1
00:00:09,640 --> 00:00:12,120
I'm Taylor Fisher and I'm a bitch.
2
00:00:13,480 --> 00:00:18,327
Beauty, intelligence, talent,
charisma, Hoobastank.
3
00:00:18,760 --> 00:00:20,364
What? They're good.
4
00:00:21,440 --> 00:00:23,010
Indie rock trends do move fast.
5
00:00:23,200 --> 00:00:24,964
Today, my alarm is set
to the Drunges.
6
00:00:27,600 --> 00:00:29,409
But by the time
you actually watch this...
7
00:00:29,600 --> 00:00:32,251
...they'll be headlining a toilet
in Toledo with mops.
8
00:00:32,440 --> 00:00:33,930
Hey, bitch, that's not cool.
9
00:00:34,240 --> 00:00:35,605
Eat cock!
10
00:00:40,720 --> 00:00:43,451
Hello, Taylor.
It's Don. Don Waters, again.
11
00:00:43,640 --> 00:00:46,325
We made out behind the Pizza Pitt.
You tasted the deep dish.
12
00:00:46,520 --> 00:00:48,249
Not deep enough.
13
00:00:49,160 --> 00:00:50,286
Get out of the bathroom.
14
00:00:50,480 --> 00:00:54,280
You're ruining my life, you **** ****
**** **** fucking Ecstasy
15
00:00:54,480 --> 00:00:57,450
- I'm peeing.
- Taylor, hi, Singe Gupta.
16
00:00:57,680 --> 00:00:59,887
I very much liked our calculus date
at Pizza Pitt.
17
00:01:00,080 --> 00:01:04,210
Loser. Your parabolic graph was bent
and I only got a B.
18
00:01:05,640 --> 00:01:06,971
French toast?
19
00:01:07,160 --> 00:01:09,049
Mom, I'm on a no-bread diet.
20
00:01:09,280 --> 00:01:11,009
- Since when?
- Since now!
21
00:01:11,200 --> 00:01:14,044
Oh, I hate you! I hope you die!
22
00:01:15,720 --> 00:01:17,643
Taylor, what we did at Pizza Pitt...
23
00:01:17,840 --> 00:01:20,127
Word of advice,
there's always new toothpaste.
24
00:01:20,320 --> 00:01:22,402
Don't swallow. Spit.
25
00:01:28,200 --> 00:01:31,488
Cinderhella II: Beauty Scream opened
this week at the Galaxy Pines Mall.
26
00:01:31,680 --> 00:01:34,684
If you're anyone who's anyone
in Grizzly Lake, you'll go see it.
27
00:01:34,880 --> 00:01:36,609
Moscow Hyatt is my idol.
28
00:01:36,800 --> 00:01:39,201
This brings me to something I call:
29
00:01:40,000 --> 00:01:43,368
Taylor Fisher's Guide
to Not Being a Total Reject.
30
00:01:43,560 --> 00:01:46,530
One, go see Cinderhella II
on Friday night, loser.
31
00:01:46,720 --> 00:01:48,927
Taylor, honey, I'm leaving.
Hurry or we'll be late.
32
00:01:49,120 --> 00:01:51,248
Mom, I'm doing something important!
33
00:01:51,440 --> 00:01:53,044
You're a monster!
34
00:01:53,240 --> 00:01:54,241
I'll be in the car.
35
00:01:54,440 --> 00:01:56,488
Fuck a duck!
36
00:01:57,160 --> 00:01:59,686
Let me montage this
to speed things up.
37
00:02:26,440 --> 00:02:27,407
What now?
38
00:02:28,400 --> 00:02:29,765
Love Pizza Pitt.
39
00:02:29,960 --> 00:02:30,961
Who are you?
40
00:02:31,160 --> 00:02:33,003
Your biggest fan.
41
00:02:33,200 --> 00:02:34,167
Rad.
42
00:02:34,360 --> 00:02:36,966
Bitch, going to kill you.
43
00:02:37,160 --> 00:02:38,889
-Okay.
-Okay....
44
00:02:39,080 --> 00:02:41,208
Stalkers are so 2011.
45
00:02:41,400 --> 00:02:44,165
Get out of my room, you paedophile!
46
00:02:55,600 --> 00:02:57,204
Where is she?
47
00:02:57,760 --> 00:02:59,524
The girl gets away with everything.
48
00:03:17,640 --> 00:03:18,880
Life sucks.
49
00:03:25,880 --> 00:03:29,566
Nice. That's just awesome.
50
00:03:31,200 --> 00:03:33,601
I try to remember
I'm only the second-biggest loser...
51
00:03:33,800 --> 00:03:35,040
...to walk Grizzly Lake High.
52
00:03:35,240 --> 00:03:39,290
First place goes to the drunk slut who
screwed the dead mascot in 1992.
53
00:03:41,960 --> 00:03:45,282
But the '90s are history. So am I.
54
00:04:02,560 --> 00:04:03,891
Oh, my God, I love this song.
55
00:04:06,760 --> 00:04:08,330
Shit!
56
00:04:11,600 --> 00:04:13,807
No. "Oh no, no.
57
00:04:16,800 --> 00:04:18,165
Shit.
58
00:04:21,600 --> 00:04:24,490
This is the fifth sighting of
mysterious objects over Grizzly Lake.
59
00:04:26,200 --> 00:04:29,124
Authorities speculate an elaborate
hoax perpetuated by high-school...
60
00:04:29,320 --> 00:04:32,369
Dad, I forgot the bus leaves early
on Wednesdays. Can you drive me?
61
00:04:32,560 --> 00:04:33,971
Sure, hon.
62
00:04:34,880 --> 00:04:37,565
Nope, still drunk.
63
00:04:52,720 --> 00:04:54,290
Yo, Heather Mills.
64
00:04:54,480 --> 00:04:57,689
You're robbing me?
I didn't even know Iceland had crime.
65
00:04:57,880 --> 00:04:59,962
Stop generalising. I stole this shirt.
66
00:05:00,160 --> 00:05:02,527
- And the leather shoes?
- Vegetarian?
67
00:05:02,720 --> 00:05:05,769
"Vegetarianism is the taproot
of humanitarianism." Tolstoy.
68
00:05:05,960 --> 00:05:08,201
Give me your iPod, salad eater.
69
00:05:10,600 --> 00:05:13,285
- It's a fucking shuffle.
- I make 6.55 an hour.
70
00:05:13,480 --> 00:05:15,881
Yeah. Thanks, anyway.
71
00:05:16,080 --> 00:05:18,003
I'm too old for this shit.
72
00:05:18,520 --> 00:05:21,444
It's not my fault majoring
in Inuit Literature and Hipster Rock...
73
00:05:21,640 --> 00:05:25,087
...doesn't replenish your trust fund.
- I listen to Aerosmith.
74
00:06:06,160 --> 00:06:08,242
- Hey, Clapton.
- Hey, Clapton.
75
00:06:08,760 --> 00:06:11,047
- Hey.
- Go left.
76
00:06:11,800 --> 00:06:15,043
Where is Clapton Davis?
77
00:06:31,080 --> 00:06:32,161
Other way.
78
00:06:44,040 --> 00:06:46,805
Who gave Riley the permission
to have the hots for Clapton?
79
00:06:47,000 --> 00:06:49,571
Did falling off the ugly tree
knock a dream into her head?
80
00:06:49,960 --> 00:06:54,841
Why doom a win like Clapton Davis
to a life of missionary sex?
81
00:07:03,520 --> 00:07:04,760
Nice save, Truman.
82
00:07:04,960 --> 00:07:06,883
Think you can hook me up
with Alexis at prom?
83
00:07:07,080 --> 00:07:08,650
Yeah, no problem!
84
00:07:13,880 --> 00:07:16,850
This bear's been deceased
since the Nixon Administration...
85
00:07:17,040 --> 00:07:19,566
...yet exerts
an extraordinary magnetic field.
86
00:07:22,720 --> 00:07:26,406
Toshiba, you're either the smartest kid
in school or the weirdest.
87
00:07:26,600 --> 00:07:28,887
Mimi, wait. Wait, Mimi. No.
88
00:07:29,080 --> 00:07:30,923
I know it looks like
such a light-hearted...
89
00:07:31,120 --> 00:07:33,930
...feel-good comedy
being an expecting teenage mom.
90
00:07:34,120 --> 00:07:38,170
Let me tell you something. I've been
principal at this school for five years.
91
00:07:38,360 --> 00:07:41,011
Let me tell both of you something.
92
00:07:42,000 --> 00:07:45,482
Pregnant teenagers
are never funny. Ever.
93
00:07:46,520 --> 00:07:47,885
I'm not pregnant.
94
00:07:49,080 --> 00:07:50,047
Cut the carbs.
95
00:07:51,400 --> 00:07:52,640
Attention, Grizzly Lake High.
96
00:07:54,000 --> 00:07:55,923
- Hey, Kayla.
- Hey, Vicky.
97
00:07:56,120 --> 00:07:57,121
Skank ho.
98
00:07:57,320 --> 00:08:00,608
Your vote for prom king and queen
is now due.
99
00:08:01,320 --> 00:08:05,166
Winners win a Pizza Pitt coupon.
Go Grizzly.
100
00:08:05,360 --> 00:08:10,571
Tomorrow, the Grizzly Lake Bears will
play the Town Creek Beavers at pub.
101
00:08:10,760 --> 00:08:12,171
Hey, Clapton.
102
00:08:16,200 --> 00:08:18,521
lone, did you tell Billy about us?
103
00:08:19,600 --> 00:08:23,321
Clapton, the small guy always beats
the invincible killing machine.
104
00:08:23,520 --> 00:08:25,045
You're my Pat Morita.
105
00:08:25,240 --> 00:08:26,890
Isn't he dead?
106
00:08:27,400 --> 00:08:28,561
Duck.
107
00:08:34,560 --> 00:08:36,289
Verge.
108
00:08:37,520 --> 00:08:39,329
Get a life, punk.
109
00:08:39,520 --> 00:08:40,965
This is ugly.
110
00:08:57,960 --> 00:09:00,611
Three o'clock. Parking lot.
111
00:09:00,800 --> 00:09:04,168
Winner wins lone. Loser wins...
112
00:09:04,440 --> 00:09:06,727
-Ione?
- Shut up!
113
00:09:06,920 --> 00:09:11,323
Just make sure your dumb ass
is there, dumb-ass!
114
00:09:20,200 --> 00:09:23,170
Really, Clapton? If you're gonna get
your limbs ripped off...
115
00:09:23,360 --> 00:09:25,203
...find a more worthy charity
than lone.
116
00:09:25,480 --> 00:09:26,845
Lone likes Sting.
117
00:09:27,040 --> 00:09:30,044
Clapton Davis,
you are more concept than reality.
118
00:09:36,400 --> 00:09:39,404
I just mean that it looks like
Clapton's gonna ask out lone...
119
00:09:39,600 --> 00:09:42,809
...which makes about as much sense
as that stupid movie Torque.
120
00:09:43,000 --> 00:09:44,809
So, what do you think
about you and me?
121
00:09:45,000 --> 00:09:47,128
Have you even thought about prom?
122
00:09:47,320 --> 00:09:50,085
Hey, Sander. I saw your dad's dick
on Chat roulette last night.
123
00:09:50,280 --> 00:09:51,884
Yes, Sander, I'm a girl.
124
00:09:52,080 --> 00:09:54,651
Forget about genocide,
poverty and political corruption.
125
00:09:54,840 --> 00:09:57,366
What could possibly be on
my girl mind other than prom?
126
00:09:57,560 --> 00:09:58,891
Totally right, lone.
127
00:09:59,080 --> 00:10:02,607
- Sting is the Bruno Mars of 1992.
- You're so funny.
128
00:10:02,800 --> 00:10:05,804
- Why do you think I'd go with him?
- No reason.
129
00:10:06,160 --> 00:10:10,324
Have you ever noticed that
we have compatible facial features?
130
00:10:11,640 --> 00:10:15,042
Riley, don't delay the inevitable.
131
00:10:15,520 --> 00:10:17,966
You know in three days,
we're gonna be prom dates...
132
00:10:18,160 --> 00:10:20,242
...and the sex and shame
will be fleeting.
133
00:10:20,440 --> 00:10:21,885
Look, get off my nuts, all right?
134
00:10:22,440 --> 00:10:25,046
Hey, Riley, I don't wanna hear
about your testicles.
135
00:10:25,240 --> 00:10:27,607
The assignment is simple.
You're a smart girl.
136
00:10:27,800 --> 00:10:30,883
Use what you've learned this semester
about quantum physics...
137
00:10:31,080 --> 00:10:34,209
...and build me a time machine
so I can get out of here.
138
00:10:37,360 --> 00:10:40,330
- So hot.
- Sander, we have to finish this.
139
00:10:40,520 --> 00:10:42,204
Then stop messing
with that bear claw.
140
00:10:42,400 --> 00:10:44,129
I took it from the mascot. Strange.
141
00:10:44,320 --> 00:10:46,891
Someone wired this with organic,
super-conduction Mimis----
142
00:10:47,080 --> 00:10:48,969
- MagMimis-- Magnets.
- God.
143
00:10:49,160 --> 00:10:51,447
Come on.
Toshiba, I mean, look at Clapton's.
144
00:10:52,280 --> 00:10:55,648
It's got a clock-looking thing, okay?
I wanna pass this course.
145
00:10:55,840 --> 00:10:59,003
Then do something. If I fail science,
I'm stuck with you next year...
146
00:10:59,200 --> 00:11:01,202
...in the Remedial History
of the Jelly Bean.
147
00:11:01,400 --> 00:11:03,209
- I love jelly beans.
- Slacker.
148
00:11:04,840 --> 00:11:07,047
That's hilarious. What is it?
149
00:11:07,240 --> 00:11:09,527
I don't know. It looks like a bong.
150
00:11:15,440 --> 00:11:17,124
Well, Clapton...
151
00:11:17,760 --> 00:11:19,205
...I'm wet.
152
00:11:42,920 --> 00:11:44,490
I get it.
153
00:11:44,760 --> 00:11:47,684
Listening to your loud music.
Tripping out to Fraggle Rock.
154
00:11:47,880 --> 00:11:51,885
But the question is,
what does the future hold...
155
00:11:52,080 --> 00:11:54,242
...for Clapton Davis?
156
00:11:54,440 --> 00:11:57,125
Well, I am starting
my own music site.
157
00:11:57,680 --> 00:11:59,569
It'll list new releases
and review albums...
158
00:11:59,760 --> 00:12:01,444
...from bands
that nobody has heard of.
159
00:12:01,640 --> 00:12:04,291
If they have, I'll dismiss them
with scathing comparisons...
160
00:12:04,480 --> 00:12:06,164
...to avant-garde folk rockers.
161
00:12:06,360 --> 00:12:08,283
Everything is graded on
a 100-point scale.
162
00:12:08,480 --> 00:12:10,005
- No place for feedback.
- Excellent.
163
00:12:10,200 --> 00:12:14,250
Readers can bitch on their Twitters.
Good taste is not a democracy.
164
00:12:15,800 --> 00:12:18,451
And this pays what, 13.5 a year?
165
00:12:19,040 --> 00:12:21,566
Free Costello tickets.
166
00:12:27,840 --> 00:12:32,607
Do you think that I am
teaching students out of love?
167
00:12:34,320 --> 00:12:35,845
I'm not.
168
00:12:36,040 --> 00:12:40,170
It's your senior year
and your GPA is...
169
00:12:40,360 --> 00:12:42,169
It's a disgrace.
170
00:12:42,720 --> 00:12:45,644
But I'd rather not see you
back here next fall.
171
00:12:45,840 --> 00:12:48,889
Give me an excuse to graduate you.
172
00:12:49,080 --> 00:12:50,809
Impress me.
173
00:12:51,280 --> 00:12:54,568
Get an A. Save a small country.
Something.
174
00:12:54,760 --> 00:12:56,046
Anything.
175
00:12:56,240 --> 00:12:58,447
Otherwise, get expelled...
176
00:12:58,640 --> 00:13:03,009
...with the lowest grades
in Grizzly Lake history.
177
00:13:06,120 --> 00:13:07,246
Does Home Ec count?
178
00:13:07,440 --> 00:13:10,091
Get your shit together, son.
179
00:13:13,320 --> 00:13:17,450
I make 40 g's a year plus dental.
You may not have a Skittle.
180
00:13:23,400 --> 00:13:25,209
Thanks, Mr. Kendall.
181
00:13:30,640 --> 00:13:31,641
Princess?
182
00:13:31,840 --> 00:13:33,604
- Lone.
- Looks like Taylor's absent.
183
00:13:33,800 --> 00:13:37,009
You'll be head cheerleader for
the Grizzly Lake Bear playoff game.
184
00:13:37,960 --> 00:13:39,371
Don't do that.
185
00:13:39,560 --> 00:13:40,891
You there!
186
00:13:41,080 --> 00:13:43,048
- Riley.
- Sure you are, Crutches.
187
00:13:43,240 --> 00:13:45,049
You'll have to be
the Grizzly Lake bear.
188
00:13:45,240 --> 00:13:47,163
Mascot?
189
00:13:47,360 --> 00:13:50,807
Wearing the bear suit is a privilege
enjoyed by a few. Put it on.
190
00:13:51,000 --> 00:13:52,684
Time to get serious, dude.
191
00:13:54,760 --> 00:13:56,569
- Is this real fur?
- That goes for you too.
192
00:13:56,760 --> 00:13:59,047
- Don't you mess this up!
- I won't, Mr. Cooper.
193
00:13:59,240 --> 00:14:01,242
You're as funny
as Bronson Pinchot.
194
00:14:02,880 --> 00:14:04,644
Let me hear you growl!
195
00:14:05,320 --> 00:14:06,731
Attack!
196
00:14:08,080 --> 00:14:09,127
Typecast.
197
00:14:26,000 --> 00:14:27,684
One and two! Feel it, whoo!
198
00:14:27,880 --> 00:14:29,211
That's the spirit, lone.
199
00:14:29,400 --> 00:14:32,643
I was wondering when Freedom
Williams would make a comeback!
200
00:14:41,640 --> 00:14:43,847
- F in dodgeball too.
- You suck!
201
00:14:46,400 --> 00:14:47,526
Road House?
202
00:14:47,720 --> 00:14:50,929
Patrick Swayze didn't get Kelly Lynch
without ripping some throats first.
203
00:14:51,120 --> 00:14:55,205
- I need to study if I'm gonna fight Billy.
- You can't be planning on fighting him.
204
00:14:56,400 --> 00:15:00,200
Three o'clock, Clapton!
You're fucking dead!
205
00:15:00,400 --> 00:15:02,368
Well, I guess he still likes lone.
206
00:15:03,560 --> 00:15:06,211
Never underestimate the appeal
of stupid, cute things.
207
00:15:06,600 --> 00:15:10,002
The girl's a moron. But you don't--?
You don't have a thing for her, do you?
208
00:15:10,200 --> 00:15:14,250
Sander, Ione's an old soul trapped in
a very painfully hot cheerleader body.
209
00:15:14,440 --> 00:15:17,808
She knows the "Fields of Gold" lyrics.
Every little thing she does is magic.
210
00:15:18,000 --> 00:15:19,889
- Believe it.
- I believe in things I can see.
211
00:15:20,080 --> 00:15:22,082
I believe in violence.
212
00:15:22,280 --> 00:15:26,649
I believe in trees,
mortgages and albinos.
213
00:15:29,240 --> 00:15:30,480
Wet T-shirt.
214
00:15:30,680 --> 00:15:33,160
Patrick Swayze was only
an action star for three years.
215
00:15:33,360 --> 00:15:37,331
Steven Seagal is a lifelong Buddhist
and a deadly master of aikido.
216
00:15:37,520 --> 00:15:39,966
Wrong. Mullet beats ponytails.
217
00:15:41,480 --> 00:15:44,211
Red shirt.
218
00:15:47,240 --> 00:15:50,084
What if that innocent cow
was your son?
219
00:15:51,640 --> 00:15:53,449
Or your daughter?
220
00:15:54,480 --> 00:15:57,529
Now, scientists don't know
whether fish feel pain...
221
00:15:57,720 --> 00:16:02,123
...so some vegetarians
still eat salmon and stuff.
222
00:16:02,320 --> 00:16:07,360
But do you know how much pigs
or, like, veal suffer?
223
00:16:07,560 --> 00:16:11,201
Is the only reason they live
just to be killed?
224
00:16:11,400 --> 00:16:12,890
Meat is murder.
225
00:16:16,440 --> 00:16:18,283
Nice work, Riley.
226
00:16:18,480 --> 00:16:22,121
Now, for the counter-argument,
we turn to Gord.
227
00:16:22,320 --> 00:16:24,322
Gord is our Canadian
exchange student...
228
00:16:24,520 --> 00:16:26,727
...from Lunenburg, Nova Scotia...
229
00:16:26,920 --> 00:16:29,924
...where I hear the salmon
is delicious.
230
00:16:30,120 --> 00:16:31,087
Gord?
231
00:16:31,280 --> 00:16:35,365
Yes, I'd like to start off by saying
that this girl's argument is ridiculous.
232
00:16:35,560 --> 00:16:38,291
Vegetarians who eat fish
are hypocrites.
233
00:16:38,480 --> 00:16:41,768
She thinks because fish may feel
no pain, they don't value their lives.
234
00:16:41,960 --> 00:16:46,124
Absurd. And notice how she expresses
almost no sympathy for chickens.
235
00:16:46,320 --> 00:16:48,687
That's because Americans
hate chickens.
236
00:16:48,880 --> 00:16:51,690
For example,
KFC serves popcorn chicken...
237
00:16:51,880 --> 00:16:55,248
...to assure the customers
that the chicken was blown to bits...
238
00:16:55,440 --> 00:16:58,887
...yet the meatball sub at Subway
isn't called "popcorn cow."
239
00:16:59,080 --> 00:17:01,447
Americans want chickens to die.
240
00:17:01,640 --> 00:17:04,530
Lame! Personally,
I do feel sympathy for animals...
241
00:17:04,720 --> 00:17:07,530
...which is why I choose
to only eat baby animals.
242
00:17:07,720 --> 00:17:10,485
They have not lived as long
and are not leaving as much behind.
243
00:17:10,920 --> 00:17:14,925
Baby clams, chicken wings,
baby seals, no big loss.
244
00:17:15,400 --> 00:17:18,085
If we don't eat meat,
we lose our place in the food chain.
245
00:17:18,280 --> 00:17:20,760
Eating animals gives us confidence
as humans.
246
00:17:21,040 --> 00:17:24,362
Vegetarians like this girl,
who is only wearing one shoe...
247
00:17:24,560 --> 00:17:26,562
...have less confidence
than everybody else.
248
00:17:26,760 --> 00:17:28,728
Thank you, class. Ms. MacIntyre.
249
00:17:28,920 --> 00:17:31,002
Very well researched, Gord.
250
00:17:31,720 --> 00:17:33,449
And, yes, it's true.
251
00:17:33,640 --> 00:17:37,247
Teenagers need self-confidence.
252
00:17:45,040 --> 00:17:49,762
Clamato: the only animal-mammal
beverage at the grocery store.
253
00:17:50,760 --> 00:17:54,207
Which is too bad, because I could
really go for some carbonated dolphin.
254
00:17:54,400 --> 00:17:56,004
Why must you interrupt
my solitude...
255
00:17:56,200 --> 00:17:59,124
...in the worst day of the worst life
in Grizzly Lake history?
256
00:17:59,320 --> 00:18:02,085
- You're not the girl who fucked a bear.
- That was 20 years ago.
257
00:18:02,280 --> 00:18:04,009
And she was a pervert.
I'm a mascot.
258
00:18:04,200 --> 00:18:06,726
It's one rank lower
on the social ladder.
259
00:18:06,920 --> 00:18:09,400
It's true.
I've been thinking about stuff.
260
00:18:09,600 --> 00:18:11,011
Nudity, mostly.
261
00:18:11,200 --> 00:18:12,690
You know, we don't talk much...
262
00:18:12,880 --> 00:18:16,043
...but I like to believe we've been
sort of friends for a while.
263
00:18:16,240 --> 00:18:18,129
Arguable, but not outlandish.
264
00:18:18,480 --> 00:18:22,246
Okay, this human-conversation thing
is not working for you. Let's text.
265
00:18:23,760 --> 00:18:25,125
You better not sext me.
266
00:18:25,320 --> 00:18:27,482
Not interested in the rules.
267
00:18:27,680 --> 00:18:28,806
Yeah, I figured.
268
00:18:29,000 --> 00:18:31,810
Courtship, social ethics,
what people think.
269
00:18:32,000 --> 00:18:33,411
Very true. You're right.
270
00:18:36,080 --> 00:18:38,082
- Sorry, that was for Clapton.
- What the frig!
271
00:18:38,280 --> 00:18:39,930
You know what?
Let's get it over with.
272
00:18:40,120 --> 00:18:42,122
- Let's have sex.
- I'm only gonna say this once.
273
00:18:42,320 --> 00:18:44,971
Do not become the bad guy
in the pregnancy-scare video.
274
00:18:45,160 --> 00:18:48,960
Playful banter is just a sign of
a healthy, caring communi-- Hold on.
275
00:18:51,280 --> 00:18:54,727
If you go sit somewhere else, we can
maybe go back to being sort of friends.
276
00:18:59,800 --> 00:19:02,963
- Mind if I sit here?
- Free country.
277
00:19:21,480 --> 00:19:25,007
Every day, you and I stand in
this hallway and no one notices.
278
00:19:26,080 --> 00:19:30,961
We're just hollow and useless...
279
00:19:31,480 --> 00:19:34,211
...and stuffed full of crap
nobody will ever see.
280
00:19:36,640 --> 00:19:38,369
I know who you are.
281
00:19:39,880 --> 00:19:41,450
You're me.
282
00:19:43,240 --> 00:19:44,730
Well, let's go.
283
00:19:46,400 --> 00:19:49,165
I mean, "Gonna Make You Sweat"?
284
00:19:49,360 --> 00:19:52,523
They let her get away
with making that look cool?
285
00:19:52,720 --> 00:19:55,690
And then I'm beaten by a Canadian
on the ethics of eating animals...
286
00:19:55,880 --> 00:19:59,282
...which makes no sense because
Canadians are supposed to be nice.
287
00:20:00,800 --> 00:20:01,926
See you, Clapton Davis.
288
00:20:02,120 --> 00:20:04,009
Hope my soundtrack
comes out on vinyl.
289
00:21:31,080 --> 00:21:34,721
Little dudes like you get worked.
290
00:21:34,920 --> 00:21:37,207
Let's see your teeth.
For dental records.
291
00:21:37,400 --> 00:21:40,529
Yeah, the next time you go
to the dentist and look at an x-ray...
292
00:21:40,720 --> 00:21:44,441
...it will be a picture
of your head flying off.
293
00:21:44,840 --> 00:21:47,844
- Shit. Get that molar.
- Somebody's trying to kill me!
294
00:21:48,040 --> 00:21:49,530
Join the club.
295
00:21:49,720 --> 00:21:51,529
Get out of my face, dude.
296
00:21:51,720 --> 00:21:55,042
Leave him alone, Nolan. We get it.
Your dick is bigger, all right?
297
00:21:55,240 --> 00:21:56,321
Wait, how do you know?
298
00:21:56,520 --> 00:21:59,126
Clapton, you're my Ralph Macchio.
Do the crane thing.
299
00:21:59,880 --> 00:22:02,565
I like you, lone,
but you're really weird.
300
00:22:02,760 --> 00:22:04,603
If your face hurts my fist...
301
00:22:05,320 --> 00:22:07,209
...I will punch you again harder.
302
00:22:11,240 --> 00:22:14,369
- Everyone take a step back.
- Hang on! I was here first.
303
00:22:14,800 --> 00:22:16,086
Listen up, folks.
304
00:22:16,280 --> 00:22:18,282
Your classmate Taylor Fisher...
305
00:22:18,480 --> 00:22:20,482
...was murdered in her bedroom
this morning.
306
00:22:20,680 --> 00:22:23,490
- What?
- I know this comes as a shock.
307
00:22:23,680 --> 00:22:25,808
We're gonna need to speak
to some of you in turn.
308
00:22:26,000 --> 00:22:29,607
- I was just attacked!
- Sure you were, honey.
309
00:22:39,400 --> 00:22:41,846
The violent death of 17-year-old
Taylor Fisher...
310
00:22:42,040 --> 00:22:43,769
...has shaken the town
of Grizzly Lake.
311
00:22:43,960 --> 00:22:45,610
Fisher, a beloved
Bears cheerleader...
312
00:22:47,040 --> 00:22:49,327
...was getting ready for school
when an intruder stabbed--
313
00:22:49,520 --> 00:22:51,841
Jason Lawrence said
he saw blue lights in the sky...
314
00:22:52,040 --> 00:22:54,930
...and then mysteriously was
compelled to eat three cans of tuna...
315
00:22:55,120 --> 00:22:56,724
...a food he typically hates.
316
00:23:33,640 --> 00:23:35,768
Fuck everybody.
317
00:25:07,600 --> 00:25:11,605
- You ever do any rave drugs?
- A rave? What is this, 1996?
318
00:25:11,800 --> 00:25:13,768
This attacker you're describing,
Ms. Jones...
319
00:25:13,960 --> 00:25:16,201
...sounds just like that horror film.
- Cinderhella.
320
00:25:16,400 --> 00:25:17,811
Scream.
321
00:25:18,000 --> 00:25:20,048
Cinderhella is only a movie.
It can't hurt you.
322
00:25:20,240 --> 00:25:22,481
- You know that?
- I don't know. See the first one?
323
00:25:22,680 --> 00:25:25,524
You're under the belief that
she attacked you? Cinderhella?
324
00:25:25,720 --> 00:25:27,848
Look, I am not a retarded
Neve Campbell, okay?
325
00:25:28,040 --> 00:25:29,883
Obviously, it was someone
dressed like her.
326
00:25:30,080 --> 00:25:33,448
- You nuked the fridge with that one.
- I'm sorry. I don't speak fanboy.
327
00:25:33,640 --> 00:25:37,406
Call if anything else comes to mind
or happens to you.
328
00:25:37,600 --> 00:25:40,171
Yeppers, I'll be sure to call you
when I'm murdered.
329
00:25:40,360 --> 00:25:44,251
Hey. A girl at your school is dead,
for real.
330
00:25:44,440 --> 00:25:45,930
Think about that.
331
00:25:46,800 --> 00:25:49,121
Iron Man. Now, that's a movie.
332
00:25:49,320 --> 00:25:51,288
Iron Man was fucking PG-13.
333
00:25:51,480 --> 00:25:54,404
Does this sound fucking PG-13
to you?
334
00:25:54,600 --> 00:25:56,329
Worst motive ever.
335
00:26:01,960 --> 00:26:04,247
What, you think I'm making this up?
336
00:26:05,440 --> 00:26:08,569
Come on, Riley,
there's nobody else here.
337
00:26:12,280 --> 00:26:13,645
Show me.
338
00:26:16,160 --> 00:26:19,209
Whoever's trying to kill me knows
that Cinderhella is a huge cliché.
339
00:26:19,400 --> 00:26:21,368
They know I know
nobody would believe me.
340
00:26:21,760 --> 00:26:24,001
It's a conspiracy
to get everyone to think...
341
00:26:24,200 --> 00:26:27,807
...I'm a total loser making pre-emptive,
mid-'90s pop references.
342
00:26:28,000 --> 00:26:29,968
Yeah, it's all coming
to an end anyways.
343
00:26:30,160 --> 00:26:32,766
- Translation?
- Our lives.
344
00:26:32,960 --> 00:26:35,611
This summer everyone in
Grizzly Lake is going to college...
345
00:26:35,800 --> 00:26:38,531
...to incubate their degrees,
get knocked up at a kegger...
346
00:26:38,720 --> 00:26:41,121
...and come back here to populate
one of these homes...
347
00:26:41,320 --> 00:26:44,722
...with tiny little versions of themselves.
These are our final days.
348
00:26:45,120 --> 00:26:46,406
Turn.
349
00:26:48,200 --> 00:26:50,726
What about your whole
music-criticism thing?
350
00:26:50,920 --> 00:26:54,970
You'll beat the odds.
You always do, Clapton Davis.
351
00:26:55,160 --> 00:26:58,243
Billy wants to eBay pieces of my face
and Verge is gonna fail me...
352
00:26:58,440 --> 00:27:00,249
...unless I get an A
or save the universe.
353
00:27:00,440 --> 00:27:02,920
Both equally improbable scenarios.
354
00:27:03,480 --> 00:27:04,447
Duck.
355
00:27:05,600 --> 00:27:08,570
You know, the whole cynic act
doesn't really fit on you.
356
00:27:08,760 --> 00:27:10,091
Can't change anything.
357
00:27:10,280 --> 00:27:13,443
Now is all we got. It's not cynicism.
I think now is pretty rad.
358
00:27:13,640 --> 00:27:17,201
Except one girl's dead and the other's
waiting for the noose to tighten.
359
00:27:18,840 --> 00:27:20,171
No.
360
00:27:20,640 --> 00:27:24,087
I'm talking about now, me and you.
361
00:27:24,280 --> 00:27:27,409
Look around. What don't you see?
362
00:27:28,840 --> 00:27:30,126
Cinderhella?
363
00:27:32,200 --> 00:27:33,645
Lone.
364
00:27:34,120 --> 00:27:36,168
Get over yourself. Seriously.
365
00:27:36,360 --> 00:27:38,362
My cast comes off tomorrow.
366
00:27:38,920 --> 00:27:42,163
- Wanna take me dancing?
- Clapton don't dance.
367
00:27:42,360 --> 00:27:45,011
Right, unless Ione's playing Oasis.
368
00:27:45,200 --> 00:27:47,248
More Grizzly Lake kids
were conceived to Oasis...
369
00:27:47,440 --> 00:27:50,762
...than any other Beatles cover band.
Definitely Maybe is British Rohypnol.
370
00:27:51,200 --> 00:27:52,690
Eyes glazing.
371
00:27:55,080 --> 00:27:57,731
I made plans to see a movie
with lone tomorrow night.
372
00:27:58,600 --> 00:28:00,921
Make room for a third wheel.
373
00:28:11,400 --> 00:28:13,767
Cinderhella, please. No.
374
00:28:13,960 --> 00:28:16,406
Why are you crying?
375
00:28:16,880 --> 00:28:19,850
This is the happiest night of your life.
You're prom queen.
376
00:28:20,040 --> 00:28:23,931
It didn't mean anything, okay?
I swear. It was just sex.
377
00:28:24,120 --> 00:28:28,045
Oh, no, Wendy.
It was the worst kind of sex.
378
00:28:28,240 --> 00:28:29,287
Premarital.
379
00:28:29,480 --> 00:28:31,721
I won't tell anyone, I swear.
Just let me go.
380
00:28:31,920 --> 00:28:34,730
I'll let you go,
but only if the glass slipper fits.
381
00:28:34,920 --> 00:28:37,810
It's deep inside
your lower abdomen.
382
00:28:38,000 --> 00:28:40,367
- Oh, no.
- Oh, no. Oh, no. Oh, no.
383
00:28:40,560 --> 00:28:44,326
If you take longer than two minutes,
it'll be a whole new crown of thorns.
384
00:28:46,480 --> 00:28:48,323
Start digging-
385
00:28:49,040 --> 00:28:50,280
Clock's ticking.
386
00:28:54,040 --> 00:28:56,042
On, God!
387
00:28:58,760 --> 00:29:00,000
Say cheese.
388
00:29:00,680 --> 00:29:03,445
If you wanted to take pictures,
you should have stayed at home.
389
00:29:03,640 --> 00:29:06,484
- Eat my shorts, jerk.
- I'll murder you, bitch.
390
00:29:06,680 --> 00:29:07,681
"Eat my shorts"?
391
00:29:07,880 --> 00:29:10,850
There's always some dickweed
trying to spoil people's fun.
392
00:29:11,160 --> 00:29:13,891
- This film is gnarly.
- Gnarly.
393
00:29:14,640 --> 00:29:18,201
It's not fair. I've been doing
Pilates all senior year.
394
00:29:18,400 --> 00:29:20,607
My stomach muscles
are too tight to dig through.
395
00:29:20,800 --> 00:29:23,770
Oh, Wendy,
why didn't you think about that...
396
00:29:23,960 --> 00:29:27,931
...before you offered Scott
your after-school special?
397
00:29:28,120 --> 00:29:30,168
Cinderhella is a moralist.
398
00:29:30,360 --> 00:29:32,761
This is probably the best movie
since Volcano.
399
00:29:32,960 --> 00:29:36,407
And the award for most vapid
film review of the century goes to...
400
00:29:36,600 --> 00:29:38,728
- Can you try being nice?
- Clapton's with me.
401
00:29:38,920 --> 00:29:41,526
- Quit being a space cadet.
- I don't like Clapton.
402
00:29:42,120 --> 00:29:43,724
- I don't care.
- White people, shut it!
403
00:29:43,920 --> 00:29:46,491
But you know he's my own
Michael Keaton, right?
404
00:29:46,680 --> 00:29:48,808
Will you give it up
with your '90s obsession?
405
00:29:49,000 --> 00:29:51,082
1992 was, like, the coolest year ever.
406
00:29:51,280 --> 00:29:54,363
Speaking of which, nice plagiarism
on your debate with the Canadian.
407
00:29:54,560 --> 00:29:55,846
"Meat is murder"?
408
00:29:56,040 --> 00:29:58,520
Everyone knows Morrissey's
Kill Uncle was better.
409
00:29:58,720 --> 00:30:00,210
- Is it?
- You're such a nimrod.
410
00:30:00,400 --> 00:30:01,765
Will you stop talking?
411
00:30:01,960 --> 00:30:04,201
We have rules of conduct.
Your ticket's a contract.
412
00:30:04,400 --> 00:30:06,448
- Shut up, lumberjack!
- What is the contract?
413
00:30:06,640 --> 00:30:09,450
There's to be no illegal photography
inside of Galaxy Cinemas.
414
00:30:09,640 --> 00:30:12,041
That is not the way
a capitalist society functions.
415
00:30:12,240 --> 00:30:14,242
When you take photography
inside of cinemas...
416
00:30:14,440 --> 00:30:17,569
...you take money from carpenters
trying to feed their families.
417
00:30:17,760 --> 00:30:19,285
Closing statement?
418
00:30:19,480 --> 00:30:20,481
Silence is compliance.
419
00:30:34,520 --> 00:30:37,046
Do the maths, baby. Taylor was hot.
420
00:30:37,240 --> 00:30:38,287
I was watching Smurfs.
421
00:30:38,480 --> 00:30:40,369
Neve Campbell was hot.
Jamie Lee Curtis?
422
00:30:40,560 --> 00:30:42,927
- I just BitTorrented Avatar.
- I'd get jiggy with it.
423
00:30:43,120 --> 00:30:46,283
Rephrase this for me, lone.
Your glamazon logic is too advanced.
424
00:30:46,480 --> 00:30:48,847
- They look nothing like Smurfs.
- Riley. As if.
425
00:30:49,040 --> 00:30:50,804
You're not banging enough
to be murdered.
426
00:30:51,000 --> 00:30:53,128
- They're blue.
- Plus, you live in a bungalow.
427
00:30:53,320 --> 00:30:55,288
Slasher-film heroines
live in McMansions.
428
00:30:55,480 --> 00:30:56,811
They don't look alike.
429
00:30:57,000 --> 00:31:00,527
Wow, that was 70 percent appalling
and 30 percent really perceptive.
430
00:31:01,000 --> 00:31:04,561
- BT-dubs, Cinderhella is my stalker.
- Definition, "stalker":
431
00:31:04,760 --> 00:31:08,003
Stalker, noun. Someone who is not
hot enough to be seen with you.
432
00:31:09,320 --> 00:31:10,560
lone makes a compelling case.
433
00:31:10,760 --> 00:31:13,730
If someone were to be
slashed and killed, I'd vote for her.
434
00:31:13,920 --> 00:31:15,843
You're all that and a bag of chips,
Clapton.
435
00:31:16,040 --> 00:31:18,646
It's not like Taylor Fisher
won a popularity contest.
436
00:31:18,840 --> 00:31:22,003
She was murdered. You guys are
watching bimbos-get-tortured porn...
437
00:31:22,200 --> 00:31:24,851
...to feed some music-video director's
coke habit.
438
00:31:25,160 --> 00:31:26,730
Taylor died because she had it all.
439
00:31:26,920 --> 00:31:29,127
She was the most popular girl.
Nobody hated her.
440
00:31:29,320 --> 00:31:31,322
I'd hide in a sporting-goods store
if zombies attacked.
441
00:31:31,520 --> 00:31:34,729
Correction: She was the most
popular girl. Everybody hated her.
442
00:31:34,920 --> 00:31:37,207
- Costco.
- FYI, lone, you can't be the hero.
443
00:31:37,400 --> 00:31:39,641
- No zombie memberships.
- Scream queens are virgins.
444
00:31:39,840 --> 00:31:43,447
Riley does have superhero
impenetrability on her side.
445
00:31:43,640 --> 00:31:45,688
Donald Waters.
446
00:31:46,640 --> 00:31:48,563
He said "an anaconda"
and "ice cube."
447
00:31:48,760 --> 00:31:50,569
I thought he was asking me to...
448
00:31:50,760 --> 00:31:53,127
...watch a movie.
449
00:31:53,760 --> 00:31:57,321
- Waters? That's gross.
- Cuts virginity out of the equation.
450
00:31:57,960 --> 00:31:59,724
Cinderhella wants to kill me more.
451
00:31:59,920 --> 00:32:02,969
I'm hot. Your house sucks. You lose.
452
00:32:06,920 --> 00:32:09,287
Do you think Clapton would say yes
if I asked him out?
453
00:32:09,480 --> 00:32:11,801
Riley, you have to do it.
454
00:32:12,000 --> 00:32:14,002
You two have been
best friends forever.
455
00:32:14,200 --> 00:32:16,202
- Hey, Clapton.
- Hey, Clapton.
456
00:32:18,120 --> 00:32:21,329
He can ride me like that unicycle.
457
00:32:22,160 --> 00:32:23,127
You!
458
00:32:23,320 --> 00:32:25,288
Fartknocker!
459
00:32:28,760 --> 00:32:31,411
Taylor Fisher was a paradigm
of human excellence.
460
00:32:32,160 --> 00:32:34,003
Terrible shame this has to happen.
461
00:32:34,200 --> 00:32:35,486
- Yeah.
- Yeah.
462
00:32:36,240 --> 00:32:39,210
Problem with kids today, they don't
know how to channel aggression.
463
00:32:39,400 --> 00:32:42,244
Football! That's the way.
464
00:32:42,440 --> 00:32:44,329
Otherwise,
they're dreaming of girls...
465
00:32:44,520 --> 00:32:47,251
...and end up in prison
on rape charges.
466
00:32:47,760 --> 00:32:48,727
Yeah.
467
00:32:48,920 --> 00:32:53,005
They close the school to let us grieve,
and everyone shows up at the mall.
468
00:32:53,200 --> 00:32:54,850
These people make me sick.
469
00:32:55,040 --> 00:32:57,930
Remember, there's a costume party
later at my place.
470
00:32:59,600 --> 00:33:01,443
Ready for the big game tonight,
coach?
471
00:33:01,640 --> 00:33:03,847
Always ready for football!
472
00:33:04,800 --> 00:33:06,882
You're dead, Clapton.
473
00:33:09,760 --> 00:33:10,966
Gotta fled.
474
00:33:12,280 --> 00:33:13,964
I gotta pick up prom tickets.
475
00:33:14,160 --> 00:33:15,400
But what about Taylor?
476
00:33:15,600 --> 00:33:17,250
Run, blond gal, run!
477
00:33:17,440 --> 00:33:19,966
Hotel for Dogs is on cable soon.
478
00:33:30,920 --> 00:33:33,002
I guess the rumours
that you don't trim are true.
479
00:33:33,200 --> 00:33:36,124
Taking nude photographs
with little kids is sick.
480
00:33:39,040 --> 00:33:42,089
Here we go! Let's play some football!
Bust some heads!
481
00:33:42,280 --> 00:33:44,487
Let's break some hands!
Break a claw!
482
00:33:44,680 --> 00:33:46,284
Take it in!
483
00:33:50,440 --> 00:33:53,842
Watch 32. Set. Hut!
484
00:34:01,280 --> 00:34:03,089
Nolan, I'm open. What the fuck?
485
00:34:03,280 --> 00:34:05,647
Let go of the god damn ball!
What the--?
486
00:34:06,640 --> 00:34:08,130
What the hell do you think--?
487
00:34:12,880 --> 00:34:14,689
- What are you doing?
- I'm sorry.
488
00:34:14,880 --> 00:34:16,803
- Booger! Get off!
- Come on, Nolan.
489
00:34:17,000 --> 00:34:18,411
- Get in the game!
- I'm trying!
490
00:34:19,080 --> 00:34:20,730
- What is that?
- Get off the bear!
491
00:34:20,920 --> 00:34:22,206
You saw nothing.
492
00:34:22,760 --> 00:34:25,889
Nothing! Shut up!
493
00:34:26,360 --> 00:34:28,010
Nolan, you all right?
494
00:34:34,680 --> 00:34:36,045
What the hell do you think--?
495
00:34:36,240 --> 00:34:38,811
What is that? Goddamn it!
496
00:34:39,800 --> 00:34:41,165
Get out of here!
497
00:34:41,360 --> 00:34:42,327
Billy, hold on a sec.
498
00:34:42,960 --> 00:34:46,043
You resolve all your boy troubles
in the man's room?
499
00:34:46,240 --> 00:34:48,322
Why are you gonna fight Clapton?
So junior high.
500
00:34:48,520 --> 00:34:50,568
All that juicing is freaking you out.
501
00:34:50,760 --> 00:34:52,046
Juicing?
502
00:34:52,240 --> 00:34:55,847
Does this look like steroids to you?
503
00:34:56,560 --> 00:34:59,723
Yeah, nice biceps. You're a freak!
504
00:35:01,480 --> 00:35:03,881
You wanna know the story
of the real Billy Nolan?
505
00:35:04,480 --> 00:35:06,244
Your eyes are bloodshot,
you vomit acid...
506
00:35:06,440 --> 00:35:08,966
...and your brain is scrambled
from all the football hits.
507
00:35:09,160 --> 00:35:11,083
Sure, lay it on me.
508
00:35:12,520 --> 00:35:16,730
I have fly blood in my veins.
509
00:35:16,920 --> 00:35:18,763
I'm a freak.
510
00:35:23,280 --> 00:35:24,770
Robot dog.
511
00:35:28,240 --> 00:35:29,685
Billy, I told you 100 damn times.
512
00:35:29,880 --> 00:35:32,167
Get that dog out of here
when I'm watching the set.
513
00:35:32,360 --> 00:35:34,010
He's blocking the game.
514
00:35:36,640 --> 00:35:38,404
Why does he hate me?
515
00:36:05,760 --> 00:36:08,331
All I have in the world is my TV set.
516
00:36:09,120 --> 00:36:11,600
Never take this off, boy.
517
00:36:12,040 --> 00:36:15,522
No one can know
that my son's a freak.
518
00:36:15,960 --> 00:36:19,681
TV hand! TV hand! TV hand!
519
00:36:22,040 --> 00:36:23,326
Hike!
520
00:36:24,720 --> 00:36:28,042
TV hand! TV hand! TV hand!
521
00:36:50,640 --> 00:36:53,246
And that's exactly
how I remember it.
522
00:36:53,440 --> 00:36:55,727
You have got to cut down
on the protein shakes.
523
00:36:55,920 --> 00:36:59,322
- Get lost! You don't know shit!
- If you fight Clapton, I'll tell everyone.
524
00:36:59,520 --> 00:37:01,363
You think they give trophies
to larvae?
525
00:37:02,240 --> 00:37:04,447
- My hand.
- Come on!
526
00:37:04,640 --> 00:37:06,210
I'm trying
527
00:37:06,400 --> 00:37:07,731
Billy, we really need to talk.
528
00:37:10,200 --> 00:37:12,521
Is this when I'm supposed to say,
"How could you?"
529
00:37:12,720 --> 00:37:15,166
Am I supposed to say,
"It's not what it looks like"?
530
00:37:15,360 --> 00:37:17,124
What, are you two fucking?
531
00:37:28,000 --> 00:37:30,446
Welcome to the Sandersons'.
Don't speak more loudly...
532
00:37:30,640 --> 00:37:33,883
...than you would at your home. If you
have to go number one, go outside.
533
00:37:34,080 --> 00:37:36,845
If it's number two, you go home.
534
00:37:42,120 --> 00:37:44,043
Why'd you tell me
this was a costume party?
535
00:37:44,240 --> 00:37:47,050
Because it is.
536
00:37:47,240 --> 00:37:48,844
Fag.
537
00:37:49,080 --> 00:37:50,844
Who are you supposed to be,
Super Mario?
538
00:37:51,480 --> 00:37:52,720
Angela Chase.
539
00:37:52,920 --> 00:37:54,763
She of the So-Called Life,
Claire Danes?
540
00:37:54,960 --> 00:37:57,930
If it wasn't on man's curling,
I probably haven't seen it.
541
00:37:58,320 --> 00:38:01,961
- We're the least cool people here.
- No, speak for yourself.
542
00:38:02,160 --> 00:38:03,924
I'm dressed as
Captain Jean-Luc Picard.
543
00:38:04,120 --> 00:38:06,566
Setting off some pheromones.
544
00:38:06,760 --> 00:38:08,922
I thought you were an ice skater.
545
00:38:09,800 --> 00:38:11,962
- Do you like fish sticks?
- Oh, my God!
546
00:38:12,160 --> 00:38:14,447
In Canada, people drink
what they bring to the party.
547
00:38:14,640 --> 00:38:18,087
This whole Marxist alcohol
partition thing is new to me.
548
00:38:18,280 --> 00:38:20,806
I like to mooch the good stuff.
549
00:38:21,280 --> 00:38:25,251
So Canada, eh?
550
00:38:25,440 --> 00:38:28,967
Is it true you guys
never lock your doors?
551
00:38:50,280 --> 00:38:52,886
Suck it, bitches.
552
00:38:54,760 --> 00:38:56,524
Gag.
553
00:39:10,880 --> 00:39:13,486
I have no witty retort to that.
554
00:39:13,720 --> 00:39:17,167
Just kiss me and make sure Clapton
sees that shit.
555
00:39:17,360 --> 00:39:18,771
Engage.
556
00:39:20,200 --> 00:39:22,487
I am fever!
557
00:39:22,760 --> 00:39:26,128
I hope you're having
as much fun as us, Clapton.
558
00:39:26,320 --> 00:39:27,765
As much fun as Billy had?
559
00:39:29,680 --> 00:39:32,490
If your mind is being controlled
by Wrath of Khan slugs...
560
00:39:32,680 --> 00:39:36,002
...I just want you to know
that I am cool with it.
561
00:39:41,280 --> 00:39:43,089
Let's dance, Sander...
562
00:39:43,280 --> 00:39:47,080
...because Clapton don't dance.
563
00:39:58,840 --> 00:40:00,126
Not awesome.
564
00:40:12,960 --> 00:40:14,121
I think I'm gonna barf.
565
00:40:16,040 --> 00:40:17,371
Your bra hooked my ring.
566
00:40:17,560 --> 00:40:20,643
Don't stretch my suspenders.
These overalls are vintage 1994.
567
00:40:20,840 --> 00:40:23,684
This is a limited-edition
LeVar Burton Starfleet pinkie ring.
568
00:40:23,880 --> 00:40:26,360
I had to eat Whole Wheat Crackles
for a year to get one.
569
00:40:26,560 --> 00:40:28,483
- Creeper. Beam off!
- Trust me.
570
00:40:31,440 --> 00:40:32,930
That dude has tits.
571
00:40:33,320 --> 00:40:34,526
Finally happened for me.
572
00:40:35,520 --> 00:40:38,967
Clapton Davis!
573
00:40:40,720 --> 00:40:43,451
Tonight will prove my theory...
574
00:40:44,720 --> 00:40:47,087
...that lone won't go to prom...
575
00:40:47,680 --> 00:40:49,648
...with someone
who has been murdered!
576
00:40:51,800 --> 00:40:53,802
Go on, Clapton. I believe in you.
577
00:40:54,000 --> 00:40:57,163
How about you use that motivational
speech to talk Billy out of it?
578
00:40:57,360 --> 00:40:59,249
He's not gonna stop
until you step up.
579
00:40:59,680 --> 00:41:01,648
You just have to lay down the law.
580
00:41:02,280 --> 00:41:03,725
What if I lay down in pain?
581
00:41:03,920 --> 00:41:07,322
Remember, Clapton,
pain don't hurt.
582
00:41:08,640 --> 00:41:10,927
Red shirt. Damn.
583
00:41:13,000 --> 00:41:13,967
All right, Billy.
584
00:41:14,760 --> 00:41:16,171
Clapton Davis.
585
00:41:17,320 --> 00:41:19,368
You are not as much of a pussy
as I thought.
586
00:41:19,560 --> 00:41:22,404
- Do you wanna do this the easy way?
- What's the easy way?
587
00:41:23,080 --> 00:41:27,130
Stop being so smart, all right?
You're dead either way.
588
00:41:27,320 --> 00:41:29,926
Well, thank you
for explaining my op--
589
00:41:33,640 --> 00:41:34,687
Thank God that's not me.
590
00:41:34,880 --> 00:41:37,008
Goal!
591
00:42:03,080 --> 00:42:04,491
It's go time, Clapton.
592
00:42:04,680 --> 00:42:06,523
Shut up, lone!
593
00:42:07,280 --> 00:42:09,362
It's no wonder I broke up with you.
594
00:42:09,560 --> 00:42:11,289
Clapton Davis is a genius!
595
00:42:11,480 --> 00:42:15,804
Would you go back in time to punch
Benjamin Franklin and Spike Lee too?
596
00:42:17,840 --> 00:42:20,047
Get out of my face, ho!
597
00:42:20,240 --> 00:42:24,040
And you lied to me. It is not normal
for people's semen to glow in the dark.
598
00:42:24,240 --> 00:42:27,369
Billy, she never saw my semen,
I swear to God.
599
00:42:30,240 --> 00:42:35,121
I cannot believe you just said that
in front of all these people.
600
00:42:37,320 --> 00:42:38,287
Did I win?
601
00:43:08,040 --> 00:43:09,565
What the--?
602
00:43:11,080 --> 00:43:13,208
Why don't you take a picture, homo?
603
00:43:18,760 --> 00:43:23,049
Stop messing with my buzz!
604
00:43:35,080 --> 00:43:37,924
This shocking footage was recorded
by a witness earlier today.
605
00:43:38,120 --> 00:43:40,122
Be warned,
the images here are disturbing.
606
00:43:53,800 --> 00:43:55,643
How you feeling?
607
00:43:56,040 --> 00:43:57,929
Well, my vision's diagonal...
608
00:43:58,120 --> 00:44:00,327
...I can't breathe
without thinking about it...
609
00:44:00,520 --> 00:44:02,841
...I can hear
other people's thoughts...
610
00:44:03,040 --> 00:44:04,929
...and it looks like
you're eating meat.
611
00:44:05,120 --> 00:44:08,169
Other than that, tip-top shape.
612
00:44:08,520 --> 00:44:12,809
Not only do I eat meat,
but I am now a porno star.
613
00:44:13,800 --> 00:44:16,007
Parties are so full of self-discovery.
614
00:44:16,200 --> 00:44:17,440
Moo-licious.
615
00:44:36,480 --> 00:44:39,165
Being a mascot is a proud tradition.
616
00:44:39,360 --> 00:44:41,761
You represent the honour
of Grizzly Lake High.
617
00:44:41,960 --> 00:44:43,724
When you take off
that bear costume...
618
00:44:43,920 --> 00:44:46,730
...you should walk like your body
is still covered in fur.
619
00:44:46,920 --> 00:44:50,766
The video of your mammary gland...
620
00:44:50,960 --> 00:44:55,204
...was viewed 20,000 times
on the Internet.
621
00:44:55,400 --> 00:44:56,640
- YouTube?
- National Zoology.
622
00:44:56,840 --> 00:44:59,127
- Can I throw up?
- It's also in the news.
623
00:44:59,320 --> 00:45:01,721
Billy Nolan is killed
in the same video.
624
00:45:01,920 --> 00:45:04,161
Who taught you how to make
a snuff porno? Lady Gaga?
625
00:45:04,480 --> 00:45:07,962
Wait. Are you guys
accusing me of something?
626
00:45:12,080 --> 00:45:14,686
Your nipple was exposed
for seven whole seconds.
627
00:45:14,880 --> 00:45:17,770
Is that why two of my brightest
students were killed?
628
00:45:17,960 --> 00:45:19,200
For seven seconds of video?
629
00:45:19,400 --> 00:45:20,970
- Did you all watch it?
- I didn't.
630
00:45:21,160 --> 00:45:22,810
Why not?
631
00:45:23,000 --> 00:45:26,561
I am giving everybody implicated
as being anywhere near Billy Nolan...
632
00:45:26,760 --> 00:45:29,240
...on that tape Saturday detention.
633
00:45:29,560 --> 00:45:31,528
- Tomorrow?
- Tomorrow.
634
00:45:31,720 --> 00:45:33,848
- Tomorrow is prom.
- This is murder.
635
00:45:34,200 --> 00:45:36,168
And porn.
There's a killer in Grizzly Lake...
636
00:45:36,360 --> 00:45:39,204
...who is affiliated
with people at my school.
637
00:45:39,400 --> 00:45:43,291
Detention is in the library.
It goes from 10 am. to 10 pm.
638
00:45:43,480 --> 00:45:46,165
That's right through prom.
639
00:45:46,360 --> 00:45:48,408
I thought Saturday detention
was a myth.
640
00:45:48,600 --> 00:45:50,284
So was ice-skater porn.
641
00:46:04,280 --> 00:46:07,090
Riley, don't ever degrade yourself.
642
00:46:07,400 --> 00:46:09,801
Don't let them make you think
that you're not valuable.
643
00:46:10,360 --> 00:46:12,328
- Mr. Kendall--
- Respect your body.
644
00:46:13,800 --> 00:46:17,122
This is just a big misunderstanding.
645
00:46:17,600 --> 00:46:22,288
A wise man once said that we're all
a bunch of big misunderstandings.
646
00:46:23,360 --> 00:46:25,124
His name was Deepak Chopra.
647
00:46:28,960 --> 00:46:31,486
What difference does it make now?
I'm just...
648
00:46:33,480 --> 00:46:35,847
I'm just a stupid porn star.
649
00:46:37,680 --> 00:46:39,205
No, Riley.
650
00:46:40,360 --> 00:46:44,046
You're a beautiful girl
whose voice just needs to be heard.
651
00:47:05,800 --> 00:47:07,882
I'm a porn star.
652
00:47:09,000 --> 00:47:10,604
Young.
653
00:47:11,480 --> 00:47:13,164
Hot.
654
00:47:13,520 --> 00:47:14,760
Porn.
655
00:47:17,400 --> 00:47:18,845
We just need to take a moment...
656
00:47:19,040 --> 00:47:24,001
...to look into each other's eyes
and centre our chakra.
657
00:47:24,520 --> 00:47:26,602
You're looking for
something deeper.
658
00:47:26,800 --> 00:47:30,566
Yeah. Yeah, I am. I like older guys.
659
00:47:30,760 --> 00:47:33,570
Like age 36...
660
00:47:33,760 --> 00:47:36,650
...or 39 or 35 or something.
661
00:47:37,840 --> 00:47:39,365
Riley.
662
00:47:41,000 --> 00:47:42,570
That's right.
663
00:47:43,400 --> 00:47:46,244
There's always a new way
of looking at each other.
664
00:49:53,640 --> 00:49:55,927
Okay, suspects.
665
00:49:56,120 --> 00:49:59,363
Tell me who the killer is,
and I'll let you go home...
666
00:49:59,560 --> 00:50:00,846
...and go to your little prom.
667
00:50:01,680 --> 00:50:02,647
Taylor Fisher.
668
00:50:02,840 --> 00:50:04,365
I don't believe you.
669
00:50:04,560 --> 00:50:07,689
We have rights.
You can't lock us up without evidence.
670
00:50:08,320 --> 00:50:11,688
This isn't jail.
671
00:50:12,240 --> 00:50:13,924
It's detention.
672
00:50:28,640 --> 00:50:31,928
Well, we can rule out Gord.
673
00:50:32,120 --> 00:50:34,202
Canadians don't kill
outside their home country.
674
00:50:34,400 --> 00:50:36,164
Yeah, well,
we can count Sander out too.
675
00:50:36,360 --> 00:50:39,603
Nolan was chopped up with an axe.
Ever seen Sander try to swing a bat?
676
00:50:39,800 --> 00:50:40,847
I was sick that day.
677
00:50:41,040 --> 00:50:44,806
You have the arms of an anaemic
spider monkey. Definitely not you.
678
00:50:45,000 --> 00:50:46,889
Well, Mimi probably
isn't the killer either.
679
00:50:47,080 --> 00:50:49,003
Her only death comes
from a make-up kit.
680
00:50:49,200 --> 00:50:50,770
We can take Toshiba off the list.
681
00:50:51,160 --> 00:50:53,447
- Why?
- Because you're you.
682
00:50:54,200 --> 00:50:55,884
And it's definitely not Claptonia.
683
00:50:56,080 --> 00:50:58,890
Those two couldn't be apart
long enough to coordinate a killing.
684
00:50:59,080 --> 00:51:01,003
That with lone
gnawing through boyfriends...
685
00:51:01,200 --> 00:51:04,249
...like an unfed piranha
makes me think you're both innocent.
686
00:51:04,440 --> 00:51:05,407
Thanks?
687
00:51:05,600 --> 00:51:08,444
You've gone out with, what?
Five guys these past three years?
688
00:51:08,640 --> 00:51:11,530
'90s makeover aside, you're not
reflexive enough to hold a grudge.
689
00:51:11,760 --> 00:51:13,922
And crippling gimpitude
saves your ass.
690
00:51:14,120 --> 00:51:16,282
Having a broken leg is for losers,
you idiot.
691
00:51:16,680 --> 00:51:18,842
All right, then that settles it.
It's Toby T.
692
00:51:19,040 --> 00:51:20,530
- Why is it me?
- Just fess up, Toby.
693
00:51:20,720 --> 00:51:23,849
So I can get out of here, and won't
have to listen to this windbag.
694
00:51:24,040 --> 00:51:26,520
- Take one for the team.
- You guys barely even know me.
695
00:51:26,720 --> 00:51:28,051
That's kind of the problem.
696
00:51:28,240 --> 00:51:30,561
It writes psychotic killer
all over your face.
697
00:51:31,120 --> 00:51:34,567
Mimi is just too obvious
with the rebellious clown make-up...
698
00:51:34,760 --> 00:51:37,923
...her hippie parents hate.
- My parents aren't hippies.
699
00:51:38,120 --> 00:51:40,122
- Are you all assholes?
- I'm not.
700
00:51:40,320 --> 00:51:43,051
Look, guys, it's obvious
I have no ties to Billy and Taylor.
701
00:51:43,240 --> 00:51:44,651
Same school, same food chain.
702
00:51:44,840 --> 00:51:47,081
How could you,
strange, unknown quiet guy?
703
00:51:47,280 --> 00:51:49,123
I'm not a killer, I'm just boring.
704
00:51:49,320 --> 00:51:50,731
Toby, you're right.
705
00:51:50,920 --> 00:51:54,242
It can't be any of us.
We're not anguished enough.
706
00:51:54,440 --> 00:51:56,602
Our generation has had
no major struggles.
707
00:51:56,800 --> 00:51:58,325
- What about 9111 ?
- Afghanistan?
708
00:51:58,520 --> 00:51:59,521
- Iraq.
- Katrina.
709
00:51:59,720 --> 00:52:01,529
Heath Ledger. What?
710
00:52:01,720 --> 00:52:02,687
Too soon?
711
00:52:03,240 --> 00:52:05,720
The hell do Katrina & the Waves
have to do with it?
712
00:52:05,920 --> 00:52:08,526
Katrina the hurricane.
Wikipedia it, bitch.
713
00:52:08,720 --> 00:52:12,725
It's spelled "encyclopaedia," slutbag.
714
00:52:13,640 --> 00:52:15,369
Who's the guy in the hoodie?
715
00:52:16,720 --> 00:52:19,371
My name is Elliot Fink.
716
00:52:19,560 --> 00:52:20,641
I didn't see you.
717
00:52:20,840 --> 00:52:23,684
Nobody really sees me.
718
00:52:24,040 --> 00:52:27,931
I've had detention every day
for the last 19 years.
719
00:52:28,120 --> 00:52:29,929
Nineteen years?
The hell did you do?
720
00:52:30,120 --> 00:52:34,045
I... I don't remember.
721
00:54:05,080 --> 00:54:07,606
Took a dump on the windshield
of Woodruff's Cadillac.
722
00:54:07,880 --> 00:54:09,450
Only got a week.
723
00:54:09,640 --> 00:54:12,166
You must be the baddest motherfucker
in school.
724
00:54:12,360 --> 00:54:14,681
Now, Elliot Fink,
you're gonna sit here...
725
00:54:14,880 --> 00:54:16,644
...and think about
what you've done.
726
00:54:16,840 --> 00:54:20,367
You'll have detention every day
until I tell you you're reformed.
727
00:54:20,560 --> 00:54:24,884
My school will not be a training ground
for budding pornographers.
728
00:54:41,880 --> 00:54:44,281
Don't look at me, perv.
729
00:54:45,640 --> 00:54:48,120
Can I get a Wi-Fi connection here?
730
00:54:49,800 --> 00:54:51,848
'Nam flashback?
731
00:54:52,760 --> 00:54:54,569
Did you go to this school in 1992?
732
00:54:54,760 --> 00:54:57,650
Yeah, she'll be 65 next week.
It's a surgical wonder.
733
00:55:06,600 --> 00:55:09,570
Apparently, a perfect body
and eyeliner aren't enough...
734
00:55:09,760 --> 00:55:11,125
...to win the school dance-off.
735
00:55:11,320 --> 00:55:15,245
You need, like, moves and things.
God!
736
00:55:17,080 --> 00:55:20,448
I used to know how to break it down
like C+C Music Factory.
737
00:55:20,640 --> 00:55:21,721
Yeah, right!
738
00:55:21,920 --> 00:55:24,048
Mom, the dance-off is in two days.
739
00:55:24,240 --> 00:55:27,289
All you need to do is swap minds
with my 18-year-old self.
740
00:55:27,480 --> 00:55:31,371
My mind will go into your mind,
into your body...
741
00:55:31,560 --> 00:55:33,050
...and win you the dance-off.
742
00:55:33,240 --> 00:55:36,801
Meanwhile, your mind
will travel to 1992.
743
00:55:37,000 --> 00:55:39,606
That way people won't wonder
why there's two of you...
744
00:55:39,800 --> 00:55:41,290
...or us, hanging around now.
745
00:55:41,480 --> 00:55:45,326
A couple of things I need to tell you
about boys in 1992.
746
00:55:45,520 --> 00:55:48,444
Christian Slater, Frank Whaley...
747
00:55:48,640 --> 00:55:51,849
...oh, and Richard Grieco
are all foxes.
748
00:55:52,040 --> 00:55:53,690
Donnie Wahlberg is bordering sexy.
749
00:55:53,880 --> 00:55:58,522
Oh, and Kevin Costner is slamming
in Prince of Thieves.
750
00:55:58,720 --> 00:56:01,326
Kevin Costner is a douche.
And one other thing...
751
00:56:01,840 --> 00:56:02,887
...are you insane?
752
00:56:03,080 --> 00:56:06,163
It's what I always sang to you
when you were a baby.
753
00:56:06,360 --> 00:56:08,283
When you wish--
754
00:56:08,480 --> 00:56:09,686
Shit!
755
00:56:11,400 --> 00:56:14,529
I wish my mother
would go to another planet...
756
00:56:14,720 --> 00:56:18,725
...instead of being a drunken has-been
who's full of shit.
757
00:56:55,680 --> 00:56:59,844
So that's how my mind ended up
in my mother's body in 1992.
758
00:57:00,040 --> 00:57:04,284
And how I ended up
in my daughter lone in the present.
759
00:57:04,600 --> 00:57:07,171
But that's all technical science stuff.
760
00:57:15,280 --> 00:57:17,442
Wow, lone really did her research.
761
00:57:20,720 --> 00:57:22,529
Next up, doing ballet...
762
00:57:22,720 --> 00:57:24,927
...we have Ripley Jones.
763
00:57:25,120 --> 00:57:26,087
Riley!
764
00:57:26,280 --> 00:57:29,250
Whatever, dude.
You have like three minutes.
765
00:57:48,360 --> 00:57:49,964
You taste like Luke Perry.
766
00:57:53,200 --> 00:57:55,567
- She's a gimp.
- FML!
767
00:57:55,760 --> 00:57:58,525
Every student donating a food item
to help the war victims...
768
00:57:58,720 --> 00:58:00,882
...will receive a free pass
to Lethal Weapon 3.
769
00:58:01,080 --> 00:58:03,890
What the heck is so retro
about Kris Kross, dumb-ass?
770
00:58:04,080 --> 00:58:07,527
This week the Science Olympiad
took place in Town Creek.
771
00:58:07,720 --> 00:58:10,803
I am never leaving this place.
772
00:58:11,400 --> 00:58:13,129
This move is sick.
773
00:58:13,320 --> 00:58:14,845
Tighten up that defence line
774
00:58:15,040 --> 00:58:17,042
Said hold that line
775
00:58:17,240 --> 00:58:18,241
This one is...
776
00:58:18,440 --> 00:58:20,329
Oh, hey, Verge,
are you coming out tonight?
777
00:58:20,520 --> 00:58:22,887
We're gonna watch Freejack
on laser disc.
778
00:58:29,520 --> 00:58:33,127
Dear God, please give me the strength
to ask Sloan to prom.
779
00:58:33,320 --> 00:58:37,848
We're meant to be
and she sees the future.
780
00:58:38,160 --> 00:58:41,846
And give some food to those Ethiopian
kids hanging out with Sally Struthers...
781
00:58:42,040 --> 00:58:43,929
...because seeing them
really bums me out...
782
00:58:44,120 --> 00:58:46,930
...during Star Trek: Next Generation.
Amen.
783
00:58:50,400 --> 00:58:51,811
Lose your seat?
784
00:58:52,560 --> 00:58:55,689
No, I was just sitting
right over there.
785
00:58:55,880 --> 00:59:00,010
I saw you in cheerleader practise
in the gym yesterday...
786
00:59:00,200 --> 00:59:03,488
...and I was thinking about it again
in bed last night.
787
00:59:04,280 --> 00:59:07,762
I was just gonna ask you to prom.
788
00:59:08,520 --> 00:59:13,560
I can smell bologna packed
in your lunch. It makes me gag.
789
00:59:18,920 --> 00:59:20,922
You look like a girl!
790
00:59:24,800 --> 00:59:27,565
Sloan probably only likes guys
that look like C. Thomas Howell.
791
00:59:27,760 --> 00:59:30,570
Well, that's just
racial discrimination.
792
00:59:30,760 --> 00:59:34,162
If I can't be part of her future,
there will be no future.
793
00:59:46,280 --> 00:59:47,725
Damn it.
794
00:59:48,280 --> 00:59:52,080
Well, if I'm gonna die, at least I know
I've lived twice as long as Riley.
795
00:59:52,280 --> 00:59:54,886
Just because you're a bitch
doesn't give you dog years.
796
00:59:55,080 --> 00:59:57,287
Says the baby with the stuffed toys.
797
01:00:03,360 --> 01:00:05,567
I think it's Taylor's.
798
01:00:06,760 --> 01:00:10,367
Verge is right.
The killer's right here.
799
01:00:12,360 --> 01:00:15,204
We gotta find out what happens
after the Cinderhella murders.
800
01:00:15,400 --> 01:00:17,926
- Cinderhella dies.
- Yeah, after that.
801
01:00:18,120 --> 01:00:20,009
What happens in
Cinderhella III: Blood Ball?
802
01:00:20,200 --> 01:00:22,601
- Movie's not out yet.
- I'll BitTorrent the work print.
803
01:00:22,800 --> 01:00:23,881
Three, two-- Got it!
804
01:00:24,080 --> 01:00:26,401
Damn. The review
by Sherlock Moriarty...
805
01:00:26,600 --> 01:00:28,489
...compares it unfavourably
to Hellboy II...
806
01:00:28,680 --> 01:00:30,444
...calling it a "craptasterpiece."
807
01:00:30,640 --> 01:00:32,085
That's it.
808
01:00:38,840 --> 01:00:41,730
If Mr. Pain's giving us detention
on a Saturday...
809
01:00:41,920 --> 01:00:45,129
...the least we can do is download
Slashing Beauty 4 for free...
810
01:00:45,320 --> 01:00:48,324
...and watch it illegally on the Internet
before it's released.
811
01:00:48,520 --> 01:00:50,409
I wanna have unprotected sex.
812
01:00:50,600 --> 01:00:53,444
How can they make a movie worse
than Cinderhella II?
813
01:01:02,000 --> 01:01:04,970
They say the Beauty Beast
only kills virgins.
814
01:01:05,720 --> 01:01:07,370
I'm saving myself for marriage.
815
01:01:07,840 --> 01:01:09,729
I avoid teenage pregnancy.
816
01:01:12,840 --> 01:01:16,401
Madison. We're gonna die.
817
01:01:16,600 --> 01:01:18,090
If it's life or death...
818
01:01:19,240 --> 01:01:21,925
- What is this, Canadian?
- Canada invented the slasher film...
819
01:01:22,120 --> 01:01:25,283
...as well as the "animal plays a sport"
genre, motherfucker.
820
01:01:25,640 --> 01:01:26,766
I'm a virgin.
821
01:01:34,040 --> 01:01:35,883
Take me, Beauty Beast!
822
01:01:36,080 --> 01:01:38,003
Your teeth are so hard!
823
01:01:39,400 --> 01:01:40,481
Suck it!
824
01:01:41,200 --> 01:01:42,201
Goddamn it!
825
01:01:42,920 --> 01:01:45,127
Greg, you asshole.
826
01:01:45,320 --> 01:01:49,086
Now we really do have to use
this time to think about our futures.
827
01:01:52,520 --> 01:01:54,329
This movie is so stupid.
828
01:01:54,520 --> 01:01:57,171
Let's go back to class
and fall asleep.
829
01:01:58,920 --> 01:02:01,605
None of you felons...
830
01:02:01,800 --> 01:02:06,328
...will ever graduate!
831
01:02:14,320 --> 01:02:16,402
What is this commotion?
832
01:02:16,600 --> 01:02:21,561
- We're about to get murdered.
- Someday you will be old, kids.
833
01:02:21,760 --> 01:02:24,764
Do you believe that our president,
Barack Obama, murdered anyone...
834
01:02:24,960 --> 01:02:26,962
...when he was in high school?
835
01:02:28,200 --> 01:02:30,487
O.J. maybe. Not Obama.
836
01:02:30,680 --> 01:02:33,365
- I think that's racist, sir.
- What is? It is not.
837
01:02:33,560 --> 01:02:37,326
Why did you go from Obama to O.J.
Instead of to Dahmer or someone?
838
01:02:37,520 --> 01:02:41,650
I, Mimi, am the principal
of this school...
839
01:02:41,840 --> 01:02:44,684
...and you have not even completed
your schooling.
840
01:02:45,280 --> 01:02:46,725
Besides, I voted for McCain.
841
01:02:46,920 --> 01:02:49,810
In conclusion, stop fucking around.
842
01:02:50,280 --> 01:02:52,328
- Are we allowed to read?
- No, Hitachi.
843
01:02:52,640 --> 01:02:53,641
Toshiba.
844
01:02:53,840 --> 01:02:55,888
Lone. Sorry, baby.
845
01:02:56,080 --> 01:02:57,445
-"Baby"?
- Weird.
846
01:02:58,200 --> 01:02:59,486
Who is that?
847
01:02:59,720 --> 01:03:01,324
My name's Elliot Fink.
848
01:03:01,520 --> 01:03:03,170
Nobody say a word.
Nobody sneeze.
849
01:03:03,560 --> 01:03:07,645
Nobody look at anything
except your own eyeballs.
850
01:03:08,840 --> 01:03:10,205
There's a killer amongst us.
851
01:03:11,560 --> 01:03:13,608
You've read Brave New World.
852
01:03:13,800 --> 01:03:16,121
Like Big Brother, I'm watching you.
853
01:03:16,320 --> 01:03:17,481
Big Brother was in 1984.
854
01:03:17,680 --> 01:03:22,720
You have no future in my opinion.
855
01:03:27,240 --> 01:03:28,287
What now?
856
01:03:28,480 --> 01:03:31,370
These kids should be happy to be
away from their Yu-Gi-Oh.
857
01:03:31,560 --> 01:03:34,245
What the hell are you doing
out of detention?
858
01:03:45,000 --> 01:03:46,411
I solved the equation.
859
01:03:46,600 --> 01:03:49,809
Cool. You passed Trig. In other news,
somebody's murdering us.
860
01:03:50,000 --> 01:03:50,967
None of that matters.
861
01:03:51,160 --> 01:03:54,164
If these numbers are correct,
the world is ending in 10 minutes.
862
01:03:54,360 --> 01:03:57,284
- The whole world?
- Yeah, all of Grizzly Lake.
863
01:03:57,480 --> 01:04:00,131
- That's not the whole world.
- You been outside Grizzly Lake?
864
01:04:00,320 --> 01:04:01,651
- No.
- What's the difference?
865
01:04:01,840 --> 01:04:02,807
Whoa-kay.
866
01:04:03,000 --> 01:04:05,002
Nobody knows who you are.
Why believe you?
867
01:04:05,200 --> 01:04:07,202
In 9.4 minutes,
everyone you know...
868
01:04:08,200 --> 01:04:10,646
...your friends, your parents...
869
01:04:10,840 --> 01:04:13,889
...your extensions, goes bye-bye.
870
01:04:14,080 --> 01:04:15,764
This destruction is man-made.
871
01:04:16,120 --> 01:04:19,602
If it's man-made, we can kill it.
872
01:04:19,800 --> 01:04:23,521
Score one for Captain 9021-Obvious.
How do we stop it?
873
01:04:24,040 --> 01:04:27,203
That's the catch. I said it was
happening in nine minutes...
874
01:04:27,400 --> 01:04:30,324
...but it's happening in nine minutes
in the year 1992.
875
01:04:30,520 --> 01:04:31,487
What the hell?
876
01:04:32,280 --> 01:04:34,886
Somebody must have
gone back to 1992.
877
01:04:35,080 --> 01:04:38,687
In nine minutes, they're changing
history by blowing everything up.
878
01:04:38,880 --> 01:04:40,484
None of you will have
even been born.
879
01:04:40,680 --> 01:04:42,808
- The end of the world's coming?
- Yeah.
880
01:04:43,000 --> 01:04:44,729
- In 1992?
- Yes!
881
01:04:44,920 --> 01:04:46,888
-1992.
- We're talking time travel?
882
01:04:47,080 --> 01:04:49,924
- There's no such thing.
- Technically it's a temporal wormhole...
883
01:04:50,120 --> 01:04:53,329
...based on an 11-dimensional string
model of the holographic universe.
884
01:04:53,520 --> 01:04:55,966
It'd require a highly advanced
mathematical construct...
885
01:04:56,160 --> 01:04:57,491
...far beyond M-theory...
886
01:04:57,680 --> 01:04:59,921
...probably alien in origin.
887
01:05:01,480 --> 01:05:02,811
What?
888
01:05:03,000 --> 01:05:06,209
I've been building the school bear
into a time machine for science class.
889
01:05:06,400 --> 01:05:09,529
So you're telling me it works? Cool.
890
01:05:09,720 --> 01:05:11,085
I hate this school.
891
01:05:11,400 --> 01:05:12,640
Where's Sander?
892
01:05:12,840 --> 01:05:14,285
And Clapton.
893
01:05:14,760 --> 01:05:17,604
He's terrified of the future.
Nobody hated Verge like Clapton.
894
01:05:17,800 --> 01:05:20,246
Clapton doesn't hate anyone
except Billy Nolan.
895
01:05:20,440 --> 01:05:21,680
Also dead.
896
01:05:21,880 --> 01:05:23,166
On, shit.
897
01:05:23,440 --> 01:05:26,887
I'll drop my extreme scepticism due to
the potential urgency of the situation.
898
01:05:27,080 --> 01:05:30,243
- How do we use your time machine?
- You'll break it.
899
01:05:30,440 --> 01:05:32,966
- I haven't been graded yet.
- You won't be graded at all...
900
01:05:33,160 --> 01:05:36,209
...if you haven't been born.
Show me how it works.
901
01:05:36,400 --> 01:05:39,483
No, show me.
I don't trust anyone right now.
902
01:05:39,680 --> 01:05:40,966
Maybe we don't trust you.
903
01:05:41,160 --> 01:05:45,006
It's personal.
I have to stop Clapton from killing us.
904
01:05:45,200 --> 01:05:48,010
Someone took this claw
from my locker.
905
01:06:12,040 --> 01:06:14,611
I'm sorry. But this is so cool.
906
01:06:14,800 --> 01:06:16,165
How much did those cost?
907
01:06:16,920 --> 01:06:18,081
A hundred dollars.
908
01:06:18,280 --> 01:06:19,611
For overalls?
909
01:06:19,800 --> 01:06:23,088
Did your parents sell out
to an evil corporate conglomerate?
910
01:06:25,120 --> 01:06:27,282
I'm never leaving this place.
911
01:06:54,520 --> 01:06:57,126
- Schwing!
- Schwing!
912
01:06:59,000 --> 01:07:01,128
That's why Mom left you.
913
01:07:06,720 --> 01:07:10,441
Okay, class, we talked last week
about quantum states.
914
01:07:10,640 --> 01:07:15,851
Now, can anybody tell me
what describes a mixed state?
915
01:07:16,040 --> 01:07:18,407
- New Mexico.
- No, Clapton.
916
01:07:18,600 --> 01:07:21,763
You already received your 15 percent
for participation mark.
917
01:07:21,960 --> 01:07:24,691
You don't have to give
the wrong answers any more.
918
01:07:24,880 --> 01:07:27,451
But nice work on your essay
on the Heisenberg principle.
919
01:07:27,640 --> 01:07:30,405
It was incorrect but it had heart.
920
01:07:30,600 --> 01:07:32,284
I gave you an A.
921
01:07:33,000 --> 01:07:34,889
He's a killer!
922
01:07:35,320 --> 01:07:36,810
I don't know this person.
923
01:07:37,000 --> 01:07:40,083
My class time will not be spent
on practical jokes.
924
01:07:40,280 --> 01:07:42,487
Clapton Davis is
my brightest student.
925
01:07:42,680 --> 01:07:45,923
Brightest?
He never does his homework.
926
01:07:46,120 --> 01:07:49,124
We figured it out, Clapton.
All this death is just a game to you.
927
01:07:49,320 --> 01:07:52,290
Why would I kill people? I chased
Sander through the time machine...
928
01:07:52,480 --> 01:07:55,211
...after he got Gord, lost him.
Been stuck here for six weeks.
929
01:07:55,400 --> 01:07:58,244
- But I'm on the honour roll.
- So then why does the world go away?
930
01:07:58,440 --> 01:08:00,283
Wait, is that why Verge
is building a bomb?
931
01:08:00,480 --> 01:08:02,244
- A bomb?
- Thought he was extra-crediting.
932
01:08:02,440 --> 01:08:04,124
In Osama bin Ladinism?
933
01:08:04,320 --> 01:08:06,004
I bet Sander's helping him.
934
01:08:06,280 --> 01:08:08,681
Unbelievable. You let
a mass murderer feel your bosom.
935
01:08:08,880 --> 01:08:11,690
Oh, my God.
We have to kill Sander.
936
01:08:11,880 --> 01:08:15,009
What are we, monsters?
Let's just kidnap him.
937
01:08:17,560 --> 01:08:20,325
And scene. Thank you.
938
01:08:20,520 --> 01:08:21,681
Shit!
939
01:08:23,720 --> 01:08:26,371
If time travel were to happen,
it would probably require...
940
01:08:26,560 --> 01:08:30,884
...a huge electrical force
of around 1.21, 1.22 gigawatts.
941
01:08:31,080 --> 01:08:35,165
See how crossing the nodes of your flux
capacitor generates a tachyon blast?
942
01:08:35,360 --> 01:08:37,681
I don't know who you are
or what you're trying--
943
01:08:37,880 --> 01:08:40,247
The way this is set up,
it's gonna blow your face off.
944
01:08:40,440 --> 01:08:41,851
Yeah, I'd like to see that.
945
01:08:42,040 --> 01:08:45,123
You defy death and turn into
a douche bag like Spock.
946
01:08:45,400 --> 01:08:47,528
Here, I made you a mix tape.
947
01:08:47,720 --> 01:08:48,926
That's so awesome.
948
01:08:50,280 --> 01:08:54,205
- Are you from, like, the year 2000?
- Yes, I come from the time where...
949
01:08:54,400 --> 01:08:56,687
...computers and machines
have overtaken the world...
950
01:08:56,880 --> 01:09:00,123
...and enslaved human bodies
as sources of infinite electrical power.
951
01:09:01,280 --> 01:09:03,009
That's stupid.
The food it would take--
952
01:09:03,200 --> 01:09:05,680
If you're not careful,
you'll create a chain of events...
953
01:09:05,880 --> 01:09:08,645
...leading to the complete annihilation
of the human race.
954
01:09:08,840 --> 01:09:12,561
Now make that bomb go off.
955
01:09:12,920 --> 01:09:15,366
I wanna kill everyone because
they snubbed me for prom.
956
01:09:15,560 --> 01:09:17,369
- That works.
- I like how you think, Mr...?
957
01:09:17,560 --> 01:09:19,722
Keanu.
958
01:09:21,320 --> 01:09:23,084
Excuse me.
Where is your hall pass?
959
01:09:23,280 --> 01:09:25,442
- Gosh-fucking-darn it.
- You get his legs.
960
01:09:28,960 --> 01:09:31,247
- Oh, my face!
- It didn't work.
961
01:09:33,680 --> 01:09:34,647
Don't be so sure.
962
01:09:36,080 --> 01:09:37,570
Come on!
963
01:10:12,200 --> 01:10:13,929
Riley, get back in the time machine.
964
01:10:27,560 --> 01:10:29,722
We've been sent back
six minutes before doomsday.
965
01:10:29,920 --> 01:10:31,285
We should have grabbed Verge.
966
01:10:31,480 --> 01:10:34,086
He had enough info to know
how to make the bomb go off.
967
01:10:34,280 --> 01:10:35,520
- New strategy.
- What?
968
01:10:35,720 --> 01:10:37,927
I don't know.
I'm saying we need one.
969
01:10:45,960 --> 01:10:47,405
I got nothing.
970
01:10:49,960 --> 01:10:54,727
If we weren't all dead in two minutes,
I would masturbate so hard...
971
01:10:54,920 --> 01:10:57,844
...to lone tonight.
-lone? You mean Sloan.
972
01:10:58,920 --> 01:11:02,481
Girls like Sloan will learn what happens
when they pass up guys like me.
973
01:11:05,000 --> 01:11:06,240
Let me see your bomb.
974
01:11:06,920 --> 01:11:08,206
- That's it.
- What's what?
975
01:11:08,400 --> 01:11:12,325
Verge is doing this because she broke
his heart. We force lone to go with him.
976
01:11:12,520 --> 01:11:14,488
Ione's going to prom with me.
Forget it.
977
01:11:14,680 --> 01:11:18,082
She'll go to prom with you in 2011
and with him in 1992.
978
01:11:18,280 --> 01:11:20,408
Yeah, I still don't think
I'm okay with that.
979
01:11:21,080 --> 01:11:22,161
Lone!
980
01:11:24,520 --> 01:11:27,683
You'll blow this for me.
I traded places with my mom.
981
01:11:27,880 --> 01:11:29,086
My name here is Sloan.
982
01:11:32,200 --> 01:11:33,565
Don't I get a kiss?
983
01:11:34,280 --> 01:11:35,486
No.
984
01:11:35,680 --> 01:11:37,523
Damn, I knew Sting
was too good to be true.
985
01:11:37,720 --> 01:11:39,927
- Your mom's a bitch.
- It was to win the contest.
986
01:11:40,120 --> 01:11:42,691
- I was gonna come back but--
- Being cool is that important?
987
01:11:42,880 --> 01:11:45,406
How hard is it to be cool in 1992?
988
01:11:45,600 --> 01:11:48,922
Plus, my mom's body fits great,
except...
989
01:11:49,120 --> 01:11:51,646
...I think I may be pregnant.
990
01:11:53,000 --> 01:11:54,809
Ione's giving birth to herself?
991
01:11:55,000 --> 01:11:56,331
I failed that class.
992
01:11:56,520 --> 01:11:59,922
You know how cool people
always refer to guacamole as "guac"?
993
01:12:00,120 --> 01:12:02,771
- I invented that.
-lone, you have to ask Verge to prom.
994
01:12:02,960 --> 01:12:04,962
Waiting for the punchline.
995
01:12:05,160 --> 01:12:08,369
People are getting killed. He's gonna
blow up Grizzly Lake in 56 seconds.
996
01:12:08,560 --> 01:12:10,449
You can keep living in 1992
if you want...
997
01:12:10,640 --> 01:12:13,166
...but the fate of everyone
you've ever known goes away...
998
01:12:13,360 --> 01:12:15,203
...unless you ask Verge to prom
right now.
999
01:12:15,400 --> 01:12:18,768
Screw that! I can't be forced
to go to prom with someone.
1000
01:12:18,960 --> 01:12:20,962
That's like date rape.
1001
01:12:21,160 --> 01:12:23,083
You heard of
the Dead Cheerleader Nationals?
1002
01:12:23,400 --> 01:12:25,084
They don't exist.
1003
01:12:25,280 --> 01:12:27,203
Verge, I was wondering...
1004
01:12:27,640 --> 01:12:29,290
What are you guys working on?
1005
01:12:29,480 --> 01:12:31,130
Now, lone. Eighteen seconds!
1006
01:12:31,320 --> 01:12:34,164
- Will you be my prom date?
- Your hair can look like Sharon Stone?
1007
01:12:34,360 --> 01:12:35,327
- What?
- What are you doing?
1008
01:12:35,520 --> 01:12:36,726
- Fine!
- Nine seconds.
1009
01:12:36,920 --> 01:12:38,888
- You go full tongue?
- Okay.
1010
01:12:39,080 --> 01:12:40,286
Cowabunga.
1011
01:12:41,040 --> 01:12:42,963
We can use my
Pizza Pitt coupons first.
1012
01:12:55,880 --> 01:12:57,689
Weren't we able to jump through
last time?
1013
01:12:57,880 --> 01:13:00,281
We surpassed the spatial
temporal limit of time travel.
1014
01:13:00,480 --> 01:13:02,084
What is that?
You just made that up.
1015
01:13:02,280 --> 01:13:04,248
Toshiba must have put
an on-off switch here.
1016
01:13:04,440 --> 01:13:06,522
Let's see.
1017
01:13:08,960 --> 01:13:10,371
Found it.
1018
01:13:14,560 --> 01:13:16,642
Come on!
1019
01:13:16,840 --> 01:13:19,207
That girl is going down on that bear.
1020
01:13:19,400 --> 01:13:22,244
- Come on!
- I knew that ass looked familiar.
1021
01:13:23,720 --> 01:13:26,007
- Come on, you bitch!
- Nice.
1022
01:13:28,240 --> 01:13:29,366
Who's her prom date?
1023
01:13:30,200 --> 01:13:32,248
All his parts are still working.
1024
01:13:32,440 --> 01:13:34,283
- Yeah, we gotta go.
- Come on.
1025
01:13:37,840 --> 01:13:39,842
Not so fast.
1026
01:13:40,040 --> 01:13:41,007
Oh, crap.
1027
01:14:02,640 --> 01:14:05,371
So everyone left detention
after Verge and Gord got killed?
1028
01:14:05,560 --> 01:14:08,803
Our band may not be the Drunges,
but I wouldn't say we got killed.
1029
01:14:09,000 --> 01:14:11,526
Oh, Principal Pimping,
don't listen to the haters.
1030
01:14:11,720 --> 01:14:13,563
You are my freakasaurus.
1031
01:14:14,560 --> 01:14:18,406
Since our lead vocalist is too busy
getting molested by Mrs. Verge...
1032
01:14:18,600 --> 01:14:20,921
I quit, I quit, I'm too wasted.
1033
01:14:21,120 --> 01:14:22,884
Verge! Verge! Verge!
1034
01:14:23,080 --> 01:14:26,721
I guess I'll sing the next song.
This one goes out to lone.
1035
01:14:26,920 --> 01:14:30,720
Because, lone,
you are my field of gold.
1036
01:14:30,920 --> 01:14:32,524
Hit it, Gord.
1037
01:14:35,640 --> 01:14:39,440
Toby T knows every
post-Police Sting album.
1038
01:14:41,800 --> 01:14:44,531
We changed the fabric
of space-time.
1039
01:14:44,760 --> 01:14:47,809
That or the bear fumes
have gotten me delusional.
1040
01:14:51,560 --> 01:14:55,201
- An A. That should do it.
- Verge!
1041
01:14:56,440 --> 01:14:58,204
Nineteen years ago today...
1042
01:14:58,400 --> 01:15:01,244
...I met the kindest man
I could ever imagine.
1043
01:15:01,440 --> 01:15:03,681
Who gave you the right to get
so much older than me?
1044
01:15:03,880 --> 01:15:06,804
Strange things happen
when you're young.
1045
01:15:07,000 --> 01:15:10,243
No! The punch bowl has been spiked.
You will not drink that, young lady.
1046
01:15:10,440 --> 01:15:12,841
Don't talk to me that way,
young lady.
1047
01:15:13,440 --> 01:15:17,161
All right, love-birds. I'm gonna steal
my hottie and grab some guac.
1048
01:15:18,280 --> 01:15:19,361
Guac.
1049
01:15:19,560 --> 01:15:21,927
And the world just threw up a little.
1050
01:15:22,120 --> 01:15:24,964
-"Love-birds"? Are we dating now?
- You got a problem with that?
1051
01:15:25,160 --> 01:15:26,400
Students.
1052
01:15:26,600 --> 01:15:31,208
I hate to interrupt but it is now time to
announce your prom king and queen.
1053
01:15:31,400 --> 01:15:33,289
Oh, you all know what the deal is.
1054
01:15:33,480 --> 01:15:34,970
Riley, Clapton...
1055
01:15:36,200 --> 01:15:38,282
...come on up here and dance.
1056
01:15:40,400 --> 01:15:41,640
- Clapton don't da--
- Shut up.
1057
01:15:41,840 --> 01:15:44,684
If you don't dance with me,
I will murder every last inch of you.
1058
01:15:44,960 --> 01:15:48,009
Well, in that case,
hold on a second.
1059
01:15:51,480 --> 01:15:52,481
Clapton don't dance.
1060
01:15:53,320 --> 01:15:55,288
So they say.
But when studying Road House...
1061
01:15:55,480 --> 01:15:57,881
...I got hooked on the rest
of Patrick Swayze's oeuvre.
1062
01:15:58,080 --> 01:16:00,162
If he can look cool dirty dancing...
1063
01:17:44,680 --> 01:17:47,206
ls everything really back to normal?
1064
01:17:48,280 --> 01:17:52,729
I guess if me getting an A and saving
the universe is considered normal.
1065
01:17:53,760 --> 01:17:58,322
Well, maybe normal's
not all it's cracked up to be.
1066
01:18:13,200 --> 01:18:14,440
We didn't change everything.
1067
01:18:34,600 --> 01:18:37,206
I mean, look at how tight
his jeans are.
1068
01:18:37,920 --> 01:18:40,082
- He's totally gay.
- Oh, you piece of shit!
1069
01:18:40,280 --> 01:18:43,045
You should have fucked me.
1070
01:18:46,000 --> 01:18:48,162
Think you can kill people
because you're a virgin?
1071
01:18:48,360 --> 01:18:50,328
That's the douchiest thing
I've ever heard.
1072
01:18:50,520 --> 01:18:53,763
Sander, I want my fish sticks.
1073
01:18:54,440 --> 01:18:55,487
Hey!
1074
01:18:55,680 --> 01:18:57,364
I stopped wearing Ed Hardy
junior year.
1075
01:18:57,560 --> 01:19:01,531
I'm sorry that you're all too busy
playing Sims Grizzly Lake to notice!
1076
01:19:01,720 --> 01:19:05,327
- Christian Audigier is the same shit.
- Really? Whatever.
1077
01:19:05,520 --> 01:19:08,000
- You're all Gossip Girls with Corollas!
- I take the bus.
1078
01:19:08,200 --> 01:19:11,921
And like wearing a movie mask
is so original.
1079
01:19:12,120 --> 01:19:13,485
Read a book.
1080
01:19:13,680 --> 01:19:16,160
It's called post-irony!
1081
01:19:16,360 --> 01:19:19,364
I used to think you were just some
middle-class chump with no game.
1082
01:19:19,560 --> 01:19:21,085
But those pity points ran out.
1083
01:19:21,560 --> 01:19:27,203
Oh, pity me from the wrist-slitting
herbivore over here?
1084
01:19:29,400 --> 01:19:31,050
"Clapton Davis doesn't love me.
1085
01:19:31,240 --> 01:19:33,720
Please kill me, God!"
1086
01:19:33,920 --> 01:19:35,922
You are pathetic!
1087
01:19:36,120 --> 01:19:39,090
All of your Grizzly Lake friends
are pathetic!
1088
01:19:41,480 --> 01:19:42,845
Except me. I'm all right.
1089
01:19:43,040 --> 01:19:45,281
God, why wasn't I born
some place cool, like Orlando?
1090
01:19:45,720 --> 01:19:46,767
God, you're a dick.
1091
01:19:47,080 --> 01:19:50,402
It breaks my spirit to see that bra size
wasted on someone like you.
1092
01:19:58,920 --> 01:20:01,127
You're about to be spanked
by the power of Swayze.
1093
01:20:01,320 --> 01:20:03,209
All Road House had were his fists.
1094
01:20:03,400 --> 01:20:06,483
In Under Siege,
Steven Seagal was a master chef.
1095
01:20:26,600 --> 01:20:28,250
Your fighting style is so obnoxious.
1096
01:20:28,520 --> 01:20:33,082
Seagal in On Deadly Ground.
Impenetrable defence.
1097
01:21:07,320 --> 01:21:09,482
On, God!
1098
01:21:24,000 --> 01:21:25,445
L 901 you
1099
01:21:25,640 --> 01:21:27,165
You got yourself.
1100
01:21:57,960 --> 01:22:01,407
Just another dead teenager
in Grizzly Lake.
1101
01:22:02,360 --> 01:22:04,647
I think he'll be the last.
1102
01:22:21,200 --> 01:22:24,522
Once upon a time,
the planet didn't burst into flames...
1103
01:22:24,720 --> 01:22:27,724
...everybody didn't die,
and life kept on...
1104
01:22:27,920 --> 01:22:31,163
...even though Sander thought that
he was the only one who mattered.
1105
01:22:31,360 --> 01:22:33,089
But every one of us was...
1106
01:22:35,560 --> 01:22:37,449
...a prince...
1107
01:22:43,120 --> 01:22:44,281
...a princess...
1108
01:22:49,960 --> 01:22:51,689
...a child...
1109
01:22:57,080 --> 01:22:58,047
a grown-up
1110
01:23:01,680 --> 01:23:03,648
...someone cool.
1111
01:23:05,960 --> 01:23:08,361
If you and Verge can't get home
at a reasonable hour...
1112
01:23:08,560 --> 01:23:10,483
...there's no Twitter for a month.
1113
01:23:10,680 --> 01:23:13,160
Oh, that's so unfair.
1114
01:23:13,360 --> 01:23:16,250
You're gonna let your daughter
ground you like that?
1115
01:23:16,440 --> 01:23:18,408
Yeah, good luck with that.
1116
01:23:23,160 --> 01:23:26,881
Sander saw no future for us
because he lived in the past.
1117
01:23:28,120 --> 01:23:30,202
So his experiment
was to end time itself.
1118
01:23:32,480 --> 01:23:34,369
But we now know
the greatest experiment...
1119
01:23:34,560 --> 01:23:37,769
...isn't travelling through time
or making bombs.
1120
01:23:43,720 --> 01:23:45,404
The only way to change the past...
1121
01:23:48,240 --> 01:23:49,446
...is to change the present.
1122
01:23:49,640 --> 01:23:54,601
So Sander was wrong. Even if
Grizzly Lake is lame, it's just a start.
1123
01:23:54,880 --> 01:23:57,087
A beginning, not an end.
1124
01:23:57,280 --> 01:24:01,080
And... And...
1125
01:24:02,240 --> 01:24:04,402
I can't think to this song.
1126
01:24:12,120 --> 01:24:15,249
We're live in Grizzly Lake
where what appears to be a UFO...
1127
01:24:15,440 --> 01:24:17,920
...Is descending
on a suburban commune.
1128
01:24:18,440 --> 01:24:21,444
I am a spokesman for the race alien
to your planet Earth.
1129
01:24:21,640 --> 01:24:25,611
First, we assimilated Canada and I
took the exact form of a Canadian.
1130
01:24:25,800 --> 01:24:27,689
I am part of a vegetable species.
1131
01:24:27,880 --> 01:24:29,928
You stupid humans
eat our sons and daughters...
1132
01:24:30,120 --> 01:24:31,804
...because you have
no self-confidence.
1133
01:24:32,320 --> 01:24:36,120
It's just high school.
It's not the end of the world.
1134
01:24:37,545 --> 01:24:48,345
Subtitles & Sync By
FridayToker