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NARRATOR: Some people are born
into the wrong time and place.
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This was the American
frontier in 1882.
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A hard land for hard folk.
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Food was scarce,
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disease was rampant,
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and life was a daily
struggle for survival.
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Hell, this was Miss
America in 1880.
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Holy shit.
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To build a home and a life in
this harsh, unforgiving country
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required that a man be bold,
fearless, and tough as iron.
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The men who were
courageous and resilient
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were the men who prospered.
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But some men were just
big, giant pussies.
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(PANTING)
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Well, well.
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Surprised you showed up, Stark.
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Yeah, well, you said you
would kill my family
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and burn my house down
if I didn't, so...
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Draw.
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(ALBERT STUTTERING)
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Is there anything at
all that I can say
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to get you to call this off?
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You yellow, Stark?
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Oh, okay, well, that's a little
racist to our hardworking friends
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over here from the Far
East, right, guys?
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Draw, you son of a bitch!
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Look, I just feel like if we
can talk this out, you know,
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we can find a calm,
rational solution
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and maybe we even laugh
about it one day.
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I ain't in the mood
to laugh, Stark!
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Look, there's always
humor in any...
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Oh, hey, look. This will make
you laugh. Look at our shadows.
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It looks like our shadows are
about to kiss each other.
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Look at that.
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Oh, wait, watch this. Oh,
my God, Charlie. Oh, my God.
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Thank you! This is
so generous of you.
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(CHUCKLING) Oh, wow! This is...
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- What a terrific guy you are.
- (SNICKERING)
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We barely know each other, but, hey,
when it's right, it's right, huh?
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I'll give you a little tap on the
hat when I'm good to go, okay?
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Look, we're laughing, right?
We're laughing now.
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What were we even fighting about?
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I can't remember. Can you?
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(CROWD GASPS)
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Your goddamn sheep grazed
up half my ranch, Stark.
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That grass ain't never
gonna grow back!
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All right, look. How about this?
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I'll pay you the money
you lost, okay?
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Just give me two days to sell off
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a few of my sheep and
I'll get you the money.
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All right. Just two days.
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If I don't have that cash,
I'm coming after ya.
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Okay, great. Thank you so
much for your patience.
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I really appreciate it.
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And what a relief for
all these people
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who came out here
hoping that we would
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find an amicable
solution to this, huh?
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Aw, somebody shoot some fucker!
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I took a half-day
off work for this!
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Okay, I just want to point out
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that guy's an English
teacher at our school.
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(GROANS)
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(ALL GASP)
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Just a little taste.
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(CROWD MURMURING)
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ALBERT: I mean, that should
have been the end of it, right?
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I mean, I tell him
I'll pay him off,
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we go our separate
ways, and that's it.
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But, no, he shoots me
in the fucking leg.
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I mean, it's just a graze,
but come on, look at that.
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(EXHALES DEEPLY)
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What?
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You should have fought him.
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I should have fought him?
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You're serious.
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Louise! My God! The guy is one
of the best shots around.
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- I look like I have Parkinson's next to him.
- What is that?
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It's just another way God
mysteriously shows that He loves us.
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But, look, it would have been
suicide to fight that guy.
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Albert, I'm breaking up with you.
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What?
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Yeah. I'm sorry.
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I got shot today.
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I know.
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Wait, wait, wait. Hang on a sec.
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Louise, where is this coming from?
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Is this because of the gunfight?
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No, I've actually been feeling
this way for a while.
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You're a great guy. I just...
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I realized that
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I want something else.
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Something else? Louise, it's
been a year and a half!
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Look, I know I'm just a sheep
farmer, but I'm saving money...
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Yeah, but you're not even a
good sheep farmer, Albert.
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Your sheep are everywhere.
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The one thing a sheep
farmer has to do
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is keep all of his sheep
in one place, all right.
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I went to your farm the other day,
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and I saw one in the backyard,
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three way up on the ridge,
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two in the pond, and
one on the roof.
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Okay, that's Bridget, all right?
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She has a problem with retardation,
but she's full of love.
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Look, we're getting off
track here, all right?
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Why don't you just tell
me what the problem is
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and then maybe I can fix it?
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Maybe if I were older,
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the timing would be right.
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But people are living
to be 35 these days
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and a girl doesn't
have to just go off
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and get married right away.
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I just, I have to...
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I have to work on myself.
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Oh, my God.
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- You did not just say that.
- What?
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"I have to work on myself."
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Louise, that's the
oldest line in the book.
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You realize that.
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You know what, it's okay, though.
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It's all right. I know
why you're saying it.
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It's because you don't want to
tell me that I'm the problem.
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(SIGHS)
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Goodbye, Albert.
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Goodbye? Wait. Louise. Louise!
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I love you.
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I'm sorry.
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(MOANING)
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COWBOY: Yeah! Oh, come on, come on!
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RUTH: Yeah, yeah, yeah!
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COWBOY:
You like me fucking you, don't you?
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RUTH: I do. It's really terrific.
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- COWBOY: Yeah! Oh! Ah! Yeah!
- RUTH: Oh...
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(MOANING CONTINUES)
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Ah...
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Hi, Edward.
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Hi, Millie.
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You waiting for Ruth?
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Yeah, I got off work early, so I
thought I'd take her out for a picnic.
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(RUTH SCREAMS)
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It sounds like she's just
about done up there.
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RUTH: Shoot that dirty
cowboy cum all over my face!
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Do I look okay?
143
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Yeah, you look good.
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- You look good.
- Oh, good.
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Say, Edward, do you mind
if I ask you something?
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Uh, yeah, sure.
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You're okay with your girlfriend
screwing 15 different guys every day
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and getting paid to do it?
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Well, my job sucks, too.
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I know. But, I mean,
you repair shoes.
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(GASPS) Eddie!
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Oh, hi, sweetie.
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What are you doing here?
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EDWARD: Well, I got off work early
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and I thought we could go
for a walk by the stream.
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- (EXHALES) Oh.
- Oh...
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Oh, your breath is, uh...
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Ooh! Ooh.
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- I had to give a blowjob. Sorry.
- Oh, that's okay.
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It's okay. Here, I got
you some flowers.
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(GASPS)
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- They're beautiful!
- Yeah, come on.
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Don't I have the best
boyfriend, Millie?
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Honestly, I have no fucking idea.
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Bye!
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Oh, hey, Ruthie, Clyde Hodgkins
wanted to come by a little later on.
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What did he want?
168
00:09:52,008 --> 00:09:53,592
I think he wants anal.
169
00:09:53,593 --> 00:09:56,387
Oh, honey, we can afford to get
you that new belt for church!
170
00:09:56,388 --> 00:09:57,513
Oh, that would be great!
171
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I know!
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So, like, 5:30? Does that work?
173
00:10:00,392 --> 00:10:02,351
Ah, that should work. Yeah.
174
00:10:02,352 --> 00:10:04,812
Well, what time is his appointment?
175
00:10:04,813 --> 00:10:08,065
Uh, it's really not like a
dentist's office here, Edward.
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00:10:08,066 --> 00:10:09,733
You know, he'll just come by
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00:10:09,734 --> 00:10:12,861
when he feels like putting
his penis inside an asshole.
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00:10:12,862 --> 00:10:14,863
Yeah, so we'll just say 5:30.
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- (BOTH CHUCKLING)
- Okay.
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(BLEATING)
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ALBERT: Oh, shit.
182
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(BLEATING)
183
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(HORSE HUFFS)
184
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You're late.
185
00:10:48,023 --> 00:10:50,107
For what?
186
00:10:50,108 --> 00:10:52,601
Fair enough.
187
00:11:09,294 --> 00:11:11,787
EDWARD: Albert.
188
00:11:12,422 --> 00:11:13,547
Hey, guys.
189
00:11:13,548 --> 00:11:15,174
We heard about Louise.
190
00:11:15,175 --> 00:11:16,925
That's horrible.
191
00:11:16,926 --> 00:11:18,594
We're so sorry, Albert.
192
00:11:18,595 --> 00:11:21,129
Do you want to sit down?
193
00:11:21,306 --> 00:11:25,142
I'm good. I'm gonna
rest my asshole.
194
00:11:25,143 --> 00:11:28,604
I was just looking at these old
pictures of me and Louise.
195
00:11:28,605 --> 00:11:30,356
This is from the carnival.
196
00:11:30,357 --> 00:11:32,232
EDWARD: Oh, yeah.
197
00:11:32,233 --> 00:11:34,568
ALBERT: There's the town picnic.
198
00:11:34,569 --> 00:11:35,652
RUTH: Oh.
199
00:11:35,653 --> 00:11:37,988
ALBERT: This is the square dance.
200
00:11:37,989 --> 00:11:41,241
I almost wish you could
smile in photographs.
201
00:11:41,242 --> 00:11:43,619
Louise has such an amazing smile.
202
00:11:43,620 --> 00:11:45,788
- That'd be weird.
- Huh?
203
00:11:45,789 --> 00:11:47,790
Have you ever smiled
in a photograph?
204
00:11:47,791 --> 00:11:49,458
- No, have you?
- Oh, God, no.
205
00:11:49,459 --> 00:11:51,126
No, you'd look like
an insane person.
206
00:11:51,127 --> 00:11:53,295
But, it's just, you know,
I've been sitting here
207
00:11:53,296 --> 00:11:55,506
trying to figure out how the hell
208
00:11:55,507 --> 00:11:57,508
I could have screwed this up.
209
00:11:57,509 --> 00:11:59,468
I did everything for her.
210
00:11:59,469 --> 00:12:01,387
If she was happy, I was happy.
211
00:12:01,388 --> 00:12:03,514
That's all I cared about.
212
00:12:03,515 --> 00:12:08,644
(SIGHS) And she was the one
thing that made the shootings,
213
00:12:08,645 --> 00:12:11,647
and the diseases, and the wild
animals, and the Indians,
214
00:12:11,648 --> 00:12:16,101
and the general depressing
awfulness about the West
215
00:12:16,403 --> 00:12:18,854
bearable. (SIGHS)
216
00:12:19,739 --> 00:12:22,658
God, I love her so much.
217
00:12:22,659 --> 00:12:25,327
You're gonna make me cry.
218
00:12:25,328 --> 00:12:28,080
- Let's get fucked up.
- Yeah.
219
00:12:28,081 --> 00:12:30,657
(COUNTRY MUSIC PLAYING)
220
00:12:31,418 --> 00:12:33,994
(INDISTINCT CHATTER)
221
00:12:37,173 --> 00:12:38,716
So, what are you gonna do?
222
00:12:38,717 --> 00:12:39,842
Uh...
223
00:12:39,843 --> 00:12:41,468
I don't know what I'm gonna do.
224
00:12:41,469 --> 00:12:42,678
Commit suicide, maybe.
225
00:12:42,679 --> 00:12:45,139
Albert, I know everything
seems hopeless right now,
226
00:12:45,140 --> 00:12:48,767
but I promise you, there's
so much to live for.
227
00:12:48,768 --> 00:12:50,185
Really? Is there?
228
00:12:50,186 --> 00:12:53,522
What is there to live for on
the frontier in 1882? Huh?
229
00:12:53,523 --> 00:12:55,024
Look, let me tell you something.
230
00:12:55,025 --> 00:12:57,609
We live in a terrible
place and time.
231
00:12:57,610 --> 00:13:01,321
The American West is a disgusting,
awful, dirty, dangerous place.
232
00:13:01,322 --> 00:13:02,364
Look around you.
233
00:13:02,365 --> 00:13:05,034
Everything out here that's
not you wants to kill you.
234
00:13:05,035 --> 00:13:08,537
Outlaws, angry drunk people,
scorned hookers, hungry animals,
235
00:13:08,538 --> 00:13:12,041
diseases, major and minor
injuries, Indians, the weather.
236
00:13:12,042 --> 00:13:13,834
You can get killed just
going to the bathroom.
237
00:13:13,835 --> 00:13:16,879
I take my life in my hands every
time I walk out to my outhouse.
238
00:13:16,880 --> 00:13:18,881
There's fucking rattlesnakes
all in the grass out there.
239
00:13:18,882 --> 00:13:21,300
And even if I make it, you
know what can kill me?
240
00:13:21,301 --> 00:13:23,135
Cholera. You know cholera?
241
00:13:23,136 --> 00:13:25,220
- The Black Shit.
- The Black Shit.
242
00:13:25,221 --> 00:13:28,098
The latest offering in the frontier's
disease-of-the-month club.
243
00:13:28,099 --> 00:13:30,809
And even if you survive
all those things,
244
00:13:30,810 --> 00:13:32,019
you know what else can kill you?
245
00:13:32,020 --> 00:13:34,730
The fucking doctor.
The doctor can kill you.
246
00:13:34,731 --> 00:13:36,357
I had a cold a couple of
years ago. I went in there.
247
00:13:36,358 --> 00:13:37,566
You know what he
said to me? He goes,
248
00:13:37,567 --> 00:13:38,734
"Oh, you need an ear nail."
249
00:13:38,735 --> 00:13:40,361
A nail in my fucking ear.
250
00:13:40,362 --> 00:13:41,528
That is modern medicine for you.
251
00:13:41,529 --> 00:13:42,905
"Yeah, Doc, I have a fever of 102."
252
00:13:42,906 --> 00:13:44,573
"Oh, you need a donkey kickin'."
253
00:13:44,574 --> 00:13:47,826
You know our pastor has
shot two people? Our pastor.
254
00:13:47,827 --> 00:13:48,911
- No, no.
- No.
255
00:13:48,912 --> 00:13:50,371
Honest to God. Shot a guy in a duel
256
00:13:50,372 --> 00:13:53,082
and then went back and
killed the guy's teenage son
257
00:13:53,083 --> 00:13:55,042
because he was afraid he would
kill him out of revenge.
258
00:13:55,043 --> 00:13:56,585
Wait, how do you know that?
259
00:13:56,586 --> 00:13:59,254
Because he did a whole
fucking sermon about it!
260
00:13:59,255 --> 00:14:01,715
A lesson about seeing
things through.
261
00:14:01,716 --> 00:14:03,258
By the way, look at this.
See those guys over there?
262
00:14:03,259 --> 00:14:05,427
The guys who work in the silver
mines? See what they're eating?
263
00:14:05,428 --> 00:14:06,762
Ribs doused in hot sauce.
264
00:14:06,763 --> 00:14:09,223
They eat hot spicy foods
every meal of the day.
265
00:14:09,224 --> 00:14:10,349
Do you know why?
266
00:14:10,350 --> 00:14:12,434
Because their palates are so
completely fucking dulled
267
00:14:12,435 --> 00:14:15,187
from inhaling poisoned gas, 12
hours a day, down in the mines.
268
00:14:15,188 --> 00:14:16,563
That's all they can taste.
269
00:14:16,564 --> 00:14:18,190
You know what that kind of
diet does to your guts?
270
00:14:18,191 --> 00:14:20,943
Constipation, cramps,
dyspepsia, liver disease,
271
00:14:20,944 --> 00:14:23,612
kidney disease, hemorrhoids,
bowel inflammation.
272
00:14:23,613 --> 00:14:26,899
They literally die
from their own farts.
273
00:14:26,908 --> 00:14:29,443
(FARTS)
274
00:14:30,578 --> 00:14:32,538
And, oh, oh, you want
to see more death?
275
00:14:32,539 --> 00:14:36,375
All we got to do is get up
and walk out the front door.
276
00:14:36,376 --> 00:14:37,835
That is our mayor.
277
00:14:37,836 --> 00:14:38,919
He is dead.
278
00:14:38,920 --> 00:14:41,130
He has been lying there,
dead, for three days.
279
00:14:41,131 --> 00:14:42,631
No one has done a thing.
280
00:14:42,632 --> 00:14:45,592
Not moved him, not
looked into his death,
281
00:14:45,593 --> 00:14:47,803
not even replaced him with
a temporary appointee.
282
00:14:47,804 --> 00:14:51,640
For the last three days, the
highest-ranking official in our town
283
00:14:51,641 --> 00:14:53,225
has been a dead guy.
284
00:14:53,226 --> 00:14:55,644
Oh! Look at that! Look at that!
285
00:14:55,645 --> 00:14:59,565
Wolves are dragging the body
away as if to illustrate my point!
286
00:14:59,566 --> 00:15:01,316
Bye! Bye, Mr. Mayor!
287
00:15:01,317 --> 00:15:03,652
Bye! Have fun becoming wolf shit!
Bye!
288
00:15:03,653 --> 00:15:04,987
God!
289
00:15:04,988 --> 00:15:07,406
That, my friends, is
the American West.
290
00:15:07,407 --> 00:15:11,660
A disgusting, awful, dirty cesspool
of despair, and fuck all of it.
291
00:15:11,661 --> 00:15:12,828
Why don't you shut up?
292
00:15:12,829 --> 00:15:15,030
You shut up!
293
00:15:19,377 --> 00:15:20,502
Mmm, mmm...
294
00:15:20,503 --> 00:15:23,464
Ow! Ruth. Jesus Christ.
295
00:15:23,465 --> 00:15:25,591
- Stop it.
- Okay, fine.
296
00:15:25,592 --> 00:15:28,844
At least have Dr. Harper
take a look at it tomorrow.
297
00:15:28,845 --> 00:15:30,095
(LAUGHING SARCASTICALLY)
298
00:15:30,096 --> 00:15:32,681
If you could hear
yourself right now.
299
00:15:32,682 --> 00:15:34,516
You know what's gonna happen
if I go to Dr. Harper
300
00:15:34,517 --> 00:15:37,603
and I say, "Take a look at that"?
301
00:15:37,604 --> 00:15:40,272
He's gonna say,
"Oh, that looks like it hurts.
302
00:15:40,273 --> 00:15:42,858
"Let me give you a blue jay
to peck out the blood."
303
00:15:42,859 --> 00:15:44,610
Maybe you should...
304
00:15:44,611 --> 00:15:48,146
I don't know, maybe you
should try to talk to Louise.
305
00:15:49,866 --> 00:15:51,700
- That's a great idea.
- Yeah?
306
00:15:51,701 --> 00:15:54,370
- That's the jackpot. That's the jackpot!
- Huh?
307
00:15:54,371 --> 00:15:56,372
- I still got it!
- Okay.
308
00:15:56,373 --> 00:15:58,540
I have good ideas sometimes.
309
00:15:58,541 --> 00:16:00,876
I didn't mean now!
310
00:16:00,877 --> 00:16:05,038
Hey, hey, dude, you really
shouldn't drink and horse.
311
00:16:06,216 --> 00:16:09,376
(GRUNTING)
312
00:16:13,390 --> 00:16:18,268
No. No. No. No. No. No.
313
00:16:18,269 --> 00:16:20,721
(GRUNTING)
314
00:16:25,694 --> 00:16:28,153
Yeah, there you... Okay.
315
00:16:28,154 --> 00:16:30,647
(SNORING)
316
00:16:56,891 --> 00:17:00,102
Okay, Curtis. Curtis, buddy,
317
00:17:00,103 --> 00:17:03,605
I'm gonna be right back.
I'll be right back, okay?
318
00:17:03,606 --> 00:17:05,607
Or not! (LAUGHS)
319
00:17:05,608 --> 00:17:09,144
No, that's being too ambitious.
320
00:17:16,578 --> 00:17:18,203
Hey. Hey.
321
00:17:18,204 --> 00:17:20,122
Albert, what the
hell are you doing?
322
00:17:20,123 --> 00:17:21,415
Louise, we need to talk.
323
00:17:21,416 --> 00:17:23,459
- It's 1:30 in the morning.
- We need to talk.
324
00:17:23,460 --> 00:17:25,586
- And we need to talk tonight.
- What happened to your face?
325
00:17:25,587 --> 00:17:29,965
I got in a fight with an animal
that I could not identify.
326
00:17:29,966 --> 00:17:31,050
Okay, you're drunk.
327
00:17:31,051 --> 00:17:33,469
I'm a smucks-dinnin' drunk.
328
00:17:33,470 --> 00:17:35,804
I don't know what you want
from me, but it's late.
329
00:17:35,805 --> 00:17:36,930
- I gotta go.
- Louise! Louise!
330
00:17:36,931 --> 00:17:39,308
Louise, please, listen to me.
I love you, okay?
331
00:17:39,309 --> 00:17:40,809
I love you.
332
00:17:40,810 --> 00:17:43,145
And I just think if
we talked this out
333
00:17:43,146 --> 00:17:45,105
that we can get
somewhere and fix it.
334
00:17:45,106 --> 00:17:47,316
Look, Albert, you gotta go.
335
00:17:47,317 --> 00:17:50,861
I'm sure you're right for
somebody else, just not for me.
336
00:17:50,862 --> 00:17:52,488
Okay?
337
00:17:52,489 --> 00:17:53,655
Good night.
338
00:17:53,656 --> 00:17:56,275
Wait, let me just touch you.
339
00:18:04,417 --> 00:18:07,744
You're being a fucking jerk!
340
00:18:08,838 --> 00:18:12,124
Okay, I'll talk to you tomorrow.
341
00:18:12,467 --> 00:18:15,135
You know what?
I heard you fart once.
342
00:18:15,136 --> 00:18:17,346
And it went...
(IMITATING FART NOISE)
343
00:18:17,347 --> 00:18:20,683
And it was a sharp one.
344
00:18:20,684 --> 00:18:22,935
A little sharpie poop-toot.
345
00:18:22,936 --> 00:18:24,561
And I heard...
346
00:18:24,562 --> 00:18:26,805
(HORSE NEIGHS)
347
00:18:31,986 --> 00:18:34,613
MAN: You know what I'm gonna
get with this gold, Plugger?
348
00:18:34,614 --> 00:18:35,864
You know what I'm gonna get you?
349
00:18:35,865 --> 00:18:39,827
I'm gonna get you a big old
stack of fresh-cut steaks.
350
00:18:39,828 --> 00:18:41,161
(CHUCKLING) I bet you'd like that.
351
00:18:41,162 --> 00:18:42,413
(BARKING)
352
00:18:42,414 --> 00:18:43,872
What? What's the matter with...
353
00:18:43,873 --> 00:18:45,082
Settle down, boy.
354
00:18:45,083 --> 00:18:46,208
(BARKING CONTINUES)
355
00:18:46,209 --> 00:18:48,711
Come on, boy, hey!
Quiet down, Plugger!
356
00:18:48,712 --> 00:18:51,914
Whoa, mule!
357
00:18:59,848 --> 00:19:02,132
(HORSES NEIGHING)
358
00:19:03,018 --> 00:19:04,101
Howdy, folks.
359
00:19:04,102 --> 00:19:05,185
Howdy.
360
00:19:05,186 --> 00:19:07,229
What can I do for you fellas?
361
00:19:07,230 --> 00:19:09,440
Well, we're riding through
to Sherman Creek.
362
00:19:09,441 --> 00:19:12,526
Be obliged if you could
tell us the shortest route.
363
00:19:12,527 --> 00:19:15,863
Oh, yeah, I can help you with that.
(GRUNTS)
364
00:19:15,864 --> 00:19:18,073
I got a map right here.
365
00:19:18,074 --> 00:19:19,241
Yes, sir.
366
00:19:19,242 --> 00:19:21,076
Oh.
367
00:19:21,077 --> 00:19:23,954
You're on the main road now.
368
00:19:23,955 --> 00:19:27,166
And the main road goes
right through Bullhead
369
00:19:27,167 --> 00:19:29,793
and straight through
to Sherman Creek.
370
00:19:29,794 --> 00:19:32,212
But if you want the quickest way,
371
00:19:32,213 --> 00:19:34,423
I'd take Bilbee Pass.
372
00:19:34,424 --> 00:19:38,469
Safer, too. Less chance
of bandits and such.
373
00:19:38,470 --> 00:19:39,720
Thank you.
374
00:19:39,721 --> 00:19:42,297
- You can keep that.
- Oh.
375
00:19:43,725 --> 00:19:46,477
Uh, one more thing
you might do for us.
376
00:19:46,478 --> 00:19:47,603
What's that?
377
00:19:47,604 --> 00:19:50,806
You could show us the gold.
378
00:19:51,149 --> 00:19:53,108
Gold? (CHUCKLES NERVOUSLY)
379
00:19:53,109 --> 00:19:55,486
I ain't got no gold.
380
00:19:55,487 --> 00:19:57,237
I wish.
381
00:19:57,238 --> 00:20:01,992
Been prospecting up there, but
that stream's about panned out.
382
00:20:01,993 --> 00:20:04,661
Old Plugger and I done give it up.
383
00:20:04,662 --> 00:20:07,039
We're going on back into town.
384
00:20:07,040 --> 00:20:11,043
(CHUCKLES) Aye. You see,
that's... That's just it.
385
00:20:11,044 --> 00:20:13,921
You're heading back to town
in the middle of the day.
386
00:20:13,922 --> 00:20:18,333
A prospector only does that
when he's found gold to sell.
387
00:20:18,510 --> 00:20:19,843
Show it to me.
388
00:20:19,844 --> 00:20:22,054
No, I swear to you, mister.
389
00:20:22,055 --> 00:20:24,306
I ain't got no gold.
390
00:20:24,307 --> 00:20:28,310
We're just going into
town to get some...
391
00:20:28,311 --> 00:20:30,479
Whoa, whoa, whoa...
392
00:20:30,480 --> 00:20:34,400
- Hold on, let me think here a minute.
- You do that.
393
00:20:34,401 --> 00:20:38,395
I might just have a
little bit of gold.
394
00:20:39,239 --> 00:20:41,990
Yeah, here it is.
I forgot all about it.
395
00:20:41,991 --> 00:20:44,243
Here, take it.
396
00:20:44,244 --> 00:20:46,737
Pick up your gun.
397
00:20:46,830 --> 00:20:47,913
What?
398
00:20:47,914 --> 00:20:51,500
Well, I'm not just gonna take
your gold. That'd be stealing.
399
00:20:51,501 --> 00:20:54,503
You know what, old timer?
We'll shoot for it.
400
00:20:54,504 --> 00:20:56,046
- Clinch.
- Shut up.
401
00:20:56,047 --> 00:20:58,424
(CLEARS THROAT)
You just take the gold, okay?
402
00:20:58,425 --> 00:21:00,843
Only a thief would do that.
403
00:21:00,844 --> 00:21:02,886
Are you calling me a
thief, old timer?
404
00:21:02,887 --> 00:21:04,263
No, no, no!
405
00:21:04,264 --> 00:21:07,758
Then pick up your gun.
406
00:21:13,023 --> 00:21:14,690
That's it.
407
00:21:14,691 --> 00:21:17,226
Now point it at me.
408
00:21:25,035 --> 00:21:27,828
We shoot on three.
409
00:21:27,829 --> 00:21:30,122
(GUN CLICKS)
410
00:21:30,123 --> 00:21:32,407
One.
411
00:21:33,001 --> 00:21:35,244
Two.
412
00:21:37,213 --> 00:21:39,173
God damn it, Clinch!
413
00:21:39,174 --> 00:21:40,549
You didn't have to shoot him!
414
00:21:40,550 --> 00:21:42,092
I know I didn't have
to, sweetheart.
415
00:21:42,093 --> 00:21:44,636
He would've given you the gold!
416
00:21:44,637 --> 00:21:47,973
The point is I had
to ask him twice.
417
00:21:47,974 --> 00:21:49,641
I'm a busy man with a schedule.
418
00:21:49,642 --> 00:21:51,435
You're a son of a bitch
is what you are.
419
00:21:51,436 --> 00:21:52,770
(GASPS)
420
00:21:52,771 --> 00:21:56,106
Don't you ever say that
to me in front of my men.
421
00:21:56,107 --> 00:21:58,275
A man's wife will respect him.
422
00:21:58,276 --> 00:22:01,979
Now, let's try that again.
423
00:22:02,322 --> 00:22:03,572
Oh, my God, I love you.
424
00:22:03,573 --> 00:22:06,575
I'm, like, the luckiest girl
ever in the history of girls.
425
00:22:06,576 --> 00:22:11,113
That's it. Now, mount up.
426
00:22:12,415 --> 00:22:14,950
Hey, Clinch.
427
00:22:15,085 --> 00:22:16,752
Take a look.
428
00:22:16,753 --> 00:22:19,254
You'd lose half a day
going through Bullhead.
429
00:22:19,255 --> 00:22:22,257
CLINCH: You, Enoch and
Jordy will ride with me.
430
00:22:22,258 --> 00:22:25,427
We'll take Bilbee Pass
to Sherman Creek Trail.
431
00:22:25,428 --> 00:22:27,596
And make no mistake about the
kind of heat we're going to draw
432
00:22:27,597 --> 00:22:29,431
after we take that stage.
433
00:22:29,432 --> 00:22:32,184
Anna, I'm gonna keep
you out of harm's way.
434
00:22:32,185 --> 00:22:34,603
Lewis, you take Anna and ride east
435
00:22:34,604 --> 00:22:37,356
and hole up here in, uh, Old Stump.
436
00:22:37,357 --> 00:22:38,440
You got that?
437
00:22:38,441 --> 00:22:40,192
We'll let things cool
438
00:22:40,193 --> 00:22:43,979
for a wee bit and then we'll
come for you in 12 days.
439
00:22:45,448 --> 00:22:47,816
(URGES HORSE)
440
00:22:48,284 --> 00:22:50,485
(HORSE NEIGHS)
441
00:22:51,579 --> 00:22:53,956
(WHIMPERING)
442
00:22:53,957 --> 00:22:56,241
Come on, boy.
443
00:22:56,710 --> 00:22:59,378
Come on, Plugger. Come on! Yeah!
444
00:22:59,379 --> 00:23:01,130
Good boy! Let's go!
445
00:23:01,131 --> 00:23:03,999
LEWIS: Oh, Jesus Christ!
446
00:23:07,554 --> 00:23:10,589
(BLEATING)
447
00:23:14,352 --> 00:23:17,521
Well, look who's up at
2:00 in the afternoon.
448
00:23:17,522 --> 00:23:18,981
(LAUGHS SARCASTICALLY)
449
00:23:18,982 --> 00:23:23,352
There's still some pig ass and
sweet cream there if you want it.
450
00:23:23,403 --> 00:23:25,529
(FLY BUZZING)
451
00:23:25,530 --> 00:23:27,740
I'm gonna use the outhouse. Um...
452
00:23:27,741 --> 00:23:30,993
If I die out there, will you
guys just do me one favor?
453
00:23:30,994 --> 00:23:33,912
Just once, I want you
to switch seats.
454
00:23:33,913 --> 00:23:35,080
Fuck off.
455
00:23:35,081 --> 00:23:37,333
Okay.
456
00:23:37,334 --> 00:23:38,542
Oh.
457
00:23:38,543 --> 00:23:41,086
Ah, Edward, hey. What's going on?
458
00:23:41,087 --> 00:23:44,214
Oh, my God. Albert,
you look terrible!
459
00:23:44,215 --> 00:23:46,592
Oh, wow, there's that
confidence boost I need.
460
00:23:46,593 --> 00:23:48,344
Thanks a lot. How you doing, buddy?
461
00:23:48,345 --> 00:23:50,262
Well, honestly, I'm a
little worried about you.
462
00:23:50,263 --> 00:23:52,181
I haven't seen you in
town in a week and a half
463
00:23:52,182 --> 00:23:55,517
and, you know, it seems like you're
just staying in and sleeping all day.
464
00:23:55,518 --> 00:23:59,104
(STAMMERING) No, I don't
stay home all day. I go out.
465
00:23:59,105 --> 00:24:00,356
You know what I did on Tuesday?
466
00:24:00,357 --> 00:24:02,191
I went out to Charlie
Blanche's ranch
467
00:24:02,192 --> 00:24:03,359
and I paid him the money I owe him
468
00:24:03,360 --> 00:24:05,110
so he won't shoot me
in the fucking face.
469
00:24:05,111 --> 00:24:06,445
I did that. That's going out.
470
00:24:06,446 --> 00:24:08,238
Well, that's not really what
I'm talking about. (CHUCKLES)
471
00:24:08,239 --> 00:24:09,907
Okay, look. Here's the
truth, all right?
472
00:24:09,908 --> 00:24:12,117
I just feel like I need to
stay here with my parents.
473
00:24:12,118 --> 00:24:14,161
They're not gonna be
around much longer
474
00:24:14,162 --> 00:24:17,539
and I just want to be able to give
back all the love and affection
475
00:24:17,540 --> 00:24:19,375
that I got growing up.
476
00:24:19,376 --> 00:24:20,626
You know? Right, guys?
477
00:24:20,627 --> 00:24:21,877
(FARTS) Ow!
478
00:24:21,878 --> 00:24:23,754
Oh, you getting the fart
needles again, Dad?
479
00:24:23,755 --> 00:24:25,506
Never mind what I'm getting!
480
00:24:25,507 --> 00:24:28,884
(LAUGHING SARCASTICALLY)
I love him so much!
481
00:24:28,885 --> 00:24:32,137
Albert, I know you're taking this
breakup really hard, and I understand,
482
00:24:32,138 --> 00:24:33,722
but you got to get
out of this funk.
483
00:24:33,723 --> 00:24:36,767
I mean, you haven't shorn
your sheep in weeks.
484
00:24:36,768 --> 00:24:39,261
(BLEATING)
485
00:24:40,063 --> 00:24:41,772
Look, you don't know what
this is like, all right.
486
00:24:41,773 --> 00:24:44,316
With all due respect, you have no
fucking clue what this is like.
487
00:24:44,317 --> 00:24:46,026
All right? You're going
home every night
488
00:24:46,027 --> 00:24:47,653
to your girlfriend who loves you.
489
00:24:47,654 --> 00:24:49,947
- You're having sex with her, and you...
- Ah...
490
00:24:49,948 --> 00:24:54,743
No, Ruth and I have...
We've never done that.
491
00:24:54,744 --> 00:24:56,954
What do you mean you've...
492
00:24:56,955 --> 00:24:59,415
You've never had sex with Ruth?
493
00:24:59,416 --> 00:25:02,751
Yeah. No, no. Yeah.
494
00:25:02,752 --> 00:25:06,463
Wait, doesn't she have sex with, like,
10 guys every day at the whorehouse?
495
00:25:06,464 --> 00:25:08,757
On a slow day, yeah.
496
00:25:08,758 --> 00:25:10,259
But you guys have never had sex?
497
00:25:10,260 --> 00:25:13,929
No. No, Ruth wants to wait
until we get married.
498
00:25:13,930 --> 00:25:16,432
You know, she's a
Christian and so am I,
499
00:25:16,433 --> 00:25:20,394
and we want to save ourselves
for our wedding night.
500
00:25:20,395 --> 00:25:22,896
Edward, have you... Have you
ever had sex with anyone?
501
00:25:22,897 --> 00:25:24,815
Well, there was some shit with
my uncle, but that was...
502
00:25:24,816 --> 00:25:28,944
You know, it's really hard
to remember all that stuff.
503
00:25:28,945 --> 00:25:30,320
You know, yeah, you're right.
504
00:25:30,321 --> 00:25:31,405
Things could be a lot worse.
505
00:25:31,406 --> 00:25:32,489
Yeah.
506
00:25:32,490 --> 00:25:35,200
Um, I'll get out, I'll meet
some people. Yeah, thanks.
507
00:25:35,201 --> 00:25:36,577
- Okay.
- (GEORGE FARTS)
508
00:25:36,578 --> 00:25:40,614
Ow! That came out of my penis!
509
00:25:42,584 --> 00:25:45,169
EDWARD: Man, I see kids everywhere
with those stick hoops lately.
510
00:25:45,170 --> 00:25:47,254
I know. Me, too.
511
00:25:47,255 --> 00:25:48,839
It's got to be bad for
their brains, right?
512
00:25:48,840 --> 00:25:50,466
Yeah, it stunts their
attention span.
513
00:25:50,467 --> 00:25:51,717
I read an article in the paper.
514
00:25:51,718 --> 00:25:54,219
Yeah, I saw that. It's like
they lose the power to innovate
515
00:25:54,220 --> 00:25:55,888
because they're staring at
the stick hoop all day.
516
00:25:55,889 --> 00:25:57,097
Yep.
517
00:25:57,098 --> 00:25:59,558
Oh, by the way, they're delivering
the town's ice shipment today.
518
00:25:59,559 --> 00:26:00,726
You want to go watch?
519
00:26:00,727 --> 00:26:02,227
- Oh, yeah, that'd be fun.
- Yeah!
520
00:26:02,228 --> 00:26:04,396
Yeah. It's always a thrill
when you get to see
521
00:26:04,397 --> 00:26:06,148
that much ice all in one place.
522
00:26:06,149 --> 00:26:07,816
Yeah, I think so, too.
I'm really excited.
523
00:26:07,817 --> 00:26:10,561
Edward, Edward, look, look.
524
00:26:14,032 --> 00:26:16,400
Holy shit.
525
00:26:17,118 --> 00:26:18,160
Fucking Foy.
526
00:26:18,161 --> 00:26:20,120
She told me she didn't
want to see anybody.
527
00:26:20,121 --> 00:26:22,081
She told me she had
to work on herself.
528
00:26:22,082 --> 00:26:23,540
Look at that.
529
00:26:23,541 --> 00:26:25,376
Oh, my God. Fucking Foy!
530
00:26:25,377 --> 00:26:26,960
The owner of the Moustachery.
531
00:26:26,961 --> 00:26:28,796
Oh, look at that. He's kissing her.
532
00:26:28,797 --> 00:26:30,464
- EDWARD: He's frenching her.
- ALBERT: Fucking Foy!
533
00:26:30,465 --> 00:26:32,132
Maybe you should grow a moustache.
534
00:26:32,133 --> 00:26:33,717
No, I can't afford it.
535
00:26:33,718 --> 00:26:36,220
The creams, the waxes, the lotions.
536
00:26:36,221 --> 00:26:37,596
I don't have the money.
537
00:26:37,597 --> 00:26:38,681
Fucking Foy!
538
00:26:38,682 --> 00:26:40,599
Hey, Albert, maybe we
should just go to church.
539
00:26:40,600 --> 00:26:41,975
It'll make you feel a lot better.
540
00:26:41,976 --> 00:26:43,018
Church is not gonna...
541
00:26:43,019 --> 00:26:45,804
Oh, hey, look! It's the ice!
542
00:26:46,439 --> 00:26:47,523
(CHUCKLES)
543
00:26:47,524 --> 00:26:48,941
Why is it so big?
544
00:26:48,942 --> 00:26:50,526
So it doesn't melt.
545
00:26:50,527 --> 00:26:51,610
EDWARD: Oh.
546
00:26:51,611 --> 00:26:53,195
That's so neat.
547
00:26:53,196 --> 00:26:54,822
I know. It's actually really
interesting how they do it.
548
00:26:54,823 --> 00:26:57,324
It's this one company out in Boston
549
00:26:57,325 --> 00:26:59,993
that basically cuts
it in big blocks
550
00:26:59,994 --> 00:27:03,539
from frozen lakes and ponds,
and they just ship it all over the...
551
00:27:03,540 --> 00:27:04,790
BOTH: Oh! Oh...
552
00:27:04,791 --> 00:27:07,209
Oh, my God! Oh, my God!
553
00:27:07,210 --> 00:27:09,920
That went south so fast!
554
00:27:09,921 --> 00:27:13,165
Oh! Oh!
555
00:27:13,883 --> 00:27:16,802
WILSON:
And make no mistake, my children.
556
00:27:16,803 --> 00:27:21,974
There shall be swift and righteous
justice on all free grazers.
557
00:27:21,975 --> 00:27:24,727
No more shall they nibble wantonly
558
00:27:24,728 --> 00:27:26,603
at the teat of our coffers.
559
00:27:26,604 --> 00:27:29,440
And that's just exactly
like that part in the Bible
560
00:27:29,441 --> 00:27:31,692
that applies to that situation.
561
00:27:31,693 --> 00:27:35,112
I would also like to
offer a heartfelt prayer
562
00:27:35,113 --> 00:27:37,239
to the family of James Addison,
563
00:27:37,240 --> 00:27:39,158
who was killed this morning
564
00:27:39,159 --> 00:27:40,826
while unloading the ice shipment.
565
00:27:40,827 --> 00:27:44,038
James, we will think of
you lovingly this July
566
00:27:44,039 --> 00:27:46,582
as we sip the cold summer beverages
567
00:27:46,583 --> 00:27:48,292
for which you gave your life.
568
00:27:48,293 --> 00:27:50,627
(WHISPERING) They're still
gonna use the fucking ice.
569
00:27:50,628 --> 00:27:52,755
Now, before we end this
morning's service,
570
00:27:52,756 --> 00:27:56,633
I would like to welcome two
new members to our community.
571
00:27:56,634 --> 00:27:59,595
Lewis Barnes and his sister, Anna.
572
00:27:59,596 --> 00:28:01,472
They've just moved
here to Old Stump
573
00:28:01,473 --> 00:28:03,432
and they plan to build a farm.
574
00:28:03,433 --> 00:28:05,351
And we wish them all the luck.
575
00:28:05,352 --> 00:28:07,811
Well, that concludes
today's service.
576
00:28:07,812 --> 00:28:09,772
So, may God bless you
for another week
577
00:28:09,773 --> 00:28:12,441
and there is a mountain
lion warning in effect.
578
00:28:12,442 --> 00:28:15,018
(INDISTINCT CONVERSATIONS)
579
00:28:27,290 --> 00:28:28,374
Hi.
580
00:28:28,375 --> 00:28:29,792
Hey, you.
581
00:28:29,793 --> 00:28:31,460
- So, the fair's coming up...
- Mmm?
582
00:28:31,461 --> 00:28:35,297
and I was thinking that we
could go dress shopping later.
583
00:28:35,298 --> 00:28:37,424
I was thinking you
need a new dress.
584
00:28:37,425 --> 00:28:39,301
(GASPS) Something expensive?
585
00:28:39,302 --> 00:28:40,969
Stupidly expensive!
586
00:28:40,970 --> 00:28:43,547
Okay. (CHUCKLES)
587
00:28:53,233 --> 00:28:54,566
Oh, Jesus. Wow.
588
00:28:54,567 --> 00:28:56,819
Hi, Albert.
589
00:28:56,820 --> 00:28:58,570
Hello.
590
00:28:58,571 --> 00:29:02,065
What's up, kiddo? Never
seen you in here before.
591
00:29:02,492 --> 00:29:04,201
Just browsing.
592
00:29:04,202 --> 00:29:05,869
Yeah.
593
00:29:05,870 --> 00:29:08,497
You don't have a moustache, though.
594
00:29:08,498 --> 00:29:11,500
No, I know. I was thinking
about growing one.
595
00:29:11,501 --> 00:29:12,584
I'm sorry, I can't...
596
00:29:12,585 --> 00:29:15,170
- I said I was thinking about growing one.
- Oh.
597
00:29:15,171 --> 00:29:18,507
Excuse me, I have to
use the powder room.
598
00:29:18,508 --> 00:29:22,886
And just what kind of moustache
are you looking to grow?
599
00:29:22,887 --> 00:29:25,514
Um, a big one.
600
00:29:25,515 --> 00:29:27,516
Like one of those
ones that goes down
601
00:29:27,517 --> 00:29:29,560
along the side of my mouth,
602
00:29:29,561 --> 00:29:32,980
and then goes up the
edge of my jaw,
603
00:29:32,981 --> 00:29:36,525
and then becomes my sideburns,
604
00:29:36,526 --> 00:29:39,486
and then becomes my hair.
605
00:29:39,487 --> 00:29:40,654
A Möbius moustache.
606
00:29:40,655 --> 00:29:43,490
Möbius moustache, that's the one.
607
00:29:43,491 --> 00:29:45,701
Yeah. Um...
608
00:29:45,702 --> 00:29:47,619
You should know that
kind of moustache
609
00:29:47,620 --> 00:29:50,831
is a very costly facial accessory.
610
00:29:50,832 --> 00:29:51,999
Yeah, I know that.
611
00:29:52,000 --> 00:29:54,418
Well, you're a sheep farmer.
612
00:29:54,419 --> 00:29:56,628
(SCOFFS)
613
00:29:56,629 --> 00:29:58,881
Let me ask you something. You feel
good about what you're doing?
614
00:29:58,882 --> 00:30:00,090
What exactly am I doing?
615
00:30:00,091 --> 00:30:01,925
Stealing a guy's girlfriend.
That's what you're doing.
616
00:30:01,926 --> 00:30:03,052
You feel good about that?
617
00:30:03,053 --> 00:30:05,054
Hey, Louise dumped you, my friend.
618
00:30:05,055 --> 00:30:08,057
It's not my fault she wanted
someone with more to offer.
619
00:30:08,058 --> 00:30:10,351
I can give her a lavish home.
620
00:30:10,352 --> 00:30:13,896
Warm blankets, wrapped candies.
621
00:30:13,897 --> 00:30:15,856
Can you say the same, Albert?
622
00:30:15,857 --> 00:30:19,360
Can you give Louise
wrapped candies?
623
00:30:19,361 --> 00:30:20,944
You know what? Fuck you, man.
624
00:30:20,945 --> 00:30:24,782
Yeah, that's what she's doing.
(CLICKS TONGUE)
625
00:30:24,783 --> 00:30:27,276
(SIGHS)
626
00:30:32,248 --> 00:30:34,950
(INDISTINCT CHATTER)
627
00:30:54,062 --> 00:30:55,270
Oh, hey, sweetie.
628
00:30:55,271 --> 00:30:56,438
Hi!
629
00:30:56,439 --> 00:30:58,107
- Hi, Mark.
- Hey, Ed.
630
00:30:58,108 --> 00:31:00,609
Wow! What a long day!
631
00:31:00,610 --> 00:31:01,819
Oh, what happened?
632
00:31:01,820 --> 00:31:06,365
Oh, gosh! Well, like, this one
man wanted me to smoke a cigar
633
00:31:06,366 --> 00:31:09,702
and then ash on his balls
while I'm jerking him off,
634
00:31:09,703 --> 00:31:12,788
and I'm like, "What?
Can I do all that?"
635
00:31:12,789 --> 00:31:14,373
(LAUGHING)
636
00:31:14,374 --> 00:31:16,709
Yeah.
637
00:31:16,710 --> 00:31:19,128
You know, uh, Ruth,
I've been thinking.
638
00:31:19,129 --> 00:31:21,496
About what?
639
00:31:21,631 --> 00:31:23,132
Well, I love you.
640
00:31:23,133 --> 00:31:25,050
Well, I love you, too.
641
00:31:25,051 --> 00:31:28,470
And we've been together
for a long time.
642
00:31:28,471 --> 00:31:29,596
Wh...
643
00:31:29,597 --> 00:31:34,893
What do you think about us
spending the night together?
644
00:31:34,894 --> 00:31:38,147
You mean having sex?
645
00:31:38,148 --> 00:31:39,898
Maybe not right away, you know?
646
00:31:39,899 --> 00:31:42,109
We could maybe lie together
for the first couple of times
647
00:31:42,110 --> 00:31:43,736
and see how it feels,
and then go from there.
648
00:31:43,737 --> 00:31:45,404
But, Eddie, we're Christians.
649
00:31:45,405 --> 00:31:46,989
I know we're Christians
650
00:31:46,990 --> 00:31:50,325
and I want to do the correct
thing in the eyes of the Lord.
651
00:31:50,326 --> 00:31:53,328
But if we really do
love each other,
652
00:31:53,329 --> 00:31:55,581
don't you think God
would be okay with it?
653
00:31:55,582 --> 00:31:58,000
I don't know.
654
00:31:58,001 --> 00:32:01,170
I mean, you're talking about
pre-marital relations.
655
00:32:01,171 --> 00:32:04,673
Oh! You've got a little thing
right here. I'll get it.
656
00:32:04,674 --> 00:32:07,468
Oops. Oopsie.
657
00:32:07,469 --> 00:32:09,511
- Thank you.
- Oh.
658
00:32:09,512 --> 00:32:10,637
That's it, I'm out.
659
00:32:10,638 --> 00:32:11,930
What?
660
00:32:11,931 --> 00:32:15,142
I'm done. I'm leaving.
I'm going to San Francisco.
661
00:32:15,143 --> 00:32:17,144
What, are you serious?
Because of Louise?
662
00:32:17,145 --> 00:32:20,856
Yes, I'm serious. And, yes,
it is because of Louise.
663
00:32:20,857 --> 00:32:22,191
I don't know how I
lasted this long.
664
00:32:22,192 --> 00:32:24,151
I hate the frontier,
I hate everything in it.
665
00:32:24,152 --> 00:32:27,154
Well, what am I gonna do?
I'm your best friend.
666
00:32:27,155 --> 00:32:31,992
I know. That's... That's why
I want you to have these.
667
00:32:31,993 --> 00:32:34,244
Albert, these are
your favorite socks.
668
00:32:34,245 --> 00:32:36,697
Yeah.
669
00:32:36,706 --> 00:32:39,741
And I want you to have that.
670
00:32:42,587 --> 00:32:44,213
Edward, this is your
lucky handkerchief.
671
00:32:44,214 --> 00:32:45,589
Yeah.
672
00:32:45,590 --> 00:32:48,834
It's sticky.
673
00:32:49,427 --> 00:32:52,179
Well, hello to you, too!
674
00:32:52,180 --> 00:32:54,890
James, I found the friendly locals.
(CHUCKLES)
675
00:32:54,891 --> 00:32:58,811
So he said, "Why don't you
go blow your own horse?"
676
00:32:58,812 --> 00:33:00,062
(LAUGHS)
677
00:33:00,063 --> 00:33:02,356
Hey, watch it, pal.
678
00:33:02,357 --> 00:33:04,566
I think you owe me a drink, fella.
679
00:33:04,567 --> 00:33:06,402
The hell I do.
680
00:33:06,403 --> 00:33:08,320
You best watch where you stand.
681
00:33:08,321 --> 00:33:11,281
I don't think you heard me.
682
00:33:11,282 --> 00:33:13,242
I'm thirsty.
683
00:33:13,243 --> 00:33:18,113
Then why don't you go on down
the river and take a dunk?
684
00:33:18,415 --> 00:33:21,074
Last chance, kid.
685
00:33:37,600 --> 00:33:38,809
(EXHALES)
686
00:33:38,810 --> 00:33:41,011
(CHUCKLING)
687
00:33:41,813 --> 00:33:42,938
(GASPS)
688
00:33:42,939 --> 00:33:45,107
(INDISTINCT SHOUTING)
689
00:33:45,108 --> 00:33:46,483
Oh, shit!
690
00:33:46,484 --> 00:33:48,685
(GRUNTS)
691
00:33:50,113 --> 00:33:53,365
Albert, hurry! Get in position!
692
00:33:53,366 --> 00:33:55,817
(GRUNTING)
693
00:33:58,830 --> 00:34:00,622
(GROANING)
694
00:34:00,623 --> 00:34:02,666
We got our own thing
going on over here.
695
00:34:02,667 --> 00:34:04,293
Yeah, nobody needs
to get in on this.
696
00:34:04,294 --> 00:34:06,420
We're both getting
hurt pretty badly.
697
00:34:06,421 --> 00:34:08,505
(GRUNTING)
698
00:34:08,506 --> 00:34:10,966
(GROANING)
699
00:34:10,967 --> 00:34:12,760
Nobody needs to come over here.
700
00:34:12,761 --> 00:34:15,054
This fight is way more
violent than yours...
701
00:34:15,055 --> 00:34:17,473
All those other guys' fights.
702
00:34:17,474 --> 00:34:19,800
(GROANING)
703
00:34:27,484 --> 00:34:28,984
(GRUNTING)
704
00:34:28,985 --> 00:34:31,153
- (GROANING)
- Oh!
705
00:34:31,154 --> 00:34:32,488
You actually hit me!
706
00:34:32,489 --> 00:34:33,614
I'm so sorry.
707
00:34:33,615 --> 00:34:34,698
You fucker!
708
00:34:34,699 --> 00:34:36,033
I put a new move in there.
709
00:34:36,034 --> 00:34:37,409
You don't just put a new move in.
710
00:34:37,410 --> 00:34:39,861
That's why we have the meetings.
711
00:34:42,040 --> 00:34:44,491
(GROANING)
712
00:34:46,503 --> 00:34:48,337
That's where it hurts.
Like, right there.
713
00:34:48,338 --> 00:34:49,713
Like, right underneath my eye.
714
00:34:49,714 --> 00:34:51,006
Yeah, there's a little red spot.
715
00:34:51,007 --> 00:34:52,758
Ow! Careful, it's tender.
716
00:34:52,759 --> 00:34:55,335
(GRUNTING)
717
00:35:13,697 --> 00:35:15,864
- Thank you.
- Sure.
718
00:35:15,865 --> 00:35:18,066
(GUNSHOT)
719
00:35:18,410 --> 00:35:20,777
Shit. Come on.
720
00:35:22,288 --> 00:35:23,414
Whoa!
721
00:35:23,415 --> 00:35:24,540
(SIGHS)
722
00:35:24,541 --> 00:35:26,083
Sorry about that.
723
00:35:26,084 --> 00:35:28,127
It's kind of a regular
occurrence around here.
724
00:35:28,128 --> 00:35:30,212
- Really?
- Yeah.
725
00:35:30,213 --> 00:35:31,380
(BOTH SIGH)
726
00:35:31,381 --> 00:35:34,550
Hey, pretty fast hands back there.
727
00:35:34,551 --> 00:35:36,760
- Oh...
- I guess you're a real hero.
728
00:35:36,761 --> 00:35:40,514
Me? No, I'm not the hero.
729
00:35:40,515 --> 00:35:43,142
I'm the guy in the crowd making
fun of the hero's shirt.
730
00:35:43,143 --> 00:35:44,601
- That's who I am.
- Oh.
731
00:35:44,602 --> 00:35:48,188
- Hey, look who's here.
- Who's this?
732
00:35:48,189 --> 00:35:49,356
This is Plugger.
733
00:35:49,357 --> 00:35:51,934
Hey, Plugger.
734
00:35:52,485 --> 00:35:55,446
So, that... That was your
brother in there, huh?
735
00:35:55,447 --> 00:35:58,907
Yeah, Lewis. He's always
been a little rambunctious.
736
00:35:58,908 --> 00:36:02,494
Yeah, he seems like a great guy.
I'm Albert, by the way.
737
00:36:02,495 --> 00:36:04,204
Anna.
738
00:36:04,205 --> 00:36:05,622
You guys just got into town?
739
00:36:05,623 --> 00:36:07,166
Yeah.
740
00:36:07,167 --> 00:36:09,251
Welcome to our awesome town.
741
00:36:09,252 --> 00:36:10,586
Thanks.
742
00:36:10,587 --> 00:36:12,963
Lewis and I just came
out from Kansas City.
743
00:36:12,964 --> 00:36:14,465
Oh, Kansas.
744
00:36:14,466 --> 00:36:16,258
No, it's in Missouri.
745
00:36:16,259 --> 00:36:18,761
Oh, right. That's
annoying and weird.
746
00:36:18,762 --> 00:36:19,928
We were wanting a change,
747
00:36:19,929 --> 00:36:22,890
so we came out to the frontier
looking to build a farm.
748
00:36:22,891 --> 00:36:24,391
- Oh, that's what I do.
- Really?
749
00:36:24,392 --> 00:36:26,602
Yeah, I got a farm about
2 miles from here.
750
00:36:26,603 --> 00:36:27,895
Oh, cattle?
751
00:36:27,896 --> 00:36:29,521
Uh, no, sheep.
752
00:36:29,522 --> 00:36:31,106
- Oh.
- Yep.
753
00:36:31,107 --> 00:36:33,734
Well, that's got to be
fulfilling work, though, right?
754
00:36:33,735 --> 00:36:34,943
Ah, yeah, it's great.
755
00:36:34,944 --> 00:36:38,489
It's like being a dog walker
for 150 really stupid dogs.
756
00:36:38,490 --> 00:36:39,823
(LAUGHS)
757
00:36:39,824 --> 00:36:41,575
- ALBERT: Oh, shit, Plugger!
- ANNA: Oh, my God!
758
00:36:41,576 --> 00:36:43,577
- Plugger, give it to me. (GROANING)
- Jesus, what is that?
759
00:36:43,578 --> 00:36:45,662
It's the mayor.
760
00:36:45,663 --> 00:36:47,164
- (GLASS SHATTERS)
- (WOMAN SCREAMING)
761
00:36:47,165 --> 00:36:50,158
Oh, shit!
762
00:36:50,794 --> 00:36:53,379
So, how did you guys meet?
763
00:36:53,380 --> 00:36:56,131
Uh, she moved to town
a couple years ago
764
00:36:56,132 --> 00:36:59,134
to take over the schoolmarm job.
765
00:36:59,135 --> 00:37:03,681
Our old schoolmarm got her throat
slit by a fast-moving tumbleweed.
766
00:37:03,682 --> 00:37:05,474
- Oh, my God!
- Yeah.
767
00:37:05,475 --> 00:37:06,767
In front of the kids?
768
00:37:06,768 --> 00:37:09,103
Oh, yeah. Yeah. All of them.
769
00:37:09,104 --> 00:37:10,312
ANNA: Let me help you.
770
00:37:10,313 --> 00:37:14,182
That is just painful to watch.
771
00:37:15,443 --> 00:37:19,863
And, you know, it's like the
whole time we were together
772
00:37:19,864 --> 00:37:22,741
I just remember thinking,
773
00:37:22,742 --> 00:37:26,695
"How can I possibly be this happy?
774
00:37:26,705 --> 00:37:27,788
"She likes me now,
775
00:37:27,789 --> 00:37:29,748
"but one day, she
is gonna figure out
776
00:37:29,749 --> 00:37:32,534
"that she is too good for me."
777
00:37:32,919 --> 00:37:37,414
And then one day, she did.
778
00:37:37,841 --> 00:37:43,795
I feel like I finally tricked one
girl into falling in love with me
779
00:37:44,055 --> 00:37:46,849
and then I lost her.
780
00:37:46,850 --> 00:37:50,594
I think you have this
whole thing upside down.
781
00:37:50,603 --> 00:37:53,188
I mean, it sounds like you've bent
over backwards for this girl,
782
00:37:53,189 --> 00:37:54,732
but what has she given you back?
783
00:37:54,733 --> 00:37:57,359
I told you, she allowed
me to be happy
784
00:37:57,360 --> 00:37:59,695
in a part of the world that
is otherwise a living hell.
785
00:37:59,696 --> 00:38:01,613
"Allowed"? Wow.
786
00:38:01,614 --> 00:38:03,615
That's kind of fucked up that
you would use that word.
787
00:38:03,616 --> 00:38:05,909
You know that, right?
788
00:38:05,910 --> 00:38:09,621
All I know is that there
is nothing for me out here
789
00:38:09,622 --> 00:38:12,115
if I don't have her.
790
00:38:12,625 --> 00:38:14,418
ANNA: Well,
791
00:38:14,419 --> 00:38:17,296
if this Foy guy is
that much of a douche,
792
00:38:17,297 --> 00:38:20,591
she'll figure it out
if she's smart.
793
00:38:20,592 --> 00:38:23,218
Sometimes a girl has to get a
few assholes out of her system
794
00:38:23,219 --> 00:38:25,721
before she realizes what
a good guy looks like.
795
00:38:25,722 --> 00:38:28,090
Mmm. Maybe.
796
00:38:30,226 --> 00:38:31,894
(COUGHING)
797
00:38:31,895 --> 00:38:33,854
- Ah!
- You okay?
798
00:38:33,855 --> 00:38:37,066
(COUGHING) This is actually
my first cigarette ever.
799
00:38:37,067 --> 00:38:40,352
(CHUCKLING) Oh, my God.
800
00:38:41,071 --> 00:38:43,272
(GASPS)
801
00:38:43,656 --> 00:38:45,407
- Oh, shit.
- Diamondback.
802
00:38:45,408 --> 00:38:47,159
- It's a diamondback, yeah.
- Fuck.
803
00:38:47,160 --> 00:38:49,912
It's okay, just hold perfectly
still, and it'll go away.
804
00:38:49,913 --> 00:38:52,489
Okay, okay.
805
00:38:54,751 --> 00:38:57,795
I don't think you
should leave tomorrow.
806
00:38:57,796 --> 00:38:59,755
At least stay through the weekend.
807
00:38:59,756 --> 00:39:01,423
Isn't the fair on Saturday?
808
00:39:01,424 --> 00:39:04,718
Oh, fuck that. I'm not
going to the stupid fair.
809
00:39:04,719 --> 00:39:06,970
Louise is gonna be there,
and she's gonna be with Foy.
810
00:39:06,971 --> 00:39:08,305
I don't want to put myself through
811
00:39:08,306 --> 00:39:09,765
that kind of fucking aggravation.
812
00:39:09,766 --> 00:39:12,059
Yeah, well, I'll go with you.
813
00:39:12,060 --> 00:39:14,478
No better way to make your
ex-girlfriend want you back more
814
00:39:14,479 --> 00:39:16,814
than to let her see you
with another girl.
815
00:39:16,815 --> 00:39:18,023
I don't know.
816
00:39:18,024 --> 00:39:20,776
Especially a smoking-hot girl.
817
00:39:20,777 --> 00:39:24,238
When she sees me, she'll
be intimidated as fuck.
818
00:39:24,239 --> 00:39:26,115
Oh, you're very modest, I see.
819
00:39:26,116 --> 00:39:29,076
I'm a little cocky.
But I got great tits.
820
00:39:29,077 --> 00:39:30,619
- (LAUGHING)
- (RATTLING)
821
00:39:30,620 --> 00:39:32,454
- Oh!
- Sorry. Sorry, sir.
822
00:39:32,455 --> 00:39:35,866
Sorry, sir. Sorry, sir.
823
00:39:42,799 --> 00:39:45,167
(HORSE NEIGHING)
824
00:39:54,519 --> 00:39:57,262
(KEYS JANGLING)
825
00:39:58,273 --> 00:40:02,226
Barnes, wake up.
Brought you a visitor.
826
00:40:03,945 --> 00:40:06,280
You stupid son of a bitch.
827
00:40:06,281 --> 00:40:08,365
You shot the pastor's son.
828
00:40:08,366 --> 00:40:10,284
You realize they're probably
gonna hang you for this?
829
00:40:10,285 --> 00:40:13,904
Who gives a fuck what they want?
830
00:40:14,622 --> 00:40:17,833
When Clinch gets into town, it's
not gonna matter what they do.
831
00:40:17,834 --> 00:40:19,043
He'll bust me out
832
00:40:19,044 --> 00:40:22,871
and anyone who tries to stop
him is gonna be a dead man.
833
00:40:26,509 --> 00:40:29,511
You know, one of these days
834
00:40:29,512 --> 00:40:32,514
there's gonna be a man
who's faster than Clinch
835
00:40:32,515 --> 00:40:35,851
and tougher, and stronger.
836
00:40:35,852 --> 00:40:38,979
And then Clinch is
gonna be the dead man.
837
00:40:38,980 --> 00:40:41,690
And I'm gonna smoke a
fucking cigar to celebrate.
838
00:40:41,691 --> 00:40:46,028
(SCOFFS) I don't think Clinch would
like you talking about him that way.
839
00:40:46,029 --> 00:40:49,281
Not a nice thing for a man's
wife to say about her husband.
840
00:40:49,282 --> 00:40:51,450
Yeah, well,
841
00:40:51,451 --> 00:40:55,904
let's see if he gets here before you
find yourself at the end of a rope.
842
00:40:57,374 --> 00:40:59,616
Tick-tock.
843
00:41:02,712 --> 00:41:04,997
(DOOR CLOSES)
844
00:41:19,771 --> 00:41:22,097
(SHEEP BLEATING)
845
00:41:22,816 --> 00:41:24,274
Oh, no, no, no. No, no, no, no!
846
00:41:24,275 --> 00:41:25,567
Guys, no, no, no.
847
00:41:25,568 --> 00:41:28,237
Andrew, Jonathan, no.
Go, go, go. Go home.
848
00:41:28,238 --> 00:41:30,647
(BLEATING)
849
00:41:31,241 --> 00:41:33,242
Hey, sheep boy.
850
00:41:33,243 --> 00:41:34,910
Hey.
851
00:41:34,911 --> 00:41:38,914
Jesus, are you okay? I heard about
your brother getting arrested.
852
00:41:38,915 --> 00:41:42,084
Yeah, I'm fine. And listen, Albert.
853
00:41:42,085 --> 00:41:44,086
Don't worry about Lewis, okay?
854
00:41:44,087 --> 00:41:47,423
Anything that happens to him right
now is his own fault. Got it?
855
00:41:47,424 --> 00:41:49,216
Yeah. Whatever you say, sure.
856
00:41:49,217 --> 00:41:52,386
Good. Let's hit this fair, because
you know what I wanna do?
857
00:41:52,387 --> 00:41:54,263
Eat hot food in 100-degree weather?
858
00:41:54,264 --> 00:41:57,016
No, get my picture taken.
I've never done it before.
859
00:41:57,017 --> 00:41:58,767
- That's horse shit.
- No, it's the truth.
860
00:41:58,768 --> 00:42:00,769
- No, that's horse shit.
- Whoa! Oh, that is horse shit.
861
00:42:00,770 --> 00:42:04,223
Okay. All right.
862
00:42:28,715 --> 00:42:31,833
Okay, everybody hold still!
863
00:42:32,260 --> 00:42:34,136
You know, supposedly,
there's some guy in Texas
864
00:42:34,137 --> 00:42:36,430
who smiled one time while he
was getting his picture taken.
865
00:42:36,431 --> 00:42:38,140
Shut the fuck up. Are you serious?
866
00:42:38,141 --> 00:42:40,225
We were just talking about
that last week. Is that true?
867
00:42:40,226 --> 00:42:43,645
I don't know. I mean, I heard it
somewhere. I don't know if it's true.
868
00:42:43,646 --> 00:42:46,774
Yeah, it sounds like the kind of
bullshit somebody would make up.
869
00:42:46,775 --> 00:42:50,435
Okay. Everybody hold still.
870
00:42:55,075 --> 00:42:57,076
- Oh, my God!
- Holy shit!
871
00:42:57,077 --> 00:42:59,661
(BOTH SCREAMING)
872
00:42:59,662 --> 00:43:02,155
Hold still!
873
00:43:02,916 --> 00:43:04,833
God! This fucking fair!
874
00:43:04,834 --> 00:43:06,251
Every year, something
like this happens.
875
00:43:06,252 --> 00:43:07,419
Every year, people die.
876
00:43:07,420 --> 00:43:08,837
- Really?
- Every year.
877
00:43:08,838 --> 00:43:10,005
Last year, there
were two gunfights,
878
00:43:10,006 --> 00:43:12,007
there was a knife fight,
a stage collapsed,
879
00:43:12,008 --> 00:43:13,717
there was a drowning, and
the Indians attacked.
880
00:43:13,718 --> 00:43:16,387
- God, why are the Indians always so mad?
- I don't know.
881
00:43:16,388 --> 00:43:18,931
I mean, we're basically splitting
this country 50-50 with them.
882
00:43:18,932 --> 00:43:21,425
They're just selfish.
883
00:43:22,852 --> 00:43:24,770
Ladies and gentlemen!
884
00:43:24,771 --> 00:43:27,231
Step right up, step right up!
885
00:43:27,232 --> 00:43:28,524
Try a sample of...
886
00:43:28,525 --> 00:43:31,068
Sir and madam, may I
divert your attention
887
00:43:31,069 --> 00:43:32,820
over here just for a moment?
888
00:43:32,821 --> 00:43:36,532
Welcome, welcome. Can I
interest you in a miracle cure?
889
00:43:36,533 --> 00:43:39,159
I have only the finest
healing tonics and elixirs
890
00:43:39,160 --> 00:43:41,704
procured from the farthest
corners of the globe.
891
00:43:41,705 --> 00:43:44,415
"Ogden's Celebrated
Stomach Bitters."
892
00:43:44,416 --> 00:43:46,542
Can I just ask, celebrated by who?
893
00:43:46,543 --> 00:43:48,419
Who's celebrating about
stomach bitters?
894
00:43:48,420 --> 00:43:50,004
God. Look at the ingredients.
895
00:43:50,005 --> 00:43:53,340
"Cocaine, alcohol, morphine,
mercury with chalk."
896
00:43:53,341 --> 00:43:55,592
What the hell is
"mercury with chalk"?
897
00:43:55,593 --> 00:43:56,719
Science!
898
00:43:56,720 --> 00:43:58,429
And "red flannel."
899
00:43:58,430 --> 00:44:00,639
Red flannel? There's shirt in here?
900
00:44:00,640 --> 00:44:01,890
Pieces of shirt.
901
00:44:01,891 --> 00:44:03,809
Okay, thank you very much.
902
00:44:03,810 --> 00:44:05,394
Would you like to try?
903
00:44:05,395 --> 00:44:07,021
- ALBERT: Oh, my God.
- ANNA: What?
904
00:44:07,022 --> 00:44:09,023
That's them. That's them.
(STUTTERING)
905
00:44:09,024 --> 00:44:11,483
Quick, pretend you just
said something funny to me.
906
00:44:11,484 --> 00:44:14,361
(LAUGHING) Oh, my God!
You are... You are so hilarious!
907
00:44:14,362 --> 00:44:16,071
Where do you come up... No, shit!
908
00:44:16,072 --> 00:44:17,406
You pretend I said something funny.
909
00:44:17,407 --> 00:44:18,657
Albert, stop. Stop.
910
00:44:18,658 --> 00:44:19,908
Just introduce me. Come on.
911
00:44:19,909 --> 00:44:21,118
I'm not gonna introduce you...
912
00:44:21,119 --> 00:44:23,746
- Oh, hi!
- Hey.
913
00:44:23,747 --> 00:44:27,249
Uh, Foy and Louise, right?
914
00:44:27,250 --> 00:44:28,584
- Mmm-hmm.
- That's right.
915
00:44:28,585 --> 00:44:30,836
Uh, this is Anna. She's...
916
00:44:30,837 --> 00:44:33,047
- I'm his girlfriend.
- She's my girlfriend.
917
00:44:33,048 --> 00:44:35,924
- ANNA: Mmm-hmm.
- She's the new GF. Big time.
918
00:44:35,925 --> 00:44:37,801
A lot of sexual activity.
919
00:44:37,802 --> 00:44:41,847
All the time. I live inside her.
920
00:44:41,848 --> 00:44:43,307
So, if you want to
send me a letter,
921
00:44:43,308 --> 00:44:47,436
you gotta address it
care of her vagina.
922
00:44:47,437 --> 00:44:49,063
Yep.
923
00:44:49,064 --> 00:44:50,105
I have that skirt.
924
00:44:50,106 --> 00:44:52,107
- Oh, you do?
- Mmm-hmm.
925
00:44:52,108 --> 00:44:54,234
Yeah, I wore it to the
fair, like, two years ago.
926
00:44:54,235 --> 00:44:56,403
But good for you for
trying to bring it back.
927
00:44:56,404 --> 00:44:58,655
Well, I figure only
a complete idiot
928
00:44:58,656 --> 00:45:01,533
would throw away a
perfectly good thing.
929
00:45:01,534 --> 00:45:03,744
We were gonna go check out the
shooting gallery over there.
930
00:45:03,745 --> 00:45:05,037
- You guys wanna join?
- What?
931
00:45:05,038 --> 00:45:06,538
Yeah, it'd be fun, right?
932
00:45:06,539 --> 00:45:08,916
Oh, yes, and let's make
things interesting.
933
00:45:08,917 --> 00:45:11,377
A nickel a target.
934
00:45:11,378 --> 00:45:14,380
You know, that's actually, uh,
a little rich for my blood.
935
00:45:14,381 --> 00:45:15,714
Uh, how about a penny?
936
00:45:15,715 --> 00:45:19,843
What's the matter, Albert? Is
business (IMITATING BLEATING) bad?
937
00:45:19,844 --> 00:45:22,429
(CHUCKLING)
938
00:45:22,430 --> 00:45:24,682
No, no. A penny it is.
939
00:45:24,683 --> 00:45:27,810
Good Lord, Albert, you're
such a "sheepskate." Oh!
940
00:45:27,811 --> 00:45:29,019
(LAUGHING) Wow!
941
00:45:29,020 --> 00:45:30,979
Oh...
942
00:45:30,980 --> 00:45:32,940
Let's go, Louise. You
can "shear" me on.
943
00:45:32,941 --> 00:45:34,983
Oh, no, I didn't!
944
00:45:34,984 --> 00:45:37,194
- LOUISE: You're so funny, baby.
- FOY: Thank you.
945
00:45:37,195 --> 00:45:38,362
Shall we?
946
00:45:38,363 --> 00:45:39,488
(WHISPERING) Come on.
947
00:45:39,489 --> 00:45:40,531
Wait, wait, no, no.
948
00:45:40,532 --> 00:45:41,865
There you are, my good man.
949
00:45:41,866 --> 00:45:43,659
Indeed.
950
00:45:43,660 --> 00:45:47,079
Oh, wow. That seems unnecessary.
951
00:45:47,080 --> 00:45:50,824
What's wrong with ducks
or rabbits or something?
952
00:45:53,962 --> 00:45:56,163
Mmm-hmm.
953
00:46:04,305 --> 00:46:07,099
Six shots, six hits.
Quite the marksman!
954
00:46:07,100 --> 00:46:08,434
There you go, ma'am.
955
00:46:08,435 --> 00:46:10,310
- Thank you, baby.
- (CHUCKLING)
956
00:46:10,311 --> 00:46:12,596
(BOTH MOANING)
957
00:46:13,440 --> 00:46:15,724
Care to try?
958
00:46:18,611 --> 00:46:21,321
You got it.
959
00:46:21,322 --> 00:46:24,149
Just breathe.
960
00:46:32,334 --> 00:46:35,118
(CROWD LAUGHING)
961
00:46:36,212 --> 00:46:39,131
Seems you owe me six
cents, sheep herder.
962
00:46:39,132 --> 00:46:40,632
Yeah, yeah, I know.
963
00:46:40,633 --> 00:46:42,760
Jesus.
964
00:46:42,761 --> 00:46:44,678
Wait. Hang on a sec.
965
00:46:44,679 --> 00:46:47,056
You wanna make this interesting?
966
00:46:47,057 --> 00:46:50,142
If I can shoot six out of six on
Albert's behalf, you owe him a dollar.
967
00:46:50,143 --> 00:46:52,019
If I can't,
968
00:46:52,020 --> 00:46:53,896
- he owes you a dollar.
- Wait, what?
969
00:46:53,897 --> 00:46:55,689
- A dollar?
- I've never seen a dollar.
970
00:46:55,690 --> 00:46:56,774
Nobody's got a dollar!
971
00:46:56,775 --> 00:46:57,900
Let us see the dollar!
972
00:46:57,901 --> 00:47:00,069
Well, this is interesting.
973
00:47:00,070 --> 00:47:04,073
All right. Do your best, ma'am.
974
00:47:04,074 --> 00:47:06,283
(IMITATING BLEATING)
975
00:47:06,284 --> 00:47:07,910
How fast can this thing go?
976
00:47:07,911 --> 00:47:11,538
Oh, you can play double or triple
speeds, but that's for the experts.
977
00:47:11,539 --> 00:47:13,740
As fast as you can.
978
00:47:20,465 --> 00:47:23,125
(CROWD EXCLAIMS)
979
00:47:24,094 --> 00:47:26,011
Holy shit!
980
00:47:26,012 --> 00:47:27,513
Congratulations!
981
00:47:27,514 --> 00:47:29,598
You're a winner!
982
00:47:29,599 --> 00:47:31,725
Thank you.
983
00:47:31,726 --> 00:47:34,595
Come on, you owe him a dollar.
984
00:47:36,981 --> 00:47:38,273
(CROWD GASPS)
985
00:47:38,274 --> 00:47:39,400
There it is!
986
00:47:39,401 --> 00:47:40,484
It's beautiful!
987
00:47:40,485 --> 00:47:43,729
Take your hat off, boy.
That's a dollar bill!
988
00:47:45,865 --> 00:47:49,451
Well, a man whose girlfriend
does his shooting for him.
989
00:47:49,452 --> 00:47:51,995
Isn't that a fine how-do-you-do?
990
00:47:51,996 --> 00:47:54,707
(CROWD LAUGHING)
991
00:47:54,708 --> 00:47:57,876
I said, "Isn't that a
fine how-do-you-do?"
992
00:47:57,877 --> 00:47:59,336
(LAUGHING HARDER)
993
00:47:59,337 --> 00:48:01,505
(LAUGHING SARCASTICALLY)
994
00:48:01,506 --> 00:48:04,049
(STAMMERING) How is that funny?
What's funny about that?
995
00:48:04,050 --> 00:48:05,968
"How do you do" is a greeting.
Why is that funny?
996
00:48:05,969 --> 00:48:07,594
You, why are you laughing?
997
00:48:07,595 --> 00:48:11,340
I don't know. He was laughing.
998
00:48:11,474 --> 00:48:14,268
It seems your ex-boyfriend
doesn't have a sense of humor.
999
00:48:14,269 --> 00:48:15,811
I can see why you dumped him.
1000
00:48:15,812 --> 00:48:17,563
Hey!
1001
00:48:17,564 --> 00:48:19,356
You wanna back up that
attitude, asshole?
1002
00:48:19,357 --> 00:48:20,607
Oh, you are kidding.
1003
00:48:20,608 --> 00:48:23,277
Never been more serious in
my life. You and me, pistols.
1004
00:48:23,278 --> 00:48:24,778
You wouldn't have a prayer, kiddo.
1005
00:48:24,779 --> 00:48:26,530
Tomorrow, 8:00 a.m., sharp.
1006
00:48:26,531 --> 00:48:28,365
All right, challenge accepted!
1007
00:48:28,366 --> 00:48:30,367
Oh, gosh. Tomorrow is bad for me,
1008
00:48:30,368 --> 00:48:32,161
and I really wanna be there.
1009
00:48:32,162 --> 00:48:34,288
Why don't we say a week from today?
1010
00:48:34,289 --> 00:48:36,498
That works for you, right, Albert?
1011
00:48:36,499 --> 00:48:39,460
Yeah, yeah, that's fine.
A week from today.
1012
00:48:39,461 --> 00:48:42,921
I got sheep stuff I gotta
do tomorrow, anyway.
1013
00:48:42,922 --> 00:48:44,631
One week.
1014
00:48:44,632 --> 00:48:45,799
Come on, Louise.
1015
00:48:45,800 --> 00:48:48,510
I'll buy you some sugared
butter shavings.
1016
00:48:48,511 --> 00:48:50,879
(IMITATING BLEATING)
1017
00:48:53,600 --> 00:48:55,559
Oh, shit!
1018
00:48:55,560 --> 00:48:56,685
Wow.
1019
00:48:56,686 --> 00:48:59,021
What the fuck did I just do?
1020
00:48:59,022 --> 00:49:02,232
You just challenged
Foy to a gunfight.
1021
00:49:02,233 --> 00:49:03,484
I have no idea what just happened.
1022
00:49:03,485 --> 00:49:05,110
(STAMMERING)
I was, like, out of my body.
1023
00:49:05,111 --> 00:49:07,446
Albert, did you see the
look on Louise's face?
1024
00:49:07,447 --> 00:49:08,572
No. Why?
1025
00:49:08,573 --> 00:49:11,575
She was aroused. She was impressed.
1026
00:49:11,576 --> 00:49:14,661
You had a fire in your belly
for a second there, pal.
1027
00:49:14,662 --> 00:49:16,538
Bet you never showed
her that side before.
1028
00:49:16,539 --> 00:49:18,374
Yeah, I don't have that side to me.
1029
00:49:18,375 --> 00:49:20,084
I honestly don't know
what just happened.
1030
00:49:20,085 --> 00:49:21,919
Albert, you got her attention.
1031
00:49:21,920 --> 00:49:23,379
You beat this guy at a gunfight,
1032
00:49:23,380 --> 00:49:25,547
I bet she thinks twice
about dumping you.
1033
00:49:25,548 --> 00:49:27,216
Anna, I can't be in a gunfight.
1034
00:49:27,217 --> 00:49:28,300
What am I, Clinch Leatherwood here?
1035
00:49:28,301 --> 00:49:30,219
- I'll get killed!
- Whoa!
1036
00:49:30,220 --> 00:49:32,346
Why would you say that?
1037
00:49:32,347 --> 00:49:35,391
Because he's the most vicious
gunfighter in the territory,
1038
00:49:35,392 --> 00:49:36,558
which I am not!
1039
00:49:36,559 --> 00:49:39,520
No, you're not Clinch Leatherwood.
1040
00:49:39,521 --> 00:49:41,063
You're gonna be okay, Albert.
1041
00:49:41,064 --> 00:49:43,732
That week I just bought you is enough
time for me to teach you how to shoot.
1042
00:49:43,733 --> 00:49:44,858
You'll be fine.
1043
00:49:44,859 --> 00:49:46,151
Oh, yeah, by the way,
that's another thing.
1044
00:49:46,152 --> 00:49:48,153
How the fuck can you
shoot like that?
1045
00:49:48,154 --> 00:49:49,655
Who the hell are you?
1046
00:49:49,656 --> 00:49:53,492
My father was a gun maker. I could
shoot a gun before I could walk.
1047
00:49:53,493 --> 00:49:56,495
Whatever. I'm sick to my stomach.
My stomach is in knots.
1048
00:49:56,496 --> 00:49:58,414
You're worked up, that's
what it is. Let's get a drink.
1049
00:49:58,415 --> 00:49:59,581
Come on.
1050
00:49:59,582 --> 00:50:01,959
Hey! It's our sweet young couple.
1051
00:50:01,960 --> 00:50:05,954
Could I interest you folks
in some Wildroot Cream-Oil?
1052
00:50:05,964 --> 00:50:08,498
(CROWD SCREAMING)
1053
00:50:12,762 --> 00:50:13,846
People die at the fair.
1054
00:50:13,847 --> 00:50:16,632
People die at the fair.
1055
00:50:32,115 --> 00:50:34,742
ANNA: Okay, so you're gonna
take your right thumb,
1056
00:50:34,743 --> 00:50:36,243
put it all the way to the left.
1057
00:50:36,244 --> 00:50:38,996
Cross it over, cradle
it right in there,
1058
00:50:38,997 --> 00:50:40,497
and then just extend it
straight through your...
1059
00:50:40,498 --> 00:50:42,082
- Like that?
- Straight.
1060
00:50:42,083 --> 00:50:44,585
Wow, you've never
fired a gun before.
1061
00:50:44,586 --> 00:50:46,420
I... I have not. I own a gun.
1062
00:50:46,421 --> 00:50:48,213
No, I fired a gun at
the shooting gallery.
1063
00:50:48,214 --> 00:50:50,341
Yeah, but those were quarter loads.
These are full loads.
1064
00:50:50,342 --> 00:50:54,219
Okay, all right, get ready. I'm about
to shoot a full load at your cans.
1065
00:50:54,220 --> 00:50:56,263
(LAUGHING)
Shut the fuck up and focus.
1066
00:50:56,264 --> 00:50:58,507
All right. Okay.
1067
00:51:04,981 --> 00:51:06,065
(SIGHS)
1068
00:51:06,066 --> 00:51:07,149
This is never gonna work.
1069
00:51:07,150 --> 00:51:08,984
- This is not working.
- It's gonna work.
1070
00:51:08,985 --> 00:51:11,403
It's gonna work and Louise is
gonna come running back to you.
1071
00:51:11,404 --> 00:51:12,654
How the hell do you
get these things out?
1072
00:51:12,655 --> 00:51:13,864
(LAUGHING)
1073
00:51:13,865 --> 00:51:16,867
I'm sitting there
jerking that thing off.
1074
00:51:16,868 --> 00:51:19,486
(SIGHS)
1075
00:51:19,579 --> 00:51:21,622
Hey, why are you
being so nice to me?
1076
00:51:21,623 --> 00:51:22,831
What do you mean?
1077
00:51:22,832 --> 00:51:25,209
Well, I mean, you show
up out of nowhere.
1078
00:51:25,210 --> 00:51:29,546
You're this complete anomaly in my
world of terribleness out here.
1079
00:51:29,547 --> 00:51:32,424
I mean, you must have a million
better things to do than this.
1080
00:51:32,425 --> 00:51:34,677
What, I can't make a new friend?
1081
00:51:34,678 --> 00:51:36,845
You sure look like
you could use one.
1082
00:51:36,846 --> 00:51:40,057
I guess. I mean, I just... I just
don't know anything about you.
1083
00:51:40,058 --> 00:51:42,101
Well, can I ask you
something about you?
1084
00:51:42,102 --> 00:51:44,386
Yeah, sure.
1085
00:51:44,521 --> 00:51:47,264
Why do you love Louise?
1086
00:51:47,774 --> 00:51:50,776
(SIGHS)
I mean, take your pick. She's...
1087
00:51:50,777 --> 00:51:52,277
I feel great when I'm with her.
1088
00:51:52,278 --> 00:51:56,240
She's classy, she's fun,
she's insanely gorgeous.
1089
00:51:56,241 --> 00:51:59,118
Hey, no. Look, she's
really pretty, yes.
1090
00:51:59,119 --> 00:52:00,869
But honestly, and I'm
sorry to say this,
1091
00:52:00,870 --> 00:52:03,038
I don't see what else
she's got going for her.
1092
00:52:03,039 --> 00:52:06,709
My impression was that she was a
little sour and self-absorbed.
1093
00:52:06,710 --> 00:52:08,836
And for a guy with so
much going for him,
1094
00:52:08,837 --> 00:52:10,087
I just thought that maybe you...
1095
00:52:10,088 --> 00:52:12,464
I don't know what you think
I have going for me, but...
1096
00:52:12,465 --> 00:52:13,966
You see? There you go again,
1097
00:52:13,967 --> 00:52:15,217
just cutting yourself down.
1098
00:52:15,218 --> 00:52:16,927
You act like this
girl was performing
1099
00:52:16,928 --> 00:52:19,138
some kind of a charitable
act by dating you.
1100
00:52:19,139 --> 00:52:20,514
Albert, you're a catch.
1101
00:52:20,515 --> 00:52:22,975
You're sweet, you're
funny, you're smart.
1102
00:52:22,976 --> 00:52:24,852
You've made something
of yourself out here.
1103
00:52:24,853 --> 00:52:26,395
You know, a lot of
people can't say that.
1104
00:52:26,396 --> 00:52:27,980
You're a good sheep farmer.
1105
00:52:27,981 --> 00:52:30,566
Oh, my God, please.
I suck at sheep.
1106
00:52:30,567 --> 00:52:32,109
Louise was right. I can't
keep track of them.
1107
00:52:32,110 --> 00:52:33,902
There was a sheep in the
whorehouse last week.
1108
00:52:33,903 --> 00:52:35,320
- Really?
- Yeah.
1109
00:52:35,321 --> 00:52:37,322
Wandered in there, and then
when I went to pick it up,
1110
00:52:37,323 --> 00:52:39,074
somehow, it had made $20.
1111
00:52:39,075 --> 00:52:41,610
(LAUGHING)
1112
00:52:42,620 --> 00:52:46,915
But, you know, thank you
anyway for what you said.
1113
00:52:46,916 --> 00:52:49,835
Oh, look, the West fucking sucks,
1114
00:52:49,836 --> 00:52:51,587
but the frontier is
not your problem.
1115
00:52:51,588 --> 00:52:52,755
It's you.
1116
00:52:52,756 --> 00:52:54,923
You need a little confidence
boost, my friend.
1117
00:52:54,924 --> 00:52:57,459
Now, aim up, sheep boy.
1118
00:53:06,311 --> 00:53:07,770
- Oh!
- Hey!
1119
00:53:07,771 --> 00:53:09,188
- There we go!
- See? There!
1120
00:53:09,189 --> 00:53:10,814
All righty. That's one.
1121
00:53:10,815 --> 00:53:15,611
So, all I gotta do is get Foy to let
me shoot 16 times before he shoots
1122
00:53:15,612 --> 00:53:16,862
and then I win!
1123
00:53:16,863 --> 00:53:18,280
You're gonna do great, I promise.
1124
00:53:18,281 --> 00:53:20,983
- Easy.
- We're gonna get there.
1125
00:54:29,853 --> 00:54:32,387
(GUNSHOT)
1126
00:55:15,440 --> 00:55:17,066
- (LAUGHING) Hey!
- Yes!
1127
00:55:17,067 --> 00:55:19,026
(SCREAMING)
1128
00:55:19,027 --> 00:55:20,110
Oh!
1129
00:55:20,111 --> 00:55:24,231
God damn it, Albert!
No more friends!
1130
00:55:30,955 --> 00:55:32,748
ANNA:
You know, you did great today.
1131
00:55:32,749 --> 00:55:34,750
So much better than last week.
1132
00:55:34,751 --> 00:55:37,753
And I have a surprise for you.
1133
00:55:37,754 --> 00:55:40,047
You have earned one of Anna Barnes'
1134
00:55:40,048 --> 00:55:44,251
very special
super-super-secret cookies.
1135
00:55:44,761 --> 00:55:47,096
Mmm-hmm.
1136
00:55:47,097 --> 00:55:49,014
- Wait, what is this?
- Mmm-hmm?
1137
00:55:49,015 --> 00:55:50,974
This is a pot... This is
a pot cookie, isn't it?
1138
00:55:50,975 --> 00:55:52,309
- It's a pot cookie.
- No, no, no.
1139
00:55:52,310 --> 00:55:53,435
No. I don't do well
with that stuff at all.
1140
00:55:53,436 --> 00:55:54,520
It's a pot cookie.
1141
00:55:54,521 --> 00:55:56,313
Yeah, I know. No, thank you.
1142
00:55:56,314 --> 00:55:57,564
Just have a little bit with me.
1143
00:55:57,565 --> 00:56:00,401
My worst fear is to OD
on a recreational drug.
1144
00:56:00,402 --> 00:56:01,860
- (STAMMERS) No, thank you.
- On a pot cookie?
1145
00:56:01,861 --> 00:56:03,487
The last time somebody
gave me one of these
1146
00:56:03,488 --> 00:56:05,948
I became convinced that prairie
dogs could read my mind.
1147
00:56:05,949 --> 00:56:07,866
Just take a little bit.
1148
00:56:07,867 --> 00:56:09,702
- I'll take a very, very small bite.
- Just a small bite.
1149
00:56:09,703 --> 00:56:12,905
- A very small bite.
- That's it.
1150
00:56:14,249 --> 00:56:15,541
Are you kidding me?
1151
00:56:15,542 --> 00:56:17,126
Nope. Deadly serious.
1152
00:56:17,127 --> 00:56:18,794
- (LAUGHING)
- Let's see what this does
1153
00:56:18,795 --> 00:56:20,337
and if I don't throw
myself off this cliff
1154
00:56:20,338 --> 00:56:21,839
during some awful
freak-out, then...
1155
00:56:21,840 --> 00:56:23,507
Just take that little
bit, right there.
1156
00:56:23,508 --> 00:56:25,551
- Well, now you've touched it.
- (LAUGHING)
1157
00:56:25,552 --> 00:56:29,888
Take the other side. There you go.
1158
00:56:29,889 --> 00:56:32,141
There.
1159
00:56:32,142 --> 00:56:35,886
And now, we just wait
for the sun to set.
1160
00:56:46,698 --> 00:56:49,491
This is really weird.
1161
00:56:49,492 --> 00:56:52,694
- Is it supposed to be like this?
- (CHUCKLING)
1162
00:56:54,247 --> 00:56:55,456
You gave me the right
amount, right?
1163
00:56:55,457 --> 00:56:59,284
You don't think I took too much?
1164
00:57:00,462 --> 00:57:02,921
- Just ride it out.
- This is...
1165
00:57:02,922 --> 00:57:05,299
Wow, my bones are in
really deep today.
1166
00:57:05,300 --> 00:57:08,635
Like, there's a lot more
skin than there usually is.
1167
00:57:08,636 --> 00:57:10,679
I think my body is padding
up for the winter,
1168
00:57:10,680 --> 00:57:12,139
which is weird, because
it's not winter.
1169
00:57:12,140 --> 00:57:13,390
But there's a lot more there.
1170
00:57:13,391 --> 00:57:14,892
(ANNA LAUGHING)
1171
00:57:14,893 --> 00:57:17,094
Oh...
1172
00:57:17,520 --> 00:57:19,063
(SWALLOWING)
1173
00:57:19,064 --> 00:57:21,815
There's something wrong
with my swallowing.
1174
00:57:21,816 --> 00:57:23,484
This is not how I usually swallow.
1175
00:57:23,485 --> 00:57:24,610
(SQUEAKING)
1176
00:57:24,611 --> 00:57:25,778
Oh, my God, Anna, he knows.
1177
00:57:25,779 --> 00:57:26,862
What, what, what?
1178
00:57:26,863 --> 00:57:28,947
He knows what we're doing,
he knows what this is.
1179
00:57:28,948 --> 00:57:30,324
He knows what this is.
1180
00:57:30,325 --> 00:57:33,285
I don't wanna... No,
I don't wanna join.
1181
00:57:33,286 --> 00:57:36,738
I don't wanna join up.
1182
00:57:51,721 --> 00:57:53,847
Suppertime, you lazy prick.
1183
00:57:53,848 --> 00:57:56,466
(SNORING)
1184
00:57:58,228 --> 00:58:00,854
Goddamn waste of lungs.
1185
00:58:00,855 --> 00:58:03,056
(GRUNTING)
1186
00:58:08,238 --> 00:58:11,273
Who's lazy now, Sheriff?
1187
00:58:13,952 --> 00:58:15,703
(CHUCKLES)
1188
00:58:15,704 --> 00:58:18,405
(FOLK MUSIC PLAYING)
1189
00:58:24,129 --> 00:58:26,747
(CROWD CHEERING)
1190
00:58:42,772 --> 00:58:45,432
(WHOOPING)
1191
00:58:56,453 --> 00:58:58,654
Hey.
1192
00:59:02,917 --> 00:59:04,418
Wow.
1193
00:59:04,419 --> 00:59:06,628
You look amazing.
1194
00:59:06,629 --> 00:59:08,630
And maybe a little uncomfortable.
1195
00:59:08,631 --> 00:59:10,758
Oh, shit!
1196
00:59:10,759 --> 00:59:12,593
I'm totally overdressed, aren't I?
1197
00:59:12,594 --> 00:59:13,927
No.
1198
00:59:13,928 --> 00:59:15,971
I've never done formal before.
1199
00:59:15,972 --> 00:59:18,307
And the lady at the boutique
told me to buy this
1200
00:59:18,308 --> 00:59:19,725
and no one else is wearing this.
1201
00:59:19,726 --> 00:59:21,143
(STAMMERS) Who cares what...
1202
00:59:21,144 --> 00:59:23,937
These are all fuckers.
You look fantastic.
1203
00:59:23,938 --> 00:59:26,315
I look like Jane Austen
threw up all over me.
1204
00:59:26,316 --> 00:59:28,984
(LAUGHING) You do not look
like Jane Austen threw...
1205
00:59:28,985 --> 00:59:31,362
No, you look absolutely beautiful.
1206
00:59:31,363 --> 00:59:32,738
You can breathe in
that thing, right?
1207
00:59:32,739 --> 00:59:33,906
There's nothing I like more than
1208
00:59:33,907 --> 00:59:35,657
putting on some
loose, baggy clothes,
1209
00:59:35,658 --> 00:59:37,409
and just being able to relax.
1210
00:59:37,410 --> 00:59:39,912
Yeah, this is an end-of-the-workday
outfit you have on.
1211
00:59:39,913 --> 00:59:42,581
I'm very glad I
remembered the six items
1212
00:59:42,582 --> 00:59:44,333
I somehow require to
hold up my pants.
1213
00:59:44,334 --> 00:59:45,376
Oh, yeah.
1214
00:59:45,377 --> 00:59:46,585
I like your bustle, by the way.
1215
00:59:46,586 --> 00:59:47,753
Oh, yeah.
1216
00:59:47,754 --> 00:59:50,756
I really love that the most
alluring fashion statement
1217
00:59:50,757 --> 00:59:52,174
a woman can make today
1218
00:59:52,175 --> 00:59:53,509
is to simulate a fat ass.
1219
00:59:53,510 --> 00:59:55,844
- That is a simulation of a fat ass, right there.
- Thank you.
1220
00:59:55,845 --> 00:59:59,348
If I was a black guy, this is the
meanest trick you could play on me.
1221
00:59:59,349 --> 01:00:01,809
Because I'd be like,
"Oh, my God! Look.
1222
01:00:01,810 --> 01:00:03,394
"There's a fat ass, my favorite."
1223
01:00:03,395 --> 01:00:06,021
And then I'd lift it up and I'd be
like, "Oh, shit, it's a big joke."
1224
01:00:06,022 --> 01:00:08,232
I know, exactly, because
when you lift it up
1225
01:00:08,233 --> 01:00:10,442
there's nothing but a
metal cage under there.
1226
01:00:10,443 --> 01:00:12,695
ALBERT: Wow!
1227
01:00:12,696 --> 01:00:15,364
You are ready to relieve
the stress of the day.
1228
01:00:15,365 --> 01:00:18,275
Completely.
1229
01:00:18,868 --> 01:00:21,320
(SIGHS)
1230
01:00:21,413 --> 01:00:24,248
Well, at the very least,
this will be a good way
1231
01:00:24,249 --> 01:00:26,458
to spend my last
night alive, right?
1232
01:00:26,459 --> 01:00:27,626
Albert.
1233
01:00:27,627 --> 01:00:29,253
What?
1234
01:00:29,254 --> 01:00:31,830
Do you trust me?
1235
01:00:32,924 --> 01:00:34,925
Yeah, I do.
1236
01:00:34,926 --> 01:00:37,970
Good. You're gonna be fine.
1237
01:00:37,971 --> 01:00:39,722
If I thought you were
gonna lose this gunfight,
1238
01:00:39,723 --> 01:00:43,634
I'd make you call it off. Okay?
1239
01:00:44,519 --> 01:00:45,978
(SIGHS)
1240
01:00:45,979 --> 01:00:48,430
Yeah, okay.
1241
01:00:48,440 --> 01:00:50,766
Trust me.
1242
01:00:51,901 --> 01:00:54,236
(CROWD CHEERING)
1243
01:00:54,237 --> 01:00:58,073
Hey, how about it
for the James Gang?
1244
01:00:58,074 --> 01:01:01,618
Thank you. Hey, hey, it's great
to be back here in Old Stump.
1245
01:01:01,619 --> 01:01:04,079
Any Indians here tonight?
How'd you get tickets?
1246
01:01:04,080 --> 01:01:06,990
Let me guess. Scalpers.
1247
01:01:08,752 --> 01:01:12,129
But I tell ya, folks, this telegraph
machine... That thing is nuts.
1248
01:01:12,130 --> 01:01:15,090
I mean, sure, it's faster
than the Pony Express,
1249
01:01:15,091 --> 01:01:17,676
but what good is it if you can't
send a picture of your dick?
1250
01:01:17,677 --> 01:01:19,094
(CROWD LAUGHING)
1251
01:01:19,095 --> 01:01:20,763
Okay, they're giving
me the lantern.
1252
01:01:20,764 --> 01:01:23,432
Enjoy the bison and I hope
you're enjoying your drinks
1253
01:01:23,433 --> 01:01:26,935
as much as my horse enjoyed
making them for you.
1254
01:01:26,936 --> 01:01:31,306
Now, let's all line up for
the sweetheart dance.
1255
01:01:31,775 --> 01:01:33,442
Come on, let's go.
1256
01:01:33,443 --> 01:01:35,110
No, no, no! I suck at dancing.
1257
01:01:35,111 --> 01:01:36,278
No one will notice.
1258
01:01:36,279 --> 01:01:37,363
How will they not notice?
1259
01:01:37,364 --> 01:01:39,690
Because you suck at everything.
1260
01:01:39,741 --> 01:01:41,116
Well, well!
1261
01:01:41,117 --> 01:01:43,786
Hello, there, sheepie.
1262
01:01:43,787 --> 01:01:46,372
Hello, Foy. Hey, Louise.
1263
01:01:46,373 --> 01:01:47,498
Hey, Albert.
1264
01:01:47,499 --> 01:01:49,833
So, big day tomorrow.
1265
01:01:49,834 --> 01:01:52,503
Care for a last dance?
1266
01:01:52,504 --> 01:01:53,962
With you?
1267
01:01:53,963 --> 01:01:55,547
No, not with me.
1268
01:01:55,548 --> 01:01:56,715
- I mean, the dance.
- Oh!
1269
01:01:56,716 --> 01:01:58,967
Yeah. No, yeah, no.
She and I are gonna dance.
1270
01:01:58,968 --> 01:02:01,470
And now, to serenade us
for the sweetheart dance,
1271
01:02:01,471 --> 01:02:05,132
our very own Marcus Thornton!
1272
01:02:05,642 --> 01:02:08,010
Shit crowd.
1273
01:02:11,147 --> 01:02:13,348
(INAUDIBLE)
1274
01:02:15,443 --> 01:02:18,987
(SIGHS) Ready for weird, stiff,
traditional frontier dancing?
1275
01:02:18,988 --> 01:02:20,072
Fuck, yes.
1276
01:02:20,073 --> 01:02:22,858
(FOLK MUSIC PLAYING)
1277
01:02:23,493 --> 01:02:25,452
You men who long for love
1278
01:02:25,453 --> 01:02:27,204
You mustn't all despair
1279
01:02:27,205 --> 01:02:29,665
There's a secret you should know
1280
01:02:29,666 --> 01:02:31,375
To capture the hearts of the fair
1281
01:02:31,376 --> 01:02:35,295
You may not have the looks
You may not have the dash
1282
01:02:35,296 --> 01:02:37,214
But you'll win yourself a girl
1283
01:02:37,215 --> 01:02:39,008
If you've only got a moustache
1284
01:02:39,009 --> 01:02:41,135
A moustache
A moustache
1285
01:02:41,136 --> 01:02:44,546
If you've only got a moustache
1286
01:02:46,766 --> 01:02:49,059
You may be common folk
1287
01:02:49,060 --> 01:02:50,894
Without a hint of pride
1288
01:02:50,895 --> 01:02:52,896
But you needn't be a king
1289
01:02:52,897 --> 01:02:54,898
To make any maiden a bride
1290
01:02:54,899 --> 01:02:59,069
You may not have the name
You may not have the cash
1291
01:02:59,070 --> 01:03:00,696
But you'll make that girl your own
1292
01:03:00,697 --> 01:03:02,489
If you've only got a moustache
1293
01:03:02,490 --> 01:03:03,574
A moustache
1294
01:03:03,575 --> 01:03:07,486
A moustache
If you've only got a moustache
1295
01:03:10,749 --> 01:03:12,541
You may be big and fat
1296
01:03:12,542 --> 01:03:14,376
Or uglier than sin
1297
01:03:14,377 --> 01:03:16,837
All the ladies shut you out
1298
01:03:16,838 --> 01:03:18,756
You're wondering how to get in
1299
01:03:18,757 --> 01:03:22,176
Well, here is my advice
For how to make a splash
1300
01:03:22,177 --> 01:03:24,219
You can have your pick of gals
1301
01:03:24,220 --> 01:03:26,096
If you've only got a moustache
1302
01:03:26,097 --> 01:03:27,931
A moustache
A moustache
1303
01:03:27,932 --> 01:03:29,933
If you've only got a moustache
1304
01:03:29,934 --> 01:03:33,228
A moustache, a moustache,
a moustache
1305
01:03:33,229 --> 01:03:35,022
Big moustache, thick moustache
1306
01:03:35,023 --> 01:03:36,774
My moustache, your moustache
1307
01:03:36,775 --> 01:03:38,859
Say the word, the word "moustache"
1308
01:03:38,860 --> 01:03:40,736
A moustache, a moustache
1309
01:03:40,737 --> 01:03:42,488
Now we both have said "moustache"
1310
01:03:42,489 --> 01:03:43,739
A moustache
1311
01:03:43,740 --> 01:03:47,242
A moustache
If you've only got a moustache
1312
01:03:47,243 --> 01:03:49,695
(CROWD CHEERING)
1313
01:03:54,292 --> 01:03:56,585
Fucking asshole.
1314
01:03:56,586 --> 01:03:59,588
How about I steal a bottle of
whiskey and we get out of here?
1315
01:03:59,589 --> 01:04:00,756
Love that idea.
1316
01:04:00,757 --> 01:04:03,250
I'll be right back.
1317
01:04:03,468 --> 01:04:06,295
Your dick's out.
1318
01:04:18,274 --> 01:04:19,483
(TALKING INDISTINCTLY)
1319
01:04:19,484 --> 01:04:20,943
(LAUGHING)
1320
01:04:20,944 --> 01:04:22,945
Hey.
1321
01:04:22,946 --> 01:04:25,406
So, Albert and I are gonna split,
1322
01:04:25,407 --> 01:04:28,450
but I just wanted to come by
and wish you luck tomorrow.
1323
01:04:28,451 --> 01:04:30,986
Thank you.
1324
01:04:31,496 --> 01:04:32,955
So, I guess it's kind of weird
1325
01:04:32,956 --> 01:04:34,331
knowing that a woman
can outshoot you, huh?
1326
01:04:34,332 --> 01:04:35,416
If you don't mind,
1327
01:04:35,417 --> 01:04:37,251
my girlfriend and I are
enjoying each other's company.
1328
01:04:37,252 --> 01:04:39,786
Want to know the
real kicker, though?
1329
01:04:40,505 --> 01:04:43,290
I can outdrink you, too.
1330
01:04:43,466 --> 01:04:48,795
That, I can assure
you, is impossible.
1331
01:04:49,305 --> 01:04:52,507
Fifty cents to the winner.
1332
01:04:53,977 --> 01:04:55,644
One,
1333
01:04:55,645 --> 01:04:57,438
two,
1334
01:04:57,439 --> 01:04:59,640
three.
1335
01:05:02,485 --> 01:05:03,861
(GRUNTS)
1336
01:05:03,862 --> 01:05:05,154
Oh, shit!
1337
01:05:05,155 --> 01:05:06,238
Don't feel bad.
1338
01:05:06,239 --> 01:05:10,451
Alcohol doesn't harmonize well with a
woman's frail constitution, anyway.
1339
01:05:10,452 --> 01:05:11,785
I guess not.
1340
01:05:11,786 --> 01:05:13,120
Here you go.
1341
01:05:13,121 --> 01:05:15,456
You can buy your
girlfriend a brain.
1342
01:05:15,457 --> 01:05:16,874
Excuse me?
1343
01:05:16,875 --> 01:05:18,625
You're an idiot.
1344
01:05:18,626 --> 01:05:21,712
You have the nicest guy in the world
throwing himself at your feet
1345
01:05:21,713 --> 01:05:24,173
and here you are with
this complete asshole.
1346
01:05:24,174 --> 01:05:26,717
Who I go out with
is my own business.
1347
01:05:26,718 --> 01:05:29,928
So, why don't you
mind your own, bitch?
1348
01:05:29,929 --> 01:05:34,341
How are you so blind
with eyes that big?
1349
01:05:35,518 --> 01:05:37,936
Enjoy your night.
1350
01:05:37,937 --> 01:05:40,064
- (HUFFS)
- They're not that big.
1351
01:05:40,065 --> 01:05:42,691
No, my dear, they're
practically Chinese.
1352
01:05:42,692 --> 01:05:43,859
God, I love you.
1353
01:05:43,860 --> 01:05:46,436
- I love you, too.
- (MOANING)
1354
01:05:51,534 --> 01:05:53,827
How's that?
1355
01:05:53,828 --> 01:05:55,371
Ooh. (COUGHING)
1356
01:05:55,372 --> 01:05:56,580
- Wow.
- (INHALES SHARPLY)
1357
01:05:56,581 --> 01:05:58,374
- Um...
- It'll keep us warm, though.
1358
01:05:58,375 --> 01:05:59,541
Are you cold?
1359
01:05:59,542 --> 01:06:00,668
A little.
1360
01:06:00,669 --> 01:06:01,710
Here, take...
1361
01:06:01,711 --> 01:06:03,587
- No, no, no! It's okay.
- No, it's fine. Here.
1362
01:06:03,588 --> 01:06:08,425
This has been in my family
for 97 generations.
1363
01:06:08,426 --> 01:06:09,551
(SIGHS)
1364
01:06:09,552 --> 01:06:12,012
I can't get that goddamn
moustache song out of my head.
1365
01:06:12,013 --> 01:06:13,597
Oh, just think of another song.
1366
01:06:13,598 --> 01:06:15,724
I can't. There's only,
like, three songs.
1367
01:06:15,725 --> 01:06:18,018
Oh, that's true. And they're
all by Stephen Foster.
1368
01:06:18,019 --> 01:06:20,187
Yeah.
1369
01:06:20,188 --> 01:06:21,730
Mmm.
1370
01:06:21,731 --> 01:06:24,233
(SIGHS) Um...
1371
01:06:24,234 --> 01:06:25,943
Hey, you know, whatever
happens tomorrow,
1372
01:06:25,944 --> 01:06:30,114
I just... I just want
to say thank you.
1373
01:06:30,115 --> 01:06:31,407
Uh...
1374
01:06:31,408 --> 01:06:35,744
I couldn't have gotten
this far without you.
1375
01:06:35,745 --> 01:06:40,749
And this may be the booze talking,
or your pep talk, or both,
1376
01:06:40,750 --> 01:06:43,085
but I think I can do it.
1377
01:06:43,086 --> 01:06:45,087
You know, I think I can beat him.
1378
01:06:45,088 --> 01:06:47,214
Well, I'll tell you this, you
sound a lot more confident
1379
01:06:47,215 --> 01:06:51,293
than that guy who dragged me out
of the saloon not too long ago.
1380
01:06:51,386 --> 01:06:52,428
You know, it's funny.
1381
01:06:52,429 --> 01:06:54,430
I still feel like I don't know
1382
01:06:54,431 --> 01:06:57,516
anything about you
after all this time.
1383
01:06:57,517 --> 01:07:02,804
And I feel like every time I bring
it up, you change the subject.
1384
01:07:02,939 --> 01:07:05,399
There really isn't
that much to tell.
1385
01:07:05,400 --> 01:07:08,986
My story is a lot like
yours, I suppose.
1386
01:07:08,987 --> 01:07:12,656
Because I'll tell you, I hate the
West just as much as you do.
1387
01:07:12,657 --> 01:07:13,782
Do you really?
1388
01:07:13,783 --> 01:07:15,325
For my own reasons, but, yeah.
1389
01:07:15,326 --> 01:07:17,786
Oh, I like you even more now.
1390
01:07:17,787 --> 01:07:20,456
There is something about
connecting over mutual hatred
1391
01:07:20,457 --> 01:07:22,291
that's just so much
deeper than mutual love.
1392
01:07:22,292 --> 01:07:23,417
It's true, right?
1393
01:07:23,418 --> 01:07:26,253
If two people hate the same
things, it creates a bond.
1394
01:07:26,254 --> 01:07:27,463
Hate can move mountains.
1395
01:07:27,464 --> 01:07:28,630
(LAUGHING) Yes.
1396
01:07:28,631 --> 01:07:30,466
Oh, hey, you know what?
Before I forget.
1397
01:07:30,467 --> 01:07:32,301
Hey, Bridget, Bridget.
1398
01:07:32,302 --> 01:07:34,178
- Yeah, she knows. Come here. There we go.
- (ANNA LAUGHING)
1399
01:07:34,179 --> 01:07:35,846
ANNA: Oh, my God.
1400
01:07:35,847 --> 01:07:37,598
What is this?
1401
01:07:37,599 --> 01:07:41,268
This is just a little
something to say thank you.
1402
01:07:41,269 --> 01:07:42,353
Albert.
1403
01:07:42,354 --> 01:07:46,473
It's nothing huge, it's just...
1404
01:07:47,359 --> 01:07:48,650
Okay, don't get too excited.
1405
01:07:48,651 --> 01:07:51,019
What is it? What is it? What is it?
1406
01:07:52,655 --> 01:07:53,989
Holy shit.
1407
01:07:53,990 --> 01:07:55,366
ALBERT: (LAUGHING) I know, right?
1408
01:07:55,367 --> 01:07:56,658
- He's smiling.
- Yeah.
1409
01:07:56,659 --> 01:07:58,035
No, in the picture, he's smiling!
1410
01:07:58,036 --> 01:07:59,119
ALBERT: Isn't that amazing?
1411
01:07:59,120 --> 01:08:01,246
I bought that off a peddler who was
coming through town last week.
1412
01:08:01,247 --> 01:08:03,248
- This is the guy I was telling you about.
- Uh-huh.
1413
01:08:03,249 --> 01:08:04,500
I didn't even know this existed.
1414
01:08:04,501 --> 01:08:06,794
- And apparently, he's not insane.
- Bullshit!
1415
01:08:06,795 --> 01:08:07,961
That's what the guy told me.
1416
01:08:07,962 --> 01:08:10,172
It takes 30 seconds
to take a photograph.
1417
01:08:10,173 --> 01:08:11,590
This guy would have
had to sit there
1418
01:08:11,591 --> 01:08:13,384
and smile for 30 sustained seconds.
1419
01:08:13,385 --> 01:08:15,928
I know. I've never been happy for
30 seconds in a row in my life.
1420
01:08:15,929 --> 01:08:18,347
No one has. It's the fucking West!
1421
01:08:18,348 --> 01:08:19,807
He's gotta be insane!
1422
01:08:19,808 --> 01:08:22,551
Who the fuck knows?
1423
01:08:25,772 --> 01:08:28,190
This is incredibly sweet.
1424
01:08:28,191 --> 01:08:31,360
(STAMMERING) It's nothing. It's...
1425
01:08:31,361 --> 01:08:34,062
I owe you.
1426
01:08:34,447 --> 01:08:38,150
No one's ever done
anything like this for me.
1427
01:08:38,326 --> 01:08:40,285
Oh, come on, now. (CHUCKLES)
1428
01:08:40,286 --> 01:08:43,071
Thank you.
1429
01:09:12,277 --> 01:09:14,820
Uh...
1430
01:09:14,821 --> 01:09:16,739
I'm sorry.
1431
01:09:16,740 --> 01:09:19,942
I... I shouldn't have done that.
1432
01:09:21,036 --> 01:09:24,913
No, it's... It's fine.
1433
01:09:24,914 --> 01:09:26,749
You...
1434
01:09:26,750 --> 01:09:31,578
You've just been a really good
friend to me. That's all.
1435
01:09:34,382 --> 01:09:38,252
Yeah. I, um...
1436
01:09:39,262 --> 01:09:40,846
It's late.
1437
01:09:40,847 --> 01:09:43,599
Yeah, I should take you home.
1438
01:09:43,600 --> 01:09:46,134
(CHUCKLES)
1439
01:10:05,955 --> 01:10:08,448
- (GRUNTS)
- (CHUCKLES)
1440
01:10:22,263 --> 01:10:24,640
Oh, thanks.
1441
01:10:24,641 --> 01:10:28,310
Good luck tomorrow.
I'm gonna be there.
1442
01:10:28,311 --> 01:10:31,013
Good. (CHUCKLES)
1443
01:10:31,398 --> 01:10:33,724
Okay.
1444
01:10:59,175 --> 01:11:00,926
Um... (CLEARS THROAT)
1445
01:11:00,927 --> 01:11:02,970
(CHUCKLES) Good night.
1446
01:11:02,971 --> 01:11:05,339
Good night.
1447
01:11:34,461 --> 01:11:36,662
(HORSE NEIGHS)
1448
01:11:51,227 --> 01:11:53,679
(CRACKLING)
1449
01:12:03,198 --> 01:12:05,440
Hello?
1450
01:12:05,617 --> 01:12:08,151
(EXCLAIMS)
1451
01:12:10,497 --> 01:12:12,915
What, uh... What's that?
1452
01:12:12,916 --> 01:12:15,951
Nothing. (STUTTERING)
1453
01:12:15,960 --> 01:12:19,088
It's a weather experiment.
1454
01:12:19,089 --> 01:12:21,373
Oh.
1455
01:12:23,259 --> 01:12:26,211
Great Scott!
1456
01:12:30,767 --> 01:12:32,518
Are you sure you can't call it off?
1457
01:12:32,519 --> 01:12:35,354
Of course not. I'd
be branded a coward.
1458
01:12:35,355 --> 01:12:38,399
Baby, if you fight him
tomorrow, you will kill him.
1459
01:12:38,400 --> 01:12:40,984
Yes, that's what
happens in a gunfight.
1460
01:12:40,985 --> 01:12:43,529
But he's not a bad guy, Foy.
1461
01:12:43,530 --> 01:12:45,406
I mean, yeah, he's kind of a loser
1462
01:12:45,407 --> 01:12:47,408
and he always smells like sheep,
1463
01:12:47,409 --> 01:12:48,617
but he doesn't deserve to be shot.
1464
01:12:48,618 --> 01:12:49,993
Louise!
1465
01:12:49,994 --> 01:12:52,329
My decision is final.
1466
01:12:52,330 --> 01:12:53,831
Now, do it.
1467
01:12:53,832 --> 01:12:55,082
Hey, I'm really tired.
1468
01:12:55,083 --> 01:12:57,784
Louise!
1469
01:13:04,718 --> 01:13:07,294
(MOANING)
1470
01:13:09,889 --> 01:13:13,267
My social stature is significant.
1471
01:13:13,268 --> 01:13:15,853
I'm an important man.
1472
01:13:15,854 --> 01:13:17,938
I have my own business.
1473
01:13:17,939 --> 01:13:20,482
People envy me.
1474
01:13:20,483 --> 01:13:22,401
(STOMACH RUMBLING)
1475
01:13:22,402 --> 01:13:24,486
Ooh...
1476
01:13:24,487 --> 01:13:26,855
- What's wrong?
- (GROANS)
1477
01:13:27,032 --> 01:13:30,275
- Foy!
- Not now!
1478
01:13:54,517 --> 01:13:56,969
(KNOCK ON DOOR)
1479
01:14:08,615 --> 01:14:11,984
Hello, sweetheart.
1480
01:14:31,054 --> 01:14:33,589
(MOUTHING) Where's Anna?
1481
01:14:53,535 --> 01:14:56,486
(STOMACH RUMBLING)
1482
01:15:07,257 --> 01:15:09,458
(SIGHS)
1483
01:15:09,509 --> 01:15:11,793
Well, now,
1484
01:15:11,928 --> 01:15:15,431
I didn't think you'd show, sheepie.
1485
01:15:15,432 --> 01:15:18,800
Yeah, listen, Foy...
1486
01:15:23,606 --> 01:15:25,807
Oh...
1487
01:15:26,026 --> 01:15:28,610
Oh. Oh...
1488
01:15:28,611 --> 01:15:30,612
(FARTING)
1489
01:15:30,613 --> 01:15:32,940
(GASPING)
1490
01:15:33,408 --> 01:15:35,776
(FARTING)
1491
01:15:41,332 --> 01:15:44,618
(SIGHING)
1492
01:15:46,463 --> 01:15:48,664
(FARTS)
1493
01:16:07,817 --> 01:16:09,485
(FARTS)
1494
01:16:09,486 --> 01:16:12,020
(SIGHS DEEPLY)
1495
01:16:12,822 --> 01:16:15,357
(STRAINING)
1496
01:16:33,134 --> 01:16:35,844
Holy shit. You all... You all done?
1497
01:16:35,845 --> 01:16:37,721
I'm good.
1498
01:16:37,722 --> 01:16:39,965
Okay.
1499
01:16:41,017 --> 01:16:43,886
Listen, Foy,
1500
01:16:47,524 --> 01:16:50,350
she's all yours.
1501
01:16:51,111 --> 01:16:52,194
(SIGHS)
1502
01:16:52,195 --> 01:16:54,571
Louise,
1503
01:16:54,572 --> 01:16:56,573
you know, I really
do care about you.
1504
01:16:56,574 --> 01:16:59,868
But, I don't know,
somewhere along the line
1505
01:16:59,869 --> 01:17:05,407
I guess I just forgot that a
relationship is a two-way street.
1506
01:17:05,625 --> 01:17:08,752
And I've been reminded recently
1507
01:17:08,753 --> 01:17:12,831
of what it's like to have
somebody care about me.
1508
01:17:13,091 --> 01:17:15,584
And I like it.
1509
01:17:15,677 --> 01:17:19,847
So, if you want to spend the rest of
your life with a pussy full of hair,
1510
01:17:19,848 --> 01:17:24,384
I say, go with God and
best of luck to you.
1511
01:17:29,733 --> 01:17:32,109
You know, I just realized that last
joke might not have been clear.
1512
01:17:32,110 --> 01:17:34,570
I didn't mean that she
has a hairy pussy.
1513
01:17:34,571 --> 01:17:37,865
I meant that Foy has a moustache,
1514
01:17:37,866 --> 01:17:42,494
so, you know, he gets hair in her
1515
01:17:42,495 --> 01:17:47,157
when he goes down there.
1516
01:17:47,751 --> 01:17:50,911
Yeah. (IMITATING GUNFIRE)
1517
01:17:54,341 --> 01:17:56,792
I got it.
1518
01:18:08,980 --> 01:18:11,682
Anna?
1519
01:18:23,828 --> 01:18:27,155
- Coward.
- Thank you.
1520
01:18:27,415 --> 01:18:29,166
She's not there.
1521
01:18:29,167 --> 01:18:31,460
- Well, I'm sure she's okay.
- I don't understand.
1522
01:18:31,461 --> 01:18:33,128
We've been prepping for
this gunfight for a week.
1523
01:18:33,129 --> 01:18:34,421
She wouldn't just not show up.
1524
01:18:34,422 --> 01:18:37,508
Hey, do you... Do you think
you guys are gonna have sex?
1525
01:18:37,509 --> 01:18:38,634
Uh...
1526
01:18:38,635 --> 01:18:40,636
Maybe, at some point. I don't know.
1527
01:18:40,637 --> 01:18:42,179
Well, when you do, let us know
1528
01:18:42,180 --> 01:18:44,515
because maybe we can make
it an all-us-friends thing.
1529
01:18:44,516 --> 01:18:46,684
You know, we can all get in
sync together, sexually.
1530
01:18:46,685 --> 01:18:49,436
- Edward, we are not having sex.
- Sorry.
1531
01:18:49,437 --> 01:18:50,813
Ruth! Let's fuck!
1532
01:18:50,814 --> 01:18:52,981
Coming!
1533
01:18:52,982 --> 01:18:56,393
(CHUCKLING)
She keeps my head on straight.
1534
01:19:13,545 --> 01:19:15,462
(WHISPERING) Clinch Leatherwood.
1535
01:19:15,463 --> 01:19:16,547
Great.
1536
01:19:16,548 --> 01:19:18,841
Look at this. Another
thing that can kill us.
1537
01:19:18,842 --> 01:19:21,135
We should all just wear
coffins as clothes.
1538
01:19:21,136 --> 01:19:22,678
Shh.
1539
01:19:22,679 --> 01:19:28,050
Somebody in this wee shithole
of a town is going to die.
1540
01:19:28,309 --> 01:19:34,064
One of my boys saw a man
kissing my wife last night.
1541
01:19:34,065 --> 01:19:36,025
I want to know who it was.
1542
01:19:36,026 --> 01:19:37,693
Oh, man!
1543
01:19:37,694 --> 01:19:41,155
Somebody's gonna get fucked up.
1544
01:19:41,156 --> 01:19:43,866
Now, you all seem like good folk.
1545
01:19:43,867 --> 01:19:48,528
And good folk know better than
to take what isn't theirs.
1546
01:19:48,830 --> 01:19:51,698
And this... (WHISTLES)
1547
01:19:59,924 --> 01:20:02,751
This is mine.
1548
01:20:04,262 --> 01:20:07,556
So, I'm going to ask one more time.
1549
01:20:07,557 --> 01:20:10,467
Who was it?
1550
01:20:10,894 --> 01:20:13,303
Mmm?
1551
01:20:15,523 --> 01:20:17,891
Who?
1552
01:20:20,278 --> 01:20:22,646
(CROWD GASPS)
1553
01:20:24,866 --> 01:20:27,242
Now, you make sure he
gets this message.
1554
01:20:27,243 --> 01:20:32,081
Either he meets me outside in the
main thoroughfare at noon tomorrow
1555
01:20:32,082 --> 01:20:34,416
or I start killing more people.
1556
01:20:34,417 --> 01:20:36,952
All right? (SCOFFS)
1557
01:20:43,760 --> 01:20:46,628
Albert, you gotta get out of here.
1558
01:21:05,156 --> 01:21:07,116
(HORSE NEIGHS)
1559
01:21:07,117 --> 01:21:08,784
(HUFFS)
1560
01:21:08,785 --> 01:21:13,414
Boys, there's an abandoned sod
house back around that bend.
1561
01:21:13,415 --> 01:21:14,957
We'll stash the gold there.
1562
01:21:14,958 --> 01:21:17,167
Ben, you take the men
and set up camp.
1563
01:21:17,168 --> 01:21:19,712
I need some alone
time with my wife.
1564
01:21:19,713 --> 01:21:20,796
Got it, Clinch.
1565
01:21:20,797 --> 01:21:22,965
Let's go, boys. Come on!
1566
01:21:22,966 --> 01:21:25,834
Go on, get down.
1567
01:21:29,764 --> 01:21:30,848
(GROANS)
1568
01:21:30,849 --> 01:21:32,641
Who was it?
1569
01:21:32,642 --> 01:21:34,184
Huh?
1570
01:21:34,185 --> 01:21:35,978
Mark Twain.
1571
01:21:35,979 --> 01:21:37,771
What? Is it?
1572
01:21:37,772 --> 01:21:40,983
Jesus. How fucking stupid are you?
1573
01:21:40,984 --> 01:21:42,151
Whoa! Whoa! Whoa!
1574
01:21:42,152 --> 01:21:43,444
Who?
1575
01:21:43,445 --> 01:21:44,945
(EXHALING)
1576
01:21:44,946 --> 01:21:47,114
I'm not gonna ask you again. Who?
1577
01:21:47,115 --> 01:21:51,368
Okay, it's... It's Sheriff Brady.
But please, please, please.
1578
01:21:51,369 --> 01:21:54,621
I'm begging you.
Don't hurt him, okay?
1579
01:21:54,622 --> 01:21:56,457
After all the lovely years
we've been together
1580
01:21:56,458 --> 01:21:58,334
you think I don't know
when you're lying?
1581
01:21:58,335 --> 01:22:01,036
- I'm not.
- (BARKING)
1582
01:22:03,006 --> 01:22:05,707
Plugger.
1583
01:22:06,801 --> 01:22:10,554
Tell me who it is or Plugger gets
plugged between his pretty eyes.
1584
01:22:10,555 --> 01:22:13,757
- Come on, Clinch.
- You think I'm joking?
1585
01:22:13,892 --> 01:22:16,101
Whoa! Whoa! Whoa! Okay, okay, okay.
1586
01:22:16,102 --> 01:22:17,311
Who?
1587
01:22:17,312 --> 01:22:19,721
(SIGHS)
1588
01:22:21,483 --> 01:22:23,692
It's Albert Stark.
1589
01:22:23,693 --> 01:22:26,645
Albert Stark.
1590
01:22:26,696 --> 01:22:29,565
That's better.
1591
01:22:32,077 --> 01:22:34,244
I've been keeping it nice and soft.
1592
01:22:34,245 --> 01:22:36,738
See?
1593
01:22:40,251 --> 01:22:43,045
(MOANING)
1594
01:22:43,046 --> 01:22:44,129
Mmm!
1595
01:22:44,130 --> 01:22:48,050
I've missed you, baby.
Oh, I've missed you a lot.
1596
01:22:48,051 --> 01:22:49,218
(COUGHS)
1597
01:22:49,219 --> 01:22:53,347
The longer the ride,
the lonelier a man gets.
1598
01:22:53,348 --> 01:22:56,016
And he needs the comforting touch
1599
01:22:56,017 --> 01:23:00,229
of the woman he loves to
soothe his tired bones.
1600
01:23:00,230 --> 01:23:02,231
And now, I'm here,
1601
01:23:02,232 --> 01:23:03,899
you're here,
1602
01:23:03,900 --> 01:23:06,860
and we have time to
be husband and wife.
1603
01:23:06,861 --> 01:23:08,070
The proper way.
1604
01:23:08,071 --> 01:23:09,571
Hey, asshole.
1605
01:23:09,572 --> 01:23:11,899
(GRUNTS)
1606
01:23:14,244 --> 01:23:16,537
(HUFFS)
1607
01:23:16,538 --> 01:23:18,989
(GRUNTS)
1608
01:23:21,418 --> 01:23:22,626
Oh, shit.
1609
01:23:22,627 --> 01:23:25,787
I can't leave him like that.
1610
01:23:35,598 --> 01:23:37,799
That's better.
1611
01:23:50,196 --> 01:23:52,814
(HORSE APPROACHING)
1612
01:24:08,506 --> 01:24:09,631
(POUNDING ON DOOR)
1613
01:24:09,632 --> 01:24:12,251
ANNA: Albert?
1614
01:24:14,846 --> 01:24:16,305
Albert!
1615
01:24:16,306 --> 01:24:17,765
Albert, you gotta get out of here.
1616
01:24:17,766 --> 01:24:19,683
Yeah, that's... That's
what I'm doing.
1617
01:24:19,684 --> 01:24:21,310
No, no, no. Like, right now.
1618
01:24:21,311 --> 01:24:22,770
Clinch is gonna be looking for you.
1619
01:24:22,771 --> 01:24:24,438
Yeah, I'm leaving.
1620
01:24:24,439 --> 01:24:26,065
Uh, I'm going to San Francisco.
1621
01:24:26,066 --> 01:24:29,985
Just what I should
have done a week ago.
1622
01:24:29,986 --> 01:24:31,195
I'm so sorry.
1623
01:24:31,196 --> 01:24:33,447
Yeah, well, you know, so am I.
1624
01:24:33,448 --> 01:24:35,115
What about your dad?
1625
01:24:35,116 --> 01:24:37,743
I asked him if he wanted
to come, and he said no.
1626
01:24:37,744 --> 01:24:41,196
He's up on the hill, burying
himself next to Mom.
1627
01:24:42,374 --> 01:24:43,749
Look, I never meant to mislead...
1628
01:24:43,750 --> 01:24:44,833
Okay, you know what, Anna?
1629
01:24:44,834 --> 01:24:46,710
Don't even waste my time, okay?
1630
01:24:46,711 --> 01:24:47,836
Don't even waste my time.
1631
01:24:47,837 --> 01:24:51,507
You had a million opportunities to
tell me, and you just fucking lied.
1632
01:24:51,508 --> 01:24:52,633
I didn't lie.
1633
01:24:52,634 --> 01:24:53,759
What would you call it?
1634
01:24:53,760 --> 01:24:57,012
You're married to the most
vicious killer in the territory.
1635
01:24:57,013 --> 01:24:59,723
You don't think maybe that's
something you should have told me?
1636
01:24:59,724 --> 01:25:02,017
I didn't tell you because I
was trying to protect you.
1637
01:25:02,018 --> 01:25:04,353
Oh, bullshit! You were looking
out for your own self-interest.
1638
01:25:04,354 --> 01:25:07,231
And because I liked you.
1639
01:25:07,232 --> 01:25:10,192
I didn't want to scare you away.
1640
01:25:10,193 --> 01:25:12,736
I never thought I'd meet
someone like you, Albert.
1641
01:25:12,737 --> 01:25:14,905
What, somebody who hasn't killed
people? Somebody like that?
1642
01:25:14,906 --> 01:25:16,198
Yeah, that's really hard to find.
1643
01:25:16,199 --> 01:25:17,366
That's why women are always going,
1644
01:25:17,367 --> 01:25:20,536
"Oh, my God. Why are all
the non-murderers taken?"
1645
01:25:20,537 --> 01:25:22,204
Hey. It's not my fault, all right?
1646
01:25:22,205 --> 01:25:24,039
We were married when I was nine.
1647
01:25:24,040 --> 01:25:26,125
Nine? (SCOFFS)
1648
01:25:26,126 --> 01:25:28,085
How does that even work?
Was there a ceremony?
1649
01:25:28,086 --> 01:25:29,211
Yeah, of course there was a...
1650
01:25:29,212 --> 01:25:31,547
My parents were there,
and a couple of neighbors.
1651
01:25:31,548 --> 01:25:33,007
I just didn't want to end
up like one of those
1652
01:25:33,008 --> 01:25:35,968
15-year-old spinsters, you know?
1653
01:25:35,969 --> 01:25:38,053
You know, I don't even know...
1654
01:25:38,054 --> 01:25:40,639
I don't even know
why I'm surprised.
1655
01:25:40,640 --> 01:25:43,892
Every girl that I ever fall in love
with ends up disappointing me.
1656
01:25:43,893 --> 01:25:47,596
And every time, I'm surprised.
1657
01:25:49,315 --> 01:25:50,649
You love me?
1658
01:25:50,650 --> 01:25:52,985
Oh, you know what?
I'm over it. You can go.
1659
01:25:52,986 --> 01:25:54,611
All right. I lied, fine.
1660
01:25:54,612 --> 01:25:56,905
What was I supposed
to say, Albert? Tell me.
1661
01:25:56,906 --> 01:25:58,657
Was I supposed to go,
"Oh hi, I'm Anna!
1662
01:25:58,658 --> 01:26:00,325
"I've been fucking a
killer since I was 10"?
1663
01:26:00,326 --> 01:26:02,286
Oh, he waited a year?
What a gentleman.
1664
01:26:02,287 --> 01:26:03,787
Well, late nine. I rounded it up.
1665
01:26:03,788 --> 01:26:05,205
It doesn't matter.
I'm done with him.
1666
01:26:05,206 --> 01:26:08,667
I knocked him out, and I stuck
a daisy in his asshole.
1667
01:26:08,668 --> 01:26:10,419
You what?
1668
01:26:10,420 --> 01:26:13,172
That's how much you mean to me.
1669
01:26:13,173 --> 01:26:15,749
You know,
1670
01:26:16,176 --> 01:26:21,255
I loved a girl who
doesn't even exist.
1671
01:26:21,431 --> 01:26:24,475
Is your name even Anna? Huh?
1672
01:26:24,476 --> 01:26:26,602
Or is it something
terrible, like Gwendolyn?
1673
01:26:26,603 --> 01:26:31,857
My name is Anna. I'm that
same girl you fell in love with.
1674
01:26:31,858 --> 01:26:34,643
That was the real me.
1675
01:26:34,861 --> 01:26:39,073
Possibly for the first
time in my entire life.
1676
01:26:39,074 --> 01:26:40,866
I just didn't think I
deserved a good guy.
1677
01:26:40,867 --> 01:26:44,111
But you know what? I do.
1678
01:26:46,873 --> 01:26:49,449
I love you.
1679
01:26:56,091 --> 01:26:57,966
(SHEEP BLEATING)
1680
01:26:57,967 --> 01:27:00,627
(HORSES APPROACHING)
1681
01:27:04,432 --> 01:27:05,766
It's Clinch.
1682
01:27:05,767 --> 01:27:08,719
Oh, shit.
1683
01:27:08,728 --> 01:27:10,187
There's a trail out back
that leads out to the ridge.
1684
01:27:10,188 --> 01:27:11,522
Go.
1685
01:27:11,523 --> 01:27:14,516
- He's gonna kill...
- Anna, just go!
1686
01:27:15,860 --> 01:27:21,148
Albert, he always shoots on "two."
1687
01:27:23,451 --> 01:27:25,861
(BLEATING)
1688
01:27:37,549 --> 01:27:40,209
(HORSE NEIGHS)
1689
01:27:40,844 --> 01:27:41,927
(HUFFS)
1690
01:27:41,928 --> 01:27:46,006
Enoch, Jordy, look
after the horses.
1691
01:28:06,828 --> 01:28:08,454
He ain't here, Clinch.
1692
01:28:08,455 --> 01:28:12,991
Oh, he's around. He's around.
1693
01:28:18,715 --> 01:28:20,716
Stark!
1694
01:28:20,717 --> 01:28:23,710
I know you're here, Stark!
1695
01:28:23,720 --> 01:28:27,798
Ben, check the outhouse.
Lewis, the shed.
1696
01:28:41,905 --> 01:28:44,606
(BLEATING)
1697
01:29:06,471 --> 01:29:09,089
(GASPING)
1698
01:29:10,684 --> 01:29:13,176
(GUN COCKS)
1699
01:29:18,274 --> 01:29:20,109
Lewis.
1700
01:29:20,110 --> 01:29:22,194
Sometime this week, yeah?
1701
01:29:22,195 --> 01:29:24,646
Sorry, boss.
1702
01:29:30,036 --> 01:29:32,321
(GUN COCKS)
1703
01:29:38,420 --> 01:29:40,621
(BLEATING)
1704
01:29:57,689 --> 01:29:59,398
Hey!
1705
01:29:59,399 --> 01:30:02,351
There he goes! Boss!
1706
01:30:06,197 --> 01:30:08,398
Shit.
1707
01:30:11,161 --> 01:30:13,695
- Get him!
- (HORSE NEIGHING)
1708
01:30:32,015 --> 01:30:34,216
Hyah!
1709
01:30:49,407 --> 01:30:51,692
(TRAIN HORN BLOWS)
1710
01:30:59,751 --> 01:31:02,035
(GRUNTING)
1711
01:31:04,089 --> 01:31:05,923
(TRAIN HORN BLOWS)
1712
01:31:05,924 --> 01:31:08,125
Hyah!
1713
01:31:21,731 --> 01:31:23,482
Ha!
1714
01:31:23,483 --> 01:31:26,476
(TRAIN HORN BLOWING)
1715
01:31:32,867 --> 01:31:35,068
(HORSE NEIGHS)
1716
01:31:48,591 --> 01:31:50,959
(HUFFS)
1717
01:31:57,225 --> 01:32:00,227
What in the hell do we do now?
1718
01:32:00,228 --> 01:32:03,263
He'll be back.
1719
01:32:17,746 --> 01:32:21,331
Ah, Curtis. That was
exceptional, buddy.
1720
01:32:21,332 --> 01:32:22,499
I tell you,
1721
01:32:22,500 --> 01:32:24,960
when we get out of this, I'm
gonna get you some horse whores.
1722
01:32:24,961 --> 01:32:26,170
Sound good?
1723
01:32:26,171 --> 01:32:27,629
Get you whatever you want.
1724
01:32:27,630 --> 01:32:29,757
Can even get you a cow,
if you want one of those.
1725
01:32:29,758 --> 01:32:31,342
Want to fuck a cow?
1726
01:32:31,343 --> 01:32:34,386
You seem like a pretty
sexually adventurous guy.
1727
01:32:34,387 --> 01:32:36,880
(BREATHING HEAVILY)
1728
01:32:40,477 --> 01:32:44,012
Now, how the fuck
do you make a fire?
1729
01:32:46,232 --> 01:32:48,400
EDWARD:
Are you sure you want to do this?
1730
01:32:48,401 --> 01:32:50,569
RUTH: Yes, I'm absolutely sure.
1731
01:32:50,570 --> 01:32:53,322
EDWARD: Wow, I can't believe we're
actually gonna have sex. (CHUCKLES)
1732
01:32:53,323 --> 01:32:56,575
RUTH: Eddie, with Clinch Leatherwood
in town, we could all die tomorrow.
1733
01:32:56,576 --> 01:32:58,994
So, under the circumstances,
1734
01:32:58,995 --> 01:33:01,330
I think God will forgive us.
1735
01:33:01,331 --> 01:33:02,998
Okay, here we go.
1736
01:33:02,999 --> 01:33:04,041
Are you excited?
1737
01:33:04,042 --> 01:33:05,834
Yeah, this is my first vagina.
1738
01:33:05,835 --> 01:33:07,336
You've never seen one?
1739
01:33:07,337 --> 01:33:09,755
No. I feel like I should have
a piece of cake or something.
1740
01:33:09,756 --> 01:33:10,839
Okay, you ready?
1741
01:33:10,840 --> 01:33:13,166
- Yeah.
- Okay.
1742
01:33:17,013 --> 01:33:19,548
(SOFTLY) Okay.
1743
01:33:21,267 --> 01:33:23,719
What?
1744
01:33:24,020 --> 01:33:25,854
Are you in pain right now?
1745
01:33:25,855 --> 01:33:26,897
You don't like it.
1746
01:33:26,898 --> 01:33:28,399
No, I love it!
1747
01:33:28,400 --> 01:33:29,983
Yeah, yeah, it's just...
1748
01:33:29,984 --> 01:33:31,527
(CHUCKLING)
1749
01:33:31,528 --> 01:33:34,613
It looks like a firecracker
wrapped in roast beef.
1750
01:33:34,614 --> 01:33:36,365
Yeah, but there's more to it.
1751
01:33:36,366 --> 01:33:38,325
That's just the outside.
There's folds.
1752
01:33:38,326 --> 01:33:40,202
Okay! I'm gonna close
the Bible now.
1753
01:33:40,203 --> 01:33:42,204
Eddie, it's supposed
to be like that.
1754
01:33:42,205 --> 01:33:43,539
It is?
1755
01:33:43,540 --> 01:33:45,374
It's gonna feel good.
1756
01:33:45,375 --> 01:33:46,500
(CHUCKLES)
1757
01:33:46,501 --> 01:33:48,711
I'm really glad I didn't
have that piece of cake.
1758
01:33:48,712 --> 01:33:50,504
(BOTH LAUGHING)
1759
01:33:50,505 --> 01:33:52,923
Oh, okay.
1760
01:33:52,924 --> 01:33:54,550
Okay, ready?
1761
01:33:54,551 --> 01:33:56,427
This is gonna be good.
You're gonna like this.
1762
01:33:56,428 --> 01:33:58,095
EDWARD: Okay, easy, now.
1763
01:33:58,096 --> 01:33:59,888
Sorry. This is...
1764
01:33:59,889 --> 01:34:01,432
Yeah. Wow.
1765
01:34:01,433 --> 01:34:02,766
Okay, is that...
1766
01:34:02,767 --> 01:34:04,059
- Right there?
- RUTH: Yeah.
1767
01:34:04,060 --> 01:34:07,512
EDWARD: Sure, okay. Wow.
1768
01:34:07,897 --> 01:34:09,273
(MOANING)
1769
01:34:09,274 --> 01:34:12,067
Okay, I get it. It's
pretty big, right?
1770
01:34:12,068 --> 01:34:13,569
RUTH: Yeah, you're huge!
1771
01:34:13,570 --> 01:34:14,903
EDWARD: No, I meant you.
1772
01:34:14,904 --> 01:34:16,530
(KNOCK ON DOOR)
1773
01:34:16,531 --> 01:34:18,732
(GRUNTS)
1774
01:34:22,746 --> 01:34:24,329
- Anna!
- Ruth, can I come in?
1775
01:34:24,330 --> 01:34:26,949
Sure.
1776
01:34:33,089 --> 01:34:35,541
(WHISPERING) Clinch is out there.
1777
01:34:44,684 --> 01:34:46,685
He's coming up the stairs!
1778
01:34:46,686 --> 01:34:48,929
Shit!
1779
01:35:03,244 --> 01:35:06,738
Please don't shoot us on sex night.
1780
01:35:20,470 --> 01:35:22,671
(GASPS)
1781
01:35:24,599 --> 01:35:27,885
You and I have a problem.
1782
01:35:31,106 --> 01:35:34,141
(BREATHING DEEPLY)
1783
01:35:43,702 --> 01:35:45,903
(GASPS)
1784
01:35:51,292 --> 01:35:52,793
Oh, shit.
1785
01:35:52,794 --> 01:35:53,961
(IN NATIVE LANGUAGE)
1786
01:35:53,962 --> 01:35:56,839
Because your people are
such huge assholes,
1787
01:35:56,840 --> 01:36:00,050
I am going to light you on fire.
1788
01:36:00,051 --> 01:36:02,252
(BREATHING HEAVILY)
1789
01:36:04,514 --> 01:36:06,715
Stop!
1790
01:36:10,603 --> 01:36:16,984
How is it that you, an asshole, have
the power to speak our language?
1791
01:36:16,985 --> 01:36:20,195
I am a nerd asshole.
1792
01:36:20,196 --> 01:36:25,743
Since the other white assholes do not
like me, I have always kept to myself.
1793
01:36:25,744 --> 01:36:31,623
Therefore, I have read many books, know
many languages, and am good at math.
1794
01:36:31,624 --> 01:36:35,377
Why are you out here?
1795
01:36:35,378 --> 01:36:39,214
Please untie me,
and I will tell you.
1796
01:36:39,215 --> 01:36:45,429
Well, he speaks our language, which means
there's no reason not to trust him.
1797
01:36:45,430 --> 01:36:47,881
(SIGHS)
1798
01:36:50,143 --> 01:36:54,438
So I escaped on the train, and the next
thing I remember is waking up in your camp.
1799
01:36:54,439 --> 01:36:58,100
And now I have no idea what to do.
1800
01:36:59,319 --> 01:37:03,188
I will show you the way.
1801
01:37:09,704 --> 01:37:11,372
What is it?
1802
01:37:11,373 --> 01:37:13,290
Your path.
1803
01:37:13,291 --> 01:37:14,500
(PEOPLE MURMURING)
1804
01:37:14,501 --> 01:37:16,335
I'll freak out, I know it.
1805
01:37:16,336 --> 01:37:19,046
You won't freak out, I swear.
1806
01:37:19,047 --> 01:37:21,423
I'm very sensitive to drugs.
1807
01:37:21,424 --> 01:37:23,258
You fuckin' nerd!
1808
01:37:23,259 --> 01:37:26,387
Nerd! Dork! Tool!
1809
01:37:26,388 --> 01:37:29,172
Fine!
1810
01:37:33,937 --> 01:37:36,605
(TALKING INDISTINCTLY)
1811
01:37:36,606 --> 01:37:38,941
He drank the whole bowl!
1812
01:37:38,942 --> 01:37:40,067
What?
1813
01:37:40,068 --> 01:37:42,277
You drank the whole bowl!
1814
01:37:42,278 --> 01:37:44,613
Oh shit! Oh shit! Is that bad?
1815
01:37:44,614 --> 01:37:48,534
That was for the entire tribe!
1816
01:37:48,535 --> 01:37:55,198
You're totally gonna freak
out and probably die.
1817
01:37:55,208 --> 01:37:57,409
(SIGHS)
1818
01:38:04,342 --> 01:38:07,302
It's coming. I see it, I see it.
1819
01:38:07,303 --> 01:38:09,972
(BABY COOING)
1820
01:38:09,973 --> 01:38:11,974
It's a boy, Mr. Stark.
1821
01:38:11,975 --> 01:38:13,642
All right.
1822
01:38:13,643 --> 01:38:16,311
Well, don't you want
to come hold the baby?
1823
01:38:16,312 --> 01:38:18,480
Fuck off.
1824
01:38:18,481 --> 01:38:20,274
Now, you put that under your pillow
1825
01:38:20,275 --> 01:38:24,770
and the tooth fairy
will leave you a penny.
1826
01:38:26,990 --> 01:38:29,775
(BIRDS CHIRPING)
1827
01:38:30,618 --> 01:38:31,702
(GASPS)
1828
01:38:31,703 --> 01:38:33,495
There ain't no tooth fairy, idiot!
1829
01:38:33,496 --> 01:38:36,823
Now, clean up that horse shit!
1830
01:38:38,335 --> 01:38:41,337
Class, please welcome
our graduation speaker,
1831
01:38:41,338 --> 01:38:44,581
President Abraham Lincoln.
1832
01:38:48,678 --> 01:38:50,721
Hiya, shmucks!
1833
01:38:50,722 --> 01:38:53,766
Four score and seven years ago,
1834
01:38:53,767 --> 01:38:55,851
I was broke,
1835
01:38:55,852 --> 01:38:57,686
just like you.
1836
01:38:57,687 --> 01:39:00,439
But now, I'm the president
1837
01:39:00,440 --> 01:39:03,734
and I'm so fucking rich.
1838
01:39:03,735 --> 01:39:07,863
I can have all the licorice I want.
1839
01:39:07,864 --> 01:39:11,233
I don't think that's the
real President Lincoln.
1840
01:39:11,743 --> 01:39:12,951
ALBERT: Hey, Louise!
1841
01:39:12,952 --> 01:39:15,037
Louise, check out
this cool bike I got!
1842
01:39:15,038 --> 01:39:16,246
Hey, you want to go down to the...
1843
01:39:16,247 --> 01:39:19,324
(SCREAMING) Oh, shit!
1844
01:39:19,417 --> 01:39:21,418
- (WOMEN SCREAMING)
- No! Sorry! Sorry!
1845
01:39:21,419 --> 01:39:23,996
(SCREAMING CONTINUES)
1846
01:39:25,382 --> 01:39:27,833
No, no, no!
1847
01:39:29,761 --> 01:39:30,886
(CLAMORING)
1848
01:39:30,887 --> 01:39:31,929
Stop!
1849
01:39:31,930 --> 01:39:34,056
Get back here!
1850
01:39:34,057 --> 01:39:35,140
Shit, not again.
1851
01:39:35,141 --> 01:39:37,351
Get that son of a bitch!
1852
01:39:37,352 --> 01:39:39,761
(ALL SHOUTING)
1853
01:39:40,939 --> 01:39:43,390
(GROANING)
1854
01:39:50,907 --> 01:39:52,366
ANNA: You're an idiot.
1855
01:39:52,367 --> 01:39:55,869
How can you be so blind
with eyes that big?
1856
01:39:55,870 --> 01:39:58,789
They're not that big.
1857
01:39:58,790 --> 01:40:00,624
(SCREAMING)
1858
01:40:00,625 --> 01:40:03,544
- FOY: Pardon me, Albert.
- (PANTING)
1859
01:40:03,545 --> 01:40:07,423
The lads and I have prepared
something special for you.
1860
01:40:07,424 --> 01:40:09,958
(FOLK MUSIC PLAYING)
1861
01:40:10,802 --> 01:40:13,303
You may not have the looks
1862
01:40:13,304 --> 01:40:14,888
You may not have the dash
1863
01:40:14,889 --> 01:40:16,807
But you'll win yourself a girl
1864
01:40:16,808 --> 01:40:18,559
If you've only got a moustache
1865
01:40:18,560 --> 01:40:20,811
A moustache
A moustache
1866
01:40:20,812 --> 01:40:24,264
If you've only got a moustache
1867
01:40:33,992 --> 01:40:37,077
We are the guardians of the future.
1868
01:40:37,078 --> 01:40:39,863
Enter when ready.
1869
01:40:44,794 --> 01:40:47,371
- (HISSES)
- (GASPS)
1870
01:41:13,531 --> 01:41:15,983
(LOUD THUD)
1871
01:41:16,159 --> 01:41:18,735
(SCREECHING)
1872
01:41:32,008 --> 01:41:34,376
Stark!
1873
01:41:34,469 --> 01:41:36,920
(SHRIEKING)
1874
01:41:37,097 --> 01:41:39,548
(GASPING)
1875
01:41:45,939 --> 01:41:47,022
(IN NATIVE LANGUAGE)
1876
01:41:47,023 --> 01:41:53,904
Did you shoot the black condor
and kick it in the balls?
1877
01:41:53,905 --> 01:41:56,615
Yes.
1878
01:41:56,616 --> 01:41:59,368
How do you know that?
1879
01:41:59,369 --> 01:42:04,156
It means that true courage
does indeed lie within you.
1880
01:42:05,000 --> 01:42:11,413
If you can trust its power...
then you may yet find happiness.
1881
01:42:12,298 --> 01:42:14,625
(SIGHS)
1882
01:42:20,849 --> 01:42:24,977
Thank you for everything,
Chief Cochise. I am in your debt.
1883
01:42:24,978 --> 01:42:28,063
There is an ancient
proverb among my people:
1884
01:42:28,064 --> 01:42:31,775
Sometimes the only way for a
man to find true happiness...
1885
01:42:31,776 --> 01:42:34,737
is to take drugs in a group.
1886
01:42:34,738 --> 01:42:40,275
Thank you for letting me take drugs
with you. I know what I have to do now.
1887
01:42:57,594 --> 01:42:59,878
(ANNA GRUNTS)
1888
01:43:05,769 --> 01:43:06,852
(BARKS)
1889
01:43:06,853 --> 01:43:09,772
All right, sweetheart.
1890
01:43:09,773 --> 01:43:13,567
Let's find out if your wee
boyfriend gives a shit about you.
1891
01:43:13,568 --> 01:43:16,070
He's got
1892
01:43:16,071 --> 01:43:18,572
six minutes till noon.
1893
01:43:18,573 --> 01:43:20,115
And if he doesn't show,
1894
01:43:20,116 --> 01:43:24,536
he'll be picking up pieces
of you all over the street.
1895
01:43:24,537 --> 01:43:26,863
Stark!
1896
01:43:42,222 --> 01:43:45,757
Oh, look who's here.
1897
01:43:54,651 --> 01:43:56,852
(GROANS)
1898
01:44:03,118 --> 01:44:04,618
Let her go, Clinch.
1899
01:44:04,619 --> 01:44:08,872
Well, now, true love conquers
all, doesn't it, sweetheart?
1900
01:44:08,873 --> 01:44:10,499
Let her go,
1901
01:44:10,500 --> 01:44:12,668
and let's you and me just
settle this like adults.
1902
01:44:12,669 --> 01:44:15,037
(LAUGHING)
1903
01:44:15,255 --> 01:44:16,630
Lewis, Ben.
1904
01:44:16,631 --> 01:44:19,508
- Come and take this whore.
- Albert.
1905
01:44:19,509 --> 01:44:22,261
Don't be stupid, Albert!
Get out of here!
1906
01:44:22,262 --> 01:44:23,595
Get out of here!
1907
01:44:23,596 --> 01:44:24,972
Too late for that.
1908
01:44:24,973 --> 01:44:27,016
He's already been stupid.
1909
01:44:27,017 --> 01:44:28,767
Haven't you, Albert?
1910
01:44:28,768 --> 01:44:31,186
You've been with my wife.
1911
01:44:31,187 --> 01:44:33,564
Well, we haven't actually done it,
1912
01:44:33,565 --> 01:44:36,817
if that makes any
kind of a difference.
1913
01:44:36,818 --> 01:44:39,153
Okay, look, look, look.
Here's my idea, okay?
1914
01:44:39,154 --> 01:44:41,030
You're a pretty tough guy, yeah?
1915
01:44:41,031 --> 01:44:42,281
Why don't you prove it?
1916
01:44:42,282 --> 01:44:46,702
Gunfight. You and me.
Right here. Right now.
1917
01:44:46,703 --> 01:44:48,454
(CHUCKLES)
1918
01:44:48,455 --> 01:44:51,373
You really do have a
death wish, don't you?
1919
01:44:51,374 --> 01:44:54,668
Yeah, I guess you'll have
to find that out, huh?
1920
01:44:54,669 --> 01:44:56,870
Uh-huh.
1921
01:45:00,884 --> 01:45:03,585
Take out your gun.
1922
01:45:06,431 --> 01:45:07,598
Point it at me.
1923
01:45:07,599 --> 01:45:09,800
(SOFTLY) No.
1924
01:45:12,520 --> 01:45:14,229
Good boy.
1925
01:45:14,230 --> 01:45:18,267
Now, we shoot on three.
1926
01:45:19,986 --> 01:45:21,945
One.
1927
01:45:21,946 --> 01:45:24,073
(GASPS)
1928
01:45:24,074 --> 01:45:26,367
(LAUGHING)
1929
01:45:26,368 --> 01:45:27,493
(GROANS)
1930
01:45:27,494 --> 01:45:28,702
(WHIMPERS)
1931
01:45:28,703 --> 01:45:30,746
I've been playing cards a long time
1932
01:45:30,747 --> 01:45:32,748
and I would never have
bet on that, Stark.
1933
01:45:32,749 --> 01:45:35,158
Where'd you learn to shoot?
1934
01:45:35,168 --> 01:45:36,377
Your wife.
1935
01:45:36,378 --> 01:45:39,037
Oh, snap!
1936
01:45:39,047 --> 01:45:41,415
Holy fuck.
1937
01:45:41,716 --> 01:45:43,509
Okay, look, look, look!
Before you kill me,
1938
01:45:43,510 --> 01:45:45,552
just grant me a few
last words. All right?
1939
01:45:45,553 --> 01:45:47,763
Make it quick.
1940
01:45:47,764 --> 01:45:49,682
Let Anna live.
1941
01:45:49,683 --> 01:45:51,100
All right?
1942
01:45:51,101 --> 01:45:52,267
Let her live.
1943
01:45:52,268 --> 01:45:53,644
This is not her fault.
1944
01:45:53,645 --> 01:45:55,688
I kissed her, she didn't
kiss me, all right?
1945
01:45:55,689 --> 01:45:57,815
It's not her fault.
1946
01:45:57,816 --> 01:45:59,608
I mean, she didn't tell
me she was married,
1947
01:45:59,609 --> 01:46:01,402
so it's a little bit
her fault, I guess.
1948
01:46:01,403 --> 01:46:02,945
So, yeah, I guess
that's kind of true.
1949
01:46:02,946 --> 01:46:06,031
So, maybe just shoot
her in the arm.
1950
01:46:06,032 --> 01:46:07,116
What the...
1951
01:46:07,117 --> 01:46:08,701
And one more thing.
1952
01:46:08,702 --> 01:46:10,828
Um, my grandparents were Arabic.
1953
01:46:10,829 --> 01:46:13,288
So, I'm required by
Muslim tradition
1954
01:46:13,289 --> 01:46:16,250
to recite the Islamic death
chant immediately before dying.
1955
01:46:16,251 --> 01:46:18,127
This will only take a moment.
1956
01:46:18,128 --> 01:46:20,829
(CHANTING)
1957
01:46:37,772 --> 01:46:39,973
(CREAKS)
1958
01:46:41,151 --> 01:46:42,484
Hey, what's the matter, Clinch?
1959
01:46:42,485 --> 01:46:44,153
You not feeling well?
1960
01:46:44,154 --> 01:46:45,821
You okay, boss?
1961
01:46:45,822 --> 01:46:47,656
What's happening to me?
1962
01:46:47,657 --> 01:46:51,493
You know, there are a million
ways to die in the West, Clinch.
1963
01:46:51,494 --> 01:46:54,830
There's, uh, famine,
disease, gunfights.
1964
01:46:54,831 --> 01:46:58,417
And, uh, wild animals.
You know, like snakes.
1965
01:46:58,418 --> 01:46:59,918
And, you know, the funny thing is,
1966
01:46:59,919 --> 01:47:01,795
you don't even have to get bitten.
1967
01:47:01,796 --> 01:47:03,589
All you need is a
little bit of the venom
1968
01:47:03,590 --> 01:47:05,341
introduced into your bloodstream
1969
01:47:05,342 --> 01:47:07,426
and you're pretty much screwed.
1970
01:47:07,427 --> 01:47:10,346
For example, if you drain
a certain amount of venom
1971
01:47:10,347 --> 01:47:12,765
from the fangs of a diamondback
rattler into a hollow-tip bullet,
1972
01:47:12,766 --> 01:47:14,683
you really only need one shot.
1973
01:47:14,684 --> 01:47:18,270
Now, I knew my aim wasn't good enough
to hit you anywhere important.
1974
01:47:18,271 --> 01:47:20,356
But if I caught you by surprise...
1975
01:47:20,357 --> 01:47:23,359
Well, Anna taught me just enough
to get me in the ballpark.
1976
01:47:23,360 --> 01:47:25,778
And just a small amount
of venom in an open wound
1977
01:47:25,779 --> 01:47:27,321
is enough to kill a man if he's...
1978
01:47:27,322 --> 01:47:29,198
RUTH: Albert.
1979
01:47:29,199 --> 01:47:32,326
He's dead. You did it.
1980
01:47:32,327 --> 01:47:33,494
Oh.
1981
01:47:33,495 --> 01:47:34,995
Yeah.
1982
01:47:34,996 --> 01:47:37,414
Did he hear all that
smart stuff I did?
1983
01:47:37,415 --> 01:47:38,540
Uh...
1984
01:47:38,541 --> 01:47:40,959
No. No, I don't think so.
1985
01:47:40,960 --> 01:47:42,086
Oh.
1986
01:47:42,087 --> 01:47:43,337
Well, it was still good, though.
1987
01:47:43,338 --> 01:47:44,463
Yeah, it was great.
1988
01:47:44,464 --> 01:47:46,256
I thought it was really good.
1989
01:47:46,257 --> 01:47:47,549
(GRUNTING)
1990
01:47:47,550 --> 01:47:48,676
(GROANS IN PAIN)
1991
01:47:48,677 --> 01:47:49,802
MAN: Stop!
1992
01:47:49,803 --> 01:47:52,504
Albert!
1993
01:48:02,315 --> 01:48:03,565
I'm really horny right now.
1994
01:48:03,566 --> 01:48:04,817
(GIGGLING)
1995
01:48:04,818 --> 01:48:08,020
Let's go in the shade and fuck.
1996
01:48:08,363 --> 01:48:09,571
(MURMURING)
1997
01:48:09,572 --> 01:48:11,156
Well done, sheep boy.
1998
01:48:11,157 --> 01:48:13,367
(SIGHS)
Hey, sorry I killed your husband.
1999
01:48:13,368 --> 01:48:15,911
Oh, God. That was never
gonna work out anyway.
2000
01:48:15,912 --> 01:48:17,579
He's Methodist, I'm half-Jewish.
2001
01:48:17,580 --> 01:48:20,082
- (LAUGHING) Are you? You are?
- No!
2002
01:48:20,083 --> 01:48:21,333
Oh, thank God!
2003
01:48:21,334 --> 01:48:23,411
- You're not really Arabic, are you?
- No, no, no.
2004
01:48:23,412 --> 01:48:25,387
Oh, thank God. Because
I was like, "Ah, kill me!"
2005
01:48:25,388 --> 01:48:27,256
I know, right? "No! Oh, my God!"
2006
01:48:27,257 --> 01:48:30,459
- No, we're fine. We're okay.
- LOUISE: Albert!
2007
01:48:30,593 --> 01:48:31,969
Hey, Louise.
2008
01:48:31,970 --> 01:48:35,764
Hey. Listen, if you want to...
2009
01:48:35,765 --> 01:48:39,810
If you want to talk about
things, I would like that.
2010
01:48:39,811 --> 01:48:44,640
I mean, I could come by your
place, like, later tonight.
2011
01:48:45,275 --> 01:48:46,942
You know, uh, Louise, I would,
2012
01:48:46,943 --> 01:48:51,647
but I really gotta go
home and work on myself.
2013
01:48:55,618 --> 01:48:57,745
ANNA:
So, you killed Clinch Leatherwood,
2014
01:48:57,746 --> 01:49:00,289
the deadliest gunman
on the frontier.
2015
01:49:00,290 --> 01:49:02,333
Yeah, I guess I did, huh?
2016
01:49:02,334 --> 01:49:03,459
(BARKS)
2017
01:49:03,460 --> 01:49:06,128
ANNA: You know, there's probably
gonna be some reward money.
2018
01:49:06,129 --> 01:49:08,964
ALBERT: You know,
I didn't think about that.
2019
01:49:08,965 --> 01:49:12,084
ANNA: What are you gonna do?
2020
01:49:44,000 --> 01:49:46,210
Step right up, folks.
Step right up!
2021
01:49:46,211 --> 01:49:49,713
Who wants to take a gander
at the shooting gallery?
2022
01:49:49,714 --> 01:49:52,541
DJANGO: I'll take a shot.
2023
01:49:57,722 --> 01:50:00,015
(CROWD GASPS)
2024
01:50:00,016 --> 01:50:01,975
People die at the fair.
2025
01:50:01,976 --> 01:50:04,803
(COUNTRY MUSIC PLAYING)
2026
01:55:38,355 --> 01:55:43,164
DJANGO: What the fuck? Somebody
bring me one of them white women.