1
00:00:00,066 --> 00:00:16,966
^ BugTitleZ ^

2
00:00:18,067 --> 00:00:20,661
So, you're
finally settling down.

3
00:00:20,736 --> 00:00:22,829
You've saved up
a little nest egg

4
00:00:22,905 --> 00:00:26,534
and are ready to dive into
the real estate market.

5
00:00:26,608 --> 00:00:29,008
Let's do a little
shopping around.

6
00:00:29,078 --> 00:00:30,477
The American dream home.

7
00:00:30,546 --> 00:00:32,138
Two bedrooms, two bathrooms,

8
00:00:32,214 --> 00:00:35,775
one doghouse, one garage,
two garbage cans.

9
00:00:35,851 --> 00:00:37,341
It's cozy, safe,

10
00:00:37,419 --> 00:00:40,547
and just barely within
your overstretched budget.

11
00:00:40,622 --> 00:00:41,953
Not for you?

12
00:00:42,024 --> 00:00:45,357
For the same price,
you can buy 200,000 acres

13
00:00:45,427 --> 00:00:47,691
of prime Sahara wasteland.

14
00:00:47,763 --> 00:00:50,994
Put up a cottage.
Nothing but you and the sky.

15
00:00:51,066 --> 00:00:53,193
It's like a beach
without the ocean.

16
00:00:53,268 --> 00:00:55,634
And talk about quiet neighbors.

17
00:00:55,704 --> 00:00:58,935
Too remote?
Oh, I understand.

18
00:00:59,007 --> 00:01:01,999
You need the thrill
and excitement of the big city.

19
00:01:02,077 --> 00:01:03,601
With that same nest egg,

20
00:01:03,679 --> 00:01:06,409
you can get a slice
of prime real estate.

21
00:01:06,482 --> 00:01:08,245
Not this real estate.

22
00:01:08,317 --> 00:01:09,978
Cozy and affordable,

23
00:01:10,052 --> 00:01:12,987
this lovely fixer-upper
is the perfect place

24
00:01:13,055 --> 00:01:15,319
for a dynamic couple like you.

25
00:01:15,391 --> 00:01:17,450
No need to putter around
the house.

26
00:01:17,526 --> 00:01:20,427
It's all right there
where you stand.

27
00:01:23,599 --> 00:01:26,796
What's the matter?
Feeling a little cramped?

28
00:01:26,869 --> 00:01:29,269
Well, just a stone's
throw away,

29
00:01:29,338 --> 00:01:31,932
just one bridge
or a tunnel ride,

30
00:01:32,007 --> 00:01:35,101
just outside the big,
bustling city,

31
00:01:35,177 --> 00:01:38,442
there is a place
with wide-open spaces,

32
00:01:38,514 --> 00:01:41,915
friendly natives,
and spacious dwellings.

33
00:01:41,984 --> 00:01:45,442
And it's all within
your price range.

34
00:01:45,521 --> 00:01:49,787
It's almost
too good to be true.

35
00:01:56,932 --> 00:01:57,990
KENNETH:
When I told you

36
00:01:58,066 --> 00:02:00,762
I had a particular building
in mind for you,

37
00:02:00,836 --> 00:02:02,827
this is the one
I was talking about.

38
00:02:02,905 --> 00:02:06,033
It's a historical home
on one of the best blocks

39
00:02:06,108 --> 00:02:07,700
in all of Brooklyn.

40
00:02:07,776 --> 00:02:10,574
- Remember what we talked about.
- I know. Poker face.

41
00:02:10,646 --> 00:02:12,204
Built-ins, built-ins.

42
00:02:12,281 --> 00:02:14,647
Oh, the kitchen's
a little small.

43
00:02:14,716 --> 00:02:16,911
Well, rip out this
awful room divider,

44
00:02:16,985 --> 00:02:19,419
and you've got
an eat-in kitchen.

45
00:02:19,488 --> 00:02:22,252
And over here
you have your library.

46
00:02:22,324 --> 00:02:22,983
Wow.

47
00:02:23,058 --> 00:02:24,150
For your books.

48
00:02:24,226 --> 00:02:25,386
Oh, you like books?

49
00:02:25,461 --> 00:02:28,988
I have a little collection
of first-edition novels.

50
00:02:29,064 --> 00:02:31,362
Alex is a writer.

51
00:02:32,534 --> 00:02:34,525
The parlor.

52
00:02:47,015 --> 00:02:49,540
Oh, my God.

53
00:02:51,453 --> 00:02:54,718
So, this staircase.
This leads to where?

54
00:02:54,790 --> 00:02:57,759
I thought you realized.
This is a duplex.

55
00:02:57,826 --> 00:03:00,624
As in two floors
for the price of one?

56
00:03:00,696 --> 00:03:03,859
I believe it's right there
in the listing sheet.

57
00:03:03,932 --> 00:03:05,399
So, why was it sealed off?

58
00:03:05,467 --> 00:03:08,868
Were there, like, a slew of
murders up there or something?

59
00:03:08,937 --> 00:03:12,395
No, there's just a sweet, little
old lady that lives upstairs.

60
00:03:12,474 --> 00:03:14,305
A tenant?

61
00:03:14,376 --> 00:03:15,070
Mm-hmm.

62
00:03:15,143 --> 00:03:17,941
So, rent control means
we can't kick her out, right?

63
00:03:18,013 --> 00:03:19,241
Alex!

64
00:03:19,314 --> 00:03:21,874
That's a legitimate question.
You cannot evict her.

65
00:03:21,950 --> 00:03:24,384
She has to decide to leave
or, God forbid...

66
00:03:24,453 --> 00:03:26,512
Poor thing hasn't been
feeling well lately.

67
00:03:26,588 --> 00:03:30,422
She's gotta be close
to 100 years old.

68
00:03:30,492 --> 00:03:32,983
Mrs. Connelly?

69
00:03:33,061 --> 00:03:35,393
It may take her a while.
She's hard of hearing.

70
00:03:35,464 --> 00:03:37,864
Mrs. Connelly?

71
00:03:37,933 --> 00:03:39,798
[Footsteps]

72
00:03:39,868 --> 00:03:41,165
[Door unlocks]

73
00:03:41,236 --> 00:03:43,227
[Latch squeaks, slides]

74
00:03:47,743 --> 00:03:50,075
Kenneth.
[Coughs]

75
00:03:50,145 --> 00:03:52,545
There's my favorite girl.

76
00:03:52,614 --> 00:03:54,980
How you feeling today,
Mrs. Connelly?

77
00:03:55,050 --> 00:03:57,314
I don't feel too good, Kenneth.

78
00:03:57,386 --> 00:04:00,480
Oh, I'm sorry to hear that,
Mrs. Connelly.

79
00:04:00,556 --> 00:04:04,515
I brought by a young couple that
may want to buy the apartment.

80
00:04:04,593 --> 00:04:06,959
- Hi.
- Hi, Mrs. Connelly.

81
00:04:07,029 --> 00:04:08,462
I'm Nancy Kendricks.

82
00:04:08,530 --> 00:04:10,896
This is my husband, Alex Rose.

83
00:04:10,966 --> 00:04:11,762
Hello.

84
00:04:11,833 --> 00:04:14,233
We were wondering
if we could look around.

85
00:04:14,303 --> 00:04:16,931
[Coughs]
I don't feel up to it.

86
00:04:17,005 --> 00:04:19,235
I'm sorry, dear.

87
00:04:19,308 --> 00:04:21,071
Nice seeing you again, Kenneth.

88
00:04:21,143 --> 00:04:23,134
[Coughing and hacking]

89
00:04:33,922 --> 00:04:37,358
You have a Mommy-and-Me
park over here.

90
00:04:37,426 --> 00:04:39,189
You got shopping that way.

91
00:04:39,261 --> 00:04:41,422
No traffic.
It is ideal.

92
00:04:41,496 --> 00:04:44,192
Here's my card
if you want to make an offer.

93
00:04:44,266 --> 00:04:45,824
There's a lot of heat
on this place.

94
00:04:45,901 --> 00:04:48,699
I'd say it'll be
off the market by Monday.

95
00:04:48,770 --> 00:04:50,397
Adios.

96
00:04:57,179 --> 00:04:59,170
Three fireplaces?

97
00:04:59,247 --> 00:05:00,976
Guys, the place sounds
incredible.

98
00:05:01,049 --> 00:05:03,040
And surprisingly affordable.

99
00:05:03,118 --> 00:05:04,176
It's kind of affordable.

100
00:05:04,252 --> 00:05:06,812
It's really at the high end
of our price range.

101
00:05:06,888 --> 00:05:09,379
But when you factor in
that it's a duplex.

102
00:05:09,458 --> 00:05:10,823
It's a duplex?

103
00:05:10,892 --> 00:05:11,688
Yes.

104
00:05:11,760 --> 00:05:12,692
Oh.

105
00:05:12,761 --> 00:05:14,820
You know, it's Brooklyn,
first of all.

106
00:05:14,896 --> 00:05:17,592
We weren't even thinking
about Brooklyn, so...

107
00:05:17,666 --> 00:05:20,499
Oh, actually, which reminds me.
Did you bring it?

108
00:05:20,569 --> 00:05:21,365
Oh, yeah.

109
00:05:21,436 --> 00:05:25,065
Is this the latest in
the Don Piper mystery series?

110
00:05:25,140 --> 00:05:27,404
Fresh off the presses.

111
00:05:27,476 --> 00:05:29,376
I inscribed this copy
to you guys.

112
00:05:29,444 --> 00:05:31,002
- Oh!
- NANC Y: Coop, thank you.

113
00:05:31,079 --> 00:05:33,206
I am sure it's not
gonna be as brilliant

114
00:05:33,281 --> 00:05:37,342
as your new book, but a couple
decent metaphors in there.

115
00:05:37,419 --> 00:05:38,681
Turn of phrase.

116
00:05:38,754 --> 00:05:41,245
We forgot to tell them
the big news.

117
00:05:41,323 --> 00:05:43,052
Oh, God.
Yes.

118
00:05:43,125 --> 00:05:44,057
What is it?

119
00:05:44,126 --> 00:05:46,560
Go ahead.

120
00:05:46,628 --> 00:05:48,152
We're pregnant.

121
00:05:49,464 --> 00:05:50,431
Wow!

122
00:05:50,499 --> 00:05:52,228
Congratulations.

123
00:05:52,300 --> 00:05:53,494
Congratulations, man.

124
00:05:53,568 --> 00:05:54,660
I'm so happy for you!

125
00:05:54,736 --> 00:05:57,933
You guys must have
just found out.

126
00:05:58,006 --> 00:06:02,102
No. Unh-unh.
I'm four months along. Yeah.

127
00:06:02,177 --> 00:06:03,872
- Four months?
- Mm-hmm.

128
00:06:03,945 --> 00:06:05,640
- Oop!
- Oh, honey.

129
00:06:05,714 --> 00:06:06,874
Stop.

130
00:06:06,948 --> 00:06:08,779
Hello!

131
00:06:11,253 --> 00:06:13,585
I mean, we're not
gonna want to live here

132
00:06:13,655 --> 00:06:15,589
once we start having babies.

133
00:06:15,657 --> 00:06:18,626
And that upstairs would make
the cutest playroom.

134
00:06:18,694 --> 00:06:22,061
Well, I don't want Mrs. Connelly
coughing on my baby.

135
00:06:22,130 --> 00:06:23,620
You know what I mean.

136
00:06:23,699 --> 00:06:26,759
Besides, do you realize how much
the duplex is gonna be worth

137
00:06:26,835 --> 00:06:28,598
once we get both floors?

138
00:06:28,670 --> 00:06:29,796
I know how much it costs.

139
00:06:29,871 --> 00:06:32,066
It's gonna be worth
a bazillion times that.

140
00:06:32,140 --> 00:06:35,303
Really? A bazillion?
That's an incredible return.

141
00:06:35,377 --> 00:06:38,710
Come on, Alex, what better way
to finish your novel

142
00:06:38,780 --> 00:06:42,272
than in your own 19th-century
oak writer's nook?

143
00:06:42,350 --> 00:06:44,318
It would be nice
not to write at Starbucks

144
00:06:44,386 --> 00:06:45,978
with the other novelists.

145
00:06:46,054 --> 00:06:48,318
Because you deserve
your own nook.

146
00:06:49,091 --> 00:06:50,752
That's my train.

147
00:06:52,894 --> 00:06:54,623
All right.
Let's do it.

148
00:06:54,696 --> 00:06:55,287
Really?

149
00:06:55,363 --> 00:06:58,628
- Yeah.
- Aah!

150
00:06:58,700 --> 00:07:01,066
Oh, this is so wonderful.
We're gonna have a home.

151
00:07:01,136 --> 00:07:02,694
Yeah. All right.
I love you.

152
00:07:02,771 --> 00:07:03,760
I love you!

153
00:07:24,459 --> 00:07:27,326
I could have sworn
we had more stuff.

154
00:07:27,395 --> 00:07:29,090
It's gonna look great.

155
00:07:30,398 --> 00:07:34,061
Mrs. Connelly, it's
Nancy Kendricks and Alex Rose,

156
00:07:34,136 --> 00:07:36,297
from downstairs.

157
00:07:36,371 --> 00:07:38,339
Let me look at you.

158
00:07:42,244 --> 00:07:43,438
Oh!

159
00:07:43,512 --> 00:07:44,911
Hi.

160
00:07:44,980 --> 00:07:48,177
We just wanted to come up
and say hi.

161
00:07:48,250 --> 00:07:50,684
Oh, what a nice surprise.

162
00:07:50,752 --> 00:07:52,549
Come in.
Come in.

163
00:07:52,621 --> 00:07:54,282
Thank you.

164
00:07:54,856 --> 00:07:57,188
Wow.

165
00:07:57,259 --> 00:07:59,454
What an amazing apartment!

166
00:07:59,528 --> 00:08:02,656
Oh, thank you, dear.
Sit down.

167
00:08:02,731 --> 00:08:04,995
We brought you this
little housewarming gift.

168
00:08:05,066 --> 00:08:07,000
That's very kind of you.
Thank you.

169
00:08:07,068 --> 00:08:09,434
I'll open it for you.
I don't drink, myself.

170
00:08:09,504 --> 00:08:11,062
It's a sin.

171
00:08:12,140 --> 00:08:14,165
Irish Catholics don't drink?

172
00:08:16,411 --> 00:08:18,538
[Traditional Irish music
plays]

173
00:08:23,885 --> 00:08:25,682
What are you doing?

174
00:08:25,754 --> 00:08:29,781
Oh, I'm just taking a few
little pictures for research.

175
00:08:30,826 --> 00:08:34,853
CONNELLY: If I knew you
were coming, I'd have tidied up.

176
00:08:40,068 --> 00:08:41,035
Hey, Nancy.

177
00:08:41,102 --> 00:08:42,091
Yeah?

178
00:08:42,170 --> 00:08:44,502
Blow me down!

179
00:08:45,507 --> 00:08:47,372
- Oh!
- What did you say?

180
00:08:47,442 --> 00:08:49,876
- Are you all right?
- Yeah. Oh, God!

181
00:08:49,945 --> 00:08:54,245
I'm coming, slowly but surely.

182
00:08:55,884 --> 00:08:59,115
- I'll just turn off this music.
- Alex! Alex!

183
00:08:59,187 --> 00:09:00,950
[Music stops]

184
00:09:02,958 --> 00:09:05,290
Sit down, dears.
Sit down.

185
00:09:05,360 --> 00:09:05,951
[Squawks]

186
00:09:06,027 --> 00:09:09,519
I've brought you a little
something to nibble on as well.

187
00:09:09,598 --> 00:09:12,624
Oh, Bugles.
Wow.

188
00:09:12,701 --> 00:09:15,363
I didn't realize
they even still made Bugles.

189
00:09:17,138 --> 00:09:19,038
Here you go.

190
00:09:22,477 --> 00:09:25,002
That's a magnificent parrot.

191
00:09:25,080 --> 00:09:28,777
It's not a parrot, dear.
He's a macaw.

192
00:09:28,850 --> 00:09:32,809
He's named after
my late husband, Richard.

193
00:09:33,855 --> 00:09:37,951
I've had Little Dick
for 40 years.

194
00:09:39,661 --> 00:09:41,595
Come along, dear.
Don't be shy.

195
00:09:41,663 --> 00:09:42,857
It's French onion.

196
00:09:42,931 --> 00:09:43,761
Oh.

197
00:09:45,233 --> 00:09:47,224
[Squawks]

198
00:09:54,075 --> 00:09:57,010
Mrs. Connelly,
how are you feeling?

199
00:09:57,078 --> 00:09:58,511
Why do you ask, dear?

200
00:09:58,580 --> 00:10:02,710
Well, because the last time
we saw you, you were quite ill.

201
00:10:02,784 --> 00:10:07,847
Oh, I had a bit of a cold,
but I'm in fine fettle now.

202
00:10:07,923 --> 00:10:10,050
Tell me about yourselves.

203
00:10:10,125 --> 00:10:12,787
What do you do, Alan?

204
00:10:12,861 --> 00:10:13,520
Alex.

205
00:10:13,595 --> 00:10:15,586
Alex is a writer.

206
00:10:15,664 --> 00:10:17,962
Oh, a writer.
Hmm.

207
00:10:18,033 --> 00:10:22,333
I always thought of that as
more of a hobby than a real job.

208
00:10:22,404 --> 00:10:25,669
I suppose I'm forgetting
about Joyce.

209
00:10:25,740 --> 00:10:27,571
Joyce. James Joyce.
Of course.

210
00:10:27,642 --> 00:10:28,631
Wonderful writer.

211
00:10:28,710 --> 00:10:31,508
He died drunk and penniless.

212
00:10:33,114 --> 00:10:37,676
Well, Alex's first novel
was published in hardback,

213
00:10:37,752 --> 00:10:39,879
and he's about
to finish his second one.

214
00:10:39,955 --> 00:10:41,946
Oh, what's it about?

215
00:10:42,023 --> 00:10:46,050
Well, I like to call it
an urban epic.

216
00:10:46,127 --> 00:10:48,027
It's about three generations
of this family

217
00:10:48,096 --> 00:10:50,724
that own a printing press,
and I tell a story.

218
00:10:50,799 --> 00:10:55,736
That's nice.
Let me give you a refill.

219
00:10:55,804 --> 00:10:59,365
Big Dick had the taste, too.

220
00:10:59,441 --> 00:11:01,739
He was a seaman.

221
00:11:01,810 --> 00:11:07,043
The drink took him
from me in 1963.

222
00:11:07,115 --> 00:11:11,313
We'd been married for 58 years.

223
00:11:13,054 --> 00:11:14,919
'63.

224
00:11:14,990 --> 00:11:17,982
So, when are you two
planning on having children?

225
00:11:18,059 --> 00:11:19,083
Soon.

226
00:11:19,160 --> 00:11:21,151
Yeah, not for a couple of years.

227
00:11:21,229 --> 00:11:24,460
You sound just like
Mr. Connelly.

228
00:11:24,532 --> 00:11:27,296
We never had any children.

229
00:11:27,369 --> 00:11:29,360
It's too late for me now.

230
00:11:29,437 --> 00:11:30,870
[Clock chimes]

231
00:11:30,939 --> 00:11:33,100
Oh, look at the time.

232
00:11:33,174 --> 00:11:36,234
I had no idea it was so late.

233
00:11:36,311 --> 00:11:37,107
Oh.

234
00:11:37,178 --> 00:11:39,078
The time's rolled on.

235
00:11:39,147 --> 00:11:41,843
We haven't had a chance
to see the apartment.

236
00:11:41,916 --> 00:11:44,214
Oh, dear, I'm afraid
there's no time now.

237
00:11:44,285 --> 00:11:45,445
Really?

238
00:11:45,520 --> 00:11:47,283
We must say good night.

239
00:11:47,355 --> 00:11:49,755
Oh, okay.

240
00:11:49,824 --> 00:11:52,588
[Farting sound]

241
00:11:53,695 --> 00:11:54,627
Oh.

242
00:11:54,696 --> 00:11:55,628
Uh-oh.

243
00:11:57,399 --> 00:12:00,391
Oh, no. That was your...
I think it's your couch.

244
00:12:00,468 --> 00:12:02,561
- I think the chair...
- Alex.

245
00:12:02,637 --> 00:12:04,571
That was a little...

246
00:12:04,639 --> 00:12:06,971
Come along, dears.
Come along.

247
00:12:07,042 --> 00:12:07,906
How could you?

248
00:12:08,676 --> 00:12:12,703
"A macaw. Any long-tailed,
brightly colored parrot."

249
00:12:12,781 --> 00:12:15,272
A macaw is a parrot.
I knew it.

250
00:12:15,350 --> 00:12:17,910
Don't you think that
as landlords,

251
00:12:17,986 --> 00:12:19,453
we have some legal right

252
00:12:19,521 --> 00:12:22,217
to see the back of her apartment
if we want to?

253
00:12:22,290 --> 00:12:24,520
I mean, I'll look it up
on the Internet.

254
00:12:24,592 --> 00:12:25,650
That's what I'll do.

255
00:12:25,727 --> 00:12:26,921
I wonder how old she is.

256
00:12:26,995 --> 00:12:35,403
Oh, my guess is that she's
somewhere between 95 and 105.

257
00:12:37,338 --> 00:12:40,535
- She looked pretty good tonight.
- Yeah, she did.

258
00:12:41,943 --> 00:12:44,878
She looked kind of healthy.

259
00:12:44,946 --> 00:12:47,244
Yeah.

260
00:12:47,315 --> 00:12:48,475
That's nice.

261
00:12:48,550 --> 00:12:49,949
Yeah.

262
00:12:53,955 --> 00:12:55,445
Hi.

263
00:13:01,196 --> 00:13:03,596
Hello, Mr. Peabody.

264
00:13:04,833 --> 00:13:07,267
[Television blaring]

265
00:13:07,335 --> 00:13:09,200
WOMAN ON TELEVISION:
I saw myself in the mirror,

266
00:13:09,270 --> 00:13:12,034
and I thought it was
my mother's tush.

267
00:13:12,107 --> 00:13:14,598
[Theme from "Hawaii Five-O"
plays]

268
00:13:19,481 --> 00:13:21,312
Mrs. Connelly?

269
00:13:22,917 --> 00:13:24,748
Mrs. Connelly?

270
00:13:24,819 --> 00:13:27,344
CONNELLY:
Oh, yes?

271
00:13:27,422 --> 00:13:28,753
Who is it?

272
00:13:28,823 --> 00:13:30,085
Hi, it's Alex.

273
00:13:30,158 --> 00:13:32,854
I was wondering if you
could turn down your TV,

274
00:13:32,927 --> 00:13:35,122
'cause we can hear it.

275
00:13:35,196 --> 00:13:39,098
Oh, I fell asleep.
I'm sorry.

276
00:13:39,167 --> 00:13:41,192
- That's okay.
- I'll do that.

277
00:13:41,269 --> 00:13:43,066
Okay.
Thank you.

278
00:13:49,544 --> 00:13:51,478
CARTMAN: No, Starvin' Marvin,
that's my potpie.

279
00:13:51,546 --> 00:13:52,672
STAN:
Cartman, you butt-pipe.

280
00:13:52,747 --> 00:13:54,647
This is the time of year
to share.

281
00:13:54,716 --> 00:13:56,047
Oh, yeah, you're right.

282
00:13:56,117 --> 00:13:57,948
Are you going to eat
your peach cobbler?

283
00:13:58,019 --> 00:14:01,785
No, you don't want all that.
Why don't you share it with me?

284
00:14:01,856 --> 00:14:03,585
MAN: Everybody's
asking me about fiber.

285
00:14:03,658 --> 00:14:05,023
MAN:
In the next few minutes,

286
00:14:05,093 --> 00:14:07,891
you're going to learn about
an amazing...

287
00:14:07,962 --> 00:14:11,261
[Woody Woodpecker laughing]

288
00:14:11,332 --> 00:14:13,527
WOMAN:
If I want a slimmer waist.

289
00:14:13,601 --> 00:14:16,297
MAN: Use it on carpets. OxiClean
seeks out organic stains.

290
00:14:16,371 --> 00:14:18,566
MAN:
There's no more bald jokes.

291
00:14:24,312 --> 00:14:26,303
[Ringing]

292
00:14:37,458 --> 00:14:39,551
I gotta go. Have a good day.
See you later.

293
00:14:39,627 --> 00:14:40,821
And finish that chapter!

294
00:14:40,895 --> 00:14:42,192
I will.

295
00:14:52,473 --> 00:14:54,464
[Buzzer sounds repeatedly]

296
00:14:59,047 --> 00:15:01,607
- Good morning, Alex.
- Good morning, Mrs. Connelly.

297
00:15:01,683 --> 00:15:03,310
I wanted to give you this back.

298
00:15:03,384 --> 00:15:06,080
I won't drink it,
and I thought you might want it.

299
00:15:06,154 --> 00:15:09,248
Oh, thank you.
That's nice of you.

300
00:15:09,324 --> 00:15:12,555
All right, if there's anything
I can do for you, let me know.

301
00:15:16,164 --> 00:15:17,631
[Buzzer sounds]

302
00:15:20,401 --> 00:15:23,165
There is one thing.

303
00:15:24,205 --> 00:15:26,537
Yeah, I'm sorry,
I don't hear anything.

304
00:15:26,608 --> 00:15:28,667
It was very distinctive.

305
00:15:28,743 --> 00:15:33,180
The pipes went
bang-bang-bangity-bang-bang.

306
00:15:33,248 --> 00:15:36,012
Bang! Bang!

307
00:15:36,918 --> 00:15:39,079
Well, they're not
doing that anymore,

308
00:15:39,153 --> 00:15:41,678
or it stopped,
so, I'll tell you what, though.

309
00:15:41,756 --> 00:15:44,850
If you hear it again,
come get me. I'll take a listen.

310
00:15:44,926 --> 00:15:46,894
Oh, all right then.
It's a deal.

311
00:15:46,961 --> 00:15:49,225
Ooh, Alan, dear boy, I wonder...

312
00:15:49,297 --> 00:15:51,231
- Alex.
- Pardon?

313
00:15:51,299 --> 00:15:52,823
Alex.
My name's Alex.

314
00:15:52,900 --> 00:15:54,333
I know.

315
00:15:54,402 --> 00:15:56,199
No, I think you said "Alan."

316
00:15:56,271 --> 00:15:58,501
Oh, no, I don't think so.

317
00:15:58,573 --> 00:16:01,440
I don't forget names.

318
00:16:01,509 --> 00:16:03,943
Could you give me a hand
with the garbage?

319
00:16:04,012 --> 00:16:06,674
We don't want to be
feeding the mice.

320
00:16:27,735 --> 00:16:32,035
What in heaven's name
are you doing with me drawers?

321
00:16:33,141 --> 00:16:36,406
Now, I would move
the pull quote just a teeny bit

322
00:16:36,477 --> 00:16:39,173
so that you'll have room
to squeeze in the text.

323
00:16:39,247 --> 00:16:41,215
You're such
a good squeezer, Nancy.

324
00:16:41,282 --> 00:16:42,943
That's because, until yesterday,

325
00:16:43,017 --> 00:16:45,713
I lived in an apartment
the size of a small child.

326
00:16:45,787 --> 00:16:48,551
But look at the new place.

327
00:16:48,623 --> 00:16:49,920
Oh, my God!

328
00:16:49,991 --> 00:16:51,515
- Isn't it gorgeous?
- Yes.

329
00:16:51,592 --> 00:16:54,527
There's, like,
this living room/parlor area.

330
00:16:54,595 --> 00:16:57,063
Nancy, did you finish
the "Celebrity Scene" page?

331
00:16:57,131 --> 00:16:58,496
Oh, tickety-boo.

332
00:16:58,566 --> 00:16:59,931
I don't know what that means.

333
00:17:00,001 --> 00:17:01,195
It means you'll have it soon.

334
00:17:01,269 --> 00:17:03,260
Well, if you mean
I'll have it soon,

335
00:17:03,338 --> 00:17:05,397
why don't you say
I'll have it soon?

336
00:17:05,473 --> 00:17:09,307
"Tickety-boo"
is just confusing for everybody.

337
00:17:11,312 --> 00:17:14,042
Oh, Mr. Peabody.
How did that get in there?

338
00:17:14,115 --> 00:17:15,673
Ohh.

339
00:17:22,323 --> 00:17:24,223
Alex?

340
00:17:25,960 --> 00:17:26,892
[Door closes]

341
00:17:26,961 --> 00:17:28,121
Alex?

342
00:17:28,196 --> 00:17:29,754
ALEX:
Hey.

343
00:17:29,831 --> 00:17:31,594
Hi!

344
00:17:31,666 --> 00:17:34,362
Hi.
How was work?

345
00:17:34,435 --> 00:17:37,495
Oh, Herman's freaking out,
as usual.

346
00:17:38,506 --> 00:17:39,632
Were you napping?

347
00:17:39,707 --> 00:17:43,803
No, I was just rearranging
my book collection.

348
00:17:43,878 --> 00:17:45,846
In the dark?

349
00:17:45,913 --> 00:17:47,972
And then I closed my eyes
for a second.

350
00:17:48,049 --> 00:17:50,711
Just to think, and, you know.
Is this dinner?

351
00:17:50,785 --> 00:17:53,549
Mm-hmm.
So, how was your nook?

352
00:17:53,621 --> 00:17:56,715
Did you get, like, five
or six million pages written?

353
00:17:56,791 --> 00:17:59,316
More like five or six words.

354
00:17:59,394 --> 00:18:02,727
Our upstairs neighbor had me
doing chores for her all day.

355
00:18:02,797 --> 00:18:03,661
Really?

356
00:18:03,731 --> 00:18:05,255
Yeah.

357
00:18:05,333 --> 00:18:07,563
Well, you just gotta set
some boundaries.

358
00:18:07,635 --> 00:18:10,570
Just tell her you're working.
She'll understand.

359
00:18:10,638 --> 00:18:11,764
What is that?

360
00:18:11,839 --> 00:18:14,706
Oh, I picked up a few things
on the way home.

361
00:18:14,776 --> 00:18:16,266
It's an area rug.

362
00:18:16,344 --> 00:18:18,141
- Do you love it?
- Yes. How much was it?

363
00:18:18,212 --> 00:18:20,180
It doesn't seem
to cover much of an area.

364
00:18:20,248 --> 00:18:22,478
It was $200
or something like that.

365
00:18:22,550 --> 00:18:23,949
I don't really remember.

366
00:18:24,018 --> 00:18:24,950
That was 200 bucks?

367
00:18:25,019 --> 00:18:27,419
Yeah, but, you know,
it's a runner,

368
00:18:27,488 --> 00:18:29,183
'cause it goes in between
the two rooms

369
00:18:29,257 --> 00:18:30,849
and then ties them together.

370
00:18:30,925 --> 00:18:34,452
Ooh, and look!
Look, look, look, look, look!

371
00:18:34,529 --> 00:18:37,396
It's an original Pablo Flinch.

372
00:18:37,465 --> 00:18:39,228
Really? Cool.

373
00:18:39,300 --> 00:18:44,328
Is it, like, a Mayan
guacamole bowl or something?

374
00:18:44,405 --> 00:18:47,101
It's a stool.

375
00:18:47,175 --> 00:18:48,870
Here.

376
00:18:48,943 --> 00:18:50,410
Try it.

377
00:18:53,581 --> 00:18:55,014
What are we, hobbits?

378
00:18:55,082 --> 00:18:56,982
[Metal clanking]

379
00:19:03,291 --> 00:19:05,691
It's a water stain!

380
00:19:05,760 --> 00:19:09,628
I told Mr. Rose the problem
with the pipes this morning.

381
00:19:09,697 --> 00:19:12,291
They were going
bang-bang-bangity-bang-bang.

382
00:19:12,366 --> 00:19:15,233
Bang. Bang.

383
00:19:15,303 --> 00:19:16,565
[Foreign accent]
Yeah, the whole bathroom

384
00:19:16,637 --> 00:19:18,366
could have explode.

385
00:19:19,941 --> 00:19:21,465
471 bucks.

386
00:19:21,542 --> 00:19:23,339
What time?

387
00:19:24,378 --> 00:19:26,505
- You were here three hours?
- Yeah.

388
00:19:26,581 --> 00:19:29,709
Sweetie, these were
original tiles.

389
00:19:29,784 --> 00:19:31,251
How could you not hear banging?

390
00:19:31,319 --> 00:19:32,718
Sweetie, I was asleep!

391
00:19:32,787 --> 00:19:35,483
Napping, and in the middle
of the afternoon.

392
00:19:35,556 --> 00:19:37,353
Shameful.

393
00:19:38,259 --> 00:19:40,420
I'm not gonna pay
for unauthorized repairs.

394
00:19:40,495 --> 00:19:41,985
I did the work, my friend.

395
00:19:42,063 --> 00:19:43,963
I can rip the pipes
out of the wall.

396
00:19:44,031 --> 00:19:45,896
[Speaking foreign language]

397
00:19:45,967 --> 00:19:46,661
What?

398
00:19:46,734 --> 00:19:48,531
[Speaking foreign language]

399
00:19:48,603 --> 00:19:50,434
I don't know what you're saying.

400
00:19:50,505 --> 00:19:51,699
Do it! Do it!

401
00:19:51,772 --> 00:19:53,637
You do it.
You do it.

402
00:19:53,708 --> 00:19:55,733
- NANC Y: Alex!
- What?

403
00:19:55,810 --> 00:19:57,539
Okay, forget it.
Plug it up.

404
00:19:57,612 --> 00:19:59,239
[Speaking foreign language]

405
00:20:00,648 --> 00:20:02,946
I begged Mr. Rose
to do something.

406
00:20:03,017 --> 00:20:04,917
I was terrified, Nancy.

407
00:20:04,986 --> 00:20:07,113
Okay, well, the next
time that happens,

408
00:20:07,188 --> 00:20:09,088
Mrs. Connelly,
just call me, okay?

409
00:20:09,156 --> 00:20:10,646
I gave you my business card.

410
00:20:10,725 --> 00:20:15,924
Alan, before I forget,
it's the first of the month.

411
00:20:17,465 --> 00:20:18,363
Right.

412
00:20:18,432 --> 00:20:20,491
$88.

413
00:20:21,202 --> 00:20:23,636
Do you want to count it?

414
00:20:24,639 --> 00:20:28,302
Remember, if she bothers you,
just lay down the law.

415
00:20:28,376 --> 00:20:31,470
Be firm, but nice.
Two positives, then a negative.

416
00:20:31,546 --> 00:20:33,309
- What is that?
- Psychology.

417
00:20:33,381 --> 00:20:35,747
Don't wait up for me.
I got to work late.

418
00:20:35,816 --> 00:20:38,216
- I love you.
- I love you.

419
00:20:50,865 --> 00:20:53,060
[Buzzer sounds]

420
00:21:00,141 --> 00:21:01,506
Good morning, Alex.

421
00:21:01,576 --> 00:21:03,271
Good morning, Mrs. Connelly.

422
00:21:03,344 --> 00:21:06,541
I wondered if I could ask you
a quick question.

423
00:21:09,183 --> 00:21:11,447
Right.
You know what?

424
00:21:11,519 --> 00:21:14,352
Can I just say this to you?

425
00:21:14,422 --> 00:21:16,549
You know I'm working
on a book, right?

426
00:21:16,624 --> 00:21:18,922
And this book is due
in about three weeks.

427
00:21:18,993 --> 00:21:22,861
And my editor is expecting it
on her desk at that time, okay?

428
00:21:22,930 --> 00:21:24,921
- It's a contractual deadline.
- I see.

429
00:21:24,999 --> 00:21:27,627
So I have to be working
on that book all the time

430
00:21:27,702 --> 00:21:30,262
here in my apartment,
which is also my office.

431
00:21:30,338 --> 00:21:31,464
It's just like my office.

432
00:21:31,539 --> 00:21:33,803
If I was a lawyer,
and I went off to an office,

433
00:21:33,874 --> 00:21:37,173
you couldn't knock on my door,
'cause you wouldn't be there.

434
00:21:37,244 --> 00:21:40,645
So let's just pretend
that I'm a lawyer, okay?

435
00:21:40,715 --> 00:21:41,773
This is my office,

436
00:21:41,849 --> 00:21:47,151
and unless it's a really, really
super-important emergency, okay,

437
00:21:47,221 --> 00:21:50,657
between the hours
of 9:00 and 6:00, I'm not here.

438
00:21:50,725 --> 00:21:53,319
I'm off,
away in my office, okay?

439
00:21:53,394 --> 00:21:57,091
And then after 6:00,
I'm here, okay?

440
00:21:57,164 --> 00:21:58,927
I completely understand.

441
00:21:59,000 --> 00:22:01,298
And I apologize
for bothering you.

442
00:22:01,369 --> 00:22:04,065
Not at all. Okay,
have a good day, all right?

443
00:22:04,138 --> 00:22:05,571
It's just...

444
00:22:07,274 --> 00:22:11,108
What? What is it just?
What is it?

445
00:22:14,448 --> 00:22:17,975
I bought a copy
of your book yesterday,

446
00:22:18,052 --> 00:22:21,215
and I wondered if you'd sign it.

447
00:22:21,288 --> 00:22:23,449
Of course, if you're too busy,

448
00:22:23,524 --> 00:22:27,984
I can come back
out of business hours.

449
00:22:28,062 --> 00:22:31,156
Oh. No.
That... no.

450
00:22:31,799 --> 00:22:34,632
Oh, that's so nice.
You didn't have to buy a copy.

451
00:22:34,702 --> 00:22:37,762
- I have a million copies.
- It's money well spent.

452
00:22:37,838 --> 00:22:41,899
Just write something that I
can treasure for years to come.

453
00:22:41,976 --> 00:22:44,001
Okay.

454
00:22:47,882 --> 00:22:54,811
How about, "To my favorite
upstairs neighbor"?

455
00:22:54,889 --> 00:22:57,050
Signed "Alex Rose."

456
00:22:57,124 --> 00:22:59,592
Here you go.
And I hope you like it.

457
00:22:59,660 --> 00:23:00,854
Oh, I know I will.

458
00:23:00,928 --> 00:23:03,590
Okay. All right.
Good day.

459
00:23:03,664 --> 00:23:05,529
Alex?

460
00:23:06,300 --> 00:23:07,460
Yeah?

461
00:23:08,335 --> 00:23:10,826
I know we've just had
this discussion,

462
00:23:10,905 --> 00:23:14,272
but I was wondering
if the firm of Rose & Rose

463
00:23:14,341 --> 00:23:17,276
could accompany an old lady
to the pharmacy.

464
00:23:17,344 --> 00:23:19,642
It's pissing down out there.

465
00:23:19,714 --> 00:23:23,309
And I need to renew
my monthlies.

466
00:23:23,384 --> 00:23:26,046
It won't take any time at all.

467
00:23:26,120 --> 00:23:34,323
30, 31, 32, 33, 34, 35, 36...

468
00:23:34,395 --> 00:23:36,295
How much is the Nicorette?

469
00:23:36,363 --> 00:23:38,388
$43.97.

470
00:23:41,202 --> 00:23:43,762
I lost me place.

471
00:23:43,838 --> 00:23:48,605
One, two, three...

472
00:23:48,676 --> 00:23:53,670
8, 9, 10...

473
00:23:53,748 --> 00:23:58,981
1, 2, 3...

474
00:23:59,053 --> 00:24:06,824
22, 23, 24...

475
00:24:06,894 --> 00:24:12,764
25, 26, 27, 28, 29, and 30.

476
00:24:12,833 --> 00:24:14,892
Okay, good?

477
00:24:16,170 --> 00:24:21,039
Oh, blueberries.

478
00:24:21,842 --> 00:24:25,209
1, 2, 3...

479
00:24:25,279 --> 00:24:27,270
I thought you
were gonna talk to her.

480
00:24:27,348 --> 00:24:28,508
I did, honey.
I did.

481
00:24:28,582 --> 00:24:31,676
I was very clear with her.
She's just...

482
00:24:31,752 --> 00:24:35,119
She manipulated me somehow.

483
00:24:35,189 --> 00:24:38,090
She manipulated you?

484
00:24:38,159 --> 00:24:40,992
She's very crafty.

485
00:24:41,061 --> 00:24:45,521
She's a crafty old lady.

486
00:24:46,834 --> 00:24:48,961
Well, I'll tell you what.

487
00:24:49,036 --> 00:24:51,470
Tomorrow's gonna be better,
because you know why?

488
00:24:51,539 --> 00:24:54,303
It's gonna be Saturday,
and that's our day off,

489
00:24:54,375 --> 00:24:56,309
and we're gonna get to sleep in.

490
00:24:56,377 --> 00:24:58,277
- Okay?
- Yeah.

491
00:24:59,380 --> 00:25:02,611
I promise everything
will be better tomorrow, okay?

492
00:25:06,153 --> 00:25:09,418
The Love Boat

493
00:25:09,490 --> 00:25:14,427
Soon we'll be making
another run

494
00:25:14,495 --> 00:25:17,225
The Love Boat

495
00:25:18,499 --> 00:25:20,490
[Indistinct shouting]

496
00:25:31,478 --> 00:25:33,309
CONNELLY:
Good morning.

497
00:25:38,519 --> 00:25:40,578
Good morning, Nancy.

498
00:25:41,322 --> 00:25:43,449
This is Nancy Kendricks.

499
00:25:43,524 --> 00:25:44,957
Hello, dear.

500
00:25:45,025 --> 00:25:47,084
Are those musical instruments?

501
00:25:47,161 --> 00:25:48,958
WOMEN:
Yes!

502
00:25:49,029 --> 00:25:51,361
We are a brass ensemble.

503
00:25:51,432 --> 00:25:55,232
We've got a concert
at St. Augustus on Friday.

504
00:25:55,302 --> 00:25:57,964
[Brass instruments playing]

505
00:26:00,975 --> 00:26:03,273
Let's go out shopping.

506
00:26:10,050 --> 00:26:11,745
MAN:
I'll deliver it this afternoon?

507
00:26:11,819 --> 00:26:12,911
Yes, that's great.

508
00:26:12,987 --> 00:26:14,420
Hey, honey, look.

509
00:26:14,488 --> 00:26:15,921
Oh!
Oh, what'd you get?

510
00:26:15,990 --> 00:26:17,582
Remington Royal.
50 bucks.

511
00:26:17,658 --> 00:26:19,250
How much were
they asking for it?

512
00:26:19,326 --> 00:26:21,123
50 bucks.

513
00:26:23,831 --> 00:26:25,765
Look, I got a peacock.

514
00:26:25,833 --> 00:26:26,765
Oh.

515
00:26:26,834 --> 00:26:28,324
- Isn't it great?
- Cool.

516
00:26:28,402 --> 00:26:29,733
What does it do?

517
00:26:29,803 --> 00:26:31,794
It's there to be decorative
and pretty

518
00:26:31,872 --> 00:26:33,806
and aesthetically pleasing.

519
00:26:33,874 --> 00:26:35,774
So what do we need a daybed for?

520
00:26:35,843 --> 00:26:38,107
Oh, for all your napping.

521
00:26:38,178 --> 00:26:40,544
Honey, I took one nap
for two minutes.

522
00:26:40,614 --> 00:26:42,206
I didn't even shut my eyes.

523
00:26:42,283 --> 00:26:43,614
Hey, what's in the bag?

524
00:26:43,684 --> 00:26:45,675
Answer to our prayers.

525
00:26:45,753 --> 00:26:49,780
Try it next to that one,
'cause then the couch will go...

526
00:26:49,857 --> 00:26:53,054
Whoo-hoo-hoo-hoo-hoo.

527
00:26:53,127 --> 00:26:55,118
Wow.

528
00:26:59,233 --> 00:27:02,464
You know what I just realized
that we forgot to do?

529
00:27:02,536 --> 00:27:05,630
We forgot to christen
the apartment.

530
00:27:05,706 --> 00:27:07,674
That's what I was thinking.

531
00:27:12,980 --> 00:27:16,245
Agua de beber

532
00:27:16,317 --> 00:27:19,582
Agua de beber camar

533
00:27:19,653 --> 00:27:24,420
Agua de beber

534
00:27:24,491 --> 00:27:26,959
I love our home.

535
00:27:31,966 --> 00:27:33,365
Aah!

536
00:27:34,368 --> 00:27:38,065
- What was she doing?
- Oh, my God.

537
00:27:38,138 --> 00:27:40,436
I don't know. You think
she saw the whole thing?

538
00:27:40,507 --> 00:27:41,531
Ew!

539
00:27:46,080 --> 00:27:47,843
Hey, where are you going?

540
00:27:47,915 --> 00:27:50,543
Oh, now's my chance.
I got to get up there.

541
00:27:50,617 --> 00:27:52,676
Wait.
What are you gonna do?

542
00:27:52,753 --> 00:27:54,380
The answer to our problems.

543
00:27:54,455 --> 00:27:56,116
- Clap Me.
- What does it do?

544
00:27:56,190 --> 00:27:58,215
When she falls asleep,
we can control her TV.

545
00:27:58,292 --> 00:27:59,350
You be the lookout.

546
00:27:59,426 --> 00:28:02,122
If you hear her coming,
knock on the pipe, okay?

547
00:28:02,196 --> 00:28:03,254
Like, make a noise.

548
00:28:03,330 --> 00:28:04,354
Okay. Okay. Okay.

549
00:28:04,431 --> 00:28:06,160
[Squawks]

550
00:28:06,233 --> 00:28:07,063
Shut up.

551
00:28:07,134 --> 00:28:08,692
Shut up.

552
00:28:27,421 --> 00:28:29,616
[Door opens]

553
00:28:29,690 --> 00:28:31,055
[Door closes]

554
00:28:31,125 --> 00:28:31,557
Hello.

555
00:28:31,625 --> 00:28:36,426
Well, hello, Little Dickey.
I'm back again, aren't I?

556
00:28:36,497 --> 00:28:38,692
Guess what I've got in the bag.

557
00:28:38,766 --> 00:28:42,532
I got hot dogs.
Hot dogs for Dickey boy.

558
00:28:42,603 --> 00:28:44,594
I'll tell you
what I'm going to do.

559
00:28:44,671 --> 00:28:47,834
I'm going to give it
a wee chew meself first.

560
00:28:47,908 --> 00:28:49,705
Mm. Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm.

561
00:28:52,179 --> 00:28:55,546
Mm. It's so nice, Dickey.
It is.

562
00:28:55,616 --> 00:28:57,106
It's so good.

563
00:28:57,184 --> 00:28:58,913
Mm.

564
00:28:59,753 --> 00:29:01,152
I tell you what.

565
00:29:01,221 --> 00:29:03,985
Shall we have a bit of music?

566
00:29:04,058 --> 00:29:06,390
A bit of music
and a bit of a dance.

567
00:29:06,460 --> 00:29:10,089
I'll put on your favorite,
the tune you like the most.

568
00:29:10,164 --> 00:29:13,429
The one that was
Big Dick's favorite, too.

569
00:29:13,500 --> 00:29:15,900
[The Dubliners'
"Pub with No Beer" plays]

570
00:29:22,409 --> 00:29:24,138
[Chuckling]

571
00:29:24,211 --> 00:29:25,769
There's a-boy.

572
00:29:25,846 --> 00:29:28,474
From your kindred and all

573
00:29:28,549 --> 00:29:30,517
From the campfire at night

574
00:29:30,584 --> 00:29:33,849
We'll hear
the wild dingoes call

575
00:29:33,921 --> 00:29:36,048
But there's nothing
so lonesome

576
00:29:36,123 --> 00:29:37,954
so dull, or so drear

577
00:29:38,025 --> 00:29:43,827
Than to stand in the bar
of a pub with no beer

578
00:29:43,897 --> 00:29:45,922
Now the publican's anxious

579
00:29:45,999 --> 00:29:47,660
[Creaking loudly]

580
00:29:53,674 --> 00:29:55,266
Holy crap!

581
00:30:05,352 --> 00:30:08,844
Ah, ha, ha, ha, ha

582
00:30:08,922 --> 00:30:11,891
- [Knock on door]
- NANC Y: Mrs. Connelly?

583
00:30:11,959 --> 00:30:17,625
With a thrill in my hand
and a pill on my tongue

584
00:30:17,698 --> 00:30:22,465
Dissolve the nerves
that have just begun

585
00:30:22,536 --> 00:30:25,130
Listening to Marvin

586
00:30:25,205 --> 00:30:27,435
All night long

587
00:30:27,508 --> 00:30:29,339
This is the sound

588
00:30:29,409 --> 00:30:31,343
Mrs. Connelly?

589
00:30:33,380 --> 00:30:35,245
Mrs. Connelly?

590
00:30:35,315 --> 00:30:37,044
Nancy?

591
00:30:37,117 --> 00:30:38,379
Is that you?

592
00:30:38,452 --> 00:30:40,579
Mrs. Connelly?

593
00:30:40,654 --> 00:30:42,588
Hold on a sec.

594
00:30:42,656 --> 00:30:45,420
Mrs. Connelly?

595
00:30:45,492 --> 00:30:46,982
Oh, Nancy.

596
00:30:47,060 --> 00:30:50,393
What a nice surprise.
I'll make you some tea.

597
00:30:50,464 --> 00:30:52,364
It's nice to see you here.

598
00:30:52,432 --> 00:30:54,423
We'll have some tea.

599
00:30:54,501 --> 00:30:55,991
Oh!

600
00:30:56,069 --> 00:30:57,730
And biscuits.

601
00:30:57,804 --> 00:30:59,772
Ow! Ooh!

602
00:31:00,974 --> 00:31:02,532
Honey?

603
00:31:04,011 --> 00:31:05,842
Oh!

604
00:31:05,913 --> 00:31:08,780
Oh, I'm so sorry.
Are you okay?

605
00:31:08,849 --> 00:31:11,784
What happened to you? You were
supposed to be the lookout.

606
00:31:11,852 --> 00:31:14,844
I know.
I know.

607
00:31:18,192 --> 00:31:20,683
[Music playing on television]

608
00:31:21,695 --> 00:31:23,663
All right, here we go.

609
00:31:23,730 --> 00:31:25,630
- Ready?
- Yeah.

610
00:31:28,368 --> 00:31:29,858
[Music continues]

611
00:31:57,531 --> 00:31:59,021
[Music stops]

612
00:32:02,636 --> 00:32:04,866
You're a genius!

613
00:32:10,844 --> 00:32:12,835
[Connelly claps twice,
music resumes]

614
00:32:18,885 --> 00:32:20,876
[Connelly claps twice,
music stops]

615
00:32:23,123 --> 00:32:25,683
That is so weird.

616
00:32:25,759 --> 00:32:29,195
How would she know that? How
would she know how to use it?

617
00:32:29,263 --> 00:32:33,461
You didn't leave the box
up there or anything, did you?

618
00:32:33,533 --> 00:32:35,524
[Connelly claps twice,
music resumes]

619
00:32:40,540 --> 00:32:42,303
[Connelly claps twice,
music stops]

620
00:32:42,376 --> 00:32:44,367
[Connelly claps twice,
music resumes]

621
00:32:47,714 --> 00:32:49,477
[Connelly claps twice,
music stops]

622
00:33:02,663 --> 00:33:03,925
[Music stops]

623
00:33:03,997 --> 00:33:06,522
[Connelly claps twice,
music resumes]

624
00:33:27,521 --> 00:33:29,011
[Telephone rings]

625
00:33:29,089 --> 00:33:30,852
Nancy Kendricks.

626
00:33:30,924 --> 00:33:33,722
Nancy, Mrs. Connelly.
I have a favor to ask.

627
00:33:33,794 --> 00:33:34,920
Emergency!

628
00:33:34,995 --> 00:33:36,257
Hurry!

629
00:33:36,330 --> 00:33:37,422
Run!

630
00:33:37,497 --> 00:33:39,931
Mrs. Connelly,
you know, honestly,

631
00:33:40,000 --> 00:33:41,399
we're going to print today,

632
00:33:41,468 --> 00:33:43,459
and everything's
just crazy around here.

633
00:33:43,537 --> 00:33:44,970
Can't you ask Alex?

634
00:33:45,038 --> 00:33:46,266
I knocked and knocked.

635
00:33:46,340 --> 00:33:49,275
He must be in
a deep, deep sleep today.

636
00:33:49,343 --> 00:33:51,470
We didn't get it
until this morning.

637
00:33:51,545 --> 00:33:53,342
Nancy! Nancy!

638
00:33:53,413 --> 00:33:55,506
We have 27 minutes
to get this to press.

639
00:33:55,582 --> 00:33:56,742
Get off the phone!

640
00:33:56,817 --> 00:33:59,615
Okay, thank you, Mrs. Connelly.

641
00:33:59,686 --> 00:34:01,745
Where is my new hot list?
Where is it?

642
00:34:01,822 --> 00:34:02,914
I'm almost done.

643
00:34:02,989 --> 00:34:05,287
- 5 seconds!
- Okay. Okay. Okay.

644
00:34:05,359 --> 00:34:07,122
- Okay. Okay.
- Hurry!

645
00:34:07,894 --> 00:34:08,918
This is it?

646
00:34:08,995 --> 00:34:09,927
Yes.

647
00:34:09,996 --> 00:34:11,964
- Did you check it?
- Yes.

648
00:34:12,032 --> 00:34:15,524
I don't want it tickety-boo.
I want it tickety-now!

649
00:34:18,772 --> 00:34:20,501
It's good. It's cute.
I like it.

650
00:34:20,574 --> 00:34:22,439
Is it, like,
800, 900 square feet?

651
00:34:22,509 --> 00:34:24,670
No, it's, like, 1,800.

652
00:34:24,745 --> 00:34:27,236
But it might seem cozy
'cause of the fireplaces.

653
00:34:27,314 --> 00:34:28,975
There are 3 fireplaces.

654
00:34:29,049 --> 00:34:31,279
So, here it is.
The third fireplace.

655
00:34:31,351 --> 00:34:34,286
Wow.
This apartment is amazing.

656
00:34:34,354 --> 00:34:38,085
I'm so glad that you like it.
Whew. Relief.

657
00:34:38,158 --> 00:34:39,523
Wonderful collection.

658
00:34:39,593 --> 00:34:40,924
- Mmm, thank you.
- Yeah.

659
00:34:40,994 --> 00:34:42,655
Just make sure you save space

660
00:34:42,729 --> 00:34:44,959
for the Alex Rose
first editions.

661
00:34:45,031 --> 00:34:45,998
Ah, yes.

662
00:34:46,066 --> 00:34:47,727
So.

663
00:34:47,801 --> 00:34:48,995
So, yeah.

664
00:34:49,069 --> 00:34:50,798
How's the ending turning out?

665
00:34:50,871 --> 00:34:53,135
The ending is gonna be great.

666
00:34:53,206 --> 00:34:56,369
I'm kind of circling it
'cause I don't want to force it.

667
00:34:56,443 --> 00:35:00,539
Just make sure you
turn it in by Wednesday.

668
00:35:01,548 --> 00:35:05,279
Management's being very strict
with all our mid-level authors.

669
00:35:05,352 --> 00:35:06,614
I'm only mid-level?

670
00:35:06,686 --> 00:35:08,347
Right now.

671
00:35:08,422 --> 00:35:11,755
Of course, you won't be after
you hand in your masterpiece.

672
00:35:11,825 --> 00:35:14,259
We're replacing most
of the furniture we have,

673
00:35:14,327 --> 00:35:16,522
but we're going
for a Miller/Eames look.

674
00:35:16,596 --> 00:35:17,927
You love Eames, Terrence.

675
00:35:17,998 --> 00:35:19,192
I just got a new piece.

676
00:35:19,266 --> 00:35:20,790
[Laughter]

677
00:35:22,803 --> 00:35:26,102
Did you bring that guy with
the girl in the leopard thing?

678
00:35:26,173 --> 00:35:27,663
Oh, that's Chick.

679
00:35:27,741 --> 00:35:31,268
That's the guy who's advising me
on the Don Piper mysteries.

680
00:35:31,344 --> 00:35:33,403
What, is he a detective
or something?

681
00:35:33,480 --> 00:35:35,038
No.

682
00:35:35,115 --> 00:35:37,208
He's a hired gun.

683
00:35:37,784 --> 00:35:39,809
He kills people for a living.

684
00:35:39,886 --> 00:35:42,616
You brought a hit man
into the party?

685
00:35:42,689 --> 00:35:44,020
Relax.
He's very discreet.

686
00:35:44,090 --> 00:35:47,617
He's got a perfectly legitimate
day job as a cover.

687
00:35:47,694 --> 00:35:49,924
And what do you do, Chick?

688
00:35:49,996 --> 00:35:52,226
I'm a pornographer.

689
00:35:53,433 --> 00:35:57,028
Here, let me give you a card,
you know, just in case.

690
00:35:57,103 --> 00:36:00,072
She's this funny old Irish lady
named Mrs. Connelly,

691
00:36:00,140 --> 00:36:03,337
and she's actually in a brass
ensemble at the church tonight.

692
00:36:03,410 --> 00:36:05,571
There's all sorts
of incredible details.

693
00:36:05,645 --> 00:36:07,909
I mean, I can't wait
for you guys to see it.

694
00:36:07,981 --> 00:36:11,815
It's beautiful.
Ooh, Herman, get in here.

695
00:36:22,295 --> 00:36:24,092
Herman?

696
00:36:30,070 --> 00:36:32,095
Being a landlord
doesn't give you the right

697
00:36:32,172 --> 00:36:35,005
to enter your tenant's premises
anytime you feel like it.

698
00:36:35,075 --> 00:36:38,135
I just wanted my friends
to have a look-see.

699
00:36:38,211 --> 00:36:40,679
You were supposed to be
at the church performing.

700
00:36:40,747 --> 00:36:43,443
Heavens no.
It's next Friday.

701
00:36:43,517 --> 00:36:46,281
We've got a big week
of practice ahead of us.

702
00:36:46,353 --> 00:36:48,218
You terrified the poor woman.

703
00:36:48,288 --> 00:36:50,779
Mrs. Connelly, you can press
charges if you want.

704
00:36:50,857 --> 00:36:52,449
No, I don't want to do that.

705
00:36:52,526 --> 00:36:55,620
They're such a nice couple.
Good night, now.

706
00:36:55,695 --> 00:36:57,788
Good night, Mrs. Connelly.

707
00:37:00,033 --> 00:37:04,231
I'm gonna be watching
the two of you very closely.

708
00:37:07,173 --> 00:37:09,767
- Hey, Alex, right?
- Hey, Chick.

709
00:37:09,843 --> 00:37:12,471
How you doing?
Brought you a housewarming gift.

710
00:37:12,546 --> 00:37:13,877
Oh, that's so sweet.

711
00:37:13,947 --> 00:37:17,348
Well, look,
this is very tasteful stuff.

712
00:37:17,417 --> 00:37:18,611
You know, for couples.

713
00:37:18,685 --> 00:37:21,984
That is so thoughtful.
Thank you.

714
00:37:22,055 --> 00:37:24,580
My card's inside "Ass Patrol,"
in case you need more.

715
00:37:24,658 --> 00:37:25,625
Take it easy.

716
00:37:25,692 --> 00:37:27,557
- Thanks for the party.
- Okay.

717
00:37:27,627 --> 00:37:30,221
I got an award for this one.

718
00:37:41,975 --> 00:37:43,602
She was supposed to be
at church.

719
00:37:43,677 --> 00:37:45,907
You can't fire me
because you got maced.

720
00:37:45,979 --> 00:37:47,674
Believe me.

721
00:37:47,747 --> 00:37:50,648
I wish that's why
I was firing you.

722
00:37:50,717 --> 00:37:55,620
Did you happen to see
the restaurant hot list?

723
00:38:02,796 --> 00:38:04,855
Oh, my God.

724
00:38:08,368 --> 00:38:09,665
So...

725
00:38:11,204 --> 00:38:14,071
How's Mr. Peabody doing?

726
00:38:20,080 --> 00:38:22,014
Alex?

727
00:38:22,082 --> 00:38:24,550
Oh.
Oh, no, no, no.

728
00:38:24,618 --> 00:38:26,347
There's no napping right now.

729
00:38:26,419 --> 00:38:29,946
You have to finish your book.
We need money. I got fired.

730
00:38:30,023 --> 00:38:31,888
Yeah, I know.
I saw it.

731
00:38:31,958 --> 00:38:35,257
Oh, you saw it.

732
00:38:35,328 --> 00:38:38,422
Yeah. It's horrible.
My parents read this magazine.

733
00:38:38,498 --> 00:38:41,899
Now they know my penis
is called Mr. Peabody.

734
00:38:41,968 --> 00:38:43,595
It wasn't my fault.

735
00:38:43,670 --> 00:38:46,230
She was calling me
when you were napping.

736
00:38:46,306 --> 00:38:49,537
I wasn't napping,
for the 1,000th time!

737
00:38:49,609 --> 00:38:52,100
Okay, maybe I took a nap
at one point.

738
00:38:52,178 --> 00:38:54,203
When did napping
become against the law?

739
00:38:54,280 --> 00:38:58,114
Honey, I can't work here. It's
impossible. I've been trying.

740
00:38:58,184 --> 00:39:00,516
I've written three pages
in the last six weeks.

741
00:39:00,587 --> 00:39:02,987
Three pages.
The book is due on Wednesday.

742
00:39:03,056 --> 00:39:06,082
If we don't hand in the book, I
don't know what we're gonna do.

743
00:39:06,159 --> 00:39:08,753
We can't pay for anything.
The runners, the stools.

744
00:39:08,828 --> 00:39:11,092
We can't pay for the
tangelo bowl you like.

745
00:39:11,164 --> 00:39:15,931
We can't pay for your
little happy mug-vase thing.

746
00:39:16,002 --> 00:39:18,163
Well, what if you
got out of the house

747
00:39:18,238 --> 00:39:21,537
and went to write at, like,
a Starbucks or something?

748
00:39:21,608 --> 00:39:24,236
And what? You're gonna stay here
and try to find work

749
00:39:24,310 --> 00:39:27,609
while she has you running around
doing things for her?

750
00:39:27,681 --> 00:39:31,674
Doing all the little errands,
the chores she asks you to do?

751
00:39:31,751 --> 00:39:33,742
I don't think you could take it.

752
00:39:33,820 --> 00:39:36,914
I mean, I love you,
but, honestly,

753
00:39:36,990 --> 00:39:39,823
I've been there, and I don't
think you could take it.

754
00:39:40,827 --> 00:39:42,727
I can take it.
I'll be fine.

755
00:39:42,796 --> 00:39:44,957
[Brass instruments playing]

756
00:40:01,648 --> 00:40:03,411
Nancy?

757
00:40:05,185 --> 00:40:07,119
- Hello, Mrs. Connelly.
- Nancy, dear.

758
00:40:07,187 --> 00:40:11,385
I couldn't help noticing that
Alex left the house this morning

759
00:40:11,458 --> 00:40:12,982
while you stayed home.

760
00:40:13,059 --> 00:40:15,619
I was downsized from my job.

761
00:40:15,695 --> 00:40:18,061
Aw, I'm sorry.

762
00:40:18,131 --> 00:40:19,962
But I'm sure it's for the best.

763
00:40:20,033 --> 00:40:23,969
Let Mr. Rose get out there
and bring home the bacon.

764
00:40:24,037 --> 00:40:25,664
I always thought it was strange.

765
00:40:25,739 --> 00:40:29,971
A husband staying home while
you were out there providing.

766
00:40:30,043 --> 00:40:31,203
Well, he's a writer.

767
00:40:31,277 --> 00:40:32,938
Writer.

768
00:40:33,012 --> 00:40:36,778
The man naps more
than a newborn pup.

769
00:40:36,850 --> 00:40:39,410
What's he writing about?
Sheep?

770
00:40:39,486 --> 00:40:41,477
Is there something,
Mrs. Connelly?

771
00:40:41,554 --> 00:40:44,819
Oh, I guess you could say
there was something.

772
00:40:44,891 --> 00:40:48,486
I've got something on display
in me kitchen.

773
00:40:50,396 --> 00:40:52,330
That is not a mouse dropping.

774
00:40:52,398 --> 00:40:54,127
It's a raisin.

775
00:40:54,200 --> 00:40:57,499
That is the leavings
of a mouse.

776
00:40:57,570 --> 00:40:59,731
It's a raisin.

777
00:41:04,210 --> 00:41:07,407
I sprayed it with Lysol.

778
00:41:10,116 --> 00:41:11,276
Ohh.

779
00:41:11,351 --> 00:41:15,651
And she puts on this sweet face,
and she acts all innocent.

780
00:41:16,356 --> 00:41:19,416
Nancy, could you help me?

781
00:41:20,360 --> 00:41:23,329
I think I found
the leavings of a mouse.

782
00:41:25,498 --> 00:41:27,625
As if she didn't know
it was a raisin.

783
00:41:27,700 --> 00:41:28,928
I know.

784
00:41:38,211 --> 00:41:41,806
I've never designed
religious leaflets, per se.

785
00:41:41,881 --> 00:41:44,645
1:00. Great, Rabbi.
Thank you so much.

786
00:41:44,717 --> 00:41:45,649
CONNELLY:
Nancy?

787
00:41:45,718 --> 00:41:47,583
Okay.

788
00:41:47,654 --> 00:41:49,884
Nancy?

789
00:41:49,956 --> 00:41:53,153
Nancy?
Are you down there?

790
00:41:54,627 --> 00:41:56,094
What is it, Mrs. Connelly?

791
00:41:56,162 --> 00:41:59,996
Little Dickey's caught
in the dumbwaiter shaft.

792
00:42:00,066 --> 00:42:02,534
Well, how did he get there?

793
00:42:02,602 --> 00:42:03,591
Aaah!

794
00:42:04,771 --> 00:42:07,740
Oh, don't hurt him.

795
00:42:11,411 --> 00:42:13,675
Oh, ooh, Dickey boy.

796
00:42:13,746 --> 00:42:15,839
Oh, careful.

797
00:42:15,915 --> 00:42:18,247
Aah!

798
00:42:19,352 --> 00:42:21,013
Shame on you.

799
00:42:21,087 --> 00:42:25,615
Scaring a helpless,
little macaw like that.

800
00:42:27,861 --> 00:42:29,294
This is not going well.

801
00:42:29,362 --> 00:42:32,354
I told you she's a mean,
crafty old lady.

802
00:42:32,432 --> 00:42:34,627
At this rate, I'm never gonna
finish the book in time.

803
00:42:34,701 --> 00:42:36,293
Damn rent control.

804
00:42:36,369 --> 00:42:38,633
I wish we could just
kick her out.

805
00:42:38,705 --> 00:42:41,037
What if we tried
being nice to her?

806
00:42:41,107 --> 00:42:43,769
Maybe we could get her a gift.

807
00:42:43,843 --> 00:42:45,071
- A gift?
- Yeah.

808
00:42:45,144 --> 00:42:48,443
And ask her if
she wouldn't mind leaving.

809
00:42:48,514 --> 00:42:50,106
- We ask her?
- Yeah.

810
00:42:50,183 --> 00:42:51,411
Just ask her?

811
00:42:51,484 --> 00:42:55,011
Maybe it'll take
a little begging, but nicely.

812
00:42:56,055 --> 00:42:57,920
Well, she might go for begging.

813
00:43:06,799 --> 00:43:11,429
There's a chart that shows
what's inside of each chocolate.

814
00:43:11,504 --> 00:43:13,301
That's all right, dear.

815
00:43:13,373 --> 00:43:16,308
Mrs. Connelly,
let me come right to the point.

816
00:43:16,376 --> 00:43:19,174
Alex and I are trying
to have a baby.

817
00:43:19,245 --> 00:43:20,769
I saw.

818
00:43:20,847 --> 00:43:22,576
In the living room.

819
00:43:22,649 --> 00:43:24,583
Right.

820
00:43:24,651 --> 00:43:26,949
The thing is,
when we do have our baby,

821
00:43:27,020 --> 00:43:29,250
we're gonna need the upstairs.

822
00:43:29,322 --> 00:43:31,756
I don't understand, dear.

823
00:43:31,824 --> 00:43:35,157
We're willing to pay you
something.

824
00:43:35,228 --> 00:43:36,786
You want me to leave?

825
00:43:36,863 --> 00:43:39,093
Don't you think
you'd be more comfortable

826
00:43:39,165 --> 00:43:43,625
with people who are more
in your demographic?

827
00:43:43,703 --> 00:43:47,639
In sunny Miami Beach.

828
00:43:49,475 --> 00:43:53,605
I'm Irish.
I'd sizzle up like a sausage.

829
00:43:53,680 --> 00:43:57,912
Besides, this is my home.

830
00:43:57,984 --> 00:43:58,780
Home.

831
00:44:01,321 --> 00:44:04,722
The Emerald Isle, hmm?

832
00:44:04,791 --> 00:44:07,783
Back to the old sod.

833
00:44:08,528 --> 00:44:12,294
Well, now, there's a thought.

834
00:44:12,365 --> 00:44:16,802
I haven't been back home
for 50 years.

835
00:44:17,770 --> 00:44:18,702
Ooh.

836
00:44:19,739 --> 00:44:22,105
A caramel.

837
00:44:32,285 --> 00:44:34,344
So, about Ireland.

838
00:44:34,420 --> 00:44:36,911
And you moving there.

839
00:44:37,523 --> 00:44:41,550
Most likely
they have television now?

840
00:44:41,627 --> 00:44:42,321
Oh.

841
00:44:42,395 --> 00:44:43,384
Of course they do.

842
00:44:43,463 --> 00:44:45,055
Yeah, color.

843
00:44:54,941 --> 00:44:57,637
I've made up me mind.

844
00:44:58,077 --> 00:45:00,170
I'll do...

845
00:45:03,616 --> 00:45:05,208
[Choking]

846
00:45:07,854 --> 00:45:08,912
Mrs. Connelly!

847
00:45:08,988 --> 00:45:10,455
- She's choking!
- Oh, God!

848
00:45:10,523 --> 00:45:12,013
- Mrs. Connelly.
- Do something!

849
00:45:12,091 --> 00:45:14,252
Oh, God!
Ooh, Alex! Alex!

850
00:45:14,327 --> 00:45:16,921
Come on!
Come on!

851
00:45:16,996 --> 00:45:18,463
- Yeah, good.
- Come on!

852
00:45:18,531 --> 00:45:20,192
Come on!

853
00:45:24,637 --> 00:45:26,264
Whew!

854
00:45:26,339 --> 00:45:27,397
Oh, my God!

855
00:45:27,473 --> 00:45:29,065
Oh!

856
00:45:30,810 --> 00:45:31,902
Clear!

857
00:45:34,347 --> 00:45:35,780
Alex, what are you doing?

858
00:45:35,848 --> 00:45:36,780
CPR!

859
00:45:36,849 --> 00:45:39,841
Wait! Stop it!
Stop it!

860
00:45:40,319 --> 00:45:44,949
Oh, God.
One, two, three, four, five.

861
00:45:45,024 --> 00:45:47,219
Okay, give her mouth-to-mouth.

862
00:45:47,293 --> 00:45:49,625
- Oh, no. Really?
- Yes. Yes, do it!

863
00:45:49,695 --> 00:45:50,957
Okay.

864
00:45:51,964 --> 00:45:55,627
No, you got to blow
in her mouth. Come on.

865
00:45:55,701 --> 00:45:56,963
One breath, come on.

866
00:45:57,036 --> 00:46:00,028
One, two, three, four, five.

867
00:46:00,106 --> 00:46:01,403
Okay, again.

868
00:46:03,142 --> 00:46:04,734
Okay, one breath.
That's it.

869
00:46:04,811 --> 00:46:08,042
One, two, three, four, five.

870
00:46:08,114 --> 00:46:09,342
Again!

871
00:46:16,689 --> 00:46:18,088
Oh.

872
00:46:18,157 --> 00:46:20,148
[Gasps]

873
00:46:21,694 --> 00:46:24,663
What are you doing?

874
00:46:25,998 --> 00:46:29,058
You were choking on a chocolate.

875
00:46:30,603 --> 00:46:32,434
You choked on a chocolate.

876
00:46:36,075 --> 00:46:38,100
Oh.

877
00:46:39,011 --> 00:46:42,447
Oh. Oh.

878
00:46:43,015 --> 00:46:45,108
Go on, Mrs. Connelly.

879
00:46:45,184 --> 00:46:49,678
The last thing I remember,
I ate one of their chocolates.

880
00:46:49,755 --> 00:46:54,192
And when I woke up,
he was having his way.

881
00:46:54,260 --> 00:46:56,285
And she was holding me down.

882
00:46:56,362 --> 00:46:58,193
No, I was trying
to save her life.

883
00:46:58,264 --> 00:47:03,224
He stole me drawers once
for sniffing.

884
00:47:03,302 --> 00:47:04,326
That's ridiculous.

885
00:47:04,403 --> 00:47:06,837
She was choking on the
chocolate, so I did...

886
00:47:06,906 --> 00:47:09,272
Shut up!

887
00:47:09,342 --> 00:47:12,470
We keep a list of people like
you down here at the station.

888
00:47:12,545 --> 00:47:14,979
The sexual predator list.

889
00:47:15,047 --> 00:47:17,038
Sexual predator?

890
00:47:17,116 --> 00:47:21,075
And to think
they want to have children.

891
00:47:22,321 --> 00:47:24,255
We should've just let her choke.

892
00:47:24,323 --> 00:47:26,416
Oh, I know.

893
00:47:39,438 --> 00:47:40,928
What can I get you?

894
00:47:41,007 --> 00:47:43,271
Listen, I got 12 hours
to finish this book.

895
00:47:43,342 --> 00:47:45,606
I was wondering if I could
sit here and write all day.

896
00:47:45,678 --> 00:47:47,805
- Be my guest.
- Thanks.

897
00:48:00,326 --> 00:48:02,191
CONNELLY:
Nancy.

898
00:48:02,261 --> 00:48:04,593
I was going to ring you.

899
00:48:04,664 --> 00:48:08,930
I'm afraid there's a bit
of a problem up here.

900
00:48:09,001 --> 00:48:12,095
I have to go on a job interview,
so I'll take care of it later.

901
00:48:12,171 --> 00:48:15,971
Oh, that's okay.
I'll ring the rug man.

902
00:48:23,115 --> 00:48:25,413
Good.
Knock it in.

903
00:48:25,484 --> 00:48:27,076
Knock it in good.

904
00:48:27,153 --> 00:48:30,088
I don't want to slip
and break me neck.

905
00:48:30,156 --> 00:48:31,987
No, we wouldn't want that.

906
00:48:32,058 --> 00:48:34,822
This is the problem area here.

907
00:48:34,894 --> 00:48:37,590
It's loose as a Dublin whore.

908
00:48:37,663 --> 00:48:40,496
Oh, go on, knock it in.

909
00:48:44,503 --> 00:48:46,300
Yes!

910
00:48:47,306 --> 00:48:49,240
Now, just knock it in.

911
00:48:49,308 --> 00:48:51,276
Go on, knock.

912
00:48:51,344 --> 00:48:53,744
Come on, use some elbow grease.

913
00:48:53,813 --> 00:48:56,111
Aah!
Okay, I will.

914
00:49:02,955 --> 00:49:04,980
You threw her down the stairs?

915
00:49:06,959 --> 00:49:08,551
No.

916
00:49:08,628 --> 00:49:11,722
But I imagined it.

917
00:49:11,797 --> 00:49:14,561
And I liked it.

918
00:49:14,634 --> 00:49:15,726
I'm evil.

919
00:49:15,801 --> 00:49:18,895
I'm a horrible, horrible person.

920
00:49:18,971 --> 00:49:21,030
Thank you.

921
00:49:21,107 --> 00:49:23,632
Come on, she's practically
ruined our lives.

922
00:49:23,709 --> 00:49:25,734
It's natural to have thoughts
like that.

923
00:49:25,811 --> 00:49:28,746
- Really?
- Yeah.

924
00:49:28,814 --> 00:49:31,715
I mean, I've even had a couple.

925
00:49:32,818 --> 00:49:34,080
Aaaah!

926
00:49:36,355 --> 00:49:38,255
NANC Y:
Like what?

927
00:49:38,324 --> 00:49:40,588
Just, you know,
snapping her neck

928
00:49:40,660 --> 00:49:43,220
or electrocuting her.

929
00:49:44,664 --> 00:49:46,393
You know,
just beating her to death,

930
00:49:46,465 --> 00:49:48,592
decapitating her,

931
00:49:48,668 --> 00:49:51,193
drowning her, just,
you know, bludgeoning her,

932
00:49:51,270 --> 00:49:54,728
in a humane way, but...

933
00:49:54,807 --> 00:49:58,538
Dicing her up
into little, little pieces.

934
00:49:58,611 --> 00:50:02,775
But asphyxiating her first
so she didn't feel anything.

935
00:50:02,848 --> 00:50:04,839
I'm glad you clarified that.

936
00:50:04,917 --> 00:50:07,511
You're evil, too.

937
00:50:07,586 --> 00:50:10,714
I'm finished.
That's what I am.

938
00:50:10,790 --> 00:50:12,417
And it was incredible.

939
00:50:12,491 --> 00:50:14,459
The last 60 pages
just poured out of me.

940
00:50:14,527 --> 00:50:17,621
Let's open that really great
champagne and celebrate.

941
00:50:17,697 --> 00:50:18,789
CONNELLY:
Alex?!

942
00:50:18,864 --> 00:50:21,458
Alex?!
Nancy?!

943
00:50:21,534 --> 00:50:23,092
[Panting]

944
00:50:23,169 --> 00:50:25,399
Ooh!
Come quick.

945
00:50:25,471 --> 00:50:29,134
A huge rat just ran
under me cupboard.

946
00:50:29,208 --> 00:50:31,142
Oh, come.
Come on, quick.

947
00:50:31,210 --> 00:50:32,142
Quick, Alex!

948
00:50:32,211 --> 00:50:34,543
- I'll pop the cork.
- I'll be right back.

949
00:50:34,613 --> 00:50:37,138
Are you sure it was a rat,
Mrs. Connelly?

950
00:50:37,216 --> 00:50:38,911
I saw its face.

951
00:50:38,984 --> 00:50:41,077
You saw its face?

952
00:50:41,153 --> 00:50:46,216
All right, let's see if we can't
find this big, bad rat.

953
00:50:46,292 --> 00:50:48,590
You sure it might not
have been a dust bunny?

954
00:50:48,661 --> 00:50:50,788
'Cause sometimes
they look rodent-like.

955
00:50:50,863 --> 00:50:53,161
Aah!
The rat!

956
00:50:53,232 --> 00:50:54,893
- Where?
- There!

957
00:50:54,967 --> 00:50:56,696
Oh.
Oh, that's not a rat.

958
00:50:56,769 --> 00:50:59,237
That's like
a little field mouse.

959
00:51:01,540 --> 00:51:04,771
Alan!
Your purse fell into the fire.

960
00:51:04,844 --> 00:51:05,776
Oh, no.

961
00:51:05,845 --> 00:51:07,836
Alan!

962
00:51:09,281 --> 00:51:10,771
Oh, don't!
Oh, don't!

963
00:51:10,850 --> 00:51:12,408
My book!

964
00:51:12,485 --> 00:51:14,385
Ow!

965
00:51:14,453 --> 00:51:15,784
Oh, Alan!

966
00:51:15,855 --> 00:51:18,221
Oh!
Oh!

967
00:51:19,492 --> 00:51:21,551
You'll burn yourself!

968
00:51:21,627 --> 00:51:23,720
Door!
Nancy, door!

969
00:51:23,796 --> 00:51:26,162
Get the door!
Nancy, door!

970
00:51:26,232 --> 00:51:27,426
Is that your book?

971
00:51:27,500 --> 00:51:28,933
Okay.
Oh!

972
00:51:29,001 --> 00:51:31,401
- Door!
- Okay! Oh, my God!

973
00:51:36,475 --> 00:51:37,703
Oh!

974
00:51:39,545 --> 00:51:41,274
No!
No!

975
00:51:41,347 --> 00:51:43,315
- No! No! No!
- Alex!

976
00:51:43,382 --> 00:51:46,317
Stop!
No, stop!

977
00:51:54,226 --> 00:51:56,319
Aah!
No!

978
00:51:56,395 --> 00:51:58,420
No!

979
00:52:07,673 --> 00:52:10,870
I swear she did that on purpose.

980
00:52:26,459 --> 00:52:29,121
MAN ON TELEVISION: And now
here's tonight's Health Watch.

981
00:52:29,195 --> 00:52:31,629
WOMAN ON TELEVISION: A deadly
virus has hit New York City.

982
00:52:31,697 --> 00:52:33,927
Doctors warn that this
particular strain

983
00:52:33,999 --> 00:52:36,297
is extremely dangerous
in children under 5

984
00:52:36,368 --> 00:52:38,461
and especially to the elderly.

985
00:52:38,537 --> 00:52:40,801
Symptoms include high fever,

986
00:52:40,873 --> 00:52:43,275
accompanied by nausea
and violent diarrhea.

987
00:52:43,275 --> 00:52:43,900
accompanied by nausea
and violent diarrhea.

988
00:52:45,711 --> 00:52:47,975
Mr. Rose?

989
00:52:48,047 --> 00:52:50,811
Would you sprinkle some salt
on the steps?

990
00:52:50,883 --> 00:52:52,316
They're terribly icy.

991
00:52:52,384 --> 00:52:54,852
You better not go outside then.

992
00:52:56,889 --> 00:52:59,619
Ow!
Ow!

993
00:53:01,660 --> 00:53:03,491
Mother...

994
00:53:05,831 --> 00:53:08,732
A giant tow truck
runs it over,

995
00:53:08,801 --> 00:53:12,237
followed by an S.U.V.
that it was dragging.

996
00:53:12,304 --> 00:53:13,931
Alex, that's horrible.

997
00:53:14,006 --> 00:53:16,998
I know.
I know.

998
00:53:17,076 --> 00:53:18,941
Can you believe it?

999
00:53:19,011 --> 00:53:21,411
No, I can't.

1000
00:53:21,480 --> 00:53:23,038
I tried to warn you, Alex.

1001
00:53:23,115 --> 00:53:27,245
We're canceling every contract
that's in breach.

1002
00:53:27,319 --> 00:53:31,119
In breach?
I have the crushed PowerBook.

1003
00:53:31,190 --> 00:53:33,317
I'm sorry, darling.

1004
00:53:33,392 --> 00:53:35,189
If you put as much energy
into your work

1005
00:53:35,261 --> 00:53:36,626
as you do into excuses,

1006
00:53:36,695 --> 00:53:38,458
you might have made
the deadline.

1007
00:53:38,531 --> 00:53:40,624
- Do you have the shark?
- MAN: Yes, we do.

1008
00:53:40,699 --> 00:53:44,191
Excellent.
I'm gonna have that, no bones.

1009
00:53:47,540 --> 00:53:48,871
[Man coughing]

1010
00:53:52,444 --> 00:53:54,036
[Sniffling]

1011
00:53:59,552 --> 00:54:02,077
[Coughing]

1012
00:54:20,139 --> 00:54:21,629
Hi.

1013
00:54:38,791 --> 00:54:41,123
How do you feel?

1014
00:54:41,193 --> 00:54:44,253
Like I'm knocking
on death's door.

1015
00:54:52,071 --> 00:54:54,096
Well, look who's here.

1016
00:54:54,173 --> 00:54:56,733
Come in, both of you.

1017
00:54:58,010 --> 00:54:59,443
Hi, Mrs. Connelly.

1018
00:54:59,511 --> 00:55:00,978
Happy Thanksgiving.

1019
00:55:01,046 --> 00:55:01,978
Oh, thank you.

1020
00:55:02,047 --> 00:55:05,483
- How are you?
- Oh, I'm grand.

1021
00:55:05,551 --> 00:55:06,950
But how are the two of you?

1022
00:55:07,019 --> 00:55:10,045
You look rather sallow.

1023
00:55:10,122 --> 00:55:12,181
No, no.
We're fine.

1024
00:55:12,257 --> 00:55:13,884
We brought you some popcorn.

1025
00:55:13,959 --> 00:55:16,655
Oh.
Oh, how lovely.

1026
00:55:16,729 --> 00:55:20,961
I adore popcorn.
So does Little Dick.

1027
00:55:21,033 --> 00:55:24,434
So, did you have a nice
Thanksgiving dinner?

1028
00:55:24,503 --> 00:55:26,403
Oh, yes, dear.

1029
00:55:26,472 --> 00:55:29,930
That lovely Italian lady
in the post office

1030
00:55:30,009 --> 00:55:31,670
brought me a sumptuous dinner.

1031
00:55:31,744 --> 00:55:33,939
The only problem is
some of the carcass

1032
00:55:34,013 --> 00:55:37,540
didn't go down the disposal.

1033
00:55:37,616 --> 00:55:41,313
That's 'cause you don't have
a disposal.

1034
00:55:41,387 --> 00:55:43,014
I don't?

1035
00:55:55,634 --> 00:55:58,102
It's really stuffed up.

1036
00:56:10,282 --> 00:56:11,271
[Gags]

1037
00:56:12,418 --> 00:56:14,352
[Coughing]

1038
00:56:15,454 --> 00:56:17,354
All right!

1039
00:56:23,996 --> 00:56:27,363
If you ask me, you two have got
some sort of bug.

1040
00:56:27,433 --> 00:56:28,593
[Groans]

1041
00:56:28,667 --> 00:56:30,532
[Groans]

1042
00:56:30,602 --> 00:56:35,130
Thank God Officer Dan took me
to have a flu shot last week.

1043
00:56:35,207 --> 00:56:38,267
Upchuck is a delicacy
for Little Dick.

1044
00:56:38,343 --> 00:56:40,868
He's salivating.

1045
00:56:42,781 --> 00:56:44,339
How much can we get, Kenneth?

1046
00:56:44,416 --> 00:56:47,385
That depends on how far you're
willing to drop the price.

1047
00:56:47,453 --> 00:56:50,445
First of all, you way overpaid.

1048
00:56:50,522 --> 00:56:51,921
And then you got that tenant.

1049
00:56:51,990 --> 00:56:54,925
You said
she was a sweet old lady.

1050
00:56:54,993 --> 00:56:57,484
Oh, I can't imagine those words
coming out of my mouth.

1051
00:56:57,563 --> 00:57:00,430
So you're saying that we're
stuck in this hellhole?

1052
00:57:00,499 --> 00:57:04,128
Yeah. Unless you're willing
to take a huge, huge loss.

1053
00:57:04,203 --> 00:57:05,397
How huge?

1054
00:57:05,471 --> 00:57:07,735
Huge, huge.

1055
00:57:07,806 --> 00:57:10,570
We're just totally
screwed, right?

1056
00:57:10,642 --> 00:57:13,770
Yeah. I would say
screwed is apt.

1057
00:57:13,846 --> 00:57:16,940
Do you think that Jean would
ever give you a second chance?

1058
00:57:17,015 --> 00:57:19,142
No.
No, it's over.

1059
00:57:19,218 --> 00:57:21,243
Besides, how could I have time
to rewrite my novel

1060
00:57:21,320 --> 00:57:23,254
and still do my faithful
servant duty to her

1061
00:57:23,322 --> 00:57:26,485
as her little
indentured servant person,

1062
00:57:26,558 --> 00:57:28,321
her little butt boy?

1063
00:57:28,393 --> 00:57:29,860
I mean, I got a lot of duties.

1064
00:57:29,928 --> 00:57:32,362
'Cause she might need me
to count grapes with her

1065
00:57:32,431 --> 00:57:36,299
or help her fix her heater
or go take her to the laundry.

1066
00:57:36,368 --> 00:57:38,461
Or I gotta go help her
clean her banana skins

1067
00:57:38,537 --> 00:57:41,597
and I gotta go help her
clean out her garbage

1068
00:57:41,673 --> 00:57:43,265
or go and wipe her ass!

1069
00:57:43,342 --> 00:57:45,902
God forbid she should have
any shit hanging off her ass!

1070
00:57:45,978 --> 00:57:47,775
- Alex.
- No. Really.

1071
00:57:47,846 --> 00:57:49,677
'Cause then I gotta run
like a little bunny

1072
00:57:49,748 --> 00:57:52,876
and I have to go up there and
I gotta go wipe her little ass.

1073
00:57:52,951 --> 00:57:54,816
And then I have to go, "Oh,
good for you, Mrs. Connelly,

1074
00:57:54,887 --> 00:57:56,855
for having such a nice,
little poopy.

1075
00:57:56,922 --> 00:57:58,184
You got some poopy
on your diapie?

1076
00:57:58,257 --> 00:58:01,021
Ooh, let me go and clean it off
with my tongue!"

1077
00:58:01,093 --> 00:58:02,219
Excuse me, sir.

1078
00:58:02,294 --> 00:58:03,556
I mean, enough is enough!

1079
00:58:03,629 --> 00:58:05,995
Excuse me.

1080
00:58:06,064 --> 00:58:08,760
Off we go, Dickey boy.

1081
00:58:11,403 --> 00:58:12,495
Okay.

1082
00:58:12,571 --> 00:58:14,937
Okay, come on.
We don't have that much time.

1083
00:58:15,007 --> 00:58:16,269
I know.
She's running errands.

1084
00:58:16,341 --> 00:58:19,037
That only gives us 12 hours.

1085
00:58:21,713 --> 00:58:24,910
You, there.
Me, there.

1086
00:58:39,765 --> 00:58:43,064
A little salt in her sugar bowl.

1087
00:58:43,135 --> 00:58:44,363
Hey, come check this out!

1088
00:58:44,436 --> 00:58:45,994
Roger.

1089
00:58:48,273 --> 00:58:49,069
Alex?

1090
00:58:49,141 --> 00:58:51,166
Tripped on the rug.
I'm all right.

1091
00:58:52,911 --> 00:58:54,572
You sure you know
what you're doing?

1092
00:58:54,646 --> 00:58:56,773
I rewired the lamp
in your office.

1093
00:58:56,849 --> 00:58:59,511
Cool. 'Cause if the shock
doesn't get her,

1094
00:58:59,585 --> 00:59:01,576
a little bit
of gas poisoning should.

1095
00:59:01,653 --> 00:59:04,213
[Exhales sharply]
Out goes pilot one.

1096
00:59:06,058 --> 00:59:07,855
Out goes pilot two.

1097
00:59:09,528 --> 00:59:11,689
An hour at 375 ought to do it.

1098
00:59:11,763 --> 00:59:15,529
Did you remember to blow out
the pilot for the oven?

1099
00:59:15,601 --> 00:59:16,568
Oh.

1100
00:59:16,635 --> 00:59:18,125
Honey.

1101
00:59:18,203 --> 00:59:19,295
[Explosion]

1102
00:59:21,206 --> 00:59:23,140
[Electricity crackling]

1103
00:59:40,959 --> 00:59:43,154
Alex.

1104
00:59:43,228 --> 00:59:45,162
The stain is dripping on us.

1105
00:59:45,230 --> 00:59:47,198
I know.

1106
00:59:47,266 --> 00:59:49,928
Isn't it soothing?

1107
01:00:11,189 --> 01:00:12,679
- Alex.
- Hi.

1108
01:00:12,758 --> 01:00:15,591
We got a water stain downstairs,
so I got to look at the pipes.

1109
01:00:15,661 --> 01:00:17,686
What has happened to your face?

1110
01:00:17,763 --> 01:00:20,527
Oh, I just fell asleep in one
of those tanning machines.

1111
01:00:20,599 --> 01:00:23,432
You look like a roast mutton.

1112
01:00:24,336 --> 01:00:26,531
How are you doing, mutton head?

1113
01:00:26,605 --> 01:00:28,197
I'm almost done.

1114
01:00:28,273 --> 01:00:30,002
Ah!

1115
01:00:50,228 --> 01:00:51,388
On the average,

1116
01:00:51,463 --> 01:00:54,728
she gets up to change
the channel 19 times a night

1117
01:00:54,800 --> 01:00:57,963
walking this 48-inch footpath.

1118
01:00:58,036 --> 01:00:59,936
By the time she gets
to the back end

1119
01:01:00,005 --> 01:01:01,870
of that "Hawaii Five-O"
marathon,

1120
01:01:01,940 --> 01:01:03,464
the acid should have eaten
through the floorboards.

1121
01:01:03,542 --> 01:01:05,635
And we'll finally be happy.

1122
01:01:05,711 --> 01:01:07,406
It wasn't our fault,
Officer Dan.

1123
01:01:07,479 --> 01:01:09,538
You should find the plumber.

1124
01:01:09,614 --> 01:01:10,911
- Right?
- Right.

1125
01:01:10,983 --> 01:01:12,712
[Both laughing]

1126
01:01:17,456 --> 01:01:21,552
You know, we might want to get
a hotel room just in case.

1127
01:01:23,261 --> 01:01:27,027
Sweetie, now that we have a hole
in the ceiling,

1128
01:01:27,099 --> 01:01:30,091
I thought maybe it could be
a new place

1129
01:01:30,168 --> 01:01:31,567
for the staircase to go.

1130
01:01:31,636 --> 01:01:33,661
Yeah.
Looks good.

1131
01:01:36,174 --> 01:01:37,698
Where are you going?

1132
01:01:37,776 --> 01:01:39,573
A little insurance.

1133
01:01:41,346 --> 01:01:44,315
Alex, no!
Not Mr. Peacock.

1134
01:01:44,383 --> 01:01:49,150
Honey, Mr. Peacock's gonna have
to take one for the team, okay?

1135
01:01:51,523 --> 01:01:55,050
[Footsteps]

1136
01:01:55,127 --> 01:01:57,288
[Creaking]

1137
01:02:03,001 --> 01:02:05,902
[People speaking
foreign languages]

1138
01:02:07,472 --> 01:02:09,303
That's it.

1139
01:02:09,374 --> 01:02:11,433
She's watching "Riverdance."

1140
01:02:11,510 --> 01:02:13,774
I didn't know people still
watched "Riverdance."

1141
01:02:13,845 --> 01:02:17,281
[Irish music plays]

1142
01:02:27,726 --> 01:02:30,820
You know, this is actually
harder than it looks.

1143
01:02:34,166 --> 01:02:35,997
[Screaming]

1144
01:02:40,072 --> 01:02:42,563
Holy Mary and Joseph!

1145
01:02:42,641 --> 01:02:45,940
I could have fallen
right through.

1146
01:02:50,048 --> 01:02:52,608
The floorboards here,
they're rotten to the core.

1147
01:02:52,684 --> 01:02:55,676
Awhile back she hired this
Russian guy to fix the pipes.

1148
01:02:55,754 --> 01:02:57,312
And I don't know
if you noticed,

1149
01:02:57,389 --> 01:03:00,756
but there's all this
water damage that he left.

1150
01:03:00,826 --> 01:03:04,421
With all due respect
to Mr. "D", Alex,

1151
01:03:04,496 --> 01:03:08,125
you were up here yourself
fiddling with me pipes

1152
01:03:08,200 --> 01:03:10,498
a few days ago.

1153
01:03:10,569 --> 01:03:12,503
Fiddling with her pipes, huh?

1154
01:03:12,571 --> 01:03:14,835
Now, that's another fine
right there.

1155
01:03:14,906 --> 01:03:16,100
For what?

1156
01:03:16,174 --> 01:03:19,041
You can't plumb without
a license in New York City.

1157
01:03:19,111 --> 01:03:21,443
Plumb?
I can't plumb?

1158
01:03:23,014 --> 01:03:24,641
Are you sassing me, Mr. Rose?

1159
01:03:24,716 --> 01:03:26,343
He's not sassing you.

1160
01:03:26,418 --> 01:03:28,283
Yeah, no, I'm not sassing you.

1161
01:03:28,353 --> 01:03:29,820
I'm not.

1162
01:03:29,888 --> 01:03:31,048
I didn't think so.

1163
01:03:31,123 --> 01:03:32,954
'Cause I know
a city building inspector

1164
01:03:33,024 --> 01:03:36,221
that eats chickenshit slumlords
like you for lunch.

1165
01:03:36,294 --> 01:03:38,489
You got it?

1166
01:03:38,563 --> 01:03:40,360
I get it.
You know, slumlord...

1167
01:03:40,432 --> 01:03:44,892
And you're gonna buy
Miss Connelly a brand-new TV.

1168
01:03:44,970 --> 01:03:48,906
In fact, Miss Connelly,
I'm gonna pick it out myself.

1169
01:03:48,974 --> 01:03:53,070
Oh! Could you get one of
those clappy things?

1170
01:03:53,145 --> 01:03:56,808
It makes my viewing
so much easier.

1171
01:04:02,654 --> 01:04:04,713
Smoke.
Smoke, smoke.

1172
01:04:04,789 --> 01:04:08,054
Mesca.
Loot, loot.

1173
01:04:08,793 --> 01:04:09,919
Gun?

1174
01:04:09,995 --> 01:04:11,223
What?

1175
01:04:11,296 --> 01:04:12,991
Gun.

1176
01:04:17,068 --> 01:04:18,000
Gun?

1177
01:04:18,069 --> 01:04:19,297
Gun?

1178
01:04:24,643 --> 01:04:27,612
So this is what it's come to?

1179
01:04:28,813 --> 01:04:30,747
I guess so.

1180
01:04:39,891 --> 01:04:42,359
I don't think
I've ever held a gun be...

1181
01:04:51,937 --> 01:04:53,871
I think I've got everything
I need here.

1182
01:04:53,939 --> 01:04:55,531
We've got an unlicensed
gun charge,

1183
01:04:55,607 --> 01:04:57,370
and then pending
an investigation...

1184
01:04:57,442 --> 01:04:59,069
It was an accident.

1185
01:04:59,144 --> 01:05:00,042
It's my experience

1186
01:05:00,111 --> 01:05:02,409
that wives don't accidently
shoot their husbands

1187
01:05:02,480 --> 01:05:04,277
in the penis.

1188
01:05:04,349 --> 01:05:07,716
And as much as this particular
man might deserve it,

1189
01:05:07,786 --> 01:05:12,814
spousal abuse is a very serious
crime in this state.

1190
01:05:14,159 --> 01:05:16,957
You two have a good night now.

1191
01:05:21,466 --> 01:05:24,458
He thinks you're abusing me.

1192
01:05:24,536 --> 01:05:26,333
Well, you did shoot me.

1193
01:05:26,404 --> 01:05:27,632
[Curtain opens]

1194
01:05:27,706 --> 01:05:30,504
You're very lucky.

1195
01:05:30,575 --> 01:05:32,270
Your hand deflected the bullet

1196
01:05:32,344 --> 01:05:34,244
away from the tissue
of the actual organ

1197
01:05:34,312 --> 01:05:36,405
and just nicked the scrotum.

1198
01:05:36,481 --> 01:05:41,680
What about the,
you know, the berries?

1199
01:05:43,255 --> 01:05:45,689
["Sexual Healing" plays]

1200
01:05:45,757 --> 01:05:46,985
Oh.

1201
01:05:47,058 --> 01:05:49,993
Wake up, wake up,
wake up, wake up

1202
01:05:51,029 --> 01:05:53,088
Oh, baby, now,
let's get down tonight

1203
01:05:53,164 --> 01:05:54,893
You feel that?

1204
01:05:57,102 --> 01:05:58,467
Yes.
Mm-hmm.

1205
01:05:58,536 --> 01:06:00,629
- That's good.
- [Music stops]

1206
01:06:00,705 --> 01:06:03,265
Okay. I'm gonna run
a few more tests,

1207
01:06:03,341 --> 01:06:06,208
but I think you should be
out of here by tomorrow.

1208
01:06:08,246 --> 01:06:10,544
Poor Mr. Peabody.

1209
01:06:10,615 --> 01:06:13,106
He took one for the team.

1210
01:06:13,184 --> 01:06:15,914
I just think that we're going
about this murder thing

1211
01:06:15,987 --> 01:06:16,976
all wrong.

1212
01:06:17,055 --> 01:06:19,046
You think?!

1213
01:06:19,124 --> 01:06:21,991
Maybe we should just
keep it simple.

1214
01:06:27,032 --> 01:06:29,193
This is so not simple.

1215
01:06:29,267 --> 01:06:30,495
Yeah, but you know

1216
01:06:30,568 --> 01:06:33,696
she triple chain-Iocks
the front door at night.

1217
01:06:33,772 --> 01:06:37,264
A little more,
a little more. Okay.

1218
01:06:55,827 --> 01:06:57,226
Where is she?

1219
01:06:59,230 --> 01:07:01,858
Maybe she's in her chair.

1220
01:07:19,851 --> 01:07:22,149
You caught me.

1221
01:07:22,220 --> 01:07:27,351
I can't help but sneak a fag
once in a blue moon.

1222
01:07:27,425 --> 01:07:29,791
We...

1223
01:07:29,861 --> 01:07:31,795
We thought
that you might be cold,

1224
01:07:31,863 --> 01:07:34,024
so we brought you
an extra pillow.

1225
01:07:34,099 --> 01:07:37,432
Oh, such consideration.

1226
01:07:37,502 --> 01:07:42,371
So unlike the other landlords.

1227
01:07:42,941 --> 01:07:47,674
Many have passed
through the dwelling below,

1228
01:07:47,746 --> 01:07:54,151
but I just know
you two have come to stay.

1229
01:07:55,420 --> 01:07:59,288
Officer Dan put in
me new television.

1230
01:07:59,357 --> 01:08:01,587
52 inches.

1231
01:08:01,659 --> 01:08:05,459
And he gave me
these noise boxes,

1232
01:08:05,530 --> 01:08:07,828
there and by me chair.

1233
01:08:07,899 --> 01:08:11,426
So it's like I'm in the cinema.

1234
01:08:11,503 --> 01:08:18,067
Oh, it's going to be
so wonderful here.

1235
01:08:18,143 --> 01:08:21,476
You two lovelies...

1236
01:08:21,546 --> 01:08:23,844
me...

1237
01:08:23,915 --> 01:08:26,816
Officer Dan.

1238
01:08:26,885 --> 01:08:32,687
We're going to be
one big, happy family.

1239
01:08:33,425 --> 01:08:36,189
The Irish have a saying

1240
01:08:36,261 --> 01:08:41,392
that it's unlucky to come in
one door and go out of another.

1241
01:08:41,466 --> 01:08:44,492
Something to do with the dead.

1242
01:08:44,569 --> 01:08:48,130
Evil spirits and the like.

1243
01:08:49,774 --> 01:08:52,402
Good night now.

1244
01:09:04,022 --> 01:09:06,684
Do you know what, dears?

1245
01:09:06,758 --> 01:09:13,027
I think I've enough warmth
as it is.

1246
01:09:18,603 --> 01:09:20,093
Night.

1247
01:09:24,142 --> 01:09:25,837
That was, without question,

1248
01:09:25,910 --> 01:09:29,038
the weirdest 7 minutes
of my life.

1249
01:09:29,113 --> 01:09:32,549
[Claps twice,
television blaring]

1250
01:09:32,617 --> 01:09:33,879
[Screaming]

1251
01:09:36,488 --> 01:09:42,256
Captain Connelly battled waves
twice the size of that!

1252
01:09:42,327 --> 01:09:44,022
Didn't he, Little Dick?

1253
01:09:44,095 --> 01:09:46,859
[Rumbling]

1254
01:09:46,931 --> 01:09:48,762
[Man on television shouting]

1255
01:09:50,702 --> 01:09:54,229
We're just gonna be one big,
happy family!

1256
01:09:54,305 --> 01:09:55,363
[Laughing]

1257
01:10:02,814 --> 01:10:04,645
What?!
Is it us?!

1258
01:10:04,716 --> 01:10:08,516
Are we doing such a bad job
of trying to kill her?!

1259
01:10:08,586 --> 01:10:11,919
It's not our fault!
She's a freak of nature!

1260
01:10:18,029 --> 01:10:20,589
Hey! I thought you were supposed
to get rid of these.

1261
01:10:20,665 --> 01:10:22,360
I did!

1262
01:10:22,433 --> 01:10:24,458
It's strange.
I don't know how that got there.

1263
01:10:24,536 --> 01:10:26,026
Yeah, right.

1264
01:10:26,104 --> 01:10:28,572
"Ass Patrol"!

1265
01:10:28,640 --> 01:10:30,835
Hand me that "Ass Patrol."

1266
01:10:48,126 --> 01:10:50,060
Now, depending on her mood,

1267
01:10:50,128 --> 01:10:52,961
she could be watching TV
over here

1268
01:10:53,031 --> 01:10:54,931
or sneaking a cigarette
over there.

1269
01:10:54,999 --> 01:10:57,866
I realize this is
just horribly cluttered.

1270
01:10:57,936 --> 01:11:01,133
When we get in there, we're
gonna go for a cleaner look.

1271
01:11:01,205 --> 01:11:02,763
It's...

1272
01:11:04,042 --> 01:11:05,839
Sorry.

1273
01:11:05,910 --> 01:11:08,572
What's the easiest way
into this hag's place?

1274
01:11:08,646 --> 01:11:14,175
Well, we found the dumbwaiter
to be rather effective.

1275
01:11:14,252 --> 01:11:18,211
Yeah, and you really don't have
to pull that hard to climb it.

1276
01:11:18,289 --> 01:11:22,123
You know, we could even leave
the back door open for you.

1277
01:11:22,193 --> 01:11:25,959
So, Chick, how much is this
gonna set us back?

1278
01:11:26,030 --> 01:11:27,361
25K.

1279
01:11:27,432 --> 01:11:29,798
O... 2... Okay.

1280
01:11:29,867 --> 01:11:32,267
'Cause we had had
a slightly different figure

1281
01:11:32,337 --> 01:11:34,931
in our heads.

1282
01:11:35,006 --> 01:11:38,271
We were thinking maybe something
a little closer to, like...

1283
01:11:40,345 --> 01:11:42,540
half a "K."

1284
01:11:44,682 --> 01:11:48,778
The bottom-line price
for wet work is $25,000.

1285
01:11:51,456 --> 01:11:52,946
Okay.

1286
01:11:54,826 --> 01:11:58,023
When do you think
you could do it?

1287
01:11:58,096 --> 01:11:59,723
I'll do it Thursday night.

1288
01:11:59,797 --> 01:12:01,424
- Christmas Eve?
- Yeah.

1289
01:12:01,499 --> 01:12:04,332
I got a little function.
Then I'll swing by.

1290
01:12:04,402 --> 01:12:06,836
Put the cash in the dumbwaiter.

1291
01:12:06,904 --> 01:12:08,997
- Got it?
- Got it.

1292
01:12:09,073 --> 01:12:11,166
- Okay.
- Cool.

1293
01:12:11,242 --> 01:12:13,369
Don't forget your computer.

1294
01:12:13,444 --> 01:12:15,537
Thank you so much.

1295
01:12:20,785 --> 01:12:22,446
Good night.

1296
01:12:25,089 --> 01:12:29,992
Okay, now all we need
is $25,000.

1297
01:12:30,061 --> 01:12:30,461
"Piper grabbed the leash of the
only partner he'd ever known,

1298
01:12:30,461 --> 01:12:33,021
"Piper grabbed the leash of the
only partner he'd ever known,

1299
01:12:33,097 --> 01:12:35,895
and the private eye and his
Jack Russell headed downtown.

1300
01:12:35,967 --> 01:12:39,403
'I guess it's just one of those
things worth killing for, huh?"'

1301
01:12:43,074 --> 01:12:45,542
WOMAN: We'll take a break
and come back for some Q&A.

1302
01:12:45,610 --> 01:12:46,907
Dental surgery.

1303
01:12:46,978 --> 01:12:48,946
$25,000?!

1304
01:12:49,013 --> 01:12:51,038
The thing is,
with Nancy losing her job,

1305
01:12:51,115 --> 01:12:54,710
and with the mortgage and now
with me losing my book contract,

1306
01:12:54,786 --> 01:12:56,253
things have gotten desperate,

1307
01:12:56,320 --> 01:12:59,619
and I wouldn't even be asking
if it wasn't serious.

1308
01:12:59,691 --> 01:13:01,386
[Footsteps]

1309
01:13:01,459 --> 01:13:02,790
[Door slams]

1310
01:13:02,860 --> 01:13:04,259
Did you get the money?

1311
01:13:04,328 --> 01:13:05,886
No. He didn't think
I needed it.

1312
01:13:05,963 --> 01:13:09,524
But I did get a nice,
new, signed first edition

1313
01:13:09,600 --> 01:13:11,067
for my collection.

1314
01:13:11,135 --> 01:13:13,399
He wrote it in 4 days.
Want to know how?

1315
01:13:13,471 --> 01:13:15,905
Listen to this.
Let's see.

1316
01:13:15,973 --> 01:13:17,838
"Her hair was bright yellow

1317
01:13:17,909 --> 01:13:20,469
like the color of your pee
after you take a multivitamin."

1318
01:13:20,545 --> 01:13:23,309
It's a nice metaphor, asshole!

1319
01:13:23,381 --> 01:13:25,542
Stupid, freaking asshole!

1320
01:13:25,616 --> 01:13:27,743
I hate you and your stupid
Don Piper mystery

1321
01:13:27,819 --> 01:13:31,016
and your stupid pregnant wife
who's gonna have a little baby

1322
01:13:31,089 --> 01:13:35,025
that has a freaking six-pack
because its mother never eats!

1323
01:13:35,093 --> 01:13:37,254
Honey.

1324
01:13:38,796 --> 01:13:41,264
Honey, we're gonna get
that money.

1325
01:13:41,332 --> 01:13:43,061
How?

1326
01:13:43,134 --> 01:13:47,298
How are we gonna get $25,000
in two days?

1327
01:13:52,577 --> 01:13:55,774
["It's Beginning to Look
Like Christmas" plays]

1328
01:14:02,019 --> 01:14:05,614
It's beginning to look
a lot like Christmas

1329
01:14:05,690 --> 01:14:07,419
No.

1330
01:14:09,193 --> 01:14:11,354
Not Mr. Peacock.

1331
01:14:12,463 --> 01:14:15,296
Take a look
in the five-and-ten

1332
01:14:15,366 --> 01:14:17,459
Glistening once again

1333
01:14:17,535 --> 01:14:21,733
With candy canes
and silver lanes aglow

1334
01:14:21,806 --> 01:14:26,038
It's beginning to look
a lot like Christmas

1335
01:14:26,110 --> 01:14:27,077
Christmas

1336
01:14:27,145 --> 01:14:29,875
Toys in every store

1337
01:14:29,947 --> 01:14:31,209
Ooh

1338
01:14:31,282 --> 01:14:34,012
But the prettiest sight
to see

1339
01:14:34,085 --> 01:14:36,053
Is the holly that will be

1340
01:14:36,120 --> 01:14:41,319
On your own front door

1341
01:14:42,860 --> 01:14:44,885
[Hinges creaking]

1342
01:15:05,616 --> 01:15:07,846
[Zipper zips]

1343
01:15:11,455 --> 01:15:13,218
[Buzzer sounds]

1344
01:15:13,291 --> 01:15:15,486
CHILDREN: Jingle bells,
jingle bells

1345
01:15:15,560 --> 01:15:17,551
Jingle all the way

1346
01:15:17,628 --> 01:15:20,188
Oh, what fun it is to ride

1347
01:15:20,264 --> 01:15:22,528
In a one-horse open sleigh,
hey!

1348
01:15:22,600 --> 01:15:25,000
Jingle bells, jingle bells

1349
01:15:25,069 --> 01:15:27,731
Jingle all the way

1350
01:15:27,805 --> 01:15:30,831
Oh, what fun
it is to ride...

1351
01:15:30,908 --> 01:15:33,172
Jingle bells, jingle bells

1352
01:15:33,244 --> 01:15:35,337
Jingle all the way

1353
01:15:35,413 --> 01:15:38,405
Oh, what fun
it is to ride...

1354
01:15:39,817 --> 01:15:42,479
ALL:
Merry Christmas!

1355
01:15:42,553 --> 01:15:44,919
That's good, kids.
That is good.

1356
01:15:44,989 --> 01:15:47,423
Now, you save those voices
for the neighbors, okay?

1357
01:15:47,491 --> 01:15:50,551
Officer Dan,
what a pleasant surprise.

1358
01:15:50,628 --> 01:15:52,152
What can we do for you?

1359
01:15:52,230 --> 01:15:54,790
I have cookies
I want to take to Miss Connelly.

1360
01:15:54,866 --> 01:15:58,563
Oh, okay.
Oh, that's nice.

1361
01:15:58,636 --> 01:15:59,796
No.
I'll take them up myself.

1362
01:15:59,871 --> 01:16:01,463
I'll bring them up for you.

1363
01:16:01,539 --> 01:16:03,473
If you don't mind...

1364
01:16:08,946 --> 01:16:10,277
I don't...

1365
01:16:10,348 --> 01:16:12,475
I don't think she's even
up there.

1366
01:16:12,550 --> 01:16:15,986
She's not, so you should just
leave it at the door.

1367
01:16:18,089 --> 01:16:20,717
[Snoring]

1368
01:16:33,571 --> 01:16:37,234
Hey!
Cut that out.

1369
01:16:37,308 --> 01:16:38,832
Stop it.
Hey!

1370
01:16:38,910 --> 01:16:41,572
Stop it!
What the heck is going on?

1371
01:16:41,646 --> 01:16:43,079
There are kids here.

1372
01:16:44,582 --> 01:16:46,743
I knew there was domestic abuse
in this house.

1373
01:16:46,817 --> 01:16:48,785
I'm gonna come back
in 10 minutes.

1374
01:16:48,853 --> 01:16:51,083
Come on, kids.
Let's go.

1375
01:16:51,155 --> 01:16:52,952
Good save.

1376
01:16:53,024 --> 01:16:54,116
[Little Dick squawks]

1377
01:16:56,193 --> 01:16:59,321
I knew they'd send a brute.

1378
01:17:05,603 --> 01:17:06,865
[Screaming]

1379
01:17:06,938 --> 01:17:08,701
Aah!
You shot me!

1380
01:17:08,773 --> 01:17:11,207
I've got you, you brute!

1381
01:17:11,275 --> 01:17:14,642
Who are ya, bringing a knife
to a gunfight?

1382
01:17:14,712 --> 01:17:16,907
Let go of me!

1383
01:17:22,954 --> 01:17:24,717
What's he doing?

1384
01:17:24,789 --> 01:17:27,519
He's doing his job.

1385
01:17:30,094 --> 01:17:32,153
If you want to dance with me,

1386
01:17:32,229 --> 01:17:34,754
you've gotta buy me
a drink first.

1387
01:17:40,104 --> 01:17:41,901
Is that smoke?!

1388
01:17:44,275 --> 01:17:47,733
Get off me, you crazy bitch!

1389
01:18:08,065 --> 01:18:10,761
[Squawking]

1390
01:18:42,767 --> 01:18:44,997
[Coughing]
Wait, wait.

1391
01:18:45,069 --> 01:18:47,401
What?
What?

1392
01:18:51,609 --> 01:18:54,237
Here we go.
You all right?

1393
01:18:54,311 --> 01:18:56,370
Yeah.
Where's Little Dickey?

1394
01:18:56,447 --> 01:18:58,074
Dickey, Dickey.
Here you go.

1395
01:18:58,149 --> 01:18:59,878
Here, here.

1396
01:18:59,950 --> 01:19:01,076
Oh, Dick.

1397
01:19:01,152 --> 01:19:03,086
[Siren wailing]

1398
01:19:03,154 --> 01:19:04,212
Dickey.

1399
01:19:04,288 --> 01:19:06,119
Hello.

1400
01:19:07,458 --> 01:19:09,289
Never thought you had it in you.

1401
01:19:09,360 --> 01:19:12,329
Thank God I bought
that fire extinguisher.

1402
01:19:12,396 --> 01:19:14,455
We were just
trying to help her out.

1403
01:19:14,532 --> 01:19:15,999
Her and Little Dickey.

1404
01:19:16,067 --> 01:19:18,433
I'll just write this citation up
for electricity.

1405
01:19:18,502 --> 01:19:20,697
Thank you.
Thanks.

1406
01:19:31,282 --> 01:19:34,012
KENNETH: Believe it or not,
I need two more autographs,

1407
01:19:34,085 --> 01:19:35,950
and that will be it.

1408
01:19:36,020 --> 01:19:38,352
- So how's the new place?
- It's cute.

1409
01:19:38,422 --> 01:19:41,755
I'll tell you, the Bronx
is an up-and-coming borough.

1410
01:19:41,826 --> 01:19:44,624
You didn't lie, Kenneth.
It all looks incredible.

1411
01:19:44,695 --> 01:19:47,391
I told you they'd fix it up,
didn't I?

1412
01:19:47,465 --> 01:19:49,524
Friedmans, meet Alex and Nancy.

1413
01:19:49,600 --> 01:19:50,532
- Hi.
- Hey.

1414
01:19:50,601 --> 01:19:52,159
We can't thank you enough.

1415
01:19:52,236 --> 01:19:55,535
This is just a dream house.
It's so quiet.

1416
01:19:55,606 --> 01:19:57,733
Honey, won't this be perfect
for your sleep disorder?

1417
01:19:57,808 --> 01:19:59,469
I'm drowsy already.

1418
01:19:59,543 --> 01:20:01,340
Hey, who wants to run upstairs
and say hello?

1419
01:20:01,412 --> 01:20:03,039
Well, we should get going.

1420
01:20:03,114 --> 01:20:05,275
We should.
We have to...

1421
01:20:05,349 --> 01:20:05,974
Yeah.

1422
01:20:06,050 --> 01:20:07,642
Nonsense!

1423
01:20:07,718 --> 01:20:09,879
You pulled the woman
out of a burning building.

1424
01:20:09,954 --> 01:20:12,650
You'd break her heart
if you didn't say goodbye.

1425
01:20:12,723 --> 01:20:14,247
Come on!

1426
01:20:14,325 --> 01:20:17,522
Mrs. Connelly,
I brought you a surprise!

1427
01:20:17,595 --> 01:20:20,792
Mrs. Connelly!!

1428
01:20:20,865 --> 01:20:22,730
The hearing on this one.

1429
01:20:22,800 --> 01:20:26,099
Look who's here.
She's asleep.

1430
01:20:26,170 --> 01:20:27,797
Sweetheart.

1431
01:20:31,208 --> 01:20:33,369
She's stiff as a board.

1432
01:20:33,444 --> 01:20:37,039
No.
She's just hard-of-hearing.

1433
01:20:37,915 --> 01:20:39,906
Mrs. Connelly!

1434
01:20:39,984 --> 01:20:42,350
["Hawaii Five-O" theme plays]

1435
01:20:46,924 --> 01:20:48,915
She's dead.

1436
01:20:48,993 --> 01:20:51,359
Oh, poor thing.

1437
01:20:51,428 --> 01:20:53,225
No.

1438
01:20:53,297 --> 01:20:55,197
She can't be dead.

1439
01:20:55,266 --> 01:20:57,928
I guess it was just her time.

1440
01:20:59,336 --> 01:21:01,998
Come on, I'll call
the Friedmans.

1441
01:21:02,072 --> 01:21:04,336
You don't have to stay here
for this.

1442
01:21:04,408 --> 01:21:06,706
Come.
Come, come, come.

1443
01:21:09,680 --> 01:21:12,205
Must have been
all the excitement.

1444
01:21:34,038 --> 01:21:36,131
I can't believe it.

1445
01:21:36,207 --> 01:21:38,971
She was so full of life.

1446
01:21:40,110 --> 01:21:43,602
I mean, for all our differences,

1447
01:21:43,681 --> 01:21:47,913
that old lady really had
a lot of spunk.

1448
01:21:47,985 --> 01:21:50,112
A lot of it.

1449
01:21:51,188 --> 01:21:53,748
Do you think she's up in heaven?

1450
01:21:55,426 --> 01:21:56,859
Well, I'll tell you something.

1451
01:21:56,927 --> 01:22:01,193
Wherever she is,
she's in a better place.

1452
01:22:08,806 --> 01:22:12,833
You should have seen their faces
when I said she was a goner.

1453
01:22:12,910 --> 01:22:15,845
So cheap, though I wish
I could have been there.

1454
01:22:15,913 --> 01:22:16,675
Trust me.

1455
01:22:16,747 --> 01:22:20,114
It wasn't easy holding
me breath all that long.

1456
01:22:20,184 --> 01:22:23,642
Next time, I want a bigger cut
of your commission, Kenny.

1457
01:22:23,721 --> 01:22:26,281
What are you talking about?
We give you everything, Ma.

1458
01:22:26,357 --> 01:22:27,688
There's barely enough left

1459
01:22:27,758 --> 01:22:31,159
for Danny and I to have
a cruise to the Caribbean.

1460
01:22:31,228 --> 01:22:34,493
I'm the one putting
me caboose on the line.

1461
01:22:34,565 --> 01:22:35,156
Oh, come on.

1462
01:22:35,232 --> 01:22:36,995
You had it easy
with Alex and Nancy.

1463
01:22:37,067 --> 01:22:41,003
They were a nice couple.
I do hope they'll be all right.

1464
01:22:41,071 --> 01:22:42,299
Ah, they'll be fine.

1465
01:22:42,373 --> 01:22:44,841
He's a writer.
They thrive on adversity.

1466
01:22:44,908 --> 01:22:48,776
I hope his next book is better
than his last one.

1467
01:22:48,846 --> 01:22:52,942
Maybe this time he'll write
about something he knows.

1468
01:22:55,219 --> 01:22:57,278
NARRATOR:
Alex and Nancy's dream house

1469
01:22:57,354 --> 01:22:59,515
may have been
too good to be true.

1470
01:22:59,590 --> 01:23:02,423
But did they live
happily ever after?

1471
01:23:02,493 --> 01:23:05,519
Well, read the book.

1472
01:23:05,596 --> 01:23:06,995
[Claps twice]