1
00:00:39,907 --> 00:00:44,105
CARRIE: Year after year, 20-something
women come to New York City...
2
00:00:44,278 --> 00:00:47,111
... in search of the two L 's:
3
00:00:47,281 --> 00:00:50,478
Labels and love.
4
00:00:53,354 --> 00:00:55,515
- Yeah.
- He's the best.
5
00:00:56,657 --> 00:00:58,716
WOMAN:
Hot dress!
6
00:00:59,126 --> 00:01:02,220
Twenty years ago, I was one of them.
7
00:01:13,341 --> 00:01:18,438
Having gotten the knack for labels early,
I concentrated on my search for love.
8
00:01:18,612 --> 00:01:22,776
Turns out, a knockoff is not as easy to spot
when it comes to love.
9
00:01:22,950 --> 00:01:24,850
What? You're married?
10
00:01:25,019 --> 00:01:27,283
You fucking asshole!
Motherfucker, you're married?
11
00:01:27,455 --> 00:01:29,787
- Until it is.
- I fucking hate you.
12
00:01:29,957 --> 00:01:32,391
That is why you need help to spot them.
13
00:01:32,927 --> 00:01:34,554
Lots of help.
14
00:01:34,729 --> 00:01:37,755
Help also known as Charlotte York...
15
00:01:39,333 --> 00:01:41,233
... Miranda Hobbes...
16
00:01:42,036 --> 00:01:43,833
... and Samantha Jones.
17
00:01:44,138 --> 00:01:47,539
- Oh, my God, look at his.
MAN: Hey.
18
00:01:47,842 --> 00:01:49,070
Hi, how are you?
19
00:01:52,847 --> 00:01:53,939
Oh, well.
20
00:01:55,883 --> 00:01:59,842
My name is Carrie Bradshaw,
and I'm a writer.
21
00:02:00,021 --> 00:02:03,821
Year after year,
my single girlfriends were my salvation.
22
00:02:03,991 --> 00:02:06,619
And as it turns out, my meal ticket.
23
00:02:08,863 --> 00:02:11,855
I've been dating since I was 15.
I'm exhausted. Where is he?
24
00:02:12,033 --> 00:02:14,433
Charlotte was looking
for the perfect love.
25
00:02:14,602 --> 00:02:17,662
- Trey can't get it up.
- Well, almost perfect.
26
00:02:17,838 --> 00:02:19,362
I'm becoming a Jew.
27
00:02:23,210 --> 00:02:26,543
We're not barren,
we're reproductively challenged.
28
00:02:26,714 --> 00:02:28,944
- They're giving us a baby.
- That's our baby.
29
00:02:29,116 --> 00:02:32,517
So Charlotte and Harry journeyed
to China and back...
30
00:02:32,686 --> 00:02:34,881
... for their daughter, Lily.
31
00:02:35,723 --> 00:02:38,248
Miranda was a disciple of tough love.
32
00:02:38,426 --> 00:02:40,121
Bye. Great sex.
33
00:02:41,962 --> 00:02:43,554
- Steve, I'm pregnant.
- You're what?
34
00:02:43,731 --> 00:02:44,755
Carrie.
35
00:02:44,932 --> 00:02:47,799
I, Miranda Hobbes,
take you, Steve Brady...
36
00:02:47,968 --> 00:02:50,994
And Miranda journeyed to Brooklyn
for Brady and Steve.
37
00:02:51,172 --> 00:02:53,333
Who wants a Popsicle?
38
00:02:53,507 --> 00:02:55,475
Oh, man. Boy.
39
00:02:55,643 --> 00:02:58,578
Samantha's love was sex.
40
00:02:58,746 --> 00:03:00,270
Lots of sex.
41
00:03:00,448 --> 00:03:02,973
I'm dating a guy
with the funkiest-tasting spunk.
42
00:03:03,150 --> 00:03:04,481
Can I cancel my rice pudding?
43
00:03:04,652 --> 00:03:08,247
And then she found a man
that combined sex and love.
44
00:03:08,422 --> 00:03:09,753
I'm gonna help you be a star.
45
00:03:11,525 --> 00:03:12,822
Yes, he is interested...
46
00:03:12,993 --> 00:03:18,226
So Samantha journeyed to Hollywood
with television star Smith Jerrod.
47
00:03:18,866 --> 00:03:22,632
As for me,
I was looking for something big.
48
00:03:23,804 --> 00:03:25,101
Get in.
49
00:03:25,272 --> 00:03:31,302
Mr. Big. Turns out when that big
love comes along, it's not always easy.
50
00:03:31,579 --> 00:03:32,739
CARRIE:
Just tell me I'm the one.
51
00:03:32,913 --> 00:03:36,041
And despite all the other chapters
of my life...
52
00:03:36,217 --> 00:03:39,709
... no one was ever quite
big enough until...
53
00:03:39,887 --> 00:03:41,184
Carrie, you're the one.
54
00:03:41,355 --> 00:03:44,256
And just like that, I was.
55
00:03:45,893 --> 00:03:48,657
Three books and three years later...
56
00:03:48,829 --> 00:03:52,595
... we still feel like those four single girls.
57
00:03:52,766 --> 00:03:55,326
And even though time had moved us on...
58
00:03:55,503 --> 00:03:59,064
... I managed to stay exactly where I was:
59
00:04:01,342 --> 00:04:02,400
In love.
60
00:04:15,789 --> 00:04:17,416
- Thank you.
- You're welcome.
61
00:04:17,691 --> 00:04:19,591
I got a good feeling about this one, kid.
62
00:04:19,760 --> 00:04:21,819
Oh, I hope so.
I've always loved this block.
63
00:04:22,763 --> 00:04:24,788
Hi, 3C?
64
00:04:24,965 --> 00:04:27,832
Finding the perfect apartment
in New York City...
65
00:04:28,002 --> 00:04:31,665
... is like finding the perfect partner.
It can take years.
66
00:04:31,839 --> 00:04:35,536
- So how many is this?
- Thirty-three.
67
00:04:35,709 --> 00:04:37,870
Lucky 33.
68
00:04:41,081 --> 00:04:46,018
- The worst. I just left you a message.
- And the kitchen's through here.
69
00:04:47,421 --> 00:04:49,082
CAROL:
That's the window with the best view.
70
00:04:50,524 --> 00:04:54,517
Thirty-four? Lucky 34?
71
00:04:55,029 --> 00:04:58,021
Well, if anything else opens up,
let us know.
72
00:04:58,199 --> 00:05:01,032
We're very interested in this building.
73
00:05:01,202 --> 00:05:04,069
I do have another apartment
that's not even on the market yet.
74
00:05:04,238 --> 00:05:05,500
Care to take a look?
75
00:05:05,673 --> 00:05:06,697
- Sure.
- Sure.
76
00:05:06,874 --> 00:05:08,432
All right, then.
77
00:05:09,076 --> 00:05:11,840
It's more than you were looking to pay.
78
00:05:12,012 --> 00:05:14,310
- How much more?
- More.
79
00:05:22,923 --> 00:05:25,619
So this is where they keep the light.
80
00:05:25,793 --> 00:05:27,852
Oh, my God.
81
00:05:28,028 --> 00:05:32,897
I have died
and gone to real-estate heaven.
82
00:05:34,001 --> 00:05:35,969
Just a simple home for two.
83
00:05:37,538 --> 00:05:40,507
And across the rooftop terrace...
84
00:05:40,674 --> 00:05:42,938
What, nirvana?
85
00:05:47,014 --> 00:05:50,108
Hello. I live here.
86
00:05:50,718 --> 00:05:52,447
Your wife has quite a sense of humor.
87
00:05:53,487 --> 00:05:56,718
- They're not married.
- He's my boyfriend.
88
00:05:57,258 --> 00:05:59,055
This way.
89
00:06:00,261 --> 00:06:03,856
Aren't I a little old
to be introduced as your boyfriend?
90
00:06:04,031 --> 00:06:07,865
Point taken. From now on,
you'll be my man-friend.
91
00:06:08,035 --> 00:06:11,766
- That sounds like a dog.
- Well, if the shoe fits...
92
00:06:11,939 --> 00:06:14,339
And this is the master bedroom.
93
00:06:14,508 --> 00:06:15,770
Uh.
94
00:06:15,943 --> 00:06:20,209
It's hideous. I hate it. Hurts my eyes.
95
00:06:21,382 --> 00:06:25,182
- How is this place even available?
- Nasty divorce.
96
00:06:25,352 --> 00:06:28,480
If you live here,
what is there to fight about?
97
00:06:34,995 --> 00:06:36,292
Hm.
98
00:06:36,463 --> 00:06:40,126
- Well, now I understand the divorce.
- I can build you a better closet.
99
00:06:43,103 --> 00:06:44,570
Welcome home, baby.
100
00:06:45,839 --> 00:06:48,740
Can...? Can we afford this?
101
00:06:49,977 --> 00:06:51,604
I got it.
102
00:06:52,479 --> 00:06:55,346
BIG:
Okay, let's sign some contracts.
103
00:06:55,516 --> 00:06:56,778
"I got it." Just like that.
104
00:06:56,950 --> 00:06:59,919
- Like he was picking up a check for coffee.
- It sounds perfect.
105
00:07:00,087 --> 00:07:02,351
Except for the closet,
which Big says he can redo.
106
00:07:02,523 --> 00:07:04,150
And he says the kitchen needs work.
107
00:07:04,325 --> 00:07:07,658
Of course, I don't know about that
because I keep sweaters in my stove.
108
00:07:07,828 --> 00:07:09,955
So he bought it
and you'll live there with him.
109
00:07:10,130 --> 00:07:11,427
Yes, together. That's right.
110
00:07:11,598 --> 00:07:14,260
But he'll own it, so
you're keeping your own place, right?
111
00:07:14,435 --> 00:07:16,995
I haven't figured out the details,
but I'm a smart girl.
112
00:07:17,171 --> 00:07:19,571
I'll figure out something
that I'm comfortable with.
113
00:07:19,740 --> 00:07:21,833
I just wanna be sure
that you're being smart.
114
00:07:22,009 --> 00:07:23,442
And I love you for that.
115
00:07:23,610 --> 00:07:26,170
But for now,
can't you stop worrying for me...
116
00:07:26,347 --> 00:07:29,544
...and just go ahead and feel
what I want you to feel, jealous?
117
00:07:29,917 --> 00:07:35,184
Oh, jealous of me living in this
gorgeous penthouse in Manhattan.
118
00:07:35,356 --> 00:07:37,187
- All right, I'm jealous.
- Thanks.
119
00:07:37,358 --> 00:07:40,259
You live in real-estate heaven
and I live in Brooklyn.
120
00:07:40,427 --> 00:07:43,328
New York magazine said
Brooklyn is the new Manhattan.
121
00:07:43,497 --> 00:07:45,328
Whoever wrote that lives in Brooklyn.
122
00:07:45,499 --> 00:07:47,899
- Hey, there she is. Hey, Hollywood.
- Hey.
123
00:07:49,636 --> 00:07:51,536
CARRIE:
Oh, lady. Hi.
124
00:07:52,206 --> 00:07:53,673
- How was your flight?
- Fabulous.
125
00:07:53,841 --> 00:07:54,865
- Oh, good.
- Good.
126
00:07:55,042 --> 00:07:56,805
- Let's go in. I'm so excited.
CHARLOTTE: Show us.
127
00:07:58,011 --> 00:08:03,074
It was a rare occasion that brought
all types of New York women together.
128
00:08:03,250 --> 00:08:04,774
Sorry.
129
00:08:05,552 --> 00:08:09,079
Blair Elkenn was a waitress
turned model turned actress...
130
00:08:09,256 --> 00:08:12,157
... turned billionaire's girlfriend
who came home one night...
131
00:08:12,326 --> 00:08:15,955
... to find herself unceremoniously
turned out on the street.
132
00:08:16,130 --> 00:08:17,154
Oh, my God.
133
00:08:17,331 --> 00:08:20,664
And now she was getting
the ultimate breakup revenge:
134
00:08:20,834 --> 00:08:22,859
An embarrassing
and very public auction...
135
00:08:23,036 --> 00:08:26,164
... of all the jewelry he had given her
when they were happy.
136
00:08:26,640 --> 00:08:29,666
There it is. My baby.
137
00:08:29,843 --> 00:08:31,333
Oh, she's a beauty.
138
00:08:31,512 --> 00:08:34,447
When I saw it in the catalog,
I said to Smith:
139
00:08:34,615 --> 00:08:39,075
"This flower ring is the essence of me.
One of a kind, filled with fire."
140
00:08:39,253 --> 00:08:42,188
- And a little too much.
- Exactly.
141
00:08:42,356 --> 00:08:45,883
Let's go spend some of
my hard-earned Hollywood money.
142
00:08:46,059 --> 00:08:49,028
And now Lot 39, the flower ring.
143
00:08:49,196 --> 00:08:50,220
That's it.
144
00:08:50,397 --> 00:08:53,127
We'd like to start the bidding
on this at $ 10,000, please.
145
00:08:53,300 --> 00:08:56,133
At ten-thousand doll...
Thank you, madam. At 10,000.
146
00:08:56,303 --> 00:08:58,794
Fifteen thousand. At $ 15,000.
147
00:08:58,972 --> 00:09:01,873
Hey, she's bidding for somebody
on the phone.
148
00:09:02,643 --> 00:09:05,510
CHARLOTTE: That's not fair.
- Bitch.
149
00:09:05,679 --> 00:09:07,704
The gloves are off.
150
00:09:07,881 --> 00:09:10,441
At $30,000. Now it's against you.
Thirty-five thousand.
151
00:09:10,617 --> 00:09:13,051
- I work hard, I deserve this.
AUCTIONEER: At 40,000 now.
152
00:09:13,320 --> 00:09:16,721
At 40? Forty thousand?
Forty thousand, thank you.
153
00:09:16,890 --> 00:09:19,825
Forty-five thousand. At $45,000.
Now 50,000?
154
00:09:19,993 --> 00:09:22,553
Fifty fucking thousand.
155
00:09:23,330 --> 00:09:27,960
At 50,000. Fifty-five thousand?
At $55,000 against you.
156
00:09:28,135 --> 00:09:32,572
Would you like to say 60?
Sixty to our colorful bidder? At 60,000?
157
00:09:32,739 --> 00:09:34,798
I draw the line at 50.
158
00:09:37,110 --> 00:09:40,443
I thought this auction would be more fun,
but it's kind of sad.
159
00:09:40,614 --> 00:09:41,672
Isn't it?
160
00:09:41,849 --> 00:09:45,012
I thought it was just sad for me
because I know her.
161
00:09:45,185 --> 00:09:46,880
But it really is sad, huh?
162
00:09:47,387 --> 00:09:49,446
And it's funny
because they were so happy.
163
00:09:49,623 --> 00:09:52,091
- Yeah, till they weren't.
- I know, right?
164
00:09:53,427 --> 00:09:57,557
We all told her to get married
but she didn't wanna listen.
165
00:09:57,731 --> 00:10:00,996
He'd been married three times before,
so she let it ride...
166
00:10:01,168 --> 00:10:05,002
...and then she came home one night
and he had locked her out.
167
00:10:05,172 --> 00:10:07,037
She didn't even have anywhere to live.
168
00:10:07,508 --> 00:10:10,705
Such a shame. After 10 years.
169
00:10:10,878 --> 00:10:12,573
She was a smart girl...
170
00:10:12,746 --> 00:10:14,873
...till she fell in love.
171
00:10:23,123 --> 00:10:25,250
I'm thinking...
172
00:10:26,093 --> 00:10:29,221
...I'm going to sell my apartment...
173
00:10:29,396 --> 00:10:31,455
...and put the money towards
heaven on 5th.
174
00:10:31,632 --> 00:10:33,623
Why? You love your apartment.
175
00:10:33,800 --> 00:10:37,793
I know, but there's plenty of room
in the new place and...
176
00:10:38,205 --> 00:10:41,368
And besides, I...
177
00:10:41,542 --> 00:10:44,102
I want to make us a life there.
178
00:10:44,411 --> 00:10:47,471
You know, I... I want it to be ours.
179
00:10:47,648 --> 00:10:50,811
It is ours. I bought it for us.
180
00:10:50,984 --> 00:10:54,818
And that's so amazing,
but you bought it.
181
00:10:55,622 --> 00:11:00,787
So really it's your place
and if anything were to happen...
182
00:11:00,961 --> 00:11:02,360
What's going to happen?
183
00:11:02,529 --> 00:11:07,330
Come on, I have to be smart here.
We're not married, I'd have no legal rights...
184
00:11:07,501 --> 00:11:11,733
...you know, to...
To this home that I built...
185
00:11:12,839 --> 00:11:14,670
...with you.
186
00:11:16,810 --> 00:11:18,675
Did you wanna get married?
187
00:11:21,848 --> 00:11:25,477
Well, I didn't...
I didn't think that was an option.
188
00:11:25,852 --> 00:11:27,251
What if it was an option?
189
00:11:29,122 --> 00:11:31,147
Why? What, do you wanna get married?
190
00:11:31,558 --> 00:11:34,550
I wouldn't mind being married to you.
191
00:11:34,728 --> 00:11:37,162
Would you mind being married to me?
192
00:11:37,764 --> 00:11:41,791
No. No, not if...
Not if that's what you wanted.
193
00:11:44,037 --> 00:11:47,495
I mean, is...? Is that what you want?
194
00:11:48,542 --> 00:11:50,533
I want you.
195
00:11:51,278 --> 00:11:52,939
So...
196
00:11:53,680 --> 00:11:55,375
...okay.
197
00:11:55,549 --> 00:11:57,039
So...?
198
00:11:57,284 --> 00:12:00,481
- Really? We're...? We're getting married?
- We're getting married.
199
00:12:00,654 --> 00:12:04,112
- Should we get you a diamond?
- No, no.
200
00:12:04,725 --> 00:12:07,319
Just get me a really big closet.
201
00:12:08,495 --> 00:12:13,626
So the other night Big and I
were talking about...
202
00:12:13,800 --> 00:12:18,794
...you know,
moving in together and our future...
203
00:12:18,972 --> 00:12:21,805
...and, you know, what makes sense
as we move forward and...
204
00:12:23,543 --> 00:12:25,443
...well...
205
00:12:26,913 --> 00:12:28,471
...we decided to get married.
206
00:12:28,649 --> 00:12:30,742
[SCREAMS]
207
00:12:31,385 --> 00:12:33,376
- And I'm deaf.
- I'm so excited!
208
00:12:33,854 --> 00:12:36,049
- Everybody is looking.
- Sorry!
209
00:12:36,223 --> 00:12:38,248
I'm so sorry, everyone...
210
00:12:38,425 --> 00:12:41,553
...but this is my friend
and she just got engaged.
211
00:12:41,728 --> 00:12:46,893
And she has been going out
with the man for 10 years.
212
00:12:51,171 --> 00:12:52,399
I'm mortified.
213
00:12:52,572 --> 00:12:55,666
There is literally a ringing in my ear.
214
00:12:55,842 --> 00:12:56,934
[PHONE RINGS]
215
00:12:57,110 --> 00:12:58,577
And the big news
was about to go bicoastal.
216
00:12:58,745 --> 00:12:59,769
Samantha Jones.
217
00:12:59,946 --> 00:13:04,042
Well, I made a little decision
I hope you'll be happy about.
218
00:13:04,217 --> 00:13:09,052
- Oh, honey, you finally got Botox.
- No, I did not get Botox.
219
00:13:09,222 --> 00:13:12,714
- I'm telling you, Carrie, you're gonna love it.
- I did not call...
220
00:13:12,893 --> 00:13:15,555
...to talk about Botox.
- Well, I'm just saying.
221
00:13:15,729 --> 00:13:17,959
So last week...
222
00:13:18,131 --> 00:13:21,498
... after the auction,
I started thinking about my options.
223
00:13:21,668 --> 00:13:24,762
- Right.
- And, um...
224
00:13:27,240 --> 00:13:29,800
Well, Big and I decided to get married.
225
00:13:30,877 --> 00:13:33,846
- Really?
- Yeah.
226
00:13:34,214 --> 00:13:36,910
Well, that's great.
227
00:13:37,617 --> 00:13:39,482
You sounded more excited
about the Botox.
228
00:13:39,653 --> 00:13:42,952
Honey, I am excited for you,
but you know me.
229
00:13:43,123 --> 00:13:45,114
I don't really believe in marriage.
230
00:13:45,292 --> 00:13:48,955
Now, Botox, on the other hand,
that works every time.
231
00:13:49,129 --> 00:13:51,063
Honey, I... I gotta go.
232
00:13:51,231 --> 00:13:53,631
We can catch up
when I'm in town next week.
233
00:13:53,800 --> 00:13:55,290
[BEEPS]
234
00:14:03,143 --> 00:14:05,202
[PHONE RINGS]
235
00:14:06,713 --> 00:14:07,737
Hello.
236
00:14:08,515 --> 00:14:09,982
I think I was in shock.
237
00:14:10,550 --> 00:14:12,780
I mean, it's you getting married.
238
00:14:12,953 --> 00:14:15,183
This is not some random person, it's you.
239
00:14:15,355 --> 00:14:16,379
Yeah, I hear you.
240
00:14:16,556 --> 00:14:20,185
I thought that after that big mess with
Aidan, you'd never wanna get married.
241
00:14:21,561 --> 00:14:24,496
So I put you in my
"we're never getting married" file.
242
00:14:24,664 --> 00:14:26,859
Now I'm gonna have to
take you out of that file.
243
00:14:27,033 --> 00:14:31,026
Well, I'm sorry about
all the extra paperwork.
244
00:14:31,204 --> 00:14:32,228
You'll get my bill.
245
00:14:32,405 --> 00:14:35,374
Samantha, it just feels
so different this time.
246
00:14:40,480 --> 00:14:42,072
It's just...
247
00:14:42,449 --> 00:14:46,977
...two grownups making a decision
about spending their lives together.
248
00:14:47,621 --> 00:14:50,215
Well, I'm happy for you.
249
00:14:50,891 --> 00:14:52,256
Oh, and hey, one more thing.
250
00:14:52,425 --> 00:14:56,794
I want you to be maid of honor.
251
00:14:56,963 --> 00:15:00,228
- How do you feel about that?
- The same way you feel about Botox:
252
00:15:00,400 --> 00:15:02,300
Painful and unnecessary.
253
00:15:02,636 --> 00:15:07,403
- Seventy-four, 75, 76. Seventy-six guests.
- Seventy-five sounds better.
254
00:15:07,574 --> 00:15:11,066
A small wedding of 75 guests.
255
00:15:11,244 --> 00:15:14,304
Seventy-six trombones, yes.
Seventy-six guests, no.
256
00:15:14,481 --> 00:15:16,472
As a wedding gift,
Charlotte had given me...
257
00:15:16,650 --> 00:15:19,278
... Anthony Marantino,
friend and wedding planner.
258
00:15:19,452 --> 00:15:21,079
All right.
259
00:15:21,555 --> 00:15:23,386
Well, that's...
260
00:15:23,857 --> 00:15:26,553
Cutthroat. I love it.
I hope you're this decisive...
261
00:15:26,726 --> 00:15:29,661
...when it comes to location and the dress.
- I found the dress.
262
00:15:29,830 --> 00:15:32,230
- What? When?
- Yeah, the other day. I have it.
263
00:15:34,467 --> 00:15:37,925
- This is gonna be good.
- I am so excited.
264
00:15:38,104 --> 00:15:39,935
Okay.
265
00:15:40,440 --> 00:15:42,305
Here it is.
266
00:15:46,847 --> 00:15:49,077
That was the exact reaction
I was aiming for.
267
00:15:49,416 --> 00:15:52,749
It's pretty, but it's... It's so simple.
268
00:15:52,919 --> 00:15:54,819
It's simple and classic.
269
00:15:54,988 --> 00:16:00,085
When I saw it, I thought,
"That is what I should marry Big in."
270
00:16:00,260 --> 00:16:04,560
- Well, who's it by? What's the label?
- No one. I found it at a vintage shop.
271
00:16:05,665 --> 00:16:08,259
The bride wore a dress by no one.
272
00:16:08,435 --> 00:16:11,029
Oh, come on,
you know I'm gonna merchandise it up...
273
00:16:11,204 --> 00:16:13,604
...style it up with some shoes.
CHARLOTTE: Right.
274
00:16:14,841 --> 00:16:16,775
The invitation is fancier than the dress.
275
00:16:16,943 --> 00:16:18,911
- I heard that.
- I meant you to.
276
00:16:19,446 --> 00:16:21,505
HARRY:
Don't tell anyone.
277
00:16:23,750 --> 00:16:25,718
[SCREAMS]
278
00:16:30,790 --> 00:16:34,556
CHARLOTTE: " The ultimate single gal, Carrie
Bradshaw, will be married in Manolos...
279
00:16:34,728 --> 00:16:39,290
...to New York financier
John James Preston come fall."
280
00:16:39,466 --> 00:16:42,629
- Our wedding's on Page Six.
- Who would put that in there?
281
00:16:42,802 --> 00:16:48,104
"Proving to single gals everywhere
that there can be a happy ending over 40."
282
00:16:50,543 --> 00:16:52,033
- Carrie.
- Congratulations.
283
00:16:52,212 --> 00:16:55,704
It seemed everywhere I went,
people had seen Page Six.
284
00:16:55,882 --> 00:16:59,841
Even people you didn't expect,
like my Vogue editor, Enid.
285
00:17:00,020 --> 00:17:02,580
We're putting together
our annual age issue...
286
00:17:02,756 --> 00:17:04,246
...and we'd like you to do 40.
287
00:17:04,424 --> 00:17:06,688
- Great. Who am I interviewing?
- No.
288
00:17:06,860 --> 00:17:08,953
You. You are 40.
289
00:17:09,129 --> 00:17:12,826
I want you to be featured in the magazine
as the 40-year-old...
290
00:17:12,999 --> 00:17:15,661
And here's the brilliant twist.
- bride.
291
00:17:17,671 --> 00:17:20,970
Wait, I'm... I would be in the magazine?
292
00:17:21,141 --> 00:17:24,599
In bridal couture.
It's a once-in-a-lifetime opportunity...
293
00:17:24,778 --> 00:17:29,909
...so spare me a week of
faux soul-searching and just say yes.
294
00:17:30,083 --> 00:17:33,484
Enid, I am so very flattered,
but honestly, I...
295
00:17:33,653 --> 00:17:35,382
Carrie, Vogue designers.
296
00:17:35,555 --> 00:17:37,216
Vogue photographers.
297
00:17:37,390 --> 00:17:39,017
Vogue airbrushing.
298
00:17:39,659 --> 00:17:42,526
Nod your head. Yes.
299
00:17:45,565 --> 00:17:47,692
Thank you. It will be a sensation.
300
00:17:47,867 --> 00:17:50,335
We're calling it "The Last Single Girl."
301
00:17:50,503 --> 00:17:54,530
Well, I'm hardly the last single girl.
302
00:17:54,708 --> 00:17:58,906
No, but 40 is the last age a woman
can be photographed in a wedding gown...
303
00:17:59,079 --> 00:18:01,980
...without the unintended
Diane Arbus subtext.
304
00:18:02,148 --> 00:18:05,640
I thought the issue was
"Great Style at Every Age."
305
00:18:05,819 --> 00:18:08,913
Style, yes. Bride, no.
306
00:18:13,760 --> 00:18:15,921
- Is that better?
- Just your typical Wednesday.
307
00:18:16,096 --> 00:18:18,564
Hanging out with old friends
like Stanford Blatch...
308
00:18:19,199 --> 00:18:22,100
... and new friends like Vera Wang.
309
00:18:22,268 --> 00:18:25,863
She's looking at home for someone
who didn't think she had the bride gene.
310
00:18:26,039 --> 00:18:28,769
- Well, I guess with the right man...
- And the right dress.
311
00:18:29,309 --> 00:18:32,767
When I get married, I'm wearing
something like that, only bigger.
312
00:18:34,047 --> 00:18:35,537
MAN:
Beauty. Hot.
313
00:18:36,082 --> 00:18:37,606
Love the veil.
314
00:18:37,784 --> 00:18:40,082
And Carolina Herrera.
315
00:18:42,722 --> 00:18:45,122
MAN: Nothing fancy, but it's beautiful.
Good work.
316
00:18:45,291 --> 00:18:46,383
Great, let's do it.
317
00:18:57,604 --> 00:18:59,799
And Christian Lacroix.
318
00:19:04,744 --> 00:19:07,770
Come on, look at the model.
319
00:19:09,282 --> 00:19:10,579
And Lanvin.
320
00:19:15,555 --> 00:19:16,579
And Dior.
321
00:19:25,331 --> 00:19:27,891
And Oscar de la Renta.
322
00:19:31,805 --> 00:19:36,105
And finally, Vivienne Westwood.
323
00:19:36,276 --> 00:19:38,608
A dress so special...
324
00:19:38,778 --> 00:19:43,772
... it could bring a wedding tear from
even the most unbelieving of women.
325
00:19:49,923 --> 00:19:54,189
And then, the impossible happened.
326
00:20:20,453 --> 00:20:21,818
And just like that...
327
00:20:21,988 --> 00:20:26,118
... Vivienne Westwood
kicked my sweet little suit's ass.
328
00:20:35,135 --> 00:20:36,830
Can I lean?
329
00:20:43,877 --> 00:20:47,005
Are you the last person in New York
still taking out library books?
330
00:20:47,180 --> 00:20:49,478
I love the smell.
331
00:20:50,717 --> 00:20:52,150
Mm.
332
00:20:53,386 --> 00:20:56,355
Oh. That's an oldie.
333
00:20:56,823 --> 00:20:59,257
"Love Letters of Great Men,
Volume One. "
334
00:20:59,425 --> 00:21:01,484
- Oh, am I in there?
- No, no.
335
00:21:01,661 --> 00:21:05,791
But some of your classmates are,
like Voltaire, Napoleon.
336
00:21:07,367 --> 00:21:11,531
- Young lady, you need to get glasses.
- No, I don't. I have yours.
337
00:21:11,704 --> 00:21:13,934
Okay, here's Napoleon.
338
00:21:14,374 --> 00:21:18,037
"My dearest Josephine,
I wake consumed with thoughts of you."
339
00:21:18,211 --> 00:21:21,442
Typical short guy.
Gives it all away upfront.
340
00:21:21,748 --> 00:21:24,717
- Why are you reading this?
- It's research for my new book.
341
00:21:24,884 --> 00:21:28,479
- Oh. What's it about?
- Love.
342
00:21:28,655 --> 00:21:30,282
I used to write about finding love.
343
00:21:30,456 --> 00:21:33,857
Now I wanna write about
what happens after you've found it.
344
00:21:34,027 --> 00:21:35,790
Interesting.
345
00:21:35,962 --> 00:21:39,193
- What happens?
- Mm. Stay tuned.
346
00:21:39,866 --> 00:21:42,130
Oh, here, listen. It's Beethoven.
347
00:21:42,302 --> 00:21:44,668
Bring it, Ludwig.
348
00:21:46,306 --> 00:21:49,764
"My thoughts go out to you,
my immortal beloved.
349
00:21:49,943 --> 00:21:53,743
I can live only wholly with you
or not at all."
350
00:21:53,913 --> 00:21:55,244
Good stuff.
351
00:21:55,415 --> 00:21:57,781
"Be calm my life, my all.
352
00:21:57,951 --> 00:22:00,784
Only by calm consideration
of our existence...
353
00:22:00,954 --> 00:22:03,752
...can we achieve
our purpose to live together.
354
00:22:03,923 --> 00:22:06,357
Oh, continue to love me.
Never misjudge...
355
00:22:06,526 --> 00:22:09,461
...the most faithful heart of your beloved.
356
00:22:09,629 --> 00:22:14,760
Ever thine. Ever mine. Ever ours."
357
00:22:18,705 --> 00:22:21,105
Have you ever written me a love letter?
358
00:22:21,274 --> 00:22:22,741
Does a love fax count?
359
00:22:23,643 --> 00:22:27,773
- When have I ever gotten a love fax?
- Oh, I'm sure my secretary sent you one...
360
00:22:27,947 --> 00:22:30,279
...at some point.
- Yeah.
361
00:22:30,750 --> 00:22:33,844
What can I tell you, baby?
It's not my style.
362
00:22:34,020 --> 00:22:37,387
Besides, those guys had to write.
They were separated from their loves...
363
00:22:37,557 --> 00:22:41,220
...by wars
and hundreds and hundreds of miles.
364
00:22:41,394 --> 00:22:43,521
I'm right here.
365
00:22:43,696 --> 00:22:45,630
Hello.
366
00:22:47,100 --> 00:22:51,196
- You make me very happy.
- Yeah, yeah. Put it in writing.
367
00:22:52,338 --> 00:22:57,002
With my mind prenuptially preoccupied,
I became delinquent with my library books.
368
00:22:57,176 --> 00:23:00,976
So now the tragic love stories
of Wuthering Heights and Love Story...
369
00:23:01,147 --> 00:23:03,274
... were going to cost me
more than a few tears.
370
00:23:03,449 --> 00:23:05,440
Excuse me, which way is the wedding?
371
00:23:05,685 --> 00:23:07,585
Up the stairs.
372
00:23:18,564 --> 00:23:20,657
It was perfect.
373
00:23:20,833 --> 00:23:23,859
Big and I would be married
in the classic New York landmark...
374
00:23:24,037 --> 00:23:27,803
... that housed all the great love stories.
375
00:23:30,977 --> 00:23:32,774
Where is the waiter with the check?
376
00:23:32,945 --> 00:23:36,540
Jeez, Miranda, relax.
Magda hasn't even finished yet.
377
00:23:42,922 --> 00:23:45,550
I still have a brief to work on
when I get home.
378
00:23:45,725 --> 00:23:49,286
- I have to go to the bathroom.
- I'll take him.
379
00:23:49,462 --> 00:23:50,520
MIRANDA:
Thank you, Magda.
380
00:23:51,464 --> 00:23:55,230
We're gonna wash that beautiful face.
Come, darling.
381
00:23:57,603 --> 00:23:58,627
What?
382
00:23:58,805 --> 00:24:01,273
We can't let the hard-working nanny
finish her supper?
383
00:24:01,441 --> 00:24:05,070
I'm sorry, I'm exhausted.
Brady woke me up at 5 a.m.
384
00:24:05,244 --> 00:24:08,270
- Hey, he woke me up too.
- Yeah.
385
00:24:08,448 --> 00:24:11,246
We gotta stop letting Brady
come into our bed.
386
00:24:15,621 --> 00:24:17,486
You got milk on your top lip.
387
00:24:19,258 --> 00:24:20,418
What now?
388
00:24:20,593 --> 00:24:23,892
- It's like you're always criticizing me.
- I am not.
389
00:24:24,831 --> 00:24:28,995
You wanna go through life with foam
on your lip and no one ever telling you?
390
00:24:36,609 --> 00:24:38,839
Anything you wanna tell me?
391
00:24:45,918 --> 00:24:48,785
Hm. Is there anything you wanna tell me?
392
00:24:51,591 --> 00:24:54,458
[MOANING]
393
00:24:55,428 --> 00:24:59,922
- Yeah. Yeah.
- Wait. Wait. Don't come already.
394
00:25:00,099 --> 00:25:03,660
- Yeah.
- No, wait. Get on top.
395
00:25:03,836 --> 00:25:06,464
Let's just get it over with.
396
00:25:10,676 --> 00:25:14,112
I mean, we gotta get up
in four and a half hours.
397
00:25:15,314 --> 00:25:18,772
We never have sex
and you wanna get it over with?
398
00:25:23,990 --> 00:25:27,858
- Steve, we have sex.
- When was the last time we had sex?
399
00:25:28,828 --> 00:25:30,625
Um...
400
00:25:33,366 --> 00:25:36,199
STEVE:
There was snow on the ground.
401
00:25:42,708 --> 00:25:45,404
- How often do you guys have sex?
- Sex.
402
00:25:45,578 --> 00:25:47,375
- Miranda, please.
MIRANDA: What?
403
00:25:47,847 --> 00:25:49,974
She's 3.
She doesn't know what it means.
404
00:25:50,149 --> 00:25:52,140
I'm 41 and I still don't know
what it means.
405
00:25:52,318 --> 00:25:54,582
I know, but she is repeating everything.
406
00:25:54,754 --> 00:25:58,884
If I'd known the girl talk was gonna be on
lockdown, I wouldn't have flown 3000 miles.
407
00:25:59,058 --> 00:26:01,686
No, we can talk.
Let's just not use that word.
408
00:26:02,328 --> 00:26:05,855
Fine. How often do you guys?
409
00:26:06,032 --> 00:26:07,727
- Color?
CHARLOTTE: Thank you.
410
00:26:07,900 --> 00:26:12,234
Well, I can't color enough.
I could color all day every day.
411
00:26:12,405 --> 00:26:16,501
If I had my way,
I would use every crayon in my box.
412
00:26:16,676 --> 00:26:19,907
We get it. You love to color.
413
00:26:20,079 --> 00:26:21,842
Why are you asking?
414
00:26:22,014 --> 00:26:27,213
Well, last night Steve and I were coloring,
and I was just about to...
415
00:26:27,386 --> 00:26:30,150
Come.
I'm sorry, there's no crayon equivalent.
416
00:26:30,323 --> 00:26:33,850
And he wanted to switch positions
and I said:
417
00:26:34,861 --> 00:26:36,419
"Let's just get it over with."
418
00:26:39,031 --> 00:26:41,591
- He kept trying to make it last longer.
- This is bad?
419
00:26:41,767 --> 00:26:44,634
- It is when you have a full-time job.
- I have a full-time job.
420
00:26:44,804 --> 00:26:47,637
You don't also have a 5-year-old,
play dates, PTA meetings...
421
00:26:47,807 --> 00:26:51,243
...and a mother-in-law in a rest home
with advancing Alzheimer's.
422
00:26:51,410 --> 00:26:54,607
We're just going through
a no-coloring phase.
423
00:26:54,780 --> 00:26:57,578
- It comes and goes, right?
CHARLOTTE: Every couple is different.
424
00:26:57,984 --> 00:27:00,475
Harry and I make love
two, three times a week.
425
00:27:00,653 --> 00:27:03,884
- Great, now I feel worse.
- Well, when was the last time for you?
426
00:27:05,892 --> 00:27:07,985
- Six months ago.
- Oh, my.
427
00:27:09,262 --> 00:27:11,253
It sounds long.
428
00:27:11,430 --> 00:27:14,399
- But... But that's a dry spell.
- I bet it is.
429
00:27:14,567 --> 00:27:17,968
Hey, Carrie. What about you and Big?
430
00:27:18,437 --> 00:27:21,463
Come on. I told. Tell.
431
00:27:21,641 --> 00:27:22,869
Mm-mm.
432
00:27:23,042 --> 00:27:25,010
But I will tell you this.
433
00:27:25,177 --> 00:27:26,940
When Big colors...
434
00:27:28,514 --> 00:27:31,915
...he rarely stays inside the lines.
435
00:27:32,084 --> 00:27:34,575
Well, this has been very helpful.
436
00:27:34,754 --> 00:27:38,952
[JAZZY MUSIC PLAYING
OVER SPEAKERS]
437
00:27:44,363 --> 00:27:46,194
John?
438
00:27:53,039 --> 00:27:55,234
- Hey.
- Come here.
439
00:28:03,416 --> 00:28:06,214
Totally outside the lines.
440
00:28:14,160 --> 00:28:17,527
Well, send it to Smith Jerrod
at the office address.
441
00:28:17,997 --> 00:28:20,329
I gotta go. Something just came up.
442
00:28:22,435 --> 00:28:26,337
- I got a gift for you.
- So far, I like it.
443
00:28:34,814 --> 00:28:36,145
How'd...?
444
00:28:36,716 --> 00:28:39,844
Wait. That was you on the phone
at the auction.
445
00:28:40,019 --> 00:28:44,149
- I knew how much you wanted it.
- But I was gonna buy it for myself.
446
00:28:44,557 --> 00:28:46,388
Well, I wanted to give it to you.
447
00:28:47,259 --> 00:28:49,386
For our anniversary.
448
00:28:49,562 --> 00:28:51,553
We met five years ago today.
449
00:28:53,065 --> 00:28:54,430
Right.
450
00:28:55,501 --> 00:28:56,832
Do you like it?
451
00:28:57,003 --> 00:28:59,904
Well, just to be clear,
this is a ring with diamonds...
452
00:29:00,072 --> 00:29:02,836
...it's not a diamond ring, right?
- Yeah.
453
00:29:04,110 --> 00:29:06,135
Well, in that case, I love it.
454
00:29:06,312 --> 00:29:09,679
It's my second favorite thing
I've ever found in there.
455
00:29:11,417 --> 00:29:16,081
Now, my gift is a little bit more oral.
456
00:29:17,523 --> 00:29:22,426
- Babe, I have to go to bed.
- Bed? It's 7:30.
457
00:29:22,595 --> 00:29:26,292
I have to be at the studio by 6 a.m.
and I need to get a workout in before that.
458
00:29:26,465 --> 00:29:28,126
You see, this is how it starts.
459
00:29:28,300 --> 00:29:32,634
Next thing you know, we're only
having sex three or four times a week.
460
00:29:42,515 --> 00:29:45,712
[WOMAN MOANING]
461
00:30:02,635 --> 00:30:06,594
And that is how Samantha learned
she had a new neighbor.
462
00:30:07,506 --> 00:30:10,407
From then on, night after night...
463
00:30:10,576 --> 00:30:13,136
... while Smith got his beauty sleep...
464
00:30:15,081 --> 00:30:19,848
... Samantha found something
more interesting to watch than TiVo.
465
00:30:24,023 --> 00:30:26,821
- Keep going.
- Okay.
466
00:30:27,893 --> 00:30:30,020
- Keep them closed.
- Okay.
467
00:30:31,497 --> 00:30:34,830
Okay. Open them.
468
00:30:37,169 --> 00:30:39,194
Double doors.
469
00:30:39,371 --> 00:30:41,805
So far, so good.
470
00:30:52,184 --> 00:30:54,311
Oh, my God.
471
00:30:57,590 --> 00:31:02,323
- Oh, you did me proud, mister.
- You like it?
472
00:31:03,729 --> 00:31:04,787
"Like it?"
473
00:31:09,635 --> 00:31:11,796
It's love at first sight.
474
00:31:11,971 --> 00:31:14,166
Oh, my.
475
00:31:14,340 --> 00:31:17,571
Here. Wait.
476
00:31:17,743 --> 00:31:19,267
Hold this.
477
00:31:27,019 --> 00:31:29,988
Now I believe this is all really happening.
478
00:31:30,823 --> 00:31:32,916
I can't believe it sold so fast.
479
00:31:33,092 --> 00:31:35,959
- It's a sign.
- Yeah, it's a sign I priced it too low.
480
00:31:36,128 --> 00:31:37,186
[BUZZER SOUNDS]
481
00:31:37,363 --> 00:31:40,730
Hey, that's the food. Will you buzz
them in? And money's on the table.
482
00:31:40,900 --> 00:31:44,233
I'm gonna get started on the closet.
I should be done in about 17 years.
483
00:31:44,403 --> 00:31:47,702
All right. Pink Post-it: take.
484
00:31:48,107 --> 00:31:51,167
Purple: toss. Yellow: storage.
485
00:31:51,343 --> 00:31:53,743
CARRIE:
Oh, you're very good friends.
486
00:31:53,913 --> 00:31:55,437
[KNOCKING ON DOOR]
487
00:31:59,685 --> 00:32:01,482
Oh, my God.
488
00:32:02,621 --> 00:32:03,781
[SCREAMS]
489
00:32:03,956 --> 00:32:07,255
CHARLOTTE: I can't believe it.
Lily, look who it is. Aunt Samantha.
490
00:32:08,494 --> 00:32:09,518
[GASPS]
491
00:32:09,695 --> 00:32:13,290
- What are you doing here?
- A lot of shit went down in this place.
492
00:32:13,465 --> 00:32:15,990
Attention must be paid.
493
00:32:16,569 --> 00:32:17,661
Ah.
494
00:32:17,837 --> 00:32:19,566
[SCREAMING]
495
00:32:19,738 --> 00:32:22,263
Really, champagne.
496
00:32:25,377 --> 00:32:29,211
[RUN-D.M.C.'S "WALK THIS WAY"
PLAYS OVER STEREO]
497
00:32:29,381 --> 00:32:31,281
- Remember this?
- Oh, yeah.
498
00:32:31,450 --> 00:32:34,749
While Samantha put on
The Best of the '80s...
499
00:32:36,188 --> 00:32:39,089
... I put on the worst.
500
00:32:46,265 --> 00:32:47,892
Banana clip.
501
00:32:51,670 --> 00:32:53,433
Yeah.
502
00:32:54,006 --> 00:32:55,633
SAMANTHA:
Work it.
503
00:32:57,877 --> 00:32:59,401
MIRANDA:
Madonna.
504
00:32:59,578 --> 00:33:02,775
Whoo, whoo!
505
00:33:11,790 --> 00:33:12,814
No fun.
506
00:33:31,043 --> 00:33:33,773
It took four friends three days...
507
00:33:33,946 --> 00:33:38,042
... to put 20 years into 38 boxes.
508
00:34:01,173 --> 00:34:03,300
While I run over
to see your mother tomorrow...
509
00:34:03,475 --> 00:34:06,410
...maybe you could take Brady
by the first birthday party alone.
510
00:34:06,578 --> 00:34:11,277
And then I'll meet you at the twins' party,
and you can leave and be at the bar by 6.
511
00:34:12,184 --> 00:34:13,583
What's the matter?
512
00:34:15,821 --> 00:34:18,255
I had sex with someone else.
513
00:34:21,160 --> 00:34:24,027
And you're so amazing...
514
00:34:24,663 --> 00:34:27,427
...and I don't know how
I could do that to you.
515
00:34:27,599 --> 00:34:31,330
You and I hadn't had sex
in a really long time and I...
516
00:34:31,503 --> 00:34:32,834
God.
517
00:34:33,339 --> 00:34:35,899
It didn't mean anything.
It just happened once.
518
00:34:36,075 --> 00:34:37,770
And it's been killing me.
519
00:34:39,878 --> 00:34:41,607
It's killing you?
520
00:34:41,780 --> 00:34:43,042
It just happened.
521
00:34:43,816 --> 00:34:46,512
I... I...
522
00:34:46,685 --> 00:34:48,516
I... I... I wasn't thinking.
523
00:34:48,821 --> 00:34:51,483
Do not follow me.
524
00:35:02,768 --> 00:35:04,793
Scout, off.
525
00:35:13,112 --> 00:35:15,478
Miranda, it's still me.
526
00:35:18,951 --> 00:35:20,578
Is it?
527
00:35:33,999 --> 00:35:36,832
Steve. I just... I can't believe it.
528
00:35:37,302 --> 00:35:39,463
- That's what I said.
MIRANDA: Yes, it's sad.
529
00:35:39,638 --> 00:35:42,732
But I'm not gonna make it any sadder
by staying at a bad hotel...
530
00:35:42,908 --> 00:35:45,775
...while I look for a place.
Could you pass the salt?
531
00:35:45,944 --> 00:35:48,344
Plus, I have to be downtown
and close to Brooklyn.
532
00:35:48,514 --> 00:35:51,347
We're gonna keep Brady's life
as normal as we possibly can.
533
00:35:51,517 --> 00:35:54,543
I'm gonna have him on my days
and Steve will have him on his...
534
00:35:54,720 --> 00:35:57,450
...and Magda will shuttle
back and forth between.
535
00:35:57,623 --> 00:36:00,615
Well, I don't really know
if this question is allowed...
536
00:36:00,793 --> 00:36:02,454
...but how is Steve handling this?
537
00:36:02,628 --> 00:36:05,563
Says he's devastated,
begs me to forgive him.
538
00:36:05,731 --> 00:36:08,325
It's not gonna happen.
I can barely even look at him.
539
00:36:08,500 --> 00:36:10,627
Miranda, honey,
are you sure you wanna do this?
540
00:36:11,136 --> 00:36:13,536
It's just one time.
Anyone can have a slip.
541
00:36:13,705 --> 00:36:17,801
Even if I could get my mind around that
justification, it's the cheating part.
542
00:36:18,243 --> 00:36:22,145
The behind-my-back part, the violation
of the trust. That's what's killing me.
543
00:36:31,356 --> 00:36:33,790
Thank you for being you.
544
00:36:36,995 --> 00:36:40,522
Charlotte made love to Harry
four times that week.
545
00:36:40,699 --> 00:36:44,032
Okay. Wedding crunch time.
We need to get really serious here.
546
00:36:45,404 --> 00:36:48,168
Okay, not now.
I just got an e-mail from our contractor.
547
00:36:48,340 --> 00:36:50,968
He's pushed the move-in date yet again.
548
00:36:51,143 --> 00:36:53,043
- I gotta write this guy and...
- No, no, no.
549
00:36:53,212 --> 00:36:57,012
No. Wedding before contractor, all right?
550
00:36:57,182 --> 00:37:01,881
Unless you're planning to invite him,
which would make the guest list 201.
551
00:37:03,622 --> 00:37:06,648
Two hundred?
Jesus, Carrie, it went up again?
552
00:37:06,825 --> 00:37:09,817
- It's the dress.
- You said 75 people.
553
00:37:10,996 --> 00:37:13,726
How can I explain this?
554
00:37:15,501 --> 00:37:17,093
Look...
555
00:37:17,569 --> 00:37:19,537
...you play poker, right?
556
00:37:19,705 --> 00:37:21,764
Well, the dress upped the ante.
557
00:37:23,909 --> 00:37:25,342
Hey.
558
00:37:27,079 --> 00:37:30,048
How you doing on your vows?
559
00:37:30,215 --> 00:37:34,879
A reminder. You'll be saying these in front
of a lot of people, so the pressure is on.
560
00:37:35,053 --> 00:37:36,953
All right, up. I have to finish this. Up.
561
00:37:37,122 --> 00:37:38,783
- Hey.
- I don't have time for this.
562
00:37:38,957 --> 00:37:43,417
- You're not taking it seriously.
- No, no, I'm not. It is a circus.
563
00:37:48,100 --> 00:37:49,965
Two hundred people?
564
00:37:50,135 --> 00:37:52,399
Page Six?
565
00:37:56,008 --> 00:38:00,638
This is my third marriage.
How do you think that makes me look?
566
00:38:08,187 --> 00:38:12,248
I didn't know that was even an issue.
567
00:38:17,129 --> 00:38:19,290
So why didn't you say anything sooner?
568
00:38:20,199 --> 00:38:23,930
- You wanted all of this.
- Well, yeah.
569
00:38:24,436 --> 00:38:26,666
- But don't you want...?
- I want you.
570
00:38:26,972 --> 00:38:28,462
That's what I want.
571
00:38:30,309 --> 00:38:33,073
I could have just gone down to city hall.
572
00:38:52,864 --> 00:38:55,697
I think it's too late for city hall now.
573
00:38:56,902 --> 00:38:59,894
Well, no, I wasn't suggesting that...
574
00:39:00,072 --> 00:39:01,369
I was just saying.
575
00:39:04,243 --> 00:39:07,144
See, that's the face...
576
00:39:07,312 --> 00:39:10,372
...I've been trying to avoid.
577
00:39:11,250 --> 00:39:12,979
Come here.
578
00:39:19,424 --> 00:39:22,222
You're a great man-friend.
579
00:39:25,097 --> 00:39:29,557
And soon,
it was the night before the big day.
580
00:39:32,604 --> 00:39:34,629
There they are.
581
00:39:42,714 --> 00:39:45,410
[CHATTERING]
582
00:39:52,791 --> 00:39:55,760
SAMANTHA: Now, I know it's tradition
at the rehearsal dinner...
583
00:39:55,927 --> 00:40:00,728
...for the maid of honor to reveal
embarrassing things about the bride.
584
00:40:02,434 --> 00:40:05,767
But in our group, we never kiss and tell.
585
00:40:07,072 --> 00:40:11,065
- So I'd like to make a toast to the groom.
- There's a word he's heard before.
586
00:40:14,780 --> 00:40:17,408
- Who's that guy again?
- Karl. He's a partner at the firm.
587
00:40:17,582 --> 00:40:18,606
Karl's kind of a jerk.
588
00:40:18,784 --> 00:40:20,843
You know what they say,
three time's a charm.
589
00:40:21,019 --> 00:40:23,249
Hey, dickwad, I'm speaking.
590
00:40:25,724 --> 00:40:28,591
- Yeah, Samantha.
- Yeah.
591
00:40:30,929 --> 00:40:35,366
Now, there were times when we had
our doubts about this gorgeous man.
592
00:40:35,534 --> 00:40:39,994
But after careful observation
over the last hundred years...
593
00:40:40,172 --> 00:40:42,299
...my doubts are over.
594
00:40:42,474 --> 00:40:45,466
So here's to the groom...
595
00:40:45,644 --> 00:40:48,977
...a man who finally got "Carrie-d" away.
596
00:40:49,147 --> 00:40:51,206
PEOPLE:
Aww.
597
00:40:51,383 --> 00:40:52,645
Here's hoping, John.
598
00:40:52,951 --> 00:40:55,078
That is a jackass. Here.
599
00:40:55,253 --> 00:40:57,153
- Cheers.
- That was really nice. Thank you.
600
00:40:57,322 --> 00:40:59,449
HARRY: There's nothing like
an illegal Cuban cigar...
601
00:40:59,624 --> 00:41:02,184
...after dinner, huh?
SAMANTHA: Exactly.
602
00:41:02,361 --> 00:41:04,454
So that was quite a toast, Samantha.
603
00:41:04,629 --> 00:41:05,891
Well, you're quite a guy.
604
00:41:06,098 --> 00:41:08,692
WOMAN: Oh, my God, there's a cab.
MAN: Oh, yeah.
605
00:41:11,937 --> 00:41:13,063
Steve.
606
00:41:13,772 --> 00:41:17,469
- I don't wanna bother you all.
- You're not bothering us.
607
00:41:18,910 --> 00:41:20,571
But...
608
00:41:21,246 --> 00:41:23,874
...I need to talk to Miranda.
609
00:41:24,483 --> 00:41:26,974
Samantha, could you ask her
to come out?
610
00:41:27,152 --> 00:41:29,450
I don't wanna go in. It's a party and all.
611
00:41:30,389 --> 00:41:31,754
Sure.
612
00:41:36,128 --> 00:41:39,461
Hey. I haven't talked to you all night.
613
00:41:39,631 --> 00:41:41,189
Steve's here.
614
00:41:45,003 --> 00:41:47,767
They're not poodles.
You know what I mean.
615
00:41:48,340 --> 00:41:52,174
Hey, guys. Would you give us?
616
00:41:52,677 --> 00:41:54,907
MAN:
Yeah, sure, going in.
617
00:41:58,150 --> 00:41:59,913
You're all right?
618
00:42:07,692 --> 00:42:11,526
You didn't leave me any choice.
You won't return my calls.
619
00:42:11,696 --> 00:42:14,756
You only talk to me in front of the baby
and I can't say anything.
620
00:42:14,933 --> 00:42:18,300
What could you possibly have to say
that could make it any better?
621
00:42:18,770 --> 00:42:23,867
- Please. It was just that one time.
- You broke us!
622
00:42:24,042 --> 00:42:26,977
You broke us. What we had is broken.
623
00:42:28,647 --> 00:42:30,308
WOMAN:
What the fuck is happening?
624
00:42:30,482 --> 00:42:32,814
[WOMEN LAUGHING]
625
00:42:37,556 --> 00:42:40,286
I changed who I was for you.
626
00:42:46,932 --> 00:42:48,399
Hey.
627
00:42:49,468 --> 00:42:52,437
- Are you all right?
- No, I'm not all right.
628
00:42:53,004 --> 00:42:57,873
You two are crazy to get married.
Marriage ruins everything.
629
00:43:08,620 --> 00:43:13,421
Hey. There you are.
I thought you'd skipped out on me.
630
00:43:13,592 --> 00:43:14,718
No.
631
00:43:14,893 --> 00:43:17,760
Well, the all-gal sleepover's
about to commence.
632
00:43:23,635 --> 00:43:26,263
Hey, is everything okay?
633
00:43:26,438 --> 00:43:28,998
Yeah. I'm just tired, I guess.
634
00:43:29,174 --> 00:43:31,472
All right. Well, go home and go to sleep.
635
00:43:31,643 --> 00:43:34,612
But first give me a kiss good night
and make it a good one...
636
00:43:34,880 --> 00:43:39,180
...because it's the last single-girl kiss.
637
00:43:41,620 --> 00:43:45,647
- I always knew she would marry Big.
- Oh, you did not.
638
00:43:45,824 --> 00:43:48,156
- That's crazy.
- Yes, I did.
639
00:43:48,326 --> 00:43:52,695
After every breakup I secretly thought,
"Nope. They belong together."
640
00:43:52,864 --> 00:43:54,798
You thought that
after the second breakup?
641
00:43:54,966 --> 00:43:56,661
- Yup.
- After the fifteenth?
642
00:43:56,835 --> 00:43:59,804
Ha-ha. That's hilarious.
We broke up a lot.
643
00:43:59,971 --> 00:44:03,498
Yeah, but after the breakups
comes the hot make-up sex.
644
00:44:03,875 --> 00:44:06,241
[PHONE RINGING]
645
00:44:06,578 --> 00:44:10,036
Hey, you wanna get that? Open up.
646
00:44:11,116 --> 00:44:12,777
- Now say something.
- Sex.
647
00:44:17,122 --> 00:44:19,590
Are you sure she's not my child?
648
00:44:20,258 --> 00:44:22,419
- Hello?
- It's me.
649
00:44:22,594 --> 00:44:24,994
Oh, my God, did you just hear Lily?
650
00:44:25,163 --> 00:44:27,927
- I need to talk.
- What?
651
00:44:28,099 --> 00:44:33,765
I'm sitting here
trying to write these vows and...
652
00:44:34,906 --> 00:44:37,204
Is this something we really wanna do?
653
00:44:38,543 --> 00:44:41,979
Hey, you know what? You guys, it's Big.
I'm gonna... I'm gonna take it.
654
00:44:42,781 --> 00:44:46,114
Get some sleep, groomie.
655
00:44:50,121 --> 00:44:53,090
- What's the matter?
- It's just...
656
00:44:53,425 --> 00:44:56,656
...everything is great as it is.
657
00:44:57,562 --> 00:45:00,395
- I don't wanna screw it up.
- You won't.
658
00:45:00,565 --> 00:45:02,863
I screwed it up twice before.
659
00:45:04,135 --> 00:45:05,830
Here's the thing.
660
00:45:06,338 --> 00:45:11,708
This is me you're marrying tomorrow.
Me. It's nobody else.
661
00:45:12,611 --> 00:45:15,842
- Yeah?
- And I'm marrying you.
662
00:45:16,014 --> 00:45:17,538
It's me and you.
663
00:45:17,949 --> 00:45:20,884
And do you wanna hear
the great news there?
664
00:45:21,052 --> 00:45:22,076
Yeah.
665
00:45:22,253 --> 00:45:25,086
We've both already done
everything we can to screw it up.
666
00:45:26,825 --> 00:45:30,454
- Is that a smile I'm hearing?
- Yeah.
667
00:45:30,629 --> 00:45:35,066
It sounds to me like you've got
a bit of writer's block on the vow front.
668
00:45:35,233 --> 00:45:36,359
Yeah.
669
00:45:36,534 --> 00:45:39,401
And I find, you know,
as a professional writer...
670
00:45:39,571 --> 00:45:43,473
...that it's best to just, you know...
671
00:45:43,642 --> 00:45:47,271
...just stop thinking about it so much
and go to bed.
672
00:45:47,445 --> 00:45:49,504
And in the morning...
673
00:45:49,681 --> 00:45:52,912
- You'll know what to do.
- Exactly.
674
00:45:53,084 --> 00:45:56,212
And if not, then just write this:
675
00:45:56,388 --> 00:45:58,015
I will love you.
676
00:45:58,189 --> 00:46:00,282
Simple, to the point...
677
00:46:00,458 --> 00:46:04,758
...and I swear I won't even
try to take credit for it.
678
00:46:06,698 --> 00:46:09,189
So you're gonna go to bed now, right?
679
00:46:10,001 --> 00:46:13,562
Okay. Good night.
680
00:46:13,738 --> 00:46:16,798
I'll see you tomorrow. And hey...
681
00:46:18,009 --> 00:46:20,102
...it's me and you.
682
00:46:54,079 --> 00:46:55,774
Now, there's a bride.
683
00:47:01,853 --> 00:47:03,980
ANTHONY: Before we leave, we're gonna
pick up our flowers, right, girls?
684
00:47:04,155 --> 00:47:05,383
[PHONE RINGING]
685
00:47:05,557 --> 00:47:08,424
Miranda, you're gonna have the dahlias.
Samantha, you have the roses.
686
00:47:08,593 --> 00:47:12,256
- And Charlotte...
CHARLOTTE: We can take care of it.
687
00:47:13,465 --> 00:47:15,160
Hello?
688
00:47:15,967 --> 00:47:18,731
Could you put Carrie
on the phone, please?
689
00:47:20,271 --> 00:47:21,533
Hello?
690
00:47:27,345 --> 00:47:30,280
ANTHONY: Who let the dogs out?
Get these dogs out of here!
691
00:47:30,448 --> 00:47:34,111
That's all we need is the lift of a leg
on the train of a dress.
692
00:47:34,285 --> 00:47:36,651
ANTHONY:
Could you open this door, please?
693
00:47:36,821 --> 00:47:39,688
- Wait, wait, hold it.
WOMAN: I'm trying to find out...
694
00:47:39,858 --> 00:47:41,155
- Oh, my God.
ANTHONY: Hey.
695
00:47:41,326 --> 00:47:43,521
- The girls are in this car.
- All of us together?
696
00:47:43,695 --> 00:47:46,664
All of you together.
Okay? Come on, lift it up. Let's go.
697
00:47:46,831 --> 00:47:48,696
CARRIE [ON RECORDING]:
Hey, it's Carrie. Leave me a message.
698
00:47:48,867 --> 00:47:52,860
- See you then. Bye-bye.
WOMAN: Just so beautiful.
699
00:47:57,575 --> 00:47:58,701
ANTHONY: Blue.
MIRANDA: Yes, sir.
700
00:47:58,877 --> 00:48:02,176
- Red and black.
CHARLOTTE: Okay, I'll see you there.
701
00:48:02,347 --> 00:48:04,440
- Where's black?
- Oh, I'm coming, I'm coming.
702
00:48:04,616 --> 00:48:06,550
- You're following the red.
- I'm coming.
703
00:48:06,718 --> 00:48:09,186
Okay. Come on. Let's go.
704
00:48:09,354 --> 00:48:11,515
- Ready?
- Yeah, okay, you're in.
705
00:48:11,689 --> 00:48:12,883
Okay.
706
00:48:13,057 --> 00:48:17,153
There's the bride. Look, she's dressed
like a princess, do you see?
707
00:48:17,328 --> 00:48:19,387
- Can you hold that?
- Oh, yes.
708
00:48:19,564 --> 00:48:20,997
Thank you. Okay.
709
00:48:21,666 --> 00:48:23,600
MIRANDA:
Come on, scootch over.
710
00:48:26,070 --> 00:48:29,130
ANTHONY: It's like pushing a cream puff
through a keyhole.
711
00:48:29,307 --> 00:48:30,501
See you at the library.
712
00:48:30,675 --> 00:48:34,111
- Hey, it's Carrie. Leave me a message.
- Why haven't you called me back?
713
00:48:34,279 --> 00:48:37,942
Look, I really need to talk to you.
Call me as soon as you get this.
714
00:48:40,418 --> 00:48:44,821
No more wedding guests on these stairs,
understand? Bridal party only.
715
00:48:46,291 --> 00:48:48,725
We've got a problem. They're not here.
716
00:48:48,893 --> 00:48:51,691
- They're probably stuck in traffic.
- Both of them?
717
00:48:57,969 --> 00:49:02,929
- Hey, it's Carrie. Leave me a message.
- I can't go in without you.
718
00:49:04,576 --> 00:49:06,168
Baby...
719
00:49:07,679 --> 00:49:12,582
...this whole bride-and-groom thing
has really got me thrown.
720
00:49:17,222 --> 00:49:20,055
I need to know that it's still us.
721
00:49:20,225 --> 00:49:24,218
Just you and me. Like you said.
722
00:49:29,500 --> 00:49:31,297
CARRIE: I was putting it on.
CHARLOTTE: I know.
723
00:49:31,469 --> 00:49:32,834
Good job. Beautiful.
724
00:49:34,205 --> 00:49:37,436
Come on, baby.
Turn around, let me see you.
725
00:49:40,144 --> 00:49:42,806
MIRANDA:
You look so beautiful.
726
00:49:50,021 --> 00:49:51,784
[CLASSICAL MUSIC PLAYING]
727
00:49:51,956 --> 00:49:53,116
MIRANDA:
It looks beautiful.
728
00:49:53,291 --> 00:49:55,156
CHARLOTTE:
It really does. It looks so beautiful.
729
00:49:56,194 --> 00:49:57,718
Oh, look at mommy, here they come.
730
00:49:57,896 --> 00:49:59,158
SAMANTHA: Easy does it.
MIRANDA: We're here.
731
00:49:59,330 --> 00:50:02,424
The traffic was the worst.
57th Street was just...
732
00:50:02,600 --> 00:50:06,468
- It's okay.
CHARLOTTE: Hello. You guys look great.
733
00:50:09,908 --> 00:50:12,536
SAMANTHA:
Ready. We're ready.
734
00:50:14,078 --> 00:50:15,841
He's not here.
735
00:50:16,414 --> 00:50:18,143
- Who's not here?
- The groom.
736
00:50:18,917 --> 00:50:19,941
What's happening?
737
00:50:21,619 --> 00:50:25,749
- Big's not here.
- But we're 25 minutes late.
738
00:50:25,924 --> 00:50:28,051
Well, did anybody call him?
739
00:50:31,296 --> 00:50:34,788
Well, give me a phone.
Somebody give me a phone.
740
00:50:38,970 --> 00:50:41,905
- All right, I don't know how to work this.
- Here, sweetie.
741
00:50:42,073 --> 00:50:43,631
Thank you.
742
00:50:54,218 --> 00:50:57,881
MIRANDA: Hey, you know what?
Let me just look at your tie for a minute.
743
00:50:58,089 --> 00:50:59,920
BIG: Hello.
- Are you okay?
744
00:51:00,091 --> 00:51:01,490
I've been calling for an hour.
745
00:51:01,659 --> 00:51:05,151
- Why haven't you been answering?
- Because I don't know where my phone is.
746
00:51:06,631 --> 00:51:08,394
So, what's going on? Where are you?
747
00:51:08,833 --> 00:51:12,064
I was out front. I just left.
748
00:51:15,740 --> 00:51:17,367
I can't do this.
749
00:51:22,613 --> 00:51:24,376
Oh, my God.
750
00:51:28,886 --> 00:51:31,081
Carrie? Carrie.
751
00:51:34,359 --> 00:51:38,352
- He's not coming. Oh, my God.
- What do you mean, "He's not coming"?
752
00:51:41,299 --> 00:51:43,199
Get me out of here.
753
00:51:43,368 --> 00:51:44,926
- Get me out of here!
- Go, go, go.
754
00:51:45,103 --> 00:51:48,231
- You take her, I'll take care of all of this.
MIRANDA: All right, all right.
755
00:51:48,406 --> 00:51:49,839
Here we go.
756
00:52:11,662 --> 00:52:14,062
What the fuck am I doing?
Turn around, go back.
757
00:52:14,232 --> 00:52:15,756
It's a one-way street.
758
00:52:15,933 --> 00:52:18,561
By the time we go around the block,
she'll be gone.
759
00:52:18,736 --> 00:52:21,034
There's no one behind us. Turn around.
760
00:52:28,746 --> 00:52:31,738
- I think this is them.
- Pull over. Pull over.
761
00:52:33,184 --> 00:52:34,742
Carrie.
762
00:52:41,893 --> 00:52:45,852
Carrie. I freaked out for a minute,
but I'm ready now.
763
00:52:48,199 --> 00:52:50,224
BIG:
Oh, God.
764
00:52:52,437 --> 00:52:55,736
CARRIE: I knew
you would do this! I knew it!
765
00:52:55,907 --> 00:52:58,876
- Carrie, I'm sorry.
- I am humiliated!
766
00:52:59,043 --> 00:53:01,637
I'm sorry. I'm... I'm sorry, Carrie.
767
00:53:01,813 --> 00:53:02,905
Come on. Come on.
768
00:53:03,081 --> 00:53:04,105
[CARRIE SOBBING]
769
00:53:04,282 --> 00:53:08,048
- Carrie, wait, I'm sorry. Carrie...
- No! No!
770
00:53:09,353 --> 00:53:11,082
CHARLOTTE:
Come on, we're gonna get in the car.
771
00:53:11,989 --> 00:53:14,321
MIRANDA:
It's all right, it's all right.
772
00:53:34,479 --> 00:53:35,969
[HORN HONKING]
773
00:53:36,147 --> 00:53:37,671
Let's go, man. Move it.
774
00:54:06,611 --> 00:54:09,637
I thought I would still be in extreme pain.
775
00:54:12,850 --> 00:54:14,818
I feel nothing.
776
00:54:17,588 --> 00:54:19,920
I'd like some more nothing.
777
00:54:25,897 --> 00:54:27,592
Yes, I'm still jilted.
778
00:54:29,567 --> 00:54:32,968
What the hell got into him?
He was perfectly fine at the dinner.
779
00:54:34,038 --> 00:54:36,529
CARRIE:
I knew it when he called last night.
780
00:54:37,074 --> 00:54:39,975
- I could tell.
- Then why didn't you say anything?
781
00:54:42,079 --> 00:54:44,912
I didn't wanna believe it. I di...
782
00:54:45,082 --> 00:54:48,313
I didn't even wanna say it out loud.
783
00:54:50,855 --> 00:54:53,949
- Now I have nowhere to live.
- You'll stay here.
784
00:54:54,125 --> 00:54:55,387
Forever.
785
00:54:56,494 --> 00:54:59,019
Maybe you should eat something.
786
00:55:00,198 --> 00:55:02,496
- Anyone? Hungry?
- No.
787
00:55:04,402 --> 00:55:07,565
I can never go back there again.
How am I gonna get my clothes?
788
00:55:07,738 --> 00:55:11,902
Oh, honey, I can hire people to do all that.
Anything you need.
789
00:55:12,643 --> 00:55:13,837
A hit man?
790
00:55:15,846 --> 00:55:18,713
I have nothing to wear
but a wedding gown.
791
00:55:19,483 --> 00:55:22,145
You have your honeymoon clothes here.
792
00:55:23,321 --> 00:55:25,653
Well, there's the silver lining.
793
00:55:27,558 --> 00:55:31,688
A honeymoon
at a romantic Mexican resort...
794
00:55:31,862 --> 00:55:33,796
...that's prepaid on my credit card...
795
00:55:33,965 --> 00:55:36,433
...because I wanted to surprise
the man who jilted me.
796
00:55:36,601 --> 00:55:38,262
SAMANTHA:
I can get you out of that.
797
00:55:38,436 --> 00:55:41,337
Worse comes to worse,
I'll say there was a death or something.
798
00:55:41,505 --> 00:55:43,234
Wasn't there?
799
00:55:46,911 --> 00:55:50,369
CHARLOTTE: Keep those eyes closed.
Keep them closed.
800
00:56:04,862 --> 00:56:05,988
Charlotte.
801
00:56:06,163 --> 00:56:07,960
[MOUTHS]
Come here. Come here.
802
00:56:11,002 --> 00:56:13,800
I did something really bad, I think.
803
00:56:14,505 --> 00:56:17,338
I said something to Big
at the rehearsal dinner.
804
00:56:18,876 --> 00:56:20,036
What do you mean?
805
00:56:20,211 --> 00:56:23,703
It was right after Steve showed up.
I was upset.
806
00:56:23,881 --> 00:56:27,612
Big came over to me,
and I said something like:
807
00:56:28,452 --> 00:56:30,511
"You're crazy to get married."
808
00:56:31,322 --> 00:56:33,222
It just came out.
809
00:56:33,391 --> 00:56:37,350
- Do you think it's totally the reason?
- No.
810
00:56:37,528 --> 00:56:40,520
Big has been weird
about marriage for years.
811
00:56:42,700 --> 00:56:46,192
- I keep thinking I should tell Carrie.
- No, no, no.
812
00:56:46,370 --> 00:56:49,669
This is a bad time to even mention it.
813
00:56:50,741 --> 00:56:55,474
No, no, no. Find another time later.
814
00:56:55,646 --> 00:56:56,635
Uh-huh.
815
00:56:56,814 --> 00:57:00,750
Well, it turns out, I couldn't get her
out of the honeymoon, but I got us in.
816
00:57:01,352 --> 00:57:04,651
- What?
- I just booked us three seats on the flight.
817
00:57:04,822 --> 00:57:07,518
Mexico, here we come.
818
00:57:07,892 --> 00:57:10,725
I can't go to Mexico. I have a job.
819
00:57:18,936 --> 00:57:21,928
SAMANTHA:
Jerrod. Smith Jerrod, with a J.
820
00:57:22,106 --> 00:57:25,974
That's right. Great, thank you.
821
00:57:27,311 --> 00:57:31,270
- Make sure that the car is there...
- We're here, I'll call you back later.
822
00:57:34,352 --> 00:57:35,376
Welcome to Mexico.
823
00:57:35,753 --> 00:57:37,948
[SAMANTHA SPEAKS IN SPANISH]
824
00:57:41,025 --> 00:57:42,583
Do you have wi-fi? Thanks.
825
00:57:46,330 --> 00:57:49,561
I'm sorry, I'm confused.
I'm waiting for a Mr. and Mrs. Preston.
826
00:57:49,734 --> 00:57:53,898
Honey, you'll be waiting a long time.
We'll talk.
827
00:58:00,344 --> 00:58:03,245
This will kill her.
828
00:58:05,182 --> 00:58:07,241
- Where is she?
- In the powder room.
829
00:58:07,418 --> 00:58:10,148
- Well, let's look around.
- Yeah.
830
00:58:40,384 --> 00:58:42,875
And this is a master suite.
831
00:58:44,288 --> 00:58:46,222
Oh, my God.
832
00:58:46,924 --> 00:58:48,585
Here.
833
00:58:48,759 --> 00:58:50,590
MIRANDA:
You get that side.
834
00:58:52,430 --> 00:58:54,591
CHARLOTTE:
Where are we gonna put these?
835
00:58:55,499 --> 00:58:59,560
Here. No more honeymoon stuff.
This is very important.
836
00:59:05,910 --> 00:59:07,673
Here she comes.
837
00:59:20,958 --> 00:59:22,687
It's going to be a gorgeous sunset.
838
00:59:24,895 --> 00:59:26,157
Close the shutters.
839
00:59:33,337 --> 00:59:34,599
All of them.
840
00:59:55,793 --> 00:59:57,420
Morning.
841
00:59:59,797 --> 01:00:01,287
Did I dream it?
842
01:00:15,246 --> 01:00:17,043
CHARLOTTE:
Carrie?
843
01:00:17,982 --> 01:00:20,610
It's dinnertime. You slept the whole day.
844
01:00:21,752 --> 01:00:23,379
So?
845
01:00:32,796 --> 01:00:35,060
[CLATTERING]
846
01:00:36,400 --> 01:00:40,837
Honey? You have to eat a little breakfast.
847
01:00:42,873 --> 01:00:44,033
I'm tired.
848
01:00:44,208 --> 01:00:47,644
Well, eat something,
then you can go back to sleep.
849
01:01:22,279 --> 01:01:24,611
- Oh, thank you, Paulo.
- Sure.
850
01:01:27,818 --> 01:01:32,687
With all this gorgeous fresh food, you're
gonna eat that pudding crap the entire trip?
851
01:01:32,856 --> 01:01:35,416
It's the only thing in the pantry
that's totally safe.
852
01:01:35,593 --> 01:01:39,359
See? "Made in Poughkeepsie."
I didn't wanna chance it.
853
01:01:39,530 --> 01:01:41,293
It's a five-star resort.
854
01:01:41,665 --> 01:01:43,656
It's Mexico.
855
01:01:52,142 --> 01:01:53,370
Carrie.
856
01:01:55,980 --> 01:01:57,072
Is there coffee?
857
01:01:58,148 --> 01:02:00,878
CHARLOTTE:
Yeah. Yeah, of course.
858
01:02:07,992 --> 01:02:10,392
The sun feels nice.
859
01:02:14,231 --> 01:02:16,358
Jesus, honey, wax much?
860
01:02:16,734 --> 01:02:19,703
What? I didn't know
I was gonna be wearing a bathing suit.
861
01:02:20,070 --> 01:02:22,834
- What are you talking about?
- I forgot to wax.
862
01:02:23,007 --> 01:02:26,773
- Since when, 1998?
MIRANDA: I've had other things on my mind.
863
01:02:26,944 --> 01:02:29,538
I could be on death row
and not have that situation.
864
01:02:29,713 --> 01:02:32,807
Well, when you're married,
you have a different set of priorities.
865
01:02:32,983 --> 01:02:34,575
SAMANTHA:
Oh, honey, don't blame marriage.
866
01:02:34,752 --> 01:02:37,619
This one's married and
she's not growing a national forest.
867
01:02:37,788 --> 01:02:41,690
How do you even cross your legs?
Let me make you a spa appointment.
868
01:02:41,859 --> 01:02:44,453
Any thicker,
and you won't be able to find it.
869
01:02:46,797 --> 01:02:48,765
So, what, it's my fault?
870
01:02:48,932 --> 01:02:52,060
I let the sex go out of my marriage.
I deserve what I got?
871
01:02:52,236 --> 01:02:55,933
- Thanks for understanding.
- Honey, I'm sorry. That's not what I...
872
01:02:56,106 --> 01:02:57,733
I'm fine.
873
01:03:09,053 --> 01:03:11,681
Hey, let's go down to the hotel
for dinner tonight.
874
01:03:11,855 --> 01:03:13,618
- Really?
- Yeah.
875
01:03:13,791 --> 01:03:16,487
I gotta do something
to pull me out of my "Mexi-coma."
876
01:03:16,660 --> 01:03:19,254
Oh, honey, you made a little joke.
877
01:03:19,430 --> 01:03:21,364
Good for you.
878
01:03:22,199 --> 01:03:23,564
Yeah.
879
01:03:35,546 --> 01:03:37,980
[MARIACHI BAND PLAYING]
880
01:03:38,148 --> 01:03:39,547
[SPEAKS IN SPANISH]
881
01:03:39,717 --> 01:03:43,847
- My name is Felix, I'll be your server.
- Felix, we'll start with cuatro margaritas.
882
01:03:44,021 --> 01:03:46,251
Oh, no, I'm not drinking.
Just bottled water.
883
01:03:46,423 --> 01:03:48,653
- I'll drink hers.
- May I have your room numbers?
884
01:03:50,094 --> 01:03:54,030
We're staying in one of the private houses.
Uh, number 3.
885
01:03:54,631 --> 01:03:55,791
Very good, Mrs. Preston.
886
01:04:00,637 --> 01:04:02,298
That was like taking a bullet.
887
01:04:07,544 --> 01:04:10,308
Charlotte has pudding in her Prada.
888
01:04:16,653 --> 01:04:19,121
- Will I ever laugh again?
- Yes.
889
01:04:19,289 --> 01:04:22,986
- When?
- When something is really, really funny.
890
01:04:25,963 --> 01:04:29,763
Thank God for that mariachi band
or I'd be able to hear my own thoughts.
891
01:04:31,301 --> 01:04:33,701
Fabulous. And keep them coming.
892
01:04:35,339 --> 01:04:36,704
Thanks.
893
01:04:42,446 --> 01:04:43,879
Thank you.
894
01:04:49,920 --> 01:04:52,650
He couldn't get out of the car.
895
01:04:53,123 --> 01:04:56,559
After 10 years
of what he already put me through...
896
01:04:56,727 --> 01:05:00,891
...he couldn't make the effort
and get out of the car.
897
01:05:01,198 --> 01:05:03,029
I made the effort.
898
01:05:03,200 --> 01:05:04,997
I put a bird on my head.
899
01:05:05,169 --> 01:05:06,693
- Is that what that was?
- Yeah.
900
01:05:06,870 --> 01:05:09,395
- I thought it was feathers.
- It was a bird.
901
01:05:09,573 --> 01:05:12,906
- It was beautiful.
SAMANTHA: Beautiful.
902
01:05:13,310 --> 01:05:15,437
He's a bad guy.
903
01:05:16,513 --> 01:05:18,708
Always was.
904
01:05:18,882 --> 01:05:22,784
- Bad guys do bad things.
- And good guys do bad things.
905
01:05:22,953 --> 01:05:25,888
The good guys screw you
and the bad guys screw you.
906
01:05:26,056 --> 01:05:28,192
The rest of them
don't know how to screw you.
907
01:05:28,292 --> 01:05:31,420
- Trust me, I've done the legwork.
CARRIE: After everything I know...
908
01:05:31,595 --> 01:05:35,998
...after 20 years of
everything we've learned...
909
01:05:36,166 --> 01:05:40,068
...I threw it all away for the thrill of
putting his name on the honeymoon suite.
910
01:05:41,538 --> 01:05:43,802
If I met me now, I wouldn't know me.
911
01:05:45,275 --> 01:05:47,743
As long as we're going down this road...
912
01:05:47,911 --> 01:05:52,371
...I can't believe
that my life revolves around a man.
913
01:05:52,549 --> 01:05:54,881
On what planet
did I allow that to happen?
914
01:05:55,052 --> 01:05:56,110
But you love him.
915
01:05:56,286 --> 01:05:59,983
Does that mean saying his name
50 times more a day than I say my own?
916
01:06:00,724 --> 01:06:04,558
Does it mean worrying about him
and his needs before me and mine?
917
01:06:04,728 --> 01:06:07,094
Is it all about the other person?
Is that love?
918
01:06:07,264 --> 01:06:10,631
- No, that's marriage.
- Even this ring.
919
01:06:10,801 --> 01:06:12,291
I wanted to buy this for myself.
920
01:06:12,469 --> 01:06:14,733
That meant something to me,
to be able to do that.
921
01:06:14,905 --> 01:06:18,500
- And then he buys it for me.
- Because he knew how much you loved it.
922
01:06:18,675 --> 01:06:22,611
Yes, but now every time I look down at it,
I see him not me.
923
01:06:24,948 --> 01:06:27,473
- Is every...?
- We'll take another round.
924
01:06:27,784 --> 01:06:30,810
- Another?
- Relax. We're on vacation.
925
01:06:30,988 --> 01:06:32,751
Technically, we're on my honeymoon.
926
01:06:32,923 --> 01:06:35,824
No, I think we're on their honeymoon.
927
01:06:37,361 --> 01:06:39,761
Yeah, it's all so hot three days in.
928
01:06:41,096 --> 01:06:44,588
"Mailbox full." Yeah, I'll bet it is.
929
01:06:44,766 --> 01:06:47,064
- There's no time like the present.
CARRIE: No.
930
01:06:47,969 --> 01:06:49,800
I'm not ready to face it all yet.
931
01:06:50,538 --> 01:06:53,769
Hey. I'm going for a run
and then to the gym for Pilates.
932
01:06:53,942 --> 01:06:55,967
Anybody wanna...?
933
01:06:57,245 --> 01:06:59,509
- Hi.
- Hey, good news.
934
01:06:59,681 --> 01:07:01,740
I got an e-mail
from your buyer's attorney.
935
01:07:01,916 --> 01:07:05,511
They're willing to sell you back
your old apartment at the escalated price...
936
01:07:05,687 --> 01:07:08,554
...and "are willing to vacate
by the time you return...
937
01:07:08,723 --> 01:07:10,748
...pending an additional financial offer."
938
01:07:10,925 --> 01:07:14,588
Well, apparently you can go home again,
but it'll cost you.
939
01:07:14,762 --> 01:07:17,458
- Let's work on getting your things there.
CARRIE: Wow...
940
01:07:17,866 --> 01:07:20,528
...you two could rule the world.
941
01:07:21,236 --> 01:07:23,761
After her workout,
Charlotte couldn't help but think...
942
01:07:23,938 --> 01:07:25,838
... how truly blessed she was.
943
01:07:26,007 --> 01:07:29,738
This week had made her feel more grateful
than ever for her happy marriage.
944
01:07:29,911 --> 01:07:34,211
And just for a second, while picturing
her loved ones at home in New York...
945
01:07:34,382 --> 01:07:38,580
... she forgot where she was
and opened her mouth.
946
01:07:46,294 --> 01:07:48,956
[STOMACH GRUMBLING]
947
01:08:00,975 --> 01:08:01,999
Hello, miss.
948
01:08:06,181 --> 01:08:08,376
- Have you had that happen?
CARRIE: Not recently.
949
01:08:08,550 --> 01:08:10,279
Sweetie, what's...?
950
01:08:10,451 --> 01:08:12,351
It's locked, she's mopping.
951
01:08:12,520 --> 01:08:14,112
Try the...
952
01:08:14,289 --> 01:08:17,190
[GRUMBLING CONTINUES]
953
01:08:20,128 --> 01:08:21,925
[SQUISHING]
954
01:08:22,997 --> 01:08:25,397
- Did you just...?
- Shut up, shut up, shut up!
955
01:08:25,567 --> 01:08:27,558
And just like that...
956
01:08:27,735 --> 01:08:29,794
... Charlotte "Poughkeepsied"
in her pants.
957
01:08:29,971 --> 01:08:31,836
[LAUGHING]
958
01:08:32,006 --> 01:08:35,533
Oh, my God.
959
01:08:39,047 --> 01:08:40,378
Miranda was right.
960
01:08:40,548 --> 01:08:45,417
When something was really,
really funny, I laughed.
961
01:08:46,454 --> 01:08:48,388
Oh, my God.
962
01:09:13,181 --> 01:09:14,546
COMPUTERIZED VOICE:
First message:
963
01:09:14,716 --> 01:09:19,813
Received Saturday,
September 20th, 12:30 p.m.
964
01:09:19,988 --> 01:09:23,424
BIG [ON RECORDING]: Carrie, call me.
I need to talk to you before...
965
01:10:15,443 --> 01:10:19,311
There was no better time I could think of
to hire an assistant.
966
01:10:19,480 --> 01:10:22,938
Um, no. I do not lift boxes.
967
01:10:23,951 --> 01:10:28,183
Yeah, definitely, no.
I would love a career in fashion.
968
01:10:28,356 --> 01:10:30,324
Oh.
969
01:10:31,359 --> 01:10:33,224
This is not nonfat.
970
01:10:33,561 --> 01:10:34,994
Oh.
971
01:10:35,163 --> 01:10:39,190
I love your books. Your shit's brilliant.
972
01:10:39,367 --> 01:10:40,959
Cathy?
973
01:10:41,969 --> 01:10:44,665
- You seem drunk.
- Little bit.
974
01:10:44,839 --> 01:10:46,670
Never made it to bed last night.
975
01:10:46,841 --> 01:10:49,207
But I type like a motherfucker!
976
01:10:49,377 --> 01:10:51,368
I have a degree in finance
from Princeton...
977
01:10:51,546 --> 01:10:54,208
...and I've been assistant to a V.P.
at Merrill Lynch.
978
01:10:54,382 --> 01:10:59,513
That's impressive. And, Paul,
why do you think you're right for this job?
979
01:11:07,328 --> 01:11:11,992
- So you're from St. Louis?
- That's right. Louise from St. Louis.
980
01:11:12,166 --> 01:11:14,066
And you have a degree
in computer science?
981
01:11:14,235 --> 01:11:17,227
- Yes, that's correct.
- Well, good for you. I can barely text.
982
01:11:19,273 --> 01:11:22,970
- Have you ever been a personal assistant?
- No, but I'm the oldest of six kids...
983
01:11:23,144 --> 01:11:25,339
...so I'm sure I can handle
anything you got.
984
01:11:25,513 --> 01:11:28,346
- Wow. Six kids, what's that like?
- Crowded.
985
01:11:28,783 --> 01:11:31,911
I had to move to New York just to
get some room. Where did I end up?
986
01:11:32,086 --> 01:11:34,714
In a one-bedroom apartment
with three roommates.
987
01:11:35,223 --> 01:11:38,386
Well, aside from the space issue,
why'd you move to New York?
988
01:11:40,328 --> 01:11:41,590
To fall in love.
989
01:11:43,131 --> 01:11:46,498
- What? That's corny, right?
- No.
990
01:11:46,667 --> 01:11:50,626
No, no, it's... It's just very honest.
991
01:11:51,672 --> 01:11:55,870
I don't think that I've heard
anybody say that in a very long time.
992
01:11:56,411 --> 01:11:57,742
Well...
993
01:11:59,680 --> 01:12:03,013
So Louise from St. Louis,
I just have one more question.
994
01:12:03,184 --> 01:12:04,208
Okay.
995
01:12:04,419 --> 01:12:06,751
How does an unemployed girl
with three roommates...
996
01:12:06,921 --> 01:12:09,446
...afford the Patchwork Denim Bowley
Louis Vuitton bag?
997
01:12:09,824 --> 01:12:14,227
It's rented. Bag Borrow or Steal?
It's like Netflix for purses.
998
01:12:14,395 --> 01:12:18,161
- How can I not know about this?
- Girl, stick with me. I'll hook you up.
999
01:12:23,171 --> 01:12:26,231
And did she hook me up.
1000
01:12:26,774 --> 01:12:30,767
Hi. This is Louise.
I'm calling for Carrie Bradshaw.
1001
01:12:31,412 --> 01:12:35,473
Yes, she received your invitation,
but she will be unable to attend.
1002
01:12:35,650 --> 01:12:37,277
Thank you.
1003
01:12:41,355 --> 01:12:43,414
LOUISE:
Put that over there.
1004
01:12:44,525 --> 01:12:46,390
After only three days...
1005
01:12:46,561 --> 01:12:51,191
... I began to think of her
as Saint Louise from St. Louis.
1006
01:12:51,933 --> 01:12:54,128
Ain't nothing in there for you.
1007
01:12:55,036 --> 01:12:58,130
And as I moved back
into my old apartment...
1008
01:12:58,306 --> 01:13:01,275
... Miranda searched for a new one,
downtown.
1009
01:13:01,442 --> 01:13:04,411
MIRANDA: You see the Chinese writing?
BRADY: Yeah.
1010
01:13:04,579 --> 01:13:07,810
New York magazine says this is
the new up-and-coming neighborhood.
1011
01:13:08,783 --> 01:13:11,775
- Okay, maybe down that way?
- Maybe you come home.
1012
01:13:13,254 --> 01:13:15,882
Look, white guy with a baby.
1013
01:13:16,257 --> 01:13:19,715
Wherever he's going,
that's where we need to be.
1014
01:13:20,495 --> 01:13:21,985
Come on.
1015
01:13:23,030 --> 01:13:27,160
MAGDA: I lived here before.
It used to be all-Ukrainian area.
1016
01:13:27,335 --> 01:13:28,393
Mm-hm.
1017
01:13:28,569 --> 01:13:30,264
A U-Haul.
1018
01:13:31,005 --> 01:13:32,404
Coming or going?
1019
01:13:33,074 --> 01:13:36,134
- Going. Oh, boy. I'm gonna check it out.
- Okay.
1020
01:13:36,310 --> 01:13:37,299
Wait down here, okay?
1021
01:13:37,478 --> 01:13:42,677
And there in old Ukrainia,
Miranda found her new apartment.
1022
01:13:44,385 --> 01:13:46,853
CARRIE: "And there they remained
for the rest of their days...
1023
01:13:47,021 --> 01:13:49,012
...for the birds
were constantly on guard...
1024
01:13:49,190 --> 01:13:52,626
...and the women could not so much
as step one foot out the door.
1025
01:13:52,793 --> 01:13:57,321
And Cinderella and the prince
lived happily ever after."
1026
01:14:03,871 --> 01:14:07,363
You know that this is just a fairy tale,
right, sweetheart?
1027
01:14:07,542 --> 01:14:10,875
I mean, things don't always
happen like this in real life.
1028
01:14:11,546 --> 01:14:15,846
- I just think you should know that now.
- Again.
1029
01:14:17,018 --> 01:14:18,849
And another one bites the dust.
1030
01:14:19,020 --> 01:14:21,011
- Hi.
CARRIE: Hi.
1031
01:14:21,489 --> 01:14:23,457
Mommy's home.
1032
01:14:24,058 --> 01:14:26,458
Thanks for watching Lily
while I went to the doctor.
1033
01:14:26,627 --> 01:14:30,723
- Oh, sure. Everything okay?
- Mm-hm.
1034
01:14:31,432 --> 01:14:35,334
- I'm pregnant.
- How?
1035
01:14:35,503 --> 01:14:40,167
You know how people always say
that when you stop trying, it can happen?
1036
01:14:40,341 --> 01:14:43,674
And my doctor says that she knows
other couples who have adopted...
1037
01:14:43,844 --> 01:14:46,005
...and then they get pregnant.
1038
01:14:46,647 --> 01:14:49,946
- Sweetie.
- Carrie, I'm pregnant.
1039
01:14:51,752 --> 01:14:55,654
I guess in certain houses,
fairy tales do come true.
1040
01:14:55,823 --> 01:14:57,688
[SAMANTHA MOANS]
1041
01:14:57,858 --> 01:15:00,190
SAMANTHA:
Oh, that was really hot.
1042
01:15:01,562 --> 01:15:05,965
- You seem kind of distant.
- Distant? You're still in me.
1043
01:15:13,207 --> 01:15:17,735
- Do you wanna talk about it?
- When have I ever wanted to talk about it?
1044
01:15:17,912 --> 01:15:21,348
Okay. I'll talk about it.
1045
01:15:21,515 --> 01:15:23,813
Your best friends got screwed over
by their guys.
1046
01:15:23,985 --> 01:15:26,419
How could you not be distant?
1047
01:15:28,222 --> 01:15:30,417
It's more than that.
1048
01:15:31,559 --> 01:15:36,360
Lately, I haven't been feeling
a connection to...
1049
01:15:36,864 --> 01:15:38,661
- What, me?
- No.