1 00:01:57,759 --> 00:01:59,727 Is there anything I can do for you, monsieur? 2 00:01:59,795 --> 00:02:01,126 No. 3 00:02:11,641 --> 00:02:12,767 Yes, monsieur? 4 00:02:12,842 --> 00:02:14,469 Just looking around. 5 00:02:31,995 --> 00:02:34,692 Comrades, why should we lie to each other? It's wonderful. 6 00:02:34,766 --> 00:02:37,428 Let's be honest. Have we anything like it in Russia? 7 00:02:37,502 --> 00:02:38,491 No. 8 00:02:38,570 --> 00:02:41,471 Can you imagine what the beds would be in a hotel like that? 9 00:02:41,539 --> 00:02:44,007 They tell me when you ring once, the valet comes in. 10 00:02:44,075 --> 00:02:45,906 When you ring twice, you get a waiter. 11 00:02:45,977 --> 00:02:48,844 And do you know what happens when you ring three times? 12 00:02:48,913 --> 00:02:51,883 A maid comes in, a French maid. 13 00:02:52,118 --> 00:02:56,020 Comrades, if we ring nine times... Let's go in. 14 00:02:56,088 --> 00:02:57,350 Just a minute. 15 00:02:57,423 --> 00:03:00,085 I have nothing against the idea, but I still say... 16 00:03:00,159 --> 00:03:02,184 let's go back to the Hotel Terminus. 17 00:03:02,261 --> 00:03:05,857 Moscow made our reservations there. We are on an official mission... 18 00:03:05,932 --> 00:03:08,867 and we have no right to change the orders of our superiors. 19 00:03:08,935 --> 00:03:10,835 Where is your courage, Comrade Buljanoff? 20 00:03:10,904 --> 00:03:13,168 Are you the Buljanoff who fought on the barricades? 21 00:03:13,240 --> 00:03:15,470 And now you are afraid to take a room with a bath? 22 00:03:15,542 --> 00:03:16,804 I don't want to go to Siberia. 23 00:03:16,877 --> 00:03:18,709 And I don't want to go to Hotel Terminus. 24 00:03:18,779 --> 00:03:20,679 And I don't want to... 25 00:03:20,748 --> 00:03:23,342 - No. - Listen to me. 26 00:03:23,751 --> 00:03:26,652 Look, Buljanoff, if Lenin were alive, he would say: 27 00:03:26,721 --> 00:03:29,622 "Buljanoff, comrade, for once in your life you're in Paris. 28 00:03:29,690 --> 00:03:32,124 "Don't be a fool. Go in there and ring three times. " 29 00:03:32,193 --> 00:03:33,251 He wouldn't say that. 30 00:03:33,327 --> 00:03:36,559 What he would say is: "You can't afford to live in a cheap hotel. 31 00:03:36,632 --> 00:03:39,430 "Doesn't the prestige of the Bolsheviks mean anything to you? 32 00:03:39,501 --> 00:03:40,900 "Do you want to live in a hotel... 33 00:03:40,969 --> 00:03:43,665 "where you press for the hot water and cold water comes... 34 00:03:43,739 --> 00:03:46,606 "and when you press for cold water, nothing comes at all?" 35 00:03:46,675 --> 00:03:48,200 Phooey, Buljanoff. 36 00:03:48,278 --> 00:03:51,076 I still say our place is with the common people. 37 00:03:51,147 --> 00:03:53,877 But who am I to contradict Lenin? Let's go in. 38 00:03:57,120 --> 00:03:58,951 - Are you the manager? - Yes, monsieur. 39 00:03:59,022 --> 00:04:01,115 Pardon me for introducing Comrade Iranoff... 40 00:04:01,191 --> 00:04:03,353 - member of the Russian Board of Trade. - Monsieur. 41 00:04:03,427 --> 00:04:05,327 - This is Comrade Kopalski. - Monsieur. 42 00:04:05,396 --> 00:04:07,387 - And I am Comrade Buljanoff. - Monsieur. 43 00:04:07,464 --> 00:04:09,659 May I ask you how much your rooms are? 44 00:04:09,733 --> 00:04:12,395 Gentlemen, I'm afraid our rates are rather high. 45 00:04:12,469 --> 00:04:14,460 Why should you be afraid? 46 00:04:15,139 --> 00:04:17,334 I might be able to accommodate you. 47 00:04:17,408 --> 00:04:19,309 - Is there some more luggage? - Yes. 48 00:04:19,377 --> 00:04:21,538 But have you a safe big enough to hold this? 49 00:04:21,613 --> 00:04:24,411 I'm afraid we have no boxes of that size in the vault... 50 00:04:24,482 --> 00:04:27,349 - but there's a suite with a private safe. - That's even better. 51 00:04:27,419 --> 00:04:30,286 - But, gentlemen, I'm afraid... - He's always afraid. 52 00:04:30,522 --> 00:04:32,753 I just wanted to explain. 53 00:04:32,925 --> 00:04:34,756 The apartment may suit your convenience... 54 00:04:34,827 --> 00:04:36,988 but I doubt whether it will fit your convictions. 55 00:04:37,063 --> 00:04:39,156 - It's the Royal Suite. - The Royal Suite? 56 00:04:39,232 --> 00:04:40,460 Just a minute. 57 00:04:40,533 --> 00:04:44,697 Comrades, I warn you, if it gets out in Moscow that we stay in the Royal Suite... 58 00:04:44,770 --> 00:04:46,260 we'll get into terrible trouble. 59 00:04:46,339 --> 00:04:48,831 We'll tell them we had to do it on account of the safe. 60 00:04:48,909 --> 00:04:51,707 That's a perfect excuse. There was no other safe big enough. 61 00:04:51,778 --> 00:04:53,575 - That's right. - That's fine. 62 00:04:54,147 --> 00:04:56,047 Of course, we could take out the pieces... 63 00:04:56,116 --> 00:04:58,983 and distribute them in three or four boxes in the vault... 64 00:04:59,052 --> 00:05:00,542 and take a small room. 65 00:05:00,621 --> 00:05:03,750 - That's an idea, isn't it? - Yes, that's an idea. 66 00:05:03,992 --> 00:05:05,687 But who said we had to have an idea? 67 00:05:05,760 --> 00:05:08,251 - That's right. - That's very good. 68 00:05:08,329 --> 00:05:11,127 - Give us the Royal Suite. - Step this way, please. 69 00:05:31,921 --> 00:05:33,115 Hello. 70 00:05:33,323 --> 00:05:36,486 Please connect me with Mercier. Yes, the jeweler. 71 00:05:39,429 --> 00:05:42,830 Hello? No, I want to speak to Monsieur Mercier personally. 72 00:05:42,899 --> 00:05:43,957 Yes. 73 00:05:44,668 --> 00:05:46,136 Hello, Monsieur Mercier? 74 00:05:46,203 --> 00:05:48,967 This is Iranoff, Member of the Russian Board of Trade. 75 00:05:49,040 --> 00:05:50,974 Yes, we arrived this morning. 76 00:05:51,142 --> 00:05:52,939 Thank you very much. 77 00:05:53,010 --> 00:05:55,570 Yes, we have everything here. The necklace, too. 78 00:05:55,646 --> 00:05:58,672 All 14 pieces, at the... What? 79 00:05:59,250 --> 00:06:01,082 No, Monsieur Mercier. 80 00:06:01,153 --> 00:06:05,283 The court jewels of the Grand Duchess Swana consisted of 14 pieces. 81 00:06:05,490 --> 00:06:07,321 Why don't you check on that? 82 00:06:07,459 --> 00:06:09,791 Of course, we have all the necessary credentials. 83 00:06:11,196 --> 00:06:13,926 Take care of the Royal Suite. I'll be back in 10 minutes. 84 00:06:13,999 --> 00:06:16,195 - All right, Rakonin. - Thank you very much. 85 00:06:17,236 --> 00:06:19,397 - 8 rue de Chalon. - Bien, monsieur. 86 00:06:40,060 --> 00:06:41,960 - Hello, Leon. - Good morning, Swana, darling. 87 00:06:42,029 --> 00:06:44,590 It's really a wretched morning. I can't get myself right. 88 00:06:44,666 --> 00:06:46,531 I wanted to look mellow and I look brittle. 89 00:06:46,601 --> 00:06:49,297 My face doesn't compose well. It's all highlights. 90 00:06:49,404 --> 00:06:52,237 How can I dim myself down, Leon? Suggest something. 91 00:06:52,307 --> 00:06:56,175 I'm so bored with this face. I wish I had someone else's face. 92 00:06:56,244 --> 00:06:58,405 Whose face would you have if you had your choice? 93 00:06:58,480 --> 00:07:00,847 I guess one gets the face one deserves. 94 00:07:00,916 --> 00:07:03,214 There's one marvelous advantage to your composition. 95 00:07:03,285 --> 00:07:06,083 However many questions you ask, you never expect an answer. 96 00:07:06,155 --> 00:07:07,850 Don't you find that restful? 97 00:07:07,923 --> 00:07:10,619 - Good morning, darling. - Good morning. 98 00:07:10,726 --> 00:07:13,958 - Why didn't you come last night? - I was looking after your interests. 99 00:07:14,030 --> 00:07:15,088 Did you win? 100 00:07:15,165 --> 00:07:17,360 We can forget horse racing, roulette, everything. 101 00:07:17,434 --> 00:07:18,560 Our worries are over. 102 00:07:18,635 --> 00:07:21,263 You remember the platinum watch with the diamond numbers? 103 00:07:21,338 --> 00:07:23,363 You'll be in a position to give it to me now. 104 00:07:23,440 --> 00:07:25,635 Darling, you're so good to me. 105 00:07:26,710 --> 00:07:28,611 We could be rich, if you say the word. 106 00:07:28,679 --> 00:07:32,080 - I had dinner with the Guizots last night. - Those awful newspaper people. 107 00:07:32,150 --> 00:07:34,516 You'd be surprised how many nice people dine with them. 108 00:07:34,585 --> 00:07:36,883 What a gruesome proof of the power of the press. 109 00:07:36,954 --> 00:07:40,287 I sold Monsieur Guizot the idea of publishing your memoirs... 110 00:07:40,358 --> 00:07:41,791 - in the Gazette Parisienne. - What? 111 00:07:41,859 --> 00:07:45,227 "The Life and Loves of the Grand Duchess Swana of Russia. " 112 00:07:45,297 --> 00:07:49,233 We won't have to worry about our future if you're willing to raffle off your past. 113 00:07:49,835 --> 00:07:51,063 Come in. 114 00:07:54,740 --> 00:07:57,709 Count Rakonin asks the privilege of a few words, Your Highness. 115 00:07:57,776 --> 00:08:00,439 - Rakonin? - He's a waiter at the Clarence, poor devil. 116 00:08:00,513 --> 00:08:01,912 - You know him. - Yes. 117 00:08:01,981 --> 00:08:04,415 Tell him I won't be able to see him for half an hour. 118 00:08:04,484 --> 00:08:06,714 The Count says if it could be as soon as possible. 119 00:08:06,786 --> 00:08:08,777 It's luncheon time, and he is between courses. 120 00:08:08,855 --> 00:08:10,379 All right, I'll see him right away. 121 00:08:10,457 --> 00:08:13,985 - I can't get myself right today... - Count Rakonin's between courses. 122 00:08:14,862 --> 00:08:17,126 My little Volga boatman. 123 00:08:20,534 --> 00:08:23,196 - How do you do, my friend? Won't you sit? - Your Highness. 124 00:08:23,270 --> 00:08:26,330 - Your Highness, forgive this intrusion... - Have you lost your job? 125 00:08:26,407 --> 00:08:28,467 No, Madame. Something of the utmost importance. 126 00:08:28,543 --> 00:08:30,670 - It concerns your jewels. - My jewels? 127 00:08:30,745 --> 00:08:33,475 I remember one birthday of His Majesty, our beloved Czar... 128 00:08:33,548 --> 00:08:35,675 I had the honor of being on guard at his palace. 129 00:08:35,750 --> 00:08:38,184 I still see you bending before His Majesty. 130 00:08:38,253 --> 00:08:40,619 You wore your diadem and a necklace. 131 00:08:40,922 --> 00:08:42,652 But why do you bring this up now? 132 00:08:42,725 --> 00:08:44,852 They are here. Your jewels, here in Paris. 133 00:08:44,927 --> 00:08:46,622 Alexis, do you know what you're saying? 134 00:08:46,696 --> 00:08:48,493 This morning, three Soviet agents arrived. 135 00:08:48,564 --> 00:08:51,499 I overheard a telephone conversation with Mercier, the jeweler. 136 00:08:51,567 --> 00:08:54,559 - They're going to sell them. - Did I hear something about jewels? 137 00:08:54,637 --> 00:08:56,798 Rakonin has just given me the most amazing news. 138 00:08:56,874 --> 00:08:59,399 You know Count d'Algout. I must call my lawyer at once. 139 00:08:59,476 --> 00:09:02,912 - I'm sorry, Your Highness. I have to leave. - I'll get in touch with you. 140 00:09:02,980 --> 00:09:04,880 - Hello. Balzac, 2769. - Au revoir, monsieur. 141 00:09:04,948 --> 00:09:06,040 Au revoir. 142 00:09:07,784 --> 00:09:09,149 This is the Grand Duchess Swana. 143 00:09:09,219 --> 00:09:12,986 I want to speak to Monsieur Cornillon. It's very important. Get him right away. 144 00:09:13,391 --> 00:09:14,619 Hello, Monsieur Cornillon? 145 00:09:14,692 --> 00:09:18,150 The most incredible thing has happened. My jewels are here in Paris. 146 00:09:18,229 --> 00:09:20,493 Three Bolshevik swine are trying to sell them. 147 00:09:20,565 --> 00:09:21,554 Yes! 148 00:09:22,567 --> 00:09:26,162 Now, we must act immediately. Call the police, have them arrested. 149 00:09:26,272 --> 00:09:28,206 Well, then get an injunction. 150 00:09:28,607 --> 00:09:30,871 But do something, Monsieur Cornillon! 151 00:09:31,043 --> 00:09:32,510 But they are my jewels. 152 00:09:32,578 --> 00:09:34,478 There must be some way of getting them back. 153 00:09:34,547 --> 00:09:35,912 What does he say? 154 00:09:36,181 --> 00:09:38,172 But how can there be a question? 155 00:09:38,684 --> 00:09:40,584 Are you my lawyer or theirs? 156 00:09:43,990 --> 00:09:45,252 It's all right. 157 00:09:45,725 --> 00:09:47,852 Yes, all right, I will call you later. 158 00:09:47,928 --> 00:09:50,419 - What did he say? - They're pretty hopeless. 159 00:09:50,497 --> 00:09:52,021 There may be a chance, that's all. 160 00:09:52,098 --> 00:09:54,430 The French government has recognized Soviet Russia... 161 00:09:54,501 --> 00:09:57,471 and he doubts that they will risk a war for my poor sake. 162 00:09:57,538 --> 00:10:01,269 He might be able to make up some kind of a case, but it would cost money. 163 00:10:01,375 --> 00:10:04,503 Money, that's all they are interested in, those lawyers. 164 00:10:04,579 --> 00:10:07,047 Darling, calm down. Why do you need a lawyer? 165 00:10:07,114 --> 00:10:08,945 Haven't you your little Volga boatman? 166 00:10:12,187 --> 00:10:14,655 Very good, excellent, superb. 167 00:10:14,823 --> 00:10:17,656 It'd be foolish to belittle the quality of the merchandise... 168 00:10:17,726 --> 00:10:19,057 but your terms are impossible. 169 00:10:19,127 --> 00:10:20,856 My counteroffer is the absolute maximum. 170 00:10:20,929 --> 00:10:21,987 But Monsieur Mercier... 171 00:10:22,064 --> 00:10:24,498 Gentlemen, I'm going to let you in on a little secret. 172 00:10:24,566 --> 00:10:27,730 We are undertaking this deal only because of the prestige involved. 173 00:10:27,804 --> 00:10:29,965 And, frankly, we're expected to take a loss. 174 00:10:30,206 --> 00:10:32,037 Capitalistic methods. 175 00:10:32,108 --> 00:10:34,975 They accumulate millions by taking loss after loss. 176 00:10:37,480 --> 00:10:39,949 This is Buljanoff, Iranoff, and Kopalski. 177 00:10:40,784 --> 00:10:42,911 Who? Count d'Algout? 178 00:10:43,554 --> 00:10:45,419 No, that must be a mistake. 179 00:10:45,856 --> 00:10:47,721 No, we can't be disturbed. 180 00:10:47,791 --> 00:10:50,954 I assure you no one else can meet the figure named by my syndicate. 181 00:10:51,028 --> 00:10:52,962 At least not under these economic conditions. 182 00:10:53,030 --> 00:10:54,019 We can wait. 183 00:10:54,098 --> 00:10:56,966 Do we give the impression of people who are pressed for money? 184 00:10:57,035 --> 00:10:58,059 Yes. 185 00:10:58,136 --> 00:11:00,070 Gentlemen, let's put our cards on the table. 186 00:11:00,138 --> 00:11:02,572 Right now, there's a Russian commission in New York... 187 00:11:02,641 --> 00:11:03,869 trying to sell 15 Rembrandts. 188 00:11:03,942 --> 00:11:06,376 Another in London mortgaging the oil fields in Baku. 189 00:11:06,444 --> 00:11:07,843 You need money, and quickly. 190 00:11:07,912 --> 00:11:11,872 My offer is a very fair one, and doesn't even take advantage of your situation. 191 00:11:12,451 --> 00:11:13,713 Just a minute. 192 00:11:18,591 --> 00:11:20,752 - Now, listen. - We have just a minute. 193 00:11:21,694 --> 00:11:25,995 - The pieces are all registered. - I know. Thank you so much. 194 00:11:27,734 --> 00:11:30,931 - He's cutting our throat. - What can we do? We have to accept. 195 00:11:31,004 --> 00:11:33,564 Comrades, don't let's give in so quickly. 196 00:11:33,640 --> 00:11:36,438 After all, we have to uphold the prestige of Russia. 197 00:11:36,510 --> 00:11:39,674 All right, let's uphold it for another 10 minutes. 198 00:11:46,020 --> 00:11:49,183 - We don't want to be disturbed. - My name is d'Algout. I telephoned. 199 00:11:49,257 --> 00:11:51,248 If you want to see us, you must come in later. 200 00:11:51,325 --> 00:11:53,419 - Just a word with Mercier. - You can't come in. 201 00:11:53,495 --> 00:11:56,225 Monsieur Mercier, may I introduce myself? I'm Leon d'Algout. 202 00:11:56,298 --> 00:11:58,892 I had the pleasure of meeting you in your beautiful shop. 203 00:11:58,967 --> 00:12:01,697 I was admiring the platinum watch with the diamond numbers. 204 00:12:01,770 --> 00:12:04,204 - Yes, of course. - You remember, I... 205 00:12:05,474 --> 00:12:06,668 Glorious, aren't they? 206 00:12:06,742 --> 00:12:09,473 - You have no right. - I did not permit you to come in here. 207 00:12:09,546 --> 00:12:11,878 Just a moment. I hope you haven't closed this deal. 208 00:12:11,948 --> 00:12:15,111 - It may bring you serious trouble. - Who are you and what do you want? 209 00:12:15,185 --> 00:12:17,176 Those jewels belong to Grand Duchess Swana... 210 00:12:17,253 --> 00:12:19,551 and were seized illegally by the Soviet government. 211 00:12:19,622 --> 00:12:22,352 I am acting for Her Highness. Here is my power of attorney. 212 00:12:22,425 --> 00:12:24,724 You know, Monsieur Mercier, this is all nonsense. 213 00:12:24,795 --> 00:12:27,593 These may have been the jewels of the Grand Duchess Swana... 214 00:12:27,665 --> 00:12:30,725 but like all private property, they were confiscated by the State. 215 00:12:30,801 --> 00:12:33,395 We'll leave the problem of ownership to the French courts. 216 00:12:33,471 --> 00:12:35,996 Meanwhile, I have filed a petition for an injunction... 217 00:12:36,073 --> 00:12:38,941 to prohibit you from either selling or removing the jewels. 218 00:12:39,111 --> 00:12:40,669 Here is a copy. 219 00:12:41,446 --> 00:12:45,246 If there is anything which isn't clear, I shall be glad to explain it. 220 00:12:45,751 --> 00:12:46,809 Thank you. 221 00:12:47,119 --> 00:12:50,111 Gentlemen, this introduces a new element into our negotiations. 222 00:12:50,188 --> 00:12:53,454 - Until this claim is completely settled... - We can call our ambassador. 223 00:12:53,526 --> 00:12:55,756 I give you my word, they were confiscated legally. 224 00:12:55,828 --> 00:12:56,817 That's right. 225 00:12:56,896 --> 00:12:59,524 Hold on, gentlemen, please try to understand my position. 226 00:12:59,599 --> 00:13:01,533 I am not withdrawing. My offer stands. 227 00:13:01,601 --> 00:13:04,729 When you can produce a clear title approved by the French courts... 228 00:13:04,804 --> 00:13:06,135 we can close the deal. 229 00:13:06,205 --> 00:13:08,265 Until then, gentlemen, good day. 230 00:13:08,475 --> 00:13:11,000 I thought it my duty to warn you. I should have hated... 231 00:13:11,078 --> 00:13:12,511 - to see you in trouble. - Thank you. 232 00:13:12,579 --> 00:13:15,571 - I hope you will forgive me. - I consider myself very lucky. 233 00:13:15,649 --> 00:13:17,583 - Good day. - Good day, monsieur. 234 00:13:18,152 --> 00:13:20,245 You believe me, I... 235 00:13:20,320 --> 00:13:22,448 Gentlemen, how about a little lunch? 236 00:13:22,524 --> 00:13:24,458 - Will you get out of here! - Yes, get out. 237 00:13:24,526 --> 00:13:27,017 But don't look so gloomy. You may have a chance. 238 00:13:27,095 --> 00:13:29,154 - We may have a chance? - That's ridiculous. 239 00:13:29,230 --> 00:13:30,527 Yes, a very slim one. 240 00:13:30,598 --> 00:13:33,431 I want to be fair. I don't deny that you might have a case. 241 00:13:33,501 --> 00:13:36,733 We haven't anything to discuss with you. We'll talk to a lawyer. 242 00:13:36,806 --> 00:13:38,899 You talk to a lawyer and I'll talk to a judge. 243 00:13:38,974 --> 00:13:41,408 That won't help you. You can't intimidate us. 244 00:13:41,477 --> 00:13:44,002 Soviet Russia will put all its might behind this case. 245 00:13:44,079 --> 00:13:47,048 Yes. You think because you represent the former Grand Duchess... 246 00:13:47,116 --> 00:13:49,107 - The Grand Duchess. - The former Grand Duchess. 247 00:13:49,185 --> 00:13:51,984 At any rate, gentlemen, a charming, exquisite woman. 248 00:13:52,055 --> 00:13:55,889 I warn you, if this case comes to trial, it will be before a French court. 249 00:13:55,959 --> 00:13:58,120 And when the Grand Duchess takes the stand... 250 00:13:58,195 --> 00:14:01,255 Go ahead, get her on the witness stand. What can she say? 251 00:14:01,331 --> 00:14:03,196 But how will she look? 252 00:14:03,400 --> 00:14:05,733 The fashions this spring are very becoming to her. 253 00:14:05,803 --> 00:14:09,170 Gentlemen, the judge will be French, the jury will be French... 254 00:14:09,240 --> 00:14:11,470 everybody in the courtroom will be French. 255 00:14:11,542 --> 00:14:14,978 Have you seen a French court when a beautiful woman sits on the stand... 256 00:14:15,046 --> 00:14:17,105 and raises her skirt a little? 257 00:14:17,181 --> 00:14:20,583 You sit down and pull up your pants and where would it get you? 258 00:14:21,453 --> 00:14:24,479 I suppose you expect us to hand over the jewels? 259 00:14:24,556 --> 00:14:27,354 No, I'm not a highwayman, just a nuisance. 260 00:14:27,759 --> 00:14:30,353 All I want to do is make things as difficult as possible. 261 00:14:30,429 --> 00:14:34,661 Not that we are giving in one inch, but tell us what is in your mind? 262 00:14:34,733 --> 00:14:35,826 Yeah. 263 00:14:35,902 --> 00:14:38,097 - What about my proposition? - What proposition? 264 00:14:38,171 --> 00:14:39,934 I just said, let's have some lunch. 265 00:16:05,864 --> 00:16:07,855 Hey, Sasha, Sergei, Misha. 266 00:16:08,467 --> 00:16:09,991 What? What do you want? 267 00:16:10,069 --> 00:16:11,093 What can we do for you? 268 00:16:11,170 --> 00:16:13,832 That telegram from Moscow, why should you bother about it? 269 00:16:13,906 --> 00:16:16,602 - I've written it for you. - Leon, Leonitchka. 270 00:16:16,675 --> 00:16:19,042 Why are you so good to us? 271 00:16:20,513 --> 00:16:22,777 That's very nice, boys. Now, wait a minute. 272 00:16:22,849 --> 00:16:25,477 What was the name of that Commissar of the Board of Trade? 273 00:16:25,552 --> 00:16:26,814 Razinin. 274 00:16:26,886 --> 00:16:28,945 Commissar Razinin, Board of Trade, Moscow. 275 00:16:29,022 --> 00:16:31,786 - You wouldn't like Razinin. - No, he's a bad man. 276 00:16:31,858 --> 00:16:34,657 - He sends people to Siberia. - We don't like Razinin. 277 00:16:34,729 --> 00:16:36,287 - No. - We don't like him. 278 00:16:36,364 --> 00:16:38,195 We like Leon. Don't we like Leon? 279 00:16:38,332 --> 00:16:39,492 Yes! 280 00:16:42,370 --> 00:16:43,997 Wait a minute. 281 00:16:44,071 --> 00:16:45,504 Now wait a minute, how's this? 282 00:16:45,573 --> 00:16:49,806 "Commissar Razinin, Board of Trade, Moscow. Unexpected situation here. 283 00:16:49,878 --> 00:16:52,108 "Grand Duchess Swana in Paris, claims jewels... 284 00:16:52,180 --> 00:16:55,047 "and has already brought injunction against sale or removal. 285 00:16:55,117 --> 00:16:57,483 "After long and serious study... 286 00:16:57,552 --> 00:17:00,248 "we suggest in the interest of our beloved country... 287 00:17:00,322 --> 00:17:02,348 "a 50-50 settlement as best solution. 288 00:17:02,425 --> 00:17:04,325 "Iranoff, Buljanoff, and Kopalski. " 289 00:17:04,394 --> 00:17:06,954 If we say that, we'll all be sent to Siberia. 290 00:17:07,030 --> 00:17:09,794 - And if we have to go to Siberia... - I will send you a muff. 291 00:17:09,866 --> 00:17:12,266 Leon, why are you so good to us? 292 00:17:15,438 --> 00:17:17,134 Comrade waiter! 293 00:17:20,444 --> 00:17:22,503 Why are you so good to us? 294 00:17:24,915 --> 00:17:27,008 Get the champagne to the other room. 295 00:17:27,084 --> 00:17:29,052 That's enough. Go along. 296 00:17:29,319 --> 00:17:32,346 - Take this to the telegraph office at once. - Yes, monsieur. 297 00:17:47,473 --> 00:17:50,772 Hello. Yes, Leon. What is it, Leon? 298 00:17:51,677 --> 00:17:55,340 You can't hurry such things. You must give Moscow a little time. 299 00:17:55,414 --> 00:17:57,211 There's nothing we can do about it. 300 00:17:57,283 --> 00:17:58,750 Why don't you drop in later? 301 00:17:58,818 --> 00:18:00,308 Yes. Au revoir. 302 00:18:01,488 --> 00:18:02,546 What's the matter? 303 00:18:02,622 --> 00:18:05,523 This is a telegram from Moscow. It must have been here all day. 304 00:18:05,592 --> 00:18:07,184 "Halt negotiations immediately. 305 00:18:07,260 --> 00:18:11,196 "Envoy Extraordinary arrives Thursday 5:20 p. m. With full power. 306 00:18:11,264 --> 00:18:14,062 "Your authority cancelled herewith. Razinin. " 307 00:18:14,134 --> 00:18:16,228 - It is Thursday. - It's 5:00 already. 308 00:18:16,304 --> 00:18:18,397 I always said it would be Siberia. 309 00:18:22,343 --> 00:18:24,072 Give me the desk, please. 310 00:18:24,245 --> 00:18:26,713 This is this is the Royal Suite, Iranoff speaking. 311 00:18:26,781 --> 00:18:29,272 Listen, a special envoy is coming from Moscow today. 312 00:18:29,350 --> 00:18:30,818 He'll occupy the Royal Suite. 313 00:18:30,886 --> 00:18:33,446 Move our things to the smallest room you've got. 314 00:18:33,522 --> 00:18:35,615 Yes. Right away, instantly. 315 00:18:39,428 --> 00:18:40,656 Pass, please. 316 00:18:45,702 --> 00:18:48,432 Now this is a fine thing. Maybe we've missed him already. 317 00:18:48,505 --> 00:18:51,406 How can we find somebody without knowing what he looks like? 318 00:18:58,348 --> 00:18:59,714 That must be the one. 319 00:19:01,152 --> 00:19:03,347 Yes, he looks like a comrade. 320 00:19:09,693 --> 00:19:11,126 Heil Hitler. 321 00:19:13,063 --> 00:19:15,658 - No, that's not him. - Positively not. 322 00:19:15,734 --> 00:19:18,635 - What are we going to do now? - I don't know. 323 00:19:21,873 --> 00:19:23,807 We must have missed him. 324 00:19:35,621 --> 00:19:37,646 I'm looking for Michael Simonovitch Iranoff. 325 00:19:37,723 --> 00:19:39,190 I am Michael Simonovitch Iranoff. 326 00:19:39,258 --> 00:19:41,749 I am Nina Ivanovna Yakushova, Envoy Extraordinary... 327 00:19:41,827 --> 00:19:44,592 acting under direct orders of Comrade Commissar Razinin. 328 00:19:44,665 --> 00:19:46,565 Present me to your colleagues. 329 00:19:46,633 --> 00:19:48,066 - Comrade Buljanoff. - Comrade. 330 00:19:48,135 --> 00:19:49,830 - Comrade Kopalski. - Comrade. 331 00:19:50,337 --> 00:19:53,465 What a charming idea for Moscow to surprise us with a lady comrade. 332 00:19:53,540 --> 00:19:56,134 If we had known, we would have greeted you with flowers. 333 00:19:56,210 --> 00:19:58,337 Don't make an issue of my womanhood. 334 00:19:58,412 --> 00:20:02,144 We are here for work, all of us. Let's not waste any time. Shall we go? 335 00:20:02,217 --> 00:20:03,582 Porter, here, please. 336 00:20:04,752 --> 00:20:05,912 What do you want? 337 00:20:05,987 --> 00:20:08,046 - May I have your bags, Madame? - Why? 338 00:20:08,122 --> 00:20:10,920 - He is a porter, he wants to carry them. - Why? 339 00:20:11,292 --> 00:20:13,123 Why should you carry other people's bags? 340 00:20:13,195 --> 00:20:14,662 That's my business, Madame. 341 00:20:14,730 --> 00:20:17,528 That's no business. That's social injustice. 342 00:20:17,600 --> 00:20:18,828 That depends on the tip. 343 00:20:18,901 --> 00:20:21,028 - Allow me, comrade. - No, thank you. 344 00:20:22,638 --> 00:20:24,128 Ticket, please. 345 00:20:25,774 --> 00:20:28,300 - How are things in Moscow? - Very good. 346 00:20:28,445 --> 00:20:31,346 The last mass trials were a great success. 347 00:20:31,414 --> 00:20:34,212 There are going to be fewer but better Russians. 348 00:20:42,292 --> 00:20:43,453 What's that? 349 00:20:43,928 --> 00:20:46,328 It's a hat, comrade. A woman's hat. 350 00:20:46,397 --> 00:20:48,228 How can such a civilization survive... 351 00:20:48,299 --> 00:20:51,427 which permits their women to put things like that on their heads? 352 00:20:51,869 --> 00:20:53,837 It won't be long now, comrades. 353 00:20:56,173 --> 00:21:00,042 This is the apartment we have reserved for you, Comrade Yakushova. 354 00:21:00,279 --> 00:21:01,610 I hope you like it. 355 00:21:04,082 --> 00:21:06,141 Which part of the room is mine? 356 00:21:08,820 --> 00:21:11,448 You see, comrade, it's a little different here. 357 00:21:11,523 --> 00:21:15,483 They don't rent rooms in pieces. We had to take the whole suite. 358 00:21:29,543 --> 00:21:32,011 - How much does this cost? - 2,000 francs. 359 00:21:32,079 --> 00:21:33,774 - A week? - A day. 360 00:21:34,481 --> 00:21:37,143 Do you know how much a cow costs, Comrade Iranoff? 361 00:21:37,217 --> 00:21:39,913 - A cow? - 2,000 francs. 362 00:21:40,287 --> 00:21:44,884 If I stay here a week, I will cost the Russian people seven cows. 363 00:21:45,894 --> 00:21:48,988 Who am I to cost the Russian people seven cows? 364 00:21:49,064 --> 00:21:51,191 We had to take it on account of the safe. 365 00:21:51,266 --> 00:21:53,325 For ourselves, we are much happier now... 366 00:21:53,401 --> 00:21:57,168 since we moved to a little room right next to the servants' quarters. 367 00:21:57,239 --> 00:22:00,333 I'm ashamed to put a picture of Lenin in a room like this. 368 00:22:00,409 --> 00:22:02,707 - Do you want to be alone, comrade? - No. 369 00:22:05,815 --> 00:22:08,943 Comrades, your telegram was received with great disfavor in Moscow. 370 00:22:09,018 --> 00:22:10,280 We did our best, comrade. 371 00:22:10,353 --> 00:22:13,517 I hope so, for your sake. Let's examine the case. 372 00:22:13,824 --> 00:22:16,019 - What does the lawyer say? - Which lawyer? 373 00:22:16,460 --> 00:22:18,553 You didn't get legal advice? 374 00:22:18,628 --> 00:22:21,597 We dealt directly with the representative of the Grand Duchess. 375 00:22:21,665 --> 00:22:24,691 I am sure if you call him, he will give you a very clear picture. 376 00:22:24,768 --> 00:22:26,396 I will not repeat your mistake. 377 00:22:26,471 --> 00:22:29,907 I will have no dealings with the Grand Duchess nor her representative. 378 00:22:35,513 --> 00:22:38,175 - Comrade Buljanoff? - Yes, comrade? 379 00:22:38,916 --> 00:22:41,545 Do you spell Buljanoff with one or two "F's"? 380 00:22:42,955 --> 00:22:45,389 With two "F's," if you please. 381 00:22:50,729 --> 00:22:52,196 Have you some cigarettes? 382 00:22:56,035 --> 00:22:59,698 This is the Royal Suite. Please send up some cigarettes. Yes. 383 00:23:01,574 --> 00:23:03,735 You just telephone and you get what you want. 384 00:23:03,810 --> 00:23:05,801 That's the capitalistic system. 385 00:23:06,713 --> 00:23:09,615 Comrades, I am not in a position to pass final judgment. 386 00:23:09,683 --> 00:23:12,584 But at best, you've been careless in your duty to the State. 387 00:23:12,653 --> 00:23:15,816 You were entrusted with more than a mere sale of jewelry. 388 00:23:16,424 --> 00:23:20,087 Why are we peddling our precious possessions to the world at this time? 389 00:23:20,161 --> 00:23:22,959 Our next year's crop is in danger and you know it. 390 00:23:23,564 --> 00:23:26,534 Unless we can get foreign currency to buy tractors... 391 00:23:26,902 --> 00:23:29,166 there will not be enough bread for our people. 392 00:23:29,237 --> 00:23:32,172 - And you, comrades... - We did it with the best intentions. 393 00:23:32,240 --> 00:23:35,141 We can't feed the Russian people on your intentions. 394 00:23:35,343 --> 00:23:38,335 Fifty percent to a so-called Grand Duchess. 395 00:23:38,680 --> 00:23:41,411 Half of every loaf of bread to our enemy. 396 00:23:41,484 --> 00:23:43,076 - Comrade Kopalski. - Yes, comrade. 397 00:23:43,152 --> 00:23:46,815 Go at once to our embassy and get me the address of the best lawyer in Paris. 398 00:23:46,889 --> 00:23:47,913 Yes, comrade. 399 00:23:47,990 --> 00:23:49,981 Comrade Iranoff, go to the public library... 400 00:23:50,059 --> 00:23:52,550 and get me the section of the Civil Code on property. 401 00:23:52,628 --> 00:23:55,496 - Is there anything I can do, comrade? - Yes. 402 00:23:55,799 --> 00:23:58,324 You might get me an accurate map of Paris. 403 00:23:58,402 --> 00:24:01,462 I want to use my spare time to inspect public utilities... 404 00:24:01,538 --> 00:24:05,099 and to make a study of all outstanding technical achievements in the city. 405 00:24:05,175 --> 00:24:06,403 Yes, comrade. 406 00:24:07,644 --> 00:24:08,634 Come in. 407 00:24:10,882 --> 00:24:13,214 - Hello. Cigarettes? - Hello. 408 00:24:20,558 --> 00:24:23,687 Comrades, you must have been smoking a lot. 409 00:24:28,167 --> 00:24:29,156 Desk. 410 00:24:29,502 --> 00:24:31,197 Yes, Monsieur Kopalski. 411 00:24:31,270 --> 00:24:33,329 You are expecting Count d'Algout? 412 00:24:33,405 --> 00:24:36,340 But he is not to go to the Royal Suite under any circumstances. 413 00:24:36,408 --> 00:24:38,604 He should go to your new room, 985. 414 00:24:38,678 --> 00:24:40,077 Thank you, monsieur. 415 00:25:02,303 --> 00:25:03,702 You, please. 416 00:25:04,205 --> 00:25:05,194 Me? 417 00:25:05,273 --> 00:25:07,401 Could you give me some information? 418 00:25:07,476 --> 00:25:08,602 Gladly. 419 00:25:09,211 --> 00:25:11,270 How long must we wait here? 420 00:25:11,480 --> 00:25:14,643 Well, until the policeman blows his whistle again. 421 00:25:14,750 --> 00:25:17,378 - At what intervals does he whistle? - What? 422 00:25:17,753 --> 00:25:20,950 How many minutes between the first and second whistle? 423 00:25:22,225 --> 00:25:24,853 That's very funny. I never thought of that before. 424 00:25:24,928 --> 00:25:27,396 You've never been caught in a similar situation? 425 00:25:27,463 --> 00:25:30,864 Yes, I have. Now that I come to think about it, it's staggering. 426 00:25:30,934 --> 00:25:34,461 Good heavens, if I add it up, I must have spent years waiting for signals. 427 00:25:34,537 --> 00:25:37,871 Imagine, an important part of my life wasted between whistles. 428 00:25:37,942 --> 00:25:40,001 - In other words, you don't know? - No. 429 00:25:40,077 --> 00:25:42,875 - Thank you. - You're welcome. 430 00:26:01,166 --> 00:26:02,929 Can I be of any assistance to you? 431 00:26:03,001 --> 00:26:05,128 - You might hold this for me. - I'd love to. 432 00:26:05,303 --> 00:26:07,067 Correct me if I am wrong. 433 00:26:07,139 --> 00:26:10,199 - We are facing north, aren't we? - Facing north? 434 00:26:11,210 --> 00:26:14,145 I would hate to commit myself without my compass. 435 00:26:14,847 --> 00:26:18,840 - Pardon me, are you an explorer? - No, I am looking for the Eiffel Tower. 436 00:26:18,918 --> 00:26:21,285 Good heavens, is that thing lost again? 437 00:26:22,522 --> 00:26:24,285 Are you interested in a view? 438 00:26:24,358 --> 00:26:27,350 I'm interested in the Eiffel Tower from a technical standpoint. 439 00:26:27,427 --> 00:26:28,689 Technical? 440 00:26:28,762 --> 00:26:31,424 No, I'm afraid I couldn't be of much help from that angle. 441 00:26:31,498 --> 00:26:34,865 A Parisian only goes to the Tower in moments of despair to jump off. 442 00:26:34,935 --> 00:26:37,131 How long does it take a man to land? 443 00:26:38,673 --> 00:26:42,700 Now isn't that too bad? The last time I jumped, I forgot to time it. 444 00:26:42,777 --> 00:26:45,337 Let me see now, the Eiffel Tower... 445 00:26:46,514 --> 00:26:47,981 Your finger, please. 446 00:26:48,282 --> 00:26:49,977 Why do you need my finger? 447 00:26:50,118 --> 00:26:52,519 It's bad manners to point with your own. 448 00:26:54,256 --> 00:26:56,247 There, the Eiffel Tower. 449 00:26:56,325 --> 00:26:57,758 And where are we? 450 00:26:57,826 --> 00:27:00,124 Where are we? Now, let me see. 451 00:27:00,195 --> 00:27:01,560 Here we are. 452 00:27:01,697 --> 00:27:03,858 There you are and here am I. 453 00:27:04,500 --> 00:27:05,593 Feel it? 454 00:27:05,669 --> 00:27:09,435 I'm interested only in the shortest distance between these two points. 455 00:27:09,506 --> 00:27:12,475 - Must you flirt? - Well, I don't have to but I find it natural. 456 00:27:12,542 --> 00:27:15,102 - Suppress it. - I'll try. 457 00:27:15,178 --> 00:27:16,440 For my own information... 458 00:27:16,513 --> 00:27:19,950 would you call your approach toward me typical of the local morale? 459 00:27:20,017 --> 00:27:22,645 It is that approach which has made Paris what it is. 460 00:27:22,720 --> 00:27:24,551 You're very sure of yourself, aren't you? 461 00:27:24,622 --> 00:27:27,182 Nothing's happened recently to shake my self-confidence. 462 00:27:27,258 --> 00:27:30,785 I have heard of the arrogant male in capitalistic society. 463 00:27:30,861 --> 00:27:34,491 It is having a superior earning power that makes you that way. 464 00:27:34,566 --> 00:27:37,660 A Russian. I love Russians. 465 00:27:37,869 --> 00:27:42,306 Comrade, I've been fascinated by your Five-Year Plan for the last 15 years. 466 00:27:42,374 --> 00:27:44,865 Your type will soon be extinct. 467 00:27:49,382 --> 00:27:50,508 Taxi! 468 00:28:14,842 --> 00:28:17,140 Can you tell me the exact width of the foundation... 469 00:28:17,211 --> 00:28:19,305 on which these piers are resting, and the depth? 470 00:28:19,380 --> 00:28:21,280 You don't have to worry. The thing is safe. 471 00:28:21,349 --> 00:28:24,580 - I am not afraid... - "The foundation is 141 yards square. " 472 00:28:24,786 --> 00:28:27,721 - I hope you'll forgive me but I thought... - Go on. 473 00:28:27,789 --> 00:28:30,815 "Four massive pieces of masonry are sunk to a depth of 46 feet... 474 00:28:30,892 --> 00:28:33,657 "on the side of the Seine, and 29.5 feet on the other side. 475 00:28:33,729 --> 00:28:36,630 "The girders of interlaced ironwork, which stay the structure... 476 00:28:36,699 --> 00:28:38,564 "have an inclination of 54 degrees. " 477 00:28:38,634 --> 00:28:41,068 - That's a strange angle. - Yes, that's very strange. 478 00:28:41,137 --> 00:28:44,629 "Ascending to the first platform is a staircase consisting of... 479 00:28:44,707 --> 00:28:47,505 "829 steps. " 480 00:28:49,312 --> 00:28:52,713 "And an additional 254 steps to the very top. 481 00:28:53,683 --> 00:28:56,277 "There's an elevator included in the price of admission. " 482 00:28:57,487 --> 00:28:59,148 It'll take you hours to walk up there. 483 00:28:59,222 --> 00:29:01,554 The elevator will get you up in three minutes. 484 00:29:32,025 --> 00:29:35,222 You gave me some very valuable information. Thank you. 485 00:29:36,563 --> 00:29:40,363 Thank you for getting me up here. I've never seen this before. 486 00:29:41,467 --> 00:29:43,560 - Beautiful, isn't it? - Yes, it is. 487 00:29:44,404 --> 00:29:46,896 I'm glad I saw it before becoming extinct. 488 00:29:47,374 --> 00:29:51,242 Now don't misunderstand me. I do not hold your frivolity against you. 489 00:29:51,645 --> 00:29:54,273 As basic material, you may not be bad. 490 00:29:54,348 --> 00:29:57,476 But you are the unfortunate product of a doomed culture. 491 00:29:57,551 --> 00:29:59,280 I feel very sorry for you. 492 00:29:59,653 --> 00:30:02,851 But you must admit that this doomed old civilization sparkles. 493 00:30:02,924 --> 00:30:04,949 Look at it. It glitters. 494 00:30:05,293 --> 00:30:09,354 I do not deny its beauty, but it's a waste of electricity. 495 00:30:09,431 --> 00:30:10,796 What a city. 496 00:30:10,966 --> 00:30:14,424 There are the grand boulevards blasted out of the heart of the old city. 497 00:30:14,502 --> 00:30:17,267 The Arc de Triomphe, built to greet Napoleon's army. 498 00:30:17,340 --> 00:30:19,900 The Opera. Montparnasse. Montmartre. 499 00:30:21,811 --> 00:30:25,508 And now, I'll show you the greatest attraction of all. 500 00:30:26,249 --> 00:30:28,547 It'll cost me a franc, but it's worth it. 501 00:30:29,018 --> 00:30:31,988 The most unique spot in all Paris. Really, I'm not exaggerating. 502 00:30:32,055 --> 00:30:34,250 It's wonderful. It's charming. It's... 503 00:30:34,892 --> 00:30:35,881 Please. 504 00:30:39,529 --> 00:30:40,962 What do you see? 505 00:30:41,398 --> 00:30:44,561 I see a house. Looks like any other house. 506 00:30:45,002 --> 00:30:47,836 - What's remarkable about it? - It's not the structure. 507 00:30:47,906 --> 00:30:49,999 It's the spirit that dwells within it. 508 00:30:50,074 --> 00:30:53,475 It has three rooms and a kitchenette dedicated to hospitality. 509 00:30:53,578 --> 00:30:56,308 - So it's your house? - Let's say I live in it. 510 00:30:57,448 --> 00:31:00,816 It's such a pleasant little place. It has all the comforts. 511 00:31:00,886 --> 00:31:03,320 Easy to reach, near the subway, bus, and streetcar... 512 00:31:03,389 --> 00:31:06,984 - Does it mean you want me to go there? - Please, don't misunderstand me. 513 00:31:07,059 --> 00:31:09,323 - Then you don't want me to go there? - No. 514 00:31:09,395 --> 00:31:11,920 I didn't say that either. Nothing would please me more. 515 00:31:11,997 --> 00:31:13,521 Then why don't we go? 516 00:31:14,066 --> 00:31:16,968 You might be an interesting subject of study. 517 00:31:18,338 --> 00:31:19,669 I'll do my best. 518 00:31:27,113 --> 00:31:29,206 - Good evening, Gaston. - Good evening, monsieur. 519 00:31:29,282 --> 00:31:31,615 - Is this what you call the "butler"? - Yes. 520 00:31:31,686 --> 00:31:33,278 Good evening, comrade. 521 00:31:33,621 --> 00:31:36,784 This man is very old. You shouldn't make him work. 522 00:31:36,857 --> 00:31:38,188 He takes good care of that. 523 00:31:38,259 --> 00:31:40,284 He looks sad. Do you whip him? 524 00:31:40,361 --> 00:31:42,420 No, but the mere thought makes my mouth water. 525 00:31:42,496 --> 00:31:44,897 The day will come when you will be free. 526 00:31:44,967 --> 00:31:47,959 Go to bed, little father. We want to be alone. 527 00:31:48,904 --> 00:31:49,962 Please. 528 00:31:51,273 --> 00:31:53,798 Count d'Algout, there have been several telephone calls. 529 00:31:53,875 --> 00:31:55,604 Go to bed, little father. 530 00:32:12,428 --> 00:32:15,557 - Now, may I offer you a drink? - Thank you, I'm not thirsty. 531 00:32:15,632 --> 00:32:16,792 Perhaps something to eat. 532 00:32:16,867 --> 00:32:19,563 I've had all the calories necessary for today. 533 00:32:19,636 --> 00:32:21,035 Yes, all the calories. 534 00:32:21,105 --> 00:32:22,595 What do we do now? 535 00:32:24,274 --> 00:32:26,902 - Shall we have some music? - Is that customary? 536 00:32:28,245 --> 00:32:29,440 It helps. 537 00:32:29,814 --> 00:32:33,011 It has ever since King David wooed Bathsheba with his harp. 538 00:32:33,084 --> 00:32:36,918 Not being so fortunate as to have my harp at hand, I'll turn on the radio. 539 00:32:47,099 --> 00:32:49,659 If there's anything you'd like to study, please go ahead. 540 00:32:49,735 --> 00:32:50,963 I've nothing to conceal. 541 00:32:51,037 --> 00:32:54,165 This is my desk, these are my books, and here am I. 542 00:32:54,240 --> 00:32:55,673 Where shall we begin? 543 00:32:55,741 --> 00:32:57,869 - I will start with you. - Excellent. 544 00:32:58,278 --> 00:33:01,679 Let's see, I'm 35 years old, just over 6 feet tall... 545 00:33:01,748 --> 00:33:03,841 and weigh 182 pounds, stripped. 546 00:33:03,917 --> 00:33:05,612 What is your profession? 547 00:33:06,253 --> 00:33:07,515 My profession? 548 00:33:08,555 --> 00:33:10,853 Keeping my body fit, keeping my mind alert... 549 00:33:10,924 --> 00:33:13,553 and keeping the landlord appeased, that's a full-time job. 550 00:33:13,628 --> 00:33:15,425 And what do you do for mankind? 551 00:33:15,897 --> 00:33:17,125 For mankind? 552 00:33:17,799 --> 00:33:20,700 Yes, not so much for mankind. 553 00:33:21,903 --> 00:33:24,736 But for womankind, my record isn't quite so bleak. 554 00:33:25,239 --> 00:33:27,731 You are something we do not have in Russia. 555 00:33:27,976 --> 00:33:29,876 Thank you. Glad you told me. 556 00:33:29,945 --> 00:33:32,778 That's why I believe in the future of my country. 557 00:33:37,419 --> 00:33:40,479 I'm beginning to believe in it myself since I've met you. 558 00:33:41,490 --> 00:33:44,085 I still don't quite know what it's all about. 559 00:33:44,461 --> 00:33:47,021 It confuses me, frightens me. 560 00:33:48,598 --> 00:33:50,395 But it fascinates me. 561 00:33:51,501 --> 00:33:52,900 Ninotchka... 562 00:33:53,970 --> 00:33:56,029 do you like me just a little bit? 563 00:33:56,439 --> 00:33:59,341 Your general appearance is not distasteful. 564 00:34:00,444 --> 00:34:01,809 Thank you. 565 00:34:02,379 --> 00:34:04,472 The whites of your eyes are clear. 566 00:34:04,982 --> 00:34:07,473 Your cornea is excellent. 567 00:34:10,154 --> 00:34:11,952 Your cornea is terrific. 568 00:34:13,492 --> 00:34:16,552 Ninotchka, tell me. You're so expert on things. 569 00:34:17,262 --> 00:34:19,526 Can it be that I'm falling in love with you? 570 00:34:19,598 --> 00:34:21,759 Why must you bring in wrong values? 571 00:34:22,100 --> 00:34:25,900 Love is a romantic designation for a most ordinary biological... 572 00:34:25,972 --> 00:34:27,940 or shall we say "chemical," process. 573 00:34:28,007 --> 00:34:30,601 A lot of nonsense is talked and written about it. 574 00:34:30,676 --> 00:34:31,836 I see. 575 00:34:32,345 --> 00:34:34,040 What do you use instead? 576 00:34:34,113 --> 00:34:38,140 I acknowledge the existence of a natural impulse common to all. 577 00:34:39,285 --> 00:34:42,312 What can I possibly do to encourage such an impulse in you? 578 00:34:42,389 --> 00:34:44,289 You don't have to do a thing. 579 00:34:44,658 --> 00:34:47,252 Chemically, we are already quite sympathetic. 580 00:34:48,762 --> 00:34:51,356 You are the most incredible creature I've ever met. 581 00:34:51,431 --> 00:34:53,331 Ninotchka. 582 00:34:53,467 --> 00:34:55,094 You repeat yourself. 583 00:34:55,269 --> 00:34:57,738 Yes, I'd like to say it 1,000 times. 584 00:34:58,339 --> 00:35:00,705 You must forgive me if I seem a little old-fashioned. 585 00:35:00,775 --> 00:35:02,208 After all, I'm just a poor bourgeois. 586 00:35:02,544 --> 00:35:04,444 It's never too late to change. 587 00:35:04,512 --> 00:35:06,912 I used to belong to the petite bourgeoisie myself. 588 00:35:06,981 --> 00:35:08,005 No. 589 00:35:08,082 --> 00:35:10,847 My father and mother wanted me to stay and work on the farm. 590 00:35:10,920 --> 00:35:12,387 But I preferred the bayonet. 591 00:35:12,454 --> 00:35:14,422 The bayonet? Did you really? 592 00:35:14,490 --> 00:35:17,425 - I was wounded before Warsaw. - Wounded, how? 593 00:35:17,493 --> 00:35:20,485 I was a sergeant in the Third Cavalry Brigade. 594 00:35:20,796 --> 00:35:22,593 Would you like to see my wound? 595 00:35:24,633 --> 00:35:26,033 I'd love to. 596 00:35:31,107 --> 00:35:33,735 A Polish lancer. I was 16. 597 00:35:33,810 --> 00:35:36,335 Poor Ninotchka. 598 00:35:36,580 --> 00:35:40,984 Don't pity me. Pity the Polish lancer. After all, I'm still alive. 599 00:35:42,386 --> 00:35:44,513 What kind of a girl are you, anyway? 600 00:35:44,589 --> 00:35:45,988 Just what you see. 601 00:35:46,357 --> 00:35:49,224 A tiny cog in the great wheel of evolution. 602 00:35:49,527 --> 00:35:52,052 You're the most adorable cog I've ever seen. 603 00:35:52,496 --> 00:35:54,829 Ninotchka, let me confess something. 604 00:35:54,900 --> 00:35:58,165 Never did I dream I could feel like this toward a sergeant. 605 00:36:01,473 --> 00:36:02,838 Do you hear that? 606 00:36:05,477 --> 00:36:08,310 - It's 12:00. - It's midnight. 607 00:36:08,447 --> 00:36:11,849 Look at the clock. One hand has met the other hand. They kiss. 608 00:36:11,918 --> 00:36:13,180 Isn't that wonderful? 609 00:36:13,253 --> 00:36:16,154 That's the way a clock works. What's wonderful about it? 610 00:36:16,222 --> 00:36:17,712 Ninotchka, it's midnight. 611 00:36:17,790 --> 00:36:20,759 One half of Paris is making love to the other half. 612 00:36:20,827 --> 00:36:23,523 You merely feel you must put yourself in a romantic mood... 613 00:36:23,597 --> 00:36:24,962 to add to your exhilaration. 614 00:36:25,032 --> 00:36:27,000 I can't possibly think of any better reason. 615 00:36:27,067 --> 00:36:28,432 That's false sentimentality. 616 00:36:28,502 --> 00:36:30,561 You analyze everything out of existence. 617 00:36:30,638 --> 00:36:33,300 You'd analyze me out of existence, but I won't let you. 618 00:36:33,374 --> 00:36:35,308 Love isn't so simple, Ninotchka. 619 00:36:35,376 --> 00:36:37,970 Ninotchka, why do doves bill and coo? 620 00:36:38,446 --> 00:36:41,279 Why do snails, the coldest of all creatures... 621 00:36:41,349 --> 00:36:43,977 circle interminably around each other? 622 00:36:44,185 --> 00:36:46,745 Why do moths fly hundreds of miles to find their mates? 623 00:36:46,821 --> 00:36:49,585 Why do flowers slowly open their petals? 624 00:36:49,958 --> 00:36:54,225 Ninotchka, surely you feel some slight symptom of the divine passion? 625 00:36:55,398 --> 00:36:57,923 A general warmth in the palms of your hands. 626 00:36:58,834 --> 00:37:01,268 A strange heaviness in your limbs. 627 00:37:02,004 --> 00:37:03,904 A burning of the lips that isn't thirst... 628 00:37:03,973 --> 00:37:08,035 but something 1,000 times more tantalizing, more exalting than thirst. 629 00:37:09,646 --> 00:37:11,546 You are very talkative. 630 00:37:21,024 --> 00:37:22,617 Was that talkative? 631 00:37:22,694 --> 00:37:24,992 No. That was restful. 632 00:37:25,930 --> 00:37:27,056 Again. 633 00:37:36,641 --> 00:37:37,973 Thank you. 634 00:37:38,944 --> 00:37:41,105 My barbaric Ninotchka... 635 00:37:41,313 --> 00:37:44,578 my impossible, unromantic, statistical... 636 00:37:53,326 --> 00:37:54,486 Again. 637 00:37:56,696 --> 00:37:58,960 - The telephone is ringing. - Let it ring. 638 00:37:59,032 --> 00:38:02,058 One of your friends may be in need of you. You must answer. 639 00:38:10,077 --> 00:38:11,237 Hello. 640 00:38:11,545 --> 00:38:13,240 Yes. What? 641 00:38:14,081 --> 00:38:16,208 Yes. Well, I'm sorry. I couldn't make it. 642 00:38:16,283 --> 00:38:18,774 No, I ran into an old friend from the army. 643 00:38:20,054 --> 00:38:21,215 What? 644 00:38:21,289 --> 00:38:23,723 The whole deal is off? Are you crazy, Buljanoff? 645 00:38:24,292 --> 00:38:26,283 A special envoy arrived. 646 00:38:27,295 --> 00:38:29,627 I'll be glad to see her whenever she wants to. 647 00:38:30,632 --> 00:38:32,429 She doesn't want to see me? 648 00:38:33,168 --> 00:38:35,068 What do you know about that? Why? 649 00:38:37,740 --> 00:38:40,334 I'll get in touch with her myself. What's her name? 650 00:38:42,912 --> 00:38:45,710 Good heavens, these Russian names. How do you spell it? 651 00:38:49,952 --> 00:38:51,978 Y- A... 652 00:38:53,390 --> 00:38:55,881 "Yakushova. " 653 00:38:56,226 --> 00:38:57,420 Thanks. 654 00:39:03,267 --> 00:39:06,760 Yakushova Ninotchka. 655 00:39:07,872 --> 00:39:09,567 Yes, all right, thank you. 656 00:39:20,719 --> 00:39:21,947 I must go. 657 00:39:22,021 --> 00:39:24,956 Or should I say "Special Envoy Yakushova"? 658 00:39:25,090 --> 00:39:28,491 - Let's forget we ever met. - No, I have a much better suggestion. 659 00:39:28,561 --> 00:39:32,190 Let's forget the telephone ever rang. I never heard that you are Yakushova. 660 00:39:32,264 --> 00:39:35,029 You are Ninotchka, my Ninotchka. 661 00:39:35,802 --> 00:39:37,895 I was sent here by my country to fight you. 662 00:39:37,971 --> 00:39:41,566 All right, fight me as much as you want, only fight me tomorrow morning. 663 00:39:41,641 --> 00:39:44,439 There's nothing sweeter than sharing a secret with an enemy. 664 00:39:44,511 --> 00:39:47,173 You represent White Russia and I represent Red Russia. 665 00:39:47,247 --> 00:39:49,478 Tonight let's not represent anybody but ourselves. 666 00:39:49,550 --> 00:39:50,676 It is out of the question. 667 00:39:50,751 --> 00:39:52,981 - Lf you wish to approach me... - You know I want to. 668 00:39:53,054 --> 00:39:54,749 Then do it through my lawyer. 669 00:39:55,256 --> 00:39:57,224 But Ninotchka, you can't walk out like this. 670 00:39:57,291 --> 00:39:58,588 I am crazy about you. 671 00:39:58,659 --> 00:40:02,026 I thought I'd made an impression on you. You liked the white of my eye. 672 00:40:02,096 --> 00:40:03,563 I must go. 673 00:40:05,300 --> 00:40:07,131 I held you in my arms. 674 00:40:07,870 --> 00:40:09,360 You kissed me. 675 00:40:10,439 --> 00:40:13,272 I kissed a Polish lancer, too... 676 00:40:14,243 --> 00:40:15,767 before he died. 677 00:40:25,989 --> 00:40:27,513 Yes, Marianne darling. 678 00:40:27,590 --> 00:40:30,320 No, you didn't waken me. I'm not only up, I'm on my way out. 679 00:40:30,393 --> 00:40:32,691 Yes, I want to catch Leon before he rushes out... 680 00:40:32,762 --> 00:40:34,924 and loses himself in my business affairs. 681 00:40:34,999 --> 00:40:37,399 Everything was going perfectly until three days ago... 682 00:40:37,468 --> 00:40:40,164 when some horrid female envoy arrived from Moscow. 683 00:40:40,237 --> 00:40:41,795 Now, we don't know where we are. 684 00:40:41,872 --> 00:40:44,466 I'll telephone you tonight, darling. Goodbye, dear. 685 00:40:45,509 --> 00:40:48,343 I seem to remember some additional injunctive provision... 686 00:40:48,413 --> 00:40:51,280 dealing with the property of foreigners residing in France. 687 00:40:51,349 --> 00:40:54,785 You are referring to Paragraph 59B, Section 25F of the Civil Code. 688 00:40:56,621 --> 00:40:58,714 Page 824. 689 00:40:59,791 --> 00:41:02,385 And do not fail to read the three footnotes. 690 00:41:02,460 --> 00:41:04,759 While you are studying it, I will eat. 691 00:41:20,948 --> 00:41:23,246 - Where to, Madame? - Can you recommend a restaurant? 692 00:41:23,317 --> 00:41:25,342 There's Grenier if you care for seafood. 693 00:41:25,419 --> 00:41:27,319 - Where do you eat? - At P�re Mathieu. 694 00:41:27,387 --> 00:41:29,514 - Where is that? - It's just a place for workmen. 695 00:41:29,590 --> 00:41:31,820 - Where is it? - Down eight blocks, rue de Provelles. 696 00:41:31,892 --> 00:41:32,951 Thank you. 697 00:41:48,711 --> 00:41:51,475 Are you alone, Madame? A nice little corner table? 698 00:41:51,547 --> 00:41:53,481 Or perhaps by the window would be better? 699 00:41:53,549 --> 00:41:55,176 This way, Madame. 700 00:42:01,657 --> 00:42:04,559 I think this is the first time you've been in my little place. 701 00:42:04,628 --> 00:42:06,186 Your face is new to me. 702 00:42:06,896 --> 00:42:08,329 Now what shall it be? 703 00:42:08,398 --> 00:42:10,263 Raw beets and carrots. 704 00:42:10,934 --> 00:42:13,198 Madame, this is a restaurant, not a meadow. 705 00:42:13,269 --> 00:42:15,134 Now, here's what we are offering today. 706 00:42:15,205 --> 00:42:16,297 Please make your choice. 707 00:42:16,373 --> 00:42:19,571 I'm sure you will find something to tempt your appetite. 708 00:42:32,157 --> 00:42:34,489 Well, for goodness' sake, hello. 709 00:42:34,626 --> 00:42:36,651 It certainly is a small world, isn't it? 710 00:42:39,531 --> 00:42:41,658 Well, Madame, shall we start with soup? 711 00:42:41,733 --> 00:42:42,791 Fish soup today. 712 00:42:42,868 --> 00:42:44,859 I got up at 5:00 to fish them from the Seine. 713 00:42:44,936 --> 00:42:47,497 - Crawfish soup for me. - Very well, monsieur. 714 00:42:47,573 --> 00:42:49,803 Then may I suggest an omelet with mushrooms? 715 00:42:49,876 --> 00:42:52,208 Bring me something simple. I never think about food. 716 00:42:52,278 --> 00:42:55,213 Madame, if you don't think about food, what do you think about? 717 00:42:55,281 --> 00:42:57,146 The future of the common people. 718 00:42:57,216 --> 00:42:59,377 That's also a question of food. 719 00:42:59,452 --> 00:43:02,980 I will bring you a nice little lunch, � la P�re Mathieu. 720 00:43:12,299 --> 00:43:13,664 May I say something? 721 00:43:13,734 --> 00:43:16,397 You insulted him, do you know that? You hurt his feelings. 722 00:43:16,471 --> 00:43:19,201 It's just like telling a musician that you don't like music. 723 00:43:19,274 --> 00:43:22,766 That good old man believes in food just as you believe in Karl Marx. 724 00:43:23,378 --> 00:43:26,836 You can't go around hurting people like that, Comrade Yakushova. 725 00:43:28,416 --> 00:43:30,510 But you can make it up to him. Do you know how? 726 00:43:30,586 --> 00:43:33,384 By eating everything that he brings you with relish... 727 00:43:33,456 --> 00:43:35,014 by drinking everything with gusto... 728 00:43:35,091 --> 00:43:37,924 by having a good time for the first time in your natural life. 729 00:43:37,993 --> 00:43:40,621 - I don't like you following me. - I didn't follow you. 730 00:43:40,696 --> 00:43:42,823 - How did you get here? - I always eat here. 731 00:43:42,898 --> 00:43:44,525 This is a place for working men. 732 00:43:44,600 --> 00:43:47,729 But my dear child, I am most at home among working men. 733 00:43:47,804 --> 00:43:51,467 I hate those places where you circulate, the Clarence Hotel and those places. 734 00:43:51,541 --> 00:43:53,236 This is my natural element. 735 00:43:53,310 --> 00:43:55,676 After all, what are any of us? Working men. 736 00:43:55,746 --> 00:43:58,078 At least, those of us who are worth our salt. 737 00:43:58,148 --> 00:43:59,514 - Hiya! - Hi. 738 00:44:02,620 --> 00:44:05,088 Hiya, boys. How's everything today? 739 00:44:05,156 --> 00:44:07,556 - Is the lunch all right? - Fine. 740 00:44:07,625 --> 00:44:09,149 - Pay our check. - Thank you, I will. 741 00:44:09,227 --> 00:44:10,455 Great bunch of fellows. 742 00:44:10,528 --> 00:44:12,496 My friend, I am happy to see you again. 743 00:44:12,563 --> 00:44:14,794 I'm always glad to meet a new customer. 744 00:44:14,867 --> 00:44:17,995 And I hope this first visit will not be your last one. 745 00:44:19,304 --> 00:44:21,204 He's just an old man. His memory is weak. 746 00:44:21,273 --> 00:44:23,002 What are you after? 747 00:44:23,108 --> 00:44:25,440 Must one always be after something? 748 00:44:25,511 --> 00:44:26,705 Your tactics are useless. 749 00:44:26,779 --> 00:44:29,248 I'm not Buljanoff, Iranoff, or Kopalski. 750 00:44:29,315 --> 00:44:31,476 Ninotchka, why must we talk business? 751 00:44:31,551 --> 00:44:34,349 If you win the suit, fine. If we win the suit, better. 752 00:44:34,420 --> 00:44:36,251 You do me an injustice. 753 00:44:36,689 --> 00:44:39,624 Ninotchka, when we first went to my apartment... 754 00:44:39,692 --> 00:44:42,957 did I have the slightest idea that you were connected with this deal? 755 00:44:43,029 --> 00:44:44,088 You know now. 756 00:44:44,165 --> 00:44:46,827 I know now that you're a man who employs business methods... 757 00:44:46,901 --> 00:44:49,426 which in Russia would be punished by death. 758 00:44:50,171 --> 00:44:52,765 Death, always so glum. 759 00:44:54,175 --> 00:44:57,667 What about life, Ninotchka? Do Russians never think about life? 760 00:44:57,745 --> 00:45:01,580 Of the moment in which we are living? The only moment we ever really have. 761 00:45:02,484 --> 00:45:05,749 Don't take things so seriously. Nothing's worth it, really. 762 00:45:06,388 --> 00:45:08,549 Please, relax. 763 00:45:09,024 --> 00:45:10,719 I beg you, Sergeant. 764 00:45:10,792 --> 00:45:12,817 - Smile. - What? 765 00:45:13,496 --> 00:45:15,521 - Will you smile? - Why? 766 00:45:16,499 --> 00:45:18,626 - Well, just smile. - At what? 767 00:45:18,968 --> 00:45:20,333 At anything. 768 00:45:20,403 --> 00:45:24,897 At the whole ridiculous spectacle of life, at people being so serious... 769 00:45:25,241 --> 00:45:28,905 taking themselves pompously, exaggerating their own importance. 770 00:45:28,979 --> 00:45:31,971 If you can't think of anything to laugh at, you can laugh at us. 771 00:45:32,049 --> 00:45:34,210 - Why? - Because we're an odd couple. 772 00:45:34,284 --> 00:45:36,377 Then you should go back to your table. 773 00:45:37,221 --> 00:45:39,246 No, I can't leave you. I won't, not yet. 774 00:45:39,323 --> 00:45:41,291 Not until I've made you laugh at least once. 775 00:45:42,560 --> 00:45:44,619 Now go back to your table. 776 00:45:44,929 --> 00:45:46,521 That's not a laugh. 777 00:45:46,598 --> 00:45:48,532 I mean a laugh from the heart. 778 00:45:49,033 --> 00:45:50,091 I know. 779 00:45:50,301 --> 00:45:51,859 I'm going to tell you a funny story. 780 00:45:51,936 --> 00:45:53,767 Wait a minute, let me think of one. 781 00:45:54,372 --> 00:45:55,737 I've got it. 782 00:45:56,441 --> 00:45:59,275 It seems that there were two Frenchmen who went to America... 783 00:45:59,345 --> 00:46:00,869 On which boat? 784 00:46:03,616 --> 00:46:04,844 Let's drop it. 785 00:46:05,050 --> 00:46:07,518 I don't think you'd care very much for that one anyway. 786 00:46:07,586 --> 00:46:08,814 Probably not. 787 00:46:10,823 --> 00:46:12,587 Here's a great one. 788 00:46:18,064 --> 00:46:20,430 Maybe it's not so good. Let's forget it. 789 00:46:22,035 --> 00:46:24,333 - Do you like Scotch stories? - Never heard one. 790 00:46:24,404 --> 00:46:25,769 Well, here. 791 00:46:25,939 --> 00:46:28,170 Two Scotchmen met on the street. 792 00:46:28,242 --> 00:46:30,437 And I don't know the name of the street. 793 00:46:30,511 --> 00:46:32,172 It doesn't matter anyway. 794 00:46:32,246 --> 00:46:35,374 One's name was McGillicuddy and the other one's name was McIntosh. 795 00:46:35,449 --> 00:46:38,316 McGillicuddy said to McIntosh, "Hello, Mr. McGillicuddy. " 796 00:46:38,386 --> 00:46:40,786 And McGillicuddy... McIntosh said to McGillicuddy: 797 00:46:40,855 --> 00:46:42,221 "Hello, Mr. McGillicuddy. " 798 00:46:42,291 --> 00:46:45,055 Then McGillicuddy said to McIntosh, "How is Mrs. McIntosh?" 799 00:46:45,127 --> 00:46:47,994 And McIntosh said to McGillicuddy, "How is Mrs. McGillicuddy?" 800 00:46:48,063 --> 00:46:49,690 I wish they'd never met. 801 00:46:51,266 --> 00:46:52,528 So do I. 802 00:46:54,403 --> 00:46:55,996 How is this one? 803 00:46:56,472 --> 00:46:59,873 Two men are looking at the moon. One of them says to the other: 804 00:46:59,943 --> 00:47:02,468 "Is it true that a lot of people live on the moon?" 805 00:47:02,545 --> 00:47:05,173 The other one says, "Sure it's true, about 500 million. " 806 00:47:05,248 --> 00:47:07,148 Then the first one says: 807 00:47:08,151 --> 00:47:11,383 "They must be pretty crowded when it's half-moon. " 808 00:47:17,962 --> 00:47:20,226 - So you don't think that's funny? - No. 809 00:47:21,065 --> 00:47:23,590 It seemed funny to me when I first heard it. 810 00:47:24,068 --> 00:47:26,867 Maybe the trouble isn't with the joke. Maybe it's with you. 811 00:47:26,938 --> 00:47:28,303 I don't think so. 812 00:47:29,441 --> 00:47:31,375 I'll give you one more chance. 813 00:47:32,143 --> 00:47:33,201 Here goes. 814 00:47:33,278 --> 00:47:35,906 When I first heard this joke, I laughed myself sick. 815 00:47:38,350 --> 00:47:39,476 Here goes. 816 00:47:39,551 --> 00:47:41,782 A man comes into a restaurant. 817 00:47:41,854 --> 00:47:44,049 He sits down at the table and he says, "Waiter... 818 00:47:44,123 --> 00:47:46,091 "bring me a cup of coffee without cream. " 819 00:47:46,158 --> 00:47:48,490 Five minutes later the waiter comes back and says... 820 00:47:48,561 --> 00:47:51,928 "I'm sorry, sir. We have no cream. Can it be without milk?" 821 00:47:55,268 --> 00:47:57,031 It's good, isn't it? 822 00:48:01,041 --> 00:48:02,804 - Not funny? - No. 823 00:48:03,076 --> 00:48:05,874 Well, it is funny! Everybody else thought it was funny! 824 00:48:06,713 --> 00:48:08,442 Maybe you didn't get the point. 825 00:48:09,116 --> 00:48:10,607 I'll tell it to you again. 826 00:48:10,685 --> 00:48:12,915 A man comes into a restaurant. 827 00:48:13,121 --> 00:48:14,349 - Did you get that? - Yes. 828 00:48:14,422 --> 00:48:15,411 All right. 829 00:48:15,490 --> 00:48:18,948 He sits down at the table and he says to the waiter... Did you get that? 830 00:48:19,027 --> 00:48:21,291 - Yes. - It isn't funny so far, but wait a minute. 831 00:48:21,362 --> 00:48:24,059 He says to the waiter, "Waiter, bring me a cup of coffee. " 832 00:48:24,133 --> 00:48:26,158 Five minutes later, the waiter comes and says: 833 00:48:26,235 --> 00:48:28,100 "I'm sorry, sir, we're all out of coffee. " 834 00:48:28,170 --> 00:48:29,933 No, you've got me all mixed up now. 835 00:48:30,005 --> 00:48:33,441 Sits down at the table, says, "Bring me a cup of coffee. " That's it. 836 00:48:33,509 --> 00:48:35,739 He says, "Bring me a cup of coffee without cream. " 837 00:48:35,811 --> 00:48:38,109 Five minutes later, the waiter comes back and says: 838 00:48:38,180 --> 00:48:41,742 "I'm sorry, sir. We have no cream. Can it be a glass of milk?" 839 00:48:41,818 --> 00:48:43,911 You have no sense of humor! 840 00:48:44,888 --> 00:48:46,321 None whatsoever. 841 00:48:46,389 --> 00:48:49,119 Not a grain of humor in you. There's not a laugh in you. 842 00:48:49,192 --> 00:48:51,660 Everybody else laughs at it, but not you. 843 00:49:02,940 --> 00:49:04,703 What's so funny about this? 844 00:49:41,204 --> 00:49:44,503 In addition to the arguments above enumerated for lifting this injunction... 845 00:49:44,574 --> 00:49:48,374 we wish to cite the decision of the High Court of Paris rendered in the case... 846 00:49:48,445 --> 00:49:51,437 of Princess Marishka against the Government of Montenegro... 847 00:49:51,514 --> 00:49:53,005 on the fifth day of August, 1897. 848 00:49:53,084 --> 00:49:56,144 Comparing the facts in that case with our present set of facts... 849 00:49:56,220 --> 00:50:00,213 we feel that the treaty between the Republic of France and the USSR... 850 00:50:06,999 --> 00:50:08,762 I'm sorry, gentlemen. 851 00:50:08,834 --> 00:50:13,203 The other day I heard such a funny story, it still makes me laugh. 852 00:50:13,338 --> 00:50:14,965 It's very funny. 853 00:50:15,908 --> 00:50:18,638 Yes, about this injunction. 854 00:50:18,777 --> 00:50:21,245 The hearing is set for the twentieth of this month. 855 00:50:21,313 --> 00:50:23,339 That's two weeks from Thursday. 856 00:50:23,416 --> 00:50:25,316 We did our utmost to have it set ahead. 857 00:50:25,385 --> 00:50:26,977 I know, gentlemen. 858 00:50:27,053 --> 00:50:30,216 It's in the hands of the court. We're helpless, aren't we? 859 00:50:30,290 --> 00:50:32,190 Yes, it is unfortunate. 860 00:50:32,659 --> 00:50:35,321 There's nothing we can do. Why get excited? 861 00:50:36,363 --> 00:50:39,355 We'll leave these papers with you for your further consideration. 862 00:50:39,433 --> 00:50:41,367 - Au revoir, Madame. - Au revoir. 863 00:50:43,337 --> 00:50:45,897 Well, that means another two weeks in Paris. 864 00:50:45,973 --> 00:50:48,237 Too bad we have to waste all that time. 865 00:50:48,309 --> 00:50:49,571 I acted on your suggestion... 866 00:50:49,643 --> 00:50:52,169 and got in touch with the power and light authorities. 867 00:50:52,247 --> 00:50:55,239 Whenever you want to visit their plants, they are open to you. 868 00:50:55,317 --> 00:50:58,115 Yes, power and light. Thank you. 869 00:50:58,186 --> 00:51:00,848 There is something else which I know will appeal to you. 870 00:51:00,922 --> 00:51:02,890 A visit to the Paris sewers. 871 00:51:02,958 --> 00:51:05,358 They tell me it's extremely instructive. 872 00:51:06,362 --> 00:51:08,592 Why don't you get a haircut, Buljanoff? 873 00:51:08,664 --> 00:51:10,894 You all look so wintry, comrades. 874 00:51:10,967 --> 00:51:13,401 And why do we always keep the windows closed? 875 00:51:19,141 --> 00:51:20,769 Isn't that amazing? 876 00:51:20,844 --> 00:51:24,905 At home, there is still snow and ice, and here, look at the birds. 877 00:51:27,184 --> 00:51:29,948 I always felt a little hurt when our swallows deserted us... 878 00:51:30,020 --> 00:51:32,488 in the winter for capitalistic countries. 879 00:51:33,323 --> 00:51:34,847 Now I know why. 880 00:51:35,193 --> 00:51:37,184 We have the high ideal... 881 00:51:37,662 --> 00:51:39,687 but they have the climate. 882 00:51:40,932 --> 00:51:42,923 Comrades, I don't think I need you anymore. 883 00:51:43,001 --> 00:51:45,595 - Is there anything we can do for you? - Not a thing. 884 00:51:45,670 --> 00:51:47,501 Would you like to go out? 885 00:51:47,572 --> 00:51:49,631 - Yes, sure. - Have you any money? 886 00:51:56,181 --> 00:51:58,706 - Here are 50 francs. - Thank you. 887 00:51:58,984 --> 00:52:00,611 Bring me back 45. 888 00:52:02,688 --> 00:52:04,212 Yes, of course. 889 00:52:04,657 --> 00:52:06,852 - Yes, that's fine. - Goodbye, comrade. 890 00:53:13,964 --> 00:53:17,058 - Have you the time, Gaston? - It's 8:42, sir. 891 00:53:17,468 --> 00:53:19,164 I guess it must be 8:42. 892 00:53:19,471 --> 00:53:22,201 - You seem to be a bit nervous, sir. - I am, Gaston. 893 00:53:22,273 --> 00:53:25,936 If you'll forgive me, sir, ever since you met that Bolshevik lady... 894 00:53:26,010 --> 00:53:28,535 I've noticed a distinct change in you, sir. 895 00:53:28,613 --> 00:53:30,513 - Have you, Gaston? - Decidedly. 896 00:53:31,683 --> 00:53:34,585 Yesterday I was greatly amazed when I came from the market... 897 00:53:34,653 --> 00:53:36,780 and found you'd made your bed, sir. 898 00:53:36,856 --> 00:53:38,983 Yes, I felt better for it all day long. 899 00:53:39,058 --> 00:53:41,253 I felt as if I'd contributed something. 900 00:53:41,327 --> 00:53:43,488 May I add, sir, it was with great amazement... 901 00:53:43,562 --> 00:53:47,123 that I found a copy of Karl Marx's Capital on your night table, sir. 902 00:53:47,199 --> 00:53:51,364 That is a socialistic volume, which I refuse to so much as dust, sir. 903 00:53:51,738 --> 00:53:55,105 I view with alarm the influence over you of this Bolshevik lady. 904 00:53:55,175 --> 00:53:57,268 But I don't follow you, Gaston. 905 00:53:57,344 --> 00:54:00,871 Isn't it about time that you realized the unfairness of your position? 906 00:54:00,947 --> 00:54:02,210 Your being my servant... 907 00:54:02,283 --> 00:54:04,751 wouldn't you like to stand on an equal footing with me? 908 00:54:04,819 --> 00:54:05,843 No, sir. 909 00:54:05,920 --> 00:54:08,013 Good heavens, isn't there any revolt in you? 910 00:54:08,089 --> 00:54:11,354 When I order you around, don't you feel like kicking me in the pants? 911 00:54:11,425 --> 00:54:12,619 No, sir. 912 00:54:12,693 --> 00:54:14,490 You're a reactionary. 913 00:54:14,595 --> 00:54:17,360 You can't tell me that you don't look forward to the day... 914 00:54:17,432 --> 00:54:19,832 when you can come in here, stand on your two feet... 915 00:54:19,902 --> 00:54:22,234 and say, "From now on, it's share and share alike. " 916 00:54:22,304 --> 00:54:25,740 Emphatically not, sir. The prospect terrifies me. 917 00:54:25,841 --> 00:54:27,672 Now, don't misunderstand me, sir. 918 00:54:27,743 --> 00:54:30,541 I don't resent your not paying me for the past two months... 919 00:54:30,612 --> 00:54:33,548 but the thought that I should split my bank account with you... 920 00:54:33,616 --> 00:54:35,982 that you should take half of my life's savings... 921 00:54:36,052 --> 00:54:38,247 that is really too much for me, sir. 922 00:54:40,290 --> 00:54:42,485 Go to bed, little father, go to bed. 923 00:55:02,681 --> 00:55:06,447 - I don't look too foolish? - Foolish? 924 00:55:07,886 --> 00:55:11,447 If this dress were walking down the boulevard all by itself... 925 00:55:11,523 --> 00:55:14,321 I'd follow it from one end of Paris to the other. 926 00:55:14,392 --> 00:55:16,588 And when I caught up with it, I'd say: 927 00:55:16,662 --> 00:55:19,495 "Wait a moment, you charming little dress. 928 00:55:19,565 --> 00:55:23,626 "I want you to meet Ninotchka. You two were meant for each other. " 929 00:55:43,423 --> 00:55:45,153 Remember this room? 930 00:55:46,294 --> 00:55:48,455 I've never been here before. 931 00:55:48,763 --> 00:55:51,163 I wonder whom you're thinking of? 932 00:55:51,699 --> 00:55:54,463 I know. The girl with the map... 933 00:55:54,636 --> 00:55:59,073 always figuring out each step and worrying about north and south. 934 00:56:00,009 --> 00:56:01,271 Today... 935 00:56:01,343 --> 00:56:02,901 Now, this might shock you. 936 00:56:02,978 --> 00:56:06,573 I walked up to a taxi, I said, "883 du Bois"... 937 00:56:06,649 --> 00:56:08,014 and here I am. 938 00:56:08,083 --> 00:56:10,517 You see? Life can be so simple. 939 00:56:10,586 --> 00:56:14,283 - For 12 francs 75. - 12.75? From the Clarence? 940 00:56:14,356 --> 00:56:16,325 The son of a gun made a detour. 941 00:56:18,361 --> 00:56:19,953 But he got you here. 942 00:56:26,636 --> 00:56:27,967 It's 9:00. 943 00:56:30,274 --> 00:56:33,004 That's when one half of Paris says to the other half: 944 00:56:33,077 --> 00:56:35,375 "What are you plans for this evening, Madame?" 945 00:56:35,980 --> 00:56:38,676 First, I would like to take off my hat. 946 00:56:39,050 --> 00:56:41,348 Then, could we have some music? 947 00:56:41,686 --> 00:56:43,313 A wonderful idea. 948 00:56:45,023 --> 00:56:47,218 - Radio or records? - Not radio. 949 00:56:47,292 --> 00:56:49,852 Let's have music that's just for ourselves. 950 00:56:53,198 --> 00:56:54,961 I'll play it very softly... 951 00:56:55,033 --> 00:56:57,433 because I have things to tell you about, which I can't shout. 952 00:57:05,978 --> 00:57:07,468 Darling, I... 953 00:57:13,754 --> 00:57:16,052 You see, I couldn't shout that. 954 00:57:17,091 --> 00:57:18,388 Oh, Leon. 955 00:57:19,660 --> 00:57:23,187 Leon, you know the jokes you told me a few days ago? 956 00:57:24,098 --> 00:57:27,192 I wake up in the middle of the night and laugh at them. 957 00:57:27,835 --> 00:57:29,736 You know, that's wrong. 958 00:57:30,038 --> 00:57:31,665 They aren't funny. 959 00:57:32,040 --> 00:57:34,270 They're silly, they're stupid. 960 00:57:34,876 --> 00:57:36,707 And still I laugh at them. 961 00:57:37,278 --> 00:57:40,975 And when I look at Buljanoff and Iranoff and Kopalski... 962 00:57:41,049 --> 00:57:44,213 I know they're scoundrels and I should hate them. 963 00:57:45,488 --> 00:57:48,218 Then I realize who made them like that. 964 00:57:48,591 --> 00:57:51,492 And instead of sending my report to Moscow... 965 00:57:51,560 --> 00:57:54,051 I go down and buy a ridiculous hat. 966 00:57:54,997 --> 00:57:56,760 And if this keeps on... 967 00:57:57,701 --> 00:58:00,033 - Am I too talkative? - No, go on. 968 00:58:00,804 --> 00:58:05,764 And Leon, I want to tell you something which I thought I would never say... 969 00:58:06,810 --> 00:58:11,747 which I thought nobody ever should say, because I didn't think it exists. 970 00:58:15,553 --> 00:58:18,750 And, Leon, I can't say it. 971 00:58:55,562 --> 00:58:57,827 What a gesture for a sergeant. 972 00:59:00,000 --> 00:59:02,833 - Leon, may I ask you something? - Anything. 973 00:59:02,903 --> 00:59:05,064 If you don't want to answer, you needn't. 974 00:59:05,139 --> 00:59:08,973 - But if you do, you must tell the truth. - I promise. 975 00:59:09,276 --> 00:59:11,871 Did you make any change in this room? 976 00:59:13,048 --> 00:59:14,675 I don't think so. 977 00:59:15,250 --> 00:59:19,209 When I was here before, I noticed a photograph of a woman... 978 00:59:19,287 --> 00:59:21,812 on the desk in a wide silver frame. 979 00:59:22,357 --> 00:59:26,658 I thought, what a waste of silver. That's all I was interested in then. 980 00:59:27,497 --> 00:59:31,126 Now, I would like to know. What happened to the woman? 981 00:59:54,324 --> 00:59:55,986 The Grand Duchess? 982 00:59:57,662 --> 00:59:59,493 She's very attractive. 983 01:00:00,265 --> 01:00:02,199 She has great elegance. 984 01:00:03,668 --> 01:00:06,569 She's what you call a woman of the world, isn't she? 985 01:00:06,638 --> 01:00:07,969 Ninotchka. 986 01:00:08,873 --> 01:00:10,273 I love you. 987 01:00:10,910 --> 01:00:13,003 I suppose she's very entertaining. 988 01:00:14,013 --> 01:00:17,380 It must be lots of fun to be with a woman like that, so witty and... 989 01:00:17,449 --> 01:00:18,780 Ninotchka. 990 01:00:19,652 --> 01:00:21,210 You're jealous. 991 01:00:25,392 --> 01:00:29,021 Leon, don't ever ask me for a picture of myself. 992 01:00:29,563 --> 01:00:32,327 I couldn't bear the thought of being shut up in a drawer. 993 01:00:32,399 --> 01:00:36,062 - I couldn't breathe. I couldn't stand it. - Oh, my darling. 994 01:00:51,385 --> 01:00:52,909 Caf� de Lut�ce. 995 01:00:53,354 --> 01:00:56,347 A table for tonight? Certainly, Count d'Algout. 996 01:00:56,625 --> 01:01:00,322 What time, may I ask? After the opera, thank you very much. 997 01:01:04,366 --> 01:01:05,594 Good evening, Your Highness. 998 01:01:05,667 --> 01:01:08,227 Good evening. You seem to be very crowded this evening. 999 01:01:08,303 --> 01:01:11,535 - Can you manage a table near the floor? - Certainly, this way please. 1000 01:01:11,608 --> 01:01:14,441 - Count d'Algout made the reservation. - Count d'Algout? 1001 01:01:14,510 --> 01:01:17,775 Yes. It is only a small table, but we will put in some extra chairs. 1002 01:01:17,847 --> 01:01:18,973 No, that's another party. 1003 01:01:19,048 --> 01:01:21,414 Let's go to some other place. It's so crowded here. 1004 01:01:21,484 --> 01:01:25,319 No. This is glory. At last I'm going to have a look at that female Bolshevik. 1005 01:01:25,389 --> 01:01:26,617 Can we manage another table? 1006 01:01:26,690 --> 01:01:28,783 - Only one in the rear, I'm afraid. - Perfect. 1007 01:01:28,859 --> 01:01:31,419 You mean Leon's bringing the Bolshevik you told us about? 1008 01:01:31,495 --> 01:01:34,191 - Isn't it divine? - I wouldn't have missed this for anything. 1009 01:01:34,264 --> 01:01:36,459 We must be very discreet. If she sucks her soup... 1010 01:01:36,533 --> 01:01:38,627 or drinks out of her finger bowl, don't laugh. 1011 01:01:38,703 --> 01:01:40,637 We mustn't embarrass poor little Leon. 1012 01:01:40,705 --> 01:01:44,004 He's gone through enough for my sake. We mustn't add insult to injury. 1013 01:01:44,075 --> 01:01:46,373 Is this satisfactory, Your Highness? 1014 01:01:46,478 --> 01:01:49,174 - Is it to be dinner, Your Excellency? - Later, perhaps. 1015 01:01:49,247 --> 01:01:51,807 - We'll just start with champagne. - Champagne. 1016 01:01:51,883 --> 01:01:56,344 I'm only afraid the doorman may spoil all our fun. If only he lets her in. 1017 01:01:56,422 --> 01:01:58,515 - Look, there's Leon. - Where? 1018 01:02:12,239 --> 01:02:15,140 Good evening, Count d'Algout. If you please. 1019 01:02:17,978 --> 01:02:19,969 General, shall we dance? 1020 01:02:23,384 --> 01:02:24,817 - Is it dry? - Yes, monsieur. 1021 01:02:24,886 --> 01:02:28,378 - Is that right, or do you prefer it sweet? - I wouldn't know. 1022 01:02:28,890 --> 01:02:31,916 The closest I ever came to champagne was in a newsreel. 1023 01:02:31,993 --> 01:02:34,723 The wife of some president was throwing it at a battleship. 1024 01:02:34,796 --> 01:02:37,357 It's always good luck to launch something with champagne. 1025 01:02:37,433 --> 01:02:39,526 A battleship or an evening. 1026 01:02:41,236 --> 01:02:44,797 It's funny to look back. I was brought up on goat's milk. 1027 01:02:45,074 --> 01:02:48,942 I had a ration of vodka in the army, and now champagne. 1028 01:02:49,978 --> 01:02:53,540 From goats to grapes. That's drinking in the right direction. 1029 01:03:12,603 --> 01:03:13,968 It's good. 1030 01:03:25,183 --> 01:03:28,084 From what I've read, I thought champagne was a strong drink. 1031 01:03:28,153 --> 01:03:29,643 It's delicate. 1032 01:03:29,988 --> 01:03:32,286 Does anyone ever get drunk on this? 1033 01:03:33,125 --> 01:03:35,856 Well, there have been cases. But the headache... 1034 01:03:35,928 --> 01:03:40,092 the next morning is worthwhile if you drink it with the right toast. 1035 01:03:41,300 --> 01:03:42,961 To us, Ninotchka. 1036 01:03:50,310 --> 01:03:52,039 Thank you, General. 1037 01:03:55,082 --> 01:03:58,051 Hello, Leon! How are you, my dear? 1038 01:03:58,118 --> 01:04:00,518 - Hello, Swana. Good evening, General. - How do you do? 1039 01:04:00,587 --> 01:04:03,055 You're looking magnificent tonight. Isn't he, General? 1040 01:04:03,123 --> 01:04:05,217 - Thank you. - Is this your new dress suit? 1041 01:04:05,293 --> 01:04:07,727 I told you Benson and Benson were the tailors for you. 1042 01:04:07,796 --> 01:04:09,525 - Yes, you did. - It's a dream of beauty. 1043 01:04:09,597 --> 01:04:11,064 Never takes my word for anything. 1044 01:04:11,132 --> 01:04:12,793 - But I was right, wasn't I? - Yes. 1045 01:04:12,867 --> 01:04:15,267 - Am I interrupting? - No, not at all. 1046 01:04:15,336 --> 01:04:17,566 Your Highness, may I present Comrade Yakushova? 1047 01:04:17,639 --> 01:04:18,833 How do you do? 1048 01:04:18,907 --> 01:04:20,773 - General Savitzky. - How do you do? 1049 01:04:20,843 --> 01:04:24,301 I've some wonderful news about Punchy. Do you mind if I sit down? 1050 01:04:24,380 --> 01:04:25,506 No, please. 1051 01:04:25,581 --> 01:04:27,606 Would you mind making my excuses at our table? 1052 01:04:27,683 --> 01:04:30,584 - Certainly. - Will you say I'll be back soon? 1053 01:04:31,387 --> 01:04:34,789 We can be proud of our Punchy. He had a triumph at the dog show. 1054 01:04:34,858 --> 01:04:37,588 He won another blue ribbon and bit the judge. 1055 01:04:37,661 --> 01:04:40,289 I bought him the loveliest little sweater as a reward. 1056 01:04:40,363 --> 01:04:43,924 You should see him strutting in it. He looks like a little boulevardier. 1057 01:04:44,000 --> 01:04:46,366 Count d'Algout gave me Punchy for my birthday. 1058 01:04:46,436 --> 01:04:50,203 You must've searched for weeks before you found anything as divine as Punchy... 1059 01:04:50,274 --> 01:04:52,299 - didn't you, Leon? - Months, Swana. 1060 01:04:52,376 --> 01:04:54,936 Poor Madame Yakushova. Here we are talking in mysteries. 1061 01:04:55,012 --> 01:04:57,480 - I'm sure you wonder what it's all about. - Not at all. 1062 01:04:57,548 --> 01:05:00,915 I understand perfectly. Count d'Algout gave you a dog. 1063 01:05:00,985 --> 01:05:03,146 You made it very clear, Madame. 1064 01:05:03,221 --> 01:05:06,020 Oh, dear me. I must be losing my finesse. 1065 01:05:06,491 --> 01:05:09,392 If I'm not careful, I'll be understood by everybody. 1066 01:05:09,828 --> 01:05:12,661 - Charming crowd here tonight, isn't it? - I'm going, Leon. 1067 01:05:12,731 --> 01:05:16,667 But before I go, I must compliment you on your gown, Madame Yakushova. 1068 01:05:16,735 --> 01:05:18,931 Is that what they're wearing in Moscow this year? 1069 01:05:19,005 --> 01:05:21,030 No, last year, Madame. 1070 01:05:21,107 --> 01:05:24,804 Isn't it amazing? One gets the wrong impression of the new Russia. 1071 01:05:24,878 --> 01:05:28,746 It must be charming. I'm delighted conditions have improved so. 1072 01:05:28,815 --> 01:05:31,875 I assume this is what the factory workers wear at their dances? 1073 01:05:31,951 --> 01:05:35,854 Exactly. It would have been very embarrassing for people of my sort... 1074 01:05:35,923 --> 01:05:38,619 to wear low-cut gowns in the old Russia. 1075 01:05:38,893 --> 01:05:42,351 The lashes of the Cossacks across our backs were not very becoming. 1076 01:05:42,429 --> 01:05:44,522 And you know how vain women are. 1077 01:05:44,598 --> 01:05:46,725 Yes, you're quite right about the Cossacks. 1078 01:05:46,800 --> 01:05:49,395 We made a great mistake when we let them use their whips. 1079 01:05:49,471 --> 01:05:50,904 They had such reliable guns. 1080 01:05:50,972 --> 01:05:53,907 Will you do me a favor? Let's not talk about the good old days. 1081 01:05:53,975 --> 01:05:55,602 Yes, it's a very wise suggestion. 1082 01:05:55,677 --> 01:05:57,508 I'm afraid Madame and I will never agree. 1083 01:05:57,579 --> 01:05:59,877 The only thing we have in common is our lawsuit... 1084 01:05:59,948 --> 01:06:02,178 and that will be settled next week. 1085 01:06:02,250 --> 01:06:05,414 I understand everything will be over by Thursday. 1086 01:06:06,188 --> 01:06:07,621 Am I right? 1087 01:06:07,857 --> 01:06:10,018 Yes. You're right, Madame. 1088 01:06:10,693 --> 01:06:12,957 It'll all be over by Thursday. 1089 01:06:13,229 --> 01:06:15,891 It's too bad you have so few more days here in Paris. 1090 01:06:15,965 --> 01:06:17,934 Leon, be sure and redouble your efforts... 1091 01:06:18,001 --> 01:06:21,869 so Madame can take some pleasant memories when she returns to Moscow. 1092 01:06:22,806 --> 01:06:24,740 - Good night, Leon. - Good night, Swana. 1093 01:06:28,612 --> 01:06:31,342 Now I think I need a glass of champagne. 1094 01:06:51,537 --> 01:06:54,028 Quickly, please tell me one of your funny stories. 1095 01:06:54,106 --> 01:06:55,505 A funny story? 1096 01:06:55,574 --> 01:06:59,635 You never finished the one about the two Scotchmen with the names. 1097 01:07:02,148 --> 01:07:03,342 Please. 1098 01:07:05,518 --> 01:07:07,816 Well, there were two Scotchmen. 1099 01:07:08,755 --> 01:07:12,191 One's name was McIntosh and the other one was McGillicuddy. 1100 01:07:12,258 --> 01:07:14,158 They met on the street. 1101 01:07:15,929 --> 01:07:20,026 No, I'll tell you another story. A much better one. 1102 01:07:21,502 --> 01:07:25,404 The only thing that'll be over on Thursday will be the lawsuit. 1103 01:07:26,240 --> 01:07:29,971 There will be no Thursday for us. Next week or any other week. 1104 01:07:30,044 --> 01:07:33,572 I won't let it happen. I'll tear it out of the calendar. 1105 01:07:35,217 --> 01:07:37,185 Isn't that a good story? 1106 01:07:38,453 --> 01:07:41,581 Wonderful, if one could believe it. 1107 01:07:42,924 --> 01:07:44,585 You must, darling. 1108 01:07:49,599 --> 01:07:52,466 To the loveliest story I ever heard. 1109 01:08:05,115 --> 01:08:06,514 Let's dance. 1110 01:08:20,231 --> 01:08:22,927 Leon, something is the matter. 1111 01:08:23,001 --> 01:08:26,767 You just made that trip from goats to grapes a little too quickly. 1112 01:08:26,838 --> 01:08:31,242 Everything is so wonderful. It's getting farther and farther away. 1113 01:08:31,310 --> 01:08:33,210 - What, darling? - Thursday. 1114 01:08:33,279 --> 01:08:36,646 Yes, don't worry, everything's going to be all right. 1115 01:08:39,819 --> 01:08:41,810 Comrades! 1116 01:08:41,887 --> 01:08:43,650 Darling, please. 1117 01:08:43,722 --> 01:08:45,850 I want to talk to my brothers. 1118 01:08:46,026 --> 01:08:49,826 Don't shush me, please. I am the people. I want to hold a speech. 1119 01:08:49,896 --> 01:08:52,956 - I want to overthrow the Grand Duchess. - You can't do that. 1120 01:08:53,033 --> 01:08:56,264 Oh, comrades! The good people of France! 1121 01:08:56,336 --> 01:09:00,068 - Now, Ninotchka. - But they're all grand duchesses here. 1122 01:09:00,141 --> 01:09:03,542 I ordered out thousands of grand duchesses and I want to tell them. 1123 01:09:03,611 --> 01:09:07,308 Yes, dear, you're quite right. But first, you're going through that door. 1124 01:09:07,381 --> 01:09:10,179 You're going to lie down and take some spirits of ammonia. 1125 01:09:10,251 --> 01:09:12,185 - No speech? - No speech. 1126 01:09:12,920 --> 01:09:14,821 I love you, my little Leonitchka. 1127 01:09:14,890 --> 01:09:17,688 And I adore you, Ninotchka. Go ahead, now. 1128 01:09:20,963 --> 01:09:23,955 - No speech? - No. For heaven's sake, no speech. 1129 01:09:30,373 --> 01:09:32,705 - Give me a double brandy. - Yes, sir. 1130 01:09:51,428 --> 01:09:55,194 I'm sorry, Count, it is most embarrassing, but the lady you brought with you... 1131 01:09:55,266 --> 01:09:57,757 is spreading communistic propaganda in the powder room. 1132 01:09:57,835 --> 01:10:00,361 What? Give me another double brandy. 1133 01:10:00,572 --> 01:10:03,939 That kind of propaganda is bad anywhere, but inciting the attendants... 1134 01:10:04,009 --> 01:10:05,636 of the powder room to go on strike? 1135 01:10:05,710 --> 01:10:08,372 If she succeeds, the consequences will be disastrous. 1136 01:10:08,446 --> 01:10:09,708 What can I do about it? 1137 01:10:09,781 --> 01:10:12,808 She has been asked to leave the powder room, but without success. 1138 01:10:12,885 --> 01:10:16,719 We would appreciate it very much if you would see to it yourself. 1139 01:10:16,822 --> 01:10:20,781 - You want me to go in there? - I'm sorry, sir, but I must insist. 1140 01:10:49,490 --> 01:10:51,981 - Make it a triple brandy. - Yes, sir. 1141 01:10:57,833 --> 01:11:00,859 All right, tell the Grand Duchess. Tell everybody. 1142 01:11:01,303 --> 01:11:05,069 They know it anyway. It doesn't make any difference. Get out. 1143 01:11:05,441 --> 01:11:09,400 - Don't tell them where we're going. - No, darling, nobody will find us. 1144 01:11:09,812 --> 01:11:13,476 - Are we going to build our little house? - Yes, a little white house. 1145 01:11:13,550 --> 01:11:16,883 - No, not white. - All right, we'll make it red. 1146 01:11:17,220 --> 01:11:21,281 No, let's not have any color. No color. Just a "house" house. 1147 01:11:22,259 --> 01:11:24,989 - Let's form our own party. - Right. 1148 01:11:25,061 --> 01:11:27,087 Lovers of the world, unite. 1149 01:11:27,164 --> 01:11:29,997 - And we won't stretch up our arms. - No! 1150 01:11:30,334 --> 01:11:32,564 - And we won't clench our fists. - No. 1151 01:11:32,637 --> 01:11:35,834 - Our salute will be a kiss. - Yes. 1152 01:11:36,474 --> 01:11:38,738 A kiss. Salute. 1153 01:11:42,914 --> 01:11:45,883 I am so happy. 1154 01:11:47,686 --> 01:11:50,814 No one can be so happy without being punished. 1155 01:11:50,889 --> 01:11:53,983 I will be punished, and I should be punished. 1156 01:11:54,893 --> 01:11:58,762 - Leon, I want to confess. - I know. It's the Russian soul. 1157 01:11:58,831 --> 01:12:00,822 Well, everyone wants to confess. 1158 01:12:00,900 --> 01:12:04,267 And if they don't confess, they make them confess. 1159 01:12:04,804 --> 01:12:06,465 I am a traitor. 1160 01:12:06,906 --> 01:12:10,000 When I kissed you, I betrayed a Russian ideal. 1161 01:12:10,944 --> 01:12:13,378 I should be stood up against the wall. 1162 01:12:13,447 --> 01:12:16,644 - Would that make you any happier? - Much happier. 1163 01:12:17,985 --> 01:12:19,350 All right. 1164 01:12:56,593 --> 01:13:00,393 I've paid the penalty. Now, let's have some music. 1165 01:13:00,797 --> 01:13:04,096 - Yes, let's turn on the radio. - Radio? What's radio? 1166 01:13:04,668 --> 01:13:07,569 Radio's a little box that you buy on the installment plan... 1167 01:13:07,637 --> 01:13:11,301 and before you tune it in, they tell you there's a new model out. 1168 01:13:11,376 --> 01:13:16,143 Yes, I know where that is. There's one around here somewhere. 1169 01:13:16,781 --> 01:13:19,841 It has a little knob that you turn. 1170 01:13:19,917 --> 01:13:23,216 - A little knob, that's right. - Yeah. Maybe it's in here. 1171 01:13:23,287 --> 01:13:26,121 - Just a little knob. - It's a radio and has a knob. 1172 01:13:26,191 --> 01:13:30,389 Now, maybe it's in here. Let's see. There it is. 1173 01:13:30,729 --> 01:13:33,459 - There's the knob. - There's the knob. 1174 01:13:33,532 --> 01:13:35,659 Now, what shall we get, the news? 1175 01:13:35,768 --> 01:13:39,569 No news. We don't want to know what's happening in the world. 1176 01:13:39,639 --> 01:13:41,937 We want to be left alone, don't we? 1177 01:13:42,008 --> 01:13:44,636 Yes, darling, all by ourselves. 1178 01:13:44,711 --> 01:13:48,977 Then turn to the left and stop at seven. 1179 01:13:50,417 --> 01:13:53,979 Turn to the left and stop at seven. 1180 01:13:58,459 --> 01:14:01,553 - No music. - No music. 1181 01:14:02,630 --> 01:14:05,030 There it is, Thursday. 1182 01:14:05,633 --> 01:14:08,034 You can't rip it out of the week. 1183 01:14:11,339 --> 01:14:12,897 There they are. 1184 01:14:13,275 --> 01:14:17,871 - They're terrible things, those jewels. - But big. 1185 01:14:18,113 --> 01:14:20,513 They are the tears of Old Russia. 1186 01:14:21,550 --> 01:14:24,679 - See that stone? - Who cried that one? 1187 01:14:24,921 --> 01:14:28,152 Czar Peter gave it to his wife, Catherine the Great. 1188 01:14:28,691 --> 01:14:31,854 For it he sold 10,000 serfs in the market. 1189 01:14:31,928 --> 01:14:35,830 But, darling, don't get impatient. Wait till we're married. 1190 01:14:36,132 --> 01:14:39,694 You know that worthless butler of mine, that reactionary? 1191 01:14:40,304 --> 01:14:42,534 Some day I'll come home to you and I'll say: 1192 01:14:42,606 --> 01:14:46,201 "Darling, I drove Gaston to the market this morning... 1193 01:14:47,544 --> 01:14:49,876 "and look what I got for him. " 1194 01:14:50,380 --> 01:14:52,941 Darling, come here. Let me put this on you. 1195 01:14:53,017 --> 01:14:56,111 - No. - Yes, you will teach these jewels. 1196 01:14:56,888 --> 01:15:00,289 For the first time, they will learn how they can really look. 1197 01:15:00,358 --> 01:15:02,258 They belong to the people. 1198 01:15:02,327 --> 01:15:04,727 And I give them back to the people. 1199 01:15:05,363 --> 01:15:08,333 I make you Ninotchka the Great... 1200 01:15:09,068 --> 01:15:11,036 Duchess of the People... 1201 01:15:12,204 --> 01:15:14,365 Grand Duchess of the People. 1202 01:15:14,607 --> 01:15:18,668 - Is this the wish of the masses? - It is their wish. 1203 01:15:19,144 --> 01:15:22,774 Thank you, Leon. Thank you, masses. 1204 01:15:23,783 --> 01:15:26,377 - Can I make a speech now? - Please. 1205 01:15:27,554 --> 01:15:30,648 Comrades, people of the world. 1206 01:15:31,124 --> 01:15:34,560 The revolution is on the march. I know. 1207 01:15:35,061 --> 01:15:38,896 Bombs will fall, civilization will crumble... 1208 01:15:39,433 --> 01:15:41,833 but not yet, please. 1209 01:15:42,403 --> 01:15:44,564 Wait. What's the hurry? 1210 01:15:45,172 --> 01:15:48,232 Give us our moment. Let's be happy. 1211 01:15:50,211 --> 01:15:53,204 - We're happy, aren't we, Leon? - Yes, darling. 1212 01:15:54,116 --> 01:15:57,882 So happy and so tired. 1213 01:17:00,219 --> 01:17:03,882 Smile, little father. Smile. 1214 01:17:26,948 --> 01:17:28,176 Come in. 1215 01:17:41,330 --> 01:17:43,958 - Good morning. - What? 1216 01:17:44,733 --> 01:17:49,330 It's tomorrow morning. Tomorrow noon, to be exact. I hope you'll forgive me. 1217 01:17:49,406 --> 01:17:53,206 I know it's extremely cruel to awaken anyone at such an hour. 1218 01:17:54,310 --> 01:17:57,837 Don't you recognize me? I'm the Grand Duchess Swana. 1219 01:17:59,949 --> 01:18:03,750 I know exactly how you feel, my dear. The morning after always does look grim... 1220 01:18:03,821 --> 01:18:06,187 if you happen to be wearing last night's dress. 1221 01:18:06,257 --> 01:18:08,248 Don't be embarrassed by my presence, though. 1222 01:18:08,325 --> 01:18:11,419 You couldn't have found anyone more sympathetic to your condition. 1223 01:18:11,495 --> 01:18:13,554 I think we can cut your visit short. 1224 01:18:13,631 --> 01:18:17,123 - Leon is not here. - Of course not, my dear. 1225 01:18:17,201 --> 01:18:19,966 I didn't come here with any such suspicion. How ridiculous. 1226 01:18:20,038 --> 01:18:22,506 Nor did I come here to pick up his hat. 1227 01:18:22,574 --> 01:18:25,668 What is it you people always say, regardless of what you mean? 1228 01:18:25,744 --> 01:18:27,439 "I'm delighted to have you here. " 1229 01:18:27,512 --> 01:18:31,380 I haven't reached that state of civilization, therefore I must ask you to leave. 1230 01:18:31,450 --> 01:18:35,478 Leave? That's exactly what I came here to ask you to do. Leave. 1231 01:18:35,555 --> 01:18:39,423 I don't mean this hotel, and I don't mean Paris. I mean France. 1232 01:18:39,492 --> 01:18:41,426 There's a plane for Moscow at 5:40. 1233 01:18:41,494 --> 01:18:44,895 Do you still think you're issuing orders from your palace in Petrograd? 1234 01:18:44,964 --> 01:18:46,898 My palace in Petrograd. 1235 01:18:47,568 --> 01:18:49,934 Yes, you took that away from me. 1236 01:18:50,204 --> 01:18:53,139 You took away my czar, my country, my people. 1237 01:18:54,041 --> 01:18:57,442 Everything I had. But nothing more. 1238 01:18:57,978 --> 01:19:00,344 People cannot be taken away, Madame... 1239 01:19:00,414 --> 01:19:03,077 neither 160 million nor one. 1240 01:19:03,785 --> 01:19:06,754 Not if you have their love. You hadn't. 1241 01:19:07,222 --> 01:19:09,554 That's why you're not in Russia any longer... 1242 01:19:09,624 --> 01:19:12,149 and that's why you came here this morning. 1243 01:19:12,227 --> 01:19:14,991 Problems were never solved by bowing from a balcony. 1244 01:19:15,063 --> 01:19:17,862 My dear, you don't know how impressive I could be. 1245 01:19:17,933 --> 01:19:22,199 Did you ever see me in my regalia with my diadem and all my jewels? 1246 01:19:39,356 --> 01:19:40,755 Elys�e 2763. 1247 01:19:42,859 --> 01:19:44,588 Believe me, Leon can't help you. 1248 01:19:44,661 --> 01:19:46,857 He doesn't know anything about the jewels. 1249 01:19:46,931 --> 01:19:49,229 I give you my word. I swear it. 1250 01:19:50,434 --> 01:19:51,526 Where are they? 1251 01:19:51,602 --> 01:19:54,230 You were very careless with our precious jewels, my dear. 1252 01:19:54,305 --> 01:19:56,967 They're too expensive a toy for two children to play with. 1253 01:19:57,041 --> 01:19:58,167 Where are they? 1254 01:19:58,242 --> 01:20:01,508 Don't worry, last night a very trustworthy friend kept his eyes open. 1255 01:20:01,580 --> 01:20:03,844 He may have overstepped his function as a waiter... 1256 01:20:03,916 --> 01:20:06,612 but he fulfilled his duty as a Russian. 1257 01:20:07,119 --> 01:20:11,579 I just put this on for sentiment. The rest are absolutely safe, I assure you. 1258 01:20:11,657 --> 01:20:15,058 - But if you feel like notifying the police... - You leave me no choice. 1259 01:20:15,127 --> 01:20:17,494 Won't it be rather embarrassing for a Soviet envoy... 1260 01:20:17,564 --> 01:20:20,192 to disclose the circumstances under which she lost them? 1261 01:20:20,266 --> 01:20:22,598 I'll have to face the consequences, but so will you. 1262 01:20:22,669 --> 01:20:24,762 Don't forget, they'll ask you how you got them. 1263 01:20:24,838 --> 01:20:28,638 That's very simple to answer. They were given to me by my mother. 1264 01:20:28,708 --> 01:20:30,574 They were given to her by her mother. 1265 01:20:30,644 --> 01:20:33,613 In fact, they're mine. You can't steal what belongs to you. 1266 01:20:33,681 --> 01:20:35,546 They always belonged to the Russian people. 1267 01:20:35,616 --> 01:20:39,211 They paid for them with their blood, their lives, and you'll give them back. 1268 01:20:39,286 --> 01:20:42,881 I told you we had plenty to talk about. Shall we sit down? 1269 01:20:42,957 --> 01:20:45,051 Let's free ourselves from emotionalism... 1270 01:20:45,126 --> 01:20:47,594 and try to solve the problem in a practical way. 1271 01:20:47,662 --> 01:20:50,096 Our situation has considerably changed. 1272 01:20:50,165 --> 01:20:53,692 Before I had only a claim to the jewels. Now I have the jewels. 1273 01:20:53,768 --> 01:20:56,862 In other words, moral ideas have no weight with you. 1274 01:20:56,938 --> 01:20:59,533 All right, then let's deal with legal facts. You know... 1275 01:20:59,609 --> 01:21:02,169 - France has recognized the Soviet. - Unfortunately. 1276 01:21:02,245 --> 01:21:04,713 Under the Soviet law, the jewels belong to the State. 1277 01:21:04,780 --> 01:21:08,443 - France is going to uphold that ownership. - Yes, my lawyer agrees with you. 1278 01:21:08,517 --> 01:21:11,111 He says that France will uphold it in every court... 1279 01:21:11,187 --> 01:21:14,885 but I will drag you through every court, don't forget that. 1280 01:21:14,992 --> 01:21:17,358 And when I say it will take two years... 1281 01:21:17,427 --> 01:21:20,055 I am, as always, conservative. 1282 01:21:20,364 --> 01:21:22,696 Won't those two years in court be expensive for you? 1283 01:21:22,766 --> 01:21:24,199 I know money was no object... 1284 01:21:24,268 --> 01:21:27,260 as long as you could squeeze it out of the pockets of the people. 1285 01:21:27,337 --> 01:21:30,330 I may run out of money, but you have already run out of bread. 1286 01:21:30,408 --> 01:21:33,673 Two years is a long time for your comrades to wait. 1287 01:21:34,312 --> 01:21:37,873 I see. You've calculated it in terms of hunger. 1288 01:21:38,349 --> 01:21:41,341 No, I just wanted to be absolutely impartial. 1289 01:21:42,153 --> 01:21:45,453 Both of us are faced with two rather uncomfortable years. 1290 01:21:45,524 --> 01:21:48,186 We can condense those two years to two minutes... 1291 01:21:48,260 --> 01:21:51,252 - if you want to accept my proposition. - Go on. 1292 01:21:52,531 --> 01:21:56,763 I am willing to hand over the jewels and sign any necessary papers... 1293 01:21:57,069 --> 01:22:00,039 if you will take that 5:40 plane to Moscow. 1294 01:22:01,875 --> 01:22:05,675 That's not the way to win him back. Not Leon. 1295 01:22:07,347 --> 01:22:11,306 I think I know Leon quite as well as you. Perhaps a little better. 1296 01:22:11,384 --> 01:22:12,942 Leave that worry to me. 1297 01:22:13,019 --> 01:22:17,354 Now, 5:40 leaves you time enough to close the deal with Monsieur Mercier... 1298 01:22:17,925 --> 01:22:20,223 but naturally you'll... 1299 01:22:20,828 --> 01:22:23,319 be too busy for any farewells. 1300 01:22:23,531 --> 01:22:27,433 I will see to it that everything is done in the most expeditious manner. 1301 01:22:27,568 --> 01:22:30,265 And I will also see you to the airport. 1302 01:22:31,206 --> 01:22:33,936 That's my proposition, Comrade Yakushova. 1303 01:22:52,929 --> 01:22:55,261 Yes? Hello. 1304 01:23:05,642 --> 01:23:07,007 Yes, Leon. 1305 01:23:08,345 --> 01:23:10,313 No, you didn't waken me. 1306 01:23:10,948 --> 01:23:12,712 I'm fine, thank you. 1307 01:23:15,086 --> 01:23:17,077 Yes, it was wonderful. 1308 01:23:19,624 --> 01:23:21,091 For luncheon? 1309 01:23:23,028 --> 01:23:26,795 I'm afraid I can't. I have lots of things to attend to today, Leon. 1310 01:23:26,866 --> 01:23:28,595 I'm going to be very busy. 1311 01:23:30,269 --> 01:23:34,399 To tell you the truth, I'm a little tired and I would like to rest. 1312 01:23:35,241 --> 01:23:36,970 Maybe you're right. 1313 01:23:37,309 --> 01:23:39,436 Perhaps it is the champagne. 1314 01:23:40,746 --> 01:23:42,146 For dinner? 1315 01:23:42,783 --> 01:23:45,980 Of course, 7:00 here. 1316 01:23:48,121 --> 01:23:50,146 7:00 will be all right. 1317 01:23:51,825 --> 01:23:54,316 Come in. Yes. 1318 01:23:56,264 --> 01:23:57,788 Just a moment. 1319 01:23:59,367 --> 01:24:01,562 - You can leave it here. - Yes, Madame. 1320 01:24:52,890 --> 01:24:55,792 Operator, will you switch the call, please? 1321 01:24:56,294 --> 01:24:59,286 Darling, your present just arrived. 1322 01:25:00,265 --> 01:25:04,292 It's very silly and very wonderful. 1323 01:25:06,505 --> 01:25:07,563 What? 1324 01:25:08,773 --> 01:25:11,368 I won't forget. 7:00. 1325 01:25:14,147 --> 01:25:16,047 Goodbye, darling. 1326 01:25:16,716 --> 01:25:17,978 What? 1327 01:25:21,654 --> 01:25:23,053 Salute. 1328 01:25:32,432 --> 01:25:35,526 - Good afternoon, Jacqueline. - Good afternoon, Your Highness. 1329 01:25:35,602 --> 01:25:36,728 - Madame, I... - Yes, I know. 1330 01:25:36,803 --> 01:25:39,773 You didn't find my other glove. It's all right. You're forgiven. 1331 01:25:39,841 --> 01:25:41,536 Thank you, Your Highness. 1332 01:25:41,609 --> 01:25:44,339 Count d'Algout is waiting. He's been here for some time. 1333 01:25:44,412 --> 01:25:46,243 Count d'Algout? Yes. 1334 01:25:51,553 --> 01:25:53,521 Leon, darling. How nice. 1335 01:25:53,588 --> 01:25:56,615 - Have you ordered tea or a cocktail? - No, thanks, Swana. 1336 01:25:56,692 --> 01:25:59,559 Did I act stupidly last night? Should I apologize? 1337 01:25:59,628 --> 01:26:03,496 No. I'm the one who should apologize. I should have talked to you before. 1338 01:26:03,566 --> 01:26:06,057 Is this, by any chance, going to be a confession? 1339 01:26:06,135 --> 01:26:08,604 - Yes. - No, my little Volga boatman. 1340 01:26:08,672 --> 01:26:10,435 Have you forgotten our First Commandment? 1341 01:26:10,507 --> 01:26:12,441 Never complain, never explain. 1342 01:26:12,509 --> 01:26:16,377 It's worked so often and so perfectly in the past, let's not break the rule. 1343 01:26:16,446 --> 01:26:18,414 Please don't look so guilty. Otherwise, I... 1344 01:26:18,481 --> 01:26:21,917 Swana, just this once, I must ask you to listen to me. 1345 01:26:23,054 --> 01:26:24,419 All right. 1346 01:26:27,058 --> 01:26:30,653 - I'm listening. - I know you hate the obvious. 1347 01:26:31,162 --> 01:26:34,131 But do you mind if, for the moment, I'm not the least subtle? 1348 01:26:34,198 --> 01:26:36,564 Brutal frankness, if you insist. 1349 01:26:37,134 --> 01:26:40,036 There are 100 ways of approaching it... 1350 01:26:40,105 --> 01:26:43,040 but I feel it can best be said in one simple phrase. 1351 01:26:43,609 --> 01:26:45,099 I'm in love, Swana. 1352 01:26:45,544 --> 01:26:49,537 I thought it was something serious. How could you frighten me so? 1353 01:26:49,615 --> 01:26:51,207 It must be serious. 1354 01:26:51,283 --> 01:26:54,481 Not so long ago I'd have considered such a statement juvenile... 1355 01:26:54,554 --> 01:26:56,522 and rather middle-class. 1356 01:26:56,623 --> 01:26:59,922 Now I can say it without a stammer, without a blush. 1357 01:27:01,227 --> 01:27:02,455 I'm in love, Swana. 1358 01:27:02,528 --> 01:27:05,759 But, Leon, this has the ugly sound of regeneration. 1359 01:27:05,832 --> 01:27:09,166 - I'm afraid that's what it is, Swana. - Always late. 1360 01:27:09,236 --> 01:27:11,966 Same old trouble, Leon. Whether you take me to the opera... 1361 01:27:12,039 --> 01:27:14,530 or call for me at a beauty shop, you're never on time. 1362 01:27:14,608 --> 01:27:19,477 Now, when it's a question of your reform, late again by about five minutes. 1363 01:27:21,548 --> 01:27:23,881 - What is this, Swana? - Knowing the efficiency... 1364 01:27:23,952 --> 01:27:26,682 of the French air service, I think I can safely guarantee... 1365 01:27:26,755 --> 01:27:28,985 that Madame Yakushova has taken off for Moscow. 1366 01:27:29,057 --> 01:27:31,457 - Has done what? - She's gone, Leon. 1367 01:27:32,927 --> 01:27:36,728 - You don't expect me to believe that? - There's the telephone. 1368 01:27:37,233 --> 01:27:41,033 If you call the hotel, you'll find you have no 7:00 appointment. 1369 01:27:50,012 --> 01:27:53,744 Imagine. For once in our lives we were in Paris... 1370 01:27:54,251 --> 01:27:57,948 - and we never went to the Eiffel Tower. - That's right. 1371 01:27:58,322 --> 01:28:01,723 They tell me it has a wonderful restaurant on the second floor. 1372 01:28:01,792 --> 01:28:04,784 Yes, it is an amazing piece of engineering... 1373 01:28:04,861 --> 01:28:08,389 still the most remarkable iron structure in the world. 1374 01:28:11,069 --> 01:28:13,060 Leading to the top... 1375 01:28:13,137 --> 01:28:17,164 there is a staircase of over 1,000 steps... 1376 01:28:18,409 --> 01:28:23,074 but there is an elevator included in the price of admission. 1377 01:28:36,796 --> 01:28:40,061 Everything's in order, I hope you will enjoy your trip to Russia. 1378 01:28:40,133 --> 01:28:42,931 Thank you. By the way, I've heard so many rumors... 1379 01:28:43,002 --> 01:28:46,995 about laundry conditions in Russia. Is it advisable to take one's own towels? 1380 01:28:47,073 --> 01:28:49,633 Certainly not. That is only capitalistic propaganda. 1381 01:28:49,709 --> 01:28:52,611 - We change the towel every week. - Thank you. 1382 01:28:54,315 --> 01:28:56,283 Hello. Comrade Cazabine? 1383 01:28:56,717 --> 01:28:59,914 No, I am sorry. He hasn't been with us for six months. 1384 01:28:59,987 --> 01:29:02,217 He was called back to Russia and was investigated. 1385 01:29:02,289 --> 01:29:06,021 You can get further details from his widow. You're very welcome. 1386 01:29:06,762 --> 01:29:09,162 Pardon me. I was interested in what you were saying. 1387 01:29:09,231 --> 01:29:12,564 When an envoy goes back to Russia and they don't like what he's done... 1388 01:29:12,634 --> 01:29:13,896 they put him out of the way? 1389 01:29:13,969 --> 01:29:16,904 Not always. Look at me. I've been back twice. 1390 01:29:17,639 --> 01:29:19,574 Here's my passport. Please give me a visa. 1391 01:29:19,642 --> 01:29:23,806 - I must leave for Russia immediately. - Count Leon d'Algout. A count. 1392 01:29:23,880 --> 01:29:26,178 - A nobleman. - Don't hold that against me, please. 1393 01:29:26,249 --> 01:29:28,308 Why should an aristocrat want to go to Russia? 1394 01:29:28,384 --> 01:29:30,181 - Business. - What business? 1395 01:29:30,253 --> 01:29:33,051 - Private. - There is no private business in Russia. 1396 01:29:33,122 --> 01:29:37,082 This whole thing seems very suspicious. What is the real reason? 1397 01:29:37,327 --> 01:29:40,763 If you ever want to get into Russia, take my advice. Confess. 1398 01:29:40,831 --> 01:29:43,163 Listen. I'll be absolutely frank with you. 1399 01:29:43,233 --> 01:29:46,066 - I have no business in Moscow. - I think so, too. 1400 01:29:46,136 --> 01:29:48,536 I want to see a friend of mine, a very dear friend. 1401 01:29:48,605 --> 01:29:52,440 It's a personal matter that has no relation to social philosophies or politics. 1402 01:29:52,510 --> 01:29:55,775 - It's a girl. - It is love which drags you to Moscow. 1403 01:29:55,847 --> 01:29:57,405 - Yes. - No visa. 1404 01:29:57,749 --> 01:30:00,775 - But I must get into that country of yours. - No visa. 1405 01:30:00,852 --> 01:30:04,152 But that's impossible. You can't do it! You haven't the right to... 1406 01:30:04,223 --> 01:30:07,420 - Listen. If you don't give me that visa... - You're going to force us? 1407 01:30:07,493 --> 01:30:10,690 You advertise all over the world for people to go into your country... 1408 01:30:10,763 --> 01:30:12,731 and when somebody tries, you won't let them! 1409 01:30:12,798 --> 01:30:14,459 - Why should I take a chance? - On what? 1410 01:30:14,533 --> 01:30:16,763 How do I know you don't want to blow up a factory? 1411 01:30:16,836 --> 01:30:18,998 - What for? Why? - Or a tunnel, or a bridge? 1412 01:30:19,072 --> 01:30:21,700 Nothing but suspicions. That's the trouble with you. 1413 01:30:21,775 --> 01:30:25,541 Listen, if you don't let me in, I'll stand in front of this office of yours... 1414 01:30:25,612 --> 01:30:27,443 and warn people to keep away from Russia. 1415 01:30:27,514 --> 01:30:31,780 I'll picket your whole country. I'll boycott you, that's what I'll do. 1416 01:30:32,052 --> 01:30:36,285 No more vodka, no more caviar, no more Tchaikovsky, no more borscht! 1417 01:30:36,657 --> 01:30:39,649 - Wait a minute. I've got a better idea. - What? 1418 01:30:40,728 --> 01:30:43,219 You can tell the Kremlin that's just the beginning! 1419 01:30:43,297 --> 01:30:44,264 No visa. 1420 01:30:46,234 --> 01:30:48,499 March! 1421 01:30:49,137 --> 01:30:50,627 Comrades of the world... 1422 01:30:50,706 --> 01:30:53,573 never has there been such a May Day parade as this. 1423 01:31:38,657 --> 01:31:40,921 - Good afternoon, Anna. - Good afternoon. 1424 01:31:40,992 --> 01:31:42,186 Aren't you late? 1425 01:31:42,260 --> 01:31:45,661 No. The opera starts an hour later tonight on account of the parade. 1426 01:31:45,730 --> 01:31:49,531 - Didn't you march today? - They didn't let me. I'm in disgrace. 1427 01:31:49,602 --> 01:31:52,867 Last week, at the performance of Carmen, I played a sour note. 1428 01:31:52,939 --> 01:31:54,998 The conductor got so excited, he yelled: 1429 01:31:55,074 --> 01:31:57,907 "There is sabotage in the string section!" 1430 01:31:59,278 --> 01:32:02,009 Too bad, Anna. You missed an inspiring day. 1431 01:32:02,082 --> 01:32:05,347 Yes, I know. Are you expecting someone? 1432 01:32:05,419 --> 01:32:09,287 - A few friends. Just a small dinner party. - And what are you serving? 1433 01:32:09,356 --> 01:32:11,688 - An omelet. - An omelet? 1434 01:32:12,225 --> 01:32:14,557 Aren't you living a little above your ration? 1435 01:32:14,628 --> 01:32:16,096 I saved two eggs... 1436 01:32:16,164 --> 01:32:18,962 and each of my friends is bringing his own. We'll manage. 1437 01:32:19,033 --> 01:32:21,365 Just goes to prove the theory of our State. 1438 01:32:21,436 --> 01:32:23,836 If you stand alone, it means a boiled egg... 1439 01:32:23,905 --> 01:32:28,342 but if you're true to the collective spirit and stick together, you've got an omelet. 1440 01:32:28,409 --> 01:32:32,210 That reminds me. Have you heard the latest they're telling about the Kremlin? 1441 01:32:32,281 --> 01:32:34,909 Well, one man... I'll tell you later. 1442 01:32:47,163 --> 01:32:48,255 That Gurganov. 1443 01:32:48,331 --> 01:32:52,028 You never know whether he's on his way to the washroom, or the Secret Police. 1444 01:32:52,102 --> 01:32:54,730 - You should be more careful. - And you, too, Ninotchka. 1445 01:32:54,804 --> 01:32:58,103 - About what? - Ever since you've been back from Paris... 1446 01:32:58,174 --> 01:33:01,372 I haven't talked to anyone about Paris. I haven't said a word. 1447 01:33:01,445 --> 01:33:04,073 That's just it. It makes people feel queer. 1448 01:33:04,148 --> 01:33:06,207 And I don't want you to get in any trouble. 1449 01:33:06,283 --> 01:33:09,582 - I have nothing to hide. - You should. I'll show you. 1450 01:33:10,888 --> 01:33:13,186 When I passed through the laundry yard today... 1451 01:33:13,257 --> 01:33:17,217 I saw all the women huddled around this, so I brought it up here. 1452 01:33:17,295 --> 01:33:21,391 Things like this create a bad feeling. First they didn't know whose it was... 1453 01:33:21,466 --> 01:33:24,526 and then they saw the Paris label and did it start a commotion. 1454 01:33:24,603 --> 01:33:27,003 Some said it's what we all ought to wear. 1455 01:33:27,072 --> 01:33:30,133 Others said it's like hanging foreign ideas on our clothesline. 1456 01:33:30,209 --> 01:33:32,905 - It undermines our whole cause. - I see. 1457 01:33:33,246 --> 01:33:35,806 You know how it is today. All you have to do is wear... 1458 01:33:35,882 --> 01:33:39,215 a pair of silk stockings, and they suspect you of counter-revolution. 1459 01:33:39,285 --> 01:33:42,413 Thank you, Anna. I'll dry it up here when I wash it next. 1460 01:33:42,488 --> 01:33:46,220 I should hate to see our country endangered by my underwear. 1461 01:33:46,527 --> 01:33:50,156 Ninotchka, I'm your friend. You can trust me. 1462 01:33:50,564 --> 01:33:53,192 - Did you bring back anything else? - No. 1463 01:33:53,367 --> 01:33:57,235 I left everything in Paris. I just happened to be wearing this. 1464 01:33:57,304 --> 01:33:59,705 Tell me, what else did you have? 1465 01:34:00,375 --> 01:34:02,639 Well, a hat. 1466 01:34:03,344 --> 01:34:04,868 What was it like? 1467 01:34:05,146 --> 01:34:08,775 Oh, it was very silly. I'd be ashamed to wear it here. 1468 01:34:09,250 --> 01:34:11,115 As beautiful as that. 1469 01:34:12,020 --> 01:34:14,012 What else? Come, tell me. 1470 01:34:15,357 --> 01:34:18,918 - An evening gown. - An evening gown? 1471 01:34:19,161 --> 01:34:21,356 Yes, it's a dress you wear in the evening. 1472 01:34:21,430 --> 01:34:23,295 What do you wear in the morning? 1473 01:34:23,365 --> 01:34:27,859 When you get up you wear a negligee, then you change into a morning frock. 1474 01:34:28,305 --> 01:34:32,366 You mean to tell me you wear a different dress for different times of the day? 1475 01:34:32,442 --> 01:34:35,843 - Yes. - Now, Ninotchka, you are exaggerating. 1476 01:34:35,912 --> 01:34:39,871 No, it's true. That's how they live in the other world. 1477 01:34:40,650 --> 01:34:43,643 Here we dress to cover up our bodies. To keep warm. 1478 01:34:43,721 --> 01:34:45,052 And there? 1479 01:34:45,757 --> 01:34:50,057 Sometimes they're not completely covered, but they don't freeze. 1480 01:34:51,662 --> 01:34:55,462 They must have wonderful materials to make a thing like this. 1481 01:34:55,533 --> 01:34:56,761 So soft. 1482 01:34:57,335 --> 01:35:00,328 - Something you don't even see. - You feel it, though. 1483 01:35:01,373 --> 01:35:05,810 Ninotchka, I wouldn't bring this up if we weren't such good friends. 1484 01:35:05,878 --> 01:35:07,277 What is it, Anna? 1485 01:35:07,446 --> 01:35:11,212 You know I told you that Pavlov and I are going to get married... 1486 01:35:11,283 --> 01:35:13,684 when he comes back from the maneuvers. 1487 01:35:13,753 --> 01:35:15,618 Would it be asking too much if... 1488 01:35:15,688 --> 01:35:18,054 - You want this? - Just for the honeymoon. 1489 01:35:18,124 --> 01:35:21,685 - It's yours for good. - Ninotchka. 1490 01:35:23,396 --> 01:35:25,762 Thank you. Thank you very much. 1491 01:35:25,832 --> 01:35:28,996 I'll never forget what you've done. 1492 01:35:29,069 --> 01:35:31,799 Am I going to play that cadenza tonight! 1493 01:35:46,154 --> 01:35:49,282 ... individuals, yes. As atoms in the cosmos of Soviet Russia. 1494 01:35:49,357 --> 01:35:53,919 ... and 30 million peasants, 85% of the population... 1495 01:35:54,196 --> 01:35:57,098 ... into an automobile and the muzhik into a tractor... 1496 01:35:57,166 --> 01:35:59,930 and then let the capitalists try to keep... 1497 01:36:04,640 --> 01:36:05,937 No music. 1498 01:36:11,113 --> 01:36:12,513 Ninotchka. 1499 01:36:13,650 --> 01:36:18,087 Buljanoff, Iranoff, and Kopalski! How are you, you three scoundrels? 1500 01:36:18,155 --> 01:36:20,020 Well, we are back home. 1501 01:36:20,090 --> 01:36:22,524 You know what they say, there is nothing like home. 1502 01:36:22,593 --> 01:36:24,151 Yes, and we might as well face it. 1503 01:36:24,228 --> 01:36:27,096 Now, you mustn't talk that way, you must adjust yourselves. 1504 01:36:27,165 --> 01:36:29,963 - Let's be brave. - Brave, that's right. 1505 01:36:30,034 --> 01:36:32,764 - Come and sit down. - Let's be happy that we are all alive. 1506 01:36:32,837 --> 01:36:33,997 That we owe to Ninotchka. 1507 01:36:34,072 --> 01:36:37,508 If you hadn't given Commissar Razinin such a wonderful report about us... 1508 01:36:37,575 --> 01:36:40,305 - who knows what would've happened? - I can tell you exactly. 1509 01:36:40,378 --> 01:36:42,870 Let's forget everything, except we're together. 1510 01:36:42,948 --> 01:36:46,111 - Yes, let's do that. - It's a real Paris reunion. 1511 01:36:46,185 --> 01:36:49,985 If you close your eyes and listen to our voices, we might be in Paris. 1512 01:36:50,055 --> 01:36:53,786 Let's not close our eyes. There are many good things to see here, too. 1513 01:36:53,859 --> 01:36:56,226 Look how nicely she has arranged the table. 1514 01:36:56,296 --> 01:37:00,926 Yes, how lovely. And what a wonderful room you have here. 1515 01:37:01,001 --> 01:37:04,994 - How many families live here with you? - Only myself and two other girls. 1516 01:37:05,071 --> 01:37:08,165 A cello player in the opera, and a streetcar conductor. 1517 01:37:08,241 --> 01:37:10,767 Just three people in a room this size? 1518 01:37:11,712 --> 01:37:13,646 Buljanoff, look here. 1519 01:37:13,714 --> 01:37:15,477 - Isn't that wonderful? - Look at this. 1520 01:37:15,549 --> 01:37:18,575 - What good material. - Naturally, it's not the Royal Suite. 1521 01:37:18,653 --> 01:37:21,713 Comrades, once and for all, we are in Moscow. 1522 01:37:21,789 --> 01:37:25,419 Yes, there's no doubt of that. Just look out of the window and there it is. 1523 01:37:25,494 --> 01:37:26,859 And it's great. 1524 01:37:26,929 --> 01:37:30,057 Think what it was a few years ago and what it is now. 1525 01:37:30,132 --> 01:37:32,123 It's a tremendous achievement. 1526 01:37:32,200 --> 01:37:34,828 - You must be reasonable, comrades. - She is right. 1527 01:37:34,903 --> 01:37:36,632 Anyhow, let's talk ourselves into it. 1528 01:37:36,705 --> 01:37:40,699 All right. It's great. It's marvelous. It's wonderful. 1529 01:37:40,777 --> 01:37:42,938 Just see how happy the people look from here. 1530 01:37:43,012 --> 01:37:45,845 Can you blame them? At least the May Day parade is over. 1531 01:37:45,915 --> 01:37:47,439 That's another thing. It's spring. 1532 01:37:47,517 --> 01:37:50,486 The same spring we had in Paris. Just as good. 1533 01:37:50,553 --> 01:37:52,783 - Even the swallows are back. - Really? 1534 01:37:52,855 --> 01:37:56,986 Yes, that's right. Maybe it's the same swallow we saw in Paris. 1535 01:37:57,528 --> 01:38:00,190 Yes, it is, Ninotchka. It is. 1536 01:38:00,264 --> 01:38:03,392 He must have been in Paris. You can see it in his whole attitude. 1537 01:38:03,467 --> 01:38:07,028 He picked up a crumb of our black bread, shook his head and dropped it. 1538 01:38:07,104 --> 01:38:10,506 We must be patient. Finally we got the spring, didn't we? 1539 01:38:10,575 --> 01:38:13,271 Let's forget the future. Let's stop being sentimental. 1540 01:38:13,345 --> 01:38:16,007 - Let's start that omelet. - That's right. 1541 01:38:16,081 --> 01:38:18,914 - Here is my egg. - And here is mine. 1542 01:38:18,984 --> 01:38:20,451 And here are mine. 1543 01:38:20,518 --> 01:38:23,716 I don't know where's my egg? I had an egg, too. 1544 01:38:25,891 --> 01:38:27,791 Comrades, I am out of the omelet. 1545 01:38:27,860 --> 01:38:30,328 - Don't worry, there'll be enough. - Of course, comrade. 1546 01:38:30,396 --> 01:38:32,694 - Thank you. - Now come over here. 1547 01:38:33,933 --> 01:38:36,959 Come, Ninotchka, let's make it in real Parisian style. 1548 01:38:37,036 --> 01:38:39,972 - Yeah. - Let's fill it with confiture des prunes. 1549 01:38:52,954 --> 01:38:54,751 A man like that. 1550 01:38:54,822 --> 01:38:58,258 All he has to do is walk through a room and the omelet drops. 1551 01:38:58,326 --> 01:38:59,418 Yes. 1552 01:39:47,211 --> 01:39:50,271 Comrade Yakushova, here, the postman left this letter for you. 1553 01:39:50,347 --> 01:39:51,838 Thank you, Vladimir. 1554 01:39:59,458 --> 01:40:02,291 - What is it, Ninotchka? - Ninotchka, what is it? 1555 01:40:02,360 --> 01:40:04,021 - It's from Paris. - From Paris? 1556 01:40:04,096 --> 01:40:05,859 - A bill? - From Leon. 1557 01:40:05,931 --> 01:40:08,696 - From Leon? - How is he, tell us? 1558 01:40:45,773 --> 01:40:47,035 Bad news? 1559 01:41:12,969 --> 01:41:15,301 Well, I think it's getting late. 1560 01:41:17,607 --> 01:41:19,472 Good night, Ninotchka. 1561 01:41:20,278 --> 01:41:22,405 Thanks for a wonderful dinner. 1562 01:41:25,449 --> 01:41:27,713 - Good night, Ninotchka. - Good night. 1563 01:41:28,486 --> 01:41:29,817 Good night. 1564 01:41:33,357 --> 01:41:36,350 They can't censor our memories, can they? 1565 01:41:37,262 --> 01:41:38,456 No. 1566 01:42:14,268 --> 01:42:15,599 Come in. 1567 01:42:23,011 --> 01:42:26,037 - Good morning, comrade. - Good morning, Comrade Commissar. 1568 01:42:26,114 --> 01:42:29,811 Here's my report on materials available for trading in the next four months. 1569 01:42:29,884 --> 01:42:32,318 Does it include products of the far eastern provinces? 1570 01:42:32,387 --> 01:42:35,448 - Yes, it does. - You've finished the whole investigation? 1571 01:42:35,758 --> 01:42:38,158 That's marvelous. You must have worked day and night. 1572 01:42:38,227 --> 01:42:41,025 - Don't you ever sleep? - I need very little sleep. 1573 01:42:41,097 --> 01:42:44,225 We must be extremely careful what goods we take in exchange. 1574 01:42:44,300 --> 01:42:47,167 I have already started a survey on our most urgent needs. 1575 01:42:47,236 --> 01:42:51,401 Comrade, I am afraid you will have to turn over that work to someone else. 1576 01:42:51,475 --> 01:42:52,942 May I ask why? 1577 01:42:53,477 --> 01:42:55,604 - Please sit down. - Thank you. 1578 01:42:56,179 --> 01:43:00,081 Now, comrade, have you heard from Kopalski, Buljanoff, and Iranoff? 1579 01:43:00,150 --> 01:43:01,583 - No. - I haven't either... 1580 01:43:01,652 --> 01:43:03,848 but I have heard about them. You must realize... 1581 01:43:03,921 --> 01:43:08,187 it was on the strength of your Paris report that I sent them to Constantinople. 1582 01:43:08,259 --> 01:43:10,454 Without that, I never would have trusted them... 1583 01:43:10,528 --> 01:43:12,689 on a mission as important as a fur deal. 1584 01:43:12,764 --> 01:43:14,254 May I ask what has happened? 1585 01:43:14,332 --> 01:43:17,791 If I told you what's going on in Constantinople right now... 1586 01:43:17,870 --> 01:43:19,394 you wouldn't believe it. 1587 01:43:19,471 --> 01:43:21,905 They are sitting there, those three, for six weeks... 1588 01:43:21,974 --> 01:43:24,033 and haven't sold a piece of fur. 1589 01:43:24,109 --> 01:43:26,441 This anonymous report was sent to me. 1590 01:43:26,512 --> 01:43:30,642 They are dragging the good name of our country through every caf� and nightclub. 1591 01:43:30,716 --> 01:43:35,120 Here. "How can the Bolshevik cause gain respect among the Moslems... 1592 01:43:35,188 --> 01:43:39,784 "if your three representatives, Buljanoff, Iranoff, and Kopalski get so drunk... 1593 01:43:39,859 --> 01:43:42,657 "that they throw a carpet out of their hotel window... 1594 01:43:42,729 --> 01:43:45,163 "and complain to the management that it didn't fly. " 1595 01:43:45,231 --> 01:43:47,359 Unbelievable! It's an outrage. 1596 01:43:47,935 --> 01:43:51,894 They shouldn't do such things. Are you sure this report's correct? 1597 01:43:51,972 --> 01:43:55,601 Naturally, I want to verify it, and that's why I need you. 1598 01:43:56,310 --> 01:44:00,007 - You want me to go to Constantinople? - Yes, leaving immediately. 1599 01:44:00,081 --> 01:44:02,482 I appreciate your confidence in me... 1600 01:44:02,551 --> 01:44:05,452 but I must ask you to entrust someone else with this mission. 1601 01:44:05,520 --> 01:44:08,011 I should hate to interrupt my present work. 1602 01:44:08,090 --> 01:44:10,354 I am positive my survey is more important... 1603 01:44:10,425 --> 01:44:13,223 than finding out whether three of our comrades have been... 1604 01:44:13,295 --> 01:44:15,058 drinking some extra glasses of champagne. 1605 01:44:15,130 --> 01:44:17,656 That is for me to decide, Comrade Yakushova. 1606 01:44:17,734 --> 01:44:21,465 I am sorry. I don't want to overstep my position... 1607 01:44:22,171 --> 01:44:25,698 but please don't send me. Please, comrade, let me stay here. 1608 01:44:25,775 --> 01:44:28,437 Let me finish my work. I'm in the rhythm of it now. 1609 01:44:28,511 --> 01:44:29,944 I don't want to go away. 1610 01:44:30,012 --> 01:44:32,811 I don't want to be sent into that foreign atmosphere again. 1611 01:44:32,883 --> 01:44:34,145 It throws you out of gear. 1612 01:44:34,218 --> 01:44:37,949 Let me finish my work. I have concentrated everything in it. 1613 01:44:38,188 --> 01:44:40,281 Please don't make me go. 1614 01:44:40,591 --> 01:44:44,357 Don't waste my time, comrade. Do your duty. Goodbye. 1615 01:44:45,696 --> 01:44:47,426 I shall do my best. 1616 01:45:29,476 --> 01:45:32,344 How do you like it, Ninotchka? Isn't it wonderful? 1617 01:45:32,413 --> 01:45:35,507 - Tell us, Ninotchka. - Buljanoff, Iranoff, Kopalski... 1618 01:45:35,583 --> 01:45:38,051 Now, please don't start figuring it out in cows. 1619 01:45:38,119 --> 01:45:40,212 You've done it again, and I'm responsible. 1620 01:45:40,288 --> 01:45:41,983 How can you forget yourselves this way? 1621 01:45:42,056 --> 01:45:44,320 You were sent here to make money not to spend it. 1622 01:45:44,392 --> 01:45:47,157 Buljanoff, she still has those old-fashioned ideas. 1623 01:45:47,229 --> 01:45:49,857 - It is high time she got out of Russia. - Comrades. 1624 01:45:49,932 --> 01:45:52,696 - I must be stern with you. - That's our old Ninotchka. 1625 01:45:52,768 --> 01:45:56,761 Don't forget the day will come when you will have to face Razinin. 1626 01:45:57,506 --> 01:45:59,441 Ninotchka! Razinin? 1627 01:46:00,109 --> 01:46:03,704 Good old Razinin. Is he still alive? How does he manage? 1628 01:46:04,280 --> 01:46:07,340 - Comrades... - Friends, Ninotchka, we are friends. 1629 01:46:07,417 --> 01:46:09,715 Imagine, we don't have to whisper any more. 1630 01:46:09,786 --> 01:46:11,515 No. We can say whatever we want. 1631 01:46:11,588 --> 01:46:14,183 We can shout, we can complain. Look. 1632 01:46:17,695 --> 01:46:20,323 The service in this hotel is terrible! 1633 01:46:21,932 --> 01:46:24,901 See? Nobody comes, nobody pays any attention. 1634 01:46:26,303 --> 01:46:28,567 - That's freedom. - That's bad management. 1635 01:46:28,639 --> 01:46:31,336 Is it possible to bring you back to reality for one moment? 1636 01:46:31,409 --> 01:46:34,242 I must have a complete report of your negotiations... 1637 01:46:34,312 --> 01:46:37,770 - and a detailed expense account. - No, don't ask for it. 1638 01:46:37,849 --> 01:46:39,783 There is a Turkish proverb which says: 1639 01:46:39,851 --> 01:46:42,149 "If something smells bad, why put your nose in it?" 1640 01:46:42,220 --> 01:46:43,779 And there is an old Russian saying: 1641 01:46:43,856 --> 01:46:47,155 "The cat who has cream on his whiskers had better find good excuses. " 1642 01:46:47,226 --> 01:46:48,750 With our cream situation as it is... 1643 01:46:48,828 --> 01:46:51,456 it's Russia that should apologize to the cats. 1644 01:46:51,864 --> 01:46:54,332 I don't know how I can get you out of it this time. 1645 01:46:54,400 --> 01:46:55,628 How will it end? 1646 01:46:55,701 --> 01:46:57,464 - Shall we tell her? - Yes. 1647 01:46:58,672 --> 01:47:01,903 - Ninotchka, I hope you'll be our guest. - Guest? 1648 01:47:02,042 --> 01:47:05,705 - Yes, we have opened a restaurant. - A restaurant? 1649 01:47:05,779 --> 01:47:08,247 We have a wonderful electric sign: 1650 01:47:08,315 --> 01:47:10,715 "Dine with Buljanoff, Iranoff, and Kopalski. " 1651 01:47:10,784 --> 01:47:12,878 You mean you're deserting Russia? 1652 01:47:13,054 --> 01:47:17,753 Ninotchka, don't call it desertion. Our little restaurant, that is our Russia. 1653 01:47:17,825 --> 01:47:21,124 The Russia of borscht, the Russia of beef stroganoff. 1654 01:47:21,195 --> 01:47:24,596 - Of blinis and sour cream. - The Russia of pirozhki. 1655 01:47:24,666 --> 01:47:28,159 - People will eat and love it. - We are not only serving good food... 1656 01:47:28,237 --> 01:47:31,206 we are serving our country. We are making friends. 1657 01:47:31,273 --> 01:47:34,834 Who gave you this idea? Who's responsible for all this? 1658 01:47:34,910 --> 01:47:38,710 There is something in Constantinople, something irresistible. 1659 01:47:38,781 --> 01:47:41,079 It's in the air. It may come around the corner... 1660 01:47:41,150 --> 01:47:43,984 - when you walk down the street. - It may step out of a bazaar. 1661 01:47:44,054 --> 01:47:48,115 It may be waiting for you in a corridor. It may hide in the shadow of a minaret. 1662 01:47:48,191 --> 01:47:50,284 And right now it's on the balcony. 1663 01:47:55,865 --> 01:47:59,029 They wouldn't let me in, so I had to get you out. 1664 01:48:06,310 --> 01:48:10,508 So you're behind all this. I should have known. 1665 01:48:28,901 --> 01:48:31,267 Trying to keep me away from you. 1666 01:48:31,671 --> 01:48:33,866 As though that were possible. 1667 01:48:34,440 --> 01:48:38,672 Naturally, I couldn't go on forever punching passport officials in the nose... 1668 01:48:38,745 --> 01:48:40,576 but I found a way, didn't I? 1669 01:48:40,680 --> 01:48:43,115 Darling, I had to see you. I wrote and wrote. 1670 01:48:43,183 --> 01:48:44,912 And all my letters came back to me. 1671 01:48:44,985 --> 01:48:47,681 And the one I got, they wouldn't let me read. 1672 01:48:47,988 --> 01:48:50,855 It began, "Ninotchka, my darling"... 1673 01:48:50,924 --> 01:48:53,392 and it ended "Yours, Leon. " 1674 01:48:54,628 --> 01:48:57,189 I won't tell you what came between. 1675 01:48:57,265 --> 01:48:59,460 I'll show you, I'll prove it. 1676 01:49:00,769 --> 01:49:03,067 But it'll take a long time, Ninotchka. 1677 01:49:04,039 --> 01:49:05,802 At least a lifetime. 1678 01:49:07,108 --> 01:49:10,305 But, Leon, I'm only here for a few days. 1679 01:49:11,180 --> 01:49:15,310 All right, if you don't stay with me, then I'll have to continue my fight. 1680 01:49:15,685 --> 01:49:17,983 I'll travel wherever there are Russian commissions. 1681 01:49:18,054 --> 01:49:20,921 I'll turn them all into Iranoffs, Buljanoffs, and Kopalskis. 1682 01:49:20,990 --> 01:49:23,424 The world will be crowded with Russian restaurants. 1683 01:49:23,492 --> 01:49:25,393 I'll depopulate Russia. 1684 01:49:25,462 --> 01:49:29,592 Comrade, once you saved your country by going back. 1685 01:49:30,801 --> 01:49:33,497 This time you can only save it by staying here. 1686 01:49:35,405 --> 01:49:38,636 Well, if it is a choice between my personal interest... 1687 01:49:38,709 --> 01:49:42,146 and the good of my country, how can I waver? 1688 01:49:42,847 --> 01:49:46,305 No one shall say Ninotchka was a bad Russian. 1689 01:49:47,151 --> 01:49:47,810 Darling.