1
00:00:26,560 --> 00:00:28,319
(FOOTSTEPS)
2
00:00:28,320 --> 00:00:30,199
LAUREN: Yes. Uh-huh.
3
00:00:30,200 --> 00:00:31,719
I'm not kidding.
4
00:00:31,720 --> 00:00:35,079
That's where this
"class act" brought me.
5
00:00:35,080 --> 00:00:38,159
Yeah, you heard me. Hooters.
6
00:00:38,160 --> 00:00:41,199
This is the first date I've
been on since the divorce...
7
00:00:41,200 --> 00:00:44,324
and the guy brings me to a Hooters.
8
00:00:46,000 --> 00:00:47,799
Is Tyler asleep?
9
00:00:47,800 --> 00:00:50,119
Oh, yeah! Whoo!
10
00:00:50,120 --> 00:00:52,679
- Not all the way.
- What's he doing?
11
00:00:52,680 --> 00:00:55,486
(SINGING) This T-shirt's on fire!
12
00:00:56,000 --> 00:00:57,479
Why is he singing that?
13
00:00:57,480 --> 00:01:00,001
(IN ROBOTIC VOICE)
Must save planet Earth.
14
00:01:01,840 --> 00:01:03,199
No, It's all good.
15
00:01:03,200 --> 00:01:04,959
- It's out.
- What's out?
16
00:01:04,960 --> 00:01:06,439
Oh, God, I'm coming home.
17
00:01:06,440 --> 00:01:08,005
Intruder alert.
18
00:01:11,200 --> 00:01:12,999
(WHIMPERS)
19
00:01:13,000 --> 00:01:15,639
Yeah, maybe that's not
actually a bad idea.
20
00:01:15,640 --> 00:01:18,759
Okay, here's the plan: You're
gonna call me in 10 minutes...
21
00:01:18,760 --> 00:01:21,839
so that I can tell this
dope I have an emergency.
22
00:01:21,840 --> 00:01:24,486
(IN NORMAL VOICE)
Can you give me my bath now?
23
00:01:25,120 --> 00:01:27,004
Make it five minutes.
24
00:01:27,280 --> 00:01:29,639
(ROCK MUSIC PLAYING
INDISTINCTLY ON SPEAKERS)
25
00:01:29,640 --> 00:01:31,842
(PEOPLE CHATTERING)
26
00:01:58,920 --> 00:02:02,359
Got you, uh, Buffalo shrimp
with the sauce on the side.
27
00:02:02,360 --> 00:02:05,928
They'll do that for me here.
I didn't know how you took it so...
28
00:02:07,160 --> 00:02:11,239
You realize that you're not actually
looking at my face right now.
29
00:02:11,240 --> 00:02:13,999
Very tight game going on there.
I don't wanna miss it.
30
00:02:14,000 --> 00:02:18,285
ANNOUNCER: You gotta really swing the
ax hard to get those, uh, hits in deep.
31
00:02:18,880 --> 00:02:20,599
- Hi, Jim.
- WOMAN 1: Hey, Jim.
32
00:02:20,600 --> 00:02:21,919
WOMAN 2: Hey, Jim.
33
00:02:21,920 --> 00:02:24,599
Cheese sticks in the
shape of a heart.
34
00:02:24,600 --> 00:02:27,770
From me, Bunny,
Bethany and Britney.
35
00:02:27,800 --> 00:02:30,606
Thank you, Bubbles.
That's very nice.
36
00:02:30,800 --> 00:02:32,679
- Have fun.
- See you.
37
00:02:32,680 --> 00:02:34,325
JIM: All right.
38
00:02:34,680 --> 00:02:37,519
Hey, I noticed that you made
eye contact with Boobies...
39
00:02:37,520 --> 00:02:40,485
but I'm not sure it was her
eyes you were looking at.
40
00:02:44,880 --> 00:02:50,639
So you organize
closets for a living.
41
00:02:50,640 --> 00:02:51,959
Yes.
42
00:02:51,960 --> 00:02:56,919
Is it hard to find people who can't organize
their own closets? How does that work?
43
00:02:56,920 --> 00:02:59,479
Well, it's not that they
can't do it for themselves.
44
00:02:59,480 --> 00:03:02,959
It's that they don't have the time
or they don't do it efficiently.
45
00:03:02,960 --> 00:03:05,519
Did you start with organizing
glove compartments...
46
00:03:05,520 --> 00:03:07,848
and just work your way
up from there or...?
47
00:03:10,960 --> 00:03:15,359
Listen, I'm sorry. I know this
is not going well. I, heh...
48
00:03:15,360 --> 00:03:17,961
I haven't been on a
date in 20 years.
49
00:03:20,760 --> 00:03:23,319
I haven't been on a
date since senior year.
50
00:03:23,320 --> 00:03:25,329
You get married in college?
51
00:03:25,720 --> 00:03:28,287
- Yep.
- Me too.
52
00:03:28,440 --> 00:03:29,999
- Really?
- Yes.
53
00:03:30,000 --> 00:03:32,759
Is this not the weirdest feeling
in the world right now?
54
00:03:32,760 --> 00:03:36,239
Like Weird Al starring
in Weird Science.
55
00:03:36,240 --> 00:03:40,047
Yes. I like that. You
just came up with that?
56
00:03:40,640 --> 00:03:42,039
Yes.
57
00:03:42,040 --> 00:03:43,730
Very good.
58
00:03:44,360 --> 00:03:48,559
You know, I think I will have
one of these Buffalo shrimp.
59
00:03:48,560 --> 00:03:50,410
And I'll have it with the sauce.
60
00:03:50,600 --> 00:03:51,847
Excellent.
61
00:03:57,200 --> 00:03:58,401
Oh, my God.
62
00:03:58,520 --> 00:04:00,085
Oh.
63
00:04:00,640 --> 00:04:03,639
- It's hot.
- Oh, my God. Who makes sauce this hot?
64
00:04:03,640 --> 00:04:04,999
I just...
65
00:04:05,000 --> 00:04:06,839
Did you drink my beer?
66
00:04:06,840 --> 00:04:08,359
No. No, no. I think you did.
67
00:04:08,360 --> 00:04:10,519
Boobies! Buddy! Britney!
68
00:04:10,520 --> 00:04:14,119
- Can you get me some water?
- Here. Have some French onion soup.
69
00:04:14,120 --> 00:04:15,719
(GASPING)
70
00:04:15,720 --> 00:04:17,285
(SLURPING)
71
00:04:21,200 --> 00:04:23,319
You know, I'm curious.
72
00:04:23,320 --> 00:04:25,399
With so many possible reasons...
73
00:04:25,400 --> 00:04:28,809
which one's the one
your wife left you for?
74
00:04:30,000 --> 00:04:31,690
Cancer.
75
00:04:37,480 --> 00:04:40,604
I'm sorry. I...
76
00:04:40,760 --> 00:04:44,442
naturally just assumed
you were divorced.
77
00:04:44,720 --> 00:04:46,399
It's okay.
78
00:04:46,400 --> 00:04:49,119
I naturally assumed your
husband shot himself.
79
00:04:49,120 --> 00:04:51,129
So we're even.
80
00:04:51,880 --> 00:04:53,286
(PHONE RINGING)
81
00:04:54,480 --> 00:04:56,364
I gotta take this.
82
00:04:57,280 --> 00:04:58,839
Hello.
83
00:04:58,840 --> 00:05:01,919
Whoa, whoa, whoa. Calm down!
84
00:05:01,920 --> 00:05:04,679
An avalanche in our backyard?
85
00:05:04,680 --> 00:05:06,644
I'll be home right away.
86
00:05:07,440 --> 00:05:09,768
It's an emergency. I'm sorry.
87
00:05:11,240 --> 00:05:13,727
Twenty dollars should
cover my half.
88
00:05:14,560 --> 00:05:17,119
JEN: He used the
emergency excuse on you?
89
00:05:17,120 --> 00:05:19,759
Like he's the one
that had to escape.
90
00:05:19,760 --> 00:05:22,399
- Like I'm so horrible.
- Huh.
91
00:05:22,400 --> 00:05:26,159
Well, everybody has a bad blind-date
story and this loser is yours.
92
00:05:26,160 --> 00:05:27,639
Who set you up?
93
00:05:27,640 --> 00:05:30,039
One of the mothers
in Tyler's class.
94
00:05:30,040 --> 00:05:33,799
Every time I see her she tells
me about her "friend Jim."
95
00:05:33,800 --> 00:05:36,719
And, "Oh, I just have to meet Jim."
96
00:05:36,720 --> 00:05:38,799
Well, she's a liar and an idiot.
97
00:05:38,800 --> 00:05:40,999
You should roofie her
and shave her head.
98
00:05:41,000 --> 00:05:43,487
(PHONE RINGS)
99
00:05:44,160 --> 00:05:46,442
Dick? Hi.
100
00:05:47,240 --> 00:05:50,119
- No, I can talk. I'm just at work.
- Great.
101
00:05:50,120 --> 00:05:52,402
Ha, ha. I know. I'm so sore.
102
00:05:52,920 --> 00:05:55,168
(GIGGLING)
103
00:05:56,800 --> 00:05:58,684
I L word you too.
104
00:05:59,480 --> 00:06:01,967
Okay. Talk to you later. Bye.
105
00:06:04,160 --> 00:06:07,639
Did you just use the
L word with Dick?
106
00:06:07,640 --> 00:06:09,399
We said it last night.
107
00:06:09,400 --> 00:06:12,999
Jen! That's great! Why
didn't you tell me?
108
00:06:13,000 --> 00:06:16,839
Well, you know. You finally went
on a date and it was so awful.
109
00:06:16,840 --> 00:06:20,279
I didn't want to make you feel lonelier
than you probably already feel.
110
00:06:20,280 --> 00:06:22,759
I'm fine, actually.
And I'm not lonely.
111
00:06:22,760 --> 00:06:25,359
I have two wonderful
men in my life:
112
00:06:25,360 --> 00:06:27,164
Brendan and Tyler.
113
00:06:27,320 --> 00:06:30,239
Brendan needs a girlfriend
and Tyler needs Ritalin.
114
00:06:30,240 --> 00:06:34,999
You're suggesting sex and drugs as a
remedy for my children's behavior.
115
00:06:35,000 --> 00:06:38,999
Aah. Oh, my God. This is the
dress I've been wanting forever.
116
00:06:39,000 --> 00:06:40,279
Ooh.
117
00:06:40,280 --> 00:06:42,719
What? No.
118
00:06:42,720 --> 00:06:45,439
- Who has that kind of money?
- Dick.
119
00:06:45,440 --> 00:06:47,999
Try this on. This is
a total MILF dress.
120
00:06:48,000 --> 00:06:51,409
We don't try on the clients' clothes.
It's one of our selling points.
121
00:06:51,440 --> 00:06:55,199
"We won't wear your underwear while
we're organizing your closets."
122
00:06:55,200 --> 00:06:56,481
I'm just saying.
123
00:06:56,960 --> 00:06:58,199
Back to work.
124
00:06:58,200 --> 00:07:02,759
I think right at the bottom of this rack,
we could fit some more shoes and storage...
125
00:07:02,760 --> 00:07:04,039
Jen!
126
00:07:04,040 --> 00:07:07,319
Kanye, come and change the baby.
127
00:07:07,320 --> 00:07:10,839
North is wet and I don't wanna
drop her on camera again.
128
00:07:10,840 --> 00:07:13,359
(LAUGHING)
129
00:07:13,360 --> 00:07:14,999
Okay. Take it off.
130
00:07:15,000 --> 00:07:18,479
No! Look, this whole rack
still has the price tags on.
131
00:07:18,480 --> 00:07:22,559
Technically, she hasn't taken ownership yet.
And besides, she's at the tennis club.
132
00:07:22,560 --> 00:07:24,399
Now, try this on.
133
00:07:24,400 --> 00:07:27,839
This dress can change a woman
from the kind a man cheats on...
134
00:07:27,840 --> 00:07:29,799
to the kind a man cheats with.
135
00:07:29,800 --> 00:07:31,286
(CHUCKLES)
136
00:07:32,600 --> 00:07:34,211
I'm gonna go pee.
137
00:07:39,760 --> 00:07:42,759
Expensive. Expensive.
138
00:07:42,760 --> 00:07:44,849
Ooh, most expensive.
139
00:07:53,720 --> 00:07:56,446
Wow. I didn't know you were
gonna look that good in it.
140
00:07:58,160 --> 00:07:59,599
Oh, honey, what's wrong?
141
00:07:59,600 --> 00:08:00,799
(WHIMPERS)
142
00:08:00,800 --> 00:08:02,959
I should have tried harder.
143
00:08:02,960 --> 00:08:06,119
I should have dressed sexier.
144
00:08:06,120 --> 00:08:09,403
You didn't do anything
wrong. Mark is a pig.
145
00:08:09,720 --> 00:08:11,759
But the kids don't know that.
146
00:08:11,760 --> 00:08:14,406
Agh. They just...
147
00:08:14,840 --> 00:08:17,039
They want us to get back together.
148
00:08:17,040 --> 00:08:19,359
And I don't know how
to explain it to them.
149
00:08:19,360 --> 00:08:23,319
Well, it's time for them to learn
that their dad is a big pile of crap.
150
00:08:23,320 --> 00:08:27,719
I get so depressed I need
to wear high, sexy heels.
151
00:08:27,720 --> 00:08:30,241
- Stop jogging.
- It helps.
152
00:08:30,560 --> 00:08:32,279
It's freaking me out.
153
00:08:32,280 --> 00:08:34,799
Look at me. I'm ridiculous.
154
00:08:34,800 --> 00:08:37,446
Come here. Come here.
155
00:08:38,960 --> 00:08:42,528
- Jen's got you.
- Now I see why they call you "Closet Queens."
156
00:08:43,440 --> 00:08:44,959
(CAMERAS CLICKING)
157
00:08:44,960 --> 00:08:46,999
- Instagram.
- Facebook.
158
00:08:47,000 --> 00:08:48,361
- Yes!
- Yes!
159
00:08:49,680 --> 00:08:53,439
JIM: It was awful, man. There
was no connection at all.
160
00:08:53,440 --> 00:08:56,239
I was so happy when you came
up with the avalanche thing.
161
00:08:56,240 --> 00:08:57,999
- That saved my life.
- Ha-ha-ha.
162
00:08:58,000 --> 00:09:01,359
And the way she dressed was like an
assistant principal or something.
163
00:09:01,360 --> 00:09:03,050
I felt like I was in detention.
164
00:09:03,840 --> 00:09:05,799
- I got a girl for you.
- Yeah?
165
00:09:05,800 --> 00:09:08,048
Blond lady. From my
belly-dancing class.
166
00:09:08,320 --> 00:09:10,045
A little bit on the plus size.
167
00:09:10,080 --> 00:09:13,319
But when she gets to moving, all
that flapping can make it happen.
168
00:09:13,320 --> 00:09:15,799
- No good.
- That big girl would hit that Hooters...
169
00:09:15,800 --> 00:09:19,925
like a hurricane. Agh! Chicken.
Steak. Fries. And a Diet Coke.
170
00:09:20,440 --> 00:09:22,051
- JIM: All right! Gotcha!
- Ha-ha-ha.
171
00:09:22,440 --> 00:09:24,559
I'm out, man. No
more dating for me.
172
00:09:24,560 --> 00:09:26,999
It's time and money I should
be spending with my kids.
173
00:09:27,000 --> 00:09:29,009
Look who it is.
174
00:09:29,320 --> 00:09:30,959
Hey, Larry!
175
00:09:30,960 --> 00:09:32,759
My all-star! Give me some.
176
00:09:32,760 --> 00:09:35,645
It's Hilary, Dad,
which is bad enough.
177
00:09:35,760 --> 00:09:37,371
You gonna leave me hanging?
178
00:09:38,240 --> 00:09:39,839
Boom. Guess what?
179
00:09:39,840 --> 00:09:41,839
The new Kodiak tents just arrived.
180
00:09:41,840 --> 00:09:43,530
In time for spring break.
181
00:09:43,560 --> 00:09:46,479
We're going camping in our
back yard again this year?
182
00:09:46,480 --> 00:09:48,091
Why? You too old for that?
183
00:09:48,120 --> 00:09:51,239
No. It's just some kids in my
class are going to Florida...
184
00:09:51,240 --> 00:09:54,523
or to Colorado or even Switzerland.
185
00:09:54,800 --> 00:09:57,319
You got a lot of rich
kids in your school.
186
00:09:57,320 --> 00:10:01,127
- We don't got that kind of money.
- I know. It'd just be nice to go someplace.
187
00:10:02,720 --> 00:10:05,359
You know where you could
take her that's cheap?
188
00:10:05,360 --> 00:10:07,562
My belly-dancing class.
189
00:10:07,720 --> 00:10:10,082
Oh. Put that away. Seriously.
190
00:10:13,120 --> 00:10:16,722
Excuse me, sir? I'm here to
pick up my basketball uniform.
191
00:10:16,760 --> 00:10:18,530
Did you just call me "sir"?
192
00:10:18,680 --> 00:10:21,884
- Yeah.
- I'm a girl.
193
00:10:22,720 --> 00:10:23,967
(GROANS)
194
00:10:25,320 --> 00:10:27,079
That's one fugly girl.
195
00:10:27,080 --> 00:10:28,759
Hey, man, that's his daughter.
196
00:10:28,760 --> 00:10:30,279
Whoa, whoa, whoa.
197
00:10:30,280 --> 00:10:31,970
- Whoa, whoa, whoa!
- Mm.
198
00:10:32,240 --> 00:10:34,439
LAUREN: Hey, honey, how's
the math homework coming?
199
00:10:34,440 --> 00:10:36,563
Are any of the tutor's
shortcuts helping?
200
00:10:37,320 --> 00:10:38,806
Did you go on a date?
201
00:10:39,880 --> 00:10:42,679
A date? Who told you
I went on a date?
202
00:10:42,680 --> 00:10:46,089
You should really change your e-mail
password, little Miss 072099.
203
00:10:46,840 --> 00:10:49,759
That is the last time I use
your birthday as a password.
204
00:10:49,760 --> 00:10:52,359
I can't believe you
read my e-mails.
205
00:10:52,360 --> 00:10:54,199
Brendan, I love you...
206
00:10:54,200 --> 00:10:57,882
but we have to learn to respect
each other's privacy in this house.
207
00:10:58,320 --> 00:10:59,759
Who's Jim?
208
00:10:59,760 --> 00:11:02,999
Nobody, honey. A buffoon.
209
00:11:03,000 --> 00:11:05,639
Trust me. It was nothing.
210
00:11:05,640 --> 00:11:07,999
- You promise?
- Promise.
211
00:11:08,000 --> 00:11:09,439
(TYLER MIMICKING SIREN)
212
00:11:09,440 --> 00:11:11,759
Hey! No wheels in the house!
213
00:11:11,760 --> 00:11:13,399
- I've told you this!
- Aah!
214
00:11:13,400 --> 00:11:14,959
Tackle him, Mom! Get him!
215
00:11:14,960 --> 00:11:17,479
Did your dad take you for
ice cream on the way home?
216
00:11:17,480 --> 00:11:19,639
- Spank him!
- Rocky Road and mint chocolate chip!
217
00:11:19,640 --> 00:11:22,639
- BRENDAN: Take him to the ground!
- I'm on top of the world! Goose, goose!
218
00:11:22,640 --> 00:11:24,119
(SCREAMING)
219
00:11:24,120 --> 00:11:26,199
- Yeah.
- You're dead!
220
00:11:26,200 --> 00:11:28,599
LAUREN:
No more titty twisters, guys!
221
00:11:28,600 --> 00:11:31,359
You only have two titties
for the rest of your lives!
222
00:11:31,360 --> 00:11:34,370
We need to learn to
love and respect them.
223
00:11:34,720 --> 00:11:35,967
I always did.
224
00:11:36,560 --> 00:11:38,319
How many times have I told you...
225
00:11:38,320 --> 00:11:41,639
not to pump him full of sugar
before you drop him off?
226
00:11:41,640 --> 00:11:44,359
Oh, come on. Going out with
Dad for an ice cream cone...
227
00:11:44,360 --> 00:11:46,079
is a lasting memory for a kid.
228
00:11:46,080 --> 00:11:49,639
LAUREN: Oh, okay. Well, if Dad
spent more time with him...
229
00:11:49,640 --> 00:11:52,479
then the memories wouldn't
have to be so "lasting."
230
00:11:52,480 --> 00:11:54,439
Boom, zing. Got me again.
231
00:11:54,440 --> 00:11:57,371
It's so great spending
time with you, Lauren.
232
00:11:57,840 --> 00:11:59,166
That doesn't go there.
233
00:12:01,440 --> 00:12:02,879
What are we gonna do?
234
00:12:02,880 --> 00:12:06,519
Oh. Oh, man! It's gonna
explode in 3, 2...
235
00:12:06,520 --> 00:12:07,721
Oh, thank God.
236
00:12:08,440 --> 00:12:12,281
That was close. It was almost
unorganized for a minute.
237
00:12:12,440 --> 00:12:14,199
- Hi.
- How are you?
238
00:12:14,200 --> 00:12:16,639
Good. Are you going to
Tyler's game on Saturday?
239
00:12:16,640 --> 00:12:19,571
- Yes! Of course!
- Great. I'm putting you down.
240
00:12:19,800 --> 00:12:21,679
It's what you do best.
241
00:12:21,680 --> 00:12:24,759
On the board, Mark. On the board.
242
00:12:24,760 --> 00:12:28,203
Lauren, the boys don't need a
board. They don't need a list.
243
00:12:28,360 --> 00:12:30,999
The know they can
count on me. That's it.
244
00:12:31,000 --> 00:12:33,119
TYLER: Dad, can you help
me with my homework?
245
00:12:33,120 --> 00:12:37,079
Oh, I can't, bud! Sorry! I gotta
go to a thing! Ask your mom!
246
00:12:37,080 --> 00:12:39,248
This is not an example
of my behavior.
247
00:12:40,720 --> 00:12:42,206
TYLER: Did you leave?
248
00:12:42,880 --> 00:12:45,479
(FIFTH HARMONY'S "MISS
MOVIN' ON" PLAYING ON RADIO)
249
00:12:45,480 --> 00:12:51,639
No, oh, oh
I'll never be that girl again
250
00:12:51,640 --> 00:12:53,439
No, oh, oh
251
00:12:53,440 --> 00:12:56,559
My innocence is wearin' thin
252
00:12:56,560 --> 00:12:59,639
But my heart is growin' strong
253
00:12:59,640 --> 00:13:04,999
So call me, call me, call me
254
00:13:05,000 --> 00:13:10,200
Miss movin' on
Oh, oh, oh
255
00:13:16,560 --> 00:13:18,808
- Larry, wanna shoot some hoops?
- Dad!
256
00:13:19,720 --> 00:13:20,919
- Oh!
- Aah!
257
00:13:20,920 --> 00:13:22,519
- Stop! Get Out!
- Oh!
258
00:13:22,520 --> 00:13:24,199
Why wouldn't you knock?
259
00:13:24,200 --> 00:13:26,319
I'm sorry, honey!
I didn't see anything!
260
00:13:26,320 --> 00:13:28,199
HILARY: Oh, thanks a lot!
261
00:13:28,200 --> 00:13:29,679
No, no, no!
262
00:13:29,680 --> 00:13:32,039
There was plenty of stuff to see!
263
00:13:32,040 --> 00:13:33,279
Uh...
264
00:13:33,280 --> 00:13:36,404
I mean, I didn't see
any gelling going on!
265
00:13:37,120 --> 00:13:39,482
- How about a fist bump?
- No!
266
00:13:40,520 --> 00:13:43,610
Larry, we both need this fist bump.
267
00:13:49,000 --> 00:13:50,690
We're cool.
268
00:13:56,120 --> 00:13:59,483
(ESPN SPEAKING INDISTINCTLY)
269
00:14:01,280 --> 00:14:03,528
Hey, how we doing in here?
270
00:14:03,680 --> 00:14:05,006
I'm talking to Mom.
271
00:14:05,160 --> 00:14:07,840
Great. What are you
guys talking about?
272
00:14:08,520 --> 00:14:10,324
It's girl stuff.
273
00:14:11,640 --> 00:14:15,128
Okay. Well, just so you know, I'm
pretty good with girl stuff too.
274
00:14:16,000 --> 00:14:17,645
Excuse me for a second.
275
00:14:19,640 --> 00:14:21,519
Thanks, Dad.
276
00:14:21,520 --> 00:14:23,484
But I just wanna talk to Mom.
277
00:14:24,200 --> 00:14:25,561
Sure, sure.
278
00:14:25,600 --> 00:14:27,131
Say hi for me.
279
00:14:30,600 --> 00:14:32,639
I'm all out of stickers.
280
00:14:32,640 --> 00:14:36,079
You're all out of face.
What happened to you? Ugh.
281
00:14:36,080 --> 00:14:37,964
Can I play with Espn now?
282
00:14:38,120 --> 00:14:40,322
Espn is having her quiet time.
283
00:14:40,680 --> 00:14:43,645
(WHISPERING)
Oh. With Invincible Mommy?
284
00:14:43,800 --> 00:14:45,411
"Invisible." Yes.
285
00:14:45,760 --> 00:14:48,199
(IN NORMAL VOICE) It's not fair
only Espn gets to see her.
286
00:14:48,200 --> 00:14:49,639
I know.
287
00:14:49,640 --> 00:14:51,479
I wish I could see her.
288
00:14:51,480 --> 00:14:52,966
Me too.
289
00:14:53,000 --> 00:14:54,159
Come here. Mm.
290
00:14:54,160 --> 00:14:56,886
(LOU GIGGLING & JIM GRUNTING)
291
00:14:59,680 --> 00:15:01,962
Eh, eh?
292
00:15:02,520 --> 00:15:03,679
Mac and cheese?
293
00:15:03,680 --> 00:15:05,319
- Mac and cheese.
- Yeah!
294
00:15:05,320 --> 00:15:07,329
(CROWD CLAPPING)
295
00:15:09,240 --> 00:15:11,647
(CROWD WHOOPING)
296
00:15:13,360 --> 00:15:15,839
LAUREN: I mean, he's looking
around here. Looking for you.
297
00:15:15,840 --> 00:15:18,879
You knew it was today.
I published the calendar.
298
00:15:18,880 --> 00:15:22,519
MARK: Laur, the meeting went longer than
expected. What do you want from me?
299
00:15:22,520 --> 00:15:26,599
You know what? I just want you
to be a dad! I can't take it!
300
00:15:26,600 --> 00:15:30,199
Why don't you hop over to the snack
bar, see if they sell any chill pills.
301
00:15:30,200 --> 00:15:34,689
"Chill pills"? Why don't you
"bust a move" back to 1990.
302
00:15:34,720 --> 00:15:35,921
(LAUREN LAUGHS)
303
00:15:36,160 --> 00:15:38,089
You're at a baseball game?
304
00:15:38,400 --> 00:15:40,719
I'm going on a mystery
trip with Dick.
305
00:15:40,720 --> 00:15:41,879
That's so great.
306
00:15:41,880 --> 00:15:44,679
I have no idea where we're going.
He's so much fun.
307
00:15:44,680 --> 00:15:46,291
I'm so excited!
308
00:15:46,720 --> 00:15:51,244
Now batting, number
23, Tyler Reynolds.
309
00:15:51,400 --> 00:15:54,759
Okay! Come on! Go Tyler! Whoo!
310
00:15:54,760 --> 00:15:57,359
- Come on, Tyler!
- They're putting this kid in?
311
00:15:57,360 --> 00:16:00,319
League rule. Every kid
has to play two innings.
312
00:16:00,320 --> 00:16:01,726
Even kids like him.
313
00:16:02,000 --> 00:16:04,159
- You shut your piehole.
- I'll kick your ass!
314
00:16:04,160 --> 00:16:07,921
- Or I'll stuff my entire fist in your mouth!
- Burt Reynolds scrawny reject!
315
00:16:08,200 --> 00:16:11,290
Hey, how old is that pitcher?
He looks like a NASCAR driver.
316
00:16:17,600 --> 00:16:19,559
- Strike!
- Come on!
317
00:16:19,560 --> 00:16:22,439
It's okay, buddy!
Shake it off! It's okay!
318
00:16:22,440 --> 00:16:25,359
Oh, no. He's not gonna have
one of his meltdowns, is he?
319
00:16:25,360 --> 00:16:28,319
No. He has two more swings.
It's gonna be okay.
320
00:16:28,320 --> 00:16:31,599
Okay. I better go now, then.
Oh, by the way, I need a week off.
321
00:16:31,600 --> 00:16:33,599
Oh, yeah, sure.
When's the vacation?
322
00:16:33,600 --> 00:16:35,165
Two weeks from today.
323
00:16:35,360 --> 00:16:37,119
Wait. No. That's not gonna work.
324
00:16:37,120 --> 00:16:40,449
Because that's spring break and
I've gotta take care of the boys.
325
00:16:40,960 --> 00:16:43,399
- Strike two!
- Why?
326
00:16:43,400 --> 00:16:45,439
It's okay, cutie, you got this!
327
00:16:45,440 --> 00:16:47,563
Check out what happens
when this kid strikes out.
328
00:16:47,880 --> 00:16:51,119
- You have been warned, Ratso!
- One more comment and it is go time!
329
00:16:51,120 --> 00:16:53,322
- I will crush you!
- So checkity check it!
330
00:16:54,600 --> 00:16:57,319
I thought Mark was taking the
kids whitewater rafting.
331
00:16:57,320 --> 00:16:59,079
Oh, shocker. He canceled.
332
00:16:59,080 --> 00:17:00,639
Business trip.
333
00:17:00,640 --> 00:17:04,319
Now I'm racking my brain trying to
figure out how to compete with that.
334
00:17:04,320 --> 00:17:06,039
You won't. There's no time.
335
00:17:06,040 --> 00:17:08,159
And why should we
both stay at home?
336
00:17:08,160 --> 00:17:11,489
You are the bestest
business partner ever. Heh.
337
00:17:12,520 --> 00:17:14,719
- Strike three!
- I hate this!
338
00:17:14,720 --> 00:17:16,799
I hate this! I hate this! I suck!
339
00:17:16,800 --> 00:17:18,126
No.
340
00:17:18,840 --> 00:17:21,281
Oh, boy. Here we go again.
341
00:17:21,400 --> 00:17:25,399
(SCREAMING)
342
00:17:25,400 --> 00:17:26,647
Oh, God.
343
00:17:26,800 --> 00:17:28,684
Maybe you should try badminton.
344
00:17:29,640 --> 00:17:32,519
- Maybe you should try mouthwash!
- And deodorant!
345
00:17:32,520 --> 00:17:35,639
- And some testosterone supplement!
- And some Cialis!
346
00:17:35,640 --> 00:17:37,490
I'm just assuming!
347
00:17:38,040 --> 00:17:40,242
And shave your neck!
348
00:17:40,880 --> 00:17:42,605
It's very hairy.
349
00:17:46,040 --> 00:17:47,279
LAUREN: God.
350
00:17:47,280 --> 00:17:49,403
(PANTING)
351
00:18:01,320 --> 00:18:02,965
(GRUNTS)
352
00:18:10,920 --> 00:18:12,406
(GROANS)
353
00:18:40,000 --> 00:18:41,406
What?
354
00:18:49,800 --> 00:18:51,445
Ugh.
355
00:18:53,080 --> 00:18:54,361
No.
356
00:18:54,680 --> 00:18:57,008
(WHIMPERING)
357
00:19:05,080 --> 00:19:06,691
Damn it.
358
00:19:06,840 --> 00:19:10,283
Rip that little loop off the back
of your shirt. And Step Three...
359
00:19:11,040 --> 00:19:12,999
- Daddy?
- Yes.
360
00:19:13,000 --> 00:19:15,851
What do you miss about Mommy?
361
00:19:16,440 --> 00:19:19,644
What do I miss about Mommy?
362
00:19:20,280 --> 00:19:22,005
Hmm.
363
00:19:22,200 --> 00:19:23,447
Everything.
364
00:19:24,680 --> 00:19:27,451
I miss her laugh.
365
00:19:27,720 --> 00:19:29,445
And her smile.
366
00:19:29,800 --> 00:19:33,439
And I miss her little nose
that she gave to you.
367
00:19:33,440 --> 00:19:36,119
Luckily you didn't get mine.
You'd look very weird.
368
00:19:36,120 --> 00:19:38,239
- Heh.
- JIM: Yeah.
369
00:19:38,240 --> 00:19:42,161
I miss every time The
Wizard of Oz was on.
370
00:19:42,480 --> 00:19:44,799
- I love that movie.
- I know.
371
00:19:44,800 --> 00:19:46,799
She would sing all the songs to us.
372
00:19:46,800 --> 00:19:49,765
Especially "Somewhere
Over the Rainbow."
373
00:19:51,240 --> 00:19:53,807
You know what I miss
most about her?
374
00:19:54,200 --> 00:19:55,765
What?
375
00:19:56,240 --> 00:19:59,046
Getting to tell her
how much I love her.
376
00:20:01,480 --> 00:20:04,570
Are you allowed to do
that with anyone else?
377
00:20:05,000 --> 00:20:07,248
Am I allowed?
378
00:20:07,640 --> 00:20:11,083
Your mother, before she left...
379
00:20:12,080 --> 00:20:17,002
that's all she would talk about,
was me finding somebody else.
380
00:20:18,080 --> 00:20:22,365
But I would tell her I can't
because she's my one and only.
381
00:20:23,880 --> 00:20:25,844
What did Mommy say?
382
00:20:26,320 --> 00:20:28,399
Your mom would say...
383
00:20:28,400 --> 00:20:33,367
my heart is so big that
it has room for two.
384
00:20:34,360 --> 00:20:37,609
That's another thing I
miss about your mother.
385
00:20:37,880 --> 00:20:41,004
She actually thought I was awesome.
386
00:20:42,000 --> 00:20:44,202
I think you're awesome, Daddy.
387
00:20:47,520 --> 00:20:48,719
Thank you.
388
00:20:48,720 --> 00:20:50,479
Hey, Dad? Um...
389
00:20:50,480 --> 00:20:54,199
I have a personal errand to run,
and I need to borrow the car.
390
00:20:54,200 --> 00:20:56,199
Well, you can't drive
without me yet...
391
00:20:56,200 --> 00:20:58,919
and somebody's got to stay
here with your sisters.
392
00:20:58,920 --> 00:21:02,319
Dad, I have a personal errand.
393
00:21:02,320 --> 00:21:05,879
What does that even mean?
You taking a hit out on somebody?
394
00:21:05,880 --> 00:21:08,731
Dad, she's monsterating.
395
00:21:09,080 --> 00:21:12,199
- What?
- I have my period!
396
00:21:12,200 --> 00:21:15,404
Oh. I forgot you get those.
397
00:21:16,640 --> 00:21:18,569
JIM: "Tampax Pearls."
398
00:21:19,200 --> 00:21:21,079
Douches. "Fresh Scent."
399
00:21:21,080 --> 00:21:24,319
"Medicated" and "Sweet Romance."
400
00:21:24,320 --> 00:21:28,889
Yeah, let's not be doing the
Sweet Romance douches quite yet.
401
00:21:29,560 --> 00:21:31,762
"Poise Feminine Wash."
402
00:21:32,040 --> 00:21:34,607
"Poise"? That's a
little close, guys.
403
00:21:35,200 --> 00:21:36,765
"Always Clean"?
404
00:21:37,400 --> 00:21:40,046
I could actually use those. Uh...
405
00:21:41,040 --> 00:21:44,130
What's a Diva Cup?
Is that to make coffee?
406
00:21:44,480 --> 00:21:46,170
I don't under...
407
00:21:47,880 --> 00:21:49,809
What kind do you guys use?
408
00:21:52,360 --> 00:21:54,130
Huh.
409
00:22:07,120 --> 00:22:08,560
- No!
- JIM: Hi.
410
00:22:11,120 --> 00:22:12,845
Don't tell me.
411
00:22:13,520 --> 00:22:15,324
- Lauren.
- Lauren.
412
00:22:15,480 --> 00:22:17,239
Mr. Hooters.
413
00:22:17,240 --> 00:22:18,719
Jim.
414
00:22:18,720 --> 00:22:22,163
What's going on in the sweater?
Just for the articles?
415
00:22:22,240 --> 00:22:27,002
No. These, um, actually
are for my son.
416
00:22:27,400 --> 00:22:30,171
Wow. What a progressive mother.
417
00:22:30,240 --> 00:22:35,844
No. I found a centerfold under
his bed, and I tore it up.
418
00:22:35,960 --> 00:22:38,719
From a magazine, not the Internet?
419
00:22:38,720 --> 00:22:40,919
He's old school. I respect that.
420
00:22:40,920 --> 00:22:42,485
Why'd you tear it up?
421
00:22:42,520 --> 00:22:45,200
Because as a woman I
was totally offended.
422
00:22:45,480 --> 00:22:48,445
You don't have to be. It's a
normal part of growing up.
423
00:22:50,280 --> 00:22:54,599
Okay, but he taped a picture of
our babysitter's face on it.
424
00:22:54,600 --> 00:22:57,759
Okay, that's sick. He needs help.
425
00:22:57,760 --> 00:22:59,559
Borderline Dahmer situation.
426
00:22:59,560 --> 00:23:02,639
Oh, very funny. Okay, but if you
had kids you'd understand...
427
00:23:02,640 --> 00:23:05,002
- Three daughters.
- ...it's complicated.
428
00:23:05,200 --> 00:23:06,799
You have three daughters?
429
00:23:06,800 --> 00:23:10,971
Yes. Do you have any other
children, or just the masturbator?
430
00:23:11,520 --> 00:23:13,439
He has a younger brother.
431
00:23:13,440 --> 00:23:15,802
Uh-huh. Maybe you'll do a
better job with that kid.
432
00:23:16,400 --> 00:23:20,400
I'm just joking. So what, you're here
to replace it before the kid finds out?
433
00:23:20,760 --> 00:23:25,079
Yes. But I can't tell what
magazine it's from. I just...
434
00:23:25,080 --> 00:23:27,567
Do you have any of the
centerfold remnants?
435
00:23:28,360 --> 00:23:29,971
Yes, I do.
436
00:23:33,760 --> 00:23:37,599
I, um... I tried to
tape it back up.
437
00:23:37,600 --> 00:23:39,802
Did a great job.
You can hardly tell.
438
00:23:43,360 --> 00:23:45,119
Snapper magazine.
439
00:23:45,120 --> 00:23:46,319
How can you tell?
440
00:23:46,320 --> 00:23:49,519
From the staple placement and
the way the paper feels...
441
00:23:49,520 --> 00:23:52,929
and I already have this copy at home.
How about a fist bump? Huh?
442
00:23:54,200 --> 00:23:55,890
Ah.
443
00:23:56,480 --> 00:23:58,330
- Yep, that's the one.
- Great.
444
00:23:58,640 --> 00:24:02,879
Excuse me. Actually, I thought of
something that might help us both...
445
00:24:02,880 --> 00:24:05,399
to save us some embarrassment.
446
00:24:05,400 --> 00:24:09,207
How about I bring that up to the
cashier, and you bring this up for me.
447
00:24:09,600 --> 00:24:13,359
- Whoa. Are these for your daughter?
- Yeah. She's 15.
448
00:24:13,360 --> 00:24:16,131
And her "friend" just paid a visit.
449
00:24:16,680 --> 00:24:20,599
Okay. Well, these are for
a much older "friend."
450
00:24:20,600 --> 00:24:24,839
A much heavier "friend" staying
in a much bigger "room"...
451
00:24:24,840 --> 00:24:26,929
than your daughter has.
452
00:24:27,560 --> 00:24:29,199
You lost me.
453
00:24:29,200 --> 00:24:30,719
You found me. Oh.
454
00:24:30,720 --> 00:24:32,999
- Can I get a bump?
- No.
455
00:24:33,000 --> 00:24:34,770
No.
456
00:24:36,840 --> 00:24:38,839
Okay. So you will do this.
457
00:24:38,840 --> 00:24:40,239
That'll be $13.
458
00:24:40,240 --> 00:24:41,965
Hi, I'm Tom.
459
00:24:42,760 --> 00:24:45,440
- Here's your change.
- Hi, I'm Tom.
460
00:24:45,560 --> 00:24:47,888
Yeah, you told me. Next.
461
00:24:50,240 --> 00:24:51,839
Oh.
462
00:24:51,840 --> 00:24:54,399
I remember the Slender Fit days.
463
00:24:54,400 --> 00:24:56,284
You must be doing your Kegels.
464
00:24:56,560 --> 00:25:00,003
Nowadays, I need six of
these taped together.
465
00:25:00,360 --> 00:25:02,085
Okay. Moving on.
466
00:25:02,200 --> 00:25:04,129
And we got...
467
00:25:04,680 --> 00:25:07,281
that and card.
468
00:25:08,200 --> 00:25:10,399
Rockin' Saturday night, huh, Lefty?
469
00:25:10,400 --> 00:25:13,365
Oh, that's not mine.
That's for her kid.
470
00:25:14,000 --> 00:25:15,929
Ooh, pretty progressive mom.
471
00:25:16,560 --> 00:25:19,719
- Yeah. That's what I said to her too.
- Why would you do that?
472
00:25:19,720 --> 00:25:22,999
- I'm sorry. I'll get you out of it.
- What is wrong with you?
473
00:25:23,000 --> 00:25:26,682
She just takes her homeschooling
real serious, so that's why...
474
00:25:27,800 --> 00:25:29,286
We get those back?
475
00:25:29,400 --> 00:25:33,366
She's gotta get home to the
kid and get him going.
476
00:25:34,120 --> 00:25:36,607
- Take care.
- Yeah.
477
00:25:37,080 --> 00:25:38,770
Hi, I'm Tom.
478
00:25:39,240 --> 00:25:42,319
LAUREN: Ugh, thanks a lot for
selling me out back there.
479
00:25:42,320 --> 00:25:44,199
Oh, she didn't even hear about...
480
00:25:44,200 --> 00:25:46,839
- I panicked. I'm sorry. Here.
- Oh, I noticed.
481
00:25:46,840 --> 00:25:47,999
Thank you.
482
00:25:48,000 --> 00:25:51,329
I can't believe you
have three girls.
483
00:25:51,520 --> 00:25:55,520
- What does that even mean?
- I just can't imagine you with three girls.
484
00:25:55,521 --> 00:25:56,721
Don't, then.
485
00:25:57,960 --> 00:26:00,527
I'm sorry. What are their names?
486
00:26:00,840 --> 00:26:03,771
Hilary, Lou and Espn.
487
00:26:04,240 --> 00:26:06,679
- "Espin." That's unique.
- Mm-hm.
488
00:26:06,680 --> 00:26:08,041
Is it Biblical?
489
00:26:08,600 --> 00:26:11,963
No. Named after my
favorite network.
490
00:26:14,200 --> 00:26:16,846
(HUMMING ESPN THEME)
491
00:26:19,240 --> 00:26:20,679
ESPN.
492
00:26:20,680 --> 00:26:22,439
- No.
- Yep.
493
00:26:22,440 --> 00:26:24,199
- What?
- Heh.
494
00:26:24,200 --> 00:26:25,439
Pretty cool.
495
00:26:25,440 --> 00:26:27,239
Oh, my God.
496
00:26:27,240 --> 00:26:30,091
Your wife must have been a saint.
497
00:26:30,880 --> 00:26:32,199
She was.
498
00:26:32,200 --> 00:26:35,768
Your husband must have been
very patient dealing with...
499
00:26:36,480 --> 00:26:38,039
Ah.
500
00:26:38,040 --> 00:26:42,319
Another charming sentiment
from Captain Cheese Sticks.
501
00:26:42,320 --> 00:26:45,639
You know what? Hooters is too good
for you. I'd never bring you there again.
502
00:26:45,640 --> 00:26:49,679
Well, then I guess I'll just have to learn
to get through life without Hooters.
503
00:26:49,680 --> 00:26:52,451
You've been doing a pretty
damn good job so far!
504
00:26:53,880 --> 00:26:57,801
- That doesn't make any sense.
- I didn't realize they were that big.
505
00:27:00,000 --> 00:27:01,770
(CAR ALARMS CHIRP)
506
00:27:03,960 --> 00:27:06,083
Oh, whatever.
507
00:27:07,080 --> 00:27:11,729
(TIRES SCREECHING)
508
00:27:16,080 --> 00:27:19,239
Guys, unfortunately your dad had
a business trip that came up...
509
00:27:19,240 --> 00:27:23,319
so your whitewater rafting trip is
gonna get postponed till this summer.
510
00:27:23,320 --> 00:27:25,999
- What?
- We're stuck here doing nothing all week?
511
00:27:26,000 --> 00:27:28,919
I have plans. I have
great plans actually.
512
00:27:28,920 --> 00:27:32,010
Like what? Bowling and
going to the mall?
513
00:27:32,200 --> 00:27:33,399
How did you know?
514
00:27:33,400 --> 00:27:34,719
(DOORBELL RINGS)
515
00:27:34,720 --> 00:27:37,491
- Bet that's Dad!
- Maybe he'll take us on his business trip!
516
00:27:39,600 --> 00:27:43,639
- Oh, hey. Is your mom home?
- What do you mean "Is your mom home"?
517
00:27:43,640 --> 00:27:46,161
- Who are you?
- I'm Jim.
518
00:27:46,240 --> 00:27:50,286
Jim? Jim66@DSG.com?
519
00:27:50,440 --> 00:27:53,359
What is this, Dateline NBC?
Yes, you got it right.
520
00:27:53,360 --> 00:27:55,799
- What do you want?
- I need to talk to your mother.
521
00:27:55,800 --> 00:27:58,639
- Not a big deal.
- She said she's not interested in you.
522
00:27:58,640 --> 00:28:02,799
Believe me, Frodo, I don't like her either.
I have to sort something out with her.
523
00:28:02,800 --> 00:28:06,163
- Brendan, honey, who's at the...?
- Hey.
524
00:28:06,920 --> 00:28:10,039
- Jim.
- You lied! Liar! You like him!
525
00:28:10,040 --> 00:28:12,799
What? I didn't lie, honey.
He's a buffoon.
526
00:28:12,800 --> 00:28:14,719
- Just like I said.
- BRENDAN: Don't talk to me!
527
00:28:14,720 --> 00:28:15,959
Ever!
528
00:28:15,960 --> 00:28:18,845
No, sweetie, come on.
529
00:28:19,960 --> 00:28:22,399
- What?
- Great.
530
00:28:22,400 --> 00:28:24,439
Which one was the masturbator?
The big one?
531
00:28:24,440 --> 00:28:26,999
Why are you here? What do you want?
532
00:28:27,000 --> 00:28:29,639
The old bag at the pharmacy
mixed up our cards.
533
00:28:29,640 --> 00:28:32,439
That's impossible because I
keep my cards very organized.
534
00:28:32,440 --> 00:28:34,159
I keep them in
color-coded sleeves...
535
00:28:34,160 --> 00:28:37,759
All right, I'll give this back to
whoever it belongs to. Lauren Reynolds.
536
00:28:37,760 --> 00:28:40,884
- You know her? Have you met her?
- Oh.
537
00:28:40,960 --> 00:28:45,370
God, I don't know what's wrong with me
lately. I feel like I'm losing my mind.
538
00:28:45,600 --> 00:28:47,039
Just come in.
539
00:28:47,040 --> 00:28:49,639
So wait. How do you
know where I live?
540
00:28:49,640 --> 00:28:53,279
I Googled you and "Closet
Queens" came up.
541
00:28:53,280 --> 00:28:56,404
- You're a lesbian?
- No.
542
00:28:57,840 --> 00:29:02,519
We organize "closets" and we're
the best, so we're "queens."
543
00:29:02,520 --> 00:29:03,881
"Closet Queens."
544
00:29:04,160 --> 00:29:06,647
Maybe the picture was confusing me.
545
00:29:07,040 --> 00:29:08,241
What picture?
546
00:29:11,440 --> 00:29:13,719
LAUREN: Ugh, those little weasels.
547
00:29:13,720 --> 00:29:16,399
Your girlfriend, like, does
she know we went on a date?
548
00:29:16,400 --> 00:29:18,559
Is she gonna kill me?
She looks nuts.
549
00:29:18,560 --> 00:29:20,239
- Lauren!
- Well, here she is.
550
00:29:20,240 --> 00:29:25,039
- I have to talk to you!
- I never touched her. She repulses me.
551
00:29:25,040 --> 00:29:26,719
- What?
- What?
552
00:29:26,720 --> 00:29:28,039
Jen, what's wrong?
553
00:29:28,040 --> 00:29:31,039
- It's over between me and Dick.
- Over?
554
00:29:31,040 --> 00:29:33,049
I thought you don't like dick.
555
00:29:33,560 --> 00:29:36,159
But you guys just started
using the L word.
556
00:29:36,160 --> 00:29:39,479
The L Word. I saw that show.
You guys love that one I'm guessing.
557
00:29:39,480 --> 00:29:42,119
I'm sorry. Who are you?
Are you here to fix something?
558
00:29:42,120 --> 00:29:45,483
- You should probably go and do that.
- I'm Jim. I'm not a threat.
559
00:29:45,920 --> 00:29:49,079
- Jim?
- The blind-date guy.
560
00:29:49,080 --> 00:29:52,039
- You said that was a disaster.
- Oh, it was.
561
00:29:52,040 --> 00:29:53,879
You said he was a chubby loser.
562
00:29:53,880 --> 00:29:55,079
He is.
563
00:29:55,080 --> 00:29:59,599
You didn't mention he has that high phlegmy
voice like he drinks a lot of dairy.
564
00:29:59,600 --> 00:30:01,439
- I know.
- Standing right here, ladies.
565
00:30:01,440 --> 00:30:02,759
Hearing everything.
566
00:30:02,760 --> 00:30:05,999
All right, our cards got switched
so we're just dealing with that.
567
00:30:06,000 --> 00:30:07,679
What happened with Dick?
568
00:30:07,680 --> 00:30:09,999
He just dropped a major bomb on me.
569
00:30:10,000 --> 00:30:11,439
He's married.
570
00:30:11,440 --> 00:30:14,211
No, worse. He's got kids.
571
00:30:14,440 --> 00:30:17,644
(BOTH CHUCKLE)
572
00:30:17,680 --> 00:30:20,360
Oh, you're still here. Why?
573
00:30:20,520 --> 00:30:23,439
You still have my card. "Why?"
574
00:30:23,440 --> 00:30:28,239
Wait. You're just gonna break up
with him because he has children?
575
00:30:28,240 --> 00:30:31,439
Five children. Five.
576
00:30:31,440 --> 00:30:33,039
What am I, Julie Andrews?
577
00:30:33,040 --> 00:30:36,403
I'm gonna sew matching outfits
and sing to escape the Nazis?
578
00:30:36,760 --> 00:30:39,399
He asked me if I wanted
to be "part of the team."
579
00:30:39,400 --> 00:30:42,639
- No, I don't!
- Maybe you should just go on the trip...
580
00:30:42,640 --> 00:30:45,571
and, you know, spend some
alone time with Dick.
581
00:30:45,600 --> 00:30:47,639
See, he wanted the
kids to come with us.
582
00:30:47,640 --> 00:30:51,119
He wanted me to get to know them in
a "fun and neutral environment."
583
00:30:51,120 --> 00:30:54,483
Eh, five kids? Is his
last name Theodopolis?
584
00:30:54,720 --> 00:30:57,526
- Yes.
- That's incredible. That's my boss.
585
00:30:57,760 --> 00:31:02,079
He owns all the Dick's Sporting Goods.
I manage the one in Ridgefield.
586
00:31:02,080 --> 00:31:04,282
Of course you do.
587
00:31:04,600 --> 00:31:08,559
Dick takes a lot of special needs people,
makes them "managers" of something...
588
00:31:08,560 --> 00:31:11,331
so they can have a business
card and feel important.
589
00:31:11,720 --> 00:31:13,119
Good for you!
590
00:31:13,120 --> 00:31:15,479
That explains it.
That explains a lot.
591
00:31:15,480 --> 00:31:18,239
You know, actually I applied
to work at Closet Queens...
592
00:31:18,240 --> 00:31:21,479
but they said there's already a
gorilla filling that position.
593
00:31:21,480 --> 00:31:22,719
(JIM CHUCKLES)
594
00:31:22,720 --> 00:31:24,439
It's a thyroid thing.
595
00:31:24,440 --> 00:31:27,159
- Heh.
- Where was he gonna take you?
596
00:31:27,160 --> 00:31:28,521
Africa.
597
00:31:28,600 --> 00:31:30,839
It was gonna be incredible.
Look at that.
598
00:31:30,840 --> 00:31:33,519
- Sun, sand, safaris.
- Wow.
599
00:31:33,520 --> 00:31:36,690
- LAUREN: Oh, my God.
- JIM: He must really like you a lot.
600
00:31:36,920 --> 00:31:39,519
Sorry, I'm not getting it at all.
601
00:31:39,520 --> 00:31:42,007
Okay. And this concludes
our business.
602
00:31:42,440 --> 00:31:44,919
Thank you. Africa.
603
00:31:44,920 --> 00:31:48,519
So he's just gonna go here all
by himself with his kids now?
604
00:31:48,520 --> 00:31:52,439
No. He's heartbroken now.
Nobody gets to go.
605
00:31:52,440 --> 00:31:53,971
Oh, damn it!
606
00:31:54,480 --> 00:31:58,399
Why does he have to have joint custody?
I thought the mother always got the kids.
607
00:31:58,400 --> 00:32:01,879
I mean, this is a week away.
I hope he gets his money back.
608
00:32:01,880 --> 00:32:04,639
- A week out? Not a chance.
- Aah!
609
00:32:04,640 --> 00:32:07,079
Well, maybe they do things
differently in Africa.
610
00:32:07,080 --> 00:32:10,479
I forgot you were an expert at
closets and African refund policies.
611
00:32:10,480 --> 00:32:13,968
Okay. Kick him out. Don't let
him talk to you like that.
612
00:32:14,080 --> 00:32:16,169
- LAUREN: Get out.
- I'm leaving.
613
00:32:16,600 --> 00:32:22,159
Jen. My boys would give anything
to go on a vacation like this.
614
00:32:22,160 --> 00:32:24,679
Mr. Theodopolis. Hi.
It's Jim Friedman.
615
00:32:24,680 --> 00:32:30,159
I don't mean to be a vulture picking on
the carcass of your dead relationship.
616
00:32:30,160 --> 00:32:31,479
But I wonder...
617
00:32:31,480 --> 00:32:33,399
if you'd sell me the vacation...
618
00:32:33,400 --> 00:32:36,039
you were gonna go on with
Freddy Krueger's sister?
619
00:32:36,040 --> 00:32:39,839
I have been saving and saving. I could
never give him full value for it...
620
00:32:39,840 --> 00:32:41,999
but something's better
than nothing, right, sir?
621
00:32:42,000 --> 00:32:43,719
It would just be the three of us.
622
00:32:43,720 --> 00:32:46,399
It would just be the four of
us so we only need one room.
623
00:32:46,400 --> 00:32:50,039
Oh, my God. Wait until
I tell the boys.
624
00:32:50,040 --> 00:32:52,239
Wait till I tell the girls!
625
00:32:52,240 --> 00:32:54,479
BOTH: We're going to Africa!
626
00:32:54,480 --> 00:32:55,681
(BOTH SCREAMING)
627
00:33:08,240 --> 00:33:10,799
MEN (SINGING): Welcome to Africa
628
00:33:10,800 --> 00:33:12,889
Welcome, welcome
629
00:33:13,240 --> 00:33:14,959
TYLER: I can't believe we're here.
630
00:33:14,960 --> 00:33:16,679
This is pretty cool, Mom.
631
00:33:16,680 --> 00:33:18,039
LAUREN: Yeah.
632
00:33:18,040 --> 00:33:21,759
(SINGING) Welcome,
welcome, welcome, welcome
633
00:33:21,760 --> 00:33:26,599
So I did good? This is better
than, like, bowling and the mall?
634
00:33:26,600 --> 00:33:28,370
TYLER & BRENDAN: Oh, yeah.
635
00:33:30,280 --> 00:33:31,479
(SIGHS)
636
00:33:31,480 --> 00:33:38,119
- Welcome, welcome
- Africa!
637
00:33:38,120 --> 00:33:41,879
Thank you so much. Thank you.
This is terrific. This is great.
638
00:33:41,880 --> 00:33:43,239
What the fu...?
639
00:33:43,240 --> 00:33:46,079
- Brendan!
- What the fudge is he doing here?
640
00:33:46,080 --> 00:33:47,399
(LAUGHING)
641
00:33:47,400 --> 00:33:49,799
BRENDAN: We're going on family
vacations together now?
642
00:33:49,800 --> 00:33:53,686
I have no idea why they
followed us to Africa.
643
00:33:56,960 --> 00:33:58,207
JIM: Whoa, whoa, whoa.
644
00:33:59,240 --> 00:34:02,439
Is this a sick dream? What
is happening right now?
645
00:34:02,440 --> 00:34:04,839
You're stalking my mom!
You're a predator!
646
00:34:04,840 --> 00:34:07,959
Hey! Don't talk to my dad
like that, butthole!
647
00:34:07,960 --> 00:34:10,479
- Language!
- How about you don't correct my daughter?
648
00:34:10,480 --> 00:34:12,639
She can say "butthole"
if she wants to.
649
00:34:12,640 --> 00:34:14,279
- Butthole! Butthole!
- Not you.
650
00:34:14,280 --> 00:34:18,041
I hear thunder on the
mountain. Ha-ha-ha.
651
00:34:18,920 --> 00:34:22,727
Welcome to South Africa.
Mfana at your service.
652
00:34:22,920 --> 00:34:24,119
Mfana.
653
00:34:24,120 --> 00:34:27,519
Uh, Jim. I mean, Dick.
654
00:34:27,520 --> 00:34:29,159
Dick Theodopolis.
655
00:34:29,160 --> 00:34:30,799
MFANA: Welcome, Dick Theodopolis!
656
00:34:30,800 --> 00:34:35,642
And you are traveling with one
little girl and two, uh...
657
00:34:38,440 --> 00:34:41,610
- Big girls.
- Ha-ha-ha. Of course.
658
00:34:41,680 --> 00:34:43,041
And you must be...
659
00:34:43,080 --> 00:34:44,279
Miss Palmer.
660
00:34:44,280 --> 00:34:46,719
Yes. Jen Palmer.
661
00:34:46,720 --> 00:34:48,319
Oh, I see what you did.
662
00:34:48,320 --> 00:34:50,159
I see what you did too.
663
00:34:50,160 --> 00:34:54,399
Are you ready for the most exciting,
amazing, and romantic week...
664
00:34:54,400 --> 00:34:56,479
of your entire lives?
665
00:34:56,480 --> 00:34:59,729
(SINGING)
Exciting, amazing, romantic!
666
00:35:01,080 --> 00:35:04,568
Yeah, we're here for the
zero romance package.
667
00:35:04,680 --> 00:35:07,359
You still haven't told the
children, my friends?
668
00:35:07,360 --> 00:35:08,799
Told the children what?
669
00:35:08,800 --> 00:35:11,119
- Do I have a new mommy?
- Mfana.
670
00:35:11,120 --> 00:35:14,719
Will you do us a favor?
Leave us alone for just two secs.
671
00:35:14,720 --> 00:35:16,039
(SPEAKS IN FOREIGN LANGUAGE)
672
00:35:16,040 --> 00:35:18,399
- (IN ENGLISH) Which means "of course."
- Thank you.
673
00:35:18,400 --> 00:35:22,279
All right. Listen. Would you just
reassure my son that we're not dating.
674
00:35:22,280 --> 00:35:24,839
We are not dating! I promise you.
675
00:35:24,840 --> 00:35:28,089
This is not a face I want to
wake up to every morning.
676
00:35:28,520 --> 00:35:29,759
Wow.
677
00:35:29,760 --> 00:35:32,999
You'd be lucky to wake up to that
every day. My mom is frigging hot.
678
00:35:33,000 --> 00:35:34,839
Did you just say your mom was hot?
679
00:35:34,840 --> 00:35:36,479
No! Not hot...!
680
00:35:36,480 --> 00:35:38,569
That's just wrong.
681
00:35:38,640 --> 00:35:41,119
- Tyler! Tyler!
- Whoo!
682
00:35:41,120 --> 00:35:43,039
- Get down from there!
- Wee!
683
00:35:43,040 --> 00:35:46,599
Oh, God! Please, please,
please, please get down!
684
00:35:46,600 --> 00:35:49,087
- Whoo!
- Aah!
685
00:35:49,480 --> 00:35:51,639
BRENDAN: This place is ginormous!
686
00:35:51,640 --> 00:35:52,959
TYLER: Oh, my God!
687
00:35:52,960 --> 00:35:55,686
MFANA: Follow me. Right this way.
688
00:35:56,280 --> 00:35:59,119
Welcome to your familymoon.
689
00:35:59,120 --> 00:36:00,401
TYLER & LOU: Whoa.
690
00:36:00,760 --> 00:36:03,008
BRENDAN: This is so cool.
691
00:36:03,640 --> 00:36:06,399
JIM: Now we're talking!
This is Africa, baby!
692
00:36:06,400 --> 00:36:07,639
We'll take this room.
693
00:36:07,640 --> 00:36:09,839
No! We want this room.
694
00:36:09,840 --> 00:36:14,329
Silly Theocropolises!
This is for the children.
695
00:36:15,120 --> 00:36:19,484
This room is for the
mama and the papa.
696
00:36:19,680 --> 00:36:21,439
(MFANA CHUCKLING)
697
00:36:21,440 --> 00:36:23,079
BRENDAN: Look at that bed.
698
00:36:23,080 --> 00:36:24,805
- HILARY: Huge.
- TYLER: Awesome.
699
00:36:25,240 --> 00:36:27,439
- HILARY: This is so cool.
- TYLER: Look at this candy.
700
00:36:27,440 --> 00:36:30,199
Here is where you make
more Theopotamuses.
701
00:36:30,200 --> 00:36:31,447
(LAUGHING)
702
00:36:32,440 --> 00:36:34,051
My bad.
703
00:36:34,640 --> 00:36:37,639
What part of "not dating"
does this bed fit into?
704
00:36:37,640 --> 00:36:40,239
- Oh, boy.
- Okay. You know what?
705
00:36:40,240 --> 00:36:41,999
Everybody fall into line.
706
00:36:42,000 --> 00:36:44,479
Brendan, Tyler honey,
I need you on the couch.
707
00:36:44,480 --> 00:36:46,399
Hilary, C-SPAN, Lou...
708
00:36:46,400 --> 00:36:47,959
Espn, Espn.
709
00:36:47,960 --> 00:36:50,759
Excuse me. Espn. I'm sorry, honey.
710
00:36:50,760 --> 00:36:52,319
Oh, my God.
711
00:36:52,320 --> 00:36:58,759
Dick was gonna propose to Jen.
A family honeymoon, a "familymoon."
712
00:36:58,760 --> 00:37:01,639
And your dumb friend ruined it.
Here's what's gonna happen.
713
00:37:01,640 --> 00:37:03,559
The first room we saw,
we're gonna take that.
714
00:37:03,560 --> 00:37:07,159
And you and your deranged boys can
have Wilt Chamberlain's headquarters.
715
00:37:07,160 --> 00:37:09,124
Dude, what are you eating?
716
00:37:09,880 --> 00:37:11,206
Mm. "Cherry Pan-ties."
717
00:37:11,920 --> 00:37:15,408
What are "Cherry Pan-ties"?
Let me see that.
718
00:37:15,680 --> 00:37:19,399
- Oh, no! God! Spit it out! Spit it out!
- Why?
719
00:37:19,400 --> 00:37:22,279
Just no Cherry Pan-ties ever!
Out, out, out!
720
00:37:22,280 --> 00:37:25,609
Hey, Mom. I guess this
used to be a firehouse.
721
00:37:27,680 --> 00:37:30,486
(SCREAMING)
722
00:37:37,320 --> 00:37:40,199
Look at this place. Wow.
723
00:37:40,200 --> 00:37:42,679
Hello, Mr. Snuffleupagus.
724
00:37:42,680 --> 00:37:44,644
Heh. Theodopolis.
725
00:37:44,840 --> 00:37:46,405
Hello...
726
00:37:48,560 --> 00:37:50,039
Girls.
727
00:37:50,040 --> 00:37:52,599
- Girls. They're girls.
- That's twice.
728
00:37:52,600 --> 00:37:54,768
Let's go, guys... Girls.
729
00:37:55,520 --> 00:37:57,999
23. We're looking for 23.
730
00:37:58,000 --> 00:37:59,929
There it is.
731
00:38:00,400 --> 00:38:02,284
(JIM CHUCKLES)
732
00:38:04,400 --> 00:38:06,239
- Ahem.
- Oh.
733
00:38:06,240 --> 00:38:07,439
- Hi!
- Hey.
734
00:38:07,440 --> 00:38:09,959
How you doing? I think we're
sharing a table with you.
735
00:38:09,960 --> 00:38:14,404
Yeah. Hi! I'm Eddy Wernick and this
is Ginger Wernick and our son, Jake.
736
00:38:14,760 --> 00:38:16,159
We're from Vancouver.
737
00:38:16,160 --> 00:38:17,879
Okay. I'm your son. All right?
738
00:38:17,880 --> 00:38:21,919
Ginger would've had to give birth to
me when she was 6. She's not my mom.
739
00:38:21,920 --> 00:38:23,839
Okay. Get it out
there for everyone.
740
00:38:23,840 --> 00:38:27,039
Sharing it, loving it.
No holding back. That's good.
741
00:38:27,040 --> 00:38:30,919
- All right. Let's do our thing. Come on.
- Isn't this place fantastic?
742
00:38:30,920 --> 00:38:33,039
- So romantic.
- Oh.
743
00:38:33,040 --> 00:38:35,163
JIM:
Good. Gonna have a nice trip here.
744
00:38:35,520 --> 00:38:37,239
- Um, Dad?
- Hey, sweetie.
745
00:38:37,240 --> 00:38:38,599
Where should I sit?
746
00:38:38,600 --> 00:38:40,199
You can sit anywhere you want.
747
00:38:40,200 --> 00:38:42,721
What about Mom? Where does she sit?
748
00:38:43,160 --> 00:38:45,044
Uh, where do you want her to sit?
749
00:38:45,440 --> 00:38:46,639
Next to me?
750
00:38:46,640 --> 00:38:48,999
Then that's where
she'll sit. Go ahead.
751
00:38:49,000 --> 00:38:51,719
Get right next to Lou.
Your mom's right there.
752
00:38:51,720 --> 00:38:53,199
Okay?
753
00:38:53,200 --> 00:38:55,050
All good.
754
00:38:55,760 --> 00:38:58,361
Ignoring it. Ignoring
the weirdness.
755
00:38:58,680 --> 00:39:00,006
HILARY: Ah.
756
00:39:00,080 --> 00:39:02,439
Where's the funeral at, boys?
757
00:39:02,440 --> 00:39:04,399
Where's the golf
tournament at, girls?
758
00:39:04,400 --> 00:39:06,799
Oh, no. No, no, no, no.
759
00:39:06,800 --> 00:39:08,479
Mfana. Mfana!
760
00:39:08,480 --> 00:39:10,799
Yes! Missus, uh...?
761
00:39:10,800 --> 00:39:14,199
Reynolds. Palmer!
Just not his wife, okay?
762
00:39:14,200 --> 00:39:16,239
I don't wanna sit here.
Not gonna happen.
763
00:39:16,240 --> 00:39:18,959
Ha, ha. I'm afraid it
must happen, ma'am.
764
00:39:18,960 --> 00:39:22,479
All tables are filled and
this is your family.
765
00:39:22,480 --> 00:39:23,966
Please sit with us.
766
00:39:24,040 --> 00:39:25,924
You give it a try.
767
00:39:27,200 --> 00:39:29,319
Every family fights.
768
00:39:29,320 --> 00:39:31,119
- You make it better.
- Mm-hm.
769
00:39:31,120 --> 00:39:32,319
- Yes?
- Yes.
770
00:39:32,320 --> 00:39:34,045
Try the chakalaka.
771
00:39:34,440 --> 00:39:36,959
- Hi, new people.
- Hello.
772
00:39:36,960 --> 00:39:42,041
This is Lauren, by the way, and her children,
the karate kids: Wax On and Wax Off.
773
00:39:42,120 --> 00:39:43,879
(GINGER & EDDY CHUCKLING)
774
00:39:43,880 --> 00:39:46,239
Isn't this place fantastic?
775
00:39:46,240 --> 00:39:48,966
Oh, it's so romantic.
776
00:39:49,560 --> 00:39:51,171
Sorry, what'd you say?
777
00:39:51,440 --> 00:39:53,563
So romantic!
778
00:39:53,640 --> 00:39:54,879
Easy.
779
00:39:54,880 --> 00:39:56,599
Keeping it classy, huh, Ginger?
780
00:39:56,600 --> 00:39:58,928
Oh, Jakey, you have
something on your face.
781
00:40:00,960 --> 00:40:02,764
Oh, it's a mole.
782
00:40:04,600 --> 00:40:06,479
Hey! You can't sit there.
783
00:40:06,480 --> 00:40:08,648
- Why not?
- My mom's sitting there.
784
00:40:09,040 --> 00:40:12,722
- Is she in the bathroom or something?
- No. She's sitting there right now.
785
00:40:14,200 --> 00:40:15,799
Are you on meds?
786
00:40:15,800 --> 00:40:16,999
Ow!
787
00:40:17,000 --> 00:40:20,283
It's okay, Espn. We'll get
Brendan another chair.
788
00:40:21,000 --> 00:40:22,199
(MOUTHS) Thank you.
789
00:40:22,200 --> 00:40:25,039
Whatever. I'm just gonna
go to the buffet.
790
00:40:25,040 --> 00:40:27,679
Tyler, come with me. They eat
fried caterpillars here.
791
00:40:27,680 --> 00:40:29,245
Hell, yeah!
792
00:40:29,400 --> 00:40:31,959
Very nice. Girls, why don't
you hit the buffet also?
793
00:40:31,960 --> 00:40:35,719
Larry, make sure you have plenty of beef,
okay? Gotta bulk up for the season.
794
00:40:35,720 --> 00:40:37,285
Love you. Go on.
795
00:40:39,320 --> 00:40:42,126
"Bulk up for the season"?
What is she, a bear?
796
00:40:42,320 --> 00:40:43,559
(GINGER & EDDY LAUGHING)
797
00:40:43,560 --> 00:40:47,799
She's trying out for girls' varsity this
year. A lot of big ladies out there.
798
00:40:47,800 --> 00:40:51,239
- She's gonna eat her way into the starting five.
- My God.
799
00:40:51,240 --> 00:40:53,479
(SINGING)
800
00:40:53,480 --> 00:40:56,604
Hello, everybody!
801
00:40:56,920 --> 00:40:59,559
My name is Nickens.
802
00:40:59,560 --> 00:41:02,999
And we are Thathoo!
803
00:41:03,000 --> 00:41:04,199
(CHEERING)
804
00:41:04,200 --> 00:41:08,359
We play traditional South African
isicathamiya music...
805
00:41:08,360 --> 00:41:13,168
with a little bit of American soul.
806
00:41:13,280 --> 00:41:14,599
(SPEAKS IN FOREIGN LANGUAGE)
807
00:41:14,600 --> 00:41:18,239
- Ha-ha-ha!
- (IN ENGLISH) It is getting a little hot in here.
808
00:41:18,240 --> 00:41:19,559
(WOMEN WHOOPING)
809
00:41:19,560 --> 00:41:23,599
Finally, my huge
African arms are free.
810
00:41:23,600 --> 00:41:25,404
Yeah, baby!
811
00:41:25,920 --> 00:41:27,360
Yes, they are.
812
00:41:27,560 --> 00:41:28,799
No.
813
00:41:28,800 --> 00:41:31,879
I would like to
welcome you to our...
814
00:41:31,880 --> 00:41:35,880
Fourth Annual Blended
Familymoon Week!
815
00:41:36,120 --> 00:41:37,401
(CHEERING)
816
00:41:39,600 --> 00:41:43,159
- What's a blended family?
- I don't know. It sounds painful, though.
817
00:41:43,160 --> 00:41:46,359
I am looking out at
all you beautiful...
818
00:41:46,360 --> 00:41:49,799
stepchildren, stepdads, stepmoms...
819
00:41:49,800 --> 00:41:54,559
half-brothers, same-sex domestic
partners, and good old-fashioned...
820
00:41:54,560 --> 00:41:57,039
booty calls gone wrong. Ha-ha-ha.
821
00:41:57,040 --> 00:41:58,759
(LAUGHING)
822
00:41:58,760 --> 00:42:03,079
Now, even though the
emphasis is on family...
823
00:42:03,080 --> 00:42:06,799
we here at the beautiful Sun
City Resort want to make sure...
824
00:42:06,800 --> 00:42:10,879
you get some alone time.
825
00:42:10,880 --> 00:42:13,287
Oh...
826
00:42:14,080 --> 00:42:18,759
Because alone time can
sometime take a long time...
827
00:42:18,760 --> 00:42:22,851
we have many supervised activities
for the young ones to do.
828
00:42:23,000 --> 00:42:26,759
We have a fabulous
jungle play zone.
829
00:42:26,760 --> 00:42:31,045
(BOY SCREAMING THEN
ALL KIDS SCREAM)
830
00:42:31,800 --> 00:42:34,685
NICKENS: A nightly pool party.
831
00:42:35,320 --> 00:42:39,320
Hey, Espn. Why aren't you getting in?
Is your mom afraid of the water?
832
00:42:41,880 --> 00:42:43,206
Good one, Mom.
833
00:42:43,480 --> 00:42:46,239
NICKENS: Magical animal time.
834
00:42:46,240 --> 00:42:51,048
Little one, wouldn't you like
to try petting a living animal?
835
00:42:51,560 --> 00:42:53,603
He's dead?
836
00:42:53,680 --> 00:42:55,159
(CRYING)
837
00:42:55,160 --> 00:42:59,799
NICKENS:
And our famous Tekula teen disco!
838
00:42:59,800 --> 00:43:02,401
(DANCE MUSIC PLAYING ON SPEAKER)
839
00:43:03,400 --> 00:43:07,207
Hey, dude. There's a lot
of hot chicks out here.
840
00:43:19,960 --> 00:43:21,207
(COUPLE LAUGHING)
841
00:43:22,160 --> 00:43:23,839
The best time.
842
00:43:23,840 --> 00:43:26,088
(WATER SPLASHING)
843
00:43:26,400 --> 00:43:28,329
What the heck is...?
844
00:43:28,840 --> 00:43:30,405
What is that?
845
00:43:31,680 --> 00:43:33,291
Are you kidding me?
846
00:43:33,840 --> 00:43:36,079
Oh, my God! Are you kidding me?
847
00:43:36,080 --> 00:43:38,119
Oh, my God! Oh, God!
848
00:43:38,120 --> 00:43:40,319
Oh, God! Crocodile!
849
00:43:40,320 --> 00:43:41,839
Crocodile attack!
850
00:43:41,840 --> 00:43:44,479
Help me! Somebody help me!
851
00:43:44,480 --> 00:43:47,126
Please don't kill me!
God! Oh, my God!
852
00:43:49,280 --> 00:43:53,087
Mr. Bellyflopolis, the
crocodiles are fake!
853
00:43:57,280 --> 00:43:59,005
They're fake?
854
00:43:59,280 --> 00:44:01,209
Yes, they're fake!
855
00:44:02,000 --> 00:44:05,759
Why would you make
them look so realistic?
856
00:44:05,760 --> 00:44:09,039
Well, to scare the baboons away.
857
00:44:09,040 --> 00:44:13,919
You just scared a zebra
stripe into my underwear!
858
00:44:13,920 --> 00:44:18,159
Don't worry! What happens
in Africa, stays in Africa.
859
00:44:18,160 --> 00:44:19,486
(ALL LAUGHING)
860
00:44:22,720 --> 00:44:25,639
(LAUREN PANTING)
861
00:44:25,640 --> 00:44:27,319
Oh. Oh.
862
00:44:27,320 --> 00:44:29,284
Tyler. Okay.
863
00:44:30,400 --> 00:44:32,479
Excuse me. Oh.
864
00:44:32,480 --> 00:44:33,727
Okay.
865
00:44:35,760 --> 00:44:38,281
(THUDDING THEN LAUREN GROANS)
866
00:44:38,840 --> 00:44:41,839
That's one way to get him
to sleep through the night.
867
00:44:41,840 --> 00:44:43,959
- You saw that?
- I actually heard it.
868
00:44:43,960 --> 00:44:45,679
I think they heard it in Uganda.
869
00:44:45,680 --> 00:44:47,759
It was a lot easier
when he was Lou's age.
870
00:44:47,760 --> 00:44:50,639
Of course, let me help you out here.
Here you are. You're home.
871
00:44:50,640 --> 00:44:52,479
- LAUREN: Thank you.
- Absol... Oh. Too late.
872
00:44:52,480 --> 00:44:54,679
- LAUREN: Aah!
- JIM: Whoa, whoa, whoa.
873
00:44:54,680 --> 00:44:57,599
All right, all right, all right.
Pick him up.
874
00:44:57,600 --> 00:44:59,919
Three-second rule.
Three-second rule.
875
00:44:59,920 --> 00:45:02,521
Good, good, good.
You're fine. He's fine.
876
00:45:02,760 --> 00:45:04,405
(LAUREN GROANS)
877
00:45:10,640 --> 00:45:13,047
(SIGHS)
878
00:45:17,000 --> 00:45:19,123
Okay, now I'm getting scared.
879
00:45:22,080 --> 00:45:23,770
Okay.
880
00:45:24,480 --> 00:45:26,728
Sleep, sleep.
881
00:45:27,720 --> 00:45:32,403
Too hot in here.
No blanket, okay? Shh.
882
00:45:33,240 --> 00:45:35,124
Here's your buddy.
883
00:45:37,760 --> 00:45:39,803
Love ya, love ya.
884
00:45:43,280 --> 00:45:45,323
ESPN: Mom's sleeping there.
885
00:45:45,800 --> 00:45:47,684
Okay, can I sleep with her?
886
00:45:48,000 --> 00:45:49,725
No, you'll crush her.
887
00:45:50,160 --> 00:45:53,443
No, I could get in with her and
spoon with her. It would be nice.
888
00:45:53,560 --> 00:45:57,207
- I don't wanna see that.
- No. Okay.
889
00:45:57,600 --> 00:46:01,247
We'll let Mommy rest.
I'll, uh... I'll figure it out.
890
00:46:01,360 --> 00:46:02,559
I love you.
891
00:46:02,560 --> 00:46:05,286
- I love you too, Dad. Good night.
- Sleep good.
892
00:46:05,520 --> 00:46:07,404
(GROANS)
893
00:46:08,120 --> 00:46:10,199
Me and you there, shorty.
894
00:46:10,200 --> 00:46:12,607
Okay, that's right.
895
00:46:12,720 --> 00:46:17,767
Right on my neck. That's gonna
make a nice evening for me.
896
00:46:17,920 --> 00:46:20,566
(GRUNTS)
897
00:46:20,720 --> 00:46:22,445
(SIGHS)
898
00:46:29,280 --> 00:46:31,323
(SNORTING)
899
00:46:37,680 --> 00:46:42,090
Hey, guys. It is time to wake up.
900
00:46:42,320 --> 00:46:46,239
Africa awaits us. It's
a beautiful morning.
901
00:46:46,240 --> 00:46:49,967
- ESPN: Is he crazy?
- HILARY: Go away. It's way too early.
902
00:46:50,520 --> 00:46:53,371
Lou, will you wake up
with Daddy, please?
903
00:46:53,560 --> 00:46:57,287
In the name of
Lucifer, let us sleep.
904
00:46:59,160 --> 00:47:03,285
LAUREN: Up, up, up, you two.
I have quite a day planned.
905
00:47:05,680 --> 00:47:07,119
(SIGHS)
906
00:47:07,120 --> 00:47:08,731
I need a coffee.
907
00:47:13,600 --> 00:47:15,165
Morning.
908
00:47:16,360 --> 00:47:18,679
- Big day planned?
- Oh, yeah.
909
00:47:18,680 --> 00:47:23,359
7:15 nature walk. 8:30 petting zoo.
10:00 a.m. native crafts.
910
00:47:23,360 --> 00:47:25,799
The boys, they're so excited.
911
00:47:25,800 --> 00:47:29,279
Really? My girls are ecstatic also.
Just jumping up and down on the bed.
912
00:47:29,280 --> 00:47:30,639
Can't believe they're here.
913
00:47:30,640 --> 00:47:32,839
- Cream?
- JIM & LAUREN: No, thank you.
914
00:47:32,840 --> 00:47:36,203
- Sugar?
- JIM & LAUREN: Yes, please.
915
00:47:37,960 --> 00:47:40,479
- Couldn't get the boys out of bed?
- No.
916
00:47:40,480 --> 00:47:41,679
The girls?
917
00:47:41,680 --> 00:47:44,599
The girls are probably
sleeping the rest of the trip.
918
00:47:44,600 --> 00:47:48,327
Possible exorcism coming for the
little one. We'll see what happens.
919
00:47:50,000 --> 00:47:52,879
Well, it's beautiful here.
920
00:47:52,880 --> 00:47:54,411
Oh, yeah.
921
00:47:54,960 --> 00:47:57,527
(RHINO GRUNTING)
922
00:47:58,560 --> 00:48:01,730
- I'll see you around.
- Yeah. Have a good one.
923
00:48:03,400 --> 00:48:06,080
You won't see that in New Jersey.
924
00:48:07,160 --> 00:48:11,239
Okay. All right. All right. Here we go.
Okay. Here you go, baby.
925
00:48:11,240 --> 00:48:13,919
That's it, sweetie. Take him down.
Take him! That's it.
926
00:48:13,920 --> 00:48:16,202
Back him. Use your weight!
Muscle him.
927
00:48:16,560 --> 00:48:18,279
- Unh.
- Use your body.
928
00:48:18,280 --> 00:48:21,006
- Unh!
- Oh, yeah! Finish it!
929
00:48:21,200 --> 00:48:24,051
- Ugh!
- And bam! That's it! Yes!
930
00:48:24,200 --> 00:48:26,368
Yes! Way to go, Larry.
931
00:48:29,360 --> 00:48:32,679
Winners up. Let's go.
Give me the ball. Buddy.
932
00:48:32,680 --> 00:48:34,325
Up top.
933
00:48:35,600 --> 00:48:38,759
And we go in. Let's go. Get loose.
934
00:48:38,760 --> 00:48:41,884
Cut. Cut! Larry! Move!
935
00:48:43,120 --> 00:48:45,049
Come on. What are you doing?
936
00:48:47,280 --> 00:48:48,999
Larry?
937
00:48:49,000 --> 00:48:51,159
Just cut! Go! Break it.
938
00:48:51,160 --> 00:48:53,089
Shake him off. Come on.
939
00:48:53,920 --> 00:48:55,406
Are you voguing right now?
940
00:48:56,400 --> 00:48:57,931
What is happening?
941
00:48:58,360 --> 00:48:59,925
Here! Just take the ball.
942
00:49:00,520 --> 00:49:02,559
Work the kid. Work him. Lose him.
943
00:49:02,560 --> 00:49:05,479
Cross him. Cross him over.
Cross him.
944
00:49:05,480 --> 00:49:07,079
Don't skip!
945
00:49:07,080 --> 00:49:09,079
Why you moving like that?
Is it the bra?
946
00:49:09,080 --> 00:49:12,409
Because if it's the bra, just take it off.
You don't need it anyways.
947
00:49:19,360 --> 00:49:20,721
What?
948
00:49:23,240 --> 00:49:25,759
What are you doing?
We just started.
949
00:49:25,760 --> 00:49:28,531
Is your boy okay? Why
does he wear a bra?
950
00:49:29,080 --> 00:49:30,406
She's a girl.
951
00:49:32,360 --> 00:49:33,919
You suck.
952
00:49:33,920 --> 00:49:36,079
MEN (SINGING)
You suck, you suck, you suck
953
00:49:36,080 --> 00:49:38,203
You suck, you suck, you suck
954
00:49:38,360 --> 00:49:41,439
You suck, you suck, you suck
You schooled by a little girl
955
00:49:41,440 --> 00:49:44,120
Your boy has no skills
956
00:49:45,280 --> 00:49:48,450
You schooled by a little girl
957
00:49:49,040 --> 00:49:51,129
(LAUGHING AND SCREAMING)
958
00:49:57,880 --> 00:49:59,359
(LAUREN WHIMPERING)
959
00:49:59,360 --> 00:50:01,164
Tyler, slow down!
960
00:50:01,480 --> 00:50:04,599
Come on, Mom! We're going
four miles per hour.
961
00:50:04,600 --> 00:50:07,719
That's plenty fast enough.
Fast and safe.
962
00:50:07,720 --> 00:50:10,359
Miss Palmer! It's okay to go fast.
963
00:50:10,360 --> 00:50:12,119
Oh, okay, Mfana.
964
00:50:12,120 --> 00:50:13,959
Watch me!
965
00:50:13,960 --> 00:50:16,479
Ha-ha-ha. Wee!
966
00:50:16,480 --> 00:50:19,159
- You're going the wrong way!
- Watch out, Grandma!
967
00:50:19,160 --> 00:50:20,805
(SCREAMING)
968
00:50:22,600 --> 00:50:23,926
My bad.
969
00:50:24,560 --> 00:50:28,479
WOMAN 1: The blending process
is really going well for us.
970
00:50:28,480 --> 00:50:33,439
My husband's 13-year-old still has
some hatred issues towards me.
971
00:50:33,440 --> 00:50:37,159
But it is becoming less
physical, so it's a start.
972
00:50:37,160 --> 00:50:39,838
- That's great.
- WOMAN 2: Good for you.
973
00:50:39,839 --> 00:50:43,799
I woke up this morning with a
pillow pressed against my face.
974
00:50:43,800 --> 00:50:47,839
But I could sense some guilt
afterwards. So that's progress.
975
00:50:47,840 --> 00:50:51,239
Hang in there, ladies. There's a
light at the end of the tunnel.
976
00:50:51,240 --> 00:50:53,039
This little angel here...
977
00:50:53,040 --> 00:50:57,079
is finally starting to think
of me as her second mom.
978
00:50:57,080 --> 00:50:59,647
Not just her former
gymnastics teacher.
979
00:50:59,680 --> 00:51:01,644
What are you drawing, honey?
980
00:51:01,680 --> 00:51:05,248
It's a picture of elephants stomping
on your head and making you dead.
981
00:51:06,480 --> 00:51:08,808
- Heh-heh-heh.
- Stop it.
982
00:51:10,200 --> 00:51:12,880
Don't worry. What happens
in Africa stays in Africa.
983
00:51:14,440 --> 00:51:15,639
Bump my fist?
984
00:51:15,640 --> 00:51:18,571
- Ha, ha. Jim's so funny.
- Yeah.
985
00:51:25,480 --> 00:51:28,570
(GROWLS THEN WHIMPERS)
986
00:51:33,680 --> 00:51:36,279
TYLER: My head is boiling,
Mom. Get it off.
987
00:51:36,280 --> 00:51:37,561
I'm trying.
988
00:51:37,600 --> 00:51:41,399
- Why did you tie it with so many knots?
- LAUREN: I didn't want it to come flying off.
989
00:51:41,400 --> 00:51:44,479
Oh, my God! What
happened to her face?
990
00:51:44,480 --> 00:51:47,879
- I painted it. She's a kitty cat.
- Are you wearing eye shadow?
991
00:51:47,880 --> 00:51:51,319
I made Daddy a princess,
but he washed the paint off.
992
00:51:51,320 --> 00:51:54,879
Well, not all the way off because
he looks a little like Lady Gaga.
993
00:51:54,880 --> 00:51:58,846
Why is this kid wearing a helmet? Are you
carrying him to bed again or something?
994
00:51:58,880 --> 00:52:02,559
No, I tied the chin strap too
many times. I can't get it off.
995
00:52:02,560 --> 00:52:06,399
Best thing about working at a sporting
goods store: Swiss Army knives.
996
00:52:06,400 --> 00:52:08,409
- Just be careful.
- JIM: I'll go easy.
997
00:52:09,760 --> 00:52:11,159
- Aah!
- Oh.
998
00:52:11,160 --> 00:52:13,399
- JIM: Uh-huh. Uh-huh.
- Thank you.
999
00:52:13,400 --> 00:52:16,399
- Daddy, I gotta go to the bathroom.
- You do? Okay.
1000
00:52:16,400 --> 00:52:17,965
Can she take me?
1001
00:52:18,760 --> 00:52:21,999
She's got her own life to live.
What do you gotta do? One or two?
1002
00:52:22,000 --> 00:52:24,646
- Number one.
- I can handle this.
1003
00:52:25,360 --> 00:52:27,119
- Okay.
- Will you watch him?
1004
00:52:27,120 --> 00:52:31,039
- And I mean watch him.
- Yeah, yeah, yeah. I got it, home slice.
1005
00:52:31,040 --> 00:52:32,279
- Okay.
- For sure.
1006
00:52:32,280 --> 00:52:34,279
What's number one again?
1007
00:52:34,280 --> 00:52:36,323
LAUREN: It's a pee-pee.
1008
00:52:38,760 --> 00:52:41,281
LOU:
And sometimes he wipes too hard.
1009
00:52:41,440 --> 00:52:43,679
LAUREN:
I'm sure he doesn't mean to.
1010
00:52:43,680 --> 00:52:47,487
LOU: No, he's a good daddy.
He just doesn't have a bagina.
1011
00:52:48,600 --> 00:52:51,159
Okay, honey. Let's wash your hands.
1012
00:52:51,160 --> 00:52:52,559
(GASPS)
1013
00:52:52,560 --> 00:52:57,759
He's a bad daddy! He made me
look like the walking dead!
1014
00:52:57,760 --> 00:52:58,959
Oh, no!
1015
00:52:58,960 --> 00:53:00,286
(LOU SOBBING)
1016
00:53:00,880 --> 00:53:02,479
Okay.
1017
00:53:02,480 --> 00:53:04,039
All right.
1018
00:53:04,040 --> 00:53:06,879
Let's see what we have
in the magic bag here.
1019
00:53:06,880 --> 00:53:09,799
Oh. Perfect.
1020
00:53:09,800 --> 00:53:12,162
All right. La, da, da.
1021
00:53:13,680 --> 00:53:15,166
You're pretty.
1022
00:53:16,680 --> 00:53:18,644
You're prettier.
1023
00:53:19,200 --> 00:53:20,845
(LOW VOICE) I said you are.
1024
00:53:21,640 --> 00:53:24,319
(LOW VOICE)
Shut up and let me do your makeup.
1025
00:53:24,320 --> 00:53:25,521
(GIGGLING)
1026
00:53:25,840 --> 00:53:27,479
LOU: Don't worry. They're around.
1027
00:53:27,480 --> 00:53:29,079
LAUREN: Oh, I'm not worried.
1028
00:53:29,080 --> 00:53:30,805
Maybe that's where they are.
1029
00:53:31,600 --> 00:53:33,006
BOY: Yeah!
1030
00:53:33,760 --> 00:53:35,159
BOY: Yeah!
1031
00:53:35,160 --> 00:53:36,486
Tyler?
1032
00:53:37,080 --> 00:53:38,441
- MAN: Hold on, now!
- Excuse me.
1033
00:53:38,840 --> 00:53:41,319
- JIM: Hold on, big time!
- Aah!
1034
00:53:41,320 --> 00:53:45,119
(JIM & TYLER SCREAMING)
1035
00:53:45,120 --> 00:53:48,319
Aah! Oh, my God!
I'm gonna kill him.
1036
00:53:48,320 --> 00:53:50,199
(TYLER SCREAMING)
1037
00:53:50,200 --> 00:53:52,439
Yeah, baby! Hold on, now!
1038
00:53:52,440 --> 00:53:53,999
Whoa! Whoa!
1039
00:53:54,000 --> 00:53:56,123
Easy, homey, easy!
1040
00:53:56,360 --> 00:54:00,519
Tyler! Get off that
dodo bird right now!
1041
00:54:00,520 --> 00:54:04,691
Whoa, whoa, whoa. Everything's fine.
The safety instructor's on top of it.
1042
00:54:04,920 --> 00:54:07,202
(SNORING)
1043
00:54:07,360 --> 00:54:08,599
Ugh.
1044
00:54:08,600 --> 00:54:11,724
Look at me, Mom! I'm a cowboy!
1045
00:54:11,760 --> 00:54:14,279
Well, partner, I bet I can
stay on longer than you!
1046
00:54:14,280 --> 00:54:15,959
It's on, sheriff.
1047
00:54:15,960 --> 00:54:18,083
No "longer"! No "staying"!
1048
00:54:18,440 --> 00:54:21,319
- JIM: I can't be beat!
- TYLER: I can't hear you! You're going down!
1049
00:54:21,320 --> 00:54:24,922
I'm never gonna fall off! Never!
1050
00:54:25,240 --> 00:54:28,125
(ALL CHEERING)
1051
00:54:30,200 --> 00:54:31,919
Whoo! One hand, mama!
1052
00:54:31,920 --> 00:54:33,246
Whoo... Aah!
1053
00:54:34,360 --> 00:54:36,399
CROWD: Ooh!
1054
00:54:36,400 --> 00:54:37,559
Good!
1055
00:54:37,560 --> 00:54:40,764
Yes! I win! I'm the king of Africa!
1056
00:54:42,080 --> 00:54:45,079
- TYLER: Whoa!
- Tyler!
1057
00:54:45,080 --> 00:54:47,123
(CROWD CHEERING)
1058
00:54:47,400 --> 00:54:48,559
(GASPS)
1059
00:54:48,560 --> 00:54:50,239
A winner!
1060
00:54:50,240 --> 00:54:51,799
Are you kidding me?
1061
00:54:51,800 --> 00:54:54,119
Yee-haw! Yee-haw!
1062
00:54:54,120 --> 00:54:57,199
Wow. Whoo, boom!
1063
00:54:57,200 --> 00:55:00,079
You're a moron, okay? Because
he could've broken his neck!
1064
00:55:00,080 --> 00:55:04,399
Mom. Mom, Mom. Did you see that?
I stuck the landing and did the bull dance.
1065
00:55:04,400 --> 00:55:05,719
I saw it.
1066
00:55:05,720 --> 00:55:08,319
Thank you so much for taking
me on this trip, Mom.
1067
00:55:08,320 --> 00:55:10,363
This is the best day of my life!
1068
00:55:10,840 --> 00:55:14,879
Okay. Great! Oh, good!
Oh, good. I love you so much.
1069
00:55:14,880 --> 00:55:18,279
- I'm so glad you're having fun.
- Aw.
1070
00:55:18,280 --> 00:55:19,606
(WHISPERING) You're welcome.
1071
00:55:19,800 --> 00:55:21,319
(WHISPERING) Thank you so much.
1072
00:55:21,320 --> 00:55:24,285
- Why you flipping my dad off?
- Huh? I'm not.
1073
00:55:30,120 --> 00:55:33,239
Yo! Check out white girl
in the neighborhood.
1074
00:55:33,240 --> 00:55:35,841
Am I right, my brothers? Woo-woo!
1075
00:55:36,280 --> 00:55:38,482
(IN FOREIGN LANGUAGE)
1076
00:55:40,320 --> 00:55:42,488
(ALL LAUGHING)
1077
00:55:42,640 --> 00:55:45,119
I can't believe your
dad's into my mom.
1078
00:55:45,120 --> 00:55:47,079
He doesn't like her.
She's into him.
1079
00:55:47,080 --> 00:55:51,719
No way. He's goofy and flabby all over.
My mom's gorgeous with a rocking body.
1080
00:55:51,720 --> 00:55:53,599
Hey, that's sick, man.
1081
00:55:53,600 --> 00:55:55,529
That was out of context!
1082
00:55:55,800 --> 00:55:57,279
Was it?
1083
00:55:57,280 --> 00:55:58,639
(ESPN CHUCKLES)
1084
00:55:58,640 --> 00:56:00,649
(CHILDREN LAUGHING)
1085
00:56:25,320 --> 00:56:28,999
You know, you should just go talk to
him because he probably won't bite.
1086
00:56:29,000 --> 00:56:32,044
Oh! No, no. I can't.
1087
00:56:32,440 --> 00:56:34,319
Got a boyfriend back at home?
1088
00:56:34,320 --> 00:56:37,879
Please. All the guys at my school
pretty much assume I'm a lesbian.
1089
00:56:37,880 --> 00:56:39,844
And not the hot kind.
1090
00:56:40,640 --> 00:56:44,208
Well, have you ever
considered, say, like...
1091
00:56:44,520 --> 00:56:45,919
changing your hairstyle?
1092
00:56:45,920 --> 00:56:49,319
Our barber only really knows
how to do this and crew cuts.
1093
00:56:49,320 --> 00:56:50,879
- So...
- A barber?
1094
00:56:50,880 --> 00:56:53,199
Like the kind with a pole outside?
1095
00:56:53,200 --> 00:56:56,519
He cut our grandfather's hair.
He cuts my dad's hair.
1096
00:56:56,520 --> 00:56:59,929
- And now he cuts our hair. Heh.
- May I just...?
1097
00:57:02,040 --> 00:57:03,401
Yup.
1098
00:57:06,960 --> 00:57:09,719
You have such a beautiful face.
1099
00:57:09,720 --> 00:57:12,400
(CHUCKLING)
1100
00:57:12,560 --> 00:57:17,368
You know, it's funny because I was
actually on my way to the salon.
1101
00:57:17,440 --> 00:57:19,529
Do you wanna come
check it out with me?
1102
00:57:20,240 --> 00:57:21,559
For what?
1103
00:57:21,560 --> 00:57:23,444
For a hairdo...
1104
00:57:23,560 --> 00:57:24,999
for a girl...
1105
00:57:25,000 --> 00:57:26,770
in this century.
1106
00:57:27,080 --> 00:57:31,399
I would but I'd have to
ask my dad for the money.
1107
00:57:31,400 --> 00:57:34,171
No. No, no, no. It's on me.
1108
00:57:35,440 --> 00:57:36,687
Really?
1109
00:57:37,320 --> 00:57:39,039
It would make me so happy.
1110
00:57:39,040 --> 00:57:41,447
Because I don't get to
do this with my boys.
1111
00:57:41,840 --> 00:57:44,079
- Come on, Prince Valiant.
- Heh.
1112
00:57:44,080 --> 00:57:46,959
- I don't know who that is but okay.
- Okay.
1113
00:57:46,960 --> 00:57:48,889
(BOTH LAUGHING)
1114
00:57:49,680 --> 00:57:51,599
Where do you buy your clothes?
1115
00:57:51,600 --> 00:57:54,199
Oh, Dad gets most of
our clothes from work.
1116
00:57:54,200 --> 00:57:57,959
Oh, then I guess we should be
grateful he doesn't work at Hooters.
1117
00:57:57,960 --> 00:58:00,288
No, my mom worked at Hooters.
1118
00:58:00,840 --> 00:58:02,239
She what?
1119
00:58:02,240 --> 00:58:06,923
Oh, my mom, she used to work at Hooters.
She managed the one over on Lake Street.
1120
00:58:08,960 --> 00:58:11,049
Oh. Heh.
1121
00:58:18,440 --> 00:58:21,559
So then he gets down on
one knee and proposes.
1122
00:58:21,560 --> 00:58:24,919
Right in the middle
of kickboxing class.
1123
00:58:24,920 --> 00:58:27,919
He's lucky he didn't get
kicked in the nuts.
1124
00:58:27,920 --> 00:58:29,804
Oh, my nuts! Ha-ha-ha.
1125
00:58:31,520 --> 00:58:36,759
Espn. This is the best passion
fruit I've ever tasted. Try it.
1126
00:58:36,760 --> 00:58:38,962
And I got some for your mom too.
1127
00:58:41,000 --> 00:58:42,359
Thank you.
1128
00:58:42,360 --> 00:58:43,919
You're welcome.
1129
00:58:43,920 --> 00:58:45,519
So how'd you two sexicans meet?
1130
00:58:45,520 --> 00:58:48,159
Yeah! Hitting them with the
hard questions. I like it.
1131
00:58:48,160 --> 00:58:50,239
Well, we met on a blind date.
1132
00:58:50,240 --> 00:58:53,279
- Argh. Those are the worst.
- Oh.
1133
00:58:53,280 --> 00:58:55,559
I've been on 10 blind
dates in my life.
1134
00:58:55,560 --> 00:58:58,919
All fatties. Ten for ten.
All fatties.
1135
00:58:58,920 --> 00:59:00,599
(ALL LAUGHING)
1136
00:59:00,600 --> 00:59:02,086
No offense, Jim.
1137
00:59:02,880 --> 00:59:04,239
What?
1138
00:59:04,240 --> 00:59:06,010
So what happened?
Where'd he take you?
1139
00:59:06,280 --> 00:59:08,559
Actually, Hooters.
1140
00:59:08,560 --> 00:59:09,799
Here we go.
1141
00:59:09,800 --> 00:59:15,404
Which was wonderful service,
nice people, really great.
1142
00:59:16,800 --> 00:59:19,279
Aw. How romantic.
1143
00:59:19,280 --> 00:59:22,719
- Oh.
- Aw, everyone's shimmying now.
1144
00:59:22,720 --> 00:59:24,919
Shimmy, shimmy, shimmy. Ha-ha-ha.
1145
00:59:24,920 --> 00:59:27,930
Why you no shimmy, Jimmy? Shimmy.
1146
00:59:28,240 --> 00:59:29,487
Jim?
1147
01:00:08,200 --> 01:00:11,961
Where's Larry? What
happened to Larry?
1148
01:00:12,000 --> 01:00:13,565
I'm right here, Dad.
1149
01:00:14,440 --> 01:00:17,199
Why were the, uh...?
1150
01:00:17,200 --> 01:00:19,402
How did this, uh...?
1151
01:00:19,640 --> 01:00:21,569
What's happening right now?
1152
01:00:22,160 --> 01:00:24,959
Um, well, Lauren gave me
her salon appointment...
1153
01:00:24,960 --> 01:00:26,199
Uh-huh.
1154
01:00:26,200 --> 01:00:28,926
and they put in hair
extensions and makeup...
1155
01:00:29,120 --> 01:00:34,199
and she even told them how to style
it and what to do, what not to do.
1156
01:00:34,200 --> 01:00:36,368
She was pretty amazing.
1157
01:00:37,000 --> 01:00:39,168
She was amazing, huh?
1158
01:00:39,200 --> 01:00:42,239
Do you want to go get
some sushi from the bar?
1159
01:00:42,240 --> 01:00:44,999
Whoa, whoa, whoa. Easy, scarecrow!
She's gotta bulk up!
1160
01:00:45,000 --> 01:00:48,363
Pork chops! Lamb chops! Tri-tip!
1161
01:00:49,360 --> 01:00:50,559
Uh...
1162
01:00:50,560 --> 01:00:52,569
Let's go get our beef on?
1163
01:00:52,800 --> 01:00:55,287
(BOTH CHUCKLE)
1164
01:00:55,640 --> 01:00:56,919
(SIGHS)
1165
01:00:56,920 --> 01:01:01,359
Uh-oh. I think someone new came to
dinner. A flying baby named Cupid.
1166
01:01:01,360 --> 01:01:03,199
- Heh-heh-heh.
- Ping.
1167
01:01:03,200 --> 01:01:06,239
Aah! You got me!
1168
01:01:06,240 --> 01:01:08,966
(BOTH GRUNTING)
1169
01:01:09,000 --> 01:01:10,279
(GINGER GIGGLING)
1170
01:01:10,280 --> 01:01:11,919
Now we're both in love.
1171
01:01:11,920 --> 01:01:13,719
(GINGER LAUGHING AND EDDY RETCHING)
1172
01:01:13,720 --> 01:01:15,126
(BOTH LAUGHING)
1173
01:01:15,240 --> 01:01:16,680
What's the matter?
1174
01:01:17,240 --> 01:01:18,679
What's the matter?
1175
01:01:18,680 --> 01:01:22,439
I just looked at my daughter,
and I didn't really recognize her.
1176
01:01:22,440 --> 01:01:24,290
Kind of threw me off for a minute.
1177
01:01:24,400 --> 01:01:28,679
Well, she's 15, you know? She's
bound to grow up at some point.
1178
01:01:28,680 --> 01:01:30,279
I know. Call me crazy.
1179
01:01:30,280 --> 01:01:34,201
I just thought maybe that would be
my decision because she's my kid!
1180
01:01:35,560 --> 01:01:38,279
Okay! Awkward moment.
Uncomfortable. Tension.
1181
01:01:38,280 --> 01:01:40,199
I'm leaving the table.
Who's with me?
1182
01:01:40,200 --> 01:01:42,448
- TYLER: Me! Me!
- BRENDAN: I'm going.
1183
01:01:43,040 --> 01:01:44,810
Wow.
1184
01:01:45,120 --> 01:01:46,359
Whoa. I just...
1185
01:01:46,360 --> 01:01:47,759
Can I ask you?
1186
01:01:47,760 --> 01:01:52,170
What made you think you could tart up
my daughter without my permission?
1187
01:01:53,040 --> 01:01:56,483
You're right. I'm sorry. I am.
1188
01:01:56,760 --> 01:02:00,239
I just find it hypocritical from
someone who nearly killed my son.
1189
01:02:00,240 --> 01:02:02,079
So it was getting even? Is that it?
1190
01:02:02,080 --> 01:02:04,759
No, it's not getting
even but I just...
1191
01:02:04,760 --> 01:02:06,719
- She's beautiful.
- JIM: Right.
1192
01:02:06,720 --> 01:02:09,479
With that pageboy Prince Valiant
haircut you gave her...
1193
01:02:09,480 --> 01:02:11,599
JIM: She looked very
nice with that haircut.
1194
01:02:11,600 --> 01:02:16,639
and the tracksuit, are you kidding me?
Dying on the inside to come out!
1195
01:02:16,640 --> 01:02:21,368
Her mother was tomboyish at her
age and that was fine with me.
1196
01:02:21,920 --> 01:02:24,361
You knew your wife when she was 15?
1197
01:02:24,480 --> 01:02:27,319
I knew my wife when I was 13.
I had a crush on her.
1198
01:02:27,320 --> 01:02:29,648
I have no idea why
she liked me back.
1199
01:02:29,840 --> 01:02:33,010
I was 90 percent goofy
and 10 percent loser.
1200
01:02:33,560 --> 01:02:39,119
Well, I was 60 percent Urkel
and 40 percent Screech.
1201
01:02:39,120 --> 01:02:43,399
Put it to you this way: If I didn't have braces,
my teeth would be hitting you right now.
1202
01:02:43,400 --> 01:02:46,365
(BOTH LAUGHING)
1203
01:02:50,520 --> 01:02:55,079
I'm sorry I yelled at you. I feel like a jerk
because I put your kid on a gooney bird...
1204
01:02:55,080 --> 01:02:59,171
- and I didn't ask your permission.
- No, but listen. You're right.
1205
01:03:01,520 --> 01:03:03,999
I need to let go of the
reins a little bit.
1206
01:03:04,000 --> 01:03:07,921
I just want to say on
behalf of Thathoo...
1207
01:03:08,160 --> 01:03:13,119
how happy we are to see you
two lovebirds finally...
1208
01:03:13,120 --> 01:03:14,519
blending.
1209
01:03:14,520 --> 01:03:18,039
No, we're not blending. We were
just having a conversation.
1210
01:03:18,040 --> 01:03:20,879
- Just happy we haven't killed each other yet.
- Heh.
1211
01:03:20,880 --> 01:03:23,039
(SINGING)
Yes, yes, you are blending
1212
01:03:23,040 --> 01:03:24,959
We don't feel that way
about each other!
1213
01:03:24,960 --> 01:03:27,279
Yes, you'll be touching
1214
01:03:27,280 --> 01:03:29,279
Like wine and bobotie
1215
01:03:29,280 --> 01:03:31,399
All right, let's go
and get our beef on!
1216
01:03:31,400 --> 01:03:33,399
And like malva pudding
1217
01:03:33,400 --> 01:03:34,839
All right, thank you.
1218
01:03:34,840 --> 01:03:37,759
I think they're blending over there!
Come now! Come now!
1219
01:03:37,760 --> 01:03:39,769
They're blending over here! Yes!
1220
01:03:49,920 --> 01:03:51,839
Daddy, look!
1221
01:03:51,840 --> 01:03:54,202
(ALL SPEAKING INDISTINCTLY)
1222
01:04:03,920 --> 01:04:05,884
(PURRING)
1223
01:04:16,440 --> 01:04:19,291
Ha-ha-ha. Woo-hoo!
1224
01:04:24,120 --> 01:04:26,926
What? I thought I saw an eagle.
1225
01:04:27,160 --> 01:04:30,967
I saw a camel! Ha-ha-ha.
1226
01:04:33,960 --> 01:04:37,119
Hey, Hilary. Uh... You
wanna come in our truck?
1227
01:04:37,120 --> 01:04:39,800
Shouldn't you be in your coffin?
The sun's out right now.
1228
01:04:39,840 --> 01:04:41,929
Take a walk, homes.
1229
01:04:45,120 --> 01:04:46,651
Eh, yo, yo, yo.
1230
01:04:46,800 --> 01:04:48,240
Go ahead.
1231
01:05:02,600 --> 01:05:03,919
Oh!
1232
01:05:03,920 --> 01:05:05,804
- JAKE: Oh, my God.
- HILARY: Ha-ha-ha.
1233
01:05:12,520 --> 01:05:14,039
Look, children.
1234
01:05:14,040 --> 01:05:16,322
The bush pig has
lost its parents...
1235
01:05:16,360 --> 01:05:19,689
so it is being cared for
by Mama and Papa Lion.
1236
01:05:19,840 --> 01:05:23,279
Even in nature there
are blended families.
1237
01:05:23,280 --> 01:05:24,839
- That's nice.
- EDDY: That's sweet.
1238
01:05:24,840 --> 01:05:26,599
(LION GROWLS THEN LOU SCREAM)
1239
01:05:26,600 --> 01:05:28,959
(LION CONTINUES GROWLING
AND PIG GROANING)
1240
01:05:28,960 --> 01:05:30,679
(CRUNCHING)
1241
01:05:30,680 --> 01:05:32,564
(PURRING)
1242
01:05:33,520 --> 01:05:36,559
I may have misread that situation.
1243
01:05:36,560 --> 01:05:39,439
- You think so, buddy?
- What is wrong with you?
1244
01:05:39,440 --> 01:05:42,450
(ALL SPEAKING INDISTINCTLY)
1245
01:05:45,200 --> 01:05:46,519
(SINGING IN FOREIGN LANGUAGE)
1246
01:05:46,520 --> 01:05:48,290
(JIM WHISTLING)
1247
01:05:57,840 --> 01:05:59,599
HILARY: Yeah, Lauren!
1248
01:05:59,600 --> 01:06:01,165
Yeah, baby!
1249
01:06:01,400 --> 01:06:04,046
- No!
- BRENDAN: You can do it, Mom!
1250
01:06:04,600 --> 01:06:06,848
HILARY: Go Lauren! Go Lauren!
1251
01:06:07,120 --> 01:06:09,129
Whoa.
1252
01:06:11,200 --> 01:06:12,606
(MOUTHS) Oh, my God.
1253
01:06:22,720 --> 01:06:24,251
(LAUREN LAUGHING)
1254
01:06:42,200 --> 01:06:45,919
Emotional. Time passing. Changes.
1255
01:06:45,920 --> 01:06:48,519
It's... it's... It's hard.
1256
01:06:48,520 --> 01:06:52,805
You gotta let it go. Turning
the page. Moving on.
1257
01:06:53,600 --> 01:06:55,279
She was a little kid just a...
1258
01:06:55,280 --> 01:06:57,439
Processing it. Accepting it.
1259
01:06:57,440 --> 01:06:59,799
The circle of life.
Painful, though.
1260
01:06:59,800 --> 01:07:01,411
It hurts, right?
1261
01:07:01,560 --> 01:07:03,599
No. Not for me. I got a boy.
1262
01:07:03,600 --> 01:07:05,450
But you're in the shithouse.
1263
01:07:05,640 --> 01:07:07,080
Thanks.
1264
01:07:08,000 --> 01:07:09,679
MFANA: Whoo! Aah!
1265
01:07:09,680 --> 01:07:12,959
The view is splendid!
1266
01:07:12,960 --> 01:07:14,399
(SPEAKS IN FOREIGN LANGUAGE)
1267
01:07:14,400 --> 01:07:16,568
(IN ENGLISH)
Which mean "who's next?"
1268
01:07:16,680 --> 01:07:17,919
Please, Mom?
1269
01:07:17,920 --> 01:07:20,439
What? That? Are you crazy? No.
1270
01:07:20,440 --> 01:07:23,479
If Mfana can do it, I could
do it. It's totally safe.
1271
01:07:23,480 --> 01:07:27,571
There is no way I'm going
to let you do that.
1272
01:07:28,280 --> 01:07:32,079
Unless I try it first...
1273
01:07:32,080 --> 01:07:34,799
- and make sure you can handle it.
- Yes!
1274
01:07:34,800 --> 01:07:36,919
TYLER: Yeah! Oh, yeah!
1275
01:07:36,920 --> 01:07:39,088
Your mom is gonna do it.
1276
01:07:41,360 --> 01:07:44,359
You have nothing to worry
about. You are in tight.
1277
01:07:44,360 --> 01:07:46,359
You got 50-gauge webbing here.
1278
01:07:46,360 --> 01:07:49,159
Possibly malaria is the only
thing you gotta think about.
1279
01:07:49,160 --> 01:07:51,119
Don't swallow anything
weird up there.
1280
01:07:51,120 --> 01:07:53,879
Okay. What happens if, like,
I wanna signal for help...
1281
01:07:53,880 --> 01:07:57,159
- or, like, if I decide to change my mind? Aah!
- JIM: Whoa!
1282
01:07:57,160 --> 01:07:58,479
Oh, yeah, baby!
1283
01:07:58,480 --> 01:07:59,918
- You look good!
- Oh, my God!
1284
01:07:59,919 --> 01:08:02,279
I change my mind! I change my mind!
1285
01:08:02,280 --> 01:08:04,399
- HILARY: Whoo!
- That's awesome!
1286
01:08:04,400 --> 01:08:07,039
(SCREAMING)
1287
01:08:07,040 --> 01:08:08,199
Oh.
1288
01:08:08,200 --> 01:08:10,359
(CHUCKLES)
1289
01:08:10,360 --> 01:08:11,721
Wow!
1290
01:08:12,880 --> 01:08:15,811
Oh, my God!
1291
01:08:16,040 --> 01:08:18,079
It's beautiful!
1292
01:08:18,080 --> 01:08:20,519
Go, Mama, go!
1293
01:08:20,520 --> 01:08:21,719
Aah! Aah!
1294
01:08:21,720 --> 01:08:23,439
There are giraffes!
1295
01:08:23,440 --> 01:08:27,319
Jim, there are giraffes right
there! I can see them!
1296
01:08:27,320 --> 01:08:29,719
Well, say hello for me!
1297
01:08:29,720 --> 01:08:31,199
(CHUCKLES)
1298
01:08:31,200 --> 01:08:32,679
Oh, wow!
1299
01:08:32,680 --> 01:08:34,599
(CHUCKLES)
1300
01:08:34,600 --> 01:08:37,041
Oh, this is so pretty!
1301
01:08:38,720 --> 01:08:42,119
Oh, my God! Elephants! Elephants!
1302
01:08:42,120 --> 01:08:43,719
Aah!
1303
01:08:43,720 --> 01:08:46,605
(HOWLING)
1304
01:08:47,040 --> 01:08:49,799
- JIM: Thatta girl!
- HILARY: Go Lauren!
1305
01:08:49,800 --> 01:08:52,039
(LAUREN CONTINUES HOWLING)
1306
01:08:52,040 --> 01:08:53,799
Why is she screaming?
1307
01:08:53,800 --> 01:08:57,799
She's not screaming. She's howling.
She's having fun.
1308
01:08:57,800 --> 01:08:59,239
(HOWLING)
1309
01:08:59,240 --> 01:09:01,799
(ALL HOWLING)
1310
01:09:01,800 --> 01:09:04,079
Looking good up there, baby!
1311
01:09:04,080 --> 01:09:08,519
Fly, Mrs. Thorpopolis!
Fly like the wind!
1312
01:09:08,520 --> 01:09:09,926
(LAUGHING)
1313
01:09:10,720 --> 01:09:13,924
Tyler! You've gotta try this!
1314
01:09:14,120 --> 01:09:17,608
(ENGINE CHUGGING)
1315
01:09:17,920 --> 01:09:19,451
Why you slowing down?
1316
01:09:19,720 --> 01:09:22,924
- We're out of gas.
- You're out of gas? What does that mean?
1317
01:09:23,320 --> 01:09:26,119
We used to have gas.
But now we're out.
1318
01:09:26,120 --> 01:09:27,559
Oh.
1319
01:09:27,560 --> 01:09:28,999
(CONTINUES HOWLING)
1320
01:09:29,000 --> 01:09:30,964
Oh, my God! What's happening?
1321
01:09:32,280 --> 01:09:33,527
Jim!
1322
01:09:33,720 --> 01:09:36,639
- We're out of gas!
- What?
1323
01:09:36,640 --> 01:09:39,279
- Oh, no.
- Oh, my God! No!
1324
01:09:39,280 --> 01:09:40,679
This is all your fault!
1325
01:09:40,680 --> 01:09:42,999
Don't worry! My dad's gonna
come up with a plan!
1326
01:09:43,000 --> 01:09:46,170
- What's the plan?
- Look for a gas station.
1327
01:09:46,280 --> 01:09:47,599
You suck.
1328
01:09:47,600 --> 01:09:50,159
Why did I let you
talk me into this?
1329
01:09:50,160 --> 01:09:51,399
JIM: Listen to me!
1330
01:09:51,400 --> 01:09:53,319
When you get close to the ground...
1331
01:09:53,320 --> 01:09:55,999
start running fast!
1332
01:09:56,000 --> 01:09:58,599
I have the legs of a corgi dog!
1333
01:09:58,600 --> 01:10:02,521
It doesn't matter right now!
Move those little babies!
1334
01:10:02,800 --> 01:10:05,919
You cannot let your kids
see you die like this!
1335
01:10:05,920 --> 01:10:07,719
(GRUNTING)
1336
01:10:07,720 --> 01:10:10,839
Go! Go! Go!
1337
01:10:10,840 --> 01:10:13,479
Now! Get those legs going!
1338
01:10:13,480 --> 01:10:15,239
(SCREAMING)
1339
01:10:15,240 --> 01:10:18,079
Oh, my God! Rhino!
1340
01:10:18,080 --> 01:10:19,799
- ESPN: Rhino, rhino!
- JIM: Oh, my God!
1341
01:10:19,800 --> 01:10:21,047
(SCREAMING)
1342
01:10:21,520 --> 01:10:22,759
JIM: Spread them!
1343
01:10:22,760 --> 01:10:24,999
- Oh, my God!
- Spread the legs!
1344
01:10:25,000 --> 01:10:27,799
- Aah!
- Her bagina!
1345
01:10:27,800 --> 01:10:29,650
Aah! Cw!
1346
01:10:30,000 --> 01:10:32,319
(LAUREN CONTINUES SCREAMING)
1347
01:10:32,320 --> 01:10:33,806
Yeah!
1348
01:10:34,200 --> 01:10:35,679
Ugh!
1349
01:10:35,680 --> 01:10:38,319
(ALL LAUGHING)
1350
01:10:38,320 --> 01:10:40,159
- Go, go, go, go, go!
- Dad!
1351
01:10:40,160 --> 01:10:42,806
(SNORING)
1352
01:10:44,160 --> 01:10:47,250
(DRUMMING AND
INDISTINCT CHATTERING)
1353
01:11:02,360 --> 01:11:04,608
(SIGHS)
1354
01:11:04,920 --> 01:11:06,645
Ooh.
1355
01:11:09,960 --> 01:11:12,288
Aah.
1356
01:11:12,440 --> 01:11:15,879
I didn't have you pegged for
the massage type of guy.
1357
01:11:15,880 --> 01:11:18,719
It's the first massage I'll
ever do in my life. I have to.
1358
01:11:18,720 --> 01:11:21,479
To see if they can rub my
pancreas out of my neck.
1359
01:11:21,480 --> 01:11:24,251
My God. You're welcome, by the way.
1360
01:11:24,680 --> 01:11:26,450
For what?
1361
01:11:26,520 --> 01:11:28,639
"For what?" For saving you.
1362
01:11:28,640 --> 01:11:30,479
You didn't save me.
1363
01:11:30,480 --> 01:11:32,319
You told me to keep running.
1364
01:11:32,320 --> 01:11:34,079
Why didn't you catch me?
1365
01:11:34,080 --> 01:11:36,599
I was supposed to catch you?
Who am I, Batman?
1366
01:11:36,600 --> 01:11:38,679
Coming at me like
700 miles an hour.
1367
01:11:38,680 --> 01:11:42,759
You're weighing about a buck fifty.
The inertia would rip my arms off my body.
1368
01:11:42,760 --> 01:11:47,159
Yes. That's me. I weigh a buck fifty.
If I'm holding your left ass cheek.
1369
01:11:47,160 --> 01:11:48,759
(JIM CHUCKLING)
1370
01:11:48,760 --> 01:11:51,759
- I don't know what women weigh.
- You don't know anything.
1371
01:11:51,760 --> 01:11:54,679
- JIM: Mm-hm. We'll see.
- LAUREN: Have a nice massage.
1372
01:11:54,680 --> 01:11:57,239
INSTRUCTOR: All right. Now do
the same on your partner...
1373
01:11:57,240 --> 01:12:01,879
while making sure to continue to
look deeply into each others' eyes.
1374
01:12:01,880 --> 01:12:04,731
(ALL MOANING)
1375
01:12:06,240 --> 01:12:08,999
- What is this?
- A scene out of The Doors?
1376
01:12:09,000 --> 01:12:11,279
I don't know. Uh...
1377
01:12:11,280 --> 01:12:13,879
Ma'am? Yeah. I booked a massage.
1378
01:12:13,880 --> 01:12:17,766
Yes. You've booked for the
Art of Couples massage.
1379
01:12:18,120 --> 01:12:22,639
- I just got a call from my babysitter...
- Oh. There was an avalanche in my back yard...
1380
01:12:22,640 --> 01:12:25,519
Come on! This is exactly
what you guys need.
1381
01:12:25,520 --> 01:12:27,999
We'll form a massage train.
I'll be the caboose.
1382
01:12:28,000 --> 01:12:31,443
- Unacceptable.
- I'm joking.
1383
01:12:31,560 --> 01:12:33,967
(MIMICS TRAIN HORN)
1384
01:12:34,000 --> 01:12:35,199
- Join us.
- No, ma'am.
1385
01:12:35,200 --> 01:12:37,239
- I'm so good.
- I'm being totally honest...
1386
01:12:37,240 --> 01:12:39,039
INSTRUCTOR:
I think you should. This way.
1387
01:12:39,040 --> 01:12:41,879
- And there you go.
- Oh, my God.
1388
01:12:41,880 --> 01:12:43,127
(JIM & LAUREN GRUNT)
1389
01:12:45,120 --> 01:12:46,399
Okay!
1390
01:12:46,400 --> 01:12:50,810
Let's loosen things up by
stroking your lover's neck.
1391
01:12:51,600 --> 01:12:53,529
- LAUREN: Okay
- INSTRUCTOR: Come on now.
1392
01:12:54,080 --> 01:12:55,479
Don't be bashful.
1393
01:12:55,480 --> 01:13:00,686
Give yourself over to the pleasure
of your loving partner's touch.
1394
01:13:04,360 --> 01:13:06,085
Yeah.
1395
01:13:07,560 --> 01:13:08,759
(LAUREN CHUCKLES)
1396
01:13:08,760 --> 01:13:10,405
- Hello.
- How are you?
1397
01:13:14,400 --> 01:13:15,599
Ow.
1398
01:13:15,600 --> 01:13:17,439
Remember to keep the touch soft.
1399
01:13:17,440 --> 01:13:20,246
Lightly brush your fingers
against her skin.
1400
01:13:21,760 --> 01:13:23,007
It's so...
1401
01:13:23,480 --> 01:13:24,999
Oh, God! What's happening?
1402
01:13:25,000 --> 01:13:26,639
- Is there a bug on me?
- No.
1403
01:13:26,640 --> 01:13:31,319
There's no bug. I was just trying
to get some skin, like she said.
1404
01:13:31,320 --> 01:13:33,919
- Well, that hurts the jugular.
- I won't do it.
1405
01:13:33,920 --> 01:13:36,771
I'm sorry. I don't know...
1406
01:13:37,240 --> 01:13:39,522
how to give you a...
1407
01:13:39,880 --> 01:13:44,404
(MOANING)
1408
01:13:47,000 --> 01:13:48,850
Okay, so...
1409
01:13:49,160 --> 01:13:50,885
- There you go.
- Oh.
1410
01:13:51,720 --> 01:13:54,879
- That's actually really nice. Heh.
- Good.
1411
01:13:54,880 --> 01:13:56,445
Oh, God.
1412
01:13:56,920 --> 01:13:58,119
Oh.
1413
01:13:58,120 --> 01:14:00,368
I feel like I'm relaxing.
1414
01:14:00,640 --> 01:14:03,279
Oh, it's wonderful.
1415
01:14:03,280 --> 01:14:06,159
Excuse me. Am I gonna get some
sort of rub action here...
1416
01:14:06,160 --> 01:14:08,479
or does the guy do all
the work in Africa?
1417
01:14:08,480 --> 01:14:10,170
Very funny, Mr. Moptopolis.
1418
01:14:10,360 --> 01:14:12,399
(LAUREN CHUCKLING)
1419
01:14:12,400 --> 01:14:14,841
But he's right. Ladies, it's
time for you to join in.
1420
01:14:15,080 --> 01:14:19,599
As your partner moves down to
your shoulders, reach out...
1421
01:14:19,600 --> 01:14:21,325
and touch his ears.
1422
01:14:21,640 --> 01:14:25,679
Gently rub the lobes between
your thumb and index finger...
1423
01:14:25,680 --> 01:14:28,439
as if you were rubbing
the morning dew...
1424
01:14:28,440 --> 01:14:31,399
- off a flower petal.
- Uh-huh.
1425
01:14:31,400 --> 01:14:33,639
- Are these your flower petals?
- Yes.
1426
01:14:33,640 --> 01:14:36,366
- Now rub the dew. Ha, ha. Do the dew.
- LAUREN: Heh.
1427
01:14:36,480 --> 01:14:40,879
I'd be doing you a really big favor if I
just yanked these goofy things right off.
1428
01:14:40,880 --> 01:14:43,845
Oh, just shut up,
schlumpy shoulders.
1429
01:14:44,080 --> 01:14:47,439
- I do have schlumpy shoulders.
- No, you don't. They're very nice.
1430
01:14:47,440 --> 01:14:50,879
But you know what helps if you
need to work on your posture?
1431
01:14:50,880 --> 01:14:54,159
Here, just lift your arms a little bit.
Watch, I'll show you. Right...
1432
01:14:54,160 --> 01:14:57,443
(JIM YELLS THEN LAUREN LAUGHS)
1433
01:14:58,080 --> 01:14:59,611
JIM: Feels very good.
1434
01:14:59,760 --> 01:15:02,359
- LAUREN: You have nice shoulders.
- Really?
1435
01:15:02,360 --> 01:15:04,999
You really have a lot of muscle.
1436
01:15:05,000 --> 01:15:06,439
- Not as much as you.
- Heh.
1437
01:15:06,440 --> 01:15:09,239
From carrying that kid around
and smashing his head.
1438
01:15:09,240 --> 01:15:10,559
(BOTH CHUCKLING)
1439
01:15:10,560 --> 01:15:12,599
- EDDY: Ugh.
- GINGER: Oh, yeah!
1440
01:15:12,600 --> 01:15:15,280
Mr. Wernick. Those are not
your wife's shoulders.
1441
01:15:15,640 --> 01:15:17,365
Busted!
1442
01:15:17,960 --> 01:15:21,084
Loving it though. Respect
the vision. I get it.
1443
01:15:21,360 --> 01:15:23,050
- Gotta go for it, right?
- You do!
1444
01:15:25,480 --> 01:15:27,479
(LAUREN SIGHS)
1445
01:15:27,480 --> 01:15:29,648
Whoa.
1446
01:15:29,720 --> 01:15:33,639
Mm. That was so relaxing.
1447
01:15:33,640 --> 01:15:35,079
(LAUREN CHUCKLES)
1448
01:15:35,080 --> 01:15:37,919
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
1449
01:15:37,920 --> 01:15:41,920
I hope I put your pancreas
back where it belongs.
1450
01:15:42,000 --> 01:15:44,159
I don't even know where
it is right now.
1451
01:15:44,160 --> 01:15:45,439
(JIM CHUCKLING)
1452
01:15:45,440 --> 01:15:49,119
- EDDY: Are you my sexy little wormhole?
- GINGER: Yeah, I'm your sexy little wormhole!
1453
01:15:49,120 --> 01:15:50,719
(GINGER GIGGLING AND EDDY LAUGHING)
1454
01:15:50,720 --> 01:15:55,369
(THUDDING THEN ALL LAUGH)
1455
01:15:55,640 --> 01:15:57,330
They have fun.
1456
01:16:00,680 --> 01:16:02,041
(CHUCKLES)
1457
01:16:03,760 --> 01:16:05,479
That's very pretty.
1458
01:16:05,480 --> 01:16:07,284
(BOTH LAUGH)
1459
01:16:10,880 --> 01:16:12,999
JIM: You were very nice. Thank you.
1460
01:16:13,000 --> 01:16:15,043
Heh. Oh, you know.
1461
01:16:15,360 --> 01:16:18,689
You're a strong woman.
Strong hands.
1462
01:16:19,160 --> 01:16:22,204
Mm. I'm glad you like my hands.
1463
01:16:26,200 --> 01:16:27,799
Daddy?
1464
01:16:27,800 --> 01:16:30,082
Can Lauren put me to bed?
1465
01:16:30,280 --> 01:16:33,882
Sweetheart, Daddy will put
you to bed in one second.
1466
01:16:34,160 --> 01:16:36,119
But I want Lauren.
1467
01:16:36,120 --> 01:16:39,802
Lauren... Another time,
Lauren will do that.
1468
01:16:39,960 --> 01:16:42,839
But I want her to put
me to bed tonight.
1469
01:16:42,840 --> 01:16:44,451
And Daddy said no.
1470
01:16:44,640 --> 01:16:46,479
- Mm!
- No.
1471
01:16:46,480 --> 01:16:50,279
- Mm!
- No!
1472
01:16:50,280 --> 01:16:53,131
(LOW VOICE) I want Lauren.
1473
01:16:54,680 --> 01:16:56,928
(LOW VOICE) I'm flattered.
1474
01:16:58,160 --> 01:16:59,759
(JIM LAUGHS)
1475
01:16:59,760 --> 01:17:02,531
That's good. You're all right.
1476
01:17:03,600 --> 01:17:07,009
Okay. How's that?
Are you all cozy now?
1477
01:17:07,400 --> 01:17:08,839
Yes.
1478
01:17:08,840 --> 01:17:12,522
Daddy? Can you give
us some alone time?
1479
01:17:15,320 --> 01:17:19,366
I could go to the bathroom outside.
Is that what you want? You got it.
1480
01:17:19,600 --> 01:17:21,484
Thrown out of my own tent.
1481
01:17:22,040 --> 01:17:23,890
I own him.
1482
01:17:24,240 --> 01:17:25,930
It seems that way.
1483
01:17:26,440 --> 01:17:29,120
Can you rub my head so
I have good dreams?
1484
01:17:30,960 --> 01:17:32,730
Of course.
1485
01:17:35,240 --> 01:17:37,204
What a cute little head.
1486
01:17:38,040 --> 01:17:39,839
(URINE SPLASHING)
1487
01:17:39,840 --> 01:17:41,963
Ew.
1488
01:17:42,320 --> 01:17:45,364
Couldn't go a little
further from the tent?
1489
01:17:45,640 --> 01:17:49,686
What do you want from me? There could
be gorillas out here, ready to kill.
1490
01:17:49,960 --> 01:17:53,050
(URINE CONTINUES SPLASHING)
1491
01:17:56,520 --> 01:18:00,839
Well, why don't you get them to
give you some Flomax or something.
1492
01:18:00,840 --> 01:18:03,486
JIM: Yep, getting older.
I'll give you that.
1493
01:18:04,120 --> 01:18:06,243
Can you sing to me?
1494
01:18:06,440 --> 01:18:08,449
Um, sure.
1495
01:18:09,520 --> 01:18:11,449
What should I sing?
1496
01:18:13,520 --> 01:18:20,285
(SINGING)
Somewhere over the rainbow
1497
01:18:20,640 --> 01:18:24,481
BOTH (SINGING): Way up high
1498
01:18:24,920 --> 01:18:29,682
LAUREN:
There's a land that I heard of
1499
01:18:29,960 --> 01:18:35,041
Once in a lullaby
1500
01:18:35,240 --> 01:18:39,159
Someday I'll wish upon a star
1501
01:18:39,160 --> 01:18:45,527
And wake up where the clouds
Are far behind me
1502
01:18:46,320 --> 01:18:50,439
Where troubles melt
like lemon drops
1503
01:18:50,440 --> 01:18:56,124
Away above the chimney tops
1504
01:18:56,360 --> 01:18:58,679
That's where
1505
01:18:58,680 --> 01:19:05,809
You'll find me
1506
01:19:34,400 --> 01:19:35,959
- There's a gorilla right there!
- Aah!
1507
01:19:35,960 --> 01:19:37,519
I'm just kidding! I'm sorry!
1508
01:19:37,520 --> 01:19:41,559
I'm sorry, I just couldn't handle how
emotional it was getting. I just... I'm sorry.
1509
01:19:41,560 --> 01:19:44,650
Get some rest. I didn't
mean to do that to you.
1510
01:19:44,760 --> 01:19:48,719
(CROWD CHATTERING INDISTINCTLY)
1511
01:19:48,720 --> 01:19:50,922
(APPLAUSE)
1512
01:19:53,560 --> 01:19:55,519
JIM: So get in your
stance. That's right.
1513
01:19:55,520 --> 01:19:58,159
And spread your legs just
a little bit. Like an inch.
1514
01:19:58,160 --> 01:20:00,399
Elbow up. It's all about balance.
1515
01:20:00,400 --> 01:20:03,046
That's right. That's right.
Keep your weight right there.
1516
01:20:03,320 --> 01:20:05,079
How do you even play cricket?
1517
01:20:05,080 --> 01:20:07,239
We're not playing cricket.
We're playing baseball.
1518
01:20:07,240 --> 01:20:10,719
The only thing at the hotel they had
was this stupid battle thingamajiggy.
1519
01:20:10,720 --> 01:20:11,919
Who's that guy?
1520
01:20:11,920 --> 01:20:15,159
He's some guy named Dale.
Uh, he'll be pitching to you.
1521
01:20:15,160 --> 01:20:17,279
Yeah, in cricket we
don't pitch, we bowl.
1522
01:20:17,280 --> 01:20:19,479
Hey, Dale. How much
am I paying you?
1523
01:20:19,480 --> 01:20:22,160
Five Brooklyn T-shirts from
your sporting goods store.
1524
01:20:22,200 --> 01:20:24,721
Okay, I'm gonna make it four
if you correct me again.
1525
01:20:25,240 --> 01:20:27,761
All right, Dale. Pitch...
Or bowl one in.
1526
01:20:30,320 --> 01:20:32,879
- I stink at this.
- No, it's not you. It's not you.
1527
01:20:32,880 --> 01:20:35,959
Dale, you think maybe you can
reach the plate? That would help.
1528
01:20:35,960 --> 01:20:38,367
Actually, in cricket
we bounce the...
1529
01:20:39,000 --> 01:20:40,519
I'll try. I'll try.
1530
01:20:40,520 --> 01:20:43,371
All right. Elbow up.
Come on. Get there.
1531
01:20:45,720 --> 01:20:47,519
I don't wanna do this!
1532
01:20:47,520 --> 01:20:48,879
Hey. What are you doing?
1533
01:20:48,880 --> 01:20:51,759
You don't throw your bat.
Or whatever this thing is called.
1534
01:20:51,760 --> 01:20:53,519
- A bat.
- Thank you.
1535
01:20:53,520 --> 01:20:57,486
You're an athlete. You're a sportsman.
You gotta respect your equipment.
1536
01:20:57,840 --> 01:20:59,679
- Yes, sir.
- We ain't leaving here...
1537
01:20:59,680 --> 01:21:02,850
till you hit the ball as
good as you ride an ostrich.
1538
01:21:03,440 --> 01:21:05,051
Pick up the bat.
1539
01:21:06,080 --> 01:21:09,279
Hey. I know you're
up there all alone.
1540
01:21:09,280 --> 01:21:11,919
It's scary. You feel like all
the pressure's on you.
1541
01:21:11,920 --> 01:21:15,124
But guess what?
The pressure is on him.
1542
01:21:16,240 --> 01:21:18,681
Doesn't look like he's
feeling the pressure.
1543
01:21:21,360 --> 01:21:25,399
Oh, he's feeling it all right. He doesn't
think he can get the ball past you.
1544
01:21:25,400 --> 01:21:30,242
I want you to look him right in the
eyes and let him know you own him.
1545
01:21:31,800 --> 01:21:34,479
Go ahead. That's it, big time.
1546
01:21:34,480 --> 01:21:35,886
Give him the stink eye.
1547
01:21:37,360 --> 01:21:39,159
(GRUNTING)
1548
01:21:39,160 --> 01:21:40,599
What's his problem?
1549
01:21:40,600 --> 01:21:42,799
Well, look at that.
You rattled him.
1550
01:21:42,800 --> 01:21:46,004
Okay. Dale, pitch it
in if ya got the guts.
1551
01:21:48,800 --> 01:21:50,559
JIM: Whoa!
1552
01:21:50,560 --> 01:21:53,639
Yes! Did you see that? I killed it!
1553
01:21:53,640 --> 01:21:55,399
Let's do it a hundred more times.
1554
01:21:55,400 --> 01:21:58,439
If I hit like that, my dad's
gonna start coming to my games.
1555
01:21:58,440 --> 01:21:59,879
What's going on here?
1556
01:21:59,880 --> 01:22:02,686
Jim just taught me how to
make the pitcher my bitch.
1557
01:22:02,840 --> 01:22:04,246
Ah-ah-ah.
1558
01:22:06,320 --> 01:22:08,479
My brother doesn't need you
to teach him how to hit!
1559
01:22:08,480 --> 01:22:10,648
Okay. You wanna show
him how to do it?
1560
01:22:11,000 --> 01:22:12,279
Let's see what you got.
1561
01:22:12,280 --> 01:22:14,642
I don't need to prove
anything to you, d-bag.
1562
01:22:15,400 --> 01:22:18,046
Dale, did he really
just call me a d-bag?
1563
01:22:18,120 --> 01:22:20,163
This shit just got real.
1564
01:22:21,520 --> 01:22:22,959
BRENDAN: I'm gonna kill you.
1565
01:22:22,960 --> 01:22:26,130
Okay, we'll see. Let's get your
gloves up. Face protected.
1566
01:22:26,280 --> 01:22:27,719
Kick his ass, Brendan!
1567
01:22:27,720 --> 01:22:29,879
- What's that?
- Kick his ass, Jim!
1568
01:22:29,880 --> 01:22:32,519
Uh-huh. Whoa! Whoa, whoa.
1569
01:22:32,520 --> 01:22:34,559
You see, you gotta
look at your target.
1570
01:22:34,560 --> 01:22:38,845
How about I put a picture of your babysitter
on my face? Will you look at it then? Huh?
1571
01:22:38,920 --> 01:22:41,559
- Oh, yeah, yeah.
- Just leave her out of this!
1572
01:22:41,560 --> 01:22:43,959
Use your right hand.
You're better with that one.
1573
01:22:43,960 --> 01:22:46,561
- All right, all right. Boom.
- Oh!
1574
01:22:47,480 --> 01:22:49,919
- You seem pissed at me.
- You just hit me!
1575
01:22:49,920 --> 01:22:52,999
No! Before that. Before that,
like when we first met.
1576
01:22:53,000 --> 01:22:57,119
- Just think that my mom could do better.
- First of all, she can't do better.
1577
01:22:57,120 --> 01:22:59,759
Because no one's better than me.
I am the greatest.
1578
01:22:59,760 --> 01:23:03,039
Secondly, I think it's nice that
you wanna protect your mommy.
1579
01:23:03,040 --> 01:23:04,479
I hate you!
1580
01:23:04,480 --> 01:23:07,570
Whoa, whoa, whoa. Calm down.
Calm down. That was good though.
1581
01:23:07,600 --> 01:23:10,599
Showing a little something in there.
Listen, being a man...
1582
01:23:10,600 --> 01:23:13,999
ain't about pissing and moaning
anytime something's bothering you.
1583
01:23:14,000 --> 01:23:17,443
It's about dealing with what's in
front of you. So deal with me.
1584
01:23:17,920 --> 01:23:19,326
(GRUNTS)
1585
01:23:19,520 --> 01:23:20,801
Are you okay?
1586
01:23:21,920 --> 01:23:24,521
That was sneaky. But I'm fine.
1587
01:23:25,160 --> 01:23:27,761
Does that make me a man now, Jimbo?
1588
01:23:28,640 --> 01:23:29,879
No.
1589
01:23:29,880 --> 01:23:32,765
Asking me if I was okay,
that was a start.
1590
01:23:34,080 --> 01:23:36,089
(SINGING) They are blending
1591
01:23:38,080 --> 01:23:40,009
They are bonding
1592
01:23:41,400 --> 01:23:45,491
Yeah, that's great. Didn't know you guys
worked out together, but it makes sense.
1593
01:23:45,840 --> 01:23:47,804
When one person
1594
01:23:47,960 --> 01:23:49,879
Meets another
1595
01:23:49,880 --> 01:23:52,321
Come together
1596
01:23:52,680 --> 01:23:55,599
Oh, they are blending
1597
01:23:55,600 --> 01:23:58,326
(BED VIBRATING AND VOICES WARBLING)
1598
01:24:02,960 --> 01:24:05,079
And then what happened?
1599
01:24:05,080 --> 01:24:10,399
The bowler threw it, and I
hit it like a mile away.
1600
01:24:10,400 --> 01:24:13,399
Yeah. And then Jim
taught me how to box.
1601
01:24:13,400 --> 01:24:16,799
And after 5 minutes,
I basically knocked him out.
1602
01:24:16,800 --> 01:24:17,999
TYLER: Yeah!
1603
01:24:18,000 --> 01:24:20,009
Well, that was nice of him.
1604
01:24:21,560 --> 01:24:24,279
Kind of worked out well,
they came on this trip.
1605
01:24:24,280 --> 01:24:27,211
TYLER: Yes, it did.
1606
01:24:35,680 --> 01:24:36,961
(GASPS)
1607
01:24:42,920 --> 01:24:46,919
JEN: Lauren, you looked so hot in
this dress, I had to buy it for you.
1608
01:24:46,920 --> 01:24:48,919
And by "buy," I mean "steal."
1609
01:24:48,920 --> 01:24:50,929
Hope you're having
fun on my vacation.
1610
01:24:55,200 --> 01:24:58,927
(BAND PLAYING JAZZ MUSIC)
1611
01:24:59,120 --> 01:25:03,679
So its tongue was ridiculous.
It got me, like, all over.
1612
01:25:03,680 --> 01:25:05,919
It was, like, in balls.
They were like:
1613
01:25:05,920 --> 01:25:09,329
BRENDAN: Like a stem going against
each other, head-to-head.
1614
01:25:10,200 --> 01:25:12,999
Dad. Did you comb your hair?
1615
01:25:13,000 --> 01:25:16,439
No. Got out of the shower
like this, I guess.
1616
01:25:16,440 --> 01:25:18,051
You took a shower?
1617
01:25:18,120 --> 01:25:21,439
I shower! I'm allowed
to shower. My God.
1618
01:25:21,440 --> 01:25:25,119
- I haven't taken a shower since we got here.
- I know. You stink. I love it.
1619
01:25:25,120 --> 01:25:26,599
Yeah, I stink bad.
1620
01:25:26,600 --> 01:25:30,043
Yeah, you stink real bad.
Your breath smells terrible.
1621
01:25:33,440 --> 01:25:34,926
Where's Lauren?
1622
01:26:11,320 --> 01:26:12,519
TYLER: Wow.
1623
01:26:12,520 --> 01:26:15,039
- Look at Mom.
- Hello.
1624
01:26:15,040 --> 01:26:16,605
Dad! Say something to her.
1625
01:26:17,200 --> 01:26:20,079
Yes, yes. You look very, very nice.
1626
01:26:20,080 --> 01:26:22,726
Oh, well, thank you. You showered.
1627
01:26:23,280 --> 01:26:26,799
Am I really known as the non-shower
guy? I shower all the time, guys.
1628
01:26:26,800 --> 01:26:27,959
(MOUTHS) No, he doesn't.
1629
01:26:27,960 --> 01:26:29,159
(JIM LAUGHING)
1630
01:26:29,160 --> 01:26:31,839
NICKENS: Ladies and gentlemen...
1631
01:26:31,840 --> 01:26:33,879
it's the final night...
1632
01:26:33,880 --> 01:26:38,559
of our blended family
experience here in Africa.
1633
01:26:38,560 --> 01:26:41,001
(ALL BOOING)
1634
01:26:42,440 --> 01:26:45,839
Our tradition is to invite the
kiddies to the pool area...
1635
01:26:45,840 --> 01:26:49,359
for our famous kids-only
safari buffet...
1636
01:26:49,360 --> 01:26:53,119
and 10-foot chocolate
rain forest fountain!
1637
01:26:53,120 --> 01:26:54,559
Can we go, Dad?
1638
01:26:54,560 --> 01:26:57,079
All right, go ahead.
Stay with you sisters though.
1639
01:26:57,080 --> 01:26:59,839
My boy here's a chocoholic.
You better watch out.
1640
01:26:59,840 --> 01:27:03,799
Or he's gonna jump in and come out
looking like a handsome Hershey bar.
1641
01:27:03,800 --> 01:27:05,729
(EDDY LAUGHING)
1642
01:27:06,240 --> 01:27:07,930
Did you see that?
1643
01:27:08,200 --> 01:27:11,688
I made him smile. He tried not
to but he couldn't help himself.
1644
01:27:12,360 --> 01:27:15,689
- We're gonna be a great family.
- Yes, we are.
1645
01:27:17,240 --> 01:27:18,799
Love you.
1646
01:27:18,800 --> 01:27:22,686
All of the little ones have gone.
1647
01:27:22,760 --> 01:27:25,531
Tonight the dining room is:
1648
01:27:26,160 --> 01:27:28,442
Adults-only.
1649
01:27:28,680 --> 01:27:31,159
Yeah, now we're getting there.
1650
01:27:31,160 --> 01:27:34,519
Let's have all you blended
lovers on the dance floor.
1651
01:27:34,520 --> 01:27:39,931
(BAND PLAYING "LOVE IS A
MANY SPLENDORED THING")
1652
01:27:45,000 --> 01:27:48,559
(SINGING) Love
1653
01:27:48,560 --> 01:27:53,163
Is a many blended thing
1654
01:27:54,800 --> 01:27:57,924
It's the April rose
1655
01:27:58,040 --> 01:27:59,959
That only grows
In the early spring
1656
01:27:59,960 --> 01:28:01,279
It's crazy, huh?
1657
01:28:01,280 --> 01:28:02,599
The song.
1658
01:28:02,600 --> 01:28:06,239
He took the word "splendid"
and replaced it with "blended."
1659
01:28:06,240 --> 01:28:08,839
So clever. It rhymes!
1660
01:28:08,840 --> 01:28:11,599
But, the real word is "splendored."
1661
01:28:11,600 --> 01:28:13,529
So wouldn't it be "blendored"?
1662
01:28:13,880 --> 01:28:15,199
What's this now?
1663
01:28:15,200 --> 01:28:17,199
I'm just rambling.
I'm sorry. What...?
1664
01:28:17,200 --> 01:28:19,919
- Heh.
- Are you ready, Mr. Chiapetolis?
1665
01:28:19,920 --> 01:28:22,600
"Chiapetolis"? All right.
He finally got it.
1666
01:28:22,601 --> 01:28:27,759
- Heh. Ready for what?
- You scheduled a star-gazing experience.
1667
01:28:27,760 --> 01:28:29,086
So...
1668
01:28:29,240 --> 01:28:32,364
Mrs. Chiapetolis, would
you like to come join me?
1669
01:28:32,600 --> 01:28:34,839
- Oh. Yeah.
- All right.
1670
01:28:34,840 --> 01:28:37,359
(BAND CONTINUES PLAYING)
1671
01:28:37,360 --> 01:28:40,839
Once
1672
01:28:40,840 --> 01:28:44,487
High on a windy hill
1673
01:28:44,840 --> 01:28:47,639
Or two hills, that's good
1674
01:28:47,640 --> 01:28:52,084
On a morning mist,
Two lovers kiss
1675
01:28:52,440 --> 01:28:54,359
Just a little bit farther.
1676
01:28:54,360 --> 01:28:56,319
- All right. Thank you.
- Okay.
1677
01:28:56,320 --> 01:28:57,806
(BOTH CHUCKLING)
1678
01:28:58,440 --> 01:29:00,244
MFANA: Here we are.
1679
01:29:00,320 --> 01:29:02,204
Dinner for two.
1680
01:29:02,360 --> 01:29:03,639
JIM: Oh, yeah.
1681
01:29:03,640 --> 01:29:04,919
Wow.
1682
01:29:04,920 --> 01:29:06,199
This is good.
1683
01:29:06,200 --> 01:29:11,479
I gotta give it up to Dick. He's probably
the most romantic guy on the planet.
1684
01:29:11,480 --> 01:29:14,411
Yeah, he's got the moves.
No doubt about it.
1685
01:29:14,440 --> 01:29:17,599
LAUREN: I bet this is where he
was gonna ask Jen to marry him.
1686
01:29:17,600 --> 01:29:18,799
JIM: Maybe.
1687
01:29:18,800 --> 01:29:21,999
We were able to get everything
you asked for this morning...
1688
01:29:22,000 --> 01:29:25,879
except the sticks of cheese
in the shape of a heart.
1689
01:29:25,880 --> 01:29:27,570
Cheese sticks?
1690
01:29:29,120 --> 01:29:30,759
Did you set this up?
1691
01:29:30,760 --> 01:29:32,405
I wanted a do-over.
1692
01:29:32,600 --> 01:29:34,404
For that first date fiasco.
1693
01:29:34,680 --> 01:29:36,166
I'm better than that.
1694
01:29:37,080 --> 01:29:39,851
(MFANA SPEAKING IN
FOREIGN LANGUAGE)
1695
01:29:42,320 --> 01:29:43,567
(IN ENGLISH) Which means:
1696
01:29:43,840 --> 01:29:48,799
"Lovers long for the moment their
souls may blend in a whisper."
1697
01:29:48,800 --> 01:29:52,083
- JIM: Mm.
- May this be your moment.
1698
01:29:52,760 --> 01:29:56,079
Did you eat pork chops...
1699
01:29:56,080 --> 01:29:58,479
with tuna fish today at lunch?
1700
01:29:58,480 --> 01:30:00,879
- Yes, I did.
- I can tell.
1701
01:30:00,880 --> 01:30:05,165
Apologies. I will brush my teeth
presently, Mr. Lollipopolis.
1702
01:30:05,280 --> 01:30:08,439
I'd brush them twice. And did you
really call me "Lollipopolis"?
1703
01:30:08,440 --> 01:30:10,199
(ALL LAUGHING)
1704
01:30:10,200 --> 01:30:12,759
It's Theodopolis.
Just for the record.
1705
01:30:12,760 --> 01:30:14,769
I know. I just like to have fun...
1706
01:30:14,920 --> 01:30:16,359
Jim Friedman.
1707
01:30:16,360 --> 01:30:19,245
- Wha...?
- What?
1708
01:30:19,320 --> 01:30:22,799
- That was good.
- Thank you, Mfana.
1709
01:30:22,800 --> 01:30:24,559
(JIM CHUCKLING)
1710
01:30:24,560 --> 01:30:27,411
(NICKENS CONTINUES SINGING)
1711
01:30:29,800 --> 01:30:31,799
How about Thathoo
showing up everywhere?
1712
01:30:31,800 --> 01:30:35,641
They were in my shower this morning.
I had a very nice time with them too.
1713
01:30:35,800 --> 01:30:38,048
(BOTH CHUCKLING THEN
MONKEY GIBBERING)
1714
01:30:38,360 --> 01:30:41,159
There she is. Oh,
thank you so much.
1715
01:30:41,160 --> 01:30:44,569
Hey, Bubbles. Nice wiggle, but
you grew a tail. Ha-ha-ha.
1716
01:30:45,080 --> 01:30:46,719
Here's looking at you.
1717
01:30:46,720 --> 01:30:50,367
No, really. Looking at you, because
you're actually looking at me this time.
1718
01:30:50,560 --> 01:30:52,759
(LAUGHING)
1719
01:30:52,760 --> 01:30:54,200
You...
1720
01:30:55,480 --> 01:30:58,001
have the most beautiful...
1721
01:31:00,600 --> 01:31:01,881
kids.
1722
01:31:02,520 --> 01:31:05,246
- Oh. Thank you.
- Sure.
1723
01:31:06,560 --> 01:31:08,683
You're a great mom too.
1724
01:31:09,360 --> 01:31:12,040
You're a pretty good mom yourself.
1725
01:31:12,520 --> 01:31:14,006
I'll take that.
1726
01:31:14,400 --> 01:31:16,839
Tyler has a playoff
game on Saturday...
1727
01:31:16,840 --> 01:31:18,087
Yeah?
1728
01:31:18,280 --> 01:31:21,563
and I think that...
1729
01:31:22,680 --> 01:31:29,399
for the very first time, he won't actually
be completely dreading it, thanks to you.
1730
01:31:29,400 --> 01:31:33,439
Tell your... His father the more he works with
him, the more he's gonna get confident...
1731
01:31:33,440 --> 01:31:36,039
the more he's gonna belt the
ball anytime he gets up there.
1732
01:31:36,040 --> 01:31:40,519
Yeah, well, his dad's not really
into working with him, you know...
1733
01:31:40,520 --> 01:31:45,362
because to do that, he'd have to show
up, which he's just not good at.
1734
01:31:45,400 --> 01:31:47,719
You gotta show up for your kids.
1735
01:31:47,720 --> 01:31:51,402
It should be boring how
reliable a parent is.
1736
01:31:52,120 --> 01:31:56,039
It's funny to me that some
people don't get that. You do!
1737
01:31:56,040 --> 01:32:00,119
I mean, your kid needs to come
first 100 percent of the time.
1738
01:32:00,120 --> 01:32:02,288
Absolutely. 99 percent.
1739
01:32:02,320 --> 01:32:06,439
One percent of the time, I think we
are allowed to get what we want.
1740
01:32:06,440 --> 01:32:08,959
Aah. God.
1741
01:32:08,960 --> 01:32:12,482
I forgot what it was
like to want something.
1742
01:32:12,920 --> 01:32:17,808
I vaguely remember it feels good.
1743
01:32:29,200 --> 01:32:31,119
I can't do this.
1744
01:32:31,120 --> 01:32:33,482
I can't do this. I'm sorry.
1745
01:32:36,080 --> 01:32:39,523
I really... I'm... It's not you.
1746
01:32:42,920 --> 01:32:45,168
I thought I could
do this. I just...
1747
01:32:45,800 --> 01:32:49,482
(BAND PLAYING "CARELESS WHISPER")
1748
01:32:50,280 --> 01:32:52,209
Sorry about them too.
1749
01:32:54,680 --> 01:32:56,405
They're still awesome.
1750
01:33:03,280 --> 01:33:05,403
Sorry I did that to you.
1751
01:33:07,480 --> 01:33:09,523
JEN: He didn't kiss you?
1752
01:33:11,120 --> 01:33:12,731
He's an idiot.
1753
01:33:13,280 --> 01:33:17,119
Although, you have to admit. The
monkeys playing the violins and stuff?
1754
01:33:17,120 --> 01:33:18,810
That is hilarious.
1755
01:33:19,000 --> 01:33:21,639
I can't believe that we both
found these great guys...
1756
01:33:21,640 --> 01:33:23,639
and we're not gonna
end up with them.
1757
01:33:23,640 --> 01:33:26,639
(PHONE RINGING)
1758
01:33:26,640 --> 01:33:28,285
Are you gonna get that?
1759
01:33:32,840 --> 01:33:35,168
Hi. It's not a good time right now.
1760
01:33:35,680 --> 01:33:36,961
(CHUCKLES)
1761
01:33:37,320 --> 01:33:38,759
I L word you so hard.
1762
01:33:38,760 --> 01:33:41,559
And you know what? I am
gonna make L word to you...
1763
01:33:41,560 --> 01:33:43,279
for at least an hour and a half.
1764
01:33:43,280 --> 01:33:44,527
(GIGGLING)
1765
01:33:45,000 --> 01:33:46,281
Okay.
1766
01:33:49,280 --> 01:33:51,239
That was my mom.
1767
01:33:51,240 --> 01:33:53,010
And she's doing good.
1768
01:33:54,520 --> 01:33:57,121
All right. I'm giving
Dick another chance.
1769
01:33:57,160 --> 01:33:59,806
To do what? Get rid of his kids?
1770
01:34:00,880 --> 01:34:03,606
I'm gonna meet his children. Heh.
1771
01:34:04,320 --> 01:34:08,206
You should try saying that without
contorting your face so much.
1772
01:34:09,000 --> 01:34:11,487
I'm gonna meet his children.
1773
01:34:11,680 --> 01:34:13,962
Heh. Better.
1774
01:34:14,480 --> 01:34:16,205
I'm sorry about Jim.
1775
01:34:17,160 --> 01:34:18,646
Me too.
1776
01:34:28,600 --> 01:34:30,723
(SIGHS)
1777
01:34:43,240 --> 01:34:45,329
Why didn't you kiss her, man?
1778
01:34:46,960 --> 01:34:49,891
I couldn't. I just...
1779
01:34:50,840 --> 01:34:54,567
I was afraid it wasn't
the right thing to do.
1780
01:34:55,840 --> 01:34:58,486
What did Africa do to you?
1781
01:34:59,000 --> 01:35:00,611
(SOBBING)
1782
01:35:02,840 --> 01:35:05,008
- JIM: That doesn't hurt. Stop.
- LOU: Ow.
1783
01:35:05,320 --> 01:35:08,410
I'm trying my best. Just sit still.
1784
01:35:08,520 --> 01:35:11,199
- Does it look pretty?
- It looks fantastic. Yeah.
1785
01:35:11,200 --> 01:35:13,050
Yay.
1786
01:35:13,400 --> 01:35:15,489
Ha-ha-ha. No.
1787
01:35:16,160 --> 01:35:18,839
- JIM: You look nice.
- Oh, thanks.
1788
01:35:18,840 --> 01:35:21,759
- Where you off to?
- Oh, I'm going on a date with Jake.
1789
01:35:21,760 --> 01:35:24,639
How can you go out with Jake?
He lives in Vancouver.
1790
01:35:24,640 --> 01:35:26,199
Hi, Mr. Friedman.
1791
01:35:26,200 --> 01:35:30,039
Yay there, Skeletor. Listen,
make sure plenty of beef.
1792
01:35:30,040 --> 01:35:32,083
Seriously. She's got
tryouts this week.
1793
01:35:32,360 --> 01:35:35,166
Lamb chops, pork chops,
tri-tips. You got it.
1794
01:35:35,240 --> 01:35:37,159
That's the way.
1795
01:35:37,160 --> 01:35:38,879
Garbage twisties?
1796
01:35:38,880 --> 01:35:40,879
- I don't know how to...
- You're awful.
1797
01:35:40,880 --> 01:35:42,399
Just fix it then.
1798
01:35:42,400 --> 01:35:44,602
So when are we gonna
see Lauren again?
1799
01:35:44,840 --> 01:35:46,999
Something happened
between you guys.
1800
01:35:47,000 --> 01:35:49,519
No. What are you, crazy?
Nothing happened.
1801
01:35:49,520 --> 01:35:51,879
Dad, come on. I saw the
way you looked at her.
1802
01:35:51,880 --> 01:35:54,639
- And I saw the way she looked at you.
- JAKE: It's undeniable.
1803
01:35:54,640 --> 01:35:58,039
- You guys are infatuated with each other.
- Jake, butt out.
1804
01:35:58,040 --> 01:35:59,199
JAKE: Sorry, sir.
1805
01:35:59,200 --> 01:36:03,039
Don't you guys have anything better to do
than look at people looking at each other?
1806
01:36:03,040 --> 01:36:05,239
Besides, what am I supposed to do?
1807
01:36:05,240 --> 01:36:08,444
Change our whole lives just
because I'm in love with her?
1808
01:36:10,440 --> 01:36:11,880
Yes!
1809
01:36:14,320 --> 01:36:16,239
Wow.
1810
01:36:16,240 --> 01:36:18,799
Aah! So romantic!
1811
01:36:18,800 --> 01:36:22,368
Loving it! Taking a risk.
Go get her, baby!
1812
01:36:26,440 --> 01:36:28,999
I know I confused you.
1813
01:36:29,000 --> 01:36:32,090
I just had to make sure.
1814
01:36:32,160 --> 01:36:34,199
For my wife and for my kids.
1815
01:36:34,200 --> 01:36:37,085
And for your kids.
And for you. And...
1816
01:36:38,200 --> 01:36:40,439
Just so we have no lies.
1817
01:36:40,440 --> 01:36:43,479
It was me who drank
your beer at Hooters.
1818
01:36:43,480 --> 01:36:46,559
I don't know why I did that.
I get free beers there...
1819
01:36:46,560 --> 01:36:49,240
so it was just panic then.
1820
01:36:59,400 --> 01:37:01,204
(DOORBELL RINGS)
1821
01:37:06,800 --> 01:37:08,081
Yeah?
1822
01:37:09,120 --> 01:37:11,482
This is 323, right?
1823
01:37:11,760 --> 01:37:13,166
Yeah.
1824
01:37:13,720 --> 01:37:15,649
I was looking for Lauren.
1825
01:37:16,080 --> 01:37:17,611
You and me both.
1826
01:37:18,240 --> 01:37:19,487
TYLER: Jim!
1827
01:37:19,960 --> 01:37:22,128
Big time! Look at you!
1828
01:37:22,360 --> 01:37:24,847
Mom's not home. This is my dad.
1829
01:37:25,440 --> 01:37:26,641
Mark.
1830
01:37:26,840 --> 01:37:28,359
Yeah. Who are you?
1831
01:37:28,360 --> 01:37:30,289
Jim! The cool guy from the safari.
1832
01:37:30,720 --> 01:37:33,241
Do you wanna "bowl"
me a few pitches?
1833
01:37:34,120 --> 01:37:36,641
I'm sure your father wants
to do that with you.
1834
01:37:37,400 --> 01:37:38,639
No, he doesn't.
1835
01:37:38,640 --> 01:37:41,446
No, no, no, no. Go get
your bat, big time.
1836
01:37:41,600 --> 01:37:43,479
Hey! We can all play!
1837
01:37:43,480 --> 01:37:45,682
I'll get Brendan's glove.
He never uses it.
1838
01:37:46,360 --> 01:37:49,119
Boy, he hasn't shut up
about that Africa trip.
1839
01:37:49,120 --> 01:37:52,051
Your kids are incredible.
1840
01:37:52,080 --> 01:37:53,319
Yeah.
1841
01:37:53,320 --> 01:37:58,399
That's why Lauren and I are, you know,
trying to make things work again.
1842
01:37:58,400 --> 01:37:59,840
For them.
1843
01:38:00,880 --> 01:38:03,279
- I didn't know that.
- Yeah.
1844
01:38:03,280 --> 01:38:05,239
I'll tell her you came by.
1845
01:38:05,240 --> 01:38:08,603
And I'll put these
in the bedroom...
1846
01:38:09,000 --> 01:38:11,168
next to where we make love.
1847
01:38:14,160 --> 01:38:15,771
Okay.
1848
01:38:18,160 --> 01:38:21,011
Tell Tyler I said goodbye.
1849
01:38:24,320 --> 01:38:25,885
Where's Jim going?
1850
01:38:26,560 --> 01:38:28,489
He had stuff to do, I guess.
1851
01:38:29,480 --> 01:38:31,839
- Can you and me play then?
- Yeah, of co...
1852
01:38:31,840 --> 01:38:33,079
(PHONE RINGS)
1853
01:38:33,080 --> 01:38:35,647
MARK: Ooh. Saved by the bell.
1854
01:38:35,760 --> 01:38:37,530
Hey, what's up?
1855
01:38:37,880 --> 01:38:39,605
You busy?
1856
01:38:44,200 --> 01:38:46,448
(ENGINE STARTS)
1857
01:39:10,480 --> 01:39:12,967
- Hi.
- Oh, hi.
1858
01:39:13,160 --> 01:39:16,319
Is there a GQ photo
shoot going on here?
1859
01:39:16,320 --> 01:39:19,842
Oh, no. I'm just, uh...
I'm just chilling.
1860
01:39:20,200 --> 01:39:24,803
I'm sorry that took so long. Thank
you for watching after the boys.
1861
01:39:24,840 --> 01:39:28,599
I'm done now and I'm guessing you
have somewhere you gotta go so...
1862
01:39:28,600 --> 01:39:30,370
How do you always look so great?
1863
01:39:30,880 --> 01:39:34,239
Yeah? It's my haven't-washed-
my-hair-in-three-days look.
1864
01:39:34,240 --> 01:39:35,919
Thanks for noticing.
1865
01:39:35,920 --> 01:39:38,361
Heh. You're so funny.
1866
01:39:39,600 --> 01:39:42,119
It's hard for me to imagine
you with someone else.
1867
01:39:42,120 --> 01:39:44,759
Really? It wasn't hard for
you to imagine yourself...
1868
01:39:44,760 --> 01:39:46,919
with someone else when
you cheated on me.
1869
01:39:46,920 --> 01:39:50,519
You always bring it back to that.
I could say, "Hey, look at that house."
1870
01:39:50,520 --> 01:39:53,599
And you'd say, "Oh, we lived in a
house when you cheated on me."
1871
01:39:53,600 --> 01:39:56,439
Or I could say, "Pass that pickle."
And you could say, I don't know.
1872
01:39:56,440 --> 01:39:59,119
Something about a pickle
and you cheating on me.
1873
01:39:59,120 --> 01:40:00,446
(CHUCKLES)
1874
01:40:01,480 --> 01:40:03,879
It's fun to laugh with
you again, Lauren.
1875
01:40:03,880 --> 01:40:05,730
We used to do that all the time.
1876
01:40:05,920 --> 01:40:07,610
You brought flowers?
1877
01:40:08,840 --> 01:40:10,087
Yeah.
1878
01:40:12,640 --> 01:40:14,490
Why'd you bring flowers?
1879
01:40:14,760 --> 01:40:16,928
Because you deserve flowers.
1880
01:40:19,120 --> 01:40:22,881
Lauren, when you went away to
Africa, I did a lot of thinking.
1881
01:40:24,160 --> 01:40:27,999
You and I, we have so much
history together. Two boys.
1882
01:40:28,000 --> 01:40:29,319
One receptionist.
1883
01:40:29,320 --> 01:40:32,319
Look, I made a mistake!
1884
01:40:32,320 --> 01:40:35,439
You made it at least four
mistakes that I know of.
1885
01:40:35,440 --> 01:40:37,159
Made. Past tense.
1886
01:40:37,160 --> 01:40:39,203
I was a jerk.
1887
01:40:39,280 --> 01:40:42,006
Lauren, you were the
best thing in my life.
1888
01:40:42,080 --> 01:40:43,486
You and the boys.
1889
01:40:44,800 --> 01:40:48,004
And boys need their fathers.
1890
01:40:48,520 --> 01:40:49,926
They do.
1891
01:40:50,200 --> 01:40:52,562
I know that I'm a good father.
1892
01:40:52,880 --> 01:40:54,759
I just need to prove it to them.
1893
01:40:54,760 --> 01:40:57,281
Well, you can! It's not too late.
1894
01:40:57,520 --> 01:40:59,479
Is it too late...
1895
01:40:59,480 --> 01:41:01,091
for this?
1896
01:41:02,480 --> 01:41:05,119
What are you doing?
1897
01:41:05,120 --> 01:41:06,799
I'm coming home, baby.
1898
01:41:06,800 --> 01:41:09,685
Oh! Mark! Get off of me!
1899
01:41:09,720 --> 01:41:11,649
You don't live here anymore!
1900
01:41:12,680 --> 01:41:14,120
Is there someone else?
1901
01:41:14,121 --> 01:41:18,564
Heh. No. And that's none
of your business anyway.
1902
01:41:19,840 --> 01:41:21,999
You're interested in
being a good father?
1903
01:41:22,000 --> 01:41:24,487
Tyler has a game on
Saturday. Be there.
1904
01:41:45,520 --> 01:41:47,051
Dad?
1905
01:41:47,320 --> 01:41:49,602
(WHISPERING)
I didn't mean to wake you. Sorry.
1906
01:41:51,000 --> 01:41:53,202
I was talking to Mom before bed.
1907
01:41:54,040 --> 01:41:56,959
- Mm-hm.
- And...
1908
01:41:56,960 --> 01:42:00,801
she says she has a
lot of stuff to do.
1909
01:42:02,040 --> 01:42:03,287
She does?
1910
01:42:03,920 --> 01:42:09,411
Yeah. So she might not be
able to hang around as much.
1911
01:42:12,480 --> 01:42:14,125
Okay.
1912
01:42:14,320 --> 01:42:18,445
She also said you need to increase
my allowance to 5 dollars.
1913
01:42:19,240 --> 01:42:21,329
She's very generous.
1914
01:42:25,520 --> 01:42:27,085
I just...
1915
01:42:28,720 --> 01:42:29,919
(WHIMPERING)
1916
01:42:29,920 --> 01:42:32,487
I don't want her to disappear.
1917
01:42:33,080 --> 01:42:37,159
Sweetheart, she's never
gonna disappear.
1918
01:42:37,160 --> 01:42:38,646
Never ever.
1919
01:42:39,240 --> 01:42:43,559
You can let her go. She
will always be right here.
1920
01:42:43,560 --> 01:42:47,003
And I will always be here.
I promise you.
1921
01:42:47,160 --> 01:42:49,328
(SOBBING)
1922
01:42:59,480 --> 01:43:01,439
By the way...
1923
01:43:01,440 --> 01:43:03,927
Mom loved the Africa trip.
1924
01:43:04,440 --> 01:43:06,085
So did I.
1925
01:43:09,560 --> 01:43:10,886
I miss her.
1926
01:43:11,400 --> 01:43:13,568
Your mother was the greatest.
1927
01:43:14,480 --> 01:43:16,284
I mean Lauren.
1928
01:43:19,680 --> 01:43:21,166
Me too.
1929
01:43:21,880 --> 01:43:24,845
We don't have to let
go of her too, do we?
1930
01:43:25,280 --> 01:43:27,130
Come here.
1931
01:43:38,320 --> 01:43:41,239
Brendan, don't forget that I'm
picking you up for Scouts...
1932
01:43:41,240 --> 01:43:42,885
so don't take the bus home.
1933
01:43:43,080 --> 01:43:46,079
Thanks for telling everyone
I'm still in Scouts, Mom.
1934
01:43:46,080 --> 01:43:48,681
You're a good boy. Be
proud of who you are.
1935
01:43:51,480 --> 01:43:53,125
(MOUTHS) Love you.
1936
01:44:12,080 --> 01:44:14,248
Say one word and you're dead.
1937
01:44:14,360 --> 01:44:16,722
You're driving a minivan.
1938
01:44:16,840 --> 01:44:18,359
It's Dick's.
1939
01:44:18,360 --> 01:44:21,723
I'm off to buy toilet paper
for Team Theodopolis.
1940
01:44:21,760 --> 01:44:25,359
When the team needs toilet paper,
the co-captain goes and gets it.
1941
01:44:25,360 --> 01:44:28,131
And believe me, those
kids never stop crapping.
1942
01:44:28,760 --> 01:44:30,639
Kids need to crap.
1943
01:44:30,640 --> 01:44:34,003
You need anything from Walmart?
1944
01:44:34,800 --> 01:44:36,047
I'm good.
1945
01:44:36,840 --> 01:44:40,044
- See you at the PTA meeting.
- Okay, foxy.
1946
01:44:45,160 --> 01:44:47,727
(CROWD CHEERING)
1947
01:44:50,880 --> 01:44:53,128
(CROWD WHOOPING)
1948
01:44:54,120 --> 01:44:56,561
Yeah! Base on!
1949
01:44:56,920 --> 01:44:59,279
This is so good, honey.
1950
01:44:59,280 --> 01:45:02,404
- This is family.
- This is fun for me.
1951
01:45:07,200 --> 01:45:09,839
- Way to go, Dad.
- ANNOUNCER: One out to go.
1952
01:45:09,840 --> 01:45:13,159
But Standard Fence
has a rally going.
1953
01:45:13,160 --> 01:45:18,559
Now batting, number
23, Tyler Reynolds.
1954
01:45:18,560 --> 01:45:20,719
(PLAYS OMINOUS TUNE)
1955
01:45:20,720 --> 01:45:24,079
- Hey, that's not nice!
- Shut up. That kid's awful.
1956
01:45:24,080 --> 01:45:26,519
Go Tyler!
1957
01:45:26,520 --> 01:45:27,960
Tracy.
1958
01:45:28,560 --> 01:45:30,569
What's your head doing here?
1959
01:45:33,120 --> 01:45:36,722
(CROWD SHOUTING INDISTINCTLY)
1960
01:45:50,800 --> 01:45:52,843
Strike one!
1961
01:45:53,040 --> 01:45:55,004
I'm so sorry Mark didn't show up.
1962
01:45:55,240 --> 01:45:59,604
He just doesn't get it, you know? Your kids
have to come first 100 percent of the time.
1963
01:45:59,760 --> 01:46:02,770
Well, like, 99 percent. You
get one percent for yourself.
1964
01:46:03,520 --> 01:46:05,085
- That's great news.
- Heh.
1965
01:46:05,280 --> 01:46:08,689
Well, no matter what, you have
to show up for your kids.
1966
01:46:09,600 --> 01:46:11,079
Like him.
1967
01:46:11,080 --> 01:46:14,559
- Hey, hey! All right, big time!
- ESPN: Come on, Tyler!
1968
01:46:14,560 --> 01:46:16,444
JIM: Looking good out there!
1969
01:46:18,080 --> 01:46:19,805
Get that elbow up!
1970
01:46:19,960 --> 01:46:21,366
Elbow up!
1971
01:46:21,520 --> 01:46:23,370
Incredible.
1972
01:46:28,800 --> 01:46:30,161
Come on, Tyler.
1973
01:46:32,440 --> 01:46:33,799
Strike two!
1974
01:46:33,800 --> 01:46:35,286
All right, all right!
1975
01:46:37,680 --> 01:46:40,919
Nice cut, nice cut. Slow
it down a little bit.
1976
01:46:40,920 --> 01:46:44,079
Bend those knees. Balance, okay?
1977
01:46:44,080 --> 01:46:46,679
Take care of this. That's it.
1978
01:46:46,680 --> 01:46:48,803
Elbow up. Higher, higher.
1979
01:46:49,120 --> 01:46:51,079
Now, remember the stink eye.
1980
01:46:51,080 --> 01:46:52,361
(GROWLS)
1981
01:46:54,600 --> 01:46:57,039
The mustache is rattled.
1982
01:46:57,040 --> 01:46:58,519
Come on, Tyler, let's go!
1983
01:46:58,520 --> 01:47:00,210
Take them deep.
1984
01:47:05,520 --> 01:47:07,722
(INAUDIBLE DIALOGUE)
1985
01:47:13,640 --> 01:47:15,046
(SCREAMS)
1986
01:47:18,120 --> 01:47:19,401
You hit it!
1987
01:47:19,720 --> 01:47:21,479
Run, Tyler, run!
1988
01:47:21,480 --> 01:47:23,091
(LAUREN SCREAMING)
1989
01:47:26,200 --> 01:47:28,243
(ALL SCREAMING)
1990
01:47:29,400 --> 01:47:31,841
Keep going, brother! Go!
1991
01:47:32,680 --> 01:47:34,006
Go now!
1992
01:47:34,840 --> 01:47:36,929
Don't hesitate. Come, come!
1993
01:47:38,880 --> 01:47:40,879
Come to me, big time!
1994
01:47:40,880 --> 01:47:43,606
Go! Run to me!
1995
01:47:44,920 --> 01:47:46,679
Keep it going, Tyler!
1996
01:47:46,680 --> 01:47:48,689
We're going home, baby!
1997
01:47:48,920 --> 01:47:50,724
We're going home!
1998
01:47:51,080 --> 01:47:52,239
(TYLER GRUNTS)
1999
01:47:52,240 --> 01:47:53,599
Safe!
2000
01:47:53,600 --> 01:47:55,609
Yeah! Yes!
2001
01:47:57,720 --> 01:48:00,241
Do you believe in miracles?
2002
01:48:01,720 --> 01:48:02,967
(JIM WHISTLING)
2003
01:48:03,160 --> 01:48:04,799
Yeah! Whoo!
2004
01:48:04,800 --> 01:48:08,447
Yeah! That's my brother!
2005
01:48:08,840 --> 01:48:10,804
Ha, ha! Whoo.
2006
01:48:11,280 --> 01:48:12,759
Thank you.
2007
01:48:12,760 --> 01:48:15,327
All you in there, big time.
2008
01:48:15,640 --> 01:48:17,604
Oh, my God!
2009
01:48:18,560 --> 01:48:20,489
(KIDS GIGGLING)
2010
01:48:20,560 --> 01:48:22,091
What are you doing?
2011
01:48:22,840 --> 01:48:24,485
I love you!
2012
01:48:25,080 --> 01:48:27,079
That was amazing.
2013
01:48:27,080 --> 01:48:30,519
I'm so sorry to show up like this.
I was at your house the other day...
2014
01:48:30,520 --> 01:48:34,079
and I saw your ex-husband blow off
Tyler when he wanted to practice.
2015
01:48:34,080 --> 01:48:37,409
I know you guys are trying to work
it out, but it broke my heart.
2016
01:48:37,920 --> 01:48:40,691
We're not working it out.
That's never gonna happen.
2017
01:48:40,920 --> 01:48:42,167
Really?
2018
01:48:43,720 --> 01:48:46,161
What were you doing at my house?
2019
01:48:46,360 --> 01:48:49,006
I came by to tell you that...
2020
01:48:50,320 --> 01:48:53,364
I think it's okay now.
2021
01:48:54,200 --> 01:48:55,839
Okay for what?
2022
01:48:55,840 --> 01:48:59,599
Okay to have one of those
rare, rare moments...
2023
01:48:59,600 --> 01:49:01,529
where we get what we want.
2024
01:49:01,760 --> 01:49:03,959
Oh.
2025
01:49:03,960 --> 01:49:05,844
Well, what do we want?
2026
01:49:06,520 --> 01:49:08,370
You know what we want.
2027
01:49:09,480 --> 01:49:13,048
Yeah. I think the kids want it too.
2028
01:49:13,360 --> 01:49:16,679
Not as much as I do there,
schlumpy shoulders.
2029
01:49:16,680 --> 01:49:18,211
(BOTH CHUCKLE)
2030
01:49:18,560 --> 01:49:20,250
Wait.
2031
01:49:20,840 --> 01:49:22,530
I can't do this.
2032
01:49:23,520 --> 01:49:24,721
You're kidding me.
2033
01:49:24,960 --> 01:49:28,159
Heh. Totally. I just had to
get you back for Africa.
2034
01:49:28,160 --> 01:49:29,441
Come on.
2035
01:49:39,160 --> 01:49:40,919
You know something?
2036
01:49:40,920 --> 01:49:43,159
Your mom is hot.
2037
01:49:43,160 --> 01:49:45,283
Your dad's pretty hot too.
2038
01:49:46,240 --> 01:49:47,879
Not hot.
2039
01:49:47,880 --> 01:49:50,159
(ALL CHUCKLING)
2040
01:49:50,160 --> 01:49:51,759
Come on, you deserve
a nice massage.
2041
01:49:51,760 --> 01:49:53,199
(LAUREN LAUGHING)
2042
01:49:53,200 --> 01:49:55,719
- Ow! Oh, it's good.
- Come on, you like that.
2043
01:49:55,720 --> 01:49:58,161
- Oh, it hurts so good.
- Sorry.
2044
01:50:01,640 --> 01:50:03,519
(SINGING) Look, they're blending
2045
01:50:03,520 --> 01:50:05,399
Hearts are mending
2046
01:50:05,400 --> 01:50:07,679
Sad times ending
Good times spending
2047
01:50:07,680 --> 01:50:09,086
With love
2048
01:50:09,480 --> 01:50:11,679
Kids are friending
2049
01:50:11,680 --> 01:50:13,086
Wedding trending
2050
01:50:13,400 --> 01:50:17,439
Blending, friending, blending, friending
Movie ending
2051
01:50:17,440 --> 01:50:19,559
(YELLS IN FOREIGN
LANGUAGE THEN LAUGHS)
2052
01:50:19,560 --> 01:50:21,000
(NICKENS SCREAMING)
2053
01:50:27,800 --> 01:50:29,999
(SPEAKING IN FOREIGN LANGUAGE)
2054
01:50:30,000 --> 01:50:34,649
(ALL SPEAKING INDISTINCTLY)
2055
01:57:05,840 --> 01:57:08,042
(English - US - SDH)