1 00:00:15,720 --> 00:00:22,319 # Figaro, Figaro, Figaro, Figaro, Figaro, Figaro, Figaro, Figaro, Figaro, Figaro, Figaro 2 00:00:22,400 --> 00:00:27,635 # Figaro! Son qua 3 00:00:27,720 --> 00:00:33,875 # Figaro qua, Figaro I�, Figaro qua, Figaro I�, Figaro su, Figaro gi�, Figaro su, Figaro gi� 4 00:00:33,960 --> 00:00:37,157 # Pronto prontissimo, son come il fulmine, sono il factotum della citt� 5 00:00:37,240 --> 00:00:41,392 # Della citt�, della citt�, della citt�, della citt� 6 00:00:41,480 --> 00:00:43,471 Phew! 7 00:00:46,040 --> 00:00:48,998 # Ah bravo Figaro, bravo bravissimo, ah bravo Figaro, bravo bravissimo 8 00:00:49,080 --> 00:00:51,799 # A te fortuna, a te fortuna, a te fortuna non mancher� 9 00:00:51,880 --> 00:00:54,917 # La la la la la la, la la la la la la, la la la la la la, la la la la 10 00:00:55,000 --> 00:00:58,515 # A te fortuna, a te fortuna, a te fortuna non mancher� 11 00:00:58,600 --> 00:01:04,080 # Sono il factotum della citt� 12 00:01:04,160 --> 00:01:07,470 # Della citt�, della citt� 13 00:01:07,560 --> 00:01:13,112 # Della citt� 14 00:01:14,440 --> 00:01:18,149 - Oops. - Salutations, snack. 15 00:01:18,240 --> 00:01:20,356 Yipe. On second thought... 16 00:01:20,800 --> 00:01:22,791 Yiiiiipe! 17 00:01:23,520 --> 00:01:25,476 9-1-1! 9-1-1! 18 00:01:25,560 --> 00:01:28,438 Police! Civic authorities! ASPCA! ASAP! 19 00:01:28,520 --> 00:01:31,080 Murder! Betrayal! Kidnapped! 20 00:01:31,160 --> 00:01:32,752 No, birdnapped! 21 00:01:33,840 --> 00:01:36,559 A cup of garlic, a twist of parakeet. 22 00:01:36,640 --> 00:01:39,029 Eat your heart out, Julia Child. 23 00:01:40,040 --> 00:01:45,353 Excuse me, but isn't it customary for the jailbird to get one telephone call? 24 00:01:45,800 --> 00:01:47,438 In your case, I think not. 25 00:01:47,520 --> 00:01:50,034 Afternoon snacks have few civil liberties. 26 00:01:50,120 --> 00:01:52,156 But I'm not wholly without heart. 27 00:01:52,520 --> 00:01:54,829 How about a nice soothing cigarette? 28 00:01:58,800 --> 00:02:00,870 Pah! Agh! Ugh! 29 00:02:00,960 --> 00:02:03,155 Oh, I will not do this. I cannot! 30 00:02:03,560 --> 00:02:07,519 Oh, what a foul way for a bird to die! I don't want to get beak cancer. 31 00:02:07,920 --> 00:02:09,990 No! My lungs are blackened! 32 00:02:10,080 --> 00:02:12,674 Here we go again. Cut, cut, cut! Roll it back. 33 00:02:12,760 --> 00:02:15,354 - Help me... - What are you doing? Daniel... 34 00:02:15,440 --> 00:02:18,238 That line is not in the script. Why did you add it? 35 00:02:18,320 --> 00:02:21,630 - I wanted to comment on the situation. - What situation? 36 00:02:21,960 --> 00:02:25,748 Shoving a cigarette into Pudgie's mouth is morally irresponsible. 37 00:02:25,840 --> 00:02:29,515 This is a cartoon, not a friggin' Oprah Winfrey Special. 38 00:02:29,600 --> 00:02:33,559 Lou, millions of kids see this cartoon. It's like telling them "Light up." 39 00:02:33,640 --> 00:02:37,189 You can't put words in Pudgie's mouth if his mouth isn't moving. 40 00:02:37,280 --> 00:02:40,795 It's voice-over. An interior monologue. Maybe even the voice of God. 41 00:02:41,000 --> 00:02:43,798 Pudgie, don't smoke. 42 00:02:43,880 --> 00:02:46,872 - Actors. - What? Let's ask the technicians. 43 00:02:46,960 --> 00:02:50,953 Do you think it's morally right to promote smoking to the youth of America? 44 00:02:52,040 --> 00:02:54,952 They're biased. That's a mistrial. 45 00:02:55,040 --> 00:02:58,396 Daniel, this session is costing the studio thousands. 46 00:02:58,480 --> 00:03:01,074 If you want a paycheck, stick to the script. 47 00:03:01,160 --> 00:03:05,039 If you want to play Gandhi, then do it on somebody else's time. 48 00:03:10,320 --> 00:03:13,551 Then I've got to do what I've got to do. 49 00:03:13,640 --> 00:03:16,438 That's very funny. Where the hell are you goin'? 50 00:03:16,520 --> 00:03:19,034 If you leave, you're not comin' back in. 51 00:03:19,120 --> 00:03:21,953 I'm not takin' any crap from you, pal. 52 00:03:22,040 --> 00:03:24,998 Well, in the words of Porky Pig: 53 00:03:25,080 --> 00:03:28,516 P- P-P-P-P-P-Piss off, Lou. 54 00:04:00,480 --> 00:04:03,199 - So what about that history test? - Don't ask. 55 00:04:03,680 --> 00:04:07,958 - Did you have fun in school? - I painted a picture of a rainbow. 56 00:04:10,760 --> 00:04:13,558 - Dad? - Daddy! 57 00:04:13,960 --> 00:04:15,951 Daddy! 58 00:04:19,600 --> 00:04:23,195 - I thought you couldn't pick us up. - Well, I got off early. 59 00:04:23,280 --> 00:04:27,637 - You mean you got fired? - No, I quit... for reasons of conscience. 60 00:04:27,720 --> 00:04:28,675 Actors. 61 00:04:28,760 --> 00:04:34,676 Dude, congratulations on your 12th birthday. Got a surprise for ya. 62 00:04:34,760 --> 00:04:36,751 - A stripper? - Ooh, please! 63 00:04:36,880 --> 00:04:38,632 - Two strippers? - Hoo-hah, boy! 64 00:04:38,720 --> 00:04:40,039 - A party? - Yes! 65 00:04:40,120 --> 00:04:42,111 No. No parties. 66 00:04:42,200 --> 00:04:45,636 Mom said you couldn't have one because of your report card. 67 00:04:45,720 --> 00:04:50,510 Mom's not gonna be home for another four hours, is she? 68 00:04:51,880 --> 00:04:55,668 Prepare yourself... for the wild kingdom. 69 00:05:15,480 --> 00:05:19,439 Coming up toward the very end. There she goes. And she wins that race. 70 00:05:19,520 --> 00:05:21,511 Come on off now. Here we go. 71 00:05:23,280 --> 00:05:25,271 You want to feed him? 72 00:05:26,640 --> 00:05:28,631 See if this guy will. 73 00:05:29,240 --> 00:05:31,037 Oops. Sorry. 74 00:05:31,760 --> 00:05:33,557 Shoo! Get out! 75 00:05:37,600 --> 00:05:39,875 Shoo! Shoo! 76 00:06:00,120 --> 00:06:03,908 - Gregory, Henderson and Hillard. - Miranda Hillard, please. 77 00:06:05,960 --> 00:06:10,795 I know what you're going for with these murals, but perhaps if they weren't so large. 78 00:06:10,880 --> 00:06:13,519 - And let's do steel windows, not wood. - Uh-huh. 79 00:06:13,600 --> 00:06:17,434 Eliminate the oriental rug. Let's try an Aubusson carpet. 80 00:06:17,520 --> 00:06:19,909 - More pink than red. - Good idea. 81 00:06:20,000 --> 00:06:21,991 Union Square Inn. This is better. 82 00:06:22,080 --> 00:06:27,074 More Arts and Crafts. A Dirk Van Erp lamp, a Stickley chair. Don't be seduced by chintz. 83 00:06:27,160 --> 00:06:29,879 Excuse me. Miranda, can I speak to you for a minute? 84 00:06:29,960 --> 00:06:32,155 - Yes. Excuse me. - Certainly. 85 00:06:32,240 --> 00:06:34,231 Just be one minute. 86 00:06:34,800 --> 00:06:38,110 I just got off the phone with a Stuart Dunmeyer. 87 00:06:38,200 --> 00:06:41,636 - Stuart Dunmeyer? - Mm-hm. He said you were acquaintances. 88 00:06:41,720 --> 00:06:42,994 Stuart Dunmeyer? 89 00:06:43,080 --> 00:06:47,073 He's putting millions into restoring the old Wellman mansion on Nob Hill. 90 00:06:47,160 --> 00:06:51,950 - He wants to make it into a $500-a-night B&B. - Yes, I read about it. 91 00:06:52,040 --> 00:06:54,998 - He's been doing very well. - Mm-hm, that's him. 92 00:06:55,080 --> 00:06:58,436 And he specifically asked for you, Miranda. 93 00:06:58,520 --> 00:07:00,033 He did? 94 00:07:00,120 --> 00:07:03,112 - I told him you'd call first thing tomorrow. - Yes, I will. 95 00:07:04,200 --> 00:07:07,510 Miss Hillard? The operator has a Gloria Chaney on hold. 96 00:07:07,600 --> 00:07:10,797 - She says it's an emergency. - Excuse me. 97 00:07:11,920 --> 00:07:13,319 Gloria? 98 00:07:25,320 --> 00:07:28,073 - Oh, my God! - Is this your residence, ma'am? 99 00:07:28,160 --> 00:07:30,151 Yes, I'm sorry to say it is. 100 00:07:30,240 --> 00:07:34,233 Are you aware it's illegal to possess barnyard animals in a residential area? 101 00:07:34,320 --> 00:07:38,108 - What if you're married to one? - We're also responding to a noise violation. 102 00:07:38,200 --> 00:07:42,352 I'm going to respond myself. I'm aawully sorry about this. I'll... 103 00:07:42,440 --> 00:07:44,431 You ate my begonias! God! 104 00:07:45,760 --> 00:07:47,751 Get out of my way! 105 00:07:51,800 --> 00:07:53,791 # Jump around 106 00:07:53,920 --> 00:07:55,911 # Jump around 107 00:07:56,040 --> 00:07:57,996 # Jump around 108 00:07:58,080 --> 00:08:00,355 # Jump up, jump up and get down 109 00:08:06,600 --> 00:08:09,398 # Everybody jump, jump, jump, jump, jump 110 00:08:18,000 --> 00:08:20,389 Oh... Shoo! Get! Get! 111 00:08:26,400 --> 00:08:28,550 # I'm the cream of the crop I rise to the top 112 00:08:28,640 --> 00:08:30,437 # I never eat a pig, cos a pig is a cop 113 00:08:30,520 --> 00:08:32,988 # Or better yet a Terminator like Arnold Schwarzenegger 114 00:08:33,080 --> 00:08:34,991 # Try to play me out, like as if my name was Sega 115 00:08:35,080 --> 00:08:37,150 # I'm comin' to get ya, I'm comin' to get ya 116 00:08:37,240 --> 00:08:39,231 # Spittin' out lyrics, homey I'll wet ya 117 00:08:39,320 --> 00:08:41,834 # I came to get down, I came to get down... 118 00:08:42,280 --> 00:08:43,713 Hah! 119 00:08:43,800 --> 00:08:46,268 Miranda! Whassup? 120 00:08:46,680 --> 00:08:48,989 You're home early, girlfriend. 121 00:08:49,080 --> 00:08:51,389 Havin' a birthday in the house. 122 00:08:51,600 --> 00:08:53,989 What the hell is going on around here? 123 00:08:54,080 --> 00:08:56,594 Don't get mad, honey. Listen. 124 00:08:56,680 --> 00:09:01,276 You're home a little early. I was gonna clean it all up before you got home. 125 00:09:01,360 --> 00:09:03,828 # Jump, jump, jump, jump, jump... 126 00:09:03,920 --> 00:09:06,229 Honey... What are you looking for? 127 00:09:07,920 --> 00:09:10,593 I'd be careful. That pony had a lot of water. 128 00:09:19,440 --> 00:09:21,158 Party's over. 129 00:09:24,640 --> 00:09:28,110 She called you and you bust the birthday party. Great 130 00:09:28,200 --> 00:09:31,749 Don't you dare make me out to be the monster here, Daniel! 131 00:09:31,840 --> 00:09:34,400 You have all the fun and I get whatever's left over. 132 00:09:34,480 --> 00:09:38,712 - You chose the career. - I have no choices here. I have no choices! 133 00:09:38,800 --> 00:09:42,110 Even when I try to do something fun, you do it ten times bigger! 134 00:09:42,200 --> 00:09:45,795 I bring home a cake and gifts. You bring the goddamn San Diego Zoo! 135 00:09:45,880 --> 00:09:49,839 - And I have to clean up! - It's not toxic waste, just a few party plates! 136 00:09:49,920 --> 00:09:52,798 Why am I the only one that feels there has to be rules? 137 00:09:52,880 --> 00:09:55,155 Why do you always make me out to be the heavy? 138 00:09:55,240 --> 00:09:57,913 I don't. You do it yourself quite naturally. 139 00:09:58,000 --> 00:10:01,675 - You set me up every time to be the bad guy. - Oh, lighten up, will ya? 140 00:10:01,760 --> 00:10:05,912 You spend too much time with those corporate clones you used to despise. 141 00:10:06,000 --> 00:10:08,753 I spend too much time with you, Daniel. It's over! 142 00:10:08,840 --> 00:10:10,831 It's over. 143 00:10:12,560 --> 00:10:17,236 Come on, Miranda. We've got problems, but who doesn't? We could work 'em out. 144 00:10:17,560 --> 00:10:21,075 We've been trying to work them out for 14 years. 145 00:10:21,160 --> 00:10:25,790 Come on, please. Listen. Maybe we need some help, OK? 146 00:10:25,880 --> 00:10:28,872 Maybe a family therapist will help us do this together. 147 00:10:28,960 --> 00:10:30,916 It's too late for that. 148 00:10:31,000 --> 00:10:35,391 Well, let's take a vacation with the kids, as a family. Get you away from work. 149 00:10:35,480 --> 00:10:38,711 You're a different person. You really are. You're great. 150 00:10:38,800 --> 00:10:42,156 Our problems would be waiting for us when we got back. 151 00:10:42,240 --> 00:10:45,471 We'll move, and hopefully our problems won't follow us. 152 00:10:45,560 --> 00:10:47,710 Daniel, please don't joke. 153 00:10:48,960 --> 00:10:50,837 OK. 154 00:10:52,520 --> 00:10:57,230 Yeah. We've just grown apart. We're different. 155 00:10:57,320 --> 00:11:01,279 - We have nothing in common. - Oh, sure we do. We love each other. 156 00:11:07,240 --> 00:11:10,232 Come on, Miranda. We love each other. 157 00:11:14,720 --> 00:11:16,711 Don't we? 158 00:11:20,760 --> 00:11:22,751 I want a divorce. 159 00:11:24,080 --> 00:11:26,071 No. 160 00:11:32,120 --> 00:11:35,271 We can't. We're a family. You know? 161 00:11:37,040 --> 00:11:39,031 I'm so sorry. 162 00:12:17,200 --> 00:12:19,191 Yeah, Ma, he told me all about it. 163 00:12:20,520 --> 00:12:22,511 Yeah, Ma. I heard, I heard. 164 00:12:24,200 --> 00:12:27,078 - Well, yeah, he's here. - No. 165 00:12:28,040 --> 00:12:30,554 Ma, he's not really in the mood to talk. 166 00:12:30,640 --> 00:12:33,950 Yeah, depressed. I mean, his marriage is ending. 167 00:12:34,040 --> 00:12:38,113 My marriage is not ending. It's just on hiatus. 168 00:12:40,720 --> 00:12:43,029 Ma, I think he's in a little bit of denial. 169 00:12:43,120 --> 00:12:46,635 No, we're taking good care of your little boy. Don't worry, Mom. 170 00:12:46,720 --> 00:12:49,951 - Hi, Evelyn. Thanks for the jam. - She says you're welcome. 171 00:12:50,040 --> 00:12:53,316 That beige concealer. When are we gettin' more of it? 172 00:12:53,400 --> 00:12:55,994 - Next week. - You hear that, Ma? Next week. 173 00:12:56,120 --> 00:12:57,792 Wait, hang on. 174 00:12:57,880 --> 00:13:00,519 - Enough already. It's a man. - How would you know? 175 00:13:00,600 --> 00:13:02,238 Bitch. 176 00:13:02,320 --> 00:13:05,551 No, Ma, not you. I was talkin' about the dog. 177 00:13:06,000 --> 00:13:09,117 Ma, listen. We got people waitin' for us on the set. 178 00:13:09,200 --> 00:13:12,829 Oh, yeah. It's a busy life, Ma. Places to go, faces to paint. 179 00:13:13,480 --> 00:13:15,357 Yeah, I'll tell him, Ma. 180 00:13:15,440 --> 00:13:17,192 Don't worry, I'll tell him. 181 00:13:17,280 --> 00:13:18,713 Yeah. Hold on, Ma. 182 00:13:18,920 --> 00:13:21,753 She wants to know if you want to come stay with her. 183 00:13:21,840 --> 00:13:25,515 - No way. - He says he'll think about it, Ma. 184 00:13:26,280 --> 00:13:28,350 I will. All right. I love you, too. 185 00:13:28,440 --> 00:13:30,431 Bye, Ma. 186 00:13:31,000 --> 00:13:35,471 Hey, listen, you know you can always stay with us just as long as you want. 187 00:13:35,560 --> 00:13:39,792 Thank you, but I'm OK, really. I mean, this is just a temporary thing. 188 00:13:39,880 --> 00:13:42,519 I know Miranda. It's gonna blow over. 189 00:13:46,960 --> 00:13:52,512 Mr. and Mrs. Hillard, although these custody proceedings tend to favour the mother,... 190 00:13:52,600 --> 00:13:57,674 ...we also realise, perhaps now more than ever, that it is not in a child's best interest... 191 00:13:57,760 --> 00:14:00,832 ...to deprive him or her of an obviously loving father. 192 00:14:02,640 --> 00:14:08,954 However, since at the present time Mr. Hillard has no place to live and no employment,... 193 00:14:09,040 --> 00:14:12,999 ...it is the court's ruling to award sole custody to Mrs. Hillard. 194 00:14:13,080 --> 00:14:15,275 - Congratulations. - No. 195 00:14:15,360 --> 00:14:18,750 Mr. Hillard will have visitation rights every Saturday. 196 00:14:18,840 --> 00:14:21,149 - Can't you do something? - He's made his decision. 197 00:14:21,240 --> 00:14:24,437 Isn't it traditional to say "I object" or something? 198 00:14:24,520 --> 00:14:26,238 Your Honour, please. 199 00:14:27,440 --> 00:14:29,635 Every Saturday? That's one day a week. 200 00:14:29,720 --> 00:14:31,995 That's not enough. 201 00:14:32,080 --> 00:14:37,029 I have to be with my children. It's not a question. I have to be with them, sir. Please. 202 00:14:37,120 --> 00:14:40,510 I know it seems like a lot, but for me it's not enough. Really. 203 00:14:40,600 --> 00:14:45,116 I haven't been away from 'em for more than one day since the day they were born. 204 00:14:45,200 --> 00:14:48,909 - Mr. Hillard, this ruling is only temporary. - Oh, good. 205 00:14:49,000 --> 00:14:52,072 I will assign a court liaison to oversee your case. 206 00:14:52,160 --> 00:14:55,311 There will be a continuance of these proceedings in 90 days. 207 00:14:55,400 --> 00:14:58,233 - I'm giving you three months, Mr. Hillard. - Thank you. 208 00:14:58,320 --> 00:15:02,791 Three months in which to get a job, keep it and create a suitable home. 209 00:15:02,880 --> 00:15:05,394 If this proves to be a possibility for you,... 210 00:15:05,480 --> 00:15:11,077 ...I will consider a joint-custody arrangement when we reconvene. We're adjourned. 211 00:15:12,120 --> 00:15:15,795 Well, it looks like there is a little light at the end of our tunnel. 212 00:15:45,200 --> 00:15:48,431 - That's all my stuff. - This is all my fault. 213 00:15:48,840 --> 00:15:51,229 God, no. Why would you think that? 214 00:15:51,320 --> 00:15:53,754 I should have never had a birthday, Dad. 215 00:15:53,840 --> 00:15:56,638 - This never would have happened. - Yes, it would. 216 00:15:56,720 --> 00:15:59,871 It was an accident waiting to happen, OK? 217 00:15:59,960 --> 00:16:02,394 You did nothing wrong. You got that? 218 00:16:03,520 --> 00:16:05,511 OK, gimme five. 219 00:16:11,880 --> 00:16:13,871 You're the man of the house now. 220 00:16:13,960 --> 00:16:15,951 Don't be messy. 221 00:16:17,040 --> 00:16:19,998 - You can't go now. - Honey, I have to. 222 00:16:20,560 --> 00:16:25,156 We're in the middle of Charlotte's Web. Who's gonna finish it? 223 00:16:25,760 --> 00:16:28,194 Well, Grandma will finish it for you. 224 00:16:30,000 --> 00:16:34,869 She's not as good. She always skips parts, and she never does the voices. 225 00:16:34,960 --> 00:16:36,951 She smells funny, too. 226 00:16:37,200 --> 00:16:41,034 That's the formaldehyde. That's why Granny's so well preserved. 227 00:16:42,400 --> 00:16:44,755 Hey, come here. 228 00:16:45,760 --> 00:16:50,834 Hey! It's the same as always. We just have a really big backyard, OK? 229 00:16:50,920 --> 00:16:53,798 - I love you. - I love you. 230 00:16:56,960 --> 00:17:00,714 I'll miss you. Saturday comes real quick. 231 00:17:02,200 --> 00:17:05,397 - I'll miss you. - Ditto. 232 00:17:05,920 --> 00:17:07,638 Oh, Dad... 233 00:17:09,840 --> 00:17:11,831 - Take care of her. - OK. 234 00:17:13,960 --> 00:17:15,951 Goodbye. 235 00:17:20,920 --> 00:17:23,309 Thanks for the time, warden. 236 00:17:28,440 --> 00:17:30,431 Bye, Dad. 237 00:17:49,840 --> 00:17:53,196 As your court liaison, I will be looking at two things. 238 00:17:53,280 --> 00:17:57,353 - Your living environment... - It's more like a habitat, really. 239 00:17:58,600 --> 00:18:03,799 And I will be coming by on Monday and Friday evenings to inspect it. 240 00:18:03,880 --> 00:18:05,791 Well, I'll put on a chicken. 241 00:18:06,520 --> 00:18:08,556 And there's always the job issue. 242 00:18:08,640 --> 00:18:14,033 This is the nearest employment office. I took the liberty of making an appointment for you. 243 00:18:14,120 --> 00:18:17,715 - Thank you. - By the way, do you have any special skills? 244 00:18:17,800 --> 00:18:19,791 Oh, yes. I do. 245 00:18:19,880 --> 00:18:21,836 I do voices. 246 00:18:22,320 --> 00:18:24,470 What do you mean, you do voices? 247 00:18:25,200 --> 00:18:27,509 Vell, I do voices. 248 00:18:27,600 --> 00:18:28,510 Yes! 249 00:18:28,600 --> 00:18:31,353 We're looking for intelligent life. Oops, mistake! 250 00:18:31,440 --> 00:18:34,637 Happy to be in America. Don't ask for a green card. 251 00:18:34,720 --> 00:18:37,109 I want you in the worst way. 252 00:18:37,200 --> 00:18:40,829 This meeting is certainly not going well for me. 253 00:18:40,920 --> 00:18:44,435 Hey, boss, give her a chance. She's gonna loosen up any moment. 254 00:18:44,520 --> 00:18:48,308 Moneypenny, I want to undo that bow and get to know you. 255 00:18:48,400 --> 00:18:50,755 I'm crazy to make a deal with you! 256 00:18:50,840 --> 00:18:53,593 Nancy and I are looking for the other half of my head. 257 00:18:53,680 --> 00:18:57,309 They're doin' it! I'm sittin' on a gold mine! 258 00:18:57,400 --> 00:18:59,277 Don't make me smack you, sweetheart. 259 00:18:59,360 --> 00:19:00,349 # Figaro! 260 00:19:00,440 --> 00:19:02,590 I do a great impression of a hot dog. 261 00:19:05,640 --> 00:19:08,154 Mr. Hillard, do you consider yourself humorous? 262 00:19:08,240 --> 00:19:10,231 I used to. 263 00:19:10,320 --> 00:19:13,357 There was a time when I found myself funny. 264 00:19:13,440 --> 00:19:16,432 But today you have proven me wrong. Thank you. 265 00:19:18,640 --> 00:19:20,676 Listen, bottom line... 266 00:19:21,440 --> 00:19:25,149 I need to be with my children, and I'll do anything to do that. 267 00:19:25,240 --> 00:19:27,231 You just tell me what to do. 268 00:19:44,720 --> 00:19:46,995 - Excuse me. You Tony? - That's me. 269 00:19:47,080 --> 00:19:49,913 Hi. I'm Daniel Hillard, the actor. 270 00:19:51,320 --> 00:19:53,914 Follow me. 271 00:19:55,760 --> 00:19:59,514 Oh, films! Will I be introducing these movies on air? 272 00:19:59,600 --> 00:20:01,955 - Not exactly. - What do I do? 273 00:20:02,040 --> 00:20:05,157 You take all these cans. You box 'em and you ship 'em. 274 00:20:05,240 --> 00:20:08,710 Then you box those cans over there. Ship them. Then more will come in. 275 00:20:09,120 --> 00:20:11,588 You box those, you ship those. 276 00:20:11,680 --> 00:20:13,671 Any questions? 277 00:20:14,760 --> 00:20:16,796 After you box 'em...? 278 00:20:16,880 --> 00:20:18,996 You ship 'em. 279 00:20:19,080 --> 00:20:21,071 Lots of luck, smart-ass. 280 00:20:24,560 --> 00:20:27,358 I think I made a friend. 281 00:20:33,480 --> 00:20:36,278 - Miranda. - Stu! 282 00:20:41,400 --> 00:20:43,755 Hello, Miranda. 283 00:20:43,840 --> 00:20:46,434 - It's been a long time. - Yes. 284 00:20:49,400 --> 00:20:52,995 Mr. Dunmeyer's come by to look over your sketches. 285 00:20:53,840 --> 00:20:55,159 Um... 286 00:20:55,240 --> 00:20:57,754 Let me show you to the conference room. 287 00:20:58,480 --> 00:21:01,552 As you probably know, the estate was built in 1876. 288 00:21:01,640 --> 00:21:05,952 These sketches are meant to reflect your desire to have it completely restored. 289 00:21:06,040 --> 00:21:07,951 You look better than ever. 290 00:21:08,040 --> 00:21:13,319 The lobby will resemble a music salon with inspiration from the French Second Empire. 291 00:21:13,400 --> 00:21:16,198 I was thinking a 17th-century grand piano... 292 00:21:16,280 --> 00:21:19,716 I've been following your career these past couple of years. 293 00:21:19,800 --> 00:21:24,510 A tufted sofa, a Flemish tapestry, a brass-bound Regency-style table... 294 00:21:24,600 --> 00:21:28,195 I'd love to get reacquainted. Catch up. 295 00:21:29,560 --> 00:21:31,835 Mantel clocks,... 296 00:21:31,920 --> 00:21:34,673 ...fringed, upholstered chairs, heavy drapes. 297 00:21:34,760 --> 00:21:37,274 Can we talk? Over dinner, maybe? 298 00:21:39,440 --> 00:21:42,193 Stuart, thank you. I... I... 299 00:21:42,280 --> 00:21:45,431 I... I'm at the beginning of a divorce. 300 00:21:46,880 --> 00:21:48,871 It just didn't work out. 301 00:21:48,960 --> 00:21:52,157 - Oh, Miranda, I'm sorry. - You don't have to say that. 302 00:21:52,240 --> 00:21:56,711 No, really. I mean, I never held any grudges or anything. I just... 303 00:21:56,800 --> 00:21:59,917 Well, I always hoped you'd find happiness. 304 00:22:00,400 --> 00:22:02,436 Oh, God, that's so nice. 305 00:22:02,520 --> 00:22:06,718 I was just worried my coming in here might scare you off the project. 306 00:22:06,800 --> 00:22:08,791 No, no. Of course not. I... 307 00:22:09,760 --> 00:22:11,990 I'm a professional. I'm... 308 00:22:12,080 --> 00:22:17,074 I was flattered that you thought of me after all these years and everything. 309 00:22:17,640 --> 00:22:19,710 Yeah, everything. 310 00:22:19,800 --> 00:22:22,872 Well... Ancient history. 311 00:22:23,480 --> 00:22:25,152 Yeah. 312 00:22:25,720 --> 00:22:27,711 Yeah. 313 00:22:29,880 --> 00:22:32,553 - I'm late. I've got a meeting at the bank. - Oh. 314 00:22:36,320 --> 00:22:38,914 Can we talk maybe later in the week? 315 00:22:39,000 --> 00:22:41,673 - Sure. - Good. 316 00:22:41,760 --> 00:22:44,149 It's good to see you again. 317 00:23:04,840 --> 00:23:06,831 Mmm, good, huh? 318 00:23:09,840 --> 00:23:13,310 I know the place doesn't look like much now, but... 319 00:23:13,400 --> 00:23:15,789 ...it'll be OK. How do you like it? 320 00:23:17,200 --> 00:23:19,589 - Nice. - It's OK. 321 00:23:19,680 --> 00:23:21,591 Detestable. 322 00:23:22,880 --> 00:23:24,916 Hey, just give me some time. 323 00:23:25,320 --> 00:23:28,118 I'm not too comfortable with this new lifestyle. 324 00:23:28,200 --> 00:23:30,031 Neither are we. 325 00:23:30,560 --> 00:23:32,949 I know it's hard, sweetie. 326 00:23:34,120 --> 00:23:36,429 Can't you just tell Mom you're sorry? 327 00:23:38,800 --> 00:23:41,189 Wish I could. 328 00:23:41,280 --> 00:23:43,510 You know, grown-up problems... 329 00:23:43,600 --> 00:23:46,319 They're a little more complicated, Nattie. 330 00:23:49,400 --> 00:23:51,550 How is the old battle-axe? 331 00:23:52,120 --> 00:23:54,429 - Your mom. - She's fine. 332 00:23:54,520 --> 00:23:56,909 Oh. I'm glad to hear that. 333 00:23:58,000 --> 00:24:02,630 I'd hate to think that she came down with amoebic dysentery or piles. 334 00:24:02,720 --> 00:24:04,915 What's amoebic dysentery? 335 00:24:05,640 --> 00:24:09,076 It's an infection in your tummy where you get diarrhoea for ever. 336 00:24:09,160 --> 00:24:12,914 - Diarrhoea for ever? - And your body dries up and you die. 337 00:24:13,000 --> 00:24:16,117 - You die? - You don't have to be so graphic with her. 338 00:24:16,200 --> 00:24:21,479 - I read about it in a science book. - Why would you want Mommy to die? 339 00:24:21,920 --> 00:24:24,798 Oh, honey, I don't want Mommy to die. 340 00:24:25,400 --> 00:24:27,709 Then why did you say that? 341 00:24:30,080 --> 00:24:33,755 Look, Dad, you're not trying very hard. 342 00:24:33,840 --> 00:24:37,879 We only get to come here once a week. That's not very much. 343 00:24:37,960 --> 00:24:41,555 You're right. I'm sorry. I'll try harder. 344 00:24:42,600 --> 00:24:46,229 Nattie, I'll think good thoughts, OK? 345 00:24:46,520 --> 00:24:51,036 - About Mommy? - I'll try. I really will. 346 00:24:51,120 --> 00:24:54,874 - And call her a princess. - Oh... Oh, yes. 347 00:24:56,040 --> 00:24:59,476 And right now I feel like a toad. 348 00:25:01,040 --> 00:25:02,837 Daddy's a toad. 349 00:25:10,080 --> 00:25:12,594 - That's Mom. - Can't be. She's an hour early. 350 00:25:12,920 --> 00:25:14,956 Come on, Nattie, we gotta go. 351 00:25:15,720 --> 00:25:17,756 No, no! Come on, sit down, sit down. 352 00:25:17,840 --> 00:25:19,512 Sit down! 353 00:25:19,600 --> 00:25:22,717 You don't have to run off when she honks the horn. 354 00:25:22,800 --> 00:25:25,394 Come on, you're on my time now. 355 00:25:25,480 --> 00:25:28,392 You're my goddamn kids, too! 356 00:25:33,840 --> 00:25:36,070 Come on. Hey. 357 00:25:44,160 --> 00:25:45,752 Hi. 358 00:25:46,080 --> 00:25:48,913 Oh, Daniel... Charming. 359 00:25:49,000 --> 00:25:52,515 Thank you, Miranda. I was going for a refugee motif. 360 00:25:52,600 --> 00:25:54,909 Fleeing-my-homeland kind of thing. 361 00:25:55,160 --> 00:25:56,957 But look at you! 362 00:25:57,040 --> 00:26:01,670 This lovely Dances with Wolves motif. What's your Indian name: Shops With A Fist? 363 00:26:01,920 --> 00:26:05,230 - Are my children ready yet? - No, our children are not ready yet... 364 00:26:05,320 --> 00:26:09,313 .. because you are an hour early and you were late dropping them off. 365 00:26:09,400 --> 00:26:15,077 Daniel, I don't have time for this. I have to drop something off at the newspaper office. 366 00:26:15,160 --> 00:26:18,277 Newspaper? Are you taking out one of those personal ads? 367 00:26:18,360 --> 00:26:22,876 "DWF seeks WWM with BMW, into light B&D"? 368 00:26:23,080 --> 00:26:25,310 I'm placing an ad for a housekeeper. 369 00:26:26,480 --> 00:26:29,631 Housekeeper? Why do you need a housekeeper? 370 00:26:29,720 --> 00:26:35,192 I need someone to be there when the children get home from school, to clean, start dinner... 371 00:26:35,280 --> 00:26:38,511 - How much are you gonna pay? - $300 a week. Is that all right? 372 00:26:38,880 --> 00:26:40,871 300... 373 00:26:41,400 --> 00:26:43,675 May I see the ad? 374 00:26:43,760 --> 00:26:48,436 - I have a right as their father. Please? - All right. Anything else you wanna see? 375 00:26:48,520 --> 00:26:51,080 - Are you offering? - Not any more. 376 00:26:51,160 --> 00:26:52,639 What's the change? 377 00:26:52,720 --> 00:26:55,598 - Are you guys all right? - Yeah, Mommy. We're fine. 378 00:26:55,680 --> 00:26:57,079 Ugh! 379 00:26:57,160 --> 00:26:59,594 Miranda, why not let me take care of the kids? 380 00:26:59,680 --> 00:27:04,356 I'll pick 'em up after school, be with them, then drop them off at your house after work. 381 00:27:04,440 --> 00:27:05,998 - That'd be great! - Please! 382 00:27:06,080 --> 00:27:08,674 - Look. The kids love it. - Mommy, please! 383 00:27:08,760 --> 00:27:11,228 I'll think about it. 384 00:27:15,320 --> 00:27:18,118 We're his goddamn kids, too. 385 00:27:22,640 --> 00:27:24,437 Kids say the darndest things. 386 00:27:25,200 --> 00:27:30,797 Thank you. Any other choice phrases you'd like to teach our five-year-old, Daniel? 387 00:27:31,360 --> 00:27:34,989 Oh...! Come on, everybody get their coats. Come on. 388 00:27:35,080 --> 00:27:38,311 - Put them on and let's get out of here. - OK, Mom. 389 00:27:38,400 --> 00:27:42,712 I would say go to the bathroom before we go, but I don't think that's a good idea. 390 00:27:47,000 --> 00:27:49,878 Don't forget anything. I don't wanna come back. 391 00:27:49,960 --> 00:27:51,916 Come on, let's go. 392 00:27:52,320 --> 00:27:55,312 - See you Saturday. - Say goodbye to your father. 393 00:27:55,400 --> 00:27:57,391 Goodbye, Daddy. 394 00:27:59,040 --> 00:28:01,270 - Here's your ad. - I'll get my purse. 395 00:28:01,360 --> 00:28:03,351 Yeah, you'd better. 396 00:28:17,560 --> 00:28:20,518 Hello. Are you calling in response to the ad? 397 00:28:20,600 --> 00:28:22,033 Uh-huh. 398 00:28:22,120 --> 00:28:26,398 - Who was your previous employer? - I was in a band. Severe Tyre Damage. 399 00:28:26,480 --> 00:28:28,914 - In a band? - I just wanna know one thing. 400 00:28:29,000 --> 00:28:33,915 Are your kids well-behaved, or do they need, like, a few light slams every now and then? 401 00:28:34,280 --> 00:28:37,511 - Um... I'll have to get back to you. - Wow! 402 00:28:40,640 --> 00:28:43,313 My name is Ilsa Himmelman. 403 00:28:43,400 --> 00:28:45,356 How many children do you have? 404 00:28:45,440 --> 00:28:48,830 - I have two girls and a boy. - Oh, a boy! 405 00:28:48,920 --> 00:28:52,515 I don't work with the males cos I used to be one. 406 00:28:55,080 --> 00:28:56,274 Yikes. 407 00:28:59,800 --> 00:29:01,791 Hello. 408 00:29:01,880 --> 00:29:06,396 Leyla, get back in your cell! Don't make me get the hose! 409 00:29:06,480 --> 00:29:07,469 Hello? 410 00:29:12,200 --> 00:29:15,033 I... am... job. 411 00:29:15,960 --> 00:29:19,953 - Do you speak English? - I... am... job. 412 00:29:20,240 --> 00:29:23,073 I'm sorry. The position has been filled. 413 00:29:23,160 --> 00:29:25,549 Oh, what a nightmare! 414 00:29:26,880 --> 00:29:29,917 Let's go in for the kill. 415 00:29:38,120 --> 00:29:40,270 - Hello? - Hello. 416 00:29:40,360 --> 00:29:43,352 I'm calling in regards to the ad I read in the paper. 417 00:29:45,360 --> 00:29:49,114 Yes... Well, would you tell me a little bit about yourself? 418 00:29:49,360 --> 00:29:51,351 Oh, certainly, dear. 419 00:29:51,440 --> 00:29:56,230 For the past 15 years I've worked for the Smythe family of Elbourne, England. 420 00:29:56,320 --> 00:29:58,311 That's Smythe, not Smith, dear. 421 00:29:58,920 --> 00:30:04,916 And for them, I did housecleaning, cooking, and took care of their four glorious children. 422 00:30:05,000 --> 00:30:10,518 Oh, I grew quite attached to them after 15 years, but they grew up, as children tend to. 423 00:30:10,600 --> 00:30:15,549 Oh, but listen to me. I am going on when you should be telling me about your little ones. 424 00:30:15,640 --> 00:30:18,632 - Well, I have two girls... - Oh, two precious gems. 425 00:30:18,720 --> 00:30:20,836 No doubt the jewel of your eye. 426 00:30:20,920 --> 00:30:25,038 - And one boy. - Oh, the little prince. How wonderful. 427 00:30:25,520 --> 00:30:28,432 I must tell you, a little light cooking is required. 428 00:30:28,520 --> 00:30:31,398 Oh, I don't mind that, dear. I'd love some heavy cooking. 429 00:30:31,480 --> 00:30:35,792 But I do have one rule: they'll only eat good, nutritious food with me. 430 00:30:35,880 --> 00:30:39,953 And if there's any dispute, it's either good, wholesome food or empty tummies. 431 00:30:40,040 --> 00:30:42,838 That's my rule. I hope it's not too harsh for you, dear. 432 00:30:43,440 --> 00:30:45,112 No! Um... 433 00:30:45,200 --> 00:30:49,318 Would you mind coming on an interview? Say, Monday night at 7.30% 434 00:30:49,400 --> 00:30:52,119 - Oh, I'd love to, dear. - Wonderful. 435 00:30:52,640 --> 00:30:56,952 I'm at 2640 Steiner Street. 436 00:30:57,040 --> 00:30:59,190 Steiner. Oh, how lovely. 437 00:30:59,680 --> 00:31:03,195 - Could you tell me your name? - My name? 438 00:31:03,760 --> 00:31:06,274 I thought I gave it to you, dear. 439 00:31:06,360 --> 00:31:08,749 - No. - Oh! 440 00:31:12,400 --> 00:31:14,960 - Doubtfire. - I beg your pardon? 441 00:31:15,240 --> 00:31:18,312 Doubtfire, dear. Mrs. Doubtfire. 442 00:31:18,400 --> 00:31:22,712 - Well, I look forward to meeting you. - Oh, lovely, dear. Me, too. 443 00:31:22,800 --> 00:31:25,189 - Bye-bye. - Ta-ta. 444 00:31:28,680 --> 00:31:30,671 Showtime. 445 00:31:35,560 --> 00:31:38,313 - Daniel, hi. - Could you make me a woman? 446 00:31:39,600 --> 00:31:42,512 Honey, I'm so happy! 447 00:31:42,600 --> 00:31:45,114 - Oh, come here. - I knew you'd understand. 448 00:31:47,360 --> 00:31:49,954 - Is this gonna hurt? - Don't whine. Just relax. 449 00:31:50,040 --> 00:31:52,873 - Are you sure? - Just remember, pain is beauty. 450 00:31:52,960 --> 00:31:56,589 - OK, take a deep breath... Instant eye lift. - Whoa. 451 00:31:58,160 --> 00:32:00,230 And the strings are under the wig. 452 00:32:00,720 --> 00:32:05,714 - The man has five-o'clock shadow at 8.30am. - All right, we'll start with make-up. 453 00:32:05,800 --> 00:32:09,236 - I'm not gonna wax. - Don't worry. We'll just lightly spackle. 454 00:32:09,320 --> 00:32:12,676 - I feel like Gloria Swanson. - You look like her mother. 455 00:32:12,920 --> 00:32:16,230 I'm ready for my close-up, Mr. DeMille. 456 00:32:16,320 --> 00:32:19,551 OK, everyone... Let's pray. 457 00:32:22,480 --> 00:32:26,075 I hope you are using Jungle Red. That is the colour I love. 458 00:32:26,160 --> 00:32:28,151 - Matches your lips. - God bless you. 459 00:32:28,240 --> 00:32:31,471 I'm feeling fabulous because I met this beautiful Cuban. 460 00:32:31,560 --> 00:32:33,869 Every night is like the Bay of Pigs. 461 00:32:33,960 --> 00:32:36,793 I can't lie to you. It's beautiful with him. 462 00:32:36,880 --> 00:32:41,396 I don't know. This would scare the children. Maybe this is too much for them. 463 00:32:41,880 --> 00:32:44,110 I think we have to go to the next level. 464 00:32:44,200 --> 00:32:45,997 Latex. 465 00:32:46,880 --> 00:32:49,440 Oy, it was such a shandeh. 466 00:32:49,520 --> 00:32:52,910 I should never buy gribbenes from a mohel. It's so chewy. 467 00:32:53,000 --> 00:32:56,151 - No, I feel like Bubbee. This is not working. - Don't worry. 468 00:32:56,240 --> 00:33:00,552 It's a work in progress and you're my brother. I will never let you be embarrassed. 469 00:33:00,640 --> 00:33:03,108 - God bless you. - We'll have to do the entire face. 470 00:33:03,200 --> 00:33:05,589 But look at this nice thing we have here. 471 00:33:05,680 --> 00:33:08,717 # Matchmaker, matchmaker, make me a match 472 00:33:08,800 --> 00:33:11,473 # Find me a find, catch me a catch 473 00:33:16,000 --> 00:33:18,275 # Don't tell me not to live, just sit and putter 474 00:33:18,360 --> 00:33:20,635 # Life's candy and the sun's a ball of butter 475 00:33:20,720 --> 00:33:24,395 # Don't bring around a cloud to rain on my parade 476 00:33:25,240 --> 00:33:27,196 It's not working. I need to go older. 477 00:33:27,280 --> 00:33:30,829 Older? Like Shelley Winters older or Shirley MacLaine older? 478 00:33:30,920 --> 00:33:34,276 - What's the difference? - Some Scotch tape and red hair dye. 479 00:33:34,360 --> 00:33:37,909 - What about Joan Collins? - Oh, I don't think I have the strength. 480 00:33:38,000 --> 00:33:39,991 But I have some plaster. 481 00:33:44,920 --> 00:33:48,515 # Luck, be a lady tonight 482 00:33:51,320 --> 00:33:54,915 # Luck, be a lady tonight 483 00:33:57,400 --> 00:34:02,599 # Luck, if you've ever been a lady to begin with 484 00:34:03,080 --> 00:34:06,675 # Luck, be a lady tonight 485 00:34:12,680 --> 00:34:16,275 # Luck, let a gentleman see 486 00:34:18,600 --> 00:34:22,195 # How nice a dame you can be 487 00:34:24,480 --> 00:34:29,873 # I know the way you've treated other guys you've been with 488 00:34:30,280 --> 00:34:33,875 # Luck, be a lady with me 489 00:34:36,640 --> 00:34:39,234 # Luck, be a lady 490 00:34:40,680 --> 00:34:43,877 - Are we close? - Any closer... 491 00:34:43,960 --> 00:34:45,951 ...and you'd be Mom. 492 00:34:47,960 --> 00:34:53,956 # Tonight! 493 00:35:01,360 --> 00:35:03,351 That's disgusting! 494 00:35:05,000 --> 00:35:07,958 The most revolting thing I've ever seen. 495 00:35:08,040 --> 00:35:09,758 Awesome. 496 00:35:11,800 --> 00:35:13,870 What is this? Turn it off, will you? 497 00:35:13,960 --> 00:35:17,157 Come on. I want you to meet this lady with me. 498 00:35:17,240 --> 00:35:20,676 I want you to be polite to her, then... tell me what you think. 499 00:35:20,760 --> 00:35:24,958 Everybody stand over here and help me decide what to do. 500 00:35:29,520 --> 00:35:31,988 Hello. Mrs. Hillard, I presume. 501 00:35:32,080 --> 00:35:34,116 Yes. I'm Miranda Hillard. 502 00:35:34,200 --> 00:35:36,430 Euphegenia Doubtfire. 503 00:35:36,520 --> 00:35:38,795 Yes. Won't you please come in? 504 00:35:38,880 --> 00:35:41,189 Thank you, dear. 505 00:35:41,760 --> 00:35:44,593 - And these must be the cherubs. - Yes. 506 00:35:45,600 --> 00:35:48,558 - This is Natalie. - Oh, hello, Natalie. 507 00:35:48,640 --> 00:35:50,835 - Are you wearing bug spray? - Nattie! 508 00:35:50,920 --> 00:35:55,357 It's quite all right, dear. No offence taken. I was a little liberal with the atomiser. 509 00:35:55,440 --> 00:35:59,558 And at my age, it's like a good Stilton. Everything has its own aroma. 510 00:35:59,640 --> 00:36:03,918 I admire that honesty, Nattie. That's a noble quality. Never lose that,... 511 00:36:04,000 --> 00:36:07,595 ...because it often disappears with age or entering politics. 512 00:36:07,680 --> 00:36:11,275 Look at that face. You remind me of Stuart Little,... 513 00:36:11,360 --> 00:36:14,670 ...one of the most honourable creatures in all of literature. 514 00:36:14,760 --> 00:36:18,912 - Do you know that book, Stuart Little? - Yeah! It's one of my favourites. 515 00:36:19,000 --> 00:36:22,788 Mine, too! Maybe I could read it to you - if I get the position. 516 00:36:22,880 --> 00:36:26,156 - That would be wonderful. - And who is this strapping young lad? 517 00:36:26,240 --> 00:36:28,435 - This is Chris. - Hello, Christopher. 518 00:36:28,520 --> 00:36:30,272 Hello. 519 00:36:30,360 --> 00:36:33,989 Jeez, you're big for a lady. You could play for the 49ers. 520 00:36:34,080 --> 00:36:37,834 Well, I was a fullback. But that's European football, dear. 521 00:36:37,920 --> 00:36:40,309 - Soccer? - Yes. You play soccer, too? 522 00:36:40,400 --> 00:36:42,550 - Yeah! - Oh, isn't that amazing? 523 00:36:42,640 --> 00:36:47,031 Yes, I was captain of the women's team. We won three university championships. 524 00:36:47,120 --> 00:36:49,111 Oh, but that was decades ago! 525 00:36:49,200 --> 00:36:53,512 But I was more disciplined then. I always put my studies ahead of my athletics. 526 00:36:53,600 --> 00:36:57,149 I'm sure you're the same and you've done all your homework already. 527 00:36:57,240 --> 00:37:00,755 - Well, not exactly. - Really? Oh. That's a pity. 528 00:37:00,840 --> 00:37:06,153 Young men who don't do their studies often miss out on more amusing activities. 529 00:37:07,160 --> 00:37:09,799 - And who is this young lady? - This is Lydia. 530 00:37:11,680 --> 00:37:13,671 Hello, Lydia. 531 00:37:15,760 --> 00:37:19,070 This isn't fair, Mom. Why do we need a housekeeper anyway? 532 00:37:19,160 --> 00:37:21,594 - This is all I need. - Why can't Dad do it? 533 00:37:21,760 --> 00:37:27,278 Dear, I don't think it's appropriate to argue with your mother in front of a stranger. 534 00:37:27,360 --> 00:37:30,636 I just don't see why we can't spend the extra time with Dad. 535 00:37:30,720 --> 00:37:34,759 Maybe she's right, dear. Maybe their father would be a more appropriate person. 536 00:37:34,840 --> 00:37:37,229 No, I don't think so. 537 00:37:37,320 --> 00:37:41,711 It's not my fault, honey. If he would get a job and a decent apartment... 538 00:37:41,800 --> 00:37:44,951 - You see, he's the kind... - Excuse me, dear. 539 00:37:45,040 --> 00:37:48,077 I'm sure you'd want the children to step out of the room... 540 00:37:48,160 --> 00:37:50,993 ...before you verbally bash their father. Hm? 541 00:37:51,080 --> 00:37:53,674 If I did that, I might never see them again. 542 00:37:55,840 --> 00:37:58,559 - I'm sorry. You're right. - No harm done. 543 00:37:58,640 --> 00:38:03,111 - You're absolutely right. - I'm not a therapist. I just see what I see. 544 00:38:03,200 --> 00:38:06,158 Why don't you guys go on upstairs? I'll be up in a minute. 545 00:38:06,240 --> 00:38:09,277 - It's lovely to meet you. - Yeah, nice to meet you. 546 00:38:09,360 --> 00:38:11,351 You too, Lydie. 547 00:38:17,200 --> 00:38:19,270 - Oh, they're a spirited bunch. - Yes. 548 00:38:19,360 --> 00:38:22,591 - Especially Lydie. She's got daggers for you. - I know. 549 00:38:22,680 --> 00:38:26,309 - They're very upset with me right now. - Probably the divorce. 550 00:38:26,400 --> 00:38:28,391 How did you know? 551 00:38:28,480 --> 00:38:31,631 You can sense it, dear - the way she talks about her father. 552 00:38:31,720 --> 00:38:37,113 I don't think he's in the Navy, the way she's saying she misses him. It's like he's nearby. 553 00:38:37,200 --> 00:38:39,111 - Yes. - Oh, that's so sad. 554 00:38:39,200 --> 00:38:41,839 - Would you care to have a cup of tea? - I'd love that. 555 00:38:41,920 --> 00:38:44,673 - It's right in here. - What a lovely home you have. 556 00:38:44,760 --> 00:38:46,990 - Did you decorate this yourself? - Yes, I did. 557 00:38:47,080 --> 00:38:51,437 Oh, it reeks of taste! Isn't this lovely, dear! 558 00:38:51,520 --> 00:38:54,512 - Here's my r�sum�. - Oh. Thank you. 559 00:38:54,600 --> 00:38:57,831 - Let me start this tea. - Oh, no, dear. Let me get that for you. 560 00:38:57,920 --> 00:39:03,836 You've had a hard day. You just sit yourself down on that stool and leave the tea to me. 561 00:39:03,920 --> 00:39:06,673 Thank you. That's very nice of you. 562 00:39:06,760 --> 00:39:08,751 Oh, not at all, dear. 563 00:39:08,840 --> 00:39:11,593 - Oh. What a wonderful r�sum�. - Thank you, dear. 564 00:39:11,960 --> 00:39:14,315 "Expert in first aid and CPR." 565 00:39:14,400 --> 00:39:16,391 And Heimlich manoeuvre, dear. 566 00:39:16,480 --> 00:39:19,836 You can never be too prepared when little ones are around. 567 00:39:19,920 --> 00:39:23,595 They'll swallow anything. You've got to be ready to pop it out. 568 00:39:24,600 --> 00:39:26,591 Oh, let's see. 569 00:39:26,680 --> 00:39:30,389 Oh! What a perfectly appointed little cubby! 570 00:39:30,480 --> 00:39:34,473 Look at this. Everything has its place and name tag. 571 00:39:34,560 --> 00:39:37,393 How precise! It's lovely. 572 00:39:37,480 --> 00:39:39,471 My husband never appreciated it. 573 00:39:39,560 --> 00:39:41,551 Oh. Poor dolt. 574 00:39:41,640 --> 00:39:44,518 That's not the reason you divorced him, was it? 575 00:39:45,320 --> 00:39:46,514 No. 576 00:39:47,480 --> 00:39:51,189 It's so sad, because marriage can be such a blessing. 577 00:39:51,280 --> 00:39:54,511 - So can divorce. - Oh. 578 00:39:54,720 --> 00:40:01,592 Daniel is a... very difficult man to live with. But the children are crazy about him. 579 00:40:01,680 --> 00:40:05,309 You don't have to be a psychic to sense that. 580 00:40:06,080 --> 00:40:09,356 My, you certainly do know your way around a kitchen! 581 00:40:09,440 --> 00:40:11,112 Oh! Uh... 582 00:40:11,200 --> 00:40:15,113 It's just because everything is so accessible. You designed it. 583 00:40:15,640 --> 00:40:19,553 I'm amazed there isn't a little label there that says "spoons". 584 00:40:21,960 --> 00:40:24,633 You remind me of someone. 585 00:40:25,520 --> 00:40:28,034 Really? Who? 586 00:40:30,000 --> 00:40:32,195 I feel like I've known you for years. 587 00:40:33,120 --> 00:40:36,430 Maybe we knew each other in another life. 588 00:40:38,160 --> 00:40:41,391 I would love for you to come and work with us. 589 00:40:41,480 --> 00:40:43,994 - So would I. - Great! 590 00:40:44,080 --> 00:40:46,071 It would be an honour. 591 00:40:46,800 --> 00:40:49,075 To us. 592 00:40:49,160 --> 00:40:52,630 To us. The start of a business relationship. 593 00:41:21,720 --> 00:41:23,711 Good evening, dear. 594 00:41:25,440 --> 00:41:27,431 Evening, ma'am. 595 00:41:33,000 --> 00:41:35,195 Cold night, isn't it? 596 00:41:35,280 --> 00:41:37,396 Yes, it is. 597 00:41:37,720 --> 00:41:41,713 Hope you have somethin' nice and warm to go home to. 598 00:41:54,040 --> 00:41:56,076 My back. 599 00:41:56,160 --> 00:42:01,553 Jesus! If I find the misogynistic bastard that invented heels, I'll kill him. 600 00:42:02,400 --> 00:42:04,391 God..! 601 00:42:12,640 --> 00:42:14,278 Excuse me. 602 00:42:14,360 --> 00:42:16,271 Mrs. Sellner! 603 00:42:17,360 --> 00:42:19,590 Have we met? 604 00:42:19,680 --> 00:42:22,752 No. But Danny's told me all about you. 605 00:42:23,560 --> 00:42:26,120 I'm his sister. 606 00:42:26,920 --> 00:42:29,036 His... much older sister. 607 00:42:30,440 --> 00:42:33,637 - You have his eyes. - Only if he fills out a donor card. 608 00:42:35,800 --> 00:42:40,396 - Is Mr. Hillard in? I have an appointment. - Do you? Oh, that's wonderful. 609 00:42:40,480 --> 00:42:42,914 Let me go up and get him and he'll be right down. 610 00:42:43,000 --> 00:42:44,513 - I'll come with you. - No. 611 00:42:44,600 --> 00:42:45,919 - Yes. - Why? 612 00:42:46,000 --> 00:42:51,757 Because I have an appointment on Monday and Friday evenings to check the apartment. 613 00:42:51,840 --> 00:42:54,593 I remember him saying something about that. 614 00:42:54,680 --> 00:42:58,036 Are you sure, dear? It's three floors, hoofin' it all the way. 615 00:42:58,120 --> 00:43:00,475 - If you can do it, I can. - I'll bet so! 616 00:43:00,560 --> 00:43:02,551 - Is your ticker all right? - Topnotch. 617 00:43:02,640 --> 00:43:06,110 Oh, good! Cos I don't want to jump-start ya. 618 00:43:08,560 --> 00:43:09,959 Damn door. 619 00:43:10,040 --> 00:43:12,952 Come in, please, dear. Sorry about that. 620 00:43:13,040 --> 00:43:15,031 Here we are. Daniel's abode. 621 00:43:17,400 --> 00:43:20,915 Oh, that's mine, dear. I'm a messy house guest. 622 00:43:21,000 --> 00:43:23,992 Well, just make yourself at home. I'll be right back. 623 00:43:24,080 --> 00:43:26,071 He'll be back. I'll go get him. 624 00:43:26,160 --> 00:43:29,152 Don't be afraid. I'll be right there. Danny! 625 00:43:29,240 --> 00:43:32,835 Danny boy, where are you? Oh, here he is, dear. I found him. 626 00:43:32,920 --> 00:43:35,480 Danny, there's a Mrs. Sellner here to see you! 627 00:43:35,560 --> 00:43:37,835 - Oh, is she here? - Yes, she is. 628 00:43:38,240 --> 00:43:41,232 Mrs Sellner, I just got out of the shower! 629 00:43:41,320 --> 00:43:43,709 I think you'll be very pleased with me! 630 00:43:43,800 --> 00:43:47,076 I've been through some really interesting changes! 631 00:43:47,160 --> 00:43:50,596 And I'm becoming a new man and a model father! 632 00:43:51,680 --> 00:43:54,752 He'll be right there. He's just changing, dear. 633 00:43:55,720 --> 00:43:59,156 I want to keep you abreast of the changes in my career! 634 00:43:59,240 --> 00:44:03,631 There have been two big developments! I'm finally starting to come into my own! 635 00:44:03,720 --> 00:44:07,918 Things are really starting to take shape, and I'm blossoming! Really, I am! 636 00:44:08,000 --> 00:44:10,230 Things were hairy for a while,... 637 00:44:10,320 --> 00:44:13,357 ...but oh! I'm in great shape now! 638 00:44:13,440 --> 00:44:15,829 I'm my own man now! Oh, yes! 639 00:44:17,040 --> 00:44:19,838 A job I could really sink my teeth into! 640 00:44:19,920 --> 00:44:21,990 I'll be right there, Mrs. Sellner! 641 00:44:25,080 --> 00:44:28,834 So nice I don't have to save face any more, Mrs. Sellner! 642 00:44:31,120 --> 00:44:35,159 Mrs Sellner! How are you? Always a joy! 643 00:44:35,240 --> 00:44:38,391 If you wanted some cheese, why didn't you just say so? 644 00:44:38,720 --> 00:44:42,110 Well, you'll be happy to know that I now am holding down two jobs. 645 00:44:42,200 --> 00:44:45,988 One for an educational film and TV company - Heavy responsibility. 646 00:44:46,080 --> 00:44:50,278 - And the other? - Cleaning houses. Not mine. 647 00:44:51,880 --> 00:44:54,075 - Big girl! - Your sister is English? 648 00:44:54,160 --> 00:44:56,230 She's half-English, half-American. 649 00:44:56,320 --> 00:45:00,393 Half-sister, really. That makes her an eighth English? I've never done the math. 650 00:45:00,480 --> 00:45:04,996 Let me see, my father was American. He... flew for the English during the war. 651 00:45:05,080 --> 00:45:08,595 He was in London and... he met this lovely Englishwoman. 652 00:45:08,680 --> 00:45:11,717 Well, my sister was the fruit of their passions. 653 00:45:11,800 --> 00:45:14,951 Sorry. My sister's, not yours. 654 00:45:15,040 --> 00:45:20,273 You see, she's not a very good housekeeper. But she makes a fabulous cup of English tea. 655 00:45:20,360 --> 00:45:23,830 Really? Well, I would adore a good cup of English tea. 656 00:45:23,920 --> 00:45:27,196 Oh! Wouldn't we all! I'll go get her. 657 00:45:27,280 --> 00:45:29,874 Sis! Oh, sis! 658 00:45:29,960 --> 00:45:31,951 Sis, are you in here? 659 00:45:32,040 --> 00:45:34,634 Tea? Cup of TNT. 660 00:45:51,640 --> 00:45:53,631 Sick. Mom! 661 00:45:55,960 --> 00:45:58,030 Whoa! 662 00:45:58,120 --> 00:45:59,633 My face! 663 00:46:05,840 --> 00:46:07,831 I've gotta go down and get it. 664 00:46:10,000 --> 00:46:12,355 Argh! Norman Bates! 665 00:46:33,200 --> 00:46:35,350 Miss Hillard? 666 00:46:35,440 --> 00:46:38,432 - Yes, dear? - I take sugar in my tea. 667 00:46:38,520 --> 00:46:40,511 Oh, your tea! 668 00:46:40,600 --> 00:46:43,068 I'll be right there with your tea! 669 00:46:46,280 --> 00:46:49,750 Coming right up, dear! Sugar - one lump or two, dear? 670 00:46:49,840 --> 00:46:53,037 - Two, please! - Tea, sugar, hot water. 671 00:46:53,120 --> 00:46:56,430 You got it - argh! Coming right your way, dear! 672 00:46:56,520 --> 00:46:58,590 I'll be right there with your tea! 673 00:47:01,520 --> 00:47:03,238 No! Stop! 674 00:47:03,320 --> 00:47:04,878 Stop! 675 00:47:06,280 --> 00:47:07,235 No! 676 00:47:11,560 --> 00:47:12,993 Oh... shit! 677 00:47:16,200 --> 00:47:18,077 Ow! Ohhh! 678 00:47:19,280 --> 00:47:23,717 - Can I give you a hand? - Oh, no, dear! I don't need a hand. 679 00:47:23,800 --> 00:47:26,314 I need a face. A face. 680 00:47:27,200 --> 00:47:30,795 - Are you sure? - Oh, definitely! 681 00:47:36,200 --> 00:47:39,875 I'm not a Muslim. I need a face. A face. Oh, God. 682 00:47:42,880 --> 00:47:46,350 Miss Hillard? The water's boiling. 683 00:47:46,600 --> 00:47:49,239 - Hello! - Argh! 684 00:47:49,320 --> 00:47:54,189 Oh, I'm sorry to frighten you, dear. I must look like a yeti in this get-up. 685 00:47:54,280 --> 00:47:58,034 This is my nightly meringue mask. Part of my beauty regimen. 686 00:47:58,120 --> 00:48:03,035 It's basically egg whites, cr�me fra�che, powdered sugar, vanilla and a touch of alum. 687 00:48:03,120 --> 00:48:08,194 There you go, dear. Oh! You've got your cream and sugar. It's a little cappu-tea-no. 688 00:48:08,400 --> 00:48:10,436 One drop or two? Would you like another? 689 00:48:10,520 --> 00:48:13,034 Oh! There you go! 690 00:48:13,120 --> 00:48:17,511 As you can see, I can't stay with you, dear. I'm melting like a snow cone in Phoenix. 691 00:48:17,600 --> 00:48:22,515 There we go again! I'll go get Danny. He'll be right with you. Hold on. 692 00:48:22,600 --> 00:48:25,717 - Danny! - Coming, sis! 693 00:48:25,800 --> 00:48:29,236 - It was lovely to have met you! - Lovely to meet you. 694 00:48:46,000 --> 00:48:51,199 - Had a little accident. - Be careful this time. She's an old woman. 695 00:48:53,160 --> 00:48:55,674 Why wasn't I an only child? 696 00:49:03,360 --> 00:49:05,351 # He ain't too hip 697 00:49:06,560 --> 00:49:08,596 # 'Bout that new breed thing 698 00:49:10,520 --> 00:49:12,715 # Ain't no drag 699 00:49:13,720 --> 00:49:15,711 # Papa's got a brand new bag 700 00:49:18,080 --> 00:49:20,071 # Come here, Mama 701 00:49:20,840 --> 00:49:22,831 # And dig this crazy scene 702 00:49:24,840 --> 00:49:26,831 # He's not too fancy 703 00:49:28,040 --> 00:49:30,031 # But his mind is pretty clean 704 00:49:30,120 --> 00:49:32,270 - Sorry. - That's quite all right. 705 00:49:32,360 --> 00:49:34,715 # He ain't no drag 706 00:49:35,320 --> 00:49:37,311 # Papa's got a brand new bag 707 00:49:38,200 --> 00:49:40,395 # Hey! Come on 708 00:49:42,960 --> 00:49:44,951 Ready? OK. 709 00:49:45,040 --> 00:49:47,031 - Did you have fun in school? - Uh-huh. 710 00:49:47,120 --> 00:49:49,918 - What did you do? - I painted a picture of a bunny... 711 00:49:50,000 --> 00:49:52,195 - ...and the teacher liked it. - She did? 712 00:49:52,280 --> 00:49:53,554 Uh-huh. 713 00:49:53,640 --> 00:49:57,315 Here it is, Mel. $1,000 worth of hair. What am I supposed to do with it? 714 00:49:57,400 --> 00:50:00,153 - Alan, I was wondering if... - You want one of them? 715 00:50:01,040 --> 00:50:04,077 I'd rather make a coat for my wife. 716 00:50:04,160 --> 00:50:07,596 All right, everyone. It's time to expand your minds. 717 00:50:07,680 --> 00:50:12,800 - It's homework time. OK? - Yeah, but... after Dick Van Dyke. 718 00:50:14,160 --> 00:50:16,720 No. Now. 719 00:50:17,240 --> 00:50:18,275 No. 720 00:50:19,560 --> 00:50:22,279 We always watch Dick Van Dyke. 721 00:50:24,600 --> 00:50:27,398 Really? Well, not any more. 722 00:50:28,760 --> 00:50:31,911 The only thing you'll be watching is Deep Sea-N-N. 723 00:50:33,240 --> 00:50:34,639 Now,... 724 00:50:35,120 --> 00:50:37,998 ...I know you're used to loosey-goosey. 725 00:50:38,080 --> 00:50:40,878 But I run a much tighter ship. 726 00:50:41,200 --> 00:50:45,478 Between the hours of 3pm and 7 pm, I'm in charge. 727 00:50:45,960 --> 00:50:49,748 And when I'm in charge, you will follow a schedule. 728 00:50:49,840 --> 00:50:52,718 Those who do not follow the schedule will be punished. 729 00:50:53,520 --> 00:50:56,478 - Punished? - She's lying. 730 00:50:56,560 --> 00:50:58,551 She'd never punish us. 731 00:50:59,040 --> 00:51:01,429 Don't... fuss with me. 732 00:51:32,240 --> 00:51:34,549 This is exploitation. It's not fair. 733 00:51:34,640 --> 00:51:37,712 - Shut up, Lydie. - Yeah. You got us into this. 734 00:51:37,800 --> 00:51:40,155 Ooh, my little ankle-biters. 735 00:51:40,240 --> 00:51:42,708 Do I sense dissension in the ranks? 736 00:51:42,800 --> 00:51:46,349 Are we ready for homework, or shall we continue manual labour? 737 00:51:46,440 --> 00:51:51,116 - No. Anything but this. - Then upstairs, my little nose-miners. 738 00:51:51,200 --> 00:51:54,192 Go. Flee before me! 739 00:51:54,280 --> 00:51:56,510 Onward and upward! 740 00:51:56,600 --> 00:51:58,716 Go pump some neurons. 741 00:51:58,800 --> 00:52:00,791 Expand your craniums. 742 00:52:00,880 --> 00:52:02,871 - I miss Dad. - Me, too. 743 00:52:02,960 --> 00:52:05,394 Me most. 744 00:52:07,080 --> 00:52:09,071 I'm here, guys. 745 00:52:10,160 --> 00:52:12,151 In some form. 746 00:52:14,880 --> 00:52:16,871 Let's see. 747 00:52:20,120 --> 00:52:22,111 OK. Pinch of basil. 748 00:52:23,920 --> 00:52:25,911 Oh! Damn! 749 00:52:32,880 --> 00:52:34,313 Aaagghh! 750 00:52:34,400 --> 00:52:36,391 Mayday! 751 00:52:37,000 --> 00:52:38,991 Oh, God! It's gonna blow! 752 00:52:41,240 --> 00:52:43,231 Easy, easy. 753 00:52:43,320 --> 00:52:45,311 Damn. Calm down. 754 00:52:45,400 --> 00:52:46,879 Oh... Oh... Come on. 755 00:52:46,960 --> 00:52:49,474 Hey, hey, hey. How is it? 756 00:52:49,560 --> 00:52:52,233 Oh, my God. It's clotted. Oh, God. 757 00:52:53,520 --> 00:52:56,353 This hollandaise smells like burnt rubber. 758 00:52:57,160 --> 00:52:59,230 God, it's hot in here. 759 00:52:59,480 --> 00:53:02,995 Aarghh! Aarghh! Aarghh! 760 00:53:10,440 --> 00:53:12,431 Ohh! 761 00:53:16,520 --> 00:53:18,636 Agh! Look at this! 762 00:53:18,720 --> 00:53:21,757 My first day as a woman and I'm getting hot flashes. 763 00:53:38,000 --> 00:53:40,309 - Hey, here's your food. - How much is it? 764 00:53:40,400 --> 00:53:43,517 - 135.27. - 135 dollars?! That's certainly... 765 00:53:43,600 --> 00:53:45,591 - And 27 cents. - 27 cents... 766 00:53:45,680 --> 00:53:48,433 Four dinners. 20 bucks extra for rushing us. 767 00:53:48,520 --> 00:53:52,308 Rushing? Well, you could have been a little bit faster, dear. 768 00:53:52,400 --> 00:53:55,710 - There's... 140. Do you have change? - No. 769 00:53:55,800 --> 00:53:58,792 I thought you wouldn't. Thank you very much. 770 00:54:27,920 --> 00:54:29,911 Hello! 771 00:54:31,320 --> 00:54:33,311 Hello! Anybody home? 772 00:54:35,760 --> 00:54:38,638 - Where were you guys? - Upstairs, doing our homework. 773 00:54:38,720 --> 00:54:40,870 Mrs. Doubtfire said we had to. 774 00:54:40,960 --> 00:54:43,474 - Oh, she did, huh? - Mm-hm. 775 00:54:43,560 --> 00:54:46,438 Doing your homework. How great! 776 00:54:46,520 --> 00:54:48,238 - Hi. - Hi, honey. 777 00:54:48,320 --> 00:54:52,108 Look at this place! It looks wonderful! All spick-and-span. 778 00:55:00,200 --> 00:55:01,189 Wow! 779 00:55:05,240 --> 00:55:07,595 Dinner is served, madam. 780 00:55:08,440 --> 00:55:10,158 How lovely! 781 00:55:31,560 --> 00:55:33,391 Mrs. Doubtfire? 782 00:55:33,480 --> 00:55:37,075 Lydia, dear. Get back inside right now before you freeze. 783 00:55:37,160 --> 00:55:41,438 Look... I just want to apologise for being such a pain today. 784 00:55:41,520 --> 00:55:45,115 - Oh, dear, it's all right. - No, I'm really sorry. 785 00:55:46,320 --> 00:55:50,438 It's just... I'm still kind of messed-up... about everything. 786 00:55:52,680 --> 00:55:54,671 We all are, sweetie. 787 00:55:55,400 --> 00:55:57,118 What? 788 00:55:57,600 --> 00:56:01,798 I just mean I understand the pain you're all going through. 789 00:56:03,720 --> 00:56:05,711 Yeah. 790 00:56:06,520 --> 00:56:08,636 Well... I also wanted to thank you. 791 00:56:09,200 --> 00:56:12,192 - For what? - For making my mom so happy. 792 00:56:12,800 --> 00:56:13,789 Oh. 793 00:56:14,680 --> 00:56:19,435 She hasn't been in this good a mood since... I can't even remember. 794 00:56:21,640 --> 00:56:23,631 It's been a long time. 795 00:56:23,720 --> 00:56:26,075 - It has? - Yeah. 796 00:56:27,280 --> 00:56:29,271 Well, I gotta go back in, but... 797 00:56:29,400 --> 00:56:32,756 - Go, go, go. - OK. Thank you. 798 00:56:33,320 --> 00:56:35,709 You're welcome. 799 00:56:38,600 --> 00:56:40,591 - Bye. - Bye. 800 00:56:46,200 --> 00:56:48,191 Thank you. 801 00:56:59,320 --> 00:57:01,834 Oh, no. 802 00:57:03,560 --> 00:57:07,519 Well, milady! It's a pleasure to see you again! 803 00:57:07,600 --> 00:57:09,591 A joy, as always. 804 00:57:27,320 --> 00:57:29,675 I like that Mediterranean look in women. 805 00:57:31,200 --> 00:57:33,191 Natural. Healthy. 806 00:57:34,720 --> 00:57:36,711 Just the way God made ya. 807 00:57:37,760 --> 00:57:42,197 He broke the mould when he made me, dear. He made me very special. 808 00:57:42,600 --> 00:57:44,989 He sure did. 809 00:57:46,160 --> 00:57:48,549 Bless you. 810 00:57:53,040 --> 00:57:54,758 # Yeah, yeah 811 00:57:54,840 --> 00:57:56,717 # Dude looks like a lady 812 00:57:56,800 --> 00:57:58,438 # Yeah, yeah 813 00:57:58,520 --> 00:58:00,511 # Dude looks like a lady 814 00:58:00,600 --> 00:58:02,158 # Yeah, yeah 815 00:58:02,240 --> 00:58:04,231 # Dude looks like a lady 816 00:58:11,480 --> 00:58:13,789 # Never judge a book by its cover 817 00:58:14,920 --> 00:58:17,753 # Or who you gonna love by your lover 818 00:58:18,320 --> 00:58:21,756 # Say, love put me wise to her love in disguise 819 00:58:21,840 --> 00:58:23,831 # She had the body of a Venus 820 00:58:23,920 --> 00:58:25,911 # Lord, imagine my surprise 821 00:58:26,000 --> 00:58:27,558 # Yeah, yeah 822 00:58:27,640 --> 00:58:29,596 # Dude looks like a lady 823 00:58:29,680 --> 00:58:31,238 # Yeah, yeah 824 00:58:31,320 --> 00:58:33,311 # Dude looks like a lady 825 00:58:33,400 --> 00:58:34,879 # Yeah, yeah 826 00:58:34,960 --> 00:58:36,951 # Dude looks like a lady 827 00:58:37,040 --> 00:58:38,519 # Yeah, yeah 828 00:58:38,600 --> 00:58:40,591 # Dude looks like a lady 829 00:58:44,200 --> 00:58:46,589 # Cruised into a bar on the shore 830 00:58:47,520 --> 00:58:50,478 # Her picture graced the grime on the door 831 00:58:50,840 --> 00:58:53,877 # She's a long-lost love at first bite 832 00:58:54,360 --> 00:58:58,558 # Baby, maybe you're wrong but you know it's all right 833 00:59:02,880 --> 00:59:06,031 I am not a crook. I am not a crook. 834 00:59:06,120 --> 00:59:08,429 "She kissed Stuart and thanked him." 835 00:59:08,520 --> 00:59:11,512 "'How was it down there?' asked Mr. Little,... 836 00:59:11,600 --> 00:59:14,990 ...who was always curious to know about places he'd never been to." 837 00:59:15,080 --> 00:59:16,911 "'It was all right,' said Stuart." 838 00:59:36,680 --> 00:59:38,875 # What a funky lady 839 00:59:40,200 --> 00:59:43,909 # Oh, she like it, like it, like it, like it 840 00:59:44,120 --> 00:59:46,714 # Ooh, he was a lady 841 00:59:48,440 --> 00:59:51,477 # Yeow 842 00:59:51,560 --> 00:59:53,198 # Yeah, yeah 843 00:59:53,280 --> 00:59:55,271 # Dude looks like a lady 844 00:59:55,360 --> 00:59:56,873 # Yeah, yeah 845 00:59:56,960 --> 00:59:58,951 # Dude looks like a lady 846 00:59:59,040 --> 01:00:00,359 # Yeah, yeah 847 01:00:00,440 --> 01:00:02,431 # Dude looks like a lady... 848 01:00:04,240 --> 01:00:06,231 Back off, asshole! 849 01:00:06,320 --> 01:00:07,958 Beat it!