:51:13,769
It's okay, it's okay!
882
00:51:13,771 --> 00:51:18,107
- What the hell are you doing?
- What the hell are you doing?
883
00:51:18,109 --> 00:51:19,075
You can't go dashing off
884
00:51:19,077 --> 00:51:20,810
in the middle of the night
with some damn girl!
885
00:51:20,812 --> 00:51:23,646
Something's happened. We gotta
pack and get out of here.
886
00:51:23,648 --> 00:51:26,849
Will somebody make sure
that she gets home safely?
887
00:51:26,851 --> 00:51:29,819
[Debra] We have
a plane waiting.
888
00:51:33,557 --> 00:51:37,726
[newsreader] In Florida today,
guns and explosives
were found at a school.
889
00:51:37,728 --> 00:51:42,164
No one was injured in the
incident, but with just
six weeks till Election Day,
890
00:51:42,166 --> 00:51:45,367
this could be a hot-button
issue for both parties.
891
00:51:45,369 --> 00:51:50,106
Now back to the Jay-Z song
already in progress.
892
00:51:50,108 --> 00:51:51,874
Get me a gun
in case another one
893
00:51:51,876 --> 00:51:53,709
of these kids
tries to get crazy.
894
00:51:53,711 --> 00:51:55,211
This could work
in our favor.
895
00:51:55,213 --> 00:51:57,213
Florida is a big Second
Amendment state.
896
00:51:57,215 --> 00:52:00,149
This is serious.
This is not the Player's Ball.
897
00:52:00,151 --> 00:52:01,350
You can cut into
Lewis' numbers.
898
00:52:01,352 --> 00:52:03,185
Talk about the kids,
not about the guns.
899
00:52:03,187 --> 00:52:06,755
- If I get shot,
everybody's fired.
- [reporter] Mr. Gilliam!
900
00:52:06,757 --> 00:52:09,191
- One question here.
- There's been an outcry
901
00:52:09,193 --> 00:52:12,128
that something needs to
be done about school violence.
902
00:52:12,130 --> 00:52:14,163
What do you
plan to do about this?
903
00:52:14,165 --> 00:52:16,332
I feel we need
to talk to our kids.
904
00:52:16,334 --> 00:52:18,400
Because our kids are all...
905
00:52:18,402 --> 00:52:21,871
[words are drowned
out by chopper]
906
00:52:28,912 --> 00:52:31,480
[Lewis] Excuse me.
907
00:52:32,582 --> 00:52:35,751
Hello, children.
Good morning.
908
00:52:35,753 --> 00:52:37,620
I'm so sorry this happened.
909
00:52:37,622 --> 00:52:40,723
Pay attention. This is going
to be a class: Bullshit 101.
910
00:52:40,725 --> 00:52:45,528
Ladies and gentlemen,
our American children
are hurting today.
911
00:52:45,530 --> 00:52:47,463
And I think we need
to reach out to them
912
00:52:47,465 --> 00:52:52,334
and give them all a good
old-fashioned American hug.
913
00:52:52,336 --> 00:52:56,605
Now, America is the
greatest country on
the face of the Earth.
914
00:52:56,607 --> 00:53:01,243
And I just want to say today,
God bless America.
915
00:53:01,245 --> 00:53:03,579
And no place else.
Thank you.
916
00:53:03,581 --> 00:53:06,782
Thank you, children.
No more bombs, now!
917
00:53:06,784 --> 00:53:07,716
And don't use guns.
918
00:53:07,718 --> 00:53:10,586
- That went well.
- That was very touching.
919
00:53:10,588 --> 00:53:12,788
- Kids like me.
- You were very genuine.
920
00:53:12,790 --> 00:53:13,589
They responded.
921
00:53:13,591 --> 00:53:16,525
I tried to hug a girl and a boy,
so I wouldn't seem sexist.
922
00:53:17,260 --> 00:53:17,793
V.P. Lewis!
923
00:53:17,795 --> 00:53:22,264
- Mr. Vice President.
- Welcome to the show.
924
00:53:22,266 --> 00:53:24,200
I'm surprised you're not
off with your girlfriend.
925
00:53:24,202 --> 00:53:27,403
- How'd you know about her?
- I'm the government, son.
926
00:53:27,405 --> 00:53:31,974
- I know everything.
- Sir, we really should debate.
927
00:53:32,242 --> 00:53:33,809
Let's get
something straight.
928
00:53:33,811 --> 00:53:37,513
I don't know you
and I don't like you.
929
00:53:37,515 --> 00:53:42,218
The party's over.
I'm fixing to whip your ass.
930
00:53:42,485 --> 00:53:44,920
You got it?
931
00:53:47,490 --> 00:53:50,960
Sir, we really should debate.
932
00:53:51,261 --> 00:53:53,395
God bless America!
933
00:53:53,397 --> 00:53:56,599
And no place else!
934
00:53:59,402 --> 00:53:59,802
Sir.
935
00:53:59,804 --> 00:54:01,770
- We got this off the uplink.
- What is it?
936
00:54:01,772 --> 00:54:05,641
An off-the-record comment
by Mays Gilliam.
937
00:54:05,643 --> 00:54:08,310
- Bad?
- Yes, sir.
938
00:54:08,312 --> 00:54:10,546
Good work.
939
00:54:15,352 --> 00:54:17,686
Oh, it's on!
You guys, come here.
940
00:54:17,688 --> 00:54:21,690
[newsreader] ...comforting
parents and students.
941
00:54:21,692 --> 00:54:23,759
The press is in
Lewis' back pocket.
942
00:54:23,761 --> 00:54:24,893
[Lewis] Good morning, children!
943
00:54:24,895 --> 00:54:26,895
In this CNB News exclusive,
our cameras caught Gilliam
944
00:54:26,897 --> 00:54:32,568
making what was arguably
the most controversial
statement of the day.
945
00:54:32,570 --> 00:54:33,269
What?
946
00:54:33,271 --> 00:54:34,637
What do you expect?
They act like us.
947
00:54:34,639 --> 00:54:36,005
We're bombing countries
all the time.
948
00:54:36,007 --> 00:54:39,642
- If I was 12, I'd have a gun.
- Tell me you didn't say that.
949
00:54:39,644 --> 00:54:41,043
I didn't know
the camera was on me.
950
00:54:41,045 --> 00:54:43,646
I was playing around
with some sound guy.
951
00:54:43,648 --> 00:54:45,547
You didn't know
the camera was on you?
952
00:54:45,549 --> 00:54:46,915
You didn't know
the camera was on you?
953
00:54:46,917 --> 00:54:51,387
Of course it's on you.
It's always on you! You're
running for president, dammit!
954
00:54:51,389 --> 00:54:55,491
- I told you from the beginning.
- This is all your fault.
955
00:54:55,493 --> 00:54:56,458
You did not listen to me!
956
00:54:56,460 --> 00:54:59,595
Gilliam is now under
investigation by the FBI
957
00:54:59,597 --> 00:55:01,563
for his involvement
with this man...
958
00:55:01,565 --> 00:55:05,301
...friend and associate and
accused drug lord Warren Pryor.
959
00:55:05,303 --> 00:55:08,837
- Oh, Lord, we're going to jail.
- We're not going to jail.
960
00:55:08,839 --> 00:55:11,740
Is it true?
961
00:55:11,841 --> 00:55:12,608
What's up?
962
00:55:12,610 --> 00:55:13,542
I know him, but I don't
963
00:55:13,544 --> 00:55:17,646
"drug-lord" know him. It's
a guy I say "What's up?" to.
964
00:55:17,648 --> 00:55:20,716
- But I don't know him know him.
- Do you have drugs on you?
965
00:55:20,718 --> 00:55:23,519
Get them off because I'm
not going to jail for you.
966
00:55:23,521 --> 00:55:24,520
Are you on the pipe?
967
00:55:24,522 --> 00:55:26,455
[man] ♪ This is messed up
This really sucks ♪
968
00:55:26,457 --> 00:55:28,991
♪ Every time you're doing good
trouble just pops up ♪
969
00:55:28,993 --> 00:55:31,660
♪ He doesn't know
what he's gonna do ♪
970
00:55:31,662 --> 00:55:33,896
♪ He doesn't know
what he's gonna do ♪
971
00:55:33,898 --> 00:55:36,565
♪ This is messed up
This really sucks ♪
972
00:55:36,567 --> 00:55:38,634
♪ Keep your head up
it's your best bet ♪
973
00:55:38,636 --> 00:55:41,370
♪ Let's just hope
the election's not through ♪
974
00:55:41,372 --> 00:55:43,005
And I repeat,
if you see Mays Gilliam,
975
00:55:43,007 --> 00:55:45,474
please do not call
the authorities.
976
00:55:45,476 --> 00:55:49,411
Just do whatever you can
to make his life a living hell.
977
00:55:49,413 --> 00:55:50,979
- [babble]
- No more questions!
978
00:55:50,981 --> 00:55:54,016
If I see Mays Gilliam,
I'm gonna bust a cap in his ass.
979
00:55:54,018 --> 00:56:01,023
[Dave] Gilliam is done and
Big Dave says, "Waa-waa!"
980
00:56:01,358 --> 00:56:02,057
God.
981
00:56:02,059 --> 00:56:06,061
- What am I gonna do?
- What are you worried about?
982
00:56:06,063 --> 00:56:08,731
It's not like your face
is on the side of a bus.
983
00:56:08,733 --> 00:56:10,599
I'm the one who'll
take a hit for this.
984
00:56:10,601 --> 00:56:13,535
Why don't we get me on the news
so I can make a statement,
985
00:56:13,537 --> 00:56:16,038
apologize? That's what
the people want to hear.
986
00:56:16,040 --> 00:56:17,139
You're probably right.
987
00:56:17,141 --> 00:56:20,476
Make a statement,
try and sound sincere.
988
00:56:20,478 --> 00:56:22,077
Just give me a break!
989
00:56:22,079 --> 00:56:26,415
Do you think you can say you're
sorry and this is gonna go away?
990
00:56:26,417 --> 00:56:32,388
You're running for President
of the United States of America.
991
00:56:32,455 --> 00:56:37,659
Do you have any idea
why they chose you?
992
00:56:37,927 --> 00:56:39,828
[gunshot]
993
00:56:39,830 --> 00:56:43,932
- We picked you
because you're the guy...
- Shut up!
994
00:56:47,470 --> 00:56:50,973
You're here to lose, Mays.
995
00:56:50,975 --> 00:56:54,610
Arnot picked you
so you could lose.
996
00:56:54,612 --> 00:56:56,044
Come on,
just think about it.
997
00:56:56,046 --> 00:56:58,781
If they really had any idea
that they could win this thing,
998
00:56:58,783 --> 00:57:05,187
do you think they would have
chosen an ignorant-ass nigger
like you?
999
00:57:09,025 --> 00:57:10,426
Okay, wait up.
1000
00:57:10,428 --> 00:57:12,928
I know you're not calling me
an ignorant nigger
1001
00:57:12,930 --> 00:57:16,799
and thinking that
you're staying on my bus.
1002
00:57:16,801 --> 00:57:20,669
I am not getting off this bus.
We're in the middle of nowhere.
1003
00:57:20,671 --> 00:57:23,138
So now you need a ride
from an ignorant nigger.
1004
00:57:23,140 --> 00:57:25,707
I am not
getting off this bus.
1005
00:57:25,709 --> 00:57:27,109
- Apologize.
- No.
1006
00:57:27,111 --> 00:57:28,610
- Security!
- [screams]
1007
00:57:28,612 --> 00:57:33,182
- [tires screech]
- [faintly] Damn you,
Mays Gilliam!
1008
00:57:33,184 --> 00:57:36,819
So you knew about this
all along, huh?
1009
00:57:46,930 --> 00:57:49,097
Mays...
1010
00:57:58,608 --> 00:58:01,243
Is there trouble
inside the Gilliam campaign?
1011
00:58:01,245 --> 00:58:04,480
That's what insiders
want to know after
Gilliam's chief advisor,
1012
00:58:04,482 --> 00:58:06,715
Debra Lassiter,
left the campaign trail.
1013
00:58:06,717 --> 00:58:10,219
[man] Down in the polls,
Gilliam still has no
running mate.
1014
00:58:10,221 --> 00:58:12,821
[man] Sources say the
Teamsters may endorse Lewis.
1015
00:58:12,823 --> 00:58:15,791
[woman] Gilliam kill Jon Benet
Ramsay? Police want to know.
1016
00:58:15,793 --> 00:58:19,695
[man] The big question:
where is Mays Gilliam?
1017
00:58:19,697 --> 00:58:23,665
[Dave] I'll tell you where
he's at. He's with his peeps!
1018
00:58:23,667 --> 00:58:26,702
[phone rings]
1019
00:58:27,103 --> 00:58:28,670
[phone rings]
1020
00:58:28,672 --> 00:58:30,138
- Hello.
- You up?
1021
00:58:30,140 --> 00:58:33,275
I was hoping you would call.
Where are you? Are you okay?
1022
00:58:33,277 --> 00:58:37,045
I don't know.
I guess I'm all right.
1023
00:58:37,047 --> 00:58:38,180
Okay, come on, talk to Mama.
1024
00:58:38,182 --> 00:58:41,750
I don't know. It seems like
they're trying to get me.
1025
00:58:41,752 --> 00:58:44,820
Like everywhere I turn, they're
trying to put a foot in my ass.
1026
00:58:44,822 --> 00:58:48,557
After what you said, you need
a foot put up in your ass!
1027
00:58:48,559 --> 00:58:51,994
What did you expect? They were
gonna just make you president?
1028
00:58:51,996 --> 00:58:55,797
It's like they take
a poll for everything I do.
1029
00:58:55,799 --> 00:58:57,032
You ever been to a horse race?
1030
00:58:57,034 --> 00:59:00,936
My dad used to take me all
the time when I was little.
1031
00:59:00,938 --> 00:59:04,273
You know, the horses,
they wear blinders.
1032
00:59:04,275 --> 00:59:06,241
They don't even see each other.
1033
00:59:06,243 --> 00:59:07,809
They just run their race.
1034
00:59:07,811 --> 00:59:10,913
So don't worry about Lewis,
don't worry about the press.
1035
00:59:10,915 --> 00:59:16,151
- Just run your race.
- Okay, let me ask you
something.
1036
00:59:16,153 --> 00:59:17,286
Okay.
1037
00:59:17,288 --> 00:59:18,754
- What are you wearing?
- [gasps]
1038
00:59:18,756 --> 00:59:22,224
Oh, now, you know
you need to stop!
1039
00:59:29,566 --> 00:59:30,899
Man, news travels fast.
1040
00:59:30,901 --> 00:59:34,937
Not ten minutes after you fired
me, I had two offers for jobs.
1041
00:59:34,939 --> 00:59:38,140
- Good offers.
- What are you doing here?
1042
00:59:38,142 --> 00:59:42,778
I know you got no reason to
trust me, but I'm asking you to.
1043
00:59:42,780 --> 00:59:44,212
You've got five weeks left.
1044
00:59:44,214 --> 00:59:47,950
I know Lassiter is out,
but I think...
1045
00:59:47,952 --> 00:59:51,253
I think I can
help you do this.
1046
00:59:51,255 --> 00:59:53,689
I want to help.
1047
00:59:53,691 --> 00:59:57,593
And... I'm sorry, Mays.
1048
00:59:57,595 --> 00:59:58,961
I don't know what else to say,
1049
00:59:58,963 --> 01:00:03,599
but as bad as things look,
I don't think you should quit.
1050
01:00:03,601 --> 01:00:05,100
Who said I was quitting?
1051
01:00:05,102 --> 01:00:10,606
I wish I could quit.
I wish it was that easy.
1052
01:00:11,140 --> 01:00:12,240
You're lucky.
1053
01:00:12,242 --> 01:00:16,378
You are so lucky. You don't
know how good you got it.
1054
01:00:16,380 --> 01:00:18,046
You just represent yourself.
1055
01:00:18,048 --> 01:00:21,717
Me? I represent my whole race.
1056
01:00:21,719 --> 01:00:29,091
If I quit, there won't be
another black candidate
for fifty years.
1057
01:00:30,326 --> 01:00:31,860
All right.
1058
01:00:31,862 --> 01:00:35,964
We can get rid of the school
thing with a statement
that will blow things over.
1059
01:00:35,966 --> 01:00:38,734
- But we need a running mate.
- Who am I supposed to pick?
1060
01:00:38,736 --> 01:00:44,740
- Nobody wants to run with me.
- We need somebody we can trust.
1061
01:00:45,208 --> 01:00:48,810
- Who do you trust?
- [upbeat music plays]
1062
01:00:48,812 --> 01:00:52,814
[newsreader] In the midst of
his own Cinderella story,
1063
01:00:52,816 --> 01:00:54,149
Gilliam is shaking it up.
1064
01:00:54,151 --> 01:00:56,251
He's chosen
his brother, Mitch Gilliam,
1065
01:00:56,253 --> 01:00:59,755
a bail bondsman from Chicago,
as his running mate.
1066
01:00:59,757 --> 01:01:04,026
[man] Political analysts
say this may be too little,
too late.
1067
01:01:04,028 --> 01:01:06,194
I'm with the
Pork Commission.
1068
01:01:06,196 --> 01:01:09,931
I'm from the Athlete's
Foot Founda...
1069
01:01:09,933 --> 01:01:15,070
Brother! Can you get my
demo tape to somebody?
1070
01:01:22,445 --> 01:01:25,814
- Are these your bags?
- Look at my shoes
and at my bags.
1071
01:01:25,816 --> 01:01:30,886
- Shut up and follow me. Mays!
- Mitch!
1072
01:01:36,192 --> 01:01:38,727
Mr. Gilliam. What do you
have to say about
1073
01:01:38,729 --> 01:01:40,395
your brother's
controversial comments?
1074
01:01:40,397 --> 01:01:42,931
My gosh, lady, my brother
said he was sorry.
1075
01:01:42,933 --> 01:01:48,170
Let it go. See, that's
why nobody like your ass.
1076
01:01:48,938 --> 01:01:51,973
We got a lot of work to do.
We're way behind in the polls.
1077
01:01:51,975 --> 01:01:54,443
- Am I getting paid? Let's go.
- Oh, yeah.
1078
01:01:54,445 --> 01:01:57,779
You're running for the
vice presidency.
You're a bail bondsman.
1079
01:01:57,781 --> 01:02:02,284
You have no Washington
experience, no political
experience or connections.
1080
01:02:02,286 --> 01:02:07,189
How does being a bail bondsman
qualify you to be vice
president?
1081
01:02:07,191 --> 01:02:11,893
People come to me when they in
trouble, like the United States.
1082
01:02:11,895 --> 01:02:13,395
We bail people out.
We bail out Mexico,
1083
01:02:13,397 --> 01:02:16,932
the savings and loan,
the airline industry.
1084
01:02:16,934 --> 01:02:20,469
Now you ask me, sir,
what qualifies me to
run for vice president.
1085
01:02:20,471 --> 01:02:23,371
When the country's in trouble,
I'll bail them out.
1086
01:02:23,373 --> 01:02:25,941
Hold that thought. We have a
caller from Detroit. Go ahead.
1087
01:02:25,943 --> 01:02:28,510
[man] Hey, Mitch.
What you looking round for?
1088
01:02:28,512 --> 01:02:30,445
It's Reggie, motherf...
Where my money at?
1089
01:02:30,447 --> 01:02:33,348
Don't call me with that
bullshit. You see I'm on TV.
1090
01:02:33,350 --> 01:02:36,952
- How do you feel about NATO?
- I never met Nato.
1091
01:02:36,954 --> 01:02:39,488
I don't talk about people
behind their back.
1092
01:02:39,490 --> 01:02:41,456
NATO is the North Atlantic
Treaty Organization.
1093
01:02:41,458 --> 01:02:45,093
I thought you were talking about
this guy named Nato Jacobs.
1094
01:02:45,095 --> 01:02:47,329
But you have to
know these things.
1095
01:02:47,331 --> 01:02:48,864
Do you know Nato Jacobs?
1096
01:02:48,866 --> 01:02:52,501
- I know what NATO is, sir.
- Do you know Nato Jacobs?
1097
01:02:52,503 --> 01:02:54,903
I'm sorry, I haven't
met the gentleman.
1098
01:02:54,905 --> 01:02:55,837
That's what I said.
1099
01:02:55,839 --> 01:02:58,874
You know nothing about Nato,
I know nothing about NATO.
1100
01:02:58,876 --> 01:03:02,410
Why are you out here since
inmates don't have the
right to vote?
1101
01:03:02,412 --> 01:03:05,514
It's not about the vote. We're
looking out for the convicts.
1102
01:03:05,516 --> 01:03:08,416
See, we want to make sure
when they get out they stay out,
1103
01:03:08,418 --> 01:03:11,787
they better their education and
become more productive citizens.
1104
01:03:11,789 --> 01:03:13,088
That's what my brother
and I are about.
1105
01:03:13,090 --> 01:03:15,390
- What's up, man?
- Shorty G!
1106
01:03:15,392 --> 01:03:19,361
- Good to see you, boy.
- This is Shorty G.
I arrested his ass.
1107
01:03:19,363 --> 01:03:20,829
I thought you got
the chair, boy.
1108
01:03:20,831 --> 01:03:24,199
Mr. Gilliam, how would you deal
with white-collar crime?
1109
01:03:24,201 --> 01:03:26,935
First, there's no such thing
as white-collar crime.
1110
01:03:26,937 --> 01:03:29,204
And there's no such thing
as black-on-black crime.
1111
01:03:29,206 --> 01:03:32,007
Crime is crime. Let me
explain something to you.
1112
01:03:32,009 --> 01:03:35,210
I don't care if you have
a white collar or a tank top.
1113
01:03:35,212 --> 01:03:37,879
If you rob me,
I'm gonna whup your ass.
1114
01:03:37,881 --> 01:03:40,215
- [chuckles]
- I'm Janet Silvers
1115
01:03:40,217 --> 01:03:43,218
reporting in Washington, D.C.,
where transit operators...
1116
01:03:43,220 --> 01:03:44,920
I wish we could
get to the White House.
1117
01:03:44,922 --> 01:03:46,555
Why? So you can
have a cook-out?
1118
01:03:46,557 --> 01:03:48,190
They were just
talking about your ward.
1119
01:03:48,192 --> 01:03:49,591
Yeah. What's
going on down there?
1120
01:03:49,593 --> 01:03:52,093
They want to cut bus service
until they finish this
construction.
1121
01:03:52,095 --> 01:03:55,096
- I should go down there.
- So you can blow up
the bus line?
1122
01:03:55,098 --> 01:03:58,533
One thing at a time.
The Teamsters haven't
endorsed Lewis.
1123
01:03:58,535 --> 01:04:00,302
Our numbers are
creeping back up.
1124
01:04:00,304 --> 01:04:04,272
But if we want a shot at this,
we gotta get Lewis to debate.
1125
01:04:04,274 --> 01:04:06,308
He knows that.
That's why he won't debate me.
1126
01:04:06,310 --> 01:04:08,543
The guy's avoiding me
like he owes me child support.
1127
01:04:08,545 --> 01:04:11,213
The man is scared. He's
hoping the clock'll run out.
1128
01:04:11,215 --> 01:04:13,915
That's a punk move. Ducking
and hiding like a little bitch!
1129
01:04:13,917 --> 01:04:19,621
That may be, but he's not going
to debate you because you call
him a little bitch.
1130
01:04:21,157 --> 01:04:23,258
We feel that what
this community needs...
1131
01:04:23,260 --> 01:04:26,628
What the community needs is
for you to debate me right now!
1132
01:04:26,630 --> 01:04:28,196
Tell the people that!
1133
01:04:28,198 --> 01:04:31,099
I thought I told you
that we won't stop.
1134
01:04:31,101 --> 01:04:32,467
Well, now, my agenda...
1135
01:04:32,469 --> 01:04:33,535
I'll tell you about our agenda.
1136
01:04:33,537 --> 01:04:35,537
Our agenda is
to have a debate now.
1137
01:04:35,539 --> 01:04:39,574
Get rid of this zero
and talk to the hero.
1138
01:04:40,610 --> 01:04:43,178
You got time to jog,
but no time to debate?
1139
01:04:43,180 --> 01:04:44,512
You can run,
but you can't hide.
1140
01:04:44,514 --> 01:04:46,314
I thought I told you
that we won't stop.
1141
01:04:46,316 --> 01:04:47,916
Looking for the news?
1142
01:04:47,918 --> 01:04:50,118
- The news is we want a debate.
- No!
1143
01:04:50,120 --> 01:04:53,455
- What did you
change the channel for?
- He's scared.
1144
01:04:53,457 --> 01:04:54,122
Oh, God!
1145
01:04:54,124 --> 01:04:55,924
- A word from our sponsor.
- We want a debate.
1146
01:04:55,926 --> 01:04:59,227
I thought I told you
that we won't stop.
1147
01:04:59,229 --> 01:05:02,364
- [taunts continue]
- No!
1148
01:05:02,366 --> 01:05:05,000
Yo, Lewis!
Your mother's ass is so big,
1149
01:05:05,002 --> 01:05:07,602
when she sits down,
she's three feet taller.
1150
01:05:07,604 --> 01:05:11,206
Yo, Lewis! Your mother
got a really big ass!
1151
01:05:11,208 --> 01:05:13,909
Sir, I think it's time
we prepare for a debate.
1152
01:05:13,911 --> 01:05:16,978
Give me one good reason
I should debate that jerk.
1153
01:05:16,980 --> 01:05:19,347
He talked about
your mother, sir!
1154
01:05:19,349 --> 01:05:20,415
So what?
1155
01:05:20,417 --> 01:05:25,553
Are you going to just let him
talk about me like that?
1156
01:05:28,057 --> 01:05:32,427
After some inventive chiding
on the part of Alderman Mays
Gilliam,
1157
01:05:32,429 --> 01:05:36,932
Vice President Lewis has
finally agreed to one debate
1158
01:05:36,934 --> 01:05:41,236
the night before the election.
1159
01:05:41,304 --> 01:05:44,673
Baby brother, this is it.
You ready?
1160
01:05:44,675 --> 01:05:45,607
All right, I guess.
1161
01:05:45,609 --> 01:05:48,276
What you mean, you guess?
You either ready or you ain't.
1162
01:05:48,278 --> 01:05:52,180
Hey, man. What's your problem?
I'm ready, okay?
1163
01:05:52,182 --> 01:05:56,051
No, you ain't. Look at you.
This ain't gonna get it.
1164
01:05:56,053 --> 01:05:59,287
You gotta dress for the job you
want, not for the job you got.
1165
01:05:59,289 --> 01:06:01,323
You ain't talking
about my clothes.
1166
01:06:01,325 --> 01:06:02,624
Come on, now.
This ain't about me.
1167
01:06:02,626 --> 01:06:05,694
If I got a good idea,
it shouldn't matter
1168
01:06:05,696 --> 01:06:10,065
- what the hell I'm wearing!
- You know you messed up, man.
1169
01:06:10,067 --> 01:06:15,270
Boy, I'm telling you right now.
You know, this ain't about me!
1170
01:06:15,272 --> 01:06:19,307
Okay? Lewis ain't no punk.
He ain't no joke.
1171
01:06:19,309 --> 01:06:22,577
That man has been vice president
for eight years.
1172
01:06:22,579 --> 01:06:25,113
He's a war hero.
He's Sharon Stone's cousin.
1173
01:06:25,115 --> 01:06:28,283
- You better come correct.
- Oh, yeah?
1174
01:06:28,285 --> 01:06:32,053
Yeah? Well,
I got us this far!
1175
01:06:32,288 --> 01:06:34,556
That's as far
as you're gonna get!
1176
01:06:34,558 --> 01:06:36,257
- Oh, it's like that?
- That's the way it is.
1177
01:06:36,259 --> 01:06:39,394
Geller and them up there
are pumping your head up.
1178
01:06:39,396 --> 01:06:42,364
But Lewis'll
smack it back down!
1179
01:06:42,366 --> 01:06:45,633
- Oh, yeah?
- Yeah.
1180
01:06:46,268 --> 01:06:48,470
Ho-ho-ho-ho!
1181
01:06:55,044 --> 01:06:57,212
Motherfucker!
1182
01:07:02,585 --> 01:07:04,085
Oh, my God.
1183
01:07:04,087 --> 01:07:07,355
Little brother,
you all right?
1184
01:07:09,125 --> 01:07:12,427
That's what your ass get.
You need anything?
1185
01:07:12,429 --> 01:07:14,229
'Cause it look like
you need help.
1186
01:07:14,231 --> 01:07:16,765
You gonna get yours!
I'm gonna tell Ma!
1187
01:07:16,767 --> 01:07:19,234
You better not tell!
1188
01:07:19,802 --> 01:07:22,771
[phone rings]
1189
01:07:24,607 --> 01:07:25,807
- Hello.
- Debra.
1190
01:07:25,809 --> 01:07:28,309
- Mays.
- No. Mays, look.
1191
01:07:28,311 --> 01:07:30,412
Don't intrude
in my life any more.
1192
01:07:30,414 --> 01:07:32,080
I don't want to have
anything to do with you,
1193
01:07:32,082 --> 01:07:33,248
not after the way
you treated me.
1194
01:07:33,250 --> 01:07:36,718
I'm sorry I threw you
off the bus. It was wrong.
1195
01:07:36,720 --> 01:07:38,820
I just couldn't take
what you were saying.
1196
01:07:38,822 --> 01:07:44,459
- Mays, what do you want?
- I wanna win.
1197
01:07:49,398 --> 01:07:50,298
[applause]
1198
01:07:50,300 --> 01:07:54,069
Welcome to New York City for
the 2004 presidential debate.
1199
01:07:54,071 --> 01:07:57,272
- Where is he?
- I don't know.
He was behind me.
1200
01:07:57,274 --> 01:07:59,741
- Should I go look for him?
- People are getting nervous.
1201
01:07:59,743 --> 01:08:02,544
- We gotta do something.
- I can do something.
1202
01:08:02,546 --> 01:08:03,244
[both] No.
1203
01:08:03,246 --> 01:08:09,651
Ladies and gentlemen,
Vice President Brian Lewis.
1204
01:08:11,854 --> 01:08:14,823
[applause]
1205
01:08:19,328 --> 01:08:22,363
Wait, wait, here they come.
1206
01:08:24,700 --> 01:08:25,767
Sweet!
1207
01:08:25,769 --> 01:08:28,770
- Hello, Martin.
- I'm sorry I'm late.
1208
01:08:28,772 --> 01:08:31,806
- I had to change.
- Mr. Earl, nice to see you.
1209
01:08:31,808 --> 01:08:36,211
- Nice to see you too, sir.
- Let's move.
1210
01:08:36,345 --> 01:08:40,315
There are 250 million people out
there deciding who to vote for.
1211
01:08:40,317 --> 01:08:43,384
They all know Lewis didn't want
to debate you. Show 'em why.
1212
01:08:43,386 --> 01:08:46,154
- Stay focused.
- Take your time.
1213
01:08:46,156 --> 01:08:50,391
But if he get out of pocket,
you put your foot in his ass.
1214
01:08:50,393 --> 01:08:52,694
By the way, nice suit.
1215
01:08:53,829 --> 01:08:55,130
Fuhbuh?
1216
01:08:55,132 --> 01:08:56,131
[all] FUBU.
1217
01:08:56,133 --> 01:08:58,199
Even I knew that. Mays?
1218
01:08:58,201 --> 01:09:04,239
[moderator] Ladies
and gentlemen, Alderman
Mays Gilliam.
1219
01:09:15,417 --> 01:09:18,653
Yo, when Martin
coming on, man?
1220
01:09:20,289 --> 01:09:23,858
My mama told me
to whup your ass.
1221
01:09:26,595 --> 01:09:31,833
The first question is directed
by coin-flip to the vice
president.
1222
01:09:31,835 --> 01:09:35,470
Vice President Lewis,
what steps should be taken
1223
01:09:35,472 --> 01:09:38,339
to limit our youth's access
to violent materials?
1224
01:09:38,341 --> 01:09:41,809
Our American children's futures
are at stake here.
1225
01:09:41,811 --> 01:09:46,581
I say we need to study
this issue and appropriate
legislation
1226
01:09:46,583 --> 01:09:50,752
that will return us to an
America we can be proud of.
1227
01:09:50,754 --> 01:09:55,390
God bless America,
and no place else.
1228
01:09:58,594 --> 01:10:01,763
Alderman Gilliam.
Same question, please.
1229
01:10:01,765 --> 01:10:05,200
How do we limit violent
material? Turn it off.
1230
01:10:05,202 --> 01:10:07,402
And if the kids cut it back on,
knock 'em out.
1231
01:10:07,404 --> 01:10:09,804
That's why I don't smoke.
When I was a kid,
1232
01:10:09,806 --> 01:10:13,441
my daddy caught me smoking,
and he knocked me out!
1233
01:10:13,443 --> 01:10:16,644
To this day, I don't smoke. Not
because I'm scared of cancer.
1234
01:10:16,646 --> 01:10:19,948
I don't smoke 'cause I think
my dad's gonna walk through
1235
01:10:19,950 --> 01:10:23,551
that door and
knock me the hell out!
1236
01:10:23,553 --> 01:10:26,654
Knock out your kids. It helps!
1237
01:10:29,592 --> 01:10:33,428
- [chuckling]
- [shrieks]
1238
01:10:33,430 --> 01:10:35,763
- Yes!
- Vice President Lewis,
1239
01:10:35,765 --> 01:10:39,901
with over 10,000 gun deaths
per year in the United States,
1240
01:10:39,903 --> 01:10:43,271
do you believe we need
stricter gun control laws?
1241
01:10:43,273 --> 01:10:45,440
I don't think we need
more gun control.
1242
01:10:45,442 --> 01:10:48,643
I say we enforce the laws
that are already on the books.
1243
01:10:48,645 --> 01:10:51,412
See, the problem is,
nobody reads the books.
1244
01:10:51,414 --> 01:10:54,582
What we need to do is
start putting laws on videos.
1245
01:10:54,584 --> 01:10:57,819
'Cause everybody watches
videos, MTV, BET.
1246
01:10:57,821 --> 01:10:59,754
We need to put some laws
on the Nelly video.
1247
01:10:59,756 --> 01:11:05,260
If you had some laws on a
Destiny's Child video right
now, you could stop crime.
1248
01:11:05,262 --> 01:11:09,631
- We already have gun licensing.
- That's only to carry the gun.
1249
01:11:09,633 --> 01:11:10,698
I say we let the people decide.
1250
01:11:10,700 --> 01:11:15,937
People can't decide. People are
busy getting shot in the ass.
1251
01:11:31,453 --> 01:11:34,889
- [crowd chants] Mays Gilliam!
- My brother.
1252
01:11:34,891 --> 01:11:37,525
That's another reason
I say he's not qualified.
1253
01:11:37,527 --> 01:11:41,696
Why, 'cause I had the good sense
to pick my big brother to be my
running mate?
1254
01:11:41,698 --> 01:11:44,365
All right, alderman. I didn't
come here to argue with you.
1255
01:11:44,367 --> 01:11:47,735
Oh, yes, you did. A debate
ain't nothing but an argument.
1256
01:11:47,737 --> 01:11:50,471
- A debate isn't an argument.
- Oh, yes, it is.
1257
01:11:50,473 --> 01:11:52,073
- No, it isn't.
- Oh, yes, it is.
1258
01:11:52,075 --> 01:11:54,509
- No, it isn't.
- Oh, yes, it is.
1259
01:11:54,511 --> 01:11:55,376
[they continue]
1260
01:11:55,378 --> 01:11:59,681
- I know you are, but what am I?
- I know you are, but what am I?
1261
01:11:59,683 --> 01:12:04,886
[they continue]
1262
01:12:04,888 --> 01:12:06,621
Can we move on?
This is ridiculous.
1263
01:12:06,623 --> 01:12:08,056
Gentlemen, our next
question comes from...
1264
01:12:08,058 --> 01:12:14,062
I have a question. Would you
like our reception to be buffet
style or formal seating?
1265
01:12:14,064 --> 01:12:16,030
Keep in mind, if you put
Robert next to Nelson,
1266
01:12:16,032 --> 01:12:20,335
he's going to be angry because
he wanted to be your best man.
1267
01:12:20,337 --> 01:12:21,569
[all] Security!
1268
01:12:21,571 --> 01:12:24,072
- I love you so mu...
- [tires screech]
1269
01:12:24,074 --> 01:12:27,041
The candidates have agreed upon
a short closing speech.
1270
01:12:27,043 --> 01:12:30,545
Vice President Lewis
won the coin toss.
1271
01:12:30,547 --> 01:12:34,949
- He has elected to go first.
- Thank you.
1272
01:12:34,951 --> 01:12:37,385
- No, it isn't.
- Yes, it is.
1273
01:12:37,387 --> 01:12:40,121
Tonight you have seen
two different men
1274
01:12:40,123 --> 01:12:45,460
with two very different points
of view battle to win your vote.
1275
01:12:45,462 --> 01:12:48,963
This is what America
is all about.
1276
01:12:49,131 --> 01:12:50,598
Now, as we've seen tonight,
1277
01:12:50,600 --> 01:12:55,870
Alderman Gilliam can be
captivating and entertaining.
1278
01:12:55,872 --> 01:12:59,941
But America needs more than that
from its commander-in-chief.
1279
01:12:59,943 --> 01:13:03,378
To lead America,
it takes experience.
1280
01:13:03,380 --> 01:13:06,948
Now, I've been vice president
for the last eight years.
1281
01:13:06,950 --> 01:13:12,620
I'm a war hero
and I'm Sharon Stone's cousin.
1282
01:13:12,622 --> 01:13:17,425
And to me, America is like
a fine performance car.
1283
01:13:17,427 --> 01:13:21,729
And now is not the time
to turn this fine vehicle
1284
01:13:21,731 --> 01:13:27,635
we call America over
to the hands of an amateur.
1285
01:13:28,904 --> 01:13:33,741
I'm Brian Lewis,
and I am your last chance.
1286
01:13:33,743 --> 01:13:38,012
God bless America,
and no place else.
1287
01:13:42,551 --> 01:13:45,620
Oh, yeah.
It's over now.
1288
01:13:45,622 --> 01:13:47,555
Why do you have
to be so negative?
1289
01:13:47,557 --> 01:13:50,925
- Give me five.
- [cries out in pain]
1290
01:13:50,927 --> 01:13:53,461
Thank you. Thank you.
1291
01:13:54,430 --> 01:13:56,431
Hold it!
1292
01:13:58,200 --> 01:14:01,202
[applause and cheering]
1293
01:14:04,807 --> 01:14:05,940
Alderman Gilliam?
1294
01:14:05,942 --> 01:14:09,777
You're right, Vice President
Lewis. I am an amateur.
1295
01:14:09,779 --> 01:14:11,679
When it comes to creating
so many enemies
1296
01:14:11,681 --> 01:14:16,584
that we need billions of dollars
to protect ourselves, yes,
I'm an amateur.
1297
01:14:16,586 --> 01:14:18,553
When it comes to paying farmers
not to grow food
1298
01:14:18,555 --> 01:14:23,024
while people in this country
starve every day, yes,
I'm an amateur.
1299
01:14:23,026 --> 01:14:25,893
When it comes to
creating a drug policy
1300
01:14:25,895 --> 01:14:27,028
that makes crack and heroin
1301
01:14:27,030 --> 01:14:29,964
cheaper than asthma
and AIDS medicine,
1302
01:14:29,966 --> 01:14:30,965
yes, I'm an amateur.
1303
01:14:30,967 --> 01:14:33,000
There's nothing wrong
with being an amateur.
1304
01:14:33,002 --> 01:14:36,604
The people that started
the Underground Railroad
were amateurs.
1305
01:14:36,606 --> 01:14:39,073
Martin Luther King
was an amateur.
1306
01:14:39,075 --> 01:14:42,210
Have you ever been to amateur
night at the Apollo?
1307
01:14:42,212 --> 01:14:43,911
Some of the best talent
in the world was there.
1308
01:14:43,913 --> 01:14:48,816
James Brown, Luther Vandross,
Rockwell, the Crown Heights
Affair.
1309
01:14:48,818 --> 01:14:51,953
- Hall and Oates!
- The Fat Boys, Rob Base.
1310
01:14:51,955 --> 01:14:54,489
But you wouldn't know
nothing about that. Why?
1311
01:14:54,491 --> 01:14:57,859
'Cause when it comes to judging
talent and potential,
1312
01:14:57,861 --> 01:15:00,495
you, my friend, are an amateur.
1313
01:15:00,497 --> 01:15:03,097
[cheering]
1314
01:15:05,534 --> 01:15:07,668
I believe the alderman
is over his time.
1315
01:15:07,670 --> 01:15:10,805
No, you had eight years to talk.
Now it's my turn.
1316
01:15:10,807 --> 01:15:14,509
I'm gonna get mine.
I'm getting mine!
1317
01:15:15,711 --> 01:15:17,144
Hold your applause, please.
1318
01:15:17,146 --> 01:15:20,214
How can you help the poor
if you never been poor?
1319
01:15:20,216 --> 01:15:23,751
How can you stop crime
if you don't know no criminals?
1320
01:15:23,753 --> 01:15:29,924
How can you make drug policy
if you never smoked the chronic?
1321
01:15:29,926 --> 01:15:33,694
How can you do that?
Just a nickel bag!
1322
01:15:33,696 --> 01:15:34,829
I'm a real American.
1323
01:15:34,831 --> 01:15:38,099
I've been high, I've been
robbed, I've been broke.
1324
01:15:38,101 --> 01:15:43,271
My credit is horrible.
They won't even take my cash!
1325
01:15:43,273 --> 01:15:47,642
You're always talking about
"God bless America, and
no place else."
1326
01:15:47,644 --> 01:15:50,978
But isn't it obvious that
God has blessed America?
1327
01:15:50,980 --> 01:15:54,615
America is the richest,
most powerful nation on Earth.
1328
01:15:54,617 --> 01:15:59,320
If America was a woman,
America would be a
big-titty woman.
1329
01:15:59,322 --> 01:16:02,256
And everybody loves
a big-titty woman!
1330
01:16:02,258 --> 01:16:08,062
So in closing, I'd like to say,
you are full of shit!
1331
01:16:08,064 --> 01:16:10,998
"God bless America,
and no place else"!
1332
01:16:11,000 --> 01:16:15,269
How about "God bless Haiti"?
How about "God bless Africa"?
1333
01:16:15,271 --> 01:16:16,304
How about "God bless Jamaica"?
1334
01:16:16,306 --> 01:16:18,973
I'm not talking about the
beach tribes you all love.
1335
01:16:18,975 --> 01:16:23,144
I'm talking about stabbing
Jamaica. That's what I'm
talking about.
1336
01:16:23,146 --> 01:16:30,117
So tonight I want to say,
God bless America, and
everybody else!
1337
01:16:30,119 --> 01:16:31,252
The whole world! God bless you!
1338
01:16:31,254 --> 01:16:37,291
I'm Mays Gilliam and I'm running
for President of the United
States of America.
1339
01:16:37,293 --> 01:16:40,027
Ya heard?
1340
01:17:01,083 --> 01:17:04,218
Now we can watch Martin !
1341
01:17:08,657 --> 01:17:11,392
[phone rings]
1342
01:17:15,664 --> 01:17:19,667
- Hello.
- Well, good morning,
Mr. President.
1343
01:17:19,669 --> 01:17:23,671
- Hey, what time is it?
- I think it's a little
after 7:00.
1344
01:17:23,673 --> 01:17:26,273
[woman] Lisa,
I need some help in here!
1345
01:17:26,275 --> 01:17:27,274
Will you wait a damn minute?
1346
01:17:27,276 --> 01:17:31,212
I was so proud of you.
You were so good last night.
1347
01:17:31,214 --> 01:17:35,316
Okay. Lisa.
Tonight I want to see you, okay?
1348
01:17:35,318 --> 01:17:37,952
No matter what, win or lose,
I want to see you.
1349
01:17:37,954 --> 01:17:40,021
I don't know.
I might have to work.
1350
01:17:40,023 --> 01:17:42,356
But look, if I don't see you
tonight, I will see you soon.
1351
01:17:42,358 --> 01:17:46,427
Run your race, get out there,
and do what you gotta do, okay?
1352
01:17:46,429 --> 01:17:49,964
- I'll talk to you later.
- All right.
1353
01:17:49,966 --> 01:17:52,867
[newsreader] It's Election Day,
Tuesday, November 8th, 2004.
1354
01:17:52,869 --> 01:17:57,938
[newsreader #2] The stage
is set for one of the most
dramatic finales of all time.
1355
01:17:57,940 --> 01:18:01,308
[newsreader #3] The question
everyone's asking is, "Who will
America vote for?"
1356
01:18:01,310 --> 01:18:05,813
- Lewis.
- I voted for Mays Gilliam.
- I voted for big business.
1357
01:18:05,815 --> 01:18:09,984
- I voted for Lewis.
- Who the fuck you think
I'm voting for?
1358
01:18:09,986 --> 01:18:13,921
There appears to be agreement
between officials
1359
01:18:13,923 --> 01:18:15,322
and transit authority operators
1360
01:18:15,324 --> 01:18:18,059
regarding the shutdown
of the 9th Ward bus line.
1361
01:18:18,061 --> 01:18:21,762
I don't see how
they could do this to us.
1362
01:18:21,764 --> 01:18:23,130
People got to make money.
1363
01:18:23,132 --> 01:18:26,333
- People got to get to work.
- Show them how you do it.
1364
01:18:26,335 --> 01:18:29,704
♪ The roof, the roof,
the roof is on fire! ♪
1365
01:18:29,706 --> 01:18:34,341
You're not going to believe
this. We got the Teamsters!
1366
01:18:34,343 --> 01:18:35,342
- Yes!
- That's great!
1367
01:18:35,344 --> 01:18:36,811
They're going to
announce it later today.
1368
01:18:36,813 --> 01:18:43,184
All you have to do is show,
shake hands, take photo,
but it is yours.
1369
01:18:43,218 --> 01:18:45,086
Mays! What's the matter?
1370
01:18:45,088 --> 01:18:50,491
If they shut down bus service,
I will drive you to work myself.
1371
01:18:50,493 --> 01:18:52,960
- Can't do it.
- But it's Election Day!
1372
01:18:52,962 --> 01:18:55,429
You have to.
You said you want to win.
1373
01:18:55,431 --> 01:18:59,100
You can't snub the Teamsters.
You want them to endorse Lewis?
1374
01:18:59,102 --> 01:19:02,103
I'm not worried about Lewis.
I'm running my race.
1375
01:19:02,105 --> 01:19:04,138
Go ahead, baby brother.
I got this.
1376
01:19:04,140 --> 01:19:06,340
But Mays... Debra!
1377
01:19:06,342 --> 01:19:09,210
- You're going to let him go?
- He's a grown man.
1378
01:19:09,212 --> 01:19:13,881
They shut down the whole bus
line. What can he do about that?
1379
01:19:13,883 --> 01:19:15,216
[♪ Nelly: Hot In Herre]
1380
01:19:15,218 --> 01:19:17,785
♪ So take off
all your clothes ♪
1381
01:19:17,787 --> 01:19:21,388
♪ Gettin' so hot
I wanna take my clothes off ♪
1382
01:19:21,390 --> 01:19:27,061
[woman] In the latest exit
poll, Lewis has 51 percent.
1383
01:19:27,063 --> 01:19:27,928
He got to vote.
1384
01:19:27,930 --> 01:19:32,800
[man] While Mays Gilliam
is posting 47 percent.
1385
01:19:32,802 --> 01:19:35,469
You gotta get
to the back of the bus.
1386
01:19:35,471 --> 01:19:36,537
I'm just playing. Come on.
1387
01:19:36,539 --> 01:19:41,842
[woman] He and Vice President
Lewis are in a dead heat.
1388
01:19:41,844 --> 01:19:42,510
Come on, hoes!
1389
01:19:42,512 --> 01:19:44,411
[man] While Lewis
and Mitch Gilliam
1390
01:19:44,413 --> 01:19:46,480
have been on the
campaign trail,
1391
01:19:46,482 --> 01:19:50,117
Mays Gilliam has been out
driving people to work.
1392
01:19:50,119 --> 01:19:52,853
♪ The roof
The roof is on fire! ♪
1393
01:19:52,855 --> 01:19:55,790
Damn it! Why didn't
somebody think of this?
1394
01:19:55,792 --> 01:19:58,025
Why am I not out there
driving a damn bus?
1395
01:19:58,027 --> 01:20:01,562
Get me an SUV, or a mini van,
or a bus, or a scooter,
1396
01:20:01,564 --> 01:20:06,901
or a motorcycle, or a rickshaw.
Get me some wheels, bitch!
1397
01:20:07,469 --> 01:20:10,037
Are you going uptown?
1398
01:20:10,039 --> 01:20:12,840
Come on, Mays!
Wait a minute, Mays!
1399
01:20:12,842 --> 01:20:16,210
We could write
our own vows! Mays!
1400
01:20:16,212 --> 01:20:19,380
I love you! I love you, Mays!
1401
01:20:19,382 --> 01:20:23,584
[woman] With the polls thirty
minutes from closing
here on the East coast,
1402
01:20:23,586 --> 01:20:29,089
Mays Gilliam is actually
ahead by several points.
1403
01:20:30,091 --> 01:20:34,228
There is no question
that Lewis has Texas.
1404
01:20:34,462 --> 01:20:39,300
It seems clear Gilliam
is going to take New York.
1405
01:20:40,969 --> 01:20:42,903
New York! New York! New York!
1406
01:20:42,905 --> 01:20:47,074
It's likely Lewis
is going to take Michigan.
1407
01:20:47,076 --> 01:20:52,546
It looks like Gilliam might
just pull an upset in Illinois.
1408
01:20:52,548 --> 01:20:56,450
Illinois! Illinois, yeah!
Go, Mays!
1409
01:20:56,452 --> 01:20:59,186
This looks like it may
come down to California.
1410
01:20:59,188 --> 01:21:01,922
This looks like
it may come down to California.
1411
01:21:01,924 --> 01:21:05,059
This looks like it may
come down to California.
1412
01:21:05,061 --> 01:21:06,460
[crowd oohs and ahs]
1413
01:21:06,462 --> 01:21:07,628
All right, I need to know.
1414
01:21:07,630 --> 01:21:09,296
How real is this?
Can we win without California?
1415
01:21:09,298 --> 01:21:13,467
We stand a good chance if
you call in your connections
to the energy company.
1416
01:21:13,469 --> 01:21:16,303
No, you can't win
without California.
1417
01:21:16,305 --> 01:21:18,205
- What the hell are you doing?
- Oh, shut up.
1418
01:21:18,207 --> 01:21:21,408
You want to win,
you'll do what I tell you.
1419
01:21:21,410 --> 01:21:24,478
Gilliam has over 90 percent
minority turnout.
1420
01:21:24,480 --> 01:21:27,414
The whites are the majority,
but they're not voting.
1421
01:21:27,416 --> 01:21:30,251
- They don't like you.
- I like you, sir.
1422
01:21:30,253 --> 01:21:31,952
- Shut up!
- Okay.
1423
01:21:31,954 --> 01:21:33,120
What can we do
to turn this around?
1424
01:21:33,122 --> 01:21:36,924
There's one and a half hours
left at the West Coast polls.
1425
01:21:36,926 --> 01:21:39,293
If there's a leak saying
Gilliam is going to win,
1426
01:21:39,295 --> 01:21:40,261
you'll get
a late rush.
1427
01:21:40,263 --> 01:21:44,632
You get California,
you get the election.
1428
01:21:44,634 --> 01:21:46,500
It'll make the
6:30 news if we do it now.
1429
01:21:46,502 --> 01:21:48,569
We just have to
put it out there.
1430
01:21:48,571 --> 01:21:52,206
- Can we do this?
- We're the government.
We can do anything.
1431
01:21:52,208 --> 01:21:54,575
[man] The race now turns
to the West Coast.
1432
01:21:54,577 --> 01:21:57,912
[Dave] Armageddon is upon
us and Big Dave is scared.
1433
01:21:57,914 --> 01:21:59,647
[man] On current
voting trends,
1434
01:21:59,649 --> 01:22:02,283
it's likely that for the
first time in our history
1435
01:22:02,285 --> 01:22:06,687
a black man will become
President of the United States
of America.
1436
01:22:06,689 --> 01:22:10,624
[voice whispers] One, two.
One, two, three...
1437
01:22:10,626 --> 01:22:13,928
[rap music plays]
1438
01:22:16,031 --> 01:22:18,966
[screaming]
1439
01:22:37,118 --> 01:22:39,987
[anguished cry]
1440
01:22:43,992 --> 01:22:46,160
[Martin Luther King]
I have a dream
1441
01:22:46,162 --> 01:22:52,066
that one day
this nation will rise up
1442
01:22:52,068 --> 01:22:56,303
and live out the
true meaning of its creed.
1443
01:22:56,305 --> 01:22:59,606
"We hold these truths
to be self-evident:
1444
01:22:59,608 --> 01:23:03,978
that all men
are created equal."
1445
01:23:04,012 --> 01:23:04,611
Checkmate.
1446
01:23:04,613 --> 01:23:06,513
I, Richard Nixon,
do solemnly swear...
1447
01:23:06,515 --> 01:23:11,018
I, Ronald Reagan,
do solemnly swear...
1448
01:23:16,758 --> 01:23:18,625
The race for president is over.
1449
01:23:18,627 --> 01:23:20,294
The race for president
is over.
1450
01:23:20,296 --> 01:23:21,528
The election is now over.
1451
01:23:21,530 --> 01:23:23,197
- The race for president...
- ..is over.
1452
01:23:23,199 --> 01:23:26,600
- Mays Gilliam...
- Brian Lewis...
1453
01:23:26,602 --> 01:23:28,535
The race for president is over.
1454
01:23:28,537 --> 01:23:33,240
For the first time in history
a black man, Mays Gilliam,
1455
01:23:33,242 --> 01:23:39,046
will be the next President of
the United States of America.
1456
01:23:50,658 --> 01:23:54,294
..of the United States
of America.
1457
01:23:57,365 --> 01:24:00,467
Come here, brother.
1458
01:24:00,668 --> 01:24:04,405
- I love you, man.
- I love you too.
1459
01:24:08,243 --> 01:24:11,245
We won, we won, we won!
1460
01:24:12,514 --> 01:24:15,749
I appreciate it.
Thanks a lot.
1461
01:24:17,685 --> 01:24:20,687
Thank you.
1462
01:24:20,689 --> 01:24:23,357
- Thank you.
- We won! We won! We won!
1463
01:24:23,359 --> 01:24:24,691
Aren't you happy?
1464
01:24:24,693 --> 01:24:27,594
- Can I have a massage?
- Yes!
1465
01:24:27,596 --> 01:24:29,830
I won! I won! I won!
1466
01:24:29,832 --> 01:24:33,467
There is no way in the world I
could've done this without you.
1467
01:24:33,469 --> 01:24:36,770
- You're damn right.
- We won! We did it! Yes!
1468
01:24:36,772 --> 01:24:40,641
- We did it! We won!
- [bang]
1469
01:24:40,643 --> 01:24:41,642
Look at my little brother!
1470
01:24:41,644 --> 01:24:45,813
- I'm proud of you!
Mr. President!
- Mr. Vice President!
1471
01:24:45,815 --> 01:24:47,548
- You the man.
- No, you the man.
1472
01:24:47,550 --> 01:24:49,650
You ain't gotta worry
about no assassination.
1473
01:24:49,652 --> 01:24:52,586
- Why?
- They don't want me
as the next president.
1474
01:24:52,588 --> 01:24:55,155
You can raise taxes,
you can start a war...
1475
01:24:55,157 --> 01:25:02,329
- Mays Gilliam.
- That's my man! That's my man!
1476
01:25:02,363 --> 01:25:04,765
- Excuse me, please. Mays!
- Hey!
1477
01:25:04,767 --> 01:25:08,435
- Man, I was looking for you.
- I was looking for you. Mays!
1478
01:25:08,437 --> 01:25:10,270
- This is amazing.
- It's amazing.
1479
01:25:10,272 --> 01:25:12,206
- It's incredible.
- Incredible.
1480
01:25:12,208 --> 01:25:14,108
- What you were up against.
- The odds!
1481
01:25:14,110 --> 01:25:18,278
I can't wait to start working,
boy, do I have a job for you.
1482
01:25:18,280 --> 01:25:20,114
Wow! I don't know
what to say.
1483
01:25:20,116 --> 01:25:22,216
What department do you
want me to work in? Finance?
1484
01:25:22,218 --> 01:25:25,219
No, no, no, that's not
good enough for you.
1485
01:25:25,221 --> 01:25:27,721
- Foreign Affairs?
- No, not Foreign Affairs.
1486
01:25:27,723 --> 01:25:31,125
I thought you could do
something real good in...
1487
01:25:31,127 --> 01:25:33,127
Security!
1488
01:25:33,129 --> 01:25:34,795
You suck!
1489
01:25:38,399 --> 01:25:40,601
[Bill] We'd like you
to run for president.
1490
01:25:40,603 --> 01:25:45,405
[Mays] Sometimes
you don't know if
people like you for you.
1491
01:25:45,407 --> 01:25:48,509
[Lisa] Well,
I like you for you.
1492
01:25:48,511 --> 01:25:51,545
Thanks a lot. Lisa!
1493
01:25:51,547 --> 01:25:52,513
Mays!
1494
01:25:52,515 --> 01:25:55,315
Get your hand off my ass, boy!
1495
01:25:55,317 --> 01:25:57,918
Wait!
1496
01:25:59,154 --> 01:26:05,292
Mays... Oh, my God, you are
everywhere. Look at you!
1497
01:26:05,894 --> 01:26:06,527
Okay.
1498
01:26:06,529 --> 01:26:08,595
What's the first thing
you're gonna do, Mr. President?
1499
01:26:08,597 --> 01:26:12,866
Well, the first thing I'm gonna
do is make you my First Lady.
1500
01:26:12,868 --> 01:26:15,736
- Don't you play with me
like that.
- I'm not playing.
1501
01:26:15,738 --> 01:26:18,906
- You can't do that!
- I'm the government.
1502
01:26:18,908 --> 01:26:21,909
I can do anything.
1503
01:26:36,558 --> 01:26:42,529
[man] Get ready for the 2005
presidential inaugural ball.
1504
01:26:42,531 --> 01:26:43,497
Ladies and gentlemen,
1505
01:26:43,499 --> 01:26:47,568
the President of
the United States of America,
1506
01:26:47,570 --> 01:26:48,502
Mays Gilliam,
1507
01:26:48,504 --> 01:26:53,740
and his future first wifey,
Lisa Clark!
1508
01:26:54,309 --> 01:26:57,377
[dance music plays]
1509
01:27:04,252 --> 01:27:05,986
♪ Look at him now, man
ain't this great ♪
1510
01:27:05,988 --> 01:27:08,455
♪ Biggest man in town
he's the head of state ♪
1511
01:27:08,457 --> 01:27:10,924
♪ They come from all around
just for one handshake ♪
1512
01:27:10,926 --> 01:27:16,296
♪ Look at him now
he's the head of state ♪
1513
01:27:20,935 --> 01:27:22,236
[Mays] That's me.
1514
01:27:22,238 --> 01:27:27,874
Mays Gilliam, President of
the United States of America.
1515
01:27:27,876 --> 01:27:30,777
North America.
1516
01:27:35,783 --> 01:27:37,951
- [man] Who'd you vote for?
- For what?
1517
01:27:37,953 --> 01:27:39,620
- For president.
- Of what?
1518
01:27:39,622 --> 01:27:41,922
- of the United States.
- Of what?
1519
01:27:41,924 --> 01:27:43,423
- Of America.
- What America?
1520
01:27:43,425 --> 01:27:45,659
- North America.
- Yo, I don't vote.
1521
01:27:45,661 --> 01:27:48,328
You gonna buy some
of this meat or what?
1522
01:27:48,330 --> 01:27:49,663
You can't trust nobody.
1523
01:27:49,665 --> 01:27:52,466
Everybody trying to rob you.
Nobody!
1524
01:27:52,468 --> 01:27:55,569
That guy right there!
Don't trust him!
1525
01:27:55,571 --> 01:27:56,737
Can't trust no-damn-body!
1526
01:27:56,739 --> 01:27:59,506
America's taken advantage
of you, you and you.
1527
01:27:59,508 --> 01:28:01,341
You can go to war
when you're 18,
1528
01:28:01,343 --> 01:28:03,877
but you can't have a drink
until you're 21!
1529
01:28:03,879 --> 01:28:06,413
- That ain't right!
- You're right.
1530
01:28:06,415 --> 01:28:08,782
So let me get this straight.
You're 18 years old.
1531
01:28:08,784 --> 01:28:11,518
You go to war. You come back.
Your leg is chopped off.
1532
01:28:11,520 --> 01:28:16,556
You got a damn nub!
Everywhere you go they say,
"What's up, nubby?"
1533
01:28:16,558 --> 01:28:20,060
And you get to the bar
and you say, "Bartender,
can I have a drink?"
1534
01:28:20,062 --> 01:28:22,896
And he looks you up and down and
says, "I got to see some I.D."
1535
01:28:22,898 --> 01:28:27,934
I.D.?! You mean to tell me
a one-legged teenager
can't have a drink?
1536
01:28:27,936 --> 01:28:32,673
- That ain't right!
- Where's the nub?
Where is the nub?
1537
01:28:32,675 --> 01:28:34,975
Prescription drugs,
I'm gonna lower the prices.
1538
01:28:34,977 --> 01:28:37,477
Let me explain
something else to you.
1539
01:28:37,479 --> 01:28:38,645
You can survive a stroke,
1540
01:28:38,647 --> 01:28:41,815
but the high prices of medicine
will give you a heart attack.
1541
01:28:41,817 --> 01:28:45,719
America is the richest,
most powerful nation on Earth.
1542
01:28:45,721 --> 01:28:49,656
If America was a car,
America would be a Bentley
1543
01:28:49,658 --> 01:28:54,561
sitting on chrome doves
with TVs in the headrests
1544
01:28:54,563 --> 01:28:58,398
and a fine naked Puerto Rican
girl feeding you grapes!
1545
01:28:58,400 --> 01:28:59,933
Ain't nothing
better than that!
1546
01:28:59,935 --> 01:29:01,902
Ain't nothing ever
been better than that!
1547
01:29:01,904 --> 01:29:04,071
Most pundits are saying
your brother destroyed
1548
01:29:04,073 --> 01:29:07,107
any chance he had of winning
this election by naming you
1549
01:29:07,109 --> 01:29:08,809
- as his running mate.
- Why did he do that?
1550
01:29:08,811 --> 01:29:10,344
Why'd yours pick you
as anchorman?
1551
01:29:10,346 --> 01:29:11,078
I don't have a brother.
1552
01:29:11,080 --> 01:29:12,446
You said it was
your brother.
1553
01:29:12,448 --> 01:29:14,381
I did my homework
same way you did.
1554
01:29:14,383 --> 01:29:17,017
You got your job
same way I got mine.
1555
01:29:17,019 --> 01:29:18,385
I'm not running
for public office.
1556
01:29:18,387 --> 01:29:21,588
And I'm not running
for anchorman.