1
00:00:15,382 --> 00:00:16,382
[lips popping]
2
00:00:16,483 --> 00:00:17,684
[Richard trilling] Bro.
3
00:00:19,253 --> 00:00:21,088
Why.
4
00:00:21,555 --> 00:00:22,723
[Richard scatting]
5
00:00:31,265 --> 00:00:32,265
Bastard.
6
00:00:33,500 --> 00:00:34,500
Brian.
7
00:00:34,668 --> 00:00:36,136
Bra.
8
00:00:36,537 --> 00:00:37,537
Bastard.
9
00:00:37,704 --> 00:00:38,704
[Richard clearing throat]
10
00:00:38,739 --> 00:00:39,739
Roo.
11
00:00:40,240 --> 00:00:43,210
Ahem. I saw Susie
sitting in a shoe shine shop.
12
00:00:43,443 --> 00:00:45,045
Barbara. Bastard.
13
00:00:45,579 --> 00:00:47,781
Lemons, Lennon, liniment.
14
00:00:48,048 --> 00:00:50,617
No. Lennon's lemon liniment.
15
00:00:50,684 --> 00:00:52,404
[woman] A touch more powder,
Mr. Thorncroft.
16
00:00:52,452 --> 00:00:53,452
Okay.
17
00:00:55,522 --> 00:00:56,522
[clears throat]
18
00:00:57,591 --> 00:00:58,692
There he is.
19
00:01:01,628 --> 00:01:03,096
Okay, Clive, let's do this.
20
00:01:03,163 --> 00:01:06,667
Hey, Richie, I'm just prepping
for the stunt later on, okay?
21
00:01:06,733 --> 00:01:09,503
- Mm-hm. Mm-hm.
- So, Pat, she's gonna faint, okay?
22
00:01:09,570 --> 00:01:11,271
And then you pull her up like this:
23
00:01:11,638 --> 00:01:13,373
Keeping this very strong.
24
00:01:13,440 --> 00:01:15,676
- Yep.
- Pelvis close and go for the kiss.
25
00:01:15,742 --> 00:01:18,412
- Watch this.
- Clive, okay. I have read the script.
26
00:01:19,079 --> 00:01:20,079
Something like this?
27
00:01:21,081 --> 00:01:22,081
I've got you.
28
00:01:22,549 --> 00:01:24,184
You've got me all right.
29
00:01:25,485 --> 00:01:26,820
[crowd whistling and cheering]
30
00:01:28,655 --> 00:01:30,457
[sighs] Save it for the take, baby.
31
00:01:30,524 --> 00:01:32,335
- Plenty more where that came from. Ha, ha.
- [chuckles]
32
00:01:32,359 --> 00:01:35,395
That was okay,
but don't open your mouth when you kiss
33
00:01:35,462 --> 00:01:37,664
because it spreads germs
all around the set.
34
00:01:37,731 --> 00:01:39,833
- When you're acting, purse your lips.
- Clive.
35
00:01:40,100 --> 00:01:41,501
Clive. Clive.
36
00:01:41,802 --> 00:01:43,537
We weren't acting. [Chuckles]
37
00:01:43,603 --> 00:01:45,205
- I was acting.
- What?
38
00:01:46,406 --> 00:01:47,608
Whoo-hoo-hoo!
39
00:01:48,275 --> 00:01:49,275
Hello.
40
00:01:49,610 --> 00:01:53,347
Pow! This little firecracker
is the real star of Mindhorn.
41
00:01:53,413 --> 00:01:56,116
[chuckles] Maybe I could get
some more lines next time.
42
00:01:56,183 --> 00:01:57,226
[Richard laughing] That's a good one.
43
00:01:57,250 --> 00:02:00,487
- That's your handbrake there.
- Yeah, okay, walk away, Clive, walk away.
44
00:02:00,587 --> 00:02:02,522
- Ready to shoot.
- [chuckles]
45
00:02:02,589 --> 00:02:03,790
Shoes, Clive.
46
00:02:04,458 --> 00:02:05,659
[Clive] Shoes coming in.
47
00:02:06,293 --> 00:02:07,394
Shoes are safe.
48
00:02:08,128 --> 00:02:09,128
[grunts]
49
00:02:10,664 --> 00:02:11,665
Shoes going on.
50
00:02:13,433 --> 00:02:14,433
Shoes on.
51
00:02:16,503 --> 00:02:17,571
Okay, let's go.
52
00:02:19,406 --> 00:02:21,274
[man 1] Okay, guys, first positions.
53
00:02:22,209 --> 00:02:23,143
You know I love you.
54
00:02:23,210 --> 00:02:23,877
[man 1] Turn over.
55
00:02:24,211 --> 00:02:25,412
I love you, too, honey.
56
00:02:25,479 --> 00:02:26,479
[man 2] Sound running.
57
00:02:27,247 --> 00:02:28,447
- Truth time.
- [man 1] Action!
58
00:02:30,283 --> 00:02:33,353
[narrator] In 1983, Special Agent
Bruce P. Mindhorn was captured
59
00:02:33,420 --> 00:02:36,390
during a secret operation
on the Siberian border.
60
00:02:36,456 --> 00:02:39,860
Communist doctors performed
experimental cybernetic surgery upon him.
61
00:02:39,926 --> 00:02:44,564
They removed his eye and replaced it
with a super-advanced optical lie detector
62
00:02:45,432 --> 00:02:48,335
which meant
he could literally see the truth.
63
00:02:49,703 --> 00:02:53,306
He escaped Russia
and returned home to the Isle of Man.
64
00:02:55,642 --> 00:02:58,178
Bruce Mindhorn became
the best plainclothes detective
65
00:02:58,245 --> 00:02:59,546
the Isle of Man had ever seen.
66
00:02:59,613 --> 00:03:00,613
[woman grunts]
67
00:03:01,515 --> 00:03:04,618
In a world of lies,
one man has had enough.
68
00:03:06,253 --> 00:03:08,221
You can't hide the truth from...
69
00:03:08,655 --> 00:03:09,723
Mindhorn.
70
00:03:14,227 --> 00:03:17,764
[man] Richard Thorncroft is an actor
on the crest of a wave.
71
00:03:17,831 --> 00:03:21,768
Richard, he's strong
and sprints like a panther.
72
00:03:23,703 --> 00:03:27,441
Acting is 95 percent physicality.
73
00:03:28,475 --> 00:03:30,410
That's why I practice capoeira.
74
00:03:31,678 --> 00:03:34,548
[man] Here we see Richard demonstrating
the art of the Ginga
75
00:03:34,614 --> 00:03:36,616
that gives him his flexibility
as an actor.
76
00:03:37,617 --> 00:03:40,921
Your mouth's saying no,
but your brain's saying yes.
77
00:03:41,655 --> 00:03:44,591
[man] But in real life,
Richard's eye has fallen on
78
00:03:44,658 --> 00:03:47,928
part-time actress and full-time lovely
Patricia Deville.
79
00:03:48,595 --> 00:03:52,666
Richard and I are a wonderful team,
both at work and, hopefully,
80
00:03:53,734 --> 00:03:54,968
in life forever.
81
00:03:55,235 --> 00:03:58,472
[man] Such is the success of Mindhorn,
it's rumored that Windjammer,
82
00:03:58,538 --> 00:04:01,374
played by Peter Easterman,
may even get his own show.
83
00:04:01,441 --> 00:04:03,510
[laughing]
84
00:04:03,844 --> 00:04:08,782
I... I... I can't envisage
any kind of spin-off.
85
00:04:09,449 --> 00:04:12,419
[man] Spin-offs or not,
Richard's star is burning bright
86
00:04:12,486 --> 00:04:15,355
thanks to publicity genius
Jeffrey Moncrief.
87
00:04:15,422 --> 00:04:18,725
We work hard on Mindhorn,
but we play hard, too.
88
00:04:18,792 --> 00:04:20,427
Sometimes too hard. Heh.
89
00:04:20,527 --> 00:04:21,795
Hello, rehab. [Laughing]
90
00:04:22,729 --> 00:04:23,930
[man] But to stay at the top,
91
00:04:23,997 --> 00:04:26,633
you need to be remarkable
both on-screen and off,
92
00:04:26,733 --> 00:04:29,603
and Richard certainly knows
how to play that game.
93
00:04:30,270 --> 00:04:32,539
The Isle of Man is a ****hole.
94
00:04:32,606 --> 00:04:33,606
What?
95
00:04:35,375 --> 00:04:37,344
Peter Easterman is not a great actor.
96
00:04:37,811 --> 00:04:39,646
But when he is acting, he...
97
00:04:39,713 --> 00:04:42,449
At least he stands there and does stuff.
98
00:04:42,849 --> 00:04:44,985
[man] Whether Richard's winning awards
for his acting
99
00:04:45,051 --> 00:04:48,288
or courting controversy
on top-rated chat shows,
100
00:04:48,522 --> 00:04:52,492
it seems nothing can stop him
heading all the way to the top.
101
00:04:52,559 --> 00:04:54,494
I'm going to Hollywood. Bye.
102
00:05:07,541 --> 00:05:09,819
[man 1] Police in the Isle of Man
have discovered the body
103
00:05:09,843 --> 00:05:12,078
of a young woman
washed up on Douglas beach.
104
00:05:12,946 --> 00:05:15,916
[woman 1] Police are treating
Katya Lipinskii's death as murder.
105
00:05:18,018 --> 00:05:19,352
[man 2] Police have confirmed
106
00:05:19,419 --> 00:05:22,322
they have received several phone calls
from the suspect,
107
00:05:22,389 --> 00:05:24,324
but have refused to divulge the content.
108
00:05:34,634 --> 00:05:35,669
[phone ringing]
109
00:05:46,346 --> 00:05:47,346
It's Plasticine.
110
00:05:48,915 --> 00:05:49,915
It's here.
111
00:05:51,551 --> 00:05:52,852
[ringing continues]
112
00:05:56,389 --> 00:05:57,057
Hello?
113
00:05:57,390 --> 00:05:58,792
[Melly] I've told you before,
114
00:05:58,858 --> 00:06:02,796
there's only one person I will speak to,
Detective Mindhorn.
115
00:06:02,929 --> 00:06:04,864
- Melly?
- My name is The Kestrel.
116
00:06:04,931 --> 00:06:06,099
[Melly squawking]
117
00:06:06,366 --> 00:06:07,534
Sorry. Sorry, sorry.
118
00:06:08,768 --> 00:06:10,570
- The Kestrel.
- Thank you.
119
00:06:11,571 --> 00:06:13,139
I'll call the police station tomorrow
120
00:06:13,406 --> 00:06:15,909
and if I'm not talking
to Detective Mindhorn in person,
121
00:06:15,976 --> 00:06:17,444
more people are going to die.
122
00:06:18,378 --> 00:06:19,378
Signing off.
123
00:06:19,479 --> 00:06:20,590
- [Melly squawking]
- [grunts]
124
00:06:20,614 --> 00:06:21,614
[shouts]
125
00:06:25,118 --> 00:06:26,118
[Green] Chief?
126
00:06:26,419 --> 00:06:27,554
[Newsome] Oh, great.
127
00:06:28,388 --> 00:06:31,691
Our chief suspect wants to talk
to a fictional fucking detective.
128
00:06:34,394 --> 00:06:35,462
Mindhorn.
129
00:06:35,528 --> 00:06:37,097
It was fucking shite and all.
130
00:06:38,965 --> 00:06:40,734
Have you heard of haemotracteathosis?
131
00:06:41,468 --> 00:06:44,170
It was on the menu
at my local Indian restaurant last night.
132
00:06:44,437 --> 00:06:45,472
[both laughing]
133
00:06:45,905 --> 00:06:48,041
Bruce, let me help you with this case.
134
00:06:48,108 --> 00:06:49,943
I've told you before, I work alone.
135
00:06:50,176 --> 00:06:51,745
What are we gonna do, chief?
136
00:06:51,811 --> 00:06:52,679
You're crazy!
137
00:06:52,746 --> 00:06:55,482
[Newsome] We've got 24 hours to produce
a convincing Mindhorn.
138
00:06:55,548 --> 00:06:57,717
We'll have to bring the actor over
to take the call.
139
00:06:57,784 --> 00:06:59,719
Tell that to the people
who stole my eye.
140
00:06:59,786 --> 00:07:02,622
- Now, let's just think about this.
- [Newsome] Green's right.
141
00:07:02,856 --> 00:07:05,458
Believe me, I wish that he wasn't.
142
00:07:05,925 --> 00:07:07,761
Get me Mindhorn.
143
00:07:09,763 --> 00:07:11,464
[Mindhorn on recording]
It's truth time.
144
00:07:19,005 --> 00:07:20,073
[Richard] Baboons.
145
00:07:20,740 --> 00:07:22,809
Baboons bring bliss.
146
00:07:23,176 --> 00:07:25,612
The Benedict Cumberbatch backlash
has begun.
147
00:07:31,117 --> 00:07:34,721
You are exactly where you need to be.
148
00:07:39,225 --> 00:07:42,495
You are a powerful tiger.
149
00:07:43,496 --> 00:07:44,164
Let's do this.
150
00:07:44,230 --> 00:07:47,067
[speaking indistinctly]
151
00:07:47,133 --> 00:07:49,469
- Bugger. Bugger.
- [man] Oi, keep it down, will you?
152
00:07:49,536 --> 00:07:50,737
Yeah, okay. Sorry.
153
00:07:51,037 --> 00:07:52,238
What you doing in there?
154
00:07:52,505 --> 00:07:53,673
[man knocking on wall]
155
00:07:54,774 --> 00:07:56,576
[humming]
156
00:07:57,577 --> 00:07:59,612
[singing] Can't handcuff the wind.
157
00:08:02,849 --> 00:08:05,552
Ah, hello, lovely. Here for the casting.
Richard Thorncroft.
158
00:08:05,618 --> 00:08:08,722
Oh, great. Mr. Branagh's nearly ready
for you, Richard.
159
00:08:08,788 --> 00:08:10,657
- Crowthorne?
- Thorncroft.
160
00:08:11,157 --> 00:08:12,258
The B man.
161
00:08:12,525 --> 00:08:13,927
Kenny B.
162
00:08:13,994 --> 00:08:17,097
[laughing] Bloody good to see you.
163
00:08:18,164 --> 00:08:19,899
Let's crack this baby open.
164
00:08:22,836 --> 00:08:25,872
Hi. Richard Crowthorne, eleven o'clock?
165
00:08:26,806 --> 00:08:27,806
Oh.
166
00:08:28,808 --> 00:08:29,808
Right.
167
00:08:30,076 --> 00:08:31,945
[imitates Jamaican accent]
I speak the truth.
168
00:08:32,579 --> 00:08:34,614
I am afeared of no man.
169
00:08:34,981 --> 00:08:37,283
I am afeared of no creature.
170
00:08:37,550 --> 00:08:39,152
I am my own man.
171
00:08:39,586 --> 00:08:42,655
I am Clifton of Port Antonio.
172
00:08:42,722 --> 00:08:44,190
Do you feel me?
173
00:08:45,959 --> 00:08:47,127
Yeah, that's incredible.
174
00:08:47,193 --> 00:08:48,995
That's... That's literally incredible.
175
00:08:49,596 --> 00:08:50,296
[clears throat]
176
00:08:50,563 --> 00:08:52,141
- [in normal voice] Thank you.
- You're welcome.
177
00:08:52,165 --> 00:08:54,801
Really, I mean, I don't know what to say,
but thank you.
178
00:08:54,868 --> 00:08:57,037
I wanna try something.
I'd like to do it again.
179
00:08:57,103 --> 00:08:59,706
But this time
I'd like to try it with a brogue.
180
00:08:59,773 --> 00:09:02,008
Uh, no, I think we...
We're good, we've got everything.
181
00:09:02,075 --> 00:09:04,077
I've seen everything
I could possibly want.
182
00:09:04,144 --> 00:09:05,154
- You sure?
- [Kenneth] Oh, yeah.
183
00:09:05,178 --> 00:09:06,178
Okay.
184
00:09:06,613 --> 00:09:09,682
Well, acting aside,
it's been great to catch up.
185
00:09:09,749 --> 00:09:10,683
[Richard laughing]
186
00:09:10,750 --> 00:09:13,953
Kenny B. This guy was one crazy hombre
back in the day.
187
00:09:14,020 --> 00:09:15,989
Do you remember that hotel in Maidstone?
188
00:09:16,189 --> 00:09:18,324
Oh, who can... Who can...
Who can forget that?
189
00:09:18,591 --> 00:09:20,293
- Did a tour of Medway basin.
- Thank you.
190
00:09:20,560 --> 00:09:21,928
And this fella... [chuckles]
191
00:09:22,262 --> 00:09:24,073
Well, they'll have to re-paper
that hotel room.
192
00:09:24,097 --> 00:09:26,933
- [chuckles] Yeah.
- I love what you're doing these days.
193
00:09:27,000 --> 00:09:29,736
Ken, I really admire your balls. Okay.
194
00:09:29,803 --> 00:09:30,803
The B man.
195
00:09:31,271 --> 00:09:32,271
Alrighty.
196
00:09:32,839 --> 00:09:33,839
[Richard] The killer B.
197
00:09:34,874 --> 00:09:35,875
The Branflake.
198
00:09:38,311 --> 00:09:41,081
- Who was that?
- Not a fucking clue.
199
00:09:41,881 --> 00:09:42,881
Hey, brother.
200
00:09:43,716 --> 00:09:44,951
- You got my details?
- Yeah.
201
00:09:45,018 --> 00:09:46,018
[Richard] Lovely.
202
00:09:52,725 --> 00:09:53,626
[woman] Sorry, Sarah.
203
00:09:53,693 --> 00:09:56,029
Front desk say Richard Thorncroft is here.
204
00:09:56,096 --> 00:09:57,764
Oh, Christ. I'm with Simon.
205
00:09:57,831 --> 00:09:58,965
Tell him to wait outside.
206
00:09:59,833 --> 00:10:01,901
Ah, Richard, darling. How are you?
207
00:10:01,968 --> 00:10:03,670
[woman] It's too late.
I couldn't stop him.
208
00:10:03,736 --> 00:10:05,371
[Richard] How am I? Well, let me think.
209
00:10:05,638 --> 00:10:09,142
I haven't had an audition in 18 months
and you get me a schizophrenic Yardie.
210
00:10:09,209 --> 00:10:10,844
Sounds like a good part to me.
211
00:10:10,910 --> 00:10:14,781
If you're a 60-year-old Jamaican man.
Sorry, Simon. I didn't realize it was you.
212
00:10:14,848 --> 00:10:16,116
- Hello. Hi.
- Big, big fan.
213
00:10:16,182 --> 00:10:18,118
Big fan. Caught your Equus in Chichester.
214
00:10:18,785 --> 00:10:20,954
- Powerful piece of work.
- Great. Thank you.
215
00:10:21,020 --> 00:10:22,622
And you were fantastic in, um...
216
00:10:23,323 --> 00:10:25,725
Um...
Oh, God, my memory's gone these days.
217
00:10:25,792 --> 00:10:27,861
- Uh, you were fantastic in it.
- Thank you.
218
00:10:27,927 --> 00:10:30,163
Sorry about the cock-up.
It was the new assistant.
219
00:10:30,230 --> 00:10:32,899
How could you mix me up with Crowthorne?
Do I not exist?
220
00:10:32,966 --> 00:10:34,267
No one seems to know who I am.
221
00:10:34,334 --> 00:10:36,936
Me and the Branster go way back.
I don't suppose you...
222
00:10:37,003 --> 00:10:39,973
Simon, sweetie,
could you just give us a few moments?
223
00:10:40,039 --> 00:10:41,241
I could have this salad.
224
00:10:41,307 --> 00:10:43,009
- Come back. Two minutes.
- Yes, yes.
225
00:10:45,345 --> 00:10:46,679
What the hell's going on?
226
00:10:46,746 --> 00:10:48,815
You're going through a transitional phase.
227
00:10:48,882 --> 00:10:50,416
You said that five years ago, Sarah.
228
00:10:50,683 --> 00:10:53,253
I mean, you're moving
from young, handsome hero
229
00:10:53,319 --> 00:10:56,122
- to older, still very handsome but not...
- Yes, yes.
230
00:10:56,189 --> 00:10:59,726
What's happening with my autobiography?
Are there any takers, any bites?
231
00:10:59,792 --> 00:11:01,971
[over comm] Very quiet time
for actors' autobiographies.
232
00:11:01,995 --> 00:11:04,831
Is it really? It's not very quiet
for Peter Easterman, is it?
233
00:11:04,898 --> 00:11:06,833
No, I don't think so. Volume three?
234
00:11:07,400 --> 00:11:09,435
What's this one called?
What I Did Yesterday?
235
00:11:09,869 --> 00:11:11,905
Windjammer's on its 16th season.
236
00:11:11,971 --> 00:11:13,773
- Season.
- He's built a franchise.
237
00:11:13,840 --> 00:11:16,709
He's even got his own range
of weatherproof clothing.
238
00:11:16,776 --> 00:11:19,212
I did not get into this business
to sell cagoules.
239
00:11:19,279 --> 00:11:21,080
You've gotta sell something, darling.
240
00:11:21,147 --> 00:11:22,415
Sell this. Hmm?
241
00:11:22,682 --> 00:11:25,919
This is a map of human emotion. Sell it.
242
00:11:25,985 --> 00:11:26,986
Nobody can, darling.
243
00:11:27,053 --> 00:11:28,154
You haven't got profile.
244
00:11:28,221 --> 00:11:30,723
That's why you made me do
the Thrombi-Sox ads.
245
00:11:30,790 --> 00:11:33,459
You said it would give me profile.
Thank God for Thrombi-Sox.
246
00:11:33,726 --> 00:11:36,029
And that is not a sentence
I thought I'd ever utter.
247
00:11:36,095 --> 00:11:37,897
Well, about Thrombi-Sox...
248
00:11:38,698 --> 00:11:40,833
- What?
- They've gone in a different direction.
249
00:11:40,900 --> 00:11:42,835
- [Richard] John fucking Nettles?
- [chuckles]
250
00:11:42,902 --> 00:11:45,238
Well, you told the director
he was an embryo.
251
00:11:45,305 --> 00:11:47,040
[Richard] He was... He's about 12.
252
00:11:47,106 --> 00:11:48,975
Sit down and calm down, come on.
253
00:11:49,876 --> 00:11:51,177
All is not lost.
254
00:11:51,244 --> 00:11:53,112
I had a very interesting offer for you.
255
00:11:53,179 --> 00:11:54,080
An offer?
256
00:11:54,147 --> 00:11:55,248
From the police.
257
00:11:56,249 --> 00:11:58,918
- What do you mean?
- They want you to talk to a suspect
258
00:11:58,985 --> 00:12:01,387
and see if you can lure him into custody.
259
00:12:02,055 --> 00:12:04,123
What? So, this is a voiceover
or something?
260
00:12:04,791 --> 00:12:06,326
Yeah, a bit like a voiceover.
261
00:12:06,392 --> 00:12:09,062
- He thinks Mindhorn is a real detective.
- [Richard] What?
262
00:12:09,128 --> 00:12:10,396
Mindhorn, that was it.
263
00:12:10,463 --> 00:12:12,899
You were wonderful in that.
That was your Amadeus.
264
00:12:13,032 --> 00:12:14,968
Well, I mean, Amadeus was my Amadeus.
265
00:12:15,034 --> 00:12:16,369
[Richard] Yeah, fuck off, Callow.
266
00:12:16,436 --> 00:12:19,105
This is a private conversation
between me and my agent.
267
00:12:19,172 --> 00:12:21,040
Just calm down. Sit down.
268
00:12:21,107 --> 00:12:23,443
- I don't wanna sit down.
- Stand up, but calm down.
269
00:12:23,509 --> 00:12:24,509
I'll sit down.
270
00:12:25,111 --> 00:12:26,111
Sit down, then.
271
00:12:26,479 --> 00:12:29,382
Okay, so, let's focus
on this Mindhorn thing.
272
00:12:29,749 --> 00:12:31,050
I was bloody good in Mindhorn.
273
00:12:31,117 --> 00:12:34,487
You'll be even better now.
You've matured like a fine wine.
274
00:12:34,754 --> 00:12:36,823
- A man could get drunk on that wine.
- Great.
275
00:12:37,290 --> 00:12:39,792
So, you go to the Isle of Man,
you take the call...
276
00:12:39,859 --> 00:12:41,160
Sorry. Where?
277
00:12:41,494 --> 00:12:42,362
The Isle of Man.
278
00:12:42,428 --> 00:12:45,164
Uh, no. This isn't gonna work for me.
I do not go backwards.
279
00:12:45,231 --> 00:12:48,167
- My career, I move forwards. Like a shark.
- Like a shark, yes.
280
00:12:48,234 --> 00:12:51,270
But maybe going backwards
is the new going forwards.
281
00:12:51,938 --> 00:12:53,906
Why don't you hook up with the old gang?
282
00:12:54,774 --> 00:12:57,410
Jeffrey Moncrief has got
his own PR firm now.
283
00:12:57,477 --> 00:13:00,179
Jeffrey Moncrief?
He went off the rails, I'm afraid.
284
00:13:00,847 --> 00:13:02,081
Looks kosher to me.
285
00:13:02,548 --> 00:13:04,917
You need all the publicity
you can get from this.
286
00:13:05,485 --> 00:13:07,854
What about Pat Deville, your old flame?
287
00:13:07,920 --> 00:13:09,222
Works for Manx TV now.
288
00:13:09,288 --> 00:13:10,957
Profile, Richard.
289
00:13:11,391 --> 00:13:14,894
Imagine, TV cop helps real cops
solve crime?
290
00:13:14,961 --> 00:13:17,063
It's PR gold. You'd be a hero.
291
00:13:17,397 --> 00:13:19,365
Do the interviews, get in the newspapers,
292
00:13:19,432 --> 00:13:22,235
remind people who you are
and, bang, you're back on the map.
293
00:13:22,568 --> 00:13:25,405
Just play Mindhorn one last time.
294
00:13:32,412 --> 00:13:33,446
Profile.
295
00:14:00,506 --> 00:14:02,208
[line ringing]
296
00:14:02,308 --> 00:14:03,988
[man over phone] Isle of Man constabulary.
297
00:14:04,377 --> 00:14:05,278
I'm in.
298
00:14:05,344 --> 00:14:06,446
Sorry, who is this?
299
00:14:07,046 --> 00:14:08,548
[foghorn blowing]
300
00:14:12,218 --> 00:14:16,122
[Moncrief over phone] Hello. Moncrief,
Public Relations International Limited.
301
00:14:16,189 --> 00:14:18,024
- Jeff.
- Richie.
302
00:14:18,424 --> 00:14:19,425
Are you here?
303
00:14:19,492 --> 00:14:23,062
Yeah, I'm here, two o'clock ferry,
like we said. Where are you?
304
00:14:23,129 --> 00:14:25,431
I'm working my butt off here for you,
Richie.
305
00:14:25,498 --> 00:14:27,633
Why don't I see you later
at the police station
306
00:14:27,900 --> 00:14:30,002
once I finish up here at the office?
307
00:14:30,069 --> 00:14:31,971
Sounds good. What about the newspapers?
308
00:14:32,038 --> 00:14:35,408
The Manx Express loves it.
They're sending a photographer
309
00:14:35,475 --> 00:14:38,878
to get some shots of you doing the call
in the police station.
310
00:14:38,945 --> 00:14:43,049
Now, we've got to get to Pat at Manx TV
afore she knocks off.
311
00:14:43,116 --> 00:14:46,919
You know what, Jeff? I think I might have
time to squeeze that in before the gig.
312
00:14:46,986 --> 00:14:49,288
I bet you have, you devil.
313
00:14:49,355 --> 00:14:51,391
- [chuckles]
- Hey, come on.
314
00:14:51,457 --> 00:14:52,992
She's not married
315
00:14:53,059 --> 00:14:55,228
- and you're the thinking woman's crumpet.
- Ha, ha.
316
00:14:55,661 --> 00:14:56,661
Bye, Jeff.
317
00:14:57,563 --> 00:14:58,598
Ahoy there!
318
00:15:00,900 --> 00:15:04,203
This is the old stomping ground.
Back in the old wild oats-sowing days.
319
00:15:04,270 --> 00:15:06,272
[Green] Yeah, there's very good soil here,
I think.
320
00:15:06,906 --> 00:15:09,242
[man on TV] Welcome to the Isle of Man.
321
00:15:09,308 --> 00:15:10,543
Isle of adventure.
322
00:15:10,610 --> 00:15:11,644
Isle of romance.
323
00:15:12,178 --> 00:15:13,312
I'll have some of that.
324
00:15:13,379 --> 00:15:17,150
- Mr. Thorncroft, DS Baines.
- Enchanté. Call me Richard.
325
00:15:17,583 --> 00:15:20,319
PC Green and I
will be overseeing your stay here.
326
00:15:20,386 --> 00:15:22,488
- Roger that.
- We really appreciate this.
327
00:15:22,555 --> 00:15:25,224
- I know you're a busy man.
- I had to move things around.
328
00:15:25,291 --> 00:15:27,360
But work is work. This is more important.
329
00:15:28,161 --> 00:15:29,228
Let's save some lives.
330
00:15:30,630 --> 00:15:32,198
- This us?
- Yeah, yeah.
331
00:15:40,573 --> 00:15:41,573
Thanks.
332
00:15:43,643 --> 00:15:45,445
- You in? Great.
- Yeah, yeah, great.
333
00:15:48,014 --> 00:15:50,116
We believe Melly thought
Mindhorn was real.
334
00:15:50,183 --> 00:15:53,019
[Richard] Yeah, well, three years at RADA
give a man some skills.
335
00:15:53,085 --> 00:15:53,953
[Green] Right.
336
00:15:54,020 --> 00:15:56,155
- Are you a fan of the show?
- My mum liked it.
337
00:15:56,355 --> 00:15:58,558
Ah... A woman of taste. [Chuckles]
338
00:15:58,958 --> 00:16:00,426
- She single?
- She's dead.
339
00:16:01,727 --> 00:16:04,363
This is you.
Uh, we'll give you a knock in 20 minutes.
340
00:16:04,997 --> 00:16:06,466
- Lovely.
- Stay in the room.
341
00:16:06,532 --> 00:16:09,502
- For your safety as much as anything else.
- Sure thing, big guy.
342
00:16:22,715 --> 00:16:25,151
- You gonna be there the whole time?
- Right, yeah.
343
00:16:25,218 --> 00:16:26,218
Yeah, good.
344
00:16:26,719 --> 00:16:27,720
Really good news.
345
00:16:28,421 --> 00:16:31,057
I'm gonna be doing some meditating,
so, um...
346
00:16:32,458 --> 00:16:33,593
- You meditate?
- No.
347
00:16:34,193 --> 00:16:36,162
- Something to think about.
- Thanks, I will.
348
00:16:36,229 --> 00:16:37,430
Sorry about your mum.
349
00:16:39,365 --> 00:16:40,365
Shit.
350
00:16:58,718 --> 00:16:59,719
Meeting someone.
351
00:16:59,785 --> 00:17:01,396
[Pat] I can't believe she let you do that.
352
00:17:01,420 --> 00:17:03,122
- Not for the first time.
- [chuckles]
353
00:17:03,189 --> 00:17:05,758
[Pat] Download that footage
and get that sent over straightaway.
354
00:17:06,025 --> 00:17:08,370
- [woman] Hello, Manx Television.
- [Richard] It's an offer or nothing.
355
00:17:08,394 --> 00:17:09,762
Just the way I play it, Jeremy.
356
00:17:10,530 --> 00:17:13,032
Bloody hell. I'll call you back.
357
00:17:13,499 --> 00:17:14,500
Patricia Deville.
358
00:17:16,168 --> 00:17:17,168
Don't tell me.
359
00:17:18,704 --> 00:17:20,439
- It's gone.
- You're joking, right?
360
00:17:20,506 --> 00:17:23,276
We did live together
for over two and a half years, so, um...
361
00:17:23,709 --> 00:17:25,278
- Yeah.
- Ha, ha. We certainly did.
362
00:17:25,611 --> 00:17:27,313
What are you doing here?
363
00:17:27,413 --> 00:17:29,148
Oh, you know, work, meetings.
364
00:17:29,215 --> 00:17:32,151
Busy, busy, busy. What about yourself?
What are you doing here?
365
00:17:32,218 --> 00:17:34,520
I'm a journalist now. I work here.
366
00:17:34,654 --> 00:17:37,123
Get out of town. [Laughing]
367
00:17:37,189 --> 00:17:41,093
That's amazing. Actually, I might
just have a little something for you.
368
00:17:41,160 --> 00:17:42,161
Is it weed killer?
369
00:17:43,329 --> 00:17:44,564
- Hmm?
- You left our house
370
00:17:44,630 --> 00:17:48,834
to get some weed killer 24 years ago.
I haven't seen you since.
371
00:17:49,101 --> 00:17:51,713
- I see what you're doing.
- The weeds are really out of control now.
372
00:17:51,737 --> 00:17:54,674
[chuckles] I did explain my departure
in the letters.
373
00:17:54,740 --> 00:17:55,641
The letters?
374
00:17:55,708 --> 00:17:58,411
Yeah. The letters I wrote to you
and that you failed to respond to.
375
00:17:58,477 --> 00:18:00,346
[both laughing]
376
00:18:01,080 --> 00:18:03,482
- Let's not do this, shall we?
- Let's not even go there.
377
00:18:03,549 --> 00:18:07,186
I'm only here for a couple of days,
I'm about to launch something fairly big.
378
00:18:07,253 --> 00:18:08,588
- Now, I was thinking...
- Right.
379
00:18:08,654 --> 00:18:12,358
You wanna use me for some publicity,
right? You need some profile, is that it?
380
00:18:12,425 --> 00:18:15,394
Way off, Pat. Um,
I can't talk about the details right now,
381
00:18:15,461 --> 00:18:18,631
but let's just say it's a fairly
interesting little acting job.
382
00:18:18,698 --> 00:18:21,334
Right.
I thought maybe you'd given up acting.
383
00:18:21,400 --> 00:18:24,236
You didn't catch me on the last season
of Midsomer Murders?
384
00:18:24,303 --> 00:18:26,238
That's what made me think
you'd given up.
385
00:18:26,305 --> 00:18:27,306
[chuckles]
386
00:18:27,406 --> 00:18:28,608
Pow! [Chuckles]
387
00:18:28,674 --> 00:18:31,877
Ooh, you got me. Look at this.
Laughing and a-joking like old times.
388
00:18:32,612 --> 00:18:33,612
Gotta run.
389
00:18:33,746 --> 00:18:37,717
You'd be very foolish to walk away from
what I'm about to plonk down on the table.
390
00:18:37,783 --> 00:18:39,752
[laughing]
I'm a serious journalist now, Richard.
391
00:18:39,819 --> 00:18:42,521
Well, maybe catching
the psychotic killer Paul Melly
392
00:18:43,189 --> 00:18:44,724
isn't a serious enough story for you.
393
00:18:50,463 --> 00:18:53,265
There's a press gag on that case.
How do you know about it?
394
00:18:53,633 --> 00:18:58,337
Why don't we grab a bite
and I'll give you the full exposé.
395
00:18:58,404 --> 00:18:59,872
You mean exclusive.
396
00:19:00,539 --> 00:19:01,539
Whatever you say.
397
00:19:02,808 --> 00:19:03,808
Let's talk later.
398
00:19:04,443 --> 00:19:05,478
Let's do that.
399
00:19:13,252 --> 00:19:14,186
Still got it.
400
00:19:14,253 --> 00:19:15,253
[chuckles]
401
00:19:15,454 --> 00:19:16,454
Shit.
402
00:19:19,725 --> 00:19:21,427
[thud, then Richard grunts]
403
00:19:21,527 --> 00:19:22,828
- [Richard] Shit.
- Where is he?
404
00:19:22,895 --> 00:19:24,263
He said he was meditating.
405
00:19:26,766 --> 00:19:29,235
Went pretty deep.
Uh... Threw in a bit of capoeira.
406
00:19:30,403 --> 00:19:31,270
Right.
407
00:19:31,337 --> 00:19:32,938
[exhales] Let's nail this mother.
408
00:19:33,439 --> 00:19:34,439
Sorry.
409
00:19:35,875 --> 00:19:37,486
[Baines]
The suspect's name is Paul Melly.
410
00:19:37,510 --> 00:19:41,681
We think he might be using the island's
extensive mine system to evade capture.
411
00:19:41,747 --> 00:19:43,582
- Mine system? Clever bugger.
- [Baines] Mm.
412
00:19:43,716 --> 00:19:45,451
Do you recognize him, Richard?
413
00:19:46,686 --> 00:19:47,686
[Richard] Oh, my God.
414
00:19:48,254 --> 00:19:49,255
It's my agent.
415
00:19:49,655 --> 00:19:51,190
Only joking. [Chuckles]
416
00:19:51,757 --> 00:19:53,759
Could I get an Americano with hot milk?
417
00:19:54,560 --> 00:19:57,797
So, the boy's parents were killed
in a car crash when he was nine.
418
00:19:57,863 --> 00:20:00,733
And, uh, when he was informed,
he was watching an episode of Mindhorn,
419
00:20:00,800 --> 00:20:04,203
so, he has developed
a sort of morbid obsession with the show.
420
00:20:04,303 --> 00:20:06,539
Could have been worse.
Could have been Windjammer.
421
00:20:06,605 --> 00:20:09,241
Yeah. Well, he is calling in 15 minutes,
Richard,
422
00:20:09,308 --> 00:20:12,311
and he's calling himself the Kestrel.
423
00:20:12,611 --> 00:20:15,614
Now, he might make
some sort of kestrel noises.
424
00:20:16,215 --> 00:20:18,984
Kestrel noises, good.
Look, I've got a couple of friends coming.
425
00:20:19,251 --> 00:20:20,595
I wonder if I could put a list
on reception.
426
00:20:20,619 --> 00:20:21,954
A list at reception?
427
00:20:22,221 --> 00:20:23,723
Yeah, Jeffrey Moncrief plus one.
428
00:20:23,789 --> 00:20:25,949
[Green] Richard,
this is Chief Inspector Derek Newsome.
429
00:20:25,991 --> 00:20:27,593
[Richard] Ah, the head honcho.
430
00:20:27,660 --> 00:20:29,729
El honcherino. The big cheese.
431
00:20:30,396 --> 00:20:32,465
- You look familiar. Did we golf?
- No.
432
00:20:32,531 --> 00:20:35,434
I wanted to talk to you
about the press conference.
433
00:20:35,501 --> 00:20:37,436
We could co-host, but I'm camera trained,
434
00:20:37,503 --> 00:20:40,873
and in these things, police can
come across as weird and sweaty-looking.
435
00:20:40,940 --> 00:20:44,810
Mr. Thorncroft, you are aware
of the seriousness of the situation?
436
00:20:44,877 --> 00:20:47,847
Bigtime, yes, indeed.
We'll hash out the details of that later.
437
00:20:47,980 --> 00:20:49,949
- Is there a dressing room?
- This is a call.
438
00:20:50,015 --> 00:20:53,352
- You know how phones work.
- Don't know if you know how acting works.
439
00:20:53,419 --> 00:20:56,322
- Not really, and I'm not interested.
- We all have our process.
440
00:20:56,388 --> 00:20:59,692
Sometimes an item of clothing or footwear
can define a character.
441
00:20:59,759 --> 00:21:01,727
Uh, you have your costume, I have mine.
442
00:21:01,794 --> 00:21:03,696
[Newsome] This isn't a costume.
443
00:21:03,763 --> 00:21:07,466
This is officially sanctioned uniform
denoting rank and civic responsibility.
444
00:21:07,533 --> 00:21:10,770
It's still a kind of costume.
You put it on to play "the chief,"
445
00:21:10,836 --> 00:21:13,439
and then you take it off
when you go home to your wife,
446
00:21:13,506 --> 00:21:15,775
or maybe you don't. [Chuckles]
447
00:21:15,841 --> 00:21:17,910
- All the world's a stage.
- No, it isn't.
448
00:21:17,977 --> 00:21:19,678
A young woman has been murdered
449
00:21:19,745 --> 00:21:22,648
and we're trying to catch her killer
before he does it again.
450
00:21:23,516 --> 00:21:25,618
- Okay.
- Do you wanna get changed through here?
451
00:21:26,886 --> 00:21:29,054
What's wrong with him?
Lost his truncheon?
452
00:21:31,457 --> 00:21:32,501
- Jeff.
- [Moncrief] Richie.
453
00:21:32,525 --> 00:21:35,060
The cops are being bloody stingy
with the door policy.
454
00:21:35,327 --> 00:21:37,396
- Ah, bastards.
- We're gonna have to get
455
00:21:37,463 --> 00:21:40,633
the photographer to take the photos
outside the building looking in.
456
00:21:40,833 --> 00:21:43,636
I'm on the first floor.
I'll favor the windows on the north.
457
00:21:43,702 --> 00:21:45,070
North windows. Right, got it.
458
00:21:45,337 --> 00:21:46,337
Are you nearly here?
459
00:21:46,505 --> 00:21:51,010
Uh, I'm running a tad late, Richie.
I had to tidy up the Glendale account.
460
00:21:51,377 --> 00:21:53,445
Uh, will you speed things up there,
Barbara?
461
00:21:53,512 --> 00:21:56,816
You know, it's great to be heading back
to the big time with you, Richie.
462
00:21:56,882 --> 00:21:57,750
Wish me luck.
463
00:21:57,817 --> 00:22:00,519
Hey, you are going to be great, Richie.
464
00:22:00,653 --> 00:22:01,653
Tits and teeth, eh?
465
00:22:05,558 --> 00:22:06,592
Hello, old friend.
466
00:22:36,088 --> 00:22:37,790
- [Baines] Richard.
- Bainesy.
467
00:22:37,856 --> 00:22:40,826
When Melly calls, you need
to stay in character at all times.
468
00:22:41,493 --> 00:22:42,995
When I go in, I go deep.
469
00:22:43,696 --> 00:22:45,798
Ah, the old two-way mirrors.
I love these things.
470
00:22:47,099 --> 00:22:50,069
[Baines] Here's a list of prompts.
If you could stick to script, great.
471
00:22:50,135 --> 00:22:52,471
And avoid any of these,
you know, trigger words.
472
00:22:52,538 --> 00:22:56,575
Insane. Nutjob. Mental.
Blah, blah, blah, usual stuff.
473
00:22:56,642 --> 00:22:58,410
- This the phone?
- That is the phone.
474
00:22:58,477 --> 00:22:59,745
- Great.
- Yeah.
475
00:23:03,983 --> 00:23:04,983
Yeah.
476
00:23:06,552 --> 00:23:07,553
That's gonna be okay.
477
00:23:17,963 --> 00:23:21,800
- If you could just keep it in its cradle.
- Just connecting with the props.
478
00:23:21,867 --> 00:23:26,038
So, when he calls,
keep him on the line, keep him talking...
479
00:23:26,105 --> 00:23:27,673
- Mm-hm.
- Arrange to meet,
480
00:23:27,740 --> 00:23:28,900
and we'll take it from there.
481
00:23:30,009 --> 00:23:32,811
Here you go, Richard.
I couldn't find any manuka honey.
482
00:23:32,878 --> 00:23:35,447
- Oh. Two teabags, though?
- Yep, like you said.
483
00:23:35,514 --> 00:23:37,650
Good.
A little tip I picked up from Sean Bean.
484
00:23:37,916 --> 00:23:40,019
Double-bag Bean, we called him.
The Bean Bag.
485
00:23:40,619 --> 00:23:41,620
[chuckles]
486
00:23:41,687 --> 00:23:42,721
[phone ringing]
487
00:23:44,623 --> 00:23:45,623
This is it.
488
00:23:46,892 --> 00:23:47,892
[Richard] Shoes going on.
489
00:23:50,963 --> 00:23:52,131
Shoes on.
490
00:23:52,698 --> 00:23:54,099
[ringing continues]
491
00:23:54,466 --> 00:23:56,035
Yeah, whenever you're ready, Richard.
492
00:24:04,543 --> 00:24:05,210
[pops]
493
00:24:05,477 --> 00:24:07,446
[ringing continues]
494
00:24:07,613 --> 00:24:08,914
Yeah, whenever you're ready...
495
00:24:12,184 --> 00:24:13,919
Oh, Jesus. Answer it.
496
00:24:13,986 --> 00:24:15,187
Fucking clown.
497
00:24:15,454 --> 00:24:16,789
Mindhorn makes people wait.
498
00:24:17,956 --> 00:24:21,160
When they wait, they become angry.
When angry, they become vulnerable.
499
00:24:21,226 --> 00:24:23,529
When they're vulnerable,
they make mistakes.
500
00:24:24,630 --> 00:24:25,631
Yo, what's going down?
501
00:24:25,698 --> 00:24:26,865
[dial tone]
502
00:24:27,166 --> 00:24:29,835
Hello? Hello? He's hung up.
503
00:24:31,003 --> 00:24:32,971
You might wanna try 1471.
504
00:24:33,539 --> 00:24:34,673
[phone ringing]
505
00:24:35,107 --> 00:24:36,809
Yo, what's going down, Kestrel?
506
00:24:37,076 --> 00:24:38,677
[Melly on phone] Do you remember me?
507
00:24:38,744 --> 00:24:40,579
Course I do. What do you want, sir?
508
00:24:40,646 --> 00:24:42,181
I have something for you, Mindhorn.
509
00:24:42,514 --> 00:24:44,583
That's nice. Is it my birthday?
510
00:24:44,650 --> 00:24:46,618
Yes, yes, he's close,
maybe in a phone box.
511
00:24:46,685 --> 00:24:49,588
Because the only present
I'm interested in is the truth.
512
00:24:49,755 --> 00:24:53,892
And don't bother wrapping it,
because I don't care for pretty packaging.
513
00:24:54,026 --> 00:24:55,728
How do I know this is really you?
514
00:24:56,695 --> 00:25:01,033
How do I know it's really you, Kestrel,
not just some insane, mental nutjob?
515
00:25:01,967 --> 00:25:03,001
Why would you say that?
516
00:25:04,103 --> 00:25:05,103
I'm the Kestrel.
517
00:25:05,237 --> 00:25:07,172
[Melly squawking]
518
00:25:08,006 --> 00:25:09,641
More people are going to die.
519
00:25:09,708 --> 00:25:11,710
We're all gonna die, Kestrel.
Get over it.
520
00:25:12,044 --> 00:25:13,979
Some with a bang, some with a whimper.
521
00:25:14,613 --> 00:25:16,582
Some with a weird wasting disease.
522
00:25:17,049 --> 00:25:18,550
[Melly laughing]
523
00:25:18,917 --> 00:25:20,619
Aw. It really is you.
524
00:25:20,719 --> 00:25:23,889
Gold star, Kestrel. Now tell me something
I don't already bloody know.
525
00:25:24,890 --> 00:25:26,925
You want to catch Katya's killer,
don't you?
526
00:25:27,626 --> 00:25:29,561
Well, get this.
527
00:25:31,630 --> 00:25:35,167
- What's that? Is there anyone else there?
- Negative, sir. Mindhorn works alone.
528
00:25:35,234 --> 00:25:39,037
Listen, big guy, why don't we grab some
face-to-face time and sort this baby out?
529
00:25:39,104 --> 00:25:41,607
- Where you calling from?
- No, it's not safe.
530
00:25:41,673 --> 00:25:43,909
The piggies are listening.
You know the quarry?
531
00:25:43,976 --> 00:25:45,144
- Course I know.
- Good.
532
00:25:45,811 --> 00:25:47,746
- I'll meet you outside.
- See you there.
533
00:25:47,813 --> 00:25:49,615
- Come alone.
- I always do.
534
00:25:50,182 --> 00:25:51,826
- Which quarry?
- No idea. You get a trace?
535
00:25:51,850 --> 00:25:53,752
- No.
- What kind of an outfit is this?
536
00:25:53,819 --> 00:25:55,587
That is a rookie mistake.
537
00:25:56,054 --> 00:25:57,054
Hey.
538
00:25:57,222 --> 00:26:00,159
You were meant to keep him on the line.
539
00:26:00,225 --> 00:26:02,194
That's not the way
the scene played there.
540
00:26:02,261 --> 00:26:03,896
There's the quarry at Vazon Edge.
541
00:26:03,962 --> 00:26:06,098
That's where we used to do
all our car chases.
542
00:26:06,165 --> 00:26:08,667
That's where he'll be. Go get him, team.
543
00:26:09,701 --> 00:26:10,701
Prick.
544
00:26:11,170 --> 00:26:12,304
[Richard] Oh, dear.
545
00:26:12,971 --> 00:26:14,206
Someone's not a happy bunny.
546
00:26:14,873 --> 00:26:18,744
I remember him now. It was his wife I used
to play golf with. If you catch my drift.
547
00:26:19,077 --> 00:26:20,077
[laughing]
548
00:26:20,579 --> 00:26:21,613
Hole in one.
549
00:26:22,080 --> 00:26:23,080
Didn't think he knew.
550
00:26:23,348 --> 00:26:24,348
Uh...
551
00:26:24,583 --> 00:26:26,718
Why do you think
Melly said outside the quarry?
552
00:26:26,785 --> 00:26:27,953
- [cell phone beeps]
- Hmm?
553
00:26:28,020 --> 00:26:31,590
[Green] Do you think quarry meant
something different on Mindhorn?
554
00:26:31,757 --> 00:26:34,626
A quarry's a quarry, Green.
I wouldn't overthink these things.
555
00:26:34,927 --> 00:26:36,862
Just gonna go and drain the python.
556
00:26:37,329 --> 00:26:39,832
Then we can have a natter
about the press conference.
557
00:26:40,332 --> 00:26:41,800
[police sirens wailing]
558
00:26:42,134 --> 00:26:44,770
[man] ETA to Vazon Edge quarry
four minutes.
559
00:26:53,345 --> 00:26:56,982
All cars, all cars, the quarry is
the police station. Melly is here. Over.
560
00:26:57,649 --> 00:26:58,784
[man] Roger that. Diverting.
561
00:26:59,818 --> 00:27:01,987
Turn around. Do it now!
562
00:27:02,721 --> 00:27:03,856
[woman] What are you doing?
563
00:27:04,022 --> 00:27:06,658
[man] Move the fucking van, you prick!
564
00:27:07,326 --> 00:27:08,326
Richard.
565
00:27:20,172 --> 00:27:22,908
Thorncroft's gone.
I repeat, I've lost eyes on Thorncroft.
566
00:27:22,975 --> 00:27:25,844
Thorncroft has gone. Shit.
567
00:27:25,911 --> 00:27:28,247
You got the action shots
through the window.
568
00:27:28,313 --> 00:27:31,016
- Why don't we get something more dramatic?
- Good plan.
569
00:27:31,783 --> 00:27:35,220
[Green] Thorncroft may be in danger.
The suspect was outside the station.
570
00:27:35,888 --> 00:27:37,256
Might be a great backdrop.
571
00:27:37,422 --> 00:27:40,025
I'll be here.
Obviously, I'll pull this in on the day.
572
00:27:40,259 --> 00:27:41,126
Good to go.
573
00:27:41,193 --> 00:27:44,796
Your face has... fallen down.
It's all baggy.
574
00:27:45,230 --> 00:27:48,367
Yeah, do you mind? Uh, we all age.
Use some backlight, soften the focus.
575
00:27:48,433 --> 00:27:50,369
I'm not gonna tell you your job. Jesus.
576
00:27:51,203 --> 00:27:53,272
- Jeff?
- [Moncrief] Richie, where are you?
577
00:27:53,338 --> 00:27:56,375
I'm with the photographer,
and he's a bit weird. Where are you?
578
00:27:56,441 --> 00:27:59,077
I'm with the photographer.
Outside the station.
579
00:27:59,144 --> 00:28:01,146
Hey, you must have made
quite an impression.
580
00:28:01,213 --> 00:28:04,182
There's police running about
like headless chickens.
581
00:28:04,249 --> 00:28:06,151
[squawking]
582
00:28:06,752 --> 00:28:09,354
Are you celebrating already. Richie?
583
00:28:10,756 --> 00:28:13,258
Clever Mindhorn.
584
00:28:13,926 --> 00:28:14,926
It's time.
585
00:28:16,962 --> 00:28:20,933
Time for the apocalypse of justice.
586
00:28:23,435 --> 00:28:25,003
[shouting]
587
00:28:27,105 --> 00:28:28,340
[thud, then Richard grunts]
588
00:28:28,407 --> 00:28:30,208
[Richard groaning]
589
00:28:40,285 --> 00:28:41,320
Mindhorn.
590
00:28:41,853 --> 00:28:43,222
Please, no.
591
00:28:43,822 --> 00:28:45,123
Look into my eyes.
592
00:28:47,192 --> 00:28:50,062
- Can you see the truth?
- Yeah.
593
00:28:50,128 --> 00:28:53,298
Did you receive the evidence
I sent to your house?
594
00:28:53,365 --> 00:28:56,001
- Yes, definitely.
- You did?
595
00:28:56,068 --> 00:28:57,803
Then you know I'm innocent!
596
00:28:57,869 --> 00:28:59,304
- Are you on the case?
- Yes.
597
00:28:59,371 --> 00:29:00,239
- Yeah?
- Yes, sir.
598
00:29:00,305 --> 00:29:01,306
Yeah. Yeah!
599
00:29:01,373 --> 00:29:02,407
[screaming]
600
00:29:08,847 --> 00:29:10,115
It's pretend, see?
601
00:29:10,182 --> 00:29:12,517
Melly, step away from the actor!
602
00:29:12,784 --> 00:29:15,304
- [Baines] Stay down, Richard!
- See you at the wheel, Mindhorn.
603
00:29:16,488 --> 00:29:18,390
Shoot him. Shoot him in the head!
604
00:29:19,258 --> 00:29:20,498
[taser buzzing, Melly grunting]
605
00:29:26,131 --> 00:29:27,131
[thud]
606
00:29:30,102 --> 00:29:34,306
My next guest is a celebrated actor
and now an award-winning writer.
607
00:29:34,373 --> 00:29:35,240
[audience applauds]
608
00:29:35,307 --> 00:29:37,175
Richard Thorncroft,
welcome to the show.
609
00:29:38,143 --> 00:29:39,143
Hello.
610
00:29:39,511 --> 00:29:43,315
So, you finished your book,
which is not only deeply entertaining,
611
00:29:43,382 --> 00:29:46,952
it is also the first actor's autobiography
to be nominated for a Booker Prize.
612
00:29:47,019 --> 00:29:48,186
[audience cheering]
613
00:29:48,253 --> 00:29:51,390
You've embarked on a new production
of Hamlet with Kenneth Branagh.
614
00:29:51,456 --> 00:29:52,824
All after becoming a hero
615
00:29:52,891 --> 00:29:55,861
by making this island safe
for vulnerable women like myself.
616
00:29:55,927 --> 00:29:57,396
- You're welcome.
- Thank you.
617
00:29:57,462 --> 00:29:58,463
[audience applauding]
618
00:29:58,530 --> 00:30:01,533
After the shock of the accident,
all your hair grew back.
619
00:30:01,800 --> 00:30:05,003
Yes, it's a medical phenomenon
known as follicle neogenesis.
620
00:30:05,137 --> 00:30:09,207
And conversely, when I heard
about the accident, all my hair fell out.
621
00:30:09,308 --> 00:30:12,544
Thanks, Ken, but we're talking
about Richard at the moment.
622
00:30:12,811 --> 00:30:14,413
Oh, I'm so sorry. Sorry. Sorry, Rich.
623
00:30:14,479 --> 00:30:15,479
No probs, Ken.
624
00:30:16,114 --> 00:30:17,114
[Kenneth] Okay.
625
00:30:17,916 --> 00:30:18,583
May I?
626
00:30:18,850 --> 00:30:20,485
- [crowd] Ooh...
- Fill your boots.
627
00:30:21,920 --> 00:30:23,322
Mm. That's it.
628
00:30:23,388 --> 00:30:24,256
[audience whistling and cheering]
629
00:30:24,323 --> 00:30:25,457
Don't be afraid.
630
00:30:26,091 --> 00:30:31,430
With that audition, he changed the way
that people think about making art.
631
00:30:32,230 --> 00:30:34,533
Politically,
I think he's become very important.
632
00:30:34,599 --> 00:30:36,268
For me, there is no one else.
633
00:30:37,102 --> 00:30:39,171
Like Mandela, - Richard.
634
00:30:39,237 --> 00:30:41,606
Ben Kingsley,
and then there is Richard.
635
00:30:41,873 --> 00:30:42,873
Richard...
636
00:30:43,141 --> 00:30:46,978
[in deep voice] I am going to give you
the best Manx Day you've ever had.
637
00:30:47,045 --> 00:30:48,046
[shouts]
638
00:30:48,480 --> 00:30:53,118
Of course, the parade is at the heart
of Manx Day, always has been,
639
00:30:53,185 --> 00:30:54,886
always will be, but this...
640
00:30:57,889 --> 00:30:59,424
[EKG beeping]
641
00:31:04,096 --> 00:31:06,998
- Richie, baby.
- Jeffrey Moncrief.
642
00:31:07,065 --> 00:31:08,934
- Good to see you.
- [laughing]
643
00:31:10,202 --> 00:31:13,071
Look at you.
The years have treated you well.
644
00:31:13,138 --> 00:31:14,005
You, too.
645
00:31:14,072 --> 00:31:16,074
Ah. Don't lie. I'm a fucking wreck.
646
00:31:16,174 --> 00:31:17,552
- But who cares, eh?
- That's right.
647
00:31:17,576 --> 00:31:20,379
You did it. They got him. You're a hero.
648
00:31:20,645 --> 00:31:23,081
I don't think you can smoke
in hospitals, Jeff.
649
00:31:23,181 --> 00:31:24,049
Since when?
650
00:31:24,116 --> 00:31:25,250
Since the '50s?
651
00:31:25,317 --> 00:31:28,653
- Oh, right. How did it go with Pat?
- Ha, ha. Oh, very well, actually, yeah.
652
00:31:28,920 --> 00:31:31,556
- I think we might just be in there.
- I bet you are.
653
00:31:31,623 --> 00:31:33,525
- Str... Strictly business.
- Oh!
654
00:31:33,592 --> 00:31:36,528
Good, 'cause when your heroics
hit the front page,
655
00:31:36,595 --> 00:31:38,663
you'll have minge coming out your arse.
656
00:31:39,331 --> 00:31:40,198
Ah, lovely.
657
00:31:40,265 --> 00:31:41,600
You remember these guys?
658
00:31:42,267 --> 00:31:44,403
Nutmeg, the druid detective.
659
00:31:45,003 --> 00:31:48,507
Moonshaft.
He's blind, he's black and he's back.
660
00:31:48,573 --> 00:31:49,474
They're out on DVD?
661
00:31:49,541 --> 00:31:52,677
Ten grand apiece they got.
And they were shite.
662
00:31:52,944 --> 00:31:56,214
Mindhorn had a metal eye
that could see the truth.
663
00:31:56,281 --> 00:31:58,984
What did Nutmeg have?
Some fucking joss sticks?
664
00:31:59,217 --> 00:32:00,385
This is interesting, Jeff.
665
00:32:00,485 --> 00:32:03,188
Aye, and Pete thinks so, too.
666
00:32:03,255 --> 00:32:06,992
He even wants to release it
through his production company.
667
00:32:07,225 --> 00:32:08,226
Pete Easterman?
668
00:32:08,293 --> 00:32:09,928
The Windjammer himself.
669
00:32:09,995 --> 00:32:11,496
- Ah, mm... This is a bad idea.
- Why?
670
00:32:11,563 --> 00:32:14,032
Pete and I have a history.
Things have been said.
671
00:32:14,099 --> 00:32:16,334
No, that's all water under the bridge.
672
00:32:16,968 --> 00:32:19,638
Pete insisted you come to his country club
this evening.
673
00:32:19,704 --> 00:32:21,473
He wants to make it happen.
674
00:32:21,540 --> 00:32:24,943
Mindhorn series one to three on DVD.
675
00:32:25,210 --> 00:32:28,079
How do you like those apples?
676
00:32:28,213 --> 00:32:30,115
This is actually a bloody good idea.
677
00:32:30,182 --> 00:32:31,616
[chuckles] I told you.
678
00:32:32,284 --> 00:32:35,253
Lovely. Seven o'clock, Jammers Club.
679
00:32:35,320 --> 00:32:37,189
Lock up your pussy!
680
00:32:37,255 --> 00:32:40,058
- The Wolf Pack is back on the prowl.
- [laughing]
681
00:32:40,492 --> 00:32:42,060
- It's a hospital, Jeff.
- Aye?
682
00:32:42,127 --> 00:32:43,167
Keep it down a little bit.
683
00:32:43,228 --> 00:32:44,996
Flange ahoy, Richie.
684
00:32:45,263 --> 00:32:46,531
Flange ahoy.
685
00:32:46,598 --> 00:32:47,598
Yes indeed.
686
00:32:49,134 --> 00:32:51,436
[Pat on TV]
More on that unfolding tragedy later.
687
00:32:52,637 --> 00:32:55,373
Why does the Manx cat have no tail?
688
00:32:56,074 --> 00:32:59,511
Some say they swam ashore
during a shipwreck in the 16th century.
689
00:32:59,978 --> 00:33:01,746
Others say it's a genetic mutation...
690
00:33:06,218 --> 00:33:07,218
Chekhov?
691
00:33:08,253 --> 00:33:09,253
Chekhov?
692
00:33:09,721 --> 00:33:11,189
[cell phone ringing]
693
00:33:13,658 --> 00:33:15,327
- Hello?
- Hello, you.
694
00:33:16,394 --> 00:33:17,762
- Hello, Richard.
- Hello.
695
00:33:18,029 --> 00:33:20,265
So, you're still at the Heights.
696
00:33:21,199 --> 00:33:22,434
Yes, that's a good guess.
697
00:33:23,435 --> 00:33:25,403
So, I hear they caught Melly.
698
00:33:25,470 --> 00:33:27,072
Yeah. I put him out of action.
699
00:33:27,239 --> 00:33:29,574
That lunatic won't be troubling the women
no more.
700
00:33:29,641 --> 00:33:30,641
[Pat] Quite a story.
701
00:33:30,675 --> 00:33:31,835
[Richard] I like to think so.
702
00:33:32,444 --> 00:33:35,080
Richard Thorncroft does something
for somebody else.
703
00:33:35,380 --> 00:33:37,015
Pow. I walked into that.
704
00:33:37,449 --> 00:33:39,017
Where are you at the moment?
705
00:33:39,084 --> 00:33:40,519
Oh, I'm staying at the Grand.
706
00:33:40,585 --> 00:33:43,188
Well, that's where they've put me up,
anyway, you know. Uh...
707
00:33:43,755 --> 00:33:44,755
For my sins.
708
00:33:45,323 --> 00:33:48,126
It's nice, you know, a little, uh, suite.
709
00:33:48,193 --> 00:33:49,561
One of those little suites.
710
00:33:50,262 --> 00:33:51,262
Oh!
711
00:33:51,363 --> 00:33:54,032
Sorry. Just slipped on a breakfast tray.
712
00:33:54,099 --> 00:33:55,500
[chuckles] Bloody room service.
713
00:33:56,434 --> 00:34:00,472
Yeah, I mean, who'd have thought, hey,
you and I would have ended up drifting
714
00:34:00,539 --> 00:34:02,741
like two lonely boats on the sea of life?
715
00:34:04,576 --> 00:34:07,746
Just two boats who crossed once before
716
00:34:07,812 --> 00:34:10,348
and are now crossing again
on the return charter,
717
00:34:10,815 --> 00:34:14,085
looking for that safe harbor,
that magical other person,
718
00:34:14,152 --> 00:34:17,322
and sometimes that other person
can be staring you right in the face
719
00:34:17,389 --> 00:34:19,491
- and you never even realized it.
- Hey, Richie.
720
00:34:21,826 --> 00:34:24,362
- Clive.
- Wow. [Chuckling]
721
00:34:24,429 --> 00:34:25,297
Clive.
722
00:34:25,363 --> 00:34:27,432
- It's good to see you.
- So good to see you.
723
00:34:27,499 --> 00:34:29,701
What are you doing in my garden, man?
724
00:34:29,768 --> 00:34:31,469
What are you doing in the garden?
725
00:34:31,536 --> 00:34:33,071
- Well, I live here.
- Yeah.
726
00:34:33,138 --> 00:34:35,073
What? What, in the garden?
727
00:34:35,140 --> 00:34:38,109
- No, silly. I live here with Pat.
- [chuckles]
728
00:34:38,176 --> 00:34:41,112
We've been together
for many, many years now since you left.
729
00:34:41,179 --> 00:34:42,447
- You know that, right?
- Yeah.
730
00:34:42,614 --> 00:34:45,584
- Yeah. Yes, I do. That's old news. Joke.
- You're joking with me.
731
00:34:45,650 --> 00:34:49,421
Oh, wow.
So, what are you doing in the garden?
732
00:34:50,088 --> 00:34:51,088
Yeah.
733
00:34:51,723 --> 00:34:55,293
Just, uh, coming to get some fan mail.
I popped round to get fan mail.
734
00:34:55,360 --> 00:34:57,562
- We get that.
- Yeah, so I thought I'd swing by...
735
00:34:57,629 --> 00:34:59,097
So, what's with the flowers?
736
00:34:59,564 --> 00:35:02,200
- I've got a funeral later to do, so...
- That's sad.
737
00:35:02,267 --> 00:35:04,302
- I guess you're at that age now.
- Yeah, sad.
738
00:35:04,369 --> 00:35:06,538
- Anyone I know?
- John Nettles.
739
00:35:06,605 --> 00:35:09,207
- John Nettles? I know John really well.
- Yeah, not...
740
00:35:09,274 --> 00:35:12,344
- No. Not that John Nettles. Another one.
- Okay. That's a relief.
741
00:35:12,410 --> 00:35:14,412
- Yep.
- Come in. My God, come in.
742
00:35:14,479 --> 00:35:16,481
- Pat's gonna love to see you.
- Yeah.
743
00:35:16,548 --> 00:35:17,716
Everyone wants to see you.
744
00:35:17,782 --> 00:35:19,484
- It's very nice of you.
- Come on in.
745
00:35:19,551 --> 00:35:20,819
- Everyone?
- Yeah.
746
00:35:20,885 --> 00:35:24,389
- Can I have the keys to the Range Rover?
- Hey, Jasmine, look who it is.
747
00:35:24,556 --> 00:35:25,824
- Hi.
- It's Mindhorn.
748
00:35:26,725 --> 00:35:27,726
[Richard] Hello.
749
00:35:27,792 --> 00:35:30,395
I used to be this guy's stunt man.
Can you believe it?
750
00:35:30,462 --> 00:35:32,130
Look at him now. Look at this.
751
00:35:32,330 --> 00:35:33,598
What is this you have here?
752
00:35:33,665 --> 00:35:37,302
- Well, that's called living the high life.
- Yeah? Too many biscuits?
753
00:35:37,369 --> 00:35:40,205
- Champagne, you know. Other stuff...
- Too many garibaldis.
754
00:35:40,271 --> 00:35:41,806
Steak and rich cheese.
755
00:35:41,873 --> 00:35:44,743
At least he covers himself up.
Can you put some trousers on?
756
00:35:44,809 --> 00:35:48,446
She's joking. She's very funny.
She has her mother's tongue, you know?
757
00:35:50,548 --> 00:35:51,583
Richard Thorncroft?
758
00:35:51,650 --> 00:35:53,485
[Clive] Yeah, look at him. There he is.
759
00:35:53,685 --> 00:35:56,454
- Yeah, I've heard a lot about you.
- Oh. All of it good, I hope?
760
00:35:57,255 --> 00:35:59,324
[Clive] Oh! Watch out.
761
00:35:59,391 --> 00:36:00,258
[both laughing]
762
00:36:00,325 --> 00:36:05,730
This guy, okay, this guy used to make me
tell everybody he did his own stunts.
763
00:36:05,797 --> 00:36:08,867
- Well, I did a few of my own stunts.
- No, no, you naughty liar.
764
00:36:08,933 --> 00:36:10,568
- That's not lying.
- You never did.
765
00:36:10,635 --> 00:36:12,837
- You never did any, you naughty boy.
- I did some.
766
00:36:12,904 --> 00:36:15,173
- No. He couldn't even drive a car.
- Come on.
767
00:36:15,240 --> 00:36:16,450
[Richard] But now I have passed.
768
00:36:16,474 --> 00:36:20,311
Well, I'd love to stay here and watch you
two verbally sparring, but I have to go.
769
00:36:20,378 --> 00:36:21,379
Mum, are you ready?
770
00:36:22,614 --> 00:36:25,383
Hey, Pat, look what I found
in the garden.
771
00:36:25,483 --> 00:36:27,385
It's a Richard Thorncroft tree.
772
00:36:27,452 --> 00:36:29,854
I cut him down
and brought him in the house.
773
00:36:29,921 --> 00:36:31,222
[Richard & Clive laughing]
774
00:36:31,289 --> 00:36:32,590
- Richard.
- [Richard] Hello.
775
00:36:32,657 --> 00:36:34,926
What are you doing?
You said you were at the Grand.
776
00:36:35,193 --> 00:36:37,595
Oh, I can answer that.
He's, uh, come for some fan mail.
777
00:36:37,662 --> 00:36:40,598
You're getting your fan mail?
Oh. I'm really touched.
778
00:36:40,665 --> 00:36:43,601
Yeah, there's some in the garage.
I'll go and fetch it for you.
779
00:36:44,669 --> 00:36:47,972
Oh! Don't go getting back together.
I'm kidding. Look at him.
780
00:36:48,239 --> 00:36:49,917
- He's so fat now. He's a mess.
- [chuckles]
781
00:36:49,941 --> 00:36:51,643
[Richard] Oh, he's great.
782
00:36:52,977 --> 00:36:53,978
Um...
783
00:36:55,814 --> 00:36:56,981
Clive.
784
00:36:57,649 --> 00:36:58,649
Clive.
785
00:36:59,284 --> 00:37:00,685
Clive. Mm.
786
00:37:00,752 --> 00:37:02,754
- You wanna talk about Clive?
- I don't.
787
00:37:02,821 --> 00:37:05,824
No, no. I mean, obviously,
he's a great bloke, lovely bloke.
788
00:37:05,890 --> 00:37:07,325
Uh... Great choice.
789
00:37:07,392 --> 00:37:09,494
Look, I think, uh, I might scoot.
790
00:37:09,561 --> 00:37:12,530
- And we should do that interview, though.
- Sure.
791
00:37:12,597 --> 00:37:15,233
Why don't you, um, pop round to Manx TV
tomorrow?
792
00:37:16,267 --> 00:37:17,267
Okay.
793
00:37:21,940 --> 00:37:23,842
- See you.
- You're going the wrong way.
794
00:37:23,908 --> 00:37:24,908
Yeah.
795
00:37:26,878 --> 00:37:27,912
[Clive] Oh, hey, Richie.
796
00:37:27,979 --> 00:37:30,381
I wanna show you something.
You're gonna like it.
797
00:37:30,448 --> 00:37:33,718
- [Richard] I've gotta get to this funeral.
- No. Hey, look at this. Huh?
798
00:37:36,287 --> 00:37:38,356
- Memories, huh?
- Yes, sir.
799
00:37:38,423 --> 00:37:41,860
You know, when I found her, she was
on the scrap heap. Can you believe that?
800
00:37:42,360 --> 00:37:43,695
She was pretty busted up.
801
00:37:44,329 --> 00:37:46,264
One careless owner.
802
00:37:47,599 --> 00:37:49,667
But then I brought her here, fixed her up,
803
00:37:49,734 --> 00:37:52,270
gave her all the love, care,
and attention she needed
804
00:37:52,337 --> 00:37:54,939
and now she goes like a dream.
805
00:37:55,840 --> 00:38:00,712
Take her out for a ride every single day.
806
00:38:01,980 --> 00:38:04,582
And then I fixed up the car.
807
00:38:08,419 --> 00:38:09,687
I was talking about Pat.
808
00:38:09,754 --> 00:38:10,754
Yeah.
809
00:38:11,022 --> 00:38:12,690
- Not the car.
- Mm-hm. Got it.
810
00:38:12,757 --> 00:38:14,893
- Double meaning type thing. I was...
- Very good.
811
00:38:15,660 --> 00:38:16,895
- Being funny.
- Yes.
812
00:38:16,961 --> 00:38:17,962
But you didn't laugh.
813
00:38:18,630 --> 00:38:19,964
No, I'll laugh later.
814
00:38:20,031 --> 00:38:20,932
That's okay.
815
00:38:20,999 --> 00:38:22,300
[both chuckling]
816
00:38:22,367 --> 00:38:25,403
- Well, thank you for the joke.
- No, no, come get your fan mail.
817
00:38:25,804 --> 00:38:27,772
- It's just through here. Come on.
- Right.
818
00:38:28,006 --> 00:38:30,375
- Yeah, step into my office.
- Okay.
819
00:38:30,441 --> 00:38:33,912
Uh, wow. I didn't realize the show
was so popular. You get so many letters.
820
00:38:33,978 --> 00:38:36,714
Yeah, over the years
it's acquired a certain cachet.
821
00:38:38,750 --> 00:38:39,818
[groans]
822
00:38:40,852 --> 00:38:41,852
Ah.
823
00:38:44,355 --> 00:38:45,924
You want me to call a man with a van?
824
00:38:46,591 --> 00:38:48,326
- Very... Very witty.
- Yeah.
825
00:38:48,393 --> 00:38:49,761
- Yeah.
- I did two jokes.
826
00:38:49,828 --> 00:38:51,596
One over there and then one just now.
827
00:38:52,063 --> 00:38:54,566
- I see you're very proud of yourself.
- A little bit.
828
00:38:54,666 --> 00:38:55,667
You know what you are?
829
00:38:56,334 --> 00:38:58,636
You are my stuntman.
That's all you'll ever be.
830
00:38:58,703 --> 00:39:01,639
- Yeah, it's my job, though, so...
- What, to be my stand-in?
831
00:39:01,706 --> 00:39:04,108
I'm a stand-in when people
can't do things physically.
832
00:39:04,375 --> 00:39:05,877
That's when they call me. You know?
833
00:39:05,944 --> 00:39:07,912
I'm at the top of my physical game, sir.
834
00:39:08,580 --> 00:39:10,515
You're hiding it really well these days.
835
00:39:10,582 --> 00:39:12,584
Yeah? Don't make me release the Ginga.
836
00:39:12,650 --> 00:39:15,486
Ginga? You're going to play
giant wooden blocks with me?
837
00:39:15,553 --> 00:39:17,689
Ginga, not Jenga. It's a capoeira term.
838
00:39:17,755 --> 00:39:18,857
It could get messy, sir.
839
00:39:19,891 --> 00:39:22,527
Enjoy reading the fan mail.
Don't read it all at once.
840
00:39:24,996 --> 00:39:26,631
You forgot your flowers.
841
00:39:28,833 --> 00:39:29,934
Oh, sweet.
842
00:39:31,970 --> 00:39:34,472
Hey, baby, I got you some flowers.
843
00:39:35,506 --> 00:39:38,009
- Thanks.
- Yeah, you know, just to say good luck
844
00:39:38,076 --> 00:39:40,678
- with the golf and...
- "It's time to get some pussy"?
845
00:39:44,482 --> 00:39:46,818
Well... it's been a while.
846
00:39:47,819 --> 00:39:50,488
- I'm gonna play golf.
- I'm gonna do some gardening.
847
00:39:54,993 --> 00:39:56,594
- It's nice.
- Don't.
848
00:40:01,566 --> 00:40:02,806
[Moncrief] Do you fancy a toot?
849
00:40:02,867 --> 00:40:05,870
I'm gonna say no to that, Jeff,
actually, in public especially
850
00:40:05,937 --> 00:40:08,907
because, uh, I had to give that up
due to adverse chemical reactions.
851
00:40:08,973 --> 00:40:11,709
- [shouts] Let's make some fucking deals.
- Yes, let's do that.
852
00:40:11,776 --> 00:40:14,012
Listen, I might take a lead
when we get in there.
853
00:40:14,078 --> 00:40:16,447
Do the talking.
You could perhaps hang back.
854
00:40:16,514 --> 00:40:18,182
- I'm not going in.
- You're not going in?
855
00:40:18,449 --> 00:40:21,419
- No, I'm barred.
- You didn't mention that either.
856
00:40:21,486 --> 00:40:22,887
- It's a long story.
- Okay, Jeff.
857
00:40:22,954 --> 00:40:24,656
- I'll see you after.
- See you later.
858
00:40:24,722 --> 00:40:26,491
- Still got some stuff...
- Right. Ahem.
859
00:40:29,594 --> 00:40:30,461
[woman] Hello, sir.
860
00:40:30,528 --> 00:40:31,888
[jazz music playing over speakers]
861
00:40:37,702 --> 00:40:39,222
- [man 1] You like...?
- [man 2] Yes...
862
00:40:40,939 --> 00:40:42,674
[chuckles] What a twat.
863
00:40:44,709 --> 00:40:46,444
Richard Horncroft.
864
00:40:47,712 --> 00:40:48,913
The beast-man.
865
00:40:49,614 --> 00:40:51,950
Be careful, ladies.
This guy is a real live wire.
866
00:40:52,016 --> 00:40:53,851
- Dangerous to know.
- [chuckles]
867
00:40:54,052 --> 00:40:55,129
[mimics shooting bow and arrow]
868
00:40:55,153 --> 00:40:56,153
- Twang!
- Oof!
869
00:40:57,588 --> 00:40:58,588
Hmm!
870
00:40:58,756 --> 00:41:00,124
- [Richard chuckles]
- Ah.
871
00:41:00,525 --> 00:41:02,493
What you been doing?
Where you been hiding?
872
00:41:02,560 --> 00:41:04,162
Inside a busy schedule.
873
00:41:04,829 --> 00:41:06,698
- Really?
- Mm. Ha, ha.
874
00:41:07,131 --> 00:41:09,534
- How am I looking?
- You're looking good.
875
00:41:09,600 --> 00:41:10,601
Yeah, I know.
876
00:41:10,668 --> 00:41:14,639
So, a little dick bird tells me you've got
an idea floating around in the old bonsai.
877
00:41:14,706 --> 00:41:18,710
Mm, I certainly do. The heat I'm about to
generate off the back of the police thing
878
00:41:18,776 --> 00:41:22,647
I think could be funneled through
into a DVD release.
879
00:41:22,714 --> 00:41:24,949
- That's where you come in.
- That's a sweet angle.
880
00:41:25,016 --> 00:41:28,152
I think so, too. So, what do you think?
Are we in business on this?
881
00:41:32,790 --> 00:41:34,792
I say yeah, let's do it, let's sign.
882
00:41:35,827 --> 00:41:36,827
All right.
883
00:41:36,861 --> 00:41:37,996
[laughing]
884
00:41:38,529 --> 00:41:39,529
[Peter] Thanks, Coco.
885
00:41:40,598 --> 00:41:42,900
Pete, I like the way you do business.
886
00:41:43,835 --> 00:41:46,004
We're heading back to the big time.
887
00:41:46,270 --> 00:41:47,505
[Richard] There you are.
888
00:41:48,272 --> 00:41:50,942
Before we, uh, seal this puppy
889
00:41:51,009 --> 00:41:53,011
is there anything else
you wanna run by me?
890
00:41:53,611 --> 00:41:55,213
No. I think we're good to go, yeah?
891
00:41:56,848 --> 00:42:00,651
I mean, nothing
that you might have said, uh, publicly?
892
00:42:01,953 --> 00:42:02,820
[chuckles]
893
00:42:02,887 --> 00:42:04,689
You called me a stinking ham, on Wogan,
894
00:42:04,756 --> 00:42:07,258
with the emotional range of a chair leg.
895
00:42:07,525 --> 00:42:08,526
[chuckles]
896
00:42:08,626 --> 00:42:09,727
Did I say that?
897
00:42:09,794 --> 00:42:12,997
Gotta say, you've got brass balls
coming in here. I'll give you that.
898
00:42:14,032 --> 00:42:17,635
Okay, look, I just wanted to come here
with an opportunity,
899
00:42:17,869 --> 00:42:21,005
- something for you to get involved in.
- In your pathetic career?
900
00:42:21,639 --> 00:42:22,673
You've gone too far.
901
00:42:22,740 --> 00:42:24,909
I've got plenty of offers
all over this island.
902
00:42:24,976 --> 00:42:28,813
- I don't need to go to you.
- I'm sure you're inundated with requests
903
00:42:28,880 --> 00:42:31,849
for the greatest actor of his generation.
Behold...
904
00:42:32,250 --> 00:42:35,186
When you're the head
of a busy multinational corporation,
905
00:42:35,253 --> 00:42:37,188
you don't have time to exercise.
906
00:42:37,555 --> 00:42:40,291
But with Tumpers,
the man girdle system for men,
907
00:42:40,558 --> 00:42:42,960
you don't have to waste time
on your waistline.
908
00:42:43,027 --> 00:42:45,263
Tumpers man girdle tightens the waist,
909
00:42:45,329 --> 00:42:48,566
removing unsightly side, back,
and tummy bulge.
910
00:42:48,633 --> 00:42:50,201
[all laughing]
911
00:42:50,301 --> 00:42:52,570
- Yeah? Something funny?
- [Peter] You're finished.
912
00:42:52,970 --> 00:42:54,972
You fucked off to Hollywood 25 years ago
913
00:42:55,039 --> 00:42:58,943
'cause some L.A. windbag said
you were gonna be the next Burt Reynolds.
914
00:42:59,644 --> 00:43:02,580
Ehh. You gambled and you lost.
You lost at life.
915
00:43:05,049 --> 00:43:07,529
- You're living in a dream world.
- [Richard] In a dream world?
916
00:43:07,618 --> 00:43:09,887
Sorry, that's funny,
because this is a dream world.
917
00:43:09,954 --> 00:43:12,090
You're living in a plastic palace.
918
00:43:12,156 --> 00:43:14,125
None of this is real. This is not real.
919
00:43:14,192 --> 00:43:16,227
That's real, but this is not real.
920
00:43:16,294 --> 00:43:20,631
It's full of sycophants and prostitutes.
921
00:43:20,698 --> 00:43:21,732
[women gasp]
922
00:43:21,833 --> 00:43:22,867
You're a joke, Richard.
923
00:43:26,971 --> 00:43:30,041
Pat never charged me.
That one was on the house.
924
00:43:33,344 --> 00:43:34,378
[shouting and grunting]
925
00:43:34,645 --> 00:43:35,713
[woman screams]
926
00:43:35,780 --> 00:43:37,381
[Richard] Shit! Sorry.
927
00:43:37,648 --> 00:43:40,818
- Sorry. I was not aiming for you.
- Someone get Richard a skinny green.
928
00:43:40,885 --> 00:43:42,765
- [man 1] She all right?
- Shove it up your ass.
929
00:43:42,820 --> 00:43:44,140
[man 2] Somebody call the police.
930
00:43:45,022 --> 00:43:46,102
[Richard] Get that cocaine.
931
00:43:46,757 --> 00:43:50,061
And he's made one of the biggest mistakes
of his professional career.
932
00:43:50,128 --> 00:43:53,331
[Moncrief] That's right.
That's it, Richie. Get it down you.
933
00:43:54,699 --> 00:43:55,699
I love you.
934
00:43:56,300 --> 00:43:58,202
[both laughing]
935
00:43:59,370 --> 00:44:01,139
Do you remember this?
936
00:44:08,079 --> 00:44:09,380
And action!
937
00:44:10,948 --> 00:44:12,984
Mindhorn is back.
938
00:44:13,050 --> 00:44:14,886
[rock music playing over speakers]
939
00:44:16,420 --> 00:44:18,689
[whooping]
940
00:44:20,892 --> 00:44:25,096
Up yours! This island is a shithole!
941
00:44:29,800 --> 00:44:31,302
[groaning]
942
00:44:34,839 --> 00:44:35,873
Ah.
943
00:44:36,340 --> 00:44:37,942
That was a classic night, Jeff.
944
00:44:39,243 --> 00:44:40,678
[groans]
945
00:44:44,715 --> 00:44:47,084
Can I get you an Alka-Seltzer?
946
00:44:47,752 --> 00:44:48,752
Oh, shit.
947
00:44:50,021 --> 00:44:53,691
If you ever set foot on this island again,
you're going to jail.
948
00:44:54,692 --> 00:44:56,460
- Is this about your wife?
- What?
949
00:44:57,061 --> 00:45:00,865
We've never forgotten what you said
about the Isle of Man on Wogan.
950
00:45:01,332 --> 00:45:04,735
You said that we had a limited gene pool.
951
00:45:04,969 --> 00:45:06,304
Well, you do.
952
00:45:07,438 --> 00:45:09,440
And you have nothing on me because...
953
00:45:11,409 --> 00:45:12,910
You're joking, aren't you?
954
00:45:13,811 --> 00:45:17,448
I could bang you up
just for the vandalism alone.
955
00:45:17,715 --> 00:45:18,950
Yes.
956
00:45:20,251 --> 00:45:21,319
What vandalism?
957
00:45:22,119 --> 00:45:25,122
On this side we have a penis here,
as you can see, the scrotum.
958
00:45:25,323 --> 00:45:26,991
In Holland we call this the acorn.
959
00:45:27,358 --> 00:45:30,428
Got breasts here,
phallus, this time with the sputum.
960
00:45:30,494 --> 00:45:33,264
I don't know what this is.
961
00:45:33,931 --> 00:45:35,366
- That's an anus.
- No.
962
00:45:35,933 --> 00:45:37,978
- I think it's a titty.
- [Baines] All right, Richard.
963
00:45:38,002 --> 00:45:40,371
You just wait here and I will get the car.
964
00:45:40,438 --> 00:45:42,139
- Okay.
- [Clive] Oh, hey, Rich.
965
00:45:42,340 --> 00:45:45,810
Hey, settle an argument.
What is this here? Is it an anus?
966
00:45:46,277 --> 00:45:49,046
I don't know what that is.
It's got nothing to do with me.
967
00:45:49,113 --> 00:45:50,247
You signed it, you moron.
968
00:45:50,881 --> 00:45:52,850
Well, I can speak English.
969
00:45:52,917 --> 00:45:56,020
Now he's racist, so write this down.
Racist.
970
00:46:00,291 --> 00:46:02,360
You know,
I nearly believed you for a minute.
971
00:46:02,426 --> 00:46:06,130
Look, I came here to help the police
and just things... went a bit wrong.
972
00:46:06,197 --> 00:46:08,499
You came back
to get some publicity from the murder.
973
00:46:08,766 --> 00:46:12,003
- That's not why I came back.
- Stop lying to yourself, Richard.
974
00:46:12,370 --> 00:46:15,239
And you're not lying to yourself?
Serious journalism?
975
00:46:16,007 --> 00:46:19,410
Manx cats with no tails?
Pat, you used to be an artist.
976
00:46:19,777 --> 00:46:21,879
I was a piece of totty in a shit TV show.
977
00:46:21,946 --> 00:46:24,415
Mindhorn was not a shit TV show.
978
00:46:30,154 --> 00:46:31,154
Hey, Richie.
979
00:46:32,123 --> 00:46:33,991
You keep leaving things at the house.
980
00:46:34,492 --> 00:46:37,928
Your jacket, Pat, your dignity.
[chuckles]
981
00:46:37,995 --> 00:46:39,339
You think you've got it all,
don't you, Clive?
982
00:46:39,363 --> 00:46:42,333
You've got it all sewn up.
What you've got is a domestic prison.
983
00:46:42,400 --> 00:46:43,567
Better than a real prison.
984
00:46:43,834 --> 00:46:45,870
You've got your little wife,
little daughter.
985
00:46:45,936 --> 00:46:47,271
I've got freedom on my side.
986
00:46:47,338 --> 00:46:49,016
- I go where the wind takes me.
- Jasmine isn't mine.
987
00:46:49,040 --> 00:46:50,441
- What?
- Jasmine isn't mine.
988
00:46:50,508 --> 00:46:53,110
- Pat never told you?
- Pat didn't tell me what?
989
00:46:53,844 --> 00:46:55,413
- [chuckles]
- What about Jasmine?
990
00:46:55,479 --> 00:46:56,347
[Baines] Richard!
991
00:46:56,414 --> 00:46:57,414
[car horn honks]
992
00:46:58,282 --> 00:47:00,551
[Clive] Yeah, bye, Richard.
Nice to see you.
993
00:47:01,819 --> 00:47:04,055
- He's a very confused man.
- Yeah, tell me about it.
994
00:47:04,121 --> 00:47:05,589
He didn't even know about Jasmine.
995
00:47:06,123 --> 00:47:08,092
- Your daughter?
- No, she's not my daughter.
996
00:47:08,159 --> 00:47:09,427
I've had the, uh, snip.
997
00:47:10,061 --> 00:47:12,963
No, she's, uh...
Peter Easterman's daughter.
998
00:47:13,831 --> 00:47:15,900
- You had the snip, Green?
- No.
999
00:47:16,233 --> 00:47:17,368
Something to think about.
1000
00:47:26,477 --> 00:47:27,545
[EKG beeping]
1001
00:47:37,888 --> 00:47:39,490
[Richard] Well, we got our man.
1002
00:47:39,557 --> 00:47:41,892
Hopefully that makes up for
the graffiti, and, uh...
1003
00:47:41,959 --> 00:47:44,628
Well, who knows,
maybe under different circumstances...
1004
00:47:44,895 --> 00:47:45,975
[Baines] Yeah, thanks, bye.
1005
00:47:54,939 --> 00:47:56,259
[Sarah on recording] Richard, hi.
1006
00:47:56,307 --> 00:47:59,276
I think you're going through
another transitional phase.
1007
00:47:59,343 --> 00:48:02,379
From unemployed actor
to unemployable actor.
1008
00:48:02,446 --> 00:48:03,914
I'm gonna have to let you go.
1009
00:48:03,981 --> 00:48:05,649
I've left your head shots in reception.
1010
00:48:05,916 --> 00:48:07,485
When you collect them, don't come up.
1011
00:48:14,592 --> 00:48:16,894
- [man] Are you finished?
- Hmm?
1012
00:48:16,994 --> 00:48:18,462
- The newspaper?
- Oh, yeah.
1013
00:48:32,009 --> 00:48:36,213
[woman on pa] Would foot passengers
awaiting the 2:15 departure to Liverpool
1014
00:48:36,280 --> 00:48:39,183
now kindly make their way
to the ferry terminal.
1015
00:48:52,196 --> 00:48:55,699
[Melly] Clue number one.
The killer is a secret baldie.
1016
00:49:03,674 --> 00:49:08,145
Clue number two.
A videotape of the actual killing.
1017
00:49:18,088 --> 00:49:20,090
[Pat on TV]
Breaking news at the Laxey Wheel.
1018
00:49:20,324 --> 00:49:23,527
Suspected murderer Paul Melly
has escaped from Greenborough Hospital
1019
00:49:23,594 --> 00:49:25,296
and taken himself hostage.
1020
00:49:25,362 --> 00:49:27,364
The public are warned
not to approach Melly,
1021
00:49:27,431 --> 00:49:29,233
as he is both armed and dangerous.
1022
00:49:29,533 --> 00:49:30,734
Get me Mindhorn!
1023
00:49:31,635 --> 00:49:33,971
[Moncrief] Mindhorn's coming back.
1024
00:49:34,638 --> 00:49:37,208
- Jeff.
- Hey, Richie.
1025
00:49:37,274 --> 00:49:39,476
- What happened to you last night?
- Play this.
1026
00:49:39,543 --> 00:49:41,545
- Oh, right.
- Melly sent it to me.
1027
00:49:41,712 --> 00:49:43,681
Well, he sent it to Mindhorn.
1028
00:49:45,082 --> 00:49:48,285
Hello, Mindhorn.
Kestrel here, reporting for duty.
1029
00:49:48,352 --> 00:49:51,989
This is going to be
an apocalypse of justice
1030
00:49:52,056 --> 00:49:55,326
for the bald man who really did
do the murder of Miss Lipinskii.
1031
00:49:55,392 --> 00:49:59,063
He... He pushed her
and he strangled her.
1032
00:49:59,129 --> 00:50:00,664
[Katya screams on tape]
1033
00:50:00,731 --> 00:50:03,000
And another man helped him
with the body.
1034
00:50:03,067 --> 00:50:04,067
[Richard] Who is that?
1035
00:50:04,335 --> 00:50:07,304
They didn't catch me, though,
because I hid in the bushes.
1036
00:50:09,039 --> 00:50:13,410
He had these posh shoes,
posh shoes with cats on them.
1037
00:50:14,111 --> 00:50:15,546
All right, see you soon, Mindhorn.
1038
00:50:18,349 --> 00:50:20,284
Melly's innocent. He's innocent.
1039
00:50:20,684 --> 00:50:23,153
- Give me the tape.
- Why? What you gonna do with it?
1040
00:50:23,220 --> 00:50:26,490
I'm gonna take it to the chief,
shove it up his ass and press play.
1041
00:50:27,157 --> 00:50:29,660
No, no, no. I've got a better idea.
1042
00:50:29,727 --> 00:50:33,063
The man on this tape
might pay some real money for this.
1043
00:50:33,697 --> 00:50:34,565
What, blackmail?
1044
00:50:34,632 --> 00:50:36,767
- Aye.
- This is low even for you, Jeff.
1045
00:50:37,034 --> 00:50:41,105
- Surely things aren't that bad.
- Of course they fucking are.
1046
00:50:41,205 --> 00:50:44,074
Look at me. I live in a caravan.
1047
00:50:44,141 --> 00:50:48,145
- This is your office, Jeff.
- I don't have a fucking office.
1048
00:50:48,212 --> 00:50:51,815
- What about your secretary?
- That is my secretary.
1049
00:50:52,583 --> 00:50:55,319
Twenty-five years I've been here,
1050
00:50:55,786 --> 00:51:00,424
- since you, arsehole, walked out on me.
- There comes a time in an actor's life
1051
00:51:00,658 --> 00:51:03,060
when he has to move away
from the small screen.
1052
00:51:03,127 --> 00:51:06,597
I used to have money.
I used to get your cast-offs.
1053
00:51:06,664 --> 00:51:08,666
I was like a pig in shite!
1054
00:51:09,333 --> 00:51:12,536
And then you waltzed off to the big time.
1055
00:51:12,603 --> 00:51:16,640
- I live in a flat in Walthamstow.
- Oh, he lives in a flat!
1056
00:51:16,707 --> 00:51:20,244
Well, what about me?
I want what is due to me.
1057
00:51:20,311 --> 00:51:23,080
I want a Bentley convertible.
1058
00:51:23,147 --> 00:51:25,382
I want a trophy wife!
1059
00:51:25,849 --> 00:51:31,322
[sobbing]
I want a fucking infinity pool.
1060
00:51:32,856 --> 00:51:34,558
Jeff, it's... It's okay.
1061
00:51:35,526 --> 00:51:37,261
It's not as bad as you think, okay?
1062
00:51:37,494 --> 00:51:41,165
Things aren't that bad.
There's a silver lining to every cloud.
1063
00:51:41,231 --> 00:51:43,834
Oh, no, you don't, you sneaky bastard.
1064
00:51:44,201 --> 00:51:46,403
Not this time. You owe me.
1065
00:51:46,637 --> 00:51:49,106
We need to take a step back here, Jeff.
1066
00:51:49,573 --> 00:51:52,776
A mentally fragile young man
is calling for my help.
1067
00:51:52,843 --> 00:51:56,680
- Yesterday you said he was a retard.
- Maybe I've seen a few things since then.
1068
00:51:56,747 --> 00:51:59,817
- Maybe my eyes have been opened.
- What are you talking about?
1069
00:51:59,883 --> 00:52:00,883
I'm a father, Jeff.
1070
00:52:01,785 --> 00:52:03,754
I've sired a daughter, with Pat.
1071
00:52:04,188 --> 00:52:05,356
What, Jasmine?
1072
00:52:06,390 --> 00:52:07,624
You idiot.
1073
00:52:07,691 --> 00:52:11,729
She could have been anyone's
the way Pat put it about after you left.
1074
00:52:13,297 --> 00:52:14,164
[groans]
1075
00:52:14,231 --> 00:52:16,567
- You take that back.
- Aye, I'm sorry.
1076
00:52:16,633 --> 00:52:18,769
You take a long, hard look
at yourself, Jeff.
1077
00:52:19,536 --> 00:52:21,438
[Moncrief] I'm sorry.
I'm not thinking straight.
1078
00:52:23,207 --> 00:52:25,275
- Give me the tape.
- Okay.
1079
00:52:28,479 --> 00:52:29,747
You're doing the right thing.
1080
00:52:33,417 --> 00:52:34,417
Truth time.
1081
00:52:38,322 --> 00:52:40,800
[narrator] Bruce Mindhorn became
the best plainclothes detective
1082
00:52:40,824 --> 00:52:42,659
the Isle of Man had ever seen.
1083
00:52:42,826 --> 00:52:45,829
Out the way! Coming... Coming through!
1084
00:52:50,868 --> 00:52:51,868
Oh, God, no.
1085
00:52:51,902 --> 00:52:55,572
[panting] Jasmine, I'm sorry.
1086
00:52:56,340 --> 00:52:57,374
What for?
1087
00:52:57,441 --> 00:52:58,909
[gasps] Everything.
1088
00:52:59,810 --> 00:53:02,479
You know about me and your mother
and who I am.
1089
00:53:02,546 --> 00:53:04,548
Yes, yes, sadly I do.
1090
00:53:04,615 --> 00:53:06,517
I want you to know I'm proud of you.
1091
00:53:06,950 --> 00:53:08,752
- Jas... Can I call you Jas?
- No.
1092
00:53:09,386 --> 00:53:11,922
I want us to get to know each other
really well, yeah?
1093
00:53:12,189 --> 00:53:12,856
This is weird.
1094
00:53:12,923 --> 00:53:16,293
I wanna give you my number.
I want us to set up regular phone calls.
1095
00:53:16,360 --> 00:53:19,596
- That's never gonna happen.
- Okay, we'll go at your pace.
1096
00:53:19,663 --> 00:53:21,598
But watch the news, Jasmine,
1097
00:53:21,665 --> 00:53:24,668
because you're gonna see your daddy
blow the lid off this island!
1098
00:53:32,276 --> 00:53:35,846
[Moncrief] So, to sum up,
do we have a deal, then?
1099
00:53:36,513 --> 00:53:38,348
I don't take very kindly to blackmail.
1100
00:53:38,415 --> 00:53:40,784
All right, keep your wig on.
1101
00:53:41,885 --> 00:53:43,353
Okay, I'll see you there.
1102
00:53:44,588 --> 00:53:47,524
- So, the simpleton was filming us?
- Yeah, it looks like it.
1103
00:53:49,693 --> 00:53:53,430
I'm starting to think framing Melly
was a really bad idea.
1104
00:53:54,398 --> 00:53:55,732
Get me Mindhorn!
1105
00:53:56,366 --> 00:53:58,302
Mindhorn!
1106
00:53:58,836 --> 00:54:01,505
Do you have a statement to make
about the situation?
1107
00:54:01,572 --> 00:54:04,675
The Isle of Man is still
one of the safest and most tranquil
1108
00:54:04,741 --> 00:54:06,810
tourist destinations in the world.
1109
00:54:07,444 --> 00:54:08,884
- [Melly] Get me Mindhorn!
- [grunts]
1110
00:54:09,613 --> 00:54:11,248
- Mindhorn's here!
- What?
1111
00:54:11,315 --> 00:54:13,350
I've got this, chief. Stand your men down.
1112
00:54:15,385 --> 00:54:16,385
Is this the camera?
1113
00:54:17,588 --> 00:54:19,389
This man is innocent!
1114
00:54:19,456 --> 00:54:21,959
This tape will be the proof of my word.
1115
00:54:23,260 --> 00:54:24,695
Might wanna swing a lens, go wide.
1116
00:54:24,761 --> 00:54:26,964
Richard, what the hell
do you think you're doing?
1117
00:54:27,698 --> 00:54:29,833
Trust me.
Get one of your boffins to play this.
1118
00:54:30,033 --> 00:54:31,802
It shows that Melly's innocent.
1119
00:54:32,469 --> 00:54:33,504
How do I look?
1120
00:54:33,971 --> 00:54:35,439
Like you might need some help.
1121
00:54:35,906 --> 00:54:37,541
Too late. I work alone.
1122
00:54:39,776 --> 00:54:42,746
I'm coming, Melly!
Detective Mindhorn's on the case!
1123
00:54:43,413 --> 00:54:44,413
[Melly] Mindhorn!
1124
00:54:45,549 --> 00:54:47,284
[grunting]
1125
00:54:47,584 --> 00:54:49,353
Shit. Jesus.
1126
00:54:49,686 --> 00:54:51,855
[panting]
1127
00:54:52,322 --> 00:54:53,322
Oh, God.
1128
00:54:55,425 --> 00:54:56,425
Hi, Mindhorn.
1129
00:54:57,027 --> 00:55:01,532
Mindhorn... is this still
Operation Apocalypse of Justice?
1130
00:55:01,598 --> 00:55:03,567
I know you're innocent.
I've seen the tape.
1131
00:55:03,634 --> 00:55:05,769
This man is innocent! Play the tape!
1132
00:55:06,436 --> 00:55:08,839
We'll play the tape at the station.
1133
00:55:08,906 --> 00:55:10,807
No, no, I'm not going down the station.
1134
00:55:10,874 --> 00:55:13,019
- Play the tape now. Play it now.
- Okay... Okay. Whoa.
1135
00:55:13,043 --> 00:55:16,480
- He's serious, Patricia, and so am I.
- Yeah.
1136
00:55:16,780 --> 00:55:19,650
Okay, people, get ready to witness
some truth bombs.
1137
00:55:22,085 --> 00:55:23,987
You know how to do it, don't you?
1138
00:55:24,988 --> 00:55:27,824
- What?
- I'm gonna shit the truth out, bang.
1139
00:55:27,891 --> 00:55:31,061
- This is the wrong tape.
- My name is Bruce Mindhorn.
1140
00:55:31,328 --> 00:55:32,663
He swapped the... Okay.
1141
00:55:32,729 --> 00:55:35,999
Jeffrey Moncrief, who I will kill,
has got the real tape.
1142
00:55:36,066 --> 00:55:39,069
It's in... It's in the caravan.
We have to go to the caravan.
1143
00:55:39,836 --> 00:55:42,039
We'll do that when you both come down.
1144
00:55:42,706 --> 00:55:47,110
- Richard, is Melly armed?
- No, no, no. Negative.
1145
00:55:47,377 --> 00:55:48,612
No, I have got a gun.
1146
00:55:50,113 --> 00:55:52,849
- This is not a gun. It's not real.
- [Melly] Yeah, it is real.
1147
00:55:52,916 --> 00:55:54,796
- [Richard] It's not real.
- [Melly] It is real.
1148
00:55:54,851 --> 00:55:56,853
- It's not. It's a toy.
- It's not a toy.
1149
00:55:56,920 --> 00:55:58,922
- [gunshot, then all shouting]
- See? I told you.
1150
00:55:58,989 --> 00:56:00,824
- That's a green light. Shoot.
- Go, man.
1151
00:56:00,924 --> 00:56:02,759
- [Melly] Go.
- [Richard] Okay.
1152
00:56:02,826 --> 00:56:04,595
- This way.
- This is not the way to go!
1153
00:56:06,597 --> 00:56:07,731
Call Equity!
1154
00:56:07,798 --> 00:56:09,976
- [Peter] What's the hoo-hah?
- [woman] Thorncroft's gone insane.
1155
00:56:10,000 --> 00:56:11,034
This is terrible.
1156
00:56:12,436 --> 00:56:14,137
Wait. Did he sign that DVD thing?
1157
00:56:14,471 --> 00:56:16,673
- Yeah.
- In which case it's fantastic.
1158
00:56:17,140 --> 00:56:20,477
- Stop shooting! I haven't done anything!
- [Melly squawking]
1159
00:56:20,944 --> 00:56:23,480
Stop making that stupid bird noise!
1160
00:56:23,614 --> 00:56:24,948
[man] Stop there!
1161
00:56:25,949 --> 00:56:27,851
- Stop!
- They're heading into the mine.
1162
00:56:29,720 --> 00:56:30,720
Stop right there!
1163
00:56:37,961 --> 00:56:39,763
[Melly squawks]
1164
00:56:42,966 --> 00:56:45,602
They've gone again, chief. For now.
1165
00:57:07,057 --> 00:57:08,792
DS Baines.
1166
00:57:09,559 --> 00:57:10,559
Clever boy.
1167
00:57:11,528 --> 00:57:12,796
You're coming with me.
1168
00:57:14,531 --> 00:57:17,668
All I want to know
is who else has seen this tape?
1169
00:57:17,734 --> 00:57:20,704
Oh, no, no, no. I can't reveal my sources.
1170
00:57:22,105 --> 00:57:25,776
It was Richard Thorncroft.
This whole thing was his idea.
1171
00:57:25,943 --> 00:57:27,778
And possibly Pat Deville.
1172
00:57:27,844 --> 00:57:28,845
Pat Deville?
1173
00:57:28,912 --> 00:57:30,681
[Moncrief] He picked it up from her house.
1174
00:57:31,748 --> 00:57:33,216
How about 30 grand?
1175
00:57:33,583 --> 00:57:35,018
[chuckles] Jeffrey.
1176
00:57:35,752 --> 00:57:38,522
The last person
who tried to blackmail me...
1177
00:57:38,989 --> 00:57:40,590
is on this tape.
1178
00:57:40,657 --> 00:57:43,860
Only I haven't had a torrid affair
with you, Jeff.
1179
00:57:44,695 --> 00:57:47,731
Let's call it 50 quid
and everybody's happy, eh?
1180
00:57:51,835 --> 00:57:53,937
Great. This isn't the Bronx.
1181
00:57:54,004 --> 00:57:55,672
This is the Isle of Man!
1182
00:57:55,739 --> 00:57:56,940
[bleating]
1183
00:57:59,042 --> 00:58:00,243
[sirens wailing]
1184
00:58:02,512 --> 00:58:04,748
[squawking]
1185
00:58:05,849 --> 00:58:06,783
You okay, Mindhorn?
1186
00:58:06,850 --> 00:58:08,585
[panting] Oh, God. I'm gonna be sick.
1187
00:58:08,652 --> 00:58:09,653
Come on, this way.
1188
00:58:09,853 --> 00:58:10,721
To safety.
1189
00:58:10,787 --> 00:58:12,255
- Where are we going?
- The nest!
1190
00:58:12,522 --> 00:58:14,725
It's lucky you're special forces.
1191
00:58:14,791 --> 00:58:16,727
[grunts, then yelps]
1192
00:58:16,793 --> 00:58:17,894
How much further?
1193
00:58:17,961 --> 00:58:20,731
- [Melly] It's just here.
- [panting, then yelps]
1194
00:58:20,797 --> 00:58:22,833
- [Richard] What's this?
- We've got to jump.
1195
00:58:23,500 --> 00:58:24,167
Oh, yeah.
1196
00:58:24,501 --> 00:58:25,969
Yeah, let's just jump off a cliff!
1197
00:58:26,036 --> 00:58:28,005
- Yeah. You first.
- [laughing]
1198
00:58:28,071 --> 00:58:29,072
[Richard screaming]
1199
00:58:30,073 --> 00:58:32,175
[squawking]
1200
00:58:35,012 --> 00:58:36,546
[water splashing]
1201
00:58:38,181 --> 00:58:40,951
It now seems certain
the actor Richard Thorncroft,
1202
00:58:41,018 --> 00:58:43,954
who disappeared two days ago, is dead.
1203
00:58:44,021 --> 00:58:46,289
Thorncroft is the chief suspect
in the murder
1204
00:58:46,556 --> 00:58:49,092
of Mindhorn PR guru Jeffrey Moncrief.
1205
00:58:49,159 --> 00:58:51,828
It is now accepted
that Thorncroft could be suffering
1206
00:58:51,895 --> 00:58:53,597
a severe mental breakdown
1207
00:58:53,663 --> 00:58:56,633
after a long career lull
since the hit show ended.
1208
00:58:56,700 --> 00:58:59,169
Even a short walk
can take its toll on the lower legs.
1209
00:58:59,536 --> 00:59:01,738
That's why I use Thrombi-Sox.
1210
00:59:01,805 --> 00:59:03,940
Jeffrey Moncrief, who I will kill...
1211
00:59:04,007 --> 00:59:04,875
[gunshot]
1212
00:59:04,941 --> 00:59:09,179
You can never say that it's a good thing
when someone is dead,
1213
00:59:10,747 --> 00:59:15,952
but maybe with Richard
this has been for the best.
1214
00:59:16,019 --> 00:59:20,657
I keep expecting him
to walk through the door and, uh, say:
1215
00:59:20,724 --> 00:59:24,027
"Hey, Pete, old buddy,
how are the DVD sales going?"
1216
00:59:24,094 --> 00:59:28,565
Because, of course, you know,
Mindhorn is finally released today on DVD.
1217
00:59:28,632 --> 00:59:29,632
Yeah.
1218
00:59:29,766 --> 00:59:32,903
Um, could you stop filming now?
I think I might be about to cry.
1219
00:59:32,969 --> 00:59:35,272
[man] Thorncroft's excursion into
the recording studio
1220
00:59:35,338 --> 00:59:37,674
yielded this album from 1990.
1221
00:59:37,741 --> 00:59:40,811
His signature tune,
"Can't Handcuff the Wind,"
1222
00:59:40,877 --> 00:59:43,780
reached number one
in several East European countries.
1223
00:59:43,847 --> 00:59:44,891
["Can't Handcuff the Wind"
playing over speakers]
1224
00:59:44,915 --> 00:59:47,784
♪ You can't handcuff the wind ♪
1225
00:59:48,685 --> 00:59:51,354
♪ And if you try, you're gonna fail ♪
1226
00:59:55,859 --> 00:59:56,859
Hi.
1227
00:59:58,128 --> 00:59:59,629
You're gonna love this.
1228
00:59:59,696 --> 01:00:02,799
I've made you look
exactly how you used to.
1229
01:00:07,938 --> 01:00:09,206
[woman on TV] You're crazy!
1230
01:00:09,272 --> 01:00:10,874
It's perfect.
1231
01:00:12,943 --> 01:00:14,077
I can't move.
1232
01:00:14,144 --> 01:00:15,946
- I glued you into your clothes.
- What?
1233
01:00:16,012 --> 01:00:18,315
There's three rolls of masking tape
around your neck.
1234
01:00:18,381 --> 01:00:19,850
You glued me into my clothes?
1235
01:00:19,916 --> 01:00:22,052
Your hair came off in the sea.
1236
01:00:22,385 --> 01:00:24,621
But it's okay,
'cause I stuck it back on...
1237
01:00:24,988 --> 01:00:26,890
- I can't breathe.
- With superglue.
1238
01:00:26,957 --> 01:00:28,859
So, it will never come off again.
1239
01:00:28,925 --> 01:00:30,293
[grunting]
1240
01:00:31,161 --> 01:00:32,161
Good, innit?
1241
01:00:33,230 --> 01:00:34,631
[groaning]
1242
01:00:34,731 --> 01:00:35,632
And your eye patch.
1243
01:00:35,699 --> 01:00:36,366
Where are we?
1244
01:00:36,633 --> 01:00:39,002
We are in an underground lair. The nest.
1245
01:00:39,069 --> 01:00:44,841
And this is where we complete
Operation Apocalypse of Justice.
1246
01:00:44,908 --> 01:00:47,644
[chuckles]
Right. First, we need a penknife.
1247
01:00:48,178 --> 01:00:50,914
And this recorder belt. Ha!
1248
01:00:50,981 --> 01:00:52,649
[Melly on recording]
Recorder belt. Ha!
1249
01:00:52,716 --> 01:00:55,785
[laughs] Fake blood
for fooling the baddies, and...
1250
01:00:57,087 --> 01:00:58,087
pretend gun.
1251
01:00:58,722 --> 01:01:01,725
'Cause I'm your partner
and we're working on a case.
1252
01:01:01,791 --> 01:01:05,395
- And it's a good case, isn't it, Mindhorn?
- Yeah, it's a really good case.
1253
01:01:05,896 --> 01:01:08,832
Yeah, just one small problem is
I'm not Mindhorn.
1254
01:01:09,733 --> 01:01:12,402
There is no Mindhorn. Mindhorn isn't real.
1255
01:01:12,669 --> 01:01:14,671
He... He... He is real.
1256
01:01:14,738 --> 01:01:18,275
- Uh... Truth powder.
- That is merchandise, okay?
1257
01:01:18,341 --> 01:01:21,912
Do you know what merchandise is?
Cheap rubbish we sell to idiots, yeah?
1258
01:01:21,978 --> 01:01:25,182
And by the way, that nearly blinded
four teenagers in Whitby in 1989.
1259
01:01:25,248 --> 01:01:27,117
- Had to be taken off the market.
- Did it?
1260
01:01:27,184 --> 01:01:28,885
Mindhorn is a fictional character
1261
01:01:28,952 --> 01:01:31,154
in a TV show I did
a quarter of a century ago.
1262
01:01:31,855 --> 01:01:33,223
What's a fictional character?
1263
01:01:33,290 --> 01:01:35,125
I'm an actor. Well, I used to be.
1264
01:01:35,192 --> 01:01:37,060
Now I just advertise orthopedic socks.
1265
01:01:37,127 --> 01:01:40,096
And I don't even do that now,
'cause John Nettles got the gig!
1266
01:01:40,764 --> 01:01:43,200
I don't... I don't understand.
1267
01:01:43,266 --> 01:01:45,702
You don't understand?
Let me clear things up.
1268
01:01:45,769 --> 01:01:48,772
Your parents carked it,
you lost your marbles,
1269
01:01:48,838 --> 01:01:51,975
you got fixated with me
in some weird, creepy way
1270
01:01:52,042 --> 01:01:54,978
which I don't wanna get into.
You think I'm here to rescue you.
1271
01:01:55,045 --> 01:01:57,814
That's not gonna happen.
I'm a self-obsessed arsehole.
1272
01:01:57,881 --> 01:01:59,082
Does that clear things up?
1273
01:01:59,449 --> 01:02:02,953
Paul Melly, wanted in connection
with the murder of Katya Lipinskii,
1274
01:02:03,019 --> 01:02:04,387
is also presumed dead.
1275
01:02:04,454 --> 01:02:07,891
Melly, 32, is believed
to have a mental age of nine.
1276
01:02:07,958 --> 01:02:10,427
- Who's gonna clear my name?
- Nobody.
1277
01:02:12,229 --> 01:02:13,230
There's no evidence.
1278
01:02:13,863 --> 01:02:16,233
We had a tape. The tape's gone. It's over.
1279
01:02:18,401 --> 01:02:19,803
Both of them?
1280
01:02:21,438 --> 01:02:24,007
Both of them?
What do you mean, "both of them"?
1281
01:02:24,074 --> 01:02:25,909
Yeah, I made a copy of the tape.
1282
01:02:26,443 --> 01:02:27,444
You taught me that.
1283
01:02:28,445 --> 01:02:29,512
Always make a copy.
1284
01:02:29,779 --> 01:02:31,381
Well, Mindhorn did.
1285
01:02:31,448 --> 01:02:33,516
Only you're not... You're not Mindhorn.
1286
01:02:33,783 --> 01:02:34,784
Whoa, whoa, whoa.
1287
01:02:35,218 --> 01:02:36,453
I am Mindhorn.
1288
01:02:37,153 --> 01:02:40,023
- What? But you said...
- No, you passed the test.
1289
01:02:40,156 --> 01:02:41,791
Kestrel, well done.
1290
01:02:42,792 --> 01:02:44,761
- Did I?
- You made promotion, partner.
1291
01:02:44,828 --> 01:02:47,897
From now on,
you shall be known as the Falcon.
1292
01:02:48,331 --> 01:02:49,933
No, I prefer Kestrel.
1293
01:02:50,000 --> 01:02:51,835
Kestrel's fine, too. Where's the tape?
1294
01:02:51,901 --> 01:02:55,105
I made a copy of the tape and put it
in your car at Mindhorn Heights.
1295
01:02:55,772 --> 01:02:56,773
Yes.
1296
01:02:56,840 --> 01:02:59,943
Now I'm gonna pack the bag
for the finale when we kill the baddies.
1297
01:03:00,010 --> 01:03:01,544
Okay, sounds like a plan, partner.
1298
01:03:01,811 --> 01:03:02,512
I'm gonna head off.
1299
01:03:02,779 --> 01:03:05,157
- I'll give you a signal when I need you.
- What's the signal?
1300
01:03:05,181 --> 01:03:08,051
- Uh... You'll know when you hear it.
- I need to hear it now.
1301
01:03:08,118 --> 01:03:08,985
[whistles]
1302
01:03:09,052 --> 01:03:10,052
No.
1303
01:03:10,453 --> 01:03:11,821
[squawks]
1304
01:03:11,888 --> 01:03:12,989
- Better.
- Good. Okay.
1305
01:03:13,056 --> 01:03:14,491
Take this. Make sure you wear it.
1306
01:03:14,557 --> 01:03:16,393
- What is that?
- It's the recorder belt.
1307
01:03:16,459 --> 01:03:19,296
Recorder belt, okay.
Strapping that on now, Kestrel.
1308
01:03:19,362 --> 01:03:20,230
And this.
1309
01:03:20,297 --> 01:03:22,299
Roger that. Weird plastic radio. Got it.
1310
01:03:22,966 --> 01:03:24,501
- Uh... Does this work?
- No.
1311
01:03:25,335 --> 01:03:27,437
- It does work, actually, FYI.
- Oh, right.
1312
01:03:30,907 --> 01:03:31,907
Who are you calling?
1313
01:03:32,509 --> 01:03:34,444
The only person we can trust.
1314
01:03:44,954 --> 01:03:47,023
- Baines.
- Richard. Wow.
1315
01:03:47,090 --> 01:03:49,359
- Don't ask.
- Thank God you're alive. Where's Melly?
1316
01:03:49,426 --> 01:03:52,595
In a cave. He made a copy of the tape
and he's hidden it at Pat's.
1317
01:03:52,962 --> 01:03:53,997
Whereabouts at Pat's?
1318
01:03:54,064 --> 01:03:56,866
In the garage. In the glove compartment
of the Mindhorn car.
1319
01:03:57,267 --> 01:03:58,267
[Baines] Mm-hm.
1320
01:03:58,368 --> 01:04:01,271
- What have you got the gun for?
- You know too much, Richard.
1321
01:04:02,472 --> 01:04:03,473
I don't know anything.
1322
01:04:04,274 --> 01:04:05,909
I'm actually quite confused.
1323
01:04:05,975 --> 01:04:07,911
You know that I killed Moncrief, right?
1324
01:04:08,578 --> 01:04:09,579
I did not know that.
1325
01:04:09,846 --> 01:04:10,513
Well, you do now.
1326
01:04:10,580 --> 01:04:12,615
Uh, not a problem. I can blank it out.
1327
01:04:12,882 --> 01:04:14,017
I have that capacity. I...
1328
01:04:14,084 --> 01:04:17,287
I've blanked out huge chapters of my life.
This is just one more thing.
1329
01:04:17,354 --> 01:04:19,956
Sorry, Richard. Final curtain.
1330
01:04:20,623 --> 01:04:21,623
[squawking]
1331
01:04:28,465 --> 01:04:29,332
[Melly squawks]
1332
01:04:29,399 --> 01:04:30,433
Truth powder.
1333
01:04:30,500 --> 01:04:33,269
[grunts, then shouts]
1334
01:04:33,370 --> 01:04:35,105
- Quick, the gun.
- What is that?
1335
01:04:35,171 --> 01:04:36,039
Come on.
1336
01:04:36,106 --> 01:04:37,574
[Baines coughing]
1337
01:04:37,640 --> 01:04:39,409
- [Baines] Jesus Christ!
- [Richard] Bike!
1338
01:04:39,476 --> 01:04:41,077
She's left the keys in the bike.
1339
01:04:44,147 --> 01:04:45,648
- Yes!
- Why did you do that?
1340
01:04:46,182 --> 01:04:49,919
We could have used the bike
to get away, you stupid berk.
1341
01:04:50,453 --> 01:04:52,122
[Baines coughing]
1342
01:04:55,024 --> 01:04:56,526
[cell phone buzzing]
1343
01:04:59,896 --> 01:05:01,407
- Hello?
- [Baines over phone] Hi, Pat.
1344
01:05:01,431 --> 01:05:03,032
Yeah, it's DS Baines here.
1345
01:05:03,099 --> 01:05:06,903
I just thought I should tell you
that Richard is alive.
1346
01:05:07,337 --> 01:05:08,371
He's alive?
1347
01:05:08,438 --> 01:05:10,607
Alive, yeah, yeah. Great... Great news.
1348
01:05:11,074 --> 01:05:11,941
Mixed bag, though.
1349
01:05:12,008 --> 01:05:13,977
He is delusional.
1350
01:05:14,043 --> 01:05:16,146
Oh, God, he's seriously ill, isn't he?
1351
01:05:16,212 --> 01:05:18,648
He is. He's on his way to you now.
1352
01:05:18,915 --> 01:05:21,418
He thinks he's in an old episode
of Mindhorn.
1353
01:05:21,484 --> 01:05:24,921
And I just need you
to keep him there and I will...
1354
01:05:24,988 --> 01:05:26,256
I will come to you, okay?
1355
01:05:26,322 --> 01:05:27,322
So, just wait there.
1356
01:05:27,957 --> 01:05:29,959
[gasping]
1357
01:05:31,561 --> 01:05:32,561
Where's the car?
1358
01:05:34,397 --> 01:05:35,665
No! Where is it?
1359
01:05:36,599 --> 01:05:38,201
Where's the bloody car?!
1360
01:05:38,635 --> 01:05:40,270
It should be here!
1361
01:05:41,337 --> 01:05:42,572
It should be...!
1362
01:05:43,973 --> 01:05:45,542
[whimpering, then laughing]
1363
01:05:53,983 --> 01:05:54,983
Richard?
1364
01:05:56,719 --> 01:05:57,719
Are you okay?
1365
01:06:02,025 --> 01:06:04,427
No. I'm having a really bad day.
1366
01:06:05,361 --> 01:06:07,330
- Where's my car?
- Why don't you just...?
1367
01:06:07,397 --> 01:06:09,165
Just come... Come and sit down.
1368
01:06:09,232 --> 01:06:10,733
Can't sit down. I'm glued in.
1369
01:06:11,000 --> 01:06:12,569
Just calm down and...
1370
01:06:12,635 --> 01:06:14,170
Baines is trying to kill me.
1371
01:06:14,404 --> 01:06:15,438
She's corrupt.
1372
01:06:15,505 --> 01:06:16,506
There's a bald man.
1373
01:06:17,440 --> 01:06:19,742
He's... He's got cats on his shoes.
1374
01:06:20,009 --> 01:06:23,680
I've seen them. Not real cats. False cats.
Tiny false cats on his shoes.
1375
01:06:23,746 --> 01:06:25,982
Richard, none of this is real.
1376
01:06:26,049 --> 01:06:27,150
It's all real!
1377
01:06:27,650 --> 01:06:30,386
It's come real.
Where's my car? Where's it gone?
1378
01:06:30,453 --> 01:06:31,354
The car?
1379
01:06:31,421 --> 01:06:33,156
Uh, Clive is bringing the car.
1380
01:06:33,223 --> 01:06:35,525
He's bringing the car.
It'll be here in a few minutes.
1381
01:06:36,192 --> 01:06:38,761
- [panting]
- Now, just calm down and talk to me.
1382
01:06:39,028 --> 01:06:40,530
They're coming. I can't wait here.
1383
01:06:40,597 --> 01:06:42,232
Let's talk about... About us.
1384
01:06:42,298 --> 01:06:43,366
Us? There is no us.
1385
01:06:44,033 --> 01:06:47,670
I blew it. I walked out on the only thing
that ever meant anything to me. You.
1386
01:06:49,739 --> 01:06:53,276
Since I left you,
my life has been really quite bad.
1387
01:06:54,077 --> 01:06:57,247
Richard, it's all right. It's all right.
1388
01:06:57,514 --> 01:07:00,316
Leaving you was the biggest mistake
of my life.
1389
01:07:01,451 --> 01:07:02,485
[Melly squawking]
1390
01:07:03,119 --> 01:07:04,119
What is that?
1391
01:07:05,255 --> 01:07:06,255
Kestrel.
1392
01:07:07,257 --> 01:07:08,257
Sorry.
1393
01:07:08,591 --> 01:07:09,591
I'm so sorry.
1394
01:07:11,160 --> 01:07:14,097
[Clive laughing] Yes.
1395
01:07:14,163 --> 01:07:15,498
So, he's not dead.
1396
01:07:15,565 --> 01:07:17,734
He just fell asleep on the sunbed.
1397
01:07:17,800 --> 01:07:19,669
Put down the gardening equipment, Clive.
1398
01:07:19,736 --> 01:07:25,174
Get out of my house before I strim
that stupid fucking wig off.
1399
01:07:25,241 --> 01:07:29,045
Where's my car?!
1400
01:07:29,112 --> 01:07:30,313
Don't tell him, Clive.
1401
01:07:31,648 --> 01:07:33,816
Pete took it for the parade.
1402
01:07:34,484 --> 01:07:35,385
What's going on?
1403
01:07:35,451 --> 01:07:37,754
Stay away from him, Jasmine.
His brain's come loose.
1404
01:07:37,820 --> 01:07:40,757
Whatever happens next,
I want you to remember two things.
1405
01:07:41,558 --> 01:07:43,293
One, I'm innocent.
1406
01:07:44,193 --> 01:07:47,463
And two, Daddy loves you.
1407
01:07:52,201 --> 01:07:54,170
[Richard grunting]
1408
01:07:54,237 --> 01:07:57,373
Oh, shit. Oh, no. Dear.
These are nothing to do with me.
1409
01:07:57,440 --> 01:07:59,542
Oh, Richard. Dirty, dirty Richard.
1410
01:07:59,609 --> 01:08:00,743
You're pathetic.
1411
01:08:01,277 --> 01:08:02,278
These aren't mine.
1412
01:08:02,712 --> 01:08:03,746
What are all these?
1413
01:08:04,380 --> 01:08:07,317
They're from my, uh, pen pal
in, uh, France.
1414
01:08:11,354 --> 01:08:12,674
[Pat] These are all from Richard.
1415
01:08:13,856 --> 01:08:15,458
I was trying to protect you, Pat.
1416
01:08:16,793 --> 01:08:17,827
The man is poison.
1417
01:08:20,463 --> 01:08:21,463
I'm going to work.
1418
01:08:27,470 --> 01:08:28,638
[Richard] There she blows.
1419
01:08:28,705 --> 01:08:31,140
[Melly] And a load of fake Mindhorns.
1420
01:08:36,312 --> 01:08:39,682
I really do think this could be
the best Manx Day we've ever had.
1421
01:08:40,350 --> 01:08:41,451
Sorry I'm late.
1422
01:08:41,517 --> 01:08:43,553
Better late than never, Pat.
1423
01:08:43,620 --> 01:08:44,554
Um...
1424
01:08:44,621 --> 01:08:48,391
I'll be making my speech
slightly later than scheduled.
1425
01:08:49,459 --> 01:08:51,861
I've provided copies for you all.
1426
01:08:52,128 --> 01:08:54,530
They're on the table in the entrance hall.
1427
01:08:55,164 --> 01:08:56,299
Thanks, everyone.
1428
01:08:56,766 --> 01:08:58,668
Go enjoy the madness.
1429
01:08:58,735 --> 01:09:00,203
[chuckles] All right?
1430
01:09:00,269 --> 01:09:01,270
Okay, thanks.
1431
01:09:04,907 --> 01:09:06,342
Pat, could I have a word?
1432
01:09:06,442 --> 01:09:08,887
- [man 1] I'll see you back at the office.
- [man 2] At the office. Yeah.
1433
01:09:08,911 --> 01:09:09,911
All right.
1434
01:09:11,180 --> 01:09:13,816
- Nice to meet you actually.
- Yeah. I must give you my card.
1435
01:09:19,922 --> 01:09:21,691
Pat, Pat, Pat.
1436
01:09:23,626 --> 01:09:24,827
You know, don't you?
1437
01:09:32,168 --> 01:09:33,836
I'm in a bit of a pickle, aren't I?
1438
01:09:34,470 --> 01:09:35,738
I mean, you're a journalist.
1439
01:09:35,805 --> 01:09:39,342
You're not gonna keep it to yourself,
are you? Something this big?
1440
01:09:40,610 --> 01:09:42,478
How can I let you leave this room?
1441
01:09:43,780 --> 01:09:47,950
I absolutely cannot have people
finding out that I'm bald.
1442
01:09:55,792 --> 01:09:57,694
I think bald men are sexy.
1443
01:10:00,730 --> 01:10:01,931
Yeah, I think you're right.
1444
01:10:02,198 --> 01:10:03,533
[cell phone buzzing] Oh.
1445
01:10:03,900 --> 01:10:05,201
I'll have to take this.
1446
01:10:06,669 --> 01:10:09,439
[Baines] The tape's at the parade.
I'm going after them.
1447
01:10:13,376 --> 01:10:14,376
She knows.
1448
01:10:21,384 --> 01:10:25,488
Welcome, one and all,
to the Manx Day parade.
1449
01:10:25,555 --> 01:10:27,957
We're gonna have some great fun.
1450
01:10:29,559 --> 01:10:30,559
Thank you.
1451
01:10:30,893 --> 01:10:34,931
I wonder who's gonna win
today's Float of the Year competition.
1452
01:10:34,997 --> 01:10:37,633
Could it be the really big spider?
1453
01:10:37,900 --> 01:10:40,937
Or the two massive papier-mâché heads?
1454
01:10:41,003 --> 01:10:44,574
Or perhaps the crazy caterpillar?
Runner-up last year.
1455
01:10:45,241 --> 01:10:47,877
Fingers crossed
for no more trapped ankles.
1456
01:10:47,944 --> 01:10:52,715
And there's Trevor
in his intergalactic mobility scooter.
1457
01:10:52,782 --> 01:10:54,684
The Windjammer float there.
1458
01:10:55,551 --> 01:10:56,886
Always good fun.
1459
01:10:57,253 --> 01:11:01,457
It's the most successful TV program
ever made on the Isle of Man.
1460
01:11:01,691 --> 01:11:04,327
Oh, and, look, it's the villain.
1461
01:11:04,761 --> 01:11:08,297
But Windjammer disarms him
and saves the day.
1462
01:11:08,698 --> 01:11:09,698
Super stuff.
1463
01:11:09,832 --> 01:11:13,536
- New this year, the Mindhorn contingent.
- Oh, look!
1464
01:11:13,603 --> 01:11:15,505
Remember Mindhorn, folks?
1465
01:11:15,905 --> 01:11:19,475
Mindhorn, of course,
originally played by, um...
1466
01:11:19,909 --> 01:11:21,878
Oh, and who's this?
1467
01:11:21,944 --> 01:11:25,882
Another Mindhorn and a crazy person.
1468
01:11:25,948 --> 01:11:27,283
A sort of chicken man.
1469
01:11:35,324 --> 01:11:38,861
I don't remember the episode
"Mindhorn and the Chicken Man."
1470
01:11:38,928 --> 01:11:41,364
But, uh, what's Mindhorn doing now?
1471
01:11:41,564 --> 01:11:46,769
No doubt finding some crucial piece
of evidence to uncover the truth.
1472
01:11:48,037 --> 01:11:50,773
And here comes the baddie.
1473
01:11:51,507 --> 01:11:52,375
Oh, no.
1474
01:11:52,441 --> 01:11:54,577
[grunts, then crowd cheering]
1475
01:11:54,644 --> 01:11:57,013
Oh-ho-ho. Wonderful look-a-like there.
1476
01:11:57,079 --> 01:12:01,851
Doesn't she look like Manx TV's
very own Pat Deville?
1477
01:12:02,485 --> 01:12:03,786
[engine revving]
1478
01:12:04,654 --> 01:12:05,555
Go, go, go!
1479
01:12:05,621 --> 01:12:06,689
I can't make it go.
1480
01:12:06,756 --> 01:12:09,659
I knew you hadn't passed your test,
you naughty liar.
1481
01:12:10,326 --> 01:12:14,530
You can take my woman,
but you can't take my fucking car.
1482
01:12:14,964 --> 01:12:16,799
- Can't make it go!
- The handbrake's on.
1483
01:12:16,866 --> 01:12:18,146
[Richard] Where's the handbrake?
1484
01:12:18,334 --> 01:12:20,636
- It's over there.
- You're like a Formula champion.
1485
01:12:21,404 --> 01:12:22,438
Oh, shit!
1486
01:12:22,505 --> 01:12:23,506
[crowd groans]
1487
01:12:24,974 --> 01:12:26,642
[man] Fantastic!
1488
01:12:27,076 --> 01:12:28,778
Full marks to the stuntman.
1489
01:12:29,445 --> 01:12:30,112
I wasn't ready.
1490
01:12:30,379 --> 01:12:32,048
- I can't actually drive.
- Get out.
1491
01:12:32,114 --> 01:12:32,982
I never learnt.
1492
01:12:33,049 --> 01:12:34,929
- [Pat] Oh, shut up!
- [Richard] I never had to.
1493
01:12:35,451 --> 01:12:37,653
I was driven everywhere,
I didn't have to bother.
1494
01:12:38,020 --> 01:12:39,589
Hi. Yep, hello.
1495
01:12:41,891 --> 01:12:45,394
[man]
And here's the baddie retrieving her gun.
1496
01:12:45,461 --> 01:12:47,663
- [Pat] Get in the car!
- What?
1497
01:12:47,730 --> 01:12:48,865
- [gunshot]
- Oh!
1498
01:12:48,931 --> 01:12:49,931
[man] Classic!
1499
01:12:52,068 --> 01:12:53,669
And now the nail-biting finale.
1500
01:12:53,736 --> 01:12:54,937
[gunshot]
1501
01:12:58,374 --> 01:13:01,978
Oh, bad luck, baddie, and that's Mindhorn.
1502
01:13:02,044 --> 01:13:03,946
Winner of the day in my view.
1503
01:13:04,547 --> 01:13:05,547
Great stuff.
1504
01:13:09,819 --> 01:13:11,153
[yelling]
1505
01:13:11,420 --> 01:13:14,991
We're flying to the truth!
1506
01:13:15,591 --> 01:13:16,659
[Melly squawking]
1507
01:13:31,908 --> 01:13:33,028
[Richard] What are we doing?
1508
01:13:33,442 --> 01:13:34,443
It's a dead end.
1509
01:13:35,444 --> 01:13:36,444
Where are we?
1510
01:13:37,179 --> 01:13:38,915
This is your cove, Mindhorn.
1511
01:13:39,415 --> 01:13:40,850
- What?
- Where do we go from here?
1512
01:13:41,183 --> 01:13:42,518
Well, the tunnels.
1513
01:13:43,853 --> 01:13:45,488
- Melly.
- Melly, come on, come on.
1514
01:13:47,924 --> 01:13:49,558
[groaning]
1515
01:13:50,159 --> 01:13:51,527
[Pat] What's wrong?
1516
01:13:53,162 --> 01:13:55,631
That was... That was great, wasn't it?
1517
01:13:57,199 --> 01:13:58,434
You've been shot.
1518
01:13:59,201 --> 01:14:00,069
[Richard] You're bleeding.
1519
01:14:00,136 --> 01:14:01,704
No, no, no, don't worry.
1520
01:14:01,771 --> 01:14:02,872
It's fake blood.
1521
01:14:04,473 --> 01:14:05,608
Oh, no, that's there.
1522
01:14:06,075 --> 01:14:07,610
We have to get you some help.
1523
01:14:08,110 --> 01:14:09,211
I'm dying, Mindhorn.
1524
01:14:09,478 --> 01:14:10,613
No. No, you're not.
1525
01:14:11,480 --> 01:14:12,480
This is the end.
1526
01:14:12,982 --> 01:14:14,750
- No.
- Go on without me. Leave me here.
1527
01:14:14,817 --> 01:14:15,817
I'm not leaving you.
1528
01:14:18,955 --> 01:14:20,456
Because I'm a good partner?
1529
01:14:20,990 --> 01:14:23,726
You're the best damn partner
a man could ask for, Kestrel.
1530
01:14:24,694 --> 01:14:26,195
Your parents would be proud of you.
1531
01:14:27,163 --> 01:14:28,163
I'm proud of you.
1532
01:14:30,199 --> 01:14:31,199
Thanks, Mindhorn.
1533
01:14:32,768 --> 01:14:35,037
It's been an honor to be your partner.
1534
01:14:36,973 --> 01:14:39,108
Well, it's the best 15 minutes of my life.
1535
01:14:41,844 --> 01:14:43,145
Here's the copy of the tape.
1536
01:14:43,813 --> 01:14:44,813
Now go.
1537
01:14:45,147 --> 01:14:48,985
Promise me...
you'll clear my name, Mindhorn.
1538
01:14:50,019 --> 01:14:50,886
I promise.
1539
01:14:50,953 --> 01:14:51,954
And promise me...
1540
01:14:52,955 --> 01:14:55,725
you two will finally get it together.
1541
01:14:56,225 --> 01:14:58,194
I'm sorry, I can't promise you that.
1542
01:14:59,195 --> 01:15:00,997
I mean... yes.
1543
01:15:02,164 --> 01:15:04,000
Give him a kiss, Angela.
1544
01:15:13,175 --> 01:15:15,911
One last thing, Mindhorn.
1545
01:15:16,545 --> 01:15:20,616
Tell me the truth
about Richard Thorncroft.
1546
01:15:21,917 --> 01:15:22,952
Who is he?
1547
01:15:26,155 --> 01:15:28,190
Let's just say
he's someone I used to know.
1548
01:15:29,125 --> 01:15:30,826
Right. That's...
1549
01:15:41,137 --> 01:15:42,772
You poor, deluded fool.
1550
01:15:44,840 --> 01:15:46,075
I am Richard Thorncroft.
1551
01:15:59,955 --> 01:16:01,195
At least he didn't die in vain.
1552
01:16:04,727 --> 01:16:06,095
What the hell is this?
1553
01:16:09,098 --> 01:16:11,233
Yep. It's Plasticine.
1554
01:16:12,601 --> 01:16:14,837
Yep. It's a Plasticine copy.
1555
01:16:14,904 --> 01:16:16,105
[laughing]
1556
01:16:16,906 --> 01:16:18,307
It's Plasticine.
1557
01:16:21,677 --> 01:16:22,878
[screaming]
1558
01:16:31,320 --> 01:16:32,321
Quick.
1559
01:16:40,729 --> 01:16:42,364
[grunting]
1560
01:16:55,811 --> 01:16:58,291
[Richard on recording]
It's time for the Apocalypse of Justice.
1561
01:17:08,958 --> 01:17:10,292
[rocks clattering]
1562
01:17:10,359 --> 01:17:11,393
Baines, don't shoot.
1563
01:17:13,662 --> 01:17:14,662
We've got the tape.
1564
01:17:15,231 --> 01:17:16,799
Richard has it. It's safe.
1565
01:17:16,866 --> 01:17:17,900
I'll take you to him.
1566
01:17:17,967 --> 01:17:19,869
Maybe we could strike a deal.
1567
01:17:19,935 --> 01:17:23,806
- I don't wanna see the mayor go down.
- Pat, is that the best you can do?
1568
01:17:24,773 --> 01:17:26,408
I thought you were a good actress.
1569
01:17:26,876 --> 01:17:28,010
[Richard] She's good enough.
1570
01:17:28,711 --> 01:17:29,712
Lose the piece.
1571
01:17:33,849 --> 01:17:34,950
Turn around.
1572
01:17:35,017 --> 01:17:36,017
Slowly.
1573
01:17:36,919 --> 01:17:37,987
Hands in the air.
1574
01:17:40,289 --> 01:17:41,857
Now who's holding all the aces?
1575
01:17:42,258 --> 01:17:43,192
[Richard shouts]
1576
01:17:43,259 --> 01:17:44,259
Me, I think.
1577
01:17:44,793 --> 01:17:47,129
- You idiot!
- I didn't know she was gonna do that.
1578
01:17:47,196 --> 01:17:48,364
[gunshot]
1579
01:17:48,430 --> 01:17:49,798
[grunts]
1580
01:17:49,865 --> 01:17:50,933
No!
1581
01:17:51,100 --> 01:17:52,168
Patricia!
1582
01:17:53,669 --> 01:17:54,904
Patricia, Patricia.
1583
01:17:55,104 --> 01:17:56,104
Richard.
1584
01:17:56,839 --> 01:17:57,839
I'm so sorry.
1585
01:17:58,741 --> 01:17:59,742
No, I'm sorry.
1586
01:18:00,442 --> 01:18:02,444
I never knew
you wrote me all those letters.
1587
01:18:02,711 --> 01:18:04,046
Shh. That doesn't matter now.
1588
01:18:04,113 --> 01:18:05,714
Clive hid them from me.
1589
01:18:05,781 --> 01:18:06,781
What a wanker.
1590
01:18:08,117 --> 01:18:10,152
I'm sorry that I never believed you.
1591
01:18:10,686 --> 01:18:11,686
I'm sorry.
1592
01:18:13,756 --> 01:18:14,857
I love you, Richard.
1593
01:18:16,358 --> 01:18:18,060
[coughing]
1594
01:18:22,965 --> 01:18:23,866
Fucking hell.
1595
01:18:23,933 --> 01:18:25,201
Where's the tape, Richard?
1596
01:18:28,237 --> 01:18:29,305
There is no tape.
1597
01:18:30,439 --> 01:18:31,473
It's fake.
1598
01:18:32,174 --> 01:18:34,043
Like everything else in my life!
1599
01:18:35,077 --> 01:18:36,946
Without her, I may as well be dead.
1600
01:18:37,012 --> 01:18:38,814
[Richard groaning]
1601
01:18:39,481 --> 01:18:40,783
Just a figure of speech.
1602
01:18:44,086 --> 01:18:45,086
Why?
1603
01:18:46,755 --> 01:18:47,756
Why?
1604
01:18:50,025 --> 01:18:53,462
The mayor's my uncle...
so I've gotta clean up his mess.
1605
01:18:54,496 --> 01:18:55,497
Family's family.
1606
01:18:57,399 --> 01:18:59,001
My family runs Man.
1607
01:18:59,068 --> 01:19:00,068
Call an ambulance.
1608
01:19:00,869 --> 01:19:01,869
It's not too late.
1609
01:19:02,271 --> 01:19:03,271
I can forget.
1610
01:19:03,839 --> 01:19:06,508
- What, that I killed Moncrief?
- Yeah, that.
1611
01:19:10,246 --> 01:19:12,481
I... I can pretend I don't know that.
1612
01:19:13,148 --> 01:19:14,148
I can pretend.
1613
01:19:14,750 --> 01:19:17,086
- You're not that good an actor.
- [Richard grunts]
1614
01:19:23,025 --> 01:19:24,025
[man] Baines!
1615
01:19:24,893 --> 01:19:25,893
You all right?
1616
01:19:26,328 --> 01:19:27,396
He shot Pat!
1617
01:19:28,797 --> 01:19:31,066
He killed her
and then he tried to kill me and I, uh...
1618
01:19:31,133 --> 01:19:32,835
[sirens wailing]
1619
01:19:32,901 --> 01:19:34,303
I had to take him down!
1620
01:19:34,370 --> 01:19:36,205
I had to take him down!
1621
01:19:40,376 --> 01:19:41,376
- Baines?
- Chief.
1622
01:19:42,044 --> 01:19:43,879
There was nothing I could do. It was...
1623
01:19:44,813 --> 01:19:46,081
There was nothing I could do.
1624
01:19:50,252 --> 01:19:51,520
Nice working with you again.
1625
01:19:52,421 --> 01:19:54,023
What's going on, Thorncroft?
1626
01:19:55,057 --> 01:19:56,825
[Baines on recording]
The mayor's my uncle,
1627
01:19:56,892 --> 01:19:58,069
so I've gotta clean up his mess.
1628
01:19:58,093 --> 01:20:00,005
- [Richard] I can forget.
- [Baines]That I killed Moncrief?
1629
01:20:00,029 --> 01:20:01,964
- Yeah.
- You're not that good an actor.
1630
01:20:02,031 --> 01:20:03,031
Aren't I?
1631
01:20:03,232 --> 01:20:04,232
Heh.
1632
01:20:06,135 --> 01:20:07,345
- [Clive] Oh, hey, now.
- [Jasmine] Mom.
1633
01:20:07,369 --> 01:20:09,169
- [Clive] Hey, hey. Not cool.
- [Pat] Jasmine.
1634
01:20:09,238 --> 01:20:12,474
- Both sets of keys, give them to me.
- Think about what you're doing.
1635
01:20:12,541 --> 01:20:14,476
Keys now. Do it or I'll blow her away.
1636
01:20:14,543 --> 01:20:17,246
Get your filthy hands off my daughter.
1637
01:20:18,047 --> 01:20:20,215
[laughing] She's not your daughter.
1638
01:20:20,883 --> 01:20:22,384
She's Windjammer's daughter.
1639
01:20:23,886 --> 01:20:24,953
[Pat] Clive, do something.
1640
01:20:25,821 --> 01:20:28,524
- I'm not wearing the appropriate footwear.
- Stand down, Clive.
1641
01:20:29,091 --> 01:20:30,459
It's time I did my own stunts.
1642
01:20:38,334 --> 01:20:39,401
It's Ginga time.
1643
01:20:55,417 --> 01:20:56,585
This...
1644
01:20:57,519 --> 01:21:00,322
is the Ginga.
1645
01:21:00,956 --> 01:21:02,558
[gun shots]
1646
01:21:02,624 --> 01:21:04,093
[shouting]
1647
01:21:04,159 --> 01:21:06,061
[gun shots continue]
1648
01:21:11,166 --> 01:21:15,137
I'm moving between the air.
1649
01:21:22,277 --> 01:21:24,079
I'm here.
1650
01:21:26,448 --> 01:21:30,386
I'm the bringer of the Ginga!
1651
01:21:32,988 --> 01:21:34,456
And that's capoeira.
1652
01:21:38,927 --> 01:21:39,927
Jas.
1653
01:21:42,631 --> 01:21:43,932
The mayor was her uncle.
1654
01:21:44,066 --> 01:21:46,201
Seems I was right
about the limited gene pool.
1655
01:21:46,268 --> 01:21:47,436
[both laughing]
1656
01:21:47,669 --> 01:21:50,205
I am sorry
that I rode you so hard back then.
1657
01:21:50,272 --> 01:21:52,908
I hope we can put our differences
behind us.
1658
01:21:52,975 --> 01:21:53,675
I will if you will.
1659
01:21:53,942 --> 01:21:57,446
And, if it helps at all,
I was pretty wasted all those years ago.
1660
01:21:57,613 --> 01:21:59,982
I don't even remember
that night with your wife.
1661
01:22:00,048 --> 01:22:02,017
- What night with my wife?
- That's the spirit.
1662
01:22:03,419 --> 01:22:07,055
Oh, my God, Richard, that was so brave.
It's a miracle that you weren't shot.
1663
01:22:07,489 --> 01:22:09,925
Ah, no more lies. I have to be honest.
1664
01:22:09,992 --> 01:22:11,560
I knew there were blanks in that gun.
1665
01:22:12,494 --> 01:22:14,430
Um... No, no, this is Baines' gun.
1666
01:22:14,496 --> 01:22:15,998
That was live ammunition.
1667
01:22:19,468 --> 01:22:20,468
[Pat] Richard.
1668
01:22:22,571 --> 01:22:23,572
I've got you.
1669
01:22:24,406 --> 01:22:25,541
You've got me, all right.
1670
01:22:27,176 --> 01:22:28,277
And that is the truth.
1671
01:22:28,977 --> 01:22:29,977
[chuckles]
1672
01:24:42,144 --> 01:24:44,079
["Can't Handcuff the Wind" playing]
1673
01:24:54,222 --> 01:24:56,491
♪ We had some fun together ♪
1674
01:24:56,558 --> 01:25:01,129
♪ But I never
I never promised you forever ♪
1675
01:25:02,197 --> 01:25:03,432
♪ No, no, no ♪
1676
01:25:04,333 --> 01:25:07,569
♪ You can't handcuff the wind ♪
1677
01:25:08,370 --> 01:25:11,273
♪ But if you try, you're gonna fail ♪
1678
01:25:12,841 --> 01:25:16,178
♪ It's like trying
To put thunder in jail ♪
1679
01:25:16,244 --> 01:25:19,448
♪ You can't handcuff the wind ♪
1680
01:25:20,582 --> 01:25:23,385
♪ But if you try, you're gonna fail ♪
1681
01:25:25,153 --> 01:25:27,856
♪ It's like trying
To put thunder in jail ♪
1682
01:25:28,357 --> 01:25:30,225
♪ You can't handcuff the wind ♪
1683
01:25:30,292 --> 01:25:32,794
♪ I feel the pull of the open road ♪
1684
01:25:32,861 --> 01:25:34,863
♪ I'm headin' out into the night ♪
1685
01:25:36,164 --> 01:25:38,367
♪ Gotta loosen up your grip, girl ♪
1686
01:25:38,767 --> 01:25:41,136
♪ You're holding on a little too tight ♪
1687
01:25:42,237 --> 01:25:44,740
♪ We roll the dice
We played the game ♪
1688
01:25:44,806 --> 01:25:47,175
♪ Now every card's been turned ♪
1689
01:25:48,143 --> 01:25:53,515
♪ Girl, if you're trying to hold onto fire
You're gonna get burned ♪
1690
01:25:53,582 --> 01:25:55,751
♪ You can't handcuff the wind ♪
1691
01:25:56,418 --> 01:25:58,920
♪ And if you try, you're gonna fail ♪
1692
01:26:00,922 --> 01:26:03,792
♪ It's like tryin'
To put thunder in jail ♪
1693
01:26:04,526 --> 01:26:06,328
♪ You can't handcuff the wind ♪
1694
01:26:06,395 --> 01:26:08,463
♪ And if you're trying to fence me in ♪
1695
01:26:08,530 --> 01:26:12,734
♪ I'll break down those fences
And run like a stallion in the night ♪
1696
01:26:12,801 --> 01:26:16,338
♪ I'm gonna burn so bright
Like a white hot flame ♪
1697
01:26:16,405 --> 01:26:19,207
♪ Till everybody knows my name ♪
1698
01:26:29,818 --> 01:26:32,587
♪ The open road, she calls my name ♪
1699
01:26:32,654 --> 01:26:34,890
♪ There's itching in my feet ♪
1700
01:26:36,224 --> 01:26:38,660
♪ I got an engine that you can't tame ♪
1701
01:26:38,727 --> 01:26:40,796
♪ Even with your mouth so sweet ♪
1702
01:26:42,297 --> 01:26:44,466
♪ A thousand kisses and sad goodbyes ♪
1703
01:26:44,533 --> 01:26:46,768
♪ But it's too late for any more ♪
1704
01:26:47,836 --> 01:26:50,472
♪ The ferry to the mainland
Leaves at six ♪
1705
01:26:50,539 --> 01:26:52,874
♪ I gotta be there 20 minutes before ♪
1706
01:26:52,941 --> 01:26:55,777
♪ You can't handcuff the wind ♪
1707
01:26:56,578 --> 01:26:59,381
♪ And if you try, you're gonna fail ♪
1708
01:27:00,982 --> 01:27:04,519
♪ It's like trying
To put thunder in jail ♪
1709
01:27:04,586 --> 01:27:07,389
♪ You can't handcuff the wind ♪