1 00:01:15,776 --> 00:01:18,777 GIRL: Everybody asks why I started at the end 2 00:01:18,779 --> 00:01:21,313 and worked back to the beginning. 3 00:01:21,315 --> 00:01:22,714 The reason is simple. 4 00:01:22,716 --> 00:01:25,117 I couldn't understand the beginning 5 00:01:25,119 --> 00:01:27,386 until I'd reached the end. 6 00:01:30,057 --> 00:01:32,658 There were too many pieces of the puzzle missing. 7 00:01:32,660 --> 00:01:35,994 Too much she would never tell. 8 00:01:37,665 --> 00:01:42,401 I could sell these things. People want to buy them. 9 00:01:42,403 --> 00:01:44,403 But I'd set all this on fire first. 10 00:01:44,405 --> 00:01:46,405 She'd like that. 11 00:01:46,407 --> 00:01:48,474 That's what she would do. 12 00:01:48,476 --> 00:01:51,577 She'd make it just to burn it. 13 00:01:52,680 --> 00:01:54,580 I couldn't afford this one, 14 00:01:54,582 --> 00:01:57,216 but the beginning deserves something special. 15 00:01:57,218 --> 00:02:00,252 But how do I show that nothing, 16 00:02:00,254 --> 00:02:03,422 not a taste, not a smell, 17 00:02:03,424 --> 00:02:05,524 not even the color of the sky 18 00:02:05,526 --> 00:02:07,693 has ever been as clear and sharp 19 00:02:07,695 --> 00:02:10,562 as it was when I belonged to her. 20 00:02:10,564 --> 00:02:12,698 I don't know how to express 21 00:02:12,700 --> 00:02:16,101 that being with someone so dangerous 22 00:02:16,103 --> 00:02:19,571 was the last time that I felt safe. 23 00:02:55,042 --> 00:02:58,911 The Santa Anas blew in hot from the desert that fall. 24 00:02:58,913 --> 00:03:03,782 Only the oleanders thrived. 25 00:03:06,153 --> 00:03:09,888 Maybe the wind was the reason my mother did what she did. 26 00:03:09,890 --> 00:03:12,357 If it was, I wouldn't have known. 27 00:03:12,359 --> 00:03:15,427 I lived in her shadow then. 28 00:03:15,429 --> 00:03:17,496 She was 29 00:03:17,498 --> 00:03:20,799 the most beautiful woman I'd ever seen. 30 00:03:20,801 --> 00:03:23,902 I know everybody thinks that when they're small, 31 00:03:23,904 --> 00:03:25,537 but she was the most beautiful woman 32 00:03:25,539 --> 00:03:29,208 most people had ever seen. 33 00:03:30,644 --> 00:03:33,412 He came into our lives without warning. 34 00:03:33,414 --> 00:03:35,781 She ignored him at first. 35 00:03:35,783 --> 00:03:37,149 He wasn't her type. 36 00:03:37,151 --> 00:03:41,053 We laughed about him, his persistence. 37 00:03:41,055 --> 00:03:43,522 "Never let a man spend the night," 38 00:03:43,524 --> 00:03:44,923 she said. 39 00:03:44,925 --> 00:03:47,192 "Never apologize, never explain." 40 00:03:48,996 --> 00:03:50,963 She was breaking all her rules... 41 00:03:50,965 --> 00:03:54,666 and it would change everything. 42 00:04:00,241 --> 00:04:03,408 What are you doing up here? 43 00:04:03,410 --> 00:04:05,877 Come sit next to me. 44 00:04:05,879 --> 00:04:10,582 It's the best place to feel the wind. 45 00:04:10,584 --> 00:04:13,685 I can feel it from here. 46 00:04:13,687 --> 00:04:16,054 No, you can't. 47 00:04:19,293 --> 00:04:22,728 It's okay. 48 00:04:27,301 --> 00:04:29,167 You should get some sleep. 49 00:04:29,169 --> 00:04:31,169 I never sleep. 50 00:04:31,171 --> 00:04:32,704 I've been up here for hours. 51 00:04:32,706 --> 00:04:34,706 I had the most amazing idea 52 00:04:34,708 --> 00:04:38,577 for how to use my Polaroids in the Newport show. 53 00:04:38,579 --> 00:04:40,712 I'm going to skip work today. 54 00:04:40,714 --> 00:04:43,548 Keep going until I finish. 55 00:04:43,550 --> 00:04:45,584 You're still coming to Parents' Night, 56 00:04:45,586 --> 00:04:47,185 aren't you? 57 00:04:47,187 --> 00:04:49,254 Oh, God, I forgot. 58 00:04:51,558 --> 00:04:55,727 I made plans to go to Greta's opening. 59 00:04:55,729 --> 00:04:58,130 All the other parents go. 60 00:04:58,132 --> 00:05:02,534 What can they tell me about you that I don't know already know? 61 00:05:03,370 --> 00:05:05,871 Time is up! Pencils down. 62 00:05:05,873 --> 00:05:09,574 Papers, please. Thank you. 63 00:05:09,576 --> 00:05:12,210 Thank you. 64 00:05:12,212 --> 00:05:14,946 Time, Astrid. 65 00:05:17,351 --> 00:05:19,584 Is your mother coming tonight? 66 00:05:19,586 --> 00:05:22,220 No. 67 00:05:22,222 --> 00:05:23,755 She has other plans. 68 00:05:23,757 --> 00:05:26,325 More important than Parents' Night? 69 00:05:26,327 --> 00:05:27,826 She's an artist. 70 00:05:27,828 --> 00:05:31,263 She doesn't care about things like Parents' Night. 71 00:05:31,265 --> 00:05:33,098 Right. 72 00:05:33,100 --> 00:05:38,236 Don't forget, you guys, chapters 17 and 18 for tomorrow. 73 00:05:38,238 --> 00:05:40,339 Finished my mug shots. 74 00:05:40,341 --> 00:05:42,641 What do you think? 75 00:05:42,643 --> 00:05:45,210 They're great. 76 00:05:45,212 --> 00:05:47,179 No. 77 00:05:47,181 --> 00:05:48,680 You're not looking. 78 00:05:48,682 --> 00:05:51,717 You can't be an artist if you don't see. 79 00:05:51,719 --> 00:05:53,919 Why do you think they're great? 80 00:06:02,329 --> 00:06:03,862 I don't know. 81 00:06:05,699 --> 00:06:08,066 They're lonely. 82 00:06:11,839 --> 00:06:14,439 It's me in the center. 83 00:06:14,441 --> 00:06:16,274 It's our secret. 84 00:06:16,276 --> 00:06:18,009 You can't tell anybody. 85 00:06:18,011 --> 00:06:19,544 I won't. 86 00:06:19,546 --> 00:06:23,348 I never tell our secrets. 87 00:06:26,387 --> 00:06:28,487 WOMAN: It's the deer-in- the-headlights look. 88 00:06:28,489 --> 00:06:29,788 It's hilarious. 89 00:06:29,790 --> 00:06:31,556 MAN: How long has this been going on? 90 00:06:31,558 --> 00:06:32,958 Couple months. 91 00:06:32,960 --> 00:06:35,694 His wife will figure it out sooner or later. 92 00:06:35,696 --> 00:06:37,662 Ah, she's an idiot. 93 00:06:38,565 --> 00:06:40,632 Cinema Scene. 94 00:06:41,835 --> 00:06:44,369 It's Barry Kolker again. 95 00:06:47,574 --> 00:06:49,374 Tell him I was killed 96 00:06:49,376 --> 00:06:52,811 in a climbing accident in the Himalayas. 97 00:06:52,813 --> 00:06:55,947 Barry, she's still out of town. 98 00:07:11,565 --> 00:07:13,465 We don't have any eggs. 99 00:07:13,467 --> 00:07:17,002 We never have any eggs. 100 00:07:20,974 --> 00:07:25,343 Barry can take us out to breakfast. 101 00:07:25,345 --> 00:07:27,345 Barry spent the night? 102 00:07:27,347 --> 00:07:29,681 Yeah. 103 00:07:58,745 --> 00:08:00,045 [DOOR OPENS] 104 00:08:08,388 --> 00:08:10,455 [DOOR SLAMMING] 105 00:08:15,395 --> 00:08:18,296 I bet he's still out of town on that assignment. 106 00:08:18,298 --> 00:08:19,664 I called the magazine. 107 00:08:19,666 --> 00:08:22,067 He got back three days ago. 108 00:08:22,069 --> 00:08:23,935 Well, he's probably working. 109 00:08:23,937 --> 00:08:25,504 He doesn't call when he works. 110 00:08:25,506 --> 00:08:26,972 He doesn't call 111 00:08:26,974 --> 00:08:29,207 when he's getting what he wants from somebody else. 112 00:08:49,096 --> 00:08:51,563 I don't think we should do this. 113 00:08:51,565 --> 00:08:53,365 He'll get mad. 114 00:08:53,367 --> 00:08:55,634 I'll just say we were in the neighborhood. 115 00:08:55,636 --> 00:08:59,504 He won't believe us. 116 00:10:20,654 --> 00:10:24,022 You're not my type. 117 00:10:29,730 --> 00:10:32,931 You're not my type. 118 00:10:45,846 --> 00:10:47,445 What happened? 119 00:10:47,447 --> 00:10:49,948 He has a date. 120 00:10:49,950 --> 00:10:54,552 He made love to me and then said I had to leave 121 00:10:54,554 --> 00:10:56,888 because he has a date. 122 00:10:59,660 --> 00:11:04,329 [POUNDING ON DOOR] 123 00:11:05,565 --> 00:11:07,365 [ARGUING] 124 00:11:10,837 --> 00:11:13,571 You're under arrest for the murder of Barry Kolker. 125 00:11:13,573 --> 00:11:15,206 They can't keep me! 126 00:11:15,208 --> 00:11:17,909 I'll be back in an hour! 127 00:11:43,937 --> 00:11:46,538 [KNOCKING] 128 00:11:49,676 --> 00:11:51,209 You must be Astrid? 129 00:11:51,211 --> 00:11:53,278 I'm Miss Martinez 130 00:11:53,280 --> 00:11:54,579 from Children's Services. 131 00:11:54,581 --> 00:11:55,880 I'm here to pick you up. 132 00:11:55,882 --> 00:11:57,582 If you need more time to pack, 133 00:11:57,584 --> 00:12:00,585 I can give you 15 minutes, but that's it. 134 00:12:00,587 --> 00:12:01,720 I'm not going anywhere. 135 00:12:01,722 --> 00:12:03,455 I'm waiting for my mother to come home. 136 00:12:03,457 --> 00:12:06,991 Your mother won't be coming home... 137 00:12:06,993 --> 00:12:09,227 at least not for a while. 138 00:12:31,551 --> 00:12:34,152 In accordance with the laws of the state of California, 139 00:12:34,154 --> 00:12:37,388 I sentence you to the term prescribed by law 140 00:12:37,390 --> 00:12:40,825 for murder in the first degree. 141 00:12:40,827 --> 00:12:44,195 Not less than 35 years to life in a maximum security prison. 142 00:13:36,850 --> 00:13:38,783 Hello, Starr. How are you? 143 00:13:38,785 --> 00:13:40,518 I'm fine! 144 00:13:40,520 --> 00:13:42,954 How are you? 145 00:13:42,956 --> 00:13:43,822 Good to see you. 146 00:13:43,824 --> 00:13:45,523 Good to see you. 147 00:13:45,525 --> 00:13:47,392 But y'all must be starving after that long drive. 148 00:13:47,394 --> 00:13:48,593 I hope you like olive loaf, 149 00:13:48,595 --> 00:13:51,629 because I made enough to feed an army. 150 00:13:51,631 --> 00:13:52,764 How was the traffic? 151 00:13:52,766 --> 00:13:54,132 It was bad downtown, 152 00:13:54,134 --> 00:13:56,668 but it cleared up pretty fast. Astrid? 153 00:13:56,670 --> 00:13:58,670 There you go. 154 00:13:58,672 --> 00:14:02,040 Astrid Magnussen, this is Starr Thomas. 155 00:14:02,042 --> 00:14:04,742 It is so nice to meet you, Astrid. 156 00:14:04,744 --> 00:14:05,743 Come on in! 157 00:14:05,745 --> 00:14:07,745 Let me help you with that. 158 00:14:07,747 --> 00:14:08,880 Was it a long drive? 159 00:14:08,882 --> 00:14:10,281 Yeah. 160 00:14:10,283 --> 00:14:12,217 I hope you didn't bring a ton of stuff 161 00:14:12,219 --> 00:14:14,052 because you have to share a bedroom 162 00:14:14,054 --> 00:14:15,587 with my daughter, Carolee. 163 00:14:15,589 --> 00:14:17,088 So this is our home. 164 00:14:17,090 --> 00:14:18,523 This is where we have company, usually. 165 00:14:18,525 --> 00:14:21,125 And then in here is the kitchen, and what not. 166 00:14:21,127 --> 00:14:23,161 The boys sleep in here, in the living room 167 00:14:23,163 --> 00:14:24,762 because we don't have enough bedrooms. 168 00:14:24,764 --> 00:14:27,765 That's Davey, in the glasses, and Owen. 169 00:14:27,767 --> 00:14:29,033 This is Astrid, boys. 170 00:14:29,035 --> 00:14:30,101 You say hi? 171 00:14:30,103 --> 00:14:32,003 Carolee? 172 00:14:32,005 --> 00:14:34,405 I said get out here, right now. 173 00:14:34,407 --> 00:14:37,175 Let's just go in there. 174 00:14:40,480 --> 00:14:43,781 This is Carolee, my daughter. 175 00:14:43,783 --> 00:14:45,884 Make some room, okay? 176 00:14:45,886 --> 00:14:48,186 And this is where you're going to be sleeping. 177 00:14:48,188 --> 00:14:50,922 And she'll clean all that up, don't worry. 178 00:14:50,924 --> 00:14:53,291 Don't mind her. She's hormonal. 179 00:14:53,293 --> 00:14:56,194 The problem is she hasn't been saved. 180 00:14:56,196 --> 00:14:57,829 What about you? 181 00:14:57,831 --> 00:14:59,330 What? 182 00:14:59,332 --> 00:15:02,533 Have you accepted Jesus Christ as your personal savior? 183 00:15:02,535 --> 00:15:03,601 I don't know. 184 00:15:03,603 --> 00:15:05,737 Well, when you do, he'll be waiting. 185 00:15:05,739 --> 00:15:09,107 This is where Ray and I sleep, and the bathroom is right here. 186 00:15:09,109 --> 00:15:11,476 Let's go back in here. 187 00:15:11,478 --> 00:15:14,913 Ray's home late tonight because it's his poker night. 188 00:15:14,915 --> 00:15:16,247 And he's a good man, and all, 189 00:15:16,249 --> 00:15:18,216 but don't talk to him about Jesus. 190 00:15:18,218 --> 00:15:20,385 He acts like he's the repo man or something, 191 00:15:20,387 --> 00:15:22,620 not a carpenter like him. 192 00:15:38,772 --> 00:15:41,606 You must be the new addition. 193 00:15:41,608 --> 00:15:43,775 I'm Ray. 194 00:15:45,679 --> 00:15:50,214 Or Uncle Ray, but that's Starr's idea. 195 00:15:50,216 --> 00:15:52,250 Not mine. 196 00:15:54,854 --> 00:15:56,354 I'm Astrid. 197 00:15:56,356 --> 00:15:59,824 It's nice to meet you, Astrid. 198 00:15:59,826 --> 00:16:01,459 You coming in? 199 00:16:06,599 --> 00:16:08,333 How come? 200 00:16:09,135 --> 00:16:11,469 I'm thinking. 201 00:16:12,305 --> 00:16:13,771 What about? 202 00:16:18,578 --> 00:16:20,645 My mother. 203 00:16:22,515 --> 00:16:24,749 Starr was telling me about her. 204 00:16:24,751 --> 00:16:27,919 She's doing time for killing her boyfriend? 205 00:16:31,658 --> 00:16:35,226 Yeah, well, those things happen. 206 00:16:38,531 --> 00:16:41,799 Come in when you're ready, okay? 207 00:16:46,973 --> 00:16:50,074 That slut thinks she can tell me what to do? 208 00:16:50,076 --> 00:16:51,642 She said I was grounded. 209 00:16:51,644 --> 00:16:53,311 She's the mother in The Brady Bunch. 210 00:16:53,313 --> 00:16:55,079 [SOUNDS OF LOVEMAKING] 211 00:16:55,081 --> 00:16:56,647 Listen to that. 212 00:16:58,952 --> 00:17:00,885 Saved by Jesus. 213 00:17:00,887 --> 00:17:02,553 She's such a hypocrite. 214 00:17:02,555 --> 00:17:05,957 They shouldn't be doing it. They're not even married. 215 00:17:05,959 --> 00:17:09,460 Reverend Daniels always sniffing around here, 216 00:17:09,462 --> 00:17:10,862 blah-blah-ing about Jesus. 217 00:17:10,864 --> 00:17:13,464 All he really wants to do is to look at her ass. 218 00:17:17,370 --> 00:17:19,237 Don't forget to leave the window open. 219 00:17:19,239 --> 00:17:21,606 Don't look at me like that. 220 00:17:21,608 --> 00:17:23,341 You're no different than I am. 221 00:17:23,343 --> 00:17:25,610 You just don't know it yet. 222 00:17:46,366 --> 00:17:49,133 [BED POUNDING WALL AND ECSTATIC MOANS] 223 00:17:49,135 --> 00:17:50,401 [POUNDING ON DOOR] 224 00:17:50,403 --> 00:17:51,669 BARRY: I'm going to kill you! 225 00:17:53,206 --> 00:17:55,306 I'll strangle you! 226 00:17:57,110 --> 00:17:59,644 You bloody bitch! 227 00:18:03,483 --> 00:18:05,783 Sin is a virus. 228 00:18:05,785 --> 00:18:07,452 That's what Reverend Thomas says. 229 00:18:07,454 --> 00:18:09,554 It's infecting the whole country like the clap. 230 00:18:09,556 --> 00:18:12,156 You know they got a clap now you can't get rid of? 231 00:18:12,158 --> 00:18:14,759 I think we've got every excuse in the book. 232 00:18:14,761 --> 00:18:17,128 "What's wrong if I shovel coke up my nose? 233 00:18:17,130 --> 00:18:18,663 Who's it hurting?" 234 00:18:18,665 --> 00:18:20,498 "What's wrong with wanting to feel good all the time? 235 00:18:20,500 --> 00:18:21,566 Who does it hurt?" 236 00:18:21,568 --> 00:18:23,034 Well, it hurts us. 237 00:18:23,036 --> 00:18:24,569 And it hurts Jesus. 238 00:18:24,571 --> 00:18:26,804 Because it's wrong. 239 00:18:26,806 --> 00:18:29,073 I don't know how you can swallow that shit. 240 00:18:29,075 --> 00:18:32,477 "He who believeth in me, though he was dead, 241 00:18:32,479 --> 00:18:34,312 yet will he live." 242 00:18:34,314 --> 00:18:36,481 And don't you forget it, missy. 243 00:18:36,483 --> 00:18:38,816 Here we are. 244 00:18:38,818 --> 00:18:39,617 Are you kidding? 245 00:18:39,619 --> 00:18:41,219 It's a miracle I'm not dead. 246 00:18:41,221 --> 00:18:43,321 They took my kids away and everything. 247 00:18:43,323 --> 00:18:45,189 I was an alcoholic, I was a coke head, 248 00:18:45,191 --> 00:18:46,657 I was dancing topless, you name it. 249 00:18:46,659 --> 00:18:49,393 Shut up, for Christ's sake. People are staring. 250 00:18:49,395 --> 00:18:52,997 Astrid, look! Look at that! 251 00:18:52,999 --> 00:18:56,767 That is going to go perfect with your new shoes! 252 00:18:56,769 --> 00:18:58,536 I mean, I really felt like that! 253 00:18:58,538 --> 00:19:01,038 "Who cares if I hang my tits in some stranger's face?" 254 00:19:01,040 --> 00:19:03,508 It's nobody's business but mine. 255 00:19:03,510 --> 00:19:06,744 You know what? This is going to be good on you. 256 00:19:09,449 --> 00:19:11,849 Astrid, those are ugly shoes. 257 00:19:11,851 --> 00:19:14,118 Snakes don't bite above the ankle. 258 00:19:14,120 --> 00:19:15,453 Well, take my word for it, 259 00:19:15,455 --> 00:19:17,455 you're better off being bitten by snakes 260 00:19:17,457 --> 00:19:19,724 than dressing for them. 261 00:19:20,927 --> 00:19:22,994 Carolee, we need to get her some bras. 262 00:19:22,996 --> 00:19:25,763 Carolee had her first bra when she was nine. 263 00:19:25,765 --> 00:19:28,065 You don't want them things hanging to your knees 264 00:19:28,067 --> 00:19:29,467 when you're 30. 265 00:19:29,469 --> 00:19:31,402 Try it on. That'll be good on you. 266 00:19:32,405 --> 00:19:35,339 Carolee, will Ray love that? 267 00:19:35,341 --> 00:19:38,442 Look that. That is so nice! 268 00:19:38,444 --> 00:19:41,312 Hurry, Astrid. It's here! 269 00:19:41,314 --> 00:19:43,681 I told you you were going to miss it! 270 00:19:43,683 --> 00:19:46,751 Astrid. This one is for you. 271 00:19:50,957 --> 00:19:52,156 Who is it from? 272 00:19:52,158 --> 00:19:53,824 My mother. 273 00:19:53,826 --> 00:19:56,761 I didn't think she knew where I was. 274 00:19:58,498 --> 00:20:00,898 INGRID: Dear Astrid, 275 00:20:00,900 --> 00:20:03,301 have you been getting my letters? 276 00:20:03,303 --> 00:20:06,204 It's been six months. Why don't you write? 277 00:20:06,206 --> 00:20:08,005 It's only a few minutes 278 00:20:08,007 --> 00:20:10,374 before they turn out the lights. 279 00:20:10,376 --> 00:20:14,378 I can hear the women screaming in their cells. 280 00:20:14,380 --> 00:20:17,114 We're both in prison, you and I, 281 00:20:17,116 --> 00:20:21,152 punished for our strength and our independence. 282 00:20:21,154 --> 00:20:23,054 Don't forget who you are. 283 00:20:23,056 --> 00:20:25,523 The best part of me is well-hidden, 284 00:20:25,525 --> 00:20:27,258 and you have to do the same. 285 00:20:27,260 --> 00:20:31,996 Remember it all, every insult, every tear. 286 00:20:42,742 --> 00:20:44,475 What are you doing? 287 00:20:45,878 --> 00:20:49,280 I'm writing a letter to my mother. 288 00:20:49,282 --> 00:20:51,515 You ever write your dad? 289 00:20:51,517 --> 00:20:54,252 I don't know where he is. 290 00:20:54,254 --> 00:20:56,854 I never met him. 291 00:20:56,856 --> 00:20:59,123 He left when I was two. 292 00:20:59,125 --> 00:21:00,891 Your mother tell you much about him? 293 00:21:00,893 --> 00:21:03,327 No. 294 00:21:03,329 --> 00:21:04,729 Aren't you curious? 295 00:21:04,731 --> 00:21:07,665 I think about what he would think of me. 296 00:21:07,667 --> 00:21:10,468 He probably thinks you're still two. 297 00:21:10,470 --> 00:21:12,536 That's how I remember my son, Seth. 298 00:21:12,538 --> 00:21:14,272 You have a son? 299 00:21:14,274 --> 00:21:15,439 Yeah. 300 00:21:15,441 --> 00:21:17,341 Hey, Ray! 301 00:21:17,343 --> 00:21:20,144 Hey, Patty. 302 00:21:23,850 --> 00:21:26,083 You're going to the Jesus show? 303 00:21:26,085 --> 00:21:27,551 Aren't you coming? 304 00:21:27,553 --> 00:21:28,886 To Bible study? No. 305 00:21:28,888 --> 00:21:30,788 In my opinion, if there's a God, 306 00:21:30,790 --> 00:21:33,057 he sure as hell ain't worth praying to. 307 00:21:34,727 --> 00:21:37,928 That sounds like something my mother would say. 308 00:21:37,930 --> 00:21:41,999 She wouldn't even take me to the Christmas pageant at school. 309 00:21:42,001 --> 00:21:45,102 She made me beg a ride off another kid. 310 00:21:48,207 --> 00:21:50,441 Hey, Ray. 311 00:21:50,443 --> 00:21:52,610 How you doing, Reverend? 312 00:21:54,113 --> 00:21:56,247 I don't think he likes me very much. 313 00:21:59,719 --> 00:22:01,319 Why don't you and Starr get married? 314 00:22:01,321 --> 00:22:03,387 Because I'm already married. 315 00:22:03,389 --> 00:22:06,157 Astrid, come on in. We're starting. 316 00:22:06,159 --> 00:22:08,459 Okay, I'm coming. 317 00:22:08,461 --> 00:22:10,461 Where's your wife? 318 00:22:10,463 --> 00:22:14,165 Who knows? 319 00:22:14,167 --> 00:22:18,803 I haven't seen her or my son in over five years. 320 00:22:34,187 --> 00:22:35,586 I baptize you 321 00:22:35,588 --> 00:22:39,323 in the name of the Father, the Son, and the Holy Spirit. 322 00:22:52,004 --> 00:22:55,706 Do you believe in God now? 323 00:22:55,708 --> 00:22:58,442 Maybe it's not such a bad thing 324 00:22:58,444 --> 00:23:00,678 to believe in something. 325 00:23:00,680 --> 00:23:02,513 It's better to know things. 326 00:23:02,515 --> 00:23:04,715 Why? 327 00:23:04,717 --> 00:23:06,317 What does knowing things get you? 328 00:23:06,319 --> 00:23:07,818 Does it tell you the difference 329 00:23:07,820 --> 00:23:11,055 between right or wrong? 330 00:23:13,493 --> 00:23:17,695 She didn't kill that guy alone. 331 00:23:17,697 --> 00:23:22,099 I knew what my mother was doing, you know? 332 00:23:22,101 --> 00:23:25,870 I could've saved his life but I didn't. 333 00:23:54,700 --> 00:23:56,400 Come on. 334 00:24:08,147 --> 00:24:10,781 BARRY: I'm going to kill you, Ingrid! 335 00:24:10,783 --> 00:24:12,416 [POUNDING] 336 00:24:12,418 --> 00:24:15,386 You think there was something valuable on that hard disk? 337 00:24:15,388 --> 00:24:17,788 Maybe a collection of essays 338 00:24:17,790 --> 00:24:20,090 due at the publisher's this fall. 339 00:24:23,329 --> 00:24:25,596 You bloody bitch! 340 00:24:25,598 --> 00:24:27,164 You can't do this to me! 341 00:24:27,166 --> 00:24:29,767 INGRID: You don't know what I can do. 342 00:24:33,172 --> 00:24:35,439 MAN: Know your inmate's number. 343 00:24:37,777 --> 00:24:41,812 No number, no visit. 344 00:24:41,814 --> 00:24:43,314 Hey, baby. 345 00:25:00,800 --> 00:25:02,266 MAN: Astrid Magnussen? 346 00:25:06,405 --> 00:25:09,473 Astrid? Follow me. 347 00:25:29,462 --> 00:25:30,928 Momma. 348 00:25:35,268 --> 00:25:36,066 [LOUDLY SOBBING] 349 00:25:36,068 --> 00:25:38,035 No, no, no, no, no. 350 00:25:39,639 --> 00:25:41,872 Don't cry. 351 00:25:41,874 --> 00:25:43,040 We're not like that. 352 00:25:43,042 --> 00:25:45,075 We're the Vikings, remember? 353 00:25:45,077 --> 00:25:47,778 [RAP MUSIC PLAYING] 354 00:25:51,617 --> 00:25:54,685 You're so beautiful. 355 00:25:54,687 --> 00:25:56,921 Prison agrees with me. 356 00:25:56,923 --> 00:25:58,923 There's no hypocrisy here. 357 00:25:58,925 --> 00:26:02,192 Kill or be killed, and everybody knows it. 358 00:26:04,430 --> 00:26:07,231 Do they hurt you? 359 00:26:07,233 --> 00:26:09,567 Not as much as I hurt them. 360 00:26:12,405 --> 00:26:16,874 I won't be in here forever, I promise you that. 361 00:26:16,876 --> 00:26:18,876 One day, you'll look out your window, 362 00:26:18,878 --> 00:26:20,811 and I'll be there. 363 00:26:22,982 --> 00:26:26,383 Your hair smells like clover. 364 00:26:26,385 --> 00:26:29,853 I want to remember you just like this 365 00:26:29,855 --> 00:26:34,358 in that sadly hopeful pink dress. 366 00:26:34,360 --> 00:26:36,727 Starr picked it out. 367 00:26:36,729 --> 00:26:39,897 Of course she did. 368 00:26:42,568 --> 00:26:44,501 What's that? 369 00:26:44,503 --> 00:26:47,504 Nothing. 370 00:26:47,506 --> 00:26:49,506 It's just a cross. 371 00:26:49,508 --> 00:26:51,108 I know it's a cross. 372 00:26:54,580 --> 00:26:55,946 Why are you wearing it? 373 00:26:55,948 --> 00:27:00,651 It's a present from Starr. 374 00:27:00,653 --> 00:27:03,253 She force you to go to church? 375 00:27:03,255 --> 00:27:06,190 They're really nice people. 376 00:27:06,192 --> 00:27:07,825 It's called the Assembly of God. 377 00:27:07,827 --> 00:27:09,326 To join, 378 00:27:09,328 --> 00:27:11,929 you have to accept Christ as your personal savior. 379 00:27:11,931 --> 00:27:13,464 Then you're baptized. 380 00:27:13,466 --> 00:27:16,066 They call it being washed in the blood of the lamb. 381 00:27:16,068 --> 00:27:18,569 But really it's just water. 382 00:27:21,207 --> 00:27:24,074 Have you accepted Christ as your personal savior? 383 00:27:24,076 --> 00:27:27,511 There's nothing wrong with being a Christian. 384 00:27:27,513 --> 00:27:29,213 Are you out of your mind? 385 00:27:31,751 --> 00:27:32,950 How did this happen? 386 00:27:32,952 --> 00:27:34,351 I raised you. 387 00:27:34,353 --> 00:27:36,353 Not a pack of Bible-thumping trailer trash. 388 00:27:36,355 --> 00:27:38,789 I raised you to think for yourself. 389 00:27:38,791 --> 00:27:41,225 No, you didn't. 390 00:27:44,096 --> 00:27:47,131 You raised me to think like you. 391 00:27:47,133 --> 00:27:50,067 And maybe thinking for yourself 392 00:27:50,069 --> 00:27:51,902 isn't so great. 393 00:27:51,904 --> 00:27:53,937 Reverend Daniels says it's evil. 394 00:27:53,939 --> 00:27:56,373 Evil? 395 00:27:56,375 --> 00:27:59,576 If thinking for yourself is evil, 396 00:27:59,578 --> 00:28:01,578 then every artist is evil. 397 00:28:01,580 --> 00:28:02,680 Is that what you believe? 398 00:28:02,682 --> 00:28:03,681 Now that you've been washed 399 00:28:03,683 --> 00:28:04,982 in the blood of the lamb? 400 00:28:04,984 --> 00:28:08,285 Man's ability to reason is evil. Am I evil? 401 00:28:08,287 --> 00:28:10,320 No. 402 00:28:12,391 --> 00:28:15,059 No... 403 00:28:15,061 --> 00:28:17,561 But killing people who don't want you is evil. 404 00:28:19,065 --> 00:28:21,365 We pray for your redemption every Sunday. 405 00:28:21,367 --> 00:28:23,567 Fuck my redemption. I don't want to be redeemed. 406 00:28:23,569 --> 00:28:25,335 I regret nothing. 407 00:28:25,337 --> 00:28:28,272 MAN ON LOUDSPEAKER: Attention, please. Visiting hours are over. 408 00:28:30,776 --> 00:28:34,978 It's good that you're trying to identify evil, Astrid. 409 00:28:34,980 --> 00:28:37,715 But evil is tricky. 410 00:28:37,717 --> 00:28:40,117 Just when you think you know what it is, 411 00:28:40,119 --> 00:28:41,785 it changes its form. 412 00:28:41,787 --> 00:28:46,790 Learning its nature takes a lifetime of study. 413 00:28:46,792 --> 00:28:49,993 I will not lose you. 414 00:28:49,995 --> 00:28:52,830 Not to them. 415 00:28:52,832 --> 00:28:54,665 Those people are the enemy, Astrid. 416 00:28:54,667 --> 00:28:57,167 MAN ON LOUDSPEAKER: Visiting hours are over. 417 00:28:57,903 --> 00:28:59,036 Write to me. 418 00:28:59,038 --> 00:29:00,270 Time's up. 419 00:29:00,272 --> 00:29:03,707 Write to me. At least once a week. 420 00:29:03,709 --> 00:29:09,313 I'm the only person you know who can keep you honest. 421 00:29:14,353 --> 00:29:17,221 Don't forget who you are, Astrid. 422 00:29:18,424 --> 00:29:22,392 You're my daughter and you're perfect, remember? 423 00:29:55,261 --> 00:29:57,828 How far away is it? 424 00:29:57,830 --> 00:29:59,429 About a mile. 425 00:29:59,431 --> 00:30:01,899 Maybe two. 426 00:30:01,901 --> 00:30:03,700 Shouldn't we pack up and go? 427 00:30:03,702 --> 00:30:05,202 Not yet. 428 00:30:05,204 --> 00:30:07,771 The wind is still in our favor. 429 00:30:11,577 --> 00:30:13,677 My mother used to love fire season. 430 00:30:13,679 --> 00:30:20,284 She made me decide what I'd take if we had to go. 431 00:30:20,286 --> 00:30:24,288 She said if I was brave, I wouldn't take anything. 432 00:30:24,290 --> 00:30:27,124 Your mother sounds tough. 433 00:30:27,126 --> 00:30:28,826 Not like you. 434 00:30:28,828 --> 00:30:31,929 What am I like? 435 00:30:31,931 --> 00:30:35,132 You, you're... 436 00:30:35,134 --> 00:30:37,234 you're a sweetheart. 437 00:30:45,077 --> 00:30:47,878 Astrid, honey. 438 00:30:47,880 --> 00:30:49,680 Astrid? 439 00:30:50,916 --> 00:30:53,817 Come on in here a minute. 440 00:31:00,759 --> 00:31:02,559 Sit down. I won't bite. 441 00:31:08,067 --> 00:31:09,333 You're having fun here aren't you? 442 00:31:09,335 --> 00:31:12,336 Making yourself at home, getting comfortable? 443 00:31:16,208 --> 00:31:17,841 A little too comfortable, I'd say. 444 00:31:20,079 --> 00:31:22,446 I may not be some genius, but I'm getting your game. 445 00:31:22,448 --> 00:31:24,514 And believe me, it takes one to know one. 446 00:31:24,516 --> 00:31:25,682 One what? 447 00:31:25,684 --> 00:31:28,485 Always hanging around, handling his tools. 448 00:31:28,487 --> 00:31:31,021 "What's this for, Uncle Ray? Can I help you, Uncle Ray?" 449 00:31:31,023 --> 00:31:33,657 We're not doing anything. 450 00:31:33,659 --> 00:31:35,626 I'm calling Children's Services I want you to know. 451 00:31:35,628 --> 00:31:39,529 It's all over for you, little missy. 452 00:31:39,531 --> 00:31:41,865 But... Don't "but" me. 453 00:31:41,867 --> 00:31:44,001 He is a man. 454 00:31:44,003 --> 00:31:47,738 And he sees what he sees, and he does what he can. 455 00:31:47,740 --> 00:31:50,340 I've got a nice thing going here. 456 00:31:50,342 --> 00:31:52,209 Ray is the best man I ever had, 457 00:31:52,211 --> 00:31:53,277 and I've lived too long 458 00:31:53,279 --> 00:31:55,245 and come too far to blow it now. 459 00:31:57,816 --> 00:31:59,449 I never had a father. 460 00:31:59,451 --> 00:32:01,485 Don't. 461 00:32:03,255 --> 00:32:05,255 I've got myself and my own kids to worry about. 462 00:32:05,257 --> 00:32:07,224 You and me, we hardly know each other. 463 00:32:07,226 --> 00:32:09,893 I don't owe you a thing. 464 00:32:11,630 --> 00:32:14,064 Jesus would give me a chance. 465 00:32:14,066 --> 00:32:18,902 Well, I'm not Jesus, not even close. 466 00:32:24,343 --> 00:32:26,777 He might be mad... 467 00:32:26,779 --> 00:32:29,446 if he knew you sent me away because you were jealous. 468 00:32:32,284 --> 00:32:34,451 You're trying to make him a prisoner. 469 00:32:34,453 --> 00:32:35,919 He's going to hate you. 470 00:32:38,157 --> 00:32:39,990 What do you know about men? 471 00:32:39,992 --> 00:32:42,793 I know that men don't like women who try to own them. 472 00:32:43,862 --> 00:32:45,195 I like you. 473 00:32:45,197 --> 00:32:47,331 I like the kids. 474 00:32:47,333 --> 00:32:49,833 I would never do anything to screw it up. 475 00:32:51,770 --> 00:32:54,738 You swear you're not interested in him? 476 00:32:54,740 --> 00:32:57,941 I swear to God. 477 00:33:03,182 --> 00:33:04,715 There! Did you see it? 478 00:33:04,717 --> 00:33:07,784 I'm not sure. 479 00:33:07,786 --> 00:33:09,019 You see anything yet? 480 00:33:09,021 --> 00:33:10,687 It's just starting. 481 00:33:10,689 --> 00:33:13,323 But we should be getting 40 an hour pretty soon. 482 00:33:13,325 --> 00:33:14,691 The Quadrantid 483 00:33:14,693 --> 00:33:16,693 is the shortest-lived meteorite shower, 484 00:33:16,695 --> 00:33:19,963 but the densest, except for the Perseids. 485 00:33:29,074 --> 00:33:31,308 You and Starr, you having a beef? 486 00:33:33,812 --> 00:33:36,980 No. Why? 487 00:33:40,352 --> 00:33:42,619 Just something she said. 488 00:33:48,193 --> 00:33:52,062 Guess it's hard, getting older... 489 00:33:52,064 --> 00:33:55,332 pretty girl coming up in the house. 490 00:33:55,334 --> 00:33:56,733 Ray, honey? 491 00:33:56,735 --> 00:34:00,103 What are you doing out here? 492 00:34:00,105 --> 00:34:03,006 Nothing, baby. Just having a smoke. 493 00:34:11,116 --> 00:34:13,617 Looking at the stars. 494 00:34:20,726 --> 00:34:22,225 STARR: And this is 40 dollars, 495 00:34:22,227 --> 00:34:24,494 not even 40 dollars a month. 496 00:34:24,496 --> 00:34:25,762 And you waste 497 00:34:25,764 --> 00:34:27,397 200 dollars in one night? 498 00:34:27,399 --> 00:34:28,999 And you been doing it weekly. 499 00:34:29,001 --> 00:34:30,333 RAY: Listen, I won last week. 500 00:34:30,335 --> 00:34:32,069 What else you doing with the money, Ray? 501 00:34:33,472 --> 00:34:35,338 You can't even look at me! 502 00:34:35,340 --> 00:34:36,807 I'm looking right at you. 503 00:34:36,809 --> 00:34:39,042 You weren't when I asked you that question. 504 00:34:39,044 --> 00:34:40,610 And you got your car out there. 505 00:34:40,612 --> 00:34:43,346 God knows what you spend on that. 506 00:34:43,348 --> 00:34:45,348 That comes out of my pocket. No, it doesn't. 507 00:34:45,350 --> 00:34:47,017 Don't ruin this. 508 00:34:47,019 --> 00:34:48,919 Ruin what? 509 00:34:51,490 --> 00:34:53,390 She's drinking again. 510 00:34:53,392 --> 00:34:54,791 And who else were you with? 511 00:34:54,793 --> 00:34:56,827 I saw you eyeing her the other day. 512 00:35:00,265 --> 00:35:02,933 [CAR APPROACHING] 513 00:35:02,935 --> 00:35:05,068 [DOOR OPENING] 514 00:35:14,313 --> 00:35:16,413 Thought you were all going to a movie? 515 00:35:17,149 --> 00:35:18,949 I had a lot of homework. 516 00:35:18,951 --> 00:35:22,519 How come you aren't playing poker? 517 00:35:22,521 --> 00:35:25,555 The game got cancelled. 518 00:35:28,393 --> 00:35:29,960 They coming home soon? 519 00:35:29,962 --> 00:35:33,096 Not too long. 520 00:35:36,068 --> 00:35:39,236 Well, there's plenty of food, if you want. 521 00:35:39,238 --> 00:35:40,971 Thanks. 522 00:36:22,181 --> 00:36:24,848 This isn't right. 523 00:37:14,733 --> 00:37:17,601 Is everyone gone? 524 00:37:20,872 --> 00:37:22,606 STARR: It is all my business! 525 00:37:22,608 --> 00:37:25,242 This is my house! 526 00:37:25,244 --> 00:37:26,243 You have to abide 527 00:37:26,245 --> 00:37:28,545 by the laws that I put down! 528 00:37:28,547 --> 00:37:31,748 I waited up for you all night long. 529 00:37:31,750 --> 00:37:33,817 I want to know who you were with. 530 00:37:33,819 --> 00:37:35,051 Don't give me your shit! 531 00:37:35,053 --> 00:37:36,753 You stayed up all night to drink! 532 00:37:36,755 --> 00:37:39,122 I stayed up to catch you, you whore! 533 00:37:39,124 --> 00:37:40,991 You should know. 534 00:37:43,128 --> 00:37:45,962 Try it again, I'll take you out, bitch. 535 00:37:48,066 --> 00:37:49,366 Carolee! 536 00:37:49,368 --> 00:37:52,569 You walk out that door, don't bother coming back. 537 00:37:52,571 --> 00:37:54,037 Why the hell would I want to? 538 00:37:54,039 --> 00:37:56,406 I've been down this road with you before, 539 00:37:56,408 --> 00:37:57,907 [SARCASTIC] Mom. 540 00:37:59,278 --> 00:38:00,310 Sorry, Davey. 541 00:38:00,312 --> 00:38:02,979 I can't go through this again. 542 00:38:05,183 --> 00:38:07,250 Carolee! 543 00:38:16,995 --> 00:38:18,561 STARR: You used to like it fine 544 00:38:18,563 --> 00:38:22,065 before you started doing that little bitch! 545 00:38:22,067 --> 00:38:24,601 Admit it, you bastard! You're screwing her! 546 00:38:24,603 --> 00:38:25,935 Call your sponsor. Screw my sponsor! 547 00:38:25,937 --> 00:38:27,470 [WHISPERING] Go back to bed. 548 00:38:27,472 --> 00:38:30,240 I should've gotten rid of her when I had the chance. 549 00:38:30,242 --> 00:38:31,741 You know what I'm going to do? 550 00:38:31,743 --> 00:38:34,611 I'm going to go in there, and I'm going to cash her check. 551 00:38:34,613 --> 00:38:36,613 Hey, Starr, stop it. 552 00:38:36,615 --> 00:38:37,947 Hey! Stop! 553 00:38:39,251 --> 00:38:40,650 [VIOLENT STRUGGLING] 554 00:38:40,652 --> 00:38:41,985 What the hell is wrong...? 555 00:38:41,987 --> 00:38:43,119 Get off of me! 556 00:38:45,590 --> 00:38:46,890 Starr! 557 00:38:46,892 --> 00:38:47,957 Starr! 558 00:38:49,661 --> 00:38:53,496 Get off of me, goddamn it! Get off of me! 559 00:38:53,498 --> 00:38:55,865 [STARR SCREAMING AND GLASS BREAKING] 560 00:39:10,082 --> 00:39:12,315 [ASTRID CRYING] 561 00:39:14,920 --> 00:39:16,653 INGRID: No, don't cry. 562 00:39:16,655 --> 00:39:18,355 We're not like that. 563 00:39:18,357 --> 00:39:20,623 We're the Vikings, remember? 564 00:39:24,629 --> 00:39:26,396 Astrid? 565 00:39:26,398 --> 00:39:28,531 Astrid? Can you talk to me? 566 00:39:28,533 --> 00:39:30,400 Astrid. Talk to me. 567 00:39:30,402 --> 00:39:32,268 Can you talk to me? 568 00:39:32,270 --> 00:39:33,269 Okay, she's coming around. 569 00:39:33,271 --> 00:39:34,471 This boy saved your life. 570 00:39:34,473 --> 00:39:39,576 If he hadn't called 911, you'd be dead. 571 00:39:39,578 --> 00:39:41,544 Who did this to you? Who shot you? 572 00:39:41,546 --> 00:39:42,612 I don't know. 573 00:39:42,614 --> 00:39:45,215 Watch your feet. 574 00:39:49,888 --> 00:39:51,688 Where's Ray, Davey? 575 00:39:51,690 --> 00:39:53,690 He's gone. 576 00:39:53,692 --> 00:39:55,358 They're both gone! 577 00:39:57,429 --> 00:39:59,429 I'm sorry. 578 00:39:59,431 --> 00:40:01,598 I'm so sorry I ruined it. 579 00:40:01,600 --> 00:40:02,766 Doesn't matter. 580 00:40:02,768 --> 00:40:05,201 Something would have. 581 00:40:05,203 --> 00:40:07,303 Bye, Astrid. 582 00:40:07,305 --> 00:40:08,304 MAN: Watch the step. 583 00:40:08,306 --> 00:40:09,839 We got you, Astrid. 584 00:40:12,144 --> 00:40:13,977 Okay, step. 585 00:41:02,160 --> 00:41:04,294 We'd prefer to find you a permanent placement, 586 00:41:04,296 --> 00:41:07,197 but we have so many children on our books right now. 587 00:41:07,199 --> 00:41:09,132 The hospital said you need special attention 588 00:41:09,134 --> 00:41:11,000 which you'll get at McKinney Hall. 589 00:41:11,002 --> 00:41:12,769 They have all sorts of activities 590 00:41:12,771 --> 00:41:14,170 for young people. 591 00:41:22,247 --> 00:41:25,114 You're dead, bitch! You hear me? You are dead. 592 00:41:26,184 --> 00:41:29,185 Don't you ever look at my boyfriend again, you hear me? 593 00:41:29,187 --> 00:41:31,254 Don't ever look at my boyfriend again. 594 00:41:31,256 --> 00:41:33,990 If you look at my boyfriend, you're dead! 595 00:42:48,199 --> 00:42:50,166 The next time you and your friends jump me, 596 00:42:50,168 --> 00:42:54,404 I'll cut your throats when you're sleeping. 597 00:42:58,009 --> 00:43:01,044 [POLICE SIRENS WAILING] 598 00:43:10,488 --> 00:43:12,855 What do you want? 599 00:43:12,857 --> 00:43:16,593 I was looking at your picture. 600 00:43:16,595 --> 00:43:18,261 It's good. 601 00:43:20,365 --> 00:43:23,166 Who is it? 602 00:43:26,938 --> 00:43:29,639 How come you chopped off your hair? 603 00:43:29,641 --> 00:43:31,307 None of your business. 604 00:43:35,814 --> 00:43:37,146 You're still beautiful. 605 00:43:37,148 --> 00:43:38,615 Looks don't interest me. 606 00:43:38,617 --> 00:43:44,220 That's easy for you to say, you've never been ugly. 607 00:44:09,881 --> 00:44:11,614 Oh, look. 608 00:44:11,616 --> 00:44:12,982 It's the puta. 609 00:44:12,984 --> 00:44:14,951 She's so ugly now, huh? 610 00:44:14,953 --> 00:44:16,185 [LAUGHTER] 611 00:44:53,658 --> 00:44:56,325 You're not ugly. 612 00:45:03,935 --> 00:45:05,668 INGRID: You write as if 613 00:45:05,670 --> 00:45:07,370 you're surprised to find me still beautiful, even here. 614 00:45:07,372 --> 00:45:12,075 Our beauty is our power, our strength. 615 00:45:12,077 --> 00:45:16,112 We can't allow them to change us, to lessen us. 616 00:45:16,114 --> 00:45:20,016 I will never grant them that satisfaction, 617 00:45:20,018 --> 00:45:21,451 and neither should you. 618 00:45:30,495 --> 00:45:33,062 So is this your first time in Mac? 619 00:45:35,867 --> 00:45:36,866 Figured. 620 00:45:36,868 --> 00:45:39,669 You're so unfriendly. 621 00:45:39,671 --> 00:45:42,371 Life is easier without friends. 622 00:45:42,373 --> 00:45:44,640 Maybe. 623 00:45:44,642 --> 00:45:46,042 I like it here. 624 00:45:46,044 --> 00:45:48,244 It's better than being in a foster home. 625 00:45:48,246 --> 00:45:51,180 It's the floor you can't fall below. 626 00:45:55,820 --> 00:45:57,787 What's that? 627 00:45:57,789 --> 00:46:00,523 A letter. 628 00:46:00,525 --> 00:46:02,625 From who? 629 00:46:02,627 --> 00:46:03,826 My mother. 630 00:46:03,828 --> 00:46:05,962 And where is she? 631 00:46:05,964 --> 00:46:08,498 In prison. For murder. 632 00:46:08,500 --> 00:46:10,733 And your father? 633 00:46:10,735 --> 00:46:13,069 Don't know the guy. 634 00:46:15,673 --> 00:46:16,939 How about you? 635 00:46:16,941 --> 00:46:20,076 Oh, they were junkies. 636 00:46:20,078 --> 00:46:22,111 She O.D.'d when I was six, 637 00:46:22,113 --> 00:46:23,946 and he disappeared a couple years later. 638 00:46:23,948 --> 00:46:25,181 I was born addicted to heroin. 639 00:46:25,183 --> 00:46:26,916 Really? What was that like? 640 00:46:26,918 --> 00:46:28,384 I don't know. 641 00:46:28,386 --> 00:46:31,420 I was out of rehab by the time I was six months old. 642 00:46:35,393 --> 00:46:36,559 So... 643 00:46:38,163 --> 00:46:40,096 What's the deal? Are you gay? 644 00:46:40,098 --> 00:46:42,465 What? 645 00:46:42,467 --> 00:46:45,501 I don't know, I get this funny feeling from you, 646 00:46:45,503 --> 00:46:48,070 like you're not interested in guys. 647 00:46:50,108 --> 00:46:52,008 You're right, I'm not. 648 00:46:52,010 --> 00:46:53,142 [LAUGHING] 649 00:46:53,144 --> 00:46:54,644 GIRL 1: You think that's funny? 650 00:46:54,646 --> 00:46:56,946 I'm sick of this. I'm not going to let you do this again. 651 00:46:56,948 --> 00:46:59,782 Why don't you shut up, okay? 652 00:47:13,531 --> 00:47:15,464 ASTRID: What if they catch us? 653 00:47:15,466 --> 00:47:17,733 They'd put us in McKinney Hall. 654 00:47:17,735 --> 00:47:19,402 Come on! 655 00:47:24,175 --> 00:47:27,176 The guy is a genius. 656 00:47:27,178 --> 00:47:30,046 I started out copying his stuff, but... 657 00:47:30,048 --> 00:47:35,585 I could never touch him. 658 00:47:35,587 --> 00:47:38,020 He's great. 659 00:47:38,022 --> 00:47:39,689 But you're better. 660 00:47:42,861 --> 00:47:44,827 You're insane. 661 00:47:47,765 --> 00:47:49,165 No, I'm not. 662 00:47:49,167 --> 00:47:53,769 He's a great cartoonist, but you're an artist. 663 00:47:53,771 --> 00:47:55,838 What's the difference? 664 00:47:58,443 --> 00:48:01,677 That's like asking why a joke is funny. 665 00:48:01,679 --> 00:48:03,846 Either it's funny or it's not. 666 00:48:03,848 --> 00:48:06,849 You're either an artist or you're not. 667 00:48:06,851 --> 00:48:09,118 You are. 668 00:48:35,480 --> 00:48:36,879 That's good. 669 00:49:47,685 --> 00:49:50,820 There's another one! Do you see it. 670 00:49:50,822 --> 00:49:52,955 Yeah. 671 00:49:58,863 --> 00:50:02,865 The Lyrids shower is visible most of the night. 672 00:50:02,867 --> 00:50:05,534 The brightest star is Vega... 673 00:50:05,536 --> 00:50:07,169 but you can't look right at it 674 00:50:07,171 --> 00:50:10,039 or you'll miss the fainter meteors. 675 00:50:10,041 --> 00:50:13,909 You can trace them back to Lyra. 676 00:50:13,911 --> 00:50:16,579 How do you know all that? 677 00:50:20,518 --> 00:50:22,985 A kid I used to know. 678 00:50:34,499 --> 00:50:38,000 I used to have a foster home right over there. 679 00:50:43,608 --> 00:50:46,609 It's nice living on the beach. 680 00:50:53,184 --> 00:50:58,754 Do you ever think about your father? 681 00:50:58,756 --> 00:51:02,024 Not really. He was an asshole. 682 00:51:06,130 --> 00:51:10,499 I think about mine sometimes. 683 00:51:10,501 --> 00:51:13,369 That when I'm an artist, 684 00:51:13,371 --> 00:51:15,271 he'll read about me in the papers 685 00:51:15,273 --> 00:51:18,841 and he'll want to meet me. 686 00:51:26,184 --> 00:51:28,617 I'm not gay. 687 00:51:31,122 --> 00:51:32,388 I know that. 688 00:51:58,182 --> 00:52:00,749 I'll show you the one he did of me. 689 00:52:09,127 --> 00:52:10,326 It's right... 690 00:52:10,328 --> 00:52:11,694 right here. 691 00:52:11,696 --> 00:52:14,063 They're not bad for what they are. 692 00:52:14,065 --> 00:52:18,033 For what they are? 693 00:52:18,035 --> 00:52:20,002 What are they? 694 00:52:20,004 --> 00:52:22,905 Cartoons. 695 00:52:22,907 --> 00:52:24,840 No, they're not. 696 00:52:24,842 --> 00:52:26,442 They're so much more than that. 697 00:52:26,444 --> 00:52:28,277 He's really talented. 698 00:52:28,279 --> 00:52:31,147 Don't do it again, Astrid. 699 00:52:31,149 --> 00:52:32,281 Do what again? 700 00:52:32,283 --> 00:52:33,983 Attach yourself 701 00:52:33,985 --> 00:52:36,719 to anyone who shows you the least bit of attention 702 00:52:36,721 --> 00:52:38,053 because you're lonely. 703 00:52:38,055 --> 00:52:42,892 Loneliness is the human condition. 704 00:52:42,894 --> 00:52:46,128 No one is ever going to fill that space. 705 00:52:46,130 --> 00:52:48,964 The best you can do is know yourself, 706 00:52:48,966 --> 00:52:49,965 know what you want, 707 00:52:49,967 --> 00:52:53,502 and don't let the cattle get in the way. 708 00:52:53,504 --> 00:52:56,405 You're not talking about me. 709 00:52:56,407 --> 00:52:59,475 You're talking about yourself. 710 00:52:59,477 --> 00:53:00,743 Sometimes I get the feeling 711 00:53:00,745 --> 00:53:02,444 you don't even want me to be happy. 712 00:53:02,446 --> 00:53:07,983 Why wouldn't I want you to be happy? 713 00:53:17,495 --> 00:53:19,795 Where are they sending you? 714 00:53:19,797 --> 00:53:21,864 I don't know. 715 00:53:25,069 --> 00:53:26,468 Look... 716 00:53:30,575 --> 00:53:33,542 The comic book store will hold letters for me. 717 00:53:33,544 --> 00:53:37,012 Wherever they take you, keep checking there. 718 00:54:38,376 --> 00:54:41,577 Why do we have to go all the way to Mexico to buy this stuff? 719 00:54:41,579 --> 00:54:43,445 It isn't FDA approved. 720 00:54:43,447 --> 00:54:47,549 What's it called? 721 00:54:47,551 --> 00:54:50,019 DMSO. 722 00:54:50,021 --> 00:54:52,755 What's it for? 723 00:54:52,757 --> 00:54:56,525 All sorts of things. 724 00:55:02,833 --> 00:55:04,333 You'll like these people. 725 00:55:04,335 --> 00:55:06,802 She's an actress and he does something in television. 726 00:55:09,206 --> 00:55:10,239 Do they have any kids? 727 00:55:10,241 --> 00:55:14,176 No. They're looking to adopt. 728 00:56:06,030 --> 00:56:08,764 She's had an incredibly hard time. 729 00:56:08,766 --> 00:56:09,998 She's very smart, 730 00:56:10,000 --> 00:56:11,633 she's just missed a lot of school. 731 00:56:11,635 --> 00:56:12,935 Mm. 732 00:56:13,838 --> 00:56:15,404 Look, you don't have to decide immediately. 733 00:56:15,406 --> 00:56:17,272 Okay. 734 00:56:17,274 --> 00:56:18,741 Just talk to her, 735 00:56:18,743 --> 00:56:21,410 and if you're uncomfortable in any way, 736 00:56:21,412 --> 00:56:22,678 you just let me know. 737 00:56:38,362 --> 00:56:41,296 There you are. 738 00:56:41,298 --> 00:56:44,800 I'm really sorry that Mark couldn't be here to meet you, 739 00:56:44,802 --> 00:56:48,170 but he's filming in Nova Scotia, so... 740 00:56:48,172 --> 00:56:50,806 Well, this is it! 741 00:56:50,808 --> 00:56:52,574 I left it plain on purpose 742 00:56:52,576 --> 00:56:55,310 because I thought 743 00:56:55,312 --> 00:56:57,413 that way you could put your own things up. 744 00:56:57,415 --> 00:57:01,283 I like the D rer watercolor. 745 00:57:01,285 --> 00:57:02,718 You know who D rer is? 746 00:57:02,720 --> 00:57:04,987 My mother is an artist. 747 00:57:04,989 --> 00:57:07,322 Oh. That's right. Of course. 748 00:57:07,324 --> 00:57:09,658 Of course, they said that. 749 00:57:09,660 --> 00:57:13,662 Hey, listen, do you want some tea or something? 750 00:57:13,664 --> 00:57:15,764 Or Pepsi. I bought Pepsi. 751 00:57:15,766 --> 00:57:17,733 I mean, I didn't know what you'd drink. 752 00:57:17,735 --> 00:57:18,934 Or we have juice. 753 00:57:18,936 --> 00:57:21,336 I could make you a smoothie if you like. 754 00:57:21,338 --> 00:57:23,505 Would you like a smoothie? 755 00:57:23,507 --> 00:57:25,140 Tea is fine. 756 00:57:29,613 --> 00:57:33,081 I walk, I walk, stop... 757 00:57:33,083 --> 00:57:35,751 look... 758 00:57:35,753 --> 00:57:38,720 And now I die. 759 00:57:38,722 --> 00:57:40,889 [CHAINSAW BUZZING] 760 00:57:44,628 --> 00:57:45,961 You're really good. 761 00:57:45,963 --> 00:57:47,763 Do you know what a nightmare it is? 762 00:57:47,765 --> 00:57:49,198 It's such a nightmare. 763 00:57:49,200 --> 00:57:51,366 I mean, you spend all this time getting ready, 764 00:57:51,368 --> 00:57:52,701 ages, getting ready, 765 00:57:52,703 --> 00:57:55,170 drag yourself down to this audition 766 00:57:55,172 --> 00:57:57,573 so they can look at you for two seconds, 767 00:57:57,575 --> 00:58:00,642 and tell you that you're too ethnic, 768 00:58:00,644 --> 00:58:03,512 or too classic, too something. 769 00:58:03,514 --> 00:58:05,481 Too ethnic? Mm-hm. 770 00:58:05,483 --> 00:58:07,182 It means brunette. 771 00:58:07,184 --> 00:58:08,784 [LAUGHS] 772 00:58:08,786 --> 00:58:11,386 And too classic means old. 773 00:58:11,388 --> 00:58:14,389 And... too small? 774 00:58:14,391 --> 00:58:15,724 Breasts. 775 00:58:15,726 --> 00:58:18,594 Why do you do it then? 776 00:58:18,596 --> 00:58:20,329 What do you mean? 777 00:58:20,331 --> 00:58:22,197 Give up show business? 778 00:58:38,382 --> 00:58:40,182 Come on! 779 00:58:50,361 --> 00:58:53,095 Here. To your first run on the beach. 780 00:58:53,097 --> 00:58:56,698 Well done. Never again. 781 00:58:56,700 --> 00:58:58,600 How is your shoulder? 782 00:58:58,602 --> 00:59:00,802 It's fine. 783 00:59:00,804 --> 00:59:04,506 You did really well! Really, really well. 784 00:59:19,223 --> 00:59:20,255 What was... 785 00:59:20,257 --> 00:59:24,526 the best day of your life? 786 00:59:30,067 --> 00:59:31,533 Today. 787 00:59:33,938 --> 00:59:35,103 What should we do later? 788 00:59:35,105 --> 00:59:39,608 I don't know. What do you want to do? 789 00:59:39,610 --> 00:59:41,076 Swim? 790 00:59:41,078 --> 00:59:42,210 Okay. 791 00:59:45,282 --> 00:59:47,516 Oh, my God! 792 00:59:47,518 --> 00:59:49,851 He's back early! 793 00:59:55,392 --> 00:59:56,558 Mark! 794 01:00:12,042 --> 01:00:13,308 You must be Astrid. 795 01:00:15,679 --> 01:00:18,213 It took us three hours to get him back in there. 796 01:00:18,215 --> 01:00:20,415 The whole film crew is gathered around. 797 01:00:20,417 --> 01:00:23,018 He still almost chickens out. 798 01:00:23,020 --> 01:00:23,952 I think he thought 799 01:00:23,954 --> 01:00:25,187 it was going to come back 800 01:00:25,189 --> 01:00:27,389 and try and finish him off. 801 01:00:27,391 --> 01:00:29,558 What would you have done if it had? 802 01:00:29,560 --> 01:00:31,627 I would have ducked. 803 01:00:36,667 --> 01:00:37,733 Perfect. 804 01:00:37,735 --> 01:00:40,202 Just right there. 805 01:00:47,945 --> 01:00:49,544 Well, cheers. 806 01:00:49,546 --> 01:00:50,646 Cheers. Cheers, Astrid. 807 01:00:54,351 --> 01:00:57,052 We've got some catching up to do. 808 01:00:57,054 --> 01:00:59,488 Claire tells me you're quite an artist. 809 01:00:59,490 --> 01:01:00,922 Not really. 810 01:01:00,924 --> 01:01:02,991 She's wonderful! 811 01:01:02,993 --> 01:01:04,559 In fact, we went to see Trish, 812 01:01:04,561 --> 01:01:05,694 and she's accepted Astrid 813 01:01:05,696 --> 01:01:07,362 for one of her watercolor classes. 814 01:01:07,364 --> 01:01:08,897 At the museum? Mm-hm. Yeah. 815 01:01:08,899 --> 01:01:10,465 She loves Astrid's work. 816 01:01:10,467 --> 01:01:13,969 You should show him! 817 01:01:19,943 --> 01:01:22,110 They're really, really beautiful. 818 01:01:22,112 --> 01:01:23,979 And she's never even studied. 819 01:01:23,981 --> 01:01:24,980 She's completely self-taught. 820 01:01:24,982 --> 01:01:26,648 Is that right? Mm-hm. 821 01:01:34,625 --> 01:01:35,691 Is she all right? 822 01:01:41,832 --> 01:01:43,832 INGRID: I know you're perfect. 823 01:01:43,834 --> 01:01:45,567 ASTRID: I'm not perfect. 824 01:01:45,569 --> 01:01:47,536 Of course you are. You're my daughter. 825 01:01:47,538 --> 01:01:48,970 Hey. 826 01:01:48,972 --> 01:01:50,939 Are you okay? 827 01:01:50,941 --> 01:01:54,042 Yeah. Just thinking. 828 01:01:58,348 --> 01:01:59,881 Are you getting my letters? 829 01:01:59,883 --> 01:02:01,783 Yes. 830 01:02:01,785 --> 01:02:03,618 I can never be sure. 831 01:02:03,620 --> 01:02:05,420 I get them. 832 01:02:08,892 --> 01:02:10,892 Why doesn't she have any children? 833 01:02:10,894 --> 01:02:13,695 She can't have them. 834 01:02:13,697 --> 01:02:17,466 You dress like her now. 835 01:02:21,171 --> 01:02:23,705 She takes me shopping. 836 01:02:26,043 --> 01:02:27,509 What's her husband like? 837 01:02:31,014 --> 01:02:32,647 He's nice. 838 01:02:32,649 --> 01:02:35,150 He's gone a lot. 839 01:02:35,152 --> 01:02:39,387 So you spend most of your time with Claire? 840 01:02:39,389 --> 01:02:42,758 Yeah. 841 01:02:44,795 --> 01:02:46,328 I'd like to meet her. 842 01:02:46,330 --> 01:02:48,296 Why? 843 01:02:48,298 --> 01:02:52,334 Because you don't want me to. 844 01:02:57,074 --> 01:02:59,474 Who did this belong to? 845 01:02:59,476 --> 01:03:05,347 That was my great aunt's, on my father's side. 846 01:03:05,349 --> 01:03:07,816 She was a field nurse at Ypres. 847 01:03:07,818 --> 01:03:09,618 Very, very brave woman. 848 01:03:09,620 --> 01:03:11,753 It's pretty, isn't it? 849 01:03:16,226 --> 01:03:17,826 And whose was this? 850 01:03:17,828 --> 01:03:19,194 It was my mother's. 851 01:03:19,196 --> 01:03:21,363 My father gave it to her. 852 01:03:21,365 --> 01:03:24,933 My parents were completely inseparable. 853 01:03:24,935 --> 01:03:27,669 Not at all like Mark and I. 854 01:03:30,240 --> 01:03:33,708 I hate it when he has to go away for so long. 855 01:03:33,710 --> 01:03:37,112 Why don't you go with him? 856 01:03:37,114 --> 01:03:39,548 He says it slows him down. 857 01:03:43,220 --> 01:03:46,988 I think it's because he's having an affair. 858 01:03:46,990 --> 01:03:49,124 He wouldn't have an affair. 859 01:03:49,126 --> 01:03:50,725 He loves you. 860 01:03:50,727 --> 01:03:54,229 Yeah, I know. 861 01:03:54,231 --> 01:03:57,766 If he did, I would never know about it. 862 01:03:57,768 --> 01:03:59,734 You're just being paranoid. 863 01:03:59,736 --> 01:04:02,838 Yeah, that's what he says. 864 01:04:02,840 --> 01:04:05,507 I "can be very negative." 865 01:04:19,089 --> 01:04:20,155 Should I put this here? 866 01:04:20,157 --> 01:04:21,690 Yeah, perfect. 867 01:04:21,692 --> 01:04:23,558 Everything ready inside? 868 01:04:31,134 --> 01:04:32,801 You're leaving tomorrow? 869 01:04:32,803 --> 01:04:34,870 Mm-hm. In the morning. 870 01:04:36,373 --> 01:04:40,141 I bet Claire would love to go with you. 871 01:04:40,143 --> 01:04:44,346 Coordinating our schedules is difficult. 872 01:04:44,348 --> 01:04:48,083 She's not working, she could fit into yours. 873 01:04:48,085 --> 01:04:50,318 What about you? 874 01:04:50,320 --> 01:04:53,521 Doesn't she need to be here for you? 875 01:04:53,523 --> 01:04:54,589 Yeah. 876 01:04:56,326 --> 01:04:59,861 How is she these days, when I'm gone? 877 01:04:59,863 --> 01:05:01,796 She okay? 878 01:05:01,798 --> 01:05:02,898 She's fine. 879 01:05:02,900 --> 01:05:04,466 Why do you ask? 880 01:05:04,468 --> 01:05:05,901 No reason. 881 01:05:27,357 --> 01:05:29,724 You're back early. 882 01:05:29,726 --> 01:05:33,795 How long has my mother been writing you? 883 01:05:33,797 --> 01:05:36,498 Oh... not long. 884 01:05:36,500 --> 01:05:39,167 We've only written to each other a couple of times. 885 01:05:39,169 --> 01:05:41,436 Why didn't you tell me? 886 01:05:41,438 --> 01:05:43,805 Because she asked me not to. 887 01:05:45,409 --> 01:05:48,810 She thought that you wouldn't like it. 888 01:05:51,882 --> 01:05:55,850 Her letter was so powerful. 889 01:05:55,852 --> 01:05:57,786 She's so strong. 890 01:05:59,356 --> 01:06:03,191 And God, she's talented. 891 01:06:05,929 --> 01:06:07,595 We'd like to meet. 892 01:06:10,133 --> 01:06:12,701 Whose idea was that? 893 01:06:12,703 --> 01:06:14,436 Mine. 894 01:06:14,438 --> 01:06:17,939 I bet. 895 01:06:20,243 --> 01:06:22,777 I really love your work. 896 01:06:22,779 --> 01:06:23,812 What have you seen? 897 01:06:23,814 --> 01:06:26,815 Astrid showed me the collages you sent her 898 01:06:26,817 --> 01:06:29,217 and some of your earlier work in the catalogues. 899 01:06:29,219 --> 01:06:32,387 Oh, I love the Polaroid installation. 900 01:06:32,389 --> 01:06:34,489 Oh, really? Yeah. 901 01:06:34,491 --> 01:06:35,290 Why? 902 01:06:35,292 --> 01:06:39,260 Um, I don't know... 903 01:06:39,262 --> 01:06:42,897 Well, because... 904 01:06:42,899 --> 01:06:44,766 Because it's great! 905 01:06:47,504 --> 01:06:49,804 I'm actually very visual myself. 906 01:06:49,806 --> 01:06:51,473 Kindred spirit. 907 01:06:53,543 --> 01:06:57,278 Must be difficult for you to work here. 908 01:06:57,280 --> 01:06:59,447 Oh, it is. 909 01:06:59,449 --> 01:07:02,050 I spend so much time fighting off sexual advances, 910 01:07:02,052 --> 01:07:03,985 I hardly have time to think. 911 01:07:06,857 --> 01:07:09,290 That was a joke. 912 01:07:09,292 --> 01:07:10,658 Oh. 913 01:07:12,896 --> 01:07:15,263 Jailbird humor is hard to get sometimes. 914 01:07:15,265 --> 01:07:16,798 Sorry. 915 01:07:18,035 --> 01:07:19,667 So... 916 01:07:19,669 --> 01:07:21,202 an actress? 917 01:07:21,204 --> 01:07:23,471 So glamorous! 918 01:07:23,473 --> 01:07:26,341 No. My career is a disaster. 919 01:07:26,343 --> 01:07:29,310 I think it's the process. 920 01:07:29,312 --> 01:07:32,180 It may be too painful for me. 921 01:07:32,182 --> 01:07:33,948 You're such a sensitive person. 922 01:07:33,950 --> 01:07:35,350 All that rejection. 923 01:07:35,352 --> 01:07:37,652 It's got to be hard on your self-esteem. 924 01:07:39,089 --> 01:07:40,955 I'm a typical Pisces. 925 01:07:40,957 --> 01:07:43,425 But that's why Astrid and I get on so well. 926 01:07:43,427 --> 01:07:46,494 Scorpio and Pisces understand each other. 927 01:07:46,496 --> 01:07:49,564 You're into astrology? 928 01:07:49,566 --> 01:07:50,765 She's not into astrology 929 01:07:50,767 --> 01:07:53,334 just because she knows our signs. 930 01:07:55,639 --> 01:08:00,108 Astrid and I used to understand each other... 931 01:08:00,110 --> 01:08:01,943 but she's become so secretive. 932 01:08:01,945 --> 01:08:04,479 Astrid isn't secretive at all! 933 01:08:04,481 --> 01:08:07,549 No, we talk about everything, all the time. 934 01:08:09,453 --> 01:08:12,420 We just love her. 935 01:08:12,422 --> 01:08:14,089 She's doing so well. 936 01:08:15,292 --> 01:08:17,525 She's on the honor roll, 937 01:08:17,527 --> 01:08:18,927 and we're just working 938 01:08:18,929 --> 01:08:21,863 to keep that old grade point average up. 939 01:08:21,865 --> 01:08:23,765 Why don't you put a pyramid over her desk? 940 01:08:23,767 --> 01:08:25,266 They say it improves memory. 941 01:08:25,268 --> 01:08:26,601 My memory is fine. 942 01:08:26,603 --> 01:08:30,138 Pyramid. I hadn't thought of that. 943 01:08:30,140 --> 01:08:32,540 I do practice Feng Shui, though. 944 01:08:32,542 --> 01:08:36,010 You never mentioned that in your letters. 945 01:08:36,012 --> 01:08:37,479 How about your husband? 946 01:08:37,481 --> 01:08:38,913 Is he into Feng Shui as well? 947 01:08:38,915 --> 01:08:43,284 No, he's into frequent flyer miles. 948 01:08:43,286 --> 01:08:47,288 He's gone half the time. 949 01:08:47,290 --> 01:08:49,757 That's not so bad, you know? 950 01:08:49,759 --> 01:08:51,993 And now that I have Astrid... 951 01:08:51,995 --> 01:08:58,099 She must be a great comfort to you, 952 01:08:58,101 --> 01:09:00,802 not being able to have children of your own. 953 01:09:02,038 --> 01:09:04,305 Yeah. 954 01:09:04,307 --> 01:09:06,107 She is. 955 01:09:09,913 --> 01:09:13,815 Would you mind letting us talk alone, sweetie? 956 01:09:16,153 --> 01:09:18,353 They're grown-up things. 957 01:09:18,355 --> 01:09:21,189 Don't we have to go? 958 01:09:21,191 --> 01:09:23,591 No, it's okay. 959 01:09:23,593 --> 01:09:25,727 We have time. 960 01:09:44,481 --> 01:09:47,215 Love humiliates you. 961 01:09:47,217 --> 01:09:49,817 Hatred cradles you. 962 01:09:49,819 --> 01:09:51,653 It's soothing. 963 01:09:54,591 --> 01:09:56,124 What did you say to her? 964 01:09:56,126 --> 01:10:00,728 She's having trouble with her husband. 965 01:10:00,730 --> 01:10:02,897 It's not you, is it? 966 01:10:02,899 --> 01:10:05,433 I know you have an attraction for older men. 967 01:10:05,435 --> 01:10:07,235 No, it's not me. 968 01:10:07,237 --> 01:10:08,770 You leave her alone. 969 01:10:08,772 --> 01:10:10,505 Oh, but it's such fun. 970 01:10:10,507 --> 01:10:12,740 Easy, but fun. 971 01:10:12,742 --> 01:10:14,509 And in my present situation, 972 01:10:14,511 --> 01:10:16,177 I have to get my fun where I can. 973 01:10:16,179 --> 01:10:21,416 God, how can you stand to live with poor Claire? 974 01:10:21,418 --> 01:10:23,518 Did you know there's an entire order 975 01:10:23,520 --> 01:10:25,453 called the Poor Claires? 976 01:10:25,455 --> 01:10:28,623 She is a genuinely nice person. 977 01:10:30,927 --> 01:10:32,794 You don't know what it's been like. 978 01:10:32,796 --> 01:10:36,130 If you love me, you'll help me. 979 01:10:36,132 --> 01:10:37,599 Help you? 980 01:10:40,036 --> 01:10:42,537 I would rather see you 981 01:10:42,539 --> 01:10:45,340 in the worst kind of foster hell 982 01:10:45,342 --> 01:10:46,874 than living with that woman. 983 01:10:46,876 --> 01:10:50,144 What can you possibly learn from her? 984 01:10:50,146 --> 01:10:52,480 How to pine artistically? 985 01:10:52,482 --> 01:10:55,216 27 names for tears? 986 01:11:00,123 --> 01:11:04,158 All I can say is... 987 01:11:04,160 --> 01:11:05,927 keep your bags packed. 988 01:11:09,733 --> 01:11:12,634 MARK: I feel like a stranger in my own goddamn house. 989 01:11:12,636 --> 01:11:14,235 I feel like you two live here, 990 01:11:14,237 --> 01:11:16,504 and I'm allowed to stay here once in a while. 991 01:11:16,506 --> 01:11:18,439 CLAIRE: Maybe if you gave a little bit! 992 01:11:18,441 --> 01:11:21,342 Again! "Why can't I give more? "Why can't I talk more?" 993 01:11:21,344 --> 01:11:22,710 "Why can't I be here more?" 994 01:11:22,712 --> 01:11:25,346 Because I work! Because I have a job. 995 01:11:25,348 --> 01:11:26,581 That's not fair. 996 01:11:26,583 --> 01:11:29,183 I give you everything that you ask for, 997 01:11:29,185 --> 01:11:31,452 and still it's not enough. 998 01:11:31,454 --> 01:11:34,188 No, not everything. Not everything. 999 01:11:34,190 --> 01:11:35,590 You promised, 1000 01:11:35,592 --> 01:11:38,793 if we got another kid, things would change. 1001 01:11:38,795 --> 01:11:40,862 Mark, I'm trying, you know I'm trying. 1002 01:11:40,864 --> 01:11:42,196 Trying is not good enough. 1003 01:11:42,198 --> 01:11:43,564 You are falling apart again. 1004 01:11:43,566 --> 01:11:45,066 We are right back to where we started. 1005 01:11:45,068 --> 01:11:46,734 Yes we are. It is not working out, 1006 01:11:46,736 --> 01:11:48,469 and I think we should send her back. 1007 01:11:48,471 --> 01:11:53,174 You can't just send her back. 1008 01:11:53,176 --> 01:11:55,043 Where's she going to go? 1009 01:11:55,045 --> 01:11:56,678 They'll find some place for her. 1010 01:11:56,680 --> 01:11:58,646 I can't believe it. You're just going to send her away? 1011 01:11:58,648 --> 01:12:00,615 You take everything away, don't you? 1012 01:12:00,617 --> 01:12:03,151 You just leave me here with nothing. 1013 01:12:03,153 --> 01:12:05,586 Jesus Christ, you are such a bad actress. 1014 01:12:05,588 --> 01:12:08,623 I really almost forgot. 1015 01:12:08,625 --> 01:12:12,327 Okay, okay. 1016 01:12:12,329 --> 01:12:15,330 I'll do what you say. I'll send her back. 1017 01:12:15,332 --> 01:12:17,365 Okay? We can try that. 1018 01:12:17,367 --> 01:12:18,633 Just don't go, okay? 1019 01:12:18,635 --> 01:12:19,967 Just don't leave me. 1020 01:12:19,969 --> 01:12:22,637 Unlike you, Claire, I work, remember? 1021 01:12:22,639 --> 01:12:25,640 Mm-hm. And... 1022 01:12:25,642 --> 01:12:28,943 is she going with you, your girlfriend? 1023 01:12:28,945 --> 01:12:31,379 I've had it with this, Claire. 1024 01:12:31,381 --> 01:12:33,181 I've really had it. 1025 01:12:39,055 --> 01:12:41,322 Astrid? 1026 01:12:59,676 --> 01:13:01,709 Astrid... 1027 01:13:07,083 --> 01:13:09,350 Astrid, please. 1028 01:13:26,569 --> 01:13:28,970 [KNOCKS] 1029 01:13:45,155 --> 01:13:46,854 Claire? 1030 01:13:48,858 --> 01:13:51,259 Are you awake? 1031 01:14:04,741 --> 01:14:06,741 I'm sorry. 1032 01:14:08,344 --> 01:14:09,777 Are you all right? 1033 01:14:11,581 --> 01:14:13,247 Yeah. 1034 01:14:14,651 --> 01:14:16,651 Take my advice. 1035 01:14:16,653 --> 01:14:20,221 Stay away from broken people. 1036 01:14:22,425 --> 01:14:24,058 You can't send me back. 1037 01:14:25,528 --> 01:14:27,462 He's not coming back, Astrid. 1038 01:14:29,833 --> 01:14:32,800 He's going to divorce me. 1039 01:14:32,802 --> 01:14:35,403 You know, Claire... 1040 01:14:35,405 --> 01:14:37,238 it wouldn't be the worst thing. 1041 01:14:44,080 --> 01:14:45,813 I'm cold. 1042 01:14:49,252 --> 01:14:51,719 Cold. 1043 01:14:51,721 --> 01:14:55,289 Get in here with me. 1044 01:14:55,291 --> 01:14:57,458 Come on. 1045 01:15:07,537 --> 01:15:09,437 Stay with me, okay? 1046 01:15:14,577 --> 01:15:17,478 Stay with me, please. 1047 01:15:31,394 --> 01:15:33,494 Claire... 1048 01:15:37,166 --> 01:15:39,500 Claire? 1049 01:15:52,815 --> 01:15:53,981 Claire! 1050 01:15:53,983 --> 01:15:58,452 Claire... Claire! 1051 01:15:58,454 --> 01:16:00,655 Claire, wake up! 1052 01:16:00,657 --> 01:16:03,524 Claire, please! 1053 01:16:05,662 --> 01:16:06,794 God! 1054 01:16:06,796 --> 01:16:09,130 No! 1055 01:16:14,470 --> 01:16:17,538 Claire, please! 1056 01:16:20,209 --> 01:16:22,076 No! 1057 01:16:43,600 --> 01:16:45,866 Astrid. 1058 01:17:10,693 --> 01:17:12,126 What is it? 1059 01:17:12,128 --> 01:17:14,595 I'm back in Mac. Didn't they tell you? 1060 01:17:14,597 --> 01:17:16,631 No. 1061 01:17:16,633 --> 01:17:19,066 Claire is dead. 1062 01:17:19,068 --> 01:17:20,501 She killed herself. 1063 01:17:20,503 --> 01:17:23,537 I'm sorry. 1064 01:17:23,539 --> 01:17:25,006 No, you're not. 1065 01:17:25,008 --> 01:17:29,343 You poisoned her, too, only this time you used words. 1066 01:17:29,345 --> 01:17:31,879 I told her what she already knew. 1067 01:17:31,881 --> 01:17:33,681 You were just jealous. 1068 01:17:33,683 --> 01:17:36,250 Of course I was jealous. 1069 01:17:36,252 --> 01:17:38,085 I live in a cell with a woman 1070 01:17:38,087 --> 01:17:41,522 who has a vocabulary of 25 words. 1071 01:17:44,093 --> 01:17:46,060 Why do you think they got you, Astrid? 1072 01:17:46,062 --> 01:17:48,162 To create a perfect little family? 1073 01:17:48,164 --> 01:17:50,197 People get babies for that. 1074 01:17:50,199 --> 01:17:52,800 Not teenagers recovering from bullet wounds. 1075 01:17:52,802 --> 01:17:54,335 You were on suicide watch. 1076 01:17:54,337 --> 01:17:56,504 And don't think this was the first time she tried it, either. 1077 01:17:56,506 --> 01:18:00,041 It's just the first time she pulled it off. 1078 01:18:00,043 --> 01:18:03,144 I'm not coming back. 1079 01:18:04,480 --> 01:18:06,514 I wanted to tell you that in person. 1080 01:18:06,516 --> 01:18:09,650 I'm going to leave you in here, alone. 1081 01:18:13,723 --> 01:18:16,524 I know you think I'm cruel. 1082 01:18:16,526 --> 01:18:18,492 I'm only trying to protect you from those people. 1083 01:18:18,494 --> 01:18:20,795 Those people are not the enemy, Mother. 1084 01:18:20,797 --> 01:18:21,996 We are. 1085 01:18:21,998 --> 01:18:23,364 You and me. 1086 01:18:23,366 --> 01:18:28,202 They don't hurt us. We hurt them. 1087 01:18:44,454 --> 01:18:46,687 You still ignoring me? 1088 01:18:52,495 --> 01:18:54,495 I turn 18 Saturday. 1089 01:18:54,497 --> 01:18:56,597 I'm going to New York. 1090 01:18:56,599 --> 01:18:58,999 I want you to come with me. 1091 01:18:59,001 --> 01:19:01,035 I can't. 1092 01:19:01,037 --> 01:19:03,704 Sure you can. Just leave. 1093 01:19:18,554 --> 01:19:20,721 Is it your mother? 1094 01:19:29,031 --> 01:19:30,664 Come on. 1095 01:19:30,666 --> 01:19:32,066 I'll get a job. 1096 01:19:32,068 --> 01:19:33,467 We'll find a place to live. 1097 01:19:33,469 --> 01:19:35,469 We'll be like we always talked about. 1098 01:19:35,471 --> 01:19:38,038 I don't want to go to New York. 1099 01:19:38,040 --> 01:19:41,342 I don't want to be with you. 1100 01:20:14,110 --> 01:20:15,509 She was with us for three years, 1101 01:20:15,511 --> 01:20:17,444 but her birth parents took her back. 1102 01:20:17,446 --> 01:20:19,513 We think you'd really like it with us, Astrid. 1103 01:20:19,515 --> 01:20:22,283 There are kids your age in our neighborhood. 1104 01:20:28,991 --> 01:20:30,691 Excuse me. 1105 01:20:34,664 --> 01:20:35,996 Don't worry about it. 1106 01:20:35,998 --> 01:20:39,867 She's had a very hard time recently. 1107 01:20:39,869 --> 01:20:42,803 Let me just talk to her, okay? 1108 01:20:48,945 --> 01:20:51,612 So, what's wrong this time? 1109 01:20:51,614 --> 01:20:54,348 I'm too old for them. 1110 01:20:58,354 --> 01:21:00,554 Look, the Greenways are great. 1111 01:21:00,556 --> 01:21:02,790 They've been doing this for years. 1112 01:21:02,792 --> 01:21:05,893 They've got a nice house with an extra bedroom for you. 1113 01:21:05,895 --> 01:21:07,761 They go to church. 1114 01:21:07,763 --> 01:21:09,864 Schools are good. 1115 01:21:09,866 --> 01:21:11,498 They don't smoke. 1116 01:21:12,835 --> 01:21:14,835 He makes his own beer. 1117 01:21:16,772 --> 01:21:18,572 I want her. 1118 01:21:20,176 --> 01:21:22,243 [MUMBLING IN RUSSIAN] 1119 01:21:29,285 --> 01:21:33,187 Workers of the world, arise. 1120 01:21:34,790 --> 01:21:36,523 You've got nothing to lose 1121 01:21:36,525 --> 01:21:41,862 but VISA card, Happy Meal, and Kotex with wings. 1122 01:21:44,200 --> 01:21:46,467 Christ, Thursday. 1123 01:21:55,344 --> 01:21:58,012 You, lazy bones. You want smoke? 1124 01:21:58,014 --> 01:22:00,314 I quit for the baby, Rena. 1125 01:22:00,316 --> 01:22:02,249 Why? You don't keep it, thank God. 1126 01:22:04,787 --> 01:22:07,621 You, cheerleader. You want smoke? 1127 01:22:07,623 --> 01:22:10,691 Russian cigarettes. No cancer. 1128 01:22:31,547 --> 01:22:32,680 Clothes. 1129 01:22:39,655 --> 01:22:42,856 Really nice. It was never worn. 1130 01:22:42,858 --> 01:22:44,725 What is this made of? 1131 01:22:44,727 --> 01:22:46,026 I don't know. 1132 01:22:46,028 --> 01:22:49,730 Why don't you just try it on and see how it looks? 1133 01:22:53,469 --> 01:22:55,002 Hey. 1134 01:22:55,004 --> 01:22:57,004 That's my dress. 1135 01:22:57,006 --> 01:22:58,272 These are all mine. 1136 01:22:58,274 --> 01:22:59,807 So? You get good price for them. 1137 01:22:59,809 --> 01:23:03,410 What do you need expensive clothes for, huh? 1138 01:23:03,412 --> 01:23:05,479 Maybe Melrose Place call you to be a star. 1139 01:23:05,481 --> 01:23:07,548 Someone gave them to me. 1140 01:23:07,550 --> 01:23:09,183 Even better. All profit. 1141 01:23:09,185 --> 01:23:10,517 That's why I love this country. 1142 01:23:10,519 --> 01:23:12,753 Because it loves money like I love money. 1143 01:23:12,755 --> 01:23:16,890 Hey. You make a price, I take 25%. 1144 01:23:16,892 --> 01:23:18,459 No. 1145 01:23:18,461 --> 01:23:20,894 What, you think you're going to sell it all by yourself 1146 01:23:20,896 --> 01:23:22,363 on the street corner? 1147 01:23:22,365 --> 01:23:26,033 I pay for stall, storage, gas. 1148 01:23:26,035 --> 01:23:27,501 They pay you, you pay me. 1149 01:23:27,503 --> 01:23:30,037 You still make profit. 1150 01:23:30,039 --> 01:23:34,308 Dead person who give you thing don't care. 1151 01:23:34,310 --> 01:23:36,343 The past is gone. 1152 01:23:36,345 --> 01:23:38,912 Sentimental is stupid. 1153 01:23:38,914 --> 01:23:40,848 It's smart to make money. 1154 01:23:42,218 --> 01:23:43,250 There's no price. 1155 01:23:43,252 --> 01:23:46,320 How about 20 dollars? 1156 01:23:46,322 --> 01:23:47,321 It's a Marc Jacobs dress. 1157 01:23:47,323 --> 01:23:48,989 It's only been worn once. 1158 01:23:48,991 --> 01:23:50,858 50? 1159 01:23:50,860 --> 01:23:52,693 100. 1160 01:23:56,665 --> 01:23:57,731 Thank you. 1161 01:24:02,471 --> 01:24:03,737 How was last night? 1162 01:24:03,739 --> 01:24:05,806 It was fun. 1163 01:24:05,808 --> 01:24:06,940 What did you do? 1164 01:24:06,942 --> 01:24:08,742 Watched TV. 1165 01:24:08,744 --> 01:24:13,814 You know who I saw? I saw Dan. 1166 01:24:13,816 --> 01:24:17,684 Don't you think Astrid would like him? 1167 01:24:17,686 --> 01:24:20,087 Astrid? 1168 01:24:20,089 --> 01:24:22,289 I'm Hannah. 1169 01:24:22,291 --> 01:24:24,825 This is Julie. 1170 01:24:24,827 --> 01:24:25,926 We went to your house, 1171 01:24:25,928 --> 01:24:28,796 but the Russian lady said you'd be here, so... 1172 01:24:28,798 --> 01:24:30,898 We visit your mother. 1173 01:24:30,900 --> 01:24:33,233 She's our project in Women's Studies. 1174 01:24:33,235 --> 01:24:36,370 What does she want? 1175 01:24:36,372 --> 01:24:38,172 Oh, no, she didn't send us. 1176 01:24:38,174 --> 01:24:40,774 We came on our own. 1177 01:24:40,776 --> 01:24:43,110 She asked us to mail you a copy of the interview. 1178 01:24:43,112 --> 01:24:44,578 Her show at Bergamot? 1179 01:24:44,580 --> 01:24:47,981 But then we thought that we could deliver it ourselves... 1180 01:24:47,983 --> 01:24:49,249 Is that it? 1181 01:24:49,251 --> 01:24:51,552 Yeah. 1182 01:24:58,394 --> 01:25:00,094 What do you talk about? 1183 01:25:00,096 --> 01:25:01,395 All kinds of things. 1184 01:25:01,397 --> 01:25:02,996 Art, music... 1185 01:25:02,998 --> 01:25:04,998 HANNAH: She talks about you. 1186 01:25:05,000 --> 01:25:06,467 Really? 1187 01:25:08,904 --> 01:25:10,537 What does she say? 1188 01:25:10,539 --> 01:25:13,006 That you're in a... 1189 01:25:13,008 --> 01:25:14,675 You know, fostered. 1190 01:25:17,513 --> 01:25:20,414 Look, she feels really terrible about what's happened. 1191 01:25:20,416 --> 01:25:23,484 So you thought you'd come out and what? 1192 01:25:23,486 --> 01:25:25,052 Adopt me? 1193 01:25:27,923 --> 01:25:30,557 You don't think she killed him, do you? 1194 01:25:32,294 --> 01:25:34,761 Something you should know. 1195 01:25:34,763 --> 01:25:36,029 She did. 1196 01:25:36,031 --> 01:25:37,431 I was there. 1197 01:25:40,369 --> 01:25:42,469 MAN: Oleander is poisonous. 1198 01:25:42,471 --> 01:25:44,104 I don't know why people grow it. 1199 01:25:44,106 --> 01:25:45,072 [POUNDING ON DOOR] 1200 01:25:45,074 --> 01:25:47,141 Open the door! 1201 01:25:49,278 --> 01:25:50,210 They can't keep me! 1202 01:25:50,212 --> 01:25:51,912 I'll be back in an hour! 1203 01:26:39,061 --> 01:26:41,495 Who is that? 1204 01:26:41,497 --> 01:26:43,497 I don't know. 1205 01:26:43,499 --> 01:26:44,698 You draw her all the time. 1206 01:26:44,700 --> 01:26:47,768 I think her name was Annie. 1207 01:26:47,770 --> 01:26:49,403 She's someone I remember. 1208 01:26:49,405 --> 01:26:51,772 I don't know who she was. 1209 01:26:55,411 --> 01:26:56,777 Check it out, you guys. 1210 01:26:59,048 --> 01:27:00,614 Rodeo Drive refugee. 1211 01:27:00,616 --> 01:27:03,116 Excuse me. Are you Rena Gruschenko? 1212 01:27:03,118 --> 01:27:04,451 Gruschenka. 1213 01:27:04,453 --> 01:27:06,853 If you come from I.N.S., I have a green card. 1214 01:27:06,855 --> 01:27:11,191 I've been all over this junkyard looking for you. 1215 01:27:13,195 --> 01:27:14,795 You must be Astrid. 1216 01:27:14,797 --> 01:27:17,564 I'm Susan Valeris, your mother's lawyer? 1217 01:27:21,270 --> 01:27:23,804 Cigarette? 1218 01:27:25,941 --> 01:27:28,408 Don't know why I never got around to quitting. 1219 01:27:28,410 --> 01:27:30,077 I do. All the prisoners smoke. 1220 01:27:30,079 --> 01:27:31,411 You can offer them one. 1221 01:27:31,413 --> 01:27:34,581 Your mother is very proud of you for not quitting school. 1222 01:27:34,583 --> 01:27:36,416 You graduate soon, don't you? 1223 01:27:36,418 --> 01:27:40,153 Are you making any plans for your future? 1224 01:27:40,155 --> 01:27:41,488 Yeah. 1225 01:27:41,490 --> 01:27:43,890 I thought I'd be a criminal lawyer. 1226 01:27:43,892 --> 01:27:45,559 Really? 1227 01:27:45,561 --> 01:27:47,127 Either that, or a hooker, 1228 01:27:47,129 --> 01:27:49,563 or a garbage collector. 1229 01:27:49,565 --> 01:27:51,698 Your mother said you'd be difficult. 1230 01:27:51,700 --> 01:27:54,101 Mother knows best. 1231 01:27:54,103 --> 01:27:57,938 I know you've been through a terrible ordeal. 1232 01:27:57,940 --> 01:28:00,173 Three foster homes in three years, 1233 01:28:00,175 --> 01:28:01,241 a shooting, 1234 01:28:01,243 --> 01:28:02,643 the suicide of a foster mother. 1235 01:28:02,645 --> 01:28:04,111 I understand you were very close. 1236 01:28:04,113 --> 01:28:07,447 Did you ask your client about her involvement with that? 1237 01:28:07,449 --> 01:28:08,982 You can't possibly blame her 1238 01:28:08,984 --> 01:28:11,551 for the death of a woman she only met once. 1239 01:28:11,553 --> 01:28:14,821 But I do blame her, Susan. 1240 01:28:14,823 --> 01:28:17,090 That's pretty cynical, Astrid. 1241 01:28:17,092 --> 01:28:21,128 You want me to lie for her in court, is that it? 1242 01:28:23,432 --> 01:28:24,998 Why do you hate her, Astrid? 1243 01:28:27,169 --> 01:28:29,970 Is it because you think she committed murder? 1244 01:28:29,972 --> 01:28:32,339 Or because you feel abandoned? 1245 01:28:32,341 --> 01:28:34,308 Talk to her. 1246 01:28:34,310 --> 01:28:35,609 People do change. 1247 01:28:37,613 --> 01:28:39,746 You should hear the way she talks about you. 1248 01:28:39,748 --> 01:28:43,116 She worries about you. 1249 01:28:43,118 --> 01:28:46,086 She asked me to find out if there's anything you need. 1250 01:28:46,088 --> 01:28:47,187 Money for college? 1251 01:28:47,189 --> 01:28:49,222 Car? 1252 01:28:49,224 --> 01:28:50,624 There's money behind her. 1253 01:28:50,626 --> 01:28:54,094 Just tell me what you want. 1254 01:29:25,794 --> 01:29:28,195 You are stupid girl. 1255 01:29:28,197 --> 01:29:33,734 You walk away from money to punish mother. 1256 01:29:33,736 --> 01:29:35,535 You want car? 1257 01:29:35,537 --> 01:29:38,638 You want art college? 1258 01:29:38,640 --> 01:29:40,073 All costs money. 1259 01:29:42,077 --> 01:29:44,678 You don't know anything about this, Rena, 1260 01:29:44,680 --> 01:29:47,180 so just stay out of it. 1261 01:29:51,553 --> 01:29:53,286 I have plan for you, anyway. 1262 01:29:53,288 --> 01:29:55,288 Oh, yeah? What's that? 1263 01:29:55,290 --> 01:29:56,923 Niki leave soon. 1264 01:29:56,925 --> 01:30:01,361 And Yvonne is stupid girl. 1265 01:30:01,363 --> 01:30:04,097 Making third baby. 1266 01:30:04,099 --> 01:30:05,699 Every time she look at the window 1267 01:30:05,701 --> 01:30:07,367 to see baby's face, 1268 01:30:07,369 --> 01:30:08,635 baby gone, 1269 01:30:08,637 --> 01:30:11,071 then she cries like it's a big surprise. 1270 01:30:13,776 --> 01:30:14,741 But you... 1271 01:30:14,743 --> 01:30:16,777 you're a special girl. 1272 01:30:20,182 --> 01:30:21,848 You stay... 1273 01:30:21,850 --> 01:30:23,116 I make you partner. 1274 01:30:23,118 --> 01:30:25,385 Stay here? 1275 01:30:25,387 --> 01:30:29,189 You got better place to go? 1276 01:30:36,331 --> 01:30:37,831 Then go see mother. 1277 01:30:38,767 --> 01:30:40,133 She needs something from you, 1278 01:30:40,135 --> 01:30:41,701 you need something from her. 1279 01:30:41,703 --> 01:30:43,837 Go get it. 1280 01:30:49,278 --> 01:30:51,144 Here she comes. 1281 01:30:59,755 --> 01:31:01,555 Astrid, my God. 1282 01:31:01,557 --> 01:31:02,756 What's wrong, Mom? 1283 01:31:02,758 --> 01:31:04,391 You don't like my outfit? 1284 01:31:07,229 --> 01:31:10,430 I'll leave you two alone for a while. 1285 01:31:22,778 --> 01:31:24,311 So what's the story? 1286 01:31:24,313 --> 01:31:27,881 We didn't go to Mexico to buy DMSO? 1287 01:31:27,883 --> 01:31:29,683 Barry beat you? 1288 01:31:29,685 --> 01:31:32,519 He raped me? 1289 01:31:32,521 --> 01:31:35,188 How bad does he have to be to get you out of jail? 1290 01:31:35,190 --> 01:31:37,324 I can't believe what's happened to you. 1291 01:31:37,326 --> 01:31:39,526 When I get out, I'll make it up to you. 1292 01:31:39,528 --> 01:31:41,528 Who said you're getting out? 1293 01:31:41,530 --> 01:31:43,663 I said I'd talk to you. 1294 01:31:43,665 --> 01:31:45,532 I didn't say I'd do it. 1295 01:31:45,534 --> 01:31:48,635 Then what do you want? 1296 01:31:48,637 --> 01:31:51,271 I have a deal to make. 1297 01:31:51,273 --> 01:31:53,673 A trade. 1298 01:31:53,675 --> 01:31:57,544 You tell me the truth... 1299 01:31:57,546 --> 01:31:59,379 I'll lie for you in court. 1300 01:32:00,816 --> 01:32:02,749 The truth about what? 1301 01:32:02,751 --> 01:32:05,418 Everything you kept from me. 1302 01:32:05,420 --> 01:32:07,087 And if I don't? 1303 01:32:07,089 --> 01:32:08,822 Then you can rot in here. 1304 01:32:10,192 --> 01:32:11,958 I hate this look, by the way. 1305 01:32:12,961 --> 01:32:16,963 You're a Sunset Boulevard motel, 1306 01:32:16,965 --> 01:32:19,099 a $20 hooker in the back of a car. 1307 01:32:23,405 --> 01:32:24,971 Why did you murder Barry? 1308 01:32:27,743 --> 01:32:29,776 If I submit to this, you'll testify? 1309 01:32:29,778 --> 01:32:32,913 Yes. 1310 01:32:35,250 --> 01:32:39,052 Self-defense. He was killing me. 1311 01:32:39,054 --> 01:32:41,454 Claire didn't do anything to you. 1312 01:32:41,456 --> 01:32:42,856 Why did you go after her? 1313 01:32:42,858 --> 01:32:44,991 Claire went after herself. 1314 01:32:44,993 --> 01:32:48,428 I just showed her how to do it. 1315 01:32:50,732 --> 01:32:52,999 Who was my father? 1316 01:32:55,170 --> 01:32:57,470 Your father? Why do you always ask that? 1317 01:32:57,472 --> 01:32:58,972 It's ancient history. 1318 01:32:58,974 --> 01:33:01,207 It's my ancient history. Who was he? 1319 01:33:01,209 --> 01:33:04,878 His name was Klaus Anders. 1320 01:33:04,880 --> 01:33:06,479 What did he do? 1321 01:33:06,481 --> 01:33:09,416 He was an artist. 1322 01:33:09,418 --> 01:33:11,885 How did you meet? 1323 01:33:11,887 --> 01:33:14,854 At Venice Beach at a party. 1324 01:33:14,856 --> 01:33:16,723 He had the drugs. 1325 01:33:16,725 --> 01:33:19,726 Did you love him? 1326 01:33:19,728 --> 01:33:22,495 It was a long time ago. 1327 01:33:22,497 --> 01:33:24,431 I'm not the same person. 1328 01:33:24,433 --> 01:33:27,500 Liar. You're exactly the same. 1329 01:33:27,502 --> 01:33:29,369 Answer the question. 1330 01:33:29,371 --> 01:33:30,904 You're such a child. 1331 01:33:30,906 --> 01:33:32,906 You've taken my propaganda for truth. 1332 01:33:32,908 --> 01:33:34,741 So set me straight. 1333 01:33:34,743 --> 01:33:36,176 Did you love him? 1334 01:33:39,781 --> 01:33:42,182 We had a very sexual relationship. 1335 01:33:42,184 --> 01:33:44,050 One overlooks many things. 1336 01:33:44,052 --> 01:33:45,251 You worshipped him. 1337 01:33:45,253 --> 01:33:46,753 I read it in your journal. 1338 01:33:46,755 --> 01:33:47,921 "Worship" isn't exactly 1339 01:33:47,923 --> 01:33:52,392 the word we're looking for here. 1340 01:33:52,394 --> 01:33:53,460 Who was Annie? 1341 01:33:55,397 --> 01:33:56,663 What? 1342 01:33:56,665 --> 01:33:58,465 Who was Annie, Mother? 1343 01:34:04,206 --> 01:34:05,939 She was a neighbor who took in kids, 1344 01:34:05,941 --> 01:34:07,507 did people's laundry. 1345 01:34:07,509 --> 01:34:10,677 What did she look like? 1346 01:34:10,679 --> 01:34:15,148 Dark, curly hair, freckles. 1347 01:34:15,150 --> 01:34:18,418 Did she take care of me? 1348 01:34:25,927 --> 01:34:28,495 How could you possibly have remembered this? 1349 01:34:35,971 --> 01:34:37,671 It will only hurt you. 1350 01:34:43,912 --> 01:34:47,113 Imagine my life for a moment... 1351 01:34:47,115 --> 01:34:49,115 how unprepared I was 1352 01:34:49,117 --> 01:34:53,253 to be the mother of a small child. 1353 01:34:53,255 --> 01:34:55,822 I was used to having time to think, 1354 01:34:55,824 --> 01:34:58,124 and you just wanted, wanted, wanted. 1355 01:35:00,996 --> 01:35:03,463 I felt like a hostage. 1356 01:35:03,465 --> 01:35:05,699 Can you understand how desperate I was? 1357 01:35:20,682 --> 01:35:24,017 I dropped you off at her house one afternoon 1358 01:35:24,019 --> 01:35:29,189 to go to the beach with some friends. 1359 01:35:29,191 --> 01:35:33,293 And one thing led to another. 1360 01:35:33,295 --> 01:35:35,895 They had a place in Ensenada. 1361 01:35:35,897 --> 01:35:39,032 It was wonderful. 1362 01:35:39,034 --> 01:35:40,900 You can't imagine... 1363 01:35:40,902 --> 01:35:44,904 To take a nap in the afternoon... 1364 01:35:44,906 --> 01:35:48,241 to make love all day if I wanted 1365 01:35:48,243 --> 01:35:50,076 and not have to think, "What's Astrid doing? 1366 01:35:50,078 --> 01:35:51,544 Where's Astrid?" 1367 01:35:51,546 --> 01:35:54,147 "Mommy, Mommy, Mommy," clinging to me like a spider. 1368 01:35:54,149 --> 01:35:57,150 At the end of it, 1369 01:35:57,152 --> 01:36:00,720 I just wanted to throw you against a wall. 1370 01:36:05,694 --> 01:36:09,596 How long were you gone? 1371 01:36:10,999 --> 01:36:13,266 About a year. 1372 01:36:13,268 --> 01:36:15,268 Give or take a few months. 1373 01:36:17,272 --> 01:36:18,471 My God. 1374 01:36:18,473 --> 01:36:20,607 But you're not asking the right question. 1375 01:36:20,609 --> 01:36:23,543 Don't ask me why I left. 1376 01:36:23,545 --> 01:36:25,945 Ask me why I came back. 1377 01:36:25,947 --> 01:36:27,680 You should have been sterilized. 1378 01:36:27,682 --> 01:36:29,082 I could have left you there, 1379 01:36:29,084 --> 01:36:30,283 but I didn't. 1380 01:36:30,285 --> 01:36:32,685 Don't you understand? 1381 01:36:32,687 --> 01:36:37,090 For once, I did the right thing. 1382 01:36:37,092 --> 01:36:38,892 When I came back, you knew me. 1383 01:36:38,894 --> 01:36:41,227 You were sitting by the door, 1384 01:36:41,229 --> 01:36:43,096 and you looked up... 1385 01:36:43,098 --> 01:36:44,764 and you reached for me. 1386 01:36:44,766 --> 01:36:48,968 It was as if you had been waiting for me all along. 1387 01:36:48,970 --> 01:36:50,570 I was always waiting for you, Mother. 1388 01:36:50,572 --> 01:36:54,574 That's the constant in my life. Waiting for you. 1389 01:36:54,576 --> 01:36:55,842 Will you come back? 1390 01:36:55,844 --> 01:36:58,845 Will you forget you tied me up in front of the store 1391 01:36:58,847 --> 01:37:00,847 or left me on a bus? 1392 01:37:00,849 --> 01:37:02,081 Are you still waiting? 1393 01:37:02,083 --> 01:37:04,384 No. 1394 01:37:04,386 --> 01:37:08,121 I stopped when Claire showed me what it felt like to be loved. 1395 01:37:08,123 --> 01:37:11,090 What did you think? 1396 01:37:11,092 --> 01:37:12,659 That I would amuse you? 1397 01:37:12,661 --> 01:37:15,261 That's what babies are like, Mother. 1398 01:37:15,263 --> 01:37:16,696 What did you think? 1399 01:37:16,698 --> 01:37:18,464 That we'd exchange thoughts on Joseph Brodsky? 1400 01:37:18,466 --> 01:37:21,267 I thought Klaus and I would live happily ever after. 1401 01:37:21,269 --> 01:37:24,103 Adam and Eve in a vine-covered shack. 1402 01:37:24,105 --> 01:37:25,839 I must have been out of my mind. 1403 01:37:25,841 --> 01:37:27,140 You were in love with him. 1404 01:37:27,142 --> 01:37:28,975 Yes, I was in love with him, all right? 1405 01:37:28,977 --> 01:37:30,243 I was in love with him, 1406 01:37:30,245 --> 01:37:32,378 "baby makes three" and all that crap. 1407 01:37:32,380 --> 01:37:34,414 Then why did you leave him? 1408 01:37:35,483 --> 01:37:37,817 Why did you leave him? I didn't leave him. 1409 01:37:37,819 --> 01:37:39,853 He left me. 1410 01:37:43,024 --> 01:37:45,158 You want to know about your father? 1411 01:37:45,160 --> 01:37:47,160 He left us when you were six months old 1412 01:37:47,162 --> 01:37:48,294 for another woman. 1413 01:37:48,296 --> 01:37:49,963 I never saw him again 1414 01:37:49,965 --> 01:37:51,698 until he showed up looking for you 1415 01:37:51,700 --> 01:37:54,167 when you were 8 years old. 1416 01:37:54,169 --> 01:37:55,235 He came to see me? 1417 01:37:55,237 --> 01:37:56,502 Yes, he came to see you, 1418 01:37:56,504 --> 01:37:59,305 but it was a little late, wasn't it? 1419 01:37:59,307 --> 01:38:01,975 Why should I let him see you after what he did to me? 1420 01:38:01,977 --> 01:38:04,244 Because it wasn't about you! 1421 01:38:04,246 --> 01:38:06,579 It was about me, and I wanted to see him! 1422 01:38:06,581 --> 01:38:09,382 My whole life, I've wanted to see him. 1423 01:38:09,384 --> 01:38:11,451 That decision was mine, not yours! 1424 01:38:11,453 --> 01:38:15,555 Everything has always been about you, never about me. 1425 01:38:15,557 --> 01:38:19,425 I knew you were going to kill Barry, 1426 01:38:19,427 --> 01:38:21,461 but you didn't even care. 1427 01:38:21,463 --> 01:38:25,598 You didn't give a damn about what that would do to me. 1428 01:38:25,600 --> 01:38:28,134 I'll say whatever Susan wants me to say, 1429 01:38:28,136 --> 01:38:30,169 but I've got to get out of here. 1430 01:38:30,171 --> 01:38:32,205 No. You don't just walk away from me. 1431 01:38:32,207 --> 01:38:33,273 I made you. 1432 01:38:33,275 --> 01:38:35,541 I'm in your blood. 1433 01:38:35,543 --> 01:38:38,077 You don't go anywhere until I let you go. 1434 01:38:38,079 --> 01:38:40,880 Then let me go. 1435 01:38:46,755 --> 01:38:48,955 You look at me... 1436 01:38:48,957 --> 01:38:52,492 and you don't like what you see. 1437 01:38:52,494 --> 01:38:57,297 But this is the price, Mother. The price of belonging to you. 1438 01:38:57,299 --> 01:39:01,834 If I could, I'd take it all back. 1439 01:39:01,836 --> 01:39:03,336 I would. 1440 01:39:06,474 --> 01:39:08,908 Then tell me you don't want me to testify. 1441 01:39:11,112 --> 01:39:13,446 Tell me you don't want me like this. 1442 01:39:18,920 --> 01:39:21,487 Tell me you would sacrifice the rest of your life 1443 01:39:21,489 --> 01:39:25,925 to have me back the way I was. 1444 01:39:37,572 --> 01:39:40,273 Listen, forget it. A deal's a deal. 1445 01:39:40,275 --> 01:39:44,210 Let's leave it at that. 1446 01:40:06,735 --> 01:40:07,834 Excuse me. 1447 01:40:07,836 --> 01:40:09,702 It's probably a waste of time, but... 1448 01:40:09,704 --> 01:40:12,772 I'm looking for someone who used to come in here? 1449 01:40:12,774 --> 01:40:14,907 His name is Paul Trout. 1450 01:40:14,909 --> 01:40:15,908 You Astrid? 1451 01:40:15,910 --> 01:40:16,976 Yeah. 1452 01:40:27,355 --> 01:40:30,423 He said you'd turn up. 1453 01:40:33,895 --> 01:40:35,862 Thanks. 1454 01:41:57,412 --> 01:42:00,079 [DOOR OPENING] 1455 01:42:03,918 --> 01:42:06,085 What's going on? 1456 01:42:06,087 --> 01:42:08,121 I don't know. 1457 01:42:14,496 --> 01:42:16,262 Excuse me. Is it a recess? 1458 01:42:16,264 --> 01:42:19,365 No. Jury's out. 1459 01:42:32,847 --> 01:42:35,081 Don't you need me to testify? 1460 01:42:35,083 --> 01:42:39,552 Your mother told me to leave you alone. 1461 01:43:31,306 --> 01:43:33,139 What happened? 1462 01:43:36,244 --> 01:43:38,177 She let me go. 1463 01:43:56,297 --> 01:43:58,798 ASTRID: Two years after Paul and I moved to New York, 1464 01:43:58,800 --> 01:44:02,001 I received a letter from my mother. 1465 01:44:02,003 --> 01:44:06,138 In it was a copy of the Los Angeles Times Magazine, 1466 01:44:06,140 --> 01:44:08,808 my mother on the cover. 1467 01:44:08,810 --> 01:44:10,810 A Santa Monica gallery 1468 01:44:10,812 --> 01:44:12,878 had mounted a showing of her work. 1469 01:44:12,880 --> 01:44:14,580 The Times included 1470 01:44:14,582 --> 01:44:16,082 seven pages 1471 01:44:16,084 --> 01:44:20,553 of her hauntingly distant prison collages. 1472 01:44:20,555 --> 01:44:23,155 She stares out from the cover... 1473 01:44:23,157 --> 01:44:27,126 the bars of her cell behind her. 1474 01:44:27,128 --> 01:44:29,095 Beautiful. 1475 01:44:29,097 --> 01:44:31,297 Dangerous. 1476 01:44:31,299 --> 01:44:34,433 Proud. 1477 01:44:34,435 --> 01:44:36,135 The Times said her lawyer 1478 01:44:36,137 --> 01:44:39,905 was close to winning a retrial after a first failed appeal. 1479 01:44:39,907 --> 01:44:43,242 They called her show a triumph. 1480 01:44:46,981 --> 01:44:48,581 It's too much 1481 01:44:48,583 --> 01:44:50,249 to imagine her tempering her joy 1482 01:44:50,251 --> 01:44:52,285 with a moment of grief... 1483 01:44:52,287 --> 01:44:57,256 a moment for what that triumph had cost. 1484 01:44:57,258 --> 01:45:01,260 These suitcases are a map of that country... 1485 01:45:01,262 --> 01:45:04,563 a terrible country I will never revisit. 1486 01:45:09,304 --> 01:45:14,640 Even so, I find myself thinking of her, 1487 01:45:16,477 --> 01:45:18,678 wanting to feel that wind. 1488 01:45:21,482 --> 01:45:24,150 It's a secret wanting... 1489 01:45:24,152 --> 01:45:27,219 like a song I can't stop humming, 1490 01:45:27,221 --> 01:45:30,222 or loving someone you can never have. 1491 01:45:34,929 --> 01:45:37,763 No matter how much she's damaged me... 1492 01:45:39,801 --> 01:45:43,769 no matter how flawed she is... 1493 01:45:43,771 --> 01:45:46,305 I know my mother loves me. 1494 01:45:52,146 --> 01:45:54,780 ♪ [SHERYL CROW'S ♪ ♪ "SAFE AND SOUND" PLAYING] ♪