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Original Sub By VikramJS
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♪ He wakes up in the morning
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♪ Does his teeth, bite
to eat and he's rolling
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♪ Never changes a thing
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♪ The week ends
The week begins
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♪ She thinks we
look at each other ♪
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Resync By M_I_S
www.opensubtitles.org
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Hi!
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00:01:10,945 --> 00:01:13,047
Uh, you guys must be
new to town, right?
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New to town,
but not new to the country.
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We just moved from
California. We speak English.
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Oh, that's
wonderful! So do we!
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Um... Um...
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We're just curious.
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Um... are you Chinese?
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- Yes.
- Oh, great.
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00:01:31,124 --> 00:01:34,031
Uh, we just wondered
if you would mind
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00:01:34,056 --> 00:01:36,372
if your daughter played
with our daughter?
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00:01:36,397 --> 00:01:37,664
Why our daughter?
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Oh! Oh, no, we just thought
Audrey might like to meet her.
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- Yeah.
- Audrey, say hi.
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You wanna play slide?
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Mmm-hmm.
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00:02:04,145 --> 00:02:06,582
Slide's off limits
to Ching-Chongs.
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00:02:08,738 --> 00:02:09,772
Fuck you.
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00:02:15,398 --> 00:02:17,333
You wanna be best friends?
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00:02:34,469 --> 00:02:37,005
My grandpa's name
is Joe, just like my dad's.
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He loves model trains,
and he has a gout.
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Why don't you look
like your family?
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'Cause I'm adopted from China.
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That's why I have a birth mom.
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I'd be so mad if my
parents gave me up.
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00:02:46,741 --> 00:02:48,050
Did you do something?
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00:02:48,075 --> 00:02:50,199
Her mom didn't
want her, obviously.
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Are you okay?
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00:02:57,487 --> 00:02:59,256
You know what?
Fuck everyone else.
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00:02:59,281 --> 00:03:02,051
You don't have to prove
anything to these losers.
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♪ We can take turns
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♪ Taking the reins
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00:03:21,136 --> 00:03:24,395
♪ Lean on each other
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♪ When we need
some extra strength
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00:03:27,415 --> 00:03:31,820
♪ And we'll never cave
or we'll never waver
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♪ We'll dance like
nobody's there
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♪ We'll dance
without any cares
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♪ We'll talk 'bout
problems we share
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♪ We'll talk 'bout
things that ain't fair
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♪ We'll sing 'bout
things we don't know
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♪ We'll sing to
people and show
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♪ What it means to be
young and growing up ♪
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Ten, four, let's go, boss.
51
00:03:58,424 --> 00:03:59,469
You sure you're ready for China?
52
00:03:59,494 --> 00:04:01,112
I got this, Frank.
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00:04:01,759 --> 00:04:03,894
They do things
differently there.
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00:04:03,919 --> 00:04:07,456
I'll close the
deal. Don't worry about that.
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00:04:07,481 --> 00:04:09,383
You worried about that?
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Oh, fuck!
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Ah! Fuck!
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Oh, Jesus Christ! Cover that!
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Hey.
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00:04:15,138 --> 00:04:17,533
God, this game fuckin' sucks.
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00:04:17,558 --> 00:04:19,191
- Good game.
- Good game, boss.
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Thanks, Kevin.
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00:04:20,861 --> 00:04:22,996
Mike C. Mike D.
Mike J. Michael.
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00:04:23,063 --> 00:04:25,860
Josh. James. Dave. Other Dave.
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Michael again. Good seein' ya.
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Uh, eleven to four.
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Kicked my ass again, Sullivan.
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00:04:31,605 --> 00:04:33,131
That's pretty good for a...
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- Woman.
- Asian.
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00:04:34,583 --> 00:04:36,827
No, I was gonna
say "associate."
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00:04:36,852 --> 00:04:39,521
Wait, can we say "Asian"
anymore or is that offensive?
72
00:04:39,546 --> 00:04:41,048
We can't say anything anymore.
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You're goddamn right,
Kevin! So shut the fuck up!
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I'm an ally. I shop
at 99 Ranch Market.
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Some of us are doin' the work.
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00:04:47,585 --> 00:04:49,087
Yes. I really appreciated
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- that Mulan-themed office birthday party.
- You're welcome.
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00:04:51,850 --> 00:04:54,275
So, uh, you excited for Beijing?
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I didn't know you speak Chinese.
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Well, I'm not fluent
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but I have an excellent grasp
of conversational Mandarin.
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Yeah? How do you say,
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00:05:01,093 --> 00:05:04,479
"I have an excellent grasp of
conversational Mandarin" in Mandarin?
84
00:05:12,111 --> 00:05:15,114
You close ChinaWave this week,
I'm puttin' you up for partner.
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00:05:15,364 --> 00:05:16,800
Took you long enough, ally.
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00:05:16,825 --> 00:05:18,068
Well, come on,
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00:05:18,093 --> 00:05:20,938
Ms. 3,000-Billable-Hours,
you knew this was coming.
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00:05:20,963 --> 00:05:23,202
You know, if this works out, you're
gonna have to move out to L.A.,
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00:05:23,227 --> 00:05:24,295
work out of headquarters.
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That'd be amazing, actually.
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00:05:26,081 --> 00:05:27,276
You know, I've been thinking
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00:05:27,301 --> 00:05:29,004
it'd be nice to have a change.
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- Oh, you're gonna love LA.
- Yeah.
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I mean, there's a Chinatown,
a Thai Town, a Koreatown.
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- I mean, it's basically Asia.
- Sure.
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That's me off of the dick.
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Your dick is dust, you
pussy motherfucker!
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- Fuckin' dust!
- Anyway,
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close ChinaWave, make partner.
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00:05:46,480 --> 00:05:48,298
- Don't worry. I will.
- You better.
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00:05:48,323 --> 00:05:50,841
It's a big account. Good thing
you're fluent in Chinese.
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00:05:51,018 --> 00:05:52,419
Yep.
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00:05:52,519 --> 00:05:54,330
You know, and I actually
have a friend coming with me.
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She offered to be my
translator in Beijing.
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00:05:55,922 --> 00:05:58,220
Oh, you have a friend who's
a professional translator?
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Total professional.
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00:06:06,400 --> 00:06:07,677
Oh,
what's up, landlord?
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00:06:07,701 --> 00:06:09,379
- Sorry for the mess.
- Who are you talking to?
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00:06:09,403 --> 00:06:11,304
I'm sending an
Animoji to Baron Davis
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with this cute bear.
111
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Look. Check it out.
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Oh.
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00:06:19,446 --> 00:06:20,857
You have
no idea what I'm saying.
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No, I have an idea.
Who is Baron Davis?
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Basketball player.
Two-time NBA All-Star.
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Anyway, he's playin'
in China now.
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Since we're goin' to
Beijing, I slid in his DMs.
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He's learning the language,
so I'm teaching him.
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If you need help translating,
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00:06:33,360 --> 00:06:34,937
I talked to Kat, and
she lives there now.
121
00:06:34,961 --> 00:06:36,195
- Ah, yes.
- So like if...
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00:06:36,295 --> 00:06:38,498
Katherine Huang. Your
famous college roommate.
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- Yeah.
- Actress.
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00:06:40,167 --> 00:06:41,568
- Okay.
- Spokesmodel.
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Lolo two-point-worse.
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Don't...
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You do understand
it's really important
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for me to be professional
129
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- the entire time...
- Of course.
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Audrey, I got you. Look at me.
131
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- You're thinking about a dick.
- Damn it. You're right.
132
00:06:55,449 --> 00:06:57,184
- But I'm a fellow profesh.
- Yeah. I know.
133
00:06:57,283 --> 00:06:59,453
Trust me. Oh, let me
show you my latest work.
134
00:06:59,553 --> 00:07:02,489
- Come on. It's at the restaurant.
- Uh, it's... Okay.
135
00:07:05,125 --> 00:07:06,526
Licky cat. Ooh.
136
00:07:06,626 --> 00:07:09,295
See? It's like a
lucky cat except...
137
00:07:09,396 --> 00:07:10,540
- Yeah, no, I get it.
- The tongue?
138
00:07:10,564 --> 00:07:12,231
- I get it.
- Ready for this?
139
00:07:13,500 --> 00:07:15,368
The Look-Closer Lotus.
140
00:07:15,469 --> 00:07:17,046
- Look-Closer at wha... Oh, wow.
- Mmm-hmm.
141
00:07:17,070 --> 00:07:18,430
- Vaginas.
- Mmm-hmm. Pussy petals.
142
00:07:18,472 --> 00:07:20,272
- There's a lot of 'em.
- And this,
143
00:07:20,373 --> 00:07:24,377
my piece de resistance...
144
00:07:24,478 --> 00:07:26,012
"Adult Playground."
145
00:07:26,113 --> 00:07:27,514
- Oh. Whoa!
- Mmm-hmm.
146
00:07:27,614 --> 00:07:28,854
Whoo-hoo-hoo-hoo.
147
00:07:28,915 --> 00:07:31,218
Is this the playground
we went to as kids?
148
00:07:31,318 --> 00:07:33,220
Fuck yeah.
Look, titty sandbox.
149
00:07:33,320 --> 00:07:35,287
This is chaotic.
150
00:07:35,388 --> 00:07:37,891
That's what my art is all
about. Inspiring chaos.
151
00:07:37,991 --> 00:07:40,861
Challenging fetishes that
Asian people have to deal with
152
00:07:40,961 --> 00:07:41,928
around sexuality.
153
00:07:42,028 --> 00:07:43,330
I mean, it's just a lot.
154
00:07:43,430 --> 00:07:44,631
I hope someone likes it.
155
00:07:44,731 --> 00:07:46,633
I could really use a
commission right now.
156
00:07:46,733 --> 00:07:48,544
If you really need money, you
could pick up some shifts here.
157
00:07:48,568 --> 00:07:49,736
Your parents need the help.
158
00:07:49,836 --> 00:07:51,270
I'm not tryin' to be a sell-out.
159
00:07:51,371 --> 00:07:53,406
- I'm a starving artist.
- Mmm.
160
00:07:53,507 --> 00:07:55,242
I could bring one of
my pieces to Beijing.
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00:07:55,342 --> 00:07:57,010
Lolo, this is such
an important work...
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00:07:57,110 --> 00:07:58,678
- Work trip. Work trip.
- Right.
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00:07:58,779 --> 00:08:00,659
- Or... And just hear me out.
- No. No. No "or."
164
00:08:00,747 --> 00:08:03,717
What if it's our first annual
best friends trip? You and me.
165
00:08:03,817 --> 00:08:06,887
Romy and Michele.
Bert and Elmo.
166
00:08:06,987 --> 00:08:09,256
- Ernie.
- Oh, my God, I'm so embarrassed.
167
00:08:09,356 --> 00:08:10,857
I love the idea
of an annual trip
168
00:08:10,957 --> 00:08:12,535
but you're gonna have
to save some money.
169
00:08:12,559 --> 00:08:14,399
- Yeah.
- You're saving money by living with me.
170
00:08:14,427 --> 00:08:15,595
And I'm so grateful.
171
00:08:15,695 --> 00:08:17,272
And it's been really
fun but I don't know,
172
00:08:17,296 --> 00:08:19,175
like, maybe I don't wanna live
in White Hills my whole life.
173
00:08:19,199 --> 00:08:20,901
Why not? This is home.
174
00:08:21,001 --> 00:08:22,402
Right, but...
175
00:08:22,502 --> 00:08:25,472
Lolo... we told you to stop
bringing your art in here.
176
00:08:25,572 --> 00:08:27,174
I ran out of space at Audrey's.
177
00:08:27,274 --> 00:08:28,618
Put it away. We have
to go get ready.
178
00:08:28,642 --> 00:08:30,644
- Okay, I'm coming.
- We're coming.
179
00:08:32,546 --> 00:08:33,956
Do you wanna just...
180
00:08:33,980 --> 00:08:35,324
- Are we gonna leave it here?
- Okay, I'm sorry.
181
00:08:35,348 --> 00:08:37,150
I'm not a radiologist
like Arthur.
182
00:08:37,250 --> 00:08:38,285
Okay.
183
00:08:39,586 --> 00:08:40,763
To Audrey!
184
00:08:40,787 --> 00:08:42,298
- To Audrey. Yes.
- Thanks for coming over.
185
00:08:42,322 --> 00:08:43,790
Oh. So proud of you.
186
00:08:43,890 --> 00:08:45,334
Guys, you didn't
have to throw a whole party.
187
00:08:45,358 --> 00:08:46,836
We're gonna be back
in, like, four days.
188
00:08:46,860 --> 00:08:49,062
We wanted to give you a nice
send-off. It's a big deal.
189
00:08:49,162 --> 00:08:50,397
Going to your birth country.
190
00:08:50,497 --> 00:08:51,765
It's a business trip.
191
00:08:51,865 --> 00:08:53,476
And it's so great you're
taking Lolo with you.
192
00:08:53,500 --> 00:08:55,244
- Anyway, we brought Hong Dou Bing.
- Oh, yes.
193
00:08:55,268 --> 00:08:57,504
- These are red bean buns.
- Ooh.
194
00:08:57,604 --> 00:08:59,005
- Red bean.
- Audrey first.
195
00:08:59,105 --> 00:09:00,850
- Thank you so much. They look so good.
- Yes.
196
00:09:00,874 --> 00:09:02,385
You got the blue
one. Those are special.
197
00:09:02,409 --> 00:09:03,510
Will I like these?
198
00:09:03,610 --> 00:09:05,512
No, no. Probably
not, to be honest.
199
00:09:05,612 --> 00:09:06,989
- You're basically white.
- That's not true.
200
00:09:07,013 --> 00:09:08,524
You have a throw pillow
that says, "Wine o'clock."
201
00:09:08,548 --> 00:09:10,283
- Rose all day.
- You own a picnic basket.
202
00:09:10,383 --> 00:09:11,484
They're very useful.
203
00:09:11,585 --> 00:09:12,945
Name every character
on Succession.
204
00:09:12,986 --> 00:09:14,597
Logan, Kendall, Shiv,
Roman... Oh, you got me.
205
00:09:14,621 --> 00:09:17,791
So, I thought it would be
fun to look at some photos
206
00:09:17,891 --> 00:09:20,093
of Audrey from the last
time she was in China.
207
00:09:20,193 --> 00:09:22,495
Oh, my gosh. No. The Chens
don't wanna look at that.
208
00:09:22,596 --> 00:09:24,264
- That's for us.
- Yes.
209
00:09:24,364 --> 00:09:25,665
No, I...
210
00:09:25,765 --> 00:09:28,101
- Oh.
- Oh, honey, look, this is the first time
211
00:09:28,201 --> 00:09:29,769
- you held her.
- Oh, God.
212
00:09:29,870 --> 00:09:31,380
- Oh, my God. I'm gonna cry.
- So am I.
213
00:09:31,404 --> 00:09:33,124
- No, I know. It's cute.
- Who's this?
214
00:09:33,206 --> 00:09:34,446
Look at
that head of hair.
215
00:09:34,507 --> 00:09:35,742
Oh. Oh, that's my birth mom.
216
00:09:35,842 --> 00:09:38,144
How have you never
shown me this?
217
00:09:38,245 --> 00:09:39,646
I don't know. It's
not a big deal.
218
00:09:39,746 --> 00:09:41,257
- Who was that actor?
- Yeah, she...
219
00:09:41,281 --> 00:09:42,816
Your adoption
agency's on the back.
220
00:09:43,717 --> 00:09:45,685
Yeah.
221
00:09:46,653 --> 00:09:48,130
Should we
call them and maybe get
222
00:09:48,154 --> 00:09:50,099
- information on your mom?
- No. I don't wanna do that.
223
00:09:50,123 --> 00:09:52,559
I mean, we used to talk
about it all the time
224
00:09:52,659 --> 00:09:54,362
when we were little, remember?
225
00:09:54,461 --> 00:09:56,330
A grand adventure to
find your birth mom?
226
00:09:56,429 --> 00:09:57,931
No. No. That was
because we were kids.
227
00:09:58,031 --> 00:09:59,499
And we're adults
now. We've moved on.
228
00:09:59,599 --> 00:10:01,501
At least I have, okay?
So let's not do that.
229
00:10:01,601 --> 00:10:03,041
Anyway, why would
I need more parents
230
00:10:03,069 --> 00:10:04,938
when I have the two best
parents in the world?
231
00:10:05,038 --> 00:10:07,240
- Aw, honey.
- Oh, we love you, sweetie.
232
00:10:07,341 --> 00:10:08,775
You're the best.
233
00:10:08,875 --> 00:10:10,277
Sandwich!
234
00:10:12,346 --> 00:10:13,480
White people.
235
00:10:13,580 --> 00:10:15,248
You know
what? Another toast.
236
00:10:15,349 --> 00:10:18,218
To Audrey. To movin'
on and movin' up.
237
00:10:18,319 --> 00:10:19,853
- Moving up.
- To the best daughter
238
00:10:19,953 --> 00:10:21,855
and the best lawyer
you could ever have.
239
00:10:21,955 --> 00:10:24,991
And Lolo's gonna probably
need a lawyer someday.
240
00:10:25,091 --> 00:10:27,260
Get the bail money ready.
241
00:10:29,663 --> 00:10:31,064
Gonna need a lawyer.
242
00:10:36,937 --> 00:10:38,772
Guess who's goin' back
to the motherland?
243
00:10:38,872 --> 00:10:41,574
So, if you're in Beijing
and you have a juicy pene
244
00:10:41,675 --> 00:10:43,476
or a vagine hit me up.
245
00:10:43,576 --> 00:10:45,745
Audrey, say hi.
246
00:10:45,845 --> 00:10:47,605
- No, Lolo.
- Audrey, say hi.
247
00:10:51,751 --> 00:10:53,453
Hey, so I kinda
can't stop thinking
248
00:10:53,553 --> 00:10:54,931
about the picture
of your birth mom.
249
00:10:54,955 --> 00:10:56,723
- Oh.
- You sure you don't wanna look for her?
250
00:10:56,823 --> 00:10:58,534
- Yep.
- It could be something fun we do together.
251
00:10:58,558 --> 00:11:00,328
Lolo, I just... I'm sorry,
252
00:11:00,428 --> 00:11:01,962
but remember this
is a work trip.
253
00:11:02,062 --> 00:11:03,730
- Work trip. Work trip.
- Thank you.
254
00:11:03,830 --> 00:11:06,032
Deadeye's
coming, by the way.
255
00:11:06,132 --> 00:11:08,668
- What?
- Deadeye's coming.
256
00:11:08,768 --> 00:11:10,688
- Deadeye, your cousin?
- She's visiting friends.
257
00:11:10,770 --> 00:11:12,949
And her parents, you know, just didn't
want her to fly alone, so I'm chaperoning.
258
00:11:12,973 --> 00:11:14,507
A chaperone? For
a grown woman?
259
00:11:14,607 --> 00:11:16,652
Before you say anything, I
know what you're thinking.
260
00:11:16,676 --> 00:11:18,178
- Your hair grew back.
- Not really.
261
00:11:18,278 --> 00:11:19,612
This is why my part is this way.
262
00:11:19,713 --> 00:11:21,848
Yeah. That was forever ago.
And she's different now.
263
00:11:23,917 --> 00:11:25,952
I promise.
Deadeye has changed.
264
00:11:26,052 --> 00:11:30,156
She's into music. K-pop. You
know BTS. She's full army.
265
00:11:30,256 --> 00:11:31,558
She's super cool now.
266
00:11:31,658 --> 00:11:33,560
The energy has totally shifted.
267
00:11:33,660 --> 00:11:35,261
- Okay.
- Yeah, yeah.
268
00:11:35,363 --> 00:11:37,063
- Hey, Audrey.
- Whoa! Hi. Hey.
269
00:11:37,163 --> 00:11:39,032
- Deadeye.
- Hi.
270
00:11:39,132 --> 00:11:40,401
So...
271
00:11:40,500 --> 00:11:42,569
- Oh, good. Hi!
- Yeah.
272
00:11:42,669 --> 00:11:45,005
Um, so you're...
you're flying with us?
273
00:11:45,105 --> 00:11:46,749
- Just flying?
- Yeah, the pleasure's mine.
274
00:11:46,773 --> 00:11:48,708
- Me, too.
- Yeah. Um...
275
00:11:48,808 --> 00:11:50,086
so, when we get to Beijing,
you're gonna meet up
276
00:11:50,110 --> 00:11:51,455
- with your BTS friends, right?
- Yeah.
277
00:11:51,479 --> 00:11:52,679
- Awesome.
- Yes.
278
00:11:52,779 --> 00:11:55,416
@Jinderalla88, @JHopesGirl,
@SugalsMyDaddy.
279
00:11:55,515 --> 00:11:57,485
Oh, online people?
280
00:11:57,584 --> 00:11:58,784
Yeah, they're my best friends.
281
00:11:58,852 --> 00:12:00,720
I went to @Jinderalla88's
wedding on Zoom.
282
00:12:00,820 --> 00:12:02,100
- Awesome.
- He married a pillow.
283
00:12:02,155 --> 00:12:03,223
Okay.
284
00:12:03,324 --> 00:12:04,492
Oh, oh, one second.
285
00:12:04,591 --> 00:12:06,259
Those can't be real people.
286
00:12:06,360 --> 00:12:08,561
She's just coming to hang
out with us, obviously.
287
00:12:08,661 --> 00:12:10,331
-Trust me. Right when
we land, -Lolo...
288
00:12:10,431 --> 00:12:12,832
Deadeye is gonna peace out
and it's gonna be you and me.
289
00:12:12,932 --> 00:12:14,510
Do you think I can bring
these lighters onto the plane?
290
00:12:14,534 --> 00:12:15,644
- I really think it's illegal.
- Okay. Yeah.
291
00:12:15,668 --> 00:12:16,708
- Oh, no.
- Oh, yeah.
292
00:12:16,803 --> 00:12:18,104
- Not again.
- Okay. I was wrong.
293
00:12:18,204 --> 00:12:19,782
- My hair. My hair.
- Come on, it'll be fun.
294
00:12:19,806 --> 00:12:20,716
- We should check the other two.
- Friends trip!
295
00:12:20,740 --> 00:12:22,042
I'm gonna take these.
296
00:12:22,142 --> 00:12:23,652
We're gonna priority board
and we'll see you at...
297
00:12:23,676 --> 00:12:24,954
- at the gate, okay?
- Yeah. Yeah.
298
00:12:24,978 --> 00:12:26,255
You're gonna Venmo
me for those or...
299
00:12:26,279 --> 00:12:28,114
- Lolo?
- I'll sneak you some snacks.
300
00:12:48,234 --> 00:12:51,704
I don't think I've ever been
around only Asian people.
301
00:12:51,805 --> 00:12:54,874
I mean, we look like
everyone else for once.
302
00:12:54,974 --> 00:12:56,209
I think we blend right in.
303
00:12:56,310 --> 00:12:59,746
Yeah. But people here
can tell Chinese-Chinese
304
00:12:59,846 --> 00:13:01,415
from American-Chinese.
305
00:13:01,515 --> 00:13:02,982
- What do you mean?
- See?
306
00:13:03,083 --> 00:13:04,184
Hong Kong-Chinese.
307
00:13:04,284 --> 00:13:05,718
Bluetooth.
308
00:13:05,819 --> 00:13:07,887
Shanghai-Chinese. Bougie.
309
00:13:07,987 --> 00:13:09,589
Ooh, Taiwanese.
310
00:13:09,689 --> 00:13:11,157
- Weird, but cute.
- Aw.
311
00:13:11,257 --> 00:13:13,035
What kinda Chinese are they?
312
00:13:13,059 --> 00:13:14,562
What the fuck
is wrong with you?
313
00:13:14,661 --> 00:13:16,306
Are you tryin' to get
canceled? Those are Koreans.
314
00:13:16,330 --> 00:13:18,332
- Oh.
- That's Howdy Fun!
315
00:13:18,432 --> 00:13:19,933
- It's a K-pop group!
- Yeah,
316
00:13:20,033 --> 00:13:22,044
they all have the same face.
That's how you can tell.
317
00:13:22,068 --> 00:13:23,203
Mmm.
318
00:13:23,304 --> 00:13:25,114
I mean, why are they walking
right though security?
319
00:13:25,138 --> 00:13:28,241
- Because it's Howdy Fun!
- Okay.
320
00:13:31,111 --> 00:13:33,146
So, where... Where
are we goin'?
321
00:13:33,246 --> 00:13:34,223
Um, well,
322
00:13:34,247 --> 00:13:36,584
we are going to
visit my friend, Kat,
323
00:13:36,683 --> 00:13:38,486
on her set of The
Emperor's Daughter.
324
00:13:38,586 --> 00:13:40,220
Oh, I love that show.
325
00:13:40,321 --> 00:13:41,855
- Cool. Okay, let's go.
- Oh.
326
00:13:46,092 --> 00:13:47,694
Hey.
I thought you said
327
00:13:47,794 --> 00:13:49,095
it was just for the flight.
328
00:13:49,195 --> 00:13:50,840
She's
hanging out with us now?
329
00:13:50,864 --> 00:13:52,675
I didn't even ask Kat if
she can come to set with us.
330
00:13:52,699 --> 00:13:54,335
Is Kat gonna make a
big deal out of it?
331
00:13:54,435 --> 00:13:55,678
- No. I mean, just no...
- Fuck her.
332
00:13:55,702 --> 00:13:57,113
Why do you have such
a problem with her?
333
00:13:57,137 --> 00:13:59,373
You know, you both actually
have a lot in common.
334
00:13:59,473 --> 00:14:02,008
I mean, you're both
very sexually...
335
00:14:02,108 --> 00:14:03,344
- Free?
- Yeah.
336
00:14:03,444 --> 00:14:04,878
She blew Nick and Joe Jonas.
337
00:14:04,978 --> 00:14:06,880
Not Kevin? Not impressed.
338
00:14:07,947 --> 00:14:09,649
She has a tattoo on her vagina.
339
00:14:12,353 --> 00:14:13,753
What?
340
00:14:13,853 --> 00:14:15,755
She has... She
has a pussy tat?
341
00:14:15,855 --> 00:14:17,367
I shouldn't have told you.
342
00:14:17,391 --> 00:14:19,759
Um... You know what?
Forget I said anything.
343
00:14:19,859 --> 00:14:21,161
Yeah.
344
00:14:21,261 --> 00:14:24,130
Um, never, never gonna
talk about it ever again.
345
00:14:24,230 --> 00:14:26,833
What's it of? Like,
is it in color?
346
00:14:26,933 --> 00:14:28,735
Is it glow-in-the-dark?
Big? Small?
347
00:14:28,835 --> 00:14:31,204
Like, are pussy tats
more common than I think?
348
00:14:31,771 --> 00:14:33,273
Does she have one?
349
00:14:33,374 --> 00:14:34,741
Do they?
350
00:14:36,976 --> 00:14:39,380
Do you think she had,
like, ideas going in,
351
00:14:39,480 --> 00:14:42,048
or just pointed to the artist
and said, "Dealer's choice"?
352
00:14:42,148 --> 00:14:43,883
Horizontal. Vertical.
Optical illusion.
353
00:14:43,983 --> 00:14:45,218
It looks like a vase
354
00:14:45,319 --> 00:14:47,199
- but then an old lady.
- Stop talking about it.
355
00:14:48,622 --> 00:14:49,862
- I decided...
- Stop!
356
00:14:49,889 --> 00:14:51,468
- You know, I thought about it.
- Please.
357
00:14:51,492 --> 00:14:52,868
I thought about it. I thought
about it really, really hard.
358
00:14:52,892 --> 00:14:54,136
- Yes.
- And I decided I'm not gonna
359
00:14:54,160 --> 00:14:55,838
stop talking about it.
360
00:14:55,862 --> 00:14:58,465
Let's go see this trash bag
kitty cat pussy tat bitch.
361
00:15:39,005 --> 00:15:40,317
- Cut. Cut.
- Cut.
362
00:15:41,408 --> 00:15:43,477
Bravo! Encore!
363
00:15:43,577 --> 00:15:45,446
- Encore!
- Audrey?
364
00:15:45,546 --> 00:15:48,214
Oh, my God! That was so good!
365
00:15:48,315 --> 00:15:49,235
You're such a big shot!
366
00:15:49,282 --> 00:15:50,651
Oh, come on. You
are the big shot.
367
00:15:50,750 --> 00:15:51,918
You big shot lawyer.
368
00:15:52,018 --> 00:15:54,754
Best friends reunited.
369
00:15:54,854 --> 00:15:56,198
Oh.
370
00:15:56,222 --> 00:15:58,559
♪ Bom, bom, bom, bom
371
00:15:58,659 --> 00:16:00,628
- ♪ Bom!
- ♪ Bom, bom, ah!
372
00:16:00,728 --> 00:16:04,230
♪ Deep in the night how I
wonder (INHALES SHARPLY)
373
00:16:04,331 --> 00:16:07,401
♪ Please make him real,
how I'll pray, whoo! ♪
374
00:16:07,501 --> 00:16:10,404
Whoo!
375
00:16:10,504 --> 00:16:13,741
What? That was so lame.
What was that?
376
00:16:13,840 --> 00:16:15,440
You know, Kat and I
were part of the same
377
00:16:15,509 --> 00:16:16,644
college a cappella group...
378
00:16:16,744 --> 00:16:17,844
- The Tootles!
- Tootles!
379
00:16:17,944 --> 00:16:19,346
Stop!
380
00:16:19,446 --> 00:16:20,880
Right.
381
00:16:20,980 --> 00:16:22,449
Oh, it's so nice to see you.
382
00:16:22,549 --> 00:16:25,486
I hear that you're
living in Audrey's garage
383
00:16:25,586 --> 00:16:26,696
and... And drawing
penises now.
384
00:16:26,720 --> 00:16:27,854
Oh, no, I... Uh,
385
00:16:27,954 --> 00:16:29,299
I told you, Lolo's
an amazing artist.
386
00:16:29,323 --> 00:16:31,057
- I do body positive art.
- Interesting.
387
00:16:31,157 --> 00:16:33,059
And remind me your name again.
388
00:16:33,159 --> 00:16:35,696
My legal name is
Vanessa. Call me Deadeye.
389
00:16:35,795 --> 00:16:38,831
Oh, where did
that... Come from?
390
00:16:41,834 --> 00:16:43,102
You know, I think I get it.
391
00:16:44,305 --> 00:16:45,749
- Come to my chair.
- Are you serious?
392
00:16:45,773 --> 00:16:46,949
Come to my chair.
393
00:16:46,973 --> 00:16:48,709
Wait, wait. Oh, my
Gosh, this is so cool!
394
00:16:48,808 --> 00:16:50,243
Okay.
395
00:16:50,344 --> 00:16:51,978
So, when do we get
to meet your fiance?
396
00:16:52,078 --> 00:16:54,213
Oh. You just saw him.
397
00:16:54,315 --> 00:16:55,716
- He's the leading man.
- Uh...
398
00:16:55,815 --> 00:16:58,319
Wait, the human Mushu?
399
00:16:58,419 --> 00:16:59,620
Oh, there he is.
400
00:17:04,057 --> 00:17:05,592
♪ I'm a phreak
401
00:17:06,493 --> 00:17:07,960
♪ I'm a trip
402
00:17:08,928 --> 00:17:10,431
♪ It's the business
403
00:17:11,130 --> 00:17:12,466
♪ That's what it is
404
00:17:14,233 --> 00:17:16,437
♪ Has anybody ever told
you got fresh, boss?
405
00:17:16,537 --> 00:17:17,671
♪ I have to ask you, boss
406
00:17:17,771 --> 00:17:19,205
♪ Ask you that question, God
407
00:17:19,306 --> 00:17:21,346
♪ It happens to me daily
I'm just so blessed because
408
00:17:21,442 --> 00:17:22,818
♪ I'm the best there
was Better than sexy ♪
409
00:17:22,842 --> 00:17:23,976
Mmm.
410
00:17:24,077 --> 00:17:25,546
- Hey.
- Hi, honey.
411
00:17:25,646 --> 00:17:28,749
Hey, I'm so sorry. I had to,
uh, get outta my costume.
412
00:17:28,848 --> 00:17:30,384
It's just so itchy and tight.
413
00:17:30,484 --> 00:17:31,918
Clarence,
414
00:17:32,018 --> 00:17:34,588
Audrey is my best
friend from college.
415
00:17:34,688 --> 00:17:35,799
- Oh, yeah, yeah.
- Oh.
416
00:17:35,823 --> 00:17:37,890
Hi. We're best
friends, actually.
417
00:17:37,990 --> 00:17:39,068
Clarence and I met on
the set of the show.
418
00:17:39,092 --> 00:17:40,794
He plays the military hero.
419
00:17:40,893 --> 00:17:43,564
Oh, we just saw you. It
was so good. You're really great.
420
00:17:43,664 --> 00:17:45,098
And I play the good girl.
421
00:17:45,198 --> 00:17:48,201
Played the good girl in my
last two dramas too. It's...
422
00:17:48,302 --> 00:17:49,536
I think it's kinda my brand.
423
00:17:49,636 --> 00:17:51,405
She's an
absolute angel, isn't she?
424
00:17:51,505 --> 00:17:56,909
Kat and I thank God every
day for bringing us together.
425
00:17:57,009 --> 00:17:58,978
- Are you two Bible-thumpers?
- What?
426
00:17:59,078 --> 00:18:01,648
Oh, I... I have always
been a woman of God.
427
00:18:01,749 --> 00:18:04,109
I mean, remember that was one
of the first things I told you
428
00:18:04,150 --> 00:18:06,520
- when we met, right, Audrey?
- That...
429
00:18:06,620 --> 00:18:08,756
I am a good Christian girl
430
00:18:08,856 --> 00:18:10,156
saving myself for marriage.
431
00:18:10,256 --> 00:18:12,393
- Wait, what?
- Wait, wait, wait. You two...
432
00:18:13,059 --> 00:18:14,894
have never had sex.
433
00:18:14,994 --> 00:18:17,498
Our connection is
based on spiritual,
434
00:18:17,598 --> 00:18:18,998
not physical intimacy.
435
00:18:19,098 --> 00:18:20,933
Did you have a
spiritual connection
436
00:18:21,033 --> 00:18:23,136
when the Jonas Brothers
were Eiffel towering you?
437
00:18:23,236 --> 00:18:25,171
Oh, my God.
438
00:18:27,307 --> 00:18:30,176
Oh, my God. That's so
funny. I love Paris.
439
00:18:30,276 --> 00:18:31,845
Right?
440
00:18:31,944 --> 00:18:33,255
I gotta go. You good?
You need anything?
441
00:18:33,279 --> 00:18:34,715
I'm good, my love. Thank you.
442
00:18:34,815 --> 00:18:37,116
- Okay, come here.
- Mmm.
443
00:18:37,216 --> 00:18:38,819
Aw!
444
00:18:41,522 --> 00:18:42,689
Oh. Uh...
445
00:18:42,790 --> 00:18:44,658
Mmm, mmm, mmm.
446
00:18:44,758 --> 00:18:46,092
Mmm, mmm, oh, oh.
447
00:18:46,192 --> 00:18:49,061
- Ooh. Uh...
- Leave some room for Jesus.
448
00:18:52,198 --> 00:18:53,065
Yes!
449
00:18:53,166 --> 00:18:54,501
Yeah.
450
00:18:54,601 --> 00:18:56,579
- Nice to meet you all.
- So good to meet...
451
00:18:56,603 --> 00:18:58,872
Okay.
452
00:18:58,971 --> 00:19:00,273
Go away!
453
00:19:03,644 --> 00:19:07,079
So, has Clarence ever
seen your pussy tat?
454
00:19:09,949 --> 00:19:13,687
I do confess that at one point
I did have a tiny sunflower
455
00:19:13,787 --> 00:19:15,522
on my inner thigh.
456
00:19:15,622 --> 00:19:16,924
"Edgy."
457
00:19:17,023 --> 00:19:19,460
But it doesn't even matter
because, um, it's gone.
458
00:19:19,560 --> 00:19:20,861
Lasers work miracles.
459
00:19:20,960 --> 00:19:23,029
Okay? Gone.
460
00:19:23,129 --> 00:19:24,273
- Prove it.
- Lolo.
461
00:19:24,297 --> 00:19:27,099
Mmm. YOLO, Lolo.
462
00:19:27,200 --> 00:19:29,035
You know, I used to
be like you in college
463
00:19:29,135 --> 00:19:30,346
but guess I just grew out of it.
464
00:19:30,370 --> 00:19:32,906
Really? Oh, 'cause
you seem kinda tense
465
00:19:33,005 --> 00:19:34,842
from
all the no-boning.
466
00:19:34,942 --> 00:19:38,177
You sure you're good? You sure
you don't miss it?
467
00:19:38,277 --> 00:19:40,681
No tongue until the wedding
bell's rung, my friend.
468
00:19:40,781 --> 00:19:43,049
Okay. Um, well, we should
get going now, right?
469
00:19:43,149 --> 00:19:46,353
So, um, we have to go to
this place called Radiance.
470
00:19:46,453 --> 00:19:48,665
It's crazy that a business
meeting is happening at a club.
471
00:19:48,689 --> 00:19:52,058
- But when in Rome, do what the Romans do.
- Bathe together.
472
00:19:52,158 --> 00:19:53,268
- Huh.
- Well, lucky for you,
473
00:19:53,292 --> 00:19:55,228
I wrapped early,
so I can come now.
474
00:19:55,329 --> 00:19:57,096
I mean, you still need
a translator, right?
475
00:19:57,196 --> 00:19:58,998
- Actually Lolo offered...
- Yeah.
476
00:20:10,109 --> 00:20:11,077
What is that?
477
00:20:15,114 --> 00:20:16,483
Okay.
478
00:20:18,050 --> 00:20:19,953
- I like her.
- No, you don't.
479
00:20:34,100 --> 00:20:36,068
Okay, we
gotta find the CEO.
480
00:20:36,168 --> 00:20:37,848
Just remember, it's
really important for me
481
00:20:37,938 --> 00:20:39,014
to get him to sign tonight.
482
00:20:40,908 --> 00:20:42,108
Oh, shit.
483
00:20:42,208 --> 00:20:44,411
Hi!
484
00:20:44,511 --> 00:20:47,046
Hi, Mr. Lin. It's
so nice to meet you.
485
00:20:47,146 --> 00:20:48,682
I'm so excited to
talk about the deal.
486
00:20:49,917 --> 00:20:51,250
Oh. Oh.
487
00:20:52,218 --> 00:20:53,587
Yeah. Uh-huh.
488
00:20:53,687 --> 00:20:54,564
Guys, what's he saying?
489
00:20:54,588 --> 00:20:56,523
- Uh, Chunhwa?
- Chunhwa. Yes.
490
00:21:00,994 --> 00:21:02,329
Choo-choo!
491
00:21:04,698 --> 00:21:06,333
Oh.
492
00:21:06,433 --> 00:21:09,536
Yes!
493
00:21:11,738 --> 00:21:14,441
♪ Whoa, I'm a big bag
hunter with the bow
494
00:21:14,541 --> 00:21:16,310
♪ She got a big bad
dumper Drop it low
495
00:21:16,410 --> 00:21:17,844
Honestly,
Chao's way younger
496
00:21:17,945 --> 00:21:19,211
than I thought he was gonna be.
497
00:21:19,313 --> 00:21:20,881
- Right?
- And hot.
498
00:21:20,981 --> 00:21:22,081
I'd smash.
499
00:21:22,181 --> 00:21:23,850
Okay, please
don't hit on him.
500
00:21:23,951 --> 00:21:25,552
- Are you good?
- Mmm.
501
00:21:25,652 --> 00:21:27,354
You don't normally
eat real Chinese food.
502
00:21:27,454 --> 00:21:28,831
Yeah, and you don't have
to drink everything either.
503
00:21:28,855 --> 00:21:31,223
I heard that if you keep
up with Chinese businessmen
504
00:21:31,325 --> 00:21:32,693
they respect you more.
505
00:21:35,194 --> 00:21:38,599
- What are these?
- Shit. Thousand-year-old egg shots.
506
00:21:38,699 --> 00:21:40,000
So fucking good.
507
00:21:40,099 --> 00:21:41,835
I don't know if you
can handle it, though.
508
00:21:41,935 --> 00:21:43,637
They're so black and gooey.
509
00:21:43,737 --> 00:21:44,905
I love goo.
510
00:21:53,313 --> 00:21:54,691
♪ Yeah, feel so hot like
I'm chillin' on the beach
511
00:21:54,715 --> 00:21:57,116
♪ Yeah, baby in the sun
like the Teletubbies ♪
512
00:22:00,020 --> 00:22:01,888
- Audrey, you okay?
- Mmm.
513
00:22:03,289 --> 00:22:05,291
Mmm.
514
00:22:05,826 --> 00:22:07,193
Mmm, mmm.
515
00:22:09,696 --> 00:22:10,864
Swallow it.
516
00:22:24,911 --> 00:22:25,879
Oh.
517
00:22:25,979 --> 00:22:26,947
Let's play!
518
00:22:27,047 --> 00:22:29,349
Oh, is this a drinking game?
519
00:22:29,449 --> 00:22:30,717
What are... What
are the rules?
520
00:22:30,817 --> 00:22:32,019
- Oh.
- Ah!
521
00:22:35,254 --> 00:22:36,723
Oh!
522
00:22:42,829 --> 00:22:43,830
Okay.
523
00:22:48,001 --> 00:22:49,503
You ready to lose
to a celebrity?
524
00:22:49,603 --> 00:22:52,305
Oh, I can't wait to
slap the shit outta you.
525
00:22:52,406 --> 00:22:54,408
Mmm.
526
00:22:57,911 --> 00:22:59,211
Oh! Ah!
527
00:22:59,312 --> 00:23:01,348
Oh, okay. Mmm.
528
00:23:01,448 --> 00:23:02,949
Mmm.
529
00:23:03,050 --> 00:23:04,250
Oh.
530
00:23:06,053 --> 00:23:07,888
Oh!
531
00:23:13,160 --> 00:23:15,128
Audrey...
532
00:23:15,227 --> 00:23:16,572
You
and me? You and me?
533
00:23:16,596 --> 00:23:18,230
- Yeah. Uh...
- Yeah. Let's fucking go!
534
00:23:18,331 --> 00:23:20,400
Yeah, you're evens,
okay? Uh, you got this.
535
00:23:20,500 --> 00:23:22,035
Close this fucking deal.
536
00:23:22,135 --> 00:23:23,804
That's my bitch!
537
00:23:30,209 --> 00:23:32,512
I won? I won! I won, right?
538
00:23:32,612 --> 00:23:33,480
I won!
539
00:23:35,348 --> 00:23:37,117
I won! I won!
540
00:23:37,216 --> 00:23:38,628
Audrey!
541
00:23:43,255 --> 00:23:44,558
Oh, shit.
542
00:23:44,658 --> 00:23:46,760
Audrey!
Audrey! Yes!
543
00:23:46,860 --> 00:23:50,130
You just nailed him
like Mike fuckin' Tyson!
544
00:23:50,229 --> 00:23:51,498
I'm so sorry.
545
00:23:57,003 --> 00:23:58,237
Oh, no, you're good.
546
00:23:58,338 --> 00:23:59,415
- Did I hit him?
- Yeah, yeah, he's fine.
547
00:23:59,439 --> 00:24:01,174
Yeah! Yeah!
548
00:24:01,273 --> 00:24:02,342
I'm just gonna... Yeah!
549
00:24:07,781 --> 00:24:09,850
I'm so, so fucked.
550
00:24:09,950 --> 00:24:11,151
No, no, you're good.
551
00:24:11,250 --> 00:24:13,386
Oh, thank God
for Kat. Look at her.
552
00:24:13,487 --> 00:24:16,089
Chunhwa just schmoozing
with those businessmen,
553
00:24:16,189 --> 00:24:17,357
salvaging our night.
554
00:24:17,457 --> 00:24:19,826
God. I love her.
555
00:24:19,926 --> 00:24:22,286
- God, I'm gonna be sick again.
- I'll get you a ginger ale.
556
00:24:22,329 --> 00:24:25,499
Get me a new face or
stomach, or something.
557
00:24:25,599 --> 00:24:27,143
- Are you feeling better?
- I'm so sorry.
558
00:24:27,167 --> 00:24:30,170
I... I usually don't, um,
have eggs like that and...
559
00:24:30,269 --> 00:24:31,471
Wait. Uh.
560
00:24:32,105 --> 00:24:33,373
Do you speak English?
561
00:24:33,473 --> 00:24:35,274
Many Chinese people
speak English.
562
00:24:35,375 --> 00:24:38,879
But most Americans
do not speak Chinese.
563
00:24:38,979 --> 00:24:40,614
It's always fun to pretend.
564
00:24:40,714 --> 00:24:43,416
By the way, I appreciate that
you would want to smash this.
565
00:24:43,517 --> 00:24:46,686
Oh. Well, I
would. I'd smash it really...
566
00:24:46,787 --> 00:24:49,089
I can see it's your
first time in China.
567
00:24:49,189 --> 00:24:50,624
Yeah. You know what? I'm...
568
00:24:50,724 --> 00:24:52,869
I'm usually not like this.
I'm... I'm so sorry, I got sick.
569
00:24:52,893 --> 00:24:55,595
But I'm... I'm very ready
to go over the terms
570
00:24:55,695 --> 00:24:56,863
of our business proposal.
571
00:24:56,963 --> 00:24:58,865
You know, there's a
saying in Chinese.
572
00:25:04,304 --> 00:25:06,464
It means, you
can tell a lot about a person
573
00:25:06,506 --> 00:25:07,607
by their family.
574
00:25:07,707 --> 00:25:09,609
Do you have any
relatives in China?
575
00:25:09,709 --> 00:25:11,244
Oh, uh, yeah, well, probably.
576
00:25:11,344 --> 00:25:14,347
Uh, sure, yes.
Definitely, probably.
577
00:25:14,447 --> 00:25:15,982
Um, I... I was adopted, so...
578
00:25:16,082 --> 00:25:19,052
Oh, well, if you do not
know where you come from,
579
00:25:19,152 --> 00:25:20,487
how do you know who you are?
580
00:25:20,587 --> 00:25:22,789
Oh, God. No,
no, I know where I'm from.
581
00:25:22,889 --> 00:25:24,867
Actually, you know, I was
born here, but I am American.
582
00:25:24,891 --> 00:25:27,060
So, you have no contact
with your Chinese family.
583
00:25:27,160 --> 00:25:29,396
That's a shame.
584
00:25:31,798 --> 00:25:34,434
Uh...
What? What'd he say?
585
00:25:34,534 --> 00:25:38,371
Well, she's actually really
close with her birth mother.
586
00:25:40,640 --> 00:25:42,642
- Yeah. Like that.
- Oh.
587
00:25:42,742 --> 00:25:44,511
- Really?
- Yeah, yeah.
588
00:25:44,611 --> 00:25:45,922
We're actually meeting
up with her this week.
589
00:25:46,913 --> 00:25:48,292
My
mother is celebrating
590
00:25:48,316 --> 00:25:49,583
her 70th birthday this Friday.
591
00:25:49,683 --> 00:25:51,418
- Oh, wow.
- It's gonna be a big event.
592
00:25:51,518 --> 00:25:53,520
Her favorite performer's
gonna be there. DJ Tiesto.
593
00:25:53,620 --> 00:25:56,423
We're gonna have gift
bags, oranges, Teslas,
594
00:25:56,523 --> 00:25:58,326
Bitcoin, that kinda thing.
595
00:25:58,425 --> 00:26:01,161
I would love for you to
come. Bring your mother.
596
00:26:01,261 --> 00:26:02,929
My mother? Um, no... Oh...
597
00:26:03,029 --> 00:26:04,865
Oh, you know what, uh,
we couldn't impose.
598
00:26:04,965 --> 00:26:07,400
- No, no, I insist.
- You insist. He insists.
599
00:26:07,500 --> 00:26:09,946
- Oh, yeah. This one.
- How are we supposed to do business together
600
00:26:09,970 --> 00:26:11,705
if we do not know
each other's families?
601
00:26:11,805 --> 00:26:13,165
We can't do business
if we don't...
602
00:26:13,206 --> 00:26:15,542
Come to the event, and
we'll close the deal there.
603
00:26:15,642 --> 00:26:17,878
Oh, yeah.
604
00:26:21,114 --> 00:26:22,616
Oh. Finally.
605
00:26:22,716 --> 00:26:24,316
We'll be there. It's...
It's a mom party.
606
00:26:24,384 --> 00:26:26,486
So, it's settled then.
607
00:26:26,586 --> 00:26:29,122
I... Just give me
a minute.
608
00:26:30,423 --> 00:26:31,767
Hell yeah, I'm
not okay.
609
00:26:31,791 --> 00:26:33,393
I can't feel my face.
610
00:26:33,493 --> 00:26:35,395
Oh, fuck.
611
00:26:35,495 --> 00:26:37,530
Fuck. That went so
fucking terribly.
612
00:26:37,631 --> 00:26:39,532
Not to me. Uh, I feel
closer to you than ever.
613
00:26:39,633 --> 00:26:41,110
- Oh, my God.
- Whoa, whoa, whoa.
614
00:26:41,134 --> 00:26:43,079
Uh, no, no, no. I'm good.
I'm good. Deadeye, I'm so...
615
00:26:43,103 --> 00:26:45,538
I'm so sorry again that I
threw up on you. We got...
616
00:26:45,639 --> 00:26:46,706
We better clean you up.
617
00:26:46,806 --> 00:26:48,508
Okay, I... I'll find something.
618
00:26:50,543 --> 00:26:52,078
See, I knew this
was gonna happen
619
00:26:52,178 --> 00:26:53,789
if I brought you on this
business trip, Lolo.
620
00:26:53,813 --> 00:26:55,173
You're always doing
shit like this.
621
00:26:55,248 --> 00:26:56,716
What about a "thank you?"
622
00:26:56,816 --> 00:26:58,828
I mean, you were sinking in
there, and I saved your ass.
623
00:26:58,852 --> 00:27:00,492
Well, whatever you
were doing, you failed.
624
00:27:00,587 --> 00:27:02,055
This is my job.
625
00:27:02,155 --> 00:27:04,166
Why would you lie and tell
Chao that I knew my birth mom?
626
00:27:04,190 --> 00:27:05,592
- That's insane.
- That is insane.
627
00:27:05,692 --> 00:27:08,194
Are you her echo? Who the
fuck asked for your opinion?
628
00:27:08,295 --> 00:27:09,705
Well, what do you
expect her to do now?
629
00:27:09,729 --> 00:27:11,665
She could go find her birth mom.
630
00:27:11,765 --> 00:27:12,808
Just like we always
said we would.
631
00:27:12,832 --> 00:27:13,943
That was hypothetical.
632
00:27:13,967 --> 00:27:15,369
We don't even know where she is.
633
00:27:15,468 --> 00:27:16,712
What, you want me to
search all of China?
634
00:27:16,736 --> 00:27:18,416
Give it to me!
635
00:27:19,639 --> 00:27:21,508
- Great.
- So, the other day,
636
00:27:21,608 --> 00:27:23,476
I may have called
the adoption agency
637
00:27:23,576 --> 00:27:24,711
and pretended to be you.
638
00:27:24,811 --> 00:27:26,613
- What are you talking about?
- Wow!
639
00:27:26,713 --> 00:27:28,281
Apparently, at the
time of adoption
640
00:27:28,382 --> 00:27:29,683
she agreed to be contacted.
641
00:27:29,783 --> 00:27:31,017
She's open to meeting you.
642
00:27:32,018 --> 00:27:34,220
Her address is on there.
She lives in Haiching,
643
00:27:34,322 --> 00:27:35,598
which is super
close to Nai Nai's.
644
00:27:35,622 --> 00:27:36,957
And we'll just stay with them.
645
00:27:37,057 --> 00:27:39,492
Oh, no, no, no. She
can't handle it!
646
00:27:39,592 --> 00:27:40,903
Wait, no. Why not?
I can handle it.
647
00:27:40,927 --> 00:27:42,829
Nai Nai's like, Chinese-Chinese.
648
00:27:42,929 --> 00:27:44,965
Like, "super long hair
coming out of a mole
649
00:27:45,065 --> 00:27:47,233
"and refuses to pluck it
'cause it's bad luck" Chinese.
650
00:27:47,335 --> 00:27:48,635
"Forces you to overeat,
651
00:27:48,735 --> 00:27:50,347
"and then comments on your
weight later" Chinese.
652
00:27:50,371 --> 00:27:52,548
Like, literally, "take her bra
off, wipe her under-boob sweat
653
00:27:52,572 --> 00:27:53,749
"in the middle of
a Buddhist temple
654
00:27:53,773 --> 00:27:55,175
"and make you sniff it" Chinese.
655
00:27:55,275 --> 00:27:57,387
"Has a plastic bag full of
other plastic bags" Chinese.
656
00:27:57,411 --> 00:27:58,812
Don't act like you
know my family.
657
00:27:58,912 --> 00:28:01,072
You don't know what we've
been through. Look at Deadeye!
658
00:28:01,114 --> 00:28:02,949
Look at me! Look at me!
659
00:28:03,049 --> 00:28:05,485
It'll be fine. We'll
take the train and...
660
00:28:05,585 --> 00:28:07,020
And go straight to Haiching
661
00:28:07,120 --> 00:28:08,365
and we'll be there
tomorrow afternoon.
662
00:28:08,389 --> 00:28:09,689
And I'm gonna close this deal.
663
00:28:09,789 --> 00:28:11,858
And it'd be really nice
to meet your birth mother.
664
00:28:13,226 --> 00:28:14,627
Okay.
665
00:28:15,996 --> 00:28:17,276
Okay, will you
guys come with me?
666
00:28:17,365 --> 00:28:18,665
Fuck yes, bitch.
667
00:28:18,765 --> 00:28:20,609
- I'm here for you, Audrey.
- Oh, my God, thank you.
668
00:28:20,633 --> 00:28:22,436
- Really?
- I love a grand adventure.
669
00:28:22,535 --> 00:28:24,604
Thank you. Thank you. Okay.
670
00:28:24,704 --> 00:28:26,072
Okay, so were gonna
go to Haiching.
671
00:28:26,172 --> 00:28:27,384
Okay, all right. Yeah, we're
doin' it. We're doin' it.
672
00:28:27,408 --> 00:28:28,376
- Haiching, baby!
- Yes!
673
00:28:30,210 --> 00:28:32,145
Guys, guys, I'm a boy.
674
00:28:41,888 --> 00:28:43,032
Just so you guys know,
675
00:28:43,056 --> 00:28:45,959
I have extra cash
in my money belt.
676
00:28:46,059 --> 00:28:47,603
And also, our passports
are in there too.
677
00:28:47,627 --> 00:28:49,306
- Why are you being paranoid?
- Don't worry.
678
00:28:49,330 --> 00:28:51,631
I've got locks on my
bag. Just put it in here.
679
00:28:51,731 --> 00:28:53,199
- Really?
- Of course.
680
00:28:53,299 --> 00:28:54,677
Okay. Make sure your
bags are zipped at all times.
681
00:28:54,701 --> 00:28:56,102
See? Zip it. Zip it. Zip it.
682
00:28:56,202 --> 00:28:58,238
We're in China. It's the
safest place in the world.
683
00:28:58,339 --> 00:28:59,706
I heard that if you're short,
684
00:28:59,806 --> 00:29:01,485
you'll get kidnapped to go
live on a gymnastics farm.
685
00:29:01,509 --> 00:29:02,809
That's not a thing.
686
00:29:02,909 --> 00:29:04,349
All I'm saying is
that as foreigners,
687
00:29:04,412 --> 00:29:05,879
we need to be extra
vigilant, okay?
688
00:29:05,979 --> 00:29:07,690
Just keep our heads on
a swivel. And watch what
689
00:29:07,714 --> 00:29:09,393
- we eat and what we drink.
- Ooh, good call.
690
00:29:09,417 --> 00:29:11,318
- Let's get some snacks.
- Nom, nom, nom.
691
00:29:11,419 --> 00:29:12,819
- Squid on a stick.
- Okay.
692
00:29:12,919 --> 00:29:14,455
Just come back here, okay?
693
00:29:14,587 --> 00:29:15,965
- We have eight minutes.
- Okay, guess what?
694
00:29:15,989 --> 00:29:18,359
Remember when I told you I
auditioned for that movie?
695
00:29:18,459 --> 00:29:19,527
Sweet Home Orange County?
696
00:29:19,626 --> 00:29:21,462
- Well, I got the part.
- You what?
697
00:29:21,561 --> 00:29:23,364
I'm gonna be in LA next summer.
698
00:29:23,464 --> 00:29:24,731
Oh, congratulations.
699
00:29:24,831 --> 00:29:26,343
Isn't there a chance
you're gonna be in LA too?
700
00:29:26,367 --> 00:29:27,334
Yeah.
701
00:29:27,435 --> 00:29:29,102
- Hotties in La La Land!
- See,
702
00:29:29,202 --> 00:29:31,281
this is why I have to close
this deal and make partner.
703
00:29:31,305 --> 00:29:32,540
It's gonna be so amazing
704
00:29:32,639 --> 00:29:34,408
to have a friend there.
I mean, you really...
705
00:29:34,508 --> 00:29:35,651
You really know me.
706
00:29:35,675 --> 00:29:36,919
- Yeah, I know.
- You've seen a lot.
707
00:29:36,943 --> 00:29:38,111
I've seen a little too much.
708
00:29:42,782 --> 00:29:44,951
Do you think it's okay that
I haven't told Clarence
709
00:29:45,051 --> 00:29:46,353
everything about my past and...
710
00:29:46,454 --> 00:29:48,755
Yeah, no, it's totally okay.
711
00:29:48,855 --> 00:29:50,424
I mean, hey, can you...
712
00:29:50,524 --> 00:29:51,801
- Okay.
- Not mention LA to Lolo?
713
00:29:51,825 --> 00:29:53,336
I haven't really told
her about it yet.
714
00:29:53,360 --> 00:29:54,727
Is there an issue there?
715
00:29:54,828 --> 00:29:56,406
Yeah, no, I mean,
I'll tell her eventually.
716
00:29:56,430 --> 00:29:59,099
But, uh, you know, she doesn't
have as much going on as I do.
717
00:30:01,801 --> 00:30:02,845
And I, I just think it might be
718
00:30:02,869 --> 00:30:04,371
great to have some space.
719
00:30:04,472 --> 00:30:06,606
I get it.
720
00:30:07,308 --> 00:30:08,442
It's between you and me.
721
00:30:08,542 --> 00:30:10,311
- Thank you. Zip.
- Zip.
722
00:30:11,244 --> 00:30:12,078
Where do we sit?
723
00:30:12,178 --> 00:30:14,180
Find any car
with open seats.
724
00:30:17,750 --> 00:30:19,285
Those
guys look shady.
725
00:30:19,386 --> 00:30:21,263
- Oh, there's room here.
- I'm not really...
726
00:30:21,287 --> 00:30:22,622
We'd have to squeeze.
727
00:30:22,722 --> 00:30:24,657
I hate the smell of oranges.
728
00:30:26,259 --> 00:30:29,028
Oh, hi, um, is anyone else
sitting here with you?
729
00:30:30,564 --> 00:30:33,133
No. Sorry. No. They're
not sitting here.
730
00:30:33,233 --> 00:30:34,435
Oh, amazing. Hey, guys!
731
00:30:34,535 --> 00:30:36,403
Guys, guys, come
on. I found one.
732
00:30:37,605 --> 00:30:40,206
It's so nice to see an American.
733
00:30:40,307 --> 00:30:41,475
Where are you visiting from?
734
00:30:41,575 --> 00:30:43,743
Oh, um, I actually
live in Beijing.
735
00:30:43,843 --> 00:30:45,412
No way. She lives here.
736
00:30:45,513 --> 00:30:46,713
Yeah. I
moved here, like,
737
00:30:46,746 --> 00:30:47,823
I wanna say, five
years ago. I love it.
738
00:30:47,847 --> 00:30:49,849
Also, looking like me here
739
00:30:49,949 --> 00:30:51,751
- I get so much attention.
- Totally.
740
00:30:51,851 --> 00:30:52,952
Asian people with me,
741
00:30:53,052 --> 00:30:54,622
it's just... They've...
I... I'm Gisele.
742
00:30:54,754 --> 00:30:55,931
Yeah. So,
you like living here?
743
00:30:55,955 --> 00:30:57,657
I love it. The
people are great,
744
00:30:57,757 --> 00:30:59,168
the food's incredible.
And it's safe.
745
00:30:59,192 --> 00:31:01,961
Is it safe? Because,
I... I mean,
746
00:31:02,061 --> 00:31:04,073
I just, I hear there's a lot
of pickpockets here, right?
747
00:31:04,097 --> 00:31:06,733
And Chinese youths are
getting really into drugs.
748
00:31:06,833 --> 00:31:08,134
Fuck yeah, they are.
749
00:31:08,234 --> 00:31:09,714
Chinese kids
are cool as fuck.
750
00:31:09,802 --> 00:31:11,070
They fucking party.
751
00:31:11,171 --> 00:31:12,531
You can get anything
you want here.
752
00:31:12,606 --> 00:31:14,908
I... It's... It's
so unbelievable.
753
00:31:15,008 --> 00:31:16,377
I mean, anything you want.
754
00:31:16,477 --> 00:31:17,777
China White, benzos, bush, kush.
755
00:31:17,877 --> 00:31:19,517
Uh, just curious, what
do you do for work?
756
00:31:19,580 --> 00:31:20,548
- Hmm?
- Mmm?
757
00:31:20,648 --> 00:31:22,282
Oh, I do import. I do import
758
00:31:22,383 --> 00:31:24,552
- and then I... I also do export.
- That's so cool.
759
00:31:24,652 --> 00:31:26,119
So like, like furniture?
760
00:31:26,219 --> 00:31:27,388
Sure.
761
00:31:27,488 --> 00:31:29,889
I have my period. I'm
gonna go to the bathroom.
762
00:31:29,989 --> 00:31:32,359
Oh, shit.
I'm bleeding.
763
00:31:33,594 --> 00:31:34,861
Fuck.
764
00:31:34,961 --> 00:31:36,640
- Oh, my God. She's so sweet!
- Are you serious?
765
00:31:36,664 --> 00:31:38,908
- That bitch is so suspicious.
- What are you talking about?
766
00:31:38,932 --> 00:31:41,201
- She's super nice.
- Okay, I know you chose her
767
00:31:41,301 --> 00:31:44,305
because she's American
varsity blue corn-fed bitch,
768
00:31:44,405 --> 00:31:45,573
but, like, no!
769
00:31:45,673 --> 00:31:47,183
No, she's totally
sus! There's something
770
00:31:47,207 --> 00:31:48,851
- wrong with her.
- Yeah, you're not my favorite,
771
00:31:48,875 --> 00:31:50,085
- but I do agree.
- Shit! Fuck!
772
00:31:50,109 --> 00:31:51,354
- Hey, are you...
- Fuck! Fuck! Fuck!
773
00:31:51,378 --> 00:31:52,656
Are you okay?
774
00:31:52,680 --> 00:31:53,813
Pox is gonna kill me.
775
00:31:53,913 --> 00:31:55,392
- I know it's hot in here.
- Fuck!
776
00:31:55,416 --> 00:31:56,825
- You can't open that window.
- What are you looking at?
777
00:31:56,849 --> 00:31:58,227
There's nothing to
fucking see here.
778
00:31:58,251 --> 00:31:59,862
Don't look at me like
that.
779
00:31:59,886 --> 00:32:01,886
What is that?
780
00:32:05,758 --> 00:32:07,337
It's the cops. They're
doing a bag check.
781
00:32:07,361 --> 00:32:08,971
Um, yeah, there's a drug
dealer on the train.
782
00:32:08,995 --> 00:32:11,332
- Oh, fuck!
- Who do we think it is?
783
00:32:11,432 --> 00:32:12,700
The family with the oranges?
784
00:32:12,799 --> 00:32:15,768
Audrey, get a fucking
grip! It's this bitch.
785
00:32:15,868 --> 00:32:17,170
Oh, my God! You're
a drug dealer?
786
00:32:17,270 --> 00:32:19,014
Of course, I am. I was
trying to sell you drugs.
787
00:32:19,038 --> 00:32:20,417
Okay, you need to
get rid of that now.
788
00:32:20,441 --> 00:32:21,841
Get rid of it.
789
00:32:21,941 --> 00:32:23,353
We need to get rid of that.
'Cause if I'm going down,
790
00:32:23,377 --> 00:32:25,057
you little dipshits
are going down with me.
791
00:32:25,144 --> 00:32:26,656
We're American. They're
gonna come after all of us.
792
00:32:26,680 --> 00:32:28,760
If the cops ask, we'll just
say we have nothing to do
793
00:32:28,848 --> 00:32:29,849
with her.
794
00:32:31,217 --> 00:32:32,919
You're drug dealers
now, bitches!
795
00:32:33,019 --> 00:32:34,087
What the fuck?
796
00:32:34,187 --> 00:32:35,922
Okay, that is good
shit, by the way.
797
00:32:36,022 --> 00:32:37,190
Yeah, I only sell the best.
798
00:32:38,758 --> 00:32:39,993
Oh, fuck. Fuck.
799
00:32:40,093 --> 00:32:41,261
- No, no, no.
- Oh, shit.
800
00:32:41,362 --> 00:32:42,922
We can't get caught
with drugs in China.
801
00:32:42,996 --> 00:32:44,674
We'll get deported. Or
jail, probably for life.
802
00:32:44,698 --> 00:32:46,643
Oh, my God, is this what
happened in Brokedown Palace?
803
00:32:46,667 --> 00:32:47,735
That was Thailand!
804
00:32:47,834 --> 00:32:48,911
Oh, my God. I'm
gonna get disbarred.
805
00:32:48,935 --> 00:32:50,504
I am too famous for jail.
806
00:32:50,604 --> 00:32:51,914
You guys need to
calm the fuck down
807
00:32:51,938 --> 00:32:53,048
and you need to fuckin'
listen to me, okay?
808
00:32:53,072 --> 00:32:54,408
Since that window's not working,
809
00:32:54,508 --> 00:32:55,951
we have two options. We
hide the drugs in our body,
810
00:32:55,975 --> 00:32:57,745
or we do them, okay?
I need your help.
811
00:32:57,844 --> 00:32:59,021
You look like you've
done a lot of drugs.
812
00:32:59,045 --> 00:33:00,189
- That's correct.
- You look like you've
813
00:33:00,213 --> 00:33:01,391
had a lot of things
in your asshole.
814
00:33:01,415 --> 00:33:02,975
Uh, not a lot of
things. Just one thing.
815
00:33:03,016 --> 00:33:04,327
But maybe different
varieties of that one thing,
816
00:33:04,351 --> 00:33:07,053
um, which is dick. I
mean, no, no!
817
00:33:07,153 --> 00:33:08,565
You don't understand. Cocaine
makes me really horny.
818
00:33:08,589 --> 00:33:10,232
- It could get really weird.
- I know you two aren't
819
00:33:10,256 --> 00:33:12,426
drug people and I know
you're super scared right now
820
00:33:12,526 --> 00:33:13,893
but you're gonna need to decide.
821
00:33:13,993 --> 00:33:15,271
Are you gonna step up for
your fellow countrywoman?
822
00:33:15,295 --> 00:33:17,130
You gonna plug or
you gonna play?
823
00:33:17,230 --> 00:33:18,164
No. Neither.
824
00:33:18,264 --> 00:33:20,534
Is that a condom?
825
00:33:20,634 --> 00:33:23,404
I'm not
ready to have sex!
826
00:33:29,075 --> 00:33:31,345
Fuck! Group project!
827
00:33:39,653 --> 00:33:40,733
Deadeye, get in there.
828
00:33:52,933 --> 00:33:54,834
You know what, I'll
handle this, okay?
829
00:33:54,859 --> 00:33:56,438
I got it. I got it,
guys. I got it, got it.
830
00:33:56,463 --> 00:33:58,046
Attention, Chinese policemen.
831
00:33:58,071 --> 00:33:59,754
Oh, shit. You're
about to get lawyered.
832
00:33:59,779 --> 00:34:01,752
Hello. Hi. Hi. Hi.
833
00:34:01,777 --> 00:34:03,254
I know that you think
that we have drugs,
834
00:34:03,279 --> 00:34:05,945
and we do not have drugs.
In fact, I'm a lawyer.
835
00:34:06,050 --> 00:34:08,987
I'm a lawyer. I'm in
fact, a very good lawyer.
836
00:34:09,012 --> 00:34:10,360
And so I just want
you to know that
837
00:34:10,384 --> 00:34:12,686
we are citizens of
Amer... America.
838
00:34:12,786 --> 00:34:14,388
And that is why I rest my case.
839
00:34:14,413 --> 00:34:16,448
- Bonk! Bonk!
- Mmm.
840
00:34:28,935 --> 00:34:30,575
- Mmm-mmm.
- Okay?
841
00:34:30,604 --> 00:34:32,924
And she took my
suitcase. She took my suitcase.
842
00:34:34,867 --> 00:34:35,984
Hey!
This is mine!
843
00:34:37,201 --> 00:34:38,346
Are you kidding? This is mine.
844
00:34:38,371 --> 00:34:40,674
I've never done
drugs in my life.
845
00:34:46,804 --> 00:34:47,972
Okay, okay. We're good,
846
00:34:47,997 --> 00:34:49,070
we're good, we're
good, we're good. Okay.
847
00:34:49,095 --> 00:34:51,165
Every... Everybody, calm
down. Calm down. Calm down.
848
00:34:51,190 --> 00:34:52,760
Oh, my God! What the fuck?
849
00:34:52,828 --> 00:34:54,596
That American girl
stole Kat's suitcase.
850
00:34:54,621 --> 00:34:55,977
Our passports are in there.
851
00:34:56,008 --> 00:34:58,335
Well, the bright side is, we
just got kicked off the train.
852
00:34:58,360 --> 00:35:00,241
We're not hanging by our
nipples in a meat freezer.
853
00:35:00,266 --> 00:35:01,891
No, no, no, no. If we do
not have our passports,
854
00:35:01,916 --> 00:35:03,352
then we can't go home.
And if we can't go home,
855
00:35:03,377 --> 00:35:05,321
then we can't go to our jobs.
And if we don't have jobs,
856
00:35:05,362 --> 00:35:07,457
we can't get more
money to get more coke.
857
00:35:07,482 --> 00:35:09,884
I want more coke. Oh, my
God. Is anyone else itchy?
858
00:35:09,909 --> 00:35:11,287
I'm sorry. I'm just,
I'm fucking itchy.
859
00:35:11,311 --> 00:35:12,979
Fuck. Fuck. Kat,
honey, you good?
860
00:35:13,004 --> 00:35:14,416
- Are they coming out?
- Yeah, but only seven.
861
00:35:14,441 --> 00:35:16,643
- And I think I put in eight.
- If you get a clean one
862
00:35:16,668 --> 00:35:18,126
could you just,
um, keep me posted?
863
00:35:18,151 --> 00:35:20,295
I hate you so much right now!
864
00:35:20,320 --> 00:35:22,356
Just push. Pull.
I mean, twist it.
865
00:35:22,381 --> 00:35:24,400
It's not a Bop It,
it's my asshole!
866
00:35:24,425 --> 00:35:26,092
Okay, just stick
your hand up there
867
00:35:26,192 --> 00:35:29,011
like a claw machine tryin'
to get the stuffed bear.
868
00:35:29,036 --> 00:35:31,072
- Okay.
- Deeper!
869
00:35:31,097 --> 00:35:32,499
- Okay.
- Higher!
870
00:35:32,599 --> 00:35:34,133
- Okay!
- Get that bear!
871
00:35:34,201 --> 00:35:35,837
I'm getting the bear!
872
00:35:36,043 --> 00:35:37,679
How are you so normal?
873
00:35:37,704 --> 00:35:39,784
You did, like, twice as much
stuff as the rest of us.
874
00:35:39,840 --> 00:35:42,626
I think all the coke and molly
just balanced out my system.
875
00:35:42,651 --> 00:35:44,018
I just feel good.
876
00:35:44,043 --> 00:35:45,219
Like, "just watched a child
877
00:35:45,244 --> 00:35:46,855
"fall through a
manhole cover" good.
878
00:35:46,880 --> 00:35:49,182
You deserve
it, little shit.
879
00:35:49,207 --> 00:35:51,410
You're a beautiful silk kimono.
880
00:35:54,287 --> 00:35:56,088
Is this a hot dog on a stick?
881
00:35:56,189 --> 00:35:57,891
You know what? Maybe
I just miscounted.
882
00:35:57,990 --> 00:35:59,192
It's probably seven.
883
00:36:09,536 --> 00:36:13,072
Deadeye! If you find
coke, come back!
884
00:36:13,172 --> 00:36:15,241
Guys, how have we
walked for hours
885
00:36:15,342 --> 00:36:16,910
and haven't seen one car?
886
00:36:17,009 --> 00:36:19,379
It's all good.
I DM'd Baron Davis.
887
00:36:20,380 --> 00:36:24,418
Fuck. The next town
is 27 kilometers away.
888
00:36:24,455 --> 00:36:26,390
My basketball boo
is on his way, okay?
889
00:36:26,553 --> 00:36:28,187
Oh.
Although, at this point,
890
00:36:28,287 --> 00:36:30,056
I don't even wanna
be rescued, okay?
891
00:36:30,156 --> 00:36:31,792
I cannot be seen in public
892
00:36:31,892 --> 00:36:33,035
looking like this.
893
00:36:33,059 --> 00:36:34,236
Yeah, you look like Hello Kitty
894
00:36:34,260 --> 00:36:35,796
just got skull-fucked by Grobie.
895
00:36:35,896 --> 00:36:39,566
Oh, my
God, you're so funny!
896
00:36:39,666 --> 00:36:40,834
Fuck you!
897
00:36:40,934 --> 00:36:42,803
This is all your fault.
898
00:36:42,903 --> 00:36:44,304
How is it my fault?
899
00:36:44,404 --> 00:36:46,473
I'm not the one who
chose the train cabin
900
00:36:46,573 --> 00:36:48,375
with the one obvious drug dealer
901
00:36:48,475 --> 00:36:51,445
just 'cause I'm a wee bit
racist against my own people.
902
00:36:51,545 --> 00:36:53,981
- I'm not racist.
- Hey, "not racist."
903
00:36:54,080 --> 00:36:55,281
But you don't like boba
904
00:36:55,382 --> 00:36:57,116
and you've never fucked
an Asian guy, so...
905
00:36:57,216 --> 00:36:59,419
- Damn. Still?
- No, no. Remember that
906
00:36:59,520 --> 00:37:01,955
foreign exchange
student from Kazakhstan?
907
00:37:02,088 --> 00:37:03,590
B... Bizi... Bizip? Uh, Bazid?
908
00:37:03,690 --> 00:37:05,592
- David?
- David. David.
909
00:37:05,692 --> 00:37:06,772
Is Kazakhstan even in Asia?
910
00:37:06,860 --> 00:37:08,170
They look kind of
Asian sometimes.
911
00:37:08,194 --> 00:37:10,296
- Oh, my God!
- Okay. Racist.
912
00:37:10,397 --> 00:37:12,733
When I masturbate, I sometimes
fantasize about Splinter.
913
00:37:12,833 --> 00:37:13,901
- He's Asian.
- He's a rat.
914
00:37:14,001 --> 00:37:15,536
He's a good father.
915
00:37:15,636 --> 00:37:18,539
Fine. Fine. I'm sorry,
okay? It's my fault.
916
00:37:19,940 --> 00:37:21,008
Oh, my God.
917
00:37:21,107 --> 00:37:22,643
We're in the middle of nowhere.
918
00:37:23,710 --> 00:37:24,745
My phone is dead.
919
00:37:24,845 --> 00:37:26,279
We don't have any food or water.
920
00:37:26,380 --> 00:37:28,515
God. I should have
never come to China.
921
00:37:28,615 --> 00:37:30,049
Wait, there's
someone on the road.
922
00:37:30,149 --> 00:37:31,989
No, there isn't. You're
probably hallucinating.
923
00:37:32,051 --> 00:37:33,987
Okay, maybe because
I also see a giraffe
924
00:37:34,086 --> 00:37:35,187
peeling off his spots
925
00:37:35,288 --> 00:37:36,657
and throwing them
like a frisbee.
926
00:37:36,757 --> 00:37:37,724
Oh, shit!
927
00:37:37,824 --> 00:37:39,191
Jeez.
928
00:37:39,292 --> 00:37:40,727
Okay, but that's a bus, right?
929
00:37:51,638 --> 00:37:52,439
Baron.
930
00:37:52,539 --> 00:37:54,240
I knew you would come for me.
931
00:37:54,341 --> 00:37:55,776
Ni hao, Lolo.
932
00:37:56,476 --> 00:37:58,312
I heard y'all needed a ride.
933
00:38:10,089 --> 00:38:12,100
Okay, so the team is going
to give us a ride to Haiching
934
00:38:12,124 --> 00:38:13,204
first thing in the morning.
935
00:38:13,292 --> 00:38:15,094
- And then we can...
- Ooh, ooh.
936
00:38:15,194 --> 00:38:16,597
Oh.
937
00:38:26,205 --> 00:38:28,675
Audrey, are you
eye-fucking an Asian guy?
938
00:38:28,775 --> 00:38:31,078
No. No, no. Don't. No. Lolo,
don't get us in trouble.
939
00:38:31,177 --> 00:38:32,346
We're just, you know, just,
940
00:38:32,446 --> 00:38:34,047
they're our ride, so
let's just be cool.
941
00:38:34,146 --> 00:38:36,717
- Let's be cool.
- I'm cool. I'm very cool.
942
00:38:36,817 --> 00:38:39,486
I'm gonna Jaws the fuck
outta Baron Davis tonight.
943
00:38:40,087 --> 00:38:41,187
Aah. Aah.
944
00:38:41,287 --> 00:38:42,889
- Your mouth is so big.
- Oh, my God.
945
00:38:42,990 --> 00:38:45,726
I know. But, look,
without teeth, not as big.
946
00:38:46,793 --> 00:38:48,371
- Why is mine so tiny?
- I'm all underbite.
947
00:38:48,395 --> 00:38:50,397
Okay. Can everyone
just close our mouths?
948
00:38:50,497 --> 00:38:53,299
Let's just be adults, right?
949
00:38:53,400 --> 00:38:57,236
Okay, they're just some
normal, attractive men.
950
00:38:57,337 --> 00:39:00,674
It's nothing to lose your
minds over. It's...
951
00:39:04,811 --> 00:39:06,346
- You okay?
- Oh, my God.
952
00:39:07,080 --> 00:39:09,148
It was eight coke bags.
953
00:39:09,248 --> 00:39:11,918
It was eight. I just
felt it burst.
954
00:39:15,489 --> 00:39:17,758
Your mouth is pretty
fuckin' big too.
955
00:39:17,858 --> 00:39:20,093
Are you horny? Finger me
twice if you're horny.
956
00:39:20,192 --> 00:39:22,062
Kat?
957
00:39:22,161 --> 00:39:24,831
Oh, shit.
What's up, chica?
958
00:39:24,931 --> 00:39:27,233
Fancy seeing you here.
959
00:39:27,334 --> 00:39:29,670
- I have no idea who you are.
- Wait. Todd?
960
00:39:29,770 --> 00:39:32,305
- What are you doing in China?
- Hey, China!
961
00:39:32,406 --> 00:39:34,074
Oh, man, you know...
962
00:39:34,173 --> 00:39:36,309
I'm just out here
hoopin' professionally.
963
00:39:36,410 --> 00:39:37,787
Why is Kat pretending
like she doesn't know me?
964
00:39:37,811 --> 00:39:39,491
Uh, my name's not Kat.
965
00:39:39,579 --> 00:39:40,990
Yeah, no, that's not Kat.
966
00:39:41,014 --> 00:39:44,084
That's... Hermione.
967
00:39:44,183 --> 00:39:46,586
I'm Ron. This is Harry.
968
00:39:47,186 --> 00:39:48,155
- Hagrid.
- This...
969
00:39:48,254 --> 00:39:49,656
Okay.
970
00:39:49,756 --> 00:39:51,058
Just one sec.
971
00:39:51,158 --> 00:39:52,993
Okay. Yeah.
972
00:39:53,093 --> 00:39:56,262
Hey, not Kat. Um, mmm.
973
00:39:56,363 --> 00:39:58,331
You know, sometimes
I just find myself
974
00:39:58,432 --> 00:40:00,576
thinkin' back to this time
when me and someone who looks
975
00:40:00,600 --> 00:40:03,070
so much like you rode
out to the Grand Canyon
976
00:40:03,170 --> 00:40:06,205
in my Ford F-150 pick-up
truck. And then...
977
00:40:06,306 --> 00:40:07,674
You used to bang this dude?
978
00:40:08,240 --> 00:40:09,576
Yeah.
979
00:40:09,676 --> 00:40:11,645
- No. I'm actually engaged now.
- Whoa. Okay.
980
00:40:11,745 --> 00:40:13,289
- So I have a...
- Okay. Yeah. No, that's cool.
981
00:40:13,313 --> 00:40:14,557
- I see that.
- ...fiance.
982
00:40:14,581 --> 00:40:16,817
Yep. That's okay.
Great. Thank you. Wow.
983
00:40:16,917 --> 00:40:20,053
I'm happy for you,
Huang. That's awesome.
984
00:40:20,153 --> 00:40:22,422
Oh, man. Hey.
985
00:40:22,522 --> 00:40:24,000
I'm happy you're puttin' that
986
00:40:24,024 --> 00:40:26,593
big ol' mouth of yours to
good use, huh?
987
00:40:26,693 --> 00:40:28,227
Good seeing you.
988
00:40:28,328 --> 00:40:30,006
- Oh, my God.
- You all have a good night.
989
00:40:30,030 --> 00:40:31,239
- Good seeing ya.
- Yeah, you too.
990
00:40:31,263 --> 00:40:33,232
- Yeah.
- Okay.
991
00:40:33,867 --> 00:40:35,435
Hoo-hoo-hoo.
992
00:40:35,535 --> 00:40:36,913
So we know what's
happening tonight.
993
00:40:36,937 --> 00:40:40,874
No, no. I'm not hooking
up with Todd, okay? Okay?
994
00:40:40,974 --> 00:40:42,809
I am not horny at all.
995
00:40:42,909 --> 00:40:47,481
The coke that literally just
exploded inside my butthole
996
00:40:47,581 --> 00:40:50,217
has no effect on me whatsoever.
997
00:40:50,317 --> 00:40:52,085
Um, I am gonna go now.
998
00:40:52,185 --> 00:40:55,222
Have fun DJing in between your legs
tonight.
999
00:40:56,656 --> 00:40:58,296
Oh, shit.
Baron just texted me.
1000
00:40:58,391 --> 00:40:59,526
Okay. Promise me
1001
00:40:59,626 --> 00:41:01,146
- you'll have some fun tonight.
- Okay.
1002
00:41:01,194 --> 00:41:03,196
All right, hit the
bar. Let loose, okay?
1003
00:41:03,295 --> 00:41:04,498
Okay. Great.
1004
00:41:04,598 --> 00:41:06,233
Linsanity!
1005
00:41:06,333 --> 00:41:08,034
Lin... Oh, Lin-Manuel Miranda?
1006
00:41:10,303 --> 00:41:11,838
So much to learn.
1007
00:41:11,938 --> 00:41:13,840
Finally, those two
fuckin' losers are gone.
1008
00:41:14,574 --> 00:41:16,643
Now it's just two cool cats.
1009
00:41:16,743 --> 00:41:18,779
Dynamic duo.
Thelma and Louise.
1010
00:41:18,879 --> 00:41:21,214
- We hangin' or what?
- I actually have a lot of...
1011
00:41:21,314 --> 00:41:22,516
I gotta do some work.
1012
00:41:22,616 --> 00:41:24,751
Yeah. Study buddies.
MVP of group projects.
1013
00:41:24,851 --> 00:41:26,386
I actually really
need some alone time.
1014
00:41:27,053 --> 00:41:28,522
Yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah.
1015
00:41:28,989 --> 00:41:30,289
Um...
1016
00:41:30,390 --> 00:41:32,692
No, but you should...
You should have some fun.
1017
00:41:32,793 --> 00:41:34,094
- Yeah.
- They seem really nice.
1018
00:41:34,194 --> 00:41:35,571
You should go... Oh,
my God. Wait, look.
1019
00:41:35,595 --> 00:41:37,931
He has a BTS shirt on.
You should go talk to him.
1020
00:41:38,031 --> 00:41:39,032
- Really?
- Yeah.
1021
00:41:39,132 --> 00:41:40,133
No.
1022
00:41:40,233 --> 00:41:42,068
I... Okay.
1023
00:41:42,169 --> 00:41:44,971
Okay. I'll see you tomorrow,
okay? Get some sleep.
1024
00:41:45,071 --> 00:41:46,072
Okay. See you.
1025
00:42:09,863 --> 00:42:12,999
Oh, I'm so sorry. I
don't speak Chinese.
1026
00:42:13,099 --> 00:42:15,035
- Hi.
- Hi.
1027
00:42:15,135 --> 00:42:16,636
I'm Kenny. Uh, this is Arvind.
1028
00:42:16,736 --> 00:42:18,672
I think he wanted
to buy you a drink.
1029
00:42:18,772 --> 00:42:20,774
- But he only speaks Chinese.
- Oh.
1030
00:42:20,874 --> 00:42:24,778
And Hindi, which I'm
assuming you don't speak.
1031
00:42:24,878 --> 00:42:27,547
Oh, no. I
don't. Sorry, I'm...
1032
00:42:27,647 --> 00:42:31,017
I'm just a garbage American
who only speaks English.
1033
00:42:31,117 --> 00:42:32,786
And a little Gollum.
1034
00:42:32,886 --> 00:42:36,256
"My precious!"
1035
00:42:36,389 --> 00:42:38,525
"They are filthy Hobbitses!"
1036
00:42:39,593 --> 00:42:41,862
- Do you guys have that here?
- Uh, yeah, we have.
1037
00:42:41,962 --> 00:42:44,030
It's all over the world.
1038
00:42:44,130 --> 00:42:45,832
- Right.
- Yeah. Um...
1039
00:43:01,381 --> 00:43:03,083
Shit.
1040
00:43:04,417 --> 00:43:05,652
Hey.
1041
00:43:06,753 --> 00:43:08,356
Hello.
1042
00:43:08,455 --> 00:43:10,056
It's hot in here, huh?
1043
00:43:10,156 --> 00:43:11,234
The AC broken or somethin'?
1044
00:43:11,258 --> 00:43:12,626
Oh, my God.
1045
00:43:12,726 --> 00:43:14,928
Whoa.
1046
00:43:17,797 --> 00:43:18,832
Lolo.
1047
00:43:20,000 --> 00:43:22,102
- Baron.
- What's up?
1048
00:43:22,202 --> 00:43:24,871
One
more round of Yobo, please.
1049
00:43:24,971 --> 00:43:28,575
And I know China is supposed
to be my homeland but...
1050
00:43:29,576 --> 00:43:31,111
I don't know. Ever
since I got here,
1051
00:43:31,211 --> 00:43:32,755
I just, I feel like I'm
doing everything wrong.
1052
00:43:32,779 --> 00:43:35,415
Firstly, there is no
way to do Chinese wrong.
1053
00:43:35,515 --> 00:43:37,083
- Right.
- But secondly,
1054
00:43:37,183 --> 00:43:39,103
what's the one thing you've
been saying the most?
1055
00:43:39,152 --> 00:43:41,389
- I don't know.
- "I."
1056
00:43:41,488 --> 00:43:44,157
You've been saying, "I
can't eat the food."
1057
00:43:44,257 --> 00:43:45,859
"I am doing everything wrong."
1058
00:43:45,959 --> 00:43:48,561
It's not about that.
The thing is, in China,
1059
00:43:48,662 --> 00:43:51,131
the collective is much
bigger than the individual,
1060
00:43:51,231 --> 00:43:53,199
all right? It's
like me and Arvind.
1061
00:43:53,300 --> 00:43:54,368
We're not from here.
1062
00:43:54,467 --> 00:43:56,404
But now we call this
our home. Right?
1063
00:43:56,503 --> 00:43:58,805
See? He teaches me some Hindi,
1064
00:43:58,905 --> 00:44:00,273
I taught him how
to fuck spiders.
1065
00:44:00,374 --> 00:44:01,409
What?
1066
00:44:01,508 --> 00:44:02,818
- It's an Australian thing.
- Huh?
1067
00:44:02,842 --> 00:44:04,577
But you just
gotta give it some time
1068
00:44:04,678 --> 00:44:06,212
and find your people.
1069
00:44:06,314 --> 00:44:08,882
That was really insightful.
1070
00:44:12,485 --> 00:44:13,653
Wait.
1071
00:44:13,753 --> 00:44:15,231
You and this Clarence
dude have been dating
1072
00:44:15,255 --> 00:44:16,489
for over three years
1073
00:44:16,589 --> 00:44:18,625
and never had sex?
1074
00:44:20,694 --> 00:44:22,638
Kat Huang I knew in college
couldn't last three days.
1075
00:44:22,662 --> 00:44:24,764
That is all in the past.
1076
00:44:25,565 --> 00:44:27,567
I am different now.
1077
00:44:27,667 --> 00:44:30,470
Katherine Huang has
got her shit together.
1078
00:44:30,570 --> 00:44:31,905
I get it.
1079
00:44:32,005 --> 00:44:34,641
I was bangin' so many random
girls after every game.
1080
00:44:34,741 --> 00:44:37,378
So many.
1081
00:44:37,477 --> 00:44:38,621
And I just thought to myself,
1082
00:44:38,645 --> 00:44:39,755
"Man, you gotta
cut this shit out."
1083
00:44:39,779 --> 00:44:41,681
Like...
1084
00:44:41,781 --> 00:44:43,049
I gotta get serious
1085
00:44:43,149 --> 00:44:44,593
if I'm ever gonna find
a real one, you know?
1086
00:44:44,617 --> 00:44:47,053
Kinda like what you
and Clarice have.
1087
00:44:47,153 --> 00:44:49,589
His name is actually,
uh, Clarence but...
1088
00:44:49,689 --> 00:44:51,524
Oh! Ow!
1089
00:44:51,624 --> 00:44:52,926
- Fuck!
- Are you okay?
1090
00:44:53,026 --> 00:44:54,637
Uh,
no, no, no, no, I'm fine.
1091
00:44:54,661 --> 00:44:56,830
I probably just, uh...
Uh, just pulled something.
1092
00:44:56,930 --> 00:44:58,474
Let's get you off. Come
on. Hop up. Hop up.
1093
00:44:59,632 --> 00:45:00,952
Breathe. Breathe.
Come on. Up, up.
1094
00:45:01,034 --> 00:45:02,669
Yeah. Okay. You're
doin' great.
1095
00:45:02,769 --> 00:45:05,205
Yeah, yeah,
yeah. Oh. Okay.
1096
00:45:05,306 --> 00:45:06,606
Okay.
1097
00:45:06,706 --> 00:45:08,318
I actually have something
that might help.
1098
00:45:08,342 --> 00:45:09,776
Okay.
1099
00:45:11,044 --> 00:45:12,178
Okay.
1100
00:45:12,278 --> 00:45:13,246
May I?
1101
00:45:14,114 --> 00:45:15,115
Uh...
1102
00:45:19,552 --> 00:45:21,121
Yeah.
1103
00:45:21,221 --> 00:45:22,789
This is what
I've been working on.
1104
00:45:22,889 --> 00:45:24,633
You're
such a great artist.
1105
00:45:24,657 --> 00:45:26,002
How do you come up
with this stuff?
1106
00:45:26,026 --> 00:45:28,396
I just want people to
be more body positive.
1107
00:45:28,496 --> 00:45:30,296
You know, sex isn't shameful.
1108
00:45:30,398 --> 00:45:32,632
It's beautiful.
Like, the noises?
1109
00:45:32,732 --> 00:45:34,134
- Yeah.
- Come on.
1110
00:45:46,146 --> 00:45:48,482
- I'm into that shit too.
- Look, at first,
1111
00:45:48,581 --> 00:45:51,684
I know my art seems like
it's for shock value.
1112
00:45:51,785 --> 00:45:53,086
- But...
- Mmm-hmm.
1113
00:45:53,186 --> 00:45:55,106
I'm just tryin' to get
the conversation going.
1114
00:45:59,659 --> 00:46:01,161
He says he really likes you.
1115
00:46:01,261 --> 00:46:02,729
Well, I like him too.
1116
00:46:03,263 --> 00:46:04,465
I like both of you.
1117
00:46:04,564 --> 00:46:06,084
God, I wish there
were more of you guys
1118
00:46:06,166 --> 00:46:07,233
when I was growing up.
1119
00:46:07,334 --> 00:46:09,936
Maybe I would've had an
Asian boyfriend by now.
1120
00:46:10,036 --> 00:46:11,571
Or two.
1121
00:46:21,151 --> 00:46:22,785
God, that's so hot.
1122
00:46:22,994 --> 00:46:25,630
He said he wants
to make you scream.
1123
00:46:27,367 --> 00:46:28,987
Will you tell him I love that
1124
00:46:29,012 --> 00:46:32,603
but maybe it'd be better
if his friend joined in.
1125
00:46:36,214 --> 00:46:38,441
Tongue. Lips.
1126
00:46:38,466 --> 00:46:40,033
Tongue. Faster.
1127
00:46:40,109 --> 00:46:42,069
Breathe with me.
1128
00:46:44,450 --> 00:46:45,647
You feelin' that?
1129
00:46:45,672 --> 00:46:47,308
Ah!
1130
00:46:47,787 --> 00:46:49,042
Let it in.
1131
00:46:57,799 --> 00:46:59,167
Do you like hair pulling?
1132
00:46:59,298 --> 00:47:00,380
I love it.
1133
00:47:00,405 --> 00:47:01,964
Yeah, you like that?
1134
00:47:01,988 --> 00:47:03,108
No!
1135
00:47:03,156 --> 00:47:05,526
- Now give me the basketball.
- What?
1136
00:47:05,551 --> 00:47:07,086
Just give it to me!
1137
00:47:23,318 --> 00:47:24,594
Audrey, I just heard you haven't
1138
00:47:24,619 --> 00:47:25,920
closed the ChinaWave deal.
1139
00:47:25,945 --> 00:47:27,555
Shit. Shit, shit, shit,
shit, shit, shit, shit.
1140
00:47:27,580 --> 00:47:29,782
- Hi, Frank.
- Who the fuck is Frank?
1141
00:47:29,851 --> 00:47:31,786
Yeah, no, it's as good as done.
1142
00:47:31,811 --> 00:47:33,497
Um, I just need until
Friday to make it official.
1143
00:47:33,521 --> 00:47:35,889
Okay, we're not payin' you
to be on vacation out there.
1144
00:47:35,914 --> 00:47:38,850
Don't worry. I'm very...
Very close.
1145
00:47:38,904 --> 00:47:40,935
Hell yeah, you are.
You're about to finish,
1146
00:47:40,960 --> 00:47:43,138
so just keep grinding.
Bend over backwards
1147
00:47:43,163 --> 00:47:44,898
- if you have to.
- Yeah, okay. Okay.
1148
00:47:57,311 --> 00:48:00,079
- Whoa.
- I want you to feel this too.
1149
00:48:03,283 --> 00:48:04,485
Ah!
1150
00:48:13,059 --> 00:48:15,128
- Sugar, anyone?
- I'll have some.
1151
00:48:16,262 --> 00:48:17,697
One lump or two lumps?
1152
00:48:17,797 --> 00:48:19,966
Two.
1153
00:48:20,066 --> 00:48:22,001
Oop.
1154
00:48:22,101 --> 00:48:23,537
So, how was everyone's night?
1155
00:48:23,637 --> 00:48:25,037
- Restful. I feel rested.
- Mmm-hmm.
1156
00:48:25,104 --> 00:48:26,507
The beds are comfortable here.
1157
00:48:26,607 --> 00:48:28,875
Lolo! What
the fuck happened?
1158
00:48:30,977 --> 00:48:33,746
Jiaying, torn hamstring.
1159
00:48:34,415 --> 00:48:37,817
Arvind, Ken, concussions.
1160
00:48:38,751 --> 00:48:41,854
Todd, shattered fucking pelvis!
1161
00:48:41,955 --> 00:48:45,124
Hello, kitty Kat.
1162
00:48:45,225 --> 00:48:47,894
You and your girls
destroyed our team.
1163
00:48:47,994 --> 00:48:50,531
Now I have to go play
the game by myself.
1164
00:48:50,631 --> 00:48:52,232
Get y'all ass on the bus.
1165
00:48:55,636 --> 00:48:56,936
Sorry.
1166
00:48:59,939 --> 00:49:02,809
Wait, you were supposed
to be our ride, remember?
1167
00:49:02,909 --> 00:49:04,545
- Oh, shit.
- What are we gonna do?
1168
00:49:04,645 --> 00:49:06,846
You know what? We've
gotten this far.
1169
00:49:07,514 --> 00:49:08,482
We'll figure it out.
1170
00:49:09,782 --> 00:49:11,619
♪ How long can I leave
1171
00:49:11,719 --> 00:49:15,522
♪ The lights in
the ceiling on?
1172
00:49:18,057 --> 00:49:20,893
♪ And the static from the TV
1173
00:49:20,994 --> 00:49:23,863
♪ Keeps me company
'til I'm gone
1174
00:49:31,938 --> 00:49:33,707
You think she's
gonna fuck him too?
1175
00:49:33,806 --> 00:49:35,041
Oh, yeah.
1176
00:49:35,141 --> 00:49:36,410
♪ 'Cause I rock back and forth
1177
00:49:36,510 --> 00:49:39,846
♪ Reciting words
that I've said wrong
1178
00:49:43,149 --> 00:49:45,753
It is so beautiful here.
1179
00:49:45,852 --> 00:49:47,588
I love China.
1180
00:49:47,688 --> 00:49:48,855
Do you hear me?
1181
00:49:48,955 --> 00:49:50,324
Wo ai China.
1182
00:49:50,424 --> 00:49:52,626
Should we tell her that
there's a bug on her jacket?
1183
00:49:52,726 --> 00:49:55,061
Mmm-mmm.
1184
00:49:55,161 --> 00:49:57,230
♪ What are you running from?
1185
00:49:57,331 --> 00:49:59,999
♪ Oh, maybe there's something
in the midnight hours
1186
00:50:00,099 --> 00:50:01,901
♪ The midnight
hours, you know?
1187
00:50:02,001 --> 00:50:05,138
♪ Or maybe there's something
in the dead of night
1188
00:50:05,238 --> 00:50:06,906
How old is our driver?
1189
00:50:07,006 --> 00:50:10,209
Twelve, counting the
Chinese way. So 11.
1190
00:50:10,311 --> 00:50:13,046
I don't
understand, but I love it!
1191
00:50:13,146 --> 00:50:14,748
♪ One night, one night
1192
00:50:14,847 --> 00:50:16,949
♪ Where it's just me alone ♪
1193
00:50:17,050 --> 00:50:18,585
So you're
sure it's okay for us
1194
00:50:18,686 --> 00:50:20,019
to stay at your grandma's house?
1195
00:50:20,119 --> 00:50:22,723
Of course. But just
know that they're a lot.
1196
00:51:06,165 --> 00:51:07,468
Very good.
1197
00:51:07,568 --> 00:51:08,968
Okay. Wait.
1198
00:51:09,068 --> 00:51:10,112
- What, what's he saying?
- They think
1199
00:51:10,136 --> 00:51:11,605
you're very beautiful.
1200
00:51:11,705 --> 00:51:13,239
And any mother, uh,
1201
00:51:13,340 --> 00:51:15,041
would be lucky to have
you as a daughter.
1202
00:51:17,009 --> 00:51:18,379
Thank... Thank you.
1203
00:51:18,479 --> 00:51:19,680
Uh, Xie... Xiexie.
1204
00:51:19,780 --> 00:51:23,116
Oh, have some
chocolate. This a favorite.
1205
00:51:23,216 --> 00:51:25,719
This is the chocolate of
"Chinese" Chinese people.
1206
00:51:25,819 --> 00:51:27,120
Shit. This means
she likes you.
1207
00:51:27,220 --> 00:51:28,822
If you see Russell
Stover, you're fucked.
1208
00:51:28,921 --> 00:51:31,124
Okay.
1209
00:51:31,224 --> 00:51:34,994
In this house, you are family.
1210
00:51:35,094 --> 00:51:37,631
Ganbei!
1211
00:51:50,344 --> 00:51:51,645
Whoa. Okay.
1212
00:51:58,184 --> 00:51:59,464
So, is this a Chinese card game?
1213
00:51:59,553 --> 00:52:01,321
No, I just made it up
to win their money.
1214
00:52:01,422 --> 00:52:03,022
I tell them it's
an American game.
1215
00:52:05,559 --> 00:52:06,560
Ah?
1216
00:52:08,629 --> 00:52:10,364
Hey, Deadeye.
1217
00:52:10,464 --> 00:52:11,998
Why you so grumpy?
1218
00:52:12,098 --> 00:52:14,334
You should smile more.
1219
00:52:14,967 --> 00:52:17,136
- Like Audrey.
- Oh.
1220
00:52:24,378 --> 00:52:26,680
It's nice that you
have such a big family.
1221
00:52:26,780 --> 00:52:28,449
I'm not really like my family.
1222
00:52:28,549 --> 00:52:30,617
Well, you and me, both.
1223
00:52:30,717 --> 00:52:32,218
Really?
1224
00:52:32,319 --> 00:52:34,822
I feel like you and your
parents are kinda the same.
1225
00:52:34,922 --> 00:52:36,466
I mean, you're basically
white. No offense.
1226
00:52:36,490 --> 00:52:40,527
I'm Chinese, I'm not
white.
1227
00:52:40,627 --> 00:52:43,897
I'm sorry. I say so
many stupid things.
1228
00:52:43,996 --> 00:52:45,076
That's why my family thinks
1229
00:52:45,164 --> 00:52:47,033
I'm socially awkward
and too weird.
1230
00:52:47,133 --> 00:52:48,368
You think I am too.
1231
00:52:50,337 --> 00:52:52,138
- No, I don't.
- I heard you in the airport.
1232
00:52:52,238 --> 00:52:53,518
No, I, I didn't mean that. It...
1233
00:52:53,607 --> 00:52:54,608
It... It's okay.
1234
00:52:55,943 --> 00:52:57,243
I'm used to it.
1235
00:53:03,015 --> 00:53:04,427
You know
why I like K-pop?
1236
00:53:04,451 --> 00:53:05,519
No. Why?
1237
00:53:06,753 --> 00:53:08,120
Because it likes me back.
1238
00:53:08,221 --> 00:53:10,256
Yeah, it's not
just awesome songs,
1239
00:53:10,357 --> 00:53:13,694
it's about what we created
because we love the music.
1240
00:53:13,794 --> 00:53:15,027
It's about us.
1241
00:53:15,127 --> 00:53:16,406
I've never
thought about it that way.
1242
00:53:16,430 --> 00:53:19,232
- The... The community.
- But it's not real.
1243
00:53:19,333 --> 00:53:20,868
I haven't met any of them.
1244
00:53:20,968 --> 00:53:24,203
I just talk to them online. I
don't have any real friends.
1245
00:53:24,304 --> 00:53:26,940
- Well, we're friends.
- Really?
1246
00:53:27,039 --> 00:53:29,309
'Cause we're gonna be
home in a couple of days.
1247
00:53:29,409 --> 00:53:31,277
Do you actually think
we're gonna hang out?
1248
00:53:31,378 --> 00:53:33,614
- Yeah, we could. Of course.
- I don't know.
1249
00:53:33,714 --> 00:53:36,015
Everyone likes you. You're cool.
1250
00:53:36,115 --> 00:53:38,084
Your hair smells like a cookie.
1251
00:53:39,453 --> 00:53:41,020
Your life is perfect.
1252
00:53:41,855 --> 00:53:43,055
Well, it's not.
1253
00:53:44,525 --> 00:53:46,660
But sometimes even I
feel like...
1254
00:53:47,728 --> 00:53:50,631
You... You know, I don't
really belong either.
1255
00:53:51,358 --> 00:53:52,459
You know?
1256
00:53:59,171 --> 00:54:02,241
So, so what kind of
music do you like to listen to?
1257
00:54:02,266 --> 00:54:04,167
I mean, I love Mumford & Sons.
1258
00:54:04,726 --> 00:54:06,894
Uh, The National.
1259
00:54:07,182 --> 00:54:09,084
- Maroon Five. The best.
- Yes.
1260
00:54:09,109 --> 00:54:11,144
- T Swift is my...
- Uh-huh.
1261
00:54:12,841 --> 00:54:14,052
I've really been liking Cardi B.
1262
00:54:14,077 --> 00:54:16,113
- I love Cardi B.
- Oh, cool.
1263
00:54:16,423 --> 00:54:19,826
Yeah. You know, K-pop
owes so much to hip-hop.
1264
00:54:22,411 --> 00:54:23,781
Suck it, Bao Bao!
1265
00:54:23,806 --> 00:54:26,107
Bao Bao!
1266
00:54:34,441 --> 00:54:36,610
- You in that thing yet?
- Almost.
1267
00:54:36,710 --> 00:54:38,512
It's nice of Nai Nai
to let me borrow this.
1268
00:54:38,612 --> 00:54:40,514
Yeah. You're lucky
she likes you.
1269
00:54:40,614 --> 00:54:43,417
- She doesn't like anyone.
- Well, I like her, too.
1270
00:54:43,517 --> 00:54:45,151
I like your whole family, Lo.
1271
00:54:45,251 --> 00:54:47,286
It's funny, all night
I kept thinking about
1272
00:54:47,387 --> 00:54:49,323
what it'd be like if
I'd grown up here.
1273
00:54:49,383 --> 00:54:50,951
- Mmm.
- I'd be like everyone else,
1274
00:54:50,976 --> 00:54:52,170
you know?
1275
00:54:52,195 --> 00:54:54,841
People wouldn't stare at
me at the grocery store.
1276
00:54:54,866 --> 00:54:57,411
Or ask my parents
where they got me from.
1277
00:54:59,285 --> 00:55:03,389
I wouldn't always just
be the Asian girl.
1278
00:55:03,544 --> 00:55:07,080
You know, I could, I
could be the smart girl.
1279
00:55:07,105 --> 00:55:10,442
Or... or the nice, funny girl.
1280
00:55:10,744 --> 00:55:13,380
I wonder if I'd still feel
like I had to be perfect
1281
00:55:13,405 --> 00:55:15,407
all the time just to belong.
1282
00:55:15,432 --> 00:55:17,935
I don't know. Maybe my whole
life would be different.
1283
00:55:18,019 --> 00:55:19,721
I don't think it'd be
that much different.
1284
00:55:23,241 --> 00:55:24,609
Wow, bitch.
1285
00:55:24,741 --> 00:55:26,476
It's nice, right?
1286
00:55:26,501 --> 00:55:28,403
China looks good on you.
1287
00:55:28,430 --> 00:55:30,285
I kind of love it.
1288
00:55:31,066 --> 00:55:33,035
- Hey, thanks.
- For what?
1289
00:55:33,060 --> 00:55:35,836
I'm so grateful that you
pushed me to do this.
1290
00:55:37,450 --> 00:55:39,652
I don't think I could
have done it without you.
1291
00:55:39,712 --> 00:55:41,313
I got you.
1292
00:55:42,726 --> 00:55:45,697
Ooh. Wow!
1293
00:55:45,992 --> 00:55:50,297
You look gorgeous.
1294
00:55:50,491 --> 00:55:53,026
You know, I wore
that dress the night
1295
00:55:53,051 --> 00:55:57,623
I was deflowered by
the love of my life.
1296
00:55:57,783 --> 00:55:59,752
- Aw. Grandpa?
- No.
1297
00:55:59,798 --> 00:56:01,032
Oh.
1298
00:56:10,551 --> 00:56:11,626
That's it.
1299
00:56:14,718 --> 00:56:16,051
You ready?
1300
00:56:17,629 --> 00:56:18,941
Okay.
1301
00:56:19,639 --> 00:56:20,640
Hey!
1302
00:56:31,289 --> 00:56:33,291
Oh. Hi. My, my name is Audrey.
1303
00:56:33,316 --> 00:56:35,185
I'm... I'm looking
for my mother.
1304
00:56:36,152 --> 00:56:38,019
You
brought the picture?
1305
00:56:38,044 --> 00:56:39,780
Yeah, I just...
1306
00:56:39,805 --> 00:56:41,807
thought it would be
nice to have in China.
1307
00:56:59,968 --> 00:57:01,008
She knew you.
1308
00:57:04,258 --> 00:57:05,526
Does she know my mother?
1309
00:57:21,766 --> 00:57:23,168
What is she saying?
1310
00:57:23,193 --> 00:57:24,304
Okay, what's, what's going on?
1311
00:57:24,329 --> 00:57:26,064
Does she know where my mom is?
1312
00:57:31,283 --> 00:57:33,820
You, Korea girl.
1313
00:57:34,988 --> 00:57:36,255
Uh...
1314
00:57:37,851 --> 00:57:39,887
Your mom's name is Min Park.
1315
00:57:39,912 --> 00:57:41,447
That... That's a mistake.
1316
00:57:41,472 --> 00:57:43,174
I'm... I'm Chinese.
1317
00:57:43,199 --> 00:57:45,953
I... I went to Chinese
school for a year.
1318
00:57:45,978 --> 00:57:48,380
I... I... We... We celebrated
Chinese New Year's. I...
1319
00:57:48,405 --> 00:57:51,051
But Korea's great. I mean,
there's... There's mukbang,
1320
00:57:51,076 --> 00:57:53,053
soju, Hyundai, Gangnam Style,
1321
00:57:53,078 --> 00:57:55,732
half of Hines Ward,
half of Charles Melton,
1322
00:57:55,757 --> 00:57:57,285
all of Randall Park.
1323
00:58:10,057 --> 00:58:11,925
I
want my dress back.
1324
00:58:17,889 --> 00:58:19,523
Stop
being so racist!
1325
00:58:27,549 --> 00:58:28,984
My whole life has been wrong.
1326
00:58:30,069 --> 00:58:31,207
It hasn't.
1327
00:58:31,232 --> 00:58:34,103
We're only friends because
my parents were, like,
1328
00:58:34,128 --> 00:58:35,997
"Ooh, another little
Chinese girl."
1329
00:58:36,058 --> 00:58:37,541
In everyone's defense,
1330
00:58:37,566 --> 00:58:39,394
we were the only
Asian people in town.
1331
00:58:39,419 --> 00:58:40,787
So we still would've
been friends.
1332
00:58:40,887 --> 00:58:42,419
White people don't
know the difference.
1333
00:58:42,444 --> 00:58:44,089
- My parents are white.
- So what if you're Korean?
1334
00:58:44,180 --> 00:58:45,589
We all end up in the same place.
1335
00:58:45,614 --> 00:58:46,857
Walking around
town with our hands
1336
00:58:46,882 --> 00:58:48,217
behind our back, like this.
1337
00:58:53,337 --> 00:58:55,474
That's enough.
That's enough.
1338
00:58:55,499 --> 00:58:57,767
Fuck this.
1339
00:58:58,127 --> 00:58:59,294
I mean...
1340
00:58:59,319 --> 00:59:02,318
This whole birth mom
journey is bullshit.
1341
00:59:06,235 --> 00:59:07,436
You know what?
1342
00:59:08,390 --> 00:59:09,925
I only
wanted to find her
1343
00:59:10,017 --> 00:59:11,560
to close this fucking
business deal.
1344
00:59:11,585 --> 00:59:12,662
I don't actually give a shit
1345
00:59:12,687 --> 00:59:16,498
if I'm a Korean lawyer
or a Chinese lawyer
1346
00:59:16,523 --> 00:59:19,248
or a fucking German lawyer,
because I'm a lawyer.
1347
00:59:19,273 --> 00:59:20,708
And I'm goin' to
finish this job.
1348
00:59:20,733 --> 00:59:22,001
This is all a lot, you know?
1349
00:59:22,026 --> 00:59:23,464
You don't have to think
about work right now.
1350
00:59:23,489 --> 00:59:24,630
This says she's in Seoul, right?
1351
00:59:24,655 --> 00:59:26,517
- That's what you said earlier?
- Uh, yeah.
1352
00:59:26,542 --> 00:59:29,466
Okay. So, if we go
to Seoul right now,
1353
00:59:29,491 --> 00:59:31,627
I could still find her
and bring her back in time
1354
00:59:31,652 --> 00:59:33,591
- to go to Chao's dinner.
- But there are probably, like,
1355
00:59:33,616 --> 00:59:35,451
ten thousand Min Parks in Korea.
1356
00:59:35,476 --> 00:59:37,209
Yes, but we have all
of her info right here.
1357
00:59:37,234 --> 00:59:38,734
We can hire a
private investigator
1358
00:59:38,759 --> 00:59:40,287
- to track her down.
- I'm so in.
1359
00:59:40,312 --> 00:59:42,848
Thank you. Thank you, Deadeye.
You're an amazing friend.
1360
00:59:42,941 --> 00:59:44,075
Lolo, are you in?
1361
00:59:44,246 --> 00:59:45,590
I mean, this is what
you wanted, right?
1362
00:59:45,615 --> 00:59:47,027
- I'm in. I'm in, yeah.
- Yes. Thank you.
1363
00:59:47,052 --> 00:59:48,285
Thank you. Let's go.
1364
00:59:48,310 --> 00:59:49,956
Passports. Passports.
Where are our passports?
1365
00:59:49,981 --> 00:59:52,015
Oh, they are in my
suitcase that got stolen.
1366
00:59:52,040 --> 00:59:53,560
We don't need fuckin'
passports. Let's go.
1367
00:59:53,585 --> 00:59:55,216
Let's think. No bad
ideas. Let's go.
1368
00:59:55,241 --> 00:59:56,826
We could flash our
titties and just
1369
00:59:56,851 --> 00:59:58,429
- hitchhike the whole way.
- That's a bad idea.
1370
00:59:58,454 --> 00:59:59,802
We could take a rocket to space
1371
00:59:59,827 --> 01:00:02,111
and then try to land in Korea.
No customs in the atmosphere.
1372
01:00:02,136 --> 01:00:03,270
I feel like that's worse.
1373
01:00:03,295 --> 01:00:05,068
Okay, uh, we become
mail-order brides,
1374
01:00:05,093 --> 01:00:06,763
uh, and then we... We
find a really big envelope
1375
01:00:06,788 --> 01:00:08,132
and then we could
just...
1376
01:00:08,157 --> 01:00:09,559
I fuckin' love that
spirit, Deadeye.
1377
01:00:09,584 --> 01:00:10,928
- Just keep thinking.
- We take coke again
1378
01:00:10,953 --> 01:00:13,522
- and we just sprint.
- No more coke!
1379
01:00:13,547 --> 01:00:15,126
Let's go. Let's go.
Come on. Come on, guys.
1380
01:00:15,151 --> 01:00:16,418
- We could swim there.
- Okay.
1381
01:00:16,443 --> 01:00:18,278
Yeah. How, how long can
you hold your breath?
1382
01:00:19,515 --> 01:00:20,893
That's it! That's it!
I can't do it anymore!
1383
01:00:20,918 --> 01:00:22,395
Not long enough. Okay,
look. Ready? Ready? Ready?
1384
01:00:22,420 --> 01:00:23,597
You know who can bypass
airport security?
1385
01:00:23,622 --> 01:00:26,425
- The Obamas.
- Yes. And K-pop stars.
1386
01:00:26,499 --> 01:00:28,401
We are
not K-pop stars.
1387
01:00:28,426 --> 01:00:29,982
Not yet, we aren't.
1388
01:00:46,351 --> 01:00:48,753
So, are we sure
this is gonna work?
1389
01:00:48,869 --> 01:00:50,490
BTS Army always comes through.
1390
01:00:50,557 --> 01:00:52,720
@Jinderalla88 said we
should be good to go.
1391
01:00:52,745 --> 01:00:54,780
Just act confident.
We're Brownie Tuesday.
1392
01:00:54,805 --> 01:00:55,749
We're a brand-new group.
1393
01:00:55,778 --> 01:00:57,279
We just did our
debut in Shanghai.
1394
01:00:57,339 --> 01:01:00,143
Our first single has
nine million downloads.
1395
01:01:00,266 --> 01:01:01,444
Everyone remember their names?
1396
01:01:01,538 --> 01:01:02,505
- Sassy.
- Cutie.
1397
01:01:02,590 --> 01:01:04,340
- Lisa.
- Lisa "two".
1398
01:01:04,365 --> 01:01:06,466
- We got this.
- We got this.
1399
01:01:06,566 --> 01:01:07,801
Where are your passports?
1400
01:01:07,826 --> 01:01:10,528
- We're Brownie Tuesday.
- Yeah. We signed with
1401
01:01:10,578 --> 01:01:12,867
Hit Bang Entertainment
last week. That's our jet.
1402
01:01:12,892 --> 01:01:14,494
Where are
your travel documents?
1403
01:01:14,547 --> 01:01:16,751
Do you even know the
name of your booking?
1404
01:01:16,776 --> 01:01:18,919
Yeah. Uh, @Jinderalla88.
1405
01:01:18,944 --> 01:01:19,911
Please leave.
1406
01:01:19,936 --> 01:01:22,038
I thought you said your
friend set this up.
1407
01:01:27,028 --> 01:01:28,228
I knew it.
1408
01:01:30,281 --> 01:01:31,974
They're just online friends.
They're not real friends.
1409
01:01:31,999 --> 01:01:33,033
No, no. It's okay.
1410
01:01:33,058 --> 01:01:33,954
We'll figure something else out.
1411
01:01:33,979 --> 01:01:36,037
No, no. This always
happens to me.
1412
01:01:36,062 --> 01:01:38,157
I make friends, but
they never come through.
1413
01:01:39,699 --> 01:01:41,901
No one wants to be my friend.
1414
01:01:44,922 --> 01:01:46,411
This is all so
1415
01:01:46,436 --> 01:01:48,076
fucking stupid.
1416
01:01:51,789 --> 01:01:53,105
Deadeye, look.
1417
01:01:54,930 --> 01:01:56,249
Deadeye?
1418
01:01:56,823 --> 01:01:58,505
@Jinderalla88?
1419
01:01:58,530 --> 01:02:01,767
Yes, honey. The one and only.
1420
01:02:01,976 --> 01:02:04,045
Okay, slay.
1421
01:02:04,070 --> 01:02:06,105
You'd make V very proud.
1422
01:02:06,130 --> 01:02:08,031
I'm pretending to
be your manager.
1423
01:02:08,056 --> 01:02:09,757
We even brought you fans!
1424
01:02:16,740 --> 01:02:20,578
Give it up for Brownie Tuesday!
1425
01:02:27,345 --> 01:02:28,346
Hi.
1426
01:02:28,915 --> 01:02:31,477
Can they get on their jet now?
1427
01:02:31,502 --> 01:02:33,272
I don't believe these
girls are singers.
1428
01:02:33,404 --> 01:02:34,748
I can assure
you that these are
1429
01:02:34,773 --> 01:02:36,533
professional idols. And
they've been training
1430
01:02:36,558 --> 01:02:38,894
since they were 14
and 15 years old.
1431
01:02:38,919 --> 01:02:40,902
Girls, show them.
1432
01:02:40,927 --> 01:02:42,396
Um, what, what?
1433
01:02:42,421 --> 01:02:43,464
- Show them what?
- Uh, just show 'em.
1434
01:02:43,489 --> 01:02:44,533
Well, just show them.
1435
01:02:44,558 --> 01:02:45,959
Hello? What are
supposed to show?
1436
01:02:47,061 --> 01:02:48,383
You're a
fan of Cardi B, right?
1437
01:02:48,408 --> 01:02:50,024
Yeah, but is she here?
1438
01:02:53,223 --> 01:02:54,983
Just pretend that you're
back in the Tootles.
1439
01:02:56,142 --> 01:02:57,243
Trust me.
1440
01:03:00,998 --> 01:03:03,834
This is gonna be
hot. Livestream this.
1441
01:03:11,008 --> 01:03:12,710
♪ There's some
whores in this house
1442
01:03:12,779 --> 01:03:14,414
♪ There's some
whores in this house
1443
01:03:14,475 --> 01:03:16,111
♪ There's some
whores in this house
1444
01:03:16,136 --> 01:03:17,771
♪ There's some
whores in this house
1445
01:03:17,796 --> 01:03:19,431
♪ You'll go whore
Cha, cha, cha
1446
01:03:19,473 --> 01:03:21,176
♪ You'll go whore
Cha, cha, cha
1447
01:03:21,301 --> 01:03:23,009
♪ You'll go whore
Cha, cha, cha
1448
01:03:23,034 --> 01:03:24,736
♪ You'll go whore
Cha, cha, cha
1449
01:03:24,761 --> 01:03:28,410
♪ There's some
whores in this cha
1450
01:03:28,435 --> 01:03:30,337
♪ I'm a certified freak
1451
01:03:30,468 --> 01:03:32,068
♪ Seven days a week
1452
01:03:32,137 --> 01:03:35,107
♪ Wet ass pussy
Hear this AZN speak
1453
01:03:36,131 --> 01:03:37,766
♪ Yeah, you fuckin' with some
1454
01:03:37,798 --> 01:03:39,285
-♪ Wet ass pussy
-♪ Wet ass pussy
1455
01:03:39,310 --> 01:03:41,612
♪ Gimme everything you
got for this wet ass pussy
1456
01:03:41,637 --> 01:03:42,922
♪ Wet ass pussy
1457
01:03:42,947 --> 01:03:44,582
♪ Beat it up, Lolo,
catch a charge
1458
01:03:44,607 --> 01:03:46,186
♪ Kumon smart and Kumon hard
1459
01:03:46,242 --> 01:03:47,943
♪ Put this pussy on
a girl named Grace
1460
01:03:47,968 --> 01:03:49,803
♪ Who got them A's
on a report card
1461
01:03:49,932 --> 01:03:51,801
♪ Hop on top, I wanna ride
1462
01:03:51,869 --> 01:03:53,584
♪ In a rice rocket
that's a Hyundai
1463
01:03:53,609 --> 01:03:55,120
♪ Cut up that duck,
don't cut up the eyes
1464
01:03:55,145 --> 01:03:56,814
♪ This pussy is wet,
we know how to dive
1465
01:03:56,905 --> 01:03:58,140
-♪ Olympics -♪ Thai me up
1466
01:03:58,165 --> 01:03:59,814
-♪ Like I'm tea iced
-♪ Let's go play
1467
01:03:59,839 --> 01:04:01,074
♪ Just not on the slide
1468
01:04:01,099 --> 01:04:02,834
♪ I want you to park
that plastic couch
1469
01:04:02,954 --> 01:04:04,557
♪ Right in this dusty garage
1470
01:04:06,311 --> 01:04:07,845
-♪ Out in public -♪
Don't make a scene
1471
01:04:07,874 --> 01:04:09,676
♪ I don't cook I don't clean
1472
01:04:09,701 --> 01:04:11,213
♪ I will fuck you up
if you call me Ching
1473
01:04:11,238 --> 01:04:13,207
♪ There's some whores in this house
1474
01:04:13,320 --> 01:04:14,820
♪ House, house, house
1475
01:04:14,865 --> 01:04:16,933
♪ Take off your
shoes in the house
1476
01:04:17,121 --> 01:04:18,522
♪ For this wet ass pussy
1477
01:04:18,590 --> 01:04:20,492
♪ Now drink a soju and a Hite
1478
01:04:20,663 --> 01:04:21,998
♪ For this wet ass pussy
1479
01:04:22,074 --> 01:04:24,243
♪ Ask my permission
just to kiss me
1480
01:04:24,268 --> 01:04:26,004
♪ On this wet ass pussy
1481
01:04:26,029 --> 01:04:30,168
♪ It's an honor to be Asian
with this wet ass pussy ♪
1482
01:04:34,226 --> 01:04:35,493
Ow.
1483
01:04:37,529 --> 01:04:39,712
What
the fuck is that?
1484
01:04:40,939 --> 01:04:42,524
Oh, my God.
1485
01:04:42,549 --> 01:04:44,617
Nothing. I'm...
1486
01:04:45,520 --> 01:04:46,921
Your pussy's the devil?
1487
01:04:46,946 --> 01:04:48,348
That is way bigger
than I expected.
1488
01:04:48,373 --> 01:04:49,795
No wonder you won't
have sex with Clarence.
1489
01:04:49,820 --> 01:04:51,068
- That thing is massive.
- It's huge.
1490
01:04:51,093 --> 01:04:52,570
The artist did really
impressive work, Kat.
1491
01:04:52,595 --> 01:04:54,197
You don't understand.
I've tried lasers,
1492
01:04:54,222 --> 01:04:55,490
I've tried skin grafts and,
1493
01:04:55,515 --> 01:04:58,086
and nothing...
Nothing will take.
1494
01:04:58,111 --> 01:05:00,643
My vagina is the devil.
1495
01:05:00,668 --> 01:05:02,997
And she is here to stay.
1496
01:05:03,022 --> 01:05:04,552
Kat, it's gonna be
okay. It'll be okay.
1497
01:05:04,577 --> 01:05:07,580
It will not be okay.
It's on the inside too.
1498
01:05:14,610 --> 01:05:15,811
Oh, Clar.
1499
01:05:16,771 --> 01:05:18,807
Clarence.
1500
01:05:19,254 --> 01:05:20,355
I came for you.
1501
01:05:20,454 --> 01:05:22,701
- Wait, no, I can explain.
- No, I...
1502
01:05:25,346 --> 01:05:26,896
Who are you?
1503
01:05:30,715 --> 01:05:32,184
Clarence, no.
1504
01:05:32,209 --> 01:05:33,766
Clarence, no!
1505
01:05:35,166 --> 01:05:36,734
Fuck! What am I gonna do?
1506
01:05:36,865 --> 01:05:38,818
You have caused a
public disturbance!
1507
01:05:39,005 --> 01:05:40,807
And committed an
indecent exposure!
1508
01:05:40,832 --> 01:05:42,583
- We know.
- You must leave. Now!
1509
01:05:48,878 --> 01:05:49,745
Okay.
1510
01:05:50,009 --> 01:05:52,145
Okay. Not to worry.
Not to worry.
1511
01:05:52,170 --> 01:05:53,349
Plan B. Plan B.
1512
01:05:53,374 --> 01:05:54,708
Do you guys have another jet?
1513
01:05:56,490 --> 01:05:58,792
♪ Ayo, lil' bitch Get
the fuck outta here
1514
01:06:02,861 --> 01:06:05,530
♪ We just wanna
have a good time
1515
01:06:07,778 --> 01:06:09,700
Those chickens have to stop.
1516
01:06:10,555 --> 01:06:12,657
♪ That is not your
open invitation ♪
1517
01:06:16,683 --> 01:06:19,497
Deadeye, did you just
kill the chicken?
1518
01:06:20,474 --> 01:06:22,021
No.
1519
01:06:47,688 --> 01:06:50,358
Okay, the agency's
right down that way.
1520
01:06:50,388 --> 01:06:51,787
Coffee
in cute bear cups?
1521
01:06:51,811 --> 01:06:53,012
My treat?
1522
01:06:54,078 --> 01:06:56,448
Oh, finally. There's
good Wi-Fi here.
1523
01:06:56,473 --> 01:06:57,850
All my emails are coming in.
1524
01:06:57,875 --> 01:06:59,877
I can see if Clarence
texted me back.
1525
01:07:02,154 --> 01:07:05,224
Oh.
1526
01:07:06,602 --> 01:07:07,936
I did...
1527
01:07:07,961 --> 01:07:10,397
Oh, I didn't know I had fans
here. That's kinda nice.
1528
01:07:11,562 --> 01:07:13,291
Wait, they love you here.
1529
01:07:14,708 --> 01:07:18,346
So, um, I think
maybe some people
1530
01:07:18,371 --> 01:07:20,107
picked up my livestream.
1531
01:07:25,471 --> 01:07:26,671
- What?
- It... It's okay.
1532
01:07:26,696 --> 01:07:28,526
I'm sure it's not going
viral or anything.
1533
01:07:40,348 --> 01:07:42,897
Oh, my God. Oh, my
God. I am fucked!
1534
01:07:42,922 --> 01:07:45,217
There's already a meme
with Tweety Bird saying,
1535
01:07:45,242 --> 01:07:47,109
- "I thought I thaw..."
- Don't say it!
1536
01:07:47,173 --> 01:07:49,208
Weird. Chao's calling me.
1537
01:07:51,519 --> 01:07:53,011
Hi, Chao. So good
to hear from you.
1538
01:07:53,036 --> 01:07:55,505
My mother and I were actually
just talking about you.
1539
01:07:55,530 --> 01:07:57,632
- Do not bother coming.
- What?
1540
01:07:57,837 --> 01:08:00,040
I saw the video of
you and your friend's
1541
01:08:00,065 --> 01:08:01,433
- devil vagina.
- Let me explain.
1542
01:08:01,458 --> 01:08:02,833
It's actually, it...
It's so hilarious.
1543
01:08:02,858 --> 01:08:04,574
You're gonna love
this story. It's...
1544
01:08:04,599 --> 01:08:05,583
- Um...
- You lied to me.
1545
01:08:05,608 --> 01:08:07,146
You told me you're in
Beijing with your mother.
1546
01:08:07,171 --> 01:08:08,997
But that's clearly not true.
1547
01:08:09,022 --> 01:08:10,558
I cannot do business
with someone
1548
01:08:10,583 --> 01:08:12,047
who's not who they say they are.
1549
01:08:12,072 --> 01:08:13,352
Please. Just...
Just hear me out.
1550
01:08:13,377 --> 01:08:15,004
No, I've already
made up my mind.
1551
01:08:15,029 --> 01:08:16,764
I will tell your
boss that we are not
1552
01:08:16,789 --> 01:08:18,715
- going to sign.
- But, when you talk to Frank
1553
01:08:18,740 --> 01:08:19,980
can you please just not mention
1554
01:08:20,005 --> 01:08:21,306
- the whole video thing?
- I already saw it.
1555
01:08:21,331 --> 01:08:22,451
- Shit!
- I didn't know
1556
01:08:22,476 --> 01:08:23,732
you were this shady, Audrey.
1557
01:08:23,757 --> 01:08:25,701
I mean, that is the last
time that I take a chance
1558
01:08:25,767 --> 01:08:27,445
on someone like you.
1559
01:08:27,470 --> 01:08:29,904
Again, I mean
associate, not an Asian.
1560
01:08:29,981 --> 01:08:31,983
- Anyway, you're fired.
- What?
1561
01:08:32,100 --> 01:08:34,169
Frank. No... I...
I can fix this.
1562
01:08:34,194 --> 01:08:35,896
I'm still an ally though.
1563
01:08:35,921 --> 01:08:37,524
I fired a white guy
earlier this week.
1564
01:08:37,549 --> 01:08:38,750
Did the exact same thing.
1565
01:08:38,775 --> 01:08:40,255
Okay, Frank. Frank?
Frank, don't hang up.
1566
01:08:40,280 --> 01:08:43,082
I'm gonna get
fired from my show.
1567
01:08:43,107 --> 01:08:44,374
And my movie.
1568
01:08:44,399 --> 01:08:46,600
And I'm never gonna go to LA.
1569
01:08:46,819 --> 01:08:48,654
It's okay. It's not
the end of the world.
1570
01:08:48,679 --> 01:08:51,149
No, it literally is
the end of the world.
1571
01:08:53,407 --> 01:08:57,111
Clarence and I were gonna
rent a house in Malibu.
1572
01:08:57,305 --> 01:09:00,108
And we were gonna be
one of those couples
1573
01:09:00,133 --> 01:09:04,703
who meditate every single
day and tell people about it
1574
01:09:04,854 --> 01:09:08,691
because that is what
people do in Los Angeles.
1575
01:09:09,156 --> 01:09:10,893
It's okay.
1576
01:09:10,918 --> 01:09:13,685
And Audrey was gonna
hang out with us
1577
01:09:13,710 --> 01:09:16,446
all the time when
she moved there.
1578
01:09:20,143 --> 01:09:23,246
Audrey was gonna move out to LA?
1579
01:09:23,339 --> 01:09:26,442
Once she closed the
deal and got promoted.
1580
01:09:28,654 --> 01:09:30,888
Why didn't you tell me about LA?
1581
01:09:31,168 --> 01:09:33,971
- Lolo, I can't right now.
- What was your plan?
1582
01:09:33,996 --> 01:09:36,466
Were you just gonna move
out and never say anything?
1583
01:09:36,491 --> 01:09:37,593
It's not happening anymore.
1584
01:09:37,663 --> 01:09:38,829
I just got fired.
1585
01:09:38,854 --> 01:09:40,556
- What?
- Chao saw the video.
1586
01:09:40,802 --> 01:09:43,139
- Your video.
- Yeah, well, whatever.
1587
01:09:43,164 --> 01:09:44,698
Fuck them. You'll
get a new job.
1588
01:09:44,723 --> 01:09:46,595
- It's not that easy.
- For you, it will be.
1589
01:09:46,620 --> 01:09:48,789
Just go to the country club
where you play squash at.
1590
01:09:48,814 --> 01:09:50,474
I'm pretty sure one of those
white guys will give you a job
1591
01:09:50,499 --> 01:09:52,368
- in, like, two seconds.
- What the fuck?
1592
01:09:52,392 --> 01:09:54,552
I worked hard for that job.
1593
01:09:54,577 --> 01:09:57,180
You know what? This is
all your fucking fault.
1594
01:09:57,205 --> 01:09:59,404
Four bears
for four best friends.
1595
01:09:59,429 --> 01:10:01,261
Cappuccino is for Audrey
1596
01:10:01,286 --> 01:10:03,288
because she doesn't like
to try anything weird.
1597
01:10:04,846 --> 01:10:07,148
- She's the best.
- You're a fucking idiot.
1598
01:10:07,173 --> 01:10:08,974
Telling Chao that I
knew my birth mom.
1599
01:10:08,999 --> 01:10:11,403
Dragging us all over
the Chinese countryside.
1600
01:10:11,428 --> 01:10:12,482
I was doing this for you.
1601
01:10:12,507 --> 01:10:14,273
No. You were doing
it for yourself.
1602
01:10:14,298 --> 01:10:17,167
You still think we're kids
on some dumb grand adventure.
1603
01:10:17,192 --> 01:10:19,661
Well, grow the fuck up, Lolo.
The rest of us are adults.
1604
01:10:19,686 --> 01:10:22,723
You're still a fucking child.
Okay, my life is ruined.
1605
01:10:23,207 --> 01:10:25,597
Your life is ruined?
1606
01:10:25,622 --> 01:10:28,103
My life is ruined, okay?
1607
01:10:28,128 --> 01:10:31,451
You can always find another
fucking desk job, okay?
1608
01:10:31,476 --> 01:10:34,787
I can never find
another Clarence.
1609
01:10:34,812 --> 01:10:36,064
And whose fault is that?
1610
01:10:36,089 --> 01:10:37,419
Maybe you should've
been honest with him
1611
01:10:37,444 --> 01:10:39,677
from the beginning instead
of lying every single day
1612
01:10:39,702 --> 01:10:40,902
for the past three years.
1613
01:10:40,927 --> 01:10:42,763
Whoa, what the fuck?
That's her business.
1614
01:10:42,788 --> 01:10:45,056
And since when are you the
spokesperson for honesty?
1615
01:10:45,081 --> 01:10:48,050
Okay, so are... Are you
two best friends now?
1616
01:10:48,075 --> 01:10:49,373
What, like Lilo and Stitch?
1617
01:10:51,267 --> 01:10:53,136
You fuckin' suck at impressions.
1618
01:10:55,179 --> 01:10:56,544
Go fuck yourself!
1619
01:10:56,569 --> 01:10:58,302
I'll knock your
teeth out, bitch!
1620
01:11:01,127 --> 01:11:04,864
I am an actress.
1621
01:11:05,160 --> 01:11:10,798
And even I am less
self-involved than you are.
1622
01:11:13,306 --> 01:11:14,340
Huh.
1623
01:11:15,480 --> 01:11:18,048
- Kat.
- You know what? Kat's right.
1624
01:11:19,341 --> 01:11:20,939
You've been a shitty friend.
1625
01:11:20,964 --> 01:11:22,771
This entire time,
I was helping you
1626
01:11:22,796 --> 01:11:24,419
so you could get
promoted and leave me?
1627
01:11:24,444 --> 01:11:26,419
- I was doing it for my career.
- Why?
1628
01:11:26,444 --> 01:11:28,222
I mean, you're always talkin'
about how you feel like
1629
01:11:28,247 --> 01:11:30,443
- you don't belong there.
- I don't belong anywhere.
1630
01:11:30,483 --> 01:11:31,685
I'm clearly not white,
1631
01:11:31,710 --> 01:11:33,076
but you're always
telling me that I am.
1632
01:11:33,101 --> 01:11:35,365
And I'm also not Asian
enough. At least not for you.
1633
01:11:35,390 --> 01:11:37,169
That's all in your head!
Your life is perfect!
1634
01:11:37,194 --> 01:11:38,429
How is my life perfect
1635
01:11:38,465 --> 01:11:40,435
when I spend all my time
babysitting a grown-ass
1636
01:11:40,460 --> 01:11:43,531
- 29-year-old woman?
- I'm babysitting you!
1637
01:11:43,556 --> 01:11:45,267
I've been saving your
ass since we were kids
1638
01:11:45,292 --> 01:11:47,396
- on the playground.
- You've never, ever
1639
01:11:47,421 --> 01:11:48,952
applied yourself, Lolo.
1640
01:11:48,977 --> 01:11:51,548
You wanna be a real
artist? Then grow up!
1641
01:11:51,573 --> 01:11:54,476
Right now, you're just a
barnacle with a cute hobby!
1642
01:11:56,092 --> 01:11:59,328
Yo, I may be a barnacle, but
at least I know who I am.
1643
01:12:00,097 --> 01:12:01,098
You know what?
1644
01:12:02,480 --> 01:12:03,785
If we didn't grow up
1645
01:12:03,810 --> 01:12:06,623
as the only two
Asian girls in town,
1646
01:12:07,962 --> 01:12:09,419
we never would've been friends.
1647
01:12:43,664 --> 01:12:46,800
- Sorry.
- Thank you so much for waiting.
1648
01:12:46,900 --> 01:12:49,235
We found the record
1649
01:12:49,260 --> 01:12:51,194
- of your birth mother.
- Oh, my gosh.
1650
01:12:53,362 --> 01:12:55,765
I... I can't read this. Um...
1651
01:12:56,497 --> 01:12:59,233
So do I call her or...
1652
01:12:59,622 --> 01:13:01,787
I... I'm sorry, I'd... I
don't know how this works.
1653
01:13:03,004 --> 01:13:05,396
I'm so sorry to tell you that...
1654
01:13:05,974 --> 01:13:07,921
she's passed away.
1655
01:13:10,139 --> 01:13:13,035
I have the address of
where she was buried
1656
01:13:13,060 --> 01:13:15,595
if you would like to visit her.
1657
01:13:15,875 --> 01:13:17,645
No. I'm, uh, um...
1658
01:13:17,670 --> 01:13:19,105
Do you have friend here?
1659
01:13:19,218 --> 01:13:22,087
- Someone you can call?
- No. Uh, it's okay. Thank you.
1660
01:13:23,961 --> 01:13:26,363
Thank... Thank, thank you,
thank you so much. Thank you.
1661
01:13:28,398 --> 01:13:33,287
♪ If I could let
you in my skin
1662
01:13:33,988 --> 01:13:35,126
♪ Then you would know
1663
01:13:36,441 --> 01:13:38,068
♪ The state I'm in
1664
01:13:40,875 --> 01:13:42,076
Hi.
1665
01:13:42,101 --> 01:13:43,019
Hi, Dad.
1666
01:13:43,044 --> 01:13:45,459
♪ Every end
1667
01:13:48,641 --> 01:13:53,679
♪ Sometimes it's
hard for me to see
1668
01:13:54,802 --> 01:14:00,041
♪ Anything else
but stormy seas
1669
01:14:00,714 --> 01:14:02,124
Hey, it's Clarence.
1670
01:14:02,172 --> 01:14:04,312
Jesus loves you.
Leave a message.
1671
01:14:04,337 --> 01:14:06,372
Uh, hi.
1672
01:14:08,227 --> 01:14:11,631
I know you never wanna talk
to me again, but, um...
1673
01:14:14,118 --> 01:14:16,020
I hope you will listen.
1674
01:14:16,362 --> 01:14:21,699
I wanna be 100% honest
about everything and...
1675
01:14:21,724 --> 01:14:26,652
and, well, everyone
I've ever done.
1676
01:14:28,778 --> 01:14:31,410
I guess we'll
start with the A's.
1677
01:14:31,435 --> 01:14:35,699
♪ I didn't know it was fine
1678
01:14:35,724 --> 01:14:40,909
♪ To be quiet
1679
01:14:43,132 --> 01:14:47,503
♪ Quiet
1680
01:14:47,528 --> 01:14:52,033
♪ To be quiet
1681
01:14:55,048 --> 01:14:59,419
♪ Quiet ♪
1682
01:15:09,297 --> 01:15:10,599
Oh, I'm... I'm so sorry.
1683
01:15:10,624 --> 01:15:12,387
I don't... I don't speak
Korean.
1684
01:15:12,412 --> 01:15:13,680
That's okay.
1685
01:15:13,795 --> 01:15:15,441
My name's Dae Han.
1686
01:15:16,120 --> 01:15:17,751
I'm Min Young's husband.
1687
01:15:18,381 --> 01:15:19,990
You must be the daughter.
1688
01:15:22,256 --> 01:15:23,827
Wait. Are...
1689
01:15:24,725 --> 01:15:25,810
Are you my...
1690
01:15:25,835 --> 01:15:27,170
No.
1691
01:15:28,046 --> 01:15:30,030
But I'm glad to
finally meet you.
1692
01:15:31,547 --> 01:15:34,116
We were only married a few
years before she fell sick.
1693
01:15:34,318 --> 01:15:35,953
I'm so sorry.
1694
01:15:37,794 --> 01:15:38,977
They were good years.
1695
01:15:39,002 --> 01:15:41,036
We never had kids
of our own though.
1696
01:15:41,121 --> 01:15:42,788
I'm very sorry I wasn't
able to introduce you
1697
01:15:42,813 --> 01:15:44,190
to a little brother
or sister today.
1698
01:15:44,215 --> 01:15:46,418
It's okay.
1699
01:15:46,735 --> 01:15:48,770
She always talked
about you though.
1700
01:15:50,076 --> 01:15:51,220
You know, she was
just a teenager
1701
01:15:51,245 --> 01:15:52,613
when she got pregnant.
1702
01:15:54,024 --> 01:15:56,761
Her boyfriend didn't
want to get in trouble,
1703
01:15:56,786 --> 01:15:58,029
and he denied it.
1704
01:15:58,054 --> 01:16:01,272
So, her parents sent her to
China until you were born.
1705
01:16:03,160 --> 01:16:05,296
They're the ones who
forced her to give you up.
1706
01:16:05,413 --> 01:16:08,034
But she never stopped
thinking about you.
1707
01:16:10,272 --> 01:16:14,007
If I tried to find her sooner
1708
01:16:14,168 --> 01:16:16,103
maybe she and I could...
1709
01:16:20,676 --> 01:16:21,858
But it's too late.
1710
01:16:22,128 --> 01:16:23,629
There's something
you should see.
1711
01:16:25,257 --> 01:16:28,694
When she got sick, she
wanted to throw a party.
1712
01:16:29,985 --> 01:16:31,821
So, we rented a boat
1713
01:16:31,846 --> 01:16:34,314
and we sailed out
to Yeouido Park.
1714
01:16:34,584 --> 01:16:36,886
Uh, that's right
along the Han River.
1715
01:16:36,911 --> 01:16:38,612
Several of us got seasick
1716
01:16:38,637 --> 01:16:39,897
on the way...
1717
01:16:39,964 --> 01:16:41,733
which she thought
was pretty hilarious.
1718
01:16:43,624 --> 01:16:46,561
But it was beautiful.
1719
01:16:46,638 --> 01:16:49,107
She got to say goodbye
to everybody she loved.
1720
01:16:51,588 --> 01:16:53,038
Except for you.
1721
01:16:55,592 --> 01:16:57,684
So she made you this.
1722
01:17:14,928 --> 01:17:17,003
Hi. I'm Min.
1723
01:17:17,844 --> 01:17:20,191
Sorry, my English is not good.
1724
01:17:20,216 --> 01:17:21,571
What are you
talking about?
1725
01:17:21,596 --> 01:17:22,827
Your English is very good.
1726
01:17:25,273 --> 01:17:26,908
I am sorry
1727
01:17:26,933 --> 01:17:29,701
I could not be
part of your life.
1728
01:17:30,685 --> 01:17:33,121
I want to very much.
1729
01:17:34,246 --> 01:17:35,881
But when you were baby,
1730
01:17:35,906 --> 01:17:38,307
you smile so big.
1731
01:17:38,451 --> 01:17:41,655
And you cry so big.
1732
01:17:43,425 --> 01:17:47,596
I wonder what you are like now.
1733
01:17:48,617 --> 01:17:50,754
Are you doctor?
1734
01:17:51,385 --> 01:17:53,687
Lawyer? Teacher?
1735
01:17:56,427 --> 01:17:58,762
But it doesn't matter.
1736
01:17:58,901 --> 01:18:01,137
I'm proud to be your mother.
1737
01:18:01,213 --> 01:18:02,453
It
doesn't matter?
1738
01:18:02,478 --> 01:18:04,046
That's not what you told me.
1739
01:18:08,509 --> 01:18:13,414
I hope
this message find you.
1740
01:18:14,265 --> 01:18:15,633
And...
1741
01:18:26,914 --> 01:18:28,316
My daughter...
1742
01:18:29,443 --> 01:18:31,049
I love you.
1743
01:18:43,582 --> 01:18:44,741
I'm sorry.
1744
01:19:02,576 --> 01:19:05,396
Well, glad we got a chance
to spend some time together.
1745
01:19:05,421 --> 01:19:06,723
Me, too.
1746
01:19:06,803 --> 01:19:08,704
Really have to go so soon?
1747
01:19:08,800 --> 01:19:10,869
Yeah, but I'll be back.
1748
01:19:10,988 --> 01:19:12,355
Um...
1749
01:19:12,509 --> 01:19:15,078
Thank you so much
again for everything.
1750
01:19:15,280 --> 01:19:17,113
And honestly, I'm
just so lucky that you
1751
01:19:17,138 --> 01:19:18,716
happen to be at
her grave that day.
1752
01:19:18,741 --> 01:19:22,679
Well, I appreciate that, but,
uh, it wasn't quite luck.
1753
01:19:23,405 --> 01:19:25,440
Your friends messaged me.
1754
01:19:25,465 --> 01:19:26,535
Uh...
1755
01:19:26,560 --> 01:19:29,824
Lolo, Kat, and... I know I'm
gonna get this one wrong.
1756
01:19:29,849 --> 01:19:31,871
Uh, Deadeye?
1757
01:19:33,304 --> 01:19:35,405
Yeah. Oh, um...
1758
01:19:35,430 --> 01:19:37,267
Yeah, my... My parents
must've told them.
1759
01:19:37,355 --> 01:19:39,724
Yeah, they told me that
you were actually in Korea
1760
01:19:39,749 --> 01:19:42,152
and that I might find you
if I went to the graveyard.
1761
01:19:42,177 --> 01:19:43,622
They didn't tell you
any of this, did they?
1762
01:19:43,647 --> 01:19:45,248
Oh, no. We, um...
1763
01:19:45,456 --> 01:19:47,892
It's just, we got into
a little bit of a fight.
1764
01:19:47,917 --> 01:19:49,384
And, uh, I...
1765
01:19:50,266 --> 01:19:53,202
I lost my job and I said some...
1766
01:19:53,340 --> 01:19:55,909
really terrible things
to all of them and, uh...
1767
01:19:56,623 --> 01:19:58,425
It may not be any
of my business,
1768
01:19:59,493 --> 01:20:01,929
but it seems to me that
what matters the most
1769
01:20:02,008 --> 01:20:04,110
is if your friends love
you enough to forgive you.
1770
01:20:04,444 --> 01:20:07,179
- Well...
- And if they went through all this trouble,
1771
01:20:07,574 --> 01:20:08,870
I think they would.
1772
01:20:10,375 --> 01:20:11,610
Where are they now?
1773
01:20:44,781 --> 01:20:46,483
Hey, Kat.
1774
01:20:50,820 --> 01:20:54,472
Listen, I... I'm sorry about
everything that happened. I...
1775
01:20:54,497 --> 01:20:57,234
No. No. No, no,
no, no, no. I...
1776
01:20:57,259 --> 01:20:58,961
I listened to your voicemail.
1777
01:20:58,986 --> 01:21:02,789
The whole three hours of it.
1778
01:21:03,882 --> 01:21:05,644
I appreciate the honesty.
1779
01:21:05,669 --> 01:21:08,305
Truth of it is,
I kind of figured
1780
01:21:08,330 --> 01:21:10,700
that you'd had sex before.
1781
01:21:10,849 --> 01:21:13,988
You know, you're just
so sensual, and worldly
1782
01:21:14,013 --> 01:21:17,152
and one time I saw your
browser history and...
1783
01:21:17,177 --> 01:21:19,113
It's not like I
didn't wanna have sex.
1784
01:21:19,138 --> 01:21:20,672
I was just so worried
1785
01:21:20,716 --> 01:21:23,244
that I wouldn't live up
to your expectations.
1786
01:21:23,269 --> 01:21:24,903
And then when I saw your tattoo,
1787
01:21:24,928 --> 01:21:28,265
I just got crazy
intimidated and...
1788
01:21:28,290 --> 01:21:29,490
Look, Kat, when we kiss,
1789
01:21:29,515 --> 01:21:31,316
I have to leave space for Jesus.
1790
01:21:31,363 --> 01:21:32,771
I gotta leave that God gap
1791
01:21:32,796 --> 01:21:35,440
because I'm gonna ruin my pants.
1792
01:21:35,465 --> 01:21:36,699
Every time.
1793
01:21:36,724 --> 01:21:38,335
That's why I wear three
pairs of underwear.
1794
01:21:38,360 --> 01:21:40,816
Oh, honey. I love you so much
1795
01:21:40,841 --> 01:21:43,933
that I gave up the thing I
love second most for you.
1796
01:21:44,076 --> 01:21:46,944
And I love dick.
1797
01:21:46,969 --> 01:21:48,770
I can be dick.
1798
01:21:48,821 --> 01:21:51,324
And I can love
you. I can do both.
1799
01:21:51,349 --> 01:21:52,785
So, should we have
sex right now?
1800
01:21:52,810 --> 01:21:55,378
- Ah. Ooh. Ooh. Oh.
- Ah. Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh,
1801
01:21:55,403 --> 01:21:57,014
what's happening? What's
happening? What's happening?
1802
01:21:57,039 --> 01:21:58,730
Ha... Save... No...
1803
01:22:01,246 --> 01:22:02,214
Saved it.
1804
01:22:02,362 --> 01:22:03,329
- Saved it.
- Mmm.
1805
01:22:09,018 --> 01:22:10,243
Thanks, Jin Ho.
1806
01:22:10,268 --> 01:22:11,964
Heard you got into med school.
1807
01:22:11,989 --> 01:22:13,011
So proud.
1808
01:22:13,036 --> 01:22:15,237
Here you go. Hot and steamy.
1809
01:22:15,518 --> 01:22:16,933
Let me know if you
want hot sauce.
1810
01:22:16,958 --> 01:22:18,394
I'll get you the Chinese kind.
1811
01:22:18,419 --> 01:22:19,752
Pretty sure you can handle it.
1812
01:22:25,980 --> 01:22:27,917
- Hi.
- You had me at "Hi."
1813
01:22:27,995 --> 01:22:29,163
Oh.
1814
01:22:29,188 --> 01:22:30,839
Hi.
1815
01:22:30,902 --> 01:22:32,175
I didn't know you
worked here now.
1816
01:22:32,231 --> 01:22:34,476
I don't. I'm just covering
'cause Jing's out sick.
1817
01:22:34,501 --> 01:22:36,746
I'm trying to match her
vibe. What do you think?
1818
01:22:37,477 --> 01:22:40,194
Number
32! Number 32!
1819
01:22:40,219 --> 01:22:41,786
Party of two!
1820
01:22:42,775 --> 01:22:45,178
Yeah, that's good.
1821
01:22:49,271 --> 01:22:51,672
- Lolo.
- Sorry. I'm so sorry. Um...
1822
01:22:51,772 --> 01:22:53,275
She doesn't wanna talk to you.
1823
01:22:53,300 --> 01:22:54,925
Yeah, I figured when
I left her, like,
1824
01:22:54,950 --> 01:22:57,722
ten messages and she
didn't call me back.
1825
01:22:58,342 --> 01:22:59,876
Sorry.
1826
01:22:59,914 --> 01:23:02,550
Family first. Have to do
it. Respectfully, of course.
1827
01:23:02,816 --> 01:23:05,052
Yeah, no, I know. I know.
1828
01:23:05,261 --> 01:23:07,456
- Good to see you.
- Good to see you, too.
1829
01:23:07,507 --> 01:23:10,597
Lolo!
Lolo! No, no, no. Lolo! Stop.
1830
01:23:10,622 --> 01:23:12,924
No, no, no. Hey! Hey!
Break! Break! Stop!
1831
01:23:13,079 --> 01:23:14,458
Sorry. I'm so sorry.
1832
01:23:14,483 --> 01:23:15,550
Sorry, everyone.
1833
01:23:15,575 --> 01:23:16,877
Enjoy your meal.
1834
01:23:16,902 --> 01:23:20,373
Um, it's, it's just
that everything's a mess
1835
01:23:20,398 --> 01:23:21,699
and it's all my fault.
1836
01:23:22,175 --> 01:23:23,515
Ever since we were kids,
1837
01:23:23,540 --> 01:23:26,502
I was this scared little girl
1838
01:23:26,527 --> 01:23:31,132
who always felt like she had
to prove herself to everyone
1839
01:23:31,816 --> 01:23:33,347
except for you.
1840
01:23:34,207 --> 01:23:36,742
You were always
looking out for me.
1841
01:23:36,967 --> 01:23:42,072
With you was the only
time I felt safe to be me.
1842
01:23:43,891 --> 01:23:46,560
Even though I didn't know who
the hell I was.
1843
01:23:46,755 --> 01:23:49,524
But you've always been
comfortable being you.
1844
01:23:49,549 --> 01:23:51,918
And you tried to make
me feel that way too.
1845
01:23:51,943 --> 01:23:54,778
You know me better
than I know myself.
1846
01:23:58,135 --> 01:23:59,322
I...
1847
01:24:01,046 --> 01:24:05,084
You were right. I hated
working at that law firm.
1848
01:24:05,138 --> 01:24:09,474
But... Thanks to you, I can
do something more meaningful.
1849
01:24:10,734 --> 01:24:12,803
Start my own practice.
1850
01:24:12,828 --> 01:24:15,397
Because I know that
I'm brave enough now.
1851
01:24:15,422 --> 01:24:16,557
Hell yeah.
1852
01:24:16,582 --> 01:24:18,300
She had a devil's
threesome in China.
1853
01:24:18,360 --> 01:24:19,604
Huh? What?
1854
01:24:19,629 --> 01:24:21,032
I did.
1855
01:24:22,763 --> 01:24:24,108
Lolo, it's so great
1856
01:24:24,133 --> 01:24:25,173
that you are working here.
1857
01:24:25,198 --> 01:24:26,503
And I'm so proud of you for that
1858
01:24:26,528 --> 01:24:30,847
but you are an
incredible, true artist.
1859
01:24:30,872 --> 01:24:32,464
You cannot give
that up just because
1860
01:24:32,489 --> 01:24:38,814
I am a lying, hurtful,
stupid failure of a friend.
1861
01:24:38,839 --> 01:24:41,316
Audrey, I haven't
given up. Look.
1862
01:24:42,489 --> 01:24:44,491
My wall of licky cats.
1863
01:24:44,544 --> 01:24:46,013
I just sold one yesterday.
1864
01:24:46,114 --> 01:24:49,184
I'm only waiting tables for
now so I'm not such a barnacle.
1865
01:24:49,221 --> 01:24:51,285
You've always been a
better friend to me
1866
01:24:51,313 --> 01:24:54,350
than I have been to you.
And I'm so, so sorry.
1867
01:24:54,396 --> 01:24:56,932
Just shut up. Okay?
1868
01:25:00,188 --> 01:25:02,290
You're the best friend
I could ever ask for.
1869
01:25:02,342 --> 01:25:03,675
The biggest support system.
1870
01:25:03,700 --> 01:25:06,036
And I'm sorry. I'm the
one that's fuckin' sorry.
1871
01:25:06,061 --> 01:25:07,674
I took you for granted.
1872
01:25:10,167 --> 01:25:13,316
So, does that mean
you forgive me?
1873
01:25:14,799 --> 01:25:16,083
Come here, bitch.
1874
01:25:20,191 --> 01:25:21,391
Friendship.
1875
01:25:21,762 --> 01:25:23,613
Party of three?
1876
01:25:23,680 --> 01:25:25,282
Oh, my God. Get in here.
1877
01:25:25,307 --> 01:25:27,009
Deadeye.
1878
01:25:27,034 --> 01:25:28,769
We're back, baby!
1879
01:25:29,788 --> 01:25:30,890
Wait, are we all back?
1880
01:25:30,915 --> 01:25:32,558
Have you and Kat
started talkin' again?
1881
01:25:32,583 --> 01:25:33,885
Yeah, I called her to apologize.
1882
01:25:33,910 --> 01:25:36,780
But wait, does that mean
you and Kat were talking?
1883
01:25:37,150 --> 01:25:38,513
We've been in touch.
1884
01:25:38,538 --> 01:25:39,706
- We're like this.
- Mmm.
1885
01:25:39,731 --> 01:25:41,660
So, we should all go on a
trip again, the four of us.
1886
01:25:41,685 --> 01:25:45,815
To beautiful South Dakota.
Home of the Corn Palace.
1887
01:25:45,840 --> 01:25:48,667
- Yeah.
- Bookmark it.
1888
01:25:48,692 --> 01:25:50,691
Kat and I actually
had a place in mind.
1889
01:26:00,172 --> 01:26:01,639
Bonjour!
1890
01:26:07,007 --> 01:26:08,842
Look at us! Look at us!
1891
01:26:08,867 --> 01:26:11,683
Our second annual
best friends trip.
1892
01:26:11,798 --> 01:26:13,436
This is gonna be iconic.
1893
01:26:13,461 --> 01:26:15,300
Let's start with
some art and culture.
1894
01:26:15,325 --> 01:26:16,644
Oh, I love Roldan.
1895
01:26:16,669 --> 01:26:18,446
I gotta say, the French
know how to sculpt a titty.
1896
01:26:18,471 --> 01:26:19,464
I love art.
1897
01:26:19,489 --> 01:26:20,949
Oh, that's
gonna be so much fun.
1898
01:26:20,974 --> 01:26:22,630
Art. Art. Art.
1899
01:26:25,734 --> 01:26:26,902
So, is anyone hungry?
1900
01:26:26,927 --> 01:26:28,071
- Yes. Please.
- I am.
1901
01:26:28,096 --> 01:26:29,460
I want to try escargot.
1902
01:26:29,485 --> 01:26:32,255
You know, we don't
have to eat French food.
1903
01:26:32,635 --> 01:26:35,405
- This is so good.
- I love this bulgogi.
1904
01:26:35,430 --> 01:26:37,185
Mmm. LOLO: Mmm.
1905
01:26:37,210 --> 01:26:39,479
Okay, okay. A toast.
1906
01:26:39,504 --> 01:26:41,661
To Audrey. Badass boss bitch
1907
01:26:41,686 --> 01:26:43,828
- starting her own firm.
- Yes, she is!
1908
01:26:43,853 --> 01:26:45,322
To our dearest Deadeye.
1909
01:26:45,347 --> 01:26:47,227
Because they host the
most incredible game night
1910
01:26:47,274 --> 01:26:48,976
specifically so I can
crush them at Catan.
1911
01:26:49,001 --> 01:26:51,084
And to Kat
1912
01:26:51,109 --> 01:26:54,745
who's in a movie directed
by the Greta Gerwig.
1913
01:26:54,770 --> 01:26:56,738
Yes, she is!
1914
01:26:56,763 --> 01:26:59,864
Okay. And to our very
own Frida Kah-Lolo...
1915
01:26:59,920 --> 01:27:01,222
Aw.
1916
01:27:01,247 --> 01:27:03,767
whose lotus collection
is finally at the MOCA.
1917
01:27:03,792 --> 01:27:05,694
Well, it's not the Museum
of Contemporary Arts
1918
01:27:05,719 --> 01:27:08,923
but it is a cafe in
Snohomish. So ganbei to that.
1919
01:27:08,991 --> 01:27:10,725
Ganbei!
1920
01:27:11,365 --> 01:27:13,157
- Mmm.
- I don't wanna hijack
1921
01:27:13,182 --> 01:27:16,918
our second annual
best friends trip
1922
01:27:17,027 --> 01:27:19,329
but Clar-Bear and I looking
at fall dates for the wedding
1923
01:27:19,354 --> 01:27:21,389
and I was just wondering...
1924
01:27:22,057 --> 01:27:23,850
will you all be my bridal party?
1925
01:27:23,875 --> 01:27:25,480
- Really? Of course.
- Of course, we will.
1926
01:27:25,505 --> 01:27:26,790
Duh! LOLO: Ooh!
1927
01:27:26,815 --> 01:27:29,451
The bridal party should all
get matching tattoos like Kat.
1928
01:27:29,478 --> 01:27:31,065
Okay, very funny.
1929
01:27:31,090 --> 01:27:32,592
Very funny. Ha-ha.
1930
01:27:32,617 --> 01:27:34,152
Ganbei!
1931
01:27:35,318 --> 01:27:36,101
Mmm.
1932
01:27:36,126 --> 01:27:38,858
Mmm. Or we could get a
tattoo of the Chinese flag
1933
01:27:38,883 --> 01:27:40,586
to commemorate the motherland.
1934
01:27:40,611 --> 01:27:42,513
Or Princess Peach.
I haven't decided.
1935
01:27:42,538 --> 01:27:44,166
I think I'm gonna
get an Eiffel Tower.
1936
01:27:44,191 --> 01:27:46,861
- Because Paris?
- No, the...
1937
01:27:46,886 --> 01:27:48,299
Hmm. Yeah.
1938
01:27:48,324 --> 01:27:50,124
Yeah, like you all
are gonna get tattoos.
1939
01:27:50,149 --> 01:27:51,650
What if
I already got one?
1940
01:27:53,422 --> 01:27:54,589
I already got one.
1941
01:27:54,666 --> 01:27:56,011
- You did not.
- What?
1942
01:27:56,036 --> 01:27:57,544
Wanna see?
1943
01:28:02,920 --> 01:28:04,366
It lights up.
1944
01:28:04,548 --> 01:28:05,649
Ooh!
1945
01:28:14,088 --> 01:28:16,923
♪ What cha think
you're doin', baby?
1946
01:28:27,811 --> 01:28:29,171
♪ Speed up
1947
01:28:41,239 --> 01:28:43,913
♪ I'm gonna take you high
1948
01:28:51,409 --> 01:28:53,663
♪ Demonstrate, demonstrate
1949
01:29:01,197 --> 01:29:03,593
♪ Demonstrate, demonstrate
1950
01:29:06,552 --> 01:29:07,685
♪ Come on, come on, baby
1951
01:29:07,710 --> 01:29:09,645
♪ Now come and get this
1952
01:29:11,368 --> 01:29:14,137
♪ Baby, I know, I know
you really want it
1953
01:29:40,818 --> 01:29:43,422
♪ I'm gonna take you high
1954
01:29:51,028 --> 01:29:53,430
♪ Demonstrate, demonstrate
1955
01:30:01,035 --> 01:30:03,370
♪ Demonstrate, demonstrate
1956
01:30:06,130 --> 01:30:07,532
♪ Come on, come on, baby
1957
01:30:07,557 --> 01:30:09,405
♪ Now come and get this
1958
01:30:11,048 --> 01:30:14,046
♪ Baby, I know, I know
you really want it
1959
01:30:20,552 --> 01:30:24,189
♪ So can you take me high
1960
01:30:32,139 --> 01:30:34,774
♪ Demonstrate, demonstrate
1961
01:30:42,132 --> 01:30:44,401
♪ Demonstrate, demonstrate
1962
01:30:47,080 --> 01:30:48,481
♪ Come on, come on, baby
1963
01:30:48,506 --> 01:30:50,141
♪ Now come and get this
1964
01:30:52,166 --> 01:30:55,303
♪ Baby, I know, I know
you really want it ♪