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(THEME MUSIC IN
VIDEOGAME TONE)
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DVDRip made by ForsakeN
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(NARRATOR READING)
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KIM: Scott Pilgrim is
dating a high-schooler?
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Really? Is she hot?
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How old are you now,
Scott? Like, 28?
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I'm not playing your
little games, kids.
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00:00:46,445 --> 00:00:48,845
So, you've been out of high
school for, like, 13 years.
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I'm 22. Twenty-two.
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And you're dating a high-school
girl. Not bad, not bad.
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Thank you, thank you.
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So, did you guys, like,
you know, do it yet?
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We have done many things.
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We ride the bus together.
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And we have meaningful conversations
about how yearbook club went
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and about her friends
and, you know, drama.
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STEPHEN: Have you
even kissed her?
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We almost held hands once,
but then she got embarrassed.
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Well, aren't you
pleased as punch.
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I don't know what
you're talking about.
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So, what's her name?
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Knives Chau.
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She's Chinese.
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Wicked.
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So, when do we
get to meet her?
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Oh, please,
let it be soon.
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(DOORBELL RINGS)
That's for me.
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Hi.
You promise to be good?
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Of course I'll be good.
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Seriously,
please be good.
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Am I normally not?
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Hey, Knives, this is Stephen
Stills. He's the talent.
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Hey.
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Is she gonna
geek out on us?
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She'll just sit
in the corner, man.
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I mean, I want her
to geek out on us.
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She'll geek. She geeks.
She has the capacity to geek.
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Okay.
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You're good.
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Wow.
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Here, let me
get your coat.
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Hi.
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00:02:09,628 --> 00:02:11,095
Knives, that's Kim.
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Sorry,
what was your name?
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Kim.
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And you play the drums?
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Yes.
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That is so awesome.
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00:02:20,306 --> 00:02:21,933
Knives, that's Young Neil.
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Hi.
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00:02:23,742 --> 00:02:24,970
Hi.
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00:02:25,110 --> 00:02:26,839
What do you play?
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00:02:27,880 --> 00:02:33,614
Wow, Zelda, Tetris.
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That's kind of
a big question.
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Okay, let's start
with Launchpad McQuack.
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That's not
the actual title of the...
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We are Sex Bob-Omb!
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One, two, three, four!
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(ROCK MUSIC PLAYING)
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(SINGING)
Yeah, yeah
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Yeah, yeah
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Laminate the stasis
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Mama, mama serpentine
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I got a breathalyzer
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And my body's clean
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Yeah! Yeah!
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Thank you!
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(STEPHEN WHOOPS)
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(STEPHEN VOCALIZING)
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Get ready
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Yeah
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Yeah, yeah
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Yeah, yeah
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Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah
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Yeah!
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You guys are so
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amazing.
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She seems nice.
Yeah.
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Yeah, she seems awesome.
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Yeah.
(WHISTLES)
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00:04:54,526 --> 00:04:57,017
Scott, if your life had
a face, I would punch it.
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Yeah. Wait, what?
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I mean, are you really happy
or are you really evil?
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00:05:02,835 --> 00:05:04,598
Like, do I have ulterior
motives or something?
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I'm offended, Kim.
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Wounded, even?
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00:05:07,639 --> 00:05:08,697
Hurt, Kim.
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You? Hurt?
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00:05:11,477 --> 00:05:13,741
Neil, you were saying
about "she seems awesome.' '
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00:05:14,112 --> 00:05:15,511
Yeah, she seems awesome.
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00:05:15,581 --> 00:05:16,843
Yeah.
(WHISTLES)
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Before you hear some dirty
lies from someone else,
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yes, I'm dating
a 17-year-old.
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Oh, is he cute?
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(LAUGHS SARCASTICALLY)
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Does this mean we have
to stop sleeping together?
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You see another bed in here?
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Yeah. You're totally
my bitch forever.
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So, the whole 17-year-old thing,
don't tell too many people.
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Hey, you know me.
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I mean, don't tell my sister.
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You know me.
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Who are you texting?
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(PHONE RINGING)
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Seventeen years old?
Scandal!
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That's not true.
Who told you?
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Wallace. Duh.
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That gossipy bitch.
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You know me.
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Wallace!
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Who is this
mystery child you date?
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Her name's Knives Chau.
She's Chinese.
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A 17-year-old Chinese
schoolgirl? You're ridiculous.
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It's a Catholic school, too.
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With the uniform
and everything?
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Yeah. The whole deal.
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Oh, my God.
You guys haven't...
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No, no, no, no. We haven't
even held hands yet.
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I think she hugged me once.
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Scott,
why are you doing this?
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I don't know. It's just nice,
you know? It's just simple.
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It's been over a year
since you got dumped
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by She-Who-Will-Not-Be-Named.
So...
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Are you
legitimately moving on
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or is this just
you being insane?
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Can I get back
to you on that?
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(SCHOOL BELL RINGING)
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I do not wanna
be here at all.
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This school
has boys, too.
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00:06:52,544 --> 00:06:56,640
I hate you. Even I would think
twice about dating a 17-year-old.
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Well, she's only
allowed out
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when the sun is up,
so I wouldn't call it dating.
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It's more like...
Playtime?
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00:07:02,521 --> 00:07:04,182
That doesn't sound so good, either. No.
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KNIVES: Scott!
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00:07:05,857 --> 00:07:06,846
SCOTT: Hey, Knives.
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00:07:06,925 --> 00:07:09,018
This is my cool, gay
roommate, Wallace Wells.
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00:07:09,094 --> 00:07:10,254
Hi.
He's gay.
139
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Oh, do you wanna know
who in my class is gay?
140
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Yes, does he wear glasses?
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Wallace, you go now. Begone.
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You're too good
for him. Run.
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(CHUCKLES)
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ANNOUNCER: Get ready!
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Here we go!
146
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Did you know that the original
name for Pac-Man was Puck-Man?
147
00:07:36,154 --> 00:07:37,985
You'd think it was because
he looks like a hockey puck,
148
00:07:38,056 --> 00:07:40,490
but it actually comes from the
Japanese phrase "paku-paku,"
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00:07:40,559 --> 00:07:42,288
which means, "to flap one's
mouth open and closed.' '
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00:07:44,029 --> 00:07:45,121
They changed it
because they thought that
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"Puck-Man" would be
too easy to vandalize.
152
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You know,
people could just scratch off
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00:07:48,233 --> 00:07:49,860
the "P" and turn it
into an "F" or whatever.
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Oh, my God! Like, wow!
155
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ELECTRONIC VOICE: Combo!
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Yeah. Wow.
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Continue?
158
00:08:00,779 --> 00:08:06,149
Nine, eight, seven,
six, five, four,
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00:08:06,218 --> 00:08:07,549
three...
Oh, I got it.
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00:08:07,619 --> 00:08:08,847
... two, one.
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00:08:09,254 --> 00:08:11,017
(INAUDIBLE)
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KNIVES: I don't listen
to that much music.
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00:08:14,793 --> 00:08:17,921
I mean, I know a lot of kids who play
piano or whatever, but you guys...
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You guys rock.
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00:08:20,666 --> 00:08:22,190
Well, I knew
I personally rocked,
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but I never suspected
that we rocked as a unit.
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So, thank you, Knives.
168
00:08:26,171 --> 00:08:28,435
I mean, you guys
are gonna be huge.
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00:08:28,874 --> 00:08:30,273
Well, we're already
pretty big,
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00:08:30,342 --> 00:08:31,866
but, yeah, I guess
it'd be cool
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00:08:31,943 --> 00:08:34,173
if cool people started wearing
our T-shirt or whatever.
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Cool.
Yeah, yeah.
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Excuse me, do you have anything
by The Clash at Demonhead?
174
00:08:39,451 --> 00:08:42,887
Have you tried the section
marked "The Clash at Demonhead"?
175
00:08:42,954 --> 00:08:44,421
Thank you, Julie.
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00:08:44,556 --> 00:08:46,046
Are you coming
to my party Friday,
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or will you be
busy babysitting?
178
00:08:49,561 --> 00:08:51,756
Thank you, Julie.
179
00:08:51,830 --> 00:08:53,388
You don't want
to listen to her.
180
00:08:53,899 --> 00:08:56,265
And you definitely don't
want to listen to them.
181
00:08:56,334 --> 00:08:58,029
Oh, I heart them so much.
182
00:08:58,103 --> 00:09:01,630
Yeah, I hearted them, too, until
they signed to a major label,
183
00:09:01,707 --> 00:09:05,438
and the lead singer turned into a
total bitch and ruined my life forever.
184
00:09:05,510 --> 00:09:07,034
But that's just me.
185
00:09:07,112 --> 00:09:10,548
Envy Adams is so cool.
Do you read her blog?
186
00:09:10,615 --> 00:09:12,173
Sorry, you were
saying about me?
187
00:09:12,250 --> 00:09:15,185
I mean, I've never gone
out with anyone so talented.
188
00:09:15,420 --> 00:09:16,580
Go out with
a lot of guys?
189
00:09:16,655 --> 00:09:17,644
No.
190
00:09:17,856 --> 00:09:20,051
Yeah, so, whatever, man.
191
00:09:20,125 --> 00:09:21,990
I've never even
kissed a guy.
192
00:09:25,831 --> 00:09:27,025
Hey,
193
00:09:27,833 --> 00:09:29,061
me, neither.
194
00:09:40,879 --> 00:09:42,710
Here you go.
195
00:09:42,781 --> 00:09:44,146
So, this is
your secret lair?
196
00:09:44,216 --> 00:09:45,945
Yeah, yeah.
Can I come in?
197
00:09:46,451 --> 00:09:49,011
My secret lair
is one of those
198
00:09:49,087 --> 00:09:50,850
"No girls allowed"- type
deals.
199
00:09:51,089 --> 00:09:52,181
Okay.
200
00:09:52,257 --> 00:09:53,747
But do you wanna see the
house where I grew up?
201
00:09:53,825 --> 00:09:55,417
Sure!
Come on.
202
00:09:57,662 --> 00:09:58,686
There you go.
203
00:10:00,198 --> 00:10:01,495
Wow.
204
00:10:01,867 --> 00:10:02,856
Yeah.
205
00:10:03,902 --> 00:10:05,199
Wow.
206
00:10:12,744 --> 00:10:14,211
Oh, God.
207
00:10:16,848 --> 00:10:18,475
So alone.
208
00:10:20,152 --> 00:10:21,517
You're not alone.
209
00:10:21,753 --> 00:10:23,015
What?
210
00:10:23,088 --> 00:10:25,818
You're just having
some idiotic dream.
211
00:10:26,825 --> 00:10:28,486
Does that mean
we can make out?
212
00:10:28,560 --> 00:10:30,357
Oh, God!
213
00:10:30,428 --> 00:10:31,452
What is it, Scott?
214
00:10:31,530 --> 00:10:32,690
I had this
totally weird dream.
215
00:10:32,764 --> 00:10:33,992
Oh, God.
216
00:10:34,065 --> 00:10:35,293
What is it,
Other Scott?
217
00:10:35,433 --> 00:10:38,698
Can we skip the dreamtime?
Color me not interested.
218
00:10:38,770 --> 00:10:40,032
But there was this girl.
219
00:10:40,172 --> 00:10:41,434
Girl?
220
00:10:41,506 --> 00:10:42,996
Was this
an Envy-related dream?
221
00:10:43,074 --> 00:10:44,666
We don't use
the E-word in this house.
222
00:10:44,743 --> 00:10:47,803
No, it wasn't her.
It was somebody new.
223
00:10:47,879 --> 00:10:49,870
Yay for that.
224
00:10:49,948 --> 00:10:51,142
Speaking of new,
225
00:10:51,216 --> 00:10:53,116
weren't you supposed to take
your fake high-school girlfriend
226
00:10:53,185 --> 00:10:54,777
to the library
a half-hour ago?
227
00:10:55,120 --> 00:10:57,350
What? It's like 6:00
in the morning.
228
00:10:57,989 --> 00:10:59,115
(SCREAMS)
229
00:11:00,458 --> 00:11:01,550
MAN: Shh!
230
00:11:01,927 --> 00:11:03,224
It's weird.
231
00:11:03,295 --> 00:11:04,853
What's weird?
232
00:11:04,930 --> 00:11:07,694
Libraries remind me
of grade school.
233
00:11:07,766 --> 00:11:10,200
That must seem like
a really long time ago.
234
00:11:10,268 --> 00:11:12,896
Yeah, let's talk
about something else.
235
00:11:32,190 --> 00:11:33,487
Do you know that girl?
236
00:11:35,060 --> 00:11:36,493
Scott!
What?
237
00:11:36,962 --> 00:11:39,362
You only played one note
for that entire song.
238
00:11:40,365 --> 00:11:41,457
My hand slipped.
239
00:11:41,533 --> 00:11:43,262
Is your girlfriend
distracting you?
240
00:11:43,401 --> 00:11:45,130
My girlfriend?
241
00:11:45,203 --> 00:11:46,534
I'll be quieter.
242
00:11:47,672 --> 00:11:48,900
Let's do that one again.
243
00:11:49,040 --> 00:11:50,268
Sorry, what are we doing?
244
00:11:50,342 --> 00:11:51,673
I told you, like, 50 times!
245
00:11:51,743 --> 00:11:53,574
We're going
to this party, retard.
246
00:11:53,645 --> 00:11:55,806
Party?
At Julie's.
247
00:11:55,881 --> 00:11:56,905
I thought
you guys split up.
248
00:11:56,982 --> 00:11:59,450
We did, but there might be some
label guys there, so, you know...
249
00:11:59,517 --> 00:12:01,417
Oh, man, this is gonna suck. Suck!
250
00:12:01,486 --> 00:12:03,647
At least it'll give us
something to complain about.
251
00:12:03,722 --> 00:12:04,814
Oh, man!
252
00:12:04,890 --> 00:12:06,016
This sucks!
253
00:12:06,091 --> 00:12:07,183
Sucks!
254
00:12:07,259 --> 00:12:10,285
I'm gonna go pee
due to boredom.
255
00:12:11,396 --> 00:12:12,863
I have to pee.
256
00:12:12,931 --> 00:12:14,523
You know, so I told him
you've got a really good sound,
257
00:12:14,599 --> 00:12:16,066
and I think that you
should market your sound
258
00:12:16,134 --> 00:12:18,625
to deaf people, because... Scott! Hey!
259
00:12:18,703 --> 00:12:19,692
Hey, Comeau.
260
00:12:19,771 --> 00:12:21,602
How about this party? You
getting your drink on here?
261
00:12:21,673 --> 00:12:23,504
No, I don't drink.
This is just Coke Zero.
262
00:12:23,575 --> 00:12:24,872
What do you mean,
you don't drink?
263
00:12:24,943 --> 00:12:27,309
I distinctly remember you being very
drunk off a couple of G-and-T's...
264
00:12:27,379 --> 00:12:28,744
Hey, Comeau,
you know everyone, right?
265
00:12:28,813 --> 00:12:30,872
Yeah, pretty much, I do.
266
00:12:31,149 --> 00:12:32,639
You know this one girl
with hair like this?
267
00:12:32,717 --> 00:12:34,150
Yes, that's Ramona Flowers.
268
00:12:34,219 --> 00:12:36,210
Somebody said she was gonna
be here tonight, actually.
269
00:12:36,288 --> 00:12:37,585
What?
Oh, Scott.
270
00:12:37,656 --> 00:12:39,783
You have the hots for her or
something? I gotta tell you though,
271
00:12:39,858 --> 00:12:41,291
I hear that she's
a little hardcore.
272
00:13:04,149 --> 00:13:05,138
(ALL CHATTERING)
273
00:13:23,034 --> 00:13:24,331
Hey, what's up?
274
00:13:24,769 --> 00:13:25,758
Nothing.
275
00:13:25,837 --> 00:13:27,168
Hey, you know Pac-Man?
276
00:13:27,238 --> 00:13:28,728
I know of him.
277
00:13:29,007 --> 00:13:32,374
Well, Pac-Man was
originally called Puck-Man.
278
00:13:33,311 --> 00:13:34,972
They changed it because...
279
00:13:35,046 --> 00:13:37,173
Not because Pac-Man looks
like a hockey puck.
280
00:13:37,248 --> 00:13:39,682
"Paku-paku" means
"flap your mouth,"
281
00:13:39,751 --> 00:13:42,311
and that they were afraid
people would change...
282
00:13:42,387 --> 00:13:46,187
Scratch out the "P" and
turn it into an "F," like...
283
00:13:46,992 --> 00:13:48,323
(CHUCKLES NERVOUSLY)
284
00:13:48,393 --> 00:13:50,054
Yeah, that's amazing.
285
00:13:50,628 --> 00:13:51,617
Um...
286
00:13:52,831 --> 00:13:53,991
Am I dreaming?
287
00:13:56,568 --> 00:13:58,058
I'll leave you alone
forever now.
288
00:13:58,136 --> 00:13:59,194
Thanks.
289
00:14:06,711 --> 00:14:07,735
Dude!
What?
290
00:14:07,812 --> 00:14:09,074
She's totally real!
Who?
291
00:14:09,147 --> 00:14:10,705
Ramona Flowers.
What?
292
00:14:10,782 --> 00:14:12,841
Dude! What do you know
about Ramona Flowers?
293
00:14:12,917 --> 00:14:14,578
All I know is
that she is American.
294
00:14:14,652 --> 00:14:15,710
American.
295
00:14:15,787 --> 00:14:17,220
Why don't you go talk
to Sandra and Monique?
296
00:14:17,288 --> 00:14:18,346
They know a lot more.
297
00:14:18,423 --> 00:14:20,550
Lady-dudes. What do you
know about Ramona Flowers?
298
00:14:20,625 --> 00:14:21,922
I heard she has
a boyfriend.
299
00:14:21,993 --> 00:14:23,392
Yeah. Some guy
back in New York.
300
00:14:23,628 --> 00:14:25,186
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
What else?
301
00:14:25,263 --> 00:14:27,697
I heard she kicks
all kinds of ass.
302
00:14:27,766 --> 00:14:30,291
She's on another level.
303
00:14:30,368 --> 00:14:32,268
She has men
dying at her feet.
304
00:14:32,337 --> 00:14:34,965
She's got some
battle scars, dude.
305
00:14:35,073 --> 00:14:36,563
What about Ramona Flowers?
306
00:14:36,641 --> 00:14:37,630
You know her?
Tell me now.
307
00:14:37,709 --> 00:14:38,698
She just moved here.
308
00:14:38,777 --> 00:14:40,335
Got a job at Amazon.
Comes into my work.
309
00:14:40,412 --> 00:14:41,401
Does she really?
310
00:14:41,479 --> 00:14:43,140
Didn't you say she just
broke up with someone?
311
00:14:43,214 --> 00:14:44,272
Did she really?
312
00:14:44,349 --> 00:14:45,611
They had a huge fight,
or whatever.
313
00:14:45,683 --> 00:14:46,672
Did they really?
314
00:14:46,751 --> 00:14:49,151
Yes! But I didn't want Scott
to know that, Stephen.
315
00:14:49,220 --> 00:14:51,188
Yeah, I don't know what
it is about that girl.
316
00:14:51,256 --> 00:14:53,451
Scott, I forbid you
from hitting on Ramona,
317
00:14:53,525 --> 00:14:55,652
even if you haven't had a
real girlfriend in over a year.
318
00:14:55,727 --> 00:14:56,751
(EXHALES SHARPLY)
319
00:14:56,828 --> 00:14:59,956
Hey! Whoa, whoa, whoa! Scott's
mourning period is officially over.
320
00:15:00,398 --> 00:15:01,990
He's totally dating
a high-schooler.
321
00:15:02,067 --> 00:15:04,035
Dating a high-schooler
is the mourning period.
322
00:15:04,102 --> 00:15:05,262
She's got a point.
323
00:15:05,336 --> 00:15:06,428
I thought
you guys broke up.
324
00:15:06,504 --> 00:15:09,268
I don't want you scaring off the
coolest girl at my party, Scott.
325
00:15:09,340 --> 00:15:11,900
We all know you're a total
lady-killer wannabe, jerky-jerk.
326
00:15:11,976 --> 00:15:13,443
That's completely untrue.
327
00:15:13,511 --> 00:15:15,308
That time with Lisa?
That was a misunderstanding.
328
00:15:15,380 --> 00:15:17,314
That time with Hollie? That
wasn't what it looked like.
329
00:15:17,382 --> 00:15:18,440
That time you
dumped Kim for...
330
00:15:18,516 --> 00:15:20,279
Okay. Me and Kim are
all good now, all right?
331
00:15:22,053 --> 00:15:25,113
Whatever! Ramona's out of your
league. Let's just leave it at that.
332
00:15:25,190 --> 00:15:27,488
Besides, I'm not even sure
she did have a big breakup.
333
00:15:27,559 --> 00:15:29,720
She keeps mentioning
some guy named Gideon.
334
00:15:29,794 --> 00:15:31,261
Yeah, I don't know what
it is about that girl.
335
00:15:31,429 --> 00:15:32,657
Forget it, Scott!
336
00:15:32,864 --> 00:15:33,922
(ALL EXCLAIM)
337
00:15:36,334 --> 00:15:38,063
Guess who's drunk?
338
00:15:38,703 --> 00:15:40,364
I guess Wallace.
339
00:15:41,172 --> 00:15:42,230
You guess right.
340
00:15:45,910 --> 00:15:47,275
So, that girl
from my dream...
341
00:15:47,345 --> 00:15:48,642
Girl. Okay.
342
00:15:48,713 --> 00:15:50,146
I saw her at the library.
343
00:15:50,215 --> 00:15:52,843
Library. Can I pretend
we're talking about a guy?
344
00:15:52,917 --> 00:15:55,784
And then I'm at this party
and, hey, there she is.
345
00:15:55,854 --> 00:15:57,116
Hey, there he is.
346
00:15:57,188 --> 00:15:58,177
I think she's...
347
00:15:58,256 --> 00:15:59,280
I think he's...
348
00:15:59,357 --> 00:16:01,518
I think she's
the girl of my dreams.
349
00:16:01,593 --> 00:16:02,582
Mmm.
350
00:16:02,760 --> 00:16:05,058
Then you should break up with
your fake high-school girlfriend.
351
00:16:05,130 --> 00:16:06,859
I've never been
so sure about something.
352
00:16:06,931 --> 00:16:09,422
Then you should break up with
your fake high-school girlfriend.
353
00:16:09,767 --> 00:16:10,791
What's that?
354
00:16:10,869 --> 00:16:13,838
You should break up with your
fake high-school girlfriend.
355
00:16:13,905 --> 00:16:15,236
I'm not getting it, friend.
356
00:16:15,306 --> 00:16:16,295
(PHONE RINGING)
357
00:16:17,008 --> 00:16:18,236
You're thinking of
juggling two chicks?
358
00:16:18,309 --> 00:16:19,367
Not even!
359
00:16:19,444 --> 00:16:21,776
Well, you should break up with
your fake high-school girlfriend.
360
00:16:21,846 --> 00:16:22,904
Wait, who told you?
361
00:16:22,981 --> 00:16:24,278
Wallace. Duh!
362
00:16:24,349 --> 00:16:26,078
He's not even conscious.
Whatever.
363
00:16:26,151 --> 00:16:29,086
You of all people should know
how sucky it is to get cheated on.
364
00:16:29,154 --> 00:16:30,314
Don't you have
a job to do?
365
00:16:30,388 --> 00:16:33,152
You're right. I should send
out a mass text about this. Bye.
366
00:16:35,493 --> 00:16:36,551
(SNORING)
367
00:16:36,628 --> 00:16:38,323
Wallace,
how do you do that?
368
00:16:38,396 --> 00:16:39,693
SCOTT: Wallace!
369
00:16:40,598 --> 00:16:42,623
Amazon. Ca,
what's the website for that?
370
00:16:43,034 --> 00:16:45,161
"Amazon. Ca.' '
371
00:16:45,236 --> 00:16:47,534
I have to order
something really cool.
372
00:16:47,605 --> 00:16:49,266
ELECTRONIC VOICE:
You've got mail.
373
00:16:49,340 --> 00:16:50,739
Dude, this thing
claims I have mail.
374
00:16:51,042 --> 00:16:53,306
It's amazing what we can do
with computers these days.
375
00:16:53,578 --> 00:16:54,840
Dude, now I'm reading it.
376
00:16:54,913 --> 00:16:56,278
So happy for you.
377
00:16:56,948 --> 00:16:58,916
"Dear Mr. Pilgrim, it
has come to my attention
378
00:16:58,983 --> 00:17:00,314
"that we will be
fighting soon.
379
00:17:00,385 --> 00:17:03,411
"My name is Matthew Patel,
and... ' ' Blah, blah, blah...
380
00:17:04,088 --> 00:17:08,650
"Fair warning... Mano y mano...
Seven evil... ' ' Blah, blah.
381
00:17:09,360 --> 00:17:14,525
This is...
This is... This is...
382
00:17:14,799 --> 00:17:15,959
What?
383
00:17:16,034 --> 00:17:17,934
This is boring.
384
00:17:18,369 --> 00:17:19,996
Delete.
385
00:17:23,942 --> 00:17:24,966
Scott,
386
00:17:25,910 --> 00:17:28,401
are you waiting for the
package you just ordered?
387
00:17:28,880 --> 00:17:30,108
Maybe.
388
00:17:30,181 --> 00:17:33,241
It's the weekend. It won't ship
until Monday at the earliest.
389
00:17:33,318 --> 00:17:34,751
(DOORBELL RINGS)
You were saying?
390
00:17:35,887 --> 00:17:36,945
Attack hug!
Hey!
391
00:17:37,021 --> 00:17:40,081
Attack hug. That's so cute. So cute.
392
00:17:40,158 --> 00:17:41,147
You don't remember?
393
00:17:41,226 --> 00:17:43,820
You're supposed to meet me at
the bus stop a half-hour ago.
394
00:17:44,295 --> 00:17:45,557
How could I
possibly forget?
395
00:17:48,233 --> 00:17:50,030
Yearbook club
is so boring.
396
00:17:50,101 --> 00:17:52,365
I cannot believe the music
they put on while we work.
397
00:17:52,437 --> 00:17:53,461
That's sucky.
398
00:17:53,538 --> 00:17:56,701
Hannah broke up with Alan
and now she's all into Derek.
399
00:17:56,774 --> 00:17:59,072
But then Tamara claims
she has dibs on Derek.
400
00:17:59,143 --> 00:18:00,167
I tell you.
401
00:18:01,879 --> 00:18:02,937
ELECTRONIC VOICE: Bad!
402
00:18:03,715 --> 00:18:04,807
Bad!
403
00:18:05,483 --> 00:18:06,609
Bad!
404
00:18:07,819 --> 00:18:08,877
Bad!
405
00:18:09,654 --> 00:18:10,678
Bad!
406
00:18:10,755 --> 00:18:12,950
Okay. I'm sorry,
that was all me.
407
00:18:13,091 --> 00:18:14,353
Solo round!
408
00:18:15,226 --> 00:18:16,215
Uh-oh.
409
00:18:16,694 --> 00:18:17,820
Nega ninja.
410
00:18:17,895 --> 00:18:19,385
Nega ninja!
411
00:18:19,731 --> 00:18:20,789
I can never get
past that guy.
412
00:18:22,300 --> 00:18:23,858
Don't beat
yourself up about it.
413
00:18:23,935 --> 00:18:25,129
Game over!
414
00:18:25,203 --> 00:18:27,501
Do you want
to keep going?
415
00:18:27,572 --> 00:18:29,972
Continue? Nine, eight,
416
00:18:30,041 --> 00:18:33,101
seven, six, five...
I think...
417
00:18:33,177 --> 00:18:34,235
... four, three...
418
00:18:34,312 --> 00:18:35,643
I think that we should...
419
00:18:35,713 --> 00:18:37,647
... two, one.
420
00:18:45,089 --> 00:18:47,455
Game on, everybody.
Game on.
421
00:18:47,692 --> 00:18:48,852
I got us a show.
422
00:18:48,926 --> 00:18:50,188
Oh, my gosh, when?
423
00:18:50,328 --> 00:18:51,590
Wednesday.
424
00:18:51,663 --> 00:18:54,325
The Rockit. And even
better, it's the T.I.B.B.
425
00:18:54,399 --> 00:18:55,388
Whoa!
426
00:18:55,466 --> 00:18:56,990
The Toronto International
Battle of the Bands?
427
00:18:57,068 --> 00:18:58,057
That's right.
428
00:18:58,136 --> 00:19:00,696
This guy at work was like, "Steve,
you know anybody in a band?"
429
00:19:00,772 --> 00:19:02,501
And I was like,
"I'm in a band.' '
430
00:19:02,573 --> 00:19:04,234
And he was like,
"You're in a band?"
431
00:19:04,309 --> 00:19:06,641
And I was like, "Yeah,
I am totally in a band.' '
432
00:19:06,711 --> 00:19:07,803
Great story, man.
433
00:19:07,879 --> 00:19:09,244
Is there a prize
or something?
434
00:19:09,580 --> 00:19:11,741
Only a record deal
with G-Man Graves.
435
00:19:12,450 --> 00:19:14,281
Who's that?
You don't know?
436
00:19:14,352 --> 00:19:16,149
Indie producer
of the millennium.
437
00:19:16,387 --> 00:19:17,376
Oh. (CHUCKLES)
438
00:19:17,522 --> 00:19:22,255
If we win, it won't just be
Knives wearing Sex Bob-Omb shirts.
439
00:19:22,327 --> 00:19:24,921
It'll be the cool kids, too.
440
00:19:24,996 --> 00:19:26,020
I promise
441
00:19:26,097 --> 00:19:29,863
I will do everything I can to get
out of the study group and come.
442
00:19:30,768 --> 00:19:32,497
I have to pee.
443
00:19:32,570 --> 00:19:34,162
Oh, my gosh,
who are you battling?
444
00:19:34,772 --> 00:19:35,932
STEPHEN:
Crash and the Boys.
445
00:19:36,007 --> 00:19:38,737
NEIL: That one band
with Crash, and those boys?
446
00:19:38,810 --> 00:19:39,970
KIM: Yeah, that's the one.
447
00:19:40,044 --> 00:19:41,204
NEIL: I hate them.
448
00:19:41,279 --> 00:19:42,576
KNIVES: Oh, my gosh,
I hate them, too.
449
00:19:42,647 --> 00:19:43,671
STEPHEN: Yeah, they suck.
450
00:19:43,748 --> 00:19:44,737
NEIL: They suck bad.
451
00:19:48,720 --> 00:19:49,846
(URINATING)
452
00:19:51,255 --> 00:19:52,381
(TOILET FLUSHES)
453
00:20:11,843 --> 00:20:13,208
Hey!
454
00:20:22,587 --> 00:20:23,713
Hey!
455
00:20:27,358 --> 00:20:28,347
(DOORBELL RINGS)
456
00:20:28,526 --> 00:20:29,959
Uh, Scott Pilgrim?
457
00:20:30,027 --> 00:20:31,654
Hi, I was thinking
about asking you out,
458
00:20:31,729 --> 00:20:33,492
but then I realized
how stupid that would be.
459
00:20:33,765 --> 00:20:35,096
So, do you want
to go out sometime?
460
00:20:35,900 --> 00:20:38,266
No, that's okay. You can
just sign for this, all right?
461
00:20:38,336 --> 00:20:40,304
I just woke up, and you were in my dream.
462
00:20:40,371 --> 00:20:43,204
I dreamt that you were delivering
me this package. Is that weird?
463
00:20:43,441 --> 00:20:44,533
It's not weird at all.
464
00:20:44,609 --> 00:20:45,633
It's not?
465
00:20:45,710 --> 00:20:47,007
No, it's just that you
have this really convenient
466
00:20:47,078 --> 00:20:49,103
subspace highway running through
your head that I like to use.
467
00:20:49,180 --> 00:20:50,704
It's, like,
three miles in 15 seconds.
468
00:20:50,782 --> 00:20:51,771
Right, right.
469
00:20:51,849 --> 00:20:53,612
I forgot you guys
don't have that in Canada.
470
00:20:53,918 --> 00:20:54,907
You don't
remember me, do you?
471
00:20:54,986 --> 00:20:56,112
We met at the party
the other day.
472
00:20:56,387 --> 00:20:58,184
Were you the Pac-Man guy?
No.
473
00:20:58,256 --> 00:21:00,247
Not even.
That was some total ass.
474
00:21:00,458 --> 00:21:01,948
I was the other guy.
475
00:21:02,026 --> 00:21:04,256
You know, you need to sign
for this, whatever this is.
476
00:21:04,328 --> 00:21:05,488
But if I sign for it,
you'll leave.
477
00:21:05,563 --> 00:21:06,689
Yeah, it's how it works.
478
00:21:06,764 --> 00:21:08,698
Okay, well, maybe,
479
00:21:08,766 --> 00:21:11,564
do you wanna hang out sometime?
Get to know each other?
480
00:21:11,636 --> 00:21:13,604
You're the new kid
on the block, right?
481
00:21:13,671 --> 00:21:18,904
I've lived here forever, so there are
reasons for you to hang out with me.
482
00:21:20,411 --> 00:21:21,844
You want me to
hang out with you?
483
00:21:23,481 --> 00:21:25,005
Yeah, if that's cool.
484
00:21:25,483 --> 00:21:28,350
If I say yes, will you sign
for your damn package?
485
00:21:29,887 --> 00:21:31,252
So, yeah, 8:00?
486
00:21:34,725 --> 00:21:36,352
Why are you just
standing there?
487
00:21:36,594 --> 00:21:38,528
Dude, I'm totally
waiting on you.
488
00:21:38,596 --> 00:21:41,087
I'm sorry, I just assumed you
were too cool to be here on time.
489
00:21:41,165 --> 00:21:42,996
Oh, you assumed wrong.
490
00:21:44,168 --> 00:21:46,398
So, how did you
end up in Toronto?
491
00:21:46,471 --> 00:21:47,802
Just needed
to escape, I guess.
492
00:21:47,939 --> 00:21:49,270
Yeah.
493
00:21:49,340 --> 00:21:50,967
I got this job here,
and Gideon had always said
494
00:21:51,042 --> 00:21:53,533
Toronto was one of
the great cities, so...
495
00:21:53,611 --> 00:21:55,636
Is Gideon your boyfriend?
496
00:21:55,980 --> 00:21:58,710
He's a friend.
497
00:21:59,784 --> 00:22:01,479
Was he your boyfriend?
498
00:22:01,819 --> 00:22:04,014
Do you mind if I don't
get into that right now?
499
00:22:04,088 --> 00:22:06,454
It's so not
interesting to me.
500
00:22:06,924 --> 00:22:09,290
So, what about you?
What do you do?
501
00:22:09,360 --> 00:22:11,385
I'm in between jobs
at the moment.
502
00:22:11,529 --> 00:22:13,554
Between what and what?
503
00:22:13,631 --> 00:22:18,728
Well, my last job was a
long story filled with sighs.
504
00:22:19,136 --> 00:22:20,933
I know plenty of those.
505
00:22:21,005 --> 00:22:22,267
Is that why you
left New York?
506
00:22:22,340 --> 00:22:23,932
Pretty much.
507
00:22:24,008 --> 00:22:26,033
It was just time to head
somewhere a little more chilled.
508
00:22:26,577 --> 00:22:28,238
Well, it's certainly
chilled here.
509
00:22:28,312 --> 00:22:29,506
Yeah.
510
00:22:29,580 --> 00:22:31,912
It's chilled, as in cold.
511
00:22:32,183 --> 00:22:33,445
Yeah.
512
00:22:35,887 --> 00:22:38,913
This is ridiculous.
Isn't it, like, April?
513
00:22:38,990 --> 00:22:40,082
I know.
514
00:22:40,157 --> 00:22:42,125
I can barely see you.
515
00:22:42,193 --> 00:22:44,889
This whole thing is
an unmitigated disaster.
516
00:22:44,962 --> 00:22:48,796
I think act of God is a pretty
decent excuse for a lousy date.
517
00:22:48,866 --> 00:22:50,731
So this is a date, eh?
518
00:22:50,868 --> 00:22:52,768
Did I say date?
519
00:22:53,271 --> 00:22:54,761
Slip of the tongue.
520
00:22:54,839 --> 00:22:56,397
Tongue.
521
00:22:56,474 --> 00:22:58,999
Anyway,
night's not over yet.
522
00:22:59,076 --> 00:23:01,010
I think there's a thingy
over here, somewhere.
523
00:23:01,078 --> 00:23:02,102
A thingy?
524
00:23:03,080 --> 00:23:04,809
A door.
525
00:23:08,119 --> 00:23:09,347
Come on.
526
00:23:25,036 --> 00:23:26,298
What kind of tea
do you want?
527
00:23:26,604 --> 00:23:27,866
There's more
than one kind?
528
00:23:29,106 --> 00:23:31,631
We have blueberry, raspberry,
ginseng, Sleepytime,
529
00:23:31,709 --> 00:23:32,835
green tea,
green tea with lemon,
530
00:23:32,910 --> 00:23:34,434
green tea with lemon and
honey, liver disaster,
531
00:23:34,512 --> 00:23:35,843
ginger with honey,
ginger without honey,
532
00:23:35,913 --> 00:23:37,881
vanilla-almond, white
truffle, blueberry-chamomile,
533
00:23:37,949 --> 00:23:40,247
vanilla-walnut,
Constant Comment
534
00:23:40,585 --> 00:23:41,882
and Earl Grey.
535
00:23:42,286 --> 00:23:43,753
Did you make
some of those up?
536
00:23:44,355 --> 00:23:46,255
I think I'll have
Sleepytime.
537
00:23:46,524 --> 00:23:47,923
That sounds good to me.
538
00:23:50,094 --> 00:23:51,220
Let me get you a blanket.
539
00:23:51,596 --> 00:23:54,497
That would
actually be awesome.
540
00:24:04,041 --> 00:24:05,030
(GASPS)
541
00:24:05,176 --> 00:24:06,302
Dude, I'm changing.
542
00:24:06,944 --> 00:24:09,174
Sorry. I'm just cold.
543
00:24:09,246 --> 00:24:11,305
Here, does that help?
544
00:24:11,382 --> 00:24:14,044
Yeah, that's very warm.
What is that?
545
00:24:14,919 --> 00:24:16,819
Okay.
546
00:24:32,637 --> 00:24:36,038
Were you just gonna bring
the blanket from your bed?
547
00:24:36,107 --> 00:24:37,369
I guess.
548
00:24:37,441 --> 00:24:42,003
Maybe we should both get
under it, since we're so cold.
549
00:24:43,347 --> 00:24:45,338
What about our tea?
550
00:24:47,218 --> 00:24:48,617
I can
551
00:24:49,654 --> 00:24:51,417
not have tea.
552
00:24:59,397 --> 00:25:00,955
I changed my mind.
553
00:25:01,032 --> 00:25:03,660
Changed it to what?
From what?
554
00:25:03,734 --> 00:25:07,226
I don't wanna have sex with
you, Pilgrim. Not right now.
555
00:25:07,304 --> 00:25:09,135
Okay.
556
00:25:09,206 --> 00:25:11,504
It's not like I'm gonna send you
home in a snowstorm or anything.
557
00:25:11,575 --> 00:25:13,099
You can sleep in my bed.
558
00:25:13,177 --> 00:25:16,078
And I reserve the right to change
my mind about the sex later.
559
00:25:16,147 --> 00:25:19,742
Well, this is nice.
Just this.
560
00:25:19,817 --> 00:25:22,285
It's been, like,
a really long time,
561
00:25:22,353 --> 00:25:24,787
so I think I needed this,
whatever it is,
562
00:25:24,855 --> 00:25:26,948
so thank you.
563
00:25:28,859 --> 00:25:30,793
You're welcome.
564
00:25:33,764 --> 00:25:37,256
SCOTT: Hey, so, can this
not be a one-night stand?
565
00:25:37,334 --> 00:25:40,030
For one thing, I didn't even
get any. That was a joke.
566
00:25:41,072 --> 00:25:42,232
What did you
have in mind?
567
00:25:42,873 --> 00:25:45,307
Come to the first round of
this Battle of the Bands thing.
568
00:25:45,376 --> 00:25:46,604
You have a band?
569
00:25:46,677 --> 00:25:47,974
Yeah, we're terrible.
Please, come?
570
00:25:48,646 --> 00:25:49,943
(SIGHS) Sure.
571
00:25:50,481 --> 00:25:53,211
Oh! Wait. Can I get
your number?
572
00:25:54,785 --> 00:25:56,753
Wow. Girl number.
573
00:25:57,521 --> 00:25:59,318
See you at the show,
Scott Pilgrim.
574
00:25:59,824 --> 00:26:01,257
Hey, it's tonight. At the...
575
00:26:06,397 --> 00:26:08,991
Hey. You totally came.
576
00:26:09,467 --> 00:26:12,129
Yes. I did totally come.
577
00:26:16,040 --> 00:26:17,029
(STACEY CLEARS THROAT)
578
00:26:17,374 --> 00:26:19,934
Please excuse my brother.
He is chronically enfeebled.
579
00:26:20,010 --> 00:26:21,443
I'm Stacey.
Hey.
580
00:26:21,512 --> 00:26:23,104
This is Wallace, his roommate. Hey.
581
00:26:23,180 --> 00:26:24,442
This is my boyfriend, Jimmy.
582
00:26:24,515 --> 00:26:25,504
Hey.
583
00:26:26,117 --> 00:26:27,607
Oh, and this is Knives.
584
00:26:27,685 --> 00:26:29,414
Hey!
Hey!
585
00:26:34,125 --> 00:26:35,717
So, do you like?
586
00:26:35,793 --> 00:26:37,784
Well, I...
587
00:26:48,272 --> 00:26:50,866
Have to go.
588
00:26:53,344 --> 00:26:56,438
Okay, this next band
is from Brampton,
589
00:26:56,514 --> 00:27:00,075
and they are
Crash and the Boys.
590
00:27:01,285 --> 00:27:03,219
God! This is a nightmare.
591
00:27:04,221 --> 00:27:06,553
Is this a nightmare?
Wake up, wake up, wake up!
592
00:27:06,624 --> 00:27:08,023
Once we're on stage,
you'll be fine.
593
00:27:08,092 --> 00:27:11,528
We were just on stage for sound
check, and the sound guy hated us.
594
00:27:11,595 --> 00:27:14,826
It's just nerves.
Pre-show jitters.
595
00:27:14,899 --> 00:27:16,059
People love us, right?
596
00:27:16,133 --> 00:27:17,395
STEPHEN:
Oh, man, this is bad.
597
00:27:17,935 --> 00:27:19,960
This is so, so bad.
598
00:27:20,237 --> 00:27:23,263
Hey, Jimmy,
do they rock or suck?
599
00:27:24,275 --> 00:27:26,835
They have not
started playing yet.
600
00:27:27,611 --> 00:27:29,476
That was a test, Jimmy.
CRASH: One, two.
601
00:27:29,747 --> 00:27:31,112
You passed.
602
00:27:31,248 --> 00:27:32,613
Okay.
603
00:27:32,683 --> 00:27:33,945
Good evening.
604
00:27:34,018 --> 00:27:36,350
My name is Crash.
These are the Boys.
605
00:27:36,420 --> 00:27:38,115
Is that girl a boy, too?
606
00:27:38,189 --> 00:27:39,178
Yes.
607
00:27:40,758 --> 00:27:42,453
They have a girl drummer?
608
00:27:42,526 --> 00:27:47,088
This song is called I Am So
Sad, I Am So Very Very Sad.
609
00:27:47,164 --> 00:27:48,563
Goes a little
something like this.
610
00:27:51,335 --> 00:27:53,860
(SINGING)
So sad!
611
00:27:55,172 --> 00:27:56,230
Thank you.
612
00:27:56,473 --> 00:27:58,703
It's not a race, guys.
613
00:27:58,776 --> 00:28:00,266
All right, this next song
goes out to the guy
614
00:28:00,344 --> 00:28:01,834
who keeps yelling
from the balcony.
615
00:28:01,979 --> 00:28:04,038
It's called
We Hate You, Please Die.
616
00:28:04,114 --> 00:28:05,979
Sweet. Love this one.
617
00:28:16,927 --> 00:28:18,622
(SINGING) I can feel ya, I can hear ya...
618
00:28:34,278 --> 00:28:35,404
Thank you.
619
00:28:35,479 --> 00:28:36,537
(AUDIENCE APPLAUDING)
620
00:28:36,614 --> 00:28:39,242
So, how do you know Scott?
621
00:28:40,284 --> 00:28:41,876
He's a friend.
622
00:28:42,853 --> 00:28:44,445
It's hard for me
to keep track sometimes,
623
00:28:44,521 --> 00:28:46,648
because he has
so many friends.
624
00:28:48,058 --> 00:28:51,357
Knives,
how did you meet Scott?
625
00:28:51,428 --> 00:28:52,656
Well...
626
00:28:53,430 --> 00:28:54,590
SCOTT: Oh, no.
627
00:28:56,700 --> 00:28:59,134
This is a nightmare.
628
00:29:01,705 --> 00:29:03,104
We need to play
now and loud.
629
00:29:03,173 --> 00:29:04,231
Okay.
630
00:29:04,308 --> 00:29:07,675
So, I was on the bus
with my mom...
631
00:29:09,613 --> 00:29:11,638
Is that seriously
the end of the story?
632
00:29:12,016 --> 00:29:13,142
Oh, my gosh!
633
00:29:13,217 --> 00:29:14,206
ANNOUNCER: Okay.
634
00:29:14,285 --> 00:29:15,377
They're on!
635
00:29:15,452 --> 00:29:17,352
This next band
is from Toronto.
636
00:29:17,421 --> 00:29:22,984
And, yeah.
Give it up for Sex Bob-Omb.
637
00:29:23,060 --> 00:29:24,925
I heart you,
Sex Bob-Omb!
638
00:29:24,995 --> 00:29:25,984
(CHEERING)
639
00:29:27,598 --> 00:29:28,860
Scott, are you ready?
640
00:29:28,933 --> 00:29:30,400
Okay. Kim? Are you...
641
00:29:30,467 --> 00:29:34,164
We are Sex Bob-Omb!
One, two, three, four!
642
00:29:34,305 --> 00:29:35,431
(PLAYING ROCK MUSIC)
643
00:29:36,840 --> 00:29:38,034
(VOCALIZING)
644
00:29:42,046 --> 00:29:44,981
(SINGING)
I'll take you for a ride
645
00:29:45,783 --> 00:29:48,149
On my garbage truck
646
00:29:50,354 --> 00:29:51,844
Oh, no
647
00:29:52,856 --> 00:29:55,154
I'll take you to the dump
648
00:29:57,061 --> 00:29:59,757
'Cause you're my queen
649
00:30:00,698 --> 00:30:03,189
I'll take you uptown
650
00:30:04,335 --> 00:30:08,294
I'll show you the sites
You know you wanna ride
651
00:30:09,540 --> 00:30:11,269
BOTH: On my garbage truck
652
00:30:12,977 --> 00:30:14,467
Truck, truck, truck
653
00:30:15,012 --> 00:30:17,947
We'll pass the mansions by
654
00:30:18,015 --> 00:30:21,451
Drive right through
the needle's eye
655
00:30:21,518 --> 00:30:22,610
Oh, my
656
00:30:22,686 --> 00:30:23,778
Oh, no... My...
657
00:30:23,921 --> 00:30:25,980
BOTH: My, my, my, my
658
00:30:29,226 --> 00:30:31,217
I've got a stereo
659
00:30:32,363 --> 00:30:35,355
You've just got
to turn the knob
660
00:30:35,432 --> 00:30:38,697
And maybe we'll go
661
00:30:38,769 --> 00:30:40,964
As far as we can
662
00:30:41,805 --> 00:30:44,035
BOTH:
I'll be your garbage man
663
00:30:45,576 --> 00:30:47,908
I'll take out your junk
664
00:30:49,113 --> 00:30:50,307
And I'll crush it...
665
00:30:52,416 --> 00:30:54,077
Mr. Pilgrim.
666
00:30:55,452 --> 00:30:59,252
It is I, Matthew Patel.
667
00:31:00,090 --> 00:31:02,957
Consider our fight begun.
668
00:31:04,428 --> 00:31:05,827
What did I do?
669
00:31:07,131 --> 00:31:09,156
What do I do?
670
00:31:10,934 --> 00:31:12,128
Fight!
671
00:31:24,715 --> 00:31:26,512
All right.
672
00:31:27,451 --> 00:31:29,646
All right.
673
00:31:29,720 --> 00:31:32,280
Watch out!
It's that one guy.
674
00:31:32,389 --> 00:31:33,378
(EXCLAIMS)
675
00:31:53,710 --> 00:31:54,699
(GRUNTS)
676
00:32:03,053 --> 00:32:04,111
(LAUGHING)
677
00:32:05,022 --> 00:32:06,649
Well, well, well,
678
00:32:07,724 --> 00:32:10,716
you're quite the opponent,
Pilgrim.
679
00:32:10,794 --> 00:32:12,261
Who the hell
are you, anyway?
680
00:32:12,329 --> 00:32:15,298
My name is Matthew Patel!
681
00:32:15,699 --> 00:32:21,103
And I'm Ramona's
first evil ex-boyfriend.
682
00:32:21,438 --> 00:32:22,496
(GROWLS)
683
00:32:23,040 --> 00:32:24,029
Her what?
684
00:32:25,609 --> 00:32:27,076
Anyone need another drink?
685
00:32:27,244 --> 00:32:28,233
(EXCLAIMING)
686
00:32:30,714 --> 00:32:31,703
(BOTH GRUNTING)
687
00:32:38,555 --> 00:32:40,580
Wait. We're fighting
over Ramona?
688
00:32:41,425 --> 00:32:44,019
Didn't you get my e-mail
explaining the situation?
689
00:32:44,428 --> 00:32:45,452
I skimmed it.
690
00:32:45,762 --> 00:32:46,751
Mmm-mmm.
691
00:32:46,864 --> 00:32:49,298
You will pay for
your insolence!
692
00:33:13,790 --> 00:33:16,088
Hey, what's up
with his outfit?
693
00:33:16,627 --> 00:33:18,959
Yeah, is he a pirate?
694
00:33:19,763 --> 00:33:20,889
Are you a pirate?
695
00:33:20,964 --> 00:33:22,397
Pirates are in this year.
696
00:33:22,900 --> 00:33:23,889
(YELLS)
697
00:33:28,205 --> 00:33:29,194
(GROANS)
698
00:33:31,708 --> 00:33:33,266
You really went out
with this guy?
699
00:33:34,878 --> 00:33:36,175
Yeah.
700
00:33:37,281 --> 00:33:39,272
In the seventh grade.
701
00:33:40,417 --> 00:33:41,475
And?
702
00:33:41,618 --> 00:33:42,607
(SIGHS)
703
00:33:44,788 --> 00:33:47,689
It was football season
and for some reason,
704
00:33:47,758 --> 00:33:49,419
all the little jocks
wanted me.
705
00:33:50,994 --> 00:33:54,157
Matthew was the only
non-white, non-jock boy in town.
706
00:33:54,231 --> 00:33:57,894
So, the two of us joined
forces and we took 'em all down.
707
00:33:57,968 --> 00:34:01,563
We brawled and scrapped
and fought for hours.
708
00:34:01,638 --> 00:34:03,799
Nothing could beat
Matthew's mystical powers.
709
00:34:03,907 --> 00:34:04,896
(KISSING SOUNDS)
710
00:34:05,075 --> 00:34:06,565
We only kissed once.
711
00:34:06,643 --> 00:34:09,806
After a week and a half,
I told him to hit the showers.
712
00:34:10,147 --> 00:34:12,479
Dude, wait.
Mystical powers?
713
00:34:14,918 --> 00:34:18,410
You'll pay for this, Flowers.
714
00:34:19,256 --> 00:34:22,191
(SINGING)
If you want to fight me
715
00:34:22,259 --> 00:34:23,317
What?
716
00:34:23,560 --> 00:34:26,120
Ha! You're not the brightest
717
00:34:26,730 --> 00:34:31,394
You won't know what
hit you in the slightest
718
00:34:35,105 --> 00:34:36,436
(VOCALIZING)
719
00:34:36,607 --> 00:34:37,733
This guy's good.
720
00:34:37,808 --> 00:34:40,140
Me and my fireballs
721
00:34:41,144 --> 00:34:42,941
My Demon Hipster Chicks
722
00:34:43,247 --> 00:34:44,544
Tell him, Matty.
Tell him, Matty.
723
00:34:45,349 --> 00:34:46,782
I'm talking the talk
724
00:34:46,850 --> 00:34:49,876
Because I know I'm slick
725
00:34:49,953 --> 00:34:51,215
BOTH: S- L-ick
726
00:34:52,222 --> 00:34:53,587
Fireballs
727
00:34:54,057 --> 00:34:56,025
Take this sucker down
728
00:34:59,062 --> 00:35:04,364
Let us show him
what we're all about
729
00:35:04,701 --> 00:35:06,601
That doesn't even rhyme.
730
00:35:09,806 --> 00:35:13,003
MATTHEW: This is impossible.
How can this be?
731
00:35:13,076 --> 00:35:16,273
SCOTT: Open your eyes,
maybe you'll see.
732
00:35:18,715 --> 00:35:20,239
ANNOUNCER: K- O!
733
00:35:28,425 --> 00:35:30,052
Sweet! Coins.
734
00:35:30,260 --> 00:35:31,921
MAN: God, is that allowed?
735
00:35:33,030 --> 00:35:35,658
Well, it was nice
meeting you.
736
00:35:35,732 --> 00:35:38,200
Tell your gay friends
I said bye.
737
00:35:38,268 --> 00:35:39,735
Gay friends?
738
00:35:40,971 --> 00:35:42,131
Wallace! Again?
739
00:35:42,639 --> 00:35:44,470
WOMAN: Get a room, guys!
MAN: Oh, my God!
740
00:35:45,275 --> 00:35:48,870
Oh, man, $2.40? That's not
even enough for the bus home.
741
00:35:48,945 --> 00:35:51,140
I'll lend you
the 35 cents.
742
00:35:51,214 --> 00:35:54,775
Yeah, so, Sex Bob-Omb wins.
743
00:35:56,720 --> 00:35:58,585
Sex Bob-Omb won?
744
00:35:59,222 --> 00:36:00,587
(WHOOPING)
745
00:36:01,658 --> 00:36:02,989
(AUDITORIUM DOOR SHUTS)
746
00:36:03,527 --> 00:36:04,551
(WHIMPERS)
747
00:36:05,762 --> 00:36:09,220
SCOTT: So, what was
all that all about?
748
00:36:11,368 --> 00:36:13,359
I guess
749
00:36:14,638 --> 00:36:17,630
if we're gonna date, you may
have to defeat my seven evil exes.
750
00:36:17,708 --> 00:36:18,970
You have seven
evil ex-boyfriends?
751
00:36:19,042 --> 00:36:20,236
Seven evil exes, yes.
752
00:36:20,310 --> 00:36:21,868
And I have to fight...
Defeat.
753
00:36:21,945 --> 00:36:26,439
Defeat your seven evil exes if
we're going to continue to date?
754
00:36:26,516 --> 00:36:27,574
Pretty much.
755
00:36:27,651 --> 00:36:32,350
So, what you're saying
right now is we are dating?
756
00:36:34,691 --> 00:36:35,715
I guess.
757
00:36:35,792 --> 00:36:36,918
Does that mean
we can make out?
758
00:36:38,261 --> 00:36:39,250
Sure.
759
00:36:39,329 --> 00:36:40,455
Cool.
760
00:36:40,564 --> 00:36:41,758
STUDIO AUDIENCE: Aw!
761
00:36:46,636 --> 00:36:48,661
(STUDIO AUDIENCE CHEERING)
762
00:36:51,141 --> 00:36:52,403
Someone's happy.
763
00:36:52,476 --> 00:36:54,842
Well, someone got to
second base last night.
764
00:36:54,911 --> 00:36:58,176
And someone has
a second date tonight.
765
00:36:58,248 --> 00:36:59,806
Someone's lucky, then.
766
00:36:59,883 --> 00:37:01,180
(STUDIO AUDIENCE CHEERING)
767
00:37:01,251 --> 00:37:03,082
You know when I say
"someone," I mean "me," right?
768
00:37:03,153 --> 00:37:04,552
I got to second base
last night.
769
00:37:04,621 --> 00:37:05,883
(STUDIO AUDIENCE
EXCLAIMING IN AWE)
770
00:37:05,956 --> 00:37:07,082
Maybe first-and-a-half.
771
00:37:07,157 --> 00:37:08,715
(STUDIO AUDIENCE LAUGHING)
772
00:37:09,626 --> 00:37:14,188
So, I invited Ramona over for
dinner tonight, so you can't be here.
773
00:37:14,264 --> 00:37:15,788
I don't want you
gaying up the place.
774
00:37:15,866 --> 00:37:17,663
(STUDIO AUDIENCE LAUGHING)
775
00:37:17,734 --> 00:37:19,463
Okay, Scott.
776
00:37:20,103 --> 00:37:22,196
But in return, I have
to issue an ultimatum.
777
00:37:22,506 --> 00:37:23,939
One of your
famous ultimatums?
778
00:37:24,007 --> 00:37:25,872
It may live in infamy.
779
00:37:26,877 --> 00:37:30,938
You have to break up with
Knives, that poor angel, today.
780
00:37:32,949 --> 00:37:35,179
But it's hard.
781
00:37:35,252 --> 00:37:37,720
If you don't, I'm going to
tell Ramona about Knives.
782
00:37:37,788 --> 00:37:38,812
I swear to God, Scott.
783
00:37:38,889 --> 00:37:39,947
What? You...
784
00:37:40,757 --> 00:37:41,781
Hi. Morning.
785
00:37:41,858 --> 00:37:43,519
Hey, Jimmy.
Double standard!
786
00:37:43,593 --> 00:37:45,026
I didn't make up
the gay rulebook.
787
00:37:45,095 --> 00:37:46,494
You got a problem with it...
Stop.
788
00:37:46,630 --> 00:37:48,063
Take it up with
Liberace's ghost.
789
00:37:48,131 --> 00:37:49,189
You're a monster.
790
00:37:49,266 --> 00:37:50,961
Give me the bacon,
and go do your dirt
791
00:37:51,034 --> 00:37:52,228
while I watch
the Lucas Lee marathon.
792
00:37:52,302 --> 00:37:53,496
Who's Lucas Lee?
793
00:37:53,603 --> 00:37:54,592
Oh!
794
00:37:55,372 --> 00:37:56,839
He was this
pretty good skater.
795
00:37:56,907 --> 00:37:58,306
Now he's this
pretty good actor.
796
00:37:58,375 --> 00:38:00,400
He's filming a Winifred Hailey
movie in Toronto right now.
797
00:38:00,477 --> 00:38:01,569
They make movies
in Toronto?
798
00:38:01,711 --> 00:38:02,803
Yes.
799
00:38:02,879 --> 00:38:04,437
I'm stalking him later.
800
00:38:04,514 --> 00:38:05,503
So, this Lucas Lee...
801
00:38:05,582 --> 00:38:07,641
Lucas Lee is not important
to you right now. Get out.
802
00:38:10,654 --> 00:38:11,814
You suck.
803
00:38:11,888 --> 00:38:13,082
WALLACE: Out.
804
00:38:13,256 --> 00:38:14,314
Surprising no one.
805
00:38:14,391 --> 00:38:15,380
Out.
806
00:38:17,627 --> 00:38:20,425
Now, you listen close,
and you listen hard, bucko.
807
00:38:20,497 --> 00:38:22,931
The next click you'll
hear is me hanging up.
808
00:38:22,999 --> 00:38:27,265
The one after that is
me pulling the trigger.
809
00:38:29,539 --> 00:38:30,870
(PHONE RINGING)
810
00:38:30,941 --> 00:38:31,999
SCOTT: Hey, Knives.
811
00:38:33,109 --> 00:38:35,839
Hey, do you wanna,
like, talk or whatever?
812
00:38:35,912 --> 00:38:41,145
KNIVES: Are you wearing a tan jacket,
like, a spring jacket, and a hoodie?
813
00:38:41,885 --> 00:38:43,819
And a dorky hat?
814
00:38:43,887 --> 00:38:45,980
It's not dorky.
Why are you psychic?
815
00:38:46,056 --> 00:38:47,114
(THUDDING)
Hey!
816
00:38:47,190 --> 00:38:48,418
Hey. Hey.
817
00:38:50,126 --> 00:38:51,252
Hey.
818
00:38:53,330 --> 00:38:54,558
Oh, my God.
819
00:38:54,631 --> 00:38:58,624
I can't believe TCAD's coming to
town. Will you take me to the show?
820
00:38:58,702 --> 00:39:01,000
Yeah, listen...
821
00:39:01,071 --> 00:39:04,529
Hey, I wanted to invite
you over for dinner.
822
00:39:04,875 --> 00:39:06,604
Like, Chinese food?
823
00:39:06,676 --> 00:39:09,440
To meet my parents.
It's my birthday dinner.
824
00:39:09,513 --> 00:39:12,073
I think that's
a really bad idea.
825
00:39:12,516 --> 00:39:15,007
No, it's okay. Why?
826
00:39:15,085 --> 00:39:16,677
I'm too old for you.
827
00:39:16,753 --> 00:39:20,018
No, you're not. My dad is
nine years older than my mom.
828
00:39:20,090 --> 00:39:23,287
Are you even allowed to date
outside your race or whatever?
829
00:39:23,426 --> 00:39:26,327
I don't care. I'm...
830
00:39:27,664 --> 00:39:29,063
I'm in...
831
00:39:35,472 --> 00:39:36,666
Uh...
832
00:39:37,374 --> 00:39:38,773
Listen,
833
00:39:40,043 --> 00:39:41,772
I was thinking
834
00:39:43,113 --> 00:39:46,446
we should break up
or whatever.
835
00:39:48,618 --> 00:39:49,676
Really?
836
00:39:50,053 --> 00:39:51,281
Yeah.
837
00:39:52,422 --> 00:39:54,356
It's not gonna work out.
838
00:39:57,127 --> 00:39:58,116
Oh.
839
00:40:27,757 --> 00:40:29,748
Where's Knives.
Not coming tonight?
840
00:40:29,826 --> 00:40:30,850
No, we broke up.
841
00:40:30,927 --> 00:40:33,521
Hey, check it out, I learned the
bass line from Final Fantasy II.
842
00:40:33,697 --> 00:40:34,823
(PLAYING GUITAR)
843
00:40:38,935 --> 00:40:40,869
Scott, you are
the salt of the earth.
844
00:40:40,937 --> 00:40:41,961
Thanks.
845
00:40:42,539 --> 00:40:43,836
I meant scum
of the earth.
846
00:40:44,240 --> 00:40:45,264
Thanks.
847
00:40:45,342 --> 00:40:46,707
You broke up with Knives?
848
00:40:46,776 --> 00:40:48,573
Yeah, but don't worry.
849
00:40:48,645 --> 00:40:51,136
Maybe soon you'll meet
my new-new girlfriend.
850
00:40:51,214 --> 00:40:52,238
New-new.
851
00:40:52,916 --> 00:40:53,940
(MIMICS GUN SHOT)
852
00:40:54,017 --> 00:40:58,750
Okay, from here on out, no girlfriends
or girlfriend talk at practice.
853
00:40:58,822 --> 00:41:00,483
Whether they're old, new, or
854
00:41:00,557 --> 00:41:01,683
New-new.
New-new.
855
00:41:01,758 --> 00:41:04,090
We were lucky to
survive the last round.
856
00:41:04,160 --> 00:41:05,787
It's sudden death now, okay?
857
00:41:05,862 --> 00:41:07,056
Okay.
858
00:41:07,430 --> 00:41:08,692
(PLAYING ROCK MUSIC)
859
00:41:12,936 --> 00:41:14,028
(DOORBELL RINGS)
860
00:41:14,104 --> 00:41:16,072
That's for me. That's
for me. That's for me.
861
00:41:16,139 --> 00:41:18,801
Hey, you're here.
862
00:41:19,876 --> 00:41:21,605
Yes, like you said.
863
00:41:23,279 --> 00:41:24,303
You know your hair?
864
00:41:24,381 --> 00:41:25,405
I know of it.
865
00:41:25,482 --> 00:41:26,642
It's all blue.
866
00:41:26,716 --> 00:41:29,879
I change my hair every week and
a half, dude. Get used to it.
867
00:41:30,887 --> 00:41:32,354
So...
868
00:41:33,623 --> 00:41:35,056
How do you guys
all know each other?
869
00:41:36,126 --> 00:41:38,356
High school, I guess.
870
00:41:38,428 --> 00:41:39,725
What Neil said.
871
00:41:39,863 --> 00:41:40,989
I'm Neil.
872
00:41:41,064 --> 00:41:43,760
Believe it or not, I actually
dated Scott in high school.
873
00:41:44,034 --> 00:41:45,558
Got any embarrassing stories?
874
00:41:45,635 --> 00:41:47,262
Yeah, he's an idiot.
875
00:41:47,604 --> 00:41:49,333
Okay, bye.
See you guys tomorrow.
876
00:41:49,406 --> 00:41:50,430
STEPHEN:
What about rehearsal?
877
00:41:50,573 --> 00:41:51,597
Neil knows my parts.
878
00:41:53,677 --> 00:41:55,167
I'm Neil.
879
00:42:03,453 --> 00:42:04,442
You doing okay, there?
880
00:42:04,521 --> 00:42:06,148
Yeah, good, good, good.
881
00:42:09,392 --> 00:42:10,552
She changed her hair.
882
00:42:10,694 --> 00:42:11,888
So? It looks nice blue.
883
00:42:11,961 --> 00:42:13,394
Yeah, I know, but she
did it without even making
884
00:42:13,463 --> 00:42:14,589
a big deal of it
or anything.
885
00:42:14,664 --> 00:42:17,360
She's fickle. Impulsive. Spontaneous.
886
00:42:17,600 --> 00:42:19,067
God, what am I gonna do?
887
00:42:19,335 --> 00:42:23,294
Can't believe you're worried
about me gaying up the place.
888
00:42:23,373 --> 00:42:25,307
So, how's dinner
coming along?
889
00:42:25,375 --> 00:42:27,240
Yeah, good, good, good.
890
00:42:28,745 --> 00:42:31,805
Okay, well, I'm gonna
leave you lovebirds to it.
891
00:42:31,881 --> 00:42:35,510
I am heading up to Casa Loma
to stalk my hetero crush.
892
00:42:35,585 --> 00:42:36,609
(WHISPERS) Don't go!
893
00:42:36,686 --> 00:42:38,085
Will you man the hell up?
894
00:42:38,154 --> 00:42:39,553
You can get to second
and a half base tonight.
895
00:42:39,622 --> 00:42:40,748
You think so?
896
00:42:40,824 --> 00:42:43,725
Well, if you strike out in the next
hour, come find me at the castle.
897
00:42:44,027 --> 00:42:45,085
If I strike out?
898
00:42:45,161 --> 00:42:46,492
Okay, when. See you in 60.
899
00:42:51,534 --> 00:42:53,001
This is actually
really good garlic bread.
900
00:42:53,069 --> 00:42:54,661
Garlic bread is
my favorite food.
901
00:42:54,738 --> 00:42:56,467
I could honestly
eat it for every meal.
902
00:42:56,740 --> 00:42:59,231
Or just eat it all the time
without even stopping.
903
00:42:59,309 --> 00:43:00,367
You'd get fat.
904
00:43:00,510 --> 00:43:01,602
No, why would I get fat?
905
00:43:01,678 --> 00:43:02,736
Bread makes you fat.
906
00:43:02,812 --> 00:43:04,040
Bread makes you fat?
907
00:43:06,883 --> 00:43:08,111
I wrote a song about you.
908
00:43:08,218 --> 00:43:09,276
You did?
909
00:43:09,352 --> 00:43:10,444
Yeah, it goes like this.
910
00:43:11,121 --> 00:43:14,181
(SINGING) Ramona
911
00:43:17,694 --> 00:43:20,629
Ramona
912
00:43:22,332 --> 00:43:24,732
On my mind
913
00:43:25,935 --> 00:43:29,894
Ramona
914
00:43:35,345 --> 00:43:36,744
Can't wait to hear it
when it's finished.
915
00:43:37,514 --> 00:43:38,606
Finished?
916
00:43:45,355 --> 00:43:46,822
Your hair's pretty shaggy.
917
00:43:46,890 --> 00:43:48,881
Oh, God,
I need a haircut, don't I?
918
00:43:48,958 --> 00:43:49,947
What?
919
00:43:50,026 --> 00:43:51,288
No, sorry. I just...
920
00:43:51,661 --> 00:43:55,153
I got a bad haircut right
before me and my big ex broke up,
921
00:43:55,231 --> 00:43:57,756
but that was so long ago
now I can barely remember.
922
00:43:57,834 --> 00:44:00,598
NARRATOR: Scott is acutely aware
that his last salon haircut took place
923
00:44:00,670 --> 00:44:04,504
exactly 431 days ago, three
hours before his big breakup.
924
00:44:04,574 --> 00:44:06,769
He's been cutting
his own hair ever since.
925
00:44:06,843 --> 00:44:07,935
So long ago.
926
00:44:09,379 --> 00:44:10,641
Sounds like a bad time.
927
00:44:10,713 --> 00:44:12,544
Bad time? Not really.
928
00:44:12,615 --> 00:44:13,707
It was.
929
00:44:13,783 --> 00:44:15,011
It was a mutual thing.
930
00:44:15,084 --> 00:44:16,176
It wasn't.
931
00:44:16,252 --> 00:44:19,221
I mean, she told me it was mutual.
932
00:44:19,289 --> 00:44:21,689
She dumped him.
It was brutal.
933
00:44:21,758 --> 00:44:22,986
What was her name?
934
00:44:23,059 --> 00:44:24,356
She was Nat,
when I knew her,
935
00:44:24,427 --> 00:44:26,520
but she stopped
liking that name.
936
00:44:26,596 --> 00:44:28,257
Then she stopped liking me.
937
00:44:28,331 --> 00:44:30,231
Your hair is cute.
I like it long.
938
00:44:30,300 --> 00:44:32,097
But it would be cuter short, wouldn't it?
939
00:44:32,168 --> 00:44:34,033
What?
What?
940
00:44:34,737 --> 00:44:35,761
Why are you
wearing that hat?
941
00:44:35,839 --> 00:44:37,067
I thought we could go
for a walk.
942
00:44:38,808 --> 00:44:40,241
RAMONA: Tell me we didn't
come out here in the cold
943
00:44:40,310 --> 00:44:41,607
so you could cover
your hair with that hat.
944
00:44:41,678 --> 00:44:44,306
No, no. I just love me
some walking, you know.
945
00:44:44,380 --> 00:44:49,374
Just putting one leg in front
of the other, like this. Walking.
946
00:44:49,452 --> 00:44:51,420
You seem
a little heightened.
947
00:44:52,188 --> 00:44:53,553
Yeah. Yeah, I don't know.
948
00:44:53,623 --> 00:44:56,217
I just sort of feel like I'm
on drugs when I'm with you.
949
00:44:56,292 --> 00:44:57,816
Not that I do drugs,
unless you do drugs,
950
00:44:57,894 --> 00:44:59,794
in which case
I do drugs all the time.
951
00:44:59,863 --> 00:45:00,887
Every drug.
952
00:45:01,664 --> 00:45:04,633
Yeah, I don't know.
Just when I'm with you,
953
00:45:04,701 --> 00:45:07,431
things sort of seem
a little brighter.
954
00:45:07,503 --> 00:45:08,527
What is this place?
955
00:45:08,605 --> 00:45:10,129
It's a totally
awesome castle.
956
00:45:10,273 --> 00:45:11,831
They're shooting this movie here right now.
957
00:45:11,908 --> 00:45:14,536
MAN: Okay, everybody, let's
do this. Lots to do, everyone.
958
00:45:14,611 --> 00:45:15,600
Lots to do.
959
00:45:15,678 --> 00:45:17,441
Did you find the guy you were stalking?
960
00:45:17,513 --> 00:45:19,174
I think I'm about
to right now.
961
00:45:19,249 --> 00:45:20,841
MAN: Mr. Lee is traveling.
962
00:45:20,917 --> 00:45:21,941
Mr. Lee?
963
00:45:22,018 --> 00:45:23,349
Lucas Lee.
964
00:45:23,453 --> 00:45:24,442
Oh.
965
00:45:24,954 --> 00:45:25,943
Oh?
966
00:45:26,222 --> 00:45:27,655
MAN: And roll sound.
967
00:45:27,991 --> 00:45:30,425
(TRIUMPHANT INSTRUMENTAL
MUSIC PLAYING)
968
00:45:34,397 --> 00:45:36,763
I wanna have his
adopted babies.
969
00:45:37,967 --> 00:45:39,059
Here we go.
970
00:45:40,870 --> 00:45:42,599
All right,
on your marks, everyone.
971
00:45:42,672 --> 00:45:44,003
Oh, man, we got to go.
972
00:45:44,240 --> 00:45:45,366
What? Why?
973
00:45:45,441 --> 00:45:47,739
I used to date that clown.
974
00:45:47,810 --> 00:45:48,834
And...
975
00:45:48,912 --> 00:45:49,970
Action.
976
00:45:50,313 --> 00:45:51,905
Oh, my God.
977
00:45:51,981 --> 00:45:53,141
Hey.
978
00:45:53,883 --> 00:45:55,578
The only thing keeping me and her apart
979
00:45:55,652 --> 00:45:57,950
is the two minutes it's
gonna take to kick your ass.
980
00:45:58,021 --> 00:45:59,716
You dated a famous guy?
981
00:45:59,789 --> 00:46:01,484
In ninth grade.
We had drama.
982
00:46:01,557 --> 00:46:02,854
Actually,
it might have been math.
983
00:46:02,992 --> 00:46:04,323
I just remember there being a lot of drama.
984
00:46:04,394 --> 00:46:05,383
Hey!
985
00:46:05,461 --> 00:46:07,395
He was a snot-nosed little
brat. He just followed me around.
986
00:46:07,463 --> 00:46:10,193
He had snot in his nose?
But he's famous.
987
00:46:10,266 --> 00:46:12,791
Hey! I'm talking to you,
Scott Pilgrim.
988
00:46:12,869 --> 00:46:14,461
He's famous and
he talked to me.
989
00:46:14,704 --> 00:46:16,672
The only thing keeping me and her apart
990
00:46:16,739 --> 00:46:19,299
is the two minutes it's
gonna take to kick your ass.
991
00:46:19,509 --> 00:46:22,069
Can I have your... Can I
have your autograph, please?
992
00:46:22,679 --> 00:46:23,805
(GRUNTING)
993
00:46:25,515 --> 00:46:26,573
What's up?
994
00:46:26,649 --> 00:46:28,844
How's life?
He seems nice.
995
00:46:30,520 --> 00:46:31,509
(SCOTT SCREAMING)
996
00:46:32,355 --> 00:46:33,686
Boom!
997
00:46:34,324 --> 00:46:35,313
(GRUNTING)
998
00:46:37,260 --> 00:46:39,251
MAN: And that's a cut!
999
00:46:40,163 --> 00:46:43,690
Scott, evil ex. Fight.
1000
00:46:43,766 --> 00:46:46,428
Let's get ready to go again,
please. Let's get ready to go again.
1001
00:46:46,502 --> 00:46:48,094
Hey, hombre.
1002
00:46:49,138 --> 00:46:52,107
You really think you can stand a
chance against an A-lister, bro?
1003
00:46:54,043 --> 00:46:55,032
(EXHALES)
1004
00:46:55,778 --> 00:46:58,246
Some competish you are.
1005
00:46:59,816 --> 00:47:00,805
Hey!
1006
00:47:01,751 --> 00:47:02,877
Hey!
(SCOFFS)
1007
00:47:04,053 --> 00:47:05,987
Hey, I'm not done with you.
1008
00:47:06,055 --> 00:47:08,182
Oh! (CHUCKLING)
1009
00:47:09,592 --> 00:47:11,492
Looks like
you're seeing double.
1010
00:47:13,496 --> 00:47:14,485
He's good, right?
1011
00:47:14,831 --> 00:47:16,526
Sometimes I let him do
the wide shots
1012
00:47:16,899 --> 00:47:20,198
when I feel like getting
blazed back in my Winnie.
1013
00:47:25,274 --> 00:47:26,536
What can I say?
1014
00:47:28,144 --> 00:47:30,135
I'm nothing without
my stunt team.
1015
00:47:36,019 --> 00:47:38,988
Hey! Ask them how it feels to
always get his sloppy seconds.
1016
00:47:39,055 --> 00:47:40,044
How does it...
1017
00:47:41,157 --> 00:47:42,385
(ALL GRUNTING)
1018
00:48:14,424 --> 00:48:16,449
Hey, I'm gonna get a coffee.
You homies want anything?
1019
00:48:16,526 --> 00:48:18,357
No, I just ate.
Negative.
1020
00:48:20,930 --> 00:48:21,919
(CELL PHONE BEEPS)
1021
00:48:23,032 --> 00:48:24,021
(CHUCKLES)
1022
00:48:25,568 --> 00:48:27,729
That's actually hilarious.
1023
00:48:28,337 --> 00:48:29,395
Ah.
1024
00:48:29,472 --> 00:48:30,905
Hilarious.
1025
00:48:32,141 --> 00:48:33,699
SCOTT: Mr. Lee!
1026
00:48:38,481 --> 00:48:40,381
You're needed back on set.
1027
00:49:06,042 --> 00:49:07,031
(GRUNTS)
1028
00:49:07,910 --> 00:49:09,400
Prepare...
1029
00:49:10,246 --> 00:49:14,273
Prepare to feel the wrath
of the League of Evil Exes.
1030
00:49:14,484 --> 00:49:16,076
The League of Evil Axes?
1031
00:49:16,686 --> 00:49:17,983
You really don't know
about the League?
1032
00:49:19,388 --> 00:49:22,414
The seven evil exes?
Coming to kill you?
1033
00:49:22,959 --> 00:49:25,826
Controlling the future
of Ramona's love life?
1034
00:49:25,895 --> 00:49:27,055
No.
1035
00:49:27,130 --> 00:49:28,791
Oh, well, hey, listen, man.
Don't worry about it.
1036
00:49:29,198 --> 00:49:30,756
Really?
Yeah. Let's go get a beer.
1037
00:49:30,833 --> 00:49:31,822
That's great... (GROANS)
1038
00:49:31,901 --> 00:49:33,232
Boom! (LAUGHING)
1039
00:49:35,471 --> 00:49:36,460
(GRUNTS)
1040
00:49:36,839 --> 00:49:38,534
You are a pretty
good actor.
1041
00:49:38,608 --> 00:49:39,939
I'm going for
the Oscar this year.
1042
00:49:41,210 --> 00:49:43,178
But are you
a pretty good skater?
1043
00:49:43,246 --> 00:49:45,407
I'm more than
pretty good, ese.
1044
00:49:45,648 --> 00:49:47,513
I have my own skate company.
1045
00:49:48,084 --> 00:49:52,043
But can you do
a thingy on that rail?
1046
00:49:54,557 --> 00:49:56,320
It's called a grind, bro.
1047
00:49:56,392 --> 00:50:00,226
So, can you do
a grindy thingy now?
1048
00:50:01,864 --> 00:50:03,661
Are you serious?
1049
00:50:05,902 --> 00:50:08,496
There are, like, 200 steps,
and the rails are garbage.
1050
00:50:08,571 --> 00:50:10,698
Well, hey,
if it's too hardcore then...
1051
00:50:11,340 --> 00:50:14,741
You really think you can goad
me into doing a trick like that?
1052
00:50:14,810 --> 00:50:16,277
There are girls watching.
1053
00:50:19,048 --> 00:50:21,278
Somebody get me my board.
1054
00:50:22,552 --> 00:50:24,679
Hi. Big fan.
1055
00:50:26,255 --> 00:50:27,882
Why wouldn't you be?
1056
00:50:42,939 --> 00:50:43,928
Wow.
1057
00:50:46,842 --> 00:50:47,831
Wow.
1058
00:50:50,179 --> 00:50:51,168
Wow.
1059
00:50:57,320 --> 00:50:58,309
Wow.
1060
00:50:58,621 --> 00:51:00,111
Yes!
He totally bailed.
1061
00:51:01,390 --> 00:51:02,721
Ah! I didn't get
his autograph.
1062
00:51:02,792 --> 00:51:03,850
No.
1063
00:51:03,926 --> 00:51:06,190
MAN: And that's
a wrap, everybody.
1064
00:51:06,262 --> 00:51:09,129
Hey, where's Ramona.
Is she still here?
1065
00:51:09,198 --> 00:51:11,496
No. She totally bailed.
1066
00:51:11,567 --> 00:51:14,092
What's the deal? Seriously.
1067
00:51:14,170 --> 00:51:16,104
Let's move, people,
the sun is coming up.
1068
00:51:16,706 --> 00:51:17,764
(VOICEMAIL BEEPING)
1069
00:51:17,840 --> 00:51:22,334
Hey, it's me again. Scott. Give
me a call when you get this.
1070
00:51:22,411 --> 00:51:24,140
Scott Pilgrim.
1071
00:51:25,214 --> 00:51:27,648
What's the deal?
Seriously.
1072
00:51:27,717 --> 00:51:29,981
Yep. You said that
last night.
1073
00:51:30,052 --> 00:51:31,280
You know what
really sucks, though?
1074
00:51:31,787 --> 00:51:32,776
What?
1075
00:51:33,589 --> 00:51:34,851
Everything.
1076
00:51:35,091 --> 00:51:36,558
Come on, guy.
1077
00:51:37,093 --> 00:51:38,958
You can't say you didn't see this coming.
1078
00:51:39,028 --> 00:51:40,052
What?
1079
00:51:42,131 --> 00:51:43,530
What did you
think these were?
1080
00:51:44,133 --> 00:51:47,102
Kisses?
Seven little kisses?
1081
00:51:47,169 --> 00:51:50,229
Seven deadly X's.
1082
00:51:53,442 --> 00:51:56,172
Why does everything
have to be so complicated?
1083
00:51:57,280 --> 00:51:59,475
If you want something bad,
you have to fight for it.
1084
00:51:59,882 --> 00:52:01,247
Step up your game, Scott.
1085
00:52:01,484 --> 00:52:02,815
Break out the L-word.
1086
00:52:02,885 --> 00:52:04,079
"Lesbian?"
1087
00:52:04,387 --> 00:52:05,547
The other L-word.
1088
00:52:06,489 --> 00:52:07,854
"Lesbians?"
1089
00:52:07,923 --> 00:52:10,585
It's "love," Scott. I
wasn't trying to trick you.
1090
00:52:10,660 --> 00:52:12,890
Hey, buddy, look,
1091
00:52:13,229 --> 00:52:16,255
if she really is
the girl of your dreams,
1092
00:52:16,332 --> 00:52:17,799
then you have to
let her know.
1093
00:52:17,867 --> 00:52:21,530
You have to overcome any and all
obstacles that lie in your path.
1094
00:52:21,837 --> 00:52:24,704
You can do it. Be with her!
It's your destiny!
1095
00:52:25,775 --> 00:52:27,743
Plus, I need you
to move out.
1096
00:52:27,810 --> 00:52:28,902
What?
Yeah.
1097
00:52:28,978 --> 00:52:30,309
I'm kind of banking
on her calling you back
1098
00:52:30,379 --> 00:52:32,711
so I don't have to evict you
and feel all guilty and shit.
1099
00:52:32,782 --> 00:52:33,806
(PHONE RINGING)
1100
00:52:33,883 --> 00:52:35,214
I have a feeling
that's for you, guy.
1101
00:52:36,852 --> 00:52:37,841
Hey.
1102
00:52:37,953 --> 00:52:38,977
ENVY: Hey, Scott.
1103
00:52:39,055 --> 00:52:40,852
Envy?
Oh, shit.
1104
00:52:41,557 --> 00:52:42,683
Been a while.
1105
00:52:42,758 --> 00:52:43,747
Yeah.
1106
00:52:43,826 --> 00:52:45,020
A year, I think.
1107
00:52:45,094 --> 00:52:46,425
Approximately.
1108
00:52:46,662 --> 00:52:47,754
How are you?
1109
00:52:47,830 --> 00:52:49,229
I'm not doing
so good right now.
1110
00:52:49,632 --> 00:52:53,728
Oh, that's too bad.
Still breaking hearts?
1111
00:52:53,803 --> 00:52:57,830
What? No. I've been... It's
been different. You have no idea.
1112
00:52:57,907 --> 00:53:00,467
Probably not. Do you have a girlfriend?
1113
00:53:00,543 --> 00:53:02,568
Should I be jealous?
1114
00:53:02,645 --> 00:53:04,909
Yes, you should. I have this
totally awesome girlfriend
1115
00:53:04,980 --> 00:53:07,540
who calls me all the
time and she's America.
1116
00:53:07,616 --> 00:53:08,640
She's American.
1117
00:53:08,718 --> 00:53:09,878
What's her name?
1118
00:53:09,952 --> 00:53:11,681
I'm not telling you that.
Ramona.
1119
00:53:11,754 --> 00:53:12,743
Oh.
1120
00:53:13,089 --> 00:53:14,113
What? Do you know her?
1121
00:53:14,190 --> 00:53:15,589
What? No.
1122
00:53:16,058 --> 00:53:17,491
It sounded like you did.
1123
00:53:17,560 --> 00:53:20,120
I got to go. It's been
nice chatting with you.
1124
00:53:20,196 --> 00:53:21,322
Wait.
1125
00:53:27,136 --> 00:53:28,364
Okay.
1126
00:53:30,773 --> 00:53:31,899
Everything does suck.
1127
00:53:32,074 --> 00:53:34,702
(PHONE RINGING)
Or does it? Hello?
1128
00:53:35,544 --> 00:53:36,636
Hey, Knives.
1129
00:53:38,047 --> 00:53:40,277
What's that?
You're outside?
1130
00:53:41,384 --> 00:53:42,851
Is Scott here?
1131
00:53:42,918 --> 00:53:45,546
You know what? He just
left. (GLASS SHATTERING)
1132
00:53:47,490 --> 00:53:48,479
Really?
1133
00:53:48,624 --> 00:53:49,648
Yeah.
1134
00:53:51,794 --> 00:53:52,954
Sorry.
1135
00:53:56,031 --> 00:53:57,328
ENVY:
Do you have a girlfriend?
1136
00:53:57,400 --> 00:54:00,426
WALLACE:
Seven deadly X's.
1137
00:54:00,736 --> 00:54:03,136
RAMONA: You may have to
defeat my seven evil exes.
1138
00:54:04,306 --> 00:54:06,433
STEPHEN:
It's sudden death now, okay?
1139
00:54:06,575 --> 00:54:08,770
MAN: She's got some
battle scars, dude.
1140
00:54:08,844 --> 00:54:10,709
WALLACE: You can't say you
didn't see this coming.
1141
00:54:10,813 --> 00:54:11,802
(WHOOSHING)
1142
00:54:13,749 --> 00:54:14,943
Dude.
1143
00:54:18,053 --> 00:54:19,077
Please.
1144
00:54:20,055 --> 00:54:21,682
I'm really not
in the mood for this.
1145
00:54:24,093 --> 00:54:25,321
Okay, enough!
1146
00:54:29,064 --> 00:54:30,053
(GRUNTS)
1147
00:54:32,201 --> 00:54:33,634
You punched me
in the boob!
1148
00:54:35,204 --> 00:54:37,297
Prepare to die, obviously.
1149
00:54:37,373 --> 00:54:39,637
Look, I've had it today.
Can we not do this right now?
1150
00:54:39,708 --> 00:54:41,801
I'd love to
postpone, darling,
1151
00:54:41,877 --> 00:54:44,175
but I just cashed
my last rain check.
1152
00:54:44,513 --> 00:54:45,878
What's that from?
My brain!
1153
00:54:46,749 --> 00:54:49,479
I'm really, really not up
for this. Whatever it is.
1154
00:54:49,552 --> 00:54:53,010
Okay, little chicken.
I'll see you later.
1155
00:54:53,088 --> 00:54:54,783
But you won't see me,
1156
00:54:54,857 --> 00:54:58,486
because next time, I'll be
deadly serious next time.
1157
00:54:58,828 --> 00:54:59,817
What?
1158
00:54:59,895 --> 00:55:01,021
Never mind!
1159
00:55:02,631 --> 00:55:04,792
Man. Someone help me.
1160
00:55:04,934 --> 00:55:05,923
(CELL PHONE RINGS)
1161
00:55:06,035 --> 00:55:07,366
Hello.
It's Scott.
1162
00:55:07,436 --> 00:55:08,630
What did he do this time?
1163
00:55:08,704 --> 00:55:10,262
No, it's Scott.
It's actually me.
1164
00:55:10,339 --> 00:55:11,397
What did you do this time?
1165
00:55:11,474 --> 00:55:13,135
I didn't do anything. It's
everyone else that's crazy.
1166
00:55:13,209 --> 00:55:15,234
Look, I'm having a meltdown or
whatever. Are you still working?
1167
00:55:15,311 --> 00:55:16,437
I'm literally
about to leave.
1168
00:55:16,512 --> 00:55:17,672
Cool, I'm coming in.
1169
00:55:24,153 --> 00:55:25,643
I think I'll make it
a decaf today.
1170
00:55:25,721 --> 00:55:26,983
Scott Pilgrim!
1171
00:55:27,490 --> 00:55:28,787
What did you do
with my sister?
1172
00:55:28,858 --> 00:55:29,882
(TAPPING ON WINDOW)
1173
00:55:29,959 --> 00:55:31,824
Sorry, I had to go.
1174
00:55:32,361 --> 00:55:34,158
So, what can I (BLEEP)
Get you?
1175
00:55:34,230 --> 00:55:35,492
Is there anywhere
you don't work?
1176
00:55:35,564 --> 00:55:38,692
They're called jobs. Something a (BLEEP)
like you wouldn't know anything about.
1177
00:55:38,767 --> 00:55:40,997
And by the way, I can't (BLEEP)
believe you asked Ramona out
1178
00:55:41,070 --> 00:55:43,630
after I specifically told
you not to (BLEEP) do that.
1179
00:55:43,706 --> 00:55:45,071
How are you doing
that with your mouth?
1180
00:55:45,140 --> 00:55:47,199
Never (BLEEP) mind
how I'm doing it!
1181
00:55:47,276 --> 00:55:48,641
What do you have to say
for yourself?
1182
00:55:48,978 --> 00:55:50,445
Can I get
a caramel macchiato?
1183
00:55:51,447 --> 00:55:54,007
You know what, maybe it's high (BLEEP)
time you took a look in a mirror
1184
00:55:54,083 --> 00:55:55,778
before you wreak
havoc on another girl.
1185
00:55:55,851 --> 00:55:56,977
Me? Wreak havoc?
1186
00:55:57,052 --> 00:55:58,246
And speaking of
(BLEEP) which,
1187
00:55:58,320 --> 00:55:59,480
I hear the girl that
kicked your heart in the ass
1188
00:55:59,555 --> 00:56:01,147
is walking the streets
of Toronto again.
1189
00:56:02,525 --> 00:56:04,083
So, I can just get
my coffee over here?
1190
00:56:07,329 --> 00:56:08,762
Sorry that got
a little crazy last night.
1191
00:56:09,164 --> 00:56:11,098
Yeah, you kind of disappeared.
1192
00:56:11,834 --> 00:56:13,995
Yeah, I do that.
1193
00:56:15,571 --> 00:56:19,098
Listen, I know I can be
hard to be around sometimes.
1194
00:56:19,608 --> 00:56:21,803
I totally understand if you
don't want to hang out anymore.
1195
00:56:21,877 --> 00:56:23,902
No, no, I want to hang.
1196
00:56:24,313 --> 00:56:26,110
You know, the whole
evil ex-boyfriend thing...
1197
00:56:26,181 --> 00:56:27,205
Exes.
1198
00:56:27,283 --> 00:56:28,272
It's no biggie.
1199
00:56:28,918 --> 00:56:31,443
I know it's early,
1200
00:56:31,520 --> 00:56:33,988
but I don't think anything
can get in the way of how I...
1201
00:56:34,056 --> 00:56:35,148
Shit!
1202
00:56:36,525 --> 00:56:37,651
It's my ex.
1203
00:56:37,726 --> 00:56:38,954
A big one?
Mmm-hmm.
1204
00:56:39,762 --> 00:56:41,093
SCOTT: Envy.
1205
00:56:43,866 --> 00:56:45,026
I'm gonna...
1206
00:56:46,302 --> 00:56:47,701
Excuse me.
1207
00:56:50,205 --> 00:56:51,263
Your hair is
getting shaggy.
1208
00:56:51,340 --> 00:56:52,364
Yeah?
1209
00:56:52,441 --> 00:56:53,999
So, that's Ramona.
1210
00:56:54,076 --> 00:56:55,100
Yeah.
1211
00:56:55,377 --> 00:56:56,810
Okay, I'm jealous.
1212
00:56:56,879 --> 00:56:57,903
You're jealous?
1213
00:56:58,147 --> 00:56:59,205
I'm allowed.
1214
00:56:59,415 --> 00:57:01,610
You left me for
that cocky pretty boy.
1215
00:57:01,684 --> 00:57:03,379
You haven't even
seen him.
1216
00:57:03,586 --> 00:57:05,781
I know, you left me for
someone I've never even seen.
1217
00:57:05,854 --> 00:57:08,687
Maybe you will see him.
We're playing Lee's Palace.
1218
00:57:08,757 --> 00:57:11,590
You should
so totally come.
1219
00:57:11,660 --> 00:57:14,185
That's so not
going to happen.
1220
00:57:14,263 --> 00:57:16,163
Great, you're
so on the list.
1221
00:57:18,100 --> 00:57:21,467
Caramel macchiato
for (BLEEP) Pilgrim.
1222
00:57:22,171 --> 00:57:23,604
RAMONA:
So, that was Envy.
1223
00:57:23,672 --> 00:57:24,696
SCOTT: Uh-huh.
1224
00:57:24,840 --> 00:57:26,307
What happened
with the two of you?
1225
00:57:26,375 --> 00:57:28,343
Do you mind if we don't
get into it right now?
1226
00:57:28,410 --> 00:57:29,900
She wanted to move
to Montreal,
1227
00:57:29,979 --> 00:57:31,412
because she missed
her best friend.
1228
00:57:31,847 --> 00:57:33,280
This guy, Todd.
1229
00:57:33,349 --> 00:57:35,340
And two weeks later, they were
sleeping together, I guess?
1230
00:57:35,417 --> 00:57:37,009
Basically.
1231
00:57:37,086 --> 00:57:40,249
Dated a Todd once.
Didn't end well, either.
1232
00:57:40,322 --> 00:57:44,053
I can see how it sucks. Having
the past come back to haunt you.
1233
00:57:44,426 --> 00:57:46,860
Is it wrong that I try
not to think about it?
1234
00:57:46,929 --> 00:57:48,453
What do you want
to think about?
1235
00:57:48,764 --> 00:57:50,857
How warm
my place is right now.
1236
00:57:50,933 --> 00:57:51,922
Oh.
1237
00:57:53,335 --> 00:57:56,099
And you didn't bang her?
Are you gay?
1238
00:57:56,405 --> 00:57:58,930
I couldn't stop thinking
about my stupid ex-girlfriend.
1239
00:57:59,008 --> 00:58:00,475
Is that
the Uma Thurman movie?
1240
00:58:00,542 --> 00:58:04,876
Scott, just because Envy is back
in town doesn't make it not over.
1241
00:58:04,947 --> 00:58:07,006
Double negative.
It's tricky.
1242
00:58:07,082 --> 00:58:08,982
It's over. Move on.
1243
00:58:09,051 --> 00:58:10,040
Word.
1244
00:58:10,119 --> 00:58:12,815
Right. I'm not going
to let her toy with me.
1245
00:58:13,122 --> 00:58:15,181
From this moment on,
1246
00:58:15,257 --> 00:58:18,021
I will think of
Envy Adams no more!
1247
00:58:19,428 --> 00:58:20,622
I have distressing news.
1248
00:58:20,696 --> 00:58:23,665
Is it news that we suck, because
I really don't think I can take it.
1249
00:58:23,732 --> 00:58:26,758
No. The Clash at Demonhead are
doing a secret show tomorrow night
1250
00:58:26,835 --> 00:58:28,928
and Envy asked us
to open for them.
1251
00:58:29,004 --> 00:58:30,062
I hate you.
1252
00:58:30,139 --> 00:58:32,300
A gig is a gig,
is a gig, is a gig.
1253
00:58:32,374 --> 00:58:33,773
Maybe you can put
your history aside
1254
00:58:33,842 --> 00:58:35,673
until we get through
this thing, for the band.
1255
00:58:36,011 --> 00:58:37,740
For the band?
For the band?
1256
00:58:37,813 --> 00:58:39,178
Can't we do our...
For the band?
1257
00:58:39,248 --> 00:58:40,408
Can't we do our
own secret shows?
1258
00:58:40,482 --> 00:58:42,177
All our shows
are secret shows.
1259
00:58:42,451 --> 00:58:45,420
We're doing it.
G- Man might be there.
1260
00:58:45,487 --> 00:58:47,387
We play the next round
of the battle on Tuesday.
1261
00:58:47,456 --> 00:58:50,823
We have to get some buzz
going. We need groundswell.
1262
00:58:50,893 --> 00:58:52,417
We need stalkers.
1263
00:58:59,735 --> 00:59:01,327
What would you do
if your ex was in a band
1264
00:59:01,403 --> 00:59:03,098
and they wanted you
to open for them?
1265
00:59:03,305 --> 00:59:05,000
If my ex was in a band?
1266
00:59:05,074 --> 00:59:06,063
Mmm-hmm.
1267
00:59:06,675 --> 00:59:08,165
Might be a little
awkward, but maybe
1268
00:59:08,243 --> 00:59:09,904
it's the grown-up
thing to do.
1269
00:59:10,212 --> 00:59:12,840
Yeah. We're all
adults here, right?
1270
00:59:14,450 --> 00:59:16,145
KNIVES: Oh, my God!
1271
00:59:16,452 --> 00:59:18,215
He's dating
a fat-ass hipster chick!
1272
00:59:18,287 --> 00:59:19,811
I hate her stupid guts!
1273
00:59:20,189 --> 00:59:25,126
He only likes her because she's
old. She's probably, like, 25!
1274
00:59:25,461 --> 00:59:27,827
She's just some fat-ass
white girl, you know?
1275
00:59:27,896 --> 00:59:29,830
I think you mentioned
she was fat.
1276
00:59:29,898 --> 00:59:31,229
She's got a head start.
1277
00:59:31,300 --> 00:59:34,701
I mean, I didn't even know there
was good music until two months ago!
1278
00:59:34,770 --> 00:59:35,828
Hey, this really burns.
1279
00:59:35,904 --> 00:59:36,928
You should rinse.
1280
00:59:37,005 --> 00:59:38,063
(WATER FLOWING)
1281
00:59:38,140 --> 00:59:40,665
When I got this idea, I just
thought, "I have to do it!"
1282
00:59:40,743 --> 00:59:42,574
I can't hear
anything you're saying.
1283
00:59:43,378 --> 00:59:45,539
Oh, God! I look so
1284
00:59:47,249 --> 00:59:48,876
good.
1285
00:59:49,451 --> 00:59:51,817
Ramona Flowers
stole my Scott.
1286
00:59:52,154 --> 00:59:54,952
But I know
how to get him back.
1287
00:59:55,457 --> 00:59:56,481
How?
1288
01:00:03,065 --> 01:00:04,623
(ROCK MUSIC PLAYING)
1289
01:00:08,137 --> 01:00:10,264
(SINGING) Come on, come on
1290
01:00:14,843 --> 01:00:17,175
Thank you,
we were Sex Bob-Omb.
1291
01:00:17,246 --> 01:00:18,713
(WHOOPS)
Yeah!
1292
01:00:18,781 --> 01:00:20,976
We have some merch
at the back, so...
1293
01:00:22,384 --> 01:00:24,045
Okay, bar? Now?
1294
01:00:28,690 --> 01:00:30,988
Level with me.
Did we suck?
1295
01:00:31,059 --> 01:00:33,186
I don't know. Did you?
1296
01:00:34,963 --> 01:00:37,625
She has to go.
She knows we suck.
1297
01:00:41,937 --> 01:00:43,268
Hey, Ramona.
1298
01:00:45,307 --> 01:00:46,535
Hey.
1299
01:00:47,876 --> 01:00:49,503
What the hell?
1300
01:00:58,487 --> 01:00:59,818
Hey.
1301
01:00:59,888 --> 01:01:01,287
Hey, Scott.
1302
01:01:01,356 --> 01:01:03,483
What the hell?
1303
01:01:03,559 --> 01:01:05,322
Look who Knives is
hanging out with.
1304
01:01:05,961 --> 01:01:07,121
RAMONA: Who is
that girl again?
1305
01:01:07,196 --> 01:01:08,185
Scott dated her.
1306
01:01:08,263 --> 01:01:09,321
Briefly, briefly.
1307
01:01:09,798 --> 01:01:11,026
How old is she?
1308
01:01:15,537 --> 01:01:16,765
I gotta pee on her.
1309
01:01:16,839 --> 01:01:19,706
I mean, I gotta pee.
Pee time.
1310
01:01:21,210 --> 01:01:24,646
ANNOUNCER:
And then it was time
1311
01:01:24,713 --> 01:01:28,410
for Toronto to drown
in the sweet sorrow
1312
01:01:28,483 --> 01:01:32,613
of The Clash at Demonhead!
1313
01:01:32,688 --> 01:01:34,087
(AUDIENCE CHEERING)
1314
01:01:36,491 --> 01:01:38,823
CROWD: Envy! Envy!
1315
01:01:41,196 --> 01:01:42,561
SCOTT: That guy on bass...
1316
01:01:42,631 --> 01:01:43,893
ENVY: (SINGING)
Oh, yeah
1317
01:01:43,966 --> 01:01:45,297
...that's Todd.
1318
01:01:45,367 --> 01:01:46,459
I know.
1319
01:01:46,535 --> 01:01:48,025
Oh, yeah?
1320
01:01:49,037 --> 01:01:50,231
You know?
1321
01:01:50,305 --> 01:01:52,535
Oh, yeah!
1
01:01:53,888 --> 01:01:55,515
Oh, no.
2
01:01:55,856 --> 01:01:59,587
Hello, again,
friend of a friend
3
01:01:59,660 --> 01:02:01,491
I knew you well
4
01:02:03,531 --> 01:02:05,465
Our common goal
5
01:02:05,533 --> 01:02:10,027
was waiting for
the world to end
6
01:02:11,305 --> 01:02:13,239
Now that the truth
7
01:02:13,307 --> 01:02:17,835
is just a rule
that you demand
8
01:02:19,013 --> 01:02:20,844
You crack the whip
9
01:02:20,915 --> 01:02:25,181
Shape-shift and trick
the past again
10
01:02:25,252 --> 01:02:29,552
Send you my love on the wire
11
01:02:29,624 --> 01:02:32,957
Lift you up, every time
12
01:02:33,027 --> 01:02:35,689
Everyone
13
01:02:36,931 --> 01:02:38,796
pulls away
14
01:02:40,368 --> 01:02:43,565
from you
15
01:02:44,071 --> 01:02:46,403
That was...
That was devastating.
16
01:02:46,474 --> 01:02:48,442
Oh, my God.
Just, oh, my God.
17
01:02:48,509 --> 01:02:51,535
Yeah, you should see them
live. They're much better live.
18
01:02:51,612 --> 01:02:52,840
I think I'm gonna throw up.
19
01:02:52,913 --> 01:02:54,073
(JULIE GROANS)
20
01:02:55,216 --> 01:02:56,774
I can't even believe
I'm saying this,
21
01:02:56,851 --> 01:02:59,615
but Envy Adams would like
you all to come backstage.
22
01:02:59,687 --> 01:03:01,052
All of us?
23
01:03:01,188 --> 01:03:02,587
Did I (BLEEP) stutter?
24
01:03:06,360 --> 01:03:08,385
Wait, how do you know Envy?
25
01:03:08,462 --> 01:03:09,554
Scott dated her.
26
01:03:09,630 --> 01:03:10,619
(GASPS)
27
01:03:14,635 --> 01:03:15,897
Hey, Ramona.
28
01:03:16,737 --> 01:03:17,999
Hey, Todd.
29
01:03:18,472 --> 01:03:20,030
It's been awhile.
30
01:03:20,508 --> 01:03:21,497
Mmm-hmm.
31
01:03:22,009 --> 01:03:22,998
Mmm-hmm?
32
01:03:23,844 --> 01:03:25,141
I think we should
get out of here.
33
01:03:25,212 --> 01:03:27,180
So, how was the tour? You
guys play with the Pixies?
34
01:03:27,248 --> 01:03:28,772
You're like a superstar now.
35
01:03:28,849 --> 01:03:31,545
Yeah, it's not really
something I can put into words.
36
01:03:31,619 --> 01:03:32,643
Um, Envy...
37
01:03:33,888 --> 01:03:35,355
I read your blog.
38
01:03:35,723 --> 01:03:38,715
So, Scott and Ramona, eh?
39
01:03:38,793 --> 01:03:39,885
What of it?
40
01:03:39,960 --> 01:03:41,086
You guys make a cute couple, you know?
41
01:03:41,162 --> 01:03:42,254
(SCOFFS)
42
01:03:42,329 --> 01:03:43,455
Suit each other.
43
01:03:43,531 --> 01:03:45,795
You're my role model, Envy.
44
01:03:45,866 --> 01:03:48,096
Ramona, I like your outfit.
Affordable?
45
01:03:48,169 --> 01:03:50,160
Envy, I was just gonna say did
you get those jeans in New York?
46
01:03:50,237 --> 01:03:52,432
I'm talking to
Ramona right now.
47
01:03:52,907 --> 01:03:53,931
Ramona lived in New York.
48
01:03:54,075 --> 01:03:55,099
Did she?
49
01:03:55,309 --> 01:03:58,574
I was just there. Played the
Chaos Theatre, for Gideon.
50
01:03:59,080 --> 01:04:00,172
You know him, right?
51
01:04:00,347 --> 01:04:01,439
(GASPS)
52
01:04:01,549 --> 01:04:03,244
I've kissed the lips
that kissed you!
53
01:04:06,320 --> 01:04:07,309
(GRUNTING)
54
01:04:08,055 --> 01:04:09,283
Knives!
55
01:04:10,157 --> 01:04:11,249
TODD: What?
56
01:04:11,325 --> 01:04:12,519
I'm not afraid
to hit a girl.
57
01:04:14,428 --> 01:04:15,986
I'm a rock star.
58
01:04:16,063 --> 01:04:17,223
NEIL: Oh, my God!
59
01:04:18,265 --> 01:04:20,597
You punched the highlights
out of her hair.
60
01:04:22,303 --> 01:04:24,828
He punched the highlights
out of her hair!
61
01:04:25,106 --> 01:04:26,971
You are incorrigible.
62
01:04:27,174 --> 01:04:29,142
I don't know
the meaning of the word.
63
01:04:31,112 --> 01:04:35,845
So, you guys doing anything
fun while you're in town?
64
01:04:36,417 --> 01:04:38,783
Fun? In Toronto?
65
01:04:39,420 --> 01:04:42,116
That's it! You cocky cock!
66
01:04:42,590 --> 01:04:44,820
You'll pay for your
crimes against humanity.
67
01:04:45,259 --> 01:04:46,248
(GRUNTS)
68
01:04:56,737 --> 01:04:58,466
(WHIMPERS) My neck.
69
01:04:59,673 --> 01:05:00,765
Your hair.
70
01:05:01,842 --> 01:05:03,207
ENVY: Didn't you know?
71
01:05:03,444 --> 01:05:04,672
Todd's vegan.
72
01:05:08,816 --> 01:05:10,010
(COUGHING)
73
01:05:10,451 --> 01:05:11,440
Vegan?
74
01:05:12,987 --> 01:05:14,818
It's not really
that big of a deal.
75
01:05:16,524 --> 01:05:17,855
No kidding.
76
01:05:19,860 --> 01:05:21,350
Anyone can be vegan.
77
01:05:22,196 --> 01:05:24,289
Ovo-lacto vegetarian maybe.
78
01:05:24,498 --> 01:05:25,590
Ovo-what?
79
01:05:26,200 --> 01:05:30,432
I partake not in the meat, nor
the breast milk, nor the ovum
80
01:05:30,504 --> 01:05:32,597
of any creature with a face.
81
01:05:32,673 --> 01:05:33,867
ENVY: Short answer,
82
01:05:33,941 --> 01:05:36,432
being vegan just makes you
better than most people.
83
01:05:36,510 --> 01:05:37,568
Bingo.
84
01:05:37,745 --> 01:05:39,007
(SCOTT SCREAMING)
85
01:05:41,048 --> 01:05:42,515
STEPHEN:
Hey, man, question.
86
01:05:42,917 --> 01:05:45,385
I always wondered, how does
not eating dairy products
87
01:05:45,452 --> 01:05:47,283
give you psychic powers?
88
01:05:47,354 --> 01:05:48,844
Okay.
89
01:05:48,923 --> 01:05:51,323
You know how you only use
10% of your brain?
90
01:05:51,392 --> 01:05:53,690
That's because the other 90%
is filled with curds and whey.
91
01:05:53,761 --> 01:05:55,888
Did you learn that
at Vegan Academy?
92
01:05:55,963 --> 01:05:57,396
Go ahead and
get snippy, baby.
93
01:05:57,464 --> 01:05:59,898
If you knew the science, maybe
I'd listen to a word you're saying.
94
01:06:00,067 --> 01:06:01,329
(SCOTT SCREAMING)
95
01:06:04,738 --> 01:06:07,502
If I peed my pants, would you
pretend I just got wet from the rain?
96
01:06:07,575 --> 01:06:08,633
It's not raining.
97
01:06:08,709 --> 01:06:09,698
Oh.
98
01:06:09,977 --> 01:06:11,604
Then why don't you
give me the Cliff Notes
99
01:06:11,679 --> 01:06:14,307
on how and why you ended
up dating this A-hole.
100
01:06:14,381 --> 01:06:15,712
Is that really
important right now?
101
01:06:15,783 --> 01:06:17,751
Well, if there's a key
element in his backstory
102
01:06:17,818 --> 01:06:21,083
that's gonna help me out in a
critical moment of not dying, yes.
103
01:06:22,923 --> 01:06:26,188
I was only dating Lucas until
the minute Todd walked by.
104
01:06:26,861 --> 01:06:30,490
Guess that's not very nice, but
I used to be, kind of like that.
105
01:06:31,232 --> 01:06:34,599
We hated everyone. We
wrecked stuff. Nobody cared.
106
01:06:34,668 --> 01:06:36,829
He punched a hole
in the moon for me.
107
01:06:36,904 --> 01:06:38,769
It was pretty crazy.
108
01:06:38,839 --> 01:06:40,033
A week and a half later
he told me
109
01:06:40,107 --> 01:06:41,904
his dad was sending him
to Vegan Academy,
110
01:06:42,643 --> 01:06:44,008
so I dumped him.
111
01:06:44,612 --> 01:06:46,876
Have you dumped everyone
you've ever been with?
112
01:06:46,947 --> 01:06:48,812
You've never been
the dumpee?
113
01:06:48,883 --> 01:06:52,011
Look, I've dabbled
in being a bitch.
114
01:06:52,086 --> 01:06:53,883
It's part of the reason
I moved here.
115
01:06:53,954 --> 01:06:57,253
I was really hoping to
just leave it all behind me.
116
01:06:57,324 --> 01:06:58,723
TODD: Hey, lovebirds...
117
01:06:59,727 --> 01:07:02,025
We have unfinished business,
I and he.
118
01:07:02,663 --> 01:07:03,925
He and me.
119
01:07:03,998 --> 01:07:05,488
Don't you talk to me
about grammar.
120
01:07:05,566 --> 01:07:07,466
I dislike you, capisce?
121
01:07:07,534 --> 01:07:09,263
Tell it to the cleaning lady on Monday.
122
01:07:09,336 --> 01:07:10,428
What?
123
01:07:10,504 --> 01:07:11,994
Because you'll be dust
by Monday.
124
01:07:12,706 --> 01:07:13,730
Um...
125
01:07:13,807 --> 01:07:15,866
Because you'll be
pulverized in two seconds.
126
01:07:15,943 --> 01:07:19,174
And the cleaning lady,
she cleans up dust.
127
01:07:19,813 --> 01:07:21,337
She dusts.
128
01:07:23,550 --> 01:07:24,949
So, what's on Monday?
129
01:07:25,986 --> 01:07:30,116
Because it's Friday now. She
has the weekends off, so...
130
01:07:30,724 --> 01:07:32,658
Monday. Right?
131
01:07:33,327 --> 01:07:34,692
Basically, you can't
win this fight.
132
01:07:34,762 --> 01:07:35,922
You're gonna have
to give up this girl,
133
01:07:35,996 --> 01:07:37,327
because Todd's
gonna kill you.
134
01:07:38,232 --> 01:07:39,631
You used to be so nice!
135
01:07:43,737 --> 01:07:44,863
(SCREAMING)
136
01:07:51,879 --> 01:07:54,905
Scott, we're gonna go
to Pizza Pizza for a slice.
137
01:07:54,982 --> 01:07:56,415
Call us when you're done.
138
01:07:56,483 --> 01:07:59,077
He'll be done.
Real soon.
139
01:08:02,489 --> 01:08:05,720
Sounds like someone
wants to get funky.
140
01:08:06,460 --> 01:08:07,449
(BASS GUITAR PLAYING)
141
01:09:12,126 --> 01:09:13,491
(GRUNTING)
142
01:09:19,600 --> 01:09:20,726
(GROANING)
143
01:09:28,876 --> 01:09:32,972
I can read your thoughts. Your
will is broken. You're through.
144
01:09:33,480 --> 01:09:35,345
What say we drink
to my memory?
145
01:09:35,482 --> 01:09:37,382
Fair trade blend
with soy milk?
146
01:09:37,951 --> 01:09:39,885
(SCOFFS) I'm sorry,
but that's pathetic.
147
01:09:39,953 --> 01:09:41,978
Dude, I can see
in your mind's eye.
148
01:09:42,056 --> 01:09:44,183
You put half-and-half
into one of those coffees
149
01:09:44,258 --> 01:09:46,488
in an attempt to
make me break vegan edge.
150
01:09:46,560 --> 01:09:48,357
I'll take the one with soy.
151
01:09:51,198 --> 01:09:52,995
Thanks, tool.
152
01:09:54,368 --> 01:09:57,599
Actually, muchacho,
I poured the soy in this cup.
153
01:09:57,671 --> 01:10:00,504
But I thought real hard
about pouring it in that cup.
154
01:10:00,574 --> 01:10:03,475
You know, in my mind's eye or whatever.
155
01:10:04,545 --> 01:10:06,035
What are you talking about?
156
01:10:06,113 --> 01:10:07,546
You just drank
half-and-half, baby.
157
01:10:09,383 --> 01:10:10,680
Freeze! Vegan police!
158
01:10:10,751 --> 01:10:11,945
Vegan police!
159
01:10:12,019 --> 01:10:15,546
Todd Ingram, you're under
arrest for veganity violation,
160
01:10:15,622 --> 01:10:18,853
code number 827,
imbibement of half-and-half.
161
01:10:19,426 --> 01:10:20,518
That's bullroar!
162
01:10:20,594 --> 01:10:22,528
No vegan diet,
no vegan powers!
163
01:10:22,596 --> 01:10:24,757
But it's only
my first offense.
164
01:10:24,832 --> 01:10:25,992
Don't I get three strikes?
I mean...
165
01:10:26,066 --> 01:10:27,431
Take it.
166
01:10:28,335 --> 01:10:30,963
At 12:27 a.m.
On February 1st,
167
01:10:31,038 --> 01:10:32,335
you knowingly
ingested gelato.
168
01:10:33,207 --> 01:10:34,333
Gelato isn't vegan?
169
01:10:34,408 --> 01:10:35,841
It's milk and eggs, bitch.
170
01:10:35,909 --> 01:10:39,037
On April 4th, 7:30 p.m. You
partook a plate of chicken parmesan.
171
01:10:39,113 --> 01:10:40,102
(GASPS)
172
01:10:40,681 --> 01:10:41,875
Chicken isn't vegan?
173
01:10:42,583 --> 01:10:44,574
The de-veganizing ray.
Hit him.
174
01:10:46,253 --> 01:10:47,242
(SCREAMING)
175
01:11:00,701 --> 01:11:02,191
ENVY: Oh, my God!
176
01:11:02,269 --> 01:11:04,794
No. No.
177
01:11:05,873 --> 01:11:08,273
You once were a vegone,
178
01:11:08,342 --> 01:11:10,537
but now you will be gone.
179
01:11:10,744 --> 01:11:11,870
Vegone?
180
01:11:26,827 --> 01:11:28,988
Yeah!
Yeah!
181
01:11:34,935 --> 01:11:36,926
Sorry, I guess.
182
01:11:38,138 --> 01:11:39,935
Sorry?
183
01:11:40,207 --> 01:11:43,472
You just headbutted my
boyfriend so hard he burst.
184
01:11:44,545 --> 01:11:48,140
You kicked my heart in the
ass, so I guess we're even.
185
01:11:49,616 --> 01:11:51,106
Natalie.
186
01:11:52,052 --> 01:11:56,284
Natalie? No one
calls me that anymore.
187
01:11:57,991 --> 01:11:59,083
Maybe they should.
188
01:12:02,095 --> 01:12:03,824
Let's get out of here.
189
01:12:11,371 --> 01:12:14,306
For the record, I am so
pissed off for you, right now.
190
01:12:14,374 --> 01:12:16,205
Shut the (BLEEP) up, Julie.
191
01:12:16,276 --> 01:12:17,573
Okay.
192
01:12:18,745 --> 01:12:20,440
We're still going to
the after-party, right?
193
01:12:20,514 --> 01:12:22,311
KIM: I'm not sure there's
going to be much of a party.
194
01:12:22,382 --> 01:12:24,043
I think a third of the band
just went "poom.' '
195
01:12:24,117 --> 01:12:26,779
Yeah, cool bands never go
to their own after-parties.
196
01:12:26,853 --> 01:12:29,617
Just the desperate people trying
to rub elbows with the label guys.
197
01:12:29,690 --> 01:12:31,658
Then why would we... Oh.
198
01:12:31,725 --> 01:12:33,818
Neil, you down?
199
01:12:33,894 --> 01:12:35,191
Scott, you're in, right?
200
01:12:36,196 --> 01:12:37,322
You wanna go?
201
01:12:37,397 --> 01:12:40,696
Well, I kind of
almost died back there.
202
01:12:40,767 --> 01:12:41,825
I'm not saying
I want to go.
203
01:12:41,969 --> 01:12:43,027
Yeah. We can totally go.
204
01:12:43,103 --> 01:12:44,127
I'll do whatever
you want to do.
205
01:12:44,204 --> 01:12:45,193
So, let's go.
206
01:12:46,440 --> 01:12:48,169
RAMONA: We really don't
have to go to this thing.
207
01:12:48,242 --> 01:12:50,039
It'll probably be
a bad scene all around.
208
01:12:50,110 --> 01:12:52,635
No, I'm fine.
It's just...
209
01:12:52,713 --> 01:12:54,146
It's just...
Well...
210
01:12:55,382 --> 01:12:58,442
Have you ever dated someone
that wasn't a total ass?
211
01:12:58,518 --> 01:13:00,247
So far,
you're not a total ass.
212
01:13:00,320 --> 01:13:01,514
But I'm part ass?
213
01:13:01,588 --> 01:13:03,715
If it makes you feel better,
you're the nicest guy I've dated.
214
01:13:03,790 --> 01:13:04,814
Wait, is that good?
215
01:13:04,891 --> 01:13:06,051
It's what I need right now.
216
01:13:06,126 --> 01:13:07,150
But not later?
217
01:13:07,227 --> 01:13:09,058
Scott, I don't have
all the answers, okay?
218
01:13:09,129 --> 01:13:11,859
I'd just like to try and
live in the moment if I can.
219
01:13:11,932 --> 01:13:13,524
I'd just like to live.
220
01:13:13,967 --> 01:13:15,434
RAMONA: Look, I know
Todd was bad news,
221
01:13:15,502 --> 01:13:16,935
but are you saying
Envy wasn't?
222
01:13:17,004 --> 01:13:18,369
We all have baggage.
223
01:13:18,438 --> 01:13:21,498
Well, my baggage doesn't try
and kill me every five minutes.
224
01:13:21,575 --> 01:13:23,440
What did you do to make
your ex-boyfriend so insane?
225
01:13:23,510 --> 01:13:24,841
Exes.
Whatever.
226
01:13:24,911 --> 01:13:27,072
No breakup is painless,
somebody always gets hurt.
227
01:13:27,147 --> 01:13:29,707
What about you and that girl,
Knives? Who broke up with who?
228
01:13:29,783 --> 01:13:32,377
I believe
I broke up with her.
229
01:13:32,452 --> 01:13:33,749
And was she cool with that?
230
01:13:33,820 --> 01:13:36,311
Knives is with Young Neil now.
She's totally cool with it.
231
01:13:36,390 --> 01:13:37,379
You sure about that?
232
01:13:37,457 --> 01:13:39,015
Yeah, she's very mature
for her age.
233
01:13:39,092 --> 01:13:40,354
We had a very
healthy breakup.
234
01:13:40,427 --> 01:13:41,621
We're all peaches and gravy.
235
01:13:41,762 --> 01:13:42,990
KNIVES: (ECHOING) No!
236
01:13:43,163 --> 01:13:44,653
What about you and Kim?
237
01:13:44,731 --> 01:13:46,892
Me and Kim?
I can barely remember.
238
01:13:46,967 --> 01:13:48,958
It was high school.
She had freckles.
239
01:13:49,169 --> 01:13:50,227
That's it?
240
01:13:50,304 --> 01:13:53,296
Yeah, it kind of ended.
We changed.
241
01:13:53,373 --> 01:13:54,499
That's really
the whole story?
242
01:13:54,574 --> 01:13:56,439
Okay, fine, I had to fight
a guy to be with her. Okay?
243
01:13:56,510 --> 01:13:59,138
I fought a crazy,
80-foot-tall, purple-suited dude
244
01:13:59,212 --> 01:14:01,339
and I had to fight
96 guys to get to him.
245
01:14:01,415 --> 01:14:04,043
He was flying and shooting
lightning bolts from his eyes, okay?
246
01:14:04,117 --> 01:14:06,551
And I kicked him so hard that he
saw the curvature of the earth.
247
01:14:06,620 --> 01:14:09,054
Does that make
you feel any better?
248
01:14:09,122 --> 01:14:11,920
Well, now you are being a
total ass. Welcome to the club.
249
01:14:12,726 --> 01:14:14,956
I'm sorry.
I'm not usually like this.
250
01:14:15,028 --> 01:14:18,555
Hey, don't worry. I don't even
know what I'm like anymore.
251
01:14:19,466 --> 01:14:22,264
I think this ex-boyfriends
thing is messing with my head.
252
01:14:22,336 --> 01:14:23,735
Exes.
Why do you keep saying that?
253
01:14:23,804 --> 01:14:24,793
(GRUNTING)
254
01:14:31,311 --> 01:14:32,938
SCOTT: The girl from earlier?
255
01:14:33,580 --> 01:14:35,514
Roxy?
You know this girl?
256
01:14:35,582 --> 01:14:38,608
Boy, does she know me.
257
01:14:38,819 --> 01:14:41,014
What is she talking about?
258
01:14:41,221 --> 01:14:42,813
He really doesn't know?
259
01:14:44,224 --> 01:14:45,248
Wait.
260
01:14:46,159 --> 01:14:47,148
Hmm?
261
01:14:50,063 --> 01:14:52,031
You and her?
It was just a phase.
262
01:14:52,099 --> 01:14:53,760
Just a phase?
You had a sexy phase?
263
01:14:53,834 --> 01:14:55,324
It meant nothing. I didn't
think it would count.
264
01:14:55,402 --> 01:14:56,460
It meant nothing?
265
01:14:56,536 --> 01:14:57,764
I was just
a little bi-curious.
266
01:14:57,838 --> 01:14:59,396
Well, honey,
267
01:14:59,473 --> 01:15:02,340
I'm a little bi-furious.
268
01:15:14,020 --> 01:15:16,113
Do that again
and I will end you.
269
01:15:16,189 --> 01:15:17,656
Back off, hasbian.
270
01:15:18,158 --> 01:15:20,626
If Gideon can't have you,
no one can.
271
01:15:22,362 --> 01:15:24,387
The League has spoken.
272
01:15:25,332 --> 01:15:27,596
Well, then Gideon best get
his pretentious ass up here
273
01:15:27,667 --> 01:15:30,295
because I'm about to kick yours
out of the Great White North.
274
01:15:30,404 --> 01:15:31,428
(EXCLAIMING)
275
01:15:44,684 --> 01:15:46,049
Wallace?
Uh-huh?
276
01:15:46,620 --> 01:15:48,212
This is happening, right?
Oh, yeah.
277
01:15:48,422 --> 01:15:49,912
Kick her in the balls.
278
01:15:50,090 --> 01:15:51,318
(BOTH GRUNTING)
279
01:16:12,612 --> 01:16:13,840
I'm sending you
back to Gideon
280
01:16:13,914 --> 01:16:15,779
in a thousand pieces,
you slag!
281
01:16:16,583 --> 01:16:17,743
(CROWD EXCLAIMING)
282
01:16:18,051 --> 01:16:19,075
Ha!
283
01:16:24,758 --> 01:16:26,282
I'd rather be dead
than go back.
284
01:16:26,359 --> 01:16:27,724
He's a creep,
you're a bitch,
285
01:16:27,794 --> 01:16:28,954
and you all deserve
each other.
286
01:16:29,029 --> 01:16:31,224
Give it a rest, Ramona.
This is a League game.
287
01:16:31,298 --> 01:16:32,390
Meaning?
288
01:16:32,466 --> 01:16:36,061
Meaning your precious Scott must
defeat me with his own fists.
289
01:16:38,205 --> 01:16:41,436
I don't think I can hit
a girl. They're soft.
290
01:16:41,508 --> 01:16:42,634
You don't have a choice.
291
01:16:46,213 --> 01:16:47,407
(BOTH GRUNTING)
292
01:17:01,995 --> 01:17:03,929
Fight your own battles,
lazy ass!
293
01:17:10,504 --> 01:17:11,630
Lazy ass!
294
01:17:11,738 --> 01:17:12,727
(GRUNTS)
295
01:17:18,612 --> 01:17:20,603
Every Pilgrim reaches
the end of his journey.
296
01:17:21,314 --> 01:17:22,576
Some sooner than others.
297
01:17:22,916 --> 01:17:23,905
(GRUNTING)
298
01:17:25,285 --> 01:17:29,585
Your BF's about to
get F'd in the B.
299
01:17:30,123 --> 01:17:32,751
Her weak point is
the back of her knees.
300
01:17:32,826 --> 01:17:34,521
Wait, how does that work?
301
01:17:34,728 --> 01:17:37,196
Whenever we were making out I would just...
302
01:17:37,297 --> 01:17:38,730
Okay, enough.
303
01:17:41,134 --> 01:17:42,123
(GASPS)
304
01:17:42,736 --> 01:17:43,725
(WHIMPERS)
305
01:17:47,140 --> 01:17:52,669
You'll never be
able to do this to her.
306
01:17:55,582 --> 01:17:56,571
(ROXY MOANING)
307
01:18:03,757 --> 01:18:05,088
(PEOPLE LAUGHING)
308
01:18:06,626 --> 01:18:07,820
So...
309
01:18:07,894 --> 01:18:09,327
Two gin-and-tonics, please?
310
01:18:09,396 --> 01:18:10,590
I thought you didn't drink.
311
01:18:10,664 --> 01:18:13,462
Only on special occasions.
Why? Did you want one?
312
01:18:14,167 --> 01:18:16,533
Guess we really don't know that
much about each other, do we?
313
01:18:16,603 --> 01:18:19,595
Maybe you could just give
me a list of all of your exes
314
01:18:19,673 --> 01:18:21,300
so that I can at least know who's going to
315
01:18:21,374 --> 01:18:22,966
beat my ass
into the ground next.
316
01:18:23,043 --> 01:18:25,705
Like a handy little laminate or
something? Let me see if I have one.
317
01:18:25,779 --> 01:18:27,269
Maybe we could
exchange our information.
318
01:18:27,347 --> 01:18:29,713
Hey, just out of sheer
curiosity and concern
319
01:18:29,783 --> 01:18:31,045
for my mortal well-being,
320
01:18:31,117 --> 01:18:34,143
is there anyone at this party
that you haven't slept with?
321
01:18:35,655 --> 01:18:36,747
(SIGHS)
322
01:18:38,892 --> 01:18:40,587
I think we should split.
323
01:18:40,660 --> 01:18:43,094
As in get out of here,
or as in split, split?
324
01:18:43,163 --> 01:18:44,653
I'd hope you could
figure that out.
325
01:18:44,731 --> 01:18:46,699
Or did you miss the part
where I saved your ass?
326
01:18:46,766 --> 01:18:49,496
How could I? I feel like we just
washed our sexy laundry in public.
327
01:18:49,569 --> 01:18:50,797
Dirty laundry.
You're drunk.
328
01:18:51,137 --> 01:18:52,161
I had, like, one drink.
329
01:18:52,238 --> 01:18:55,935
I'm sorry I cared. I don't enjoy all
this, Scott. In fact, I'm sick of it.
330
01:18:56,009 --> 01:18:56,998
I thought you might be
more understanding.
331
01:18:57,210 --> 01:18:58,268
I just...
332
01:18:58,345 --> 01:19:00,870
You're just another evil ex
waiting to happen.
333
01:19:03,583 --> 01:19:05,483
That was harsh.
334
01:19:06,886 --> 01:19:08,820
That was not good.
335
01:19:10,423 --> 01:19:12,015
That was embarrassing.
336
01:19:13,193 --> 01:19:14,421
One more.
337
01:19:14,494 --> 01:19:16,485
P.S. Here's your stupid list.
338
01:19:18,164 --> 01:19:21,156
Matthew Patel, Lucas Lee,
Todd Ingram, Roxy Richter.
339
01:19:21,234 --> 01:19:23,930
Who the hell are
the Katayanagi Twins?
340
01:19:24,004 --> 01:19:25,130
STEPHEN: Oh!
341
01:19:26,373 --> 01:19:27,704
You don't know?
342
01:19:28,008 --> 01:19:29,168
The Katayanagi Twins
343
01:19:29,242 --> 01:19:31,642
just happen to be
the next band in the battle.
344
01:19:32,212 --> 01:19:35,443
They are totally bad-ass.
345
01:19:35,515 --> 01:19:37,506
Ramona dated twins?
Apparently.
346
01:19:37,584 --> 01:19:38,642
At the same time?
347
01:19:38,718 --> 01:19:39,742
You know what?
348
01:19:39,819 --> 01:19:41,184
I don't know
and I don't want to know.
349
01:19:41,254 --> 01:19:43,984
Good. Because you know how I feel
about girls blocking the rock.
350
01:19:44,057 --> 01:19:45,684
Good, I play better
when I'm in a bad mood.
351
01:19:45,759 --> 01:19:46,885
If it's gonna be
an issue though,
352
01:19:46,960 --> 01:19:48,018
Young Neil can
fill in for you.
353
01:19:48,094 --> 01:19:49,425
It's not an issue.
You know bands,
354
01:19:49,496 --> 01:19:50,929
I know battles.
We got it covered.
355
01:19:51,131 --> 01:19:52,928
But we'd understand if you
didn't want to take part.
356
01:19:52,999 --> 01:19:54,296
Not only do I
want to take part
357
01:19:54,367 --> 01:19:56,164
I want to take them apart.
358
01:19:56,603 --> 01:19:58,628
Okay, I'm getting tingles.
359
01:19:58,705 --> 01:19:59,797
Whoa!
360
01:20:01,508 --> 01:20:03,339
Okay, we're doomed.
Oh!
361
01:20:03,410 --> 01:20:05,708
That poster needs
more exclamation marks.
362
01:20:06,312 --> 01:20:07,779
STEPHEN: Oh, man,
we're gonna get killed.
363
01:20:07,847 --> 01:20:09,439
Come on, we're going
on in five minutes.
364
01:20:09,916 --> 01:20:11,907
Wait, aren't the Katayanagis
going on first?
365
01:20:11,985 --> 01:20:14,453
I think
you're both on first.
366
01:20:14,721 --> 01:20:17,053
Wait, "Amp versus amp"?
367
01:20:17,123 --> 01:20:18,750
We're going on stage
at the same time?
368
01:20:18,825 --> 01:20:20,053
That's impossible.
369
01:20:21,661 --> 01:20:22,889
SCOTT: Okay, my bad.
370
01:20:22,996 --> 01:20:25,021
Your bad is
saying, "My bad.' '
371
01:20:25,465 --> 01:20:29,026
(SIGHS) We shouldn't even be
here. We shouldn't even be here!
372
01:20:29,102 --> 01:20:31,468
Come on, man! I put my
problems aside for the music.
373
01:20:31,538 --> 01:20:32,903
If I can do that,
we can do anything.
374
01:20:32,972 --> 01:20:34,496
Did you speak
to Ramona, then?
375
01:20:34,574 --> 01:20:37,441
What? No. I haven't seen
her since the other night.
376
01:20:37,544 --> 01:20:38,568
Oh.
377
01:20:38,645 --> 01:20:39,907
She's totally here.
378
01:20:40,914 --> 01:20:42,074
(INAUDIBLE)
379
01:20:42,849 --> 01:20:43,941
Scott?
380
01:20:44,951 --> 01:20:46,350
Not that I care,
381
01:20:46,419 --> 01:20:48,478
but you should go talk to her
before she's gone.
382
01:20:49,055 --> 01:20:50,079
Thanks, Kim.
383
01:20:50,156 --> 01:20:51,248
And I really don't care.
384
01:20:53,159 --> 01:20:54,626
GIDEON: I didn't mean to
put you through all that.
385
01:20:54,694 --> 01:20:57,219
I only did it because I
love you. You know that.
386
01:21:07,273 --> 01:21:08,763
(ELECTRONIC MUSIC PLAYING)
387
01:21:24,891 --> 01:21:26,518
(PLAYING HIGH NOTE)
388
01:21:32,732 --> 01:21:34,097
(HARMONIZING)
389
01:21:34,734 --> 01:21:36,531
Okay, gang,
can we do this?
390
01:21:37,137 --> 01:21:38,365
I mean,
we can do this, right?
391
01:21:38,438 --> 01:21:39,530
Right.
392
01:21:39,606 --> 01:21:40,834
Scott?
393
01:21:42,776 --> 01:21:43,834
Scott!
394
01:22:01,594 --> 01:22:03,357
They tore the roof off!
395
01:22:04,497 --> 01:22:05,794
(WHOOPING)
396
01:22:07,467 --> 01:22:08,729
We are Sex Bob-Omb
397
01:22:08,802 --> 01:22:11,771
and we're here to make you think
about death and get sad and stuff!
398
01:22:12,005 --> 01:22:13,233
(PLAYING ROCK MUSIC)
399
01:22:14,440 --> 01:22:16,499
This is the beginning
of the song.
400
01:22:17,443 --> 01:22:20,139
(SINGING) I'm hearing voices, animal noises
401
01:22:20,213 --> 01:22:21,578
The creme de la creme
402
01:22:21,648 --> 01:22:23,172
The feminine abyss
403
01:22:23,249 --> 01:22:26,741
And reaching my threshold Staring
at the truth 'til I'm blind
404
01:22:28,822 --> 01:22:30,255
My body's stupid
405
01:22:30,323 --> 01:22:31,688
Stereo putrid
406
01:22:31,758 --> 01:22:33,282
Spilling out music
407
01:22:33,359 --> 01:22:34,724
Into raw sewage
408
01:22:34,794 --> 01:22:37,957
Reaching my threshold Staring
at the truth 'til I'm blind
409
01:22:43,369 --> 01:22:48,797
My threshold
410
01:22:49,142 --> 01:22:51,007
Reaching
411
01:22:51,845 --> 01:22:54,678
My threshold
412
01:22:58,484 --> 01:22:59,974
(CROWD CHEERING)
413
01:23:05,825 --> 01:23:08,817
(GROANING) Let's just break
up now and get it over with.
414
01:23:08,895 --> 01:23:12,422
We screwed the pooch in front
of Gideon Graves. We're done!
415
01:23:12,498 --> 01:23:14,432
Gideon's here? Where?
416
01:23:14,500 --> 01:23:16,593
That geeky guy
next to your girlfriend.
417
01:23:18,805 --> 01:23:20,329
That's Gideon?
418
01:23:20,406 --> 01:23:22,601
Gideon is G-Man?
419
01:23:23,042 --> 01:23:24,976
All right, let's do this.
420
01:23:27,413 --> 01:23:29,881
(SINGING)
Reaching my threshold
421
01:23:29,949 --> 01:23:38,422
My threshold
422
01:23:40,927 --> 01:23:42,087
(ROARING)
423
01:23:43,930 --> 01:23:45,022
(HARMONIZING)
424
01:24:12,125 --> 01:24:13,524
(ROARING)
425
01:24:24,470 --> 01:24:25,630
GIDEON: We're out.
426
01:24:27,340 --> 01:24:28,329
(BEEPING)
427
01:24:30,310 --> 01:24:31,572
What are you doing?
428
01:24:31,644 --> 01:24:32,872
Getting a life.
429
01:24:46,559 --> 01:24:48,925
I just came to
see your show.
430
01:24:52,065 --> 01:24:53,293
I have to...
431
01:25:01,207 --> 01:25:02,799
Ramona.
432
01:25:03,576 --> 01:25:06,443
Ramona, I need to
tell you something.
433
01:25:06,512 --> 01:25:07,843
Yeah, I have something
I have to tell you, too.
434
01:25:07,914 --> 01:25:09,939
Great. Listen, I know you
play mysterious and aloof
435
01:25:10,016 --> 01:25:11,449
just to avoid getting hurt.
436
01:25:11,517 --> 01:25:15,613
I know you have reasons for not
wanting to talk about your past.
437
01:25:15,688 --> 01:25:19,351
I want you to know I don't
care about any of that stuff
438
01:25:19,425 --> 01:25:21,325
because
I'm in lesbians with you.
439
01:25:21,794 --> 01:25:22,818
What?
440
01:25:22,895 --> 01:25:24,260
I really, really mean it.
441
01:25:26,666 --> 01:25:28,258
Oh! Okay.
442
01:25:28,334 --> 01:25:29,858
It's your turn. What
did you want to tell me?
443
01:25:31,671 --> 01:25:33,195
That we have to break up.
444
01:25:34,307 --> 01:25:35,467
What?
445
01:25:35,541 --> 01:25:37,008
It's Gideon.
446
01:25:37,877 --> 01:25:39,504
I just can't...
447
01:25:41,914 --> 01:25:43,381
I can't help myself
around him.
448
01:25:43,449 --> 01:25:45,314
GIDEON: That's the bad news.
449
01:25:46,119 --> 01:25:47,347
Hey.
450
01:25:47,420 --> 01:25:50,821
The good news is that I'm
officially loving the Sex-Bombs.
451
01:25:50,890 --> 01:25:52,482
Bob-Omb.
Three-piece rock outfit
452
01:25:52,558 --> 01:25:54,958
with a smoking hot
red-head on drums.
453
01:25:55,028 --> 01:25:56,859
Music to my ear-holes.
454
01:25:56,929 --> 01:25:57,918
(MOANS)
455
01:25:57,997 --> 01:25:59,931
You know what?
I'm not even going to wait
456
01:25:59,999 --> 01:26:01,466
to see how you guys
do in the final.
457
01:26:01,534 --> 01:26:03,968
I'm signing you right now
for a three-album contract.
458
01:26:04,604 --> 01:26:07,471
See? I'm not such
a bad guy after all.
459
01:26:08,207 --> 01:26:10,869
You think we're going to sell our
souls to you? Well, guess again.
460
01:26:10,943 --> 01:26:14,242
No, I can't be a part of the
band with this douche in charge.
461
01:26:14,781 --> 01:26:16,476
Ow! Scott.
462
01:26:16,983 --> 01:26:19,645
You got to try and keep
your emotions in check, man.
463
01:26:19,719 --> 01:26:22,415
Don't let what's past
ruin your future.
464
01:26:22,488 --> 01:26:24,080
The people need
to hear us, Scott.
465
01:26:24,157 --> 01:26:26,751
Then you're gonna have to
find someone else to play bass.
466
01:26:26,826 --> 01:26:28,157
(CLEARING THROAT)
467
01:26:28,561 --> 01:26:29,550
Whoops.
468
01:26:30,596 --> 01:26:34,362
Sign, sign, sign,
and we are all set.
469
01:26:34,767 --> 01:26:36,860
Sweetie, shall we?
470
01:26:43,643 --> 01:26:45,634
Oh! Scott.
471
01:26:46,145 --> 01:26:48,409
You know, we really should
be thanking each other.
472
01:26:48,481 --> 01:26:51,177
I mean, if it wasn't for me, Ramona
would never have been with you
473
01:26:51,250 --> 01:26:53,275
but if it wasn't for you she
wouldn't have gotten back with me,
474
01:26:53,352 --> 01:26:55,217
so I guess
it all shakes out.
475
01:26:56,689 --> 01:26:58,520
Scotty, buddy,
476
01:27:00,860 --> 01:27:04,591
between you and I, the whole
League of Evil Exes thing?
477
01:27:05,264 --> 01:27:08,563
I was in a really dark place
when I put that together, so...
478
01:27:09,535 --> 01:27:10,832
Forgiven?
479
01:27:11,270 --> 01:27:13,101
All right, let's go.
480
01:27:13,840 --> 01:27:15,034
Yes!
481
01:27:15,842 --> 01:27:18,902
This is it, guys.
We are on our way.
482
01:27:22,615 --> 01:27:24,310
I said "lesbians.' '
483
01:27:35,128 --> 01:27:36,117
(THUDDING)
484
01:27:52,745 --> 01:27:54,303
STACEY: Scott.
485
01:27:55,381 --> 01:27:56,712
Was she really the one?
486
01:27:57,483 --> 01:27:58,643
The what?
487
01:27:58,718 --> 01:28:01,016
I mean, did you really see
a future with this girl?
488
01:28:02,155 --> 01:28:05,556
Like, with jetpacks.
489
01:28:11,964 --> 01:28:14,524
Time heals all wounds,
little brother.
490
01:28:14,600 --> 01:28:19,060
Maybe next time we don't date the
girl with 11 evil ex-boyfriends.
491
01:28:19,372 --> 01:28:20,396
Seven.
492
01:28:20,540 --> 01:28:21,598
That's not that bad.
493
01:28:21,874 --> 01:28:22,863
(CELL PHONE BEEPS)
494
01:28:23,910 --> 01:28:25,639
Hey. Yeah, I know.
495
01:28:25,845 --> 01:28:28,211
It's so pathetic!
496
01:28:30,783 --> 01:28:31,841
(SCREAMS)
497
01:28:31,918 --> 01:28:32,942
WALLACE:
Turn off the light!
498
01:28:33,753 --> 01:28:35,220
(WALLACE CLEARS THROAT)
499
01:28:35,922 --> 01:28:38,618
Presumably, you just saw some guy's junk
500
01:28:38,958 --> 01:28:40,186
and I apologize for that.
501
01:28:40,259 --> 01:28:41,283
SCOTT: Okay.
502
01:28:41,360 --> 01:28:43,089
And he apologizes, too.
503
01:28:43,162 --> 01:28:44,220
MAN: Sorry.
504
01:28:45,631 --> 01:28:48,532
WALLACE: Scott,
you know I love you.
505
01:28:49,202 --> 01:28:51,193
But I'm gonna need
my own bed tonight.
506
01:28:51,737 --> 01:28:53,398
It's for sex.
507
01:28:53,940 --> 01:28:55,134
Right.
508
01:28:55,875 --> 01:28:58,935
I may need it for
the rest of the week, too.
509
01:28:59,245 --> 01:29:00,473
Right.
510
01:29:00,546 --> 01:29:01,638
And the year.
511
01:29:02,281 --> 01:29:03,543
I get it.
512
01:29:03,616 --> 01:29:05,311
Maybe you can
move in with Ramona.
513
01:29:06,786 --> 01:29:08,048
She's with Gideon.
514
01:29:08,120 --> 01:29:09,382
Oh, man.
515
01:29:09,455 --> 01:29:11,514
That's probably just because
he's better than you.
516
01:29:11,591 --> 01:29:12,683
Mmm.
517
01:29:12,758 --> 01:29:15,727
Either way,
this fight is over.
518
01:29:16,195 --> 01:29:17,184
Mmm-hmm.
519
01:29:18,764 --> 01:29:20,459
(PHONE RINGING)
520
01:29:24,870 --> 01:29:27,236
MAN: (WHISPERING)
It's for Scott.
521
01:29:27,440 --> 01:29:29,465
It's for you, big guy.
522
01:29:31,544 --> 01:29:32,533
Hello.
523
01:29:32,612 --> 01:29:33,806
GIDEON: Hey, pal.
524
01:29:34,247 --> 01:29:36,738
I just want to say I feel
terrible about earlier.
525
01:29:36,816 --> 01:29:38,807
I don't want
any hard feelings.
526
01:29:38,884 --> 01:29:42,320
So I figured, why not be the
bigger man and just give you a call.
527
01:29:42,388 --> 01:29:43,878
Is Ramona with you?
528
01:29:44,657 --> 01:29:47,387
I don't know.
Are you with me?
529
01:29:48,961 --> 01:29:50,019
Yeah.
530
01:29:50,096 --> 01:29:51,461
(SCOTT SCREAMING)
531
01:29:51,530 --> 01:29:54,158
Geez, buddy,
it's gonna be all right.
532
01:29:54,533 --> 01:29:57,024
No, I just spilled
hot cocoa on my crotch.
533
01:29:57,103 --> 01:29:58,195
Mmm-hmm.
534
01:29:58,271 --> 01:29:59,670
Listen,
as you know,
535
01:29:59,739 --> 01:30:01,764
I'm opening a new
Chaos Theatre in Toronto.
536
01:30:01,841 --> 01:30:04,071
And the Sex-Bobs are playing
our grand opening tonight.
537
01:30:04,143 --> 01:30:07,010
It would feel really weird for
all of us if you weren't there.
538
01:30:07,079 --> 01:30:10,879
They just did a sound check and
the acoustics in here are amazing!
539
01:30:10,950 --> 01:30:12,281
Yeah?
Maybe I'll see you there.
540
01:30:12,418 --> 01:30:13,749
I hope so, amigo.
541
01:30:14,086 --> 01:30:16,520
I don't want any more
bad blood between exes.
542
01:30:16,589 --> 01:30:17,647
What do you say?
543
01:30:17,723 --> 01:30:18,747
Mmm.
544
01:30:18,824 --> 01:30:20,086
Okay, laters.
545
01:30:20,660 --> 01:30:22,150
WALLACE:
What a perfect asshole.
546
01:30:24,697 --> 01:30:27,564
Forget what I said earlier.
Finish him.
547
01:30:28,401 --> 01:30:30,426
(UPBEAT ROCK MUSIC PLAYING)
548
01:30:31,837 --> 01:30:33,134
(CLOCK TICKING)
549
01:30:39,111 --> 01:30:41,375
(UPBEAT ROCK MUSIC
CONTINUES PLAYING)
550
01:30:52,058 --> 01:30:53,218
Password?
551
01:30:53,292 --> 01:30:54,384
Whatever.
552
01:30:54,927 --> 01:30:55,985
Cool.
553
01:31:00,399 --> 01:31:01,764
Second password?
554
01:31:02,101 --> 01:31:03,090
(SIGHS)
555
01:31:04,570 --> 01:31:05,594
Cool.
556
01:31:09,809 --> 01:31:12,334
(SINGING) We're not having
no fun We're not having no fun
557
01:31:12,411 --> 01:31:15,869
No. The first album is much
better than the first album.
558
01:31:15,948 --> 01:31:18,041
Fun
559
01:31:18,684 --> 01:31:21,414
No fun
560
01:31:22,988 --> 01:31:24,421
(VOCALIZING)
561
01:31:26,625 --> 01:31:28,786
Scott! Let it go.
562
01:31:29,495 --> 01:31:31,019
Don't give him
the satisfaction.
563
01:31:31,097 --> 01:31:33,224
What if I want
the satisfaction?
564
01:31:33,299 --> 01:31:34,630
GIDEON: Scott Pilgrim!
565
01:31:34,734 --> 01:31:36,065
(EXCLAIMING EXCITEDLY)
566
01:31:36,402 --> 01:31:38,700
Buddy, welcome to
the Chaos Theatre.
567
01:31:39,071 --> 01:31:42,598
Somebody get this man a
drink. A Coke Zero, right?
568
01:31:45,277 --> 01:31:46,471
(ALL EXCLAIMING)
569
01:31:48,147 --> 01:31:49,842
I'm not here to drink.
570
01:31:50,049 --> 01:31:52,210
Whoa, I've got
no beef with you.
571
01:31:53,018 --> 01:31:55,782
What if I have
a beef with you?
572
01:31:56,088 --> 01:31:58,955
Are you still mad about the
whole thing with The Guild?
573
01:31:59,225 --> 01:32:00,385
You mean The League?
574
01:32:00,459 --> 01:32:02,893
The Guild, League, whatever.
It's ancient history.
575
01:32:02,962 --> 01:32:04,623
I'll show you how ancient of history it is!
576
01:32:04,697 --> 01:32:05,925
Wait, wait, wait!
577
01:32:06,432 --> 01:32:09,128
There's no use crying
over spilt Coke, buddy.
578
01:32:09,201 --> 01:32:13,831
The lady made her choice and we're
all just gonna have to move on.
579
01:32:13,906 --> 01:32:15,874
Well, I ain't moving, buddy.
580
01:32:17,009 --> 01:32:20,274
You wanna fight me for her?
581
01:32:20,346 --> 01:32:22,177
Was that not clear?
582
01:32:24,750 --> 01:32:25,978
Was that not clear?
583
01:32:26,051 --> 01:32:27,143
I don't know.
584
01:32:27,219 --> 01:32:32,384
Now, why on earth
would you want to do that?
585
01:32:32,792 --> 01:32:34,453
Because I'm in love with her.
586
01:32:35,094 --> 01:32:36,083
(GASPS)
587
01:32:36,162 --> 01:32:37,356
(ANNOUNCER SPEAKING)
588
01:32:45,504 --> 01:32:48,496
Aw! I think this
deserves a song.
589
01:32:48,574 --> 01:32:49,802
Kimberly!
590
01:32:50,176 --> 01:32:52,110
We are Sex Bob-Omb.
591
01:32:52,178 --> 01:32:55,511
We are here to make money
and sell out and stuff.
592
01:32:55,581 --> 01:32:56,809
One, two, three, four!
593
01:32:56,882 --> 01:32:57,871
(PLAYING ROCK MUSIC)
594
01:33:09,295 --> 01:33:10,523
(ALL GRUNTING)
595
01:33:54,073 --> 01:33:55,768
Your club sucks,
by the way.
596
01:33:55,841 --> 01:34:00,437
Well, if my cathedral of
cutting-edge taste holds no interest
597
01:34:00,513 --> 01:34:03,311
for your tragically
Canadian sensibilities,
598
01:34:03,382 --> 01:34:07,648
then I shall be forced to grant
you a swift exit from the premises.
599
01:34:07,853 --> 01:34:09,013
(EXHALES)
600
01:34:09,321 --> 01:34:12,222
And a fast entrance
into hell!
601
01:34:12,291 --> 01:34:14,259
KNIVES: Scott!
602
01:34:15,461 --> 01:34:16,450
(GRUNTS)
603
01:34:18,464 --> 01:34:19,931
Knives?
604
01:34:19,999 --> 01:34:21,296
That's priceless.
605
01:34:21,367 --> 01:34:23,232
You'll pay for
what you did to him.
606
01:34:23,302 --> 01:34:25,327
Listen, Kung Pao Chicken,
607
01:34:25,404 --> 01:34:28,237
your old, old boyfriend
brought this all on himself.
608
01:34:28,307 --> 01:34:31,105
He was warned plenty of
times, but did he listen? No.
609
01:34:31,176 --> 01:34:33,667
I'm not talking to you.
I'm talking to her!
610
01:34:34,947 --> 01:34:36,005
What?
611
01:34:36,081 --> 01:34:37,810
You broke the heart
that broke mine.
612
01:34:37,883 --> 01:34:40,181
Get ready to Chau down!
613
01:34:40,553 --> 01:34:41,815
(YELLING)
614
01:34:45,424 --> 01:34:46,652
You're kidding, right?
615
01:34:46,725 --> 01:34:47,714
(GRUNTING)
616
01:34:49,929 --> 01:34:51,021
Wow!
617
01:34:51,096 --> 01:34:54,259
I mean, you can't say I don't
know how to put on a show, right?
618
01:34:54,333 --> 01:34:55,732
That's incredible.
619
01:34:57,336 --> 01:34:58,325
(BOTH GRUNTING)
620
01:35:06,845 --> 01:35:08,642
What the hell is your deal?
621
01:35:11,016 --> 01:35:12,381
You stole him!
622
01:35:13,919 --> 01:35:15,079
Stole him!
623
01:35:15,154 --> 01:35:16,951
I don't know what
you're talking about.
624
01:35:17,022 --> 01:35:19,490
You liar! Liar!
625
01:35:19,758 --> 01:35:23,159
I didn't steal your boyfriend!
I didn't steal Scott!
626
01:35:23,629 --> 01:35:25,654
I didn't steal anyone!
627
01:35:28,000 --> 01:35:28,989
(ALL GRUNTING)
628
01:35:33,405 --> 01:35:35,839
KNIVES: You steal
my boyfriend!
629
01:35:35,908 --> 01:35:37,102
Wait! Wait!
630
01:35:37,176 --> 01:35:40,145
Can we please stop all this
fighting? Nobody stole anybody.
631
01:35:40,212 --> 01:35:43,045
Knives, I dated you
and then I dated Ramona, okay?
632
01:35:46,719 --> 01:35:49,381
Maybe I forgot to tell
Knives right away.
633
01:35:50,422 --> 01:35:51,889
You cheated on me, Scott?
634
01:35:53,559 --> 01:35:55,618
You cheated on both of us?
635
01:35:55,694 --> 01:35:57,389
You cheated on me
with Knives?
636
01:35:57,463 --> 01:35:59,055
No,
637
01:36:00,366 --> 01:36:02,891
I cheated on Knives
with you.
638
01:36:03,369 --> 01:36:04,461
Is there a difference?
639
01:36:05,237 --> 01:36:06,431
You weren't wronged?
640
01:36:07,940 --> 01:36:09,066
Right?
641
01:36:09,408 --> 01:36:10,466
(GROANS)
642
01:36:10,542 --> 01:36:13,067
(ALL GASP)
Game over.
643
01:36:17,983 --> 01:36:19,211
Scotty,
644
01:36:19,718 --> 01:36:22,687
you can cheat on these ladies all you like.
645
01:36:23,122 --> 01:36:25,955
But you can't cheat
646
01:36:27,226 --> 01:36:28,318
death.
647
01:36:33,098 --> 01:36:34,224
(GROANING)
648
01:36:35,567 --> 01:36:37,159
Oh, man.
649
01:36:37,403 --> 01:36:41,430
Sorry.
Dying's got to suck.
650
01:36:41,807 --> 01:36:45,140
You know what sucks?
Getting killed by that guy.
651
01:36:46,445 --> 01:36:48,037
Why him?
652
01:36:48,113 --> 01:36:49,705
It's complicated.
653
01:36:49,782 --> 01:36:51,909
Well, I'm not going anywhere,
654
01:36:53,252 --> 01:36:55,243
so now might be
a good time to get into it.
655
01:36:56,555 --> 01:37:00,457
Truth is, it was me
who was obsessed.
656
01:37:02,194 --> 01:37:05,527
I was crazy about him.
But he ignored me.
657
01:37:06,699 --> 01:37:10,692
I was more alone when we were
together than I ever was on my own.
658
01:37:11,370 --> 01:37:13,930
That's why I had to leave.
659
01:37:14,039 --> 01:37:17,133
And that's when
he started paying attention.
660
01:37:17,443 --> 01:37:18,842
So, why go back?
661
01:37:19,144 --> 01:37:20,771
I can't help myself
around him, Scott,
662
01:37:20,846 --> 01:37:24,782
he just has this way of
getting into my head.
663
01:37:25,684 --> 01:37:27,914
Well, that's
legitimately disappointing.
664
01:37:28,287 --> 01:37:30,152
I really will leave you alone forever now.
665
01:37:30,222 --> 01:37:32,747
No, he literally has a way
of getting into my head.
666
01:37:34,293 --> 01:37:36,284
That is evil.
667
01:37:37,963 --> 01:37:41,160
I didn't mean for you to
get dragged into this, Scott.
668
01:37:41,800 --> 01:37:44,200
I just wanted
something simple.
669
01:37:45,604 --> 01:37:47,697
I'm sorry
it had to end this way.
670
01:37:48,340 --> 01:37:50,308
Well, I really
fought for you.
671
01:37:50,476 --> 01:37:53,309
Maybe I'm not the one you
should have been fighting for.
672
01:37:56,215 --> 01:37:58,115
What? Wait.
673
01:37:58,984 --> 01:38:02,886
But I feel like
I learned something.
674
01:38:04,490 --> 01:38:06,481
Which would be great
if I wasn't dead.
675
01:38:10,329 --> 01:38:11,887
So alone.
676
01:38:11,964 --> 01:38:13,192
RAMONA: You're not alone.
677
01:38:13,265 --> 01:38:14,254
(BEEPING)
678
01:38:15,968 --> 01:38:17,060
Right!
679
01:38:26,945 --> 01:38:28,207
Your hair looks stupid.
680
01:38:30,516 --> 01:38:31,881
Second password?
681
01:38:35,754 --> 01:38:36,846
COMEAU: Yeah, I saw it.
682
01:38:36,922 --> 01:38:39,049
It's just the comic book
is better than the movie.
683
01:38:39,124 --> 01:38:40,489
(SINGING) No fun
684
01:38:41,393 --> 01:38:42,917
Scott! Let it go.
685
01:38:42,995 --> 01:38:44,326
Don't worry,
I know what I'm doing.
686
01:38:44,396 --> 01:38:45,556
Stephen,
the new lineup rocks.
687
01:38:45,631 --> 01:38:46,996
You guys sound
way better without me.
688
01:38:47,299 --> 01:38:48,994
Young Neil,
you have learned well.
689
01:38:49,067 --> 01:38:52,434
From this point forward
you will be known as "Neil.' '
690
01:38:52,771 --> 01:38:53,897
And, Kim,
691
01:38:54,807 --> 01:38:56,968
I'm sorry about everything.
692
01:38:58,243 --> 01:38:59,710
I'm sorry about me.
693
01:39:01,046 --> 01:39:03,241
Scott Pilgrim!
Hey, buddy!
694
01:39:03,315 --> 01:39:06,773
Save it! You're
pretentious! This club sucks!
695
01:39:06,852 --> 01:39:08,376
I've got beef.
Let's do it.
696
01:39:08,453 --> 01:39:10,114
Wait, wait, wait!
697
01:39:11,557 --> 01:39:15,152
You want to
fight me for her?
698
01:39:15,427 --> 01:39:16,519
No.
699
01:39:17,229 --> 01:39:18,594
I want to fight you for me.
700
01:39:19,531 --> 01:39:21,499
(ANNOUNCER SPEAKING)
701
01:39:24,870 --> 01:39:26,394
Um...
Kim!
702
01:39:26,471 --> 01:39:28,962
We are Sex Bob-Omb
and we are here to watch
703
01:39:29,041 --> 01:39:31,475
Scott Pilgrim
kick your teeth in!
704
01:39:31,543 --> 01:39:32,703
One! Two! Three! Four!
705
01:39:32,778 --> 01:39:33,767
(PLAYING ROCK MUSIC)
706
01:39:52,598 --> 01:39:53,587
(COUGHING)
707
01:39:53,699 --> 01:39:55,291
How's it going back there?
708
01:39:56,568 --> 01:39:58,729
You dick!
709
01:39:59,705 --> 01:40:01,070
Knives?
710
01:40:01,139 --> 01:40:02,697
I know you're in here.
Don't attack...
711
01:40:02,774 --> 01:40:04,469
Scott!
712
01:40:05,210 --> 01:40:06,507
(GRUNTING)
713
01:40:06,678 --> 01:40:08,441
Steal my boyfriend!
714
01:40:08,513 --> 01:40:09,810
Taste my steel!
715
01:40:10,849 --> 01:40:11,873
Enough!
716
01:40:11,950 --> 01:40:13,042
No, Scott.
717
01:40:13,452 --> 01:40:16,046
This fat-ass hurt me
and I will have my revenge!
718
01:40:16,121 --> 01:40:19,955
No, Knives, I hurt you.
I cheated on you.
719
01:40:21,627 --> 01:40:23,618
I cheated on both of you.
720
01:40:25,597 --> 01:40:27,360
I'm really sorry.
721
01:40:27,966 --> 01:40:29,433
And you're not a fat-ass.
722
01:40:30,035 --> 01:40:31,900
She didn't mean that.
723
01:40:34,306 --> 01:40:35,671
So, are we all good?
724
01:40:37,009 --> 01:40:38,408
(DEVICE POWERING OFF)
725
01:40:38,911 --> 01:40:40,378
Never felt better.
726
01:40:40,445 --> 01:40:41,878
Yoo-hoo!
727
01:40:42,948 --> 01:40:45,508
Are we done with
the hugging and learning?
728
01:40:46,785 --> 01:40:48,844
I thought we had
a fight going on here!
729
01:40:49,087 --> 01:40:50,486
You've got a fight,
all right!
730
01:40:52,257 --> 01:40:53,281
Wrong move, baby.
731
01:41:03,101 --> 01:41:04,398
(GRUNTING)
732
01:41:09,708 --> 01:41:10,800
Hey.
733
01:41:20,018 --> 01:41:21,144
(YELLING)
734
01:41:25,223 --> 01:41:28,215
You made me
swallow my gum.
735
01:41:30,462 --> 01:41:33,522
It's gonna be in my digestive
tract for seven years.
736
01:41:33,832 --> 01:41:35,163
(ALL GRUNTING)
737
01:42:17,409 --> 01:42:19,934
Yeah, still my girl.
738
01:42:23,181 --> 01:42:24,375
Let's both be girls.
739
01:42:24,916 --> 01:42:25,905
(SCREAMING)
740
01:42:29,621 --> 01:42:31,851
ELECTRONIC VOICE:
Bad! Bad!
741
01:42:44,036 --> 01:42:45,025
What?
742
01:42:45,103 --> 01:42:46,229
ANNOUNCER: Get ready!
743
01:42:47,139 --> 01:42:48,436
Here we go!
744
01:42:57,582 --> 01:42:59,948
Good! Good! Good!
745
01:43:00,385 --> 01:43:01,647
ELECTRONIC VOICE: Combo!
746
01:43:05,957 --> 01:43:07,049
Perfect!
747
01:43:18,403 --> 01:43:19,563
(CHUCKLES)
748
01:43:19,638 --> 01:43:22,766
(DISTORTED) Who do you
think you are, Pilgrim?
749
01:43:22,841 --> 01:43:25,241
You think you're
better than me?
750
01:43:26,211 --> 01:43:28,475
I'll tell you what you are.
751
01:43:28,547 --> 01:43:30,538
A pain in my ass!
752
01:43:31,216 --> 01:43:34,913
You know
how long it took
753
01:43:35,153 --> 01:43:37,747
to get all the evil exes'
contact information
754
01:43:37,823 --> 01:43:40,417
so I could form
this stupid league?
755
01:43:40,492 --> 01:43:44,053
Like, two hours!
Two hours!
756
01:43:44,763 --> 01:43:45,752
(COUGHS)
757
01:43:46,665 --> 01:43:48,792
You're not cool
enough for Ramona.
758
01:43:49,167 --> 01:43:51,431
You're zero!
You're nothing!
759
01:43:51,837 --> 01:43:53,964
Me? I'm what's hip.
760
01:43:54,039 --> 01:43:55,472
I'm what's happening!
761
01:43:55,540 --> 01:43:57,474
I'm blowing up right now!
762
01:43:58,043 --> 01:43:59,510
You are blowing up.
763
01:44:00,212 --> 01:44:01,440
Right now!
764
01:44:02,814 --> 01:44:05,305
ANNOUNCER: K- O!
765
01:44:14,359 --> 01:44:17,419
(IN SLOW-MOTION) Wow!
766
01:44:19,564 --> 01:44:24,331
Yeah, wow.
767
01:44:27,939 --> 01:44:29,201
(CYMBALS CRASHING)
768
01:44:30,742 --> 01:44:32,232
There goes our deal!
769
01:44:32,310 --> 01:44:34,471
We're still
getting paid, right?
770
01:44:34,546 --> 01:44:36,912
There goes our deal.
771
01:44:37,182 --> 01:44:39,548
Oh! Oh, God!
772
01:44:50,362 --> 01:44:51,761
You two make
a good combo.
773
01:44:52,764 --> 01:44:53,924
Yeah?
774
01:44:54,900 --> 01:44:55,958
Yeah.
775
01:44:56,034 --> 01:44:59,162
GIDEON: Scott Pilgrim.
776
01:45:00,272 --> 01:45:01,432
(GIDEON CHUCKLING)
777
01:45:02,274 --> 01:45:05,072
You can defeat me, Scott,
778
01:45:05,544 --> 01:45:09,071
but can you defeat yourself?
779
01:45:14,452 --> 01:45:15,680
KNIVES: Uh-oh!
780
01:45:16,521 --> 01:45:17,681
Nega Scott.
781
01:45:17,822 --> 01:45:19,380
ELECTRONIC VOICE:
Nega Scott!
782
01:45:23,428 --> 01:45:24,656
No.
783
01:45:24,896 --> 01:45:26,796
This is something
I have to face.
784
01:45:30,035 --> 01:45:31,161
Myself.
785
01:45:33,305 --> 01:45:35,535
Solo round!
786
01:45:36,975 --> 01:45:40,467
SCOTT: They have this incredible
French toast with bananas on it
787
01:45:40,545 --> 01:45:41,773
and you get bacon
on the side.
788
01:45:41,846 --> 01:45:42,972
I'm liking that.
789
01:45:43,048 --> 01:45:44,743
Let's do it next week.
Yeah, Tuesday.
790
01:45:44,816 --> 01:45:45,942
Yeah, all right. Be good.
791
01:45:46,017 --> 01:45:47,109
Yeah, yeah.
792
01:45:47,452 --> 01:45:48,476
Hey.
793
01:45:48,553 --> 01:45:49,815
(NEGA SCOTT WHISTLING)
794
01:45:49,888 --> 01:45:51,355
What happened?
795
01:45:51,423 --> 01:45:54,324
Nothing, we just shot the shit.
He's just a really nice guy.
796
01:45:54,392 --> 01:45:56,121
We're gonna get
brunch next week.
797
01:45:56,261 --> 01:45:57,990
We actually have
a lot in common.
798
01:45:58,063 --> 01:46:01,055
Your hair,
it's getting really shaggy.
799
01:46:01,666 --> 01:46:03,361
It is?
Yeah.
800
01:46:04,803 --> 01:46:07,101
You should probably
get it cut.
801
01:46:07,906 --> 01:46:09,373
Yeah, you're right.
802
01:46:09,641 --> 01:46:10,869
I should get it cut.
803
01:46:10,942 --> 01:46:12,432
At a salon.
804
01:46:12,510 --> 01:46:14,876
Salon, yeah.
That sounds really nice.
805
01:46:14,946 --> 01:46:16,345
Hey.
806
01:46:17,649 --> 01:46:18,877
You're going?
807
01:46:19,417 --> 01:46:21,385
I should probably disappear.
808
01:46:21,820 --> 01:46:23,185
After all that?
809
01:46:23,955 --> 01:46:25,946
I still need a new life.
810
01:46:26,758 --> 01:46:30,250
I came here to escape, but
the past keeps catching up.
811
01:46:31,229 --> 01:46:33,356
I'm tired of people
getting hurt because of me.
812
01:46:33,431 --> 01:46:35,797
I'm pretty sure
I'm gonna get over it.
813
01:46:36,468 --> 01:46:38,436
I don't mean just you.
814
01:46:41,306 --> 01:46:43,001
I understand.
815
01:46:44,843 --> 01:46:46,606
I should thank you, though.
816
01:46:46,678 --> 01:46:48,077
For what?
817
01:46:50,215 --> 01:46:53,184
For being the nicest guy
I ever dated.
818
01:46:55,186 --> 01:46:56,949
That's kind of sad.
819
01:46:59,524 --> 01:47:01,321
It is kind of sad.
820
01:47:04,629 --> 01:47:06,119
Bye, and stuff.
821
01:47:07,365 --> 01:47:10,766
Yeah. And stuff.
822
01:47:16,174 --> 01:47:18,074
KNIVES: Go, get her.
823
01:47:19,010 --> 01:47:20,477
SCOTT: What?
824
01:47:20,545 --> 01:47:23,275
You've been fighting
for her all along.
825
01:47:25,583 --> 01:47:27,016
But what about you?
826
01:47:27,852 --> 01:47:29,615
I'll be fine.
827
01:47:33,758 --> 01:47:36,283
I'm too cool
for you anyway.
828
01:47:40,765 --> 01:47:41,993
Ciao, Knives.
829
01:47:42,767 --> 01:47:43,927
Go.
830
01:47:49,574 --> 01:47:50,836
SCOTT: Hey.
831
01:47:50,909 --> 01:47:53,275
Hey, mind if I tag along?
832
01:47:55,880 --> 01:47:57,313
You want to come with me?
833
01:47:57,716 --> 01:48:01,812
Yeah, I thought
maybe we could try again.
834
01:48:25,477 --> 01:48:30,574
ELECTRONIC VOICE: Continue?
Nine, eight, seven, six,
835
01:48:30,648 --> 01:48:35,108
five, four, three, two, one.