1 00:03:09,773 --> 00:03:13,776 NARRATOR: Some people are born into the wrong time and place. 2 00:03:13,777 --> 00:03:17,112 This was the American frontier in 1882. 3 00:03:17,113 --> 00:03:19,948 A hard land for hard folk. 4 00:03:19,949 --> 00:03:21,367 Food was scarce, 5 00:03:21,368 --> 00:03:22,993 disease was rampant, 6 00:03:22,994 --> 00:03:26,163 and life was a daily struggle for survival. 7 00:03:26,164 --> 00:03:29,667 Hell, this was Miss America in 1880. 8 00:03:29,668 --> 00:03:31,960 Holy shit. 9 00:03:31,961 --> 00:03:35,964 To build a home and a life in this harsh, unforgiving country 10 00:03:35,965 --> 00:03:41,503 required that a man be bold, fearless, and tough as iron. 11 00:03:41,680 --> 00:03:43,764 The men who were courageous and resilient 12 00:03:43,765 --> 00:03:45,808 were the men who prospered. 13 00:03:45,809 --> 00:03:50,679 But some men were just big, giant pussies. 14 00:03:54,859 --> 00:03:57,352 (PANTING) 15 00:03:58,071 --> 00:03:59,988 Well, well. 16 00:03:59,989 --> 00:04:02,408 Surprised you showed up, Stark. 17 00:04:02,409 --> 00:04:04,410 Yeah, well, you said you would kill my family 18 00:04:04,411 --> 00:04:07,279 and burn my house down if I didn't, so... 19 00:04:08,832 --> 00:04:10,332 Draw. 20 00:04:10,333 --> 00:04:11,750 (ALBERT STUTTERING) 21 00:04:11,751 --> 00:04:13,836 Is there anything at all that I can say 22 00:04:13,837 --> 00:04:15,546 to get you to call this off? 23 00:04:15,547 --> 00:04:17,756 You yellow, Stark? 24 00:04:17,757 --> 00:04:21,719 Oh, okay, well, that's a little racist to our hardworking friends 25 00:04:21,720 --> 00:04:24,755 over here from the Far East, right, guys? 26 00:04:25,140 --> 00:04:26,890 Draw, you son of a bitch! 27 00:04:26,891 --> 00:04:29,852 Look, I just feel like if we can talk this out, you know, 28 00:04:29,853 --> 00:04:32,396 we can find a calm, rational solution 29 00:04:32,397 --> 00:04:35,190 and maybe we even laugh about it one day. 30 00:04:35,191 --> 00:04:37,943 I ain't in the mood to laugh, Stark! 31 00:04:37,944 --> 00:04:39,945 Look, there's always humor in any... 32 00:04:39,946 --> 00:04:42,197 Oh, hey, look. This will make you laugh. Look at our shadows. 33 00:04:42,198 --> 00:04:43,741 It looks like our shadows are about to kiss each other. 34 00:04:43,742 --> 00:04:44,825 Look at that. 35 00:04:44,826 --> 00:04:47,578 Oh, wait, watch this. Oh, my God, Charlie. Oh, my God. 36 00:04:47,579 --> 00:04:49,496 Thank you! This is so generous of you. 37 00:04:49,497 --> 00:04:50,831 (CHUCKLING) Oh, wow! This is... 38 00:04:50,832 --> 00:04:52,458 - What a terrific guy you are. - (SNICKERING) 39 00:04:52,459 --> 00:04:54,835 We barely know each other, but, hey, when it's right, it's right, huh? 40 00:04:54,836 --> 00:04:57,588 I'll give you a little tap on the hat when I'm good to go, okay? 41 00:04:57,589 --> 00:04:59,882 Look, we're laughing, right? We're laughing now. 42 00:04:59,883 --> 00:05:01,216 What were we even fighting about? 43 00:05:01,217 --> 00:05:03,418 I can't remember. Can you? 44 00:05:03,428 --> 00:05:04,928 (CROWD GASPS) 45 00:05:04,929 --> 00:05:08,015 Your goddamn sheep grazed up half my ranch, Stark. 46 00:05:08,016 --> 00:05:09,725 That grass ain't never gonna grow back! 47 00:05:09,726 --> 00:05:11,393 All right, look. How about this? 48 00:05:11,394 --> 00:05:13,395 I'll pay you the money you lost, okay? 49 00:05:13,396 --> 00:05:15,189 Just give me two days to sell off 50 00:05:15,190 --> 00:05:16,565 a few of my sheep and I'll get you the money. 51 00:05:16,566 --> 00:05:17,816 All right. Just two days. 52 00:05:17,817 --> 00:05:21,528 If I don't have that cash, I'm coming after ya. 53 00:05:21,529 --> 00:05:23,655 Okay, great. Thank you so much for your patience. 54 00:05:23,656 --> 00:05:25,324 I really appreciate it. 55 00:05:25,325 --> 00:05:27,326 And what a relief for all these people 56 00:05:27,327 --> 00:05:29,370 who came out here hoping that we would 57 00:05:29,371 --> 00:05:31,205 find an amicable solution to this, huh? 58 00:05:31,206 --> 00:05:33,374 Aw, somebody shoot some fucker! 59 00:05:33,375 --> 00:05:35,959 I took a half-day off work for this! 60 00:05:35,960 --> 00:05:37,044 Okay, I just want to point out 61 00:05:37,045 --> 00:05:39,838 that guy's an English teacher at our school. 62 00:05:39,839 --> 00:05:40,923 (GROANS) 63 00:05:40,924 --> 00:05:43,125 (ALL GASP) 64 00:05:43,259 --> 00:05:46,295 Just a little taste. 65 00:05:47,263 --> 00:05:49,965 (CROWD MURMURING) 66 00:05:58,733 --> 00:06:00,693 ALBERT: I mean, that should have been the end of it, right? 67 00:06:00,694 --> 00:06:02,236 I mean, I tell him I'll pay him off, 68 00:06:02,237 --> 00:06:03,737 we go our separate ways, and that's it. 69 00:06:03,738 --> 00:06:05,906 But, no, he shoots me in the fucking leg. 70 00:06:05,907 --> 00:06:09,985 I mean, it's just a graze, but come on, look at that. 71 00:06:11,996 --> 00:06:13,914 (EXHALES DEEPLY) 72 00:06:13,915 --> 00:06:16,533 What? 73 00:06:16,876 --> 00:06:19,912 You should have fought him. 74 00:06:20,130 --> 00:06:22,339 I should have fought him? 75 00:06:22,340 --> 00:06:24,258 You're serious. 76 00:06:24,259 --> 00:06:26,969 Louise! My God! The guy is one of the best shots around. 77 00:06:26,970 --> 00:06:29,763 - I look like I have Parkinson's next to him. - What is that? 78 00:06:29,764 --> 00:06:33,559 It's just another way God mysteriously shows that He loves us. 79 00:06:33,560 --> 00:06:35,561 But, look, it would have been suicide to fight that guy. 80 00:06:35,562 --> 00:06:38,222 Albert, I'm breaking up with you. 81 00:06:42,360 --> 00:06:44,528 What? 82 00:06:44,529 --> 00:06:47,856 Yeah. I'm sorry. 83 00:06:52,370 --> 00:06:54,496 I got shot today. 84 00:06:54,497 --> 00:06:56,540 I know. 85 00:06:56,541 --> 00:06:57,958 Wait, wait, wait. Hang on a sec. 86 00:06:57,959 --> 00:06:59,626 Louise, where is this coming from? 87 00:06:59,627 --> 00:07:01,128 Is this because of the gunfight? 88 00:07:01,129 --> 00:07:04,006 No, I've actually been feeling this way for a while. 89 00:07:04,007 --> 00:07:05,841 You're a great guy. I just... 90 00:07:05,842 --> 00:07:07,384 I realized that 91 00:07:07,385 --> 00:07:09,386 I want something else. 92 00:07:09,387 --> 00:07:12,097 Something else? Louise, it's been a year and a half! 93 00:07:12,098 --> 00:07:14,058 Look, I know I'm just a sheep farmer, but I'm saving money... 94 00:07:14,059 --> 00:07:16,060 Yeah, but you're not even a good sheep farmer, Albert. 95 00:07:16,061 --> 00:07:17,436 Your sheep are everywhere. 96 00:07:17,437 --> 00:07:19,188 The one thing a sheep farmer has to do 97 00:07:19,189 --> 00:07:21,106 is keep all of his sheep in one place, all right. 98 00:07:21,107 --> 00:07:22,858 I went to your farm the other day, 99 00:07:22,859 --> 00:07:24,360 and I saw one in the backyard, 100 00:07:24,361 --> 00:07:25,444 three way up on the ridge, 101 00:07:25,445 --> 00:07:26,820 two in the pond, and one on the roof. 102 00:07:26,821 --> 00:07:28,072 Okay, that's Bridget, all right? 103 00:07:28,073 --> 00:07:30,240 She has a problem with retardation, but she's full of love. 104 00:07:30,241 --> 00:07:31,617 Look, we're getting off track here, all right? 105 00:07:31,618 --> 00:07:34,161 Why don't you just tell me what the problem is 106 00:07:34,162 --> 00:07:35,371 and then maybe I can fix it? 107 00:07:35,372 --> 00:07:36,830 Maybe if I were older, 108 00:07:36,831 --> 00:07:38,749 the timing would be right. 109 00:07:38,750 --> 00:07:40,876 But people are living to be 35 these days 110 00:07:40,877 --> 00:07:43,087 and a girl doesn't have to just go off 111 00:07:43,088 --> 00:07:45,214 and get married right away. 112 00:07:45,215 --> 00:07:47,216 I just, I have to... 113 00:07:47,217 --> 00:07:49,259 I have to work on myself. 114 00:07:49,260 --> 00:07:50,344 Oh, my God. 115 00:07:50,345 --> 00:07:51,804 - You did not just say that. - What? 116 00:07:51,805 --> 00:07:53,013 "I have to work on myself." 117 00:07:53,014 --> 00:07:54,139 Louise, that's the oldest line in the book. 118 00:07:54,140 --> 00:07:55,224 You realize that. 119 00:07:55,225 --> 00:07:56,558 You know what, it's okay, though. 120 00:07:56,559 --> 00:07:57,893 It's all right. I know why you're saying it. 121 00:07:57,894 --> 00:08:00,270 It's because you don't want to tell me that I'm the problem. 122 00:08:00,271 --> 00:08:02,314 (SIGHS) 123 00:08:02,315 --> 00:08:05,142 Goodbye, Albert. 124 00:08:09,656 --> 00:08:13,025 Goodbye? Wait. Louise. Louise! 125 00:08:13,952 --> 00:08:15,661 I love you. 126 00:08:15,662 --> 00:08:18,655 I'm sorry. 127 00:08:31,094 --> 00:08:32,177 (MOANING) 128 00:08:32,178 --> 00:08:35,097 COWBOY: Yeah! Oh, come on, come on! 129 00:08:35,098 --> 00:08:37,266 RUTH: Yeah, yeah, yeah! 130 00:08:37,267 --> 00:08:38,892 COWBOY: You like me fucking you, don't you? 131 00:08:38,893 --> 00:08:41,228 RUTH: I do. It's really terrific. 132 00:08:41,229 --> 00:08:44,273 - COWBOY: Yeah! Oh! Ah! Yeah! - RUTH: Oh... 133 00:08:44,274 --> 00:08:47,142 (MOANING CONTINUES) 134 00:08:49,404 --> 00:08:50,612 Ah... 135 00:08:50,613 --> 00:08:51,739 Hi, Edward. 136 00:08:51,740 --> 00:08:52,823 Hi, Millie. 137 00:08:52,824 --> 00:08:54,283 You waiting for Ruth? 138 00:08:54,284 --> 00:08:57,619 Yeah, I got off work early, so I thought I'd take her out for a picnic. 139 00:08:57,620 --> 00:08:59,121 (RUTH SCREAMS) 140 00:08:59,122 --> 00:09:00,456 It sounds like she's just about done up there. 141 00:09:00,457 --> 00:09:03,792 RUTH: Shoot that dirty cowboy cum all over my face! 142 00:09:03,793 --> 00:09:04,918 Do I look okay? 143 00:09:04,919 --> 00:09:06,295 Yeah, you look good. 144 00:09:06,296 --> 00:09:07,588 - You look good. - Oh, good. 145 00:09:07,589 --> 00:09:09,715 Say, Edward, do you mind if I ask you something? 146 00:09:09,716 --> 00:09:10,799 Uh, yeah, sure. 147 00:09:10,800 --> 00:09:14,845 You're okay with your girlfriend screwing 15 different guys every day 148 00:09:14,846 --> 00:09:16,597 and getting paid to do it? 149 00:09:16,598 --> 00:09:18,807 Well, my job sucks, too. 150 00:09:18,808 --> 00:09:22,061 I know. But, I mean, you repair shoes. 151 00:09:22,062 --> 00:09:23,479 (GASPS) Eddie! 152 00:09:23,480 --> 00:09:24,688 Oh, hi, sweetie. 153 00:09:24,689 --> 00:09:26,732 What are you doing here? 154 00:09:26,733 --> 00:09:28,233 EDWARD: Well, I got off work early 155 00:09:28,234 --> 00:09:30,694 and I thought we could go for a walk by the stream. 156 00:09:30,695 --> 00:09:32,321 - (EXHALES) Oh. - Oh... 157 00:09:32,322 --> 00:09:34,031 Oh, your breath is, uh... 158 00:09:34,032 --> 00:09:35,407 Ooh! Ooh. 159 00:09:35,408 --> 00:09:37,534 - I had to give a blowjob. Sorry. - Oh, that's okay. 160 00:09:37,535 --> 00:09:38,619 It's okay. Here, I got you some flowers. 161 00:09:38,620 --> 00:09:39,703 (GASPS) 162 00:09:39,704 --> 00:09:41,663 - They're beautiful! - Yeah, come on. 163 00:09:41,664 --> 00:09:44,291 Don't I have the best boyfriend, Millie? 164 00:09:44,292 --> 00:09:46,585 Honestly, I have no fucking idea. 165 00:09:46,586 --> 00:09:47,670 Bye! 166 00:09:47,671 --> 00:09:50,673 Oh, hey, Ruthie, Clyde Hodgkins wanted to come by a little later on. 167 00:09:50,674 --> 00:09:52,007 What did he want? 168 00:09:52,008 --> 00:09:53,592 I think he wants anal. 169 00:09:53,593 --> 00:09:56,387 Oh, honey, we can afford to get you that new belt for church! 170 00:09:56,388 --> 00:09:57,513 Oh, that would be great! 171 00:09:57,514 --> 00:09:58,597 I know! 172 00:09:58,598 --> 00:10:00,391 So, like, 5:30? Does that work? 173 00:10:00,392 --> 00:10:02,351 Ah, that should work. Yeah. 174 00:10:02,352 --> 00:10:04,812 Well, what time is his appointment? 175 00:10:04,813 --> 00:10:08,065 Uh, it's really not like a dentist's office here, Edward. 176 00:10:08,066 --> 00:10:09,733 You know, he'll just come by 177 00:10:09,734 --> 00:10:12,861 when he feels like putting his penis inside an asshole. 178 00:10:12,862 --> 00:10:14,863 Yeah, so we'll just say 5:30. 179 00:10:14,864 --> 00:10:17,274 - (BOTH CHUCKLING) - Okay. 180 00:10:19,744 --> 00:10:22,654 (BLEATING) 181 00:10:30,588 --> 00:10:32,715 ALBERT: Oh, shit. 182 00:10:32,716 --> 00:10:34,883 (BLEATING) 183 00:10:34,884 --> 00:10:37,294 (HORSE HUFFS) 184 00:10:45,854 --> 00:10:48,022 You're late. 185 00:10:48,023 --> 00:10:50,107 For what? 186 00:10:50,108 --> 00:10:52,601 Fair enough. 187 00:11:09,294 --> 00:11:11,787 EDWARD: Albert. 188 00:11:12,422 --> 00:11:13,547 Hey, guys. 189 00:11:13,548 --> 00:11:15,174 We heard about Louise. 190 00:11:15,175 --> 00:11:16,925 That's horrible. 191 00:11:16,926 --> 00:11:18,594 We're so sorry, Albert. 192 00:11:18,595 --> 00:11:21,129 Do you want to sit down? 193 00:11:21,306 --> 00:11:25,142 I'm good. I'm gonna rest my asshole. 194 00:11:25,143 --> 00:11:28,604 I was just looking at these old pictures of me and Louise. 195 00:11:28,605 --> 00:11:30,356 This is from the carnival. 196 00:11:30,357 --> 00:11:32,232 EDWARD: Oh, yeah. 197 00:11:32,233 --> 00:11:34,568 ALBERT: There's the town picnic. 198 00:11:34,569 --> 00:11:35,652 RUTH: Oh. 199 00:11:35,653 --> 00:11:37,988 ALBERT: This is the square dance. 200 00:11:37,989 --> 00:11:41,241 I almost wish you could smile in photographs. 201 00:11:41,242 --> 00:11:43,619 Louise has such an amazing smile. 202 00:11:43,620 --> 00:11:45,788 - That'd be weird. - Huh? 203 00:11:45,789 --> 00:11:47,790 Have you ever smiled in a photograph? 204 00:11:47,791 --> 00:11:49,458 - No, have you? - Oh, God, no. 205 00:11:49,459 --> 00:11:51,126 No, you'd look like an insane person. 206 00:11:51,127 --> 00:11:53,295 But, it's just, you know, I've been sitting here 207 00:11:53,296 --> 00:11:55,506 trying to figure out how the hell 208 00:11:55,507 --> 00:11:57,508 I could have screwed this up. 209 00:11:57,509 --> 00:11:59,468 I did everything for her. 210 00:11:59,469 --> 00:12:01,387 If she was happy, I was happy. 211 00:12:01,388 --> 00:12:03,514 That's all I cared about. 212 00:12:03,515 --> 00:12:08,644 (SIGHS) And she was the one thing that made the shootings, 213 00:12:08,645 --> 00:12:11,647 and the diseases, and the wild animals, and the Indians, 214 00:12:11,648 --> 00:12:16,101 and the general depressing awfulness about the West 215 00:12:16,403 --> 00:12:18,854 bearable. (SIGHS) 216 00:12:19,739 --> 00:12:22,658 God, I love her so much. 217 00:12:22,659 --> 00:12:25,327 You're gonna make me cry. 218 00:12:25,328 --> 00:12:28,080 - Let's get fucked up. - Yeah. 219 00:12:28,081 --> 00:12:30,657 (COUNTRY MUSIC PLAYING) 220 00:12:31,418 --> 00:12:33,994 (INDISTINCT CHATTER) 221 00:12:37,173 --> 00:12:38,716 So, what are you gonna do? 222 00:12:38,717 --> 00:12:39,842 Uh... 223 00:12:39,843 --> 00:12:41,468 I don't know what I'm gonna do. 224 00:12:41,469 --> 00:12:42,678 Commit suicide, maybe. 225 00:12:42,679 --> 00:12:45,139 Albert, I know everything seems hopeless right now, 226 00:12:45,140 --> 00:12:48,767 but I promise you, there's so much to live for. 227 00:12:48,768 --> 00:12:50,185 Really? Is there? 228 00:12:50,186 --> 00:12:53,522 What is there to live for on the frontier in 1882? Huh? 229 00:12:53,523 --> 00:12:55,024 Look, let me tell you something. 230 00:12:55,025 --> 00:12:57,609 We live in a terrible place and time. 231 00:12:57,610 --> 00:13:01,321 The American West is a disgusting, awful, dirty, dangerous place. 232 00:13:01,322 --> 00:13:02,364 Look around you. 233 00:13:02,365 --> 00:13:05,034 Everything out here that's not you wants to kill you. 234 00:13:05,035 --> 00:13:08,537 Outlaws, angry drunk people, scorned hookers, hungry animals, 235 00:13:08,538 --> 00:13:12,041 diseases, major and minor injuries, Indians, the weather. 236 00:13:12,042 --> 00:13:13,834 You can get killed just going to the bathroom. 237 00:13:13,835 --> 00:13:16,879 I take my life in my hands every time I walk out to my outhouse. 238 00:13:16,880 --> 00:13:18,881 There's fucking rattlesnakes all in the grass out there. 239 00:13:18,882 --> 00:13:21,300 And even if I make it, you know what can kill me? 240 00:13:21,301 --> 00:13:23,135 Cholera. You know cholera? 241 00:13:23,136 --> 00:13:25,220 - The Black Shit. - The Black Shit. 242 00:13:25,221 --> 00:13:28,098 The latest offering in the frontier's disease-of-the-month club. 243 00:13:28,099 --> 00:13:30,809 And even if you survive all those things, 244 00:13:30,810 --> 00:13:32,019 you know what else can kill you? 245 00:13:32,020 --> 00:13:34,730 The fucking doctor. The doctor can kill you. 246 00:13:34,731 --> 00:13:36,357 I had a cold a couple of years ago. I went in there. 247 00:13:36,358 --> 00:13:37,566 You know what he said to me? He goes, 248 00:13:37,567 --> 00:13:38,734 "Oh, you need an ear nail." 249 00:13:38,735 --> 00:13:40,361 A nail in my fucking ear. 250 00:13:40,362 --> 00:13:41,528 That is modern medicine for you. 251 00:13:41,529 --> 00:13:42,905 "Yeah, Doc, I have a fever of 102." 252 00:13:42,906 --> 00:13:44,573 "Oh, you need a donkey kickin'." 253 00:13:44,574 --> 00:13:47,826 You know our pastor has shot two people? Our pastor. 254 00:13:47,827 --> 00:13:48,911 - No, no. - No. 255 00:13:48,912 --> 00:13:50,371 Honest to God. Shot a guy in a duel 256 00:13:50,372 --> 00:13:53,082 and then went back and killed the guy's teenage son 257 00:13:53,083 --> 00:13:55,042 because he was afraid he would kill him out of revenge. 258 00:13:55,043 --> 00:13:56,585 Wait, how do you know that? 259 00:13:56,586 --> 00:13:59,254 Because he did a whole fucking sermon about it! 260 00:13:59,255 --> 00:14:01,715 A lesson about seeing things through. 261 00:14:01,716 --> 00:14:03,258 By the way, look at this. See those guys over there? 262 00:14:03,259 --> 00:14:05,427 The guys who work in the silver mines? See what they're eating? 263 00:14:05,428 --> 00:14:06,762 Ribs doused in hot sauce. 264 00:14:06,763 --> 00:14:09,223 They eat hot spicy foods every meal of the day. 265 00:14:09,224 --> 00:14:10,349 Do you know why? 266 00:14:10,350 --> 00:14:12,434 Because their palates are so completely fucking dulled 267 00:14:12,435 --> 00:14:15,187 from inhaling poisoned gas, 12 hours a day, down in the mines. 268 00:14:15,188 --> 00:14:16,563 That's all they can taste. 269 00:14:16,564 --> 00:14:18,190 You know what that kind of diet does to your guts? 270 00:14:18,191 --> 00:14:20,943 Constipation, cramps, dyspepsia, liver disease, 271 00:14:20,944 --> 00:14:23,612 kidney disease, hemorrhoids, bowel inflammation. 272 00:14:23,613 --> 00:14:26,899 They literally die from their own farts. 273 00:14:26,908 --> 00:14:29,443 (FARTS) 274 00:14:30,578 --> 00:14:32,538 And, oh, oh, you want to see more death? 275 00:14:32,539 --> 00:14:36,375 All we got to do is get up and walk out the front door. 276 00:14:36,376 --> 00:14:37,835 That is our mayor. 277 00:14:37,836 --> 00:14:38,919 He is dead. 278 00:14:38,920 --> 00:14:41,130 He has been lying there, dead, for three days. 279 00:14:41,131 --> 00:14:42,631 No one has done a thing. 280 00:14:42,632 --> 00:14:45,592 Not moved him, not looked into his death, 281 00:14:45,593 --> 00:14:47,803 not even replaced him with a temporary appointee. 282 00:14:47,804 --> 00:14:51,640 For the last three days, the highest-ranking official in our town 283 00:14:51,641 --> 00:14:53,225 has been a dead guy. 284 00:14:53,226 --> 00:14:55,644 Oh! Look at that! Look at that! 285 00:14:55,645 --> 00:14:59,565 Wolves are dragging the body away as if to illustrate my point! 286 00:14:59,566 --> 00:15:01,316 Bye! Bye, Mr. Mayor! 287 00:15:01,317 --> 00:15:03,652 Bye! Have fun becoming wolf shit! Bye! 288 00:15:03,653 --> 00:15:04,987 God! 289 00:15:04,988 --> 00:15:07,406 That, my friends, is the American West. 290 00:15:07,407 --> 00:15:11,660 A disgusting, awful, dirty cesspool of despair, and fuck all of it. 291 00:15:11,661 --> 00:15:12,828 Why don't you shut up? 292 00:15:12,829 --> 00:15:15,030 You shut up! 293 00:15:19,377 --> 00:15:20,502 Mmm, mmm... 294 00:15:20,503 --> 00:15:23,464 Ow! Ruth. Jesus Christ. 295 00:15:23,465 --> 00:15:25,591 - Stop it. - Okay, fine. 296 00:15:25,592 --> 00:15:28,844 At least have Dr. Harper take a look at it tomorrow. 297 00:15:28,845 --> 00:15:30,095 (LAUGHING SARCASTICALLY) 298 00:15:30,096 --> 00:15:32,681 If you could hear yourself right now. 299 00:15:32,682 --> 00:15:34,516 You know what's gonna happen if I go to Dr. Harper 300 00:15:34,517 --> 00:15:37,603 and I say, "Take a look at that"? 301 00:15:37,604 --> 00:15:40,272 He's gonna say, "Oh, that looks like it hurts. 302 00:15:40,273 --> 00:15:42,858 "Let me give you a blue jay to peck out the blood." 303 00:15:42,859 --> 00:15:44,610 Maybe you should... 304 00:15:44,611 --> 00:15:48,146 I don't know, maybe you should try to talk to Louise. 305 00:15:49,866 --> 00:15:51,700 - That's a great idea. - Yeah? 306 00:15:51,701 --> 00:15:54,370 - That's the jackpot. That's the jackpot! - Huh? 307 00:15:54,371 --> 00:15:56,372 - I still got it! - Okay. 308 00:15:56,373 --> 00:15:58,540 I have good ideas sometimes. 309 00:15:58,541 --> 00:16:00,876 I didn't mean now! 310 00:16:00,877 --> 00:16:05,038 Hey, hey, dude, you really shouldn't drink and horse. 311 00:16:06,216 --> 00:16:09,376 (GRUNTING) 312 00:16:13,390 --> 00:16:18,268 No. No. No. No. No. No. 313 00:16:18,269 --> 00:16:20,721 (GRUNTING) 314 00:16:25,694 --> 00:16:28,153 Yeah, there you... Okay. 315 00:16:28,154 --> 00:16:30,647 (SNORING) 316 00:16:56,891 --> 00:17:00,102 Okay, Curtis. Curtis, buddy, 317 00:17:00,103 --> 00:17:03,605 I'm gonna be right back. I'll be right back, okay? 318 00:17:03,606 --> 00:17:05,607 Or not! (LAUGHS) 319 00:17:05,608 --> 00:17:09,144 No, that's being too ambitious. 320 00:17:16,578 --> 00:17:18,203 Hey. Hey. 321 00:17:18,204 --> 00:17:20,122 Albert, what the hell are you doing? 322 00:17:20,123 --> 00:17:21,415 Louise, we need to talk. 323 00:17:21,416 --> 00:17:23,459 - It's 1:30 in the morning. - We need to talk. 324 00:17:23,460 --> 00:17:25,586 - And we need to talk tonight. - What happened to your face? 325 00:17:25,587 --> 00:17:29,965 I got in a fight with an animal that I could not identify. 326 00:17:29,966 --> 00:17:31,050 Okay, you're drunk. 327 00:17:31,051 --> 00:17:33,469 I'm a smucks-dinnin' drunk. 328 00:17:33,470 --> 00:17:35,804 I don't know what you want from me, but it's late. 329 00:17:35,805 --> 00:17:36,930 - I gotta go. - Louise! Louise! 330 00:17:36,931 --> 00:17:39,308 Louise, please, listen to me. I love you, okay? 331 00:17:39,309 --> 00:17:40,809 I love you. 332 00:17:40,810 --> 00:17:43,145 And I just think if we talked this out 333 00:17:43,146 --> 00:17:45,105 that we can get somewhere and fix it. 334 00:17:45,106 --> 00:17:47,316 Look, Albert, you gotta go. 335 00:17:47,317 --> 00:17:50,861 I'm sure you're right for somebody else, just not for me. 336 00:17:50,862 --> 00:17:52,488 Okay? 337 00:17:52,489 --> 00:17:53,655 Good night. 338 00:17:53,656 --> 00:17:56,275 Wait, let me just touch you. 339 00:18:04,417 --> 00:18:07,744 You're being a fucking jerk! 340 00:18:08,838 --> 00:18:12,124 Okay, I'll talk to you tomorrow. 341 00:18:12,467 --> 00:18:15,135 You know what? I heard you fart once. 342 00:18:15,136 --> 00:18:17,346 And it went... (IMITATING FART NOISE) 343 00:18:17,347 --> 00:18:20,683 And it was a sharp one. 344 00:18:20,684 --> 00:18:22,935 A little sharpie poop-toot. 345 00:18:22,936 --> 00:18:24,561 And I heard... 346 00:18:24,562 --> 00:18:26,805 (HORSE NEIGHS) 347 00:18:31,986 --> 00:18:34,613 MAN: You know what I'm gonna get with this gold, Plugger? 348 00:18:34,614 --> 00:18:35,864 You know what I'm gonna get you? 349 00:18:35,865 --> 00:18:39,827 I'm gonna get you a big old stack of fresh-cut steaks. 350 00:18:39,828 --> 00:18:41,161 (CHUCKLING) I bet you'd like that. 351 00:18:41,162 --> 00:18:42,413 (BARKING) 352 00:18:42,414 --> 00:18:43,872 What? What's the matter with... 353 00:18:43,873 --> 00:18:45,082 Settle down, boy. 354 00:18:45,083 --> 00:18:46,208 (BARKING CONTINUES) 355 00:18:46,209 --> 00:18:48,711 Come on, boy, hey! Quiet down, Plugger! 356 00:18:48,712 --> 00:18:51,914 Whoa, mule! 357 00:18:59,848 --> 00:19:02,132 (HORSES NEIGHING) 358 00:19:03,018 --> 00:19:04,101 Howdy, folks. 359 00:19:04,102 --> 00:19:05,185 Howdy. 360 00:19:05,186 --> 00:19:07,229 What can I do for you fellas? 361 00:19:07,230 --> 00:19:09,440 Well, we're riding through to Sherman Creek. 362 00:19:09,441 --> 00:19:12,526 Be obliged if you could tell us the shortest route. 363 00:19:12,527 --> 00:19:15,863 Oh, yeah, I can help you with that. (GRUNTS) 364 00:19:15,864 --> 00:19:18,073 I got a map right here. 365 00:19:18,074 --> 00:19:19,241 Yes, sir. 366 00:19:19,242 --> 00:19:21,076 Oh. 367 00:19:21,077 --> 00:19:23,954 You're on the main road now. 368 00:19:23,955 --> 00:19:27,166 And the main road goes right through Bullhead 369 00:19:27,167 --> 00:19:29,793 and straight through to Sherman Creek. 370 00:19:29,794 --> 00:19:32,212 But if you want the quickest way, 371 00:19:32,213 --> 00:19:34,423 I'd take Bilbee Pass. 372 00:19:34,424 --> 00:19:38,469 Safer, too. Less chance of bandits and such. 373 00:19:38,470 --> 00:19:39,720 Thank you. 374 00:19:39,721 --> 00:19:42,297 - You can keep that. - Oh. 375 00:19:43,725 --> 00:19:46,477 Uh, one more thing you might do for us. 376 00:19:46,478 --> 00:19:47,603 What's that? 377 00:19:47,604 --> 00:19:50,806 You could show us the gold. 378 00:19:51,149 --> 00:19:53,108 Gold? (CHUCKLES NERVOUSLY) 379 00:19:53,109 --> 00:19:55,486 I ain't got no gold. 380 00:19:55,487 --> 00:19:57,237 I wish. 381 00:19:57,238 --> 00:20:01,992 Been prospecting up there, but that stream's about panned out. 382 00:20:01,993 --> 00:20:04,661 Old Plugger and I done give it up. 383 00:20:04,662 --> 00:20:07,039 We're going on back into town. 384 00:20:07,040 --> 00:20:11,043 (CHUCKLES) Aye. You see, that's... That's just it. 385 00:20:11,044 --> 00:20:13,921 You're heading back to town in the middle of the day. 386 00:20:13,922 --> 00:20:18,333 A prospector only does that when he's found gold to sell. 387 00:20:18,510 --> 00:20:19,843 Show it to me. 388 00:20:19,844 --> 00:20:22,054 No, I swear to you, mister. 389 00:20:22,055 --> 00:20:24,306 I ain't got no gold. 390 00:20:24,307 --> 00:20:28,310 We're just going into town to get some... 391 00:20:28,311 --> 00:20:30,479 Whoa, whoa, whoa... 392 00:20:30,480 --> 00:20:34,400 - Hold on, let me think here a minute. - You do that. 393 00:20:34,401 --> 00:20:38,395 I might just have a little bit of gold. 394 00:20:39,239 --> 00:20:41,990 Yeah, here it is. I forgot all about it. 395 00:20:41,991 --> 00:20:44,243 Here, take it. 396 00:20:44,244 --> 00:20:46,737 Pick up your gun. 397 00:20:46,830 --> 00:20:47,913 What? 398 00:20:47,914 --> 00:20:51,500 Well, I'm not just gonna take your gold. That'd be stealing. 399 00:20:51,501 --> 00:20:54,503 You know what, old timer? We'll shoot for it. 400 00:20:54,504 --> 00:20:56,046 - Clinch. - Shut up. 401 00:20:56,047 --> 00:20:58,424 (CLEARS THROAT) You just take the gold, okay? 402 00:20:58,425 --> 00:21:00,843 Only a thief would do that. 403 00:21:00,844 --> 00:21:02,886 Are you calling me a thief, old timer? 404 00:21:02,887 --> 00:21:04,263 No, no, no! 405 00:21:04,264 --> 00:21:07,758 Then pick up your gun. 406 00:21:13,023 --> 00:21:14,690 That's it. 407 00:21:14,691 --> 00:21:17,226 Now point it at me. 408 00:21:25,035 --> 00:21:27,828 We shoot on three. 409 00:21:27,829 --> 00:21:30,122 (GUN CLICKS) 410 00:21:30,123 --> 00:21:32,407 One. 411 00:21:33,001 --> 00:21:35,244 Two. 412 00:21:37,213 --> 00:21:39,173 God damn it, Clinch! 413 00:21:39,174 --> 00:21:40,549 You didn't have to shoot him! 414 00:21:40,550 --> 00:21:42,092 I know I didn't have to, sweetheart. 415 00:21:42,093 --> 00:21:44,636 He would've given you the gold! 416 00:21:44,637 --> 00:21:47,973 The point is I had to ask him twice. 417 00:21:47,974 --> 00:21:49,641 I'm a busy man with a schedule. 418 00:21:49,642 --> 00:21:51,435 You're a son of a bitch is what you are. 419 00:21:51,436 --> 00:21:52,770 (GASPS) 420 00:21:52,771 --> 00:21:56,106 Don't you ever say that to me in front of my men. 421 00:21:56,107 --> 00:21:58,275 A man's wife will respect him. 422 00:21:58,276 --> 00:22:01,979 Now, let's try that again. 423 00:22:02,322 --> 00:22:03,572 Oh, my God, I love you. 424 00:22:03,573 --> 00:22:06,575 I'm, like, the luckiest girl ever in the history of girls. 425 00:22:06,576 --> 00:22:11,113 That's it. Now, mount up. 426 00:22:12,415 --> 00:22:14,950 Hey, Clinch. 427 00:22:15,085 --> 00:22:16,752 Take a look. 428 00:22:16,753 --> 00:22:19,254 You'd lose half a day going through Bullhead. 429 00:22:19,255 --> 00:22:22,257 CLINCH: You, Enoch and Jordy will ride with me. 430 00:22:22,258 --> 00:22:25,427 We'll take Bilbee Pass to Sherman Creek Trail. 431 00:22:25,428 --> 00:22:27,596 And make no mistake about the kind of heat we're going to draw 432 00:22:27,597 --> 00:22:29,431 after we take that stage. 433 00:22:29,432 --> 00:22:32,184 Anna, I'm gonna keep you out of harm's way. 434 00:22:32,185 --> 00:22:34,603 Lewis, you take Anna and ride east 435 00:22:34,604 --> 00:22:37,356 and hole up here in, uh, Old Stump. 436 00:22:37,357 --> 00:22:38,440 You got that? 437 00:22:38,441 --> 00:22:40,192 We'll let things cool 438 00:22:40,193 --> 00:22:43,979 for a wee bit and then we'll come for you in 12 days. 439 00:22:45,448 --> 00:22:47,816 (URGES HORSE) 440 00:22:48,284 --> 00:22:50,485 (HORSE NEIGHS) 441 00:22:51,579 --> 00:22:53,956 (WHIMPERING) 442 00:22:53,957 --> 00:22:56,241 Come on, boy. 443 00:22:56,710 --> 00:22:59,378 Come on, Plugger. Come on! Yeah! 444 00:22:59,379 --> 00:23:01,130 Good boy! Let's go! 445 00:23:01,131 --> 00:23:03,999 LEWIS: Oh, Jesus Christ! 446 00:23:07,554 --> 00:23:10,589 (BLEATING) 447 00:23:14,352 --> 00:23:17,521 Well, look who's up at 2:00 in the afternoon. 448 00:23:17,522 --> 00:23:18,981 (LAUGHS SARCASTICALLY) 449 00:23:18,982 --> 00:23:23,352 There's still some pig ass and sweet cream there if you want it. 450 00:23:23,403 --> 00:23:25,529 (FLY BUZZING) 451 00:23:25,530 --> 00:23:27,740 I'm gonna use the outhouse. Um... 452 00:23:27,741 --> 00:23:30,993 If I die out there, will you guys just do me one favor? 453 00:23:30,994 --> 00:23:33,912 Just once, I want you to switch seats. 454 00:23:33,913 --> 00:23:35,080 Fuck off. 455 00:23:35,081 --> 00:23:37,333 Okay. 456 00:23:37,334 --> 00:23:38,542 Oh. 457 00:23:38,543 --> 00:23:41,086 Ah, Edward, hey. What's going on? 458 00:23:41,087 --> 00:23:44,214 Oh, my God. Albert, you look terrible! 459 00:23:44,215 --> 00:23:46,592 Oh, wow, there's that confidence boost I need. 460 00:23:46,593 --> 00:23:48,344 Thanks a lot. How you doing, buddy? 461 00:23:48,345 --> 00:23:50,262 Well, honestly, I'm a little worried about you. 462 00:23:50,263 --> 00:23:52,181 I haven't seen you in town in a week and a half 463 00:23:52,182 --> 00:23:55,517 and, you know, it seems like you're just staying in and sleeping all day. 464 00:23:55,518 --> 00:23:59,104 (STAMMERING) No, I don't stay home all day. I go out. 465 00:23:59,105 --> 00:24:00,356 You know what I did on Tuesday? 466 00:24:00,357 --> 00:24:02,191 I went out to Charlie Blanche's ranch 467 00:24:02,192 --> 00:24:03,359 and I paid him the money I owe him 468 00:24:03,360 --> 00:24:05,110 so he won't shoot me in the fucking face. 469 00:24:05,111 --> 00:24:06,445 I did that. That's going out. 470 00:24:06,446 --> 00:24:08,238 Well, that's not really what I'm talking about. (CHUCKLES) 471 00:24:08,239 --> 00:24:09,907 Okay, look. Here's the truth, all right? 472 00:24:09,908 --> 00:24:12,117 I just feel like I need to stay here with my parents. 473 00:24:12,118 --> 00:24:14,161 They're not gonna be around much longer 474 00:24:14,162 --> 00:24:17,539 and I just want to be able to give back all the love and affection 475 00:24:17,540 --> 00:24:19,375 that I got growing up. 476 00:24:19,376 --> 00:24:20,626 You know? Right, guys? 477 00:24:20,627 --> 00:24:21,877 (FARTS) Ow! 478 00:24:21,878 --> 00:24:23,754 Oh, you getting the fart needles again, Dad? 479 00:24:23,755 --> 00:24:25,506 Never mind what I'm getting! 480 00:24:25,507 --> 00:24:28,884 (LAUGHING SARCASTICALLY) I love him so much! 481 00:24:28,885 --> 00:24:32,137 Albert, I know you're taking this breakup really hard, and I understand, 482 00:24:32,138 --> 00:24:33,722 but you got to get out of this funk. 483 00:24:33,723 --> 00:24:36,767 I mean, you haven't shorn your sheep in weeks. 484 00:24:36,768 --> 00:24:39,261 (BLEATING) 485 00:24:40,063 --> 00:24:41,772 Look, you don't know what this is like, all right. 486 00:24:41,773 --> 00:24:44,316 With all due respect, you have no fucking clue what this is like. 487 00:24:44,317 --> 00:24:46,026 All right? You're going home every night 488 00:24:46,027 --> 00:24:47,653 to your girlfriend who loves you. 489 00:24:47,654 --> 00:24:49,947 - You're having sex with her, and you... - Ah... 490 00:24:49,948 --> 00:24:54,743 No, Ruth and I have... We've never done that. 491 00:24:54,744 --> 00:24:56,954 What do you mean you've... 492 00:24:56,955 --> 00:24:59,415 You've never had sex with Ruth? 493 00:24:59,416 --> 00:25:02,751 Yeah. No, no. Yeah. 494 00:25:02,752 --> 00:25:06,463 Wait, doesn't she have sex with, like, 10 guys every day at the whorehouse? 495 00:25:06,464 --> 00:25:08,757 On a slow day, yeah. 496 00:25:08,758 --> 00:25:10,259 But you guys have never had sex? 497 00:25:10,260 --> 00:25:13,929 No. No, Ruth wants to wait until we get married. 498 00:25:13,930 --> 00:25:16,432 You know, she's a Christian and so am I, 499 00:25:16,433 --> 00:25:20,394 and we want to save ourselves for our wedding night. 500 00:25:20,395 --> 00:25:22,896 Edward, have you... Have you ever had sex with anyone? 501 00:25:22,897 --> 00:25:24,815 Well, there was some shit with my uncle, but that was... 502 00:25:24,816 --> 00:25:28,944 You know, it's really hard to remember all that stuff. 503 00:25:28,945 --> 00:25:30,320 You know, yeah, you're right. 504 00:25:30,321 --> 00:25:31,405 Things could be a lot worse. 505 00:25:31,406 --> 00:25:32,489 Yeah. 506 00:25:32,490 --> 00:25:35,200 Um, I'll get out, I'll meet some people. Yeah, thanks. 507 00:25:35,201 --> 00:25:36,577 - Okay. - (GEORGE FARTS) 508 00:25:36,578 --> 00:25:40,614 Ow! That came out of my penis! 509 00:25:42,584 --> 00:25:45,169 EDWARD: Man, I see kids everywhere with those stick hoops lately. 510 00:25:45,170 --> 00:25:47,254 I know. Me, too. 511 00:25:47,255 --> 00:25:48,839 It's got to be bad for their brains, right? 512 00:25:48,840 --> 00:25:50,466 Yeah, it stunts their attention span. 513 00:25:50,467 --> 00:25:51,717 I read an article in the paper. 514 00:25:51,718 --> 00:25:54,219 Yeah, I saw that. It's like they lose the power to innovate 515 00:25:54,220 --> 00:25:55,888 because they're staring at the stick hoop all day. 516 00:25:55,889 --> 00:25:57,097 Yep. 517 00:25:57,098 --> 00:25:59,558 Oh, by the way, they're delivering the town's ice shipment today. 518 00:25:59,559 --> 00:26:00,726 You want to go watch? 519 00:26:00,727 --> 00:26:02,227 - Oh, yeah, that'd be fun. - Yeah! 520 00:26:02,228 --> 00:26:04,396 Yeah. It's always a thrill when you get to see 521 00:26:04,397 --> 00:26:06,148 that much ice all in one place. 522 00:26:06,149 --> 00:26:07,816 Yeah, I think so, too. I'm really excited. 523 00:26:07,817 --> 00:26:10,561 Edward, Edward, look, look. 524 00:26:14,032 --> 00:26:16,400 Holy shit. 525 00:26:17,118 --> 00:26:18,160 Fucking Foy. 526 00:26:18,161 --> 00:26:20,120 She told me she didn't want to see anybody. 527 00:26:20,121 --> 00:26:22,081 She told me she had to work on herself. 528 00:26:22,082 --> 00:26:23,540 Look at that. 529 00:26:23,541 --> 00:26:25,376 Oh, my God. Fucking Foy! 530 00:26:25,377 --> 00:26:26,960 The owner of the Moustachery. 531 00:26:26,961 --> 00:26:28,796 Oh, look at that. He's kissing her. 532 00:26:28,797 --> 00:26:30,464 - EDWARD: He's frenching her. - ALBERT: Fucking Foy! 533 00:26:30,465 --> 00:26:32,132 Maybe you should grow a moustache. 534 00:26:32,133 --> 00:26:33,717 No, I can't afford it. 535 00:26:33,718 --> 00:26:36,220 The creams, the waxes, the lotions. 536 00:26:36,221 --> 00:26:37,596 I don't have the money. 537 00:26:37,597 --> 00:26:38,681 Fucking Foy! 538 00:26:38,682 --> 00:26:40,599 Hey, Albert, maybe we should just go to church. 539 00:26:40,600 --> 00:26:41,975 It'll make you feel a lot better. 540 00:26:41,976 --> 00:26:43,018 Church is not gonna... 541 00:26:43,019 --> 00:26:45,804 Oh, hey, look! It's the ice! 542 00:26:46,439 --> 00:26:47,523 (CHUCKLES) 543 00:26:47,524 --> 00:26:48,941 Why is it so big? 544 00:26:48,942 --> 00:26:50,526 So it doesn't melt. 545 00:26:50,527 --> 00:26:51,610 EDWARD: Oh. 546 00:26:51,611 --> 00:26:53,195 That's so neat. 547 00:26:53,196 --> 00:26:54,822 I know. It's actually really interesting how they do it. 548 00:26:54,823 --> 00:26:57,324 It's this one company out in Boston 549 00:26:57,325 --> 00:26:59,993 that basically cuts it in big blocks 550 00:26:59,994 --> 00:27:03,539 from frozen lakes and ponds, and they just ship it all over the... 551 00:27:03,540 --> 00:27:04,790 BOTH: Oh! Oh... 552 00:27:04,791 --> 00:27:07,209 Oh, my God! Oh, my God! 553 00:27:07,210 --> 00:27:09,920 That went south so fast! 554 00:27:09,921 --> 00:27:13,165 Oh! Oh! 555 00:27:13,883 --> 00:27:16,802 WILSON: And make no mistake, my children. 556 00:27:16,803 --> 00:27:21,974 There shall be swift and righteous justice on all free grazers. 557 00:27:21,975 --> 00:27:24,727 No more shall they nibble wantonly 558 00:27:24,728 --> 00:27:26,603 at the teat of our coffers. 559 00:27:26,604 --> 00:27:29,440 And that's just exactly like that part in the Bible 560 00:27:29,441 --> 00:27:31,692 that applies to that situation. 561 00:27:31,693 --> 00:27:35,112 I would also like to offer a heartfelt prayer 562 00:27:35,113 --> 00:27:37,239 to the family of James Addison, 563 00:27:37,240 --> 00:27:39,158 who was killed this morning 564 00:27:39,159 --> 00:27:40,826 while unloading the ice shipment. 565 00:27:40,827 --> 00:27:44,038 James, we will think of you lovingly this July 566 00:27:44,039 --> 00:27:46,582 as we sip the cold summer beverages 567 00:27:46,583 --> 00:27:48,292 for which you gave your life. 568 00:27:48,293 --> 00:27:50,627 (WHISPERING) They're still gonna use the fucking ice. 569 00:27:50,628 --> 00:27:52,755 Now, before we end this morning's service, 570 00:27:52,756 --> 00:27:56,633 I would like to welcome two new members to our community. 571 00:27:56,634 --> 00:27:59,595 Lewis Barnes and his sister, Anna. 572 00:27:59,596 --> 00:28:01,472 They've just moved here to Old Stump 573 00:28:01,473 --> 00:28:03,432 and they plan to build a farm. 574 00:28:03,433 --> 00:28:05,351 And we wish them all the luck. 575 00:28:05,352 --> 00:28:07,811 Well, that concludes today's service. 576 00:28:07,812 --> 00:28:09,772 So, may God bless you for another week 577 00:28:09,773 --> 00:28:12,441 and there is a mountain lion warning in effect. 578 00:28:12,442 --> 00:28:15,018 (INDISTINCT CONVERSATIONS) 579 00:28:27,290 --> 00:28:28,374 Hi. 580 00:28:28,375 --> 00:28:29,792 Hey, you. 581 00:28:29,793 --> 00:28:31,460 - So, the fair's coming up... - Mmm? 582 00:28:31,461 --> 00:28:35,297 and I was thinking that we could go dress shopping later. 583 00:28:35,298 --> 00:28:37,424 I was thinking you need a new dress. 584 00:28:37,425 --> 00:28:39,301 (GASPS) Something expensive? 585 00:28:39,302 --> 00:28:40,969 Stupidly expensive! 586 00:28:40,970 --> 00:28:43,547 Okay. (CHUCKLES) 587 00:28:53,233 --> 00:28:54,566 Oh, Jesus. Wow. 588 00:28:54,567 --> 00:28:56,819 Hi, Albert. 589 00:28:56,820 --> 00:28:58,570 Hello. 590 00:28:58,571 --> 00:29:02,065 What's up, kiddo? Never seen you in here before. 591 00:29:02,492 --> 00:29:04,201 Just browsing. 592 00:29:04,202 --> 00:29:05,869 Yeah. 593 00:29:05,870 --> 00:29:08,497 You don't have a moustache, though. 594 00:29:08,498 --> 00:29:11,500 No, I know. I was thinking about growing one. 595 00:29:11,501 --> 00:29:12,584 I'm sorry, I can't... 596 00:29:12,585 --> 00:29:15,170 - I said I was thinking about growing one. - Oh. 597 00:29:15,171 --> 00:29:18,507 Excuse me, I have to use the powder room. 598 00:29:18,508 --> 00:29:22,886 And just what kind of moustache are you looking to grow? 599 00:29:22,887 --> 00:29:25,514 Um, a big one. 600 00:29:25,515 --> 00:29:27,516 Like one of those ones that goes down 601 00:29:27,517 --> 00:29:29,560 along the side of my mouth, 602 00:29:29,561 --> 00:29:32,980 and then goes up the edge of my jaw, 603 00:29:32,981 --> 00:29:36,525 and then becomes my sideburns, 604 00:29:36,526 --> 00:29:39,486 and then becomes my hair. 605 00:29:39,487 --> 00:29:40,654 A Möbius moustache. 606 00:29:40,655 --> 00:29:43,490 Möbius moustache, that's the one. 607 00:29:43,491 --> 00:29:45,701 Yeah. Um... 608 00:29:45,702 --> 00:29:47,619 You should know that kind of moustache 609 00:29:47,620 --> 00:29:50,831 is a very costly facial accessory. 610 00:29:50,832 --> 00:29:51,999 Yeah, I know that. 611 00:29:52,000 --> 00:29:54,418 Well, you're a sheep farmer. 612 00:29:54,419 --> 00:29:56,628 (SCOFFS) 613 00:29:56,629 --> 00:29:58,881 Let me ask you something. You feel good about what you're doing? 614 00:29:58,882 --> 00:30:00,090 What exactly am I doing? 615 00:30:00,091 --> 00:30:01,925 Stealing a guy's girlfriend. That's what you're doing. 616 00:30:01,926 --> 00:30:03,052 You feel good about that? 617 00:30:03,053 --> 00:30:05,054 Hey, Louise dumped you, my friend. 618 00:30:05,055 --> 00:30:08,057 It's not my fault she wanted someone with more to offer. 619 00:30:08,058 --> 00:30:10,351 I can give her a lavish home. 620 00:30:10,352 --> 00:30:13,896 Warm blankets, wrapped candies. 621 00:30:13,897 --> 00:30:15,856 Can you say the same, Albert? 622 00:30:15,857 --> 00:30:19,360 Can you give Louise wrapped candies? 623 00:30:19,361 --> 00:30:20,944 You know what? Fuck you, man. 624 00:30:20,945 --> 00:30:24,782 Yeah, that's what she's doing. (CLICKS TONGUE) 625 00:30:24,783 --> 00:30:27,276 (SIGHS) 626 00:30:32,248 --> 00:30:34,950 (INDISTINCT CHATTER) 627 00:30:54,062 --> 00:30:55,270 Oh, hey, sweetie. 628 00:30:55,271 --> 00:30:56,438 Hi! 629 00:30:56,439 --> 00:30:58,107 - Hi, Mark. - Hey, Ed. 630 00:30:58,108 --> 00:31:00,609 Wow! What a long day! 631 00:31:00,610 --> 00:31:01,819 Oh, what happened? 632 00:31:01,820 --> 00:31:06,365 Oh, gosh! Well, like, this one man wanted me to smoke a cigar 633 00:31:06,366 --> 00:31:09,702 and then ash on his balls while I'm jerking him off, 634 00:31:09,703 --> 00:31:12,788 and I'm like, "What? Can I do all that?" 635 00:31:12,789 --> 00:31:14,373 (LAUGHING) 636 00:31:14,374 --> 00:31:16,709 Yeah. 637 00:31:16,710 --> 00:31:19,128 You know, uh, Ruth, I've been thinking. 638 00:31:19,129 --> 00:31:21,496 About what? 639 00:31:21,631 --> 00:31:23,132 Well, I love you. 640 00:31:23,133 --> 00:31:25,050 Well, I love you, too. 641 00:31:25,051 --> 00:31:28,470 And we've been together for a long time. 642 00:31:28,471 --> 00:31:29,596 Wh... 643 00:31:29,597 --> 00:31:34,893 What do you think about us spending the night together? 644 00:31:34,894 --> 00:31:38,147 You mean having sex? 645 00:31:38,148 --> 00:31:39,898 Maybe not right away, you know? 646 00:31:39,899 --> 00:31:42,109 We could maybe lie together for the first couple of times 647 00:31:42,110 --> 00:31:43,736 and see how it feels, and then go from there. 648 00:31:43,737 --> 00:31:45,404 But, Eddie, we're Christians. 649 00:31:45,405 --> 00:31:46,989 I know we're Christians 650 00:31:46,990 --> 00:31:50,325 and I want to do the correct thing in the eyes of the Lord. 651 00:31:50,326 --> 00:31:53,328 But if we really do love each other, 652 00:31:53,329 --> 00:31:55,581 don't you think God would be okay with it? 653 00:31:55,582 --> 00:31:58,000 I don't know. 654 00:31:58,001 --> 00:32:01,170 I mean, you're talking about pre-marital relations. 655 00:32:01,171 --> 00:32:04,673 Oh! You've got a little thing right here. I'll get it. 656 00:32:04,674 --> 00:32:07,468 Oops. Oopsie. 657 00:32:07,469 --> 00:32:09,511 - Thank you. - Oh. 658 00:32:09,512 --> 00:32:10,637 That's it, I'm out. 659 00:32:10,638 --> 00:32:11,930 What? 660 00:32:11,931 --> 00:32:15,142 I'm done. I'm leaving. I'm going to San Francisco. 661 00:32:15,143 --> 00:32:17,144 What, are you serious? Because of Louise? 662 00:32:17,145 --> 00:32:20,856 Yes, I'm serious. And, yes, it is because of Louise. 663 00:32:20,857 --> 00:32:22,191 I don't know how I lasted this long. 664 00:32:22,192 --> 00:32:24,151 I hate the frontier, I hate everything in it. 665 00:32:24,152 --> 00:32:27,154 Well, what am I gonna do? I'm your best friend. 666 00:32:27,155 --> 00:32:31,992 I know. That's... That's why I want you to have these. 667 00:32:31,993 --> 00:32:34,244 Albert, these are your favorite socks. 668 00:32:34,245 --> 00:32:36,697 Yeah. 669 00:32:36,706 --> 00:32:39,741 And I want you to have that. 670 00:32:42,587 --> 00:32:44,213 Edward, this is your lucky handkerchief. 671 00:32:44,214 --> 00:32:45,589 Yeah. 672 00:32:45,590 --> 00:32:48,834 It's sticky. 673 00:32:49,427 --> 00:32:52,179 Well, hello to you, too! 674 00:32:52,180 --> 00:32:54,890 James, I found the friendly locals. (CHUCKLES) 675 00:32:54,891 --> 00:32:58,811 So he said, "Why don't you go blow your own horse?" 676 00:32:58,812 --> 00:33:00,062 (LAUGHS) 677 00:33:00,063 --> 00:33:02,356 Hey, watch it, pal. 678 00:33:02,357 --> 00:33:04,566 I think you owe me a drink, fella. 679 00:33:04,567 --> 00:33:06,402 The hell I do. 680 00:33:06,403 --> 00:33:08,320 You best watch where you stand. 681 00:33:08,321 --> 00:33:11,281 I don't think you heard me. 682 00:33:11,282 --> 00:33:13,242 I'm thirsty. 683 00:33:13,243 --> 00:33:18,113 Then why don't you go on down the river and take a dunk? 684 00:33:18,415 --> 00:33:21,074 Last chance, kid. 685 00:33:37,600 --> 00:33:38,809 (EXHALES) 686 00:33:38,810 --> 00:33:41,011 (CHUCKLING) 687 00:33:41,813 --> 00:33:42,938 (GASPS) 688 00:33:42,939 --> 00:33:45,107 (INDISTINCT SHOUTING) 689 00:33:45,108 --> 00:33:46,483 Oh, shit! 690 00:33:46,484 --> 00:33:48,685 (GRUNTS) 691 00:33:50,113 --> 00:33:53,365 Albert, hurry! Get in position! 692 00:33:53,366 --> 00:33:55,817 (GRUNTING) 693 00:33:58,830 --> 00:34:00,622 (GROANING) 694 00:34:00,623 --> 00:34:02,666 We got our own thing going on over here. 695 00:34:02,667 --> 00:34:04,293 Yeah, nobody needs to get in on this. 696 00:34:04,294 --> 00:34:06,420 We're both getting hurt pretty badly. 697 00:34:06,421 --> 00:34:08,505 (GRUNTING) 698 00:34:08,506 --> 00:34:10,966 (GROANING) 699 00:34:10,967 --> 00:34:12,760 Nobody needs to come over here. 700 00:34:12,761 --> 00:34:15,054 This fight is way more violent than yours... 701 00:34:15,055 --> 00:34:17,473 All those other guys' fights. 702 00:34:17,474 --> 00:34:19,800 (GROANING) 703 00:34:27,484 --> 00:34:28,984 (GRUNTING) 704 00:34:28,985 --> 00:34:31,153 - (GROANING) - Oh! 705 00:34:31,154 --> 00:34:32,488 You actually hit me! 706 00:34:32,489 --> 00:34:33,614 I'm so sorry. 707 00:34:33,615 --> 00:34:34,698 You fucker! 708 00:34:34,699 --> 00:34:36,033 I put a new move in there. 709 00:34:36,034 --> 00:34:37,409 You don't just put a new move in. 710 00:34:37,410 --> 00:34:39,861 That's why we have the meetings. 711 00:34:42,040 --> 00:34:44,491 (GROANING) 712 00:34:46,503 --> 00:34:48,337 That's where it hurts. Like, right there. 713 00:34:48,338 --> 00:34:49,713 Like, right underneath my eye. 714 00:34:49,714 --> 00:34:51,006 Yeah, there's a little red spot. 715 00:34:51,007 --> 00:34:52,758 Ow! Careful, it's tender. 716 00:34:52,759 --> 00:34:55,335 (GRUNTING) 717 00:35:13,697 --> 00:35:15,864 - Thank you. - Sure. 718 00:35:15,865 --> 00:35:18,066 (GUNSHOT) 719 00:35:18,410 --> 00:35:20,777 Shit. Come on. 720 00:35:22,288 --> 00:35:23,414 Whoa! 721 00:35:23,415 --> 00:35:24,540 (SIGHS) 722 00:35:24,541 --> 00:35:26,083 Sorry about that. 723 00:35:26,084 --> 00:35:28,127 It's kind of a regular occurrence around here. 724 00:35:28,128 --> 00:35:30,212 - Really? - Yeah. 725 00:35:30,213 --> 00:35:31,380 (BOTH SIGH) 726 00:35:31,381 --> 00:35:34,550 Hey, pretty fast hands back there. 727 00:35:34,551 --> 00:35:36,760 - Oh... - I guess you're a real hero. 728 00:35:36,761 --> 00:35:40,514 Me? No, I'm not the hero. 729 00:35:40,515 --> 00:35:43,142 I'm the guy in the crowd making fun of the hero's shirt. 730 00:35:43,143 --> 00:35:44,601 - That's who I am. - Oh. 731 00:35:44,602 --> 00:35:48,188 - Hey, look who's here. - Who's this? 732 00:35:48,189 --> 00:35:49,356 This is Plugger. 733 00:35:49,357 --> 00:35:51,934 Hey, Plugger. 734 00:35:52,485 --> 00:35:55,446 So, that... That was your brother in there, huh? 735 00:35:55,447 --> 00:35:58,907 Yeah, Lewis. He's always been a little rambunctious. 736 00:35:58,908 --> 00:36:02,494 Yeah, he seems like a great guy. I'm Albert, by the way. 737 00:36:02,495 --> 00:36:04,204 Anna. 738 00:36:04,205 --> 00:36:05,622 You guys just got into town? 739 00:36:05,623 --> 00:36:07,166 Yeah. 740 00:36:07,167 --> 00:36:09,251 Welcome to our awesome town. 741 00:36:09,252 --> 00:36:10,586 Thanks. 742 00:36:10,587 --> 00:36:12,963 Lewis and I just came out from Kansas City. 743 00:36:12,964 --> 00:36:14,465 Oh, Kansas. 744 00:36:14,466 --> 00:36:16,258 No, it's in Missouri. 745 00:36:16,259 --> 00:36:18,761 Oh, right. That's annoying and weird. 746 00:36:18,762 --> 00:36:19,928 We were wanting a change, 747 00:36:19,929 --> 00:36:22,890 so we came out to the frontier looking to build a farm. 748 00:36:22,891 --> 00:36:24,391 - Oh, that's what I do. - Really? 749 00:36:24,392 --> 00:36:26,602 Yeah, I got a farm about 2 miles from here. 750 00:36:26,603 --> 00:36:27,895 Oh, cattle? 751 00:36:27,896 --> 00:36:29,521 Uh, no, sheep. 752 00:36:29,522 --> 00:36:31,106 - Oh. - Yep. 753 00:36:31,107 --> 00:36:33,734 Well, that's got to be fulfilling work, though, right? 754 00:36:33,735 --> 00:36:34,943 Ah, yeah, it's great. 755 00:36:34,944 --> 00:36:38,489 It's like being a dog walker for 150 really stupid dogs. 756 00:36:38,490 --> 00:36:39,823 (LAUGHS) 757 00:36:39,824 --> 00:36:41,575 - ALBERT: Oh, shit, Plugger! - ANNA: Oh, my God! 758 00:36:41,576 --> 00:36:43,577 - Plugger, give it to me. (GROANING) - Jesus, what is that? 759 00:36:43,578 --> 00:36:45,662 It's the mayor. 760 00:36:45,663 --> 00:36:47,164 - (GLASS SHATTERS) - (WOMAN SCREAMING) 761 00:36:47,165 --> 00:36:50,158 Oh, shit! 762 00:36:50,794 --> 00:36:53,379 So, how did you guys meet? 763 00:36:53,380 --> 00:36:56,131 Uh, she moved to town a couple years ago 764 00:36:56,132 --> 00:36:59,134 to take over the schoolmarm job. 765 00:36:59,135 --> 00:37:03,681 Our old schoolmarm got her throat slit by a fast-moving tumbleweed. 766 00:37:03,682 --> 00:37:05,474 - Oh, my God! - Yeah. 767 00:37:05,475 --> 00:37:06,767 In front of the kids? 768 00:37:06,768 --> 00:37:09,103 Oh, yeah. Yeah. All of them. 769 00:37:09,104 --> 00:37:10,312 ANNA: Let me help you. 770 00:37:10,313 --> 00:37:14,182 That is just painful to watch. 771 00:37:15,443 --> 00:37:19,863 And, you know, it's like the whole time we were together 772 00:37:19,864 --> 00:37:22,741 I just remember thinking, 773 00:37:22,742 --> 00:37:26,695 "How can I possibly be this happy? 774 00:37:26,705 --> 00:37:27,788 "She likes me now, 775 00:37:27,789 --> 00:37:29,748 "but one day, she is gonna figure out 776 00:37:29,749 --> 00:37:32,534 "that she is too good for me." 777 00:37:32,919 --> 00:37:37,414 And then one day, she did. 778 00:37:37,841 --> 00:37:43,795 I feel like I finally tricked one girl into falling in love with me 779 00:37:44,055 --> 00:37:46,849 and then I lost her. 780 00:37:46,850 --> 00:37:50,594 I think you have this whole thing upside down. 781 00:37:50,603 --> 00:37:53,188 I mean, it sounds like you've bent over backwards for this girl, 782 00:37:53,189 --> 00:37:54,732 but what has she given you back? 783 00:37:54,733 --> 00:37:57,359 I told you, she allowed me to be happy 784 00:37:57,360 --> 00:37:59,695 in a part of the world that is otherwise a living hell. 785 00:37:59,696 --> 00:38:01,613 "Allowed"? Wow. 786 00:38:01,614 --> 00:38:03,615 That's kind of fucked up that you would use that word. 787 00:38:03,616 --> 00:38:05,909 You know that, right? 788 00:38:05,910 --> 00:38:09,621 All I know is that there is nothing for me out here 789 00:38:09,622 --> 00:38:12,115 if I don't have her. 790 00:38:12,625 --> 00:38:14,418 ANNA: Well, 791 00:38:14,419 --> 00:38:17,296 if this Foy guy is that much of a douche, 792 00:38:17,297 --> 00:38:20,591 she'll figure it out if she's smart. 793 00:38:20,592 --> 00:38:23,218 Sometimes a girl has to get a few assholes out of her system 794 00:38:23,219 --> 00:38:25,721 before she realizes what a good guy looks like. 795 00:38:25,722 --> 00:38:28,090 Mmm. Maybe. 796 00:38:30,226 --> 00:38:31,894 (COUGHING) 797 00:38:31,895 --> 00:38:33,854 - Ah! - You okay? 798 00:38:33,855 --> 00:38:37,066 (COUGHING) This is actually my first cigarette ever. 799 00:38:37,067 --> 00:38:40,352 (CHUCKLING) Oh, my God. 800 00:38:41,071 --> 00:38:43,272 (GASPS) 801 00:38:43,656 --> 00:38:45,407 - Oh, shit. - Diamondback. 802 00:38:45,408 --> 00:38:47,159 - It's a diamondback, yeah. - Fuck. 803 00:38:47,160 --> 00:38:49,912 It's okay, just hold perfectly still, and it'll go away. 804 00:38:49,913 --> 00:38:52,489 Okay, okay. 805 00:38:54,751 --> 00:38:57,795 I don't think you should leave tomorrow. 806 00:38:57,796 --> 00:38:59,755 At least stay through the weekend. 807 00:38:59,756 --> 00:39:01,423 Isn't the fair on Saturday? 808 00:39:01,424 --> 00:39:04,718 Oh, fuck that. I'm not going to the stupid fair. 809 00:39:04,719 --> 00:39:06,970 Louise is gonna be there, and she's gonna be with Foy. 810 00:39:06,971 --> 00:39:08,305 I don't want to put myself through 811 00:39:08,306 --> 00:39:09,765 that kind of fucking aggravation. 812 00:39:09,766 --> 00:39:12,059 Yeah, well, I'll go with you. 813 00:39:12,060 --> 00:39:14,478 No better way to make your ex-girlfriend want you back more 814 00:39:14,479 --> 00:39:16,814 than to let her see you with another girl. 815 00:39:16,815 --> 00:39:18,023 I don't know. 816 00:39:18,024 --> 00:39:20,776 Especially a smoking-hot girl. 817 00:39:20,777 --> 00:39:24,238 When she sees me, she'll be intimidated as fuck. 818 00:39:24,239 --> 00:39:26,115 Oh, you're very modest, I see. 819 00:39:26,116 --> 00:39:29,076 I'm a little cocky. But I got great tits. 820 00:39:29,077 --> 00:39:30,619 - (LAUGHING) - (RATTLING) 821 00:39:30,620 --> 00:39:32,454 - Oh! - Sorry. Sorry, sir. 822 00:39:32,455 --> 00:39:35,866 Sorry, sir. Sorry, sir. 823 00:39:42,799 --> 00:39:45,167 (HORSE NEIGHING) 824 00:39:54,519 --> 00:39:57,262 (KEYS JANGLING) 825 00:39:58,273 --> 00:40:02,226 Barnes, wake up. Brought you a visitor. 826 00:40:03,945 --> 00:40:06,280 You stupid son of a bitch. 827 00:40:06,281 --> 00:40:08,365 You shot the pastor's son. 828 00:40:08,366 --> 00:40:10,284 You realize they're probably gonna hang you for this? 829 00:40:10,285 --> 00:40:13,904 Who gives a fuck what they want? 830 00:40:14,622 --> 00:40:17,833 When Clinch gets into town, it's not gonna matter what they do. 831 00:40:17,834 --> 00:40:19,043 He'll bust me out 832 00:40:19,044 --> 00:40:22,871 and anyone who tries to stop him is gonna be a dead man. 833 00:40:26,509 --> 00:40:29,511 You know, one of these days 834 00:40:29,512 --> 00:40:32,514 there's gonna be a man who's faster than Clinch 835 00:40:32,515 --> 00:40:35,851 and tougher, and stronger. 836 00:40:35,852 --> 00:40:38,979 And then Clinch is gonna be the dead man. 837 00:40:38,980 --> 00:40:41,690 And I'm gonna smoke a fucking cigar to celebrate. 838 00:40:41,691 --> 00:40:46,028 (SCOFFS) I don't think Clinch would like you talking about him that way. 839 00:40:46,029 --> 00:40:49,281 Not a nice thing for a man's wife to say about her husband. 840 00:40:49,282 --> 00:40:51,450 Yeah, well, 841 00:40:51,451 --> 00:40:55,904 let's see if he gets here before you find yourself at the end of a rope. 842 00:40:57,374 --> 00:40:59,616 Tick-tock. 843 00:41:02,712 --> 00:41:04,997 (DOOR CLOSES) 844 00:41:19,771 --> 00:41:22,097 (SHEEP BLEATING) 845 00:41:22,816 --> 00:41:24,274 Oh, no, no, no. No, no, no, no! 846 00:41:24,275 --> 00:41:25,567 Guys, no, no, no. 847 00:41:25,568 --> 00:41:28,237 Andrew, Jonathan, no. Go, go, go. Go home. 848 00:41:28,238 --> 00:41:30,647 (BLEATING) 849 00:41:31,241 --> 00:41:33,242 Hey, sheep boy. 850 00:41:33,243 --> 00:41:34,910 Hey. 851 00:41:34,911 --> 00:41:38,914 Jesus, are you okay? I heard about your brother getting arrested. 852 00:41:38,915 --> 00:41:42,084 Yeah, I'm fine. And listen, Albert. 853 00:41:42,085 --> 00:41:44,086 Don't worry about Lewis, okay? 854 00:41:44,087 --> 00:41:47,423 Anything that happens to him right now is his own fault. Got it? 855 00:41:47,424 --> 00:41:49,216 Yeah. Whatever you say, sure. 856 00:41:49,217 --> 00:41:52,386 Good. Let's hit this fair, because you know what I wanna do? 857 00:41:52,387 --> 00:41:54,263 Eat hot food in 100-degree weather? 858 00:41:54,264 --> 00:41:57,016 No, get my picture taken. I've never done it before. 859 00:41:57,017 --> 00:41:58,767 - That's horse shit. - No, it's the truth. 860 00:41:58,768 --> 00:42:00,769 - No, that's horse shit. - Whoa! Oh, that is horse shit. 861 00:42:00,770 --> 00:42:04,223 Okay. All right. 862 00:42:28,715 --> 00:42:31,833 Okay, everybody hold still! 863 00:42:32,260 --> 00:42:34,136 You know, supposedly, there's some guy in Texas 864 00:42:34,137 --> 00:42:36,430 who smiled one time while he was getting his picture taken. 865 00:42:36,431 --> 00:42:38,140 Shut the fuck up. Are you serious? 866 00:42:38,141 --> 00:42:40,225 We were just talking about that last week. Is that true? 867 00:42:40,226 --> 00:42:43,645 I don't know. I mean, I heard it somewhere. I don't know if it's true. 868 00:42:43,646 --> 00:42:46,774 Yeah, it sounds like the kind of bullshit somebody would make up. 869 00:42:46,775 --> 00:42:50,435 Okay. Everybody hold still. 870 00:42:55,075 --> 00:42:57,076 - Oh, my God! - Holy shit! 871 00:42:57,077 --> 00:42:59,661 (BOTH SCREAMING) 872 00:42:59,662 --> 00:43:02,155 Hold still! 873 00:43:02,916 --> 00:43:04,833 God! This fucking fair! 874 00:43:04,834 --> 00:43:06,251 Every year, something like this happens. 875 00:43:06,252 --> 00:43:07,419 Every year, people die. 876 00:43:07,420 --> 00:43:08,837 - Really? - Every year. 877 00:43:08,838 --> 00:43:10,005 Last year, there were two gunfights, 878 00:43:10,006 --> 00:43:12,007 there was a knife fight, a stage collapsed, 879 00:43:12,008 --> 00:43:13,717 there was a drowning, and the Indians attacked. 880 00:43:13,718 --> 00:43:16,387 - God, why are the Indians always so mad? - I don't know. 881 00:43:16,388 --> 00:43:18,931 I mean, we're basically splitting this country 50-50 with them. 882 00:43:18,932 --> 00:43:21,425 They're just selfish. 883 00:43:22,852 --> 00:43:24,770 Ladies and gentlemen! 884 00:43:24,771 --> 00:43:27,231 Step right up, step right up! 885 00:43:27,232 --> 00:43:28,524 Try a sample of... 886 00:43:28,525 --> 00:43:31,068 Sir and madam, may I divert your attention 887 00:43:31,069 --> 00:43:32,820 over here just for a moment? 888 00:43:32,821 --> 00:43:36,532 Welcome, welcome. Can I interest you in a miracle cure? 889 00:43:36,533 --> 00:43:39,159 I have only the finest healing tonics and elixirs 890 00:43:39,160 --> 00:43:41,704 procured from the farthest corners of the globe. 891 00:43:41,705 --> 00:43:44,415 "Ogden's Celebrated Stomach Bitters." 892 00:43:44,416 --> 00:43:46,542 Can I just ask, celebrated by who? 893 00:43:46,543 --> 00:43:48,419 Who's celebrating about stomach bitters? 894 00:43:48,420 --> 00:43:50,004 God. Look at the ingredients. 895 00:43:50,005 --> 00:43:53,340 "Cocaine, alcohol, morphine, mercury with chalk." 896 00:43:53,341 --> 00:43:55,592 What the hell is "mercury with chalk"? 897 00:43:55,593 --> 00:43:56,719 Science! 898 00:43:56,720 --> 00:43:58,429 And "red flannel." 899 00:43:58,430 --> 00:44:00,639 Red flannel? There's shirt in here? 900 00:44:00,640 --> 00:44:01,890 Pieces of shirt. 901 00:44:01,891 --> 00:44:03,809 Okay, thank you very much. 902 00:44:03,810 --> 00:44:05,394 Would you like to try? 903 00:44:05,395 --> 00:44:07,021 - ALBERT: Oh, my God. - ANNA: What? 904 00:44:07,022 --> 00:44:09,023 That's them. That's them. (STUTTERING) 905 00:44:09,024 --> 00:44:11,483 Quick, pretend you just said something funny to me. 906 00:44:11,484 --> 00:44:14,361 (LAUGHING) Oh, my God! You are... You are so hilarious! 907 00:44:14,362 --> 00:44:16,071 Where do you come up... No, shit! 908 00:44:16,072 --> 00:44:17,406 You pretend I said something funny. 909 00:44:17,407 --> 00:44:18,657 Albert, stop. Stop. 910 00:44:18,658 --> 00:44:19,908 Just introduce me. Come on. 911 00:44:19,909 --> 00:44:21,118 I'm not gonna introduce you... 912 00:44:21,119 --> 00:44:23,746 - Oh, hi! - Hey. 913 00:44:23,747 --> 00:44:27,249 Uh, Foy and Louise, right? 914 00:44:27,250 --> 00:44:28,584 - Mmm-hmm. - That's right. 915 00:44:28,585 --> 00:44:30,836 Uh, this is Anna. She's... 916 00:44:30,837 --> 00:44:33,047 - I'm his girlfriend. - She's my girlfriend. 917 00:44:33,048 --> 00:44:35,924 - ANNA: Mmm-hmm. - She's the new GF. Big time. 918 00:44:35,925 --> 00:44:37,801 A lot of sexual activity. 919 00:44:37,802 --> 00:44:41,847 All the time. I live inside her. 920 00:44:41,848 --> 00:44:43,307 So, if you want to send me a letter, 921 00:44:43,308 --> 00:44:47,436 you gotta address it care of her vagina. 922 00:44:47,437 --> 00:44:49,063 Yep. 923 00:44:49,064 --> 00:44:50,105 I have that skirt. 924 00:44:50,106 --> 00:44:52,107 - Oh, you do? - Mmm-hmm. 925 00:44:52,108 --> 00:44:54,234 Yeah, I wore it to the fair, like, two years ago. 926 00:44:54,235 --> 00:44:56,403 But good for you for trying to bring it back. 927 00:44:56,404 --> 00:44:58,655 Well, I figure only a complete idiot 928 00:44:58,656 --> 00:45:01,533 would throw away a perfectly good thing. 929 00:45:01,534 --> 00:45:03,744 We were gonna go check out the shooting gallery over there. 930 00:45:03,745 --> 00:45:05,037 - You guys wanna join? - What? 931 00:45:05,038 --> 00:45:06,538 Yeah, it'd be fun, right? 932 00:45:06,539 --> 00:45:08,916 Oh, yes, and let's make things interesting. 933 00:45:08,917 --> 00:45:11,377 A nickel a target. 934 00:45:11,378 --> 00:45:14,380 You know, that's actually, uh, a little rich for my blood. 935 00:45:14,381 --> 00:45:15,714 Uh, how about a penny? 936 00:45:15,715 --> 00:45:19,843 What's the matter, Albert? Is business (IMITATING BLEATING) bad? 937 00:45:19,844 --> 00:45:22,429 (CHUCKLING) 938 00:45:22,430 --> 00:45:24,682 No, no. A penny it is. 939 00:45:24,683 --> 00:45:27,810 Good Lord, Albert, you're such a "sheepskate." Oh! 940 00:45:27,811 --> 00:45:29,019 (LAUGHING) Wow! 941 00:45:29,020 --> 00:45:30,979 Oh... 942 00:45:30,980 --> 00:45:32,940 Let's go, Louise. You can "shear" me on. 943 00:45:32,941 --> 00:45:34,983 Oh, no, I didn't! 944 00:45:34,984 --> 00:45:37,194 - LOUISE: You're so funny, baby. - FOY: Thank you. 945 00:45:37,195 --> 00:45:38,362 Shall we? 946 00:45:38,363 --> 00:45:39,488 (WHISPERING) Come on. 947 00:45:39,489 --> 00:45:40,531 Wait, wait, no, no. 948 00:45:40,532 --> 00:45:41,865 There you are, my good man. 949 00:45:41,866 --> 00:45:43,659 Indeed. 950 00:45:43,660 --> 00:45:47,079 Oh, wow. That seems unnecessary. 951 00:45:47,080 --> 00:45:50,824 What's wrong with ducks or rabbits or something? 952 00:45:53,962 --> 00:45:56,163 Mmm-hmm. 953 00:46:04,305 --> 00:46:07,099 Six shots, six hits. Quite the marksman! 954 00:46:07,100 --> 00:46:08,434 There you go, ma'am. 955 00:46:08,435 --> 00:46:10,310 - Thank you, baby. - (CHUCKLING) 956 00:46:10,311 --> 00:46:12,596 (BOTH MOANING) 957 00:46:13,440 --> 00:46:15,724 Care to try? 958 00:46:18,611 --> 00:46:21,321 You got it. 959 00:46:21,322 --> 00:46:24,149 Just breathe. 960 00:46:32,334 --> 00:46:35,118 (CROWD LAUGHING) 961 00:46:36,212 --> 00:46:39,131 Seems you owe me six cents, sheep herder. 962 00:46:39,132 --> 00:46:40,632 Yeah, yeah, I know. 963 00:46:40,633 --> 00:46:42,760 Jesus. 964 00:46:42,761 --> 00:46:44,678 Wait. Hang on a sec. 965 00:46:44,679 --> 00:46:47,056 You wanna make this interesting? 966 00:46:47,057 --> 00:46:50,142 If I can shoot six out of six on Albert's behalf, you owe him a dollar. 967 00:46:50,143 --> 00:46:52,019 If I can't, 968 00:46:52,020 --> 00:46:53,896 - he owes you a dollar. - Wait, what? 969 00:46:53,897 --> 00:46:55,689 - A dollar? - I've never seen a dollar. 970 00:46:55,690 --> 00:46:56,774 Nobody's got a dollar! 971 00:46:56,775 --> 00:46:57,900 Let us see the dollar! 972 00:46:57,901 --> 00:47:00,069 Well, this is interesting. 973 00:47:00,070 --> 00:47:04,073 All right. Do your best, ma'am. 974 00:47:04,074 --> 00:47:06,283 (IMITATING BLEATING) 975 00:47:06,284 --> 00:47:07,910 How fast can this thing go? 976 00:47:07,911 --> 00:47:11,538 Oh, you can play double or triple speeds, but that's for the experts. 977 00:47:11,539 --> 00:47:13,740 As fast as you can. 978 00:47:20,465 --> 00:47:23,125 (CROWD EXCLAIMS) 979 00:47:24,094 --> 00:47:26,011 Holy shit! 980 00:47:26,012 --> 00:47:27,513 Congratulations! 981 00:47:27,514 --> 00:47:29,598 You're a winner! 982 00:47:29,599 --> 00:47:31,725 Thank you. 983 00:47:31,726 --> 00:47:34,595 Come on, you owe him a dollar. 984 00:47:36,981 --> 00:47:38,273 (CROWD GASPS) 985 00:47:38,274 --> 00:47:39,400 There it is! 986 00:47:39,401 --> 00:47:40,484 It's beautiful! 987 00:47:40,485 --> 00:47:43,729 Take your hat off, boy. That's a dollar bill! 988 00:47:45,865 --> 00:47:49,451 Well, a man whose girlfriend does his shooting for him. 989 00:47:49,452 --> 00:47:51,995 Isn't that a fine how-do-you-do? 990 00:47:51,996 --> 00:47:54,707 (CROWD LAUGHING) 991 00:47:54,708 --> 00:47:57,876 I said, "Isn't that a fine how-do-you-do?" 992 00:47:57,877 --> 00:47:59,336 (LAUGHING HARDER) 993 00:47:59,337 --> 00:48:01,505 (LAUGHING SARCASTICALLY) 994 00:48:01,506 --> 00:48:04,049 (STAMMERING) How is that funny? What's funny about that? 995 00:48:04,050 --> 00:48:05,968 "How do you do" is a greeting. Why is that funny? 996 00:48:05,969 --> 00:48:07,594 You, why are you laughing? 997 00:48:07,595 --> 00:48:11,340 I don't know. He was laughing. 998 00:48:11,474 --> 00:48:14,268 It seems your ex-boyfriend doesn't have a sense of humor. 999 00:48:14,269 --> 00:48:15,811 I can see why you dumped him. 1000 00:48:15,812 --> 00:48:17,563 Hey! 1001 00:48:17,564 --> 00:48:19,356 You wanna back up that attitude, asshole? 1002 00:48:19,357 --> 00:48:20,607 Oh, you are kidding. 1003 00:48:20,608 --> 00:48:23,277 Never been more serious in my life. You and me, pistols. 1004 00:48:23,278 --> 00:48:24,778 You wouldn't have a prayer, kiddo. 1005 00:48:24,779 --> 00:48:26,530 Tomorrow, 8:00 a.m., sharp. 1006 00:48:26,531 --> 00:48:28,365 All right, challenge accepted! 1007 00:48:28,366 --> 00:48:30,367 Oh, gosh. Tomorrow is bad for me, 1008 00:48:30,368 --> 00:48:32,161 and I really wanna be there. 1009 00:48:32,162 --> 00:48:34,288 Why don't we say a week from today? 1010 00:48:34,289 --> 00:48:36,498 That works for you, right, Albert? 1011 00:48:36,499 --> 00:48:39,460 Yeah, yeah, that's fine. A week from today. 1012 00:48:39,461 --> 00:48:42,921 I got sheep stuff I gotta do tomorrow, anyway. 1013 00:48:42,922 --> 00:48:44,631 One week. 1014 00:48:44,632 --> 00:48:45,799 Come on, Louise. 1015 00:48:45,800 --> 00:48:48,510 I'll buy you some sugared butter shavings. 1016 00:48:48,511 --> 00:48:50,879 (IMITATING BLEATING) 1017 00:48:53,600 --> 00:48:55,559 Oh, shit! 1018 00:48:55,560 --> 00:48:56,685 Wow. 1019 00:48:56,686 --> 00:48:59,021 What the fuck did I just do? 1020 00:48:59,022 --> 00:49:02,232 You just challenged Foy to a gunfight. 1021 00:49:02,233 --> 00:49:03,484 I have no idea what just happened. 1022 00:49:03,485 --> 00:49:05,110 (STAMMERING) I was, like, out of my body. 1023 00:49:05,111 --> 00:49:07,446 Albert, did you see the look on Louise's face? 1024 00:49:07,447 --> 00:49:08,572 No. Why? 1025 00:49:08,573 --> 00:49:11,575 She was aroused. She was impressed. 1026 00:49:11,576 --> 00:49:14,661 You had a fire in your belly for a second there, pal. 1027 00:49:14,662 --> 00:49:16,538 Bet you never showed her that side before. 1028 00:49:16,539 --> 00:49:18,374 Yeah, I don't have that side to me. 1029 00:49:18,375 --> 00:49:20,084 I honestly don't know what just happened. 1030 00:49:20,085 --> 00:49:21,919 Albert, you got her attention. 1031 00:49:21,920 --> 00:49:23,379 You beat this guy at a gunfight, 1032 00:49:23,380 --> 00:49:25,547 I bet she thinks twice about dumping you. 1033 00:49:25,548 --> 00:49:27,216 Anna, I can't be in a gunfight. 1034 00:49:27,217 --> 00:49:28,300 What am I, Clinch Leatherwood here? 1035 00:49:28,301 --> 00:49:30,219 - I'll get killed! - Whoa! 1036 00:49:30,220 --> 00:49:32,346 Why would you say that? 1037 00:49:32,347 --> 00:49:35,391 Because he's the most vicious gunfighter in the territory, 1038 00:49:35,392 --> 00:49:36,558 which I am not! 1039 00:49:36,559 --> 00:49:39,520 No, you're not Clinch Leatherwood. 1040 00:49:39,521 --> 00:49:41,063 You're gonna be okay, Albert. 1041 00:49:41,064 --> 00:49:43,732 That week I just bought you is enough time for me to teach you how to shoot. 1042 00:49:43,733 --> 00:49:44,858 You'll be fine. 1043 00:49:44,859 --> 00:49:46,151 Oh, yeah, by the way, that's another thing. 1044 00:49:46,152 --> 00:49:48,153 How the fuck can you shoot like that? 1045 00:49:48,154 --> 00:49:49,655 Who the hell are you? 1046 00:49:49,656 --> 00:49:53,492 My father was a gun maker. I could shoot a gun before I could walk. 1047 00:49:53,493 --> 00:49:56,495 Whatever. I'm sick to my stomach. My stomach is in knots. 1048 00:49:56,496 --> 00:49:58,414 You're worked up, that's what it is. Let's get a drink. 1049 00:49:58,415 --> 00:49:59,581 Come on. 1050 00:49:59,582 --> 00:50:01,959 Hey! It's our sweet young couple. 1051 00:50:01,960 --> 00:50:05,954 Could I interest you folks in some Wildroot Cream-Oil? 1052 00:50:05,964 --> 00:50:08,498 (CROWD SCREAMING) 1053 00:50:12,762 --> 00:50:13,846 People die at the fair. 1054 00:50:13,847 --> 00:50:16,632 People die at the fair. 1055 00:50:32,115 --> 00:50:34,742 ANNA: Okay, so you're gonna take your right thumb, 1056 00:50:34,743 --> 00:50:36,243 put it all the way to the left. 1057 00:50:36,244 --> 00:50:38,996 Cross it over, cradle it right in there, 1058 00:50:38,997 --> 00:50:40,497 and then just extend it straight through your... 1059 00:50:40,498 --> 00:50:42,082 - Like that? - Straight. 1060 00:50:42,083 --> 00:50:44,585 Wow, you've never fired a gun before. 1061 00:50:44,586 --> 00:50:46,420 I... I have not. I own a gun. 1062 00:50:46,421 --> 00:50:48,213 No, I fired a gun at the shooting gallery. 1063 00:50:48,214 --> 00:50:50,341 Yeah, but those were quarter loads. These are full loads. 1064 00:50:50,342 --> 00:50:54,219 Okay, all right, get ready. I'm about to shoot a full load at your cans. 1065 00:50:54,220 --> 00:50:56,263 (LAUGHING) Shut the fuck up and focus. 1066 00:50:56,264 --> 00:50:58,507 All right. Okay. 1067 00:51:04,981 --> 00:51:06,065 (SIGHS) 1068 00:51:06,066 --> 00:51:07,149 This is never gonna work. 1069 00:51:07,150 --> 00:51:08,984 - This is not working. - It's gonna work. 1070 00:51:08,985 --> 00:51:11,403 It's gonna work and Louise is gonna come running back to you. 1071 00:51:11,404 --> 00:51:12,654 How the hell do you get these things out? 1072 00:51:12,655 --> 00:51:13,864 (LAUGHING) 1073 00:51:13,865 --> 00:51:16,867 I'm sitting there jerking that thing off. 1074 00:51:16,868 --> 00:51:19,486 (SIGHS) 1075 00:51:19,579 --> 00:51:21,622 Hey, why are you being so nice to me? 1076 00:51:21,623 --> 00:51:22,831 What do you mean? 1077 00:51:22,832 --> 00:51:25,209 Well, I mean, you show up out of nowhere. 1078 00:51:25,210 --> 00:51:29,546 You're this complete anomaly in my world of terribleness out here. 1079 00:51:29,547 --> 00:51:32,424 I mean, you must have a million better things to do than this. 1080 00:51:32,425 --> 00:51:34,677 What, I can't make a new friend? 1081 00:51:34,678 --> 00:51:36,845 You sure look like you could use one. 1082 00:51:36,846 --> 00:51:40,057 I guess. I mean, I just... I just don't know anything about you. 1083 00:51:40,058 --> 00:51:42,101 Well, can I ask you something about you? 1084 00:51:42,102 --> 00:51:44,386 Yeah, sure. 1085 00:51:44,521 --> 00:51:47,264 Why do you love Louise? 1086 00:51:47,774 --> 00:51:50,776 (SIGHS) I mean, take your pick. She's... 1087 00:51:50,777 --> 00:51:52,277 I feel great when I'm with her. 1088 00:51:52,278 --> 00:51:56,240 She's classy, she's fun, she's insanely gorgeous. 1089 00:51:56,241 --> 00:51:59,118 Hey, no. Look, she's really pretty, yes. 1090 00:51:59,119 --> 00:52:00,869 But honestly, and I'm sorry to say this, 1091 00:52:00,870 --> 00:52:03,038 I don't see what else she's got going for her. 1092 00:52:03,039 --> 00:52:06,709 My impression was that she was a little sour and self-absorbed. 1093 00:52:06,710 --> 00:52:08,836 And for a guy with so much going for him, 1094 00:52:08,837 --> 00:52:10,087 I just thought that maybe you... 1095 00:52:10,088 --> 00:52:12,464 I don't know what you think I have going for me, but... 1096 00:52:12,465 --> 00:52:13,966 You see? There you go again, 1097 00:52:13,967 --> 00:52:15,217 just cutting yourself down. 1098 00:52:15,218 --> 00:52:16,927 You act like this girl was performing 1099 00:52:16,928 --> 00:52:19,138 some kind of a charitable act by dating you. 1100 00:52:19,139 --> 00:52:20,514 Albert, you're a catch. 1101 00:52:20,515 --> 00:52:22,975 You're sweet, you're funny, you're smart. 1102 00:52:22,976 --> 00:52:24,852 You've made something of yourself out here. 1103 00:52:24,853 --> 00:52:26,395 You know, a lot of people can't say that. 1104 00:52:26,396 --> 00:52:27,980 You're a good sheep farmer. 1105 00:52:27,981 --> 00:52:30,566 Oh, my God, please. I suck at sheep. 1106 00:52:30,567 --> 00:52:32,109 Louise was right. I can't keep track of them. 1107 00:52:32,110 --> 00:52:33,902 There was a sheep in the whorehouse last week. 1108 00:52:33,903 --> 00:52:35,320 - Really? - Yeah. 1109 00:52:35,321 --> 00:52:37,322 Wandered in there, and then when I went to pick it up, 1110 00:52:37,323 --> 00:52:39,074 somehow, it had made $20. 1111 00:52:39,075 --> 00:52:41,610 (LAUGHING) 1112 00:52:42,620 --> 00:52:46,915 But, you know, thank you anyway for what you said. 1113 00:52:46,916 --> 00:52:49,835 Oh, look, the West fucking sucks, 1114 00:52:49,836 --> 00:52:51,587 but the frontier is not your problem. 1115 00:52:51,588 --> 00:52:52,755 It's you. 1116 00:52:52,756 --> 00:52:54,923 You need a little confidence boost, my friend. 1117 00:52:54,924 --> 00:52:57,459 Now, aim up, sheep boy. 1118 00:53:06,311 --> 00:53:07,770 - Oh! - Hey! 1119 00:53:07,771 --> 00:53:09,188 - There we go! - See? There! 1120 00:53:09,189 --> 00:53:10,814 All righty. That's one. 1121 00:53:10,815 --> 00:53:15,611 So, all I gotta do is get Foy to let me shoot 16 times before he shoots 1122 00:53:15,612 --> 00:53:16,862 and then I win! 1123 00:53:16,863 --> 00:53:18,280 You're gonna do great, I promise. 1124 00:53:18,281 --> 00:53:20,983 - Easy. - We're gonna get there. 1125 00:54:29,853 --> 00:54:32,387 (GUNSHOT) 1126 00:55:15,440 --> 00:55:17,066 - (LAUGHING) Hey! - Yes! 1127 00:55:17,067 --> 00:55:19,026 (SCREAMING) 1128 00:55:19,027 --> 00:55:20,110 Oh! 1129 00:55:20,111 --> 00:55:24,231 God damn it, Albert! No more friends! 1130 00:55:30,955 --> 00:55:32,748 ANNA: You know, you did great today. 1131 00:55:32,749 --> 00:55:34,750 So much better than last week. 1132 00:55:34,751 --> 00:55:37,753 And I have a surprise for you. 1133 00:55:37,754 --> 00:55:40,047 You have earned one of Anna Barnes' 1134 00:55:40,048 --> 00:55:44,251 very special super-super-secret cookies. 1135 00:55:44,761 --> 00:55:47,096 Mmm-hmm. 1136 00:55:47,097 --> 00:55:49,014 - Wait, what is this? - Mmm-hmm? 1137 00:55:49,015 --> 00:55:50,974 This is a pot... This is a pot cookie, isn't it? 1138 00:55:50,975 --> 00:55:52,309 - It's a pot cookie. - No, no, no. 1139 00:55:52,310 --> 00:55:53,435 No. I don't do well with that stuff at all. 1140 00:55:53,436 --> 00:55:54,520 It's a pot cookie. 1141 00:55:54,521 --> 00:55:56,313 Yeah, I know. No, thank you. 1142 00:55:56,314 --> 00:55:57,564 Just have a little bit with me. 1143 00:55:57,565 --> 00:56:00,401 My worst fear is to OD on a recreational drug. 1144 00:56:00,402 --> 00:56:01,860 - (STAMMERS) No, thank you. - On a pot cookie? 1145 00:56:01,861 --> 00:56:03,487 The last time somebody gave me one of these 1146 00:56:03,488 --> 00:56:05,948 I became convinced that prairie dogs could read my mind. 1147 00:56:05,949 --> 00:56:07,866 Just take a little bit. 1148 00:56:07,867 --> 00:56:09,702 - I'll take a very, very small bite. - Just a small bite. 1149 00:56:09,703 --> 00:56:12,905 - A very small bite. - That's it. 1150 00:56:14,249 --> 00:56:15,541 Are you kidding me? 1151 00:56:15,542 --> 00:56:17,126 Nope. Deadly serious. 1152 00:56:17,127 --> 00:56:18,794 - (LAUGHING) - Let's see what this does 1153 00:56:18,795 --> 00:56:20,337 and if I don't throw myself off this cliff 1154 00:56:20,338 --> 00:56:21,839 during some awful freak-out, then... 1155 00:56:21,840 --> 00:56:23,507 Just take that little bit, right there. 1156 00:56:23,508 --> 00:56:25,551 - Well, now you've touched it. - (LAUGHING) 1157 00:56:25,552 --> 00:56:29,888 Take the other side. There you go. 1158 00:56:29,889 --> 00:56:32,141 There. 1159 00:56:32,142 --> 00:56:35,886 And now, we just wait for the sun to set. 1160 00:56:46,698 --> 00:56:49,491 This is really weird. 1161 00:56:49,492 --> 00:56:52,694 - Is it supposed to be like this? - (CHUCKLING) 1162 00:56:54,247 --> 00:56:55,456 You gave me the right amount, right? 1163 00:56:55,457 --> 00:56:59,284 You don't think I took too much? 1164 00:57:00,462 --> 00:57:02,921 - Just ride it out. - This is... 1165 00:57:02,922 --> 00:57:05,299 Wow, my bones are in really deep today. 1166 00:57:05,300 --> 00:57:08,635 Like, there's a lot more skin than there usually is. 1167 00:57:08,636 --> 00:57:10,679 I think my body is padding up for the winter, 1168 00:57:10,680 --> 00:57:12,139 which is weird, because it's not winter. 1169 00:57:12,140 --> 00:57:13,390 But there's a lot more there. 1170 00:57:13,391 --> 00:57:14,892 (ANNA LAUGHING) 1171 00:57:14,893 --> 00:57:17,094 Oh... 1172 00:57:17,520 --> 00:57:19,063 (SWALLOWING) 1173 00:57:19,064 --> 00:57:21,815 There's something wrong with my swallowing. 1174 00:57:21,816 --> 00:57:23,484 This is not how I usually swallow. 1175 00:57:23,485 --> 00:57:24,610 (SQUEAKING) 1176 00:57:24,611 --> 00:57:25,778 Oh, my God, Anna, he knows. 1177 00:57:25,779 --> 00:57:26,862 What, what, what? 1178 00:57:26,863 --> 00:57:28,947 He knows what we're doing, he knows what this is. 1179 00:57:28,948 --> 00:57:30,324 He knows what this is. 1180 00:57:30,325 --> 00:57:33,285 I don't wanna... No, I don't wanna join. 1181 00:57:33,286 --> 00:57:36,738 I don't wanna join up. 1182 00:57:51,721 --> 00:57:53,847 Suppertime, you lazy prick. 1183 00:57:53,848 --> 00:57:56,466 (SNORING) 1184 00:57:58,228 --> 00:58:00,854 Goddamn waste of lungs. 1185 00:58:00,855 --> 00:58:03,056 (GRUNTING) 1186 00:58:08,238 --> 00:58:11,273 Who's lazy now, Sheriff? 1187 00:58:13,952 --> 00:58:15,703 (CHUCKLES) 1188 00:58:15,704 --> 00:58:18,405 (FOLK MUSIC PLAYING) 1189 00:58:24,129 --> 00:58:26,747 (CROWD CHEERING) 1190 00:58:42,772 --> 00:58:45,432 (WHOOPING) 1191 00:58:56,453 --> 00:58:58,654 Hey. 1192 00:59:02,917 --> 00:59:04,418 Wow. 1193 00:59:04,419 --> 00:59:06,628 You look amazing. 1194 00:59:06,629 --> 00:59:08,630 And maybe a little uncomfortable. 1195 00:59:08,631 --> 00:59:10,758 Oh, shit! 1196 00:59:10,759 --> 00:59:12,593 I'm totally overdressed, aren't I? 1197 00:59:12,594 --> 00:59:13,927 No. 1198 00:59:13,928 --> 00:59:15,971 I've never done formal before. 1199 00:59:15,972 --> 00:59:18,307 And the lady at the boutique told me to buy this 1200 00:59:18,308 --> 00:59:19,725 and no one else is wearing this. 1201 00:59:19,726 --> 00:59:21,143 (STAMMERS) Who cares what... 1202 00:59:21,144 --> 00:59:23,937 These are all fuckers. You look fantastic. 1203 00:59:23,938 --> 00:59:26,315 I look like Jane Austen threw up all over me. 1204 00:59:26,316 --> 00:59:28,984 (LAUGHING) You do not look like Jane Austen threw... 1205 00:59:28,985 --> 00:59:31,362 No, you look absolutely beautiful. 1206 00:59:31,363 --> 00:59:32,738 You can breathe in that thing, right? 1207 00:59:32,739 --> 00:59:33,906 There's nothing I like more than 1208 00:59:33,907 --> 00:59:35,657 putting on some loose, baggy clothes, 1209 00:59:35,658 --> 00:59:37,409 and just being able to relax. 1210 00:59:37,410 --> 00:59:39,912 Yeah, this is an end-of-the-workday outfit you have on. 1211 00:59:39,913 --> 00:59:42,581 I'm very glad I remembered the six items 1212 00:59:42,582 --> 00:59:44,333 I somehow require to hold up my pants. 1213 00:59:44,334 --> 00:59:45,376 Oh, yeah. 1214 00:59:45,377 --> 00:59:46,585 I like your bustle, by the way. 1215 00:59:46,586 --> 00:59:47,753 Oh, yeah. 1216 00:59:47,754 --> 00:59:50,756 I really love that the most alluring fashion statement 1217 00:59:50,757 --> 00:59:52,174 a woman can make today 1218 00:59:52,175 --> 00:59:53,509 is to simulate a fat ass. 1219 00:59:53,510 --> 00:59:55,844 - That is a simulation of a fat ass, right there. - Thank you. 1220 00:59:55,845 --> 00:59:59,348 If I was a black guy, this is the meanest trick you could play on me. 1221 00:59:59,349 --> 01:00:01,809 Because I'd be like, "Oh, my God! Look. 1222 01:00:01,810 --> 01:00:03,394 "There's a fat ass, my favorite." 1223 01:00:03,395 --> 01:00:06,021 And then I'd lift it up and I'd be like, "Oh, shit, it's a big joke." 1224 01:00:06,022 --> 01:00:08,232 I know, exactly, because when you lift it up 1225 01:00:08,233 --> 01:00:10,442 there's nothing but a metal cage under there. 1226 01:00:10,443 --> 01:00:12,695 ALBERT: Wow! 1227 01:00:12,696 --> 01:00:15,364 You are ready to relieve the stress of the day. 1228 01:00:15,365 --> 01:00:18,275 Completely. 1229 01:00:18,868 --> 01:00:21,320 (SIGHS) 1230 01:00:21,413 --> 01:00:24,248 Well, at the very least, this will be a good way 1231 01:00:24,249 --> 01:00:26,458 to spend my last night alive, right? 1232 01:00:26,459 --> 01:00:27,626 Albert. 1233 01:00:27,627 --> 01:00:29,253 What? 1234 01:00:29,254 --> 01:00:31,830 Do you trust me? 1235 01:00:32,924 --> 01:00:34,925 Yeah, I do. 1236 01:00:34,926 --> 01:00:37,970 Good. You're gonna be fine. 1237 01:00:37,971 --> 01:00:39,722 If I thought you were gonna lose this gunfight, 1238 01:00:39,723 --> 01:00:43,634 I'd make you call it off. Okay? 1239 01:00:44,519 --> 01:00:45,978 (SIGHS) 1240 01:00:45,979 --> 01:00:48,430 Yeah, okay. 1241 01:00:48,440 --> 01:00:50,766 Trust me. 1242 01:00:51,901 --> 01:00:54,236 (CROWD CHEERING) 1243 01:00:54,237 --> 01:00:58,073 Hey, how about it for the James Gang? 1244 01:00:58,074 --> 01:01:01,618 Thank you. Hey, hey, it's great to be back here in Old Stump. 1245 01:01:01,619 --> 01:01:04,079 Any Indians here tonight? How'd you get tickets? 1246 01:01:04,080 --> 01:01:06,990 Let me guess. Scalpers. 1247 01:01:08,752 --> 01:01:12,129 But I tell ya, folks, this telegraph machine... That thing is nuts. 1248 01:01:12,130 --> 01:01:15,090 I mean, sure, it's faster than the Pony Express, 1249 01:01:15,091 --> 01:01:17,676 but what good is it if you can't send a picture of your dick? 1250 01:01:17,677 --> 01:01:19,094 (CROWD LAUGHING) 1251 01:01:19,095 --> 01:01:20,763 Okay, they're giving me the lantern. 1252 01:01:20,764 --> 01:01:23,432 Enjoy the bison and I hope you're enjoying your drinks 1253 01:01:23,433 --> 01:01:26,935 as much as my horse enjoyed making them for you. 1254 01:01:26,936 --> 01:01:31,306 Now, let's all line up for the sweetheart dance. 1255 01:01:31,775 --> 01:01:33,442 Come on, let's go. 1256 01:01:33,443 --> 01:01:35,110 No, no, no! I suck at dancing. 1257 01:01:35,111 --> 01:01:36,278 No one will notice. 1258 01:01:36,279 --> 01:01:37,363 How will they not notice? 1259 01:01:37,364 --> 01:01:39,690 Because you suck at everything. 1260 01:01:39,741 --> 01:01:41,116 Well, well! 1261 01:01:41,117 --> 01:01:43,786 Hello, there, sheepie. 1262 01:01:43,787 --> 01:01:46,372 Hello, Foy. Hey, Louise. 1263 01:01:46,373 --> 01:01:47,498 Hey, Albert. 1264 01:01:47,499 --> 01:01:49,833 So, big day tomorrow. 1265 01:01:49,834 --> 01:01:52,503 Care for a last dance? 1266 01:01:52,504 --> 01:01:53,962 With you? 1267 01:01:53,963 --> 01:01:55,547 No, not with me. 1268 01:01:55,548 --> 01:01:56,715 - I mean, the dance. - Oh! 1269 01:01:56,716 --> 01:01:58,967 Yeah. No, yeah, no. She and I are gonna dance. 1270 01:01:58,968 --> 01:02:01,470 And now, to serenade us for the sweetheart dance, 1271 01:02:01,471 --> 01:02:05,132 our very own Marcus Thornton! 1272 01:02:05,642 --> 01:02:08,010 Shit crowd. 1273 01:02:11,147 --> 01:02:13,348 (INAUDIBLE) 1274 01:02:15,443 --> 01:02:18,987 (SIGHS) Ready for weird, stiff, traditional frontier dancing? 1275 01:02:18,988 --> 01:02:20,072 Fuck, yes. 1276 01:02:20,073 --> 01:02:22,858 (FOLK MUSIC PLAYING) 1277 01:02:23,493 --> 01:02:25,452 You men who long for love 1278 01:02:25,453 --> 01:02:27,204 You mustn't all despair 1279 01:02:27,205 --> 01:02:29,665 There's a secret you should know 1280 01:02:29,666 --> 01:02:31,375 To capture the hearts of the fair 1281 01:02:31,376 --> 01:02:35,295 You may not have the looks You may not have the dash 1282 01:02:35,296 --> 01:02:37,214 But you'll win yourself a girl 1283 01:02:37,215 --> 01:02:39,008 If you've only got a moustache 1284 01:02:39,009 --> 01:02:41,135 A moustache A moustache 1285 01:02:41,136 --> 01:02:44,546 If you've only got a moustache 1286 01:02:46,766 --> 01:02:49,059 You may be common folk 1287 01:02:49,060 --> 01:02:50,894 Without a hint of pride 1288 01:02:50,895 --> 01:02:52,896 But you needn't be a king 1289 01:02:52,897 --> 01:02:54,898 To make any maiden a bride 1290 01:02:54,899 --> 01:02:59,069 You may not have the name You may not have the cash 1291 01:02:59,070 --> 01:03:00,696 But you'll make that girl your own 1292 01:03:00,697 --> 01:03:02,489 If you've only got a moustache 1293 01:03:02,490 --> 01:03:03,574 A moustache 1294 01:03:03,575 --> 01:03:07,486 A moustache If you've only got a moustache 1295 01:03:10,749 --> 01:03:12,541 You may be big and fat 1296 01:03:12,542 --> 01:03:14,376 Or uglier than sin 1297 01:03:14,377 --> 01:03:16,837 All the ladies shut you out 1298 01:03:16,838 --> 01:03:18,756 You're wondering how to get in 1299 01:03:18,757 --> 01:03:22,176 Well, here is my advice For how to make a splash 1300 01:03:22,177 --> 01:03:24,219 You can have your pick of gals 1301 01:03:24,220 --> 01:03:26,096 If you've only got a moustache 1302 01:03:26,097 --> 01:03:27,931 A moustache A moustache 1303 01:03:27,932 --> 01:03:29,933 If you've only got a moustache 1304 01:03:29,934 --> 01:03:33,228 A moustache, a moustache, a moustache 1305 01:03:33,229 --> 01:03:35,022 Big moustache, thick moustache 1306 01:03:35,023 --> 01:03:36,774 My moustache, your moustache 1307 01:03:36,775 --> 01:03:38,859 Say the word, the word "moustache" 1308 01:03:38,860 --> 01:03:40,736 A moustache, a moustache 1309 01:03:40,737 --> 01:03:42,488 Now we both have said "moustache" 1310 01:03:42,489 --> 01:03:43,739 A moustache 1311 01:03:43,740 --> 01:03:47,242 A moustache If you've only got a moustache 1312 01:03:47,243 --> 01:03:49,695 (CROWD CHEERING) 1313 01:03:54,292 --> 01:03:56,585 Fucking asshole. 1314 01:03:56,586 --> 01:03:59,588 How about I steal a bottle of whiskey and we get out of here? 1315 01:03:59,589 --> 01:04:00,756 Love that idea. 1316 01:04:00,757 --> 01:04:03,250 I'll be right back. 1317 01:04:03,468 --> 01:04:06,295 Your dick's out. 1318 01:04:18,274 --> 01:04:19,483 (TALKING INDISTINCTLY) 1319 01:04:19,484 --> 01:04:20,943 (LAUGHING) 1320 01:04:20,944 --> 01:04:22,945 Hey. 1321 01:04:22,946 --> 01:04:25,406 So, Albert and I are gonna split, 1322 01:04:25,407 --> 01:04:28,450 but I just wanted to come by and wish you luck tomorrow. 1323 01:04:28,451 --> 01:04:30,986 Thank you. 1324 01:04:31,496 --> 01:04:32,955 So, I guess it's kind of weird 1325 01:04:32,956 --> 01:04:34,331 knowing that a woman can outshoot you, huh? 1326 01:04:34,332 --> 01:04:35,416 If you don't mind, 1327 01:04:35,417 --> 01:04:37,251 my girlfriend and I are enjoying each other's company. 1328 01:04:37,252 --> 01:04:39,786 Want to know the real kicker, though? 1329 01:04:40,505 --> 01:04:43,290 I can outdrink you, too. 1330 01:04:43,466 --> 01:04:48,795 That, I can assure you, is impossible. 1331 01:04:49,305 --> 01:04:52,507 Fifty cents to the winner. 1332 01:04:53,977 --> 01:04:55,644 One, 1333 01:04:55,645 --> 01:04:57,438 two, 1334 01:04:57,439 --> 01:04:59,640 three. 1335 01:05:02,485 --> 01:05:03,861 (GRUNTS) 1336 01:05:03,862 --> 01:05:05,154 Oh, shit! 1337 01:05:05,155 --> 01:05:06,238 Don't feel bad. 1338 01:05:06,239 --> 01:05:10,451 Alcohol doesn't harmonize well with a woman's frail constitution, anyway. 1339 01:05:10,452 --> 01:05:11,785 I guess not. 1340 01:05:11,786 --> 01:05:13,120 Here you go. 1341 01:05:13,121 --> 01:05:15,456 You can buy your girlfriend a brain. 1342 01:05:15,457 --> 01:05:16,874 Excuse me? 1343 01:05:16,875 --> 01:05:18,625 You're an idiot. 1344 01:05:18,626 --> 01:05:21,712 You have the nicest guy in the world throwing himself at your feet 1345 01:05:21,713 --> 01:05:24,173 and here you are with this complete asshole. 1346 01:05:24,174 --> 01:05:26,717 Who I go out with is my own business. 1347 01:05:26,718 --> 01:05:29,928 So, why don't you mind your own, bitch? 1348 01:05:29,929 --> 01:05:34,341 How are you so blind with eyes that big? 1349 01:05:35,518 --> 01:05:37,936 Enjoy your night. 1350 01:05:37,937 --> 01:05:40,064 - (HUFFS) - They're not that big. 1351 01:05:40,065 --> 01:05:42,691 No, my dear, they're practically Chinese. 1352 01:05:42,692 --> 01:05:43,859 God, I love you. 1353 01:05:43,860 --> 01:05:46,436 - I love you, too. - (MOANING) 1354 01:05:51,534 --> 01:05:53,827 How's that? 1355 01:05:53,828 --> 01:05:55,371 Ooh. (COUGHING) 1356 01:05:55,372 --> 01:05:56,580 - Wow. - (INHALES SHARPLY) 1357 01:05:56,581 --> 01:05:58,374 - Um... - It'll keep us warm, though. 1358 01:05:58,375 --> 01:05:59,541 Are you cold? 1359 01:05:59,542 --> 01:06:00,668 A little. 1360 01:06:00,669 --> 01:06:01,710 Here, take... 1361 01:06:01,711 --> 01:06:03,587 - No, no, no! It's okay. - No, it's fine. Here. 1362 01:06:03,588 --> 01:06:08,425 This has been in my family for 97 generations. 1363 01:06:08,426 --> 01:06:09,551 (SIGHS) 1364 01:06:09,552 --> 01:06:12,012 I can't get that goddamn moustache song out of my head. 1365 01:06:12,013 --> 01:06:13,597 Oh, just think of another song. 1366 01:06:13,598 --> 01:06:15,724 I can't. There's only, like, three songs. 1367 01:06:15,725 --> 01:06:18,018 Oh, that's true. And they're all by Stephen Foster. 1368 01:06:18,019 --> 01:06:20,187 Yeah. 1369 01:06:20,188 --> 01:06:21,730 Mmm. 1370 01:06:21,731 --> 01:06:24,233 (SIGHS) Um... 1371 01:06:24,234 --> 01:06:25,943 Hey, you know, whatever happens tomorrow, 1372 01:06:25,944 --> 01:06:30,114 I just... I just want to say thank you. 1373 01:06:30,115 --> 01:06:31,407 Uh... 1374 01:06:31,408 --> 01:06:35,744 I couldn't have gotten this far without you. 1375 01:06:35,745 --> 01:06:40,749 And this may be the booze talking, or your pep talk, or both, 1376 01:06:40,750 --> 01:06:43,085 but I think I can do it. 1377 01:06:43,086 --> 01:06:45,087 You know, I think I can beat him. 1378 01:06:45,088 --> 01:06:47,214 Well, I'll tell you this, you sound a lot more confident 1379 01:06:47,215 --> 01:06:51,293 than that guy who dragged me out of the saloon not too long ago. 1380 01:06:51,386 --> 01:06:52,428 You know, it's funny. 1381 01:06:52,429 --> 01:06:54,430 I still feel like I don't know 1382 01:06:54,431 --> 01:06:57,516 anything about you after all this time. 1383 01:06:57,517 --> 01:07:02,804 And I feel like every time I bring it up, you change the subject. 1384 01:07:02,939 --> 01:07:05,399 There really isn't that much to tell. 1385 01:07:05,400 --> 01:07:08,986 My story is a lot like yours, I suppose. 1386 01:07:08,987 --> 01:07:12,656 Because I'll tell you, I hate the West just as much as you do. 1387 01:07:12,657 --> 01:07:13,782 Do you really? 1388 01:07:13,783 --> 01:07:15,325 For my own reasons, but, yeah. 1389 01:07:15,326 --> 01:07:17,786 Oh, I like you even more now. 1390 01:07:17,787 --> 01:07:20,456 There is something about connecting over mutual hatred 1391 01:07:20,457 --> 01:07:22,291 that's just so much deeper than mutual love. 1392 01:07:22,292 --> 01:07:23,417 It's true, right? 1393 01:07:23,418 --> 01:07:26,253 If two people hate the same things, it creates a bond. 1394 01:07:26,254 --> 01:07:27,463 Hate can move mountains. 1395 01:07:27,464 --> 01:07:28,630 (LAUGHING) Yes. 1396 01:07:28,631 --> 01:07:30,466 Oh, hey, you know what? Before I forget. 1397 01:07:30,467 --> 01:07:32,301 Hey, Bridget, Bridget. 1398 01:07:32,302 --> 01:07:34,178 - Yeah, she knows. Come here. There we go. - (ANNA LAUGHING) 1399 01:07:34,179 --> 01:07:35,846 ANNA: Oh, my God. 1400 01:07:35,847 --> 01:07:37,598 What is this? 1401 01:07:37,599 --> 01:07:41,268 This is just a little something to say thank you. 1402 01:07:41,269 --> 01:07:42,353 Albert. 1403 01:07:42,354 --> 01:07:46,473 It's nothing huge, it's just... 1404 01:07:47,359 --> 01:07:48,650 Okay, don't get too excited. 1405 01:07:48,651 --> 01:07:51,019 What is it? What is it? What is it? 1406 01:07:52,655 --> 01:07:53,989 Holy shit. 1407 01:07:53,990 --> 01:07:55,366 ALBERT: (LAUGHING) I know, right? 1408 01:07:55,367 --> 01:07:56,658 - He's smiling. - Yeah. 1409 01:07:56,659 --> 01:07:58,035 No, in the picture, he's smiling! 1410 01:07:58,036 --> 01:07:59,119 ALBERT: Isn't that amazing? 1411 01:07:59,120 --> 01:08:01,246 I bought that off a peddler who was coming through town last week. 1412 01:08:01,247 --> 01:08:03,248 - This is the guy I was telling you about. - Uh-huh. 1413 01:08:03,249 --> 01:08:04,500 I didn't even know this existed. 1414 01:08:04,501 --> 01:08:06,794 - And apparently, he's not insane. - Bullshit! 1415 01:08:06,795 --> 01:08:07,961 That's what the guy told me. 1416 01:08:07,962 --> 01:08:10,172 It takes 30 seconds to take a photograph. 1417 01:08:10,173 --> 01:08:11,590 This guy would have had to sit there 1418 01:08:11,591 --> 01:08:13,384 and smile for 30 sustained seconds. 1419 01:08:13,385 --> 01:08:15,928 I know. I've never been happy for 30 seconds in a row in my life. 1420 01:08:15,929 --> 01:08:18,347 No one has. It's the fucking West! 1421 01:08:18,348 --> 01:08:19,807 He's gotta be insane! 1422 01:08:19,808 --> 01:08:22,551 Who the fuck knows? 1423 01:08:25,772 --> 01:08:28,190 This is incredibly sweet. 1424 01:08:28,191 --> 01:08:31,360 (STAMMERING) It's nothing. It's... 1425 01:08:31,361 --> 01:08:34,062 I owe you. 1426 01:08:34,447 --> 01:08:38,150 No one's ever done anything like this for me. 1427 01:08:38,326 --> 01:08:40,285 Oh, come on, now. (CHUCKLES) 1428 01:08:40,286 --> 01:08:43,071 Thank you. 1429 01:09:12,277 --> 01:09:14,820 Uh... 1430 01:09:14,821 --> 01:09:16,739 I'm sorry. 1431 01:09:16,740 --> 01:09:19,942 I... I shouldn't have done that. 1432 01:09:21,036 --> 01:09:24,913 No, it's... It's fine. 1433 01:09:24,914 --> 01:09:26,749 You... 1434 01:09:26,750 --> 01:09:31,578 You've just been a really good friend to me. That's all. 1435 01:09:34,382 --> 01:09:38,252 Yeah. I, um... 1436 01:09:39,262 --> 01:09:40,846 It's late. 1437 01:09:40,847 --> 01:09:43,599 Yeah, I should take you home. 1438 01:09:43,600 --> 01:09:46,134 (CHUCKLES) 1439 01:10:05,955 --> 01:10:08,448 - (GRUNTS) - (CHUCKLES) 1440 01:10:22,263 --> 01:10:24,640 Oh, thanks. 1441 01:10:24,641 --> 01:10:28,310 Good luck tomorrow. I'm gonna be there. 1442 01:10:28,311 --> 01:10:31,013 Good. (CHUCKLES) 1443 01:10:31,398 --> 01:10:33,724 Okay. 1444 01:10:59,175 --> 01:11:00,926 Um... (CLEARS THROAT) 1445 01:11:00,927 --> 01:11:02,970 (CHUCKLES) Good night. 1446 01:11:02,971 --> 01:11:05,339 Good night. 1447 01:11:34,461 --> 01:11:36,662 (HORSE NEIGHS) 1448 01:11:51,227 --> 01:11:53,679 (CRACKLING) 1449 01:12:03,198 --> 01:12:05,440 Hello? 1450 01:12:05,617 --> 01:12:08,151 (EXCLAIMS) 1451 01:12:10,497 --> 01:12:12,915 What, uh... What's that? 1452 01:12:12,916 --> 01:12:15,951 Nothing. (STUTTERING) 1453 01:12:15,960 --> 01:12:19,088 It's a weather experiment. 1454 01:12:19,089 --> 01:12:21,373 Oh. 1455 01:12:23,259 --> 01:12:26,211 Great Scott! 1456 01:12:30,767 --> 01:12:32,518 Are you sure you can't call it off? 1457 01:12:32,519 --> 01:12:35,354 Of course not. I'd be branded a coward. 1458 01:12:35,355 --> 01:12:38,399 Baby, if you fight him tomorrow, you will kill him. 1459 01:12:38,400 --> 01:12:40,984 Yes, that's what happens in a gunfight. 1460 01:12:40,985 --> 01:12:43,529 But he's not a bad guy, Foy. 1461 01:12:43,530 --> 01:12:45,406 I mean, yeah, he's kind of a loser 1462 01:12:45,407 --> 01:12:47,408 and he always smells like sheep, 1463 01:12:47,409 --> 01:12:48,617 but he doesn't deserve to be shot. 1464 01:12:48,618 --> 01:12:49,993 Louise! 1465 01:12:49,994 --> 01:12:52,329 My decision is final. 1466 01:12:52,330 --> 01:12:53,831 Now, do it. 1467 01:12:53,832 --> 01:12:55,082 Hey, I'm really tired. 1468 01:12:55,083 --> 01:12:57,784 Louise! 1469 01:13:04,718 --> 01:13:07,294 (MOANING) 1470 01:13:09,889 --> 01:13:13,267 My social stature is significant. 1471 01:13:13,268 --> 01:13:15,853 I'm an important man. 1472 01:13:15,854 --> 01:13:17,938 I have my own business. 1473 01:13:17,939 --> 01:13:20,482 People envy me. 1474 01:13:20,483 --> 01:13:22,401 (STOMACH RUMBLING) 1475 01:13:22,402 --> 01:13:24,486 Ooh... 1476 01:13:24,487 --> 01:13:26,855 - What's wrong? - (GROANS) 1477 01:13:27,032 --> 01:13:30,275 - Foy! - Not now! 1478 01:13:54,517 --> 01:13:56,969 (KNOCK ON DOOR) 1479 01:14:08,615 --> 01:14:11,984 Hello, sweetheart. 1480 01:14:31,054 --> 01:14:33,589 (MOUTHING) Where's Anna? 1481 01:14:53,535 --> 01:14:56,486 (STOMACH RUMBLING) 1482 01:15:07,257 --> 01:15:09,458 (SIGHS) 1483 01:15:09,509 --> 01:15:11,793 Well, now, 1484 01:15:11,928 --> 01:15:15,431 I didn't think you'd show, sheepie. 1485 01:15:15,432 --> 01:15:18,800 Yeah, listen, Foy... 1486 01:15:23,606 --> 01:15:25,807 Oh... 1487 01:15:26,026 --> 01:15:28,610 Oh. Oh... 1488 01:15:28,611 --> 01:15:30,612 (FARTING) 1489 01:15:30,613 --> 01:15:32,940 (GASPING) 1490 01:15:33,408 --> 01:15:35,776 (FARTING) 1491 01:15:41,332 --> 01:15:44,618 (SIGHING) 1492 01:15:46,463 --> 01:15:48,664 (FARTS) 1493 01:16:07,817 --> 01:16:09,485 (FARTS) 1494 01:16:09,486 --> 01:16:12,020 (SIGHS DEEPLY) 1495 01:16:12,822 --> 01:16:15,357 (STRAINING) 1496 01:16:33,134 --> 01:16:35,844 Holy shit. You all... You all done? 1497 01:16:35,845 --> 01:16:37,721 I'm good. 1498 01:16:37,722 --> 01:16:39,965 Okay. 1499 01:16:41,017 --> 01:16:43,886 Listen, Foy, 1500 01:16:47,524 --> 01:16:50,350 she's all yours. 1501 01:16:51,111 --> 01:16:52,194 (SIGHS) 1502 01:16:52,195 --> 01:16:54,571 Louise, 1503 01:16:54,572 --> 01:16:56,573 you know, I really do care about you. 1504 01:16:56,574 --> 01:16:59,868 But, I don't know, somewhere along the line 1505 01:16:59,869 --> 01:17:05,407 I guess I just forgot that a relationship is a two-way street. 1506 01:17:05,625 --> 01:17:08,752 And I've been reminded recently 1507 01:17:08,753 --> 01:17:12,831 of what it's like to have somebody care about me. 1508 01:17:13,091 --> 01:17:15,584 And I like it. 1509 01:17:15,677 --> 01:17:19,847 So, if you want to spend the rest of your life with a pussy full of hair, 1510 01:17:19,848 --> 01:17:24,384 I say, go with God and best of luck to you. 1511 01:17:29,733 --> 01:17:32,109 You know, I just realized that last joke might not have been clear. 1512 01:17:32,110 --> 01:17:34,570 I didn't mean that she has a hairy pussy. 1513 01:17:34,571 --> 01:17:37,865 I meant that Foy has a moustache, 1514 01:17:37,866 --> 01:17:42,494 so, you know, he gets hair in her 1515 01:17:42,495 --> 01:17:47,157 when he goes down there. 1516 01:17:47,751 --> 01:17:50,911 Yeah. (IMITATING GUNFIRE) 1517 01:17:54,341 --> 01:17:56,792 I got it. 1518 01:18:08,980 --> 01:18:11,682 Anna? 1519 01:18:23,828 --> 01:18:27,155 - Coward. - Thank you. 1520 01:18:27,415 --> 01:18:29,166 She's not there. 1521 01:18:29,167 --> 01:18:31,460 - Well, I'm sure she's okay. - I don't understand. 1522 01:18:31,461 --> 01:18:33,128 We've been prepping for this gunfight for a week. 1523 01:18:33,129 --> 01:18:34,421 She wouldn't just not show up. 1524 01:18:34,422 --> 01:18:37,508 Hey, do you... Do you think you guys are gonna have sex? 1525 01:18:37,509 --> 01:18:38,634 Uh... 1526 01:18:38,635 --> 01:18:40,636 Maybe, at some point. I don't know. 1527 01:18:40,637 --> 01:18:42,179 Well, when you do, let us know 1528 01:18:42,180 --> 01:18:44,515 because maybe we can make it an all-us-friends thing. 1529 01:18:44,516 --> 01:18:46,684 You know, we can all get in sync together, sexually. 1530 01:18:46,685 --> 01:18:49,436 - Edward, we are not having sex. - Sorry. 1531 01:18:49,437 --> 01:18:50,813 Ruth! Let's fuck! 1532 01:18:50,814 --> 01:18:52,981 Coming! 1533 01:18:52,982 --> 01:18:56,393 (CHUCKLING) She keeps my head on straight. 1534 01:19:13,545 --> 01:19:15,462 (WHISPERING) Clinch Leatherwood. 1535 01:19:15,463 --> 01:19:16,547 Great. 1536 01:19:16,548 --> 01:19:18,841 Look at this. Another thing that can kill us. 1537 01:19:18,842 --> 01:19:21,135 We should all just wear coffins as clothes. 1538 01:19:21,136 --> 01:19:22,678 Shh. 1539 01:19:22,679 --> 01:19:28,050 Somebody in this wee shithole of a town is going to die. 1540 01:19:28,309 --> 01:19:34,064 One of my boys saw a man kissing my wife last night. 1541 01:19:34,065 --> 01:19:36,025 I want to know who it was. 1542 01:19:36,026 --> 01:19:37,693 Oh, man! 1543 01:19:37,694 --> 01:19:41,155 Somebody's gonna get fucked up. 1544 01:19:41,156 --> 01:19:43,866 Now, you all seem like good folk. 1545 01:19:43,867 --> 01:19:48,528 And good folk know better than to take what isn't theirs. 1546 01:19:48,830 --> 01:19:51,698 And this... (WHISTLES) 1547 01:19:59,924 --> 01:20:02,751 This is mine. 1548 01:20:04,262 --> 01:20:07,556 So, I'm going to ask one more time. 1549 01:20:07,557 --> 01:20:10,467 Who was it? 1550 01:20:10,894 --> 01:20:13,303 Mmm? 1551 01:20:15,523 --> 01:20:17,891 Who? 1552 01:20:20,278 --> 01:20:22,646 (CROWD GASPS) 1553 01:20:24,866 --> 01:20:27,242 Now, you make sure he gets this message. 1554 01:20:27,243 --> 01:20:32,081 Either he meets me outside in the main thoroughfare at noon tomorrow 1555 01:20:32,082 --> 01:20:34,416 or I start killing more people. 1556 01:20:34,417 --> 01:20:36,952 All right? (SCOFFS) 1557 01:20:43,760 --> 01:20:46,628 Albert, you gotta get out of here. 1558 01:21:05,156 --> 01:21:07,116 (HORSE NEIGHS) 1559 01:21:07,117 --> 01:21:08,784 (HUFFS) 1560 01:21:08,785 --> 01:21:13,414 Boys, there's an abandoned sod house back around that bend. 1561 01:21:13,415 --> 01:21:14,957 We'll stash the gold there. 1562 01:21:14,958 --> 01:21:17,167 Ben, you take the men and set up camp. 1563 01:21:17,168 --> 01:21:19,712 I need some alone time with my wife. 1564 01:21:19,713 --> 01:21:20,796 Got it, Clinch. 1565 01:21:20,797 --> 01:21:22,965 Let's go, boys. Come on! 1566 01:21:22,966 --> 01:21:25,834 Go on, get down. 1567 01:21:29,764 --> 01:21:30,848 (GROANS) 1568 01:21:30,849 --> 01:21:32,641 Who was it? 1569 01:21:32,642 --> 01:21:34,184 Huh? 1570 01:21:34,185 --> 01:21:35,978 Mark Twain. 1571 01:21:35,979 --> 01:21:37,771 What? Is it? 1572 01:21:37,772 --> 01:21:40,983 Jesus. How fucking stupid are you? 1573 01:21:40,984 --> 01:21:42,151 Whoa! Whoa! Whoa! 1574 01:21:42,152 --> 01:21:43,444 Who? 1575 01:21:43,445 --> 01:21:44,945 (EXHALING) 1576 01:21:44,946 --> 01:21:47,114 I'm not gonna ask you again. Who? 1577 01:21:47,115 --> 01:21:51,368 Okay, it's... It's Sheriff Brady. But please, please, please. 1578 01:21:51,369 --> 01:21:54,621 I'm begging you. Don't hurt him, okay? 1579 01:21:54,622 --> 01:21:56,457 After all the lovely years we've been together 1580 01:21:56,458 --> 01:21:58,334 you think I don't know when you're lying? 1581 01:21:58,335 --> 01:22:01,036 - I'm not. - (BARKING) 1582 01:22:03,006 --> 01:22:05,707 Plugger. 1583 01:22:06,801 --> 01:22:10,554 Tell me who it is or Plugger gets plugged between his pretty eyes. 1584 01:22:10,555 --> 01:22:13,757 - Come on, Clinch. - You think I'm joking? 1585 01:22:13,892 --> 01:22:16,101 Whoa! Whoa! Whoa! Okay, okay, okay. 1586 01:22:16,102 --> 01:22:17,311 Who? 1587 01:22:17,312 --> 01:22:19,721 (SIGHS) 1588 01:22:21,483 --> 01:22:23,692 It's Albert Stark. 1589 01:22:23,693 --> 01:22:26,645 Albert Stark. 1590 01:22:26,696 --> 01:22:29,565 That's better. 1591 01:22:32,077 --> 01:22:34,244 I've been keeping it nice and soft. 1592 01:22:34,245 --> 01:22:36,738 See? 1593 01:22:40,251 --> 01:22:43,045 (MOANING) 1594 01:22:43,046 --> 01:22:44,129 Mmm! 1595 01:22:44,130 --> 01:22:48,050 I've missed you, baby. Oh, I've missed you a lot. 1596 01:22:48,051 --> 01:22:49,218 (COUGHS) 1597 01:22:49,219 --> 01:22:53,347 The longer the ride, the lonelier a man gets. 1598 01:22:53,348 --> 01:22:56,016 And he needs the comforting touch 1599 01:22:56,017 --> 01:23:00,229 of the woman he loves to soothe his tired bones. 1600 01:23:00,230 --> 01:23:02,231 And now, I'm here, 1601 01:23:02,232 --> 01:23:03,899 you're here, 1602 01:23:03,900 --> 01:23:06,860 and we have time to be husband and wife. 1603 01:23:06,861 --> 01:23:08,070 The proper way. 1604 01:23:08,071 --> 01:23:09,571 Hey, asshole. 1605 01:23:09,572 --> 01:23:11,899 (GRUNTS) 1606 01:23:14,244 --> 01:23:16,537 (HUFFS) 1607 01:23:16,538 --> 01:23:18,989 (GRUNTS) 1608 01:23:21,418 --> 01:23:22,626 Oh, shit. 1609 01:23:22,627 --> 01:23:25,787 I can't leave him like that. 1610 01:23:35,598 --> 01:23:37,799 That's better. 1611 01:23:50,196 --> 01:23:52,814 (HORSE APPROACHING) 1612 01:24:08,506 --> 01:24:09,631 (POUNDING ON DOOR) 1613 01:24:09,632 --> 01:24:12,251 ANNA: Albert? 1614 01:24:14,846 --> 01:24:16,305 Albert! 1615 01:24:16,306 --> 01:24:17,765 Albert, you gotta get out of here. 1616 01:24:17,766 --> 01:24:19,683 Yeah, that's... That's what I'm doing. 1617 01:24:19,684 --> 01:24:21,310 No, no, no. Like, right now. 1618 01:24:21,311 --> 01:24:22,770 Clinch is gonna be looking for you. 1619 01:24:22,771 --> 01:24:24,438 Yeah, I'm leaving. 1620 01:24:24,439 --> 01:24:26,065 Uh, I'm going to San Francisco. 1621 01:24:26,066 --> 01:24:29,985 Just what I should have done a week ago. 1622 01:24:29,986 --> 01:24:31,195 I'm so sorry. 1623 01:24:31,196 --> 01:24:33,447 Yeah, well, you know, so am I. 1624 01:24:33,448 --> 01:24:35,115 What about your dad? 1625 01:24:35,116 --> 01:24:37,743 I asked him if he wanted to come, and he said no. 1626 01:24:37,744 --> 01:24:41,196 He's up on the hill, burying himself next to Mom. 1627 01:24:42,374 --> 01:24:43,749 Look, I never meant to mislead... 1628 01:24:43,750 --> 01:24:44,833 Okay, you know what, Anna? 1629 01:24:44,834 --> 01:24:46,710 Don't even waste my time, okay? 1630 01:24:46,711 --> 01:24:47,836 Don't even waste my time. 1631 01:24:47,837 --> 01:24:51,507 You had a million opportunities to tell me, and you just fucking lied. 1632 01:24:51,508 --> 01:24:52,633 I didn't lie. 1633 01:24:52,634 --> 01:24:53,759 What would you call it? 1634 01:24:53,760 --> 01:24:57,012 You're married to the most vicious killer in the territory. 1635 01:24:57,013 --> 01:24:59,723 You don't think maybe that's something you should have told me? 1636 01:24:59,724 --> 01:25:02,017 I didn't tell you because I was trying to protect you. 1637 01:25:02,018 --> 01:25:04,353 Oh, bullshit! You were looking out for your own self-interest. 1638 01:25:04,354 --> 01:25:07,231 And because I liked you. 1639 01:25:07,232 --> 01:25:10,192 I didn't want to scare you away. 1640 01:25:10,193 --> 01:25:12,736 I never thought I'd meet someone like you, Albert. 1641 01:25:12,737 --> 01:25:14,905 What, somebody who hasn't killed people? Somebody like that? 1642 01:25:14,906 --> 01:25:16,198 Yeah, that's really hard to find. 1643 01:25:16,199 --> 01:25:17,366 That's why women are always going, 1644 01:25:17,367 --> 01:25:20,536 "Oh, my God. Why are all the non-murderers taken?" 1645 01:25:20,537 --> 01:25:22,204 Hey. It's not my fault, all right? 1646 01:25:22,205 --> 01:25:24,039 We were married when I was nine. 1647 01:25:24,040 --> 01:25:26,125 Nine? (SCOFFS) 1648 01:25:26,126 --> 01:25:28,085 How does that even work? Was there a ceremony? 1649 01:25:28,086 --> 01:25:29,211 Yeah, of course there was a... 1650 01:25:29,212 --> 01:25:31,547 My parents were there, and a couple of neighbors. 1651 01:25:31,548 --> 01:25:33,007 I just didn't want to end up like one of those 1652 01:25:33,008 --> 01:25:35,968 15-year-old spinsters, you know? 1653 01:25:35,969 --> 01:25:38,053 You know, I don't even know... 1654 01:25:38,054 --> 01:25:40,639 I don't even know why I'm surprised. 1655 01:25:40,640 --> 01:25:43,892 Every girl that I ever fall in love with ends up disappointing me. 1656 01:25:43,893 --> 01:25:47,596 And every time, I'm surprised. 1657 01:25:49,315 --> 01:25:50,649 You love me? 1658 01:25:50,650 --> 01:25:52,985 Oh, you know what? I'm over it. You can go. 1659 01:25:52,986 --> 01:25:54,611 All right. I lied, fine. 1660 01:25:54,612 --> 01:25:56,905 What was I supposed to say, Albert? Tell me. 1661 01:25:56,906 --> 01:25:58,657 Was I supposed to go, "Oh hi, I'm Anna! 1662 01:25:58,658 --> 01:26:00,325 "I've been fucking a killer since I was 10"? 1663 01:26:00,326 --> 01:26:02,286 Oh, he waited a year? What a gentleman. 1664 01:26:02,287 --> 01:26:03,787 Well, late nine. I rounded it up. 1665 01:26:03,788 --> 01:26:05,205 It doesn't matter. I'm done with him. 1666 01:26:05,206 --> 01:26:08,667 I knocked him out, and I stuck a daisy in his asshole. 1667 01:26:08,668 --> 01:26:10,419 You what? 1668 01:26:10,420 --> 01:26:13,172 That's how much you mean to me. 1669 01:26:13,173 --> 01:26:15,749 You know, 1670 01:26:16,176 --> 01:26:21,255 I loved a girl who doesn't even exist. 1671 01:26:21,431 --> 01:26:24,475 Is your name even Anna? Huh? 1672 01:26:24,476 --> 01:26:26,602 Or is it something terrible, like Gwendolyn? 1673 01:26:26,603 --> 01:26:31,857 My name is Anna. I'm that same girl you fell in love with. 1674 01:26:31,858 --> 01:26:34,643 That was the real me. 1675 01:26:34,861 --> 01:26:39,073 Possibly for the first time in my entire life. 1676 01:26:39,074 --> 01:26:40,866 I just didn't think I deserved a good guy. 1677 01:26:40,867 --> 01:26:44,111 But you know what? I do. 1678 01:26:46,873 --> 01:26:49,449 I love you. 1679 01:26:56,091 --> 01:26:57,966 (SHEEP BLEATING) 1680 01:26:57,967 --> 01:27:00,627 (HORSES APPROACHING) 1681 01:27:04,432 --> 01:27:05,766 It's Clinch. 1682 01:27:05,767 --> 01:27:08,719 Oh, shit. 1683 01:27:08,728 --> 01:27:10,187 There's a trail out back that leads out to the ridge. 1684 01:27:10,188 --> 01:27:11,522 Go. 1685 01:27:11,523 --> 01:27:14,516 - He's gonna kill... - Anna, just go! 1686 01:27:15,860 --> 01:27:21,148 Albert, he always shoots on "two." 1687 01:27:23,451 --> 01:27:25,861 (BLEATING) 1688 01:27:37,549 --> 01:27:40,209 (HORSE NEIGHS) 1689 01:27:40,844 --> 01:27:41,927 (HUFFS) 1690 01:27:41,928 --> 01:27:46,006 Enoch, Jordy, look after the horses. 1691 01:28:06,828 --> 01:28:08,454 He ain't here, Clinch. 1692 01:28:08,455 --> 01:28:12,991 Oh, he's around. He's around. 1693 01:28:18,715 --> 01:28:20,716 Stark! 1694 01:28:20,717 --> 01:28:23,710 I know you're here, Stark! 1695 01:28:23,720 --> 01:28:27,798 Ben, check the outhouse. Lewis, the shed. 1696 01:28:41,905 --> 01:28:44,606 (BLEATING) 1697 01:29:06,471 --> 01:29:09,089 (GASPING) 1698 01:29:10,684 --> 01:29:13,176 (GUN COCKS) 1699 01:29:18,274 --> 01:29:20,109 Lewis. 1700 01:29:20,110 --> 01:29:22,194 Sometime this week, yeah? 1701 01:29:22,195 --> 01:29:24,646 Sorry, boss. 1702 01:29:30,036 --> 01:29:32,321 (GUN COCKS) 1703 01:29:38,420 --> 01:29:40,621 (BLEATING) 1704 01:29:57,689 --> 01:29:59,398 Hey! 1705 01:29:59,399 --> 01:30:02,351 There he goes! Boss! 1706 01:30:06,197 --> 01:30:08,398 Shit. 1707 01:30:11,161 --> 01:30:13,695 - Get him! - (HORSE NEIGHING) 1708 01:30:32,015 --> 01:30:34,216 Hyah! 1709 01:30:49,407 --> 01:30:51,692 (TRAIN HORN BLOWS) 1710 01:30:59,751 --> 01:31:02,035 (GRUNTING) 1711 01:31:04,089 --> 01:31:05,923 (TRAIN HORN BLOWS) 1712 01:31:05,924 --> 01:31:08,125 Hyah! 1713 01:31:21,731 --> 01:31:23,482 Ha! 1714 01:31:23,483 --> 01:31:26,476 (TRAIN HORN BLOWING) 1715 01:31:32,867 --> 01:31:35,068 (HORSE NEIGHS) 1716 01:31:48,591 --> 01:31:50,959 (HUFFS) 1717 01:31:57,225 --> 01:32:00,227 What in the hell do we do now? 1718 01:32:00,228 --> 01:32:03,263 He'll be back. 1719 01:32:17,746 --> 01:32:21,331 Ah, Curtis. That was exceptional, buddy. 1720 01:32:21,332 --> 01:32:22,499 I tell you, 1721 01:32:22,500 --> 01:32:24,960 when we get out of this, I'm gonna get you some horse whores. 1722 01:32:24,961 --> 01:32:26,170 Sound good? 1723 01:32:26,171 --> 01:32:27,629 Get you whatever you want. 1724 01:32:27,630 --> 01:32:29,757 Can even get you a cow, if you want one of those. 1725 01:32:29,758 --> 01:32:31,342 Want to fuck a cow? 1726 01:32:31,343 --> 01:32:34,386 You seem like a pretty sexually adventurous guy. 1727 01:32:34,387 --> 01:32:36,880 (BREATHING HEAVILY) 1728 01:32:40,477 --> 01:32:44,012 Now, how the fuck do you make a fire? 1729 01:32:46,232 --> 01:32:48,400 EDWARD: Are you sure you want to do this? 1730 01:32:48,401 --> 01:32:50,569 RUTH: Yes, I'm absolutely sure. 1731 01:32:50,570 --> 01:32:53,322 EDWARD: Wow, I can't believe we're actually gonna have sex. (CHUCKLES) 1732 01:32:53,323 --> 01:32:56,575 RUTH: Eddie, with Clinch Leatherwood in town, we could all die tomorrow. 1733 01:32:56,576 --> 01:32:58,994 So, under the circumstances, 1734 01:32:58,995 --> 01:33:01,330 I think God will forgive us. 1735 01:33:01,331 --> 01:33:02,998 Okay, here we go. 1736 01:33:02,999 --> 01:33:04,041 Are you excited? 1737 01:33:04,042 --> 01:33:05,834 Yeah, this is my first vagina. 1738 01:33:05,835 --> 01:33:07,336 You've never seen one? 1739 01:33:07,337 --> 01:33:09,755 No. I feel like I should have a piece of cake or something. 1740 01:33:09,756 --> 01:33:10,839 Okay, you ready? 1741 01:33:10,840 --> 01:33:13,166 - Yeah. - Okay. 1742 01:33:17,013 --> 01:33:19,548 (SOFTLY) Okay. 1743 01:33:21,267 --> 01:33:23,719 What? 1744 01:33:24,020 --> 01:33:25,854 Are you in pain right now? 1745 01:33:25,855 --> 01:33:26,897 You don't like it. 1746 01:33:26,898 --> 01:33:28,399 No, I love it! 1747 01:33:28,400 --> 01:33:29,983 Yeah, yeah, it's just... 1748 01:33:29,984 --> 01:33:31,527 (CHUCKLING) 1749 01:33:31,528 --> 01:33:34,613 It looks like a firecracker wrapped in roast beef. 1750 01:33:34,614 --> 01:33:36,365 Yeah, but there's more to it. 1751 01:33:36,366 --> 01:33:38,325 That's just the outside. There's folds. 1752 01:33:38,326 --> 01:33:40,202 Okay! I'm gonna close the Bible now. 1753 01:33:40,203 --> 01:33:42,204 Eddie, it's supposed to be like that. 1754 01:33:42,205 --> 01:33:43,539 It is? 1755 01:33:43,540 --> 01:33:45,374 It's gonna feel good. 1756 01:33:45,375 --> 01:33:46,500 (CHUCKLES) 1757 01:33:46,501 --> 01:33:48,711 I'm really glad I didn't have that piece of cake. 1758 01:33:48,712 --> 01:33:50,504 (BOTH LAUGHING) 1759 01:33:50,505 --> 01:33:52,923 Oh, okay. 1760 01:33:52,924 --> 01:33:54,550 Okay, ready? 1761 01:33:54,551 --> 01:33:56,427 This is gonna be good. You're gonna like this. 1762 01:33:56,428 --> 01:33:58,095 EDWARD: Okay, easy, now. 1763 01:33:58,096 --> 01:33:59,888 Sorry. This is... 1764 01:33:59,889 --> 01:34:01,432 Yeah. Wow. 1765 01:34:01,433 --> 01:34:02,766 Okay, is that... 1766 01:34:02,767 --> 01:34:04,059 - Right there? - RUTH: Yeah. 1767 01:34:04,060 --> 01:34:07,512 EDWARD: Sure, okay. Wow. 1768 01:34:07,897 --> 01:34:09,273 (MOANING) 1769 01:34:09,274 --> 01:34:12,067 Okay, I get it. It's pretty big, right? 1770 01:34:12,068 --> 01:34:13,569 RUTH: Yeah, you're huge! 1771 01:34:13,570 --> 01:34:14,903 EDWARD: No, I meant you. 1772 01:34:14,904 --> 01:34:16,530 (KNOCK ON DOOR) 1773 01:34:16,531 --> 01:34:18,732 (GRUNTS) 1774 01:34:22,746 --> 01:34:24,329 - Anna! - Ruth, can I come in? 1775 01:34:24,330 --> 01:34:26,949 Sure. 1776 01:34:33,089 --> 01:34:35,541 (WHISPERING) Clinch is out there. 1777 01:34:44,684 --> 01:34:46,685 He's coming up the stairs! 1778 01:34:46,686 --> 01:34:48,929 Shit! 1779 01:35:03,244 --> 01:35:06,738 Please don't shoot us on sex night. 1780 01:35:20,470 --> 01:35:22,671 (GASPS) 1781 01:35:24,599 --> 01:35:27,885 You and I have a problem. 1782 01:35:31,106 --> 01:35:34,141 (BREATHING DEEPLY) 1783 01:35:43,702 --> 01:35:45,903 (GASPS) 1784 01:35:51,292 --> 01:35:52,793 Oh, shit. 1785 01:35:52,794 --> 01:35:53,961 (IN NATIVE LANGUAGE) 1786 01:35:53,962 --> 01:35:56,839 Because your people are such huge assholes, 1787 01:35:56,840 --> 01:36:00,050 I am going to light you on fire. 1788 01:36:00,051 --> 01:36:02,252 (BREATHING HEAVILY) 1789 01:36:04,514 --> 01:36:06,715 Stop! 1790 01:36:10,603 --> 01:36:16,984 How is it that you, an asshole, have the power to speak our language? 1791 01:36:16,985 --> 01:36:20,195 I am a nerd asshole. 1792 01:36:20,196 --> 01:36:25,743 Since the other white assholes do not like me, I have always kept to myself. 1793 01:36:25,744 --> 01:36:31,623 Therefore, I have read many books, know many languages, and am good at math. 1794 01:36:31,624 --> 01:36:35,377 Why are you out here? 1795 01:36:35,378 --> 01:36:39,214 Please untie me, and I will tell you. 1796 01:36:39,215 --> 01:36:45,429 Well, he speaks our language, which means there's no reason not to trust him. 1797 01:36:45,430 --> 01:36:47,881 (SIGHS) 1798 01:36:50,143 --> 01:36:54,438 So I escaped on the train, and the next thing I remember is waking up in your camp. 1799 01:36:54,439 --> 01:36:58,100 And now I have no idea what to do. 1800 01:36:59,319 --> 01:37:03,188 I will show you the way. 1801 01:37:09,704 --> 01:37:11,372 What is it? 1802 01:37:11,373 --> 01:37:13,290 Your path. 1803 01:37:13,291 --> 01:37:14,500 (PEOPLE MURMURING) 1804 01:37:14,501 --> 01:37:16,335 I'll freak out, I know it. 1805 01:37:16,336 --> 01:37:19,046 You won't freak out, I swear. 1806 01:37:19,047 --> 01:37:21,423 I'm very sensitive to drugs. 1807 01:37:21,424 --> 01:37:23,258 You fuckin' nerd! 1808 01:37:23,259 --> 01:37:26,387 Nerd! Dork! Tool! 1809 01:37:26,388 --> 01:37:29,172 Fine! 1810 01:37:33,937 --> 01:37:36,605 (TALKING INDISTINCTLY) 1811 01:37:36,606 --> 01:37:38,941 He drank the whole bowl! 1812 01:37:38,942 --> 01:37:40,067 What? 1813 01:37:40,068 --> 01:37:42,277 You drank the whole bowl! 1814 01:37:42,278 --> 01:37:44,613 Oh shit! Oh shit! Is that bad? 1815 01:37:44,614 --> 01:37:48,534 That was for the entire tribe! 1816 01:37:48,535 --> 01:37:55,198 You're totally gonna freak out and probably die. 1817 01:37:55,208 --> 01:37:57,409 (SIGHS) 1818 01:38:04,342 --> 01:38:07,302 It's coming. I see it, I see it. 1819 01:38:07,303 --> 01:38:09,972 (BABY COOING) 1820 01:38:09,973 --> 01:38:11,974 It's a boy, Mr. Stark. 1821 01:38:11,975 --> 01:38:13,642 All right. 1822 01:38:13,643 --> 01:38:16,311 Well, don't you want to come hold the baby? 1823 01:38:16,312 --> 01:38:18,480 Fuck off. 1824 01:38:18,481 --> 01:38:20,274 Now, you put that under your pillow 1825 01:38:20,275 --> 01:38:24,770 and the tooth fairy will leave you a penny. 1826 01:38:26,990 --> 01:38:29,775 (BIRDS CHIRPING) 1827 01:38:30,618 --> 01:38:31,702 (GASPS) 1828 01:38:31,703 --> 01:38:33,495 There ain't no tooth fairy, idiot! 1829 01:38:33,496 --> 01:38:36,823 Now, clean up that horse shit! 1830 01:38:38,335 --> 01:38:41,337 Class, please welcome our graduation speaker, 1831 01:38:41,338 --> 01:38:44,581 President Abraham Lincoln. 1832 01:38:48,678 --> 01:38:50,721 Hiya, shmucks! 1833 01:38:50,722 --> 01:38:53,766 Four score and seven years ago, 1834 01:38:53,767 --> 01:38:55,851 I was broke, 1835 01:38:55,852 --> 01:38:57,686 just like you. 1836 01:38:57,687 --> 01:39:00,439 But now, I'm the president 1837 01:39:00,440 --> 01:39:03,734 and I'm so fucking rich. 1838 01:39:03,735 --> 01:39:07,863 I can have all the licorice I want. 1839 01:39:07,864 --> 01:39:11,233 I don't think that's the real President Lincoln. 1840 01:39:11,743 --> 01:39:12,951 ALBERT: Hey, Louise! 1841 01:39:12,952 --> 01:39:15,037 Louise, check out this cool bike I got! 1842 01:39:15,038 --> 01:39:16,246 Hey, you want to go down to the... 1843 01:39:16,247 --> 01:39:19,324 (SCREAMING) Oh, shit! 1844 01:39:19,417 --> 01:39:21,418 - (WOMEN SCREAMING) - No! Sorry! Sorry! 1845 01:39:21,419 --> 01:39:23,996 (SCREAMING CONTINUES) 1846 01:39:25,382 --> 01:39:27,833 No, no, no! 1847 01:39:29,761 --> 01:39:30,886 (CLAMORING) 1848 01:39:30,887 --> 01:39:31,929 Stop! 1849 01:39:31,930 --> 01:39:34,056 Get back here! 1850 01:39:34,057 --> 01:39:35,140 Shit, not again. 1851 01:39:35,141 --> 01:39:37,351 Get that son of a bitch! 1852 01:39:37,352 --> 01:39:39,761 (ALL SHOUTING) 1853 01:39:40,939 --> 01:39:43,390 (GROANING) 1854 01:39:50,907 --> 01:39:52,366 ANNA: You're an idiot. 1855 01:39:52,367 --> 01:39:55,869 How can you be so blind with eyes that big? 1856 01:39:55,870 --> 01:39:58,789 They're not that big. 1857 01:39:58,790 --> 01:40:00,624 (SCREAMING) 1858 01:40:00,625 --> 01:40:03,544 - FOY: Pardon me, Albert. - (PANTING) 1859 01:40:03,545 --> 01:40:07,423 The lads and I have prepared something special for you. 1860 01:40:07,424 --> 01:40:09,958 (FOLK MUSIC PLAYING) 1861 01:40:10,802 --> 01:40:13,303 You may not have the looks 1862 01:40:13,304 --> 01:40:14,888 You may not have the dash 1863 01:40:14,889 --> 01:40:16,807 But you'll win yourself a girl 1864 01:40:16,808 --> 01:40:18,559 If you've only got a moustache 1865 01:40:18,560 --> 01:40:20,811 A moustache A moustache 1866 01:40:20,812 --> 01:40:24,264 If you've only got a moustache 1867 01:40:33,992 --> 01:40:37,077 We are the guardians of the future. 1868 01:40:37,078 --> 01:40:39,863 Enter when ready. 1869 01:40:44,794 --> 01:40:47,371 - (HISSES) - (GASPS) 1870 01:41:13,531 --> 01:41:15,983 (LOUD THUD) 1871 01:41:16,159 --> 01:41:18,735 (SCREECHING) 1872 01:41:32,008 --> 01:41:34,376 Stark! 1873 01:41:34,469 --> 01:41:36,920 (SHRIEKING) 1874 01:41:37,097 --> 01:41:39,548 (GASPING) 1875 01:41:45,939 --> 01:41:47,022 (IN NATIVE LANGUAGE) 1876 01:41:47,023 --> 01:41:53,904 Did you shoot the black condor and kick it in the balls? 1877 01:41:53,905 --> 01:41:56,615 Yes. 1878 01:41:56,616 --> 01:41:59,368 How do you know that? 1879 01:41:59,369 --> 01:42:04,156 It means that true courage does indeed lie within you. 1880 01:42:05,000 --> 01:42:11,413 If you can trust its power... then you may yet find happiness. 1881 01:42:12,298 --> 01:42:14,625 (SIGHS) 1882 01:42:20,849 --> 01:42:24,977 Thank you for everything, Chief Cochise. I am in your debt. 1883 01:42:24,978 --> 01:42:28,063 There is an ancient proverb among my people: 1884 01:42:28,064 --> 01:42:31,775 Sometimes the only way for a man to find true happiness... 1885 01:42:31,776 --> 01:42:34,737 is to take drugs in a group. 1886 01:42:34,738 --> 01:42:40,275 Thank you for letting me take drugs with you. I know what I have to do now. 1887 01:42:57,594 --> 01:42:59,878 (ANNA GRUNTS) 1888 01:43:05,769 --> 01:43:06,852 (BARKS) 1889 01:43:06,853 --> 01:43:09,772 All right, sweetheart. 1890 01:43:09,773 --> 01:43:13,567 Let's find out if your wee boyfriend gives a shit about you. 1891 01:43:13,568 --> 01:43:16,070 He's got 1892 01:43:16,071 --> 01:43:18,572 six minutes till noon. 1893 01:43:18,573 --> 01:43:20,115 And if he doesn't show, 1894 01:43:20,116 --> 01:43:24,536 he'll be picking up pieces of you all over the street. 1895 01:43:24,537 --> 01:43:26,863 Stark! 1896 01:43:42,222 --> 01:43:45,757 Oh, look who's here. 1897 01:43:54,651 --> 01:43:56,852 (GROANS) 1898 01:44:03,118 --> 01:44:04,618 Let her go, Clinch. 1899 01:44:04,619 --> 01:44:08,872 Well, now, true love conquers all, doesn't it, sweetheart? 1900 01:44:08,873 --> 01:44:10,499 Let her go, 1901 01:44:10,500 --> 01:44:12,668 and let's you and me just settle this like adults. 1902 01:44:12,669 --> 01:44:15,037 (LAUGHING) 1903 01:44:15,255 --> 01:44:16,630 Lewis, Ben. 1904 01:44:16,631 --> 01:44:19,508 - Come and take this whore. - Albert. 1905 01:44:19,509 --> 01:44:22,261 Don't be stupid, Albert! Get out of here! 1906 01:44:22,262 --> 01:44:23,595 Get out of here! 1907 01:44:23,596 --> 01:44:24,972 Too late for that. 1908 01:44:24,973 --> 01:44:27,016 He's already been stupid. 1909 01:44:27,017 --> 01:44:28,767 Haven't you, Albert? 1910 01:44:28,768 --> 01:44:31,186 You've been with my wife. 1911 01:44:31,187 --> 01:44:33,564 Well, we haven't actually done it, 1912 01:44:33,565 --> 01:44:36,817 if that makes any kind of a difference. 1913 01:44:36,818 --> 01:44:39,153 Okay, look, look, look. Here's my idea, okay? 1914 01:44:39,154 --> 01:44:41,030 You're a pretty tough guy, yeah? 1915 01:44:41,031 --> 01:44:42,281 Why don't you prove it? 1916 01:44:42,282 --> 01:44:46,702 Gunfight. You and me. Right here. Right now. 1917 01:44:46,703 --> 01:44:48,454 (CHUCKLES) 1918 01:44:48,455 --> 01:44:51,373 You really do have a death wish, don't you? 1919 01:44:51,374 --> 01:44:54,668 Yeah, I guess you'll have to find that out, huh? 1920 01:44:54,669 --> 01:44:56,870 Uh-huh. 1921 01:45:00,884 --> 01:45:03,585 Take out your gun. 1922 01:45:06,431 --> 01:45:07,598 Point it at me. 1923 01:45:07,599 --> 01:45:09,800 (SOFTLY) No. 1924 01:45:12,520 --> 01:45:14,229 Good boy. 1925 01:45:14,230 --> 01:45:18,267 Now, we shoot on three. 1926 01:45:19,986 --> 01:45:21,945 One. 1927 01:45:21,946 --> 01:45:24,073 (GASPS) 1928 01:45:24,074 --> 01:45:26,367 (LAUGHING) 1929 01:45:26,368 --> 01:45:27,493 (GROANS) 1930 01:45:27,494 --> 01:45:28,702 (WHIMPERS) 1931 01:45:28,703 --> 01:45:30,746 I've been playing cards a long time 1932 01:45:30,747 --> 01:45:32,748 and I would never have bet on that, Stark. 1933 01:45:32,749 --> 01:45:35,158 Where'd you learn to shoot? 1934 01:45:35,168 --> 01:45:36,377 Your wife. 1935 01:45:36,378 --> 01:45:39,037 Oh, snap! 1936 01:45:39,047 --> 01:45:41,415 Holy fuck. 1937 01:45:41,716 --> 01:45:43,509 Okay, look, look, look! Before you kill me, 1938 01:45:43,510 --> 01:45:45,552 just grant me a few last words. All right? 1939 01:45:45,553 --> 01:45:47,763 Make it quick. 1940 01:45:47,764 --> 01:45:49,682 Let Anna live. 1941 01:45:49,683 --> 01:45:51,100 All right? 1942 01:45:51,101 --> 01:45:52,267 Let her live. 1943 01:45:52,268 --> 01:45:53,644 This is not her fault. 1944 01:45:53,645 --> 01:45:55,688 I kissed her, she didn't kiss me, all right? 1945 01:45:55,689 --> 01:45:57,815 It's not her fault. 1946 01:45:57,816 --> 01:45:59,608 I mean, she didn't tell me she was married, 1947 01:45:59,609 --> 01:46:01,402 so it's a little bit her fault, I guess. 1948 01:46:01,403 --> 01:46:02,945 So, yeah, I guess that's kind of true. 1949 01:46:02,946 --> 01:46:06,031 So, maybe just shoot her in the arm. 1950 01:46:06,032 --> 01:46:07,116 What the... 1951 01:46:07,117 --> 01:46:08,701 And one more thing. 1952 01:46:08,702 --> 01:46:10,828 Um, my grandparents were Arabic. 1953 01:46:10,829 --> 01:46:13,288 So, I'm required by Muslim tradition 1954 01:46:13,289 --> 01:46:16,250 to recite the Islamic death chant immediately before dying. 1955 01:46:16,251 --> 01:46:18,127 This will only take a moment. 1956 01:46:18,128 --> 01:46:20,829 (CHANTING) 1957 01:46:37,772 --> 01:46:39,973 (CREAKS) 1958 01:46:41,151 --> 01:46:42,484 Hey, what's the matter, Clinch? 1959 01:46:42,485 --> 01:46:44,153 You not feeling well? 1960 01:46:44,154 --> 01:46:45,821 You okay, boss? 1961 01:46:45,822 --> 01:46:47,656 What's happening to me? 1962 01:46:47,657 --> 01:46:51,493 You know, there are a million ways to die in the West, Clinch. 1963 01:46:51,494 --> 01:46:54,830 There's, uh, famine, disease, gunfights. 1964 01:46:54,831 --> 01:46:58,417 And, uh, wild animals. You know, like snakes. 1965 01:46:58,418 --> 01:46:59,918 And, you know, the funny thing is, 1966 01:46:59,919 --> 01:47:01,795 you don't even have to get bitten. 1967 01:47:01,796 --> 01:47:03,589 All you need is a little bit of the venom 1968 01:47:03,590 --> 01:47:05,341 introduced into your bloodstream 1969 01:47:05,342 --> 01:47:07,426 and you're pretty much screwed. 1970 01:47:07,427 --> 01:47:10,346 For example, if you drain a certain amount of venom 1971 01:47:10,347 --> 01:47:12,765 from the fangs of a diamondback rattler into a hollow-tip bullet, 1972 01:47:12,766 --> 01:47:14,683 you really only need one shot. 1973 01:47:14,684 --> 01:47:18,270 Now, I knew my aim wasn't good enough to hit you anywhere important. 1974 01:47:18,271 --> 01:47:20,356 But if I caught you by surprise... 1975 01:47:20,357 --> 01:47:23,359 Well, Anna taught me just enough to get me in the ballpark. 1976 01:47:23,360 --> 01:47:25,778 And just a small amount of venom in an open wound 1977 01:47:25,779 --> 01:47:27,321 is enough to kill a man if he's... 1978 01:47:27,322 --> 01:47:29,198 RUTH: Albert. 1979 01:47:29,199 --> 01:47:32,326 He's dead. You did it. 1980 01:47:32,327 --> 01:47:33,494 Oh. 1981 01:47:33,495 --> 01:47:34,995 Yeah. 1982 01:47:34,996 --> 01:47:37,414 Did he hear all that smart stuff I did? 1983 01:47:37,415 --> 01:47:38,540 Uh... 1984 01:47:38,541 --> 01:47:40,959 No. No, I don't think so. 1985 01:47:40,960 --> 01:47:42,086 Oh. 1986 01:47:42,087 --> 01:47:43,337 Well, it was still good, though. 1987 01:47:43,338 --> 01:47:44,463 Yeah, it was great. 1988 01:47:44,464 --> 01:47:46,256 I thought it was really good. 1989 01:47:46,257 --> 01:47:47,549 (GRUNTING) 1990 01:47:47,550 --> 01:47:48,676 (GROANS IN PAIN) 1991 01:47:48,677 --> 01:47:49,802 MAN: Stop! 1992 01:47:49,803 --> 01:47:52,504 Albert! 1993 01:48:02,315 --> 01:48:03,565 I'm really horny right now. 1994 01:48:03,566 --> 01:48:04,817 (GIGGLING) 1995 01:48:04,818 --> 01:48:08,020 Let's go in the shade and fuck. 1996 01:48:08,363 --> 01:48:09,571 (MURMURING) 1997 01:48:09,572 --> 01:48:11,156 Well done, sheep boy. 1998 01:48:11,157 --> 01:48:13,367 (SIGHS) Hey, sorry I killed your husband. 1999 01:48:13,368 --> 01:48:15,911 Oh, God. That was never gonna work out anyway. 2000 01:48:15,912 --> 01:48:17,579 He's Methodist, I'm half-Jewish. 2001 01:48:17,580 --> 01:48:20,082 - (LAUGHING) Are you? You are? - No! 2002 01:48:20,083 --> 01:48:21,333 Oh, thank God! 2003 01:48:21,334 --> 01:48:23,411 - You're not really Arabic, are you? - No, no, no. 2004 01:48:23,412 --> 01:48:25,387 Oh, thank God. Because I was like, "Ah, kill me!" 2005 01:48:25,388 --> 01:48:27,256 I know, right? "No! Oh, my God!" 2006 01:48:27,257 --> 01:48:30,459 - No, we're fine. We're okay. - LOUISE: Albert! 2007 01:48:30,593 --> 01:48:31,969 Hey, Louise. 2008 01:48:31,970 --> 01:48:35,764 Hey. Listen, if you want to... 2009 01:48:35,765 --> 01:48:39,810 If you want to talk about things, I would like that. 2010 01:48:39,811 --> 01:48:44,640 I mean, I could come by your place, like, later tonight. 2011 01:48:45,275 --> 01:48:46,942 You know, uh, Louise, I would, 2012 01:48:46,943 --> 01:48:51,647 but I really gotta go home and work on myself. 2013 01:48:55,618 --> 01:48:57,745 ANNA: So, you killed Clinch Leatherwood, 2014 01:48:57,746 --> 01:49:00,289 the deadliest gunman on the frontier. 2015 01:49:00,290 --> 01:49:02,333 Yeah, I guess I did, huh? 2016 01:49:02,334 --> 01:49:03,459 (BARKS) 2017 01:49:03,460 --> 01:49:06,128 ANNA: You know, there's probably gonna be some reward money. 2018 01:49:06,129 --> 01:49:08,964 ALBERT: You know, I didn't think about that. 2019 01:49:08,965 --> 01:49:12,084 ANNA: What are you gonna do? 2020 01:49:44,000 --> 01:49:46,210 Step right up, folks. Step right up! 2021 01:49:46,211 --> 01:49:49,713 Who wants to take a gander at the shooting gallery? 2022 01:49:49,714 --> 01:49:52,541 DJANGO: I'll take a shot. 2023 01:49:57,722 --> 01:50:00,015 (CROWD GASPS) 2024 01:50:00,016 --> 01:50:01,975 People die at the fair. 2025 01:50:01,976 --> 01:50:04,803 (COUNTRY MUSIC PLAYING) 2026 01:55:38,355 --> 01:55:43,164 DJANGO: What the fuck? Somebody bring me one of them white women.