1 00:00:25,234 --> 00:00:26,861 (CLASSICAL MUSIC PLAYING) 2 00:00:43,795 --> 00:00:46,632 What separates 3 00:00:46,633 --> 00:00:49,467 the casual Jane Austen fan 4 00:00:43,795 --> 00:00:49,467 from the aficionado? 5 00:00:49,508 --> 00:00:52,428 Is it her admiration 6 00:00:52,429 --> 00:00:55,347 for the style and manners 7 00:00:49,508 --> 00:00:55,347 of the Regency era? 8 00:00:55,389 --> 00:00:57,163 The number of times 9 00:00:57,164 --> 00:00:58,935 she has read 10 00:00:55,389 --> 00:00:58,935 Austen's novels? 11 00:00:58,977 --> 00:01:00,791 Or her consuming love 12 00:01:00,792 --> 00:01:02,605 for Mr. Darcy? 13 00:01:08,027 --> 00:01:10,947 ♪ L-O-V-E-D-A-R-C-Y 14 00:01:12,490 --> 00:01:13,616 Nice cup. 15 00:01:13,658 --> 00:01:14,700 Thanks. 16 00:01:15,952 --> 00:01:17,704 ♪ And it begins 17 00:01:17,705 --> 00:01:19,455 like any other 18 00:01:19,497 --> 00:01:21,332 ♪ Since she was very young 19 00:01:21,874 --> 00:01:23,292 Oh. 20 00:01:23,334 --> 00:01:25,210 Sexy. 21 00:01:25,252 --> 00:01:26,545 Okay. 22 00:01:26,587 --> 00:01:27,880 I'll see you for lunch. 23 00:01:27,922 --> 00:01:29,173 Yeah, okay. 24 00:01:35,013 --> 00:01:37,222 ♪ You try to catch her eye 25 00:01:39,017 --> 00:01:40,122 ♪ But she doesn't 26 00:01:40,123 --> 00:01:41,226 want to see 27 00:01:44,355 --> 00:01:45,731 - MAN: (ON TV) - Miss Bennet... 28 00:01:47,066 --> 00:01:49,276 This is the best part. 29 00:01:49,318 --> 00:01:51,216 ♪ She's singing 30 00:01:51,217 --> 00:01:53,113 my boy loves me 31 00:01:53,155 --> 00:01:54,907 Unbelievable. 32 00:01:57,618 --> 00:02:00,163 ♪ My boy loves me 33 00:02:00,164 --> 00:02:02,707 I know ♪ 34 00:02:10,089 --> 00:02:11,507 - Hey, Jane. - Ex-boyfriend alert. 35 00:02:11,549 --> 00:02:14,134 Hey, Horseface. 36 00:02:14,176 --> 00:02:15,427 - Jimmy, - what are you doing here? 37 00:02:15,469 --> 00:02:17,221 - Well, I heard you - broke up with Greg. 38 00:02:17,262 --> 00:02:19,098 So that means you're free 39 00:02:19,099 --> 00:02:20,933 to go bowling tonight. 40 00:02:20,975 --> 00:02:22,643 - Oops! - Jimmy! You know what? 41 00:02:22,685 --> 00:02:23,895 If "no" was 42 00:02:23,896 --> 00:02:25,104 unclear last time... 43 00:02:26,605 --> 00:02:27,899 - I don't wanna - see you again. 44 00:02:30,068 --> 00:02:32,111 I picked you 45 00:02:32,112 --> 00:02:34,154 on purpose, Jane Hayes. 46 00:02:30,068 --> 00:02:34,154 Thirty plus, clock ticking. 47 00:02:34,196 --> 00:02:35,343 I'm as good 48 00:02:35,344 --> 00:02:36,490 as it gets, baby. 49 00:02:36,532 --> 00:02:38,117 MRS. WATTLESBROOK: 50 00:02:38,118 --> 00:02:39,702 A true aficionado of Austen 51 00:02:36,532 --> 00:02:39,702 does so much more 52 00:02:39,744 --> 00:02:41,246 than merely read her 53 00:02:41,247 --> 00:02:42,747 novels and admire 54 00:02:39,744 --> 00:02:42,747 her world from afar. 55 00:02:43,247 --> 00:02:44,874 Excuse me. 56 00:02:44,916 --> 00:02:48,210 She finds her way here 57 00:02:48,252 --> 00:02:50,922 to the world's 58 00:02:50,923 --> 00:02:53,591 only immersive 59 00:02:48,252 --> 00:02:53,591 Austen experience. 60 00:02:55,259 --> 00:02:56,886 MOLLY: Is that a Chihuahua? 61 00:02:56,928 --> 00:02:58,679 - It's a lamb. Shut up. - Just trying to hear it. 62 00:02:58,721 --> 00:02:59,972 This looks really cheap. 63 00:03:00,014 --> 00:03:01,037 AGENT: 64 00:03:01,038 --> 00:03:02,058 I've toured the grounds 65 00:03:00,014 --> 00:03:02,058 and it's not cheap. 66 00:03:02,100 --> 00:03:03,789 This is high class. 67 00:03:03,790 --> 00:03:05,477 This is big time. 68 00:03:05,519 --> 00:03:06,875 Jane, are you really 69 00:03:06,876 --> 00:03:08,230 gonna blow your entire 70 00:03:08,272 --> 00:03:09,711 life savings on 71 00:03:09,712 --> 00:03:11,150 an "Austen experience"? 72 00:03:11,191 --> 00:03:12,735 Now, hold on just a second, 73 00:03:12,777 --> 00:03:14,153 here at Sensuous Travel, 74 00:03:14,194 --> 00:03:15,217 we are not just another 75 00:03:15,218 --> 00:03:16,238 run-of-the-mill 76 00:03:14,194 --> 00:03:16,238 vacation place. 77 00:03:16,280 --> 00:03:18,095 This is what we call 78 00:03:18,096 --> 00:03:19,909 an "LC." A Life-Changer. 79 00:03:19,951 --> 00:03:22,182 You get to play the 80 00:03:22,183 --> 00:03:24,413 heroine of your very own 81 00:03:19,951 --> 00:03:24,413 Jane Austen story. 82 00:03:24,455 --> 00:03:26,248 - Would you like to - see some of the staff? 83 00:03:26,290 --> 00:03:28,250 - Yeah. - No. 84 00:03:28,292 --> 00:03:29,606 Now this is Barnaby. 85 00:03:29,607 --> 00:03:30,920 He's a vegan. 86 00:03:30,962 --> 00:03:32,026 He enjoys nightly 87 00:03:32,027 --> 00:03:33,089 dips in the pond, 88 00:03:33,131 --> 00:03:34,153 and he has a pony 89 00:03:34,154 --> 00:03:35,174 named Sparkles Pancake. 90 00:03:35,215 --> 00:03:36,801 That is horrendous. 91 00:03:36,842 --> 00:03:38,115 I also heard that 92 00:03:38,116 --> 00:03:39,386 people in those days 93 00:03:36,842 --> 00:03:39,386 didn't wear underwear. 94 00:03:39,428 --> 00:03:40,471 That's a lie. 95 00:03:40,512 --> 00:03:42,056 It's not a lie. 96 00:03:42,098 --> 00:03:44,184 Look, every stay 97 00:03:44,185 --> 00:03:46,268 at Austenland ends with 98 00:03:42,098 --> 00:03:46,268 a real live ball, 99 00:03:46,310 --> 00:03:48,125 as in ballroom, 100 00:03:48,126 --> 00:03:49,939 as in happily ever after. 101 00:03:49,981 --> 00:03:51,149 - Do you understand - what I'm saying? 102 00:03:51,190 --> 00:03:52,274 Totally. 103 00:03:52,316 --> 00:03:53,880 Jane. So you go on 104 00:03:53,881 --> 00:03:55,444 some fancy vacation, 105 00:03:55,486 --> 00:03:56,946 - then what do you - come home to? 106 00:03:56,988 --> 00:03:58,135 Nothing except for 107 00:03:58,136 --> 00:03:59,281 an empty bank account. 108 00:03:59,323 --> 00:04:01,159 Why don't you save up 109 00:04:01,160 --> 00:04:02,994 for a real life-changer? 110 00:04:04,120 --> 00:04:06,080 - Like what? - Well, like... 111 00:04:06,122 --> 00:04:07,395 That's fine. 112 00:04:07,396 --> 00:04:08,666 Maybe come back another time 113 00:04:06,122 --> 00:04:08,666 without your friend. 114 00:04:08,707 --> 00:04:10,209 We'll get you squared away. 115 00:04:10,250 --> 00:04:12,086 - I think I can - figure out some kind 116 00:04:10,250 --> 00:04:12,086 Of layaway program for you. 117 00:04:13,087 --> 00:04:14,630 Thank you so much. 118 00:04:14,672 --> 00:04:16,257 You guys take care. 119 00:04:16,258 --> 00:04:17,842 Thanks for being you. 120 00:04:14,672 --> 00:04:17,842 Appreciate you. 121 00:04:24,890 --> 00:04:27,310 Listen, this is my one 122 00:04:27,311 --> 00:04:29,728 chance to really live in 123 00:04:24,890 --> 00:04:29,728 Austen's world. Okay? 124 00:04:29,770 --> 00:04:31,355 I'm her biggest fan. 125 00:04:31,396 --> 00:04:32,606 Come on. 126 00:04:32,648 --> 00:04:33,858 No. No. 127 00:04:33,899 --> 00:04:35,734 You used to be a fan. 128 00:04:35,776 --> 00:04:37,778 You are an addict. 129 00:04:37,820 --> 00:04:39,030 You don't have to go in 130 00:04:39,031 --> 00:04:40,239 there because I'm packing. 131 00:04:37,820 --> 00:04:40,239 It's a mess in there. 132 00:04:40,280 --> 00:04:41,573 You don't wanna go in there. 133 00:04:41,615 --> 00:04:43,367 Oh, Janey. 134 00:04:43,368 --> 00:04:45,119 It's gotten so much worse. 135 00:04:48,539 --> 00:04:49,832 - (SQUEAKING) - I love you. 136 00:04:49,874 --> 00:04:51,500 - It's a collector's item - and that's why I have it. 137 00:04:51,542 --> 00:04:52,626 I have 10,000 a year. 138 00:04:53,544 --> 00:04:55,087 I've changed my mind. 139 00:04:55,129 --> 00:04:56,590 I totally support you 140 00:04:56,591 --> 00:04:58,049 going to this place, 141 00:04:58,090 --> 00:04:59,258 because I'm sure 142 00:04:59,259 --> 00:05:00,425 that the fantasy 143 00:05:00,467 --> 00:05:01,657 will not be as 144 00:05:01,658 --> 00:05:02,845 fulfilling as you imagine. 145 00:05:02,887 --> 00:05:04,304 - I don't think you - know where I'm going. 146 00:05:04,346 --> 00:05:05,848 Fine. 147 00:05:05,849 --> 00:05:07,349 We could make 148 00:05:04,346 --> 00:05:07,349 a wager on it. 149 00:05:07,391 --> 00:05:09,497 If I win, 150 00:05:09,498 --> 00:05:11,603 you de-Austen your room. 151 00:05:14,023 --> 00:05:15,170 Okay. 152 00:05:15,171 --> 00:05:16,316 Fine. 153 00:05:16,358 --> 00:05:18,382 And if you really must go, 154 00:05:18,383 --> 00:05:20,404 I made you 155 00:05:16,358 --> 00:05:20,404 a little farewell gift. 156 00:05:20,445 --> 00:05:21,989 You did? 157 00:05:23,032 --> 00:05:24,324 Aw. 158 00:05:26,577 --> 00:05:28,662 Wow. 159 00:05:28,704 --> 00:05:30,018 Which historical era 160 00:05:30,019 --> 00:05:31,331 is this supposed to be from? 161 00:05:31,373 --> 00:05:32,541 Hey, I spent three 162 00:05:32,542 --> 00:05:33,709 days working on it. 163 00:05:33,751 --> 00:05:35,544 Come here, let's hug it out. 164 00:05:36,837 --> 00:05:38,463 - Thank you. - Okay. 165 00:05:38,505 --> 00:05:40,758 When you get back, 166 00:05:40,759 --> 00:05:43,010 just clear this crap out 167 00:05:38,505 --> 00:05:43,010 because it's weird. 168 00:05:43,052 --> 00:05:44,720 - It's a hobby. - It's really weird. 169 00:05:44,762 --> 00:05:46,493 ♪ Ooh, baby, do you know 170 00:05:46,494 --> 00:05:48,224 what that's worth? 171 00:05:48,266 --> 00:05:50,185 ♪ Ooh, heaven is 172 00:05:50,186 --> 00:05:52,103 a place on earth 173 00:05:52,144 --> 00:05:54,230 ♪ They say in heaven 174 00:05:54,231 --> 00:05:56,315 love comes first 175 00:05:56,356 --> 00:05:58,275 ♪ We'll make heaven 176 00:05:58,276 --> 00:06:00,194 a place on earth 177 00:06:00,236 --> 00:06:02,322 ♪ Ooh, heaven is 178 00:06:02,323 --> 00:06:04,406 a place on earth 179 00:06:21,215 --> 00:06:22,800 ♪ When the night 180 00:06:22,801 --> 00:06:24,384 falls down ♪ 181 00:06:24,802 --> 00:06:25,928 Oh! 182 00:06:25,970 --> 00:06:27,763 Do you need a hand? 183 00:06:29,431 --> 00:06:31,934 Yay, an American. 184 00:06:31,976 --> 00:06:33,832 (CHUCKLES) 185 00:06:33,833 --> 00:06:35,687 I can't understand 186 00:06:31,976 --> 00:06:35,687 what the natives say. 187 00:06:35,729 --> 00:06:36,919 I think this is 188 00:06:36,920 --> 00:06:38,107 where we're supposed 189 00:06:35,729 --> 00:06:38,107 to wait, right? 190 00:06:38,149 --> 00:06:39,233 - You're going to - the Darcy place, too? 191 00:06:39,275 --> 00:06:40,442 Yes. 192 00:06:40,484 --> 00:06:42,027 - I memorized - the first three chapters 193 00:06:42,069 --> 00:06:43,779 - Of Pride and Prejudice - when I was 13. 194 00:06:43,821 --> 00:06:46,031 (CHUCKLES) What's that? 195 00:06:46,073 --> 00:06:47,574 Oh. Um... 196 00:06:48,909 --> 00:06:50,099 So why are you 197 00:06:50,100 --> 00:06:51,287 going to this place? 198 00:06:51,329 --> 00:06:53,539 Because I'm gonna look great 199 00:06:53,540 --> 00:06:55,749 in those wench gowns. 200 00:06:55,791 --> 00:06:57,815 Ooh. Gosh, I hope they 201 00:06:57,816 --> 00:06:59,837 give me a cape, too. 202 00:06:59,878 --> 00:07:00,922 Were we not supposed 203 00:07:00,923 --> 00:07:01,964 to come in costume? 204 00:07:02,006 --> 00:07:03,361 Thank goodness 205 00:07:03,362 --> 00:07:04,716 you're coming and not her. 206 00:07:04,758 --> 00:07:07,052 I'm Jane, by the way. 207 00:07:07,094 --> 00:07:08,908 Oh, goody. 208 00:07:08,909 --> 00:07:10,722 Introductions. Look. 209 00:07:12,432 --> 00:07:13,976 Hi. 210 00:07:14,018 --> 00:07:18,147 I'm Miss Elizabeth Charming. 211 00:07:18,189 --> 00:07:19,753 It's a pretty name, 212 00:07:19,754 --> 00:07:21,317 isn't it? 213 00:07:18,189 --> 00:07:21,317 I requested it. 214 00:07:21,359 --> 00:07:23,173 Yes, it's very beautiful. 215 00:07:23,174 --> 00:07:24,987 I can't wait to pick a name. 216 00:07:25,029 --> 00:07:27,489 How about Miss Pepperpot? 217 00:07:27,531 --> 00:07:29,950 Or Miss Wiggly Wiggins? 218 00:07:29,992 --> 00:07:31,098 Those are nice. 219 00:07:31,099 --> 00:07:32,203 (CAR HONKING) 220 00:07:35,206 --> 00:07:36,728 I knew this place 221 00:07:36,729 --> 00:07:38,250 would be magical. 222 00:07:38,292 --> 00:07:39,773 They even got us 223 00:07:39,774 --> 00:07:41,253 a car from the 1800s. 224 00:07:42,921 --> 00:07:45,174 Oh, thank you so much. 225 00:07:45,175 --> 00:07:47,426 I'm Miss Charming. 226 00:07:48,260 --> 00:07:49,970 This way. 227 00:07:50,012 --> 00:07:51,763 MAN: Bloody Americans! 228 00:07:51,805 --> 00:07:53,265 Mind the gap. 229 00:07:55,309 --> 00:07:56,999 Sorry. 230 00:07:57,000 --> 00:07:58,687 I was told I was supposed 231 00:07:55,309 --> 00:07:58,687 to wear a costume. 232 00:07:58,729 --> 00:08:00,356 So was I. 233 00:08:08,906 --> 00:08:11,242 God save the Queen! 234 00:08:15,246 --> 00:08:16,831 Chitty Chitty Bang Bang car? 235 00:08:16,832 --> 00:08:18,416 MISS CHARMING: Hey, 236 00:08:15,246 --> 00:08:18,416 do you think this is the 237 00:08:29,134 --> 00:08:30,552 (HONKING) 238 00:08:35,724 --> 00:08:36,892 It's smaller 239 00:08:36,893 --> 00:08:38,060 than I expected. 240 00:08:38,102 --> 00:08:40,729 Welcome to the Regency era. 241 00:08:40,771 --> 00:08:42,440 - This is just - a stop before we go 242 00:08:40,771 --> 00:08:42,440 To the big house. 243 00:08:42,481 --> 00:08:43,941 - I am Mrs. Wattlesbrook. - Okay. 244 00:08:43,982 --> 00:08:45,881 Miss Charming, 245 00:08:45,882 --> 00:08:47,778 I hope your travel 246 00:08:43,982 --> 00:08:47,778 was endurable. 247 00:08:47,819 --> 00:08:49,529 Oh, yes! 248 00:08:51,115 --> 00:08:52,345 (CLEARS THROAT) Jane Hayes. 249 00:08:52,346 --> 00:08:53,575 Yes. 250 00:08:53,617 --> 00:08:55,056 And I've been thinking 251 00:08:55,057 --> 00:08:56,495 about my pseudonym, 252 00:08:56,536 --> 00:08:57,976 and I was thinking 253 00:08:57,977 --> 00:08:59,415 Miss Joyful, maybe? 254 00:08:59,457 --> 00:09:01,188 You've already 255 00:09:01,189 --> 00:09:02,918 been assigned a name. 256 00:08:59,457 --> 00:09:02,918 Oh, yes. 257 00:09:02,960 --> 00:09:04,669 Miss Erstwhile. 258 00:09:04,711 --> 00:09:05,963 Miss Erstwhile? 259 00:09:06,004 --> 00:09:07,172 Martin. 260 00:09:07,173 --> 00:09:08,340 Take their luggage in. 261 00:09:08,382 --> 00:09:09,592 And get the carriage ready 262 00:09:09,593 --> 00:09:10,801 to take us up to the manor. 263 00:09:14,096 --> 00:09:15,119 Ma'am. 264 00:09:15,120 --> 00:09:16,140 Martin. 265 00:09:17,516 --> 00:09:19,351 - Thanks. - Good luck. 266 00:09:19,393 --> 00:09:20,999 Complete immersion 267 00:09:21,000 --> 00:09:22,604 in the Regency era 268 00:09:22,646 --> 00:09:24,294 is the only way 269 00:09:24,295 --> 00:09:25,941 to truly appreciate 270 00:09:22,646 --> 00:09:25,941 Austen's England. 271 00:09:25,983 --> 00:09:27,692 - Wouldn't you say so, - Miss Charming? 272 00:09:27,734 --> 00:09:28,819 (IN BRITISH ACCENT) 273 00:09:28,820 --> 00:09:29,903 Righto! 274 00:09:29,945 --> 00:09:31,863 Just to avoid any confusion, 275 00:09:31,905 --> 00:09:34,220 I'd like you to know 276 00:09:34,221 --> 00:09:36,535 that we do offer several 277 00:09:31,905 --> 00:09:36,535 distinct experiences. 278 00:09:36,576 --> 00:09:38,350 You have paid for 279 00:09:38,351 --> 00:09:40,122 the Basic Copper package, 280 00:09:40,164 --> 00:09:41,436 while the other 281 00:09:41,437 --> 00:09:42,707 ladies in the party 282 00:09:42,749 --> 00:09:44,106 are part of 283 00:09:44,107 --> 00:09:45,461 the Platinum Elite package. 284 00:09:45,503 --> 00:09:47,254 Oh. Okay. 285 00:09:47,296 --> 00:09:48,381 I'm sure you'll understand 286 00:09:48,382 --> 00:09:49,465 there will be some 287 00:09:47,296 --> 00:09:49,465 exclusions to your trip. 288 00:09:49,507 --> 00:09:51,238 I mean, I'm just so 289 00:09:51,239 --> 00:09:52,968 excited to be here, 290 00:09:53,010 --> 00:09:54,115 and I've dreamed 291 00:09:54,116 --> 00:09:55,220 about this for so long. 292 00:09:55,262 --> 00:09:56,263 All of my guests 293 00:09:56,264 --> 00:09:57,264 will experience 294 00:09:57,306 --> 00:09:58,391 romance with 295 00:09:58,392 --> 00:09:59,475 one of our actors. 296 00:09:59,517 --> 00:10:01,331 But I must emphasize 297 00:10:01,332 --> 00:10:03,145 there is to be no touching 298 00:10:03,187 --> 00:10:05,064 other than 299 00:10:05,065 --> 00:10:06,940 the necessary social graces. 300 00:10:03,187 --> 00:10:06,940 Not a chance. 301 00:10:06,982 --> 00:10:08,942 - I also expect - all my guests to maintain 302 00:10:08,984 --> 00:10:09,985 Appropriate manners 303 00:10:09,986 --> 00:10:10,986 and conversation 304 00:10:11,028 --> 00:10:12,259 and to eschew 305 00:10:12,260 --> 00:10:13,489 all things modern. 306 00:10:13,531 --> 00:10:15,199 - Any flagrant - disobedience will result 307 00:10:15,240 --> 00:10:16,325 In the early 308 00:10:16,326 --> 00:10:17,409 termination of your stay. 309 00:10:17,451 --> 00:10:18,743 - You don't have - to worry about me. 310 00:10:18,785 --> 00:10:19,932 I know Austen's 311 00:10:19,933 --> 00:10:21,079 books intimately. 312 00:10:26,210 --> 00:10:28,129 A big fire for 313 00:10:28,130 --> 00:10:30,047 a hot summer's day. 314 00:10:34,051 --> 00:10:35,219 (LAUGHING) 315 00:10:36,678 --> 00:10:38,159 We need to push up 316 00:10:38,160 --> 00:10:39,639 the sisters. There we go. 317 00:10:41,141 --> 00:10:42,934 That's as far as I can go. 318 00:10:43,602 --> 00:10:45,312 It's looking good. 319 00:10:49,567 --> 00:10:50,964 ♪ Has it been 320 00:10:50,965 --> 00:10:52,361 a day or a week 321 00:10:52,403 --> 00:10:55,030 ♪ As my eyes begin to close 322 00:10:55,072 --> 00:10:56,678 So we have this 323 00:10:56,679 --> 00:10:58,283 absolutely delightful 324 00:10:55,072 --> 00:10:58,283 chiffon piece. 325 00:10:58,325 --> 00:11:00,369 - And I don't know - how you feel about lavender. 326 00:11:00,411 --> 00:11:01,745 I call it lilac. 327 00:11:01,786 --> 00:11:03,080 "Lilac." 328 00:11:03,121 --> 00:11:04,519 This I do think 329 00:11:04,520 --> 00:11:05,916 is very magnificent 330 00:11:03,121 --> 00:11:05,916 and elegant. 331 00:11:05,957 --> 00:11:07,459 Salmon! 332 00:11:07,501 --> 00:11:09,836 Salmon. Absolutely. 333 00:11:09,878 --> 00:11:11,985 ♪ These dreams 334 00:11:11,986 --> 00:11:14,091 under my pillow 335 00:11:14,132 --> 00:11:15,926 Kinda washes you out. 336 00:11:16,927 --> 00:11:19,388 ♪ Of these white nights ♪ 337 00:11:19,430 --> 00:11:21,099 Look how skinny I look 338 00:11:21,100 --> 00:11:22,766 with my hand behind my back. 339 00:11:25,644 --> 00:11:27,020 Let's go meet the men. 340 00:11:27,062 --> 00:11:28,313 Okay. 341 00:11:30,899 --> 00:11:32,276 (SIGHS) 342 00:11:40,700 --> 00:11:41,890 I'm so sorry, 343 00:11:41,891 --> 00:11:43,078 my dear, but I'm afraid 344 00:11:43,120 --> 00:11:44,288 this carriage only 345 00:11:44,289 --> 00:11:45,456 takes two passengers. 346 00:11:46,873 --> 00:11:48,041 Okay. 347 00:11:48,083 --> 00:11:49,501 Sorry. 348 00:11:49,543 --> 00:11:51,254 Hey, 349 00:11:51,255 --> 00:11:52,963 do you think we'll be robbed 350 00:11:49,543 --> 00:11:52,963 by some highwaymen? 351 00:13:03,534 --> 00:13:04,598 MRS. WATTLESBROOK: Martin, 352 00:13:04,599 --> 00:13:05,661 hurry up with those bags. 353 00:13:05,703 --> 00:13:07,871 My God, look at those. 354 00:13:08,997 --> 00:13:12,501 Hallelujah. Oh! 355 00:13:12,543 --> 00:13:13,669 (CLEARS THROAT) 356 00:13:16,046 --> 00:13:18,528 Do you think those 357 00:13:18,529 --> 00:13:21,009 are their real faces? 358 00:13:21,051 --> 00:13:23,137 And for you, Miss Charming, 359 00:13:23,138 --> 00:13:25,222 we have our finest 360 00:13:21,051 --> 00:13:25,222 Platinum level room. 361 00:13:29,267 --> 00:13:30,477 Oh! 362 00:13:34,064 --> 00:13:37,150 How old-fashioned. 363 00:13:37,192 --> 00:13:38,402 Miss Erstwhile. 364 00:13:38,403 --> 00:13:39,611 If you follow me. 365 00:13:43,490 --> 00:13:46,744 Hey! It's bloody brilliant! 366 00:13:46,785 --> 00:13:47,891 MRS. WATTLESBROOK: 367 00:13:47,892 --> 00:13:48,995 Where are you? 368 00:13:46,785 --> 00:13:48,995 We can't dilly-dally. 369 00:13:51,915 --> 00:13:53,667 And you, of course, 370 00:13:53,668 --> 00:13:55,419 have one of our loveliest 371 00:13:51,915 --> 00:13:55,419 Copper level rooms. 372 00:14:00,215 --> 00:14:01,841 We meet for dinner at 8:00. 373 00:14:01,883 --> 00:14:03,093 I expect you can 374 00:14:03,094 --> 00:14:04,302 find your own way 375 00:14:01,883 --> 00:14:04,302 to the drawing room. 376 00:14:04,344 --> 00:14:05,555 I wouldn't miss 377 00:14:05,556 --> 00:14:06,764 it for the world. 378 00:14:34,999 --> 00:14:37,628 With me? Yes. 379 00:14:43,925 --> 00:14:45,636 MISS CHARMING: Jane! 380 00:14:45,677 --> 00:14:48,160 Jane? Come here. 381 00:14:48,161 --> 00:14:50,641 All the statues look at you! 382 00:14:50,682 --> 00:14:52,225 (DOOR OPENING) 383 00:14:58,857 --> 00:15:01,110 Look. It's one of 384 00:15:01,111 --> 00:15:03,361 those Mr. Darcy guys. 385 00:15:03,403 --> 00:15:05,197 May I present Miss 386 00:15:05,198 --> 00:15:06,990 Elizabeth Charming. 387 00:15:07,031 --> 00:15:08,263 Heiress to 388 00:15:08,264 --> 00:15:09,493 the vast Charming fortune. 389 00:15:09,534 --> 00:15:11,203 (IN BRITISH ACCENT) 390 00:15:11,204 --> 00:15:12,871 Top of the evening to you. 391 00:15:13,997 --> 00:15:16,082 And Miss Jane Erstwhile. 392 00:15:16,124 --> 00:15:17,584 An orphan of no fortune, 393 00:15:17,585 --> 00:15:19,043 who we've taken in 394 00:15:19,085 --> 00:15:20,463 out of the goodness 395 00:15:20,464 --> 00:15:21,839 of our hearts. 396 00:15:21,880 --> 00:15:24,321 Colonel Andrews, 397 00:15:24,322 --> 00:15:26,760 the second son 398 00:15:21,880 --> 00:15:26,760 of the Earl of Denton. 399 00:15:26,802 --> 00:15:28,304 I have never before 400 00:15:28,305 --> 00:15:29,805 beheld such beauty... 401 00:15:32,098 --> 00:15:34,685 And class. 402 00:15:34,726 --> 00:15:36,187 What a very pleasant 403 00:15:36,188 --> 00:15:37,646 pleasure it is indeed. 404 00:15:38,730 --> 00:15:40,212 And my dear nephew, 405 00:15:40,213 --> 00:15:41,692 Henry Nobley. 406 00:15:41,733 --> 00:15:43,318 (CLEARS THROAT) 407 00:15:43,360 --> 00:15:44,695 Goody. 408 00:15:44,696 --> 00:15:46,029 There's one for each of us. 409 00:15:47,823 --> 00:15:50,347 And, of course, 410 00:15:50,348 --> 00:15:52,870 our honored guest, 411 00:15:47,823 --> 00:15:52,870 Lady Amelia Heartwright. 412 00:15:54,746 --> 00:15:58,667 MISS CHARMING: What the H? 413 00:15:58,709 --> 00:16:01,357 I've been so lonely here 414 00:16:01,358 --> 00:16:04,005 without other young 415 00:15:58,709 --> 00:16:04,005 women to entertain me. 416 00:16:04,047 --> 00:16:05,507 All day, 417 00:16:05,508 --> 00:16:06,966 stuck with these men. 418 00:16:08,259 --> 00:16:10,637 And that is my husband. 419 00:16:10,679 --> 00:16:11,722 (BURPS) 420 00:16:11,763 --> 00:16:13,891 Do sit down. 421 00:16:17,394 --> 00:16:18,729 I do hope it will not 422 00:16:18,730 --> 00:16:20,063 rain on us tomorrow. 423 00:16:20,104 --> 00:16:22,273 It would be so lovely 424 00:16:22,274 --> 00:16:24,442 to take a turn 425 00:16:20,104 --> 00:16:24,442 around the gardens. 426 00:16:26,737 --> 00:16:29,865 I sure would like you 427 00:16:29,907 --> 00:16:32,201 to turn me upside 428 00:16:32,202 --> 00:16:34,494 down in the garden. 429 00:16:34,536 --> 00:16:36,037 Pardon me? 430 00:16:36,079 --> 00:16:37,664 I think 431 00:16:37,665 --> 00:16:39,249 Miss Charming just means 432 00:16:36,079 --> 00:16:39,249 she loves the outdoors. 433 00:16:39,290 --> 00:16:40,333 Right. 434 00:16:40,375 --> 00:16:41,418 Bless. 435 00:16:42,627 --> 00:16:43,962 Do you see 436 00:16:43,963 --> 00:16:45,296 something in my eye? 437 00:16:45,338 --> 00:16:47,340 I'm afraid I can't 438 00:16:47,341 --> 00:16:49,342 see in this low light. 439 00:16:49,384 --> 00:16:50,761 (MISS CHARMING LAUGHING) 440 00:16:50,802 --> 00:16:54,556 Oh, Mr. Nobley. 441 00:16:54,598 --> 00:16:55,933 You really 442 00:16:55,934 --> 00:16:57,267 are quite a bloke. 443 00:16:57,308 --> 00:16:59,436 It would appear 444 00:16:59,437 --> 00:17:01,563 to be my duty to 445 00:16:57,308 --> 00:17:01,563 gaze into your eyes. 446 00:17:01,605 --> 00:17:02,752 I'm a military man, 447 00:17:02,753 --> 00:17:03,899 I'd never shirk my duty. 448 00:17:03,941 --> 00:17:06,109 Allow me, Miss Charming. 449 00:17:08,403 --> 00:17:10,363 Yes. Yes, there is 450 00:17:10,364 --> 00:17:12,323 something there. Fire. 451 00:17:12,365 --> 00:17:14,472 I say, Miss Charming, 452 00:17:14,473 --> 00:17:16,578 you certainly do 453 00:17:12,365 --> 00:17:16,578 live up to your name. 454 00:17:16,620 --> 00:17:17,996 (BELL TINKLING) 455 00:17:18,037 --> 00:17:20,832 Tally-ho! 456 00:17:20,874 --> 00:17:22,168 MRS. WATTLESBROOK: I do hope 457 00:17:22,169 --> 00:17:23,460 you all enjoy the food. 458 00:17:30,467 --> 00:17:32,093 - AMELIA: Have you lost - your appetite, Mr. Nobley? 459 00:17:32,135 --> 00:17:34,095 Somewhat. 460 00:17:34,137 --> 00:17:36,097 Something on your mind? 461 00:17:36,139 --> 00:17:37,370 Absolutely nothing's 462 00:17:37,371 --> 00:17:38,600 on my mind, thank you. 463 00:17:38,642 --> 00:17:40,123 Prudence, a little bit more 464 00:17:40,124 --> 00:17:41,603 of the peacock pate, 465 00:17:38,642 --> 00:17:41,603 when you're ready. 466 00:17:46,483 --> 00:17:47,734 (BELL TINKLING) 467 00:17:47,776 --> 00:17:49,193 - I can't believe - I'm really here. 468 00:17:51,321 --> 00:17:52,739 - Jane. - Yeah? 469 00:17:52,781 --> 00:17:54,971 Why don't you try out 470 00:17:54,972 --> 00:17:57,160 some of that fancy talk? 471 00:17:57,201 --> 00:17:58,953 Mr. Nobley, 472 00:17:58,954 --> 00:18:00,705 I hear there is a ball 473 00:17:57,201 --> 00:18:00,705 on our last night. 474 00:18:00,747 --> 00:18:01,957 Do you enjoy dancing? 475 00:18:01,999 --> 00:18:03,416 Not particularly. 476 00:18:03,458 --> 00:18:04,668 AMELIA: (CHUCKLES) 477 00:18:04,669 --> 00:18:05,877 Scandalous. 478 00:18:05,919 --> 00:18:08,234 I am sure you have escorted 479 00:18:08,235 --> 00:18:10,548 many a fine lady on 480 00:18:05,919 --> 00:18:10,548 to the dance floor. 481 00:18:10,590 --> 00:18:11,842 ANDREWS: I would say 482 00:18:11,843 --> 00:18:13,092 that manners maketh man. 483 00:18:13,134 --> 00:18:14,553 I look forward to 484 00:18:14,554 --> 00:18:15,971 having the pleasure 485 00:18:13,134 --> 00:18:15,971 of standing opposite you. 486 00:18:16,013 --> 00:18:17,806 But dancing is 487 00:18:17,807 --> 00:18:19,599 the true hallmark... 488 00:18:16,013 --> 00:18:19,599 You do? 489 00:18:19,641 --> 00:18:20,726 Gentilhomme d'honneur. 490 00:18:20,727 --> 00:18:21,810 of a 491 00:18:21,852 --> 00:18:22,957 MR. WATTLESBROOK: Pass the 492 00:18:22,958 --> 00:18:24,062 sheep's eyeballs, will you? 493 00:18:24,103 --> 00:18:25,834 Traditionally, dancing 494 00:18:25,835 --> 00:18:27,565 is a match-making custom. 495 00:18:27,607 --> 00:18:28,650 Oh, yes. 496 00:18:28,692 --> 00:18:29,922 However, it fails 497 00:18:29,923 --> 00:18:31,152 unless both partners 498 00:18:31,194 --> 00:18:32,425 are equally 499 00:18:32,426 --> 00:18:33,655 fond of each other. 500 00:18:33,697 --> 00:18:35,032 You could say the same 501 00:18:35,033 --> 00:18:36,366 about any 502 00:18:33,697 --> 00:18:36,366 social intercourse. 503 00:18:36,407 --> 00:18:38,409 Intercourse? 504 00:18:38,451 --> 00:18:39,974 Such as talking to someone 505 00:18:39,975 --> 00:18:41,496 or having dinner with them. 506 00:18:41,538 --> 00:18:42,893 Society demands 507 00:18:42,894 --> 00:18:44,248 that we engage in 508 00:18:41,538 --> 00:18:44,248 a social intercourse 509 00:18:44,290 --> 00:18:46,043 in order to seem courteous. 510 00:18:46,084 --> 00:18:48,858 Yet, in most cases, 511 00:18:48,859 --> 00:18:51,631 such actions are 512 00:18:46,084 --> 00:18:51,631 ultimately vulgar. 513 00:18:51,673 --> 00:18:53,717 I really adore conversating. 514 00:18:53,758 --> 00:18:55,677 (ALL CHUCKLING) 515 00:18:55,719 --> 00:18:57,428 - Do you really believe, - Mr. Nobley, 516 00:18:57,470 --> 00:18:59,055 That you can know 517 00:18:59,056 --> 00:19:00,640 the worth of a person 518 00:18:57,470 --> 00:19:00,640 at a glance? 519 00:19:00,682 --> 00:19:02,559 - Can you tell me that - within the first few moments 520 00:19:02,600 --> 00:19:03,915 Of meeting each 521 00:19:03,916 --> 00:19:05,228 person in this room, 522 00:19:05,269 --> 00:19:07,898 you didn't form firm 523 00:19:07,899 --> 00:19:10,525 opinions of their character? 524 00:19:10,567 --> 00:19:12,715 Well, it would be a shame 525 00:19:12,716 --> 00:19:14,863 if my first impression of 526 00:19:10,567 --> 00:19:14,863 you proved correct. 527 00:19:14,905 --> 00:19:16,949 Well, Miss Erstwhile, 528 00:19:16,950 --> 00:19:18,992 I for one am so 529 00:19:14,905 --> 00:19:18,992 pleased you are here. 530 00:19:19,034 --> 00:19:21,704 Another woman 531 00:19:21,705 --> 00:19:24,372 who understands, as I do, 532 00:19:19,034 --> 00:19:24,372 the rocky road of love. 533 00:19:24,414 --> 00:19:26,500 Mrs. Wattlesbrook told me 534 00:19:26,501 --> 00:19:28,585 of your tragic story. 535 00:19:29,711 --> 00:19:30,879 What? 536 00:19:30,921 --> 00:19:32,151 I try to learn a great 537 00:19:32,152 --> 00:19:33,381 deal about my clients 538 00:19:33,423 --> 00:19:34,925 so that I can better 539 00:19:34,926 --> 00:19:36,426 prepare for their stay. 540 00:19:36,467 --> 00:19:39,450 You have been unlucky 541 00:19:39,451 --> 00:19:42,432 in love, shall we say? 542 00:19:42,473 --> 00:19:43,684 AMELIA: We most definitely 543 00:19:43,685 --> 00:19:44,893 should say. 544 00:19:44,935 --> 00:19:47,188 At your age, 545 00:19:47,189 --> 00:19:49,439 with no husband, 546 00:19:44,935 --> 00:19:49,439 no kinder... 547 00:19:51,441 --> 00:19:52,943 I'm sorry. 548 00:19:52,984 --> 00:19:54,632 The clock is ticking. 549 00:19:54,633 --> 00:19:56,279 Tick-tock, tick-tock. 550 00:19:52,984 --> 00:19:56,279 Oh, bugger. 551 00:19:56,320 --> 00:19:57,781 ANDREWS: How unfortunate. 552 00:20:00,075 --> 00:20:01,701 Excuse me. 553 00:20:01,743 --> 00:20:03,244 Good duck. 554 00:20:05,705 --> 00:20:08,041 Jane. Jane! Jane. 555 00:20:08,042 --> 00:20:10,376 Oh, I'm so sorry. 556 00:20:10,418 --> 00:20:12,254 You know, I know 557 00:20:12,255 --> 00:20:14,089 how it feels to be treated 558 00:20:10,418 --> 00:20:14,089 badly by stupid men. 559 00:20:14,131 --> 00:20:15,548 I really do. 560 00:20:15,590 --> 00:20:17,467 - Jane, come on. - Give me a hug. 561 00:20:18,969 --> 00:20:20,450 Come on. At least it's not 562 00:20:20,451 --> 00:20:21,930 gonna happen at this place. 563 00:20:21,972 --> 00:20:23,453 Besides, you'll feel 564 00:20:23,454 --> 00:20:24,933 totally different tomorrow. 565 00:20:24,975 --> 00:20:26,935 Think about all 566 00:20:26,936 --> 00:20:28,895 the people in the world 567 00:20:24,975 --> 00:20:28,895 that hang themselves. 568 00:20:28,937 --> 00:20:30,251 And then the next day, 569 00:20:30,252 --> 00:20:31,564 they feel different, 570 00:20:31,606 --> 00:20:33,003 but there's nothing 571 00:20:33,004 --> 00:20:34,400 they can do about it. 572 00:20:34,442 --> 00:20:35,756 Don't hang yourself, Jane. 573 00:20:35,757 --> 00:20:37,070 Mmm-hmm. 574 00:20:37,112 --> 00:20:39,198 Anyway, if you need 575 00:20:39,199 --> 00:20:41,282 anything, just call me. 576 00:20:37,112 --> 00:20:41,282 I'm right down the hall. 577 00:20:41,324 --> 00:20:43,347 Well, actually, 578 00:20:43,348 --> 00:20:45,369 I'm not right down the hall 579 00:20:45,411 --> 00:20:47,873 because you're in 580 00:20:47,874 --> 00:20:50,333 the servants' wing. 581 00:20:45,411 --> 00:20:50,333 You're in the creepy tower. 582 00:20:50,374 --> 00:20:52,106 God, sometimes I think 583 00:20:52,107 --> 00:20:53,837 about you here at night. 584 00:20:55,046 --> 00:20:56,840 Must be really scary. 585 00:20:57,674 --> 00:20:59,029 It's okay. 586 00:20:59,030 --> 00:21:00,384 Anyway. 587 00:21:00,426 --> 00:21:01,699 And, Jane, 588 00:21:01,700 --> 00:21:02,971 the maid told me that... 589 00:21:03,013 --> 00:21:05,078 FYI, she said don't 590 00:21:05,079 --> 00:21:07,142 use the chamber pots. 591 00:21:07,184 --> 00:21:09,165 Apparently the toilets 592 00:21:09,166 --> 00:21:11,146 really do flush here, 593 00:21:11,188 --> 00:21:13,107 and they don't know 594 00:21:13,108 --> 00:21:15,025 what to do 595 00:21:11,188 --> 00:21:15,025 if it's just piled high. 596 00:21:16,818 --> 00:21:17,944 Right. 597 00:21:23,825 --> 00:21:24,868 Of course, 598 00:21:24,869 --> 00:21:25,910 he made all his money 599 00:21:25,952 --> 00:21:26,975 selling quicklime 600 00:21:26,976 --> 00:21:27,996 on the continent. 601 00:21:28,038 --> 00:21:29,914 - You can never have - enough whitewash, 602 00:21:29,956 --> 00:21:31,312 As my grandfather 603 00:21:31,313 --> 00:21:32,667 used to say. 604 00:21:32,709 --> 00:21:34,190 Then he contracted 605 00:21:34,191 --> 00:21:35,670 dysentery and died. 606 00:21:35,712 --> 00:21:37,255 Tap-tap. 607 00:21:38,464 --> 00:21:42,052 Good morrow, sir. 'Tis I. 608 00:21:42,093 --> 00:21:43,887 - Shall we promenade? - (SIGHS) 609 00:21:47,390 --> 00:21:49,371 Oh. Oh, I say. 610 00:21:49,372 --> 00:21:51,352 Miss Erstwhile, do join us. 611 00:21:51,394 --> 00:21:53,813 Yes, make haste. 612 00:21:53,855 --> 00:21:55,545 I think I'll go 613 00:21:55,546 --> 00:21:57,234 find some shade. 614 00:21:57,275 --> 00:22:00,695 Really? How peculiar. 615 00:22:00,737 --> 00:22:02,030 - She's been too - much in the sun. 616 00:22:00,737 --> 00:22:02,030 Come, sir. 617 00:22:06,201 --> 00:22:08,119 - MRS. WATTLESBROOK: - (ON PA) Your hunting 618 00:22:06,201 --> 00:22:08,119 Excursion is commencing 619 00:22:08,161 --> 00:22:10,038 - on the upper - paddock at the stable 620 00:22:10,080 --> 00:22:11,852 Where you will be assigned 621 00:22:11,853 --> 00:22:13,624 an appropriate mount. 622 00:22:10,080 --> 00:22:13,624 (GASPS) 623 00:22:13,666 --> 00:22:14,834 (CHICKENS CLUCKING) 624 00:22:14,876 --> 00:22:16,086 MARTIN: Sorry. 625 00:22:16,586 --> 00:22:17,587 Sorry. 626 00:22:18,421 --> 00:22:19,672 I'm not spying on you. 627 00:22:19,714 --> 00:22:21,216 I'm afraid you caught me 628 00:22:21,217 --> 00:22:22,717 at an unladylike moment. 629 00:22:22,759 --> 00:22:24,407 Mrs. Wattlesbrook will 630 00:22:24,408 --> 00:22:26,054 probably rap my knuckles 631 00:22:22,759 --> 00:22:26,054 or something. 632 00:22:26,096 --> 00:22:27,931 Tell me about it. 633 00:22:27,972 --> 00:22:30,058 So you hail from 634 00:22:30,059 --> 00:22:32,143 the former colonies? 635 00:22:32,185 --> 00:22:33,978 (LAUGHS) 636 00:22:34,020 --> 00:22:35,772 - I'm sorry, - that's pretty bad. 637 00:22:35,813 --> 00:22:37,045 I'm not really here to 638 00:22:37,046 --> 00:22:38,275 do the "ye olde" stuff. 639 00:22:40,110 --> 00:22:42,133 I'm probably not supposed 640 00:22:42,134 --> 00:22:44,155 to be talking to 641 00:22:40,110 --> 00:22:44,155 the servants anyway. 642 00:22:44,197 --> 00:22:46,595 I thought I'd come here 643 00:22:46,596 --> 00:22:48,993 and be a total pro at this, 644 00:22:44,197 --> 00:22:48,993 but I don't know... 645 00:22:49,035 --> 00:22:50,599 Yeah. Maybe you need 646 00:22:50,600 --> 00:22:52,163 a coach or something. 647 00:22:52,205 --> 00:22:53,790 Yeah. I'm definitely not 648 00:22:53,791 --> 00:22:55,374 supposed to talk to you. 649 00:22:56,626 --> 00:22:58,128 And yet, 650 00:22:59,712 --> 00:23:01,339 here you are. 651 00:23:01,380 --> 00:23:02,381 (ANDREWS SPEAKING 652 00:23:02,382 --> 00:23:03,382 (INDISTINCTLY) 653 00:23:03,424 --> 00:23:05,093 That's... I have to... 654 00:23:05,135 --> 00:23:06,761 ANDREWS: Where are you? 655 00:23:06,803 --> 00:23:07,908 Miss Erstwhile, 656 00:23:07,909 --> 00:23:09,013 there you are. 657 00:23:09,055 --> 00:23:10,078 I was just 658 00:23:10,079 --> 00:23:11,099 saying to Nobley here 659 00:23:09,055 --> 00:23:11,099 Yes, hello. I... 660 00:23:11,141 --> 00:23:12,226 our divine Miss Erstwhile 661 00:23:12,227 --> 00:23:13,310 seems to have escaped us. 662 00:23:13,351 --> 00:23:14,894 - And let us not see if - we cannot find her out... 663 00:23:14,936 --> 00:23:16,876 I was hot so I 664 00:23:16,877 --> 00:23:18,815 stopped in here, you know, 665 00:23:14,936 --> 00:23:18,815 and then I sat... 666 00:23:18,856 --> 00:23:20,734 I say, Miss Erstwhile, 667 00:23:20,735 --> 00:23:22,610 you are tongue-tied today. 668 00:23:22,652 --> 00:23:24,049 What sordid secrets 669 00:23:24,050 --> 00:23:25,446 is your mouth trying 670 00:23:22,652 --> 00:23:25,446 to hide from us? 671 00:23:25,488 --> 00:23:27,240 - No, no secrets. No. - Do tell me at once. 672 00:23:27,282 --> 00:23:28,325 - Andrews! - I simply must know. 673 00:23:30,994 --> 00:23:32,329 - Can't you see - that she's unwell? 674 00:23:32,370 --> 00:23:33,871 No, I'm fine. Thank you... 675 00:23:33,913 --> 00:23:34,936 Unwell? Perhaps you have 676 00:23:34,937 --> 00:23:35,957 a touch of the vapors? 677 00:23:33,913 --> 00:23:35,957 Or mange? 678 00:23:35,999 --> 00:23:37,750 - Either way, - bell jar on the tummy. 679 00:23:37,792 --> 00:23:39,460 - Sucks out all - the vicious vapors. 680 00:23:39,502 --> 00:23:40,649 And leeches on the ankles... 681 00:23:40,650 --> 00:23:41,796 Andrews, shut up. 682 00:23:41,838 --> 00:23:43,464 What? 683 00:23:43,506 --> 00:23:44,966 (MISS CHARMING HOOTING) 684 00:23:45,008 --> 00:23:47,031 Hi. Ladies and gents, 685 00:23:47,032 --> 00:23:49,053 please take notice! 686 00:23:49,095 --> 00:23:50,972 I've just got the schedule, 687 00:23:51,014 --> 00:23:52,578 and look, it says we get 688 00:23:52,579 --> 00:23:54,142 to go hunting on horseback. 689 00:23:54,184 --> 00:23:56,311 Can you believe it? 690 00:23:56,312 --> 00:23:58,437 Real horses and real guns! 691 00:23:59,189 --> 00:24:00,690 Release the hounds! 692 00:24:00,731 --> 00:24:02,233 Tally-ho. 693 00:24:02,234 --> 00:24:03,734 A-hunting we will go. 694 00:24:03,776 --> 00:24:05,216 The British are coming. 695 00:24:05,217 --> 00:24:06,654 The British are coming! 696 00:24:06,696 --> 00:24:08,614 - Shall we go? - Shall we? 697 00:24:08,656 --> 00:24:10,680 Hey, stable boy. 698 00:24:10,681 --> 00:24:12,702 You're way too slow! 699 00:24:08,656 --> 00:24:12,702 Come on! 700 00:24:18,541 --> 00:24:19,939 I've never shot 701 00:24:19,940 --> 00:24:21,336 a hunting rifle before. 702 00:24:21,378 --> 00:24:23,087 - ANDREWS: - Now, the whole thing 703 00:24:21,378 --> 00:24:23,087 With the gun, darling, 704 00:24:23,129 --> 00:24:24,339 is that you have to cock it. 705 00:24:24,381 --> 00:24:26,841 Just hold the barrel. There. 706 00:24:26,883 --> 00:24:28,927 And then gently 707 00:24:28,928 --> 00:24:30,970 pull the trigger. 708 00:24:31,012 --> 00:24:32,638 - MR. NOBLEY: Have you - ever fired a loaded 709 00:24:31,012 --> 00:24:32,638 Weapon before? 710 00:24:32,680 --> 00:24:34,287 Actually, I think you might 711 00:24:34,288 --> 00:24:35,892 be quite impressed by my... 712 00:24:35,933 --> 00:24:37,101 - skills. - Big cock. 713 00:24:37,143 --> 00:24:38,249 I will be. 714 00:24:38,250 --> 00:24:39,354 (EXCLAIMS) Ow! 715 00:24:39,396 --> 00:24:41,022 Just a little closer there. 716 00:24:41,064 --> 00:24:42,565 - JANE: Yeah, - I think I get the basics. 717 00:24:45,443 --> 00:24:46,610 Ready, ladies? 718 00:24:47,904 --> 00:24:50,052 Face down range. 719 00:24:50,053 --> 00:24:52,200 Load. And make ready. 720 00:24:52,242 --> 00:24:53,326 And, pull! 721 00:24:57,414 --> 00:24:59,582 Fly in my eye. 722 00:25:09,259 --> 00:25:11,595 My... Miss Erstwhile. 723 00:25:11,596 --> 00:25:13,930 What a talented 724 00:25:09,259 --> 00:25:13,930 little nut you are. 725 00:25:13,971 --> 00:25:15,056 JANE: Yeah. 726 00:25:15,098 --> 00:25:16,350 I guess I get 727 00:25:16,351 --> 00:25:17,600 the basics of it. 728 00:25:17,641 --> 00:25:19,040 I didn't think we 729 00:25:19,041 --> 00:25:20,437 were really supposed 730 00:25:17,641 --> 00:25:20,437 to kill them. 731 00:25:20,478 --> 00:25:21,876 What are we supposed 732 00:25:21,877 --> 00:25:23,273 to eat for dinner? 733 00:25:23,314 --> 00:25:24,733 Anyone for pheasant? Me. 734 00:25:24,734 --> 00:25:26,150 (CHUCKLING) 735 00:25:30,280 --> 00:25:31,844 ANDREWS: Of course, 736 00:25:31,845 --> 00:25:33,408 all these horses 737 00:25:30,280 --> 00:25:33,408 are thoroughbreds. 738 00:25:33,450 --> 00:25:36,015 They come from 739 00:25:36,016 --> 00:25:38,579 the local stud. 740 00:25:33,450 --> 00:25:38,579 Well, I'm too busy, you see. 741 00:25:38,621 --> 00:25:39,935 There's something 742 00:25:39,936 --> 00:25:41,249 wrong with the horse. 743 00:25:41,291 --> 00:25:43,751 Crap Copper package. 744 00:25:46,045 --> 00:25:47,673 MARTIN: Little bit tight. 745 00:25:47,674 --> 00:25:49,299 Have to give you 746 00:25:46,045 --> 00:25:49,299 a rub down tonight. 747 00:25:50,007 --> 00:25:51,217 Excuse me? 748 00:25:51,259 --> 00:25:52,676 The horse. 749 00:25:52,718 --> 00:25:54,053 - (CHUCKLES) - Right, sorry. 750 00:25:57,348 --> 00:25:58,975 - There we go. - Oh! 751 00:26:00,143 --> 00:26:01,144 Thank you. 752 00:26:02,645 --> 00:26:04,272 - I'll be back in - a crack with a new horse. 753 00:26:04,314 --> 00:26:05,940 Okay. 754 00:26:12,280 --> 00:26:13,761 ♪ Somewhere there's a book 755 00:26:13,762 --> 00:26:15,241 of me 756 00:26:16,617 --> 00:26:17,952 ♪ Waiting for someone 757 00:26:17,953 --> 00:26:19,287 to read it 758 00:26:20,871 --> 00:26:22,790 ♪ And I really believe it 759 00:26:22,832 --> 00:26:24,292 (THUNDER RUMBLING) 760 00:26:24,334 --> 00:26:25,502 ♪ Just wish that 761 00:26:25,503 --> 00:26:26,669 I could see it 762 00:26:28,754 --> 00:26:30,402 ♪ And I keep losing track 763 00:26:30,403 --> 00:26:32,049 of where I'm meant to be 764 00:26:33,843 --> 00:26:35,720 ♪ If you know it 765 00:26:35,721 --> 00:26:37,596 you would be there 766 00:26:33,843 --> 00:26:37,596 (THUNDER RUMBLING) 767 00:26:37,638 --> 00:26:39,557 ♪ 'Cause I know 768 00:26:39,558 --> 00:26:41,476 that you're a good man 769 00:26:41,518 --> 00:26:42,790 ♪ But you like 770 00:26:42,791 --> 00:26:44,061 to keep that secret ♪ 771 00:26:44,103 --> 00:26:46,356 Oh. Hi. 772 00:26:48,441 --> 00:26:49,900 - Did that stable - boy abandon you? 773 00:26:49,942 --> 00:26:51,361 No, he's coming right back. 774 00:26:54,280 --> 00:26:56,032 Well, I wasn't raised 775 00:26:56,033 --> 00:26:57,783 to leave a woman 776 00:26:54,280 --> 00:26:57,783 alone in the woods. 777 00:26:57,825 --> 00:26:58,972 I'm really... I'm fine. 778 00:26:58,973 --> 00:27:00,119 (THUNDER CRASHING) 779 00:27:00,786 --> 00:27:02,663 Well, there's... 780 00:27:02,705 --> 00:27:03,956 All right, come on. Get up. 781 00:27:03,998 --> 00:27:05,291 Both of us on the one horse? 782 00:27:05,333 --> 00:27:06,647 I don't know if that's gonna 783 00:27:06,648 --> 00:27:07,960 really work for me... 784 00:27:08,002 --> 00:27:09,587 Right, are you ready? 785 00:27:09,588 --> 00:27:11,172 One, two, three. 786 00:27:08,002 --> 00:27:11,172 No, no. 787 00:27:11,214 --> 00:27:12,507 (EXCLAIMS) 788 00:27:12,965 --> 00:27:14,842 Okay. 789 00:27:14,884 --> 00:27:16,406 We're not gonna be able to 790 00:27:16,407 --> 00:27:17,928 outrun the storm unless 791 00:27:14,884 --> 00:27:17,928 you straddle the horse. 792 00:27:17,970 --> 00:27:19,451 Straddle... Not possible 793 00:27:19,452 --> 00:27:20,931 in this rig. Sorry. 794 00:27:23,059 --> 00:27:24,477 Whoa, whoa, whoa! 795 00:27:26,687 --> 00:27:28,606 Forward? Okay. Well... 796 00:27:28,607 --> 00:27:30,525 Get forward. 797 00:27:26,687 --> 00:27:30,525 Forward. That's it, more. 798 00:27:31,568 --> 00:27:32,735 Take the reins. 799 00:27:35,238 --> 00:27:38,387 Now, anyone who can 800 00:27:38,388 --> 00:27:41,536 shoot a gun like that 801 00:27:35,238 --> 00:27:41,536 can ride a horse. 802 00:27:41,578 --> 00:27:42,912 Come on. 803 00:27:42,953 --> 00:27:44,581 Do you have me? 804 00:27:44,622 --> 00:27:46,083 I've got you fine. 805 00:27:46,084 --> 00:27:47,542 Thank you. 806 00:27:59,554 --> 00:28:00,597 Jane. 807 00:28:05,726 --> 00:28:06,810 Come here. 808 00:28:06,852 --> 00:28:07,895 - I know, - but it's a little hard... 809 00:28:07,937 --> 00:28:09,209 No, your leg, your leg. No. 810 00:28:09,210 --> 00:28:10,481 Yeah, okay. 811 00:28:11,441 --> 00:28:12,691 JANE: Thank you. 812 00:28:12,733 --> 00:28:14,485 Jane. 813 00:28:14,527 --> 00:28:16,133 What the hell do you 814 00:28:16,134 --> 00:28:17,738 think you were doing 815 00:28:14,527 --> 00:28:17,738 leaving her alone like that? 816 00:28:17,780 --> 00:28:19,073 I'm sorry, I was coming. 817 00:28:19,115 --> 00:28:20,951 No, I was fine, 818 00:28:20,952 --> 00:28:22,785 actually, Mr. Nobley. 819 00:28:22,826 --> 00:28:25,350 There you are, Mr. Nobley. 820 00:28:25,351 --> 00:28:27,873 I was about to arouse 821 00:28:22,826 --> 00:28:27,873 a search party. (GASPS) 822 00:28:27,915 --> 00:28:30,147 Miss Erstwhile. 823 00:28:30,148 --> 00:28:32,378 What ghastly thing 824 00:28:27,915 --> 00:28:32,378 happened to you? 825 00:28:32,420 --> 00:28:34,589 I think I'm just 826 00:28:34,590 --> 00:28:36,757 gonna go powder my nose. 827 00:28:42,221 --> 00:28:43,327 MRS. WATTLESBROOK: 828 00:28:43,328 --> 00:28:44,432 Everyone, please assemble 829 00:28:42,221 --> 00:28:44,432 in the drawing room 830 00:28:44,474 --> 00:28:45,538 for this 831 00:28:45,539 --> 00:28:46,601 evening's whist drive. 832 00:28:46,643 --> 00:28:48,958 Partners will be 833 00:28:48,959 --> 00:28:51,272 assigned according to 834 00:28:46,643 --> 00:28:51,272 ability and package status. 835 00:28:53,357 --> 00:28:54,505 MRS. WATTLESBROOK: 836 00:28:54,506 --> 00:28:55,652 I do believe I start 837 00:28:53,357 --> 00:28:55,652 this one, do I not? 838 00:28:55,693 --> 00:28:56,902 - AMELIA: I'm just - so happy. I... 839 00:28:56,944 --> 00:28:59,071 See if you can beat that. 840 00:28:59,113 --> 00:29:01,073 - ANDREWS: Well, - there's a card. 841 00:29:03,493 --> 00:29:05,099 A proper lady does not 842 00:29:05,100 --> 00:29:06,704 doodle the evening away, 843 00:29:03,493 --> 00:29:06,704 Miss Erstwhile. 844 00:29:10,500 --> 00:29:11,605 You're looking well, 845 00:29:11,606 --> 00:29:12,710 Mr. Nobley. 846 00:29:12,751 --> 00:29:14,462 - The rain refreshed - your spirits, did it? 847 00:29:16,213 --> 00:29:17,507 Hardly. 848 00:29:18,882 --> 00:29:20,176 (CHUCKLES) 849 00:29:20,217 --> 00:29:21,428 I say, 850 00:29:21,429 --> 00:29:22,637 who needs the outdoors when 851 00:29:22,679 --> 00:29:24,264 you ladies are such 852 00:29:24,265 --> 00:29:25,848 a breath of fresh air? 853 00:29:25,889 --> 00:29:27,016 (ALL CHUCKLING) 854 00:29:27,057 --> 00:29:29,123 Colonel, you really 855 00:29:29,124 --> 00:29:31,187 are a saucy monkey. 856 00:29:31,228 --> 00:29:33,564 Miss Erstwhile, what's that 857 00:29:33,565 --> 00:29:35,899 earthy smell about you? 858 00:29:35,941 --> 00:29:37,485 Is it perfume? 859 00:29:37,527 --> 00:29:39,529 I'm not wearing any perfume. 860 00:29:40,363 --> 00:29:43,407 Must be your essence. 861 00:29:43,449 --> 00:29:45,139 AMELIA: Colonel. 862 00:29:45,140 --> 00:29:46,827 Tremendous play. 863 00:29:43,449 --> 00:29:46,827 I didn't see that one. 864 00:29:46,869 --> 00:29:48,162 No, no one ever does. 865 00:29:48,204 --> 00:29:50,164 - It's my sneaky maneuver - I picked up in the Punjab. 866 00:29:50,206 --> 00:29:54,001 Oh! Exotic! 867 00:29:54,043 --> 00:29:56,546 My, Miss Charming, 868 00:29:56,547 --> 00:29:59,048 what beauteous 869 00:29:54,043 --> 00:29:59,048 skin you possess. 870 00:30:00,508 --> 00:30:04,178 Reawy? 871 00:30:04,220 --> 00:30:06,034 Well, 872 00:30:06,035 --> 00:30:07,848 that's because late at night 873 00:30:04,220 --> 00:30:07,848 when I'm all alone, 874 00:30:07,890 --> 00:30:09,933 I put my face in the fire. 875 00:30:11,894 --> 00:30:12,958 (MR. WATTLESBROOK SNORING) 876 00:30:12,959 --> 00:30:14,021 AMELIA: Really? 877 00:30:14,063 --> 00:30:16,940 It's like a porcelain plate. 878 00:30:16,982 --> 00:30:18,380 ANDREWS: It's like 879 00:30:18,381 --> 00:30:19,777 being in a kiln. 880 00:30:24,073 --> 00:30:25,783 (MUSIC PLAYING IN DISTANCE) 881 00:30:30,496 --> 00:30:32,206 (ROMANTIC MUSIC PLAYING) 882 00:30:33,374 --> 00:30:35,209 (MARTIN SINGING) 883 00:30:40,047 --> 00:30:42,884 ♪ Wake up and 884 00:30:42,885 --> 00:30:45,720 suddenly you're in love ♪ 885 00:30:50,933 --> 00:30:52,226 (MUSIC STOPS) 886 00:30:55,854 --> 00:30:57,607 - Sorry. - I didn't mean to bother you 887 00:30:57,648 --> 00:30:59,567 - If you're in the middle - of something or... 888 00:30:59,609 --> 00:31:00,735 You are a little lost? 889 00:31:00,777 --> 00:31:02,194 No. 890 00:31:02,236 --> 00:31:03,592 I was just walking around, 891 00:31:03,593 --> 00:31:04,947 and then I heard 892 00:31:02,236 --> 00:31:04,947 music and so... 893 00:31:04,988 --> 00:31:06,637 Quick. Get in before 894 00:31:06,638 --> 00:31:08,284 Wattlesbrook 895 00:31:04,988 --> 00:31:08,284 confiscates this thing. 896 00:31:10,787 --> 00:31:12,580 - Let's hope - you're not her spy. 897 00:31:12,622 --> 00:31:13,727 Yeah. 898 00:31:13,728 --> 00:31:14,832 Mrs. Wattlesbrook? 899 00:31:14,873 --> 00:31:16,480 She made me sign 900 00:31:16,481 --> 00:31:18,085 half a dozen proper 901 00:31:14,873 --> 00:31:18,085 behavior agreements... 902 00:31:18,127 --> 00:31:19,796 Right. 903 00:31:19,837 --> 00:31:21,214 Swear to keep any 904 00:31:21,215 --> 00:31:22,590 modern contraption 905 00:31:19,837 --> 00:31:22,590 out of sight of the guests. 906 00:31:22,632 --> 00:31:24,007 Right. 907 00:31:25,092 --> 00:31:27,010 - Including you, - Miss Erstwhile. 908 00:31:27,052 --> 00:31:30,222 I'm not a spy. I swear. 909 00:31:30,264 --> 00:31:32,288 And you don't have to 910 00:31:32,289 --> 00:31:34,310 call me Miss Erstwhile. 911 00:31:30,264 --> 00:31:34,310 It's Jane. 912 00:31:35,436 --> 00:31:36,937 Martin. 913 00:31:39,565 --> 00:31:41,442 - I am so sorry - about this afternoon. 914 00:31:41,484 --> 00:31:43,027 No, no. Don't be. 915 00:31:43,028 --> 00:31:44,570 Don't even worry about it. 916 00:31:44,612 --> 00:31:46,489 - I would have - been absolutely fine 917 00:31:46,530 --> 00:31:48,491 - If it weren't for - Prince Valiant showing up. 918 00:31:48,532 --> 00:31:49,867 - The actors are - paid to be valiant. 919 00:31:49,908 --> 00:31:51,368 Right. 920 00:31:51,410 --> 00:31:53,851 They have some 921 00:31:53,852 --> 00:31:56,290 "Most Valiant Player 922 00:31:51,410 --> 00:31:56,290 of the Month" award. 923 00:31:56,332 --> 00:31:57,917 Still, it's nice to have 924 00:31:57,918 --> 00:31:59,502 a little break from them. 925 00:32:04,006 --> 00:32:05,278 Do you mind if I 926 00:32:05,279 --> 00:32:06,550 turn back on your music? 927 00:32:06,592 --> 00:32:08,260 No, of course not. 928 00:32:12,139 --> 00:32:13,516 (POP MUSIC STARTS) 929 00:32:15,142 --> 00:32:16,685 You're a real easy 930 00:32:16,686 --> 00:32:18,228 listening kinda guy, huh? 931 00:32:19,522 --> 00:32:22,566 Yeah. It relaxes me. 932 00:32:22,608 --> 00:32:24,048 Yeah. The easier... 933 00:32:24,049 --> 00:32:25,486 The easier, the better. 934 00:32:27,404 --> 00:32:28,989 Here it comes. 935 00:32:29,031 --> 00:32:31,534 ♪ I used to think that 936 00:32:31,535 --> 00:32:34,036 love was just a fairy tale ♪ 937 00:32:34,077 --> 00:32:35,204 You're a really 938 00:32:35,205 --> 00:32:36,330 great singer. 939 00:32:36,372 --> 00:32:37,957 You've got really 940 00:32:37,958 --> 00:32:39,542 great taste in gowns. 941 00:32:39,583 --> 00:32:41,251 - You make it - a little hard for me 942 00:32:41,293 --> 00:32:42,670 To take myself 943 00:32:42,671 --> 00:32:44,046 seriously in this getup. 944 00:32:44,087 --> 00:32:45,569 Where are you in there? 945 00:32:45,570 --> 00:32:47,049 There you are, yeah. 946 00:32:50,302 --> 00:32:51,929 Do you slow dance? 947 00:32:53,055 --> 00:32:54,181 Sure. 948 00:32:56,726 --> 00:32:59,896 ♪ Suddenly life has 949 00:32:59,897 --> 00:33:03,065 new meaning to me ♪ 950 00:33:06,736 --> 00:33:08,801 I don't remember 951 00:33:08,802 --> 00:33:10,865 Wattlesbrook teaching us 952 00:33:06,736 --> 00:33:10,865 that move. 953 00:33:10,907 --> 00:33:12,659 Yeah, neither will those 954 00:33:12,660 --> 00:33:14,410 posh boys up at the house. 955 00:33:18,247 --> 00:33:19,916 (THUMPING) 956 00:33:19,957 --> 00:33:21,292 Ah. I almost 957 00:33:21,293 --> 00:33:22,626 forgot about it. 958 00:33:22,668 --> 00:33:24,441 Do you have another 959 00:33:24,442 --> 00:33:26,213 girl hidden around here 960 00:33:22,668 --> 00:33:26,213 somewhere? 961 00:33:26,255 --> 00:33:27,381 Yeah. 962 00:33:28,465 --> 00:33:30,008 What was that? 963 00:33:30,050 --> 00:33:32,052 - Shh. - You don't wanna scare her. 964 00:33:35,556 --> 00:33:36,849 (WHINNYING) 965 00:33:36,891 --> 00:33:38,642 Hey, hey, hey. 966 00:33:38,684 --> 00:33:39,936 (SHUSHING) 967 00:33:41,395 --> 00:33:42,939 Hey, hey, hey. 968 00:33:44,273 --> 00:33:45,837 Wow. You put 969 00:33:45,838 --> 00:33:47,401 all the girls at ease? 970 00:33:47,443 --> 00:33:49,027 Only the wild ones. 971 00:33:53,449 --> 00:33:55,367 We almost missed it. 972 00:33:55,409 --> 00:33:56,911 Is this horse about to 973 00:33:56,912 --> 00:33:58,412 have a baby right here? 974 00:33:58,454 --> 00:33:59,997 - I've never seen - anything being born. 975 00:34:00,038 --> 00:34:01,832 - Go get me some straw. - Wait a second. 976 00:34:01,874 --> 00:34:02,897 Are you gonna have to 977 00:34:02,898 --> 00:34:03,918 stick your hands up in 978 00:34:01,874 --> 00:34:03,918 and flip it or something? 979 00:34:03,960 --> 00:34:05,586 - Jane, - just go get her some straw. 980 00:34:03,960 --> 00:34:05,586 Yeah, all right. 981 00:34:05,628 --> 00:34:07,129 (HORSE WHINNYING) 982 00:34:07,964 --> 00:34:10,215 Breathe, you can do this. 983 00:34:10,257 --> 00:34:11,717 Straw. Get it. Yeah. 984 00:34:12,551 --> 00:34:13,803 I found some! 985 00:34:13,844 --> 00:34:16,096 Okay. Thanks, Jane. 986 00:34:16,138 --> 00:34:17,514 My God, what's that? 987 00:34:18,432 --> 00:34:19,516 Jane. 988 00:34:19,558 --> 00:34:20,601 I'm coming right now. 989 00:34:20,643 --> 00:34:23,020 Get the straw, Jane! 990 00:34:23,061 --> 00:34:26,941 Push! Push! Push! 991 00:34:27,733 --> 00:34:29,192 That's it... 992 00:34:29,234 --> 00:34:31,028 Oh, my... Sparkle. 993 00:34:31,069 --> 00:34:32,154 I found it! 994 00:34:32,195 --> 00:34:33,948 Jane, it's beautiful. 995 00:34:33,990 --> 00:34:35,783 Got the straw. 996 00:34:35,825 --> 00:34:37,952 Oh, my gosh! 997 00:34:37,994 --> 00:34:39,996 It's the miracle of birth. 998 00:34:43,415 --> 00:34:44,583 There you go. 999 00:34:44,584 --> 00:34:45,751 Up you get, buddy. 1000 00:34:47,878 --> 00:34:50,047 Run free, little Sparkle. 1001 00:34:54,927 --> 00:34:55,950 Prince Valiant 1002 00:34:55,951 --> 00:34:56,971 couldn't do that. 1003 00:34:57,013 --> 00:34:59,431 No. 1004 00:34:59,473 --> 00:35:01,100 That was amazing, though. 1005 00:35:01,101 --> 00:35:02,726 That was really amazing. 1006 00:35:03,978 --> 00:35:06,563 I should probably get going. 1007 00:35:07,857 --> 00:35:09,399 You got... 1008 00:35:09,441 --> 00:35:11,193 - Might not want that. - (LAUGHS) 1009 00:35:14,196 --> 00:35:15,427 Can I give you 1010 00:35:15,428 --> 00:35:16,657 something first? 1011 00:35:17,741 --> 00:35:18,951 Just... 1012 00:35:31,005 --> 00:35:32,402 Wanted to do that 1013 00:35:32,403 --> 00:35:33,799 for a while. 1014 00:35:33,841 --> 00:35:36,010 Good night, Jane Erstwhile. 1015 00:35:36,052 --> 00:35:37,386 Good night. 1016 00:35:47,312 --> 00:35:49,836 "She had had many a hint 1017 00:35:49,837 --> 00:35:52,359 from Mr. Knightley, and 1018 00:35:47,312 --> 00:35:52,359 some from her own heart." 1019 00:35:52,401 --> 00:35:54,277 I have one, too. 1020 00:35:54,987 --> 00:35:56,864 Ooh. 1021 00:35:56,906 --> 00:36:00,450 Mr. Darcy said to Jane, 1022 00:36:00,492 --> 00:36:02,557 "Jane, listen. 1023 00:36:02,558 --> 00:36:04,621 Listen right now. 1024 00:36:04,663 --> 00:36:06,040 "If you were to 1025 00:36:06,041 --> 00:36:07,416 sleep with me tonight, 1026 00:36:07,457 --> 00:36:09,481 "I would actually 1027 00:36:09,482 --> 00:36:11,503 speak to you the next day, 1028 00:36:11,545 --> 00:36:14,153 "unlike any man 1029 00:36:14,154 --> 00:36:16,759 that you will meet 1030 00:36:11,545 --> 00:36:16,759 100 years from now." 1031 00:36:18,719 --> 00:36:20,637 (VOCALIZING) 1032 00:36:21,638 --> 00:36:22,828 Please. 1033 00:36:22,829 --> 00:36:24,016 Please shut your hole. 1034 00:36:26,184 --> 00:36:27,603 (CHUCKLES) 1035 00:36:27,644 --> 00:36:29,960 Men and women wouldn't even 1036 00:36:29,961 --> 00:36:32,274 touch before marriage, 1037 00:36:32,315 --> 00:36:34,131 let alone be alone in 1038 00:36:34,132 --> 00:36:35,945 the same room together. 1039 00:36:35,986 --> 00:36:37,404 - I don't think - he would ever say 1040 00:36:37,446 --> 00:36:39,010 Something like that, 1041 00:36:39,011 --> 00:36:40,574 and he was a gentleman. 1042 00:36:41,658 --> 00:36:43,201 (CLOCK CHIMING) 1043 00:36:45,245 --> 00:36:46,788 MISS CHARMING: 1044 00:36:46,789 --> 00:36:48,331 Why are we sewing again? 1045 00:36:48,373 --> 00:36:50,647 I guess this is how women 1046 00:36:50,648 --> 00:36:52,920 must have spent 1047 00:36:48,373 --> 00:36:52,920 a lot of their time. 1048 00:36:52,962 --> 00:36:55,339 Well, if the men don't 1049 00:36:55,340 --> 00:36:57,716 come back from hunting soon, 1050 00:36:57,758 --> 00:36:59,885 I'm gonna ask for a refund. 1051 00:37:02,138 --> 00:37:04,036 What about you, 1052 00:37:04,037 --> 00:37:05,933 Miss Erstwhile? 1053 00:37:02,138 --> 00:37:05,933 Are you enjoying yourself? 1054 00:37:05,975 --> 00:37:07,706 It is a shame we are 1055 00:37:07,707 --> 00:37:09,436 so awkwardly grouped. 1056 00:37:09,478 --> 00:37:10,917 Two gentlemen 1057 00:37:10,918 --> 00:37:12,355 and three ladies, 1058 00:37:12,397 --> 00:37:14,295 leaving you always to 1059 00:37:14,296 --> 00:37:16,193 bring up the rear alone. 1060 00:37:20,739 --> 00:37:22,658 - If you'll excuse me, - I think I'm gonna 1061 00:37:22,699 --> 00:37:24,534 - Go to the library - for a little while. 1062 00:37:38,882 --> 00:37:40,801 - (SHUSHES) - Jane. 1063 00:37:40,843 --> 00:37:42,219 I'm reading. 1064 00:37:47,683 --> 00:37:49,664 You're not really allowed 1065 00:37:49,665 --> 00:37:51,645 to read down on the 1066 00:37:47,683 --> 00:37:51,645 sluice gate. Okay? 1067 00:37:51,687 --> 00:37:52,897 You know, 1068 00:37:52,898 --> 00:37:54,106 this is off-limits, okay? 1069 00:37:51,687 --> 00:37:54,106 This is... 1070 00:37:54,148 --> 00:37:55,900 This is really very 1071 00:37:55,901 --> 00:37:57,651 dangerous down here. Okay? 1072 00:37:57,693 --> 00:37:59,569 Anything could happen. 1073 00:38:01,279 --> 00:38:02,531 I mean, 1074 00:38:02,532 --> 00:38:03,782 I don't have to be reading. 1075 00:38:05,659 --> 00:38:06,660 I just... 1076 00:38:07,661 --> 00:38:09,287 Martin, come on. 1077 00:38:09,329 --> 00:38:10,852 I'll go crazy 1078 00:38:10,853 --> 00:38:12,374 if I have to sit up in 1079 00:38:09,329 --> 00:38:12,374 that house all afternoon. 1080 00:38:12,415 --> 00:38:14,084 You love it up there. 1081 00:38:14,126 --> 00:38:15,961 - All those guys - paid to adore you. 1082 00:38:16,003 --> 00:38:17,963 Come on, 1083 00:38:17,964 --> 00:38:19,923 check out the butler. 1084 00:38:16,003 --> 00:38:19,923 He's got a 14-pack. 1085 00:38:19,965 --> 00:38:21,217 - You're right, - I'm gonna go find him. 1086 00:38:21,258 --> 00:38:22,384 Yeah? 1087 00:38:37,566 --> 00:38:38,859 You win. 1088 00:38:38,901 --> 00:38:40,610 - ♪ Looking from - the window above 1089 00:38:40,652 --> 00:38:43,113 ♪ It's like a story of life 1090 00:38:43,989 --> 00:38:46,992 ♪ Can you hear me? 1091 00:38:47,034 --> 00:38:49,870 ♪ Came back only yesterday 1092 00:38:49,912 --> 00:38:52,956 ♪ Who went further away 1093 00:38:52,998 --> 00:38:56,710 ♪ Want you near me 1094 00:38:56,752 --> 00:38:58,421 ♪ All I needed was 1095 00:38:58,422 --> 00:39:00,089 the love you gave 1096 00:39:01,257 --> 00:39:03,238 ♪ All I needed 1097 00:39:03,239 --> 00:39:05,219 for another day 1098 00:39:05,261 --> 00:39:08,097 ♪ And all I ever knew 1099 00:39:08,931 --> 00:39:10,557 ♪ Only you 1100 00:39:14,061 --> 00:39:15,584 ♪ Sometimes when 1101 00:39:15,585 --> 00:39:17,106 I think of her name 1102 00:39:17,147 --> 00:39:19,441 ♪ When it's only a game 1103 00:39:20,150 --> 00:39:23,320 ♪ And I need you 1104 00:39:23,361 --> 00:39:24,634 ♪ Listen to the words 1105 00:39:24,635 --> 00:39:25,906 that you say 1106 00:39:25,948 --> 00:39:27,596 ♪ It's getting harder 1107 00:39:27,597 --> 00:39:29,243 to stay 1108 00:39:29,285 --> 00:39:32,121 ♪ When I see you ♪ 1109 00:39:33,956 --> 00:39:35,832 - MRS. WATTLESBROOK: - Martin, the birds. 1110 00:39:35,874 --> 00:39:37,584 I'll see you later? 1111 00:39:37,626 --> 00:39:39,086 Yeah. I just gotta put 1112 00:39:39,087 --> 00:39:40,545 away a few fake birds. 1113 00:39:40,587 --> 00:39:42,256 - Maybe see you - at the stables? 1114 00:39:43,048 --> 00:39:44,300 Okay. 1115 00:39:53,100 --> 00:39:54,935 - ANDREWS: Awful as spread, - is this one. 1116 00:39:54,977 --> 00:39:57,271 But really. Never before... 1117 00:39:58,939 --> 00:40:00,149 I'm gonna need a new 1118 00:40:00,150 --> 00:40:01,358 inkwell in my room. 1119 00:40:01,441 --> 00:40:03,277 - Are you? - Yeah, it's empty. 1120 00:40:03,319 --> 00:40:04,569 Really? 1121 00:40:04,611 --> 00:40:05,946 And what are you going 1122 00:40:05,947 --> 00:40:07,281 to pen while you're there? 1123 00:40:07,323 --> 00:40:08,637 Maybe a little journal 1124 00:40:08,638 --> 00:40:09,950 of your time 1125 00:40:07,323 --> 00:40:09,950 and experiences? 1126 00:40:09,992 --> 00:40:11,306 Maybe the Declaration 1127 00:40:11,307 --> 00:40:12,619 of Independence. 1128 00:40:09,992 --> 00:40:12,619 Really? 1129 00:40:12,661 --> 00:40:14,288 - Sumptuous beans. - My favorite. 1130 00:40:14,330 --> 00:40:15,956 Yummy. 1131 00:40:15,998 --> 00:40:17,540 - How does one go about - eating a fish this big? 1132 00:40:17,582 --> 00:40:19,001 They're so delicious! 1133 00:40:19,042 --> 00:40:20,794 Baked, stewed. 1134 00:40:20,836 --> 00:40:22,462 Refried. 1135 00:40:22,504 --> 00:40:23,839 - (TAPPING GLASS) - Marvelous. 1136 00:40:25,048 --> 00:40:28,969 Everyone. I have great news. 1137 00:40:29,011 --> 00:40:31,013 Captain George East 1138 00:40:31,014 --> 00:40:33,015 has just arrived 1139 00:40:29,011 --> 00:40:33,015 from the West Indies. 1140 00:40:40,438 --> 00:40:41,690 Good morning, ladies. 1141 00:40:42,774 --> 00:40:44,360 You're beautiful. 1142 00:40:46,195 --> 00:40:47,676 I hear you were 1143 00:40:47,677 --> 00:40:49,156 just made captain. 1144 00:40:49,198 --> 00:40:51,033 Do tell us the story. 1145 00:40:51,074 --> 00:40:52,389 Yes, we like stories. 1146 00:40:52,390 --> 00:40:53,702 Please do. 1147 00:40:51,074 --> 00:40:53,702 Can't wait. 1148 00:40:53,743 --> 00:40:55,934 I were raised on the sea. 1149 00:40:55,935 --> 00:40:58,123 Ferrying goods 1150 00:40:53,743 --> 00:40:58,123 between the islands. 1151 00:40:58,165 --> 00:41:00,022 But when Napoleon struck, 1152 00:41:00,023 --> 00:41:01,877 I joined arms with 1153 00:40:58,165 --> 00:41:01,877 me British brothers. 1154 00:41:03,045 --> 00:41:05,547 Bravi, bravi. 1155 00:41:05,588 --> 00:41:07,362 Within months 1156 00:41:07,363 --> 00:41:09,134 I were first mate, 1157 00:41:09,176 --> 00:41:10,678 and then came my 1158 00:41:10,679 --> 00:41:12,179 moment of destiny. 1159 00:41:12,221 --> 00:41:13,681 Imagine one lone 1160 00:41:13,682 --> 00:41:15,140 British frigate, 1161 00:41:15,182 --> 00:41:16,267 surrounded by four 1162 00:41:16,268 --> 00:41:17,351 French war crafts, 1163 00:41:17,393 --> 00:41:18,601 cap'n dead on the deck. 1164 00:41:18,643 --> 00:41:19,707 "Surrender," came the cry. 1165 00:41:19,708 --> 00:41:20,770 Anyone buying this? 1166 00:41:20,812 --> 00:41:23,106 "Never," said I. 1167 00:41:23,148 --> 00:41:24,566 Did you die? 1168 00:41:26,484 --> 00:41:28,591 Now I were 1169 00:41:28,592 --> 00:41:30,697 tempted to surrender, 1170 00:41:26,484 --> 00:41:30,697 but I had to hearten me men. 1171 00:41:31,781 --> 00:41:33,450 "Death first." 1172 00:41:36,370 --> 00:41:38,394 But surely there could be 1173 00:41:38,395 --> 00:41:40,416 no dishonor in surrender 1174 00:41:40,457 --> 00:41:42,189 with your captain dead 1175 00:41:42,190 --> 00:41:43,919 and your men so outnumbered? 1176 00:41:43,960 --> 00:41:45,545 When my seaman's heart 1177 00:41:45,546 --> 00:41:47,130 tell me what to do, 1178 00:41:47,172 --> 00:41:48,695 I do not fear to 1179 00:41:48,696 --> 00:41:50,217 follow through. 1180 00:41:50,259 --> 00:41:52,219 That rhymes. That rhymes. 1181 00:41:52,261 --> 00:41:53,470 But right now, 1182 00:41:55,638 --> 00:41:56,932 my seaman's heart 1183 00:41:56,933 --> 00:41:58,225 bid me do thusly. 1184 00:42:00,685 --> 00:42:02,313 You are a most 1185 00:42:02,314 --> 00:42:03,939 sensual creature. 1186 00:42:05,482 --> 00:42:06,566 Thank you. 1187 00:42:06,608 --> 00:42:07,817 Oh. (CHUCKLES) 1188 00:42:19,746 --> 00:42:21,498 - (MUSIC PLAYING - ON EARPHONES) 1189 00:42:24,376 --> 00:42:25,523 ANDREWS: I say. 1190 00:42:25,524 --> 00:42:26,669 Steady on, Captain. 1191 00:42:28,297 --> 00:42:29,839 This is absurd. 1192 00:42:31,716 --> 00:42:32,801 - Oh! - Oh! 1193 00:42:33,718 --> 00:42:34,928 Watch out, Nobley. 1194 00:42:34,970 --> 00:42:36,846 - No, don't get up - too quickly, George. 1195 00:42:36,888 --> 00:42:38,140 - I believe - the ladies are needed 1196 00:42:38,181 --> 00:42:39,412 In the drawing room 1197 00:42:39,413 --> 00:42:40,642 with Mrs. Wattlesbrook. 1198 00:42:40,683 --> 00:42:42,269 Lizzie darling. 1199 00:42:42,311 --> 00:42:43,603 I'll be along shortly. 1200 00:42:43,645 --> 00:42:44,667 I'm your humble servant, 1201 00:42:44,668 --> 00:42:45,688 My Lady. 1202 00:42:45,730 --> 00:42:46,877 MRS. WATTLESBROOK: Ladies, 1203 00:42:46,878 --> 00:42:48,024 please join me in the parlor 1204 00:42:48,066 --> 00:42:50,068 for my lecture series 1205 00:42:50,069 --> 00:42:52,070 on bonnets, 1206 00:42:48,066 --> 00:42:52,070 bosoms and vices. 1207 00:43:01,455 --> 00:43:02,956 - Hey. - Hi. 1208 00:43:05,625 --> 00:43:07,127 - What do we - have planned today? 1209 00:43:07,169 --> 00:43:09,213 What, you couldn't find 1210 00:43:09,214 --> 00:43:11,256 anyone else to 1211 00:43:07,169 --> 00:43:11,256 flirt with today? 1212 00:43:11,298 --> 00:43:12,654 I saw you parading 1213 00:43:12,655 --> 00:43:14,009 around with those actors. 1214 00:43:14,050 --> 00:43:15,177 I thought you 1215 00:43:15,178 --> 00:43:16,303 weren't into that stuff. 1216 00:43:16,345 --> 00:43:18,430 Maybe I am. 1217 00:43:18,472 --> 00:43:20,015 - Well, I've never - really been able to 1218 00:43:20,056 --> 00:43:21,641 - Respect the kind of - women that come here. 1219 00:43:21,683 --> 00:43:23,310 So I guess I was 1220 00:43:23,311 --> 00:43:24,936 fooling myself that 1221 00:43:21,683 --> 00:43:24,936 you weren't one of them. 1222 00:43:24,978 --> 00:43:26,125 What, so are you 1223 00:43:26,126 --> 00:43:27,272 breaking up with me? 1224 00:43:27,314 --> 00:43:28,982 Breaking up? 1225 00:43:29,024 --> 00:43:30,234 I didn't realize 1226 00:43:30,235 --> 00:43:31,443 we were going steady. 1227 00:43:31,485 --> 00:43:33,987 No, sorry, I didn't mean it. 1228 00:43:51,213 --> 00:43:52,277 WOMAN: (ON TV) If I was 1229 00:43:52,278 --> 00:43:53,340 sane when I shot you, 1230 00:43:53,382 --> 00:43:54,696 I would have aimed 1231 00:43:54,697 --> 00:43:56,009 for your head. 1232 00:43:56,051 --> 00:43:57,760 - CAPTAIN EAST: - Did you see that? 1233 00:43:57,802 --> 00:43:59,804 That was amazing, George. 1234 00:43:59,846 --> 00:44:01,264 - I mean, - really beautiful acting. 1235 00:44:01,306 --> 00:44:02,849 - CAPTAIN EAST: I had to - drink human breast milk 1236 00:44:02,891 --> 00:44:04,476 - Supplements to - get arms that big. 1237 00:44:02,891 --> 00:44:04,476 ANDREWS: Ugh! 1238 00:44:04,518 --> 00:44:05,519 I mean... 1239 00:44:06,895 --> 00:44:08,646 - Must be what makes - your hair so shiny. 1240 00:44:08,688 --> 00:44:10,399 Can I use your power socket? 1241 00:44:10,440 --> 00:44:11,713 But you'll have to 1242 00:44:11,714 --> 00:44:12,984 turn off the telly. 1243 00:44:10,440 --> 00:44:12,984 George, do you mind? 1244 00:44:13,026 --> 00:44:14,110 Well, I... 1245 00:44:14,152 --> 00:44:16,112 - Well, we'll watch it later. - Okay. 1246 00:44:17,322 --> 00:44:18,449 Welcome to 1247 00:44:18,450 --> 00:44:19,575 the Pleasure Dome. 1248 00:44:20,742 --> 00:44:22,536 - Thank you. - MARTIN: Hey, George. 1249 00:44:22,578 --> 00:44:23,703 Hey, Martin. You good? 1250 00:44:23,745 --> 00:44:24,787 Yeah. 1251 00:44:25,747 --> 00:44:28,166 Welcome back, eh. 1252 00:44:28,208 --> 00:44:29,376 How are the ladies 1253 00:44:29,377 --> 00:44:30,544 treating you this year? 1254 00:44:30,586 --> 00:44:32,921 Well, I can't complain. 1255 00:44:32,962 --> 00:44:34,548 I can't complain. 1256 00:44:34,590 --> 00:44:35,840 You really let yourself go. 1257 00:44:37,092 --> 00:44:38,510 What? Really? What? 1258 00:44:38,552 --> 00:44:40,554 Don't. Leave the boy alone. 1259 00:44:40,596 --> 00:44:42,931 How is life in the stables? 1260 00:44:42,972 --> 00:44:44,287 My horses are less 1261 00:44:44,288 --> 00:44:45,601 trouble than women. 1262 00:44:48,978 --> 00:44:50,397 What do you guys 1263 00:44:50,398 --> 00:44:51,814 think of that girl, Jane? 1264 00:44:51,856 --> 00:44:53,483 - What's its name? - You know, Miss... 1265 00:44:53,525 --> 00:44:54,901 Erstwhile. 1266 00:44:54,943 --> 00:44:56,945 - CAPTAIN EAST: Yeah, I could - slap that between a bun. 1267 00:44:56,986 --> 00:44:59,114 Well, she's a bit peculiar. 1268 00:44:59,155 --> 00:45:00,323 CAPTAIN EAST: She's hot. 1269 00:45:00,365 --> 00:45:01,450 She's all right. 1270 00:45:02,284 --> 00:45:03,910 (STEREO PLAYING) 1271 00:45:03,952 --> 00:45:05,412 (AMELIA SINGING 1272 00:45:05,413 --> 00:45:06,871 (IN PITCHY VOICE) 1273 00:45:03,952 --> 00:45:06,871 ♪ No flower of her kindred 1274 00:45:06,913 --> 00:45:11,376 ♪ No rosebud is nigh 1275 00:45:11,418 --> 00:45:13,754 ♪ To reflect back 1276 00:45:13,755 --> 00:45:16,089 her blushes 1277 00:45:16,131 --> 00:45:22,178 ♪ Give sigh for sigh ♪ 1278 00:45:22,220 --> 00:45:23,763 (TAPE STOPS) 1279 00:45:23,805 --> 00:45:25,036 MRS. WATTLESBROOK: Perfect, 1280 00:45:25,037 --> 00:45:26,266 Lady Heartwright. Perfect. 1281 00:45:26,308 --> 00:45:27,455 I have no words 1282 00:45:27,456 --> 00:45:28,602 to describe it. 1283 00:45:29,269 --> 00:45:30,770 I say. 1284 00:45:30,812 --> 00:45:32,668 I would die enraptured 1285 00:45:32,669 --> 00:45:34,524 to hear you play, 1286 00:45:30,812 --> 00:45:34,524 Miss Erstwhile. 1287 00:45:34,566 --> 00:45:36,109 - No, not tonight, - not tonight. 1288 00:45:36,151 --> 00:45:37,653 - Please. - Go on, go on. 1289 00:45:37,694 --> 00:45:40,656 Miss Erstwhile, I insist. 1290 00:45:41,197 --> 00:45:42,407 (FARTS) 1291 00:45:44,493 --> 00:45:45,619 Okay. 1292 00:45:47,203 --> 00:45:49,164 - Thank you. - Allow me. 1293 00:46:01,593 --> 00:46:03,886 I only really know one song. 1294 00:46:03,928 --> 00:46:05,139 Play that one then. 1295 00:46:05,140 --> 00:46:06,348 Not surprising. 1296 00:46:06,389 --> 00:46:08,308 So I'll just play that. 1297 00:46:12,103 --> 00:46:15,482 (PLAYING HOT IN HERE) 1298 00:46:21,530 --> 00:46:23,490 ♪ It's getting hot in here 1299 00:46:23,532 --> 00:46:24,637 ♪ So take off 1300 00:46:24,638 --> 00:46:25,742 all your clothes 1301 00:46:25,783 --> 00:46:28,161 ♪ I am getting so hot 1302 00:46:28,203 --> 00:46:29,579 ♪ I'm gonna take 1303 00:46:29,580 --> 00:46:30,955 my clothes off ♪ 1304 00:46:30,997 --> 00:46:32,207 I never. 1305 00:46:36,919 --> 00:46:39,047 I think I will retire early. 1306 00:46:43,552 --> 00:46:45,554 That was frigging awesome. 1307 00:46:48,765 --> 00:46:50,600 (PIANO PLAYING) 1308 00:46:54,646 --> 00:46:55,690 (AMELIA SINGING 1309 00:46:55,691 --> 00:46:56,732 (IN PITCHY VOICE) 1310 00:47:14,499 --> 00:47:16,167 - Where are you going? - (EXCLAIMS) Whoa! 1311 00:47:16,209 --> 00:47:18,628 Sorry. Sorry. I didn't know 1312 00:47:18,670 --> 00:47:20,234 I became a ninja 1313 00:47:20,235 --> 00:47:21,798 when startled in 1314 00:47:18,670 --> 00:47:21,798 a strange place. 1315 00:47:21,839 --> 00:47:23,383 My father, if he were alive, 1316 00:47:23,384 --> 00:47:24,926 would die of shame. 1317 00:47:24,967 --> 00:47:26,720 - And here was I thinking - that any father would be 1318 00:47:26,762 --> 00:47:27,930 Delighted to have 1319 00:47:27,931 --> 00:47:29,097 a ninja as a daughter. 1320 00:47:33,769 --> 00:47:35,478 (MARTIN SINGING IN DISTANCE) 1321 00:47:37,021 --> 00:47:38,440 Excuse me. 1322 00:47:39,399 --> 00:47:40,900 - Yes. - Miss Erstwhile. 1323 00:47:40,942 --> 00:47:42,590 I don't know if 1324 00:47:42,591 --> 00:47:44,237 you realize that 1325 00:47:44,279 --> 00:47:46,344 it's not proper in 1326 00:47:46,345 --> 00:47:48,408 this particular time, 1327 00:47:44,279 --> 00:47:48,408 or any time, 1328 00:47:48,450 --> 00:47:50,202 for a lady to be 1329 00:47:50,203 --> 00:47:51,953 alone after dark... 1330 00:47:51,994 --> 00:47:53,413 Okay. 1331 00:47:53,414 --> 00:47:54,831 Let alone cavorting 1332 00:47:51,994 --> 00:47:54,831 with the servants... 1333 00:47:54,872 --> 00:47:56,124 Cavort? 1334 00:47:56,165 --> 00:47:57,500 - When doing so - might lead to... 1335 00:47:57,542 --> 00:47:59,001 Did you just say "cavort"? 1336 00:47:59,043 --> 00:48:00,128 There's just 1337 00:48:00,129 --> 00:48:01,212 something about that guy 1338 00:47:59,043 --> 00:48:01,212 I really don't... 1339 00:48:01,254 --> 00:48:02,464 Aren't you all righteous 1340 00:48:02,465 --> 00:48:03,673 concern, Mr. Nobley? 1341 00:48:03,715 --> 00:48:05,321 Thank goodness you've 1342 00:48:05,322 --> 00:48:06,926 saved me from sullying 1343 00:48:03,715 --> 00:48:06,926 myself with the help. 1344 00:48:07,677 --> 00:48:10,054 Don't be so ridiculous. 1345 00:48:10,096 --> 00:48:11,556 Insufferable. 1346 00:48:15,017 --> 00:48:17,353 Well, good evening, 1347 00:48:17,354 --> 00:48:19,689 Miss Erstwhile. 1348 00:48:19,731 --> 00:48:21,608 - Good evening, - Mr. Wattlesbrook. 1349 00:48:21,650 --> 00:48:24,298 Still awake, are you? 1350 00:48:24,299 --> 00:48:26,946 Up to some mischief, I hope. 1351 00:48:26,988 --> 00:48:28,573 Just needed some fresh air. 1352 00:48:28,574 --> 00:48:30,158 If you'll excuse me. 1353 00:48:30,199 --> 00:48:32,577 No, no, stay a moment. 1354 00:48:32,619 --> 00:48:34,476 We might engage in 1355 00:48:34,477 --> 00:48:36,331 a private game of whist. 1356 00:48:37,248 --> 00:48:38,541 That's a four-person game. 1357 00:48:38,583 --> 00:48:40,460 We could be partners. 1358 00:48:40,502 --> 00:48:42,483 Little wink-wink, 1359 00:48:42,484 --> 00:48:44,464 little nudge-nudge, 1360 00:48:40,502 --> 00:48:44,464 under the table. 1361 00:48:44,506 --> 00:48:46,132 - I think I should - go to bed now. 1362 00:48:46,174 --> 00:48:47,801 - Precisely my point. - No. 1363 00:48:47,843 --> 00:48:49,031 This is so not 1364 00:48:49,032 --> 00:48:50,219 Regency appropriate! 1365 00:48:50,261 --> 00:48:51,742 We can make it 1366 00:48:51,743 --> 00:48:53,222 part of the game. 1367 00:48:50,261 --> 00:48:53,222 Do a little role play. 1368 00:48:53,264 --> 00:48:54,475 Get off of me. 1369 00:48:54,476 --> 00:48:55,684 Get off of me! 1370 00:48:57,268 --> 00:48:58,854 - (GROANING) - Miss Erstwhile? 1371 00:48:58,895 --> 00:49:01,063 Are you all right? 1372 00:49:01,105 --> 00:49:02,649 Whatever is the matter? 1373 00:49:02,650 --> 00:49:04,192 I didn't have time 1374 00:49:01,105 --> 00:49:04,192 to locate my breeches. 1375 00:49:05,861 --> 00:49:07,821 - Why, Mr. Wattlesbrook, - not again. 1376 00:49:07,863 --> 00:49:09,865 Little slag attacked me! 1377 00:49:09,906 --> 00:49:11,200 Well, obviously. 1378 00:49:11,201 --> 00:49:12,492 She is a ninja. 1379 00:49:17,038 --> 00:49:18,790 Come here. 1380 00:49:18,832 --> 00:49:20,667 - I have to tell you, - the lads are not gonna 1381 00:49:20,709 --> 00:49:22,168 - Cover up for you anymore. - I promise you. 1382 00:49:22,210 --> 00:49:23,920 - MR. WATTLESBROOK: - Just don't tell the missus! 1383 00:49:23,961 --> 00:49:25,881 - Well, I won't - tell the missus, but... 1384 00:49:25,922 --> 00:49:27,089 - MR. NOBLEY: I'll escort - you to your room. 1385 00:49:27,131 --> 00:49:28,216 I'm okay now. 1386 00:49:28,257 --> 00:49:30,593 Thank you. I just... 1387 00:49:30,635 --> 00:49:32,408 As long as there aren't 1388 00:49:32,409 --> 00:49:34,180 any other Mr. Wattlesbrooks 1389 00:49:30,635 --> 00:49:34,180 lurking around. 1390 00:49:34,222 --> 00:49:36,015 - I cannot give Andrews - a glowing reference, 1391 00:49:36,057 --> 00:49:37,600 Though I do believe 1392 00:49:37,601 --> 00:49:39,143 you could take him down. 1393 00:49:39,185 --> 00:49:41,354 (CHUCKLES) 1394 00:49:41,396 --> 00:49:43,565 Miss Erstwhile, 1395 00:49:43,566 --> 00:49:45,734 are you sure there's nothing 1396 00:49:41,396 --> 00:49:45,734 more I can do for you? 1397 00:49:45,775 --> 00:49:47,443 I'm fine. 1398 00:49:49,070 --> 00:49:51,030 I should just go to bed. 1399 00:49:52,866 --> 00:49:54,200 Good night. 1400 00:49:58,538 --> 00:50:00,373 - Apparently I bought - the cheap package. 1401 00:50:00,415 --> 00:50:01,770 You kidding me? 1402 00:50:01,771 --> 00:50:03,125 MOLLY: The cheap package? 1403 00:50:00,415 --> 00:50:03,125 No. 1404 00:50:03,167 --> 00:50:04,669 - I don't even think - my character gets 1405 00:50:04,711 --> 00:50:06,504 - The "happily ever - after" storyline. 1406 00:50:06,546 --> 00:50:08,214 - I am going to kill - that travel agent. 1407 00:50:08,256 --> 00:50:09,403 I'm so mad I wasted 1408 00:50:09,404 --> 00:50:10,550 all my money. 1409 00:50:10,592 --> 00:50:12,301 Okay, enough is enough. 1410 00:50:12,343 --> 00:50:14,304 You just need to come home 1411 00:50:14,305 --> 00:50:16,264 and buy your Tercel back. 1412 00:50:17,724 --> 00:50:19,331 Molly, I'm kind of 1413 00:50:19,332 --> 00:50:20,936 a mess, aren't I? 1414 00:50:20,977 --> 00:50:22,228 That's an understatement. 1415 00:50:22,270 --> 00:50:23,876 I wanna get over 1416 00:50:23,877 --> 00:50:25,481 all of this stuff, 1417 00:50:25,523 --> 00:50:27,004 but if I leave now, 1418 00:50:27,005 --> 00:50:28,484 I'll always wonder 1419 00:50:25,523 --> 00:50:28,484 "What if?" 1420 00:50:28,526 --> 00:50:30,570 So, what are you gonna do? 1421 00:50:34,950 --> 00:50:35,992 I'm going to take 1422 00:50:35,993 --> 00:50:37,034 charge of my story. 1423 00:50:37,076 --> 00:50:38,266 An Austen heroine 1424 00:50:38,267 --> 00:50:39,454 gets engaged 1425 00:50:37,076 --> 00:50:39,454 by the end of the book, 1426 00:50:39,495 --> 00:50:41,163 - so that is what - I'm going to do. 1427 00:50:41,205 --> 00:50:42,311 Why don't you go 1428 00:50:42,312 --> 00:50:43,416 for Captain East? 1429 00:50:43,458 --> 00:50:44,834 Look how hot he is. 1430 00:50:44,876 --> 00:50:46,669 And he's a soap star. 1431 00:50:46,711 --> 00:50:48,254 (GUN FIRING) 1432 00:50:51,382 --> 00:50:52,842 Captain East? 1433 00:50:54,218 --> 00:50:56,345 Okay. East it is. 1434 00:50:56,387 --> 00:50:58,264 But can you help me, please? 1435 00:50:58,306 --> 00:50:59,453 I mean, 1436 00:50:59,454 --> 00:51:00,600 this is not gonna work. 1437 00:51:02,477 --> 00:51:04,875 I've prepared my entire life 1438 00:51:04,876 --> 00:51:07,273 for this very moment. 1439 00:51:09,233 --> 00:51:10,485 Someone's coming, hurry up. 1440 00:51:17,784 --> 00:51:19,224 Heartwright had 1441 00:51:19,225 --> 00:51:20,662 millions of them. 1442 00:51:20,703 --> 00:51:22,288 She's as dumb as 1443 00:51:22,289 --> 00:51:23,873 a light post. 1444 00:51:20,703 --> 00:51:23,873 She'll never notice. 1445 00:51:23,915 --> 00:51:25,374 Oh, my God. 1446 00:51:25,416 --> 00:51:27,794 Look at this one. 1447 00:51:27,836 --> 00:51:29,004 I love stealing 1448 00:51:29,005 --> 00:51:30,171 things from her. 1449 00:51:31,840 --> 00:51:33,716 Watch my mouth. 1450 00:51:33,758 --> 00:51:34,926 Blast. 1451 00:51:36,344 --> 00:51:37,428 Blast. 1452 00:51:37,470 --> 00:51:39,305 Good. Good. 1453 00:51:39,347 --> 00:51:40,932 Bloody Americans. 1454 00:51:40,933 --> 00:51:42,517 (GRUNTS) 1455 00:51:45,854 --> 00:51:47,460 Bloody Americans. 1456 00:51:47,461 --> 00:51:49,065 (GRUNTS) 1457 00:51:50,483 --> 00:51:51,714 You got it. 1458 00:51:51,715 --> 00:51:52,944 You are the queen. 1459 00:51:52,986 --> 00:51:54,195 Really? 1460 00:51:55,571 --> 00:51:57,365 (POP SONG PLAYING) 1461 00:52:09,377 --> 00:52:12,088 ♪ Her hair is Harlow gold 1462 00:52:13,548 --> 00:52:16,009 ♪ Her lips sweet surprise 1463 00:52:17,677 --> 00:52:20,221 ♪ Her hands are never cold 1464 00:52:21,556 --> 00:52:23,808 ♪ She's got Bette Davis eyes 1465 00:52:23,850 --> 00:52:25,164 ♪ She'll turn 1466 00:52:25,165 --> 00:52:26,477 the music on you 1467 00:52:27,979 --> 00:52:29,293 ♪ You won't have 1468 00:52:29,294 --> 00:52:30,606 to think twice 1469 00:52:32,067 --> 00:52:33,235 ♪ She's pure as 1470 00:52:33,236 --> 00:52:34,402 New York snow 1471 00:52:36,029 --> 00:52:38,573 ♪ She got Bette Davis eyes 1472 00:52:41,617 --> 00:52:43,578 ♪ And she'll tease you 1473 00:52:43,579 --> 00:52:45,538 She'll unease you 1474 00:52:45,580 --> 00:52:47,645 ♪ All the better 1475 00:52:47,646 --> 00:52:49,709 just to please you 1476 00:52:49,751 --> 00:52:51,627 ♪ She's precocious 1477 00:52:51,669 --> 00:52:53,629 ♪ And she knows just 1478 00:52:53,671 --> 00:52:55,716 ♪ What it takes 1479 00:52:55,717 --> 00:52:57,759 to make a pro blush ♪ 1480 00:53:00,011 --> 00:53:01,888 - the family - name's not Nobley at all, 1481 00:53:01,930 --> 00:53:03,494 And that's 1482 00:53:03,495 --> 00:53:05,058 a French affectation. 1483 00:53:01,930 --> 00:53:05,058 In fact, it's Knobble. 1484 00:53:05,100 --> 00:53:06,976 - Knobble, just Knobble. - (CHUCKLING) 1485 00:53:09,437 --> 00:53:11,481 You can tell by 1486 00:53:11,482 --> 00:53:13,524 the way he uses his chalk 1487 00:53:09,437 --> 00:53:13,524 that he's a ladies' man. 1488 00:53:13,566 --> 00:53:14,880 He doesn't have time for 1489 00:53:14,881 --> 00:53:16,193 that kind of conversation. 1490 00:53:16,235 --> 00:53:18,195 Don't mind me. 1491 00:53:18,237 --> 00:53:19,656 It's unusual sometimes, 1492 00:53:19,657 --> 00:53:21,074 but he is rather shy. 1493 00:53:18,237 --> 00:53:21,074 (GLASS SHATTERING) 1494 00:53:21,116 --> 00:53:23,242 Do you think he hears us? 1495 00:53:23,284 --> 00:53:25,036 He doesn't look over 1496 00:53:25,037 --> 00:53:26,788 and yet his 1497 00:53:23,284 --> 00:53:26,788 expressions and mannerisms 1498 00:53:26,829 --> 00:53:28,102 are a bit too determined, 1499 00:53:28,103 --> 00:53:29,373 don't you think? 1500 00:53:29,415 --> 00:53:30,562 Right you are, 1501 00:53:30,563 --> 00:53:31,709 Miss Erstwhile. 1502 00:53:31,751 --> 00:53:33,836 'Course I hear you. 1503 00:53:33,878 --> 00:53:35,776 Have to be deaf not to 1504 00:53:35,777 --> 00:53:37,673 the way you lot 1505 00:53:33,878 --> 00:53:37,673 are prattling on. 1506 00:53:37,715 --> 00:53:39,696 I say, Nobley, 1507 00:53:39,697 --> 00:53:41,677 you are being 1508 00:53:37,715 --> 00:53:41,677 awfully tedious today. 1509 00:53:42,428 --> 00:53:43,930 Good one. 1510 00:53:43,972 --> 00:53:45,347 - You know, - alone with the chaps, 1511 00:53:45,389 --> 00:53:46,641 - He's really quite - a pleasant fellow. 1512 00:53:46,682 --> 00:53:47,705 Really? 1513 00:53:47,706 --> 00:53:48,726 Yes. 1514 00:53:48,768 --> 00:53:50,186 CAPTAIN EAST: No, baby. 1515 00:53:50,227 --> 00:53:51,875 My little kumquat. 1516 00:53:51,876 --> 00:53:53,522 You made yourself all wet. 1517 00:53:53,564 --> 00:53:54,899 Allow me. 1518 00:53:55,524 --> 00:53:56,776 Oh. 1519 00:53:58,277 --> 00:53:59,821 Look at you, all moist. 1520 00:54:03,783 --> 00:54:05,076 Couldn't you just 1521 00:54:05,077 --> 00:54:06,368 use a handkerchief? 1522 00:54:07,203 --> 00:54:08,663 Captain. 1523 00:54:10,665 --> 00:54:13,021 Perhaps I don't find 1524 00:54:13,022 --> 00:54:15,377 the conversation 1525 00:54:10,665 --> 00:54:15,377 of women to be 1526 00:54:16,838 --> 00:54:18,006 stimulating. 1527 00:54:18,047 --> 00:54:19,257 I just can't imagine 1528 00:54:19,258 --> 00:54:20,466 why you're still single. 1529 00:54:20,508 --> 00:54:21,759 - Don't see a ring - on your finger. 1530 00:54:21,801 --> 00:54:23,011 Nobley. 1531 00:54:23,052 --> 00:54:24,428 No, no, no, it's all right. 1532 00:54:24,470 --> 00:54:26,514 I asked for it. 1533 00:54:26,555 --> 00:54:28,349 - I am single - because, apparently, 1534 00:54:28,390 --> 00:54:29,455 The only good 1535 00:54:29,456 --> 00:54:30,518 men are fictional. 1536 00:54:30,559 --> 00:54:31,936 Touche. 1537 00:54:31,978 --> 00:54:33,521 And you think that 1538 00:54:33,522 --> 00:54:35,064 there's any good 1539 00:54:31,978 --> 00:54:35,064 women out there? 1540 00:54:35,106 --> 00:54:36,732 No, no, no. 1541 00:54:36,774 --> 00:54:38,026 They profess 1542 00:54:38,027 --> 00:54:39,276 honesty and fidelity, 1543 00:54:39,318 --> 00:54:40,486 and while you're away 1544 00:54:40,487 --> 00:54:41,654 lecturing in Switzerland, 1545 00:54:41,696 --> 00:54:42,843 they run off to 1546 00:54:42,844 --> 00:54:43,990 Brazil with your mate! 1547 00:54:44,032 --> 00:54:45,451 MISS CHARMING: 1548 00:54:45,452 --> 00:54:46,868 Get on with the game, 1549 00:54:44,032 --> 00:54:46,868 you old windbag! 1550 00:54:48,203 --> 00:54:49,871 Someone departing? 1551 00:54:58,379 --> 00:55:00,006 That's my trunk. 1552 00:55:00,048 --> 00:55:02,342 I have discovered 1553 00:55:02,343 --> 00:55:04,635 an unmentionable 1554 00:55:00,048 --> 00:55:04,635 amongst your things. 1555 00:55:04,677 --> 00:55:06,554 - Now I believe I - made it perfectly clear 1556 00:55:06,595 --> 00:55:08,389 - About the rules, - Miss Erstwhile. 1557 00:55:08,430 --> 00:55:10,349 - We thank you for your stay, - but I regret that 1558 00:55:10,391 --> 00:55:12,434 - Your actions have - forced me to cut it short. 1559 00:55:12,894 --> 00:55:14,062 What? 1560 00:55:14,103 --> 00:55:15,688 - First, that horrid - little song and now this. 1561 00:55:15,730 --> 00:55:17,106 - You're really - gonna kick me out? 1562 00:55:17,148 --> 00:55:18,504 I'm afraid it is 1563 00:55:18,505 --> 00:55:19,859 time for you to leave. 1564 00:55:25,073 --> 00:55:27,075 Go get 'em, Charming. 1565 00:55:27,116 --> 00:55:28,492 I'm so sorry, Jane. 1566 00:55:30,452 --> 00:55:32,247 If you would be so kind 1567 00:55:32,248 --> 00:55:34,040 as to step on to the cart. 1568 00:55:37,376 --> 00:55:38,836 Mrs. Wattlesbrook. 1569 00:55:38,878 --> 00:55:40,337 Please, wait. 1570 00:55:44,050 --> 00:55:45,718 This is all my fault. 1571 00:55:45,760 --> 00:55:47,929 The modern 1572 00:55:47,930 --> 00:55:50,098 contraption is mine. 1573 00:55:50,139 --> 00:55:52,016 - I did not realize I had - it until I first arrived. 1574 00:55:52,058 --> 00:55:54,518 And I was so distressed, 1575 00:55:54,560 --> 00:55:56,708 Miss Erstwhile 1576 00:55:56,709 --> 00:55:58,856 kindly offered 1577 00:55:54,560 --> 00:55:58,856 to keep it for me 1578 00:55:58,898 --> 00:56:00,546 where I would not have to 1579 00:56:00,547 --> 00:56:02,193 look upon the eyesore... 1580 00:56:02,235 --> 00:56:03,945 MRS. WATTLESBROOK: Oh. Well, 1581 00:56:03,986 --> 00:56:05,280 I see. 1582 00:56:05,321 --> 00:56:07,178 So, apparently this appears 1583 00:56:07,179 --> 00:56:09,033 to be an accident, 1584 00:56:09,075 --> 00:56:11,265 and I think the best thing 1585 00:56:11,266 --> 00:56:13,454 is we should pretend 1586 00:56:09,075 --> 00:56:13,454 like it never happened. 1587 00:56:18,167 --> 00:56:19,440 Lady Heartwright, 1588 00:56:19,441 --> 00:56:20,711 I do so hope that you will 1589 00:56:20,753 --> 00:56:22,150 continue to honor us 1590 00:56:22,151 --> 00:56:23,547 with your presence. 1591 00:56:23,589 --> 00:56:25,341 Yes. Of course. 1592 00:56:25,800 --> 00:56:27,135 Thank you. 1593 00:56:32,723 --> 00:56:34,184 I forbid you to leave, 1594 00:56:34,185 --> 00:56:35,643 ever, Miss Erstwhile. 1595 00:56:37,478 --> 00:56:38,834 We were just getting 1596 00:56:38,835 --> 00:56:40,189 to know each other. 1597 00:56:46,612 --> 00:56:48,156 Miss Erstwhile. 1598 00:56:48,906 --> 00:56:51,033 Yeah. Hi. 1599 00:56:51,075 --> 00:56:52,598 Thank you 1600 00:56:52,599 --> 00:56:54,120 for back there with 1601 00:56:51,075 --> 00:56:54,120 Mrs. Wattlesbrook. 1602 00:56:54,162 --> 00:56:55,788 - It was a pleasure - to save you. 1603 00:56:55,830 --> 00:56:57,290 And, please, 1604 00:56:57,291 --> 00:56:58,749 you must call me Amelia. 1605 00:57:00,001 --> 00:57:01,169 Really? 1606 00:57:01,877 --> 00:57:03,254 Make haste. 1607 00:57:04,297 --> 00:57:05,506 Quickly. 1608 00:57:12,513 --> 00:57:13,931 Amelia? 1609 00:57:17,393 --> 00:57:18,645 Dear Jane, now that 1610 00:57:18,646 --> 00:57:19,895 we are bosom sisters, 1611 00:57:19,937 --> 00:57:21,148 I can at last 1612 00:57:21,149 --> 00:57:22,357 confide in someone. 1613 00:57:25,067 --> 00:57:26,361 Oh, Janey, 1614 00:57:27,862 --> 00:57:30,072 last year, at the ball, 1615 00:57:30,698 --> 00:57:31,907 Georgie... 1616 00:57:33,201 --> 00:57:35,870 George East and I 1617 00:57:37,038 --> 00:57:38,873 became engaged. 1618 00:57:40,708 --> 00:57:41,834 It is true. 1619 00:57:43,378 --> 00:57:45,359 But alas, 1620 00:57:45,360 --> 00:57:47,340 he was a poor sailor, 1621 00:57:47,382 --> 00:57:49,175 and my father broke 1622 00:57:49,176 --> 00:57:50,968 off the engagement 1623 00:57:47,382 --> 00:57:50,968 without my assent. 1624 00:57:52,720 --> 00:57:54,764 If I try to 1625 00:57:54,765 --> 00:57:56,807 explain this to him now, 1626 00:57:56,849 --> 00:57:58,600 - George will think - I only want him back 1627 00:57:58,642 --> 00:58:00,020 Because he has 1628 00:58:00,021 --> 00:58:01,396 become a wealthy captain. 1629 00:58:02,897 --> 00:58:05,274 What am I to do? 1630 00:58:05,316 --> 00:58:07,361 I sort of thought 1631 00:58:07,362 --> 00:58:09,404 you were into Nobley, 1632 00:58:05,316 --> 00:58:09,404 or is that not... 1633 00:58:09,445 --> 00:58:11,739 No, no, no! 1634 00:58:11,780 --> 00:58:13,554 Dear Jane, 1635 00:58:13,555 --> 00:58:15,326 I know you will help me 1636 00:58:15,368 --> 00:58:16,641 find a way to be 1637 00:58:16,642 --> 00:58:17,912 alone with Captain East. 1638 00:58:17,953 --> 00:58:19,664 I don't really 1639 00:58:19,665 --> 00:58:21,374 know what I could do. 1640 00:58:21,416 --> 00:58:23,168 It pained me to 1641 00:58:23,169 --> 00:58:24,919 be so dishonest 1642 00:58:24,960 --> 00:58:25,961 with Mrs. Wattlesbrook 1643 00:58:25,962 --> 00:58:26,962 back there. 1644 00:58:28,256 --> 00:58:30,258 But so long as you 1645 00:58:31,967 --> 00:58:34,053 are my dearest friend, 1646 00:58:35,096 --> 00:58:37,181 I'll keep your secret. 1647 00:58:38,307 --> 00:58:39,434 Oh. 1648 00:58:40,517 --> 00:58:43,562 Or should I say secrets? 1649 00:58:47,442 --> 00:58:49,735 Farewell, bosom sister. 1650 00:58:58,953 --> 00:59:01,539 You know, I think 1651 00:59:01,540 --> 00:59:04,125 being creative is a waste 1652 00:58:58,953 --> 00:59:04,125 of time and money. 1653 00:59:04,166 --> 00:59:06,023 AMELIA: Well, I love ribbons 1654 00:59:06,024 --> 00:59:07,878 and feathers and colors. 1655 00:59:07,920 --> 00:59:09,296 Another blue tit, 1656 00:59:09,297 --> 00:59:10,672 please, Miss Charming. 1657 00:59:10,714 --> 00:59:12,258 All right, but don't 1658 00:59:12,259 --> 00:59:13,801 copy everything I do. 1659 00:59:13,842 --> 00:59:15,136 I'll try. 1660 00:59:15,177 --> 00:59:16,762 - ANDREWS: We're not worthy, - Mrs. Wattlesbrook. 1661 00:59:16,804 --> 00:59:18,890 Their hearts will positively 1662 00:59:18,891 --> 00:59:20,975 burst from the rapture. 1663 00:59:21,016 --> 00:59:23,082 I have something of 1664 00:59:23,083 --> 00:59:25,146 the utmost urgency 1665 00:59:21,016 --> 00:59:25,146 to report. 1666 00:59:25,187 --> 00:59:26,772 - Who's game for - a bit of amusement? 1667 00:59:26,814 --> 00:59:29,400 Me! Me! I'm so bored. 1668 00:59:29,442 --> 00:59:32,111 Well, well, my cupcake, 1669 00:59:32,153 --> 00:59:33,863 Mrs. Wattlesbrook has only 1670 00:59:33,864 --> 00:59:35,572 gone and surpassed herself 1671 00:59:35,614 --> 00:59:37,616 and has completed 1672 00:59:37,617 --> 00:59:39,618 a brilliant theatrical. 1673 00:59:39,660 --> 00:59:41,620 - You don't look like - you could read or write. 1674 00:59:41,662 --> 00:59:43,122 It's just a trifle. 1675 00:59:43,164 --> 00:59:45,791 Now, there are six parts. 1676 00:59:45,833 --> 00:59:47,543 Three sets of lovers. 1677 00:59:47,584 --> 00:59:49,462 And I thought, give us 1678 00:59:49,463 --> 00:59:51,339 something to pass 1679 00:59:47,584 --> 00:59:51,339 the time until the ball, 1680 00:59:51,380 --> 00:59:52,486 we could rehearse 1681 00:59:52,487 --> 00:59:53,590 it and perform it 1682 00:59:53,632 --> 00:59:55,489 for our illustrious 1683 00:59:55,490 --> 00:59:57,345 and distinguished authoress. 1684 00:59:57,386 --> 00:59:59,430 Now are there any questions? 1685 00:59:59,472 --> 01:00:01,223 - No what? - No. 1686 01:00:01,265 --> 01:00:03,434 - You can't make me do a play. - It's humiliating. 1687 01:00:03,476 --> 01:00:04,999 That's not a question. 1688 01:00:05,000 --> 01:00:06,521 It's out of the question, 1689 01:00:03,476 --> 01:00:06,521 I'm afraid. 1690 01:00:06,562 --> 01:00:08,523 I've got a question. 1691 01:00:08,564 --> 01:00:10,983 Who gets to pick the lovers? 1692 01:00:11,025 --> 01:00:12,527 Well, I'm thinking 1693 01:00:12,528 --> 01:00:14,028 maybe ladies' choice. 1694 01:00:14,069 --> 01:00:15,654 - You know, - maybe alphabetically. 1695 01:00:15,696 --> 01:00:17,365 Goody, goody. 1696 01:00:17,406 --> 01:00:19,950 Eeny, meeny, miny... You! 1697 01:00:21,160 --> 01:00:22,953 Ma cherie. 1698 01:00:22,995 --> 01:00:24,663 And you, Miss Erstwhile? 1699 01:00:24,705 --> 01:00:26,374 - MISS CHARMING: - Pick wisely, Jane. 1700 01:00:36,633 --> 01:00:38,635 I guess Mr. Nobley. 1701 01:00:46,352 --> 01:00:48,145 - That's okay. - Sorry. Sorry. 1702 01:00:48,187 --> 01:00:49,355 Sorry. 1703 01:00:51,232 --> 01:00:52,651 Okay, since we have to 1704 01:00:52,652 --> 01:00:54,068 spend so much time 1705 01:00:51,232 --> 01:00:54,068 rehearsing this thing, 1706 01:00:54,109 --> 01:00:55,674 let's just... Let's try 1707 01:00:55,675 --> 01:00:57,238 not to annoy each other. 1708 01:00:57,279 --> 01:00:59,031 You don't annoy me. 1709 01:01:01,909 --> 01:01:03,869 You make me nervous. 1710 01:01:15,672 --> 01:01:16,799 So, 1711 01:01:16,800 --> 01:01:17,925 are you enjoying your stay? 1712 01:01:19,801 --> 01:01:21,386 Really? 1713 01:01:21,387 --> 01:01:22,971 We're making small talk now? 1714 01:01:26,601 --> 01:01:27,684 Okay. 1715 01:01:30,020 --> 01:01:32,795 Well, the house is amazing, 1716 01:01:32,796 --> 01:01:35,568 but it's kind 1717 01:01:30,020 --> 01:01:35,568 of like a corset. 1718 01:01:35,610 --> 01:01:36,632 I like the way it looks, 1719 01:01:36,633 --> 01:01:37,653 but it's just... 1720 01:01:37,694 --> 01:01:39,696 Hard to relax in it. 1721 01:01:39,738 --> 01:01:41,198 Yes, exactly. 1722 01:01:42,450 --> 01:01:43,618 But there is so 1723 01:01:43,619 --> 01:01:44,785 much to love here. 1724 01:01:44,826 --> 01:01:47,413 I mean, the civility. 1725 01:01:47,455 --> 01:01:48,664 The manners. 1726 01:01:48,705 --> 01:01:50,707 The grandeur, you know. 1727 01:01:50,749 --> 01:01:52,293 Simplicity. 1728 01:01:54,836 --> 01:01:56,338 The men. 1729 01:01:58,173 --> 01:01:59,508 The women. 1730 01:02:00,968 --> 01:02:02,595 The paintings. 1731 01:02:02,596 --> 01:02:04,221 They're really... 1732 01:02:04,263 --> 01:02:05,389 Yes, you are an artist. 1733 01:02:05,431 --> 01:02:06,515 No, no, no. 1734 01:02:06,557 --> 01:02:07,933 - The thing is, - those aren't real. 1735 01:02:07,975 --> 01:02:09,768 - They're just - stupid sketches. 1736 01:02:09,810 --> 01:02:11,770 - Exactly. - Who's that? 1737 01:02:11,812 --> 01:02:13,648 - I'm sorry. - They're not all like that. 1738 01:02:13,689 --> 01:02:15,190 No, no. It's a... 1739 01:02:15,232 --> 01:02:16,484 It's a fair likeness. 1740 01:02:16,485 --> 01:02:17,734 No apologies needed. 1741 01:02:21,322 --> 01:02:24,241 It is curious, however, 1742 01:02:24,283 --> 01:02:26,410 that there are more 1743 01:02:26,411 --> 01:02:28,537 of me than anyone else. 1744 01:02:28,579 --> 01:02:31,165 I guess I've been 1745 01:02:31,166 --> 01:02:33,750 trying to figure you out 1746 01:02:28,579 --> 01:02:33,750 without much luck. 1747 01:02:33,792 --> 01:02:34,982 Surely you've come 1748 01:02:34,983 --> 01:02:36,170 to some conclusions. 1749 01:02:36,211 --> 01:02:37,296 You're the resident 1750 01:02:37,297 --> 01:02:38,380 Mr. Darcy. 1751 01:02:38,422 --> 01:02:39,716 Come on, 1752 01:02:39,717 --> 01:02:41,008 you're every girl's fantasy. 1753 01:02:43,010 --> 01:02:44,761 So I'm your fantasy? 1754 01:02:46,639 --> 01:02:47,848 You play your 1755 01:02:47,849 --> 01:02:49,057 character very well. 1756 01:02:52,561 --> 01:02:53,729 Right. 1757 01:02:56,231 --> 01:02:57,441 Shall we rehearse, then? 1758 01:02:57,483 --> 01:02:58,567 Yes. 1759 01:02:58,609 --> 01:02:59,776 Roger. 1760 01:03:08,744 --> 01:03:10,371 Are they acting? 1761 01:03:14,041 --> 01:03:15,543 I don't know 1762 01:03:15,544 --> 01:03:17,044 what's real or 1763 01:03:14,041 --> 01:03:17,044 what's not anymore. 1764 01:03:17,085 --> 01:03:18,671 - I mean, - what if she actually is... 1765 01:03:18,713 --> 01:03:20,422 In love with him? 1766 01:03:20,464 --> 01:03:22,071 Well, don't you think 1767 01:03:22,072 --> 01:03:23,676 it's possible to 1768 01:03:20,464 --> 01:03:23,676 confuse truth with fantasy? 1769 01:03:23,718 --> 01:03:25,782 I mean, what's gonna happen 1770 01:03:25,783 --> 01:03:27,846 when the theatrical is over? 1771 01:03:27,888 --> 01:03:29,307 Well, it's a dangerous 1772 01:03:29,308 --> 01:03:30,725 kind of game to play. 1773 01:03:30,766 --> 01:03:32,748 Don't you think, 1774 01:03:32,749 --> 01:03:34,729 in their case anyway, 1775 01:03:30,766 --> 01:03:34,729 those feelings that, 1776 01:03:34,770 --> 01:03:36,252 you know, that they 1777 01:03:36,253 --> 01:03:37,732 can run deeper and... 1778 01:03:37,773 --> 01:03:39,441 Oh, my. 1779 01:03:39,483 --> 01:03:41,194 If you'd have 1780 01:03:41,195 --> 01:03:42,903 asked me a week ago, 1781 01:03:39,483 --> 01:03:42,903 I'd have said no. 1782 01:03:45,072 --> 01:03:46,073 Yes. 1783 01:03:46,074 --> 01:03:47,074 Miss Erstwhile. 1784 01:03:49,951 --> 01:03:51,579 You're shivering. 1785 01:03:55,583 --> 01:03:56,917 Thank you. 1786 01:04:08,970 --> 01:04:11,265 Remember to wear 1787 01:04:11,266 --> 01:04:13,559 your corsets nice and tight. 1788 01:04:08,970 --> 01:04:13,559 MRS. WATTLESBROOK: Ladies, 1789 01:04:13,601 --> 01:04:15,269 - Martin. - Jane, hey. 1790 01:04:16,144 --> 01:04:17,521 Where are the other guests? 1791 01:04:17,563 --> 01:04:18,731 In their private 1792 01:04:18,732 --> 01:04:19,898 whist lesson. 1793 01:04:19,940 --> 01:04:21,421 It's part of 1794 01:04:21,422 --> 01:04:22,901 the Platinum package. 1795 01:04:22,943 --> 01:04:24,570 - I can't say that - I miss that perk. 1796 01:04:25,487 --> 01:04:26,530 Stage curtain. 1797 01:04:26,572 --> 01:04:28,240 Right. Right. 1798 01:04:29,950 --> 01:04:31,827 - I'll let you - get to it, then. 1799 01:04:33,203 --> 01:04:34,538 Oh. 1800 01:04:35,163 --> 01:04:36,665 I'm sorry. 1801 01:04:44,881 --> 01:04:46,550 (CLASSICAL MUSIC PLAYING) 1802 01:04:51,680 --> 01:04:53,223 (WAVES GUSHING) 1803 01:04:53,265 --> 01:04:54,642 (BIRDS SQUAWKING) 1804 01:05:03,066 --> 01:05:07,571 I am Aphrodite, the goddess. 1805 01:05:07,613 --> 01:05:09,970 Often fickle 1806 01:05:09,971 --> 01:05:12,326 in my large arse. 1807 01:05:12,367 --> 01:05:13,765 Largesse. 1808 01:05:13,766 --> 01:05:15,162 Largesse. 1809 01:05:15,203 --> 01:05:19,333 I see some mortals there. 1810 01:05:19,374 --> 01:05:21,877 Yes, two in love, 1811 01:05:21,878 --> 01:05:24,379 yet in despair. 1812 01:05:24,421 --> 01:05:26,778 Prithee, fair maid. 1813 01:05:26,779 --> 01:05:29,134 Have thou seen my lost lamb? 1814 01:05:29,176 --> 01:05:31,720 Nay. Perhaps you 1815 01:05:31,721 --> 01:05:34,264 should listen for its bleat. 1816 01:05:34,306 --> 01:05:35,683 Bleat. Bleat. 1817 01:05:38,560 --> 01:05:41,480 Go not to Athens, 1818 01:05:41,481 --> 01:05:44,399 I pray thee, or my heart 1819 01:05:38,560 --> 01:05:44,399 will truly break. 1820 01:05:44,441 --> 01:05:45,485 In faith and troth, 1821 01:05:45,486 --> 01:05:46,527 I have no time to love... 1822 01:05:44,441 --> 01:05:46,527 MAN: Can't hear you. 1823 01:05:46,568 --> 01:05:47,695 No, no, no, louder. 1824 01:05:47,736 --> 01:05:48,821 What? 1825 01:05:48,863 --> 01:05:50,447 - MAN: Speak up! - Louder. 1826 01:05:50,489 --> 01:05:51,595 In faith and troth, 1827 01:05:51,596 --> 01:05:52,700 I have no time to 1828 01:05:50,489 --> 01:05:52,700 love a lady. 1829 01:05:52,741 --> 01:05:54,242 War is my mistress. 1830 01:05:59,080 --> 01:06:00,916 - I write poems of love. - Line? 1831 01:06:00,957 --> 01:06:03,689 I write poems of love 1832 01:06:03,690 --> 01:06:06,421 that no fair maid hears. 1833 01:06:06,463 --> 01:06:08,299 And I am shedding tears 1834 01:06:08,300 --> 01:06:10,133 that fall to the ground 1835 01:06:10,175 --> 01:06:11,635 but do not maketh 1836 01:06:11,636 --> 01:06:13,094 a sound like the land... 1837 01:06:13,136 --> 01:06:14,680 You're rubbish. 1838 01:06:14,681 --> 01:06:16,223 Get off the stage, 1839 01:06:13,136 --> 01:06:16,223 you wanker. 1840 01:06:17,349 --> 01:06:18,392 Really! 1841 01:06:18,433 --> 01:06:20,060 Philistines! 1842 01:06:20,101 --> 01:06:21,896 I shall make 1843 01:06:21,897 --> 01:06:23,689 everything all righty 1844 01:06:23,731 --> 01:06:26,379 because I am 1845 01:06:26,380 --> 01:06:29,027 the beautiful Aphrodite. 1846 01:06:30,571 --> 01:06:31,739 (YELLS) 1847 01:06:31,780 --> 01:06:33,031 (PEOPLE LAUGHING) 1848 01:06:34,825 --> 01:06:36,869 Can I pray thee, stranger, 1849 01:06:36,911 --> 01:06:38,913 make me thy wife. 1850 01:06:40,748 --> 01:06:41,978 I seek no marriage 1851 01:06:41,979 --> 01:06:43,208 but the cleavage... 1852 01:06:43,250 --> 01:06:45,210 Cleaving of my sword 1853 01:06:45,211 --> 01:06:47,170 on mine enemy's flesh. 1854 01:06:48,380 --> 01:06:50,340 Then I shall die this day. 1855 01:06:50,382 --> 01:06:52,426 Thou cur. 1856 01:06:52,467 --> 01:06:54,469 You break this lady's heart, 1857 01:06:54,470 --> 01:06:56,471 I will break your head. 1858 01:06:59,641 --> 01:07:00,726 (GRUNTS) 1859 01:07:09,192 --> 01:07:10,778 (GROANS) 1860 01:07:10,819 --> 01:07:12,446 - MRS. WATTLESBROOK: - Get an ice pack. 1861 01:07:10,819 --> 01:07:12,446 Sorry. 1862 01:07:13,614 --> 01:07:15,073 Sorry. 1863 01:07:15,115 --> 01:07:16,491 (HOOFBEATS TROTTING) 1864 01:07:21,830 --> 01:07:23,123 (CHUCKLES) 1865 01:07:24,625 --> 01:07:26,251 - WOMAN: Get on with it. - Sorry. 1866 01:07:26,877 --> 01:07:28,253 (STAMMERING) 1867 01:07:28,295 --> 01:07:29,463 What a... 1868 01:07:29,464 --> 01:07:30,631 I've fallen upon my sword. 1869 01:07:31,924 --> 01:07:33,884 - Is that blood - upon your breast? 1870 01:07:33,926 --> 01:07:36,303 Alas, I am for the grave. 1871 01:07:37,930 --> 01:07:39,389 (LAUGHING) 1872 01:07:41,057 --> 01:07:43,019 Then let me hold you 1873 01:07:43,020 --> 01:07:44,979 as long as 1874 01:07:41,057 --> 01:07:44,979 your breath lasts. 1875 01:07:45,020 --> 01:07:46,543 It's as if I 1876 01:07:46,544 --> 01:07:48,064 have never known you 1877 01:07:45,020 --> 01:07:48,064 before this moment. 1878 01:07:48,106 --> 01:07:49,816 And nought else matters 1879 01:07:49,817 --> 01:07:51,526 in this world but you 1880 01:07:51,568 --> 01:07:53,132 and how my 1881 01:07:53,133 --> 01:07:54,696 heart beats for you. 1882 01:07:54,738 --> 01:07:55,990 I love you. 1883 01:07:59,827 --> 01:08:01,202 You need to die, Nobley. 1884 01:08:01,829 --> 01:08:04,080 Sorry. Sorry. 1885 01:08:04,122 --> 01:08:05,624 (GROANING) 1886 01:08:09,461 --> 01:08:12,965 No, we are all dead. 1887 01:08:15,133 --> 01:08:16,134 No! 1888 01:08:19,638 --> 01:08:21,452 MISS CHARMING: 1889 01:08:21,453 --> 01:08:23,266 And they all died forever. 1890 01:08:27,688 --> 01:08:29,107 All dead forever. 1891 01:08:29,108 --> 01:08:30,524 (VOCALIZING) 1892 01:08:31,274 --> 01:08:33,151 Shut up, Fartwright. 1893 01:08:33,193 --> 01:08:34,653 (PEOPLE CLAPPING) 1894 01:08:35,946 --> 01:08:37,280 Oh! 1895 01:08:39,908 --> 01:08:41,952 Bravo. Bravo! 1896 01:08:43,286 --> 01:08:45,205 - Mrs. Wattlesbrook, - you're a genius. 1897 01:08:45,246 --> 01:08:47,082 - MRS. WATTLESBROOK: - Such talent. 1898 01:08:47,123 --> 01:08:48,313 Lady Heartwright, 1899 01:08:48,314 --> 01:08:49,501 you make such 1900 01:08:47,123 --> 01:08:49,501 a beautiful corpse. 1901 01:08:50,460 --> 01:08:51,962 You! 1902 01:08:52,004 --> 01:08:53,297 You know, 1903 01:08:53,298 --> 01:08:54,589 I was aiming for your cans, 1904 01:08:54,631 --> 01:08:55,862 but they're such 1905 01:08:55,863 --> 01:08:57,092 a small target. 1906 01:08:58,719 --> 01:09:00,054 Oh! 1907 01:09:01,680 --> 01:09:02,848 (SCREAMS) 1908 01:09:08,062 --> 01:09:09,230 AMELIA: 1909 01:09:09,231 --> 01:09:10,397 I'll never see again. 1910 01:09:08,062 --> 01:09:10,397 (SOBBING) 1911 01:09:11,565 --> 01:09:12,858 It's okay, my baby. 1912 01:09:17,487 --> 01:09:19,447 - Let's get out of here. - Come on. 1913 01:09:21,408 --> 01:09:22,889 MISS CHARMING: 1914 01:09:22,890 --> 01:09:24,369 ♪ You great, big 1915 01:09:21,408 --> 01:09:24,369 beautiful door ♪ 1916 01:09:25,245 --> 01:09:26,914 (HUMMING) 1917 01:09:35,338 --> 01:09:36,882 Come on. 1918 01:09:40,052 --> 01:09:41,511 This way. 1919 01:09:42,888 --> 01:09:44,139 Why are we running? 1920 01:09:44,180 --> 01:09:45,933 - Because man and - woman should never 1921 01:09:45,974 --> 01:09:46,997 Be alone unless 1922 01:09:46,998 --> 01:09:48,018 they are in motion. 1923 01:09:55,109 --> 01:09:56,840 And what do the rules 1924 01:09:56,841 --> 01:09:58,570 of etiquette say 1925 01:09:55,109 --> 01:09:58,570 about being alone 1926 01:09:58,612 --> 01:10:00,072 in your bedroom? 1927 01:10:01,073 --> 01:10:03,241 Right. 1928 01:10:03,283 --> 01:10:05,640 I should probably let 1929 01:10:05,641 --> 01:10:07,996 you go before one of us 1930 01:10:03,283 --> 01:10:07,996 gets into trouble. 1931 01:10:11,833 --> 01:10:13,461 I really had so 1932 01:10:13,462 --> 01:10:15,087 much fun tonight. 1933 01:10:15,129 --> 01:10:16,546 So did I. 1934 01:10:29,434 --> 01:10:30,685 Miss Erstwhile? 1935 01:10:34,106 --> 01:10:35,899 Yes, Mr. Nobley? 1936 01:10:37,484 --> 01:10:39,569 Tomorrow evening... 1937 01:10:39,611 --> 01:10:40,863 Can I reserve the first 1938 01:10:40,864 --> 01:10:42,114 two dances with you? 1939 01:10:43,698 --> 01:10:45,075 Yes, Mr. Nobley. 1940 01:10:48,162 --> 01:10:49,414 Miss Erstwhile, 1941 01:10:49,415 --> 01:10:50,664 will you let me 1942 01:10:48,162 --> 01:10:50,664 back in a moment? 1943 01:11:03,177 --> 01:11:05,595 When I look at you, I feel 1944 01:11:06,554 --> 01:11:08,182 certain of something. 1945 01:11:28,076 --> 01:11:29,410 (SIGHS) 1946 01:11:33,707 --> 01:11:35,416 - What? - Guess what? 1947 01:11:35,458 --> 01:11:37,586 I'm wearing my favorite 1948 01:11:37,587 --> 01:11:39,713 pair of satin pink 1949 01:11:35,458 --> 01:11:39,713 pantaloons just in case. 1950 01:11:39,754 --> 01:11:41,215 (GIGGLING) 1951 01:11:42,841 --> 01:11:44,718 - Look at that. - Oh, my God. 1952 01:11:46,469 --> 01:11:47,909 We're gonna be the prettiest 1953 01:11:47,910 --> 01:11:49,347 girls at the ball. 1954 01:11:53,935 --> 01:11:55,562 Have fun tonight, Amelia. 1955 01:11:56,688 --> 01:11:57,772 Oh. 1956 01:11:57,814 --> 01:11:59,983 You look so beautiful. 1957 01:12:00,025 --> 01:12:01,360 But like a beautiful pirate. 1958 01:12:01,361 --> 01:12:02,694 Piratey. 1959 01:12:02,736 --> 01:12:04,696 It's infected. 1960 01:12:04,738 --> 01:12:05,885 CAPTAIN EAST: 1961 01:12:05,886 --> 01:12:07,032 Maybe we should go. 1962 01:12:04,738 --> 01:12:07,032 I'm so sorry. 1963 01:12:07,074 --> 01:12:08,449 Ship's ahoy. 1964 01:12:08,491 --> 01:12:09,951 Baby? 1965 01:12:09,993 --> 01:12:11,369 It's okay, you look fine. 1966 01:12:11,411 --> 01:12:12,829 - MISS CHARMING: - It looks terrible. 1967 01:12:12,871 --> 01:12:14,122 That does not look good. 1968 01:12:14,164 --> 01:12:16,354 I was hoping to dance 1969 01:12:16,355 --> 01:12:18,543 with a goddess tonight. 1970 01:12:20,670 --> 01:12:22,338 Lordy. 1971 01:12:22,380 --> 01:12:23,737 Smother me in butter 1972 01:12:23,738 --> 01:12:25,092 and drop me in a saucepan. 1973 01:12:25,133 --> 01:12:26,948 There she is. 1974 01:12:26,949 --> 01:12:28,762 My Venus de Milo. 1975 01:12:31,265 --> 01:12:32,390 Colonel Andrews. 1976 01:12:32,432 --> 01:12:33,433 Miss Charming. 1977 01:12:44,778 --> 01:12:46,404 Tally-ho. 1978 01:12:47,781 --> 01:12:48,782 I can't wait to 1979 01:12:48,783 --> 01:12:49,783 see your bedroom. 1980 01:13:00,252 --> 01:13:01,377 Hi. 1981 01:13:01,419 --> 01:13:02,420 Hey. 1982 01:13:04,798 --> 01:13:06,696 Wow, you look... 1983 01:13:06,697 --> 01:13:08,593 You look amazing. 1984 01:13:08,635 --> 01:13:10,220 Thank you. 1985 01:13:10,221 --> 01:13:11,805 You look very nice, too. 1986 01:13:12,513 --> 01:13:14,432 - Topshop. - (LAUGHS) 1987 01:13:14,474 --> 01:13:15,538 Where are all 1988 01:13:15,539 --> 01:13:16,601 these people from? 1989 01:13:16,643 --> 01:13:18,708 She's got everyone here, 1990 01:13:18,709 --> 01:13:20,772 it's the gardener, 1991 01:13:16,643 --> 01:13:20,772 the maids, the servants. 1992 01:13:20,814 --> 01:13:22,128 That guy over there, 1993 01:13:22,129 --> 01:13:23,441 that's the taxidermist. 1994 01:13:23,483 --> 01:13:24,943 He's particularly creepy. 1995 01:13:26,653 --> 01:13:27,988 How is the baby horse? 1996 01:13:28,029 --> 01:13:29,281 He's good. 1997 01:13:29,323 --> 01:13:31,283 - Yeah. - He's talking and all that. 1998 01:13:31,325 --> 01:13:33,243 - Yeah. - He was asking about you. 1999 01:13:31,325 --> 01:13:33,243 Really? 2000 01:13:33,285 --> 01:13:34,308 Yeah. He said, 2001 01:13:34,309 --> 01:13:35,329 "Where's Straw Girl?" 2002 01:13:38,456 --> 01:13:39,791 I made an impression, 2003 01:13:39,792 --> 01:13:41,126 I'm sure. 2004 01:13:42,002 --> 01:13:44,129 Jane, I'm really into you. 2005 01:13:44,171 --> 01:13:45,547 And if you wanna get 2006 01:13:45,548 --> 01:13:46,923 out of here, I mean... 2007 01:13:46,965 --> 01:13:48,508 Miss Erstwhile? 2008 01:13:49,259 --> 01:13:50,677 Shall we? 2009 01:13:53,054 --> 01:13:54,181 (MOUTHING) 2010 01:14:11,323 --> 01:14:13,033 (CLASSICAL MUSIC PLAYING) 2011 01:14:18,955 --> 01:14:19,978 Shall we? 2012 01:14:19,979 --> 01:14:20,999 Yes. 2013 01:14:27,547 --> 01:14:28,631 You're stunning. 2014 01:14:28,673 --> 01:14:29,674 Really? 2015 01:14:48,568 --> 01:14:50,362 You all right? 2016 01:14:50,404 --> 01:14:52,176 I'm fine. And you? 2017 01:14:52,177 --> 01:14:53,948 Are you having fun? 2018 01:14:53,990 --> 01:14:55,597 I'm taking 2019 01:14:55,598 --> 01:14:57,202 an inordinate amount of 2020 01:14:53,990 --> 01:14:57,202 pleasure from this evening. 2021 01:14:57,244 --> 01:14:58,746 MISS CHARMING: You're so 2022 01:14:58,747 --> 01:15:00,247 light on your feet, 2023 01:14:57,244 --> 01:15:00,247 you look like a nutcracker. 2024 01:15:02,165 --> 01:15:03,521 But none of it 2025 01:15:03,522 --> 01:15:04,876 from the ball. 2026 01:15:04,918 --> 01:15:06,044 I think you just 2027 01:15:06,045 --> 01:15:07,170 complimented me. 2028 01:15:07,212 --> 01:15:08,213 Jane, I need to 2029 01:15:08,214 --> 01:15:09,214 tell you something. 2030 01:15:09,256 --> 01:15:11,216 - I'm not meant to say - or do these things, 2031 01:15:11,258 --> 01:15:12,572 My aunt would kill me, 2032 01:15:12,573 --> 01:15:13,885 but... 2033 01:15:13,927 --> 01:15:15,470 You are my sun and my moon. 2034 01:15:15,511 --> 01:15:18,056 My earth and my stars. 2035 01:15:18,098 --> 01:15:19,474 Marry me. 2036 01:15:19,515 --> 01:15:21,246 Marry you? Oh, my God, 2037 01:15:21,247 --> 01:15:22,977 of course I will. 2038 01:15:24,062 --> 01:15:25,230 Oh, God, I love you. 2039 01:15:25,231 --> 01:15:26,398 I love you. 2040 01:15:26,440 --> 01:15:27,962 You make me 2041 01:15:27,963 --> 01:15:29,484 the happiest man alive, 2042 01:15:26,440 --> 01:15:29,484 dear Amelia, 2043 01:15:29,525 --> 01:15:32,070 if you'd be my wife. 2044 01:15:32,112 --> 01:15:33,821 Oh, George. 2045 01:15:38,243 --> 01:15:40,079 Jane. 2046 01:15:40,080 --> 01:15:41,913 Remember our first night? 2047 01:15:41,955 --> 01:15:43,603 Something about 2048 01:15:43,604 --> 01:15:45,250 bad first impressions 2049 01:15:41,955 --> 01:15:45,250 comes to mind. 2050 01:15:45,292 --> 01:15:46,397 I know your opinion 2051 01:15:46,398 --> 01:15:47,502 of me was horrible. 2052 01:15:47,543 --> 01:15:49,921 I was horrible. 2053 01:15:49,963 --> 01:15:51,381 I was nervous. 2054 01:15:51,423 --> 01:15:52,882 - I felt out of place - and I certainly 2055 01:15:52,924 --> 01:15:54,030 Didn't intend on 2056 01:15:54,031 --> 01:15:55,135 falling in love, but... 2057 01:15:55,593 --> 01:15:57,095 I have. 2058 01:15:57,137 --> 01:15:58,430 I can't imagine 2059 01:15:58,431 --> 01:15:59,722 leaving this place 2060 01:15:57,137 --> 01:15:59,722 without you. 2061 01:15:59,764 --> 01:16:01,745 Please, 2062 01:16:01,746 --> 01:16:03,726 tell me if I have any hope. 2063 01:16:06,396 --> 01:16:08,648 I didn't realize... 2064 01:16:08,689 --> 01:16:09,983 This is how I'd 2065 01:16:09,984 --> 01:16:11,276 feel at this part. 2066 01:16:11,985 --> 01:16:14,070 Feel what? 2067 01:16:18,116 --> 01:16:20,014 You were right, 2068 01:16:20,015 --> 01:16:21,911 this is a dangerous 2069 01:16:18,116 --> 01:16:21,911 kind of game. 2070 01:16:24,205 --> 01:16:26,458 I don't wanna play anymore. 2071 01:16:28,126 --> 01:16:29,669 What do you want? 2072 01:16:30,711 --> 01:16:32,380 I want something real. 2073 01:16:36,426 --> 01:16:37,511 Excuse me. 2074 01:16:38,386 --> 01:16:40,096 Excuse me. 2075 01:16:41,222 --> 01:16:42,890 Hey. 2076 01:16:42,932 --> 01:16:44,058 - Do you still - wanna get out of here? 2077 01:16:44,100 --> 01:16:45,185 Yeah. 2078 01:16:45,852 --> 01:16:47,145 Sorry. 2079 01:16:47,187 --> 01:16:48,313 Good night, Your Majesty. 2080 01:16:49,772 --> 01:16:51,379 I didn't think 2081 01:16:51,380 --> 01:16:52,984 I was touching you 2082 01:16:49,772 --> 01:16:52,984 inappropriately. 2083 01:16:53,026 --> 01:16:54,652 - Well, you did. - And if we're to be together, 2084 01:16:54,694 --> 01:16:55,904 You must never ever do 2085 01:16:55,905 --> 01:16:57,113 anything like that 2086 01:16:54,694 --> 01:16:57,113 ever again, 2087 01:16:57,155 --> 01:16:59,615 if we're to be together. 2088 01:16:59,657 --> 01:17:01,034 Even Prudence 2089 01:17:01,035 --> 01:17:02,410 is getting some. 2090 01:17:04,496 --> 01:17:06,039 (LAUGHING) 2091 01:17:09,917 --> 01:17:11,878 - Are you ready? - Yes. 2092 01:17:18,426 --> 01:17:20,325 So Wattlesbrook got Nobley 2093 01:17:20,326 --> 01:17:22,222 to propose to me tonight. 2094 01:17:22,263 --> 01:17:23,515 Yeah. Classic. 2095 01:17:23,557 --> 01:17:24,682 Yup. 2096 01:17:24,724 --> 01:17:25,850 Is that when you 2097 01:17:25,851 --> 01:17:26,976 walked out? Just... 2098 01:17:27,018 --> 01:17:29,396 Man, what a tart. 2099 01:17:29,437 --> 01:17:31,398 Ah. 2100 01:17:31,439 --> 01:17:33,505 I have to admit 2101 01:17:33,506 --> 01:17:35,569 his character was 2102 01:17:31,439 --> 01:17:35,569 pretty dreamy. 2103 01:17:36,319 --> 01:17:37,612 Yeah. 2104 01:17:38,446 --> 01:17:39,989 I wouldn't marry him. 2105 01:17:41,908 --> 01:17:43,139 Mainly because 2106 01:17:43,140 --> 01:17:44,369 he's got bad knees. 2107 01:17:44,411 --> 01:17:45,892 Did he mention his knees? 2108 01:17:45,893 --> 01:17:47,372 Bad knees? 2109 01:17:47,414 --> 01:17:49,332 - I'm an even bigger nerd - than I thought, though. 2110 01:17:49,374 --> 01:17:50,793 I mean, 2111 01:17:50,794 --> 01:17:52,210 there were actual moments 2112 01:17:52,252 --> 01:17:53,441 when I really did 2113 01:17:53,442 --> 01:17:54,629 believe it was real. 2114 01:17:54,670 --> 01:17:56,047 Don't feel bad. 2115 01:17:56,089 --> 01:17:57,236 I mean, 2116 01:17:57,237 --> 01:17:58,383 Wattlesbrook hires 2117 01:17:56,089 --> 01:17:58,383 the best actors around. 2118 01:17:58,425 --> 01:17:59,926 Yeah. 2119 01:18:01,010 --> 01:18:02,011 And... 2120 01:18:03,597 --> 01:18:05,328 Some of her clients, 2121 01:18:05,329 --> 01:18:07,058 you know, 2122 01:18:03,597 --> 01:18:07,058 aren't half bad either. 2123 01:18:10,728 --> 01:18:12,230 (SIGHS) 2124 01:18:12,272 --> 01:18:13,586 I'm so glad you're 2125 01:18:13,587 --> 01:18:14,899 outside of the fantasy. 2126 01:18:14,941 --> 01:18:16,234 Makes it easier to 2127 01:18:16,235 --> 01:18:17,527 walk away from it all. 2128 01:18:19,737 --> 01:18:21,448 - You know my - flight leaves tomorrow, 2129 01:18:21,489 --> 01:18:22,762 But I could see if 2130 01:18:22,763 --> 01:18:24,033 I could change it. 2131 01:18:24,075 --> 01:18:25,118 Stay a few extra 2132 01:18:25,119 --> 01:18:26,160 days in London. 2133 01:18:29,956 --> 01:18:31,395 That's an offer I... 2134 01:18:31,396 --> 01:18:32,833 I'm not gonna refuse. 2135 01:18:34,961 --> 01:18:37,589 I fancy seeing you in... 2136 01:18:37,631 --> 01:18:39,236 I don't know, 2137 01:18:39,237 --> 01:18:40,841 some trousers or... 2138 01:18:40,883 --> 01:18:42,594 Do you wear 2139 01:18:42,595 --> 01:18:44,304 anything less 1800s, ever? 2140 01:18:44,345 --> 01:18:45,680 Do you? 2141 01:18:45,721 --> 01:18:47,265 Yeah, I do the short shorts. 2142 01:18:47,266 --> 01:18:48,808 (LAUGHS) 2143 01:18:48,849 --> 01:18:50,435 - MRS. WATTLESBROOK: - Please bring 2144 01:18:48,849 --> 01:18:50,435 Soiled petticoats 2145 01:18:50,477 --> 01:18:51,603 and undergarments... 2146 01:18:51,645 --> 01:18:53,521 - Jane. - Lizzie. 2147 01:18:53,563 --> 01:18:55,273 Are you off? 2148 01:18:55,315 --> 01:18:58,151 I'm off. I'm packing up. 2149 01:18:58,192 --> 01:18:59,632 Hey, you know, 2150 01:18:59,633 --> 01:19:01,070 I wanted to say just... 2151 01:19:01,112 --> 01:19:02,405 Thanks for everything. 2152 01:19:02,447 --> 01:19:04,574 And I made this for you. 2153 01:19:05,659 --> 01:19:07,285 All the sewing we did. 2154 01:19:07,327 --> 01:19:09,954 That's beautiful. 2155 01:19:09,996 --> 01:19:11,727 I think she's way 2156 01:19:11,728 --> 01:19:13,458 prettier than me, 2157 01:19:09,996 --> 01:19:13,458 don't you think? 2158 01:19:13,500 --> 01:19:15,502 (LAUGHS) 2159 01:19:15,543 --> 01:19:16,920 That's really 2160 01:19:16,921 --> 01:19:18,296 great needlepoint. 2161 01:19:18,338 --> 01:19:19,610 So what are you 2162 01:19:19,611 --> 01:19:20,881 gonna do now? 2163 01:19:20,923 --> 01:19:23,426 I thought I would stay on 2164 01:19:23,468 --> 01:19:24,885 - and check out all - the new recruits. 2165 01:19:24,927 --> 01:19:26,304 You know, make sure that 2166 01:19:26,346 --> 01:19:28,139 all of them know that 2167 01:19:28,140 --> 01:19:29,932 Colonel Andrews is taken. 2168 01:19:29,974 --> 01:19:32,165 And then I thought I would 2169 01:19:32,166 --> 01:19:34,354 ask Miss Wattlesbrook 2170 01:19:34,395 --> 01:19:36,939 if I can buy the place. 2171 01:19:36,981 --> 01:19:38,232 You should. 2172 01:19:38,274 --> 01:19:40,234 I know. I think I should. 2173 01:19:40,276 --> 01:19:42,987 Lizzie, you know, I think... 2174 01:19:43,029 --> 01:19:44,134 I think that 2175 01:19:44,135 --> 01:19:45,239 Colonel Andrews... 2176 01:19:46,658 --> 01:19:48,160 I think he... 2177 01:19:48,161 --> 01:19:49,661 That he might be... 2178 01:19:54,832 --> 01:19:56,543 Perfect for you. 2179 01:19:57,210 --> 01:19:58,878 Jane, thank you. 2180 01:19:58,919 --> 01:20:00,504 I was so afraid 2181 01:20:00,505 --> 01:20:02,089 you were gonna say 2182 01:19:58,919 --> 01:20:02,089 you thought he was gay. 2183 01:20:03,466 --> 01:20:04,884 AMELIA: Adieu. 2184 01:20:05,926 --> 01:20:07,387 Farewell. 2185 01:20:08,054 --> 01:20:09,723 (LAUGHING) 2186 01:20:09,764 --> 01:20:11,829 God, that was 2187 01:20:11,830 --> 01:20:13,893 the best time so far. 2188 01:20:13,934 --> 01:20:15,936 Except for the eye gouging. 2189 01:20:15,978 --> 01:20:17,397 You're not British? 2190 01:20:17,438 --> 01:20:19,148 Yeah, I know, right? 2191 01:20:19,190 --> 01:20:21,234 Well, that's what two years 2192 01:20:21,235 --> 01:20:23,277 of private drama 2193 01:20:19,190 --> 01:20:23,277 tutoring will get you. 2194 01:20:23,319 --> 01:20:25,029 - You ended up - with Nobley, right? 2195 01:20:25,071 --> 01:20:26,260 He was such a bore, 2196 01:20:26,261 --> 01:20:27,448 but, you know... 2197 01:20:27,490 --> 01:20:28,554 He did a good job 2198 01:20:28,555 --> 01:20:29,617 of being into you. 2199 01:20:29,659 --> 01:20:30,869 He asked me to pretend 2200 01:20:30,870 --> 01:20:32,078 your cell phone was mine. 2201 01:20:33,829 --> 01:20:35,207 It's so sad when 2202 01:20:35,208 --> 01:20:36,583 the trip is over, but, 2203 01:20:36,624 --> 01:20:37,959 frankly, 2204 01:20:37,960 --> 01:20:39,293 I am dying for a massage. 2205 01:20:42,296 --> 01:20:43,757 My husband's old. 2206 01:20:45,258 --> 01:20:46,426 Very old. 2207 01:20:50,597 --> 01:20:51,682 And I trust you 2208 01:20:51,683 --> 01:20:52,766 discovered rewarding 2209 01:20:52,807 --> 01:20:53,871 romance with one 2210 01:20:53,872 --> 01:20:54,934 of the gentlemen? 2211 01:20:56,894 --> 01:20:58,501 Actually, 2212 01:20:58,502 --> 01:21:00,106 there was someone, 2213 01:21:00,147 --> 01:21:01,732 but not Mr. Nobley, 2214 01:21:01,733 --> 01:21:03,317 as you may have intended. 2215 01:21:04,485 --> 01:21:05,591 My dear, Henry was 2216 01:21:05,592 --> 01:21:06,696 never meant for you. 2217 01:21:06,738 --> 01:21:08,281 No, his job was to take care 2218 01:21:08,282 --> 01:21:09,824 of Lady Heartwright 2219 01:21:09,865 --> 01:21:11,367 until George East 2220 01:21:11,368 --> 01:21:12,868 finished his little show. 2221 01:21:12,910 --> 01:21:14,433 No, Martin was scripted 2222 01:21:14,434 --> 01:21:15,955 for you right from 2223 01:21:12,910 --> 01:21:15,955 the very beginning. 2224 01:21:18,792 --> 01:21:20,293 No, but he's... 2225 01:21:21,294 --> 01:21:22,295 Martin's a servant. 2226 01:21:23,797 --> 01:21:25,549 Well, 2227 01:21:25,550 --> 01:21:27,300 you've seen my servants. 2228 01:21:27,341 --> 01:21:29,240 I had to take him out 2229 01:21:29,241 --> 01:21:31,137 just for a little 2230 01:21:27,341 --> 01:21:31,137 while because things were 2231 01:21:32,012 --> 01:21:33,765 steaming up. 2232 01:21:33,807 --> 01:21:35,517 But I had every confidence 2233 01:21:35,518 --> 01:21:37,226 that he could woo you back. 2234 01:21:37,268 --> 01:21:38,311 And your timing 2235 01:21:38,312 --> 01:21:39,353 was very fortunate. 2236 01:21:39,395 --> 01:21:40,730 Most of the ladies just 2237 01:21:40,731 --> 01:21:42,064 get a litter of kittens. 2238 01:21:42,106 --> 01:21:44,900 The foal is the showstopper. 2239 01:21:45,526 --> 01:21:47,111 The foal? 2240 01:21:47,153 --> 01:21:48,613 I trust you would like 2241 01:21:48,614 --> 01:21:50,072 to be on your way, Jane? 2242 01:21:50,782 --> 01:21:52,116 More than ever. 2243 01:21:52,158 --> 01:21:53,367 Are you upset? 2244 01:21:53,993 --> 01:21:55,578 No, not at all. 2245 01:21:55,620 --> 01:21:57,143 And please 2246 01:21:57,144 --> 01:21:58,665 don't take it personally 2247 01:21:55,620 --> 01:21:58,665 when I shut you down. 2248 01:21:58,706 --> 01:22:00,124 Shut me down? 2249 01:22:00,166 --> 01:22:01,542 I wasn't the first guest 2250 01:22:01,543 --> 01:22:02,918 Mr. Wattlesbrook assaulted, 2251 01:22:00,166 --> 01:22:02,918 was I? 2252 01:22:02,960 --> 01:22:04,379 I should be able to 2253 01:22:04,380 --> 01:22:05,797 find other complaints 2254 01:22:02,960 --> 01:22:05,797 in no time. 2255 01:22:05,839 --> 01:22:06,881 But... 2256 01:22:16,223 --> 01:22:17,975 - CAPTAIN EAST: - ♪ Bright eyes 2257 01:22:18,017 --> 01:22:19,748 ♪ Every now and then 2258 01:22:19,749 --> 01:22:21,479 I fall apart ♪ 2259 01:22:21,521 --> 01:22:23,815 Wow, Nobley, eh? 2260 01:22:23,857 --> 01:22:26,067 Tied your cravat just 2261 01:22:26,068 --> 01:22:28,277 a wee bit too tight, 2262 01:22:23,857 --> 01:22:28,277 didn't you? 2263 01:22:28,319 --> 01:22:29,404 To be honest, 2264 01:22:29,405 --> 01:22:30,488 I can't believe 2265 01:22:28,319 --> 01:22:30,488 you didn't get Jane. 2266 01:22:30,530 --> 01:22:31,739 I mean, she was... 2267 01:22:31,740 --> 01:22:32,948 She was anyone's. 2268 01:22:34,408 --> 01:22:36,202 Whoa! (LAUGHING) 2269 01:22:47,463 --> 01:22:48,798 - Mad dog over there. - (TELEPHONE RINGS) 2270 01:22:50,424 --> 01:22:51,780 Colonel Andrews speaking. 2271 01:22:51,781 --> 01:22:53,135 Yes. 2272 01:22:53,177 --> 01:22:55,096 Yes, no. I'll tell 2273 01:22:55,097 --> 01:22:57,014 him right away. Yes. 2274 01:22:57,056 --> 01:22:59,246 Yes. Yes, 2275 01:22:59,247 --> 01:23:01,435 you have a good day. 2276 01:22:57,056 --> 01:23:01,435 Of course. Bye-bye. 2277 01:23:01,477 --> 01:23:02,645 Martin, 2278 01:23:02,646 --> 01:23:03,813 that was the old girl 2279 01:23:01,477 --> 01:23:03,813 back at the house. 2280 01:23:03,855 --> 01:23:05,523 - Appears you're - still on the clock. 2281 01:23:05,565 --> 01:23:07,713 You're to go to the airport 2282 01:23:07,714 --> 01:23:09,861 and smooth some 2283 01:23:05,565 --> 01:23:09,861 ruffled feathers pronto. 2284 01:23:11,445 --> 01:23:13,406 No rest for the gorgeous. 2285 01:23:17,618 --> 01:23:20,705 Hi. No luggage. No. 2286 01:23:26,836 --> 01:23:27,963 WOMAN: (ON PA) This is 2287 01:23:27,964 --> 01:23:29,088 a passenger announcement. 2288 01:23:29,129 --> 01:23:31,320 Can Jane Erstwhile 2289 01:23:31,321 --> 01:23:33,509 please report to 2290 01:23:29,129 --> 01:23:33,509 the information desk? 2291 01:23:33,551 --> 01:23:35,074 That's Jane Erstwhile 2292 01:23:35,075 --> 01:23:36,596 to the information desk. 2293 01:23:45,605 --> 01:23:47,022 Hi, I think they... 2294 01:23:47,064 --> 01:23:48,482 Jane. Hey. 2295 01:23:48,524 --> 01:23:50,318 I'm really sorry 2296 01:23:50,319 --> 01:23:52,111 you didn't know, okay? 2297 01:23:52,152 --> 01:23:53,509 I'd still like to 2298 01:23:53,510 --> 01:23:54,864 spend the night together. 2299 01:23:52,152 --> 01:23:54,864 Yeah? 2300 01:23:56,824 --> 01:23:58,826 You are an actor! 2301 01:23:59,619 --> 01:24:01,161 Hey. Hey, but... 2302 01:24:01,203 --> 01:24:02,560 But you're desperately 2303 01:24:02,561 --> 01:24:03,915 in love with me anyway? 2304 01:24:03,957 --> 01:24:05,500 And these sudden 2305 01:24:05,501 --> 01:24:07,042 passionate feelings that 2306 01:24:03,957 --> 01:24:07,042 sent you running after me 2307 01:24:07,084 --> 01:24:08,503 have nothing to do with 2308 01:24:08,504 --> 01:24:09,921 Mrs. Wattlesbrook's fear 2309 01:24:09,963 --> 01:24:11,464 - that I'm gonna report - her delinquent husband? 2310 01:24:11,505 --> 01:24:12,528 Of course not. Okay? 2311 01:24:12,529 --> 01:24:13,549 Right. 2312 01:24:13,591 --> 01:24:15,134 - I know it all seems shady, - but romances 2313 01:24:15,175 --> 01:24:16,907 Have bloomed on 2314 01:24:16,908 --> 01:24:18,638 stonier ground. 2315 01:24:18,679 --> 01:24:20,640 Did Wattlesbrook 2316 01:24:20,641 --> 01:24:22,600 write that line? 2317 01:24:18,679 --> 01:24:22,600 Because we know you didn't. 2318 01:24:22,642 --> 01:24:24,435 - Okay, she wrote the line. - Okay? 2319 01:24:22,642 --> 01:24:24,435 Right. 2320 01:24:24,477 --> 01:24:26,437 - But I'm the one - standing here saying it. 2321 01:24:26,479 --> 01:24:27,939 Jane! 2322 01:24:27,981 --> 01:24:29,149 Jolly good, the prefect's 2323 01:24:29,150 --> 01:24:30,316 here to save the day. 2324 01:24:30,357 --> 01:24:31,589 You can't believe 2325 01:24:31,590 --> 01:24:32,819 anything he's said. 2326 01:24:32,860 --> 01:24:34,091 I've only just 2327 01:24:34,092 --> 01:24:35,321 realized now that 2328 01:24:32,860 --> 01:24:35,321 Martin was assigned to you. 2329 01:24:35,362 --> 01:24:37,239 I know. I... Yeah. 2330 01:24:37,281 --> 01:24:38,616 She knows, so... 2331 01:24:38,658 --> 01:24:40,743 So, what are you doing here? 2332 01:24:40,785 --> 01:24:42,954 - It's just that - I don't think you understand 2333 01:24:42,996 --> 01:24:44,038 That I'm not 2334 01:24:44,039 --> 01:24:45,080 what you think I am. 2335 01:24:45,122 --> 01:24:46,186 I have fallen for you. 2336 01:24:46,187 --> 01:24:47,249 Right. 2337 01:24:47,291 --> 01:24:49,084 My aunt was an actor, sure. 2338 01:24:49,126 --> 01:24:50,878 She's an odd woman, I know, 2339 01:24:50,879 --> 01:24:52,630 but she was desperate. 2340 01:24:52,672 --> 01:24:54,256 - What I'm saying is - that your first week 2341 01:24:54,298 --> 01:24:55,967 - At the manor was - my first week, too. 2342 01:24:56,009 --> 01:24:57,593 I'm not an actor. 2343 01:24:57,635 --> 01:24:59,386 Don't listen to him, Janey. 2344 01:24:59,428 --> 01:25:00,972 Don't call me Janey! 2345 01:25:00,973 --> 01:25:02,515 You were paid to kiss me. 2346 01:25:02,556 --> 01:25:04,058 As far as you are concerned, 2347 01:25:04,059 --> 01:25:05,559 I am Miss Erstwhile. 2348 01:25:05,601 --> 01:25:06,624 I mean, 2349 01:25:06,625 --> 01:25:07,645 it's so embarrassing. 2350 01:25:07,687 --> 01:25:09,605 - What, do you keep - a supply of pregnant horses 2351 01:25:09,647 --> 01:25:11,482 - Just laying - around or something? 2352 01:25:11,524 --> 01:25:12,567 What? 2353 01:25:12,568 --> 01:25:13,609 You're not a vet! 2354 01:25:13,651 --> 01:25:15,277 - I did a biology - class at school. 2355 01:25:15,319 --> 01:25:16,570 - Come on, - you were acting, too. 2356 01:25:16,612 --> 01:25:18,155 - Look, before you go - and make your report, 2357 01:25:19,032 --> 01:25:20,658 You should know, gorgeous, 2358 01:25:22,035 --> 01:25:24,370 that what we had was real. 2359 01:25:24,411 --> 01:25:26,122 No, you didn't. 2360 01:25:26,123 --> 01:25:27,832 What we had was real. 2361 01:25:24,411 --> 01:25:27,832 Didn't we? 2362 01:25:27,874 --> 01:25:30,460 Surely you felt it 2363 01:25:30,461 --> 01:25:33,046 seeping through all 2364 01:25:27,874 --> 01:25:33,046 these costumes and pretense? 2365 01:25:33,087 --> 01:25:34,922 - He's still acting. - It's all part of his act. 2366 01:25:34,964 --> 01:25:36,757 - See the costume? - He's an actor. 2367 01:25:36,799 --> 01:25:38,467 - You're just jealous, - aren't you? 2368 01:25:38,509 --> 01:25:40,053 - Because my aunt - would rather bring in 2369 01:25:40,094 --> 01:25:41,221 A complete novice 2370 01:25:41,222 --> 01:25:42,346 than move some 2371 01:25:42,388 --> 01:25:43,619 Kiwi actor up 2372 01:25:43,620 --> 01:25:44,849 to the big house. 2373 01:25:44,891 --> 01:25:46,225 You're not British either? 2374 01:25:46,266 --> 01:25:47,476 - It's part of - the Commonwealth. 2375 01:25:47,518 --> 01:25:49,020 - Couldn't you get - a job on The Hobbit? 2376 01:25:49,062 --> 01:25:50,730 That's it, Shakespeare. 2377 01:25:50,771 --> 01:25:51,772 No! 2378 01:25:52,690 --> 01:25:54,358 You guys. 2379 01:25:54,400 --> 01:25:55,526 Just... Don't actually, 2380 01:25:55,527 --> 01:25:56,652 actually strangle him. 2381 01:25:56,694 --> 01:25:58,071 Okay. All right, all right. 2382 01:25:58,112 --> 01:25:59,530 Take that, England. 2383 01:25:59,572 --> 01:26:01,032 Careful of my shirt! 2384 01:26:01,074 --> 01:26:02,616 That's my foot! 2385 01:26:02,658 --> 01:26:04,327 Okay, okay. 2386 01:26:04,328 --> 01:26:05,995 No, no, no. I'm... 2387 01:26:06,037 --> 01:26:07,413 Stop! No. 2388 01:26:07,454 --> 01:26:09,456 No! It is over. 2389 01:26:09,457 --> 01:26:11,458 I am done with all of this! 2390 01:26:13,335 --> 01:26:14,816 That felt good. 2391 01:26:14,817 --> 01:26:16,296 I should have done that 2392 01:26:13,335 --> 01:26:16,296 a long time ago. 2393 01:26:16,338 --> 01:26:17,673 Yeah. 2394 01:26:18,173 --> 01:26:20,300 Excuse me. 2395 01:26:20,342 --> 01:26:22,011 Did you hear that, England? 2396 01:26:22,053 --> 01:26:26,140 I am officially over it! 2397 01:26:26,181 --> 01:26:27,621 WOMAN: (ON PA) Southwest 2398 01:26:27,622 --> 01:26:29,060 Airlines flight SA435 2399 01:26:26,181 --> 01:26:29,060 now boarding at Gate 20. 2400 01:26:29,102 --> 01:26:30,477 That's my cue to exit. 2401 01:26:30,519 --> 01:26:31,979 Boys, 2402 01:26:32,021 --> 01:26:34,732 it has been a pleasure. 2403 01:26:34,774 --> 01:26:36,546 Thank you for 2404 01:26:36,547 --> 01:26:38,318 that and I'm sorry. 2405 01:26:38,360 --> 01:26:40,739 Look, Jane, Jane, Jane, 2406 01:26:40,740 --> 01:26:43,116 wait, wait. 2407 01:26:38,360 --> 01:26:43,116 Hey, I never lied to you. 2408 01:26:46,326 --> 01:26:47,870 It doesn't even matter 2409 01:26:47,871 --> 01:26:49,413 that you weren't real. 2410 01:26:49,455 --> 01:26:53,208 You were perfect. Thank you. 2411 01:26:59,006 --> 01:27:02,802 ♪ Somewhere there's a light 2412 01:27:03,970 --> 01:27:06,139 ♪ That meets 2413 01:27:06,140 --> 01:27:08,307 a shoreless tide 2414 01:27:09,433 --> 01:27:12,937 ♪ But I guess I'm resigned 2415 01:27:14,521 --> 01:27:18,192 ♪ To never seeing mine 2416 01:27:19,735 --> 01:27:23,489 ♪ I never lied 2417 01:27:24,907 --> 01:27:28,452 ♪ All these teenage dreams 2418 01:27:30,163 --> 01:27:34,167 ♪ Put them all aside 2419 01:27:35,084 --> 01:27:38,796 ♪ They hurt like kryptonite 2420 01:28:00,526 --> 01:28:03,321 ♪ And you lost 2421 01:28:03,322 --> 01:28:06,115 a piece of me ♪ 2422 01:28:06,157 --> 01:28:07,200 Hello to you, too. 2423 01:28:07,201 --> 01:28:08,242 MOLLY: You're back? 2424 01:28:08,283 --> 01:28:09,660 I'm coming over. 2425 01:28:09,702 --> 01:28:11,037 - All right, - I'll see you in a minute. 2426 01:28:40,858 --> 01:28:42,651 (KNOCKING ON DOOR) 2427 01:28:42,693 --> 01:28:45,071 That was quick. Come on in. 2428 01:28:45,779 --> 01:28:47,073 (TEAPOT WHISTLING) 2429 01:28:52,078 --> 01:28:54,496 Do you want some tea? 2430 01:28:54,538 --> 01:28:55,748 Love a cup, thank you. 2431 01:28:57,499 --> 01:28:59,168 What are you doing here? 2432 01:29:00,253 --> 01:29:01,795 Well... 2433 01:29:05,091 --> 01:29:06,341 You left this. 2434 01:29:10,054 --> 01:29:11,513 Thanks. 2435 01:29:13,015 --> 01:29:14,767 You could've mailed it. 2436 01:29:16,810 --> 01:29:18,229 I... 2437 01:29:19,939 --> 01:29:21,315 I could have. 2438 01:29:23,067 --> 01:29:24,401 You're right. 2439 01:29:25,819 --> 01:29:27,487 What was I thinking? 2440 01:29:35,621 --> 01:29:37,706 Wait a minute. Hey. 2441 01:29:39,292 --> 01:29:40,689 You know, I'm not 2442 01:29:40,690 --> 01:29:42,086 gonna report your aunt. 2443 01:29:42,128 --> 01:29:43,630 So it was a little overkill 2444 01:29:43,631 --> 01:29:45,131 to send you 2445 01:29:42,128 --> 01:29:45,131 all the way here. 2446 01:29:45,881 --> 01:29:47,841 She didn't send me. 2447 01:29:47,883 --> 01:29:49,823 Mr. Nobley, 2448 01:29:49,824 --> 01:29:51,762 or whoever you actually are. 2449 01:29:51,804 --> 01:29:53,097 My name is Henry. 2450 01:29:54,514 --> 01:29:56,225 It's Henry Nobley. 2451 01:29:56,267 --> 01:29:57,373 I'm a history professor. 2452 01:29:57,374 --> 01:29:58,477 Oh. 2453 01:30:01,021 --> 01:30:02,481 That's really nice. 2454 01:30:02,522 --> 01:30:04,338 I used to think 2455 01:30:04,339 --> 01:30:06,152 my aunt's profession 2456 01:30:02,522 --> 01:30:06,152 was somewhat grotesque, 2457 01:30:06,193 --> 01:30:07,445 but the truth 2458 01:30:07,446 --> 01:30:08,695 is that I enjoyed 2459 01:30:06,193 --> 01:30:08,695 stepping into history. 2460 01:30:08,737 --> 01:30:10,177 The idea of 2461 01:30:10,178 --> 01:30:11,615 a simpler world where 2462 01:30:11,657 --> 01:30:13,033 love is straightforward 2463 01:30:13,034 --> 01:30:14,409 and lasting. 2464 01:30:14,451 --> 01:30:16,329 - I believe we have - that in common. 2465 01:30:17,997 --> 01:30:19,082 But all of this is 2466 01:30:19,083 --> 01:30:20,166 secondary to the fact 2467 01:30:20,207 --> 01:30:21,855 that I am 2468 01:30:21,856 --> 01:30:23,502 completely mad about you. 2469 01:30:24,378 --> 01:30:25,921 All right. Well you 2470 01:30:25,963 --> 01:30:27,465 may have been mad 2471 01:30:27,466 --> 01:30:28,966 about Miss Erstwhile, but... 2472 01:30:29,008 --> 01:30:31,593 You don't even know me. I... 2473 01:30:31,635 --> 01:30:34,180 You are Miss Erstwhile. 2474 01:30:34,221 --> 01:30:35,452 I saw you in the theatrical. 2475 01:30:35,453 --> 01:30:36,682 You were horrifying. 2476 01:30:36,723 --> 01:30:38,705 Wait a minute. 2477 01:30:38,706 --> 01:30:40,686 You were horrifying. 2478 01:30:36,723 --> 01:30:40,686 I was... 2479 01:30:40,727 --> 01:30:41,895 I wasn't great. 2480 01:30:41,937 --> 01:30:43,105 My point exactly. 2481 01:30:43,147 --> 01:30:44,482 Neither one of us are 2482 01:30:44,483 --> 01:30:45,816 capable of pretending. 2483 01:30:45,858 --> 01:30:47,567 - Nobley, I just - don't think this is a... 2484 01:30:47,609 --> 01:30:49,173 The night of the ball, 2485 01:30:49,174 --> 01:30:50,737 you said 2486 01:30:47,609 --> 01:30:50,737 you wanted something real. 2487 01:30:50,779 --> 01:30:52,698 - I'd like to - believe that I am real. 2488 01:30:53,782 --> 01:30:56,369 Is it possible that 2489 01:30:56,410 --> 01:30:58,371 - someone like me - can make you happy? 2490 01:30:59,830 --> 01:31:01,290 Will you let me try? 2491 01:31:07,462 --> 01:31:08,922 - No. See, - people don't do this. 2492 01:31:08,964 --> 01:31:10,195 I mean, this is my fantasy. 2493 01:31:10,196 --> 01:31:11,425 This isn't... 2494 01:31:11,466 --> 01:31:12,676 - Have you stopped - to consider that 2495 01:31:12,718 --> 01:31:14,678 - You might have - this all backward? 2496 01:31:14,720 --> 01:31:16,222 Jane... 2497 01:31:17,764 --> 01:31:19,892 You are my fantasy. 2498 01:31:34,073 --> 01:31:35,574 Tally-ho. 2499 01:31:36,491 --> 01:31:37,910 Tally-ho. 2500 01:32:06,146 --> 01:32:09,400 Welcome to Austenland. 2501 01:32:11,068 --> 01:32:13,404 (MUSIC PLAYING) 2502 01:32:13,446 --> 01:32:15,282 Hello, everybody. 2503 01:32:15,283 --> 01:32:17,116 Enjoy yourselves. 2504 01:32:18,909 --> 01:32:21,661 Oh, my goodness. Hello. 2505 01:32:25,749 --> 01:32:28,127 Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa. 2506 01:32:28,168 --> 01:32:29,879 ♪ If you lived in 2507 01:32:29,880 --> 01:32:31,588 a world of love 2508 01:32:31,630 --> 01:32:32,798 ♪ Would you forget 2509 01:32:32,799 --> 01:32:33,966 who you were? 2510 01:32:34,007 --> 01:32:36,114 ♪ Before you get taken in 2511 01:32:36,115 --> 01:32:38,220 by a sight of hand 2512 01:32:38,262 --> 01:32:40,369 ♪ You've got to 2513 01:32:40,370 --> 01:32:42,475 watch your step 2514 01:32:38,262 --> 01:32:42,475 In Austenland 2515 01:32:46,895 --> 01:32:48,106 Move, move, move! 2516 01:32:48,107 --> 01:32:49,315 Movey, move! 2517 01:32:49,356 --> 01:32:51,046 Honey, honey. 2518 01:32:51,047 --> 01:32:52,734 No touchy, no touchy. 2519 01:32:52,776 --> 01:32:54,361 (CRASHING) 2520 01:32:54,403 --> 01:32:55,988 Georgie. 2521 01:32:56,029 --> 01:32:57,572 Georgie! 2522 01:32:58,532 --> 01:33:00,451 Get off it. 2523 01:33:02,744 --> 01:33:04,184 I love you, 2524 01:33:04,185 --> 01:33:05,622 Captain! Georgie! 2525 01:33:07,916 --> 01:33:09,439 ♪ "I know 2526 01:33:09,440 --> 01:33:10,961 I feel that way too" 2527 01:33:12,505 --> 01:33:14,507 That's a very sexy bonnet. 2528 01:33:14,548 --> 01:33:16,008 Knob off. 2529 01:33:22,515 --> 01:33:24,246 and we lost 2530 01:33:24,247 --> 01:33:25,976 the whole thing because... 2531 01:33:22,515 --> 01:33:25,976 Just leave me alone! 2532 01:33:26,018 --> 01:33:28,603 This is truly my fantasy. 2533 01:33:31,023 --> 01:33:32,754 ♪ You can bend your soul 2534 01:33:32,755 --> 01:33:34,485 bend your back, your heart 2535 01:33:34,527 --> 01:33:36,716 ♪ So if you're gonna play 2536 01:33:36,717 --> 01:33:38,905 then you better play hard 2537 01:33:42,576 --> 01:33:43,703 ♪ Austenland 2538 01:33:43,704 --> 01:33:44,828 won't you come 2539 01:33:44,870 --> 01:33:47,414 ♪ Where the sun shines 2540 01:33:47,415 --> 01:33:49,958 on your face? 2541 01:33:50,000 --> 01:33:52,691 ♪ Austenland 2542 01:33:52,692 --> 01:33:55,381 take your dancing partner 2543 01:33:50,000 --> 01:33:55,381 by the waist 2544 01:33:57,341 --> 01:33:58,488 ♪ Oh, with your heart 2545 01:33:58,489 --> 01:33:59,634 in your hand 2546 01:33:59,676 --> 01:34:02,096 ♪ Now you try and catch 2547 01:34:02,097 --> 01:34:04,515 her gaze and say 2548 01:33:59,676 --> 01:34:04,515 "Who, me?" 2549 01:34:04,557 --> 01:34:05,976 ♪ "I know 2550 01:34:05,977 --> 01:34:07,393 I feel that way too" ♪ 2551 01:34:10,312 --> 01:34:11,897 (HOT IN HERE PLAYING) 2552 01:34:15,484 --> 01:34:17,361 - ♪ Come on, a little bit - of hot, hot 2553 01:34:17,403 --> 01:34:18,820 - ♪ And a little bit - of hot, hot 2554 01:34:21,948 --> 01:34:23,409 ♪ Just a little bit of 2555 01:34:24,743 --> 01:34:26,453 ♪ Just a little bit of 2556 01:34:26,495 --> 01:34:28,205 ♪ Just a little bit of 2557 01:34:28,247 --> 01:34:29,895 ♪ I was like, good gracious, 2558 01:34:29,896 --> 01:34:31,542 ass is bodacious 2559 01:34:31,584 --> 01:34:32,626 ♪ Flirtatious, 2560 01:34:32,627 --> 01:34:33,668 trying to show faces 2561 01:34:33,710 --> 01:34:34,836 ♪ I'm waiting for 2562 01:34:34,837 --> 01:34:35,962 the right time to shoot 2563 01:34:33,710 --> 01:34:35,962 my steez you know 2564 01:34:36,004 --> 01:34:37,277 ♪ Waiting for the right 2565 01:34:37,278 --> 01:34:38,549 time to flash them ki's, 2566 01:34:38,591 --> 01:34:39,821 ♪ I'm leaving, 2567 01:34:39,822 --> 01:34:41,051 please believing 2568 01:34:41,093 --> 01:34:42,886 - ♪ Me and the rest - of my heathens 2569 01:34:42,928 --> 01:34:43,992 ♪ Check it, 2570 01:34:43,993 --> 01:34:45,055 got it locked at the 2571 01:34:42,928 --> 01:34:45,055 top of the Four Seasons 2572 01:34:45,097 --> 01:34:46,244 ♪ Penthouse, roof top, 2573 01:34:46,245 --> 01:34:47,391 birds I'm feeding 2574 01:34:47,433 --> 01:34:48,685 ♪ No deceiving, 2575 01:34:48,686 --> 01:34:49,935 nothing up my sleeve and 2576 01:34:49,976 --> 01:34:51,895 ♪ No teasing I need you to 2577 01:34:51,937 --> 01:34:53,084 ♪ Get up up 2578 01:34:53,085 --> 01:34:54,231 on the dance floor 2579 01:34:54,273 --> 01:34:55,420 ♪ Give that man 2580 01:34:55,421 --> 01:34:56,567 what he asking for 2581 01:34:56,609 --> 01:34:58,444 - ♪ 'Cause I feel - like busting loose 2582 01:34:58,485 --> 01:34:59,841 ♪ And I feel like 2583 01:34:59,842 --> 01:35:01,196 touching you 2584 01:35:01,238 --> 01:35:03,115 - ♪ And can't nobody - stop the juice 2585 01:35:03,156 --> 01:35:04,824 - ♪ So baby tell me - what's the use? 2586 01:35:04,866 --> 01:35:06,264 ♪ I said 2587 01:35:06,265 --> 01:35:07,661 It's getting hot in here 2588 01:35:07,702 --> 01:35:09,016 ♪ So take off 2589 01:35:09,017 --> 01:35:10,330 all your clothes 2590 01:35:07,702 --> 01:35:10,330 ♪ So hot 2591 01:35:10,372 --> 01:35:12,792 ♪ I am getting so hot 2592 01:35:12,793 --> 01:35:15,210 I wanna take my clothes off 2593 01:35:15,252 --> 01:35:17,129 ♪ It's getting hot in here 2594 01:35:17,170 --> 01:35:18,402 ♪ So take off 2595 01:35:18,403 --> 01:35:19,632 all your clothes 2596 01:35:17,170 --> 01:35:19,632 ♪ So hot 2597 01:35:19,673 --> 01:35:22,051 ♪ I am getting so hot 2598 01:35:22,052 --> 01:35:24,428 I wanna take my clothes off 2599 01:35:24,470 --> 01:35:26,179 - ♪ I like it when you - ♪ Ah, ah 2600 01:35:26,221 --> 01:35:27,889 - ♪ Girl, baby make it - ♪ Ah, ah ♪