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But now,
put on your thinking caps.
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It's America's new favorite game show.
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It’s seven o’clock on a weeknight,
which can only mean one thing.
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It’s time for…
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- Can’t Stop the Quiz!
- Can’t Stop the Quiz!
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I’m your host, Terry McTeer.
7
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Oh, my God!
8
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You made out with David Zelman?
9
00:01:01,508 --> 00:01:03,217
You lost 600 dollars?
10
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I want a divorce!
11
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Welcome. Best of luck.
12
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May I have
five minutes on the clock, please?
13
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And your time starts now!
14
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Welcome!
15
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Ready to learn and have some fun?
16
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Countries on the equator. Whoa!
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Correct! Correct!
Wow! You guys are smart.
18
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Welcome, Ralph,
hope you're enjoying Los Angeles.
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Do me a favor,
don't miss the La Brea Tar Pits.
20
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They're lovely.
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Your cousin, Jin,
just got into Harvard Medical School!
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And you’re dropping out?
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It’s bad enough
you go to community college!
24
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I don’t need school!
I’m gonna be an actress.
25
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Oh! You’re making me crazy.
26
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- I’m going to the casino.
- Have fun losing all our money!
27
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That was incredible!
You almost knocked my bow tie off.
28
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I would've felt quite nude.
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Don’t go anywhere.
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- I know I won’t.
- I know I won’t.
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What an incredible game!
32
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I learned so much.
I had no idea pineapple is a berry.
33
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That blows my mind.
34
00:02:09,508 --> 00:02:13,633
Join us tomorrow for another night
of fast facts and live learning!
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I’m Terry McTeer and I’ll be right here.
36
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Have a good night!
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Thank you so much.
Have a great trip back to Delaware.
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I hear there's no sales tax there.
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Wild stuff!
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♪ Even if I find nothin' better to do ♪
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♪ Don't feel like dancin', dancin' ♪
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♪ Why'd you pick a tune
when I'm not in the mood? ♪
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♪ Don't feel like dancin', dancin' ♪
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♪ I'd rather be home with the one
in the bed till dawn, with you… ♪
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♪ So, I'll just pretend
that I know which way to bend ♪
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♪ And I'm gonna tell the whole world
that you're mine ♪
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♪ Just please understand
when I see you clap your hands ♪
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♪ If you stick around
I'm sure that I'll be fine… ♪
49
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♪ But I don't feel like dancin' ♪
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Surprise!
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My God! I love that everybody's here.
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Oh, we love you.
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Happy hour after this. Happy hour.
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- Yes!
- Yeah.
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Okay, let's get inside, get inside.
56
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Anne? Anne, is that you?
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Get inside.
58
00:03:22,842 --> 00:03:25,842
Anne, your stupid postman
has done it again.
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Once again, he's left one of your packages
in front of my door.
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Oh, man. Uh, my mistake.
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Yeah, well, what happens
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when there's an unexpected package
in front of my door?
63
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- I, um...
- I trip over it and I fall and I die.
64
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- Mm-hmm.
- Your stupid postman is trying to kill me.
65
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Yeah, yeah, yeah, for sure.
66
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Please speak to him.
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I'll leave him a voice mail.
Thank you.
68
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Look, Linguini, it finally came.
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Linguini!
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00:04:08,550 --> 00:04:09,800
It’s time for…
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- Can’t Stop the Quiz!
- Can’t Stop the Quiz!
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00:04:12,133 --> 00:04:16,425
I’m your host, Terry McTeer.
Let’s meet tonight’s contestants!
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Starting with Linda,
who came all the way from Idaho.
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- Did you bring any potatoes?
- Uh…
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I'm just kidding.
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00:04:24,967 --> 00:04:26,925
And then we have
our returning champion,
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Ron Heacock from Ohio.
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Ron, you must be getting
pretty comfortable here.
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You're now the third
longest-running champion.
80
00:04:35,383 --> 00:04:37,109
Congratulations!
That's quite an achievement.
81
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Uh, honestly,
I’m just glad to be here, Terry.
82
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- Uh, I’m a huge fan.
- Oh!
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Aw!
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- Please let this be the night…
- Last but not least,
85
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- we have Adrian.
- …he finally loses.
86
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Ron, your winning streak continues!
87
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Thank you.
But Linda, you did so great tonight.
88
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I… I wish we could both win.
89
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Hey! How about it, Terry?
Can there be two winners?
90
00:04:58,633 --> 00:05:00,217
Unfortunately, no, there can't be.
91
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Oh. Just me then.
92
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All I'm saying…
Okay, you put the money into the computer.
93
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It prints you the money back.
94
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- You don't lose any money.
- If you want me to invest in an app…
95
00:05:09,013 --> 00:05:10,151
…I'm not gonna…
96
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I sent this in an email.
Did you not read the email?
97
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- I don't open those things.
- You don't open my emails?
98
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- Any emails, ever.
- Hi, Mom.
99
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Hi!
This is Shannon from Sunnyvale.
100
00:05:18,550 --> 00:05:20,133
I have some bad news.
101
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We lost your mom.
102
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What?
103
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Oh, my God.
104
00:05:26,050 --> 00:05:30,675
Sorry, that was terrible phrasing.
I meant we don't know where she is.
105
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Yes, she's not dead, but she is missing.
106
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Have you checked Rivers Casino?
107
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- Penny Palace, House of Slots?
- Yes, we checked all her usual spots.
108
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- Can you come in?
- I mean…
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Here she is.
110
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Uh. Ms. Yum,
thank you so much for coming in.
111
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Well, would you like to wait
for your sister?
112
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She’ll be here momentarily.
113
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My sister? You… you called Jenny?
114
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Well, when we lose someone,
we have to call everybody.
115
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- We didn’t lose her, she ran away.
- Oh! Right.
116
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It's okay. She does this sometimes.
117
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Due to the sheer number
of rules violations,
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we can no longer
keep your mother as a resident.
119
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So, you're kicking her out?
120
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- Enough is enough.
- It's enough.
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Ms. Yum,
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in signing the resident agreement,
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she agreed to adhere to our policies.
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Sneaking out
is a very serious violation.
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We can't be responsible for her safety.
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She’s also really mean.
It's less important, but it’s not nothing.
127
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Uh. I think your sister's here.
128
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- Hello! Annie! Annie, let me in!
- The button! Push the button!
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- Hit the button. There's a button there.
- Annie! I can't hear you!
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- Hit the god...
- What?
131
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- There's a… there's a button there.
- I can't see it!
132
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- There's a…
- What button? What button?
133
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- Well, that wasn't very clear.
- Oh, well…
134
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Annie! Annie,
it's finally happened.
135
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- Oh, my God, it's okay, it's okay.
- No, no…
136
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I'm here. I'm here, we're together.
We're gonna get through this.
137
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- This is a part of life.
- Jenny, what are you wearing?
138
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Oh, it's the only black dress I own.
139
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- Okay.
- I can't believe she's gone.
140
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- Mm-mm. No, she...
- Oh, my God.
141
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We're orphans.
Oh, my God. You're Orphan Annie.
142
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- Oh, my God.
- She's not dead. She ran away.
143
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That fucking bitch.
144
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- Are you serious?
- Yes.
145
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- Hi.
- Hi.
146
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So, we took the liberty of packing up
your mother’s belongings.
147
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Thank you. What a pleasant eviction.
148
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Oh, good! I'm so glad. Oh? Great news!
It looks like your mom left a note.
149
00:07:47,717 --> 00:07:50,092
It’s mostly personal attacks on me.
150
00:07:50,467 --> 00:07:54,342
Oh, but it does say
she and Jeff are off to Macao.
151
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So, at least you know where she is!
152
00:07:57,717 --> 00:07:58,800
- Who's Jeff?
- Who's Jeff?
153
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She has a boyfriend?
154
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I mean, why didn't she tell us?
155
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Because she only calls
when she needs money.
156
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Oh, you’re parked right by me!
157
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Are you living out of your car?
158
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No!
159
00:08:19,342 --> 00:08:23,467
It's just some stuff I've been meaning
to donate and… Oh, my God.
160
00:08:23,550 --> 00:08:26,383
This amazing lamp that I found in an alley
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and some… blankets,
in case I wanted a nap.
162
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Well…
163
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sorry, you wasted all your time
driving out here.
164
00:08:35,717 --> 00:08:36,883
Oh, actually…
165
00:08:39,508 --> 00:08:42,258
I was hoping that maybe I can stay
with you for a little bit.
166
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Why?
167
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Well, I thought I was going to
since Mom was dead.
168
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Come on, Annie.
169
00:08:55,342 --> 00:08:57,592
Come on, it's gonna be fun!
170
00:08:58,175 --> 00:09:00,508
- And I really wanna see my dog.
- Your dog?
171
00:09:00,592 --> 00:09:04,050
I made it to the final round of auditions
for The Real World!
172
00:09:04,133 --> 00:09:06,467
I have to go to L.A. tomorrow
to meet with the producers!
173
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- Oh, my God!
- But…
174
00:09:08,425 --> 00:09:11,008
- What about your puppy?
- Oh, yeah.
175
00:09:11,717 --> 00:09:13,467
Can you take care of Mr. Linguini?
176
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- You added 2,500 dollars…
- Thanks! Thank you!
177
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…and that's not nothing.
178
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You know, it feels smaller.
179
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- Are you sure you didn't make it smaller?
- No, I didn’t shrink my house.
180
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- Oh, my God!
- What?
181
00:09:29,550 --> 00:09:30,592
He's dead.
182
00:09:32,342 --> 00:09:37,258
No, he's sleeping! Mr. Linguini! Hey!
Psst, psst, psst.
183
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See? Full of life.
184
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Shit!
185
00:09:52,383 --> 00:09:58,008
- So, uh… how long you planning on staying?
- Oh, I don't know. A few days.
186
00:09:59,633 --> 00:10:04,925
Few days?
Don't they need you back at your… job?
187
00:10:05,092 --> 00:10:06,467
Oh, no, I don't have a job.
188
00:10:06,967 --> 00:10:09,550
Okay, well, are you looking for a job?
189
00:10:09,633 --> 00:10:13,133
I’m focusing all my energy
on manifesting the life I want.
190
00:10:15,008 --> 00:10:18,467
But what…
What are you gonna do for money?
191
00:10:18,550 --> 00:10:21,258
Because I don't know
if I can lend you any more.
192
00:10:21,342 --> 00:10:22,633
And Mom's nursing home
193
00:10:22,749 --> 00:10:24,026
- isn't exactly...
- Okay, I don't need money.
194
00:10:24,050 --> 00:10:25,467
I'm getting plenty from my lawsuit.
195
00:10:26,217 --> 00:10:30,092
From your… From your what?
From your lawsuit? Sorry, what lawsuit?
196
00:10:30,342 --> 00:10:32,383
Oh, I didn't tell you? Oh, my God.
197
00:10:32,467 --> 00:10:34,383
I had a business lunch at Choochie's
198
00:10:34,467 --> 00:10:36,587
with this guy
who wanted to invest in my fashion line,
199
00:10:36,633 --> 00:10:40,300
and I took a bite of my tilapia filet,
and there was a fish bone in it.
200
00:10:40,383 --> 00:10:43,175
It got stuck in my throat,
and I almost choked to death.
201
00:10:44,842 --> 00:10:45,842
So, I sued them.
202
00:10:46,633 --> 00:10:47,758
So, you sued Choochie’s
203
00:10:47,842 --> 00:10:49,842
because there was a fish bone
in your fish fillet?
204
00:10:49,967 --> 00:10:51,883
I'm sorry. I almost died.
205
00:10:51,967 --> 00:10:54,367
Why can't you just be happy
I got a bunch of money from them?
206
00:10:54,717 --> 00:10:56,925
I mean, who are you? Mr. Choochie's?
207
00:10:57,508 --> 00:10:59,592
Now, why would I be "Mr. Choochie's?"
208
00:10:59,717 --> 00:11:01,258
'Cause it's a man's world.
209
00:11:05,050 --> 00:11:09,008
Don't… Don't just leave
that hair there, please.
210
00:11:09,258 --> 00:11:10,258
Okay, Dad.
211
00:11:14,383 --> 00:11:17,508
Oh, my God.
Do you have a Quiz alarm on your phone?
212
00:11:17,592 --> 00:11:20,425
Come on, Linguini! It's Quiz time.
213
00:11:20,508 --> 00:11:23,276
Let’s meet tonight's contestants.
Starting with our returning champion…
214
00:11:23,300 --> 00:11:24,300
Yeah, there you go.
215
00:11:24,383 --> 00:11:28,883
…Ron Heacock from...
Excuse me! From Ohio.
216
00:11:29,342 --> 00:11:31,842
- You okay, Terry?
- Yes. I just ate some crackers backstage.
217
00:11:31,967 --> 00:11:34,050
Must’ve gotten some crumbs
down the wrong pipe.
218
00:11:34,717 --> 00:11:36,609
That’s live television for you.
219
00:11:36,633 --> 00:11:38,967
Good. 'Cause I worry about you, Terry.
You work so hard.
220
00:11:39,050 --> 00:11:41,633
You should loosen up that bow tie.
Take a vacation.
221
00:11:41,717 --> 00:11:44,592
- Aww.
- Don't "aww" him. He's a jerk.
222
00:11:44,883 --> 00:11:47,508
But he seems so nice. And he's so smiley.
223
00:11:47,592 --> 00:11:48,675
He's not. It's an act.
224
00:11:48,883 --> 00:11:52,550
He's trying to be like Terry.
And look at how shiny his hands are.
225
00:11:52,633 --> 00:11:56,675
- He puts makeup on his hands.
- Some people have ugly hands.
226
00:11:56,800 --> 00:11:58,800
…all the way from Kentucky,
227
00:11:58,883 --> 00:12:01,550
Margret, I have to ask you,
did you ride your horse to the studio?
228
00:12:02,758 --> 00:12:04,133
Welcome.
229
00:12:04,425 --> 00:12:07,008
And your time starts now.
230
00:12:07,092 --> 00:12:09,217
- What is the square root of 196?
- Fourteen.
231
00:12:09,300 --> 00:12:10,791
- Ron? Correct.
- Fourteen.
232
00:12:11,001 --> 00:12:13,342
- How many hearts does an octopus have?
- Three.
233
00:12:13,425 --> 00:12:14,585
- Ron? Correct.
- Three.
234
00:12:14,675 --> 00:12:16,800
- What?
- What spice is derived
235
00:12:16,883 --> 00:12:18,416
from Crocus sativus?
236
00:12:18,550 --> 00:12:21,425
- Saffron.
- I feel like an answer hog. But saffron.
237
00:12:21,508 --> 00:12:22,592
Correct.
238
00:12:22,675 --> 00:12:23,943
- Carbon dioxide.
- Very good.
239
00:12:23,967 --> 00:12:25,725
- Wellington, New Zealand.
- Correct.
240
00:12:25,749 --> 00:12:27,041
Saturn. Our American Cousin.
241
00:12:27,175 --> 00:12:28,425
The equal sign.
242
00:12:28,508 --> 00:12:29,633
- Harry Potter.
- The Hobbit.
243
00:12:29,758 --> 00:12:32,550
- Correct.
- All right. Bless you.
244
00:12:32,633 --> 00:12:35,842
Ron, please list for us
the gods of Mount Olympus.
245
00:12:36,258 --> 00:12:42,383
Aphrodite, Apollo, Ares, Artemis, Athena,
Demeter, Dionysus, Hephaestus, Her... Hey!
246
00:12:42,550 --> 00:12:43,925
Why haven't you gone on that show?
247
00:12:44,217 --> 00:12:45,984
Are you scared that you would win
so much money
248
00:12:46,008 --> 00:12:47,464
that people will try and kill you for it?
249
00:12:47,488 --> 00:12:49,276
You know,
that's a thing with lottery winners.
250
00:12:49,300 --> 00:12:50,820
- No, it's not...
- Are you scared
251
00:12:50,925 --> 00:12:53,675
that your hatred for that Ron guy
is actually a sexual attraction
252
00:12:53,758 --> 00:12:56,118
that you wouldn't know
how to navigate in person?
253
00:12:56,633 --> 00:12:57,758
No!
254
00:12:58,217 --> 00:13:02,050
It's just… I'm not… good at…
255
00:13:03,217 --> 00:13:05,258
being looked at, you know?
256
00:13:06,967 --> 00:13:09,008
It’s time for the Flip!
257
00:13:09,092 --> 00:13:11,550
- Ten, nine, eight…
- Stupid coin.
258
00:13:11,675 --> 00:13:14,717
- I love the coin. It's so big.
- …seven, six, five,
259
00:13:15,175 --> 00:13:18,925
four, three, two, one.
260
00:13:21,175 --> 00:13:22,484
- Show it!
- Show it!
261
00:13:22,508 --> 00:13:26,383
- Show it.
- Our contestants will act out the answers
262
00:13:26,467 --> 00:13:28,092
while their partners guess.
263
00:13:29,092 --> 00:13:32,133
Wait, what are you doing?
The charades thing is the only fun part!
264
00:13:32,258 --> 00:13:34,383
It’s not fun, it’s a cheap gimmick.
265
00:13:34,925 --> 00:13:38,258
They changed the entire final round
to boost ratings, it's so dumb.
266
00:13:38,800 --> 00:13:40,883
Who wants to watch people
embarrass themselves?
267
00:13:41,758 --> 00:13:42,758
I do.
268
00:13:45,633 --> 00:13:47,175
Waltz. Waltzer.
269
00:13:47,342 --> 00:13:49,633
Oh, my God. He's dancing.
270
00:13:49,717 --> 00:13:51,800
Sidewalk. Concrete.
271
00:13:52,925 --> 00:13:55,258
Waltzer. Concrete… Walter Cronkite.
272
00:13:57,592 --> 00:13:58,842
Who's Walter Cronkite?
273
00:13:58,967 --> 00:14:00,592
G. Dog.
274
00:14:19,508 --> 00:14:21,925
♪ Okay ♪
275
00:14:22,675 --> 00:14:24,800
♪ Show up to the party it's guerrilla ♪
276
00:14:25,092 --> 00:14:27,842
♪ With an itty bitty chance
of having a good time ♪
277
00:14:27,967 --> 00:14:30,758
♪ Sip, sip, sippin' margaritas
spillin' like a villain… ♪
278
00:14:30,967 --> 00:14:32,092
It's like a robot's house.
279
00:14:32,217 --> 00:14:35,383
♪ Better whip out the swiffer
hiding my mind, smoke away depression ♪
280
00:14:35,467 --> 00:14:36,917
- ♪ Look like my exes ♪
- ♪ Hey ♪
281
00:14:37,416 --> 00:14:40,124
♪ They good, they tight ♪
282
00:14:40,258 --> 00:14:42,967
♪ They pull me under… ♪
283
00:14:44,508 --> 00:14:46,883
I focus
on my destiny all the time.
284
00:14:47,217 --> 00:14:50,258
I want to be rich and famous,
and loved by everybody. Why?
285
00:14:50,383 --> 00:14:54,758
Because I want to be a powerful force
for good in this world, you know?
286
00:14:55,258 --> 00:14:58,883
I just haven't found, you know,
the path to get there yet.
287
00:14:59,592 --> 00:15:01,258
I mean, do you have any idea
288
00:15:01,342 --> 00:15:03,883
how hard it is
to be an Asian woman in this country?
289
00:15:04,133 --> 00:15:07,425
- Yes, I read an article.
- Like, we have to keep going.
290
00:15:07,508 --> 00:15:10,050
Like, I've always wanted to open
my own bakery, you know?
291
00:15:10,133 --> 00:15:11,568
- And then life got in the way.
- Mm-hmm.
292
00:15:11,592 --> 00:15:13,258
And now, I never bake anymore,
293
00:15:13,383 --> 00:15:15,258
and I feel so unfulfilled.
294
00:15:16,050 --> 00:15:17,508
You need to change your life.
295
00:15:17,967 --> 00:15:21,217
You can because you're strong.
296
00:15:24,258 --> 00:15:25,883
So, are you done with your plate?
297
00:15:26,342 --> 00:15:28,258
Oh, yeah.
298
00:15:33,883 --> 00:15:36,717
Since when does it take you 20 minutes
to service one table?
299
00:15:36,800 --> 00:15:38,133
We started talking.
300
00:15:38,217 --> 00:15:41,177
- You can't just sit and hang out.
- She believes in me, Carl.
301
00:15:41,758 --> 00:15:42,925
Oh, my God!
302
00:15:43,508 --> 00:15:44,508
Thanks!
303
00:15:52,925 --> 00:15:55,008
Hi. I had a huge day.
304
00:15:55,092 --> 00:15:57,443
- Why are you sitting out here?
- Oh, I locked myself out.
305
00:15:57,467 --> 00:16:00,800
- Well, let's get inside before...
- Anne, is this lunatic your sister?
306
00:16:00,883 --> 00:16:02,092
I told you.
307
00:16:02,175 --> 00:16:04,151
She threatened to call the cops
because she thought I was, what?
308
00:16:04,175 --> 00:16:06,050
- Was it loitering?
- You were loitering.
309
00:16:06,133 --> 00:16:08,342
I thought you were loitering
with an intent to murder.
310
00:16:08,416 --> 00:16:09,616
Oh, do I look like a murderer?
311
00:16:09,842 --> 00:16:11,925
- Yes. Well, yes, you do.
- Oh, really?
312
00:16:12,050 --> 00:16:15,217
- I can see your brassiere.
- Okay, okay. I'm… I'm sorry about her.
313
00:16:15,467 --> 00:16:17,342
- Like...
- Sorry about me? What did I do?
314
00:16:17,425 --> 00:16:19,300
- Why are you... Why?
- Put a sock in it.
315
00:16:19,633 --> 00:16:23,842
Okay, so, I went to go get coffee
and I met this woman.
316
00:16:23,925 --> 00:16:27,883
Oh, my God! She was so sad.
But we got to talking, and I helped her.
317
00:16:28,175 --> 00:16:30,300
And helping her made me feel better.
318
00:16:30,383 --> 00:16:32,925
And just like that, I saw it.
I saw the path forward.
319
00:16:33,467 --> 00:16:34,633
Don't move my stuff.
320
00:16:34,883 --> 00:16:36,883
Why do you have
a bobblehead of Justin Timberlake?
321
00:16:37,008 --> 00:16:39,717
It's Terry McTeer,
and it's limited edition.
322
00:16:39,800 --> 00:16:41,425
It’s from the 300th episode!
323
00:16:41,508 --> 00:16:44,967
Do you know the heated eBay war
I had to endure to get that?
324
00:16:45,133 --> 00:16:47,842
- It's Justin Timberlake.
- It's Terry McTeer.
325
00:16:48,050 --> 00:16:51,925
Okay, as I was saying, I have decided
326
00:16:52,217 --> 00:16:53,883
I am going to become…
327
00:16:54,633 --> 00:16:55,675
a life coach.
328
00:16:56,800 --> 00:17:00,592
- You know, like Oprah.
- Oh, yeah. Yes. Linguini!
329
00:17:00,675 --> 00:17:03,258
- What's so funny? This is my destiny.
- Oh, there you are.
330
00:17:03,425 --> 00:17:04,592
Yeah, you and your destinies.
331
00:17:04,675 --> 00:17:07,175
First, it was figure skating,
then it was acting, and then…
332
00:17:07,258 --> 00:17:08,925
And then you wanted to be a music icon.
333
00:17:09,008 --> 00:17:10,984
- And then it was fashion design.
- Yeah, but this is different.
334
00:17:11,008 --> 00:17:12,008
How?
335
00:17:12,342 --> 00:17:15,550
I'll show you, you know what?
Because you're gonna be my first project.
336
00:17:15,842 --> 00:17:17,217
I don't need a life coach.
337
00:17:17,300 --> 00:17:20,008
Uh, really? Because from what I can tell,
338
00:17:20,092 --> 00:17:24,175
you’re like a 28-year-old woman,
living the life of a 98-year-old widower.
339
00:17:24,508 --> 00:17:25,717
I'm 33.
340
00:17:26,217 --> 00:17:28,967
And why am I always a man
in your hypotheticals?
341
00:17:29,633 --> 00:17:30,675
Because men are worse.
342
00:17:30,758 --> 00:17:32,598
Well,
I like my life just the way it is.
343
00:17:33,133 --> 00:17:38,133
Okay, Ron. Chuck has chosen geography.
Let's see what we have for you.
344
00:17:38,425 --> 00:17:40,068
- Please list for us…
- What are you doing?
345
00:17:40,092 --> 00:17:41,932
- …South American capital cities.
- Yoga.
346
00:17:42,300 --> 00:17:48,342
Buenos Aires, Lima, Sucre, Brasília,
Santiago, Bogotá, Quito, Caracas,
347
00:17:48,425 --> 00:17:51,467
- Montevideo, Asunción.
- Caracas…
348
00:17:53,550 --> 00:17:56,842
I knew I should have paid more attention
when I backpacked through South America
349
00:17:56,925 --> 00:17:58,818
after I graduated law school.
350
00:17:58,842 --> 00:18:00,175
Darn it.
351
00:18:00,258 --> 00:18:02,842
Let's see, Chuck, it's your turn.
How about language?
352
00:18:03,467 --> 00:18:07,925
Chuck, please list for us
nouns that do not have a singular form.
353
00:18:08,133 --> 00:18:13,508
Scissors, clothes, pants, jeans, trousers,
shorts, tights, goggles, sunglasses,
354
00:18:13,592 --> 00:18:15,383
tweezers, belongings, boxers, briefs.
355
00:18:15,800 --> 00:18:18,300
North American river borders.
All right, okay.
356
00:18:18,383 --> 00:18:20,342
Detroit, Pine, Pigeon, Rainy.
357
00:18:20,425 --> 00:18:22,984
Saint Clair, Saint Croix, Saint Francis,
Saint Lawrence, Saint Mary's.
358
00:18:23,008 --> 00:18:27,425
Nucleus, nucleolus, mitochondria,
Golgi complex, cell membrane,
359
00:18:27,508 --> 00:18:29,467
nuclear envelope, cytoskeleton.
360
00:18:31,633 --> 00:18:34,026
Did you see it? I was like,
"Don't we work with that girl?"
361
00:18:34,050 --> 00:18:35,609
And I was like, "Oh, my God. Yes, I do."
362
00:18:35,633 --> 00:18:37,092
And then I was... Oh, my God!
363
00:18:37,175 --> 00:18:40,550
- Hey, it's the Quiz Lady.
- What?
364
00:18:40,758 --> 00:18:44,092
You were like,
"Spain. Killer whale. Octagon."
365
00:18:44,217 --> 00:18:46,342
- So, what are you talking about?
- Hello!
366
00:18:46,425 --> 00:18:48,467
You're on the front page of Reddit.
Your video.
367
00:18:48,550 --> 00:18:50,258
…outskirts, premises, surroundings.
368
00:18:56,842 --> 00:18:57,925
Oh, no.
369
00:19:00,175 --> 00:19:02,508
Oh, Quiz Lady.
370
00:19:03,508 --> 00:19:04,800
Oh, my God.
371
00:19:05,592 --> 00:19:08,383
- …lysosomes, ribosomes, nucleus…
- Oh, no.
372
00:19:09,383 --> 00:19:12,717
Yo, what up fam? As promised,
The Quiz Lady.
373
00:19:12,842 --> 00:19:15,758
Yo, that video was so funny, dude.
I dropped my phone in the toilet.
374
00:19:16,050 --> 00:19:17,133
Don't worry, just pee.
375
00:19:17,258 --> 00:19:19,467
Can you give me, like,
a quick "wassup" to my followers?
376
00:19:19,633 --> 00:19:21,592
No! I need a minute.
377
00:19:26,633 --> 00:19:29,633
- Hi, have you seen Twitter?
- How did this happen?
378
00:19:29,842 --> 00:19:31,258
You are viral!
379
00:19:31,342 --> 00:19:32,383
I posted it last night,
380
00:19:32,467 --> 00:19:34,627
and then when I woke up
this morning it was everywhere.
381
00:19:34,758 --> 00:19:37,925
I mean, I have a ton of followers
from that time Elon Musk yelled at me.
382
00:19:38,008 --> 00:19:39,800
- But…
- Delete… Delete it right now.
383
00:19:39,925 --> 00:19:42,550
Wait! You cannot buy this hype.
Get this, get this!
384
00:19:42,633 --> 00:19:44,113
- Okay, the producers…
- I have to go.
385
00:19:45,550 --> 00:19:47,717
- I'm still here.
- She always does this.
386
00:19:47,800 --> 00:19:49,883
She just floats through life
without ever thinking
387
00:19:49,967 --> 00:19:51,526
about how her actions affect other people.
388
00:19:51,550 --> 00:19:54,425
Did you know that when were kids
we went to the Heinz Ketchup Museum,
389
00:19:54,508 --> 00:19:56,508
our father brought us there,
and she was furious
390
00:19:56,592 --> 00:19:59,026
'cause she wanted to watch Supercop 3,
and she'd just gotten it on DVD.
391
00:19:59,050 --> 00:20:01,383
And, so, she knocks over
an entire display of ketchup
392
00:20:01,467 --> 00:20:03,217
and we get thrown out onto the street
393
00:20:03,383 --> 00:20:05,133
by a Heinz ketchup security guard.
394
00:20:05,758 --> 00:20:07,633
And I really wanted
to learn about ketchup.
395
00:20:08,050 --> 00:20:09,359
I wanted to have that experience.
396
00:20:09,383 --> 00:20:11,318
I didn't get to have that experience.
Now, look at me now.
397
00:20:11,342 --> 00:20:12,443
I think it's just tomatoes, though.
398
00:20:12,467 --> 00:20:14,592
- You know, with sugar and spices.
- Oh, my God.
399
00:20:14,717 --> 00:20:16,133
They want me to be on local news.
400
00:20:16,258 --> 00:20:18,342
- Dope!
- I don't want to be news.
401
00:20:18,633 --> 00:20:20,008
I would kill to be local news.
402
00:20:21,467 --> 00:20:22,633
Internal auditing.
403
00:20:22,717 --> 00:20:25,550
Quiz Lady! I'm a huge fan.
My name's Gerald.
404
00:20:25,633 --> 00:20:27,675
I'm what you might call a sexual cannibal.
405
00:20:28,425 --> 00:20:30,800
It is what you think it is,
and do you wanna get lunch?
406
00:20:30,883 --> 00:20:34,550
The internet knows where I work.
The internet knows where I work.
407
00:20:36,092 --> 00:20:38,151
Niagara, Detroit, Pine, Detroit…
408
00:20:43,092 --> 00:20:44,925
- Hey, say something smart.
- Sorry. I can't.
409
00:20:45,008 --> 00:20:46,092
Come on!
410
00:20:53,967 --> 00:20:54,967
Anne Yum.
411
00:20:56,175 --> 00:20:57,550
I didn't mean to startle you.
412
00:20:57,717 --> 00:21:00,133
I'm a friend of your mom's.
Do you know where she is?
413
00:21:00,467 --> 00:21:01,717
No, sorry.
414
00:21:01,800 --> 00:21:04,258
You sure?
'Cause I'd really like to find her.
415
00:21:04,383 --> 00:21:05,717
She owes me some money.
416
00:21:07,592 --> 00:21:09,050
She... She said she quit.
417
00:21:09,592 --> 00:21:12,758
Aside from occasional penny slots.
How much does she owe?
418
00:21:12,883 --> 00:21:15,008
- Eighty grand.
- Eighty grand?
419
00:21:15,133 --> 00:21:16,425
And imagine my pleasant surprise
420
00:21:16,508 --> 00:21:19,050
when her daughter
with the goofy little bangs became famous.
421
00:21:19,300 --> 00:21:21,383
Saved me all the trouble
of tracking you down.
422
00:21:21,675 --> 00:21:22,800
So, where is she?
423
00:21:26,300 --> 00:21:29,550
Do you really want to protect her?
You probably don't even like her.
424
00:21:29,633 --> 00:21:31,300
I know I don't.
425
00:21:31,508 --> 00:21:33,467
Come on, don't be stupid.
426
00:21:34,300 --> 00:21:35,467
Tell me where she is.
427
00:21:38,467 --> 00:21:39,467
Macao.
428
00:21:40,383 --> 00:21:42,217
- Macao.
- I can't help you.
429
00:21:42,300 --> 00:21:44,925
Of course, you can.
You can cover her debt.
430
00:21:45,258 --> 00:21:47,133
I don't have 80,000 dollars.
431
00:21:47,217 --> 00:21:49,550
Neither do I, and that's the problem.
432
00:21:51,633 --> 00:21:52,758
Call me when you have it…
433
00:21:53,467 --> 00:21:54,925
and you'll get your dog back.
434
00:21:56,633 --> 00:21:57,717
My dog?
435
00:21:59,008 --> 00:22:01,467
- My dog?
- You have two weeks.
436
00:22:02,217 --> 00:22:04,633
After that, you'll never see him again.
437
00:22:05,550 --> 00:22:07,008
Let's go grab some cronuts.
438
00:22:09,425 --> 00:22:11,967
Amazing! We'll be there, thank you.
439
00:22:16,717 --> 00:22:17,883
Linguini!
440
00:22:19,592 --> 00:22:22,717
- Annie, what's going on?
- Linguini!
441
00:22:28,800 --> 00:22:30,383
Who's even named Ken anymore?
442
00:22:30,592 --> 00:22:33,508
This is all your fault.
He found me because of your stupid video.
443
00:22:35,592 --> 00:22:37,550
- Are you calling him?
- I'm calling Mom.
444
00:22:38,175 --> 00:22:39,550
It's not gonna do anything.
445
00:22:39,675 --> 00:22:41,276
Jenny?
446
00:22:41,300 --> 00:22:43,008
You left us with an 80,000 dollars debt?
447
00:22:43,258 --> 00:22:44,925
It's okay, I'm in Macao.
448
00:22:45,092 --> 00:22:47,508
Jeff, get me another Mai Tai!
449
00:22:47,758 --> 00:22:50,467
Okay, you know what?
It's not okay. None of this is okay.
450
00:22:50,633 --> 00:22:53,217
Your bookie threatened Annie
and kidnapped my dog.
451
00:22:53,425 --> 00:22:54,425
He's not your dog.
452
00:22:54,758 --> 00:22:55,800
Not a bad deal.
453
00:22:55,925 --> 00:22:58,425
- That dog's so old.
- That's not the point!
454
00:22:58,508 --> 00:23:01,300
What do you expect me
to do about it? I'm in Macao!
455
00:23:01,383 --> 00:23:04,300
You need to fix it.
We can't afford to pay them off!
456
00:23:04,383 --> 00:23:08,175
Fine! Come to Macao.
Jeff rented a condo. But no free rides.
457
00:23:08,300 --> 00:23:10,342
We don't wanna live in your goddamn condo.
458
00:23:10,550 --> 00:23:12,758
Don't swear.
Aiya, who raised you?
459
00:23:12,967 --> 00:23:14,092
Nobody!
460
00:23:17,092 --> 00:23:20,550
Told you.
461
00:23:22,050 --> 00:23:25,008
- Oh, my God. Oh, my God!
- What? What? Are they here?
462
00:23:25,175 --> 00:23:28,092
Annie, Annie, Annie!
This is all connected.
463
00:23:28,675 --> 00:23:30,175
This is synergy from the universe.
464
00:23:30,467 --> 00:23:32,633
Oh, my God.
I think I might have manifested this.
465
00:23:34,258 --> 00:23:36,092
I hate all the words you just used.
466
00:23:36,175 --> 00:23:38,217
Oh, my God.
This is how you're gonna make the money.
467
00:23:38,300 --> 00:23:41,258
Okay, someone from the Quiz just called.
They saw your video.
468
00:23:41,467 --> 00:23:45,050
What? No! No! That is so embarrassing.
469
00:23:45,133 --> 00:23:47,133
No, no, no, no.
No, see, they loved it,
470
00:23:47,217 --> 00:23:49,467
and they're in the middle
of a casting round,
471
00:23:49,550 --> 00:23:50,842
and they want... No, come on.
472
00:23:50,925 --> 00:23:53,883
They want you to come
to the in-person regional auditions
473
00:23:53,967 --> 00:23:56,342
this weekend. Where? In Philadelphia!
474
00:23:56,425 --> 00:23:58,967
- No, that's not happening.
- Oh, my God. Why not?
475
00:23:59,050 --> 00:24:01,175
I mean, you could win
80,000 dollars just like that.
476
00:24:01,258 --> 00:24:02,738
I mean, you got every question right.
477
00:24:02,800 --> 00:24:05,758
I can't play on live TV
in front of millions of people.
478
00:24:05,842 --> 00:24:07,550
In front of Terry-freakin' McTeer.
479
00:24:08,592 --> 00:24:11,300
I can't, I can't.
There has to be another way.
480
00:24:13,800 --> 00:24:16,467
You could sell your eggs.
I mean, it's not like you're using them.
481
00:24:17,133 --> 00:24:19,508
- I'm not gonna sell my eggs.
- Okay!
482
00:24:21,300 --> 00:24:24,008
Well, I am not gonna let
Mom's bullshit ruin your life.
483
00:24:24,758 --> 00:24:27,050
Too late.
484
00:24:32,675 --> 00:24:34,050
So, I looked on CarMax,
485
00:24:34,175 --> 00:24:37,758
and it said I could easily sell my car
for around 20,000…
486
00:24:46,175 --> 00:24:50,342
Hi. The paperboy
missed the porch again, but by a mile.
487
00:24:50,467 --> 00:24:52,633
I mean, he threw it
in the driveway, the jerk.
488
00:24:53,050 --> 00:24:54,842
I'm pretty sure he's vaping drugs again.
489
00:24:55,550 --> 00:24:56,967
Bending over that far,
490
00:24:57,092 --> 00:25:01,175
it’s actually dangerous
for an almost ghost like me.
491
00:25:01,883 --> 00:25:02,925
Could you help?
492
00:25:04,467 --> 00:25:07,300
Oh, say, uh,
can I borrow your phone a sec?
493
00:25:08,008 --> 00:25:09,925
I just want to check on my stocks.
494
00:25:11,467 --> 00:25:15,300
- Is everything all right? You seem weird.
- What do you mean? I’m fine.
495
00:25:16,592 --> 00:25:19,300
- Since when do you invest?
- What's it to you?
496
00:25:20,175 --> 00:25:21,300
Don’t be scared! It’s me!
497
00:25:21,592 --> 00:25:24,633
What?
What the… Jenny, not again!
498
00:25:24,758 --> 00:25:26,484
Don't worry!
We're getting your dog back!
499
00:25:26,508 --> 00:25:27,967
Hey!
500
00:25:28,258 --> 00:25:30,550
- What are you doing?
- I’m taking you to Philadelphia!
501
00:25:30,633 --> 00:25:32,383
- So, you can get on the show!
- Jenny!
502
00:25:32,467 --> 00:25:33,758
Okay!
503
00:25:33,842 --> 00:25:34,883
Where's my 100 bucks?
504
00:25:34,967 --> 00:25:36,568
Thanks. Um, sorry,
I don't have any cash on me.
505
00:25:36,592 --> 00:25:38,026
Hey! How could you do this to me
506
00:25:38,050 --> 00:25:40,217
when I was just threatened
by a genuine Tong?
507
00:25:40,342 --> 00:25:42,151
That’s why I yelled,
“Don't be scared. It’s me!”
508
00:25:42,175 --> 00:25:43,675
- Jenny!
- What is a Tong?
509
00:25:44,175 --> 00:25:46,217
Asian gangsters. You know, read a book.
510
00:25:46,342 --> 00:25:47,568
- Jenny!
- Thank you very much.
511
00:25:47,592 --> 00:25:52,300
Jenny, let me out of here.
Francine! Francine, please!
512
00:25:52,383 --> 00:25:53,383
Grifter!
513
00:25:55,217 --> 00:25:58,425
Jenny! Let me out!
I will call the FBI!
514
00:25:58,508 --> 00:26:00,675
- Settle down!
- You want me to settle down?
515
00:26:00,758 --> 00:26:03,092
- You kidnapped me!
- Oh, don’t be so dramatic!
516
00:26:03,175 --> 00:26:05,193
- Jenny, Jenny...
- I put a bunch of, like, snacks
517
00:26:05,217 --> 00:26:07,425
and pillows in there,
so just sit back, relax.
518
00:26:07,508 --> 00:26:09,467
- Enjoy the ride.
- Jenny, Jenny.
519
00:26:11,508 --> 00:26:14,675
♪ Surprise to me
I am my own worst enemy… ♪
520
00:26:16,133 --> 00:26:18,925
♪ …Every now and then
I kick the living shit out of me… ♪
521
00:26:19,008 --> 00:26:20,133
Oh, my God!
522
00:26:20,675 --> 00:26:22,425
- Jenny!
- What are you doing?
523
00:26:22,758 --> 00:26:25,050
- Pull over.
- Never!
524
00:26:27,800 --> 00:26:29,008
Ow, ow, ow, ow! Stop!
525
00:26:30,133 --> 00:26:34,092
- Get back in the trunk!
- Look out! It’s dangerous! Look out!
526
00:26:41,883 --> 00:26:43,842
- Oh, God! Oh, God!
- What the…
527
00:26:44,800 --> 00:26:45,920
Learn how to drive!
528
00:26:46,842 --> 00:26:47,842
Racist!
529
00:26:53,758 --> 00:26:55,508
Oh, hi!
530
00:27:01,883 --> 00:27:03,318
- That was crazy!
- Jenny!
531
00:27:03,342 --> 00:27:04,508
- What?
- Give me the keys!
532
00:27:04,675 --> 00:27:06,300
- No!
- What?
533
00:27:06,383 --> 00:27:08,342
- Come on!
- No! No. No, no, no.
534
00:27:08,425 --> 00:27:10,443
- You wanna run now?
- I would outrun you! I ran track!
535
00:27:10,467 --> 00:27:12,925
- What? You didn’t run track!
- I signed up for it!
536
00:27:13,508 --> 00:27:15,348
- Not going to...
- No, no, no, no, no, no!
537
00:27:15,425 --> 00:27:16,425
No, no, no, no!
538
00:27:16,508 --> 00:27:17,789
Thought I couldn't outrun you.
539
00:27:17,813 --> 00:27:19,633
- What are you...
- Stop it! Stop! Stop!
540
00:27:20,175 --> 00:27:23,217
♪ …The work be killin' me dead, stuntin' ♪
541
00:27:23,800 --> 00:27:25,276
♪ Killin' me, killin' me, killin' me… ♪
542
00:27:25,300 --> 00:27:26,780
Jen!
543
00:27:27,217 --> 00:27:29,383
You are going to Philadelphia!
544
00:27:29,508 --> 00:27:30,633
What?
545
00:27:31,008 --> 00:27:33,925
I don't have time for this,
Linguini is in danger.
546
00:27:34,050 --> 00:27:36,508
That stupid show is the only way
we're gonna get him back.
547
00:27:36,800 --> 00:27:38,508
What about the Choochie’s money?
548
00:27:41,008 --> 00:27:42,425
There’s no Choochie’s money.
549
00:27:44,425 --> 00:27:46,342
Of course. Of course.
550
00:27:47,050 --> 00:27:49,217
Why would I ever think
that you could help?
551
00:27:53,800 --> 00:27:54,800
Look…
552
00:27:56,175 --> 00:28:00,092
the Quiz is the best and fastest option
for us to get the money.
553
00:28:00,175 --> 00:28:03,675
So, unless you want to sell your eggs,
we need to get to Philadelphia.
554
00:28:09,342 --> 00:28:12,217
- Fine. But I'm driving.
- Okay.
555
00:28:13,133 --> 00:28:14,342
Give me back my hair.
556
00:28:22,300 --> 00:28:24,467
Come to Philly.
557
00:28:24,925 --> 00:28:26,445
We’re better than New York.
558
00:28:27,300 --> 00:28:29,467
I always forget
how beautiful this city is.
559
00:28:30,300 --> 00:28:32,383
Can you check that?
560
00:28:34,800 --> 00:28:36,717
What? What is it?
561
00:28:41,133 --> 00:28:42,258
What the…
562
00:28:43,258 --> 00:28:45,258
What’s he gonna do to our dog?
563
00:28:45,633 --> 00:28:47,092
He isn’t gonna hurt him, right?
564
00:28:48,425 --> 00:28:49,425
No!
565
00:28:50,425 --> 00:28:53,633
No. It's okay.
Let's just get to the hotel.
566
00:28:55,967 --> 00:28:56,967
Yeah.
567
00:28:57,550 --> 00:29:00,070
- What's the address?
- I don't know, I’m still looking for one.
568
00:29:00,133 --> 00:29:01,842
You haven't booked one yet?
569
00:29:02,508 --> 00:29:05,842
Sorry. I was too busy making the trunk
comfortable for you.
570
00:29:06,050 --> 00:29:08,217
Besides, how hard is it
gonna be to find one?
571
00:29:08,342 --> 00:29:09,675
How was I supposed to know
572
00:29:09,758 --> 00:29:11,758
there was a pharmaceutical convention
this week?
573
00:29:14,133 --> 00:29:18,175
Good morrow, ladies.
Welcome to the Ben Franklin Inn & Spa.
574
00:29:18,258 --> 00:29:24,175
May I interest you in some johnnycakes
made fresh this morning by my lovely…
575
00:29:25,342 --> 00:29:26,342
self?
576
00:29:26,842 --> 00:29:28,008
Um, don’t touch that.
577
00:29:28,508 --> 00:29:30,425
We have a reservation.
578
00:29:30,550 --> 00:29:32,217
It’s under Anne Yum.
579
00:29:32,467 --> 00:29:36,550
Ah! Yes. I heard your voice
on that marvelous machine right there,
580
00:29:36,633 --> 00:29:40,842
that I have heard is called the telephone,
but I am unfamiliar with it.
581
00:29:41,550 --> 00:29:43,133
Identification and credit card, please.
582
00:29:43,467 --> 00:29:45,987
You don't know what a phone is,
but you know about credit cards?
583
00:29:46,133 --> 00:29:48,675
The concept of a credit card
is an easy one to grasp.
584
00:29:49,092 --> 00:29:54,550
I know what credit is, and I can assure
you I'm familiar with cards.
585
00:29:55,258 --> 00:29:57,633
But that talking machine
was invented after my time.
586
00:29:57,717 --> 00:29:59,508
Oh, what is that sound?
587
00:29:59,758 --> 00:30:01,300
’Tis a chirping bird?
588
00:30:02,842 --> 00:30:04,342
Ben Franklin Inn, please hold.
589
00:30:05,092 --> 00:30:07,425
Uh, so, are you supposed
to be Ben Franklin?
590
00:30:07,967 --> 00:30:11,008
Because if Ben Franklin
had just been alive this whole time,
591
00:30:11,133 --> 00:30:14,008
he would know what phones are.
I mean, he was really smart.
592
00:30:14,092 --> 00:30:18,008
Well, that is very kind of you to say
that I am smart.
593
00:30:18,092 --> 00:30:21,133
Yeah, but if you don't know
about phones, then what?
594
00:30:21,217 --> 00:30:25,633
You're just like a ghost of Ben Franklin,
who’s somehow stuck in the 1600s?
595
00:30:26,217 --> 00:30:29,175
- 1700s.
- And if you are stuck in the past,
596
00:30:29,258 --> 00:30:32,758
then your inn should not have
all this modern stuff. But it does.
597
00:30:32,842 --> 00:30:36,217
I mean, it makes no sense.
So, which is it? What are you?
598
00:30:37,342 --> 00:30:40,258
I… am Ben Franklin.
599
00:30:40,342 --> 00:30:42,109
Then why don't you have wooden teeth
like George Washington?
600
00:30:42,133 --> 00:30:46,092
- Jenny.
- And… lifting.
601
00:30:46,175 --> 00:30:50,467
- Can you just let him be Ben Franklin?
- In my family, we have wrinkly foreheads.
602
00:30:50,967 --> 00:30:53,487
I just want to let you know, sir,
that you're doing a great job.
603
00:30:54,175 --> 00:30:55,758
- Thank you.
- Good.
604
00:30:55,883 --> 00:30:59,508
Well, he's using a computer.
How very 17th century.
605
00:30:59,675 --> 00:31:01,383
- Eighteenth century.
- What?
606
00:31:01,592 --> 00:31:03,425
Even though your time is limited
607
00:31:03,508 --> 00:31:05,925
in our wonderful capital
of the United States of America,
608
00:31:06,092 --> 00:31:09,092
which is how I know it.
I, Ben Franklin, know it.
609
00:31:09,883 --> 00:31:12,800
If you need any help,
don't hesitate to call.
610
00:31:13,050 --> 00:31:15,758
- On the phone?
- Yes. On the phone.
611
00:31:16,217 --> 00:31:18,300
Future’s greatest gift.
612
00:31:19,133 --> 00:31:20,133
Tina!
613
00:31:21,967 --> 00:31:25,175
Would you please show our guests
to their chambers?
614
00:31:26,050 --> 00:31:28,133
Please take more time
putting your hat on.
615
00:31:28,633 --> 00:31:31,467
Just take your time.
Tina from the temp agency.
616
00:31:31,592 --> 00:31:32,842
Scooch, scooch.
617
00:31:36,467 --> 00:31:38,092
Welcome to the Betsy Ross suite.
618
00:31:39,592 --> 00:31:41,883
Oh, can you take this? Thank you.
619
00:31:43,800 --> 00:31:45,592
Right. Cute.
620
00:31:46,508 --> 00:31:48,467
Jenny, we’re too old to share a bed.
621
00:31:48,633 --> 00:31:54,258
Speak for yourself, Ben Franklin.
The thirties are the new twenties.
622
00:31:54,342 --> 00:31:56,008
Since when are you in your thirties?
623
00:31:56,133 --> 00:31:58,717
Oh, since I did a guess-my-age filter
and it said thirty…
624
00:32:00,175 --> 00:32:01,175
nine.
625
00:32:06,883 --> 00:32:10,217
You know, this place sucks.
Let's go to a real hotel.
626
00:32:10,342 --> 00:32:12,508
They have to have rooms
they keep open just in case.
627
00:32:12,592 --> 00:32:14,342
- I'll get them to give us one.
- How?
628
00:32:14,758 --> 00:32:17,467
Oh, I am amazing at getting stuff.
629
00:32:17,550 --> 00:32:21,425
I get really emotional and talk a lot,
so they get confused,
630
00:32:21,508 --> 00:32:24,925
and then they're willing to do
whatever they can to make it stop.
631
00:32:25,008 --> 00:32:26,688
See, just one second. Like this.
632
00:32:28,967 --> 00:32:31,050
Please! Oh, my God!
633
00:32:31,342 --> 00:32:33,068
I know you’re only serving
the breakfast menu,
634
00:32:33,092 --> 00:32:34,592
but my husband needs fries!
635
00:32:34,675 --> 00:32:37,800
He has a rare kidney condition,
and if he doesn’t get salt, he’ll die!
636
00:32:38,175 --> 00:32:41,675
I’m too young to be a widow! I’m only 39.
637
00:32:42,883 --> 00:32:44,675
See? Works every time.
638
00:32:44,758 --> 00:32:47,592
You would publicly humiliate yourself
just to eat fries at breakfast?
639
00:32:48,342 --> 00:32:49,550
How is that humiliating?
640
00:32:54,133 --> 00:32:55,467
- Oh!
- What?
641
00:32:55,550 --> 00:32:57,592
There's no TV. I can't watch the Quiz.
642
00:32:58,633 --> 00:33:00,800
Wait. Annie, where are you going? Annie!
643
00:33:01,217 --> 00:33:04,675
Yeah, but right now?
I mean, is it such an emergency?
644
00:33:04,758 --> 00:33:07,258
I can't miss it. I've watched it
every day since I was four.
645
00:33:07,342 --> 00:33:09,050
Wait. You’ve never skipped a night?
646
00:33:09,175 --> 00:33:11,258
Neither has Terry. Nothing stops him.
647
00:33:11,383 --> 00:33:12,592
Not whiplash.
648
00:33:12,675 --> 00:33:14,300
Somewhere... Get the first question.
649
00:33:14,425 --> 00:33:16,842
- …country that…
- An earthquake.
650
00:33:16,925 --> 00:33:18,217
…borders Switzerland.
651
00:33:18,508 --> 00:33:21,758
- A swarm of bees.
- The answer is Mr. Potato Head.
652
00:33:21,925 --> 00:33:23,133
Not even Frat Week!
653
00:33:23,217 --> 00:33:25,758
…which is, uh, one of the Twin Cities.
654
00:33:28,675 --> 00:33:29,800
Annie, what about, um…
655
00:33:30,217 --> 00:33:34,342
- Hurry. It's probably starting!
- Jeez! Uh, are you…?
656
00:33:48,800 --> 00:33:50,508
Excuse me? Sir…
657
00:33:51,258 --> 00:33:52,675
- Try again.
- Excuse me.
658
00:33:52,842 --> 00:33:56,508
Hey! Would you mind
changing the channel to the Quiz?
659
00:33:56,800 --> 00:33:59,217
Holy shit. It's the Quiz Lady.
660
00:34:00,133 --> 00:34:03,258
Oh, no. I think you have me confused
for another Asian lady.
661
00:34:03,758 --> 00:34:05,776
Then why'd she ask to change
the channel to the Quiz?
662
00:34:05,800 --> 00:34:08,175
Put it on. I wanna see
if she know all that stuff.
663
00:34:08,258 --> 00:34:10,068
- 'Cause that video could have been fake.
- Fake?
664
00:34:10,092 --> 00:34:12,717
Yeah, right. Like, 100 bucks
says she gets them all right.
665
00:34:12,842 --> 00:34:15,717
Ooh! All right. Not like I care
about this game.
666
00:34:15,800 --> 00:34:17,967
Darryl, shut your hole. Phils are at bat.
667
00:34:18,050 --> 00:34:19,568
- Whoa! Whoa!
- What are you doing?
668
00:34:19,592 --> 00:34:20,800
Making some money.
669
00:34:20,883 --> 00:34:22,776
- Hey, everybody!
- I'm trying to watch the game!
670
00:34:22,800 --> 00:34:26,050
The Quiz Lady's here.
And she wants to play some Quiz.
671
00:34:26,133 --> 00:34:27,813
Hundred bucks
says she gets them all right.
672
00:34:27,883 --> 00:34:30,592
- All we need is one TV. What do you say?
- Get down!
673
00:34:32,800 --> 00:34:35,842
- Quiz! Quiz! Quiz! Quiz!
- Jenny! Stop chanting!
674
00:34:35,925 --> 00:34:38,092
Chanting always works. Quiz! Quiz!
675
00:34:38,175 --> 00:34:40,383
- Quiz! Quiz! Quiz!
- I see you.
676
00:34:40,467 --> 00:34:42,008
- Quiz! Quiz!
- Stop! These are people
677
00:34:42,092 --> 00:34:44,133
who punch police horses
when they’re happy!
678
00:34:44,217 --> 00:34:46,484
Hey, that’s a stereotype, okay?
That happened two separate occasions.
679
00:34:46,508 --> 00:34:47,717
- Okay! Okay.
- Come on!
680
00:34:49,133 --> 00:34:53,633
I’m not sitting down until I see
Terry McTeer’s face on this TV.
681
00:34:53,842 --> 00:34:55,425
I don't care what you throw…
682
00:34:58,717 --> 00:35:00,557
Is the TV okay?
683
00:35:02,967 --> 00:35:04,758
It was nice of that guy to drive us.
684
00:35:07,050 --> 00:35:10,133
You know, Phillies fans get a bad rap,
but deep down they’re nice.
685
00:35:10,967 --> 00:35:12,592
Sometimes stereotypes are wrong.
686
00:35:14,342 --> 00:35:15,425
They're always wrong.
687
00:35:16,050 --> 00:35:17,092
Hmm.
688
00:35:18,925 --> 00:35:21,508
It's funny, the word “stereotype”
has a fascinating etymology
689
00:35:21,592 --> 00:35:23,925
that I was reading about earlier...
Good Lord!
690
00:35:25,217 --> 00:35:29,633
How are you not in a massive amount
of pain right now?
691
00:35:29,758 --> 00:35:31,425
Oh, this happens all the time.
692
00:35:31,508 --> 00:35:34,883
Ever since I tried to catch a foul ball
at that World Series game.
693
00:35:36,092 --> 00:35:37,383
When I was dating Sammy.
694
00:35:38,258 --> 00:35:40,550
Anyway, it hurts when it pops out,
695
00:35:40,633 --> 00:35:42,984
and when it goes back in,
but in between, it’s not that bad.
696
00:35:43,008 --> 00:35:46,050
That is not just dislocated.
That is definitely broken.
697
00:35:46,133 --> 00:35:48,550
Oh, no, it's not.
I bet you, I could pop it back in myself.
698
00:35:48,633 --> 00:35:50,383
- No.
- Okay, but now, it’s gonna…
699
00:35:50,967 --> 00:35:52,425
- Okay. God!
- Jenny.
700
00:35:52,508 --> 00:35:54,188
God! Did you hear that? That was actually…
701
00:35:54,258 --> 00:35:55,443
- That was a crack!
- A little bit.
702
00:35:55,467 --> 00:35:56,901
- No, I can't.
- I’m gonna try it again. Wait.
703
00:35:56,925 --> 00:35:58,085
I can’t. It goes so far back!
704
00:35:58,133 --> 00:35:59,526
- Really? But it's…
- It goes so far back.
705
00:35:59,550 --> 00:36:01,430
- Does that gross you out?
- I’m gonna throw up!
706
00:36:03,008 --> 00:36:04,842
- Jenny!
- Okay. Okay.
707
00:36:05,842 --> 00:36:07,443
- Can you put the ice pack on it…
- Okay. Okay.
708
00:36:07,467 --> 00:36:09,187
…to cover it,
so I don’t have to look at it?
709
00:36:09,271 --> 00:36:10,967
'Cause you’re scared of my wrist.
710
00:36:12,425 --> 00:36:13,785
Really, it doesn’t hurt that much.
711
00:36:16,883 --> 00:36:18,300
Too bad cousin Jin isn't here.
712
00:36:18,425 --> 00:36:20,383
Fix that up for you.
713
00:36:20,967 --> 00:36:24,425
"Jin is the best…"
714
00:36:25,758 --> 00:36:29,425
"He's the best surgeon in the world."
715
00:36:32,300 --> 00:36:37,467
Do you remember that summer in California?
He was so into skateboarding
716
00:36:37,550 --> 00:36:39,342
- but he was terrible at it.
- Oh, yeah.
717
00:36:39,467 --> 00:36:41,592
- Oh, that was the best summer.
- Right?
718
00:36:41,675 --> 00:36:43,758
Oh, my God, when we hit the freeway…
719
00:36:44,342 --> 00:36:46,133
Oh, I knew I found my destiny…
720
00:36:47,592 --> 00:36:48,592
Burbank.
721
00:36:48,675 --> 00:36:52,342
♪ It ain't no joke
I'd like to buy the world a toke ♪
722
00:36:52,425 --> 00:36:53,758
♪ And teach the world… ♪
723
00:36:53,842 --> 00:36:56,675
Everything just felt so possible.
724
00:36:56,758 --> 00:37:00,467
The world was big and bright,
and everyone was getting along.
725
00:37:00,800 --> 00:37:04,258
No one was yelling at me to turn down
my music or get a job.
726
00:37:04,675 --> 00:37:07,383
For the first time,
I felt like I belonged.
727
00:37:09,758 --> 00:37:13,258
Too bad they hated us
and never invited us back.
728
00:37:17,383 --> 00:37:18,383
Yeah.
729
00:37:19,467 --> 00:37:22,133
I always hated being around them.
730
00:37:24,092 --> 00:37:25,675
They were so intimidating.
731
00:37:26,550 --> 00:37:30,050
When we went to go stay with them,
I was so nervous…
732
00:37:32,633 --> 00:37:36,133
that I didn't shit for, like,
the whole month we were there.
733
00:37:38,342 --> 00:37:42,467
So, one night, I woke up with just…
734
00:37:45,092 --> 00:37:48,342
the gurgles. You know what I mean? And…
735
00:37:50,717 --> 00:37:55,883
I was so scared that maybe they would,
like, hear it or that I’d clog the toilet
736
00:37:55,967 --> 00:37:57,967
or, like, something would happen.
737
00:38:00,467 --> 00:38:02,550
So, I went out in the backyard…
738
00:38:04,133 --> 00:38:05,592
and I dug a little hole…
739
00:38:07,217 --> 00:38:08,425
and I shit in there.
740
00:38:12,008 --> 00:38:14,967
That's how unwelcome I felt in that house.
741
00:38:19,383 --> 00:38:20,967
I never told anyone about that.
742
00:38:24,175 --> 00:38:25,383
It was all too much.
743
00:38:27,592 --> 00:38:31,133
The way that they would look at us
like we were… trash.
744
00:38:34,133 --> 00:38:38,883
No, they… They wanted to help,
that's why they let us stay there.
745
00:38:39,383 --> 00:38:41,258
They didn’t even talk about Dad.
746
00:38:42,133 --> 00:38:44,258
They were so embarrassed
about how he died.
747
00:38:45,300 --> 00:38:46,883
Divorced, broke…
748
00:38:47,925 --> 00:38:50,068
falling off a singles’ cruise
because he was trying to do
749
00:38:50,092 --> 00:38:51,883
the “king of the world” thing
from Titanic.
750
00:38:52,467 --> 00:38:57,217
Drowning in the Caribbean.
Like a… sad loser.
751
00:38:57,300 --> 00:39:01,092
Don’t say that.
He wasn't a loser. He was…
752
00:39:01,883 --> 00:39:03,800
Jennifer Yum.
753
00:39:06,175 --> 00:39:08,175
Well, good news.
754
00:39:09,258 --> 00:39:10,592
Doesn't seem to be broken.
755
00:39:11,675 --> 00:39:13,008
- Just dislocated.
- Mm.
756
00:39:13,300 --> 00:39:15,383
- I can just go ahead and…
- Oh!
757
00:39:15,675 --> 00:39:18,800
- Hmm?
- Oh, wow! I told you.
758
00:39:19,967 --> 00:39:23,550
How can I ever thank you
for saving my wrist?
759
00:39:23,633 --> 00:39:25,073
Oh, it's quite all right.
760
00:39:25,133 --> 00:39:28,508
- Maybe, like, a drink later?
- Well, I'm married. And gay.
761
00:39:29,758 --> 00:39:31,467
Why’d you have to say two reasons?
762
00:39:37,925 --> 00:39:40,550
- Oh, my God.
- What? What… What’s wrong?
763
00:39:40,633 --> 00:39:42,776
Ken. He sent me a video.
764
00:39:42,800 --> 00:39:44,300
Give it to me. I’ll look at it.
765
00:39:47,008 --> 00:39:49,717
Mr. Linguini's getting
nice and comfortable over here.
766
00:39:50,300 --> 00:39:53,925
The longer you take to pay me back,
the happier he is with me.
767
00:39:54,508 --> 00:39:58,217
We’re calling him Porky now.
Isn’t that right, Mr. Porky?
768
00:39:58,300 --> 00:39:59,508
Want some wagyu?
769
00:40:00,550 --> 00:40:01,717
“Don’t mind if I do.”
770
00:40:02,717 --> 00:40:04,758
That’s how I picture him sounding
if he could talk.
771
00:40:05,675 --> 00:40:06,967
You’re running out of time.
772
00:40:07,092 --> 00:40:09,467
He’s gonna make it
so Linguini never wants to leave.
773
00:40:09,800 --> 00:40:13,717
Oh, that’s kinda brilliant.
Uh, in a bad way.
774
00:40:13,800 --> 00:40:15,383
In a bad... Hey.
775
00:40:15,633 --> 00:40:17,967
Hey, hey, hey! It's gonna be okay.
776
00:40:18,050 --> 00:40:20,193
- Linguini.
- We are gonna get him back, I promise.
777
00:40:20,217 --> 00:40:21,467
Don’t look at your phone.
778
00:40:22,675 --> 00:40:25,467
Do you have a laptop or something?
‘Cause I can't sleep without noise.
779
00:40:25,550 --> 00:40:26,758
Yeah, in that blue bag.
780
00:40:29,008 --> 00:40:31,383
Ah, whoo! Pop!
781
00:40:33,342 --> 00:40:37,800
- When did you get this? 1970?
- Chad gave it to me.
782
00:40:37,925 --> 00:40:40,342
He was with the CIA,
so you know it’s powerful.
783
00:40:43,092 --> 00:40:45,300
- Who is Chad?
- Oh, you remember Chad.
784
00:40:45,383 --> 00:40:47,234
I mean, aren’t you supposed
to have a great memory?
785
00:40:47,258 --> 00:40:48,800
Yeah, for things of note.
786
00:40:50,175 --> 00:40:53,883
Oh, well. I remember
everyone you've ever dated
787
00:40:53,967 --> 00:40:56,133
since it was just that one
weird kid who was so pale
788
00:40:56,217 --> 00:40:57,457
he was practically see-through.
789
00:40:57,967 --> 00:41:00,342
Francoise was not see-through.
790
00:41:00,425 --> 00:41:03,258
Yeah, well. It was like someone
Saran-wrapped a skeleton.
791
00:41:03,717 --> 00:41:06,550
- Ooh, Kahi Bounce Balm?
- No.
792
00:41:06,633 --> 00:41:08,342
Are you sure? It’s Korean.
793
00:41:08,425 --> 00:41:11,508
And also, Francoise and I weren’t dating,
we were just friends.
794
00:41:11,592 --> 00:41:13,675
It wasn’t his fault
that he was allergic to the sun.
795
00:41:13,758 --> 00:41:15,592
- What are you doing?
- I want space.
796
00:41:15,967 --> 00:41:18,925
Ah, okay. Well, I sleep with two pillows.
797
00:41:19,008 --> 00:41:21,193
- Thank you very much. Yes, I do.
- Do you sleep with two pillows?
798
00:41:21,217 --> 00:41:23,592
Because you can sleep
with two pillows on the floor.
799
00:41:23,675 --> 00:41:25,651
I’m sorry, I’m injured,
I'm not sleeping on the floor.
800
00:41:25,675 --> 00:41:28,315
- I'm not sleeping on the floor, either.
- Then sleep on the chair.
801
00:41:28,758 --> 00:41:30,550
I don't wanna sleep in a sitting position.
802
00:41:30,633 --> 00:41:32,383
Oh, my God. What is the big deal?
803
00:41:32,467 --> 00:41:35,883
- We used to sleep together all the time.
- Yeah, 20 years ago, before you left.
804
00:41:40,967 --> 00:41:42,467
Fine, pillow wall.
805
00:41:50,383 --> 00:41:52,484
All right, you know what?
This is not half, by the way.
806
00:41:52,508 --> 00:41:53,508
Yes, it is.
807
00:41:57,342 --> 00:41:59,508
I know you're really nervous
about tomorrow.
808
00:42:01,383 --> 00:42:04,050
But is there at least
a small part of you that's excited?
809
00:42:06,717 --> 00:42:07,717
Maybe.
810
00:42:08,550 --> 00:42:09,550
A little bit.
811
00:42:15,008 --> 00:42:16,967
You are gonna be great.
812
00:42:21,675 --> 00:42:25,967
I can’t believe what I’m reading.
Are all three of you librarians?
813
00:42:27,883 --> 00:42:28,925
Linguini?
814
00:42:30,133 --> 00:42:31,967
Linguini! Linguini, come here!
815
00:42:32,092 --> 00:42:33,383
- Linguini!
- Linguini!
816
00:42:45,425 --> 00:42:46,425
Annie.
817
00:42:47,925 --> 00:42:48,925
Annie, wake up.
818
00:42:49,258 --> 00:42:50,550
It’s audition day.
819
00:42:52,342 --> 00:42:53,550
It’s so cold.
820
00:42:54,291 --> 00:42:55,304
It says,
821
00:42:55,459 --> 00:42:58,342
"Report to the Liberty Conference Room."
822
00:42:58,425 --> 00:43:01,008
Jesus, this city is,
like, obsessed with freedom.
823
00:43:06,133 --> 00:43:09,175
Annie. Annie. Annie. Annie. Okay.
824
00:43:09,383 --> 00:43:11,842
Okay. Look at me.
How are you feeling? How are you feeling?
825
00:43:11,967 --> 00:43:13,008
Bad.
826
00:43:13,092 --> 00:43:14,332
- Okay.
- I can't do this.
827
00:43:14,383 --> 00:43:15,967
- Yeah, yes, yes.
- Am I sweating?
828
00:43:16,717 --> 00:43:18,508
Um… yeah. You know what?
829
00:43:18,717 --> 00:43:21,675
Put your arms down.
Just put your arms down.
830
00:43:21,925 --> 00:43:26,675
Okay, good. Deep breath, deep breath.
One deep breath. Okay, you know what?
831
00:43:26,758 --> 00:43:28,425
- I can’t do this.
- Yes, you can!
832
00:43:28,508 --> 00:43:29,693
- Mm-mm.
- No! Yes, you can.
833
00:43:29,717 --> 00:43:33,758
Annie. Yes, yes, yes. You know why?
834
00:43:34,842 --> 00:43:35,967
Because you're strong.
835
00:43:36,925 --> 00:43:41,758
Yeah? Okay. All right, let’s go.
Let’s go! Strong girl. Strong girl.
836
00:43:48,300 --> 00:43:51,217
- Hey!
- Hi! Oh, you must be here to audition.
837
00:43:51,300 --> 00:43:52,717
- Thank you.
- Have a seat.
838
00:43:52,800 --> 00:43:53,925
Yep.
839
00:43:54,050 --> 00:43:57,050
Take it, take it. Sit down. Okay.
840
00:43:57,217 --> 00:44:00,300
All right. It’s all good. So exciting.
841
00:44:02,300 --> 00:44:03,842
There’s too many people here.
842
00:44:03,967 --> 00:44:05,092
Oh, don’t think about them.
843
00:44:05,217 --> 00:44:08,508
Just focus on the fact that you need
this money to save Mr. Linguini's life.
844
00:44:09,008 --> 00:44:10,342
That’s not helping.
845
00:44:11,175 --> 00:44:13,467
I can't do this. I can’t go on the show.
846
00:44:13,550 --> 00:44:16,311
I'm... I'm... I'm... I'm...
I'm gonna end up like Marybeth Windlemore!
847
00:44:16,383 --> 00:44:17,758
Who’s Marybeth Windlemore?
848
00:44:18,383 --> 00:44:20,508
The lowest-scoring contestant of all time.
849
00:44:21,050 --> 00:44:24,842
She barely made it through
the Head to Head, and then she just froze.
850
00:44:25,258 --> 00:44:26,578
Martha Stewart.
851
00:44:27,258 --> 00:44:30,550
No… No. I mean… Betty White.
852
00:44:30,758 --> 00:44:33,842
US First Ladies. Focus on the topic.
853
00:44:35,258 --> 00:44:37,717
Nancy Sta… Stalin.
854
00:44:38,300 --> 00:44:39,383
Oh!
855
00:44:39,592 --> 00:44:42,633
And the internet was so mean to her.
856
00:44:43,133 --> 00:44:44,853
People hate it
when women are bad at things.
857
00:44:44,967 --> 00:44:46,568
You're not gonna be bad.
You're gonna be great.
858
00:44:46,592 --> 00:44:49,008
People don’t like it
when women are good at things, either!
859
00:44:49,467 --> 00:44:53,383
And the only reason
why I'm good is because I'm at home.
860
00:44:53,550 --> 00:44:54,883
It's just me and Linguini.
861
00:44:55,508 --> 00:44:58,050
I... I... I can’t play
in front of all these people.
862
00:44:58,133 --> 00:44:59,901
I... I...
I think we should just sell my eggs.
863
00:44:59,925 --> 00:45:02,883
No, no, no, no. No.
Annie, look at me.
864
00:45:03,050 --> 00:45:04,250
Look at me. Annie, look at me.
865
00:45:04,300 --> 00:45:06,550
- Mm?
- It's gonna be okay.
866
00:45:06,717 --> 00:45:09,008
It’s just an audition. Come on.
We made it all this way.
867
00:45:09,383 --> 00:45:11,050
We gotta try, huh?
868
00:45:11,133 --> 00:45:12,651
- Just sit there. Breathe.
- Please.
869
00:45:12,675 --> 00:45:15,217
Okay? I’ll fill this out!
All right? Just sit there.
870
00:45:15,800 --> 00:45:21,883
Today’s date. I don’t know.
Tuesday? Tuesday.
871
00:45:22,092 --> 00:45:24,508
Um, your name. Okay.
872
00:45:24,592 --> 00:45:28,675
Anne Yum.
Anne, do you wanna use Anne or Annie…
873
00:45:31,092 --> 00:45:32,342
♪ So mad, I'm an angry girl… ♪
874
00:45:32,508 --> 00:45:34,675
Hey! Hey!
875
00:45:35,133 --> 00:45:37,383
Get back here
you sneaky, little bitch! Annie!
876
00:45:38,133 --> 00:45:42,133
Don’t you… I told you I ran track!
877
00:45:42,508 --> 00:45:45,342
Rugburn!
878
00:45:45,925 --> 00:45:48,342
- Why are you ruining this?
- Is everything okay?
879
00:45:48,550 --> 00:45:49,925
Oh, we're fine. Thank you.
880
00:45:51,217 --> 00:45:52,758
I am not fine.
881
00:45:52,842 --> 00:45:56,383
- My armpits are like Niagara Falls!
- Okay, just wait. Wait!
882
00:45:56,467 --> 00:46:00,633
Okay, get up. Get up!
Here. Here, here, here, here.
883
00:46:00,883 --> 00:46:02,563
Come on.
God, you are wet underneath there.
884
00:46:02,675 --> 00:46:07,092
Jesus. Okay, here. Just, you know,
put this on so no one can see.
885
00:46:07,883 --> 00:46:09,675
- What is it?
- It’s a hoodie.
886
00:46:10,425 --> 00:46:12,675
Okay. It's gonna be okay.
887
00:46:12,800 --> 00:46:15,758
You're having a panic attack.
We just need to get through it.
888
00:46:16,133 --> 00:46:17,300
How?
889
00:46:18,092 --> 00:46:20,675
Well, we're running short on time so, um…
890
00:46:22,425 --> 00:46:23,550
do you want drugs?
891
00:46:24,300 --> 00:46:25,800
- What?
- Do you want drugs?
892
00:46:26,508 --> 00:46:29,550
- I can’t…
- Drugs! For your anxiety!
893
00:46:30,008 --> 00:46:31,217
You have drugs?
894
00:46:32,383 --> 00:46:34,675
Oh, yeah. I got a ton of stuff.
895
00:46:36,133 --> 00:46:40,717
Um… I've got party pills,
Zen pills, fun stuff...
896
00:46:40,800 --> 00:46:42,300
Is that cocaine?
897
00:46:42,592 --> 00:46:46,467
It's stevia.
Do you ever use stevia?
898
00:46:46,550 --> 00:46:48,883
The sweetener?
Yeah. Yeah, I’ve got it in my pocket.
899
00:46:50,883 --> 00:46:54,383
God. You need this.
Doctors prescribe these.
900
00:46:55,175 --> 00:46:57,234
Okay, well, not these exactly.
These are from the street
901
00:46:57,258 --> 00:46:59,633
but they will help relax you a little.
902
00:47:00,675 --> 00:47:02,967
CSQ auditions begin in three minutes.
903
00:47:03,050 --> 00:47:05,508
All entrants report
to the Liberty Conference Room.
904
00:47:05,758 --> 00:47:08,133
Okay. For Linguini.
905
00:47:08,842 --> 00:47:12,633
Great. Hold this.
Got some water in here somewhere.
906
00:47:13,008 --> 00:47:16,217
I think… Okay.
And only take a quarter because…
907
00:47:17,717 --> 00:47:18,842
Because what?
908
00:47:21,675 --> 00:47:25,050
- Because what? Because what?
- Because. Because I want some.
909
00:47:25,883 --> 00:47:29,467
And now, you ate them all.
Okay, let’s go. Let’s go.
910
00:47:30,467 --> 00:47:32,550
- Thank you.
- Thirty-one!
911
00:47:33,883 --> 00:47:36,083
- Now, you look like you have a bowl cut.
- No, I don't.
912
00:47:36,133 --> 00:47:38,883
Okay, pretty, pretty, right? Right?
913
00:47:38,967 --> 00:47:40,734
- How you feeling?
- Anne Yum, are you here?
914
00:47:40,758 --> 00:47:42,568
- The same!
- Oh, yes, yes. We're here. We're here!
915
00:47:42,592 --> 00:47:44,592
She just had a little ladies' thing
916
00:47:44,675 --> 00:47:45,859
- in the ladies' room, so...
- Oh, okay.
917
00:47:45,883 --> 00:47:48,592
Oh, no, no. It's not for me.
It's for my sister, Anne. Anne Yum.
918
00:47:49,008 --> 00:47:50,484
- You want her here now?
- Yeah.
919
00:47:50,508 --> 00:47:53,883
When are these drugs gonna kick in?
920
00:47:54,258 --> 00:47:55,508
♪ Watermelon sugar ♪
921
00:47:55,592 --> 00:47:56,883
♪ Strawberries ♪
922
00:47:57,758 --> 00:47:59,675
♪ On a summer evenin' ♪
923
00:48:01,258 --> 00:48:03,925
♪ Baby, you're the end of June… ♪
924
00:48:04,383 --> 00:48:05,425
Hi, Anne!
925
00:48:05,508 --> 00:48:06,925
♪ … I want your belly ♪
926
00:48:07,717 --> 00:48:09,508
♪ And that summer feelin' ♪
927
00:48:11,300 --> 00:48:14,092
♪ Getting washed away in you ♪
928
00:48:14,467 --> 00:48:19,050
♪ Breathe me in, breathe me out ♪
929
00:48:19,383 --> 00:48:24,383
♪ I don't know
if I could ever go without ♪
930
00:48:24,467 --> 00:48:26,550
♪ Watermelon sugar high ♪
931
00:48:26,883 --> 00:48:29,133
♪ Watermelon sugar high ♪
932
00:48:29,467 --> 00:48:30,633
♪ Watermelon sugar high… ♪
933
00:48:30,800 --> 00:48:31,800
Annie.
934
00:48:32,050 --> 00:48:34,092
♪ …Watermelon sugar high ♪
935
00:48:34,383 --> 00:48:35,758
♪ Watermelon sugar… ♪
936
00:48:35,967 --> 00:48:37,800
- Hi, Annie!
- Hi, Annie!
937
00:48:37,925 --> 00:48:39,300
♪ Watermelon sugar high… ♪
938
00:48:39,883 --> 00:48:40,883
Annie!
939
00:48:41,800 --> 00:48:42,842
Hi!
940
00:48:44,925 --> 00:48:46,425
Close your mouth, you look insane.
941
00:48:47,050 --> 00:48:48,693
All right, for today's audition,
942
00:48:48,717 --> 00:48:51,592
everyone is going to get a chance to play
all three rounds.
943
00:48:51,758 --> 00:48:53,300
We will start with the Blitz.
944
00:48:53,508 --> 00:48:56,175
- Hi! I love your bangs.
- Please don't make her go first.
945
00:48:56,258 --> 00:48:57,592
Please don't make her go first.
946
00:48:57,717 --> 00:49:00,651
- Angela Jackson. Come on up.
- Close your mouth. Close your mouth.
947
00:49:00,675 --> 00:49:03,300
- Charles Von Kampf and…
- Annie.
948
00:49:05,133 --> 00:49:07,883
- …Anne Yum.
- Oh, shit! Anne.
949
00:49:08,633 --> 00:49:12,217
Anne, it's your turn to play.
950
00:49:12,383 --> 00:49:14,967
♪ …High, watermelon sugar… ♪
951
00:49:15,175 --> 00:49:18,258
Bye. Good. Bye. Bye.
952
00:49:18,425 --> 00:49:20,609
Okay, so you're gonna take
a seat and then we're gonna look
953
00:49:20,633 --> 00:49:21,842
at our categories.
954
00:49:21,925 --> 00:49:24,883
Film, Italian literature, language,
955
00:49:24,967 --> 00:49:28,050
- museums, physics, world history…
- Don't wanna sit on it wrong.
956
00:49:28,133 --> 00:49:29,217
- …home gardening.
- Jeez.
957
00:49:29,300 --> 00:49:30,675
Entomology and weather.
958
00:49:31,133 --> 00:49:33,592
So soft. Do you realize...
You feel how soft it is?
959
00:49:34,342 --> 00:49:36,592
Okay, so we have five minutes
on the clock.
960
00:49:37,008 --> 00:49:39,258
And your time starts now.
961
00:49:39,467 --> 00:49:42,967
What was the first film
to gross over a billion dollars worldwide?
962
00:49:43,050 --> 00:49:44,300
- Angela.
- Titanic.
963
00:49:44,383 --> 00:49:46,276
- Yes. The majority of weather…
- Wake up!
964
00:49:46,300 --> 00:49:48,308
…occurs in which atmospheric layer?
965
00:49:48,332 --> 00:49:49,389
Angela.
966
00:49:49,413 --> 00:49:51,080
- Troposphere.
- Correct.
967
00:49:51,104 --> 00:49:52,842
- What is the deadliest insect?
- Annie!
968
00:49:52,925 --> 00:49:54,508
- Mosquito.
- You nailed it.
969
00:49:54,592 --> 00:49:56,717
What is the oldest written language?
970
00:49:56,800 --> 00:49:58,068
Charles.
971
00:49:58,092 --> 00:49:59,133
- Sumerian.
- Yes.
972
00:49:59,342 --> 00:50:00,925
Look at you, Father Time.
973
00:50:01,133 --> 00:50:03,508
What's that, Miss Yum?
974
00:50:03,675 --> 00:50:05,550
Mm. What are you doing?
975
00:50:05,883 --> 00:50:06,967
- Miss Yum?
- Hmm.
976
00:50:07,592 --> 00:50:09,425
Is everything all right, Miss Yum?
977
00:50:10,592 --> 00:50:12,443
Who was the first president
to be photographed
978
00:50:12,467 --> 00:50:14,092
at their inauguration?
979
00:50:14,175 --> 00:50:15,675
- Abraham Lincoln.
- Yes. Correct.
980
00:50:15,967 --> 00:50:18,467
Oh! Do you know that
because you were there?
981
00:50:18,633 --> 00:50:22,508
Miss Yum, you… you doing okay?
982
00:50:22,675 --> 00:50:24,758
- Shit! Shit!
- Oh. I'm just kinda hot.
983
00:50:24,842 --> 00:50:26,068
- I think I might just…
- Okay.
984
00:50:26,092 --> 00:50:27,758
- …take this off because I don't…
- Bingo.
985
00:50:27,842 --> 00:50:29,717
- The sleeves. It’s hot in here.
- Up, up!
986
00:50:29,800 --> 00:50:32,026
- Whoa, that's tight.
- Sorry. Sorry. My bad, my bad, my bad.
987
00:50:32,050 --> 00:50:34,092
I forgot to give her
her diabetes medication.
988
00:50:34,217 --> 00:50:36,109
- You got popcorn?
- No, no, I don't have popcorn.
989
00:50:36,133 --> 00:50:37,734
- Put this down. Hey, hey.
- Hi, Jenny.
990
00:50:37,758 --> 00:50:39,484
When she doesn't take it,
she gets drowsy, so…
991
00:50:39,508 --> 00:50:42,008
Drowsiness can't be solved
by diabetes medication.
992
00:50:42,842 --> 00:50:44,258
- Are you a doctor?
- Yes.
993
00:50:44,425 --> 00:50:45,883
- A diabetes doctor?
- Yes.
994
00:50:47,300 --> 00:50:50,008
Well, this is Eastern medicine,
so get with the times, Big Pharma.
995
00:50:50,175 --> 00:50:51,217
Annie, take your medicine.
996
00:50:51,300 --> 00:50:52,359
That… that… that's good.
997
00:50:52,383 --> 00:50:53,383
Okay, now, swallow.
998
00:50:53,508 --> 00:50:55,342
Swallow.
999
00:50:55,467 --> 00:51:00,883
- Now, swallow, swallow. Great.
- Annie, now you can play.
1000
00:51:00,967 --> 00:51:03,467
Our next question is in the sciences.
1001
00:51:03,800 --> 00:51:05,675
What is the only element…
1002
00:51:05,758 --> 00:51:07,550
…that can exist without…
1003
00:51:07,633 --> 00:51:09,234
…neutrons?
1004
00:51:10,342 --> 00:51:11,862
- H… hydrogen.
- Correct.
1005
00:51:11,925 --> 00:51:14,883
What is the smallest bone
in the human body?
1006
00:51:14,967 --> 00:51:17,633
You have to get them all, Anne.
Or else we'll die!
1007
00:51:17,717 --> 00:51:18,943
It's the stapes!
1008
00:51:18,967 --> 00:51:20,800
The stapes! The stapes!
1009
00:51:20,883 --> 00:51:22,675
Yes. C… correct.
1010
00:51:22,842 --> 00:51:25,092
Yes! Just gotta keep this up
for a couple more hours.
1011
00:51:25,208 --> 00:51:26,707
- Oh, God!
- Anne?
1012
00:51:26,800 --> 00:51:28,008
Correct!
1013
00:51:28,092 --> 00:51:29,151
- Oh, no!
- You got it.
1014
00:51:29,175 --> 00:51:30,776
Anne. Anne. Anne. Anne. Yes!
1015
00:51:30,800 --> 00:51:33,434
No, no! Are you seeing this?
1016
00:51:34,217 --> 00:51:36,050
Okay, and one for Anne.
1017
00:51:36,217 --> 00:51:38,175
Best Picture Oscar winners.
1018
00:51:39,175 --> 00:51:41,359
- I'mma do it in order if that's okay.
- Oh, you don't have to…
1019
00:51:41,383 --> 00:51:43,526
Wings, Broadway Melody,
All Quiet on the Western Front,
1020
00:51:43,550 --> 00:51:44,901
Cimarron, Grand Hotel…
1021
00:51:44,925 --> 00:51:47,734
…Cavalcade, It Happened One Night,
Mutiny on the Bounty, The Great Ziegfeld,
1022
00:51:47,758 --> 00:51:49,092
- Time!
- All About Eve.
1023
00:51:49,175 --> 00:51:50,984
- An American in Paris.
- Okay, your time is up.
1024
00:51:51,008 --> 00:51:53,443
The Greatest Show on Earth, Birdman,
Spotlight, Moonlight, Shape of Water,
1025
00:51:53,467 --> 00:51:56,008
Green Book, Parasite, Nomadland, CODA!
1026
00:51:56,092 --> 00:51:58,467
Oh, hello!
1027
00:51:58,550 --> 00:52:00,383
- Okay!
- I'm sorry.
1028
00:52:00,842 --> 00:52:03,717
Okay. That was amazing.
1029
00:52:03,800 --> 00:52:05,401
I had no idea
you've seen all those movies!
1030
00:52:05,425 --> 00:52:07,633
I haven't.
I feel like my heart's gonna explode.
1031
00:52:07,717 --> 00:52:11,800
Okay? Um. You know what?
Here's something. Eat something. Eat this.
1032
00:52:11,883 --> 00:52:13,342
Uh. It might take the edge off.
1033
00:52:14,133 --> 00:52:17,300
You know what? I have some…
I have some water in here too.
1034
00:52:17,383 --> 00:52:19,883
So, maybe... Okay, okay. You know what?
1035
00:52:20,467 --> 00:52:21,947
That's good. Take a moment.
1036
00:52:22,008 --> 00:52:23,842
Take a moment. Breathe.
1037
00:52:23,925 --> 00:52:26,443
God, it's like you're a boxer
or something! This is so exciting!
1038
00:52:26,467 --> 00:52:28,425
Okay. Okay. There's just, like, what?
1039
00:52:28,508 --> 00:52:29,508
The Coin?
1040
00:52:29,717 --> 00:52:31,842
Oh, God. The Coin!
1041
00:52:31,925 --> 00:52:34,092
I know,
it looks a lot bigger on TV.
1042
00:52:34,258 --> 00:52:38,300
Heads is "Say It" and tails is "Show It!
1043
00:52:38,800 --> 00:52:41,008
And it's heads!
1044
00:52:41,467 --> 00:52:43,008
Yes! Victory is mine!
1045
00:52:43,092 --> 00:52:44,883
And I feel so relieved
because I can win now,
1046
00:52:45,008 --> 00:52:46,592
and the clouds above won't die.
1047
00:52:48,175 --> 00:52:52,925
Yes, yes. The clouds won't die.
They're gonna live.
1048
00:52:53,050 --> 00:52:55,217
It's an old Chinese saying, you know?
1049
00:52:55,342 --> 00:52:57,467
- Yeah. Blessings.
- Ah!
1050
00:52:58,758 --> 00:53:00,967
Okay. Here we are, here we are.
1051
00:53:01,050 --> 00:53:04,133
- Step down, step down, and down.
- The metal chariot.
1052
00:53:04,217 --> 00:53:06,693
- No, no, no, no, no, no. Not… Not that.
- I don't go in the trunk?
1053
00:53:06,717 --> 00:53:08,300
- Shotgun.
- Yeah. Yeah, yeah.
1054
00:53:08,383 --> 00:53:11,008
- Okay, okay. All right.
- Well, at least I did it.
1055
00:53:11,092 --> 00:53:15,175
Uh. You didn't just do it, Annie.
You crushed that audition.
1056
00:53:15,967 --> 00:53:18,550
Okay? Yeah, yeah.
Okay. Just get in, get in.
1057
00:53:18,883 --> 00:53:22,175
Wanna get your leg in?
Okay, there we go. She's in, she's in.
1058
00:53:22,258 --> 00:53:25,092
- Not kidnapping her, are you?
- Not anymore.
1059
00:53:33,258 --> 00:53:34,383
Ah!
1060
00:53:35,467 --> 00:53:37,717
Surprising that you have
Eggs Benedict here.
1061
00:53:37,800 --> 00:53:42,008
Yeah! Oh, yes! Pains me to serve
a dish named after a traitor.
1062
00:53:42,425 --> 00:53:46,800
Alas, it's a popular item
which the ignorant expect on every buffet.
1063
00:53:47,133 --> 00:53:49,175
And herein lies my conundrum.
1064
00:53:49,467 --> 00:53:51,675
Sounds like you might need
to make a pro-con list.
1065
00:53:51,758 --> 00:53:54,342
Oh! Look at you, Miss Yum.
1066
00:53:54,467 --> 00:53:58,092
You have read my 1772 letter
to Joseph Priestly, have you not?
1067
00:53:58,217 --> 00:53:59,443
- Well…
- That's wonderful.
1068
00:53:59,467 --> 00:54:00,734
- Annie!
- Uh-oh, the enemy.
1069
00:54:00,758 --> 00:54:03,383
Oh, my God. Oh, my God.
The Quiz just emailed.
1070
00:54:03,675 --> 00:54:05,342
They said to expect a call soon.
1071
00:54:06,092 --> 00:54:08,234
Oh, my God, I can't believe it.
1072
00:54:08,258 --> 00:54:12,258
- I'm… I'm… I'm gonna be on the show.
- And you thought I could not be Oprah.
1073
00:54:12,342 --> 00:54:13,342
Well, too bad
1074
00:54:13,425 --> 00:54:14,484
the Choochie's money isn't real.
1075
00:54:14,508 --> 00:54:16,234
You'd be flying
around the world like Mary Poppins
1076
00:54:16,258 --> 00:54:19,550
- with that gigantic unnecessary bag.
- Mm-hmm.
1077
00:54:20,258 --> 00:54:21,633
- Well…
- What?
1078
00:54:23,050 --> 00:54:25,800
Um. I lied about the Choochie's money.
1079
00:54:25,967 --> 00:54:27,592
- Yeah, I know.
- No, no, no, no.
1080
00:54:27,717 --> 00:54:30,633
I lied about lying
about the Choochie's money.
1081
00:54:30,717 --> 00:54:32,092
It's totally real!
1082
00:54:32,342 --> 00:54:34,300
I'm getting a giant check,
just like on TV.
1083
00:54:34,383 --> 00:54:36,183
- I made them put that in the contract.
- But…
1084
00:54:36,550 --> 00:54:38,842
I'm sorry.
Uh. Wh… what are you saying?
1085
00:54:38,925 --> 00:54:43,550
Oh, I knew that the only way
that you would do this is if you thought
1086
00:54:43,633 --> 00:54:45,300
it was the only way.
1087
00:54:46,967 --> 00:54:48,050
Life coaching.
1088
00:54:48,133 --> 00:54:53,217
Yeah, but we could've paid off the debt
and I could have Linguini back.
1089
00:54:53,633 --> 00:54:55,793
Yeah, but I told you
that the money hasn't come in yet.
1090
00:54:56,008 --> 00:54:57,008
Oh, my God!
1091
00:54:57,633 --> 00:55:00,008
- Even your lies are lies.
- I'm not lying.
1092
00:55:00,592 --> 00:55:01,800
You always do this.
1093
00:55:01,967 --> 00:55:04,550
You don't think
about the consequences of your actions.
1094
00:55:04,633 --> 00:55:08,175
Mr. Linguini is everything to me,
and to you, he's just a pawn.
1095
00:55:08,883 --> 00:55:11,050
- I thought you were trying to help me.
- I am.
1096
00:55:11,133 --> 00:55:14,883
I'm helping you get him back
while also seizing your destiny!
1097
00:55:14,967 --> 00:55:19,258
- Oh, my God, destiny isn't real!
- Yes, it is. We all have a purpose.
1098
00:55:19,342 --> 00:55:20,383
We just need to find it.
1099
00:55:20,467 --> 00:55:22,633
No. See, that's just a lie
that you tell yourself
1100
00:55:22,717 --> 00:55:24,883
because you're just chasing
these stupid dreams,
1101
00:55:24,967 --> 00:55:26,984
then blaming whatever you can
when they don't work out.
1102
00:55:27,008 --> 00:55:31,217
But the truth is, it's you.
You're selfish. You're reckless.
1103
00:55:31,717 --> 00:55:34,092
- You are just like Mom!
- Don't say that!
1104
00:55:35,508 --> 00:55:37,883
Just take some responsibility
for your life.
1105
00:55:37,967 --> 00:55:39,758
Stop being such a goddamn loser.
1106
00:55:45,467 --> 00:55:46,883
You're the loser!
1107
00:55:47,383 --> 00:55:49,443
Yes, I am lonely and currently unhoused…
1108
00:55:49,467 --> 00:55:52,050
…and my life hasn't turned out
exactly the way I wanted.
1109
00:55:52,467 --> 00:55:55,883
Do you have any idea how hard it is
to be an Asian woman in this country?
1110
00:55:57,342 --> 00:55:59,425
- Oh, my God!
- But at least I've lived!
1111
00:55:59,508 --> 00:56:00,721
What have you done with your life?
1112
00:56:00,745 --> 00:56:02,568
I mean, you just, like,
hide out in your robot house
1113
00:56:02,592 --> 00:56:04,633
just while watching the Quiz,
watching the Quiz.
1114
00:56:04,758 --> 00:56:07,467
Yeah, and take care of Mom
and lend you money, and support myself.
1115
00:56:07,550 --> 00:56:09,592
I am responsible for everything!
1116
00:56:09,675 --> 00:56:12,550
- Excuse me, ladies, if you don't mind...
- Fuck off, Ben Franklin!
1117
00:56:12,717 --> 00:56:14,758
I absolutely will.
1118
00:56:14,967 --> 00:56:17,050
You're the older sister,
you're supposed to help me.
1119
00:56:17,258 --> 00:56:20,508
But you never have, you were never there.
All you care about is yourself!
1120
00:56:20,675 --> 00:56:23,092
That is not true.
I was always looking out for you.
1121
00:56:23,800 --> 00:56:24,800
Yeah? When?
1122
00:56:24,883 --> 00:56:28,008
In Burbank!
When you shit in the goddamn hole!
1123
00:56:30,175 --> 00:56:32,175
You didn't bury it deep enough.
1124
00:56:33,133 --> 00:56:34,213
So, the next day,
1125
00:56:34,338 --> 00:56:36,276
when So-Yung and Na-Yung
and I got back from Starbucks…
1126
00:56:36,300 --> 00:56:38,359
Appa said you can live with us
and you can come with me
1127
00:56:38,383 --> 00:56:39,717
to UCLA next year!
1128
00:56:39,800 --> 00:56:41,883
- And we can start our fashion line!
- Yeah!
1129
00:56:41,967 --> 00:56:42,967
- Oh, my God!
- Oh, Jenny!
1130
00:56:43,050 --> 00:56:44,175
Uh. Guys.
1131
00:56:44,467 --> 00:56:48,342
- Come here. You gotta see this.
- Cousin Jin found it.
1132
00:56:48,967 --> 00:56:51,717
- Ew!
- Tiger, did you do this?
1133
00:56:52,008 --> 00:56:55,883
- How could that come out of Tiger?
- Well, then who did it?
1134
00:56:57,425 --> 00:56:58,905
I knew right away it was you.
1135
00:57:01,508 --> 00:57:04,050
And it was just a matter of time
before they figured it out.
1136
00:57:07,758 --> 00:57:10,842
So, I told them I did it.
1137
00:57:13,300 --> 00:57:16,092
Ew!
1138
00:57:18,133 --> 00:57:20,675
Uncle Joon was gonna let us live
with them in Burbank
1139
00:57:20,758 --> 00:57:24,800
'cause Mom was, like, on a bender.
But everything changed after that.
1140
00:57:25,883 --> 00:57:28,717
I mean, do… do you know how insane
an 18-year-old would have to be
1141
00:57:28,800 --> 00:57:30,217
to shit in a hole?
1142
00:57:32,550 --> 00:57:33,800
Why didn't you tell me?
1143
00:57:35,508 --> 00:57:36,675
Because you were eight.
1144
00:57:42,633 --> 00:57:45,008
Asshole!
1145
00:57:57,967 --> 00:58:01,425
Anne, where is my 100 bucks?
1146
00:58:03,217 --> 00:58:06,925
Anne…
1147
00:58:08,383 --> 00:58:10,800
You… you… you… you wanna come in?
1148
00:58:11,300 --> 00:58:13,050
Come on.
1149
00:58:21,883 --> 00:58:23,592
Here.
1150
00:58:28,383 --> 00:58:31,008
I didn't know
you were a Pee-wee Herman fan.
1151
00:58:31,925 --> 00:58:33,508
Who the hell is Pee-wee Herman?
1152
00:58:34,383 --> 00:58:35,425
P... Uh.
1153
00:58:36,883 --> 00:58:41,675
That's Alan Cumming from The Good Wife.
Such a wonderful actor.
1154
00:58:41,758 --> 00:58:45,342
And that Scottish accent of his.
1155
00:58:46,050 --> 00:58:48,717
That's not Alan Cumming,
that's P... That's Paul Reubens.
1156
00:58:48,800 --> 00:58:51,800
He plays Pee-wee… Herman.
1157
00:58:51,883 --> 00:58:56,133
I think I would know
who my favorite actor is,
1158
00:58:56,217 --> 00:58:59,800
thank you very much. That is Alan Cumming.
1159
00:59:01,133 --> 00:59:02,217
Mm-hmm.
1160
00:59:04,633 --> 00:59:06,842
So, what's wrong with you?
1161
00:59:08,342 --> 00:59:09,383
I just…
1162
00:59:11,217 --> 00:59:12,425
I thought I was happy.
1163
00:59:13,508 --> 00:59:14,550
And maybe I wasn't.
1164
00:59:15,675 --> 00:59:18,592
I've just been so scared.
1165
00:59:19,342 --> 00:59:24,175
You know, scared of… of being judged,
being laughed at.
1166
00:59:25,175 --> 00:59:28,467
When I was younger,
I wasted so much energy
1167
00:59:28,592 --> 00:59:30,550
trying to get people to like me.
1168
00:59:31,675 --> 00:59:33,925
And for what? Hmm?
1169
00:59:34,633 --> 00:59:38,717
So, I could get invited
to some potluck dinner party?
1170
00:59:38,800 --> 00:59:42,967
- And terrible games of charades?
- Ugh. I hate charades.
1171
00:59:43,050 --> 00:59:47,758
Oh, I love charades.
I am an excellent guesser.
1172
00:59:48,092 --> 00:59:51,758
So long as the person who's acting out
the clues is not a total imbecile,
1173
00:59:51,842 --> 00:59:53,800
which they usually are.
1174
00:59:53,925 --> 00:59:55,633
I've been alive a long time.
1175
00:59:56,675 --> 00:59:58,092
I've met a lot of people.
1176
00:59:59,508 --> 01:00:00,758
I only liked one.
1177
01:00:02,967 --> 01:00:03,967
Was it me?
1178
01:00:05,217 --> 01:00:07,675
No. You get too much mail.
1179
01:00:08,758 --> 01:00:14,258
The point is…
…you don't want to waste time
1180
01:00:14,383 --> 01:00:17,342
looking for happiness in other people…
1181
01:00:18,508 --> 01:00:20,258
because happiness…
1182
01:00:21,800 --> 01:00:25,508
happiness… does not exist.
1183
01:00:27,342 --> 01:00:28,800
Mm-hmm.
1184
01:00:28,883 --> 01:00:31,883
Oh! Judge Judy.
1185
01:00:32,050 --> 01:00:34,508
Next up,
she's the voice you trust.
1186
01:00:44,217 --> 01:00:45,508
- Hello?
- Hi!
1187
01:00:45,592 --> 01:00:49,633
We wanna put Anne on Can't Stop the Quiz.
Can she fly out ASAP?
1188
01:00:50,008 --> 01:00:52,925
Um. I'm sorry.
I'm no longer part of her journey.
1189
01:00:53,008 --> 01:00:56,050
So, you'll have to call her directly.
1190
01:00:56,342 --> 01:00:58,675
Um. I'm sorry, journey?
Where is she go…
1191
01:01:07,092 --> 01:01:09,925
Internal auditing.
1192
01:01:10,133 --> 01:01:11,675
Hi! Is this Anne Yum?
1193
01:01:13,800 --> 01:01:14,800
Yes.
1194
01:01:14,883 --> 01:01:16,758
This is Mercedes from the Quiz.
1195
01:01:16,842 --> 01:01:18,925
Great news!
We'd love to have you on the show!
1196
01:01:19,008 --> 01:01:21,717
- Any chance you could fly out tonight?
- Tonight?
1197
01:01:21,800 --> 01:01:23,984
- Okay. You’re gonna regret…
- Yeah, I know it's last minute…
1198
01:01:24,008 --> 01:01:25,217
I'm telling you…
1199
01:01:25,300 --> 01:01:27,276
…but we'd love to capitalize
on the buzz from your video.
1200
01:01:27,300 --> 01:01:28,943
I can't really hear you.
Hold on one sec.
1201
01:01:28,967 --> 01:01:32,109
- Oh, my God. Obsessed with the neti pot.
- I got you one for Christmas for a reason.
1202
01:01:32,133 --> 01:01:33,133
God!
1203
01:01:33,758 --> 01:01:36,842
Uh. Do you guys, like, have to eat here?
Or, like, is there another…
1204
01:01:37,508 --> 01:01:39,925
- This is our spot, Fran.
- Yeah, it's kinda great.
1205
01:01:40,008 --> 01:01:41,609
‘Cause then the food smell
stays over here,
1206
01:01:41,633 --> 01:01:43,313
- not at our desks.
- Yeah. I know, I know.
1207
01:01:43,383 --> 01:01:44,943
- No one's here, like…
- Yeah.
1208
01:01:44,967 --> 01:01:46,526
- You're sweating.
- It's really spicy.
1209
01:01:46,550 --> 01:01:47,550
Hello?
1210
01:01:47,633 --> 01:01:49,568
- Sorry about that, I just…
- And we need the information
1211
01:01:49,592 --> 01:01:50,672
for whoever you wanna bring
1212
01:01:50,717 --> 01:01:51,984
…as your partner.
1213
01:01:52,008 --> 01:01:55,092
I'm so sorry about that.
I just had... Sorry, one second. I just…
1214
01:01:55,175 --> 01:01:57,484
Like, I'm, like, dripping,
my back is dripping sweat.
1215
01:01:57,508 --> 01:01:59,592
Hey!
1216
01:02:00,508 --> 01:02:04,842
I am sick of being treated
like some silent, invisible man.
1217
01:02:04,925 --> 01:02:08,925
I exist! And I know that you guys
don't see me around the office.
1218
01:02:09,925 --> 01:02:13,592
But you're gonna see me
tomorrow night on television.
1219
01:02:13,883 --> 01:02:15,925
Book it, Mercedes!
1220
01:02:19,050 --> 01:02:21,170
♪ Balls hanging low
while I pop a bottle off a yacht ♪
1221
01:02:21,217 --> 01:02:23,467
♪ Chain swanging
cling-clang and it cost a lot ♪
1222
01:02:23,592 --> 01:02:25,767
♪ Bitch, I'm always at the guala, yeah
and you are not ♪
1223
01:02:25,791 --> 01:02:27,979
♪ Badass B
keep on going 'til you hit the spot ♪
1224
01:02:28,092 --> 01:02:29,812
♪ Whoa, I'm a big bag hunter
with the bow… ♪
1225
01:02:29,883 --> 01:02:33,083
- I'm coming for you, Linguini.
- ♪ She got a big bad dumper, drop it low ♪
1226
01:02:33,133 --> 01:02:35,258
♪ Mama called me
and she happy with the growth ♪
1227
01:02:35,342 --> 01:02:37,842
♪ Never ever fold for a thottie
that's an oath ♪
1228
01:02:38,008 --> 01:02:40,608
♪ Just popped her kidney
I bought a million options of the stock ♪
1229
01:02:41,342 --> 01:02:44,276
♪ Man, I rock arenas, bringin' the peace
I'm bumpin' that 'Pac in the car ♪
1230
01:02:44,300 --> 01:02:46,460
♪ Pretendin' I got all the eyes on me
got a bad baby… ♪
1231
01:02:46,508 --> 01:02:47,842
Hi.
1232
01:02:49,217 --> 01:02:50,842
- Danielle!
- Wendy.
1233
01:02:50,925 --> 01:02:53,925
- Wendy!
- I wanted to give you this as a thank you.
1234
01:02:54,550 --> 01:02:55,758
For what?
1235
01:02:55,967 --> 01:02:59,758
You inspired me. I convinced my boss
to let me take over the pastries.
1236
01:03:00,258 --> 01:03:04,050
- What?
- You changed my life, Janet.
1237
01:03:05,133 --> 01:03:06,175
It's Jenny.
1238
01:03:07,883 --> 01:03:08,967
Raspberry fennel.
1239
01:03:09,050 --> 01:03:10,818
♪ Feel so hot like
I'm chillin' on the beach ♪
1240
01:03:10,842 --> 01:03:13,133
♪ Yeah, baby in the sun
like the Teletubbies ♪
1241
01:03:13,217 --> 01:03:14,217
♪ Whoa ♪
1242
01:03:14,300 --> 01:03:16,008
♪ I'm a big bag hunter with the bow ♪
1243
01:03:16,133 --> 01:03:18,342
♪ She got a big bad dumper, drop it low ♪
1244
01:03:18,425 --> 01:03:20,592
♪ Mama called me
and she happy with the growth ♪
1245
01:03:20,675 --> 01:03:22,443
♪ Never ever fold for a thottie
that's an oath ♪
1246
01:03:22,467 --> 01:03:25,217
Hey, girls. That's enough.
1247
01:03:27,342 --> 01:03:30,925
- What now?
- I need you to come with me to California.
1248
01:03:31,092 --> 01:03:33,508
- What are you vaping? No!
- No. I need a partner
1249
01:03:33,592 --> 01:03:37,633
in case the coin flip lands on "Show It"
and I don't have anybody else.
1250
01:03:38,967 --> 01:03:40,592
Well, what the hell is "Show It"?
1251
01:03:42,675 --> 01:03:44,092
You are strong.
1252
01:03:44,425 --> 01:03:49,217
♪ Better get that brass ready, huh
Here we go, hey ♪
1253
01:03:50,633 --> 01:03:51,633
♪ Hey! ♪
1254
01:03:54,425 --> 01:03:57,092
- ♪ Hey! ♪
- ♪ Shake that brass, stop ♪
1255
01:04:08,217 --> 01:04:09,537
I'm here to see Ken.
1256
01:04:10,258 --> 01:04:12,092
♪ Get on the floor, shake that brass ♪
1257
01:04:14,092 --> 01:04:15,652
♪ I get down, down, baby ♪
1258
01:04:26,400 --> 01:04:27,733
♪ Shake that brass ♪
1259
01:04:29,175 --> 01:04:30,758
Who the hell is this?
1260
01:04:30,842 --> 01:04:32,592
Crystal's other daughter.
1261
01:04:33,133 --> 01:04:35,717
- How'd you find me?
- My ex-boyfriend's CIA.
1262
01:04:35,800 --> 01:04:38,175
Coming here was a big mistake.
1263
01:04:38,258 --> 01:04:41,383
I will get you the money, but first,
you're gonna give me back that dog.
1264
01:04:43,217 --> 01:04:45,151
Actually, we're gonna break your arms.
1265
01:04:46,258 --> 01:04:49,008
I'll… I'll… I'll… I'll…
I'll pay you double. I swear, I swear.
1266
01:04:49,092 --> 01:04:51,883
I'm about to get a very large
cash settlement from Choochie's!
1267
01:04:51,967 --> 01:04:52,967
You know, Choochie's,
1268
01:04:53,050 --> 01:04:54,290
the nationwide chain.
1269
01:04:54,342 --> 01:04:56,068
Oh, my God, you're so sweaty.
1270
01:04:56,092 --> 01:04:58,217
You're just like your mom.
1271
01:04:58,383 --> 01:05:00,842
- That crazy crying. That screaming.
- No, no, no!
1272
01:05:00,925 --> 01:05:03,565
You really think you're gonna bail her out
with that same bullshit?
1273
01:05:05,008 --> 01:05:08,258
I am not my mom.
And I am not here for her.
1274
01:05:09,425 --> 01:05:10,633
I'm here for Anne,
1275
01:05:10,717 --> 01:05:14,092
and that dog has been
by her side for the last 20 years.
1276
01:05:14,383 --> 01:05:16,467
- What? How old is he?
- Old!
1277
01:05:17,550 --> 01:05:20,758
Yes, Annie is an anxious,
sweaty little weirdo,
1278
01:05:21,050 --> 01:05:24,008
but she is my sister. And she needs me.
1279
01:05:25,133 --> 01:05:27,592
So, I need that dog.
1280
01:05:30,550 --> 01:05:32,342
Just like you need my money.
1281
01:05:32,675 --> 01:05:35,133
Oh, I've done my research, right?
1282
01:05:35,217 --> 01:05:37,443
We Asians like our research, right?
1283
01:05:37,467 --> 01:05:41,800
And you're, like, what,
six months behind on rent? Oh.
1284
01:05:41,883 --> 01:05:45,217
I'm so sorry, I'm so sorry.
Did you… did you boys not know?
1285
01:05:47,967 --> 01:05:53,092
Shame. Where did all of the money go, hmm?
Up your nose? On your tats?
1286
01:05:53,175 --> 01:05:55,092
- In your man buns?
- It's the dogs.
1287
01:05:57,133 --> 01:05:59,508
These people, they're monsters.
1288
01:06:00,133 --> 01:06:02,050
Half of them never come back
for their dogs.
1289
01:06:02,133 --> 01:06:04,883
Oh, and the purebreds,
they have issues, you know?
1290
01:06:04,967 --> 01:06:08,633
Skin problems,
kidney problems, anxiety.
1291
01:06:09,050 --> 01:06:11,925
My poor Crispy over there
needs constant attention or he gets sad.
1292
01:06:12,008 --> 01:06:15,008
I'm all they've got.
1293
01:06:16,342 --> 01:06:20,717
Give me back Linguini, and when my big,
fat Choochie's check comes in,
1294
01:06:20,800 --> 01:06:22,717
I'll solve all your money problems.
1295
01:06:24,383 --> 01:06:25,592
Do we have a deal?
1296
01:06:25,925 --> 01:06:29,050
Nope.
1297
01:06:31,467 --> 01:06:32,633
She took my dog!
1298
01:06:34,217 --> 01:06:35,675
♪ Shake that brass ♪
1299
01:06:35,967 --> 01:06:40,508
- ♪ Hey, ho, hey, ho, hey, ho ♪
- ♪ Yeah, uh-huh ♪
1300
01:06:40,592 --> 01:06:41,758
- ♪ Yeah ♪
- ♪ Hey, ho… ♪
1301
01:06:41,842 --> 01:06:46,800
Get them, you idiots!
That's my dog! Porky! Porky!
1302
01:06:52,467 --> 01:06:53,467
Francine!
1303
01:06:55,300 --> 01:06:58,425
Jesus! Why is this going so fast?
A person could get killed in this.
1304
01:06:58,508 --> 01:07:00,717
- Gotta keep up.
- Okay, all right.
1305
01:07:02,342 --> 01:07:03,342
Francine.
1306
01:07:06,008 --> 01:07:10,133
Hi. I… have a plus one.
1307
01:07:10,217 --> 01:07:12,217
So glad you all found the place okay.
1308
01:07:12,300 --> 01:07:14,758
Now, if you'll follow me,
I'll show you to the green room.
1309
01:07:14,883 --> 01:07:17,425
I don't care what color it is
as long as there's a chair in it.
1310
01:07:17,508 --> 01:07:21,883
For sure. And, Anne,
we're gonna get you into hair and makeup.
1311
01:07:25,633 --> 01:07:26,658
Isn't that amazing?
1312
01:07:26,733 --> 01:07:28,143
You know he's never worn
the same one twice.
1313
01:07:28,167 --> 01:07:29,892
What is the lightest element…
1314
01:07:29,916 --> 01:07:31,842
- I want a divorce!
- …On the periodic table?
1315
01:07:33,217 --> 01:07:36,467
What? You've never seen a tie before?
Let's go.
1316
01:07:39,425 --> 01:07:40,633
We're on in ten.
1317
01:07:41,175 --> 01:07:42,383
You're all mic'd up.
1318
01:07:43,008 --> 01:07:44,359
Getting closer, people.
1319
01:07:44,383 --> 01:07:45,425
Getting closer.
1320
01:07:48,175 --> 01:07:51,467
Get away from my makeup.
Just kidding. Hi, I'm Ron. How are you?
1321
01:07:51,550 --> 01:07:53,230
Nice to meet you. I'd shake your hand but…
1322
01:07:53,675 --> 01:07:55,592
Anyway. How was your flight? Great?
1323
01:07:55,675 --> 01:07:58,883
- Great. Listen, I want to apologize.
- Big night, Ron.
1324
01:07:59,092 --> 01:08:00,492
- You got this!
- Why?
1325
01:08:00,592 --> 01:08:04,133
Uh. Well, because... Well,
you're obviously a huge fan of the show,
1326
01:08:04,217 --> 01:08:06,697
and I just think it's a bummer
that you finally get to be here,
1327
01:08:06,758 --> 01:08:08,984
and tonight's gonna be all about me
winning the 84th game,
1328
01:08:09,008 --> 01:08:12,467
becoming the longest running champion.
I'm very sorry. It's very unfair to you.
1329
01:08:15,217 --> 01:08:16,467
Do you wanna be Terry?
1330
01:08:17,008 --> 01:08:20,717
Is that why you're always tryna act nice
'cause you wanna take over the show?
1331
01:08:21,133 --> 01:08:26,300
Whoa, whoa, whoa.
Terry is beloved by the entire world.
1332
01:08:26,383 --> 01:08:28,401
I'd be insane to try to think
I could fill his shoes.
1333
01:08:28,425 --> 01:08:30,467
And I'm not pretending to be nice.
1334
01:08:30,550 --> 01:08:32,300
I really am nice. Ask anybody here.
1335
01:08:32,633 --> 01:08:34,592
- I'm nice.
- Sure thing, Ron.
1336
01:08:34,883 --> 01:08:36,389
Well, anyhow,
I'll let you get to it.
1337
01:08:36,413 --> 01:08:37,901
I know you gotta get
through hair and makeup.
1338
01:08:37,925 --> 01:08:39,151
I already went through hair and makeup.
1339
01:08:39,175 --> 01:08:42,342
Well, then you missed a spot.
And I'll let you change and, uh...
1340
01:08:42,425 --> 01:08:43,967
Hey! Speak of the devil, or the angel.
1341
01:08:44,342 --> 01:08:46,383
Hi, Anne. I'm Terry.
1342
01:08:46,717 --> 01:08:48,008
Welcome to the show.
1343
01:08:48,300 --> 01:08:52,925
Welcome to the show.
1344
01:08:53,050 --> 01:08:55,467
- Your video was very impressive.
- Freakishly great.
1345
01:08:55,550 --> 01:08:57,008
Hi, Ron.
1346
01:08:57,092 --> 01:08:58,633
Two minutes. Places, everyone.
1347
01:08:58,717 --> 01:09:01,217
- Okay, see you on stage.
- Thank you.
1348
01:09:02,133 --> 01:09:04,342
Remember, we're here
to learn and have fun.
1349
01:09:04,425 --> 01:09:05,633
Don't worry about winning.
1350
01:09:07,758 --> 01:09:09,383
I have to win to save my dog.
1351
01:09:12,092 --> 01:09:14,758
I have no idea what that means,
but I'll see you out there!
1352
01:09:17,258 --> 01:09:19,300
Here he is, folks, Terry McTeer.
1353
01:09:34,508 --> 01:09:35,984
We love you, Terry!
1354
01:09:36,008 --> 01:09:38,675
Hello, folks. Ready to learn
and have some fun?
1355
01:09:38,758 --> 01:09:40,842
Come on up.
1356
01:09:41,925 --> 01:09:44,508
Places, everybody. Places.
1357
01:09:51,332 --> 01:09:53,464
- We love you!
- You got this!
1358
01:09:53,488 --> 01:09:54,813
- All right!
- Yes!
1359
01:09:55,508 --> 01:09:56,883
Standby lights to half.
1360
01:10:05,050 --> 01:10:09,175
It's seven o'clock on a weeknight,
you know what that means. It's time for…
1361
01:10:09,258 --> 01:10:11,592
Can't Stop the Quiz!
1362
01:10:13,258 --> 01:10:16,133
Come on, Quiz Lady. Let's do this.
1363
01:10:18,925 --> 01:10:20,758
Godspeed, Miss Yum.
1364
01:10:21,425 --> 01:10:23,984
I swear, they changed the breading
on these mozzarella sticks again.
1365
01:10:24,008 --> 01:10:25,928
- Let's meet tonight's contestants.
- Shit!
1366
01:10:28,550 --> 01:10:31,925
Of course, we all know
our returning champion, Ron Heacock,
1367
01:10:32,008 --> 01:10:33,842
who's going for the record tonight.
1368
01:10:34,258 --> 01:10:35,938
Oh, is that tonight?
1369
01:10:36,175 --> 01:10:37,883
And I see you've stolen my look.
1370
01:10:38,258 --> 01:10:40,467
Well, it's a big night, Terry.
I wanted to honor you.
1371
01:10:40,592 --> 01:10:42,008
- Aw!
- Well, thank you.
1372
01:10:42,133 --> 01:10:44,800
Also, joining us tonight
is someone you might recognize
1373
01:10:44,883 --> 01:10:48,050
from your computers,
the famous Quiz Lady. Welcome, Anne.
1374
01:10:48,217 --> 01:10:49,383
Thanks, Dad.
1375
01:10:50,050 --> 01:10:51,300
- I'm sorry?
- What?
1376
01:10:51,967 --> 01:10:54,342
Welcome.
1377
01:10:54,425 --> 01:10:58,883
And welcome Leah from Guam.
What a journey. Best of luck.
1378
01:10:59,467 --> 01:11:01,133
Let's see tonight's categories.
1379
01:11:01,217 --> 01:11:04,883
Music, books, life science, sports,
1380
01:11:05,008 --> 01:11:06,728
fun and games, mechanics…
1381
01:11:06,800 --> 01:11:09,883
…food and drink, geology, and language.
1382
01:11:13,592 --> 01:11:16,342
May I have five minutes
on the clock, please?
1383
01:11:16,967 --> 01:11:19,467
And your time starts now!
1384
01:11:19,550 --> 01:11:21,050
The Striding Man is the logo
1385
01:11:21,133 --> 01:11:22,568
- of what spirits company?
- Johnnie…
1386
01:11:22,592 --> 01:11:23,967
Ron.
1387
01:11:24,342 --> 01:11:25,800
Johnnie Walker.
1388
01:11:26,217 --> 01:11:28,717
Correct. Who wrote Jane Eyre?
1389
01:11:28,883 --> 01:11:30,050
- Leah.
- Emily Brontë.
1390
01:11:30,133 --> 01:11:31,592
Oh, no.
1391
01:11:31,675 --> 01:11:32,734
Ron?
1392
01:11:32,758 --> 01:11:34,217
Actually, it was Charlotte Brontë.
1393
01:11:34,383 --> 01:11:35,508
The hot one.
1394
01:11:35,633 --> 01:11:36,717
- Correct.
- Oh…
1395
01:11:36,800 --> 01:11:38,342
What does an oologist study?
1396
01:11:38,717 --> 01:11:39,916
Animals.
1397
01:11:40,158 --> 01:11:41,508
Oh, no.
1398
01:11:41,592 --> 01:11:42,842
- Ron?
- Eggs.
1399
01:11:43,008 --> 01:11:44,151
Yes, correct.
1400
01:11:44,175 --> 01:11:46,467
- You said "oologist" on that one?
- I did.
1401
01:11:46,550 --> 01:11:49,092
- Oh, I... ' Cause I heard…
- She's blowing it.
1402
01:11:49,175 --> 01:11:50,967
- Oo… Oologist.
- Mm. Mm-hmm.
1403
01:11:51,342 --> 01:11:53,425
What NBA team holds the record
1404
01:11:53,592 --> 01:11:56,467
- for most wins in a season?
- The Warriors!
1405
01:11:58,383 --> 01:12:00,133
- Ron.
- Golden State Warriors.
1406
01:12:00,217 --> 01:12:01,550
Correct.
1407
01:12:01,633 --> 01:12:03,008
Go Splash Brothers. Hi, Steph.
1408
01:12:03,133 --> 01:12:04,967
- I hope he's watching.
- Oh, he is.
1409
01:12:07,883 --> 01:12:11,175
Ron. Ron. Ron. Ron.
1410
01:12:11,258 --> 01:12:12,717
Ron's on a hot streak!
1411
01:12:12,925 --> 01:12:15,300
Come on. Come on.
1412
01:12:16,092 --> 01:12:19,550
What qualitative scale
is used to rate minerals
1413
01:12:19,633 --> 01:12:22,217
in terms of scratch resistance?
1414
01:12:26,092 --> 01:12:28,008
- Anne.
- Mohs Hardness Scale!
1415
01:12:28,092 --> 01:12:29,508
Correct!
1416
01:12:30,050 --> 01:12:32,633
What is the only mammal that can't…
1417
01:12:34,342 --> 01:12:38,467
Gosh, I guess we'll never know.
That's a shame. I love the animal ones.
1418
01:12:38,883 --> 01:12:41,092
Well, Leah, goodbye.
1419
01:12:41,633 --> 01:12:44,550
When we return,
Ron and Anne will compete head-to-head.
1420
01:12:44,758 --> 01:12:47,175
Don't go anywhere, I know I won't.
1421
01:12:47,925 --> 01:12:50,842
And we're out.
1422
01:12:50,925 --> 01:12:53,342
Resetting.
Let's clear the stage for Head to Head.
1423
01:12:53,425 --> 01:12:54,883
Touch-ups.
1424
01:12:54,967 --> 01:12:58,133
More contour,
I want tight little piano fingers.
1425
01:12:59,175 --> 01:13:02,383
Are you okay? You seem deeply unwell.
1426
01:13:03,842 --> 01:13:05,609
Get off of me.
I need to get in there.
1427
01:13:05,633 --> 01:13:07,339
- It's an emergency.
- Hey, lady. Stop!
1428
01:13:07,363 --> 01:13:09,258
- Oh, no.
- I'll sue you into oblivion.
1429
01:13:09,342 --> 01:13:11,550
'Cause he's a service dog
and he keeps me from fainting.
1430
01:13:13,633 --> 01:13:16,258
- Hey…
- Linguini…
1431
01:13:17,050 --> 01:13:18,300
Linguini…
1432
01:13:19,800 --> 01:13:20,842
Come.
1433
01:13:32,717 --> 01:13:34,092
I missed you so much.
1434
01:13:34,508 --> 01:13:35,508
Oh, my boy.
1435
01:13:35,592 --> 01:13:40,842
Oh. Is that... Oh, he smells good.
And he seems like he's been eating.
1436
01:13:40,967 --> 01:13:43,842
And I can't…
I can't believe you… you… you… you…
1437
01:13:43,925 --> 01:13:45,151
…you got him back.
1438
01:13:45,175 --> 01:13:47,855
And it's so good that you did
because there's no chance I'm winning.
1439
01:13:47,967 --> 01:13:49,859
Quick, create a distraction,
let's do the fries thing.
1440
01:13:49,883 --> 01:13:50,963
- No, no, no.
- Just let me…
1441
01:13:51,008 --> 01:13:52,717
I'm not letting you run away from this.
1442
01:13:52,883 --> 01:13:54,842
You can do this. You know why?
1443
01:13:56,467 --> 01:13:59,133
- Because I'm strong.
- Because you know this game,
1444
01:13:59,383 --> 01:14:01,068
just like you know
literally everything else.
1445
01:14:01,092 --> 01:14:05,300
So, play the same way you always have.
Like a winner.
1446
01:14:06,217 --> 01:14:07,800
Thirty seconds, everybody.
1447
01:14:14,050 --> 01:14:16,675
Oh, you smell so good.
You're so cute. You're such a big boy.
1448
01:14:18,008 --> 01:14:20,758
You can't have a dog up here. Right?
1449
01:14:21,717 --> 01:14:22,717
Well, uh…
1450
01:14:23,967 --> 01:14:28,425
You know what? I want him with me
and I don't care if that's weird.
1451
01:14:29,050 --> 01:14:31,508
I... Is it… is it okay that he's with me?
1452
01:14:31,592 --> 01:14:34,467
- Places, everybody.
- Oh, is it okay... Gosh, I don't know.
1453
01:14:34,550 --> 01:14:36,300
No one's ever asked that before.
1454
01:14:36,383 --> 01:14:38,175
Uh. Let me ask. Uh. Uh.
1455
01:14:38,300 --> 01:14:41,092
- Glenn, can she have…
- No! We're live in 15.
1456
01:14:41,175 --> 01:14:42,467
Glenn says "no."
1457
01:14:43,508 --> 01:14:45,318
Bye-bye. Bye-bye, doggy.
1458
01:14:45,342 --> 01:14:48,342
Um. Hey, everybody!
1459
01:14:48,425 --> 01:14:52,342
The Quiz Lady should have
her famous Quiz Dog with her, right?
1460
01:14:52,717 --> 01:14:56,342
Quiz Dog! Quiz Dog!
Quiz Dog! Quiz Dog! Quiz Dog!
1461
01:14:56,425 --> 01:14:58,151
- Yeah! Yeah!
- Quiz Dog! Quiz Dog!
1462
01:14:58,175 --> 01:14:59,818
- Quiz Dog! Quiz Dog!
- Quiz Dog! Quiz Dog!
1463
01:14:59,842 --> 01:15:02,193
- Quiz Dog! Quiz Dog! Quiz Dog!
- Quiz Dog! Quiz Dog! Quiz Dog!
1464
01:15:02,217 --> 01:15:03,401
Fine, the dog can stay!
1465
01:15:03,425 --> 01:15:06,550
Chanting always works.
1466
01:15:06,675 --> 01:15:09,092
That was thrilling.
It's like we were in a musical.
1467
01:15:09,300 --> 01:15:10,717
And we're live!
1468
01:15:11,800 --> 01:15:14,758
- I got Linguini.
- No kidding.
1469
01:15:14,925 --> 01:15:16,092
Welcome back.
1470
01:15:16,217 --> 01:15:19,175
For the Head to Head,
we have a special guest joining us.
1471
01:15:19,342 --> 01:15:22,342
Mr. Linguini. Hello, sir.
1472
01:15:22,800 --> 01:15:25,550
- And thank you for your service.
- Aw!
1473
01:15:25,633 --> 01:15:28,300
You know, pugs are the official dog
of the House of Orange,
1474
01:15:28,383 --> 01:15:32,425
- in the Netherlands. And in 1572 of...
- Ron, I… I'm sorry. Can't stop the quiz.
1475
01:15:32,508 --> 01:15:34,800
- Can't.
- Please select Anne's first category.
1476
01:15:34,883 --> 01:15:37,842
Hmm. How about sports?
1477
01:15:37,967 --> 01:15:39,151
Sports it is.
1478
01:15:39,175 --> 01:15:41,717
Anne, please list for us NFL teams
1479
01:15:41,800 --> 01:15:44,925
- with more than one Super Bowl win.
- Shit.
1480
01:15:45,717 --> 01:15:49,383
Your time starts now.
1481
01:15:50,967 --> 01:15:54,883
Steelers, Patriots, 49ers, Cowboys…
1482
01:15:54,967 --> 01:15:58,217
…Giants, Packers,
1483
01:15:58,383 --> 01:16:00,550
Broncos, Raiders, Chiefs…
1484
01:16:00,633 --> 01:16:02,008
…Colts, Ravens,
1485
01:16:02,092 --> 01:16:04,008
Dolphins, Rams, Washington…
1486
01:16:04,175 --> 01:16:06,800
…Buccaneers.
1487
01:16:06,883 --> 01:16:08,883
It's a comeback jawn!
1488
01:16:11,425 --> 01:16:14,175
All right. Ron, now to you.
1489
01:16:14,342 --> 01:16:17,883
Please list for us
the geological eras of Earth.
1490
01:16:17,967 --> 01:16:22,383
My pleasure. Cenozoic, Mesozoic…
1491
01:16:22,467 --> 01:16:24,526
- …Paleozoic, Mesoproterozoic…
- What does... Who cares?
1492
01:16:24,550 --> 01:16:27,300
…uh, Neoarchean, Mesoarchean…
1493
01:16:27,383 --> 01:16:28,943
…Alan-archean. Just kidding.
1494
01:16:28,967 --> 01:16:31,967
One syllable words with no rhymes. Wow.
1495
01:16:32,425 --> 01:16:35,592
Whilst, angst, cusp, breadth…
1496
01:16:35,758 --> 01:16:38,092
- …ninth, glimpsed, sculpts…
- Good.
1497
01:16:38,175 --> 01:16:39,925
- …Goonch, twelfth.
- "Goonch." Oh…
1498
01:16:41,425 --> 01:16:44,342
God, I wish I had a service dog up here.
Hey, how about it, everybody?
1499
01:16:44,633 --> 01:16:48,383
"Ron's dog! Ron's dog!"
1500
01:16:48,508 --> 01:16:51,883
Playable characters in Mario Kart 64.
This is fun.
1501
01:16:51,967 --> 01:16:55,217
Mario, Luigi…
1502
01:16:55,300 --> 01:16:57,675
…Princess Peach, for the women…
1503
01:16:57,758 --> 01:17:00,217
…Donkey Kong, and uh, Koopa Troopa.
1504
01:17:00,342 --> 01:17:03,550
- Bowser, moron.
- You suck, Ron!
1505
01:17:03,633 --> 01:17:05,425
Cruciferous vegetables.
1506
01:17:05,508 --> 01:17:08,467
Broccoli, cauliflower, horseradish, kale…
1507
01:17:08,883 --> 01:17:10,883
…cabbage, kohlrabi, bok choy.
1508
01:17:11,050 --> 01:17:13,383
Beethoven, Mozart…
1509
01:17:13,550 --> 01:17:15,175
…Salieri, Strauss.
1510
01:17:15,300 --> 01:17:17,675
Right. He's Romantic era,
1511
01:17:17,800 --> 01:17:20,342
which one could argue
still is classical music.
1512
01:17:20,467 --> 01:17:22,550
Anyhow, now, may I, uh…
1513
01:17:23,675 --> 01:17:25,109
Come here. Oh…
1514
01:17:25,133 --> 01:17:27,008
- Okay.
- Hmm.
1515
01:17:27,092 --> 01:17:28,359
Hide and seek. Haydn!
1516
01:17:28,383 --> 01:17:29,901
It works!
1517
01:17:29,925 --> 01:17:34,425
- Such a jerk.
- And for the bonus round, simple machines.
1518
01:17:34,592 --> 01:17:37,050
Lever, pulley, wedge, screw…
1519
01:17:37,133 --> 01:17:38,633
…wheel and axle, inclined plane.
1520
01:17:38,717 --> 01:17:42,550
And that's all of them!
You finished with 24 seconds remaining,
1521
01:17:42,717 --> 01:17:44,217
which means you get a bonus
1522
01:17:44,342 --> 01:17:47,883
of 12,000 dollars.
I believe that's a new record.
1523
01:17:48,383 --> 01:17:50,068
- Is that right?
- Can we check on that?
1524
01:17:50,092 --> 01:17:52,050
- Yeah.
- Checking. What is that?
1525
01:17:52,175 --> 01:17:53,467
I don't... It is? It is!
1526
01:17:53,582 --> 01:17:55,234
That is the highest bonus
1527
01:17:55,258 --> 01:17:56,550
in the history of the show.
1528
01:17:56,633 --> 01:17:58,234
- Way to go, Annie!
- Congratulations, Anne!
1529
01:17:58,258 --> 01:18:00,758
Whoo!
1530
01:18:00,883 --> 01:18:02,175
- Oh, huzzah!
- Thank you.
1531
01:18:02,842 --> 01:18:03,967
What a comeback.
1532
01:18:04,092 --> 01:18:06,050
This is just like
the classic sports film,
1533
01:18:06,133 --> 01:18:09,383
Mighty Ducks 2. "Ducks fly together."
1534
01:18:09,467 --> 01:18:11,147
What a wonderful message.
Have you seen it?
1535
01:18:11,425 --> 01:18:12,967
- I've seen it multiple times.
- Oh…
1536
01:18:13,050 --> 01:18:15,967
Yes, it's in my top ten.
It might be my top two.
1537
01:18:16,467 --> 01:18:17,592
I think it's my number one.
1538
01:18:17,758 --> 01:18:19,342
Will the comeback continue,
1539
01:18:19,467 --> 01:18:23,008
or will another record be broken tonight
by Ron winning his 84th game?
1540
01:18:23,092 --> 01:18:25,342
It all depends on the final round.
1541
01:18:25,508 --> 01:18:27,249
Time for the flip.
1542
01:18:27,338 --> 01:18:28,568
Ron, you have the honors.
1543
01:18:32,883 --> 01:18:34,508
Whoo! Flip it!
1544
01:18:34,633 --> 01:18:38,467
Ten, nine, eight, seven,
1545
01:18:38,633 --> 01:18:43,925
six, five, four, three, two, one!
1546
01:18:47,550 --> 01:18:49,133
- Show it!
- Oh…
1547
01:18:49,217 --> 01:18:51,633
Charades.
1548
01:18:51,717 --> 01:18:56,092
When we return,
Anne and Ron will compete in "Show It."
1549
01:18:56,175 --> 01:18:58,092
And we're out.
1550
01:18:58,800 --> 01:19:02,467
"Show It" is where Heacock
becomes a peacock.
1551
01:19:04,258 --> 01:19:05,300
Bart.
1552
01:19:05,425 --> 01:19:08,008
- Hmm.
- How are you, buddy?
1553
01:19:08,133 --> 01:19:09,883
- All right, let's get in sync here.
- Okay.
1554
01:19:22,092 --> 01:19:27,592
- Oh, no.
- Oh, no. I'm sorry, I didn't mean to…
1555
01:19:27,758 --> 01:19:31,383
No, I'm fine.
It just got down the wrong pipe.
1556
01:19:31,467 --> 01:19:32,967
Uh-huh.
1557
01:19:33,175 --> 01:19:34,901
- I always thought you ate crackers…
- No.
1558
01:19:34,925 --> 01:19:37,550
- …between the commercials.
- You caught me.
1559
01:19:38,592 --> 01:19:40,800
My wife, Cecilia,
worries about my sugar intake,
1560
01:19:40,925 --> 01:19:43,258
so, I just… I just say they're crackers.
1561
01:19:43,467 --> 01:19:46,550
What are you hiding from, huh?
1562
01:19:49,925 --> 01:19:51,508
I don't know what I'm doing.
1563
01:19:52,800 --> 01:19:53,883
All those…
1564
01:19:55,133 --> 01:19:56,758
…people watching and…
1565
01:19:57,675 --> 01:19:58,842
I'm gonna lose.
1566
01:20:05,758 --> 01:20:08,508
You know…
1567
01:20:08,592 --> 01:20:10,758
…whenever I look
at this bow tie right here,
1568
01:20:10,883 --> 01:20:15,050
it makes me think of one contestant
from that night, Oscar from Texas.
1569
01:20:16,092 --> 01:20:20,550
We had a wonderful conversation
about how he makes his own jams.
1570
01:20:20,633 --> 01:20:23,883
He tries these wild combinations,
like blueberry rhubarb.
1571
01:20:25,008 --> 01:20:29,675
What?
And he's like an artist, but with jams.
1572
01:20:30,008 --> 01:20:33,967
Oh! This was the night
that Aparna from New Jersey
1573
01:20:34,050 --> 01:20:36,967
played her mandolin for us
during the commercial break.
1574
01:20:39,592 --> 01:20:45,842
And that night, Mike from Maine
brought me a snowball in a cooler
1575
01:20:45,925 --> 01:20:50,217
‘cause he… he remembered that I had said
I… I missed New England winters.
1576
01:20:51,008 --> 01:20:54,800
Great guy.
None of them actually won their games.
1577
01:20:54,967 --> 01:20:57,807
You know, like most contestants,
they were just here for one night, but…
1578
01:20:58,300 --> 01:21:00,008
I don't think of them as failures.
1579
01:21:01,842 --> 01:21:03,602
I'm just glad
I got a chance to talk to them,
1580
01:21:03,675 --> 01:21:05,633
and they… they got a chance to play.
1581
01:21:07,967 --> 01:21:11,092
Don't ruin what might be
your only night here
1582
01:21:11,175 --> 01:21:12,967
by making it about winning or losing.
1583
01:21:15,800 --> 01:21:17,925
Just try to think
of what you wanna remember.
1584
01:21:18,800 --> 01:21:19,883
As for me…
1585
01:21:20,800 --> 01:21:21,925
no matter who wins…
1586
01:21:23,133 --> 01:21:28,467
this one will always remind me
of Anne from Pennsylvania
1587
01:21:28,675 --> 01:21:29,883
who brought her dog.
1588
01:21:31,050 --> 01:21:34,425
- There you are. We need you on stage.
- Yeah, right away, Glenn.
1589
01:21:34,508 --> 01:21:35,828
Thank you so much.
1590
01:21:36,592 --> 01:21:38,859
It's Glenn's world
and we're all just living in it, you know?
1591
01:21:38,883 --> 01:21:41,133
All right. Ready?
1592
01:21:52,800 --> 01:21:55,883
And legally, you have to allow
service animals, but also,
1593
01:21:56,008 --> 01:21:58,039
it's the right thing to do, you know?
1594
01:21:58,063 --> 01:22:00,222
And you know what? Not only for Anne,
but for society, as well.
1595
01:22:00,246 --> 01:22:02,609
Sure, it's just that
it's clearly a fake vest, so…
1596
01:22:02,633 --> 01:22:04,693
I know, but what side of history
do you wanna be on?
1597
01:22:04,717 --> 01:22:06,234
Okay,
you can't pull that with me.
1598
01:22:06,258 --> 01:22:09,175
You know what? I think it's probably
gonna be really great for ratings.
1599
01:22:09,258 --> 01:22:11,018
- You know what?
- I wanna change my partner.
1600
01:22:11,383 --> 01:22:12,717
- What?
- What?
1601
01:22:13,050 --> 01:22:14,425
I wanna play with my sister.
1602
01:22:15,342 --> 01:22:17,050
- Jenny.
- You can't do that.
1603
01:22:17,300 --> 01:22:19,717
- Glenn, it's her game. I think she can.
- What? Uh.
1604
01:22:19,967 --> 01:22:22,133
You want me to guess?
But I don't know anything.
1605
01:22:23,300 --> 01:22:24,300
You know me.
1606
01:22:24,383 --> 01:22:27,925
And… and win or lose,
we'll… we'll… we'll do it together.
1607
01:22:28,467 --> 01:22:32,258
- All right. Switch them.
- I came all this way.
1608
01:22:32,342 --> 01:22:34,883
- I know, Fran. I'm so sorry about that.
- Ma'am, this way.
1609
01:22:34,967 --> 01:22:36,967
Um. If I could get you
and Mr. Linguini to a seat?
1610
01:22:37,070 --> 01:22:38,740
- Sorry, Francine.
- Now, I have to watch
1611
01:22:38,764 --> 01:22:39,625
the rest of this shit.
1612
01:22:39,717 --> 01:22:41,293
She can't do that.
You can't switch partners.
1613
01:22:41,317 --> 01:22:42,371
This is so unfair.
1614
01:22:42,471 --> 01:22:44,666
What are you gonna do next?
Give her all the answers?
1615
01:22:44,883 --> 01:22:46,217
Welcome back.
1616
01:22:46,383 --> 01:22:47,842
I hope you enjoyed your break.
1617
01:22:48,050 --> 01:22:51,092
Joining us for the final round
is Ron's friend, Bart,
1618
01:22:51,675 --> 01:22:54,071
and Anne's sister...
I'm sorry, I never got your name.
1619
01:22:54,221 --> 01:22:55,300
Oh, Jenny.
1620
01:22:55,416 --> 01:22:57,467
- Hi, Jenny, I'm Terry.
- Oh, hello, Satan.
1621
01:22:57,592 --> 01:23:00,758
Ron and Bart are up first,
so we'll ask Anne and Jenny
1622
01:23:00,842 --> 01:23:02,633
to step on the "Show It" coin.
1623
01:23:03,467 --> 01:23:06,217
Gentlemen, take your places.
Best of luck.
1624
01:23:06,467 --> 01:23:07,675
I'm ready, Terry.
1625
01:23:08,175 --> 01:23:12,092
And your time starts now.
1626
01:23:12,258 --> 01:23:16,342
Book. Magazine. Mag.
1627
01:23:18,967 --> 01:23:22,675
- Shopping. Cart. Mag.
- He's good.
1628
01:23:22,758 --> 01:23:24,342
Cart. Magna Carta. Hmm.
1629
01:23:24,425 --> 01:23:26,651
What's the Magna Carta?
1630
01:23:26,675 --> 01:23:29,133
Sky. Space.
1631
01:23:30,175 --> 01:23:31,342
Dog.
1632
01:23:31,508 --> 01:23:33,508
Shut up!
1633
01:23:33,592 --> 01:23:34,717
Stay.
1634
01:23:35,883 --> 01:23:37,133
Shun.
1635
01:23:37,217 --> 01:23:38,717
Space. Stay.
1636
01:23:40,008 --> 01:23:42,008
Shun. International Space Station.
1637
01:23:42,092 --> 01:23:44,412
How… how's that possible?
1638
01:23:44,800 --> 01:23:46,800
- Africa.
- "Africa"?
1639
01:23:47,217 --> 01:23:48,550
Morocco.
1640
01:23:50,300 --> 01:23:51,734
- Kombucha!
- Apple cider vinegar.
1641
01:23:51,758 --> 01:23:53,050
Oh.
1642
01:23:54,300 --> 01:23:57,175
Woman. Thatch. Margaret Thatcher.
1643
01:23:57,258 --> 01:23:59,217
Hmm.
1644
01:23:59,342 --> 01:24:00,842
And that's your time.
1645
01:24:00,925 --> 01:24:04,508
Ron, you got seven correct,
which brings your total
1646
01:24:04,883 --> 01:24:07,550
to a whopping 61,000.
1647
01:24:07,633 --> 01:24:09,592
- Whoo! Heck yeah, bro. Whoo!
- Hmm.
1648
01:24:09,925 --> 01:24:11,758
But one thing stands
between you and victory.
1649
01:24:11,842 --> 01:24:14,592
Well, actually two, Anne and Jenny.
1650
01:24:14,675 --> 01:24:16,443
- Oh, boy.
- Come on up. Let's switch places.
1651
01:24:16,467 --> 01:24:18,633
Beat that.
1652
01:24:18,707 --> 01:24:20,624
Oh, my God, are you okay?
1653
01:24:20,729 --> 01:24:22,092
- What? What?
- Hmm.
1654
01:24:22,217 --> 01:24:23,967
Anne? Jenny?
1655
01:24:24,133 --> 01:24:26,800
- Yeah?
- You need at least nine in order to win.
1656
01:24:26,967 --> 01:24:29,883
- Okay.
- And your time starts now.
1657
01:24:33,967 --> 01:24:38,133
Okay, okay, okay, thinking, thinking.
1658
01:24:38,217 --> 01:24:41,133
Um. Um. A gathering. Uh.
You have a... You… you… you have some...
1659
01:24:41,217 --> 01:24:43,925
Uh. A… an ear… ear…
ear… earache, earring, earring.
1660
01:24:44,008 --> 01:24:46,883
A gun in my ear? Earring gun.
"I can't hear," you're deaf.
1661
01:24:46,967 --> 01:24:50,175
Uh. Okay, not... No. Don't... Not that.
Um. A flying… a flying duck.
1662
01:24:50,300 --> 01:24:52,383
A duck… a duck. Uh.
Something is moving. What?
1663
01:24:52,883 --> 01:24:55,842
What? Do… do something else.
You're in jail, you can't get out.
1664
01:24:55,925 --> 01:24:57,154
You're The Hamburglar.
1665
01:24:57,508 --> 01:24:58,901
This is pathetic.
1666
01:24:58,925 --> 01:25:00,633
Do something else!
1667
01:25:00,842 --> 01:25:02,008
Just do something else!
1668
01:25:04,133 --> 01:25:06,133
Uh. It's a…
1669
01:25:07,258 --> 01:25:09,050
Uncle Dong?
1670
01:25:09,133 --> 01:25:11,967
Okay, Uncle Dong, Uncle Dong.
Uncle... Stock market.
1671
01:25:13,133 --> 01:25:17,175
Um.
Okay. Um. Me? Me? Praying.
1672
01:25:17,258 --> 01:25:20,008
I'm praying, I'm praying. Uh-huh. Okay.
1673
01:25:20,300 --> 01:25:22,175
- And Kristi Yamaguchi!
- Yes.
1674
01:25:22,258 --> 01:25:23,258
Yes.
1675
01:25:24,717 --> 01:25:28,092
Looking at a house.
Okay, me, me, me, me.
1676
01:25:29,133 --> 01:25:30,526
Ketchup!
1677
01:25:30,550 --> 01:25:32,008
What?
1678
01:25:32,092 --> 01:25:36,050
Uh. Gross, gross.
You, me, gross. Oh! The Beatles.
1679
01:25:36,133 --> 01:25:40,008
Yeah. Okay, uh, you, uh, banana.
1680
01:25:41,217 --> 01:25:43,758
Glue stick! Glue stick!
1681
01:25:43,967 --> 01:25:46,633
Oh, yeah, that's… that's me!
That's cheesecake!
1682
01:25:47,342 --> 01:25:48,383
I like it too.
1683
01:25:48,508 --> 01:25:50,800
Uh. The… the sad dog
from, uh, Homeward Bound.
1684
01:25:51,175 --> 01:25:52,484
Shadow. Yes! Yes!
1685
01:25:54,467 --> 01:25:55,734
Taking out the trash!
1686
01:25:57,342 --> 01:25:59,092
- Yes!
- That… that was good.
1687
01:25:59,175 --> 01:26:00,592
Very good.
1688
01:26:00,675 --> 01:26:02,235
Come on, Quiz Lady!
1689
01:26:03,258 --> 01:26:04,258
One more.
1690
01:26:04,383 --> 01:26:05,425
Okay.
1691
01:26:05,550 --> 01:26:09,675
You are just, uh, so flinging.
Oh, you're gonna be strong.
1692
01:26:09,758 --> 01:26:13,758
You are... Muscle. Muscle. Muscle.
You're like muscle… muscle lady.
1693
01:26:13,842 --> 01:26:18,175
Muscle. What? Oh, oh, oh, oh!
Muscle. A bra... A breastplate. Breast. Uh.
1694
01:26:18,258 --> 01:26:22,550
Uh. You're like a tiger woman.
Oh! You… you're swimming. What is this?
1695
01:26:22,633 --> 01:26:25,550
Uh. Oh! Oh, yes. Uh. Okay, okay.
I'm sweating, I'm sweating.
1696
01:26:25,925 --> 01:26:29,342
Okay. Okay. You, you, you.
1697
01:26:30,633 --> 01:26:33,758
You are… …digging a hole.
1698
01:26:33,842 --> 01:26:36,717
Digging a hole,
digging a hole, digging a hole.
1699
01:26:36,925 --> 01:26:37,925
And you…
1700
01:26:40,050 --> 01:26:41,050
shit in a hole?
1701
01:26:41,217 --> 01:26:43,092
Uh. Sh… shoot in a hole?
1702
01:26:43,300 --> 01:26:48,925
Shoot in a hole? Shoot in a hole.
Okay. Me. Me and, uh, you.
1703
01:26:49,008 --> 01:26:50,717
You, me.
1704
01:26:52,383 --> 01:26:53,925
You. You.
1705
01:26:55,383 --> 01:26:56,383
Me.
1706
01:26:59,050 --> 01:27:00,592
Hero?
1707
01:27:08,175 --> 01:27:09,693
And time's up.
1708
01:27:09,717 --> 01:27:12,383
We have a new champion.
1709
01:27:12,883 --> 01:27:14,300
Whoo!
1710
01:27:14,425 --> 01:27:15,758
Quiz Lady is my best friend.
1711
01:27:15,842 --> 01:27:19,842
- My God!
- No! No! No!
1712
01:27:20,425 --> 01:27:22,776
I'm very sorry, Terry.
I'm very sorry to do this, everybody.
1713
01:27:22,800 --> 01:27:24,300
- She cheated.
- What?
1714
01:27:24,383 --> 01:27:26,967
You brought in a dog,
you changed partners at the last second.
1715
01:27:27,050 --> 01:27:29,258
They use some kind
of ancient Chinese mind meld.
1716
01:27:29,342 --> 01:27:32,217
- Actual racism.
- Just be honest with me, Terry.
1717
01:27:32,508 --> 01:27:33,508
You're threatened by me.
1718
01:27:33,592 --> 01:27:35,633
You wanted me to lose?
He wanted me to lose.
1719
01:27:35,758 --> 01:27:37,068
Just lose with honor.
1720
01:27:37,092 --> 01:27:42,217
I can't… I can't… I can't. I am exciting.
I'm fresh. I'm popping. I'm young.
1721
01:27:42,300 --> 01:27:46,550
And you're just a boring old man.
1722
01:27:46,633 --> 01:27:47,901
Acting like you invented…
1723
01:27:47,925 --> 01:27:49,675
…the bow tie.
1724
01:27:49,749 --> 01:27:50,829
I'll keep going.
1725
01:27:50,929 --> 01:27:52,809
Mm-mm. Mm-mm.
1726
01:27:52,921 --> 01:27:54,693
- Yeah, I will say...
- I think you should stop.
1727
01:27:54,717 --> 01:27:57,217
In fact, I think you should buzz off, Ron.
1728
01:28:00,717 --> 01:28:02,967
- Ooh!
- Would a boring old man say that?
1729
01:28:03,800 --> 01:28:06,758
Congratulations, Anne,
you're our new Quiz Champion!
1730
01:28:14,800 --> 01:28:15,842
I'm sorry, Terry.
1731
01:28:18,592 --> 01:28:19,925
No. I… I... Yeah.
1732
01:28:21,717 --> 01:28:23,217
Anne! Anne! Anne!
1733
01:28:23,332 --> 01:28:24,943
- Anne! Anne! Anne!
- Join us tomorrow
1734
01:28:24,967 --> 01:28:27,842
for another night of fast facts
and live learning.
1735
01:28:27,925 --> 01:28:30,925
I'm Terry McTeer, and I'll be right... Oh!
1736
01:28:31,092 --> 01:28:32,967
I'll be right here.
1737
01:28:33,342 --> 01:28:34,467
Have a good night.
1738
01:28:35,300 --> 01:28:38,967
You did it!
1739
01:28:39,175 --> 01:28:40,383
- We did it.
- Win! Win!
1740
01:28:40,467 --> 01:28:42,425
You bring me all this way…
1741
01:28:42,508 --> 01:28:45,508
…on the promise that I might get
a chance to play charades…
1742
01:28:45,592 --> 01:28:48,717
…and it was all just a… charade.
1743
01:28:48,800 --> 01:28:51,342
Hey, if you're gonna be this miserable,
can you just, like, die?
1744
01:28:51,425 --> 01:28:53,068
- Don't.
- 'Cause you're ruining her moment.
1745
01:28:53,092 --> 01:28:58,758
Oh, moment. Look at the two of you,
running around, searching for happiness.
1746
01:28:58,842 --> 01:29:00,342
It's just deranged.
1747
01:29:00,425 --> 01:29:03,675
Just accept the fact that nothing
will make life better.
1748
01:29:03,842 --> 01:29:06,883
Life is, and always has been a… a…
1749
01:29:07,550 --> 01:29:09,842
…a miracle.
1750
01:29:24,675 --> 01:29:27,925
It's… it's… it's… it's, uh, it… it's…
1751
01:29:28,008 --> 01:29:29,633
- Who?
- So sorry to bother you.
1752
01:29:29,717 --> 01:29:31,967
She's a huge fan of yours.
1753
01:29:32,092 --> 01:29:34,550
Uh. Maybe you can give her
a ride in your golf cart.
1754
01:29:38,342 --> 01:29:41,800
- Uh.
- Sh… she's gonna die soon.
1755
01:29:42,050 --> 01:29:44,050
- And she has this horrible disease…
- It's…
1756
01:29:44,175 --> 01:29:47,425
…where her intestines grow
like an invasive weed. It's everywhere.
1757
01:29:47,592 --> 01:29:49,342
- They kinda...
- Yeah, yeah, fine. Hop in.
1758
01:29:49,467 --> 01:29:50,526
She also thinks
1759
01:29:50,550 --> 01:29:53,190
you're the Scottish actor, Alan Cumming.
Just play along with that.
1760
01:29:54,008 --> 01:29:55,842
You're excellent
in The Good Wife.
1761
01:29:56,883 --> 01:29:58,592
You're so, so excellent.
1762
01:30:00,050 --> 01:30:03,717
- Ooh! What a bonnie lass.
- Oh, my God!
1763
01:30:04,883 --> 01:30:06,443
- Who was that?
- Play that bagpipe!
1764
01:30:06,467 --> 01:30:10,800
- Not Alan Cumming.
- Oh, me pot o' gold. Lucky Charms!
1765
01:30:10,883 --> 01:30:14,967
That was a bloody good pudding.
Glengarry…
1766
01:30:18,883 --> 01:30:23,883
Oh! Look at it.
Oh! It's so beautiful.
1767
01:30:27,967 --> 01:30:29,592
Where's Burbank from here?
1768
01:30:30,092 --> 01:30:32,842
I think it's over there by the mountains.
1769
01:30:33,425 --> 01:30:34,467
Wow!
1770
01:30:35,133 --> 01:30:37,342
I always thought my destiny was out there.
1771
01:30:37,925 --> 01:30:39,092
Maybe it is.
1772
01:30:40,342 --> 01:30:41,342
Nah.
1773
01:30:42,842 --> 01:30:43,842
It's just Burbank.
1774
01:30:47,800 --> 01:30:49,967
I'm sorry, I left you to deal with Mom.
1775
01:30:52,925 --> 01:30:56,217
I'm sorry, I ruined our chance of living
with the cool cousins.
1776
01:30:56,300 --> 01:30:58,258
- That was not your fault.
- It was.
1777
01:30:58,342 --> 01:31:00,742
I mean, they always thought
we were the losers of the family.
1778
01:31:01,008 --> 01:31:02,050
We kind of were.
1779
01:31:04,383 --> 01:31:05,508
Not today.
1780
01:31:07,175 --> 01:31:10,842
You're right. Not today.
1781
01:31:10,925 --> 01:31:12,342
- Not today!
- Not today!
1782
01:31:12,467 --> 01:31:13,967
- Motherfuckers!
- Oh, okay.
1783
01:31:21,175 --> 01:31:24,925
- I love you. Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa!
- Look, geese, geese!
1784
01:31:26,717 --> 01:31:28,217
I'm sorry, what were you saying?
1785
01:31:29,925 --> 01:31:31,050
I love you, Jenny.
1786
01:31:36,175 --> 01:31:37,550
I love you, Annie.
1787
01:31:40,175 --> 01:31:41,217
Thank you.
1788
01:31:41,425 --> 01:31:43,842
- Did you just say, "Thank you"?
- What? Yeah. Why?
1789
01:31:44,008 --> 01:31:46,633
Come here. Come here,
I'm touching you now.
1790
01:31:46,758 --> 01:31:48,425
- No!
- You can't help it.
1791
01:31:51,133 --> 01:31:52,508
I'm so proud of you.
1792
01:31:56,383 --> 01:31:57,383
Okay.
1793
01:31:58,675 --> 01:32:02,133
You know, I, uh, I'm gonna have
to stay in California for a while.
1794
01:32:02,592 --> 01:32:04,717
Oh! Look at the glow up.
1795
01:32:05,508 --> 01:32:07,842
Would you wanna stay with me?
1796
01:32:08,717 --> 01:32:11,383
Just ‘cause I feel like
we make a pretty good team.
1797
01:32:12,425 --> 01:32:14,550
Uh. Yeah! We do!
1798
01:32:15,175 --> 01:32:18,425
Oh. I can finally,
like, coordinate our outfits.
1799
01:32:18,508 --> 01:32:21,008
I have the most amazing sleeveless blazer,
it's chartreuse.
1800
01:32:21,133 --> 01:32:22,842
- No.
- It would be very slimming.
1801
01:32:22,925 --> 01:32:24,859
- I don't like sleeveless.
- All you have to do
1802
01:32:24,883 --> 01:32:26,526
- is some pushups.
- What do you mean?
1803
01:32:26,550 --> 01:32:28,234
You should work
on your arms a little bit.
1804
01:32:28,258 --> 01:32:30,276
Are you trying to say
that I'm out of shape or something?
1805
01:32:30,300 --> 01:32:31,300
Yeah.
1806
01:32:45,717 --> 01:32:47,425
I can't look at... Leave it. No, no.
1807
01:32:47,508 --> 01:32:50,425
Let me have it, you go away,
and let me look at it by myself.
1808
01:32:51,008 --> 01:32:52,217
Oh, my God, look at that.
1809
01:32:52,925 --> 01:32:54,883
♪ Lean on each other ♪
1810
01:32:56,342 --> 01:32:59,425
♪ When we need some extra strength ♪
1811
01:32:59,633 --> 01:33:03,175
♪ We'll never cave or we'll never waver ♪
1812
01:33:05,758 --> 01:33:09,008
♪ And we'll always
become braver and braver ♪
1813
01:33:09,092 --> 01:33:10,715
Whoo!
1814
01:33:12,300 --> 01:33:15,717
♪ We'll dance like nobody's there
we'll dance without any cares ♪
1815
01:33:15,883 --> 01:33:18,383
♪ We'll talk 'bout problems we share ♪
1816
01:33:19,050 --> 01:33:22,758
- Thanks so much. Well done.
- ♪ We'll sing to people and show ♪
1817
01:33:22,883 --> 01:33:23,883
♪ What it means ♪
1818
01:33:23,967 --> 01:33:25,967
♪ To be young and growing up ♪
1819
01:33:34,092 --> 01:33:35,758
Make way. Make way.
1820
01:33:36,091 --> 01:33:39,054
Ooh! Hot, hot, hot! Ooh!
1821
01:33:39,142 --> 01:33:40,142
Yeah.
1822
01:33:40,271 --> 01:33:43,717
We should've done this family style.
1823
01:33:44,383 --> 01:33:48,717
Good eve.
Welcome to the Ben Franklin Inn and Spa.
1824
01:33:48,800 --> 01:33:50,593
Oh!
1825
01:33:51,008 --> 01:33:54,050
What is that sound? Is it a chirping bird?
1826
01:33:57,008 --> 01:33:58,800
Ben Franklin Inn and Spa.
1827
01:34:00,883 --> 01:34:05,258
- Hmm.
- ♪ I make as many good memories as I can ♪
1828
01:34:07,217 --> 01:34:10,258
♪ When there are nights I can't sleep
it's okay in the end ♪
1829
01:34:10,383 --> 01:34:14,300
I'm sorry,
that was horrible phrasing.
1830
01:34:14,383 --> 01:34:18,925
♪ I know what I do now makes me, me ♪
1831
01:34:19,305 --> 01:34:25,342
♪ Wherever we go, wherever we go, we ♪
1832
01:34:26,758 --> 01:34:30,050
♪ We'll dance like nobody's there
we'll dance without any cares ♪
1833
01:34:30,175 --> 01:34:33,255
♪ We'll talk 'bout problems we share
we'll talk 'bout things that ain't fair ♪
1834
01:34:33,425 --> 01:34:36,800
♪ We'll sing 'bout things we don't know
we'll sing to people and show ♪
1835
01:34:36,883 --> 01:34:40,133
♪ What it means
to be young and growing up ♪
1836
01:34:40,217 --> 01:34:43,342
♪ We'll take the good with the bad
all of the times that we'll have ♪
1837
01:34:43,425 --> 01:34:46,675
♪ Make every moment last
we'll have each other's backs ♪
1838
01:34:46,758 --> 01:34:49,925
♪ 'Cause in the end we don't know
we don't know where we will go ♪
1839
01:34:50,008 --> 01:34:53,258
♪ We don't know
so there's still a little more ♪
1840
01:34:53,342 --> 01:34:54,633
♪ Growing up ♪
1841
01:39:06,092 --> 01:39:07,217
♪ Hold on ♪
1842
01:39:10,925 --> 01:39:12,217
♪ Trust me, trust me, baby ♪
1843
01:39:13,133 --> 01:39:16,008
♪ Into the sky
we can, we can, we can make it ♪
1844
01:39:18,092 --> 01:39:20,758
♪ I got it, you got it, we got it ♪
1845
01:39:23,717 --> 01:39:25,425
♪ I got this under control ♪
1846
01:39:29,175 --> 01:39:32,883
♪ You can, you can, you can call me
together, unstoppable ♪
1847
01:39:32,967 --> 01:39:35,758
♪ I got it, you got it, we got it ♪