1
00:01:01,229 --> 00:01:03,898
Hey, Seth Rogen. What up, man?
2
00:01:06,776 --> 00:01:10,113
Oh, hey, John! Over here!
3
00:01:10,196 --> 00:01:13,074
Welcome to
Los Angeles International Airport.
4
00:01:13,158 --> 00:01:14,951
Attention, all passengers.
5
00:01:15,034 --> 00:01:16,953
Do not leave your baggage unattended.
6
00:01:17,036 --> 00:01:19,581
All unattended baggage
is subject to search...
7
00:01:22,000 --> 00:01:23,793
We're so happy!
8
00:01:23,877 --> 00:01:25,086
Look at this!
9
00:01:25,170 --> 00:01:27,797
- What's happening, man?
- Good to see you, buddy.
10
00:01:27,881 --> 00:01:29,340
- How you doing?
- I'm good, man.
11
00:01:29,424 --> 00:01:30,425
Yes, you are.
12
00:01:31,134 --> 00:01:32,218
How long has it been, man?
13
00:01:32,302 --> 00:01:33,428
Sometime in the last...
14
00:01:33,511 --> 00:01:35,472
- inside of a year or something.
- Yeah.
15
00:01:35,555 --> 00:01:37,235
I have the best weekend ever planned, man.
16
00:01:37,515 --> 00:01:39,684
- Lay it on me.
- I don't want to ruin it.
17
00:01:39,976 --> 00:01:41,478
- Seth Rogen!
- Shit, here we go. Hey.
18
00:01:41,561 --> 00:01:42,961
- How's it going, man?
- Yeah, good.
19
00:01:43,021 --> 00:01:45,774
So, you, like, always play,
like, the same guy in every movie.
20
00:01:45,857 --> 00:01:47,567
When are you gonna do some,
like, real acting, man?
21
00:01:47,650 --> 00:01:48,651
Okay, thank you.
22
00:01:48,735 --> 00:01:50,737
Give me something.
Give me, like, the laugh, man.
23
00:01:50,820 --> 00:01:52,113
Give me the Seth Rogen laugh.
24
00:01:53,156 --> 00:01:54,616
Seth Rogen, everybody.
25
00:01:54,699 --> 00:01:57,952
All right, I've landed. I'm here.
We've said our hellos.
26
00:01:58,036 --> 00:02:01,039
Can we please go to fucking Carl's Jr.?
27
00:02:02,707 --> 00:02:05,794
I would love to. I'm on a...
28
00:02:05,877 --> 00:02:07,478
I can't really eat that stuff right now.
29
00:02:07,504 --> 00:02:08,755
- I'm on a...
- What?
30
00:02:08,838 --> 00:02:09,839
I'm on this cleanse.
31
00:02:09,923 --> 00:02:11,633
You're on a what?
32
00:02:11,716 --> 00:02:12,967
I'm on a cleanse.
33
00:02:15,053 --> 00:02:17,013
- What?
- It's good for you.
34
00:02:17,096 --> 00:02:18,723
I didn't know...
You're supposed to take six shits a day.
35
00:02:18,807 --> 00:02:20,183
- That's not true.
- It is true!
36
00:02:20,266 --> 00:02:21,810
- You're supposed to shit twice a day.
- No.
37
00:02:21,893 --> 00:02:23,520
That's not true.
That's what they used to think.
38
00:02:23,603 --> 00:02:25,897
Now they know you're supposed
to shit six times a day.
39
00:02:25,980 --> 00:02:28,566
So you're not drinking.
You're not smoking weed. You're not...
40
00:02:28,650 --> 00:02:31,402
- No, no, I'm drinking and smoking weed.
- But“
41
00:02:31,486 --> 00:02:33,154
I'm on a cleanse. I'm not psychotic.
42
00:02:33,238 --> 00:02:37,158
Look, man, if you stopped eating gluten,
you'd feel way fucking better all day.
43
00:02:37,242 --> 00:02:39,202
Whenever you feel shitty,
that's 'cause of gluten.
44
00:02:39,244 --> 00:02:40,411
- That's not true.
- It is.
45
00:02:40,495 --> 00:02:42,497
- Who the fuck told you not to eat gluten?
- It's just true.
46
00:02:42,580 --> 00:02:45,500
- You don't even know what gluten is.
- I know what fucking gluten is.
47
00:02:45,583 --> 00:02:47,877
- No, you have no idea what gluten is.
- I do know what gluten is.
48
00:02:47,961 --> 00:02:49,462
Gluten's a vague term.
49
00:02:49,546 --> 00:02:52,632
It's something that's used to categorize
things that are bad, you know?
50
00:02:52,715 --> 00:02:55,343
Calories, that's a gluten.
Fat, that's a gluten.
51
00:02:55,426 --> 00:02:58,471
Somebody just told you
you probably shouldn't eat gluten,
52
00:02:58,555 --> 00:03:00,223
you're like, "I guess I
shouldn't eat gluten."
53
00:03:00,306 --> 00:03:02,475
Gluten means bad shit, man,
and I'm not eating it.
54
00:03:06,521 --> 00:03:07,522
God!
55
00:03:07,814 --> 00:03:10,275
Each bite is better than the previous bite.
56
00:03:10,358 --> 00:03:11,943
- It is.
- Gluten!
57
00:03:12,527 --> 00:03:15,196
- Hey, this looks beautiful.
- Yeah. Do you like it? I totally redid it.
58
00:03:15,280 --> 00:03:17,615
- It's fucking awesome.
- It's all new. Those are new.
59
00:03:17,699 --> 00:03:19,242
- God damn, son!
- It's pretty nice?
60
00:03:19,325 --> 00:03:21,578
So this is how the other half lives.
61
00:03:21,661 --> 00:03:23,371
- Come on.
- Amazing.
62
00:03:23,454 --> 00:03:25,373
- Air hockey tables.
- Jesus Murphy!
63
00:03:25,456 --> 00:03:28,042
- Right? Okay, get ready, Jay.
- What?
64
00:03:28,126 --> 00:03:30,211
- I have a little surprise for you.
- Okay.
65
00:03:30,295 --> 00:03:32,547
Here's the best weekend
you ever had in your life.
66
00:03:34,090 --> 00:03:36,885
- Look at it, man.
- Oh, my... Are you serious?
67
00:03:36,968 --> 00:03:38,052
It's all of your favorite things.
68
00:03:38,136 --> 00:03:41,556
- Starburst and Airheads on a...
- Yeah.
69
00:03:41,639 --> 00:03:42,599
And it says "Jay."
70
00:03:42,682 --> 00:03:44,392
- In joints.
- In joints.
71
00:03:44,475 --> 00:03:46,352
It says "Jay" in Jays-
72
00:03:47,103 --> 00:03:50,690
Seth Rogen, you are just the best people.
73
00:03:50,773 --> 00:03:53,151
Come on, I know you don't love it in LA,
so I figure I'll make it...
74
00:03:53,234 --> 00:03:55,653
You know, I'll lube up
your entry a little bit.
75
00:03:55,737 --> 00:03:57,739
- It eases the transition.
- Yeah, right?
76
00:03:57,822 --> 00:03:59,407
This is the much-needed foreplay.
77
00:03:59,490 --> 00:04:01,743
- You know what else I got?
- Yo, this...
78
00:04:01,826 --> 00:04:03,346
- A 3-D television.
- No, you didn't...
79
00:04:03,369 --> 00:04:05,288
- I got a 3-D TV.
- Are you serious?
80
00:04:06,247 --> 00:04:08,708
- Oh, my God.
- I did it, man.
81
00:04:08,791 --> 00:04:10,043
What?
82
00:04:10,126 --> 00:04:11,586
Let's get into it.
83
00:04:11,669 --> 00:04:13,379
Oh, my God, bud.
84
00:04:13,463 --> 00:04:14,923
It's Gandalf the Grey's pipe.
85
00:04:15,006 --> 00:04:16,257
Damn, no shit.
86
00:04:16,341 --> 00:04:18,468
Hello, little hobbit.
87
00:04:18,551 --> 00:04:20,970
- Spark my ganja.
- Yeah.
88
00:04:23,306 --> 00:04:25,683
I'm a well-known homosexual advocate.
89
00:04:25,767 --> 00:04:27,936
♪ Backstreet's back, all right
90
00:04:32,982 --> 00:04:36,361
♪ Hey, hey, yeah, well
91
00:04:36,819 --> 00:04:38,446
♪ Everybody Rock your body
92
00:04:38,571 --> 00:04:40,990
♪ Everybody Everybody
93
00:04:41,074 --> 00:04:43,534
♪ Rook your body right
Rock your body
94
00:04:43,618 --> 00:04:45,453
♪ Everybody!
95
00:04:45,536 --> 00:04:46,955
♪ Backstreet's back... 4'
96
00:04:47,997 --> 00:04:50,458
My eyes feel like they're melting.
97
00:04:50,541 --> 00:04:51,960
I need a break.
98
00:04:53,294 --> 00:04:55,964
You know what, actually?
We should go to Franco's house soon.
99
00:04:56,047 --> 00:04:58,808
He's having a housewarming party.
He just finished building his house.
100
00:04:58,883 --> 00:05:01,803
I haven't even seen it yet,
but it's supposed to be bonkers.
101
00:05:01,886 --> 00:05:06,432
I haven't been in LA in, like, a year,
and I came here to chill with you.
102
00:05:06,516 --> 00:05:08,643
We can chill together,
and we'll chill with those other guys.
103
00:05:08,726 --> 00:05:10,645
We'll all chill as one big unit.
104
00:05:10,728 --> 00:05:13,231
- Will I even know anybody there?
- You know James Franco.
105
00:05:13,314 --> 00:05:16,901
- James Franco doesn't even know my name.
- Jonah Hill will be there.
106
00:05:16,985 --> 00:05:18,486
Can't stand him. He can't stand me.
107
00:05:18,569 --> 00:05:21,280
He's, like, the nicest guy in the world!
He likes you so much.
108
00:05:21,364 --> 00:05:23,165
He specifically talks
about how he likes you.
109
00:05:23,241 --> 00:05:25,535
Out of nowhere, he just said,
"You know what? Jay's an inspiration."
110
00:05:25,618 --> 00:05:28,246
There's no way he said that.
Also, just can't stand him.
111
00:05:28,329 --> 00:05:30,999
- Okay, fine. Craig Robinson.
- Never met him.
112
00:05:31,082 --> 00:05:32,500
He's hilarious.
113
00:05:32,583 --> 00:05:34,627
Sweats a lot, but he's a great guy.
114
00:05:34,711 --> 00:05:36,254
So it's gonna be fun, man.
115
00:05:36,838 --> 00:05:39,716
For you, I will go.
116
00:05:39,799 --> 00:05:42,343
I promise, I'll stay with
you all night, okay?
117
00:05:42,427 --> 00:05:45,680
I won't ditch you.
No, 'cause I want to be with you all night.
118
00:05:45,763 --> 00:05:47,932
And you know why else?
119
00:05:48,016 --> 00:05:50,351
'Cause nobody puts Jay in the corner.
120
00:06:01,612 --> 00:06:02,905
Awesome.
121
00:06:04,032 --> 00:06:05,658
- Thank you.
- Thank you. There you go. Cool.
122
00:06:05,742 --> 00:06:07,243
- Thanks a lot?
- Thanks a lot.
123
00:06:07,326 --> 00:06:08,369
Okay, man.
124
00:06:08,911 --> 00:06:10,496
Holy shit.
125
00:06:13,624 --> 00:06:15,168
This is crazy!
126
00:06:15,251 --> 00:06:17,503
- Yeah?
- Yeah, man, right?
127
00:06:17,587 --> 00:06:19,714
- Look at it.
- A bit much.
128
00:06:19,797 --> 00:06:22,550
I don't think it is a bit much.
I think it's right on the money.
129
00:06:22,633 --> 00:06:24,177
What is he, Pablo Escobar?
130
00:06:24,260 --> 00:06:27,263
Come on, man, this is an awesome street.
Channing Tatum lives up there.
131
00:06:27,346 --> 00:06:29,140
For the love of...
Will you stop talking about...
132
00:06:29,223 --> 00:06:30,308
This is the sexiest street in America.
133
00:06:30,391 --> 00:06:32,894
- You and Channing Tatum.
- I think he's attractive.
134
00:06:34,228 --> 00:06:36,147
- I think it's a cool house.
- I know you do.
135
00:06:36,230 --> 00:06:39,484
I can't wait to see inside it.
That's why I'm excited.
136
00:06:40,276 --> 00:06:43,237
Yes! What's up, man? Seth!
137
00:06:43,321 --> 00:06:45,281
- So happy you're here.
- I'm so happy to be here.
138
00:06:45,323 --> 00:06:46,574
Hey, Johnny, what's up?
139
00:06:46,657 --> 00:06:48,076
- It's Jay.
- It's Jay.
140
00:06:48,159 --> 00:06:50,536
I'll never forget it again, man.
Good to see you.
141
00:06:50,620 --> 00:06:52,330
- Nice to see you. Come on in.
- Yeah! Yeah, great.
142
00:06:52,413 --> 00:06:54,624
Check it out. My new place!
143
00:06:54,707 --> 00:06:56,459
Awesome, man!
144
00:06:56,542 --> 00:06:57,668
Designed it myself.
145
00:06:57,752 --> 00:07:00,505
Really cool. This place is beautiful, man.
146
00:07:00,588 --> 00:07:02,590
This place is like a piece of me.
147
00:07:02,673 --> 00:07:04,759
You two just stepped inside me.
148
00:07:05,301 --> 00:07:07,929
You let us both cum inside you. Yeah.
149
00:07:08,012 --> 00:07:10,723
Icing on the cake. Check it out.
150
00:07:11,474 --> 00:07:12,517
Painted them myself.
151
00:07:14,018 --> 00:07:15,937
Side by side. A team.
152
00:07:16,020 --> 00:07:17,021
Holy shit.
153
00:07:17,522 --> 00:07:19,232
So, is it weird?
154
00:07:19,315 --> 00:07:21,275
- No.
- You sure?
155
00:07:21,359 --> 00:07:23,027
I really like it.
156
00:07:23,111 --> 00:07:24,237
What do you think, Jay?
157
00:07:24,320 --> 00:07:26,447
I'm not a big art guy.
158
00:07:26,531 --> 00:07:27,782
You don't like art?
159
00:07:27,865 --> 00:07:29,742
Well, come on...
160
00:07:29,826 --> 00:07:31,744
- You play video games?
- Yes.
161
00:07:31,828 --> 00:07:34,956
- Well, guess what, buddy? You like art.
- Yep.
162
00:07:35,039 --> 00:07:37,291
- You ever been to Subway?
- Yes.
163
00:07:37,375 --> 00:07:38,751
You order a sandwich?
164
00:07:38,835 --> 00:07:40,962
Somebody put that together for you, dude.
That's art.
165
00:07:41,045 --> 00:07:42,130
Sandwich artist.
166
00:07:42,213 --> 00:07:44,507
- So, let me lay this on you, Jay.
- Fuck.
167
00:07:44,590 --> 00:07:47,635
Your mama's pussy was the canvas.
Your dad's dick was the paintbrush.
168
00:07:47,718 --> 00:07:49,720
Boom. You're the art.
169
00:07:50,638 --> 00:07:52,223
- Thanks, James Franco.
- You got it.
170
00:07:52,306 --> 00:07:53,808
- Seth!
- Mindy, hello.
171
00:07:53,891 --> 00:07:55,476
- Oh, my God, great to see you.
- You, too.
172
00:07:55,560 --> 00:07:56,811
Long time. How's it going?
173
00:07:56,894 --> 00:07:59,214
- You know Jay?
- I don't think I've ever actually met you.
174
00:07:59,230 --> 00:08:00,910
You were so good in Million Dollar Baby.
175
00:08:00,982 --> 00:08:02,984
That's amazing.
Thank you so much for saying that.
176
00:08:03,067 --> 00:08:05,027
Oh, my God,
if I don't fuck Michael Cera tonight,
177
00:08:05,111 --> 00:08:07,071
- I'm gonna blow my brains out.
- What?
178
00:08:07,155 --> 00:08:09,365
Fucking pale, 110 pounds,
179
00:08:09,448 --> 00:08:12,910
hairless, probably has a huge cock,
coked out of his mind...
180
00:08:12,994 --> 00:08:15,246
You can do a lot better.
That's just trouble.
181
00:08:15,329 --> 00:08:18,916
So, Ri-Ri, how about you,
you ever see a psychiatrist?
182
00:08:23,588 --> 00:08:25,298
- That's not cool.
- Don't touch my butt, bitch.
183
00:08:25,381 --> 00:08:27,425
- Michael, that's not cool.
- Would you shut the fuck up, Jason!
184
00:08:27,508 --> 00:08:29,385
We're playing a game, man.
185
00:08:29,844 --> 00:08:31,637
Say cheese, baby.
186
00:08:33,014 --> 00:08:34,432
- What's up, buddy?
- How's it going, dude?
187
00:08:34,515 --> 00:08:35,725
Good to see you, man.
188
00:08:35,808 --> 00:08:37,409
- Is that Jay Baruchel?
- Hi, there. Hey.
189
00:08:37,435 --> 00:08:38,519
Oh, my God, get in here, dude.
190
00:08:38,603 --> 00:08:40,188
- How's it going, Jonah?
- What are you doing?
191
00:08:40,271 --> 00:08:42,523
- Good. How you doing, buddy?
- Oh, my gosh.
192
00:08:42,607 --> 00:08:44,650
- Welcome back.
- Thank you very much.
193
00:08:44,734 --> 00:08:46,611
- When'd you get in?
- This morning,
194
00:08:46,694 --> 00:08:48,529
and boy, are my arms tired.
195
00:08:50,114 --> 00:08:51,324
Dude, that's great.
196
00:08:51,407 --> 00:08:52,408
- Thank you.
- Sick.
197
00:08:52,491 --> 00:08:53,993
What have you guys been doing?
198
00:08:54,076 --> 00:08:55,912
We just hung out all day.
199
00:08:55,995 --> 00:08:59,916
Ate a bunch of dirty burgers,
and smoked about a fucking pound of weed
200
00:08:59,999 --> 00:09:01,417
and played a bunch of video games.
201
00:09:01,500 --> 00:09:03,711
Weed is tight. Weed is tight.
That's awesome.
202
00:09:03,794 --> 00:09:05,074
That's awesome. Weed is awesome.
203
00:09:05,087 --> 00:09:07,423
It was like
the golfing sequence in Navy SEALs.
204
00:09:07,506 --> 00:09:09,550
- Sick reference, though, bro.
- Thanks, bud.
205
00:09:09,634 --> 00:09:11,802
Dude, your references are out of control.
Everyone knows that.
206
00:09:11,886 --> 00:09:13,471
- Hey, thanks, man.
- I'm jealous.
207
00:09:13,554 --> 00:09:15,848
I would have been there in a heartbeat,
208
00:09:15,932 --> 00:09:19,227
but I actually just adopted
this incontinent spaniel.
209
00:09:19,310 --> 00:09:20,394
She's a really beautiful soul.
210
00:09:20,478 --> 00:09:22,104
- Her name's Ahjhai.
- Ahjhai?
211
00:09:22,188 --> 00:09:23,231
- Yeah.
- How do you spell it?
212
00:09:23,314 --> 00:09:26,067
- A-H-J-H-A-I.
- A-H...
213
00:09:26,150 --> 00:09:27,109
You want to see a picture of her?
214
00:09:27,193 --> 00:09:29,237
- She's so sweet.
- Hey!
215
00:09:29,320 --> 00:09:30,571
Look at her.
216
00:09:30,655 --> 00:09:32,375
She can't bark. She doesn't know how, so...
217
00:09:32,406 --> 00:09:34,575
- She doesn't know how to bark, even?
- She doesn't know how to bark,
218
00:09:34,659 --> 00:09:36,244
so I've tried to teach her
219
00:09:36,327 --> 00:09:38,496
and she just kind of screams,
and so she was up,
220
00:09:38,579 --> 00:09:41,832
had her face smushed against the cage,
and was, like...
221
00:09:43,459 --> 00:09:44,835
Yeah, cool.
222
00:09:45,503 --> 00:09:47,797
Tell you what, boys, I'm kind of jonesing,
223
00:09:47,880 --> 00:09:51,259
so I'm gonna find someone I can bum
a smoke off of outside, all right?
224
00:09:51,342 --> 00:09:54,178
- That's tight, dude. Honestly, I like you.
- Hey, likewise.
225
00:09:54,262 --> 00:09:55,680
Okay, dude, come back.
226
00:09:55,763 --> 00:09:58,599
I'll be right back. You're holding court.
All right, boys.
227
00:09:58,891 --> 00:10:01,894
Dude. I know.
I think we're making some progress.
228
00:10:01,978 --> 00:10:04,378
- That was really good.
- And honestly, he's your old friend.
229
00:10:04,397 --> 00:10:06,857
- We're your new friends. He feels threatened.
- Yeah, man.
230
00:10:06,941 --> 00:10:08,609
You know, and I get it.
231
00:10:08,693 --> 00:10:09,652
It's gonna be fine.
232
00:10:09,735 --> 00:10:12,376
I honestly think tonight's the night
we bust this whole thing open.
233
00:10:12,405 --> 00:10:15,574
And I'm lucky.
It's the same thing a lot, though.
234
00:10:15,658 --> 00:10:17,285
It's, like, my TV wife opens the fridge,
235
00:10:17,368 --> 00:10:20,204
and is like
"What happened to the birthday cake?"
236
00:10:20,288 --> 00:10:22,957
And I come out with, like,
a little frosting, like,
237
00:10:23,040 --> 00:10:24,375
"What birthday cake?"
238
00:10:24,458 --> 00:10:26,043
- 'Cause you ate the cake!
- Yeah.
239
00:10:26,127 --> 00:10:27,336
'Cause you ate the cake!
240
00:10:27,420 --> 00:10:28,629
"It's my birthday."
241
00:10:30,464 --> 00:10:33,050
That's why y'all number one.
'Cause of that.
242
00:10:33,384 --> 00:10:34,465
- You're Jay, right?
- Yeah.
243
00:10:34,510 --> 00:10:35,511
- Seth's boy?
- Yeah.
244
00:10:35,594 --> 00:10:38,014
- How you doing, man? Good to see you.
- Good. Likewise, likewise.
245
00:10:38,097 --> 00:10:40,099
- I'm Craig, man. This is Emma.
- Hi. Hi, there.
246
00:10:40,391 --> 00:10:41,809
You just in town visiting him, or what?
247
00:10:41,892 --> 00:10:45,021
Yeah. Just for a little visit, you know.
248
00:10:45,104 --> 00:10:47,106
I try to not come down here very much.
249
00:10:47,189 --> 00:10:48,482
I don't really love it here.
250
00:10:48,566 --> 00:10:53,404
- You don't like LA?
- I'm just not really into the LA lifestyle.
251
00:10:53,904 --> 00:10:55,197
What lifestyle are you into?
252
00:10:55,281 --> 00:10:57,783
Look at him. He's, like, a hipster, right?
253
00:10:57,867 --> 00:11:00,453
No, I'm not a hipster, at all.
254
00:11:00,536 --> 00:11:03,122
Yeah, yeah, you do seem
to hate a lot of things,
255
00:11:03,205 --> 00:11:04,874
and the bottom of your
pants are awful tight.
256
00:11:04,957 --> 00:11:08,794
No, I just... I don't like Los Angeles.
It doesn't make me a hipster.
257
00:11:08,878 --> 00:11:11,130
I'll bet you hate movies
that are universally loved.
258
00:11:11,213 --> 00:11:13,341
- I don't even...
- You like Forrest Gump?
259
00:11:13,424 --> 00:11:16,010
No, no, it's a horrendous piece of shit.
260
00:11:16,093 --> 00:11:18,179
"Life is like a box of chocolates," no?
261
00:11:18,262 --> 00:11:19,764
Yeah, no, I'm familiar with it.
262
00:11:20,848 --> 00:11:23,059
"You never know what you're gonna get."
263
00:11:24,268 --> 00:11:26,979
Why don't we do a sequel
to Pineapple Express?
264
00:11:27,063 --> 00:11:29,523
- I would love to do a sequel to Pineapple.
- Do you have any ideas, or...
265
00:11:29,607 --> 00:11:31,192
- I do have an idea.
- What?
266
00:11:31,275 --> 00:11:34,487
It's that Red, Danny,
has become, like, the drug lord,
267
00:11:34,570 --> 00:11:36,530
you know, since we killed the other one,
268
00:11:36,614 --> 00:11:38,699
and he wants
to assassinate Woody Harrelson,
269
00:11:38,783 --> 00:11:41,744
'cause he's gonna give a speech
that makes all of weed legal,
270
00:11:41,827 --> 00:11:44,246
effectively rendering
drug lords out of business.
271
00:11:44,330 --> 00:11:46,123
- Awesome.
- Yeah, it's fucking awesome,
272
00:11:46,207 --> 00:11:48,793
but we don't have...
We don't know how it should end yet.
273
00:11:48,876 --> 00:11:50,211
I know.
274
00:11:50,294 --> 00:11:52,880
- Danny's trying to kill us.
- Yeah.
275
00:11:52,963 --> 00:11:55,549
And I sacrifice myself for you.
276
00:11:55,633 --> 00:11:58,094
And he kills me,
277
00:11:58,177 --> 00:11:59,470
and I die for you.
278
00:12:00,096 --> 00:12:02,473
And Danny fucking eats me.
279
00:12:03,307 --> 00:12:05,142
- Why does he eat you?
- I don't know.
280
00:12:05,226 --> 00:12:07,770
I'm just trying to think of, like,
the nastiest way to go.
281
00:12:07,853 --> 00:12:10,231
Yeah, he could eat you. Okay.
That's a good idea, man.
282
00:12:10,314 --> 00:12:12,608
He's just out of his mind.
He just, like, eats me.
283
00:12:13,067 --> 00:12:14,276
- Hey, Chris.
- How's it going?
284
00:12:14,360 --> 00:12:16,320
Hey, does this coke smell funny?
285
00:12:16,404 --> 00:12:18,322
- Fuck!
- Michael, what the fuck, man?
286
00:12:18,406 --> 00:12:19,949
That's expensive shit, motherfucker!
287
00:12:20,032 --> 00:12:21,117
What are you doing?
288
00:12:21,200 --> 00:12:23,600
I've never fucking done cocaine, dude.
Why does it fucking...
289
00:12:23,661 --> 00:12:25,579
Well, you did the best shit possible
for your first time,
290
00:12:25,663 --> 00:12:27,915
- 'cause that's good fucking...
- Fuck, fuck, fuck, I'm nervous, dude.
291
00:12:27,998 --> 00:12:29,375
- I don't know what...
- What is wrong with you, man?
292
00:12:29,458 --> 00:12:30,501
- Look, he's freaking out.
- Oh, shit.
293
00:12:30,584 --> 00:12:32,044
I've never done
this fucking drug before, man.
294
00:12:32,128 --> 00:12:33,129
Mike, please.
295
00:12:33,212 --> 00:12:34,839
I'll walk you through it.
I will walk you through it.
296
00:12:34,922 --> 00:12:36,674
- Mike, no one...
- I'll be your guide.
297
00:12:36,757 --> 00:12:38,342
- You're fine, Chris. You're fine.
- Is it on...
298
00:12:38,426 --> 00:12:40,986
- You got some in your mustache, baby.
- What are you... Michael!
299
00:12:41,262 --> 00:12:45,099
Now, fellas, I want you to real sexy right now.
We're gonna sing to all the ladies.
300
00:12:45,182 --> 00:12:48,602
All the fellas go like this,
in your Barry White voice.
301
00:12:48,686 --> 00:12:50,354
Take your panties off
302
00:12:50,438 --> 00:12:52,022
Take your panties off
303
00:12:52,106 --> 00:12:53,691
Take your panties off
304
00:12:54,150 --> 00:12:55,609
Take your panties off
305
00:12:55,693 --> 00:12:58,946
Come on, Rihanna
Take your panties off for me
306
00:12:59,029 --> 00:13:02,032
Come on, Craig, can you fuck off for me?
307
00:13:04,952 --> 00:13:06,662
I'll do one of them things.
308
00:13:07,288 --> 00:13:08,539
Like an angel.
309
00:13:08,622 --> 00:13:10,291
What about the host of the party?
310
00:13:10,374 --> 00:13:12,042
I ain't got no panties on
311
00:13:12,668 --> 00:13:14,795
He ain't got no panties, everybody!
312
00:13:14,879 --> 00:13:16,630
We ain't got no panties on
313
00:13:16,714 --> 00:13:18,382
We ain't got no panties on
314
00:13:18,466 --> 00:13:20,134
We ain't got no panties on
315
00:13:20,217 --> 00:13:22,428
We ain't got no panties on
316
00:13:23,762 --> 00:13:25,514
Ain't nobody got no panties on
317
00:13:25,598 --> 00:13:27,057
We ain't got no panties on
318
00:13:27,141 --> 00:13:29,977
Ain't no party like a no-panty party
'Cause a no-panty party don't stop
319
00:13:30,519 --> 00:13:32,188
Fuck those panties
320
00:13:32,271 --> 00:13:33,772
Fuck those...
321
00:13:33,856 --> 00:13:35,774
Fuck those panties
322
00:13:35,858 --> 00:13:37,359
Fuck those panties
323
00:13:37,443 --> 00:13:38,944
Fuck those panties
324
00:13:39,028 --> 00:13:40,321
What's not kid-friendly?
325
00:13:40,404 --> 00:13:41,822
- There's a lot of sharp edges.
- Concrete, sharp edges.
326
00:13:41,906 --> 00:13:43,407
He's gonna bust his head open
on one of those things.
327
00:13:43,491 --> 00:13:45,784
A kid could fall off
this fucking railing right here.
328
00:13:45,868 --> 00:13:47,661
That's why you have the railing,
so they don't fall.
329
00:13:47,745 --> 00:13:49,663
- Hey. Sorry.
- I want to have kids one day.
330
00:13:49,747 --> 00:13:52,374
- Hey, Jay.
- Oh, hey, hi, Jonah.
331
00:13:52,458 --> 00:13:54,460
Is there any place around here
I can buy a pack of cigarettes?
332
00:13:54,543 --> 00:13:55,586
Yeah.
333
00:13:55,669 --> 00:13:57,910
There's a place like,
it's like, four blocks away, maybe.
334
00:13:57,963 --> 00:13:59,340
You want to come with me?
335
00:13:59,423 --> 00:14:01,383
Give me this much time.
That much joint time.
336
00:14:03,969 --> 00:14:05,763
- Jesus!
- Hey, Jay.
337
00:14:06,222 --> 00:14:08,265
Hey, you need to use the toilet, honey?
Go ahead.
338
00:14:08,933 --> 00:14:10,768
Nope, I'm... I sorry.
339
00:14:11,101 --> 00:14:13,354
Who wants a sip? Sip time.
340
00:14:25,533 --> 00:14:26,617
You okay, man?
341
00:14:26,700 --> 00:14:28,369
It's nothing. It's just, you know,
342
00:14:28,452 --> 00:14:31,580
as soon as we got there,
you did what you said you wouldn't do.
343
00:14:31,664 --> 00:14:33,958
- What did I do?
- You just fucking ditched my ass.
344
00:14:34,041 --> 00:14:36,835
I didn't ditch you. Are
you kidding me, man?
345
00:14:36,919 --> 00:14:38,128
I did not ditch you.
346
00:14:38,212 --> 00:14:41,549
I was talking to Jonah,
and then you left to go have a cigarette.
347
00:14:41,632 --> 00:14:44,718
Well, you know, my cigarette was an excuse.
348
00:14:44,802 --> 00:14:46,887
I really went outside
'cause Jonah was being a prick.
349
00:14:46,971 --> 00:14:48,639
Jonah was not being a prick.
350
00:14:48,722 --> 00:14:50,224
If anything, you were
kind of being a prick.
351
00:14:50,307 --> 00:14:51,892
Jonah's the nicest guy ever, man.
352
00:14:51,976 --> 00:14:54,687
Oh, my God, that's a
thin veneer of kindness.
353
00:14:54,770 --> 00:14:55,771
Nobody's that nice.
354
00:14:55,854 --> 00:14:56,939
Jonah is that nice.
355
00:14:57,022 --> 00:14:58,566
Serial killers are that nice.
356
00:14:58,649 --> 00:15:00,568
Just answer me one question.
357
00:15:00,651 --> 00:15:02,903
Is Michael Cera's butthole
as adorable as I pictured?
358
00:15:02,987 --> 00:15:04,238
For fuck's sake.
359
00:15:04,321 --> 00:15:08,033
I picture it looking like a little donut,
like a little pink sprinkled donut.
360
00:15:08,492 --> 00:15:10,077
It's so bright in here.
361
00:15:10,160 --> 00:15:11,745
It is fucking bright.
362
00:15:11,829 --> 00:15:13,581
I'm so high.
363
00:15:13,664 --> 00:15:17,126
There's so many delicious choices.
What do I do?
364
00:15:17,209 --> 00:15:19,086
- I'm gonna get something to drink.
- Okay.
365
00:15:19,169 --> 00:15:22,423
Excuse me, would it be possible
for my daughter to use your restroom?
366
00:15:22,506 --> 00:15:23,966
She's really got to go.
367
00:15:24,049 --> 00:15:26,427
Read the sign. Customers only.
368
00:15:26,510 --> 00:15:27,511
Seriously?
369
00:15:27,595 --> 00:15:30,222
Why the fuck you think I put up the sign?
370
00:15:30,306 --> 00:15:32,099
It's okay, Dad. I can hold it.
371
00:15:32,182 --> 00:15:34,685
Let's just buy something for your mother.
372
00:15:34,768 --> 00:15:37,313
Yeah, well, I guess you better?
373
00:15:37,396 --> 00:15:40,941
This cash register lady is mean.
I have anxiety. Will you buy this for me?
374
00:15:41,025 --> 00:15:42,484
When I'm stoned, I can't do this.
375
00:15:42,568 --> 00:15:44,778
I think I'm just gonna head
back to your place.
376
00:15:44,862 --> 00:15:47,740
I'm not really liking it very much
over there at Franco's.
377
00:15:47,823 --> 00:15:50,242
Dude, I want you to get to know these guys.
That's never gonna happen
378
00:15:50,326 --> 00:15:53,245
if you don't put in
any effort whatsoever, okay?
379
00:15:53,329 --> 00:15:54,872
I hate it in there.
380
00:15:54,955 --> 00:15:57,541
I just want to drink some pop
and smoke some weed.
381
00:16:15,476 --> 00:16:16,727
What about...
382
00:16:19,396 --> 00:16:21,148
What about me?
383
00:16:46,423 --> 00:16:47,925
Are you okay? Are you okay?
384
00:16:48,008 --> 00:16:49,385
Did you just see that?
385
00:16:49,468 --> 00:16:50,803
What the hell?
386
00:16:52,179 --> 00:16:54,973
- Oh, my God, Jesus, Jesus!
- Run, run, run!
387
00:16:56,225 --> 00:16:59,144
- This way!
- Okay, okay, okay!
388
00:17:03,107 --> 00:17:04,858
Oh, my God!
389
00:17:04,942 --> 00:17:06,193
Jesus.
390
00:17:07,778 --> 00:17:08,862
Run!
391
00:17:08,946 --> 00:17:10,280
Jesus Christ!
392
00:17:10,656 --> 00:17:13,617
Why the fuck did you bring me down here?
393
00:17:15,786 --> 00:17:17,871
- The fuck, Seth?
- I don't know what's happening!
394
00:17:19,164 --> 00:17:21,041
- We're going back to Franco's.
- Why?
395
00:17:21,834 --> 00:17:24,044
Just run! Keep running!
396
00:17:24,128 --> 00:17:25,421
Oh, my fuck!
397
00:17:27,047 --> 00:17:29,216
We are going back to Franco's!
398
00:17:29,299 --> 00:17:30,342
God damn it.
399
00:17:31,969 --> 00:17:33,470
- Jesus!
- Shit!
400
00:17:34,346 --> 00:17:37,516
This way. We're almost there!
We're so close!
401
00:17:42,813 --> 00:17:43,814
Hey, you guys okay?
402
00:17:43,897 --> 00:17:44,982
Are you guys Okay?
403
00:17:45,065 --> 00:17:47,901
There was a crazy earthquake.
Did you guys feel that?
404
00:17:47,985 --> 00:17:49,403
- That was insane.
- Fuck, no.
405
00:17:49,486 --> 00:17:52,239
We can't feel anything in here.
This place is a fucking fortress.
406
00:17:52,322 --> 00:17:54,116
That wasn't an earthquake, man.
407
00:17:54,199 --> 00:17:55,784
- That was something way fucking crazier.
- No...
408
00:17:55,868 --> 00:17:56,869
What's crazier than an earthquake?
409
00:17:56,952 --> 00:18:00,414
There were beams of blue light
coming out of the sky
410
00:18:00,497 --> 00:18:03,000
and people getting sucked up into the sky.
411
00:18:03,083 --> 00:18:05,294
He's on hallucinogens.
412
00:18:05,377 --> 00:18:09,089
Come on, guys. Don't bully Jay.
He's a sweetheart.
413
00:18:09,173 --> 00:18:10,893
Keep going, man.
What are you talking about?
414
00:18:11,842 --> 00:18:16,764
There were people, and they were there,
and they got sucked up into the sky.
415
00:18:16,847 --> 00:18:18,640
- Jay.
- Sucked up into the sky?
416
00:18:18,724 --> 00:18:20,267
Nobody got sucked up in here.
417
00:18:20,350 --> 00:18:22,352
I got sucked off here.
418
00:18:26,273 --> 00:18:28,984
No, okay, ask Seth. He was...
You were there. Tell them.
419
00:18:29,067 --> 00:18:31,487
Seth, what the fuck's he talking about?
420
00:18:34,239 --> 00:18:37,159
I have no idea
what he's talking about honestly.
421
00:18:37,242 --> 00:18:39,995
Did anybody get sucked up into the sky?
422
00:18:40,078 --> 00:18:42,623
I didn't see anything.
I don't know what he's talking about.
423
00:18:42,706 --> 00:18:44,291
You were there with me.
What are you saying?
424
00:18:44,374 --> 00:18:47,374
All those people that were in the store
with us, they just fucking vanished.
425
00:18:47,419 --> 00:18:49,171
I didn't see blue light
sucking people up in the sky.
426
00:18:49,254 --> 00:18:51,632
You sound crazy, man.
We should just be lucky we're...
427
00:18:51,715 --> 00:18:54,009
- it's not over!
- It's okay. Just relax.
428
00:18:54,426 --> 00:18:58,639
Everyone, it's all right. Just a little tremor.
Party's still going.
429
00:18:58,722 --> 00:19:01,183
In-N-Out truck's coming in 10 minutes.
430
00:19:01,975 --> 00:19:03,894
- Yes.
- Animal style!
431
00:19:03,977 --> 00:19:05,646
Oh, my fuck!
432
00:19:05,729 --> 00:19:07,523
- Let's go! Let's go! Let's go!
- Move! Move!
433
00:19:07,606 --> 00:19:09,817
- Move, move, move, move!
- This place is safe!
434
00:19:09,900 --> 00:19:11,652
This place is not safe!
435
00:19:11,735 --> 00:19:12,986
Craig, where you going, man?
436
00:19:13,070 --> 00:19:14,905
- It's a fucking earthquake!
- Fuck!
437
00:19:14,988 --> 00:19:16,824
- Move, move, move, come on!
- Get out of my way. Move, girl!
438
00:19:16,907 --> 00:19:19,076
- Oh, my God, Seth!
- Oh, shit!
439
00:19:19,159 --> 00:19:20,577
- Seth.
- What the fuck?
440
00:19:20,661 --> 00:19:23,997
Don't go on the grass,
not everybody on the grass!
441
00:19:34,508 --> 00:19:36,051
What the fuck?
442
00:19:36,134 --> 00:19:37,553
Oh, God!
443
00:19:37,636 --> 00:19:39,221
- What the fuck is happening?
- Paul!
444
00:19:39,304 --> 00:19:40,722
What's happening?
445
00:19:40,806 --> 00:19:43,517
All right, everybody, listen up. Listen up.
446
00:19:43,600 --> 00:19:46,270
Who took my fucking cell phone, man?
447
00:19:46,353 --> 00:19:48,939
- Martin, empty your pockets!
- What?
448
00:19:49,022 --> 00:19:51,441
I saw you in the bathroom, man!
Somebody dial my phone!
449
00:19:51,525 --> 00:19:53,360
Shut the fuck up! It's unbelievable!
450
00:19:53,443 --> 00:19:56,738
It's unacceptable after all the coke
I've wasted on you people.
451
00:19:56,822 --> 00:19:59,199
- I've thrown it away.
- I didn't take your fucking cell phone.
452
00:19:59,283 --> 00:20:02,452
- 310...
- Mike, Mike, Mike, Mike, Mike, Mike...
453
00:20:04,162 --> 00:20:05,455
My face!
454
00:20:05,539 --> 00:20:07,749
What's happening to me? What's happening?
455
00:20:07,833 --> 00:20:09,251
Oh, my God!
456
00:20:22,139 --> 00:20:23,932
Shit, that's embarrassing.
457
00:20:42,326 --> 00:20:43,327
Rihanna!
458
00:20:51,084 --> 00:20:52,127
Please give me your foot!
459
00:20:52,210 --> 00:20:53,587
Oh, my God!
460
00:20:56,506 --> 00:20:58,216
Craig, Craig, help me. I'm losing my grip!
461
00:20:58,300 --> 00:20:59,635
It's too late for you!
You're already in the hole!
462
00:20:59,718 --> 00:21:02,399
- What the fuck are you talking about?
- Get the fuck out of my way!
463
00:21:05,933 --> 00:21:06,934
Sorry.
464
00:21:08,268 --> 00:21:09,603
Karen!
465
00:21:09,686 --> 00:21:12,356
Seth, come on! Get in the house!
Come on, Seth!
466
00:21:16,610 --> 00:21:18,695
Oh, my God, I'm gonna die!
467
00:21:20,781 --> 00:21:22,157
Martin!
468
00:21:22,240 --> 00:21:24,451
- Shit!
- Kevin! Kevin!
469
00:21:24,534 --> 00:21:25,577
What the fuck?
470
00:21:25,661 --> 00:21:27,329
Geez, get the fuck off me, Aziz!
471
00:21:31,375 --> 00:21:33,085
Fuck you, Kevin!
472
00:21:34,086 --> 00:21:36,296
Oh, God, no, get your fucking hands off me!
473
00:21:36,380 --> 00:21:37,631
Get your fucking...
474
00:21:49,309 --> 00:21:50,477
No!
475
00:21:51,395 --> 00:21:53,480
Jay, I can't hold on much longer.
476
00:21:53,563 --> 00:21:56,483
You have to reach out and grab me.
You hear?
477
00:21:56,566 --> 00:22:00,278
Okay, you take my hand,
and I will swing you up.
478
00:22:00,362 --> 00:22:02,030
Are you sure?
I'm gonna give you my whole weight.
479
00:22:02,114 --> 00:22:03,490
- I'm gonna reach for you, all right?
- Yeah, yeah.
480
00:22:03,573 --> 00:22:05,325
Are you sure you can do that?
481
00:22:05,409 --> 00:22:06,660
I can grab you on three.
482
00:22:06,743 --> 00:22:08,328
One, two, three.
483
00:22:11,581 --> 00:22:12,582
All right, buddy.
484
00:22:12,666 --> 00:22:15,794
- Now I'm gonna, I'm gonna swing across.
- I got you, buddy.
485
00:22:15,877 --> 00:22:18,422
- You're gonna hold my weight, all of it.
- Okay, come on.
486
00:22:18,505 --> 00:22:20,507
- You can hold on to my full weight?
- I can do it.
487
00:22:20,590 --> 00:22:21,550
- I don't want to die.
- Okay.
488
00:22:21,633 --> 00:22:23,301
- One, two...
- Two, three.
489
00:22:23,802 --> 00:22:25,053
No!
490
00:22:25,929 --> 00:22:29,099
No! No!
491
00:22:51,496 --> 00:22:53,165
Oh, man.
492
00:22:54,916 --> 00:22:56,126
Fuck.
493
00:23:06,303 --> 00:23:07,596
- Holy shit!
- What happened?
494
00:23:07,679 --> 00:23:09,222
- Jay, you're alive.
- Jay.
495
00:23:09,306 --> 00:23:10,682
- Oh, thank God, Jay.
- I'm not dead yet.
496
00:23:10,766 --> 00:23:12,267
I told you guys not to go outside.
497
00:23:12,350 --> 00:23:14,853
- What just happened?
- Jesus Christ, they are all fucking dead.
498
00:23:14,936 --> 00:23:17,564
- I told you guys not to run outside.
- You all right?
499
00:23:17,647 --> 00:23:21,443
- I tried to save Aziz. I tried.
- You did your best, man. I love you.
500
00:23:21,526 --> 00:23:23,820
Why the fuck did you guys run out there?
501
00:23:23,904 --> 00:23:25,447
You know what, James,
can you lower your voice?
502
00:23:25,530 --> 00:23:26,740
You're freaking out Jay!
503
00:23:26,823 --> 00:23:28,658
Maybe I'm a little freaked out, too!
504
00:23:28,742 --> 00:23:30,410
- He's not as strong as you.
- They all fell in.
505
00:23:30,494 --> 00:23:32,894
- Look at my house!
- I tried to save them. They all fell in.
506
00:23:33,371 --> 00:23:35,248
Get your fucking hands off me.
Jonah, stop touching me.
507
00:23:35,332 --> 00:23:38,126
Can we get Jay some water, please?
Can we get him some hydration?
508
00:23:38,210 --> 00:23:39,669
- He needs to be hydrated.
- The water's not working!
509
00:23:39,753 --> 00:23:41,254
Everyone just runs out the door!
510
00:23:41,338 --> 00:23:42,589
My phone is dead.
511
00:23:42,672 --> 00:23:44,341
Guys, the fucking Internet's not working!
512
00:23:44,424 --> 00:23:46,301
Let's watch the TV. Let's check the news.
513
00:23:46,384 --> 00:23:48,178
Where is the TV?
514
00:23:48,261 --> 00:23:50,263
- It's in the floor.
- In the floor?
515
00:23:50,347 --> 00:23:52,099
- That's dope.
- Yeah, cool?
516
00:23:52,182 --> 00:23:53,183
That's really neat.
517
00:23:53,266 --> 00:23:54,643
That is impressive, James.
518
00:23:54,726 --> 00:23:56,895
The biggest earthquake to ever hit Los...
519
00:23:56,978 --> 00:23:59,773
Officers urging people to stay
in their homes right now.
520
00:23:59,856 --> 00:24:02,943
And also reports of looting and rioting
are spreading across the city.
521
00:24:03,026 --> 00:24:04,194
Riots.
522
00:24:04,277 --> 00:24:07,781
Police are pretty much outnumbered
as people are turning to one another.
523
00:24:07,864 --> 00:24:09,616
Martial law has now been declared.
524
00:24:09,699 --> 00:24:11,159
Air Force One has gone down...
525
00:24:12,327 --> 00:24:15,205
Shit. It's gone, guys.
526
00:24:16,123 --> 00:24:19,459
So I think we should...
527
00:24:19,543 --> 00:24:22,629
I think we should probably
go back to your place?
528
00:24:22,712 --> 00:24:24,131
What are you talking about, man?
529
00:24:24,214 --> 00:24:27,384
No, no way. I'm not leaving here.
530
00:24:27,467 --> 00:24:30,846
I don't want to die at
James Franco's house.
531
00:24:31,346 --> 00:24:32,806
You heard the TV.
532
00:24:32,889 --> 00:24:36,560
The TV said stay here.
It said stay in your homes.
533
00:24:36,643 --> 00:24:39,729
We need to stay here
until they start rescuing people, okay?
534
00:24:39,813 --> 00:24:42,315
A huge earthquake happens.
Who do they rescue first?
535
00:24:42,399 --> 00:24:43,817
- Actors.
- Famous people.
536
00:24:43,900 --> 00:24:46,361
They'll get Clooney, Sandra Bullock, me.
537
00:24:46,444 --> 00:24:48,196
If there's room, you guys'll come.
538
00:24:48,280 --> 00:24:50,640
The point is, is that
we're all gonna get out of this first.
539
00:24:51,575 --> 00:24:53,994
- What the hell was that?
- It's already going crazy out there, guys.
540
00:24:54,077 --> 00:24:57,330
We can't leave. I'm not leaving, okay?
I'm a victim.
541
00:24:57,414 --> 00:25:00,250
I've had a victim's mentality my whole life.
People can smell it on me.
542
00:25:00,333 --> 00:25:02,169
When I was a kid, I had man-titties.
543
00:25:02,252 --> 00:25:03,920
The bullies held me down,
they tittie-fucked me.
544
00:25:04,004 --> 00:25:05,338
That's what's happening
out there right now.
545
00:25:05,422 --> 00:25:06,673
That's right, we are all soft.
546
00:25:06,756 --> 00:25:07,883
- Yeah.
- We are all soft!
547
00:25:07,966 --> 00:25:09,926
We are actors! We pretend to be hard, man.
548
00:25:10,010 --> 00:25:11,845
- Yeah.
- We soft as baby shit.
549
00:25:11,928 --> 00:25:14,514
As baby shit, soft as...
Wait, Craig, what are you doing, man?
550
00:25:14,598 --> 00:25:17,100
Hey, hey, what are you doing?
What are you doing to the painting, man?
551
00:25:17,184 --> 00:25:18,810
- We got to board this shit up, man.
- Board it up?
552
00:25:18,894 --> 00:25:20,353
We got to protect ourselves. We don't know
553
00:25:20,437 --> 00:25:22,105
- how long we gonna be in here.
- Okay, chill.
554
00:25:22,189 --> 00:25:23,398
There's raccoons, and bandits,
and shit out there.
555
00:25:23,481 --> 00:25:24,941
- This is Obey, man!
- If you get out the way!
556
00:25:25,025 --> 00:25:27,360
This is my favorite fucking painting!
What are you doing, Craig?
557
00:25:27,444 --> 00:25:28,445
Guys, help.
558
00:25:28,528 --> 00:25:30,363
Help. Help. Get off.
559
00:25:31,823 --> 00:25:33,033
Chill. Look.
560
00:25:33,116 --> 00:25:34,910
Helicopter! Helicopter!
561
00:25:36,286 --> 00:25:40,040
The good guys are here.
We're fine! It's gonna be fine.
562
00:25:44,711 --> 00:25:45,795
God damn!
563
00:25:46,338 --> 00:25:47,756
God damn!
564
00:25:48,173 --> 00:25:49,591
Shit!
565
00:25:49,674 --> 00:25:52,093
- You okay?
- No, I'm not okay!
566
00:25:52,177 --> 00:25:54,304
Fuck your house, Franco!
567
00:25:54,387 --> 00:25:56,640
My house didn't do that!
568
00:26:02,145 --> 00:26:05,106
You don't got a tool kit or nothing?
Just a toolbox?
569
00:26:05,190 --> 00:26:06,566
I don't know. Look in there.
570
00:26:10,237 --> 00:26:12,113
Where's the edge of this shit?
571
00:26:12,197 --> 00:26:14,324
Your thumb's in my butthole, man.
572
00:26:15,909 --> 00:26:17,577
Y'all need this dick?
573
00:26:17,661 --> 00:26:18,662
No, we're not using it.
574
00:26:18,745 --> 00:26:20,306
All right, I'm gonna take it over here.
575
00:26:20,330 --> 00:26:22,666
- Careful with that dick.
- Damn.
576
00:26:26,002 --> 00:26:27,379
It's heavy.
577
00:26:28,004 --> 00:26:31,174
There it is, got that dick now.
578
00:26:31,258 --> 00:26:33,677
That dick is coming now.
579
00:26:34,219 --> 00:26:36,513
Yeah, got this big dick.
580
00:26:40,725 --> 00:26:42,143
Hey, hey.
581
00:26:42,227 --> 00:26:43,812
- What now?
- Listen.
582
00:26:43,895 --> 00:26:46,940
Not the Rogen, all right? Don't take him.
583
00:26:47,023 --> 00:26:48,066
Take me.
584
00:26:48,149 --> 00:26:51,611
We got 12 bottles of water,
56 beers, two vodkas,
585
00:26:51,695 --> 00:26:54,781
four whiskeys, six bottles of wine,
tequila, Nutella,
586
00:26:54,864 --> 00:26:58,576
cheese, pizza, eggs, bananas,
apples, bacon, steaks,
587
00:26:58,660 --> 00:27:02,580
pancake mix, CT Crunch, milk,
ketchup, a Milky Way,
588
00:27:02,664 --> 00:27:05,709
half ounce Sour Diesel,
three and a half grams Grand Master Kush,
589
00:27:05,792 --> 00:27:07,961
one ounce of 'shrooms, 15 pills of ecstasy,
590
00:27:08,044 --> 00:27:10,046
a porno mag, a baseball bat,
591
00:27:10,130 --> 00:27:12,465
and the video camera
from the movie 27 Hours.
592
00:27:12,549 --> 00:27:14,050
127 Hours.
593
00:27:15,885 --> 00:27:17,679
127 Hours.
594
00:27:17,762 --> 00:27:20,974
And a functioning revolver
from the movie Flyboys.
595
00:27:21,057 --> 00:27:22,434
Old Faithful.
596
00:27:22,517 --> 00:27:23,852
- Jesus.
- Thing's real.
597
00:27:23,935 --> 00:27:25,729
- No, I kept this from the movie.
- Yeah.
598
00:27:25,812 --> 00:27:27,355
- This is an actual revolver.
- I see.
599
00:27:27,439 --> 00:27:29,607
Franco, that's very uncomfortable.
Could you put that down, please?
600
00:27:29,691 --> 00:27:30,650
Loaded.
601
00:27:30,734 --> 00:27:32,152
- Love it.
- Awesome.
602
00:27:32,235 --> 00:27:33,903
- Can you just put the gun away?
- I always keep my props.
603
00:27:33,987 --> 00:27:36,031
- That's really cool.
- Always keep my props.
604
00:27:36,114 --> 00:27:37,198
I know how to handle it.
605
00:27:37,282 --> 00:27:40,285
He knows what he's doing. I like this bit.
I like it. I get it. Let me see.
606
00:27:40,368 --> 00:27:42,368
- It's real. It's heavy.
- Let me see it like that.
607
00:27:42,412 --> 00:27:43,997
- God damn!
- Come on, guys!
608
00:27:44,080 --> 00:27:45,240
- You could kill...
- Careful.
609
00:27:45,248 --> 00:27:46,333
- Bang, bang!
- Jesus!
610
00:27:46,416 --> 00:27:47,709
- Please, put it down!
- Fuck!
611
00:27:47,792 --> 00:27:49,878
Bang, bang, bang. You're dead.
612
00:27:49,961 --> 00:27:52,005
- I hope you're fucking happy.
- Pow, pow, pow.
613
00:27:52,088 --> 00:27:53,757
Stop... Guys, stop fucking with the gun.
614
00:27:53,840 --> 00:27:55,342
- Jesus! Jesus!
- Pow, pow.
615
00:27:55,425 --> 00:27:56,426
- It's a real gun!
- Bang.
616
00:27:56,509 --> 00:27:57,510
It's so funny. It's so funny.
617
00:27:57,594 --> 00:27:59,054
- Guys, it's funny.
- It's not funny!
618
00:27:59,137 --> 00:28:00,513
We're getting sidetracked.
619
00:28:00,597 --> 00:28:01,890
I'm sorry. I'm sorry.
620
00:28:01,973 --> 00:28:03,350
- I'll just kill myself.
- No!
621
00:28:03,433 --> 00:28:04,673
- Don't do that, Jonah!
- Jesus.
622
00:28:04,684 --> 00:28:05,685
- Oh, no.
- Jonah, give it back.
623
00:28:05,769 --> 00:28:07,354
- I don't know! I don't know.
- Don't do that.
624
00:28:07,437 --> 00:28:09,189
- Jonah.
- I'm so...
625
00:28:09,272 --> 00:28:11,024
- Oh, my God. Hey.
- Oh, dude.
626
00:28:11,107 --> 00:28:13,026
- Come on, no, no. Don't. Jesus!
- Would you put the thing down?
627
00:28:13,109 --> 00:28:14,194
The whole...
628
00:28:14,277 --> 00:28:15,598
I'm trying to have some fun, man.
629
00:28:15,653 --> 00:28:17,322
Okay, okay, Jesus.
630
00:28:17,405 --> 00:28:19,491
Look, just because a bunch
of people fell into a hole outside
631
00:28:19,574 --> 00:28:21,014
doesn't mean we can't have some fun.
632
00:28:21,076 --> 00:28:23,703
We're a bunch of best friends hanging out.
It's like a sleepover.
633
00:28:23,787 --> 00:28:26,164
Okay, food.
How are we gonna deal with this?
634
00:28:28,124 --> 00:28:29,334
Can I have that Milky Way?
635
00:28:29,417 --> 00:28:30,877
No, you can't have the Milky Way.
636
00:28:30,960 --> 00:28:32,087
- That's my Milky Way.
- There's a bunch... What?
637
00:28:32,170 --> 00:28:33,546
I went out this morning,
638
00:28:33,630 --> 00:28:36,716
specifically bought this Milky Way
to eat after my party.
639
00:28:36,800 --> 00:28:39,302
- That's weird.
- It's not weird. It's my special food.
640
00:28:39,386 --> 00:28:41,054
I like it. Back me up on that, Seth.
641
00:28:41,137 --> 00:28:42,389
I don't think you should get
the whole Milky Way.
642
00:28:42,472 --> 00:28:43,515
I want some of the Milky Way.
643
00:28:43,598 --> 00:28:46,319
I'd be pretty bummed if I don't
at least get a bite of the Milky Way.
644
00:28:46,393 --> 00:28:47,435
Now Craig wants a bite of the Milky Way.
645
00:28:47,519 --> 00:28:49,999
Yeah, I want a bite of the Milky Way.
It's a fucking Milky Way.
646
00:28:50,021 --> 00:28:52,732
A fifth of everything
is what's fair and reasonable.
647
00:28:52,816 --> 00:28:54,609
Everyone gets a fifth of everything.
648
00:28:54,692 --> 00:28:56,236
I want one-fifth of your T-shirt!
649
00:28:56,319 --> 00:28:58,071
I want the bottom part, the belly.
650
00:28:58,154 --> 00:28:59,614
I'm not sporting a crop top in your house.
651
00:28:59,697 --> 00:29:01,241
I'll cut that shit off and make a headband.
652
00:29:01,324 --> 00:29:03,034
You couldn't handle my midriff.
653
00:29:03,118 --> 00:29:05,954
Guys, the only issue is,
I kind of need the Milky Way.
654
00:29:06,037 --> 00:29:07,205
For fuck's sake.
655
00:29:07,288 --> 00:29:08,581
No, for real, I have low blood sugar,
656
00:29:08,665 --> 00:29:09,666
and if my endorphins drop too low,
657
00:29:09,749 --> 00:29:10,750
I'm gonna be a nightmare to be around.
658
00:29:10,834 --> 00:29:12,752
- What?
- Your LBS starts acting up,
659
00:29:12,836 --> 00:29:14,796
you can have a finger scoop of Nutella,
okay?
660
00:29:14,879 --> 00:29:17,298
- One finger scoop of Nutella.
- Fair.
661
00:29:17,382 --> 00:29:19,008
I'm going to bed.
662
00:29:19,092 --> 00:29:20,510
Jesus fucking...
663
00:29:20,593 --> 00:29:22,178
Don't touch that Milky Way, Jonah.
664
00:29:22,262 --> 00:29:23,555
Night, James.
665
00:29:28,351 --> 00:29:30,937
Oh, God, no!
666
00:29:31,771 --> 00:29:33,064
Fuck.
667
00:30:01,885 --> 00:30:04,304
- Hey.
- Hey.
668
00:30:04,804 --> 00:30:06,181
I'm gonna sleep with you.
669
00:30:06,264 --> 00:30:07,640
- What?
- I'm gonna sleep with you.
670
00:30:07,724 --> 00:30:09,851
- It's too scary to sleep alone.
- But this is my little area.
671
00:30:09,934 --> 00:30:11,561
Well, I'm invading your little area.
672
00:30:11,644 --> 00:30:14,564
I'm sorry, but I'm too scared, okay?
673
00:30:14,647 --> 00:30:15,648
Are you mad at me, man?
674
00:30:15,732 --> 00:30:17,484
If I was pissed at you,
675
00:30:17,567 --> 00:30:19,819
I'm sure it would have something to do
676
00:30:19,903 --> 00:30:24,574
with the fact that I had no interest
in coming to this house socially,
677
00:30:24,657 --> 00:30:27,494
and now, I am barricaded in here
678
00:30:27,577 --> 00:30:30,538
with a bunch of people that I really hate.
679
00:30:30,914 --> 00:30:32,665
Maybe this was meant to be.
680
00:30:32,749 --> 00:30:36,002
Maybe this horrible, horrible,
deadly earthquake happened
681
00:30:36,085 --> 00:30:38,379
so we could become closer
as a group of friends.
682
00:30:38,463 --> 00:30:42,050
I don't need a group. I'm like DMX, man.
I'm a lone wolf.
683
00:30:42,133 --> 00:30:45,762
DMX isn't a lone wolf.
DMX has the Ruff Ryder crew.
684
00:30:45,845 --> 00:30:48,139
You can't stop, drop,
and open up shop alone.
685
00:30:48,223 --> 00:30:52,352
You need people to help you
in an earthquake disastery situation.
686
00:30:52,435 --> 00:30:56,356
It was something else. It was Judgment Day.
687
00:30:56,439 --> 00:30:57,815
Like Terminator 2?
688
00:30:57,899 --> 00:31:00,151
No, not like Terminator 2. For God's sakes.
689
00:31:00,235 --> 00:31:02,028
Like Skynet? You think this is Skynet?
690
00:31:02,111 --> 00:31:03,363
- Like, Skynet went live?
- No.
691
00:31:03,446 --> 00:31:05,198
Will you please stop saying "Skynet"?
692
00:31:05,281 --> 00:31:07,408
Well, you're the one
that said Judgment Day.
693
00:31:07,492 --> 00:31:09,077
The biblical Judgment Day.
694
00:31:10,411 --> 00:31:12,205
- What?
- That's crazy. It's just...
695
00:31:12,288 --> 00:31:14,582
- You fucking heathen.
- Okay, here's the thing.
696
00:31:14,666 --> 00:31:18,545
Let's say for a second there was blue light
sucking people up into the sky.
697
00:31:18,628 --> 00:31:22,131
That means that we were not
awesome enough to go to heaven.
698
00:31:22,465 --> 00:31:24,551
Shit! Shit.
699
00:31:29,305 --> 00:31:31,099
What y'all doing?
700
00:31:31,808 --> 00:31:32,934
Fuck you, Craig.
701
00:31:33,017 --> 00:31:34,852
I'm scared. It's scary by myself.
702
00:31:34,936 --> 00:31:36,563
It's way better with more people.
703
00:31:36,980 --> 00:31:40,525
- I'm gonna come down here.
- Yeah, good, yeah. Get in here, man.
704
00:31:40,608 --> 00:31:41,568
Get right in there.
705
00:31:41,651 --> 00:31:43,236
So, you're gonna...
706
00:31:43,319 --> 00:31:44,737
- Right here.
- Right here.
707
00:31:44,821 --> 00:31:47,448
I feel better, actually. I like that.
708
00:31:49,075 --> 00:31:50,827
It's better with more people.
709
00:31:50,910 --> 00:31:51,911
Hey, guys...
710
00:31:51,995 --> 00:31:54,080
- Jesus Christ.
- Jesus!
711
00:31:54,163 --> 00:31:58,626
Sorry. Franco has this crazy open floor plan.
I can hear every word you guys are saying.
712
00:31:58,710 --> 00:32:01,045
I might as well hang with you guys
if that's cool.
713
00:32:01,129 --> 00:32:02,755
- Nice.
- Coming in hot.
714
00:32:02,839 --> 00:32:04,424
I gonna grab a blanket from you.
715
00:32:04,507 --> 00:32:05,842
Give me that blanket.
716
00:32:05,925 --> 00:32:07,677
- Get in the middle of it.
- That's good.
717
00:32:07,760 --> 00:32:10,013
- That's it.
- It feels so much more safe now, guys.
718
00:32:10,096 --> 00:32:11,222
It's nice here.
719
00:32:11,306 --> 00:32:12,682
- Should we spoon it?
- Yeah, you want to?
720
00:32:12,765 --> 00:32:13,891
- No!
- Want to go...
721
00:32:13,975 --> 00:32:14,976
- Dick to butt?
- No.
722
00:32:15,059 --> 00:32:18,021
- My butt to you and then Jay.
- I don't want to butt to dick to anything.
723
00:32:18,104 --> 00:32:19,355
Are you docking into me?
You're doing tip to me?
724
00:32:19,439 --> 00:32:21,608
- Or what are you doing?
- Should we go butt to butt or dick to...
725
00:32:21,691 --> 00:32:23,943
Seth and I are gonna go ass to ass.
Do you want to go front to front?
726
00:32:24,027 --> 00:32:27,280
- No, I'm fine just going dicks up.
- Dicks up?
727
00:32:27,363 --> 00:32:28,823
- I think I'm going dick to ass.
- You know what?
728
00:32:28,906 --> 00:32:30,950
I'm going Scarf ace-style.
729
00:32:31,034 --> 00:32:32,314
- Both of you guys.
- Wait, yeah.
730
00:32:32,368 --> 00:32:33,536
- There we go.
- Yeah.
731
00:32:33,620 --> 00:32:34,621
This is the best way.
732
00:32:34,704 --> 00:32:35,788
Good night, boys.
733
00:32:35,872 --> 00:32:38,249
- Good night.
- Good night.
734
00:32:38,333 --> 00:32:39,542
Good night, guys.
735
00:32:39,626 --> 00:32:41,377
- Night, my sweet guys.
- Good night.
736
00:32:41,461 --> 00:32:42,545
Sweet dreams, fellas.
737
00:33:08,738 --> 00:33:11,115
♪ Livin' on fat pockets
on flat wit tha gat
738
00:33:11,199 --> 00:33:13,660
♪ Rollin' around
a nine deuce Cadillac
739
00:33:13,743 --> 00:33:16,037
♪ Still got my homies
to watch my back
740
00:33:16,120 --> 00:33:18,498
♪ And they'll smoke ya ass
if you wanna come and chat
741
00:33:18,581 --> 00:33:21,417
♪ Why wallow when you come to roll on?
I put the clip
742
00:33:21,501 --> 00:33:23,544
♪ And before I bring ya ass on
743
00:33:23,628 --> 00:33:25,797
♪ Kickin' dust on your head
like I bust
744
00:33:27,882 --> 00:33:29,258
Fuck, yeah.
745
00:33:29,300 --> 00:33:32,095
♪ When tha shit goes down
ya better be ready
746
00:33:32,178 --> 00:33:33,471
I When tha shit goes down
747
00:33:33,554 --> 00:33:37,100
♪ When tha shit goes down
ya better be ready
748
00:33:37,183 --> 00:33:38,226
♪ When tha shit goes down
749
00:33:38,309 --> 00:33:41,604
♪ When tha shit goes down
ya better be ready
750
00:33:41,688 --> 00:33:43,481
I Ya better be ready
751
00:34:02,250 --> 00:34:04,627
Franco! Good morning, sunshine.
752
00:34:04,711 --> 00:34:05,962
Guys! Guys! Wake up!
753
00:34:06,045 --> 00:34:08,840
Danny's alive!
He's eating all the fucking food!
754
00:34:08,923 --> 00:34:10,883
- No!
- Danny, man, don't.
755
00:34:11,592 --> 00:34:12,802
Danny!
756
00:34:13,636 --> 00:34:15,930
No, it's cool, man.
I fucking made this for you guys.
757
00:34:16,013 --> 00:34:18,182
- Stop eating!
- Don't eat another piece of bacon.
758
00:34:18,266 --> 00:34:19,392
Guys, just chill the fuck out, okay?
759
00:34:19,475 --> 00:34:22,437
I'm sure the Green Goblin
can fucking afford some more bacon.
760
00:34:22,520 --> 00:34:24,814
Dude, that shit's supposed to last us
till we get rescued!
761
00:34:25,273 --> 00:34:28,317
Wait a second. I know what happened.
762
00:34:28,401 --> 00:34:30,987
You guys dropped acid, didn't you?
763
00:34:31,237 --> 00:34:33,317
Craig doesn't have any pants on.
He got fucking wild.
764
00:34:33,364 --> 00:34:35,783
Probably danced, sweated
all over the place.
765
00:34:35,867 --> 00:34:37,160
You got white shit
all over your mouth, Franco.
766
00:34:37,243 --> 00:34:38,536
You probably sucked somebody's dick.
767
00:34:38,619 --> 00:34:41,414
Jonah over here probably watched
and jerked off.
768
00:34:41,497 --> 00:34:43,624
Jay, I didn't even know you were in town.
Good to see you.
769
00:34:43,708 --> 00:34:46,085
Danny, we're not on acid.
We didn't suck each other's dicks!
770
00:34:46,169 --> 00:34:48,880
James Franco didn't suck
any dick last night?
771
00:34:48,963 --> 00:34:50,506
Now I know y'all are tripping.
772
00:34:50,590 --> 00:34:52,431
You actually not know
what happened last night?
773
00:34:52,508 --> 00:34:55,094
Daniel, you may want
to stay seated for a second.
774
00:34:55,178 --> 00:34:59,348
Some really messed-up stuff happened,
and there were a lot of fatalities.
775
00:34:59,432 --> 00:35:02,101
Really? You're putting your
serious voice on, Jonah?
776
00:35:02,185 --> 00:35:04,604
Okay, tell me about these "fatalities."
777
00:35:04,687 --> 00:35:07,774
Dude, Segel's dead, Krumholtz
is dead, Michael Cera's dead.
778
00:35:07,857 --> 00:35:11,527
Guess if Michael Cera's gone,
it's not a total loss?
779
00:35:11,611 --> 00:35:13,112
- Jesus, Danny.
- Michael Cera's dead.
780
00:35:13,196 --> 00:35:14,906
- What?
- It's not like that.
781
00:35:14,989 --> 00:35:16,699
- It's not funny, man.
- It's really not funny.
782
00:35:16,783 --> 00:35:19,452
Seth, that's a better performance
than you've given in your last six movies.
783
00:35:19,535 --> 00:35:21,245
Where the fuck was that
in Green Hornet?
784
00:35:21,329 --> 00:35:23,164
Jonah, you're fucking sucking balls.
785
00:35:23,247 --> 00:35:24,887
You're an Academy Award nominated person.
786
00:35:24,916 --> 00:35:27,293
You need to be fucking
selling that shit, dude.
787
00:35:27,376 --> 00:35:29,420
"Fatalities. There were some fatalities."
788
00:35:30,129 --> 00:35:31,172
Fatalities.
789
00:35:32,048 --> 00:35:33,716
Okay, now that was good. That was good.
790
00:35:33,800 --> 00:35:35,802
Does it seem like we're fucking joking?
791
00:35:35,885 --> 00:35:38,471
Hey, hey, hey!
What the fuck you eating, man?
792
00:35:38,554 --> 00:35:41,349
Spit it out your mouth. Give me the bacon!
793
00:35:47,814 --> 00:35:49,023
Shit.
794
00:35:49,899 --> 00:35:51,192
Shit, what do we do?
795
00:35:51,275 --> 00:35:53,110
Shoot 'em! Shoot 'em! Shoot 'em!
796
00:35:58,074 --> 00:35:59,158
Should I shoot?
797
00:35:59,242 --> 00:36:01,285
- Shut up, Franco!
- Shoot the door, Franco!
798
00:36:01,953 --> 00:36:02,995
Oh, God!
799
00:36:03,079 --> 00:36:05,679
Did you not hear me knocking out here?
I've been knocking forever.
800
00:36:05,748 --> 00:36:07,625
Please! Please! You've got to let me in!
801
00:36:08,668 --> 00:36:10,837
- Hang on a second.
- What?
802
00:36:10,920 --> 00:36:15,925
Guys, I know it sounds really weird,
but I don't think we should let him in.
803
00:36:16,217 --> 00:36:17,176
Why not?
804
00:36:17,260 --> 00:36:18,970
Yeah, why not? I can hear you, by the way.
805
00:36:19,053 --> 00:36:20,680
I'm sorry. We just don't know you, man.
806
00:36:20,763 --> 00:36:24,183
You could be like, a looter,
or a rapist, or a tittie-fucker.
807
00:36:24,267 --> 00:36:25,601
Like, I'm sorry.
808
00:36:25,685 --> 00:36:28,521
Look, guys, we just boarded up
this whole house to keep everyone out,
809
00:36:28,604 --> 00:36:31,148
and the first guy comes to the door,
we're gonna let him in?
810
00:36:31,232 --> 00:36:32,775
I mean, how do we know
we can trust this guy?
811
00:36:32,859 --> 00:36:35,611
I want to live!
Things have gone crazy out here!
812
00:36:36,404 --> 00:36:38,906
"Fucking crazy out here!"
This guy fucking sucks.
813
00:36:38,990 --> 00:36:41,242
- What if he's the rapist?
- Man, even if he is a rapist,
814
00:36:41,325 --> 00:36:43,119
- he can't rape all of us.
- Yeah! No! So I'm not...
815
00:36:43,202 --> 00:36:44,787
- I'm not a rapist!
- You want to tittie-fuck us?
816
00:36:44,871 --> 00:36:47,623
If you want me to tittie-fuck you, I will!
So good! You'll love it.
817
00:36:47,707 --> 00:36:49,000
Seth, back me up, please.
818
00:36:49,083 --> 00:36:51,419
We can't just leave him out there to die.
Are you crazy?
819
00:36:51,502 --> 00:36:53,462
What do you want to do?
I'll do whatever you want to do.
820
00:36:53,546 --> 00:36:54,630
Let's vote on it.
821
00:36:54,714 --> 00:36:56,507
Yeah, I fucking vote you let me in.
822
00:36:56,591 --> 00:36:59,594
Here's my vote. Fuck all of you.
I'm letting him in. This is boring.
823
00:37:00,469 --> 00:37:01,550
There's something out here!
824
00:37:07,643 --> 00:37:09,729
This is real! This is fucking real!
825
00:37:10,396 --> 00:37:11,564
God damn it!
826
00:37:25,411 --> 00:37:26,829
You guys!
827
00:37:26,913 --> 00:37:29,916
This man was alive a few seconds ago.
We can't play soccer with his head!
828
00:37:29,999 --> 00:37:31,375
Pick it up, Jonah!
829
00:37:33,002 --> 00:37:34,420
What the fuck is going on?
830
00:37:34,503 --> 00:37:36,088
He blinked at me.
831
00:37:36,172 --> 00:37:38,341
- He blinked at my face.
- Seth, put it over there.
832
00:37:39,675 --> 00:37:40,885
Oh, my God!
833
00:37:40,968 --> 00:37:42,219
I got it. I got it, guys.
834
00:37:42,303 --> 00:37:44,680
There's blood all over my floor!
835
00:37:44,764 --> 00:37:46,098
Time to relax for a second.
836
00:37:46,182 --> 00:37:48,976
Okay, someone should look out the hole.
837
00:37:49,060 --> 00:37:50,102
I ain't looking out that hole!
838
00:37:50,186 --> 00:37:52,229
Last person looked through that hole
got his head chopped off!
839
00:37:52,313 --> 00:37:56,525
Wait, wait, wait, wait. Whatever is
out there might still be out there.
840
00:37:58,527 --> 00:38:00,738
Okay, I know, I know.
Come on. Come on. Come on.
841
00:38:01,822 --> 00:38:05,034
Oh, God. Oh, God. Oh, God.
842
00:38:06,661 --> 00:38:08,371
There's a lookout!
843
00:38:14,210 --> 00:38:16,337
Jesus Christ! Look, there's
a huge fucking hole down there!
844
00:38:16,420 --> 00:38:18,214
What the fuck is this?
845
00:38:18,881 --> 00:38:21,467
- Where's the thing that killed the guy?
- I don't know.
846
00:38:21,550 --> 00:38:24,053
- How'd his head fall off?
- And where's the rest of him?
847
00:38:30,601 --> 00:38:31,894
Hi.
848
00:38:31,978 --> 00:38:33,646
This is James Franco,
849
00:38:35,356 --> 00:38:37,858
in my house, in my library.
850
00:38:37,942 --> 00:38:41,362
We've been stuck here for about 24 hours.
851
00:38:41,445 --> 00:38:43,823
Danny McBride is here.
852
00:38:43,906 --> 00:38:45,386
I didn't even invite him to my party,
853
00:38:45,408 --> 00:38:47,994
but he came and passed out in the bathtub,
854
00:38:48,077 --> 00:38:51,163
and I got to say
it's, like, typical fucking McBride.
855
00:38:51,247 --> 00:38:55,376
Like, I've been feeling really weird
about him lately.
856
00:38:55,459 --> 00:38:58,421
Like, I don't really know
if I want to be friends with him,
857
00:38:58,504 --> 00:39:02,341
and then he fucking showed up at my party,
858
00:39:02,425 --> 00:39:07,054
and now, we're stuck here with him
in disaster lockdown, so...
859
00:39:10,266 --> 00:39:13,060
- What up? What's going on?
- Hey, Danny. What's up, man?
860
00:39:13,144 --> 00:39:15,646
Not much. What are you doing? What is this?
861
00:39:15,730 --> 00:39:18,190
It's just a video confessional.
862
00:39:24,780 --> 00:39:26,282
Fuck that dude.
863
00:39:27,033 --> 00:39:28,784
- Earthquakes cause tsunamis.
- Yes.
864
00:39:28,868 --> 00:39:31,287
Tsunamis cause other tsunamis, disaster.
865
00:39:31,370 --> 00:39:33,372
I mean, for all we know,
the fucking Lakers could have just won,
866
00:39:33,456 --> 00:39:34,832
and that's the reason
why all this is happening.
867
00:39:34,915 --> 00:39:36,876
Hole in Franco's front yard? Sinkhole.
868
00:39:36,959 --> 00:39:40,337
Every single time I turn on the news,
sinkhole in South America.
869
00:39:40,421 --> 00:39:42,048
Bunch of South Americans
getting sucked into the ground.
870
00:39:42,131 --> 00:39:43,549
- Sinkhole de Mayo.
- Sinkhole de Mayo.
871
00:39:43,632 --> 00:39:44,713
That's why it's named that,
872
00:39:44,759 --> 00:39:46,343
because sinkholes happen
in the summertime.
873
00:39:46,427 --> 00:39:50,431
It's not wildfires. It's not earthquakes.
It's not sinkholes.
874
00:39:50,514 --> 00:39:52,725
- I think I know what it is.
- Let's hear it.
875
00:39:53,642 --> 00:39:55,936
I think it's the Apocalypse.
876
00:39:56,228 --> 00:39:57,480
What?
877
00:39:59,065 --> 00:40:03,360
I'm serious, boys. It's all in
here, in the Book of Revelations.
878
00:40:03,444 --> 00:40:05,488
- You took my Bible?
- Well, just hear me out,
879
00:40:05,571 --> 00:40:09,658
and you tell me that what I'm describing
isn't what's going on right now.
880
00:40:10,034 --> 00:40:13,412
"And the skies shall open up, and the
light of the Lord shall shine down,"
881
00:40:13,496 --> 00:40:16,248
"and those of good heart shall be brought
into my kingdom of heaven."
882
00:40:16,332 --> 00:40:20,711
That's the Rapture,
those are the gigantic beams of blue light.
883
00:40:20,795 --> 00:40:23,130
"And there will be a great
mountain burning in fire."
884
00:40:23,214 --> 00:40:26,634
I mean, the Hollywood Hills
are literally engulfed in flames
885
00:40:26,717 --> 00:40:28,135
as we sit here right now.
886
00:40:28,219 --> 00:40:30,763
The Hollywood Hills ain't no mountain.
It's a hill.
887
00:40:30,846 --> 00:40:33,265
Takes about 10 minutes to get across
that motherfucker with no traffic.
888
00:40:33,349 --> 00:40:34,558
- Coldwater.
- I take Laurel Canyon.
889
00:40:34,642 --> 00:40:35,601
- Cahuenga.
- Cahuenga.
890
00:40:35,684 --> 00:40:37,561
- I usually zip down Barham.
- Boys, can I just fucking finish?
891
00:40:37,645 --> 00:40:38,938
I love Laurel Canyon.
892
00:40:39,021 --> 00:40:42,858
"And out of the pit rose a great
red dragon having seven heads,"
893
00:40:42,942 --> 00:40:45,694
"that old serpent called
the devil and Satan,"
894
00:40:45,778 --> 00:40:51,283
"which deceiveth the whole world,
was released onto the earth."
895
00:40:52,159 --> 00:40:54,578
I love that dude.
He's from Where the Wild Things Are.
896
00:40:54,662 --> 00:40:56,789
- It's a load of bullshit.
- It's not bullshit.
897
00:40:56,872 --> 00:40:58,193
Want to know something else, Jay?
898
00:40:58,249 --> 00:41:01,001
If this is the end of the world,
and all the good people died,
899
00:41:01,085 --> 00:41:05,297
what you're saying is
Seth, me, Jonah, Craig and Danny
900
00:41:05,381 --> 00:41:06,382
are a bunch of assholes.
901
00:41:06,465 --> 00:41:08,634
I'm straight-up lovable, son.
902
00:41:08,717 --> 00:41:12,471
And if this really is the Apocalypse,
903
00:41:12,555 --> 00:41:13,597
you're here too.
904
00:41:14,223 --> 00:41:17,560
So, that means you're just
as shitty as the rest of us.
905
00:41:18,435 --> 00:41:19,770
Doesn't feel too good, does it?
906
00:41:30,239 --> 00:41:32,825
Hey, guys. I'm going to sleep now.
907
00:41:32,908 --> 00:41:34,285
Nobody come in here and bother me.
908
00:41:34,910 --> 00:41:35,911
Go fish.
909
00:41:35,995 --> 00:41:37,663
Put it back inside of here.
910
00:41:37,746 --> 00:41:39,665
- Do you know what it is?
- Yeah.
911
00:41:39,748 --> 00:41:41,959
Now you ask me
for something that you need.
912
00:41:42,042 --> 00:41:43,460
First bit.
913
00:41:43,544 --> 00:41:44,837
You're not cutting it all?
914
00:41:44,920 --> 00:41:47,631
That's smart. You're divvying it up first.
915
00:41:47,923 --> 00:41:49,758
- This is like, Fruyére or some shit.
- That's me.
916
00:41:49,842 --> 00:41:50,843
Come on, Danny!
917
00:41:50,926 --> 00:41:52,527
- You licked your finger.
- Come on, man.
918
00:41:53,220 --> 00:41:54,513
If they're all equal, what does it matter?
919
00:41:54,597 --> 00:41:55,973
Keep your hands and fingers off.
920
00:41:56,056 --> 00:41:57,016
- Seth?
- Yeah.
921
00:41:57,099 --> 00:41:58,809
- Can I talk to you for a second?
- Yeah, yeah.
922
00:41:58,893 --> 00:42:00,269
Yeah, no shit.
923
00:42:02,980 --> 00:42:05,149
Here. Off the menu, my man.
924
00:42:06,442 --> 00:42:08,527
Holy shit, man. Where did you get these?
925
00:42:08,611 --> 00:42:12,114
Hey, what's cheese without a few crackers?
Know what I'm saying?
926
00:42:12,198 --> 00:42:14,074
- Hide it.
- Okay.
927
00:42:16,285 --> 00:42:18,871
- 'Cause we're a team.
- Okay.
928
00:42:18,954 --> 00:42:20,831
Freaks forever, brother.
929
00:42:22,166 --> 00:42:24,126
Let's do all the drugs.
930
00:42:24,210 --> 00:42:26,045
I don't really want to.
931
00:42:26,128 --> 00:42:29,465
Should have thought of that
before you drank a can full of ecstasy.
932
00:42:29,548 --> 00:42:30,633
What?
933
00:42:32,801 --> 00:42:34,136
♪ Gangnam style
934
00:42:35,596 --> 00:42:39,183
♪ Op, op, op, op, oppan
Gangnam style
935
00:42:41,769 --> 00:42:42,728
♪ Gangnam style
936
00:42:42,811 --> 00:42:46,440
♪ Op, op, op, op, oppan
Gangnam style
937
00:42:48,359 --> 00:42:51,737
♪ Sexy lady
938
00:42:56,033 --> 00:42:57,159
♪ Oppan Gangnam style
939
00:43:05,668 --> 00:43:08,420
♪ I fly like paper,
get high like planes
940
00:43:08,504 --> 00:43:10,965
♪ If you catch me at the
border I got visas in my name
941
00:43:11,048 --> 00:43:14,176
♪ If you come around here,
I make 'em all day
942
00:43:14,260 --> 00:43:16,470
♪ I get one down
in a second if you wait...
943
00:43:18,013 --> 00:43:20,266
Should we call Red? Get more weed?
944
00:43:20,349 --> 00:43:23,102
I don't know, man. That guy's gone crazy.
945
00:43:23,185 --> 00:43:27,439
Good thing I have a lot
of fucking weed for you guys.
946
00:43:27,523 --> 00:43:29,775
I hooked you guys UP-
947
00:43:29,858 --> 00:43:33,737
Now I need you guys
to assassinate Woody Harrelson.
948
00:43:33,946 --> 00:43:36,448
If pot's legalized, my
business will suffer.
949
00:43:36,532 --> 00:43:38,826
And if my business suffers, I suffer.
950
00:43:38,909 --> 00:43:39,994
So much suffering.
951
00:43:40,077 --> 00:43:42,913
All 'cause of that inbred hemp seed,
Woody Harrelson.
952
00:43:42,997 --> 00:43:44,832
I have to do what's right.
953
00:43:44,915 --> 00:43:47,376
Weed is for the people.
It's the people's weed.
954
00:43:47,793 --> 00:43:49,628
- If you don't assassinate him...
- We already quit.
955
00:43:49,712 --> 00:43:52,256
I'm gonna assassinate both of you.
956
00:43:53,215 --> 00:43:54,675
- Run!
- Go!
957
00:43:57,136 --> 00:43:58,470
♪ And take your money
958
00:43:58,554 --> 00:44:00,931
♪ All I wanna do is...
959
00:44:01,015 --> 00:44:03,892
B.F.F.F.F.F.F.F.F.F.F. forever.
960
00:44:03,976 --> 00:44:05,227
B.F.F.F.F.F.F.F.F.F.F.
961
00:44:11,150 --> 00:44:12,526
- Look out!
- Shit!
962
00:44:13,485 --> 00:44:15,612
You're letting them get away!
963
00:44:20,409 --> 00:44:22,786
I smoked weed with Steve Jobs,
964
00:44:22,870 --> 00:44:25,122
and that's when he came up with the iPad.
965
00:44:25,706 --> 00:44:27,416
It's pretty great.
966
00:44:27,499 --> 00:44:29,259
We should make sequels
to more of our movies.
967
00:44:29,293 --> 00:44:30,336
Yeah!
968
00:44:30,419 --> 00:44:32,004
How 'bout we not do Your Highness 2?
969
00:44:32,087 --> 00:44:33,589
- Yeah.
- Do 128 Hours.
970
00:44:33,672 --> 00:44:36,592
- The beginning of the rest of your comedies.
- Looks good.
971
00:44:39,845 --> 00:44:41,263
Oh, my God!
972
00:44:48,771 --> 00:44:50,022
- Emma!
- It's Emma.
973
00:44:50,105 --> 00:44:52,649
Oh, my God, you guys are alive.
974
00:44:52,733 --> 00:44:54,985
You're actually alive. Thank God!
975
00:44:55,069 --> 00:44:57,821
I hid in a drainpipe for days.
976
00:44:57,905 --> 00:45:00,783
Like, three or four.
I don't even know how many.
977
00:45:00,866 --> 00:45:04,119
And then I stopped hearing people,
and I started hearing growling noises.
978
00:45:04,203 --> 00:45:07,581
Out there, in your travels,
979
00:45:07,664 --> 00:45:08,957
did you see anything
that you would describe
980
00:45:09,041 --> 00:45:10,542
as Apocalyptish?
981
00:45:10,626 --> 00:45:12,378
I mean, no,
982
00:45:12,461 --> 00:45:17,257
but I would say it's completely obvious
what's going on here.
983
00:45:17,341 --> 00:45:19,885
I mean, it's a zombie invasion.
984
00:45:19,968 --> 00:45:21,637
- Fuck!
- I'm the one who said it's been zombies.
985
00:45:21,720 --> 00:45:23,472
- You said zombies?
- I said zombies the whole time.
986
00:45:23,555 --> 00:45:25,808
- You said zombies?
- I don't think... You never said zombies.
987
00:45:25,891 --> 00:45:27,935
Wait a second.
You guys haven't been proven right.
988
00:45:28,018 --> 00:45:29,228
These are still just theories.
989
00:45:29,311 --> 00:45:31,897
Honestly, I'm just so relieved
that you guys are here,
990
00:45:31,980 --> 00:45:34,983
and I'm very happy
about the idea of sleeping and just...
991
00:45:35,067 --> 00:45:36,068
- You tired?
- Yeah.
992
00:45:36,151 --> 00:45:38,904
If you want to take a little rest,
993
00:45:38,987 --> 00:45:40,989
you're welcome to do that upstairs.
994
00:45:41,073 --> 00:45:42,366
- Thank you.
- Cool.
995
00:45:42,449 --> 00:45:43,992
- I'll show you the way.
- Thank you.
996
00:45:44,076 --> 00:45:45,994
Thanks, guys.
Seriously, you're awesome, really.
997
00:45:46,078 --> 00:45:47,621
You're awesome.
998
00:45:48,288 --> 00:45:49,498
So fucking tight.
999
00:45:49,581 --> 00:45:51,834
We'll be right out here, okay?
1000
00:45:53,335 --> 00:45:54,420
Fuck are you guys doing out here?
1001
00:45:54,503 --> 00:45:56,713
Here's what I think we should do.
She's British, right?
1002
00:45:56,797 --> 00:45:58,507
She's used to eating shitty food anyway.
1003
00:45:58,590 --> 00:46:00,467
Let's just give her all the shitty food
that we don't want.
1004
00:46:00,551 --> 00:46:02,112
That's fucked up. Look how tiny she is.
1005
00:46:02,177 --> 00:46:04,096
She's not even a full seven.
She's, like, half a seven.
1006
00:46:04,179 --> 00:46:05,431
This is a fucking cool thing, man.
1007
00:46:05,514 --> 00:46:08,767
I, for one, am very excited.
I'm a massive Harry Potter fan.
1008
00:46:08,851 --> 00:46:10,936
- What?
- Yes. I love fucking Harry Potter.
1009
00:46:11,019 --> 00:46:14,189
I cannot wait till she wakes up and I can
ask her all these amazing questions about
1010
00:46:14,273 --> 00:46:15,482
how they made those motion pictures.
1011
00:46:15,566 --> 00:46:16,608
Take it easy, Dumbledore.
1012
00:46:16,692 --> 00:46:21,363
Guys, listen, listen. I think we need
to address the elephant in the room.
1013
00:46:21,447 --> 00:46:23,198
Jay, don't talk about Craig like that.
1014
00:46:23,282 --> 00:46:24,825
- That's fucked up. I'm right here, man.
- Yeah.
1015
00:46:24,908 --> 00:46:27,035
I'm not calling Craig an elephant.
1016
00:46:27,119 --> 00:46:29,121
- That's fucking weird.
- What does that even mean?
1017
00:46:29,204 --> 00:46:30,456
- Yeah, no.
- That's racist.
1018
00:46:30,539 --> 00:46:31,623
I wasn't referring to him.
1019
00:46:31,707 --> 00:46:35,127
I was referring to the issue
that's on all of our minds.
1020
00:46:35,210 --> 00:46:36,462
What?
1021
00:46:36,545 --> 00:46:39,882
This is one girl in a house with six males.
1022
00:46:39,965 --> 00:46:41,133
Yeah. Really safe.
1023
00:46:41,216 --> 00:46:42,301
Ideal scenario.
1024
00:46:42,384 --> 00:46:43,469
She's like a little sister.
1025
00:46:43,552 --> 00:46:45,012
I think that she needs...
1026
00:46:45,095 --> 00:46:46,805
It's important that she feels safe.
1027
00:46:46,889 --> 00:46:48,348
- Yeah.
- And comfortable.
1028
00:46:48,432 --> 00:46:49,808
And we should be mindful.
1029
00:46:49,892 --> 00:46:51,185
Who's making her not feel safe?
1030
00:46:51,268 --> 00:46:52,728
Well, I'm just saying, we should...
1031
00:46:52,811 --> 00:46:55,147
We don't want to give off a bad vibe.
1032
00:46:55,230 --> 00:46:56,831
- Vibe?
- Vibes? I ain't giving no vibes.
1033
00:46:56,857 --> 00:46:58,484
Yeah, wait, what kind of vibes
are you talking about, man?
1034
00:46:58,567 --> 00:47:00,444
He's talking about us
giving off a rapey vibe.
1035
00:47:00,527 --> 00:47:02,154
- Hey!
- What?
1036
00:47:02,237 --> 00:47:04,031
- Jesus.
- Jay, what the fuck, man?
1037
00:47:04,114 --> 00:47:05,282
Chill out, dude.
1038
00:47:05,365 --> 00:47:07,242
- Why you putting that shit in the mix?
- Yeah.
1039
00:47:07,326 --> 00:47:09,077
- He fucking said it.
- You're the one saying it.
1040
00:47:09,161 --> 00:47:10,537
No one here is thinking
about raping anyone.
1041
00:47:10,621 --> 00:47:12,289
Well, you talking about vibes
1042
00:47:12,372 --> 00:47:15,209
is the only thing that's rapey
going on right now.
1043
00:47:15,292 --> 00:47:17,211
Dude, nothing was rapey till
you brought up the rapey vibes.
1044
00:47:17,294 --> 00:47:19,296
- Fucking one who smelt it dealt it, dawg.
- True that, dude.
1045
00:47:19,379 --> 00:47:20,756
One who denies it supplies it.
1046
00:47:20,839 --> 00:47:22,841
I know, it's farts, I get it.
1047
00:47:22,925 --> 00:47:24,092
Guys, guys, guys...
1048
00:47:24,176 --> 00:47:25,761
Jay's not rapey.
1049
00:47:26,220 --> 00:47:27,262
Jay couldn't rape a fly.
1050
00:47:27,346 --> 00:47:29,097
He probably could.
1051
00:47:29,181 --> 00:47:31,058
Maybe we should just stop this
entire conversation right now.
1052
00:47:31,141 --> 00:47:34,228
If anyone's gonna rape anyone here,
it's probably gonna be Danny.
1053
00:47:34,311 --> 00:47:35,729
- What the fuck, Franco?
- What?
1054
00:47:35,812 --> 00:47:37,189
Why do you think I'm gonna rape somebody?
1055
00:47:37,272 --> 00:47:39,149
I'm just trying to lay it out there.
1056
00:47:39,233 --> 00:47:40,609
I'm not gonna rape anyone, all right?
1057
00:47:40,692 --> 00:47:41,902
If anyone's gonna rape somebody, it's Jay.
1058
00:47:41,985 --> 00:47:43,612
- What?
- He came up with the rape idea.
1059
00:47:43,695 --> 00:47:44,863
And his face looks like the police sketch
1060
00:47:44,947 --> 00:47:46,107
- of a fucking rapist.
- True.
1061
00:47:46,156 --> 00:47:47,366
What the fuck does that mean?
1062
00:47:47,449 --> 00:47:50,289
If anybody's raping Emma Watson,
it's fucking Sir Rapes-a-Lot over here.
1063
00:47:50,369 --> 00:47:51,453
- Chill out.
- Hey!
1064
00:47:52,871 --> 00:47:53,872
Easy. Easy.
1065
00:47:53,956 --> 00:47:55,040
Back the fuck up!
1066
00:47:55,123 --> 00:47:56,416
- Emma.
- What's wrong?
1067
00:47:56,500 --> 00:47:57,543
- Wait, what's wrong?
- What's wrong?
1068
00:47:57,626 --> 00:48:00,337
I just heard you guys talking about
which one of you is gonna get to rape me.
1069
00:48:00,420 --> 00:48:01,797
No, no, no, no!
1070
00:48:01,880 --> 00:48:03,340
Guys, I got it. I got it.
1071
00:48:03,423 --> 00:48:05,676
No. It's funny. It's funny.
1072
00:48:05,759 --> 00:48:07,719
We were specifically talking
about not raping you.
1073
00:48:08,971 --> 00:48:10,097
- Jesus!
- Holy shit!
1074
00:48:10,180 --> 00:48:11,932
Back up!
1075
00:48:12,474 --> 00:48:13,976
It's me, Jonah!
1076
00:48:14,059 --> 00:48:15,519
It's me, Jonah Hill.
1077
00:48:15,602 --> 00:48:18,188
America's sweetheart. J-bug, J-bone.
1078
00:48:18,272 --> 00:48:20,232
- Your friend. I would never hurt you.
- Get back!
1079
00:48:21,733 --> 00:48:23,735
Give me everything you have to drink!
Put it in the bag!
1080
00:48:23,819 --> 00:48:25,612
There's six of us. You cannot rob us!
1081
00:48:25,696 --> 00:48:26,905
I'm not fucking around!
1082
00:48:28,198 --> 00:48:29,700
Give her drinks! Give her drinks!
1083
00:48:29,783 --> 00:48:31,118
Put the drinks in a bag!
1084
00:48:31,201 --> 00:48:33,287
- Oh, God.
- Get all the drinks in a bag!
1085
00:48:33,370 --> 00:48:34,663
Hurry the fuck up!
1086
00:48:34,746 --> 00:48:35,956
Okay, they're getting the drinks.
1087
00:48:36,039 --> 00:48:38,083
- Put the ax down.
- Don't give the Milky Way away.
1088
00:48:38,166 --> 00:48:40,085
All right, you can put the ax down now.
1089
00:48:40,168 --> 00:48:41,289
Now, Franco! Shoot her face!
1090
00:48:41,336 --> 00:48:42,421
Shoot her!
1091
00:48:42,504 --> 00:48:44,089
I'm not gonna shoot Emma Watson!
1092
00:48:44,172 --> 00:48:45,799
Look, Emma, just stay here with us.
1093
00:48:45,882 --> 00:48:47,509
It's a lot safer than out there.
1094
00:48:53,640 --> 00:48:56,101
Hermione just stole all of our shit.
1095
00:48:56,184 --> 00:48:59,896
Little bitty-ass 20-year-old jacked us.
1096
00:48:59,980 --> 00:49:03,275
And then Jay suggested that we all
rape her, and now she's gone.
1097
00:49:03,358 --> 00:49:05,694
I didn't... I was just... I...
1098
00:49:05,777 --> 00:49:08,864
I think the only reason why
he did that is because Jay knows
1099
00:49:08,947 --> 00:49:12,034
he's about fucking two minutes away
from becoming the house bitch himself.
1100
00:49:12,117 --> 00:49:16,038
So now, motherfuckers is thirsty.
1101
00:49:16,413 --> 00:49:18,123
All right, guys-
1102
00:49:18,206 --> 00:49:21,460
The door to the basement's out there,
around the side of the house.
1103
00:49:21,543 --> 00:49:24,838
I know for sure there's at least
two jugs of water.
1104
00:49:24,921 --> 00:49:26,381
Okay.
1105
00:49:28,342 --> 00:49:29,635
Any volunteers?
1106
00:49:29,718 --> 00:49:31,519
Does anyone want to volunteer
and go with Jay?
1107
00:49:31,595 --> 00:49:32,638
What?
1108
00:49:32,721 --> 00:49:34,640
I thought you said, "Someone volunteer
to go with me out there."
1109
00:49:34,723 --> 00:49:35,766
I must have misheard you.
1110
00:49:35,849 --> 00:49:37,768
- I'm sorry.
- You did not, you motherfucker.
1111
00:49:37,851 --> 00:49:39,227
Hey, okay, ease up.
1112
00:49:39,311 --> 00:49:41,897
Just chill out, dude. Just relax, man. God.
1113
00:49:41,980 --> 00:49:43,815
So how we gonna decide this, fellas?
1114
00:49:43,899 --> 00:49:46,276
All right, guys, it's simple.
1115
00:49:46,360 --> 00:49:49,780
Whoever pulls the burnt match
has to go get the water.
1116
00:49:57,996 --> 00:50:00,916
Who wants to go first?
1117
00:50:01,958 --> 00:50:03,210
I'll do it.
1118
00:50:03,293 --> 00:50:04,419
Craig.
1119
00:50:04,503 --> 00:50:06,088
All right.
1120
00:50:07,089 --> 00:50:08,507
Go ahead, brother.
1121
00:50:15,347 --> 00:50:16,765
No whammies, no whammies.
1122
00:50:16,848 --> 00:50:19,601
- Hey, hey.
- Yes! Yeah!
1123
00:50:19,685 --> 00:50:21,561
- Fuck, yes!
- Yes!
1124
00:50:21,645 --> 00:50:23,772
Fuck, yes. Fuck, yes.
1125
00:50:23,855 --> 00:50:25,899
- So sorry, Craig.
- A lot of guys in here
1126
00:50:25,982 --> 00:50:27,343
that I wish it was instead of you.
1127
00:50:28,735 --> 00:50:30,487
You want to go best two out of three?
1128
00:50:30,570 --> 00:50:34,074
If I tug, if I pull in anyway,
or if you hear me screaming,
1129
00:50:34,157 --> 00:50:36,576
anything, you pull me
right back in, all right?
1130
00:50:36,660 --> 00:50:38,501
Yeah. We'll try, man, but
you're pretty heavy.
1131
00:50:39,121 --> 00:50:40,288
What?
1132
00:50:40,372 --> 00:50:43,125
No, I mean, I'm saying,
I just don't think it's smart
1133
00:50:43,208 --> 00:50:44,648
- to make any guarantees.
- Fuck, no.
1134
00:50:44,710 --> 00:50:46,420
- You promise to pull me back in.
- No, no, we're...
1135
00:50:46,503 --> 00:50:47,587
- You got me?
- Yeah, yeah, yeah.
1136
00:50:47,671 --> 00:50:49,047
- We're gonna do our best.
- All right.
1137
00:50:49,131 --> 00:50:50,716
- You want to do a test run?
- Yeah.
1138
00:50:50,799 --> 00:50:52,439
You gotta scream. Let us hear the scream.
1139
00:50:52,592 --> 00:50:54,094
Pull.
1140
00:50:54,177 --> 00:50:55,595
Nice. Very nice.
1141
00:50:55,679 --> 00:50:56,805
Everyone thank Craig for doing this.
1142
00:50:56,888 --> 00:50:58,640
- Thanks, Craig.
- Thank you, Craig.
1143
00:50:58,724 --> 00:50:59,725
Go for it, Craig.
1144
00:50:59,808 --> 00:51:01,810
Getting smoky in here. Go, go, go, go.
1145
00:51:05,439 --> 00:51:07,149
This is fucked up.
1146
00:51:17,826 --> 00:51:19,661
Goddamn.
1147
00:51:19,745 --> 00:51:21,747
Smoky as fuck out here.
1148
00:51:40,682 --> 00:51:41,725
Rope burn!
1149
00:51:41,808 --> 00:51:43,477
Grab it, grab it, grab it!
1150
00:51:43,560 --> 00:51:44,811
Oh, no, no, no, no!
1151
00:51:44,895 --> 00:51:45,937
- Shit.
- Oh, no.
1152
00:51:46,021 --> 00:51:48,023
Shit. Shit.
1153
00:51:56,740 --> 00:51:57,991
Come on, motherfucker. Shit!
1154
00:52:01,077 --> 00:52:02,579
Fuck this shit.
1155
00:52:08,502 --> 00:52:11,338
Fellas, fellas! Pull me in! Pull the rope!
1156
00:52:11,421 --> 00:52:13,006
- Pull me in!
- We don't have the rope anymore!
1157
00:52:13,089 --> 00:52:14,382
We fucking dropped it! We're sorry!
1158
00:52:14,466 --> 00:52:15,634
You've got the rope, man!
1159
00:52:15,717 --> 00:52:17,052
What?
1160
00:52:22,599 --> 00:52:24,267
- Craig!
- What the fuck do we do?
1161
00:52:24,351 --> 00:52:26,102
Craig! Craig!
1162
00:52:27,896 --> 00:52:28,897
Are you okay?
1163
00:52:28,980 --> 00:52:29,981
What happened, man?
1164
00:52:30,065 --> 00:52:31,745
I don't know! There's something out there.
1165
00:52:35,445 --> 00:52:36,613
Oh, shit!
1166
00:52:39,741 --> 00:52:41,785
A knife! Somebody throw me a knife!
1167
00:52:41,868 --> 00:52:43,161
I'll get it.
1168
00:52:46,832 --> 00:52:49,084
- Why?
- OMG.
1169
00:52:49,167 --> 00:52:50,669
Jay, I'm so sorry, bro.
1170
00:52:50,752 --> 00:52:51,753
The fuck?
1171
00:52:53,588 --> 00:52:55,149
Cut it! Cut it! Cut it! Cut it! Cut it!
1172
00:52:56,424 --> 00:52:58,969
God! What the fuck was that?
1173
00:52:59,052 --> 00:53:01,388
I don't know what the fuck that was,
but I ain't going back out there.
1174
00:53:01,471 --> 00:53:02,556
Craig, you didn't even
get any of the water.
1175
00:53:02,639 --> 00:53:03,640
The door was fucked up.
1176
00:53:03,723 --> 00:53:05,892
Damn it, this is so frustrating!
1177
00:53:05,976 --> 00:53:08,228
It's so close, but so far.
1178
00:53:08,311 --> 00:53:11,398
The water, it's, like, right underneath us.
1179
00:53:11,481 --> 00:53:13,108
Like, right there.
1180
00:53:13,191 --> 00:53:15,944
What do you mean "right underneath us"?
1181
00:53:16,027 --> 00:53:19,322
Like, literally, like, right there.
1182
00:53:19,406 --> 00:53:21,032
If you went right through the floor.
1183
00:53:33,253 --> 00:53:34,671
Yo.
1184
00:53:34,754 --> 00:53:39,175
Danny and Jonah's shift ends in ten
minutes, so our break is almost over.
1185
00:53:39,759 --> 00:53:41,177
Okay.
1186
00:53:41,386 --> 00:53:42,637
Let me ask you something.
1187
00:53:44,180 --> 00:53:46,641
You really think this is
1188
00:53:46,725 --> 00:53:48,184
the Apocalypse?
1189
00:53:48,268 --> 00:53:50,770
You saw something out there, didn't you?
1190
00:53:50,854 --> 00:53:56,276
All right, let's just say
for sake of argument, what if I did?
1191
00:53:56,359 --> 00:53:58,486
What if this is the real shit,
right now, happening?
1192
00:53:59,487 --> 00:54:01,990
What if it is, man?
We're not prepared for this.
1193
00:54:02,073 --> 00:54:03,992
- What do we do? What's next?
- It says in the Bible,
1194
00:54:04,075 --> 00:54:05,994
"The worthy will ascend to Heaven."
1195
00:54:06,077 --> 00:54:11,291
Even if it is
the Apocalypse, it's not the end of us.
1196
00:54:11,374 --> 00:54:12,918
There's still hope.
1197
00:54:13,001 --> 00:54:16,254
We just have to somehow
try to prove our worthiness.
1198
00:54:16,338 --> 00:54:18,590
Okay, so, you mean, like,
1199
00:54:18,673 --> 00:54:22,135
like the Ten Commandments,
like, do shit unto people
1200
00:54:22,218 --> 00:54:23,498
that'll do the same shit to you.
1201
00:54:23,511 --> 00:54:25,221
That's a great place to start.
1202
00:54:25,305 --> 00:54:26,723
You know, to just overall love.
1203
00:54:26,806 --> 00:54:29,893
Just be nicer
and follow those commandments.
1204
00:54:29,976 --> 00:54:33,647
Listen. We're gonna get through this.
We're gonna get through this, man.
1205
00:54:33,730 --> 00:54:36,399
You know why?
'Cause we're gonna do it together.
1206
00:54:36,483 --> 00:54:37,692
You promise?
1207
00:54:37,776 --> 00:54:39,027
We're gonna do this.
1208
00:54:40,737 --> 00:54:42,781
I hear everything.
1209
00:54:52,916 --> 00:54:54,834
Who did this?
1210
00:54:54,918 --> 00:54:56,294
Who did this?
1211
00:54:56,378 --> 00:54:58,588
Did what? What are you talking about?
1212
00:54:58,672 --> 00:55:01,299
Jizzed all over the pages
of this nice magazine
1213
00:55:01,383 --> 00:55:03,301
I was nice enough to tell you about.
1214
00:55:03,385 --> 00:55:05,053
Was it you, Seth?
1215
00:55:05,136 --> 00:55:06,262
No.
1216
00:55:06,346 --> 00:55:07,764
- No?
- It was me, Franco.
1217
00:55:07,847 --> 00:55:09,975
I fucking made jizz in your magazine.
1218
00:55:10,058 --> 00:55:11,851
- Why?
- When I fucking jack off
1219
00:55:11,935 --> 00:55:13,645
long enough, I end upjizzing, dude.
1220
00:55:13,728 --> 00:55:16,272
I'm assuming the same shit works for you?
1221
00:55:16,356 --> 00:55:18,984
Real fucking smart answer!
Why don't you fucking aim?
1222
00:55:19,067 --> 00:55:22,278
I have a particularly explosive ejaculate.
It just goes everywhere.
1223
00:55:22,362 --> 00:55:24,239
It's like a fucking wild fireman's hose.
1224
00:55:24,322 --> 00:55:27,283
You just got to grab on and pray to God
it doesn't get in your eyes or your mouth.
1225
00:55:27,367 --> 00:55:30,078
The fuck kind of jerking off is that?
What, you never had any brothers?
1226
00:55:30,161 --> 00:55:32,761
You didn't learn to jizz in a fucking sock
or on a fucking tissue?
1227
00:55:32,831 --> 00:55:36,126
No, I don't have any brothers.
I was raised in a house of women!
1228
00:55:36,209 --> 00:55:37,961
I highly doubt they fucking taught you
1229
00:55:38,044 --> 00:55:40,672
to fucking close your eyes
and fucking cum wherever you want!
1230
00:55:40,755 --> 00:55:43,425
I mean, you're getting all worked up
over a fucking porno mag!
1231
00:55:43,508 --> 00:55:45,760
Who has goddamn porno mags anymore?
1232
00:55:45,844 --> 00:55:48,179
Welcome to the 21st century, Buck Rogers!
1233
00:55:48,263 --> 00:55:51,099
You designed a house with
fucking iPads in the walls,
1234
00:55:51,182 --> 00:55:53,601
yet you're jerking your dick
like a goddamn pilgrim!
1235
00:55:53,685 --> 00:55:56,187
That's right, man. I like to fucking read!
1236
00:55:56,271 --> 00:55:58,314
You think that's the only thing
I jerked off in here?
1237
00:55:58,398 --> 00:56:01,609
I've been dropping loads around this
fucking house like a goddamn dump truck.
1238
00:56:01,693 --> 00:56:03,153
You don't cum on my stuff!
1239
00:56:03,236 --> 00:56:06,197
I'll cum wherever the fuck I want, James.
I'll fucking cum in your kitchen.
1240
00:56:06,281 --> 00:56:09,117
I'll cum on your fucking art.
I'll cum anywhere I want!
1241
00:56:09,200 --> 00:56:10,869
I will fucking cum right on you!
1242
00:56:10,952 --> 00:56:13,329
I will cum like a fucking
madman all over you, McBride!
1243
00:56:13,413 --> 00:56:17,584
I fucking wish you'd cum on me right now.
I fucking dare you to cum on me!
1244
00:56:18,626 --> 00:56:20,086
God!
1245
00:56:20,170 --> 00:56:22,380
I'm gonna jack my dick
so fucking hard in here!
1246
00:56:22,464 --> 00:56:25,008
This, no more, man.
All over your fucking face.
1247
00:56:25,091 --> 00:56:27,135
This fucking all more.
All over the fucking place!
1248
00:56:27,218 --> 00:56:28,845
I'll fucking cum anywhere I want!
1249
00:56:28,928 --> 00:56:31,806
I'll fucking cum on these walls!
I'll cum on the fucking cabinets!
1250
00:56:31,890 --> 00:56:33,433
On the fucking furniture!
I'll cum everywhere!
1251
00:56:33,516 --> 00:56:36,728
If I see your dick one more time,
I'm gonna fucking shoot it off!
1252
00:56:36,811 --> 00:56:38,605
You don't have enough bullets, bitch.
1253
00:56:38,688 --> 00:56:41,191
No fucking jerking off
in my house, McBride!
1254
00:56:44,235 --> 00:56:45,945
- Come on, man.
- Fuck this.
1255
00:56:46,029 --> 00:56:47,697
I'm just... I'm too thirsty to do this.
1256
00:56:47,781 --> 00:56:51,341
And the fucking bitter irony is I'm not gonna
have my thirst quenched until I finish this.
1257
00:56:51,367 --> 00:56:52,869
- God damn it, I hate it.
- Danny, no.
1258
00:56:52,952 --> 00:56:54,370
Don't walk away.
Danny, don't walk away from me!
1259
00:56:54,454 --> 00:56:57,499
It's too late, Seth.
I've already walked away too much.
1260
00:56:57,582 --> 00:56:59,334
No, you haven't. You could still come back
1261
00:56:59,417 --> 00:57:01,961
and just fucking turn around
and come back and help me.
1262
00:57:03,963 --> 00:57:05,173
Danny?
1263
00:57:05,882 --> 00:57:07,092
Daniel?
1264
00:57:16,351 --> 00:57:17,685
Need a hand?
1265
00:57:18,269 --> 00:57:19,562
Yeah, dude.
1266
00:57:19,646 --> 00:57:20,605
Your shift just ended, man.
1267
00:57:20,688 --> 00:57:22,065
You don't have to help me
if you don't want to.
1268
00:57:22,148 --> 00:57:23,316
It's fine, I get it.
1269
00:57:23,399 --> 00:57:25,151
The fuck else am I doing?
1270
00:57:25,235 --> 00:57:27,362
I appreciate it, man. Thank you.
1271
00:57:27,445 --> 00:57:28,863
- Done and done.
- That's cool.
1272
00:57:35,203 --> 00:57:37,747
I don't know why I'm thinking of this,
but remember that time
1273
00:57:37,831 --> 00:57:41,626
that I got you a fucking
Taco Bell gift certificate
1274
00:57:41,709 --> 00:57:45,463
for, like, 20 bucks, and I bet you that you
couldn't eat all of that in one sitting.
1275
00:57:45,547 --> 00:57:47,340
I do remember that. I remember thinking,
1276
00:57:47,423 --> 00:57:50,093
"How much food could 20 dollars
possibly buy you at Taco Bell?"
1277
00:57:50,176 --> 00:57:51,594
And the answer is infinite.
1278
00:57:51,678 --> 00:57:53,680
And we went to see fucking Gladiator.
1279
00:57:53,763 --> 00:57:57,308
- Yeah.
- And you sharted midway through the movie.
1280
00:57:57,392 --> 00:57:59,060
- I did.
- Due to the tigers' appearance.
1281
00:57:59,144 --> 00:58:00,687
- I got scared of the tigers.
- Yeah.
1282
00:58:00,770 --> 00:58:02,230
Literally, when the second
tiger came out, I went...
1283
00:58:02,313 --> 00:58:03,690
and then I shat.
1284
00:58:03,773 --> 00:58:05,066
I shat in the theater.
1285
00:58:12,073 --> 00:58:14,075
- Jesus.
- Oh, fuck.
1286
00:58:14,159 --> 00:58:15,577
You guys Okay?
1287
00:58:15,660 --> 00:58:17,287
- I broke my ass in half.
- Here.
1288
00:58:17,370 --> 00:58:18,872
Shit, they got through!
1289
00:58:18,955 --> 00:58:21,166
- You guys fucking did it.
- Oh, my God.
1290
00:58:21,249 --> 00:58:23,585
- Fuck. Did that hurt?
- Yes, it fucking hurt.
1291
00:58:23,668 --> 00:58:25,670
I loosened this up for you,
I'll have you know.
1292
00:58:25,753 --> 00:58:27,547
Okay, just shut up.
It's fucking dark down here.
1293
00:58:27,630 --> 00:58:30,091
Hold on, hold on.
1294
00:58:30,967 --> 00:58:32,093
Nice.
1295
00:58:32,177 --> 00:58:34,095
- Okay, good. Thank you.
- What is that?
1296
00:58:34,179 --> 00:58:36,890
That's Terrence Peterson.
My monkey flashlight keychain.
1297
00:58:36,973 --> 00:58:38,641
Monkey flashlight keychain?
1298
00:58:38,725 --> 00:58:40,268
- What's his name?
- Terrence Peterson.
1299
00:58:40,351 --> 00:58:41,769
- You see it, Seth?
- No. Where...
1300
00:58:41,853 --> 00:58:43,174
Are you sure it's even down here?
1301
00:58:43,229 --> 00:58:44,272
Terry Pete.
1302
00:58:44,355 --> 00:58:45,690
Not sure.
1303
00:58:45,773 --> 00:58:47,066
Is there, is there any
weird shit down here?
1304
00:58:47,150 --> 00:58:50,028
Nah, it's where I keep
all my stuff from my old movies.
1305
00:58:50,111 --> 00:58:51,362
Costumes, props.
1306
00:59:02,707 --> 00:59:04,292
- What?
- Is someone down there?
1307
00:59:04,375 --> 00:59:07,545
It's your fucking stupid
cutout from Spider-Man 3.
1308
00:59:07,629 --> 00:59:09,172
Jesus Christ.
1309
00:59:09,255 --> 00:59:10,298
No shit!
1310
00:59:10,381 --> 00:59:11,466
- There it is!
- Yes! Yeah!
1311
00:59:11,549 --> 00:59:13,468
- What, did you find it?
- Yeah!
1312
00:59:17,138 --> 00:59:19,140
♪ It's the motherfucking
D-o-double-G
1313
00:59:19,224 --> 00:59:20,558
♪ Snoop Dogg!
1314
00:59:22,143 --> 00:59:24,354
♪ You know I'm mobbin'
with the D.R.E.
1315
00:59:24,604 --> 00:59:25,730
Water.
1316
00:59:28,983 --> 00:59:31,069
That is so fucking good.
1317
00:59:31,152 --> 00:59:32,612
The two heroes over here,
breaking through the floor.
1318
00:59:32,695 --> 00:59:34,197
We did break through the floor.
1319
00:59:34,280 --> 00:59:36,199
Any of you guys would
have done the same thing.
1320
00:59:36,282 --> 00:59:38,618
Oh, man. That fucking hurt.
1321
00:59:38,701 --> 00:59:40,828
Yeah, I'm surprised you didn't shart again.
1322
00:59:40,912 --> 00:59:42,080
I think I did.
1323
00:59:42,163 --> 00:59:43,998
Hey, what year is this? 19...
1324
00:59:44,082 --> 00:59:45,667
That's a good... That's a good year.
1325
00:59:45,750 --> 00:59:47,043
Hey, hey. Yo, yo, yo!
1326
00:59:47,126 --> 00:59:48,795
What are you doing?
1327
00:59:48,878 --> 00:59:50,004
What am I doing?
1328
00:59:51,339 --> 00:59:52,757
Fuck, man.
1329
00:59:52,840 --> 00:59:54,759
I'm just pouring myself
another glass of water
1330
00:59:54,842 --> 00:59:56,803
to wash down that dry-ass
Cinnamon Toast Crunch.
1331
00:59:56,886 --> 00:59:59,847
That's very nice, but you can't just
pour yourself another glass of water, man!
1332
00:59:59,931 --> 01:00:01,015
Will you cut it out?
1333
01:00:01,099 --> 01:00:03,351
- Yeah.
- We agreed to one glass at dinner,
1334
01:00:03,434 --> 01:00:04,602
we voted on it, man.
1335
01:00:04,686 --> 01:00:07,355
Well, man, I'm just getting sick and tired
of all these fucking rules, man.
1336
01:00:07,438 --> 01:00:08,856
You don't see me putting rules on you guys.
1337
01:00:08,940 --> 01:00:11,276
You cannot have another glass of water.
1338
01:00:11,359 --> 01:00:13,403
Jay weighs 150 pounds less than me.
1339
01:00:13,486 --> 01:00:15,363
Why the fuck is it fair
1340
01:00:15,446 --> 01:00:17,323
that him and I should drink
the same amount of water?
1341
01:00:17,407 --> 01:00:21,077
We should be dividing our rations
based on our proportionate size.
1342
01:00:21,160 --> 01:00:23,621
I don't want to come off
as a diva here or anything.
1343
01:00:23,705 --> 01:00:26,332
It's just that I think everyone
should split everything equally.
1344
01:00:26,416 --> 01:00:28,584
"I just think that everybody
should have the fucking same.
1345
01:00:28,668 --> 01:00:30,753
"I have a goddamn earring."
Shut the fuck up, Jonah!
1346
01:00:30,837 --> 01:00:34,465
You know what, Danny? If you weren't jizzing
all the time, maybe you'd be more hydrated.
1347
01:00:34,549 --> 01:00:36,175
You're making me into a joke
right now, Franco,
1348
01:00:36,259 --> 01:00:38,052
and you are not gonna like
the fucking punch line.
1349
01:00:38,136 --> 01:00:41,055
No more jerking off! No more water!
Just sit the fuck down!
1350
01:00:41,139 --> 01:00:42,432
Okay, I'm done.
1351
01:00:42,515 --> 01:00:43,725
We're not gonna have any more water.
1352
01:00:43,808 --> 01:00:44,809
- Good.
- All right.
1353
01:00:46,811 --> 01:00:48,396
Hey!
1354
01:00:55,653 --> 01:00:57,405
Someone help me! Fucking grab it!
1355
01:01:00,158 --> 01:01:01,409
What are you doing?
1356
01:01:01,492 --> 01:01:02,532
You guys made this happen!
1357
01:01:02,577 --> 01:01:05,038
You guys forced my fucking hand
by ganging up on me.
1358
01:01:05,121 --> 01:01:08,082
God damn it, I'm gonna fucking
kill this motherfucker!
1359
01:01:10,168 --> 01:01:12,587
That's what I thought. Nerd.
1360
01:01:17,800 --> 01:01:18,801
All right, guys,
1361
01:01:18,926 --> 01:01:20,053
let's get rid of him.
1362
01:01:20,136 --> 01:01:21,429
What? What do you mean?
1363
01:01:21,512 --> 01:01:23,056
Like, kick him out of the house?
1364
01:01:23,139 --> 01:01:25,892
His fucking reckless behavior is
dragging us all down.
1365
01:01:25,975 --> 01:01:27,977
I mean, he wasted our water twice.
1366
01:01:28,061 --> 01:01:29,937
Two times. Two times.
1367
01:01:30,021 --> 01:01:32,523
Dan is under a lot of pressure. Okay?
1368
01:01:32,607 --> 01:01:34,359
And he's not handling it
as good as the rest of us are.
1369
01:01:34,442 --> 01:01:37,153
Look at him.
He's wearing my fucking tuxedo.
1370
01:01:37,236 --> 01:01:38,821
He's been eating nonstop.
1371
01:01:38,905 --> 01:01:41,282
The fucker's gained
weight since he got here.
1372
01:01:41,366 --> 01:01:43,368
The fucker's got to go.
1373
01:01:43,451 --> 01:01:44,452
Go.
1374
01:01:44,535 --> 01:01:46,120
The fucker's got to go.
1375
01:01:50,625 --> 01:01:52,210
This is how you all feel?
1376
01:01:52,293 --> 01:01:53,544
We talked about it.
1377
01:01:53,628 --> 01:01:56,506
You guys are gonna vote me off the island?
1378
01:01:56,589 --> 01:01:59,509
I mean, I made you guys breakfast.
1379
01:01:59,592 --> 01:02:01,886
Shit, man, you wasted half
of our food when you did that.
1380
01:02:01,969 --> 01:02:04,680
Just thought I was doing
something nice for you guys.
1381
01:02:04,764 --> 01:02:08,059
Just to apologize
for my behavior at the party.
1382
01:02:08,142 --> 01:02:09,477
Party I wasn't even invited to.
1383
01:02:10,520 --> 01:02:11,771
I'm not an idiot.
1384
01:02:12,230 --> 01:02:14,857
I know why you guys don't fucking call me
or hang out with me anymore.
1385
01:02:14,941 --> 01:02:17,985
It's because I party so fucking hard.
1386
01:02:18,444 --> 01:02:21,489
Always have. Ever since I was a baby.
1387
01:02:21,572 --> 01:02:23,282
I wouldn't just suck on my mama's titties.
1388
01:02:23,366 --> 01:02:26,494
I would fucking bang 'em and motorboat 'em.
1389
01:02:27,662 --> 01:02:31,207
Everything I've been doing
has just been a cry for help.
1390
01:02:31,290 --> 01:02:34,085
When I came on your magazine, James,
1391
01:02:34,168 --> 01:02:36,129
it was a cum for help.
1392
01:02:36,212 --> 01:02:40,007
I've just been crying and comin'
and crying and comin',
1393
01:02:40,675 --> 01:02:42,927
tears from the tip of my penis, dudes.
1394
01:02:44,262 --> 01:02:45,972
I'm sorry, all right?
You can cum wherever you want.
1395
01:02:46,055 --> 01:02:48,474
I don't even care about coming anymore.
1396
01:02:50,017 --> 01:02:52,437
Right now, I'm just kind of into going.
1397
01:02:53,604 --> 01:02:55,273
- Danny.
- Danny.
1398
01:02:55,356 --> 01:02:56,441
- Hey.
- Come on, man.
1399
01:02:56,524 --> 01:02:58,025
I fucked up.
1400
01:02:58,109 --> 01:02:59,402
I'm sorry, man. Come on, look,
1401
01:02:59,485 --> 01:03:01,154
- I was wrong.
- I feel like shit, man.
1402
01:03:01,237 --> 01:03:02,738
I didn't want it to happen like this.
1403
01:03:02,822 --> 01:03:05,283
- Let's just discuss it some more, okay?
- Yeah. Let's just talk, dude.
1404
01:03:05,366 --> 01:03:08,035
We're giving you an option.
It's a choice, man.
1405
01:03:08,119 --> 01:03:09,954
There's nothing to figure out, all right?
1406
01:03:10,037 --> 01:03:12,707
You guys have said enough,
and there's no going back anymore.
1407
01:03:13,875 --> 01:03:16,878
I don't know if there maybe is, like,
something you guys could give me
1408
01:03:16,961 --> 01:03:19,547
so I could at least have some sort of
protection while I'm out there.
1409
01:03:19,630 --> 01:03:21,966
Danny, you don't have to do this.
1410
01:03:22,049 --> 01:03:23,426
- Yeah, man.
- All right,
1411
01:03:23,509 --> 01:03:24,719
if you're really leaving
1412
01:03:26,053 --> 01:03:28,139
then you should take this.
1413
01:03:28,222 --> 01:03:29,891
Really?
1414
01:03:29,974 --> 01:03:32,268
You don't know what's out there.
1415
01:03:35,605 --> 01:03:37,273
Thank you, James.
1416
01:03:38,149 --> 01:03:41,569
It means a lot to you, and I
appreciate that you'd give this to me,
1417
01:03:41,652 --> 01:03:43,488
you stupid, stupid motherfucker!
1418
01:03:46,782 --> 01:03:49,577
Fucking psychopath. It's a prop gun!
1419
01:03:49,660 --> 01:03:51,204
What, do you think
I'd put real bullets in here?
1420
01:03:51,287 --> 01:03:53,581
You were gonna send me out there
with a fucking gun
1421
01:03:53,664 --> 01:03:54,707
- filled with blanks?
- Fuck you!
1422
01:03:54,790 --> 01:03:56,042
Don't turn this around on us.
1423
01:03:56,125 --> 01:03:58,127
You just tried to shoot us,
you fucking dickhead!
1424
01:03:58,211 --> 01:03:59,253
Fucking murdering motherfucker!
1425
01:03:59,337 --> 01:04:01,672
Whatever.
Fucking civilization is broken down.
1426
01:04:01,756 --> 01:04:04,175
There's no more reason
for this false bullshit.
1427
01:04:04,258 --> 01:04:06,177
You guys act like you're
so fucking high and mighty,
1428
01:04:06,260 --> 01:04:08,513
like you've never made
a goddamn mistake before.
1429
01:04:08,596 --> 01:04:10,556
Franco, you're just
a pretentious fucking nerd.
1430
01:04:10,640 --> 01:04:11,682
Fuck you.
1431
01:04:11,766 --> 01:04:12,850
And, Jonah,
1432
01:04:12,934 --> 01:04:14,268
you fucking cunt.
1433
01:04:16,020 --> 01:04:19,065
Craig, you didn't have my back, back there.
1434
01:04:19,148 --> 01:04:21,275
- You fuckin' disappoint me.
- Bro.
1435
01:04:21,359 --> 01:04:24,111
And, Seth, you duplicitous taint.
1436
01:04:24,195 --> 01:04:27,114
- What?
- Then of course, there's Jay,
1437
01:04:27,198 --> 01:04:30,743
the self-righteous,
cock-sucking, two-faced backstabber.
1438
01:04:30,826 --> 01:04:32,578
What the fuck are you talking about?
1439
01:04:32,662 --> 01:04:34,413
I overheard your little
conversation with Craig, all right?
1440
01:04:34,497 --> 01:04:36,791
The only reason
why you care about any of us is
1441
01:04:36,874 --> 01:04:38,501
because you think
that's what God wants you to do.
1442
01:04:38,584 --> 01:04:39,961
You don't give a shit about us.
1443
01:04:40,044 --> 01:04:43,256
No, no, no, no, that's fucking
twisting that shit... You're fucking lying.
1444
01:04:43,339 --> 01:04:44,674
Am I twisting this?
1445
01:04:44,757 --> 01:04:49,512
I believe you were in Los Angeles
two months ago, at the Four Seasons.
1446
01:04:49,595 --> 01:04:53,099
I saw you there, and you specifically
asked me not to tell Seth,
1447
01:04:53,182 --> 01:04:57,228
so that you could maintain the illusion
that you always stay with Seth
1448
01:04:57,311 --> 01:04:58,396
when you're in Los Angeles.
1449
01:05:01,148 --> 01:05:02,358
Jay.
1450
01:05:02,441 --> 01:05:04,151
- Fuck, man.
- It's not...
1451
01:05:04,235 --> 01:05:06,571
Textbook twattage.
1452
01:05:06,654 --> 01:05:08,656
And just for the record, you guys,
1453
01:05:08,739 --> 01:05:10,992
I'm choosing to leave,
you're not kicking me out.
1454
01:05:11,075 --> 01:05:13,202
You guys had already said that
I could come back in
1455
01:05:13,286 --> 01:05:15,496
and I'm the one who said
that I'm not coming back in.
1456
01:05:15,580 --> 01:05:16,831
Don't be cocky.
1457
01:05:22,295 --> 01:05:23,629
Get the fuck out of here.
1458
01:05:25,339 --> 01:05:26,966
Is that true?
1459
01:05:29,051 --> 01:05:30,094
Yes.
1460
01:05:30,177 --> 01:05:31,512
J3Y... '
1461
01:05:32,763 --> 01:05:35,725
I know this is probably my fault
because I put you on a pedestal,
1462
01:05:35,808 --> 01:05:38,477
but you should not be
dishonest with your friends.
1463
01:05:38,561 --> 01:05:40,646
But you really let me down.
1464
01:05:41,731 --> 01:05:43,274
- Hey!
- Jay, damn, man.
1465
01:05:43,357 --> 01:05:45,735
- Fuck!
- What the hell?
1466
01:05:45,818 --> 01:05:47,695
It's all fucked, isn't it?
1467
01:05:48,404 --> 01:05:49,780
- Jonah, you okay?
- Yeah.
1468
01:05:50,239 --> 01:05:51,574
Bleeding?
1469
01:05:55,369 --> 01:05:56,370
Yeah.
1470
01:05:58,914 --> 01:06:02,918
His insides hurt worse than my outsides.
1471
01:06:10,718 --> 01:06:12,053
Dear God,
1472
01:06:13,763 --> 01:06:16,057
I'd like to pray to You for a second.
1473
01:06:16,140 --> 01:06:17,808
It's me, Jonah Hill.
1474
01:06:19,810 --> 01:06:21,479
From Moneyball.
1475
01:06:23,814 --> 01:06:28,194
I hate Jay so fucking much.
1476
01:06:28,277 --> 01:06:31,238
I think he might be the worst person
You ever created.
1477
01:06:31,322 --> 01:06:34,825
I don't want to judge You, but...
1478
01:06:34,909 --> 01:06:38,162
What's up? What were You thinking that day?
1479
01:06:38,245 --> 01:06:42,792
I love Seth, I love being his friend,
he's an awesome guy,
1480
01:06:42,875 --> 01:06:48,756
but it's like Jay is the last connection
to his shitty, weird Canadian life.
1481
01:06:49,924 --> 01:06:51,676
Just do me one favor, God.
1482
01:06:53,886 --> 01:06:55,638
Just kill Jay.
1483
01:06:58,057 --> 01:06:59,642
That'd be so tight.
1484
01:07:57,867 --> 01:07:59,744
Stop, man.
1485
01:07:59,827 --> 01:08:01,996
Seriously, Craig, stop.
1486
01:08:02,496 --> 01:08:04,415
Your nails are sharp.
1487
01:08:16,510 --> 01:08:17,678
This is no dream!
1488
01:08:18,637 --> 01:08:20,931
This is really happening!
1489
01:08:21,932 --> 01:08:23,058
No!
1490
01:08:35,780 --> 01:08:39,742
Something not that chill
happened last night.
1491
01:08:40,701 --> 01:08:45,039
Yo, so, I just drank
my own pee for the first time.
1492
01:08:45,706 --> 01:08:50,127
And it ain't bad. I never thought to do it.
1493
01:08:50,211 --> 01:08:53,380
I always thought, you know,
pee stink, whatever, but...
1494
01:09:11,315 --> 01:09:13,234
I think we all remember how this works.
1495
01:09:13,317 --> 01:09:15,558
Whoever gets the burnt match
has to go to one of Franco's
1496
01:09:15,569 --> 01:09:17,569
neighbors' houses,
get us some food and some water.
1497
01:09:17,571 --> 01:09:19,406
No-ho-ho. No, I'm not going first.
1498
01:09:19,490 --> 01:09:20,950
- I'll go first.
- Thank you.
1499
01:09:21,033 --> 01:09:22,785
Very mature of you. Thank you.
1500
01:09:27,248 --> 01:09:28,582
Yes!
1501
01:09:28,666 --> 01:09:30,417
Sorry.
1502
01:09:31,502 --> 01:09:32,503
Good job.
1503
01:09:36,257 --> 01:09:37,424
You okay, Jonah?
1504
01:09:37,508 --> 01:09:38,551
What's that?
1505
01:09:38,634 --> 01:09:39,718
You Okay?
1506
01:09:40,386 --> 01:09:43,222
Yeah. Just bad sleep. Crazy dream.
1507
01:09:43,305 --> 01:09:44,598
Here, Jonah.
1508
01:09:47,852 --> 01:09:49,186
Jonah.
1509
01:09:49,270 --> 01:09:51,355
- Okay.
- Shit.
1510
01:09:51,438 --> 01:09:52,940
Craigers, you feeling lucky?
1511
01:09:53,232 --> 01:09:54,733
Will history repeat itself?
1512
01:09:57,486 --> 01:09:58,529
Thank you.
1513
01:10:01,574 --> 01:10:02,825
You got this, dawg.
1514
01:10:10,708 --> 01:10:13,085
Seth! No! Not you!
1515
01:10:20,259 --> 01:10:21,260
I'm not going.
1516
01:10:21,343 --> 01:10:23,721
- What?
- I'm not going.
1517
01:10:23,804 --> 01:10:25,097
I'm bowing out. I'm declining to go.
1518
01:10:25,180 --> 01:10:27,308
- What?
- Let me break it down for you.
1519
01:10:27,683 --> 01:10:29,268
I'm not fucking going.
1520
01:10:29,351 --> 01:10:31,471
You are definitely going.
Tell him he's fucking going.
1521
01:10:31,478 --> 01:10:33,838
Tell you what, why don't you
fucking go, Mr. Self-Righteous?
1522
01:10:33,856 --> 01:10:36,275
You're constantly saying what assholes
we are, how good you are.
1523
01:10:36,358 --> 01:10:37,902
You go get us some fuckin' water.
1524
01:10:42,031 --> 01:10:43,157
I will go.
1525
01:10:44,325 --> 01:10:45,951
Because I have
1526
01:10:46,035 --> 01:10:47,912
- something called honor.
- Fuck, fuck, fuck.
1527
01:10:47,995 --> 01:10:49,788
That's good. Yeah, you're very honorable.
1528
01:10:50,247 --> 01:10:51,582
I'll go with you, Jay.
1529
01:10:51,665 --> 01:10:52,833
Really?
1530
01:10:52,917 --> 01:10:55,336
Is it because of our pact upstairs?
1531
01:10:55,419 --> 01:10:57,838
Nah, 'cause you got them skinny-ass arms.
1532
01:10:57,922 --> 01:10:59,965
You couldn't carry enough
to feed a hamster.
1533
01:11:01,425 --> 01:11:02,468
It's working.
1534
01:11:06,013 --> 01:11:07,348
Let's get that money.
1535
01:11:07,431 --> 01:11:09,016
Let's do it.
1536
01:11:09,516 --> 01:11:11,852
Yo. Out and to the left.
1537
01:11:19,318 --> 01:11:20,361
Bye.
1538
01:11:25,366 --> 01:11:26,700
Oh, my God.
1539
01:11:26,784 --> 01:11:28,035
What?
1540
01:11:28,577 --> 01:11:30,204
That's so sad.
1541
01:11:31,413 --> 01:11:33,540
Innocence lost.
1542
01:11:39,546 --> 01:11:40,923
What is that?
1543
01:11:41,215 --> 01:11:42,174
Fire.
1544
01:11:42,257 --> 01:11:43,717
There's, like, fire everywhere.
1545
01:11:43,801 --> 01:11:45,094
Damn it!
1546
01:11:46,053 --> 01:11:47,388
Hey, hey!
1547
01:11:49,264 --> 01:11:51,475
Fuck, yeah. Let's go, let's go, let's go.
1548
01:12:06,657 --> 01:12:08,409
- Hello?
- Shut the fuck up!
1549
01:12:08,492 --> 01:12:10,119
- What?
- You yelling that shit for?
1550
01:12:10,202 --> 01:12:11,912
- We got to find out...
- Don't yell no more, man.
1551
01:12:11,996 --> 01:12:13,998
Crack you in the head with this frying pan.
1552
01:12:14,081 --> 01:12:18,085
Okay. So we should probably split up,
cover more ground.
1553
01:12:18,168 --> 01:12:20,421
What you think this is, Scooby-Doo?
1554
01:12:20,546 --> 01:12:22,214
We're gonna go in there,
we're gonna find the kitchen,
1555
01:12:22,297 --> 01:12:24,008
and get as much shit as we can, together!
1556
01:12:24,091 --> 01:12:25,259
Then we're getting the fuck out of here.
1557
01:12:25,342 --> 01:12:27,094
- All right, all right.
- All right?
1558
01:12:30,806 --> 01:12:31,807
Hey.
1559
01:12:32,391 --> 01:12:33,517
Hey.
1560
01:12:33,600 --> 01:12:35,185
What are you doing?
1561
01:12:35,269 --> 01:12:39,273
That should be me out there.
I totally fucked those guys.
1562
01:12:42,609 --> 01:12:43,777
Fuck was that?
1563
01:12:45,362 --> 01:12:47,281
- Oh, fuck!
- Is he okay?
1564
01:12:47,364 --> 01:12:48,532
Dude! Jonah!
1565
01:12:48,615 --> 01:12:50,034
What the fuck? What do we do?
1566
01:12:50,117 --> 01:12:51,757
- Do you know first aid or anything?
- No.
1567
01:12:51,827 --> 01:12:52,911
- Jonah!
- I suck at first aid.
1568
01:12:52,995 --> 01:12:54,288
- Are you okay? Shit!
- Jonah?
1569
01:12:54,371 --> 01:12:56,206
Oh, no. Low blood sugar. LBS.
1570
01:12:56,290 --> 01:12:58,125
- LBS!
- He's having an LBS episode!
1571
01:12:58,208 --> 01:13:00,252
- I'll get the Milky Way!
- You get the Milky Way!
1572
01:13:09,178 --> 01:13:10,637
Jay.
1573
01:13:13,307 --> 01:13:15,392
Jonah, stay with me! Stay with me.
1574
01:13:15,476 --> 01:13:17,394
I got it, I got it, I got it, got it,
open his mouth.
1575
01:13:17,478 --> 01:13:18,771
- It's your friend, Seth.
- Open his mouth.
1576
01:13:18,854 --> 01:13:21,315
Open his mouth. Open his mouth.
I'll get this in there.
1577
01:13:21,398 --> 01:13:22,733
- Okay, okay.
- Shove it right in there.
1578
01:13:22,816 --> 01:13:24,318
Jonah. Milky Way, Jonah.
1579
01:13:24,401 --> 01:13:25,921
- You love the Milky Way.
- Yummy, yum.
1580
01:13:25,986 --> 01:13:27,321
It's not fucking working, man!
1581
01:13:27,404 --> 01:13:29,615
- What the fuck!
- How do we get it in there?
1582
01:13:29,698 --> 01:13:32,826
Chew it up, chew it up and spit
in his mouth like a baby bird.
1583
01:13:34,661 --> 01:13:36,747
- You just swallowed it, man.
- It's so good.
1584
01:13:36,830 --> 01:13:38,499
Give me a bite.
1585
01:13:39,666 --> 01:13:42,377
The second it hits your mouth is,
like, amazing.
1586
01:13:43,837 --> 01:13:46,006
- Okay.
- Open it.
1587
01:13:53,388 --> 01:13:55,015
What the fuck was that?
1588
01:13:55,099 --> 01:13:57,101
- That's Hebrew.
- That's not Hebrew.
1589
01:13:57,184 --> 01:13:58,560
It's fuckin' Latin or something like that.
1590
01:13:58,644 --> 01:14:00,885
I went to Hebrew school for six years.
That's not Hebrew.
1591
01:14:01,730 --> 01:14:03,941
You will drown in a river of blood.
1592
01:14:04,024 --> 01:14:05,943
The End of Days is here.
1593
01:14:06,026 --> 01:14:08,946
You will quiver
in the shadow of Kingdom Come.
1594
01:14:09,029 --> 01:14:11,949
Judgment Day is upon you.
1595
01:14:12,032 --> 01:14:16,328
The Apocalypse is nigh!
1596
01:14:18,872 --> 01:14:20,833
Hey, I think that's all it could fit.
1597
01:14:21,542 --> 01:14:25,587
Man, let's take this back to Franco's,
get the fuck out of here.
1598
01:14:27,589 --> 01:14:28,799
What are we going back for?
1599
01:14:28,882 --> 01:14:29,967
What are you talking about?
1600
01:14:30,050 --> 01:14:34,012
In theory, we could just fuckin' stay here.
1601
01:14:34,096 --> 01:14:39,977
And here, you don't have to sleep
in a friggin' tent under a dick.
1602
01:14:40,060 --> 01:14:42,521
- I like my dick tent.
- I'm just saying,
1603
01:14:42,604 --> 01:14:46,400
we could build a life here together, Craig.
I'd be really good to you.
1604
01:14:46,859 --> 01:14:51,655
All I know is I'm scared as hell,
and I just want to get back to our friends.
1605
01:14:51,738 --> 01:14:53,059
Yeah, but they're not my friends.
1606
01:14:53,407 --> 01:14:54,366
Seth is your friend.
1607
01:14:54,449 --> 01:14:56,660
We've been growing apart for years.
1608
01:14:56,743 --> 01:14:59,329
That's why I didn't stay
with him last time I was here.
1609
01:14:59,413 --> 01:15:01,832
And I stayed with him
this time to try and salvage it,
1610
01:15:01,915 --> 01:15:03,667
but clearly that didn't work out.
1611
01:15:03,750 --> 01:15:06,420
Jay, like it or not,
1612
01:15:07,045 --> 01:15:08,755
those assholes are all we got.
1613
01:15:12,801 --> 01:15:15,387
- Did you hear that?
- Yeah, that was a creak.
1614
01:15:20,517 --> 01:15:22,519
What is that?
1615
01:15:24,438 --> 01:15:25,939
What is that? Is that bile?
1616
01:15:26,023 --> 01:15:28,066
I don't know. It's cold.
1617
01:15:28,150 --> 01:15:29,401
Sniff it.
1618
01:15:29,484 --> 01:15:31,945
No. You sniff it.
1619
01:15:34,114 --> 01:15:35,949
- What?
- It smells like puke.
1620
01:15:36,950 --> 01:15:38,619
Don't get it on me!
1621
01:15:49,296 --> 01:15:50,589
- It's in my eyes!
- Dude!
1622
01:15:50,672 --> 01:15:53,008
- It's in my mouth!
- He's gone!
1623
01:15:53,091 --> 01:15:55,260
- Where is he?
- He's fucking gone!
1624
01:15:55,344 --> 01:15:57,596
Shit! Shit! Shit! Shit!
1625
01:16:07,022 --> 01:16:09,650
Please, God! Jesus, Jesus!
1626
01:16:17,282 --> 01:16:18,283
Fuck.
1627
01:16:19,034 --> 01:16:20,744
- Jonah!
- Jonah!
1628
01:16:20,827 --> 01:16:22,955
Jonah, stop this!
1629
01:16:23,038 --> 01:16:24,581
- Please!
- Jonah, where the fuck are you?
1630
01:16:24,665 --> 01:16:26,333
Why did you vomit on us!
1631
01:16:29,753 --> 01:16:31,672
Bad Jonah! Stop!
1632
01:16:31,755 --> 01:16:33,590
Stop eating him!
1633
01:16:33,674 --> 01:16:35,676
Watch out! He's super strong!
1634
01:16:38,220 --> 01:16:39,263
Shit!
1635
01:16:39,346 --> 01:16:41,515
What is happen...
1636
01:16:41,598 --> 01:16:42,766
Oh, no!
1637
01:16:42,849 --> 01:16:44,601
I'm gonna tittie-fuck you, Seth.
1638
01:16:44,685 --> 01:16:46,103
Don't tittie-fuck me!
1639
01:16:46,186 --> 01:16:47,646
What are they, big B's or small C's?
1640
01:16:47,729 --> 01:16:50,274
I'm gonna push your titties together.
1641
01:16:50,357 --> 01:16:51,984
Push 'em together!
1642
01:16:52,067 --> 01:16:53,652
I'll get you something to help!
1643
01:16:53,735 --> 01:16:55,862
- I'll pass you something!
- Okay, pass it to me.
1644
01:16:56,530 --> 01:16:58,490
Fuck! Shit!
1645
01:17:04,538 --> 01:17:05,622
Seth!
1646
01:17:07,207 --> 01:17:09,209
We're getting crazy!
1647
01:17:15,132 --> 01:17:16,383
Come on! Come on!
1648
01:17:17,801 --> 01:17:20,304
Jesus, open, God damn you, open!
1649
01:17:23,640 --> 01:17:25,475
No, no, no, no.
1650
01:17:31,273 --> 01:17:32,733
Jesus“.
1651
01:17:33,233 --> 01:17:35,610
Oh, fuck.
1652
01:17:36,069 --> 01:17:37,821
- We gotta hide. We gotta hide.
- I know!
1653
01:17:37,904 --> 01:17:39,197
- He's coming! He's coming!
- I know he's coming!
1654
01:17:39,281 --> 01:17:40,824
I don't know what the fuck to do!
1655
01:17:40,907 --> 01:17:42,659
I don't know...
1656
01:17:42,951 --> 01:17:44,411
Where are you going?
1657
01:17:44,786 --> 01:17:46,413
Shit.
1658
01:17:54,963 --> 01:17:56,923
- Please go away.
- He's sniffing.
1659
01:17:57,674 --> 01:17:58,675
I'm so scared, James.
1660
01:17:58,759 --> 01:17:59,926
Be quiet.
1661
01:18:01,428 --> 01:18:03,180
- You're breathing really loud.
- Am I?
1662
01:18:03,555 --> 01:18:05,235
- Don't breathe through your mouth.
- Okay.
1663
01:18:07,100 --> 01:18:09,936
- Now you're doing loud nose breathing.
- Am I?
1664
01:18:10,020 --> 01:18:11,813
I don't know where else to breathe from.
1665
01:18:13,440 --> 01:18:14,608
- Is that...
- Seth.
1666
01:18:19,613 --> 01:18:21,198
Oh, shit. Don't move.
1667
01:18:21,281 --> 01:18:22,908
Shit, he's coming right this way. Oh, shit.
1668
01:18:22,991 --> 01:18:24,284
Oh, shit. Oh, shit.
1669
01:18:31,875 --> 01:18:33,794
Get out of my way! Move! Move!
1670
01:18:33,877 --> 01:18:35,837
Fuck!
1671
01:18:38,965 --> 01:18:39,966
You Okay?
1672
01:18:40,050 --> 01:18:41,218
Come on!
1673
01:18:41,301 --> 01:18:45,305
- Let's go. Let's go.
- Okay. Okay. Okay.
1674
01:18:47,849 --> 01:18:49,643
What the fuck! What are you doing?
1675
01:18:49,726 --> 01:18:51,144
- What are you doing?
- What are you doing?
1676
01:18:51,228 --> 01:18:52,729
There's a fuckin' demon chasing us!
1677
01:18:52,813 --> 01:18:54,398
- A demon?
- Demon?
1678
01:18:54,481 --> 01:18:57,317
- What the fuck happened to you guys?
- That!
1679
01:18:57,401 --> 01:18:58,819
- It's Jonah!
- He's possessed!
1680
01:18:58,902 --> 01:19:00,153
He's crazy!
1681
01:19:01,113 --> 01:19:03,490
Oh, fuck! You brained him.
1682
01:19:03,573 --> 01:19:05,333
Is that... I was supposed
to do that, right?
1683
01:19:05,367 --> 01:19:06,493
Yeah.
1684
01:19:09,830 --> 01:19:11,665
Motherfucker.
1685
01:19:12,374 --> 01:19:13,917
- Fasten!
- Hurry!
1686
01:19:14,000 --> 01:19:16,461
- Fasten, God damn you, bastard!
- He's gonna be fuckin'
1687
01:19:16,545 --> 01:19:17,921
bad news when he wakes up!
1688
01:19:18,004 --> 01:19:19,840
He's fuckin' strong.
1689
01:19:19,923 --> 01:19:21,591
- My side's good.
- Oh, shit!
1690
01:19:21,675 --> 01:19:23,260
All right, I'll fuckin' hit him.
1691
01:19:23,343 --> 01:19:24,928
- Fuck! Come on, come on!
- Okay!
1692
01:19:30,350 --> 01:19:32,811
This shit's cray cray, guys.
1693
01:19:33,103 --> 01:19:36,064
I mean, it's, like, the
real, like Apocalypse.
1694
01:19:36,148 --> 01:19:40,735
It's, like, the Book of Revelations,
like that means there's a God.
1695
01:19:40,819 --> 01:19:42,112
Right?
1696
01:19:42,195 --> 01:19:44,865
I haven't led my life as though
there's a God this whole time.
1697
01:19:44,948 --> 01:19:47,451
Who fuckin' saw that coming?
That there's actually a God?
1698
01:19:47,534 --> 01:19:50,829
I'd say 95% of the planet.
1699
01:19:52,372 --> 01:19:54,499
Jesus fucking Christ, man.
1700
01:19:54,583 --> 01:19:56,626
You might want to stay away
from saying that.
1701
01:19:56,710 --> 01:19:59,212
"Jesus fucking Christ"? Why?
1702
01:19:59,296 --> 01:20:00,964
- Why can't I say that?
- One of the Ten Commandments.
1703
01:20:01,047 --> 01:20:03,884
"Thou shall not take
the name of the Lord thy God in vain."
1704
01:20:03,967 --> 01:20:05,385
Jesus isn't the name of the Lord.
1705
01:20:05,469 --> 01:20:06,678
God is name of the Lord.
1706
01:20:06,761 --> 01:20:08,805
Jesus, God, it's all the same.
1707
01:20:08,889 --> 01:20:11,183
- It's the Trinity.
- Father, Son, Holy Ghost.
1708
01:20:11,266 --> 01:20:13,143
It's like Neapolitan ice cream.
1709
01:20:13,226 --> 01:20:14,853
I don't even know what
the fucking Commandments are.
1710
01:20:14,936 --> 01:20:19,065
Guys, I think this is sort of bullshit,
because we're all good people.
1711
01:20:19,399 --> 01:20:22,319
I can look at each one of you in the eye,
I know you're good.
1712
01:20:22,402 --> 01:20:24,029
- I'm good.
- We're four actors.
1713
01:20:24,112 --> 01:20:26,072
We bring joy to people's lives.
1714
01:20:26,156 --> 01:20:27,866
Yeah, but we don't do it for free.
1715
01:20:27,949 --> 01:20:32,162
We get paid handsomely,
much higher than the average profession.
1716
01:20:32,245 --> 01:20:35,707
It's not like it was just handed to any of us.
We've worked really hard to be here.
1717
01:20:35,790 --> 01:20:37,918
Yeah, pretend like it's hot when it's cold.
1718
01:20:38,460 --> 01:20:40,587
You sitting on the beach, it's freezing,
1719
01:20:40,670 --> 01:20:44,758
you in your drawers, talking about
something, everybody's surfing.
1720
01:20:44,841 --> 01:20:47,052
I think God might have just fucked up,
1721
01:20:47,135 --> 01:20:50,180
made a mistake,
and left us behind by accident.
1722
01:20:50,263 --> 01:20:52,224
I mean, He's got a lot
of shit on His plate.
1723
01:20:52,307 --> 01:20:55,393
It's not an oversight,
it's not a mistake, okay?
1724
01:20:55,477 --> 01:20:59,648
We got to face facts. We're here,
and there's a reason we're all here.
1725
01:20:59,731 --> 01:21:02,025
Why are you so sure?
1726
01:21:02,108 --> 01:21:04,194
I've done things, man. I...
1727
01:21:07,322 --> 01:21:09,074
I gouged a man's eyeballs out.
1728
01:21:09,157 --> 01:21:10,909
- What the...
- Fuck off.
1729
01:21:10,992 --> 01:21:12,744
- Craig.
- Well, I was a kid, man.
1730
01:21:12,827 --> 01:21:15,038
It was a fuckin' bar fight.
1731
01:21:15,121 --> 01:21:16,456
It was a bad foosball game.
1732
01:21:16,540 --> 01:21:19,209
He said I didn't call spinneys,
and I fuckin' called spinneys.
1733
01:21:19,292 --> 01:21:22,128
He got all in my face,
and I smashed a bottle across his face,
1734
01:21:23,046 --> 01:21:24,714
and the first eyeball was an accident,
1735
01:21:24,798 --> 01:21:27,425
but then I was, like, fuck it,
and I went for the second one.
1736
01:21:27,509 --> 01:21:29,553
It was fucked up. But you know what?
1737
01:21:29,636 --> 01:21:34,099
That shit happens. I'm saying, that's...
I think that's why I'm here.
1738
01:21:34,182 --> 01:21:36,226
I got to admit something.
1739
01:21:36,309 --> 01:21:37,602
I...
1740
01:21:39,479 --> 01:21:40,897
I fucked Lindsay Lohan.
1741
01:21:40,981 --> 01:21:43,858
She was fucked up. She was high.
1742
01:21:43,942 --> 01:21:46,528
It was at the Chateau Marmont,
and she kept banging on my door.
1743
01:21:48,071 --> 01:21:49,781
She kept calling me Jake Gyllenhaal.
1744
01:21:49,864 --> 01:21:51,157
That's fucked up.
1745
01:21:51,241 --> 01:21:54,744
Yeah, I said, "Call me
the Prince of Persia."
1746
01:21:54,828 --> 01:21:58,081
See, that's what I'm saying, man.
We've all done bad shit, you know?
1747
01:21:58,164 --> 01:22:01,084
We've done more bad shit
than good in our lives, and
1748
01:22:03,169 --> 01:22:06,006
it's time to pay the piper.
1749
01:22:06,965 --> 01:22:08,133
Shit!
1750
01:22:08,216 --> 01:22:10,218
Something's wrong.
1751
01:22:11,177 --> 01:22:12,429
God did this.
1752
01:22:12,512 --> 01:22:16,141
He gave us light, and then He took it away.
1753
01:22:16,224 --> 01:22:17,601
You hear that?
1754
01:22:17,684 --> 01:22:19,769
It's the soundtrack of us going insane.
1755
01:22:19,853 --> 01:22:22,689
Damn, I wish there was something
we could do to help him.
1756
01:22:23,732 --> 01:22:25,358
I know what we can do.
1757
01:22:34,200 --> 01:22:36,077
The fuckin' stench.
1758
01:22:49,883 --> 01:22:50,884
Jonah Hill?
1759
01:22:52,594 --> 01:22:53,928
Jonah?
1760
01:22:57,140 --> 01:22:58,516
Jonah Hill.
1761
01:22:58,600 --> 01:23:00,727
Jonah Hill is no more.
1762
01:23:01,978 --> 01:23:03,063
Demon?
1763
01:23:03,146 --> 01:23:04,981
Yes?
1764
01:23:05,065 --> 01:23:06,983
Fuck. That's not good.
1765
01:23:07,067 --> 01:23:08,360
That's not good.
1766
01:23:09,069 --> 01:23:10,654
Jay, you fool.
1767
01:23:10,737 --> 01:23:13,198
I say unto thee,
1768
01:23:13,740 --> 01:23:16,159
the power of Christ compels you!
1769
01:23:16,242 --> 01:23:19,079
Does it? Does it compel me?
1770
01:23:19,162 --> 01:23:21,206
The power of Christ compels you!
1771
01:23:21,289 --> 01:23:24,292
- Does it, Jay?
- The power of Christ compels you!
1772
01:23:24,376 --> 01:23:26,419
Is the power of Christ compelling me?
Is that what's happening?
1773
01:23:26,503 --> 01:23:29,005
The power of Christ compels you!
1774
01:23:29,089 --> 01:23:31,508
Guess what? It's not that compelling.
1775
01:23:31,591 --> 01:23:33,760
Jay, you serious right now?
1776
01:23:33,843 --> 01:23:36,137
That's your fuckin' plan? You're gonna
repeat lines from The Exorcist?
1777
01:23:36,221 --> 01:23:38,390
I would assume
they did their fuckin' research.
1778
01:23:38,473 --> 01:23:40,350
- It's a movie!
- It's a manual.
1779
01:23:40,433 --> 01:23:41,768
It's a fuckin' training manual.
1780
01:23:44,229 --> 01:23:45,689
I say unto thee,
1781
01:23:45,980 --> 01:23:48,441
the power of Christ compels you!
1782
01:23:48,525 --> 01:23:50,735
The power of Christ compels you!
1783
01:23:51,569 --> 01:23:53,738
The power of Christ compels you!
1784
01:23:53,822 --> 01:23:56,700
Geez, it hurts a little bit.
It's, like, this little sting.
1785
01:23:56,783 --> 01:23:59,202
The power of Christ compels you!
1786
01:23:59,285 --> 01:24:02,956
- Seriously, fuck off.
- The power of Christ compels you!
1787
01:24:05,250 --> 01:24:06,626
Jay?
1788
01:24:06,835 --> 01:24:09,587
- The power of Christ compels you!
- Holy shit!
1789
01:24:09,671 --> 01:24:11,256
- You're pissing him off, man.
- Just stop it!
1790
01:24:11,339 --> 01:24:13,133
- Jay!
- The power of Christ compels you!
1791
01:24:15,635 --> 01:24:17,470
- The power of...
- Get the fuck down!
1792
01:24:17,554 --> 01:24:19,597
- Don't fucking push me, asshole!
- Geez, man!
1793
01:24:19,681 --> 01:24:20,682
- Easy!
- Fuck You!
1794
01:24:20,765 --> 01:24:22,934
- You're a fucking asshole, you liar!
- Still?
1795
01:24:23,017 --> 01:24:25,562
- Yes. Still? Yes.
- Guys, guys, we got a possessed guy here!
1796
01:24:25,645 --> 01:24:27,285
Do we have to argue about this right now?
1797
01:24:27,313 --> 01:24:29,899
- Let 'em fight.
- We got an exorcism to finish. Hello?
1798
01:24:29,983 --> 01:24:31,234
Do you want to know
why I didn't stay with you?
1799
01:24:31,317 --> 01:24:32,861
- Yeah.
- You fuckin' changed.
1800
01:24:32,944 --> 01:24:35,822
You're a fuckin' sell-out.
1801
01:24:35,905 --> 01:24:38,158
You did fuckin' sell out. Everyone says.
1802
01:24:38,241 --> 01:24:42,078
At least I did change! You act like
you're fucking 18 years old still, Jay!
1803
01:24:42,162 --> 01:24:44,497
Grow up, Jay. That's why
he's yelling at you.
1804
01:24:44,581 --> 01:24:46,624
You've been holding me back
this whole time!
1805
01:24:46,708 --> 01:24:48,293
That means fuck you.
1806
01:24:48,376 --> 01:24:50,420
Come on, guys! Come on!
1807
01:24:51,755 --> 01:24:53,757
Fuck you, you piece of shit!
1808
01:24:57,135 --> 01:24:58,303
Everybody, out!
1809
01:24:58,386 --> 01:24:59,637
Craig, stop 'em!
1810
01:24:59,721 --> 01:25:01,514
- Get apart!
- Now it's on.
1811
01:25:01,598 --> 01:25:04,017
Yo! What the fuck is all this, Franco?
1812
01:25:05,310 --> 01:25:06,936
Looks like food. How'd that get there?
1813
01:25:07,020 --> 01:25:09,397
What? You have more food?
1814
01:25:09,481 --> 01:25:10,690
You knew he had extra food?
1815
01:25:10,774 --> 01:25:12,484
Yeah, he gave me one cracker.
1816
01:25:12,567 --> 01:25:14,110
I would have sucked a
dick for half a cracker.
1817
01:25:14,194 --> 01:25:16,488
All right, well, maybe I didn't want you
to suck my dick, all right?
1818
01:25:16,571 --> 01:25:17,739
- Look...
- I didn't want to suck it!
1819
01:25:17,822 --> 01:25:19,449
- That's the point of what I said!
- It was my fucking food!
1820
01:25:19,532 --> 01:25:21,659
- Guys, guys, guys, fire!
- Boys, boys, boys...
1821
01:25:21,743 --> 01:25:23,745
- Shit!
- Jonah's on fire!
1822
01:25:29,542 --> 01:25:30,877
Put it out!
1823
01:25:30,960 --> 01:25:32,378
Use your mouth! Put it out!
1824
01:25:41,262 --> 01:25:42,722
Go, go, go, go, 90!
1825
01:25:51,731 --> 01:25:53,191
- Where is he? Where is he?
- Where is he?
1826
01:25:53,274 --> 01:25:54,442
Go, go, go!
1827
01:25:57,028 --> 01:25:58,655
Go, go, go, go, 90!
1828
01:25:58,738 --> 01:26:00,490
Go, get outside!
1829
01:26:00,573 --> 01:26:03,576
- Shit, shit, shit, shit, shit, shit!
- Go, go on!
1830
01:26:03,660 --> 01:26:05,703
Come on, hurry up, he's coming!
1831
01:26:05,787 --> 01:26:07,497
He's coming!
1832
01:26:20,635 --> 01:26:22,262
Watch out, watch out!
1833
01:26:22,637 --> 01:26:24,973
Oh, my fortress!
1834
01:26:25,890 --> 01:26:28,726
Boys, I just want to point out,
1835
01:26:28,810 --> 01:26:30,270
we're out in the open now.
1836
01:26:31,020 --> 01:26:32,105
- Oh, fuck.
- Shit, shit, shit.
1837
01:26:32,188 --> 01:26:34,357
- Oh, shit.
- Hey, hey, hey.
1838
01:26:34,440 --> 01:26:35,567
- My Prius.
- Yeah!
1839
01:26:35,650 --> 01:26:37,443
- Yeah!
- Yes!
1840
01:26:40,613 --> 01:26:41,698
What is that?
1841
01:26:42,448 --> 01:26:44,450
No fucking way.
1842
01:26:45,410 --> 01:26:46,536
We're screwed!
1843
01:26:46,619 --> 01:26:49,080
We're totally screwed, guys.
1844
01:26:51,916 --> 01:26:52,917
I got this.
1845
01:26:53,001 --> 01:26:54,544
- What?
- I'll distract the thing.
1846
01:26:54,627 --> 01:26:56,588
I'll run over there screaming and shit,
1847
01:26:56,671 --> 01:27:00,300
and that should give you enough time
to get to the garage.
1848
01:27:00,383 --> 01:27:02,010
Well, yeah, but that thing can kill you.
1849
01:27:02,093 --> 01:27:05,471
Maybe I deserve it.
I've been shitty my whole life.
1850
01:27:05,555 --> 01:27:07,807
Being selfish, only doing shit for me.
1851
01:27:07,891 --> 01:27:10,184
Maybe it's only right
that the last thing I do
1852
01:27:10,268 --> 01:27:13,354
on this planet isn't for me.
1853
01:27:13,605 --> 01:27:14,856
It's for you guys.
1854
01:27:14,939 --> 01:27:16,649
Craig, you don't have to do that.
1855
01:27:16,733 --> 01:27:18,026
Thank you very much, Craig.
1856
01:27:18,109 --> 01:27:19,861
- I appreciate that.
- You spineless...
1857
01:27:20,612 --> 01:27:22,530
I love you guys.
1858
01:27:22,739 --> 01:27:24,365
You're my best friends.
1859
01:27:24,449 --> 01:27:26,451
You're a real mensch, Craig.
1860
01:27:26,534 --> 01:27:28,703
See you on the other side.
1861
01:27:33,207 --> 01:27:36,336
Hey, hey, asshole! Hey, come on!
1862
01:27:36,419 --> 01:27:38,463
Pickle dick, demonic-looking motherfucker.
1863
01:27:38,546 --> 01:27:40,673
Nobody's scared of you.
You ain't a raccoon!
1864
01:27:40,757 --> 01:27:42,550
Yeah, bring your ass, bitch!
1865
01:27:42,634 --> 01:27:45,511
Nobody's scared of you!
I'm Craig fucking Robinson!
1866
01:27:45,720 --> 01:27:46,846
Yeah.
1867
01:27:46,930 --> 01:27:48,097
- What's he gonna do?
- Craig.
1868
01:27:48,181 --> 01:27:53,144
I hope you like big dick, motherfucker,
'cause I'm about to fuck you raw!
1869
01:27:53,227 --> 01:27:55,521
For the last goddamn time!
1870
01:27:56,022 --> 01:27:57,649
Take your panties off!
1871
01:28:08,493 --> 01:28:10,119
Fuck, yeah!
1872
01:28:12,497 --> 01:28:13,456
It worked.
1873
01:28:13,539 --> 01:28:15,041
What's happening?
1874
01:28:15,124 --> 01:28:17,126
Craig! Craig!
1875
01:28:30,098 --> 01:28:33,184
Holy shit, do you guys
realize what this means?
1876
01:28:33,267 --> 01:28:34,868
That Craig was an angel this whole time?
1877
01:28:34,894 --> 01:28:37,772
- No, no, it means we can still be saved.
- No, no.
1878
01:28:39,732 --> 01:28:42,610
I don't fucking get it,
why does Craig get saved? I mean...
1879
01:28:42,694 --> 01:28:46,948
Craig sacrificed himself for us,
which means that there's still hope.
1880
01:28:47,031 --> 01:28:48,825
- That means we can be redeemed.
- Yeah.
1881
01:28:48,908 --> 01:28:50,660
It means that if we're
actually nice to each other,
1882
01:28:50,743 --> 01:28:53,538
we can get sucked up into Heaven, too.
That's the deal.
1883
01:28:53,621 --> 01:28:55,331
All right, I got it, let's just head out
1884
01:28:55,415 --> 01:28:57,667
- to my place in Malibu.
- Yeah.
1885
01:28:57,750 --> 01:29:00,920
Just survive long enough
until we do enough good things
1886
01:29:01,004 --> 01:29:03,047
and they accumulate
or do enough sacrifices,
1887
01:29:03,131 --> 01:29:04,257
and we'll all go to Heaven together.
1888
01:29:04,340 --> 01:29:06,300
That's a great idea, James.
1889
01:29:06,384 --> 01:29:08,052
Seriously, really, really good idea.
1890
01:29:08,136 --> 01:29:09,971
Really, you're such a smart guy.
1891
01:29:10,054 --> 01:29:12,098
Thanks, Seth, you're such a nice guy.
1892
01:29:12,390 --> 01:29:13,391
You got a great smile.
1893
01:29:13,474 --> 01:29:15,184
- Thanks, man.
- And an awesome laugh.
1894
01:29:15,268 --> 01:29:17,270
- I've heard it's annoying.
- How about that Jay back there, man?
1895
01:29:17,353 --> 01:29:18,938
- Dude, Jay, you kidding me? Come on.
- Come on.
1896
01:29:19,022 --> 01:29:20,383
- One of a kind.
- Get out of here.
1897
01:29:20,398 --> 01:29:23,151
You got a cool body. You can walk around
with your shirt off anytime.
1898
01:29:23,234 --> 01:29:24,861
It's not working, this isn't working.
1899
01:29:24,944 --> 01:29:26,785
What, you thought we would be
Raptured already?
1900
01:29:26,863 --> 01:29:27,905
I thought it would happen already.
1901
01:29:27,989 --> 01:29:29,115
No, we've just been talking nice.
1902
01:29:29,198 --> 01:29:31,075
Talking nice doesn't get you into Heaven.
1903
01:29:31,159 --> 01:29:33,286
Doesn't hurt to smile...
1904
01:29:35,913 --> 01:29:36,914
What the fuck?
1905
01:29:36,998 --> 01:29:38,332
You guys Okay?
1906
01:29:38,416 --> 01:29:40,126
- Oh, shit.
- Christ.
1907
01:29:50,344 --> 01:29:51,804
- Franco!
- Come on!
1908
01:29:54,724 --> 01:29:56,350
Yo, cut his fucking head off!
1909
01:29:56,434 --> 01:29:58,853
What's going on?
1910
01:29:58,936 --> 01:30:00,897
No!
1911
01:30:00,980 --> 01:30:02,190
- Stop!
- No!
1912
01:30:19,707 --> 01:30:22,168
- Danny?
- What the fuck?
1913
01:30:22,251 --> 01:30:24,545
- You guys are still alive?
- Yeah.
1914
01:30:24,629 --> 01:30:26,714
Holy shit, I didn't expect that.
1915
01:30:26,798 --> 01:30:28,716
Fuck out here.
1916
01:30:29,634 --> 01:30:30,718
Get...
1917
01:30:30,802 --> 01:30:32,553
- Shit, I can't believe you guys are here.
- Oh, Jesus.
1918
01:30:32,637 --> 01:30:36,390
That's fucking crazy,
and your timing couldn't be more perfect.
1919
01:30:36,766 --> 01:30:39,352
It's been a long time
since any of us have eaten,
1920
01:30:39,435 --> 01:30:42,230
and you three gentlemen look delicious.
1921
01:30:42,313 --> 01:30:45,358
- What does that have to do with us?
- The fuck are you talking about?
1922
01:30:45,441 --> 01:30:47,110
I'm a cannibal, hombre.
1923
01:30:47,193 --> 01:30:48,986
We're gonna fucking eat your ass.
1924
01:30:49,070 --> 01:30:50,655
Fuck you, you can't eat us. Fuck that, man.
1925
01:30:50,738 --> 01:30:53,574
I do whatever the fuck I want, when I want.
1926
01:30:53,658 --> 01:30:55,243
I butt-fucked this dude.
1927
01:30:56,410 --> 01:30:57,411
See that?
1928
01:30:57,495 --> 01:30:59,080
I fucking slide right in that shit.
1929
01:30:59,163 --> 01:31:01,916
I do whatever I want. This is my gimp.
1930
01:31:01,999 --> 01:31:03,543
Channing, introduce yourself.
1931
01:31:03,835 --> 01:31:04,919
Hey, what's up, guys?
1932
01:31:05,002 --> 01:31:06,420
Y'all cool?
1933
01:31:06,504 --> 01:31:07,922
That's Channing Tatum.
1934
01:31:08,005 --> 01:31:09,757
That's Channing Tatum, dude.
What the fuck?
1935
01:31:09,841 --> 01:31:11,968
Channing fucking Tatum.
I found him wandering on the freeway.
1936
01:31:12,051 --> 01:31:14,720
I collected him, made him my bitch.
Get off my dick.
1937
01:31:14,804 --> 01:31:17,640
I call him Channing Tate-yum.
1938
01:31:17,723 --> 01:31:19,976
- Hard-core, man.
- I got him trained good.
1939
01:31:20,059 --> 01:31:21,699
Watch, he does tricks. Wait, shake hands.
1940
01:31:21,769 --> 01:31:24,272
- All right, Seth.
- Fucking roll over.
1941
01:31:24,355 --> 01:31:25,875
- I'm gonna create a diversion.
- Yeah.
1942
01:31:25,940 --> 01:31:27,817
- You and Jay make a run for it.
- What?
1943
01:31:27,900 --> 01:31:29,443
Danny's gonna eat you.
1944
01:31:29,527 --> 01:31:32,530
Listen, full-on sacrifice for you, dawg,
1945
01:31:32,613 --> 01:31:34,653
- like the ending to Pineapple 2.
- Yeah, lick that.
1946
01:31:34,699 --> 01:31:37,869
- That's Channing fucking Tatum, dawg.
- I love him.
1947
01:31:37,952 --> 01:31:40,413
That's fucking G.I.Joe, dude.
Fucking loves me.
1948
01:31:41,247 --> 01:31:43,749
Danny! We're friends! You can't eat us!
1949
01:31:43,833 --> 01:31:48,379
I'd love to catch up,
but we're fucking starving, so let's eat!
1950
01:31:48,462 --> 01:31:49,547
FUCK you!
1951
01:31:51,299 --> 01:31:52,717
Run!
1952
01:31:54,969 --> 01:31:56,012
Eat this!
1953
01:31:56,846 --> 01:31:59,515
Shit, fuck! Get him!
1954
01:32:00,766 --> 01:32:03,352
- Who wants it, you piece of shit?
- Man, we should go back.
1955
01:32:03,436 --> 01:32:05,556
- We should go back and help him.
- We should go back.
1956
01:32:08,649 --> 01:32:09,692
Fucking Rapture.
1957
01:32:09,775 --> 01:32:11,777
- Holy shit!
- It worked!
1958
01:32:16,324 --> 01:32:17,742
What the fuck?
1959
01:32:17,825 --> 01:32:20,161
Go to hell, McBride!
1960
01:32:20,244 --> 01:32:21,829
FUCK you!
1961
01:32:23,831 --> 01:32:25,750
Suck my dick!
1962
01:32:30,213 --> 01:32:31,839
- Oh, shit.
- What happened?
1963
01:32:31,923 --> 01:32:34,091
What did I do? Take me back!
1964
01:32:34,175 --> 01:32:36,336
- What did I do?
- I'll tell you what happened, Franco.
1965
01:32:36,344 --> 01:32:41,807
You don't get to get sucked up into Heaven
'cause you were being petty. Tom Petty.
1966
01:32:41,891 --> 01:32:43,809
You may not have invited me to your party,
1967
01:32:44,602 --> 01:32:47,313
- but you're the guest of honor at mine.
- What?
1968
01:32:50,858 --> 01:32:52,151
How fucking crazy is this?
1969
01:32:56,280 --> 01:32:57,990
Seth, Jay!
1970
01:32:58,074 --> 01:32:59,700
Oh, shit, they're running after us.
1971
01:32:59,784 --> 01:33:02,495
Oh, shit! Oh, shit! Oh, shit! Run.
1972
01:33:02,578 --> 01:33:04,038
Bring them to me!
1973
01:33:04,121 --> 01:33:06,499
- Fuck.
- Get 'em!
1974
01:33:06,999 --> 01:33:08,834
Got to get Rogen.
1975
01:33:10,169 --> 01:33:11,170
Over here.
1976
01:33:11,254 --> 01:33:13,005
- What? Over here, over here.
- Here. What?
1977
01:33:13,089 --> 01:33:15,841
Shit, shit.
1978
01:33:16,509 --> 01:33:18,386
They're around here somewhere.
1979
01:33:18,469 --> 01:33:20,304
They kept running, you fucking idiots.
1980
01:33:20,805 --> 01:33:22,390
Shit, are they still there?
1981
01:33:22,473 --> 01:33:24,034
- I think they're gone.
- Are they gone?
1982
01:33:24,058 --> 01:33:25,977
- Oh, my God.
- Why did Franco flip off Danny?
1983
01:33:26,060 --> 01:33:27,645
Why did he have to do that, man?
1984
01:33:27,728 --> 01:33:30,356
- He was in the clear.
- That is textbook.
1985
01:33:30,439 --> 01:33:31,941
Vanity or...
1986
01:33:32,024 --> 01:33:33,304
- Is it vanity?
- Vanity or envy.
1987
01:33:33,359 --> 01:33:34,735
Is it envy or wrath?
1988
01:33:34,819 --> 01:33:36,821
- It's any of them, man.
- You can't do that.
1989
01:33:36,904 --> 01:33:38,505
It's being a sore winner, is what it is,
1990
01:33:38,572 --> 01:33:39,865
- more than anything.
- That's exactly what it is.
1991
01:33:39,949 --> 01:33:41,310
- You can't be a sore winner.
- No.
1992
01:33:41,742 --> 01:33:45,538
Well, this is another fine mess
we found ourselves in.
1993
01:33:48,916 --> 01:33:50,084
Fuck.
1994
01:33:50,501 --> 01:33:51,711
Listen, Jay...
1995
01:33:52,253 --> 01:33:53,671
Oh, shit.
1996
01:33:55,756 --> 01:33:57,925
Get out of here, let's get out of here.
1997
01:34:02,221 --> 01:34:05,391
You've got to be fucking shitting me!
1998
01:34:05,558 --> 01:34:07,393
- Oh, my God.
- Oh, no.
1999
01:34:07,476 --> 01:34:09,186
- Oh, my God.
- Oh, no.
2000
01:34:09,270 --> 01:34:11,689
- That thing's big.
- Holy shit.
2001
01:34:11,772 --> 01:34:13,024
It's so big.
2002
01:34:13,107 --> 01:34:16,986
Oh, man. Oh, Jesus.
2003
01:34:25,202 --> 01:34:26,402
- We're gonna die, man.
- Okay.
2004
01:34:26,412 --> 01:34:27,496
Okay, we're gonna die.
2005
01:34:33,002 --> 01:34:34,920
- Jesus!
- Oh, no!
2006
01:34:40,593 --> 01:34:41,761
- Shit.
- Listen to me, man.
2007
01:34:41,844 --> 01:34:44,555
I'm a fucking idiot. I put myself up.
2008
01:34:44,638 --> 01:34:46,015
I'm self-righteous.
2009
01:34:46,098 --> 01:34:47,558
- I think I'm better than you.
- No, no.
2010
01:34:47,641 --> 01:34:48,851
I was resistant to change.
2011
01:34:48,934 --> 01:34:50,895
- No.
- I should have grown with you.
2012
01:34:50,978 --> 01:34:54,315
I should have changed with you.
We should have changed together.
2013
01:34:54,398 --> 01:34:57,777
I didn't like what I became
so I hated what you became.
2014
01:34:57,860 --> 01:34:59,653
It's fine, man. It's fine.
2015
01:34:59,737 --> 01:35:01,572
- I love you, Seth, fucking love you, buddy.
- I love you, man.
2016
01:35:01,655 --> 01:35:03,074
- I always loved you.
- Let's die together, man.
2017
01:35:03,157 --> 01:35:04,992
- Let's die together.
- I love you, Jay.
2018
01:35:15,753 --> 01:35:18,339
- Holy shit, Jay, all right!
- Yeah, we did it!
2019
01:35:18,422 --> 01:35:19,799
I'm not getting sucked up into Heaven!
2020
01:35:19,882 --> 01:35:21,092
What do you mean? Why not?
2021
01:35:21,175 --> 01:35:22,760
I don't know why not!
2022
01:35:22,843 --> 01:35:23,928
Take my hand!
2023
01:35:24,011 --> 01:35:25,221
Okay, take me with you, Jay!
2024
01:35:25,304 --> 01:35:26,889
I'll take you with me.
2025
01:35:28,557 --> 01:35:30,142
Yeah!
2026
01:35:34,146 --> 01:35:35,689
- Yeah!
- It's working!
2027
01:35:35,773 --> 01:35:36,982
Yeah!
2028
01:35:44,365 --> 01:35:46,909
Oh, no! He sees us!
2029
01:35:48,953 --> 01:35:51,247
He can't touch us!
2030
01:35:51,330 --> 01:35:52,915
We're in a force field!
2031
01:35:57,169 --> 01:35:59,672
Oh, shit! Shit!
2032
01:36:03,467 --> 01:36:05,094
It's not gonna take me with you!
2033
01:36:05,177 --> 01:36:06,262
We're going down!
2034
01:36:06,345 --> 01:36:09,265
Keep holding on
and you'll get pulled up, too!
2035
01:36:09,348 --> 01:36:11,267
It's not! No, I won't, man!
2036
01:36:11,350 --> 01:36:13,060
I don't deserve to.
2037
01:36:13,686 --> 01:36:14,895
Fuck.
2038
01:36:18,607 --> 01:36:19,817
I'm gonna let go, Jay.
2039
01:36:19,900 --> 01:36:21,026
You'll die!
2040
01:36:21,110 --> 01:36:23,571
I know, but you won't.
2041
01:36:23,654 --> 01:36:24,864
No!
2042
01:36:24,947 --> 01:36:27,867
I don't deserve to go
to Heaven, but you do.
2043
01:36:27,950 --> 01:36:29,368
You do, okay?
2044
01:36:29,452 --> 01:36:31,328
We're both gonna die if I don't let go.
2045
01:36:32,913 --> 01:36:35,249
I'm not gonna hold you back anymore.
2046
01:36:37,501 --> 01:36:39,003
No!
2047
01:36:46,552 --> 01:36:48,554
♪ And I...
2048
01:36:51,724 --> 01:36:54,852
♪ Will always love you
2049
01:36:55,561 --> 01:36:56,896
Yay!
2050
01:36:57,062 --> 01:36:59,106
♪ I will always...
2051
01:37:00,566 --> 01:37:02,735
♪ Love you...
2052
01:37:02,818 --> 01:37:07,740
♪ I will always love you
2053
01:37:12,328 --> 01:37:14,413
Yeah!
2054
01:37:14,914 --> 01:37:17,374
Come, hold my hand, buddy!
2055
01:37:17,458 --> 01:37:19,460
Hold my hand!
2056
01:37:19,543 --> 01:37:21,420
- Yeah!
- You did it!
2057
01:37:21,504 --> 01:37:23,088
- You did it!
- Yeah!
2058
01:37:23,172 --> 01:37:24,381
You did it!
2059
01:37:24,465 --> 01:37:26,800
Yeah!
2060
01:37:30,471 --> 01:37:32,431
We're flying!
2061
01:37:47,279 --> 01:37:50,658
♪ When I die
and they lay me to rest
2062
01:37:51,116 --> 01:37:54,453
♪ Gonna go to the place
that's the best
2063
01:37:54,828 --> 01:37:57,748
♪ When I lay me down to die
2064
01:37:57,831 --> 01:37:58,874
- Look!
- What?
2065
01:38:05,631 --> 01:38:07,508
Welcome to Heaven, motherfuckers.
2066
01:38:08,342 --> 01:38:10,010
Craig!
2067
01:38:11,637 --> 01:38:13,472
- Yay!
- Yeah!
2068
01:38:13,973 --> 01:38:15,432
- Craig.
- Oh, my...
2069
01:38:15,516 --> 01:38:17,685
- What?
- This is awesome.
2070
01:38:17,768 --> 01:38:19,436
- Are you an angel?
- Yes, sir.
2071
01:38:19,520 --> 01:38:21,021
- That's so cool, man.
- That is so cool.
2072
01:38:21,105 --> 01:38:22,690
Congratulations, dude.
2073
01:38:23,023 --> 01:38:24,024
Fellas.
2074
01:38:24,108 --> 01:38:25,859
- Yeah.
- Yes.
2075
01:38:26,235 --> 01:38:27,695
Dude, you got one.
2076
01:38:27,778 --> 01:38:28,821
- What?
- That's so cool.
2077
01:38:28,904 --> 01:38:29,989
- Do I have one?
- Do I have one?
2078
01:38:30,072 --> 01:38:31,312
- I can't see it.
- Do I have...
2079
01:38:31,323 --> 01:38:32,825
- Wait.
- Let's touch 'em.
2080
01:38:33,951 --> 01:38:35,327
Dude, this is so...
2081
01:38:35,411 --> 01:38:36,996
- What do we do now?
- Yeah.
2082
01:38:37,329 --> 01:38:38,330
Come this way.
2083
01:38:39,957 --> 01:38:42,543
♪ So you know that when you die
2084
01:38:43,043 --> 01:38:44,837
♪ He's gonna recommend you
2085
01:38:44,920 --> 01:38:46,755
♪ To the spirit in the sky
2086
01:38:48,340 --> 01:38:51,552
Right? Do you love it? Do you love it?
2087
01:38:52,219 --> 01:38:54,555
They got weed in Heaven?
2088
01:38:54,638 --> 01:38:56,432
- What?
- You tell me.
2089
01:38:57,016 --> 01:38:58,058
What?
2090
01:38:58,142 --> 01:39:01,103
Holy shit! That's awesome!
2091
01:39:04,982 --> 01:39:06,483
That's insane, man.
2092
01:39:06,567 --> 01:39:07,901
No, no, no, no, no, no.
2093
01:39:07,985 --> 01:39:10,613
That's Heaven.
Anything you could think of is yours.
2094
01:39:14,074 --> 01:39:16,785
Holy shit, this is awesome.
2095
01:39:16,869 --> 01:39:17,911
Segway!
2096
01:39:17,995 --> 01:39:19,663
I've always wanted to ride
one of these things.
2097
01:39:19,747 --> 01:39:21,957
Go ahead, Jay, make a wish.
2098
01:39:22,041 --> 01:39:23,162
Anything you could think of.
2099
01:39:23,709 --> 01:39:25,044
Anything?
2100
01:39:33,385 --> 01:39:34,386
What?
2101
01:39:35,638 --> 01:39:37,640
No fucking way.
2102
01:39:37,723 --> 01:39:39,224
♪ Everybody
2103
01:39:39,308 --> 01:39:41,477
♪ Rock your body right
2104
01:39:43,312 --> 01:39:44,813
♪ Backstreet's back
2105
01:39:44,897 --> 01:39:46,231
All right
2106
01:39:50,736 --> 01:39:52,237
♪ Hey, yeah
2107
01:39:54,448 --> 01:39:57,159
♪ Oh, my God, we're back again
2108
01:39:58,911 --> 01:40:01,705
♪ Brothers, sisters,
everybody sing
2109
01:40:03,040 --> 01:40:06,085
♪ Gonna bring the flavor
show you how
2110
01:40:07,586 --> 01:40:11,590
♪ Gotta question for you
better answer now, yeah
2111
01:40:11,715 --> 01:40:14,301
♪ Am I original?
2112
01:40:14,510 --> 01:40:15,761
♪ Yeah
2113
01:40:15,886 --> 01:40:18,555
♪ Am I the only one?
2114
01:40:18,931 --> 01:40:20,391
♪ Yeah
2115
01:40:20,474 --> 01:40:23,268
♪ Am I sexual?
2116
01:40:23,394 --> 01:40:24,978
♪ Yeah
2117
01:40:25,312 --> 01:40:27,147
♪ Am I everything you need?
2118
01:40:27,231 --> 01:40:29,525
♪ You better rock your body now
2119
01:40:29,608 --> 01:40:32,111
♪ Everybody
2120
01:40:32,194 --> 01:40:33,862
♪ Yeah
2121
01:40:33,946 --> 01:40:36,532
♪ Rock your body
2122
01:40:36,782 --> 01:40:38,325
♪ Yeah
2123
01:40:38,409 --> 01:40:41,036
♪ Everybody
2124
01:40:41,120 --> 01:40:43,872
♪ Rock your body right
2125
01:40:45,541 --> 01:40:48,419
♪ Backstreet's back, all right
2126
01:40:51,630 --> 01:40:53,215
♪ All right
2127
01:40:54,383 --> 01:40:57,136
♪ Backstreet's back, all right