1 00:00:22,624 --> 00:00:25,877 Uno, dos, one, two, tres, cuatro! 2 00:00:30,590 --> 00:00:33,176 Hey, wooly bully 3 00:00:34,218 --> 00:00:36,137 Watch it now, watch it 4 00:00:36,220 --> 00:00:38,264 Here it comes Here it comes 5 00:00:42,310 --> 00:00:44,270 Watch it now He gets you 6 00:00:51,486 --> 00:00:53,613 Matty told Hatty 7 00:00:54,572 --> 00:00:56,699 About a thing she saw 8 00:00:57,992 --> 00:01:00,119 It had two big horns 9 00:01:01,329 --> 00:01:03,122 And a wooly jaw 10 00:01:03,206 --> 00:01:05,458 Wooly bully 11 00:01:06,459 --> 00:01:08,670 Wooly bully That's right 12 00:01:09,921 --> 00:01:13,049 Wooly bully, Wooly bully 13 00:01:13,132 --> 00:01:14,967 Wooly bully 14 00:01:17,178 --> 00:01:19,889 Hatty told Matty 15 00:01:19,972 --> 00:01:22,392 Let's don't take no chance 16 00:01:23,935 --> 00:01:26,145 Let's not be L seven 17 00:01:26,979 --> 00:01:28,898 Come and learn to dance 18 00:01:28,981 --> 00:01:31,275 Wooly bully 19 00:01:32,151 --> 00:01:33,903 Wooly bully 20 00:01:35,613 --> 00:01:40,159 Wooly bully, wooly bully Wooly bully 21 00:01:40,243 --> 00:01:42,662 Watch it now Watch it, watch it 22 00:01:44,706 --> 00:01:46,416 HEY 23 00:01:48,960 --> 00:01:51,337 Hey, that's right 24 00:01:54,173 --> 00:01:55,383 Right, right, right 25 00:02:13,109 --> 00:02:17,488 Hey, wooly bully Watch it now 26 00:02:18,906 --> 00:02:20,616 Here it comes Here it comes 27 00:02:34,213 --> 00:02:36,632 Matty told Hatty 28 00:02:37,216 --> 00:02:39,177 About a thing she saw... 29 00:02:40,261 --> 00:02:42,513 - Freddie! -I dropped something. 30 00:02:42,805 --> 00:02:44,307 Ralph, talk to him. 31 00:02:45,391 --> 00:02:47,226 Listen to your father. 32 00:02:47,769 --> 00:02:49,687 Come on. From there we can see Cape Cod. 33 00:02:49,771 --> 00:02:50,813 We were just on Cape Cod. 34 00:02:51,355 --> 00:02:53,733 We could have stayed there. I would've saved $12. 35 00:02:54,150 --> 00:02:56,903 Allen, don't you want to see Cape Cod? 36 00:02:58,362 --> 00:03:01,908 All right, darling. You know where we are if you change your mind. 37 00:03:19,884 --> 00:03:20,927 Allen! 38 00:03:26,432 --> 00:03:28,100 Oh, my God! 39 00:03:55,628 --> 00:03:57,338 Thanks a lot. Thanks. 40 00:03:57,547 --> 00:04:01,592 You okay, Allen? Lend me a towel. A towel. Thanks. 41 00:04:01,717 --> 00:04:03,427 Why did you do that? 42 00:04:17,692 --> 00:04:18,860 Come on, son. 43 00:04:38,796 --> 00:04:42,300 Augie, pick up line four, please. 44 00:04:49,348 --> 00:04:50,391 Where are my cherries? 45 00:04:50,474 --> 00:04:52,018 Mr. McCullough, they came in, 46 00:04:52,101 --> 00:04:54,270 but there was a fog upstate and the highway... 47 00:04:54,353 --> 00:04:55,646 Where are my cherries? 48 00:04:55,855 --> 00:04:57,315 If I don't have my cherries in five minutes, 49 00:04:57,398 --> 00:04:59,942 you don't get your money and you starve and you die. 50 00:05:00,610 --> 00:05:02,028 Jerry? 51 00:05:04,238 --> 00:05:06,324 Jerry, where the hell are McCullough's cherries? 52 00:05:06,407 --> 00:05:09,076 They're here, but you gotta take a look at this stuff. 53 00:05:09,702 --> 00:05:12,747 Ah, Mr. McCullough, be right back. 54 00:05:13,497 --> 00:05:15,207 Where are my cherries? 55 00:05:17,209 --> 00:05:19,837 Augie, where the hell did you grow these things? Under your arms? 56 00:05:19,921 --> 00:05:22,381 Jesus, snails with stems. Forget it. Get them outta here! 57 00:05:22,465 --> 00:05:24,717 - George, get them out of here. -You got it. 58 00:05:26,510 --> 00:05:29,722 Bauer. Thank you. Honey, what's up? 59 00:05:29,805 --> 00:05:32,850 We get a lot of rain and the cherries get a little slime. 60 00:05:33,184 --> 00:05:35,937 - I can't hear you. -You agreed to take these off our hands. 61 00:05:36,020 --> 00:05:39,065 - When the hell did I agree to that? -Not you, your brother. 62 00:05:40,107 --> 00:05:41,692 Ah, all right. 63 00:05:41,776 --> 00:05:43,653 Victoria, I can't hear you. 64 00:05:43,778 --> 00:05:46,155 What I'm doing is important, too. I'll call you right back. 65 00:05:46,656 --> 00:05:48,449 My brother bought your slimy cherries? 66 00:05:48,574 --> 00:05:50,785 Yeah. Me and Freddie. We were playing poker. 67 00:05:50,868 --> 00:05:52,787 He had two pair. I had a flush. 68 00:05:52,870 --> 00:05:55,998 He had no cash, so we worked this out. 69 00:06:04,590 --> 00:06:06,801 Who put this goddamn fruit here? 70 00:06:08,010 --> 00:06:09,553 I'm all right, if anyone's concerned. 71 00:06:10,096 --> 00:06:11,097 Good morning, Freddie. 72 00:06:12,682 --> 00:06:13,933 Allen! Allen! 73 00:06:14,016 --> 00:06:16,060 - I want a simple "yes" or "no." -One more second, Mr. McCullough. 74 00:06:16,477 --> 00:06:20,398 I made it. I'm in Penthouse magazine. They printed my letter! 75 00:06:21,524 --> 00:06:23,234 - They printed my letter. -Listen, I'm very happy. 76 00:06:23,317 --> 00:06:25,027 I'm in the Forum section. 77 00:06:25,945 --> 00:06:27,947 The story's entitled A Lesbian No More. 78 00:06:28,114 --> 00:06:30,324 They printed every word I wrote. It's a beautiful story. 79 00:06:30,449 --> 00:06:31,867 Here. I want copies for everybody. 80 00:06:31,951 --> 00:06:34,745 Augie, good to see you! 81 00:06:35,037 --> 00:06:36,539 Great game. We gotta do that more. 82 00:06:36,622 --> 00:06:38,874 - Freddie, can we talk? -Great poker player. 83 00:06:39,125 --> 00:06:42,211 - Cheats like a son of a bitch! -Freddie, you and I have to talk. 84 00:06:42,294 --> 00:06:44,505 Missing petty cash? It was the cleaning girl. 85 00:06:44,588 --> 00:06:45,840 I don't care about that. 86 00:06:45,923 --> 00:06:47,008 - You don't? -No. 87 00:06:47,091 --> 00:06:48,342 Then it was me. I admit the whole thing. 88 00:06:48,467 --> 00:06:50,469 Well, I still don't care about it, Freddie. 89 00:06:50,553 --> 00:06:53,222 I love this guy! Do you hear me? I love him. 90 00:06:53,305 --> 00:06:54,807 - Gimme a kiss. -Oh, Freddie. 91 00:06:54,890 --> 00:06:55,891 Give your older brother a kiss. 92 00:06:55,975 --> 00:06:57,935 What's the matter? You're too big to... 93 00:07:01,939 --> 00:07:03,399 I love this guy's head. 94 00:07:03,482 --> 00:07:06,027 Curly, here's a buck. Wash my car. 95 00:07:06,986 --> 00:07:09,613 Bauer! Where are my... 96 00:07:09,697 --> 00:07:11,532 McCullough, your cherries, yes. 97 00:07:11,615 --> 00:07:12,658 Believe me when I tell you this. 98 00:07:12,742 --> 00:07:14,827 You're not gonna be satisfied with what we have for you. 99 00:07:14,994 --> 00:07:18,247 Okay, Bauer. You're ruined! Everyone's gonna know you left me dry. 100 00:07:18,330 --> 00:07:20,374 You're finished, you're a ghost in this business. 101 00:07:20,666 --> 00:07:23,586 - How'd you like bananas at cost? -Deal! 102 00:07:23,669 --> 00:07:26,422 Jerry, set up our friend, Mr. McCullough, bananas at cost. 103 00:07:26,505 --> 00:07:29,550 Allen, wait. I've got to get out early. 104 00:07:29,633 --> 00:07:32,053 Gee, right. Today's the big day. 105 00:07:32,136 --> 00:07:34,430 Don't forget. Ushers have to be early, too. 106 00:07:34,847 --> 00:07:36,682 -I'll be there. -Okay. 107 00:07:38,517 --> 00:07:42,396 Will someone get those Jonathans off the truck? 108 00:07:44,190 --> 00:07:46,192 Any messages, Mrs. Stimler? 109 00:07:46,859 --> 00:07:48,235 Yes. 110 00:07:52,823 --> 00:07:53,866 What are they? 111 00:07:54,784 --> 00:07:56,577 Huh? Oh... 112 00:07:58,120 --> 00:08:01,207 Your father called. He wants you to call him back. 113 00:08:02,166 --> 00:08:06,128 Mrs. Stimler, our father passed away five years ago. 114 00:08:06,295 --> 00:08:07,338 Remember? 115 00:08:07,963 --> 00:08:09,215 Right. 116 00:08:10,549 --> 00:08:12,093 Should I get him for you? 117 00:08:12,968 --> 00:08:15,805 No, no. We'll... I'll take care of it. 118 00:08:15,888 --> 00:08:17,765 You just get back to work. 119 00:08:26,065 --> 00:08:27,441 What's with her? 120 00:08:27,525 --> 00:08:29,068 A little accident over the weekend. 121 00:08:29,151 --> 00:08:31,153 Got hit in the head by some lightning. 122 00:08:33,072 --> 00:08:35,574 It's not funny, Freddie! It's not funny. 123 00:08:36,033 --> 00:08:38,577 I'm sorry. That's not funny. That's not funny. 124 00:08:38,828 --> 00:08:42,164 Besides, she can still do certain things around the office. 125 00:08:42,414 --> 00:08:44,083 Like jump-start a car? 126 00:08:46,710 --> 00:08:48,587 Jump-start a car! 127 00:08:48,671 --> 00:08:50,131 I'm sorry. I'm sorry. 128 00:08:50,548 --> 00:08:52,133 What the hell are you doing down here? 129 00:08:52,466 --> 00:08:55,010 Maybe I went to the "Club A" last night. 130 00:08:55,136 --> 00:08:56,428 Something new for you. 131 00:08:57,054 --> 00:08:59,849 Maybe I met Mr. Buyrite, owner of Buyrite Supermarkets. 132 00:09:00,933 --> 00:09:02,434 Maybe we had a few drinks. 133 00:09:03,644 --> 00:09:07,606 And maybe, just maybe, we're his new produce suppliers. 134 00:09:08,607 --> 00:09:11,861 I'm proud of you. That's great! Which store? 135 00:09:12,153 --> 00:09:15,114 Not which store, the whole chain. 136 00:09:16,782 --> 00:09:18,909 I hope you are joking with me right now. 137 00:09:18,993 --> 00:09:20,452 Think big, be big, my friend. 138 00:09:20,870 --> 00:09:21,954 He was a green beret colonel. 139 00:09:22,037 --> 00:09:23,789 I made up a story about you being wounded in Nam 140 00:09:23,873 --> 00:09:25,124 and he wants to do business. 141 00:09:25,332 --> 00:09:27,376 Now he's coming this morning to check out the operation. 142 00:09:27,459 --> 00:09:30,796 This morning? Great, Freddie. It's only chaos down here. 143 00:09:30,880 --> 00:09:32,715 Augie brings me slimy cherries from upstate. 144 00:09:32,798 --> 00:09:34,383 So what? So what? 145 00:09:34,466 --> 00:09:35,968 Jerry's getting married tomorrow. 146 00:09:36,051 --> 00:09:37,636 - So what? -Did you realize that? 147 00:09:37,720 --> 00:09:39,722 I was out drinking with this burn all night long. 148 00:09:39,805 --> 00:09:41,307 - I have to pick up my tuxedo. -l'm busting my buns. 149 00:09:41,390 --> 00:09:43,058 All the way up on East 77th Street. 150 00:09:43,142 --> 00:09:45,519 Come on, you can handle this deal. Come on, relax. 151 00:09:45,603 --> 00:09:46,854 Yeah, I'll handle it fine. 152 00:09:46,937 --> 00:09:49,773 Your desk looks like a pigsty. Do what I do... 153 00:09:49,857 --> 00:09:51,400 I have a system on the desk. 154 00:09:51,483 --> 00:09:52,902 --Phone for you. 155 00:09:52,985 --> 00:09:56,822 Yes? All right. Thank you. 156 00:09:56,906 --> 00:09:58,991 Hi, Victoria. I'm sorry. 157 00:09:59,200 --> 00:10:01,160 I meant to call you back. I forgot. 158 00:10:01,619 --> 00:10:03,412 What's the matter? Your voice sounds funny. 159 00:10:04,538 --> 00:10:06,290 What? Now? 160 00:10:08,000 --> 00:10:09,710 You're moving out of the apartment now? 161 00:10:09,793 --> 00:10:11,503 While we're talking on the phone. 162 00:10:13,255 --> 00:10:15,966 Yeah, I know we were going to talk about it. 163 00:10:16,759 --> 00:10:20,387 Victoria, this is a little impulsive, don't you think? 164 00:10:21,138 --> 00:10:23,182 If we were married, you wouldn't just move out like this. 165 00:10:23,557 --> 00:10:25,684 - She might do that. Sure. -Will you get off! 166 00:10:26,435 --> 00:10:27,853 - Was that you? -Get off the phone! 167 00:10:27,937 --> 00:10:30,439 -I'm so sorry! -No, no, no. Not you, Victoria. 168 00:10:30,522 --> 00:10:33,234 I didn't know you were on the phone. 169 00:10:35,277 --> 00:10:36,946 What do you mean, do I love you? 170 00:10:39,156 --> 00:10:40,866 Well, I... 171 00:10:42,368 --> 00:10:45,579 Well, we met and... 172 00:10:47,206 --> 00:10:49,208 You moved in, didn't you? 173 00:10:51,627 --> 00:10:55,756 Well, it's just a very complicated thing. 174 00:10:56,048 --> 00:10:58,384 Hey, do you love me? 175 00:10:58,884 --> 00:11:00,886 Well, there you go. 176 00:11:06,517 --> 00:11:07,977 There she went. 177 00:11:11,188 --> 00:11:13,065 What a huge wedding. 178 00:11:18,362 --> 00:11:20,239 Cindy, hi. 179 00:11:21,865 --> 00:11:24,076 - How are you? -How are you? 180 00:11:25,327 --> 00:11:26,954 Excuse me. 181 00:11:27,121 --> 00:11:28,622 You look so pretty! 182 00:11:31,917 --> 00:11:36,005 Darn! My flash never works! 183 00:11:36,338 --> 00:11:39,133 Figures. My mother-in-law gave it to me. 184 00:11:41,260 --> 00:11:42,428 Get up! 185 00:11:42,678 --> 00:11:44,930 What? What? 186 00:11:45,431 --> 00:11:47,516 It was embarrassing when you were 10, Freddie. 187 00:11:47,599 --> 00:11:50,227 Look, if something works for me, I stick with it! 188 00:11:50,602 --> 00:11:52,062 I've been doing a lot of thinking. 189 00:11:52,438 --> 00:11:54,690 I got to get more involved with business, and I intend to. 190 00:11:55,024 --> 00:11:58,360 I mean that this time. I'm going to. I know the business. 191 00:11:58,444 --> 00:12:00,404 I was there at the beginning with Dad, remember? 192 00:12:01,822 --> 00:12:05,367 I just wanna know if we sell fruit and vegetables, or is it just fruit? 193 00:12:06,660 --> 00:12:09,455 By the time I came home, she was already gone. 194 00:12:09,538 --> 00:12:10,956 - Victoria left, huh? -Yeah. 195 00:12:11,915 --> 00:12:13,667 You know why she left me, Freddie? 196 00:12:14,793 --> 00:12:15,961 Because I didn't love her. 197 00:12:16,045 --> 00:12:17,379 That bitch. 198 00:12:19,465 --> 00:12:22,217 Hi. Anywhere but the first three rows. 199 00:12:23,302 --> 00:12:25,429 - Anywhere but the first three rows. -Hey! 200 00:12:25,512 --> 00:12:28,349 Hi, Freddie. Hey, Allen, where's Victoria? 201 00:12:28,766 --> 00:12:31,310 She's sick, and she can't make it. 202 00:12:31,435 --> 00:12:33,228 That's too bad. I'm sorry. 203 00:12:36,523 --> 00:12:38,567 Why I didn't love her, Freddie? Can you answer me that? 204 00:12:38,650 --> 00:12:40,778 Why I didn't love her? I mean, she had everything. 205 00:12:40,861 --> 00:12:44,782 She was bright, she was sensitive, she was beautiful. 206 00:12:44,865 --> 00:12:47,201 - Hey, Allen! -Hi. 207 00:12:47,284 --> 00:12:48,369 Where's Victoria? 208 00:12:48,452 --> 00:12:50,621 Flu. Bad flu. She's very sick. 209 00:12:50,704 --> 00:12:52,456 And she can't make it because of the flu. 210 00:12:52,581 --> 00:12:54,833 - Give her my love. -You bet! Sure. 211 00:12:55,959 --> 00:12:58,212 I can't even give her my love, Freddie. 212 00:12:58,379 --> 00:13:02,049 I'm telling you. Something in here is networking. 213 00:13:02,132 --> 00:13:04,385 There are worse organs not to be working. Ha! 214 00:13:04,510 --> 00:13:08,055 Hi, guys. Bauer, where's that pretty lady of yours? 215 00:13:08,138 --> 00:13:09,765 She's not coming! Okay? 216 00:13:09,848 --> 00:13:11,558 What? Do you want your money back? 217 00:13:14,103 --> 00:13:17,731 Well, I don't know. Maybe it's all for the best. 218 00:13:18,023 --> 00:13:19,441 - Hey, Allen. -She left me! 219 00:13:19,525 --> 00:13:21,777 She moved out. My life's a shambles, okay? 220 00:13:21,860 --> 00:13:23,404 That's the news. You want the weather? 221 00:13:23,487 --> 00:13:25,406 Anywhere but the first three rows! 222 00:13:27,533 --> 00:13:30,202 You should really lighten up on the guy. That's the bride's brother. 223 00:13:32,287 --> 00:13:35,457 You see, drinking is really a matter of algebraic ratios. 224 00:13:36,917 --> 00:13:39,962 How drunk you get depends on how much alcohol you consume 225 00:13:40,045 --> 00:13:41,964 in relation to your total body weight. 226 00:13:42,047 --> 00:13:44,883 You see my point? It's not that you had a lot to drink, 227 00:13:45,008 --> 00:13:46,135 it's just that you're too skinny. 228 00:13:48,137 --> 00:13:50,389 - Marceau, more drinks here, please. -No. 229 00:13:50,472 --> 00:13:52,766 Freddie, I don't want to get drunk. 230 00:13:52,891 --> 00:13:54,476 But you are drunk. 231 00:13:54,560 --> 00:13:56,895 You see, a sober person would have reached for the pretzels. 232 00:13:58,272 --> 00:14:00,023 - Is he going to be there long? -I don't know. 233 00:14:00,107 --> 00:14:02,734 - Oh, I'm on the bar. -You're on the bar. 234 00:14:03,152 --> 00:14:04,862 Come on, off the bar. 235 00:14:05,821 --> 00:14:08,073 This stool is in your way. Let me move that for you. 236 00:14:08,699 --> 00:14:10,659 Oh, oh, you fell. 237 00:14:12,411 --> 00:14:15,038 That hurt. You're not having a good day, are you? 238 00:14:15,122 --> 00:14:17,207 Wasn't that a beautiful wedding ceremony? 239 00:14:17,291 --> 00:14:18,333 That was a beautiful ceremony. 240 00:14:18,417 --> 00:14:21,420 It was. It really was. 241 00:14:21,503 --> 00:14:23,881 - The most gorgeous ceremony... -A lovely... 242 00:14:28,886 --> 00:14:30,345 - How are you doing? -Fine. 243 00:14:30,429 --> 00:14:31,763 The fabulous Freddie Bauer here. 244 00:14:32,556 --> 00:14:33,849 Where did you get those? 245 00:14:33,932 --> 00:14:35,851 My grandmother. She left them to me. 246 00:14:35,934 --> 00:14:38,312 She did? They're beautiful. 247 00:14:38,395 --> 00:14:39,771 Thank you. 248 00:14:40,939 --> 00:14:42,191 Hi. 249 00:14:42,774 --> 00:14:43,775 - Hi. -Hi. 250 00:14:43,859 --> 00:14:45,944 You guys are in love, aren't you? 251 00:14:46,612 --> 00:14:47,863 We just met. 252 00:14:48,697 --> 00:14:52,034 That doesn't matter. I know about these things. 253 00:14:52,159 --> 00:14:54,119 I can see. I can tell. 254 00:14:54,411 --> 00:14:58,999 You two guys, you're in love. And I think that's beautiful. 255 00:14:59,958 --> 00:15:01,293 Thanks. 256 00:15:05,214 --> 00:15:06,882 Listen. I don't live too far from here. 257 00:15:06,965 --> 00:15:10,052 Why don't we just go to my place for a quiet drink? 258 00:15:11,470 --> 00:15:13,972 Do I expect too much out of life? 259 00:15:14,556 --> 00:15:17,184 My dress! I can't believe this. 260 00:15:17,643 --> 00:15:19,853 - I'm sorry. -Hey, what are you doing? 261 00:15:20,896 --> 00:15:23,398 Both of you. You're both crazy! 262 00:15:23,649 --> 00:15:24,983 I'm sorry. Look... 263 00:15:26,068 --> 00:15:27,819 I don't ask that much, do I? 264 00:15:27,986 --> 00:15:30,072 I don't ask to be famous, I don't ask to be rich, 265 00:15:30,155 --> 00:15:33,867 I don't ask to play center field for the New York Yankees or anything. 266 00:15:34,117 --> 00:15:36,203 I just want to meet a woman. I wanna meet a woman. 267 00:15:36,328 --> 00:15:39,081 And I wanna fall in love, and I wanna get married. 268 00:15:39,164 --> 00:15:40,165 And I want to have a kid, 269 00:15:40,249 --> 00:15:43,168 and I want to go see him play a tooth in the school play. 270 00:15:45,003 --> 00:15:46,421 It's not much. 271 00:15:47,089 --> 00:15:49,341 But I'm kidding myself. 272 00:15:49,424 --> 00:15:50,842 It's never going to happen. 273 00:15:52,219 --> 00:15:54,471 I'm going to grow old, 274 00:15:54,721 --> 00:15:57,182 and grow lonely, and I'm gonna die, 275 00:15:58,225 --> 00:16:00,519 and I'll be surrounded by a bunch of rotten fruit. 276 00:16:03,772 --> 00:16:05,357 - Freddie? -No kidding! 277 00:16:07,317 --> 00:16:08,318 Freddie? 278 00:16:09,861 --> 00:16:12,781 Allen! I want you to meet some friends of mine. 279 00:16:12,864 --> 00:16:14,783 This is Tawny, and this is Jill. 280 00:16:14,866 --> 00:16:17,327 -I'm Tawny. -You're Tawny, Tawny Tiger! 281 00:16:17,452 --> 00:16:19,288 And this is Jill, a four-letter word. 282 00:16:19,371 --> 00:16:21,456 - This is my brother, Allen. -Hi. 283 00:16:21,957 --> 00:16:24,459 - Freddie, can I talk to you? -Absolutely. 284 00:16:24,543 --> 00:16:26,169 - Excuse me. -Sure. 285 00:16:26,545 --> 00:16:28,422 I'll be right back. We'll whisper some more. 286 00:16:28,505 --> 00:16:30,340 I've got some whispering for you! 287 00:16:31,383 --> 00:16:33,552 Oh, God. Oh, God. Oh, God. 288 00:16:34,052 --> 00:16:36,305 Pack your bags. Tonight, my man, we're going to Rio! 289 00:16:36,597 --> 00:16:38,640 These girls have got a time-sharing condominium. 290 00:16:38,724 --> 00:16:40,100 We're gonna share some time with them. 291 00:16:40,225 --> 00:16:43,645 No, Freddie, I'm going to Cape Cod. 292 00:16:43,937 --> 00:16:46,148 What are you talking about? Cape Cod? 293 00:16:46,231 --> 00:16:47,858 Why would you go to Cape Cod? 294 00:16:47,941 --> 00:16:50,569 I don't know. Because I like Cape Cod, Freddie. 295 00:16:50,736 --> 00:16:51,945 I feel better up there. 296 00:16:52,070 --> 00:16:55,157 I look at the water and I feel closer to something. 297 00:16:55,240 --> 00:16:58,827 - Cape Cod over Rio? Are you all right? -Yeah. 298 00:16:58,910 --> 00:17:01,747 - Let me drive you up there. -No, no. 299 00:17:02,456 --> 00:17:04,041 - You got enough money? -I've got plenty. 300 00:17:04,124 --> 00:17:06,084 - Yeah? -Thanks. 301 00:17:07,419 --> 00:17:08,754 Can I have some then? 302 00:17:19,014 --> 00:17:21,725 - Where to? -Cape Cod, Massachusetts. 303 00:17:24,519 --> 00:17:26,438 You break that, you pay for it. 304 00:17:27,105 --> 00:17:31,860 Well, I'm sorry. I usually enjoy smashing the glass with my face. 305 00:17:32,277 --> 00:17:35,906 Okay. Cape Cod. That's about 300 miles. You got the cash? 306 00:17:36,448 --> 00:17:37,908 What is this? 307 00:17:59,721 --> 00:18:01,223 Careful With that. 308 00:18:02,182 --> 00:18:03,642 Be careful with that! 309 00:18:03,725 --> 00:18:07,396 What do you think you're loading? This is delicate scientific equipment. 310 00:18:10,482 --> 00:18:14,569 Hold it. Put it down. You see that? It says, "This end up." 311 00:18:14,653 --> 00:18:17,197 Know what that means? This end up! 312 00:18:17,280 --> 00:18:19,449 Why don't you try holding that end up? 313 00:18:22,202 --> 00:18:23,286 All right, get away! 314 00:18:23,370 --> 00:18:26,164 I'll do it myself. Get away. Give me a hand. 315 00:18:31,670 --> 00:18:32,921 Easy. 316 00:18:34,589 --> 00:18:36,174 - Move that... -Excuse me. 317 00:18:38,218 --> 00:18:40,679 - Morning. -Morning. 318 00:18:41,513 --> 00:18:46,143 Ah, I was dropped off on the wrong side of the beach. 319 00:18:46,518 --> 00:18:48,729 Could you take me over to the island? 320 00:18:50,188 --> 00:18:52,190 Well, ah, we're not... 321 00:18:52,399 --> 00:18:54,192 We're not going... 322 00:18:54,276 --> 00:18:57,446 We're taking the boat. We're not going out there! 323 00:18:58,947 --> 00:19:00,866 Have you seen anyone else along this beach? 324 00:19:00,949 --> 00:19:03,744 No, just me and the moron twins. 325 00:19:04,411 --> 00:19:05,829 We're not twins. 326 00:19:09,458 --> 00:19:11,334 - What is all this stuff? -I knew it! 327 00:19:12,419 --> 00:19:15,464 Who sent you up here? Dr. Ross from Chicago? 328 00:19:15,964 --> 00:19:17,924 Who's Dr. Ross from Chicago? 329 00:19:18,091 --> 00:19:21,344 Who's Dr. Ross? You're very good. 330 00:19:21,470 --> 00:19:23,722 I suppose you're some harmless beachcomber 331 00:19:23,805 --> 00:19:25,974 who happens to wear a tuxedo! 332 00:19:26,516 --> 00:19:29,186 How dare you try and horn in on someone else's research! 333 00:19:29,644 --> 00:19:30,771 I'm just a guy..- 334 00:19:30,854 --> 00:19:33,607 Walter Kornbluth is not to be taken advantage of. 335 00:19:34,733 --> 00:19:37,110 Just stay out of my way, sonny. 336 00:19:39,905 --> 00:19:41,865 All right, let's move out! 337 00:19:48,163 --> 00:19:51,333 A guy down the beach runs people out to the island. 338 00:19:51,708 --> 00:19:52,959 What's the name? 339 00:19:54,252 --> 00:19:55,796 The guy or the island? 340 00:19:57,923 --> 00:19:59,424 I'll find him. 341 00:20:02,344 --> 00:20:05,263 What's the matter? You look nervous. 342 00:20:05,639 --> 00:20:10,393 Yeah. The truth is, Fat Jack, I don't know how to swim. 343 00:20:11,228 --> 00:20:13,230 - You can't swim? -No, sir. 344 00:20:13,647 --> 00:20:16,274 Then you wouldn't want me to do this. 345 00:20:16,942 --> 00:20:18,902 Stop! Ah, don't! 346 00:20:18,985 --> 00:20:22,823 Please, cut it out! There's water coming in the boat! 347 00:20:22,948 --> 00:20:25,200 I'm just having a little fun. 348 00:20:25,283 --> 00:20:26,743 Well, don't. 349 00:20:29,496 --> 00:20:31,623 What is that? What's the matter? 350 00:20:32,290 --> 00:20:35,126 When I rocked the boat, I must have got water in the engine. 351 00:20:35,293 --> 00:20:38,129 I can fix it. I'm mechanical. 352 00:20:44,970 --> 00:20:46,555 Did you fix it? 353 00:20:46,763 --> 00:20:49,808 No. I'll go back for the other boat. 354 00:20:49,891 --> 00:20:50,976 What? 355 00:20:54,187 --> 00:20:56,606 Where are you going, Mr. Fat Jack? 356 00:20:57,649 --> 00:20:59,776 Back to the dock. It's only a few miles. 357 00:20:59,901 --> 00:21:03,029 I can swim it. I'll be back with the little boat. 358 00:21:04,406 --> 00:21:06,116 The little boat? 359 00:21:17,919 --> 00:21:21,882 I knew it. I knew that guy was spying on me. 360 00:21:22,674 --> 00:21:24,259 I want to go down! 361 00:21:27,679 --> 00:21:29,180 Mr. Corn beef? 362 00:21:30,181 --> 00:21:31,558 Kornbluth! 363 00:21:32,559 --> 00:21:34,477 Whatcha looking for down there? 364 00:21:34,686 --> 00:21:36,187 Buried treasure? 365 00:21:37,022 --> 00:21:38,857 Want to know what I'm looking for? 366 00:21:39,107 --> 00:21:40,358 I'll tell you. 367 00:21:42,152 --> 00:21:45,071 None of your goddamn business, that's what! 368 00:21:45,155 --> 00:21:46,573 Get out of my way! 369 00:21:53,038 --> 00:21:55,123 Let's pee down his air hose. 370 00:21:56,917 --> 00:21:58,043 You get that. 371 00:22:15,727 --> 00:22:17,562 Piece of shit. 372 00:22:31,034 --> 00:22:32,869 Ahh! 373 00:22:45,048 --> 00:22:46,424 Ah, gee. 374 00:23:17,497 --> 00:23:19,207 Ohhh! 375 00:23:22,377 --> 00:23:23,962 Ohh. 376 00:23:31,344 --> 00:23:32,971 Ouch! 377 00:23:34,014 --> 00:23:35,557 Ouch. 378 00:23:57,370 --> 00:23:58,496 Hello. 379 00:23:59,164 --> 00:24:02,250 You have any idea how I got here? 380 00:24:02,584 --> 00:24:04,169 Did you save me? 381 00:24:10,508 --> 00:24:13,344 Ah, do you speak English? 382 00:24:53,051 --> 00:24:54,761 Hey! Come back! 383 00:24:54,969 --> 00:24:56,971 Hey, come back! Please. 384 00:24:57,138 --> 00:24:59,516 Just tell me who you are. 385 00:24:59,849 --> 00:25:03,269 I've gotta talk to you. Can I call you? What's your number? 386 00:25:03,394 --> 00:25:05,063 I don't know how to swim. 387 00:25:06,147 --> 00:25:09,025 I don't know how to swim! Come back. 388 00:25:10,110 --> 00:25:12,904 Why didn't I learn how to swim? Please, just... 389 00:26:16,634 --> 00:26:19,137 It's a mermaid. It's her! 390 00:26:19,387 --> 00:26:24,058 Wait a minute. Wait a minute! Don't go. 391 00:26:25,518 --> 00:26:26,895 Come back. 392 00:26:27,020 --> 00:26:29,147 I gotta take your picture. 393 00:26:31,441 --> 00:26:32,859 Hold it. 394 00:28:17,005 --> 00:28:18,089 Hi, Mrs. Stimler. 395 00:28:18,756 --> 00:28:21,384 Hi. What happened to your head? 396 00:28:21,467 --> 00:28:24,178 - Lightning? -No, a boat hit me. 397 00:28:26,681 --> 00:28:28,433 - Mrs. Stimler? -Yes? 398 00:28:29,517 --> 00:28:32,312 - Nothing. -So nice to have you back. 399 00:28:35,273 --> 00:28:37,358 Welcome to the Statue of Liberty. 400 00:28:37,442 --> 00:28:39,736 The statue is a gift from French citizens. 401 00:28:39,819 --> 00:28:43,156 It has come to symbolize hope for oppressed people. 402 00:28:43,781 --> 00:28:47,660 Over the past century, she has seen the skyline, 403 00:28:47,744 --> 00:28:52,040 which once she dwarfed, rise in mountains of stone and steel. 404 00:28:52,540 --> 00:28:56,127 If you'll go inside, the tour will continue. 405 00:28:56,336 --> 00:28:59,964 Come on. Here we go. Let's go. We're backing up. 406 00:29:02,675 --> 00:29:03,885 You've got feet, use them! 407 00:29:03,968 --> 00:29:08,806 Don't touch my hat. Do not ever touch my hat. That's it. 408 00:29:09,015 --> 00:29:11,476 UP, UP, up, up, up, up. Okay. 409 00:29:12,226 --> 00:29:13,978 Welcome to the Statue of Liberty. 410 00:29:14,437 --> 00:29:16,689 The statue is a gift from French citizens. 411 00:29:16,773 --> 00:29:20,109 It has come to symbolize hope for naked women everywhere. 412 00:29:20,818 --> 00:29:22,445 Bocci balls! 413 00:29:22,528 --> 00:29:24,822 --Hey, hey. 414 00:29:25,490 --> 00:29:27,241 Come on. Don't be doing that. 415 00:29:27,992 --> 00:29:32,163 Take a picture of me, Vinnie. Vinnie, take my picture. 416 00:29:32,246 --> 00:29:34,540 You get it? You get it! 417 00:29:36,918 --> 00:29:41,005 The statue was a gift from French people. 418 00:29:41,214 --> 00:29:43,132 Get out of the way. What's going on? 419 00:29:43,674 --> 00:29:48,554 Okay, miss. This ain't California. We don't go for this. 420 00:30:06,739 --> 00:30:07,782 What's your name? 421 00:30:07,865 --> 00:30:09,409 She don't speak no English. 422 00:30:09,492 --> 00:30:10,451 And you do? 423 00:30:10,535 --> 00:30:12,578 Here. She was carrying this. 424 00:30:12,787 --> 00:30:13,830 What's this? 425 00:30:17,208 --> 00:30:18,459 Who's this guy? 426 00:30:21,504 --> 00:30:23,297 Is that enough? Do you want some more? 427 00:30:23,714 --> 00:30:26,592 That's all we can handle. Let's talk terms. 428 00:30:26,717 --> 00:30:28,511 He doesn't have the slightest clue what's going on. 429 00:30:28,594 --> 00:30:31,222 Don't worry. We'll move it out in the morning. 430 00:30:31,347 --> 00:30:35,393 Bauer. Your brother told me about your unfortunate experience in Vietnam. 431 00:30:37,270 --> 00:30:38,438 Huh? 432 00:30:39,105 --> 00:30:41,649 The incident in Vietnam. Remember? 433 00:30:43,776 --> 00:30:47,238 The grenade still bother you? You're wearing a bandage. 434 00:30:47,780 --> 00:30:49,699 Page him. Hey, Al? 435 00:30:49,991 --> 00:30:51,075 - Yeah? -Phone. 436 00:30:51,826 --> 00:30:53,911 Um, excuse me. 437 00:30:55,913 --> 00:30:57,623 Thanks, Jerry. Yeah? 438 00:30:57,957 --> 00:31:00,293 Allen Bauer. Speaking. 439 00:31:07,091 --> 00:31:08,301 Yeah. On my way! 440 00:31:08,468 --> 00:31:09,927 I believe this... 441 00:31:12,096 --> 00:31:14,640 Allen, where are you going? 442 00:31:15,266 --> 00:31:16,267 Allen! 443 00:31:18,603 --> 00:31:20,605 - What happened? -Telephone. 444 00:31:20,980 --> 00:31:23,649 He was on the phone in Nam when the grenade went off. 445 00:31:23,941 --> 00:31:29,030 Ever since then, he runs, gets in a car, and drives away. 446 00:31:29,572 --> 00:31:33,117 - Oh. -I don't know why. It just happens. 447 00:31:33,326 --> 00:31:35,953 - Oh. -Let's review this. 448 00:31:58,518 --> 00:32:00,186 Pardon me. Excuse me! 449 00:32:00,311 --> 00:32:02,897 --Mr. Police Officer? 450 00:32:02,980 --> 00:32:04,982 Hey! Take it easy. 451 00:32:05,107 --> 00:32:06,400 What do you want? 452 00:32:07,235 --> 00:32:09,362 My name's Allen Bauer. You guys called me. 453 00:32:10,571 --> 00:32:12,907 Any of you guys call for an Allen Bauer? 454 00:32:13,366 --> 00:32:16,327 Bauer. Yeah. That's for her. 455 00:32:17,495 --> 00:32:18,746 Right over there. 456 00:32:41,352 --> 00:32:42,562 Hi. 457 00:32:51,070 --> 00:32:52,613 I take it you know this girl? 458 00:32:54,490 --> 00:32:55,616 Yeah, I do. 459 00:32:56,993 --> 00:32:58,119 Who is she? 460 00:33:00,454 --> 00:33:01,706 I don't know. 461 00:33:02,081 --> 00:33:03,207 Of course. 462 00:33:16,721 --> 00:33:19,390 Afternoon. You're home early. 463 00:33:19,765 --> 00:33:20,933 Yeah. 464 00:33:28,232 --> 00:33:32,528 Uh, that doorway spins. 465 00:33:32,612 --> 00:33:34,155 Want to get this fixed, Timmy? 466 00:33:41,245 --> 00:33:42,622 - Hi. -Hello. 467 00:34:31,796 --> 00:34:34,757 Zip-a-dee-doo-dah Zip-a-dee-ay 468 00:34:34,840 --> 00:34:38,135 Mr. Bluebird's on my shoulder 469 00:34:38,219 --> 00:34:41,806 it's the truth, it's actual Everything is satisfactual 470 00:34:42,139 --> 00:34:44,767 Zip-a-dee-doo-dah Zip-a-dee-ay 471 00:34:44,975 --> 00:34:46,894 My, oh, my What a wonderful day 472 00:34:47,311 --> 00:34:49,980 Room service. I didn't know what you liked, 473 00:34:50,106 --> 00:34:53,484 so I got you a choice. Fruity Pebbles, pancakes... 474 00:34:53,734 --> 00:34:55,903 No. No. No, no, no, no, no, no, no. 475 00:34:56,195 --> 00:34:59,949 I've got to get back to work. That will keep you company. 476 00:35:00,449 --> 00:35:03,953 When I come back from work, we'll get some dinner, 477 00:35:04,120 --> 00:35:05,996 and pick you up some clothes. 478 00:35:06,497 --> 00:35:09,250 Not that you don't look spectacular in my robe. 479 00:35:10,501 --> 00:35:12,253 Okay? Bye-bye. 480 00:35:15,423 --> 00:35:17,425 No. Please. 481 00:35:17,508 --> 00:35:19,051 You're gonna put me in the hospital. 482 00:35:19,552 --> 00:35:22,471 It's about 3:00. I really have to get back. 483 00:35:23,514 --> 00:35:25,224 You are wonderful. 484 00:35:25,683 --> 00:35:27,810 BYE-bye. Bye. 485 00:35:33,357 --> 00:35:36,694 Things don't get started again until 4:00. 486 00:35:42,575 --> 00:35:44,910 Let's not be so choosy with these onions. 487 00:35:45,369 --> 00:35:47,621 Some of these are perfectly good onions. 488 00:35:48,706 --> 00:35:50,833 Everybody, zip-a-dee-doo-dah! 489 00:35:51,417 --> 00:35:54,420 Zip-a-dee-doo-dah Zip-a-dee-a y 490 00:35:54,837 --> 00:35:58,007 My, oh, my What a wonderful day 491 00:35:58,591 --> 00:36:01,135 Plenty of sunshine heading my way 492 00:36:01,552 --> 00:36:04,388 Zip-a-dee-doo-dah Zip-a-dee-ay 493 00:36:04,555 --> 00:36:07,641 Mr. Mango on my shoulder 494 00:36:07,725 --> 00:36:09,185 Freddie, dance with me! 495 00:36:09,477 --> 00:36:11,103 Please, not in front of the teamsters. 496 00:36:11,187 --> 00:36:12,688 Come on, they're happy guys. 497 00:36:12,772 --> 00:36:14,231 You're a rotten lead. 498 00:36:14,732 --> 00:36:16,901 I've got the Buyrite contracts ready. 499 00:36:17,359 --> 00:36:18,986 - Want to check them? -No. 500 00:36:19,069 --> 00:36:20,988 You check them. You know the business. 501 00:36:21,197 --> 00:36:22,907 - So I'm in charge? -Sure. 502 00:36:23,199 --> 00:36:24,950 What about the lawyer's meeting at 8:00? 503 00:36:25,159 --> 00:36:28,412 8:00 p.m.? That's too late for me. 504 00:36:29,121 --> 00:36:31,832 I'm going upstairs and take a nap. 505 00:36:32,291 --> 00:36:34,126 Wake me when it's time to go home. 506 00:36:34,835 --> 00:36:35,836 Zip-a-dee... 507 00:36:35,920 --> 00:36:37,630 Jerry, handle those for me! 508 00:36:40,382 --> 00:36:41,759 Anne Klein. 509 00:36:42,510 --> 00:36:44,011 Bloomingdale's. 510 00:36:47,932 --> 00:36:49,475 Anne Klein. 511 00:36:50,851 --> 00:36:52,186 Bloomingdale's. 512 00:36:56,941 --> 00:37:00,528 The Anne Klein Collection, available at Bloomingdale's. 513 00:37:13,791 --> 00:37:15,167 Can I help you? 514 00:37:17,378 --> 00:37:18,587 Can't you talk? 515 00:37:21,173 --> 00:37:24,260 - Bloomingdale's? -Sure. Hey! 516 00:38:21,817 --> 00:38:23,485 Oh, my God. 517 00:38:24,361 --> 00:38:26,864 Darling. Darling. 518 00:38:27,031 --> 00:38:30,951 Darling! That outfit, it's to die from. 519 00:38:31,035 --> 00:38:33,704 What happened? You saw Annie Hall 100 times? 520 00:38:33,871 --> 00:38:35,706 That look is over. 521 00:38:36,957 --> 00:38:38,542 You want to try that on? 522 00:38:38,626 --> 00:38:40,210 Who knows? Maybe it's you. 523 00:38:40,669 --> 00:38:42,838 I couldn't get one leg in there. 524 00:38:43,339 --> 00:38:47,176 My daughter is lucky. She's anorexic. 525 00:38:50,888 --> 00:38:53,974 Please call again. Don't forget these. 526 00:38:55,726 --> 00:38:58,896 Do yourself a favor and stop in the lingerie department. 527 00:38:59,605 --> 00:39:02,900 A pretty girl like you shouldn't wear boxer shorts. 528 00:39:10,032 --> 00:39:11,909 Let me try! 529 00:39:12,326 --> 00:39:14,578 Colgate Winterfresh Gel... 530 00:39:15,496 --> 00:39:18,540 And now, we continue with Capitol. 531 00:39:19,583 --> 00:39:23,587 Wear the adjustable-angle mascara by Revlon. 532 00:39:26,131 --> 00:39:28,884 Maximum fluoride protection in a great-tasting gel. 533 00:39:29,593 --> 00:39:32,012 It's Crazy Eddie's greatest clearance sale ever! 534 00:39:32,221 --> 00:39:35,766 Crazy Eddie's slashing prices... 535 00:39:35,849 --> 00:39:38,936 Stereo equipment, video equipment, color TV's, car stereos, CB's, phones, 536 00:39:39,269 --> 00:39:40,938 disco equipment and professional products, 537 00:39:41,021 --> 00:39:44,358 plus a selection of floor samples and demonstrators... 538 00:39:45,317 --> 00:39:46,527 Priced at or below cost. 539 00:39:46,610 --> 00:39:48,612 It's Crazy Eddie's greatest sale ever, 540 00:39:48,696 --> 00:39:51,865 going on right now with prices that are insane! 541 00:39:51,949 --> 00:39:53,575 Crazy Eddie, 12 great locations. 542 00:39:53,659 --> 00:39:55,869 Manhattan, the Bronx, Brooklyn, Syosset, Paramus, 543 00:39:55,953 --> 00:39:58,956 East Brunswick, Union, Westchester, Westbury and Norvvalk. 544 00:40:03,085 --> 00:40:05,129 Zip-a-dee-doo-dah 545 00:40:05,796 --> 00:40:06,797 Hello? 546 00:40:09,008 --> 00:40:10,467 I'm home! 547 00:40:28,193 --> 00:40:30,362 -I'm looking for a girl, Timmy. -200 bucks. 548 00:40:30,487 --> 00:40:33,073 No, the blonde I came in with. 549 00:40:33,365 --> 00:40:35,909 - Oh, she left. -Any idea where? 550 00:40:36,035 --> 00:40:39,163 - I put her in a cab. -To where, Timmy? 551 00:40:39,371 --> 00:40:41,623 - Bloomingdale's. -Bloomingdale's. Great. Thanks. 552 00:40:41,749 --> 00:40:44,626 Yo! Hey, taxi! Hey! 553 00:40:45,377 --> 00:40:46,837 Halt, taxi, please! 554 00:40:47,254 --> 00:40:49,256 She works hard for the money 555 00:40:49,339 --> 00:40:52,509 Come on, come on. Let's go! 556 00:40:52,801 --> 00:40:56,513 She works hard for the money so you better treat her right 557 00:40:57,514 --> 00:41:00,100 Excuse me, miss, we're getting ready to close. 558 00:41:00,184 --> 00:41:02,519 She's been here for six hours. 559 00:41:06,023 --> 00:41:07,066 Excuse me, miss. 560 00:41:07,149 --> 00:41:12,571 I'm going to insist that you stop doing that. 561 00:41:16,200 --> 00:41:18,869 She's exercising. 562 00:41:20,788 --> 00:41:23,040 Give her a minute. 563 00:41:24,875 --> 00:41:26,668 Sir, we're closing. 564 00:41:26,752 --> 00:41:27,836 I know. Just give me three minutes. 565 00:41:27,920 --> 00:41:30,714 - Come back. -Three minutes. You can time me! 566 00:41:33,550 --> 00:41:35,469 Oh, thank God. 567 00:41:36,095 --> 00:41:38,222 Excuse me. Do you know this woman? 568 00:41:38,388 --> 00:41:41,141 Yeah. Just don't ask me her name. 569 00:41:41,683 --> 00:41:43,685 We've been trying to tell her it's closing time, 570 00:41:43,769 --> 00:41:45,896 but she doesn't seem to understand. 571 00:41:46,563 --> 00:41:48,774 That's because she doesn't speak English. 572 00:41:48,899 --> 00:41:51,819 Hello, Allen. How was your day? 573 00:41:53,904 --> 00:41:58,242 I never went to college, but wasn't that English? 574 00:41:58,659 --> 00:42:00,828 Thank you for letting me use your television. 575 00:42:00,911 --> 00:42:03,455 It was very educational. 576 00:42:04,915 --> 00:42:06,333 It's all right, miss. 577 00:42:09,753 --> 00:42:11,421 What's your name? 578 00:42:11,755 --> 00:42:14,133 It's hard to say in English. 579 00:42:14,466 --> 00:42:16,885 Well, just say it in your language. 580 00:42:17,761 --> 00:42:20,264 All right. My name is... 581 00:42:35,320 --> 00:42:37,281 Hey, how 'bout those Knicks? 582 00:42:38,615 --> 00:42:42,619 I'm confused why you haven't said anything until now. 583 00:42:42,786 --> 00:42:43,954 I didn't know English. 584 00:42:44,329 --> 00:42:45,998 I see. Now you do? 585 00:42:46,081 --> 00:42:48,750 I learned from television. It's wonderful! 586 00:42:48,834 --> 00:42:51,420 I'll ask questions and if you answer correctly, 587 00:42:51,503 --> 00:42:53,380 you can win one of these prizes. 588 00:42:53,630 --> 00:42:55,841 A wall clock, matching washer and dryer, 589 00:42:55,924 --> 00:42:58,135 or a brand-new car! 590 00:42:58,343 --> 00:43:00,053 Let me go first, okay? 591 00:43:00,345 --> 00:43:02,472 Who are you? Where are you from? 592 00:43:02,764 --> 00:43:06,935 Begin when you were born and finish when you blew up the TVs. 593 00:43:14,818 --> 00:43:16,153 Pretty. 594 00:43:17,654 --> 00:43:21,658 Well, yeah. I've never thought about it before. 595 00:43:22,784 --> 00:43:24,119 Are you from Cape Cod? 596 00:43:26,580 --> 00:43:29,333 No, I'm from another place. 597 00:43:30,209 --> 00:43:32,711 Yeah? I've got a cousin from there. Ha-ha-ha. 598 00:43:36,632 --> 00:43:38,050 Are you an American? 599 00:43:38,717 --> 00:43:39,968 No. 600 00:43:40,677 --> 00:43:44,514 Then why were you in Cape Cod and now New York? 601 00:43:44,681 --> 00:43:46,850 How did the cops find you naked? 602 00:43:47,059 --> 00:43:48,352 What's that? 603 00:43:49,144 --> 00:43:50,520 What? The music? 604 00:43:50,896 --> 00:43:53,690 I like music! I heard some in the television, 605 00:43:53,774 --> 00:43:55,108 Dance Fever. 606 00:43:55,359 --> 00:43:58,820 Hey, I love you, girl 607 00:43:59,196 --> 00:44:00,656 Darling 608 00:44:00,739 --> 00:44:02,741 Ah, hi, hi. 609 00:44:02,824 --> 00:44:05,077 We better go, hon, or else we'll be late. 610 00:44:05,577 --> 00:44:06,995 You never heard music? 611 00:44:07,162 --> 00:44:08,538 What's that? 612 00:44:08,664 --> 00:44:11,375 - Ah... 613 00:44:11,625 --> 00:44:13,460 --Oh, gosh! 614 00:44:13,543 --> 00:44:14,670 What's that? 615 00:44:14,753 --> 00:44:15,796 It's a movie theater. 616 00:44:15,879 --> 00:44:17,839 What the hell you doin'? You could've got me killed! 617 00:44:17,965 --> 00:44:20,342 Cut her some slack. She's from out of town. 618 00:44:20,467 --> 00:44:21,718 Keep her on a leash. 619 00:44:22,052 --> 00:44:23,804 Yeah, yeah. Have a nice day. 620 00:44:23,887 --> 00:44:25,138 Hello? 621 00:44:29,559 --> 00:44:30,686 Did you see this? 622 00:44:30,852 --> 00:44:34,064 It's wonderfully delicious and so good for you. 623 00:44:34,898 --> 00:44:38,235 While you're here, watch a little less TV. 624 00:44:40,112 --> 00:44:43,699 How long are you going to be in town? 625 00:44:45,033 --> 00:44:47,077 Six fun-filled days. 626 00:44:47,995 --> 00:44:49,413 Oh, six days. 627 00:44:49,913 --> 00:44:51,164 Is that all? 628 00:44:53,333 --> 00:44:54,835 Six days, 629 00:44:55,460 --> 00:44:57,087 and the moon is full. 630 00:44:58,297 --> 00:44:59,673 Oh. 631 00:45:02,175 --> 00:45:03,802 The moon is full. 632 00:45:10,309 --> 00:45:13,103 If I stay longer than that, I can't ever go back. 633 00:45:14,146 --> 00:45:15,605 Oh, I get... What? 634 00:45:15,939 --> 00:45:18,400 Is there some sort of immigration problem? 635 00:45:19,276 --> 00:45:20,777 Where did you get that? 636 00:45:21,236 --> 00:45:23,196 Where? Oh, for... 637 00:45:26,408 --> 00:45:29,745 Sir? Here you are, sir. There you go. 638 00:45:31,121 --> 00:45:33,373 I'm going to have to call you something in English, 639 00:45:33,457 --> 00:45:36,209 because I can't pronounce... What? 640 00:45:36,293 --> 00:45:37,961 What are English names? 641 00:45:38,628 --> 00:45:40,672 There's millions of them, I guess. 642 00:45:40,922 --> 00:45:42,883 Jennifer, Joanie, Hillary. 643 00:45:42,966 --> 00:45:44,634 Careful. Those are hot. 644 00:45:45,302 --> 00:45:47,596 Names, names. Linda, Kim... 645 00:45:47,679 --> 00:45:49,973 Where are we? Madison. 646 00:45:50,098 --> 00:45:52,392 - Elizabeth, Samantha... -I like Madison. 647 00:45:52,893 --> 00:45:54,686 Madison's not a name. 648 00:45:56,646 --> 00:45:59,483 Well, all right. Madison it is. 649 00:45:59,691 --> 00:46:01,818 Good thing we weren't at 149th Street. 650 00:46:02,527 --> 00:46:04,404 Are we going back to where you live? 651 00:46:05,739 --> 00:46:08,325 Okay, um, here's the thing. 652 00:46:08,450 --> 00:46:11,328 I was going to find you a hotel, 653 00:46:12,162 --> 00:46:14,539 but I figure that after this afternoon... 654 00:46:15,957 --> 00:46:18,502 Well, I just assumed that... 655 00:46:21,213 --> 00:46:24,341 Would you mind staying with me? 656 00:46:26,468 --> 00:46:27,928 I want to stay with you. 657 00:46:28,595 --> 00:46:30,555 You're the reason I came here. 658 00:46:41,775 --> 00:46:43,527 Ah, that was a kiss. 659 00:46:44,528 --> 00:46:45,612 I know. 660 00:48:57,619 --> 00:48:58,745 Madison? 661 00:49:08,338 --> 00:49:10,382 - Madison? -Allen? 662 00:49:11,716 --> 00:49:13,510 Yeah, of course it's Allen. 663 00:49:14,010 --> 00:49:15,262 What are you doing, sweetheart? 664 00:49:16,221 --> 00:49:17,639 Taking a bath. 665 00:49:18,348 --> 00:49:20,934 Ooo, ooo. Can I come in? 666 00:49:22,352 --> 00:49:23,478 No! 667 00:49:25,814 --> 00:49:27,190 What was that? 668 00:49:27,357 --> 00:49:28,900 Madison, are you all right? 669 00:49:29,025 --> 00:49:30,694 Everything's fine. 670 00:49:30,902 --> 00:49:31,903 Then let me in. 671 00:49:32,070 --> 00:49:34,823 I'll be right there. I'm just changing. 672 00:49:34,906 --> 00:49:37,742 Enough! Open the door. Something is wrong. 673 00:49:38,368 --> 00:49:40,453 Allen, can you make me some pancakes? 674 00:49:40,537 --> 00:49:42,205 Make you some... Madison! 675 00:49:42,914 --> 00:49:44,583 All right, Madison, this is getting scary. 676 00:49:44,666 --> 00:49:47,002 Either open this door, or I'll break it down! 677 00:49:47,961 --> 00:49:50,297 - No, Allen, please. -All right, that's it! 678 00:49:50,380 --> 00:49:52,382 - Allen, no! -Ow. 679 00:50:04,185 --> 00:50:05,520 Hi. 680 00:50:06,396 --> 00:50:09,524 Hi. Are you okay? 681 00:50:10,567 --> 00:50:11,901 Yeah. 682 00:50:12,068 --> 00:50:13,695 Why wouldn't you let me in? 683 00:50:15,488 --> 00:50:17,782 I was shy. 684 00:50:20,118 --> 00:50:21,536 You were shy? 685 00:50:22,120 --> 00:50:25,165 After the car, elevator, bedroom, 686 00:50:25,248 --> 00:50:27,584 and top of the refrigerator, you were shy? 687 00:50:30,086 --> 00:50:31,463 I was shy. 688 00:50:33,006 --> 00:50:34,215 She was shy. 689 00:51:05,622 --> 00:51:07,332 Hey, B.B. Brain! 690 00:51:08,458 --> 00:51:11,252 - Yeah? -See this hose? 691 00:51:12,212 --> 00:51:15,131 - It's so I can breathe. -Uh-huh. 692 00:51:15,632 --> 00:51:17,926 You want to get your chair off it? 693 00:51:18,635 --> 00:51:19,719 Huh? 694 00:51:29,479 --> 00:51:31,064 The Star Confidential? 695 00:51:32,899 --> 00:51:33,942 Yeah. 696 00:51:34,025 --> 00:51:35,110 Why are you reading that? 697 00:51:35,694 --> 00:51:36,736 I don't know. 698 00:51:37,529 --> 00:51:41,241 What possesses the uneducated to purchase these? 699 00:51:41,825 --> 00:51:43,076 Interesting. 700 00:51:43,159 --> 00:51:44,994 You're not helping yourself. 701 00:51:45,328 --> 00:51:48,331 You're not... This is not news. 702 00:51:48,957 --> 00:51:51,167 Give me this. You know what's in here? 703 00:51:51,459 --> 00:51:54,838 Nothing. You have sex, perversion. 704 00:51:55,130 --> 00:51:57,215 It's all fabrication. Look at this. 705 00:51:57,882 --> 00:52:00,260 A naked woman at the Statue of Liberty. 706 00:52:02,804 --> 00:52:04,514 Where would they find a girl to do that? 707 00:52:10,186 --> 00:52:12,397 - Ow, my head! -Let me see that. 708 00:52:21,197 --> 00:52:23,408 Take me back to shore. Now! 709 00:52:28,246 --> 00:52:29,247 Hello. 710 00:52:34,461 --> 00:52:35,962 Madison, what is it? 711 00:52:37,005 --> 00:52:38,214 What happened? 712 00:52:40,592 --> 00:52:42,802 It's the saddest thing I ever saw. 713 00:52:45,513 --> 00:52:46,931 It's Bonanza. 714 00:52:48,224 --> 00:52:51,352 The man killed another man and he died in the street. 715 00:52:52,645 --> 00:52:55,940 No, no. This is only TV. 716 00:52:56,149 --> 00:52:59,778 I thought you understood about TV being make-believe. 717 00:53:00,028 --> 00:53:03,072 It's pretend killing that's going on. See, now. 718 00:53:03,239 --> 00:53:05,033 This guy is an actor. 719 00:53:05,116 --> 00:53:07,368 Next week, he'll get shot on another show. 720 00:53:08,077 --> 00:53:09,662 When you think about it, it's kinda funny. 721 00:53:12,540 --> 00:53:14,375 I'm supposed to laugh? 722 00:53:15,543 --> 00:53:17,754 Yeah. There you go. 723 00:53:18,671 --> 00:53:19,839 Yeah. 724 00:53:21,132 --> 00:53:22,801 I got you something. 725 00:53:38,566 --> 00:53:41,402 It's beautiful. I love it. 726 00:53:44,155 --> 00:53:46,366 No, you open it. 727 00:53:47,325 --> 00:53:48,409 There's more? 728 00:55:05,945 --> 00:55:07,030 Do you like that? 729 00:55:07,822 --> 00:55:09,115 Yeah, I do. 730 00:55:10,867 --> 00:55:12,869 I don't know why. Just... 731 00:55:13,953 --> 00:55:15,455 Something about it. 732 00:55:15,747 --> 00:55:17,248 It's always appealed to me. 733 00:55:19,792 --> 00:55:21,210 Do you like the sea? 734 00:55:22,545 --> 00:55:27,008 No. When I was about eight, I had this accident on a ship. 735 00:55:27,425 --> 00:55:28,718 I remember. 736 00:55:30,178 --> 00:55:31,387 What? 737 00:55:32,388 --> 00:55:35,600 Ah, I can't. I forget the words. 738 00:55:35,725 --> 00:55:38,102 What's... I understand. 739 00:55:41,731 --> 00:55:43,942 Did you get hurt? 740 00:55:45,234 --> 00:55:47,987 No, no, I didn't, 741 00:55:48,655 --> 00:55:52,909 but when I was underwater, I could have sworn I saw... 742 00:55:54,410 --> 00:55:55,912 What? 743 00:55:57,246 --> 00:55:58,289 Nothing. 744 00:55:58,414 --> 00:55:59,624 - What? -Nothing! 745 00:56:00,249 --> 00:56:01,751 I was just a stupid kid. 746 00:56:05,964 --> 00:56:07,840 They're going to tear this park out. 747 00:56:08,049 --> 00:56:09,258 Why'? 748 00:56:09,592 --> 00:56:13,012 They're gonna build river-front condos or some such nonsense. 749 00:56:13,680 --> 00:56:15,431 What are you gonna do, huh? 750 00:56:20,186 --> 00:56:21,604 You want to go home? 751 00:56:22,271 --> 00:56:24,023 No, I have five days left! 752 00:56:24,107 --> 00:56:26,859 No, no, no. My home! 753 00:56:27,443 --> 00:56:28,486 Oh. 754 00:56:29,654 --> 00:56:31,406 Yes. 755 00:56:42,250 --> 00:56:44,794 Why do we want to go to a political dinner? 756 00:56:44,877 --> 00:56:46,587 The president will be speaking. 757 00:56:46,671 --> 00:56:48,047 President of what? 758 00:56:48,172 --> 00:56:50,299 President of the Three Stooges Fan Club. 759 00:56:50,633 --> 00:56:52,385 - The president of the United States! -Wow. 760 00:56:52,885 --> 00:56:54,887 I tell you. We'll be rubbing elbows with the big boys. 761 00:56:55,221 --> 00:56:56,514 You think big, you be big. 762 00:56:56,597 --> 00:56:57,640 I guess so. 763 00:56:57,932 --> 00:56:59,308 Listen, 764 00:57:00,601 --> 00:57:04,105 would you mind if I took Madison to this thing instead of going with you? 765 00:57:07,650 --> 00:57:09,193 What? 766 00:57:09,694 --> 00:57:11,529 - What? -What? 767 00:57:12,321 --> 00:57:14,449 Something in here networking? 768 00:57:14,782 --> 00:57:18,453 "Oh, I'll never fall in love, Freddie. 769 00:57:18,536 --> 00:57:21,330 "I can't. It won't work with me." 770 00:57:21,664 --> 00:57:24,083 Who said anything about me being in love? 771 00:57:24,167 --> 00:57:26,169 You haven't been to work in two days. 772 00:57:26,627 --> 00:57:28,087 - So? -Admit it. 773 00:57:29,005 --> 00:57:30,339 - No. -Admit it! 774 00:57:30,590 --> 00:57:31,799 Eye gouge! 775 00:57:34,510 --> 00:57:36,095 Ahhh. Ahhh! 776 00:57:36,512 --> 00:57:37,597 - Admit it. -No. 777 00:57:37,680 --> 00:57:39,015 Bone crusher! 778 00:57:46,105 --> 00:57:47,315 Son of a... 779 00:57:56,365 --> 00:57:57,408 Ow. 780 00:58:00,703 --> 00:58:02,121 How long we been playing? 781 00:58:02,205 --> 00:58:03,414 About five minutes. 782 00:58:03,498 --> 00:58:04,874 Oh, God. 783 00:58:05,374 --> 00:58:07,126 My heart's beating like a rabbit. 784 00:58:08,669 --> 00:58:10,421 You, uh, want a beer? 785 00:58:11,255 --> 00:58:12,715 No, thanks. 786 00:58:26,562 --> 00:58:29,398 So, tell me this. 787 00:58:29,899 --> 00:58:31,484 If you're not in love with her, 788 00:58:31,567 --> 00:58:34,695 how come little things she does drive you crazy so much? 789 00:58:35,238 --> 00:58:36,531 Little things? 790 00:58:36,864 --> 00:58:41,119 Freddie, the woman learned English in a single afternoon. 791 00:58:43,454 --> 00:58:45,540 She could probably speak English already. 792 00:58:46,040 --> 00:58:48,334 I think she was in shock from being arrested, you know. 793 00:58:48,459 --> 00:58:50,044 Now, what about that, huh? 794 00:58:50,545 --> 00:58:53,256 What about a woman showing up naked in a public place, Freddie? 795 00:58:53,589 --> 00:58:54,966 I'm for it, of course. 796 00:58:56,259 --> 00:59:00,555 You said that she had some kind of immigration problem. 797 00:59:00,721 --> 00:59:04,433 She's on an ocean liner in international waters. 798 00:59:04,684 --> 00:59:08,521 And she sees America. It looks good. 799 00:59:08,688 --> 00:59:12,191 So, she greases her body up like a channel swimmer. 800 00:59:12,358 --> 00:59:16,612 She dives in. She has heavy trouble with sharks, 801 00:59:16,821 --> 00:59:21,409 she goes through the Coast Guard, minefields and then she's on shore. 802 00:59:21,492 --> 00:59:23,077 She's okay. That's it. 803 00:59:25,621 --> 00:59:27,373 What about the bathtub, 804 00:59:28,166 --> 00:59:30,251 this moon stuff, and all those TVs? 805 00:59:30,751 --> 00:59:32,378 Look, I'm being serious. 806 00:59:32,712 --> 00:59:37,550 I admit to a few minor fiascos in my love life. 807 00:59:37,967 --> 00:59:41,220 Freddie, you took a date to one of your own weddings! 808 00:59:42,471 --> 00:59:44,682 I'm a free spirit! 809 00:59:44,891 --> 00:59:48,186 I'm extremely liberal, a freewheeling dude. 810 00:59:48,644 --> 00:59:50,855 You know what your problem is? You're in love with this girl. 811 00:59:50,938 --> 00:59:52,648 You're trying to convince yourself you're not. 812 00:59:54,775 --> 00:59:56,652 I just don't know, Freddie. 813 00:59:56,819 --> 00:59:59,238 Something about it isn't right. 814 01:00:00,198 --> 01:00:01,449 I'll serve. 815 01:00:01,699 --> 01:00:03,451 Hold the beer. That will be your handicap. 816 01:00:03,576 --> 01:00:05,328 - Oh, we're gonna play? -Yeah. 817 01:00:06,495 --> 01:00:08,331 I'm gonna teach you a lesson in humility. 818 01:00:08,497 --> 01:00:09,582 Wait. 819 01:00:09,665 --> 01:00:10,958 Humility 101. 820 01:00:11,918 --> 01:00:13,753 - You all set? -Yeah. 821 01:00:13,836 --> 01:00:15,004 Here we go. 822 01:00:17,006 --> 01:00:18,049 Oh! 823 01:00:24,513 --> 01:00:27,099 This is what we came to hear? 824 01:00:30,686 --> 01:00:32,605 You call and tell us 825 01:00:32,688 --> 01:00:37,401 that you have stretched the frontiers of paleontology and zoology. 826 01:00:38,027 --> 01:00:43,491 We interrupt important, serious work to fly here at a moment's notice, 827 01:00:43,699 --> 01:00:46,160 and you give us mermaids! 828 01:00:46,369 --> 01:00:49,205 Don't call us. Call the comic book companies. 829 01:00:49,288 --> 01:00:53,125 Enough. We have a seminar in three weeks. Be ready. 830 01:00:59,382 --> 01:01:01,634 Allen, you're here! I got you a present. 831 01:01:02,760 --> 01:01:04,887 - Don't look. Close your eyes. -I gotta close the door. 832 01:01:05,179 --> 01:01:06,973 What are you doing? 833 01:01:07,890 --> 01:01:09,225 All right. 834 01:01:10,768 --> 01:01:12,728 Okay. Look. 835 01:01:19,694 --> 01:01:22,905 Ha-ha! Wha... You, ah... 836 01:01:23,281 --> 01:01:25,533 Well, that's big! 837 01:01:27,368 --> 01:01:29,203 Yeah, this is... 838 01:01:30,079 --> 01:01:35,167 This is very big, and it's really here. 839 01:01:35,960 --> 01:01:37,753 It's just so big! 840 01:01:37,837 --> 01:01:39,880 They were gonna tear it down, so I bought it for you. 841 01:01:40,423 --> 01:01:43,092 Where did you get the money to pay for it? 842 01:01:45,219 --> 01:01:47,930 Madison, where's your necklace? 843 01:01:49,056 --> 01:01:50,599 I traded it for the statue. 844 01:01:50,933 --> 01:01:51,934 Why'? 845 01:01:53,686 --> 01:01:55,187 Because I love you. 846 01:01:57,273 --> 01:01:59,692 Oh, Madison. 847 01:02:03,988 --> 01:02:05,698 Madison, I love... 848 01:02:06,198 --> 01:02:07,658 This, ah, present. 849 01:02:08,617 --> 01:02:10,036 I love it. 850 01:02:13,205 --> 01:02:14,623 And I love you. 851 01:02:21,589 --> 01:02:22,798 What's happened to you? 852 01:02:23,215 --> 01:02:25,551 You were the brightest student in my class. 853 01:02:26,218 --> 01:02:29,472 True, emotionally, you were 12 years old. 854 01:02:29,638 --> 01:02:31,098 I was 12 years old. 855 01:02:31,182 --> 01:02:32,641 That's right. 856 01:02:33,309 --> 01:02:34,935 Look what you've become, 857 01:02:35,561 --> 01:02:36,854 a schmuck. 858 01:02:38,105 --> 01:02:40,733 There is a mermaid in New York City. 859 01:02:41,692 --> 01:02:45,237 You mean this naked girl? 860 01:02:46,322 --> 01:02:47,740 How come she's got legs? 861 01:02:48,407 --> 01:02:52,244 She has legs out of water and fins in the water. 862 01:02:52,370 --> 01:02:55,498 You taught me that, Dr. Zidell. Remember? 863 01:02:55,873 --> 01:02:58,209 You taught me all the legends. 864 01:02:58,876 --> 01:03:00,711 You used to bring me in the office. 865 01:03:00,795 --> 01:03:02,880 You used to show me charts on the walls 866 01:03:02,963 --> 01:03:05,674 where sailors had claimed they saw mermaids. 867 01:03:05,841 --> 01:03:11,180 Walter, that was for fun, for relaxation, not for you to build your whole life on. 868 01:03:13,265 --> 01:03:16,727 I'm gonna prove to you and everyone else 869 01:03:16,894 --> 01:03:19,355 that that girl is a mermaid! 870 01:03:20,314 --> 01:03:21,690 How? 871 01:03:21,816 --> 01:03:25,152 You gonna get her wet so everybody sees she has fins? 872 01:04:00,813 --> 01:04:02,148 Taxi? 873 01:04:05,151 --> 01:04:06,360 Oh! 874 01:04:06,444 --> 01:04:08,487 - Watch it! -Hey, watch it, buddy. 875 01:04:08,571 --> 01:04:09,613 Excuse me. 876 01:04:15,077 --> 01:04:16,454 Look out. 877 01:04:20,291 --> 01:04:22,209 What does he think he's doing? 878 01:04:23,586 --> 01:04:25,087 Hey! Hey! 879 01:04:38,434 --> 01:04:39,935 Oh, my. 880 01:04:40,978 --> 01:04:44,231 - Ow, ohh, Oof! 881 01:05:11,509 --> 01:05:12,551 Oops. 882 01:05:14,470 --> 01:05:15,596 Nice earrings. 883 01:05:18,516 --> 01:05:21,060 - Is something the matter? -No, nothing at all. 884 01:05:21,143 --> 01:05:25,981 I was thinking. You don't have to leave the country. 885 01:05:27,816 --> 01:05:29,401 - I do. -You don't. 886 01:05:29,485 --> 01:05:33,239 There's stuff we can do to get around the immigration laws. 887 01:05:33,322 --> 01:05:37,034 For instance, I could give you a job down at the market. 888 01:05:37,910 --> 01:05:39,495 You could get a work visa. 889 01:05:40,621 --> 01:05:44,375 Or, uh, you could, uh, 890 01:05:45,167 --> 01:05:47,836 marry, like, an American, 891 01:05:48,837 --> 01:05:50,297 and they have to let you stay. 892 01:05:50,881 --> 01:05:52,174 Our food is here! 893 01:05:53,842 --> 01:05:58,347 Oh. Well, we'll talk about it later. 894 01:05:59,348 --> 01:06:02,101 Do be careful, madam. The plate is very hot. 895 01:06:03,185 --> 01:06:05,104 Thank you. These look terrific. 896 01:06:27,001 --> 01:06:28,669 She's really hungry! 897 01:06:54,612 --> 01:06:56,280 You were very good. 898 01:06:56,572 --> 01:06:59,575 Come on. Oops. Come on. 899 01:07:01,076 --> 01:07:02,578 Let's sit down and talk. 900 01:07:04,955 --> 01:07:06,248 Ah. 901 01:07:08,208 --> 01:07:09,543 Your nose is cold. 902 01:07:10,419 --> 01:07:12,046 I don't want to talk about my nose. 903 01:07:12,796 --> 01:07:14,423 Your ears are all red! 904 01:07:15,090 --> 01:07:17,593 I don't want to talk about any part of my face. 905 01:07:19,428 --> 01:07:23,891 But I do want to talk about what happened in the restaurant. 906 01:07:25,934 --> 01:07:27,186 I'm sorry. 907 01:07:27,603 --> 01:07:29,730 That's how we eat lobster where I come from. 908 01:07:29,855 --> 01:07:33,692 Oh, no, no, no. I don't care about that. 909 01:07:34,109 --> 01:07:35,444 No. I don't care about that. 910 01:07:36,904 --> 01:07:40,366 I was trying to do something in there, and I guess I did it very badly. 911 01:07:40,449 --> 01:07:42,159 I was trying 912 01:07:43,994 --> 01:07:47,039 to ask you if you wanted to get married. 913 01:07:50,501 --> 01:07:52,127 Madison, will you marry me? 914 01:07:59,468 --> 01:08:00,803 No. 915 01:08:01,845 --> 01:08:04,306 What? No? Just no? 916 01:08:04,556 --> 01:08:07,267 You don't want to think about it, kick it around? 917 01:08:07,351 --> 01:08:09,144 - I can't. -Why? 918 01:08:10,312 --> 01:08:11,730 I can't tell you. 919 01:08:11,814 --> 01:08:16,443 I know you have some big secret you think you can't tell me, but you can. 920 01:08:16,527 --> 01:08:18,570 - You're already married? -Allen. 921 01:08:18,654 --> 01:08:20,489 You're dying? You were once a man? 922 01:08:20,572 --> 01:08:22,074 Whatever it is, I don't care, you can tell me. 923 01:08:22,157 --> 01:08:23,367 Allen. 924 01:08:23,992 --> 01:08:26,036 I only have three days left. 925 01:08:28,831 --> 01:08:30,499 Please make them wonderful. 926 01:08:33,419 --> 01:08:34,670 Okay. 927 01:08:42,511 --> 01:08:43,846 Want to skate some more? 928 01:08:46,014 --> 01:08:47,266 Yeah. Yeah, I do. 929 01:08:51,937 --> 01:08:53,522 Allen? 930 01:09:11,039 --> 01:09:12,249 You know them? 931 01:09:12,458 --> 01:09:15,753 No, I've just seen them before. 932 01:09:15,878 --> 01:09:18,672 I guess they've been coming here together for about 40 years. 933 01:09:21,800 --> 01:09:23,343 They look very happy. 934 01:09:24,094 --> 01:09:26,346 Why shouldn't they be happy, huh? 935 01:09:26,847 --> 01:09:29,349 They get to spend their whole lives together, don't they? 936 01:09:33,395 --> 01:09:36,315 Is this really what happens when water gets cold? 937 01:09:36,982 --> 01:09:38,233 Yeah. 938 01:09:39,526 --> 01:09:41,779 Where I come from, it never gets cold. 939 01:09:42,070 --> 01:09:44,490 Well, hey, what a breakthrough! 940 01:09:45,032 --> 01:09:47,785 You just really opened up to me there. 941 01:09:51,789 --> 01:09:53,248 Your voice sounds funny. 942 01:09:53,749 --> 01:09:55,375 It's called sarcasm. 943 01:09:55,459 --> 01:09:57,669 They don't have that where you come from either? 944 01:10:00,255 --> 01:10:01,507 No. 945 01:10:04,676 --> 01:10:06,762 Well, they don't have anything, do they? 946 01:10:07,304 --> 01:10:11,391 They don't have ice, or music or clothes. 947 01:10:11,725 --> 01:10:14,353 What kind of a place is this, Madison? 948 01:10:15,604 --> 01:10:16,939 Madison? 949 01:10:17,314 --> 01:10:18,690 Madison! 950 01:10:18,941 --> 01:10:20,776 Hey, those skates are rented! 951 01:10:20,943 --> 01:10:24,530 Give me one second. Madison? Ahh! Madison! 952 01:10:27,157 --> 01:10:29,868 Madison, please? I'm sorry! 953 01:10:29,952 --> 01:10:32,746 Let her go. Show some dignity, for Christ's sake. 954 01:10:33,163 --> 01:10:34,540 Madison? 955 01:10:43,340 --> 01:10:44,633 Thanks. 956 01:12:35,953 --> 01:12:37,746 Hey, Charlie. How's it goin'? 957 01:12:43,460 --> 01:12:45,045 - Allen? -What? 958 01:12:54,012 --> 01:12:55,222 Yes. 959 01:13:10,153 --> 01:13:14,449 If we get our blood test today, we can marry tomorrow! 960 01:13:14,616 --> 01:13:16,910 Before the blood test, I have to tell you everything. 961 01:13:17,035 --> 01:13:18,370 So, tell me. 962 01:13:19,579 --> 01:13:21,540 - Not today. -But see, 963 01:13:21,623 --> 01:13:24,209 if we get the test today, no pressure, mind you, 964 01:13:24,292 --> 01:13:25,794 but if we get the blood test today, 965 01:13:25,877 --> 01:13:28,046 as soon as you tell me, we can get married. 966 01:13:28,630 --> 01:13:30,507 Listen, you will love being married to me. 967 01:13:30,632 --> 01:13:31,717 I was born to be married. 968 01:13:31,800 --> 01:13:34,136 I happen to come from a long line of married people. 969 01:13:34,219 --> 01:13:36,054 My mom and dad were married. 970 01:13:36,138 --> 01:13:38,056 Their moms and dads were married, too. 971 01:14:18,096 --> 01:14:19,514 Son of a bitch. 972 01:14:20,474 --> 01:14:22,350 I thought we were going upstairs. 973 01:14:22,434 --> 01:14:25,270 Yeah, I know. I love you. I'm not gonna lose you again. 974 01:14:25,353 --> 01:14:26,897 We are getting married tonight. 975 01:14:27,022 --> 01:14:28,648 We're gonna drive to Maryland. 976 01:14:28,732 --> 01:14:30,025 I don't know why I didn't think of it before. 977 01:14:30,108 --> 01:14:33,278 Freddie always marries there. You don't need a blood test down there. 978 01:14:34,112 --> 01:14:36,364 There's this dinner with the president. Damn! 979 01:14:36,531 --> 01:14:40,827 Hey, that's okay! We'll go to Maryland after dinner. 980 01:14:40,911 --> 01:14:42,454 We'll already be dressed up! 981 01:14:42,537 --> 01:14:43,789 I haven't told you... 982 01:14:43,872 --> 01:14:45,665 I know. You haven't told me this big secret. 983 01:14:45,749 --> 01:14:48,168 That's okay. Tell me on the way to Maryland. 984 01:14:49,753 --> 01:14:51,088 Ooh! 985 01:15:21,326 --> 01:15:24,371 You know what I hope? I hope we have a boy and a girl. 986 01:15:26,540 --> 01:15:28,041 What kind? 987 01:15:29,626 --> 01:15:32,838 What kind? The young kind, I guess. 988 01:15:32,963 --> 01:15:35,173 The older ones are a little hard to deliver. 989 01:15:36,049 --> 01:15:37,551 We're getting married tonight. 990 01:15:37,717 --> 01:15:39,761 - Wonderful. -Thank you. 991 01:15:40,887 --> 01:15:43,098 Why is this bread in here instead of out there? 992 01:15:43,431 --> 01:15:45,267 The butter is hard like a rock. 993 01:15:46,518 --> 01:15:48,270 Do you have a broken arm? 994 01:15:48,645 --> 01:15:52,107 No, it's fractured in 16 places. 995 01:15:52,607 --> 01:15:54,025 Why are you here? 996 01:15:56,278 --> 01:15:57,445 The union sent me. 997 01:15:59,656 --> 01:16:02,909 My God, the president is here! 998 01:16:03,160 --> 01:16:06,413 The president's here. The president's here! 999 01:16:24,347 --> 01:16:25,682 Hmm. 1000 01:16:42,157 --> 01:16:47,329 I'm just a corn-fed Kansas boy, but you are the Big Apple of my eye. 1001 01:16:48,705 --> 01:16:50,123 Thank you. 1002 01:16:51,374 --> 01:16:52,584 Thank you. 1003 01:16:52,876 --> 01:16:54,336 Thank you very much. 1004 01:16:56,504 --> 01:16:59,341 Thank you. It's great to be back in New York. 1005 01:17:11,645 --> 01:17:13,313 Alert. Alert. Table 5. 1006 01:17:13,521 --> 01:17:15,523 Intercept busboy with suspicious hump. 1007 01:17:19,027 --> 01:17:20,820 He's reaching! Get him now! 1008 01:17:22,030 --> 01:17:23,990 - Sir, I'd like a word with you, please. -About what? 1009 01:17:24,449 --> 01:17:26,159 This has nothing to do with the president. 1010 01:17:26,368 --> 01:17:27,786 This has nothing to do with the president! 1011 01:17:31,665 --> 01:17:34,876 Well, I guess he just found out what his dinner cost. 1012 01:17:38,880 --> 01:17:40,674 I want to talk to the press. 1013 01:17:40,966 --> 01:17:42,550 I want to talk to the press. 1014 01:17:43,718 --> 01:17:45,637 I have a formal statement to make! 1015 01:17:46,554 --> 01:17:49,224 In Bob Hollins, you have a candidate for Congress 1016 01:17:49,307 --> 01:17:50,976 who is in touch with the people. 1017 01:17:51,226 --> 01:17:54,562 A man who built up the business left to him by his grandfather. 1018 01:17:55,313 --> 01:17:57,315 What was once a small pushcart on wheels... 1019 01:17:58,191 --> 01:18:00,068 - Allen? -Yeah? 1020 01:18:00,652 --> 01:18:02,237 It's time for me to tell you. 1021 01:18:03,280 --> 01:18:04,823 What? Now? 1022 01:18:05,657 --> 01:18:08,410 - Right now. -Okay. Great. 1023 01:18:08,493 --> 01:18:10,203 - Not here. -Fine. Fine. 1024 01:18:10,287 --> 01:18:12,247 But more importantly, with fresh meat. 1025 01:18:15,375 --> 01:18:17,836 I am not crazy. There's a mermaid in there. 1026 01:18:17,919 --> 01:18:19,879 - Shut up. -I am a scientist! 1027 01:18:20,839 --> 01:18:22,465 Where's the goddamn car! 1028 01:18:23,591 --> 01:18:25,176 The gray BMW. 1029 01:18:30,015 --> 01:18:31,725 Hey, I know that guy. 1030 01:18:31,975 --> 01:18:34,811 I saw him on Cape Cod. He was crazy then. 1031 01:18:36,187 --> 01:18:38,857 There she is! There she is! 1032 01:18:41,609 --> 01:18:43,445 - Don't let him shoot that. -That a gun? 1033 01:18:44,446 --> 01:18:46,239 - Hold it! -No! 1034 01:18:46,614 --> 01:18:48,283 Get that thing out of his hand. 1035 01:18:49,784 --> 01:18:51,244 Grab that hose! 1036 01:18:51,786 --> 01:18:54,664 Grab him! Get him! 1037 01:18:59,502 --> 01:19:01,379 - No! -What's going on? 1038 01:19:20,565 --> 01:19:22,567 I was right! 1039 01:19:23,485 --> 01:19:26,154 Behold the mermaid! 1040 01:19:33,370 --> 01:19:34,996 Let me outta here! 1041 01:19:35,497 --> 01:19:37,290 Who are you? What is your name? 1042 01:19:37,499 --> 01:19:38,917 Allen! 1043 01:19:40,460 --> 01:19:42,670 - What do we do? -Grab her. Grab everybody. 1044 01:19:43,505 --> 01:19:44,839 I want to see her. 1045 01:19:44,923 --> 01:19:46,174 Allen! 1046 01:19:48,510 --> 01:19:50,011 Get her! Get her! 1047 01:19:51,679 --> 01:19:52,764 Allen! 1048 01:19:57,227 --> 01:19:58,561 Please? 1049 01:19:58,686 --> 01:20:01,648 - Let's pick her up. -Allen. Allen! 1050 01:20:13,868 --> 01:20:15,537 Allen! 1051 01:20:22,752 --> 01:20:24,379 Good afternoon, Dr. Ross. 1052 01:20:26,047 --> 01:20:28,216 Dr. Hill, line 5. Stat! 1053 01:20:31,511 --> 01:20:32,554 - Buckwalter. -Sir! 1054 01:20:34,222 --> 01:20:35,723 Gentlemen. 1055 01:20:35,974 --> 01:20:37,767 - Anything? -No change. 1056 01:20:48,528 --> 01:20:50,488 I am not a fish! 1057 01:20:51,197 --> 01:20:54,576 How many times do I have to tell you that? 1058 01:20:55,785 --> 01:20:58,872 Will you just let me out of here? 1059 01:20:58,955 --> 01:21:01,833 Please? Huh? People? 1060 01:21:02,959 --> 01:21:04,419 Let's try some interaction. 1061 01:21:04,878 --> 01:21:06,671 Fine. Jim? 1062 01:21:59,098 --> 01:22:02,310 I guess they thought you might be one. 1063 01:22:04,437 --> 01:22:05,688 Yeah. 1064 01:22:06,898 --> 01:22:08,316 I guess so. 1065 01:22:10,610 --> 01:22:13,279 You said whatever my secret was, you'd understand. 1066 01:22:15,114 --> 01:22:16,449 I know. 1067 01:22:20,453 --> 01:22:22,497 You thought at least I was a human being. 1068 01:22:30,755 --> 01:22:32,507 Allen? 1069 01:22:49,190 --> 01:22:52,318 He's been in the water 12 hours. He's just a man. 1070 01:22:52,443 --> 01:22:55,071 Get him out of there so we can concentrate on her. 1071 01:23:06,749 --> 01:23:09,377 Greg Martin, WMET Radio, here with Allen Bauer. 1072 01:23:09,877 --> 01:23:13,006 - When did you meet the mermaid? -Tell me, where did you meet? 1073 01:23:13,590 --> 01:23:15,383 Did you know she was a mermaid? 1074 01:23:15,466 --> 01:23:19,262 - Did you actually make love to her? -That's a stupid question. 1075 01:23:19,345 --> 01:23:20,763 Did she eat worms? 1076 01:23:21,431 --> 01:23:23,850 Would you have to make love to her in water? 1077 01:23:24,058 --> 01:23:25,727 That's none of your business. 1078 01:23:25,810 --> 01:23:28,229 Is she a mutant or missing link? 1079 01:23:28,646 --> 01:23:29,897 No, she's not. 1080 01:23:29,981 --> 01:23:33,318 I'm from People magazine. ls she also seeing Burt Reynolds? 1081 01:23:33,901 --> 01:23:35,361 For crying out loud! 1082 01:23:39,824 --> 01:23:41,075 Leave him alone! 1083 01:23:41,576 --> 01:23:45,246 Leave him alone! Get out of the way! Get out of the way! 1084 01:23:46,039 --> 01:23:47,832 - Let me through. -Out of the way. 1085 01:23:47,915 --> 01:23:51,169 - Allen, you all right? -Yeah. Get me out of here. 1086 01:23:51,252 --> 01:23:53,463 Is anyone here from Penthouse magazine? 1087 01:23:53,546 --> 01:23:55,465 - No. - Then we ain't talking. 1088 01:24:17,654 --> 01:24:18,905 Hey, Allen? 1089 01:24:26,287 --> 01:24:27,455 What are you looking at? 1090 01:24:27,622 --> 01:24:29,874 You never saw a guy who slept with a fish before? 1091 01:24:29,957 --> 01:24:31,459 Get back to work! 1092 01:24:34,212 --> 01:24:38,758 Mr. Bauer, you had a million messages. I wrote them down right here. 1093 01:24:38,966 --> 01:24:44,097 You got calls from CBS, NBC, ABC, AP, 1094 01:24:44,472 --> 01:24:48,142 UPI, Ted Turner, Time, Newsweek, 1095 01:24:48,226 --> 01:24:50,978 Marineland, Ripley's Believe It or Not, 1096 01:24:51,312 --> 01:24:53,022 and Mrs. Paul. 1097 01:24:53,564 --> 01:24:55,066 Not now, Mrs. Stimler. 1098 01:25:00,988 --> 01:25:02,281 "Fishman"? 1099 01:25:03,408 --> 01:25:04,701 "Fishman"? 1100 01:25:06,703 --> 01:25:08,413 That's what they're calling you on TV, too. 1101 01:25:08,830 --> 01:25:10,498 Personally, I think it's kinda cute. 1102 01:25:15,461 --> 01:25:16,713 So, how is she? 1103 01:25:17,088 --> 01:25:18,256 How is she? 1104 01:25:18,339 --> 01:25:19,966 She's a... 1105 01:25:21,134 --> 01:25:22,343 She's a mermaid. 1106 01:25:23,010 --> 01:25:24,178 I don't understand. 1107 01:25:25,638 --> 01:25:28,182 All my life I've been waiting for someone 1108 01:25:28,850 --> 01:25:32,854 and when I find her, she's a fish. 1109 01:25:33,980 --> 01:25:35,523 Nobody said love's perfect! 1110 01:25:35,898 --> 01:25:40,236 Oh, Freddie, I don't expect it to be perfect, 1111 01:25:40,319 --> 01:25:43,114 but for God's sake, it's usually human! 1112 01:25:45,533 --> 01:25:48,244 Every day people meet and they fall in love. 1113 01:25:48,453 --> 01:25:49,746 Look what I got. 1114 01:25:51,914 --> 01:25:55,042 Look what you got. Yeah, let's look at what you got. 1115 01:25:56,586 --> 01:25:58,880 Let's take a good look at what you got. 1116 01:25:59,714 --> 01:26:01,799 People fall in love every day, huh? ls that what you said? 1117 01:26:01,883 --> 01:26:03,301 - Yeah. -Yeah? 1118 01:26:03,384 --> 01:26:05,845 That's a crock! It doesn't work that way. 1119 01:26:06,888 --> 01:26:08,931 Do you realize how happy you were with her? 1120 01:26:09,015 --> 01:26:11,350 That is, when you weren't driving yourself crazy. 1121 01:26:12,310 --> 01:26:14,353 Every day? Come on. 1122 01:26:14,896 --> 01:26:18,441 Some people will never be that happy! I'll never be that happy. 1123 01:26:23,529 --> 01:26:24,989 What am I talking to you for? 1124 01:26:25,531 --> 01:26:27,533 You don't know nothing. Mrs. Stimler? 1125 01:27:01,776 --> 01:27:03,277 Does she look a little pale? 1126 01:27:05,279 --> 01:27:07,532 Ah, that's a good day's work. 1127 01:27:08,032 --> 01:27:10,952 Tomorrow, I want to see how she interacts 1128 01:27:11,035 --> 01:27:14,413 with other marine life, then the internal examination. 1129 01:27:16,999 --> 01:27:18,459 Internal examination. 1130 01:27:18,960 --> 01:27:21,587 Of course. I want to study her pulmonary system, 1131 01:27:21,671 --> 01:27:23,381 reproductive organs, everything! 1132 01:27:23,464 --> 01:27:24,757 Dr. Ross? 1133 01:27:26,342 --> 01:27:28,302 Are we considering 1134 01:27:28,928 --> 01:27:32,557 how the subject is responding to the examination procedure? 1135 01:27:32,682 --> 01:27:34,642 I'm considering everything! 1136 01:27:35,726 --> 01:27:39,856 Ah, yes. Well, I'm sure you are, Dr. Ross. 1137 01:27:39,981 --> 01:27:42,984 How stupid of me. But let me ask you this. 1138 01:27:43,067 --> 01:27:47,321 Are you considering the possibility that you might be a sadistic pig? 1139 01:27:52,159 --> 01:27:55,580 While we are baring our souls, Mr. Kornbluth, 1140 01:27:55,663 --> 01:27:59,292 I must honestly tell you I have never considered you a man of science. 1141 01:27:59,834 --> 01:28:02,295 You're not a member of my team. 1142 01:28:02,837 --> 01:28:07,174 Run along, Walter. See if you can't find a unicorn. 1143 01:29:17,078 --> 01:29:18,079 What's that? 1144 01:29:18,162 --> 01:29:19,956 Painkiller, Mr. Kornbluth. 1145 01:29:20,122 --> 01:29:22,416 Whoever punched you cracked your tooth. 1146 01:29:22,750 --> 01:29:25,211 We'll be very close to the nerve. 1147 01:29:25,419 --> 01:29:28,714 I don't deserve painkiller. Just drill. 1148 01:29:29,048 --> 01:29:33,094 Oh, you want pain. Well, we aim to please. 1149 01:29:36,764 --> 01:29:37,848 Get out. 1150 01:29:38,182 --> 01:29:39,725 - What are you... -Get out! 1151 01:29:40,017 --> 01:29:42,353 - Ja, ja, ja. -Please stay. Ahh! 1152 01:29:45,606 --> 01:29:46,774 Let's talk. 1153 01:29:49,860 --> 01:29:51,862 Hey, put that down. 1154 01:29:51,988 --> 01:29:54,281 - Put that needle down. -Stay away from me. 1155 01:29:54,448 --> 01:29:56,784 I said, "Let's talk." Put it down. 1156 01:29:56,867 --> 01:29:58,202 Stay away from me. 1157 01:30:04,166 --> 01:30:05,501 Ahhh! 1158 01:30:06,043 --> 01:30:09,463 Ahhh! Ohhh! 1159 01:30:11,215 --> 01:30:12,383 Uh. 1160 01:30:14,802 --> 01:30:15,970 Ah! 1161 01:30:17,471 --> 01:30:18,597 Ah! 1162 01:30:19,765 --> 01:30:20,933 Ah! 1163 01:30:21,559 --> 01:30:23,185 What a week I'm having! 1164 01:30:26,647 --> 01:30:28,357 You've destroyed my life, Kornbluth. 1165 01:30:28,607 --> 01:30:29,942 I didn't mean to. 1166 01:30:31,944 --> 01:30:34,447 I just had to prove that I wasn't crazy. 1167 01:30:35,156 --> 01:30:36,615 I'm a man of science. 1168 01:30:40,369 --> 01:30:43,122 I just didn't think about how it would affect you. 1169 01:30:44,707 --> 01:30:45,958 Or her. 1170 01:30:47,168 --> 01:30:48,502 I'm really a nice guy. 1171 01:30:49,211 --> 01:30:50,880 If I had friends, you could ask them. 1172 01:30:52,339 --> 01:30:53,966 I've been on the phone to every employee 1173 01:30:54,050 --> 01:30:55,551 of the United States government 1174 01:30:55,718 --> 01:30:57,219 calling them sons of bitches. 1175 01:31:00,222 --> 01:31:02,349 Nobody could even get in to see her. 1176 01:31:05,311 --> 01:31:06,395 I can. 1177 01:31:09,648 --> 01:31:11,358 Come on. Come on! 1178 01:31:11,859 --> 01:31:13,527 - Ahh! -Come on. 1179 01:31:55,486 --> 01:31:59,448 Good afternoon, Dr. Kornbluth. I wasn't expecting you today. 1180 01:31:59,532 --> 01:32:03,077 These are Drs. Jarred and Johannsen from the Stockholm Institute. 1181 01:32:03,577 --> 01:32:05,371 I thought they were coming later with Dr. Ross. 1182 01:32:06,872 --> 01:32:09,917 No, no. That story was to fool the press. 1183 01:32:12,294 --> 01:32:13,921 You know, I'm half Swedish. 1184 01:32:18,926 --> 01:32:20,594 - Ja. -Ja. 1185 01:32:24,265 --> 01:32:26,725 - Ja. -Oh, ja. 1186 01:32:28,686 --> 01:32:29,770 Well! 1187 01:32:30,437 --> 01:32:31,856 Just a second. 1188 01:32:48,330 --> 01:32:49,456 Ah. 1189 01:33:02,136 --> 01:33:04,471 - How the hell did you do that? -Let me tell you. 1190 01:33:04,763 --> 01:33:07,057 Many nudie films come from Sweden. 1191 01:33:07,224 --> 01:33:11,020 After you see them 400 or 500 times, the stuff sinks in. 1192 01:33:13,189 --> 01:33:14,315 Afternoon, Buckwalter. 1193 01:33:14,398 --> 01:33:16,567 Sorry, no one comes in 1194 01:33:16,692 --> 01:33:18,652 until Dr. Ross gets back with them Swede people. 1195 01:33:19,320 --> 01:33:20,654 These are the Swedish doctors. 1196 01:33:21,488 --> 01:33:23,073 These are Swedes? 1197 01:33:24,241 --> 01:33:26,035 Ah, come here. 1198 01:33:26,410 --> 01:33:29,830 Isn't that one kinda dark? 1199 01:33:30,831 --> 01:33:32,499 He's dirty from the trip! 1200 01:33:32,833 --> 01:33:34,460 Let us in. 1201 01:33:34,543 --> 01:33:36,879 - I'm not supposed to. -What are you afraid of? 1202 01:33:37,338 --> 01:33:40,049 Do you think we're gonna steal the mermaid? 1203 01:33:41,675 --> 01:33:44,261 Steal the mermaid. Stealing the mermaid! 1204 01:33:44,345 --> 01:33:46,847 Are we gonna fold her in half and put her in a briefcase? 1205 01:33:46,931 --> 01:33:48,933 In a briefcase. In half. 1206 01:33:49,475 --> 01:33:51,644 I guess it's all right. 1207 01:33:51,727 --> 01:33:53,562 Go in. Go in. 1208 01:33:53,854 --> 01:33:55,731 - Good joke, there. -Yeah. 1209 01:34:30,557 --> 01:34:32,268 - Hi. -Hi. 1210 01:34:34,186 --> 01:34:36,563 Is this the big secret you've been keeping? 1211 01:34:37,147 --> 01:34:39,608 That you're a mermaid, or is there something else? 1212 01:34:40,401 --> 01:34:41,902 No, that's it. 1213 01:34:45,114 --> 01:34:47,950 Allen, don't feel guilty. 1214 01:34:48,534 --> 01:34:49,910 Guilty? About what? 1215 01:34:50,744 --> 01:34:52,329 About not loving me anymore. 1216 01:34:54,498 --> 01:34:56,750 Oh, Madison. 1217 01:34:57,334 --> 01:35:00,963 All the time we were together, you always knew how I was feeling. 1218 01:35:02,381 --> 01:35:03,924 Can't you tell now? 1219 01:35:13,976 --> 01:35:17,062 Well, left my wife in New Orleans 1220 01:35:17,229 --> 01:35:19,315 48 kids and a can of beans 1221 01:35:19,523 --> 01:35:20,899 Left, right, one, two 1222 01:35:20,983 --> 01:35:22,401 Oh, my God! 1223 01:35:22,484 --> 01:35:24,278 - What? -Stand back, man. 1224 01:35:24,611 --> 01:35:27,448 Cover his face, for God's sake! 1225 01:35:28,115 --> 01:35:30,326 What happened? What's going on? 1226 01:35:30,451 --> 01:35:33,370 Dr. Johannsen bent down to examine that creature. 1227 01:35:33,454 --> 01:35:36,165 And suddenly these rays came out of her eyes! 1228 01:35:36,415 --> 01:35:39,418 Don't go in there! She'll melt your face off. 1229 01:35:39,626 --> 01:35:41,712 I knew something would happen. What should I do? 1230 01:35:41,795 --> 01:35:44,214 Don't whine. Seal off the area. 1231 01:35:44,298 --> 01:35:45,507 I'll call the Pentagon. 1232 01:35:45,632 --> 01:35:48,218 Are you crazy? You want to create a national panic? 1233 01:35:48,302 --> 01:35:50,179 I don't want to die! 1234 01:35:50,262 --> 01:35:51,638 Pull yourself together. 1235 01:35:51,722 --> 01:35:53,891 Don't let anybody in that room. 1236 01:35:53,974 --> 01:35:57,186 I'll be back with nuclear weapons. Come on, Doctor. 1237 01:36:25,005 --> 01:36:27,216 Good afternoon, Dr. Ross. Who are your guests? 1238 01:36:27,299 --> 01:36:29,843 Drs. Jarred and Johannsen from the Swedish Institute. 1239 01:36:30,677 --> 01:36:32,012 Sir? 1240 01:36:32,721 --> 01:36:36,683 Dr. Kornbluth left with the Swedes a few minutes ago. 1241 01:36:44,525 --> 01:36:47,444 Hiya, boys. Come in. The water's fine. 1242 01:36:50,656 --> 01:36:54,326 Let's get her back, now! And arrest him. 1243 01:37:09,425 --> 01:37:12,678 We have a blue BMW Over. 1244 01:37:36,076 --> 01:37:37,995 --Come on. 1245 01:37:38,912 --> 01:37:41,707 Know something? I don't think we're being followed. 1246 01:37:42,291 --> 01:37:44,918 Wha... Well, that was easy. 1247 01:37:45,252 --> 01:37:47,921 That was simple! We did it! 1248 01:37:48,589 --> 01:37:50,841 - My plan. - You're a genius. 1249 01:37:50,924 --> 01:37:53,677 I am a genius, but you came in with the Swedish thing. 1250 01:37:53,760 --> 01:37:56,555 That was a brilliant touch. 1251 01:37:57,514 --> 01:37:59,475 I didn't even like you when we first met. 1252 01:37:59,558 --> 01:38:01,810 Nobody likes me when they first meet me. 1253 01:38:03,854 --> 01:38:05,063 Allen? 1254 01:38:13,113 --> 01:38:15,240 - Move! -All right. Here we go! 1255 01:38:31,965 --> 01:38:34,176 Suspect heading south on Broadway. 1256 01:39:06,833 --> 01:39:10,337 Unit One. Lost them in the Wall Street district. Over. 1257 01:39:14,258 --> 01:39:15,300 - Stop the car. -What? 1258 01:39:15,384 --> 01:39:18,262 Stop and let me out. I'll slow them down. Do it! 1259 01:39:25,185 --> 01:39:28,230 I caused all this. Now I'm gonna finish it. 1260 01:39:37,364 --> 01:39:38,907 Get the hell out of here. 1261 01:39:39,741 --> 01:39:41,034 Go! 1262 01:39:58,885 --> 01:40:00,387 Whoa! Ooh. 1263 01:40:03,223 --> 01:40:05,392 What a week I'm having! 1264 01:40:20,991 --> 01:40:23,243 Hey, Mac, move that thing out of here. 1265 01:40:24,745 --> 01:40:27,039 Up yours, Gomer. I'm waitin' for a fare. 1266 01:40:34,755 --> 01:40:37,341 Heave! 1267 01:40:39,259 --> 01:40:41,011 All right. Move out. 1268 01:40:42,721 --> 01:40:44,056 Come on, let's go! 1269 01:41:10,957 --> 01:41:13,293 - I was ready to stay with you forever. -I know. 1270 01:41:13,460 --> 01:41:16,129 They know who you are. They won't leave you alone. 1271 01:41:16,797 --> 01:41:18,590 I can't ever come back to you. 1272 01:41:19,633 --> 01:41:21,301 I wish I could go with you. 1273 01:41:22,636 --> 01:41:23,762 You can. 1274 01:41:24,012 --> 01:41:26,014 - How? -It can be done. 1275 01:41:26,556 --> 01:41:30,227 Remember when you were eight and fell off the ship? 1276 01:41:30,560 --> 01:41:32,604 You were safe under the water, weren't you? 1277 01:41:33,980 --> 01:41:35,107 Yeah. 1278 01:41:35,816 --> 01:41:37,317 You were with me. 1279 01:41:39,277 --> 01:41:40,862 You mean, that was real? 1280 01:41:42,364 --> 01:41:43,865 That was you? 1281 01:41:44,825 --> 01:41:46,326 That was you! 1282 01:41:50,664 --> 01:41:52,791 This is great. This is great! 1283 01:41:52,958 --> 01:41:56,169 I can go with you and still come back and see Freddie at Christmas. 1284 01:41:58,338 --> 01:41:59,923 You can't ever come back. 1285 01:42:14,104 --> 01:42:15,605 Madison. 1286 01:42:18,650 --> 01:42:20,152 I understand. 1287 01:42:29,995 --> 01:42:33,832 You on the dock, don't move. You're under arrest. 1288 01:42:34,374 --> 01:42:38,545 Let the girl go. Step back. You're under arrest. 1289 01:42:38,712 --> 01:42:40,213 You have to go. 1290 01:42:40,672 --> 01:42:42,257 Move out. Let's go! 1291 01:42:44,009 --> 01:42:45,594 I love you, Madison. 1292 01:42:47,888 --> 01:42:49,055 Go. 1293 01:42:51,433 --> 01:42:53,226 Go! 1294 01:43:00,400 --> 01:43:02,277 Get that guy on the dock. 1295 01:43:04,321 --> 01:43:05,739 Leave her alone! 1296 01:43:08,867 --> 01:43:10,368 Leave her alone! 1297 01:43:21,421 --> 01:43:22,756 Madison. 1298 01:43:30,180 --> 01:43:31,473 Madison! 1299 01:43:42,317 --> 01:43:44,444 Stay where you are. We'll get you out. 1300 01:43:48,240 --> 01:43:50,826 Madison! 1301 01:44:38,540 --> 01:44:40,208 Ooh! 1302 01:45:12,824 --> 01:45:15,285 One fine day 1303 01:45:17,871 --> 01:45:21,374 Love came for me 1304 01:45:24,210 --> 01:45:27,672 And love was rare 1305 01:45:30,133 --> 01:45:33,887 As love can be 1306 01:45:36,056 --> 01:45:40,727 I saw stars 1307 01:45:41,728 --> 01:45:46,900 Shining in clear blue skies 1308 01:45:47,692 --> 01:45:51,488 We flowed together 1309 01:45:53,448 --> 01:45:57,452 Once and forever 1310 01:45:59,287 --> 01:46:03,458 Love came for me 1311 01:46:05,335 --> 01:46:09,005 One fine night 1312 01:46:11,091 --> 01:46:14,803 Love let us see 1313 01:46:16,972 --> 01:46:20,433 How far we'll go 1314 01:46:22,769 --> 01:46:26,439 How good we'll be 1315 01:46:28,525 --> 01:46:32,779 We saw a world 1316 01:46:33,738 --> 01:46:38,994 No one ever saw before 1317 01:46:40,245 --> 01:46:43,581 It was the world 1318 01:46:43,665 --> 01:46:46,459 Love can start 1319 01:46:47,168 --> 01:46:51,548 With a beat of a heart 1320 01:46:51,881 --> 01:46:55,885 Love came for me 1321 01:47:21,619 --> 01:47:25,248 I saw stars 1322 01:47:26,958 --> 01:47:31,671 Shining in clear blue skies 1323 01:47:32,839 --> 01:47:36,342 We flowed together 1324 01:47:38,595 --> 01:47:42,515 Once and forever 1325 01:47:44,559 --> 01:47:48,396 Love came for me 1326 01:47:50,398 --> 01:47:53,860 One fine night 1327 01:47:56,154 --> 01:47:59,866 Love let us see 1328 01:48:01,993 --> 01:48:05,705 How far we'll go 1329 01:48:07,832 --> 01:48:11,377 How good we'll be 1330 01:48:13,755 --> 01:48:17,967 We saw a world 1331 01:48:18,885 --> 01:48:24,432 No one ever saw before 1332 01:48:25,391 --> 01:48:28,686 It was the world 1333 01:48:28,770 --> 01:48:31,564 Love can start 1334 01:48:32,398 --> 01:48:36,903 With a beat of a heart 1335 01:48:37,237 --> 01:48:40,907 Love came for me 1336 01:48:42,951 --> 01:48:47,080 Love came for me 1337 01:48:48,790 --> 01:48:52,669 Love came for me