1
00:00:45,077 --> 00:00:46,516
You were incredible.
2
00:00:47,321 --> 00:00:49,354
My heart is still racing.
3
00:00:50,918 --> 00:00:52,918
I felt it too.
4
00:00:52,953 --> 00:00:54,953
All thanks
to your brute strength, Dash,
5
00:00:54,988 --> 00:00:58,231
and your knowledge
of ancient Aramaic mathematics.
6
00:00:58,266 --> 00:01:01,234
Please. This has nothing to do
with my two doctorates
7
00:01:01,269 --> 00:01:03,137
and my master's
in Gender Studies
8
00:01:04,206 --> 00:01:06,965
and everything to do
with you, Dr. Lovemore.
9
00:01:07,506 --> 00:01:09,473
The truth is,
10
00:01:09,508 --> 00:01:12,069
I never thought I would find
the Lost City of D.
11
00:01:12,104 --> 00:01:14,907
I would
choose your words carefully.
12
00:01:14,942 --> 00:01:16,942
They will be your last.
13
00:01:16,977 --> 00:01:20,781
You led me right
to King Kalaman's tomb
14
00:01:20,816 --> 00:01:24,422
and his queen's
legendary Crown of Fire.
15
00:01:24,457 --> 00:01:27,425
And now I will be very rich,
16
00:01:27,460 --> 00:01:30,131
and you will be very dead.
17
00:01:31,233 --> 00:01:34,597
Hold up. Are these--
Are these your snakes?
18
00:01:34,632 --> 00:01:36,467
No, they were just here.
19
00:01:36,502 --> 00:01:38,931
There were just
hundreds of snakes
in this temple
20
00:01:38,966 --> 00:01:40,867
just waiting for us
to show up?
21
00:01:40,902 --> 00:01:43,133
Who feeds them? You feed them?
No, what do they eat?
22
00:01:43,168 --> 00:01:45,509
Why is that one
not biting that guy?
Why is that happening?
23
00:01:45,544 --> 00:01:48,479
-Are they trained not
to bite henchmen or something?
-Yeah, well...
24
00:01:48,514 --> 00:01:50,712
I mean, the snake-to-temple
ratio alone...
25
00:01:50,747 --> 00:01:53,077
This is ridiculous.
Delete.
26
00:01:54,421 --> 00:01:56,322
I-- I think my character
can still work.
27
00:01:56,357 --> 00:01:58,324
Delete.
28
00:01:58,359 --> 00:02:00,260
Loretta, you still have
a story to write.
29
00:02:01,087 --> 00:02:02,163
Delete.
30
00:02:04,860 --> 00:02:06,992
Hey, it's me, Beth.
31
00:02:07,027 --> 00:02:09,401
I don't want to pull the whole
"I'm your publisher" card,
but I am.
32
00:02:09,436 --> 00:02:11,733
And I'm really looking forward
to seeing this last chapter.
33
00:02:11,768 --> 00:02:14,131
But no pressure.
No, there actually is pressure.
34
00:02:14,166 --> 00:02:18,036
The exact amount of pressure
that motivates you
but doesn't paralyze you.
35
00:02:18,071 --> 00:02:19,345
You got this.
36
00:02:21,008 --> 00:02:22,249
Thank you.
37
00:02:22,284 --> 00:02:24,416
Me again.
38
00:02:24,451 --> 00:02:26,385
Okay, so everything
is set for the book tour,
39
00:02:26,420 --> 00:02:29,322
but, uh, the only thing we need
is a book to tour with.
40
00:02:29,357 --> 00:02:31,588
I can't help
but get the feeling that
you're not finishing
41
00:02:31,623 --> 00:02:34,327
because you don't want
to leave your house.
42
00:02:34,362 --> 00:02:39,431
Listen, I know these last
five years have been hard
after John's passing,
43
00:02:39,466 --> 00:02:42,830
and it feels easier
to live in your bathtub,
44
00:02:42,865 --> 00:02:45,734
drinking Chardonnay on ice.
45
00:02:45,769 --> 00:02:48,605
But, girl,
there is a great big world
waiting for you
46
00:02:48,640 --> 00:02:51,542
and a book tour
that I can't cancel, so just
make it happen, all right?
47
00:02:51,577 --> 00:02:52,642
Love you, bye!
48
00:03:11,828 --> 00:03:13,267
We have to keep going.
49
00:03:14,501 --> 00:03:16,963
Let's see
what's on the other side
of that door.
50
00:03:16,998 --> 00:03:18,932
But what if
there isn't anything?
51
00:03:19,836 --> 00:03:21,737
There's only one way
to find out.
52
00:03:22,806 --> 00:03:24,806
Then Lovemore realized
53
00:03:24,841 --> 00:03:27,281
the treasure she wanted
was lost forever
54
00:03:27,316 --> 00:03:29,646
and her adventures
were coming to an end.
55
00:03:29,681 --> 00:03:30,944
That doesn't feel right.
56
00:03:30,979 --> 00:03:32,814
Yeah, but that's it.
57
00:03:32,849 --> 00:03:34,178
That's the end.
58
00:03:43,288 --> 00:03:44,760
Well, John,
59
00:03:45,466 --> 00:03:46,663
here I go.
60
00:03:46,698 --> 00:03:48,830
Dulcius ex asperis.
61
00:03:55,674 --> 00:03:58,411
Okay, honey, it's showtime.
-Are you sure about this?
62
00:03:58,446 --> 00:04:02,107
Because I have a wedgie
in the back and in the front
in this thing.
63
00:04:02,142 --> 00:04:04,450
I feel like
a nerdy figure skater.
64
00:04:04,485 --> 00:04:07,178
Sexy. Stunner.
I'm all about it.
No, it's not. It's not.
65
00:04:07,213 --> 00:04:09,279
-How do I move in this?
-Don't touch it.
66
00:04:09,314 --> 00:04:11,655
I'm not touching it.
I'm holding it out.
Stop it. Will you stop?
67
00:04:11,690 --> 00:04:13,789
Get it out now
'cause you can't do that
onstage.
68
00:04:13,824 --> 00:04:16,528
And we're done.
And we're done. Okay, good.
69
00:04:16,563 --> 00:04:18,530
Do I need to be wearing
a glitter onesie?
70
00:04:18,565 --> 00:04:20,191
You only have to wear this
for two hours.
71
00:04:20,226 --> 00:04:22,292
Do not mess this up,
do you hear me?
This is on loan.
72
00:04:22,327 --> 00:04:24,195
Everyone's wearing
sequins right now.
73
00:04:25,737 --> 00:04:27,935
Why is she taking my photo?
This is Allison.
74
00:04:27,970 --> 00:04:30,443
She is our new
social media manager.
75
00:04:30,478 --> 00:04:33,347
And she's gonna be helping us
target that younger demographic.
76
00:04:33,382 --> 00:04:35,844
Meaning women in their 30s
who wish they were in their 20s.
77
00:04:35,879 --> 00:04:37,615
Hey, what's up?
78
00:04:37,650 --> 00:04:40,981
Um, I took over your socials,
so this morning you tweeted,
79
00:04:41,016 --> 00:04:46,118
"Where are my ladies at?
Meet me at Ballroom G
at- 00 p.m.
80
00:04:46,153 --> 00:04:47,790
#ShawnMendes.
81
00:04:47,825 --> 00:04:50,727
#GaggingToMeetYouAll."
82
00:04:50,762 --> 00:04:53,532
Okay, we are having fun.
Let's go.
83
00:04:53,567 --> 00:04:56,326
We need to remind people
that you are still alive.
84
00:04:56,361 --> 00:04:57,965
People know I'm alive.
85
00:04:58,000 --> 00:05:00,033
And to remind them
why this used to be
86
00:05:00,068 --> 00:05:02,332
the best selling franchise.
In Romance.
87
00:05:02,367 --> 00:05:05,137
Yes, which is the top
revenue-generating
literary category.
88
00:05:05,172 --> 00:05:07,876
Revenue-generating
isn't how I would describe
our presales right now.
89
00:05:07,911 --> 00:05:10,175
Just think of this as a way
that uses word of mouth.
90
00:05:10,210 --> 00:05:12,078
Oh, you want word of mouth?
Here we go. How's this?
91
00:05:12,113 --> 00:05:14,751
"The only thing
more lost than the city
is the author herself."
92
00:05:14,786 --> 00:05:16,819
"Loveless."
"Passionless."
93
00:05:16,854 --> 00:05:20,592
Uh, "Way past her prime."
And, oh, "This is fake history
at its worst."
94
00:05:20,627 --> 00:05:22,924
A book tour could
change everything, okay?
95
00:05:22,959 --> 00:05:25,432
We have to remind the fans
why they love you so much.
96
00:05:25,467 --> 00:05:29,062
Real history.
I merely season it
with a smidge more nudity.
97
00:05:29,097 --> 00:05:31,130
History had
a ton of nudity.
98
00:05:32,199 --> 00:05:34,166
Deep exploration.
99
00:05:34,201 --> 00:05:37,070
Steamy wondering.
100
00:05:37,105 --> 00:05:42,042
Will Lovemore and Dash find
Queen Taha's priceless
Crown of Fire?
101
00:05:42,077 --> 00:05:43,945
Join them on their search.
102
00:05:43,980 --> 00:05:46,013
So, listen, I wanted to
talk to you about something.
103
00:05:46,048 --> 00:05:47,421
There's so many people.
104
00:05:47,456 --> 00:05:49,720
I know how much you hate
doing these things,
105
00:05:49,755 --> 00:05:52,525
so I've invited Alan
to do the Q and A
with you today.
106
00:05:52,560 --> 00:05:54,626
-What?
-And the rest of the book tour.
107
00:05:54,661 --> 00:05:57,629
Beth, I expressly asked
not to do any more events
with Dash-- Alan, Alan!
108
00:05:57,664 --> 00:06:00,566
-He's gonna humiliate me.
-He's not gonna humiliate you.
109
00:06:00,601 --> 00:06:03,536
Thank you.
You're very good at your job.
Thank you so much. Thank you.
110
00:06:03,571 --> 00:06:04,900
Let me help you with that.
111
00:06:04,935 --> 00:06:06,902
He is-- He's
a body wash commercial.
112
00:06:06,937 --> 00:06:09,069
He's always glistening
all over the place.
113
00:06:09,104 --> 00:06:11,874
There hasn't been an event
where his shirt
didn't come flying off.
114
00:06:11,909 --> 00:06:13,612
You wish.
Well, he's already here,
115
00:06:13,647 --> 00:06:15,944
so put on your big-girl panties
and let's get out there.
116
00:06:15,979 --> 00:06:19,079
Remember,
no grumpy face, big words
or boring academic talk.
117
00:06:19,114 --> 00:06:22,313
Yes! Yes!
118
00:06:22,348 --> 00:06:24,381
Come on, RTP!
119
00:06:24,416 --> 00:06:26,086
Ha-ha!
120
00:06:26,121 --> 00:06:28,495
Yes, my Lovemore-heads!
121
00:06:28,530 --> 00:06:31,960
I am so excited
to introduce to you
122
00:06:31,995 --> 00:06:36,096
the award-winning author,
Loretta Sage!
123
00:06:36,131 --> 00:06:38,670
Beth, I can't do this.
I'm not ready.
Are you kidding me?
124
00:06:38,705 --> 00:06:40,474
Listen, I've got your back.
You got this.
125
00:06:40,509 --> 00:06:42,003
Go give the people
what they want.
126
00:06:42,038 --> 00:06:43,972
It's not me they want.
Get out there now!
127
00:06:46,548 --> 00:06:50,176
Hi. How are you?
Nice to see you. Thank you.
128
00:06:55,524 --> 00:06:57,282
Yep. Mount it.
129
00:06:59,726 --> 00:07:02,694
Mount it. Mount it.
Okay.
130
00:07:02,729 --> 00:07:04,663
Find your center.
131
00:07:04,698 --> 00:07:08,260
And now, the moment
you've all been waiting for.
132
00:07:08,295 --> 00:07:10,097
The sexiest...
All right!
133
00:07:10,132 --> 00:07:14,200
...most influential hero
of a generation.
134
00:07:14,235 --> 00:07:15,608
That's a bit strong.
135
00:07:15,643 --> 00:07:18,006
His 20th cover
of an Angela Lovemore novel.
136
00:07:18,646 --> 00:07:20,976
Dash McMahon!
137
00:07:26,412 --> 00:07:28,951
Oh, my God! Dash!
138
00:07:51,712 --> 00:07:54,009
Take a bow.
I already did mine.
I did mine.
139
00:07:54,044 --> 00:07:56,715
Okay, come on.
One more. I got you.
140
00:08:11,930 --> 00:08:13,831
Did you guys rehearse that?
Oh, my God.
141
00:08:13,866 --> 00:08:17,527
I'm loving this chemistry
between you two,
and I got to say,
142
00:08:17,562 --> 00:08:19,837
I love this book.
143
00:08:19,872 --> 00:08:21,036
Oh, thank you, Ray.
Thank--
144
00:08:21,071 --> 00:08:22,400
Spoiler alert.
145
00:08:22,435 --> 00:08:23,874
A really bold choice
146
00:08:23,909 --> 00:08:25,909
to not have them go
into the tomb at the end.
147
00:08:25,944 --> 00:08:27,779
Talk about
what went into this one.
148
00:08:27,814 --> 00:08:31,244
I mean, this one's
such a special book
for me personally.
149
00:08:31,279 --> 00:08:34,181
I-- I don't know how to say
how much it means to me
150
00:08:34,216 --> 00:08:36,414
that Loretta,
word writer extraordinaire,
151
00:08:36,449 --> 00:08:39,384
has, you know,
named the book after me.
152
00:08:39,419 --> 00:08:41,287
The Lost City of Dash.
153
00:08:41,322 --> 00:08:42,761
The Lost City of D.
154
00:08:42,796 --> 00:08:44,961
Um, but that's not what
the D stands for.
155
00:08:44,996 --> 00:08:47,799
It's D for "dick," right?
No dick, no.
156
00:08:47,834 --> 00:08:51,066
It's based on the name
of an ancient tribe,
Dapocagihou-dysphem-ica.
157
00:08:51,101 --> 00:08:55,708
And, um, it was too difficult
for the European colonizers
to pronounce,
158
00:08:55,743 --> 00:08:58,876
so, in true colonial fashion
they abbreviated it.
No one cares about this.
159
00:08:58,911 --> 00:09:00,878
That's so interesting.
Okay.
160
00:09:00,913 --> 00:09:03,144
How about we
take some questions
from the audience?
161
00:09:03,179 --> 00:09:05,245
Right here, handsome!
Yes.
162
00:09:05,280 --> 00:09:09,546
Dash, what's your favorite
romantic moment?
Ooh.
163
00:09:09,581 --> 00:09:13,891
What I would really like
to know is what is Loretta's
favorite romantic moment?
164
00:09:13,926 --> 00:09:15,926
Ooh, spicy.
165
00:09:15,961 --> 00:09:17,961
Oh, uh...
166
00:09:17,996 --> 00:09:20,931
-Well, being a sapiosexual--
167
00:09:20,966 --> 00:09:23,098
Oh, is that when
they do the snakes
around the...
168
00:09:23,133 --> 00:09:27,333
No. That's someone
who finds, uh, intellect
169
00:09:27,368 --> 00:09:31,139
or intelligence,
uh, very sexy, you know.
170
00:09:31,174 --> 00:09:32,305
Same.
171
00:09:32,879 --> 00:09:34,274
Really?
172
00:09:34,309 --> 00:09:36,914
Dash! Rip off your shirt!
173
00:09:36,949 --> 00:09:40,687
No, no, no.
We're not gonna do that today.
We're here for Loretta's book.
174
00:09:40,722 --> 00:09:42,656
Do we have questions
for Loretta?
175
00:09:42,691 --> 00:09:47,793
Uh, yes,
studious-looking young lady?
What would you like to ask me?
176
00:09:47,828 --> 00:09:49,960
Can you rip off Dash's shirt?
177
00:09:51,524 --> 00:09:54,426
No, no. We're not gonna
do this again. Sorry.
178
00:09:54,461 --> 00:09:56,967
Rip it off! Rip it off!
179
00:09:57,002 --> 00:09:59,497
Rip it off! Rip it off!
Rip it off!
180
00:09:59,532 --> 00:10:03,006
Of course. Of course, yes.
Can do.
181
00:10:04,174 --> 00:10:05,602
Is this happening?
182
00:10:05,637 --> 00:10:07,373
You don't have to do this.
Oh, we have to.
183
00:10:07,408 --> 00:10:09,606
We have to give the people
what they want. Yes, yes.
184
00:10:09,641 --> 00:10:12,378
We have to give the people
what they want, yes.
185
00:10:12,413 --> 00:10:15,821
Ladies and gentlemen,
enjoy.
186
00:10:15,856 --> 00:10:20,518
Because The Lost City of D
is Dash's final adventure.
187
00:10:20,553 --> 00:10:22,729
If there even
is a next book,
188
00:10:22,764 --> 00:10:25,798
it will open with Lovemore
receiving the tragic news
189
00:10:25,833 --> 00:10:28,163
of his untimely death.
190
00:10:28,198 --> 00:10:29,901
What?
191
00:10:29,936 --> 00:10:31,397
Shit. I'm sorry.
My smartwatch is stuck.
Ow. Hold on.
192
00:10:31,432 --> 00:10:32,629
I know. Don't pull it.
193
00:10:32,664 --> 00:10:34,169
It's okay. Just be real still.
194
00:10:34,204 --> 00:10:35,808
No. That's pulling it.
You're pulling it.
195
00:10:35,843 --> 00:10:38,107
You're gonna rip my wig off.
No, you can't--
196
00:10:42,608 --> 00:10:43,673
Oh, my!
197
00:10:43,708 --> 00:10:45,312
Oh, my God.
Is he okay?
198
00:10:45,347 --> 00:10:47,182
God, I'm so sorry.
I'm so sorry.
199
00:10:47,217 --> 00:10:49,888
-I'm so sorry.
You're a bad person.
200
00:10:49,923 --> 00:10:53,793
Stick around
for the costume contest
at- 00 p.m.
201
00:10:54,796 --> 00:10:57,357
"If there is another book"?
202
00:10:57,392 --> 00:11:02,395
I'm investing
everything we've got
into this tour, okay?
203
00:11:02,430 --> 00:11:05,662
I just don't think I have
another Dash and Lovemore
adventure in me.
204
00:11:05,697 --> 00:11:07,235
How does Dash die?
205
00:11:07,270 --> 00:11:09,534
Was it the snakes?
No.
206
00:11:09,569 --> 00:11:12,075
Okay, so I have something
that I have to take care of.
207
00:11:12,110 --> 00:11:14,539
You guys have an interview
in the next suite
in ten minutes.
208
00:11:14,574 --> 00:11:16,948
So can you please do me a favor
and be grown-ups
209
00:11:16,983 --> 00:11:18,510
and get yourselves there
on your own?
210
00:11:18,545 --> 00:11:19,786
Okay. Thank you so much.
211
00:11:20,745 --> 00:11:22,613
Does he die from
a staph infection?
212
00:11:24,793 --> 00:11:26,650
It is a staph infection.
I knew it.
213
00:11:27,895 --> 00:11:29,422
I-I-- All right.
214
00:11:29,457 --> 00:11:32,623
Look, I get it
if you need a break
or something,
215
00:11:32,658 --> 00:11:34,801
but you can't
just kill me, okay?
Okay.
216
00:11:34,836 --> 00:11:39,201
I hate that I have to
ask this, but you do know
you're not Dash, right?
217
00:11:39,236 --> 00:11:41,302
Dash is a character
I made up.
218
00:11:41,337 --> 00:11:42,633
Dash?
219
00:11:45,638 --> 00:11:46,813
Thanks.
220
00:11:46,848 --> 00:11:47,913
Thank you.
221
00:11:50,676 --> 00:11:53,116
Loretta, it's this way.
No, I think it's this way.
222
00:11:53,151 --> 00:11:55,448
Can't you see that Dash
means so much to people?
223
00:11:55,483 --> 00:11:57,318
Means so much to you.
Not to me.
224
00:11:57,353 --> 00:11:59,254
Well, yeah, to me,
but to other people too.
225
00:11:59,289 --> 00:12:02,323
What about Beth?
You know what?
Beth is gonna be fine.
226
00:12:02,358 --> 00:12:06,096
She's gonna find plenty
fresh, young writers
full of great ideas.
227
00:12:06,131 --> 00:12:08,230
You can transition gracefully
228
00:12:08,265 --> 00:12:10,562
into the shirt-on phase
of your modeling career,
229
00:12:10,597 --> 00:12:12,102
and I can be left alone.
230
00:12:12,137 --> 00:12:13,906
Everybody is happy.
231
00:12:13,941 --> 00:12:15,974
No, it's this way.
232
00:12:16,009 --> 00:12:17,910
Beth says you don't even
leave the house anymore.
233
00:12:17,945 --> 00:12:20,077
I don't feel like
that's very happy.
234
00:12:20,112 --> 00:12:23,080
You should be going out in
the world, filling yourself up
on new experiences.
235
00:12:23,115 --> 00:12:25,478
I'm already filled up.
I'm full. I'm fully satiated.
236
00:12:25,513 --> 00:12:28,822
Why would you want
to be stuck at home alone
when you could see the world?
237
00:12:28,857 --> 00:12:30,351
You could be visiting
ancient Greece.
238
00:12:30,386 --> 00:12:33,354
Okay. How could I visit
ancient Greece?
239
00:12:33,389 --> 00:12:35,521
I get it. Because
you're afraid of flying.
240
00:12:35,556 --> 00:12:38,997
No. Because ancient Greece
is in the past.
241
00:12:39,032 --> 00:12:40,790
Just like Dash.
242
00:12:40,825 --> 00:12:44,167
Okay. You want to know who else
is stuck in the past? You are.
243
00:12:44,202 --> 00:12:46,796
You're so afraid
of life hurting you again
that you've stopped living.
244
00:12:46,831 --> 00:12:49,007
You're like a human mummy.
245
00:12:50,571 --> 00:12:52,637
I didn't, um...
246
00:12:53,981 --> 00:12:55,277
Oh.
247
00:12:55,312 --> 00:12:57,180
Mummies are human.
248
00:13:06,521 --> 00:13:08,521
Stupid-- Oh, crap.
249
00:13:09,821 --> 00:13:11,865
I'm so sorry.
I-I will clean this up.
250
00:13:11,900 --> 00:13:14,560
I am not a litterer,
I-I assure you that.
251
00:13:14,595 --> 00:13:17,871
Do you, um--
Do you think you could, uh,
call a car for me, please?
252
00:13:17,906 --> 00:13:19,334
Thank you. Thank you.
253
00:13:22,240 --> 00:13:23,536
Bring the car around.
254
00:13:23,571 --> 00:13:25,208
God, is that
someone's retainer?
255
00:13:25,243 --> 00:13:27,540
I've never said the right thing
one time around her.
256
00:13:27,575 --> 00:13:29,806
I get nervous
because she opens her mouth,
257
00:13:29,841 --> 00:13:34,052
and just an encyclopedia
of beautifulness comes out,
and I just never say--
258
00:13:34,087 --> 00:13:35,548
You know
she's trying to kill me?
259
00:13:35,583 --> 00:13:37,891
I just need
those tomatoes.
260
00:13:37,926 --> 00:13:40,223
You're right.
No, you're right.
261
00:13:40,258 --> 00:13:41,994
I should apologize.
Thank you, man.
262
00:13:42,029 --> 00:13:43,864
I appreciate that
very, very much.
You're welcome.
263
00:13:54,272 --> 00:13:56,305
Uh, Loretta Sage. Yeah.
264
00:14:01,642 --> 00:14:02,707
Uh--
265
00:14:04,084 --> 00:14:05,413
Hiya.
266
00:14:05,448 --> 00:14:07,118
Uh, I did not order
an UberPool.
267
00:14:07,153 --> 00:14:10,022
Someone wants to meet you.
We'll have you right back.
268
00:14:10,057 --> 00:14:11,089
Um...
269
00:14:14,655 --> 00:14:16,094
Loretta!
270
00:14:16,129 --> 00:14:17,557
Loretta! Loretta?
271
00:14:20,628 --> 00:14:22,562
Uh, Loretta?
272
00:14:22,597 --> 00:14:25,202
Did you say "Loretta"?
Yeah.
273
00:14:25,237 --> 00:14:26,566
Follow that SUV, man.
No.
274
00:14:26,601 --> 00:14:28,601
Come on, please!
No, no, no.
275
00:14:28,636 --> 00:14:31,604
I'm not helping
any more handsome strangers.
Fool me once. Mm-mmm.
276
00:14:31,639 --> 00:14:34,904
What is this, Taken?
Am I "tooken"?
277
00:14:34,939 --> 00:14:36,543
Am I sold already?
278
00:14:36,578 --> 00:14:39,645
Am I--
Am I sold to him?
279
00:14:39,680 --> 00:14:43,385
Ow. Stop.
Oh, no. Did this feel creepy?
280
00:14:43,420 --> 00:14:46,091
I said
don't make it creepy, guys.
281
00:14:46,126 --> 00:14:48,225
I'm so sorry
about the setting.
282
00:14:48,260 --> 00:14:50,821
I just flew in.
I was in a real panic
to meet you.
283
00:14:50,856 --> 00:14:53,065
I didn't have time
to dress the place up much.
284
00:14:53,100 --> 00:14:55,925
I read you love cheese,
so I just got them all.
285
00:14:55,960 --> 00:14:59,830
Are you the one
who's been emailing me
for photos of my feet?
286
00:14:59,865 --> 00:15:02,008
No. Um--
287
00:15:02,043 --> 00:15:06,012
And I promise
what I'm about to show you
is gonna make you very happy.
288
00:15:06,839 --> 00:15:08,278
But first, a little bit
289
00:15:08,313 --> 00:15:11,644
about the mysterious rogue
you see before you.
290
00:15:11,679 --> 00:15:14,119
Uh, my name
is Abigail Fairfax.
291
00:15:14,154 --> 00:15:17,188
Abigail?
It's a gender-neutral name,
like Leslie or Beverly.
292
00:15:17,223 --> 00:15:20,653
Yes, but you're Abigail Fairfax
of the media-mogul Fairfaxes?
293
00:15:21,788 --> 00:15:25,130
Didn't you just
take over your company or...
294
00:15:25,165 --> 00:15:29,167
No, that was my brother,
actually. That was Leslie.
We're all very proud.
295
00:15:29,202 --> 00:15:32,203
Ah. Yes, I should say so,
at such a young age to--
296
00:15:32,238 --> 00:15:34,271
Some might even say
too young.
297
00:15:34,306 --> 00:15:37,043
But that world
never really interested me.
298
00:15:37,078 --> 00:15:39,870
My passions, as you may know,
299
00:15:39,905 --> 00:15:42,939
lie in the hidden things
in the world,
300
00:15:42,974 --> 00:15:45,810
things which defy possession.
301
00:15:45,845 --> 00:15:49,022
Um, some might call me
a collector.
302
00:15:49,057 --> 00:15:52,784
But there is one obsession
in particular
303
00:15:52,819 --> 00:15:54,720
that has held me captive.
304
00:15:55,855 --> 00:15:57,525
The Crown of Fire
305
00:15:57,560 --> 00:16:00,132
and its cascading
red diamonds.
306
00:16:00,167 --> 00:16:03,828
Is this a... Is this
a hidden-camera thing?
307
00:16:03,863 --> 00:16:07,469
So imagine my surprise
when, in your new book,
308
00:16:07,504 --> 00:16:10,703
amidst the pages
of coital reverie,
309
00:16:10,738 --> 00:16:11,836
was something...
310
00:16:11,871 --> 00:16:13,838
Oh, God.
...quite magnificent.
311
00:16:15,776 --> 00:16:18,348
I get it. I get it.
I so get it right now.
312
00:16:18,383 --> 00:16:19,844
Oh, my gosh.
313
00:16:19,879 --> 00:16:22,220
I literally thought
you guys kidnapped me.
314
00:16:22,255 --> 00:16:24,717
I mean,
this is marketing, right?
Beth set this up?
315
00:16:24,752 --> 00:16:27,720
This was so good, you guys.
This was amazing.
316
00:16:27,755 --> 00:16:31,163
You, with your gun
and your mustache
317
00:16:31,198 --> 00:16:34,023
and your,
"You'd better get in there"
and you know...
318
00:16:35,202 --> 00:16:36,894
Oh, my God.
319
00:16:36,929 --> 00:16:40,931
You, with the G.I. Joe
tone-on-tone outfit.
320
00:16:40,966 --> 00:16:45,870
Your fictional archaeologist
was making real translations
of a dead language.
321
00:16:45,905 --> 00:16:48,873
Mm-hmm.
Something nobody else
has been able to do.
322
00:16:48,908 --> 00:16:51,282
Well, nobody else
had ever tried.
323
00:16:51,317 --> 00:16:53,251
Is that right?
Am I saying the right thing?
324
00:16:53,286 --> 00:16:54,945
Except you, right?
325
00:16:54,980 --> 00:16:56,947
Except me!
326
00:16:56,982 --> 00:16:58,949
Yes. See, it turns out
327
00:16:58,984 --> 00:17:02,458
Loretta Sage
was once a young college girl
doing her dissertation
328
00:17:02,493 --> 00:17:05,428
on the dead language of the D
with her future husband,
329
00:17:05,463 --> 00:17:08,695
dreaming
of finding Kalaman's tomb
and the Crown of Fire.
330
00:17:08,730 --> 00:17:11,731
I was sorry to read
you gave up your search
after he died.
331
00:17:11,766 --> 00:17:13,106
But what that means is,
332
00:17:14,637 --> 00:17:16,604
you're all I have left.
333
00:17:16,639 --> 00:17:19,739
All-All you have left
for... what?
334
00:17:19,774 --> 00:17:20,806
Hmm.
335
00:17:22,579 --> 00:17:23,974
Oh.
336
00:17:24,009 --> 00:17:25,283
Here we go.
337
00:17:39,629 --> 00:17:41,596
What is this?
338
00:17:41,631 --> 00:17:45,336
I believe it is describing
the exact location
of Kalaman's tomb,
339
00:17:45,371 --> 00:17:48,801
in which Taha
and her priceless headdress
are buried.
340
00:17:48,836 --> 00:17:51,100
Well, if this were authentic,
341
00:17:51,135 --> 00:17:56,413
you would still have to
uncover an entire city
342
00:17:56,448 --> 00:17:59,581
that nobody
has been able to find.
343
00:17:59,616 --> 00:18:01,484
I found it.
344
00:18:01,519 --> 00:18:04,784
On a tiny, forgotten island
in the Atlantic
called Isla Hundida.
345
00:18:04,819 --> 00:18:08,359
What I have not been
able to find is Kalaman's
final resting place.
346
00:18:08,394 --> 00:18:12,627
This piece of parchment
is the only clue we found
among the ruins.
347
00:18:12,662 --> 00:18:15,630
I need someone
who can decipher these symbols.
348
00:18:16,369 --> 00:18:17,830
I need you.
349
00:18:18,998 --> 00:18:20,635
Well...
Miss Sage,
350
00:18:20,670 --> 00:18:24,210
surely this isn't how
you want your story to end.
351
00:18:24,245 --> 00:18:26,839
We both had our dreams crushed
by bad luck,
352
00:18:26,874 --> 00:18:29,314
or in my case,
an arse-kissing little brother,
353
00:18:29,349 --> 00:18:32,350
but this is our chance
to show them all.
354
00:18:32,385 --> 00:18:34,187
Come with me...
to the island.
355
00:18:34,222 --> 00:18:39,291
Translate these symbols
and help me find
the Crown of Fire.
356
00:18:39,326 --> 00:18:41,854
You can name your price.
357
00:18:44,595 --> 00:18:47,167
I must respectfully decline.
358
00:18:52,240 --> 00:18:53,272
Well...
359
00:18:55,243 --> 00:18:56,902
I can't say
I'm not disappointed.
360
00:18:57,872 --> 00:19:00,213
But I understand
how you feel.
361
00:19:03,845 --> 00:19:05,845
Will you at least let us
give you a ride?
362
00:19:05,880 --> 00:19:09,783
Oh, no, thank you.
I'll call for my own car,
and I'll just...
363
00:19:31,741 --> 00:19:35,545
I don't feel like
you're listening to me.
This is urgent, and we--
364
00:19:35,580 --> 00:19:38,383
Okay, so the police are saying
that they put out an APB...
365
00:19:38,418 --> 00:19:40,286
APB.
...on an SUV,
366
00:19:40,321 --> 00:19:42,717
and there's
this 24-hour rule...
Why is there a rule?
367
00:19:42,752 --> 00:19:45,115
...and they won't
do anything until...
What about the FBI or the CIA?
368
00:19:45,150 --> 00:19:47,216
-They said to call the police.
-I'm sure Loretta's fine.
369
00:19:47,251 --> 00:19:49,856
When I was in college,
my friend Nicki went missing.
370
00:19:49,891 --> 00:19:51,528
Everyone was, like,
freaking out.
371
00:19:51,563 --> 00:19:54,058
But then she was just
in her car.
372
00:19:54,093 --> 00:19:57,402
She was dead, but we found her.
She wasn't gone.
373
00:19:57,437 --> 00:20:01,736
Um, what about...
Maybe we could get a PI
374
00:20:01,771 --> 00:20:04,541
or, like, you know,
private security or--
375
00:20:04,576 --> 00:20:06,543
What about an extraction team,
like the movie?
376
00:20:06,578 --> 00:20:09,040
Yes! But who does that?
The ex-military, right?
377
00:20:09,075 --> 00:20:11,647
Oh, yeah. I think
I actually have somebody
that could help us.
378
00:20:11,682 --> 00:20:14,749
-Oh.
-I did this meditation retreat,
379
00:20:14,784 --> 00:20:16,949
and there was this
trainer guy there.
380
00:20:16,984 --> 00:20:18,489
You should
see this guy meditate.
381
00:20:18,524 --> 00:20:20,117
But he's ex-Navy SEAL.
382
00:20:20,152 --> 00:20:23,692
He-- He's a special ops trainer.
What was his name?
383
00:20:24,464 --> 00:20:25,793
Yeah. Jack Trainer.
384
00:20:25,828 --> 00:20:27,663
So he's a trainer
named Jack Trainer?
385
00:20:27,698 --> 00:20:29,797
That's how I have
everybody in my phone.
See, "Janice Mom."
386
00:20:29,832 --> 00:20:31,469
"Larry Doorknob."
"Stacy Butt Stuff."
387
00:20:31,504 --> 00:20:34,263
Look, this is
what this guy does.
He finds people.
388
00:20:34,298 --> 00:20:36,507
If there's anybody
that can help us, it's him.
389
00:20:43,549 --> 00:20:46,077
Jack Trainer.
Oh, so his name
is actually Jack Trainer.
390
00:20:46,112 --> 00:20:49,784
Hi, uh, this is Alan
from "Touching Your Inner Self."
391
00:20:51,359 --> 00:20:53,249
The meditation retreat?
392
00:20:55,022 --> 00:20:58,122
Anyway, uh, okay.
Our friend Loretta
has been kidnapped,
393
00:20:58,157 --> 00:20:59,596
and no one's helping us.
394
00:20:59,631 --> 00:21:01,092
How long she been missing?
395
00:21:01,127 --> 00:21:02,599
Maybe two hours now.
396
00:21:02,634 --> 00:21:03,996
Who is that?
397
00:21:04,031 --> 00:21:08,198
Um, this is B--
This is Beth. I'm Beth.
398
00:21:08,233 --> 00:21:10,640
And Allison
is on too, sir.
399
00:21:10,675 --> 00:21:13,005
Did she have any
Wi-Fi-enabled devices?
400
00:21:13,040 --> 00:21:16,008
-She's got her phone, right?
-No, I have her phone.
401
00:21:16,043 --> 00:21:18,879
Oh! She has a smartwatch.
It ripped my wig off.
402
00:21:18,914 --> 00:21:21,717
What was that scenario?
Never mind. Open the phone.
403
00:21:21,752 --> 00:21:23,312
Go to the smartwatch app.
All right.
404
00:21:23,347 --> 00:21:25,820
Then hit "Find My Smartwatch."
405
00:21:25,855 --> 00:21:28,856
Oh, my... That is so good.
That's why we called.
406
00:21:28,891 --> 00:21:31,529
"Anticipate the difficult
by managing the easy."
407
00:21:31,564 --> 00:21:35,060
Is that Oprah or Deepak?
Laozi from Tao-te Ching.
408
00:21:35,095 --> 00:21:36,468
Oh, my God.
409
00:21:36,503 --> 00:21:38,404
It's in the Atlantic.
410
00:21:38,439 --> 00:21:40,802
She's on a plane?
How can you tell that?
411
00:21:40,837 --> 00:21:43,134
'Cause she can't swim
that fast.
412
00:21:43,169 --> 00:21:44,806
Doesn't sound like
a ransom scenario.
413
00:21:44,841 --> 00:21:47,479
My guess is blood sport,
Hunger Games type situation.
414
00:21:47,514 --> 00:21:50,383
Possibly some coke-fueled
dark web scavenger hunt.
415
00:21:50,418 --> 00:21:52,550
Real clown shit.
We'll have to move fast.
416
00:21:52,585 --> 00:21:55,586
-How do we pay you?
-Cryptocurrency. Cash App.
417
00:21:55,621 --> 00:21:59,018
I'll have her back
within 48 hours
or your next rescue is free.
418
00:21:59,053 --> 00:22:00,525
How many people
need a next rescue?
419
00:22:00,560 --> 00:22:02,252
More than you'd think.
420
00:22:02,287 --> 00:22:04,188
-I'm gonna need that phone.
-I'll bring it to you.
421
00:22:04,223 --> 00:22:07,026
Let me know where she lands.
I'll meet you there, Alan.
422
00:22:21,746 --> 00:22:22,811
Hello.
423
00:22:27,554 --> 00:22:28,784
Where am I?
424
00:22:28,819 --> 00:22:30,918
Um, you're on my plane.
425
00:22:30,953 --> 00:22:32,282
It's nice, isn't it? Hmm?
426
00:22:32,317 --> 00:22:34,218
The seats are made of
mama llama leather.
427
00:22:34,253 --> 00:22:37,254
Well, I'm getting off
your plane.
428
00:22:37,289 --> 00:22:38,860
Unchain me!
429
00:22:38,895 --> 00:22:40,323
That's your seat belt.
430
00:22:41,062 --> 00:22:43,029
Did you chloroform me?
431
00:22:43,064 --> 00:22:45,196
People actually do that?
432
00:22:47,772 --> 00:22:50,135
Well, you know,
it's a classic for a reason.
433
00:22:50,907 --> 00:22:52,368
My body feels drunk.
434
00:22:52,403 --> 00:22:54,370
It'll wear off in a bit.
I am sorry.
435
00:22:54,405 --> 00:22:56,713
I just couldn't wait around
for you to change your mind.
436
00:22:56,748 --> 00:22:59,375
Stop playing jelly.
Time is not on our side.
437
00:22:59,410 --> 00:23:02,147
You see, the volcano
we're excavating around
438
00:23:02,182 --> 00:23:04,248
has developed
a bad case of indigestion.
439
00:23:04,283 --> 00:23:06,217
I'm rather worried
that when it blows,
440
00:23:06,252 --> 00:23:08,417
everything that's left
of the Lost City
will be destroyed.
441
00:23:08,452 --> 00:23:10,419
Oh, my God.
My legs don't work.
442
00:23:10,454 --> 00:23:15,897
So, this is our last chance
to find both the tomb
and the crown.
443
00:23:15,932 --> 00:23:18,064
Oh, God.
Oh!
444
00:23:18,099 --> 00:23:20,506
Don't worry.
That's just our final descent.
445
00:23:20,541 --> 00:23:26,336
But it is the beginning
of the greatest adventure
of your life.
446
00:24:35,077 --> 00:24:36,945
Welcome to the Lost City.
447
00:24:46,726 --> 00:24:48,319
How did you find it?
448
00:24:48,354 --> 00:24:50,662
So, the city was built
on a lava dome.
449
00:24:50,697 --> 00:24:53,390
As the volcano became active,
the dome filled with lava,
450
00:24:53,425 --> 00:24:55,997
and sunken things
rose to the surface.
451
00:24:56,032 --> 00:24:57,999
The D exposed itself.
452
00:24:58,034 --> 00:25:01,365
-The entire city?
-No, no. Just the tip.
453
00:25:01,400 --> 00:25:04,533
As soon as I heard rumors
of the ruins, I flew over
and bought the place.
454
00:25:04,568 --> 00:25:08,009
The site?
No. The island.
The southern half.
455
00:25:08,044 --> 00:25:10,341
I got a good deal
'cause this is where
the lava flows.
456
00:25:10,376 --> 00:25:12,442
We've been excavating
for a year now.
457
00:25:13,753 --> 00:25:16,281
One doesn't kidnap
a romance novelist
on day one.
458
00:25:16,316 --> 00:25:18,448
Ah, yes, as the saying goes.
459
00:25:18,483 --> 00:25:21,627
Rafi doesn't like it.
Do you, Rafi?
460
00:25:21,662 --> 00:25:24,960
He says
we're disrespecting
his heritage.
461
00:25:24,995 --> 00:25:28,194
But not a lot of other
job options on the island,
are there, Rafi?
462
00:25:28,229 --> 00:25:30,097
Beggars can't be choosers.
463
00:25:40,109 --> 00:25:41,977
No more charcuterie,
I take it.
464
00:25:42,012 --> 00:25:44,243
Mmm. Please.
I'm not a monster.
465
00:25:44,278 --> 00:25:45,849
Whatever you need, just shout.
466
00:25:47,688 --> 00:25:52,350
Uh, leave one hand free.
She has some translating to do.
467
00:25:53,617 --> 00:25:54,990
And then what?
468
00:25:55,025 --> 00:25:57,663
Loretta, I really wish
you would try and see
469
00:25:57,698 --> 00:25:59,962
what an exciting opportunity
this is for us.
470
00:25:59,997 --> 00:26:03,768
I believe this text describes
the exact location of the tomb.
471
00:26:03,803 --> 00:26:06,199
It's a logographic system.
472
00:26:07,136 --> 00:26:09,939
Like cuneiform or hieroglyphics.
473
00:26:09,974 --> 00:26:13,602
Now, if you have other documents
that possibly I can compare--
474
00:26:13,637 --> 00:26:15,076
Yeah, no luck there.
475
00:26:15,111 --> 00:26:17,947
We found some scratching
at a nearby waterfall,
476
00:26:17,982 --> 00:26:18,948
but it was useless.
477
00:26:18,983 --> 00:26:20,752
Just pictures of women.
478
00:26:20,787 --> 00:26:25,416
Look, I, too, wish
your dear old dead
archaeologist husband
479
00:26:25,451 --> 00:26:28,188
was here to help,
but he's not, so,
480
00:26:28,223 --> 00:26:31,158
time to shine, Loretta,
sex-book writer.
481
00:26:32,656 --> 00:26:34,326
They will come for me.
482
00:26:34,966 --> 00:26:36,801
Who, exactly?
483
00:26:36,836 --> 00:26:38,594
Your-- Your many cats?
484
00:26:38,629 --> 00:26:40,365
Oh, I don't have cats.
485
00:26:41,071 --> 00:26:42,972
Somehow even more sad.
486
00:26:43,007 --> 00:26:46,041
I have a hamster, asshole!
487
00:26:46,076 --> 00:26:47,977
You have a hamster's asshole?
488
00:26:48,012 --> 00:26:51,816
No, there was a--
there was a comma between--
Forget it.
489
00:26:51,851 --> 00:26:54,885
I bet your brother never had
to kidnap anyone!
490
00:27:26,754 --> 00:27:30,217
♪ From the dusty mesa ♪
491
00:27:30,252 --> 00:27:34,727
♪ Her looming shadow grows ♪
492
00:27:34,762 --> 00:27:38,093
♪ Hidden in the branches ♪
493
00:27:38,128 --> 00:27:42,031
♪ Of the poison creosote ♪
494
00:27:45,806 --> 00:27:47,399
Good to see you, man.
495
00:27:47,434 --> 00:27:48,972
Phone.
Right.
496
00:28:00,986 --> 00:28:02,381
What?
497
00:28:02,416 --> 00:28:05,021
Yeah, I was thinking
that I could, you know,
498
00:28:05,056 --> 00:28:06,616
maybe just sort of
come with you.
499
00:28:06,651 --> 00:28:08,684
Why?
To help.
500
00:28:08,719 --> 00:28:12,765
I know CPR.
I know some light karate.
CrossFit certified.
501
00:28:12,800 --> 00:28:14,228
Okay, okay, listen, listen!
502
00:28:15,264 --> 00:28:16,967
I just-- It's my fault.
503
00:28:17,002 --> 00:28:19,431
Not the kidnapping
and stuff,
504
00:28:19,466 --> 00:28:22,434
but, like, I said
some really mean stuff to her,
and I regret it,
505
00:28:22,469 --> 00:28:24,106
and I just need
to take it back.
506
00:28:24,141 --> 00:28:25,404
I called her a human mummy.
507
00:28:26,814 --> 00:28:28,110
Mummies are human.
508
00:28:28,915 --> 00:28:31,476
I'm aware of that now, yes.
509
00:28:31,511 --> 00:28:34,479
That is true.
510
00:28:34,514 --> 00:28:35,513
Please.
511
00:28:37,088 --> 00:28:39,484
All right, Alan,
I can't be responsible
for you.
512
00:28:40,454 --> 00:28:41,750
Okay. Yeah.
513
00:28:41,785 --> 00:28:44,621
I need you
to stay in the car.
Yeah.
514
00:28:44,656 --> 00:28:46,898
In the car.
In the car.
515
00:28:46,933 --> 00:28:49,329
The whole time.
The whole time?
516
00:28:49,364 --> 00:28:50,759
Whole time.
517
00:28:50,794 --> 00:28:51,837
Mm-hmm.
518
00:28:53,797 --> 00:28:54,840
Yes!
519
00:29:01,981 --> 00:29:03,211
This is me.
520
00:29:04,313 --> 00:29:06,742
Really? Is this what
the SEAL teams use?
521
00:29:06,777 --> 00:29:09,448
"Only a fool chooses a horse
by its color."
522
00:29:09,483 --> 00:29:12,319
Right, right.
The Tao-te Ching?
523
00:29:12,354 --> 00:29:15,322
No, it was on the sign
back there at the rental place.
524
00:29:23,970 --> 00:29:25,002
Thank you.
525
00:29:29,877 --> 00:29:35,804
♪ I once had a life
Or rather, life had me ♪
526
00:29:35,839 --> 00:29:38,950
♪ I was one among many ♪
527
00:29:38,985 --> 00:29:42,613
♪ Or at least I seemed to be ♪
528
00:29:42,648 --> 00:29:49,323
♪ Well, I read an old quotation
In a book just yesterday ♪
529
00:29:49,358 --> 00:29:52,359
♪ Said
"Gonna reap just what you sow ♪
530
00:29:52,394 --> 00:29:55,725
♪ The debts you make
You have to pay" ♪
531
00:29:55,760 --> 00:29:57,232
♪ Can you get to that? ♪
532
00:29:58,037 --> 00:29:59,366
What? What?
533
00:30:01,865 --> 00:30:03,975
I was hoping to invite you
to breakfast,
534
00:30:04,010 --> 00:30:06,373
but it looks like
you still have work to do.
535
00:30:07,574 --> 00:30:09,376
Uh, wait, wait, wait.
536
00:30:09,411 --> 00:30:10,916
Wait. Wait, wait, wait.
537
00:30:10,951 --> 00:30:13,050
I believe this says
538
00:30:13,085 --> 00:30:15,184
"rest" or "resting."
539
00:30:15,219 --> 00:30:18,385
So it would be,
"Kalaman and his treasure..."
540
00:30:18,420 --> 00:30:22,895
And then
there are some missing pieces,
and then "rest," "resting,"
541
00:30:22,930 --> 00:30:25,964
and something about
"tears," so...
542
00:30:27,968 --> 00:30:29,066
Resting where?
543
00:30:29,101 --> 00:30:30,430
Hmm? Oh!
544
00:30:30,465 --> 00:30:33,268
Didn't say.
It doesn't say.
545
00:30:34,601 --> 00:30:37,701
Miss Sage,
I need you to do better.
546
00:30:37,736 --> 00:30:41,210
Then next time
maybe don't kidnap
a romance novelist, hmm?
547
00:30:41,245 --> 00:30:43,575
My God,
this shouldn't be this hard!
548
00:30:43,610 --> 00:30:45,610
It is not some pauper's grave
we're looking for.
549
00:30:45,645 --> 00:30:48,085
It is a monument to a great man!
550
00:30:48,120 --> 00:30:50,120
King Kalaman was ambitious,
he was powerful,
551
00:30:50,155 --> 00:30:52,584
he was the first man
to build a city
in the Atlantic.
552
00:30:52,619 --> 00:30:55,290
The eyes of his subjects
would have turned to him.
553
00:30:55,325 --> 00:30:58,623
He would have had a pyramid,
a ziggurat, a tower
554
00:30:58,658 --> 00:31:00,724
to hold his Crown of Fire.
555
00:31:00,759 --> 00:31:03,793
All I need to know
is where it is.
556
00:31:03,828 --> 00:31:06,939
I don't know if you recall,
but you only said translate it.
557
00:31:06,974 --> 00:31:08,908
I-I translated it.
558
00:31:09,900 --> 00:31:11,438
Translate it again.
559
00:31:17,413 --> 00:31:20,315
One day, we're gonna
laugh about this.
560
00:31:20,350 --> 00:31:22,317
Such an adventure
we're having.
561
00:31:25,652 --> 00:31:29,852
I should go with you,
just for backup and awesomeness.
562
00:31:30,822 --> 00:31:32,723
This is pretty awesome.
563
00:31:32,758 --> 00:31:35,330
You got nature, the radio.
564
00:31:36,696 --> 00:31:40,137
Yeah, you're right,
but it's very, very important
to me
565
00:31:40,172 --> 00:31:42,106
that she knows
that I came to rescue her.
566
00:31:42,141 --> 00:31:43,800
Why?
Do you like this woman?
567
00:31:44,968 --> 00:31:47,342
No, I just brought snacks
and stuff.
568
00:31:47,377 --> 00:31:49,674
And she gets a little grumpy
when she's hungry.
569
00:31:49,709 --> 00:31:53,117
Blood pressure drops.
And I get that because I'm
a five-meal-a-day kind of guy.
570
00:31:53,152 --> 00:31:55,680
Do you keto, by the way?
You look like you keto.
571
00:31:55,715 --> 00:31:57,649
No.
No. Yeah.
572
00:31:57,684 --> 00:31:59,453
You don't need it.
573
00:31:59,488 --> 00:32:01,158
What is it?
574
00:32:01,193 --> 00:32:04,788
I just want her to think of me
as more than a cover model.
575
00:32:04,823 --> 00:32:09,199
But, Alan,
you are so much more.
You're my lookout.
576
00:32:09,234 --> 00:32:12,532
Okay, can I at least do the part
where I put her in the car
577
00:32:12,567 --> 00:32:16,041
and I just go,
"Shh. You're safe now"?
578
00:32:17,374 --> 00:32:19,473
Sure, champ.
She'll love that.
579
00:32:19,508 --> 00:32:21,442
Oh, you're just going?
Going to start?
580
00:32:21,477 --> 00:32:23,741
You're starting
the mission now? Okay.
581
00:32:48,031 --> 00:32:50,042
Oh!
582
00:32:59,251 --> 00:33:00,910
Go to sleep.
583
00:33:00,945 --> 00:33:02,648
♪ Take a little walk
To the edge of town ♪
584
00:33:02,683 --> 00:33:05,090
♪ And go across the tracks ♪
585
00:33:06,753 --> 00:33:10,986
♪ Where the viaduct looms
Like a bird of doom ♪
586
00:33:11,021 --> 00:33:15,232
♪ As it shifts and cracks ♪
587
00:33:15,267 --> 00:33:21,106
♪ Where secrets lie
In the border fires
In the humming wires ♪
588
00:33:21,141 --> 00:33:24,406
♪ Hey, man, you know
You're never coming back ♪
589
00:33:24,441 --> 00:33:26,573
♪ Past the square
Past the bridge ♪
590
00:33:26,608 --> 00:33:29,609
♪ Past the mills
Past the stacks ♪
591
00:33:29,644 --> 00:33:30,907
Alan.
What?
592
00:33:30,942 --> 00:33:32,744
This is a breach of trust, Alan.
593
00:33:32,779 --> 00:33:34,548
I can help. Let me help.
594
00:33:34,583 --> 00:33:37,683
♪ A tall handsome man
In a dusty black coat ♪
595
00:33:37,718 --> 00:33:40,059
Stay close. Stay alive.
596
00:33:45,132 --> 00:33:46,164
Hey.
597
00:33:48,927 --> 00:33:51,367
♪ He'll wrap you in his arms ♪
598
00:33:51,402 --> 00:33:53,105
Go to sleep.
599
00:33:53,140 --> 00:33:55,437
♪ Tell you that you've
Been a good boy ♪
600
00:33:55,472 --> 00:33:59,078
I got his head.
What do I do with his head?
I'm just gonna set him down.
601
00:34:05,482 --> 00:34:06,514
No.
602
00:34:07,154 --> 00:34:08,549
Hey, hey, no!
603
00:34:08,584 --> 00:34:09,715
No, no, no!
604
00:34:11,620 --> 00:34:14,324
♪ There won't be a single thing
That you can do ♪
605
00:34:14,359 --> 00:34:17,261
♪ He's a god, he's a man
He's a ghost, he's a guru ♪
606
00:34:17,296 --> 00:34:19,164
Ooh, yeah! Ooh.
607
00:34:19,199 --> 00:34:20,264
Ow.
608
00:34:20,299 --> 00:34:22,057
Teamwork, yeah!
609
00:34:22,092 --> 00:34:25,335
Great effort, Alan, but that man
was already unconscious.
610
00:34:25,370 --> 00:34:26,996
I was already wound up.
611
00:34:28,131 --> 00:34:30,637
Just don't do it
when I'm...
612
00:34:33,708 --> 00:34:35,037
Hi.
613
00:34:37,349 --> 00:34:39,008
-Oh!
614
00:34:40,352 --> 00:34:41,879
On your seven!
615
00:34:46,820 --> 00:34:47,885
Oh!
616
00:34:52,859 --> 00:34:54,925
Trainer, he's not asleep!
617
00:34:54,960 --> 00:34:56,861
Stay-- Stay down. Stay down.
618
00:34:59,668 --> 00:35:02,174
-You're doing great.
-Thanks.
619
00:35:02,209 --> 00:35:04,000
Where you going?
620
00:35:04,035 --> 00:35:06,772
♪ Through the ghettos
And the barrio ♪
621
00:35:06,807 --> 00:35:09,313
♪ And the Bowery and the slums ♪
What?
622
00:35:11,812 --> 00:35:13,152
Loretta Sage?
623
00:35:13,748 --> 00:35:14,813
Yes.
624
00:35:14,848 --> 00:35:16,485
I'm getting you out of here.
625
00:35:17,719 --> 00:35:20,555
Why are you so handsome?
My dad was a weatherman.
626
00:35:22,823 --> 00:35:23,888
A-Alan?
627
00:35:23,923 --> 00:35:26,055
Yeah.
What are you doing here?
628
00:35:26,090 --> 00:35:28,992
-Uh, irregardless,
I'm here to save you.
-That's not...
629
00:35:29,027 --> 00:35:31,093
-I think he meant "regardless."
-Yes.
630
00:35:32,833 --> 00:35:36,868
Ooh, uh, does she need
saving in there, Trainer?
I think she's fine there.
631
00:35:36,903 --> 00:35:39,706
No, no, leave it.
Don't take their stuff.
They'll come after us.
632
00:35:42,513 --> 00:35:44,249
Alan, why do you
keep doing that?
633
00:35:44,284 --> 00:35:46,350
Why do you keep doing that?
I had that one.
634
00:35:46,385 --> 00:35:48,880
It's just getting mean now.
It's unnecessary.
635
00:35:48,915 --> 00:35:50,915
I'm sorry.
I just wanted to get one in.
636
00:35:50,950 --> 00:35:53,918
-Excuse me. Would it be possible
to remove me from the chair?
-No time.
637
00:35:53,953 --> 00:35:56,261
-No time?
There's been so much chitchat.
638
00:35:56,296 --> 00:35:57,757
We should definitely go.
639
00:35:57,792 --> 00:35:59,693
Let's go! Let's go!
640
00:35:59,728 --> 00:36:02,828
♪ We're running with
The shadows of the night ♪
641
00:36:02,863 --> 00:36:06,898
♪ So, baby, take my hand
It'll be all right ♪
642
00:36:06,933 --> 00:36:10,737
♪ They'll come true in the end ♪
643
00:36:25,215 --> 00:36:26,456
Why are things exploding?
644
00:36:33,993 --> 00:36:35,058
I got--
645
00:36:36,831 --> 00:36:37,896
Okay.
646
00:36:38,767 --> 00:36:40,195
Shh...
647
00:36:40,230 --> 00:36:42,197
Shh. You're safe now.
648
00:36:42,232 --> 00:36:43,473
You're...
649
00:36:43,508 --> 00:36:45,772
How-- How are you so calm?
650
00:36:45,807 --> 00:36:48,170
That was my--
That was my line.
Here.
651
00:36:50,350 --> 00:36:52,284
What?
Is that Reiki?
652
00:36:52,319 --> 00:36:54,979
Are you healing me?
I think so.
653
00:36:55,014 --> 00:36:58,290
-Ah.
-As Laozi says,
"To the mind that is still..."
654
00:36:58,325 --> 00:37:01,326
"...the whole universe
surrenders."
Hey, yeah, I know some--
655
00:37:01,361 --> 00:37:03,988
I know some, um, quotes
that could be good
for this moment.
656
00:37:04,023 --> 00:37:05,693
In omnia paratus.
657
00:37:06,795 --> 00:37:08,927
"Ready for anything."
658
00:37:08,962 --> 00:37:11,633
Maybe we shouldn't
be just staring lovingly
into each other's eyes
659
00:37:11,668 --> 00:37:14,801
like you're gonna fall in love
like I'm not here.
660
00:37:15,375 --> 00:37:16,506
Who are you?
661
00:37:16,541 --> 00:37:19,509
Just a guy
trying to do his job.
662
00:37:19,544 --> 00:37:22,105
And right now, that job
is to get this lovely lady--
663
00:37:22,877 --> 00:37:24,613
Oh! Oh.
664
00:37:24,648 --> 00:37:26,285
Oh, God. Okay.
665
00:37:27,717 --> 00:37:29,783
-No. What is happening?
666
00:37:33,316 --> 00:37:35,426
Okay. What do we do?
667
00:37:35,461 --> 00:37:37,659
We need to do-- I can't see.
668
00:37:37,694 --> 00:37:39,089
I don't like it!
669
00:37:39,124 --> 00:37:40,794
Here. Here!
670
00:37:40,829 --> 00:37:43,159
-Why would you throw a gun?
-Seriously?
671
00:37:44,833 --> 00:37:47,504
Get me out of the chair.
I can't. We don't have time.
672
00:37:51,070 --> 00:37:53,268
Gotta squeeze!
You got to do a Kegel
or something!
673
00:37:53,303 --> 00:37:55,644
-Kegel it!
-What do you think a Kegel is?
674
00:37:55,679 --> 00:37:58,141
I'm not in it, not in!
Still not in!
675
00:37:58,176 --> 00:38:00,517
-You got to go in more.
-Stop. Stop. Stop it!
676
00:38:00,552 --> 00:38:02,849
Oh, oh, oh!
677
00:38:02,884 --> 00:38:06,182
Oh, God. Get in the car,
get in the car!
Start the car! Start the car!
678
00:38:06,217 --> 00:38:07,689
-Go, go.
-Move your leg.
679
00:38:07,724 --> 00:38:09,889
Which one?
Both of them! Move them!
680
00:38:13,829 --> 00:38:15,862
Forward, forward!
Okay. Okay.
681
00:38:15,897 --> 00:38:20,064
-I'm going! I'm going! Okay!
-Drive!
682
00:38:21,441 --> 00:38:24,772
Shh. You're safe now. Shh.
683
00:38:26,578 --> 00:38:28,138
Ow.
684
00:38:28,173 --> 00:38:30,206
Shh. You're safe now.
No, I'm not. Not safe.
685
00:38:30,241 --> 00:38:32,241
Oh, no, am I bleeding?
686
00:38:32,276 --> 00:38:35,178
-I don't think that's yours.
-Oh, no, that's a lot of blood.
687
00:38:36,522 --> 00:38:38,390
Cheese and rice!
688
00:38:38,425 --> 00:38:40,084
Are those his brains?
What?
689
00:38:40,119 --> 00:38:42,185
I think his brains
are on my face!
690
00:38:42,220 --> 00:38:45,859
Definitely his brains
are in my mouth.
I can taste his thoughts!
691
00:38:45,894 --> 00:38:47,223
Focus on the road.
692
00:38:47,258 --> 00:38:49,533
He just liked
training people. Trainer.
693
00:38:49,568 --> 00:38:52,503
-What are you talking about?
-He loved me.
694
00:38:52,538 --> 00:38:55,099
Can you just scooch the car
over to the left?
695
00:38:55,134 --> 00:38:58,839
Get it off. Get it off.
Oh, God.
696
00:38:58,874 --> 00:38:59,972
Watch out!
697
00:39:04,242 --> 00:39:07,210
Oh! Oh! Oh!
698
00:39:09,456 --> 00:39:11,148
Oh, did you see...
699
00:39:14,120 --> 00:39:15,152
No.
700
00:39:20,665 --> 00:39:21,829
Oh.
701
00:39:23,393 --> 00:39:25,569
Oh, no. Oh, no.
702
00:39:26,231 --> 00:39:27,604
Oh, no.
703
00:39:36,109 --> 00:39:37,515
Oh, no.
704
00:39:38,342 --> 00:39:40,452
Alan?
705
00:39:40,487 --> 00:39:44,115
Oh, holy Christmas.
Are you okay? Are you okay?
706
00:39:44,150 --> 00:39:46,117
Do you think you could
get me out of here?
707
00:39:46,152 --> 00:39:47,921
Yeah. Okay.
708
00:39:47,956 --> 00:39:50,924
You just flew out of the car.
I did. I did, indeed.
709
00:39:50,959 --> 00:39:52,596
Okay. I got you.
I got you.
710
00:39:52,631 --> 00:39:55,060
Can you get me out of the chair?
Get me out of the chair.
711
00:39:55,095 --> 00:39:56,666
You're right.
You're right. You're right.
712
00:39:58,296 --> 00:40:00,164
Is that--
Is that a nail filer?
Yeah.
713
00:40:00,199 --> 00:40:01,638
Can you just rip it?
It's working.
714
00:40:01,673 --> 00:40:03,574
And maybe next time
I toss a gun at you,
715
00:40:03,609 --> 00:40:05,774
you can catch it
instead of ducking.
716
00:40:05,809 --> 00:40:08,942
How about the next time
you toss a gun at me,
you say, "Hey, Alan, catch"?
717
00:40:08,977 --> 00:40:10,911
Then maybe do that
before you throw it?
718
00:40:10,946 --> 00:40:13,177
Well, "here"
is a synonym for "catch."
719
00:40:13,212 --> 00:40:14,750
No, "here" is not a cinnamon
for "catch."
720
00:40:14,785 --> 00:40:16,950
In a colloquial kind of way,
yes, it is.
721
00:40:16,985 --> 00:40:19,183
You say, "Here,"
I toss you a sweatshirt.
722
00:40:19,218 --> 00:40:21,317
You say, "Here,"
I toss you a pen.
723
00:40:21,352 --> 00:40:24,496
How 'bout just,
"Hey! Catch! Gun!"
724
00:40:24,531 --> 00:40:27,664
Anything that you want
to throw, I'll catch it
because you said, "Catch."
725
00:40:27,699 --> 00:40:29,501
And I'll catch it
because you said it.
726
00:40:29,536 --> 00:40:31,932
That is also an option,
and then we would have a gun
with us.
727
00:40:31,967 --> 00:40:33,164
That's a thing.
728
00:40:33,199 --> 00:40:35,430
Be careful.
Okay, we need to call--
729
00:40:35,465 --> 00:40:37,333
Be careful.
730
00:40:37,368 --> 00:40:39,874
We need to call for help,
get to the airport
and get out of here.
731
00:40:39,909 --> 00:40:41,744
And I am driving.
Okay.
732
00:40:44,177 --> 00:40:46,848
Oh. Oh. Oh, oh, oh, oh!
733
00:40:56,662 --> 00:40:59,190
Okay, call for--
call for help.
734
00:40:59,225 --> 00:41:00,763
Where's your phone?
735
00:41:04,230 --> 00:41:05,262
Okay.
736
00:41:09,037 --> 00:41:11,576
-Tell me you caught them.
-I tagged the blond one.
737
00:41:13,404 --> 00:41:16,306
Oh, Loretta.
738
00:41:16,341 --> 00:41:18,748
What are you thinking?
739
00:41:18,783 --> 00:41:21,751
You might've killed one of them,
but his partner's
still with her.
740
00:41:21,786 --> 00:41:25,414
And he is clearly skilled,
highly trained
741
00:41:26,417 --> 00:41:28,021
and very dangerous.
742
00:41:37,967 --> 00:41:42,167
So, Miss Sage said
she was gonna leave the event,
743
00:41:42,202 --> 00:41:47,073
then got in a car
and left the event?
744
00:41:47,108 --> 00:41:49,680
-Did you try calling her?
-She doesn't have her phone.
745
00:41:49,715 --> 00:41:51,275
Stolen phone.
Didn't say that.
746
00:41:51,310 --> 00:41:53,112
Where's my magnifier?
747
00:41:53,147 --> 00:41:55,444
Listen, can you please
help with Nana?
748
00:41:55,479 --> 00:41:57,754
I don't want her
hearing about Loretta
'cause it's going to upset her.
749
00:41:57,789 --> 00:42:00,757
-What about Loretta?
-Nothing, Nana.
She just went on a trip.
750
00:42:00,792 --> 00:42:02,220
Good.
Yeah.
751
00:42:02,255 --> 00:42:04,959
That girl needed
to get out of the house.
752
00:42:04,994 --> 00:42:09,227
So, this is the thing.
Loretta's phone is not stolen.
I took it.
753
00:42:09,262 --> 00:42:13,704
I gave it to Alan.
Alan then gave it to
the trainer, uh, Jack Trainer.
754
00:42:13,739 --> 00:42:15,937
And that is how we found
her wearable.
755
00:42:15,972 --> 00:42:17,906
And who's Alan?
Dash.
756
00:42:17,941 --> 00:42:20,645
-What's that?
-He's the hero
in all of her books.
757
00:42:20,680 --> 00:42:24,044
-Nana. Hey, slut.
-Mm-mmm.
758
00:42:24,079 --> 00:42:27,080
Let's go in the other room
and talk about whichever war
you lived through.
759
00:42:27,115 --> 00:42:30,149
Okay. Come on, it'll be fun.
I'm sorry. It'll be fun.
760
00:42:30,184 --> 00:42:32,151
Listen,
Loretta Sage is missing.
761
00:42:32,186 --> 00:42:34,582
When I looked at her smartwatch,
it said that she had flown
762
00:42:34,617 --> 00:42:36,287
to some island
I've never even heard about.
763
00:42:36,322 --> 00:42:38,289
That means y'all need
to do something about this.
764
00:42:38,324 --> 00:42:40,665
And if you can't, I will,
and that won't look good
for you.
765
00:42:40,700 --> 00:42:43,459
Pretty sure that's
outside our jurisdiction.
766
00:42:43,494 --> 00:42:46,638
-You'd have to call the Feds.
-Okay.
767
00:42:46,673 --> 00:42:49,003
And if you do go to the Feds,
put in a good word for me.
768
00:42:49,038 --> 00:42:51,335
For me.
For us.
769
00:42:57,013 --> 00:42:58,441
Oh, oh.
770
00:43:05,692 --> 00:43:07,857
What are you gonna do,
put the car back together?
771
00:43:07,892 --> 00:43:09,958
Well... we could--
772
00:43:26,042 --> 00:43:28,812
Where did you say the phone was?
Passenger glove.
773
00:43:28,847 --> 00:43:30,638
What?
Passenger glove compartment.
774
00:43:30,673 --> 00:43:31,716
Goodness.
775
00:43:33,082 --> 00:43:34,818
Oh, my God.
776
00:43:34,853 --> 00:43:37,018
Oh, my God. No phone, no car.
We're so gonna die out--
777
00:43:37,053 --> 00:43:38,822
Here.
What is this?
778
00:43:38,857 --> 00:43:40,417
Boots for the jungle.
779
00:43:41,486 --> 00:43:43,552
It's not exactly
hiking boots, but...
780
00:43:43,587 --> 00:43:46,291
I figured your feet
would be killing you after
wearing heels for this long.
781
00:43:46,326 --> 00:43:48,326
It was the best we could do.
They're Allison's. Sorry.
782
00:43:49,263 --> 00:43:51,461
Oh. Okay, well, thank you.
783
00:43:51,496 --> 00:43:53,331
Here, oh, I got you cheese.
784
00:43:53,366 --> 00:43:55,234
Oh, my God.
You got to stay hydrated.
785
00:43:55,269 --> 00:43:57,236
Thank you so much.
They didn't have
glass bottles,
786
00:43:57,271 --> 00:43:59,073
so we'll definitely
hold onto it and recycle.
787
00:44:02,012 --> 00:44:06,718
Okay, so what we need to do
is find a phone, we need
to call the authorities,
788
00:44:06,753 --> 00:44:09,721
and we need to wait here
until somebody comes
and rescues us.
789
00:44:09,756 --> 00:44:13,252
Uh... This...
This is the rescue.
790
00:44:13,287 --> 00:44:14,726
No one else is coming.
791
00:44:14,761 --> 00:44:16,827
I'm sorry?
I'm the rescue.
792
00:44:16,862 --> 00:44:19,654
It was originally just
gonna be me, then I was like,
Trainer should come.
793
00:44:19,689 --> 00:44:21,656
Oh, Trainer. Rest in peace.
794
00:44:21,691 --> 00:44:26,067
So, our best bet
is to get to the airport.
See this road right here?
795
00:44:26,102 --> 00:44:28,872
From this area,
just take a shortcut
through the jungle to the road.
796
00:44:28,907 --> 00:44:30,599
Did you just say "shortcut
through the jungle"?
797
00:44:30,634 --> 00:44:32,403
Yeah.
Okay, do you see us?
798
00:44:32,438 --> 00:44:34,944
Uh-huh.
You are not Dash,
and I'm not Lovemore. Okay?
799
00:44:34,979 --> 00:44:36,572
I'm Loretta, and you are Alan.
800
00:44:36,607 --> 00:44:39,080
And jungles
eat people like us, okay?
Eat people.
801
00:44:39,115 --> 00:44:42,380
And I don't want to mess up
the jumpsuit. It's on loan.
So we're gonna stay put.
802
00:44:42,415 --> 00:44:44,415
We're not just gonna
stand around here, okay?
803
00:44:44,450 --> 00:44:46,021
We're gonna go
through the jungle,
804
00:44:46,056 --> 00:44:48,254
we're gonna go to the airport
and find a phone,
805
00:44:48,289 --> 00:44:51,389
-so you can have your cake
and get what you want.
-"And eat it too"?
806
00:44:51,424 --> 00:44:53,864
If that's what you want to do
with your cake, fine. Let's go.
807
00:44:53,899 --> 00:44:55,899
-That's the only thing you do
with cake.
-Not mine.
808
00:44:55,934 --> 00:44:58,264
I don't know
what your people do,
but my people eat it.
809
00:44:58,299 --> 00:45:00,695
You could give it
to someone as a gift.
810
00:45:00,730 --> 00:45:02,873
Those people
are still going to eat the cake.
811
00:45:02,908 --> 00:45:04,732
Everybody eats cake.
812
00:45:04,767 --> 00:45:06,569
What about the kind
people jump out of?
813
00:45:06,604 --> 00:45:09,308
They don't eat it,
when they're in it.
Oh, my God.
814
00:45:35,941 --> 00:45:37,501
What did they
kidnap you for anyhow?
815
00:45:37,536 --> 00:45:39,470
Is it some weird sex stuff
like Taken?
816
00:45:39,505 --> 00:45:41,274
Oh, my God, thank you.
817
00:45:41,309 --> 00:45:43,848
I thought so too,
but the guy's one
of the Fairfaxes.
818
00:45:43,883 --> 00:45:45,982
Beverly?
No, the older one.
819
00:45:46,017 --> 00:45:49,645
The really odd one
that had the vlog
on finding Montezuma's treasure.
820
00:45:49,680 --> 00:45:52,087
The dude that was on the news
for trying to raise the Titanic?
821
00:45:52,122 --> 00:45:53,957
Yes, he's looking for
the Crown of Fire.
822
00:45:53,992 --> 00:45:57,961
Wait a minute. Like the actual
Crown of Fire? Like the one...
823
00:45:57,996 --> 00:46:01,294
So those ruins were--
They were
the Lost City of D, yes.
824
00:46:01,329 --> 00:46:03,626
What?
Are you kidding me right now?
Shh.
825
00:46:03,661 --> 00:46:05,529
This is like your book.
826
00:46:05,564 --> 00:46:08,202
So we're basically
on a Lovemore and Dash adventure
right now?
827
00:46:08,237 --> 00:46:10,336
What is that?
828
00:46:10,371 --> 00:46:12,844
What if Fairfax
actually finds the crown?
829
00:46:12,879 --> 00:46:14,439
He won't. He won't.
830
00:46:16,542 --> 00:46:17,772
Where do we go?
Uh...
831
00:46:17,807 --> 00:46:19,543
Oh, oh, oh.
832
00:46:22,845 --> 00:46:24,889
Okay, uh, we need
to get in the water.
833
00:46:24,924 --> 00:46:27,155
W-What?
We need to go by river.
834
00:46:27,190 --> 00:46:29,289
No, no,
I don't really do water.
835
00:46:29,324 --> 00:46:31,621
What do you mean, "do water"?
I'm not asking you
to procreate with it.
836
00:46:31,656 --> 00:46:34,294
Uh, my body and water
don't really go together.
837
00:46:34,329 --> 00:46:36,659
How do you feel about dying?
Oh, God.
838
00:46:36,694 --> 00:46:38,628
Hey. Whoa, whoa, whoa.
You're okay. You're okay.
839
00:46:38,663 --> 00:46:41,532
I got you. Fine.
I can swim. I can swim.
Thank you very much.
840
00:46:41,567 --> 00:46:43,732
Where are you going?
I'm crossing.
841
00:46:43,767 --> 00:46:45,833
No, we have to stay
in the water.
842
00:46:45,868 --> 00:46:48,308
I researched
aquatic counter-tracking
for my book, A Year in the Bush.
843
00:46:48,343 --> 00:46:50,409
They'll lose our tracks
in the water.
844
00:46:50,444 --> 00:46:53,313
Why is it warm here?
Wait, are you peeing?
845
00:46:53,348 --> 00:46:55,051
Just go around it.
846
00:47:24,049 --> 00:47:25,741
Okay, I think...
847
00:47:25,776 --> 00:47:27,743
I think
we lost them, right?
848
00:47:27,778 --> 00:47:30,680
Yeah. That wasn't so bad.
Yeah.
849
00:47:30,715 --> 00:47:32,583
Okay, uh...
850
00:47:32,618 --> 00:47:35,025
Don't panic.
What do you mean, don't panic?
851
00:47:35,060 --> 00:47:36,389
-Just don't panic.
-No.
852
00:47:36,424 --> 00:47:38,259
Stop saying "panic."
I'm panicking now.
853
00:47:38,294 --> 00:47:39,898
You have something
on your back.
854
00:47:41,495 --> 00:47:42,593
No!
855
00:47:42,628 --> 00:47:44,100
Stop screaming.
What is that?
856
00:47:44,135 --> 00:47:45,530
What is that?
Stop screaming.
857
00:47:45,565 --> 00:47:46,971
Do you have any on you?
No. No.
858
00:47:47,006 --> 00:47:48,632
Why don't you have any
on you?
859
00:47:48,667 --> 00:47:50,535
Maybe the jumpsuit
scared them off.
I don't know.
860
00:47:50,570 --> 00:47:52,273
Get 'em off.
Oh, my God.
861
00:47:52,308 --> 00:47:54,803
Okay. No, I can't touch
those blood-gorged mucous sacks.
862
00:47:54,838 --> 00:47:56,211
Can you fling it?
Right now.
863
00:47:56,246 --> 00:47:57,773
Get it.
Just pick it
and fling it.
864
00:47:57,808 --> 00:47:59,775
Just pick it and fling it.
You pick it and fling it!
865
00:47:59,810 --> 00:48:01,986
Can you spin it off?
Please, get it off.
866
00:48:02,021 --> 00:48:04,153
I don't like touching it.
I'm feeling faint.
867
00:48:04,188 --> 00:48:07,222
They're sucking my soul out.
Okay, okay.
Stop, stop, stop.
868
00:48:08,918 --> 00:48:11,127
Don't make that sound.
869
00:48:14,759 --> 00:48:16,231
How many of them are there?
870
00:48:16,266 --> 00:48:17,969
Oh, there's not many.
871
00:48:18,004 --> 00:48:19,894
It feels like there's so many.
What are you--
872
00:48:19,929 --> 00:48:21,401
I feel so many.
Oh!
873
00:48:21,436 --> 00:48:24,173
Holy mother of God!
Why are you praying?
874
00:48:24,208 --> 00:48:27,143
Is it that bad?
It can't be that bad.
Is it that bad? How many?
875
00:48:27,178 --> 00:48:28,573
It's not great.
876
00:48:28,608 --> 00:48:30,476
They're gonna suck
every bit of me out.
877
00:48:30,511 --> 00:48:32,984
Just please stop speaking.
I just need to--
need to get low.
878
00:48:33,019 --> 00:48:34,986
Hold on a second.
879
00:48:35,021 --> 00:48:37,846
Oh, God! I can feel them
just-- they're just
sucking out so much.
880
00:48:37,881 --> 00:48:40,816
I'm gonna be like
a shriveled-up skin sack
when they're done.
881
00:48:40,851 --> 00:48:42,950
You cannot tell my dad
I died this way, okay?
882
00:48:42,985 --> 00:48:47,130
You gotta tell him
I was wrestling an anaconda
with a sword or something.
883
00:48:47,165 --> 00:48:50,001
I'm like a blood Jamba Juice.
They're just sucking it all out.
884
00:48:50,036 --> 00:48:51,662
Why are they all
on my butt though?
885
00:48:51,697 --> 00:48:54,335
Kind of like picking anchovies
off my Caesar salad.
886
00:48:54,370 --> 00:48:56,040
-It's actually not so bad.
-Anchovies?
887
00:48:56,075 --> 00:48:57,866
Why do you go to food
right now?
888
00:48:57,901 --> 00:49:00,836
Just find the queen,
and let's be done with this.
889
00:49:00,871 --> 00:49:03,179
Think you're good.
I need to just check your front.
890
00:49:03,214 --> 00:49:05,313
Okay. I can't look.
891
00:49:07,581 --> 00:49:09,053
Is it bad?
892
00:49:09,088 --> 00:49:12,320
Uh, wow.
What is it? Just say it.
893
00:49:12,355 --> 00:49:15,884
I mean, you expect it to,
you know, not...
894
00:49:15,919 --> 00:49:18,689
Then suddenly there it is,
and it is, uh...
895
00:49:18,724 --> 00:49:21,131
You know, you get excited
for a person.
What?
896
00:49:21,166 --> 00:49:23,793
I mean,
I'm excited for all people.
Why are you excited?
897
00:49:23,828 --> 00:49:26,070
Well, you know, people
wonder, they wonder,
898
00:49:26,105 --> 00:49:27,962
but they don't know, right?
899
00:49:27,997 --> 00:49:30,668
They don't,
until suddenly they do know,
900
00:49:30,703 --> 00:49:34,969
and then they--
they know something
that wasn't known before.
901
00:49:35,004 --> 00:49:36,905
Just--
Do I have any leeches or not?
902
00:49:36,940 --> 00:49:40,975
Oh, your plucky warrior hangs
in tranquil solitude.
903
00:49:41,010 --> 00:49:42,218
What?
904
00:49:42,253 --> 00:49:44,253
No, you're good.
You're good.
905
00:49:45,619 --> 00:49:47,388
We were so brave just then.
906
00:49:47,423 --> 00:49:49,522
Why do they go for the butt
so much?
907
00:50:11,073 --> 00:50:14,008
What's that song
you're singing?
908
00:50:14,043 --> 00:50:16,813
A song
my abbi used to sing to me
when I was a kid.
909
00:50:17,981 --> 00:50:20,718
"If you suck life
from the island...
Yeah?
910
00:50:20,753 --> 00:50:23,787
...the island
will suck of you."
911
00:50:23,822 --> 00:50:27,626
Your grandma sang you songs
about getting sucked off
by an island?
912
00:50:27,661 --> 00:50:29,892
It doesn't translate
super well.
913
00:50:30,961 --> 00:50:33,863
Is phantom leech syndrome,
like, a thing?
914
00:50:33,898 --> 00:50:35,667
They don't lay eggs,
do they?
915
00:51:24,817 --> 00:51:26,047
Queen Taha?
916
00:51:39,799 --> 00:51:44,032
"King Kalaman
and his treasure laid to rest...
917
00:51:45,167 --> 00:51:48,839
laid to rest
in the well of endless tears.
918
00:51:48,874 --> 00:51:50,874
Laid to rest in
the well of endless tears."
919
00:51:50,909 --> 00:51:52,579
What does that mean?
Loretta!
920
00:51:53,417 --> 00:51:55,010
You gave me
a heart attack.
921
00:51:55,848 --> 00:51:57,188
Where'd you go?
922
00:52:01,524 --> 00:52:03,293
What is this?
923
00:52:03,328 --> 00:52:06,164
I'm not sure,
but maybe they gathered here?
924
00:52:09,059 --> 00:52:11,730
Can you imagine
being right here,
925
00:52:11,765 --> 00:52:14,469
right in this very spot
back then?
926
00:52:14,504 --> 00:52:16,471
The stories
that they told?
927
00:52:16,506 --> 00:52:19,001
So much history I'm sure
happened right here.
928
00:52:24,415 --> 00:52:25,975
They've got us cornered.
929
00:52:26,010 --> 00:52:27,911
Okay. We've got to go up.
Come on.
What?
930
00:52:27,946 --> 00:52:30,980
Have you seen what I'm wearing?
I'm in a glitter straitjacket.
931
00:52:31,015 --> 00:52:34,049
There's nowhere to go but up.
Come on. Let's go.
932
00:52:34,084 --> 00:52:37,657
Oh! I should not be doing this.
I'm too old for this.
933
00:52:37,692 --> 00:52:38,889
No, you're not.
You're beautiful.
934
00:52:38,924 --> 00:52:40,594
I didn't say I'm not beautiful.
935
00:52:40,629 --> 00:52:42,827
I said I'm too old
to be doing this.
936
00:52:42,862 --> 00:52:46,501
My skill is sitting and thinking
and eating when I can't think.
937
00:52:46,536 --> 00:52:48,899
Yeah, you definitely
could be wearing
better shoes for this.
938
00:52:48,934 --> 00:52:50,901
You brought me
these shoes.
939
00:52:50,936 --> 00:52:53,508
I can't go any further.
I can't go any further.
940
00:52:53,543 --> 00:52:55,279
I'm not doing
so great here.
941
00:52:55,314 --> 00:52:56,841
You got it. Come on.
942
00:52:56,876 --> 00:52:58,843
I know you think
that you're safer holding on,
943
00:52:58,878 --> 00:53:00,284
but you have to keep going.
944
00:53:00,319 --> 00:53:01,978
I can't. I can't, I can't.
Okay?
945
00:53:02,948 --> 00:53:04,585
Do you smell that?
Smell what?
946
00:53:04,620 --> 00:53:06,422
I smell something.
Is it a predator?
What is it?
947
00:53:06,457 --> 00:53:08,259
A downward cascading fire?
You got to smell deeper.
948
00:53:08,294 --> 00:53:09,590
I don't smell anything!
949
00:53:12,991 --> 00:53:16,190
Take a big, deep breath.
950
00:53:16,225 --> 00:53:17,697
All right.
951
00:53:17,732 --> 00:53:19,567
Good job.
Okay.
952
00:53:19,602 --> 00:53:23,230
That was manipulative.
Thank you.
Yeah, it was.
953
00:53:23,265 --> 00:53:25,738
Here we go. I'm gonna
help you out a little bit,
all right?
954
00:53:25,773 --> 00:53:27,971
-One, two, three... Here we go!
-What are you doing?
955
00:53:28,006 --> 00:53:29,577
Get out of there.
Come on.
956
00:53:29,612 --> 00:53:31,777
No, no, don't flex.
That's my hoo-hoo.
957
00:53:31,812 --> 00:53:34,615
Just ride the head.
Keep the hands moving
and ride the head.
958
00:53:34,650 --> 00:53:36,111
Oh, God.
You're doing great.
959
00:53:36,146 --> 00:53:38,520
Sorry about
the scratchy haircut.
Come on.
960
00:53:58,773 --> 00:54:00,872
Dulcius ex asperis.
961
00:54:01,512 --> 00:54:02,940
What was that?
962
00:54:02,975 --> 00:54:04,744
Oh, nothing.
963
00:54:04,779 --> 00:54:07,109
It was just something
that John and I would say
964
00:54:07,144 --> 00:54:10,420
after we finished
something big, like a...
965
00:54:10,455 --> 00:54:12,488
like an archaeological dig
or a manuscript.
966
00:54:12,523 --> 00:54:15,458
It's Latin. It means
"sweeter after difficulty."
967
00:54:16,857 --> 00:54:18,428
What's...
968
00:54:18,463 --> 00:54:20,463
What's Latin
for "Loretta's a badass"?
969
00:54:20,498 --> 00:54:24,962
I am a badass.
I climbed a mountain.
970
00:54:24,997 --> 00:54:28,031
Oh, my God. I wish Beth
could've seen us do this.
971
00:54:28,066 --> 00:54:30,968
Oh, God. Beth.
Don't worry about Beth.
972
00:54:31,003 --> 00:54:34,708
She's probably got
the whole navy
after us right now.
973
00:54:34,743 --> 00:54:37,942
I get that you think
you have to go to the island
authorities yourself,
974
00:54:37,977 --> 00:54:41,352
but don't worry, I'm keeping
Loretta's socials super active.
975
00:54:41,387 --> 00:54:43,717
Just tweeted,
"Did I just get kidnapped?
976
00:54:43,752 --> 00:54:47,490
#FML, @ShawnMendes,
#ShawnMendes."
977
00:54:47,525 --> 00:54:49,184
And you're traveling alone?
978
00:54:49,219 --> 00:54:51,824
Yes, I'm traveling alone.
Mm-hmm. I'm single.
979
00:54:52,530 --> 00:54:53,859
Then this might work.
980
00:54:53,894 --> 00:54:55,993
Okay! Talk to me.
You'll hit New York.
981
00:54:56,028 --> 00:54:59,227
From there, you'll fly
to Guinea, where you can
pick up a puddle jumper.
982
00:54:59,262 --> 00:55:00,371
A what?
983
00:55:01,506 --> 00:55:02,967
Small plane.
Yeah, no leg room.
984
00:55:03,002 --> 00:55:04,331
That's fine. I'll take it.
985
00:55:04,366 --> 00:55:06,201
Or you could just come home.
Thank you.
986
00:55:14,244 --> 00:55:16,717
We need something
more flammable.
Everything is just so wet.
987
00:55:16,752 --> 00:55:18,246
What's in here?
What's in your bag?
988
00:55:18,281 --> 00:55:20,215
Uh...
Oh, a lot. Okay.
989
00:55:20,250 --> 00:55:21,887
What are you doing?
990
00:55:21,922 --> 00:55:23,856
Okay. Face masks.
991
00:55:23,891 --> 00:55:25,495
Yeah, that was like
a gift-basket thing.
992
00:55:25,530 --> 00:55:27,354
You brought a scented candle
into the jungle?
993
00:55:27,389 --> 00:55:28,828
My mom gave me that.
994
00:55:28,863 --> 00:55:30,599
It was like a weird gift
for Mother's Day.
995
00:55:30,634 --> 00:55:32,568
Your mom gives you gifts
for Mother's Day?
996
00:55:33,901 --> 00:55:35,032
Noir--
997
00:55:35,067 --> 00:55:36,803
Eucalyptus rosemary oil.
Ooh.
998
00:55:37,542 --> 00:55:38,937
Oh, that smells good.
999
00:55:38,972 --> 00:55:41,071
Um-- Oh, okay. All right.
1000
00:55:41,106 --> 00:55:42,941
Whoo! Yes!
1001
00:55:42,976 --> 00:55:45,614
Yes, I made fire!
1002
00:55:45,649 --> 00:55:49,211
-That's pretty impressive.
You have to--
-It is a beautiful fire.
1003
00:55:49,246 --> 00:55:51,246
Who would have thought?
1004
00:55:51,281 --> 00:55:53,424
Oh, you're just, um,
taking your shirt off?
1005
00:55:54,790 --> 00:55:56,856
That looks
really uncomfortable.
1006
00:55:56,891 --> 00:55:58,858
Are you okay? The back?
1007
00:55:58,893 --> 00:56:03,060
Yeah. That is why
I don't do water.
1008
00:56:03,095 --> 00:56:05,601
Okay.
My body becomes
an eighth-grader's face.
1009
00:56:05,636 --> 00:56:08,296
Do you have anything for it?
Like some ointment or something?
1010
00:56:08,331 --> 00:56:10,540
Yeah, I do. Well, I did.
1011
00:56:10,575 --> 00:56:12,542
It was in a little,
tiny little bottle.
1012
00:56:12,577 --> 00:56:14,610
It was this. I'm sorry.
1013
00:56:14,645 --> 00:56:16,777
Oh, God, I'm sorry.
1014
00:56:16,812 --> 00:56:18,306
It's okay.
1015
00:56:18,341 --> 00:56:20,616
-Hold on. Yes.
Come here. Come here.
-What?
1016
00:56:20,651 --> 00:56:23,245
-Come here. Sit down.
-Let me see.
1017
00:56:23,280 --> 00:56:24,752
Just sit down.
Right here?
1018
00:56:24,787 --> 00:56:25,819
Yeah.
1019
00:56:27,086 --> 00:56:29,119
Okay.
1020
00:56:29,154 --> 00:56:30,890
Oh, no,
you don't have to touch it.
It's okay. It's fine.
1021
00:56:30,925 --> 00:56:32,991
I touched
your engorged sacks, so...
1022
00:56:35,160 --> 00:56:36,929
The leeches.
Oh, okay.
1023
00:56:36,964 --> 00:56:39,503
Okay, this might be
a little bit cold.
1024
00:56:40,968 --> 00:56:42,737
Sorry.
Oh, yeah. Mm-hmm.
1025
00:56:42,772 --> 00:56:44,167
Sorry, sorry, sorry.
1026
00:56:44,202 --> 00:56:46,268
Maybe this is how
Dash should die.
1027
00:56:46,303 --> 00:56:49,172
Horrible eczema outbreak.
That's so sexy.
1028
00:56:49,207 --> 00:56:50,679
I could make it work.
1029
00:56:51,209 --> 00:56:52,274
Yeah?
1030
00:56:53,046 --> 00:56:54,375
All right, then.
1031
00:56:55,653 --> 00:56:57,411
How would you write this?
1032
00:56:57,446 --> 00:56:58,819
Okay.
1033
00:57:00,889 --> 00:57:04,121
"Warmed
by the fragrant fire..."
1034
00:57:04,156 --> 00:57:06,827
Mm-hmm.
1035
00:57:06,862 --> 00:57:08,829
Starting strong.
Mm-hmm.
1036
00:57:08,864 --> 00:57:11,832
"Lovemore's hands
explored the...
1037
00:57:13,737 --> 00:57:16,199
the contoured scenery
1038
00:57:16,234 --> 00:57:17,739
of Dash's body.
1039
00:57:20,139 --> 00:57:22,843
Familiar terrain made
1040
00:57:22,878 --> 00:57:25,076
new and exciting
with every...
1041
00:57:26,211 --> 00:57:28,409
with every scarlet rim."
1042
00:57:29,555 --> 00:57:31,181
And that didn't, uh...
1043
00:57:32,184 --> 00:57:33,689
didn't turn her off?
1044
00:57:33,724 --> 00:57:34,756
No.
1045
00:57:35,759 --> 00:57:37,561
"Because with every
cardinal ridge,
1046
00:57:38,762 --> 00:57:41,158
Lovemore discovered
another letter in the language
1047
00:57:41,193 --> 00:57:43,160
that only their bodies spoke."
1048
00:57:44,262 --> 00:57:46,229
And what were
their bodies saying?
1049
00:57:48,200 --> 00:57:49,606
"Take me...
1050
00:57:51,742 --> 00:57:53,269
take me,
1051
00:57:54,008 --> 00:57:55,645
take me."
1052
00:57:55,680 --> 00:57:56,844
How's that?
1053
00:57:57,847 --> 00:57:59,242
It was good.
1054
00:57:59,277 --> 00:58:01,046
Your back.
I mean, how is your back?
Good.
1055
00:58:01,081 --> 00:58:02,685
Okay. You sure?
Yeah.
1056
00:58:02,720 --> 00:58:06,953
I also meant my back.
Right there, yeah.
Okay.
1057
00:58:15,293 --> 00:58:16,358
Supplies.
1058
00:58:18,736 --> 00:58:22,936
Okay, I'm chilly. I think
I'm gonna probably turn in
in a little bit.
1059
00:58:22,971 --> 00:58:24,333
Okay.
You good?
1060
00:58:24,368 --> 00:58:27,039
Yeah, I'm fire-- fine.
I'm fine.
1061
00:58:27,074 --> 00:58:29,778
I'm not "fire."
I'm fine by the fire.
1062
00:58:30,616 --> 00:58:32,275
Okay. All right.
1063
00:58:40,384 --> 00:58:43,858
Uh, it's up to you,
but if you're cold,
1064
00:58:43,893 --> 00:58:47,730
maybe we could probably
both fit in here,
if you wanted to.
1065
00:58:48,557 --> 00:58:50,524
Both of us?
1066
00:58:50,559 --> 00:58:53,461
Only if you want to.
I mean, it's just--
Yeah, no, that sounds...
1067
00:58:53,496 --> 00:58:55,199
Uh...
1068
00:58:55,234 --> 00:58:56,706
Okay. How do you...
1069
00:58:56,741 --> 00:58:58,774
You can go first,
then I'll figure it out.
1070
00:58:58,809 --> 00:59:02,074
No, no, you go.
It's definitely a "ladies first"
type of situation.
1071
00:59:02,109 --> 00:59:04,780
Keep hands out of the bag
at all times.
That's what I was gonna do.
1072
00:59:04,815 --> 00:59:06,474
Butt to butt.
Hands out and butt to butt.
1073
00:59:06,509 --> 00:59:09,785
Yeah. What do I do?
Just get in. Go ahead and sit.
1074
00:59:09,820 --> 00:59:12,447
I sit first?
Okay. I'm in.
1075
00:59:14,253 --> 00:59:16,924
You're too heavy.
You're gonna flip this thing
like a cruise ship.
1076
00:59:16,959 --> 00:59:19,663
You watch yourself.
Hold on. I'm not in.
1077
00:59:19,698 --> 00:59:22,699
Why is this engaging
my core so much?
1078
00:59:23,669 --> 00:59:25,636
How 'bout you shimmy?
1079
00:59:25,671 --> 00:59:27,671
I can't breathe.
I'm not breathing.
Are you good?
1080
00:59:27,706 --> 00:59:28,870
My face.
1081
00:59:29,598 --> 00:59:30,971
Yeah. Okay.
1082
00:59:34,009 --> 00:59:35,470
Hands are out. Butt to butt.
1083
00:59:35,505 --> 00:59:36,537
Okay.
1084
01:00:07,845 --> 01:00:09,438
Well!
1085
01:00:09,473 --> 01:00:10,714
Come on.
1086
01:00:10,749 --> 01:00:12,639
Come on! Let's hear it!
1087
01:00:12,674 --> 01:00:16,148
Let's give
a nice round of applause
to Loretta!
1088
01:00:16,183 --> 01:00:18,018
She earned it.
1089
01:00:18,053 --> 01:00:21,824
A geriatric shut-in
left you holding your dicks
in the jungle.
1090
01:00:21,859 --> 01:00:23,386
Good job, Loretta.
1091
01:00:23,421 --> 01:00:26,158
Boss, come on.
People are dying now.
1092
01:00:26,193 --> 01:00:29,557
Don't you think that maybe
this has all gone too far?
1093
01:00:30,868 --> 01:00:32,835
Is it really worth it?
1094
01:00:32,870 --> 01:00:36,201
I am on the cusp
of attaining the unattainable.
1095
01:00:36,236 --> 01:00:39,336
Something singular,
something no nation,
1096
01:00:39,371 --> 01:00:42,977
no emperor,
no brownnosing brothers
ever have.
1097
01:00:43,012 --> 01:00:45,881
The legendary Crown of Fire.
1098
01:00:46,444 --> 01:00:47,916
So, yes.
1099
01:00:47,951 --> 01:00:50,215
Yes, I would definitely say
it's worth it.
1100
01:00:59,765 --> 01:01:01,490
Excuse me!
1101
01:01:01,525 --> 01:01:04,328
Excuse me, sir. I need to get
to my next connecting flight.
1102
01:01:04,363 --> 01:01:05,835
No flight.
1103
01:01:05,870 --> 01:01:08,662
The pilot is sick.
Come tomorrow.
1104
01:01:08,697 --> 01:01:10,939
No, no, sir.
I cannot come tomorrow.
I need to do this today.
1105
01:01:10,974 --> 01:01:15,537
I need to get to the island
Isla Hundida tonight.
Lives are at stake.
1106
01:01:15,572 --> 01:01:16,945
Come tomorrow.
1107
01:01:20,951 --> 01:01:22,885
Excuse me, miss?
Yes?
1108
01:01:22,920 --> 01:01:26,922
I couldn't help but overhear
you say that you like steak.
1109
01:01:26,957 --> 01:01:30,387
Okay, this is
a little bit crazy,
1110
01:01:30,422 --> 01:01:32,257
but I also like steak.
1111
01:01:32,292 --> 01:01:34,798
What?
I also like steak.
1112
01:01:34,833 --> 01:01:38,263
Would you like to, maybe,
I don't know...
1113
01:01:38,298 --> 01:01:41,200
-Maybe there's a--
-No. "Lives are at stake."
1114
01:01:41,235 --> 01:01:43,037
I need to go
to the island tonight.
1115
01:01:43,072 --> 01:01:44,632
Ah.
Yes.
1116
01:01:44,667 --> 01:01:46,238
Even more serious.
Extremely.
1117
01:01:46,273 --> 01:01:49,406
Well, I believe
that I may be able
to assist you.
1118
01:01:49,441 --> 01:01:51,111
I have a cargo plane.
1119
01:01:52,510 --> 01:01:56,479
Maybe after I make my delivery,
we could swing by your island.
1120
01:01:56,514 --> 01:01:59,119
I'm about to ask you something,
and you better
tell me the truth.
1121
01:01:59,154 --> 01:02:01,088
Have you ever
murdered anyone before?
1122
01:02:01,123 --> 01:02:04,289
No!
1123
01:02:08,130 --> 01:02:10,900
I don't know if I really buy it,
but let me tell you something.
1124
01:02:10,935 --> 01:02:15,102
If you ever think about
murdering me, I promise,
I will murder you first.
1125
01:02:15,137 --> 01:02:16,631
My pleasure.
1126
01:02:16,666 --> 01:02:18,633
You are weird. Let's go.
1127
01:03:14,328 --> 01:03:17,395
"King Kalaman and his treasure
laid to rest in the well
1128
01:03:18,101 --> 01:03:19,496
of endless tears."
1129
01:03:21,335 --> 01:03:22,334
What is that?
1130
01:03:23,733 --> 01:03:27,174
Oh, it's a-- it's a thing.
I mean, it's not, uh...
1131
01:03:27,209 --> 01:03:29,572
You know, it's not
what you think it is.
1132
01:03:29,607 --> 01:03:33,477
So it's not Fairfax's fragment
of an ancient parchment?
1133
01:03:33,512 --> 01:03:37,382
Okay.
It's what you think it is.
1134
01:03:37,417 --> 01:03:39,054
Loretta, I thought
you were smarter than that.
1135
01:03:39,089 --> 01:03:41,683
Fairfax is never
gonna stop hunting us now.
1136
01:03:41,718 --> 01:03:43,058
What were you thinking?
1137
01:03:43,093 --> 01:03:45,159
We have a volcano
that could bury the tomb
1138
01:03:45,194 --> 01:03:48,723
before we get to it,
before we see it,
before we preserve its memory.
1139
01:03:48,758 --> 01:03:50,758
This is--
I'm sorry.
Is that what we're doing?
1140
01:03:50,793 --> 01:03:53,332
'Cause no one told me.
When were you gonna tell me?
1141
01:03:53,367 --> 01:03:54,938
Why would I tell you?
1142
01:03:54,973 --> 01:03:56,764
We're in this together.
I came here to rescue you.
1143
01:03:56,799 --> 01:03:58,535
You know you're not Dash,
right?
1144
01:03:58,570 --> 01:04:00,944
You don't ride in
on a white horse
to rescue people.
1145
01:04:00,979 --> 01:04:05,344
You... spray yourself
with bronzer and you stand
in front of wind machines,
1146
01:04:05,379 --> 01:04:07,016
which is great for you.
1147
01:04:07,051 --> 01:04:09,711
How would you have any idea
what I'm actually like?
1148
01:04:09,746 --> 01:04:12,747
I know you. You're
a pretty open book, Alan.
1149
01:04:12,782 --> 01:04:14,419
-Okay, then who am I?
-Really?
1150
01:04:14,454 --> 01:04:15,486
Yeah.
1151
01:04:17,556 --> 01:04:20,128
O-- Okay, uh...
1152
01:04:20,163 --> 01:04:23,395
You were a homecoming king
and you coasted
on your good looks to LA,
1153
01:04:23,430 --> 01:04:25,936
but then realized that being
the most handsome kid
in the middle of nowhere
1154
01:04:25,971 --> 01:04:27,729
doesn't mean
you're going to be a star.
1155
01:04:27,764 --> 01:04:29,863
Until one day, when a woman
who couldn't publish her book
1156
01:04:29,898 --> 01:04:33,273
on Spanish colonization
in the Atlantic decided
to write a romance novel,
1157
01:04:33,308 --> 01:04:35,539
uh, chose you at random
to be on the cover.
1158
01:04:35,574 --> 01:04:38,982
Lucky for you and her,
the novels were
a smashing success.
1159
01:04:39,017 --> 01:04:42,117
She kept writing her schlock,
you kept posing,
1160
01:04:42,152 --> 01:04:47,584
um, you know,
neither one of us becoming
who we'd hoped we would be.
1161
01:04:47,619 --> 01:04:51,819
Uh, and then one day,
we both die in the jungle
1162
01:04:51,854 --> 01:04:55,559
on one of those Atlantic islands
I wrote about
all those years ago.
1163
01:04:55,594 --> 01:04:56,626
Right?
1164
01:04:58,036 --> 01:04:59,200
Mm-hmm.
1165
01:05:10,807 --> 01:05:12,279
It was Sarasota, by the way.
1166
01:05:12,875 --> 01:05:14,677
It's not nowhere.
1167
01:05:14,712 --> 01:05:16,910
I grew up there with
my mom and two sisters.
1168
01:05:16,945 --> 01:05:17,988
And yeah...
1169
01:05:19,189 --> 01:05:21,915
I started modeling
'cause I wanted to get away.
1170
01:05:21,950 --> 01:05:23,950
It was the only job
that I could think of
1171
01:05:23,985 --> 01:05:27,162
that could take me
to all of the places
that I always dreamed of going.
1172
01:05:27,197 --> 01:05:28,658
Then finally to Los Angeles,
1173
01:05:28,693 --> 01:05:31,694
where I posed on the cover
of your romance novel.
1174
01:05:31,729 --> 01:05:34,499
And I was so embarrassed
that one of my friends
might've seen me
1175
01:05:34,534 --> 01:05:36,798
in that wig
on the cover of your book
1176
01:05:36,833 --> 01:05:39,207
that I avoided talking to them
for months.
1177
01:05:40,408 --> 01:05:41,803
And then one day,
1178
01:05:42,674 --> 01:05:44,608
I'm walking home,
1179
01:05:44,643 --> 01:05:47,479
and I hear this lady yell,
"Dash!"
1180
01:05:47,514 --> 01:05:50,218
She runs up,
and she is so happy.
1181
01:05:50,253 --> 01:05:54,057
Then I thought,
"How could I be this embarrassed
1182
01:05:54,092 --> 01:05:56,422
about something
that makes people this happy?"
1183
01:06:00,065 --> 01:06:01,790
Loretta, you can do
whatever you want.
1184
01:06:01,825 --> 01:06:04,034
If you don't want to
write anymore,
don't write.
1185
01:06:04,069 --> 01:06:08,533
But don't minimize the people
that love your work
by calling it schlock.
1186
01:06:08,568 --> 01:06:11,074
That's not fair to them.
1187
01:06:12,539 --> 01:06:15,309
You know what's ironic?
I thought you of all people
would know
1188
01:06:15,344 --> 01:06:17,674
not to judge a book
by its cover.
1189
01:06:21,944 --> 01:06:24,219
Judge a book
by its cover model.
1190
01:06:55,780 --> 01:06:57,043
Alan?
1191
01:06:57,078 --> 01:06:58,220
Alan.
1192
01:07:10,432 --> 01:07:11,629
There's two of them.
1193
01:07:18,000 --> 01:07:20,440
Loretta! I'm over here!
Alan!
1194
01:07:21,740 --> 01:07:24,906
Alan! Motorcycles and guns,
motorcycles and guns!
1195
01:07:24,941 --> 01:07:26,974
Come on, this way!
1196
01:07:27,009 --> 01:07:28,580
Stop shooting!
1197
01:07:34,082 --> 01:07:36,126
Just give 'em the parchment!
I can't.
1198
01:07:36,161 --> 01:07:38,821
Yes, you can, actually.
You just say, "Here,"
and throw it at 'em.
1199
01:07:38,856 --> 01:07:41,329
Right. And then I'm sure
they'll happily let us go.
1200
01:07:41,364 --> 01:07:43,463
Okay, keep down.
How do they keep finding us?
1201
01:07:43,498 --> 01:07:45,729
You're basically
a walking disco ball.
We need to come up with a plan.
1202
01:07:45,764 --> 01:07:47,170
I have an idea.
1203
01:07:47,205 --> 01:07:48,666
We're gonna dig a hole,
throw our voices.
1204
01:07:48,701 --> 01:07:50,734
"We're over here."
Can you sound like a bird?
1205
01:07:50,769 --> 01:07:53,242
No, I have a plan.
Alan, please, I'm thinking.
1206
01:07:53,277 --> 01:07:57,103
I know, but I have a plan.
Please, just let me think
about...
1207
01:07:57,138 --> 01:08:00,579
Wait a minute.
They're shooting at you.
Yeah, that's why we're hiding.
1208
01:08:00,614 --> 01:08:03,076
No. No, no, no.
They're shooting only at you.
1209
01:08:03,111 --> 01:08:05,815
They won't shoot me.
It's my brain that's valuable.
1210
01:08:05,850 --> 01:08:09,588
What? I don't think
you actually hear the things
you say sometimes.
1211
01:08:09,623 --> 01:08:12,525
Maybe I can shield you.
You are not shielding me.
1212
01:08:12,560 --> 01:08:14,956
I should be shielding you.
Why? Because I'm a woman?
1213
01:08:14,991 --> 01:08:17,959
That's supremely sexist.
Well, look, I don't think
using women as human shields
1214
01:08:17,994 --> 01:08:20,797
is exactly the change
that Gloria Seinfeld
had in mind, do you?
1215
01:08:20,832 --> 01:08:23,932
Gloria Steinem?
Whatever. Her too.
You know what? Fine.
1216
01:08:23,967 --> 01:08:26,935
Please mansplain sexism
to me right now.
Oh, my God. I am a woman.
1217
01:08:26,970 --> 01:08:29,179
I can't mansplain anything.
1218
01:08:29,214 --> 01:08:33,942
Uh, I'm a feminist,
and I think a woman can do
anything a man can do.
1219
01:08:33,977 --> 01:08:36,384
We just need to stay here
until they get tired.
I have an idea.
1220
01:08:36,419 --> 01:08:38,386
Please can I tell you
my plan?
Alan!
1221
01:08:38,421 --> 01:08:41,686
This is not a situation
you can get out of
by ripping your shirt off.
1222
01:08:41,721 --> 01:08:43,424
Not my shirt.
1223
01:09:14,919 --> 01:09:16,391
Three!
1224
01:09:16,426 --> 01:09:17,920
-Yes!
-Oh!
1225
01:09:22,058 --> 01:09:24,234
Oh.
1226
01:09:24,269 --> 01:09:27,666
That was different
than I had in my head.
1227
01:09:27,701 --> 01:09:31,670
I just wanted us to stop them.
Could it have been the wind
that made it do that?
1228
01:09:31,705 --> 01:09:33,903
No, I think it was us.
I think... we did it.
1229
01:09:33,938 --> 01:09:36,543
We did the one guy, right?
But that was, like--
1230
01:09:36,578 --> 01:09:39,876
We just wanted him to stop.
But I think the other guy
could've moved, really.
1231
01:09:39,911 --> 01:09:42,175
So, that was--
that one was on him.
1232
01:09:42,210 --> 01:09:45,112
Even if we weren't here,
that could've happened.
1233
01:09:45,147 --> 01:09:46,916
Why are you gonna stop
next to a cliff?
1234
01:09:46,951 --> 01:09:49,589
They were wearing helmets,
so maybe they're...
1235
01:09:49,624 --> 01:09:51,723
But the rest of their body
didn't have a helmet.
1236
01:09:51,758 --> 01:09:53,087
So there'd just be a head.
1237
01:09:53,122 --> 01:09:55,397
They were driving
recklessly, right?
1238
01:09:55,432 --> 01:09:57,091
Don't be mean on a bike.
1239
01:09:57,929 --> 01:09:59,401
Don't do mean stuff on a bike.
1240
01:10:03,407 --> 01:10:05,770
I mean,
perhaps they're fine.
1241
01:10:05,805 --> 01:10:08,410
Yeah, probably not.
But that's okay.
1242
01:10:08,445 --> 01:10:12,315
That's all right.
You know, things happen.
Let's go.
1243
01:10:14,814 --> 01:10:17,815
-You gonna put it back together?
-It's on loan.
1244
01:10:30,830 --> 01:10:32,995
Look at me.
Okay.
1245
01:10:33,965 --> 01:10:36,229
What more can I do,
you know?
1246
01:10:36,264 --> 01:10:38,264
You've done so much already,
Beth.
1247
01:10:38,299 --> 01:10:41,443
My poor, sweet, little Nana
has lost her sight.
1248
01:10:41,478 --> 01:10:44,237
The book release
is a complete disaster,
1249
01:10:44,272 --> 01:10:45,942
which I've leveraged
everything on,
1250
01:10:45,977 --> 01:10:48,483
so I'm probably,
most definitely
broke right now.
1251
01:10:48,518 --> 01:10:51,684
And most importantly,
I've lost a writer.
1252
01:10:51,719 --> 01:10:53,488
Who does that?
Who loses a writer?
1253
01:10:53,523 --> 01:10:57,954
Okay, Beth, you remind me
of my best friend, Randy.
1254
01:10:57,989 --> 01:11:00,495
Always looking out
for other people,
1255
01:11:00,530 --> 01:11:02,728
never taking care of herself.
1256
01:11:03,962 --> 01:11:05,434
Isn't that right, Randy?
1257
01:11:07,867 --> 01:11:09,801
She's like my therapist,
this one over here.
1258
01:11:09,836 --> 01:11:12,034
LOL. "Laughing Out Loud."
1259
01:11:12,069 --> 01:11:13,838
After you take care
of your friend,
1260
01:11:14,907 --> 01:11:16,445
how about we go to a beach?
1261
01:11:16,480 --> 01:11:18,942
What?
Look, I have a pickup
in Hawaii.
1262
01:11:18,977 --> 01:11:21,010
She doesn't have to come.
1263
01:11:21,045 --> 01:11:23,881
-Okay! Okay, you can come!
1264
01:11:23,916 --> 01:11:25,718
She's hilarious.
1265
01:11:26,688 --> 01:11:28,787
Let me ask you something.
1266
01:11:28,822 --> 01:11:30,855
We're all sitting here
chitchatting,
but who's flying the plane?
1267
01:11:30,890 --> 01:11:32,890
Autopilot.
What?
1268
01:11:32,925 --> 01:11:35,365
Sir, go to the cockpit,
fly the plane.
1269
01:11:35,895 --> 01:11:36,927
Okay.
1270
01:11:37,864 --> 01:11:39,666
I'm going to
go land the plane.
1271
01:11:39,701 --> 01:11:41,327
Okay.
1272
01:11:41,362 --> 01:11:43,329
No, no, no. Take the goat.
Please, take the goat.
1273
01:11:43,364 --> 01:11:45,738
She's on break.
Enjoy the flight!
1274
01:12:21,204 --> 01:12:22,379
Hi.
Hola.
1275
01:12:27,144 --> 01:12:29,881
This English dude came in
and basically kidnapped her.
1276
01:12:32,149 --> 01:12:35,216
Hey, it's Beth.
Please leave a message,
and I'll get right back to you.
1277
01:12:35,251 --> 01:12:38,219
Uh, hi, Beth.
1278
01:12:38,254 --> 01:12:39,352
It's me.
1279
01:12:39,387 --> 01:12:41,156
Uh, I'm alive!
1280
01:12:42,060 --> 01:12:43,895
Uh, listen, um...
1281
01:12:45,261 --> 01:12:46,293
Uh...
1282
01:12:47,835 --> 01:12:51,804
I'm sorry that I
blew up the book tour.
1283
01:12:51,839 --> 01:12:53,872
Um...
1284
01:12:53,907 --> 01:12:56,072
I was just afraid
1285
01:12:57,174 --> 01:12:59,108
and selfish. Uh--
1286
01:12:59,143 --> 01:13:01,913
Oh, here comes Alan.
I'll call you back.
1287
01:13:05,017 --> 01:13:08,150
So, uh, police
are searching for Fairfax,
1288
01:13:08,185 --> 01:13:10,625
and they're gonna provide us
protection while we're here.
1289
01:13:10,660 --> 01:13:12,759
Did they say
how long we'd be here?
1290
01:13:12,794 --> 01:13:15,465
They're gonna try to get us
on a puddle jumper
later this evening.
1291
01:13:15,500 --> 01:13:17,830
But, uh,
they said in the meantime,
the inn is really nice,
1292
01:13:17,865 --> 01:13:20,261
and we can get cleaned up
and maybe a change of clothes.
1293
01:13:20,296 --> 01:13:21,537
Okay.
1294
01:13:25,103 --> 01:13:26,542
Okay. Yeah.
1295
01:14:19,520 --> 01:14:20,860
Thank you.
1296
01:14:21,566 --> 01:14:24,963
Come on.
1297
01:14:24,998 --> 01:14:26,360
Dance with your husband.
1298
01:14:26,395 --> 01:14:28,230
No, no, no.
He's not my husband.
1299
01:14:28,265 --> 01:14:30,232
It's okay.
Dance with him.
1300
01:14:30,267 --> 01:14:32,740
No, no. She doesn't want to.
She doesn't have
the right shoes.
1301
01:14:32,775 --> 01:14:35,303
Actually, it's the only thing
these shoes are right for.
1302
01:14:35,338 --> 01:14:37,503
You don't have to do this.
1303
01:14:37,538 --> 01:14:39,241
It's okay. It's okay.
1304
01:14:40,079 --> 01:14:41,111
Yeah?
1305
01:15:59,796 --> 01:16:01,488
I wonder
what she's saying.
1306
01:16:03,866 --> 01:16:05,327
It's folklore.
1307
01:16:06,770 --> 01:16:09,100
Love song about a woman
1308
01:16:09,135 --> 01:16:12,103
whose lover died,
and she didn't want to
leave his side.
1309
01:16:13,205 --> 01:16:15,975
So she laid down
and refused to get up.
1310
01:16:16,681 --> 01:16:18,681
Must be scary.
1311
01:16:18,716 --> 01:16:22,377
Having to face your future
without the person
that you planned it with.
1312
01:16:34,831 --> 01:16:36,292
What was that?
1313
01:16:38,659 --> 01:16:42,331
Excuse me. Excuse me.
The, um-- the last line
that you sang.
1314
01:16:42,366 --> 01:16:44,674
¿Quién llorará junto a mí?
1315
01:16:47,712 --> 01:16:50,603
"The island will weep for me
in the well of endless tears."
1316
01:16:50,638 --> 01:16:54,013
What is that,
the well of endless tears?
Is that a real place, or...
1317
01:16:54,048 --> 01:16:55,608
Sinkhole place.
1318
01:16:57,480 --> 01:16:59,216
Thank you. Gracias, gracias.
1319
01:16:59,251 --> 01:17:01,152
Come here, come here.
What is it?
1320
01:17:02,892 --> 01:17:04,991
Hey, on the parchment,
it said,
1321
01:17:05,026 --> 01:17:08,995
"King Kalaman
and his treasure laid to rest
in the well of endless tears."
1322
01:17:09,030 --> 01:17:10,931
I thought
maybe it was a metaphor.
1323
01:17:11,494 --> 01:17:13,329
It's not.
1324
01:17:13,364 --> 01:17:16,299
The Well of Endless Tears
is a place.
1325
01:17:16,334 --> 01:17:18,400
It's a sinkhole.
1326
01:17:18,435 --> 01:17:20,501
There's a sinkhole
on the map.
1327
01:17:21,911 --> 01:17:23,911
I think the tomb is there.
1328
01:17:23,946 --> 01:17:26,309
This is so much better
than your books.
What?
1329
01:17:26,344 --> 01:17:28,014
There's like--
No, I don't mean any offense.
1330
01:17:28,049 --> 01:17:30,016
I'm kidding. I'm kidding.
It's, like, equal.
1331
01:17:30,051 --> 01:17:32,183
I'm kidding. I'm kidding.
Look at you.
You want to go there.
1332
01:17:32,218 --> 01:17:34,350
What? No.
I can see. Yes, you do.
1333
01:17:34,385 --> 01:17:37,584
That would be insane.
That would be insane.
I just-- I just--
1334
01:17:37,619 --> 01:17:41,764
It's just that
we're so close to it,
but, you know, we can't--
1335
01:17:41,799 --> 01:17:43,260
No.
1336
01:17:43,295 --> 01:17:45,933
This is your story.
How do you want to write it?
1337
01:17:46,903 --> 01:17:49,167
I'd like to know
that it's there,
1338
01:17:49,202 --> 01:17:50,872
that all this
meant something.
1339
01:17:50,907 --> 01:17:53,039
Okay. Then let's go.
1340
01:17:53,074 --> 01:17:55,041
We'll stay one more day.
As soon as the sun's up,
1341
01:17:55,076 --> 01:17:56,779
we're gonna go find
the Well of Endless Tears.
1342
01:17:56,814 --> 01:17:59,540
But what if it's nothing?
So what? Then we say we tried.
1343
01:17:59,575 --> 01:18:01,179
And Fairfax?
1344
01:18:01,214 --> 01:18:03,280
The cops are after Fairfax.
Don't worry about him.
1345
01:18:04,382 --> 01:18:05,447
This is crazy.
1346
01:18:05,482 --> 01:18:07,515
Yeah, but look at you.
What?
1347
01:18:07,550 --> 01:18:09,990
It's the very first time
I've ever seen you
totally unafraid.
1348
01:18:10,751 --> 01:18:12,718
And alive.
1349
01:18:12,753 --> 01:18:15,259
I'm gonna go tell them
our plans have changed
and find us a ride.
1350
01:18:15,294 --> 01:18:16,623
Where are you going?
1351
01:18:20,431 --> 01:18:22,596
I see you met
my friend here.
1352
01:18:22,631 --> 01:18:27,040
He told me you were just
about to jump on a plane,
1353
01:18:27,075 --> 01:18:29,702
without so much as
saying goodbye.
1354
01:18:29,737 --> 01:18:33,310
I said, "No way.
Not my Loretta.
1355
01:18:33,345 --> 01:18:37,479
Not when she's the only one
who can lead me to the tomb."
1356
01:18:40,990 --> 01:18:42,825
Stop squeezing so hard.
1357
01:18:43,861 --> 01:18:46,620
Ow. Get your hands off of me!
1358
01:18:47,425 --> 01:18:49,293
Ow! Let go!
1359
01:18:49,867 --> 01:18:51,229
I-I need a car.
1360
01:18:51,264 --> 01:18:52,934
A car, an auto.
Does anybody have an auto?
1361
01:19:01,505 --> 01:19:02,603
No, no. No.
1362
01:19:03,474 --> 01:19:04,737
I-I-I need an auto.
1363
01:19:04,772 --> 01:19:06,343
I'll trade you my watch.
1364
01:19:06,378 --> 01:19:07,916
It's a really expensive watch.
Do you have a car?
1365
01:19:07,951 --> 01:19:09,445
It's a Bulgari.
This thing glows in the dark.
1366
01:19:09,480 --> 01:19:10,985
It's waterproof.
I have motorcycle.
1367
01:19:24,726 --> 01:19:26,759
Cool, isn't it?
1368
01:19:26,794 --> 01:19:29,839
I always thought,
why can't your personal tank
also have a minibar?
1369
01:19:29,874 --> 01:19:31,533
Have a drink.
1370
01:19:31,568 --> 01:19:33,139
Do you mind?
1371
01:19:33,174 --> 01:19:34,767
Uh, yes.
1372
01:19:34,802 --> 01:19:37,044
He has a bit of a grudge
against you, I'm afraid.
1373
01:19:37,079 --> 01:19:39,673
Something about
a motorbike accident
his friends had?
1374
01:19:39,708 --> 01:19:41,048
Why are you doing this?
1375
01:19:41,083 --> 01:19:42,819
I want something
nobody else has.
1376
01:19:43,888 --> 01:19:45,481
When my father gifted--
1377
01:19:48,519 --> 01:19:50,288
As I was saying,
1378
01:19:50,323 --> 01:19:53,324
when my father gifted
his empire
1379
01:19:53,359 --> 01:19:55,689
-to my baby brother--
1380
01:20:02,764 --> 01:20:04,203
Who is that?
1381
01:20:13,082 --> 01:20:15,082
Is that a Ken doll
on a moped?
1382
01:20:16,085 --> 01:20:17,810
I know him from somewhere.
1383
01:20:17,845 --> 01:20:19,515
Oh, I-I-I doubt that.
1384
01:20:19,550 --> 01:20:21,891
Because what
you are looking at
1385
01:20:21,926 --> 01:20:24,894
is a highly trained
combat specialist,
1386
01:20:24,929 --> 01:20:28,524
forged in the furnaces
of Afghanistan, Iraq,
1387
01:20:28,559 --> 01:20:31,164
Kuwait, Sa-- Sarasota...
1388
01:20:31,199 --> 01:20:33,397
Incredible skin.
No eczema problems.
1389
01:20:33,432 --> 01:20:37,104
And he will not stop
until I am safe!
1390
01:20:37,139 --> 01:20:39,502
So you pull
this space tank over,
1391
01:20:39,537 --> 01:20:42,835
unless you would like to perish
like his friends did.
1392
01:20:42,870 --> 01:20:46,245
And he is responsible
for their perishment.
1393
01:20:46,280 --> 01:20:48,951
He might not have meant to,
1394
01:20:48,986 --> 01:20:52,119
but they... perished, so...
1395
01:21:07,268 --> 01:21:08,630
Okay, who-who is this?
1396
01:21:08,665 --> 01:21:10,335
I have seen him
somewhere before.
1397
01:21:12,933 --> 01:21:14,306
No, no, no.
1398
01:21:14,341 --> 01:21:16,077
That's your cover model,
isn't it?
1399
01:21:16,112 --> 01:21:18,277
Yes. I knew
I knew him from somewhere.
1400
01:21:19,346 --> 01:21:20,543
Get up there.
1401
01:21:20,578 --> 01:21:22,116
And kill him creatively.
1402
01:21:22,151 --> 01:21:24,151
I love watching hunks fail.
1403
01:21:26,353 --> 01:21:28,584
I guess I-I will
have that drink.
1404
01:21:30,423 --> 01:21:31,818
Oh, shit.
1405
01:21:31,853 --> 01:21:34,425
Is it okay
if I just top 'er off?
1406
01:21:34,460 --> 01:21:35,789
Yeah, that's fine, but--
1407
01:21:35,824 --> 01:21:37,626
Oh, my God,
have you used a glass before?
1408
01:21:37,661 --> 01:21:39,232
Sorry.
1409
01:21:39,267 --> 01:21:40,629
What would
Jack Trainer do?
1410
01:21:42,831 --> 01:21:44,006
It's hot in here.
1411
01:21:44,041 --> 01:21:47,174
Anyone else feeling
how hot it is?
1412
01:21:47,209 --> 01:21:48,406
Are you trying to be sexy?
1413
01:21:48,441 --> 01:21:50,276
This is very weird.
Please, stop.
1414
01:21:50,311 --> 01:21:51,948
I could set your world
on fire.
1415
01:22:02,818 --> 01:22:05,093
Go to sleep! Go to sleep!
1416
01:22:05,128 --> 01:22:06,820
Go to sleep! Sleep!
1417
01:22:09,297 --> 01:22:11,198
Whoa, whoa, whoa.
1418
01:22:11,233 --> 01:22:12,430
Time-out.
1419
01:22:12,465 --> 01:22:13,398
Time-in!
1420
01:22:19,406 --> 01:22:21,978
No! Don't shoot her!
I need her!
1421
01:22:24,004 --> 01:22:25,674
Oh, Jesus!
1422
01:22:25,709 --> 01:22:27,016
Ow, ow, ow.
1423
01:22:31,154 --> 01:22:33,484
Move your foot! Move your foot!
1424
01:22:36,753 --> 01:22:38,852
-Go to sleep, asshole.
1425
01:22:38,887 --> 01:22:40,557
Get out there! Look!
1426
01:22:45,267 --> 01:22:46,497
A bigger guy?
1427
01:22:46,532 --> 01:22:47,828
Oh, no.
1428
01:22:49,238 --> 01:22:50,270
What?
1429
01:22:52,901 --> 01:22:53,867
Move it!
1430
01:22:55,706 --> 01:22:57,772
No, no, no. No, no, no.
1431
01:22:58,610 --> 01:23:00,544
Hey! Get in.
1432
01:23:01,085 --> 01:23:02,051
Him or me?
1433
01:23:06,618 --> 01:23:11,324
This is not one of
your cheap, vapid
lady-fantasy books, Loretta.
1434
01:23:11,359 --> 01:23:13,062
This is real life.
1435
01:23:14,230 --> 01:23:16,164
And we will kill him.
1436
01:23:16,199 --> 01:23:17,858
Tell us where the tomb is.
1437
01:23:32,644 --> 01:23:34,116
Hi.
So, whoever's in charge,
1438
01:23:34,151 --> 01:23:36,547
I need you to send
officials to go here.
1439
01:23:36,582 --> 01:23:37,746
Here.
1440
01:23:38,914 --> 01:23:40,749
We are closed.
1441
01:23:40,784 --> 01:23:42,058
You're closed?
1442
01:23:44,425 --> 01:23:47,426
You know I've been
trying to take a nap
for a year and a half?
1443
01:23:47,461 --> 01:23:48,922
A year and a half.
1444
01:23:50,057 --> 01:23:53,058
I have been burning the candle
at both ends,
1445
01:23:53,093 --> 01:23:54,598
the midnight oil,
1446
01:23:54,633 --> 01:23:57,601
since way before
my friend got kidnapped.
1447
01:23:57,636 --> 01:23:59,240
And all I want to do
1448
01:23:59,902 --> 01:24:02,210
is kick my feet back
1449
01:24:02,245 --> 01:24:03,607
and drink some wine
1450
01:24:03,642 --> 01:24:06,071
that I'm probably
too tired to drink.
1451
01:24:06,106 --> 01:24:08,249
And I want a massage.
1452
01:24:08,284 --> 01:24:12,946
I want someone to massage
my shoulders and my feet,
1453
01:24:12,981 --> 01:24:15,124
and I want it at the same time.
1454
01:24:15,159 --> 01:24:18,919
And I don't care if logistically
that doesn't make sense.
1455
01:24:18,954 --> 01:24:21,295
Because I have worked hard.
1456
01:24:22,331 --> 01:24:24,694
The same way that
I know that you have.
1457
01:24:25,796 --> 01:24:28,137
So I hate to ask you
1458
01:24:28,172 --> 01:24:30,502
to leave this place open
a few more minutes,
1459
01:24:30,537 --> 01:24:32,504
because if we don't,
1460
01:24:32,539 --> 01:24:36,145
a very close friend of mine
and her cover model
1461
01:24:36,180 --> 01:24:37,872
are going to die.
1462
01:25:00,864 --> 01:25:02,435
No good way in, boss!
1463
01:25:02,470 --> 01:25:04,371
What about the caves?
1464
01:25:05,341 --> 01:25:06,934
That's too dangerous!
1465
01:25:06,969 --> 01:25:09,673
Well,
we'll be very careful then.
1466
01:25:23,392 --> 01:25:24,556
Well, come on!
1467
01:25:29,365 --> 01:25:31,233
This way.
I have a rule about
1468
01:25:31,268 --> 01:25:32,828
not going into
super creepy caves.
1469
01:25:44,380 --> 01:25:47,381
Julian?
His name is Julian?
1470
01:25:47,416 --> 01:25:50,175
He seems more like
a Buck or a Bruce.
1471
01:25:50,210 --> 01:25:51,583
Lead the way.
1472
01:25:55,424 --> 01:25:57,589
Go on. Don't be scared.
1473
01:26:27,555 --> 01:26:29,357
Watch your step there.
1474
01:26:29,392 --> 01:26:30,721
Bruce!
1475
01:26:30,756 --> 01:26:31,854
Julian. Oh, no!
Julian!
1476
01:26:31,889 --> 01:26:33,526
Whoa.
1477
01:26:33,561 --> 01:26:34,956
Whoa.
1478
01:26:35,662 --> 01:26:37,123
Well...
1479
01:26:38,126 --> 01:26:39,895
Let's not have
his death be in vain.
1480
01:26:39,930 --> 01:26:42,733
-Onward and upward.
-What do you mean onward?
1481
01:26:42,768 --> 01:26:45,197
We're not gonna go
and get him now, are we?
1482
01:26:45,232 --> 01:26:46,473
Oh, man.
1483
01:26:59,147 --> 01:27:00,817
It's nothing.
Okay.
1484
01:27:00,852 --> 01:27:03,589
Yeah. Look, let's just
go back to the boat.
1485
01:27:03,624 --> 01:27:05,558
This is over.
Nobody else has to die.
1486
01:27:05,593 --> 01:27:07,890
No, no, no. Ha-ha!
It's a breeze.
1487
01:27:07,925 --> 01:27:10,563
There's a tunnel.
This could lead to the tomb.
1488
01:27:10,598 --> 01:27:12,499
That's not person-sized.
Ah, speak for yourself.
1489
01:27:12,534 --> 01:27:14,732
Come on.
It's practically
a kiddie slide.
1490
01:27:14,767 --> 01:27:17,262
More like
a rock sphincter.
Or a troll anus.
1491
01:27:17,297 --> 01:27:19,638
All right, well, you are
going through the anus--
1492
01:27:19,673 --> 01:27:21,134
the hole-- the tunnel!
1493
01:27:21,169 --> 01:27:23,268
Why her?
You are our canary
in the coal mine.
1494
01:27:23,303 --> 01:27:24,742
No, that's impossible.
I can't.
1495
01:27:24,777 --> 01:27:26,414
Please let us know
if you get through.
1496
01:27:26,449 --> 01:27:28,680
If we don't hear from you,
Fabio's got to die.
1497
01:27:28,715 --> 01:27:30,715
Wait,
I'm the damsel in distress?
1498
01:27:31,454 --> 01:27:32,651
It's okay. I'm fine.
1499
01:28:08,854 --> 01:28:11,283
I can't.
I'm so sorry. I can't.
1500
01:28:11,318 --> 01:28:12,988
-Hey.
-What?
1501
01:28:13,859 --> 01:28:16,123
Hey, you smell that?
1502
01:28:16,158 --> 01:28:18,961
You mean centuries
worth of bat feces?
Yes, I definitely smell that.
1503
01:28:18,996 --> 01:28:21,029
You gotta take
a big breath for me.
1504
01:28:26,168 --> 01:28:27,706
There you go.
1505
01:28:27,741 --> 01:28:29,378
You can do it, Loretta.
1506
01:28:42,558 --> 01:28:45,350
I think I see a way out.
1507
01:28:48,927 --> 01:28:50,960
Oh, cheese and rice!
1508
01:28:55,736 --> 01:28:57,032
I made it!
1509
01:28:57,067 --> 01:28:58,737
I made it!
1510
01:28:58,772 --> 01:29:01,201
-See? Totally safe.
1511
01:29:02,138 --> 01:29:03,269
Go on. Your turn.
1512
01:29:05,108 --> 01:29:07,779
I'm coming through!
Be right there, okay?
1513
01:30:12,274 --> 01:30:14,208
Why would they
build this here?
1514
01:30:15,552 --> 01:30:17,310
But how is anyone
supposed to worship
1515
01:30:17,345 --> 01:30:19,081
or remember you
if they can't even see it?
1516
01:30:19,116 --> 01:30:21,017
They aren't.
1517
01:30:21,052 --> 01:30:23,789
This isn't a monument
to Kalaman's power.
1518
01:30:25,155 --> 01:30:27,694
It's a hiding place
for a grieving woman.
1519
01:30:27,729 --> 01:30:31,126
Taha came here
to be with her fallen lover.
1520
01:30:32,899 --> 01:30:34,327
She just wanted
to be alone.
1521
01:30:36,034 --> 01:30:37,605
Taha doesn't want us here.
1522
01:30:37,640 --> 01:30:39,134
God, shut up, Rafi.
1523
01:30:39,169 --> 01:30:40,740
It's just the volcano.
1524
01:30:42,579 --> 01:30:43,710
Come on.
1525
01:30:49,146 --> 01:30:50,486
We have to keep going.
1526
01:30:58,859 --> 01:31:00,419
All right.
Let's go, Muscles.
1527
01:31:01,323 --> 01:31:03,290
Open it up.
1528
01:31:03,325 --> 01:31:05,963
-Don't disturb them.
-She will be wearing
the headdress.
1529
01:31:05,998 --> 01:31:08,394
Come on.
We didn't come all this way
just to pay our respects.
1530
01:31:08,429 --> 01:31:10,033
I can't, um...
1531
01:31:12,939 --> 01:31:15,005
Uh...
I'm sorry, abuela.
1532
01:31:36,226 --> 01:31:37,731
What is that?
1533
01:31:39,867 --> 01:31:42,131
Are those... seashells?
1534
01:31:43,068 --> 01:31:46,003
The crown is made of seashells?
1535
01:31:46,038 --> 01:31:47,466
Where's the treasure?
1536
01:31:48,436 --> 01:31:49,776
She's holding him.
1537
01:31:52,781 --> 01:31:54,473
You mean the dead guy?
1538
01:32:01,053 --> 01:32:02,085
Look.
1539
01:32:04,287 --> 01:32:06,056
It's their courtship.
1540
01:32:06,091 --> 01:32:09,730
Kalaman is searching the island
for something.
1541
01:32:12,801 --> 01:32:14,603
Rare red seashells.
1542
01:32:14,638 --> 01:32:19,465
To prove his love,
he gave her one shell
every day for a year
1543
01:32:19,500 --> 01:32:21,302
and made them into a crown,
1544
01:32:21,337 --> 01:32:24,140
bright red like
the flame of their love,
1545
01:32:24,175 --> 01:32:27,539
until the day came
where she accepted his proposal.
1546
01:32:27,574 --> 01:32:29,618
It was never about jewels.
1547
01:32:29,653 --> 01:32:33,116
Kalaman and Taha's riches
weren't material.
1548
01:32:35,252 --> 01:32:37,252
It was their love.
1549
01:32:37,287 --> 01:32:39,551
That's what it meant.
That was enough.
1550
01:32:39,586 --> 01:32:40,629
So that's it?
1551
01:32:41,764 --> 01:32:44,666
All of that time
and money
1552
01:32:45,669 --> 01:32:49,264
spent on, what,
just a cheap metaphor?
1553
01:32:49,299 --> 01:32:52,135
It's a pretty rich metaphor.
Oh, shut up!
1554
01:32:52,170 --> 01:32:54,269
-We got to go. We got to go now.
1555
01:32:54,304 --> 01:32:57,569
-Come on. Let's go.
-No, no, no.
You are staying here.
1556
01:32:57,604 --> 01:32:59,780
You think it's all
so sweet and poetic.
1557
01:32:59,815 --> 01:33:02,277
Well, then you can stay here
and spend your last moments
1558
01:33:02,312 --> 01:33:04,983
pondering the richness
of that metaphor.
1559
01:33:05,821 --> 01:33:08,283
-Get in.
-What? Come on, man.
1560
01:33:08,318 --> 01:33:10,956
-Oh, God. Just get in.
Get in the tomb.
-Okay, okay.
1561
01:33:10,991 --> 01:33:13,618
It's better
to be buried alive
than buried dead, I guess.
1562
01:33:13,653 --> 01:33:16,929
-It's really not.
-You know, it is a shame,
really.
1563
01:33:16,964 --> 01:33:18,667
This is a hell of a story.
1564
01:33:18,702 --> 01:33:21,428
Pity you won't be around
to tell it. Come on.
1565
01:33:21,463 --> 01:33:23,265
-But they'll die.
-So will you
1566
01:33:23,300 --> 01:33:25,564
if you don't stop
being such a snowflake!
Get over here!
1567
01:33:35,246 --> 01:33:37,378
This is fine.
This is not an active nightmare
1568
01:33:37,413 --> 01:33:38,753
I've had since
I was 14 years old.
1569
01:33:42,418 --> 01:33:45,859
Why are you going so fast?
It's not a race.
1570
01:33:51,097 --> 01:33:53,625
Wait, no! What are you doing?
Come back here!
1571
01:33:53,660 --> 01:33:58,003
You may have bought the island,
but now the island owns you!
1572
01:33:59,006 --> 01:34:00,401
You can't just
leave me here!
1573
01:34:02,405 --> 01:34:04,680
Rafi! Come back!
1574
01:34:07,212 --> 01:34:08,409
I need a boat!
1575
01:34:17,926 --> 01:34:19,860
Hey, hey, stop! Stop!
1576
01:34:22,095 --> 01:34:23,996
Help! Help!
1577
01:34:24,031 --> 01:34:26,262
One of the locals
just stole my boat!
1578
01:34:26,297 --> 01:34:28,066
Have you seen a woman?
1579
01:34:28,101 --> 01:34:31,366
She's a brunette
in a sequined jumpsuit.
1580
01:34:31,401 --> 01:34:35,205
No. Is she in some sort
of trouble?
1581
01:34:46,988 --> 01:34:48,647
It's kind of funny.
1582
01:34:50,156 --> 01:34:52,057
I used to think this...
1583
01:34:52,092 --> 01:34:54,059
this sort of thing
was so romantic.
1584
01:34:54,094 --> 01:34:55,621
Yeah?
1585
01:34:55,656 --> 01:34:58,899
Being locked in a coffin
about to be buried by lava,
1586
01:34:58,934 --> 01:35:01,429
or... cuddling dead people?
1587
01:35:02,399 --> 01:35:05,301
Just laying down
with a lost love.
1588
01:35:05,336 --> 01:35:06,808
Like Taha did.
1589
01:35:09,307 --> 01:35:10,339
God.
Oh...
1590
01:35:11,078 --> 01:35:12,374
Oh, God.
1591
01:35:12,409 --> 01:35:14,981
I'm sorry.
1592
01:35:15,016 --> 01:35:17,445
I'm sorry that
I couldn't save you.
1593
01:35:17,480 --> 01:35:19,249
I'm sorry I couldn't be Dash.
1594
01:35:19,856 --> 01:35:21,020
You're right.
1595
01:35:22,320 --> 01:35:24,122
You're nothing like Dash.
1596
01:35:24,157 --> 01:35:27,290
You didn't ride in
on a white horse
to save me.
1597
01:35:27,325 --> 01:35:32,427
You rode in on a...
borrowed scooter
with a broken muffler.
1598
01:35:33,837 --> 01:35:35,430
Yeah.
1599
01:35:35,465 --> 01:35:38,103
I never could've written
a Dash like you.
1600
01:35:40,206 --> 01:35:41,876
'Cause I never knew
1601
01:35:42,769 --> 01:35:44,813
a Dash like Alan.
1602
01:35:44,848 --> 01:35:47,277
I was so afraid
of being hurt by life again
1603
01:35:47,312 --> 01:35:48,850
that I just stopped living.
1604
01:35:48,885 --> 01:35:50,984
Couldn't see the good things
in front of me.
1605
01:35:51,019 --> 01:35:54,218
I'm just so sorry
I didn't see you sooner.
1606
01:35:55,386 --> 01:35:57,287
I have a confession too.
1607
01:35:57,322 --> 01:36:01,291
See, I was really liking
where this new story of ours
was headed.
1608
01:36:01,326 --> 01:36:04,162
I just wanted to see how
it was gonna turn out, I guess.
1609
01:36:05,726 --> 01:36:07,968
The Adventures
of Loretta and Alan.
1610
01:36:10,335 --> 01:36:12,335
No, it would need
a better title than that.
1611
01:36:12,370 --> 01:36:14,139
Yeah, definitely.
Definitely.
1612
01:36:15,505 --> 01:36:19,012
Sorry. Just...
Taha's femur is poking me.
1613
01:36:22,886 --> 01:36:24,886
Rafi must have
left that.
1614
01:36:24,921 --> 01:36:27,482
How do you forget your crowbar?
It's gonna help us escape.
1615
01:36:27,517 --> 01:36:29,154
No, he left it
on purpose.
1616
01:36:29,189 --> 01:36:30,892
Oh, cool. I always liked him.
1617
01:36:30,927 --> 01:36:32,520
One...
Okay.
1618
01:36:32,555 --> 01:36:34,654
...two, three!
Okay.
1619
01:36:34,689 --> 01:36:38,196
I would've preferred him
to not leave us here
in the first place, but...
1620
01:36:39,034 --> 01:36:39,901
Okay.
1621
01:37:00,781 --> 01:37:02,858
Dulcius ex asperis.
1622
01:37:07,590 --> 01:37:09,128
Sweeter after difficulty.
1623
01:37:15,939 --> 01:37:17,268
Go up!
Run for the trees!
1624
01:37:18,733 --> 01:37:21,404
Wait. Nope. Never mind.
Trees are on fire.
1625
01:37:21,945 --> 01:37:23,571
Okay.
1626
01:37:25,278 --> 01:37:26,882
We can go back
through the tunnel.
1627
01:37:28,083 --> 01:37:29,214
Nope. Tunnel's a no-go.
1628
01:37:34,584 --> 01:37:36,617
Um, okay.
I'm open to other ideas.
1629
01:37:36,652 --> 01:37:40,192
There's a current.
We can follow it into the ocean.
1630
01:37:40,227 --> 01:37:41,787
How do we know
what's on the other side?
1631
01:37:42,328 --> 01:37:43,294
We don't.
1632
01:37:45,298 --> 01:37:47,265
There's only one way
to find out.
1633
01:37:48,895 --> 01:37:50,499
Worth the rash.
Yeah?
1634
01:38:11,423 --> 01:38:12,455
Alan?
1635
01:38:21,004 --> 01:38:22,036
Alan!
1636
01:38:59,570 --> 01:39:00,635
Alan?
1637
01:39:00,670 --> 01:39:03,341
A-- Alan?
1638
01:39:04,575 --> 01:39:05,640
Alan!
1639
01:39:08,909 --> 01:39:10,942
Oh, my God! You're alive!
1640
01:39:10,977 --> 01:39:13,153
I'm alive.
Oh, my God.
I thought I killed you.
1641
01:39:16,015 --> 01:39:17,058
Is that Beth?
1642
01:39:17,093 --> 01:39:18,158
Loretta!
1643
01:39:18,919 --> 01:39:20,226
Beth!
1644
01:39:20,261 --> 01:39:21,953
Beth!
Beth!
1645
01:39:21,988 --> 01:39:23,031
Beth!
1646
01:39:28,830 --> 01:39:30,071
Beth, you're here!
1647
01:39:30,865 --> 01:39:32,205
Why are you here?
1648
01:39:32,240 --> 01:39:35,043
I told you I got your back,
girl!
1649
01:39:35,672 --> 01:39:37,639
I'm so sorry!
1650
01:39:37,674 --> 01:39:39,575
I destroyed
the jumpsuit!
1651
01:39:40,116 --> 01:39:41,214
What?
1652
01:39:41,249 --> 01:39:43,975
Never mind! Later.
1653
01:39:44,010 --> 01:39:46,087
I found a British guy
in a cave.
1654
01:39:46,122 --> 01:39:48,584
I thought he was a little boy,
but he has a full beard.
1655
01:39:48,619 --> 01:39:52,060
Beth, that's Fairfax!
He kidnapped us!
1656
01:39:52,095 --> 01:39:54,656
He's a bad guy, Beth!
He killed my trainer!
1657
01:39:54,691 --> 01:39:55,723
Get him!
1658
01:39:56,264 --> 01:39:57,296
Stop him!
1659
01:40:05,372 --> 01:40:07,405
I got your back, girl.
1660
01:40:09,772 --> 01:40:11,871
Where were you running?
It's a boat.
1661
01:40:11,906 --> 01:40:13,411
This guy's hilarious.
1662
01:40:13,446 --> 01:40:15,182
Got you.
1663
01:40:15,217 --> 01:40:16,678
Swim over to the rock!
1664
01:40:16,713 --> 01:40:18,878
I don't got you.
No, I got you.
I got you.
1665
01:40:18,913 --> 01:40:20,880
We're gonna get you.
It's gonna be okay.
1666
01:40:20,915 --> 01:40:23,520
"Finding refuge
on a nearby rock,
1667
01:40:23,555 --> 01:40:25,753
he lifted her from the water,
1668
01:40:25,788 --> 01:40:28,855
his powerful arms
pulling her body close.
1669
01:40:28,890 --> 01:40:30,197
Alan whispered..."
1670
01:40:30,232 --> 01:40:32,661
Shh. You're safe now.
1671
01:40:35,336 --> 01:40:39,767
"In that moment,
Loretta could feel a new
adventure was just beginning."
1672
01:40:41,276 --> 01:40:44,035
"The heart-pounding passion
of the narrow escape
1673
01:40:44,070 --> 01:40:47,038
only inflamed Loretta's
desire for him.
1674
01:40:47,073 --> 01:40:51,449
She was thirsty for the hot lava
soon to be pulsing from his..."
1675
01:40:51,484 --> 01:40:54,815
Don't you go stopping
right at the good part.
1676
01:40:56,324 --> 01:40:57,983
It's nothing she hasn't
read before.
1677
01:40:58,018 --> 01:40:59,589
Didn't I tell you?
1678
01:40:59,624 --> 01:41:02,658
The most beautiful beach
in the world.
1679
01:41:02,693 --> 01:41:05,958
Maybe later, I'll show you
the Cove of Enchantment?
1680
01:41:05,993 --> 01:41:07,927
No, you can take Randy.
1681
01:41:07,962 --> 01:41:11,568
Remember, you are
my platonic man friend.
1682
01:41:11,603 --> 01:41:14,736
Platonic?
I like the sound of that.
1683
01:41:14,771 --> 01:41:17,475
Not sure what it means,
but I like the sound of it.
1684
01:41:17,510 --> 01:41:19,543
Here you go, Randy.
1685
01:41:21,448 --> 01:41:23,646
My dear.
You are an angel.
Thank you.
1686
01:41:24,352 --> 01:41:25,714
How did you know?
1687
01:41:37,827 --> 01:41:40,333
Nice way to end
a book tour, right?
Mm-hmm.
1688
01:41:41,028 --> 01:41:43,094
Um...
1689
01:41:43,129 --> 01:41:47,373
You know,
I have a phrase I like to use
in moments like these, actually.
1690
01:41:47,408 --> 01:41:48,473
Um...
1691
01:41:50,070 --> 01:41:51,344
Quid deinde?
1692
01:41:52,743 --> 01:41:55,678
It's Latin.
It means, uh, "What's next?"
1693
01:41:57,748 --> 01:41:59,286
Quid cogitas?
1694
01:41:59,321 --> 01:42:00,551
Mmm.
1695
01:42:01,422 --> 01:42:02,718
Buca di Beppo.
1696
01:42:06,152 --> 01:42:07,888
Yeah. I know
zero other Latin.
No. Yes.
1697
01:42:07,923 --> 01:42:10,561
I looked it up
for this moment right now.
1698
01:42:11,564 --> 01:42:13,828
So, what does come next?
1699
01:42:13,863 --> 01:42:16,534
How would you write this?
I don't know.
1700
01:42:16,569 --> 01:42:19,163
How would you write it?
Do we really want me
to write this?
1701
01:42:19,198 --> 01:42:21,506
Just try. Take a stab at it.
Okay. I'll write it.
1702
01:42:21,541 --> 01:42:23,035
Okay.
1703
01:42:23,070 --> 01:42:26,170
"We were-- They were, uh...
standing on a beach."
1704
01:42:26,205 --> 01:42:28,216
Sets the stage for the audience.
They know where we are.
1705
01:42:28,251 --> 01:42:30,075
You're already laughing.
Why are you laughing at me?
1706
01:42:30,110 --> 01:42:31,978
I'm not laughing.
I'm smiling.
You are.
1707
01:42:32,013 --> 01:42:35,784
"There are palm trees
above a brown
1708
01:42:36,787 --> 01:42:39,491
bark-like hair
of the maiden.
1709
01:42:39,526 --> 01:42:41,658
There is a dead jellyfish--"
1710
01:42:41,693 --> 01:42:44,089
All you're doing
is describing what you're
actually seeing right now.
1711
01:42:44,124 --> 01:42:46,729
"He's nervous
because he really likes her."
1712
01:42:47,765 --> 01:42:49,930
It's nice writing.
1713
01:42:49,965 --> 01:42:51,239
Thanks.
You're welcome.
1714
01:42:51,274 --> 01:42:52,504
I'll keep going.
1715
01:42:52,539 --> 01:42:54,341
"He looked deep in her eyes.
1716
01:42:54,376 --> 01:42:57,377
The only thing
that could compare
to the pulse of that ocean
1717
01:42:58,281 --> 01:42:59,544
was the throbbing in the--"
1718
01:42:59,579 --> 01:43:02,778
Okay, no, you can't throb.
Why not?
1719
01:43:02,813 --> 01:43:04,780
Can't come
out of the gate
with a throb.
1720
01:43:04,815 --> 01:43:07,046
You throb all the time.
I don't come
out of the gate with it.
1721
01:43:07,081 --> 01:43:09,389
You have to earn the throb.
Who made you
the queen of throb?
1722
01:43:09,424 --> 01:43:12,788
It's usually a chapter four
thing. You want it brought up
appropriately in four.
1723
01:43:12,823 --> 01:43:15,087
I think you throb
in all the chapters.
"Pulsating."
1724
01:43:15,122 --> 01:43:17,122
It's a precursor to throb.
1725
01:43:17,157 --> 01:43:19,399
"Undulating."
You just jumped to five.
1726
01:43:19,434 --> 01:43:22,402
How 'bout they just kiss?
Why not?
Just like a regular kiss?
1727
01:43:22,437 --> 01:43:24,096
Yeah. Like a
beginning-of-the-chapter kiss.
1728
01:43:24,131 --> 01:43:25,669
I'm good at starting--
1729
01:43:29,741 --> 01:43:31,103
How was that? Any notes?
1730
01:43:32,007 --> 01:43:35,283
Very good
first chapter attempt.
1731
01:43:36,583 --> 01:43:38,550
♪ Bad chick
I could be your fantasy ♪
1732
01:43:38,585 --> 01:43:40,915
♪ I can tell
You got big, big energy ♪
1733
01:43:40,950 --> 01:43:43,082
♪ It ain't too many of 'em
That can handle me ♪
1734
01:43:43,117 --> 01:43:45,084
♪ But I might let you try it
Off the Hennessy ♪
1735
01:43:45,119 --> 01:43:47,559
♪ Make 'em sang to this thing
Like a melody ♪
1736
01:43:47,594 --> 01:43:49,990
♪ And if your girl ain't right
I got the remedy ♪
1737
01:43:50,025 --> 01:43:52,465
♪ It ain't too many of 'em
That can handle me ♪
1738
01:43:52,500 --> 01:43:55,094
♪ Bad chick
I could be your fantasy ♪
1739
01:43:55,129 --> 01:43:56,733
♪ Tell me how you want it ♪
1740
01:43:56,768 --> 01:43:58,669
♪ Three, two, one
And I'm on it ♪
1741
01:43:58,704 --> 01:44:00,638
♪ Feel good, don't it?
Hood chick, you in a bonnet ♪
1742
01:44:00,673 --> 01:44:02,739
♪ I'ma bust it on a pole
Like Onyx ♪
1743
01:44:02,774 --> 01:44:05,841
♪ I'm just being honest
Juicy, Minute Maid ♪
1744
01:44:05,876 --> 01:44:07,810
♪ But can't do it
One minute, man ♪
1745
01:44:07,845 --> 01:44:10,318
♪ Not a side or a main
I'm the only one he entertain ♪
1746
01:44:10,353 --> 01:44:12,518
♪ Spending his
Mine in the bank ♪
1747
01:44:12,553 --> 01:44:16,181
♪ I like what I see
A boss like you
Need a boss like me ♪
1748
01:44:16,216 --> 01:44:18,282
♪ Daddy from the street
So he move low key ♪
1749
01:44:18,317 --> 01:44:20,757
♪ Tryna ride that mic
Like karaoke ♪
1750
01:44:20,792 --> 01:44:23,254
♪ On the count of three
Bad, get money ♪
1751
01:44:23,289 --> 01:44:25,498
♪ Broke to the left
We don't want it ♪
1752
01:44:25,533 --> 01:44:27,830
♪ I'm the one they love to hate
But they can't get past ♪
1753
01:44:27,865 --> 01:44:30,932
♪ Pretty face, no waist
And a big old back ♪
1754
01:44:30,967 --> 01:44:32,967
♪ Bad chick
I could be your fantasy ♪
1755
01:44:33,002 --> 01:44:35,266
♪ I can tell you got
Big, big energy ♪
1756
01:44:35,301 --> 01:44:37,510
♪ It ain't too many of 'em
That can handle me ♪
1757
01:44:37,545 --> 01:44:39,611
♪ But I might let you try it
Off the Hennessy ♪
1758
01:44:39,646 --> 01:44:41,943
♪ Make 'em sing to this thing
Like a melody ♪
1759
01:44:41,978 --> 01:44:44,275
♪ And if your girl ain't right
I got the remedy ♪
1760
01:44:44,310 --> 01:44:46,552
♪ It ain't too many of 'em
That can handle me ♪
1761
01:44:46,587 --> 01:44:48,983
♪ Bad chick
I could be your fantasy ♪
1762
01:44:49,018 --> 01:44:52,558
♪ Got that real big energy... ♪
1763
01:45:00,535 --> 01:45:01,897
Psst!
1764
01:45:02,702 --> 01:45:04,064
Psst.
1765
01:45:05,001 --> 01:45:06,033
Psst.
1766
01:45:08,103 --> 01:45:09,168
Mother--
1767
01:45:09,203 --> 01:45:11,137
You were dead.
1768
01:45:11,172 --> 01:45:14,140
Your brains came out
of your face and hit
the back of my throat.
1769
01:45:14,175 --> 01:45:16,681
-He was in my mouth.
-Don't say he was in your mouth.
1770
01:45:16,716 --> 01:45:18,584
-I could taste you.
-Don't ever say that.
1771
01:45:18,619 --> 01:45:23,721
We only use 10% of our brain,
so I just switched
to another 10%.
1772
01:45:23,756 --> 01:45:26,658
So, you're okay?
1773
01:45:26,693 --> 01:45:28,429
One hundred percent.
1774
01:45:28,464 --> 01:45:30,156
Meaning 10%.
1775
01:45:30,191 --> 01:45:31,927
We thought you were dead.
1776
01:45:31,962 --> 01:45:34,732
Naturally,
I have some anger issues
I need to let go of.
1777
01:45:34,767 --> 01:45:37,031
Of course.
And resentment.
1778
01:45:39,101 --> 01:45:40,606
So good to see you, man.
1779
01:45:40,641 --> 01:45:42,839
Okay,
let's keep the chatter down.
1780
01:45:42,874 --> 01:45:46,909
We're closing our eyes
and reconnecting to our breath.
1781
01:45:47,945 --> 01:45:49,109
Great.
1782
01:45:49,881 --> 01:45:50,913
Great.