1
00:02:51,746 --> 00:02:54,476
-Terry?
-Denise, why aren't you in Science?
2
00:02:54,649 --> 00:02:57,982
They're showing a filmstrip,
everyone left. l have to talk to you.
3
00:02:58,152 --> 00:03:01,519
-l'm really into this article.
-l know, but l need your advice...
4
00:03:01,689 --> 00:03:05,125
...and you are my best friend,
and l tried to deal with it myself...
5
00:03:05,293 --> 00:03:07,261
...and l'm really stressed out!
6
00:03:07,428 --> 00:03:10,864
Three guys wanna take me out,
l'm not too thrilled by any of them...
7
00:03:11,032 --> 00:03:15,196
...but think l should go in case l don't
have a real boyfriend by the prom.
8
00:03:15,369 --> 00:03:19,806
-Okay, who are the guys?
-lf l give you names, you cannot laugh.
9
00:03:19,974 --> 00:03:23,375
l know, you have
the perfect college boyfriend.
10
00:03:23,544 --> 00:03:27,571
-You think Kevin's perfect?
-He's a god, okay?
11
00:03:27,749 --> 00:03:31,651
Can we talk about me now?
Where was l?
12
00:03:31,819 --> 00:03:36,688
Bruce Shulman, Edward Zink
and Roger Gibbler.
13
00:03:36,858 --> 00:03:39,918
-This is serious.
-l know.
14
00:03:40,561 --> 00:03:46,625
All right, on a scale of lame to cute
who rates the least low?
15
00:03:47,301 --> 00:03:48,791
They're all lame.
16
00:03:48,970 --> 00:03:52,599
Put Roger in a rent-a-tux,
he might move up to semi-lame.
17
00:03:53,374 --> 00:03:55,774
Okay, forget looks,
who's got the hottest car?
18
00:03:55,943 --> 00:04:00,175
A Pinto, dad's Skylark
and a Schwinn.
19
00:04:00,515 --> 00:04:03,040
Looks like you're gonna have
to skip the prom.
20
00:04:03,217 --> 00:04:07,085
Hey. Hey, everybody.
Listen up! Hey.
21
00:04:07,255 --> 00:04:10,349
A lot of you've been giving me
grief about this Sun-Tribune...
22
00:04:10,525 --> 00:04:12,220
...journalism competition.
23
00:04:12,393 --> 00:04:15,021
Well, l finally got
all of your submissions read.
24
00:04:15,196 --> 00:04:17,289
Now, during my planning period...
25
00:04:17,465 --> 00:04:20,195
...l picked the best two,
and then from those...
26
00:04:20,368 --> 00:04:24,930
...and from those submitted by
your pals over at Sturgis-Wilder.
27
00:04:27,975 --> 00:04:29,408
Thank you.
28
00:04:29,577 --> 00:04:33,172
The Trib will pick one and award
somebody a summer internship.
29
00:04:33,347 --> 00:04:34,644
Okay?
30
00:04:34,816 --> 00:04:39,651
l'll post the names of the winners in
the trophy case after l finish my lunch.
31
00:04:39,821 --> 00:04:42,051
Tuna salad on whole wheat.
32
00:04:45,226 --> 00:04:48,286
A summer job at the Sun-Tribune,
think about it.
33
00:04:48,462 --> 00:04:52,193
l'll think about that, you think about me
at the prom with a lizard.
34
00:04:52,366 --> 00:04:54,960
-l think you're exaggerating.
-Hi, Denise!
35
00:04:55,136 --> 00:04:57,900
Are you busy Saturday night?
36
00:04:58,139 --> 00:04:59,629
Sorry.
37
00:05:08,416 --> 00:05:09,906
Mr. Raymaker...
38
00:05:10,084 --> 00:05:13,053
...Mr. Vino, the driver's ed. teacher,
just ran over a dog.
39
00:05:13,221 --> 00:05:15,382
Should l take a photographer?
40
00:05:16,023 --> 00:05:17,513
No.
41
00:05:22,997 --> 00:05:25,124
What's up, Terry?
42
00:05:25,566 --> 00:05:27,830
-How's it going, Terry?
-Hi, guys.
43
00:05:28,002 --> 00:05:29,526
Hi, guys.
44
00:05:29,704 --> 00:05:31,604
Bye, guys.
45
00:05:31,772 --> 00:05:35,139
-Am l invisible?
-They were in a hurry.
46
00:05:35,309 --> 00:05:37,777
You are so hot.
47
00:05:37,945 --> 00:05:41,005
Buddy, l just ate.
48
00:05:41,649 --> 00:05:45,085
-Thanks for stopping by, Bud.
-Anytime, sis.
49
00:05:45,253 --> 00:05:48,120
Our parents are gone for two weeks.
Know what that means?
50
00:05:48,289 --> 00:05:50,757
Their king-size bed is empty.
51
00:05:51,058 --> 00:05:52,582
Well, what do you think?
52
00:05:52,760 --> 00:05:57,220
l think if you and l were
the last man and woman on Earth...
53
00:05:57,398 --> 00:05:59,866
...the human race would die out.
54
00:06:01,235 --> 00:06:05,035
You want time to think it over.
l understand.
55
00:06:05,206 --> 00:06:08,573
l have two words for you,
slumber party.
56
00:06:08,743 --> 00:06:13,043
We'll invite every girl you know:
tall, short, loose, easy.
57
00:06:13,214 --> 00:06:15,978
l'll be the bartender,
they can use my bedroom...
58
00:06:16,150 --> 00:06:18,243
...they can use my body.
59
00:06:18,419 --> 00:06:22,378
-l wanna help.
-You wanna molest my friends.
60
00:06:24,392 --> 00:06:26,360
-Forget it.
-Why?
61
00:06:26,527 --> 00:06:29,587
You'll have a party, and l'll....
62
00:06:30,998 --> 00:06:34,957
-Oh, God.
-Does he do this at the dinner table?
63
00:06:35,169 --> 00:06:38,605
Don't get me wrong,
it's not like l've never had sex before.
64
00:06:38,773 --> 00:06:43,039
l've had lots of sex. lt's just that now
l'd like to try it with a partner.
65
00:06:44,011 --> 00:06:46,479
We really have to get back
to school.
66
00:06:47,181 --> 00:06:49,411
Yes, we must get back.
67
00:06:50,017 --> 00:06:52,451
Wanna make sure
my article's in the trophy case.
68
00:06:52,620 --> 00:06:54,884
Yes, we really must get going.
69
00:06:55,056 --> 00:06:57,684
You have to get going?
l'm 1 5 years old.
70
00:06:57,858 --> 00:07:01,624
ln two years, l reach the peak
of my sexual powers.
71
00:07:01,829 --> 00:07:04,923
The clock is ticking,
l have to get jamming.
72
00:07:05,099 --> 00:07:08,262
Can't you hear
what you're saying?
73
00:07:09,103 --> 00:07:12,561
-Aren't you a little embarrassed?
-Nope, l'm horny.
74
00:07:12,740 --> 00:07:16,176
Horny will kick embarrassment's ass
every time.
75
00:07:16,344 --> 00:07:17,868
Budster, listen to me.
76
00:07:18,045 --> 00:07:21,708
Don't you want your first time
to be with someone you love?
77
00:07:21,882 --> 00:07:25,113
l guarantee you, l'll be in love.
78
00:07:25,853 --> 00:07:30,517
There's Lisa Macadoo,
l hear she'll do anything with anybody.
79
00:07:30,691 --> 00:07:34,127
She looks pretty cheap to me.
80
00:07:34,328 --> 00:07:36,353
Me too.
81
00:07:37,865 --> 00:07:41,596
l am so excited. You know this job
means, like, everything in life to me.
82
00:07:41,769 --> 00:07:43,600
l know.
Work in the sports section.
83
00:07:43,771 --> 00:07:46,171
That way we can interview
all the cute jocks.
84
00:07:46,340 --> 00:07:50,504
You are gonna be so proud of me,
l'm gonna make such a great reporter.
85
00:07:52,480 --> 00:07:55,916
-l'm not there.
-Why aren't you there?
86
00:07:57,184 --> 00:08:00,711
Neal Perlow and Joseph Dreyer?!
87
00:08:11,232 --> 00:08:14,360
And then l had Terry Griffith,
fourth period Civics.
88
00:08:14,535 --> 00:08:16,594
Did you see what she's wearing?
89
00:08:16,771 --> 00:08:19,365
The legs do not stop.
90
00:08:19,540 --> 00:08:22,168
l say we flunk her,
keep her here for another year.
91
00:08:23,944 --> 00:08:26,276
You better be careful,
you could lose your job.
92
00:08:26,447 --> 00:08:29,883
lt'd be worth it,
it's not that great a job.
93
00:08:36,724 --> 00:08:39,215
-Terry.
-What's wrong with my article?
94
00:08:40,961 --> 00:08:43,657
Well, there isn't anything
wrong with it, per se...
95
00:08:43,831 --> 00:08:45,321
...it's just...
96
00:08:45,499 --> 00:08:49,026
-...not outstanding work.
-Well, l think it is.
97
00:08:49,203 --> 00:08:52,400
What do you give me straight
A's for, my wardrobe?
98
00:08:52,940 --> 00:08:56,899
l give you the A's because
of your hard work. And you write well.
99
00:08:57,078 --> 00:09:01,037
But this contest,
it's a completely different ballgame.
100
00:09:01,215 --> 00:09:03,410
When l read those articles,
l have to ask...
101
00:09:03,584 --> 00:09:05,677
...does this person
have a nose for news?
102
00:09:05,853 --> 00:09:08,378
Do they dig out
the most interesting angle?
103
00:09:08,556 --> 00:09:11,992
So, what you're trying to tell me
is that the nutritional content...
104
00:09:12,159 --> 00:09:14,855
...of our school lunches
isn't interesting.
105
00:09:16,163 --> 00:09:19,599
Look, Terry,
l know that you're disappointed.
106
00:09:19,767 --> 00:09:22,258
But l had to pick kids
who've got a real shot...
107
00:09:22,436 --> 00:09:24,461
...at becoming
professional journalists.
108
00:09:24,638 --> 00:09:27,004
l am going to be a reporter.
109
00:09:27,541 --> 00:09:30,203
That's good.
l like that attitude.
110
00:09:30,377 --> 00:09:34,609
But don't you think it would be nice
to have something to fall back on?
111
00:09:34,782 --> 00:09:36,340
Like what?
112
00:09:36,951 --> 00:09:39,442
Well, you're a pretty girl,
you could be a model.
113
00:09:39,687 --> 00:09:41,086
Be a model?
114
00:09:41,255 --> 00:09:44,088
Why, because a pretty girl
can't possibly have a brain?
115
00:09:44,258 --> 00:09:47,284
-Look, what l meant was--
-l know what you meant!
116
00:09:47,461 --> 00:09:51,124
This is a great article
and it belongs at the Sun-Tribune.
117
00:09:51,765 --> 00:09:56,759
And you are so clueless to life,
it is really pathetic!
118
00:10:10,451 --> 00:10:13,113
Terry, it's Mr. Wonderful.
119
00:10:22,663 --> 00:10:25,291
Always when l'm busy.
120
00:10:28,569 --> 00:10:30,696
-She's in the pool.
-What took you so long?
121
00:10:30,871 --> 00:10:35,171
-l knew it was you.
-l keep forgetting how young you are.
122
00:10:35,342 --> 00:10:37,970
What a waste of a sports car.
123
00:10:45,452 --> 00:10:48,148
Listen, everything's gonna be
all right.
124
00:10:52,259 --> 00:10:54,454
How'd this get in here?
125
00:11:00,201 --> 00:11:04,535
-Why do you always tie double knots?
-Kevin, please, forget the knot.
126
00:11:04,705 --> 00:11:07,367
What l need is a little sympathy.
127
00:11:07,541 --> 00:11:11,136
l had my heart set
on that summer job.
128
00:11:11,445 --> 00:11:13,106
Terry.
129
00:11:13,614 --> 00:11:16,310
l know exactly how you feel.
130
00:11:16,850 --> 00:11:19,148
Can l tell you a little story?
131
00:11:19,853 --> 00:11:24,153
When l was a kid,
l was obsessed with being a fireman.
132
00:11:24,325 --> 00:11:28,955
l used to set little fires in the back
yard, and l'd practice putting them out.
133
00:11:29,930 --> 00:11:31,830
Then one day...
134
00:11:32,566 --> 00:11:35,865
...when l was 1 2,
l learned l could never be a fireman.
135
00:11:36,537 --> 00:11:38,266
Why, what happened?
136
00:11:38,439 --> 00:11:42,466
l found out how much money
they make. Pitiful.
137
00:11:43,477 --> 00:11:47,106
Don't you understand
that l don't care what reporters make?
138
00:11:47,281 --> 00:11:51,377
l can't remember a time when there
was anything else l wanted to do.
139
00:11:51,552 --> 00:11:55,682
And it's discouraging when Raymaker
tells me that l should become a model.
140
00:11:55,856 --> 00:11:58,518
Hey, why not?
You're a knockout.
141
00:11:58,692 --> 00:12:02,492
Besides, models make
some pretty nice bucks.
142
00:12:02,663 --> 00:12:04,563
You don't think l can do it either.
143
00:12:04,732 --> 00:12:08,930
Well, no, that's not exactly
what l said, exactly.
144
00:12:09,103 --> 00:12:11,162
Yeah, well, it was close enough.
145
00:12:11,338 --> 00:12:14,637
You know, it's lucky for you
l'm in love with you, l think...
146
00:12:15,175 --> 00:12:18,201
...or l'd probably never
speak to you again.
147
00:12:18,846 --> 00:12:20,973
l'd like to be alone, please.
148
00:12:21,148 --> 00:12:23,810
Now? Can't you be alone
when your parents are home?
149
00:12:23,984 --> 00:12:26,544
Since you haven't listened
to one word l've said...
150
00:12:26,720 --> 00:12:30,850
...why don't you try reading my lips.
Goodbye, Kevin.
151
00:12:31,025 --> 00:12:33,789
Would you rather spend the night
at the frat house?
152
00:12:39,433 --> 00:12:43,699
-All men care about is sex!
-l resent that.
153
00:12:45,472 --> 00:12:47,531
Big improvement, huh?
154
00:12:47,708 --> 00:12:50,006
The room needed something.
155
00:12:50,177 --> 00:12:54,170
Your room is why my life
is totally screwed up.
156
00:12:54,348 --> 00:12:59,149
You guys think beautiful women are
nothing but decoration, total airheads.
157
00:12:59,320 --> 00:13:00,912
Hey, not me.
158
00:13:01,088 --> 00:13:04,524
These women
have my deepest respect.
159
00:13:05,225 --> 00:13:07,785
For showing their boobs?
160
00:13:08,128 --> 00:13:10,289
And for their minds.
161
00:13:10,464 --> 00:13:15,265
lt just so happens that Kim here
reads Vonnegut in her bubble bath.
162
00:13:15,436 --> 00:13:17,961
And Luanne has dedicated
her centerfold...
163
00:13:18,138 --> 00:13:20,538
...to help clean up toxic waste.
164
00:13:20,708 --> 00:13:25,270
And the only reason Barbara does
her physics homework buck-naked...
165
00:13:25,446 --> 00:13:27,971
...is because that library's hot.
166
00:13:29,283 --> 00:13:31,046
Come on, Buddy, admit it...
167
00:13:31,218 --> 00:13:35,211
...you would love to spend your entire
life just using women's bodies.
168
00:13:35,389 --> 00:13:37,482
Yeah, all but the last 60 seconds.
169
00:13:38,459 --> 00:13:40,757
l'd like a little time to reminisce.
170
00:13:41,295 --> 00:13:44,594
Can't you think of anything
more profound than getting laid?
171
00:13:44,765 --> 00:13:46,665
A blowjob?
172
00:13:47,968 --> 00:13:51,734
-Hey, l'm sorry.
-This is the perfect end to my day.
173
00:13:51,905 --> 00:13:54,738
l mean, it's as if women's lib
never existed.
174
00:13:54,908 --> 00:13:59,777
Today's woman has the freedom to be
just as sick and perverted as us guys.
175
00:13:59,947 --> 00:14:01,938
Oh, that's wonderful.
176
00:14:02,116 --> 00:14:06,610
l mean, l write an excellent article,
and just because l'm cute...
177
00:14:06,787 --> 00:14:09,779
...no one takes me seriously.
lt's not fair!
178
00:14:09,957 --> 00:14:13,393
And yet, somehow
you find the courage to go on living.
179
00:14:13,560 --> 00:14:15,687
You got guts.
180
00:14:15,863 --> 00:14:18,297
Sometimes l just wish l were a guy.
181
00:14:19,066 --> 00:14:20,328
No, you don't.
182
00:14:20,501 --> 00:14:24,403
The male body needs sex at all times.
lt's a living hell.
183
00:14:25,139 --> 00:14:30,133
l bet if a guy turned in the same article
it would be at the Sun-Tribune now.
184
00:14:30,310 --> 00:14:32,210
Yeah, no kidding.
185
00:14:33,213 --> 00:14:35,704
Hey, does Miss April
look straight?
186
00:14:43,190 --> 00:14:46,785
What are the odds of this being
a homeless nymphomaniac?
187
00:14:48,395 --> 00:14:50,795
-ls your sister home?
-Yeah.
188
00:14:50,964 --> 00:14:53,489
Hey, Terry, you got company.
189
00:14:56,703 --> 00:14:58,193
Terry?
190
00:15:00,574 --> 00:15:03,702
Why am l brain damaged?
l just fooled my own brother.
191
00:15:03,877 --> 00:15:07,711
Hey, l wasn't paying attention.
Now l am. Hello, Terry.
192
00:15:07,881 --> 00:15:10,349
l think l can pull this off.
193
00:15:10,517 --> 00:15:14,385
This morning l knew her.
l talked to her, she screamed at me...
194
00:15:14,555 --> 00:15:18,548
...everything was great.
Now she's wearing my clothes.
195
00:15:18,725 --> 00:15:22,161
-Who do you think you are, Tootsie?
-No.
196
00:15:22,329 --> 00:15:26,493
Okay, Yentl,
what do you wanna be, a rabbi?
197
00:15:27,401 --> 00:15:29,562
Just tell me what's wrong.
198
00:15:29,736 --> 00:15:31,226
Really?
199
00:15:33,707 --> 00:15:36,608
Okay, well....
200
00:15:37,945 --> 00:15:39,640
Look how you're standing.
201
00:15:39,813 --> 00:15:41,906
l mean, drop your hands.
202
00:15:42,082 --> 00:15:44,209
Okay, now stick your hip in.
203
00:15:44,384 --> 00:15:46,545
All right,
now move your feet apart.
204
00:15:46,753 --> 00:15:50,211
Okay.
Guys take up space.
205
00:15:50,691 --> 00:15:52,784
All right,
now you gotta look tougher.
206
00:15:53,393 --> 00:15:56,658
Very crucial,
something every guy does...
207
00:15:56,830 --> 00:15:59,321
...let me see you
scratch your balls.
208
00:15:59,833 --> 00:16:02,301
Hey, come on, try it.
209
00:16:07,608 --> 00:16:09,633
Wait a minute.
210
00:16:09,810 --> 00:16:12,005
Watch the master.
211
00:16:12,179 --> 00:16:15,410
Now first, there's your basic shift.
212
00:16:19,820 --> 00:16:21,447
But that's not always enough.
213
00:16:21,622 --> 00:16:25,718
Sometimes you've got to get inside,
dig a little, let some air in...
214
00:16:25,893 --> 00:16:27,485
...move things around.
215
00:16:28,095 --> 00:16:30,893
Yeah, well, maybe
my balls don't itch.
216
00:16:31,598 --> 00:16:34,328
All balls itch, it's a fact.
217
00:16:35,335 --> 00:16:37,565
Well, maybe this would help.
218
00:16:44,378 --> 00:16:46,243
Not bad.
219
00:16:48,549 --> 00:16:51,712
Shit, maybe l should try that.
220
00:16:51,885 --> 00:16:54,979
Okay, let's see you walk.
221
00:16:56,089 --> 00:16:57,954
Hold it!
222
00:16:59,459 --> 00:17:03,190
Look, you got balls now, use them.
223
00:17:04,464 --> 00:17:05,954
Say, baby, what's happening?
224
00:17:06,133 --> 00:17:09,432
l'm a lean, mean sex machine,
and that be the way it is.
225
00:17:09,603 --> 00:17:13,039
Say, baby, what's happening?
l'm a lean, mean sex machine...
226
00:17:13,206 --> 00:17:16,607
...and that be the way it is.
227
00:17:16,777 --> 00:17:19,245
l think you'll pass
as long as you don't move.
228
00:17:20,013 --> 00:17:21,503
l'm gonna do it.
229
00:17:21,682 --> 00:17:25,641
l'm going to take that article to
Sturgis-Wilder and submit it as a guy.
230
00:17:25,819 --> 00:17:30,256
lt makes perfect sense.
Got a problem, you get in drag.
231
00:17:30,424 --> 00:17:33,484
You don't think l can do it,
do you?
232
00:17:35,996 --> 00:17:37,725
No way.
233
00:17:37,898 --> 00:17:40,628
But l'd love to see you try.
234
00:18:19,239 --> 00:18:21,207
Hey, how you doing?
235
00:18:21,441 --> 00:18:23,807
We'll talk more later.
236
00:18:25,379 --> 00:18:27,745
There you go.
Keep lifting those weights.
237
00:18:27,914 --> 00:18:32,044
Once you're into power-blitzing,
doing super-sets is like jerking off.
238
00:18:32,653 --> 00:18:34,951
The key is to work out
every possible minute.
239
00:18:35,122 --> 00:18:37,488
Like, say you don't have any weights.
240
00:18:37,658 --> 00:18:39,751
You use freshmen.
241
00:18:40,527 --> 00:18:42,518
l'm serious.
Excuse me!
242
00:18:42,696 --> 00:18:44,823
This'll just take a minute.
243
00:18:45,399 --> 00:18:47,765
Okay, get a good grip...
244
00:18:48,135 --> 00:18:49,762
...bend your knees and lift.
245
00:18:50,270 --> 00:18:54,070
One, two. One, two.
246
00:18:54,908 --> 00:18:58,810
Hey, no pain, no gain.
This is great for the deltoids.
247
00:18:58,979 --> 00:19:02,244
-Thanks, kid.
-Happy to help.
248
00:19:12,259 --> 00:19:14,227
Who invited you?
249
00:19:15,896 --> 00:19:17,488
l'm new here.
250
00:19:17,664 --> 00:19:20,155
Just what we need, another pussy.
251
00:19:22,436 --> 00:19:25,803
Strong as an ox,
and almost as smart.
252
00:19:29,443 --> 00:19:33,504
Another good exercise for upper body
strength, the pussy toss for distance.
253
00:19:33,680 --> 00:19:36,547
Hey, get off me!
Get off me right-- Get off!
254
00:19:39,086 --> 00:19:42,180
Watch the prickers.
Damn.
255
00:19:48,361 --> 00:19:50,124
Great bunch of guys.
256
00:19:50,297 --> 00:19:52,424
l see you met Greg Tolan.
257
00:19:52,599 --> 00:19:54,931
He kind of runs the school.
258
00:19:57,571 --> 00:19:59,835
l'm Rick Morehouse.
259
00:20:01,842 --> 00:20:04,276
Try not to get us confused.
260
00:20:09,583 --> 00:20:13,883
Willie, will you give us a synopsis
of Catcher in the Rye?
261
00:20:20,761 --> 00:20:24,697
Catcher in the Rye, a novel
written by the earthling Salinger...
262
00:20:24,865 --> 00:20:29,495
...that every adolescent Homo sapien
in America is forced to read....
263
00:20:29,669 --> 00:20:31,398
You didn't read it, did you?
264
00:20:31,571 --> 00:20:36,634
Our mission on your planet
is to study human behavioral patterns.
265
00:20:36,810 --> 00:20:41,679
Last night, we simulated a daily
teenage ritual, homework avoidance.
266
00:20:41,848 --> 00:20:45,375
We consumed large quantities
of fermented hops and were...
267
00:20:45,552 --> 00:20:49,488
...transformed into degenerate
party animal head-bangers.
268
00:20:51,825 --> 00:20:55,158
-Can l go to the restroom, please?
-Three minutes.
269
00:20:55,328 --> 00:20:57,853
l don't care what galaxy
you two are from.
270
00:20:58,031 --> 00:21:01,091
You've been pulling this routine
for three years.
271
00:21:01,268 --> 00:21:04,203
You'll be here another year
if you don't straighten up.
272
00:21:04,371 --> 00:21:07,101
l want that homework now.
273
00:21:09,910 --> 00:21:12,811
The Earth woman seems so tense.
274
00:21:13,013 --> 00:21:14,503
lrritable.
275
00:21:14,681 --> 00:21:16,478
Too much coffee.
276
00:21:16,650 --> 00:21:18,709
Not enough sex.
277
00:22:20,981 --> 00:22:22,949
Just finished.
278
00:22:23,516 --> 00:22:25,074
l care.
279
00:22:34,928 --> 00:22:38,193
Low-budget
pud-sucking dick nose!
280
00:22:50,610 --> 00:22:52,942
Way to go, big Ter.
281
00:23:13,700 --> 00:23:16,464
Table pressing.
Good for strength and definition.
282
00:23:22,142 --> 00:23:24,133
Full extension is very important.
283
00:23:37,891 --> 00:23:40,121
No pain, no gain.
284
00:24:15,362 --> 00:24:19,992
-Got you!
-Keep your face out of my locker.
285
00:24:30,143 --> 00:24:33,408
-Coach Morrison?
-One moment, son.
286
00:24:40,086 --> 00:24:42,247
Bowling, a great game.
287
00:24:42,922 --> 00:24:44,253
The greatest.
288
00:24:44,424 --> 00:24:46,289
But it's more than a game.
289
00:24:46,459 --> 00:24:48,859
lt's the ultimate challenge.
290
00:24:49,229 --> 00:24:50,856
One man...
291
00:24:51,131 --> 00:24:52,860
...one ball...
292
00:24:53,099 --> 00:24:55,761
...ten pins.
293
00:24:55,935 --> 00:24:59,166
-Ten frames too.
-Exactly!
294
00:24:59,706 --> 00:25:02,641
See, coach, l just transferred here
from another school...
295
00:25:02,809 --> 00:25:06,745
...so l don't have my gym clothes yet,
so l guess l'll just go to study hall.
296
00:25:06,913 --> 00:25:08,540
Hold it!
297
00:25:09,916 --> 00:25:12,680
Everyone dresses
for my gym class.
298
00:25:13,119 --> 00:25:14,711
Everyone.
299
00:25:15,088 --> 00:25:16,112
Great.
300
00:25:16,656 --> 00:25:20,319
l have surprise jock inspections
three times a week.
301
00:25:20,493 --> 00:25:22,552
A word to the wise:
302
00:25:22,896 --> 00:25:24,796
Wear it.
303
00:25:33,606 --> 00:25:36,336
Hey, yo, Mark,
throw me a towel, huh?
304
00:25:36,509 --> 00:25:41,105
-Willie, l hate gym. l really hate gym.
-l really hate gym a lot.
305
00:25:41,281 --> 00:25:43,306
l don't like the smell.
306
00:25:48,755 --> 00:25:50,416
Excuse me.
307
00:25:58,398 --> 00:26:00,161
Oh, it's spreading!
308
00:26:00,333 --> 00:26:02,927
Have you ever seen anything
like this?
309
00:26:03,503 --> 00:26:04,902
Never.
310
00:26:05,071 --> 00:26:08,040
-Early shower squad!
-Get the new kid!
311
00:26:14,380 --> 00:26:16,905
Get off me!
Get off me!
312
00:27:43,436 --> 00:27:44,835
Everybody out! Fire!
313
00:27:45,004 --> 00:27:49,668
Calm, collected!
Take only essential materials!
314
00:27:54,581 --> 00:27:57,709
-Hey, get out of my way!
-There's a fire drill.
315
00:28:00,720 --> 00:28:05,748
We have a saboteur
in our gym class!
316
00:28:06,092 --> 00:28:08,617
A real scum.
317
00:28:09,362 --> 00:28:11,660
A nimrod!
318
00:28:12,465 --> 00:28:16,401
Whoever started that fire...
319
00:28:17,303 --> 00:28:21,034
...is a human gutter ball.
320
00:28:21,908 --> 00:28:24,308
A zero!
321
00:28:26,579 --> 00:28:29,241
Sherbecoe, how many times
have l told you...
322
00:28:29,415 --> 00:28:32,384
...no creatures in my gym class?
323
00:28:32,552 --> 00:28:35,521
lf l left him in the locker,
the alligators would eat him.
324
00:28:35,688 --> 00:28:40,648
You get rid of it, or l'll get rid of it.
325
00:28:43,463 --> 00:28:48,594
lt's all right. lt's okay. He's just
a little upset. Don't worry about it.
326
00:28:50,470 --> 00:28:55,430
Sit. Sit. Stay. Good boy.
Good boy.
327
00:28:55,608 --> 00:28:57,633
Okay, l'll be back soon for you.
328
00:28:58,411 --> 00:29:00,675
l'll take Willie if you take Phil.
329
00:29:00,847 --> 00:29:03,680
Okay, come on, guys.
330
00:29:13,159 --> 00:29:15,024
Okay.
331
00:29:15,194 --> 00:29:17,287
Shirts!
Skins!
332
00:29:17,463 --> 00:29:20,159
Shirts!
Skins!
333
00:29:20,967 --> 00:29:23,492
-All right, let's play some ball.
-Yeah.
334
00:29:31,010 --> 00:29:33,501
Got a problem, son?
335
00:29:33,680 --> 00:29:38,481
Stomach, shooting pains!
l ate in the cafeteria!
336
00:29:38,651 --> 00:29:41,586
Come on, tough it out!
337
00:29:41,754 --> 00:29:46,191
When life rolls you a 7-1 0 split,
what do you do?
338
00:29:46,359 --> 00:29:47,986
Go to the nurse?
339
00:29:48,161 --> 00:29:52,029
No! Hell, no! You aim for
that seven pin and let her rip!
340
00:29:56,636 --> 00:30:01,403
All right. All right.
The rest of you pinheads play ball!
341
00:30:06,746 --> 00:30:10,944
-This is good work.
-l knew it. Thanks, Mr. Mendosa.
342
00:30:11,117 --> 00:30:14,416
But l can't send it
to the Sun-Tribune.
343
00:30:14,587 --> 00:30:17,488
-What'd you say?
-Can't send it.
344
00:30:17,657 --> 00:30:23,095
Your writing skills are fine,
but, man, this stuff is really boring.
345
00:30:24,330 --> 00:30:28,130
You gotta grab the reader!
Goose them a little.
346
00:30:28,735 --> 00:30:30,225
Right...
347
00:30:30,670 --> 00:30:31,864
...goose them.
348
00:30:32,038 --> 00:30:35,769
Just because you're a guy doesn't
mean you can't write with sensitivity...
349
00:30:35,942 --> 00:30:38,877
...with feeling, with heart.
350
00:30:39,712 --> 00:30:41,942
But you do show promise.
351
00:30:42,115 --> 00:30:43,446
Look.
352
00:30:43,616 --> 00:30:46,551
l'm not gonna choose the winners
until a week from Monday.
353
00:30:46,719 --> 00:30:49,882
So think of something exciting.
Try again.
354
00:30:53,092 --> 00:30:55,117
Yeah, well...
355
00:30:55,294 --> 00:30:56,886
...thanks.
356
00:31:05,671 --> 00:31:08,196
Terry, I hate
when you're depressed.
357
00:31:08,374 --> 00:31:14,244
l mean, if you're this upset
over your life, l should be suicidal.
358
00:31:14,414 --> 00:31:16,644
l mean, look what Kevin sent you!
359
00:31:17,183 --> 00:31:20,277
l'd do anything to come home
and find roses.
360
00:31:21,020 --> 00:31:23,784
Can we define
the word ''anything''?
361
00:31:24,724 --> 00:31:28,125
Maybe Raymaker was right
about my article.
362
00:31:28,294 --> 00:31:31,525
But l know l can do better.
363
00:31:31,697 --> 00:31:33,460
l'm just confused.
364
00:31:33,633 --> 00:31:37,262
Of course you're confused,
you're wearing my underwear.
365
00:31:38,971 --> 00:31:43,305
Terry, forget it.
Come back to Pearl.
366
00:31:43,476 --> 00:31:48,209
So you got a bad haircut. You got
a great life and a fabulous boyfriend.
367
00:31:48,381 --> 00:31:49,871
l can't give up.
368
00:31:50,049 --> 00:31:52,574
And today was a disaster,
and l was a major geek...
369
00:31:52,752 --> 00:31:55,084
...but they all thought l was a guy.
370
00:31:55,254 --> 00:31:57,222
l was in the boys' locker room.
371
00:31:57,390 --> 00:31:58,516
-You were?
-Yes.
372
00:31:58,691 --> 00:32:00,090
-And they were?
-Yes.
373
00:32:00,259 --> 00:32:02,159
Can l be your younger brother?
374
00:32:02,728 --> 00:32:04,320
There's a story here.
375
00:32:04,497 --> 00:32:08,263
l don't know what, but l've got until
a week from Monday to find it.
376
00:32:08,434 --> 00:32:14,236
Hey, what about, ''Girl Gets
in Locker Room, Turns Stupid''?
377
00:32:17,443 --> 00:32:20,810
l can still win that job.
l'm gonna go to Sturgis-Wilder...
378
00:32:20,980 --> 00:32:24,108
...and l'm gonna start making
any friends l can find.
379
00:32:24,617 --> 00:32:28,246
What if Kevin finds out you were in
the boys' locker room?
380
00:32:28,421 --> 00:32:32,983
Would Woodward and Bernstein
worry about their girlfriends?
381
00:32:33,593 --> 00:32:34,924
No.
382
00:32:35,094 --> 00:32:39,394
Anyway, Kevin will never find out.
383
00:32:39,565 --> 00:32:41,396
Unless l tell him.
384
00:32:41,567 --> 00:32:46,129
Which l would never do
as long as Denise cooperates.
385
00:32:46,739 --> 00:32:48,366
Denise?
386
00:32:48,541 --> 00:32:50,975
When pigs fly.
387
00:32:52,144 --> 00:32:55,079
Never hurts to ask.
388
00:32:59,886 --> 00:33:02,616
lt's driving me crazy!
l looked everywhere!
389
00:33:02,788 --> 00:33:05,655
l can't find the back of my earring.
390
00:33:05,825 --> 00:33:10,455
What am l supposed to do,
walk around all day with one earring?
391
00:33:10,630 --> 00:33:11,619
lt's so punk.
392
00:33:11,797 --> 00:33:14,561
All you gotta do is break
the eraser off a pencil...
393
00:33:14,734 --> 00:33:18,261
...and use it to hold your earring.
lt'll get you through the day.
394
00:33:18,437 --> 00:33:20,803
Oh, thanks.
395
00:33:26,078 --> 00:33:28,911
l have sisters.
396
00:33:44,230 --> 00:33:47,757
We're in the cafeteria, everything
eats and is eaten by something.
397
00:33:47,934 --> 00:33:51,301
Don't take it personally.
Remember when l--
398
00:33:51,804 --> 00:33:54,136
Hi, l'm Terry Griffith.
399
00:33:54,307 --> 00:33:57,435
Hi, l'm Harold ''Reptile'' Sherbecoe.
400
00:33:57,610 --> 00:34:00,204
lt's time to feed Snowball his lunch.
401
00:34:01,380 --> 00:34:03,678
Oh, Snowball, he's cute.
402
00:34:03,849 --> 00:34:07,341
Oh, that's not Snowball.
No, this is Snowball.
403
00:34:08,354 --> 00:34:10,254
That's lunch.
404
00:34:11,524 --> 00:34:13,685
They don't make snake chow.
405
00:34:13,859 --> 00:34:17,556
-lt was very nice meeting you.
-Nice meeting you too.
406
00:34:18,631 --> 00:34:20,622
Want some company?
407
00:34:20,800 --> 00:34:23,166
Want some company?
408
00:34:24,070 --> 00:34:27,506
-Want some company?
-Yeah, sure.
409
00:34:30,910 --> 00:34:33,208
l'm Terry Griffith.
410
00:34:34,013 --> 00:34:37,005
l'm sorry, l forgot your name.
411
00:34:37,183 --> 00:34:39,674
-Rick Morehouse.
-Oh, yeah, that's it.
412
00:34:39,852 --> 00:34:43,083
Last time we met,
l was in some bushes.
413
00:34:43,255 --> 00:34:45,553
Right, big fun being
the new kid, huh?
414
00:34:45,725 --> 00:34:47,420
Are you new?
415
00:34:47,593 --> 00:34:51,029
Two months ago.
Actually, l'm a professional new kid.
416
00:34:51,197 --> 00:34:54,394
Seven schools in three years,
l really know how to register.
417
00:34:54,567 --> 00:34:55,864
Excuse me?
418
00:34:56,369 --> 00:34:59,566
Hi, thanks, it worked great.
419
00:35:00,206 --> 00:35:02,197
He knew how to fix my earring.
420
00:35:02,375 --> 00:35:05,139
That's because he's a little tulip.
421
00:35:07,647 --> 00:35:10,013
You know Deborah Strowbridge?
422
00:35:10,182 --> 00:35:12,116
Not really.
423
00:35:12,284 --> 00:35:14,479
But l mean, she talked to you.
424
00:35:14,654 --> 00:35:17,088
Deborah Strowbridge is perfection.
425
00:35:17,256 --> 00:35:19,816
Well, it seems to me
like she's got a boyfriend.
426
00:35:19,992 --> 00:35:22,654
Yeah, well, there's no accounting
for taste.
427
00:35:22,828 --> 00:35:24,989
-So are you a senior?
-Yeah.
428
00:35:25,164 --> 00:35:26,893
You going to college?
429
00:35:27,066 --> 00:35:30,467
Well, l like music, and l'd like
to do something in that field...
430
00:35:30,636 --> 00:35:33,469
...but l'm not sure
you have to go to school for it.
431
00:35:33,639 --> 00:35:35,129
l dig music a lot too.
432
00:35:35,307 --> 00:35:39,835
l like the Clash and Talking Heads
and Springsteen and Prince.
433
00:35:40,012 --> 00:35:41,377
Yeah, that's pretty cool.
434
00:35:41,547 --> 00:35:43,174
Listen to this.
435
00:35:48,287 --> 00:35:50,721
Look, what a fox.
436
00:35:50,890 --> 00:35:55,384
Dresses like Elvis Costello,
looks like the Karate Kid.
437
00:35:55,828 --> 00:35:58,729
l'm gonna get him.
438
00:36:00,800 --> 00:36:04,201
Severe intestinal disorder.
439
00:36:05,171 --> 00:36:08,004
What's the matter,
you have a little tummy ache?
440
00:36:08,174 --> 00:36:10,540
What are you, a pussy?
441
00:36:16,982 --> 00:36:21,351
My doctor said that l should be okay
by a week from Monday...
442
00:36:21,520 --> 00:36:24,512
...so l guess
l'll just go to study hall.
443
00:36:24,690 --> 00:36:26,817
No, you won't.
444
00:36:28,227 --> 00:36:31,390
l have a little job for you, son.
445
00:36:39,672 --> 00:36:41,731
Here you go.
446
00:36:42,408 --> 00:36:44,774
Hey, knock yourself out.
447
00:36:45,778 --> 00:36:48,440
You look like
you could use two.
448
00:36:48,614 --> 00:36:51,048
Dragon coming through,
watch your toes.
449
00:36:51,217 --> 00:36:54,050
Come on, Fifi, don't dawdle.
Come on.
450
00:36:58,924 --> 00:37:00,687
What are you looking at?
451
00:37:00,860 --> 00:37:02,589
Nothing.
452
00:37:02,762 --> 00:37:04,730
Tulip.
453
00:37:05,131 --> 00:37:06,826
Hi.
454
00:37:07,333 --> 00:37:09,301
lt's me.
455
00:37:10,002 --> 00:37:12,061
Nice to see you.
456
00:37:13,472 --> 00:37:16,703
Hi, l'm Sandy.
457
00:37:17,209 --> 00:37:19,734
-Terry.
-l know.
458
00:37:19,912 --> 00:37:22,904
That's an incredible tie.
Where did you get it?
459
00:37:23,082 --> 00:37:26,017
-At a store.
-Bitchen.
460
00:37:27,386 --> 00:37:30,150
l guess if you're new,
you don't have a girlfriend.
461
00:37:30,322 --> 00:37:32,813
Yeah, well, l got one back home.
462
00:37:32,992 --> 00:37:35,324
Long-distance relationship?
463
00:37:35,895 --> 00:37:36,919
Good luck.
464
00:37:37,096 --> 00:37:40,190
Yo, Rick, you want a ride home?
465
00:37:41,901 --> 00:37:43,232
Sure.
466
00:37:43,402 --> 00:37:47,304
Yeah, well, gotta go, Sandy,
so l guess l'll see you around.
467
00:37:47,840 --> 00:37:49,865
Yeah, you will.
468
00:37:55,548 --> 00:37:57,709
She's pretty nice.
469
00:37:58,217 --> 00:38:00,082
Yeah, but l got this one rule.
470
00:38:00,252 --> 00:38:02,880
l never go out with girls
who say ''bitchen.''
471
00:38:10,696 --> 00:38:13,028
Pull up right here, this is fine.
472
00:38:17,169 --> 00:38:19,000
Thanks for the ride.
473
00:38:19,171 --> 00:38:21,662
Well, what are you doing now?
474
00:38:21,841 --> 00:38:23,832
Nothing.
Did you want to come in?
475
00:38:24,009 --> 00:38:28,605
Well, l was just gonna tune up my car
and maybe play a little football...
476
00:38:28,781 --> 00:38:31,113
...but yeah, l got time.
477
00:38:31,450 --> 00:38:32,849
Okay.
478
00:38:48,367 --> 00:38:52,861
lf my mom comes home from work
and asks you about my girlfriend...
479
00:38:53,038 --> 00:38:54,471
...just so you know...
480
00:38:54,640 --> 00:38:58,269
...her name is Alice and she looks
a lot like Chrissy Evert Lloyd.
481
00:38:59,111 --> 00:39:02,012
l just don't want her to worry
about my social life.
482
00:39:02,181 --> 00:39:04,513
Yeah, but Chris Evert Lloyd?
483
00:39:04,917 --> 00:39:07,442
lt was Wimbledon week.
You want a beer?
484
00:39:07,620 --> 00:39:10,350
Yeah, l'll take a brewski.
485
00:39:19,531 --> 00:39:22,056
So you don't really have a girlfriend?
486
00:39:22,401 --> 00:39:23,891
You guessed it.
487
00:39:24,069 --> 00:39:26,902
-What about the prom?
-What about it?
488
00:39:27,072 --> 00:39:29,302
Well, you know, sounds all right.
489
00:39:29,475 --> 00:39:33,036
''Passion in Paradise.''
You're renting out that big surf place.
490
00:39:33,212 --> 00:39:34,406
Don't you want to go?
491
00:39:34,580 --> 00:39:38,880
Yeah, but it's kind of a romantic night.
l'd rather not go with my mom.
492
00:39:39,051 --> 00:39:42,145
Well, did you ask anyone?
493
00:39:43,322 --> 00:39:44,880
Well, you better get going.
494
00:39:45,057 --> 00:39:48,117
-Who's your first choice?
-You ask a lot of questions.
495
00:39:48,294 --> 00:39:51,661
Rick, we're rapping man-to-man
about chicks and shit like that.
496
00:39:51,830 --> 00:39:54,128
You know, like, still a virgin?
497
00:39:54,300 --> 00:39:56,097
l don't know.
498
00:39:56,268 --> 00:39:59,203
You don't know?
Weren't you paying attention?
499
00:39:59,371 --> 00:40:02,602
-Are you a virgin?
-No.
500
00:40:02,775 --> 00:40:05,107
Have you slept with a lot of girls?
501
00:40:05,277 --> 00:40:09,145
-No. Have you ever slept with a girl?
-Yeah.
502
00:40:09,315 --> 00:40:12,876
-Well, all right, let's hear the story.
-lt's no big deal.
503
00:40:13,052 --> 00:40:14,713
Just after my dad died...
504
00:40:14,887 --> 00:40:18,550
...this friend of my mom's,
l think she wanted to cheer me up.
505
00:40:18,724 --> 00:40:21,215
She did.
506
00:40:23,062 --> 00:40:24,461
ls that your room?
507
00:40:24,630 --> 00:40:27,895
Wait a minute, don't go in there.
lt's kind of messy.
508
00:40:32,805 --> 00:40:34,796
This is different.
509
00:40:34,974 --> 00:40:36,965
l'm kind of into James Brown.
510
00:40:37,643 --> 00:40:39,042
l guess so.
511
00:40:39,211 --> 00:40:42,374
Prince, Michael Jackson,
it all goes back to James Brown.
512
00:40:42,548 --> 00:40:44,038
The godfather of soul.
513
00:40:44,216 --> 00:40:47,379
Not to mention Mr. Humanitarian,
Mr. Dynamite...
514
00:40:47,553 --> 00:40:50,351
...and the hardest-working man
in show business.
515
00:40:50,522 --> 00:40:53,320
New York City, live,
the Apollo Theater, 1 962.
516
00:40:53,492 --> 00:40:55,153
This man was king.
517
00:40:55,327 --> 00:40:58,990
-Well, let's hear some sounds.
-l don't think so.
518
00:40:59,164 --> 00:41:03,260
-Stereo broken?
-No, it's just something l do by myself.
519
00:41:03,435 --> 00:41:05,903
Well, when l hear James,
l have to dance.
520
00:41:06,071 --> 00:41:09,040
You know, like James,
go crazy, l can't help it.
521
00:41:09,208 --> 00:41:12,837
And l'm usually alone when l do it.
522
00:41:13,012 --> 00:41:15,037
That's cool, man. l can respect that.
523
00:41:15,214 --> 00:41:17,876
How about another brewski, okay?
524
00:41:18,050 --> 00:41:20,018
Okay.
525
00:41:22,121 --> 00:41:27,058
Budster, the refrigerator gives
new meaning to the word ''empty.''
526
00:41:27,226 --> 00:41:31,595
Hey, don't worry about breakfast.
This stuff tastes great cold.
527
00:41:31,764 --> 00:41:35,564
You agreed to do half the shopping
while Mom and Dad were gone.
528
00:41:35,734 --> 00:41:38,259
Yeah, that's right, the second half.
529
00:41:38,437 --> 00:41:41,270
l'll tell you what,
l'll do the dishes.
530
00:41:49,214 --> 00:41:50,977
Thank you.
531
00:41:54,053 --> 00:41:56,487
l can see myself.
532
00:41:58,223 --> 00:41:59,815
l'll get it.
533
00:42:01,727 --> 00:42:03,217
Hello?
534
00:42:03,395 --> 00:42:07,126
Hey, yo, scumbag.
Hey, suck your own.
535
00:42:07,833 --> 00:42:09,095
Eat me.
536
00:42:10,836 --> 00:42:13,532
Hey, same to you, butt face.
537
00:42:15,574 --> 00:42:17,940
Mom says hi.
538
00:42:36,895 --> 00:42:39,261
Yo, Rick, how they hanging?
539
00:42:40,599 --> 00:42:42,362
lt's Terry.
540
00:42:43,669 --> 00:42:46,297
l want you to wear something
really hip tomorrow.
541
00:42:46,472 --> 00:42:49,202
We're gonna get you
a date for the prom.
542
00:42:49,374 --> 00:42:51,740
Just do what l say.
543
00:42:52,244 --> 00:42:56,078
Okay, yeah. Bye-bye.
544
00:42:56,248 --> 00:42:57,840
Scumbag.
545
00:42:58,817 --> 00:43:01,081
Shit, he hung up.
546
00:43:08,694 --> 00:43:13,631
This is your idea of hip,
a guy who is into James Brown?
547
00:43:13,799 --> 00:43:17,166
Could we please just forget
the whole thing?
548
00:43:17,336 --> 00:43:20,601
Now, there is no reason
why you should miss that prom.
549
00:43:20,772 --> 00:43:23,764
A girl would be crazy
to turn you down.
550
00:43:23,942 --> 00:43:27,708
So come on, who is she?
551
00:43:29,748 --> 00:43:32,012
Red sweater.
552
00:43:33,952 --> 00:43:36,352
Cute shoes.
553
00:43:38,524 --> 00:43:40,424
Go for it.
554
00:43:42,161 --> 00:43:44,959
Just waltz right up there
and ask her out?
555
00:43:45,130 --> 00:43:48,657
No, you gotta say something nice...
556
00:43:48,834 --> 00:43:51,803
...like, how pretty her eyes are.
557
00:43:51,970 --> 00:43:55,235
-Girls eat up that crap.
-Come on.
558
00:44:08,954 --> 00:44:12,117
-Hi, Jeanine.
-Hi.
559
00:44:12,291 --> 00:44:16,159
-l'm forgetting your name.
-Rick Morehouse.
560
00:44:16,328 --> 00:44:19,388
You know, l sit right next to you
in Civics class.
561
00:44:27,306 --> 00:44:29,968
You have beautiful eyes.
562
00:44:33,779 --> 00:44:35,940
l'll bet.
563
00:44:37,082 --> 00:44:40,518
Do you have a date for the prom?
564
00:44:40,686 --> 00:44:42,620
Of course, it's next week, why?
565
00:44:44,056 --> 00:44:48,152
Official prom committee survey,
thank you very much.
566
00:44:49,695 --> 00:44:51,663
Terry.
567
00:44:55,067 --> 00:44:58,400
This has got to be the one.
You know why?
568
00:44:58,570 --> 00:45:01,698
Because l've asked everybody else.
569
00:45:01,873 --> 00:45:05,138
No, because l've got this feeling.
570
00:45:05,310 --> 00:45:09,303
True, l've had this feeling before,
but this time....
571
00:45:16,088 --> 00:45:20,320
Beth, are you doing anything
prom night?
572
00:45:20,492 --> 00:45:22,756
l'm going to the prom.
573
00:45:23,262 --> 00:45:25,492
Saturday night.
574
00:45:25,664 --> 00:45:27,996
-What about Saturday?
-l'm busy.
575
00:45:28,166 --> 00:45:30,794
-Tonight?
-l'm busy.
576
00:45:30,969 --> 00:45:32,664
-How about Sunday?
-l'm busy.
577
00:45:32,838 --> 00:45:36,296
-How about any night in 1 98 7?
-l'm busy.
578
00:45:36,675 --> 00:45:38,142
I'm sorry.
579
00:45:38,310 --> 00:45:41,404
How about yesterday?
Are you busy yesterday?
580
00:45:41,580 --> 00:45:44,481
l think so,
but you can ask me out again.
581
00:45:47,686 --> 00:45:50,280
-Hi, Terry.
-Oh, hey, Sandy.
582
00:45:50,455 --> 00:45:52,923
Word's out your friend's
desperate for a date.
583
00:45:53,091 --> 00:45:55,924
He would love my cousin, Jill.
She's cute.
584
00:45:57,696 --> 00:45:59,891
-How cute?
-Extremely.
585
00:46:00,065 --> 00:46:04,263
She's got, like, Joan Collins' eyes,
Christy Brinkley's teeth.
586
00:46:06,371 --> 00:46:09,101
What about the rest of her?
587
00:46:11,043 --> 00:46:13,307
Dynamite. Rick has to meet her.
588
00:46:13,478 --> 00:46:17,847
How about if you and me and Rick and
Jill all meet up at the cave tonight?
589
00:46:18,016 --> 00:46:20,246
We'll have a picnic.
590
00:46:23,088 --> 00:46:24,385
Come on, we'll have fun.
591
00:46:26,458 --> 00:46:30,360
This Jill better be some girl.
592
00:46:49,548 --> 00:46:52,517
Buddy, can l borrow
your Army jacket?
593
00:46:54,086 --> 00:46:56,418
What are you doing?
594
00:46:56,588 --> 00:46:58,818
Just cleaning the house.
595
00:46:58,990 --> 00:47:00,890
Budster, are you all right?
596
00:47:02,260 --> 00:47:05,593
l am awesome.
597
00:47:06,498 --> 00:47:09,194
Linda is on her way over.
598
00:47:11,536 --> 00:47:14,164
Excuse me, Mr. Romance,
just out of curiosity...
599
00:47:14,339 --> 00:47:18,799
...does this girl have any idea
she's coming over to light up your life?
600
00:47:18,977 --> 00:47:21,468
Well, technically speaking, not really.
601
00:47:21,646 --> 00:47:24,171
We'll probably start off
with some algebra...
602
00:47:24,916 --> 00:47:28,044
...but once l turn on the charm,
she's mine.
603
00:47:29,388 --> 00:47:31,822
Hand me that massage book, please.
604
00:47:32,324 --> 00:47:34,758
Bud, why don't you take
the subtle approach?
605
00:47:34,926 --> 00:47:38,885
Maybe hang a couple of salamis
from the ceiling.
606
00:47:39,498 --> 00:47:42,296
At least my date is someone
of the opposite sex.
607
00:47:44,136 --> 00:47:46,570
l'm just seeing Sandy for Rick.
608
00:47:46,738 --> 00:47:49,002
For Rick, what happened to research?
609
00:47:49,174 --> 00:47:50,801
Well, that's what l meant.
610
00:47:50,976 --> 00:47:54,935
So for research, you're willing to toy
with this poor girl's emotions?
611
00:47:55,113 --> 00:47:58,048
All you transvestites are alike.
612
00:47:58,216 --> 00:48:00,684
You disgust me.
613
00:48:00,852 --> 00:48:04,310
But of course,
that isn't the real problem here.
614
00:48:04,489 --> 00:48:06,650
Oh, really, what is?
615
00:48:06,825 --> 00:48:08,417
This woman's hot for you.
616
00:48:08,593 --> 00:48:11,357
What if she goes nuts
and tears your clothes off?
617
00:48:11,530 --> 00:48:15,432
That's what Craig Garfield said
Roxanne Doyle did.
618
00:48:16,201 --> 00:48:18,601
-Yeah, what do l do then?
-Call me.
619
00:48:18,770 --> 00:48:20,738
l can be there in 1 5 minutes.
620
00:48:23,108 --> 00:48:26,908
Wait, you can't call me.
ln fact, you can't come home.
621
00:48:28,280 --> 00:48:31,010
You'll have to sleep in the cave.
622
00:48:32,984 --> 00:48:35,282
The cave.
623
00:48:35,454 --> 00:48:38,184
Oh, God.
624
00:48:47,399 --> 00:48:50,766
l want to make a toast
to my good friend, Rick...
625
00:48:50,936 --> 00:48:53,962
...a guy with a great sense of humor.
626
00:48:54,139 --> 00:48:56,437
And here's to summer.
627
00:48:56,608 --> 00:49:00,442
l swear, sixth grade is so bogus,
it's a joke.
628
00:49:09,221 --> 00:49:13,089
Wanna take a walk?
l think they need some privacy.
629
00:49:13,258 --> 00:49:17,126
Jill, you animal, you.
630
00:49:17,295 --> 00:49:19,126
Come on.
631
00:49:21,666 --> 00:49:24,658
Hey, wait, where you going?
632
00:49:24,836 --> 00:49:26,804
Hey, man, don't leave me now.
633
00:49:31,209 --> 00:49:33,803
You kids have fun, huh?
634
00:49:35,580 --> 00:49:36,842
They left me.
635
00:49:37,015 --> 00:49:39,347
lt's okay, l'm still here.
636
00:49:40,151 --> 00:49:44,019
Sandy, you tricked me bad.
637
00:49:45,390 --> 00:49:49,417
You know, in five years,
Jill's going to make him very happy.
638
00:49:49,594 --> 00:49:51,721
Yeah, l'm sure.
639
00:49:53,532 --> 00:49:55,557
-Nice fire.
-Sandy, this is--
640
00:49:55,734 --> 00:49:56,723
Don't talk.
641
00:49:56,935 --> 00:49:59,233
Sandy, this is a big mistake.
642
00:50:00,138 --> 00:50:03,369
Maybe, maybe not.
There's only one way to find out.
643
00:50:03,542 --> 00:50:05,169
Sandy. Sandy, really.
644
00:50:05,343 --> 00:50:07,334
Sandy, get out of there!
645
00:50:10,482 --> 00:50:15,010
There really is
a very good explanation for that.
646
00:50:15,186 --> 00:50:16,380
l'm flattered.
647
00:50:17,322 --> 00:50:18,346
You are?
648
00:50:18,523 --> 00:50:20,889
But you don't have to do this
to impress me.
649
00:50:21,059 --> 00:50:23,186
-l don't?
-No.
650
00:50:23,361 --> 00:50:25,090
l like you a lot.
651
00:50:26,598 --> 00:50:28,532
l'll take one of those beers now.
652
00:50:28,700 --> 00:50:31,931
lt's okay. l mean, how small can it be?
653
00:50:32,771 --> 00:50:34,329
Don't ask.
654
00:50:34,973 --> 00:50:36,497
More cold duck?
655
00:50:36,675 --> 00:50:38,905
Sure, hit me again.
656
00:50:39,077 --> 00:50:41,773
lf l give you 5 bucks,
would you go see a movie?
657
00:50:41,947 --> 00:50:45,974
Terry promised she'd be home tonight.
l'm not leaving until l see her.
658
00:50:46,151 --> 00:50:49,245
lf l give you 1 0 bucks,
would you go wait in your car?
659
00:50:49,421 --> 00:50:53,187
We're on number 22.
Let's keep going.
660
00:50:56,795 --> 00:50:58,524
Bummer.
661
00:50:59,764 --> 00:51:02,733
''lf the coefficient of X
is greater than that of Y...
662
00:51:02,901 --> 00:51:06,462
...and the coefficient of Y
is greater than that of C...
663
00:51:06,638 --> 00:51:08,265
...then what can be said...
664
00:51:08,440 --> 00:51:11,967
...about the coefficient of X
in relation to the coefficient of C?''
665
00:51:24,122 --> 00:51:25,783
Hold it.
666
00:51:27,759 --> 00:51:30,023
lt's time Kevin knew the truth.
667
00:51:30,996 --> 00:51:35,524
Terry moved to Oregon to join a
religious cult she saw on 60 Minutes.
668
00:51:37,502 --> 00:51:39,800
lt's all in the letter.
669
00:51:41,106 --> 00:51:43,939
You should go home
and wait for her, Kevin.
670
00:51:44,109 --> 00:51:46,236
Wait, two more problems.
671
00:51:46,411 --> 00:51:48,845
-''lf the coefficient of--''
-Hi, Kevin.
672
00:51:49,280 --> 00:51:51,942
Terry, back from the cult.
673
00:51:52,117 --> 00:51:53,846
Where the hell have you been?
674
00:51:56,287 --> 00:51:58,619
You're gonna laugh.
675
00:51:59,491 --> 00:52:03,222
l was upstairs looking for this skirt...
676
00:52:03,561 --> 00:52:06,553
...and l fell asleep in the closet.
677
00:52:07,399 --> 00:52:09,230
What did you do to your hair?
678
00:52:10,235 --> 00:52:12,260
Oh, l cut it.
679
00:52:12,437 --> 00:52:15,167
-lsn't it cute?
-Cute? lt's gone!
680
00:52:16,274 --> 00:52:18,071
What are you, drunk?
681
00:52:20,045 --> 00:52:21,706
You are, you're drunk.
682
00:52:21,880 --> 00:52:24,872
What's going on here?
We're supposed to get together.
683
00:52:25,050 --> 00:52:30,317
Kevin. Honey. Angel.
684
00:52:32,424 --> 00:52:35,552
l'll make it up to you, l promise.
685
00:52:35,727 --> 00:52:37,718
When, tonight?
686
00:52:38,596 --> 00:52:41,030
-Let me tuck you in.
-l can't tonight.
687
00:52:41,199 --> 00:52:44,566
l'm working very hard on my article.
688
00:52:45,670 --> 00:52:47,433
But l'll tell you what.
689
00:52:49,074 --> 00:52:52,009
l'll walk you out to the car, okay?
690
00:52:52,844 --> 00:52:56,575
Gee, a walk to the car.
Talk about your wild nights.
691
00:52:57,215 --> 00:53:00,912
lt's okay, because while you were
up in the closet getting drunk...
692
00:53:01,086 --> 00:53:02,951
...l got to do algebra!
693
00:53:03,121 --> 00:53:05,851
That's wonderful.
694
00:53:08,693 --> 00:53:10,320
Crazy kids.
695
00:53:10,495 --> 00:53:13,259
Well, alone at last.
696
00:53:13,431 --> 00:53:15,626
Why are you smiling like that?
697
00:53:15,800 --> 00:53:17,461
Because it's party time!
698
00:53:17,635 --> 00:53:20,103
Let's dance! Let's great crazy!
699
00:53:20,271 --> 00:53:23,240
Let's get drunk! Let's get naked!
700
00:53:23,408 --> 00:53:27,037
Buddy, l love a good party,
but something about you worries me.
701
00:53:27,212 --> 00:53:28,440
Linda, you're a nut.
702
00:53:28,613 --> 00:53:31,411
Skinny dip in the pool,
back rub in the bedroom?
703
00:53:31,583 --> 00:53:34,245
Pick a sin, any sin.
704
00:53:34,419 --> 00:53:36,387
lt's getting kind of late.
705
00:53:36,554 --> 00:53:38,385
No, it's early.
706
00:53:38,923 --> 00:53:40,652
-Bye.
-Linda, wait.
707
00:53:40,825 --> 00:53:42,759
For God's sake, l vacuumed, Linda!
708
00:53:42,927 --> 00:53:44,656
Buddy, you're a nice guy.
709
00:53:44,829 --> 00:53:47,957
No, not a nice guy.
That's the kiss of death.
710
00:53:48,133 --> 00:53:50,624
l'll see you in algebra.
Thanks for your help.
711
00:53:50,802 --> 00:53:52,099
Linda, wait!
712
00:53:52,270 --> 00:53:56,263
Would it make any difference at all
if l said l was hung like a bear?
713
00:53:56,441 --> 00:53:58,136
lt might. Are you?
714
00:53:59,277 --> 00:54:01,871
No, just checking.
715
00:54:02,046 --> 00:54:04,241
Goodbye, Buddy.
716
00:54:05,583 --> 00:54:08,313
l like your hair.
717
00:54:11,356 --> 00:54:14,848
That girl had incredible self-control.
718
00:54:15,293 --> 00:54:18,319
Kevin hates me, Rick hates me.
719
00:54:18,496 --> 00:54:21,124
Everybody hates me except Sandy.
720
00:54:21,299 --> 00:54:23,733
Oh, yeah, how'd it go?
Did you get laid?
721
00:54:23,902 --> 00:54:26,530
l bet l came closer than you did.
722
00:54:26,704 --> 00:54:31,698
Years from now, Linda will look back
on this night and be very sorry.
723
00:54:34,078 --> 00:54:35,943
Good night, Buddy.
724
00:54:37,215 --> 00:54:39,513
Sorry, Spike.
725
00:54:41,753 --> 00:54:43,482
Nothing much, Ma.
726
00:54:43,655 --> 00:54:45,316
l did good on my history test.
727
00:54:45,490 --> 00:54:47,185
Terry's become a transsexual.
728
00:54:47,358 --> 00:54:49,656
She's starting to grow hair
on her chest.
729
00:54:49,828 --> 00:54:50,988
Yeah, just a second.
730
00:54:51,162 --> 00:54:53,187
Hey, Mom wants to talk to you.
731
00:54:55,233 --> 00:54:56,632
She can't talk, Mom.
732
00:54:56,801 --> 00:54:58,826
The doctor advised her
not to speak.
733
00:54:59,003 --> 00:55:01,733
Something hormonal and vocal.
734
00:55:01,906 --> 00:55:03,567
Besides, she's hung-over.
735
00:55:03,741 --> 00:55:05,936
Yeah, she was out drinking
with the guys.
736
00:55:06,110 --> 00:55:08,374
Okay, see you in a week.
737
00:55:08,546 --> 00:55:10,514
We miss you too.
738
00:55:10,682 --> 00:55:12,650
Okay, bye.
739
00:55:13,084 --> 00:55:15,382
She thought l was kidding.
740
00:55:16,454 --> 00:55:18,479
Yo, Rick!
741
00:55:20,792 --> 00:55:21,884
Hi, Terry.
742
00:55:22,060 --> 00:55:25,154
-Good morning, Mrs. Morehouse.
-Rick, Terry's here.
743
00:55:32,570 --> 00:55:35,266
-Sorry about last night.
-Hey, that's okay.
744
00:55:35,440 --> 00:55:38,637
lf l was in the sixth grade,
l would have had a big night.
745
00:55:38,810 --> 00:55:40,903
-Come on, we're going out.
-Let me guess.
746
00:55:41,446 --> 00:55:44,677
You got me a hot date
with Sandy's grandmother.
747
00:55:44,849 --> 00:55:47,113
No, listen,
l figured the whole thing out.
748
00:55:47,285 --> 00:55:51,051
There is nothing wrong with you
except for the way you dress.
749
00:55:51,222 --> 00:55:55,124
Terry, it took me an hour
to put this look together.
750
00:55:55,293 --> 00:55:57,784
Yeah, so don't try so hard
next time. Come on.
751
00:55:57,962 --> 00:55:59,224
l don't have any money.
752
00:55:59,397 --> 00:56:02,298
l've got plastic.
You can pay me back.
753
00:56:05,336 --> 00:56:07,270
l just feel kind of weird.
754
00:56:07,438 --> 00:56:09,929
That's because your body's
not used to style.
755
00:56:10,108 --> 00:56:11,803
You'll adjust.
756
00:56:11,976 --> 00:56:13,534
Hey, Deborah, what's shaking?
757
00:56:13,711 --> 00:56:14,837
Hi, Terry.
758
00:56:15,013 --> 00:56:16,913
-Hi.
-Rick.
759
00:56:17,081 --> 00:56:18,776
Yeah, l know.
760
00:56:18,950 --> 00:56:20,713
You look a little different.
761
00:56:20,885 --> 00:56:23,353
Kid went shopping, got a haircut.
762
00:56:23,521 --> 00:56:25,250
Welcome to the '80s.
763
00:56:25,423 --> 00:56:28,256
-Very sharp.
-Thanks.
764
00:56:28,426 --> 00:56:31,862
Deb, what are you doing hanging
around these chump stains?
765
00:56:32,030 --> 00:56:34,328
-Come on, let's go.
-l'll be right there.
766
00:56:34,499 --> 00:56:37,935
-Now, Deborah.
-Just a second.
767
00:56:41,272 --> 00:56:44,571
Greg just likes to act tough.
He doesn't really hate you guys.
768
00:56:44,742 --> 00:56:48,303
Oh, that's no act.
He truly hates us.
769
00:56:49,047 --> 00:56:50,912
Deep down, he's insecure.
770
00:56:51,082 --> 00:56:53,778
Yeah, well, upfront he's an asshole.
771
00:56:54,519 --> 00:56:57,215
Take it easy, Deborah.
772
00:56:59,624 --> 00:57:02,923
What was that, a pity stop?
773
00:57:25,550 --> 00:57:28,417
lt's just about showtime, boys.
774
00:57:39,731 --> 00:57:41,858
l'm picking up curious life readings.
775
00:57:42,033 --> 00:57:43,660
-ls it human?
-Unknown.
776
00:57:43,835 --> 00:57:46,702
lt seems to be some sort of
carbon-based douche bag.
777
00:57:52,176 --> 00:57:55,077
Gentlemen, relax. Sit down.
778
00:57:55,246 --> 00:57:58,647
Too much stress,
it's not good for your muscles.
779
00:58:00,118 --> 00:58:02,586
Have a nice lunch.
780
00:58:07,759 --> 00:58:09,886
Hey, how you doing?
781
00:58:10,061 --> 00:58:11,528
Nice jacket.
782
00:58:13,698 --> 00:58:17,361
Oh, l'm sorry. Spaghetti too.
783
00:58:17,535 --> 00:58:19,503
l think it stains.
784
00:58:30,048 --> 00:58:31,349
Did l miss something?
785
00:58:31,349 --> 00:58:32,976
Did l miss something?
786
00:58:33,751 --> 00:58:35,878
Why didn't you slug
that asshole anyway?
787
00:58:36,054 --> 00:58:39,490
-He said he was sorry.
-And you believe him?
788
00:58:40,425 --> 00:58:42,256
Benefit of the doubt.
789
00:58:42,427 --> 00:58:45,863
Besides, the guy can lift cars.
790
00:58:46,697 --> 00:58:49,962
-What are you doing?
-What's it look like l'm doing?
791
00:58:51,002 --> 00:58:52,833
Do you have to do that in here?
792
00:58:53,004 --> 00:58:56,667
Felt like the right time,
certainly the right place.
793
00:58:56,841 --> 00:58:59,207
Terry, is this a problem for you?
794
00:59:00,211 --> 00:59:02,645
No, no problem at all.
795
00:59:02,814 --> 00:59:05,146
l was just kidding.
796
00:59:07,952 --> 00:59:11,888
lt's just that you look so nice today.
797
00:59:12,790 --> 00:59:14,781
You were perfect.
798
00:59:17,762 --> 00:59:21,027
Hey, isn't this great?
799
00:59:21,199 --> 00:59:22,962
lsn't what great?
800
00:59:23,134 --> 00:59:26,035
Well, you know, here we are...
801
00:59:26,204 --> 00:59:29,662
...a couple of guys
hanging out in the men's room...
802
00:59:29,841 --> 00:59:35,040
...leaning up against the urinals,
talking about broads and fights.
803
00:59:35,213 --> 00:59:38,307
Just like a couple of guys, you know?
804
00:59:38,483 --> 00:59:41,247
This is what you call
typical male bonding.
805
00:59:41,419 --> 00:59:45,617
You know, like Butch Cassidy
and the Sundance Kid.
806
00:59:45,790 --> 00:59:50,454
So that's what it is. Yeah, that's great.
l'm glad you told me.
807
00:59:50,628 --> 00:59:54,359
l just wish that Greg Tolan
would join the gang.
808
00:59:54,532 --> 00:59:56,762
Oh, man, l've had it with that jerk.
809
00:59:56,934 --> 01:00:00,836
You want to know about Greg Tolan?
l'll tell you about Greg Tolan.
810
01:00:01,005 --> 01:00:04,406
Greg Tolan is toast.
811
01:00:05,243 --> 01:00:08,076
He can't get away with this.
We gotta get him back.
812
01:00:08,246 --> 01:00:09,804
We and what army?
813
01:00:09,981 --> 01:00:13,747
No violence.
No need to sink to his level.
814
01:00:13,918 --> 01:00:18,821
You see, we have something
that Greg Tolan will never have:
815
01:00:19,557 --> 01:00:20,854
lntelligence.
816
01:00:21,959 --> 01:00:23,620
You know, you're right.
817
01:00:23,794 --> 01:00:27,321
l mean, we're smart.
Okay, Terry, what do we do?
818
01:00:27,632 --> 01:00:31,466
-l don't know.
-Me neither. Oh, boy.
819
01:00:37,642 --> 01:00:39,701
Hey, man, this stuff will kill you.
820
01:00:39,877 --> 01:00:42,345
Try this, you'll live longer.
821
01:00:44,182 --> 01:00:46,013
Thanks.
822
01:00:46,484 --> 01:00:47,815
Looks good.
823
01:00:47,985 --> 01:00:50,852
-l made it myself.
-Gonna finish those fries?
824
01:00:51,022 --> 01:00:52,284
-Buddy?
-Thanks.
825
01:00:52,456 --> 01:00:55,823
-What are you doing here?
-Looking for you.
826
01:00:56,861 --> 01:00:59,853
Rick, this my younger brother,
Buddy.
827
01:01:00,031 --> 01:01:01,692
How you doing?
828
01:01:01,866 --> 01:01:05,324
So this is Rick?
829
01:01:05,636 --> 01:01:07,627
l've heard a lot about you.
830
01:01:08,539 --> 01:01:10,234
A lot.
831
01:01:10,408 --> 01:01:11,898
Buddy, what do you want?
832
01:01:12,510 --> 01:01:15,638
Guess who came by to pick you up
for school this morning?
833
01:01:15,813 --> 01:01:17,041
Your true love.
834
01:01:18,416 --> 01:01:22,546
Kevina. Kevina was very upset
that you left without her.
835
01:01:22,720 --> 01:01:27,680
You know how she worships your
rippling muscles and your hairy chest.
836
01:01:28,359 --> 01:01:31,226
Terry's such a stallion.
837
01:01:31,696 --> 01:01:33,254
Go on.
838
01:01:33,464 --> 01:01:34,863
Show him your hairy chest.
839
01:01:35,833 --> 01:01:37,357
Buddy.
840
01:01:38,202 --> 01:01:41,763
Anyway, Kevina made me promise
to tell you she's picking you up...
841
01:01:41,939 --> 01:01:44,271
...for dinner 7:30 sharp.
842
01:01:44,609 --> 01:01:47,237
So you should
look your handsomest.
843
01:01:48,346 --> 01:01:50,746
Thanks for the message, Bud.
844
01:01:52,083 --> 01:01:53,948
My pleasure.
845
01:01:54,151 --> 01:01:55,846
Well...
846
01:01:56,787 --> 01:01:59,688
...l'm gonna scope out
the local babes.
847
01:02:01,492 --> 01:02:03,824
Hey, Rick, stay real.
848
01:02:03,995 --> 01:02:05,724
Take it easy.
849
01:02:06,764 --> 01:02:09,790
You have a girlfriend
named Kevina?
850
01:02:09,967 --> 01:02:13,528
-Rather exotic, isn't it?
-Stallion.
851
01:02:31,222 --> 01:02:32,814
Hi.
852
01:02:33,891 --> 01:02:35,950
Can l be totally honest with you?
853
01:02:36,127 --> 01:02:39,654
Your touch is the reason
why l went through puberty.
854
01:02:43,567 --> 01:02:45,194
Sit down.
855
01:02:46,737 --> 01:02:51,265
Guys, l just want to apologize
about neglecting you yesterday.
856
01:02:51,442 --> 01:02:56,379
l felt terrible, and l just want you
to know you're still my favorite.
857
01:02:57,948 --> 01:02:59,575
Sit down.
858
01:03:00,518 --> 01:03:03,612
Man, Terry,
this crap has gotta stop.
859
01:03:03,788 --> 01:03:05,551
What are you gonna do?
860
01:03:07,358 --> 01:03:08,620
Excuse me.
861
01:03:08,793 --> 01:03:12,058
Can l have your attention, please?
Your attention?
862
01:03:15,533 --> 01:03:17,194
Every day at lunch...
863
01:03:17,368 --> 01:03:20,565
...we get a very special treat...
864
01:03:20,738 --> 01:03:22,831
...from a very special guy.
865
01:03:23,007 --> 01:03:26,534
A guy who has dedicated his life...
866
01:03:26,711 --> 01:03:28,303
...to building his body...
867
01:03:28,612 --> 01:03:32,207
...pushing his muscles
to the very limits of human endurance.
868
01:03:32,383 --> 01:03:34,943
Why, you ask? Why?
869
01:03:35,119 --> 01:03:40,182
Well, to be strong enough to lift tables
and spill food. Greg Tolan!
870
01:03:47,431 --> 01:03:49,365
Whoa, wait.
871
01:03:50,234 --> 01:03:52,759
Let's take a moment now
to find out a little bit...
872
01:03:52,937 --> 01:03:55,997
...about the man behind the mask.
873
01:03:56,240 --> 01:03:58,401
Greg. May l call you Greg?
874
01:03:58,576 --> 01:04:04,242
Now tell us, Greg, how did you
first get into spilling food?
875
01:04:04,415 --> 01:04:06,474
Were you a messy baby?
876
01:04:08,486 --> 01:04:10,147
Did you hate your strained peas?
877
01:04:11,822 --> 01:04:15,280
Well, you know, most psychologists
tell us that guys...
878
01:04:15,459 --> 01:04:20,226
...well, they get into bodybuilding to
compensate for either a lack of lQ...
879
01:04:20,398 --> 01:04:21,763
...or a small wienie.
880
01:04:22,133 --> 01:04:23,794
Which is it, Greg?
881
01:04:23,968 --> 01:04:27,995
Well, those of us
in Greg's gym class...
882
01:04:28,172 --> 01:04:31,437
...certainly know the answer
to that one.
883
01:04:31,842 --> 01:04:34,003
l'm gonna beat the shit out of you!
884
01:04:34,178 --> 01:04:35,770
Greg, please!
885
01:04:35,980 --> 01:04:41,213
Hey, isn't he great?
Muscles and a sense of humor!
886
01:04:44,088 --> 01:04:48,286
Well, let's all thank Greg for the many
lunchtime thrills and spills...
887
01:04:48,459 --> 01:04:51,860
...he's given us. All right, everybody,
up! Come on, everybody, up!
888
01:04:52,029 --> 01:04:53,758
Grab the end of your tables!
889
01:04:53,931 --> 01:04:56,058
A tribute to you, Greg.
890
01:04:56,233 --> 01:04:58,133
Lift!
891
01:05:04,074 --> 01:05:05,905
We love you, Greg.
892
01:05:06,076 --> 01:05:09,603
Everybody out! Go on outside!
893
01:05:11,649 --> 01:05:12,911
Now!
894
01:05:13,083 --> 01:05:16,211
-Hold it, clown!
-Come on, Greg. Greg, not now.
895
01:05:16,387 --> 01:05:18,821
lt was a joke, people laughed.
Let it slide.
896
01:05:18,989 --> 01:05:21,423
-Stay out of this.
-l am getting real bored...
897
01:05:21,592 --> 01:05:23,719
-...watching you push people around.
-Yeah?
898
01:05:23,894 --> 01:05:27,261
-Stick around, it'll get real exciting.
-You know, Terry was right.
899
01:05:27,431 --> 01:05:30,229
-You are an asshole.
-That asshole called me an asshole?
900
01:05:30,401 --> 01:05:33,996
-Oh, now you wanna beat him up too?
-No, l wanna buy him an ice cream.
901
01:05:46,484 --> 01:05:49,317
Can't you ever just be man enough
to walk away?
902
01:05:49,487 --> 01:05:52,149
Watch, l'll show you how it's done.
903
01:05:54,625 --> 01:05:56,718
You got some pudding on your shoes.
904
01:05:56,994 --> 01:05:59,296
You were outstanding! Phenomenal!
So who you gonna ask?
905
01:05:59,296 --> 01:06:00,285
You were outstanding! Phenomenal!
So who you gonna ask?
906
01:06:00,464 --> 01:06:02,989
-Don't start this.
-You're practically a celebrity.
907
01:06:03,167 --> 01:06:05,863
l'm having a really great day.
Please, don't spoil it.
908
01:06:06,036 --> 01:06:07,867
We've gone too far to stop now.
909
01:06:08,038 --> 01:06:12,975
Just ask one more person, anybody.
And then l swear l'll shut up.
910
01:06:16,146 --> 01:06:19,081
-Anybody?
-Anybody.
911
01:06:27,291 --> 01:06:29,088
This is....
912
01:06:29,860 --> 01:06:32,556
This is gonna sound crazy, but...
913
01:06:32,730 --> 01:06:35,597
...what the heck, you know,
it's been a crazy day.
914
01:06:36,000 --> 01:06:38,491
Would you like to go with me
to the prom?
915
01:06:39,570 --> 01:06:41,435
Yeah, l'd love to.
916
01:06:43,007 --> 01:06:45,066
l don't think you
understood the question--
917
01:06:45,242 --> 01:06:48,734
The prom?
l'd love to be your date.
918
01:06:53,083 --> 01:06:54,846
Hi, Terry.
919
01:06:56,253 --> 01:06:58,551
l'm going with Deborah?
920
01:07:02,660 --> 01:07:04,389
l'm going with Deborah.
921
01:07:06,397 --> 01:07:08,763
That's really wonderful.
922
01:07:08,933 --> 01:07:10,696
See, what did l tell you?
923
01:07:10,868 --> 01:07:12,392
You're a great guy.
924
01:07:12,736 --> 01:07:17,002
lt's about time
some lucky girl figured it out.
925
01:07:17,174 --> 01:07:20,575
-Let's double. Who you going with?
-Oh, l don't know if l'm going.
926
01:07:20,778 --> 01:07:23,406
You've got to, come on. Sandy.
927
01:07:23,581 --> 01:07:25,776
Oh, no way, man,
that chick is dangerous.
928
01:07:25,950 --> 01:07:28,111
-l don't need to go.
-Yes, you do.
929
01:07:28,285 --> 01:07:30,378
After all you've done for me...
930
01:07:30,688 --> 01:07:32,781
...we've gotta get you a date.
931
01:07:33,724 --> 01:07:37,387
Because, Terry, l'm not going
unless you're going too.
932
01:07:37,561 --> 01:07:40,257
l mean it, l'll tell Deborah right now.
933
01:07:42,900 --> 01:07:45,198
l think l know who to ask.
934
01:07:46,670 --> 01:07:48,194
Okay!
935
01:07:51,909 --> 01:07:55,310
l was wondering, do you have plans
yet for Saturday night?
936
01:07:55,546 --> 01:07:57,377
l'm not sure.
937
01:07:57,915 --> 01:08:00,907
Either l'm jetting to Paris...
938
01:08:01,085 --> 01:08:03,383
...or watching The Love Boat.
939
01:08:07,491 --> 01:08:09,220
Denise.
940
01:08:11,328 --> 01:08:13,762
Will you be my date at the prom?
941
01:08:14,531 --> 01:08:17,398
You are so sexually confused.
942
01:08:17,568 --> 01:08:21,868
-Please, just say you'll go with me.
-Why would you wanna go?
943
01:08:22,039 --> 01:08:24,234
Because l promised Rick.
944
01:08:24,408 --> 01:08:27,809
And if l don't go,
he won't go with Deborah.
945
01:08:29,013 --> 01:08:32,005
Deborah. l am such a jerk.
946
01:08:32,282 --> 01:08:34,773
l thought the whole point
was to get Rick a date.
947
01:08:35,119 --> 01:08:38,350
Yeah, but not her. l mean,
what could he possibly see in her?
948
01:08:38,522 --> 01:08:40,956
-She's totally wrong for him.
-Too pretty?
949
01:08:41,125 --> 01:08:43,184
No, she's trouble.
950
01:08:44,028 --> 01:08:47,828
l guess Rick needs someone
a lot more sensitive.
951
01:08:47,998 --> 01:08:50,694
More like you, right?
952
01:08:50,868 --> 01:08:54,429
Why would l want Rick
when l have Kevin?
953
01:08:55,072 --> 01:08:56,334
Good question.
954
01:08:56,507 --> 01:08:59,032
But do you like him?
955
01:08:59,209 --> 01:09:01,609
Rick's not my type at all.
956
01:09:01,779 --> 01:09:04,077
Sure, with my help,
he's come a long way.
957
01:09:04,248 --> 01:09:07,479
He's stopped buying his clothes
at Nerds 'R' Us.
958
01:09:07,851 --> 01:09:10,786
l know you, Terry, and you like him.
959
01:09:11,989 --> 01:09:13,650
He's research.
960
01:09:13,824 --> 01:09:17,021
My article's due Monday,
l've got a lot of good stuff.
961
01:09:17,194 --> 01:09:21,153
But l still need something
to tie it all together.
962
01:09:21,932 --> 01:09:24,025
Yeah, you like him.
963
01:09:25,502 --> 01:09:27,197
Denise.
964
01:09:28,972 --> 01:09:31,566
Just say you'll go
to the prom with me.
965
01:09:31,942 --> 01:09:36,106
-l'll go to the prom with you.
-Oh, thank you.
966
01:09:37,281 --> 01:09:40,079
l want a limo.
And you can't tell anyone.
967
01:09:40,250 --> 01:09:43,515
Not my friends, not my parents,
no one. Deal?
968
01:09:43,687 --> 01:09:45,951
Look, l'm not proud of this either.
969
01:09:46,123 --> 01:09:49,456
God, look how low l've sunk.
And you know what's really sad is...
970
01:09:49,626 --> 01:09:52,527
...you're the best date
l've had in weeks.
971
01:09:53,797 --> 01:09:56,129
-How do l look?
-Beautiful.
972
01:09:56,567 --> 01:09:59,001
Kevin really loves this outfit.
973
01:09:59,169 --> 01:10:01,603
l wanna look really nice for him.
974
01:10:01,839 --> 01:10:05,400
l guess you two haven't
had much time together...
975
01:10:05,576 --> 01:10:07,134
...since...
976
01:10:07,311 --> 01:10:09,677
...the sex change.
977
01:10:10,013 --> 01:10:11,913
That's cute.
978
01:10:19,890 --> 01:10:23,587
Hey, Denise, what's your rush?
We're young, we're wild.
979
01:10:23,761 --> 01:10:25,888
Let's be young and wild together.
980
01:10:26,063 --> 01:10:29,464
l'd rather get the phone book
and pick a name at random.
981
01:10:30,634 --> 01:10:33,000
Hi, is Terry home?
982
01:10:33,170 --> 01:10:34,899
Yeah, come on in.
983
01:10:35,239 --> 01:10:38,970
-Hey, Terry, you got company.
-Come on up, l'm almost ready.
984
01:10:39,543 --> 01:10:42,944
Hey, we could go to your place,
it's cool. l'm very flexible.
985
01:10:51,155 --> 01:10:53,555
-Oh, shit.
-Terry?
986
01:10:53,724 --> 01:10:55,385
Don't come in, l'm dressing.
987
01:11:00,197 --> 01:11:01,459
Ter?
988
01:11:01,999 --> 01:11:03,830
l'll be right out.
989
01:11:20,717 --> 01:11:22,912
Hey, Sandy, what a nice surprise.
990
01:11:23,086 --> 01:11:25,486
These are for you.
They're kissing fish.
991
01:11:25,656 --> 01:11:28,056
To say sorry about the cave.
992
01:11:28,225 --> 01:11:31,023
Yeah, l'm sorry too.
993
01:11:33,430 --> 01:11:35,864
-How did you know where l lived?
-l followed you.
994
01:11:36,033 --> 01:11:37,432
Why don't you go to Pearl?
995
01:11:38,101 --> 01:11:40,535
Oh, l hate that school.
996
01:11:40,704 --> 01:11:42,262
Bunch of snotty rich kids.
997
01:11:42,439 --> 01:11:45,602
Anyway, thanks for the fish.
l'll put them by my bed.
998
01:11:45,776 --> 01:11:49,371
-That's perfect. ls that your room?
-No, it's my little brother's room.
999
01:11:49,546 --> 01:11:52,208
-That's my room over there.
-Let's see how they look.
1000
01:11:52,916 --> 01:11:54,713
Help me.
1001
01:12:01,458 --> 01:12:03,392
l think they'll look good over here.
1002
01:12:04,995 --> 01:12:08,988
Like, this is where you sleep
and do your homework?
1003
01:12:09,266 --> 01:12:13,202
Yeah, well, l like pictures of people.
1004
01:12:13,370 --> 01:12:15,736
Terry loves tits and ass.
1005
01:12:15,906 --> 01:12:18,067
These women
just aren't tits and ass.
1006
01:12:18,709 --> 01:12:21,337
Kim reads Vonnegut.
1007
01:12:21,511 --> 01:12:26,676
And Luanne,
Luanne despises toxic waste.
1008
01:12:26,850 --> 01:12:30,877
Don't let him fool you,
hardcore sex maniac.
1009
01:12:31,054 --> 01:12:33,852
Well, Terry treated me
with nothing but respect.
1010
01:12:34,858 --> 01:12:36,519
Very special.
1011
01:12:36,693 --> 01:12:40,959
Yeah, he's one of a kind, my bro.
1012
01:12:41,598 --> 01:12:44,795
Hey, l wonder
if that could be your pal, Kevin.
1013
01:12:44,968 --> 01:12:49,337
Yeah, Kevin. Why don't you go
downstairs and tell Kevin...
1014
01:12:49,506 --> 01:12:53,033
...l'm not quite ready and could he
please wait for me in the car.
1015
01:12:53,477 --> 01:12:57,208
l tried that once.
He doesn't like waiting in cars.
1016
01:13:01,518 --> 01:13:05,249
Thanks for stopping by, but
as you can see, l really am in a rush.
1017
01:13:05,422 --> 01:13:07,856
First there's something else
l have to give you.
1018
01:13:08,458 --> 01:13:11,791
-Nothing could top these fish.
-Don't be so sure.
1019
01:13:13,397 --> 01:13:17,993
Oh, my God, the fish! Were they fed
today? Look at those hungry eyes.
1020
01:13:18,168 --> 01:13:19,533
They're kissing.
1021
01:13:19,703 --> 01:13:21,432
They're turning cannibal.
1022
01:13:21,605 --> 01:13:25,735
Here. Feed them this, and l'll see
what l have in the kitchen.
1023
01:13:30,447 --> 01:13:32,312
You guys like pizza?
1024
01:13:40,157 --> 01:13:42,591
Buddy! Kevin!
1025
01:13:42,759 --> 01:13:44,226
Here she is.
1026
01:13:44,394 --> 01:13:47,989
-What are you doing here so early?
-lt's 7:30, l'm right on time.
1027
01:13:48,165 --> 01:13:51,566
Seven-thirty? l could have sworn
you said 8:30.
1028
01:13:51,735 --> 01:13:55,171
l'll tell you what, l'll go get ready,
and you come back in an hour.
1029
01:13:55,339 --> 01:13:58,001
Terry, you know damn well
l said 7:30.
1030
01:13:58,175 --> 01:14:01,736
You said you'd be ready
and dressed to kill.
1031
01:14:02,312 --> 01:14:05,406
So why do you look like hell?
1032
01:14:09,686 --> 01:14:11,210
l don't know.
1033
01:14:11,388 --> 01:14:13,788
Buddy, can l see you for a minute?
1034
01:14:16,693 --> 01:14:19,025
''l don't know''?
You're so great under pressure.
1035
01:14:19,196 --> 01:14:23,064
Listen, a half-naked woman's in your
room feeding the fish. She's all yours.
1036
01:14:23,233 --> 01:14:26,725
-Sounds too kinky for me.
-Budster, l need you. She needs you.
1037
01:14:26,903 --> 01:14:29,701
-You need her.
-ls she really half-naked?
1038
01:14:29,873 --> 01:14:31,807
-Maybe more now.
-What if you're lying?
1039
01:14:31,975 --> 01:14:33,602
-What if l'm not?
-Good point.
1040
01:14:33,777 --> 01:14:36,268
lf l'm not back in a week,
forward my mail.
1041
01:14:42,185 --> 01:14:44,119
Kevin, darling!
1042
01:14:51,661 --> 01:14:53,322
Hello.
1043
01:14:54,398 --> 01:14:55,729
Where's Terry?
1044
01:14:56,733 --> 01:15:01,500
Gone. This isn't the first time
that androgynous sleaze-bucket...
1045
01:15:01,671 --> 01:15:04,162
...has broken
a beautiful girl's heart.
1046
01:15:04,341 --> 01:15:06,309
l am so embarrassed.
1047
01:15:06,476 --> 01:15:09,639
Why? The room's full
of naked women.
1048
01:15:10,080 --> 01:15:13,982
Wait, would you feel more comfortable
if l took my shirt off?
1049
01:15:17,054 --> 01:15:19,113
What a nice girl.
1050
01:15:21,291 --> 01:15:24,124
We can't go to Giovanni's
with you dressed like that.
1051
01:15:24,294 --> 01:15:26,023
Sure we can. We'll get it to go.
1052
01:15:26,430 --> 01:15:28,796
A long time ago l knew
this girl named Terry...
1053
01:15:28,965 --> 01:15:31,763
...she wore dresses and makeup.
1054
01:15:31,968 --> 01:15:33,936
She was hot.
1055
01:15:34,204 --> 01:15:36,604
Then one day she disappeared.
1056
01:15:36,907 --> 01:15:38,636
Do you know where she went?
1057
01:15:38,809 --> 01:15:42,404
She's right here.
You know, l'm still the same person.
1058
01:15:42,679 --> 01:15:44,943
And is that all you care about,
that l'm hot?
1059
01:15:45,115 --> 01:15:47,310
No, that's not all l care about.
1060
01:15:47,484 --> 01:15:50,351
Look, l'm under pressure,
my article's due Monday.
1061
01:15:50,520 --> 01:15:55,389
What is it with this article? lt's nice
to have a hobby, but let's get serious.
1062
01:15:55,959 --> 01:15:57,984
A hobby?
1063
01:15:58,161 --> 01:16:00,493
l didn't mean...
1064
01:16:00,664 --> 01:16:04,031
...hobby like just a hobby, l....
1065
01:16:04,501 --> 01:16:08,369
l meant hobby
like an important hobby.
1066
01:16:21,818 --> 01:16:23,080
Well...
1067
01:16:23,253 --> 01:16:25,619
-...how do l look?
-Dashing.
1068
01:16:25,789 --> 01:16:27,256
My zipper's open.
1069
01:16:27,457 --> 01:16:29,857
That was the dashing part.
1070
01:16:30,894 --> 01:16:33,795
-Budmeister, are you okay?
-No, Terry, l'm not.
1071
01:16:34,564 --> 01:16:36,623
Mom and Dad come home Monday.
1072
01:16:36,800 --> 01:16:39,200
l've had two weeks of total freedom.
1073
01:16:39,369 --> 01:16:44,671
The closest l've come to sex was a girl
who took her top off to seduce you.
1074
01:16:44,841 --> 01:16:46,604
What's wrong with me?
1075
01:16:47,544 --> 01:16:49,409
Not a thing.
1076
01:16:49,579 --> 01:16:52,070
Listen, sex is not that big a deal.
1077
01:16:52,549 --> 01:16:54,517
l'd like to form my own opinion.
1078
01:16:54,784 --> 01:16:57,082
lt'll happen.
1079
01:16:57,521 --> 01:16:59,489
l know this place that delivers.
1080
01:16:59,823 --> 01:17:02,053
Massage Delight or something.
1081
01:17:02,225 --> 01:17:04,090
Can l borrow $200?
1082
01:17:04,861 --> 01:17:08,422
Buddy, why don't you just call up
the guys and go to the mall?
1083
01:17:08,632 --> 01:17:11,533
l'd rather wallow in my virginity.
1084
01:17:15,605 --> 01:17:18,335
Buddy, you know l can't answer it.
1085
01:17:19,009 --> 01:17:21,637
Please, this is almost over.
1086
01:17:27,450 --> 01:17:29,247
Yeah?
1087
01:17:29,953 --> 01:17:33,855
Yeah, Terry's here.
l'll see if it can talk.
1088
01:17:34,691 --> 01:17:36,921
lt's Mr. Wonderful.
1089
01:17:40,463 --> 01:17:42,454
Hi, Kevin.
1090
01:17:43,133 --> 01:17:45,294
No, l can't tonight.
1091
01:17:46,603 --> 01:17:49,936
Listen, we have to have
a serious talk.
1092
01:17:50,507 --> 01:17:53,067
Yes, it's about us.
1093
01:17:54,110 --> 01:17:57,238
Listen, can we talk about this
later? l gotta go--
1094
01:17:58,348 --> 01:18:00,111
Bye, Kevin.
1095
01:18:02,419 --> 01:18:05,183
Mr. Wonderful is Mr. History?
1096
01:18:08,758 --> 01:18:10,953
All right.
1097
01:19:54,331 --> 01:19:57,698
l'm having such a good time,
no one here knows l used to be fat.
1098
01:20:01,037 --> 01:20:04,700
Tell me again how Rick
and Deborah belong together.
1099
01:20:04,874 --> 01:20:09,004
-Rick and Deborah belong together.
-What a crock!
1100
01:20:14,017 --> 01:20:16,349
He's doing it again,
he keeps giving me looks!
1101
01:20:42,879 --> 01:20:46,212
Thank you, you're very special.
We'll be right back.
1102
01:20:46,483 --> 01:20:48,781
He wants to talk to me,
do you mind if l go?
1103
01:20:48,952 --> 01:20:51,944
-No, really, go ahead.
-You're a great date.
1104
01:20:56,626 --> 01:20:58,423
Hey, Sandy.
1105
01:20:59,129 --> 01:21:03,498
About the other night, l feel like
a visitor from the planet of the sluts.
1106
01:21:03,666 --> 01:21:05,930
Hey, that's okay.
1107
01:21:07,504 --> 01:21:09,972
We all make mistakes.
1108
01:21:12,842 --> 01:21:14,605
Hi, Deb.
1109
01:21:15,645 --> 01:21:17,442
Greg.
1110
01:21:19,582 --> 01:21:21,311
You're dead.
1111
01:21:26,456 --> 01:21:30,415
-Can l help you?
-Yeah, parsley for eight, please.
1112
01:21:32,362 --> 01:21:34,956
-They're so cute.
-Yeah.
1113
01:21:35,698 --> 01:21:38,633
-l don't think they're hungry.
-Hi.
1114
01:21:38,868 --> 01:21:41,894
They really do prefer
mealworms or flies.
1115
01:21:48,578 --> 01:21:50,569
How could she do that to you?
1116
01:21:50,747 --> 01:21:52,806
We don't have a real commitment.
1117
01:21:52,982 --> 01:21:57,385
-She can date whoever she wants.
-ln the middle of the prom?
1118
01:22:00,423 --> 01:22:02,323
Oh, there you are.
1119
01:22:03,927 --> 01:22:06,487
He's so excited, it's his first prom.
1120
01:22:15,305 --> 01:22:16,932
Terry?
1121
01:22:17,774 --> 01:22:20,834
-All right, where is she?
-lt's that darn cult again.
1122
01:22:21,010 --> 01:22:23,672
They have her totally brainwashed.
1123
01:22:24,113 --> 01:22:28,516
-Wanna split her records?
-Tell me now or tell me in the hospital!
1124
01:22:28,685 --> 01:22:30,880
l'm suddenly remembering.
1125
01:22:31,154 --> 01:22:34,885
lf l tell you where she is,
you gotta take me with you.
1126
01:22:35,058 --> 01:22:37,117
l don't want to miss this.
1127
01:22:37,594 --> 01:22:39,289
-Let's go.
-Wait.
1128
01:22:39,462 --> 01:22:42,727
lt's kind of formal, l've gotta change.
1129
01:22:49,839 --> 01:22:52,399
Thank you. Thank you.
1130
01:22:52,575 --> 01:22:55,908
Well, as chairwoman of the prom
committee, it's now my pleasure...
1131
01:22:56,079 --> 01:22:59,105
...to announce
your prom king and queen.
1132
01:22:59,282 --> 01:23:01,512
The envelopes, please.
1133
01:23:01,885 --> 01:23:03,284
Thank you.
1134
01:23:03,453 --> 01:23:07,913
Ladies and gentlemen,
this year's prom queen is--
1135
01:23:09,325 --> 01:23:11,486
Deborah Strowbridge.
1136
01:23:15,532 --> 01:23:18,433
Hey, l swear to God, l'm not lying.
1137
01:23:18,601 --> 01:23:24,540
Okay, all right,
and this year's prom king is:
1138
01:23:26,876 --> 01:23:29,902
-lt's Greg Tolan.
-Yeah.
1139
01:23:31,147 --> 01:23:33,775
All right, Greg! Way to go, Greg.
1140
01:23:33,950 --> 01:23:36,350
Congratulations, Greg.
1141
01:23:36,519 --> 01:23:38,510
Thank you, Deborah.
1142
01:23:41,324 --> 01:23:44,191
You know,
now that l take a good look...
1143
01:23:44,727 --> 01:23:47,719
-...they do make a nice couple.
-Normally we have a traditional...
1144
01:23:47,897 --> 01:23:51,833
...king and queen's dance, but as
chairwoman of the prom committee...
1145
01:23:52,001 --> 01:23:54,333
...l've decided that
that's a stupid tradition.
1146
01:23:55,138 --> 01:23:57,436
So everybody dance!
1147
01:24:11,588 --> 01:24:13,317
Come on, Rick.
1148
01:24:38,481 --> 01:24:40,278
May l cut in?
1149
01:24:43,987 --> 01:24:45,614
Tolan, you're a creep.
1150
01:24:45,955 --> 01:24:47,445
You son of a bitch!
1151
01:24:51,527 --> 01:24:54,052
l'm gonna scratch your eyes out!
1152
01:25:07,477 --> 01:25:08,842
Help!
1153
01:25:11,080 --> 01:25:14,243
You dumb ox, you're in trouble!
1154
01:25:14,984 --> 01:25:16,144
Help me!
1155
01:25:16,319 --> 01:25:19,720
Put me down! Put me down!
1156
01:25:37,040 --> 01:25:39,702
Shit, where did these guys
learn to fight?
1157
01:25:50,553 --> 01:25:53,420
Okay, tough guy,
you want a piece of me now?
1158
01:25:53,589 --> 01:25:55,352
My back's not turned the other way.
1159
01:25:56,325 --> 01:25:58,987
-Nice tux, you'll look good buried in it.
-Come on.
1160
01:26:19,115 --> 01:26:20,844
No pain, no gain.
1161
01:26:34,430 --> 01:26:36,125
Hey, Ter.
1162
01:26:36,299 --> 01:26:38,324
-Buddy.
-l missed you.
1163
01:26:38,501 --> 01:26:41,629
-Terry, are you all right?
-Kevin?
1164
01:26:41,804 --> 01:26:43,294
Hey, Sandy!
1165
01:26:43,473 --> 01:26:45,805
What are you doing here,
in a tuxedo?
1166
01:26:45,975 --> 01:26:48,535
Please go home, l'll call you tonight.
1167
01:26:50,179 --> 01:26:53,307
-Who is this guy?
-Terry's boyfriend, who are you?
1168
01:26:53,483 --> 01:26:54,916
Just a friend.
1169
01:26:55,251 --> 01:26:57,583
We can work this out.
l know you still love me.
1170
01:26:57,754 --> 01:27:00,188
No, l don't. l love someone else.
1171
01:27:00,423 --> 01:27:03,950
-Whoa, thanks, but no, thanks.
-Look, we belong together. You're my--
1172
01:27:04,127 --> 01:27:08,188
Hold that thought. Can l talk to you for
one brief moment? l'll be right back.
1173
01:27:10,133 --> 01:27:13,864
-What's going on?
-Wait, it gets better.
1174
01:27:20,042 --> 01:27:21,873
Yeah, big night, huh?
1175
01:27:22,979 --> 01:27:27,313
-l bet you're a little confused.
-l think l understand.
1176
01:27:28,417 --> 01:27:31,318
l know l should have
told you sooner, but...
1177
01:27:31,487 --> 01:27:33,148
...l didn't.
1178
01:27:34,323 --> 01:27:37,121
-l'm a--
-Terry, l know.
1179
01:27:37,293 --> 01:27:39,158
You're gay.
1180
01:27:39,562 --> 01:27:40,995
l'm not gay.
1181
01:27:44,433 --> 01:27:46,560
Wait a minute, now l'm confused.
1182
01:27:48,738 --> 01:27:52,071
l'm a girl. l'm a woman.
1183
01:27:53,176 --> 01:27:55,406
Right, and l'm Cyndi Lauper.
1184
01:27:55,578 --> 01:27:57,671
Could we please go back
to the prom now?
1185
01:27:57,847 --> 01:28:00,111
l'm a female, l swear.
1186
01:28:10,526 --> 01:28:14,462
-Wait, are those what l think they are?
-l'm sorry.
1187
01:28:14,964 --> 01:28:16,989
Where do you get off having tits?
1188
01:28:17,767 --> 01:28:21,703
There was this contest,
and l needed to prove it...
1189
01:28:21,871 --> 01:28:25,773
...but then l stayed and l met you,
and you're so wonderful that--
1190
01:28:25,942 --> 01:28:29,844
-Shit, l can't believe this.
-Rick, l know you're mad.
1191
01:28:30,012 --> 01:28:34,005
But l think you're terrific, and your
friendship means so much to me...
1192
01:28:34,183 --> 01:28:37,243
-...that l just--
-Then this whole thing was bullshit.
1193
01:28:37,587 --> 01:28:39,919
Major bullshit.
1194
01:28:40,223 --> 01:28:41,952
Rick, wait.
1195
01:28:42,258 --> 01:28:45,489
You've gotta understand how much
you mean to me, believe me.
1196
01:28:45,661 --> 01:28:49,529
Right, Terrence, because
you've been so honest up till now.
1197
01:29:00,109 --> 01:29:03,601
-So how's the fish?
-Great, l put a frogman in the bowl.
1198
01:29:03,779 --> 01:29:07,010
And you know what?
They really do love pizza.
1199
01:29:10,453 --> 01:29:13,183
-Rick, can't you just forgive me?
-No, l can't.
1200
01:29:13,356 --> 01:29:14,846
Rick.
1201
01:29:24,133 --> 01:29:27,125
lt's okay, everybody. lt's all right.
1202
01:29:28,504 --> 01:29:30,495
-He has tits.
-What?
1203
01:29:30,673 --> 01:29:32,664
Come on, Deborah, let's go.
1204
01:29:46,455 --> 01:29:50,050
Whoa, 9:1 5 already.
1205
01:29:50,226 --> 01:29:53,354
Well, gotta go.
1206
01:29:54,730 --> 01:29:58,826
Had a lovely time,
have a nice prom.
1207
01:30:03,139 --> 01:30:04,401
Hi.
1208
01:30:04,573 --> 01:30:07,542
-You're probably here with a date.
-Yeah.
1209
01:30:15,451 --> 01:30:17,180
Thanks, son.
1210
01:30:52,355 --> 01:30:54,983
Buddy, why'd you bring Kevin?
1211
01:30:56,492 --> 01:30:58,187
Good evening.
1212
01:30:59,395 --> 01:31:00,657
Hey, no problem.
1213
01:31:00,830 --> 01:31:04,732
Just a couple of nice all-American
kids experimenting with sex.
1214
01:31:04,900 --> 01:31:07,368
-You remember Sandy, the fish girl?
-Hi.
1215
01:31:08,137 --> 01:31:09,729
Hello.
1216
01:31:11,273 --> 01:31:14,970
You know, my voyage
of self-discovery...
1217
01:31:16,979 --> 01:31:19,174
...has ended in despair.
1218
01:31:19,615 --> 01:31:24,177
Hey, that's so interesting, really.
Could you shut the light off, please?
1219
01:32:15,671 --> 01:32:18,105
l'm seeing Julian
again this weekend.
1220
01:32:18,274 --> 01:32:20,504
He is so cool.
1221
01:32:20,676 --> 01:32:25,978
-l can't believe l finally lucked out.
-Denise, he is the lucky one.
1222
01:32:26,148 --> 01:32:27,911
Hey, Terry...
1223
01:32:28,084 --> 01:32:30,917
...is it true you broke up
with that college guy?
1224
01:32:31,153 --> 01:32:34,850
-lt's true.
-You wanna go out Saturday night?
1225
01:32:35,024 --> 01:32:37,185
l'm sorry, but l'm really not ready.
1226
01:32:37,359 --> 01:32:40,021
What about Sunday,
you think that's enough time?
1227
01:32:40,196 --> 01:32:41,857
Thanks.
1228
01:32:43,766 --> 01:32:46,428
Terry, you have to snap out of this.
1229
01:32:46,602 --> 01:32:48,194
l will.
1230
01:32:48,370 --> 01:32:51,066
Just may take me a couple of years.
1231
01:32:52,108 --> 01:32:53,632
Terry.
1232
01:32:53,809 --> 01:32:55,800
l really liked your article.
1233
01:32:56,045 --> 01:33:00,175
Especially the part on how you can
be cool even if you don't dress cool.
1234
01:33:00,749 --> 01:33:02,649
l feel the same way.
1235
01:33:03,319 --> 01:33:05,753
You wanna go out sometime?
1236
01:33:08,524 --> 01:33:10,958
l'm really not ready yet.
1237
01:33:11,527 --> 01:33:13,290
Thanks anyway.
1238
01:33:18,968 --> 01:33:20,765
Shelley, wait up.
1239
01:33:23,839 --> 01:33:27,172
Terry, could you come
in here please?
1240
01:33:27,910 --> 01:33:29,901
Mr. Raymaker.
1241
01:33:30,312 --> 01:33:32,439
Come into my office.
1242
01:33:41,590 --> 01:33:44,684
l read your article in the Sun-Tribune.
1243
01:33:45,594 --> 01:33:48,461
-Congratulations on winning.
-Thanks.
1244
01:33:48,898 --> 01:33:51,366
lt was real good.
1245
01:33:53,135 --> 01:33:56,866
-And l'm sorry l misjudged you.
-You don't have to apologize.
1246
01:33:57,339 --> 01:34:00,069
l wouldn't have this job
if it weren't for you.
1247
01:34:00,242 --> 01:34:02,369
You forced me to fight for
what l wanted...
1248
01:34:02,545 --> 01:34:05,309
...and l will never forget you for that.
1249
01:34:05,581 --> 01:34:07,344
Thank you.
1250
01:34:07,850 --> 01:34:10,114
l learned a lot too.
1251
01:34:14,723 --> 01:34:18,454
What about that kid you wrote
the article about, Rick?
1252
01:34:18,627 --> 01:34:19,958
He hates me.
1253
01:34:20,129 --> 01:34:22,324
Well, that's too bad.
1254
01:34:22,998 --> 01:34:24,556
You really like him, don't you?
1255
01:34:25,935 --> 01:34:27,562
Why do you say that?
1256
01:34:29,171 --> 01:34:30,661
l read your article.
1257
01:34:45,487 --> 01:34:49,287
Don't worry, l'm a stunt driver,
l do this for a living.
1258
01:34:52,528 --> 01:34:54,723
Swift parking job, Bud.
1259
01:34:54,897 --> 01:34:58,094
-And you're late.
-Yeah, l ran out of gas.
1260
01:34:58,267 --> 01:35:01,430
But don't worry,
l put a buck's worth in, on me.
1261
01:35:03,739 --> 01:35:05,730
Terry, it's summer, smile.
1262
01:35:06,075 --> 01:35:08,771
My face hurts when l smile.
1263
01:35:08,944 --> 01:35:11,538
Listen to me, O sister of my loins.
1264
01:35:11,714 --> 01:35:14,581
l've got a driver's license
and a sex life.
1265
01:35:14,750 --> 01:35:17,275
You've got the job of your dreams
and a chauffer.
1266
01:35:17,453 --> 01:35:20,616
Life is sweet, let's get an ice cream.
1267
01:35:23,659 --> 01:35:25,786
lt's for you.
1268
01:35:29,798 --> 01:35:31,459
You look very good in a dress.
1269
01:35:32,501 --> 01:35:34,401
Very good.
1270
01:35:39,341 --> 01:35:40,968
l thought you hated me.
1271
01:35:42,278 --> 01:35:44,439
l missed you.
1272
01:35:45,848 --> 01:35:48,442
l read your article. Do you...
1273
01:35:49,451 --> 01:35:52,045
...still feel the same way about me?
1274
01:35:55,557 --> 01:35:56,956
Yeah, l guess l do.
1275
01:36:01,096 --> 01:36:02,961
Why don't we go out
and have some fun?
1276
01:36:03,132 --> 01:36:05,623
You know, maybe we could go
dancing Friday night?
1277
01:36:05,801 --> 01:36:07,598
Wait a minute.
1278
01:36:08,437 --> 01:36:12,305
l'm the guy here.
Let me just try this, okay?
1279
01:36:12,708 --> 01:36:16,439
Why don't we go out dancing
Friday night?
1280
01:36:16,612 --> 01:36:19,103
What an original idea.
1281
01:36:20,349 --> 01:36:23,113
-Hey, you wanna go for a ride?
-Yeah.
1282
01:36:23,919 --> 01:36:26,080
As long as l get to drive.
1283
01:36:34,830 --> 01:36:36,195
Come on, Buddy.