1 00:00:02,400 --> 00:00:03,719 Oh, my God... 2 00:00:03,920 --> 00:00:09,233 ...it's full-on double rainbow all the way across the sky! 3 00:00:09,840 --> 00:00:11,637 Whoa! 4 00:00:11,840 --> 00:00:14,274 Oh, my God! Oh, my God! 5 00:00:14,480 --> 00:00:17,040 Oh! Oh, my God! 6 00:00:17,280 --> 00:00:19,635 Whoo! 7 00:00:19,840 --> 00:00:21,637 What does this mean? 8 00:00:22,920 --> 00:00:25,354 It's so bright. 9 00:00:25,560 --> 00:00:27,755 Oh, my God, it's so bright and vivid. 10 00:00:28,000 --> 00:00:30,560 It's starting to look like a triple rainbow. 11 00:00:30,800 --> 00:00:32,358 Oh! 12 00:00:35,080 --> 00:00:37,150 Going streaking across the quad! 13 00:00:45,160 --> 00:00:46,832 Coochie, coochie, coochie! 14 00:00:50,880 --> 00:00:53,633 Yeah. No, I know. Uh-huh. 15 00:00:53,840 --> 00:00:56,308 No, I'm not. I'm not. No, I'm paying attention. 16 00:00:56,720 --> 00:00:59,109 Mom, I'm listening. Just talk. 17 00:00:59,480 --> 00:01:01,789 - Tyrone. - Are you going trick-or-treating? 18 00:01:02,040 --> 00:01:03,553 - No, because... - Pow! 19 00:02:08,640 --> 00:02:10,915 I'm in the car. I'm literally in the car. 20 00:02:11,120 --> 00:02:12,553 David, hey. David Clark. 21 00:02:12,760 --> 00:02:13,829 Rick Nathanson. 22 00:02:14,720 --> 00:02:17,712 - Uh, I'm sorry. - Little Ricky. We went to college together. 23 00:02:18,040 --> 00:02:19,632 Oh, shit. Hey, dude. 24 00:02:19,840 --> 00:02:23,276 We all took ecstasy at Dave Matthews one time and I tried to kiss you. 25 00:02:24,080 --> 00:02:25,832 That's right. I remember that. Yeah. 26 00:02:26,120 --> 00:02:27,155 Yeah. "Crash. " 27 00:02:27,360 --> 00:02:28,429 Yup. 28 00:02:28,640 --> 00:02:31,552 Wow. I didn't recognize you. You look very different. 29 00:02:31,760 --> 00:02:33,876 I've gained a little bit of daddy weight. 30 00:02:34,080 --> 00:02:35,479 You know the drill. 31 00:02:35,680 --> 00:02:37,238 Actually, I don't, no. 32 00:02:37,880 --> 00:02:40,997 - No way. No way! Still a free agent. - Mm. 33 00:02:41,200 --> 00:02:44,351 You son of a bitch! You lucky son of a bitch. 34 00:02:44,600 --> 00:02:48,513 You lucky, lucky son of a bitch. Wow, that's amazing. Wow. 35 00:02:49,640 --> 00:02:52,074 Here. For old times' sake, huh? 36 00:02:52,960 --> 00:02:54,029 For daddy stress. 37 00:02:55,080 --> 00:02:56,399 You're still dealing weed? 38 00:02:56,920 --> 00:02:58,433 Best in Denver. 39 00:02:59,280 --> 00:03:01,316 That's fucking awesome. Oh, my God. 40 00:03:02,320 --> 00:03:03,435 That is so cool. 41 00:03:03,640 --> 00:03:05,358 - You're still at it. - Yeah. 42 00:03:05,560 --> 00:03:07,630 - I envy you, man. I do. - Ah. 43 00:03:07,840 --> 00:03:10,513 Look at you. No wife, no kids. 44 00:03:10,760 --> 00:03:12,079 - No responsibilities. - Mm-hm. 45 00:03:12,280 --> 00:03:14,555 Pfft, nothing. You got nothing. 46 00:03:14,760 --> 00:03:17,149 You could disappear tomorrow and who'd even know? 47 00:03:18,240 --> 00:03:19,912 - Oh, what I wouldn't give. - Yeah. 48 00:03:20,120 --> 00:03:22,350 Oh, hey, I didn't mean that in like, I mean... 49 00:03:22,560 --> 00:03:25,199 No. It's all right. It doesn't bother me. It's all right. 50 00:03:25,840 --> 00:03:27,592 - Great seeing you. - Great seeing you. 51 00:03:27,800 --> 00:03:29,358 Okay, bud, I believe in you. 52 00:03:29,600 --> 00:03:31,397 - Hey, David? - Yeah? 53 00:03:31,880 --> 00:03:34,235 - Facebook me. We'll get weird. - I don't think so. 54 00:03:34,480 --> 00:03:37,233 - Ha, ha! Get out of here. - Good luck with the family. 55 00:03:39,120 --> 00:03:40,792 Oh, fuck. Fuck me. Fuck. Hey, great news. 56 00:03:41,000 --> 00:03:42,911 We're gonna get high and fuck tonight. 57 00:03:43,120 --> 00:03:45,395 I'm sorry, honey. Put Mommy on the phone, okay? 58 00:04:00,640 --> 00:04:04,315 I'm-a take my skirt, boot, rings All off 59 00:04:04,520 --> 00:04:07,876 Skirt, boots, rings All off 60 00:04:08,080 --> 00:04:11,117 Ooh, baby, you so bad, boy Drive me mad, boy 61 00:04:11,320 --> 00:04:13,390 You don't care what they Say about me 62 00:04:13,640 --> 00:04:17,394 Girl is a problem Girl is a problem, problem 63 00:04:25,440 --> 00:04:26,793 Wow. 64 00:04:27,000 --> 00:04:29,719 - You dance super good. - Thanks. 65 00:04:29,920 --> 00:04:31,990 I'm Kymberly. With a Y. 66 00:04:33,440 --> 00:04:35,510 I'm Rose. With an R. 67 00:04:36,200 --> 00:04:37,792 Is that your stage name? 68 00:04:38,040 --> 00:04:39,871 - My what? - Your stage name. 69 00:04:40,080 --> 00:04:43,311 To protect yourself from the creeps out there. You should pick one. 70 00:04:43,520 --> 00:04:48,389 You know, something simple but sexy and cute and short, maybe. 71 00:04:48,640 --> 00:04:51,074 - Do you have a nickname? - Totally! 72 00:04:51,280 --> 00:04:52,508 Great. Use that, because... 73 00:04:52,720 --> 00:04:54,631 I even got a tattoo of it. Do you wanna see? 74 00:04:54,840 --> 00:04:55,909 Uh, well, n... 75 00:04:56,120 --> 00:04:57,314 Check it out. 76 00:04:57,560 --> 00:05:01,075 "Boner Garage. " Oh, whoa. 77 00:05:01,320 --> 00:05:03,038 You got a little arrow there even. 78 00:05:03,280 --> 00:05:04,998 Is that not like the hottest? 79 00:05:05,240 --> 00:05:07,231 Boner Garage, you're up. 80 00:05:07,440 --> 00:05:11,558 Oh, look at that. So excited and full of life. That'll fade. 81 00:05:11,760 --> 00:05:14,671 Hey, Rose. I know you're "technically" on break, 82 00:05:15,002 --> 00:05:17,303 but I need a lap dance. Table five. 83 00:05:17,338 --> 00:05:19,673 Just don't get too close. The guy has two hook hands. 84 00:05:21,160 --> 00:05:22,718 How did we let that guy back in here? 85 00:05:23,160 --> 00:05:25,390 Must have picked the locks. Ha, ha! 86 00:05:53,680 --> 00:05:54,874 How was work this evening? 87 00:05:55,120 --> 00:05:56,189 What do you care? 88 00:05:56,400 --> 00:05:57,515 I'm just asking. 89 00:05:57,720 --> 00:05:58,948 Oh, just don't. 90 00:05:59,280 --> 00:06:01,191 Fine. Well, is your dummy boyfriend around? 91 00:06:01,400 --> 00:06:03,709 No. Jimmy's with his parents. Why? 92 00:06:03,960 --> 00:06:06,793 Well, because Jimmy still owes me 400 bucks, so... 93 00:06:07,360 --> 00:06:09,430 Maybe you shouldn't loan drugs to people. 94 00:06:10,360 --> 00:06:12,351 - All right. Good tip. - Mm-hm. 95 00:06:13,280 --> 00:06:16,431 I was thinking is that maybe you could help him out, settle his debt. 96 00:06:17,360 --> 00:06:20,750 - Not a fucking chance. - You'd be doing me a solid, neighbor. 97 00:06:20,960 --> 00:06:23,394 Oh, really? Neighbor? You're not a neighbor. 98 00:06:23,600 --> 00:06:26,592 You're a drug dealer whose apartment smells like cheese and feet. 99 00:06:26,800 --> 00:06:29,678 Mm. Yeah, it's a candle I got from Anthropologie. 100 00:06:29,880 --> 00:06:32,758 Cheesy Feet. That's what they call it. It's a bestseller. 101 00:06:34,320 --> 00:06:36,709 Oh, Rose, got a piece of your mail here. 102 00:06:37,320 --> 00:06:40,756 I'd lend you some money, but we're not neighbors. 103 00:06:41,000 --> 00:06:42,194 Oh, you're such a dick! 104 00:06:43,360 --> 00:06:45,112 Have fun dying alone, jerk. 105 00:06:45,320 --> 00:06:47,629 Have fun digging out the singles from your crotch. 106 00:06:47,880 --> 00:06:49,598 My crotch only takes 20s, David. 107 00:06:54,080 --> 00:06:55,354 Hey, David. 108 00:06:55,600 --> 00:06:58,592 - Hi, Kenny. - I heard you and Mrs. O'Reilly fighting. 109 00:06:58,800 --> 00:07:01,837 It's called flirting, Kenny. You'll learn about it in college. 110 00:07:02,520 --> 00:07:05,034 What are you doing up? It's almost 2. Where's your mom? 111 00:07:05,240 --> 00:07:09,233 - Uh, she went for a drink. With a friend. - When? 112 00:07:09,920 --> 00:07:11,273 Last week. 113 00:07:11,480 --> 00:07:13,789 Uh, so I got the whole place to myself. 114 00:07:14,000 --> 00:07:16,719 Yeah. Rolling Han Solo for the weekend. 115 00:07:16,920 --> 00:07:18,876 Mm-hm. 116 00:07:19,120 --> 00:07:21,953 Um, speaking of rolling, I was wondering if... 117 00:07:22,160 --> 00:07:25,596 - I don't sell to kids, Kenny. - I'm 18. I'm gonna get my own place soon. 118 00:07:25,840 --> 00:07:26,875 Not a kid, David. 119 00:07:27,560 --> 00:07:30,028 Yeah, you are. Take care. 120 00:07:30,640 --> 00:07:32,835 Give me my fucking phone. 121 00:07:33,040 --> 00:07:35,952 - You guys are such assholes. - Hey, baby. 122 00:07:36,160 --> 00:07:37,388 Leave her alone. 123 00:07:37,640 --> 00:07:39,392 - Oh, I'm sorry, baby. - Unhand her. 124 00:07:40,560 --> 00:07:41,993 Hey, leave her alone. 125 00:07:43,800 --> 00:07:45,711 Goddamn it, Kenny. 126 00:07:45,920 --> 00:07:47,831 - Fucking tough guy, huh? - You don't have to... 127 00:07:48,040 --> 00:07:49,189 Hey! Hey, hey, hey. 128 00:07:49,440 --> 00:07:51,715 Easy, easy. What's going on here? 129 00:07:51,920 --> 00:07:55,959 - Mind your fucking business, old man. - Oh, my God. You're a dude. Ha, ha! 130 00:07:56,200 --> 00:07:59,556 That scared me. Your voice was so much deeper than your bone structure. 131 00:07:59,760 --> 00:08:01,751 These assholes are trying to steal my iPhone. 132 00:08:02,000 --> 00:08:04,036 You have an iPhone? Aren't you homeless? 133 00:08:04,240 --> 00:08:06,071 So? Fuck you, dude. 134 00:08:07,160 --> 00:08:09,037 Okay, this was fun. Carry on. 135 00:08:09,240 --> 00:08:10,878 - Come on, let's go. - What? No. 136 00:08:11,200 --> 00:08:13,316 These guys are picking on her and it's not fair. 137 00:08:13,520 --> 00:08:15,954 What you gonna do, white boy? You some type of hero? 138 00:08:16,160 --> 00:08:17,639 Not a hero. He's a dumb kid. 139 00:08:18,200 --> 00:08:21,715 I got an idea. Leave the girl alone. Just move along. Huh, what do you say? 140 00:08:22,000 --> 00:08:23,069 - "Move along"? - Yeah. 141 00:08:23,280 --> 00:08:26,750 - What are you, some kind of cop? - He's not a cop. He's actually really cool. 142 00:08:26,960 --> 00:08:28,188 - Thanks. - He's a drug dealer. 143 00:08:28,440 --> 00:08:30,556 - Really? - Goddamn it, Kenny. 144 00:08:30,760 --> 00:08:31,875 Give me your backpack. 145 00:08:32,080 --> 00:08:33,149 I don't wanna fight. 146 00:08:33,400 --> 00:08:36,836 Well, there's not gonna be a fight. See, you either give me the backpack... 147 00:08:37,040 --> 00:08:39,554 ...or I'm gonna stab you in the neck and take it. 148 00:08:41,160 --> 00:08:43,754 It's a real Sophie's choice here, huh? All right. 149 00:08:44,160 --> 00:08:45,275 Okay, backpack it is. 150 00:08:45,480 --> 00:08:46,549 If you wa... 151 00:08:49,080 --> 00:08:50,149 Run, Kenny! 152 00:08:52,400 --> 00:08:53,549 You're dead meat! 153 00:08:58,400 --> 00:09:02,313 Hey, sorry, I dropped my phone. Are we still going out tonight or what? 154 00:09:04,080 --> 00:09:05,718 Fucking shit! Shit! 155 00:09:08,440 --> 00:09:09,873 Oh, shit. 156 00:09:17,320 --> 00:09:18,958 Sorry. This is fucking dumb. 157 00:09:26,360 --> 00:09:28,157 Whoa-ho-ho, motherfucker. 158 00:09:29,080 --> 00:09:31,992 - We got you now. - Unh! 159 00:09:32,200 --> 00:09:35,272 - Do whatever's in the safe too. - Look at that. 160 00:09:35,480 --> 00:09:38,313 It's not even my money. If you take that my boss will kill me. 161 00:09:39,400 --> 00:09:42,358 You okay, David? I can help. I'll call the cops. 162 00:09:42,600 --> 00:09:43,999 No, I'm okay. 163 00:09:59,800 --> 00:10:00,835 Hey! 164 00:10:01,480 --> 00:10:03,277 Whoa, what the...! Unh! 165 00:10:03,480 --> 00:10:05,471 When Mr. Brad calls, you answer! Get in there! 166 00:10:14,480 --> 00:10:17,517 Please don't tell me where we're going. I love surprises. 167 00:10:18,280 --> 00:10:20,350 - All right. Okay. - Can I help you? 168 00:10:20,560 --> 00:10:22,676 Hi. You ordered two black guys. 169 00:10:22,880 --> 00:10:24,836 Oh. Okay. This guy. 170 00:10:25,040 --> 00:10:27,349 No. David Clark here to see Mr. Gurdlinger, please? 171 00:10:27,600 --> 00:10:29,909 I'll tell him you're here. Can I get you something? 172 00:10:30,120 --> 00:10:31,917 Coffee. Tea. Fresca. 173 00:10:32,120 --> 00:10:33,155 Hmm. 174 00:10:33,400 --> 00:10:35,789 You know what, a Fresca sounds really good. 175 00:10:36,000 --> 00:10:37,319 - You got it. - Appreciate it. 176 00:10:37,520 --> 00:10:39,954 Hold on one second. You guys want anything? It's on me. 177 00:10:40,200 --> 00:10:41,315 Replenishes electrolytes. 178 00:10:41,520 --> 00:10:44,193 Don't want you cramping up when you jerk each other off. 179 00:10:44,400 --> 00:10:45,469 Nice meeting you. 180 00:10:49,080 --> 00:10:50,308 Easy. 181 00:10:50,720 --> 00:10:52,358 Easy. Oof! 182 00:10:52,560 --> 00:10:54,869 Okay. I'm gonna hang out here if that's all right. 183 00:10:55,080 --> 00:10:57,116 Oh, thank you for that. That's very helpful. 184 00:10:57,320 --> 00:11:00,073 Oh! David Clark. 185 00:11:00,280 --> 00:11:03,238 You're a hard man to find. Take it easy on the plastic. 186 00:11:03,440 --> 00:11:05,749 Whoa, Brad, what the fuck is this? 187 00:11:06,600 --> 00:11:09,114 Look, man, I was gonna call you back. Do not kill me. 188 00:11:09,320 --> 00:11:11,436 - I got robbed, okay. I swear. - Whoa, whoa, whoa. 189 00:11:11,640 --> 00:11:12,755 What are you...? What...? 190 00:11:12,960 --> 00:11:13,995 Oh, the plastic? 191 00:11:14,280 --> 00:11:15,429 Yeah, the plastic. 192 00:11:15,640 --> 00:11:16,675 I've seen Dexter. 193 00:11:16,880 --> 00:11:21,476 Buddy, I'm putting in a new skylight, you idiot. Ha, ha. 194 00:11:21,960 --> 00:11:25,032 You should have seen your face just now. You shit a brick. 195 00:11:25,600 --> 00:11:27,352 Well, what am I supposed to think, man? 196 00:11:27,560 --> 00:11:30,358 You've got these thugs throwing a bag over my head. Come on. 197 00:11:30,720 --> 00:11:33,109 I'm sorry about that. I didn't mean to freak you out. 198 00:11:33,320 --> 00:11:36,312 - It's fine. - You do know I've killed people though? 199 00:11:36,960 --> 00:11:38,075 Yeah, Brad, I know. 200 00:11:38,280 --> 00:11:39,474 Ha-ha. All right, have a seat. 201 00:11:41,160 --> 00:11:42,593 Whoa, what the fuck is that? 202 00:11:42,840 --> 00:11:46,071 What? Oh, my orca? Yeah, I bought an orca. 203 00:11:47,720 --> 00:11:49,312 I make a lot of money. 204 00:11:50,800 --> 00:11:51,949 So you bought a whale? 205 00:11:52,160 --> 00:11:53,673 Well, I don't like sports cars. 206 00:11:53,880 --> 00:11:56,348 - Yeah, yeah. - So where's my money, David? 207 00:11:56,680 --> 00:11:59,148 Come on, man. We go back. 208 00:11:59,400 --> 00:12:01,356 We do go back. But it's not college anymore. 209 00:12:01,560 --> 00:12:03,596 We're not selling lids out of my dorm room. 210 00:12:03,800 --> 00:12:06,360 And you owe me $43,000. 211 00:12:06,560 --> 00:12:09,552 I told you, I got robbed, Brad. They took everything I had, man. 212 00:12:09,760 --> 00:12:12,832 This week's drop, 22 grand of my money that I'd saved. I'm fucked. 213 00:12:13,080 --> 00:12:18,154 Listen, this is a fucked-up situation. But I might have a win-win for both of us. 214 00:12:18,880 --> 00:12:21,440 - Great. - I have a smidge of very choice... 215 00:12:21,640 --> 00:12:23,312 ...mari-ju-ana down in Mexico... 216 00:12:23,520 --> 00:12:25,397 ...and I need it here by Sunday night. 217 00:12:25,600 --> 00:12:28,433 My regular courier is out because he got gunned down. 218 00:12:28,680 --> 00:12:29,908 That's where you come in. 219 00:12:30,360 --> 00:12:32,715 You could be my mule. I need someone I can trust. 220 00:12:32,920 --> 00:12:36,515 Go to Mexico, bring it back by Sunday night, not only will I forgive your debt... 221 00:12:36,720 --> 00:12:41,077 ...I will pay you a standard courier fee of $100,000. 222 00:12:41,320 --> 00:12:44,357 You're gonna give me 100 grand to move a smidge across the border? 223 00:12:45,240 --> 00:12:47,435 Smidge and a half. It's nothing. 224 00:12:47,640 --> 00:12:50,632 Dude, I got rolled by the fucking cast of Annie. 225 00:12:50,840 --> 00:12:54,389 I come walking in here and you ask me to be an international drug dealer. 226 00:12:54,600 --> 00:12:57,876 This is easy money, David. All you gotta do is pop down to Mexico... 227 00:12:58,080 --> 00:13:01,516 ...go to this address, tell them you're there to pick up for Pablo Chacon. 228 00:13:01,720 --> 00:13:03,836 - Who the fuck is Pablo Chacon? - I am. 229 00:13:07,080 --> 00:13:10,755 You don't get respect from Mexicans when your name is Brad Gurdlinger, right? 230 00:13:10,960 --> 00:13:15,511 I mean, that's white in any language. See? Big Bad Brad thought of everything. 231 00:13:18,200 --> 00:13:22,079 I don't know. I don't think so, man. This is way out of my league. 232 00:13:22,320 --> 00:13:23,673 It's a federal crime. 233 00:13:23,880 --> 00:13:27,793 If I try to cross the border with more than a pound, you're talking like, um... 234 00:13:28,960 --> 00:13:31,997 Twenty-five years in Mexican prison. If you get a happy judge. 235 00:13:32,240 --> 00:13:34,231 Yeah. Jeez. Not good. 236 00:13:34,440 --> 00:13:36,954 - Although, you're forgetting one thing. - What? 237 00:13:37,160 --> 00:13:39,515 You don't have a fucking choice. 238 00:13:42,680 --> 00:13:45,433 So now you're gonna become an even bigger drug dealer? 239 00:13:45,640 --> 00:13:47,995 Drug smuggler, Kenny. There's a difference. 240 00:13:51,600 --> 00:13:53,989 You're probably gonna get searched at the border. 241 00:13:54,640 --> 00:13:56,710 No offense, you look like a total drug dealer. 242 00:13:56,920 --> 00:13:59,593 - No shit. Thanks, dude. - You could wear a disguise. 243 00:14:00,240 --> 00:14:01,593 - What? - A disguise. 244 00:14:01,800 --> 00:14:03,472 That's what I thought. A disguise. 245 00:14:03,680 --> 00:14:06,672 I dress up. What's the hot Halloween outfit these days? 246 00:14:06,880 --> 00:14:09,599 Bane from Batman? Someone like that? Wear something over my face? 247 00:14:09,800 --> 00:14:12,553 There's no drugs in here. You've got nothing to worry about. 248 00:14:12,760 --> 00:14:13,875 Great idea. 249 00:14:15,720 --> 00:14:18,314 Hey, pardon me. Hi. 250 00:14:18,520 --> 00:14:23,150 Hate to bug you, but I'm trying to get the fam to the zoo and I'm lost as all heck. 251 00:14:23,360 --> 00:14:24,918 Fuck off, real-life Flanders. 252 00:14:25,520 --> 00:14:26,978 It's my fault. 253 00:14:27,285 --> 00:14:31,113 When it comes to reading maps, I sure can be an old flibbertigibbet. 254 00:14:31,960 --> 00:14:33,712 Hey. No parking here, sir. 255 00:14:33,920 --> 00:14:35,399 Perfect. Fucking tourists. 256 00:14:35,640 --> 00:14:38,029 Oh, jeez. I'm awful sorry, officer. 257 00:14:38,240 --> 00:14:40,151 I don't know which way is up around here. 258 00:14:40,360 --> 00:14:42,999 No problem. Our city can get confusing sometimes. 259 00:14:43,200 --> 00:14:44,758 Trying to find our way to the zoo. 260 00:14:44,960 --> 00:14:48,794 It's two blocks up that way, take a left, two blocks... 261 00:14:54,760 --> 00:14:55,829 Holy fucking shit. 262 00:14:57,760 --> 00:14:59,193 Thank you, dickheads. 263 00:15:00,320 --> 00:15:03,437 Hey little lady, don't you say maybe 264 00:15:03,640 --> 00:15:06,518 Rose, the guy at the bar asked for you by name. 265 00:15:06,720 --> 00:15:08,119 Treat him nice. 266 00:15:08,320 --> 00:15:10,550 Baby, I'ma show you how to 267 00:15:10,800 --> 00:15:11,869 Yeah! 268 00:15:12,240 --> 00:15:13,958 Hi. I'm Rose. 269 00:15:14,760 --> 00:15:17,718 - Hi. Hi. - What...? Oh, please. No. 270 00:15:17,920 --> 00:15:19,956 - No, Rose. Hey, Rose, Rose. - No, no, no, no. 271 00:15:20,160 --> 00:15:22,515 - Please. Listen to me. - Duh, duh, duh, duh. 272 00:15:22,960 --> 00:15:24,632 Ch-ch-ch-chuh. 273 00:15:27,840 --> 00:15:29,319 You asshole. 274 00:15:30,720 --> 00:15:33,393 Don't worry. You don't have to get naked and all that stuff. 275 00:15:34,200 --> 00:15:36,919 - Unless you want to, you know. Oof! - Mm-hm. 276 00:15:37,160 --> 00:15:38,388 - Fuck. - What do you want? 277 00:15:40,280 --> 00:15:43,511 How would you like to spend 4th of July weekend making 10 grand? 278 00:15:43,720 --> 00:15:44,789 - What? - Rose, listen. 279 00:15:45,040 --> 00:15:47,713 All I'm asking is that you go to Mexico with me. 280 00:15:48,360 --> 00:15:51,113 All right? And then we drive home together in an RV. 281 00:15:51,320 --> 00:15:52,389 Mm-hm. 282 00:15:52,600 --> 00:15:55,068 - And that RV has some pot in it. - Drug dealing? 283 00:15:55,280 --> 00:15:58,033 No, it's not drug dealing. It's not. No, it's smuggling. 284 00:15:58,240 --> 00:16:00,390 - Are you out of your mind? - Rose, listen to me. 285 00:16:00,760 --> 00:16:05,311 Now, me crossing the border by myself, huge red flag. Huge, all right? 286 00:16:05,560 --> 00:16:07,630 But families, they don't get a second look. 287 00:16:07,840 --> 00:16:10,718 So, Rose, I need you to be my wife. 288 00:16:11,800 --> 00:16:13,870 That is the dumbest thing I've ever heard. 289 00:16:14,080 --> 00:16:17,629 Look, Rose, 10,000 bucks, and your flight's already paid for. 290 00:16:17,840 --> 00:16:19,193 You can't buy me. 291 00:16:19,400 --> 00:16:22,358 I'm not buying you, all right? I'm renting you. 292 00:16:22,560 --> 00:16:23,595 Hmm. 293 00:16:23,880 --> 00:16:24,995 Like Pretty Woman. 294 00:16:26,200 --> 00:16:28,031 Pretty Woman? She was a prostitute. 295 00:16:28,240 --> 00:16:29,912 And I don't trust you. 296 00:16:34,440 --> 00:16:37,159 - What did she say? - What the fuck do you think? She said no. 297 00:16:37,360 --> 00:16:39,712 Cool. So I guess it's just us, then. 298 00:16:40,029 --> 00:16:42,084 A little father and son bonding trip to Mexico. 299 00:16:42,119 --> 00:16:43,004 Are you kidding me? 300 00:16:43,443 --> 00:16:46,160 You and me alone in a van? It'll look like the pervert Olympics. 301 00:16:46,195 --> 00:16:47,870 No way. Absolutely not. No, we need a girl. 302 00:16:48,080 --> 00:16:51,675 And unless you can think of someone that can leave town tomorrow, I'm fucked. 303 00:16:53,080 --> 00:16:54,479 I know a girl. 304 00:16:58,320 --> 00:17:00,276 I don't get it. What's in it for me? 305 00:17:00,480 --> 00:17:04,678 I'm thinking a roof over your head, some actual hot food. That'd be good enough. 306 00:17:04,880 --> 00:17:06,154 I'm thinking 1000. 307 00:17:07,680 --> 00:17:09,671 Fine, 1000 bucks, but that's it. 308 00:17:09,920 --> 00:17:14,118 Great. And if we get caught I'll say you drugged and kidnapped me. Cool? 309 00:17:15,200 --> 00:17:18,237 Yeah, it's cool. Yeah, that's fine. But that's it. 310 00:17:18,800 --> 00:17:20,791 Kenny, meet your new sister. 311 00:17:21,600 --> 00:17:23,795 This is great. I've always wanted a sister. 312 00:17:26,440 --> 00:17:29,477 - Get it off me. Get it off! Get off! - Hey, come on. Let go. 313 00:17:29,680 --> 00:17:32,399 - Come on. We gotta clean you up. - What's wrong with you? 314 00:17:32,600 --> 00:17:35,319 - Don't say that. - I didn't mean to make her uncomfortable. 315 00:17:35,520 --> 00:17:36,635 # Wild child 316 00:17:36,840 --> 00:17:38,398 Boner Garage! 317 00:17:38,600 --> 00:17:41,160 # Going all out Going for broke 318 00:17:43,400 --> 00:17:45,595 Oh, great. Rose, I'm glad I caught you. 319 00:17:45,800 --> 00:17:49,031 I wanted to go over a couple of minor policy changes... 320 00:17:49,240 --> 00:17:52,038 - ... that we have here at the club. - Like what? 321 00:17:52,240 --> 00:17:55,550 Like, I want you to start having sex with the customers for money. 322 00:17:56,440 --> 00:17:59,557 What? That's totally illegal, Todd. 323 00:17:59,800 --> 00:18:01,279 Come on, what are you gonna do? 324 00:18:01,480 --> 00:18:06,076 I gotta stay competitive with those fuckers who opened up across the street. 325 00:18:06,280 --> 00:18:07,713 You mean the Apple Store? 326 00:18:07,920 --> 00:18:09,353 Yeah, and they're killing us. 327 00:18:09,600 --> 00:18:10,794 Oh, God. 328 00:18:11,000 --> 00:18:13,958 That's it. I can't do it. I quit. 329 00:18:14,600 --> 00:18:15,874 Did you hear the good news? 330 00:18:16,080 --> 00:18:18,355 Now we get to fuck the customers for money. 331 00:18:18,640 --> 00:18:21,029 - Wha...? - Boner Garage loves it. 332 00:18:21,280 --> 00:18:25,353 I'm out of here. I am out of here. I quit. 333 00:18:35,560 --> 00:18:36,675 Fuck. 334 00:18:37,240 --> 00:18:38,355 Fuck. 335 00:19:01,280 --> 00:19:04,556 So, Casey, I guess it's nice for you to get your hair cut. 336 00:19:04,920 --> 00:19:06,273 Being homeless and all... 337 00:19:06,480 --> 00:19:10,109 I'm not homeless, fucktard. I have a home. But I left because my parent... 338 00:19:10,320 --> 00:19:14,552 Shut up, okay? Please. I don't need to hear your hard-luck backstory right now. 339 00:19:14,760 --> 00:19:19,356 I rented Precious on Netflix eight months ago and I still haven't watched the thing. 340 00:19:19,560 --> 00:19:20,629 Here. You know what? 341 00:19:20,880 --> 00:19:24,190 Just give me a little peace and quiet and buy yourself some new clothes. 342 00:19:24,400 --> 00:19:27,710 You know, the kind of stuff that loved children wear. Not this garbage. 343 00:19:27,920 --> 00:19:29,433 All right? Thank you. 344 00:19:29,680 --> 00:19:30,829 Whoa, whoa, whoa, stop. 345 00:19:32,480 --> 00:19:34,596 You're fine. You already like a total dipshit. 346 00:19:36,000 --> 00:19:38,912 Here. You're gonna need it. You look like Eminem from 8 Mile. 347 00:19:40,400 --> 00:19:42,516 Go with her. Make sure she doesn't steal it. 348 00:19:42,720 --> 00:19:44,597 And stay the fuck out of Hot Topic. 349 00:19:45,160 --> 00:19:46,388 David Clark? 350 00:19:47,160 --> 00:19:49,390 Okay, what are we doing today? 351 00:19:49,600 --> 00:19:52,558 Yeah, I say, give me something that says: 352 00:19:52,760 --> 00:19:56,958 "I get up every morning at 5:30 and commute for an hour to a bullshit job... 353 00:19:57,200 --> 00:19:59,760 ...where my boss expects me to kiss his balls all day... 354 00:19:59,960 --> 00:20:03,953 ...so I can afford to keep my ungrateful kids decked out in Dora the Explorer shit... 355 00:20:04,160 --> 00:20:06,151 ...and my wife up to her fat ass in self-help videos... 356 00:20:06,520 --> 00:20:09,273 ...until the day I get the courage to put a shotgun in my mouth. " 357 00:20:11,800 --> 00:20:12,994 Right here. 358 00:20:13,920 --> 00:20:15,831 Yeah. That's it. That's the one. 359 00:20:47,040 --> 00:20:48,189 All right. 360 00:20:59,800 --> 00:21:01,199 Get a full body check. 361 00:21:20,400 --> 00:21:21,913 Sorry. 362 00:21:23,680 --> 00:21:25,796 Hi, you folks have everything you need? 363 00:21:26,200 --> 00:21:27,394 Oh, you betcha! 364 00:21:27,600 --> 00:21:31,673 Yeah, we're heading out on a family vacay here, you know? Off to see grandma, huh? 365 00:21:32,440 --> 00:21:33,998 Well, you have a lovely family. 366 00:21:34,200 --> 00:21:37,510 Oh, thank you very much. Yeah, this is my son, Kenny Miller, right here. 367 00:21:37,720 --> 00:21:40,029 - And my lovely daughter... - Casey? 368 00:21:40,240 --> 00:21:43,357 Casey. Casey Miller, that's right. And I'm David Miller. 369 00:21:43,560 --> 00:21:44,595 We're the Millers. 370 00:21:44,800 --> 00:21:48,634 Yeah, now, you know, I got my hands full here. Couple of kooky teenagers. 371 00:21:49,080 --> 00:21:52,629 Yeah, I'm going through all those typical teenage girl issues like: 372 00:21:52,840 --> 00:21:55,479 Finals and college applications... 373 00:21:55,800 --> 00:21:57,995 ...and am I gonna get asked to prom. 374 00:21:58,200 --> 00:22:00,668 Plus, I haven't gotten my period in two months... 375 00:22:01,000 --> 00:22:03,912 ...which is really weird because I've mostly just been doing anal. 376 00:22:05,560 --> 00:22:08,472 Ha-ha-ha! Oh, that's enough. 377 00:22:10,000 --> 00:22:12,719 Well, thank you for your help, "Natalie. " 378 00:22:13,600 --> 00:22:15,238 Take your seats, please. 379 00:22:17,520 --> 00:22:18,635 You fucking kidding me? 380 00:22:18,840 --> 00:22:20,796 I'm good. I got it. Right over here. Thanks. 381 00:22:21,000 --> 00:22:22,911 Thank you. Sorry. 382 00:22:23,120 --> 00:22:27,557 - Honey! Hi! You made it! - Mm-hm. Eat a dick. 383 00:22:27,760 --> 00:22:29,273 - Sorry, sorry. Okay. - Mm-mm. 384 00:22:29,480 --> 00:22:32,756 - Wow, you look really, like... - Don't. Just don't, all right? 385 00:22:33,160 --> 00:22:34,195 Hi, Mom. 386 00:22:34,400 --> 00:22:35,549 - Jesus. - Mm-hm. 387 00:22:36,200 --> 00:22:37,713 And who's that? 388 00:22:37,920 --> 00:22:40,718 Well, that's your daughter. Casey. 389 00:22:41,240 --> 00:22:42,275 Hey. 390 00:22:42,480 --> 00:22:43,754 Mm-hm. 391 00:22:44,000 --> 00:22:45,274 I want 30,000 now. 392 00:22:45,840 --> 00:22:48,115 - No fucking way. - Okay. Have a safe flight. 393 00:22:48,320 --> 00:22:52,279 What? No. Okay. Fine! Fine. Bloodsucker. 394 00:22:52,480 --> 00:22:56,393 Mm. All right, happy wife, happy life. Hi, kids! 395 00:22:57,720 --> 00:22:59,915 - Make room for your mother. - Okay. 396 00:23:02,760 --> 00:23:04,352 - Hey! - Whoa! No, I didn't...! 397 00:23:04,560 --> 00:23:07,518 What the fuck? Don't you ever think that you can ever... 398 00:23:07,720 --> 00:23:09,995 Family meeting. Let's go. Get in the back. Go. 399 00:23:10,240 --> 00:23:11,912 - I didn't mean to. - I don't care. 400 00:23:12,160 --> 00:23:16,199 - He just hit me in the fucking face. - Will you march? No one wants to hear... 401 00:23:18,880 --> 00:23:20,791 What the fuck?! Are you kidding me? 402 00:23:21,080 --> 00:23:23,435 Oh, come on, relax, Dorothy. Jesus. 403 00:23:23,640 --> 00:23:26,200 We're not at the border. Who cares what they think? 404 00:23:26,400 --> 00:23:29,312 It's about not drawing attention to ourselves, you little hobo. 405 00:23:29,920 --> 00:23:31,831 Hey! Don't talk to her like that. 406 00:23:32,040 --> 00:23:35,032 Rose, relax, okay? The only thing you need to worry about... 407 00:23:35,240 --> 00:23:37,959 ...is making them think you could be someone's mother. Okay? 408 00:23:38,160 --> 00:23:40,549 Are you kidding me? I can do this shit in my sleep. 409 00:23:40,760 --> 00:23:42,079 Excuse me. 410 00:23:44,280 --> 00:23:47,795 Lord, we thank thee for the blessing of this family vacation. 411 00:23:48,080 --> 00:23:50,548 May David find his bliss and bring us home back safely. 412 00:23:50,760 --> 00:23:53,877 May Kenny and Casey fortify their sibling bond... 413 00:23:54,080 --> 00:23:57,197 ...over the warm glow of our devoted hearts. 414 00:23:57,600 --> 00:24:01,229 And may this entire airplane find safe passage... 415 00:24:01,440 --> 00:24:03,476 ...and a bountiful life. 416 00:24:04,080 --> 00:24:05,354 Even the Jews. 417 00:24:06,720 --> 00:24:08,199 - Amen. - That was a good one. 418 00:24:08,400 --> 00:24:09,879 That was beautiful. 419 00:24:10,080 --> 00:24:12,355 - Oh. - I wish my family was more like that. 420 00:24:12,560 --> 00:24:14,232 Oh, stop. Don't. 421 00:24:14,440 --> 00:24:17,876 No, no, no. Come on. Come in here. Hug it out. Don't you cry. 422 00:24:18,080 --> 00:24:19,195 Aw, honey. 423 00:24:20,160 --> 00:24:21,559 Fuck you. 424 00:24:21,840 --> 00:24:23,592 All better now? Okay. 425 00:24:23,840 --> 00:24:27,913 Oh, and don't forget you can use Chex Mix as a surprise casserole topping. 426 00:24:28,120 --> 00:24:29,917 Adds that real special crunch. 427 00:24:30,120 --> 00:24:31,997 - Wow, what a great tip. - Sure! 428 00:24:32,240 --> 00:24:33,355 Bye-bye. 429 00:24:34,240 --> 00:24:36,276 Holy shit, where did that come from? 430 00:24:36,480 --> 00:24:39,313 It's five summers with my Aunt Barb in Oklahoma. 431 00:24:39,520 --> 00:24:40,589 That was amazing. 432 00:24:40,800 --> 00:24:42,552 Calm down. It wasn't that great. 433 00:24:42,760 --> 00:24:46,309 Ah, goddamn it. Brad said the RV was supposed to be out here waiting for us. 434 00:24:46,520 --> 00:24:48,511 Anybody sees a camper, just let me know. 435 00:24:49,160 --> 00:24:50,195 Whoa. 436 00:25:01,200 --> 00:25:02,872 What the fuck is this? 437 00:25:03,080 --> 00:25:04,195 This thing is ridiculous. 438 00:25:06,120 --> 00:25:07,758 - Can you drive this? - I don't know. 439 00:25:07,960 --> 00:25:09,359 How fast does it go? 440 00:25:41,920 --> 00:25:44,036 Why the hell are you reading that thing? 441 00:25:46,040 --> 00:25:48,873 Because I like it. It's fun. 442 00:25:49,080 --> 00:25:50,399 It's informative. 443 00:25:50,600 --> 00:25:52,511 "It's fun. " That's your idea of fun, huh? 444 00:25:52,720 --> 00:25:55,359 I have a VCR manual from the '90s you should check out. 445 00:25:55,560 --> 00:25:58,313 - I think you'd probably enjoy that. - Fireworks! 446 00:25:58,520 --> 00:26:00,033 Oh, my God, guys, look! 447 00:26:00,280 --> 00:26:02,840 Fireworks! Hey! Fireworks! Pull over! There's fireworks! 448 00:26:03,080 --> 00:26:04,672 We're not pulling over for fireworks. 449 00:26:04,880 --> 00:26:07,269 - Oh, oh, stern. - What? It's Fourth of July weekend. 450 00:26:07,480 --> 00:26:09,436 Don't be such a grumpy asshole. Pull over! 451 00:26:09,640 --> 00:26:10,914 No. Absolutely not. 452 00:26:11,160 --> 00:26:12,752 Oh, come on, I vote fireworks too. 453 00:26:13,000 --> 00:26:15,958 See? Even this loser wants fireworks. Fireworks! 454 00:26:16,160 --> 00:26:18,469 - Fireworks! Fireworks! - The kids wanna see fireworks. 455 00:26:18,720 --> 00:26:20,472 Fireworks! Fireworks! Fireworks! 456 00:26:20,720 --> 00:26:21,835 Okay, enough! 457 00:26:25,160 --> 00:26:28,755 Enough! Let's get something straight right now! 458 00:26:28,960 --> 00:26:30,871 You are not my kids! Okay? 459 00:26:31,280 --> 00:26:33,635 You are not my wife! And we are not a family! 460 00:26:33,840 --> 00:26:35,273 All right? This is a job! 461 00:26:35,480 --> 00:26:36,993 We are not the Brady Bunch! 462 00:26:37,240 --> 00:26:39,913 I'm Marky Mark and y'all are the Funky Bunch! 463 00:26:40,840 --> 00:26:43,513 - The what? - I'm the boss. You hear me? 464 00:26:43,800 --> 00:26:48,635 So cut the shit! Otherwise, I will turn this RV around immediately! 465 00:26:48,960 --> 00:26:52,475 And we will drive straight home. No drugs for anyone! 466 00:26:52,960 --> 00:26:54,029 This vacation sucks. 467 00:26:54,240 --> 00:26:55,593 You... 468 00:26:56,120 --> 00:26:57,633 It is not a vacation! 469 00:27:05,680 --> 00:27:07,591 There we go. You fucking happy? Come on. 470 00:27:18,800 --> 00:27:21,189 Here we go. Everybody just be cool. All right? 471 00:27:22,280 --> 00:27:23,474 Hey there! 472 00:27:23,680 --> 00:27:26,911 You got the Miller family here, reporting for leisure, sir. 473 00:27:27,160 --> 00:27:29,390 We're just heading down to M�xico way to do a... 474 00:27:31,280 --> 00:27:35,876 Oh. Okay. Great. Fantastic. All right, thank you. Take care, now. All right. 475 00:27:36,960 --> 00:27:41,476 Whoo! Did you see that? I told you this RV would work! We totally blend. 476 00:27:41,720 --> 00:27:44,393 Congratulations. You just snuck into Mexico. 477 00:27:50,480 --> 00:27:51,515 What is this? 478 00:27:51,720 --> 00:27:53,392 - A meth lab? - It's Mexico, Casey. 479 00:27:53,600 --> 00:27:55,352 That's a donkey, donkey, donkey. 480 00:27:55,800 --> 00:27:59,076 - This RV blends right in, David. - Will you calm down? 481 00:27:59,400 --> 00:28:02,392 This thing is ginormous. I mean, it's ridiculous. 482 00:28:09,240 --> 00:28:11,356 You have arrived at your destination. 483 00:28:11,560 --> 00:28:13,471 The route guidance is now finished. 484 00:28:13,680 --> 00:28:15,671 Are you sure these guys are expecting you? 485 00:28:15,920 --> 00:28:17,592 Rose, we're good. All right? 486 00:28:17,840 --> 00:28:21,150 Now will you calm down? These are Brad's guys. Nothing to worry about. 487 00:28:21,360 --> 00:28:22,952 Open Sesame. Here we go. 488 00:28:23,520 --> 00:28:24,714 Hey! 489 00:28:25,440 --> 00:28:27,396 Hey, I think that guy was in La Bamba. 490 00:28:28,280 --> 00:28:31,113 Is that a little football over there? That's fun. Soccer. 491 00:28:31,320 --> 00:28:32,833 Kids are a good sign, I guess. 492 00:28:37,080 --> 00:28:40,629 - Hey there. - What is this place? 493 00:28:40,840 --> 00:28:43,957 Will you look at this? It's a cute little drug-dealing community. 494 00:28:44,200 --> 00:28:45,792 They probably sell churros. 495 00:28:46,840 --> 00:28:48,478 Will you relax? 496 00:28:48,680 --> 00:28:50,830 It's fine. We're totally fine. 497 00:28:51,120 --> 00:28:52,725 I'll run in there, 498 00:28:53,002 --> 00:28:55,825 pick up a duffel bag, a suitcase or something and we'll be on our way. 499 00:28:55,860 --> 00:28:58,989 Hi. Now come on. See, it's the welcome wagon. 500 00:28:59,200 --> 00:29:00,428 Let me go talk to this guy. 501 00:29:01,400 --> 00:29:05,109 Hola. Hola, big man, me llamo David. 502 00:29:05,320 --> 00:29:07,629 Yeah, I'm here to pick up for Brad Gurdlinger. 503 00:29:09,720 --> 00:29:10,835 - Oh. - He's got a gun. 504 00:29:11,040 --> 00:29:13,235 - Oh, God. - Whoa, whoa. Hey, hey, hey! 505 00:29:13,480 --> 00:29:16,916 - Oh, God. - Palo Hacon! Palo Hacon! 506 00:29:17,120 --> 00:29:18,473 Pablo Chacon? 507 00:29:20,880 --> 00:29:23,394 Pablo Chacon. I'm here to pick up for Pablo Chacon. 508 00:29:23,600 --> 00:29:25,909 You are the White Gringo with the haircut of a donkey. 509 00:29:26,120 --> 00:29:27,917 Uh, yeah. S�. 510 00:29:28,160 --> 00:29:31,709 Yeah. Yeah, mucho white-o. Very, very gringo. Yeah. 511 00:29:31,920 --> 00:29:35,754 - Who are they? - Um, that's my "family. " 512 00:29:36,000 --> 00:29:38,150 You know, uh, mi familia. 513 00:29:38,360 --> 00:29:41,397 You know, helping me out here with the deal. Yeah. 514 00:29:43,840 --> 00:29:45,193 Yeah. 515 00:29:45,400 --> 00:29:47,834 Yeah. I know, I can't believe it either. 516 00:29:49,280 --> 00:29:50,872 Do you see his eye? Jesus Christ. 517 00:29:52,960 --> 00:29:54,678 Come! Drugs now. 518 00:29:54,880 --> 00:29:56,677 - Okay, great. - What? 519 00:29:56,880 --> 00:29:58,518 That's great. Let's do it. Okay. 520 00:30:00,160 --> 00:30:03,596 All right, big fella, where's the smidge of weed everyone's talking about? 521 00:30:15,320 --> 00:30:18,073 - This is a little more than a smidge. - Oh, dear. 522 00:30:18,280 --> 00:30:19,952 Calm down. Okay? We're gonna be fine. 523 00:30:20,160 --> 00:30:21,559 Oh, yeah, sure, right. 524 00:30:21,760 --> 00:30:24,672 All we're doing is smuggling two metric tons of marijuana... 525 00:30:24,920 --> 00:30:28,196 ...across an international border in a rented motor home! 526 00:30:28,720 --> 00:30:31,439 I don't see what could possibly go wrong! Ugh! 527 00:30:33,040 --> 00:30:35,838 Okay, uh, I'm gonna make a phone call real quick. 528 00:30:36,320 --> 00:30:38,595 Kenny, watch the pot. 529 00:30:44,760 --> 00:30:45,909 It's a great place. 530 00:30:46,440 --> 00:30:47,839 Fuck you. 531 00:30:59,000 --> 00:31:00,433 Hey. Buddy. 532 00:31:00,600 --> 00:31:04,229 I'm gonna let you in on a little secret. I'm like an amazing sculptor. 533 00:31:04,400 --> 00:31:06,994 - What are you talking about? - I've been working all day. 534 00:31:07,160 --> 00:31:11,597 It's an orca and he's breaching and I'm balls deep in his blow hole. 535 00:31:11,800 --> 00:31:12,835 What the fuck? 536 00:31:13,040 --> 00:31:14,075 Uh-oh, something wrong? 537 00:31:14,240 --> 00:31:16,879 Yeah! Something's wrong. Something's very, very wrong. Okay? 538 00:31:17,040 --> 00:31:18,359 You said "a smidge of pot. " 539 00:31:18,560 --> 00:31:20,118 This is not a smidge. 540 00:31:20,280 --> 00:31:21,759 - Smidge and a half? No? - No. 541 00:31:21,920 --> 00:31:25,117 You got me moving enough weed to kill Willie-fucking-Nelson, man! 542 00:31:26,160 --> 00:31:30,312 Okay? They're using a goddamn bucket brigade to put it on the RV as we speak! 543 00:31:30,480 --> 00:31:34,189 You walked in, told them you were picking up for Pablo Chacon and they were like: 544 00:31:34,600 --> 00:31:36,158 - "No problem!" - Wait a minute. 545 00:31:36,320 --> 00:31:39,392 Why do you sound surprised? You told them we were coming, right? 546 00:31:39,560 --> 00:31:40,595 Relax! 547 00:31:40,760 --> 00:31:44,799 Everything's gonna be fine, man. I greased the guard in lane one at the border. 548 00:31:45,000 --> 00:31:47,719 He'll let you breeze through, I'll see you in the morning! 549 00:31:47,920 --> 00:31:49,239 I'll even buy you brunch. 550 00:31:49,520 --> 00:31:51,272 Can I change the subject for a second? 551 00:31:51,440 --> 00:31:53,271 If you get back and see the sculpture... 552 00:31:53,440 --> 00:31:56,591 ...you're gonna look at it and be like, "Whoa, those balls are huge. " 553 00:31:56,760 --> 00:31:59,433 The balls are the only part that are not anatomically correct. 554 00:31:59,640 --> 00:32:01,119 Everything else is perfect. 555 00:32:01,280 --> 00:32:05,432 But I made the balls a little larger as a tribute to my manhood. 556 00:32:05,600 --> 00:32:06,749 Fuck you, Brad. 557 00:32:06,920 --> 00:32:08,876 That's the David I love! 558 00:32:09,040 --> 00:32:11,600 Fuck you too! Come on, let's do this! 559 00:32:11,760 --> 00:32:13,591 Ha, ha! I'll see you soon, my little drug mule! 560 00:32:13,760 --> 00:32:15,239 Hee-haw! Hee-haw! Hee-haw... 561 00:32:16,720 --> 00:32:17,709 Shit! 562 00:32:22,400 --> 00:32:24,709 Oh, no. Thank you. I'm good. 563 00:32:26,400 --> 00:32:27,833 You reject my mother's gift? 564 00:32:29,200 --> 00:32:31,919 I mean, I don't know whether I'd put it in those terms. 565 00:32:32,120 --> 00:32:34,111 - Shut up and take the fruit. - Right. Got it. 566 00:32:34,320 --> 00:32:35,435 Thank you, ma'am. 567 00:32:35,680 --> 00:32:37,477 - You wanna get us killed? - What? 568 00:32:38,240 --> 00:32:39,389 Namaste. 569 00:32:47,800 --> 00:32:48,869 Whoa. 570 00:32:49,080 --> 00:32:51,275 I think Snoop Dogg would fuck this fridge. 571 00:32:51,520 --> 00:32:52,839 At least it keeps it fresh. 572 00:32:53,800 --> 00:32:57,429 Well, as long as no one sets foot inside the RV... 573 00:32:57,640 --> 00:33:00,473 ...looks through a window, or weighs us... 574 00:33:01,440 --> 00:33:04,159 - ... we should be pretty good. - We'll be fine. 575 00:33:04,680 --> 00:33:06,238 We're totally fucked. 576 00:33:23,640 --> 00:33:25,358 Aw, shit. What the hell is this? 577 00:33:25,600 --> 00:33:28,068 - What's it look like? It's a cop, genius. - Be cool. 578 00:33:28,280 --> 00:33:31,875 - Remember we're the Millers. Okay. - Okay. Yeah. Okay. Cool. 579 00:33:33,120 --> 00:33:35,475 - Oh. Buenos dias, officer. - Hola. 580 00:33:35,680 --> 00:33:38,433 I'm sorry if we were violating some of your traffic laws. 581 00:33:38,640 --> 00:33:41,871 You see, the family and I got into a heated game of road bingo and... 582 00:33:42,120 --> 00:33:44,111 - Cut the shit. - I'm sorry? 583 00:33:44,320 --> 00:33:46,834 I saw you leaving Pablo Chacon's compound. 584 00:33:47,080 --> 00:33:50,072 And we both know if I search your mobile home, what I'd find. 585 00:33:50,280 --> 00:33:52,271 Much prison time for such things. 586 00:33:52,480 --> 00:33:53,799 Yeah. Yeah. 587 00:33:54,240 --> 00:33:56,231 But I don't feel like arresting anybody... 588 00:33:56,440 --> 00:33:59,750 ...so I'll just simply take my bribe and I'll be on my way. 589 00:34:02,240 --> 00:34:04,071 Well, all right. Ha, ha. 590 00:34:04,560 --> 00:34:07,757 This is what I'm talking about. Great! How much we talking? 100? 200? 591 00:34:07,960 --> 00:34:10,190 - One thousand. - A thousand? 592 00:34:10,440 --> 00:34:13,113 - Mm-hm. - What, are you buying a house down here? 593 00:34:14,000 --> 00:34:17,913 It's a lot. Um, we don't have that sort of cash on us right now. 594 00:34:20,160 --> 00:34:21,991 You see, that's gonna be a problem. 595 00:34:22,240 --> 00:34:23,355 Yeah, yeah. 596 00:34:23,560 --> 00:34:26,916 Maybe you can offer me something else. Say, uh... 597 00:34:28,200 --> 00:34:30,316 ...something a little more personal? 598 00:34:32,080 --> 00:34:34,389 - Oh. - Oh. 599 00:34:35,840 --> 00:34:38,115 I gotcha. Rose, suck his dick. 600 00:34:39,440 --> 00:34:41,431 Fuck you, I'm not sucking anything. 601 00:34:41,680 --> 00:34:43,398 Come on. Will you be a team player? 602 00:34:43,640 --> 00:34:46,234 - Are you fucking kidding me? - Will you stop being selfish? 603 00:34:46,440 --> 00:34:48,749 Please, please, se�ora. No need to be alarmed. 604 00:34:49,480 --> 00:34:54,235 See, I'm, how you say, a man who prefers the company of other men. 605 00:34:55,000 --> 00:34:56,877 - Oh. - Oh. 606 00:34:58,360 --> 00:35:00,715 - David, suck his dick. - Rose. 607 00:35:00,920 --> 00:35:03,434 Five seconds tops. Just cradle the balls. 608 00:35:03,640 --> 00:35:04,993 Mm. 609 00:35:05,240 --> 00:35:08,232 Come on, David. Be a team player. You're gonna have fun. 610 00:35:10,000 --> 00:35:11,638 Um... 611 00:35:12,280 --> 00:35:15,033 Okay. Kenny! Front and center, buddy. 612 00:35:15,240 --> 00:35:16,878 Uh... 613 00:35:17,080 --> 00:35:18,308 Okay, so what's the plan? 614 00:35:18,520 --> 00:35:21,318 Go up there and pretend to and then you're gonna jump him? 615 00:35:21,520 --> 00:35:22,794 The plan is, um... 616 00:35:23,000 --> 00:35:24,228 Here. Come here, come here. 617 00:35:24,640 --> 00:35:27,677 Okay, um, let's see. You, you're this bottle cap. 618 00:35:27,880 --> 00:35:30,678 Right? And I am this cigarette butt. 619 00:35:30,880 --> 00:35:34,589 Okay, that's us. All right? Okay? He's over there, right by this, that bush. 620 00:35:34,800 --> 00:35:35,994 We'll make him the pebble. 621 00:35:36,200 --> 00:35:39,875 You will go and meet him behind the bush right over there. 622 00:35:40,080 --> 00:35:42,116 You suck his dick, and we get outta here. 623 00:35:42,360 --> 00:35:44,828 - Okay? Bring it in, on three. - What?! No! 624 00:35:45,040 --> 00:35:46,712 What do you mean no? What's wrong? 625 00:35:46,920 --> 00:35:49,593 - Well, I'm not gay. - Are you sure? 626 00:35:50,680 --> 00:35:52,671 I mean, you never really know until you know. 627 00:35:52,920 --> 00:35:55,275 - No. I'm not gay. - Okay. All right. Calm down. 628 00:35:55,480 --> 00:35:59,473 Look, this gay panic situation you're having now, it's coming off a little homophobic. 629 00:36:00,080 --> 00:36:02,389 What, because I don't want a penis in my mouth? 630 00:36:02,600 --> 00:36:05,034 Exactly. It's exactly what homophobic means. 631 00:36:05,240 --> 00:36:08,835 Look, you go over there, you just, you know, you pretend it's a girl's dick. 632 00:36:09,240 --> 00:36:10,593 Any girl's dick you want. 633 00:36:10,800 --> 00:36:13,553 - I'm not sure I agree with that logic. - Look, listen to me. 634 00:36:14,520 --> 00:36:17,159 - What is he saying to him? - I have no idea. 635 00:36:17,400 --> 00:36:19,391 All right? Just listen to me. All right? 636 00:36:19,600 --> 00:36:20,715 Come on, man. 637 00:36:20,920 --> 00:36:23,309 This is your chance to be the hero. 638 00:36:24,640 --> 00:36:26,835 - I don't know, David. - Don't do it for me. 639 00:36:27,040 --> 00:36:30,430 Don't even do it for you. Do it for the girls. For Rose and Casey. 640 00:36:30,640 --> 00:36:33,677 Because, believe me, they won't last two days in a Mexican prison. 641 00:36:36,240 --> 00:36:37,832 - Okay. - Attaboy! 642 00:36:39,080 --> 00:36:41,116 - I'll do it for the girls. - I'm proud of you. 643 00:36:42,040 --> 00:36:44,076 Hey. What's going on? 644 00:36:44,280 --> 00:36:46,840 Somebody sucking my dick, or am I getting 1000 pesos? 645 00:36:47,040 --> 00:36:48,598 No, he's gonna w... 646 00:36:49,360 --> 00:36:51,794 - "Pesos"? Why didn't you say so? - Mm-hm. A thousand. 647 00:36:52,000 --> 00:36:55,072 Oh, well, that's like, what, 80 bucks American? 648 00:36:55,280 --> 00:36:57,589 Here. Here you go. A hundred. Keep the change. 649 00:37:04,840 --> 00:37:08,037 Can't believe you were gonna suck that guy's dick. Come on, let's go. 650 00:37:19,400 --> 00:37:22,676 All vehicles, please proceed slowly in assigned lanes... 651 00:37:22,920 --> 00:37:24,638 ...and prepare for vehicle inspection. 652 00:37:27,680 --> 00:37:28,999 Okay, here we go. This is it. 653 00:37:29,200 --> 00:37:30,633 Kenny, grab the hats. Hurry. 654 00:37:31,120 --> 00:37:33,634 You said the guard was just gonna wave us through. 655 00:37:33,840 --> 00:37:37,230 He will. But let's look the part so the others don't get suspicious. 656 00:37:44,240 --> 00:37:45,719 What the fuck does this guy want? 657 00:37:45,920 --> 00:37:47,638 I don't know. But he's honking. 658 00:37:48,440 --> 00:37:50,908 - Hi! - Just ignore them. 659 00:37:51,320 --> 00:37:55,677 Okay, he's really honking and it's making a huge scene. I think he just wants to say hi. 660 00:37:55,960 --> 00:37:57,439 Oh, my God. I don't wanna say hi. 661 00:37:57,640 --> 00:37:59,915 They're just waving. If we just wave, he'll stop. 662 00:38:00,120 --> 00:38:01,838 Fine. I'll say hi. Fine. 663 00:38:02,640 --> 00:38:03,675 - Hi! - Hi! 664 00:38:03,920 --> 00:38:06,957 Howdy-doody! Quite a rig you got there, amigo. 665 00:38:07,160 --> 00:38:11,278 That is quite a rig you guys have there too. 666 00:38:11,480 --> 00:38:13,948 Well, thank you very kindly. We do love her. 667 00:38:14,160 --> 00:38:17,311 We don't take her out as often as we used to when our girl was small. 668 00:38:17,680 --> 00:38:22,276 It can be such a bear to carve out quality family time but you gotta do it, don't you? 669 00:38:22,640 --> 00:38:24,596 Yeah, David and Rose Miller here. 670 00:38:24,800 --> 00:38:25,915 Oh. 671 00:38:26,120 --> 00:38:29,795 This is my daughter, Casey, right here. And my son, Kenny. 672 00:38:30,640 --> 00:38:33,359 - How handsome. - Pleased to make your acquaintance. 673 00:38:33,560 --> 00:38:36,233 Don Fitzgerald, my smoldering wife, Edith... 674 00:38:36,440 --> 00:38:38,237 ...and our daughter. Say hi, Melissa. 675 00:38:49,200 --> 00:38:51,031 - Lane one, please pull forward. - Oh. 676 00:38:51,240 --> 00:38:53,674 Sir. Sir, please pull forward. 677 00:38:56,920 --> 00:38:58,194 I got a joint here. 678 00:38:59,240 --> 00:39:01,310 - Shut down lane one. - It's medicinal. 679 00:39:01,560 --> 00:39:02,993 - What'd he say? - He has a joint. 680 00:39:03,200 --> 00:39:04,633 That's it? 681 00:39:07,840 --> 00:39:08,875 - Hide it. - Okay. 682 00:39:09,080 --> 00:39:10,832 Get rid of it! Oh, my God! 683 00:39:11,040 --> 00:39:12,473 Holy shit. 684 00:39:13,000 --> 00:39:14,831 - Oh, that was so close. - You have a baby! 685 00:39:15,360 --> 00:39:17,999 - Oh, I love babies! - Oh. 686 00:39:18,200 --> 00:39:20,760 Oh, look at that gorgeous little bundle of joy! 687 00:39:21,000 --> 00:39:23,116 What's that beautiful little baby's name? 688 00:39:23,880 --> 00:39:27,031 - This is our little... - LeBron. 689 00:39:27,360 --> 00:39:28,998 - Name's LeBron. - Yup. 690 00:39:29,200 --> 00:39:31,475 - Oh. - A little French fella. 691 00:39:31,720 --> 00:39:32,755 It's our little LeBron. 692 00:39:32,960 --> 00:39:36,396 I was against the name at first, but the missus has a real soft spot... 693 00:39:36,640 --> 00:39:38,676 ...for prima donnas who'll never be as good as Jordan. 694 00:39:38,880 --> 00:39:40,393 I can't see the face. 695 00:39:41,080 --> 00:39:44,993 - I'm dying to see his face. - Sir, pull forward to lane two. 696 00:39:45,360 --> 00:39:48,477 - Oh, fuck! Okay, put on the hats. - You gotta pull over. 697 00:39:48,680 --> 00:39:51,069 - Here we go. - Great. 698 00:39:52,600 --> 00:39:55,319 - My God, I feel like a fucking idiot. - That's the idea. 699 00:39:55,520 --> 00:39:59,877 Hey, hey, hey, hey. Everybody smile and follow my lead, all right? 700 00:40:00,120 --> 00:40:02,998 I'm gonna take us to the promised land. Here we go. Here we go. 701 00:40:05,120 --> 00:40:06,473 Steady. 702 00:40:07,120 --> 00:40:09,190 - Steady. - Shit. 703 00:40:15,480 --> 00:40:17,277 Shh. Shh, shh. I got this one. 704 00:40:17,480 --> 00:40:22,634 Okay. Everybody just smile. Everybody be cool. Here we go. Follow my lead. Ahem. 705 00:40:24,520 --> 00:40:26,909 You bringing anything into the United States, sir? 706 00:40:27,120 --> 00:40:28,348 Yuh... 707 00:40:29,000 --> 00:40:31,560 Sir, are you bringing any contraband back into the United States? 708 00:40:31,760 --> 00:40:32,795 Um... 709 00:40:33,000 --> 00:40:34,228 - Sir? - David! 710 00:40:38,760 --> 00:40:41,513 Folks, I need you to pull over and exit the vehicle, please. 711 00:40:42,560 --> 00:40:44,835 - But... - Sir, is that actually necessary? 712 00:40:45,080 --> 00:40:47,196 I mean, these kids are pooped and we've just... 713 00:40:47,400 --> 00:40:50,278 I need everybody out of this recreational vehicle immediately. 714 00:40:50,480 --> 00:40:53,119 - I'll just put the baby down. - We'll put the baby away. 715 00:40:53,320 --> 00:40:58,394 Bring the child, pull over to the secondary inspection area and exit the vehicle now! 716 00:40:59,440 --> 00:41:00,953 - Okay. - Good. 717 00:41:04,600 --> 00:41:05,828 It's okay. It's all right. 718 00:41:06,080 --> 00:41:07,911 It's okay, baby. It's just a puppy. 719 00:41:08,720 --> 00:41:09,948 Stand down. 720 00:41:11,040 --> 00:41:13,031 All right. It's okay. 721 00:41:14,040 --> 00:41:17,589 Before I search the vehicle, is there anything you wanna tell me about? 722 00:41:17,800 --> 00:41:19,358 Because after I open that door... 723 00:41:20,200 --> 00:41:21,428 ...I can't help you. 724 00:41:27,240 --> 00:41:30,710 Last chance. I'm gonna search this vehicle top to bottom. 725 00:41:31,440 --> 00:41:32,475 All right. 726 00:41:35,520 --> 00:41:36,669 We got runners! 727 00:41:41,920 --> 00:41:43,672 We got runners! 728 00:41:44,400 --> 00:41:47,153 Sorry to inconvenience you, folks. This happens a lot. 729 00:41:47,360 --> 00:41:48,759 You have a nice day. 730 00:41:54,320 --> 00:41:56,436 Go. Go, go! 731 00:42:12,920 --> 00:42:14,956 Ah. Well, that was fucking easy! 732 00:42:16,520 --> 00:42:17,999 - Oh, my God. - God! 733 00:42:18,200 --> 00:42:19,235 Whoo! We did it! 734 00:42:19,520 --> 00:42:22,990 Nicely done, Millers! Give it up! Very good job. Here you go. 735 00:42:23,200 --> 00:42:25,794 Rose! Yeah! David! There you go! 736 00:42:26,000 --> 00:42:30,471 We are all officially international drug smugglers. Add it to the r�sum�. 737 00:42:30,680 --> 00:42:33,513 Ha, ha. How about a little victory music, huh? 738 00:42:37,840 --> 00:42:38,909 Oh, no, no, no. 739 00:42:39,120 --> 00:42:41,395 - Don't change it. I love this song. - Me too. 740 00:42:41,600 --> 00:42:44,114 What? I didn't even like this song when it was popular. 741 00:42:44,320 --> 00:42:45,719 Come on, loosen up, David. 742 00:42:48,200 --> 00:42:50,395 Please stick to the rivers 743 00:42:50,600 --> 00:42:52,750 And the lakes that you're used to 744 00:42:53,000 --> 00:42:54,035 Don't do this. 745 00:42:54,240 --> 00:42:57,596 What? This isn't even a good victory song. 746 00:42:57,840 --> 00:42:59,831 No, stop. We are not doing this. 747 00:43:00,040 --> 00:43:03,157 This is embarrassing. Stop. 748 00:43:04,440 --> 00:43:05,714 Ah, come on. 749 00:43:06,800 --> 00:43:09,997 # I seen a rainbow yesterday But too many storms have come and gone 750 00:43:10,200 --> 00:43:12,395 # Leavin' a trace of not one God-given ray Is it because my life is 10 shades of gray 751 00:43:12,600 --> 00:43:13,635 What the fuck? 752 00:43:14,520 --> 00:43:17,592 # I pray all 10 fade away Seldom praise him for the sunny days 753 00:43:17,800 --> 00:43:19,677 # You claim the insane And name this place in time 754 00:43:19,880 --> 00:43:23,270 # For fallin ' prey to crime, I swear The system got you victim to your own mind 755 00:43:23,480 --> 00:43:26,472 # Dreams are hopeless aspirations In hopes of comin ' true 756 00:43:26,680 --> 00:43:28,716 # Believe in yourself The rest is up to me and 757 00:43:28,920 --> 00:43:31,639 # Don't go chasin' waterfalls 758 00:43:31,840 --> 00:43:34,274 - Whoo! - Whoo, yeah, Kenny! 759 00:43:34,480 --> 00:43:36,038 Where did you learn to do that? 760 00:43:36,240 --> 00:43:37,673 Yeah, whatever. 761 00:44:01,800 --> 00:44:02,835 Se�or Chacon. 762 00:44:04,800 --> 00:44:06,518 We were not expecting you. 763 00:44:06,720 --> 00:44:10,633 I decided to bring the gringo myself to make sure everything goes as planned. 764 00:44:10,840 --> 00:44:14,913 But the gringo has already left with the shipment, se�or. 765 00:44:15,200 --> 00:44:16,269 What gringo? 766 00:44:16,480 --> 00:44:18,436 The gringo with the haircut of a donkey. 767 00:44:19,360 --> 00:44:21,715 You mean this gringo with the haircut of a donkey. 768 00:44:22,760 --> 00:44:23,988 I have failed you, se�or. 769 00:44:24,200 --> 00:44:26,714 If you saw this gringo again would you recognize him? 770 00:44:27,080 --> 00:44:29,913 He was driving an RV with his family. 771 00:44:30,280 --> 00:44:31,679 Get in the car. 772 00:44:53,720 --> 00:44:55,676 Oh, how fast are you going? 773 00:44:56,640 --> 00:44:59,552 Calm down, I'm going the speed limit. We won't get pulled over. 774 00:44:59,800 --> 00:45:03,588 No, no. I mean, loaded down like this in a 15-ton vehicle... 775 00:45:03,840 --> 00:45:06,149 ...going up a 10 percent grade. 776 00:45:06,760 --> 00:45:10,878 Just use your head, David. I don't think you think things through. 777 00:45:11,080 --> 00:45:14,550 - What? - Weight distribution loading and towing. 778 00:45:14,760 --> 00:45:15,909 - See? - Yeah, I do. 779 00:45:16,120 --> 00:45:17,439 I thought this plan through. 780 00:45:17,640 --> 00:45:19,870 - Seems to be working out. - Oh, great. 781 00:45:22,040 --> 00:45:23,473 Oh, shit! 782 00:45:25,760 --> 00:45:27,512 Seriously. God...! 783 00:45:35,120 --> 00:45:37,076 Was this part of your plan, David? 784 00:45:37,280 --> 00:45:38,349 Damn it. 785 00:45:38,760 --> 00:45:41,558 - Wait, what are we gonna do now? - I don't kno... 786 00:45:41,800 --> 00:45:43,028 I can't even get a signal. 787 00:45:43,840 --> 00:45:46,479 No shit. We're in the fucking middle of nowhere, dude. 788 00:45:46,720 --> 00:45:48,358 Oh, gee, thank you, Casey. 789 00:45:48,560 --> 00:45:51,154 Thank you for your amazing problem solving skills. So helpful. 790 00:45:51,360 --> 00:45:52,634 Whoa. Hey, what are you doing? 791 00:45:52,840 --> 00:45:56,276 I'm not gonna stand on the side of the road next to an RV filled with pot. 792 00:45:56,520 --> 00:45:57,794 I'm gonna try to find help. 793 00:45:58,000 --> 00:46:01,151 - Yeah, fuck this. I'm going with her. Bye. - What? 794 00:46:01,400 --> 00:46:03,994 - Wait up! - Ugh. Ridiculous! 795 00:46:04,640 --> 00:46:08,235 Okay. Actually, that's fine. Good idea. Okay, hurry back though, please. 796 00:46:08,440 --> 00:46:11,876 "Oh, I have a plan. " Really? Good plan. You don't have any plans. 797 00:46:14,520 --> 00:46:15,794 Women, am I right? 798 00:46:16,880 --> 00:46:18,518 Shut the fuck up, Kenny. 799 00:46:20,760 --> 00:46:24,389 And he's so smug. Ugh. He drives me crazy. 800 00:46:24,600 --> 00:46:25,919 Well, yeah, he's an idiot. 801 00:46:26,120 --> 00:46:28,475 No, he's not an idiot. He's actually kind of smart. 802 00:46:28,720 --> 00:46:29,914 Why are you defending him? 803 00:46:30,120 --> 00:46:32,315 I'm not defending him. I'm just saying that he... 804 00:46:32,520 --> 00:46:36,274 Have you seen where we are? This whole plan is so stupid. 805 00:46:36,520 --> 00:46:37,635 Oh, really? 806 00:46:37,840 --> 00:46:41,116 What golden advice did you follow that ended with you on the streets? 807 00:46:41,360 --> 00:46:44,636 I don't live on the streets, okay? I crash with friends. 808 00:46:44,840 --> 00:46:46,910 Ah. Okay. I see. 809 00:46:47,120 --> 00:46:49,873 So you were kind of between couches when David and Kenny found you. 810 00:46:50,080 --> 00:46:52,230 Are you gonna lecture me? Seriously, I'll puke. 811 00:46:52,440 --> 00:46:54,158 You know what, I'm not lecturing you. 812 00:46:54,360 --> 00:46:56,999 Okay, good. Because I don't need advice from a stripper. 813 00:46:57,200 --> 00:46:58,758 All right, you know what you little shit? I swear... 814 00:47:00,360 --> 00:47:01,759 What the hell is this? 815 00:47:03,160 --> 00:47:05,958 Well, look at this cute little couple of hitchhikers. 816 00:47:06,160 --> 00:47:07,559 We're here to save your bacon. 817 00:47:07,800 --> 00:47:10,234 Saddle up, little ladies. Ha-ha-ha! 818 00:47:10,440 --> 00:47:12,431 Hey. Hi, what's going on? 819 00:47:12,680 --> 00:47:16,229 They pulled up right after you guys left. They're gonna tow us to a mechanic. 820 00:47:16,440 --> 00:47:18,351 They keeping asking to hold the weed baby. 821 00:47:18,600 --> 00:47:20,909 All right, all right, calm down. Okay. 822 00:47:21,120 --> 00:47:24,590 Just calm down, all right? I got this. Watch. 823 00:47:25,600 --> 00:47:27,431 I'm holding that baby. 824 00:47:27,640 --> 00:47:30,757 Edie, you will, I promise, but it's nap time for LeBron. 825 00:47:30,960 --> 00:47:32,029 Come on, guys, let's go. 826 00:47:32,280 --> 00:47:35,397 All aboard the Fitzgerald Express. Honk, honk! 827 00:47:35,600 --> 00:47:38,068 - Ha-ha-ha! - Toot, toot! 828 00:47:39,120 --> 00:47:41,554 It's like we're pretending it's a train, but it's not. 829 00:47:49,040 --> 00:47:50,519 - Surrounded by goblins. - Okay. 830 00:47:50,760 --> 00:47:51,954 Oh, oh, oh! 831 00:47:52,160 --> 00:47:54,754 One more sec, okay? Hold on, one second. Don't freak. 832 00:47:54,960 --> 00:47:56,632 When you're a synchronized swimmer... 833 00:47:56,840 --> 00:47:59,070 ...you can't use a maxi pad, you can see it. 834 00:47:59,280 --> 00:48:01,111 So my friend bought me a box of tampins. 835 00:48:01,320 --> 00:48:03,834 And I'll tell you, I had a hard time inserting those. 836 00:48:04,040 --> 00:48:06,110 - It would just stick halfway out. - Mm-hm. 837 00:48:06,360 --> 00:48:08,112 - It was just like a Roman candle. - Mm-hm. 838 00:48:08,440 --> 00:48:11,557 And that is how I found out I was born with a shallow vagina. 839 00:48:13,360 --> 00:48:17,558 - That was such a detailed story, Edie. - Thank you! 840 00:48:17,760 --> 00:48:22,436 You gotta do a one-woman show. It's, like, so many layers, you know? 841 00:48:23,480 --> 00:48:25,675 So, what's your story, David? 842 00:48:25,920 --> 00:48:27,717 - What do you mean? - How'd you two meet? 843 00:48:27,960 --> 00:48:30,474 Ah! Honey, tell her. 844 00:48:30,680 --> 00:48:33,240 And don't leave out any of the romantic parts. 845 00:48:33,600 --> 00:48:34,919 Okay. All right. 846 00:48:35,120 --> 00:48:37,236 Where did we first meet. Um... 847 00:48:37,440 --> 00:48:38,793 It's great. 848 00:48:39,000 --> 00:48:42,629 Well, that would have been when Rose moved into my apartment building. 849 00:48:42,840 --> 00:48:44,671 - Ah. That's right. - Mm-hm. 850 00:48:46,280 --> 00:48:49,431 I remember watching her through the crack in my door as she was- 851 00:48:49,640 --> 00:48:50,914 Wait, you were spying on me? 852 00:48:51,120 --> 00:48:53,873 Now, hon, just because you've heard it a thousand times... 853 00:48:54,080 --> 00:48:56,275 ...doesn't mean you should interrupt. Don't be rude. 854 00:48:56,840 --> 00:48:58,990 All right. Proceed. 855 00:48:59,840 --> 00:49:01,398 But, yeah, I was spying on her. 856 00:49:01,600 --> 00:49:03,955 She was unloading this U-Haul all by herself. 857 00:49:04,400 --> 00:49:08,473 I wanna go help her, but I don't wanna come off like I'm hitting on her, because... 858 00:49:09,080 --> 00:49:11,913 ...you know, I'd like to hit on her maybe at some point. 859 00:49:13,120 --> 00:49:15,270 And, uh... 860 00:49:15,480 --> 00:49:20,873 ...she was wearing these little navy blue Chuck Taylors and these jean shorts. 861 00:49:21,080 --> 00:49:23,594 No pockets on the back, however that happened. 862 00:49:23,800 --> 00:49:27,031 And this, uh, Tom Waits T-shirt. 863 00:49:27,240 --> 00:49:28,958 I was like, "Oh, that's cool. " 864 00:49:29,160 --> 00:49:30,673 Because I love Tom Waits. 865 00:49:30,880 --> 00:49:32,791 And she just looked beautiful. 866 00:49:37,840 --> 00:49:39,990 If you're into that kind of mean, pretty thing. 867 00:49:42,560 --> 00:49:43,595 So, anyway, uh... 868 00:49:43,800 --> 00:49:48,476 ...she starts to bring up this really big weird-looking painting up the stairs. 869 00:49:48,680 --> 00:49:52,514 And I'm like, "Okay, here's my shot. " All right, so I go outside... 870 00:49:52,720 --> 00:49:56,030 ...and I help her with it. I'm trying to, at least. 871 00:49:56,240 --> 00:49:57,958 She looks at me and goes: "Stop it!" 872 00:49:58,160 --> 00:50:00,515 - She just snaps at me. - You started yanking at it. 873 00:50:00,760 --> 00:50:02,671 Next thing you know, it's a tug of war... 874 00:50:02,880 --> 00:50:05,075 ...pulling it back and forth and out of nowhere... 875 00:50:05,280 --> 00:50:08,431 His fat fist goes right through the canvas. 876 00:50:08,640 --> 00:50:11,791 - But it was an accident. - Doesn't matter! You ruined my painting. 877 00:50:12,000 --> 00:50:14,912 Okay. Honestly, I really think you should've thanked me. 878 00:50:15,120 --> 00:50:17,190 Yeah, because that painting was hideous. 879 00:50:18,760 --> 00:50:21,320 My grandfather painted that painting. 880 00:50:21,520 --> 00:50:24,318 And it was my favorite thing in the entire world. 881 00:50:25,720 --> 00:50:28,678 So we get in this screaming match in front of the whole building. 882 00:50:28,920 --> 00:50:31,195 And everybody comes out and is watching it. 883 00:50:31,480 --> 00:50:33,596 I mean, from that moment, we hated each other. 884 00:50:33,840 --> 00:50:35,273 Oh, man. 885 00:50:36,600 --> 00:50:40,354 - And then you fell in love. Oh! - Yeah. Then we fell in love. 886 00:50:40,560 --> 00:50:44,599 - Ha, ha! - Hey, now. I think this is our exit. 887 00:50:44,800 --> 00:50:47,268 David, could you grab me the map out of the glove box? 888 00:50:47,800 --> 00:50:49,119 Yes, sir. 889 00:50:49,880 --> 00:50:52,599 - Whoa. Whoa. Uh... - Whoa! 890 00:50:52,800 --> 00:50:55,758 Oh, hey, sorry about that, buddy. Didn't mean to scare you there. 891 00:50:55,960 --> 00:50:57,791 That's just my service pistol and badge. 892 00:50:58,000 --> 00:51:00,070 Oh. Your badge. 893 00:51:00,680 --> 00:51:03,114 - Are you a cop? - No, no, no. 894 00:51:03,320 --> 00:51:04,958 No? Oh, God. 895 00:51:06,080 --> 00:51:07,274 - I'm in the DEA. - Oh. 896 00:51:13,240 --> 00:51:16,118 Yeah, my Don has been an agent for the last 22 years. 897 00:51:16,320 --> 00:51:17,992 On a bit of a hiatus at the moment. 898 00:51:18,200 --> 00:51:21,078 They took him out of the field, he wasn't aggressive enough. 899 00:51:21,280 --> 00:51:23,475 - That's enough. - I'm sorry. It's not right, Don. 900 00:51:23,720 --> 00:51:26,757 Those young guns aren't half the agent you are, those crumb-bums. 901 00:51:26,960 --> 00:51:29,474 Edith, you know how I feel about your cussing. 902 00:51:29,680 --> 00:51:32,877 - I'm sorry, Don. - Edith can be a little hot-blooded at times. 903 00:51:33,080 --> 00:51:35,878 - I'm 1/8 Italian, so... - Oh. It's okay. 904 00:51:37,040 --> 00:51:40,828 Uh, hey, if you guys will excuse me. 905 00:51:41,040 --> 00:51:42,837 - Wanna join me? - Where are you off to? 906 00:51:43,040 --> 00:51:45,349 - We're gonna check on the baby. - Gonna take a dump. 907 00:51:45,560 --> 00:51:47,915 - Check the baby's dumps. - That's what we should say. 908 00:51:48,160 --> 00:51:51,197 - Yeah, just go check on Lebanon. - LeBron. His name's LeBron. 909 00:51:51,400 --> 00:51:54,995 He just has a terrible tummy. And it's just bad diarrhea stuff. 910 00:51:55,200 --> 00:51:56,519 Do we still have cornstarch? 911 00:51:56,720 --> 00:51:58,950 Yeah, there's cornstarch for his bottom. 912 00:51:59,160 --> 00:52:00,832 - Family meeting. - Yep. 913 00:52:01,840 --> 00:52:03,671 I'm getting my hands on that baby. 914 00:52:06,160 --> 00:52:08,310 He's a narc? Are you fucking kidding me?! 915 00:52:08,680 --> 00:52:11,990 Stop panicking! We haven't done anything suspicious yet, so just relax! 916 00:52:12,280 --> 00:52:15,636 Oh, really? Okay. What about when they wanna hold our precious weed baby? 917 00:52:15,840 --> 00:52:17,159 Give me the baby, all right? 918 00:52:17,400 --> 00:52:19,709 I'll handle it if it happens. I'll take care of it. 919 00:52:19,920 --> 00:52:23,469 Right now, all we have to do is get away from that fucked up family. 920 00:52:23,840 --> 00:52:25,478 Oh, fuck. Why are we stopping? 921 00:52:25,680 --> 00:52:29,150 They heard us. They heard us. Fuck, we're going to jail. 922 00:52:31,880 --> 00:52:34,030 No, no, no. We're just at the garage, okay? 923 00:52:34,240 --> 00:52:37,198 Everybody calm down. We haven't done anything. You're right. 924 00:52:37,400 --> 00:52:40,915 I'll ditch this guy real fast. We're gonna get in and get out of here, okay? 925 00:52:41,120 --> 00:52:43,759 Game face, okay? Miller time. Here we go. 926 00:52:45,080 --> 00:52:46,672 No other repair shops nearby? 927 00:52:46,880 --> 00:52:50,998 Run by a Christian and open after supper on a Saturday night? No, sir. 928 00:52:51,280 --> 00:52:54,875 Ah, shoot. I'd give you the hose out of our rig and send you on your way... 929 00:52:55,080 --> 00:52:56,752 ...but we'd be stranded ourselves. 930 00:52:57,240 --> 00:53:00,152 Besides, this way we can all get to know each other better. 931 00:53:00,440 --> 00:53:02,715 - What's happening? - They're closed till morning. 932 00:53:03,120 --> 00:53:04,519 Oklahoma. 933 00:53:05,240 --> 00:53:06,275 Oh, God. 934 00:53:06,480 --> 00:53:09,074 You folks can make camp with the Fitzgeralds tonight. 935 00:53:09,280 --> 00:53:13,319 I know a great spot. We'll set up the old tents and you can bed down in our Winni. 936 00:53:13,520 --> 00:53:16,114 - I'll give you a hand with your gear. - No, no, no. 937 00:53:16,320 --> 00:53:18,356 That's okay. Millers carry their own weight. 938 00:53:18,640 --> 00:53:21,552 - I knew I liked you, David. - Kenny, you wanna get our shit? 939 00:53:22,360 --> 00:53:24,590 - Hey. - This will be a hoot. 940 00:53:25,080 --> 00:53:28,277 I'll watch your little one so you and your man can have some snuggle time. 941 00:53:28,480 --> 00:53:30,948 - I don't want you to have to... - I am good with babies. 942 00:53:31,160 --> 00:53:33,549 Nonsense! Oh, give me the baby. Give me that baby! 943 00:53:45,000 --> 00:53:46,035 Shit! 944 00:53:47,480 --> 00:53:48,515 Oh, my God! 945 00:53:49,720 --> 00:53:51,756 Oh, my God! 946 00:53:52,440 --> 00:53:55,637 Oh, my God. Why isn't there blood?! 947 00:53:55,840 --> 00:53:58,718 Oh, my God! What's happening? 948 00:53:58,960 --> 00:54:02,919 Thanks a lot, Mom. Now what am I supposed to use for my health project? 949 00:54:03,120 --> 00:54:05,350 I'm gonna fail and have to go to community college. 950 00:54:05,560 --> 00:54:08,120 - My future's ruined! - Honey. 951 00:54:08,480 --> 00:54:10,311 Mrs. Fitzgerald, are you all right? 952 00:54:10,520 --> 00:54:13,830 - That baby was...? - Oh, did you think that LeBron was...? 953 00:54:14,040 --> 00:54:17,874 - Heh-heh-heh. - No, no, no. LeBron was a sack of herbs. 954 00:54:18,080 --> 00:54:19,672 Oregano and basil mostly. 955 00:54:19,880 --> 00:54:22,599 We were just treating it like a real baby, a summer project. 956 00:54:22,800 --> 00:54:25,109 - Extra credit. - It teaches the students that... 957 00:54:25,360 --> 00:54:26,952 ...nothing ruins your life like children. 958 00:54:27,680 --> 00:54:31,150 Yeah. And it also sends that message to teens, just stick to the big A. 959 00:54:31,360 --> 00:54:33,157 - Yeah, anal. - Abstinence, you meant. 960 00:54:34,400 --> 00:54:36,231 - Neither makes a baby. - He confuses them. 961 00:54:37,040 --> 00:54:39,838 Anyway, I'm so sorry, Edie. We promised our Casey... 962 00:54:40,080 --> 00:54:43,629 ...that we would treat it like a real baby all summer and we went too far. 963 00:54:43,880 --> 00:54:44,915 Got used to it. Sorry. 964 00:54:45,120 --> 00:54:46,633 And so I'm embarrassed, actually. 965 00:54:46,880 --> 00:54:48,518 I think that would scare anybody. 966 00:54:48,760 --> 00:54:52,036 She's very emotional. You should have seen her at the end of Free Willy. 967 00:54:52,240 --> 00:54:53,434 Oh, stop it, Don. 968 00:54:55,880 --> 00:54:57,279 I love that whale. 969 00:54:57,680 --> 00:55:00,114 Well, who loves campfire games? 970 00:55:00,280 --> 00:55:02,111 Oh, Don. 971 00:55:04,840 --> 00:55:07,070 Ladies and gentlemen, it's my pleasure to welcome you... 972 00:55:07,280 --> 00:55:10,397 ...to the annual singing Fitzgerald family jamboree. 973 00:55:11,400 --> 00:55:13,356 Our usual guests couldn't be here this year. 974 00:55:13,760 --> 00:55:17,196 - Uh, they're called the Osmond family. - Ha-ha-ha! 975 00:55:19,800 --> 00:55:25,193 But in their place this year we have the very talented and wonderful Miller family. 976 00:55:26,240 --> 00:55:29,789 Let's get this party started with a Fitzgerald family favorite. 977 00:55:30,400 --> 00:55:33,233 # Breakin' rocks in the hot sun 978 00:55:33,734 --> 00:55:36,668 # I fought the law and the law won 979 00:55:36,978 --> 00:55:39,693 # I fought the law and the law won 980 00:55:39,920 --> 00:55:41,239 It always does. 981 00:55:41,440 --> 00:55:44,716 I needed to steal some money 'Cause I had none 982 00:55:44,880 --> 00:55:47,155 I fought the law and the law won 983 00:55:47,360 --> 00:55:48,395 Now just the Millers. 984 00:55:48,560 --> 00:55:52,030 I fought the law and the law won 985 00:55:52,240 --> 00:55:55,710 I fought the law and the law won 986 00:55:56,680 --> 00:55:59,175 I want you to imagine you committed a felony, 987 00:55:59,551 --> 00:56:02,510 you've been tried and sent to prison... ... and you're standing out in the sun 988 00:56:02,907 --> 00:56:04,903 breaking up rocks with a sledgehammer. And... 989 00:56:04,938 --> 00:56:07,632 # I fought the law and the law won 990 00:56:07,840 --> 00:56:10,638 # I fought the law and the law won 991 00:56:10,840 --> 00:56:12,512 - All right, that's great. - That's good. 992 00:56:12,720 --> 00:56:15,154 - That's fun. Great song. - I love it. That was great. 993 00:56:15,320 --> 00:56:16,878 Great choice. 994 00:56:17,040 --> 00:56:20,350 - Great, kids. - Well, that was an A for effort. 995 00:56:20,560 --> 00:56:23,154 - Whoo! I got the spirit! - That's great. 996 00:56:23,320 --> 00:56:24,548 It's a bird, it's a plane. 997 00:56:24,720 --> 00:56:27,712 - U.S. Air Force, U.S. Air Force. Ollie North! - Take me home to... 998 00:56:27,880 --> 00:56:29,279 Looks like a sea animal. 999 00:56:29,720 --> 00:56:30,835 Hammer tooth shark. 1000 00:56:31,040 --> 00:56:35,591 We wait until they fall asleep and then we sneak into their tent, all right? 1001 00:56:35,800 --> 00:56:37,711 Mm. Cut their throats. 1002 00:56:38,480 --> 00:56:40,357 - What? - What? 1003 00:56:40,560 --> 00:56:42,357 No. Jesus. 1004 00:56:42,680 --> 00:56:44,557 - What the fuck's wrong with you? - Nothing. 1005 00:56:44,760 --> 00:56:48,230 I wasn't saying to do that. I didn't say that. I thought you were gonna it. 1006 00:56:48,440 --> 00:56:50,829 You thought I was gonna say "cut their throats"? 1007 00:56:51,280 --> 00:56:53,669 Who do you think I am, Scarface? Give me a break. 1008 00:56:53,880 --> 00:56:55,711 - Herbert Walker Bush! - Paper airplanes! 1009 00:56:56,320 --> 00:56:57,639 Clowns. Clown sandwich. 1010 00:56:57,840 --> 00:56:59,432 Don't lock the baby in the basement. 1011 00:56:59,680 --> 00:57:02,717 What I was gonna say: We sneak into the tent, steal Don's keys... 1012 00:57:02,920 --> 00:57:06,674 ...then we take the RV back to the shop and I can swap out their radiator hose for ours. 1013 00:57:06,880 --> 00:57:08,916 Ah. Got it. 1014 00:57:09,120 --> 00:57:11,873 - The Earth! The Earth is on fire! - Atmosphere. 1015 00:57:12,080 --> 00:57:13,354 Uh... 1016 00:57:13,560 --> 00:57:14,675 Plain and simple. 1017 00:57:14,880 --> 00:57:16,472 Al Qaeda! Al Qaeda! 1018 00:57:18,400 --> 00:57:19,628 It was "plain and simple. " 1019 00:57:19,840 --> 00:57:25,119 - See, this was a plane, and then this w- - Oh, Melissa, of course it was. 1020 00:57:25,480 --> 00:57:26,708 That is so clever. 1021 00:57:26,960 --> 00:57:28,678 Gosh, I thought it was really good. 1022 00:57:29,400 --> 00:57:31,231 I'm a terrible drawer, so... 1023 00:57:32,440 --> 00:57:34,317 - Great, because you're up next. - Ah. 1024 00:57:36,280 --> 00:57:38,396 - Passing the baton. - Nice work. 1025 00:57:38,640 --> 00:57:40,392 Okay. Let's go, Kenny. 1026 00:57:40,640 --> 00:57:42,358 All right, Kenny, here we go. 1027 00:57:42,600 --> 00:57:44,875 - Draw your brains out. - All right, that's a line. 1028 00:57:45,080 --> 00:57:47,230 - A slash. Guns and Roses. - Looks like a spring. 1029 00:57:47,480 --> 00:57:50,517 What is that? That's a- Kenny, come on, draw something, buddy. 1030 00:57:50,720 --> 00:57:51,835 - String. - Come on, son. 1031 00:57:52,040 --> 00:57:54,554 - Rocket. It's a rocket or... - Is that a cucumber? 1032 00:57:54,760 --> 00:57:56,034 This is really stupid. 1033 00:57:56,280 --> 00:57:58,874 Is it a bad drawing, Kenny? My guess is "bad drawing. " 1034 00:57:59,400 --> 00:58:02,631 - It's... - Oh! A penis! A penis. 1035 00:58:03,200 --> 00:58:06,237 It's a big dick. Those are balls. 1036 00:58:06,440 --> 00:58:09,637 It's a big black dick! It's a drawing. Black! It's a big black dick. 1037 00:58:10,600 --> 00:58:12,875 It's a big, big black cock! 1038 00:58:13,640 --> 00:58:14,789 Black Cock Down! 1039 00:58:19,960 --> 00:58:21,188 It's a skateboard. 1040 00:58:21,480 --> 00:58:24,233 - It's a skateboard, great. - A skateboard. Of course it is. 1041 00:58:24,440 --> 00:58:27,352 - It's a big black skateboard. - I see it. 1042 00:58:27,600 --> 00:58:30,592 Of course. It's very clear. But, you see, it was up... There's... 1043 00:58:30,800 --> 00:58:34,031 Its wheels, so I didn't see it down on the ground, and then it... 1044 00:58:37,920 --> 00:58:40,639 Black Cock Down? Black Cock Down? 1045 00:58:40,840 --> 00:58:43,479 Nice job, Meryl Streep. Very subtle character work. 1046 00:58:43,680 --> 00:58:45,671 Not my fault that Kenny can't draw. 1047 00:58:45,880 --> 00:58:47,552 Don't you pick on Kenny. 1048 00:58:47,760 --> 00:58:50,149 Nothing about that looked like a skateboard. 1049 00:58:50,360 --> 00:58:53,193 You leave him alone. Where the hell's Kenny? 1050 00:58:53,400 --> 00:58:55,470 - You guys, come here. - What? 1051 00:58:55,680 --> 00:58:57,352 - What's going on? - Look at these two. 1052 00:58:57,560 --> 00:58:59,391 - Aww. - Uh-oh. 1053 00:59:02,160 --> 00:59:04,799 - Guess I'm not the best drawer. - No, you were great. 1054 00:59:05,000 --> 00:59:07,036 - I knew that was a skateboard. - Yeah. 1055 00:59:07,400 --> 00:59:10,312 - I don't know where the confusion was. - No, I... That... 1056 00:59:10,640 --> 00:59:12,119 Yeah. 1057 00:59:13,040 --> 00:59:16,077 I, um, really like your family. They're, uh... 1058 00:59:16,320 --> 00:59:19,869 - They're different. - Well, they're not my family. I mean... 1059 00:59:20,080 --> 00:59:21,559 Yeah, no, I get what you mean. 1060 00:59:21,760 --> 00:59:23,671 - She wants him to kiss her. - Absolutely. 1061 00:59:23,880 --> 00:59:27,190 - She does, right? - And sometimes I feel like I'm adopted... 1062 00:59:27,400 --> 00:59:29,516 ...or an alien, you know, or something. 1063 00:59:29,720 --> 00:59:32,632 Right. That's what I meant. Um... 1064 00:59:32,880 --> 00:59:35,394 But also, you know, I would totally adopt you. 1065 00:59:35,920 --> 00:59:37,114 You know, um... 1066 00:59:38,640 --> 00:59:41,916 Not that I wanna be your daddy. I just, uh... 1067 00:59:42,400 --> 00:59:44,595 - He's talking too much. - He won't shut up. 1068 00:59:47,040 --> 00:59:48,314 Uh, well, good night. 1069 00:59:50,560 --> 00:59:52,312 - I'll see you. - Okay. Um... 1070 00:59:52,800 --> 00:59:53,949 Fucking hug. 1071 00:59:54,160 --> 00:59:55,229 Okay. 1072 00:59:56,680 --> 00:59:57,715 And, uh, Melissa? 1073 00:59:58,600 --> 01:00:01,592 - Yeah? - Uh, watch out for bears. 1074 01:00:01,800 --> 01:00:05,395 Um, you know. Can't see them coming. 1075 01:00:06,000 --> 01:00:07,274 Good tip. 1076 01:00:13,880 --> 01:00:16,838 That poor kid. Well, you should go talk to him. 1077 01:00:17,280 --> 01:00:18,474 Who? 1078 01:00:19,480 --> 01:00:21,277 I said you should go... Well, who do you think? 1079 01:00:21,480 --> 01:00:23,391 Me? What the hell am I gonna say? 1080 01:00:23,600 --> 01:00:25,318 Talk to him about guy stuff. 1081 01:00:25,880 --> 01:00:28,917 - Jesus fucking Christ. - Come on, how hard is it? Just go. 1082 01:00:34,280 --> 01:00:37,158 - Hey, man, how you doing? - Hey. 1083 01:00:37,400 --> 01:00:39,391 - Anybody sitting here? - Uh, no. 1084 01:00:39,600 --> 01:00:42,637 Well, good, good, good, good. All right. 1085 01:00:44,080 --> 01:00:45,479 So, um... 1086 01:00:46,520 --> 01:00:49,512 ...I saw what just happened with you and Melissa. 1087 01:00:50,240 --> 01:00:51,912 - Oh. - Um... 1088 01:00:52,160 --> 01:00:56,790 You know, you don't have to be scared to kiss a girl. Heh-heh. 1089 01:00:57,040 --> 01:01:01,318 I mean, you damn near sucked a guy's dick nine hours ago. What are you shy now for? 1090 01:01:02,040 --> 01:01:03,632 That's not funny, David. 1091 01:01:06,320 --> 01:01:09,118 I'm sorry. I'm sorry. 1092 01:01:09,920 --> 01:01:12,036 It was a bad joke. Ahem. 1093 01:01:14,320 --> 01:01:17,073 You wanna know something I used to do when I was your age... 1094 01:01:17,280 --> 01:01:19,475 ...kept me from getting nervous around girls? 1095 01:01:20,200 --> 01:01:23,431 - Yeah. - I would just count to three. 1096 01:01:24,360 --> 01:01:26,271 - Count to three? - Yeah. 1097 01:01:26,840 --> 01:01:29,559 - That's your big advice? Count to three? - Yeah. 1098 01:01:29,760 --> 01:01:33,958 I mean, if you ever wanna kiss a girl or ask her to go out, or I mean... 1099 01:01:34,160 --> 01:01:37,675 Actually, if you get scared of anything, just do this: just count to three... 1100 01:01:37,920 --> 01:01:39,239 ...and then do it. 1101 01:01:40,200 --> 01:01:44,751 Because if you take too long, you overthink it and you'll just drive yourself crazy. 1102 01:01:44,960 --> 01:01:46,791 Trust me, it'll change your life. 1103 01:01:48,160 --> 01:01:49,912 I guess that makes sense. 1104 01:01:51,160 --> 01:01:53,515 - Thanks. - Yeah. No problem. 1105 01:01:53,720 --> 01:01:57,110 And, you know, if you have any other questions... 1106 01:01:57,320 --> 01:01:59,276 ...about, like, the birds and the bees... 1107 01:01:59,520 --> 01:02:02,159 ...who puts what into where, any of that fun stuff... 1108 01:02:02,400 --> 01:02:04,994 ...just don't hesitate to ask, okay? 1109 01:02:05,240 --> 01:02:06,275 - Okay. - Okay. 1110 01:02:06,560 --> 01:02:07,913 - Good talk. - Yeah, good talk. 1111 01:02:08,160 --> 01:02:09,991 Oh, my back. 1112 01:02:10,560 --> 01:02:12,915 - So old. - Yeah. 1113 01:02:35,400 --> 01:02:39,871 Wait. You go in. I'll keep a lookout, okay? Good. 1114 01:02:40,080 --> 01:02:43,709 Fuck you. This was your idea. You're going the fuck in there. 1115 01:02:43,920 --> 01:02:45,558 Why are you yelling at me? 1116 01:02:45,760 --> 01:02:47,796 I am not yelling at you. 1117 01:02:48,000 --> 01:02:50,434 Okay. Okay. 1118 01:02:52,320 --> 01:02:53,548 Watch. 1119 01:03:09,120 --> 01:03:10,519 Bin Laden! 1120 01:03:11,680 --> 01:03:13,193 What's happening? Is it raccoons? 1121 01:03:14,480 --> 01:03:15,629 God. 1122 01:03:16,120 --> 01:03:17,678 You were right about them, Edith. 1123 01:03:17,880 --> 01:03:19,632 - No. I'm so sorry. - Let me explain. 1124 01:03:19,840 --> 01:03:21,239 This is completely explainable. 1125 01:03:21,480 --> 01:03:23,710 - A misunderstanding. - We didn't mean to do this. 1126 01:03:25,400 --> 01:03:27,709 - You just have to understand something. - Mm-hm, mm-hm. 1127 01:03:30,040 --> 01:03:33,430 We have never done anything like this with another couple before. 1128 01:03:34,240 --> 01:03:35,639 Uh-huh. 1129 01:03:35,840 --> 01:03:38,434 That's no judgment on you. We're no squares. 1130 01:03:38,640 --> 01:03:40,790 - I own a vibrator. - That's right, she does. 1131 01:03:41,680 --> 01:03:43,272 - Awesome. - I wasn't for it at first. 1132 01:03:43,480 --> 01:03:46,438 The darn thing's made in China, for cripes' sake... 1133 01:03:46,640 --> 01:03:51,350 ...but when you've been married this long you look for anything to spice things up. 1134 01:03:51,560 --> 01:03:55,394 So, of course we've discussed a scenario like this. 1135 01:03:55,640 --> 01:03:59,713 Yes. And tonight when you brought up that big black "babymaker"... 1136 01:04:00,720 --> 01:04:02,836 - Well, we got it. - Loud and clear. 1137 01:04:03,040 --> 01:04:05,349 Our vibrator is named "Joe Morgan. " 1138 01:04:05,880 --> 01:04:08,713 We were picking up what you were putting down. 1139 01:04:09,080 --> 01:04:11,036 - Same page. - Interesting. 1140 01:04:11,280 --> 01:04:15,319 We're very flattered by this, but right now, in the middle of the night... 1141 01:04:15,520 --> 01:04:18,910 ...I'm not sure I'm really ready for it. Aw, Don. 1142 01:04:19,160 --> 01:04:21,435 Got it. Totally understood. Not a problem. 1143 01:04:21,640 --> 01:04:22,993 We just had to ask. So... 1144 01:04:23,200 --> 01:04:24,474 Wait. I have an idea. 1145 01:04:26,320 --> 01:04:30,996 Okay. Maybe I could take a baby step tonight. 1146 01:04:31,200 --> 01:04:33,760 I mean, my mouth is for my marriage. 1147 01:04:34,000 --> 01:04:36,912 But I've never touched another woman before. 1148 01:04:40,040 --> 01:04:43,316 I would be okay with that. Yeah. 1149 01:04:44,040 --> 01:04:45,075 Oh, great. 1150 01:04:45,960 --> 01:04:47,188 Rose? 1151 01:04:48,200 --> 01:04:50,475 - There you go. - Okay. All right, I'm sitting. 1152 01:04:50,760 --> 01:04:52,159 - Are you okay? - David. 1153 01:04:52,400 --> 01:04:55,358 - Mother to mother, is this okay with you? - Yes. "Mother. " Yes. 1154 01:04:55,560 --> 01:04:57,869 - Are you sure? - Let's get this mother started. 1155 01:04:58,120 --> 01:05:00,509 - Shall we? Okay. - Ha-ha-ha! 1156 01:05:00,760 --> 01:05:03,752 - Okay, Don, are you watching? - I'm good. 1157 01:05:04,720 --> 01:05:06,551 Okay. Uh, wow. 1158 01:05:06,760 --> 01:05:09,399 My heart's pounding so fast in my chest. 1159 01:05:09,600 --> 01:05:12,239 - Ahem. So I guess we're swinging. - Hmm? Oh, yeah. 1160 01:05:12,440 --> 01:05:14,271 Ooh. Ha, ha. 1161 01:05:14,480 --> 01:05:15,913 Sorry that I'm taking so long. 1162 01:05:16,120 --> 01:05:18,190 Hello. Ha-ha-ha! 1163 01:05:19,840 --> 01:05:22,877 Okay, I'm just gonna do it real fast. There we go. 1164 01:05:23,600 --> 01:05:24,999 - There they are. - There they are. 1165 01:05:25,200 --> 01:05:28,476 - Wow! Wow! - It's happening. This is happening. 1166 01:05:29,480 --> 01:05:32,552 Don, are you looking at this? I'm touching her boobs. 1167 01:05:32,960 --> 01:05:34,996 - This is a miracle. - Okey-doke. 1168 01:05:35,240 --> 01:05:38,471 - Would you like to feel my breasts? - I think that's enough for tonight. 1169 01:05:38,680 --> 01:05:40,477 - You're right. - Don't give away the farm. 1170 01:05:40,680 --> 01:05:42,432 - A little roughhouse? - We should wait. 1171 01:05:43,280 --> 01:05:45,396 - Are you okay down there? - Yeah, yeah, yeah. 1172 01:05:45,600 --> 01:05:46,999 Have fun tonight, kids. 1173 01:05:48,360 --> 01:05:52,273 - Awesome. - I'm never gonna wash these hands. 1174 01:05:52,480 --> 01:05:53,833 Mwah, mwah, mwah! 1175 01:05:54,400 --> 01:05:55,628 Thank you so much. 1176 01:05:56,040 --> 01:05:58,031 - Good night. That was great. - Okay, bye, guys. 1177 01:05:58,200 --> 01:06:00,191 Great. What now, genius? 1178 01:06:00,360 --> 01:06:02,396 - Tell me- What? - Oh, oh, oh. I don't know. 1179 01:06:02,600 --> 01:06:04,079 I just got earfucked in a tent. 1180 01:06:04,240 --> 01:06:07,038 If you let her finger bang you they would have given us the keys. 1181 01:06:07,200 --> 01:06:09,953 Oh, really? Why don't you go suck Don's dick for them... 1182 01:06:10,120 --> 01:06:13,317 ...and then you get the keys? He was certainly loving on those earlobes. 1183 01:06:13,480 --> 01:06:16,870 Okay, look. First, unlike you, I only suck a man's dick if I'm in love, okay? 1184 01:06:17,040 --> 01:06:18,712 That's kind of a personal rule I have. 1185 01:06:18,880 --> 01:06:21,155 - Yeah, and secondly... And secondly... - What? 1186 01:06:24,160 --> 01:06:27,277 I don't have a second one. I don't know where I was going with that. 1187 01:06:27,440 --> 01:06:29,317 Fucking idiot. 1188 01:06:29,960 --> 01:06:31,871 Oh, I thought of one. I got one. 1189 01:06:35,920 --> 01:06:38,036 Here comes Joe Morgan up to the plate. 1190 01:06:39,480 --> 01:06:40,799 Oh, Don. 1191 01:06:46,400 --> 01:06:47,469 Okay, what? 1192 01:06:49,560 --> 01:06:50,879 What? What do you mean? 1193 01:06:51,080 --> 01:06:52,433 Do you wanna talk about it... 1194 01:06:52,640 --> 01:06:55,393 ...or mope around like someone kicked you in the vagina? 1195 01:06:57,400 --> 01:06:59,311 Okay. Um... 1196 01:06:59,520 --> 01:07:01,556 Well, I've never really like... 1197 01:07:01,760 --> 01:07:03,910 Had sex before. Shocker. 1198 01:07:04,160 --> 01:07:05,639 Kissed a girl before. 1199 01:07:06,240 --> 01:07:09,596 Wait, what? I thought you said you were like 18. 1200 01:07:10,000 --> 01:07:12,389 - Okay, you know what, forget it. - Okay, okay, wait. Okay. 1201 01:07:12,600 --> 01:07:15,592 Come on. Sit down. Don't need to be so dramatic. 1202 01:07:15,840 --> 01:07:18,400 Look, it's okay that you haven't kissed a girl. 1203 01:07:18,600 --> 01:07:20,795 I'm sure there are some girls... 1204 01:07:21,000 --> 01:07:22,752 ...who I've never met... 1205 01:07:23,200 --> 01:07:25,555 ...that find inexperience kind of sweet. 1206 01:07:25,760 --> 01:07:30,151 I don't wanna be a sweet, inexperienced guy who's never been worth kissing. 1207 01:07:30,960 --> 01:07:35,636 I wanna be the guy who grabs a girl and kisses her. You know? 1208 01:07:38,760 --> 01:07:41,433 Okay, let me make one thing clear. 1209 01:07:41,640 --> 01:07:44,677 This isn't one of those moments where the girl kisses the boy... 1210 01:07:44,880 --> 01:07:47,872 ...and realizes she's been in love with him the whole time, okay? 1211 01:07:48,720 --> 01:07:50,836 You're my fake brother and you're a sweet kid... 1212 01:07:51,080 --> 01:07:53,548 ...so this is for you to bring back to Melissa. 1213 01:07:53,760 --> 01:07:55,876 - What is? - I'm gonna kiss you, dingus. 1214 01:07:56,720 --> 01:07:58,233 Oh. 1215 01:07:59,840 --> 01:08:02,479 - What are you doing? Shut your eyes. - Okay, sorry. Right. 1216 01:08:02,720 --> 01:08:04,915 That's weird. That's really weird. 1217 01:08:05,120 --> 01:08:07,156 - Sorry. - All right. Ahem. 1218 01:08:12,800 --> 01:08:14,950 That was okay. Now more tongue. 1219 01:08:15,160 --> 01:08:17,390 Tongue. I can do that. 1220 01:08:20,080 --> 01:08:22,275 Too much tongue. Too much tongue. 1221 01:08:22,720 --> 01:08:26,076 Right. Too much- Yeah, that's my fault. My bad. Sorry. 1222 01:08:28,120 --> 01:08:29,189 Less tongue. 1223 01:08:34,720 --> 01:08:35,755 That was good. 1224 01:08:36,960 --> 01:08:39,872 All right, now this time, I want you to choke me a little bit. 1225 01:08:40,080 --> 01:08:44,039 - Uh, okay. - Whoa. What's going on here? 1226 01:08:44,240 --> 01:08:45,719 Uh, it's... 1227 01:08:45,920 --> 01:08:48,832 - We're not doing what it looks like. - Really? 1228 01:08:49,080 --> 01:08:51,719 It looks like Casey's teaching you how to kiss out of pity. 1229 01:08:51,920 --> 01:08:53,069 Mm-hm. 1230 01:08:53,280 --> 01:08:55,840 Uh, well, then it is what it looks like, yeah. 1231 01:08:56,200 --> 01:08:57,474 Really. 1232 01:08:57,840 --> 01:08:59,273 What did you teach him? 1233 01:08:59,480 --> 01:09:02,392 The basics. He's never kissed a girl before. 1234 01:09:02,880 --> 01:09:05,519 You haven't? Oh. Well, honey, show me. 1235 01:09:05,720 --> 01:09:07,870 - Uh, really? - Yes. 1236 01:09:08,480 --> 01:09:09,595 Okay. Uh... 1237 01:09:12,240 --> 01:09:14,435 Oh. Not bad. 1238 01:09:14,640 --> 01:09:15,993 It's not bad. 1239 01:09:16,480 --> 01:09:18,152 - Try this. - Okay. 1240 01:09:18,360 --> 01:09:19,429 Come here. 1241 01:09:23,000 --> 01:09:24,035 There you go. 1242 01:09:26,280 --> 01:09:28,191 You feel that? What I did with my tongue? 1243 01:09:28,960 --> 01:09:32,157 - Yes, ma'am. - Show Casey what you just learned. 1244 01:09:35,840 --> 01:09:37,398 Look at that. 1245 01:09:38,280 --> 01:09:40,669 Mm! Whoa! 1246 01:09:40,880 --> 01:09:42,108 Wait. Hold on. 1247 01:09:42,360 --> 01:09:46,239 I wanna get a picture of you with the first girl you ever kissed. Here you go. 1248 01:09:46,440 --> 01:09:47,953 - Mm-hm. Make it good. - Good. 1249 01:09:48,200 --> 01:09:51,078 Rose. Get in there. There you go. Photobomb it. 1250 01:09:52,160 --> 01:09:54,594 - This is getting better, it's getting better. - Okay. 1251 01:09:58,600 --> 01:10:00,113 It's so cute. 1252 01:10:00,320 --> 01:10:02,436 Use your hands. They got so much fun stuff to play with. 1253 01:10:02,640 --> 01:10:04,278 You're not using your hands. 1254 01:10:09,160 --> 01:10:10,718 Kenny? 1255 01:10:13,040 --> 01:10:15,270 - No, Melissa... It's, uh... - I'm sorry. 1256 01:10:15,520 --> 01:10:16,999 Melissa, wait. 1257 01:10:18,080 --> 01:10:19,195 Fuck. 1258 01:10:20,480 --> 01:10:23,313 You know, there's a 50-50 chance she'll be into it. 1259 01:10:23,520 --> 01:10:25,431 Redhead. They're crazy. 1260 01:10:34,880 --> 01:10:37,553 Grab your things, guys. Kenny, grab my stuff. Thanks. 1261 01:10:37,720 --> 01:10:40,154 - Here we go. - Well, looks like you're ready to roll. 1262 01:10:40,320 --> 01:10:43,995 Gary called me first thing. He seemed real eager for y'all to come pick her up. 1263 01:10:44,160 --> 01:10:46,833 - Good. Good, good, good. Okay. - Guess this is it, then. 1264 01:10:47,000 --> 01:10:49,753 - Good luck to you, David. - Hey, thank you, Don. Take care, will you? 1265 01:10:49,920 --> 01:10:53,469 Hey, yeah, listen, I would appreciate it if you kept what happened last night... 1266 01:10:53,680 --> 01:10:55,955 ...all that Chinese vibrator talk, between us. 1267 01:10:56,120 --> 01:10:59,157 - Yeah. - If folks at my church found out about that... 1268 01:10:59,320 --> 01:11:02,915 Yeah. Oh, yeah. No, no. I get it. Yeah. No, say no more. Mum's the word, okay? 1269 01:11:03,080 --> 01:11:04,149 Before you go running off... 1270 01:11:04,360 --> 01:11:06,669 - Yeah? - Well, last night notwithstanding... 1271 01:11:06,840 --> 01:11:09,718 ...things bedroom-wise between me and Mrs. Fitzgerald... 1272 01:11:09,880 --> 01:11:12,952 - ... haven't been a real five-alarm fire of late. - Okay. 1273 01:11:13,160 --> 01:11:16,596 Now that I'm not working as much, we have a chance to light the flame again... 1274 01:11:16,760 --> 01:11:19,672 - ... but our matches are wet. - Mm-hm. Mm-hm. 1275 01:11:19,840 --> 01:11:23,071 - If you catch my drift. - I do, yeah. 1276 01:11:23,240 --> 01:11:25,071 Yeah, the matches are genitals. I get it. 1277 01:11:25,240 --> 01:11:28,038 No, I was talking about our passion. 1278 01:11:28,200 --> 01:11:30,270 Right. Sorry, sorry. Of course. That's the way- 1279 01:11:30,440 --> 01:11:32,078 - That's okay. That's all right. - Yeah. 1280 01:11:32,240 --> 01:11:33,912 So we've been looking for new ideas... 1281 01:11:34,080 --> 01:11:37,072 ...and she read on the internet about this finger thing... 1282 01:11:37,240 --> 01:11:40,471 - Don, you don't need to share that with me. - No, no, it's okay. I want to. 1283 01:11:40,640 --> 01:11:42,198 Okay, as long as you're comfortable. 1284 01:11:42,400 --> 01:11:43,913 - I need your advice, David. - Mm-hm. 1285 01:11:44,240 --> 01:11:47,038 You and Rose seem hotter for each other than a couple mice... 1286 01:11:47,200 --> 01:11:49,270 ...having sexual congress in a wool sock. 1287 01:11:49,920 --> 01:11:51,353 - We do? - Yeah. 1288 01:11:51,520 --> 01:11:54,318 You're like newlyweds, the way you keep looking at each other. 1289 01:11:54,920 --> 01:11:57,388 - We are? - Yeah. I guess I just wanna know... 1290 01:11:57,560 --> 01:12:02,509 ...what do you do to keep things exciting after years in the same fishing hole? 1291 01:12:02,680 --> 01:12:04,830 - Hmm. - What's your secret? 1292 01:12:05,200 --> 01:12:06,394 Right. 1293 01:12:06,560 --> 01:12:08,630 - And by fishing hole you mean... - Genitals. 1294 01:12:08,840 --> 01:12:10,068 That's genitals. Okay. Um. 1295 01:12:10,240 --> 01:12:13,357 Yeah, um, my secret? Uh... 1296 01:12:14,280 --> 01:12:16,316 Well, you know what I do, Don? 1297 01:12:16,680 --> 01:12:19,114 I just treat Rose like she's a stripper. 1298 01:12:22,560 --> 01:12:24,039 - No kidding? - No kidding. 1299 01:12:24,200 --> 01:12:26,350 Like she's a dirty, dirty stripper. 1300 01:12:28,520 --> 01:12:30,112 Okay. Heh-heh-heh. 1301 01:12:30,320 --> 01:12:31,753 Dirtier the better. Heh. 1302 01:12:31,920 --> 01:12:34,070 - Heh, heh. - Okay, watch your step. 1303 01:12:34,480 --> 01:12:37,119 It surprise- It sneaks up on you. 1304 01:12:37,520 --> 01:12:38,714 Everyone got your bags? 1305 01:12:39,240 --> 01:12:42,835 Oh. I am so sorry that Melissa isn't here to say goodbye. 1306 01:12:43,080 --> 01:12:44,593 She just won't come out of that bedroom. 1307 01:12:44,800 --> 01:12:47,598 You know, she's been sick to her tummy ever since last night. 1308 01:12:47,840 --> 01:12:51,116 - I think it was something that she ate. - Just tell her I'm really sorry. 1309 01:12:51,320 --> 01:12:52,639 - Oh, sure. - Oh. 1310 01:12:53,120 --> 01:12:54,439 Sure will. 1311 01:12:56,240 --> 01:12:58,117 Oh, so sweet, kids. 1312 01:13:00,320 --> 01:13:02,390 You'll always be my special lover. 1313 01:13:04,000 --> 01:13:06,070 Ow! Oh, Edie. 1314 01:13:07,280 --> 01:13:08,508 Bye! 1315 01:13:08,720 --> 01:13:11,553 - Happy birthday, America! - Bye! 1316 01:13:11,760 --> 01:13:13,512 - See ya, now! - Bye-bye, now. 1317 01:13:15,880 --> 01:13:17,552 - Thank you. - Bye. 1318 01:13:17,760 --> 01:13:21,548 Let's get out of here. You guys, go to the RV. I'll get the keys from Skeeter. 1319 01:13:26,040 --> 01:13:27,439 Hello?! 1320 01:13:32,000 --> 01:13:33,797 Hey, Brad, I was just gonna call you. 1321 01:13:34,160 --> 01:13:36,196 Where are you? Thought you'd be here by now. 1322 01:13:36,360 --> 01:13:37,793 I told you I needed it today. 1323 01:13:37,960 --> 01:13:41,430 No, I know that. No, we just had a little bit of engine trouble's all, okay? 1324 01:13:42,319 --> 01:13:44,278 We're gonna be on the road in five minutes, 1325 01:13:44,530 --> 01:13:46,577 at your front door in just a few hours, okay? 1326 01:13:46,612 --> 01:13:47,798 Nothing stopping us now. 1327 01:13:48,240 --> 01:13:49,673 What the fuck? 1328 01:13:51,760 --> 01:13:53,398 Hand me the phone. 1329 01:13:53,560 --> 01:13:55,949 Uh, Brad, can you hold on for a sec? 1330 01:13:56,320 --> 01:13:58,311 All right, let's not do anything rash. 1331 01:13:58,680 --> 01:14:01,194 - I'm David, what's your name? - Pablo Chacon. 1332 01:14:01,360 --> 01:14:03,476 Shut the fuck up. Stop, stop. 1333 01:14:03,640 --> 01:14:06,359 - Hola, Brad. - Pablo! 1334 01:14:08,480 --> 01:14:11,040 You send this amateur fuck-up to steal from me? 1335 01:14:11,200 --> 01:14:13,919 Listen, I don't know what David told you- Hello? 1336 01:14:15,000 --> 01:14:17,673 I would have loved to say good-bye to him. 1337 01:14:24,880 --> 01:14:25,915 Pablo Chacon. 1338 01:14:26,760 --> 01:14:29,797 Turns out there's a real Pablo Chacon and we stole from him. 1339 01:14:29,960 --> 01:14:33,794 So this is probably gonna end well, I would imagine. 1340 01:14:35,800 --> 01:14:37,995 I'll be right back. 1341 01:14:38,520 --> 01:14:39,555 No rush. 1342 01:14:41,280 --> 01:14:44,477 I thought you said we were picking up drugs for Pablo Chacon. 1343 01:14:44,640 --> 01:14:47,279 I thought we were. Brad told me he was Pablo Chacon. 1344 01:14:47,440 --> 01:14:49,670 - Why do you trust that guy? - I don't, okay? 1345 01:14:49,880 --> 01:14:52,155 Can you guys stop bickering for five seconds? 1346 01:14:52,320 --> 01:14:54,470 Okay, how did he even find us? 1347 01:14:54,640 --> 01:14:56,119 - We don't know. - I don't know. 1348 01:14:56,280 --> 01:14:57,554 With this. 1349 01:14:59,600 --> 01:15:02,512 Cool, is that a transmitter? That's like a... 1350 01:15:02,760 --> 01:15:04,955 You put that in the RV, huh? In one of the bags? 1351 01:15:05,120 --> 01:15:09,318 - How could you not think of that? - Because I don't know what I'm doing! 1352 01:15:09,520 --> 01:15:11,795 - Have you not figured that out? - Silence! 1353 01:15:15,040 --> 01:15:16,598 You all die now. 1354 01:15:16,760 --> 01:15:19,069 But together as a family, with honor. 1355 01:15:19,800 --> 01:15:24,191 But we're not even a real family, okay? I don't even know these people. 1356 01:15:25,760 --> 01:15:28,991 She's right. That's absolutely right. No, no. We're not related at all, any of us. 1357 01:15:29,160 --> 01:15:30,513 No. We're just friends. 1358 01:15:30,680 --> 01:15:32,557 - No, we're not... - We are not friends! 1359 01:15:32,720 --> 01:15:35,154 Look, I'm just a small-time fucking drug dealer. 1360 01:15:35,320 --> 01:15:36,673 I sell dime bags, all right? 1361 01:15:36,880 --> 01:15:40,475 My daughter here is just a homeless gutter punk, all right? 1362 01:15:40,680 --> 01:15:44,878 And my son is just a fucking dork that lives in my building. We don't look alike! 1363 01:15:45,040 --> 01:15:47,713 - Not related. - A virgin, okay? And my "wife"? 1364 01:15:48,160 --> 01:15:49,957 I mean, she's just a cheap stripper. 1365 01:15:50,120 --> 01:15:52,076 Hey, thanks, David. Nice. 1366 01:15:52,240 --> 01:15:54,800 - We will not do anything if... - Wait, wait. Heh. 1367 01:15:54,960 --> 01:15:57,838 In the capri pants and the sensible footwear, a stripper? 1368 01:15:59,080 --> 01:16:00,195 Yes. 1369 01:16:01,240 --> 01:16:02,355 That's right, I am... 1370 01:16:03,320 --> 01:16:04,878 ...Mr. Chacon. 1371 01:16:05,720 --> 01:16:07,915 Just give me one chance... 1372 01:16:08,120 --> 01:16:13,194 ...to prove to you that I'm worth way more alive than I am dead. 1373 01:16:20,720 --> 01:16:25,271 # Sweet 1374 01:16:25,440 --> 01:16:30,150 # Emotion 1375 01:16:30,320 --> 01:16:33,118 # Talk about things And nobody cares 1376 01:16:35,640 --> 01:16:37,995 # Wearing hot things That nobody wears 1377 01:16:45,240 --> 01:16:48,312 # Some sweat hog knew She's a real good liar 1378 01:16:49,880 --> 01:16:53,077 # 'Cause the backstage boogie Set your pants on fire 1379 01:16:57,840 --> 01:17:01,753 # Sweet 1380 01:17:01,920 --> 01:17:06,471 # Emotion 1381 01:17:06,680 --> 01:17:11,390 # Sweet 1382 01:17:11,600 --> 01:17:15,309 # Emotion 1383 01:17:16,440 --> 01:17:19,398 # You stand in the front Just a shakin ' your ass 1384 01:17:21,400 --> 01:17:24,597 # I'll take you backstage You'll be drinking my glass 1385 01:17:26,240 --> 01:17:29,357 # I'm talkin' about something You can sure understand 1386 01:17:43,920 --> 01:17:46,070 Have some respect, it's your mother. 1387 01:18:19,360 --> 01:18:20,759 Get in the RV! Go, go, go! 1388 01:18:28,440 --> 01:18:29,475 Why are we fighting? 1389 01:18:34,600 --> 01:18:36,238 - Do you know how to drive this? - No. 1390 01:18:37,280 --> 01:18:38,508 No weapons. Here we go. 1391 01:18:38,720 --> 01:18:40,870 - Hurry! - I don't know how it works. 1392 01:18:43,520 --> 01:18:44,839 Fuck! 1393 01:18:49,560 --> 01:18:52,279 - What just happened? - I knocked him out. Let's go. 1394 01:18:52,480 --> 01:18:53,629 - You did not. - Yes, I did. 1395 01:18:57,720 --> 01:18:59,233 Come on, Rose, come on. Come on! 1396 01:19:02,720 --> 01:19:03,994 - Look out! - Oh, no, please. 1397 01:19:10,440 --> 01:19:12,431 Kenny! Kenny, give me the wheel! 1398 01:19:12,680 --> 01:19:14,033 No, do not pull over! 1399 01:19:15,320 --> 01:19:18,039 Go this way! No, no, no. Don't get on the freeway. 1400 01:19:18,240 --> 01:19:20,674 - Kenny, just let me in. - I can't. I'll stop. 1401 01:19:20,880 --> 01:19:22,359 Don't stop! You can't stop. 1402 01:19:22,560 --> 01:19:23,834 Goddamn it, will you let go? 1403 01:19:24,040 --> 01:19:25,951 No, no, no, no! You're gonna get us killed! 1404 01:19:30,040 --> 01:19:32,679 - All right, just get out of the way. - I can't. 1405 01:19:44,760 --> 01:19:45,829 Is everybody okay? 1406 01:19:46,040 --> 01:19:47,837 - Are you okay? - I'm fine. What...? 1407 01:19:48,040 --> 01:19:49,075 Fuck. 1408 01:19:51,480 --> 01:19:54,358 Fuck! 1409 01:19:54,880 --> 01:19:56,154 Ow! Shit! Fuck, fucking- 1410 01:19:56,320 --> 01:19:58,470 Ow, ow! Ow, ow, ow! 1411 01:19:58,640 --> 01:20:01,438 - Oh, my God. Fucking shit! Fuck! - What the hell is he doing? 1412 01:20:01,600 --> 01:20:03,716 Fuck a donkey! It hurts so much. 1413 01:20:03,880 --> 01:20:06,189 Settle down, man. What the hell's going on? 1414 01:20:06,400 --> 01:20:08,311 Oh, my God! I'm gonna die. 1415 01:20:08,480 --> 01:20:10,471 Kenny, listen to me. Calm down, all right? 1416 01:20:10,640 --> 01:20:12,471 Not gonna die. Tell us what's going on. 1417 01:20:12,640 --> 01:20:15,200 - Tell us what happened. - Fucking spider bit me, David! 1418 01:20:15,360 --> 01:20:17,920 - What? Where did it happen? - Bit me on my balls. 1419 01:20:18,440 --> 01:20:21,910 On my fucking balls. On my balls, on my fucking balls! 1420 01:20:22,080 --> 01:20:23,991 Oh, God. Let me see. Kenny, let me see it. 1421 01:20:24,160 --> 01:20:26,720 No. No fucking way. You're not seeing it. 1422 01:20:26,920 --> 01:20:30,629 Come on. I can't help you unless you show me. Sweetie, just show it to me. 1423 01:20:30,840 --> 01:20:33,115 Kenny, will you just man up and drop your pants? 1424 01:20:33,280 --> 01:20:34,952 We've all seen a dick. 1425 01:20:40,120 --> 01:20:41,553 All right, let's see it. 1426 01:20:43,960 --> 01:20:46,474 What? What is it? What does it look like? 1427 01:20:46,640 --> 01:20:48,471 - I can't look. - Um... 1428 01:20:48,640 --> 01:20:51,552 - Is it bad? - Hey, listen to me. It's not that bad. 1429 01:20:51,720 --> 01:20:53,870 - Dude, it's really bad. - No, it isn't. 1430 01:20:54,040 --> 01:20:56,634 - Have you seen what that... Look. - I'm not gonna look. 1431 01:20:56,800 --> 01:20:59,951 - You're going to a hospital. - What? No. No fucking way. 1432 01:21:00,160 --> 01:21:01,309 How bad is it? 1433 01:21:01,680 --> 01:21:04,513 You're okay. Rub some dirt on it. Let's get back in the RV. 1434 01:21:04,680 --> 01:21:07,319 No. You're going to see a doctor. 1435 01:21:07,480 --> 01:21:09,596 No fucking way. No, absolutely not, Rose. 1436 01:21:09,800 --> 01:21:12,360 He's not going to a hospital. We don't have time. 1437 01:21:12,520 --> 01:21:14,715 Trust me. Kenny is fine. 1438 01:21:14,880 --> 01:21:17,394 I can't feel my bingo. 1439 01:21:19,640 --> 01:21:22,473 - Goddamn it, Kenny. - Yeah. Totally fine. 1440 01:21:22,640 --> 01:21:25,677 - Go grab him. Grab him! - If he's dead, we're leaving him. 1441 01:21:32,560 --> 01:21:36,473 Yeah, this is David Mille... David Clark, calling for Mr. Gurdlinger again. 1442 01:21:37,520 --> 01:21:39,192 Yes, I'll hold. 1443 01:21:39,560 --> 01:21:42,393 Who's my big black and white baby? Yeah. 1444 01:21:43,200 --> 01:21:45,156 You are. Yes, you are. 1445 01:21:49,680 --> 01:21:51,477 - Yellow-ski. - Oh, hello, Brad. 1446 01:21:51,640 --> 01:21:54,438 Where the fuck have you been? I left you five messages, man! 1447 01:21:54,600 --> 01:21:58,479 David! You're alive! Cool. How'd that happen? 1448 01:21:58,680 --> 01:22:00,432 Ask the real Pablo Chacon. 1449 01:22:00,640 --> 01:22:01,993 I'm not gonna make excuses. 1450 01:22:02,440 --> 01:22:03,919 It was kind of a dick move. 1451 01:22:04,640 --> 01:22:06,676 - "A dick move"? A dick move! - Little bit. 1452 01:22:07,080 --> 01:22:08,559 Little bit of a dick move. 1453 01:22:08,720 --> 01:22:11,439 Well, tell you what. I'm not driving another fucking mile. 1454 01:22:11,600 --> 01:22:15,752 All right? I want goddamn hazard pay from your ass. Otherwise, I'll turn around... 1455 01:22:15,920 --> 01:22:19,879 ...and give this smidge of pot back to Chacon, along with your fucking address. 1456 01:22:20,040 --> 01:22:21,109 Do you understand me? 1457 01:22:21,280 --> 01:22:23,510 Sounds like you're threatening to double-cross me. 1458 01:22:23,680 --> 01:22:25,477 Fucking right I am. 1459 01:22:25,640 --> 01:22:27,596 And I'm kind of turned on right now. 1460 01:22:28,360 --> 01:22:30,954 You make a good case for hazard pay. How much you want? 1461 01:22:31,120 --> 01:22:33,918 How much? Oh, I don't know, half a million dollars. 1462 01:22:34,080 --> 01:22:35,354 - How about that? - Done. 1463 01:22:36,560 --> 01:22:38,232 Fucking right, it's done. Good. 1464 01:22:38,400 --> 01:22:41,312 But I need it here by tonight or the deal is off. 1465 01:22:42,040 --> 01:22:43,598 No problem. That's fine with me. 1466 01:22:43,760 --> 01:22:45,478 Where the hell are you, anyway? 1467 01:22:45,640 --> 01:22:50,714 We're at the Corrales Regional Medical Center in Buttfuck, New Mexico. 1468 01:22:50,880 --> 01:22:52,233 - Why? - Why? Why? 1469 01:22:52,440 --> 01:22:55,989 Because this goddamn Kenny kid got his fucking nuts bit by a giant spider. 1470 01:22:56,160 --> 01:22:59,391 That is amazing. Will you let me know if he develops super powers? 1471 01:23:00,000 --> 01:23:02,070 Listen, man, giddyup, okay? Tick-tock. 1472 01:23:02,600 --> 01:23:04,909 Tick-tock. Okay. 1473 01:23:08,560 --> 01:23:10,949 Hola, Pablo. Es Brad. 1474 01:23:11,120 --> 01:23:14,032 Okay. Here me out. I wanna ask you something. 1475 01:23:21,080 --> 01:23:22,832 Scottie? The doctor will see you now. 1476 01:23:26,680 --> 01:23:28,352 Text me, girl. I gotta bounce. 1477 01:23:29,000 --> 01:23:30,194 Know what I'm saying? 1478 01:23:32,520 --> 01:23:35,990 Oh, God. Really? That guy? 1479 01:23:36,800 --> 01:23:39,360 - What? He's hot. - Okay. 1480 01:23:40,000 --> 01:23:41,194 "I gotta bounce. " 1481 01:23:42,480 --> 01:23:44,311 - Miller family? - Yeah. 1482 01:23:44,760 --> 01:23:47,228 Hi. Hello, how are you? 1483 01:23:47,440 --> 01:23:50,113 Oh, great. What's the news, doc, huh? Can we get going? 1484 01:23:50,320 --> 01:23:52,072 - He's about to tell us. - Oh, good. 1485 01:23:52,280 --> 01:23:56,034 I'm afraid your son had a pretty severe allergic reaction to the spider's venom. 1486 01:23:56,240 --> 01:23:58,231 Ooh. Too bad. Better get him home. Where is he? 1487 01:23:58,440 --> 01:24:02,513 He's in a lot of pain right now, we won't be able to release him for a few hours yet. 1488 01:24:04,800 --> 01:24:07,189 - Why? - David? David, David! Stop it. 1489 01:24:08,360 --> 01:24:09,679 Please. Continue. 1490 01:24:10,640 --> 01:24:12,437 Uh, he's on an IV to get some antibiotics... 1491 01:24:13,880 --> 01:24:16,394 Who the fuck cares, man? Okay? We got shit to do. 1492 01:24:16,600 --> 01:24:19,637 Go get my son and bring him and his giant nut out here right now. 1493 01:24:19,840 --> 01:24:23,230 Stop it. Doctor, thank you. I appreciate you taking care of our son. 1494 01:24:23,440 --> 01:24:27,069 - Thank you very much. - Sure. You seem like a very caring father. 1495 01:24:28,720 --> 01:24:31,234 - What is your fucking problem? - What?! 1496 01:24:31,440 --> 01:24:33,954 Are you crazy? It's only a few hours. We'll be fine. 1497 01:24:34,160 --> 01:24:35,388 No, we're not fine. Okay? 1498 01:24:35,600 --> 01:24:38,558 We'll be dead in a few hours. You forget who's following us? 1499 01:24:38,800 --> 01:24:41,109 Look, here's what I say we do, all right? 1500 01:24:41,600 --> 01:24:44,239 We leave him here, and then we just keep going, all right? 1501 01:24:44,440 --> 01:24:47,352 So you're saying that the three of us, we just leave him here. 1502 01:24:47,600 --> 01:24:51,479 No! No, no, no. We don't leave him here. No. Absolutely not. No, we leave... 1503 01:24:51,720 --> 01:24:53,073 ...with him here. 1504 01:24:56,040 --> 01:24:57,075 Okay. 1505 01:25:03,080 --> 01:25:05,435 You know, if we leave Kenny here, it really isn't... 1506 01:25:06,120 --> 01:25:07,155 Ah. 1507 01:25:07,360 --> 01:25:10,079 No. I don't know where I was going with that. That's stupid. 1508 01:25:10,280 --> 01:25:11,554 Seriously. 1509 01:25:14,000 --> 01:25:15,353 - What's that? - I don't know. 1510 01:25:15,560 --> 01:25:18,313 - Don't answer it! It's for me! - What? 1511 01:25:19,280 --> 01:25:20,315 What's up, dawg? 1512 01:25:20,760 --> 01:25:22,318 Not much, dawg. What's up with you? 1513 01:25:22,520 --> 01:25:24,476 Here to pick up Casey, know what I'm saying? 1514 01:25:24,720 --> 01:25:27,188 I'm awake and I speak English, so, yeah, I do know. 1515 01:25:28,360 --> 01:25:31,557 - What's your name, man? - Scottie P., you know what I'm saying? Ha-ha. 1516 01:25:32,360 --> 01:25:34,112 Again, I do know what you're saying. 1517 01:25:34,320 --> 01:25:36,788 But I appreciate you continuing to check in with me. 1518 01:25:37,000 --> 01:25:39,594 - Hi! Bye. We're gonna go. - Whoa, wait! 1519 01:25:39,800 --> 01:25:42,030 - Where do you think you're going? - Out. 1520 01:25:42,680 --> 01:25:44,671 I have just made lunch. 1521 01:25:44,880 --> 01:25:47,189 - When are you coming back? - I don't know, later. 1522 01:25:47,400 --> 01:25:49,277 No! Hey, stop! Stop, listen to me. 1523 01:25:49,480 --> 01:25:51,277 Once Kenny is ready, we're out of here. 1524 01:25:51,480 --> 01:25:54,950 We will leave with or without you. If you're not here, we're gone. Got it? 1525 01:25:55,160 --> 01:25:57,230 Okay, fine. That's totally fine. 1526 01:25:57,440 --> 01:26:00,352 Wait. Come here. I'd like to have a chat with your friend. 1527 01:26:00,560 --> 01:26:02,994 - Are you kidding me? - I am not kidding you. 1528 01:26:03,200 --> 01:26:04,599 Would you please have a seat. 1529 01:26:05,720 --> 01:26:06,994 What is going on? 1530 01:26:13,000 --> 01:26:17,198 So, Scottie P., what exactly do you do for a living? 1531 01:26:17,480 --> 01:26:20,438 - Oh, Mom! - I work for A & J Amusements. 1532 01:26:20,600 --> 01:26:23,068 I'm rocking that Monkey Maze, you know what I'm saying? 1533 01:26:23,280 --> 01:26:27,558 - What the hell is the Monkey Maze? - Oh, it's like a Terrifying Deathtrap... 1534 01:26:27,720 --> 01:26:29,119 ...but for little kids. 1535 01:26:29,320 --> 01:26:31,550 You're working at the fair. You're a carny. 1536 01:26:31,720 --> 01:26:34,314 No, I drive a motorcycle. 1537 01:26:34,480 --> 01:26:35,833 - Mm-hm. - Mm-hm. 1538 01:26:36,040 --> 01:26:37,234 Yeah. 1539 01:26:37,400 --> 01:26:41,313 What about you guys? Where you, uh, stopping in from, you know what I'm saying? 1540 01:26:41,480 --> 01:26:43,471 - Uh, D-town. - Oh, Detroit. 1541 01:26:43,640 --> 01:26:46,074 No, no, no. The other one. 1542 01:26:46,240 --> 01:26:47,958 D- town. The other D-town. 1543 01:26:48,120 --> 01:26:50,475 - Denver...? - That's the one. There you go. 1544 01:26:50,680 --> 01:26:52,033 - Colorado. - That's the one. 1545 01:26:52,200 --> 01:26:54,395 Yeah, I love my Rockies, you know what I'm saying? 1546 01:26:54,600 --> 01:26:56,670 Oh, you like the Rockies? You're a baseball fan? 1547 01:26:57,600 --> 01:26:59,955 - Uh, no, the mountains. - Of course. 1548 01:27:01,360 --> 01:27:02,793 Hey, those are cool tats, man. 1549 01:27:02,960 --> 01:27:05,110 Oh, for real. Thank you, bro. You see the cobra? 1550 01:27:05,520 --> 01:27:07,670 - What's this? The one right there? - Oh, this? 1551 01:27:07,840 --> 01:27:09,273 Uh-huh. 1552 01:27:09,440 --> 01:27:11,351 That's my credo. "No ragrets. " 1553 01:27:11,520 --> 01:27:14,398 Mm-hm. How about that. 1554 01:27:15,120 --> 01:27:17,076 - You have no regrets? - Nope. 1555 01:27:17,240 --> 01:27:20,869 - Not one? - Nope. Ha, ha. 1556 01:27:21,040 --> 01:27:23,474 I wish I did. To talk about something. 1557 01:27:23,640 --> 01:27:24,709 Not one regret, huh? 1558 01:27:24,920 --> 01:27:27,070 That's how I been living my whole life. 1559 01:27:27,240 --> 01:27:29,276 I went to a tattoo artist, I was like: 1560 01:27:29,440 --> 01:27:31,635 "This how I live. Can you put that on my body?" 1561 01:27:31,800 --> 01:27:33,313 - And he did it. - Dad. 1562 01:27:33,480 --> 01:27:36,597 - Not even a single letter? - No, I can't think of one. 1563 01:27:36,760 --> 01:27:39,593 - I love all the letters, know what I'm saying? - Yeah. 1564 01:27:39,760 --> 01:27:41,796 A lot of letters in the alphabet. How many? 1565 01:27:41,960 --> 01:27:44,918 - It's in the 20s. - It's definitely in the 20s, I agree. 1566 01:27:45,080 --> 01:27:47,548 Twenty-six, I think, if you count Y. 1567 01:27:47,720 --> 01:27:50,792 - Do you have any questions for us, Scottie P? - Dad. 1568 01:27:51,520 --> 01:27:54,432 - How did you make her so hot? - What's that? 1569 01:27:54,920 --> 01:27:57,639 - Uh, Casey. - Aw, that's very sweet of you. 1570 01:27:57,800 --> 01:28:00,155 He wants to know how we made Casey so hot. 1571 01:28:00,320 --> 01:28:03,596 - It's, uh... - You guys had to... 1572 01:28:03,760 --> 01:28:06,274 - What'd you ask us? - ... seminate, like, each other? 1573 01:28:06,440 --> 01:28:08,271 Uh... Sorry? 1574 01:28:08,440 --> 01:28:11,000 - Oh, my God. - Like, is there a way to make them, like... 1575 01:28:11,160 --> 01:28:12,275 ...attractive? Like, kids? 1576 01:28:13,440 --> 01:28:15,590 - Doggie style. Know what I mean? - Dope. 1577 01:28:17,440 --> 01:28:21,228 - Dad. - Well, I love him. I think he's great. 1578 01:28:21,440 --> 01:28:24,113 A real winner. If I were you, I wouldn't use protection. 1579 01:28:24,280 --> 01:28:25,793 Scottie P., you're the man. 1580 01:28:25,960 --> 01:28:27,837 - Yo, for real. Thanks, man. - We're leaving. Bye! 1581 01:28:28,680 --> 01:28:30,989 - Nice meeting you. You do you, Scottie P. - You too. 1582 01:28:37,600 --> 01:28:39,318 Casey, make good choices! 1583 01:28:42,400 --> 01:28:43,992 Come on, she's gonna be fine. 1584 01:28:44,200 --> 01:28:46,873 Tattooed kid on a motorcycle, no helmet. 1585 01:28:47,600 --> 01:28:49,556 Actually, she might already be pregnant. 1586 01:28:56,320 --> 01:28:59,039 I cannot believe her. Where the hell is she? 1587 01:28:59,240 --> 01:29:02,915 Look who is concerned about someone other than themselves. 1588 01:29:03,120 --> 01:29:05,076 What? I just want to get back on the road. 1589 01:29:05,280 --> 01:29:06,633 No, I know. 1590 01:29:07,000 --> 01:29:08,752 That kid was a dickhead, huh? 1591 01:29:08,960 --> 01:29:10,279 - Right? - Know what I'm saying? 1592 01:29:10,480 --> 01:29:13,392 - Ha! Jerk. - Unbelievable. 1593 01:29:13,600 --> 01:29:15,909 Must get her shitty taste in men from her mother. 1594 01:29:19,400 --> 01:29:21,709 I'm sorry. It was a cheap shot. 1595 01:29:21,920 --> 01:29:24,354 Cheap shot, okay? I'm taking it back. 1596 01:29:25,320 --> 01:29:28,835 I'm sure your boyfriend Jimmy is very nice. 1597 01:29:29,040 --> 01:29:31,873 He seems like a very good guy. 1598 01:29:32,520 --> 01:29:34,829 Well, he's not. He left. 1599 01:29:35,320 --> 01:29:38,630 Maxed out all my credit cards, cleaned out my bank account... 1600 01:29:38,840 --> 01:29:40,239 ...jetted out of town. 1601 01:29:40,440 --> 01:29:44,991 He stole my favorite mug. Which was a pretty shitty thing to do. Even for him. 1602 01:29:45,200 --> 01:29:47,634 - I'm really sorry about that. That sucks. - Whatever. 1603 01:29:47,880 --> 01:29:50,792 That's what you get for dating a guy who dates strippers. 1604 01:29:51,360 --> 01:29:52,395 Ah, come on. 1605 01:29:52,600 --> 01:29:54,750 You're a lot more than that, Rose, and you know it. 1606 01:29:58,200 --> 01:30:01,033 - What? - Rose is not even my real name. 1607 01:30:03,000 --> 01:30:04,319 What's your real name? 1608 01:30:05,720 --> 01:30:06,914 Sarah. 1609 01:30:07,680 --> 01:30:08,795 With an "h"? 1610 01:30:09,160 --> 01:30:11,469 Yep. Right there at the end. 1611 01:30:11,680 --> 01:30:13,238 It's the best way to spell it. 1612 01:30:13,440 --> 01:30:16,318 - That's what my mother thought. Heh. - Heh. 1613 01:30:18,400 --> 01:30:20,197 Well, David's not my real name either. 1614 01:30:20,640 --> 01:30:23,359 - Really? - I'm being serious. 1615 01:30:24,680 --> 01:30:27,319 Wow. So you're being ser- 1616 01:30:27,560 --> 01:30:30,552 Well, so then, what's your real name? 1617 01:30:30,920 --> 01:30:32,035 Barbara. 1618 01:30:32,240 --> 01:30:34,470 - Barbara? - Yeah, named after my mom. 1619 01:30:34,680 --> 01:30:36,955 Oh, so, what are you, like, a Barbara Jr.? 1620 01:30:38,320 --> 01:30:40,311 - You're Barbara Jr. - You got it. Yeah, yeah. 1621 01:30:40,520 --> 01:30:43,159 My friends in high school and grade school called me Babs. 1622 01:30:43,360 --> 01:30:44,873 Oh, scarred childhood. 1623 01:30:45,120 --> 01:30:49,033 Not really, not at all. I mean, I was in musical theater, so I was actually revered. 1624 01:30:50,400 --> 01:30:51,435 Very funny. 1625 01:30:53,360 --> 01:30:54,839 You have a hair... 1626 01:30:56,920 --> 01:30:58,353 Yank, or put behind the ear? 1627 01:30:58,560 --> 01:30:59,788 Guess we could... 1628 01:31:00,640 --> 01:31:01,755 ...tuck it back there. 1629 01:31:04,880 --> 01:31:06,950 Whoa. What's going on in here? 1630 01:31:07,560 --> 01:31:10,279 We should ask you the same thing, young lady! Huh? 1631 01:31:10,520 --> 01:31:12,511 - We've been worried sick. - That's right. 1632 01:31:12,720 --> 01:31:14,870 Why are you guys talking like that? 1633 01:31:15,200 --> 01:31:16,269 Shit, is someone here? 1634 01:31:16,480 --> 01:31:19,438 Yeah! Yeah, us. We're here. That's who's here. 1635 01:31:19,760 --> 01:31:22,194 We didn't know if you were dead in a ditch! Huh? 1636 01:31:22,400 --> 01:31:23,958 You couldn't have called? Something? 1637 01:31:24,200 --> 01:31:27,112 Or send one of those text messages you're always sending out? 1638 01:31:27,320 --> 01:31:31,438 "Hey, it"s me, Casey, I'm not dead in a ditch. " LOL, picture of a whale, #YOLO. 1639 01:31:31,760 --> 01:31:33,239 - Anything! - Okay. 1640 01:31:33,760 --> 01:31:35,193 Fine! Whatever! 1641 01:31:35,400 --> 01:31:37,038 Sorry. 1642 01:31:37,240 --> 01:31:38,468 - Whoa! - Thank you! 1643 01:31:38,720 --> 01:31:40,472 - Was that so hard? - Appreciate that. 1644 01:31:40,720 --> 01:31:43,871 - She learned a new word, Rose. - Thank God. "I'm sorry. " 1645 01:31:44,360 --> 01:31:46,191 Un-fucking-believable. 1646 01:31:46,640 --> 01:31:47,993 It's gonna be great. 1647 01:31:48,920 --> 01:31:51,036 Oh! There he is. Kenny! 1648 01:31:51,240 --> 01:31:53,708 - Okay, let's go. - Oh, my God, you look so much better. 1649 01:31:53,920 --> 01:31:56,150 - Doesn't he? - Like a thousand bucks. Let's go. 1650 01:31:59,000 --> 01:32:01,230 - Come on, we gotta hurry. Come on! - Take it easy! 1651 01:32:01,440 --> 01:32:03,271 - Will you just relax?! - Look, I can't... 1652 01:32:04,120 --> 01:32:05,155 - Oh, great. - Aah! 1653 01:32:05,360 --> 01:32:07,794 - Kenny. - That's my elbow. Oh... 1654 01:32:08,040 --> 01:32:10,235 - Are you okay? - I think so. 1655 01:32:10,440 --> 01:32:13,079 Look what happens when you run around like a crazy person. 1656 01:32:13,280 --> 01:32:16,272 What do mean? He's fine. Come on, Ken-doll, hop up. Here we go. 1657 01:32:16,480 --> 01:32:18,550 - What's wrong with you? - What's wrong with me? 1658 01:32:18,800 --> 01:32:21,394 - David! - Look, this job has a deadline... 1659 01:32:21,600 --> 01:32:23,477 ...and it's in four fucking hours. 1660 01:32:23,720 --> 01:32:27,429 If you think I'm gonna lose half a million dollars because of Kenny's boo-boos... 1661 01:32:27,680 --> 01:32:29,955 - ... then you're out of your mind. - Whoa. Wait a second. 1662 01:32:30,680 --> 01:32:33,911 You're making half a million dollars on this deal? 1663 01:32:36,240 --> 01:32:40,233 - Uh, roughly. - I cannot believe you. 1664 01:32:40,440 --> 01:32:41,873 Listen to me. I can explain. 1665 01:32:42,080 --> 01:32:47,279 You are making $500,000 and you were only gonna pay me 30? 1666 01:32:47,480 --> 01:32:51,029 You're getting 30 grand? I'm getting a thousand! 1667 01:32:51,560 --> 01:32:53,073 Wait, you guys are getting paid? 1668 01:32:53,280 --> 01:32:54,713 - You're a liar. - No, no, no. 1669 01:32:54,960 --> 01:32:57,030 - We want to renegotiate. - No. No way. 1670 01:32:57,240 --> 01:32:58,559 - What? David. - No. No way. 1671 01:32:58,800 --> 01:33:02,918 You made your deal with me, I made my deal with Brad. We're getting outta here. 1672 01:33:03,880 --> 01:33:07,236 See? Good. Casey gets it. We're not renegotiating now. Let's go. 1673 01:33:07,440 --> 01:33:11,228 I believe we are, right now, because you wouldn't even be here if it wasn't for us. 1674 01:33:11,480 --> 01:33:12,629 You're right about that. 1675 01:33:12,840 --> 01:33:15,559 I'd be in Denver now if it wasn't for you slowing me down. 1676 01:33:15,760 --> 01:33:19,150 Are you shitting...? Slowing you down? What the hell are you talking...? 1677 01:33:19,800 --> 01:33:21,995 Whoa, where the hell are you going? Hey, hey! 1678 01:33:22,240 --> 01:33:24,037 Hey, I said where are you going? 1679 01:33:24,280 --> 01:33:26,316 You know what? You leave, you get nothing. 1680 01:33:26,520 --> 01:33:27,953 I don't want your money, okay? 1681 01:33:28,200 --> 01:33:31,033 Casey, come back. We have to stay together. 1682 01:33:31,240 --> 01:33:32,753 - Come on! - Why? 1683 01:33:33,520 --> 01:33:34,953 Because we're a family? Huh? 1684 01:33:35,400 --> 01:33:38,392 You want to spend Christmas together? Help me with my homework? 1685 01:33:38,720 --> 01:33:41,678 Please. This whole thing has been a total joke. 1686 01:33:42,720 --> 01:33:45,871 Oh, no, I'll tell you what the joke is! You want to know what the...? 1687 01:33:46,880 --> 01:33:47,995 The j... 1688 01:33:48,440 --> 01:33:50,078 I'm not gonna tell you the joke! 1689 01:33:50,280 --> 01:33:53,477 You don't deserve to hear the joke! Let's go. 1690 01:33:53,680 --> 01:33:56,069 - I don't think you knew the joke. - I knew a joke. 1691 01:33:56,280 --> 01:33:57,952 We have to go back and get her. 1692 01:33:58,160 --> 01:34:00,674 What? Are you kidding me? She left! Screw her, okay? 1693 01:34:00,880 --> 01:34:02,552 Are you coming with me or not, Rose? 1694 01:34:04,040 --> 01:34:07,430 Fine. I'll slide your check under your door. Kenny, let's go. 1695 01:34:09,200 --> 01:34:10,713 Kenny, come on! Let's go, man. 1696 01:34:10,920 --> 01:34:13,514 We can't leave her, David. It's not right. 1697 01:34:16,240 --> 01:34:17,593 - You know what? - What? 1698 01:34:18,000 --> 01:34:19,752 You all deserve each other. 1699 01:34:22,680 --> 01:34:23,999 Da... Wha...? 1700 01:34:35,000 --> 01:34:36,319 He'll come back. 1701 01:34:37,040 --> 01:34:38,075 Right? 1702 01:34:59,320 --> 01:35:00,355 Yo, girl! 1703 01:35:02,200 --> 01:35:04,555 - I got your text. What's up? - Hey. 1704 01:35:04,760 --> 01:35:05,988 Are you alone? 1705 01:35:06,520 --> 01:35:10,399 Yeah. You think we can go someplace private and talk? 1706 01:35:11,280 --> 01:35:14,716 I know just the spot, you know what I'm saying? Heh-heh. 1707 01:35:20,320 --> 01:35:23,153 - A little better. - See, you're not in synch with what I'm doing. 1708 01:35:23,360 --> 01:35:26,272 I'm just playing a major scale, but, um, we can move it down. 1709 01:35:26,440 --> 01:35:27,714 - Let's move it. - Shitty scale. 1710 01:35:27,880 --> 01:35:29,359 Stop talking. Just shut the fuck up. 1711 01:35:31,480 --> 01:35:32,993 - Hey, what's up? - Hey, Brad. 1712 01:35:33,200 --> 01:35:36,237 I'm just getting some singing lessons from my main man Ben Folds Five. 1713 01:35:36,400 --> 01:35:39,790 - Ain't that right, Ben Folds Five? - My name is Ben Folds. 1714 01:35:40,000 --> 01:35:41,718 "Five" is the name of the band. 1715 01:35:41,920 --> 01:35:43,638 You're fucking with me. I love it. 1716 01:35:43,840 --> 01:35:47,116 You gotta meet this guy. Benji Five is a laugh riot. 1717 01:35:47,280 --> 01:35:49,111 Remember that song "Brick" we used to listen to? 1718 01:35:49,280 --> 01:35:53,432 She's a brick and I'm drowning slowly 1719 01:35:53,640 --> 01:35:56,393 It's... I've got... It's that guy. I fucking got that guy. 1720 01:35:56,600 --> 01:35:58,158 He's like my personal bitch. 1721 01:35:58,320 --> 01:36:00,595 - Listen, is everything okay? - Yeah. 1722 01:36:00,760 --> 01:36:02,751 Yeah, yeah. Uh, things are fine. 1723 01:36:02,920 --> 01:36:05,878 I'm about 200 miles away. I'll be there in three hours, all right? 1724 01:36:06,040 --> 01:36:09,555 - All right. Peace. - Agh, fucking asshole. 1725 01:36:09,720 --> 01:36:11,039 Scales. Let's do this. 1726 01:36:11,240 --> 01:36:12,593 This gig sucks. 1727 01:36:12,760 --> 01:36:14,796 Don't talk to me like that. I will have you killed. 1728 01:36:14,960 --> 01:36:16,791 And no one will miss your fucking nerd music. 1729 01:36:26,400 --> 01:36:28,152 Sunday, Sunday, Sunday! 1730 01:36:28,360 --> 01:36:29,998 Great. That's loud. 1731 01:36:38,120 --> 01:36:41,317 Yeah, nice try, radio. Nice try. Heh. 1732 01:36:42,000 --> 01:36:43,752 Okay. Ahem. 1733 01:36:43,960 --> 01:36:45,154 Let's get there. 1734 01:36:47,760 --> 01:36:49,557 Hoo. 1735 01:36:51,000 --> 01:36:52,228 Quiet. 1736 01:36:59,120 --> 01:37:00,758 And I knew better too. 1737 01:37:01,000 --> 01:37:03,309 But we were all on the road together... 1738 01:37:03,520 --> 01:37:06,318 ...and it got kind of fun, you know? 1739 01:37:07,160 --> 01:37:08,195 Yeah. Uh-huh. 1740 01:37:08,800 --> 01:37:11,633 And I started thinking of us as kind of like this... 1741 01:37:13,120 --> 01:37:14,712 Whatever, it's stupid. 1742 01:37:15,760 --> 01:37:19,443 - Fuck them. - Yeah, fuck them. Yo, right now, girl, 1743 01:37:19,835 --> 01:37:22,964 Scottie P. is gonna make you feel real good, know what I'm saying? 1744 01:37:22,999 --> 01:37:25,035 - Ha-ha. - Uh, heh. 1745 01:37:25,240 --> 01:37:28,357 I'm sorry, I'm just feeling kind of cry-ey and that... 1746 01:37:29,520 --> 01:37:31,351 - I'm just gonna go, okay? - Come on, girl. 1747 01:37:31,560 --> 01:37:33,869 - You texted me. You know what's up. - Scottie. 1748 01:37:34,080 --> 01:37:35,308 Hey! 1749 01:37:35,520 --> 01:37:36,635 Get your hands off of her! 1750 01:37:36,840 --> 01:37:38,159 Come here, Casey. 1751 01:37:38,600 --> 01:37:40,192 You put your hands on her again... 1752 01:37:40,400 --> 01:37:43,073 ...I will rip that fucking tattoo right off of your chest. 1753 01:37:43,280 --> 01:37:44,349 You know what I'm saying? 1754 01:37:44,560 --> 01:37:46,596 - Oh, really, bitch? - Yeah, bitch. 1755 01:37:46,800 --> 01:37:49,872 You know what? Why don't you leave the girls alone, man. 1756 01:37:50,080 --> 01:37:51,672 What are you gonna do, eyebrows? 1757 01:37:53,240 --> 01:37:54,673 One... 1758 01:37:55,400 --> 01:37:56,628 ...two... 1759 01:37:58,280 --> 01:38:00,396 Ow! Broke my nose! 1760 01:38:01,920 --> 01:38:04,753 You're an aggressive woman. Know what I'm saying? 1761 01:38:07,240 --> 01:38:08,275 Are you okay? 1762 01:38:08,520 --> 01:38:10,988 I'm fine. That was awesome. You fucking decked him! 1763 01:38:11,200 --> 01:38:13,509 I've dealt with handsy assholes like him at work. 1764 01:38:13,760 --> 01:38:14,988 Let's just get out of here. 1765 01:38:15,240 --> 01:38:16,992 Thanks for the backup. Why the counting? 1766 01:38:17,240 --> 01:38:19,435 If you're gonna punch someone, punch them on one. 1767 01:38:19,640 --> 01:38:20,993 Well, David told me to count. 1768 01:38:21,240 --> 01:38:23,470 David? David hasn't punched anybody ever. 1769 01:38:28,320 --> 01:38:30,231 I think this way. Exit. 1770 01:38:34,120 --> 01:38:36,680 I have returned. 1771 01:38:38,520 --> 01:38:40,795 Ha-ha-ha. So here's what happened, okay? 1772 01:38:41,492 --> 01:38:44,502 I'm out on the open road, just by myself, right? 1773 01:38:44,908 --> 01:38:47,024 And I'm just beelining it to a huge payday. 1774 01:38:47,059 --> 01:38:48,669 And I start to realize something: it's boring in here. 1775 01:38:48,840 --> 01:38:50,751 So I thought, "You know what you gotta do, dummy? 1776 01:38:50,920 --> 01:38:54,515 You gotta turn this RV around and go back and get those dip sticks. " 1777 01:38:54,680 --> 01:38:57,911 Heh. I'm just kidding, you're not dip sticks. 1778 01:38:58,080 --> 01:38:59,877 What do you say we go home? Come on, let's go. 1779 01:39:00,040 --> 01:39:01,837 Hey, David? Go fuck yourself. 1780 01:39:02,480 --> 01:39:04,277 Uh...? Ha! 1781 01:39:04,880 --> 01:39:07,348 "Go fuck yourself. " "You go fuck yourself. " 1782 01:39:07,669 --> 01:39:09,538 Rose, you say, "Go fuck yourself. " 1783 01:39:09,952 --> 01:39:11,959 Then Kenny's like, "I don't want to fuck anybody. " 1784 01:39:12,200 --> 01:39:15,272 This is what I miss, right? The Ping-Pong action, the repartee. 1785 01:39:16,354 --> 01:39:18,515 Come on, guys Let's get out of here, go home. 1786 01:39:18,860 --> 01:39:21,702 Get in the RV, go home, get out of here. Come on, let's go! 1787 01:39:22,360 --> 01:39:25,113 - Whoa, hey, hold on. Where you going? - Are you serious? 1788 01:39:25,280 --> 01:39:27,191 Look, look, look. Okay. 1789 01:39:27,360 --> 01:39:29,794 I know what this is about, and I get it. 1790 01:39:29,960 --> 01:39:32,997 All right? We're gonna split the $500,000. 1791 01:39:33,160 --> 01:39:37,039 Evenly. Betwixt the four of us. 1792 01:39:37,440 --> 01:39:40,477 You guys get what I'm saying here? Kenny, you wanna be like this: "Pfft!" 1793 01:39:40,640 --> 01:39:44,076 Like you're from... Right? That's a lot of video games, kiddo. 1794 01:39:44,240 --> 01:39:47,630 All right, Casey, you can buy a house, and run away from it. 1795 01:39:48,040 --> 01:39:50,508 You know what I mean? Like, whatever. You get $125,000. 1796 01:39:50,680 --> 01:39:51,795 You get $125,000. 1797 01:39:52,000 --> 01:39:54,673 You get a... I mean, I'm like fucking Oprah here. You know? 1798 01:39:54,880 --> 01:39:57,474 If she was a white dude at a carnival. Heh. 1799 01:39:57,640 --> 01:40:00,200 Come on, guys. Let's get in the RV... 1800 01:40:00,360 --> 01:40:03,927 ...and take our butts back to Denver where we're gonna be rich, 1801 01:40:04,268 --> 01:40:05,575 and we're gonna get paid. 1802 01:40:05,610 --> 01:40:07,754 - Come on, come on. - Uh, David, listen. 1803 01:40:07,960 --> 01:40:10,952 You misled us. You left us. 1804 01:40:11,478 --> 01:40:14,015 And then you come waltzing back in here all... 1805 01:40:14,362 --> 01:40:15,947 I don't know what the hell that was... 1806 01:40:15,982 --> 01:40:17,668 ...and you just expect that we all just forget about it. 1807 01:40:17,840 --> 01:40:20,559 What's wrong with you? 1808 01:40:21,400 --> 01:40:22,435 How do we trust you? 1809 01:40:26,480 --> 01:40:29,392 Okay, look, what do you want? Do you want me to beg? 1810 01:40:29,600 --> 01:40:31,158 Kids? What do you think? 1811 01:40:31,320 --> 01:40:34,039 - That would make me feel a lot better. - Works for me. Sure. 1812 01:40:36,520 --> 01:40:38,112 You're joking. 1813 01:40:39,920 --> 01:40:41,035 Wha...? 1814 01:40:41,440 --> 01:40:44,557 You really want me to get on my knees? And beg you? 1815 01:40:45,360 --> 01:40:47,191 It's a good thing I'm wearing my begging pants. 1816 01:40:47,360 --> 01:40:49,555 I usually only do this before sex. 1817 01:40:51,080 --> 01:40:53,833 Okay, okay, I'm going, I'm going. Please, please. 1818 01:40:54,000 --> 01:40:56,958 Ahem. Let's do it. Here we go. 1819 01:40:57,120 --> 01:40:58,155 Okay! To the RV, let's go. 1820 01:40:58,560 --> 01:40:59,595 Come on, Babs. 1821 01:41:02,960 --> 01:41:05,428 Whoa, whoa. Slow down. There's clowns everywhere. 1822 01:41:05,640 --> 01:41:06,789 Here, let Pops get in here. 1823 01:41:07,000 --> 01:41:09,275 We're right down here. I parked it next to an RV. 1824 01:41:14,200 --> 01:41:15,474 - Melissa. - Kenny. 1825 01:41:15,680 --> 01:41:17,238 - Rose! - Edie. 1826 01:41:17,440 --> 01:41:18,634 - Shit. - Shit. 1827 01:41:18,880 --> 01:41:21,189 I never get used to that language. 1828 01:41:22,280 --> 01:41:26,159 What in the H-E-L-L are you people doing here? 1829 01:41:26,480 --> 01:41:27,595 Uh... Uh, uh... 1830 01:41:27,800 --> 01:41:30,109 - We came to see the fireworks. - Yeah. Fireworks. 1831 01:41:30,600 --> 01:41:34,798 Us too! That's so weird! They're supposed to be amazing here. 1832 01:41:35,000 --> 01:41:36,433 - Melissa, can we talk? - No. 1833 01:41:36,640 --> 01:41:38,392 - Mom, come on, let's go. - Melissa! 1834 01:41:38,800 --> 01:41:40,870 Why are you being so rude? 1835 01:41:41,080 --> 01:41:43,674 Do you have your period? Do you need a tampin? 1836 01:41:43,880 --> 01:41:46,872 Mom, I don't need a tampin. I don't want to be near these people. 1837 01:41:47,120 --> 01:41:49,236 - Kenny. Let's go. - We should get out of here. 1838 01:41:49,560 --> 01:41:52,472 - What happened last night was wrong. - Oh, boy. 1839 01:41:54,400 --> 01:41:55,992 Oh, my God, she knows. 1840 01:41:57,720 --> 01:41:59,790 My daughter knows what we've done. 1841 01:42:00,880 --> 01:42:04,031 Melissa, yes, it was wrong of me to fondle Mrs. Miller's breasts. 1842 01:42:04,640 --> 01:42:08,394 You're right. I'm not gonna deny that it gave me a certain amount of pleasure. 1843 01:42:08,640 --> 01:42:13,714 That said, your father and I are struggling with some serious intimacy issues. 1844 01:42:13,920 --> 01:42:15,035 Okay, no, stop! 1845 01:42:15,240 --> 01:42:16,753 I'm not as tight as I once was. 1846 01:42:16,960 --> 01:42:19,349 - Look... - He just falls right out. 1847 01:42:19,560 --> 01:42:21,596 It's like throwing a hot dog down a hallway. 1848 01:42:21,800 --> 01:42:23,950 Ew! What are you talking about? 1849 01:42:24,160 --> 01:42:28,472 I saw Kenny making out with his sister and mother while their dad watched. 1850 01:42:29,840 --> 01:42:31,398 What? Oh, my...! 1851 01:42:31,600 --> 01:42:34,717 - It wasn't quite like that. - That's not exactly what happened. 1852 01:42:34,960 --> 01:42:37,838 Rose isn't my mom, she's not my sister. We're not a real family. 1853 01:42:38,080 --> 01:42:40,196 That's enough, son! What are you saying? 1854 01:42:40,400 --> 01:42:43,437 He's been drinking. It's hard to understand. He's being ridiculous. 1855 01:42:43,640 --> 01:42:46,313 David hired us to help him smuggle drugs across the border. 1856 01:42:46,520 --> 01:42:47,999 You're drug dealers? 1857 01:42:48,400 --> 01:42:51,358 No! No, we're drug smugglers. There's a difference. 1858 01:42:51,600 --> 01:42:53,158 There's not a difference. 1859 01:42:53,360 --> 01:42:56,113 Okay, Edie, we can explain, all right? 1860 01:42:56,320 --> 01:42:58,675 This is a small misunderstanding. It really is. 1861 01:42:58,880 --> 01:43:01,474 When he says "smuggle," he doesn't know what he's saying. 1862 01:43:01,680 --> 01:43:03,910 - It's not drugs. - He doesn't know what drugs are. 1863 01:43:04,120 --> 01:43:06,076 Seriously. It's just a little tequila. 1864 01:43:07,480 --> 01:43:08,629 What? 1865 01:43:08,840 --> 01:43:09,875 Oh, my God! 1866 01:43:10,120 --> 01:43:13,795 - Hey. Ah, thank God you're alive. - He's got a gun! 1867 01:43:14,040 --> 01:43:16,190 Listen! Hey, hey, hey. No, no! Wait, wait, wait! 1868 01:43:21,960 --> 01:43:23,279 This is gonna be fun! 1869 01:43:35,640 --> 01:43:37,198 I still got it. 1870 01:43:37,400 --> 01:43:39,072 Don's a badass. 1871 01:43:39,800 --> 01:43:41,995 Oh, Don. 1872 01:43:43,880 --> 01:43:45,632 Melissa, go find a police officer. 1873 01:43:47,240 --> 01:43:48,798 Okay, Don. Don, listen to me. 1874 01:43:49,000 --> 01:43:51,389 No. Drug smuggling, David? 1875 01:43:51,600 --> 01:43:53,556 And to think of the moment we shared. 1876 01:43:53,760 --> 01:43:55,193 No, Don, there's another guy. 1877 01:43:55,720 --> 01:43:57,472 I don't want to hear about other men! 1878 01:43:58,120 --> 01:44:01,510 What? No! No, no! No! There's another guy trying to kill us! 1879 01:44:01,720 --> 01:44:03,119 What? Who? 1880 01:44:03,320 --> 01:44:04,469 Pablo Chacon. 1881 01:44:05,120 --> 01:44:06,155 Pablo Chacon. 1882 01:44:06,360 --> 01:44:07,475 Buenas noches, Millers. 1883 01:44:07,680 --> 01:44:09,352 What is he saying? What does that mean? 1884 01:44:09,560 --> 01:44:11,278 It's a familiar Mexican greeting. 1885 01:44:11,480 --> 01:44:14,631 You in the short jeans and the funny mustache, give me the gun. 1886 01:44:15,920 --> 01:44:17,114 Melissa. 1887 01:44:19,920 --> 01:44:21,069 And the mug. 1888 01:44:24,080 --> 01:44:25,308 Please don't hurt her. 1889 01:44:26,160 --> 01:44:29,038 - Take her. - Are you okay? It's okay. 1890 01:44:32,720 --> 01:44:33,914 Now the keys, please. 1891 01:44:34,480 --> 01:44:35,595 Here. Here, here, here. 1892 01:44:35,920 --> 01:44:39,151 Okay, great. You have your drugs, so you don't have to kill us. 1893 01:44:39,360 --> 01:44:41,112 Oh, I don't have to kill you, huh? 1894 01:44:41,360 --> 01:44:42,395 You take my drugs. 1895 01:44:42,600 --> 01:44:45,558 You make me cross the border into this fucked-up country. 1896 01:44:45,760 --> 01:44:47,910 You try to burn my face with steam! 1897 01:44:48,120 --> 01:44:50,395 - I'm sorry. - You destroy my car! 1898 01:44:52,240 --> 01:44:55,994 And I don't like what you do to my man every time we meet. 1899 01:44:58,320 --> 01:45:00,390 You are the worst family I've ever met. 1900 01:45:02,080 --> 01:45:04,230 But, you're right, I don't have to kill you. 1901 01:45:06,800 --> 01:45:09,155 I want to kill you. All of you. 1902 01:45:09,560 --> 01:45:11,391 Stop. Stop. 1903 01:45:13,040 --> 01:45:15,918 Don't do this. Don't kill these people. 1904 01:45:17,000 --> 01:45:20,595 This is all my fault. I'm the one that did this. I'm the drug dealer here. 1905 01:45:20,800 --> 01:45:22,153 This is an innocent family... 1906 01:45:22,360 --> 01:45:24,590 ...in the wrong place at the wrong time. Okay? 1907 01:45:25,920 --> 01:45:27,194 And this kid? 1908 01:45:27,520 --> 01:45:30,637 This kid's got the biggest fucking heart I've ever seen in my life. 1909 01:45:31,480 --> 01:45:33,118 And I'm lucky to call him a friend. 1910 01:45:33,440 --> 01:45:37,274 Man, an hour ago, I would have killed this girl for you. 1911 01:45:37,480 --> 01:45:40,597 But she's tough as hell. And a lot smarter than me. 1912 01:45:41,880 --> 01:45:43,154 And this one. 1913 01:45:44,760 --> 01:45:47,479 You. Sarah. 1914 01:45:48,520 --> 01:45:50,715 You're the strongest woman I've ever met. 1915 01:45:50,920 --> 01:45:52,672 And you'd make a great mom. 1916 01:45:55,320 --> 01:45:56,833 I love all of them. 1917 01:45:58,920 --> 01:46:00,148 Don't kill them. 1918 01:46:00,720 --> 01:46:01,914 Please. 1919 01:46:03,120 --> 01:46:04,439 Just kill me. 1920 01:46:05,360 --> 01:46:07,794 - Tell you what, I'll make a deal, okay? - Okay. 1921 01:46:08,040 --> 01:46:10,395 I kill you first so you don't watch your family die. 1922 01:46:21,480 --> 01:46:22,993 David. 1923 01:46:31,720 --> 01:46:33,551 Kenny! That was amazing! 1924 01:46:40,360 --> 01:46:42,078 I'd like to think I taught him that. 1925 01:46:42,720 --> 01:46:45,314 - Mm. - I know I taught him that. 1926 01:46:47,120 --> 01:46:49,076 Put that tongue back in your mouth, young man. 1927 01:46:50,880 --> 01:46:52,108 Oh. 1928 01:46:52,320 --> 01:46:54,151 Wow. 1929 01:46:54,360 --> 01:46:56,874 - You kiss a lot better than my sister. - Hey! 1930 01:46:59,040 --> 01:47:00,314 - One, two, three. - Mm-hm. 1931 01:47:09,720 --> 01:47:13,679 Well, Mr. Chacon, on behalf of the United States of America... 1932 01:47:13,880 --> 01:47:15,916 ...I'd like to welcome you to our country. 1933 01:47:16,120 --> 01:47:17,519 Grab a seat. 1934 01:47:18,560 --> 01:47:20,915 Sorry you won't get to experience the freedom part. 1935 01:47:21,320 --> 01:47:23,356 Don, you're my hero. 1936 01:47:27,320 --> 01:47:29,151 I want you to use those zip ties tonight. 1937 01:47:43,120 --> 01:47:44,155 Here. 1938 01:47:44,960 --> 01:47:46,234 Thank you, David. 1939 01:47:48,880 --> 01:47:51,155 - We're gonna go. - Not so fast. 1940 01:47:51,400 --> 01:47:52,594 - Oh, no, Don. - Dad, please. 1941 01:47:52,800 --> 01:47:54,233 Girls, hush. 1942 01:47:57,040 --> 01:47:58,917 I believe that you are good people. 1943 01:47:59,120 --> 01:48:01,270 But you broke the law. All of you. 1944 01:48:01,560 --> 01:48:04,996 And worse than that, you put my wife and daughter's lives in danger. 1945 01:48:05,560 --> 01:48:08,393 - Sorry. - Gonna have to place you under arrest. 1946 01:48:08,600 --> 01:48:09,828 - Don, why? - No, Dad, don't. 1947 01:48:10,080 --> 01:48:11,513 And I'm gonna do just that... 1948 01:48:12,480 --> 01:48:14,357 ...right after I turn around... 1949 01:48:15,280 --> 01:48:16,554 ...and hug my family. 1950 01:48:29,160 --> 01:48:30,673 David, come on. 1951 01:48:38,480 --> 01:48:39,674 It's all here! 1952 01:48:40,080 --> 01:48:42,548 I am blown away, David. Great job. 1953 01:48:43,000 --> 01:48:45,150 But it's late. 1954 01:48:45,600 --> 01:48:48,512 Deadline was last night, so, sorry, buddy, no deal. 1955 01:48:49,480 --> 01:48:52,472 Brad, I almost got killed over this shit. Twice. 1956 01:48:52,680 --> 01:48:56,468 I'm not gonna be an asshole about this. I got two tons of premium weed. 1957 01:48:56,840 --> 01:49:00,515 Yes! And you got Chacon pinched in the process... 1958 01:49:00,760 --> 01:49:03,832 - ... which is a huge win for team Brad. - Mm-hm. 1959 01:49:04,040 --> 01:49:07,157 So how about we shake hands and call it even. 1960 01:49:09,920 --> 01:49:13,799 - You were never gonna pay me, were you? - Oh! Bingo. Heh-heh. 1961 01:49:15,120 --> 01:49:17,350 Was that a dick move? I can't even tell anymore. 1962 01:49:20,640 --> 01:49:22,392 - Move! - Go! Go! Go! 1963 01:49:23,240 --> 01:49:24,275 DEA! 1964 01:49:25,200 --> 01:49:27,395 - Down, down, down! - Get on the ground! Freeze! 1965 01:49:29,560 --> 01:49:31,039 Clear! 1966 01:49:33,320 --> 01:49:34,469 You double-crossed me. 1967 01:49:34,800 --> 01:49:36,358 Kind of a dick move, right? 1968 01:49:37,440 --> 01:49:38,998 You got nothing on me! 1969 01:49:39,280 --> 01:49:40,679 Nothing at all. 1970 01:49:41,680 --> 01:49:44,240 Oh, shit! Look at this guy. 1971 01:49:44,440 --> 01:49:46,317 Who let in 50 Cent? 1972 01:49:47,920 --> 01:49:50,070 - Nice work, David. - Thank you, Don. 1973 01:49:50,280 --> 01:49:52,316 Now, I know you don't get your money... 1974 01:49:52,560 --> 01:49:55,677 ...but doing the right thing had to feel a whole lot better. 1975 01:49:56,080 --> 01:49:57,479 No. 1976 01:49:58,080 --> 01:49:59,433 All right, maybe a little bit. 1977 01:49:59,640 --> 01:50:04,077 As promised, in exchange for your testimony against Chacon and Gurdlinger... 1978 01:50:04,320 --> 01:50:07,551 ...we have to keep you in witness protection for three to six months. 1979 01:50:07,760 --> 01:50:10,194 - Just me? - Just you. 1980 01:50:12,760 --> 01:50:16,639 Oh. And any other witnesses to the crime. 1981 01:50:27,480 --> 01:50:29,232 - There you are. - I don't care. 1982 01:50:29,440 --> 01:50:31,431 - Look at this hot nerd. - Rub some dirt on it. 1983 01:50:31,680 --> 01:50:33,159 - What are you doing? - Look at this. 1984 01:50:35,786 --> 01:50:38,100 You gotta tell Casey to stop posting this stuff. 1985 01:50:38,425 --> 01:50:40,991 It's already got a million hits... ... and growing. 1986 01:50:41,751 --> 01:50:43,918 Okay, okay, I'll tell her after lunch. Oof, you know what else? 1987 01:50:44,120 --> 01:50:45,678 I can see down your tank top. 1988 01:50:52,440 --> 01:50:53,509 - Hey there. - Hey. 1989 01:50:53,720 --> 01:50:56,792 - Wanted to introduce ourselves. I'm Dan. - Hey, Dan. 1990 01:50:57,040 --> 01:50:58,871 My wife, Kathy. We just moved in. 1991 01:50:59,320 --> 01:51:00,673 - Hello. - We're the Johnsons. 1992 01:51:00,920 --> 01:51:02,990 Oh, great. Welcome to the neighborhood. 1993 01:51:03,440 --> 01:51:04,953 Hey, guys. Come here. 1994 01:51:05,160 --> 01:51:06,275 Come meet our neighbors. 1995 01:51:06,480 --> 01:51:07,515 I'm David. 1996 01:51:07,920 --> 01:51:09,876 And this is my family right here. 1997 01:51:10,040 --> 01:51:11,268 This is my son, Kenny. 1998 01:51:11,440 --> 01:51:12,634 My daughter, Casey. 1999 01:51:12,800 --> 01:51:15,314 - And this is my wife, Sarah. - Nice to meet you. 2000 01:51:15,520 --> 01:51:18,034 - We're the Millers. - Ah. Pleasure. 2001 01:51:18,200 --> 01:51:20,555 Thanks for saying hi. All right, take care now. 2002 01:51:20,720 --> 01:51:22,597 - See you soon. Bye. - Bye. 2003 01:51:22,920 --> 01:51:25,115 - I don't like them. - I don't like them either. 2004 01:51:25,320 --> 01:51:27,709 Why introduce yourself? I mean, who the fuck are you? 2005 01:51:27,880 --> 01:51:30,872 I can't believe this. We're stuck in the suburbs. 2006 01:51:31,040 --> 01:51:35,033 Now, this sucks. I can't wait for the trial to be over. Gotta get outta here. 2007 01:51:40,400 --> 01:51:41,435 Stick to the big A. 2008 01:51:41,600 --> 01:51:43,158 - Anal. - Abstinence, you meant. 2009 01:51:43,320 --> 01:51:45,117 - Neither makes a baby. - He confuses... 2010 01:51:45,280 --> 01:51:47,953 Oscars! For all of you! 2011 01:51:48,120 --> 01:51:51,112 That's very nice of you, but we're not that good of an actor, no. 2012 01:51:54,600 --> 01:51:56,875 - Those guys are picking on that girl. - Where? 2013 01:51:59,520 --> 01:52:01,556 - I'll never forget these moments. - What? 2014 01:52:01,720 --> 01:52:04,188 - And I hope you don't either. - Ha-ha-ha. 2015 01:52:04,640 --> 01:52:05,868 And, action. 2016 01:52:08,040 --> 01:52:09,951 It takes two men to open this mini-fridge. 2017 01:52:10,520 --> 01:52:12,556 Aah! 2018 01:52:12,720 --> 01:52:16,599 It's literally so hard! 2019 01:52:17,800 --> 01:52:20,030 - Okay, you guys, seriously, you're mak... - Ha-ha-ha! 2020 01:52:20,440 --> 01:52:21,475 Look, look, look. 2021 01:52:22,960 --> 01:52:24,757 - Ha, ha! - Leave the girls alone. 2022 01:52:24,960 --> 01:52:28,077 What are you gonna do, freckles? What are you gonna do, Don Knotts? 2023 01:52:28,240 --> 01:52:30,310 What are you gonna do, guy with great posture? 2024 01:52:32,640 --> 01:52:34,790 Ow! Broke my nose! 2025 01:52:35,160 --> 01:52:37,390 I'm terrified of blood, you know what I'm saying? 2026 01:52:37,760 --> 01:52:40,672 You just deviated my septum, you know what I'm saying? 2027 01:52:40,840 --> 01:52:44,276 Uh, I want a Band-Aid. 2028 01:52:45,680 --> 01:52:47,750 - Closed? - They're closed. Till morning. 2029 01:52:47,920 --> 01:52:50,388 Oklahoma. Oh, poop. 2030 01:52:50,560 --> 01:52:52,630 Cheese and rice. Ants on a log. 2031 01:52:52,800 --> 01:52:55,109 Poop on a popsicle. Oh, cock marbles. 2032 01:52:55,280 --> 01:52:58,158 - Oh, fuck. - Ha-ha-ha. 2033 01:53:12,800 --> 01:53:15,439 It just stopped at a certain point... 2034 01:53:15,640 --> 01:53:18,029 ...and you just couldn't insert it any more. 2035 01:53:18,200 --> 01:53:21,351 Well, I just looked like I had, like, a Stormtrooper dick. 2036 01:53:24,800 --> 01:53:27,837 So I'm just gonna... There we go. There they are. 2037 01:53:28,000 --> 01:53:29,069 This is crazy. 2038 01:53:29,280 --> 01:53:32,352 Those are just gorgeous, gorgeous, gorgeous breasts. 2039 01:53:34,880 --> 01:53:36,552 Cut! All right. Cut. 2040 01:53:37,200 --> 01:53:38,918 - And, action. - Whoo! 2041 01:53:39,674 --> 01:53:42,103 - How about a little victory music, shall we? - Yes, please. 2042 01:53:45,160 --> 01:53:46,798 - I love this song! - This is awesome! 2043 01:53:50,360 --> 01:53:55,115 You're job's a joke, you're broke Your love life's D. O.A. 2044 01:53:55,280 --> 01:53:58,272 I'll be there for you 2045 01:53:58,440 --> 01:53:59,953 When the rain starts to fall 2046 01:54:00,120 --> 01:54:03,271 I'll be there for you 2047 01:54:03,480 --> 01:54:05,994 'Cause you're there for me too 2048 01:54:06,160 --> 01:54:08,515 That was really good. 2049 01:54:10,440 --> 01:54:12,670 That's very funny. 2050 01:58:23,160 --> 01:58:25,196 Adi�s, Millers. 2051 01:58:25,864 --> 01:58:31,275 sync,fix: titler