1 00:01:09,693 --> 00:01:14,698 Provided by explosiveskull https://twitter.com/kaboomskull 2 00:02:45,166 --> 00:02:47,902 Hello, Three? All clear. Bring it in. 3 00:05:21,355 --> 00:05:22,623 Brigade. 4 00:05:23,457 --> 00:05:25,860 Once more unto the breach. 5 00:05:26,894 --> 00:05:28,129 Yes, chef. 6 00:06:17,744 --> 00:06:19,712 Where the fuck am I? 7 00:07:23,877 --> 00:07:26,413 - Look, it's Diana. - Excuse me. 8 00:07:27,314 --> 00:07:29,883 I'm looking for somewhere. 9 00:07:29,917 --> 00:07:32,052 I've absolutely no idea where I am. 10 00:07:39,026 --> 00:07:40,461 There are no signs anywhere. 11 00:07:44,365 --> 00:07:45,399 Where am I? 12 00:08:35,983 --> 00:08:37,051 Right. 13 00:08:42,122 --> 00:08:44,291 "Half my weight's in jewellery, anyway." 14 00:08:47,662 --> 00:08:50,030 Do you remember when she said that? 15 00:08:50,064 --> 00:08:52,900 I wasn't here, but I heard about it. 16 00:08:52,933 --> 00:08:54,835 Is she here yet? 17 00:08:56,370 --> 00:08:58,038 Not yet, Ma'am, no. 18 00:08:58,305 --> 00:08:59,973 Then she's late. 19 00:09:02,644 --> 00:09:04,211 And he is early. 20 00:09:10,084 --> 00:09:11,885 And yet she is late. 21 00:09:14,221 --> 00:09:16,156 Well, well, well. 22 00:10:27,461 --> 00:10:28,663 Excuse me! 23 00:10:45,712 --> 00:10:48,248 What the bloody hell are you doing here, Diana? 24 00:10:48,749 --> 00:10:51,452 Sorry, I mean... Your Royal Highness. 25 00:10:54,221 --> 00:10:55,155 I'm lost. 26 00:10:57,491 --> 00:11:00,961 But if it's you, I must be close, yes? 27 00:11:01,462 --> 00:11:03,330 Yeah, the house is just there but... 28 00:11:03,764 --> 00:11:05,499 why are you driving yourself? 29 00:11:06,333 --> 00:11:08,335 Well, cars don't drive on their own. 30 00:11:09,736 --> 00:11:10,638 No. 31 00:11:11,738 --> 00:11:14,475 Where's your driver? Where's your security detail? 32 00:11:14,775 --> 00:11:16,243 I don't know 33 00:11:17,478 --> 00:11:19,446 I was in the café in Kensington giving some presents and... 34 00:11:19,713 --> 00:11:21,515 I thought I might just... 35 00:11:22,216 --> 00:11:23,217 drive. 36 00:11:24,518 --> 00:11:25,486 Do they know? 37 00:11:26,119 --> 00:11:27,020 No. 38 00:11:28,388 --> 00:11:29,523 I just drove. 39 00:11:31,525 --> 00:11:33,427 Well, anyway. 40 00:11:34,261 --> 00:11:35,229 Hello again. 41 00:11:36,698 --> 00:11:37,699 Hello, Darren. 42 00:11:40,067 --> 00:11:41,301 Is everybody there? 43 00:11:41,335 --> 00:11:44,137 Well, apart from Her Majesty, yeah. 44 00:11:44,639 --> 00:11:45,640 Perfect. 45 00:11:49,776 --> 00:11:51,545 Look. 46 00:11:52,079 --> 00:11:53,146 Of course. 47 00:11:53,648 --> 00:11:55,115 Now I know where I am. 48 00:11:56,618 --> 00:11:58,218 We used to call him Bertie. 49 00:12:00,120 --> 00:12:02,189 I think that's my father's coat he's wearing. 50 00:12:03,790 --> 00:12:06,159 We used to live just over that hill. 51 00:12:06,694 --> 00:12:09,062 Papa used to give the farmer his old clothes. 52 00:12:14,836 --> 00:12:18,539 Gosh, how could I get lost in a place where I used to play? 53 00:12:18,572 --> 00:12:20,608 We should really get going. 54 00:12:23,510 --> 00:12:25,445 Will they kill me, do you think? 55 00:12:26,614 --> 00:12:28,215 I'm going to check. 56 00:12:28,248 --> 00:12:29,550 Check what? 57 00:12:29,750 --> 00:12:32,085 Look, it's sandwiches in 15 minutes. 58 00:12:32,119 --> 00:12:33,754 - It's Papa's, I'm sure of it. - Wait. 59 00:12:34,221 --> 00:12:37,190 Say there was a big tractor broken down or something, eh? 60 00:12:37,224 --> 00:12:38,358 Say you got lost. 61 00:12:38,559 --> 00:12:39,426 Anything. 62 00:12:40,595 --> 00:12:42,529 It's too late for trying broken tractors on them. 63 00:14:10,450 --> 00:14:11,752 Her Majesty. 64 00:14:13,888 --> 00:14:15,222 Your Royal Highness. 65 00:15:31,398 --> 00:15:32,399 Hello. 66 00:15:35,803 --> 00:15:36,737 No. 67 00:15:37,471 --> 00:15:38,940 Gary usually lets me off. 68 00:15:39,539 --> 00:15:41,374 Gary, Your Royal Highness? 69 00:15:41,408 --> 00:15:44,444 The normal page. The usual Christmas page. 70 00:15:44,478 --> 00:15:46,647 We have a thing between us, an understanding. 71 00:15:47,081 --> 00:15:49,483 I don't usually do the getting-weighed thing. 72 00:15:49,516 --> 00:15:51,351 I'm half jewellery, anyway. 73 00:15:51,384 --> 00:15:52,786 That's what I always say. 74 00:15:54,755 --> 00:15:55,857 I'm not, though. 75 00:15:56,090 --> 00:15:58,325 - It's a joke. - Ma'am. 76 00:15:58,893 --> 00:16:01,896 Her Majesty herself just a second ago sat on these scales. 77 00:16:02,496 --> 00:16:05,532 And she was very insistent that everyone joins in. 78 00:16:05,565 --> 00:16:09,003 - I don't think I've seen you before. - This is my first Sandringham duty. 79 00:16:09,736 --> 00:16:11,538 To make sure everyone joins in. 80 00:16:12,006 --> 00:16:14,942 They said no one is above tradition. 81 00:16:16,978 --> 00:16:18,311 Okay, fine. 82 00:16:18,613 --> 00:16:19,847 I'm in enough trouble. 83 00:16:27,721 --> 00:16:30,323 We have to put on three pounds minimum before we leave 84 00:16:30,691 --> 00:16:32,860 to prove we enjoyed Christmas, yes? 85 00:16:33,560 --> 00:16:34,962 That is the tradition. 86 00:16:35,963 --> 00:16:39,332 It was Prince Albert in 1847 who began it. 87 00:16:40,567 --> 00:16:43,838 - It's meant to be a bit of fun. - Well, it is, it's a lovely bit of fun. 88 00:16:44,071 --> 00:16:46,674 I'll do what I can. But no promises. 89 00:16:47,407 --> 00:16:49,509 I'm always catching up, always. 90 00:16:52,647 --> 00:16:54,582 - They're all here, aren't they? - Yes. 91 00:16:56,617 --> 00:16:57,751 Mm. 92 00:16:59,486 --> 00:17:00,621 What happened? 93 00:17:00,855 --> 00:17:02,089 A tractor broken down. 94 00:17:02,123 --> 00:17:05,325 I had to help mend it. My fingernails. 95 00:17:06,661 --> 00:17:09,931 - Is the bedroom cold again this year? - Yes, it is. 96 00:17:09,964 --> 00:17:13,034 I always tell them. They never listen. 97 00:17:13,067 --> 00:17:16,770 - Ma'am, if the bedroom's cold... - The bedroom's always cold. 98 00:17:16,804 --> 00:17:18,973 It's a bit of fun. Tradition. 99 00:17:19,406 --> 00:17:21,075 I will have more blankets delivered. 100 00:17:21,108 --> 00:17:23,543 Why don't they just turn up the heating 101 00:17:23,578 --> 00:17:25,545 instead of burying everyone in blankets? 102 00:17:25,745 --> 00:17:27,682 - It's every year I say it. - Mummy? 103 00:17:27,982 --> 00:17:30,618 What? Oh, look at you! 104 00:17:30,651 --> 00:17:32,419 -Mummy, I'm cold. 105 00:17:32,452 --> 00:17:35,056 Who gave you this big, hilarious coat? 106 00:17:35,089 --> 00:17:36,756 It's from the storeroom, Ma'am. 107 00:17:36,790 --> 00:17:39,526 His Royal Highness kept saying he was cold. 108 00:17:39,559 --> 00:17:40,895 Instead of heating... 109 00:17:41,128 --> 00:17:44,599 they've dressed you up like Winston Churchill. 110 00:17:46,601 --> 00:17:48,035 Your Royal Highness. 111 00:17:48,069 --> 00:17:51,471 The family are all gathered in the drawing room for the sandwiches. 112 00:17:51,504 --> 00:17:52,640 They are waiting. 113 00:17:55,442 --> 00:17:56,677 The sandwiches. 114 00:17:58,145 --> 00:18:00,047 The sandwiches. The holy sandwiches. 115 00:18:01,148 --> 00:18:02,382 Good. 116 00:18:03,450 --> 00:18:04,619 To the sandwiches. 117 00:18:05,686 --> 00:18:07,054 I'll be there in a minute. 118 00:18:08,455 --> 00:18:09,556 Ma'am. 119 00:19:23,698 --> 00:19:25,066 Three days. 120 00:19:26,867 --> 00:19:28,002 That's it. 121 00:19:39,746 --> 00:19:41,248 Maggie. 122 00:19:44,919 --> 00:19:46,954 Oh my God. Didn't they tell you? 123 00:19:48,189 --> 00:19:50,958 I've got you again. I bagged you. 124 00:19:51,659 --> 00:19:53,627 They gave me to you because I insisted. 125 00:19:54,328 --> 00:19:55,663 Good. 126 00:19:56,297 --> 00:19:57,598 Hope. 127 00:20:01,836 --> 00:20:03,770 These are your dresses for the whole thing. 128 00:20:06,874 --> 00:20:09,143 I have to run. Listen... 129 00:20:09,977 --> 00:20:11,579 I've left a coat in my car. 130 00:20:11,879 --> 00:20:14,015 I want you to clean it, sew it up, 131 00:20:14,048 --> 00:20:15,249 whatever it needs. 132 00:20:16,117 --> 00:20:18,718 A coat from where, Ma'am? 133 00:20:19,854 --> 00:20:21,554 Ancient history. 134 00:20:21,589 --> 00:20:22,857 Whose ancient history? 135 00:20:23,290 --> 00:20:24,692 Spencer. 136 00:20:40,608 --> 00:20:41,909 I was always last back. 137 00:20:42,176 --> 00:20:43,777 Always late for everything. 138 00:20:45,012 --> 00:20:48,115 I'd get home half an hour after the others and... 139 00:20:48,149 --> 00:20:49,716 everyone would just laugh. 140 00:20:51,751 --> 00:20:54,321 I'd actually forgotten all about the scarecrow until today. 141 00:20:55,022 --> 00:20:57,124 I can't believe he's still watching over us. 142 00:20:59,193 --> 00:21:00,727 How can he watch us? 143 00:21:02,897 --> 00:21:05,833 Ma'am, they're about to open the presents. 144 00:21:05,866 --> 00:21:07,034 Yes, coming. 145 00:21:08,803 --> 00:21:09,937 Mummy, 146 00:21:11,105 --> 00:21:13,808 why do we have to open our presents on Christmas Eve? 147 00:21:14,842 --> 00:21:16,944 Why not Christmas Day like everybody else? 148 00:21:17,945 --> 00:21:20,747 - You know at school you do tenses? - Yeah. 149 00:21:20,780 --> 00:21:23,217 There's the past, the present, future. 150 00:21:23,250 --> 00:21:24,318 Right. 151 00:21:24,819 --> 00:21:26,987 Well here, there is only one tense. 152 00:21:27,787 --> 00:21:29,156 There is no future. 153 00:21:29,990 --> 00:21:32,126 The past and the present are the same thing. 154 00:21:32,693 --> 00:21:35,029 Daddy told Harry it's because Father Christmas 155 00:21:35,062 --> 00:21:37,965 does queens and kings the day before everybody else 156 00:21:38,299 --> 00:21:40,034 so that we get the best presents. 157 00:21:40,067 --> 00:21:42,036 - It's true. - He still believes it. 158 00:21:42,069 --> 00:21:43,270 What? 159 00:21:43,304 --> 00:21:45,306 Actually, that was my little fabrication. 160 00:21:45,339 --> 00:21:46,941 I believe Mummy. 161 00:21:47,707 --> 00:21:49,643 Daddy did confirm it, though. 162 00:21:49,677 --> 00:21:51,846 Oh, if Daddy confirmed it, then it must be true. 163 00:21:51,879 --> 00:21:53,347 Yes, of course it is. 164 00:21:53,881 --> 00:21:56,217 You two are both gonna get coal for Christmas. 165 00:21:57,818 --> 00:21:59,987 Can we go to the house where you used to live? 166 00:22:00,020 --> 00:22:01,155 It's boarded up. 167 00:22:02,156 --> 00:22:03,891 It's dangerous, apparently. 168 00:22:03,924 --> 00:22:06,260 They said, "It's dangerous, you know?" 169 00:22:06,793 --> 00:22:09,230 - Aww. - In those voices, like doors closing. 170 00:22:09,263 --> 00:22:11,065 Did Granny order that? 171 00:22:12,933 --> 00:22:14,802 Ma'am, the others are waiting. 172 00:22:14,835 --> 00:22:17,171 Okay, you go. I'll join you in a minute. Come on. 173 00:22:19,807 --> 00:22:21,876 Do you like them getting cross with you? 174 00:22:21,909 --> 00:22:23,177 Yes, terribly. 175 00:22:23,978 --> 00:22:25,179 Mummy, 176 00:22:25,212 --> 00:22:26,347 what's happened? 177 00:22:27,114 --> 00:22:28,748 It's Christmas. 178 00:22:28,781 --> 00:22:30,717 Everything waits until after Christmas. 179 00:22:31,018 --> 00:22:32,086 Go on. 180 00:22:43,330 --> 00:22:44,899 Fuck. 181 00:23:10,024 --> 00:23:11,425 There. 182 00:23:27,374 --> 00:23:28,708 What do you think? 183 00:23:29,210 --> 00:23:31,212 Very beautiful, Your Royal Highness. 184 00:23:31,545 --> 00:23:32,745 Mm. 185 00:23:37,151 --> 00:23:39,786 - It's Martha, isn't it? - Maria, Ma'am. 186 00:23:39,820 --> 00:23:40,854 Oh. 187 00:23:43,324 --> 00:23:45,159 My husband doesn't know it, but... 188 00:23:46,460 --> 00:23:48,095 I saw a photo and... 189 00:23:48,329 --> 00:23:50,898 she was wearing exactly the same pearls. 190 00:23:52,533 --> 00:23:54,468 He bought exactly the same for her. 191 00:23:55,903 --> 00:23:57,271 But he doesn't even realise. 192 00:24:00,507 --> 00:24:01,976 It's why I left them. 193 00:24:02,009 --> 00:24:03,143 As a gesture. 194 00:24:07,047 --> 00:24:08,282 They are beautiful. 195 00:24:11,118 --> 00:24:13,087 It's not the pearls' fault, is it? 196 00:24:13,120 --> 00:24:14,989 No, Ma'am. 197 00:24:17,191 --> 00:24:19,159 If I gave them to you, would you take them? 198 00:24:23,831 --> 00:24:24,832 No. 199 00:24:25,866 --> 00:24:27,534 No, she couldn't possibly think of it, Ma'am. 200 00:24:28,902 --> 00:24:31,005 I'm told there's a dress to go with them. 201 00:24:31,038 --> 00:24:32,406 I'm told it's all set. 202 00:24:33,340 --> 00:24:34,875 You know? All set. 203 00:24:36,543 --> 00:24:38,545 As if everything's already happened. 204 00:25:40,107 --> 00:25:44,211 Papa, didn't you say that we Spencers were distantly related to Anne Boleyn? 205 00:25:46,213 --> 00:25:47,582 Yes, I read all about her. 206 00:25:49,350 --> 00:25:50,551 They even wrote a poem. 207 00:25:53,320 --> 00:25:55,022 "She married the King of England 208 00:25:55,522 --> 00:25:57,391 "And the King chopped off her head 209 00:25:58,959 --> 00:26:00,427 "Because he met another woman 210 00:26:01,596 --> 00:26:03,263 "And wanted her to be Queen... 211 00:26:04,998 --> 00:26:06,100 "instead." 212 00:26:42,269 --> 00:26:43,337 Who is it? 213 00:26:43,537 --> 00:26:44,972 It's Maggie, Ma'am. 214 00:26:46,540 --> 00:26:47,908 Well, come. 215 00:26:49,243 --> 00:26:50,444 Emergency. 216 00:26:54,515 --> 00:26:56,183 Gosh, thank God it's you. 217 00:26:56,984 --> 00:26:57,985 Look. 218 00:26:58,018 --> 00:26:59,687 Emergency, why? It looks beautiful. 219 00:27:00,254 --> 00:27:02,990 - But it doesn't fit. - Have you tried it on? 220 00:27:03,023 --> 00:27:04,391 No, with my mood. 221 00:27:04,425 --> 00:27:06,527 It... It doesn't fit in with my mood. 222 00:27:07,127 --> 00:27:10,564 Should be black. Black, to contrast the pearls. 223 00:27:17,171 --> 00:27:20,107 Not only did I rescue it from a scarecrow, 224 00:27:20,675 --> 00:27:22,242 I'm talking to it. 225 00:27:23,343 --> 00:27:25,647 All rumours of my disintegration confirmed. 226 00:27:31,084 --> 00:27:32,654 You know, the dust in this house... 227 00:27:34,421 --> 00:27:36,957 almost certainly contains the dead skin of every person who's ever stayed in it. 228 00:27:38,025 --> 00:27:39,694 This was once Queen Victoria's room. 229 00:27:40,561 --> 00:27:42,963 So it will have her skin floating in the air. 230 00:27:44,632 --> 00:27:47,234 She wore black for forty years after her husband died. 231 00:27:48,603 --> 00:27:50,304 That's love, isn't it? 232 00:27:50,337 --> 00:27:53,474 Well, there's no need to wear black because no one has died. 233 00:27:57,645 --> 00:28:00,013 - I've put on weight. - No, you've lost weight. 234 00:28:00,247 --> 00:28:02,684 There's up or down. It's not an issue of debate. 235 00:28:03,116 --> 00:28:04,718 Remember, we used to talk. 236 00:28:05,319 --> 00:28:07,622 They fill your eggs with princes and ride away. 237 00:28:08,623 --> 00:28:10,123 That's fine. 238 00:28:10,424 --> 00:28:11,725 It's just fine. 239 00:28:11,758 --> 00:28:13,193 Oh, fuck it. 240 00:28:14,596 --> 00:28:16,029 I will wear the dress. 241 00:28:16,563 --> 00:28:18,098 With the pearls. 242 00:28:18,131 --> 00:28:19,199 Good. 243 00:28:19,634 --> 00:28:21,001 Good choice. 244 00:28:21,735 --> 00:28:23,370 Because I'm too weak to insist on black. 245 00:28:23,403 --> 00:28:24,505 Please. 246 00:28:25,607 --> 00:28:27,140 - It will be fine. - Yes, it will be fine. 247 00:28:28,175 --> 00:28:29,343 Good. 248 00:28:29,644 --> 00:28:32,412 You'll be in the world, in some pub. Laughing. 249 00:28:33,547 --> 00:28:36,149 And I will be in a field full of fucking landmines. 250 00:28:36,750 --> 00:28:39,520 So stand very still and smile a lot. 251 00:28:39,821 --> 00:28:42,422 In this house, everyone can hear everything. 252 00:28:42,624 --> 00:28:44,659 Yes, even your thoughts. 253 00:28:44,692 --> 00:28:46,093 Who is that new chap? 254 00:28:46,694 --> 00:28:48,328 He can read your thoughts. 255 00:28:48,362 --> 00:28:50,832 Yes, they're getting quite serious. 256 00:28:50,865 --> 00:28:54,334 - About? - They're getting serious about you. 257 00:28:55,569 --> 00:28:57,104 It is concern. 258 00:28:57,571 --> 00:28:59,072 Yes, concern. 259 00:28:59,674 --> 00:29:01,475 Suggesting compassion. 260 00:29:02,409 --> 00:29:04,211 Why wouldn't they be concerned? 261 00:29:04,711 --> 00:29:06,146 I'm half gone. 262 00:29:06,446 --> 00:29:08,315 - Gone where? - I don't know. 263 00:29:10,417 --> 00:29:12,119 Today, I nearly just... 264 00:29:12,887 --> 00:29:14,589 nearly just kept driving. 265 00:29:17,825 --> 00:29:20,527 This year they insisted on weighing me. 266 00:29:23,698 --> 00:29:25,299 Just a bit of fun. 267 00:29:25,900 --> 00:29:27,501 They can't change. 268 00:29:28,201 --> 00:29:29,503 You have to change. 269 00:29:30,737 --> 00:29:34,074 I mean, the weighing, yes, that is just that. 270 00:29:34,642 --> 00:29:35,810 A bit of fun. 271 00:29:35,843 --> 00:29:38,846 But don't see conspiracy everywhere. 272 00:29:39,581 --> 00:29:41,683 Don't behave the way the say you behave. 273 00:29:42,316 --> 00:29:43,818 You make it easy for them. 274 00:29:44,819 --> 00:29:46,420 Easy for them to do what? 275 00:29:47,220 --> 00:29:48,221 Well, say it. 276 00:29:48,522 --> 00:29:50,290 Just look gorgeous. 277 00:29:50,791 --> 00:29:53,560 I know about the pearls. I know he gave the same to her. 278 00:29:53,760 --> 00:29:56,296 I understand why you're like this. 279 00:29:58,799 --> 00:30:01,669 - It's deliberate. - No, no. 280 00:30:02,169 --> 00:30:03,303 He just forgets. 281 00:30:03,805 --> 00:30:05,238 But wear them anyway. 282 00:30:06,540 --> 00:30:08,610 And in your beauty, he will remember. 283 00:30:09,409 --> 00:30:11,311 I don't care if he fucking remembers. 284 00:30:12,379 --> 00:30:14,381 Then only remember you're beautiful. 285 00:30:15,382 --> 00:30:16,717 Don't let that go. 286 00:30:17,384 --> 00:30:18,653 Beauty is useless. 287 00:30:20,520 --> 00:30:21,689 Beauty is clothing. 288 00:30:29,897 --> 00:30:33,533 Prepare the tureens, warm the bowls. Please. Hush, hush, no noise. 289 00:30:33,567 --> 00:30:36,671 Stay on on your feet! 290 00:30:36,703 --> 00:30:38,305 They can hear us. 291 00:30:38,606 --> 00:30:40,707 Pitter, patter, soft words. 292 00:30:40,741 --> 00:30:45,379 Fingers out of saucers, you sons and you daughters of bitches. 293 00:30:45,412 --> 00:30:48,916 And we blanch the nettles or they will sting us. 294 00:30:51,619 --> 00:30:55,923 Brigade, we make everything the best it can be. 295 00:30:55,957 --> 00:30:58,826 I want our Princess of Wales 296 00:31:00,327 --> 00:31:01,663 to want something. 297 00:31:03,230 --> 00:31:04,364 Service. 298 00:36:19,981 --> 00:36:21,015 Ma'am? 299 00:36:21,582 --> 00:36:22,749 It's dessert. 300 00:36:23,851 --> 00:36:25,785 - They're waiting for you. - Yes, I know. 301 00:37:46,901 --> 00:37:48,869 Still hungry, Ma'am? 302 00:37:59,814 --> 00:38:01,082 Who are you... 303 00:38:01,649 --> 00:38:02,817 exactly? 304 00:38:04,085 --> 00:38:06,654 I'm usually at Clarence House, drafted in for this occasion. 305 00:38:06,921 --> 00:38:08,656 I'm the Queen Mother's equerry. 306 00:38:11,859 --> 00:38:12,960 Before that? 307 00:38:14,428 --> 00:38:17,198 I was an officer. In a regiment called the Black Watch. 308 00:38:18,399 --> 00:38:19,900 And that's what you do. 309 00:38:20,434 --> 00:38:21,335 You watch. 310 00:38:22,870 --> 00:38:25,139 Mostly I'm here because of the press. 311 00:38:26,739 --> 00:38:30,311 It was felt we needed to be on guard because of all the silly attention 312 00:38:30,743 --> 00:38:32,880 that your Royal Highness is attracting. 313 00:38:32,913 --> 00:38:34,381 Yes, I'm a magnet for madness. 314 00:38:35,916 --> 00:38:37,284 Other people's madness. 315 00:38:37,784 --> 00:38:39,887 I have military experience. 316 00:38:39,920 --> 00:38:44,791 Part of my remit is the security within the grounds of Sandringham House. 317 00:38:45,725 --> 00:38:47,094 To keep photographers away. 318 00:38:47,862 --> 00:38:49,230 Foreigners, you know? 319 00:38:51,198 --> 00:38:53,400 One of the men reported back today that they saw you 320 00:38:53,434 --> 00:38:56,003 dressing and undressing with your curtains open. 321 00:38:57,171 --> 00:38:59,974 If there had been a photographer... 322 00:39:02,276 --> 00:39:03,677 Now you really watch. 323 00:39:04,478 --> 00:39:07,314 I watch to make sure that others do not see. 324 00:39:08,748 --> 00:39:11,751 Their lenses are terribly powerful these days, Ma'am. 325 00:39:12,019 --> 00:39:14,688 Their lenses are more like microscopes, actually. 326 00:39:16,756 --> 00:39:18,893 And I am the insect in the dish. 327 00:39:20,895 --> 00:39:23,330 You see, they're pulling my wings and my legs off. 328 00:39:24,398 --> 00:39:27,334 One by one. Making notes on how I react. 329 00:39:29,436 --> 00:39:32,772 "Oh, she really does make a fuss this one, doesn't she?" 330 00:39:34,909 --> 00:39:35,976 Not like Anne Boleyn... 331 00:39:38,179 --> 00:39:41,348 who offered her head to the tweezers with such grace. 332 00:39:44,185 --> 00:39:46,854 I just wanted to be sure you were feeling all right. 333 00:39:47,855 --> 00:39:50,024 And give you that word of warning. 334 00:39:51,158 --> 00:39:52,426 I will feel all right. 335 00:39:54,061 --> 00:39:55,896 If you go away. Please. 336 00:39:56,397 --> 00:39:57,464 Very well. 337 00:39:58,399 --> 00:39:59,732 But please... 338 00:40:00,034 --> 00:40:02,403 - keep your curtains... - Close my curtains. 339 00:40:03,204 --> 00:40:04,305 Yes. 340 00:40:06,373 --> 00:40:07,474 Maybe. 341 00:40:08,909 --> 00:40:09,910 No. 342 00:40:11,412 --> 00:40:13,881 Depending on lots of things. Hmm. 343 00:40:18,419 --> 00:40:20,487 Oh. 344 00:40:21,522 --> 00:40:22,957 It's gone midnight. 345 00:40:23,790 --> 00:40:24,791 So... 346 00:40:25,893 --> 00:40:27,161 Happy Christmas. 347 00:40:27,828 --> 00:40:29,029 Happy Christmas. 348 00:41:43,370 --> 00:41:45,172 Who is this? 349 00:41:45,205 --> 00:41:46,974 Hands on your head! 350 00:41:47,441 --> 00:41:49,176 Sorry. 351 00:41:49,209 --> 00:41:50,210 It's me. 352 00:41:53,047 --> 00:41:54,582 Your Royal Highness, apologies. 353 00:41:54,616 --> 00:41:56,183 We thought you were... 354 00:41:56,216 --> 00:41:58,552 Can I take my hands off my head? 355 00:41:59,153 --> 00:42:01,422 Of course. Sorry, Ma'am. 356 00:42:01,455 --> 00:42:02,890 I used to live there. 357 00:42:03,490 --> 00:42:04,558 I grew up there. 358 00:42:05,526 --> 00:42:07,161 Came to have a look. 359 00:42:07,194 --> 00:42:11,398 Ma'am, according to the rules, if we have an encounter, we have to report it. 360 00:42:12,032 --> 00:42:13,133 With me? 361 00:42:13,534 --> 00:42:14,636 With anyone. 362 00:42:14,669 --> 00:42:18,105 I'd like it if you didn't report this encounter. 363 00:42:19,206 --> 00:42:20,274 Just... 364 00:42:20,642 --> 00:42:22,209 say you saw a ghost. 365 00:42:23,310 --> 00:42:25,346 Are you warm enough, Ma'am? 366 00:42:25,913 --> 00:42:27,114 Not really. 367 00:42:28,182 --> 00:42:29,917 They won't turn the heating up. 368 00:42:32,519 --> 00:42:35,155 - I'll go back. - We'll escort you. 369 00:42:35,456 --> 00:42:38,058 - Why? - There are photographers. 370 00:42:38,325 --> 00:42:41,929 Well, perhaps they just want to take photos of what's really going on. 371 00:42:42,463 --> 00:42:44,431 2323, anyone there? 372 00:42:45,065 --> 00:42:46,066 Joe, is anyone there? 373 00:42:46,500 --> 00:42:48,235 No, nothing at all. 374 00:42:48,535 --> 00:42:50,070 No one, all clear. 375 00:43:28,175 --> 00:43:30,043 Mummy, you're freezing. 376 00:43:32,012 --> 00:43:33,480 I tried to escape. 377 00:43:33,514 --> 00:43:34,682 Got captured. 378 00:43:38,552 --> 00:43:39,953 This one's for you. 379 00:43:42,256 --> 00:43:44,291 - What is it? - Not telling you. 380 00:43:44,758 --> 00:43:48,162 Open it in the morning. Christmas morning, like normal people. 381 00:43:48,596 --> 00:43:50,598 Don't tell anyone. 382 00:43:50,632 --> 00:43:54,034 - Okay. - I can hear you both talking, you know? 383 00:43:55,702 --> 00:43:57,704 - And I'm still cold. - Oh. 384 00:43:58,472 --> 00:44:00,274 When you're cold, 385 00:44:00,307 --> 00:44:01,708 you light a fire. 386 00:44:05,045 --> 00:44:06,113 For you. 387 00:44:09,216 --> 00:44:10,717 Let's play. Come on. 388 00:44:11,619 --> 00:44:12,719 Attention. 389 00:44:14,622 --> 00:44:17,090 I'll be the major. You be the soldiers. 390 00:44:18,158 --> 00:44:19,460 This game is silly. 391 00:44:19,493 --> 00:44:21,629 Because you're hopeless at it. 392 00:44:21,663 --> 00:44:22,529 Soldier William. 393 00:44:25,098 --> 00:44:27,034 Best thing about Christmas so far? 394 00:44:27,734 --> 00:44:30,070 - Best thing... - And it has to be the truth. 395 00:44:30,537 --> 00:44:33,641 Best thing about Christmas so far is being with the family, Sir. 396 00:44:35,542 --> 00:44:38,145 Soldier, I said I wanted the truth. 397 00:44:38,178 --> 00:44:39,713 - Soldier. - Sorry, Sir. 398 00:44:40,481 --> 00:44:41,548 Presents, Sir. 399 00:44:42,851 --> 00:44:44,518 Sir, presents are the only good thing about Christmas, Sir. 400 00:44:45,854 --> 00:44:48,188 - Not if you can't open them. - That's true. 401 00:44:49,723 --> 00:44:52,326 Soldier Harry. Best part of Christmas so far? 402 00:44:52,559 --> 00:44:55,028 And I know I'll get the truth from you, Sir. 403 00:44:55,362 --> 00:44:57,498 When you arrived, Mummy, Sir. 404 00:44:59,333 --> 00:45:01,401 - Thank you, Sir. - My turn. 405 00:45:01,836 --> 00:45:04,037 Major William to Soldier Diana. 406 00:45:04,238 --> 00:45:06,473 Tell the Major what's happened to make you so sad. 407 00:45:07,374 --> 00:45:09,243 Sir. Don't know what you mean, Sir. 408 00:45:09,510 --> 00:45:12,379 I want the truth, Soldier. 409 00:45:12,412 --> 00:45:13,480 Sir. 410 00:45:14,481 --> 00:45:15,382 The past, Sir. 411 00:45:16,116 --> 00:45:18,051 I think it's the present, Soldier. 412 00:45:20,354 --> 00:45:22,089 I think it's in the future. 413 00:45:25,559 --> 00:45:28,161 Mummy, I actually have to open this or I'll be sick. 414 00:45:28,462 --> 00:45:30,397 For God's sake, then open it. 415 00:45:33,433 --> 00:45:35,469 Major William to Soldier Diana. 416 00:45:36,203 --> 00:45:38,438 Um... What's your favourite colour? 417 00:45:38,472 --> 00:45:40,407 - What... What's your favourite... - Sir, pink. 418 00:45:40,440 --> 00:45:42,209 No, um... Favourite food? 419 00:45:42,242 --> 00:45:46,513 Um... Pink, pink... um... hippopotamus cake, spotted. 420 00:45:47,114 --> 00:45:49,550 - What's your favourite animal, Soldier? - Oh... 421 00:45:49,584 --> 00:45:51,418 Lobster. 422 00:45:52,719 --> 00:45:55,155 - Lobster. - Why did you get me a lobster? 423 00:45:55,623 --> 00:45:59,192 Um... Because it's red like your cheeks, Sir. 424 00:45:59,226 --> 00:46:03,598 And it was flown from... um... 425 00:46:03,631 --> 00:46:06,400 It was flown from Santa's home all the way... 426 00:46:06,433 --> 00:46:07,602 Um... 427 00:46:07,635 --> 00:46:10,137 It's... it's Santa's... lobster. 428 00:46:10,170 --> 00:46:11,705 It's Santa's lobster, Sir. 429 00:46:12,472 --> 00:46:13,808 I wanted the truth! 430 00:46:15,175 --> 00:46:17,544 It's all the way from the North Pole. She flew here. 431 00:46:17,912 --> 00:46:20,414 - You have wings? - Definitely. 432 00:46:20,815 --> 00:46:23,150 - Soldier William. - Ah. 433 00:46:23,585 --> 00:46:25,485 Your perfect, perfect Christmas. 434 00:46:25,519 --> 00:46:27,220 Tell me all about it. 435 00:46:27,622 --> 00:46:29,489 My perfect, perfect Christmas, Sir, 436 00:46:29,523 --> 00:46:32,694 is not following the rules and doing whatever you want. 437 00:46:32,726 --> 00:46:35,762 - Eating with your hands. - Not showing up. 438 00:46:36,363 --> 00:46:38,332 What would that be like? 439 00:46:38,365 --> 00:46:39,667 That would be a miracle. 440 00:46:41,401 --> 00:46:43,337 We've never had a miracle before. 441 00:46:43,770 --> 00:46:45,372 Don't know what it's like. 442 00:46:46,340 --> 00:46:48,742 Soldier. Do you want to be king, Soldier? 443 00:46:52,245 --> 00:46:53,413 I have no choice. 444 00:46:55,883 --> 00:46:57,784 Do you want to be the queen, Soldier? 445 00:46:59,386 --> 00:47:00,588 I'll be your mum. 446 00:47:01,521 --> 00:47:02,657 That's my job. 447 00:47:03,490 --> 00:47:04,826 Do you get paid? 448 00:47:06,460 --> 00:47:07,561 Hardly. 449 00:47:08,696 --> 00:47:11,164 If I start being really silly in the next few days, 450 00:47:12,199 --> 00:47:13,266 just tell me. 451 00:47:14,602 --> 00:47:16,671 I'll only believe it if it's you who tells me. 452 00:47:16,703 --> 00:47:18,271 Okay, Mummy. 453 00:47:18,305 --> 00:47:19,573 Sure can do. 454 00:47:52,674 --> 00:47:53,608 Who is it? 455 00:47:53,641 --> 00:47:55,910 Your dresser, Your Royal Highness. 456 00:48:07,622 --> 00:48:08,890 Where's Maggie? 457 00:48:09,356 --> 00:48:11,224 I have dressed you before, Ma'am. 458 00:48:11,258 --> 00:48:12,359 Yes, I know. 459 00:48:12,593 --> 00:48:13,760 May I come in? 460 00:48:14,494 --> 00:48:15,729 Where's Maggie? 461 00:48:16,496 --> 00:48:19,399 I believe Major Gregory sent her back to London. 462 00:48:34,381 --> 00:48:35,983 It's very cold this morning. 463 00:48:49,630 --> 00:48:50,865 This is for breakfast. 464 00:48:52,633 --> 00:48:55,368 The next outfit, the one you chose for church... 465 00:48:55,402 --> 00:48:58,538 I suggest you wear a warm Merino long coat. 466 00:49:00,875 --> 00:49:02,009 How do I look? 467 00:49:03,376 --> 00:49:04,612 What do you mean? 468 00:49:05,046 --> 00:49:07,481 Right now, how do I look? 469 00:49:07,949 --> 00:49:09,282 Very nice. 470 00:49:10,550 --> 00:49:11,551 Hmm. 471 00:49:13,453 --> 00:49:15,690 - Happy Christmas. - Oh! 472 00:49:16,456 --> 00:49:19,359 - Happy Christmas... - "...Christmas, Ma'am." "Very nice." 473 00:49:19,760 --> 00:49:21,896 I'd really like to have someone I can talk to properly. 474 00:49:21,929 --> 00:49:23,330 When is Maggie back? 475 00:49:23,363 --> 00:49:25,799 - I really don't know, Ma'am. - That will be all. Thank you. 476 00:49:25,833 --> 00:49:27,101 I'm sorry? 477 00:49:27,135 --> 00:49:29,536 There's a designated dress which I will put on for breakfast. 478 00:49:29,569 --> 00:49:31,005 And I can put it on myself. 479 00:49:31,873 --> 00:49:33,608 Your hair isn't set, Ma'am. 480 00:49:37,344 --> 00:49:38,745 Tell them I want Maggie. 481 00:49:40,280 --> 00:49:43,416 Tell Major Gregory, who hears everything, that I insist on having Maggie. 482 00:49:45,352 --> 00:49:47,622 It isn't really Major Gregory who decides. 483 00:49:47,955 --> 00:49:50,490 No, he doesn't decide. There's never a decision to make. 484 00:49:50,524 --> 00:49:52,325 There's only what must happen. 485 00:49:52,559 --> 00:49:53,493 But even so... 486 00:49:54,996 --> 00:49:57,397 Tell them I insist on having Maggie. 487 00:50:04,538 --> 00:50:07,541 Or I'll cut all my dresses to pieces with a kitchen knife. 488 00:50:11,444 --> 00:50:12,712 Yes, Ma'am. 489 00:50:13,114 --> 00:50:16,050 Wait, don't say that. 490 00:50:16,083 --> 00:50:17,551 No, I don't mean that. 491 00:50:17,919 --> 00:50:19,020 Don't say that. 492 00:50:19,053 --> 00:50:21,354 Just say that I'd like Maggie. 493 00:50:23,057 --> 00:50:24,491 Though you're good, 494 00:50:25,458 --> 00:50:26,694 I would prefer... 495 00:50:27,427 --> 00:50:28,762 I would like Maggie. 496 00:50:29,529 --> 00:50:31,699 - Yes, Ma'am. - Thank you. 497 00:51:12,039 --> 00:51:15,643 Your Majesties, Your Royal Highnesses, smile, please. 498 00:51:21,883 --> 00:51:25,719 This will be followed by coddled eggs with cream sauce, 499 00:51:25,752 --> 00:51:28,022 Scottish kippers, brown and white toast. 500 00:51:28,488 --> 00:51:30,691 Accompanied by simmered herring roe, 501 00:51:30,724 --> 00:51:34,128 roasted muffins, quince jelly. Followed by fresh... 502 00:51:34,161 --> 00:51:35,762 This will be followed by fresh coffee 503 00:51:35,997 --> 00:51:38,933 with a selection of organic pastries and cakes 504 00:51:38,966 --> 00:51:40,268 from Highgrove House, 505 00:51:40,301 --> 00:51:44,105 a selection of organic Highgrove jams and marmalades with honey 506 00:51:44,805 --> 00:51:46,040 from Highgrove bees. 507 00:51:46,740 --> 00:51:49,476 Then, at ten o'clock precisely, 508 00:51:49,677 --> 00:51:51,612 cars will take all those concerned 509 00:51:51,646 --> 00:51:54,882 to St. Mary Magdalene's Church for traditional morning worship. 510 00:51:55,749 --> 00:51:56,951 But now, 511 00:51:57,852 --> 00:51:59,954 enjoy your breakfast, your Majesty. 512 00:52:06,027 --> 00:52:07,128 How do I look? 513 00:52:10,131 --> 00:52:11,498 You look fine. 514 00:52:14,936 --> 00:52:17,605 There is... one thing. 515 00:52:20,675 --> 00:52:23,476 The chickens laid the eggs, 516 00:52:24,278 --> 00:52:26,080 the fishermen caught the fish, 517 00:52:27,181 --> 00:52:29,917 all these little bees made the honey... 518 00:52:30,750 --> 00:52:33,955 They all made such an effort to bring you breakfast. 519 00:52:34,822 --> 00:52:35,856 Please, 520 00:52:35,890 --> 00:52:39,193 do them the courtesy of not regurgitating it all 521 00:52:39,226 --> 00:52:42,729 into a lavatory bowl before the church bells even ring. 522 00:52:49,804 --> 00:52:52,873 The peace of God, which passeth all understanding, 523 00:52:53,207 --> 00:52:56,944 shall keep your hearts and minds in the knowledge and love of God 524 00:52:57,144 --> 00:52:59,947 and of his Son, Jesus Christ our Lord. 525 00:53:00,848 --> 00:53:05,152 And the blessings of God almighty, the Father, the Son and Holy Ghost 526 00:53:05,820 --> 00:53:08,589 be amongst you and remain with you always. 527 00:53:09,256 --> 00:53:10,992 - Amen. - Amen. 528 00:53:35,049 --> 00:53:36,217 Come here. 529 00:53:37,985 --> 00:53:39,186 Thanks for the crab. 530 00:53:39,954 --> 00:53:41,889 It's awful. 531 00:53:42,656 --> 00:53:44,125 I got it at the petrol station. 532 00:53:44,892 --> 00:53:45,926 It's Christmas. 533 00:53:45,960 --> 00:53:48,662 It's the thought that counts. 534 00:53:59,106 --> 00:54:01,242 Did you tell anyone? Mm? 535 00:54:01,909 --> 00:54:02,977 No. 536 00:54:03,010 --> 00:54:05,312 I told Harry to hide his lobster. 537 00:54:05,346 --> 00:54:06,746 But he lost it anyway. 538 00:54:07,381 --> 00:54:08,715 Of course. 539 00:54:09,116 --> 00:54:10,251 Well, that's okay. 540 00:54:11,551 --> 00:54:13,154 There's lots of crustaceans to be had at the petrol station. 541 00:54:13,621 --> 00:54:14,788 - Mm? - Yeah. 542 00:54:20,760 --> 00:54:22,729 - You cold? - Mm-hmm. 543 00:54:23,230 --> 00:54:25,266 - Yeah. - Almost. 544 00:54:29,403 --> 00:54:31,272 Diana! 545 00:54:31,305 --> 00:54:32,239 Diana! 546 00:54:33,974 --> 00:54:36,210 Look this way. Give us a smile. 547 00:54:36,243 --> 00:54:37,978 And William! Will! 548 00:54:49,356 --> 00:54:51,692 Look this way. There she is. 549 00:55:12,179 --> 00:55:13,647 Diana! 550 00:55:15,249 --> 00:55:17,418 The public began arriving early this morning... 551 00:55:17,451 --> 00:55:19,687 Look, she's wearing the wrong one. 552 00:55:19,719 --> 00:55:23,324 She's wearing "Boxing Day lunch" when it should be "Christmas Day church." 553 00:55:23,958 --> 00:55:27,061 Does it really matter that she's, um, swapping them around? 554 00:55:27,094 --> 00:55:28,028 And those crowds... 555 00:55:28,062 --> 00:55:30,131 I mean, do you think I should tell someone? 556 00:55:30,164 --> 00:55:32,233 They might think it's me making mistakes. 557 00:55:32,765 --> 00:55:35,169 Oh, no. Oh, don't worry. 558 00:55:35,735 --> 00:55:37,671 ...as the Royal Family turned out... 559 00:55:37,704 --> 00:55:40,707 They'll know it's not you who's making mistakes. 560 00:55:40,740 --> 00:55:42,076 ...the Duke of Edinburgh. 561 00:55:43,077 --> 00:55:44,945 "Oh death rock me to sleep 562 00:55:46,280 --> 00:55:47,882 "Bring me to quiet rest 563 00:55:49,083 --> 00:55:51,418 "Let pass my weary, guiltless ghost 564 00:55:52,853 --> 00:55:54,355 "Out of my careful breast." 565 00:56:01,128 --> 00:56:02,296 Diana. 566 00:56:06,200 --> 00:56:08,035 Oh death, rock me to sleep. 567 00:56:38,432 --> 00:56:39,700 Pull! 568 00:56:46,807 --> 00:56:47,841 Pull! 569 00:57:02,223 --> 00:57:03,824 You have to say "Pull." 570 00:57:04,191 --> 00:57:06,759 - Pull. - Don't whisper it, say it loud. 571 00:57:07,494 --> 00:57:08,495 Pull! 572 00:57:13,567 --> 00:57:14,902 Again. 573 00:57:15,836 --> 00:57:16,870 Pull! 574 00:57:24,011 --> 00:57:27,414 You've got... You've got 24 hours. Just teach him. 575 00:57:27,448 --> 00:57:29,782 You move with the bird, you aim for the beak. 576 00:57:29,817 --> 00:57:31,051 Okay. 577 00:57:31,518 --> 00:57:33,753 One in three would be bearable. 578 00:57:37,191 --> 00:57:39,827 William told me before we came here he didn't want to shoot guns. 579 00:57:39,860 --> 00:57:42,529 I want to talk because someone aid something about clothes. 580 00:57:42,563 --> 00:57:44,265 - Will he be all right? - Yes, of course he'll be alright. 581 00:57:44,298 --> 00:57:46,500 Your dresser said something about clothes. 582 00:57:47,034 --> 00:57:48,068 I mean, will he be safe? 583 00:57:48,102 --> 00:57:50,537 It's perfectly safe, you wear protective glasses. 584 00:57:52,039 --> 00:57:53,540 How can it be safe 585 00:57:53,574 --> 00:57:55,843 if you have to wear protective glasses? 586 00:57:56,210 --> 00:57:59,179 Yesterday, you arrived after the Queen. 587 00:57:59,947 --> 00:58:01,849 - I got lost. - How could you get lost? 588 00:58:01,882 --> 00:58:03,517 You've lived over the hill for years. 589 00:58:04,218 --> 00:58:05,486 It looks different now. 590 00:58:06,287 --> 00:58:07,888 Everything looks different. 591 00:58:09,156 --> 00:58:10,457 Except the scarecrow. 592 00:58:10,491 --> 00:58:13,427 Yes, she says you took a jacket off a scarecrow. 593 00:58:15,029 --> 00:58:16,363 It was a bit of fun. 594 00:58:17,931 --> 00:58:20,567 You sure you weren't late yesterday because you were delayed by someone? 595 00:58:22,102 --> 00:58:23,070 Someone? 596 00:58:23,103 --> 00:58:25,172 I just thought someone might have delayed you. 597 00:58:26,373 --> 00:58:27,541 No. 598 00:58:29,443 --> 00:58:32,279 Sometimes you get delayed by someone. 599 00:58:33,347 --> 00:58:34,815 No one says anything. 600 00:58:36,050 --> 00:58:38,285 It's perfectly acceptable for you to be delayed by someone. 601 00:58:38,319 --> 00:58:40,154 How can you ask if it's safe? It's a tradition. 602 00:58:40,187 --> 00:58:42,056 Why did you send Maggie away? 603 00:58:42,089 --> 00:58:44,224 They said she left the curtains open. 604 00:58:44,258 --> 00:58:45,492 I left the curtains open. 605 00:58:46,628 --> 00:58:49,363 They are circling us. Didn't you know? Don't you read? 606 00:58:49,631 --> 00:58:52,433 They're hungry for anything. Why are you swapping dresses around? 607 00:58:54,535 --> 00:58:56,470 Why would you think I got delayed by someone? 608 00:58:56,503 --> 00:58:58,072 Oh, come on, come on. 609 00:59:02,309 --> 00:59:05,112 - He said he didn't want to shoot yet. - He's old enough. 610 00:59:06,380 --> 00:59:08,549 And you want him to shoot real birds tomorrow? 611 00:59:08,583 --> 00:59:10,184 For God's sake. 612 00:59:12,920 --> 00:59:14,088 Also... 613 00:59:14,922 --> 00:59:17,224 one of Major Gregory's men said he saw you 614 00:59:17,458 --> 00:59:20,094 wandering around in the grounds last night. 615 00:59:21,328 --> 00:59:23,063 I wanted to see my house. 616 00:59:23,097 --> 00:59:25,899 The police caught you but didn't report it. 617 00:59:25,933 --> 00:59:27,034 Gregory's men saw you too. 618 00:59:27,067 --> 00:59:29,503 - They're better than the police. - I wanted to go home. 619 00:59:29,536 --> 00:59:33,307 - It's boarded up. - Yes, but I wish it would be unboarded. 620 00:59:33,340 --> 00:59:35,309 But if I wish it aloud it definitely won't happen. 621 00:59:35,342 --> 00:59:38,112 You talk like a baby who isn't being spoilt enough. 622 00:59:40,981 --> 00:59:42,516 I would like it 623 00:59:42,549 --> 00:59:45,386 if you didn't make him shoot real birds tomorrow. 624 00:59:46,387 --> 00:59:47,921 And I would like it 625 00:59:49,423 --> 00:59:52,259 if you didn't buy me pearls because you bought us both the same thing. 626 00:59:56,430 --> 00:59:58,232 And if they're circling... 627 00:59:59,166 --> 01:00:01,402 it seems they're circling just me. 628 01:00:02,102 --> 01:00:03,003 Not you. 629 01:00:04,071 --> 01:00:05,205 Just me. 630 01:00:06,473 --> 01:00:08,442 Perhaps because I always take care to close my curtains. 631 01:00:26,661 --> 01:00:27,928 Look. 632 01:00:29,363 --> 01:00:32,332 The thing is, Diana, there has to be two of you. 633 01:00:34,669 --> 01:00:38,505 You... There's... There's two of me, there's two of Father, two of everyone. 634 01:00:39,273 --> 01:00:40,608 There's the real one, 635 01:00:41,542 --> 01:00:44,111 and the one they take pictures of. 636 01:00:48,315 --> 01:00:50,184 Now, we are given tasks. 637 01:00:50,685 --> 01:00:53,621 You know, I... I hated to shoot at first. 638 01:00:54,321 --> 01:00:56,591 I gave my gun to the other one, but... 639 01:00:57,391 --> 01:01:00,227 But you know, you have to be able to make your... 640 01:01:00,260 --> 01:01:01,995 body do things... 641 01:01:02,763 --> 01:01:03,665 you hate. 642 01:01:05,566 --> 01:01:07,000 That you hate? 643 01:01:09,136 --> 01:01:11,271 - That you hate. - That you hate? 644 01:01:13,307 --> 01:01:14,374 Yes. 645 01:01:17,377 --> 01:01:19,213 For the good of the country. 646 01:01:21,715 --> 01:01:24,117 - Of the country? - Yes, the people. 647 01:01:25,118 --> 01:01:27,087 Because they don't want us to be people. 648 01:01:29,624 --> 01:01:31,258 That's how it is. 649 01:01:33,828 --> 01:01:35,663 I'm sorry, I thought you knew. 650 01:01:56,183 --> 01:01:58,385 So please, stick to the list as it is written, 651 01:01:58,653 --> 01:02:00,387 in the order that it is written. 652 01:02:00,622 --> 01:02:03,625 - The dresser gets upset. - I want Maggie back. 653 01:02:03,658 --> 01:02:06,527 Someone heard Maggie saying she thinks you're cracking up. 654 01:02:06,828 --> 01:02:09,096 What? 655 01:02:09,329 --> 01:02:12,132 Yes, everyone here hears everything. 656 01:02:12,799 --> 01:02:15,536 They just don't always tell you what they've heard. 657 01:02:25,580 --> 01:02:28,115 This can be an opportunity to reflect on our own good fortune 658 01:02:28,749 --> 01:02:31,084 and on whether we have anything to offer, 659 01:02:31,118 --> 01:02:32,386 by way of example, 660 01:02:34,321 --> 01:02:36,456 to those who have recently broken free of dictatorship. 661 01:02:36,790 --> 01:02:39,393 We, who claim to be of the free world, 662 01:02:39,861 --> 01:02:43,130 should examine what we really mean by freedom. 663 01:02:44,131 --> 01:02:46,266 And how we can help to ensure 664 01:02:46,567 --> 01:02:49,436 that once in place, it is there to stay. 665 01:02:51,204 --> 01:02:54,474 There are all sorts of elements to a free society. 666 01:02:56,310 --> 01:02:58,580 But I believe that among the most important 667 01:02:59,379 --> 01:03:01,515 is the willingness of ordinary men and women... 668 01:03:03,216 --> 01:03:04,518 Good girl. 669 01:03:09,924 --> 01:03:11,291 Your Majesty. 670 01:03:19,266 --> 01:03:21,669 I really like the dress you wore on television. 671 01:03:24,237 --> 01:03:26,573 Wasn't the one my dresser recommended. 672 01:03:28,576 --> 01:03:31,144 They take a lot of photographs of you, don't they? 673 01:03:32,212 --> 01:03:36,483 The only portrait that really matters is the one they put on the ten pound note. 674 01:03:36,684 --> 01:03:39,553 When they take that one, you understand all you are, 675 01:03:39,587 --> 01:03:40,855 my dear, is currency. 676 01:03:43,490 --> 01:03:45,158 Come on. 677 01:03:59,439 --> 01:04:03,477 The turkey and the goose will be accompanied by the following: 678 01:04:03,510 --> 01:04:07,615 plum sauce, bread sauce, cranberry sauce, cloudberry sauce, 679 01:04:08,415 --> 01:04:10,384 potatoes, carrots and spinach. 680 01:04:10,585 --> 01:04:12,954 Three plums for the Prince of Wales. 681 01:04:12,987 --> 01:04:14,154 Organic carrots. 682 01:04:14,187 --> 01:04:16,591 Please, be careful which box we take the carrots from 683 01:04:16,624 --> 01:04:18,425 because he will bloody check. 684 01:04:18,759 --> 01:04:21,528 Parsnips, again organic. 685 01:04:21,561 --> 01:04:24,498 Okay, on to dessert. 686 01:04:24,531 --> 01:04:27,869 We have soufflé d'abricots, bread and butter pudding, 687 01:04:27,902 --> 01:04:31,471 a Christmas pudding chocolate yule log, plum pudding, 688 01:04:31,505 --> 01:04:33,841 mince pies, raspberry croquets, 689 01:04:33,875 --> 01:04:36,777 pastries, fondants, chocolate mousses, 690 01:04:36,811 --> 01:04:40,848 white chocolate mousses, crème brûlée. 691 01:04:40,882 --> 01:04:45,252 Finally, a selection of sweet and savoury organic biscuits. 692 01:04:45,285 --> 01:04:46,888 Organic biscuits from? 693 01:04:46,921 --> 01:04:48,755 Highgrove, chef! 694 01:04:49,423 --> 01:04:50,557 Yes, 695 01:04:50,992 --> 01:04:52,627 yes, bloody Highgrove. 696 01:04:53,828 --> 01:04:56,898 Right. Okay, the time now is ten minutes past three. 697 01:04:56,931 --> 01:04:59,466 Dinner will be served at eight p.m. precisely... 698 01:05:20,922 --> 01:05:22,756 What happens to the pheasants? 699 01:05:25,927 --> 01:05:28,261 What happens to the pheasants that my son will be shooting? 700 01:05:31,298 --> 01:05:32,633 After the shoot... 701 01:05:33,000 --> 01:05:35,368 we'll dress them and we'll pluck them and... 702 01:05:35,670 --> 01:05:37,872 everyone will take a brace home with them. 703 01:05:39,874 --> 01:05:41,541 There will be lots left over. 704 01:05:42,944 --> 01:05:45,680 The staff get some, the dogs get some, and the rest is thrown away. 705 01:05:47,447 --> 01:05:48,749 Thrown away... 706 01:05:50,484 --> 01:05:54,689 The pheasants are bred to be shot, Ma'am. But for the gun, they wouldn't be there. 707 01:05:55,388 --> 01:05:57,892 And the ones that don't get shot, they just get run over. 708 01:05:57,925 --> 01:05:59,793 They're not the brightest of birds. 709 01:06:00,595 --> 01:06:02,395 Beautiful but not very bright. 710 01:06:04,065 --> 01:06:06,399 Did you read the Vogue article about me? 711 01:06:07,701 --> 01:06:11,606 I've put soufflé d'abricots on the menu for you, your favourite. 712 01:06:11,639 --> 01:06:14,041 And I will make it myself for you. 713 01:06:16,978 --> 01:06:18,045 Fine. 714 01:06:23,383 --> 01:06:24,718 Do you mind? 715 01:06:28,122 --> 01:06:30,524 I've been reading about Anne Boleyn. 716 01:06:30,992 --> 01:06:31,959 Oh. 717 01:06:32,860 --> 01:06:34,862 I never remember which one is which. 718 01:06:35,362 --> 01:06:38,699 She's the one who was beheaded by King Henry VIII. 719 01:06:39,600 --> 01:06:41,869 Because he said that she was having an affair. 720 01:06:41,903 --> 01:06:44,906 But in fact he was the one who was having the affair. 721 01:06:47,108 --> 01:06:48,441 I think I saw her. 722 01:06:49,043 --> 01:06:50,310 The ghost of her. 723 01:06:50,343 --> 01:06:54,414 Everything you say to any member of staff here becomes currency. 724 01:06:54,615 --> 01:06:57,517 Do you understand? It becomes currency in these rooms. 725 01:06:57,985 --> 01:06:59,053 Good. 726 01:06:59,786 --> 01:07:00,922 Excellent. 727 01:07:02,089 --> 01:07:03,757 I'm prepared for my future 728 01:07:03,790 --> 01:07:06,627 as a face on a coin to be passed from hand to hand. 729 01:07:06,661 --> 01:07:08,029 No. 730 01:07:08,562 --> 01:07:10,097 You don't even think that. 731 01:07:11,899 --> 01:07:14,001 Did Maggie say that I was cracking up? 732 01:07:15,535 --> 01:07:16,736 Which one's Maggie? 733 01:07:21,576 --> 01:07:23,443 I thought she was my friend. 734 01:07:25,146 --> 01:07:26,647 Did she say it? 735 01:07:26,681 --> 01:07:28,381 I... I don't listen. 736 01:07:28,715 --> 01:07:29,716 I just cook. 737 01:07:32,920 --> 01:07:35,722 Some things are best not said out loud. 738 01:07:37,592 --> 01:07:38,792 Stories of ghosts, 739 01:07:38,826 --> 01:07:41,863 cutting off of heads and any odd thing that you might say, 740 01:07:41,896 --> 01:07:43,598 they get repeated here. 741 01:07:44,131 --> 01:07:47,467 But if I don't say it out loud, they read it on my face. 742 01:07:48,970 --> 01:07:50,737 - They can all see into me. - Ma'am. 743 01:07:51,205 --> 01:07:53,941 Usually when they sit at these tables and talk, 744 01:07:54,141 --> 01:07:55,475 they're laughing. 745 01:07:56,743 --> 01:07:59,113 At all the oddness and all the scandals. 746 01:08:01,481 --> 01:08:04,417 But with you, they do not laugh. 747 01:08:07,154 --> 01:08:08,990 They're gentle with you. 748 01:08:09,957 --> 01:08:11,558 And they're kind. 749 01:08:12,827 --> 01:08:14,561 And they are worried. 750 01:08:18,732 --> 01:08:20,500 They want you to survive. 751 01:08:22,103 --> 01:08:25,772 As the person you were when you first came here ten years ago. 752 01:08:30,811 --> 01:08:33,114 Do you have access to wire cutters? 753 01:08:35,482 --> 01:08:37,550 Why do you want wire cutters, Diana? 754 01:08:38,252 --> 01:08:39,654 To cut wire. 755 01:08:57,939 --> 01:08:59,472 Oh, go on. 756 01:09:00,007 --> 01:09:01,142 Fly away. 757 01:09:03,110 --> 01:09:04,645 Before it's too late. 758 01:09:09,083 --> 01:09:12,586 If you are going to fly anywhere, may I recommend Kensington? 759 01:09:13,921 --> 01:09:16,723 They wouldn't shoot you there. 760 01:09:17,024 --> 01:09:19,627 They'd make a fuss of your beautiful feathers. 761 01:09:20,794 --> 01:09:22,529 Look at the colours, they'd say. 762 01:09:24,031 --> 01:09:26,968 And everyone would start wearing feathers just like yours. 763 01:09:28,302 --> 01:09:30,570 You're so lucky, because you can wear the same outfit. 764 01:09:30,604 --> 01:09:31,439 Forgive me, Ma'am, 765 01:09:31,471 --> 01:09:33,607 But you need to get ready for dinner. 766 01:09:34,774 --> 01:09:35,910 It's almost five. 767 01:09:38,545 --> 01:09:39,746 Dinner's at eight. 768 01:09:40,881 --> 01:09:43,117 Your dresser needs to dress you Ma'am. Come, come. 769 01:09:43,150 --> 01:09:44,618 I'll be along shortly. 770 01:09:57,797 --> 01:09:58,933 Ma'am, may I? 771 01:10:06,807 --> 01:10:09,743 You know, some years ago I was in Belfast. 772 01:10:10,744 --> 01:10:12,613 The Falls Road. 773 01:10:12,646 --> 01:10:14,148 Sour times back then. 774 01:10:15,349 --> 01:10:16,783 We were in an alley. 775 01:10:17,284 --> 01:10:18,785 About to cross... 776 01:10:19,286 --> 01:10:21,055 I had a good friend beside me. 777 01:10:21,856 --> 01:10:22,957 A good friend. 778 01:10:23,991 --> 01:10:25,826 Soldiers become more than friends, you know? 779 01:10:27,428 --> 01:10:31,065 Anyway, to stop our legs from shaking, he was telling me a story. 780 01:10:31,098 --> 01:10:34,001 He was brought up in a farm up in the Highlands and he was... 781 01:10:34,035 --> 01:10:35,302 He was talking about some horse 782 01:10:35,336 --> 01:10:38,639 that his father had bought at the fair that couldn't be tamed. 783 01:10:38,973 --> 01:10:41,541 Lots of funny stories 784 01:10:41,775 --> 01:10:45,545 about this wild horse throwing his brothers around and such. 785 01:10:45,745 --> 01:10:46,947 But then he said... 786 01:10:48,616 --> 01:10:49,617 "But then, 787 01:10:50,084 --> 01:10:51,785 one fine morning..." 788 01:10:54,688 --> 01:10:56,924 In that moment, the bullet hit him. 789 01:10:56,957 --> 01:11:00,794 Back of the head, out through his nose. And he fell onto me and... 790 01:11:01,328 --> 01:11:02,696 I hugged him. 791 01:11:02,930 --> 01:11:03,998 Close. 792 01:11:04,899 --> 01:11:06,901 Saved myself from the next bullet. 793 01:11:07,668 --> 01:11:09,070 Hmm. 794 01:11:10,570 --> 01:11:13,107 Never did find out what happened to that wild horse. 795 01:11:13,706 --> 01:11:17,311 I asked myself, who do we soldiers die for? 796 01:11:22,216 --> 01:11:24,051 Then I remembered my oath. 797 01:11:25,718 --> 01:11:28,721 We all make an oath of loyalty to the Crown. 798 01:11:29,824 --> 01:11:31,724 It's not the human beings, you see? 799 01:11:32,792 --> 01:11:35,262 But it's the oath you chose to believe. 800 01:11:36,664 --> 01:11:39,934 Their faults, their weaknesses, that's not what you think about 801 01:11:39,967 --> 01:11:41,969 when you're in an alley in the Falls Road. 802 01:11:42,702 --> 01:11:45,106 You think only about your oath. 803 01:11:45,772 --> 01:11:46,974 And what that means. 804 01:11:50,077 --> 01:11:51,879 I don't want anyone to die for me. 805 01:11:53,447 --> 01:11:55,916 And I hope your friend's wild horse 806 01:11:57,717 --> 01:11:58,886 was never tamed. 807 01:12:04,258 --> 01:12:05,594 Ma'am. 808 01:12:07,428 --> 01:12:09,196 I've been asked to ensure 809 01:12:10,064 --> 01:12:11,265 that this time, 810 01:12:11,866 --> 01:12:13,733 unlike your arrival at the House, 811 01:12:14,101 --> 01:12:15,903 you arrive for dinner on time. 812 01:12:17,338 --> 01:12:20,341 It is Her Majesty and the House of Windsor I am pledged to serve. 813 01:12:20,875 --> 01:12:22,376 And I speak with their voice. 814 01:12:22,910 --> 01:12:26,113 So please, there really is no time for indulgence, Ma'am. 815 01:12:30,384 --> 01:12:32,920 It was you who put the book on my bed. 816 01:12:34,488 --> 01:12:36,056 What book? 817 01:12:37,191 --> 01:12:38,926 You put it there as a warning. 818 01:12:39,792 --> 01:12:43,230 I really have no idea what you are talking about, Ma'am. 819 01:13:36,350 --> 01:13:39,053 Ma'am, there seems to have been some confusion 820 01:13:39,086 --> 01:13:41,155 about which dress to wear and when. 821 01:13:42,389 --> 01:13:45,226 Yes, you reported my confusion faithfully. 822 01:13:46,427 --> 01:13:48,162 Perhaps you've taken an oath. 823 01:13:52,967 --> 01:13:55,269 The curtains have been fastened, Ma'am. 824 01:13:56,136 --> 01:13:59,206 That is, I was told to sew them by His Royal Highness. 825 01:13:59,240 --> 01:14:02,176 There have been reports of people in the grounds. 826 01:14:18,092 --> 01:14:19,860 They think photographers. 827 01:14:20,995 --> 01:14:22,196 We thought it wise. 828 01:14:23,130 --> 01:14:24,131 Yes, it is wise. 829 01:14:25,499 --> 01:14:27,968 - For Christmas dinner. - It's very wise... 830 01:14:28,002 --> 01:14:29,169 I took it in. 831 01:14:30,304 --> 01:14:31,839 You have lost weight. 832 01:14:33,073 --> 01:14:34,241 Shall we try it on? 833 01:14:35,876 --> 01:14:37,777 Ma'am, I will help you. 834 01:14:40,381 --> 01:14:42,149 How can you help me? 835 01:15:11,111 --> 01:15:13,113 I thought at first it might not fit me. 836 01:15:13,881 --> 01:15:15,215 But it does. 837 01:15:15,249 --> 01:15:17,518 There's even a little room left in it to accommodate for dinner. 838 01:15:21,455 --> 01:15:22,456 There we are. 839 01:15:27,928 --> 01:15:29,129 Hmm. 840 01:15:29,463 --> 01:15:30,632 Will you wear it? 841 01:15:30,665 --> 01:15:32,199 Of course I will wear it. 842 01:15:34,101 --> 01:15:36,337 It says on the label "Christmas Day dinner," 843 01:15:36,370 --> 01:15:38,138 and it's Christmas Day dinner. 844 01:15:38,172 --> 01:15:39,506 What else would I wear? 845 01:15:43,077 --> 01:15:44,111 Now leave me. 846 01:15:45,680 --> 01:15:47,081 I wish to masturbate. 847 01:15:48,949 --> 01:15:50,217 Ma'am. 848 01:15:53,655 --> 01:15:55,556 You can tell everyone I said that. 849 01:16:54,281 --> 01:16:56,283 Ma'am. 850 01:16:56,316 --> 01:16:59,153 - Dinner is served in 30 minutes. - God. 851 01:17:25,446 --> 01:17:27,548 Yes, I'm coming! 852 01:17:37,191 --> 01:17:38,091 Mummy? 853 01:17:40,027 --> 01:17:41,395 Mummy? 854 01:17:49,036 --> 01:17:50,137 Mummy, 855 01:17:51,238 --> 01:17:53,240 you said to tell you if you were being really silly. 856 01:17:55,175 --> 01:17:57,044 Mummy, you're being really silly. 857 01:17:59,046 --> 01:18:00,013 Please. 858 01:18:00,981 --> 01:18:02,382 Mummy, we have to sit down before Granny. 859 01:18:04,785 --> 01:18:07,488 Ma'am, dinner is served in ten minutes. 860 01:18:07,521 --> 01:18:09,223 Yes, we are just... 861 01:18:12,059 --> 01:18:14,161 Mummy, just switch off your mind. 862 01:18:14,394 --> 01:18:17,097 Don't think about it until after dinner. 863 01:18:17,564 --> 01:18:18,765 For everyone's sake. 864 01:18:22,469 --> 01:18:24,404 The chef has made soufflé d'abricots. 865 01:18:25,339 --> 01:18:26,674 It's just for me. 866 01:18:28,275 --> 01:18:29,776 It's not for them, it's for me. 867 01:18:30,444 --> 01:18:32,614 You've got like one minute to get dressed. 868 01:18:34,682 --> 01:18:36,083 You can do this. 869 01:18:37,819 --> 01:18:39,687 That's okay because... 870 01:18:40,187 --> 01:18:41,623 it only takes me one minute. 871 01:18:42,155 --> 01:18:44,224 I look great anyway. 872 01:18:46,426 --> 01:18:47,761 Did you see her in church? 873 01:18:49,129 --> 01:18:50,364 See who, Mummy? 874 01:18:53,300 --> 01:18:54,636 Jane Seymour, of course. 875 01:18:56,537 --> 01:18:57,571 Mummy... 876 01:18:58,205 --> 01:19:00,140 - I'll be one minute. - Okay. 877 01:19:00,774 --> 01:19:02,577 Okay... one minute. 878 01:19:06,346 --> 01:19:07,781 I just need one minute. 879 01:19:13,588 --> 01:19:15,657 - Just one minute. Sorry. - No, no! 880 01:19:15,690 --> 01:19:18,292 - It's okay, it's okay! - No, please, Mummy. 881 01:19:43,317 --> 01:19:44,384 Ma'am? 882 01:19:45,285 --> 01:19:47,220 Dessert is about to be served. 883 01:19:49,523 --> 01:19:52,259 The soufflé d'abricots is just for me. 884 01:19:55,630 --> 01:19:57,764 Ma'am, I've been told to wait for you. 885 01:19:59,601 --> 01:20:01,335 That's very kind of you. 886 01:20:02,670 --> 01:20:03,737 Very kind... 887 01:20:04,939 --> 01:20:06,239 Ma'am? 888 01:20:09,543 --> 01:20:10,544 Diana. 889 01:20:18,285 --> 01:20:19,252 Come. 890 01:20:20,220 --> 01:20:21,321 Emergency! 891 01:20:25,960 --> 01:20:27,227 Hold on. 892 01:20:28,195 --> 01:20:28,896 Fight them. 893 01:20:30,364 --> 01:20:31,531 Be beautiful. 894 01:20:33,500 --> 01:20:35,235 You are your own weapon. 895 01:20:36,203 --> 01:20:37,905 Don't cut it to pieces. 896 01:20:37,939 --> 01:20:40,774 Okay, but you have to stay with me. 897 01:20:42,776 --> 01:20:43,911 You can't leave me. 898 01:20:45,445 --> 01:20:47,649 - No. - Stay with me. 899 01:20:47,915 --> 01:20:48,816 Of course. 900 01:20:59,827 --> 01:21:01,461 Where is she? 901 01:21:02,362 --> 01:21:03,831 Ma'am? 902 01:21:06,834 --> 01:21:08,936 Ma'am, they are all waiting. 903 01:21:44,337 --> 01:21:45,372 Ma'am, please. 904 01:21:49,509 --> 01:21:51,211 Tell them I'm not well. 905 01:21:53,981 --> 01:21:56,249 Tell them I'm not at all well! 906 01:22:08,295 --> 01:22:09,664 Tell them I am not well. 907 01:22:10,832 --> 01:22:12,299 Tell them I'm not well. 908 01:22:21,042 --> 01:22:23,310 Go tell them I'm not well! 909 01:22:32,954 --> 01:22:33,821 Ma'am. 910 01:22:34,788 --> 01:22:37,491 I need a pair of Wellingtons. And a torch. 911 01:22:46,667 --> 01:22:47,734 Thank you. 912 01:22:48,735 --> 01:22:50,403 Where are you going, Ma'am? 913 01:22:51,038 --> 01:22:51,973 Home. 914 01:23:03,350 --> 01:23:04,018 Sir. 915 01:23:04,952 --> 01:23:06,954 The Princess of Wales has gone outside. 916 01:23:07,721 --> 01:23:09,790 She said she's going home. 917 01:23:11,491 --> 01:23:13,594 Really? How odd. 918 01:23:16,363 --> 01:23:17,932 I think that means she's going to Park House. 919 01:23:19,566 --> 01:23:21,002 It's dangerous, Sir. 920 01:23:21,035 --> 01:23:23,503 The stairs and the floorboards, they're rotten. 921 01:23:24,138 --> 01:23:27,407 If a princess wants to go home, who are we to stand in her way? 922 01:23:30,510 --> 01:23:32,613 If the constables report anything, 923 01:23:33,114 --> 01:23:34,615 tell them to let her be. 924 01:23:36,017 --> 01:23:37,585 That is all she wants. 925 01:23:38,152 --> 01:23:39,553 For us all to just... 926 01:23:39,887 --> 01:23:40,888 let her be. 927 01:23:42,123 --> 01:23:43,024 Yes, Sir. 928 01:27:31,318 --> 01:27:32,820 So. 929 01:28:01,781 --> 01:28:04,685 Diana! Boys! Get inside! 930 01:29:07,780 --> 01:29:09,416 Diana. 931 01:29:12,052 --> 01:29:13,954 You know he gave her a picture of himself. 932 01:29:14,221 --> 01:29:15,689 A miniature painting. 933 01:29:19,326 --> 01:29:21,362 She wore it around her neck. 934 01:29:23,364 --> 01:29:25,166 - Same as the one... 935 01:29:25,199 --> 01:29:27,067 that I wore around my neck. 936 01:29:28,302 --> 01:29:29,837 So I just tore it off. 937 01:29:32,406 --> 01:29:33,706 Go. 938 01:29:36,043 --> 01:29:37,111 Run. 939 01:33:55,769 --> 01:33:57,171 Are you real? 940 01:33:58,572 --> 01:33:59,440 Yeah. 941 01:34:02,443 --> 01:34:03,477 Yeah. 942 01:34:11,653 --> 01:34:12,654 Hey. 943 01:34:46,688 --> 01:34:48,322 They asked me back. 944 01:34:50,190 --> 01:34:52,694 They said they needed someone to talk to you. 945 01:34:52,726 --> 01:34:53,760 Hmm. 946 01:34:57,731 --> 01:34:59,233 Who is "they"? 947 01:35:00,133 --> 01:35:01,603 The Prince of Wales. 948 01:35:02,503 --> 01:35:04,271 That was good of him. 949 01:35:04,705 --> 01:35:06,273 He's not all bad. 950 01:35:06,740 --> 01:35:08,208 None of them are. 951 01:35:08,408 --> 01:35:09,443 No. 952 01:35:10,444 --> 01:35:12,312 They asked me to suggest that you see a doctor. 953 01:35:14,381 --> 01:35:15,617 They say you've been... 954 01:35:15,650 --> 01:35:17,184 cutting yourself again. 955 01:35:18,185 --> 01:35:19,353 Hmm. 956 01:35:19,386 --> 01:35:20,655 How do they know? 957 01:35:21,689 --> 01:35:23,591 - They know everything. - They don't. 958 01:35:26,426 --> 01:35:29,429 They don't know that Anne Boleyn saved my life last night. 959 01:35:32,566 --> 01:35:36,370 I've been imagining how they'll write about me in a thousand years. 960 01:35:37,337 --> 01:35:38,539 If you're Royal, 961 01:35:40,008 --> 01:35:42,309 the more time that passes, the fewer words they use to describe you. 962 01:35:42,342 --> 01:35:43,710 William: "the Conqueror." 963 01:35:45,112 --> 01:35:47,447 Elizabeth: "the Virgin." Diana... 964 01:35:54,288 --> 01:35:55,789 If I ever do become Queen, 965 01:35:57,224 --> 01:35:58,425 what will I be? 966 01:36:00,828 --> 01:36:01,829 Insane? 967 01:36:07,701 --> 01:36:09,803 He said that you told someone that... 968 01:36:10,370 --> 01:36:12,439 you thought I was cracking up. 969 01:36:14,374 --> 01:36:15,375 It's okay. 970 01:36:16,176 --> 01:36:17,511 But did you say it? 971 01:36:23,885 --> 01:36:26,186 Before I answer that question, 972 01:36:26,520 --> 01:36:27,521 - Ma'am... - Hmm. 973 01:36:28,455 --> 01:36:29,723 For what it's worth... 974 01:36:31,325 --> 01:36:34,795 I've never told you this and it probably means you'll have to fire me, but... 975 01:36:36,831 --> 01:36:39,099 well actually, I'm in love with you. 976 01:36:42,870 --> 01:36:44,171 Yes, I mean... 977 01:36:44,204 --> 01:36:45,772 I mean in that way. 978 01:36:48,475 --> 01:36:49,476 Completely. 979 01:36:55,850 --> 01:36:59,419 So, I suppose the one word I'd use to describe you 980 01:36:59,453 --> 01:37:00,622 would be "shocked." 981 01:37:02,189 --> 01:37:04,659 Diana: "the Shocked." 982 01:37:09,730 --> 01:37:11,131 Um... 983 01:37:11,599 --> 01:37:14,434 - Goodness. - Yes, quite. 984 01:37:14,468 --> 01:37:15,903 So what do you say to that? 985 01:37:17,738 --> 01:37:20,608 - I... - Shock does wonders apparently. 986 01:37:22,409 --> 01:37:25,278 And I know... I know you don't see me in that way. 987 01:37:25,312 --> 01:37:28,148 - No, I... - It's perfectly fine. I'm a grown-up. 988 01:37:31,718 --> 01:37:33,754 I just thought I'd lighten the gloom with something totally unexpected. 989 01:37:34,755 --> 01:37:35,623 Bam. 990 01:37:38,425 --> 01:37:40,794 Just think of all the times I've seen you naked. 991 01:37:45,799 --> 01:37:47,267 I'm surprised, but... 992 01:37:47,300 --> 01:37:48,568 completely... 993 01:37:48,903 --> 01:37:50,771 I'm grown-up about... this. 994 01:37:51,538 --> 01:37:53,407 No, you're not. You're not. 995 01:37:53,707 --> 01:37:55,877 You're having a childish giggle and I love it. 996 01:37:56,410 --> 01:37:58,579 Fuck doctors. What you need is love. 997 01:37:59,580 --> 01:38:02,684 Love, shocks and laughter. 998 01:38:04,418 --> 01:38:05,552 Plenty of it. 999 01:38:07,421 --> 01:38:09,456 - I... - You ready for that walk now? 1000 01:38:29,577 --> 01:38:31,646 It's going out. Further and further. 1001 01:38:47,360 --> 01:38:48,596 One hour to the guns. 1002 01:38:49,931 --> 01:38:51,599 Load the shoot boxes, please. 1003 01:38:55,069 --> 01:38:59,573 Eggs, dairy and cheese are our friends. Meats and oils our enemies. 1004 01:38:59,841 --> 01:39:03,276 Remember, salt cellars will lie down with the spices 1005 01:39:03,543 --> 01:39:05,312 on muslin bed sheets. 1006 01:39:28,368 --> 01:39:30,337 - Just do your best, okay? - Yes. 1007 01:40:28,428 --> 01:40:30,564 Park the car in the staff car park 1008 01:40:30,598 --> 01:40:32,700 and leave the keys in the glove compartment. 1009 01:40:33,466 --> 01:40:34,936 Why? What are you going to do? 1010 01:40:37,104 --> 01:40:39,539 I'm going to take my place among the pheasants. 1011 01:40:41,075 --> 01:40:42,043 No... 1012 01:40:42,577 --> 01:40:43,811 Seriously. What? 1013 01:40:43,845 --> 01:40:44,946 No, seriously. 1014 01:40:46,546 --> 01:40:48,983 Oh, Maggie, it's all just a bit of fun, isn't it? 1015 01:40:51,551 --> 01:40:52,519 Men. 1016 01:40:52,719 --> 01:40:54,088 Husbands, sex. 1017 01:40:55,022 --> 01:40:55,957 Mistresses. 1018 01:40:56,756 --> 01:40:57,757 Deceit. 1019 01:40:58,491 --> 01:40:59,492 Succession. 1020 01:41:01,494 --> 01:41:02,663 It's currency. 1021 01:41:03,931 --> 01:41:05,066 That's all we are. 1022 01:41:05,498 --> 01:41:06,901 I like nice things 1023 01:41:08,735 --> 01:41:10,838 that are simple, ordinary. 1024 01:41:11,873 --> 01:41:13,406 But things that are real. 1025 01:41:14,175 --> 01:41:16,143 You know, I really like things that are 1026 01:41:16,611 --> 01:41:18,545 quite middle-class, unfashionable. 1027 01:41:18,880 --> 01:41:20,413 I love Les Mis, I love... 1028 01:41:20,714 --> 01:41:21,916 Phantom of the Opera. 1029 01:41:22,749 --> 01:41:23,851 I love fast food. 1030 01:41:24,952 --> 01:41:27,520 I feel sorry for pheasants. 1031 01:41:27,955 --> 01:41:29,522 There's no hope for me. 1032 01:41:29,924 --> 01:41:31,025 Not with them. 1033 01:41:34,929 --> 01:41:36,931 I'm going to see you back in Kensington. 1034 01:41:37,464 --> 01:41:38,765 I can't wait. 1035 01:41:40,567 --> 01:41:42,802 - I'll have a pheasant feather in my hat. - Okay. 1036 01:43:50,764 --> 01:43:52,333 Saboteur! 1037 01:43:52,366 --> 01:43:55,002 Hold your fire! 1038 01:43:57,371 --> 01:43:58,705 Boys! 1039 01:44:00,007 --> 01:44:01,842 I want to take you home. 1040 01:44:14,121 --> 01:44:16,223 I'm not moving from this spot 1041 01:44:16,957 --> 01:44:18,592 until they come to me! 1042 01:44:28,135 --> 01:44:30,137 You'll just have to shoot me! 1043 01:44:46,320 --> 01:44:47,288 Go. 1044 01:44:49,722 --> 01:44:51,058 You... try to help her. 1045 01:44:54,895 --> 01:44:56,729 Your Royal Highness, do you want me to intervene here? 1046 01:44:56,763 --> 01:44:57,865 My sons... 1047 01:44:59,700 --> 01:45:01,268 are going to join their mother. 1048 01:45:05,439 --> 01:45:07,608 So everyone hold your fire. 1049 01:45:08,976 --> 01:45:10,010 Go. 1050 01:45:34,168 --> 01:45:35,035 Yes. 1051 01:45:35,336 --> 01:45:36,270 Okay. 1052 01:45:36,303 --> 01:45:37,304 Oh! 1053 01:45:46,881 --> 01:45:47,780 Come on! 1054 01:45:47,815 --> 01:45:50,284 - Slowpoke! Slowpoke! - Come on! 1055 01:45:50,317 --> 01:45:53,120 - Come on! - Do you want to be first? 1056 01:45:53,888 --> 01:45:54,955 Come on, Mummy. 1057 01:45:58,758 --> 01:46:00,127 Hang on. Boys. 1058 01:46:02,429 --> 01:46:04,098 Come here. Come on, come on. 1059 01:46:05,199 --> 01:46:06,433 Feet up, feet up. 1060 01:46:08,869 --> 01:46:10,703 What are we? 1061 01:46:11,438 --> 01:46:12,840 Seventeen and a half stone. 1062 01:46:13,974 --> 01:46:15,843 - There. - Come, Mummy. 1063 01:46:15,876 --> 01:46:17,278 That's how much I enjoyed myself. 1064 01:46:17,311 --> 01:46:19,880 - Ma'am, shall I bring the car? - Tell Major Gregory: 1065 01:46:19,914 --> 01:46:21,748 seventeen and a half stone. 1066 01:46:21,781 --> 01:46:22,782 Write it down. 1067 01:46:24,885 --> 01:46:26,253 Right here, Mummy? 1068 01:46:26,921 --> 01:46:28,389 Are you leaving us, Ma'am? 1069 01:46:28,422 --> 01:46:30,357 Yes! Isn't it terrible? 1070 01:46:30,391 --> 01:46:33,093 Yeah. Would you like me to make you up some food? 1071 01:46:33,127 --> 01:46:34,361 There's a lot left over. 1072 01:46:34,929 --> 01:46:36,964 No, I've promised them a real treat. 1073 01:46:37,831 --> 01:46:40,134 I missed your soufflé. 1074 01:46:40,501 --> 01:46:42,970 It would've only been wasted on me, anyway. 1075 01:46:43,204 --> 01:46:44,305 We need the keys. 1076 01:46:46,207 --> 01:46:47,908 There's also a note. 1077 01:47:03,057 --> 01:47:04,124 Bye! 1078 01:47:21,976 --> 01:47:23,143 Where are we going? 1079 01:47:23,911 --> 01:47:24,777 Home. 1080 01:47:27,114 --> 01:47:28,916 - I'm cold. - And I'm hungry. 1081 01:47:28,949 --> 01:47:31,252 Well, turn the heating up! We're going to eat. 1082 01:47:34,355 --> 01:47:36,257 Where are we going to eat? 1083 01:47:36,290 --> 01:47:37,491 Somewhere! 1084 01:47:37,925 --> 01:47:39,792 - Do you know? - Trust me! 1085 01:47:39,827 --> 01:47:41,962 - Do you know? - We'll find out! 1086 01:47:52,273 --> 01:47:54,408 All I need is a miracle 1087 01:47:54,908 --> 01:47:58,078 All I need is you 1088 01:47:59,346 --> 01:48:01,781 All I need is a miracle 1089 01:48:01,982 --> 01:48:04,784 All I need is you 1090 01:48:06,453 --> 01:48:08,922 All I need is a miracle 1091 01:48:08,956 --> 01:48:12,059 All I need is you 1092 01:48:43,457 --> 01:48:45,025 I love this car. 1093 01:48:45,059 --> 01:48:46,427 I love this song! 1094 01:48:46,460 --> 01:48:49,330 I'm gonna love you for the rest of your life 1095 01:48:53,567 --> 01:48:54,602 Let's go! 1096 01:49:15,022 --> 01:49:16,357 Can I take your order? 1097 01:49:17,491 --> 01:49:18,892 Three times chicken. 1098 01:49:20,260 --> 01:49:22,563 Three times fries. Two colas and an orange juice, please. 1099 01:49:23,364 --> 01:49:24,531 And what name is it? 1100 01:49:26,066 --> 01:49:27,067 Spencer. 1101 01:50:23,566 --> 01:50:28,571 Provided by explosiveskull https://twitter.com/kaboomskull