1
00:00:13,680 --> 00:00:16,808
[# Steve Winwood:
Gimme Some Lovin']
2
00:00:21,221 --> 00:00:23,348
[Engine revving]
3
00:01:10,937 --> 00:01:12,165
Wha... Ho!
4
00:01:12,238 --> 00:01:14,763
[Yelling] Whoa!
5
00:01:15,408 --> 00:01:18,900
Oh! Man, oh, man!
6
00:01:18,978 --> 00:01:21,538
I almost lost it back there.
7
00:01:21,614 --> 00:01:23,206
I didn't know what was going on.
8
00:01:23,283 --> 00:01:24,648
Oh!
9
00:01:24,717 --> 00:01:27,379
[Groaning] Oh...
10
00:01:43,103 --> 00:01:44,502
Mmm.
11
00:01:49,542 --> 00:01:52,773
- Oh, hey, babe? Doug?
- Huh?
12
00:01:52,846 --> 00:01:55,872
Can you take Billy to school?
My day kinda got away from me.
13
00:01:55,949 --> 00:01:58,782
Yeah, yeah. Unless there's
an emergency at the office.
14
00:01:58,852 --> 00:02:00,217
Oh, was there an emergency?
15
00:02:00,286 --> 00:02:02,481
You know, dentists
do have emergencies.
16
00:02:02,555 --> 00:02:04,785
- Oh.
- Sometimes.
17
00:02:04,858 --> 00:02:08,794
- Ah.
- We are doctors.
18
00:02:11,564 --> 00:02:14,533
Hey, no, no! Not until your LDL
is under a hundred.
19
00:02:17,203 --> 00:02:20,730
Well, Mr. Putnam,
any plans this summer?
20
00:02:20,807 --> 00:02:24,402
- [Garbled mumbling]
- What's... What'd he say?
21
00:02:24,477 --> 00:02:27,037
He said we're taking
an African safari.
22
00:02:27,113 --> 00:02:30,310
Africa. I don't think I've been
out of Cincinnati in 12 years.
23
00:02:30,383 --> 00:02:33,648
You owe it to yourself
to get out and enjoy life.
24
00:02:33,720 --> 00:02:38,180
You can't just live to work!
You need excitement!
25
00:02:38,258 --> 00:02:39,850
- [Yells]
- [Yelps]
26
00:02:39,926 --> 00:02:41,518
Come on. Don't be a baby,
27
00:02:41,594 --> 00:02:45,121
it's a d... Oh, the suction,
the extractor. Hold on.
28
00:02:45,198 --> 00:02:47,428
That'll suck the spots
off a Dalmatian.
29
00:02:47,500 --> 00:02:48,990
Help me, help me,
all right.
30
00:02:49,068 --> 00:02:51,730
Know what they call this?
One powerful little sucker.
31
00:02:51,804 --> 00:02:54,432
That's the brand name.
It's unbelievable.
32
00:02:54,507 --> 00:02:57,670
See? I have plenty of excitement
in my life, Mrs. Putnam.
33
00:03:03,082 --> 00:03:04,379
- [Beeps]
- [woman] Bobby?
34
00:03:04,450 --> 00:03:06,884
Karen, I asked
for no disturbances.
35
00:03:06,953 --> 00:03:08,784
I need to talk to you, Bobby.
36
00:03:08,855 --> 00:03:11,289
Technically,
I'm at the office right now.
37
00:03:11,357 --> 00:03:13,848
And technically, you're
in our guest bedroom.
38
00:03:13,927 --> 00:03:17,328
Look, I know baby. I... I just
gotta finish this chapter.
39
00:03:17,397 --> 00:03:18,694
I know. But you know what?
40
00:03:18,765 --> 00:03:21,256
I have to go to a job
that actually makes us money.
41
00:03:21,334 --> 00:03:23,598
And I'm late, so walk me to the door.
42
00:03:23,670 --> 00:03:26,002
Come on, Bobby.
I gotta get to work. OK?
43
00:03:26,072 --> 00:03:27,903
Oh, Wait. I forgot my cell phone.
44
00:03:27,974 --> 00:03:30,238
- Stay.
- Hey, Daddy! Listen!
45
00:03:30,310 --> 00:03:33,609
- [High-pitch scream]
- Whoa.
46
00:03:33,680 --> 00:03:35,307
Hey, no. Inside voice.
47
00:03:35,381 --> 00:03:37,508
- Inside voice.
- Would you shut up!
48
00:03:37,584 --> 00:03:40,883
God, it's like living
with a car alarm that shits.
49
00:03:40,954 --> 00:03:44,321
Whoa. What are you doing
trying to leave the house wearing that?
50
00:03:44,390 --> 00:03:47,484
- You look like a Eskimo hooker.
- Dad, that's the point.
51
00:03:47,560 --> 00:03:50,996
- You wanna look like a hooker?
- Dad, you are so lame.
52
00:03:51,064 --> 00:03:55,296
It's hard for kids to respect a man
that don't do none of the providing.
53
00:03:55,368 --> 00:03:59,702
In my day the lady stayed home.
Not the lazy man.
54
00:03:59,772 --> 00:04:02,104
In your day the men
had pyramids to build.
55
00:04:02,175 --> 00:04:03,540
How old is that?
56
00:04:03,610 --> 00:04:05,771
I'm in complete
control of my finan...
57
00:04:05,845 --> 00:04:08,405
- [screams]
- No.
58
00:04:08,481 --> 00:04:11,279
Hush. Come.
59
00:04:11,351 --> 00:04:14,081
How come she gets quiet
when you say something to her?
60
00:04:14,153 --> 00:04:16,621
Because you, my darling,
have no control.
61
00:04:16,689 --> 00:04:20,785
Baby, I know your how-to book
is gonna be a huge success someday.
62
00:04:20,860 --> 00:04:23,021
But do you remember
what day today is?
63
00:04:23,096 --> 00:04:24,461
No.
64
00:04:24,530 --> 00:04:26,760
We had agreed that
you would take a year off
65
00:04:26,833 --> 00:04:29,961
to pursue this little fantasy
of yours, but that year is up.
66
00:04:30,036 --> 00:04:31,594
Now you and I had a deal.
67
00:04:31,671 --> 00:04:34,299
Come on, baby.
Stressful cases.
68
00:04:34,374 --> 00:04:36,399
Clients under duress.
69
00:04:36,476 --> 00:04:39,468
I'm tired of dealing
with shit all the time.
70
00:04:39,545 --> 00:04:42,446
Besides, how do we even know
they'll take me back?
71
00:04:42,515 --> 00:04:44,540
- Because I called.
- You're serious?
72
00:04:44,617 --> 00:04:47,814
The Firm is ecstatic
to have you back, Bobby.
73
00:04:47,887 --> 00:04:49,821
You got a nine o'clock
appointment.
74
00:04:51,958 --> 00:04:54,984
- You call The Firm?
- Yeah, men's room.
75
00:04:55,061 --> 00:04:58,519
Some truck's driver must've crap
an entire cow in there, man.
76
00:04:58,598 --> 00:04:59,587
Good luck.
77
00:05:03,503 --> 00:05:05,334
I didn't want to
give him the key,
78
00:05:05,405 --> 00:05:07,339
but I didn't trust my instincts.
79
00:05:11,577 --> 00:05:13,738
[Sighing]
80
00:05:13,813 --> 00:05:17,840
I saw my father shot.
I never cry until today.
81
00:05:22,255 --> 00:05:25,918
I got robbed yesterday,
and I know now,
82
00:05:25,992 --> 00:05:28,085
your job is the bad one.
83
00:05:28,161 --> 00:05:30,721
Yeah.
84
00:05:30,797 --> 00:05:31,786
[Sighs]
85
00:05:48,314 --> 00:05:51,147
- [computer] Dudley?
- Yes, good morning, Mac.
86
00:05:51,217 --> 00:05:52,878
How's it going?
87
00:05:52,952 --> 00:05:55,079
[Mac] It is now
nine o'clock AM.
88
00:05:55,154 --> 00:05:58,385
Thanks, Mac.
Open Internet, please.
89
00:05:58,458 --> 00:06:01,825
- Command unknown.
- Open Internet.
90
00:06:01,894 --> 00:06:03,259
Internet open.
91
00:06:04,797 --> 00:06:07,288
I think I have to research
alternative specs.
92
00:06:07,367 --> 00:06:10,996
- Searching alternative sex.
- What? No. I didn't say that.
93
00:06:11,070 --> 00:06:12,833
[Woman] Granny Love dot org.
94
00:06:12,905 --> 00:06:15,237
- Want granny to take her teeth out?
- Shut down.
95
00:06:15,308 --> 00:06:17,469
- [man] Barnyard love.
- [animals neighing]
96
00:06:17,543 --> 00:06:19,977
- I'm sorry.
- [man] Enjoy the animals.
97
00:06:20,913 --> 00:06:23,575
[Woman] Granny's gonna
spank your bottom.
98
00:06:23,649 --> 00:06:25,310
[Man] All kinds of fun.
99
00:06:25,385 --> 00:06:28,013
- [roosters crowing]
- I can fix that.
100
00:06:28,087 --> 00:06:31,420
[Computer shorting, whirring]
101
00:06:31,491 --> 00:06:33,482
- Or not.
- [Cat meows]
102
00:06:36,229 --> 00:06:37,992
Well, iCat.
103
00:06:39,165 --> 00:06:41,224
- Looks like it's you and me.
- [Hisses]
104
00:06:51,744 --> 00:06:53,837
OK, Larry, so what are
you trying to tell me?
105
00:06:53,913 --> 00:06:56,404
- You're broke.
- Well, how does that work?
106
00:06:56,482 --> 00:06:59,212
You've spent everything
you had, then spent some more.
107
00:06:59,285 --> 00:07:01,048
This is right here.
Nothing. Zero.
108
00:07:01,120 --> 00:07:02,451
You know what?
109
00:07:02,522 --> 00:07:05,116
Maybe it's time for my wife,
the "supermodel,"
110
00:07:05,191 --> 00:07:07,716
to start paying for some things
for once in her life.
111
00:07:07,794 --> 00:07:09,091
You're getting divorced.
112
00:07:09,162 --> 00:07:12,461
- Why would she pay?
- [Chuckles] Divorced, going broke...
113
00:07:12,532 --> 00:07:14,466
You think I'm falling apart,
don't you?
114
00:07:14,534 --> 00:07:16,263
Not going broke.
You are broke.
115
00:07:16,335 --> 00:07:19,031
- OK.
- The door's behind you.
116
00:07:19,105 --> 00:07:22,370
No, no, you listen to me, Toby.
You're not gonna push me around.
117
00:07:22,442 --> 00:07:25,275
We agreed on a price, and
that's the price I'm gonna pay.
118
00:07:25,344 --> 00:07:28,370
You got it? And if you don't like it,
just walk away.
119
00:07:28,448 --> 00:07:31,178
I'll tell you this, you can
kiss your business goodbye.
120
00:07:31,250 --> 00:07:34,583
If you screw with Woody Stevens,
you go down hard. You got that?
121
00:07:34,654 --> 00:07:37,248
What?
No, money is not a problem.
122
00:07:37,323 --> 00:07:39,883
Don't insult me.
Don't insult me!
123
00:07:39,959 --> 00:07:41,358
Money's never a problem!
124
00:07:41,427 --> 00:07:44,191
You just have to honor
the correct price, you got that?
125
00:07:44,263 --> 00:07:46,163
- What?
- [Caller hangs up]
126
00:07:49,035 --> 00:07:52,004
Well, then go home, Toby!
You make me sick!
127
00:07:52,071 --> 00:07:54,938
I can't do this many leaves
for ten bucks.
128
00:07:55,007 --> 00:07:56,269
It'll take hours!
129
00:07:56,342 --> 00:07:59,038
You should've thought of that
before you put that flyer
130
00:07:59,111 --> 00:08:01,875
on the telephone pole saying,
"Any yard for ten bucks."
131
00:08:03,049 --> 00:08:05,210
Toby. Come on, let's talk.
132
00:08:05,284 --> 00:08:07,775
Let's talk like men, OK?
133
00:08:07,854 --> 00:08:09,981
[Sighs] What's the problem?
134
00:08:10,056 --> 00:08:13,389
- Money's the problem!
- Grow up, Toby!
135
00:08:14,894 --> 00:08:17,192
- I hate you.
- I hate you!
136
00:08:18,731 --> 00:08:19,891
Moron!
137
00:08:22,969 --> 00:08:26,166
- [Doug] Kel, it's me.
- [Kelly] I'll be right down.
138
00:08:27,106 --> 00:08:28,437
Hey, Bill.
139
00:08:28,508 --> 00:08:33,172
You wanna shoot some hoops or
something before I take my ride?
140
00:08:33,246 --> 00:08:36,841
- No, thanks.
- [Footsteps approaching]
141
00:08:36,916 --> 00:08:40,352
- Uh...
- Hey, babe. How was work?
142
00:08:40,419 --> 00:08:42,148
- Mmm.
- Great.
143
00:08:42,221 --> 00:08:43,984
- [Phone ringing]
- [Kelly] Good.
144
00:08:44,056 --> 00:08:46,115
Hello? Cool. I'll ask right now.
145
00:08:46,192 --> 00:08:48,922
- Can I play ball with Stew and his dad?
- Of course you can.
146
00:08:48,995 --> 00:08:50,121
[Billy] Cool. Thanks.
147
00:08:50,196 --> 00:08:52,756
Here, dude, I'll be right over,
OK? All right, bye.
148
00:08:52,832 --> 00:08:55,858
I just asked you if you wanted
to play ball. You said no.
149
00:08:55,935 --> 00:08:57,994
Well, yeah. I mean,
Stew's dad is awesome.
150
00:08:58,070 --> 00:08:59,401
He can totally dunk.
151
00:08:59,472 --> 00:09:01,940
The hoop's what?
Eight feet above the ground?
152
00:09:02,008 --> 00:09:06,069
- Anybody could dunk that.
- Well. See you guys later.
153
00:09:07,613 --> 00:09:10,343
Doug, I am so sorry.
You know, I had no idea.
154
00:09:10,416 --> 00:09:12,441
It wasn't your fault.
You didn't know.
155
00:09:12,518 --> 00:09:15,681
What do I gotta do
to relate to my son?
156
00:09:15,755 --> 00:09:18,553
[# Foghat: Slow Ride]
157
00:09:38,144 --> 00:09:40,169
- Hey, guys?
- [Engine revving]
158
00:09:40,246 --> 00:09:42,271
Does this sound better?
159
00:09:43,282 --> 00:09:44,408
Whoa!
160
00:09:52,091 --> 00:09:55,390
I'm OK! I hit my butt.
161
00:09:55,461 --> 00:09:58,123
[# George Thorogood:
Who Do You Love]
162
00:10:27,727 --> 00:10:29,718
[Indistinct chatter]
163
00:10:33,065 --> 00:10:34,532
Thanks, Woody.
164
00:10:34,600 --> 00:10:36,659
I feel really safe with you.
165
00:10:36,736 --> 00:10:39,204
I noticed. If you ever
lay your head on my back again
166
00:10:39,271 --> 00:10:42,069
when you're riding bitch,
I'll throw you in the traffic.
167
00:10:42,141 --> 00:10:45,599
I... I was just trying
to keep the wind off my face.
168
00:10:45,678 --> 00:10:48,841
- I felt you smell my neck.
- Guys, could we?
169
00:10:50,449 --> 00:10:52,474
Did you smell
that man's neck?
170
00:10:52,551 --> 00:10:54,985
His cologne is fantastic.
171
00:10:55,054 --> 00:10:57,852
It's musky with an oaky finish.
172
00:10:57,923 --> 00:11:01,450
Like a lawyer cowboy.
173
00:11:01,527 --> 00:11:03,654
Lawyer cowboy?
174
00:11:04,630 --> 00:11:07,030
Wild Hogs aren't welcome here.
175
00:11:07,099 --> 00:11:08,532
- Hey, Paul.
- How you doing?
176
00:11:08,601 --> 00:11:09,761
- Hey, guys.
- Hey, Paul.
177
00:11:09,835 --> 00:11:11,029
Hey, Woody.
178
00:11:11,103 --> 00:11:13,799
Just waiting on those K-ones
to do your tax returns.
179
00:11:13,873 --> 00:11:17,206
We also need to talk about that
offshore incorporating thing.
180
00:11:17,276 --> 00:11:18,937
Yeah, well,
I'll give you a call.
181
00:11:19,011 --> 00:11:22,913
OK. I'll set up lunch.
Or we could do a day at the spa.
182
00:11:22,982 --> 00:11:24,882
Now that was fun.
183
00:11:24,950 --> 00:11:27,919
- Huh?
- I don't remember that.
184
00:11:27,987 --> 00:11:31,684
- Got your wine cooler, Dad.
- Oh, sweet. Thanks.
185
00:11:31,757 --> 00:11:34,191
- I'll see you Hogs in Hell!
- We'll make it.
186
00:11:34,260 --> 00:11:37,024
- That was scary, Paul. Good work.
- See you later.
187
00:11:37,096 --> 00:11:40,190
- I'm not coming here anymore.
- But this is a Wild Hog tradition.
188
00:11:40,266 --> 00:11:42,734
We're not Wild Hogs,
we're like wild lambs.
189
00:11:42,802 --> 00:11:44,963
It's just a patch
that Doug's wife made.
190
00:11:45,037 --> 00:11:47,505
We sewed it on our jackets
so she wouldn't feel bad.
191
00:11:47,573 --> 00:11:49,131
- Is that a fact?
- [Woody] Yeah.
192
00:11:49,208 --> 00:11:51,073
Well, what has
your wife ever made us?
193
00:11:51,143 --> 00:11:52,167
- Hard.
- [All laugh]
194
00:11:52,244 --> 00:11:54,337
- Hey.
- That's true, she is really.
195
00:11:54,413 --> 00:11:57,974
- All I'm saying is she's good-looking.
- Show some respect.
196
00:11:58,050 --> 00:12:00,985
Come on. That's what your wife does.
She's a swimsuit model.
197
00:12:01,053 --> 00:12:03,317
And it... And a good one,
I mean. She is hot.
198
00:12:03,389 --> 00:12:07,189
OK, here's a question:
What are we doing here?
199
00:12:07,259 --> 00:12:09,591
Having... Having beers
like we do every week.
200
00:12:09,662 --> 00:12:13,291
No, no, no. Bigger picture. Life, man.
What do we have to look forward to?
201
00:12:13,365 --> 00:12:15,526
Riding in formation
in the Labor Day Parade?
202
00:12:15,601 --> 00:12:17,967
- Is that it?
- I'm looking forward to the parade.
203
00:12:18,037 --> 00:12:20,198
I got Tootsie Rolls
I can throw to the kids.
204
00:12:20,272 --> 00:12:21,864
- [Groans]
- Tootsie Rolls
205
00:12:21,941 --> 00:12:23,704
that he can throw to the kids.
206
00:12:23,776 --> 00:12:27,576
Man, you can't even put on your
turn signal without busting your ass.
207
00:12:27,646 --> 00:12:30,240
Look, let's put some
real miles on those bikes.
208
00:12:30,316 --> 00:12:33,717
- Road trip?
- Yeah. A road trip.
209
00:12:33,786 --> 00:12:37,984
Just us. No rules.
No Tootsie Rolls.
210
00:12:38,057 --> 00:12:40,821
Just us, the wind,
the road to the Pacific.
211
00:12:40,893 --> 00:12:42,952
We camp out for a week,
whenever we want,
212
00:12:43,028 --> 00:12:44,859
wherever we want.
213
00:12:44,930 --> 00:12:46,420
I mean, that's freedom, man.
214
00:12:46,499 --> 00:12:48,558
As long as we stop
at some Wi-Fi hotspots,
215
00:12:48,634 --> 00:12:50,864
- count me in. Yep.
- You're in? All right.
216
00:12:50,936 --> 00:12:54,099
Eh, I can't. [stuttering]
I can't get the time off of work.
217
00:12:54,173 --> 00:12:56,937
- You know, I'm a doctor.
- You're a dentist.
218
00:12:57,009 --> 00:13:00,410
Look, in college... Man,
he'd have been packed already.
219
00:13:00,479 --> 00:13:03,448
I'm not kidding. You know,
and on a bike, he's fearless.
220
00:13:03,516 --> 00:13:05,643
- He was fearless.
- Yeah, well, that was...
221
00:13:05,718 --> 00:13:08,744
This guy, we called him
"The Golden Knight." Where's that guy?
222
00:13:08,821 --> 00:13:11,756
- I wanna see that guy again.
- That guy's married now.
223
00:13:11,824 --> 00:13:15,658
And that guy, uh, used to...
used to get high a lot.
224
00:13:15,728 --> 00:13:18,128
- What's Claudia gonna say about this?
- Nothing.
225
00:13:18,197 --> 00:13:22,258
She's in the Bahamas doing some
swimsuit thing for Sports Illustrated.
226
00:13:22,334 --> 00:13:24,199
Look, if not now, when?
227
00:13:24,270 --> 00:13:27,899
Y'all know me.
I'm the first to get buck wild.
228
00:13:27,973 --> 00:13:30,441
- But...
- No, you're afraid to ask your wife.
229
00:13:30,509 --> 00:13:34,104
True. True. I said true!
230
00:13:34,180 --> 00:13:35,807
Come on!
231
00:13:35,881 --> 00:13:38,975
This is it, on the edge, we're living!
You know, St. Elmo's Fire,
232
00:13:39,051 --> 00:13:41,019
The Wild Bunch.
You know, Deliverance!
233
00:13:41,086 --> 00:13:42,178
[All] Deliverance?
234
00:13:42,254 --> 00:13:43,949
- Uh... You know...
- Deliverance?
235
00:13:44,023 --> 00:13:45,854
[Bobby] Deliverance?
236
00:13:45,925 --> 00:13:48,792
Hey, dudes. We're gonna
ride as an American flag
237
00:13:48,861 --> 00:13:50,089
in the parade this year.
238
00:13:50,162 --> 00:13:52,460
Each guy in our chapter
is a star.
239
00:13:52,531 --> 00:13:54,192
- A what?
- I'm gonna get sick.
240
00:13:54,266 --> 00:13:57,633
- Who's gonna do the stripes?
- [Man] Lyman Middle School majorettes.
241
00:13:57,703 --> 00:14:00,035
Oh, boy. Hey, we're
really living now, huh?
242
00:14:00,105 --> 00:14:02,096
I hope we don't get
hit by a stray baton.
243
00:14:02,174 --> 00:14:04,039
You know what?
I'm outta here.
244
00:14:04,109 --> 00:14:06,339
I'm going with you guys
or without you guys.
245
00:14:06,412 --> 00:14:07,538
You know what I mean?
246
00:14:07,613 --> 00:14:09,478
Take your smelly tees.
Good night.
247
00:14:09,548 --> 00:14:11,311
- I said I'd go.
- [Doug] Come on back.
248
00:14:11,383 --> 00:14:14,113
Hmm. Oh, I almost forgot.
249
00:14:14,186 --> 00:14:16,552
We're also gonna be wearing
these black ribbons
250
00:14:16,622 --> 00:14:19,455
in honor of Tom Peterson.
He died last week...
251
00:14:19,525 --> 00:14:23,586
Boom! Just like that.
Anyway, he'll be missed.
252
00:14:25,264 --> 00:14:27,198
Tom Peterson. Tom Peterson.
253
00:14:27,266 --> 00:14:29,257
Do you remember that guy?
254
00:14:29,335 --> 00:14:31,360
He was our age.
255
00:14:41,947 --> 00:14:44,040
- Mom, want some gravy?
- Oh, yeah, thanks.
256
00:14:46,452 --> 00:14:49,012
- So how was your ride?
- I don't know.
257
00:14:49,088 --> 00:14:52,649
All Woody did was yap about taking
some stupid cross-country trip.
258
00:14:52,725 --> 00:14:54,852
Do you wanna talk
about going on this ride?
259
00:14:54,927 --> 00:14:56,622
I can't go on a cross-country trip.
260
00:14:56,695 --> 00:14:58,754
I can't walk away
from work anytime I want.
261
00:14:58,831 --> 00:15:01,231
Yeah, you know what,
you're right.
262
00:15:01,300 --> 00:15:02,767
It's just as well.
263
00:15:02,835 --> 00:15:05,770
Road trips probably aren't
the best thing for a guy your age.
264
00:15:05,838 --> 00:15:08,170
I mean, it's gotta be
really inconvenient.
265
00:15:08,240 --> 00:15:10,936
Bunch of middle-aged guys
having to get off their bikes
266
00:15:11,010 --> 00:15:12,671
every 20 minutes to take a pee...
267
00:15:12,745 --> 00:15:15,908
My age? What kind of crack is that?
What's wrong with my age?
268
00:15:15,981 --> 00:15:18,074
She talks like I'm not
right here, you know?
269
00:15:18,150 --> 00:15:19,777
Doug, I'm joking.
270
00:15:19,852 --> 00:15:22,980
No, you know what I think?
I think you think I'm a boring guy.
271
00:15:23,055 --> 00:15:25,353
I'm old and I'm boring now.
I've become lame.
272
00:15:25,424 --> 00:15:28,052
I think everybody thinks that
at this table. I'm lame!
273
00:15:28,127 --> 00:15:30,391
- Admit it! I'm lame!
- Doug, calm down. It's OK.
274
00:15:30,462 --> 00:15:33,022
No, I'm not gonna calm down.
You know what I think?
275
00:15:33,098 --> 00:15:36,090
"Calming down" means
another word for "lame!"
276
00:15:36,168 --> 00:15:39,695
I'm not lame!
You know, I'm wild and free!
277
00:15:39,772 --> 00:15:41,933
Wild and free and a man, yeah!
278
00:15:42,007 --> 00:15:44,908
A man that likes to eat meat.
I'm tired of not eating meat!
279
00:15:44,977 --> 00:15:47,241
Meat's good!
Good for men.
280
00:15:47,313 --> 00:15:51,044
And potatoes. I like
potatoes and I like gravy
281
00:15:51,116 --> 00:15:54,677
on my potatoes. Yum, yum!
282
00:15:54,753 --> 00:15:58,780
[Chuckling, gulping, gasping]
283
00:15:58,857 --> 00:16:01,655
- Don't make sudden moves.
- I'm living wild, living good.
284
00:16:01,727 --> 00:16:04,093
- It feels good, baby!
- Whoa, no, Dad. Your LDL.
285
00:16:04,163 --> 00:16:07,030
Butt out, LDLs! I miss butter.
You know why I miss butter?
286
00:16:07,099 --> 00:16:10,262
The French think butter
is just like cheese, they eat it...
287
00:16:10,336 --> 00:16:12,896
They eat it just like this.
Right off the stick.
288
00:16:12,972 --> 00:16:16,840
And the French, who've never won
a major battle, they know how to eat!
289
00:16:16,909 --> 00:16:18,843
- And I...
- [grumbling]
290
00:16:18,911 --> 00:16:21,573
I am living,
and it feels great!
291
00:16:21,647 --> 00:16:23,638
[Sighs]
292
00:16:25,017 --> 00:16:26,814
Mmm...
293
00:16:27,686 --> 00:16:29,677
Hmm. [groaning, belching]
294
00:16:29,755 --> 00:16:33,247
- Doug, are you OK?
- [Continues belching]
295
00:16:33,325 --> 00:16:34,724
- [Mumbling]
- Doug, you OK?
296
00:16:34,793 --> 00:16:37,694
- Yeah! I'm all right...
- [Billy] Dad, just spit it out!
297
00:16:37,763 --> 00:16:38,991
Spit it out! Come on.
298
00:16:39,064 --> 00:16:40,998
- Breathe, breathe!
- I am not all right.
299
00:16:43,869 --> 00:16:46,497
- Well, Mr. Madsen...
- Dr. Madsen...
300
00:16:46,572 --> 00:16:49,973
Oh, really? Great. Then I can
put this a little more simply.
301
00:16:50,042 --> 00:16:54,775
You had a catecholamine-induced,
super-ventricular tachyarrhythmia.
302
00:16:54,847 --> 00:16:58,374
I'm actually a dentist, so I
have no idea what you just said.
303
00:16:58,450 --> 00:17:01,078
- Stress-induced panic attack.
- I'm not stressed.
304
00:17:01,153 --> 00:17:04,384
Your body says otherwise.
We see this a lot in middle-aged men.
305
00:17:04,456 --> 00:17:07,516
- I'm not middle-aged.
- We hear that a lot, too.
306
00:17:07,593 --> 00:17:09,857
How 'bout we get you
out of here in a few minutes?
307
00:17:09,928 --> 00:17:12,556
[Woman] Dr. Wesley to imaging.
Dr. Wesley to imaging.
308
00:17:12,631 --> 00:17:14,292
I am a middle-aged man,
aren't I?
309
00:17:14,366 --> 00:17:17,893
- Only mathematically.
- [Sighs]
310
00:17:17,970 --> 00:17:20,530
I think you need to let off some steam.
311
00:17:20,606 --> 00:17:22,767
You used to love to travel.
312
00:17:22,841 --> 00:17:25,275
No, Doug, you used to play hockey.
You were crazy.
313
00:17:25,344 --> 00:17:27,574
You don't even
sing annoying eighties music.
314
00:17:27,646 --> 00:17:29,011
Well, it's different now.
315
00:17:29,081 --> 00:17:32,414
You know, I had to slow down
for... for you and Billy.
316
00:17:32,484 --> 00:17:34,384
Oh, so I'm the one
who did this to you?
317
00:17:34,453 --> 00:17:35,511
I'm in a hospital.
318
00:17:35,587 --> 00:17:38,556
It's easier for me now to blame
other people for my problems.
319
00:17:38,624 --> 00:17:42,890
W... I think you should
go on that trip.
320
00:17:42,961 --> 00:17:46,021
If you don't, I will fire up
the hog and go with the guys.
321
00:17:46,098 --> 00:17:48,931
- Woody doesn't have a plan.
- Yeah, but he never does.
322
00:17:49,001 --> 00:17:50,901
It's like taking a trip to nowhere.
323
00:17:52,271 --> 00:17:54,501
Maybe that's exactly what you need.
324
00:18:00,679 --> 00:18:02,442
What up?
325
00:18:02,514 --> 00:18:06,644
Hey. You're late! Supposed to
be here at eight-thirty, guys.
326
00:18:06,718 --> 00:18:09,687
Hey, look here,
if Karen calls,
327
00:18:09,755 --> 00:18:14,215
OK, I'm at a toilet
bowl seminar in Cleveland.
328
00:18:14,293 --> 00:18:16,693
- [All laugh]
- Hey, no, I'm serious.
329
00:18:16,762 --> 00:18:18,252
I need y'all to cover for me.
330
00:18:18,330 --> 00:18:20,423
Yeah, sure.
331
00:18:21,433 --> 00:18:24,300
What? What?
What are you looking at?
332
00:18:24,369 --> 00:18:25,495
I got a tat.
333
00:18:25,571 --> 00:18:27,334
- Come on!
- Hell just froze over.
334
00:18:27,406 --> 00:18:29,738
- Let's see it!
- I'm a biker, dude!
335
00:18:29,808 --> 00:18:31,435
I got a tat!
336
00:18:31,510 --> 00:18:34,479
- [Woody] It's an apple.
- Uh, Dudley, you know...
337
00:18:34,546 --> 00:18:37,879
I know: Trademarked.
But what are they gonna say?
338
00:18:37,950 --> 00:18:40,851
It's in my skin, bitch!
[Laughs]
339
00:18:40,919 --> 00:18:42,910
[Cackling]
340
00:18:42,988 --> 00:18:46,219
- You guys aren't gonna wear helmets?
- I don't wanna wear a helmet.
341
00:18:46,291 --> 00:18:48,782
Maybe I don't want anything
between me and the road.
342
00:18:48,861 --> 00:18:50,488
You will if your head falls on it.
343
00:18:50,562 --> 00:18:53,793
Woody, 62 percent of motorcycle
fatalities can be prevented with
344
00:18:53,866 --> 00:18:56,198
- the use of an approved DOT helmet.
- That right?
345
00:18:56,268 --> 00:18:59,533
What's that leather condom
gonna protect you from? Snoopy?
346
00:18:59,605 --> 00:19:01,402
The Red Baron? How about dating?
347
00:19:01,473 --> 00:19:03,373
- You told me you liked it.
- Guys, hey!
348
00:19:03,442 --> 00:19:07,276
There are no rules on this trip.
We're just heading for the Pacific,
349
00:19:07,346 --> 00:19:10,747
- and there ain't no plans.
- Well, we got a week to do this, right?
350
00:19:10,816 --> 00:19:12,909
I figure we gotta be
in Illinois by tonight.
351
00:19:12,985 --> 00:19:15,545
Well, the way I mapped it out,
we should be 100 miles
352
00:19:15,621 --> 00:19:17,816
- past St. Louis by sundown.
- [Doug] Good.
353
00:19:17,890 --> 00:19:20,415
What did I say?
I said it's the open road, OK?
354
00:19:20,492 --> 00:19:23,620
- Who knows where we're gonna be?
- I know where we're gonna be.
355
00:19:23,695 --> 00:19:26,186
Dudley hooked me up.
Check out this thing.
356
00:19:26,265 --> 00:19:27,994
It's a GPS in my phone now.
357
00:19:28,066 --> 00:19:29,931
- Look at that.
- No kidding? Let me see.
358
00:19:30,002 --> 00:19:31,333
- Cool!
- What are you...
359
00:19:32,204 --> 00:19:34,934
- Hey, what'd you do that for?!
- For the good of the trip.
360
00:19:35,007 --> 00:19:37,908
You don't need a GPS
to discover America.
361
00:19:37,976 --> 00:19:40,001
You need a bike and
you need the road, OK?
362
00:19:40,078 --> 00:19:42,842
Freedom. And if we have an
emergency, I got a cell phone.
363
00:19:42,915 --> 00:19:44,143
- No you don't.
- What?
364
00:19:44,216 --> 00:19:47,617
Hey! Why did you do that?
I got all my data in there!
365
00:19:47,686 --> 00:19:49,881
Well, how does that feel, Woody?
366
00:19:51,256 --> 00:19:53,724
Feels good. Whoo!
367
00:19:53,792 --> 00:19:56,283
# It's my prerogative!
Mm-mm-mm! #
368
00:19:56,361 --> 00:19:58,022
- No cell phones!
- Wait a minute.
369
00:19:58,096 --> 00:20:00,360
- Come on, get rid of it.
- No, Doug, he's right.
370
00:20:00,432 --> 00:20:02,730
- No, no, wait, wait...
- Whoo!
371
00:20:02,801 --> 00:20:05,861
Yeah! Yeah, Wild Hogs, baby!
Wild Hogs!
372
00:20:05,938 --> 00:20:07,906
You did that so
Karen wouldn't call you.
373
00:20:07,973 --> 00:20:09,497
- Exactly.
- Come on, give it up.
374
00:20:09,575 --> 00:20:13,375
So we're not gonna discuss this? We're
not gonna think about this? No, don't!
375
00:20:13,445 --> 00:20:15,208
- We need one phone.
- Freedom, baby!
376
00:20:18,083 --> 00:20:21,246
- [Tires squealing]
- We gotta go.
377
00:20:22,721 --> 00:20:24,848
- [Doug] Go, go!
- [Man] Come back here!
378
00:20:25,791 --> 00:20:28,894
[# Grand Funk Railroad: Walk Like A Man
(You Can Call Me Your Man)]
379
00:20:28,894 --> 00:20:30,862
[# Grand Funk Railroad: Walk Like A Man
(You Can Call Me Your Man)]
380
00:20:52,851 --> 00:20:54,250
- Hey!
- Whoo!
381
00:20:54,319 --> 00:20:55,718
Where're you guys headed?
382
00:20:57,990 --> 00:20:59,582
I love you!
383
00:21:01,493 --> 00:21:03,552
You're hot!
384
00:21:13,038 --> 00:21:15,029
[Thundering]
385
00:21:23,315 --> 00:21:25,909
- Losers.
- Look at these guys.
386
00:21:27,953 --> 00:21:29,250
Hey.
387
00:21:29,321 --> 00:21:32,848
- [Girls laughing]
- You guys wanna a ride?
388
00:21:36,361 --> 00:21:39,057
Well, all right.
Sleeping bags are all set.
389
00:21:42,134 --> 00:21:45,262
Bobby, I got two words
for you: Foot pump.
390
00:21:45,337 --> 00:21:49,068
Woody, I got four words for you:
Got a cheap-ass wife.
391
00:21:49,141 --> 00:21:50,335
[All chuckle]
392
00:21:50,409 --> 00:21:54,175
Hey, guys, this is poop.
So don't eat it.
393
00:21:54,246 --> 00:21:56,407
- Oh, God.
- Excuse me, Mr. Hard Drive,
394
00:21:56,481 --> 00:21:58,813
you're supposed to bury it,
not put it in a bag.
395
00:21:58,884 --> 00:22:01,444
This is plastic,
I'm not gonna put it in the earth.
396
00:22:01,520 --> 00:22:03,317
I'll find a garbage can tomorrow.
397
00:22:05,157 --> 00:22:08,957
So you gonna sit right next to me
with that doo-doo.
398
00:22:10,896 --> 00:22:13,558
Hey, come on.
Doesn't get any better than this.
399
00:22:13,632 --> 00:22:17,534
Sitting around a fire, chilling with
your best friends, relaxing, enjoying...
400
00:22:17,602 --> 00:22:19,866
Sorry, you gotta...
You gotta bury that thing.
401
00:22:19,938 --> 00:22:22,964
- Otherwise I'll vomit in your lap.
...each other's company.
402
00:22:23,041 --> 00:22:25,635
I'll hang it from a tree
so the bears don't get it.
403
00:22:25,711 --> 00:22:28,339
- No, don't hang it in a tree!
- Why not?
404
00:22:28,413 --> 00:22:32,349
- 'Cause bears don't eat shit!
- [Laughing]
405
00:22:37,522 --> 00:22:38,819
What's up?
406
00:22:40,559 --> 00:22:43,050
Ever wake up and wonder
what happened to your life?
407
00:22:44,329 --> 00:22:45,956
I really had such great plans.
408
00:22:46,031 --> 00:22:49,899
My life and my work
would be an adventure. You know?
409
00:22:49,968 --> 00:22:51,868
All of a sudden
I'm a suburban dentist.
410
00:22:51,937 --> 00:22:53,837
Hey, look, Doug,
I feel your pain, man.
411
00:22:53,905 --> 00:22:56,806
Look, I swore I would
never return to a job
412
00:22:56,875 --> 00:23:00,038
where I had to wear
condoms on my shoes.
413
00:23:00,112 --> 00:23:01,739
- You're still at The Firm?
- Yeah.
414
00:23:01,813 --> 00:23:05,340
And I get yelled at
by an ungrateful wife all night.
415
00:23:05,417 --> 00:23:08,386
- The whole thing has made me...
- A wimp.
416
00:23:08,453 --> 00:23:11,980
I was gonna say miserable.
But you think I'm a wimp?
417
00:23:12,057 --> 00:23:14,924
No, I thought you were gonna say wimp,
so I just filled it in.
418
00:23:14,993 --> 00:23:17,723
You're a wimp, Bobby.
I... I'll say it.
419
00:23:17,796 --> 00:23:21,061
I mean, you're afraid of women.
It's kind of embarrassing.
420
00:23:21,133 --> 00:23:23,761
- I'm afraid of women.
- You're afraid to talk to women.
421
00:23:23,835 --> 00:23:25,393
Bobby's afraid they'll kill him
422
00:23:25,470 --> 00:23:27,734
- in his sleep.
- [All laugh]
423
00:23:27,806 --> 00:23:31,037
Wow. Now I'm really
afraid of women.
424
00:23:31,109 --> 00:23:33,236
At least one of us
is living the fairy tale.
425
00:23:33,311 --> 00:23:35,836
Right, Woody? Plenty of money,
travel all the time,
426
00:23:35,914 --> 00:23:37,745
you got the swimsuit model
for a wife.
427
00:23:37,816 --> 00:23:39,807
At least one of us
has got it made.
428
00:23:39,885 --> 00:23:43,048
Yeah, Well, one man's fairy tale
is another man's nightmare.
429
00:23:44,656 --> 00:23:47,056
You think that the
marshmallow's done, Doug?
430
00:23:47,125 --> 00:23:51,357
Oh. Hey, look at that. Anybody
want the first marshmallow?
431
00:23:51,430 --> 00:23:54,263
Starting to look like
Dudley's helmet.
432
00:23:56,334 --> 00:23:57,323
All right.
433
00:23:58,970 --> 00:24:01,905
- I think I'm halfway there.
- Oh, in only one hour?
434
00:24:01,973 --> 00:24:03,838
Hey, Bobby, you sure
you wanna do that?
435
00:24:03,909 --> 00:24:06,878
You could use one of the spare
bags we got in the... tent!
436
00:24:06,945 --> 00:24:09,379
Hey, Dudley, go get
the water jug out of my bag!
437
00:24:09,448 --> 00:24:11,382
I want... Kick, kick,
kick, kick! Dirt!
438
00:24:11,450 --> 00:24:12,542
I got it!
439
00:24:12,617 --> 00:24:14,744
That's camp-stove fuel!
440
00:24:14,820 --> 00:24:16,947
[All exclaiming]
441
00:24:17,022 --> 00:24:18,182
No!
442
00:24:19,324 --> 00:24:20,621
This is the wrong jug!
443
00:24:20,692 --> 00:24:22,023
You think?
444
00:24:22,994 --> 00:24:24,052
Aw, God.
445
00:24:24,129 --> 00:24:26,154
This is supposed to be flame-retardant.
446
00:24:26,231 --> 00:24:28,222
I guess it wasn't
"Dudley-retardant."
447
00:24:30,669 --> 00:24:33,069
All my drawers are burning.
448
00:24:35,040 --> 00:24:36,632
Oh, perfect!
449
00:24:39,444 --> 00:24:42,413
[Snoring]
450
00:24:50,155 --> 00:24:51,679
[Muttering]
451
00:24:51,756 --> 00:24:52,950
What are you doing?
452
00:24:53,024 --> 00:24:55,254
Huh? Keeping my face
out of the wind.
453
00:24:56,628 --> 00:25:01,292
[Groans] Hey. Oh.
Boy, my ass is sore.
454
00:25:01,366 --> 00:25:02,890
[Dudley] Mine, too.
455
00:25:02,968 --> 00:25:06,062
It's Woody's fault
for riding us so hard yesterday.
456
00:25:06,137 --> 00:25:10,130
The human body wasn't made to straddle
something that big for that long.
457
00:25:10,208 --> 00:25:14,372
Well, you know, it's gonna hurt a little
bit, and that's part of the experience.
458
00:25:14,446 --> 00:25:16,346
That's why we didn't bring our wives.
459
00:25:16,414 --> 00:25:18,814
[Bobby] What the...
What the hell?
460
00:25:18,884 --> 00:25:22,479
Somebody wanna explain to me
why I'm the one in the dirt...
461
00:25:22,554 --> 00:25:25,352
...when I got sore jaws
from three hours of blowing...
462
00:25:27,425 --> 00:25:32,362
Please, please for the love
of God, finish your sentence.
463
00:25:36,268 --> 00:25:37,997
Let's see, what, uh...
464
00:25:38,069 --> 00:25:39,661
What exactly
do we have here?
465
00:25:39,738 --> 00:25:41,069
We've got...
466
00:25:41,139 --> 00:25:45,974
...one, two, three men...
in a bed... spooning?
467
00:25:46,044 --> 00:25:47,636
This is not what it looks like.
468
00:25:47,712 --> 00:25:50,647
This is a, uh... We, um...
What is it, Woody?
469
00:25:50,715 --> 00:25:51,704
Camping.
470
00:25:51,783 --> 00:25:54,946
I'll tell you just exactly
what it is there, Poindexter.
471
00:25:55,020 --> 00:25:57,887
It is four counts
of indecent exposure,
472
00:25:57,956 --> 00:26:01,119
two counts of lewd,
lascivious behavior, and...
473
00:26:02,027 --> 00:26:05,656
...one count...
of pure jealousy.
474
00:26:05,730 --> 00:26:09,188
- Huh?
- How you doing?
475
00:26:09,267 --> 00:26:10,825
- Hey, look.
- Whoa, we're not...
476
00:26:10,902 --> 00:26:12,767
Thanks for waking us up,
Officer.
477
00:26:12,837 --> 00:26:16,329
- Oh, it was actually...
- I get it. You gotta get going.
478
00:26:16,408 --> 00:26:17,534
That's terrific.
479
00:26:17,609 --> 00:26:19,873
Five's a crowd? Is that
what I'm gleaning here?
480
00:26:19,945 --> 00:26:23,346
Yeah, five's... uneven number.
Figure it out.
481
00:26:23,415 --> 00:26:25,883
You guys can't see it, can you?
You're too close.
482
00:26:25,951 --> 00:26:29,443
You don't realize how lucky
you are to have each other.
483
00:26:29,521 --> 00:26:33,548
Oh, daddy... Damn lucky.
484
00:26:35,393 --> 00:26:38,260
- I've always felt so.
- I know what you've felt.
485
00:26:38,330 --> 00:26:40,628
I have too.
486
00:26:53,044 --> 00:26:56,036
- You wearing pants?
- No.
487
00:26:56,114 --> 00:26:58,810
Would you please put some
pants on, for God's sake!
488
00:26:58,883 --> 00:27:00,510
[Doug] Dudley!
489
00:27:00,585 --> 00:27:01,950
What a nice guy.
490
00:27:04,089 --> 00:27:06,819
Mmm.
Oh, yeah.
491
00:27:07,826 --> 00:27:09,817
Whoo! Anybody else
gotta take a leak?
492
00:27:09,894 --> 00:27:11,088
- No.
- No.
493
00:27:11,162 --> 00:27:13,323
Hey, guys, last
stop for quite a while.
494
00:27:13,398 --> 00:27:16,799
I gotta pee again now.
495
00:27:16,868 --> 00:27:21,999
[Revving engines approaching]
496
00:28:05,083 --> 00:28:08,246
Wow. I can
smell them from here.
497
00:28:08,319 --> 00:28:11,948
Gentlemen,
that's the real deal.
498
00:28:12,023 --> 00:28:15,515
[# Lynyrd Skynyrd:
Call Me the Breeze]
499
00:28:41,720 --> 00:28:43,153
[Grunting]
500
00:28:43,221 --> 00:28:44,381
Ahh.
501
00:28:45,490 --> 00:28:47,048
What?
502
00:28:48,259 --> 00:28:51,956
- [Both laughing]
- [Bobby] Now, that's "wild!"
503
00:28:58,803 --> 00:29:01,636
[Both grunting]
504
00:29:06,211 --> 00:29:07,542
[Grumbling]
505
00:29:14,953 --> 00:29:17,046
Oh! Whoa, stop it!
506
00:29:17,122 --> 00:29:19,113
- Biker in trouble!
- [Squawking]
507
00:29:19,190 --> 00:29:20,987
[Spits]
508
00:29:39,811 --> 00:29:41,506
This is awesome!
509
00:29:44,415 --> 00:29:47,043
Thanks for
waiting for me, jerks!
510
00:29:47,619 --> 00:29:49,712
Yoo-hoo!
511
00:29:50,989 --> 00:29:53,617
Oh, it's...
Whoa, it's cold!
512
00:29:54,926 --> 00:29:57,554
- What?
- Why are you naked?
513
00:29:57,629 --> 00:30:00,257
We're swimming. Did you guys
keep your skivvies on?
514
00:30:00,331 --> 00:30:02,629
There could be snapping
turtles or something.
515
00:30:02,700 --> 00:30:05,635
I kept mine on 'cause I didn't
want it to get dark in here.
516
00:30:05,703 --> 00:30:08,797
I don't know, I thought we were
doing this wild and free thing.
517
00:30:08,873 --> 00:30:10,033
Yeah, well...
518
00:30:11,876 --> 00:30:14,344
More like, old and lame,
isn't it?
519
00:30:14,412 --> 00:30:17,210
The high guy would've just
ripped 'em right off, you know,
520
00:30:17,282 --> 00:30:19,477
back in the... back in the day.
521
00:30:19,551 --> 00:30:22,782
- But the day's today, isn't it?
- This isn't necessary.
522
00:30:22,854 --> 00:30:26,551
[Chuckles] Yeah, come on.
Come on! Huh?
523
00:30:28,092 --> 00:30:31,255
Now you see what you started?
You even got Doug out of his drawers.
524
00:30:31,329 --> 00:30:33,320
What the hell,
you know what I mean?
525
00:30:33,398 --> 00:30:35,195
But everybody
keep their distance.
526
00:30:35,266 --> 00:30:38,497
I don't want the whole size
thing to ruin our friendship.
527
00:30:38,570 --> 00:30:41,562
Launching mine.
Over your head, baby.
528
00:30:41,639 --> 00:30:43,630
Whew. You guys are nuts.
529
00:30:48,980 --> 00:30:50,811
Come on! Huh?
530
00:30:50,882 --> 00:30:55,512
[Laughs] Fine. I will
get naked with my gay friends,
531
00:30:55,587 --> 00:30:58,886
and if any of them look at
my junk, I will kill them.
532
00:31:02,227 --> 00:31:04,627
Gentlemen, these are
the good old days.
533
00:31:04,696 --> 00:31:05,685
[All laugh]
534
00:31:05,763 --> 00:31:08,129
[All groan]
535
00:31:08,199 --> 00:31:09,996
[All laugh]
536
00:31:10,068 --> 00:31:12,366
- [Car horn honking]
- [Children screaming]
537
00:31:12,437 --> 00:31:14,769
[Man] Come on, kids!
Come on!
538
00:31:14,839 --> 00:31:17,069
- Whoo!
- Oh, no.
539
00:31:17,141 --> 00:31:18,904
Last one in
smells like Uncle Eddie!
540
00:31:18,977 --> 00:31:20,638
Aw, hell no.
541
00:31:20,712 --> 00:31:23,977
Hope you guys don't mind company.
Minivan was getting crowded.
542
00:31:24,048 --> 00:31:28,041
There's a much shallower creek
for kids just up the canyon a bit.
543
00:31:28,119 --> 00:31:29,711
Oh, no, my kids like to dive.
544
00:31:29,787 --> 00:31:31,584
Marky, show this guy your dive.
545
00:31:31,656 --> 00:31:34,819
If you put your arms out, he
does a backflip right into them.
546
00:31:34,893 --> 00:31:36,861
No! Don't do that,
it's not a good idea.
547
00:31:36,928 --> 00:31:38,486
Oh, hello.
548
00:31:38,563 --> 00:31:40,292
You gentlemen like potato salad?
549
00:31:40,365 --> 00:31:41,525
We've got extra.
550
00:31:41,599 --> 00:31:43,931
But, uh, you might wanna
eat that way over there.
551
00:31:44,002 --> 00:31:45,902
Uh, less ants and snakes.
552
00:31:45,970 --> 00:31:47,961
The kids are coming.
The kids are coming.
553
00:31:48,039 --> 00:31:50,064
No... Oh, whoa. Guys,
you can't swim here.
554
00:31:50,141 --> 00:31:52,609
Crawfish, big crawfish,
they're snapping... Ow!
555
00:31:52,677 --> 00:31:54,167
Crawfish! [shouts]
556
00:31:54,245 --> 00:31:55,803
Lemme see if I can catch one!
557
00:31:56,814 --> 00:31:59,112
You see? He's
looking for crawfish!
558
00:31:59,183 --> 00:32:01,083
- I told you!
- He's gonna find a couple!
559
00:32:01,152 --> 00:32:02,517
Where is he?
560
00:32:07,458 --> 00:32:09,722
Marky! Cooper! Ava!
561
00:32:09,794 --> 00:32:11,762
Let's, uh, let's get
out of the water.
562
00:32:11,829 --> 00:32:13,797
- Find a new spot.
- Why, Hugh?
563
00:32:13,865 --> 00:32:15,730
This is such a nice...
564
00:32:16,801 --> 00:32:18,860
Oh, my God.
565
00:32:18,937 --> 00:32:21,770
- I didn't wanna do this.
- Out of the water! Now!
566
00:32:21,839 --> 00:32:23,272
Kids, listen to your dad.
567
00:32:23,341 --> 00:32:25,138
- No!
- Aw! We just got here!
568
00:32:25,209 --> 00:32:28,303
Get out of the damn water, now!
Run! Run! Run! Go!
569
00:32:28,379 --> 00:32:31,871
Take it. Take it! What's wrong
with these people? Come on, go!
570
00:32:31,950 --> 00:32:34,612
I'll bet her potato salad
was really good.
571
00:32:36,955 --> 00:32:39,116
- Maybe we should go.
- Yeah, let's go.
572
00:32:39,190 --> 00:32:40,589
Why? They ain't coming back!
573
00:32:40,658 --> 00:32:45,925
[Whistling] Fellas!
Forget about them!
574
00:32:45,997 --> 00:32:50,024
More room for us, huh?
Come on! [chortling]
575
00:32:50,101 --> 00:32:53,002
You like what you see?
Huh? Let's get involved!
576
00:32:59,744 --> 00:33:02,804
Whoo! Now that's
what I'm talking about!
577
00:33:02,880 --> 00:33:04,313
Whoo!
578
00:33:04,382 --> 00:33:07,681
I saw your bikes
over there and I...
579
00:33:09,487 --> 00:33:11,421
Chicken fights, fellas?
580
00:33:12,523 --> 00:33:14,957
No? Plan B...
581
00:33:16,194 --> 00:33:18,389
- Marco...
- Polo.
582
00:33:18,463 --> 00:33:21,330
Mar... Marco...
583
00:33:21,399 --> 00:33:25,199
[laughing] Marco!
584
00:33:25,269 --> 00:33:28,830
[# Jett: Get Me Outta Here]
585
00:33:51,529 --> 00:33:53,224
Thank you so much!
586
00:33:53,297 --> 00:33:56,892
And, uh, I left
a window open, all right?
587
00:34:35,306 --> 00:34:38,935
Oh, yeah.
Now, this is a biker bar.
588
00:34:39,010 --> 00:34:40,910
I'm buying, let's go.
589
00:34:43,014 --> 00:34:46,245
I hope they have bran muffins.
I'm a little bound up.
590
00:34:51,089 --> 00:34:53,956
- [Thudding]
- My damn leg's asleep!
591
00:34:54,025 --> 00:34:56,084
Oh, it's got an emblem, too.
An FLH emblem.
592
00:34:56,160 --> 00:34:58,060
That is rare, man. Rare.
593
00:34:58,129 --> 00:35:01,030
- Can you see this?
- Oh, man. That's beautiful.
594
00:35:02,200 --> 00:35:04,395
- What's wrong with you?
- My legs are asleep.
595
00:35:04,469 --> 00:35:07,870
[Rock music]
596
00:35:07,939 --> 00:35:11,136
[Music dwindles to a stop]
597
00:35:17,381 --> 00:35:19,315
- How 'bout this one?
- [Music starts up]
598
00:35:19,383 --> 00:35:21,715
- Yeah.
- [Indistinct chatter]
599
00:35:23,187 --> 00:35:24,677
You guys want beers?
600
00:35:24,755 --> 00:35:27,883
I gotta find that guy with the
'55 bike, man. It is beautiful.
601
00:35:29,193 --> 00:35:32,993
Nice tat.
Where'd you get it?
602
00:35:33,064 --> 00:35:36,158
Leavenworth. You?
603
00:35:36,234 --> 00:35:38,293
Meadow Hills Galleria.
604
00:35:45,009 --> 00:35:48,274
I don't think I've ever seen
you guys around here before.
605
00:35:48,813 --> 00:35:50,371
What's your, uh...
606
00:35:50,448 --> 00:35:52,814
- Hey, hey, hey, hey.
- Wild Hogs.
607
00:35:52,884 --> 00:35:54,784
That the name
of your little gang?
608
00:35:54,852 --> 00:35:58,015
Not a gang. We're friends
riding from Cincinnati to the coast.
609
00:35:58,089 --> 00:36:00,353
Hey, man. We in your seats?
610
00:36:00,424 --> 00:36:02,358
- No.
- Nah, 'cause we could just...
611
00:36:02,426 --> 00:36:04,986
No. No, no,
n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-no.
612
00:36:05,062 --> 00:36:09,158
...we'll roll out.
- No, n-n-no. No. I insist. Sit.
613
00:36:09,233 --> 00:36:10,598
- Sit?
- Sit. I insist.
614
00:36:10,668 --> 00:36:13,136
I think I'm gonna
join you fellas.
615
00:36:13,204 --> 00:36:15,138
Actually, we have a...
[clears throat]
616
00:36:15,206 --> 00:36:16,935
[Man] Yeah, let's join them.
617
00:36:17,008 --> 00:36:20,967
Make ourselves some
nice new little friends.
618
00:36:21,045 --> 00:36:22,535
- Nice patch.
- Yeah.
619
00:36:22,613 --> 00:36:25,480
Did you get your grandmother
to needlepoint that for you?
620
00:36:25,550 --> 00:36:28,542
Well, what's... what's going on
with you there, uh, Cochise?
621
00:36:28,619 --> 00:36:30,382
What's your story?
622
00:36:37,962 --> 00:36:40,487
Wh... What is that
supposed to be? Is he blind?
623
00:36:40,565 --> 00:36:42,294
He wasn't when he
walked in here.
624
00:36:42,366 --> 00:36:43,993
Hey! I'm talking to you!
625
00:36:44,068 --> 00:36:46,536
- You hear me?
- He can hear fine.
626
00:36:46,604 --> 00:36:49,072
Look, we're...
We don't want any trouble.
627
00:36:49,140 --> 00:36:52,507
[Chuckling] I do.
628
00:36:52,577 --> 00:36:56,707
Actually, that's what
I'm looking forward to the most.
629
00:36:56,781 --> 00:36:57,770
[Chuckling]
630
00:36:57,848 --> 00:36:59,839
That's what he's
looking forward to!
631
00:36:59,917 --> 00:37:03,080
- [Cackling]
- I heard him say that. I heard him.
632
00:37:05,790 --> 00:37:06,848
Shut up.
633
00:37:09,760 --> 00:37:11,819
All right.
634
00:37:11,896 --> 00:37:14,387
You're looking for trouble?
635
00:37:16,701 --> 00:37:18,692
You gotta be careful
about Bobby here.
636
00:37:18,769 --> 00:37:20,600
His temper's like
a Roman candle.
637
00:37:20,671 --> 00:37:23,333
Man...
That's a damn lie!
638
00:37:23,407 --> 00:37:25,898
On the other hand,
Woody over here,
639
00:37:25,977 --> 00:37:28,502
you get him mad,
people get broke.
640
00:37:29,981 --> 00:37:31,608
Doug makes kids cry.
641
00:37:31,682 --> 00:37:34,549
- What?
- Yeah. You make kids cry.
642
00:37:34,619 --> 00:37:36,018
You made my child cry.
643
00:37:36,087 --> 00:37:38,021
Your kid was crying
before she got to me.
644
00:37:38,089 --> 00:37:40,489
Yeah. But I asked you
to give her a lollipop. Be...
645
00:37:40,558 --> 00:37:42,788
- It calms her down.
- You can't give a lolli...
646
00:37:42,860 --> 00:37:45,328
- All right, shut up!
- You know what?
647
00:37:45,396 --> 00:37:47,261
I think we better get out of here.
648
00:37:47,331 --> 00:37:49,959
No. We'll get
out of here at sundown.
649
00:37:50,034 --> 00:37:51,865
After we've had our beverage.
650
00:37:51,936 --> 00:37:54,461
Sundown, Hoss? What?
651
00:37:54,538 --> 00:37:59,771
These are on me. You got
the mocha lattes yesterday.
652
00:37:59,844 --> 00:38:01,505
- Ah...
- Hey, brother.
653
00:38:01,579 --> 00:38:06,243
- [Chortling] Another Wild Hog!
- Yep.
654
00:38:06,317 --> 00:38:09,309
Yep-er-oonie.
That's our gang.
655
00:38:09,387 --> 00:38:13,619
Hey, uh, who owns that
'48 Panhead outside?
656
00:38:13,691 --> 00:38:15,283
Uh, that's my '48.
657
00:38:15,359 --> 00:38:17,452
Sweet ride.
658
00:38:17,528 --> 00:38:21,430
And I'm sick of it.
How 'bout a trade there, brother?
659
00:38:21,499 --> 00:38:23,967
- Dudley. Dudley, Dudley.
- Oh. I wish.
660
00:38:24,035 --> 00:38:26,595
I'm just on a Sportster.
Worth half of what yours is.
661
00:38:26,671 --> 00:38:28,832
A Sportster?
I grew up on a Sportster!
662
00:38:28,906 --> 00:38:30,806
I've been wanting another Sportster!
663
00:38:30,875 --> 00:38:33,366
Oh? No, no, no.
It's even better than that.
664
00:38:33,444 --> 00:38:35,344
In the gas tank
is one of my shoelaces.
665
00:38:35,413 --> 00:38:38,974
I dropped it in there when I was
trying to get my calculator watch out.
666
00:38:39,850 --> 00:38:41,374
- Dudley?
- Dudley.
667
00:38:41,452 --> 00:38:43,613
Dudley...
You got a deal.
668
00:38:43,688 --> 00:38:47,283
- Seriously? You're serious?
- Think. He's not gonna trade the bike.
669
00:38:47,358 --> 00:38:49,588
Dudley, I wanna see
what you look like on that.
670
00:38:49,660 --> 00:38:51,355
- You're on.
- [Bikers hooting]
671
00:38:51,429 --> 00:38:53,920
[Doug] Ah! Dudley!
Dudley, no. No, wait a minute.
672
00:38:53,998 --> 00:38:55,522
[Dudley] We gotta trade...
673
00:38:55,599 --> 00:38:57,226
Yo, check this out.
674
00:38:57,301 --> 00:39:00,202
Does anybody else get
that "pre-rape" feeling?
675
00:39:00,271 --> 00:39:04,173
I do. [chuckles]
676
00:39:07,011 --> 00:39:09,445
Oh, oh, this is great!
677
00:39:09,513 --> 00:39:11,811
No, no, no, no, no, no.
This is Joker's Panhead.
678
00:39:11,882 --> 00:39:13,873
I thought we were
talking about this one.
679
00:39:13,951 --> 00:39:15,782
Hey, your Panhead is over here.
680
00:39:15,853 --> 00:39:17,718
Oh. I was talking about...
681
00:39:17,788 --> 00:39:20,484
Nah, no, no, no, no.
I got a better one for you.
682
00:39:20,558 --> 00:39:24,050
It's right over here.
The red one, the Panhead.
683
00:39:24,128 --> 00:39:25,595
- Where?
- Right there.
684
00:39:25,663 --> 00:39:27,927
That's a Panhead.
There're no other Panheads.
685
00:39:27,998 --> 00:39:29,192
- That?
- Yeah.
686
00:39:29,266 --> 00:39:30,961
That's a pile of junk.
687
00:39:31,035 --> 00:39:33,663
Yeah. That's your pile of junk.
688
00:39:38,676 --> 00:39:41,201
- This guy's joking you.
- You wanna know the joke?
689
00:39:41,278 --> 00:39:43,906
The joke is suburban assholes
who buy leather outfits
690
00:39:43,981 --> 00:39:47,382
who think they're bikers.
And it's a joke that I'm damn sick of.
691
00:39:47,451 --> 00:39:50,215
You wanna know who
a real biker is? Damien Blade.
692
00:39:50,287 --> 00:39:53,120
He founded the Del Fuegos
and he built this bar
693
00:39:53,190 --> 00:39:55,385
for real bikers, not this!
694
00:39:55,459 --> 00:39:57,017
Hey, we have a right
to be bikers.
695
00:39:57,094 --> 00:39:59,722
You don't have any rights.
Shut up! I knew you assholes
696
00:39:59,797 --> 00:40:02,425
the minute I laid eyes on you.
Look at the four of you!
697
00:40:02,500 --> 00:40:04,968
- You don't know us.
- You don't think I know you?
698
00:40:05,035 --> 00:40:07,469
What? You're probably a...
a podiatrist
699
00:40:07,538 --> 00:40:09,870
or a ear-nose-and-throat specialist.
700
00:40:09,940 --> 00:40:11,840
- I wish.
- Orthodontist?
701
00:40:11,909 --> 00:40:14,605
Oh. Close enough.
702
00:40:14,678 --> 00:40:17,306
And you, Bobby,
guaranteed you're henpecked.
703
00:40:17,381 --> 00:40:20,179
- Right? Your wife wears the pants.
- You know my wife?
704
00:40:20,251 --> 00:40:22,776
And you, you anal-retentive wimp,
705
00:40:22,853 --> 00:40:25,219
guarantee you bag your own shit.
706
00:40:25,289 --> 00:40:27,052
Wow, you're good.
707
00:40:27,124 --> 00:40:29,524
- What color am I thinking of?
- Shut up.
708
00:40:30,761 --> 00:40:32,626
You're the biggest
poser of them all,
709
00:40:33,431 --> 00:40:35,023
aren't you, squinty?
710
00:40:35,933 --> 00:40:38,367
Go home. Just go home.
711
00:40:38,436 --> 00:40:40,904
Go home. You couldn't
handle this freedom anyhow.
712
00:40:40,971 --> 00:40:43,371
Get out of here.
Go back to your safe little lives.
713
00:40:43,441 --> 00:40:45,500
Let's get our bikes.
We'll get out of here.
714
00:40:45,576 --> 00:40:48,136
You're not listening.
I'm taking your friend's bike
715
00:40:48,212 --> 00:40:50,373
and you guys are gonna
hit the road and go back
716
00:40:50,448 --> 00:40:53,246
to wherever the hell it is
that you came from. Understand?
717
00:40:53,317 --> 00:40:55,410
We're gonna have to
work something out.
718
00:40:55,486 --> 00:40:59,047
All right.
Let's work something out.
719
00:40:59,123 --> 00:41:02,456
[# John Fogerty:
Keep on Chooglin']
720
00:41:13,871 --> 00:41:16,931
Hey! What's going on?
Something break?
721
00:41:17,007 --> 00:41:19,942
- What's up, man? What's up?
- This is bullshit, man.
722
00:41:20,010 --> 00:41:22,240
We should go back there
and get Dudley's bike.
723
00:41:22,313 --> 00:41:24,611
That's why we're stopping?
What are you, nuts?
724
00:41:24,682 --> 00:41:26,081
We're gonna call the police.
725
00:41:26,150 --> 00:41:28,015
I gotta borrow somebody's cell phone.
726
00:41:28,085 --> 00:41:30,110
Einstein had us
throw 'em away, remember?
727
00:41:30,187 --> 00:41:31,950
Hey, look, man,
damn the bike.
728
00:41:32,022 --> 00:41:34,422
He's gonna have to roll
with that little sidecar.
729
00:41:34,492 --> 00:41:36,585
- Right.
- Let's get up outta here, man.
730
00:41:36,660 --> 00:41:40,255
Come on. The trip is over 'cause
some tattooed bullies pushed us around?
731
00:41:40,331 --> 00:41:41,491
[Both] Yeah.
732
00:41:42,933 --> 00:41:43,922
I go where you go.
733
00:41:44,001 --> 00:41:45,696
Good. See? He's got balls.
734
00:41:45,769 --> 00:41:47,999
No. I mean my sidecar's
attached to your bike.
735
00:41:48,072 --> 00:41:50,870
I'd rather turn back.
But, honestly, how far could I roll?
736
00:41:50,941 --> 00:41:52,431
I'm not gonna
let this happen.
737
00:41:52,510 --> 00:41:54,341
I say we go back
and we get his bike.
738
00:41:54,411 --> 00:41:55,639
- You?
- Yeah.
739
00:41:55,713 --> 00:41:59,274
Who died and elected you pope? This
isn't about Dudley, this is about you.
740
00:41:59,350 --> 00:42:02,148
You, you. All through high school
it's always about you,
741
00:42:02,219 --> 00:42:03,982
- and I am sick of it!
- Oh, screw you.
742
00:42:04,054 --> 00:42:05,817
It's not my fault
you hate your life.
743
00:42:05,890 --> 00:42:08,825
- I love my life. Why do you...?
- Let me tell you something!
744
00:42:08,893 --> 00:42:11,054
This trip's supposed
to be about adventure!
745
00:42:11,128 --> 00:42:14,256
But no. You're too busy dragging
your baggage to let that happen.
746
00:42:14,331 --> 00:42:16,196
Well, thank you, Dr. Freud.
747
00:42:16,267 --> 00:42:18,201
Look, I'm not going back
to get that bike
748
00:42:18,269 --> 00:42:20,794
to satisfy your bruised ego.
Are you guys with me?
749
00:42:20,871 --> 00:42:22,771
- Oh, I'm with you.
- Yeah, I agree.
750
00:42:22,840 --> 00:42:25,570
There you go, Woody.
We're not going back there with you.
751
00:42:25,643 --> 00:42:27,941
[Dudley] Should we go after him?
752
00:42:28,012 --> 00:42:29,479
[Doug sighs] Probably.
753
00:42:29,547 --> 00:42:32,038
- Are we going to?
- [Both] Nope.
754
00:42:38,722 --> 00:42:40,815
[Bikers cheering]
755
00:42:46,730 --> 00:42:48,664
[Chattering indistinctly]
756
00:42:49,900 --> 00:42:53,893
[# Bon Jovi:
Wanted Dead or Alive]
757
00:43:30,774 --> 00:43:33,299
Come after us now, assholes.
758
00:43:44,688 --> 00:43:46,986
[Motorcycle approaching]
759
00:43:53,330 --> 00:43:55,764
- I'll be a son of a gun.
- Oh, snap!
760
00:43:57,001 --> 00:43:58,935
You did it!
You got her back!
761
00:43:59,003 --> 00:44:01,335
- Woo-hoo!
- Ha-ha!
762
00:44:01,405 --> 00:44:02,667
Who's your daddy?!
763
00:44:02,740 --> 00:44:05,231
- You are my daddy!
- Yeah, that's right, baby.
764
00:44:05,309 --> 00:44:07,243
Aw, man!
765
00:44:07,311 --> 00:44:09,541
- Thank you!
- How'd you do it?
766
00:44:09,613 --> 00:44:12,241
OK, they were
totally pissed off.
767
00:44:12,316 --> 00:44:14,546
So I take a new tact. Reality.
768
00:44:14,618 --> 00:44:17,416
So I said to 'em,
"OK, assault us. No problem.
769
00:44:17,488 --> 00:44:19,115
Because we may not be
real bikers,
770
00:44:19,189 --> 00:44:21,749
but we know real lawyers.
And as soon as you touch us,
771
00:44:21,825 --> 00:44:24,350
we'll sue you for everything
you got and everything
772
00:44:24,428 --> 00:44:26,487
you're gonna have."
And they backed down.
773
00:44:26,563 --> 00:44:28,622
They totally backed down.
It was awesome.
774
00:44:28,699 --> 00:44:30,667
- You really said that?
- Yeah!
775
00:44:30,734 --> 00:44:32,167
My man!
776
00:44:32,236 --> 00:44:34,727
- Show me love. Show me love.
- Yeah!
777
00:44:34,805 --> 00:44:37,365
Hey, guess what.
The trip's back on.
778
00:44:37,441 --> 00:44:38,908
- It's back on!
- The trip is on!
779
00:44:38,976 --> 00:44:41,001
Wait. We're gonna
go back that way, then?
780
00:44:41,078 --> 00:44:42,340
Yeah, they don't care.
781
00:44:42,413 --> 00:44:45,974
We should just do it before
they change their minds.
782
00:44:46,050 --> 00:44:49,019
- Pacific Ocean, here we come!
- Whoo!
783
00:44:49,086 --> 00:44:51,486
[# ACIDC: Highway to Hell]
784
00:44:56,894 --> 00:44:58,589
[Indistinct chatter]
785
00:45:01,665 --> 00:45:04,896
Son of a bitch.
Come on. Come on!
786
00:45:23,153 --> 00:45:25,348
- [Honking]
- Thanks, guys!
787
00:45:30,894 --> 00:45:33,419
Those assholes got balls.
788
00:45:33,497 --> 00:45:36,193
That I'm gonna put in
my mouth and chew on!
789
00:45:37,534 --> 00:45:39,968
You're gonna put what
in your mouth?
790
00:45:42,072 --> 00:45:44,939
Come on! Del Fuegos,
let's smoke those hogs!
791
00:45:45,008 --> 00:45:46,771
- Let's go!
- Come on!
792
00:45:56,687 --> 00:45:58,348
What the hell...?
Aw, shit!
793
00:45:58,422 --> 00:46:01,687
Fire, fire!
Fire, everybody.
794
00:46:01,759 --> 00:46:03,454
Hey! Fire,
come on, get off!
795
00:46:03,527 --> 00:46:04,755
Fire, fire!
Get away.
796
00:46:04,828 --> 00:46:06,853
Come on!
797
00:46:06,930 --> 00:46:09,524
Get out of there!
Get out of there!
798
00:46:12,202 --> 00:46:13,965
[All shouting]
799
00:46:25,215 --> 00:46:28,116
Oh, shit!
800
00:46:28,819 --> 00:46:31,652
Oh, God. Oh, no.
801
00:46:33,991 --> 00:46:36,050
- [Tires squealing]
- Come on. Let's go!
802
00:46:36,126 --> 00:46:38,754
What's your rush?
My balls are still vibrating.
803
00:46:38,829 --> 00:46:40,854
It's... It's the open road, man.
804
00:46:40,931 --> 00:46:42,660
It's riding free,
that's the rush.
805
00:46:42,733 --> 00:46:44,826
This isn't freedom,
this is a gas station!
806
00:46:44,902 --> 00:46:47,393
Built by the man!
A prison for our souls!
807
00:46:47,471 --> 00:46:49,098
My soul needs
something to drink.
808
00:46:49,173 --> 00:46:50,231
I need gas.
809
00:46:50,307 --> 00:46:51,934
We'll get gas at the next station.
810
00:46:52,009 --> 00:46:54,705
Come on, Wild Hogs. Let's go!
811
00:46:54,778 --> 00:46:57,303
- [Engines revving]
- Whoo-hoo! Let's ride!
812
00:46:57,381 --> 00:46:59,679
Did I miss the espresso stop?
813
00:46:59,750 --> 00:47:02,651
- [Woody continues hooting]
- He's moving.
814
00:47:02,719 --> 00:47:05,483
Yahoo!
815
00:47:27,010 --> 00:47:28,773
- [Grunting]
- Woody! You're an asshole.
816
00:47:28,846 --> 00:47:30,609
They should've had
a sign that said,
817
00:47:30,681 --> 00:47:33,081
"Last gas X amount of miles."
818
00:47:37,187 --> 00:47:39,621
- [Squawking]
- I need something to drink.
819
00:47:39,690 --> 00:47:42,625
I'm thirsty...
Or else I'm gonna die!
820
00:47:42,693 --> 00:47:46,390
[Doug] Yeah. You know,
I keep... saving my spit
821
00:47:46,463 --> 00:47:47,862
so it's like a drink of water,
822
00:47:47,931 --> 00:47:50,024
and it just keeps
tasting like... my spit.
823
00:47:50,100 --> 00:47:52,159
[Bobby panting]
They say you can get
824
00:47:52,236 --> 00:47:55,205
something to drink
out of a cactus, right?
825
00:47:55,272 --> 00:47:57,069
Where are the cactuses?
826
00:47:57,140 --> 00:47:59,802
We're in a desert
that don't have no damn cactuses.
827
00:47:59,877 --> 00:48:01,139
Yeah.
828
00:48:01,211 --> 00:48:05,147
Actually, I think
when it's plural, it's "cacti."
829
00:48:05,215 --> 00:48:07,479
- I'm killing him.
- You're gonna kill him?
830
00:48:07,551 --> 00:48:10,042
We're all thinking it.
Gonna need the nourishment.
831
00:48:10,120 --> 00:48:11,678
He'll put up the least struggle.
832
00:48:11,755 --> 00:48:13,985
- Move out of the way.
- You love Dudley.
833
00:48:14,057 --> 00:48:16,252
It's the sun.
It's making us all crazy.
834
00:48:16,326 --> 00:48:19,762
You're right, man.
My... my bad, Dud.
835
00:48:19,830 --> 00:48:21,855
You know, I don't know
what came over me.
836
00:48:21,932 --> 00:48:25,424
Dehydration. Your blood's thickening,
so your heart's working harder
837
00:48:25,502 --> 00:48:28,232
to pump it through your arteries.
Less gets to your head.
838
00:48:28,305 --> 00:48:30,933
Our bodies are literally
trying to drink themselves.
839
00:48:31,008 --> 00:48:32,703
All right. I'm killing him.
840
00:48:32,776 --> 00:48:35,006
[Doug] Wait a minute.
They got a sign up here.
841
00:48:35,078 --> 00:48:36,909
Curve of the road.
Read it!
842
00:48:36,980 --> 00:48:39,972
- Madrid? Spain?
- No. It's Madrid.
843
00:48:40,050 --> 00:48:42,075
That's what the locals say.
I Googled it.
844
00:48:42,152 --> 00:48:44,848
Gonna be water, food and gas.
845
00:48:44,922 --> 00:48:48,790
- We're gonna live.
- We gonna live!
846
00:48:48,859 --> 00:48:51,350
We gonna live, baby!
847
00:48:51,428 --> 00:48:53,828
[Country music plays]
848
00:48:55,465 --> 00:48:57,092
[Doug] It's closed!
849
00:48:57,167 --> 00:48:59,533
Ah, man! It's closed!
850
00:48:59,603 --> 00:49:02,128
But the diner up here...
851
00:49:02,205 --> 00:49:04,799
The diner's open!
Come on!
852
00:49:04,875 --> 00:49:07,867
- [All panting]
- Get me a drink, quick!
853
00:49:07,945 --> 00:49:09,606
- We need water!
- Quick!
854
00:49:09,680 --> 00:49:12,080
- Hey! Come on!
- Right here. Right here!
855
00:49:12,149 --> 00:49:13,138
Whoa!
856
00:49:13,216 --> 00:49:16,652
- Oh! Right here! Me!
- Me! Me!
857
00:49:16,720 --> 00:49:18,312
- You?
- Me!
858
00:49:18,388 --> 00:49:20,652
[Growling]
859
00:49:21,825 --> 00:49:24,885
- Hey!
- You!
860
00:49:24,962 --> 00:49:28,159
They were here three weeks ago.
They're already getting violent.
861
00:49:28,231 --> 00:49:30,665
It's OK, I got it.
862
00:49:31,735 --> 00:49:32,724
[Belching]
863
00:49:35,105 --> 00:49:37,665
- You gentlemen like a seat?
- Is there a booth open?
864
00:49:37,741 --> 00:49:39,538
- Let's go!
- [Dishes clattering]
865
00:49:39,609 --> 00:49:41,008
- Yeah. Uh, what?
- Come on.
866
00:49:42,479 --> 00:49:45,243
- Keep moving!
- Uh, nice town.
867
00:49:48,652 --> 00:49:53,817
So, uh, I...
868
00:49:54,624 --> 00:49:56,182
Uh...
869
00:50:03,266 --> 00:50:06,633
- She is perfect.
- You like the waitress?
870
00:50:06,703 --> 00:50:09,763
Oh, man. I wanted to say
something funny to her,
871
00:50:09,840 --> 00:50:11,774
but all I could think
of was black jokes.
872
00:50:12,909 --> 00:50:15,810
- Like which ones?
- I forget.
873
00:50:15,879 --> 00:50:19,508
Why don't you tell the one that ends
with you getting your ass whupped?
874
00:50:19,583 --> 00:50:22,381
- Would that be funny?
- I'll be laughing.
875
00:50:22,452 --> 00:50:25,148
Oh, I'll be cracking up.
[Laughs]
876
00:50:25,222 --> 00:50:29,124
- [Bell chimes]
- [Doug] Oh, it's the law. Oh, boy.
877
00:50:34,798 --> 00:50:37,961
- You boys here for the Chile Festival?
- What, you have a problem?
878
00:50:38,035 --> 00:50:41,368
You look like you saw something
explode or something, all right.
879
00:50:41,438 --> 00:50:42,871
We're just passing through.
880
00:50:42,939 --> 00:50:46,534
The people around here
don't want any more trouble.
881
00:50:46,610 --> 00:50:49,135
Now me, I got no problem
with you Del Fuegos
882
00:50:49,212 --> 00:50:51,544
as long as you boys
could stay sober...
883
00:50:51,615 --> 00:50:54,709
No, no. No, we're... we're not
associated with those assholes.
884
00:50:54,785 --> 00:50:56,377
- You're not?
- [Doug] No.
885
00:50:56,453 --> 00:50:57,977
- For real?
- Yeah.
886
00:50:58,055 --> 00:51:01,456
[Exhales deeply]
Folks, they're not Del Fuegos.
887
00:51:01,525 --> 00:51:03,493
[All sigh, murmuring]
888
00:51:03,560 --> 00:51:05,892
Are the Del Fuegos
a problem around here?
889
00:51:05,962 --> 00:51:08,624
Only if you expect 'em
to pay for a meal they just ate
890
00:51:08,698 --> 00:51:10,165
or a beer they just drank.
891
00:51:10,233 --> 00:51:12,098
- Won't have problems with us.
- No, no.
892
00:51:12,169 --> 00:51:15,366
- Then welcome to Madrid.
- Excuse me, sheriff?
893
00:51:15,439 --> 00:51:17,566
- Uh, the Del Fuegos?
- Yeah.
894
00:51:17,641 --> 00:51:21,077
OK, now. How often might
they come through this town?
895
00:51:21,144 --> 00:51:23,169
Oh, once every few months.
896
00:51:23,246 --> 00:51:24,713
- Oh?
- Yeah. Yeah.
897
00:51:24,781 --> 00:51:27,272
And... the gas station,
now when would that be open?
898
00:51:27,350 --> 00:51:29,682
That's closed on Sundays.
So tomorrow morning.
899
00:51:29,753 --> 00:51:31,152
Oh, God.
900
00:51:31,221 --> 00:51:34,713
But maybe you should seriously
consider spending the night.
901
00:51:34,791 --> 00:51:38,192
Because we're having
the world's hottest chili contest.
902
00:51:38,261 --> 00:51:41,094
The Chile Festival is not
something you wanna miss.
903
00:51:41,164 --> 00:51:43,962
Last year, somebody's throat
actually started to bleed.
904
00:51:44,034 --> 00:51:47,526
Oh, damn!
Somebody's throat started to bleed?
905
00:51:47,604 --> 00:51:49,401
Yeah. Changed their life.
906
00:51:49,473 --> 00:51:51,805
It's great. Think about it.
907
00:51:53,243 --> 00:51:56,906
We gotta get out of this town, man.
This town is a drag. We gotta move on.
908
00:51:56,980 --> 00:51:59,312
- We gotta find a way out.
- Woody, chill out, man.
909
00:51:59,382 --> 00:52:01,407
We finally get a chance to relax.
910
00:52:01,485 --> 00:52:03,385
Yeah. And being able
to use a bathroom,
911
00:52:03,453 --> 00:52:06,081
- that might be a good idea.
- And I can empty my poop bag.
912
00:52:06,156 --> 00:52:08,124
And you gonna re-use the bag?
913
00:52:08,191 --> 00:52:10,125
Woody, remember
the theme of this trip?
914
00:52:10,193 --> 00:52:11,990
"Whatever," remember?
"Whatever."
915
00:52:12,062 --> 00:52:13,359
OK, fine! Fine.
916
00:52:13,430 --> 00:52:16,228
We'll stay the night,
and we'll get gas in the morning. OK?
917
00:52:16,299 --> 00:52:18,767
Calm down.
I don't understand what your rush is.
918
00:52:18,835 --> 00:52:21,565
I'm not in a rush, man.
I just wanna ride, man.
919
00:52:21,638 --> 00:52:23,196
I just wanna ride. You know?
920
00:52:23,273 --> 00:52:25,537
# Ride, Sally, ride #
921
00:52:25,609 --> 00:52:29,170
You are so weird. He asks the...
You say the weirdest things, man.
922
00:52:29,246 --> 00:52:32,613
You're like, "We're digging roots,
buying real estate and shit."
923
00:52:32,682 --> 00:52:35,378
Yeah. Why don't you just... [sobbing]
924
00:52:35,452 --> 00:52:38,012
What?! What?
925
00:52:46,062 --> 00:52:47,654
All right, everybody come here.
926
00:52:47,731 --> 00:52:49,631
Come on.
927
00:52:51,968 --> 00:52:54,300
All right.
928
00:52:54,371 --> 00:52:55,861
We're here. Right?
929
00:52:55,939 --> 00:52:59,067
They could be in any of these towns.
Right around here. All right?
930
00:52:59,142 --> 00:53:01,337
We're gonna find them,
we're gonna get 'em.
931
00:53:01,411 --> 00:53:02,673
I don't know, Jack.
932
00:53:02,746 --> 00:53:05,613
I mean, by my calculations...
[stuttering] I'm thinking,
933
00:53:05,682 --> 00:53:07,775
if they're four hours
ahead of us, we can...
934
00:53:07,851 --> 00:53:11,184
Shut up! Anybody else wanna
tell me how hard this is gonna be?
935
00:53:11,254 --> 00:53:13,779
Huh? Any other naysayers?
936
00:53:13,857 --> 00:53:17,554
Good. I want you to
break up into two-man teams.
937
00:53:17,627 --> 00:53:19,686
You call me when you find 'em.
938
00:53:19,763 --> 00:53:19,863
- [Indistinct chatter]
- [# Pony]
939
00:53:19,863 --> 00:53:25,426
- [Indistinct chatter]
- [# Pony]
940
00:53:27,237 --> 00:53:29,228
[Singing]
941
00:53:50,860 --> 00:53:54,023
Oh, snap.
A softball pitch.
942
00:53:54,097 --> 00:53:56,395
You... I gotta win
something for my girls.
943
00:53:56,466 --> 00:53:58,627
Wait a minute.
You think you're good at this?
944
00:53:58,702 --> 00:53:59,999
Oh, I know I'm good at this.
945
00:54:00,070 --> 00:54:03,437
Hey, on my Little League team,
they used to call me "Bull's Eye Bobby."
946
00:54:03,506 --> 00:54:05,440
- Yeah.
- 'Cause I had pinpoint control.
947
00:54:05,508 --> 00:54:06,497
Right.
948
00:54:06,576 --> 00:54:09,204
A hundred forty-four innings,
never walked a batter.
949
00:54:09,279 --> 00:54:10,769
Watch me work, baby.
950
00:54:10,847 --> 00:54:12,246
- Here you go.
- How you doin'?
951
00:54:12,315 --> 00:54:13,543
- Good luck.
- Thank you.
952
00:54:13,617 --> 00:54:15,847
All right, Bull's Eye Bobby, folks!
953
00:54:17,654 --> 00:54:19,986
Bull's Eye Bobby, baby.
954
00:54:20,957 --> 00:54:23,858
It's probably been, what?
Twenty-eight years, Bulls Eye?
955
00:54:23,927 --> 00:54:26,225
[Up-tempo music plays]
956
00:54:30,567 --> 00:54:33,058
- Hey.
- Hi.
957
00:54:34,070 --> 00:54:36,061
So, um...
958
00:54:37,507 --> 00:54:39,634
- Excuse me?
- [Clears throat] Never mind.
959
00:54:39,709 --> 00:54:42,940
- So you like chili?
- Oh, yeah. Not the hot stuff.
960
00:54:43,013 --> 00:54:45,481
But you put a nice,
mild turkey chili in front of me?
961
00:54:45,548 --> 00:54:46,947
Oh, yeah, I'm gonna eat it.
962
00:54:47,017 --> 00:54:49,747
That's too bad 'cause
I wanted you to try mine, but...
963
00:54:49,819 --> 00:54:51,878
...it's pretty hot.
- No, I'll try it!
964
00:54:51,955 --> 00:54:55,789
I like your kinda hot. The...
In your chili. The chili hot. Food hot.
965
00:54:55,859 --> 00:54:58,657
That's the kinda hot
I wanna kiss. Eat.
966
00:55:00,130 --> 00:55:01,995
OK. If you're sure
you can handle it.
967
00:55:02,065 --> 00:55:04,761
Handle it? I'm a biker.
[Chuckles]
968
00:55:04,834 --> 00:55:06,825
- What'd you call him?
- Bull's Eye Bobby!
969
00:55:06,903 --> 00:55:08,302
Bull's Eye Bobby, baby.
970
00:55:08,371 --> 00:55:11,169
- Yeah, Bull's Eye. Yep.
- Ha-ha-ha!
971
00:55:12,642 --> 00:55:15,008
- [Muffled groan]
- Oh...
972
00:55:17,113 --> 00:55:21,743
- I guess that counts as a walk?
- I'm gonna sit. [whimpers]
973
00:55:21,818 --> 00:55:24,810
[# Don't Cha]
974
00:55:24,888 --> 00:55:27,152
[Singing]
975
00:55:38,702 --> 00:55:40,135
Mmm.
976
00:55:40,203 --> 00:55:42,694
Smooth. Tasty.
977
00:55:42,772 --> 00:55:45,297
Little... [coughs]... spice.
978
00:55:45,375 --> 00:55:47,843
It gets a little hotter
as it sits in your throat.
979
00:55:48,778 --> 00:55:51,042
- [Groans]
- You OK?
980
00:55:51,114 --> 00:55:52,342
Mm.
981
00:55:52,415 --> 00:55:54,713
You want some of this?
It'll cool you down.
982
00:55:54,784 --> 00:55:59,312
[Garbling, muttering]
983
00:55:59,389 --> 00:56:01,721
Don't worry, your throat
won't actually bleed.
984
00:56:01,791 --> 00:56:05,283
- [Continues garbling]
- I understand.
985
00:56:09,265 --> 00:56:12,792
[Dudley] Mother of God!
I swallowed hot lava!
986
00:56:12,869 --> 00:56:14,860
[Continues singing]
987
00:56:20,443 --> 00:56:22,240
Hundred and forty-four innings,
988
00:56:22,312 --> 00:56:24,177
you never hit anybody
in the crotch?
989
00:56:24,247 --> 00:56:26,579
Not on purpose, man, all right?
You all right?
990
00:56:26,649 --> 00:56:30,016
- Yeah, it's... Good fastball.
- Hey. I'd like you boys
991
00:56:30,086 --> 00:56:32,350
to meet my deputies,
Earl and Buck Dooble.
992
00:56:32,422 --> 00:56:34,413
- How are you, Earl?
- I'm Earl. He's Buck.
993
00:56:34,491 --> 00:56:36,891
- [Doug] Earl, Buck.
- Now, just remember:
994
00:56:36,960 --> 00:56:40,259
Brother with the word "ear" in his name
has got both on his head.
995
00:56:42,165 --> 00:56:44,929
See, I can only say that
'cause I'm on his right side,
996
00:56:45,001 --> 00:56:47,333
which, as you can see,
is mostly blown off.
997
00:56:47,404 --> 00:56:49,565
- You say something?
- [Shouting] I did not.
998
00:56:49,639 --> 00:56:52,938
Needless to say,
we don't carry firearms anymore.
999
00:56:53,009 --> 00:56:55,136
I mean, sometimes
you pull 'em out,
1000
00:56:55,211 --> 00:56:57,771
you think they're not loaded,
and then sometimes...
1001
00:56:57,847 --> 00:56:59,610
They blow your
deputy's ear off?
1002
00:56:59,682 --> 00:57:01,616
Yeah.
1003
00:57:04,053 --> 00:57:06,112
What brings you boys
on this trip, anyway?
1004
00:57:06,189 --> 00:57:09,158
Firstly, we had to get away, OK?
1005
00:57:09,225 --> 00:57:11,659
And secondly, you know,
you just never know
1006
00:57:11,728 --> 00:57:14,253
how many more summers
you've got left.
1007
00:57:14,330 --> 00:57:17,788
- Do you?
- Wow. That's deep.
1008
00:57:17,867 --> 00:57:19,732
I just came on this trip,
1009
00:57:19,803 --> 00:57:22,567
you know, hoping to reclaim
the old Doug, you know?
1010
00:57:22,639 --> 00:57:26,097
You know, I know
exactly what you mean.
1011
00:57:26,176 --> 00:57:30,169
You know, you can never let life
get too stagnant or too safe.
1012
00:57:30,246 --> 00:57:31,838
Every now and then you gotta do
1013
00:57:31,915 --> 00:57:35,043
what we folks around here
like to call "Slap the Bull."
1014
00:57:35,118 --> 00:57:36,312
"Slapping the Bull"?
1015
00:57:36,386 --> 00:57:38,946
That's just a little game we play
1016
00:57:39,022 --> 00:57:41,923
to make sure your life
is not controlled by fear.
1017
00:57:41,991 --> 00:57:43,686
Yeah, I wanna do that.
1018
00:57:43,760 --> 00:57:45,853
Oh, come on, guys.
We're exhausted.
1019
00:57:45,929 --> 00:57:48,625
I think we should just put
the bikes in back of the hotel,
1020
00:57:48,698 --> 00:57:52,395
in a shed with the doors closed,
perhaps, and then play Scrabble
1021
00:57:52,469 --> 00:57:54,733
in the... in the room
with the shades down.
1022
00:57:54,804 --> 00:57:58,171
Look, Aunt Bee, maybe you wanna do
something else here in Mayberry.
1023
00:57:58,241 --> 00:57:59,230
Yeah.
1024
00:57:59,309 --> 00:58:02,904
- How 'bout a little Bull Slap?
- Sounds like something I could win at.
1025
00:58:02,979 --> 00:58:04,913
- Yeah.
- I'll take a little Bull Slap.
1026
00:58:04,981 --> 00:58:07,415
Look, Bull Slap for everybody.
Line 'em up.
1027
00:58:07,484 --> 00:58:09,884
- Let's have a little Bull Slap.
- We'll do it!
1028
00:58:11,087 --> 00:58:13,317
So literally, we're gonna slap a bull?
1029
00:58:13,389 --> 00:58:17,655
Yep. Right on the ass. And then you're
gonna wanna hightail it outta there.
1030
00:58:17,727 --> 00:58:19,285
- Why?
- 'Cause he can kill you.
1031
00:58:19,362 --> 00:58:20,852
- Mm-hmm.
- Perfect.
1032
00:58:20,930 --> 00:58:23,262
Hey, man, I thought
this was a drinking game.
1033
00:58:23,333 --> 00:58:25,961
Yeah, you know, you got
a lot of animals I would slap.
1034
00:58:26,035 --> 00:58:28,833
A chicken, I'd slap a chicken.
Or a goat, maybe.
1035
00:58:28,905 --> 00:58:30,600
A ferret, I'd slap, you know?
1036
00:58:30,673 --> 00:58:32,800
But I'm not...
I'm not gonna slap a bull.
1037
00:58:32,876 --> 00:58:35,709
Oh, come on, Doug.
It was your idea. Get in there!
1038
00:58:35,778 --> 00:58:38,178
I didn't know we...
Look at the nuts on that thing!
1039
00:58:38,248 --> 00:58:39,237
[Woody] Come on!
1040
00:58:39,315 --> 00:58:41,476
- [Doug] It's not safe.
- Not safe. Know what?
1041
00:58:41,551 --> 00:58:44,486
- You snooze, you lose. I'm going.
- Getting ready to do that?
1042
00:58:44,554 --> 00:58:46,146
- Yep!
- Oh!
1043
00:58:46,222 --> 00:58:49,214
You jackass. Go ahead, Woody.
Hope you're wearing a cup.
1044
00:58:50,894 --> 00:58:53,488
- Right on the ass.
- He looks confident.
1045
00:58:53,563 --> 00:58:54,894
Easy.
1046
00:59:04,274 --> 00:59:05,639
Whoa!
1047
00:59:05,708 --> 00:59:08,836
- Come on, get back, now!
- [All cheering]
1048
00:59:10,947 --> 00:59:12,346
Way to get back!
1049
00:59:12,415 --> 00:59:15,009
I just slapped
a big fat bull on the ass!
1050
00:59:15,084 --> 00:59:17,348
That was awesome! Who's next?
1051
00:59:17,420 --> 00:59:19,650
- Uh, Doug?
- Doug?
1052
00:59:19,722 --> 00:59:21,713
Yeah, no,
that'd be you, yeah.
1053
00:59:21,791 --> 00:59:23,088
Come on, Doug. Do it!
1054
00:59:23,159 --> 00:59:24,751
It's... it... you could...
1055
00:59:24,827 --> 00:59:26,317
That's really an, um...
1056
00:59:26,396 --> 00:59:28,421
Doug, go.
1057
00:59:28,498 --> 00:59:30,591
- Come on, man!
- Handle your business.
1058
00:59:30,667 --> 00:59:32,658
- [Woody] It was easy.
- I'm not gonna...
1059
00:59:32,735 --> 00:59:34,566
[Woody] Yeah, come on! It's fun!
1060
00:59:35,471 --> 00:59:37,462
Old days, Doug. Old days.
1061
00:59:37,540 --> 00:59:39,735
All right, all right,
I'm gonna slap a bull.
1062
00:59:39,809 --> 00:59:41,800
- I'm gonna slap that bull.
- There you go.
1063
00:59:41,878 --> 00:59:43,937
- [Woody] That's my Doug!
- There he goes.
1064
00:59:44,981 --> 00:59:46,915
Just slap it right there
on the rear end?
1065
00:59:46,983 --> 00:59:49,645
Right on the hind haunches.
1066
00:59:51,854 --> 00:59:54,084
You know, this is so good for Doug.
1067
00:59:54,157 --> 00:59:56,182
- Actually, it's good for all of us.
- Yeah.
1068
00:59:56,259 --> 00:59:58,124
Hey, thanks for bringing us here.
1069
00:59:58,194 --> 00:59:59,957
Sure. Glad we could help.
1070
01:00:00,029 --> 01:00:02,725
Yeah, and we never
seen it done twice in a row.
1071
01:00:02,799 --> 01:00:03,959
- Mm-mmm.
- What?
1072
01:00:04,033 --> 01:00:06,695
Be interesting to see how
the bull takes being slapped
1073
01:00:06,769 --> 01:00:09,135
- now that he's alert.
- Mm-hmm.
1074
01:00:09,205 --> 01:00:10,638
[Both] Alert?
1075
01:00:11,674 --> 01:00:13,642
- [Bellowing]
- [Panting]
1076
01:00:13,710 --> 01:00:15,610
- [All yelling]
- Get back!
1077
01:00:15,678 --> 01:00:17,305
- Hurry!
- Hey! Come on.
1078
01:00:18,881 --> 01:00:20,815
- [Screaming]
- [All groan]
1079
01:00:20,883 --> 01:00:22,680
Ow! [groans]
1080
01:00:24,454 --> 01:00:27,617
- He coming back!
- [All shouting]
1081
01:00:28,858 --> 01:00:29,882
Bull!
1082
01:00:29,959 --> 01:00:33,156
He coming back!
He coming back! Oh...!
1083
01:00:33,229 --> 01:00:36,926
Oh! Oh! Oh!
Ah! He almost got me!
1084
01:00:37,000 --> 01:00:39,366
Come on! What's this bully want?
Come on, bully!
1085
01:00:39,435 --> 01:00:42,427
You don't wanna use mockery!
That never works!
1086
01:00:42,505 --> 01:00:43,938
Cowboy's in trouble!
1087
01:00:45,141 --> 01:00:47,302
Maybe if you just
try to reason with it!
1088
01:00:47,377 --> 01:00:49,777
- He's coming back for more! Look out!
- Whoa!
1089
01:00:49,846 --> 01:00:53,009
He's more afraid of you
than you are of him!
1090
01:00:53,082 --> 01:00:54,515
[Sheriff] Watch out!
1091
01:00:54,584 --> 01:00:56,415
Watch out, watch out.
Come on!
1092
01:00:56,486 --> 01:00:58,386
- Come on, let's go, let's go!
- Oh!
1093
01:01:02,825 --> 01:01:04,292
What?!
1094
01:01:04,360 --> 01:01:08,763
- [Woody] Yeah, man, this is living!
- Yeah, we slapped a bull on the ass!
1095
01:01:08,831 --> 01:01:10,196
- Yes, sir!
- Yeah!
1096
01:01:10,266 --> 01:01:12,166
[Sheriff] Yeah, you sure did.
1097
01:01:12,235 --> 01:01:15,466
- You sure did!
- [Bobby] Hey, did y'all see my moves?
1098
01:01:15,538 --> 01:01:18,598
I was shaking and baking
just like the NFL, baby!
1099
01:01:18,675 --> 01:01:20,506
You hear what I'm saying?
1100
01:01:20,576 --> 01:01:23,807
I delivered it
right to the end zo...!
1101
01:01:23,880 --> 01:01:26,713
[# Kiss You All Over]
1102
01:01:33,523 --> 01:01:36,253
[Singing]
1103
01:01:42,298 --> 01:01:44,858
- Hey, look at him.
- He threw Bobby ten feet in the air.
1104
01:01:44,934 --> 01:01:47,630
Hey, man, that damn bull
kept following me around.
1105
01:01:47,704 --> 01:01:51,037
- You think it was my cologne?
- What are you wearing, Rodeo Clown?
1106
01:01:51,107 --> 01:01:52,802
- Hold on...
- So now you got jokes?
1107
01:01:52,875 --> 01:01:55,105
- [Laughing]
- Hey, Woody, you know,
1108
01:01:55,178 --> 01:01:58,909
I apologize for saying you had
ego issues earlier. All right?
1109
01:01:58,981 --> 01:02:00,539
I'm sorry I called you a pussy.
1110
01:02:02,251 --> 01:02:04,515
You didn't call me a pussy.
1111
01:02:04,587 --> 01:02:07,920
No, not to your face,
but that's what I was thinking!
1112
01:02:07,990 --> 01:02:11,221
Hey, we're just saying how much fun
this trip's turned out to be.
1113
01:02:11,294 --> 01:02:14,024
I was so close this time!
So close!
1114
01:02:14,230 --> 01:02:15,663
What's the matter, Dudley?
1115
01:02:16,232 --> 01:02:18,257
The waitress. I think she likes me.
1116
01:02:18,334 --> 01:02:20,325
- [Both] Good.
- No, it's not good.
1117
01:02:20,403 --> 01:02:22,394
She told me to meet her
on the dance floor.
1118
01:02:22,472 --> 01:02:23,837
- So?
- So? Go dance.
1119
01:02:23,906 --> 01:02:27,103
I can't go on the dance floor.
You know what I look like.
1120
01:02:27,176 --> 01:02:29,838
The music moves me,
but it moves me ugly.
1121
01:02:29,912 --> 01:02:32,745
Well, do that... sprinkler thing
you did at my wedding.
1122
01:02:32,815 --> 01:02:34,612
- Yeah.
- I can't do the sprinkler.
1123
01:02:34,684 --> 01:02:37,016
I've gotta... I need to...
1124
01:02:38,921 --> 01:02:40,354
- No.
- Yes.
1125
01:02:40,423 --> 01:02:41,720
I said no.
1126
01:02:41,791 --> 01:02:44,851
[Woody] Why don't we keep it simple,
why don't we just, uh...
1127
01:02:44,927 --> 01:02:47,862
We'll do the lindy.
I'll be the guy, you be the girl.
1128
01:02:47,930 --> 01:02:50,421
There we go.
And it's just... Remember?
1129
01:02:50,500 --> 01:02:52,764
- OK. Yeah, right.
- It's one and two
1130
01:02:52,835 --> 01:02:55,235
and three and four,
and turn her around,
1131
01:02:55,304 --> 01:02:57,568
- and start over again.
- Do it two times, and...
1132
01:02:57,640 --> 01:02:59,437
- Whatever you want.
- I'll be the guy.
1133
01:02:59,509 --> 01:03:01,568
- Be the guy, I'll be the girl.
- OK. Ready.
1134
01:03:01,644 --> 01:03:04,477
And one and two
and three and four.
1135
01:03:04,547 --> 01:03:08,449
One and two and three and four,
and turn me around and...
1136
01:03:08,518 --> 01:03:10,850
- Oh, yeah! Now we're...
- Oh, OK, that's enough.
1137
01:03:10,920 --> 01:03:13,582
- That's, uh, good lesson.
- What? No, wait. Is that it?
1138
01:03:13,656 --> 01:03:16,216
- Yeah, that's enough.
- That's just a pocket knife.
1139
01:03:16,292 --> 01:03:18,157
[Up-tempo music plays]
1140
01:03:18,227 --> 01:03:20,559
There she is.
You're ready. Go.
1141
01:03:20,630 --> 01:03:22,530
- Yeah, let's do it.
- I'm ready.
1142
01:03:22,598 --> 01:03:24,725
You're ready.
Come on. Go.
1143
01:03:50,660 --> 01:03:51,957
[Laughing]
1144
01:03:52,028 --> 01:03:53,359
Yeah!
1145
01:03:59,435 --> 01:04:01,403
- [Woman] Whoo!
- Check it out.
1146
01:04:11,747 --> 01:04:13,715
- [Gasps] Oh!
- Ahh!
1147
01:04:13,783 --> 01:04:15,512
[All] Oh! Whoa, whoa.
1148
01:04:18,888 --> 01:04:20,412
[Both] He's panicking.
1149
01:04:49,819 --> 01:04:52,344
Hey! That's my phone! [grunts]
1150
01:04:52,421 --> 01:04:54,446
Your minutes just expired.
1151
01:04:55,925 --> 01:04:59,383
- Baby! Baby, it's Murdock.
- Tell me you found them.
1152
01:04:59,462 --> 01:05:02,022
We did. They're in Madrid.
1153
01:05:02,098 --> 01:05:05,534
[Cackles] Good! Good, good,
good, good. I like Madrid!
1154
01:05:05,601 --> 01:05:07,569
The ground is soft enough
to bury them.
1155
01:05:07,637 --> 01:05:09,605
You want us to
smack 'em around a little?
1156
01:05:09,672 --> 01:05:11,071
[Jack] No! No! Listen to me!
1157
01:05:11,140 --> 01:05:13,472
You just make sure
they stay there. OK?
1158
01:05:13,542 --> 01:05:15,567
But do not touch them.
They're mine.
1159
01:05:15,645 --> 01:05:18,011
I wanna feel their
bones break under my fists.
1160
01:05:18,080 --> 01:05:19,775
Sounds like
a good beating, Jack.
1161
01:05:19,849 --> 01:05:21,817
We'll leave 'em for you, then.
1162
01:05:23,386 --> 01:05:26,446
Anyone else want some
Wild Hog for breakfast?
1163
01:05:26,522 --> 01:05:27,853
[All cheering]
1164
01:05:27,924 --> 01:05:31,018
- [Man] Yee-ha!
- [Light music playing]
1165
01:05:31,961 --> 01:05:33,451
[Spits]
1166
01:05:33,529 --> 01:05:35,861
You expect me to pay
for this piss-warm beer?
1167
01:05:35,932 --> 01:05:38,366
Here, you can have it back.
1168
01:05:38,434 --> 01:05:42,871
- [Laughing]
- [Moaning]
1169
01:05:42,939 --> 01:05:45,339
If we drank piss,
we'd drink it cold!
1170
01:05:46,742 --> 01:05:47,902
What?!
1171
01:05:49,178 --> 01:05:51,043
Wait, guys, guys,
guys, guys, look...
1172
01:05:51,113 --> 01:05:53,104
We don't drink piss!
1173
01:05:54,784 --> 01:05:56,752
- [Man] Hey, hey.
- [Chortling]
1174
01:05:56,819 --> 01:05:59,151
Hey, Woody.
Maybe it's time to give these guys
1175
01:05:59,221 --> 01:06:00,950
another one of your famous talks.
1176
01:06:01,023 --> 01:06:04,652
I think we just avoid them, OK?
I've handled this legally. We should go.
1177
01:06:04,727 --> 01:06:07,787
You know what? I'm talking
to these assholes this time, Woody.
1178
01:06:07,863 --> 01:06:09,490
You shouldn't have to do it twice.
1179
01:06:09,565 --> 01:06:12,261
You took care of them
the last time, and I just sat there.
1180
01:06:12,335 --> 01:06:15,532
But this time, you know what?
They wanna see rage? Watch me.
1181
01:06:15,604 --> 01:06:17,469
- Bobby, Bob...
- Whoa!
1182
01:06:18,207 --> 01:06:19,606
[Bobby] Hey, assholes!
1183
01:06:19,675 --> 01:06:22,872
You boys got a hell of a lot of trouble
coming. You know that, right?
1184
01:06:22,945 --> 01:06:24,207
I'm gonna tell you again,
1185
01:06:24,280 --> 01:06:27,807
like my friend told your stupid-ass,
cracker-ass, inbred buddies...
1186
01:06:27,883 --> 01:06:29,350
Did he just say "cracker"?
1187
01:06:29,418 --> 01:06:31,079
- "Cracker-ass."
- Oh, perfect.
1188
01:06:31,153 --> 01:06:34,020
You touch us, and we'll
sue your ass so hard,
1189
01:06:34,090 --> 01:06:36,456
you'll be taking out
a loan just to piss.
1190
01:06:36,525 --> 01:06:40,586
Now, if that ain't clear enough
for you, maybe this is: Splash.
1191
01:06:40,663 --> 01:06:42,654
Huh? Got it?
Did I get it in your mouth?
1192
01:06:42,732 --> 01:06:45,633
Splash! Splash! Splash!
Did I get you on some of that?
1193
01:06:45,701 --> 01:06:47,328
You crossed
a little line there.
1194
01:06:47,403 --> 01:06:50,236
No, no, no, no, no!
It ain't worth it, man.
1195
01:06:50,306 --> 01:06:51,967
Jack'll kill us if we touch him.
1196
01:06:52,041 --> 01:06:53,975
- So just...
- Break some of that up.
1197
01:06:54,043 --> 01:06:55,874
Got a little treat for you.
1198
01:06:55,945 --> 01:06:57,708
Huh? Break a little of that up.
1199
01:06:57,780 --> 01:07:00,340
[All exclaiming]
1200
01:07:00,416 --> 01:07:02,611
Can you hear that?
Can you hear that?
1201
01:07:02,685 --> 01:07:04,846
Uhh! Uhh!
1202
01:07:04,920 --> 01:07:06,649
Uhhh!
1203
01:07:06,722 --> 01:07:09,691
- That's not a discussion.
- No, that's a lawsuit.
1204
01:07:09,759 --> 01:07:11,556
- [Grunting]
- [Groaning]
1205
01:07:11,627 --> 01:07:15,393
- Aw, look at that.
- [Groans] What?!
1206
01:07:17,933 --> 01:07:19,161
That's gonna stain.
1207
01:07:19,235 --> 01:07:22,830
Ha! You boys look like you
belong on a couple of hot dogs.
1208
01:07:22,905 --> 01:07:24,736
[Chuckles] Now,
1209
01:07:24,807 --> 01:07:29,335
If there's any other Del Fuegos
that need that message repeated,
1210
01:07:29,412 --> 01:07:31,437
you tell them
that the Wild Hogs...
1211
01:07:35,084 --> 01:07:36,915
...are right here in Madrid, baby...
1212
01:07:36,986 --> 01:07:38,954
...ready to explain it again.
1213
01:07:39,021 --> 01:07:41,285
- You got that?
- [Panting]
1214
01:07:41,357 --> 01:07:43,052
I said you got that?!
1215
01:07:43,125 --> 01:07:44,786
- [Crunching]
- [All wince]
1216
01:07:44,860 --> 01:07:46,953
Sweet mother of mercy!
1217
01:07:47,029 --> 01:07:48,860
- [Gasping]
- Huh?!
1218
01:07:48,931 --> 01:07:50,398
[Grumbling]
1219
01:07:50,466 --> 01:07:54,698
He don't want it.
He don't want it. I'm hungry.
1220
01:07:54,770 --> 01:07:56,704
[All cheering]
1221
01:07:56,772 --> 01:07:58,000
Let's evacuate! Come on!
1222
01:07:59,275 --> 01:08:02,733
- [Country music plays]
- [People hooting]
1223
01:08:02,812 --> 01:08:05,975
- Beer, here!
- Wild Hogs, I gotta tell you,
1224
01:08:06,048 --> 01:08:08,243
you don't know
how many broken windows
1225
01:08:08,317 --> 01:08:09,841
you guys saved this town.
1226
01:08:09,919 --> 01:08:13,355
Sheriff, it's the least we could do
for our new friends here in Madrid.
1227
01:08:13,422 --> 01:08:15,720
- Right, Bobby?
- [Laughing] Wild Hogs!
1228
01:08:15,791 --> 01:08:18,089
[All] Wild Hogs!
1229
01:08:18,160 --> 01:08:19,923
That's some good work
you did there.
1230
01:08:19,995 --> 01:08:21,223
Hey, thank you, sheriff.
1231
01:08:21,297 --> 01:08:24,664
Now look, you know, if you need
something done, just come to me.
1232
01:08:24,733 --> 01:08:27,293
You know what I mean?
'Cause I will beat shit down.
1233
01:08:27,369 --> 01:08:29,394
Let's say them peanuts
are bothering you.
1234
01:08:29,472 --> 01:08:31,804
Huh? I don't wanna hear it!
I don't wanna hear it!
1235
01:08:31,874 --> 01:08:34,843
What'd the sheriff tell you?
What'd the town people tell you?
1236
01:08:34,910 --> 01:08:37,378
What the...?
You know what I mean?
1237
01:08:37,446 --> 01:08:40,847
I ain't got no problem with it.
I ain't got no problem with it.
1238
01:08:40,916 --> 01:08:44,113
Yeah. Yeah.
That's all right.
1239
01:08:44,186 --> 01:08:47,485
This is great. Right, Woody?
1240
01:08:47,556 --> 01:08:50,548
- Huh?
- You all right?
1241
01:08:53,362 --> 01:08:54,351
Yeah...
1242
01:08:55,831 --> 01:08:57,298
- I'm gonna call Kelly.
- Yeah.
1243
01:08:57,366 --> 01:08:59,630
Remind her just what
kind of a stud she married.
1244
01:08:59,702 --> 01:09:02,569
All right,
yeah, you do that.
1245
01:09:03,906 --> 01:09:05,840
[Cries]
1246
01:09:05,908 --> 01:09:07,375
Hey, hey, Bobby!
1247
01:09:07,443 --> 01:09:09,604
Next time, I handle
those bozos, eh?
1248
01:09:09,678 --> 01:09:12,442
The wrath of Dudley!
Wild Hogs!
1249
01:09:12,515 --> 01:09:14,642
[All] Wild Hogs!
1250
01:09:14,717 --> 01:09:17,151
Tequila, on the Wild Hogs.
1251
01:09:20,656 --> 01:09:23,022
In New Mexico.
We actually slapped a bull.
1252
01:09:23,092 --> 01:09:24,957
Slapped it right on the ass.
1253
01:09:25,027 --> 01:09:27,154
You have no idea
how turned on I am right now,
1254
01:09:27,229 --> 01:09:29,697
- but please be careful.
- We're like celebrities.
1255
01:09:29,765 --> 01:09:32,029
- Well, Bobby is.
- Man, I crush them cashews.
1256
01:09:32,101 --> 01:09:34,126
- Macadamia nuts?
- Oh, macadamia nut?
1257
01:09:34,203 --> 01:09:35,431
I'd kick it out the park.
1258
01:09:35,504 --> 01:09:38,166
Hey! And guess who
dropped by to say hello.
1259
01:09:38,240 --> 01:09:40,731
Karen. Yeah, I think
she's feeling a little lonely.
1260
01:09:40,809 --> 01:09:42,401
- Who's that?
- It's Doug.
1261
01:09:42,478 --> 01:09:44,639
Says they're having
a great time on the trip.
1262
01:09:44,713 --> 01:09:46,476
Kelly, don't tell her
about the...
1263
01:09:46,549 --> 01:09:48,039
Road trip?!
1264
01:09:50,686 --> 01:09:52,950
Hey! Dudley,
don't you wanna come inside?
1265
01:09:53,022 --> 01:09:55,183
I'm fine. I'm just gonna, um,
1266
01:09:55,257 --> 01:09:57,953
sit out here
for a little while, I think.
1267
01:09:58,027 --> 01:10:00,052
OK. You OK?
1268
01:10:00,863 --> 01:10:03,593
I'm fine. I'm... uh...
1269
01:10:07,169 --> 01:10:08,659
No, the truth is I'm not OK.
1270
01:10:08,737 --> 01:10:11,001
The truth is I like you a lot, Maggie.
1271
01:10:13,676 --> 01:10:16,236
I'm liking you a lot too.
1272
01:10:16,312 --> 01:10:19,406
See, that's what I was afraid of.
1273
01:10:20,449 --> 01:10:22,974
That you would like me
without knowing...
1274
01:10:23,052 --> 01:10:25,282
Without me telling you...
1275
01:10:28,624 --> 01:10:30,717
I'm not a cool biker, Maggie.
1276
01:10:31,560 --> 01:10:33,960
I'm not a cool anything.
1277
01:10:34,029 --> 01:10:35,758
I'm a computer programmer.
1278
01:10:35,831 --> 01:10:37,992
I'm just a geek.
1279
01:10:38,901 --> 01:10:42,564
I'm sorry if you thought
I was somebody that I'm not.
1280
01:10:49,712 --> 01:10:52,909
Mm-mm. You're not a geek.
1281
01:10:56,685 --> 01:10:59,017
- You're a lot of fun.
- Hmm.
1282
01:11:01,924 --> 01:11:04,654
And you're really honest.
1283
01:11:07,796 --> 01:11:09,991
And you're really sweet.
1284
01:11:13,769 --> 01:11:16,499
You're the kind of guy
that's hard to find.
1285
01:11:24,413 --> 01:11:26,711
- Sorry.
- [Laughs]
1286
01:11:26,782 --> 01:11:28,909
Try again. One more time.
1287
01:11:29,952 --> 01:11:31,681
[Chuckles]
1288
01:11:34,056 --> 01:11:36,388
[Woody] All right, Bobby!
All gassed up!
1289
01:11:37,893 --> 01:11:41,659
- Whoo! All gassed up, baby!
- All right. Let's get Dudley. Let's go!
1290
01:11:41,730 --> 01:11:43,357
- Clive, what's up?
- Hey! My man!
1291
01:11:43,432 --> 01:11:45,627
What you know? No good?
All right. OK.
1292
01:11:45,701 --> 01:11:48,727
We're going to high altitudes.
We should check tire pressure.
1293
01:11:48,804 --> 01:11:50,465
Whoa, no, no, little buddy.
1294
01:11:50,539 --> 01:11:52,473
We gotta ride.
We gotta get going, OK?
1295
01:11:52,541 --> 01:11:54,941
We got new experiences
and new locations, right?
1296
01:11:55,010 --> 01:11:57,945
We can't leave, man.
I'm like the mayor of this town.
1297
01:11:58,013 --> 01:12:00,641
- My people need me.
- I said we're leaving!
1298
01:12:01,750 --> 01:12:02,978
Hey, guys.
1299
01:12:03,052 --> 01:12:05,077
We decided we wanna
have breakfast here.
1300
01:12:05,154 --> 01:12:07,349
Come on! Hey, cowboy!
Let's saddle up, OK?
1301
01:12:07,423 --> 01:12:09,653
You're burning daylight. Let's go!
1302
01:12:09,725 --> 01:12:11,716
Got a problem with
hanging a few minutes?
1303
01:12:11,794 --> 01:12:13,489
Do I look like
I have a problem? Do I?
1304
01:12:13,562 --> 01:12:14,927
- Yeah.
- Yes.
1305
01:12:14,997 --> 01:12:17,397
There you go again.
Saying the weirdest shit.
1306
01:12:17,466 --> 01:12:20,560
- [Engines revving]
- [Indistinct shouting]
1307
01:12:28,677 --> 01:12:30,907
Del Fuegos!
Hide the bikes! Quick!
1308
01:12:30,979 --> 01:12:33,209
- [Dudley] Why, why?
- Just do it! Trust me!
1309
01:12:33,282 --> 01:12:37,048
What's wrong?
Why are we hiding?
1310
01:12:37,119 --> 01:12:39,781
- What's going on?
- [Dudley] I don't know.
1311
01:12:50,632 --> 01:12:52,827
- Oh, God!
- Hey! Why are we hiding?
1312
01:12:52,901 --> 01:12:55,028
You took care of this
already, didn't you?
1313
01:12:55,104 --> 01:12:56,696
No, not like you think, OK?
1314
01:12:56,772 --> 01:12:59,240
Well, what is it that I think?
1315
01:12:59,308 --> 01:13:01,469
I didn't really talk to them, OK?
1316
01:13:01,543 --> 01:13:04,011
- You serious?
- [Doug] I knew something was wrong.
1317
01:13:04,079 --> 01:13:06,070
Dudley, you're like,
"I'm all stupid...
1318
01:13:06,148 --> 01:13:07,172
Not Dudley's fault!
1319
01:13:07,249 --> 01:13:09,740
...take my bike, give me
a piece of junk, I'm happy."
1320
01:13:09,818 --> 01:13:11,809
You're all,
"I'm scared. Let's get out."
1321
01:13:11,887 --> 01:13:13,286
- Whatever.
- It's our fault?
1322
01:13:13,355 --> 01:13:15,346
The Del Fuegos are all,
"You're nothing.
1323
01:13:15,424 --> 01:13:17,517
- We're real bikers."
- This isn't about us!
1324
01:13:17,593 --> 01:13:19,584
- What did you do?
- What did you do, Woody?
1325
01:13:20,629 --> 01:13:23,223
I... [murmuring]
1326
01:13:24,099 --> 01:13:26,932
I cut the gas lines
of their bikes.
1327
01:13:27,669 --> 01:13:28,966
And then I...
1328
01:13:29,037 --> 01:13:32,063
- What?
- Maybe blew up their bar.
1329
01:13:32,141 --> 01:13:33,904
- Oh!
- Ah, perfect!
1330
01:13:33,976 --> 01:13:36,877
- [Dudley] Oh, we're dead!
- Oh, come on!
1331
01:13:36,945 --> 01:13:39,243
Wait a minute!
Wait a minute!
1332
01:13:39,314 --> 01:13:41,748
That means they're
just here to kill us.
1333
01:13:47,456 --> 01:13:49,686
No sign of 'em, Jack.
1334
01:13:49,758 --> 01:13:51,953
[Growling]
1335
01:13:53,262 --> 01:13:55,287
Wild Hogs!
1336
01:13:55,364 --> 01:13:58,424
Come out, come out,
wherever you are!
1337
01:13:58,500 --> 01:14:00,968
I finally meet a girl,
and now I'm gonna die.
1338
01:14:01,036 --> 01:14:03,231
So all the mustard
and the ketchup...
1339
01:14:03,305 --> 01:14:05,239
...didn't help the situation, huh?
1340
01:14:05,307 --> 01:14:07,104
Ohhh!
1341
01:14:07,176 --> 01:14:10,839
[Jack] Oh, you don't
wanna come out? We'll wait!
1342
01:14:11,914 --> 01:14:14,246
There's only one road
out of this town!
1343
01:14:14,316 --> 01:14:16,250
We own it!
1344
01:14:16,318 --> 01:14:20,084
Me and my boys will be
in this lovely little diner here!
1345
01:14:20,155 --> 01:14:24,819
Get out of here!
The longer you keep us waiting,
1346
01:14:24,893 --> 01:14:29,262
the worse it's gonna get for
the peaceful town of Madrid!
1347
01:14:33,202 --> 01:14:37,002
Jack! I'm going
to ask you not to.
1348
01:14:37,072 --> 01:14:38,903
What did you say,
you little turd?
1349
01:14:38,974 --> 01:14:40,965
- What did he say?
- He called him a turd.
1350
01:14:43,045 --> 01:14:44,979
- [Bikers laugh]
- Let's go!
1351
01:14:45,047 --> 01:14:47,277
Enjoy.
1352
01:14:47,349 --> 01:14:48,873
OK, I made a mistake.
1353
01:14:48,951 --> 01:14:51,977
Woody, we could have just
went home, man, and been fine.
1354
01:14:52,054 --> 01:14:54,579
Yeah, well, you know,
maybe I don't have a home.
1355
01:14:54,656 --> 01:14:56,590
[Sighs] Claudia left me.
1356
01:14:56,658 --> 01:14:58,853
[Sighing] Three months ago she left.
1357
01:14:58,927 --> 01:15:01,452
And then I fell apart.
Lost my clients.
1358
01:15:01,530 --> 01:15:03,464
And then I lost my job.
1359
01:15:03,532 --> 01:15:06,194
Now I got to sell the house
and I got to sell the car.
1360
01:15:06,268 --> 01:15:08,600
Can't even get
the lawn raked, you know.
1361
01:15:08,670 --> 01:15:11,264
I just got the bike and I got
you guys. That's all I got.
1362
01:15:11,340 --> 01:15:14,036
So this trip is
all about you running away
1363
01:15:14,109 --> 01:15:17,135
from your miserable, screwed-up life?
1364
01:15:17,212 --> 01:15:19,874
[Stuttering]
And you screw up our lives?
1365
01:15:19,948 --> 01:15:21,279
Asshole!
1366
01:15:21,350 --> 01:15:25,582
I'm sorry about your situation,
Woody, but you're a lying asshole.
1367
01:15:25,654 --> 01:15:28,680
- Which is like an asshole's asshole.
- I thought that...
1368
01:15:28,757 --> 01:15:32,420
I thought that being a Wild Hog
meant something. But clearly it doesn't.
1369
01:15:32,494 --> 01:15:35,019
You don't care about me!
That's fine. I don't care.
1370
01:15:35,097 --> 01:15:37,156
It doesn't mean anything, Woody!
1371
01:15:37,232 --> 01:15:39,291
Remember, it's just
a patch my wife made!
1372
01:15:39,368 --> 01:15:41,461
We should go somewhere
to yell at each other
1373
01:15:41,537 --> 01:15:43,698
where there aren't people
trying to kill us.
1374
01:15:49,111 --> 01:15:50,601
Hey, Maggie.
1375
01:15:52,514 --> 01:15:54,573
Thanks for letting us
hide in your house.
1376
01:15:54,650 --> 01:15:55,776
Yeah, thanks.
1377
01:15:55,851 --> 01:15:59,116
It's hard not to when you're
screaming and kicking down the door.
1378
01:15:59,187 --> 01:16:00,677
Hey.
1379
01:16:00,756 --> 01:16:02,223
You OK?
1380
01:16:02,291 --> 01:16:05,021
Mm. Yeah.
Diner's the only thing I have.
1381
01:16:05,093 --> 01:16:07,618
If that gets destroyed, it's...
1382
01:16:07,696 --> 01:16:11,689
[sighs] But you're safe.
You guys are safe.
1383
01:16:11,767 --> 01:16:13,394
Now just stay put.
1384
01:16:13,468 --> 01:16:15,732
Nobody has to go out
there and be a hero.
1385
01:16:15,804 --> 01:16:17,396
You got that right.
1386
01:16:17,472 --> 01:16:21,033
- You guys aren't going out there?
- You're the sheriff. Why don't you go?
1387
01:16:21,109 --> 01:16:24,510
[Sheriff] Like, sheriff
of a town of 500 people.
1388
01:16:24,580 --> 01:16:27,572
I got my qualification
from a course on the Internet.
1389
01:16:27,649 --> 01:16:30,243
For arms training,
they just told us to play Doom.
1390
01:16:30,319 --> 01:16:32,253
I say we just wait it out,
1391
01:16:32,321 --> 01:16:34,414
they'll lose interest,
and they'll go.
1392
01:16:34,489 --> 01:16:36,650
Yeah, I agree.
Wait it out.
1393
01:16:37,993 --> 01:16:41,129
Hey. Where's Dudley?
1394
01:16:46,134 --> 01:16:48,364
[# Electric Light Orchestra:
Showdown]
1395
01:16:48,437 --> 01:16:50,405
Oh, Dudley. Don't do that.
1396
01:16:55,243 --> 01:16:56,938
All right, you Del Fuegos...
1397
01:16:57,012 --> 01:16:59,173
[indistinct chattering]
1398
01:17:03,885 --> 01:17:04,874
Hey!
1399
01:17:08,423 --> 01:17:09,822
Let's end this.
1400
01:17:09,891 --> 01:17:12,883
At least one of you
came out to face the music.
1401
01:17:12,961 --> 01:17:14,792
Very brave.
1402
01:17:14,863 --> 01:17:16,125
But stupid.
1403
01:17:16,198 --> 01:17:18,530
I didn't come to face any music.
1404
01:17:18,600 --> 01:17:21,728
I came here to stop you fellas
from hurting this diner,
1405
01:17:21,803 --> 01:17:24,931
which the love of my life
just happens to own.
1406
01:17:25,974 --> 01:17:30,502
So, if it's gotta get ugly...
I'll give you ugly.
1407
01:17:30,579 --> 01:17:34,845
- [Glass shattering]
- [All laugh]
1408
01:17:38,153 --> 01:17:40,212
It slipped out of my glove.
1409
01:17:40,288 --> 01:17:43,382
Hey! Is it OK if I
tell people you guys did that?
1410
01:17:43,458 --> 01:17:45,221
I should be getting back.
It's late.
1411
01:17:45,293 --> 01:17:48,228
The guys are gonna be worrying.
We'll talk later.
1412
01:17:49,398 --> 01:17:51,298
Guys! Guys!
1413
01:17:51,366 --> 01:17:53,766
No, no. You don't get to
hide out here with us.
1414
01:17:53,835 --> 01:17:57,327
You get to hide outside with those
crazy people that wanna kill us.
1415
01:17:57,406 --> 01:18:00,239
- They got Dudley. Look out the window.
- What?
1416
01:18:00,308 --> 01:18:03,436
[Jack] All right, this is
what's gonna happen, Wild Hogs!
1417
01:18:03,512 --> 01:18:07,915
You're gonna pay
a disobedience fee of $10,000!
1418
01:18:07,983 --> 01:18:11,441
Plus another $40,000
to rebuild the bar!
1419
01:18:11,520 --> 01:18:14,114
And if you wanna
see your friend alive again,
1420
01:18:14,189 --> 01:18:16,180
do not call the cops!
1421
01:18:16,258 --> 01:18:18,954
If you're not here
in a half an hour to settle this,
1422
01:18:19,027 --> 01:18:22,121
I'm gonna take the fine out
on your friend's legs!
1423
01:18:22,197 --> 01:18:24,825
I'm gonna break 'em
with this tire iron!
1424
01:18:24,900 --> 01:18:27,027
- [Bikers yelling]
- Don't bring the money!
1425
01:18:27,102 --> 01:18:30,560
I'm a computer programmer!
I don't need my legs!
1426
01:18:30,639 --> 01:18:33,904
Fine! I'll break his hands!
1427
01:18:33,975 --> 01:18:35,499
- [Bikers] Yeah!
- Oh, damn it.
1428
01:18:35,577 --> 01:18:37,010
Bring the money!
1429
01:18:37,079 --> 01:18:39,741
Definitely!
Definitely bring money!
1430
01:18:39,815 --> 01:18:43,080
- Get him out of here!
- Now! We need money!
1431
01:18:44,152 --> 01:18:45,483
[Sniffing]
1432
01:18:45,554 --> 01:18:48,751
Dudley went to save the diner,
now they're gonna break his hands.
1433
01:18:48,824 --> 01:18:51,759
No, they're not. We're gonna...
We're gonna get him back.
1434
01:18:51,827 --> 01:18:54,819
I've called the highway patrol.
Gonna be here in two hours.
1435
01:18:54,896 --> 01:18:58,923
Hey, man. They said no cops, or else
they gonna take it out on Dudley.
1436
01:18:59,000 --> 01:19:01,992
We don't wanna piss 'em off
until we get him out of their hands.
1437
01:19:02,070 --> 01:19:04,504
You know, he's not exactly
in their hands now, OK?
1438
01:19:04,573 --> 01:19:06,234
Why not?
He was sitting right...
1439
01:19:06,308 --> 01:19:09,641
- What the...?
- Get me down!
1440
01:19:09,911 --> 01:19:13,005
- [All laughing]
- Why? You look good up there!
1441
01:19:13,081 --> 01:19:15,345
You look like
a pi�ata with red hair!
1442
01:19:15,417 --> 01:19:16,406
[All laughing]
1443
01:19:16,485 --> 01:19:20,012
I think... I think I'm gonna keep you
up there till your buddies come!
1444
01:19:20,088 --> 01:19:22,579
And then if they don't,
I'm gonna bust you open
1445
01:19:22,657 --> 01:19:25,558
and we're gonna see
what falls out! Ha!
1446
01:19:26,695 --> 01:19:29,095
[Dudley]
Bobby! Woody! Doug!
1447
01:19:29,164 --> 01:19:31,155
- What are we gonna do?
- I don't know.
1448
01:19:31,233 --> 01:19:33,793
Well, I know what I'm gonna do.
I'm gonna go get him.
1449
01:19:33,869 --> 01:19:36,269
[Scoffs] There you go
talking crazy again.
1450
01:19:36,338 --> 01:19:39,034
- They will kill you.
- No, I'm not talking crazy.
1451
01:19:39,107 --> 01:19:42,304
I have three people left
in my life that I care about,
1452
01:19:42,377 --> 01:19:44,504
and I let you guys down.
1453
01:19:44,579 --> 01:19:46,979
Nah. I'd rather go out there
and make it go right
1454
01:19:47,048 --> 01:19:50,506
and die doing it than be the asshole
that screwed everything up.
1455
01:19:50,585 --> 01:19:52,815
Hey, hey, Woody.
Woody, where you going?
1456
01:19:59,795 --> 01:20:01,023
Woody!
1457
01:20:02,964 --> 01:20:05,091
Don't you know hogs
run in packs, baby?
1458
01:20:08,436 --> 01:20:10,131
We're still Wild Hogs?
1459
01:20:10,205 --> 01:20:13,003
- Wild Hogs, man.
- Wild Hogs.
1460
01:20:13,074 --> 01:20:16,407
All right, here's how it's gotta go.
I gotta get up to 30 miles an hour.
1461
01:20:16,478 --> 01:20:20,073
It's only duct tape holding that rope.
I'll get him by the trunk and grab him
1462
01:20:20,148 --> 01:20:23,140
- and I'll save Dudley.
- You'll need a distraction.
1463
01:20:23,218 --> 01:20:26,847
Together, guys. Together we can do this.
And I'm ready. I'm ready.
1464
01:20:26,922 --> 01:20:28,321
I'm ready.
1465
01:20:28,390 --> 01:20:30,654
- What?
- What's wrong?
1466
01:20:30,725 --> 01:20:32,852
- It's gonna sound kind of stupid.
- What?
1467
01:20:32,928 --> 01:20:35,556
Well, before I go,
I need one of you to yell,
1468
01:20:35,630 --> 01:20:38,463
"It's the Golden Knight!"
It helps me get in the mood.
1469
01:20:38,533 --> 01:20:40,296
Yeah, baby!
1470
01:20:40,368 --> 01:20:42,359
- It helps motivate me.
- He's back!
1471
01:20:43,805 --> 01:20:46,365
[Laughing]
It's the Golden Knight.
1472
01:20:46,441 --> 01:20:48,432
With gusto, though.
1473
01:20:48,510 --> 01:20:50,501
[Engines revving]
1474
01:20:56,418 --> 01:20:58,716
- Now?
- Now!
1475
01:20:58,787 --> 01:21:01,255
Holy crap,
it's the Golden Knight!
1476
01:21:01,323 --> 01:21:04,417
[# White Zombie:
Thunder Kiss '65]
1477
01:21:10,365 --> 01:21:12,993
Clear 'em out, boys!
Clear 'em out!
1478
01:21:13,068 --> 01:21:16,037
Del Fuego!
Come out and play, baby!
1479
01:21:16,104 --> 01:21:18,732
All day, baby! All day!
1480
01:21:18,807 --> 01:21:21,071
Thirty-five, 35, exactly 35!
1481
01:21:21,142 --> 01:21:23,474
[Indistinct shouting]
1482
01:21:23,545 --> 01:21:26,378
Wild Hogs, baby! Wild Hogs!
1483
01:21:26,448 --> 01:21:28,143
[Muffled groaning, grunting]
1484
01:21:28,216 --> 01:21:30,241
OK, guys, slow down...
You're gonna...
1485
01:21:31,820 --> 01:21:33,583
Oh, no, no, no...
Ooh... Whoa!
1486
01:21:33,655 --> 01:21:37,022
- [All laughing]
- [Doug] Du-Dud-Dudley!
1487
01:21:37,092 --> 01:21:40,459
- Oh-ho-ho-ho-ho-ho...
- All right, I gotcha. I gotcha.
1488
01:21:41,496 --> 01:21:44,863
- You having fun?
- That was amazing!
1489
01:21:44,933 --> 01:21:47,128
The tape was supposed to break!
1490
01:21:47,202 --> 01:21:48,191
Oh...
1491
01:21:48,270 --> 01:21:50,295
- [grunting]
- [Bikers laugh]
1492
01:21:50,372 --> 01:21:52,272
- Oh...
- There it goes.
1493
01:21:52,340 --> 01:21:53,808
- Is there a problem?
- Come on. Come on!
1494
01:21:53,808 --> 01:21:55,173
- Is there a problem?
- Come on. Come on!
1495
01:21:55,243 --> 01:21:57,404
You burned down Damien's bar,
1496
01:21:57,479 --> 01:21:59,743
you pull this little
circus act out here,
1497
01:21:59,814 --> 01:22:03,079
now you're gonna see what
it's like when you mess with us.
1498
01:22:03,151 --> 01:22:05,278
- That's right.
- Burn down the diner!
1499
01:22:05,353 --> 01:22:07,218
- Torch it!
- Whoa, whoa, look, look...
1500
01:22:07,289 --> 01:22:08,916
We can come up
with the money,
1501
01:22:08,990 --> 01:22:10,514
I got a little bit
in my savings.
1502
01:22:10,592 --> 01:22:13,493
It was my fault. I did it.
I cut the fuel lines.
1503
01:22:13,561 --> 01:22:15,859
Let me deal with it.
Let these guys go.
1504
01:22:15,931 --> 01:22:19,264
No! We're not gonna pay any money
and we're not calling the cops.
1505
01:22:20,802 --> 01:22:22,702
We're gonna stand here and fight.
1506
01:22:25,674 --> 01:22:27,141
You don't want our money.
1507
01:22:27,208 --> 01:22:29,142
What do you need money for?
You're free.
1508
01:22:29,210 --> 01:22:32,873
You're just here to get what you get
from the townspeople all the time, fear.
1509
01:22:32,948 --> 01:22:36,076
'Cause you're scary people.
People'll do anything to stay safe,
1510
01:22:36,151 --> 01:22:39,177
including give up the biggest
part of their lives, adventure.
1511
01:22:39,254 --> 01:22:42,712
Let's have a little adventure, huh?
Let's fight. Let's dance, huh?
1512
01:22:42,791 --> 01:22:44,884
- Let's do it!
- Enough's enough.
1513
01:22:44,960 --> 01:22:48,020
- Let's kick some Del Taco ass.
- Wait, wait, wait.
1514
01:22:48,096 --> 01:22:50,360
Do either of you guys
have a knife or scissors?
1515
01:22:50,432 --> 01:22:51,592
A nail clipper?
1516
01:22:51,666 --> 01:22:53,600
All right,
so how do we do this?
1517
01:22:53,668 --> 01:22:55,659
Like high school?
A little circle, huh?
1518
01:22:55,737 --> 01:22:57,227
- Oh!
- [Bikers] Yeah!
1519
01:22:57,305 --> 01:22:59,899
Murdock, Red, Tiny.
Four on four.
1520
01:23:01,509 --> 01:23:03,909
- Body or face, pretty boy?
- Not the face.
1521
01:23:04,379 --> 01:23:07,007
[Grunts] Ow!
1522
01:23:08,216 --> 01:23:10,207
[Grunting]
1523
01:23:18,193 --> 01:23:20,661
- I'll take him.
- Thank you!
1524
01:23:21,863 --> 01:23:23,990
Yah! [shouts]
1525
01:23:24,065 --> 01:23:28,559
[Yelling]
1526
01:23:31,806 --> 01:23:34,138
- Trade back! Trade back.
- I got him, I got him.
1527
01:23:34,209 --> 01:23:36,677
It's not really fair,
you know. I'm kinda tied up.
1528
01:23:39,614 --> 01:23:42,777
You ever see a hook off the jab?
Huh? Bring it!
1529
01:23:42,851 --> 01:23:44,819
[Yells]
1530
01:23:46,388 --> 01:23:48,379
[Both grunting]
1531
01:23:49,958 --> 01:23:52,290
- Oh!
- Let's have a little fun, baby.
1532
01:23:52,360 --> 01:23:53,384
Whew. Let's play.
1533
01:23:54,362 --> 01:23:55,829
Golden Glove, baby.
1534
01:23:57,232 --> 01:23:59,223
[Shouting]
1535
01:24:00,568 --> 01:24:02,627
Ow! Ow! You hit my helmet.
1536
01:24:02,704 --> 01:24:04,535
Are you OK, man?
You hurt your hand?
1537
01:24:04,606 --> 01:24:06,073
That actually really hurt.
1538
01:24:06,141 --> 01:24:08,006
Whoa!
1539
01:24:08,443 --> 01:24:09,603
[Groans]
1540
01:24:11,613 --> 01:24:13,740
Good shot! Get off!
1541
01:24:13,815 --> 01:24:15,077
Oh!
1542
01:24:15,150 --> 01:24:17,516
Uh-oh, no, no, no, no, don't...
1543
01:24:18,620 --> 01:24:19,780
- Throw sand!
- What?
1544
01:24:19,854 --> 01:24:21,685
- Throw sand!
- Yeah...
1545
01:24:23,124 --> 01:24:24,853
I didn't mean to aim there...
1546
01:24:26,628 --> 01:24:28,562
Ha! Whoo! Nice...
1547
01:24:29,564 --> 01:24:30,656
[laughs]
1548
01:24:30,732 --> 01:24:31,858
[Groans]
1549
01:24:35,370 --> 01:24:38,203
Damn!
I done knocked out my boy!
1550
01:24:38,273 --> 01:24:42,004
- Come on. You all right?
- Ooh...
1551
01:24:45,346 --> 01:24:47,678
- [groaning]
- [Cackling]
1552
01:24:49,284 --> 01:24:50,979
Well, that was easy.
1553
01:24:53,721 --> 01:24:55,814
- Come on.
- Burn down the diner!
1554
01:24:55,890 --> 01:24:59,382
- [Bikers] Yeah!
- Come on!
1555
01:24:59,461 --> 01:25:02,521
- Oh, good. You want some more?
- Yeah, I got nothing to lose.
1556
01:25:02,597 --> 01:25:05,725
I got no wife.
No job. No house.
1557
01:25:05,800 --> 01:25:09,201
I got my friends, though.
I got them till the end.
1558
01:25:09,971 --> 01:25:12,166
- Oh!
- That's great!
1559
01:25:12,240 --> 01:25:15,209
[Doug] You know, you know
what's so stupid about this?
1560
01:25:15,276 --> 01:25:19,736
We wanted to be like you guys. What I
see here is just a bunch of grown men
1561
01:25:19,814 --> 01:25:24,080
whose biggest decision in life is,
"Uh, sleeveless or, uh... sleeveless?
1562
01:25:24,152 --> 01:25:26,882
Do I shit behind the rock,
or over there by that bush?"
1563
01:25:27,489 --> 01:25:29,616
Grown men.
This is pathetic.
1564
01:25:29,691 --> 01:25:31,283
You go ahead
and kick our ass, OK?
1565
01:25:31,359 --> 01:25:33,987
Because we're not the posers.
You guys are the posers.
1566
01:25:34,629 --> 01:25:36,961
- Ow!
- [All laughing]
1567
01:25:37,031 --> 01:25:40,967
Hey! Do yourselves a favor
and stay down!
1568
01:25:41,035 --> 01:25:43,799
Twenty-five years
of being yelled at.
1569
01:25:43,872 --> 01:25:45,430
Man, I ain't taking this...
1570
01:25:48,676 --> 01:25:52,112
And I got a girlfriend.
Punch that out of me, bitches.
1571
01:25:53,314 --> 01:25:54,872
Hmm? [chuckles]
1572
01:26:00,355 --> 01:26:02,118
- Oh.
- Are we doing this?
1573
01:26:06,227 --> 01:26:07,990
- Let's do it.
- Yeah.
1574
01:26:08,062 --> 01:26:10,121
Come on.
1575
01:26:14,769 --> 01:26:17,829
- Come on.
- Come on.
1576
01:26:25,647 --> 01:26:27,012
You're kidding me, right?
1577
01:26:31,486 --> 01:26:33,010
What's wrong with you guys?
1578
01:26:34,923 --> 01:26:37,187
[Jack] All right!
You wanna keep going?
1579
01:26:37,258 --> 01:26:39,783
- [Car door slams]
- I don't think so.
1580
01:26:39,861 --> 01:26:44,730
You're done, Jack.
You Del Fuegos! You are done!
1581
01:26:44,799 --> 01:26:47,063
And we want you
out of our town, now.
1582
01:26:47,135 --> 01:26:49,797
- And who's "we"?
- All of us.
1583
01:26:49,871 --> 01:26:53,534
[Cackling]
1584
01:26:53,608 --> 01:26:56,577
If four people could
stand up to a gang of bikers,
1585
01:26:56,644 --> 01:26:58,509
I guess we can too!
1586
01:26:58,580 --> 01:27:01,344
Well, we'll fight you and
the Children of the Corn too.
1587
01:27:01,416 --> 01:27:05,910
'Cause the Del Fuegos don't
back down! This is our highway.
1588
01:27:05,987 --> 01:27:08,581
And we're gonna
defend our highway.
1589
01:27:08,656 --> 01:27:10,453
[Man] Wrong, Jack.
1590
01:27:12,160 --> 01:27:14,651
It's my highway.
1591
01:27:14,729 --> 01:27:16,026
Blade.
1592
01:27:17,031 --> 01:27:18,965
Hi, Maggie.
1593
01:27:20,768 --> 01:27:24,898
- Hmm. Bar burned down.
- Yeah.
1594
01:27:24,973 --> 01:27:27,840
These posers, these
four posers right here.
1595
01:27:27,909 --> 01:27:31,845
Four guys
stand off 50 bikers...
1596
01:27:33,248 --> 01:27:35,409
...and they're the posers?
- Yeah.
1597
01:27:35,483 --> 01:27:37,417
They burnt down
the bar that you built.
1598
01:27:37,485 --> 01:27:38,782
It was a shithole.
1599
01:27:38,853 --> 01:27:41,321
I insured it for
twice what it was worth.
1600
01:27:41,389 --> 01:27:42,879
The guys did me a favor.
1601
01:27:42,957 --> 01:27:45,721
We were just following
the code that you wrote.
1602
01:27:45,793 --> 01:27:48,091
Why do you think
I don't wear the colors, Jack?
1603
01:27:48,162 --> 01:27:49,789
Why do you think I ride alone?
1604
01:27:49,864 --> 01:27:51,923
'Cause you don't
know about it anymore.
1605
01:27:52,000 --> 01:27:55,731
I think you all oughta get back on your
bikes and go out and ride the highway
1606
01:27:55,803 --> 01:27:58,067
until you remember
what riding's all about.
1607
01:27:59,240 --> 01:28:00,969
Let it go, Jack.
1608
01:28:13,788 --> 01:28:15,278
OK, Pop.
1609
01:28:17,125 --> 01:28:19,252
Takes after his mom.
1610
01:28:19,327 --> 01:28:21,761
[All cheering]
1611
01:28:28,002 --> 01:28:29,560
[Exhaling heavily]
1612
01:28:29,637 --> 01:28:32,003
Man, that was like
level 12 of Doom.
1613
01:28:33,808 --> 01:28:35,469
The posers.
1614
01:28:35,543 --> 01:28:37,875
- What do you guys call yourselves?
- I'm Woody.
1615
01:28:37,945 --> 01:28:39,071
- I'm Bobby.
- I'm Doug.
1616
01:28:39,147 --> 01:28:41,081
No, no, no. You all riding together?
1617
01:28:41,149 --> 01:28:43,447
- What do you...
- [all] Hogs! Wild Hogs.
1618
01:28:43,518 --> 01:28:45,543
Wild...
Yeah, Wild Hogs.
1619
01:28:46,788 --> 01:28:50,690
Well, Wild Hogs,
ride hard or stay home.
1620
01:28:50,758 --> 01:28:54,524
- Yeah.
- Oh, and, guys, lose the watches.
1621
01:28:57,699 --> 01:28:59,360
- Freedom, baby.
- We did it, babe.
1622
01:28:59,434 --> 01:29:02,528
All day. All day.
1623
01:29:02,603 --> 01:29:06,095
Hey! Hey! We're Wild Hogs!
The saga continues!
1624
01:29:19,354 --> 01:29:21,481
[Tires squealing]
1625
01:29:21,556 --> 01:29:22,818
What the hell?
1626
01:29:22,890 --> 01:29:25,916
What in the world
is going on around here?
1627
01:29:27,095 --> 01:29:29,290
Plumbing conference?
1628
01:29:29,364 --> 01:29:30,763
Have you lost your mind?
1629
01:29:30,832 --> 01:29:32,231
Shut up, Doug!
1630
01:29:32,300 --> 01:29:35,030
Bobby, who are these people,
and where are we at?
1631
01:29:35,103 --> 01:29:39,233
Well, obviously, I'm not at a...
plumbing conference in Cleveland, baby.
1632
01:29:39,307 --> 01:29:40,331
Oh, really?
1633
01:29:40,408 --> 01:29:42,433
Baby, I've been
fighting bikers all day,
1634
01:29:42,510 --> 01:29:44,671
this little Chinese
dude bust my nose,
1635
01:29:44,746 --> 01:29:46,543
I've been slapping bulls...
1636
01:29:46,614 --> 01:29:50,072
Bobby, I don't give a damn
about you fighting no bulls!
1637
01:29:50,151 --> 01:29:52,551
Now, I want you to get
your ass in that van
1638
01:29:52,620 --> 01:29:53,985
because we are going home.
1639
01:29:54,055 --> 01:29:56,216
I cannot believe you'd
deceive me like this!
1640
01:29:56,290 --> 01:29:57,917
- Karen...
- No, Bobby, I want...!
1641
01:29:57,992 --> 01:29:59,391
Karen!
1642
01:30:00,261 --> 01:30:02,058
Slow your roll.
1643
01:30:02,130 --> 01:30:05,224
Look, baby, I love you, OK?
1644
01:30:05,299 --> 01:30:07,358
But I'm tired of being talked at.
1645
01:30:07,435 --> 01:30:09,835
I don't talk at you, Bobby!
1646
01:30:09,904 --> 01:30:12,099
- I talk...
- Look at what you're doing now.
1647
01:30:12,173 --> 01:30:14,334
- [Sighs]
- Come on. You feel me?
1648
01:30:14,409 --> 01:30:16,900
OK, baby, all right,
all right, I feel you.
1649
01:30:16,978 --> 01:30:19,173
Right now I just need
you to show me some love.
1650
01:30:19,247 --> 01:30:21,181
Just a little bit of love.
1651
01:30:21,883 --> 01:30:25,375
Oh... Mmm...
1652
01:30:25,453 --> 01:30:29,082
[smacking]
That's scrumptious.
1653
01:30:29,157 --> 01:30:31,148
You seriously got
in a fight with bikers?
1654
01:30:31,225 --> 01:30:33,557
A whole bunch of 'em.
We chased 'em out of town!
1655
01:30:33,628 --> 01:30:34,925
There was 50 of them.
1656
01:30:34,996 --> 01:30:36,361
- It was something.
- Fifty?
1657
01:30:36,431 --> 01:30:38,831
I gotta tell the guys
about this. That is awesome!
1658
01:30:38,900 --> 01:30:40,527
I'll be right back, OK?
1659
01:30:40,601 --> 01:30:42,262
Doug, are you sure you're OK?
1660
01:30:42,336 --> 01:30:43,564
[Chuckles]
1661
01:30:43,638 --> 01:30:45,799
- Ow, ow, ow, ow...
- Oh, your ribs, your ribs.
1662
01:30:45,873 --> 01:30:47,864
- You're standing on my foot!
- Oh, sorry!
1663
01:30:47,942 --> 01:30:49,466
So I'll see you when I get back?
1664
01:30:49,544 --> 01:30:51,205
- Mm-hmm.
- All right?
1665
01:30:51,279 --> 01:30:54,578
- Mmm. I love you.
- I love you too, baby.
1666
01:30:54,649 --> 01:30:56,344
All right.
1667
01:31:02,190 --> 01:31:03,817
Get a room, baby.
1668
01:31:03,891 --> 01:31:06,621
Can we? Do we have time?
1669
01:31:06,694 --> 01:31:08,753
When are you
coming back through?
1670
01:31:08,830 --> 01:31:10,161
A biker never knows.
1671
01:31:10,231 --> 01:31:12,358
Maybe a week.
1672
01:31:12,433 --> 01:31:14,094
Maybe a month.
1673
01:31:14,969 --> 01:31:17,335
Six days, ten hours, 27 minutes,
1674
01:31:17,405 --> 01:31:20,397
give or take six minutes
for wind resistance.
1675
01:31:24,812 --> 01:31:27,645
Well, I sure do wish
you guys would stick around.
1676
01:31:27,715 --> 01:31:30,183
We got some riding to do, sheriff.
Thanks anyway.
1677
01:31:30,251 --> 01:31:31,741
Well, I'll just say it:
1678
01:31:31,819 --> 01:31:33,878
You fellas were
a blessing to this place.
1679
01:31:33,955 --> 01:31:36,014
I mean, I'm not gonna
get all emotional
1680
01:31:36,090 --> 01:31:38,615
like old hamburger head
over here always...
1681
01:31:40,628 --> 01:31:42,289
What did you
just call me?
1682
01:31:42,363 --> 01:31:45,230
Uh, see, when we walked up,
you were on my...
1683
01:31:45,299 --> 01:31:48,291
You son of a bitch!
1684
01:31:49,103 --> 01:31:51,503
Come on, Buck, I swear.
That's the first time!
1685
01:31:51,572 --> 01:31:54,097
- I don't wanna hear it!
- Well, honestly, you can't.
1686
01:31:54,175 --> 01:31:55,836
I heard that.
1687
01:31:55,910 --> 01:31:58,879
- Ready to ride, guys?
- Ready to ride, baby.
1688
01:31:58,946 --> 01:32:01,039
Let's see what the
West Coast has to offer.
1689
01:32:01,115 --> 01:32:03,310
Think there'll be
any trouble along the way?
1690
01:32:03,384 --> 01:32:05,318
Oh, I hope so.
1691
01:32:05,386 --> 01:32:07,320
Yeah, I like
the way you think.
1692
01:32:07,388 --> 01:32:09,413
I like the way you think.
1693
01:32:19,901 --> 01:32:21,493
[All gasp]
1694
01:32:26,941 --> 01:32:29,341
I'm OK!
I just hurt my face.
1695
01:32:29,410 --> 01:32:31,901
[All cheering]
1696
01:32:31,979 --> 01:32:35,813
[# Brian Wilson:
Good Vibrations]
1697
01:33:22,096 --> 01:33:23,495
Wow.
1698
01:33:25,032 --> 01:33:27,899
- [Doug] Hey, we did it!
- [Woody] Woo-hoo!
1699
01:33:27,969 --> 01:33:29,561
Do you believe this?
1700
01:33:34,208 --> 01:33:36,938
- [Dudley] Hello!
- [Bobby] Whoa, my goodness.
1701
01:33:37,011 --> 01:33:39,309
Whoa, oh, no. Oh, no.
Oh! Whoa!
1702
01:33:39,380 --> 01:33:41,712
- Whoa! Ah!
- [Honking horn]
1703
01:33:41,782 --> 01:33:42,771
Whoa!
1704
01:33:43,284 --> 01:33:45,844
Whoa! Sorry, sorry.
1705
01:33:47,421 --> 01:33:49,855
Two thousand miles,
but I finally got it.
1706
01:33:49,924 --> 01:33:52,620
'Bout time, rookie!
1707
01:33:54,595 --> 01:33:58,156
- Lot of distractions.
- California, baby!
1708
01:33:58,232 --> 01:33:59,961
[All groan]
1709
01:34:04,305 --> 01:34:06,102
[Laughs]
1710
01:34:17,318 --> 01:34:19,752
Welcome back
to Extreme Makeover: Home Edition.
1711
01:34:19,820 --> 01:34:22,118
Now, we've met
some incredible families,
1712
01:34:22,189 --> 01:34:24,453
but this could be
the saddest story we've...
1713
01:34:24,525 --> 01:34:25,787
We've ever seen.
1714
01:34:25,860 --> 01:34:28,021
This family has lost everything.
1715
01:34:28,095 --> 01:34:31,155
They've lost their home,
they've lost their history,
1716
01:34:31,232 --> 01:34:32,859
they've lost their heritage.
1717
01:34:32,933 --> 01:34:35,458
But this week, we've done
something about that.
1718
01:34:35,536 --> 01:34:38,699
So let's welcome back...
the Del Fuego family!
1719
01:34:38,773 --> 01:34:42,140
[All cheering]
1720
01:34:45,012 --> 01:34:46,604
Well, Jack, two months ago, man,
1721
01:34:46,681 --> 01:34:48,478
you lost the only home
you ever knew.
1722
01:34:48,549 --> 01:34:51,177
But thanks to a call
from your friends, the Wild Hogs,
1723
01:34:51,252 --> 01:34:52,514
we built you a new one.
1724
01:34:52,586 --> 01:34:54,554
[Dudley] That's so great.
1725
01:34:54,622 --> 01:34:57,682
They... He didn't have to
mention us. That's... Oh, man.
1726
01:34:57,758 --> 01:34:59,487
So you guys know what to say?
1727
01:34:59,560 --> 01:35:03,189
- Say it with me!
- [All] Bus driver, move that bus!
1728
01:35:03,264 --> 01:35:05,789
[All cheer]
1729
01:35:07,768 --> 01:35:09,736
Oh!
1730
01:35:10,438 --> 01:35:11,871
Wow!
1731
01:35:18,879 --> 01:35:21,677
[Ty] Usually we have some
pretty emotional reactions,
1732
01:35:21,749 --> 01:35:24,343
but, uh, Jack, you know, wow.
1733
01:35:24,418 --> 01:35:28,878
I'm not sure what
was going on with Jack.
1734
01:35:28,956 --> 01:35:30,514
[Whimpering] Oh...
1735
01:35:30,591 --> 01:35:33,116
Thanks to our friends at Sears
and local breweries,
1736
01:35:33,194 --> 01:35:36,891
who provided state-of-the-art taps
and a year's supply of free beer!
1737
01:35:36,964 --> 01:35:39,228
[All cheering]
1738
01:35:40,768 --> 01:35:43,669
Oh, my God! That is so cool!
1739
01:35:43,738 --> 01:35:45,501
[Screaming] That is so cool!
1740
01:35:45,573 --> 01:35:48,007
Cool as a parking lot
made out of real leather?
1741
01:35:48,075 --> 01:35:50,339
- Oh!
- [Murdock] That is so rad!
1742
01:35:50,411 --> 01:35:52,504
That is so [bleep] rad!
1743
01:35:55,983 --> 01:35:59,646
The bar was my home.
When it went down...
1744
01:35:59,720 --> 01:36:02,883
I felt... homeless.
1745
01:36:03,824 --> 01:36:07,351
Del Fuegos,
go check out your new home!
1746
01:36:12,566 --> 01:36:15,433
[Ty] Here's the thing, you're
talking about a bunch of guys
1747
01:36:15,503 --> 01:36:18,563
that grew up in broken homes.
They really didn't have a home.
1748
01:36:18,639 --> 01:36:20,800
And now they've got one.
With a bidet in it.
1749
01:36:20,875 --> 01:36:24,470
- Thank you!
- [Cheering continues]
1750
01:36:24,545 --> 01:36:26,206
[Exhales heavily]
1751
01:36:27,047 --> 01:36:28,036
[Sniffles]
1752
01:36:28,115 --> 01:36:31,107
[All] We love our bar.
Thanks, America!
1753
01:36:32,019 --> 01:36:33,816
- Yeah!
- Whoo!
1754
01:36:33,888 --> 01:36:35,753
Wild Hogs!
1755
01:36:35,823 --> 01:36:38,883
[# Bon Jovi: Lost Highway]