1
00:00:26,903 --> 00:00:29,156
♪ ♪

2
00:00:39,750 --> 00:00:41,918
♪ ♪

3
00:00:58,477 --> 00:01:01,812
Today is gonna be
the best day ever.

4
00:01:01,813 --> 00:01:03,314
How do I know that?

5
00:01:03,315 --> 00:01:05,149
Because every day
is the best day ever.

6
00:01:05,150 --> 00:01:07,234
I love my life.

7
00:01:07,235 --> 00:01:10,446
I love sunshine,
I love butterflies,

8
00:01:10,447 --> 00:01:14,742
but more than anything,
I love Doug.

9
00:01:14,743 --> 00:01:16,911
Hey!

10
00:01:16,912 --> 00:01:18,747
Shut the fuck up.

11
00:01:19,581 --> 00:01:20,915
Fucking piece of shit.

12
00:01:20,916 --> 00:01:23,250
That's Doug, also known as

13
00:01:23,251 --> 00:01:25,003
the best owner in the world.

14
00:01:26,963 --> 00:01:29,715
I still remember
the first day we met.

15
00:01:29,716 --> 00:01:32,343
She was, too, flirting with you.

16
00:01:32,344 --> 00:01:34,678
Hey, babies.

17
00:01:34,679 --> 00:01:37,389
The second Doug laid eyes on me,

18
00:01:37,390 --> 00:01:39,725
we knew we were meant
to be together.

19
00:01:39,726 --> 00:01:41,393
Fuck.

20
00:01:41,394 --> 00:01:44,773
Ever since that day,
he and I have been inseparable.

21
00:01:45,565 --> 00:01:47,274
Why is Doug so great?

22
00:01:47,275 --> 00:01:48,692
- Where do I begin?
- Get down.

23
00:01:48,693 --> 00:01:51,070
He loves being around me
so much,

24
00:01:51,071 --> 00:01:53,281
he doesn't even have a job.

25
00:01:54,491 --> 00:01:57,201
Also, Doug doesn't get me
boring dog toys.

26
00:01:57,202 --> 00:01:59,328
He lets me come up
with my own toys.

27
00:01:59,329 --> 00:02:00,746
Hi, Reggie. What you got?

28
00:02:00,747 --> 00:02:02,957
Like this stretchy thing.

29
00:02:02,958 --> 00:02:05,292
- What the fuck?
- Uh...

30
00:02:05,293 --> 00:02:06,418
Those aren't mine.

31
00:02:06,419 --> 00:02:08,295
There is a simple explanation.

32
00:02:08,296 --> 00:02:09,880
This was supposed to be
a Christmas present.

33
00:02:09,881 --> 00:02:11,048
Doug, it's July.

34
00:02:11,049 --> 00:02:12,550
Sometimes I worry

35
00:02:12,551 --> 00:02:14,468
if I'm doing a good job
making Doug happy.

36
00:02:14,469 --> 00:02:16,220
- You don't get it.
- I'm done. Reggie.

37
00:02:16,221 --> 00:02:18,305
But then I realized
I do make Doug happy.

38
00:02:18,306 --> 00:02:20,641
What are you doing?
You don't even like the dog.

39
00:02:20,642 --> 00:02:22,643
I love this dog.

40
00:02:22,644 --> 00:02:24,228
And that makes me happy.

41
00:02:24,229 --> 00:02:26,981
All that matters
is that you like him,

42
00:02:26,982 --> 00:02:29,233
and I like that
you don't get to have him.

43
00:02:29,234 --> 00:02:32,111
You are a total fucking loser.

44
00:02:32,112 --> 00:02:34,321
Yeah, a loser with a dog.

45
00:02:34,322 --> 00:02:37,157
Honestly,
the only thing in the world

46
00:02:37,158 --> 00:02:39,869
that Doug maybe loves
more than me

47
00:02:39,870 --> 00:02:42,872
His penis.

48
00:02:42,873 --> 00:02:44,665
He gives it haircuts.

49
00:02:44,666 --> 00:02:46,125
He watches TV with it.

50
00:02:46,126 --> 00:02:47,835
Flip it around!

51
00:02:47,836 --> 00:02:49,086
Stop staring. You're ruining it.

52
00:02:49,087 --> 00:02:51,130
And the way he pets that thing,

53
00:02:51,131 --> 00:02:53,757
sometimes I wish I was a penis.

54
00:02:53,758 --> 00:02:55,342
But every time
I try to play with it,

55
00:02:55,343 --> 00:02:57,177
he gets so possessive.

56
00:02:57,178 --> 00:02:58,679
Get off! Get... Bad dog!

57
00:02:58,680 --> 00:03:00,389
The key to any good relationship

58
00:03:00,390 --> 00:03:01,765
is having things in common.

59
00:03:01,766 --> 00:03:03,018
We both like barking.

60
00:03:06,605 --> 00:03:08,648
We both love a good scratch.

61
00:03:12,402 --> 00:03:17,157
And we can stay up all night
just talking for hours.

62
00:03:18,491 --> 00:03:20,451
You fucked up my life,
didn't you?

63
00:03:20,452 --> 00:03:22,703
Even though I don't
understand what he's saying...

64
00:03:22,704 --> 00:03:26,707
She never would've found out
if it wasn't for your dumb ass.

65
00:03:26,708 --> 00:03:29,044
I can tell he loves me.

66
00:03:31,546 --> 00:03:33,881
And while I don't know
that many human beings,

67
00:03:33,882 --> 00:03:36,800
I think it's safe to assume
he's one of the best.

68
00:03:36,801 --> 00:03:38,928
Goddamn it.

69
00:03:38,929 --> 00:03:40,429
It's bullshit, Mom.

70
00:03:40,430 --> 00:03:41,889
They're kicking me out

71
00:03:41,890 --> 00:03:43,641
'cause your last check
wasn't enough for rent.

72
00:03:43,642 --> 00:03:45,809
You might say
Doug is messy, but lately...

73
00:03:45,810 --> 00:03:47,811
No, I'm not gonna
move back home.

74
00:03:47,812 --> 00:03:49,188
He's been much better

75
00:03:49,189 --> 00:03:50,522
at putting his toys away.

76
00:03:50,523 --> 00:03:51,982
No, I'm sorry, I'm sorry. Look.

77
00:03:51,983 --> 00:03:53,525
It's just, you know that I can't

78
00:03:53,526 --> 00:03:55,737
live that close to a school.

79
00:03:56,696 --> 00:03:58,823
No!

80
00:04:02,077 --> 00:04:05,997
Bad dog! That's my favorite
fucking bong, dude!

81
00:04:11,836 --> 00:04:15,131
Oh. You like that ball,
don't you?

82
00:04:16,383 --> 00:04:18,175
Lately, Doug has been playing

83
00:04:18,176 --> 00:04:20,678
a brand-new game with me
called fetch-and-fuck.

84
00:04:20,679 --> 00:04:22,012
Fetch!

85
00:04:22,013 --> 00:04:23,514
Basically, Doug drops me off

86
00:04:23,515 --> 00:04:25,307
really far away...

87
00:04:25,308 --> 00:04:27,017
Sayonara, ke-mo sah-bee.

88
00:04:27,018 --> 00:04:30,312
Throws the ball
and drives home without me.

89
00:04:30,313 --> 00:04:32,523
Then it's my turn
to get the ball

90
00:04:32,524 --> 00:04:34,108
and find my way back home.

91
00:04:34,109 --> 00:04:35,985
When I bring the ball back,

92
00:04:35,986 --> 00:04:37,695
- he says...
- Fuck.

93
00:04:37,696 --> 00:04:40,739
And that's
how I know I won the game.

94
00:04:40,740 --> 00:04:42,033
Fetch!

95
00:04:43,118 --> 00:04:45,077
We've been playing it
a lot lately.

96
00:04:45,078 --> 00:04:46,578
- Fuck!
- Sometimes we play it

97
00:04:46,579 --> 00:04:48,455
three or four times
in the same day.

98
00:04:48,456 --> 00:04:49,665
Fetch!

99
00:04:49,666 --> 00:04:52,001
Fuck.

100
00:04:52,002 --> 00:04:53,794
Fetch! Fuck!

101
00:04:53,795 --> 00:04:56,006
Fuck! Fuck.

102
00:04:58,883 --> 00:05:00,551
Holy fuck!

103
00:05:00,552 --> 00:05:01,969
"Holy fuck" is right.

104
00:05:01,970 --> 00:05:03,220
I win again!

105
00:05:03,221 --> 00:05:05,098
That's it.

106
00:05:05,890 --> 00:05:08,518
This ends now.

107
00:05:10,103 --> 00:05:12,521
♪ You only got
a couple miles to go ♪

108
00:05:12,522 --> 00:05:14,565
♪ If you're trying
to drive me insane... ♪

109
00:05:14,566 --> 00:05:17,026
These road trips are the best.

110
00:05:17,027 --> 00:05:19,486
Because you get to see
the exciting world

111
00:05:19,487 --> 00:05:21,114
outside our town.

112
00:05:24,117 --> 00:05:26,285
Keep driving, Doug.

113
00:05:26,286 --> 00:05:28,495
Don't make it too easy on me.

114
00:05:28,496 --> 00:05:31,040
I love a challenge.

115
00:05:31,041 --> 00:05:34,793
♪ 'Cause I hide from everyone ♪

116
00:05:34,794 --> 00:05:37,213
♪ Shine on me ♪

117
00:05:38,048 --> 00:05:40,175
♪ Shine on me ♪

118
00:05:41,092 --> 00:05:43,928
♪ Shine on me ♪

119
00:05:45,013 --> 00:05:47,223
♪ Shine on me ♪

120
00:05:49,768 --> 00:05:52,269
This round's gonna be
the hardest one yet,

121
00:05:52,270 --> 00:05:56,356
because we went way further
than we've ever gone before.

122
00:05:56,357 --> 00:05:59,610
In fact, I have no idea
where we are.

123
00:05:59,611 --> 00:06:01,111
And that's exciting.

124
00:06:01,112 --> 00:06:02,822
♪ Shine on me ♪

125
00:06:03,656 --> 00:06:05,407
♪ Shine on me... ♪

126
00:06:05,408 --> 00:06:08,452
I know the world seems like
a scary place sometimes,

127
00:06:08,453 --> 00:06:10,079
but I don't worry.

128
00:06:10,080 --> 00:06:11,622
Good luck fetching this.

129
00:06:11,623 --> 00:06:14,166
Because I'm always
safe at Doug's side.

130
00:06:14,167 --> 00:06:16,002
♪ Shine on me ♪

131
00:06:19,672 --> 00:06:22,050
♪ Shine on me. ♪

132
00:06:33,228 --> 00:06:36,272
♪ ♪

133
00:06:48,785 --> 00:06:51,830
♪ ♪

134
00:06:58,086 --> 00:07:02,131
Sure, Doug really
challenges me with this game,

135
00:07:02,132 --> 00:07:04,801
but that's just because
he believes in me.

136
00:07:06,761 --> 00:07:08,554
You know what they say.

137
00:07:08,555 --> 00:07:12,016
The best relationships
are the hard ones.

138
00:07:12,892 --> 00:07:15,019
You have to put in the work.

139
00:07:15,854 --> 00:07:17,896
You got to have courage.

140
00:07:17,897 --> 00:07:21,693
And you always need to remember
that real love...

141
00:07:23,153 --> 00:07:25,572
is never easy.

142
00:07:35,707 --> 00:07:37,876
♪ ♪

143
00:07:47,719 --> 00:07:50,387
But even though
I love this game,

144
00:07:50,388 --> 00:07:53,223
I kind of want it to be over.

145
00:07:53,224 --> 00:07:55,601
Because, well...

146
00:07:55,602 --> 00:07:58,146
I really just want to be home.

147
00:08:10,658 --> 00:08:13,660
Okay. Time to get moving.

148
00:08:13,661 --> 00:08:16,331
Going back to Doug's.

149
00:08:20,460 --> 00:08:22,337
This is a nice neighborhood.

150
00:08:23,963 --> 00:08:25,881
I like all the trash.

151
00:08:25,882 --> 00:08:27,341
And the needles.

152
00:08:27,342 --> 00:08:29,344
So many needles.

153
00:08:30,220 --> 00:08:31,595
Hey, honey.

154
00:08:31,596 --> 00:08:34,097
You ever been
with an Afghan before?

155
00:08:34,098 --> 00:08:38,102
Uh, no, I-I don't
think so, but thank you.

156
00:08:40,104 --> 00:08:43,565
Well, well, well.
What do we have here?

157
00:08:43,566 --> 00:08:44,858
You lost?

158
00:08:44,859 --> 00:08:47,069
Hi there, uh, big dogs.

159
00:08:47,070 --> 00:08:49,112
Yes, I am lost.

160
00:08:49,113 --> 00:08:50,697
I'm trying to get
to Doug's place.

161
00:08:50,698 --> 00:08:52,532
Do you... do you know which way
that is from here?

162
00:08:52,533 --> 00:08:53,951
Hmm...

163
00:08:53,952 --> 00:08:55,452
- You say Doug's place?
- I did. Yeah.

164
00:08:55,453 --> 00:08:57,454
Oh, yeah, yeah,
I know which way that is.

165
00:08:57,455 --> 00:08:58,622
Oh, great.

166
00:08:58,623 --> 00:09:00,457
Right up my fucking ass,
you little shit.

167
00:09:00,458 --> 00:09:02,125
Oh, no, that can't be right.

168
00:09:02,126 --> 00:09:05,379
O-O-Okay, well,
I'll just be on my way.

169
00:09:05,380 --> 00:09:07,673
Uh, can-can I please have
my ball back?

170
00:09:07,674 --> 00:09:10,634
Your ball? You'll be lucky if
I let you leave with your life.

171
00:09:10,635 --> 00:09:13,512
Hey! Who in the fuck
is making all that noise

172
00:09:13,513 --> 00:09:15,555
- in my fucking alley?
- Whoa, who's this guy?

173
00:09:15,556 --> 00:09:17,266
Oh, you don't want me
to come around

174
00:09:17,267 --> 00:09:19,142
this fucking corner,
now, do you?

175
00:09:19,143 --> 00:09:21,103
Shit's gonna get crackin'.
Trust me.

176
00:09:21,104 --> 00:09:22,980
You want to dance,
motherfuckers, huh?

177
00:09:22,981 --> 00:09:24,439
You want to dance?

178
00:09:24,440 --> 00:09:26,817
Let's do this.

179
00:09:26,818 --> 00:09:29,069
What's up, bitches? Huh?

180
00:09:29,070 --> 00:09:30,320
Oh, he's tiny.

181
00:09:30,321 --> 00:09:31,697
The shadow... I thought he was...

182
00:09:31,698 --> 00:09:33,073
I thought he was fucking big.

183
00:09:33,074 --> 00:09:34,908
Yeah, we can destroy
this guy, right?

184
00:09:34,909 --> 00:09:37,619
Yeah, go ahead, bite me,
you raggedy motherfuckers.

185
00:09:37,620 --> 00:09:38,954
I dare you.

186
00:09:38,955 --> 00:09:40,831
You know how many diseases
is up in me?

187
00:09:40,832 --> 00:09:43,500
Rabies, scabies,
whatever disease you can get

188
00:09:43,501 --> 00:09:45,294
from tongue-fucking
a dead squirrel.

189
00:09:45,295 --> 00:09:48,673
Which I did last night
'cause I'm crazy, man.

190
00:09:49,716 --> 00:09:51,508
That's a 37-inch vertical.

191
00:09:51,509 --> 00:09:53,468
I'm-a tell you right now,
you run up on me

192
00:09:53,469 --> 00:09:56,221
and I'll stick this paw
right up your ass and in his,

193
00:09:56,222 --> 00:09:58,098
- like a shish kebab.
- Whoa. This guy seems nuts.

194
00:09:58,099 --> 00:10:00,100
Look at the way he's barking
at his own ass.

195
00:10:00,101 --> 00:10:01,518
I'll do it. I'll do it.

196
00:10:01,519 --> 00:10:03,103
I'll bite my own ass off!

197
00:10:03,104 --> 00:10:05,564
Oh, man, the fuck is wrong
with this guy?

198
00:10:05,565 --> 00:10:07,441
I'm so crazy
I'll fuck the trash.

199
00:10:07,442 --> 00:10:08,817
You like it, don't you?

200
00:10:08,818 --> 00:10:09,943
You like it.

201
00:10:09,944 --> 00:10:11,153
You want to get recycled?

202
00:10:11,154 --> 00:10:12,654
Anybody got a twisty tie?

203
00:10:12,655 --> 00:10:14,531
'Cause I'm fucking this bag up.

204
00:10:14,532 --> 00:10:15,782
Okay, who's next?

205
00:10:15,783 --> 00:10:17,284
He's freaking me out.
Let's bounce.

206
00:10:17,285 --> 00:10:19,328
Fight you or I'll fuck you!
Dealer's choice.

207
00:10:19,329 --> 00:10:21,539
But either way,
you're getting worms.

208
00:10:22,874 --> 00:10:24,791
Large breeds, man...
These motherfuckers.

209
00:10:24,792 --> 00:10:28,503
Man, look, always falling for
that crazy little dog trick.

210
00:10:28,504 --> 00:10:29,755
Hey. You with me, kid?

211
00:10:29,756 --> 00:10:31,006
'Cause this block
ain't for dogs like you.

212
00:10:31,007 --> 00:10:32,257
We should get the hell
out of here.

213
00:10:32,258 --> 00:10:33,884
But my tennis ball...

214
00:10:33,885 --> 00:10:35,720
Ah, fuck it.
We'll get you another one.

215
00:10:40,683 --> 00:10:43,435
I'm Bug, by the way.
You got a name?

216
00:10:43,436 --> 00:10:44,644
Oh, uh, right. Sorry.

217
00:10:44,645 --> 00:10:45,896
It's good to meet you, Bug.

218
00:10:45,897 --> 00:10:47,189
M-My name is Shitbag.

219
00:10:47,190 --> 00:10:48,482
What?

220
00:10:48,483 --> 00:10:50,359
Oh, it's short
for Dumbass Shitbag,

221
00:10:50,360 --> 00:10:53,070
but sometimes
Doug pronounces it Fucknugget.

222
00:10:53,071 --> 00:10:55,655
Uh, none of those
sound like names.

223
00:10:55,656 --> 00:10:59,868
Oh. Well, Doug's lady friend
used to call me Reggie.

224
00:10:59,869 --> 00:11:02,329
Reggie. There you go.
Yeah, we're gonna go with that.

225
00:11:02,330 --> 00:11:03,663
Let's keep moving.

226
00:11:03,664 --> 00:11:05,957
So, uh, how long you been
a stray for, Reggie?

227
00:11:05,958 --> 00:11:08,168
- Oh, I... no, I'm not a stray.
- Oh, you're not?

228
00:11:08,169 --> 00:11:10,253
- I-I'm just out here temporarily.
- Oh.

229
00:11:10,254 --> 00:11:11,880
I actually have an owner.

230
00:11:11,881 --> 00:11:14,424
We're playing this game where
he drops me off far away...

231
00:11:14,425 --> 00:11:15,634
- Mm-hmm.
- Throws a ball...

232
00:11:15,635 --> 00:11:16,802
- Right.
- And then it's my turn

233
00:11:16,803 --> 00:11:18,262
to bring the ball back home.

234
00:11:23,601 --> 00:11:25,102
Holy shit.

235
00:11:25,103 --> 00:11:26,978
- Yeah.
- That's, uh...

236
00:11:26,979 --> 00:11:28,438
I'm sorry, man,

237
00:11:28,439 --> 00:11:30,107
but that's incredibly tragic.

238
00:11:30,108 --> 00:11:31,775
And the funniest fucking thing

239
00:11:31,776 --> 00:11:33,735
I've heard
in a long fucking time.

240
00:11:33,736 --> 00:11:35,362
Well, I'm glad
you're having a good laugh.

241
00:11:35,363 --> 00:11:37,614
Take it from me, kid,
that owner of yours,

242
00:11:37,615 --> 00:11:39,825
he's not playing
any game with you.

243
00:11:39,826 --> 00:11:41,868
- He left your ass, okay?
- Huh?

244
00:11:41,869 --> 00:11:44,454
You are officially a stray.

245
00:11:44,455 --> 00:11:45,705
D-Don't call me that.

246
00:11:45,706 --> 00:11:47,332
It's nothing to be ashamed of.

247
00:11:47,333 --> 00:11:50,210
I'm a stray, and I'm having
the time of my life.

248
00:11:50,211 --> 00:11:52,129
You'll learn. How old are you?

249
00:11:52,130 --> 00:11:53,338
I'm two.

250
00:11:53,339 --> 00:11:55,841
Well, I'm three,
and I have seen it all.

251
00:11:55,842 --> 00:11:57,134
Paw to God.

252
00:11:57,135 --> 00:11:59,386
I once saw a dog
that was half Labrador

253
00:11:59,387 --> 00:12:00,887
and half poodle.

254
00:12:00,888 --> 00:12:02,764
- A-A labradoodle.
- No, no, no, no.

255
00:12:02,765 --> 00:12:04,474
- A poo-dor.
- A poo-dor?

256
00:12:04,475 --> 00:12:05,684
The other way around.

257
00:12:05,685 --> 00:12:07,310
- Even fucking weirder.
- Yeah.

258
00:12:07,311 --> 00:12:09,813
Point is,
life out here on your own

259
00:12:09,814 --> 00:12:13,150
can be fucking awesome
as long as you go by the rules.

260
00:12:13,151 --> 00:12:15,485
Well, what rules?

261
00:12:15,486 --> 00:12:16,820
Rule number one:

262
00:12:16,821 --> 00:12:18,738
You want something,
you pee on it.

263
00:12:18,739 --> 00:12:20,574
Whatever you pee on, it's yours.

264
00:12:20,575 --> 00:12:21,867
Let's try it out.

265
00:12:21,868 --> 00:12:23,410
You-you see that lamppost
over there?

266
00:12:23,411 --> 00:12:25,495
- Yeah.
- Why don't you go over there and pee on that?

267
00:12:25,496 --> 00:12:27,038
And you're sure this is okay?

268
00:12:27,039 --> 00:12:28,957
Go ahead.
Ain't nobody giving a fuck.

269
00:12:28,958 --> 00:12:31,084
You're a fucking stray now.
That's my point.

270
00:12:31,085 --> 00:12:34,629
Well, I'm-I'm not a stray,
but yeah, okay.

271
00:12:34,630 --> 00:12:36,006
Congratulations.

272
00:12:36,007 --> 00:12:38,259
You now own a lamppost.

273
00:12:39,177 --> 00:12:40,510
Oh, wow.

274
00:12:40,511 --> 00:12:42,345
Now, let's talk rule number two:

275
00:12:42,346 --> 00:12:44,681
You can pretty much fuck
whatever you want.

276
00:12:44,682 --> 00:12:46,516
Have you ever humped
anything before?

277
00:12:46,517 --> 00:12:48,602
Well, I wouldn't say
I've humped, per se,

278
00:12:48,603 --> 00:12:50,854
but I do like to dance
on Doug's leg.

279
00:12:50,855 --> 00:12:52,397
Dude, that wasn't dancing.

280
00:12:52,398 --> 00:12:55,108
Baby, you was humping...
The devil's dance.

281
00:12:55,109 --> 00:12:58,403
But now the world
is like a buffet

282
00:12:58,404 --> 00:13:00,572
- for your tiny dog dick.
- Really?

283
00:13:00,573 --> 00:13:02,782
You know what?
I recently fucked this couch.

284
00:13:02,783 --> 00:13:04,075
- No.
- Mm-hmm.

285
00:13:04,076 --> 00:13:05,785
Best sex of my life.

286
00:13:05,786 --> 00:13:07,287
- Wow. Really?
- Yeah.

287
00:13:07,288 --> 00:13:08,872
Oh, a-a-and she's dirty, too.

288
00:13:08,873 --> 00:13:10,373
Oh, well, I-I can tell.

289
00:13:10,374 --> 00:13:12,626
Looks like she hasn't
been washed in years.

290
00:13:12,627 --> 00:13:14,545
I'll see you later, baby.

291
00:13:17,757 --> 00:13:19,717
It was nice to meet you.

292
00:13:20,510 --> 00:13:23,053
Now, rule number three,

293
00:13:23,054 --> 00:13:26,681
and this is the most important,
bar none:

294
00:13:26,682 --> 00:13:29,976
You are on your own.

295
00:13:29,977 --> 00:13:31,228
That's awful.

296
00:13:31,229 --> 00:13:32,646
That's not a bad thing,
all right?

297
00:13:32,647 --> 00:13:34,314
Now, right now
you're freaking out

298
00:13:34,315 --> 00:13:36,441
'cause you feel like, you know,
y-you need this Doug guy.

299
00:13:36,442 --> 00:13:38,693
- I do.
- But no, no, trust me.

300
00:13:38,694 --> 00:13:40,153
You don't.

301
00:13:40,154 --> 00:13:42,656
Humans trick us into thinking
that we need 'em,

302
00:13:42,657 --> 00:13:44,741
but they're just
brainwashing us, man.

303
00:13:44,742 --> 00:13:47,786
Point is, you ain't got to deal
with that shit no more, okay?

304
00:13:47,787 --> 00:13:49,329
You a stray.

305
00:13:49,330 --> 00:13:51,414
- You can do anything you want now.
- I don't know.

306
00:13:51,415 --> 00:13:53,500
Come on! Repeat after me:

307
00:13:53,501 --> 00:13:55,919
I can do anything.

308
00:13:55,920 --> 00:13:58,672
I can do... anything?

309
00:13:58,673 --> 00:14:00,090
Damn fucking right you can.

310
00:14:00,091 --> 00:14:02,759
Now, you want to see
how fucked-up humans can be?

311
00:14:02,760 --> 00:14:04,220
Come on.

312
00:14:05,429 --> 00:14:09,266
Look at
these motherfuckers here.

313
00:14:09,267 --> 00:14:10,976
A bunch of pet dogs

314
00:14:10,977 --> 00:14:13,144
losing their minds over
their 15 minutes of freedom.

315
00:14:13,145 --> 00:14:17,733
God! If only our wolf ancestors
could see these pussies.

316
00:14:18,609 --> 00:14:20,610
Follow me.

317
00:14:20,611 --> 00:14:22,571
Now, why are these humans
so desperate to keep us?

318
00:14:22,572 --> 00:14:25,031
- Because they love us?
- No, no, I-I got a theory.

319
00:14:25,032 --> 00:14:27,409
- They need us for our poop.
- Huh?

320
00:14:27,410 --> 00:14:28,868
Watch that lady. Watch her.

321
00:14:28,869 --> 00:14:30,412
- See? See?
- Uh-huh.

322
00:14:30,413 --> 00:14:32,664
It's like they're
collecting it for something.

323
00:14:32,665 --> 00:14:34,249
What do you think
they're doing with it?

324
00:14:34,250 --> 00:14:35,917
- I think they're using it to make chocolate.
- Oh.

325
00:14:35,918 --> 00:14:37,711
- Have you ever had a piece of chocolate?
- No.

326
00:14:37,712 --> 00:14:40,046
Exactly. Come on. I'm gonna
introduce you to my homeys.

327
00:14:40,047 --> 00:14:42,424
I thought you said
these dogs were all losers.

328
00:14:42,425 --> 00:14:44,134
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
I say a lot of shit.

329
00:14:44,135 --> 00:14:46,052
- Hey, losers.
- Hey, Bug.

330
00:14:46,053 --> 00:14:48,638
Oh, if it isn't the tiny dog
who caught the car.

331
00:14:48,639 --> 00:14:49,973
I did catch that car.

332
00:14:49,974 --> 00:14:51,141
No, everyone knows
that's impossible.

333
00:14:51,142 --> 00:14:52,392
Yeah, it was parked.

334
00:14:52,393 --> 00:14:54,144
Yeah, it parked
after I caught it.

335
00:14:54,145 --> 00:14:55,979
- No, there was no one in the car.
- Yeah, no one in the car.

336
00:14:55,980 --> 00:14:58,064
Listen, I don't even have to
keep this conversation going.

337
00:14:58,065 --> 00:15:00,317
What I was trying to do, losers,

338
00:15:00,318 --> 00:15:02,819
was introduce you
to my new friend Reggie.

339
00:15:02,820 --> 00:15:04,112
He just got dumped.

340
00:15:04,113 --> 00:15:05,989
Aw. Sorry, mate.
Welcome to the club.

341
00:15:05,990 --> 00:15:07,782
Uh, sorry.
Was it at least mutual?

342
00:15:07,783 --> 00:15:09,075
Oh, no,
it-it's actually just a game.

343
00:15:09,076 --> 00:15:10,327
Reg, I want you to meet Hunter.

344
00:15:10,328 --> 00:15:11,578
He's a therapy dog

345
00:15:11,579 --> 00:15:13,580
who works in a home
for dying humans.

346
00:15:13,581 --> 00:15:15,999
Which sounds like an okay gig,

347
00:15:16,000 --> 00:15:17,751
except that he was trained
to be a police dog.

348
00:15:17,752 --> 00:15:20,170
You almost made it
to the police squad?

349
00:15:20,171 --> 00:15:21,671
That's awesome.

350
00:15:21,672 --> 00:15:23,423
Yeah, I-I guess it's awesome.

351
00:15:23,424 --> 00:15:25,342
Get the fuck out of my way,
cone boy!

352
00:15:25,343 --> 00:15:27,010
Oh, uh, sorry about that, Bubsy.

353
00:15:27,011 --> 00:15:29,095
Hunter, say something back, mate.

354
00:15:29,096 --> 00:15:30,930
Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah,
yeah, yeah. Um...

355
00:15:30,931 --> 00:15:34,351
Hey, Bubsy, you got
any fucking... weekend plans?

356
00:15:34,352 --> 00:15:36,394
- What? It still sounds friendly.
- You got him.

357
00:15:36,395 --> 00:15:37,771
Yeah. Raw-dogging your mom.

358
00:15:37,772 --> 00:15:40,690
Ah, right. Well,
I'm pretty sure she's dead,

359
00:15:40,691 --> 00:15:42,942
- but good luck anyway.
- Pussy!

360
00:15:42,943 --> 00:15:45,278
Love those
observations, Bubs. Take care.

361
00:15:45,279 --> 00:15:46,529
Hunter, get your weight up.

362
00:15:46,530 --> 00:15:47,614
Don't let him talk to you
like that.

363
00:15:47,615 --> 00:15:48,990
You're the biggest dog here.

364
00:15:48,991 --> 00:15:50,325
You should eat
his freaking face off,

365
00:15:50,326 --> 00:15:51,868
shit it out
and then eat it again.

366
00:15:51,869 --> 00:15:53,453
Bug, you know
I don't love confrontation.

367
00:15:53,454 --> 00:15:55,330
Yeah, don't let the big dick
fool you.

368
00:15:55,331 --> 00:15:56,790
He's just a gigantic pussy.

369
00:15:56,791 --> 00:15:58,541
Whoa.

370
00:15:58,542 --> 00:15:59,959
It is a great penis.

371
00:15:59,960 --> 00:16:01,836
Oh, thanks. You know,
I try to keep it clean,

372
00:16:01,837 --> 00:16:03,797
do my best to lick it
as much as possible.

373
00:16:03,798 --> 00:16:05,382
Yeah, the only thing thicker
than Hunter's dick

374
00:16:05,383 --> 00:16:07,217
is the sexual tension
between these two.

375
00:16:07,218 --> 00:16:09,344
- Oh, come on.
- Bug, no. What?

376
00:16:09,345 --> 00:16:11,388
- That's funny, though.
- Yeah, right. Imagine.

377
00:16:11,389 --> 00:16:13,807
"Thicker than Hunter's dick."

378
00:16:13,808 --> 00:16:15,225
- But no, no.
- No.

379
00:16:15,226 --> 00:16:18,144
Now, Maggie, on the other hand,
is one bad bitch.

380
00:16:18,145 --> 00:16:20,230
But sadly,
her owner Jenna thinks

381
00:16:20,231 --> 00:16:22,732
the badder bitch is
the puppy that replaced her.

382
00:16:22,733 --> 00:16:25,110
So, Bella looked at me like,
"I want a cupcake, too,"

383
00:16:25,111 --> 00:16:27,070
so I was like,
"I'm gonna get her a cupcake."

384
00:16:27,071 --> 00:16:29,447
- I am so here for that.
- Right?

385
00:16:29,448 --> 00:16:33,159
So, Jenna said, "Sit,"
which I did.

386
00:16:33,160 --> 00:16:34,577
But then I thought,

387
00:16:34,578 --> 00:16:36,329
"Wouldn't it be cute
if I acted all confused

388
00:16:36,330 --> 00:16:38,456
"and tilted my head like,
'Huh?'" -Oh, my God, stop.

389
00:16:38,457 --> 00:16:40,875
Man, sure got to suck
to compete with that.

390
00:16:40,876 --> 00:16:42,544
No, it's fine.

391
00:16:42,545 --> 00:16:44,671
Bella's young and cute and fun,
so of course Jenna loves her

392
00:16:44,672 --> 00:16:46,423
more than me right now,
and I get that.

393
00:16:46,424 --> 00:16:48,967
Cool. Anyways, I was thinking,
if you guys are free later...

394
00:16:48,968 --> 00:16:51,010
But what I really don't get
is why Jenna thinks

395
00:16:51,011 --> 00:16:52,971
it's so adorable when
she spins around in circles.

396
00:16:52,972 --> 00:16:54,556
Like, I could do that
in my sleep.

397
00:16:54,557 --> 00:16:56,099
But you know what?
It's totally fine. It's fine.

398
00:16:56,100 --> 00:16:57,642
- Mm, okay.
- You know what? It doesn't get to me

399
00:16:57,643 --> 00:16:58,810
so much anymore.

400
00:16:58,811 --> 00:17:00,145
I'm fine.
I'm not jealous or worried

401
00:17:00,146 --> 00:17:01,563
or angry or depressed
or confused

402
00:17:01,564 --> 00:17:03,148
or fuming or unhinged at all.

403
00:17:03,149 --> 00:17:04,691
Yeah, you seem totally fine.

404
00:17:04,692 --> 00:17:06,276
And now that Jenna's spending
so much time with Bella,

405
00:17:06,277 --> 00:17:08,153
it's given me a chance
to do a little self-care.

406
00:17:08,154 --> 00:17:09,738
Like, I've been going
into the digging.

407
00:17:09,739 --> 00:17:11,322
I really like the feeling
of the soil under my nails.

408
00:17:11,323 --> 00:17:12,866
I'm just, like,
out in the fresh air again.

409
00:17:12,867 --> 00:17:14,284
I'm just really connecting
to the land.

410
00:17:14,285 --> 00:17:15,869
No, I'm-I'm learning
I love digging.

411
00:17:15,870 --> 00:17:18,748
I love digging!
I love it! I love to dig!

412
00:17:21,500 --> 00:17:22,709
- What-what's happening?
- See, Reg?

413
00:17:22,710 --> 00:17:24,294
Aren't you happy
to be a stray now

414
00:17:24,295 --> 00:17:26,379
and not have to deal
with all that owner bullshit?

415
00:17:26,380 --> 00:17:28,673
Well, no, as I said,
I'm not a stray.

416
00:17:28,674 --> 00:17:31,050
- Doug and I are just playing a game.
- Mm-hmm.

417
00:17:31,051 --> 00:17:32,969
Look, why don't you come out
with us tonight?

418
00:17:32,970 --> 00:17:35,305
And you can learn
how beautiful it can be

419
00:17:35,306 --> 00:17:36,973
when you're off the leash.

420
00:17:36,974 --> 00:17:40,477
If I can't convince you
that being a stray is great,

421
00:17:40,478 --> 00:17:41,811
- scraps night will.
- Sure will.

422
00:17:41,812 --> 00:17:43,271
- Yeah.
- Well, thank you,

423
00:17:43,272 --> 00:17:45,315
but I really should be
getting back to Doug.

424
00:17:45,316 --> 00:17:46,649
What? Why?

425
00:17:46,650 --> 00:17:47,984
So I can make him happy.

426
00:17:47,985 --> 00:17:49,527
Isn't that a dog's purpose?

427
00:17:49,528 --> 00:17:51,946
Don't you ever say that again!

428
00:17:51,947 --> 00:17:54,240
- -Here we go.
- Reggie, your purpose

429
00:17:54,241 --> 00:17:58,077
is not to make some stupid
human families happy.

430
00:17:58,078 --> 00:18:01,372
It's not to make some single
loser feel more complete.

431
00:18:01,373 --> 00:18:03,583
Your purpose is to do...

432
00:18:03,584 --> 00:18:06,461
BUG, HUNTER and MAGGIE:
Whatever the fuck you want.

433
00:18:06,462 --> 00:18:08,046
And when you are a stray...

434
00:18:08,047 --> 00:18:09,923
BUG, HUNTER and MAGGIE:
There's a lot to fucking do.

435
00:18:09,924 --> 00:18:11,633
Why do I feel like
there's an echo in here?

436
00:18:11,634 --> 00:18:13,176
- 'Cause you've said this a million times.
- I know.

437
00:18:13,177 --> 00:18:14,928
- I love that spiel.
- No, it's fine.

438
00:18:14,929 --> 00:18:16,179
- It's fine.
- You write your own fucking speeches, okay?

439
00:18:16,180 --> 00:18:17,180
- Okay.
- Yeah.

440
00:18:17,181 --> 00:18:19,057
Now, what do you say, guys?

441
00:18:19,058 --> 00:18:21,142
- Another scraps night?
- Yes.

442
00:18:21,143 --> 00:18:23,686
All right, meet at
the pizza place at sundown,

443
00:18:23,687 --> 00:18:26,564
and we gonna fuck shit up.

444
00:18:26,565 --> 00:18:28,067
♪ Get wild... ♪

445
00:18:32,988 --> 00:18:34,697
So, what is scraps night?

446
00:18:34,698 --> 00:18:36,950
It's that one magnificent
night of the week

447
00:18:36,951 --> 00:18:38,493
where humans are
a lot more willing

448
00:18:38,494 --> 00:18:41,120
to give us food or drop it
accidentally or both.

449
00:18:41,121 --> 00:18:43,373
That stuff that
they're dropping is gold.

450
00:18:43,374 --> 00:18:46,000
Oh. I just feel like we're
gonna get in trouble, though.

451
00:18:46,001 --> 00:18:47,293
No, we're cleaning up.

452
00:18:47,294 --> 00:18:48,920
These fuckers love it
when we clean up.

453
00:18:48,921 --> 00:18:50,422
Wait for it.

454
00:18:51,924 --> 00:18:53,216
Wait for it.

455
00:18:53,217 --> 00:18:54,300
Drop the fucking pizza, bitch.

456
00:18:54,301 --> 00:18:55,552
That's the one!

457
00:18:55,553 --> 00:18:57,011
Let's do this!

458
00:18:57,012 --> 00:18:59,305
♪ I-I-I-I'm with all my dogs ♪

459
00:18:59,306 --> 00:19:01,057
♪ Finna fuck the city up ♪

460
00:19:01,058 --> 00:19:03,643
♪ Keep a pocket full, got these
bitches wanna hit me up ♪

461
00:19:03,644 --> 00:19:05,270
♪ Drinking by the pool ♪

462
00:19:05,271 --> 00:19:07,105
♪ Doing drugs,
is you lit or what? ♪

463
00:19:07,106 --> 00:19:08,314
♪ Making hell a noise... ♪

464
00:19:08,315 --> 00:19:10,608
This water is making me dizzy.

465
00:19:10,609 --> 00:19:13,695
Oh, it's about to get
real dizzy up in this bitch.

466
00:19:13,696 --> 00:19:15,071
Oh, I don't mind feeling dizzy.

467
00:19:15,072 --> 00:19:16,447
- Pace yourself, Reg.
- I like it.

468
00:19:16,448 --> 00:19:17,908
♪ Get wild ♪

469
00:19:22,454 --> 00:19:24,623
♪ Get wild ♪

470
00:19:27,042 --> 00:19:28,877
Chester, for the last time,

471
00:19:28,878 --> 00:19:30,461
there's no fucking fence there.

472
00:19:30,462 --> 00:19:31,963
Just come out with us.

473
00:19:31,964 --> 00:19:33,214
I can't.

474
00:19:33,215 --> 00:19:35,633
I'm telling you,
there is a magical fence there.

475
00:19:35,634 --> 00:19:37,343
You just can't see it.

476
00:19:37,344 --> 00:19:38,678
- Come on, Chester.
- Chester!

477
00:19:38,679 --> 00:19:40,597
BUG, HUNTER and MAGGIE:
Chester! Chester!

478
00:19:40,598 --> 00:19:44,602
Honestly, that is persuasive,
and I don't know why.

479
00:19:45,978 --> 00:19:48,104
Oh, I can't believe
I'm doing this.

480
00:19:48,105 --> 00:19:49,772
Stop being a pussy, and do this.

481
00:19:49,773 --> 00:19:50,773
Okay.

482
00:19:50,774 --> 00:19:51,983
Run!

483
00:19:51,984 --> 00:19:53,651
Chester!

484
00:19:53,652 --> 00:19:55,194
- Chester! Chester!
- Come on!

485
00:19:55,195 --> 00:19:56,780
You've got it, Chester!
You've got it!

486
00:20:00,075 --> 00:20:01,367
Goddamn!

487
00:20:01,368 --> 00:20:04,037
It's real!
The magic fence is real!

488
00:20:04,038 --> 00:20:06,873
♪ Big dog status,
big dog baggage ♪

489
00:20:06,874 --> 00:20:09,709
♪ Big dog, fuck it,
I got big dog habits ♪

490
00:20:09,710 --> 00:20:12,712
♪ See, I'm going hard
in the paint, doing damage ♪

491
00:20:12,713 --> 00:20:16,216
♪ Big dog tell me do it,
look like I'm average... ♪

492
00:20:17,051 --> 00:20:18,843
Oh, yeah. You gonna get it.

493
00:20:18,844 --> 00:20:20,219
Somebody been naughty.

494
00:20:20,220 --> 00:20:21,940
You a naughty owl.
You a little naughty owl.

495
00:20:23,140 --> 00:20:24,432
You're right, Bug.

496
00:20:24,433 --> 00:20:26,017
I like this humping.

497
00:20:26,018 --> 00:20:28,186
Bug, can I try your owl?

498
00:20:28,187 --> 00:20:30,813
I told you scraps night was
gonna be off the chain, baby.

499
00:20:30,814 --> 00:20:33,274
- I'm having a great time.
- Ain't this about a bitch.

500
00:20:33,275 --> 00:20:34,984
Look at this motherfucker
right here.

501
00:20:34,985 --> 00:20:36,611
What you want? Huh, homey?

502
00:20:36,612 --> 00:20:38,196
I'll rip
your motherfucking nuts off.

503
00:20:38,197 --> 00:20:39,906
- Come on, let's go.
- Pointy-eared motherfucker.

504
00:20:39,907 --> 00:20:41,282
Come on. It's not worth it.

505
00:20:41,283 --> 00:20:42,992
- There you go, Reg.
- I'm doing good?

506
00:20:42,993 --> 00:20:45,078
Give it to him.
Give it to that gnome, Reg.

507
00:20:45,079 --> 00:20:46,996
Tell that gnome
you're his daddy.

508
00:20:46,997 --> 00:20:48,998
Hey, gnome, I'm your father.

509
00:20:48,999 --> 00:20:50,625
- It's good to finally meet you.
- Uh, Reggie...

510
00:20:50,626 --> 00:20:52,293
Even under
these strange circumstances.

511
00:20:52,294 --> 00:20:53,628
- No, Reggie.
- Reggie!

512
00:20:53,629 --> 00:20:54,712
Oh, you can't get me.

513
00:20:54,713 --> 00:20:56,381
Aha, ah... I'm too fast for you.

514
00:20:56,382 --> 00:20:58,383
I'm too fast for you.
This motherfucker is keeping up.

515
00:20:58,384 --> 00:21:00,593
- Come on, let's go.
- Who your little bitch-ass friend

516
00:21:00,594 --> 00:21:02,136
with the motherfucking
home perm and shit?

517
00:21:02,137 --> 00:21:03,846
- What did you just say?
- There you go, Reg.

518
00:21:03,847 --> 00:21:05,348
- Don't you look at me like that.
- Get up in his ass.

519
00:21:05,349 --> 00:21:07,350
I would hate for this
to get violent.

520
00:21:07,351 --> 00:21:08,851
I didn't know I had a son.

521
00:21:08,852 --> 00:21:10,478
- And he's a gnome of all things.
- Oh, Reggie!

522
00:21:10,479 --> 00:21:12,522
- God, shut up!
- Does anyone want to hump my son?

523
00:21:12,523 --> 00:21:14,899
He's handsomely dressed
in a smart little tunic.

524
00:21:14,900 --> 00:21:17,694
Yo, Chester.
You got balls, baby.

525
00:21:17,695 --> 00:21:19,278
That magic fence was legit.

526
00:21:19,279 --> 00:21:20,822
I kept telling you!

527
00:21:20,823 --> 00:21:23,491
What a weird thing a magic
fence would be to make up.

528
00:21:23,492 --> 00:21:24,909
I can do anything.

529
00:21:24,910 --> 00:21:26,285
- Reggie, don't.
- Wait, wait.

530
00:21:26,286 --> 00:21:27,578
- What's going on?
- Reggie, no.

531
00:21:27,579 --> 00:21:29,122
- Don't do it.
- Reggie, no.

532
00:21:29,123 --> 00:21:31,207
I can do anything.

533
00:21:31,208 --> 00:21:34,085
Do not test the dark arts, kid.

534
00:21:34,086 --> 00:21:37,297
♪ ♪

535
00:21:44,763 --> 00:21:46,139
♪ Get wild. ♪

536
00:21:46,140 --> 00:21:47,598
Oh, shoot!

537
00:21:47,599 --> 00:21:49,058
- That was fucking amazing!
- Incredible!

538
00:21:49,059 --> 00:21:50,309
- Yeah!
- You did it!

539
00:21:50,310 --> 00:21:51,811
- That's impossible.
- Reggie!

540
00:21:51,812 --> 00:21:53,647
I did it! I did it!

541
00:21:54,815 --> 00:21:57,066
Oh, what a night.

542
00:21:57,067 --> 00:22:01,112
Reg, I could tell
the moment I sniffed your anus

543
00:22:01,113 --> 00:22:02,655
you're a great guy.

544
00:22:02,656 --> 00:22:04,490
- You're a legend.
- Yeah, baby.

545
00:22:04,491 --> 00:22:07,243
I told you strays life
is the best life.

546
00:22:07,244 --> 00:22:08,536
Yeah, you got to admit,

547
00:22:08,537 --> 00:22:10,413
it's fun to be off leash
for a bit, right?

548
00:22:10,414 --> 00:22:12,373
- Right?
- Yeah, well, it is kind of awesome

549
00:22:12,374 --> 00:22:14,000
not having to hold my pee
for ten hours

550
00:22:14,001 --> 00:22:16,502
until Doug lets me outside.

551
00:22:16,503 --> 00:22:18,296
And I like the sound of "legend"

552
00:22:18,297 --> 00:22:19,756
a lot more than "shit bag."

553
00:22:19,757 --> 00:22:21,257
Guys, I'm still peeing.

554
00:22:21,258 --> 00:22:23,426
Wait, is that really
what he called you?

555
00:22:23,427 --> 00:22:25,970
And I really don't miss
roasting in the car

556
00:22:25,971 --> 00:22:27,805
when he stops at a store
and he leaves me

557
00:22:27,806 --> 00:22:29,599
with the windows cracked
just barely enough

558
00:22:29,600 --> 00:22:31,476
- for me to stay conscious.
- Wait, what?

559
00:22:31,477 --> 00:22:33,561
And I'm just panting,
gasping for air

560
00:22:33,562 --> 00:22:37,607
and trying to survive until
he comes back in 45 minutes.

561
00:22:37,608 --> 00:22:40,235
Classic Doug. Too funny.

562
00:22:42,112 --> 00:22:46,199
So, this guy neglects you,
throws you on the street,

563
00:22:46,200 --> 00:22:48,409
and you still think
he's a good guy?

564
00:22:48,410 --> 00:22:50,745
Yeah. I mean,
if Doug doesn't like me,

565
00:22:50,746 --> 00:22:53,247
why does he let me eat
his leftover human food?

566
00:22:53,248 --> 00:22:55,500
So he doesn't have to buy
dog food.

567
00:22:55,501 --> 00:22:57,627
And why didn't he put
a collar and tags on you?

568
00:22:57,628 --> 00:23:00,546
Because he doesn't believe
in labels.

569
00:23:00,547 --> 00:23:01,631
Oh, come on, Reg.

570
00:23:01,632 --> 00:23:02,924
And the bandanna he gave me

571
00:23:02,925 --> 00:23:04,801
is way more special
than a collar

572
00:23:04,802 --> 00:23:07,470
'cause he used it
for his penis sneezes.

573
00:23:07,471 --> 00:23:08,554
- Ew.
- Ew.

574
00:23:08,555 --> 00:23:09,889
Doug loves me.

575
00:23:09,890 --> 00:23:11,682
We have a good relationship.

576
00:23:11,683 --> 00:23:13,810
You just don't understand
the situation,

577
00:23:13,811 --> 00:23:16,229
because if Doug's such a bad guy

578
00:23:16,230 --> 00:23:19,315
and he-he left me on purpose

579
00:23:19,316 --> 00:23:23,402
and he hurt me on purpose,
that would mean...

580
00:23:23,403 --> 00:23:25,738
that would mean...

581
00:23:25,739 --> 00:23:28,158
Doug doesn't love me.

582
00:23:31,954 --> 00:23:34,873
Can, uh, you guys
just give me a second?

583
00:23:37,084 --> 00:23:39,253
♪ ♪

584
00:23:41,964 --> 00:23:43,381
Oh, poor little guy.

585
00:23:43,382 --> 00:23:45,842
That is just
the classic toxic relationship.

586
00:23:45,843 --> 00:23:48,678
I should probably talk to him.
I am a therapy dog.

587
00:23:48,679 --> 00:23:50,263
Nah, give him some space.

588
00:23:50,264 --> 00:23:51,849
Kid's been through a lot.

589
00:23:52,766 --> 00:23:54,684
That's what
you fucking sound like,

590
00:23:54,685 --> 00:23:56,186
you piece of shit.

591
00:23:58,564 --> 00:24:00,398
Oh, get off! Get...

592
00:24:00,399 --> 00:24:02,817
Bad dog! Bad dog! Bad dog!

593
00:24:02,818 --> 00:24:05,529
Worst dog in the fucking world.

594
00:24:09,658 --> 00:24:12,578
♪ ♪

595
00:24:14,163 --> 00:24:15,788
Hey, Reggie.

596
00:24:15,789 --> 00:24:17,290
I know you're feeling hurt
right now

597
00:24:17,291 --> 00:24:19,375
and it's... ugh... must be so hard

598
00:24:19,376 --> 00:24:20,877
to figure out what to do...

599
00:24:20,878 --> 00:24:22,128
I'm going back to Doug's.

600
00:24:22,129 --> 00:24:23,546
- What?
- The fuck, man?

601
00:24:23,547 --> 00:24:25,214
What's it gonna take
for you to understand

602
00:24:25,215 --> 00:24:27,425
that he's not playing
a game with you?

603
00:24:27,426 --> 00:24:30,052
And I'm not playing a game
with him.

604
00:24:30,053 --> 00:24:31,596
Okay...

605
00:24:31,597 --> 00:24:34,765
All my life, I felt like
I wasn't worth anything

606
00:24:34,766 --> 00:24:38,394
unless I heard those words,
"Good boy,"

607
00:24:38,395 --> 00:24:40,354
but they never came.

608
00:24:40,355 --> 00:24:43,608
Well, he needs to know
he's hurt me.

609
00:24:43,609 --> 00:24:44,984
He needs to feel my pain.

610
00:24:44,985 --> 00:24:47,570
And he needs to pay
for what he did

611
00:24:47,571 --> 00:24:49,489
with the only thing
he truly loves.

612
00:24:50,240 --> 00:24:52,575
I'm gonna bite his dick off.

613
00:24:52,576 --> 00:24:54,410
- Oh.
- Wait, did he just say bite...

614
00:24:54,411 --> 00:24:55,995
Yeah, I-I'm still
a little drunk,

615
00:24:55,996 --> 00:24:58,164
but did I just hear you say
that you were gonna...

616
00:24:58,165 --> 00:25:01,125
I said I'm gonna bite
his dick off.

617
00:25:01,126 --> 00:25:04,170
- Oh, I'm 100% in for this.
- No, no, no, no, no.

618
00:25:04,171 --> 00:25:06,214
Bug. Wait, wait, wait.
Reggie, please.

619
00:25:06,215 --> 00:25:08,591
I feel you... I really do...
But this-this is insane.

620
00:25:08,592 --> 00:25:10,468
Yeah, like, maybe there's

621
00:25:10,469 --> 00:25:12,094
a metaphorical dick
you could bite off.

622
00:25:12,095 --> 00:25:13,763
Like-like-like you could
pretend my dick is his dick,

623
00:25:13,764 --> 00:25:15,514
and you could give it
a stern talking-to.

624
00:25:15,515 --> 00:25:18,059
No, his dick... no exceptions.

625
00:25:18,060 --> 00:25:20,102
Playing with that thing
was his favorite activity

626
00:25:20,103 --> 00:25:21,896
until he started
putting things in boxes.

627
00:25:21,897 --> 00:25:24,065
- Boxes?
- Oh, shit. That means he's moving soon.

628
00:25:24,066 --> 00:25:25,441
- Moving? Oh, God.
- Oh, man.

629
00:25:25,442 --> 00:25:26,859
- Wh-What if we're too late?
- Calm down.

630
00:25:26,860 --> 00:25:28,402
We definitely
don't have much time.

631
00:25:28,403 --> 00:25:30,363
Any places, smells,
landmarks you remember

632
00:25:30,364 --> 00:25:31,656
on the road to get here?

633
00:25:31,657 --> 00:25:33,950
Uh, I-I just...
I-I remember passing

634
00:25:33,951 --> 00:25:35,826
an enormous hamster wheel.

635
00:25:35,827 --> 00:25:37,828
- Okay, hamster wheel.
- Uh, uh, a giant cone

636
00:25:37,829 --> 00:25:39,372
that looked like Hunter's.

637
00:25:39,373 --> 00:25:40,873
Giant cone that looked
like Hunter's. Okay.

638
00:25:40,874 --> 00:25:42,833
And the...
and the devil in the sky.

639
00:25:42,834 --> 00:25:45,711
And the devil in the sky. Boom!
That's basically a road map

640
00:25:45,712 --> 00:25:47,964
right to this guy's
custard launcher.

641
00:25:47,965 --> 00:25:49,632
Bug, there's no way.
It's impossible.

642
00:25:49,633 --> 00:25:51,133
Nah. No, no, no, not quite.

643
00:25:51,134 --> 00:25:52,426
Reggie's got no shot

644
00:25:52,427 --> 00:25:54,095
of making it back in time
on his own,

645
00:25:54,096 --> 00:25:57,306
but if we all go,
I got the street smarts,

646
00:25:57,307 --> 00:25:59,100
you got the muscle,
and Maggie's got

647
00:25:59,101 --> 00:26:01,811
a sense of smell so good
she could sniff one asshole

648
00:26:01,812 --> 00:26:04,397
and tell you what the guy ate
three breakfasts ago.

649
00:26:04,398 --> 00:26:06,315
- Bunch of nickels.
- Exactly.

650
00:26:06,316 --> 00:26:07,316
She's incredible.

651
00:26:07,317 --> 00:26:09,318
Guys, we can do this.

652
00:26:09,319 --> 00:26:11,279
- No, there is no way...
- I'm in.

653
00:26:11,280 --> 00:26:12,571
I am missing this.

654
00:26:12,572 --> 00:26:13,864
Let's do it!

655
00:26:13,865 --> 00:26:16,492
Really? You guys would
do this for me?

656
00:26:16,493 --> 00:26:17,868
Hell yeah.
We got your back, Reg.

657
00:26:17,869 --> 00:26:19,370
- Yeah.
- All right, guys.

658
00:26:19,371 --> 00:26:22,248
Let's show these humans
they can't toss us aside

659
00:26:22,249 --> 00:26:24,917
without facing
some bad fucking consequences.

660
00:26:24,918 --> 00:26:26,210
Fellas.

661
00:26:26,211 --> 00:26:28,129
Lady.

662
00:26:28,130 --> 00:26:30,340
Let's go get some dick.

663
00:26:31,675 --> 00:26:33,342
Howling.

664
00:26:33,343 --> 00:26:36,095
Howl. Howling.

665
00:26:36,096 --> 00:26:38,765
I'm just not a great howler.

666
00:26:41,435 --> 00:26:44,312
♪ Yeah, word is bond ♪

667
00:26:44,313 --> 00:26:46,564
♪ Das EFX in this,
you know what I'm sayin'? ♪

668
00:26:46,565 --> 00:26:49,317
♪ Straight from the sewer,
word is bond, yeah ♪

669
00:26:49,318 --> 00:26:51,193
♪ Check yo' self
before you wreck yo' self ♪

670
00:26:51,194 --> 00:26:52,611
♪ 'Cause I'm bad
for your health ♪

671
00:26:52,612 --> 00:26:53,988
♪ I come real stealth ♪

672
00:26:53,989 --> 00:26:56,407
Fuck you! ♪ Dropping bombs on your moms,
fuck car alarms ♪

673
00:26:56,408 --> 00:26:58,617
♪ Doing foul crime, I'm that
broth a wit' yo' Alpine ♪

674
00:26:58,618 --> 00:27:01,120
♪ Sold it for a six-o,
always let tricks know ♪

675
00:27:01,121 --> 00:27:03,414
♪ And friends know
we got the indo ♪

676
00:27:03,415 --> 00:27:06,459
♪ No, I'm not a sucker
sitting in a House of Pain ♪

677
00:27:06,460 --> 00:27:08,461
♪ And no, I'm not the butler,
I'll cut ya ♪

678
00:27:08,462 --> 00:27:10,713
♪ This ain't
no fucking motion picture ♪

679
00:27:10,714 --> 00:27:13,466
♪ A guy or bitch-a,
I'll get wit' cha and hit ya ♪

680
00:27:13,467 --> 00:27:17,094
♪ Taking that yak to the neck,
so you better run a check ♪

681
00:27:17,095 --> 00:27:18,679
♪ So come on
and chickity-check yo' self ♪

682
00:27:18,680 --> 00:27:21,474
Fuck you! ♪ Before you wreck yo' self,
chickity-check yo' self ♪

683
00:27:21,475 --> 00:27:23,059
♪ Before you wreck yo' self,
boy ♪

684
00:27:23,060 --> 00:27:24,810
♪ Check yo' self
before you wreck yo' self ♪

685
00:27:24,811 --> 00:27:26,979
♪ 'Cause shotgun bullets
are bad for your health... ♪

686
00:27:26,980 --> 00:27:29,190
Howling.

687
00:27:29,191 --> 00:27:30,566
Howling.

688
00:27:30,567 --> 00:27:31,943
♪ Check it. ♪

689
00:27:34,404 --> 00:27:36,364
Why didn't nobody tell us
that dog journeys

690
00:27:36,365 --> 00:27:37,990
are so fucking exhausting?

691
00:27:37,991 --> 00:27:39,742
- Yeah.
- Oh, this is brutal.

692
00:27:39,743 --> 00:27:41,827
I was still drunk
when I agreed to do this.

693
00:27:41,828 --> 00:27:43,996
- Yeah, I'm hangry.
- Yeah, I'm starving.

694
00:27:43,997 --> 00:27:45,706
I just threw up over there,
so there might be

695
00:27:45,707 --> 00:27:47,833
- something in there if you want to give it a...
- Ooh.

696
00:27:47,834 --> 00:27:49,168
Okay.

697
00:27:49,169 --> 00:27:50,753
I bet that's some of the pizza
from last night.

698
00:27:50,754 --> 00:27:52,588
Oh, yeah,
lot-lots of good shit in there.

699
00:27:52,589 --> 00:27:53,964
Oh, there's those nickels.

700
00:27:53,965 --> 00:27:55,591
Guys, we-we got to keep moving.

701
00:27:55,592 --> 00:27:56,801
You can't miss this thing.

702
00:27:56,802 --> 00:27:58,469
It's like a giant hamster wheel

703
00:27:58,470 --> 00:28:01,097
but without the hamster
and it smells like hot dogs.

704
00:28:01,098 --> 00:28:02,932
Smells like hot dogs?

705
00:28:02,933 --> 00:28:05,393
This is her superpower.
She's unbelievable.

706
00:28:05,394 --> 00:28:07,186
- Look at that nose.
- You got something?

707
00:28:07,187 --> 00:28:08,646
Wait a minute.

708
00:28:08,647 --> 00:28:10,231
Wait, d-do you smell that?

709
00:28:10,232 --> 00:28:11,607
I just smell plastic.

710
00:28:11,608 --> 00:28:13,025
Oh, yeah. Oh.

711
00:28:13,026 --> 00:28:14,485
Yeah, I've got it.

712
00:28:14,486 --> 00:28:17,154
She's walking away.
Should we follow her?

713
00:28:17,155 --> 00:28:19,032
I'm gonna follow her.

714
00:28:19,991 --> 00:28:21,617
No, no, no, no, no.
A sausage is the one

715
00:28:21,618 --> 00:28:23,369
that looks like shit
but it don't taste like shit.

716
00:28:23,370 --> 00:28:25,079
Okay. What is a hot dog?

717
00:28:25,080 --> 00:28:26,455
Guys. Shh. Drop it. Look.

718
00:28:26,456 --> 00:28:27,915
- What the fuck is this?
- That's it.

719
00:28:27,916 --> 00:28:29,417
The giant hamster wheel.

720
00:28:29,418 --> 00:28:31,043
- We're on the right track.
- All right, guys.

721
00:28:31,044 --> 00:28:33,379
We're on a time crunch,
but Hunter's gonna die

722
00:28:33,380 --> 00:28:35,131
if we don't get some food
in him, okay?

723
00:28:35,132 --> 00:28:36,424
Maggie, you hang with Hunter.

724
00:28:36,425 --> 00:28:37,800
- Gotcha.
- Good plan.

725
00:28:37,801 --> 00:28:39,593
- Reg, you know what time it is?
- Uh...

726
00:28:39,594 --> 00:28:41,178
- It's grub time. Damn right.
- It's grub... yeah, grub time.

727
00:28:41,179 --> 00:28:43,431
- Let's get some grub.
- Let's get some grub.

728
00:28:43,432 --> 00:28:45,099
This fucking place is weird.

729
00:28:45,100 --> 00:28:46,600
So weird.

730
00:28:46,601 --> 00:28:48,060
I never really can
understand humans, man,

731
00:28:48,061 --> 00:28:49,687
especially, like,
the lighter-shade ones.

732
00:28:49,688 --> 00:28:51,355
They some strange motherfuckers.

733
00:28:51,356 --> 00:28:53,399
I was thinking the same thing.

734
00:28:53,400 --> 00:28:55,902
Hey.

735
00:28:57,612 --> 00:29:00,406
Um...
your dog messed up my shot.

736
00:29:00,407 --> 00:29:02,575
Uh, I think he's telling me

737
00:29:02,576 --> 00:29:04,410
I should pay for you
to take another one.

738
00:29:04,411 --> 00:29:06,120
Oh, is that right?

739
00:29:06,121 --> 00:29:07,580
Yeah, that's what...
that's what he was saying.

740
00:29:07,581 --> 00:29:09,498
I promise.

741
00:29:09,499 --> 00:29:10,916
I wouldn't...
I wouldn't make it up,

742
00:29:10,917 --> 00:29:12,626
but he's a good...
he's got good ideas.

743
00:29:12,627 --> 00:29:14,753
I could tell
James felt different

744
00:29:14,754 --> 00:29:16,422
about this human girl.

745
00:29:16,423 --> 00:29:19,091
Maybe it was because
she smelled like biscuits.

746
00:29:19,092 --> 00:29:20,676
Or maybe it was because

747
00:29:20,677 --> 00:29:22,386
something about her was special.

748
00:29:22,387 --> 00:29:25,599
Excuse me. Do you know where we
can get some food around here?

749
00:29:26,349 --> 00:29:28,350
As I was saying,

750
00:29:28,351 --> 00:29:30,936
James thought
he was helping this girl,

751
00:29:30,937 --> 00:29:34,190
but the truth is
she was helping him.

752
00:29:34,191 --> 00:29:35,441
Oh, fuck this bullshit.

753
00:29:35,442 --> 00:29:36,692
Wait, what is he doing?

754
00:29:36,693 --> 00:29:37,943
I've seen this shit before.

755
00:29:37,944 --> 00:29:39,778
He's one of those narrator dogs.

756
00:29:39,779 --> 00:29:42,781
Hey! No one's listening
to your lame human story,

757
00:29:42,782 --> 00:29:44,242
you fucking dumb-ass.

758
00:29:46,786 --> 00:29:49,788
Sadly, the little dog was right.

759
00:29:49,789 --> 00:29:52,500
No one was listening
to my story.

760
00:29:52,501 --> 00:29:55,085
Which is too bad
because I'm the only one

761
00:29:55,086 --> 00:29:58,255
who knows James is
a cold-blooded serial killer.

762
00:29:58,256 --> 00:30:01,926
He's got three bodies buried
in the backyard already,

763
00:30:01,927 --> 00:30:04,428
but I guess no one's interested.

764
00:30:04,429 --> 00:30:05,679
I can't believe that dog.

765
00:30:05,680 --> 00:30:07,139
He was so obsessed
with his owner

766
00:30:07,140 --> 00:30:08,390
he didn't even acknowledge us.

767
00:30:08,391 --> 00:30:09,892
I'm-a tell you, kid,

768
00:30:09,893 --> 00:30:11,352
the moment they leash you up,
snip your balls

769
00:30:11,353 --> 00:30:13,145
is the moment
they got you by 'em.

770
00:30:13,146 --> 00:30:15,689
Hold on. They snip your balls?

771
00:30:15,690 --> 00:30:17,066
- Oh, yeah.
- Ugh.

772
00:30:17,067 --> 00:30:18,442
And I think they're
collecting those, too,

773
00:30:18,443 --> 00:30:19,902
- to put in the chocolate.
- Come on!

774
00:30:19,903 --> 00:30:21,570
- Get your hot dogs here!
- Oh, shit. Look.

775
00:30:21,571 --> 00:30:23,572
- I got jumbo dogs!
- Okay, here's the plan.

776
00:30:23,573 --> 00:30:25,366
You grab the sausages,
and I'll go over there

777
00:30:25,367 --> 00:30:27,243
and fuck the guy's leg
as a distraction.

778
00:30:27,244 --> 00:30:28,827
And... break!

779
00:30:28,828 --> 00:30:32,206
Uh, I don't think fucking
the guy's leg is necessary,

780
00:30:32,207 --> 00:30:34,583
but I see you've
already started. All right.

781
00:30:34,584 --> 00:30:36,126
Ooh, gimme, gimme, gimme.

782
00:30:36,127 --> 00:30:38,379
- Bunny!
- You won!

783
00:30:38,380 --> 00:30:39,838
- I can't believe I won!
- Yeah!

784
00:30:39,839 --> 00:30:42,049
Oh, look at that toy bunny.

785
00:30:42,050 --> 00:30:43,968
You know, it hasn't even
been a day yet,

786
00:30:43,969 --> 00:30:45,636
but I really miss toys.

787
00:30:45,637 --> 00:30:47,263
Jenna had some good ones.

788
00:30:47,264 --> 00:30:48,889
I'd rip that shit apart

789
00:30:48,890 --> 00:30:51,100
until I found that squeaky toy
in the middle.

790
00:30:51,101 --> 00:30:52,768
Ugh, I miss squeaky toys, too.

791
00:30:52,769 --> 00:30:54,603
But, of course,
I only got to play

792
00:30:54,604 --> 00:30:56,564
with those squeak toys
if I was a good girl

793
00:30:56,565 --> 00:30:59,400
and I smiled the right way for
her stupid freaking selfies.

794
00:30:59,401 --> 00:31:02,403
The amount of work
that goes into looking cute.

795
00:31:02,404 --> 00:31:03,696
Honestly,
I had to go spin around

796
00:31:03,697 --> 00:31:05,155
in a perfect circle like this,

797
00:31:05,156 --> 00:31:06,740
move into a
"oh, I'm so fuckable" pose

798
00:31:06,741 --> 00:31:08,242
with my paws crossed,

799
00:31:08,243 --> 00:31:10,369
and then I'd have to
stand up straight, paws up.

800
00:31:10,370 --> 00:31:11,912
I have to show all my tits.

801
00:31:11,913 --> 00:31:14,790
Yeah, right, that...
Yeah, that's pretty fuckable.

802
00:31:14,791 --> 00:31:17,626
I mean, uh, that-that...
that's-that's weird.

803
00:31:17,627 --> 00:31:19,044
Wait, uh, there they are.

804
00:31:19,045 --> 00:31:22,131
You know, Maggie, there's, um...

805
00:31:22,132 --> 00:31:25,634
there's so much more to like
about you than just your looks.

806
00:31:25,635 --> 00:31:26,969
- You think so?
- Sure.

807
00:31:26,970 --> 00:31:29,221
I-I mean, you are hands down

808
00:31:29,222 --> 00:31:31,015
the best sniffer I've ever met.

809
00:31:31,016 --> 00:31:32,433
- Huh.
- But you're also smart

810
00:31:32,434 --> 00:31:33,684
and you can jump high

811
00:31:33,685 --> 00:31:36,145
and you know
like nine human words.

812
00:31:36,146 --> 00:31:37,438
That's insane.

813
00:31:37,439 --> 00:31:39,481
I actually know 31,
but thank you.

814
00:31:39,482 --> 00:31:41,984
Honestly, I-I'd have to list
about 20 more things

815
00:31:41,985 --> 00:31:44,069
before I even got
to anything to do with

816
00:31:44,070 --> 00:31:45,697
how beautiful you are.

817
00:31:47,741 --> 00:31:49,366
Um...

818
00:31:49,367 --> 00:31:50,951
I'm sorry, that was too much.

819
00:31:50,952 --> 00:31:54,079
No, that-that means a lot to me.

820
00:31:54,080 --> 00:31:56,874
You know,
you're a really good listener.

821
00:31:56,875 --> 00:31:58,292
Oh, that's because all the sound

822
00:31:58,293 --> 00:31:59,960
funnels through the cone
right to my ears.

823
00:31:59,961 --> 00:32:01,629
No, I didn't...

824
00:32:01,630 --> 00:32:03,672
- Never mind.
- Wait, wait. What?

825
00:32:03,673 --> 00:32:06,842
Have you ever thought about...
about taking the cone off

826
00:32:06,843 --> 00:32:09,928
for a little while
just to... just to see?

827
00:32:09,929 --> 00:32:11,388
No.

828
00:32:11,389 --> 00:32:13,766
I bet you'd look
really handsome.

829
00:32:13,767 --> 00:32:15,184
Really?

830
00:32:15,185 --> 00:32:16,769
Yeah.

831
00:32:16,770 --> 00:32:18,395
That's how you do it, Reg, baby.

832
00:32:18,396 --> 00:32:19,855
That was awesome!

833
00:32:19,856 --> 00:32:22,483
Oh, wait a minute.
Okay, what's this vibe?

834
00:32:22,484 --> 00:32:23,734
- Oh, no.
- Oh, nothing.

835
00:32:23,735 --> 00:32:25,027
- Yeah, what vibe?
- Nothing.

836
00:32:25,028 --> 00:32:26,445
- What vibe?
- There is no vibe.

837
00:32:26,446 --> 00:32:28,614
Your boner implies
that there's a vibe.

838
00:32:28,615 --> 00:32:31,617
Oh, uh, well, you know, that's
because our friendship...

839
00:32:31,618 --> 00:32:33,327
got me erect.

840
00:32:33,328 --> 00:32:34,953
Yeah, it was a friend boner.

841
00:32:34,954 --> 00:32:36,872
Then why don't you get boners
for us?

842
00:32:36,873 --> 00:32:39,291
I mean, uh,
are we not your friends?

843
00:32:39,292 --> 00:32:41,960
What? No, no, you guys
get me hard all the time.

844
00:32:41,961 --> 00:32:45,506
Hunter, that's about the
sweetest thing I've ever heard.

845
00:32:45,507 --> 00:32:48,258
Speaking of boners,
how about some sausages?

846
00:32:48,259 --> 00:32:49,760
We took 'em from a human.

847
00:32:49,761 --> 00:32:52,221
You stole these from a human?
What if someone saw?

848
00:32:52,222 --> 00:32:54,223
Relax.
Grow back some testicles.

849
00:32:54,224 --> 00:32:56,351
Ain't nobody saw.

850
00:32:58,603 --> 00:32:59,978
God saw!

851
00:32:59,979 --> 00:33:01,772
God sees everything!

852
00:33:01,773 --> 00:33:03,565
Run!

853
00:33:03,566 --> 00:33:05,693
- We're under attack!
- Save yourselves!

854
00:33:05,694 --> 00:33:07,152
We got to find cover!

855
00:33:07,153 --> 00:33:09,154
The whole fucking place
is gonna blow!

856
00:33:09,155 --> 00:33:10,864
Move! Move!

857
00:33:10,865 --> 00:33:12,366
Oh, God!

858
00:33:12,367 --> 00:33:14,451
We're all gonna die!

859
00:33:14,452 --> 00:33:15,994
Mama!

860
00:33:15,995 --> 00:33:17,706
Wow.

861
00:33:19,416 --> 00:33:21,041
- Duck!
- Stay low!

862
00:33:21,042 --> 00:33:23,836
- They got us surrounded!
- Go, go, go!

863
00:33:23,837 --> 00:33:25,045
- Run!
- They're coming after us!

864
00:33:25,046 --> 00:33:26,338
This way! Hurry!

865
00:33:26,339 --> 00:33:28,299
It's so loud inside the cone!

866
00:33:30,635 --> 00:33:31,969
- Oh, shit.
- No.

867
00:33:31,970 --> 00:33:33,595
- No, no, no, no, no, no!
- We got to get over.

868
00:33:33,596 --> 00:33:36,181
We got to dig. We got to dig!

869
00:33:36,182 --> 00:33:37,391
Dig. Dig faster.

870
00:33:37,392 --> 00:33:38,851
Hunter, Maggie, help us dig.

871
00:33:38,852 --> 00:33:41,103
- What? What's going on?
- Come on, Maggie, dig!

872
00:33:41,104 --> 00:33:43,105
- You said you love digging.
- I lied!

873
00:33:43,106 --> 00:33:45,983
- I hate digging!
- There we go.

874
00:33:45,984 --> 00:33:47,443
Okay, let's go.

875
00:33:47,444 --> 00:33:49,445
Oh, I hate how the dirt feels
under my nails!

876
00:33:49,446 --> 00:33:50,946
Wait, wait. Guys, I'm stuck!

877
00:33:50,947 --> 00:33:53,449
My bandanna's stuck!

878
00:33:53,450 --> 00:33:55,200
Aah!

879
00:33:55,201 --> 00:33:56,744
- Oh, no.
- Reggie!

880
00:33:56,745 --> 00:33:58,871
- Reggie, no!
- Reggie, come on, buddy.

881
00:33:58,872 --> 00:34:00,038
Maggie, Hunter, help me out.

882
00:34:00,039 --> 00:34:01,540
No, no, no, no.
Get out of here.

883
00:34:01,541 --> 00:34:02,750
It-It's too late for me.

884
00:34:02,751 --> 00:34:04,543
Listen to me.
It's not too late.

885
00:34:04,544 --> 00:34:06,211
No. Save yourself.

886
00:34:06,212 --> 00:34:09,506
And tell Doug I wanted
to bite his dick off.

887
00:34:09,507 --> 00:34:11,759
Bite it for me, if you can.

888
00:34:11,760 --> 00:34:13,969
Look at me. You're gonna live,

889
00:34:13,970 --> 00:34:17,639
and you're gonna bite
that dick yourself.

890
00:34:17,640 --> 00:34:19,267
Hunter, the fence!

891
00:34:21,436 --> 00:34:22,770
Check this out.

892
00:34:22,771 --> 00:34:24,938
Come on.

893
00:34:24,939 --> 00:34:27,358
Holy shit, they have a bomb!

894
00:34:28,276 --> 00:34:31,446
- Come on, Reggie.
- Come on.

895
00:34:34,407 --> 00:34:36,074
I'm almost free.
I'm almost free.

896
00:34:36,075 --> 00:34:37,242
- Come on, Reggie!
- Aah!

897
00:34:37,243 --> 00:34:38,787
Aah! Come on, let's go!

898
00:34:39,496 --> 00:34:41,163
Let's move, move, move, move!

899
00:34:41,164 --> 00:34:43,458
Come on, guys, let's go!

900
00:34:46,795 --> 00:34:49,296
Oh, well, uh...

901
00:34:49,297 --> 00:34:50,881
You guys want to kiss a little?

902
00:34:50,882 --> 00:34:54,218
Oh, my God! Holy shit.

903
00:34:54,219 --> 00:34:55,844
Guys, that was crazy.

904
00:34:55,845 --> 00:34:57,846
I feel like now I need
an emotional support dog.

905
00:34:57,847 --> 00:35:01,058
Bug, you looked like
you were gonna shit yourself.

906
00:35:01,059 --> 00:35:03,060
I did. I literally did that.

907
00:35:03,061 --> 00:35:04,686
- Oh, God.
- HUNTER: He did. I stepped in it.

908
00:35:04,687 --> 00:35:06,814
Reg, you okay?

909
00:35:06,815 --> 00:35:08,524
Uh, it's nothing. I-I...

910
00:35:08,525 --> 00:35:11,944
It's just, you guys
risked your life for me.

911
00:35:11,945 --> 00:35:13,612
Bug, you saved me.

912
00:35:13,613 --> 00:35:15,447
I never thought
anyone would do that.

913
00:35:15,448 --> 00:35:17,533
Of course we would. Come on.

914
00:35:17,534 --> 00:35:19,284
You're part of the pack, Reggie.

915
00:35:19,285 --> 00:35:21,119
- We stick together.
- That's right.

916
00:35:21,120 --> 00:35:22,996
I've never been part
of a pack before.

917
00:35:22,997 --> 00:35:24,206
Well, you are now.

918
00:35:24,207 --> 00:35:25,958
I didn't even know
that was a thing.

919
00:35:25,959 --> 00:35:27,751
We'll make it a thing.

920
00:35:27,752 --> 00:35:28,961
Yeah.

921
00:35:28,962 --> 00:35:31,797
So, I kind of have a weird idea.

922
00:35:31,798 --> 00:35:34,383
Could... could we maybe...

923
00:35:34,384 --> 00:35:36,677
pee on each other?

924
00:35:36,678 --> 00:35:37,554
Say what, now?

925
00:35:37,555 --> 00:35:39,054
Well, you said that

926
00:35:39,055 --> 00:35:40,973
when you pee on something
that it's yours.

927
00:35:40,974 --> 00:35:42,558
I just thought that,
since we're all,

928
00:35:42,559 --> 00:35:44,059
like, friends now, we could...

929
00:35:44,060 --> 00:35:47,396
Pee on each other
so we belong to each other?

930
00:35:47,397 --> 00:35:48,522
Yeah.

931
00:35:48,523 --> 00:35:50,399
That was a stupid idea.

932
00:35:50,400 --> 00:35:54,070
Jenna would be so mad if
I came home covered in urine.

933
00:35:54,946 --> 00:35:56,780
- Let's fucking do it.
- Oh, we're doing it.

934
00:35:56,781 --> 00:35:59,449
Okay. Why don't we, like,
do, like, a circle thing?

935
00:35:59,450 --> 00:36:01,326
- Yeah, and let's just lift our left leg.
- Starboard side.

936
00:36:01,327 --> 00:36:03,871
- Yeah, lift our left leg, and then we'll...
- There we go.

937
00:36:03,872 --> 00:36:06,249
- Oh, good, I get to pee on Bug.
- Yeah, that's good.

938
00:36:07,834 --> 00:36:09,042
Whoa.

939
00:36:09,043 --> 00:36:10,502
You know, this isn't just
warming my body.

940
00:36:10,503 --> 00:36:11,795
It's warming my heart.

941
00:36:11,796 --> 00:36:13,088
- Aw.
- Wow.

942
00:36:13,089 --> 00:36:14,965
I guess this makes us
family now.

943
00:36:14,966 --> 00:36:17,092
- Yeah, we're BFFs.
- Yeah.

944
00:36:17,093 --> 00:36:19,761
Even better. We're Pee-FFs.

945
00:36:19,762 --> 00:36:21,763
Pee-FFs! I love it.

946
00:36:21,764 --> 00:36:24,308
- Yeah. Love that.
- Oh, Bug!

947
00:36:24,309 --> 00:36:26,226
You look happy.

948
00:36:26,227 --> 00:36:27,769
What are you talking about,
I look happy?

949
00:36:27,770 --> 00:36:29,187
I'm just smiling
because we're all sitting here

950
00:36:29,188 --> 00:36:30,731
pissing on each other,
so I just...

951
00:36:30,732 --> 00:36:32,608
I cracked a smile.
It's not an emotional thing.

952
00:36:32,609 --> 00:36:34,318
- Nah, you love us.
- You love us!

953
00:36:34,319 --> 00:36:36,028
- Okay, that's it.
- HUNTER: Yeah, that's right. You do.

954
00:36:36,029 --> 00:36:37,696
- That's my cue to go to bed.
- Oh, come on, Bug.

955
00:36:37,697 --> 00:36:39,907
Look, listen, listen,
we got a lot of walking to do

956
00:36:39,908 --> 00:36:41,408
and not much time to do it.

957
00:36:41,409 --> 00:36:43,535
Let's get some sleep.

958
00:36:43,536 --> 00:36:45,622
H-H-Ho-Hold on one second.

959
00:36:48,958 --> 00:36:50,834
- Go back the other way.
- Better the other way.

960
00:36:50,835 --> 00:36:52,711
Try sniffing the ground. H-Have
you tried sniffing the ground?

961
00:36:52,712 --> 00:36:54,838
- Fucked that one up.
- You got to reset yourself.

962
00:36:54,839 --> 00:36:56,340
- Yeah, you go back 90 degrees.
- Fucked that one up, too.

963
00:36:56,341 --> 00:36:57,925
- You were so close.
- Now sit down.

964
00:36:57,926 --> 00:37:00,260
- That'll do. That'll do.
- All right, finally, good.

965
00:37:00,261 --> 00:37:03,138
- Time for bed. Yeah. Okay.
- Let's get some sleep.

966
00:37:03,139 --> 00:37:04,681
And a quick turn.

967
00:37:04,682 --> 00:37:06,516
- Time to go to sl...
- Wait. Hang on. -One turn.

968
00:37:06,517 --> 00:37:08,143
- Two turns. Three turns.
- Oh, God.

969
00:37:08,144 --> 00:37:09,519
Bug's really fucked
with my head. I don't know...

970
00:37:09,520 --> 00:37:11,271
- There.
- Five,

971
00:37:11,272 --> 00:37:13,106
- four, three, two, one.
- Again. Again. Okay.

972
00:37:13,107 --> 00:37:14,232
Okay, okay, now I'm ready.

973
00:37:14,233 --> 00:37:16,693
Easy.

974
00:37:16,694 --> 00:37:18,779
And... down.

975
00:37:18,780 --> 00:37:20,990
I'm getting much faster at that.

976
00:37:22,241 --> 00:37:23,742
- Good night, everyone.
- Good night, Reg.

977
00:37:23,743 --> 00:37:24,952
- Good night, Reggie.
- And, uh, thanks again

978
00:37:24,953 --> 00:37:26,453
for letting me pee on you guys.

979
00:37:26,454 --> 00:37:27,788
- Reggie?
- Yeah?

980
00:37:27,789 --> 00:37:29,122
Could you just stop
fucking talking, please?

981
00:37:29,123 --> 00:37:31,084
- Yeah. Yeah, yeah.
- Okay.

982
00:37:32,919 --> 00:37:35,088
♪ ♪

983
00:37:39,425 --> 00:37:41,677
Okay, guys. Big day today.

984
00:37:41,678 --> 00:37:43,428
Next up is the giant cone.

985
00:37:43,429 --> 00:37:45,806
I don't know what kind of
cone we're gonna find out here.

986
00:37:45,807 --> 00:37:48,266
It can't be too hard
to find. It's gigantic.

987
00:37:48,267 --> 00:37:50,143
All I see is trees,
but whatever.

988
00:37:50,144 --> 00:37:53,230
Hey, mate, have you thought
about how you're gonna do it?

989
00:37:53,231 --> 00:37:54,690
Uh, sorry. D-Do what?

990
00:37:54,691 --> 00:37:56,358
- Bite Doug's dick off.
- Oh.

991
00:37:56,359 --> 00:37:59,444
Were you thinking lengthwise
or tip-to-shaft?

992
00:37:59,445 --> 00:38:02,114
Gosh, I don't know. I-I've
never bitten off a dick before.

993
00:38:02,115 --> 00:38:04,783
I guess I'll let it
just come to me in the moment.

994
00:38:04,784 --> 00:38:07,285
So, at what point of this trip
are you gonna build up

995
00:38:07,286 --> 00:38:08,954
a little BDE
and make a move, huh?

996
00:38:08,955 --> 00:38:10,789
- With Maggie?
- Yes, Mag... No, with this mossy stump.

997
00:38:10,790 --> 00:38:12,749
What the fuck you think
I'm talking about?

998
00:38:12,750 --> 00:38:15,252
No way.
She wouldn't go for me.

999
00:38:15,253 --> 00:38:17,504
I mean, maybe a door opens up
down the road,

1000
00:38:17,505 --> 00:38:19,006
but for now we're just friends.

1001
00:38:19,007 --> 00:38:20,757
Wh-What are you talking about,
opening up doors?

1002
00:38:20,758 --> 00:38:22,050
We don't have thumbs.

1003
00:38:22,051 --> 00:38:24,011
You got to knock
the fucking door down.

1004
00:38:24,012 --> 00:38:25,721
Yeah, but who would want to date

1005
00:38:25,722 --> 00:38:28,557
a failed police dog
who wears a cone 24/7?

1006
00:38:28,558 --> 00:38:32,019
Oh, come on, dude.
Girls date losers all the time.

1007
00:38:32,020 --> 00:38:35,939
You know, Reggie, that you
don't have to do it, right?

1008
00:38:35,940 --> 00:38:38,233
What are you talking about?
Of course I do.

1009
00:38:38,234 --> 00:38:39,985
I'm gonna get
all over that dick.

1010
00:38:39,986 --> 00:38:41,486
Chomp, chomp, chomp. Mmm!

1011
00:38:41,487 --> 00:38:43,822
Yeah, but you could just,
you know, move on from Doug,

1012
00:38:43,823 --> 00:38:46,241
and then you wouldn't have to
do anything to him at all.

1013
00:38:46,242 --> 00:38:48,243
You could always just let it go.

1014
00:38:48,244 --> 00:38:49,995
I-I'm not...

1015
00:38:49,996 --> 00:38:52,372
No, I'm not just
gonna let it go.

1016
00:38:52,373 --> 00:38:53,707
All right, look,

1017
00:38:53,708 --> 00:38:55,333
you failed doggie school
'cause you was a wuss,

1018
00:38:55,334 --> 00:38:57,377
but there's nothing
we can do about your past.

1019
00:38:57,378 --> 00:39:00,881
We might, however, be able to
get that thing off your head.

1020
00:39:00,882 --> 00:39:03,050
- This? No, no, you can't.
- Sure, we can.

1021
00:39:03,051 --> 00:39:05,093
If we all pull together,
we could...

1022
00:39:05,094 --> 00:39:07,179
No, no, I mean, I-I need it.

1023
00:39:07,180 --> 00:39:09,347
I keep it on intentionally.

1024
00:39:09,348 --> 00:39:10,932
Wait, really? I just assumed

1025
00:39:10,933 --> 00:39:12,684
it was, like, you know,
a medical thing.

1026
00:39:12,685 --> 00:39:13,894
Oh, it is.

1027
00:39:13,895 --> 00:39:15,520
I-I'll do anything
to keep it on.

1028
00:39:15,521 --> 00:39:17,856
And most self-inflicted
injuries will do the trick.

1029
00:39:17,857 --> 00:39:20,275
You know, cat scratches,
ear infection from the toilet,

1030
00:39:20,276 --> 00:39:22,402
lick my testicles
for hours and hours

1031
00:39:22,403 --> 00:39:24,863
until the humans get concerned.

1032
00:39:24,864 --> 00:39:27,532
But it's worth it.
I get anxious sometimes,

1033
00:39:27,533 --> 00:39:30,202
and the cone helps me
block things out.

1034
00:39:30,203 --> 00:39:32,537
What are you guys talking about?

1035
00:39:32,538 --> 00:39:34,831
Oh, uh, nothing.
You know, same old, same old.

1036
00:39:34,832 --> 00:39:36,374
I'm telling him he's got to get

1037
00:39:36,375 --> 00:39:38,126
- that big dick energy.
- Bug.

1038
00:39:38,127 --> 00:39:40,003
Well, you got
the first part down.

1039
00:39:40,004 --> 00:39:42,130
Aw, thanks for complimenting
my penis, Maggie.

1040
00:39:42,131 --> 00:39:44,007
You know,
your vagina's huge, too.

1041
00:39:44,008 --> 00:39:47,178
- Seriously?
- Shit. Why did I say that?

1042
00:39:48,513 --> 00:39:50,305
Hey, Reg,
let me ask you something.

1043
00:39:50,306 --> 00:39:51,807
- Yeah?
- How sure are you

1044
00:39:51,808 --> 00:39:53,475
that the big cone is this way?

1045
00:39:53,476 --> 00:39:56,978
I don't know, on a scale
of sure to not sure,

1046
00:39:56,979 --> 00:39:58,773
pretty sure...

1047
00:40:00,566 --> 00:40:02,484
that I'm not really sure.
That I'm sure of.

1048
00:40:02,485 --> 00:40:04,569
- Holy shit. We're lost.
- Ah, great.

1049
00:40:04,570 --> 00:40:06,571
- I knew this would happen.
- Hey, calm down, Bug.

1050
00:40:06,572 --> 00:40:08,573
We'll figure it out.
This could be a lot worse.

1051
00:40:08,574 --> 00:40:10,325
Oh, really, Hunter?
I'm starving,

1052
00:40:10,326 --> 00:40:12,828
we're completely fucking lost,
and my little puppy paw pads

1053
00:40:12,829 --> 00:40:14,412
are really hurting right now,

1054
00:40:14,413 --> 00:40:16,833
so how exactly
could this get worse?

1055
00:40:17,667 --> 00:40:19,334
Huh? How could it?
Tell me, huh?

1056
00:40:19,335 --> 00:40:21,087
How could it get worse?

1057
00:40:21,921 --> 00:40:23,338
Oh, oh, oh!

1058
00:40:23,339 --> 00:40:25,090
- Bug!
- Why did I say it could get a lot worse?

1059
00:40:25,091 --> 00:40:26,842
Oh, shit! Oh, shit! Oh, please,
please, please don't drop me.

1060
00:40:26,843 --> 00:40:28,552
- Don't eat me. None of that!
- Bug!

1061
00:40:28,553 --> 00:40:30,011
That eagle has some good timing.

1062
00:40:30,012 --> 00:40:31,596
Bug! Hold on, buddy!

1063
00:40:31,597 --> 00:40:33,140
Reg, Reggie, guys, help me.

1064
00:40:33,141 --> 00:40:35,433
Ask him if he wouldn't mind
bringing you lower!

1065
00:40:35,434 --> 00:40:36,852
What?
What are you talking about?

1066
00:40:36,853 --> 00:40:38,562
- I don't speak bird.
- We're in a real pickle!

1067
00:40:38,563 --> 00:40:40,397
Help, help, help. Do something.
Somebody do something.

1068
00:40:40,398 --> 00:40:42,066
Oh! Oh, God!

1069
00:40:45,736 --> 00:40:46,612
Fuck!

1070
00:40:46,613 --> 00:40:49,114
Yes! No!
Shit, this is fucking crazy.

1071
00:40:49,115 --> 00:40:50,657
- We're going higher.
- Hold on, buddy.

1072
00:40:50,658 --> 00:40:52,284
Reggie! Bug!

1073
00:40:52,285 --> 00:40:55,412
Oh, wow, your balls look huge
from this angle.

1074
00:40:55,413 --> 00:40:58,374
Thank you, but holy fuck!

1075
00:40:59,584 --> 00:41:02,627
That is
a golden-cheeked warbler.

1076
00:41:02,628 --> 00:41:05,089
I've been missing that one.

1077
00:41:06,007 --> 00:41:07,758
Uh...

1078
00:41:11,721 --> 00:41:12,889
Check.

1079
00:41:20,730 --> 00:41:22,731
Holy shit.

1080
00:41:22,732 --> 00:41:26,402
That is the craziest thing
I have ever seen.

1081
00:41:27,486 --> 00:41:29,029
And I'm Dennis Quaid,

1082
00:41:29,030 --> 00:41:31,907
and Dennis Quaid
has seen some shit.

1083
00:41:31,908 --> 00:41:34,242
- Let me down, bitch!
- Bug, look! Over there!

1084
00:41:34,243 --> 00:41:35,994
- The giant cone!
- What?

1085
00:41:35,995 --> 00:41:38,455
- The giant cone!
- Oh, the cone.

1086
00:41:38,456 --> 00:41:39,915
Well, shit,
that would be great news

1087
00:41:39,916 --> 00:41:41,918
if we weren't stuck
to this fucking bird.

1088
00:41:43,085 --> 00:41:45,337
Bug, I got an idea. Hang on!

1089
00:41:45,338 --> 00:41:48,089
Reg, what are you doing?

1090
00:41:48,090 --> 00:41:50,425
Oh, God.

1091
00:41:50,426 --> 00:41:52,929
That's bold. It's too bold.

1092
00:41:54,597 --> 00:41:56,807
Here we go!

1093
00:41:59,936 --> 00:42:02,146
- Well, shit. Ow!
- Aah!

1094
00:42:02,605 --> 00:42:04,023
Fuck! Not again!

1095
00:42:06,108 --> 00:42:07,275
Reggie! Bug!

1096
00:42:07,276 --> 00:42:09,402
- Aah! Help!
- Aah! Branch!

1097
00:42:09,403 --> 00:42:11,697
- Shit! Fuck!
- Oh! Smaller branch!

1098
00:42:17,578 --> 00:42:19,704
Wow, they're hitting
a worst-case-scenario

1099
00:42:19,705 --> 00:42:21,706
amount of branches.

1100
00:42:21,707 --> 00:42:23,833
Paws, paws, paws, paws, paws!

1101
00:42:23,834 --> 00:42:25,211
Tail!

1102
00:42:27,380 --> 00:42:29,214
Oh, my God, I am so sorry.

1103
00:42:29,215 --> 00:42:31,424
I did not mean to barge in
like this.

1104
00:42:31,425 --> 00:42:32,676
What, are you guys wrestling?

1105
00:42:32,677 --> 00:42:34,302
Shit!

1106
00:42:34,303 --> 00:42:36,930
Bug!

1107
00:42:36,931 --> 00:42:39,140
- Reggie!
- You're alive!

1108
00:42:39,141 --> 00:42:41,059
Fuck, got a stick up my ass.

1109
00:42:41,060 --> 00:42:42,811
Well, Hunter was right.

1110
00:42:42,812 --> 00:42:44,729
That could've been worse.

1111
00:42:44,730 --> 00:42:46,356
Just get the fuck
out of the bush.

1112
00:42:46,357 --> 00:42:48,650
Reggie, you are
once again a legend.

1113
00:42:48,651 --> 00:42:49,901
Guys, that was epic.

1114
00:42:49,902 --> 00:42:51,987
Fucking leaves. Get off me.

1115
00:42:51,988 --> 00:42:53,363
Guys, you wouldn't believe it.

1116
00:42:53,364 --> 00:42:54,614
- We saw the giant cone.
- What?

1117
00:42:54,615 --> 00:42:55,657
Yeah, yeah, yeah,
we did, we did.

1118
00:42:55,658 --> 00:42:57,242
- Really?
- That's amazing.

1119
00:42:57,243 --> 00:42:58,451
Yeah, that means we're heading
in the right direction.

1120
00:42:58,452 --> 00:42:59,744
Yeah, a-and not to be cheesy,

1121
00:42:59,745 --> 00:43:01,413
but being up in the sky
like that

1122
00:43:01,414 --> 00:43:03,790
just moments from my death,

1123
00:43:03,791 --> 00:43:06,001
I-I learned something
about life.

1124
00:43:06,002 --> 00:43:07,085
- Wh-What's that?
- What?

1125
00:43:07,086 --> 00:43:09,004
Birds don't have genitals.

1126
00:43:09,005 --> 00:43:11,256
Well, then how do they...

1127
00:43:11,257 --> 00:43:12,465
I don't know.

1128
00:43:12,466 --> 00:43:15,051
Maybe they have
both parts inside.

1129
00:43:15,052 --> 00:43:17,012
So, if you were to say,
"Go fuck yourself,"

1130
00:43:17,013 --> 00:43:19,849
they could actually do it.

1131
00:43:20,891 --> 00:43:22,684
Um, okay, then.

1132
00:43:22,685 --> 00:43:25,354
So, hey, next up is
the devil in the sky.

1133
00:43:28,024 --> 00:43:29,316
Howling.

1134
00:43:29,317 --> 00:43:31,026
Come on, guys,
we're over halfway there.

1135
00:43:31,027 --> 00:43:33,445
Hey, my howl's getting
better. You guys hear that?

1136
00:43:33,446 --> 00:43:35,405
- Hey, man, uh...
- Yeah?

1137
00:43:35,406 --> 00:43:37,407
I really appreciate
what you did up there.

1138
00:43:37,408 --> 00:43:39,409
I mean, no need to pee
on each other

1139
00:43:39,410 --> 00:43:41,953
or anything like that,
but thanks.

1140
00:43:41,954 --> 00:43:44,539
Of course. We're Pee-FFs.

1141
00:43:44,540 --> 00:43:46,041
We stick together.

1142
00:43:46,042 --> 00:43:47,625
All right, all right,
all right. Enough.

1143
00:43:47,626 --> 00:43:49,170
Put your tongue
back in your mouth.

1144
00:43:53,382 --> 00:43:56,801
Okay, okay. Never have
I ever gone down on a girl dog.

1145
00:43:56,802 --> 00:43:58,053
Really? Seriously?

1146
00:43:58,054 --> 00:43:59,387
You guys lick your balls
all day.

1147
00:43:59,388 --> 00:44:01,056
Oh, no, no, no.
That's different.

1148
00:44:01,057 --> 00:44:02,807
- That's different.
- That's different.

1149
00:44:02,808 --> 00:44:04,351
- H-How is it different?
- It's way different.

1150
00:44:04,352 --> 00:44:05,894
- Yeah.
- Bones to biscuits.

1151
00:44:05,895 --> 00:44:07,354
I can't believe
that I'm the only one.

1152
00:44:07,355 --> 00:44:08,563
What, you went down on a...

1153
00:44:08,564 --> 00:44:10,148
I was experimenting.

1154
00:44:10,149 --> 00:44:11,566
- Come on, I was in my twos.
- Ah, yeah, yeah.

1155
00:44:11,567 --> 00:44:12,859
Oh, yeah, that's the twos.

1156
00:44:12,860 --> 00:44:14,319
Oh, like a Rumspringa.

1157
00:44:14,320 --> 00:44:15,945
♪ Living in this
big blue world... ♪

1158
00:44:15,946 --> 00:44:18,782
Okay, I got one.
Would you rather eat poop or...

1159
00:44:18,783 --> 00:44:20,116
BUG, HUNTER and MAGGIE:
Eat poop.

1160
00:44:20,117 --> 00:44:21,534
Definitely eat poop.

1161
00:44:21,535 --> 00:44:22,952
Okay.
But I didn't even get to...

1162
00:44:22,953 --> 00:44:24,246
It doesn't matter. I like poop.

1163
00:44:25,164 --> 00:44:27,374
So, question. When dogs
have sex from behind...

1164
00:44:27,375 --> 00:44:28,792
Okay, okay.

1165
00:44:28,793 --> 00:44:30,251
- What's the style?
- That's just called

1166
00:44:30,252 --> 00:44:31,711
- regular style.
- Regular style.

1167
00:44:31,712 --> 00:44:32,837
I mean, is there another style,

1168
00:44:32,838 --> 00:44:34,172
or do we only have one style?

1169
00:44:34,173 --> 00:44:35,423
I only know
one style of fucking,

1170
00:44:35,424 --> 00:44:36,674
and I've been doing it
my whole life.

1171
00:44:36,675 --> 00:44:38,259
Then what's human style?

1172
00:44:38,260 --> 00:44:39,761
In human style,
the boy pretends to be the dog

1173
00:44:39,762 --> 00:44:41,554
and the girl pretends
to be the couch.

1174
00:44:41,555 --> 00:44:42,806
It's very complicated.

1175
00:44:42,807 --> 00:44:44,516
Wow, that is complicated.

1176
00:44:44,517 --> 00:44:46,602
Every species is different.

1177
00:44:47,770 --> 00:44:49,938
♪ Two, four, six, eight,
who do we appreciate... ♪

1178
00:44:49,939 --> 00:44:51,356
All right, I've got a joke.

1179
00:44:51,357 --> 00:44:52,941
Knock, knock.

1180
00:44:52,942 --> 00:44:54,692
No, no, no.
You got to ask, "Who's there?"

1181
00:44:54,693 --> 00:44:56,736
Oh, oh, okay. Got it, got it.

1182
00:44:56,737 --> 00:44:58,446
Knock, knock.

1183
00:44:58,447 --> 00:45:00,865
Guys, stop! You won't even
let me get to the joke part.

1184
00:45:00,866 --> 00:45:02,700
Later, Maggie.
Somebody's at the door.

1185
00:45:02,701 --> 00:45:04,702
Nothing funny about
a stranger at the door.

1186
00:45:04,703 --> 00:45:07,580
Ugh, you guys
are fucking morons.

1187
00:45:07,581 --> 00:45:10,835
♪ I know I'll be A-O, A-OK... ♪

1188
00:45:14,004 --> 00:45:15,713
You guys got anything yet?

1189
00:45:15,714 --> 00:45:17,799
Nah. Man, and I'm starving.

1190
00:45:17,800 --> 00:45:19,259
Anything edible over there?

1191
00:45:19,260 --> 00:45:20,510
Like a buffalo chicken pizza?

1192
00:45:20,511 --> 00:45:21,886
Nah, just squirrel poops.

1193
00:45:21,887 --> 00:45:23,388
Ah, nah, I can't eat
no more of that shit.

1194
00:45:23,389 --> 00:45:24,806
You know what,
that goes right through me.

1195
00:45:24,807 --> 00:45:27,392
Hey, I think I got something.

1196
00:45:27,393 --> 00:45:29,270
What do you got?

1197
00:45:32,481 --> 00:45:34,649
- What are those?
- Kind of looks like food.

1198
00:45:34,650 --> 00:45:36,277
I-I don't... I don't know.

1199
00:45:37,236 --> 00:45:38,820
- Mmm.
- Oh, it's not too bad.

1200
00:45:38,821 --> 00:45:40,321
I'm down to clown.

1201
00:45:40,322 --> 00:45:41,990
Mmm. How many
of these should we eat?

1202
00:45:41,991 --> 00:45:43,575
- Mm, all of them?
- Yeah, that makes sense.

1203
00:45:43,576 --> 00:45:45,577
These are so good. Mmm.

1204
00:45:45,578 --> 00:45:46,786
Ooh, this one's spicy.

1205
00:45:46,787 --> 00:45:49,206
Kind of nutty, right?

1206
00:45:54,670 --> 00:45:56,796
All right.

1207
00:45:56,797 --> 00:45:58,590
That should hold us.

1208
00:45:58,591 --> 00:46:00,175
Solid dinner.

1209
00:46:00,176 --> 00:46:02,927
Mmm. All right,
let's get moving.

1210
00:46:02,928 --> 00:46:05,388
Oh, shit. Uh, give me a sec.

1211
00:46:05,389 --> 00:46:06,931
Whoa, whoa.

1212
00:46:06,932 --> 00:46:08,601
What the fuck?

1213
00:46:17,693 --> 00:46:19,944
Hunter, your cone.

1214
00:46:19,945 --> 00:46:23,239
Oh, yeah. Yeah, I know.
I should probably take it off.

1215
00:46:23,240 --> 00:46:25,241
No, no. It's growing.

1216
00:46:25,242 --> 00:46:26,701
Oh, my God.

1217
00:46:26,702 --> 00:46:28,244
Oh, my God.

1218
00:46:28,245 --> 00:46:30,288
- Bug.
- No.

1219
00:46:30,289 --> 00:46:31,956
Bug...

1220
00:46:31,957 --> 00:46:33,292
Can't be.

1221
00:46:35,294 --> 00:46:36,628
Dolores.

1222
00:46:36,629 --> 00:46:38,421
Hello, Bug.

1223
00:46:38,422 --> 00:46:39,714
What you doing out here?

1224
00:46:39,715 --> 00:46:40,882
We need to talk.

1225
00:46:40,883 --> 00:46:43,468
Wait, Maggie.
You look different.

1226
00:46:43,469 --> 00:46:44,636
Really?

1227
00:46:44,637 --> 00:46:46,888
Oh, shit.
You look different, too.

1228
00:46:46,889 --> 00:46:49,057
- How so?
- Um, you kind of...

1229
00:46:49,058 --> 00:46:52,227
Is it my human hands?

1230
00:46:52,228 --> 00:46:53,728
Hey, do you think
I could play piano now?

1231
00:46:53,729 --> 00:46:54,897
Definitely.

1232
00:46:59,818 --> 00:47:01,278
Doug?

1233
00:47:02,071 --> 00:47:03,446
Hey, Reggie.

1234
00:47:03,447 --> 00:47:04,906
Doug!

1235
00:47:04,907 --> 00:47:06,324
How's it going?

1236
00:47:06,325 --> 00:47:07,742
Not great.

1237
00:47:07,743 --> 00:47:09,494
Just giving it one last shave,

1238
00:47:09,495 --> 00:47:12,247
'cause word on the street is
you're planning to bite it off.

1239
00:47:12,248 --> 00:47:13,998
Oh, that was supposed to be
a surprise.

1240
00:47:13,999 --> 00:47:15,668
Who told you?

1241
00:47:16,502 --> 00:47:18,336
- Sorry, Daddy.
- Oh!

1242
00:47:18,337 --> 00:47:19,879
My son, the gnome.

1243
00:47:19,880 --> 00:47:21,589
- We're done, Bug.
- What?

1244
00:47:21,590 --> 00:47:23,759
- I'm seeing someone else now.
- Who?

1245
00:47:24,802 --> 00:47:26,094
You kidding me? Him?

1246
00:47:26,095 --> 00:47:27,805
Hey, go fuck yourself, man!

1247
00:47:28,514 --> 00:47:30,848
I actually can.
I have both parts!

1248
00:47:30,849 --> 00:47:32,100
Dolores, come back!

1249
00:47:32,101 --> 00:47:33,476
He yelled to the sky.

1250
00:47:33,477 --> 00:47:35,478
But what Bug didn't realize...

1251
00:47:35,479 --> 00:47:36,896
Oh, fuck you, narrator dog.

1252
00:47:36,897 --> 00:47:37,939
He said.

1253
00:47:37,940 --> 00:47:39,692
Stop saying, "He said."

1254
00:47:40,484 --> 00:47:42,026
He replied.

1255
00:47:42,027 --> 00:47:44,612
I always had such high hopes
for you, Reggie.

1256
00:47:44,613 --> 00:47:46,531
I just wanted you to be a...

1257
00:47:46,532 --> 00:47:48,909
good boy.

1258
00:47:49,910 --> 00:47:52,203
All I ever wanted
was to be a good boy.

1259
00:47:52,204 --> 00:47:53,622
Goodbye, Reggie.

1260
00:47:55,541 --> 00:47:57,417
Wait! Doug, come back!

1261
00:47:57,418 --> 00:47:59,043
Oh, whoa. What's that smell?

1262
00:47:59,044 --> 00:48:00,712
What? Wh-What?

1263
00:48:00,713 --> 00:48:02,755
It's coming from over here.

1264
00:48:02,756 --> 00:48:04,300
Hunter, are you seeing this?

1265
00:48:05,426 --> 00:48:06,968
Toys!

1266
00:48:06,969 --> 00:48:09,305
Guys, get in here.
Get over here.

1267
00:48:10,556 --> 00:48:12,640
Reg, Reg!
Pull this one with me.

1268
00:48:12,641 --> 00:48:14,350
- It's squishy!
- Oh, fluffy!

1269
00:48:14,351 --> 00:48:15,977
I can't feel my snout.

1270
00:48:15,978 --> 00:48:18,147
Oh, there's toys everywhere!

1271
00:48:19,481 --> 00:48:23,359
Oh, I don't want
this day to ever end.

1272
00:48:23,360 --> 00:48:25,529
Yeah. Me, neither.

1273
00:48:37,499 --> 00:48:39,542
Morning, guys.

1274
00:48:39,543 --> 00:48:40,710
Comfy?

1275
00:48:40,711 --> 00:48:42,629
Oh, shit.
I thought you were Dolores.

1276
00:48:42,630 --> 00:48:44,297
My bad. I got to go pee.

1277
00:48:44,298 --> 00:48:46,174
What's that by your feet,
Reggie?

1278
00:48:46,175 --> 00:48:47,467
My feet?

1279
00:48:47,468 --> 00:48:48,843
What are you talking about?
What is that?

1280
00:48:48,844 --> 00:48:49,886
Yeah, what is that?

1281
00:48:49,887 --> 00:48:51,847
Oh, my God. That's an ear.

1282
00:48:52,556 --> 00:48:54,932
- An ear?
- Holy fucking shit.

1283
00:48:54,933 --> 00:48:57,352
They were toys. Guys,
where are the goddamn toys?

1284
00:48:57,353 --> 00:48:59,854
This is not real.
This is not real.

1285
00:48:59,855 --> 00:49:01,064
Th-This is real.

1286
00:49:01,065 --> 00:49:02,857
This is real. Oh, my God!

1287
00:49:02,858 --> 00:49:04,192
We killed 'em!

1288
00:49:04,193 --> 00:49:05,526
I'm gonna barf.

1289
00:49:05,527 --> 00:49:07,570
Oh, God.
There's fur in the barf.

1290
00:49:07,571 --> 00:49:09,781
We're fucking murderers!
Oh, my God, now I'm gonna barf.

1291
00:49:09,782 --> 00:49:11,699
Holy fuck. Holy fuck.
This can't be happening.

1292
00:49:11,700 --> 00:49:13,117
Hang in there. Stay with me.

1293
00:49:13,118 --> 00:49:14,327
I-I'll fix you.

1294
00:49:14,328 --> 00:49:15,828
Bug, what are you doing?

1295
00:49:15,829 --> 00:49:17,330
What it look like I'm doing?

1296
00:49:17,331 --> 00:49:19,375
I'm getting rid of
the evidence. Nobody can know!

1297
00:49:27,758 --> 00:49:32,345
Um, we are gathered here today
to say goodbye to the bunnies.

1298
00:49:32,346 --> 00:49:34,555
Honestly, what we did
was an accident.

1299
00:49:34,556 --> 00:49:36,265
- Absolutely.
- Mm-hmm. -Right.

1300
00:49:36,266 --> 00:49:38,893
And I know that if we weren't
confused from the food we ate

1301
00:49:38,894 --> 00:49:41,854
we would have never mauled you,
tore all your limbs off

1302
00:49:41,855 --> 00:49:45,274
and shook your corpses around
while giggling gleefully...

1303
00:49:45,275 --> 00:49:46,651
by accident.

1304
00:49:46,652 --> 00:49:48,403
So, bless you, bunnies.

1305
00:49:48,404 --> 00:49:49,487
- Yes. Sorry.
- Bless you.

1306
00:49:49,488 --> 00:49:50,780
- So sorry.
- Sorry.

1307
00:49:50,781 --> 00:49:52,323
- Amen.
- All right, that's it.

1308
00:49:52,324 --> 00:49:53,700
Never speak of this again.

1309
00:49:53,701 --> 00:49:55,368
Not one word, you hear me?

1310
00:49:55,369 --> 00:49:56,994
Not one fucking word.

1311
00:49:56,995 --> 00:49:59,247
- Not one word about what?
- Oh, shit. The cops.

1312
00:49:59,248 --> 00:50:00,790
"Oh, shit" is right, motherfucker.

1313
00:50:00,791 --> 00:50:03,084
Wait, wh-what did we do?
We're innocent. I promise.

1314
00:50:03,085 --> 00:50:04,502
- Sit!
- I am.

1315
00:50:04,503 --> 00:50:06,713
On the ground. Lay down,
paws where I can see 'em.

1316
00:50:06,714 --> 00:50:08,506
- We are laying down.
- Search these bitches.

1317
00:50:08,507 --> 00:50:09,924
They're hiding something.

1318
00:50:09,925 --> 00:50:11,676
- Oh, God. What do we do?
- Calm down. I got this.

1319
00:50:11,677 --> 00:50:13,594
I'm-a speak
with my white dog voice.

1320
00:50:13,595 --> 00:50:15,096
Hello, Officer.

1321
00:50:15,097 --> 00:50:16,639
None of us have ever killed

1322
00:50:16,640 --> 00:50:18,558
- a bunny in our lives.
- MAGGIE, REGGIE, HUNTER: Bug!

1323
00:50:18,559 --> 00:50:20,184
What?
Everybody, shut the fuck up.

1324
00:50:20,185 --> 00:50:22,770
We're looking for a lost
Girl Scout, Riley Anderson,

1325
00:50:22,771 --> 00:50:24,439
age eight in human years.

1326
00:50:24,440 --> 00:50:26,482
Wandered away from her campsite
two days ago.

1327
00:50:26,483 --> 00:50:28,609
Thought you dogs might have
some contact with her.

1328
00:50:28,610 --> 00:50:30,194
I've got nothing, sir.

1329
00:50:30,195 --> 00:50:31,946
But it smells like you haven't.
Let's move out.

1330
00:50:31,947 --> 00:50:33,531
Wait, wait. I could help.

1331
00:50:33,532 --> 00:50:35,700
I'm sorry, I don't really want
to be that bitch,

1332
00:50:35,701 --> 00:50:37,785
but I'm actually really good
at sniffing,

1333
00:50:37,786 --> 00:50:40,621
and I'd be happy to assist
in finding this lost girl.

1334
00:50:40,622 --> 00:50:44,208
Adorable. Yeah, no, thanks,
Australian shep-turd.

1335
00:50:44,209 --> 00:50:45,918
Excuse me,
but you really shouldn't

1336
00:50:45,919 --> 00:50:47,295
talk to her like that.

1337
00:50:47,296 --> 00:50:49,505
And what the fuck
are you gonna do about it?

1338
00:50:49,506 --> 00:50:51,174
I-I will do nothing
the fuck about it.

1339
00:50:51,175 --> 00:50:52,842
I am sitting down now.

1340
00:50:52,843 --> 00:50:54,051
Oh, Hunter.

1341
00:50:54,052 --> 00:50:55,344
Hunter?

1342
00:50:55,345 --> 00:50:57,138
Rolf?

1343
00:50:57,139 --> 00:50:59,932
Holy mother-flipping shit!

1344
00:50:59,933 --> 00:51:01,642
I didn't recognize you
with the cone.

1345
00:51:01,643 --> 00:51:03,394
Yeah, yeah, I got a cone now.

1346
00:51:03,395 --> 00:51:04,645
Bring it in, bro.

1347
00:51:04,646 --> 00:51:06,022
- Buddy!
- Give us some.

1348
00:51:06,023 --> 00:51:07,523
God, hey, well,
I should've known,

1349
00:51:07,524 --> 00:51:09,150
'cause your butthole smells
exactly the same.

1350
00:51:09,151 --> 00:51:11,068
You know, I'll never
forget this butthole.

1351
00:51:11,069 --> 00:51:12,236
- The fuck?
- You know this guy?

1352
00:51:12,237 --> 00:51:13,654
You kidding me?

1353
00:51:13,655 --> 00:51:15,740
This fucker and I went
to the academy together.

1354
00:51:15,741 --> 00:51:18,201
Everything I know, I learned
from this son of a bitch.

1355
00:51:18,202 --> 00:51:20,036
Technically, we're all
sons of bitches, sir.

1356
00:51:20,037 --> 00:51:21,162
Shut up.

1357
00:51:21,163 --> 00:51:22,872
Hey, so where'd you
end up, brother?

1358
00:51:22,873 --> 00:51:24,791
Drug sniffing, bomb detection?
What are we talking about?

1359
00:51:24,792 --> 00:51:28,044
Oh, um, well, I take care
of dying humans.

1360
00:51:28,045 --> 00:51:31,172
Oh. Well, I mean, that's not
the end of the world, I guess.

1361
00:51:31,173 --> 00:51:33,090
Well, for them it is.

1362
00:51:33,091 --> 00:51:34,675
Well, hey, guys.

1363
00:51:34,676 --> 00:51:36,302
You found some strays, Rolf?

1364
00:51:36,303 --> 00:51:38,346
Huh? Good job.

1365
00:51:38,347 --> 00:51:40,014
So, what are you fuckers doing
out here, huh?

1366
00:51:40,015 --> 00:51:42,183
Oh, uh, well, it's a long story.

1367
00:51:42,184 --> 00:51:43,351
We're gonna bite
a guy's dick off.

1368
00:51:43,352 --> 00:51:44,727
It's actually a short story.

1369
00:51:44,728 --> 00:51:46,145
Nice.
Man, when I joined the force,

1370
00:51:46,146 --> 00:51:47,772
you could bite dicks
left and right.

1371
00:51:47,773 --> 00:51:49,440
Nowadays, I chomp a dick,

1372
00:51:49,441 --> 00:51:51,317
I got to fill out
two weeks of paperwork.

1373
00:51:51,318 --> 00:51:54,445
Can I get an AC unit
down to Old Forest Road 54?

1374
00:51:54,446 --> 00:51:56,197
We're trying to get
to the devil in the sky.

1375
00:51:56,198 --> 00:51:57,281
Does that sound familiar?

1376
00:51:57,282 --> 00:51:59,116
Devil in the sky? Yeah.

1377
00:51:59,117 --> 00:52:00,785
You stick with us,
we'll show you the way.

1378
00:52:00,786 --> 00:52:03,247
- Wow. Really?
- Sure thing, rat boy.

1379
00:52:04,122 --> 00:52:06,040
Let's not wait so long
next time, huh?

1380
00:52:06,041 --> 00:52:07,375
What's it been, seven years?

1381
00:52:07,376 --> 00:52:08,876
I think just one, but every year

1382
00:52:08,877 --> 00:52:10,461
feels like seven to us,
so that makes sense.

1383
00:52:10,462 --> 00:52:12,046
Okay, listen. We got to get
our story straight.

1384
00:52:12,047 --> 00:52:13,297
- Uh-huh.
- It was a possum

1385
00:52:13,298 --> 00:52:14,590
who killed all the bunnies,
got it?

1386
00:52:14,591 --> 00:52:15,883
Wait, what's the possum's name?

1387
00:52:15,884 --> 00:52:17,218
Uh, Greg.

1388
00:52:17,219 --> 00:52:19,595
That's not a believable name
for a possum.

1389
00:52:19,596 --> 00:52:21,055
Ooh, can it be Monty?

1390
00:52:21,056 --> 00:52:23,432
- Hey, Cath.
- Steve. Thanks for coming over.

1391
00:52:23,433 --> 00:52:25,601
Hey, little guy. Want a treat?

1392
00:52:25,602 --> 00:52:27,144
Treats! I love treats!

1393
00:52:27,145 --> 00:52:29,981
Oh, my goodness.
Does somebody want a treat?

1394
00:52:29,982 --> 00:52:31,816
This one's all for you.
I got tons of treats.

1395
00:52:31,817 --> 00:52:33,234
Reggie, it's a trap!

1396
00:52:33,235 --> 00:52:34,986
Hey!

1397
00:52:34,987 --> 00:52:37,822
Hey, hey! Those bunnies
were dead when we found 'em!

1398
00:52:37,823 --> 00:52:40,074
It was a possum named,
uh, Greg or-or...

1399
00:52:40,075 --> 00:52:42,076
Monty!
His name was Monty, not Greg!

1400
00:52:42,077 --> 00:52:44,370
No choice. They threatened us!

1401
00:52:44,371 --> 00:52:46,497
But, Rolf,
I thought we were pals.

1402
00:52:46,498 --> 00:52:47,999
Sorry, old friend.
The law's the law.

1403
00:52:48,000 --> 00:52:49,375
You know how it is.

1404
00:52:49,376 --> 00:52:51,502
What a sadistic fuck.

1405
00:52:51,503 --> 00:52:53,921
Hey, calm down, sweetie pie.
You'll all be fine.

1406
00:52:53,922 --> 00:52:55,716
You got tags,
they'll send you home.

1407
00:52:58,719 --> 00:53:00,595
- Whoa, fresh meat.
- Hey, big boy.

1408
00:53:00,596 --> 00:53:03,389
- I like the mouth on that one.
- Mm, we gonna cuddle real hard!

1409
00:53:03,390 --> 00:53:05,683
Hey, bitch. Hey, little bitch.-

1410
00:53:05,684 --> 00:53:07,935
Guys, we got to get out of here.

1411
00:53:07,936 --> 00:53:09,437
We're running out of time.

1412
00:53:09,438 --> 00:53:11,188
- Where even are we?
- Nowhere good.

1413
00:53:11,189 --> 00:53:13,274
No, no, no, no, no.
I can't be here.

1414
00:53:13,275 --> 00:53:14,442
I can't. Not this again.

1415
00:53:14,443 --> 00:53:16,027
Come on, mate. We'll be fine.

1416
00:53:16,028 --> 00:53:17,862
Yeah, Rolf told us
they'll just send us home.

1417
00:53:17,863 --> 00:53:19,447
- It'll be all right.
- They only send you home

1418
00:53:19,448 --> 00:53:21,157
if you got a home to go back to.

1419
00:53:21,158 --> 00:53:22,742
And do you know
what these people do

1420
00:53:22,743 --> 00:53:24,952
to dogs that don't have one,
Hunter? Huh?

1421
00:53:24,953 --> 00:53:27,788
Do you have any idea
what they're about to do to me?

1422
00:53:27,789 --> 00:53:29,206
What they're about to do to Reg?

1423
00:53:29,207 --> 00:53:30,666
Calm down, Bug.
We'll figure this out.

1424
00:53:30,667 --> 00:53:32,209
There ain't nothing
to figure out, Maggie.

1425
00:53:32,210 --> 00:53:34,128
These humans caught us,
and now we are fucked!

1426
00:53:34,129 --> 00:53:35,588
Bug, you don't know that.

1427
00:53:35,589 --> 00:53:36,881
Yeah. Uh, I mean, Bug,

1428
00:53:36,882 --> 00:53:38,883
you say you know
so much about humans,

1429
00:53:38,884 --> 00:53:40,343
but you don't really know them, either.

1430
00:53:40,344 --> 00:53:42,011
I mean, you've never
had an owner.

1431
00:53:42,012 --> 00:53:43,179
You never had a Jenna.

1432
00:53:43,180 --> 00:53:44,472
You never had a Doug.

1433
00:53:44,473 --> 00:53:45,473
I had an Emma.

1434
00:53:45,474 --> 00:53:46,974
What?

1435
00:53:46,975 --> 00:53:48,434
Whoa, Bug.

1436
00:53:48,435 --> 00:53:49,810
You had an owner?

1437
00:53:49,811 --> 00:53:51,437
Yeah.

1438
00:53:51,438 --> 00:53:56,609
And I told myself that I would
never say her name again,

1439
00:53:56,610 --> 00:53:59,070
but y'all need to hear this.

1440
00:53:59,071 --> 00:54:00,363
- No.
- No? Okay.

1441
00:54:00,364 --> 00:54:02,073
I don't remember everything,

1442
00:54:02,074 --> 00:54:04,241
but I remember the day
she got me out of there.

1443
00:54:04,242 --> 00:54:06,410
This one.

1444
00:54:06,411 --> 00:54:07,912
He's a cute little bugger.

1445
00:54:07,913 --> 00:54:09,622
Cute little bug.

1446
00:54:09,623 --> 00:54:11,582
♪ When we were on top... ♪

1447
00:54:11,583 --> 00:54:13,793
We did everything together.

1448
00:54:13,794 --> 00:54:15,002
We played all day,

1449
00:54:15,003 --> 00:54:17,421
and no matter how stupid
I acted,

1450
00:54:17,422 --> 00:54:19,340
she always laughed.

1451
00:54:19,341 --> 00:54:20,675
Trick or treat.

1452
00:54:20,676 --> 00:54:22,385
We even did this thing I hated

1453
00:54:22,386 --> 00:54:24,679
where she would dress us up
in super weird clothes

1454
00:54:24,680 --> 00:54:27,348
and ask the neighbors
to give us that chocolate

1455
00:54:27,349 --> 00:54:29,685
- humans make from dog poop.
- Oh, oh, not for you, honey.

1456
00:54:31,061 --> 00:54:32,853
It's okay. It's just a storm.

1457
00:54:32,854 --> 00:54:35,022
But even better
than all the fun we had

1458
00:54:35,023 --> 00:54:36,857
is, uh, the way
she made me feel.

1459
00:54:36,858 --> 00:54:38,484
I love you.

1460
00:54:38,485 --> 00:54:41,821
When she said that,
I felt so special.

1461
00:54:41,822 --> 00:54:43,280
And then it was usually
followed by

1462
00:54:43,281 --> 00:54:45,658
these incredible
belly scratches.

1463
00:54:45,659 --> 00:54:47,576
No one ever made my leg
kick like that.

1464
00:54:47,577 --> 00:54:49,787
Except for this one night
with this raccoon

1465
00:54:49,788 --> 00:54:52,624
I don't like to talk about,
but, uh... anyway.

1466
00:54:53,417 --> 00:54:56,795
But then I made a mistake.

1467
00:54:59,006 --> 00:55:00,966
It was a blur.

1468
00:55:01,883 --> 00:55:05,052
I didn't even know what I did
until it was too late.

1469
00:55:05,053 --> 00:55:07,305
Say goodbye to Bug.

1470
00:55:13,937 --> 00:55:17,064
I thought I was getting
put in time-out or something,

1471
00:55:17,065 --> 00:55:20,569
but... but the place
she sent me to...

1472
00:55:22,029 --> 00:55:24,448
the time-outs there never end.

1473
00:55:25,282 --> 00:55:27,117
Whoa!

1474
00:55:31,788 --> 00:55:33,914
I never saw her again.

1475
00:55:33,915 --> 00:55:37,334
After all we had been through...
Everything she made me feel,

1476
00:55:37,335 --> 00:55:41,172
everything I thought
I made her feel...

1477
00:55:41,173 --> 00:55:42,798
Just nothing.

1478
00:55:42,799 --> 00:55:44,425
We did so much together.

1479
00:55:44,426 --> 00:55:46,761
She taught me so many tricks.

1480
00:55:46,762 --> 00:55:51,600
But the one trick she never
wanted me to learn was: Stay.

1481
00:55:53,018 --> 00:55:54,560
I think I zoned out
around the middle part.

1482
00:55:54,561 --> 00:55:56,145
Can you tell
the middle part again?

1483
00:55:56,146 --> 00:55:58,439
Hunter, I'm not gonna
tell the middle part again.

1484
00:55:58,440 --> 00:56:00,232
I'm sorry, Bug. I had no idea.

1485
00:56:00,233 --> 00:56:02,359
Don't be sorry, Reg.
Be thankful.

1486
00:56:02,360 --> 00:56:04,445
'Cause you got a chance
to make this right.

1487
00:56:04,446 --> 00:56:08,574
Oh, what I wouldn't give
to bite this girl in the dick.

1488
00:56:08,575 --> 00:56:11,285
But, you know, she's six, and I
don't know where she lives now,

1489
00:56:11,286 --> 00:56:13,954
and she's a girl and doesn't
even have a dick, but still.

1490
00:56:13,955 --> 00:56:16,832
Listen, what we're doing
isn't just about Doug.

1491
00:56:16,833 --> 00:56:19,210
We're doing this
for all of them.

1492
00:56:19,211 --> 00:56:21,587
For every single one
of those humans

1493
00:56:21,588 --> 00:56:24,215
who treated us like shit.

1494
00:56:24,216 --> 00:56:26,967
Man, biggest mistake of my life.

1495
00:56:26,968 --> 00:56:29,386
Yeah. I'd regret that bite, too.

1496
00:56:29,387 --> 00:56:30,846
The bite? No.

1497
00:56:30,847 --> 00:56:32,431
I'm talking about her.

1498
00:56:32,432 --> 00:56:34,308
She's the mistake, not the...

1499
00:56:34,309 --> 00:56:35,601
Okay, well, we can talk about

1500
00:56:35,602 --> 00:56:37,144
getting back at your exes
all we want,

1501
00:56:37,145 --> 00:56:39,480
but none of that matters
if we can't get out of here.

1502
00:56:39,481 --> 00:56:42,858
Guys, what if we can
get the key?

1503
00:56:42,859 --> 00:56:45,403
♪ ♪

1504
00:56:50,158 --> 00:56:51,534
Oh, no.

1505
00:56:51,535 --> 00:56:54,371
We'd need, like,
a super long pole to hook it.

1506
00:56:57,582 --> 00:56:59,751
Why is everyone looking at me?

1507
00:57:03,672 --> 00:57:05,465
Come on, Hunter, you can do it.

1508
00:57:07,050 --> 00:57:08,634
Dude, you're so close.

1509
00:57:08,635 --> 00:57:09,927
Just a little more.

1510
00:57:09,928 --> 00:57:11,679
Come on, get hornier.
You can do it.

1511
00:57:11,680 --> 00:57:13,180
This is all I got.

1512
00:57:13,181 --> 00:57:15,350
Maggie, come on. Excite him.

1513
00:57:16,184 --> 00:57:18,269
Hunter, this has been

1514
00:57:18,270 --> 00:57:22,523
a really long, hard trip,

1515
00:57:22,524 --> 00:57:25,151
but the thing
that keeps me panting

1516
00:57:25,152 --> 00:57:29,989
is thinking about us doing it,
regular style.

1517
00:57:29,990 --> 00:57:31,949
Oh, boy. It-It's working.

1518
00:57:31,950 --> 00:57:34,201
Keep talking, Maggie.
More sexy stuff.

1519
00:57:34,202 --> 00:57:35,452
Just picture me,

1520
00:57:35,453 --> 00:57:38,664
all eight nipples rock hard,

1521
00:57:38,665 --> 00:57:43,128
and I'm wearing nothing but...
the cone.

1522
00:57:45,130 --> 00:57:46,463
You're doing it, Hunter!

1523
00:57:46,464 --> 00:57:47,882
Come on, Hunter.

1524
00:57:47,883 --> 00:57:49,592
Use that dick of yours.

1525
00:57:49,593 --> 00:57:50,801
Yes, Hunter!

1526
00:57:50,802 --> 00:57:53,470
Hunter! Hunter!

1527
00:57:53,471 --> 00:57:55,598
Hunter! Hunter!

1528
00:57:55,599 --> 00:57:59,476
Hunter! Hunter! Hunter! Hunter!

1529
00:57:59,477 --> 00:58:01,562
Hunter!

1530
00:58:01,563 --> 00:58:03,189
Sorry, guys. It's hopeless.

1531
00:58:03,190 --> 00:58:04,607
Ugh. Hunter.

1532
00:58:04,608 --> 00:58:06,483
Shit. Really thought
that was gonna work.

1533
00:58:06,484 --> 00:58:08,569
Sorry my dick let you down.

1534
00:58:08,570 --> 00:58:10,446
Wait. I've got it.

1535
00:58:10,447 --> 00:58:12,823
What's the one thing
humans are obsessed with?

1536
00:58:12,824 --> 00:58:13,991
Uh, themselves.

1537
00:58:13,992 --> 00:58:15,242
- Painting their faces.
- Dying.

1538
00:58:15,243 --> 00:58:17,036
No. Bug, you said it yourself.

1539
00:58:17,037 --> 00:58:20,998
What's the thing humans are
most obsessed with about dogs?

1540
00:58:20,999 --> 00:58:23,000
- Our shit.
- Yes.

1541
00:58:23,001 --> 00:58:24,960
Every single time we shit,
what do they do?

1542
00:58:24,961 --> 00:58:26,337
They come and bag it up.

1543
00:58:26,338 --> 00:58:28,172
- Yeah.
- That's right. Once this place

1544
00:58:28,173 --> 00:58:30,674
gets all poopy,
Willy comes in and bags it up

1545
00:58:30,675 --> 00:58:32,927
- like he's collecting it for something.
- Mm-hmm.

1546
00:58:32,928 --> 00:58:34,220
- Exactly.
- For chocolate.

1547
00:58:34,221 --> 00:58:35,804
And that's our ticket
out of here.

1548
00:58:35,805 --> 00:58:38,349
We poop until
he has to open these doors,

1549
00:58:38,350 --> 00:58:40,351
and when he does, we charge.

1550
00:58:40,352 --> 00:58:41,936
- Good idea, Reg.
- Nice thinking, kid. I'm in.

1551
00:58:41,937 --> 00:58:43,604
And I got a couple of shits
in the chamber.

1552
00:58:43,605 --> 00:58:46,106
No thanks, kid.

1553
00:58:46,107 --> 00:58:47,399
What's wrong with you guys?

1554
00:58:47,400 --> 00:58:48,943
Don't you want to get out
of this place?

1555
00:58:48,944 --> 00:58:51,528
Of course. But we've been
burned so many times

1556
00:58:51,529 --> 00:58:52,905
we're smart enough to know

1557
00:58:52,906 --> 00:58:54,615
that we'll never get
beyond these walls

1558
00:58:54,616 --> 00:58:56,868
without a human coming
to adopt us.

1559
00:58:57,702 --> 00:58:59,995
Look, I get it.

1560
00:58:59,996 --> 00:59:01,997
I've had dark moments.

1561
00:59:01,998 --> 00:59:03,874
Moments where I felt stuck.

1562
00:59:03,875 --> 00:59:07,169
Moments where,
even if you couldn't see it,

1563
00:59:07,170 --> 00:59:10,464
felt like there was a wall
or a fence holding you back.

1564
00:59:10,465 --> 00:59:12,967
Yeah, invisible magic fences.
I swear to God, that's real.

1565
00:59:12,968 --> 00:59:16,136
But I'm here to tell you
that's garbage talk.

1566
00:59:16,137 --> 00:59:19,181
'Cause I was lucky enough
to meet some amazing friends

1567
00:59:19,182 --> 00:59:22,059
who taught me that
just beyond those walls

1568
00:59:22,060 --> 00:59:24,979
is a bunch of incredible stuff
worth living for.

1569
00:59:24,980 --> 00:59:26,647
There's lampposts to pee on.

1570
00:59:26,648 --> 00:59:29,858
There's scraps to eat
and couches to make love to.

1571
00:59:29,859 --> 00:59:31,277
And dead bunnies that...

1572
00:59:31,278 --> 00:59:32,736
I-I know nothing about.

1573
00:59:32,737 --> 00:59:34,405
Yeah, I know nothing
about that, either.

1574
00:59:34,406 --> 00:59:35,739
Got no clue what you're
talking about on that one.

1575
00:59:35,740 --> 00:59:36,991
And tennis balls to fetch, and...

1576
00:59:36,992 --> 00:59:38,367
A dick to bite off.

1577
00:59:38,368 --> 00:59:40,495
What? Oh, oh, yeah, yeah, yeah.
That, too.

1578
00:59:41,788 --> 00:59:45,082
But most importantly, there's
a life out there worth living.

1579
00:59:45,083 --> 00:59:46,750
- Whoo! Reggie!
- Go, Reg!

1580
00:59:46,751 --> 00:59:50,337
So I'm asking you, do you want
to stay here and die,

1581
00:59:50,338 --> 00:59:54,425
or do you want to shit
your brains out and live?

1582
00:59:54,426 --> 00:59:55,926
Live!

1583
00:59:55,927 --> 00:59:57,511
We want to live!

1584
00:59:57,512 --> 00:59:59,096
Then poop with me!

1585
00:59:59,097 --> 01:00:01,348
Poop with me to freedom!

1586
01:00:01,349 --> 01:00:03,517
♪ Oh, shit, oh, shit,
oh, shit ♪

1587
01:00:03,518 --> 01:00:06,020
♪ Oh, shit,
oh, shit, oh, shit ♪

1588
01:00:06,021 --> 01:00:08,731
- ♪ Oh, shit, oh, shit ♪
- ♪ Are you ready for this? ♪

1589
01:00:08,732 --> 01:00:11,067
- ♪ Oh, shit, oh, shit ♪
- ♪ Oh... ♪

1590
01:00:12,027 --> 01:00:15,404
Dig deep inside of you,
deep inside your colon.

1591
01:00:15,405 --> 01:00:18,907
Release your pent-up feelings.

1592
01:00:18,908 --> 01:00:20,451
Let it flow.

1593
01:00:20,452 --> 01:00:22,036
♪ When I come to the club ♪

1594
01:00:22,037 --> 01:00:23,620
- ♪ Step aside ♪
- ♪ Oh, shit ♪

1595
01:00:23,621 --> 01:00:25,914
♪ Part the seas,
don't be havin' me in the line ♪

1596
01:00:25,915 --> 01:00:27,124
♪ Oh, shit... ♪

1597
01:00:27,125 --> 01:00:29,543
Great work, everybody.
Keep on pooping.

1598
01:00:29,544 --> 01:00:32,171
- ♪ And me love you long time ♪
- ♪ Oh, shit ♪

1599
01:00:32,172 --> 01:00:34,214
♪ How come every time
you come around ♪

1600
01:00:34,215 --> 01:00:37,051
♪ My London, London Bridge
wanna go down? ♪

1601
01:00:37,052 --> 01:00:40,263
♪ Like London, London, London,
be goin' down like. ♪

1602
01:00:45,185 --> 01:00:47,644
Those are my eyes.

1603
01:00:47,645 --> 01:00:48,896
Exactly.

1604
01:00:48,897 --> 01:00:51,816
I think Dad's really
gonna love this.

1605
01:00:58,490 --> 01:01:01,201
I think it's working.
Places, everyone.

1606
01:01:07,332 --> 01:01:08,916
♪ ♪

1607
01:01:08,917 --> 01:01:11,668
Oh... oh, God.

1608
01:01:11,669 --> 01:01:14,464
I can taste it. Oh.

1609
01:01:17,842 --> 01:01:19,469
What?

1610
01:01:23,098 --> 01:01:24,808
Oh, fuck.

1611
01:01:39,948 --> 01:01:41,824
Very cute.

1612
01:01:41,825 --> 01:01:44,034
Very funny.

1613
01:01:44,035 --> 01:01:45,661
I see what's going on here.

1614
01:01:45,662 --> 01:01:50,374
You guys think that I am

1615
01:01:50,375 --> 01:01:52,876
a big fat fucking asshole, right?

1616
01:01:52,877 --> 01:01:54,711
You know everything about me.

1617
01:01:54,712 --> 01:01:57,714
You know all the things
that have happened in my life

1618
01:01:57,715 --> 01:02:00,218
with my dad and my ex-wife.

1619
01:02:05,557 --> 01:02:09,143
Bravo. Bravo.

1620
01:02:09,144 --> 01:02:10,185
Oh, encore!

1621
01:02:10,186 --> 01:02:13,021
Just kidding. It's done.

1622
01:02:13,022 --> 01:02:15,732
We are done!

1623
01:02:15,733 --> 01:02:17,109
Wait, what are you...

1624
01:02:17,110 --> 01:02:19,487
Oh, my God. Wh-Whoa.

1625
01:02:21,906 --> 01:02:23,408
Charge!

1626
01:02:35,503 --> 01:02:36,837
Ah, we did it!

1627
01:02:36,838 --> 01:02:38,422
I can't believe
we shit that much!

1628
01:02:38,423 --> 01:02:40,340
Hunter's dick! Hunter's dick!

1629
01:02:40,341 --> 01:02:42,218
To hell with you!

1630
01:02:51,019 --> 01:02:52,686
Thanks for your patience, folks.

1631
01:02:52,687 --> 01:02:54,564
Really.

1632
01:02:55,565 --> 01:02:57,858
Ooh. I'm sorry, Diane.

1633
01:02:57,859 --> 01:02:59,985
Uh... uh...

1634
01:02:59,986 --> 01:03:03,113
"Then poop with me to freedom."

1635
01:03:03,114 --> 01:03:05,365
- So cheesy, but I loved it.
- What a plan.

1636
01:03:05,366 --> 01:03:06,950
What a speech, Reg.

1637
01:03:06,951 --> 01:03:09,119
Actually, Reginald,
I preferred the first speech.

1638
01:03:09,120 --> 01:03:11,914
You know, the one where you
convinced all of us to do this,

1639
01:03:11,915 --> 01:03:14,917
back when you were focused
on biting Doug's dick off.

1640
01:03:14,918 --> 01:03:16,960
- Bug.
- Okay, okay, Bug, look...

1641
01:03:16,961 --> 01:03:18,795
Oh, look!

1642
01:03:18,796 --> 01:03:20,923
The devil in the sky.
We made it.

1643
01:03:20,924 --> 01:03:22,466
Look at that fucking guy!

1644
01:03:22,467 --> 01:03:25,219
Burn in hell, you
motherfucking son of a bitch.

1645
01:03:25,220 --> 01:03:26,595
I hate everything about him.

1646
01:03:26,596 --> 01:03:28,222
That dumb-ass smile,
those shitty pants.

1647
01:03:28,223 --> 01:03:30,098
I want to rip your nuts off
and make you watch!

1648
01:03:30,099 --> 01:03:31,683
Stupid hat and your stupid truck

1649
01:03:31,684 --> 01:03:34,311
with the door
on the other side of the thing.

1650
01:03:34,312 --> 01:03:35,646
I hate his face.

1651
01:03:35,647 --> 01:03:37,314
I hate his personality.
I hate his bag.

1652
01:03:37,315 --> 01:03:39,608
He smells like
a thousand different houses,

1653
01:03:39,609 --> 01:03:42,152
and I can't trust that.

1654
01:03:42,153 --> 01:03:44,780
Anyways, good job, guys.
The final landmark.

1655
01:03:44,781 --> 01:03:46,490
- Yeah. That's right.
- And right on schedule.

1656
01:03:46,491 --> 01:03:48,575
Yeah, barely. You remember
which way to go from here?

1657
01:03:48,576 --> 01:03:52,913
Uh, yeah, we just... we just
stay on this road for now.

1658
01:03:52,914 --> 01:03:53,997
Good. Let's move.

1659
01:03:53,998 --> 01:03:54,958
- All right.
- Great.

1660
01:03:54,959 --> 01:03:56,166
W-Wait, wait, wait.

1661
01:03:56,167 --> 01:03:57,501
One second. Can't leave yet.

1662
01:03:57,502 --> 01:03:58,710
- Huh?
- What's up, Reg?

1663
01:03:58,711 --> 01:04:00,128
Where is it?

1664
01:04:00,129 --> 01:04:01,923
Oh, there.

1665
01:04:03,424 --> 01:04:04,758
All right. Let's go, guys.

1666
01:04:04,759 --> 01:04:07,094
No, no, no, no, no, no.
Hold on a second.

1667
01:04:07,095 --> 01:04:09,221
Why couldn't you leave
without the ball, Reggie?

1668
01:04:09,222 --> 01:04:11,974
I don't know.
I-I just like tennis balls.

1669
01:04:11,975 --> 01:04:14,268
I know ball guys.
You're not a ball guy.

1670
01:04:14,269 --> 01:04:16,436
Well, you don't know
everything about me.

1671
01:04:16,437 --> 01:04:19,273
Well, I'm learning
a little more right now.

1672
01:04:19,274 --> 01:04:20,774
Drop the ball, Reg.

1673
01:04:20,775 --> 01:04:22,359
What? No.

1674
01:04:22,360 --> 01:04:24,361
Drop the fucking ball.

1675
01:04:24,362 --> 01:04:27,281
- Leave it.
- I'm not gonna leave the ball.

1676
01:04:27,282 --> 01:04:28,574
- Drop the ball!
- No.

1677
01:04:28,575 --> 01:04:29,866
Reggie, you drop
that goddamn ball!

1678
01:04:29,867 --> 01:04:31,535
- No.
- You don't even like balls!

1679
01:04:31,536 --> 01:04:33,161
Doug likes balls!

1680
01:04:33,162 --> 01:04:34,621
Doug?

1681
01:04:34,622 --> 01:04:35,706
Oh, Reg.

1682
01:04:35,707 --> 01:04:37,457
I don't know why, but he does.

1683
01:04:37,458 --> 01:04:39,376
And when we play the game
fetch-and-fuck,

1684
01:04:39,377 --> 01:04:42,629
it always ends when I come home
and bring him back a ball.

1685
01:04:42,630 --> 01:04:45,340
So I know he's expecting it,
and I'm not gonna let him down.

1686
01:04:45,341 --> 01:04:47,259
- Goddamn it.
- So, when you told me

1687
01:04:47,260 --> 01:04:50,137
you didn't know how you were
gonna bite Doug in the dick,

1688
01:04:50,138 --> 01:04:52,639
the real reason you don't know
is because...

1689
01:04:52,640 --> 01:04:54,725
You're not gonna bite Doug in the dick.

1690
01:04:54,726 --> 01:04:58,562
Look, when we first set out,
I was totally into the plan.

1691
01:04:58,563 --> 01:05:00,522
But the closer we got to Doug,

1692
01:05:00,523 --> 01:05:04,151
the more I realize
that I miss him.

1693
01:05:04,152 --> 01:05:06,278
And I think he misses me, too.

1694
01:05:06,279 --> 01:05:07,487
Reggie, don't do this.

1695
01:05:07,488 --> 01:05:09,323
You deserve so much better
than him.

1696
01:05:09,324 --> 01:05:10,699
I don't, Hunter.

1697
01:05:10,700 --> 01:05:12,075
I really don't.

1698
01:05:12,076 --> 01:05:13,660
You know why Doug abandoned me?

1699
01:05:13,661 --> 01:05:16,163
Because I was the problem
in our relationship.

1700
01:05:16,164 --> 01:05:17,497
I ate his shoes.

1701
01:05:17,498 --> 01:05:19,249
I woke him up so early every day

1702
01:05:19,250 --> 01:05:20,751
because I needed to pee.

1703
01:05:20,752 --> 01:05:22,210
And I pooped on the rug.

1704
01:05:22,211 --> 01:05:24,087
We've all pooped on the rug, Reggie.

1705
01:05:24,088 --> 01:05:26,798
Oh, did you roll in it, Maggie?
Did you roll in the poop?

1706
01:05:26,799 --> 01:05:29,217
Because guess what,
I rolled in the poop.

1707
01:05:29,218 --> 01:05:30,552
Okay, that's not great.

1708
01:05:30,553 --> 01:05:32,512
God, I can't believe
it took me this long

1709
01:05:32,513 --> 01:05:35,557
to realize this... that every
time he called me a bad dog,

1710
01:05:35,558 --> 01:05:37,100
he was absolutely right.

1711
01:05:37,101 --> 01:05:38,602
It was all my fault.

1712
01:05:38,603 --> 01:05:39,895
Wow.

1713
01:05:39,896 --> 01:05:41,188
Well, I'm not gonna be
a bad dog anymore.

1714
01:05:41,189 --> 01:05:43,190
It's time for me
to be a good boy.

1715
01:05:43,191 --> 01:05:46,985
Jesus, I cannot believe that I
risked my life for this asshole

1716
01:05:46,986 --> 01:05:49,905
just so he could go back
and get with another asshole.

1717
01:05:49,906 --> 01:05:52,574
I did all of this for you, Reggie.

1718
01:05:52,575 --> 01:05:53,992
You didn't do this for me.

1719
01:05:53,993 --> 01:05:56,119
You said it yourself...
This isn't about Doug.

1720
01:05:56,120 --> 01:05:58,121
This is about
every single one of them

1721
01:05:58,122 --> 01:05:59,873
who treated us like shit.

1722
01:05:59,874 --> 01:06:01,083
This is about Emma.

1723
01:06:01,084 --> 01:06:03,126
- Reggie.
- Fuck you.

1724
01:06:03,127 --> 01:06:05,253
Hey, how about
rule number three, Bug?

1725
01:06:05,254 --> 01:06:06,505
You're on your own?

1726
01:06:06,506 --> 01:06:07,964
Well, then what were we?

1727
01:06:07,965 --> 01:06:09,716
- Wow.
- I don't think you really want to be a stray.

1728
01:06:09,717 --> 01:06:11,134
I think you're sad and lonely.

1729
01:06:11,135 --> 01:06:12,719
Can you believe
this fucking guy?

1730
01:06:12,720 --> 01:06:15,055
And I think the only reason
you claim to hate humans

1731
01:06:15,056 --> 01:06:17,599
is because, if you ever stop
to think about what happened,

1732
01:06:17,600 --> 01:06:21,353
you'd realize that Emma
didn't fuck it up; You did.

1733
01:06:21,354 --> 01:06:22,896
Get the fuck away from me.

1734
01:06:22,897 --> 01:06:24,815
Believe me, I-I fucked up
with my owner, too,

1735
01:06:24,816 --> 01:06:27,484
so thank you for helping me
realize I was the problem.

1736
01:06:27,485 --> 01:06:30,362
Only difference is
I have a chance to fix it

1737
01:06:30,363 --> 01:06:32,573
and not end up like you.

1738
01:06:33,783 --> 01:06:35,117
Hey, hey, hey,
what are you doing?

1739
01:06:35,118 --> 01:06:36,326
- Guys, guys, stop.
- Guys, stop it.

1740
01:06:36,327 --> 01:06:37,786
- Guys! -Guys, come on.
- Come on!

1741
01:06:37,787 --> 01:06:39,371
- Give me this fucking thing.
- Give it back!

1742
01:06:39,372 --> 01:06:40,789
- Bug.
- Guys.

1743
01:06:40,790 --> 01:06:41,915
Doug gave me that!
Give that back!

1744
01:06:41,916 --> 01:06:43,500
- I know he did.
- No!

1745
01:06:43,501 --> 01:06:45,419
- Stop it. Stop.
- Bug, don't do that.

1746
01:06:45,420 --> 01:06:47,879
That's what I think
about you and your owner.

1747
01:06:47,880 --> 01:06:49,756
Go fuck yourself, Reggie!

1748
01:06:49,757 --> 01:06:52,009
You two deserve each other.

1749
01:06:55,471 --> 01:06:58,182
♪ ♪

1750
01:07:00,435 --> 01:07:02,227
- Reggie, don't do this!
- Reg.

1751
01:07:02,228 --> 01:07:04,522
I hope he's already left
without you.

1752
01:07:09,694 --> 01:07:11,570
Man.

1753
01:07:11,571 --> 01:07:15,282
I really thought my dick
was gonna hook those keys.

1754
01:07:15,283 --> 01:07:19,244
Um, but this is also a bummer.

1755
01:07:19,245 --> 01:07:21,414
♪ ♪

1756
01:07:27,587 --> 01:07:29,880
Bug, we can't go back.

1757
01:07:29,881 --> 01:07:31,173
Sure, we can.

1758
01:07:31,174 --> 01:07:33,258
The devil in the sky,
cone, hamster wheel,

1759
01:07:33,259 --> 01:07:35,260
just in the opposite order
of how we came.

1760
01:07:35,261 --> 01:07:36,762
No dead bunnies this time.

1761
01:07:36,763 --> 01:07:38,305
Bug, she means
we can't leave him like this.

1762
01:07:38,306 --> 01:07:40,849
First off, Hunter,
we didn't leave him.

1763
01:07:40,850 --> 01:07:42,267
He left us.

1764
01:07:42,268 --> 01:07:44,436
Second, we don't know
the rest of the way

1765
01:07:44,437 --> 01:07:45,896
back to Doug's place anyway.

1766
01:07:45,897 --> 01:07:48,273
And third, I'm not just
gonna hang around here

1767
01:07:48,274 --> 01:07:49,816
and let some dick less bird

1768
01:07:49,817 --> 01:07:51,985
swoop in on my girlfriend
while I'm gone.

1769
01:07:51,986 --> 01:07:53,612
- What?
- Look,

1770
01:07:53,613 --> 01:07:55,614
if there's one thing
that the asshole got right,

1771
01:07:55,615 --> 01:07:58,492
it's that I have been
wasting my time with you guys.

1772
01:07:58,493 --> 01:08:01,495
I'm a stray, and I should start
acting like one.

1773
01:08:01,496 --> 01:08:03,371
- Wait, where are you going?
- I don't know.

1774
01:08:03,372 --> 01:08:05,582
- I'm about to go do some nunya.
- What's nunya?

1775
01:08:05,583 --> 01:08:07,584
- Nunya fucking business!
- Oh, yeah,

1776
01:08:07,585 --> 01:08:09,169
I walked right into that one.

1777
01:08:09,170 --> 01:08:11,339
Let's go home, Hunter.

1778
01:08:15,051 --> 01:08:16,885
Talking about I'm lonely.
Talking about I'm scared.

1779
01:08:16,886 --> 01:08:18,720
Fuck does he think
he's talking about?

1780
01:08:18,721 --> 01:08:20,847
I'm-a tell you right now,
I ain't lonely,

1781
01:08:20,848 --> 01:08:22,432
and I damn sure ain't scared.

1782
01:08:22,433 --> 01:08:24,226
Fuck you, leaf.

1783
01:08:24,227 --> 01:08:25,852
End up like me?

1784
01:08:25,853 --> 01:08:28,188
I pissed on two cars
and three houses last week.

1785
01:08:28,189 --> 01:08:30,232
That's right,
I'm a three-year-old dog,

1786
01:08:30,233 --> 01:08:31,858
and I'm already a homeowner.

1787
01:08:31,859 --> 01:08:33,235
I'm living
the motherfucking dream, hmm?

1788
01:08:33,236 --> 01:08:35,028
And I'm not scared to be alone.

1789
01:08:35,029 --> 01:08:37,156
Matter of fact,
I ain't scared of anything.

1790
01:08:38,616 --> 01:08:39,616
Who's that?

1791
01:08:39,617 --> 01:08:40,909
Don't come closer.

1792
01:08:40,910 --> 01:08:43,996
I-I, uh... I'm crazy.
I fuck trash!

1793
01:08:59,011 --> 01:09:01,221
Nope, not doing this.

1794
01:09:01,222 --> 01:09:02,597
Just walk away, Bug.

1795
01:09:02,598 --> 01:09:05,768
Little girls like Emma suck,
and you know it.

1796
01:09:11,983 --> 01:09:13,942
Don't listen to her, man.
Don't listen to her.

1797
01:09:13,943 --> 01:09:16,027
Another fucking narcissist

1798
01:09:16,028 --> 01:09:17,612
putting her needs
above your own.

1799
01:09:17,613 --> 01:09:19,573
You've been down
this fucking road before, man.

1800
01:09:19,574 --> 01:09:21,616
Just... just...

1801
01:09:21,617 --> 01:09:23,786
Goddamn it.

1802
01:09:30,626 --> 01:09:33,003
Hey there.

1803
01:09:33,004 --> 01:09:35,673
What are you doing out here
all alone?

1804
01:09:36,382 --> 01:09:38,091
Did you get lost like me?

1805
01:09:38,092 --> 01:09:39,301
It's gonna be okay.

1806
01:09:39,302 --> 01:09:40,677
Holy shit. Wait!

1807
01:09:40,678 --> 01:09:41,887
You're the girl
that everyone's looking for.

1808
01:09:41,888 --> 01:09:43,013
Holy shit.

1809
01:09:43,014 --> 01:09:45,432
I found her! I found her!

1810
01:09:45,433 --> 01:09:47,100
S-Somebody, please help!

1811
01:09:47,101 --> 01:09:48,351
I found the girl!

1812
01:09:48,352 --> 01:09:50,812
- That's Bug.
- Bug! Where are you?

1813
01:09:50,813 --> 01:09:52,480
Let's go.

1814
01:09:52,481 --> 01:09:55,108
♪ ♪

1815
01:09:55,109 --> 01:09:56,694
I see him!

1816
01:09:58,029 --> 01:09:59,279
I can't believe
you found the girl.

1817
01:09:59,280 --> 01:10:00,864
Oh, my God, Bug.

1818
01:10:00,865 --> 01:10:03,366
Come on. We got to get her
some help. She's in bad shape.

1819
01:10:03,367 --> 01:10:04,993
- Help! Over here!
- Over here!

1820
01:10:04,994 --> 01:10:06,328
We found her! Help!

1821
01:10:06,329 --> 01:10:08,998
- Help! Help!
- Rolf, you dickhead! Help!

1822
01:10:12,251 --> 01:10:14,294
Lost kid! Let's move!

1823
01:10:14,295 --> 01:10:15,545
- Over here!
- Rolf! -Help!

1824
01:10:15,546 --> 01:10:16,755
- Here they come.
- Over here.

1825
01:10:16,756 --> 01:10:18,715
Munchkin, check the girl.

1826
01:10:18,716 --> 01:10:21,051
Hell of a job,
Hunter and small dogs.

1827
01:10:21,052 --> 01:10:24,054
- Didn't know you had it in you.
- Oh, my God. Oh, my God. Riley!

1828
01:10:24,055 --> 01:10:26,431
Riley, here you are.
Good dog. Good dog.

1829
01:10:26,432 --> 01:10:27,766
You're okay.

1830
01:10:27,767 --> 01:10:28,975
I'm not even gonna ask

1831
01:10:28,976 --> 01:10:30,810
how you ended up
back in these woods.

1832
01:10:30,811 --> 01:10:34,148
How can I repay you?

1833
01:10:35,316 --> 01:10:38,026
You can help save
my best friend.

1834
01:10:38,027 --> 01:10:40,403
♪ ♪

1835
01:10:40,404 --> 01:10:42,906
Oh, what am I gonna say?
What am I gonna say?

1836
01:10:42,907 --> 01:10:45,867
Okay, I should probably
rehearse this.

1837
01:10:45,868 --> 01:10:46,993
Hey, Doug.

1838
01:10:46,994 --> 01:10:48,411
Hey, shit bag.

1839
01:10:48,412 --> 01:10:49,746
What have you been up to?

1840
01:10:49,747 --> 01:10:51,164
Mostly masturbating.

1841
01:10:51,165 --> 01:10:53,333
Oh, cool. Classic Doug.

1842
01:10:53,334 --> 01:10:55,377
So, I owe you an apology.

1843
01:10:55,378 --> 01:10:56,711
Okay.

1844
01:10:56,712 --> 01:10:58,004
You were totally right

1845
01:10:58,005 --> 01:10:59,255
to ditch me in that alley.

1846
01:10:59,256 --> 01:11:00,507
I mean, I was terrible.

1847
01:11:00,508 --> 01:11:01,841
Agreed.

1848
01:11:01,842 --> 01:11:03,510
But I was wondering, um,

1849
01:11:03,511 --> 01:11:06,221
if we could maybe make
some changes when I'm back.

1850
01:11:06,222 --> 01:11:08,181
Like, maybe we could
do walks now

1851
01:11:08,182 --> 01:11:11,267
and possibly increase
pee breaks to twice a day

1852
01:11:11,268 --> 01:11:14,354
and maybe, if you feel like it,
you could call me a...

1853
01:11:14,355 --> 01:11:17,108
a good boy
every once in a while.

1854
01:11:21,904 --> 01:11:24,281
Ugh, this is stupid.

1855
01:11:27,785 --> 01:11:29,327
What you mean,
you can't track him down?

1856
01:11:29,328 --> 01:11:30,787
You're sniff dogs.
That's what you do, right?

1857
01:11:30,788 --> 01:11:32,664
Yeah, come on, Rolf,
they taught us that.

1858
01:11:32,665 --> 01:11:34,082
It's impossible.

1859
01:11:34,083 --> 01:11:35,792
We can't track him without
knowing his scent first.

1860
01:11:35,793 --> 01:11:37,669
Did you get any whiff of him
yesterday, Munchkin?

1861
01:11:37,670 --> 01:11:39,462
Nothing I can recall, sir.

1862
01:11:39,463 --> 01:11:41,089
- Wait! The bandanna!
- Come again.

1863
01:11:41,090 --> 01:11:42,757
We can get his scent
from the bandanna.

1864
01:11:42,758 --> 01:11:44,718
- Let's go! Let's go!
- Nice, Maggie.

1865
01:11:44,719 --> 01:11:46,928
Rolf? Hey, Rolf!

1866
01:11:46,929 --> 01:11:48,888
- There it is!
- There! There it is!

1867
01:11:48,889 --> 01:11:50,682
There it is!

1868
01:11:50,683 --> 01:11:52,434
Way to go, Maggie.

1869
01:11:52,435 --> 01:11:53,935
Halt!

1870
01:11:53,936 --> 01:11:56,021
Good God, what's that smell?

1871
01:11:56,022 --> 01:11:57,480
Can you smell Reggie
off that thing?

1872
01:11:57,481 --> 01:12:00,400
I'm not getting
any dog off of this, sir.

1873
01:12:00,401 --> 01:12:01,526
Just a lot of urine.

1874
01:12:01,527 --> 01:12:02,861
- Oh, huh. Oh, wow.
- Huh.

1875
01:12:02,862 --> 01:12:04,529
- That's, uh, weird.
- It was Bug.

1876
01:12:04,530 --> 01:12:06,281
And from the same patterns,
I can tell

1877
01:12:06,282 --> 01:12:08,074
this was
a very small pee stream,

1878
01:12:08,075 --> 01:12:11,161
indicative of a dog with
an unbelievably tiny penis.

1879
01:12:11,162 --> 01:12:13,288
- Again, Bug.
- It ain't indicative of shit.

1880
01:12:13,289 --> 01:12:15,832
If anything, it is indicative
of a well-shaped,

1881
01:12:15,833 --> 01:12:18,710
sensual penis
that transcends dick size.

1882
01:12:18,711 --> 01:12:20,754
Lots of TDU... tiny dick urine...
Over here.

1883
01:12:20,755 --> 01:12:22,380
It would take a miracle
to pick up

1884
01:12:22,381 --> 01:12:23,923
any dog scent off of that thing.

1885
01:12:23,924 --> 01:12:25,925
There you are.
What's gotten into you guys?

1886
01:12:25,926 --> 01:12:27,761
Fuck are you doing?

1887
01:12:27,762 --> 01:12:29,095
You'll taint the smell!

1888
01:12:29,096 --> 01:12:30,722
I'm doing your job.

1889
01:12:30,723 --> 01:12:32,390
Now, back the fuck off, Adolf.

1890
01:12:32,391 --> 01:12:33,767
- Adolf?
- It's 'cause you're

1891
01:12:33,768 --> 01:12:35,268
a German shep... Oh, whatever.

1892
01:12:35,269 --> 01:12:36,771
I get it now. Hitler reference.

1893
01:12:38,105 --> 01:12:40,107
Go, Maggie. Go, Maggie.

1894
01:12:44,028 --> 01:12:45,528
I'm picking up...

1895
01:12:45,529 --> 01:12:47,781
bitches of the night,
pizza, vomit pizza,

1896
01:12:47,782 --> 01:12:49,407
hot dogs, all of our pee,

1897
01:12:49,408 --> 01:12:51,367
eagle feathers, Dennis Quaid?

1898
01:12:51,368 --> 01:12:53,536
Squirrel sex, dead bunnies
that I know nothing about,

1899
01:12:53,537 --> 01:12:55,038
Hunter's boner,
oh, lots of shit,

1900
01:12:55,039 --> 01:12:57,415
a tiny Boston terrier dick and...

1901
01:12:57,416 --> 01:12:59,125
Reggie! I got him.

1902
01:12:59,126 --> 01:13:00,293
- Yes, Maggie.
- Let's move!

1903
01:13:00,294 --> 01:13:01,377
Come on, let's go!

1904
01:13:01,378 --> 01:13:02,796
Thanks, Rolf!

1905
01:13:02,797 --> 01:13:05,048
Except for when
you fucked us over!

1906
01:13:05,049 --> 01:13:06,424
Good luck, soldiers.

1907
01:13:06,425 --> 01:13:08,676
And sorry
I'm such a fucking asshole!

1908
01:13:08,677 --> 01:13:10,553
I should really work on myself.

1909
01:13:10,554 --> 01:13:12,723
♪ ♪

1910
01:13:26,779 --> 01:13:28,948
♪ ♪

1911
01:13:53,973 --> 01:13:56,684
♪ ♪

1912
01:14:01,897 --> 01:14:04,732
Oh, thanks
for shitting on the carpet.

1913
01:14:04,733 --> 01:14:07,026
The fuck are you thinking, huh?

1914
01:14:07,027 --> 01:14:10,531
Oh, you're such a stupid
little piece of shit.

1915
01:14:18,706 --> 01:14:21,624
Can you just leave me
the fuck alone?

1916
01:14:21,625 --> 01:14:23,919
Bad dog!

1917
01:14:29,592 --> 01:14:32,803
That's what you fucking
sound like, you piece of shit.

1918
01:14:46,275 --> 01:14:48,944
♪ ♪

1919
01:15:00,206 --> 01:15:03,542
Okay, one last shit on
the carpet, and then I'm out.

1920
01:15:23,395 --> 01:15:25,022
Hey, Doug.

1921
01:15:25,856 --> 01:15:27,523
Fuck.

1922
01:15:27,524 --> 01:15:29,275
It's me, Reggie.

1923
01:15:29,276 --> 01:15:32,362
A-And look, I-I know
you can't understand

1924
01:15:32,363 --> 01:15:33,655
what I'm saying right now...

1925
01:15:33,656 --> 01:15:35,031
This is not happening.

1926
01:15:35,032 --> 01:15:37,742
But I just want to say
how I feel.

1927
01:15:37,743 --> 01:15:39,744
I know you didn't like me.

1928
01:15:39,745 --> 01:15:41,663
I mean, obviously.

1929
01:15:41,664 --> 01:15:43,706
You abandoned me in the street.

1930
01:15:43,707 --> 01:15:46,626
But just know that
I did everything I could

1931
01:15:46,627 --> 01:15:48,461
to make you feel loved.

1932
01:15:48,462 --> 01:15:50,880
And I thought,
if I loved you enough,

1933
01:15:50,881 --> 01:15:53,968
then maybe you would
love me back.

1934
01:15:54,843 --> 01:15:56,803
But then I met new friends.

1935
01:15:56,804 --> 01:16:01,057
I met the sweetest big dog
with just the nicest dick,

1936
01:16:01,058 --> 01:16:04,143
the most talented,
baddest bitch in the world,

1937
01:16:04,144 --> 01:16:06,771
and the-the tiniest, scrappiest,

1938
01:16:06,772 --> 01:16:10,441
funniest best friend
I could ever ask for.

1939
01:16:10,442 --> 01:16:14,279
Oh, and I met my son, too,
who's a gnome, and we had sex.

1940
01:16:14,280 --> 01:16:15,571
But whatever.

1941
01:16:15,572 --> 01:16:18,616
The point is
those friends showed me

1942
01:16:18,617 --> 01:16:20,660
what real love feels like,

1943
01:16:20,661 --> 01:16:23,246
and it's nothing
like what we had.

1944
01:16:23,247 --> 01:16:26,708
Now I know that
I wasn't a bad dog.

1945
01:16:26,709 --> 01:16:30,086
You were a bad man.

1946
01:16:30,087 --> 01:16:32,089
Bad man! Bad man!

1947
01:16:36,260 --> 01:16:38,094
Goodbye, Doug.

1948
01:16:38,095 --> 01:16:39,638
And fuck you.

1949
01:16:46,061 --> 01:16:48,021
Now, what do I got to do

1950
01:16:48,022 --> 01:16:51,399
to get you the fuck
out of my life?

1951
01:16:51,400 --> 01:16:53,693
I mean, how do you
not get it, man?

1952
01:16:53,694 --> 01:16:57,155
I drove you three hours away.

1953
01:16:57,156 --> 01:16:59,032
I mean, how could I make it
any more clear

1954
01:16:59,033 --> 01:17:01,034
that I don't care about you?

1955
01:17:01,035 --> 01:17:03,202
I don't fucking love you.

1956
01:17:03,203 --> 01:17:05,205
Goodbye forever, shit bag.

1957
01:17:06,498 --> 01:17:10,209
Well, at least I found
someone who loved me.

1958
01:17:10,210 --> 01:17:12,087
Pee-FFs forever.

1959
01:17:14,923 --> 01:17:16,883
Pee-FFs forever!

1960
01:17:16,884 --> 01:17:18,384
The fuck?

1961
01:17:18,385 --> 01:17:20,136
Who the hell are these dogs?

1962
01:17:20,137 --> 01:17:23,057
Jesus Christ, it's like
a fucking dog movie in here.

1963
01:17:25,559 --> 01:17:26,893
Oh, yeah?

1964
01:17:26,894 --> 01:17:29,730
The fuck are you gonna do
about it, cone boy?

1965
01:17:39,323 --> 01:17:40,699
Oh, shit.

1966
01:17:46,997 --> 01:17:48,498
Reggie, you okay?

1967
01:17:48,499 --> 01:17:50,166
Listen, Bug, I-I'm so sorry
for what I said. I...

1968
01:17:50,167 --> 01:17:51,709
Don't worry about that
right now.

1969
01:17:51,710 --> 01:17:53,420
Yeah, we've got a dick
to rip off.

1970
01:17:57,758 --> 01:17:59,635
Get the fuck off me!

1971
01:18:00,386 --> 01:18:01,719
Fuck. What the...

1972
01:18:01,720 --> 01:18:04,472
Get off me! Let go! Goddamn it.

1973
01:18:04,473 --> 01:18:06,265
Ow! Fuck, my knee!

1974
01:18:06,266 --> 01:18:08,184
Goddamn it!

1975
01:18:08,185 --> 01:18:10,687
Oh, you want some, huh?

1976
01:18:13,107 --> 01:18:14,941
Oh, goddamn it!

1977
01:18:14,942 --> 01:18:16,985
You little fuckers owe me
a microwave!

1978
01:18:18,112 --> 01:18:20,030
Eat some foot!

1979
01:18:20,823 --> 01:18:22,699
Aah, my foot!

1980
01:18:26,954 --> 01:18:28,372
Shitbag.

1981
01:18:37,089 --> 01:18:39,632
Oh, fuck, my back!

1982
01:18:39,633 --> 01:18:41,259
- Fuck!
- Guys, we should get out of here.

1983
01:18:41,260 --> 01:18:42,510
Reggie!

1984
01:18:42,511 --> 01:18:44,345
Got you, you little shit.

1985
01:18:44,346 --> 01:18:46,305
Well, look at you.

1986
01:18:46,306 --> 01:18:48,349
You got yourself some friends?

1987
01:18:48,350 --> 01:18:51,811
Let me tell you furry fucks something.

1988
01:18:51,812 --> 01:18:55,440
Your little buddy here
ruined my life.

1989
01:18:55,441 --> 01:18:58,985
Before him, I had
a fucking good thing going.

1990
01:18:58,986 --> 01:19:02,113
A roof over my head,
checks from my mom,

1991
01:19:02,114 --> 01:19:03,489
two girlfriends.

1992
01:19:03,490 --> 01:19:07,285
Now I have no house,
no girlfriends,

1993
01:19:07,286 --> 01:19:09,203
and I have to masturbate
all day.

1994
01:19:09,204 --> 01:19:12,457
All right, this dog turned me
into a fucking loser!

1995
01:19:12,458 --> 01:19:13,916
Why's he talking so much?

1996
01:19:13,917 --> 01:19:18,004
You ever see the end
of Marley & Me? Huh?

1997
01:19:18,005 --> 01:19:19,422
Yeah. Me, neither.

1998
01:19:19,423 --> 01:19:21,507
It's fucking boring.

1999
01:19:21,508 --> 01:19:24,886
But I do know that
the dog dies in the end.

2000
01:19:24,887 --> 01:19:26,679
I'm gonna enjoy

2001
01:19:26,680 --> 01:19:29,223
squeezing the life out of you.

2002
01:19:29,224 --> 01:19:31,142
Maggie, Hunter, get in position.

2003
01:19:31,143 --> 01:19:32,560
- Got it.
- Copy.

2004
01:19:32,561 --> 01:19:34,103
'Cause you squeezed
the life out of me.

2005
01:19:34,104 --> 01:19:35,646
Wait, what's happening?

2006
01:19:35,647 --> 01:19:37,690
What are they doing getting in
a line like that? What...

2007
01:19:37,691 --> 01:19:40,193
♪ ♪

2008
01:19:40,194 --> 01:19:43,030
Fuck you!

2009
01:19:56,126 --> 01:19:58,794
♪ We clawed, we chained ♪

2010
01:19:58,795 --> 01:20:00,463
♪ Our hearts in vain ♪

2011
01:20:00,464 --> 01:20:03,758
♪ We jumped, never asking why ♪

2012
01:20:03,759 --> 01:20:07,553
♪ We kissed, I fell
under your spell ♪

2013
01:20:07,554 --> 01:20:12,725
♪ A love no one could deny ♪

2014
01:20:12,726 --> 01:20:14,894
♪ Don't you ever say... ♪

2015
01:20:14,895 --> 01:20:17,438
Bad fucking dog.

2016
01:20:17,439 --> 01:20:20,317
You're goddamn right.

2017
01:20:21,026 --> 01:20:23,111
♪ I came in
like a wrecking ball ♪

2018
01:20:24,738 --> 01:20:28,699
♪ I never hit so hard in love ♪

2019
01:20:28,700 --> 01:20:32,828
♪ All I wanted was
to break your walls ♪

2020
01:20:32,829 --> 01:20:35,164
♪ All you ever did was ♪

2021
01:20:35,165 --> 01:20:36,708
♪ Wre-e-eck me ♪

2022
01:20:37,876 --> 01:20:41,462
♪ Yeah, you, you wre-e-eck me ♪

2023
01:20:41,463 --> 01:20:45,424
♪ I put you high up in the sky ♪

2024
01:20:45,425 --> 01:20:49,554
♪ And now
you're not coming down ♪

2025
01:20:49,555 --> 01:20:53,724
♪ It slowly turned,
you let me burn ♪

2026
01:20:53,725 --> 01:20:57,396
♪ And now
we're ashes on the ground ♪

2027
01:20:58,272 --> 01:21:01,607
♪ Don't you ever say
I just walked away ♪

2028
01:21:01,608 --> 01:21:04,902
♪ I will always want you ♪

2029
01:21:04,903 --> 01:21:08,864
♪ I came in
like a wrecking ball ♪

2030
01:21:08,865 --> 01:21:12,702
♪ Yeah, I just closed my eyes
and swung ♪

2031
01:21:12,703 --> 01:21:16,122
♪ Left me crashing
in a blazing fall ♪

2032
01:21:16,123 --> 01:21:21,460
♪ All you ever did was
wre-e-eck me ♪

2033
01:21:21,461 --> 01:21:24,881
♪ Yeah, you, you wre-e-eck me ♪

2034
01:21:28,427 --> 01:21:31,887
♪ I never meant to start a war ♪

2035
01:21:31,888 --> 01:21:35,516
♪ I just wanted you
to let me in... ♪

2036
01:21:35,517 --> 01:21:38,227
Uh, yeah,
we should probably leave.

2037
01:21:38,228 --> 01:21:39,645
Oh, yeah, we got to go
right now?

2038
01:21:39,646 --> 01:21:40,980
I was kind of enjoying this.

2039
01:21:40,981 --> 01:21:42,481
♪ I guess I should've
let you win... ♪

2040
01:21:42,482 --> 01:21:43,983
Yo, Reg, I got to be
honest with you, man.

2041
01:21:43,984 --> 01:21:45,443
I ain't think
you was gonna do that shit.

2042
01:21:45,444 --> 01:21:47,236
You really committed to that.

2043
01:21:47,237 --> 01:21:48,738
Yeah, that was more
graphic than I was expecting.

2044
01:21:48,739 --> 01:21:49,989
That was almost too far.

2045
01:21:49,990 --> 01:21:51,240
You one-upped me, for sure.

2046
01:21:51,241 --> 01:21:52,575
I mean, I bit a girl's ankle.

2047
01:21:52,576 --> 01:21:55,287
You ripped a man's penis off.

2048
01:22:10,177 --> 01:22:13,512
Today is gonna be
the best day ever.

2049
01:22:13,513 --> 01:22:15,014
How do I know that?

2050
01:22:15,015 --> 01:22:17,725
Because every day
is the best day ever.

2051
01:22:17,726 --> 01:22:21,187
Hunter went back to his job
at the old human home,

2052
01:22:21,188 --> 01:22:23,147
and he didn't even need
his cone.

2053
01:22:23,148 --> 01:22:24,398
Hey, Cone of Shame.

2054
01:22:24,399 --> 01:22:25,983
Where's your lampshade?

2055
01:22:25,984 --> 01:22:28,444
Actually, Bubsy,
I don't need that cone anymore,

2056
01:22:28,445 --> 01:22:30,988
just like I don't need
any of your shit anymore.

2057
01:22:30,989 --> 01:22:32,239
Fuck you, Bubsy.

2058
01:22:32,240 --> 01:22:34,158
Wow. I had no idea
you felt that way.

2059
01:22:34,159 --> 01:22:36,620
I'm sorry. I-I'm just gonna go.

2060
01:22:37,537 --> 01:22:38,954
Fuck your mother!

2061
01:22:38,955 --> 01:22:40,456
Fuck out of here!

2062
01:22:40,457 --> 01:22:42,041
And he finally found the courage

2063
01:22:42,042 --> 01:22:43,834
to let Maggie know
how he feels about her.

2064
01:22:43,835 --> 01:22:45,670
And now they have sex
all the time.

2065
01:22:45,671 --> 01:22:48,214
Regular style, of course.

2066
01:22:48,215 --> 01:22:50,008
Attaboy, Hunter.

2067
01:22:51,259 --> 01:22:53,427
Reminds me of when I was young.

2068
01:22:53,428 --> 01:22:56,055
You used to fuck dogs?

2069
01:22:56,056 --> 01:22:57,223
What?

2070
01:22:57,224 --> 01:22:58,641
And Maggie, well,

2071
01:22:58,642 --> 01:23:01,060
she finally got
the owner she deserves.

2072
01:23:01,061 --> 01:23:04,063
Maggie's part of
the detection squad now,

2073
01:23:04,064 --> 01:23:06,232
and she's the best sniffer
on the team.

2074
01:23:06,233 --> 01:23:08,943
Oh, I love the costume
you gave her.

2075
01:23:08,944 --> 01:23:10,152
So good.

2076
01:23:10,153 --> 01:23:12,321
Uniform. For work.

2077
01:23:12,322 --> 01:23:14,156
And Bug's the same old Bug.

2078
01:23:14,157 --> 01:23:16,325
With one pretty big exception.

2079
01:23:16,326 --> 01:23:18,662
He's changed his stance
on people.

2080
01:23:19,996 --> 01:23:22,665
Or at least
one very special person.

2081
01:23:22,666 --> 01:23:24,333
♪ And you're feeling down ♪

2082
01:23:24,334 --> 01:23:25,668
♪ You can follow me ♪

2083
01:23:25,669 --> 01:23:28,088
♪ And I'll show you
how to love ♪

2084
01:23:29,047 --> 01:23:30,256
♪ To love... ♪

2085
01:23:30,257 --> 01:23:32,299
Sure, joining a family was a bit

2086
01:23:32,300 --> 01:23:35,220
of a learning experience
for him.

2087
01:23:36,638 --> 01:23:38,431
Oh, baby, I love this.

2088
01:23:38,432 --> 01:23:40,850
Your cushions are so much
tighter than Dolores's.

2089
01:23:40,851 --> 01:23:44,603
Now, what is this fabric?
Faux suede?

2090
01:23:44,604 --> 01:23:45,771
Hey.

2091
01:23:45,772 --> 01:23:47,149
Oh, hey, Kevin.

2092
01:23:48,024 --> 01:23:50,318
Come on, buddy.
No humping the couch.

2093
01:23:51,695 --> 01:23:54,406
Nothing will ever
come between us.

2094
01:23:55,365 --> 01:23:58,117
Yep, life is pretty damn great.

2095
01:23:58,118 --> 01:23:59,910
So we'll see you guys tonight?

2096
01:23:59,911 --> 01:24:01,036
- Yep.
- You know it.

2097
01:24:01,037 --> 01:24:02,873
Scraps night.

2098
01:24:05,333 --> 01:24:08,711
As for me,
I chose to stay a stray,

2099
01:24:08,712 --> 01:24:10,546
and I couldn't be happier.

2100
01:24:10,547 --> 01:24:12,715
And for any dogs in need,

2101
01:24:12,716 --> 01:24:14,800
I'll be there
to show them the ropes.

2102
01:24:14,801 --> 01:24:17,428
Hey there. I'm Reggie.
You got a name?

2103
01:24:17,429 --> 01:24:19,764
Oh, hi. I'm-I'm Shitstain.

2104
01:24:19,765 --> 01:24:22,684
No. No, no, no.
That's not your name. Trust me.

2105
01:24:23,518 --> 01:24:25,519
Rule number one
of being a stray:

2106
01:24:25,520 --> 01:24:27,813
You want something,
you pee on it.

2107
01:24:27,814 --> 01:24:29,648
And whatever you pee on
is yours.

2108
01:24:29,649 --> 01:24:31,817
Oh. How about this lamppost?

2109
01:24:31,818 --> 01:24:34,445
- That's mine!
- Oh. Okay.

2110
01:24:34,446 --> 01:24:35,738
Rule number two:

2111
01:24:35,739 --> 01:24:37,573
You can pretty much hump
whatever you want.

2112
01:24:37,574 --> 01:24:39,200
- Cool! Sweet!
- Awesome! Yes!

2113
01:24:39,201 --> 01:24:44,038
Rule number three is the most
important rule, bar none:

2114
01:24:44,039 --> 01:24:46,166
You are not alone.

2115
01:24:47,042 --> 01:24:49,126
You know,
I used to think my place

2116
01:24:49,127 --> 01:24:51,378
was by Doug's side,
but now I know

2117
01:24:51,379 --> 01:24:53,589
my place is
wherever I want it to be,

2118
01:24:53,590 --> 01:24:56,842
and I've never felt
more at home.

2119
01:24:56,843 --> 01:24:59,011
'Cause I know a guy
who lets me crash

2120
01:24:59,012 --> 01:25:01,180
whenever I want.

2121
01:25:01,181 --> 01:25:03,141
- Hey, loser.
- Hey, fuck face.

2122
01:25:06,436 --> 01:25:08,605
Liam, the cute scruffy dog
is back!

2123
01:25:15,278 --> 01:25:18,031
Isn't this the life?

2124
01:25:19,032 --> 01:25:20,950
Who's a good boy?

2125
01:25:20,951 --> 01:25:22,536
You're a good boy.

2126
01:25:23,370 --> 01:25:25,454
Such a good boy.

2127
01:25:25,455 --> 01:25:27,665
I've learned a lot since Doug.

2128
01:25:27,666 --> 01:25:29,500
Sure, there are some bad people
in this world,

2129
01:25:29,501 --> 01:25:33,337
but even Bug would agree...
The good ones are out there.

2130
01:25:33,338 --> 01:25:35,506
You just got to keep
your eyes open.

2131
01:25:35,507 --> 01:25:37,049
Hey, kids.

2132
01:25:37,050 --> 01:25:38,551
I'll rip your fucking lungs
out through your mouth!

2133
01:25:38,552 --> 01:25:40,177
- Fuck you, mailman! Fuck you!
- Son of a bitch!

2134
01:25:40,178 --> 01:25:41,929
Oh, these guys have
a lot of energy, don't they?

2135
01:25:41,930 --> 01:25:43,639
- I'm-a eat your fucking nut sack...
- You're a bad person!

2136
01:25:43,640 --> 01:25:45,057
- Get out of here, you evil, evil little shit!
- Aw.

2137
01:25:45,058 --> 01:25:46,433
I'll give you
to the count of three,

2138
01:25:46,434 --> 01:25:48,227
and then I'm gonna jump
this fence

2139
01:25:48,228 --> 01:25:50,104
- and skull-fuck you to death!
- You stupid fucking evil devil!

2140
01:25:50,105 --> 01:25:51,856
- You're just as bad as your friend in the sky!
- One, two...

2141
01:25:51,857 --> 01:25:53,774
- Yeah, yeah, yeah. You smart.
- You fuckwad, go! Go!

2142
01:25:53,775 --> 01:25:55,067
- You smart.
- Go! Keep moving!

2143
01:25:55,068 --> 01:25:56,819
Smart move. Keep walking.

2144
01:25:56,820 --> 01:25:58,654
Don't even think about
coming back here tomorrow.

2145
01:25:58,655 --> 01:25:59,989
- Fuck off!
- Yeah, bitch.

2146
01:25:59,990 --> 01:26:01,574
You don't want to get
this guy angry.

2147
01:26:01,575 --> 01:26:04,159
I may be small,
but you have no idea

2148
01:26:04,160 --> 01:26:06,412
what I'm capable of.

2149
01:26:06,413 --> 01:26:08,664
Just ask Doug!

2150
01:26:08,665 --> 01:26:11,333
I ripped the guy's cock off!

2151
01:26:11,334 --> 01:26:14,003
♪ This is for the Gz
and this is for the hustlas ♪

2152
01:26:14,004 --> 01:26:16,505
♪ This is for the hustlas,
now back to the Gz ♪

2153
01:26:16,506 --> 01:26:19,091
♪ This is for the Gz
and this is for the hustlas ♪

2154
01:26:19,092 --> 01:26:21,468
♪ This is for the hustlas,
now back to the Gz ♪

2155
01:26:21,469 --> 01:26:23,762
♪ It's one-nine-nine-trey,
so let me just play ♪

2156
01:26:23,763 --> 01:26:25,472
♪ It's Snoop Dogg,
I'm on the mic ♪

2157
01:26:25,473 --> 01:26:27,141
♪ I'm back with Dr. Dre ♪

2158
01:26:27,142 --> 01:26:29,476
♪ But this time I'm-a hit
yo' ass with a touch ♪

2159
01:26:29,477 --> 01:26:32,104
♪ To leave motherfuckers
in a daze, fucked up ♪

2160
01:26:32,105 --> 01:26:34,607
♪ So sit back, relax,
new jacks get smacked ♪

2161
01:26:34,608 --> 01:26:37,276
♪ It's Snoop Doggy Dogg,
I'm at the top of the stack ♪

2162
01:26:37,277 --> 01:26:40,070
♪ I don't lack for a second
and I'm still checkin' ♪

2163
01:26:40,071 --> 01:26:42,698
♪ The dopest motherfucker
that ya hearin' on the record ♪

2164
01:26:42,699 --> 01:26:44,867
♪ It's me, ya see,
S-N-double-O-P ♪

2165
01:26:44,868 --> 01:26:47,161
♪ D-O-double-G-Y,
the D-O-double-G ♪

2166
01:26:47,162 --> 01:26:50,873
♪ I'm fly as a falcon
soarin' through the sky ♪

2167
01:26:50,874 --> 01:26:52,750
♪ And I'm high
till I dizzie, rizzide ♪

2168
01:26:52,751 --> 01:26:55,878
♪ So check it, I get busy,
I make your head dizzy ♪

2169
01:26:55,879 --> 01:26:58,422
♪ I blow up your mouth
like I was Dizzy Gillespie ♪

2170
01:26:58,423 --> 01:27:00,466
♪ I'm crazy,
you can't phase me ♪

2171
01:27:00,467 --> 01:27:02,134
♪ I'm the S, oh, yes,
I'm fresh ♪

2172
01:27:02,135 --> 01:27:03,636
♪ I don't fuck
with the stress ♪

2173
01:27:03,637 --> 01:27:06,305
♪ I'm all about the chronic,
bionic, ya see ♪

2174
01:27:06,306 --> 01:27:09,308
♪ Every single day, chillin'
with the D-O-double-Gs ♪

2175
01:27:09,309 --> 01:27:11,560
♪ P-O-U-N-D,
that's my clique, my crew ♪

2176
01:27:11,561 --> 01:27:13,979
♪ You fuck with us,
we gots to fuck you up ♪

2177
01:27:13,980 --> 01:27:15,981
♪ I thought you knew,
but yet and still ♪

2178
01:27:15,982 --> 01:27:19,401
♪ You wanna get real, now it's
time to peel, you say chill ♪

2179
01:27:19,402 --> 01:27:21,570
♪ And feel
the motherfuckin' realism ♪

2180
01:27:21,571 --> 01:27:23,405
♪ Snoop Doggy Dogg
is on the mic ♪

2181
01:27:23,406 --> 01:27:25,074
♪ I'm hittin' hard as steel ♪

2182
01:27:25,075 --> 01:27:27,660
♪ This is for the Gz
and this is for the hustlas ♪

2183
01:27:27,661 --> 01:27:30,412
♪ This is for the hustlas,
now back to the Gz ♪

2184
01:27:30,413 --> 01:27:32,915
♪ This is for the Gz
and this is for the hustlas ♪

2185
01:27:32,916 --> 01:27:35,334
♪ This is for the hustlas,
now back to the Gz ♪

2186
01:27:35,335 --> 01:27:38,170
♪ This is for the Gz
and this is for the hustlas ♪

2187
01:27:38,171 --> 01:27:40,756
♪ This is for the hustlas,
now back to the Gz ♪

2188
01:27:40,757 --> 01:27:43,342
♪ This is for the Gz
and this is for the hustlas ♪

2189
01:27:43,343 --> 01:27:46,179
♪ This is for the hustlas,
now back to the Gz. ♪

2190
01:27:52,018 --> 01:27:54,228
In addition to the multiple
facial lacerations

2191
01:27:54,229 --> 01:27:57,147
and the, uh, severe burn wounds,

2192
01:27:57,148 --> 01:28:00,109
we also discovered
an alarming amount of, um,

2193
01:28:00,110 --> 01:28:02,277
fecal bacteria in your system,

2194
01:28:02,278 --> 01:28:06,532
um, which I would imagine came
from the... the... the-the...

2195
01:28:06,533 --> 01:28:08,117
Dog shitting in my mouth?

2196
01:28:08,118 --> 01:28:09,953
- Right. Yeah.
- Yeah.

2197
01:28:10,787 --> 01:28:14,957
Um, ba-ba-ba...
checking the clipboard.

2198
01:28:14,958 --> 01:28:18,586
Uh, oh, yeah, we also, uh, uh,
couldn't reattach the penis.

2199
01:28:20,171 --> 01:28:23,590
Fuck...!

2200
01:28:23,591 --> 01:28:25,760
♪ ♪

2201
01:28:37,731 --> 01:28:39,607
♪ Jamie ♪

2202
01:28:40,650 --> 01:28:43,318
♪ Jamie Foxx ♪

2203
01:28:43,319 --> 01:28:45,196
♪ Will Ferrell ♪

2204
01:28:58,793 --> 01:29:01,754
♪ Dirty, dirty dog ♪

2205
01:29:01,755 --> 01:29:03,715
♪ I'm a stray ♪

2206
01:29:11,806 --> 01:29:13,892
♪ Quit doggin' me! ♪

2207
01:29:14,768 --> 01:29:16,770
♪ Quit doggin' me! ♪

2208
01:29:19,898 --> 01:29:22,441
♪ I'm a str-str-stray ♪

2209
01:29:22,442 --> 01:29:24,234
♪ I'm a stray. ♪

2210
01:29:24,235 --> 01:29:26,488
♪ ♪

2211
01:29:56,309 --> 01:29:58,436
♪ ♪

2212
01:30:28,341 --> 01:30:30,468
♪ ♪

2213
01:31:00,456 --> 01:31:02,584
♪ ♪

2214
01:31:32,488 --> 01:31:34,616
♪ ♪

2215
01:32:04,437 --> 01:32:06,564
♪ ♪

2216
01:32:36,469 --> 01:32:38,596
♪ ♪