1
00:01:09,028 --> 00:01:10,495
Pretty impressive..... huh?
2
00:01:10,989 --> 00:01:14,847
People tend to think of me
as that, uh, environmental nut.
3
00:01:15,100 --> 00:01:16,829
But whenever I get down,
to work they say
4
00:01:16,902 --> 00:01:19,937
"Mother nature, you're
such a destructive bitch!"
5
00:01:19,939 --> 00:01:22,100
Well, what you see
as disasters,
6
00:01:22,141 --> 00:01:25,557
I see as laying the groundwork
for the next generation.
7
00:01:25,644 --> 00:01:28,818
You have to grow the new food,
for the new animals...
8
00:01:29,014 --> 00:01:30,402
The big ones eat
the small ones,
9
00:01:30,402 --> 00:01:32,537
and on top of the food chain
are the humans.
10
00:01:32,537 --> 00:01:34,688
Who used to be
very grateful.
11
00:01:34,854 --> 00:01:36,082
And it was working
just fine.
12
00:01:36,121 --> 00:01:40,216
Until one self-centered
generation came along.
13
00:01:40,359 --> 00:01:41,972
The baby-boomers.
14
00:01:42,161 --> 00:01:44,928
And these pampered
post-war pinheads
15
00:01:44,928 --> 00:01:47,556
thought that they could
just breeze through life,
16
00:01:47,556 --> 00:01:50,109
doing whatever the hell
they wanted.
17
00:01:50,169 --> 00:01:51,694
For instance...
18
00:01:51,971 --> 00:01:53,563
When the men would
normally go to war,
19
00:01:53,754 --> 00:01:56,158
you know, all this male aggression
serves a purpose.
20
00:01:56,159 --> 00:01:57,768
It keeps the herd strong.
21
00:01:57,791 --> 00:02:00,836
But these guys said
"I don't like this particular war."
22
00:02:00,880 --> 00:02:02,480
"I think I'll stay home."
23
00:02:02,618 --> 00:02:05,795
And when it was time for the...
women to stop jerkin' around
24
00:02:05,795 --> 00:02:07,553
and start having babies,
they said
25
00:02:07,682 --> 00:02:09,547
"We wanna get our careers
going first.
26
00:02:09,547 --> 00:02:11,262
"Babies could wait till later."
27
00:02:11,448 --> 00:02:13,334
They grew up to be
obsessed with money
28
00:02:13,334 --> 00:02:16,199
and accumulated
useless possessions.
29
00:02:16,234 --> 00:02:19,507
Did they care that they were
depleting natural resources,
30
00:02:19,508 --> 00:02:23,070
and polluting the water,
and ripping holes in the frickin' sky?
31
00:02:23,102 --> 00:02:24,806
But I got them now.
32
00:02:25,137 --> 00:02:27,623
Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah.
Cause now... now...
33
00:02:27,706 --> 00:02:29,432
They're gonna get old. Ohh!
34
00:02:29,708 --> 00:02:30,697
They're not gonna like it.
35
00:02:30,743 --> 00:02:33,007
They're gonna be
"Oh, I, oh, I don't wanna waddle."
36
00:02:33,045 --> 00:02:36,166
They're taking bits off their ass,
they're puttin' it in their face.
37
00:02:36,166 --> 00:02:38,610
It's not natural.
It's not natural.
38
00:02:38,651 --> 00:02:41,983
And they're gonna say "Oh, no, no,
see, we do not wanna get old. No.
39
00:02:41,984 --> 00:02:45,084
"We wanna stay young forever.
Forever and ever." And...
40
00:02:45,157 --> 00:02:48,040
You know what I'm gonna say to 'em?
You know what I say to 'em?
41
00:02:48,075 --> 00:02:50,223
Tough... shit!
42
00:02:51,720 --> 00:03:12,154
Subtitles by demonseye
43
00:04:08,954 --> 00:04:10,936
Here's a pal of mine
in her 40's,
44
00:04:11,136 --> 00:04:13,902
trying to moisturize
her way back to 30.
45
00:04:14,833 --> 00:04:18,945
But unfortunately her ex-husband
found himself a wife in her 20's.
46
00:04:18,946 --> 00:04:20,808
- Hi, mom!
- Where were you guys?
47
00:04:20,808 --> 00:04:24,385
We went all the way to Malibu and
dropped Sara off at Gail's house.
48
00:04:24,433 --> 00:04:27,133
And then went to Beverly Hills
to drop off Glen.
49
00:04:27,226 --> 00:04:29,574
But they said they'd
rather have their own kids.
50
00:04:29,595 --> 00:04:31,920
Yeah, I forgot which kid
went with which one.
51
00:04:31,939 --> 00:04:34,727
How 'bout oldest kid with
oldest mom and work down from there.
52
00:04:39,744 --> 00:04:40,967
What happened
to your head?
53
00:04:41,240 --> 00:04:43,524
Oh, I had to have
some plugs removed
54
00:04:43,525 --> 00:04:47,284
because the hairs were growing
into my head, instead of out of it.
55
00:04:48,199 --> 00:04:49,189
Where you going
with that?
56
00:04:49,748 --> 00:04:50,448
What?
57
00:04:50,750 --> 00:04:53,212
Oh, I... This is mine.
I got it in Pasadena.
58
00:04:53,213 --> 00:04:56,346
No. And you didn't have your wallet,
as usual, so I bought it.
59
00:04:56,347 --> 00:04:58,979
Because I was wearing sweatpants.
I don't have pockets.
60
00:04:59,043 --> 00:05:02,360
For someone who never exercises,
you're always in sweat suits.
61
00:05:02,361 --> 00:05:05,246
Like wearing workout clothes
will make you in shape.
62
00:05:05,247 --> 00:05:07,587
Well, do you think wearing
"Doc Martins" will...
63
00:05:07,587 --> 00:05:08,630
make you a teenager?
64
00:05:08,630 --> 00:05:10,562
Oh, I don't know. Do you think
wearing you're hat backwards
65
00:05:10,563 --> 00:05:12,825
will make you look
more mature?
66
00:05:14,513 --> 00:05:17,183
Well, do-do you think
wearing a sleeveless, uh-uh, T-shirt
67
00:05:17,183 --> 00:05:18,841
makes you... look
like a big bull-dike?
68
00:05:19,985 --> 00:05:22,110
Izzie says you've just been
writing all weekend?
69
00:05:22,110 --> 00:05:24,033
- Mm-hmm.
- No dates?
70
00:05:24,083 --> 00:05:26,578
- No prospects on the horizon?
- No.
71
00:05:27,001 --> 00:05:28,904
Oh, Rosie, you've got
to get over me.
72
00:05:29,076 --> 00:05:30,443
I'm only human.
73
00:05:32,171 --> 00:05:33,160
You know what, Rosie?
74
00:05:33,674 --> 00:05:36,516
You shouldn't be alone.
I'm gonna fix you up with somebody.
75
00:05:36,893 --> 00:05:38,993
- You've kept your looks.
- Thanks.
76
00:05:39,194 --> 00:05:42,157
Ma, he got the
"Welcome Back Kotter" game.
77
00:05:45,119 --> 00:05:48,743
- Lindsay, I love you.
- Oh, thank you, Orlando.
78
00:05:48,887 --> 00:05:51,325
Hey, you said
you loved me!
79
00:05:51,338 --> 00:05:52,414
He never said that!
80
00:05:52,415 --> 00:05:55,385
And wearing a wedding dress
isn't gonna change his mind.
81
00:05:55,610 --> 00:05:58,066
But you do!
I know you do!
82
00:05:58,646 --> 00:06:00,777
Orlando, let's go to the beach.
83
00:06:00,778 --> 00:06:02,420
Hey! Get away! He's mine!
84
00:06:02,545 --> 00:06:04,461
He says
you have an ugly body.
85
00:06:04,561 --> 00:06:09,027
It's exactly the same as yours.
And that dress is so ghetto.
86
00:06:09,764 --> 00:06:10,655
What's that mean?
87
00:06:11,414 --> 00:06:14,153
Oh, well, in school if
something's cheesy, we call it ghetto.
88
00:06:14,251 --> 00:06:16,734
But, honey, that's like making
fun of the underprivileged.
89
00:06:16,736 --> 00:06:19,852
Like... you know, naming ugly clothes
after their neighborhood.
90
00:06:19,905 --> 00:06:21,063
Hey, I didn't make it up.
91
00:06:21,500 --> 00:06:23,273
Leaves my man alone!
92
00:06:23,373 --> 00:06:25,498
I think you're really nice.
You wanna go swimming?
93
00:06:25,803 --> 00:06:27,578
Why's she suddenly
so happy?
94
00:06:27,639 --> 00:06:29,068
She is manic-depressive.
95
00:06:29,538 --> 00:06:31,664
Hey, ma, how do you know
when it's true love?
96
00:06:31,840 --> 00:06:36,089
Usually... you make the music louder,
and you can move in on 'em.
97
00:06:36,090 --> 00:06:38,591
Or some times they look up
in slow motion.
98
00:06:38,672 --> 00:06:40,581
No, on TV, in real life.
99
00:06:41,121 --> 00:06:42,164
In real life?
100
00:06:44,491 --> 00:06:47,498
Izz, why is there a Ken doll
in the heat vent?
101
00:06:47,540 --> 00:06:49,936
Oh, remember when you had
Alzheimer's and you wandered off?
102
00:06:51,664 --> 00:06:54,229
You know, I'm starting to not care
so much about Barbies.
103
00:06:54,541 --> 00:06:56,293
But she's just getting
her life together.
104
00:06:56,294 --> 00:06:59,625
She's got a jeep, she-she's got
a horse, a recording studio...
105
00:06:59,626 --> 00:07:02,841
Yeah, but, you know,
it's make-believe, it's not satisfying.
106
00:07:06,297 --> 00:07:08,141
You've been doggin' me
all week, dog.
107
00:07:09,611 --> 00:07:12,023
Doggin' me all week... dude.
108
00:07:12,580 --> 00:07:14,385
Brother... Gee...
109
00:07:15,089 --> 00:07:16,846
- Izzie?
- What?
110
00:07:16,847 --> 00:07:18,676
Do people still say "Gee"?
111
00:07:18,677 --> 00:07:23,062
Sure. Today I said
"Gee, I can't wait for lunch."
112
00:07:25,847 --> 00:07:29,044
Dog, don't go fronting like
you didn't blow on your cheddar...
113
00:07:29,045 --> 00:07:31,664
... smokes so you can roll
with Flynn and his peeps. I'm...
114
00:07:32,037 --> 00:07:33,353
You know he just playin' you.
115
00:07:33,453 --> 00:07:35,508
I think you really
need to step off that.
116
00:07:35,608 --> 00:07:38,072
Just remember me and
Ross are your real blood.
117
00:07:38,437 --> 00:07:41,078
We don't have to smoke
mad trees to think you all that.
118
00:07:43,288 --> 00:07:43,988
Wait!
119
00:07:46,348 --> 00:07:48,593
You're right.
I been trippin'.
120
00:07:48,912 --> 00:07:50,996
You know there's no one
I'd rather roll with.
121
00:07:57,810 --> 00:07:59,455
Cut! Great!
122
00:08:00,773 --> 00:08:03,334
Was there too much slang,
you know, for the emotion?
123
00:08:03,335 --> 00:08:05,855
I liked that bit about
smoking the mad trees.
124
00:08:06,674 --> 00:08:08,920
You were good.
You gave me a lot.
125
00:08:09,281 --> 00:08:11,023
You were good.
You gave him a lot.
126
00:08:11,093 --> 00:08:12,090
It's really coming out.
127
00:08:12,270 --> 00:08:14,504
- So good.
- Hey, hey, drop off your phones.
128
00:08:14,505 --> 00:08:16,769
- Marty needs to see Rosie.
- Wow.
129
00:08:17,626 --> 00:08:18,326
You got it.
130
00:08:18,327 --> 00:08:19,628
This is so cute.
Where did you get this?
131
00:08:19,629 --> 00:08:21,679
Sorry, Rosie, president of comedy
needs to see you.
132
00:08:21,680 --> 00:08:24,303
- Oh, okay.
- Bye. Bye
133
00:08:24,649 --> 00:08:25,717
Hey, let's go find mommy.
134
00:08:29,706 --> 00:08:31,437
Bowling is so 8-1-8.
135
00:08:32,049 --> 00:08:34,359
And these balls
are so heavy.
136
00:08:34,370 --> 00:08:36,335
- There.
- Where?
137
00:08:36,766 --> 00:08:38,306
"The balls are so heavy"?
138
00:08:38,905 --> 00:08:40,200
Yeah, well,
their bowling balls.
139
00:08:40,465 --> 00:08:42,239
- It's an innuendo.
- Oh, come...
140
00:08:42,414 --> 00:08:44,855
It implies
she holds men's testicles.
141
00:08:44,914 --> 00:08:47,148
And rolls them
down a wooden lane.
142
00:08:47,307 --> 00:08:50,311
- Ah, just lose her.
- It's Jeannie, my secretary.
143
00:08:50,346 --> 00:08:52,775
- She'll be heartbroken.
- That's it for me.
144
00:08:53,906 --> 00:08:56,948
They make much dirtier jokes on
"Will And Grace" and "Housewives".
145
00:08:56,949 --> 00:08:58,437
You never
stand up to him.
146
00:08:58,457 --> 00:08:59,554
It's all a game.
147
00:08:59,698 --> 00:09:02,296
Are you developing
another talent contest show?
148
00:09:02,381 --> 00:09:04,718
- Where?
- New faces of 2006.
149
00:09:04,787 --> 00:09:07,350
Oh, that's
my plastic surgery show.
150
00:09:07,787 --> 00:09:10,070
You know, it's amazing
what they can suck out.
151
00:09:10,286 --> 00:09:13,449
He gets his eyes done, marries
a 28-year-old and. you know,
152
00:09:13,450 --> 00:09:16,612
he thinks he's suddenly
turned into a young hipster.
153
00:09:16,737 --> 00:09:19,563
Well, and you think maintaining
your high school weight
154
00:09:19,563 --> 00:09:20,579
makes you a cheerleader.
155
00:09:20,622 --> 00:09:21,622
You're both wrong.
156
00:09:22,062 --> 00:09:24,782
You can jump and peel
and nip and tuck,
157
00:09:25,027 --> 00:09:27,962
but your insides
are still rotting away.
158
00:09:28,243 --> 00:09:30,837
Hey, there's something new
to make over.
159
00:09:31,183 --> 00:09:32,739
Internal organs.
160
00:09:32,857 --> 00:09:34,748
Yeah, you can have
a liver lift.
161
00:09:34,749 --> 00:09:38,635
Hey, a pancreatic resurfacing
or... a colon peel.
162
00:09:38,657 --> 00:09:40,779
Yeah, botox
your ovaries, baby.
163
00:09:40,779 --> 00:09:43,344
Then you'll look young
in your X-rays.
164
00:09:46,413 --> 00:09:49,948
He's at Lakers games with
Cameron Diaz and Justin Timberlake.
165
00:09:50,048 --> 00:09:52,650
He's... trout fishing
with Norm MacDonald.
166
00:09:53,057 --> 00:09:55,876
I'm the one behind closed doors
all afternoon and who have I met?
167
00:09:56,531 --> 00:09:59,390
Yeah, I thought that meant secrets
from his wife, not the whole town.
168
00:10:00,588 --> 00:10:01,920
I'll talk to you later, ma.
169
00:10:02,619 --> 00:10:03,698
Anyone call?
170
00:10:04,039 --> 00:10:05,248
Look what I made
of Brianna.
171
00:10:06,214 --> 00:10:08,888
I already did Sean.
It's hilarious.
172
00:10:10,653 --> 00:10:13,787
Uh, we had to make some changes
to this week�s episode.
173
00:10:13,788 --> 00:10:16,217
Your line
in the bowling alley was cut.
174
00:10:16,808 --> 00:10:19,313
Oh... You have to do
what's better for the show.
175
00:10:19,314 --> 00:10:21,911
It was the censor.
He... thought you were too sexy.
176
00:10:22,954 --> 00:10:24,821
- I'm sorry.
- That's fine. Forget it.
177
00:10:24,881 --> 00:10:26,636
Okay. All right, well,
I'm gonna go get Izz.
178
00:10:26,636 --> 00:10:28,199
If anyone needs me,
I'm on my cell.
179
00:10:28,234 --> 00:10:28,827
Sure.
180
00:10:31,396 --> 00:10:32,931
- You go, girl.
- Hey, is Rosie there?
181
00:10:33,009 --> 00:10:34,095
No, you just missed her.
182
00:10:34,342 --> 00:10:36,241
She had an emergency
botox appointment.
183
00:10:36,517 --> 00:10:37,245
You're bad.
184
00:10:49,600 --> 00:10:53,296
No, Izzie, don't hover over Dylan.
Do something else.
185
00:10:56,334 --> 00:10:59,247
- Hi, Britney.
- That's it, talk to the girls, not him.
186
00:11:02,058 --> 00:11:02,758
Bitches!
187
00:11:04,562 --> 00:11:05,890
No. No, no, no, no.
188
00:11:06,579 --> 00:11:07,279
Izz!
189
00:11:08,163 --> 00:11:09,720
- Bye, Dylan.
- Yeah.
190
00:11:11,767 --> 00:11:12,467
Hey!
191
00:11:12,680 --> 00:11:15,540
- Ma, you know what happened today?
- What?
192
00:11:16,647 --> 00:11:19,542
I went to the bathroom
and there was this brownish spot,
193
00:11:19,543 --> 00:11:21,793
but it wasn't from
you-know-where.
194
00:11:22,225 --> 00:11:24,216
Honey, that's your period.
195
00:11:27,266 --> 00:11:31,533
Oh, congratulations, you're...
you're a woman!
196
00:11:31,681 --> 00:11:33,404
Let the games begin!
197
00:11:35,867 --> 00:11:39,528
Ma, what's better? Maxi pads
with wings for extra protection,
198
00:11:39,529 --> 00:11:41,942
or absorbent dry
and bulge your pants?
199
00:11:42,277 --> 00:11:43,637
How many light days
are there?
200
00:11:43,736 --> 00:11:45,499
Honey, you don't need
all this.
201
00:11:45,698 --> 00:11:47,273
- Can I have a Twix bar?
- Yeah.
202
00:11:51,116 --> 00:11:54,051
Oops, I got a career...
203
00:11:54,293 --> 00:11:58,724
by shaking my rear,
and making guys leer.
204
00:11:59,292 --> 00:12:03,655
Oh, baby, baby.
Oops, I'm gonna sing more,
205
00:12:04,025 --> 00:12:07,292
and dance like a whore.
206
00:12:07,566 --> 00:12:10,464
I'm just not talented.
207
00:12:10,661 --> 00:12:12,190
Izz, look what I found.
208
00:12:12,676 --> 00:12:14,299
They gave us these
in the sixth grade.
209
00:12:15,443 --> 00:12:16,143
See...
210
00:12:16,835 --> 00:12:18,268
It's Mindy Menstruation.
211
00:12:18,877 --> 00:12:22,074
Here she is staying clean.
And here she is eating right.
212
00:12:22,092 --> 00:12:23,383
Oh, I like
her hair better here.
213
00:12:23,470 --> 00:12:27,390
With her Modes pads, nobody knows
about the gusher between her legs.
214
00:12:28,186 --> 00:12:29,316
When can I have sex?
215
00:12:30,403 --> 00:12:34,345
Uhh... When you�
get your master's degree.
216
00:12:34,528 --> 00:12:35,620
No, come on, really.
217
00:12:35,737 --> 00:12:38,062
When you go to college.
E-eighteen.
218
00:12:38,641 --> 00:12:39,903
Ma, fifteen.
219
00:12:40,102 --> 00:12:40,802
No way!
220
00:12:41,233 --> 00:12:43,575
Maybe... seventeen.
221
00:12:43,701 --> 00:12:46,169
Ma, fifteen is
the new seventeen.
222
00:12:46,892 --> 00:12:49,498
Tonight, Yomena faces
a personal crisis
223
00:12:49,499 --> 00:12:51,370
on a very special
"You Go, Girl"
224
00:12:51,370 --> 00:12:53,966
that teens should watch
with their parents.
225
00:12:54,001 --> 00:12:55,784
Quick, call your mom.
226
00:13:03,203 --> 00:13:04,135
Izzie!
227
00:13:06,729 --> 00:13:09,165
It's not the music.
It's driving me crazy.
228
00:13:09,200 --> 00:13:11,618
- It's "Ape's Escape."
- Ma, it's Dylan's favorite game.
229
00:13:11,619 --> 00:13:14,078
I have to get good at it so
we'll have something in common.
230
00:13:14,122 --> 00:13:17,057
Oh, sounds like a
firm basis for a relationship.
231
00:13:17,111 --> 00:13:19,633
- Now, I'll walk you home.
- I have to sleep over.
232
00:13:19,929 --> 00:13:22,114
My father's shooting
the country music awards tonight.
233
00:13:22,169 --> 00:13:25,271
Just do something quiet so...
Izz can finish her homework.
234
00:13:33,758 --> 00:13:37,095
How the hell do you drop
two points from the "Candy Stripers"?
235
00:13:37,164 --> 00:13:38,815
From now on,
no more issues.
236
00:13:38,816 --> 00:13:42,901
No drugs, no teen pregnancies,
no... homosexuals.
237
00:13:43,110 --> 00:13:44,834
What about
the same sex prom date?
238
00:13:45,088 --> 00:13:47,836
Oh, yuck!
No homo stuff!
239
00:13:48,055 --> 00:13:50,639
Except maybe
an occasional lesbian kiss.
240
00:13:50,731 --> 00:13:54,760
But no eating disorders,
no... racial strife.
241
00:13:55,032 --> 00:13:58,493
Come on, let's get on it.
No more janky shows.
242
00:14:00,537 --> 00:14:02,077
Never heard that word,
did ya?
243
00:14:02,536 --> 00:14:05,601
We hired this consulting team.
The next thing they tell us...
244
00:14:06,111 --> 00:14:07,659
all the hot new trends.
245
00:14:07,939 --> 00:14:12,429
Okay, we drop the prom, we move up.
Boys make over the nerdy guy...
246
00:14:12,430 --> 00:14:14,736
No, no, that... that was
just a backup script.
247
00:14:14,924 --> 00:14:17,919
- Makeovers are big.
- Makeovers are so played out.
248
00:14:18,167 --> 00:14:20,232
Plastic surgery
makeovers, uh...
249
00:14:20,233 --> 00:14:22,565
queer makeovers, straight
make overs, house makeovers,
250
00:14:22,566 --> 00:14:24,933
car makeovers, there's
nothing more to say about it.
251
00:14:25,033 --> 00:14:26,125
You can do it.
252
00:14:26,524 --> 00:14:28,563
Let's make this show cronk.
253
00:14:28,765 --> 00:14:29,465
Groovy.
254
00:14:30,756 --> 00:14:33,397
Oh, and while
we're in full communicado
255
00:14:33,398 --> 00:14:36,038
I want you to incorporate
these into the show.
256
00:14:36,111 --> 00:14:38,567
We just covered their phones
with matching jewels.
257
00:14:38,582 --> 00:14:40,063
These are
the cool new ones.
258
00:14:40,064 --> 00:14:43,728
I read in "Newsweek", where kids
text message more than talk.
259
00:14:43,729 --> 00:14:45,535
- Is that a fact?
- Indeed.
260
00:14:45,931 --> 00:14:48,893
Oh, and put in that stuff
where they write "L" and "8".
261
00:14:48,894 --> 00:14:50,948
That's how they say
"later".
262
00:14:54,492 --> 00:14:57,121
I never seen
so many nerds in one place.
263
00:14:57,236 --> 00:14:59,705
Not since
the last writers' guild awards.
264
00:14:59,865 --> 00:15:03,365
This is Mulersfeild. We're gonna
start with the wedgie scene.
265
00:15:03,782 --> 00:15:05,723
"Maybe you did
give me a wedgie,
266
00:15:06,052 --> 00:15:09,541
"a-and sure my head
i-is no stranger
267
00:15:09,541 --> 00:15:12,155
"to the raging waters
of the third floor toilets.
268
00:15:12,593 --> 00:15:13,378
"But one day...
269
00:15:13,713 --> 00:15:16,442
"She be like ten,
fifteen years from now...
270
00:15:19,498 --> 00:15:23,472
"Maybe you did
give me a wedgie and... Snap!
271
00:15:24,095 --> 00:15:26,970
"... and sure my head is no stranger
to the raging waters of the...
272
00:15:27,341 --> 00:15:28,823
"of the third floor bathroom."
273
00:15:29,739 --> 00:15:32,208
Thank you so much,
that was great.
274
00:15:32,491 --> 00:15:35,598
I have to rewrite this scene.
I mean, they can't all be this bad.
275
00:15:35,652 --> 00:15:37,211
What about that guy, Chad?
276
00:15:38,559 --> 00:15:40,528
Maybe if we called him
back with some notes?
277
00:15:40,554 --> 00:15:42,852
Let me just...
try one thing.
278
00:15:43,141 --> 00:15:45,695
- This is Adam.
- No, wait. Give me a sec...
279
00:15:47,688 --> 00:15:48,985
How'd he do that?
280
00:15:50,963 --> 00:15:53,540
We'll start with the wedgie scene.
It's on page six.
281
00:15:56,867 --> 00:15:58,425
"I hope you're proud
of yourselves.
282
00:15:59,066 --> 00:16:01,463
"I hope you have a real
feeling of accomplishment.
283
00:16:01,554 --> 00:16:04,101
"Cause one day, and you know what,
it might not be in high school.
284
00:16:04,118 --> 00:16:05,899
"It might not even
be in the near future.
285
00:16:05,900 --> 00:16:08,140
"But one day, you're gonna
open a newspaper,
286
00:16:08,598 --> 00:16:10,110
"or you're gonna
turn on the television,
287
00:16:10,882 --> 00:16:12,595
"and you're gonna see
that I or...
288
00:16:13,381 --> 00:16:15,778
"some other... dungeon master
that you bullied,
289
00:16:15,779 --> 00:16:18,194
"has done something
truly spectacular.
290
00:16:19,184 --> 00:16:20,299
"And as you're putting on your...
291
00:16:20,497 --> 00:16:22,643
"name badge from
Pretzel Time, you'll say
292
00:16:22,644 --> 00:16:25,389
"Wow, I really wish that
I was nice to that guy."
293
00:16:25,937 --> 00:16:27,354
"Because you're laughing now.
294
00:16:27,773 --> 00:16:29,912
"You say digital wedgies
are a way of the future.
295
00:16:29,913 --> 00:16:34,253
"Well, okay, I have one of
those wedgies right now, in my pants.
296
00:16:34,338 --> 00:16:38,521
"But you... have a much
deeper darker wedgie...
297
00:16:39,239 --> 00:16:40,702
"on you're soul."
298
00:16:41,483 --> 00:16:42,780
That's what I meant.
299
00:16:43,352 --> 00:16:45,524
- Very nice, we will be looking at you.
- That's okay?
300
00:16:45,614 --> 00:16:47,433
Thank you so much,
that was great!
301
00:16:47,517 --> 00:16:48,473
Adam, that was great.
302
00:16:48,473 --> 00:16:49,728
Thank you very much,
we'll be in touch.
303
00:16:49,728 --> 00:16:50,941
Very good.
Thank you.
304
00:16:57,411 --> 00:16:59,247
There is some more
to see tomorrow.
305
00:16:59,272 --> 00:17:01,871
Yeah, and his agent
to see if he's an asshole.
306
00:17:01,872 --> 00:17:02,572
Yeah.
307
00:17:15,643 --> 00:17:17,672
Don't even think about it.
308
00:17:21,441 --> 00:17:23,331
- Ready for the test?
- Yeah.
309
00:17:23,415 --> 00:17:25,052
You know
what Dylan did yesterday?
310
00:17:25,267 --> 00:17:27,745
He took a tampon
out of Gabby's backpack
311
00:17:27,746 --> 00:17:31,553
and stuck it in his mouth and
it got real big from his spit.
312
00:17:32,199 --> 00:17:34,599
I've been seriously
underestimating him.
313
00:17:35,010 --> 00:17:36,449
- You had to be there.
- Yeah.
314
00:17:36,497 --> 00:17:38,158
Back to math.
What is pi?
315
00:17:40,216 --> 00:17:41,871
- Three...
- Three...
316
00:17:42,119 --> 00:17:44,542
- Three point...
- Three point...
317
00:17:46,077 --> 00:17:49,116
Three point one four.
You knew it last night.
318
00:17:49,182 --> 00:17:51,790
Yeah.
Okay. See ya.
319
00:17:52,081 --> 00:17:55,419
- 3.14 pi, don't forget!
- Yeah.
320
00:17:55,621 --> 00:17:56,702
I was hilarious.
321
00:17:56,933 --> 00:17:58,913
But Brianna kept
telling me to be sexier,
322
00:17:58,914 --> 00:18:00,970
and she'd screw up her line
if I didn't do it that way
323
00:18:00,970 --> 00:18:02,712
but she knew
it'd get cut.
324
00:18:02,944 --> 00:18:04,377
Yeah, I get paid.
So what?
325
00:18:04,695 --> 00:18:05,846
It's not just the money, ma.
326
00:18:07,541 --> 00:18:08,243
I'll call you back.
327
00:18:09,319 --> 00:18:10,593
Hi. Is Rosie here?
328
00:18:10,665 --> 00:18:12,064
She's getting
her hair colored.
329
00:18:12,877 --> 00:18:14,282
She's told me
to pick up a schedule.
330
00:18:14,377 --> 00:18:15,176
Hold on.
331
00:18:26,369 --> 00:18:28,676
Booya!
Nothing but net!
332
00:18:31,190 --> 00:18:32,987
Big boys know
other ways to score.
333
00:18:40,983 --> 00:18:43,897
- Taylor, where's Bree?
- Aren't we doing her wardrobe now?
334
00:18:43,951 --> 00:18:47,269
We're missing our lunch for her fitting,
and she's standing us up again.
335
00:18:47,463 --> 00:18:50,454
I'm sorry, but I'm not kissing
Brianna's ass anymore.
336
00:18:50,876 --> 00:18:54,188
Speaking of which, a little lipo would
help me with those shorter skirts.
337
00:18:54,223 --> 00:18:57,654
What are you, nuts?
She's got a perfect body.
338
00:18:57,729 --> 00:18:59,913
Oh... Cottage cheese
with your bagel?
339
00:19:00,131 --> 00:19:02,131
And when was the last time
we got a magazine cover?
340
00:19:02,141 --> 00:19:06,209
Lindsey, Paris, the girls of
teen bath. That's all I'm saying.
341
00:19:06,309 --> 00:19:08,208
Well, you're nuts.
That's all I'm saying.
342
00:19:08,569 --> 00:19:09,301
Oh!
343
00:19:09,815 --> 00:19:13,242
Eh, well... You-you got
a way with the attitude. Hmm?
344
00:19:14,687 --> 00:19:17,826
No. No, no, no, no. Let's not put
him in what the other guys like.
345
00:19:17,827 --> 00:19:20,059
It should be
what he looks good in.
346
00:19:20,989 --> 00:19:24,218
Find a shirt that brings out
the green in his eyes and, um...
347
00:19:25,537 --> 00:19:28,222
Give the jacket and pants
the same color to make him thinner.
348
00:19:35,837 --> 00:19:37,243
We gotta get rid
of that sign light.
349
00:19:37,243 --> 00:19:38,999
Look what it's doing
to the skin.
350
00:19:44,000 --> 00:19:45,656
And what about the bags
under his eyes?
351
00:19:45,656 --> 00:19:48,122
Look. I mean, he looks like
he hasn't slept in a week.
352
00:19:51,879 --> 00:19:55,084
No, no, we can't use this lens.
Nothing wider than a 40.
353
00:19:55,736 --> 00:19:57,665
Yeah, look at the nose.
354
00:20:11,113 --> 00:20:12,395
Oh, my God.
355
00:20:13,640 --> 00:20:14,788
Oh, my God,
I'm beautiful.
356
00:20:16,224 --> 00:20:17,740
I am beautiful.
357
00:20:20,892 --> 00:20:23,178
Actually, well, I'm, um...
You're really good.
358
00:20:23,225 --> 00:20:24,808
It wasn't that tough.
359
00:20:24,884 --> 00:20:28,044
Oh, come on. I've never thought
of myself as good-looking.
360
00:20:28,502 --> 00:20:29,264
Why not?
361
00:20:29,969 --> 00:20:31,228
Girls never made me
feel cute.
362
00:20:31,229 --> 00:20:33,541
I used to have to make them
laugh to get their attention.
363
00:20:33,921 --> 00:20:35,103
Wait a second.
364
00:20:35,944 --> 00:20:39,368
You used comedy as a cover
for feelings of inadequacy.
365
00:20:39,936 --> 00:20:41,619
You might be on
to something there.
366
00:20:45,037 --> 00:20:45,790
Wait a minute.
367
00:20:46,617 --> 00:20:47,447
What?
368
00:20:48,287 --> 00:20:49,689
You're really beautiful.
369
00:20:59,021 --> 00:21:00,345
All right,
now let's do you.
370
00:21:01,114 --> 00:21:02,891
Why is it that I have to get
painted and plucked
371
00:21:02,892 --> 00:21:04,668
and you don't even have to
comb your hair?
372
00:21:05,266 --> 00:21:06,570
How does one
achieve this look?
373
00:21:06,911 --> 00:21:07,806
Egg-beater.
374
00:21:07,956 --> 00:21:10,996
Oh, well... I'll see what I can do
but I can't work miracles.
375
00:21:11,569 --> 00:21:12,269
Rosie?
376
00:21:15,279 --> 00:21:16,225
Excuse me.
377
00:21:16,340 --> 00:21:17,674
Adam, Brianna.
378
00:21:17,675 --> 00:21:19,949
- Adam's in next week�s episode.
- Yeah. Hi.
379
00:21:20,036 --> 00:21:20,736
Hi.
380
00:21:20,949 --> 00:21:21,925
I see you later.
381
00:21:22,462 --> 00:21:23,260
Okay.
382
00:21:29,019 --> 00:21:31,023
You know
Taylor said things about me.
383
00:21:32,018 --> 00:21:34,823
You know, I can't arrive
at 7 a.m. for makeup,
384
00:21:34,824 --> 00:21:37,857
do a full day of work,
then go off to a wardrobe fitting,
385
00:21:37,858 --> 00:21:40,891
learn my lines,
and still look 16.
386
00:21:41,182 --> 00:21:42,307
I just can't do it.
387
00:21:42,589 --> 00:21:43,289
It's okay.
388
00:21:43,420 --> 00:21:44,887
You know, everyone wants
a piece of me.
389
00:21:45,352 --> 00:21:47,200
There's just
so much I can give.
390
00:21:47,217 --> 00:21:50,586
Bree, if you promise
to stop the yo-yo dieting,
391
00:21:50,672 --> 00:21:53,598
we can make a mannequin and
you don't have to do the fittings.
392
00:21:53,614 --> 00:21:54,314
Thanks.
393
00:21:55,108 --> 00:21:58,962
I just know, when I'm this tired,
I can't do my best work.
394
00:21:58,977 --> 00:22:00,434
Well,
nobody wants that.
395
00:22:00,709 --> 00:22:02,986
- Honey you're just... you're just tired.
- Yeah.
396
00:22:17,269 --> 00:22:18,717
- Guess what?
- What?
397
00:22:18,718 --> 00:22:19,720
Life is good.
398
00:22:20,030 --> 00:22:21,286
I know what you mean.
399
00:22:21,723 --> 00:22:24,134
Can I have "Lucky Charms"?
They're magically delicious.
400
00:22:24,317 --> 00:22:26,978
Technically, it's not
really magic, it's sugar.
401
00:22:28,489 --> 00:22:29,749
You know
what happened today?
402
00:22:29,822 --> 00:22:31,729
Me, and Melanie and Zack
are planning to see
403
00:22:31,729 --> 00:22:33,551
the new Adam Sandler
on Wednesday,
404
00:22:33,612 --> 00:22:36,056
and Zack asked Dylan
to come and he said okay.
405
00:22:36,125 --> 00:22:39,110
And then Zack said "I'll be
with Melanie and you'll be with Izzie."
406
00:22:39,120 --> 00:22:40,940
- And you know what Dylan said?
- What?
407
00:22:41,272 --> 00:22:44,831
- He said "I guess".
- You're kidding.
408
00:22:45,705 --> 00:22:48,425
Izz, you still have shampoo.
409
00:22:48,632 --> 00:22:49,911
But this is "Suave"
410
00:22:49,912 --> 00:22:52,978
for the same luxurious hair as
"Pantene" at half the price.
411
00:22:53,013 --> 00:22:54,754
When you put it like that...
412
00:22:55,317 --> 00:22:59,027
I can't believe you're going on
a group date with a boy you like.
413
00:22:59,094 --> 00:23:01,556
Oh, don't worry, ma,
it's strictly platatonic.
414
00:23:07,574 --> 00:23:08,958
Hey, check it out.
415
00:23:09,667 --> 00:23:10,685
Shit's real.
416
00:23:12,470 --> 00:23:14,994
- One of the SAT's dropping, I think.
- Oh, okay.
417
00:23:15,347 --> 00:23:16,347
Yeah, it will be better.
418
00:23:16,729 --> 00:23:17,855
Scene twelve.
Take one.
419
00:23:18,190 --> 00:23:18,890
Ahhh!
420
00:23:20,835 --> 00:23:23,099
Who put
this ketchup there?
421
00:23:24,159 --> 00:23:26,402
- I got action, Johnny.
- And... action.
422
00:23:33,642 --> 00:23:35,022
- Ready.
- Action.
423
00:23:37,476 --> 00:23:39,706
I need to know what
you're doing for the talent contest.
424
00:23:42,167 --> 00:23:45,766
- You like him.
- What are you talking about?
425
00:23:48,252 --> 00:23:49,585
- What are you doing?
- Brianna.
426
00:23:49,586 --> 00:23:52,320
Some kind of second city stuff?
I've already learned my lines.
427
00:23:52,611 --> 00:23:54,401
I'll keep your cues
exactly the same.
428
00:23:55,842 --> 00:23:58,003
I don't do
whose line's in any way.
429
00:23:58,004 --> 00:23:59,895
- Just great.
- Bree.
430
00:24:00,203 --> 00:24:02,636
Hey, hey, drop off
your phones.
431
00:24:03,447 --> 00:24:06,953
I know you don't like thinking
about ratings, but we're in deep shit.
432
00:24:06,954 --> 00:24:10,932
Now, this guy could turn out
to be the next Ben Stiller.
433
00:24:11,725 --> 00:24:13,568
You never know.
And, you know...
434
00:24:13,569 --> 00:24:16,735
it wouldn't hurt for you to have
a good relationship with him.
435
00:24:24,112 --> 00:24:25,197
Okay, we're back.
436
00:24:26,363 --> 00:24:27,225
Thanks.
437
00:24:27,393 --> 00:24:29,310
So, Monty said
we're working till like eight.
438
00:24:29,363 --> 00:24:31,854
Probably. Yeah,
I'm getting my tin coming back.
439
00:24:32,124 --> 00:24:34,611
Does your husband mind you, uh...
working so late?
440
00:24:34,612 --> 00:24:35,627
I'm not married.
441
00:24:35,784 --> 00:24:36,648
Or your boyfriend?
442
00:24:37,074 --> 00:24:38,132
No. No boyfriend.
443
00:24:40,188 --> 00:24:42,130
So, you have to pick out
music for the show, right?
444
00:24:42,378 --> 00:24:44,705
Uh, me
and the music supervisor.
445
00:24:44,745 --> 00:24:46,747
Cause, this guy,
who used to be my roommate,
446
00:24:46,747 --> 00:24:48,286
is playing in a band
on Friday night,
447
00:24:48,446 --> 00:24:51,544
and I-I figured, since you have
to do that kind of thing anyway,
448
00:24:51,742 --> 00:24:54,790
- that maybe you'd, uh...
- Can I, uh... ask you something?
449
00:24:54,791 --> 00:24:55,491
Yeah.
450
00:24:56,513 --> 00:25:01,671
Well, most of the students in the show
have wives and kids and homes and so...
451
00:25:01,672 --> 00:25:03,558
Well, you know, they're
not exactly teenagers.
452
00:25:04,142 --> 00:25:05,757
And you have the job,
so it doesn't matter.
453
00:25:05,757 --> 00:25:08,466
But, how... old are you?
454
00:25:08,517 --> 00:25:11,168
- Really.
- Really?
455
00:25:11,302 --> 00:25:12,950
I'm like, uh... 32.
456
00:25:13,584 --> 00:25:14,573
Why?
How old are you?
457
00:25:15,947 --> 00:25:18,606
- 37.
- You're a kid.
458
00:25:20,057 --> 00:25:21,081
So, what-what do you say?
459
00:25:23,625 --> 00:25:24,325
Okay.
460
00:25:24,476 --> 00:25:25,953
- Friday?
- All right.
461
00:25:26,019 --> 00:25:29,103
It's at Sullivan�s which is, you know,
it's kind of a... kind of a dive, but,
462
00:25:29,202 --> 00:25:32,579
Lindsay, uh, stabbed, um,
Hillary there. I think.
463
00:25:32,580 --> 00:25:36,083
Or, no, Mary-Kate may, uh...
happened... Ashley...
464
00:25:36,101 --> 00:25:38,825
- I don't know. It's kinda cool.
- Well, it sounds lovely.
465
00:25:38,826 --> 00:25:40,885
Sullivan�s, yeah.
It's just above the palace.
466
00:25:41,065 --> 00:25:42,480
Oh, yeah....
467
00:25:42,596 --> 00:25:45,115
Oh, yeah,
you know where that is.
468
00:25:45,116 --> 00:25:46,402
But I-I can pick you up.
469
00:25:47,149 --> 00:25:48,844
- Great!
- Yeah? Okay.
470
00:25:49,157 --> 00:25:49,870
At around 9:00?
471
00:25:49,871 --> 00:25:51,105
- All right.
- Okay.
472
00:25:51,345 --> 00:25:52,411
Look where you're going!
473
00:25:53,006 --> 00:25:54,748
- Sorry.
- That's all right. I...
474
00:25:55,354 --> 00:25:57,413
Oh, my God!
How much do we love that?
475
00:25:57,414 --> 00:25:58,768
- Take it to my trailer.
- Thank you.
476
00:25:58,874 --> 00:25:59,596
I'll see ya!
477
00:26:00,482 --> 00:26:04,081
All right, so he's a little younger.
It would be fine if I was a man.
478
00:26:04,399 --> 00:26:08,826
Why can't you copy the smart things
men do and not the... idiot things?
479
00:26:09,110 --> 00:26:10,037
Izz?
480
00:26:14,920 --> 00:26:17,807
What did I tell you
about jumping on beds?
481
00:26:18,916 --> 00:26:21,863
- Only in hotels and daddy's house.
-That's right. So...
482
00:26:22,231 --> 00:26:23,167
Tell be about school.
483
00:26:23,356 --> 00:26:25,265
Well, me and Melanie
had this idea today,
484
00:26:25,266 --> 00:26:28,737
that we'd ask Page to talk to Colin
since he's Dylan's best friend.
485
00:26:28,738 --> 00:26:31,355
And Colin would tell Dylan that
I like him and see what he says.
486
00:26:31,356 --> 00:26:32,936
No, no, no! Don't let 'im know
that you like him.
487
00:26:33,196 --> 00:26:35,145
Act like you don't know
he's alive.
488
00:26:35,866 --> 00:26:37,594
Look... look busy
all the time.
489
00:26:37,594 --> 00:26:40,742
You have to behave like, mm,
you couldn't care less.
490
00:26:43,824 --> 00:26:44,524
Hello?
491
00:26:45,181 --> 00:26:47,451
Are you happy with
your long distance service?
492
00:26:49,741 --> 00:26:51,827
I'm learning a lot
about playing it cool.
493
00:27:11,612 --> 00:27:13,265
- What do you think?
- I like it.
494
00:27:13,365 --> 00:27:15,003
But look what happens
when I do this.
495
00:27:16,562 --> 00:27:17,824
Then don't do that.
496
00:27:21,215 --> 00:27:23,912
- Oh, wow. A kid.
- Yes, I am.
497
00:27:24,671 --> 00:27:25,818
You guys pretty cool, right?
498
00:27:26,804 --> 00:27:28,167
Can I get you a beverage?
499
00:27:28,773 --> 00:27:29,478
Thank you.
500
00:27:30,817 --> 00:27:34,140
- Hey!
- That was a present. From Drew Carey.
501
00:27:34,141 --> 00:27:35,932
Oh, that's very thoughtful.
502
00:27:39,550 --> 00:27:41,361
Ugh! Yucka.
503
00:27:45,246 --> 00:27:48,207
Hey, Zoloft. Your mom and I
take the same medication.
504
00:27:48,484 --> 00:27:51,092
Sounds like a firm
basis for a relationship.
505
00:27:51,756 --> 00:27:54,463
I was in the middle of playing
"Ape's Escape", if you'd care to join me.
506
00:27:54,520 --> 00:27:56,584
Hey, do you know the secret
to get to the next level?
507
00:27:57,348 --> 00:27:58,303
There's a secret?
508
00:27:59,064 --> 00:27:59,967
Can you show me?
509
00:28:05,192 --> 00:28:06,732
All right.
510
00:28:15,928 --> 00:28:21,468
Izzie, please! Shut those apes off.
I can't stand that stupid music.
511
00:28:21,630 --> 00:28:23,442
Ma, I've reached
new heights!
512
00:28:23,938 --> 00:28:24,638
Wow!
513
00:28:26,933 --> 00:28:27,633
Shit.
514
00:28:28,692 --> 00:28:29,562
Thanks.
515
00:28:43,046 --> 00:28:43,963
You look cold.
516
00:28:44,000 --> 00:28:45,872
Oh, no, no, no,
we'll be inside in just a....
517
00:28:45,872 --> 00:28:48,394
- Here.
- Okay.
518
00:28:50,179 --> 00:28:51,423
Can I see some ID?
519
00:29:06,197 --> 00:29:07,180
Excuse me.
520
00:29:11,526 --> 00:29:14,267
- Oh, you'll be the oldest one in there.
- I can deal.
521
00:29:14,347 --> 00:29:16,397
Wouldn't you rather be
at home in a nice hot bath
522
00:29:16,398 --> 00:29:18,579
reading an informative
article on Bolaws?
523
00:29:22,781 --> 00:29:24,886
Fine.
You look ridiculous.
524
00:29:28,049 --> 00:29:29,714
They let her in?
525
00:29:30,906 --> 00:29:33,464
Yes, if you're old,
all your clothes are vintage.
526
00:29:37,553 --> 00:29:39,689
Why is that cute guy
dating his mom?
527
00:29:42,549 --> 00:29:43,960
- You want a drink?
- What?
528
00:29:44,016 --> 00:29:45,443
I'm gonna get a beer.
You want something?
529
00:29:45,444 --> 00:29:46,444
Nothing.
530
00:29:53,511 --> 00:29:54,890
You look like
you need a drink.
531
00:29:55,590 --> 00:29:56,930
Oh, I do?
532
00:29:58,145 --> 00:30:00,875
Let me guess, uh...
Apple martini, right?
533
00:30:00,923 --> 00:30:02,784
I'm sorry,
I can't hear you.
534
00:30:06,002 --> 00:30:06,702
What's up?
535
00:30:14,962 --> 00:30:15,895
Wanna dance?
536
00:30:17,134 --> 00:30:18,583
But no one else is.
537
00:30:18,984 --> 00:30:21,825
- Then we'll be the best one.
- I couldn't, but don't let me stop you.
538
00:30:23,757 --> 00:30:25,529
A'it. My turn to rock it.
539
00:31:38,700 --> 00:31:39,832
You're nuts.
540
00:31:40,020 --> 00:31:42,626
Hey, it's Friday night.
I gotta bring my "A" game.
541
00:31:47,511 --> 00:31:49,919
Quite a variety of steps
you got there.
542
00:31:50,255 --> 00:31:52,981
Well, two of everything,
I think.
543
00:31:54,343 --> 00:31:55,343
I'm that good.
544
00:31:57,051 --> 00:31:59,487
- Oh, I gotta play you something.
- Oh, Green Gang.
545
00:31:59,732 --> 00:32:00,924
Wrong mood.
546
00:32:01,419 --> 00:32:02,648
Ricky Martin?
547
00:32:03,397 --> 00:32:05,827
What?
That's not mine.
548
00:32:09,660 --> 00:32:11,232
I'm not really 37.
549
00:32:12,049 --> 00:32:14,607
- How old are you?
- 38.
550
00:32:15,062 --> 00:32:17,198
- I'm actually 31.
- Okay.
551
00:32:20,474 --> 00:32:22,006
Uh...
I need my keys.
552
00:32:31,200 --> 00:32:33,591
I'm all right.
I'm good. I got 'em.
553
00:32:47,768 --> 00:32:49,045
Oh, I need my wallet.
554
00:32:51,994 --> 00:32:53,981
- What are you doing?
- Huh?
555
00:32:54,337 --> 00:32:55,981
Consider this foreplay.
556
00:32:57,734 --> 00:33:01,039
- What a turn on.
- Yeah, I thought... I thought so.
557
00:33:08,771 --> 00:33:09,873
I'm 40.
558
00:33:11,016 --> 00:33:14,644
- 29.
- What happened to 30?
559
00:33:14,645 --> 00:33:17,091
- What happened to 39?
- You're not even in your 30's.
560
00:33:17,092 --> 00:33:18,138
Well, neither are you.
561
00:33:19,064 --> 00:33:20,669
Hey, besides,
you-you know... you know
562
00:33:20,669 --> 00:33:22,645
that saying
"Never trust anyone over 30"?
563
00:33:25,521 --> 00:33:26,563
So, you can trust me.
564
00:33:38,895 --> 00:33:41,794
- Hey, you look great!
- Thanks.
565
00:33:41,923 --> 00:33:43,647
You had what done?
What'd you do?
566
00:33:44,179 --> 00:33:44,975
Nothing.
567
00:33:45,667 --> 00:33:46,738
Yeah, right.
568
00:33:51,264 --> 00:33:55,832
Watch this. He-he gets the money back.
He totally came up with that himself.
569
00:33:55,900 --> 00:33:56,600
And look.
570
00:33:56,844 --> 00:33:58,015
Look at the testing.
571
00:33:58,027 --> 00:34:03,467
He... Boys ten to twelve, 84%.
Girls, 92%!
572
00:34:03,479 --> 00:34:06,657
We had the same numbers when
Screech was a substitute teacher.
573
00:34:06,990 --> 00:34:09,745
But those were "Oh, oh, look, it's
that 'Saved-By-The-Bell' guy" numbers.
574
00:34:09,746 --> 00:34:10,446
-There's my ace.
-These are...
575
00:34:10,447 --> 00:34:13,777
"who's the new guy?"
Hey, I like him numbers.
576
00:34:13,888 --> 00:34:15,326
The rest of the scripts
are all approved.
577
00:34:15,327 --> 00:34:17,230
Why do you wanna start
writing 3 new ones?
578
00:34:17,376 --> 00:34:20,204
Cause this guy's funny.
He's physical. He-he can act.
579
00:34:20,483 --> 00:34:21,701
Girls will love him.
580
00:34:22,528 --> 00:34:24,646
Oh, at least one does.
581
00:34:25,359 --> 00:34:26,889
I don't need
the extra work.
582
00:34:27,583 --> 00:34:30,573
I believe this kid
can spin off for you.
583
00:34:31,160 --> 00:34:33,539
Okay, we drop one point,
it's your ass.
584
00:34:33,634 --> 00:34:35,814
We won't. I promise.
585
00:34:35,953 --> 00:34:37,473
Fight! Fight! Fight!
586
00:34:39,988 --> 00:34:40,988
- Fight! Fight! Fight!
- Hey!
587
00:34:41,666 --> 00:34:44,315
Hey! Cut it out!
Who told you to hit girls?
588
00:34:44,316 --> 00:34:46,456
- She started it.
- I can take 'im.
589
00:34:47,745 --> 00:34:48,966
What was that about?
590
00:34:49,151 --> 00:34:53,423
He said "Your mother's show only got
a 6.3 rating. And it's down the toilet."
591
00:34:54,787 --> 00:34:59,828
Hey, Noah! I heard Brad Pitt's
firing your dad's law firm.
592
00:35:02,826 --> 00:35:05,333
These guys are special,
so they go on display.
593
00:35:06,348 --> 00:35:07,556
And these go
to "Good Will".
594
00:35:07,669 --> 00:35:09,270
- Oh, no.
- What's wrong?
595
00:35:09,368 --> 00:35:11,943
They're all naked and
skinny and lying in a pile.
596
00:35:11,944 --> 00:35:14,518
It looks like a concentration
camp. We-we have to dress them.
597
00:35:14,536 --> 00:35:17,174
- Ma...
- Please. It's depressing.
598
00:35:19,668 --> 00:35:21,214
What happened
at the movies?
599
00:35:22,147 --> 00:35:23,764
Did Dylan put his arm
around you?
600
00:35:24,561 --> 00:35:25,365
No.
601
00:35:25,693 --> 00:35:29,527
Did... you both put your arms
on the arm rest together?
602
00:35:30,005 --> 00:35:34,396
Well, first his arm went on it.
And then I put my arm on it.
603
00:35:34,397 --> 00:35:37,018
But then he took his off
and sat like this.
604
00:35:37,389 --> 00:35:38,995
He's not ready
for girls yet.
605
00:35:39,053 --> 00:35:41,064
He had a girlfriend
last year.
606
00:35:41,166 --> 00:35:42,417
Then he has no taste.
607
00:35:43,104 --> 00:35:44,293
Ma, I love him.
608
00:35:44,415 --> 00:35:46,514
Okay, I'm sorry.
609
00:35:46,970 --> 00:35:49,282
Izz, are you sure you're... done
with these guys?
610
00:35:49,350 --> 00:35:50,112
Yeah.
611
00:35:50,133 --> 00:35:51,259
It's just so sad.
612
00:35:51,298 --> 00:35:54,404
It's like when you finish a season
and the actors all go away.
613
00:35:55,974 --> 00:35:57,185
Wanna play one last game?
614
00:35:57,289 --> 00:35:59,167
Ma, I'm too old
for Barbies.
615
00:35:59,488 --> 00:36:00,746
Yeah, but I'm not.
616
00:36:03,280 --> 00:36:05,335
Okay, who should be
in love with who?
617
00:36:06,960 --> 00:36:08,195
Let's see.
618
00:36:08,398 --> 00:36:10,006
- You're enabling.
- What?
619
00:36:10,412 --> 00:36:12,470
Wardrobe
for the new scenes with Adam.
620
00:36:12,471 --> 00:36:15,511
I am not enabling.
I'm rewriting. This is nice.
621
00:36:15,512 --> 00:36:16,212
Thank you.
622
00:36:16,213 --> 00:36:19,152
Putz, noun, a yokel, a jerk.
623
00:36:19,153 --> 00:36:21,303
Our Rabbi consultant
said it means a penis.
624
00:36:21,403 --> 00:36:22,668
We're allowed to say penis.
625
00:36:22,753 --> 00:36:27,124
Yes, you can say penis,
but this is the bad penis. Like prick.
626
00:36:27,220 --> 00:36:30,083
And what exactly
is the good penis?
627
00:36:30,585 --> 00:36:31,421
Check it out.
628
00:36:37,273 --> 00:36:39,067
Why don't I just say
"He's so gay"?
629
00:36:39,230 --> 00:36:41,453
That's kind of
derogatory.
630
00:36:41,617 --> 00:36:42,530
But everyone says it.
631
00:36:43,393 --> 00:36:47,072
- Ok everybody, that's lunch.
- Hey, hey, drop off your phones.
632
00:36:47,446 --> 00:36:49,650
No walking away
with the props.
633
00:36:52,574 --> 00:36:53,402
I see you.
634
00:36:58,460 --> 00:36:59,679
He is an actor.
635
00:37:04,704 --> 00:37:07,039
Hey, back off,
Miss Bulimia.
636
00:37:10,546 --> 00:37:11,495
Hey, Screech.
637
00:37:12,093 --> 00:37:14,690
You know, the buzz is
Brianna wants you out.
638
00:37:14,840 --> 00:37:15,540
Why?
639
00:37:15,618 --> 00:37:16,812
She says you're too bry.
640
00:37:18,108 --> 00:37:18,808
Me?
641
00:37:20,653 --> 00:37:21,503
See, I get you.
642
00:37:21,740 --> 00:37:23,934
But Brianna,
she doesn't like anyone
643
00:37:23,935 --> 00:37:26,830
unless they make a big old stink
about how gorgeous she is.
644
00:37:27,844 --> 00:37:30,951
Rosie really wishes you'd,
you know... flirt with her.
645
00:37:31,537 --> 00:37:32,526
She never said anything.
646
00:37:32,706 --> 00:37:34,435
Well, she can't exactly say
"Go hit on Brianna."
647
00:37:34,825 --> 00:37:37,471
Not after that stupid sexual
harassment class we had today.
648
00:37:47,445 --> 00:37:49,538
Hey, man, don't bogart
all that doobage.
649
00:37:49,903 --> 00:37:51,232
It's not pot.
650
00:37:51,281 --> 00:37:53,596
- De je ton.
- Je ton!
651
00:37:53,674 --> 00:37:58,186
Oh, je do de ton on.
Oh, thank heavens for the little girls.
652
00:38:05,414 --> 00:38:08,468
... a white Zinfandel...
Hello.
653
00:38:08,853 --> 00:38:11,317
What is.. Wow,
how do you get that job?
654
00:38:11,817 --> 00:38:12,806
What's this?
655
00:38:13,667 --> 00:38:14,983
The way those two
keep running off
656
00:38:14,984 --> 00:38:17,703
the AD's thought it'd be easier
to listen to where they are.
657
00:38:21,440 --> 00:38:24,472
- Sounds like Adam likes Bree.
- This isn't very nice.
658
00:38:25,313 --> 00:38:29,384
I am so sick of reading about Meisha,
and Lindsey, and Katie.
659
00:38:29,385 --> 00:38:31,443
- Yeah.
- Now, they're all getting better parts.
660
00:38:31,520 --> 00:38:32,220
Yeah.
661
00:38:32,221 --> 00:38:35,642
Soon, the whole yum girl faze is
gonna be over. And it kills me.
662
00:38:35,842 --> 00:38:38,120
I mean, I was a teenage girl
before any of them.
663
00:38:38,143 --> 00:38:39,065
- Bree,
- I should be playing...
664
00:38:39,066 --> 00:38:40,587
We're jumping ahead
to the beach party scene.
665
00:38:40,671 --> 00:38:42,835
Oh, oh, I get to wear
my pretty bikini.
666
00:38:47,814 --> 00:38:50,366
Did I ever tell you you've
the body of a 29-year-old?
667
00:38:50,448 --> 00:38:51,734
Oh. Really?
668
00:38:52,634 --> 00:38:54,767
I hope you plan
to take advantage of it.
669
00:38:54,768 --> 00:38:55,655
I gotta go.
670
00:38:56,175 --> 00:38:57,569
I can't let you go.
671
00:38:58,171 --> 00:38:59,973
No, but I must.
You have to go. Go.
672
00:39:00,055 --> 00:39:01,229
But I can't do it!
673
00:39:01,652 --> 00:39:02,594
But you have to go.
674
00:39:02,766 --> 00:39:06,579
You have to... I can't go.
But you must! All right?
675
00:39:06,644 --> 00:39:07,963
Your work is bigger
than the both of us.
676
00:39:07,964 --> 00:39:10,727
After all, the prom episode
isn't going to produce itself.
677
00:39:10,806 --> 00:39:11,683
I gotta go.
678
00:39:11,684 --> 00:39:13,299
- All right.
- We can continue this later.
679
00:39:13,300 --> 00:39:14,715
- Okay.
- You're done for today.
680
00:39:14,811 --> 00:39:16,787
Really?
My car's still in the shop.
681
00:39:16,987 --> 00:39:17,687
Take mine.
682
00:39:20,469 --> 00:39:22,093
I'll bring it back
before you leave.
683
00:39:23,594 --> 00:39:24,296
Okay.
684
00:39:25,644 --> 00:39:26,942
You go, girl.
685
00:39:29,630 --> 00:39:33,930
You're suspicious, you're giggly,
you're worried, then you're mushy.
686
00:39:33,931 --> 00:39:36,050
What an emotional
roller coaster you're on.
687
00:39:36,118 --> 00:39:37,327
Roller coasters are fun.
688
00:39:37,425 --> 00:39:38,373
For teenagers.
689
00:39:38,374 --> 00:39:40,595
- It's exhilarating.
- Until you get nauseous.
690
00:39:43,801 --> 00:39:44,747
Can I help you?
691
00:39:45,995 --> 00:39:49,999
- Just looking at the stage.
- Oh, well, it's in use at the moment.
692
00:39:50,369 --> 00:39:51,966
Hum, okay.
693
00:39:56,488 --> 00:39:58,220
Go find out
who they are.
694
00:39:58,871 --> 00:40:02,530
If A equals B, and B equals
C plus ten,
695
00:40:02,812 --> 00:40:04,414
then C is to A...
696
00:40:04,415 --> 00:40:06,503
Okay, if I had my first
writing job
697
00:40:06,503 --> 00:40:10,054
on"Family Matters" in 1986
and he was born in...
698
00:40:11,111 --> 00:40:12,500
Oh, my God!
699
00:40:12,510 --> 00:40:18,077
1977!? Then Urkel is to him
what David Cassidy is to me.
700
00:40:18,137 --> 00:40:21,716
And the dark myth Madonna is to me,
what the Jewish Madonna is to him.
701
00:40:21,717 --> 00:40:24,612
And if I mention something from
my childhood, it would be to him how...
702
00:40:24,613 --> 00:40:28,251
I feel about it as before I was born.
Like it's ancient history!
703
00:40:30,856 --> 00:40:32,427
- Ma?
- Huh?
704
00:40:32,596 --> 00:40:34,846
How do you make a positive
number turn negative?
705
00:40:35,682 --> 00:40:39,472
Take away its Prozac and put it
with a bunch of smaller numbers.
706
00:40:45,082 --> 00:40:46,887
- Ow! Ow!
- Oh.
707
00:40:47,087 --> 00:40:48,719
Stop. stop.
Let me.
708
00:40:52,529 --> 00:40:54,446
- This isn't gonna work.
- Yeah, I know.
709
00:40:54,447 --> 00:40:57,132
- Let's get in the back seat.
- No, I mean this.
710
00:41:00,490 --> 00:41:02,032
You and me.
711
00:41:02,372 --> 00:41:03,639
Wow, what'd I do?
712
00:41:03,695 --> 00:41:06,412
Oh, no, nothing...
No, you're...
713
00:41:07,724 --> 00:41:09,306
You're wonderful.
714
00:41:10,371 --> 00:41:13,981
- We had fun, Friday?
- Oh, yeah. No, Friday was great.
715
00:41:14,586 --> 00:41:15,286
Then, why?
716
00:41:17,284 --> 00:41:20,945
I... Remember when we had
that talk about you being 29?
717
00:41:20,946 --> 00:41:22,625
I keep thinking
about how...
718
00:41:24,055 --> 00:41:26,023
young... that is.
719
00:41:27,067 --> 00:41:28,734
I'm planning
on getting older.
720
00:41:28,751 --> 00:41:31,367
Yeah, well, I'm not planning
on getting younger.
721
00:41:31,523 --> 00:41:32,717
That just means dumber.
722
00:41:34,290 --> 00:41:34,990
Come on.
723
00:41:41,716 --> 00:41:44,091
You just think
I'm a dumb kid. Don't you?
724
00:41:44,616 --> 00:41:47,397
No. Of course not.
725
00:41:48,083 --> 00:41:52,179
You're the one who's young.
Young is far superior to old.
726
00:41:52,351 --> 00:41:54,855
- In what?
- In everything.
727
00:41:55,115 --> 00:41:55,890
Oh, yeah?
728
00:41:56,422 --> 00:41:59,398
Who's funnier,
Tom Green or George Carlin?
729
00:42:00,886 --> 00:42:02,873
Well, that's
a freak example.
730
00:42:03,271 --> 00:42:07,429
You... you know in our society
young outranks old.
731
00:42:07,474 --> 00:42:11,030
Tall outranks short.
Cute outranks smart.
732
00:42:12,303 --> 00:42:13,384
I just...
733
00:42:14,355 --> 00:42:16,203
If we got involved...
734
00:42:17,686 --> 00:42:20,057
someone's gonna
get hurt. And...
735
00:42:21,509 --> 00:42:23,976
because I'm... older...
736
00:42:24,989 --> 00:42:27,023
I have to be
the responsible one.
737
00:42:35,027 --> 00:42:36,918
But we could still
be friends.
738
00:42:42,015 --> 00:42:46,129
- We can still be friends, can't we?
- Yeah, you know I was there for you.
739
00:42:48,995 --> 00:42:51,232
Matthew Perry has
no sense of humor.
740
00:42:51,275 --> 00:42:52,968
- Okay, this one.
- Okay.
741
00:42:59,282 --> 00:42:59,982
Hello.
742
00:43:02,148 --> 00:43:04,124
No, it's-it's much slower.
743
00:43:12,169 --> 00:43:14,220
You are so grounded.
744
00:43:14,541 --> 00:43:16,956
Hello! I'm home!
745
00:43:19,775 --> 00:43:20,861
What are you guys
up to?
746
00:43:20,873 --> 00:43:21,635
Nothing.
747
00:43:22,148 --> 00:43:24,292
How come you're home so early?
Where's Adam?
748
00:43:24,585 --> 00:43:26,538
I decided we shouldn't
go out anymore.
749
00:43:26,641 --> 00:43:27,825
Why? I like 'im.
750
00:43:29,173 --> 00:43:30,384
I'm trying
to be mature.
751
00:43:30,645 --> 00:43:32,124
That's not really
your style.
752
00:43:32,290 --> 00:43:34,110
Yeah, I know.
753
00:43:34,217 --> 00:43:36,251
At what age do you stop
going out on dates?
754
00:43:36,905 --> 00:43:38,186
Don't be an idiot.
755
00:43:38,187 --> 00:43:40,290
What? Old people
don't go out on dates.
756
00:43:40,725 --> 00:43:41,924
Good night.
757
00:43:42,638 --> 00:43:43,442
Good night.
758
00:43:45,092 --> 00:43:46,903
- Stopo it.
- I told her the truth.
759
00:43:53,477 --> 00:43:54,177
Where's Rosie?
760
00:43:54,782 --> 00:43:56,061
She's
at the gynecologist.
761
00:43:56,308 --> 00:43:58,128
- When's she gonna be back?
- I don't know.
762
00:43:58,416 --> 00:44:00,420
They have to hack
through all the cobwebs.
763
00:44:02,121 --> 00:44:04,977
She told me to pick something up
at the office, but no one's there.
764
00:44:05,211 --> 00:44:05,911
Sure.
765
00:44:05,912 --> 00:44:09,572
That 45-year-old would love to lock me
in the office while everyone is on the set.
766
00:44:09,721 --> 00:44:12,645
And yet you manage to show up
every day. You're so brave.
767
00:44:12,978 --> 00:44:16,064
It's for you.
Rosie decided to give you an "R".
768
00:44:16,490 --> 00:44:17,190
What's an "R"?
769
00:44:17,794 --> 00:44:20,126
It's what you get
when you screw the producer.
770
00:44:21,702 --> 00:44:23,705
- She wrote these?
- Yeah.
771
00:44:23,706 --> 00:44:25,161
You got three more episodes.
772
00:44:27,063 --> 00:44:28,264
Since you're gonna
be around a while,
773
00:44:28,646 --> 00:44:30,954
why don't you and I, you know,
get some coffee?
774
00:44:33,664 --> 00:44:35,799
So what are you saying?
We can't use the "Sparkly Farbs"?
775
00:44:35,871 --> 00:44:36,571
No.
776
00:44:37,306 --> 00:44:38,852
They can be prom phones.
777
00:44:39,844 --> 00:44:42,025
- Hey!
- Hi.
778
00:44:42,608 --> 00:44:45,059
Oh, I... see
you got the new episodes.
779
00:44:45,148 --> 00:44:47,265
Yep, and, uh...
780
00:44:47,335 --> 00:44:48,898
- I got some good news for you.
- You do?
781
00:44:48,898 --> 00:44:52,277
Mm-hm. I've been doing a lot
of soul searching lately and...
782
00:44:54,328 --> 00:44:55,837
I'm gonna give you
another shot with me.
783
00:44:57,985 --> 00:45:00,033
Pretty sly, Stallone.
784
00:45:00,115 --> 00:45:01,722
I think you're good
for the show.
785
00:45:02,057 --> 00:45:04,042
You think that's what
you think, but really,
786
00:45:04,043 --> 00:45:06,766
your subconscious is finding
ways to keep you with me.
787
00:45:06,837 --> 00:45:10,769
I'm surprised some Ivy League psyche
department hasn't snatched you up.
788
00:45:10,805 --> 00:45:13,616
Art with out love is nothing.
Nietsche said that.
789
00:45:13,617 --> 00:45:14,317
Oh.
790
00:45:14,592 --> 00:45:16,652
I don't think
Nietsche watched "You Go, Girl".
791
00:45:18,251 --> 00:45:19,380
Could have TiVoed it.
792
00:45:21,719 --> 00:45:22,419
Could've.
793
00:46:46,967 --> 00:46:48,806
Adam likes you a lot.
794
00:46:48,915 --> 00:46:50,626
Yeah,
why do you think that?
795
00:46:50,896 --> 00:46:53,187
He make you a music mix.
796
00:46:54,163 --> 00:46:56,341
That's how boys tell you
what's in their hearts.
797
00:46:56,557 --> 00:46:58,650
That is so adolescent.
798
00:46:58,857 --> 00:47:00,031
Just listen to it.
799
00:47:19,306 --> 00:47:20,065
Hey!
800
00:47:21,328 --> 00:47:23,017
- Uh?
- Where is your car?
801
00:47:23,712 --> 00:47:26,407
Ah, it's at a...
another party I'm working.
802
00:47:28,016 --> 00:47:32,053
You know that? Uh, Rosie wanted to cut
your scene but I told her to keep it in.
803
00:47:32,317 --> 00:47:33,017
Thanks.
804
00:47:34,094 --> 00:47:35,502
Hey, we're here!
805
00:47:39,729 --> 00:47:42,241
See. Now, we look alike.
806
00:47:43,304 --> 00:47:45,757
- I don't see it.
- No, I can. They look a little alike.
807
00:47:45,814 --> 00:47:47,230
Yeah, you can totally
be his nephew.
808
00:47:47,231 --> 00:47:48,686
Nephew?
You mean brother.
809
00:47:48,994 --> 00:47:50,872
- How old are you?
- 30.
810
00:47:51,052 --> 00:47:52,232
Well, how old
do you think I am?
811
00:47:52,930 --> 00:47:54,100
49?
812
00:47:54,691 --> 00:47:57,003
Yes. But how old
do I look?
813
00:47:57,125 --> 00:48:00,693
- Well, I'd say...
- Say 32 or he'll never stop.
814
00:48:02,761 --> 00:48:04,928
- 32?
- Thank you.
815
00:48:06,047 --> 00:48:08,666
- Moisturizer.
- Ahh!
816
00:48:15,127 --> 00:48:19,003
No! This stuff
is impossible to clean up.
817
00:48:19,004 --> 00:48:21,092
Izzie, what did I say
about jumping on beds?
818
00:48:22,972 --> 00:48:24,181
Please don't be mad.
819
00:48:24,182 --> 00:48:27,495
It took us all this time to talk Dylan
into playing truth or dare
820
00:48:27,496 --> 00:48:30,138
and then he started showing off.
And I was afraid you'd stop him.
821
00:48:30,139 --> 00:48:31,773
He was doing this
to make you laugh?
822
00:48:31,774 --> 00:48:33,926
- I think.
- Pretty good, yes?
823
00:48:33,927 --> 00:48:36,015
- Is Brianna Minx here?
- Not yet.
824
00:48:36,137 --> 00:48:37,274
But she's coming?
825
00:48:37,352 --> 00:48:39,108
- Uh, probably.
- Come on.
826
00:48:42,239 --> 00:48:43,223
Men.
827
00:48:45,538 --> 00:48:49,506
Hey, don't go away.
An all new "You Go, Girl" is up next.
828
00:48:55,653 --> 00:48:57,662
Quiet, everybody,
here come my big scene.
829
00:48:57,735 --> 00:49:00,284
Mr. Heart, can I have
a bathroom pass?
830
00:49:04,810 --> 00:49:06,720
Wow, who found
that skateboard?
831
00:49:06,773 --> 00:49:08,659
Yeah, yeah, yeah,
props to props.
832
00:49:09,192 --> 00:49:09,896
Good job.
833
00:49:11,177 --> 00:49:12,068
Here's to you.
834
00:49:29,201 --> 00:49:30,837
- Nathan.
- Huh?
835
00:49:31,130 --> 00:49:32,100
Put it down.
836
00:49:33,373 --> 00:49:35,907
Fine. I bought it.
837
00:49:36,299 --> 00:49:37,192
You didn't buy it.
838
00:50:39,569 --> 00:50:40,419
See you later, Adam.
839
00:50:40,420 --> 00:50:42,434
Hey, take it easy Terry.
Good job tonight.
840
00:50:43,498 --> 00:50:44,658
Ready to leave?
841
00:50:45,045 --> 00:50:46,853
- Uh, are you?
- Sure.
842
00:50:47,817 --> 00:50:48,817
See you later.
843
00:50:49,980 --> 00:50:51,645
Well, I can give you
a ride home.
844
00:50:51,646 --> 00:50:54,218
Oh, that's all right, I already have one.
Excuse me just for a second.
845
00:50:57,148 --> 00:50:57,993
Leg rubber.
846
00:50:59,935 --> 00:51:01,422
The clothes on the show
look great.
847
00:51:01,547 --> 00:51:02,547
What are you working on
at the moment?
848
00:51:03,032 --> 00:51:06,459
Well, I'm writing that reality show
called "Assisted Living".
849
00:51:06,938 --> 00:51:08,458
Takes place
in an old age home.
850
00:51:08,908 --> 00:51:10,978
How can it be real
if you're writing it?
851
00:51:11,296 --> 00:51:12,209
Isn't she cute?
852
00:51:13,563 --> 00:51:15,417
- Cracking show.
- Good night.
853
00:51:16,594 --> 00:51:17,294
Thanks, Rosie.
854
00:51:17,295 --> 00:51:19,114
- Thanks for coming.
- Good night.
855
00:51:19,327 --> 00:51:21,124
Bree, excellent episode.
856
00:51:22,097 --> 00:51:23,728
- I'm concerned.
- Why?
857
00:51:23,890 --> 00:51:27,162
I think Adam's broad humor
cheapens your wonderful writing.
858
00:51:28,620 --> 00:51:29,320
Think about it.
859
00:51:30,735 --> 00:51:33,277
Good night.
Nice meeting you, uh...
860
00:51:33,858 --> 00:51:35,724
- ... bat boy.
- Joey.
861
00:51:36,725 --> 00:51:40,716
- Now, take this off.
- No, I feel naked.
862
00:51:40,782 --> 00:51:42,799
Show some skin.
He's just in there.
863
00:51:42,800 --> 00:51:45,880
- My bra straps are showing.
- Don't show 'em to me, show 'em to him.
864
00:51:45,881 --> 00:51:46,581
Good luck.
865
00:51:50,814 --> 00:51:51,576
Here, ma.
866
00:51:53,437 --> 00:51:54,665
I have receipts.
867
00:52:00,184 --> 00:52:02,420
- Is Jeannie gone?
- Everyone's gone.
868
00:52:04,094 --> 00:52:05,887
You know, it's so cool,
I talked to my grandmother,
869
00:52:05,888 --> 00:52:08,577
she invited over all of her neighbors,
she's like the hit of the condo.
870
00:52:11,477 --> 00:52:12,580
You want something
to drink?
871
00:52:13,407 --> 00:52:15,117
Beer. Yeah.
872
00:52:19,300 --> 00:52:21,652
It's weird, you know,
it's like one minute you're watching
873
00:52:21,753 --> 00:52:24,140
Jarred losing weight eating... subways
874
00:52:24,140 --> 00:52:26,993
and... and then it's you.
I don't know.
875
00:52:27,128 --> 00:52:30,016
- Yeah. Pretty heavy stuff.
- Yeah.
876
00:52:35,849 --> 00:52:38,707
- I don't wanna wake up Izzie.
- She's not here. She's with her father.
877
00:52:40,011 --> 00:52:43,359
- When's she coming back?
- Sunday.
878
00:52:43,709 --> 00:52:47,159
- So, we're all alone here?
- Yep.
879
00:52:48,922 --> 00:52:50,046
Just you and me.
880
00:52:53,132 --> 00:52:55,466
Mrs. Robinson, you're trying
to seduce to me.
881
00:52:55,971 --> 00:52:57,766
You would like me
to seduce you?
882
00:52:57,936 --> 00:52:58,636
Yes!
883
00:53:16,128 --> 00:53:19,841
- I've missed you.
- I've missed you too.
884
00:53:29,580 --> 00:53:31,652
You are so... dead.
885
00:54:01,964 --> 00:54:04,933
Nice... lovely... frame.
Get up, get up, get up, get up.
886
00:54:05,464 --> 00:54:07,559
Oh yes, yes.
Uh-uh.
887
00:54:14,709 --> 00:54:16,565
Yes! Yes! Yes! Yes!
888
00:54:16,967 --> 00:54:18,911
Don't answer that.
889
00:54:18,912 --> 00:54:19,776
That's my mom.
890
00:54:20,328 --> 00:54:21,695
I'm so... Hey, mom.
891
00:54:21,696 --> 00:54:23,803
- Guess what your father did?
- Yeah, look can I call you back?
892
00:54:55,801 --> 00:54:58,609
Oh, shit, I left
my condoms in the car.
893
00:54:58,828 --> 00:54:59,624
Wait here.
894
00:55:03,517 --> 00:55:07,886
You know, one day frat boy here is
gonna wanna get somebody pregnant.
895
00:55:08,408 --> 00:55:09,108
So?
896
00:55:09,204 --> 00:55:10,862
So, by the time he's ready,
897
00:55:11,217 --> 00:55:14,203
you're gonna be as brittle
as those rice cakes you live on.
898
00:55:14,368 --> 00:55:16,414
There's more to love
than having babies.
899
00:55:16,564 --> 00:55:19,685
- He's just using you.
- That is so wrong.
900
00:55:20,400 --> 00:55:22,026
He already has the job.
901
00:55:22,056 --> 00:55:23,747
Let me in,
I forgot my keys.
902
00:55:24,875 --> 00:55:27,189
You'd loose your head
if it wasn't attached.
903
00:55:43,374 --> 00:55:45,029
Give this to Adam,
would you?
904
00:55:45,340 --> 00:55:46,040
That's this?
905
00:55:46,272 --> 00:55:48,155
We collected his real phone
by accident.
906
00:55:49,154 --> 00:55:50,462
- Tell him I'm sorry.
- Okay, sure.
907
00:56:13,665 --> 00:56:15,776
Well,
we got a 7.2 rating.
908
00:56:15,777 --> 00:56:17,888
Yeah, but David Spade
got twice as much.
909
00:56:18,181 --> 00:56:20,599
Yes. But you have
to look at the lead-in.
910
00:56:20,611 --> 00:56:23,394
See, even though
their numbers look higher
911
00:56:23,395 --> 00:56:25,730
we went up from
"Candy Stripers". So...
912
00:56:26,801 --> 00:56:28,360
You understand
how TV works now?
913
00:56:28,361 --> 00:56:30,567
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Everyone loves David Spade.
914
00:56:31,141 --> 00:56:35,167
Would you forget about David Spade?
Anyway, we went up 2 points.
915
00:56:35,328 --> 00:56:37,336
They have to be happy
about that.
916
00:56:37,922 --> 00:56:39,368
What do you love most
about me?
917
00:56:41,418 --> 00:56:42,847
Who said I love you?
918
00:56:43,149 --> 00:56:44,919
Oh, come on.
It's obvious.
919
00:56:45,730 --> 00:56:48,457
I'm not saying that.
First.
920
00:56:48,819 --> 00:56:50,958
- What if we tell...
- Oh, my God.
921
00:56:50,966 --> 00:56:52,433
Weren't you on
"You Go, Girl" this week?
922
00:56:52,581 --> 00:56:53,878
You were so funny.
923
00:56:54,938 --> 00:56:58,193
Oh, that scene where they teach you
to dance was so funny.
924
00:56:58,194 --> 00:56:58,894
Thank you.
925
00:56:59,237 --> 00:57:00,931
I mean, I don't usually
watch "You Go, Girl".
926
00:57:00,932 --> 00:57:03,495
- It's gone so downhill.
- Oh, I don't know about that.
927
00:57:03,813 --> 00:57:06,393
But that episode,
was the best in months.
928
00:57:06,409 --> 00:57:07,753
Is that the check?
929
00:57:08,116 --> 00:57:10,659
- Can I give this you?
- Yeah, sure.
930
00:57:12,162 --> 00:57:13,496
She was great.
931
00:57:14,757 --> 00:57:16,736
Did you know Marty Green?
He's the president of...
932
00:57:16,736 --> 00:57:18,178
- ... comedy development
- Comedy. Yeah I know him.
933
00:57:18,290 --> 00:57:20,604
He wants me to go with 'im
to the network on Friday.
934
00:57:21,013 --> 00:57:23,317
- A new show or...
- I don't know.
935
00:57:24,567 --> 00:57:26,665
It was so great
meeting you.
936
00:57:26,957 --> 00:57:28,624
I hope you don't think
this is too pushy
937
00:57:28,624 --> 00:57:30,738
but I'd love to give you
my head shot.
938
00:57:31,687 --> 00:57:33,148
Uh, also I have a reel.
939
00:57:33,458 --> 00:57:36,930
And I'm studying the Misner method...
with Jeff Goldblum.
940
00:57:38,189 --> 00:57:40,347
Maybe you could give it
to the "You Go, Girl" people.
941
00:57:43,132 --> 00:57:45,129
Well, I put my number there.
Look.
942
00:57:46,062 --> 00:57:46,762
Thanks.
943
00:57:49,945 --> 00:57:53,548
He's had a little taste of fame and now
it's time to see what it can get 'im.
944
00:57:54,286 --> 00:57:55,755
He's not interested.
945
00:57:56,826 --> 00:57:58,583
Let me show you
something.
946
00:58:01,144 --> 00:58:04,145
Notice the large
hip-to-waist ratio.
947
00:58:04,190 --> 00:58:05,295
That's not his type.
948
00:58:05,407 --> 00:58:08,617
Fertility is everyone's type
whether they realize it or not.
949
00:58:08,726 --> 00:58:11,792
This butt is screaming estrogen.
950
00:58:12,104 --> 00:58:14,764
Not to mention her odor
and excess body hair.
951
00:58:15,045 --> 00:58:18,486
Now she can starve it, she can wax it,
she can deodorize it,
952
00:58:18,487 --> 00:58:20,637
but he will pick up
the signals.
953
00:58:20,638 --> 00:58:24,459
Signals your body isn't sending.
No matter how well you preserve it.
954
00:58:24,549 --> 00:58:26,787
That's how it is
for animals, not us.
955
00:58:27,820 --> 00:58:29,090
You're hopeless!
956
00:58:29,583 --> 00:58:30,800
Are these any good?
957
00:58:31,984 --> 00:58:33,451
Well, the coffee came
really fast.
958
00:58:37,235 --> 00:58:39,560
If you send 140 dollars,
959
00:58:39,561 --> 00:58:42,433
how much is the flower
per pound? I don't know.
960
00:58:42,681 --> 00:58:44,177
You didn't even try.
961
00:58:44,377 --> 00:58:46,963
I mean, even if I get it right,
Mr. Skinner says
962
00:58:46,964 --> 00:58:49,953
that I didn't figure it out
the right way. I hate math.
963
00:58:49,954 --> 00:58:51,785
If you eat 3 cookies,
964
00:58:51,942 --> 00:58:55,957
and a 50-calorie plum
and you've had 140 calories,
965
00:58:56,267 --> 00:58:57,905
- how many in one cookie?
- 30.
966
00:58:58,220 --> 00:58:59,068
Right.
967
00:58:59,725 --> 00:59:01,274
So, why do they make it
so hard?
968
00:59:02,338 --> 00:59:04,803
Did Adam call?
Cause I think he's coming over.
969
00:59:05,884 --> 00:59:07,132
Ma, your purse is ringing.
970
00:59:09,575 --> 00:59:10,884
Oh, that's Adam's phone.
971
00:59:11,190 --> 00:59:12,940
Hotshemama!
972
00:59:13,132 --> 00:59:14,781
Is that the new
"You Go, Girl" poster?
973
00:59:17,142 --> 00:59:21,016
No, that's... Brianna
in a bedroom with someone.
974
00:59:21,717 --> 00:59:24,361
Well, I'm not gonna help you pack,
so don't go there.
975
00:59:24,608 --> 00:59:26,239
Someone
just sent it to him.
976
00:59:26,292 --> 00:59:29,176
If this was sent to the phone,
wouldn't it be in a...
977
00:59:29,554 --> 00:59:32,325
a message place? I mean,
how did it get to be there
978
00:59:32,325 --> 00:59:33,100
when you turn it on?
979
00:59:33,283 --> 00:59:35,825
How did TiVo know
that you like "South Park"?
980
00:59:36,062 --> 00:59:39,007
How did they get "Baby's Got Back"
to be a ring tone?
981
00:59:39,007 --> 00:59:40,473
Okay, I won't jump
to any conclusions.
982
00:59:40,473 --> 00:59:42,093
I'll... I'll talk to him about it.
983
00:59:42,180 --> 00:59:43,267
Honey!?
984
00:59:44,078 --> 00:59:46,220
I'm home!
985
00:59:46,379 --> 00:59:47,407
Alone.
986
00:59:49,539 --> 00:59:51,182
Starring Macaulay Culkin
987
00:59:51,304 --> 00:59:53,537
as a boy who was
inadvertently left
988
00:59:53,813 --> 00:59:54,556
by himself
989
00:59:55,681 --> 00:59:56,815
at his house
990
00:59:57,418 --> 01:00:00,469
when his parents go on vacat...
What are you making?
991
01:00:03,408 --> 01:00:05,905
My phone.
I've been looking for...
992
01:00:07,157 --> 01:00:08,349
When'd you did this?
993
01:00:11,090 --> 01:00:13,251
You are right,
he isn't cheating!
994
01:00:13,327 --> 01:00:14,233
How'd you tell?
995
01:00:14,333 --> 01:00:15,762
He's not
that good an actor.
996
01:00:20,102 --> 01:00:20,802
Guys!
997
01:00:24,747 --> 01:00:26,544
Guys, can we finish this?
998
01:00:26,545 --> 01:00:27,545
What for?
999
01:00:27,818 --> 01:00:29,557
So we can make
the show better.
1000
01:00:29,558 --> 01:00:30,965
The writing's on the wall.
1001
01:00:31,385 --> 01:00:33,410
Come on,
for the shorties.
1002
01:00:33,411 --> 01:00:35,157
Okay, Tray's band
is blowing up
1003
01:00:35,157 --> 01:00:38,724
and Yomena feels unappreciated
and she says...
1004
01:00:38,988 --> 01:00:41,448
- Where's Rosencrantz and O'Reilly?
- Mail.
1005
01:00:41,709 --> 01:00:43,299
They had a meeting
with Marty.
1006
01:00:43,480 --> 01:00:45,405
And they were wearing
jackets.
1007
01:00:46,211 --> 01:00:47,663
A network meeting?
1008
01:00:51,799 --> 01:00:52,526
Oh, look!
1009
01:00:52,828 --> 01:00:55,291
I never got one of those
picture tickets befo...
1010
01:01:00,518 --> 01:01:03,071
- It's so great you're doing this.
- Anything for the kids.
1011
01:01:03,072 --> 01:01:05,328
Hey, have you and Adam
been seeing each other?
1012
01:01:05,851 --> 01:01:06,551
No.
1013
01:01:06,785 --> 01:01:07,990
Is this
what you're wearing?
1014
01:01:08,266 --> 01:01:09,522
- Yeah. Yeah.
- It's great.
1015
01:01:09,622 --> 01:01:12,974
Not even just friendly,
going places, driving around...
1016
01:01:13,181 --> 01:01:13,881
Rosie.
1017
01:01:13,882 --> 01:01:15,186
Hey, she's here.
1018
01:01:15,337 --> 01:01:16,037
You sure?
1019
01:01:16,739 --> 01:01:19,193
I may be a lot of things
but I'm not a liar.
1020
01:01:19,194 --> 01:01:21,628
- Hey, thank you so much for doing this.
- Sure.
1021
01:01:24,926 --> 01:01:26,484
- TSA, take one.
- Action.
1022
01:01:26,922 --> 01:01:30,077
I would never ever
date a smoker.
1023
01:01:30,758 --> 01:01:32,657
- Cut.
- Great. Check it.
1024
01:01:36,597 --> 01:01:37,573
Be with you
in a minute.
1025
01:01:37,574 --> 01:01:39,625
- Courtney Love?
- Drop-out hag.
1026
01:01:39,626 --> 01:01:40,326
Fay Dunaway?
1027
01:01:40,327 --> 01:01:42,022
- Don't call us, we'll call you.
- Sharon Stone?
1028
01:01:42,023 --> 01:01:42,723
Hag.
1029
01:01:42,724 --> 01:01:43,724
- Geena Davis?
- Hag.
1030
01:01:43,725 --> 01:01:45,014
- Sigourney Weaver?
- Hag.
1031
01:01:45,015 --> 01:01:46,107
- Kim Basinger?
- Hag.
1032
01:01:46,108 --> 01:01:47,540
- Emma Thompson?
- Britt hag.
1033
01:01:47,646 --> 01:01:50,376
- Susan Sarandon?
- Richly alienated hag.
1034
01:01:50,377 --> 01:01:51,220
Meg Ryan?
1035
01:01:51,839 --> 01:01:52,978
Too much plastic surgery.
1036
01:01:52,979 --> 01:01:54,019
Melanie Griffith?
1037
01:01:54,020 --> 01:01:55,491
Way too much
plastic surgery.
1038
01:01:55,492 --> 01:01:57,772
- Patricia Heaton?
- Pointless plastic surgery.
1039
01:01:58,096 --> 01:01:58,796
Cher.
1040
01:01:59,302 --> 01:02:01,621
Insurmountable amount
of plastic surgery.
1041
01:02:02,248 --> 01:02:04,058
Listen,
you little bird of a man,
1042
01:02:04,058 --> 01:02:06,656
where do you come off
insulting these women?
1043
01:02:06,691 --> 01:02:09,730
How many good songs did you sing?
How many Oscars do you have?
1044
01:02:09,819 --> 01:02:11,639
Could you look cute
next to Warren Beatty,
1045
01:02:11,640 --> 01:02:13,708
or live with Don Johnson,
or act with Ted Danson?
1046
01:02:13,834 --> 01:02:16,465
You're not worthy of
kissing Cher's tattooed ass.
1047
01:02:16,751 --> 01:02:17,872
He'll see you now.
1048
01:02:20,655 --> 01:02:21,906
Hey, you look great.
1049
01:02:23,670 --> 01:02:24,587
How's Lizzie?
1050
01:02:25,335 --> 01:02:27,782
If you're asking me about my kid,
something must be wrong.
1051
01:02:28,101 --> 01:02:29,634
Okay, I won't BS you.
1052
01:02:30,358 --> 01:02:33,159
There's fewer and fewer
spots for scripted shows.
1053
01:02:33,160 --> 01:02:35,961
They're expensive dinosaurs.
No one cares.
1054
01:02:35,972 --> 01:02:37,357
"Two And A Half Men"?
1055
01:02:37,423 --> 01:02:39,372
Older woman,
the least desirable demo.
1056
01:02:39,373 --> 01:02:42,885
If we want the kids, we gotta
be cutting-edge and off-the-chain.
1057
01:02:42,979 --> 01:02:44,820
That means
music and clothes.
1058
01:02:45,143 --> 01:02:46,856
You keep
lowering our budget.
1059
01:02:46,920 --> 01:02:48,942
Face it,
"You Go, Girl" is...
1060
01:02:49,778 --> 01:02:50,692
straight played.
1061
01:02:50,877 --> 01:02:53,393
I'd rather tell you now
since we're friends than...
1062
01:02:54,067 --> 01:02:56,582
So, you're replacing me
with a reality show.
1063
01:02:57,509 --> 01:02:59,602
Actually, we got a sitcom
for that slot.
1064
01:02:59,990 --> 01:03:02,402
Two hip young writers,
Rosencrantz and O'Reilly,
1065
01:03:02,403 --> 01:03:05,465
have created a show for
this... hip new funny kid, uh...
1066
01:03:05,466 --> 01:03:07,814
Oh, wait, you know 'im.
Adam Pearl.
1067
01:03:09,109 --> 01:03:10,912
It's called "The Shizzle".
1068
01:03:11,927 --> 01:03:12,825
"The Shizzle"?
1069
01:03:13,323 --> 01:03:17,030
"The Shizzle".
It means the new cool stuff.
1070
01:03:17,100 --> 01:03:19,372
No, it doesn't,
it means shit!
1071
01:03:19,705 --> 01:03:23,137
I can't say anything and
you can name a show after shit?!
1072
01:03:23,467 --> 01:03:24,787
How do you like that?
1073
01:03:25,601 --> 01:03:27,386
Good luck. I'm sure
it'll live up to its name.
1074
01:03:27,736 --> 01:03:28,877
Thanks for your support.
1075
01:03:34,918 --> 01:03:35,700
Rosie!
1076
01:03:35,928 --> 01:03:38,123
Hey! Henry!
1077
01:03:38,422 --> 01:03:40,032
See? You should
have been Pinkey.
1078
01:03:40,126 --> 01:03:42,788
Congratulations on your show.
It's really funny.
1079
01:03:42,789 --> 01:03:44,724
- Thank you. We're having a great time.
- My kid loves it too.
1080
01:03:44,990 --> 01:03:46,597
Oh, yeah,
talking about your kid...
1081
01:03:46,602 --> 01:03:48,374
I think she got hold of
your phone book.
1082
01:03:48,374 --> 01:03:49,945
I got some crank calls.
1083
01:03:50,107 --> 01:03:51,178
- You know.
- What?
1084
01:03:51,179 --> 01:03:53,231
Yeah and, now,
listen, I don't mind.
1085
01:03:53,232 --> 01:03:55,494
But if she calls an executive
with no sense of humor...
1086
01:03:55,495 --> 01:03:58,844
Oh, my God. I am so sorry.
No, no, no, no, it won't happen again.
1087
01:03:58,845 --> 01:04:01,609
Believe me, I understand.
My kids still do it and their in their 20's.
1088
01:04:01,851 --> 01:04:03,260
- I'm glad to see you.
- You too.
1089
01:04:04,033 --> 01:04:05,599
- You look great.
- Thanks.
1090
01:04:08,699 --> 01:04:10,934
- We're sorry.
- I can't believe you did such a thing.
1091
01:04:11,398 --> 01:04:12,554
What were you thinking?
1092
01:04:13,009 --> 01:04:13,709
Nothing.
1093
01:04:13,710 --> 01:04:16,669
Was it just Henry Winkler?
Who else did you call?
1094
01:04:16,719 --> 01:04:17,999
- Jerry Stiller.
- No one.
1095
01:04:18,790 --> 01:04:19,779
Who else?
1096
01:04:20,007 --> 01:04:24,957
Andy Dick, Justine Bateman,
Kirstie Alley, Heather Graham...
1097
01:04:24,958 --> 01:04:26,446
David Hyde Pierce...
1098
01:04:27,944 --> 01:04:29,232
- Johnny Knoxville.
- Right.
1099
01:04:29,321 --> 01:04:31,433
Mel, I think you should
go home now.
1100
01:04:31,765 --> 01:04:32,465
I'm sorry.
1101
01:04:36,809 --> 01:04:39,450
This makes me look
like such an idiot.
1102
01:04:40,108 --> 01:04:41,662
If you have
someone's home number
1103
01:04:41,663 --> 01:04:44,764
it's because they trust you
to protect their privacy.
1104
01:04:45,351 --> 01:04:47,505
Now, I look
totally unprofessional.
1105
01:04:47,561 --> 01:04:48,261
I'm sorry.
1106
01:04:48,558 --> 01:04:49,701
What am I gonna do
with you?
1107
01:04:50,405 --> 01:04:51,862
You could punish to me.
1108
01:04:51,884 --> 01:04:54,808
Like... I could write an apology
to everyone I called
1109
01:04:54,809 --> 01:04:56,484
and not use the phone
for a week.
1110
01:04:58,241 --> 01:04:59,208
A month.
1111
01:05:00,060 --> 01:05:02,530
That's excessive.
Two weeks.
1112
01:05:02,902 --> 01:05:03,624
Okay.
1113
01:05:04,424 --> 01:05:06,161
Hey, what's going on
all of a sudden?
1114
01:05:06,161 --> 01:05:08,690
Everyone I take care of
is turning on me.
1115
01:05:09,442 --> 01:05:12,431
Mom,
you're globalizing.
1116
01:05:44,140 --> 01:05:48,339
Weird subjects in this night,
forces of love's pure light.
1117
01:05:48,812 --> 01:05:51,143
Why is it so dark in here?
What...
1118
01:05:51,366 --> 01:05:53,199
What are you guys doing?
1119
01:05:53,505 --> 01:05:55,640
- Putting a spell on Dylan.
- We're witches.
1120
01:05:55,641 --> 01:05:56,766
That's so sad.
1121
01:05:57,078 --> 01:05:58,179
Don't worry, ma,
1122
01:05:58,179 --> 01:06:01,673
we're not Satan-worshiping
human-sacrificing witches.
1123
01:06:01,933 --> 01:06:04,565
- We're black mini-skirt witches.
- Like in "The Craft".
1124
01:06:04,578 --> 01:06:06,762
It's just lousy that
the only way teenage girls
1125
01:06:06,763 --> 01:06:10,753
can feel in control is
to be anorexic or... witches.
1126
01:06:11,849 --> 01:06:13,322
How do you do this,
anyway?
1127
01:06:13,662 --> 01:06:15,562
If you want to sell in
your true love
1128
01:06:15,563 --> 01:06:17,019
you grind coriander seeds
1129
01:06:17,020 --> 01:06:19,789
while you chant to light
candles anointed with love oil.
1130
01:06:20,162 --> 01:06:20,958
Love oil?
1131
01:06:21,688 --> 01:06:23,377
You used
canola instead.
1132
01:06:23,560 --> 01:06:24,503
I am hungry.
1133
01:06:24,819 --> 01:06:27,099
Let's get some Coco Crispies
to hold us over.
1134
01:06:27,577 --> 01:06:29,246
- You the letters right?
- From Zack.
1135
01:06:34,137 --> 01:06:38,340
Come together.
Let this grinding be a tether.
1136
01:06:43,765 --> 01:06:45,227
Were have you been?
I've been calling,
1137
01:06:45,227 --> 01:06:47,040
I've been e-mailing,
text messaging...
1138
01:06:47,075 --> 01:06:49,372
I've been dying to tell you something.
Marty said I should wait.
1139
01:06:49,769 --> 01:06:51,549
- Marty?
- Yeah.
1140
01:06:52,536 --> 01:06:55,939
What, cause he didn't want me
upset until the shows were done?
1141
01:06:56,278 --> 01:06:58,469
- I don't know.
- Unbelievable.
1142
01:06:58,469 --> 01:06:59,235
Hey, listen...
1143
01:07:01,153 --> 01:07:04,048
Listen, they want me to
do a mid-season pilot.
1144
01:07:04,496 --> 01:07:07,192
Okay, well, what's that got to do
with what you have to tell me?
1145
01:07:07,271 --> 01:07:09,116
That's it.
It is what I have to tell you.
1146
01:07:09,452 --> 01:07:11,936
- What about Brianna?
- What about her?
1147
01:07:12,201 --> 01:07:15,626
Don't make me look like an idiot.
I know what's going on.
1148
01:07:15,847 --> 01:07:18,281
If you guys are
getting involved, don't....
1149
01:07:18,412 --> 01:07:20,933
Don't hang around and
pretend you care about me.
1150
01:07:20,968 --> 01:07:22,506
What?
Where's this coming from?
1151
01:07:26,350 --> 01:07:27,442
This came in the mail.
1152
01:07:30,054 --> 01:07:32,596
Well, this is craz... Someone's
obviously screwing with you.
1153
01:07:32,683 --> 01:07:33,811
That's what I thought.
1154
01:07:33,976 --> 01:07:36,281
Someone must be screwing with
me by playing with your phone.
1155
01:07:36,282 --> 01:07:38,586
But is the department of motor
vehicles screwing with me?
1156
01:07:38,691 --> 01:07:41,406
And... is the sound department
also screwing with me
1157
01:07:41,407 --> 01:07:43,209
when I heard you
hitting on Brianna?
1158
01:07:43,210 --> 01:07:45,409
Hitting on Brianna! Wha...?
Are you smoking crack?
1159
01:07:45,618 --> 01:07:48,180
- You were flirting with her.
- You told me to.
1160
01:07:48,803 --> 01:07:49,982
Why would I do that?
1161
01:07:50,047 --> 01:07:52,781
Because you said that she needs
to think everyone's crazy about her.
1162
01:07:53,047 --> 01:07:53,979
I never said that.
1163
01:07:54,262 --> 01:07:55,076
That's not what I heard.
1164
01:07:55,077 --> 01:07:56,077
I knew
this would happen.
1165
01:07:56,078 --> 01:07:57,861
You're a big shot.
You're on TV.
1166
01:07:57,862 --> 01:08:00,180
So, you-you have... you-you wanna
get back at all the females
1167
01:08:00,181 --> 01:08:01,643
that didn't appreciate
you in high school
1168
01:08:01,644 --> 01:08:02,344
- so...
- Oh...
1169
01:08:02,345 --> 01:08:05,200
You have to get all the cute
young girls you possibly can.
1170
01:08:05,260 --> 01:08:08,029
I don't want cute young girls!
I want you!
1171
01:08:09,453 --> 01:08:10,839
- You know what I mean.
- All right. Get out!
1172
01:08:10,979 --> 01:08:13,690
I am too old for these...
high school dramatics.
1173
01:08:13,691 --> 01:08:14,691
You're the one
that's acting adolescent.
1174
01:08:14,692 --> 01:08:16,276
I'm upset,
not acting adolescent.
1175
01:08:16,276 --> 01:08:17,255
Hey, how you two kids
getting along?
1176
01:08:17,255 --> 01:08:20,051
Oh, God, please tell me
you're wearing shorts under that.
1177
01:08:20,225 --> 01:08:22,989
Yes. But there just cut
really high.
1178
01:08:23,009 --> 01:08:25,771
Dude, besides, I've got
good legs and a great butt.
1179
01:08:26,408 --> 01:08:28,080
Yeah, well, you know,
that's what everyone says.
1180
01:08:28,081 --> 01:08:31,935
- "There's Nathan, what an ass."
- Uh, hey, uh,don't let me interrupt.
1181
01:08:32,004 --> 01:08:33,608
- He was just leaving.
- No, I wasn't.
1182
01:08:33,609 --> 01:08:36,424
Get out! We are done
with this discussion!
1183
01:08:36,703 --> 01:08:38,339
You can tell
when she's really angry,
1184
01:08:38,535 --> 01:08:40,318
her voice gets
all high and squeaky.
1185
01:08:40,353 --> 01:08:40,912
Yeah.
1186
01:08:40,920 --> 01:08:42,595
Look, I'll admit that
something sketchy's going on.
1187
01:08:42,596 --> 01:08:44,085
And I've never even been
in a car with Brianna.
1188
01:08:44,143 --> 01:08:46,670
But if you don't believe me,
we've got serious trust issues.
1189
01:08:46,784 --> 01:08:48,551
Exactly!
I always said that.
1190
01:08:48,906 --> 01:08:52,301
- What has this got to do with you?
- Only everything.
1191
01:08:52,411 --> 01:08:54,250
This is the first guy
you've dated in 10 years
1192
01:08:54,250 --> 01:08:55,814
I can actually
hang out with.
1193
01:08:55,977 --> 01:08:58,267
And I do not want you
making the same mistakes with him
1194
01:08:58,267 --> 01:08:59,545
that you made with me.
1195
01:08:59,701 --> 01:09:02,434
I am trying to be...
Bruce Willisy.
1196
01:09:03,618 --> 01:09:05,777
Which is great because
I'm trying to be Ashton.
1197
01:09:06,925 --> 01:09:08,959
Which in turn
would make her, uh... Demi.
1198
01:09:09,244 --> 01:09:11,707
Yeah, or Demi, or Dem...
no, I think Dem...
1199
01:09:11,707 --> 01:09:13,213
One which is Demi...
But I actually know it's....
1200
01:09:13,250 --> 01:09:15,765
- Yeah, the thing is Demi. Well, um...
- Is she nice?
1201
01:09:15,766 --> 01:09:17,807
Yeah, she's very nice.
But I think she's a Demi.
1202
01:09:17,808 --> 01:09:19,702
I don't think she cares
if... she's a Demi.
1203
01:09:19,702 --> 01:09:21,500
What are you two idiots
talking about?
1204
01:09:21,665 --> 01:09:24,849
I am not Demi!
You are not Ashton! And you...
1205
01:09:25,300 --> 01:09:27,396
are definitely not
Bruce Willis!
1206
01:09:27,572 --> 01:09:28,865
- See how high it gets?
- Yeah.
1207
01:09:28,970 --> 01:09:31,742
After my bachelor party,
only dogs could hear it.
1208
01:09:31,742 --> 01:09:32,557
I believe it.
1209
01:09:32,808 --> 01:09:35,450
Look, this is crazy. All right, I'll....
Let's... let's just calm down.
1210
01:09:35,451 --> 01:09:36,596
- Get out!
- No!
1211
01:09:36,597 --> 01:09:37,297
Go!
1212
01:09:38,425 --> 01:09:40,011
I'm going...
Okay, I'm gonna go. But...
1213
01:09:40,012 --> 01:09:41,623
we're not done here.
I'm gonna call you.
1214
01:09:42,853 --> 01:09:44,746
- Hey...
- No!
1215
01:09:44,915 --> 01:09:46,363
You were gonna
throw it anyway.
1216
01:09:46,783 --> 01:09:48,286
- Fine.
- Thank you.
1217
01:09:49,083 --> 01:09:51,154
Izzie!
Let's go, honey.
1218
01:09:51,564 --> 01:09:53,780
No boyfriend, no job...
1219
01:09:54,417 --> 01:09:57,558
Just a lonely spinster
with a kid. You happy now?
1220
01:09:58,512 --> 01:10:00,107
I'm watching,
just a minute.
1221
01:10:00,599 --> 01:10:02,071
You know, this makes
a lot of sense,
1222
01:10:02,249 --> 01:10:05,293
Mrs. Robinson is
sophisticated and gorgeous.
1223
01:10:05,712 --> 01:10:08,447
She gives this kid
the best sex of his life,
1224
01:10:08,448 --> 01:10:10,418
asks for nothing in return,
1225
01:10:10,424 --> 01:10:12,858
he... pulls a Soon-Ye,
dumps her,
1226
01:10:13,080 --> 01:10:15,219
and she's supposed
to be the monster.
1227
01:10:17,570 --> 01:10:20,012
Could you not get
crumbs all over?
1228
01:10:21,127 --> 01:10:24,940
Why? It's not as if anybody
sleeps on this side of the bed.
1229
01:10:41,835 --> 01:10:42,665
What's wrong?
1230
01:10:42,816 --> 01:10:45,226
Why does something
have to be wrong?
1231
01:10:45,705 --> 01:10:46,574
Okay.
1232
01:10:50,410 --> 01:10:52,998
Katy is such a bitch!
1233
01:10:53,299 --> 01:10:56,007
She's standing by the snack truck
and she tells everyone:
1234
01:10:56,008 --> 01:10:57,830
"I think I'll go out
with Dylan".
1235
01:10:57,831 --> 01:11:00,976
And she knows I love him,
cause Colin told her.
1236
01:11:01,275 --> 01:11:03,315
So Melanie says "You know
that Izzie likes him."
1237
01:11:03,316 --> 01:11:04,030
And she goes
1238
01:11:04,031 --> 01:11:07,454
"Yeah, well, just cause Izzie likes 'im
doesn't make them a couple."
1239
01:11:07,819 --> 01:11:09,077
Can you believe her?
1240
01:11:09,271 --> 01:11:12,726
She doesn't even like him.
She's just jocking me.
1241
01:11:12,970 --> 01:11:14,062
What's "jocking"?
1242
01:11:14,423 --> 01:11:17,295
Copying,
and don't put it in your show.
1243
01:11:17,529 --> 01:11:19,397
Did you tell Katy
how you feel?
1244
01:11:19,808 --> 01:11:20,508
No.
1245
01:11:22,012 --> 01:11:23,549
Can I change my name
to Drew?
1246
01:11:24,123 --> 01:11:25,647
What's wrong with Izzie?
1247
01:11:25,886 --> 01:11:28,480
Nothing. Could you just
call me Drew from now on?
1248
01:11:34,621 --> 01:11:37,478
I hate this place.
Why do I have to try on pants?
1249
01:11:37,578 --> 01:11:40,048
You can't keep wearing
the same ratty jeans everyday.
1250
01:11:40,049 --> 01:11:41,173
Why don't we just buy them?
1251
01:11:41,273 --> 01:11:44,731
I don't feel like driving back and forth
1000 times exchanging them.
1252
01:11:47,628 --> 01:11:49,303
I look like a cow.
1253
01:11:49,480 --> 01:11:50,791
Does the waist fit?
1254
01:11:51,601 --> 01:11:55,025
- Their humongous.
- I-I just need to see the waist size.
1255
01:11:55,074 --> 01:11:56,264
They don't fit.
1256
01:12:01,747 --> 01:12:03,542
- Their too small for me.
- They look good.
1257
01:12:03,954 --> 01:12:05,641
- They won't close.
- Oh.
1258
01:12:05,758 --> 01:12:08,267
- Well, what's the length?
- There tight, ma, forget it.
1259
01:12:08,687 --> 01:12:09,483
I'm too fat!
1260
01:12:09,958 --> 01:12:12,817
My belly is gigantic!
You wouldn't understand!
1261
01:12:12,928 --> 01:12:15,191
You've got a flat stomach
and you're pretty.
1262
01:12:15,192 --> 01:12:19,811
No, honey, no, my face is falling down.
Everything is drying out. I'm...
1263
01:12:20,513 --> 01:12:22,843
I'm hurdling toward
Cloris Leachman.
1264
01:12:23,088 --> 01:12:26,256
You're young.
You're like a fresh new peach.
1265
01:12:27,100 --> 01:12:30,035
Izzie, you're beautiful.
Don't you get it?
1266
01:12:30,036 --> 01:12:32,993
I'm not beautiful!
I'm not even cute!
1267
01:12:33,057 --> 01:12:34,388
I'm an ugly pig!
1268
01:12:40,150 --> 01:12:41,871
Oooh, waggle string.
1269
01:12:42,530 --> 01:12:43,683
Can I have these?
1270
01:12:45,543 --> 01:12:46,510
Yeah.
1271
01:12:47,402 --> 01:12:48,785
Bet Adam sent them.
1272
01:12:52,522 --> 01:12:55,534
All right, what's the deal, you?
Why aren't you on the set?
1273
01:12:56,258 --> 01:12:57,418
This is shit.
1274
01:12:57,753 --> 01:13:00,044
Look, you told me you'd get me
the "You Go, Girl" writers.
1275
01:13:00,045 --> 01:13:00,982
But you didn't
get me Rosie.
1276
01:13:01,126 --> 01:13:03,547
That's a whole extra producer.
I don't need that.
1277
01:13:03,613 --> 01:13:05,512
When I took this job,
you promised me
1278
01:13:05,512 --> 01:13:07,145
the whole
"You Go, Girl" group.
1279
01:13:07,199 --> 01:13:08,782
You got
those two writers.
1280
01:13:08,867 --> 01:13:10,155
Yeah, but that's not
the group.
1281
01:13:10,447 --> 01:13:13,268
That's like... giving me
the News minus Huey Lewis.
1282
01:13:13,331 --> 01:13:16,397
Look. kid. you are blowing
a ginormous chance.
1283
01:13:16,403 --> 01:13:19,709
You're gonna give up your big shot
to... be loyal to some broad?
1284
01:13:19,710 --> 01:13:21,066
Is that how
you wanna roll?
1285
01:13:21,068 --> 01:13:24,322
As a matter of fact, Sinatra,
that's exactly how I wanna roll.
1286
01:13:25,234 --> 01:13:26,807
I'll be back
when you get her.
1287
01:13:27,619 --> 01:13:29,401
Hey, Dawson,
1288
01:13:29,402 --> 01:13:30,699
let me give you
some advice.
1289
01:13:30,700 --> 01:13:33,032
You're gonna wanna
cut those apron strings.
1290
01:13:33,033 --> 01:13:35,170
Otherwise, you're never gonna
be a real man.
1291
01:13:35,319 --> 01:13:38,321
I don't need to be a real man.
I'm an actor.
1292
01:13:40,309 --> 01:13:41,219
Ma?!
1293
01:13:43,236 --> 01:13:43,936
Hey,
1294
01:13:44,252 --> 01:13:46,891
don't you wanna make me
a high fiber breakfast?
1295
01:13:47,414 --> 01:13:49,554
Like you would ever
eat such a thing.
1296
01:13:49,956 --> 01:13:51,690
Just have
your Lucky Charms.
1297
01:14:08,304 --> 01:14:09,083
Hello.
1298
01:14:09,142 --> 01:14:13,779
Hey... Ha-ha-ha, that's quite
a Frankenstein you created there.
1299
01:14:13,879 --> 01:14:15,406
What are you talking about?
1300
01:14:15,445 --> 01:14:18,275
That Adam kid.
He doesn't like the scripts. He...
1301
01:14:18,365 --> 01:14:21,344
don't take direction. They tell me
he doesn't trust anyone but you.
1302
01:14:22,598 --> 01:14:25,162
So, I'm thinking, maybe
you'd like to come down
1303
01:14:25,163 --> 01:14:28,160
and be supervising
producer on "The Shizzle."
1304
01:14:28,890 --> 01:14:31,291
I'm thinking...
maybe not.
1305
01:14:31,681 --> 01:14:33,768
You're thinking...
maybe not?
1306
01:14:34,094 --> 01:14:35,727
Maybe not?!
1307
01:14:35,910 --> 01:14:37,558
Well, I'm thinking... shit!
1308
01:14:47,886 --> 01:14:51,432
Strutting bucks walk shoulder
to shoulder sizing each other up.
1309
01:14:52,111 --> 01:14:55,375
While the females wait to attach
themselves to the strongest males.
1310
01:14:55,758 --> 01:14:58,063
Bucks lock antlers
in mortal combat.
1311
01:14:59,144 --> 01:15:00,740
Whoever is victorious
will impregnate
1312
01:15:00,740 --> 01:15:02,938
the treatful females
of the herd.
1313
01:15:03,529 --> 01:15:06,648
The challenger leaves in humiliation
without sowing his seed.
1314
01:15:06,945 --> 01:15:08,177
So that's how it is.
1315
01:15:08,400 --> 01:15:11,663
Most powerful male gets
most babalicious female.
1316
01:15:11,669 --> 01:15:12,410
That's right.
1317
01:15:13,637 --> 01:15:16,701
Well, what if there's
a really cute male antelope
1318
01:15:16,702 --> 01:15:19,420
or a female that shows
signs of leadership?
1319
01:15:19,610 --> 01:15:20,557
- Useless
- Why?
1320
01:15:20,968 --> 01:15:24,014
Look, there's an order
to this mayhem business.
1321
01:15:24,152 --> 01:15:25,821
Why can't we change things?
1322
01:15:26,018 --> 01:15:30,134
Haven't you self-centered pet-cloning
assholes changed enough?
1323
01:15:30,303 --> 01:15:31,468
It's not natural.
1324
01:15:31,568 --> 01:15:33,289
What's so great
about natural?
1325
01:15:33,364 --> 01:15:34,461
- What?
- Think about it.
1326
01:15:34,916 --> 01:15:35,977
Tobacco's natural.
1327
01:15:35,978 --> 01:15:38,377
Prozac's unnatural.
Earthquakes are natural.
1328
01:15:38,378 --> 01:15:39,709
Television's unnatural.
1329
01:15:40,264 --> 01:15:41,676
Natural sucks.
1330
01:15:42,841 --> 01:15:44,747
She can't seem
to stay on task.
1331
01:15:44,748 --> 01:15:48,599
Her homework is tardy.
Her language is crude.
1332
01:15:48,666 --> 01:15:52,105
Also, there's far too much
socializing with her neighbors.
1333
01:15:52,106 --> 01:15:54,688
Now, I know
you're a working woman.
1334
01:15:54,936 --> 01:15:58,857
But I was hoping for
a little more discipline at home.
1335
01:15:58,957 --> 01:15:59,825
Well, the thing is...
1336
01:16:00,551 --> 01:16:02,060
Izzie just got her period.
1337
01:16:02,061 --> 01:16:05,785
And.., she's had
really extreme mood swings.
1338
01:16:05,786 --> 01:16:07,989
Believe me,
I'm well aware of puberty.
1339
01:16:08,720 --> 01:16:12,255
Well, did you know
that a girl's test scores
1340
01:16:12,256 --> 01:16:15,239
can vary up to 20 points at
different times in her cycle?
1341
01:16:15,339 --> 01:16:18,572
And not to mention the fact
that even female teachers
1342
01:16:18,573 --> 01:16:21,203
start giving lower grades
to girls as they develop.
1343
01:16:21,283 --> 01:16:24,278
That's preposterous!
Why would teachers do such a thing?
1344
01:16:24,289 --> 01:16:25,683
You tell me.
I mean... Well...
1345
01:16:25,993 --> 01:16:28,602
Why did she get
this and this and this
1346
01:16:28,635 --> 01:16:31,368
and these three questions wrong
when the answers are right?
1347
01:16:33,368 --> 01:16:35,759
Because she didn't
show her work correctly.
1348
01:16:36,078 --> 01:16:37,312
But she got it right.
1349
01:16:37,427 --> 01:16:41,410
The standardized tests require her
to get to the answer a certain way.
1350
01:16:41,509 --> 01:16:43,500
But her mind works
a different way.
1351
01:16:43,699 --> 01:16:49,543
Well, my job is to get the students
to do well on the standardized tests.
1352
01:16:49,689 --> 01:16:53,695
Wouldn't it be better to encourage girls
to feel good about math and science
1353
01:16:53,696 --> 01:16:56,545
instead of tricking them into
thinking they're stupid?
1354
01:16:56,909 --> 01:16:57,675
I've got an idea,
1355
01:16:58,000 --> 01:17:00,125
why don't you teach her
to stop the potty mouth
1356
01:17:00,126 --> 01:17:02,746
and let me teach her to take
the standardized tests?
1357
01:17:02,747 --> 01:17:03,876
I've got a better idea.
1358
01:17:04,070 --> 01:17:08,030
Why don't you take the standardized
tests and shove it up your ass.
1359
01:17:09,606 --> 01:17:12,247
Well, at least I see where
the language comes from.
1360
01:17:13,053 --> 01:17:13,800
Honey.
1361
01:17:15,176 --> 01:17:17,069
You're the best mom ever.
1362
01:17:18,991 --> 01:17:19,940
Let's get out of here.
1363
01:17:21,558 --> 01:17:25,592
Young girl
wants to be a big name.
1364
01:17:26,021 --> 01:17:30,348
In movies they must all
be the same.
1365
01:17:30,754 --> 01:17:35,333
She won't need
to sing or to act.
1366
01:17:35,430 --> 01:17:39,711
Just loose all
of her body fat.
1367
01:17:40,047 --> 01:17:41,855
And isn't it moronic.
1368
01:17:42,745 --> 01:17:43,786
Don't you think?
1369
01:17:44,439 --> 01:17:46,448
It's insane!
1370
01:17:46,499 --> 01:17:50,990
Izz, whenever you sing that part
in the car, you really belt it out.
1371
01:17:50,991 --> 01:17:53,887
Oh, yeah, that's the screaming part
but I decided to sing it regular.
1372
01:17:53,912 --> 01:17:54,708
How come?
1373
01:17:55,032 --> 01:17:58,502
Because everyone will be at the show.
Dylan will be there.
1374
01:17:59,074 --> 01:17:59,774
So?
1375
01:17:59,775 --> 01:18:02,350
Sometimes I hit the note
really good, you know, and...
1376
01:18:02,758 --> 01:18:04,388
But sometimes
I don't and I just...
1377
01:18:04,630 --> 01:18:06,133
I don't wanna take chances.
1378
01:18:06,566 --> 01:18:08,501
It doesn't matter if
you hit the note or not.
1379
01:18:09,194 --> 01:18:11,151
As long as
you just go for it.
1380
01:18:11,513 --> 01:18:13,333
Dive in! Balls out!
1381
01:18:13,334 --> 01:18:15,611
As long as you give it
all you've got.
1382
01:18:15,612 --> 01:18:17,590
No one's gonna care
if it's on the...
1383
01:18:18,530 --> 01:18:20,773
The, the, uh...
The thing.
1384
01:18:21,033 --> 01:18:22,681
- Key?
- Yeah.
1385
01:18:23,423 --> 01:18:24,947
And don't try to be safe.
1386
01:18:25,456 --> 01:18:28,646
It's insane.
1387
01:18:28,647 --> 01:18:30,782
That they lose
so much weight.
1388
01:18:30,783 --> 01:18:36,016
It's young and cold,
but no food on her plate.
1389
01:18:36,017 --> 01:18:38,660
It's a common thing
1390
01:18:38,830 --> 01:18:41,201
barfing up a cake.
1391
01:18:41,225 --> 01:18:43,538
They think they're all two
1392
01:18:43,759 --> 01:18:46,538
stick figures.
1393
01:18:46,592 --> 01:18:47,834
Sounds great!
1394
01:18:48,801 --> 01:18:49,501
Action.
1395
01:18:50,348 --> 01:18:51,048
Quiet!
1396
01:18:52,542 --> 01:18:56,105
"Dear Rosie, I'm sorry I didn't have
time to give you two weeks' notice,
1397
01:18:56,106 --> 01:19:00,216
"but I got a job on "The Shizzle",
Best luck, Jeannie"
1398
01:19:01,219 --> 01:19:01,919
Hello.
1399
01:19:02,063 --> 01:19:04,533
They've offered you
a really nice bump.
1400
01:19:04,534 --> 01:19:05,234
I, uh...
1401
01:19:05,817 --> 01:19:07,706
I just don't wanna
do it, Stove.
1402
01:19:07,707 --> 01:19:08,772
You want me
to tell them that
1403
01:19:08,773 --> 01:19:10,345
and then we'll see what
they come back with?
1404
01:19:13,501 --> 01:19:16,165
They've called
about 4 or 500 times.
1405
01:19:17,433 --> 01:19:19,054
What're you
gonna do, Hickum?
1406
01:19:19,647 --> 01:19:20,873
I'll never be God.
1407
01:19:22,107 --> 01:19:25,134
Whenever some chess club
is gettin' pounded on,
1408
01:19:25,464 --> 01:19:26,516
I'll be there.
1409
01:19:27,627 --> 01:19:28,828
Whenever somebody's flossin'
1410
01:19:28,828 --> 01:19:30,823
about how he
bitch slapped the little guy,
1411
01:19:30,895 --> 01:19:31,921
I'll be there.
1412
01:19:32,616 --> 01:19:36,165
And whenever Melvins band together
to tear open a can of whoopass,
1413
01:19:36,166 --> 01:19:37,297
I'll be there.
1414
01:19:43,970 --> 01:19:48,588
Okay, we can't use "whoopass", so...
let's use "smackdown" on the hater thing.
1415
01:19:48,589 --> 01:19:50,173
Can I see the dailies
for the beach scene?
1416
01:19:54,352 --> 01:19:55,343
Don't bite my stuff.
1417
01:19:55,344 --> 01:19:57,617
Oh, wait, sorry, sorry.
Can I do that again?
1418
01:19:59,780 --> 01:20:00,480
Action!
1419
01:20:02,303 --> 01:20:04,906
When we called Pink.
I said shotgun.
1420
01:20:04,907 --> 01:20:07,692
You know what? If this were 1990
I would say talk to the hand.
1421
01:20:07,693 --> 01:20:10,100
But since it's not,
my hand won't be bothered.
1422
01:20:25,717 --> 01:20:28,436
You said that Brianna needs
to think everybody's crazy about her.
1423
01:20:28,437 --> 01:20:29,475
I never said that.
1424
01:20:30,793 --> 01:20:34,694
Okay, Han is in love with him.
And she's past aggressive.
1425
01:20:34,695 --> 01:20:35,395
Past what?
1426
01:20:36,553 --> 01:20:38,079
You know,
past aggressive.
1427
01:20:38,484 --> 01:20:42,446
People who act all friendly
but really aren't. Like Jeannie.
1428
01:20:43,083 --> 01:20:45,106
Look what I made Brianna.
And Sean.
1429
01:20:45,447 --> 01:20:46,447
It's hilarious.
1430
01:21:05,530 --> 01:21:06,963
Hey, come in.
1431
01:21:07,776 --> 01:21:11,177
So, what is the hold
you have over this kid?
1432
01:21:11,230 --> 01:21:14,805
I believed in him and he knows it.
I'm the one that brought him to you.
1433
01:21:14,844 --> 01:21:17,244
Oh, yeah.
How do you like that?
1434
01:21:17,558 --> 01:21:18,752
You're such a putz.
1435
01:21:19,169 --> 01:21:20,750
But if you want me
to consider your offer,
1436
01:21:20,750 --> 01:21:22,388
you have to do
something first.
1437
01:21:22,388 --> 01:21:23,104
Anything.
1438
01:21:23,204 --> 01:21:25,399
Get rid of Jeannie,
my old secretary.
1439
01:21:25,517 --> 01:21:27,156
That's gonna
be kind of tough.
1440
01:21:27,602 --> 01:21:30,570
- Why?
- It's just tough firing... people.
1441
01:21:30,629 --> 01:21:32,769
When did you start
caring about secretaries?
1442
01:21:32,770 --> 01:21:34,910
You fired everyone
you ever slept with.
1443
01:21:35,506 --> 01:21:36,441
It's me or her.
1444
01:21:37,189 --> 01:21:38,067
Okay.
1445
01:21:38,472 --> 01:21:39,268
What?
1446
01:21:39,474 --> 01:21:42,534
Listen, zippo, you even think
about it and I'll go to your wife.
1447
01:21:42,635 --> 01:21:43,335
Oh, sweetie...
1448
01:21:43,336 --> 01:21:44,036
Go ahead
1449
01:21:44,112 --> 01:21:47,071
and I'll show her
your little photography project
1450
01:21:47,072 --> 01:21:48,764
and tell her
what a little liar you are.
1451
01:21:48,765 --> 01:21:51,291
You dried-out old bitch!
1452
01:21:51,839 --> 01:21:54,977
Why don't you has-beens
ever move over for young talent?
1453
01:21:55,326 --> 01:21:58,513
Since when did screwing producers and
eating craft services become a talent?
1454
01:21:59,321 --> 01:22:01,694
- Wow, look ladies...
- Now, what am I supposed to do?
1455
01:22:01,793 --> 01:22:02,863
Where am I gonna work?
1456
01:22:03,045 --> 01:22:04,643
I'm sure you could
get your old corner
1457
01:22:04,643 --> 01:22:06,322
back on Hollywood Boulevard.
1458
01:22:08,034 --> 01:22:09,143
Jesus!
1459
01:22:10,355 --> 01:22:11,432
There, there, there.
1460
01:22:18,835 --> 01:22:19,568
Oh!
1461
01:22:22,030 --> 01:22:23,466
She hit me.
1462
01:22:26,535 --> 01:22:27,330
We'll talk.
1463
01:22:34,043 --> 01:22:35,515
Wow, that was fun.
1464
01:22:36,405 --> 01:22:39,000
Attention, parents,
the talent show's about to begin.
1465
01:22:42,791 --> 01:22:44,622
I always knew
Jeannie was a psycho.
1466
01:22:46,318 --> 01:22:47,808
She must've really liked me.
1467
01:22:48,038 --> 01:22:49,528
Ah, how can you blame her,
I mean...?
1468
01:22:50,229 --> 01:22:51,161
Poor thing.
1469
01:22:56,620 --> 01:22:57,320
I'm sorry.
1470
01:22:58,021 --> 01:22:59,951
I was an immature baby.
1471
01:23:01,189 --> 01:23:01,889
Well...
1472
01:23:03,613 --> 01:23:05,199
It's to be expected
at your age.
1473
01:23:05,608 --> 01:23:07,164
No, I should have
trusted you.
1474
01:23:07,165 --> 01:23:11,041
I just got so paranoid you'd leave me
because I'm such an old hag.
1475
01:23:11,076 --> 01:23:13,841
I'm not that superficial,
I don't care how old you are.
1476
01:23:13,842 --> 01:23:16,202
- You don't?
- No, I just care how much you weigh.
1477
01:23:19,320 --> 01:23:21,939
Oh, nice!
That's really nice.
1478
01:23:22,049 --> 01:23:22,913
What's that?
1479
01:23:29,288 --> 01:23:32,391
Ladies and gentlemen,
our PTA chairman, Sally Kellerman.
1480
01:23:33,197 --> 01:23:35,562
Welcome to another
school spring fling.
1481
01:23:35,841 --> 01:23:38,145
You know spring is
a time of renewal and...
1482
01:23:38,503 --> 01:23:41,640
and that's why we're so delighted
to see all you fathers out there
1483
01:23:41,641 --> 01:23:43,642
with your second
and third wives.
1484
01:23:44,626 --> 01:23:46,303
Everybody's a comedian.
1485
01:23:46,304 --> 01:23:50,894
Uh, so, without further ado, uh,
our MC for the day, Dylan Nicholson.
1486
01:23:54,594 --> 01:23:57,136
Everyone, I'm Dylan
and I'm an alcoholic.
1487
01:23:58,544 --> 01:24:00,567
And then, school, I'd like
to introduce to you,
1488
01:24:00,726 --> 01:24:01,976
you know 'em,
you love 'em,
1489
01:24:02,284 --> 01:24:04,783
Melanie, Jane and Izzie!
1490
01:24:08,400 --> 01:24:09,400
Go, Izzie!
1491
01:24:10,553 --> 01:24:14,297
So hot, must be 98.
1492
01:24:14,865 --> 01:24:18,305
September,
that's not so great.
1493
01:24:18,739 --> 01:24:22,507
Where the north pole
is turning slush.
1494
01:24:22,948 --> 01:24:26,728
On my TV
there's President Bush.
1495
01:24:26,729 --> 01:24:30,054
And isn't he moronic?
Don't you think?
1496
01:24:30,084 --> 01:24:32,213
Incredibly moronic.
1497
01:24:33,316 --> 01:24:34,915
And yet you really do think.
1498
01:24:35,227 --> 01:24:40,180
He's a pain,
in the whole world's ass.
1499
01:24:40,227 --> 01:24:44,976
He saps them all,
for a gallon of gas.
1500
01:24:44,977 --> 01:24:49,659
How can it be,
we voted him in?
1501
01:24:50,052 --> 01:24:54,694
I just don't see how
it figures.
1502
01:24:54,889 --> 01:24:59,072
The pop star,
who went on TV.
1503
01:24:59,242 --> 01:25:03,775
To this whole world,
can't sleep here with me.
1504
01:25:04,567 --> 01:25:09,010
Mother says to her son,
1505
01:25:09,165 --> 01:25:12,931
Neverland ranch
will be lots of fun.
1506
01:25:13,395 --> 01:25:14,803
Isn't it moronic,
1507
01:25:15,650 --> 01:25:16,489
That's my daughter.
1508
01:25:16,490 --> 01:25:17,713
don't you think?
1509
01:25:17,714 --> 01:25:18,414
That's my daughter.
1510
01:25:18,415 --> 01:25:22,246
Technically moronic.
And, yes, I really do think.
1511
01:25:22,744 --> 01:25:27,563
It's all lame,
but the dog and the cat.
1512
01:25:27,564 --> 01:25:32,286
Too big is small,
till along came your dad.
1513
01:25:32,851 --> 01:25:37,083
He won't like them
when they're bigger.
1514
01:25:56,174 --> 01:25:57,764
Wasn't that the best?!
1515
01:25:57,765 --> 01:25:59,108
Oh, what a voice!
1516
01:25:59,109 --> 01:26:00,969
What a voice!
She gets that from me.
1517
01:26:00,970 --> 01:26:03,001
- You hurt your face.
- No, no.
1518
01:26:03,073 --> 01:26:05,040
I got a chin implant.
1519
01:26:05,240 --> 01:26:08,115
Yeah, they say if you extend
your chin, you don't need a face lift.
1520
01:26:08,355 --> 01:26:10,514
- Oh, cool.
- Where is she anyway?
1521
01:26:15,910 --> 01:26:18,126
- I'm gonna go congratulate her.
- No, no, leave her alone.
1522
01:26:18,231 --> 01:26:19,602
See what's going on?
1523
01:26:20,087 --> 01:26:23,216
Hey, Izzie.
You want a slushy?
1524
01:26:24,472 --> 01:26:25,172
Okay.
1525
01:26:25,932 --> 01:26:26,921
See ya.
1526
01:26:28,264 --> 01:26:30,501
How did you know
that was gonna happen?
1527
01:26:30,696 --> 01:26:32,096
I'm a mom.
1528
01:26:42,376 --> 01:26:44,356
Don't get too excited
about him.
1529
01:26:44,380 --> 01:26:45,964
Now, what's your problem?
1530
01:26:46,394 --> 01:26:49,418
Remember the "This will never
work, he's too young" scene?
1531
01:26:49,419 --> 01:26:52,821
Well, eventually you'll hit
the replay button on that one.
1532
01:26:53,117 --> 01:26:55,894
So, it might not last.
You could say that about anyone.
1533
01:26:55,926 --> 01:26:58,658
Besides, that isn't
what I was looking at.
1534
01:27:01,112 --> 01:27:02,245
I liked your song.
1535
01:27:03,375 --> 01:27:04,146
You did?
1536
01:27:04,587 --> 01:27:05,349
Uh-huh.
1537
01:27:06,153 --> 01:27:08,464
I liked when you said
you're an alcoholic.
1538
01:27:10,128 --> 01:27:12,085
Do you like... video games?
1539
01:27:13,112 --> 01:27:13,973
Sure.
1540
01:27:14,939 --> 01:27:17,272
Do you ever play
"Ape's Escape"?
1541
01:27:20,611 --> 01:27:24,094
No, but...
maybe you could teach me.
1542
01:27:44,483 --> 01:27:46,783
Oh, my God! Look at her.
1543
01:27:47,906 --> 01:27:49,667
Nothing that could ever
happen to me,
1544
01:27:50,031 --> 01:27:54,863
comes close to how happy I am
to see her kiss Dylan and get applause.
1545
01:27:55,162 --> 01:27:56,053
Hello?!
1546
01:27:56,716 --> 01:27:59,031
Who do you think
set it up this way?
1547
01:27:59,643 --> 01:28:04,086
So your body rots.
And your shows are stale.
1548
01:28:04,407 --> 01:28:06,473
Look
who you're making room for.
1549
01:28:07,840 --> 01:28:10,026
Well, when you put it
like that...
1550
01:28:10,317 --> 01:28:11,525
This is good.
1551
01:28:11,654 --> 01:28:14,329
Now you can settle down
and act your age.
1552
01:28:14,330 --> 01:28:17,773
What's that supposed to mean?
Easy listening, and orthopedic shoes?
1553
01:28:18,125 --> 01:28:19,600
That sounds about right.
Yeah.
1554
01:28:19,871 --> 01:28:22,315
Nope, I don't wanna do that.
I want to stay passionate.
1555
01:28:22,316 --> 01:28:25,926
I-I wanna scream at rock concerts,
and-and get angry at the news.
1556
01:28:25,927 --> 01:28:27,534
And I wanna
wear miniskirts.
1557
01:28:27,565 --> 01:28:29,059
You're gonna
look ridiculous.
1558
01:28:29,280 --> 01:28:31,612
Yeah. Well, when enough people
are ridiculous,
1559
01:28:32,273 --> 01:28:33,671
it starts to look normal.