1 00:00:02,350 --> 00:00:06,049 Whoa, wilbur, here I go! 2 00:00:06,093 --> 00:00:07,853 I'm running pretty good now, and I'm gonna take a 3 00:00:07,877 --> 00:00:11,054 jump, and... Oh, I got wings, and I'm flying! Oh! 4 00:00:11,098 --> 00:00:13,926 Tri-star pictures, where anything can happen. 5 00:00:24,285 --> 00:00:29,551 ♪ Come with me my love to the sea 6 00:00:29,594 --> 00:00:32,467 ♪ to... to the sea the sea of love 7 00:00:32,510 --> 00:00:39,039 ♪ oh I want to tell you how much I love you 8 00:00:41,606 --> 00:00:44,479 ♪ love you, I love you I love you, I do 9 00:00:44,522 --> 00:00:47,351 ♪ bom, bom, bom do you remember when we met 10 00:00:52,139 --> 00:00:57,666 ♪ that's the day I knew you were my pet I want to tell you 11 00:01:00,277 --> 00:01:03,367 ♪ how much I love you I love you, I love you 12 00:01:07,415 --> 00:01:10,374 ♪ bom-bom-bom-bom come with me 13 00:01:14,509 --> 00:01:18,904 ♪ - oooh, with me. - To the sea 14 00:01:20,210 --> 00:01:23,344 ♪ of love mmm. ♪ 15 00:01:27,435 --> 00:01:29,785 Is your diaphragm in? Mm-hmm. Mmm. 16 00:01:35,443 --> 00:01:41,144 Okay. Now, let me see if I got this straight. Uh, Santa claus is real, 17 00:01:41,188 --> 00:01:46,584 but ghosts aren't real. Cowboys are real, but, um, 18 00:01:46,628 --> 00:01:51,459 witches aren't real. Dinosaurs aren't real, and monsters used to be 19 00:01:51,502 --> 00:01:54,026 real. Or was it the other way around? 20 00:01:54,070 --> 00:01:56,246 I got to listen a little bit more. I mean, just because 21 00:01:56,290 --> 00:02:00,294 it's dark doesn't mean monsters are comin' out. These are just my toys... 22 00:02:00,337 --> 00:02:04,776 The same toys that... I'm sure that's... I don't 23 00:02:04,820 --> 00:02:07,518 remember it having batteries, but I'm sure that's fine. 24 00:02:07,562 --> 00:02:12,175 I'm sure that there's a... oh... Oh my god! 25 00:02:12,219 --> 00:02:15,439 Monsters! There's monsters in my 26 00:02:15,483 --> 00:02:18,703 room! Maybe I should get under the covers now. 27 00:02:18,747 --> 00:02:21,445 Yeah. I'll just... 28 00:02:37,679 --> 00:02:40,595 I have to get that. No, he won't stop. 29 00:02:40,638 --> 00:02:43,946 He'll stop. All right. - Help! Monsters! -I'll do it, okay? 30 00:02:43,989 --> 00:02:48,646 Okay. No, no. No, don't read your accounting 31 00:02:48,690 --> 00:02:50,779 -magazines. - Why not? -'Cause it gets you 32 00:02:50,822 --> 00:02:54,217 -out of the mood. - Monsters! Monsters! -Okay? All right. 33 00:02:54,261 --> 00:02:56,176 Okay. You behave. 34 00:02:57,394 --> 00:02:59,222 Okay, Mike. I'm comin'. 35 00:02:59,266 --> 00:03:02,007 - Monsters! - Monsters? Where? 36 00:03:02,051 --> 00:03:04,923 There's no monsters. Look, see? Do you see any monsters? 37 00:03:04,967 --> 00:03:07,056 Well, yeah. 38 00:03:07,099 --> 00:03:09,232 I think it was popeye. Yeah, he was the one who did it. 39 00:03:09,276 --> 00:03:11,539 Why, of all the things... I'll take that gumby, 40 00:03:11,582 --> 00:03:12,951 and I'll knock him from here to kingdom come, 41 00:03:12,975 --> 00:03:16,021 - I tell ya. - I think my daddy likes 42 00:03:16,065 --> 00:03:20,504 - these toys more than I do. - Who else? Pee-wee? 43 00:03:20,548 --> 00:03:23,333 - No. - Ha. Ha-ha-ha. Ha. 44 00:03:23,377 --> 00:03:25,857 I wonder if he's gonna do the flyin' turd gag now. 45 00:03:25,901 --> 00:03:31,559 Watch out, Mikey, it's a flyin' turd. Ow! 46 00:03:31,602 --> 00:03:36,738 - Good night, honey. You're so crazy. - I'll just tuck myself in. 47 00:03:36,781 --> 00:03:39,610 - Is that good? - Why did I call you in here? 48 00:03:39,654 --> 00:03:43,919 Aw, come on, Mollie. 49 00:03:43,962 --> 00:03:46,617 I told you not to read this. Now, get up. 50 00:03:46,661 --> 00:03:50,534 - Come on. Get up, honey. - Oh, I can't. -Why? Oh, come on. 51 00:03:50,578 --> 00:03:52,144 I just got him to go to sleep. 52 00:03:52,188 --> 00:03:54,712 We never get to do it anymore. Please. 53 00:03:54,756 --> 00:03:58,194 Please get up, honey. I'm sleeping. 54 00:03:58,238 --> 00:04:00,849 I know. You wouldn't have any fun doing it 55 00:04:00,892 --> 00:04:03,199 -with me when I'm sleeping. - Well, it's never 56 00:04:03,243 --> 00:04:09,249 - stopped us before. - Oh. Mmm. 57 00:04:15,385 --> 00:04:20,477 Oh, come on. Outta my way, man! This ain't no wet dream. 58 00:04:29,225 --> 00:04:34,056 Hey, what's going on? Am I hearing things? Yoo-hoo, is somebody 59 00:04:34,099 --> 00:04:35,579 there? 60 00:04:50,551 --> 00:04:53,336 Get outta my way! I know where I'm goin', man. 61 00:04:53,380 --> 00:04:56,470 Bright idea. Now we're lost. 62 00:04:56,513 --> 00:05:01,257 Why? I been here before, that's why. 63 00:05:01,301 --> 00:05:05,348 Who is it? Who is it? What do you want? Go away! Ooh. 64 00:05:05,392 --> 00:05:09,483 Tail, don't fail me now. We are the guys. We are the winners. 65 00:05:09,526 --> 00:05:11,572 I think I can, I think I can. I think I can. 66 00:05:11,615 --> 00:05:13,487 There we are. Come on, guys. Let's go. 67 00:05:13,530 --> 00:05:17,142 We're in. We're in. We're doin' it. We are. Let's go. Keep goin'. 68 00:05:17,186 --> 00:05:21,712 Keep movin'. Come on. Come on. Keep movin' guys, please. 69 00:05:21,756 --> 00:05:24,541 I don't think I can. I don't think I can. Help me out, buddy. 70 00:05:24,585 --> 00:05:27,501 As long as one of us makes it. Come on, buddy, 71 00:05:27,544 --> 00:05:31,287 oh, no. Oh, no, oh, no. It's the tadpole squad! 72 00:05:31,331 --> 00:05:35,030 Ew. Ew! 73 00:05:46,041 --> 00:05:47,912 You can't bully me! You can't 74 00:05:47,956 --> 00:05:50,306 get through this diaphragm! 75 00:05:50,350 --> 00:05:53,440 ♪ Neener-neener-neener hey, guys, I found a way through! ♪ 76 00:05:53,483 --> 00:05:56,051 Over here by the rim! Yes! 77 00:05:59,097 --> 00:06:02,797 Hey, buster, how'd you get in here? This is my womb. Get outta here! Shoo! 78 00:06:02,840 --> 00:06:05,713 Shoo! Here we go. You know why I'm here. 79 00:06:05,756 --> 00:06:07,584 No! Don't! Stop that! Come on, give it up. 80 00:06:07,628 --> 00:06:09,934 Give it up! Stop doing that! Ow! Eee! 81 00:06:09,978 --> 00:06:11,762 Let me in, baby. Let me in. 82 00:06:11,806 --> 00:06:14,678 Come on, mama. Come on, hot mama. You're a hot mama. 83 00:06:14,722 --> 00:06:17,420 Ow! Hot mama! 84 00:06:17,464 --> 00:06:22,251 Yes! Yes! Oooh! 85 00:06:30,868 --> 00:06:33,131 Well, here I am... 86 00:06:33,175 --> 00:06:35,438 All conceived and nowhere to go. 87 00:06:42,140 --> 00:06:45,317 Ah you missed! Go wide! 88 00:06:45,361 --> 00:06:49,887 Look out! Ooh! Hi, honey. 89 00:06:49,931 --> 00:06:56,546 Hi. Hi, honey. Hi, honey. 90 00:06:56,590 --> 00:07:00,985 What'd you get for me? This isn't for you. This is for you. 91 00:07:01,029 --> 00:07:05,207 - It is a... la-da! - Don't you think he's a little young for that? 92 00:07:05,250 --> 00:07:08,253 A little young? That hat's never gonna fit me! 93 00:07:08,297 --> 00:07:10,473 - All right. You tell 'im. - I'm not telling him 94 00:07:10,517 --> 00:07:12,780 about it. You're the guy. Forget it! 95 00:07:12,823 --> 00:07:18,089 - No, when we have a girl, I will explain it to her. - Oh, brother. 96 00:07:18,133 --> 00:07:22,877 All right. Here goes. Mike, this is a potty, okay? 97 00:07:22,920 --> 00:07:26,402 - Now, when you wanna take a piss, you do it... - Don't say "piss." 98 00:07:26,446 --> 00:07:28,230 All right. When you wanna take a whiz... 99 00:07:28,273 --> 00:07:30,972 - No. - What? "See a man about a horse" 100 00:07:31,015 --> 00:07:32,166 "drain the snake"? What do you want me to 101 00:07:32,190 --> 00:07:34,758 -say? - "Pee-pee." -pee-pee's such a wimp 102 00:07:34,802 --> 00:07:37,544 -word. I don't... - No, pee-pee is easy to say. 103 00:07:37,587 --> 00:07:39,633 All right, when you wanna take a pee-pee, okay, 104 00:07:39,676 --> 00:07:43,332 you do it in here. You just do this. Just take it out, okay? 105 00:07:43,375 --> 00:07:47,858 - Oh, come on. - What? -Dad, who's kiddin' who, huh? 106 00:07:47,902 --> 00:07:50,295 And, the same token, when you wanna take a 107 00:07:50,339 --> 00:07:53,081 -dump. - Poo-poo. -This is a joke, right? 108 00:07:53,124 --> 00:07:55,170 - I know it sounds disgusting, Mike, 109 00:07:55,213 --> 00:07:58,173 but, you know, you got to trust me on this, okay? 110 00:07:58,216 --> 00:08:00,001 You want me to take a 111 00:08:00,044 --> 00:08:02,830 - dump outside my diaper? - He doesn't like it. 112 00:08:02,873 --> 00:08:05,397 - He does too. - He doesn't like it. -We just have to make it 113 00:08:05,441 --> 00:08:07,443 fun for him. 114 00:08:09,010 --> 00:08:12,404 ♪ Come along and be my potty boy 115 00:08:12,448 --> 00:08:16,191 ♪ come along and be my potty boy -is this really an 116 00:08:16,234 --> 00:08:18,541 ♪ -appropriate subject for a musical? 117 00:08:18,585 --> 00:08:22,676 ♪ And you can potty too yes, you my girl likes to 118 00:08:22,719 --> 00:08:28,856 ♪ potty all the time potty all the time you got to fight 119 00:08:28,899 --> 00:08:33,904 ♪ for your right mmm to potty 120 00:08:33,948 --> 00:08:40,476 ♪ you got to fight for your right to potty ♪ 121 00:08:40,520 --> 00:08:43,566 - He doesn't like it. - He likes it. -Hey, I don't care 122 00:08:43,610 --> 00:08:45,873 what they say. I ain't poopin' in that thing. 123 00:08:45,916 --> 00:08:50,530 I got my standards. 124 00:08:50,573 --> 00:08:51,792 It's your keys! 125 00:08:51,835 --> 00:08:56,536 Toss 'em! Yo, thanks, babe. Whew. 126 00:08:56,579 --> 00:09:01,802 You were really lucky with those keys, I'll tell ya. 127 00:09:01,845 --> 00:09:04,326 I was starting to think I could really love Brad, 128 00:09:04,369 --> 00:09:07,503 then I noticed this face he made, kind of like... 129 00:09:07,547 --> 00:09:09,133 Like, if I said, "what do you want to do?" 130 00:09:09,157 --> 00:09:11,725 There'd be this face. You know? Or, "how'd you like 131 00:09:11,768 --> 00:09:14,684 "that movie?" It's just this face that says, "I don't know. 132 00:09:14,728 --> 00:09:17,948 What do you want to do?" And then I had this flash forward of having kids 133 00:09:17,992 --> 00:09:20,211 and the kids making that face. 134 00:09:20,255 --> 00:09:23,345 - And then I knew it was over. - You are deranged. 135 00:09:23,388 --> 00:09:27,915 You know that, don't you? Oh! Oh, you know what? 136 00:09:27,958 --> 00:09:30,352 If you want a boy, you eat more sodium-rich food. 137 00:09:30,395 --> 00:09:33,181 If you want a girl, you eat more dairy. Really? Who says? 138 00:09:33,224 --> 00:09:35,705 I read it. Where? Harvard medical journal 139 00:09:35,749 --> 00:09:38,969 or the national enquirer? I think the star. 140 00:09:39,013 --> 00:09:42,059 If you have a preference you'd better act now. Those sex organs are 141 00:09:42,103 --> 00:09:43,321 forming soon. 142 00:09:43,365 --> 00:09:46,411 Let's see. Two arms, two legs... 143 00:09:46,455 --> 00:09:50,285 - And two mouths? - "D," and what comes up? 144 00:09:50,328 --> 00:09:53,201 Dog. - Yeah, yeah, yeah. I know all about 145 00:09:53,244 --> 00:09:55,856 computers. - How 'bout that one? Scoot over, girls. I got a lot 146 00:09:55,899 --> 00:09:59,163 of work to do here. Let's see. I'll just try... 147 00:09:59,207 --> 00:10:00,643 This one. 148 00:10:00,687 --> 00:10:04,647 And let's see, what do we get? A jar! Beautiful. 149 00:10:04,691 --> 00:10:07,650 I'm pretty good at this. Maybe I ought to get a job here. 150 00:10:07,694 --> 00:10:10,740 What are you girls up to? 151 00:10:10,784 --> 00:10:12,916 Nothing. - What's going on in here? I don't know why... 152 00:10:12,960 --> 00:10:15,092 - whoa. So this is how grownups 153 00:10:15,136 --> 00:10:18,008 -get so tall. - We were just, uh, finishing up 154 00:10:18,052 --> 00:10:21,925 - the, uh, margolis account here. - The margolis account, huh? 155 00:10:21,969 --> 00:10:24,406 What are you gonna do... Send margolis a 156 00:10:24,449 --> 00:10:26,384 - spreadsheet with pictures? - No. -Tickle, tickle, tickle. 157 00:10:26,408 --> 00:10:29,106 I think something funny is going on here, and I... 158 00:10:29,150 --> 00:10:31,979 - What's that? - What's up, my man? 159 00:10:32,022 --> 00:10:36,548 It looks like a kid. "It looks like a kid." I can see it's a kid! 160 00:10:36,592 --> 00:10:39,290 What is a kid doing in here? This is not a nursery school. 161 00:10:39,334 --> 00:10:41,771 Mr. Russell, let me explain. It was an 162 00:10:41,815 --> 00:10:44,141 -emergency situation. - Oh, it was an emergency. I see. I see what you're 163 00:10:44,165 --> 00:10:47,516 up to. You think that because you have a son 164 00:10:47,559 --> 00:10:50,345 and you're pregnant, you deserve special consideration. 165 00:10:50,388 --> 00:10:51,955 Oh, no, I would never ask for special 166 00:10:51,999 --> 00:10:54,392 - consideration. - Let me tell you something. 167 00:10:54,436 --> 00:10:57,134 Accountancy is filled with hardship. 168 00:10:57,178 --> 00:10:59,397 It's nothing but sacrifice. 169 00:10:59,441 --> 00:11:02,159 If you wanted something easy, why don't you become a dental hygienist or 170 00:11:02,183 --> 00:11:05,795 a car-rental person? You know, when I had a bleeding ulcer, and 171 00:11:05,839 --> 00:11:07,623 I came out of the anesthetic... 172 00:11:07,667 --> 00:11:10,191 Somebody's loud and opinionated. 173 00:11:11,671 --> 00:11:14,151 - Oy! - "Where's my adding 174 00:11:14,195 --> 00:11:17,720 machine? "Where's my calculator?" That's what I said! 175 00:11:17,764 --> 00:11:20,288 And let me tell you something else, young lady, huh? 176 00:11:20,331 --> 00:11:23,421 ♪ -Hey, I have a kid. La-la-la-la-la-la-la here, shoes. Have a drink. 177 00:11:23,465 --> 00:11:26,337 ♪ La-la-la-la-la-la-la 178 00:11:26,381 --> 00:11:31,081 you mess with my mother, you mess with me. 179 00:11:31,125 --> 00:11:33,301 Mikey, drinks are for drinking, toys are for playing. 180 00:11:36,783 --> 00:11:39,742 So, how did you arrive at this figure for your tips? 181 00:11:39,786 --> 00:11:44,051 - I guessed. - You kept track for a period of time 182 00:11:44,094 --> 00:11:46,009 - and did a projected estimate. - Uh-uh. 183 00:11:46,053 --> 00:11:51,885 - I made it up. - You made it up? -Mm-hmm. 184 00:11:51,928 --> 00:11:58,152 Now, as a flight instructor, you eared $9,212? 185 00:11:58,195 --> 00:12:01,329 Really? Hey, that's pretty good. 186 00:12:01,372 --> 00:12:04,462 - You realize... That that's only... -177. 187 00:12:04,506 --> 00:12:09,641 -$177 dollars a week. - It's not my main job. -You seem to spend 188 00:12:09,685 --> 00:12:12,185 -most of your time doing it. - Ma, knock it off. -You heard him say it's not 189 00:12:12,209 --> 00:12:13,994 his main job. Cut him some slack. 190 00:12:14,037 --> 00:12:16,039 Well, since I've been married, I haven't had an 191 00:12:16,083 --> 00:12:18,496 opportunity to fly. At the rate I'm going, I'll never work for an airline. 192 00:12:18,520 --> 00:12:20,628 At this rate, there's a lot of things you won't be doing. 193 00:12:20,652 --> 00:12:22,785 Unlike your son, Stuart... 194 00:12:22,829 --> 00:12:25,788 Who's got a plethora of opportunities, a regular genius. 195 00:12:25,832 --> 00:12:29,444 We're talking about you and 196 00:12:29,487 --> 00:12:33,840 - Mollie and your income tax. - Every two weeks he calls Mollie for money. 197 00:12:33,883 --> 00:12:35,513 Don't worry about Stuart. He'll be all right 198 00:12:35,537 --> 00:12:36,930 as soon as he settles down. 199 00:12:36,973 --> 00:12:39,671 He has a degree in accounting... Which is like money in 200 00:12:39,715 --> 00:12:41,635 the bank, something you don't know anything about. 201 00:12:44,111 --> 00:12:46,548 Mike, what do you say we go out and get some carvel? 202 00:12:46,591 --> 00:12:48,811 I've got the time, if you got the diapers. 203 00:12:48,855 --> 00:12:50,378 Come on, buddy. Come on. 204 00:12:52,206 --> 00:12:53,947 I can't believe you did that. 205 00:12:53,990 --> 00:12:55,992 What? What did I say? Ma, you are forever 206 00:12:56,036 --> 00:12:59,256 - on his case. - He's a slob. He's belligerent. 207 00:12:59,300 --> 00:13:02,129 He has the earning capacity of an illiterate 208 00:13:02,172 --> 00:13:04,174 immigrant. But I'm not gonna say anything 209 00:13:04,218 --> 00:13:06,133 if that's what you want. That's what I want. 210 00:13:06,176 --> 00:13:07,308 That's what I want. 211 00:13:10,659 --> 00:13:13,314 That's your baby sister, Julie, in there. 212 00:13:13,357 --> 00:13:15,011 She's kicking! Now, wait a minute. 213 00:13:15,055 --> 00:13:18,232 Let me get this straight. My sister is in my juice cup? 214 00:13:18,275 --> 00:13:23,367 You wanna feel it? Here. Gimme your hand. 215 00:13:23,411 --> 00:13:29,504 - Oh, in there. Whoa! - Don't you just hate it when you get your head 216 00:13:29,547 --> 00:13:32,333 -caught in your placenta? - I know, let's play her 217 00:13:32,376 --> 00:13:35,989 a little song, mom. This was always good for me. 218 00:13:38,295 --> 00:13:39,731 ♪ 219 00:13:42,822 --> 00:13:43,822 Aw. Oh, now I'll never get 220 00:13:45,128 --> 00:13:46,347 that tune outta my head. 221 00:13:51,047 --> 00:13:52,875 When I have 222 00:13:52,919 --> 00:13:54,964 this new baby girl, I'm gonna need your help. Okay? 223 00:13:55,008 --> 00:13:58,925 And you know why? Okay. Tell me. Because you're gonna be 224 00:13:58,968 --> 00:14:03,625 Julie's big brother. All right! Lay one on me! 225 00:14:03,668 --> 00:14:06,584 Night-night, honey. Night-night. Remember, you're gonna be 226 00:14:06,628 --> 00:14:08,848 her big brother. I'm gonna be a big brother. 227 00:14:08,891 --> 00:14:10,327 I'm gonna be a big brother. 228 00:14:26,169 --> 00:14:28,084 Okay, that feels pretty good. 229 00:14:28,128 --> 00:14:30,260 Here we go, in the... 230 00:14:30,304 --> 00:14:33,220 Oop! Not in the nose. Okay, bottoms up. 231 00:14:42,142 --> 00:14:43,360 Do you believe what they're 232 00:14:43,404 --> 00:14:45,623 askin' for Teddy bears? I'm tellin' ya, it's a 233 00:14:45,667 --> 00:14:49,671 crime. Well, I think we got 234 00:14:49,714 --> 00:14:51,716 Teddy bear, teething rings, 235 00:14:51,760 --> 00:14:54,719 p.j. Sparkles. Yes, I'll kiss you. 236 00:14:59,333 --> 00:15:00,682 Here ya go, ace. Keep the change. 237 00:15:02,336 --> 00:15:04,686 All right, baby, here we go. Gum this down. 238 00:15:04,729 --> 00:15:06,601 No, there's no salt on it. 239 00:15:15,305 --> 00:15:18,961 Hey! Hey, punk! Get your own toy! 240 00:15:19,005 --> 00:15:22,965 All right. That's it. Give... you give... I'll rip your lungs out! 241 00:15:23,009 --> 00:15:25,837 Give it to me! Hey, what are you smilin' at? 242 00:15:25,881 --> 00:15:28,928 I guess you never messed with anybody's big brother before, huh? 243 00:15:28,971 --> 00:15:32,366 Gimme it! Oh. There ya go. Take that. 244 00:15:32,409 --> 00:15:34,977 Here ya go, baby. Yeah, you can put it back in your mouth. 245 00:15:35,021 --> 00:15:39,242 Mmm, I love you so much. I'll never let anybody hurt you. 246 00:15:43,855 --> 00:15:45,683 Oh, wow. 247 00:15:45,727 --> 00:15:48,164 Looks like I got my work cut out for me. 248 00:15:48,208 --> 00:15:51,254 What did I tell you? Look at this mess you've gotten us into. 249 00:15:51,298 --> 00:15:54,736 You see, I told you to take 48th. You should have taken 48th! 250 00:15:54,779 --> 00:15:57,608 - 48th is just as bad. - Hey, look, take a quick left. 251 00:15:57,652 --> 00:16:00,698 - We'll shoot over to 46th. - Poor daddy... hangin' out 252 00:16:00,742 --> 00:16:04,093 - with buttholes all day long. - 46th! Ah, you didn't take the left! 253 00:16:04,137 --> 00:16:05,679 Dad, you wanna think about gettin' some toys in 254 00:16:05,703 --> 00:16:10,143 here? I mean, it's lonely in the front seat. 255 00:16:10,186 --> 00:16:11,971 Maybe I'll just push this thing. 256 00:16:12,014 --> 00:16:13,842 That doesn't work. Whoa! There we go. There's 257 00:16:13,885 --> 00:16:16,497 somethin'. I think I broke it, maybe. Oh! 258 00:16:16,540 --> 00:16:20,022 - There it goes. Right back on. He didn't even see me. - Look, just pull over. 259 00:16:20,066 --> 00:16:22,198 - I can walk faster than this. 260 00:16:22,242 --> 00:16:25,245 - All right, fine. Walk. - That's two dollars. Here ya go. 261 00:16:25,288 --> 00:16:27,508 No, wait a minute. Tha... my kid must've 262 00:16:27,551 --> 00:16:30,380 -pushed the button! Wait! - Too bad! Don't bring him to work! 263 00:16:30,424 --> 00:16:35,429 - Aw, man. Did you push the button? 264 00:16:35,472 --> 00:16:41,043 - Yeah. I think I did. - Aw, oh, man. -Want some cookie? 265 00:16:41,087 --> 00:16:43,089 It's a little moist, but take a bite. 266 00:16:48,224 --> 00:16:50,052 Did you bring the shoe box? 267 00:16:50,096 --> 00:16:51,488 If you don't stop 268 00:16:51,532 --> 00:16:53,336 fighting... -what shoe box? You saw me clean the 269 00:16:53,360 --> 00:16:55,200 closet. - Don't play dumb with me. Barry. Bambi. 270 00:16:58,887 --> 00:17:03,761 All right, okay, all 271 00:17:03,805 --> 00:17:06,503 right. Come on. Hey, hey, hey! All right, all right! 272 00:17:06,547 --> 00:17:12,466 Now, let's discuss this bad business loan. 273 00:17:12,509 --> 00:17:14,598 Basically, all that happened was 274 00:17:14,642 --> 00:17:16,707 that their uncle, Ernie, convinced them that it would be 275 00:17:16,731 --> 00:17:21,997 a really great idea... To call their restaurant "eat me raw." 276 00:17:22,041 --> 00:17:26,523 It was a great idea. It was gonna have Sushi, steak tartare... 277 00:17:26,567 --> 00:17:31,050 - And raw vegetables. - You know, "cruddities." -It had a certain 278 00:17:31,093 --> 00:17:33,661 quixotic quality. - Excuse me. People thought it was 279 00:17:33,704 --> 00:17:37,099 an x-rated movie house. Yes, they thought that, but they still wanted 280 00:17:37,143 --> 00:17:38,946 to eat there. - No, they didn't. -It was a delightful 281 00:17:38,970 --> 00:17:42,017 -place. - Everybody was offended. -Are you okay? 282 00:17:42,061 --> 00:17:46,413 - I think I'm going into labor. - Oh, my gosh. 283 00:17:46,456 --> 00:17:50,982 That's it. It's time to blow this pop stand. 284 00:17:51,026 --> 00:17:54,377 Geez, I'm all cramped, and this thing... 285 00:17:54,421 --> 00:17:56,945 - do you want to reschedule? No, no. 286 00:17:56,988 --> 00:17:59,426 You know, these things take hours, believe me. 287 00:17:59,469 --> 00:18:04,039 All right. Let's discuss this $1,200 loss. 288 00:18:04,083 --> 00:18:06,172 - I believe that was the salmon. - Salmon? 289 00:18:06,215 --> 00:18:09,610 Well, the whole idea of Sushi is that it's fresh. 290 00:18:09,653 --> 00:18:11,916 I ate at a five-star restaurant last week, 291 00:18:11,960 --> 00:18:13,503 -let me get just a sentence out. - And they gave me frozen 292 00:18:13,527 --> 00:18:15,157 - Sushi... it was still cold. - I don't think so. 293 00:18:15,181 --> 00:18:18,488 - I believe so. - You're so naive when it comes to frozen 294 00:18:18,532 --> 00:18:21,839 - Sushi. - I'm not naive! 295 00:18:21,883 --> 00:18:25,060 - This'll teach me to accessorize. - Could we just establish 296 00:18:25,104 --> 00:18:26,931 did uncle Ernie have any experience 297 00:18:26,975 --> 00:18:29,934 -in the restaurant business? - No. -No. 298 00:18:29,978 --> 00:18:35,070 Ernie was more of a... An idea man. 299 00:18:35,114 --> 00:18:37,594 - That's giving him a lot of credit. - Do you have the books 300 00:18:37,638 --> 00:18:40,989 for the restaurant? - Books? -What do you mean? 301 00:18:41,032 --> 00:18:44,210 Pieces of paper with numbers! Debits and credits here! 302 00:18:44,253 --> 00:18:46,492 - No, we don't have any of that stuff! - Would you not yell at him? 303 00:18:46,516 --> 00:18:48,649 Uncle Ernie was an idiot! 304 00:18:48,692 --> 00:18:50,955 It was a stupid idea, and they lost their shirts, 305 00:18:50,999 --> 00:18:52,914 so just allow the fucking deduction! 306 00:18:57,745 --> 00:19:02,315 I heard life is short, but this is ridiculous. 307 00:19:02,358 --> 00:19:05,970 Don't be alarmed. Now, your baby is in distress. 308 00:19:06,014 --> 00:19:09,365 - What? What's wrong? - We're going to do a cesarean. 309 00:19:09,409 --> 00:19:11,541 Rona, where is she? Oh, hi. 310 00:19:11,585 --> 00:19:14,327 She's right through there. Hi! Hey, Mikey! 311 00:19:14,370 --> 00:19:19,158 - You're gonna be a big brother, doll! - And you know what, rona? 312 00:19:19,201 --> 00:19:22,813 I'm just the right kid for the job. 313 00:19:22,857 --> 00:19:25,338 - Did my husband get here yet? - We called him. He's coming. 314 00:19:25,381 --> 00:19:28,689 - Okay. - Clamp. 315 00:19:28,732 --> 00:19:31,039 - Honey. - Oh, James, the baby's in 316 00:19:31,082 --> 00:19:33,650 - trouble. - No, she's okay she's comin' right out. 317 00:19:33,694 --> 00:19:37,915 - Well, at least I've achieved most of my goals. - Sponge. 318 00:19:37,959 --> 00:19:41,658 - Get that. Clamp. - Honey, everything's good. Yeah. 319 00:19:41,702 --> 00:19:43,921 Right there. Scissors. Okay. 320 00:19:43,965 --> 00:19:45,967 Oh, wow. Look at that. 321 00:19:46,010 --> 00:19:49,405 - Interesting. - Almost there. 322 00:19:49,449 --> 00:19:52,278 - Just a bit longer. Bladder retractor. - Educational... kind of. 323 00:19:52,321 --> 00:19:57,196 - Hold this bladder. Right there. Let's get this bladder. 324 00:19:57,239 --> 00:19:59,850 - I mean, it's... - Okay. 325 00:20:00,634 --> 00:20:01,896 Hmm. 326 00:20:01,939 --> 00:20:04,203 I guess this is... the end. 327 00:20:07,206 --> 00:20:11,862 - Here she comes. - No, my neck! My neck! 328 00:20:11,906 --> 00:20:15,779 Hey, you with the scissors! Cut me some slack here! 329 00:20:15,823 --> 00:20:18,782 - There ya go. 330 00:20:18,826 --> 00:20:21,785 Aw, geez, for cryin' out loud! 331 00:20:25,963 --> 00:20:28,444 Is she really okay? 332 00:20:28,488 --> 00:20:29,706 She's fine. 333 00:20:34,363 --> 00:20:36,496 How 'bout him? 334 00:20:36,539 --> 00:20:39,977 - He'll be all right. - There you go. 335 00:20:40,021 --> 00:20:44,852 Oh, my po', sweet baby. Yeah. I'm gonna take 336 00:20:44,895 --> 00:20:48,725 -extra-special care of you. - Hey, you look a lot 337 00:20:48,769 --> 00:20:53,817 - better from the outside. - I'll take her now. 338 00:20:53,861 --> 00:20:56,733 - Hey, where am I going? - Where are they taking her? 339 00:20:56,777 --> 00:20:58,577 - To put her in observation. - What happened to 340 00:20:58,605 --> 00:21:02,261 -my quality time? Bye, honey. - Bye, honey. Bye-bye. 341 00:21:04,785 --> 00:21:06,265 I don't want to go any place. 342 00:21:13,576 --> 00:21:18,668 Bye-bye, honey. Bye-bye, honey. Bye-bye. Bye-bye, honey. 343 00:21:20,366 --> 00:21:22,846 First a lousy birth, and now this. 344 00:21:22,890 --> 00:21:24,239 Geez, life sucks. 345 00:21:27,547 --> 00:21:30,550 Oh, yes, yes. You're next. Oh, I hope so. 346 00:21:32,726 --> 00:21:35,729 Bye-bye. Bye, daddy. Bye, doll. 347 00:21:35,772 --> 00:21:38,427 Congratulations! Hey, rona. Thanks. 348 00:21:38,471 --> 00:21:41,648 - Hey, pop! All right! - Hi, honey. How's your head? 349 00:21:41,691 --> 00:21:45,391 Mmm. Mikey, this is your sister, Julie. 350 00:21:45,434 --> 00:21:49,351 Hiya, Julie. Welcome to the outside. I'm your big brother, Mikey. 351 00:21:49,395 --> 00:21:51,024 I'm gonna be in charge of your life for the next 352 00:21:51,048 --> 00:21:53,877 two or three years... smackin' you around, getting you in shape, 353 00:21:53,921 --> 00:21:57,228 teachin' you things. - Anything you need, don't be afraid to ask. 354 00:21:57,272 --> 00:22:01,450 - Who's this asshole? - No, no, say no more. Of course you're tired 355 00:22:01,494 --> 00:22:04,255 after all that traveling, especially that long trip down the birth canal. 356 00:22:04,279 --> 00:22:06,890 - Stop, you're killin' me. - I got you a little 357 00:22:06,934 --> 00:22:09,023 somethin' for comin' into the world, 358 00:22:09,066 --> 00:22:13,201 and here it is. Have a cow. - Get away! 359 00:22:13,244 --> 00:22:14,644 - All right, fine. Don't have a cow. 360 00:22:32,046 --> 00:22:33,589 Eddie, what do you say we go get a apple juice? 361 00:22:33,613 --> 00:22:36,224 No, I'm into my trainin'. 362 00:22:36,267 --> 00:22:38,792 - What kind of training? - You know... wearin' 363 00:22:38,835 --> 00:22:42,491 -the training pants, man. - Aw, man, don't tell me you're goin' along with 364 00:22:42,535 --> 00:22:45,102 -this potty business too. - Yo, we have to, Mike, 'cause 365 00:22:45,146 --> 00:22:49,324 -the toilet man says so. - Who? -Mr. Toilet man. He likes 366 00:22:49,368 --> 00:22:51,108 to eat your doo-doo and your pee-pee, 367 00:22:51,152 --> 00:22:53,937 so I say, give it to him. - Eat your doo-doo and your pee-pee? 368 00:22:53,981 --> 00:22:57,637 Who told you that? My mother. Why? You callin' her a liar? 369 00:22:57,680 --> 00:23:01,423 - No, I'm not calling her... -she told me that diapers are for 370 00:23:01,467 --> 00:23:04,513 babies. But eat your doo-doo and your pee-pee? 371 00:23:04,557 --> 00:23:07,429 Eddie, the thought is too hideous to comprehend. 372 00:23:07,473 --> 00:23:09,257 - Oh, yeah? - I'll tell ya what. Let's take 373 00:23:09,300 --> 00:23:12,869 - my little sister for a walk. - All right. 374 00:23:12,913 --> 00:23:14,915 Okay, quick, while the moms aren't looking. 375 00:23:14,958 --> 00:23:16,893 Come on, let's take her to the zoo and leave her there. 376 00:23:16,917 --> 00:23:20,921 - Good idea. - He would have a friend. -I don't think she's 377 00:23:20,964 --> 00:23:23,010 gonna like the lions, Eddie. - And they're both 378 00:23:23,053 --> 00:23:27,318 schmucks. Mommy! Mommy! 379 00:23:27,362 --> 00:23:30,800 - Wait, wait, wait! - Uh-oh, busted. -Oh, honey, you okay? 380 00:23:30,844 --> 00:23:33,847 - Yeah, she's fine. - Don't ever take your 381 00:23:33,890 --> 00:23:35,544 sister away like that. You made mommy's 382 00:23:35,588 --> 00:23:38,895 -heart jump into her throat. - Mom, do you have to be 383 00:23:38,939 --> 00:23:41,507 so graphic? I was just takin' her for a walk. I thought 384 00:23:41,550 --> 00:23:45,119 she'd have a good time. I'm sorry. 385 00:23:45,162 --> 00:23:49,993 - Are you okay, sweetheart? - Here, let me give you a present. 386 00:23:50,037 --> 00:23:55,172 - Here. What's this? - Oh, my god. 387 00:23:55,216 --> 00:23:57,305 - Yuck! What is it? - Well, it's hospital garbage. 388 00:23:57,348 --> 00:24:00,874 - They make crack pipes out of these. - Oooh. 389 00:24:00,917 --> 00:24:03,833 - Oh. Let me see your hands. - Oh, my hands are okay, ma. 390 00:24:03,877 --> 00:24:05,594 Oh, no, don't... oh, please, don't... no, don't... no, please. 391 00:24:05,618 --> 00:24:08,925 - They're okay. They're clean. - Give mommy your hands. 392 00:24:08,969 --> 00:24:11,885 That is it. I have had it with this park. 393 00:24:11,928 --> 00:24:13,888 Sorry, honey. She didn't mean to throw that on you. 394 00:24:22,896 --> 00:24:25,507 - Mikey, time to go to bed. - What are you doin'? 395 00:24:25,551 --> 00:24:27,204 I told him he could watch a video. 396 00:24:27,248 --> 00:24:30,033 - He needs to go to bed. - But I made a promise he could 397 00:24:30,077 --> 00:24:32,732 finish watching the video. - He can finish it 398 00:24:32,775 --> 00:24:35,386 -tomorrow. He's tired. - Don't undermine me. 399 00:24:35,430 --> 00:24:39,521 - You don't undermine me. - Let's take it outside. Okay. 400 00:24:39,565 --> 00:24:42,524 ♪ Ah-Dee-ah-Dee-ah-Dee ah-Dee-ah-Dee-ah-Dee aye 401 00:24:42,568 --> 00:24:45,222 ♪ ah-Dee-ah-Dee-ah-Dee ah-Dee-ah-Dee-ah-Dee aye 402 00:24:45,266 --> 00:24:47,106 ♪ ee-Dee-ee-Dee-ee-Dee ee-Dee-ee-Dee-ee-Dee eee 403 00:24:51,620 --> 00:24:54,294 ♪ ee-Dee-ee-Dee-ee-Dee just because she's a baby I have to go to bed early. ♪ 404 00:24:54,318 --> 00:24:57,757 - What are you lookin' at? - If I say Mikey can do 405 00:24:57,800 --> 00:24:59,560 something and you come along and say he can't, 406 00:24:59,585 --> 00:25:01,563 then you're cutting my nuts off right in front of him... 407 00:25:01,587 --> 00:25:03,565 -how can I be a good dad? - So because you're the man, 408 00:25:03,589 --> 00:25:05,654 and you have the nuts, you get to make all the decisions? 409 00:25:05,678 --> 00:25:07,636 I don't get to make all the decisions 410 00:25:07,680 --> 00:25:12,685 because I'm the man. Look, if I promise him something, okay, don't 411 00:25:12,728 --> 00:25:14,600 make me look like an asshole. 412 00:25:14,643 --> 00:25:16,732 Oh, you're doin' a good job of that yourself. 413 00:25:16,776 --> 00:25:19,953 - Keep it down out there. - Please? -I am his mother. 414 00:25:19,996 --> 00:25:22,277 I see my tired baby sitting there, and I know that he's got 415 00:25:22,303 --> 00:25:25,045 to get up early the next morning. 416 00:25:25,088 --> 00:25:27,743 - For what? - Because I'm taking him to baby gym. 417 00:25:27,787 --> 00:25:30,964 - Oh, no. Not baby gym. - He needs to learn to socialize with other kids. 418 00:25:31,007 --> 00:25:32,661 Well, take him to the park. 419 00:25:32,705 --> 00:25:36,578 I'm not taking him to the park anymore. Today he picked up a 420 00:25:36,622 --> 00:25:39,102 -crack pipe. - Well, throw it out! -Do you have any idea 421 00:25:39,146 --> 00:25:41,801 - how many diseases he could get? - God, you're so scared! 422 00:25:41,844 --> 00:25:43,953 You're gonna bring him up to be a real crybaby. I can see it. 423 00:25:43,977 --> 00:25:46,893 I am going to baby gym, and I don't see 424 00:25:46,936 --> 00:25:49,678 - why you care anyway. - What's that supposed to mean? 425 00:25:49,722 --> 00:25:51,874 - What do you mean, "what does it mean?" - I know what it means. 426 00:25:51,898 --> 00:25:54,117 It means that it's your money, so I'm not supposed to 427 00:25:54,161 --> 00:25:56,380 -care. - I did not say that. -That's what you're 428 00:25:56,424 --> 00:25:59,601 thinkin', that you earn more money, so you can make the 429 00:25:59,645 --> 00:26:01,605 -decisions, and I'm outta here. - I do not make the 430 00:26:01,647 --> 00:26:04,388 decisions, and I have never, ever, brought up money with you! 431 00:26:04,432 --> 00:26:06,477 Why does everything have to be your way? 432 00:26:06,521 --> 00:26:08,392 It doesn't! Oh, you! Shut up, you! 433 00:26:08,436 --> 00:26:10,873 Shut up! 434 00:26:10,917 --> 00:26:13,572 Let's take stock here. 435 00:26:13,615 --> 00:26:17,010 My brother is 27 pounds of stupid. 436 00:26:17,053 --> 00:26:19,534 Now, look at that! - My parents are okay separately, 437 00:26:19,578 --> 00:26:21,643 -but as a couple they stink. - Well, why don't you just 438 00:26:21,667 --> 00:26:25,061 put me in a fuckin' dress? 439 00:26:25,105 --> 00:26:28,412 I guess you're my only friend, herbie. 440 00:26:28,456 --> 00:26:30,980 Intellectually, I know it takes at least three dates 441 00:26:31,024 --> 00:26:34,157 to know somebody, but, emotionally, I'll just look 442 00:26:34,201 --> 00:26:37,639 at the way he'll eat something disgusting, like chili dogs. 443 00:26:37,683 --> 00:26:39,728 And then this voice inside me 444 00:26:39,772 --> 00:26:41,663 says, "you can't spend the next 60 or 70 years with this 445 00:26:41,687 --> 00:26:44,211 -guy." -boy, you're planning on living a long time. 446 00:26:44,254 --> 00:26:47,103 Mollie, you know what I mean. Like, you and James have been together forever. 447 00:26:47,127 --> 00:26:50,260 - Yeah, a year and a half. - For a non-obsessive 448 00:26:50,304 --> 00:26:53,046 - relationship, that's pretty good. - You know what I hate? 449 00:26:53,089 --> 00:26:55,701 What? I hate the way James is always telling 450 00:26:55,744 --> 00:26:58,051 me how to take care of Mikey. 451 00:26:58,094 --> 00:27:01,663 You know, like I carried the kid for nine months. Oh. 452 00:27:01,707 --> 00:27:03,883 I'm the one who went through labor and all that pain. 453 00:27:03,926 --> 00:27:05,687 I think I know what I'm doing. I should be lord and 454 00:27:05,711 --> 00:27:07,234 - emperor of that child. - Yeah. 455 00:27:07,277 --> 00:27:11,107 I think maybe he just gets frustrated, you know, 456 00:27:11,151 --> 00:27:14,328 because he doesn't have a job that he loves, like we 457 00:27:14,371 --> 00:27:17,940 do. We're really lucky. I don't know what to do. 458 00:27:17,984 --> 00:27:20,726 - I don't know what to tell you to do. - You know what you have to 459 00:27:20,769 --> 00:27:24,643 do? You have to take control of the situation. 460 00:27:24,686 --> 00:27:26,949 You can't sit around waiting for this schmendrick you 461 00:27:26,993 --> 00:27:29,691 married to get his act together. He is not a schmendrick. 462 00:27:29,735 --> 00:27:32,302 He is a good father, and, for your information, 463 00:27:32,346 --> 00:27:35,436 he works real hard. Well, that's the trouble. He works his ass off 464 00:27:35,479 --> 00:27:39,745 for nothing. Now, daddy has an account with corporate pilots. 465 00:27:39,788 --> 00:27:43,705 They earn between $30,000 and $50,000 a year. 466 00:27:43,749 --> 00:27:46,229 I wish James could get a job like that. 467 00:27:46,273 --> 00:27:49,755 I'm way ahead of you. We already asked. All James has to do 468 00:27:49,798 --> 00:27:53,193 is call Freddie, tell him how many hours, what kinds of planes, 469 00:27:53,236 --> 00:27:55,761 things like that. No. Oh, ma! You know if James had a 470 00:27:55,804 --> 00:27:57,434 job that he really loved and he could make money... 471 00:27:57,458 --> 00:28:01,114 Oh, that would be great for us. And you have daddy to 472 00:28:01,157 --> 00:28:02,811 thank. 473 00:28:02,855 --> 00:28:06,728 - Six. Six. - Six dollar. -Yeah. 474 00:28:06,772 --> 00:28:09,731 Grandpa, a card's a card. Do you have to name 'em all? 475 00:28:12,212 --> 00:28:14,736 What kind of equipment do they fly? 476 00:28:14,780 --> 00:28:18,131 - I don't know. You'll find out. - Well, at least with my job, 477 00:28:18,174 --> 00:28:21,743 - I can fly different types of airplanes. - Jimmy, what does it 478 00:28:21,787 --> 00:28:24,572 -matter? A jet's a jet. - Well, you don't love 479 00:28:24,615 --> 00:28:28,184 flying, so it wouldn't matter to you. 480 00:28:28,228 --> 00:28:30,162 You know, I don't think this is about what kind of 481 00:28:30,186 --> 00:28:31,927 airplanes they have to fly. What is it? 482 00:28:31,971 --> 00:28:33,949 You want to know what it is? I'll tell you what it is. 483 00:28:33,973 --> 00:28:36,584 - It's your mother, okay? - My mother? -You don't mind them 484 00:28:36,627 --> 00:28:38,257 controlling your life, but I mind them controlling... 485 00:28:38,281 --> 00:28:40,327 -they do not control my life. - Oh, why are you and 486 00:28:40,370 --> 00:28:43,504 - your brother accountants? - Because we dearly love it. 487 00:28:43,547 --> 00:28:44,940 Oh, come on. "Dearly." 488 00:28:46,812 --> 00:28:51,033 - You-you dearly love being accountants? - I do, because it deals 489 00:28:51,077 --> 00:28:53,427 with my two favorite numbers and people. 490 00:28:53,470 --> 00:28:55,603 And you know another thing? They check our tax return 491 00:28:55,646 --> 00:28:57,648 every year to make me look stupid. 492 00:28:57,692 --> 00:29:01,391 - Oh, that isn't true. And you said it was okay. - Well, maybe it's not. 493 00:29:01,435 --> 00:29:03,829 Look, just don't take the job. I don't care one way or 494 00:29:03,872 --> 00:29:05,569 -another. - All right. Fine. I won't. 495 00:29:29,115 --> 00:29:30,899 Oh, honey. 496 00:29:30,943 --> 00:29:34,337 I'm sorry. Oh, sweetheart. 497 00:29:36,513 --> 00:29:40,779 - I was just trying to help. - I know you were helping me. 498 00:29:40,822 --> 00:29:43,042 I thought that if you did 499 00:29:43,085 --> 00:29:45,871 something that you really loved that you would be happy. 500 00:29:45,914 --> 00:29:47,457 I know, I'm stupid. I shouldn't have said anything. 501 00:29:47,481 --> 00:29:51,267 My mom and dad were just trying to help, so they talked 502 00:29:51,311 --> 00:29:53,530 to their friends, and now you hate them. 503 00:29:53,574 --> 00:29:57,186 - I don't hate them. - And I've always been really nice to your mother. 504 00:29:57,230 --> 00:29:58,840 Oh, honey, look. I'll call Freddie 505 00:29:58,884 --> 00:30:02,191 tomorrow, okay? Don't call him 506 00:30:02,235 --> 00:30:05,455 just because I'm bawling. I'll find out what it's all about, and I won't 507 00:30:05,499 --> 00:30:09,546 promise you anything. Okay? It won't be because you're crying. 508 00:30:09,590 --> 00:30:11,350 - Okay. Okay. - Okay. All right. Gimme a kiss. 509 00:30:17,293 --> 00:30:21,471 Who the hell is that? 510 00:30:21,515 --> 00:30:25,736 Who is it? Damn it. Sounds like some kind of 511 00:30:25,780 --> 00:30:27,913 - nut. - Here, let me... 512 00:30:30,393 --> 00:30:34,833 - Do you know who I hate? - Stuart! How you doin'? 513 00:30:34,876 --> 00:30:36,636 You're back in town! This is my brother. This is 514 00:30:36,660 --> 00:30:38,793 James. I hate these damn orientals. 515 00:30:38,837 --> 00:30:41,752 They're buyin' up this whole damn country. Now, do you know why? 516 00:30:41,796 --> 00:30:44,494 - He's the accountant for mitsubishi. - Not anymore. The way I 517 00:30:44,538 --> 00:30:46,627 look at it is Americans have turned 518 00:30:46,670 --> 00:30:49,543 into fat, lazy slobs... Who'd rather sell off their toes 519 00:30:49,586 --> 00:30:51,738 than get off their butts and walk half a block. You think I could 520 00:30:51,762 --> 00:30:53,566 stay here for a little while until I get a new job? 521 00:30:53,590 --> 00:30:55,549 You can stay here as long as you want. 522 00:30:55,592 --> 00:30:58,857 I'll make up the couch! Yes! 523 00:30:59,509 --> 00:31:01,424 Mollie? Mollie! 524 00:31:05,951 --> 00:31:08,997 Oh, what a dilemma. Do I stay, or do I pee? 525 00:31:11,086 --> 00:31:14,437 What if Eddie said was true? Mr. Toilet man eating 526 00:31:14,481 --> 00:31:19,486 your pee-pee? Oh, well. I guess I really don't believe 527 00:31:19,529 --> 00:31:23,533 that. But then, on the other hand, 528 00:31:23,577 --> 00:31:27,146 what if there is a Mr. Toilet man? Well, I think I better 529 00:31:27,189 --> 00:31:33,152 just turn the light on, just to make sure. Ah, just as I thought. 530 00:31:33,195 --> 00:31:35,632 Just a regular old toilet, huh? 531 00:31:35,676 --> 00:31:39,027 Wait till I tell Eddie about this. Eddie and his bonehead 532 00:31:39,071 --> 00:31:42,117 - ideas. - Hey, you, you little pisher! 533 00:31:42,161 --> 00:31:44,356 - I'm talkin' to you! - Oh, no! What is that? -Hey, you're supposed 534 00:31:44,380 --> 00:31:47,166 -to give me some pee-pee! Where's that pee-pee? - We're talkin' about 535 00:31:47,209 --> 00:31:51,213 pee-pee. I need that pee-pee! - Oh, no! Mr. Toilet man! 536 00:31:51,257 --> 00:31:52,693 Listen, I've had it with you. 537 00:31:52,736 --> 00:31:55,391 You better give me that pee-pee. Give it to me, 538 00:31:55,435 --> 00:31:57,326 or the next time you sit on me, I'm gonna bite off your 539 00:31:57,350 --> 00:32:00,266 tushy! - Yes! Yes! 540 00:32:08,361 --> 00:32:10,363 Oh, it's okay, honey. 541 00:32:10,493 --> 00:32:11,712 Mommy's here. 542 00:32:11,755 --> 00:32:15,281 Mommy. Yeah. Mommy, daddy. Potty. 543 00:32:15,324 --> 00:32:17,041 Mommy's here. Ohh, sweetheart. It's just a dream. 544 00:32:17,065 --> 00:32:19,025 - It's just a dream. - Toilet man. It was... scary. 545 00:32:19,067 --> 00:32:20,112 Okay? 546 00:32:20,155 --> 00:32:21,983 The problem with this 547 00:32:22,027 --> 00:32:23,724 - country? - Get a load of those eyebrows. 548 00:32:23,767 --> 00:32:25,354 - It's a country of softs. - What's the deal with 549 00:32:25,378 --> 00:32:29,295 - eyebrows? - Eyes, I understand. 550 00:32:29,338 --> 00:32:32,863 - Mouths, I understand. But eyebrows? - Why waste money on new 551 00:32:32,907 --> 00:32:35,866 - bombs... - I wonder if I'll have a set like his. 552 00:32:35,910 --> 00:32:39,696 - Am I right? - Daddy doesn't have a set like his. 553 00:32:39,740 --> 00:32:41,829 Good luck on your job interview, studebaker. 554 00:32:41,872 --> 00:32:43,633 It's a confusing question. But I guess I'll learn 555 00:32:43,657 --> 00:32:45,267 - someday. - Mollie, 556 00:32:45,311 --> 00:32:48,227 - I want him out of the house. - Oh, we're going out! 557 00:32:48,270 --> 00:32:51,665 We're getting ready to go out! I'm so excited! 558 00:32:51,708 --> 00:32:54,146 - I got your nose! - Oh, daddy, don't take my nose. 559 00:32:54,189 --> 00:32:57,453 - I got your nose! - Oh, hi, mommy. 560 00:32:57,497 --> 00:32:59,934 Mommy, let's take the play-doh with us. There's 561 00:32:59,978 --> 00:33:02,284 something I saw I'd like to build with you, 562 00:33:02,328 --> 00:33:07,246 and if you'd just get it... mom? Mommy? 563 00:33:08,638 --> 00:33:11,293 Daddy? 564 00:33:11,337 --> 00:33:15,819 Where'd everybody go? What have I done 565 00:33:15,863 --> 00:33:21,042 -to deserve this? - Hey, Julie, don't worry. I'll take care of you. 566 00:33:21,086 --> 00:33:23,697 You're too little! 567 00:33:23,740 --> 00:33:27,353 You should have seen my brother when he was a kid. Oh! He was so cute. 568 00:33:27,396 --> 00:33:29,964 And sweet? I mean... but no matter what he did, 569 00:33:30,008 --> 00:33:33,620 he would get in trouble. Everyone was always screaming at him. 570 00:33:33,663 --> 00:33:37,624 - Yeah. Daddy was like... -he looks just like Leon. 571 00:33:37,667 --> 00:33:40,844 - Everybody looks like Leon. - Do you think so? 572 00:33:40,888 --> 00:33:42,759 You know, I think if my brother was in a loving 573 00:33:42,803 --> 00:33:44,563 environment like my house... That he would really 574 00:33:44,587 --> 00:33:46,024 straighten out. 575 00:33:53,553 --> 00:33:56,512 All right, and shutting down. 576 00:33:56,556 --> 00:34:01,430 Okay. Thanks a lot, bill. Okay, here we are. 577 00:34:07,175 --> 00:34:10,613 - Excuse me. Here we go. - Where's the briefcase? 578 00:34:10,657 --> 00:34:12,374 - Did you leave it on the plane? - No, I didn't. 579 00:34:12,398 --> 00:34:14,487 One minute, one minute. 580 00:34:14,530 --> 00:34:16,880 - Ah, thanks. - I'll lock up, James. -You bet. 581 00:34:16,924 --> 00:34:21,363 - All right, here we are. - Thank you. -Good night. 582 00:34:22,277 --> 00:34:26,629 Dickface. Geez. 583 00:34:26,673 --> 00:34:30,372 - Hi, Elvis. How'd it go? - Hey, Priscilla. 584 00:34:30,416 --> 00:34:32,505 Which part? Where they blamed me for the turbulence 585 00:34:32,548 --> 00:34:33,941 spilling red wine on their clothes, 586 00:34:33,984 --> 00:34:36,117 or the part where they bawled me out for weak coffee? 587 00:34:36,161 --> 00:34:38,163 Oh, honey, you probably just got a couple of creeps. 588 00:34:38,206 --> 00:34:40,315 Yeah, right. But didn't it feel great up there in that jet, not 589 00:34:40,339 --> 00:34:42,384 having to worry about driving the cab? 590 00:34:42,428 --> 00:34:45,126 - I mean, didn't that make it all worthwhile? - Yeah, I love flyin' a 591 00:34:45,170 --> 00:34:47,650 lear jet. It's just this beeper lifestyle. 592 00:34:47,694 --> 00:34:51,219 I mean, you're on call anytime, honey. That means we can't 593 00:34:51,263 --> 00:34:54,266 plan vacations. What about the kids? I mean, come on. 594 00:34:54,309 --> 00:34:57,138 - Am I a waiter or a pilot? - Other than that, 595 00:34:57,182 --> 00:35:01,708 how'd you like it? 596 00:35:01,751 --> 00:35:05,233 - Did you like it? I knew you'd like it. - Yeah, it was all right. 597 00:35:05,277 --> 00:35:09,281 All right. I think I'm gonna try it. Yeah, yeah. It's solid. 598 00:35:09,324 --> 00:35:13,241 Oh, I got to be honest with myself here. I'm a failure as a big 599 00:35:13,285 --> 00:35:16,810 -brother. I mean, look at her. - And I'm goin'. I'm goin'. 600 00:35:16,853 --> 00:35:20,422 - I'm... kiddin' myself. - I teach her how to crawl, and she'd bouncin' around 601 00:35:20,466 --> 00:35:26,254 -like a cocker spaniel. - Here I go. Oh! Uh-oh. 602 00:35:26,298 --> 00:35:28,387 - Yeah. I'm goin'. I'm going. - Wait a minute now. 603 00:35:28,430 --> 00:35:33,435 She's up. She's mobile. She's movin'. 604 00:35:33,479 --> 00:35:37,874 She's headin' right for my toys. Hmm. Well, maybe I better 605 00:35:37,918 --> 00:35:39,876 show her about toys right away... Before she does 606 00:35:39,920 --> 00:35:44,011 something drastic to one of my toys. All right, let me show 607 00:35:44,054 --> 00:35:46,318 you something. Come here. These are all toys, right? 608 00:35:46,361 --> 00:35:48,276 - Yeah. - Some of them are mine, 609 00:35:48,320 --> 00:35:50,211 some of them are yours. The way you tell the difference 610 00:35:50,235 --> 00:35:52,411 -is I have all the great toys, -let me see it. 611 00:35:52,454 --> 00:35:55,196 Can't I see that? And you have all these stupid little... 612 00:35:55,240 --> 00:35:56,913 - Don't-hurt-yourself baby toys. - Geez. But I like it. 613 00:35:56,937 --> 00:35:59,461 Well, of course you like it. It's a big-boy toy. 614 00:35:59,505 --> 00:36:01,768 - Well, can't I just see it for a little while? 615 00:36:01,811 --> 00:36:03,920 - You can't have it. You think you can jump right into a toy like 616 00:36:03,944 --> 00:36:05,815 this? Grow up, kid. 617 00:36:05,859 --> 00:36:10,124 - Geez, he's always so mean to me. - Look, here's a toy you 618 00:36:10,168 --> 00:36:13,519 - can play with... a nerf ball. - I don't like balls! 619 00:36:13,562 --> 00:36:15,782 Oh, don't cry again. 620 00:36:21,179 --> 00:36:26,401 - Freeze! - What the... what are you doing? 621 00:36:26,445 --> 00:36:28,577 - I'm sorry, man. - You have a gun in my house? 622 00:36:28,621 --> 00:36:31,058 - There are kids here! - It's only nine millimeter. 623 00:36:31,101 --> 00:36:32,731 - It's not loaded. - Oh, man. That's what is exactly 624 00:36:32,755 --> 00:36:34,801 the stupid thing people say... When they accidentally 625 00:36:34,844 --> 00:36:36,890 kill someone... "oh, I didn't think 626 00:36:36,933 --> 00:36:38,911 -it was loaded." - You know, you guys make me laugh. 627 00:36:38,935 --> 00:36:42,939 You're really funny. You know, you stock up your cabinets with 628 00:36:42,983 --> 00:36:46,160 bottled water and flashlights, but what do you think is 629 00:36:46,204 --> 00:36:49,250 gonna happen when the shit really hits the fan, huh? 630 00:36:49,294 --> 00:36:52,471 Like earthquakes or flash floods or mud 631 00:36:52,514 --> 00:36:54,560 slides, or just, like, a lot of chaos and 632 00:36:54,603 --> 00:36:56,518 horror, people dying in the streets, 633 00:36:56,562 --> 00:36:59,565 and you're sitting nice and pretty with your bottled water? 634 00:36:59,608 --> 00:37:04,178 Now, the guy next door has got one of these. Who's gonna go thirsty... 635 00:37:04,222 --> 00:37:06,224 Him or you? I mean, 636 00:37:09,618 --> 00:37:12,578 - think about it. - You're nuts. 637 00:37:17,496 --> 00:37:20,803 Mollie, I don't want that maniac around the 638 00:37:20,847 --> 00:37:23,153 -kids. - He's their uncle. -Oh, he's a maniac! 639 00:37:23,197 --> 00:37:25,765 - He sleeps with a gun. - Oh, he does not. -He does too. He tried 640 00:37:25,808 --> 00:37:28,898 - to shoot me when I came in. - Stewball? 641 00:37:28,942 --> 00:37:31,292 - Moll? - Do you have a gun in there? 642 00:37:31,336 --> 00:37:33,903 - It's not loaded. - It's not loaded. 643 00:37:36,863 --> 00:37:38,493 - I need some covers. - You know, why is it if I drink 644 00:37:38,517 --> 00:37:40,867 out of a styrofoam cup... You give me a two-hour lecture, 645 00:37:40,910 --> 00:37:43,173 b-but Travis bickel moves in with us... 646 00:37:43,217 --> 00:37:45,611 With a semiautomatic weapon, and it's okay? 647 00:37:45,654 --> 00:37:47,874 Chill out. This is new York. Women carry guns 648 00:37:47,917 --> 00:37:50,137 in their purses. Most people have them in their 649 00:37:50,180 --> 00:37:53,836 nightstands. Jimmy, if a little unloaded gun 650 00:37:53,880 --> 00:37:56,883 - makes him feel better... - Makes him feel better? 651 00:37:56,926 --> 00:37:59,668 Maybe climbing a tower... And shooting student nurses 652 00:37:59,712 --> 00:38:01,714 would make him feel better. 653 00:38:01,757 --> 00:38:02,976 Geez! 654 00:38:34,094 --> 00:38:36,357 Okay, now, this might sound 655 00:38:36,401 --> 00:38:38,707 like a stupid question, do you have a flight today? 656 00:38:38,751 --> 00:38:40,361 But where is Julie's penis? 657 00:38:40,405 --> 00:38:41,928 I mean, is it in the tub, maybe? 658 00:38:41,971 --> 00:38:44,974 - Did she break it off? - No penis. 659 00:38:45,018 --> 00:38:47,107 Oh, it's okay. He wants to know 660 00:38:47,150 --> 00:38:50,763 - why Julie doesn't have a penis. - What? 661 00:38:50,806 --> 00:38:54,723 - You have to tell him about girls and boys. - Not at this age, honey. 662 00:38:54,767 --> 00:38:58,379 - No, I mean, just tell him why we're different. - No, you do it. I told him 663 00:38:58,423 --> 00:39:04,254 -about the potty bit. - All right. Take Julie. Go see daddy. Go see daddy. 664 00:39:04,298 --> 00:39:09,042 Mikey, Julie is a girl, and you are a boy, okay? 665 00:39:09,085 --> 00:39:13,089 Little boys have penises, but girls don't have them because they don't need 666 00:39:13,133 --> 00:39:16,789 them. It's like mommy... mommy is a girl, 667 00:39:16,832 --> 00:39:19,879 - so I don't have a penis. - But she's got some set of balls. 668 00:39:21,837 --> 00:39:28,235 - But daddy is a big... -penis! - That's right! 669 00:39:28,278 --> 00:39:34,894 - Here we go. What's that? - Hmm. A penis. 670 00:39:37,462 --> 00:39:41,074 - This one? - No penis. -That's good! 671 00:39:41,117 --> 00:39:48,473 - He understands. What's this? Hmm. Tough call. 672 00:39:48,516 --> 00:39:52,738 Oh, boy, was that stupid, or what? It was very stupid. 673 00:39:52,781 --> 00:39:57,090 I think I'm gonna have a heart attack. It's very... you see, at 674 00:39:57,133 --> 00:39:59,919 this age, people have a tendency 675 00:39:59,962 --> 00:40:02,835 to have a heart attack. You can do that. You just go up and down. 676 00:40:02,878 --> 00:40:05,315 But eventually, you have a heart attack, and you... 677 00:40:05,359 --> 00:40:07,448 Jump up and down like that, and don't forget to 678 00:40:07,492 --> 00:40:09,842 breathe. Don't forget to breathe! A lot of times, people 679 00:40:09,885 --> 00:40:11,800 just drop dead here, and you say, 680 00:40:11,844 --> 00:40:14,803 "what happened?" "I forgot to breathe. I wasn't breathing." 681 00:40:14,847 --> 00:40:16,727 Jump! Jump up and down. You two, like that. Fine. 682 00:40:19,721 --> 00:40:22,724 You like this house, don't you? Yes, it's a very good house. 683 00:40:22,768 --> 00:40:24,813 Is it just me, or is this guy really weird? 684 00:40:24,857 --> 00:40:27,468 You just ripped my face off. 685 00:40:27,512 --> 00:40:29,688 She rips my face off, and you punch me. 686 00:40:29,731 --> 00:40:32,473 Oh, I've never had so much fun in my life! 687 00:40:32,517 --> 00:40:35,781 Yo, Eddie, check out the blonde on the monkey bars! You can see right up her dress 688 00:40:35,824 --> 00:40:39,001 yeah, man, that's Sheila. We played doctor together 689 00:40:39,045 --> 00:40:41,743 - played doc... where? - Right over there, man, 690 00:40:41,787 --> 00:40:44,703 - behind that beanbag thing. - You dog! 691 00:40:44,746 --> 00:40:46,835 Gotta make another house call. 692 00:40:46,879 --> 00:40:50,448 Hmm. Eddie gets all the girls. He's not wearin' a diaper. 693 00:40:50,491 --> 00:40:52,600 Hmm. Eddie gets all the girls. He's not wearin' a diaper. 694 00:40:52,624 --> 00:40:55,322 Maybe I ought to give this potty thing a try. 695 00:40:55,365 --> 00:40:58,151 ♪ When you have to pee you jump up and down 696 00:40:58,194 --> 00:41:01,371 ♪ but sometimes nothing has to come out 697 00:41:01,415 --> 00:41:05,071 ♪ so you try to jump up and down a little more ♪ 698 00:41:06,159 --> 00:41:08,901 And I don't have to pee. 699 00:41:09,728 --> 00:41:12,382 I don't have to pee. 700 00:41:12,426 --> 00:41:16,822 I do have to pee and I better go somewhere. 701 00:41:16,865 --> 00:41:19,999 Here I go. Okay. Now's the time. I just... 702 00:41:23,568 --> 00:41:25,352 That stuff really sneaks up on ya. 703 00:41:34,709 --> 00:41:38,539 Hey, I want a ball of kraft caramel pieces. 704 00:41:38,583 --> 00:41:41,586 Introducing wwf wrestling buddies, 705 00:41:41,629 --> 00:41:43,936 the rough and ready wrestlers from tonka! 706 00:41:43,979 --> 00:41:47,592 Wwf wrestling buddies by tonka? I want one of those! 707 00:41:47,635 --> 00:41:49,419 Here comes the new cobra hammerhead! 708 00:41:49,463 --> 00:41:51,552 The cobra hammerhead will sink those Joes! 709 00:41:51,596 --> 00:41:54,337 Wow! I need a cobra hammerhead! 710 00:41:54,381 --> 00:41:56,557 Hey, I want a cobra "camerahead." 711 00:41:56,601 --> 00:41:59,255 It's for boys. Geez. 712 00:41:59,299 --> 00:42:02,345 - Hey, Priscilla. - Hi, Elvis. 713 00:42:05,174 --> 00:42:08,830 - Mikey, guess what I got you, boy? - A cobra hammerhead? 714 00:42:08,874 --> 00:42:11,180 - An airplane! - Oh, man. 715 00:42:11,224 --> 00:42:13,661 That's a lear 24, just like your dad flies. 716 00:42:13,705 --> 00:42:15,750 You know, one day I'll take you out to the airport 717 00:42:15,794 --> 00:42:16,988 you can sit right up here with me. 718 00:42:17,012 --> 00:42:18,318 - You wanna do that? - No. 719 00:42:20,059 --> 00:42:22,278 Man, I have never been more insulted. 720 00:42:24,846 --> 00:42:26,694 I get up for this job interview this morning, right? 721 00:42:26,718 --> 00:42:28,328 Everything is goin' great. 722 00:42:28,371 --> 00:42:32,419 - It's for this liberal-type organization, right? - Which one? 723 00:42:32,462 --> 00:42:36,728 I don't know. The American foundation of crybabies or some shit. 724 00:42:36,771 --> 00:42:39,600 He tells me the salary, and I wanted to kick his ass. 725 00:42:39,644 --> 00:42:41,317 Who does he think he's talkin' to, this guy? 726 00:42:41,341 --> 00:42:43,473 Stu, honey, are you hungry? 727 00:42:43,517 --> 00:42:45,669 No, I'm gonna check out the faster pussycats in the village. 728 00:42:45,693 --> 00:42:47,695 Oh, that'll be fun for you. 729 00:42:47,739 --> 00:42:50,568 - You think I could borrow $20? - Sure. 730 00:42:50,611 --> 00:42:55,181 - Hey, Stuart, nice jacket. - Hey, do you mind? 731 00:42:55,224 --> 00:42:57,662 - I got a date. - I guess not. 732 00:42:57,705 --> 00:43:00,882 Okay. Here you are. And I want you to take this. This is some mad money. 733 00:43:00,926 --> 00:43:04,538 Just take it. I don't want to take the subway, so here. 734 00:43:04,582 --> 00:43:06,342 There's a lot of weirdos, there. You take a cab. 735 00:43:06,366 --> 00:43:09,195 - There's a lot of weirdos? - Yeah. Take a cab. Bye, honey. 736 00:43:11,197 --> 00:43:15,636 You know, I don't mind that every job interview he goes on he gets upset. 737 00:43:15,680 --> 00:43:18,944 It doesn't really bother me that he takes my clothes without asking. 738 00:43:18,987 --> 00:43:21,468 I can even put up with his fascist point of view. 739 00:43:21,511 --> 00:43:22,730 But you know what bothers me? 740 00:43:22,774 --> 00:43:25,254 You know what really ticks me off? 741 00:43:25,298 --> 00:43:28,954 Is this and this. He drinks everything but a drop 742 00:43:28,997 --> 00:43:31,434 and puts it back. He takes bites out of everything 743 00:43:31,478 --> 00:43:34,829 and then he puts it back. He reads our newspapers, our magazines, hides them 744 00:43:34,873 --> 00:43:36,396 before we get a chance to read them! 745 00:43:36,439 --> 00:43:39,094 - I'll have a talk with him. - No, no talk. 746 00:43:39,138 --> 00:43:40,898 - I want him out of here. - He doesn't have anyplace to go. 747 00:43:40,922 --> 00:43:43,446 - Send him to your mother's house. - No, they'd kill each other. 748 00:43:43,490 --> 00:43:45,666 Mollie, why do you put him ahead of me? 749 00:43:45,710 --> 00:43:49,757 - I don't! - You do! Just decide, him or me. 750 00:43:49,801 --> 00:43:53,456 That's not fair! You can't ask me to choose between you and my family. 751 00:43:53,500 --> 00:43:55,807 He's still your family at your mother's house. 752 00:43:55,850 --> 00:43:57,896 I'm not gonna kick him out, and you know what? 753 00:43:57,939 --> 00:44:00,550 - I really hate you for asking me to do this. - You hate me? 754 00:44:00,594 --> 00:44:02,727 Yes, I think that you are being mean and selfish. 755 00:44:02,770 --> 00:44:04,903 - I think you're inconsiderate and stubborn. 756 00:44:04,946 --> 00:44:06,731 - Oh, yeah? - Yeah. 757 00:44:06,774 --> 00:44:09,559 - I think you are a big, stupid slob. - You're just big and stupid. 758 00:44:09,603 --> 00:44:12,432 Okay, I may be big, but I am not stupid! 759 00:44:12,475 --> 00:44:15,740 - So, you just get out of here! - I pay half the rent here, baby! 760 00:44:15,783 --> 00:44:17,350 Well, I pay all the utilities! 761 00:44:17,393 --> 00:44:21,920 Fine! Elvis is leaving the building! 762 00:44:26,315 --> 00:44:28,883 Hey, I don't want him to go. 763 00:44:28,927 --> 00:44:32,365 - What happened? - Oh, yeah? Chase my daddy away, 764 00:44:32,408 --> 00:44:35,281 I'll show you a thing or two. Here. Here. Go ahead. 765 00:44:35,324 --> 00:44:37,675 Hey, that's mine! 766 00:44:37,718 --> 00:44:40,199 All the yellin' and screamin' all the time? 767 00:44:40,242 --> 00:44:42,027 Here's what I think of your friend here. 768 00:44:42,070 --> 00:44:44,594 Oh, no! 769 00:44:44,638 --> 00:44:47,554 How's that? Bye-bye, birdie. 770 00:44:47,597 --> 00:44:51,036 Think you're a bird, huh? Let's see if you can fly now! 771 00:44:51,079 --> 00:44:53,647 Oh, my friend! 772 00:44:53,691 --> 00:44:58,434 You hurt my friend! You creep! 773 00:45:06,486 --> 00:45:10,446 ♪ Are you lonesome tonight 774 00:45:11,447 --> 00:45:15,669 ♪ do you miss me tonight 775 00:45:15,713 --> 00:45:18,541 ♪ are you sorry 776 00:45:18,585 --> 00:45:22,197 ♪ we drifted apart 777 00:45:25,461 --> 00:45:29,117 ♪ does your memory stray 778 00:45:30,379 --> 00:45:33,861 ♪ to a brighter summer day 779 00:45:34,993 --> 00:45:37,691 ♪ when I kissed you 780 00:45:37,735 --> 00:45:41,521 ♪ and called you sweetheart 781 00:45:44,263 --> 00:45:48,354 ♪ do the chairs in your parlor 782 00:45:49,703 --> 00:45:54,055 ♪ seem empty and bare 783 00:45:54,099 --> 00:45:58,843 ♪ do you gaze at your doorstep 784 00:45:58,886 --> 00:46:02,281 ♪ and picture me there 785 00:46:03,630 --> 00:46:08,243 ♪ is your heart filled with pain 786 00:46:08,287 --> 00:46:13,248 ♪ shall I come back again 787 00:46:13,292 --> 00:46:19,689 ♪ tell me, dear are you lonesome tonight ♪ 788 00:46:23,650 --> 00:46:26,044 - Mollie? - Who is it? -It's me, rona. 789 00:46:28,698 --> 00:46:31,701 - Hi, hon. - Do you mind if I stay here for the night? 790 00:46:31,745 --> 00:46:34,922 I'm too scared to go back to my apartment. I was robbed. 791 00:46:34,966 --> 00:46:37,446 Well, of course you can stay. What happened? 792 00:46:37,490 --> 00:46:39,927 I went to put the key in the door, 793 00:46:39,971 --> 00:46:43,061 and I saw it was a little open. So I peeked my head in, 794 00:46:43,104 --> 00:46:44,845 and the whole place is wrecked. 795 00:46:44,889 --> 00:46:47,630 - Oh, god, what'd they get? - Everything. They got my telephone, 796 00:46:47,674 --> 00:46:52,461 my stereo, my camera. They got my grandfather's gold watch. That pocket watch. 797 00:46:52,505 --> 00:46:54,681 - Oh, hon. - They got all my costume jewelry, 798 00:46:54,724 --> 00:46:57,205 and some of that stuff was really expensive. 799 00:46:57,249 --> 00:47:00,295 But the worst thing is everything thrown around, 800 00:47:00,339 --> 00:47:02,167 just when I was getting organized. 801 00:47:02,210 --> 00:47:06,867 - Help! Freeze! - Stuart, put the gun down. 802 00:47:06,911 --> 00:47:12,830 - Rona, this is my brother, Stuart. - Hi. What a surprise. 803 00:47:12,873 --> 00:47:14,832 Mollie never said she had a brother. 804 00:47:14,875 --> 00:47:16,675 - Hey, I'm sorry for aiming this thing at you. 805 00:47:16,703 --> 00:47:20,533 That's okay. No one was killed. 806 00:47:20,576 --> 00:47:23,449 Come on, you can stay in my room tonight. 807 00:47:23,492 --> 00:47:26,713 Okay. Um... It was nice meeting you. 808 00:47:26,756 --> 00:47:30,412 - Mollie said some wonderful things about you. - Oh, yeah? 809 00:47:41,206 --> 00:47:43,164 Look, I'm not gonna tell you again. 810 00:47:43,208 --> 00:47:45,993 - You move! - No, you shove over. This is my side. 811 00:47:46,037 --> 00:47:47,821 Get over on your side. Oohh. What, are you 812 00:47:47,865 --> 00:47:49,518 oohh. 813 00:47:49,562 --> 00:47:51,956 What, are you afraid you're gonna get recognized? 814 00:47:51,999 --> 00:47:55,437 - Bitchin' wheels. - Yeah, except I got to ride beside her. 815 00:47:55,481 --> 00:47:58,353 - Here, buzz off. - Get your finger outta my eye! 816 00:47:58,397 --> 00:48:01,617 - You got a sister? - Huh-uh. -So much the better for you. 817 00:48:01,661 --> 00:48:03,489 Your mom tells 'em to be good, they don't. 818 00:48:03,532 --> 00:48:05,708 They just poke you in the eye. 819 00:48:05,752 --> 00:48:08,624 Worse, they... Try and stay with me when I'm talkin' to you. 820 00:48:08,668 --> 00:48:12,106 - Uh-huh. - What I'm sayin' is, your parents completely 821 00:48:12,150 --> 00:48:15,893 -forget about you. - No, dude. Don't say that. 822 00:48:15,936 --> 00:48:18,373 Yeah, well, the way it's goin'. See ya later. 823 00:48:18,417 --> 00:48:19,548 I got to bail, dude. 824 00:48:21,768 --> 00:48:24,118 Mommy is so funny. 825 00:48:24,162 --> 00:48:26,773 She's always doing something so inventive. 826 00:48:26,816 --> 00:48:30,037 She's the greatest. She's so clever. 827 00:48:30,081 --> 00:48:33,214 Imagine, using your hand and turning it into a duck. 828 00:48:36,304 --> 00:48:38,350 Sure, sure. Laugh now. 829 00:48:38,393 --> 00:48:40,178 Wait till they take out that big sharp thing 830 00:48:40,221 --> 00:48:43,703 and start sticking you with it. Huh? 831 00:48:43,746 --> 00:48:46,358 I hope they don't stick me with anything today. 832 00:48:46,401 --> 00:48:49,013 She'll probably be a little knocked out from the shot, 833 00:48:49,056 --> 00:48:51,363 so no driving or operating heavy machinery, huh? 834 00:48:51,406 --> 00:48:53,452 I'm only one and I know that's not funny. 835 00:48:54,627 --> 00:48:56,368 What's that? 836 00:48:56,411 --> 00:48:58,805 Oh, god. I can't watch this part. 837 00:48:58,848 --> 00:49:03,375 Oh... my... god! 838 00:49:03,418 --> 00:49:06,117 So it hurts, does it? Hmm? Hurts just a little? 839 00:49:06,160 --> 00:49:09,076 Will this pain ever go away? 840 00:49:09,120 --> 00:49:11,513 Maybe it will, maybe it won't. 841 00:49:15,778 --> 00:49:17,780 Hey, look at this. 842 00:49:17,824 --> 00:49:21,088 Look what I'm doin'. I'm walkin'. I'm... 843 00:49:21,132 --> 00:49:24,352 Oh, my tush hurts. 844 00:49:24,396 --> 00:49:27,399 Hey, my friend's back. 845 00:49:27,442 --> 00:49:31,925 Oh. Now I remember. 846 00:49:33,405 --> 00:49:35,929 He killed my friend. 847 00:49:37,191 --> 00:49:40,020 As god is my witness, 848 00:49:40,064 --> 00:49:43,197 I'm going to learn to walk and get the hell out of here. 849 00:49:46,331 --> 00:49:48,724 Hey, Mike, what do you say we see a movie? 850 00:49:48,768 --> 00:49:51,399 What do you say you carry me around town for once, instead of her, dad? 851 00:49:51,423 --> 00:49:53,773 Yeah, bite my teething ring. 852 00:49:53,816 --> 00:49:57,429 All right. We got Schwarzenegger, and we got Betty boop. 853 00:49:57,472 --> 00:50:01,650 Oh, tough call. They're both really built. They both talk funny. 854 00:50:01,694 --> 00:50:03,522 Well, what would Arnold say if he were here? 855 00:50:03,565 --> 00:50:05,306 He'd say, "do it. Why don't you do it? 856 00:50:05,350 --> 00:50:08,701 You are here. See my movie." I don't know, Arnold. 857 00:50:08,744 --> 00:50:10,331 I think they're a little young for your movie, don't you? 858 00:50:10,355 --> 00:50:12,574 Yeah, he says we're too young. 859 00:50:12,618 --> 00:50:14,988 - All right. - Oh, man. Don't tell me you're gonna pull the... 860 00:50:15,012 --> 00:50:18,406 "Sir, my kid left her shoe inside, can I go get it ?" Gag. 861 00:50:18,450 --> 00:50:21,888 - Okay. Come on. - He's not gonna go for it. 862 00:50:21,931 --> 00:50:25,413 - Sir, my kid left her shoe inside. Can we get it? - Yeah. 863 00:50:25,457 --> 00:50:28,634 - Thanks. - Okay, I guess he went for it. 864 00:50:28,677 --> 00:50:31,941 Mike, here. Remember your obnoxious routine, okay? 865 00:50:31,985 --> 00:50:34,161 Remember it? I live for it. 866 00:50:34,205 --> 00:50:36,946 - Say, "popcorn, popcorn." - Popcorn, popcorn, popcorn! 867 00:50:36,990 --> 00:50:40,124 - Can I help you? - Yeah, the kids knocked over the popcorn 868 00:50:40,167 --> 00:50:43,040 - in the theater. - Popcorn, popcorn, popcorn! 869 00:50:43,083 --> 00:50:44,974 Popcorn, popcorn! All right. Calm down. Just a minute. 870 00:50:44,998 --> 00:50:48,306 Hey, I can be obnoxious too. 871 00:50:48,349 --> 00:50:53,093 Popcorn, popcorn! 872 00:50:53,137 --> 00:50:56,227 - Popcorn, popcorn! - Okay. Just go. 873 00:50:56,270 --> 00:50:57,228 Oh, no. Really? 874 00:50:57,271 --> 00:50:59,839 - You're great. Thanks. - Oh, yeah. 875 00:50:59,882 --> 00:51:01,667 - Thanks a lot. - It's all right. It's okay. 876 00:51:01,710 --> 00:51:02,929 Always works. 877 00:51:02,972 --> 00:51:05,062 Look, you guys. 878 00:51:05,105 --> 00:51:07,629 You know I'll be home soon. But it's just your mother. 879 00:51:07,673 --> 00:51:09,327 If she doesn't stop bossing me around, 880 00:51:09,370 --> 00:51:11,633 I'll never be a good dad, right? 881 00:51:11,677 --> 00:51:14,854 I know that ice cream doesn't make up for me not being home. 882 00:51:14,897 --> 00:51:17,770 Yeah, well, you know. But it's a good start. 883 00:51:17,813 --> 00:51:20,077 I miss you kids so much. 884 00:51:24,255 --> 00:51:27,649 Please don't be mad at me, whatever she says, okay? 885 00:51:30,261 --> 00:51:33,307 And, remember, this has nothing to do with you guys, all right? 886 00:51:33,351 --> 00:51:36,049 It's not your fault, and it's not your fault. 887 00:51:36,093 --> 00:51:38,269 I think it is his fault. 888 00:51:38,312 --> 00:51:42,969 - Yeah, well, I think it's your fault. - Me? You're the bad one. 889 00:51:43,012 --> 00:51:46,581 - I miss you so much. - Oh, pop! 890 00:51:46,625 --> 00:51:48,714 - Do you miss me? - Yeah. 891 00:51:48,757 --> 00:51:53,806 Ick. Male bonding makes me sick. 892 00:51:53,849 --> 00:51:59,464 - She needs to be changed. - Hi! -Oh. There you go, Mike. 893 00:51:59,507 --> 00:52:03,294 Jimmy, have you given any more thought to what we talked about? 894 00:52:03,337 --> 00:52:06,166 ♪ -What? About me being a big, stupid slob? - I got a spoon, uh 895 00:52:06,210 --> 00:52:09,474 ♪ I got a plate, uh, we're gonna boom-a-boom-a-boom-boom ♪ 896 00:52:09,517 --> 00:52:12,148 - No, not about that. - The part about my being mean and selfish and 897 00:52:12,172 --> 00:52:14,479 you wanting me out of the house? 898 00:52:14,522 --> 00:52:16,283 I'm sorry! I just got upset because I didn't think you appreciated 899 00:52:16,307 --> 00:52:18,309 me getting you that j... Mikey, stop it! 900 00:52:18,352 --> 00:52:20,789 All right, all right! I'll do it soft. 901 00:52:20,833 --> 00:52:23,444 ♪ I got a spoon you know, I'm not one of the kids. ♪ 902 00:52:23,488 --> 00:52:26,317 - I can do things for myself. - Oh, yeah, like becoming 903 00:52:26,360 --> 00:52:28,536 an airline pilot when you only fly two hours a week? 904 00:52:28,580 --> 00:52:31,496 - It'll take you till you're 50. - For your information, 905 00:52:31,539 --> 00:52:34,890 ♪ I got myself a job. I got a plate, uh we got to boom-biddy... ♪ 906 00:52:34,934 --> 00:52:38,198 - Knock it off! - Knock it off! -Whoa! 907 00:52:38,242 --> 00:52:41,332 Why'd they do that? He was just working his plate. 908 00:53:03,832 --> 00:53:08,010 ♪ I was dreamin' of the past 909 00:53:11,144 --> 00:53:14,800 ♪ and my heart was beating fast 910 00:53:18,020 --> 00:53:21,372 ♪ I began to lose control 911 00:53:25,202 --> 00:53:29,118 ♪ I began to lose control 912 00:53:32,296 --> 00:53:35,429 ♪ I didn't mean to hurt you 913 00:53:38,606 --> 00:53:44,656 ♪ I'm sorry that I made you cry 914 00:53:44,699 --> 00:53:49,922 ♪ oh, now I didn't want to hurt you 915 00:53:53,752 --> 00:53:55,754 ♪ I'm just a jealous guy 916 00:53:59,192 --> 00:54:02,717 ♪ I was feelin' insecure 917 00:54:06,199 --> 00:54:09,289 ♪ you might not love me anymore 918 00:54:14,033 --> 00:54:17,166 ♪ I was shivering inside 919 00:54:20,996 --> 00:54:25,305 ♪ I was shivering inside 920 00:54:27,002 --> 00:54:31,703 ♪ oh, I didn't mean to hurt you 921 00:54:34,880 --> 00:54:42,061 ♪ I'm sorry that I made you cry oh, now 922 00:54:42,104 --> 00:54:45,978 ♪ I didn't want to hurt you 923 00:54:48,937 --> 00:54:52,550 ♪ I'm just a jealous guy 924 00:54:52,593 --> 00:54:56,031 ♪ watch out I'm just a jealous guy look out ♪ 925 00:54:56,075 --> 00:54:59,992 I'm sorry, Julie. 926 00:55:01,123 --> 00:55:03,038 'Night, baby. 927 00:55:19,881 --> 00:55:22,188 I don't know how you can... 928 00:55:22,231 --> 00:55:24,233 I don't know what they're talking about. 929 00:55:24,277 --> 00:55:28,325 Listen. 930 00:55:28,368 --> 00:55:31,502 So I said to this guy, "what are you, some kind of idiot?" 931 00:55:31,545 --> 00:55:32,938 Oh, come on. 932 00:55:32,981 --> 00:55:34,263 I did. - I said, "file schedule c." -File schedule c. 933 00:55:34,287 --> 00:55:35,723 That's right. 934 00:55:38,944 --> 00:55:41,599 You would, huh? I would what? 935 00:55:41,642 --> 00:55:45,037 File schedule c. Yeah, I would. 936 00:55:57,919 --> 00:56:01,270 Okay, I can do it holdin' on. 937 00:56:01,314 --> 00:56:05,187 But I wonder if I can make it all the way to the couch. 938 00:56:05,231 --> 00:56:07,625 All right. Here goes nothin'. 939 00:56:14,936 --> 00:56:17,852 Yeah, I'm doin' it. I'm doin' it. 940 00:56:21,029 --> 00:56:26,557 - I'm gettin' there. Yes! - You walked! 941 00:56:26,600 --> 00:56:29,211 I did it! I made it! I walked! 942 00:56:33,215 --> 00:56:39,439 Honey, you walked! You walked! Stuart! You walked! 943 00:56:39,483 --> 00:56:41,963 James! Julie... 944 00:56:47,621 --> 00:56:49,599 Jimmy called. He's gonna pick up the kids tomorrow. 945 00:56:49,623 --> 00:56:52,583 Did he ask to talk to me at all? 946 00:56:52,626 --> 00:56:54,889 Well, it's only been a couple of days. 947 00:56:54,933 --> 00:56:59,851 - Fine, fine. Let's work. - I got a spouse who wants to make a contribution 948 00:56:59,894 --> 00:57:02,767 into an ira account, and her husband's covered by a pension plan. 949 00:57:02,810 --> 00:57:04,943 You'd lose a $2,000 deduction. 950 00:57:06,379 --> 00:57:08,947 I actually think you're just being lazy. 951 00:57:08,990 --> 00:57:11,621 You need to do a separate and a joint return and see which one turns out best. 952 00:57:11,645 --> 00:57:15,388 - I know. - I know you know. -I know you know I know. 953 00:57:15,432 --> 00:57:18,783 Get a load of this asshole here. He's a teacher, right? 954 00:57:18,826 --> 00:57:22,003 So he figures that his chair and his desk are one-fourth. 955 00:57:22,047 --> 00:57:25,311 Of his six-room apartment. 956 00:57:25,354 --> 00:57:29,402 So he deducts one-twenty fourth of his residence as work space. 957 00:57:29,446 --> 00:57:31,448 Stuart, you can't do that. 958 00:57:31,491 --> 00:57:32,773 - He can do it. - It's only one-twenty fourth, who's gonna care? 959 00:57:32,797 --> 00:57:34,755 First of all, he has a classroom, 960 00:57:34,799 --> 00:57:38,498 and his school has a teacher's lounge. That's employer-provided workspace. 961 00:57:38,542 --> 00:57:40,500 - You can't deduct that. - You're too strict. 962 00:57:40,544 --> 00:57:42,522 - You could get away with it. - You wanna be a criminal? Good. 963 00:57:42,546 --> 00:57:45,462 What is wrong, doll? 964 00:57:45,505 --> 00:57:48,160 Look at us. It's Saturday night at 10:00, 965 00:57:48,203 --> 00:57:50,205 and we're here with our 1040s. 966 00:57:50,249 --> 00:57:54,122 - It's tax season. - I don't care. We should be out, having fun. 967 00:57:54,166 --> 00:57:58,083 Hey, this is fun. 968 00:57:58,126 --> 00:58:00,714 - I know what's wrong. - No, you don't. -I know what you're thinking. 969 00:58:00,738 --> 00:58:02,870 Okay, what am I thinking? 970 00:58:02,914 --> 00:58:04,805 You're thinking "what's Jimmy doing? He's out there having a ball." 971 00:58:04,829 --> 00:58:08,093 yeah, "ball" being the operative word. 972 00:58:08,136 --> 00:58:12,793 Mollie, come on. He's probably on his sister's couch watching TV. 973 00:58:12,837 --> 00:58:15,361 - He's probably getting laid. - Oh, Stuart! -Thank you very much. 974 00:58:15,404 --> 00:58:16,841 That's just what I need to hear. 975 00:58:16,884 --> 00:58:18,103 Mr. Wonderful, my brother. 976 00:58:18,146 --> 00:58:19,974 - It was just a physical thing. - Just work. 977 00:58:22,803 --> 00:58:25,719 - Hey, rona. Let's go and get something to eat. - Okay, let's go. 978 00:58:31,464 --> 00:58:32,987 ♪ Last night a little dancer 979 00:58:33,031 --> 00:58:37,339 ♪ came dancing to my door 980 00:58:37,383 --> 00:58:41,735 ♪ last night a little angel came pumpin' on the floor ♪ 981 00:58:44,042 --> 00:58:47,393 Whoa, this is great. My wife would never let me drive with the top down. 982 00:58:47,436 --> 00:58:49,700 She'd tell me "it would cause skin cancer." 983 00:58:49,743 --> 00:58:51,199 And she'd say these would cause emphysema. 984 00:58:51,223 --> 00:58:52,920 And this would cause liver disease. 985 00:58:54,574 --> 00:58:56,533 ♪ Because in the midnight hour 986 00:58:56,576 --> 00:58:58,535 ♪ oh, man! She cried more, more, more 987 00:58:58,578 --> 00:59:02,016 ♪ with a rebel yell 988 00:59:02,060 --> 00:59:03,540 ♪ she cried more, more, more ♪ 989 00:59:03,583 --> 00:59:07,021 Whoa! What a rush! 990 00:59:07,065 --> 00:59:10,242 Oh, man! My wife would have hated that. 991 00:59:10,285 --> 00:59:13,898 How dull! I mean, you have to have some fun in life! 992 00:59:13,941 --> 00:59:16,509 You know what her idea of living dangerously would be? 993 00:59:16,553 --> 00:59:18,729 Forgetting one of her vitamins. 994 00:59:18,772 --> 00:59:22,907 What a snail! Hey, let's go get some pork. 995 00:59:22,950 --> 00:59:27,128 ♪ With a rebel yell more, more, more ♪ 996 00:59:31,393 --> 00:59:35,006 - You okay? - Yeah. I'm fine. 997 00:59:35,049 --> 00:59:38,052 I just wish James would get here so I can go to work already. 998 00:59:38,096 --> 00:59:40,577 Okay, you little brat, let go of her head! 999 00:59:40,620 --> 00:59:42,840 Let go. Just, just... Hey! 1000 00:59:42,883 --> 00:59:45,688 Everybody in the circle. Everybody in the circle. Just... get in the circle. 1001 00:59:45,712 --> 00:59:48,062 Get in the circle. 1002 00:59:48,106 --> 00:59:51,849 Just, everybody together. Just, who am I talking to here? 1003 00:59:51,892 --> 00:59:55,243 Now, Eddie, run this potty thing by me one more time. 1004 00:59:55,287 --> 00:59:58,072 It's simple. You got to take control of the situation. 1005 00:59:58,116 --> 01:00:01,815 - How you do that? - You got to say, "hey, yo, pee-pee. 1006 01:00:01,859 --> 01:00:04,949 I know you're in there, but you're not comin' out till I say so." 1007 01:00:04,992 --> 01:00:08,561 - The pee-pees just listen to you? - Sometimes they do, 1008 01:00:08,605 --> 01:00:12,521 sometimes they don't, but that's what the grownups are there for. 1009 01:00:12,565 --> 01:00:15,481 - Hey, buster. - What are you doing? 1010 01:00:15,524 --> 01:00:19,485 - Hey, Joey, need some help? - Get in a circle. Indians dance in a circle. 1011 01:00:19,528 --> 01:00:21,356 Hey! 1012 01:00:21,400 --> 01:00:24,403 Help me. Jews and Italians all dance in circles. 1013 01:00:24,446 --> 01:00:27,580 Come, kids. Help me. Help me here. Do that step we do. 1014 01:00:29,582 --> 01:00:30,627 Do this, kids! 1015 01:00:37,068 --> 01:00:39,984 Good! All right. 1016 01:00:40,027 --> 01:00:42,639 - Elvis! Elvis! - Ooh, Elvis, my man! 1017 01:00:42,682 --> 01:00:45,119 Come on! Dance, dance, dance. Come on! 1018 01:00:45,163 --> 01:00:47,600 Damnit, I'll slap you. Dance! 1019 01:00:47,644 --> 01:00:50,647 Dance! Hey! Twist, twist! 1020 01:00:52,561 --> 01:00:53,561 Come on, twist! 1021 01:00:56,740 --> 01:00:59,660 - Follow me! - Follow him! Follow him! Here, I'll give ya a dollar. Follow! 1022 01:01:20,241 --> 01:01:23,636 Come on, show off, get out of here! 1023 01:01:42,655 --> 01:01:47,094 Oh, are you kidding? I'm having a stroke. Oh, boy! 1024 01:02:01,718 --> 01:02:04,285 Hey come here, Elvis, I'm your kid, not them! 1025 01:02:04,329 --> 01:02:08,855 You hit me! You hit me. Hey, Molly. See you later. 1026 01:02:14,861 --> 01:02:17,472 What's with him? He acts like I don't even exist. 1027 01:02:18,386 --> 01:02:19,561 I don't get it. 1028 01:02:20,867 --> 01:02:22,086 Am I losing it? 1029 01:02:27,482 --> 01:02:30,485 Oh man, Julie. If we're going to get your daddy back... 1030 01:02:30,529 --> 01:02:32,879 We're going to have to do some serious packaging. 1031 01:02:34,620 --> 01:02:36,100 Are you with me, kid? 1032 01:02:36,143 --> 01:02:38,537 Yeah! Let's dress up for daddy! 1033 01:02:38,580 --> 01:02:42,846 ♪ When I have a brand new hairdo 1034 01:02:42,889 --> 01:02:47,894 ♪ with my eyelashes all in curl 1035 01:02:47,938 --> 01:02:52,420 ♪ I float as the clouds on air do 1036 01:02:52,464 --> 01:02:57,208 ♪ I enjoy being a girl 1037 01:02:57,251 --> 01:03:01,821 ♪ I flip when a fellow sends me flowers 1038 01:03:01,865 --> 01:03:06,652 ♪ I drool over dresses made of lace 1039 01:03:06,695 --> 01:03:11,091 ♪ I talk on the telephone for hours 1040 01:03:11,135 --> 01:03:15,879 ♪ with a pound and a half of cream upon my face 1041 01:03:15,922 --> 01:03:20,927 ♪ I'm strictly a female female 1042 01:03:20,971 --> 01:03:25,802 ♪ and my future I hope will be 1043 01:03:25,845 --> 01:03:30,110 ♪ in the home of a brave and free male 1044 01:03:30,154 --> 01:03:36,203 ♪ who enjoys being a guy 1045 01:03:36,247 --> 01:03:43,297 ♪ having a girl like me 1046 01:03:45,996 --> 01:03:48,737 -gee, hi! - Hey, rona! You look good. -Thanks, doll. 1047 01:03:48,781 --> 01:03:51,566 All right, big boy. I'll see you. 1048 01:03:51,610 --> 01:03:53,240 - No no, where are you going? Don't go. - I got to go! 1049 01:03:53,264 --> 01:03:55,266 No, Molly wants to talk to you. 1050 01:03:55,309 --> 01:03:58,182 - For what? - Come on, oh, Jimmy, just talk to her, come on. Be nice. 1051 01:04:00,880 --> 01:04:03,404 Oh, hi! 1052 01:04:03,448 --> 01:04:05,885 Have you seen my sunglasses anywhere? 1053 01:04:05,929 --> 01:04:09,715 Jimmy, don't you think we should try and work out some of your problems? 1054 01:04:09,758 --> 01:04:12,476 What problems? The biggest problem I got is squinting my eyes all day. 1055 01:04:12,500 --> 01:04:14,894 Don't you even miss this? 1056 01:04:14,938 --> 01:04:17,984 Ooh, calling out the heavy artillery, huh? 1057 01:04:18,028 --> 01:04:20,388 - God, do you always have to be such a putz? - Oh, pipe down. 1058 01:04:23,033 --> 01:04:25,533 Hmm, maybe this is a good opportunity for me to try what Eddie said. 1059 01:04:25,557 --> 01:04:27,994 I think I'll just have a talk with my pee-pee. 1060 01:04:28,038 --> 01:04:30,238 I'm getting ready to go to the potty, so don't come out. 1061 01:04:31,476 --> 01:04:34,044 Hmm! I can still feel them in there. 1062 01:04:34,087 --> 01:04:37,569 But maybe it's working. Maybe Eddie was right! 1063 01:04:37,612 --> 01:04:38,892 Okay. Let's see if I can make it. 1064 01:04:40,964 --> 01:04:44,706 I can still feel 'em. Maybe they're listening to me. 1065 01:04:44,750 --> 01:04:47,927 Okay, don't come out, don't come out! 1066 01:04:47,971 --> 01:04:50,712 Ooh, it's getting a little tougher now. 1067 01:04:50,756 --> 01:04:52,192 Don't come out, I'm almost there. 1068 01:04:53,280 --> 01:04:55,804 Ooh! I might make it. 1069 01:04:55,848 --> 01:05:00,418 Don't come out! Ooh, had to pinch that one back. Yeah. 1070 01:05:00,461 --> 01:05:02,289 Okay don't come out, don't come out. 1071 01:05:02,333 --> 01:05:06,337 Might make it! If I could just get these darn pants down. 1072 01:05:06,380 --> 01:05:08,513 Oh, wait a minute, hold it... 1073 01:05:17,043 --> 01:05:21,743 Mommy, daddy! Mommy, daddy! 1074 01:05:21,787 --> 01:05:27,010 - Huh? What? - What is that? What's wrong with him? 1075 01:05:27,053 --> 01:05:31,884 - Oh! Honey! - Oh! Mike, you did it! You did it, boy. I'm so... 1076 01:05:31,928 --> 01:05:34,321 Wait a minute wait a minute I'm not done! 1077 01:05:34,365 --> 01:05:36,976 Mikey went pee-pee in the potty! 1078 01:05:37,020 --> 01:05:40,545 Pee-pee in the potty! Pee-pee in the potty! 1079 01:05:43,983 --> 01:05:47,378 Isn't it great, sweetie? Your brother went pee-pee! 1080 01:05:47,421 --> 01:05:50,120 Big deal. I made a doodey. 1081 01:05:50,163 --> 01:05:53,906 I can't believe this, what a big boy! Good boy! 1082 01:05:53,950 --> 01:05:56,778 I haven't felt this good since the day he was born. 1083 01:05:56,822 --> 01:05:59,322 I know, it's so weird, it's better than money, it's better than airplanes, its... 1084 01:05:59,346 --> 01:06:01,609 It's better than sex! 1085 01:06:01,653 --> 01:06:03,263 Well, I don't know about that, but... 1086 01:06:06,005 --> 01:06:08,268 You hungry? 1087 01:06:08,312 --> 01:06:10,749 - No, I got to go. - I could fix you anything you want. 1088 01:06:10,792 --> 01:06:12,838 I got a nine o'clock flight. 1089 01:06:12,881 --> 01:06:15,014 But it's pouring out! 1090 01:06:15,058 --> 01:06:17,253 Well, you know what they say. It's better to be up in the air pouring 1091 01:06:17,277 --> 01:06:19,168 than it is on the ground on the highway in a car! 1092 01:06:19,192 --> 01:06:21,586 Well, whoever said that the highway was safe? 1093 01:06:21,629 --> 01:06:24,469 I mean, every year there's 200,000 fatalities related to the rain, and... 1094 01:06:37,428 --> 01:06:38,907 Want some chicken? 1095 01:06:38,951 --> 01:06:41,519 I don't know, it depends on how it turns out. 1096 01:06:41,562 --> 01:06:44,739 Okay so what do you need? Paprika, vegetables, what... 1097 01:06:48,743 --> 01:06:51,485 Get me whatever you want. Hey, Molly. Do you want some chicken? 1098 01:06:51,529 --> 01:06:53,835 Um, no thanks, honey, I don't eat meat. 1099 01:06:53,879 --> 01:06:59,058 Havoc in five states. The forecast calls for increased winds... 1100 01:06:59,102 --> 01:07:03,541 That's it. I have to talk to Jimmy, this is crazy. 1101 01:07:08,502 --> 01:07:11,114 Hi, this is Mollie rialco. Could I speak to my husband James? 1102 01:07:11,157 --> 01:07:14,073 - He's on the field. - Oh he is? -Yeah. 1103 01:07:14,117 --> 01:07:16,162 - Oh has he taxied out yet? - Not yet. 1104 01:07:16,206 --> 01:07:18,358 Oh good. Could you have somebody go out there and get him for me please? 1105 01:07:18,382 --> 01:07:21,646 - It's an emergency. - No. 1106 01:07:21,689 --> 01:07:24,997 - Do you think you could reach him on his phone? - No. 1107 01:07:25,041 --> 01:07:29,828 - All right, all right. So what terminal is he in? - Airborne express terminal. 1108 01:07:29,871 --> 01:07:32,111 - Okay, got it. What ramp? - What do I know? You'll have to come in and ask. 1109 01:07:32,135 --> 01:07:33,614 Okay. Thank you very much. 1110 01:07:33,658 --> 01:07:37,314 Stewart, I've got to go get James. 1111 01:07:37,357 --> 01:07:39,707 You feed the kids their dinner, all right? 1112 01:07:39,751 --> 01:07:42,014 And do not give them any diet coke like you did last time. 1113 01:08:18,746 --> 01:08:22,010 Wait, hold it, hold it, wait a minute, hold it! 1114 01:08:22,054 --> 01:08:24,839 New York center, one three five point nine. 1115 01:08:26,450 --> 01:08:28,582 Mollie, what are you doing here? 1116 01:08:28,626 --> 01:08:30,497 I told them that there was a family emergency. 1117 01:08:30,541 --> 01:08:32,649 - Mollie, you shouldn't be here. - No, Jimmy, you're the one 1118 01:08:32,673 --> 01:08:35,174 -who shouldn't be here. It's too dangerous to fly tonight. - Oh, Mollie, I've told you a 1119 01:08:35,198 --> 01:08:37,417 million times. We fly around the weather. 1120 01:08:37,461 --> 01:08:40,744 That's just it! You can't fly around it this time. It's like wall-to-wall storms out there. 1121 01:08:40,768 --> 01:08:42,553 Didn't you listen to the news? 1122 01:08:42,596 --> 01:08:45,097 - Honey, the news always upsets you. - All right, forget the news. 1123 01:08:45,121 --> 01:08:48,776 Let's just say that I have this gut feeling that you shouldn't be up there! 1124 01:08:48,820 --> 01:08:51,277 Well we don't need your gut feeling, we've go sophisticated instruments 1125 01:08:51,301 --> 01:08:53,607 that tell me exactly where I can go and where I can't go. 1126 01:08:53,651 --> 01:08:56,349 Now I got my clearance, and I'm leaving. So would you please go? 1127 01:08:56,393 --> 01:08:58,414 - I'm not leaving this plane without you. - Mollie, get out. 1128 01:08:58,438 --> 01:09:00,962 - I'm not leaving. - Get out! -No! 1129 01:09:01,006 --> 01:09:03,637 Four seven papa, due to adverse weather conditions, we're canceling all flights 1130 01:09:03,661 --> 01:09:06,011 until further notice. Do you read me, four seven papa? 1131 01:09:08,448 --> 01:09:11,799 Okay that's four seven papa. You can cancel our flight plan. 1132 01:09:11,843 --> 01:09:13,497 Roger, four seven papa. 1133 01:09:13,540 --> 01:09:16,195 So. I guess this time your feeling is right, huh? 1134 01:09:17,240 --> 01:09:18,240 Does it make you happy? 1135 01:09:19,546 --> 01:09:21,635 Jimmy... 1136 01:09:21,679 --> 01:09:26,074 I love you. I don't care anymore if I'm right or wrong. 1137 01:09:26,118 --> 01:09:29,948 You do too, you liar. 1138 01:09:29,991 --> 01:09:34,779 Well, I sort of like being right. But I do love you. 1139 01:09:38,478 --> 01:09:39,827 I love you too. 1140 01:09:54,625 --> 01:09:56,409 Auuugh boosh! 1141 01:09:56,453 --> 01:09:58,411 I got you! 1142 01:09:59,543 --> 01:10:01,893 Bombs away! 1143 01:10:01,936 --> 01:10:06,376 A little napalm oughtta slow you down, colonel! 1144 01:10:06,419 --> 01:10:09,074 Thank god they left me with a responsible adult. 1145 01:10:20,128 --> 01:10:22,609 - Chaaaarge! I got you! - Oh no! 1146 01:10:22,653 --> 01:10:25,917 You are my prisoner! 1147 01:10:25,960 --> 01:10:29,268 Okay! I give up! I surrender! 1148 01:10:29,312 --> 01:10:31,836 Yeah? How about a little squirt in the nostril? 1149 01:10:34,491 --> 01:10:37,494 This ain't over. This ain't over. 1150 01:10:37,537 --> 01:10:39,757 I'll get my troops together, and we'll be back. 1151 01:10:56,034 --> 01:10:58,123 Mikey, watch Julie, okay? 1152 01:10:59,994 --> 01:11:02,040 Why, is she gonna do something besides slobber? 1153 01:11:11,658 --> 01:11:13,312 Auuugh! Freeze! Okay. 1154 01:11:13,356 --> 01:11:15,706 Okay. Put the bag down. 1155 01:11:15,749 --> 01:11:17,751 Slow, and nobody's going to get hurt. 1156 01:11:17,795 --> 01:11:19,057 Put the bag down. 1157 01:11:32,026 --> 01:11:33,941 Hey! Stop! 1158 01:11:57,704 --> 01:12:01,491 - Mm, the kids are going to be so excited. - Who's taking care of them? 1159 01:12:01,534 --> 01:12:03,667 - Stewart. - Stewart? 1160 01:12:03,710 --> 01:12:06,790 - Aw, no. What are ya, nuts? - Don't worry, everything's going to be all right! 1161 01:12:10,674 --> 01:12:12,980 Holy cow! 1162 01:12:13,024 --> 01:12:15,374 Okay, stay calm, just go get uncle Stewart. 1163 01:12:15,418 --> 01:12:17,942 Uncle Stewart! Uncle Stewart! 1164 01:12:19,247 --> 01:12:21,249 Oh, great! 1165 01:12:22,425 --> 01:12:25,079 Hey! Somebody stop that guy! 1166 01:12:32,478 --> 01:12:35,655 - Hey! Where's mommy? - Come on, Julie! 1167 01:12:35,699 --> 01:12:37,764 I don't know where uncle Stewart is, but we got to get outta here! 1168 01:12:37,788 --> 01:12:39,964 This is way too much hot stuff! 1169 01:12:40,007 --> 01:12:42,445 Mikey, this stuff is scary! 1170 01:12:42,488 --> 01:12:46,492 - It's okay, Julie. - I'm afraid! -I'll take care of you. 1171 01:12:46,536 --> 01:12:49,060 I don't know where that bonehead uncle Stewart is. 1172 01:12:49,103 --> 01:12:52,143 - Now just keep your hands in, Julie. Don't touch anything! - Mikey, it's hot! 1173 01:13:07,208 --> 01:13:10,081 Hey, what was that for? 1174 01:13:10,124 --> 01:13:12,886 - Well what did you want me to do, let him kill you? - Oh what are talking about? 1175 01:13:12,910 --> 01:13:14,564 Stewart, where are the kids? 1176 01:13:14,607 --> 01:13:16,566 They're upstairs. 1177 01:13:16,609 --> 01:13:18,959 Oh my god! 1178 01:13:22,441 --> 01:13:23,529 I'll take the stairs. 1179 01:13:26,140 --> 01:13:30,406 Okay here we go, I think we're safe. 1180 01:13:30,449 --> 01:13:32,843 - Whoa, that was close. - How did you get down here? 1181 01:13:32,886 --> 01:13:34,453 We just walked. 1182 01:13:34,497 --> 01:13:37,108 Technically, I was pushed 1183 01:13:37,151 --> 01:13:39,991 - honey, get him out and call the fire department. - Okay, come on, baby. 1184 01:13:58,782 --> 01:14:02,089 Turn, then press... Whoa! 1185 01:14:11,272 --> 01:14:15,538 Yes! Yes! 1186 01:14:15,581 --> 01:14:19,498 So I chase him all the way down until he landed on some fire escape 1187 01:14:19,542 --> 01:14:23,937 chase him down through this thing, I jump on the guy, and then I sucker punched him. 1188 01:14:23,981 --> 01:14:27,332 He's amazing! Isn't he? 1189 01:14:27,375 --> 01:14:30,596 - Oh, Stewart, let's get married! - Yeah! 1190 01:14:30,640 --> 01:14:32,922 All you guys are pretty lucky the fire didn't spread beyond the kitchen! 1191 01:14:32,946 --> 01:14:35,514 Yeah well thank god I got that fire extinguisher! 1192 01:14:35,558 --> 01:14:38,299 I was the one who got the fir extinguisher. 1193 01:14:38,343 --> 01:14:40,582 - I got the fire extinguisher! - No, I got the fire extinguisher. 1194 01:14:40,606 --> 01:14:44,305 Who left the kids with Stewart? That was a pretty bonehead idea, huh? 1195 01:14:45,176 --> 01:14:47,265 Oh... yeah. 1196 01:14:48,048 --> 01:14:50,442 Good answer. 1197 01:14:56,056 --> 01:14:59,016 I'm worried about you barbecuing all the time. 1198 01:14:59,059 --> 01:15:01,975 - Oh, will you relax? - It's really not good for the environment, mom. 1199 01:15:02,019 --> 01:15:07,677 We just got one of these brand-new outdoor electric stoves, and they're... 1200 01:15:07,720 --> 01:15:10,549 No, they don't do anything bad! 1201 01:15:10,593 --> 01:15:13,596 You've gotten to be such a nudge, I don't know how... 1202 01:15:24,955 --> 01:15:30,830 Mikey, okay. You got me out of the hot stuff. I don't get it. 1203 01:15:30,874 --> 01:15:34,225 Well now, listen. You know, hot stuff can be very bad for you. 1204 01:15:34,268 --> 01:15:36,923 It's especially not good for kids at all. 1205 01:15:36,967 --> 01:15:38,925 But I thought you hated me? 1206 01:15:38,969 --> 01:15:41,232 I mean, you're always mean to me and stuff. 1207 01:15:41,275 --> 01:15:44,801 Yeah, well, I do hate you a lot of the time. 1208 01:15:44,844 --> 01:15:48,413 You drive me crazy. You bug me. You poke me in the eye. 1209 01:15:48,456 --> 01:15:51,851 But you're my sister. And its my job to love you. 1210 01:15:51,895 --> 01:15:53,940 We got to stick together. 1211 01:15:53,984 --> 01:15:57,291 The way I see it, there's us, and there's them. 1212 01:15:58,902 --> 01:16:01,861 Yeah, big ones don't make any sense. 1213 01:16:01,905 --> 01:16:04,951 You never know what big ones are gonna do. 1214 01:16:04,995 --> 01:16:08,128 - That's for sure. That's why we have to stick together. - Yeah! 1215 01:16:09,303 --> 01:16:10,304 You and me. 1216 01:16:11,305 --> 01:16:12,872 You and me? 1217 01:16:12,916 --> 01:16:15,527 That's right. You and me. 1218 01:16:15,571 --> 01:16:18,269 - We're the kids! - Yeah! 1219 01:20:34,655 --> 01:20:38,094 Ow! Oh, my tush hurts.