1 00:02:24,628 --> 00:02:27,893 And this display is all that's left of CONTROL, a secret spy agency... 2 00:02:28,065 --> 00:02:31,762 ...which once battled against the criminal syndicate known as KAOS. 3 00:02:31,936 --> 00:02:34,666 CONTROL was disbanded at the end of the Cold War. 4 00:02:35,105 --> 00:02:38,097 Okay, up next, an exhibit... 5 00:03:44,541 --> 00:03:48,807 Judy, the elevator is still doing that thing where it drops really fast. 6 00:03:48,979 --> 00:03:50,640 Are you sure Maintenance fixed that? 7 00:03:50,814 --> 00:03:52,145 Let me check. 8 00:03:52,316 --> 00:03:54,079 Yep, they fixed it. 9 00:03:56,020 --> 00:03:57,317 See you later. 10 00:04:00,391 --> 00:04:02,154 - Hey, Max. Agent 50. 11 00:04:03,694 --> 00:04:05,787 16 floors down, how'd a fly even get in here? 12 00:04:05,963 --> 00:04:07,328 - Hey, Max. - Max! 13 00:04:07,498 --> 00:04:08,829 Hey, Larabee, 91. 14 00:04:08,999 --> 00:04:12,560 Yeah, big day. Could be your last chance to push a pencil. 15 00:04:12,736 --> 00:04:14,567 Field-agent test results are due. 16 00:04:14,738 --> 00:04:18,834 Oh. Is that today? I wasn't really thinking about it. 17 00:04:19,009 --> 00:04:21,443 Can you imagine Max as an agent? Little suit, little shoes. 18 00:04:23,414 --> 00:04:24,403 Uh-oh. Two-nerd pile-up. 19 00:04:25,749 --> 00:04:27,878 - Move! - Ow! 20 00:04:28,052 --> 00:04:30,816 Pretty boys. Nothing but empty suits. 21 00:04:30,988 --> 00:04:34,014 - Good morning, Bruce, Lloyd. - Why would you wanna be an agent? 22 00:04:34,191 --> 00:04:37,957 I mean, lab guys like us, analysts like you, we' re the real soldiers. 23 00:04:38,128 --> 00:04:40,494 We're the true guardians of freedom and democracy. 24 00:04:40,664 --> 00:04:43,132 And I hear we're getting a new cappuccino machine. 25 00:04:43,300 --> 00:04:44,733 No, that's only for agents. 26 00:04:45,335 --> 00:04:46,461 Oh. 27 00:04:58,682 --> 00:05:01,276 Hey, Agent 23 is back. 28 00:05:10,561 --> 00:05:12,392 Thank you. Thank you, thank you. 29 00:05:13,097 --> 00:05:14,997 - Welcome back, 23. - Maxie. 30 00:05:15,165 --> 00:05:17,030 So how was the assassination? 31 00:05:17,201 --> 00:05:19,999 Maxie, you know assassinations are specifically prohibited... 32 00:05:20,170 --> 00:05:22,035 ...by executive order 12333. 33 00:05:25,843 --> 00:05:27,174 23, you kill me. 34 00:05:27,344 --> 00:05:29,574 - I could if I wanted to. - Yes, you- Oh. Oh! 35 00:05:29,746 --> 00:05:32,271 Did you see that face he made? Scary. 36 00:05:35,285 --> 00:05:38,618 Six months' work. 18 million dollars. 37 00:05:39,990 --> 00:05:41,924 Fricking agents, man. 38 00:05:42,092 --> 00:05:43,423 Come on, let's see it. 39 00:05:43,594 --> 00:05:48,395 A lot of chatter in this region involves nuclear material. 40 00:05:48,565 --> 00:05:52,092 You may remember from page 627 of my last report... 41 00:05:52,269 --> 00:05:55,067 ...that there has been an uptick in KAOS interest in nukes. 42 00:05:57,307 --> 00:06:00,140 To wit, I offer the following conversation. 43 00:06:00,310 --> 00:06:02,471 What are you doing? Are you texting? 44 00:06:02,646 --> 00:06:05,877 Yeah, letting my fianc�e know we won't be able to get married in June. 45 00:06:06,049 --> 00:06:07,607 I'll still be in this meeting. 46 00:06:08,552 --> 00:06:10,144 Can I see that a second? - Yeah. 47 00:06:10,554 --> 00:06:11,578 That's great. 48 00:06:12,923 --> 00:06:14,982 That's weird. You lost your signal. 49 00:06:15,159 --> 00:06:17,127 Sorry to interrupt, Maxie, go ahead. 50 00:06:17,661 --> 00:06:19,891 Next time use your own damn phone. 51 00:06:21,231 --> 00:06:23,324 Good morning, men. No, offense, Karen. 52 00:06:23,500 --> 00:06:24,762 Snappy tie. 53 00:06:24,935 --> 00:06:27,733 Sorry I ' m late, but I just came out of a budget meeting... 54 00:06:27,905 --> 00:06:31,898 ...with our incredibly abrasive, dismissive and sarcastic vice president. 55 00:06:32,075 --> 00:06:33,235 It's no problem. 56 00:06:33,410 --> 00:06:38,404 I have obtained a snippet, at great risk to a busboy in Balahd. 57 00:06:42,186 --> 00:06:44,416 "Aftab, how is your coffee? " 58 00:06:45,389 --> 00:06:48,256 "Good, Dalip, it's decaf. 59 00:06:49,092 --> 00:06:50,389 How is yours? " 60 00:06:51,595 --> 00:06:53,688 " It is good also. 61 00:06:54,064 --> 00:06:56,396 How is your muffin? " 62 00:06:57,935 --> 00:06:59,300 Powerful stuff. 63 00:06:59,703 --> 00:07:02,137 So "muffin," then, is a code word? 64 00:07:02,306 --> 00:07:03,967 No, it is comfort food... 65 00:07:04,141 --> 00:07:07,008 ...and quite frankly, more fattening than most people realize. 66 00:07:07,177 --> 00:07:08,576 Which begs the question... 67 00:07:08,745 --> 00:07:12,909 ...why would two hardened KAOS agents... 68 00:07:13,083 --> 00:07:15,881 ...risk the carbs? 69 00:07:16,887 --> 00:07:19,378 Because they are under a great deal of stress. 70 00:07:19,556 --> 00:07:21,217 - Hence the decaf. - For Aftab, yes. 71 00:07:21,391 --> 00:07:23,757 Dalip takes his full-strength. Why? 72 00:07:23,927 --> 00:07:26,725 Because he has been sleeping on the couch for three days... 73 00:07:26,897 --> 00:07:30,189 ...because he called his sister-in-law a " leathery hag. " 74 00:07:30,367 --> 00:07:31,779 People often say things in anger they don ' t really mean. 75 00:07:31,814 --> 00:07:33,192 People often say things in anger they don't really mean. 76 00:07:33,370 --> 00:07:37,363 Leathery hag, fat cow, ungrateful whore. 77 00:07:37,541 --> 00:07:42,410 Just words, really, that shouldn't be used against you in a custody hearing. 78 00:07:42,913 --> 00:07:46,144 Let it go, man. Those kids don't even look like you. 79 00:07:46,617 --> 00:07:48,244 Can we put a pin in this, please... 80 00:07:48,418 --> 00:07:51,182 ...and go back to Max's extraordinarily detailed report? 81 00:07:51,355 --> 00:07:53,118 Thank you, Chief. All I'm saying is... 82 00:07:53,290 --> 00:07:56,157 ...that until we understand that our enemies are also human... 83 00:07:56,326 --> 00:07:57,987 ...we will never defeat them. 84 00:07:58,161 --> 00:08:03,827 Yes, they are bad guys, but that is what they do, not who they are. 85 00:08:04,134 --> 00:08:05,897 Let's continue listening... 86 00:08:06,069 --> 00:08:09,937 ...and bear in mind that the next 100 pages can get a little bit dry. 87 00:08:10,107 --> 00:08:11,904 Come on... 88 00:08:23,487 --> 00:08:26,479 Easy, Durat! This stuff is radioactive. 89 00:08:26,657 --> 00:08:28,625 One slip-up, and it's " ka-fricking-boom! " 90 00:08:28,792 --> 00:08:29,952 Shtarker. 91 00:08:31,295 --> 00:08:35,197 This is KAOS. We don ' t " ka-fricking-boom" here. 92 00:08:35,699 --> 00:08:37,326 Sorry, Mr. Siegfried. 93 00:08:37,501 --> 00:08:40,937 Get it in the truck, and let's burn this place to the ground. 94 00:08:41,104 --> 00:08:43,595 But if we have what we want, why burn the building? 95 00:08:50,981 --> 00:08:53,245 Any more questions? 96 00:09:17,341 --> 00:09:18,467 Missed me! 97 00:09:20,811 --> 00:09:23,905 All right! All right! I'm out! 98 00:09:24,081 --> 00:09:26,072 He was lying, Max. It was a good shot. 99 00:09:26,249 --> 00:09:27,546 Thanks. 100 00:09:27,718 --> 00:09:30,414 I am so sick of training. I wanna get out in the field. 101 00:09:30,587 --> 00:09:34,353 Give it up, 23! It's just you and Maxi-pad against the six of us. 102 00:09:34,524 --> 00:09:37,755 Oh, gee, Maxi-pad, I've never heard that one before! 103 00:09:38,195 --> 00:09:40,163 I never have actually heard that before. 104 00:09:47,204 --> 00:09:48,398 23, you're bleeding. 105 00:09:48,872 --> 00:09:52,467 It's a knife wound from the last mission. My blood gets pumping, it seeps. 106 00:09:52,642 --> 00:09:54,007 Hey, Maxine! 107 00:09:54,177 --> 00:09:56,907 Come over here and we'll play a game I like to call: 108 00:09:57,080 --> 00:09:58,945 " Let's Go to the Dog Show. " 109 00:09:59,116 --> 00:10:01,243 I put a collar on you and make you my bi-! 110 00:10:06,123 --> 00:10:08,291 I think I really got inside his head. 111 00:10:08,458 --> 00:10:10,123 I am not proud of what I just did. 112 00:10:10,293 --> 00:10:11,920 Game over, Chatty Cathy. 113 00:10:17,534 --> 00:10:19,934 Game over when I say it's over. 114 00:10:20,404 --> 00:10:21,894 - Okay. - Wet willy. 115 00:10:23,707 --> 00:10:25,402 Okay. Who wants lunch? 116 00:10:25,575 --> 00:10:28,942 Well, excellent work, 23, but I could ' ve handled it my- 117 00:10:32,048 --> 00:10:35,484 - Max, the Chief wants to see you. - It is nice to see you too! 118 00:10:42,926 --> 00:10:44,291 You wanted to see me, Chief? 119 00:10:44,461 --> 00:10:46,929 Yes, Max, yes, please, sit down. 120 00:10:47,097 --> 00:10:50,624 Your field-agent test results just came in and- 121 00:10:52,035 --> 00:10:54,697 - Something wrong with your ear? - Absolutely not. 122 00:10:54,871 --> 00:10:57,305 Would you like me to wait while you answer that? 123 00:10:57,474 --> 00:10:58,566 Answer what? 124 00:10:58,742 --> 00:11:00,676 Nothing. You were saying? 125 00:11:00,844 --> 00:11:03,244 I was saying the results are quite extraordinary. 126 00:11:03,413 --> 00:11:06,405 In fact, your essay on existentialism was quite amazing. 127 00:11:06,583 --> 00:11:08,107 I left that section blank. 128 00:11:08,285 --> 00:11:10,082 Blank? Brilliant. 129 00:11:10,253 --> 00:11:11,743 Brilliant, Max. 130 00:11:11,922 --> 00:11:14,584 - You passed with flying colors. - Yes! 131 00:11:14,758 --> 00:11:17,249 You know what, sir? I can't say that I am shocked. 132 00:11:17,427 --> 00:11:20,157 I felt good about this year's test, in light of the fact... 133 00:11:20,330 --> 00:11:23,026 ...that in previous years, my fitness has been an issue. 134 00:11:30,540 --> 00:11:31,564 Personal best. 135 00:11:31,741 --> 00:11:34,642 But not anymore. I ' m ready for duty. 136 00:11:34,811 --> 00:11:36,938 I know how hard you ' ve prepared for this... 137 00:11:37,113 --> 00:11:38,910 ...and how much this means to you... 138 00:11:39,082 --> 00:11:41,243 ...but I ' m afraid I can ' t promote you. 139 00:11:41,418 --> 00:11:44,945 - What? - I can ' t afford to give up my best analyst. 140 00:11:45,121 --> 00:11:48,318 I mean, the amount of chatter you get through, and the reports... 141 00:11:48,492 --> 00:11:50,619 ...I mean, they go way beyond the raw data. 142 00:11:51,328 --> 00:11:57,392 So to be clear, you ' re not promoting me, because I do such a great job. 143 00:11:58,235 --> 00:12:01,671 Max, the way you and I work is becoming a lost art form. 144 00:12:01,838 --> 00:12:04,636 I spend half my days trying to convince the vice president... 145 00:12:04,808 --> 00:12:07,606 ...that intelligence comes from humans and not satellites. 146 00:12:07,777 --> 00:12:11,213 Men with hunches, that's where the real work gets done. 147 00:12:11,381 --> 00:12:13,315 I ' m very proud of you, Max... 148 00:12:13,850 --> 00:12:16,011 ...very proud of you... 149 00:12:16,186 --> 00:12:18,051 ...but I need you where you are. 150 00:12:42,045 --> 00:12:44,343 / am sorry, but we can never be. 151 00:12:44,514 --> 00:12:48,541 Despite today's setback, I will at some point become a field agent... 152 00:12:48,718 --> 00:12:49,980 ...and when that happens... 153 00:12:50,153 --> 00:12:53,418 ...one phone call could take me to the other side of the world. 154 00:12:54,024 --> 00:12:57,858 Who am I kidding? I'm a middle-aged man who's missed the train. 155 00:12:58,528 --> 00:13:02,157 You don't deserve this. I don't deserve you. 156 00:13:02,332 --> 00:13:04,800 You're so young and so full of life. 157 00:13:05,869 --> 00:13:06,995 Don't do it, Fang. 158 00:13:07,871 --> 00:13:09,168 Don't love me. 159 00:13:11,675 --> 00:13:12,972 Here. 160 00:13:13,143 --> 00:13:15,111 - Oh, great. - Sorry. 161 00:13:15,278 --> 00:13:17,746 That was my last mile. I have no idea how fast it was. 162 00:13:17,914 --> 00:13:20,246 You were moving. It's not easy to knock me down. 163 00:13:20,417 --> 00:13:22,647 I have a low center of gravity. Pretty solid. 164 00:13:22,819 --> 00:13:25,151 I ' m just gonna call that one a 4: 50. 165 00:13:25,322 --> 00:13:29,315 Impressive. I once ran a 5: 16. 166 00:13:29,492 --> 00:13:32,359 Oh, really? That's, uh, slower. 167 00:13:32,529 --> 00:13:34,019 Not everything ' s a competition. 168 00:13:34,297 --> 00:13:36,026 Well, if it were, I ' d win. 169 00:13:36,199 --> 00:13:38,394 Ah. Are you flirting with me? 170 00:13:39,469 --> 00:13:41,562 Not at all. Are you flirting with me? 171 00:13:41,738 --> 00:13:43,501 That depends. Is it working? 172 00:13:44,040 --> 00:13:45,871 Not at all. 173 00:13:46,042 --> 00:13:48,510 Well, nice meeting you! I admire your focus! 174 00:13:52,115 --> 00:13:53,707 Am I invisible? 175 00:14:29,586 --> 00:14:32,384 Bruce, Lloyd, what happened? 176 00:14:32,555 --> 00:14:35,080 And what is that ungodly smell? 177 00:14:35,458 --> 00:14:36,755 Fear. 178 00:14:38,495 --> 00:14:39,792 I'll be back. 179 00:14:45,935 --> 00:14:47,027 Freeze. 180 00:14:47,203 --> 00:14:48,500 Freeze. 181 00:14:49,139 --> 00:14:50,663 - No, you freeze. - You freeze. 182 00:14:50,840 --> 00:14:52,967 - I told you to freeze. - Freeze times infinity. 183 00:14:53,143 --> 00:14:54,440 Oh, my God. 184 00:14:55,245 --> 00:14:56,644 - You. - You. 185 00:14:56,813 --> 00:14:58,610 - Are you CONTROL? - I ' m Maxwell Smart. 186 00:14:58,782 --> 00:15:00,750 I am a CONTROL analyst. Who are you? 187 00:15:02,519 --> 00:15:04,077 I ' m Agent 99. 188 00:15:04,254 --> 00:15:07,451 Oh, my word. You are Agent 99? 189 00:15:07,624 --> 00:15:10,354 - I am a huge fan! - Thank you. 190 00:15:20,904 --> 00:15:22,633 What are you doing? 191 00:15:23,339 --> 00:15:24,829 I'm right here, just talk to me! 192 00:15:25,008 --> 00:15:27,442 I'm going to cause a diversion. You run and get help. 193 00:15:27,610 --> 00:15:29,578 - I really don't think that that's a- - Shh. 194 00:15:29,746 --> 00:15:31,680 - Did you just-? - Shh! 195 00:15:49,866 --> 00:15:51,060 Go, go, go! 196 00:15:51,568 --> 00:15:52,592 Wait! 197 00:15:55,038 --> 00:15:56,403 Somebody shut it off! 198 00:16:04,380 --> 00:16:07,144 Good, 23, just in time. I think I got one of them. 199 00:16:09,185 --> 00:16:10,777 Is that the Chief? 200 00:16:12,222 --> 00:16:13,849 Yes, it is. 201 00:16:14,023 --> 00:16:15,251 Sorry about that, Chief. 202 00:16:15,859 --> 00:16:17,850 Is that a dent in his head? 203 00:16:34,744 --> 00:16:36,439 Hi. Hi. 204 00:16:36,613 --> 00:16:39,446 Agent 13, you are in a tree. 205 00:16:39,616 --> 00:16:42,881 Yeah, communications got knocked down, so they put me in a tree. 206 00:16:43,052 --> 00:16:45,043 - Old-school stuff. - Glad to see you ' re okay. 207 00:16:45,221 --> 00:16:46,245 Yeah, yeah. 208 00:16:46,790 --> 00:16:50,123 Well, I have to get going. Would you raise up the walkway, please? 209 00:16:50,293 --> 00:16:52,591 You don't have to get going. You don't have to go. 210 00:16:52,762 --> 00:16:53,956 Yeah, I ' ve got a meeting. 211 00:16:54,130 --> 00:16:55,722 - How you been? - I ' ve been well. 212 00:16:55,899 --> 00:16:58,629 - Everything good? - It's great. Well, I gotta... 213 00:16:58,802 --> 00:17:00,394 Could you come back this way? 214 00:17:01,604 --> 00:17:03,265 Yeah, yeah, I think I will. 215 00:17:03,606 --> 00:17:04,937 What time? 216 00:17:05,408 --> 00:17:07,933 Well... Mm. 217 00:17:08,344 --> 00:17:10,073 I get it. 218 00:17:11,181 --> 00:17:13,172 Who wants to talk to a guy in a tree? 219 00:17:13,349 --> 00:17:14,646 I get it. 220 00:17:15,752 --> 00:17:18,550 Hang in there. Don ' t cry, don ' t- Please don ' t cry. 221 00:17:39,576 --> 00:17:41,669 Okay. Let's get started. 222 00:17:41,845 --> 00:17:44,507 You ' ll have to bear with me, I'm still a little fuzzy. 223 00:17:44,681 --> 00:17:47,149 I got a pretty good hit in the head yesterday. 224 00:17:47,317 --> 00:17:51,310 Yes, it was dark in there. You probably tripped. 225 00:17:51,487 --> 00:17:54,547 I hurt my knee. It was smoky too. 226 00:17:55,992 --> 00:17:58,051 All right, here's what we know. 227 00:17:58,228 --> 00:18:01,026 Wait. Chief, I request the cone of silence. 228 00:18:01,197 --> 00:18:04,928 Max, not the cone of silence. We're in a safe room, for God's sakes. 229 00:18:05,101 --> 00:18:06,693 We thought CONTROL was safe. 230 00:18:07,470 --> 00:18:08,801 Okay. Lloyd. 231 00:18:12,742 --> 00:18:16,576 Okay, we have reason to believe that our security was breached by KAOS. 232 00:18:16,746 --> 00:18:19,010 - You have to speak up. Can you hear me? 233 00:18:19,182 --> 00:18:21,013 - I ' m not hearing anyone. - What? 234 00:18:21,184 --> 00:18:23,118 Can you hear me? What did you say? 235 00:18:23,286 --> 00:18:25,846 - Bruce, it's not working. - It's not working! 236 00:18:27,123 --> 00:18:29,921 Chief! I hit you in the head with a fire extinguisher! 237 00:18:30,093 --> 00:18:32,061 No, no, no, we're not ready yet. 238 00:18:32,228 --> 00:18:34,162 Okay. All right. 239 00:18:34,330 --> 00:18:36,594 - It doesn't work, get rid of it. - Turn it off. 240 00:18:36,766 --> 00:18:39,360 This thing is no good. It's a useless piece of garbage. 241 00:18:39,535 --> 00:18:41,696 - Turn it off! - Larabee, you all right? 242 00:18:41,871 --> 00:18:43,805 Larabee wants out! 243 00:18:48,544 --> 00:18:51,342 T oday's the day, and we're gonna get rid of this damn thing. 244 00:18:51,514 --> 00:18:54,108 That is cold. That's cold. All right, easy. 245 00:18:54,284 --> 00:18:55,911 All right, are we done? 246 00:18:56,085 --> 00:18:57,450 Yep. I can hear now. 247 00:18:57,620 --> 00:19:00,714 Sorry, Chief, someone led me to believe the cone was ready. 248 00:19:00,890 --> 00:19:03,586 For the record, I never actually used the word " ready. " 249 00:19:03,760 --> 00:19:06,320 " I ' ll show them the cone. The cone's the shizzle. " 250 00:19:06,496 --> 00:19:07,895 - You said that to me. - All right, shut up. 251 00:19:08,598 --> 00:19:09,622 Listen up, people. 252 00:19:09,799 --> 00:19:12,131 There's been a rash of thefts of nuclear material... 253 00:19:12,302 --> 00:19:14,736 ...especially yellowcake, over the last three months. 254 00:19:14,904 --> 00:19:19,534 Now, based on Max's intel, we were able to get Agent 38 inside KAOS. 255 00:19:19,709 --> 00:19:21,904 We must've been close to uncovering something... 256 00:19:22,078 --> 00:19:23,909 ...so KAOS hit us and they hit us hard. 257 00:19:24,080 --> 00:19:25,870 They hacked our system... 258 00:19:26,049 --> 00:19:28,749 ...and learned the identities of all our field agents. 259 00:19:28,918 --> 00:19:30,977 Around the world our people are under attack. 260 00:19:38,361 --> 00:19:42,058 Our only lead is the maker of the bomb KAOS used against us. 261 00:19:42,231 --> 00:19:43,755 Vladimir Krs... 262 00:19:43,933 --> 00:19:45,867 - It's pronounced " Krstic," sir. - Yes... 263 00:19:47,236 --> 00:19:48,601 Krstic. 264 00:19:50,106 --> 00:19:54,440 Yes. He is a Bosnian national, and one of KAOS' favorite munitions suppliers. 265 00:19:54,610 --> 00:19:57,408 Unfortunately, we have no idea where he is. 266 00:19:57,580 --> 00:19:59,707 Actually, sir, we do. He is in Russia. 267 00:19:59,882 --> 00:20:02,908 - How do you know that? - It was on page 482 of my report. 268 00:20:05,254 --> 00:20:06,881 Doesn ' t anybody read my reports? 269 00:20:08,124 --> 00:20:11,582 All right, our mission is clear, people. Find Krs... 270 00:20:11,761 --> 00:20:13,353 - Krstic. - Yes. Find him! 271 00:20:13,529 --> 00:20:15,520 - Kris Kringle. Fish stick. Yes, Krs- 272 00:20:15,698 --> 00:20:17,290 - Okay, I got it, I got it. Krstic. 273 00:20:17,467 --> 00:20:21,062 Use him to get to KAOS, then recover the stolen nuclear material... 274 00:20:21,237 --> 00:20:23,671 ...before they can do something less than friendly... 275 00:20:23,840 --> 00:20:27,799 ...and maybe, if we' re lucky, we can apprehend the man behind it all... 276 00:20:27,977 --> 00:20:29,069 ...Siegfried. 277 00:20:29,245 --> 00:20:32,146 Pictured here with his number two man, Shtarker. 278 00:20:32,315 --> 00:20:35,148 How are we gonna do that when our agents are compromised? 279 00:20:35,318 --> 00:20:38,185 Put me out there, Chief. I ' m not afraid to expose myself. 280 00:20:38,354 --> 00:20:40,413 Do you ever think before you speak? 281 00:20:40,590 --> 00:20:42,990 No, I just whip it out there. It's what's best. 282 00:20:43,159 --> 00:20:44,820 Fortunately, we have other options. 283 00:20:44,994 --> 00:20:49,761 99 recently underwent massive plastic surgery, so her new face is not known yet. 284 00:20:49,932 --> 00:20:52,867 We also have a new agent, Agent 86. 285 00:20:53,036 --> 00:20:54,298 Who's that, sir? 286 00:20:54,470 --> 00:20:56,097 It's you, Max. 287 00:20:57,907 --> 00:20:59,534 All right, Maxie. 288 00:21:00,810 --> 00:21:01,834 You did it. 289 00:21:03,780 --> 00:21:05,543 Lloyd, may I have the C. O. S. please? 290 00:21:10,353 --> 00:21:11,547 I'm so happy! 291 00:21:11,721 --> 00:21:15,817 I'm so happy! This is the best day of my life! 292 00:21:18,061 --> 00:21:21,497 Max, you didn't push the button hard enough. 293 00:21:21,664 --> 00:21:24,155 - So you could hear me? Yes. 294 00:21:24,967 --> 00:21:27,333 - Right. Excuse me, Chief, just a thought. 295 00:21:27,503 --> 00:21:31,439 - I'm not questioning your judgment- 99, I insist on complete honesty. 296 00:21:31,607 --> 00:21:34,633 If you have something to say to me, I wish you would just say it. 297 00:21:34,811 --> 00:21:37,143 Max has no experience. I don't want him as my partner. 298 00:21:37,313 --> 00:21:40,714 Well, that is a sucker punch to the gonads. 299 00:21:43,219 --> 00:21:47,155 Hey, Max. We got you a lovely parting gift for your first mission. 300 00:21:47,323 --> 00:21:49,587 Oh, a pocketknife. 301 00:21:49,759 --> 00:21:52,091 Not just a pocketknife, Swiss Army knife. 302 00:21:52,261 --> 00:21:54,752 Comes with tweezers, pliers, a tiny magnifying glass. 303 00:21:54,931 --> 00:21:58,094 Fish scaler, a saw, a flamethrower, chisel, a wire-crimping tool. 304 00:21:58,267 --> 00:22:00,132 - What was that thing you said? - Chisel? 305 00:22:00,303 --> 00:22:02,066 Before that. Did you say flamethrower? 306 00:22:02,238 --> 00:22:03,569 - Yeah. - Check it. 307 00:22:06,209 --> 00:22:08,370 We also added a crossbow that fires harpoons... 308 00:22:08,544 --> 00:22:12,275 ...connected to spider-silk nano-thread. Has the strength of steel cable. 309 00:22:12,448 --> 00:22:14,939 It's a time-consuming, labor-intensive technology. 310 00:22:15,118 --> 00:22:17,245 The spiders have to be individually milked. 311 00:22:17,420 --> 00:22:19,388 And they do not like it. 312 00:22:19,555 --> 00:22:20,886 No, they don't. 313 00:22:21,057 --> 00:22:23,025 Gentlemen, you're the best. 314 00:22:23,526 --> 00:22:24,550 Thanks. 315 00:22:41,611 --> 00:22:44,011 Ladies and gentlemen, while you are in your seats... 316 00:22:44,180 --> 00:22:46,375 ...please keep your seatbelts fastened. 317 00:22:47,283 --> 00:22:49,877 I feel really good about us as partners. 318 00:22:50,052 --> 00:22:51,747 23 says that's important. 319 00:22:52,488 --> 00:22:55,116 " Trust is a must. " That's what 23 says. 320 00:22:55,291 --> 00:22:56,315 Does he? 321 00:22:56,492 --> 00:22:59,484 You and I share a bond, I think. 322 00:22:59,662 --> 00:23:03,826 We both know what it feels like to look in the mirror and not like what we see. 323 00:23:04,000 --> 00:23:06,798 You with the surgery, me with the weight loss. 324 00:23:07,069 --> 00:23:09,060 I wanna show you something. 325 00:23:13,242 --> 00:23:14,334 That was me. 326 00:23:14,510 --> 00:23:16,410 Wow, impressive. 327 00:23:16,579 --> 00:23:18,240 Congratulations. 328 00:23:18,414 --> 00:23:19,904 Thank you. 329 00:23:22,518 --> 00:23:25,453 This is me. 330 00:23:26,289 --> 00:23:28,018 Wow. 331 00:23:28,191 --> 00:23:30,091 Very impressive, 99. 332 00:23:30,793 --> 00:23:33,353 You were truly hideous back then. 333 00:23:35,932 --> 00:23:38,457 Since we are going to be portraying husband and wife... 334 00:23:38,634 --> 00:23:41,000 ...maybe we should get our story set. 335 00:23:41,337 --> 00:23:42,827 Okay, good idea. 336 00:23:44,707 --> 00:23:49,201 We met at a marketing convention in Vegas. Married a year later. No kids. 337 00:23:49,378 --> 00:23:51,278 I like your parents, but you hate mine. 338 00:23:51,447 --> 00:23:52,812 Do we want kids? 339 00:23:52,982 --> 00:23:55,849 Well, you do, but I ' m concentrating on my career. 340 00:23:56,018 --> 00:23:58,782 I don ' t know if that's fair. I mean, I ' m older than you are. 341 00:23:58,955 --> 00:24:01,981 - Well, not by much. - Really? 342 00:24:03,559 --> 00:24:06,892 When they gave me a new face, I had them... 343 00:24:07,730 --> 00:24:09,823 ...take a couple years off. 344 00:24:09,999 --> 00:24:11,489 You know, why not? 345 00:24:12,335 --> 00:24:17,034 Well, if that's the case, then you are at an advanced age, and you should be- 346 00:24:17,206 --> 00:24:19,003 Well, no. I was never... 347 00:24:19,175 --> 00:24:23,373 I ' m just saying that your eggs could dry up and fall out of your uterus. 348 00:24:23,546 --> 00:24:25,912 So time is of the essence. 349 00:24:27,016 --> 00:24:29,985 - That's your opinion. - No, that is a medical fact. 350 00:24:30,152 --> 00:24:32,848 There is a lot of time for me to make this decision. 351 00:24:33,022 --> 00:24:35,422 I will not be rushed into it by you or my mother. 352 00:24:35,591 --> 00:24:38,025 - You don't have much time. - Where is the drink cart? 353 00:24:42,732 --> 00:24:43,721 Uh-oh. 354 00:24:43,899 --> 00:24:45,662 - What? - Six o' clock. 355 00:24:46,535 --> 00:24:50,130 Don ' t turn around, don ' t turn around. Use your peripherals. 356 00:24:54,577 --> 00:24:55,908 Do you see him? 357 00:24:56,178 --> 00:24:59,443 I ' m just widening my eyes. I'm not actually seeing anything more. 358 00:24:59,615 --> 00:25:02,049 The big guy that might as well be holding up a sign: 359 00:25:02,218 --> 00:25:04,015 " I'm an assassin, here to kill you. " 360 00:25:04,186 --> 00:25:06,586 Okay, 99, you know what? That is profiling. 361 00:25:06,756 --> 00:25:11,386 Just because he is large doesn't necessarily mean that he is a bad guy. 362 00:25:13,296 --> 00:25:15,856 Oh. Wow. 363 00:25:16,032 --> 00:25:19,126 That's a bad guy. That's a really bad guy. 364 00:25:19,302 --> 00:25:21,065 - You don't say. - Did you see his face? 365 00:25:21,237 --> 00:25:22,261 Yes. 366 00:25:22,438 --> 00:25:25,805 His head looks like one of the Easter Island heads. 367 00:25:28,044 --> 00:25:30,035 You know what? I'm doing the same thing. 368 00:25:30,212 --> 00:25:33,079 That's profiling, and I will have none of it. 369 00:25:33,249 --> 00:25:37,083 Darn it, I have gum on my new shoes. 370 00:25:42,091 --> 00:25:44,423 - He's trying to light his shoe. It's a shoe bomb! 371 00:25:44,593 --> 00:25:45,855 - Get him! - It's gum. 372 00:25:46,028 --> 00:25:49,520 - He's got a gun! - Not- Gum! Not- No! Gum! 373 00:25:52,735 --> 00:25:54,293 Gum! 374 00:25:54,470 --> 00:25:56,495 Federal marshal, you're under arrest. 375 00:25:56,672 --> 00:26:00,073 Sir, I believe you just shattered my coccyx. 376 00:26:01,377 --> 00:26:04,107 Folks, we may be experiencing a little turbulence. 377 00:26:04,280 --> 00:26:06,840 The "fasten seatbelt " sign has been turned on. 378 00:26:08,684 --> 00:26:11,448 Well, you were no help whatsoever. 379 00:26:11,620 --> 00:26:15,317 How could I help? I ' m just a woman with a dusty old uterus. 380 00:26:15,491 --> 00:26:17,789 I never said dusty. 381 00:26:18,427 --> 00:26:20,486 We're close to the drop site. I'll go first. 382 00:26:20,663 --> 00:26:23,689 - Gonna be all right with your cuffs? - No cuffs can contain me. 383 00:26:25,501 --> 00:26:27,492 Excuse me, violent sky marshal. 384 00:26:28,437 --> 00:26:29,665 What do you want? 385 00:26:29,839 --> 00:26:31,306 I have to squeeze the lemon. 386 00:26:31,474 --> 00:26:32,964 Ugh. 387 00:26:33,442 --> 00:26:34,841 You heard me. 388 00:26:35,010 --> 00:26:37,205 Squeeze the lemon. 389 00:26:50,326 --> 00:26:53,727 - Do you work out? - Occasionally. 390 00:26:53,896 --> 00:26:56,057 Yeah, I ' m big on protein. Protein ' s great. 391 00:27:09,178 --> 00:27:12,045 I gotta get it out. I gotta get that out! 392 00:27:14,016 --> 00:27:16,917 That's in there, that's in there. 393 00:27:25,694 --> 00:27:27,355 No time for pain. 394 00:27:27,530 --> 00:27:29,225 Over the drop zone. 395 00:27:35,438 --> 00:27:37,269 Ball sack! 396 00:27:46,749 --> 00:27:48,376 Son of a hamster. 397 00:27:48,551 --> 00:27:50,781 You all right in there? - Yeah. Yes, I am. 398 00:27:51,053 --> 00:27:52,213 Everything's fine. 399 00:27:52,388 --> 00:27:54,447 Mother of pearl! 400 00:28:01,797 --> 00:28:03,355 That burns! 401 00:28:03,532 --> 00:28:04,863 Last chance. 402 00:28:08,437 --> 00:28:12,134 WOMAN Airlock activated. Three, two, one. 403 00:28:16,712 --> 00:28:18,543 First package away. 404 00:28:26,121 --> 00:28:28,055 Absolutely, I love cats. 405 00:28:28,224 --> 00:28:29,248 - Really? - Yeah. 406 00:28:35,431 --> 00:28:36,898 Damn. 407 00:28:50,479 --> 00:28:52,310 Second package away. 408 00:29:10,833 --> 00:29:12,767 Oh, good, you heard me. 409 00:29:15,638 --> 00:29:17,503 Third package away. 410 00:29:18,607 --> 00:29:19,631 Third package? 411 00:29:25,881 --> 00:29:28,008 99, Easter Island. 412 00:29:35,224 --> 00:29:40,059 - I'll be right back! - Where could you possibly be going? 413 00:30:05,054 --> 00:30:08,285 Okay, never do that again! 414 00:30:08,457 --> 00:30:10,482 Stop hanging on me! Never! Stop it! 415 00:30:16,832 --> 00:30:20,495 Max, I can't reach my reserve! Do something! 416 00:30:28,177 --> 00:30:30,543 That would have definitely worked on me. 417 00:30:30,713 --> 00:30:35,082 Are you crazy? If I can't pull my chute, you'll die too! 418 00:30:55,270 --> 00:30:56,931 Aim for the haystack. Stop talking. 419 00:30:57,106 --> 00:30:59,870 - Aim for the haystack, it's softer. - Stop talking! 420 00:31:01,644 --> 00:31:03,043 You missed it. 421 00:31:31,306 --> 00:31:33,934 Okay, not to keep dwelling on this... 422 00:31:34,109 --> 00:31:36,441 ...but that was some kiss. 423 00:31:36,612 --> 00:31:38,136 How did you know that would work? 424 00:31:38,313 --> 00:31:40,975 Have you kissed other men who plummeted to their deaths? 425 00:31:41,150 --> 00:31:42,174 Okay, you know what? 426 00:31:42,351 --> 00:31:46,754 So far, our entire partnership has consisted of me getting you out of trouble. 427 00:31:46,922 --> 00:31:49,186 Do you know why? It is because you keep leading. 428 00:31:49,658 --> 00:31:51,819 So here's how we stop that. I lead now. 429 00:31:51,994 --> 00:31:54,121 I'm the one with experience. You know nothing. 430 00:31:54,463 --> 00:31:55,987 I beg to differ. 431 00:31:56,165 --> 00:31:58,861 I looked up your field agent exam, and I scored- 432 00:31:59,034 --> 00:32:01,025 - My what? - Your field agent exam. 433 00:32:01,203 --> 00:32:02,966 I scored eight points higher than you. 434 00:32:03,138 --> 00:32:04,230 This is not a classroom. 435 00:32:04,406 --> 00:32:06,931 That's the difference between an A plus and an A minus. 436 00:32:07,109 --> 00:32:10,840 - You'll get us killed if you don't listen! - A minus! 437 00:32:11,613 --> 00:32:14,446 Okay, you're faced with an assassin. What do you do? 438 00:32:14,616 --> 00:32:18,052 - I take out my gun, and I would shoot- - You don't have a gun. 439 00:32:18,220 --> 00:32:19,983 - I did until you took it. - Bang. You're dead. 440 00:32:20,155 --> 00:32:21,383 - No, I'm not. - Bang. You're dead. 441 00:32:21,557 --> 00:32:22,819 - Stop shooting me. - You are dead. 442 00:32:22,991 --> 00:32:24,959 - I don't like it when you shoot me. - Bang. Bang. Bang. 443 00:32:25,127 --> 00:32:26,287 - Stop it. - Bang. Bang. 444 00:32:26,462 --> 00:32:29,625 Stop shooting me more. You already said I was- Hey. 445 00:32:30,132 --> 00:32:31,656 Throw out your manual. 446 00:32:31,834 --> 00:32:35,235 Out here there are no grades, there's only dead, and not dead. 447 00:32:36,338 --> 00:32:40,365 You know, I am not completely incompetent without a gun. 448 00:32:40,542 --> 00:32:43,568 I am a master in the art of Hwa Rang Do. 449 00:32:46,915 --> 00:32:49,042 - I was not ready. - That's my point. 450 00:32:49,218 --> 00:32:50,515 Yeah, you know what? That- 451 00:32:50,686 --> 00:32:52,847 Hey, what was that? 452 00:32:57,926 --> 00:33:01,657 Max is halfway to Moscow. Don ' t tell me you're still translating that Russian. 453 00:33:01,830 --> 00:33:03,388 They talk fast, it's hard. 454 00:33:04,533 --> 00:33:07,058 It takes like eight of these morons to do what Max did. 455 00:33:07,236 --> 00:33:09,431 I can't wait till we finish the Hymie project. 456 00:33:09,605 --> 00:33:11,630 All these stupid agents will be obsolete. 457 00:33:11,807 --> 00:33:13,297 - Bye-bye. - What's a Hymie? 458 00:33:13,475 --> 00:33:16,569 Hybrid Mechanical Intelligence Entity. Basically a robot. 459 00:33:16,745 --> 00:33:18,679 It's a stolen KAOS technology. 460 00:33:18,847 --> 00:33:21,247 Being reprogrammed. Top-secret. Need-to-know. 461 00:33:21,416 --> 00:33:23,111 And you don ' t need. 462 00:33:23,519 --> 00:33:26,784 I ' m a trained killer. I can kill you with anything in this office. 463 00:33:26,955 --> 00:33:29,924 You wanna die by Post-its? Because I could make that happen. 464 00:33:30,092 --> 00:33:31,787 And that's a slow death. 465 00:33:33,295 --> 00:33:34,626 Larabee. - Yeah. 466 00:33:34,797 --> 00:33:36,526 - Were you the last one to use the copier? - Yeah. 467 00:33:36,698 --> 00:33:37,858 You left it jammed. 468 00:33:38,033 --> 00:33:40,365 So? Why don ' t you... 469 00:33:40,736 --> 00:33:42,033 ...unjam it? 470 00:33:42,204 --> 00:33:45,196 - Just open the door, read the instructions. - This your stapler? 471 00:33:45,374 --> 00:33:47,934 - Yeah, want me to show you how to use it? - No. 472 00:33:49,678 --> 00:33:50,702 Unjam that. 473 00:33:50,879 --> 00:33:52,107 -23. - Yes. 474 00:33:52,281 --> 00:33:54,806 - Can I have a moment, please? - Sure. 475 00:33:55,450 --> 00:33:56,644 Yes, Chief. 476 00:33:56,819 --> 00:33:59,982 Let me tell you about a pattern that's beginning to emerge. 477 00:34:00,155 --> 00:34:02,350 As a former field agent, I ' m very much aware... 478 00:34:02,524 --> 00:34:05,618 ...of how difficult it is to make the transition to office life. 479 00:34:05,794 --> 00:34:07,318 He didn't unjam the copier. 480 00:34:07,496 --> 00:34:10,761 We have rules here. If you don't follow the rules, then what are we? 481 00:34:10,933 --> 00:34:15,097 I'll tell you what we're not. We're not people who jam staples into people's heads. 482 00:34:15,270 --> 00:34:16,897 That's CIA crap. 483 00:34:17,072 --> 00:34:19,267 All right, look, Chief, I'm your best guy. 484 00:34:19,441 --> 00:34:22,933 I don't belong in an office making copies. I should be out there with Max. 485 00:34:23,111 --> 00:34:25,545 Look, 23, no more stapling today. 486 00:34:26,982 --> 00:34:28,279 Just hold on. 487 00:34:34,623 --> 00:34:36,682 So how do you know this place? 488 00:34:36,859 --> 00:34:39,157 Well, as an analyst, I like to keep my ears open. 489 00:34:39,328 --> 00:34:40,727 It's amazing what you learn... 490 00:34:40,896 --> 00:34:44,696 ...listening to chatter. In fact, Ladislas Krstic loves this place. 491 00:34:44,867 --> 00:34:49,804 As do many KAOS agents. Caf� Minsk-Pinsk in Smolensk. 492 00:34:49,972 --> 00:34:52,167 It doesn't get any better than "thinsk. " 493 00:34:53,542 --> 00:34:55,510 You see what I just did? 494 00:34:55,677 --> 00:34:58,305 I added an "insk" at the end, made it sound Russian. 495 00:34:58,480 --> 00:35:00,038 Should've smacked you harder. 496 00:35:00,215 --> 00:35:01,546 Is that your default setting? 497 00:35:01,717 --> 00:35:04,185 Do you just punch people in the face willy-nilly? 498 00:35:04,353 --> 00:35:06,321 " It's Tuesday, I'll punch Max in the face. " 499 00:35:06,488 --> 00:35:09,184 "A box of kittens, time to punch Max in the face. " 500 00:35:09,358 --> 00:35:11,690 " I'm having bread, time to punch Max in the face. " 501 00:35:11,860 --> 00:35:13,384 You know, I love bread... 502 00:35:13,562 --> 00:35:15,894 ...and I know bread has a few carbs, but... 503 00:35:16,064 --> 00:35:18,123 ...I've never really been afraid of carbs... 504 00:35:18,300 --> 00:35:22,737 ...because it seems like no matter how many I eat, I stay " thinsk. " 505 00:35:37,986 --> 00:35:40,181 I ' m sorry, are you talking to me? 506 00:35:40,355 --> 00:35:42,084 No sprechen Sie Russian. 507 00:36:26,168 --> 00:36:29,137 Boy, you know what? I will tell you, I love your country. 508 00:36:29,304 --> 00:36:32,603 No more Communism. No rules of any kind, really. 509 00:36:32,774 --> 00:36:36,437 I'm filling my suitcase with steroids and art from ancient Mesopotamia. 510 00:36:36,611 --> 00:36:40,240 Ran over an old woman yesterday. Best vacation I've ever had. 511 00:36:43,952 --> 00:36:45,943 Time to take my pill. 512 00:36:52,427 --> 00:36:54,759 There was a guy in the bathroom who's really hot. 513 00:36:56,398 --> 00:36:57,922 Okay... 514 00:36:58,100 --> 00:37:00,227 No, no, no. Radioactive hot. 515 00:37:00,402 --> 00:37:03,667 Although he did have a certain rugged quality that some find appealing. 516 00:37:03,839 --> 00:37:05,807 How did you know he was radioactive? 517 00:37:06,174 --> 00:37:09,666 My watch is a Geiger counter. You don't have one of these? Huh. 518 00:37:10,112 --> 00:37:13,081 Listen, I think he was part of the nuclear theft in Chechnya. 519 00:37:13,248 --> 00:37:14,442 We should follow him. 520 00:37:14,616 --> 00:37:16,243 I gotta say, Max... 521 00:37:16,985 --> 00:37:18,452 ...you picked a good restaurant. 522 00:37:56,458 --> 00:37:57,550 Of course. 523 00:37:58,360 --> 00:37:59,793 Tripe soup. 524 00:37:59,961 --> 00:38:03,055 - This must be Ladislas Krstic's house. - What? 525 00:38:03,231 --> 00:38:06,792 Tripe soup is his favorite dish. It was in the mission dossier. 526 00:38:06,968 --> 00:38:09,061 Let's just see what we're up against, okay? 527 00:38:17,646 --> 00:38:19,637 I didn't get to eat at the restaurant. 528 00:38:19,815 --> 00:38:23,012 And if you skip a meal, the next meal you overindulge. 529 00:38:23,185 --> 00:38:25,244 - Well, let me. I've got nails. - It's a recipe for- 530 00:38:27,189 --> 00:38:28,520 You owe me $3. 531 00:38:30,392 --> 00:38:33,555 More guards. We'll have to figure out a way in. 532 00:38:39,468 --> 00:38:40,492 Miniature blowgun. 533 00:38:40,669 --> 00:38:42,864 You don't have one of these? 534 00:38:43,038 --> 00:38:47,099 These darts are tipped with a tranquilizer derived from the skin of a lizard... 535 00:38:47,275 --> 00:38:49,402 ...known as los zapatos de la muerte. 536 00:38:49,578 --> 00:38:50,670 " The shoes of death. " 537 00:38:51,580 --> 00:38:52,877 Excuse me. 538 00:38:53,415 --> 00:38:56,612 They' re 40 yards out, that's definitely the edge of my range. 539 00:38:56,785 --> 00:39:00,448 I'm going to have to give this one a little something extra. 540 00:39:16,171 --> 00:39:17,695 Wow. 541 00:39:17,873 --> 00:39:19,431 You look spectacular. 542 00:39:19,608 --> 00:39:20,734 Thanks. 543 00:39:21,042 --> 00:39:22,873 You don't look too bad yourself. 544 00:39:24,146 --> 00:39:25,408 Is that a wig? 545 00:39:25,580 --> 00:39:27,104 Yeah, it came with the dress. 546 00:39:27,782 --> 00:39:31,809 - How did I get into these clothes? - That's not important. Let's go. 547 00:39:35,090 --> 00:39:36,387 Am I wearing boxers? 548 00:39:39,427 --> 00:39:42,658 For future reference, I usually prefer briefs... 549 00:39:42,831 --> 00:39:45,265 ...for their security and peace of mind. 550 00:39:45,433 --> 00:39:47,765 Going free-bird is not exactly ideal. 551 00:39:48,103 --> 00:39:49,764 I don't like it. 552 00:40:05,654 --> 00:40:07,588 There must be 200 people here. 553 00:40:07,756 --> 00:40:10,850 Finding Krstic will be like finding a needle in a haystack. 554 00:40:19,768 --> 00:40:21,030 I'd love to dance. 555 00:40:21,203 --> 00:40:25,162 English? But you understand Russian? Very impressive. 556 00:40:25,840 --> 00:40:27,432 Shall we? 557 00:40:28,276 --> 00:40:29,971 I hope your date doesn't mind. 558 00:40:30,145 --> 00:40:32,045 Oh, he's not my date. 559 00:40:32,214 --> 00:40:35,377 He's just a local horse groomer I hired to drive me around. 560 00:40:35,550 --> 00:40:39,543 It's a tragic story. He's quite deaf. Really not bright. 561 00:40:40,488 --> 00:40:44,049 I am going to dance now. 562 00:40:44,359 --> 00:40:48,295 You go get yourself some punch. 563 00:40:49,531 --> 00:40:50,964 Okay. 564 00:40:52,200 --> 00:40:54,668 I don't even know how much gets through. 565 00:41:03,545 --> 00:41:05,035 Chief, I need your help. 566 00:41:05,213 --> 00:41:06,544 You're on. Go ahead. 567 00:41:06,715 --> 00:41:07,841 We have found Krstic. 568 00:41:08,016 --> 00:41:10,576 / searched his house. / can't find his computer network. 569 00:41:10,752 --> 00:41:12,380 Get me an infrared satellite scan. 570 00:41:12,554 --> 00:41:15,648 I have to get back to 99, she is in grave danger. 571 00:41:18,927 --> 00:41:20,827 Your house is so beautiful. 572 00:41:21,162 --> 00:41:23,562 It must be difficult to go to work. 573 00:41:24,566 --> 00:41:27,000 I don't have to go very far. 574 00:42:02,671 --> 00:42:04,400 I don't think so. 575 00:42:04,739 --> 00:42:06,297 I wasn't talking to you. 576 00:42:10,578 --> 00:42:11,602 Me? 577 00:42:13,381 --> 00:42:14,541 I don't know. 578 00:42:14,716 --> 00:42:16,274 It'll be fun. 579 00:42:16,685 --> 00:42:17,709 Trust me. 580 00:43:09,537 --> 00:43:11,334 You are so light on your feet. 581 00:43:11,506 --> 00:43:12,939 I recently lost 150 pounds. 582 00:43:13,274 --> 00:43:15,071 So did I. 583 00:43:15,243 --> 00:43:17,473 Isn't it great? I have so much more energy now. 584 00:43:17,645 --> 00:43:19,112 Me too. 585 00:44:25,847 --> 00:44:28,042 - Thanks for jumping. - No problem. 586 00:44:51,906 --> 00:44:53,931 Thank you for the lovely dance. 587 00:45:15,697 --> 00:45:17,562 Did you see anything while I was dancing? 588 00:45:17,732 --> 00:45:21,099 Just once, but I don't think you expected him to lift you so high. 589 00:45:22,470 --> 00:45:25,496 Anyway, I found out that the office is in the guest house. 590 00:45:25,673 --> 00:45:27,265 Really? How'd you do that? 591 00:45:27,442 --> 00:45:30,104 Show him a little d�colletage, cleavage, bat your eyes? 592 00:45:30,278 --> 00:45:32,269 I'm not judging, just detecting a pattern. 593 00:45:32,447 --> 00:45:34,813 - Ready to work? - I ' m ready to work. You ready? 594 00:45:34,983 --> 00:45:36,917 - Oh, my God. - You ' re just having fun showing your: 595 00:45:45,426 --> 00:45:47,690 Six guards. We are going to need another way in. 596 00:45:47,862 --> 00:45:50,023 Stand by, Max. Larabee, let's go. Move it. 597 00:45:50,465 --> 00:45:52,592 - What'd you do? - I can ' t find the right screen. 598 00:45:52,767 --> 00:45:54,962 It was here a second ago, then it went away. 599 00:45:55,136 --> 00:45:57,798 - What did you hit? - Don't yell at me. It's not helping! 600 00:45:57,972 --> 00:45:59,439 If you don't find that screen... 601 00:45:59,607 --> 00:46:02,542 ...I'm gonna have you hunting for land mines, with a hammer! 602 00:46:05,547 --> 00:46:07,538 Got it, Max. There is one other entrance. 603 00:46:07,715 --> 00:46:08,773 What kind of entrance? 604 00:46:08,950 --> 00:46:11,851 The kind where you'll wanna throw your shoes out afterwards. 605 00:46:12,520 --> 00:46:16,513 Oh, great, rats. It's not enough that there's poop. 606 00:46:16,691 --> 00:46:21,628 You know what, I never saw James Bond in rats or poop, let alone rats and poop. 607 00:46:22,497 --> 00:46:25,398 Look, a rat riding on a piece of poop. 608 00:46:25,567 --> 00:46:28,297 Stop it. It's just a storm drain. 609 00:46:32,574 --> 00:46:34,007 Here it is. 610 00:46:45,386 --> 00:46:49,015 Exploding dental floss. You don't have this? Hm. 611 00:46:58,600 --> 00:47:00,500 Three, two... 612 00:47:01,169 --> 00:47:02,193 ...one. 613 00:47:25,093 --> 00:47:26,720 Right. 614 00:47:32,567 --> 00:47:33,727 Come on. 615 00:47:50,885 --> 00:47:52,250 Are you staring at my butt? 616 00:47:53,121 --> 00:47:54,918 No, I am not. 617 00:47:55,089 --> 00:47:57,421 I might have been before, but I am- 618 00:47:57,592 --> 00:48:00,322 Now I am again. All right, I ' m stopping. 619 00:48:00,495 --> 00:48:03,555 Pay attention to what I'm doing, so that you can follow me exactly. 620 00:48:03,965 --> 00:48:05,227 Yep. 621 00:48:25,653 --> 00:48:27,917 Okay, Max. Little heads-up. 622 00:48:28,089 --> 00:48:31,149 High-intensity lasers. Whatever part of you does touch gets sliced. 623 00:48:31,325 --> 00:48:34,488 One more reason why boxers were a bad idea. 624 00:48:46,774 --> 00:48:49,174 All right, so do I have to do it exactly like that? 625 00:48:49,343 --> 00:48:50,537 Just come on. 626 00:49:04,258 --> 00:49:06,658 That's impressive. Wow. 627 00:49:08,963 --> 00:49:10,658 Careful, this one's tricky. 628 00:49:10,832 --> 00:49:12,299 Good. 629 00:49:12,467 --> 00:49:13,491 Very good. 630 00:49:15,703 --> 00:49:16,863 Okay, it's not that good. 631 00:49:36,557 --> 00:49:37,751 Max. Max. 632 00:49:37,992 --> 00:49:39,254 Stay calm. 633 00:49:41,162 --> 00:49:43,858 Max, keep it together. Keep it together. 634 00:49:44,899 --> 00:49:46,423 Max. Max. 635 00:49:48,002 --> 00:49:49,594 Careful! No, no. 636 00:49:49,771 --> 00:49:51,671 He's nibbling. That's not cheese! 637 00:49:53,474 --> 00:49:54,702 Max, be quiet! 638 00:50:03,017 --> 00:50:05,008 Okay, shall we? 639 00:50:43,457 --> 00:50:44,947 Did I hear something? 640 00:50:45,126 --> 00:50:48,396 Yes, there were some tap dancers in the hallway. 641 00:50:50,731 --> 00:50:53,825 Damn it. I can't get into their system. Biometric security. 642 00:50:54,001 --> 00:50:55,764 If you don ' t mind, 99... 643 00:51:00,975 --> 00:51:05,071 The old " steam sticks to everything but the oil from the last thumb print" trick. 644 00:51:05,246 --> 00:51:06,270 Here we go. 645 00:51:06,514 --> 00:51:09,745 - Shipments of explosives. - Your boyfriend is a very bad man. 646 00:51:09,917 --> 00:51:13,080 - And a really good kisser. - Ignoring that. 647 00:51:16,190 --> 00:51:18,920 Look at that shipment of detonators. It's a little odd. 648 00:51:19,093 --> 00:51:20,993 Well, he is a bomb-maker. 649 00:51:21,162 --> 00:51:24,359 No. What is odd is that it was shipped to a bakery in Moscow. 650 00:51:24,532 --> 00:51:27,092 These detonators can also be used for nuclear bombs. 651 00:51:27,268 --> 00:51:29,099 I think this is our connection to KAOS. 652 00:51:42,183 --> 00:51:43,707 I set that up. 653 00:51:54,528 --> 00:51:55,790 Let her go. 654 00:51:56,230 --> 00:51:57,629 No. 655 00:52:01,636 --> 00:52:05,128 I'm not totally incompetent without a gun, you know. 656 00:52:29,864 --> 00:52:30,990 Thanks for the help. 657 00:52:32,033 --> 00:52:34,558 That's enough. Pity. 658 00:52:35,202 --> 00:52:39,400 I'm about to shoot beautiful woman and her retard stable boy. 659 00:52:39,607 --> 00:52:40,631 And yet... 660 00:52:41,509 --> 00:52:43,704 ...I will sleep like baby. 661 00:52:49,684 --> 00:52:52,209 - Not bad for a rookie. - Not bad for an old lady. 662 00:53:02,897 --> 00:53:04,057 Siegfried here. 663 00:53:04,231 --> 00:53:06,358 How could you possibly screw this up? 664 00:53:06,534 --> 00:53:08,024 Krstic was a fool. 665 00:53:08,202 --> 00:53:10,932 - And they got lucky. - Who's that? Who's speaking? 666 00:53:11,105 --> 00:53:12,231 That's no one, sir. 667 00:53:12,406 --> 00:53:15,204 They're heading towards you. Don't disappoint me again. 668 00:53:15,376 --> 00:53:16,866 Don ' t worry, sir. They won ' t get pa- 669 00:53:18,612 --> 00:53:19,704 Why does he do that? 670 00:53:19,880 --> 00:53:21,745 Don't look at me. I'm no one. 671 00:53:21,916 --> 00:53:23,406 And don't you forget it. 672 00:53:23,718 --> 00:53:25,948 Everyone here can be replaced. 673 00:53:26,120 --> 00:53:27,781 I even have backup for you. 674 00:53:27,955 --> 00:53:29,946 It's called a rhinoceros. 675 00:53:55,783 --> 00:53:58,581 I think it's time to find new wheels. Pull over. 676 00:54:04,625 --> 00:54:06,991 I feel good about the mission so far, don't you? 677 00:54:07,161 --> 00:54:08,423 So far, sure. 678 00:54:08,596 --> 00:54:10,496 I think we work very well together. 679 00:54:10,664 --> 00:54:11,995 Like at the mansion. 680 00:54:12,166 --> 00:54:16,296 The way I held that guy's hair while you punched him in the throat. 681 00:54:16,470 --> 00:54:18,335 That was nice. 682 00:54:19,006 --> 00:54:20,030 Nice? 683 00:54:20,207 --> 00:54:21,868 Yeah, well, good teamwork. 684 00:54:22,043 --> 00:54:23,510 What are you doing? 685 00:54:23,677 --> 00:54:26,202 I'm just saying that I think we're very compatible. 686 00:54:26,380 --> 00:54:29,816 I think that you are confusing adrenaline with, I don't know... 687 00:54:29,984 --> 00:54:31,542 ...some other kind of hormone. 688 00:54:31,719 --> 00:54:34,119 - No. That's not- - Know what, Max? Just stop it. 689 00:54:35,289 --> 00:54:38,019 Let me give you a lesson that I had to learn the hard way. 690 00:54:38,192 --> 00:54:40,353 You can't trust anyone out here, not even me. 691 00:54:40,528 --> 00:54:43,224 I mean, you know, I could be a double agent. 692 00:54:43,798 --> 00:54:46,130 The break-in at CONTROL was probably an inside job. 693 00:54:46,300 --> 00:54:49,360 It happened just as I got back. How do you know that it wasn't me? 694 00:54:50,337 --> 00:54:52,897 - What are we talking about here? - Let's just find a car. 695 00:54:53,074 --> 00:54:55,736 Which one's gonna attract the least attention? 696 00:54:56,243 --> 00:54:59,838 All right, well, we have a couple Soviet-era sedans here... 697 00:55:00,014 --> 00:55:03,415 ...we have that tractor, that cart... 698 00:55:04,218 --> 00:55:06,413 ...and- That'll work. 699 00:55:07,421 --> 00:55:10,288 - No. - Yes. 700 00:55:10,458 --> 00:55:11,857 No. 701 00:55:12,193 --> 00:55:13,387 Yes. 702 00:55:17,031 --> 00:55:20,023 - Oh, yeah, we are really under the radar. - Will you relax? 703 00:55:20,201 --> 00:55:23,068 Since the fall of Communism, everybody has one of these here. 704 00:55:50,498 --> 00:55:52,261 There's our little KAOS bakery. 705 00:55:52,433 --> 00:55:55,561 I don't have to remind you, but this isn't like the last place. 706 00:55:55,736 --> 00:55:59,263 There's no party, there's no dancing. Everyone in there is a trained killer. 707 00:55:59,440 --> 00:56:01,305 Do you understand? Okay. 708 00:56:01,475 --> 00:56:03,943 Did they explain to you how your belt buckle works? 709 00:56:04,111 --> 00:56:07,137 No, but the technology for holding up pants hasn't changed much. 710 00:56:07,314 --> 00:56:09,282 - Max. - Hey, what? 711 00:56:09,750 --> 00:56:12,548 This one has a compartment. Inside there's a pill. 712 00:56:12,720 --> 00:56:15,780 If captured, it would cause death in nine seconds. 713 00:56:15,956 --> 00:56:16,980 Great. 714 00:56:17,525 --> 00:56:20,494 But how exactly do I get them to take it? 715 00:56:22,630 --> 00:56:26,532 - Not much of a laugher, are you? - Here. Put this on. 716 00:56:26,700 --> 00:56:28,099 - On what? - On your molar. 717 00:56:28,269 --> 00:56:31,397 It's a tooth radio. It sends sound up your jawbone, into your ear. 718 00:56:31,572 --> 00:56:35,736 I can ' t hear anything outside your mouth, so if you get in trouble, you have to say so. 719 00:56:35,910 --> 00:56:36,899 Is it working? 720 00:56:40,381 --> 00:56:42,246 - Is it working? - Yes. 721 00:56:42,416 --> 00:56:43,644 Good. 722 00:56:43,817 --> 00:56:44,841 Okay. 723 00:56:45,019 --> 00:56:47,715 Well, you know what to do. Good luck in there. 724 00:56:47,888 --> 00:56:49,549 You too. 725 00:57:17,718 --> 00:57:19,549 Free rugelach? 726 00:57:19,720 --> 00:57:22,484 No, thank you. I am here for something else. 727 00:57:22,823 --> 00:57:24,120 Bread? 728 00:57:24,291 --> 00:57:28,227 - Something hot. - We have rolls that just came out. 729 00:57:28,395 --> 00:57:31,023 Even hotter. Much, much hotter. 730 00:57:31,365 --> 00:57:33,526 I already have boyfriend. 731 00:57:34,335 --> 00:57:36,929 - All right- - Although, I could make exception. 732 00:57:37,104 --> 00:57:38,128 No, that's okay. 733 00:57:38,305 --> 00:57:41,502 Sure? Flour sacks in back, very comfortable. 734 00:57:41,675 --> 00:57:45,167 I don ' t think we are on the same page. 735 00:57:45,512 --> 00:57:49,471 I ' m here because Ladislas Krstic sent me. 736 00:57:49,650 --> 00:57:52,312 Ah. T ake number. 737 00:57:53,621 --> 00:57:55,689 But I ' m the only one here. 738 00:58:00,394 --> 00:58:02,021 Oh. 739 00:58:31,625 --> 00:58:32,922 Who are you? 740 00:58:33,093 --> 00:58:35,789 My name is Nudnik Shpilkes. Who are you? 741 00:58:35,963 --> 00:58:38,557 - I am Siegfried. - Did you say Siegfried? 742 00:58:39,900 --> 00:58:40,889 Max! 743 00:58:41,135 --> 00:58:42,159 Yes. 744 00:58:42,336 --> 00:58:44,236 I understand that you're the man to see... 745 00:58:44,405 --> 00:58:47,465 ...if someone is interested in acquiring items of a nuclear nature. 746 00:58:47,641 --> 00:58:51,202 - How do I know you're not CONTROL? - If I were CONTROL, you'd already be dead. 747 00:58:51,378 --> 00:58:53,312 If you were CONTROL, you'd be dead. 748 00:58:53,480 --> 00:58:57,439 Well, neither of us is dead, so I'm obviously not from CONTROL. 749 00:59:01,147 --> 00:59:03,138 That actually makes sense. 750 00:59:04,483 --> 00:59:07,543 Follow me, Mr. Shpilkes. 751 00:59:13,759 --> 00:59:15,784 Test. Test. 752 00:59:18,998 --> 00:59:21,796 Ah. The "Ode to Joy" from Beethoven's Ninth. 753 00:59:21,967 --> 00:59:25,960 Stone deaf when he wrote it. Syphilis. Fun stuff. 754 00:59:26,605 --> 00:59:31,133 Yes, a personal favorite. A bit familiar, but it ends with a bang. 755 00:59:32,478 --> 00:59:33,968 You're doing great, Max. 756 00:59:34,180 --> 00:59:38,207 What I'm about to show you is the inner sanctum of our entire operation. 757 00:59:38,384 --> 00:59:40,909 The inner sanctum of the entire operation? 758 00:59:44,790 --> 00:59:45,848 Yes. 759 00:59:54,734 --> 00:59:56,201 This is it? 760 00:59:56,368 --> 00:59:57,801 Of course not. I lied. 761 00:59:57,970 --> 00:59:59,267 He does that. 762 00:59:59,438 --> 01:00:02,407 I'm going to kill you, and then I'm going to kill your partner. 763 01:00:02,575 --> 01:00:04,338 I don't know who you're talking about. 764 01:00:09,548 --> 01:00:13,143 Ah. Mrs. Shpilkes must be lost. 765 01:00:13,319 --> 01:00:16,584 I think it's only fair to warn you, this facility is surrounded... 766 01:00:16,756 --> 01:00:19,657 ...by a highly trained team of 130 Black Op snipers. 767 01:00:19,825 --> 01:00:21,793 - I don't believe you. - Would you believe... 768 01:00:21,961 --> 01:00:23,952 ...two dozen Delta Force commandos? 769 01:00:24,130 --> 01:00:26,655 - No. - How about Chuck Norris with a BB gun? 770 01:00:27,233 --> 01:00:28,666 Goodbye, Mr. Smart. 771 01:00:31,337 --> 01:00:35,034 Well, Mr. Shtarker, I think you've underestimated me... 772 01:00:35,207 --> 01:00:37,198 ...and the element of surpr-! 773 01:00:47,286 --> 01:00:50,016 99, we've been compromised. Get out. 774 01:01:09,909 --> 01:01:11,604 Access denied. 775 01:01:41,440 --> 01:01:43,965 Access denied. Access denied. 776 01:01:44,143 --> 01:01:46,611 Access denied. 777 01:01:59,658 --> 01:02:00,682 Max, where are you? 778 01:02:00,860 --> 01:02:03,090 99, I found the yellowcake. 779 01:02:03,262 --> 01:02:04,923 Of course you did, it's a bakery. 780 01:02:05,097 --> 01:02:07,759 No, not yellow " cake" cake, yellowcake uranium. 781 01:02:07,933 --> 01:02:12,427 Although there is yellow " cake" cake here as well. 782 01:02:13,272 --> 01:02:14,534 Oh, Max. 783 01:02:42,268 --> 01:02:43,895 Max, do you read-? 784 01:02:44,069 --> 01:02:45,331 99!