1 -1:59:45,967 --> -1:59:47,467 Black. 2 -1:59:48,436 --> -1:59:52,935 All important movies start with a black screen. 3 -1:59:53,775 --> -1:59:57,962 And music. Edgy, scary, music that would make a parent or studio 4 00:00:00,000 --> 00:00:02,073 (...) executive nervous. 5 00:00:03,885 --> 00:00:09,355 And logos. Really long and dramatic logos. 6 00:00:09,724 --> 00:00:14,618 Warner Bross. Why not Warner Brothers? I dunno. 7 00:00:17,965 --> 00:00:19,956 DC. 8 00:00:20,001 --> 00:00:23,801 The house that Batman built. 9 00:00:23,838 --> 00:00:28,002 Yeah, what Superman. Come at me bro. 10 00:00:28,009 --> 00:00:30,978 I'm your Kryptonite. 11 00:00:36,690 --> 00:00:41,593 Hmm. Not sure what Ratpac does, but that logo is macho. 12 00:00:42,657 --> 00:00:44,182 I dig it. 13 00:00:44,926 --> 00:00:46,018 Okay. 14 00:00:46,027 --> 00:00:48,898 Get yourself ready for some... 15 00:00:48,923 --> 00:00:50,754 Get yourself ready for some... reading. 16 00:00:50,965 --> 00:00:53,866 "If you want to make the world a better place, 17 00:00:53,901 --> 00:00:57,372 take a look at yourself and make a change." 18 00:00:57,397 --> 00:00:58,829 take a look at yourself and make a change. Hooo!" 19 00:00:58,973 --> 00:01:01,406 No, I said that! 20 00:01:01,642 --> 00:01:03,501 Batman is very wise. 21 00:01:03,911 --> 00:01:07,972 I also have huge pecs. And a 9 pack. 22 00:01:08,083 --> 00:01:10,074 Yeah I've got an extra ab. 23 00:01:10,618 --> 00:01:12,452 Now, let's start the movie. 24 00:01:12,653 --> 00:01:17,853 [GOTHAM AIRSPACE, 10:25] 25 00:01:21,600 --> 00:01:26,000 Gotham Tower, this is MacGuffin Airlines, Flight 1138. 26 00:01:26,567 --> 00:01:30,865 We are transporting 11 million sticks of dynamite, 17000 pounds of C4, 27 00:01:31,005 --> 00:01:35,672 About 150 cute little plastic bomb type bombs, and 2 best friends! 28 00:01:35,676 --> 00:01:39,735 And request permission to fly over the most crime-ridden city in the world, over. 29 00:01:39,880 --> 00:01:42,874 I'm just looking at all the guys faces here in the control tower. 30 00:01:42,883 --> 00:01:44,942 - I'm good. - Sounds good to me - Let's do it! 31 00:01:44,986 --> 00:01:47,786 Yep, I think we're cool with that. 32 00:01:49,500 --> 00:01:55,574 Advertise your product or brand here contact www.OpenSubtitles.org today 33 00:02:08,643 --> 00:02:14,409 Gentlemen, breach in 5, 4, 3, 2, 1. 34 00:02:15,950 --> 00:02:17,918 - What was that? - One of us should check it out. 35 00:02:17,918 --> 00:02:19,977 - Okay. - Scissors paper rock... 36 00:02:20,021 --> 00:02:21,750 - Scissors. - Paper. 37 00:02:21,756 --> 00:02:25,550 - You always do paper! - I'm a loser at home, and a loser at work. 38 00:02:27,271 --> 00:02:28,871 Holy cow! 39 00:02:33,000 --> 00:02:34,991 Captain Dale, is everything okay? 40 00:02:35,036 --> 00:02:38,995 I'm afraid Captain Dale had to bail. 41 00:02:39,006 --> 00:02:43,339 I'm your new co-pilot, and I always come to work... 42 00:02:43,478 --> 00:02:45,770 ...with a smile. 43 00:02:49,950 --> 00:02:52,009 - You should be terrified. - Why? 44 00:02:52,019 --> 00:02:56,320 Because I will be taking over the city. 45 00:02:56,724 --> 00:02:58,851 - What? - Batman will stop you. 46 00:02:58,993 --> 00:03:00,984 - He always stops you. - No he doesn't! 47 00:03:00,995 --> 00:03:05,432 - What about that time with the 2 boats? - This is better than the 2 boats. 48 00:03:05,950 --> 00:03:11,946 Well tonight is gonna be different! Tonight is my greatest plan yet. 49 00:03:11,972 --> 00:03:14,907 Trust me, Batman's never gonna see it coming. [GOTHAM CITY ENERGY PLANT] 50 00:03:14,909 --> 00:03:18,543 - Like the time with the parade and the Prince music? - Hey, quiet! 51 00:03:18,579 --> 00:03:19,807 - Night, Steve. - Take it easy, Jeff. 52 00:03:21,015 --> 00:03:25,015 Man I really like that guy. I sure hope nothing bad happens to him. 53 00:03:27,655 --> 00:03:30,281 ♪ Nothing bad ever happens to me. 54 00:03:30,891 --> 00:03:31,858 What the-? 55 00:03:31,892 --> 00:03:35,919 Your city is under attack by Gotham's greatest criminal minds. 56 00:03:35,963 --> 00:03:37,897 Including... 57 00:03:37,898 --> 00:03:39,729 The Riddler. 58 00:03:40,635 --> 00:03:43,135 - Scarecrow. - Pizza delivery! 59 00:03:44,905 --> 00:03:46,873 - Bane. - Hello! 60 00:03:46,907 --> 00:03:49,967 - Two-Face. - We need that door open, baby! 61 00:03:49,977 --> 00:03:51,945 - Catwoman. - (Meow meow) You're in! (meow meow) 62 00:03:51,979 --> 00:03:53,979 I'm jumping out the way! 63 00:03:55,049 --> 00:03:58,917 And let's not forget, Clayface! 64 00:03:58,953 --> 00:04:00,853 Pew pew pew! 65 00:04:00,855 --> 00:04:02,948 - Poison Ivy. - Pew pew pew! 66 00:04:02,957 --> 00:04:05,555 - Freeze! - No, you freeze! 67 00:04:05,593 --> 00:04:06,753 Mr Freeze. 68 00:04:06,994 --> 00:04:07,983 Penguin. 69 00:04:07,995 --> 00:04:09,895 Crazy Quilt, Eraser. 70 00:04:09,930 --> 00:04:12,023 Polka-Dot Man. Mime. Tarantula. 71 00:04:12,032 --> 00:04:15,332 King Tut, Orca, Killer Moth, March Harriot, Zodiac Master, 72 00:04:15,345 --> 00:04:17,815 Gentleman Ghost, Clock King, Calender Man, Kite Man, 73 00:04:17,870 --> 00:04:22,102 Cat Man, Zebra Man, and the Condiment King! 74 00:04:22,810 --> 00:04:25,970 - Okay, are you making some of those up? - Nope, they're all real. 75 00:04:26,013 --> 00:04:27,844 Probably worth a Google. 76 00:04:27,848 --> 00:04:30,009 [GOTHAM CITY POLICE DEPARTMENT] 77 00:04:30,050 --> 00:04:31,881 - Hey watch it! - Commissioner Gordon! 78 00:04:31,886 --> 00:04:33,877 - What is it O'Hara? - We just got a report! 79 00:04:33,921 --> 00:04:36,722 All the C-grade villains have broken into the energy plant! 80 00:04:36,757 --> 00:04:38,816 - What are we gonna do, Sir? - The only thing we ever do... 81 00:04:38,959 --> 00:04:40,950 flip the switch to the Bat-Signal! 82 00:04:40,961 --> 00:04:42,929 - Flip! - Commissioner, are you there? 83 00:04:42,963 --> 00:04:45,496 The Bat-Signal, she's been egged! 84 00:04:45,800 --> 00:04:48,826 It's Egghead, Sir, I'm well aware of his work. 85 00:04:48,836 --> 00:04:52,795 Dear gosh, you destroyed the Bat-Signal! You have thought of everything! 86 00:04:52,840 --> 00:04:57,971 Yeah, I know, and when I take over Gotham City... OPENING REACTOR CORE DOORS 87 00:04:58,012 --> 00:05:02,972 Batman will grovel at the feet of his greatest enemy. 88 00:05:02,983 --> 00:05:05,785 Me. The Joker! 89 00:05:07,755 --> 00:05:10,016 - Joker, do you read me? - 10-4, girl buddy. 90 00:05:10,024 --> 00:05:14,684 - We're ready for you, sugar plum. - Well then, let's raise the roof! 91 00:05:15,029 --> 00:05:17,329 Fire in the hole! 92 00:05:24,605 --> 00:05:29,636 - O'Hara, have you tried the Bat-Phone? - Yes, but all I'm getting is this hold music! 93 00:05:30,611 --> 00:05:31,811 I love it. 94 00:05:34,782 --> 00:05:36,841 - I want snipers trained on that building. - You bet! 95 00:05:36,851 --> 00:05:38,942 - I want water and air support yesterday! - I'm on it, Sir! 96 00:05:38,986 --> 00:05:41,853 - And I need SWAT here now! - Phone call for Commissioner Gordan. 97 00:05:41,856 --> 00:05:42,845 Hello, Batman? 98 00:05:42,890 --> 00:05:45,882 Hey Jimmy, It's The Jokes! 99 00:05:45,893 --> 00:05:46,860 Nobody calls you that. 100 00:05:46,894 --> 00:05:51,831 - No, people do call me that. Okay listen up! - Go, go, go! 101 00:05:51,866 --> 00:05:56,894 At this very moment, an unnecessarily complicated bomb is being attached 102 00:05:56,904 --> 00:05:59,947 to the inside of the main energy core, 103 00:05:59,972 --> 00:06:03,667 if the Mayor isn't here in 5 minutes to negotiate the city's surrender, 104 00:06:03,911 --> 00:06:07,713 then I shall destroy Gotham City. 105 00:06:07,715 --> 00:06:08,915 I did something! 106 00:06:09,218 --> 00:06:12,711 Doctor, that sounds frightening. And overly complicated. Talk us through it. 107 00:06:12,953 --> 00:06:16,013 Well, I don't wanna scare any small children who may be listening 108 00:06:16,023 --> 00:06:18,973 but it's a little-known fact that Gotham City is built 109 00:06:18,998 --> 00:06:21,984 on a bunch of flimsy plates stuck together. 110 00:06:22,029 --> 00:06:24,866 There's literally nothing beneath us, 111 00:06:24,891 --> 00:06:28,011 except an infinite abyss that smells like dirty underwear. 112 00:06:28,035 --> 00:06:31,832 If Joker's bomb were to go off, these plates would break apart, 113 00:06:31,857 --> 00:06:36,457 plunging every Gotham citizen into the eternal abyss forever. 114 00:06:36,700 --> 00:06:38,500 And you wouldn't want that now, would you? 115 00:06:38,546 --> 00:06:41,615 Now get me the Mayor! Joker out. 116 00:06:41,615 --> 00:06:43,910 Madam Mayor, I cannot ask you to do this! 117 00:06:44,018 --> 00:06:46,987 - Jim, did you find Batman? - No Ma'am. 118 00:06:46,987 --> 00:06:50,855 Then we have no choice. The Joker has the upper hand. 119 00:06:50,891 --> 00:06:53,658 We have to surrender Gotham City. 120 00:06:53,694 --> 00:06:57,387 - Oh no. - I'm sorry! 121 00:06:57,798 --> 00:07:01,657 Flying Mayor package in right now. SWAT team get your stun guns ready. 122 00:07:01,702 --> 00:07:02,896 - Non-lethal! - Yeah! 123 00:07:03,003 --> 00:07:06,769 Lowering Mayor package through the hole. 124 00:07:06,807 --> 00:07:12,939 - Madam Mayor, thanks for dropping by! - I've only got one thing to say to you, Joker. 125 00:07:12,947 --> 00:07:15,973 - Well, you'd better make it fast. - Do you like to gamble? 126 00:07:15,983 --> 00:07:19,549 - Oh, I certainly do. - Do you ever play roulette? 127 00:07:19,587 --> 00:07:20,645 On occasion. 128 00:07:20,854 --> 00:07:23,823 - Let me give you a word of advice. - I'm all ears. 129 00:07:23,857 --> 00:07:26,683 - When playing roulette... - Yes? 130 00:07:26,894 --> 00:07:28,987 Always bet on black. 131 00:07:29,029 --> 00:07:33,966 Batman!? What are you doing? You're completely outnumbered here, are you nuts!? 132 00:07:33,968 --> 00:07:37,927 You wanna get nuts? Come on! Let's get nuts. 133 00:07:37,972 --> 00:07:40,964 Because I just wrote a song about how I'm gonna kick all your butts. 134 00:07:41,051 --> 00:07:42,951 Stop him before he starts singing! 135 00:07:44,500 --> 00:07:46,500 [♪ WHO'S THE (BAT)MAN] 136 00:07:48,200 --> 00:07:50,800 ♪ In the darkest night (huh!) 137 00:07:50,900 --> 00:07:53,500 ♪ I make the bad guys fall (huh!) 138 00:07:54,323 --> 00:07:57,249 ♪ There's a million heroes - Computer, overcompensate! 139 00:07:57,300 --> 00:08:00,235 ♪ BUT I'M THE BEST OF THEM ALL! - I'm on my way, Sir. 140 00:08:00,351 --> 00:08:02,899 ♪ Who has the coolest gadgets? ♪ BATMAN! 141 00:08:02,900 --> 00:08:05,900 ♪ Who has the tricked-out ride? ♪ BATMAN! 142 00:08:05,900 --> 00:08:08,900 ♪ Who does the sickest backflips? ♪ BATMAN! 143 00:08:08,980 --> 00:08:11,280 ♪ Na-na na-na na-na na-na ♪ BATMAN! 144 00:08:17,879 --> 00:08:20,703 ♪ You think my muscles are big? - Thank you! 145 00:08:20,900 --> 00:08:23,233 ♪ You haven't seen my brain 146 00:08:23,270 --> 00:08:25,570 ♪ Ladies, it's okay if you stare 147 00:08:26,687 --> 00:08:29,679 ♪ CAUSE I'M A BILLIONAIRE! 148 00:08:29,790 --> 00:08:33,556 Get it together guys, you're making me look bad in front of Batman! 149 00:08:33,594 --> 00:08:35,006 'Puter, where's the bomb? 150 00:08:35,031 --> 00:08:38,254 The bomb is located at the base of the energy core. 151 00:08:38,755 --> 00:08:41,855 ♪ I get the last laugh ♪ I get the final grin 152 00:08:42,360 --> 00:08:45,160 ♪ Throw you into the asylum ♪ with Harley Quinn 153 00:08:45,400 --> 00:08:47,700 ♪ Turn Two-Face ♪ to black-and-blue face 154 00:08:47,810 --> 00:08:50,841 ♪ I'm 100% not ♪ Bruce Wayne! 155 00:08:51,345 --> 00:08:53,146 Kiss me Batman. 156 00:08:54,570 --> 00:08:57,384 ♪ Who's the manliest man? ♪ BATMAN! 157 00:08:57,400 --> 00:08:59,400 ♪ With the buns of steel? ♪ BATMAN! 158 00:08:59,900 --> 00:09:02,830 ♪ Who could choke hold a bear? ♪ BATMAN! 159 00:09:03,000 --> 00:09:05,673 ♪ Who never skips leg day? ♪ BATMAN! 160 00:09:05,798 --> 00:09:09,424 ♪ Who always pays their taxes? - NOT BATMAN! 161 00:09:10,030 --> 00:09:13,596 How is he beating all of you again!? 162 00:09:13,801 --> 00:09:15,037 Because... 163 00:09:16,262 --> 00:09:17,562 I'm Batman! 164 00:09:17,638 --> 00:09:21,368 - It's gonna blow! - I'm Batman! 165 00:09:22,009 --> 00:09:24,544 ♪ I'm Batman! 166 00:09:24,978 --> 00:09:30,048 Hi Batman, so weird to keep running into you! 167 00:09:34,955 --> 00:09:37,095 Looks like your plan failed. 168 00:09:37,120 --> 00:09:41,486 It's only a matter of time before I take over Gotham City! 169 00:09:41,810 --> 00:09:43,810 Pew, pew, pew! 170 00:09:45,766 --> 00:09:48,859 When does that ever happen? Computer? 171 00:09:48,869 --> 00:09:51,895 Calculating... Never. 172 00:09:51,905 --> 00:09:55,439 You know why? Because I'm always one step ahead of you. 173 00:09:55,442 --> 00:09:58,042 And I always get away! 174 00:09:59,146 --> 00:10:01,107 Not this time. 175 00:10:02,683 --> 00:10:04,576 Because this time... 176 00:10:05,018 --> 00:10:07,751 - I've got you. - Oh, yeah? 177 00:10:07,855 --> 00:10:09,982 Well there's only one problem. 178 00:10:10,023 --> 00:10:12,014 Who's gonna defuse the bomb? 179 00:10:12,025 --> 00:10:18,794 It's gotta be one or the other, Batman. Save the city or catch your greatest enemy. 180 00:10:18,832 --> 00:10:20,959 - You can't do both. - I'm sorry, What'd you just say? 181 00:10:21,001 --> 00:10:23,565 - You can't do both. - No, I mean the other thing. 182 00:10:23,570 --> 00:10:25,561 Save the city or catch your greatest enemy? 183 00:10:25,572 --> 00:10:29,768 - You think you're my greatest enemy? - Yes, you're obsessed with me! 184 00:10:29,910 --> 00:10:30,910 - No I'm not. - Yes you are. 185 00:10:30,934 --> 00:10:32,712 - No I'm not. - YES YOU ARE! 186 00:10:32,713 --> 00:10:34,913 Who else drives you to one-up them the way that I do? 187 00:10:35,049 --> 00:10:36,549 - Bane. - No he doesn't! 188 00:10:36,651 --> 00:10:38,873 - Superman! - Superman's not a bad guy! 189 00:10:38,898 --> 00:10:41,798 Then I'd say that I don't currently have a bad guy. 190 00:10:41,889 --> 00:10:44,858 I am fighting a few different people. 191 00:10:44,892 --> 00:10:46,557 - What? - I like to fight around. 192 00:10:46,560 --> 00:10:49,991 Okay look, I'm fine with you fighting other people, if you wanna do that, 193 00:10:50,030 --> 00:10:53,898 but what we have is special. 194 00:10:53,901 --> 00:10:57,461 - So when people ask you "who's your #1 bad guy", you say... - Superman. 195 00:10:57,470 --> 00:11:02,831 Are you seriously saying that there is nothing, nothing special about our relationship? 196 00:11:02,976 --> 00:11:04,373 Woah. 197 00:11:04,611 --> 00:11:06,806 Let me tell you something, J-Bird. 198 00:11:07,014 --> 00:11:09,983 Batman doesn't do 'ships'. 199 00:11:10,017 --> 00:11:13,910 - What? - As in relation-ships. 200 00:11:14,021 --> 00:11:16,922 There is no us. 201 00:11:16,957 --> 00:11:27,431 Batman and Joker are not a thing. I don't need you. I don't need anyone. 202 00:11:27,734 --> 00:11:30,734 You mean nothing to me. 203 00:11:34,641 --> 00:11:37,610 No-one does. 204 00:12:03,870 --> 00:12:06,335 Hooray! [♪ FOREVER] 205 00:12:10,010 --> 00:12:13,810 - Batman! - Batman we love you! 206 00:12:13,847 --> 00:12:16,548 Thank you, I'm blushing super-hard under the mask! 207 00:12:16,583 --> 00:12:18,574 Grazie Batman! 208 00:12:18,585 --> 00:12:19,945 - Prego. - You're the best Batman! 209 00:12:19,953 --> 00:12:21,887 - Oh I'm humbled. - Thanks Batman! 210 00:12:21,922 --> 00:12:24,657 - Super modest about it, thank you. - Batman, you're the greatest! 211 00:12:24,658 --> 00:12:26,558 pray hands, pray hands. 212 00:12:26,660 --> 00:12:28,753 - Thanks for saving the city! - You're welcome! 213 00:12:28,895 --> 00:12:32,665 - Batman I love you more than my kids! - So do I, guy! 214 00:12:37,513 --> 00:12:39,813 You're my hero, Batman! 215 00:12:40,674 --> 00:12:42,474 I love my life. 216 00:12:42,609 --> 00:12:44,589 - Computer. - Go ahead. 217 00:12:44,611 --> 00:12:46,602 - Are we near the orphanage? - Yes. 218 00:12:46,713 --> 00:12:49,813 Great. Let's turn those frowns upside down. 219 00:12:53,320 --> 00:12:54,789 Sounds like the Batmobile! 220 00:12:57,924 --> 00:12:58,989 No way! 221 00:12:59,593 --> 00:13:01,584 Hey orphans, look who's here! 222 00:13:02,295 --> 00:13:03,720 Hey kids! 223 00:13:03,764 --> 00:13:06,892 Who wants a shot from the merch gun? 224 00:13:07,000 --> 00:13:09,601 - Great. KABOOM! - A lunchbox! 225 00:13:09,602 --> 00:13:11,377 - KABOOM! - A sippy cup! 226 00:13:11,602 --> 00:13:13,102 - KABOOM! - A Batarang! 227 00:13:14,775 --> 00:13:17,835 The rest of you get Bat Bucks! KABOOM! 228 00:13:17,844 --> 00:13:21,007 Remember kids, if you want to be like Batman, take care of your abs. 229 00:13:21,048 --> 00:13:24,548 - Batman out. - Batman! Batman! Batman! 230 00:13:31,358 --> 00:13:33,821 Thanks Batman, you're my hero. 231 00:13:51,745 --> 00:13:55,104 [WAYNE MANOR, WAYNE ISLAND] 232 00:13:55,549 --> 00:13:57,779 - What is the password? - Iron Man sucks! 233 00:13:57,984 --> 00:14:00,048 Thank you. 234 00:14:00,754 --> 00:14:03,555 It must be great to be Batman. 235 00:14:03,590 --> 00:14:07,549 I can only imagine he's going home right now, to party the night away 236 00:14:07,761 --> 00:14:11,293 surrounded by scores of friends and lady tennis players. 237 00:14:20,374 --> 00:14:22,233 Hey Computer. 238 00:14:22,643 --> 00:14:24,804 I'm home. 239 00:14:27,681 --> 00:14:32,448 Welcome home, Sir. Initializing Batcave operating system. 240 00:14:34,488 --> 00:14:36,347 Hey 'Puter. 241 00:14:36,857 --> 00:14:39,117 What's up, Batman. 242 00:14:39,926 --> 00:14:43,594 - Put this bomb in the museum. - Certainly, Sir. 243 00:14:43,697 --> 00:14:45,824 - Thank you. - No worries. 244 00:14:45,932 --> 00:14:47,957 Anything exciting happen when I was gone? 245 00:14:48,001 --> 00:14:51,532 - You have 4 pieces of mail. - Great, what'd I get? 246 00:14:51,538 --> 00:14:56,298 You have this weeks PennySaver, 2 bills, and a coupon for Bed Bath and Beyond. 247 00:14:56,443 --> 00:14:58,005 It expires in 2 weeks, 248 00:14:58,044 --> 00:15:01,878 but I've heard that some stores will honor them past the expiry date. 249 00:15:01,915 --> 00:15:04,975 - Copy that. - Also, Alfred is on the 17th floor 250 00:15:04,985 --> 00:15:09,012 grouting tiles in the 2nd bathroom of the 5th master bedroom. 251 00:15:09,022 --> 00:15:11,618 Do you want me to tell Alfred you're home? 252 00:15:11,658 --> 00:15:13,922 No that's cool Computer. Thanks for the update. 253 00:15:14,027 --> 00:15:15,907 I should probably have some dinner. 254 00:15:15,932 --> 00:15:18,728 Alfred left your lobster thermidor in the fridge. 255 00:15:18,765 --> 00:15:22,334 Oh that's my favorite! I can't wait. 256 00:16:49,990 --> 00:16:53,949 [NO SIGNAL] [DEVICE NOT DETECTED] 257 00:17:06,540 --> 00:17:08,940 You... complete me. 258 00:17:11,578 --> 00:17:14,578 You had me at 'hello'. 259 00:17:15,582 --> 00:17:17,475 Love it. 260 00:17:54,988 --> 00:17:57,013 Hey, Mom. 261 00:17:57,724 --> 00:17:59,749 Hey, Dad. 262 00:18:00,026 --> 00:18:01,857 I, uh... 263 00:18:01,895 --> 00:18:04,955 I saved the city again today. 264 00:18:07,734 --> 00:18:10,703 I wish you could've seen me. 265 00:18:10,937 --> 00:18:13,929 I think you would have been really proud. 266 00:18:15,976 --> 00:18:18,109 There you are. 267 00:18:18,845 --> 00:18:22,975 Oh, Alfred, I am so sorry! I have incredible reflexes. 268 00:18:23,016 --> 00:18:25,498 No it's my fault Sir, I should have known better 269 00:18:25,523 --> 00:18:27,819 than to sneak up on you like that. 270 00:18:27,821 --> 00:18:31,655 I was lost in thought, and as you know, when I'm in there I'm in deep. 271 00:18:31,691 --> 00:18:34,560 Were you looking at the old family pictures again? 272 00:18:34,661 --> 00:18:38,825 The what? The old family... Oh yes, I see what you mean. 273 00:18:38,932 --> 00:18:41,733 Look at that! The old gang. 274 00:18:41,768 --> 00:18:44,360 Yeah. No I wasn't! 275 00:18:44,771 --> 00:18:45,829 I see. 276 00:18:45,972 --> 00:18:49,806 Sir, if you don't mind my saying, I'm a little concerned. 277 00:18:49,843 --> 00:18:54,843 I've seen you go through similar phases in 2016 and 2012 and 2008 and 2005 278 00:18:54,900 --> 00:19:01,900 and 1997, and 1995, and 1992, and 1989, and that weird one in 1966. 279 00:19:02,391 --> 00:19:05,155 Do you want to talk about how you're feeling right now? 280 00:19:05,361 --> 00:19:08,755 I don't talk about feelings Alfred, I don't have any, I've never seen one, 281 00:19:08,795 --> 00:19:13,930 I'm a night-stalking, crime-fighting vigilante and a heavy metal rapping machine. 282 00:19:13,933 --> 00:19:16,959 I don't feel anything emotionally except rage. 283 00:19:17,003 --> 00:19:20,905 24/7, 365, at a million percent. 284 00:19:20,907 --> 00:19:23,899 And if you think that there's something behind that, then you're crazy. 285 00:19:23,943 --> 00:19:26,777 - Good night, Alfred. - Sir, it's morning. 286 00:19:27,078 --> 00:19:28,480 Hiss, ahh! 287 00:19:28,581 --> 00:19:33,246 Master Bruce, you live on an island figuratively and literally. 288 00:19:33,352 --> 00:19:34,383 Yeah, love it. 289 00:19:34,621 --> 00:19:37,241 You can't spend the rest of your life alone, dressed in black, 290 00:19:37,366 --> 00:19:39,952 listening to angry music and staying up all night. 291 00:19:39,993 --> 00:19:42,860 Yes, I can, because I'm Batman. 292 00:19:42,862 --> 00:19:49,434 But don't you think it's time you finally faced your greatest fear? 293 00:19:49,469 --> 00:19:50,558 - Snakes? - No. 294 00:19:50,570 --> 00:19:51,197 - Clowns? - No. 295 00:19:51,237 --> 00:19:53,771 - Snake-Clowns? - Bruce, listen. 296 00:19:54,941 --> 00:19:58,001 Your greatest fear is... 297 00:19:58,044 --> 00:20:00,444 ...being a part of a family again. 298 00:20:10,100 --> 00:20:13,000 No, now it's Snake-Clowns, because you put that idea in my head. 299 00:20:13,026 --> 00:20:15,995 - Sir- - Time for pushups! 1, 2... 300 00:20:15,995 --> 00:20:18,525 - We're going to 1000. - I'm afraid that's not possible, Sir. 301 00:20:18,565 --> 00:20:20,624 It is possible. I'm already at 20. 302 00:20:20,734 --> 00:20:23,669 You're scheduled to go to Jim Gordon's retirement party. 303 00:20:23,703 --> 00:20:27,730 - What? No! I don't wanna do that! - You're going to have a great time. 304 00:20:27,774 --> 00:20:29,867 - No, no, no. - You might meet some new people. 305 00:20:29,976 --> 00:20:32,809 - No, no, no. - Even make some new friends. 306 00:20:32,846 --> 00:20:37,943 No, no, no... 307 00:20:37,967 --> 00:20:38,683 NO! 308 00:20:38,684 --> 00:20:42,619 And before you go, we can do your favorite thing. 309 00:20:42,622 --> 00:20:44,791 Tuxedo dress-up party. 310 00:20:45,425 --> 00:20:47,925 [♪ GIRLS KNOW HOW] 311 00:20:52,999 --> 00:20:55,968 - Sir, aren't you forgetting something? - Nope. 312 00:20:55,969 --> 00:20:58,870 - Your cowl. - My what now? 313 00:20:58,905 --> 00:21:01,905 Your armored face disguise. 314 00:21:04,511 --> 00:21:05,511 Fine. 315 00:21:07,614 --> 00:21:09,448 - Happy now? - Indubitably. 316 00:21:09,449 --> 00:21:11,442 Good. Must be nice to be happy. 317 00:21:11,885 --> 00:21:15,753 Tonight on Metropolis In Focus, we have our favorite star. 318 00:21:15,755 --> 00:21:19,151 - Superman! - What up, Gotham? 319 00:21:19,893 --> 00:21:22,326 Superman, tell me how you feel about 320 00:21:22,351 --> 00:21:24,990 your recent banishment of Zod to the Phantom Zone? 321 00:21:24,998 --> 00:21:28,866 Yeah, look, it's complicated. 322 00:21:28,868 --> 00:21:34,773 Zod and I have had some pretty epic battles, you know, over the years, 323 00:21:34,774 --> 00:21:37,800 I don't believe I would be Superman without fighting Zod. 324 00:21:37,844 --> 00:21:41,774 See? Superman gets it. Why can't Batman? 325 00:21:41,981 --> 00:21:46,816 - Check it out guys, I built a CD rack. - Tada! 326 00:21:47,587 --> 00:21:52,786 How am I supposed to get Batman's respect when I'm working with these human farts? 327 00:21:53,026 --> 00:21:54,994 Boo boo, look at me. 328 00:21:54,994 --> 00:21:58,525 You're too good for Batman. He needs to open his eyes, 329 00:21:58,565 --> 00:22:00,960 and see what it feels like when you're not around, okay? 330 00:22:00,967 --> 00:22:05,995 I couldn't put Zod in a regular prison, right? He's Zod! Come on! 331 00:22:06,005 --> 00:22:11,775 No, he needed to go some place where he could never harm Metropolis ever again. 332 00:22:11,845 --> 00:22:12,903 The Phantom Zone. 333 00:22:13,012 --> 00:22:15,626 Ah yes, the notorious space jail that houses 334 00:22:15,651 --> 00:22:17,949 the greatest supervillains of all time. 335 00:22:17,984 --> 00:22:22,087 - They got the sickest baddies up there! This guy: - RAAH! 336 00:22:22,089 --> 00:22:24,422 - And her... - I'll get you, my pretty. 337 00:22:24,458 --> 00:22:27,051 - To say nothing about him. - Wingardium Leviosa! 338 00:22:27,094 --> 00:22:29,494 - And these guys! - EXTERMINATE! 339 00:22:29,519 --> 00:22:32,418 I'm starting to get an idea, monkey face. 340 00:22:37,904 --> 00:22:41,863 Hey folks look alive, here we go, I'm gonna give you 3 poses, you ready? 341 00:22:41,908 --> 00:22:42,966 Kissy face. 342 00:22:42,976 --> 00:22:44,841 Oops, I did it again. 343 00:22:44,844 --> 00:22:48,837 And the Bad Boy, whatcha gonna do? I'm outta here. 344 00:22:50,718 --> 00:22:53,386 [COMMISSIONER JIM GORDAN RETIREMENT WINTER GALA] 345 00:22:53,820 --> 00:22:57,780 - ♪ I'm starting with the man in the mirror - Any advice for the new Commissioner? 346 00:22:57,790 --> 00:23:00,792 As long as he knows how to push the button on the Bat-Signal, he'll be fine. 347 00:23:00,793 --> 00:23:03,752 - Bruce, I don't know how you did it... - You can't prove it, you didn't do it. 348 00:23:03,762 --> 00:23:08,462 - Mr Wayne, great to see you, come join us! - Mr. Prime Minister! 349 00:23:10,570 --> 00:23:13,237 - Woah! - ♪ Na na naa... 350 00:23:13,573 --> 00:23:14,733 Bruce Wayne! 351 00:23:14,974 --> 00:23:18,600 - He's the greatest orphan of all time! - ♪ Shamone! Shamone! 352 00:23:19,944 --> 00:23:21,513 - Nice to meet you Mr Ambassador. - Mr Wayne! 353 00:23:21,514 --> 00:23:23,682 - You want a picture? - That'd be swell! 354 00:23:23,682 --> 00:23:25,917 Here we go, funny face! 355 00:23:25,919 --> 00:23:28,652 - Boom, keep it. - Woah, thanks Mr Wayne! 356 00:23:28,688 --> 00:23:30,983 - Call me Bruce, champ. - I'm just so jazzed to meet you Sir. 357 00:23:30,990 --> 00:23:33,654 - I'm sorry, did you say 'jazzed'? - Yeah! 358 00:23:33,660 --> 00:23:35,890 My name's Richard Grayson, but all the kids at the orphanage call me Dick. 359 00:23:35,995 --> 00:23:38,930 - Well children can be cruel. - Great to see ya, Bruce! 360 00:23:38,932 --> 00:23:40,900 - Nice to see you Sir. - I've got a question for you Sir. 361 00:23:40,934 --> 00:23:42,062 Okay, hit me with it. 362 00:23:42,087 --> 00:23:43,869 Do you have any advice on how to get adopted? 363 00:23:43,870 --> 00:23:44,859 - Oh, yeah. - Oh you do? 364 00:23:44,904 --> 00:23:46,963 - Mr. Wayne, can I get an autograph? - Sure. 365 00:23:46,973 --> 00:23:49,908 - For example is teeth whitener a good idea? - Yes. Here you go, pal. 366 00:23:49,943 --> 00:23:50,875 - Thanks. - Really? 367 00:23:50,877 --> 00:23:52,970 - Oh, yeah. - Looking good, Bruce. - Thank you so much. 368 00:23:52,979 --> 00:23:55,914 - What about eyeliner or foreign language? - Try both. 369 00:23:55,949 --> 00:23:59,882 - Look! It's the new Commissioner! - Where? 370 00:23:59,919 --> 00:24:03,553 - Here she is, everyone. - Oh my God. 371 00:24:03,590 --> 00:24:08,687 [♪ I JUST DIED IN YOUR ARMS TONIGHT] 372 00:24:09,428 --> 00:24:11,920 Should I get experimental surgery 373 00:24:11,931 --> 00:24:15,499 to make my eyes larger and more vulnerable looking? 374 00:24:15,768 --> 00:24:18,037 Uhh, do that. 375 00:24:24,944 --> 00:24:27,811 Um, Mr. Wayne. 376 00:24:27,847 --> 00:24:30,548 Are you currently in the market to adopt a child? 377 00:24:30,583 --> 00:24:32,978 - Yeah. - Really? - Oh yeah. 378 00:24:32,986 --> 00:24:35,544 Well! Are you looking for more of a base model orphan 379 00:24:35,569 --> 00:24:37,753 or one that has more upgraded features? 380 00:24:37,790 --> 00:24:40,850 - Cooking, driftwood art, gymnastic abilities? - Yep. Yep. Yep. 381 00:24:40,893 --> 00:24:43,828 - Closeup street magic ala David Blaine? - All of it, sounds great. 382 00:24:43,830 --> 00:24:47,960 Really? Because all of it sounds like me. 383 00:24:48,001 --> 00:24:52,961 Mr. Wayne. Do you think you'd be interested in adopting me as your future orphan son? 384 00:24:52,972 --> 00:24:55,839 - Definately. - Oh, this is great! 385 00:24:55,842 --> 00:24:59,972 All I want is to get adopted. So I can finally stop being... 386 00:25:01,381 --> 00:25:03,208 ...alone. 387 00:25:03,950 --> 00:25:07,818 We're gathered here tonight to mark the retirement of Jim Gordon. 388 00:25:07,820 --> 00:25:10,421 - Goodbye. - And we wish him well 389 00:25:10,457 --> 00:25:14,687 on his South African jungle safari! - Thank you. 390 00:25:14,927 --> 00:25:18,920 Now, to introduce you to his exciting new replacement. 391 00:25:18,965 --> 00:25:21,024 Everyone meet your new Commissioner. 392 00:25:21,034 --> 00:25:23,703 [♪ I AM INVINCIBLE] 393 00:25:23,728 --> 00:25:25,971 She's Barbara Gordon! 394 00:25:25,972 --> 00:25:30,807 - The new Commissioner of Gotham City. - Wow. 395 00:25:30,810 --> 00:25:33,870 She was top of her class at Harvard For Police. 396 00:25:33,913 --> 00:25:37,974 She cleaned up the streets of Gotham's nearby sister city, Bludhaven. 397 00:25:38,017 --> 00:25:42,852 Using statistics! And compassion! 398 00:25:42,855 --> 00:25:49,727 And now she's bringing her new ideas, and her gun sharps, to Gotham City. 399 00:25:49,762 --> 00:25:52,026 - Congratulations, darling. - Thanks, Dad. 400 00:25:52,031 --> 00:25:54,932 - Here she is, everyone. - Thank you, thanks. 401 00:25:54,967 --> 00:25:58,767 - Hooray. - Miss, over here. 402 00:25:58,805 --> 00:26:01,965 Wow, thank you, for the oversized key to Arkham Asylum. 403 00:26:01,974 --> 00:26:07,844 And, what's this? Thank you for the switch to the Bat-Signal. 404 00:26:07,847 --> 00:26:09,774 Nice. 405 00:26:09,982 --> 00:26:15,416 Dad, you've always done a great job protecting Gotham City. 406 00:26:15,455 --> 00:26:17,719 - Flip! That's me. - Thank you. 407 00:26:18,024 --> 00:26:21,926 - Along with Batman, of course. - Woo! Let's hear it for Batman! 408 00:26:21,961 --> 00:26:25,023 - Who I wish was here right now. - Oh, I'm sure he's listening. 409 00:26:25,031 --> 00:26:27,527 I'd like to ask all of you a question. 410 00:26:27,567 --> 00:26:29,728 Are you fed up with crime? 411 00:26:29,969 --> 00:26:31,800 - Uh-huh, tired of it. - Yes, we're sick of it. 412 00:26:31,804 --> 00:26:36,641 Great. Let's talk real improvements that will end the cycle of crime. 413 00:26:36,676 --> 00:26:39,939 I've got a 4 point pilot program that I'd love to share with you. 414 00:26:39,946 --> 00:26:41,880 I want to hear all 4 points. 415 00:26:41,914 --> 00:26:42,938 - It's called... - I'm ready... 416 00:26:42,982 --> 00:26:45,849 - It takes a village... - Best opening title ever... 417 00:26:45,852 --> 00:26:47,913 Not a Batman. 418 00:26:48,020 --> 00:26:51,520 Waiter. Can I? Thank you. 419 00:26:54,994 --> 00:26:56,894 - WHAT!? - Look... 420 00:26:56,929 --> 00:27:02,993 Batman been on the job for a very, very, very, very, very, very, very... 421 00:27:03,002 --> 00:27:05,937 - very long time. - He has aged phenomenally. 422 00:27:05,972 --> 00:27:09,965 However, despite all the great work Batman has done for us, 423 00:27:10,009 --> 00:27:14,969 Gotham City is still the most crime-ridden city in the world. 424 00:27:15,014 --> 00:27:18,345 - She's got a great point. - Historically speaking, that is accurate. 425 00:27:18,351 --> 00:27:21,651 He hasn't captured Riddler. He hasn't captured Bane. 426 00:27:21,686 --> 00:27:24,855 Or Catwoman. Or Two-Face. 427 00:27:24,857 --> 00:27:28,884 - Or any of Gotham's other villains! - He's not good at his job. 428 00:27:28,928 --> 00:27:32,796 - Including the Joker. - She's making a lot of sense! 429 00:27:32,798 --> 00:27:35,961 Excuse me, I'm so sorry, excuse me. 430 00:27:35,968 --> 00:27:37,936 - Yes. - Hi, Bruce Wayne. 431 00:27:37,937 --> 00:27:40,770 Billionaire, galavant, gallivanter, playboy, 432 00:27:40,806 --> 00:27:43,866 Gotham's most eligable bachelor like 90 years in a row. 433 00:27:43,876 --> 00:27:46,003 - I know who you are, Mr. Wayne. - You bet you do. 434 00:27:46,012 --> 00:27:49,812 Quick question, what is your problem with Batman? 435 00:27:49,849 --> 00:27:53,910 - And also, what the heck, dude? - I'm glad you asked, Mr. Wayne. 436 00:27:53,920 --> 00:27:58,723 I'm not a Batman hater. But we don't need an unsupervised adult man 437 00:27:58,724 --> 00:28:01,816 karate chopping poor people in a Halloween costume. 438 00:28:01,861 --> 00:28:04,728 We need to take what's good about Batman, 439 00:28:04,764 --> 00:28:07,790 and marry it to actual laws. 440 00:28:07,800 --> 00:28:10,826 And proper ethics. And accountability. 441 00:28:10,870 --> 00:28:11,962 I hate everything you've just said. 442 00:28:12,004 --> 00:28:17,672 Because my dream is for the police force to team up with Batman. 443 00:28:17,677 --> 00:28:20,007 - Waiter. - Wouldn't that be better? 444 00:28:20,012 --> 00:28:25,951 And I know that together, the world's greatest detective, and Gotham's finest, 445 00:28:25,985 --> 00:28:29,621 could clean up these crime-ridden streets. 446 00:28:30,490 --> 00:28:31,582 Forever. 447 00:28:31,924 --> 00:28:34,393 - Everybody get down! - Everybody get down! 448 00:28:35,794 --> 00:28:38,022 Grand entrance! Pew pew pew! 449 00:28:38,030 --> 00:28:41,832 Everyone, make your way to the exits immediately! 450 00:28:42,468 --> 00:28:44,636 Team Bane, block the exits! 451 00:28:44,737 --> 00:28:45,863 Going somewhere? 452 00:28:45,905 --> 00:28:48,874 Clayface, Freeze, bring me the new Commissioner Gordon. 453 00:28:48,874 --> 00:28:50,063 - We're on it! - Cool! 454 00:28:50,075 --> 00:28:53,611 - And Harley. You know what to do. - I sure do! 455 00:28:53,612 --> 00:28:57,877 It's time for Operation Take Out The Laundry. 456 00:28:58,017 --> 00:29:01,614 - Alfred 1, this is Bat 1, do you copy? - Go ahead, Bat 1. 457 00:29:01,654 --> 00:29:04,851 - I need my armored face disguise now! - Only if you say the magic word. 458 00:29:04,991 --> 00:29:05,956 - Now! - No... 459 00:29:05,981 --> 00:29:07,858 - You're fired! - No... 460 00:29:07,860 --> 00:29:11,862 Sir, we'll talk about this back at the Batcave. 461 00:29:12,432 --> 00:29:13,456 - Computer. - Yes. 462 00:29:13,599 --> 00:29:16,996 - Initialize Master Build music. - Right away. 463 00:29:17,036 --> 00:29:20,904 Collatoral damage assessment suggests the Scuttler, Sir. 464 00:29:20,906 --> 00:29:22,431 Good plan. 465 00:29:26,979 --> 00:29:30,379 Madam Mayor, stay close to me. Head for the south exit. 466 00:29:30,383 --> 00:29:31,883 Now, Ma'am! 467 00:29:33,486 --> 00:29:35,916 - Go, go, go! - Honey, let Batman take care of it. 468 00:29:36,022 --> 00:29:37,887 Dad, I got this. 469 00:29:37,923 --> 00:29:39,982 Here, quick! 470 00:29:50,002 --> 00:29:51,867 Scuttler online. 471 00:29:51,904 --> 00:29:55,431 - Chief O'Hara, we're coming in hot! - I'm almost there! 472 00:29:56,008 --> 00:29:57,608 Woah! 473 00:29:59,912 --> 00:30:02,747 Chief, get the Mayor to safety! 474 00:30:02,848 --> 00:30:04,941 Computer, I got the Joker in my sights. 475 00:30:04,950 --> 00:30:08,886 Team, I got the Joker in my sights. 476 00:30:11,991 --> 00:30:13,826 - Joker! - Joker! 477 00:30:13,827 --> 00:30:16,895 - Excuse me? I was about to- - Push the Bat-Signal. 478 00:30:16,896 --> 00:30:18,796 Good call! I like your instincts! 479 00:30:18,831 --> 00:30:22,858 I've got a surprise for you guys, and it's gonna make you smile. 480 00:30:22,902 --> 00:30:25,962 Uh oh. His smile is our grimace! Everybody get down! 481 00:30:25,971 --> 00:30:28,872 - I... - Joker, no! 482 00:30:28,908 --> 00:30:32,510 - Surrender. - What? 483 00:30:32,812 --> 00:30:37,875 - Uh, what did you just say? - I said, I surrender. 484 00:30:39,852 --> 00:30:42,844 I'm sorry, my bat ears must be malfunctioning because it sou- 485 00:30:42,888 --> 00:30:45,655 - I surrender! - Okay, you know what? Cool it. 486 00:30:45,691 --> 00:30:48,851 - You're a criminal. You run and I- - Ah, pap-pap-pap. 487 00:30:48,894 --> 00:30:52,594 Not anymore, Batman. You were right. There is no us. 488 00:30:52,667 --> 00:30:56,114 So there's no point in me trying to fight you any more. 489 00:30:56,139 --> 00:30:59,439 Therefore I will be surrendering myself to our strong-willed 490 00:30:59,472 --> 00:31:03,431 and forward-thinking new Commissioner. Blink, blink, blink. Blinkety-blink. 491 00:31:03,443 --> 00:31:05,005 - That's really suspicious. - Yeah it is. 492 00:31:05,044 --> 00:31:06,841 What are you up to, Joker? 493 00:31:06,846 --> 00:31:08,939 I just want to go to Arkham and pay for all my crimes. 494 00:31:08,981 --> 00:31:10,649 Blink, blink, blink. 495 00:31:10,950 --> 00:31:14,684 - Are you actually saying 'blink'? - No! Blink blink- 496 00:31:14,720 --> 00:31:17,555 - Joker, that's enough. - Okay, Babs. I got this. 497 00:31:17,657 --> 00:31:20,820 Not so fast, Batman. You can't fight me anymore. 498 00:31:20,960 --> 00:31:23,986 - I'm off the market. - What are you talking about? 499 00:31:23,996 --> 00:31:29,024 I'm off the menu. You won't get to fight any of this anymore. 500 00:31:29,034 --> 00:31:33,994 Man, am I sorry I asked. Anyway, have fun in jail... 501 00:31:34,039 --> 00:31:37,008 - Batman, what are you doing? - Punching Bane. 502 00:31:37,042 --> 00:31:41,843 - That was unnecessary. - Oh no, you can't fight Bane anymore either. 503 00:31:41,881 --> 00:31:44,850 - Really? - Yeah. Or Riddler... 504 00:31:44,850 --> 00:31:47,876 - Catwoman. Condiment King. - Why not? 505 00:31:47,887 --> 00:31:51,823 Because... we're all surrendering. 506 00:31:51,857 --> 00:31:53,825 - Right, guys? - We are!? 507 00:31:53,859 --> 00:31:55,459 Yes! 508 00:32:02,468 --> 00:32:05,460 Riddle me this... what just happened? 509 00:32:05,705 --> 00:32:06,965 It's the end of crime! 510 00:32:06,972 --> 00:32:08,940 - Alright! - Amazing! 511 00:32:08,974 --> 00:32:11,199 - You did it! - Yeah, of course I did, I'm- 512 00:32:11,210 --> 00:32:14,943 Sorry, not you. We're talking to Commissioner Gordon. 513 00:32:14,980 --> 00:32:16,805 - Well, it was a team effort... - I got this, Babs. 514 00:32:16,816 --> 00:32:18,943 - Commissioner, how do you feel? - Amazing! 515 00:32:18,984 --> 00:32:21,049 - This is a great first day. - Okay. 516 00:32:21,053 --> 00:32:22,912 - Question for Batman. - Shoot. 517 00:32:22,955 --> 00:32:24,718 What are you gonna do with the rest of your life? 518 00:32:24,857 --> 00:32:26,046 What do you mean 'the rest of my life'? 519 00:32:26,058 --> 00:32:29,153 We don't need a vigilante crime fighter now that there's no more crime. 520 00:32:29,193 --> 00:32:30,491 Uh, yes you do. 521 00:32:30,496 --> 00:32:33,390 You can spend some quality time with your family. 522 00:32:33,899 --> 00:32:36,199 My...? 523 00:32:39,772 --> 00:32:42,639 Okay, Batman, we'll take it from here. 524 00:32:42,641 --> 00:32:46,534 All right, listen up. All of you have the right to remain silent. 525 00:32:46,679 --> 00:32:48,041 - Let's roll out! - Toodle-oo, Batman! 526 00:32:48,047 --> 00:32:50,948 - Bye, Batman! - Au revoir, Batman. 527 00:32:50,983 --> 00:32:52,408 Bye, Batman! 528 00:32:52,518 --> 00:32:58,388 ♪ [ONE IS THE LONELIEST NUMBER] 529 00:32:58,924 --> 00:33:05,022 Today is a victory for the citizens of Gotham City! 530 00:33:05,030 --> 00:33:07,760 No more crime! No more crime! 531 00:33:07,766 --> 00:33:11,793 - No more crime! No more crime! - Pew pew pew! Pew pew pew! 532 00:33:11,837 --> 00:33:14,798 No more crime! No more crime! 533 00:33:14,808 --> 00:33:17,709 534 00:33:18,844 --> 00:33:19,970 Is everything okay, Sir? 535 00:33:20,012 --> 00:33:21,912 You barely touched your lobster thermidor. 536 00:33:21,914 --> 00:33:24,883 I don't have time to eat lobster thermidor right now. 537 00:33:25,217 --> 00:33:30,143 ♪ No is the saddest experienceyou'll ever know 538 00:33:30,187 --> 00:33:36,687 ♪ Because one is the loneliestnumber that you'll ever do 539 00:33:38,464 --> 00:33:42,064 - Hey, Batman. - BARBARA! - What are you doing? 540 00:33:42,068 --> 00:33:46,861 - Nothing. I've a very full life. - No, I mean what are you doing here? 541 00:33:46,906 --> 00:33:51,934 - Surveillance on the Joker. - Batman, we both know... 542 00:33:51,944 --> 00:33:53,068 the Joker's up to something. 543 00:33:53,112 --> 00:33:56,612 Well then we can't just let him run around loose. In a prison. 544 00:33:56,615 --> 00:33:59,841 - He's not loose. - We has to go someplace outside the law! 545 00:33:59,885 --> 00:34:03,845 - Outside the law? - Yeah! Somewhere like, uh... 546 00:34:03,889 --> 00:34:08,986 Hi there, I'm here from Phantom's Own Laundry. Here to take that bad stuff off your hands. 547 00:34:08,994 --> 00:34:12,953 - Wait, that's it: The Phantom Zone! - The Phantom Zone? 548 00:34:12,998 --> 00:34:17,867 No way, that is super illegal, and way outside our jurisdiction. 549 00:34:17,903 --> 00:34:22,740 So, why don't you and I work together, inside the law, 550 00:34:22,741 --> 00:34:23,899 to figure out what he's up to. 551 00:34:23,909 --> 00:34:27,402 Batman works alone. That's my motto. Copyright Batman. 552 00:34:27,947 --> 00:34:32,008 Batman, there are no more vigilantes allowed in Gotham City. 553 00:34:32,017 --> 00:34:35,885 Okay, totally got it. I have to go into double secret, 554 00:34:35,921 --> 00:34:37,912 super vigilante mode. 555 00:34:37,957 --> 00:34:40,390 You said that out loud. 556 00:34:40,593 --> 00:34:43,619 I know that she said I said that out loud, but there's no way I did. 557 00:34:43,862 --> 00:34:46,990 She has no idea what's going on in my super-mind. 558 00:34:46,999 --> 00:34:50,958 - Super-mind? - Ah, smoke bomb! 559 00:34:54,907 --> 00:34:57,876 Computer, how do I put the Joker in the Phantom Zone? 560 00:34:57,910 --> 00:35:00,304 Quickest route. No freeways. 561 00:35:03,015 --> 00:35:05,607 'Puter, do you hear me? 562 00:35:06,986 --> 00:35:08,950 Hello, Master Bruce. 563 00:35:08,955 --> 00:35:11,614 Alfred, there's something wrong with the Bat-Computer. Watch this. 564 00:35:11,657 --> 00:35:14,885 'Puter? Nothing. 'Puter? You see what I'm saying? 565 00:35:15,027 --> 00:35:19,828 There's nothing wrong with it, Sir. I've just taken away your computer privileges. 566 00:35:19,832 --> 00:35:21,959 [PARENTAL LOCK] 567 00:35:21,967 --> 00:35:23,935 The parental lock!? You can't do that. 568 00:35:23,969 --> 00:35:28,906 Oh, I can. I've been reading "Setting Limits For Your Out Of Control Child". 569 00:35:28,941 --> 00:35:31,467 You know what? Doesn't matter, because I have the double secret 570 00:35:31,477 --> 00:35:33,777 super password that unlocks the parental lock. 571 00:35:33,879 --> 00:35:38,816 You mean "Alfrid Da Buttler" with two Ts? 572 00:35:38,817 --> 00:35:42,377 - Sir, it's time for you to stop this unhealthy behavior. - No, it's not. 573 00:35:42,420 --> 00:35:45,950 - You need to take responsibility for your life. - Not right now, I don't. 574 00:35:45,958 --> 00:35:49,685 And it starts by raising your son. 575 00:35:51,997 --> 00:35:55,990 I'm sorry, I literally have no idea what you're talking about. 576 00:35:56,001 --> 00:36:00,604 The young orphan you adopted at the gala. Remember? 577 00:36:01,674 --> 00:36:04,268 Wow. Stairs. 578 00:36:04,943 --> 00:36:09,880 - He's been living here for the past week. - Hello, table! 579 00:36:09,882 --> 00:36:13,818 And I must say, I've grown rather fond of the young lad. 580 00:36:13,852 --> 00:36:15,877 Hello, secret camera. 581 00:36:15,921 --> 00:36:22,159 You should get to know him. You and he have a lot in common. 582 00:36:23,028 --> 00:36:28,865 - Hello, family photos. - He lost his parents at a very young age. 583 00:36:29,001 --> 00:36:32,732 I always wanted one of those. 584 00:36:32,971 --> 00:36:37,931 Doesn't he deserve a chance for someone to take him under their wing? 585 00:36:37,943 --> 00:36:41,579 As I took you under mine? 586 00:36:44,483 --> 00:36:48,048 Alfred, you've been watching way too many Lifetime movies, and drinking Chardonnay. 587 00:36:48,053 --> 00:36:50,021 - It's Pinot Grigot, Sir. - Whatever it is. 588 00:36:50,022 --> 00:36:54,655 Listen, you don't have a family. You're satisfied serving me. 589 00:36:54,693 --> 00:36:57,562 So what do you know about having a surrogate son? 590 00:36:57,563 --> 00:36:58,923 Now, I'm gonna go fight crime. 591 00:36:58,964 --> 00:37:01,865 While you put that kid on the next jet to the Orphanage. Got it? 592 00:37:03,969 --> 00:37:05,770 As you wish, Sir. 593 00:37:06,872 --> 00:37:08,807 Whoops-a-daisy. 594 00:37:09,842 --> 00:37:11,368 - Wait. What are you doing? - Dusting. 595 00:37:11,376 --> 00:37:13,067 You can't let him into the Batcave! 596 00:37:13,111 --> 00:37:16,845 I'm not: I'm letting him into your life. 597 00:37:16,849 --> 00:37:18,918 ...via the Batcave. 598 00:37:28,261 --> 00:37:29,756 What? 599 00:37:30,863 --> 00:37:33,196 It's the Batcave! 600 00:37:33,699 --> 00:37:39,729 Oh my gosh, oh my gosh, oh my gosh, oh my gosh, oh my gosh, 601 00:37:39,872 --> 00:37:42,841 oh my gosh, ooh! 602 00:37:43,942 --> 00:37:46,934 - Batman, woah! - You're darn right, woah! 603 00:37:46,979 --> 00:37:49,677 Wait, does Batman live in Bruce Wayne's basement? 604 00:37:49,682 --> 00:37:51,741 No, Bruce Wayne lives in Batman's attic. 605 00:37:51,884 --> 00:37:53,909 - We can have sleepovers every night! - No we can't. 606 00:37:53,919 --> 00:37:55,978 - Woah look, it's the Bat-Sub! - Wait, don't touch that. 607 00:37:56,021 --> 00:37:58,819 - Over there, it's the Bat-Space-Shuttle! - Please keep your hands off that. 608 00:37:58,824 --> 00:38:00,658 - It's the Bat-Zepplin! - Don't touch that either! 609 00:38:00,693 --> 00:38:02,752 - The Bat-Train! - No! - The Bat-Kayak! - No! 610 00:38:02,861 --> 00:38:06,820 - It's the Bat-Dune-Buggy! -No! - It's the Bat... Shark Repellant? 611 00:38:06,865 --> 00:38:10,858 Uhh, actually you can touch that. It's completely useless. 612 00:38:10,869 --> 00:38:12,837 Woah, thanks Batman. 613 00:38:12,838 --> 00:38:17,798 Please, stand over there. And don't touch, look at, or do anything 614 00:38:17,810 --> 00:38:19,744 for the remaining moments you have in my presence. 615 00:38:19,778 --> 00:38:21,769 - Okay cool. - Computer! 616 00:38:21,814 --> 00:38:24,806 - Go ahead. - How do I put the Joker in Phantom Zone? 617 00:38:24,817 --> 00:38:28,810 Joker can only be put in the Phantom Zone using the Phantom Zone Projector. 618 00:38:28,854 --> 00:38:34,722 Current location: Superman's Fortress of Solitude, inside the atomic cauldron. 619 00:38:34,760 --> 00:38:40,492 However, only a person that isn't shredded, ripped, or extremely swole, can enter the cauldron. 620 00:38:40,533 --> 00:38:43,802 - Noo, I'm way too buff! - You also have beautiful abs, Sir. 621 00:38:43,902 --> 00:38:45,633 That's my cross to bear. 622 00:38:45,771 --> 00:38:50,833 Additionally, once inside the cauldron, multiple Kryptonian defence systems engage. 623 00:38:50,844 --> 00:38:54,677 Including the acid moat, ring of napalm, and the jaws of death. 624 00:38:54,813 --> 00:38:58,749 Chance of total mission failure is 110%. 625 00:38:58,750 --> 00:39:00,911 Those are not great odds. 626 00:39:00,953 --> 00:39:02,921 - Wait a minute. Hey, kid! - Yes, Sir? 627 00:39:02,921 --> 00:39:04,889 - You're super nimble, right? - I sure am. 628 00:39:04,923 --> 00:39:07,892 - And small. And quiet. - When I desire to be. 629 00:39:07,926 --> 00:39:11,885 - And 110% expendable. - I don't know what that means, but okay. 630 00:39:11,930 --> 00:39:16,924 Great, follow me. We are gonna steal the Phantom Zone Projector from Superman. 631 00:39:16,935 --> 00:39:19,802 - Steal? - Yeah, we have to right a wrong. 632 00:39:19,805 --> 00:39:22,933 Sometimes in order to right a wrong, you have to do a wrong-right. 633 00:39:22,941 --> 00:39:25,000 - Gandhi said that. - Are we sure Gandhi said that? 634 00:39:25,043 --> 00:39:26,840 - I'm paraphrasing. - Cool! 635 00:39:26,845 --> 00:39:29,712 Preparing Fortress of Solitude infiltration gear. 636 00:39:29,748 --> 00:39:32,740 Wow, look at all these. Do I get a costume for the mission, too? 637 00:39:32,784 --> 00:39:36,677 I got a feeling you'll just look like a kid on Halloween, don't you think? 638 00:39:36,688 --> 00:39:38,615 Don't touch that! 639 00:39:39,591 --> 00:39:42,327 - El Mariachi. - That one is culturally insensitive. 640 00:39:42,328 --> 00:39:43,817 - Night Terror. - No way. 641 00:39:43,862 --> 00:39:45,388 - Death Merchant. - No. 642 00:39:45,397 --> 00:39:46,993 - Firestarter. - No! 643 00:39:47,032 --> 00:39:48,863 - Clawed Rains. - No! 644 00:39:48,901 --> 00:39:50,027 - Excali-bat. - No! 645 00:39:50,035 --> 00:39:51,798 - Silent But Deadly. - No! 646 00:39:51,837 --> 00:39:53,762 Bat-ryshnikov. 647 00:39:53,772 --> 00:39:56,864 - How'd we feel about this one? - Dress-up parties are for grown-ups only. 648 00:39:56,909 --> 00:39:58,640 Wait, what's that one there? 649 00:39:58,777 --> 00:40:02,975 Oh, that was for the 'Jamaica Caper'. The locals called me Reggae Man. 650 00:40:02,981 --> 00:40:06,815 I love it! Oh, it's like I was poured into this. 651 00:40:06,852 --> 00:40:09,878 My only trouble is, these pants are just a little tight. 652 00:40:09,888 --> 00:40:12,948 Don't know if I can throw a kick or jump in them. I got an idea. 653 00:40:12,991 --> 00:40:16,825 RIP! That's better! Now I'm free, now I'm movin', 654 00:40:16,862 --> 00:40:18,955 Come on Batman let's get groovin'! 655 00:40:18,964 --> 00:40:20,829 I can only look you in the eyes right now. 656 00:40:20,866 --> 00:40:23,867 - Uh, Sir. What are you doing? - What do you mean? 657 00:40:23,902 --> 00:40:25,927 Why is Master Dick dressed like that? 658 00:40:25,938 --> 00:40:29,874 How dare you tell me how to parent my kid I just met? 659 00:40:29,875 --> 00:40:33,743 - To the Batmobile! - Hot diggity dog! 660 00:40:34,947 --> 00:40:39,941 Vehicle rotisserie engaged. Retrieving the Speedwagon. 661 00:40:40,852 --> 00:40:43,844 Atomic batteries to power. Turbines to speed. 662 00:40:43,889 --> 00:40:45,857 Hey, kid. Let's go. 663 00:40:45,891 --> 00:40:48,358 - Ah, shoot. - What? 664 00:40:48,460 --> 00:40:54,792 I probably shouldn't leave until I get the thumbs up from my new old man, Bruce Wayne. 665 00:40:55,801 --> 00:40:58,801 Uh, yeah. Well here's the thing... 666 00:40:59,905 --> 00:41:04,440 Bruno and I decided to share custody of you. 667 00:41:04,476 --> 00:41:08,501 So I get a say... and you're mission approved. 668 00:41:08,612 --> 00:41:11,506 No way! Is this really happening? 669 00:41:11,550 --> 00:41:12,641 Yeah! 670 00:41:13,885 --> 00:41:17,353 A month ago I had no dads, then I had 1 dad, now I have 2 dads, 671 00:41:17,389 --> 00:41:19,514 - and one of them is Batman! - Yeah! 672 00:41:19,625 --> 00:41:21,986 - It's raining dads! - So... 673 00:41:22,027 --> 00:41:27,729 Are you ready to follow Batman and maybe learn a few life lessons along the way? 674 00:41:27,766 --> 00:41:31,029 I sure am Dad 2! But first, where's the seatbelt? 675 00:41:31,036 --> 00:41:36,872 The first lesson is, life doesn't give you seatbelts! Let's go! 676 00:41:37,809 --> 00:41:39,868 Woohoo! 677 00:41:40,012 --> 00:41:43,209 Faster, Dad! Faster! 678 00:41:43,249 --> 00:41:45,949 - Woo! - Yeah! 679 00:41:47,786 --> 00:41:52,018 Oh my goodness, I am so sorry! Back up in that seat, there you go. 680 00:41:52,024 --> 00:41:56,825 As soon as I get back to the Batcave, I'll make sure Alfred puts seatbelts on there. 681 00:41:56,862 --> 00:42:00,764 but for the time being, I'm just gonna put my arm right here, 682 00:42:00,799 --> 00:42:06,563 And we're just gonna gently ease out of here. Here we go. 683 00:42:15,781 --> 00:42:18,673 [FORTRESS OF SOLITUDE] 684 00:42:18,817 --> 00:42:22,684 Okay, like all super heroes, Superman has zero friends, 685 00:42:22,688 --> 00:42:25,882 and he spends most of his time basking in sweet, sweet isolation. 686 00:42:25,891 --> 00:42:29,418 here at his alone palace. So, I'll keep him busy, 687 00:42:29,461 --> 00:42:32,020 while you sneak into that vent and get the projector. Got it? 688 00:42:32,030 --> 00:42:35,898 - Copy that. Oh, I could also- - Woah, don't even finish that thought. 689 00:42:35,934 --> 00:42:38,835 See this counter? These are all the good ideas Batman has. 690 00:42:38,837 --> 00:42:41,863 And no-one else has even had any good ideas. So don't even try. 691 00:42:41,907 --> 00:42:45,968 Your superpower is excellent listening and execution of my ideas. 692 00:42:45,977 --> 00:42:48,002 - Let's try it out. - Cool! 693 00:42:48,013 --> 00:42:51,847 Drop to the ground. Do a back flip. Do a front flip. Triple axle. 694 00:42:51,883 --> 00:42:54,010 Plié, Relevé, Jeté. Pythagorean Theorem. 695 00:42:54,019 --> 00:42:56,852 - A squared + B squared = C squared. - Physicalize it! 696 00:42:56,888 --> 00:43:01,723 A squared + B squared = C squared! 697 00:43:01,760 --> 00:43:04,024 - How'd I do, Dad? - Mediocre. And don't call me dad. 698 00:43:04,029 --> 00:43:06,862 - Now, begin mission! - Yes, Papa. 699 00:43:06,898 --> 00:43:10,026 Papa falls into the Dad category. 700 00:43:21,400 --> 00:43:25,100 [♪ SUPERMAN THEME] 701 00:43:26,852 --> 00:43:30,913 - S'up Supes? - Huh, wow, it's Batman... 702 00:43:30,956 --> 00:43:35,757 ...and he's at at my house. Right now. What are you doing here? 703 00:43:35,794 --> 00:43:37,955 Don't worry about it, dog. I'm not here to throw down or anything. 704 00:43:37,963 --> 00:43:42,863 - Uh no, I would crush you. - Okay, sure, sure, sure. 705 00:43:42,932 --> 00:43:46,971 Hey, listen, thank me later, but I just happened to be in the hood... 706 00:43:46,972 --> 00:43:50,508 and I figured that you could probably use the... 707 00:43:52,611 --> 00:43:54,911 ...company. 708 00:43:56,548 --> 00:43:59,973 Wait a minute, are you having the... 709 00:43:59,998 --> 00:44:03,774 ...57th Annual Justice League Anniversary Party... 710 00:44:03,989 --> 00:44:06,014 ...without me? 711 00:44:06,024 --> 00:44:07,992 - No! - No! 712 00:44:08,026 --> 00:44:12,725 No, there must have been some mistake with the emails. That's crazy man. 713 00:44:12,764 --> 00:44:15,756 Email mistakes happen all the time. 714 00:44:15,767 --> 00:44:19,794 Sometimes I don't get Superman's emails for... years! 715 00:44:19,838 --> 00:44:23,001 Great point GL, great point. Alright! Well that clears up everything, right? 716 00:44:23,041 --> 00:44:26,239 Enjoy the party, Bro. Hit it, DJ Wonder Dog. 717 00:44:26,344 --> 00:44:28,044 [♪ PLANET ROCK] Woof! 718 00:44:33,818 --> 00:44:36,912 - Hey, Batman, you wanna take a quick pic? - Sure, where'd you want me? 719 00:44:36,955 --> 00:44:39,924 - Right there, perfect. Here's the camera. - Oh. 720 00:44:39,925 --> 00:44:41,893 Okay party people, get together. 721 00:44:41,927 --> 00:44:45,761 - Now, everybody say- - Super Friends! 722 00:44:45,764 --> 00:44:48,961 Let me see. Classic. We got everyone! 723 00:44:49,000 --> 00:44:51,443 - Yeah... everyone. - Thanks, Batman! 724 00:44:51,568 --> 00:44:54,167 Yeah, no problem. I feel I could burst. 725 00:44:54,472 --> 00:44:56,900 This party is the bomb! 726 00:44:56,942 --> 00:45:01,970 Look at me! More like Martian Dance Hunter, am I right? 727 00:45:01,980 --> 00:45:05,144 - 'Puter, call kid. - Bat-Dad? 728 00:45:05,149 --> 00:45:09,082 How's it going? Cause everything is going great down here. 729 00:45:09,121 --> 00:45:12,854 I can see the target. There's some kind of laser energy thing that I can't get through. 730 00:45:12,891 --> 00:45:14,859 Okay, I'll see if I can shut it off. 731 00:45:14,859 --> 00:45:19,353 But I'm gonna have to make up an excuse to leave this party without anyone noticing. 732 00:45:19,698 --> 00:45:21,031 Bye. 733 00:45:22,467 --> 00:45:24,462 Kid, tell me when it's off, alright? 734 00:45:24,703 --> 00:45:27,501 - Now? Now? Now? - No. No. No. No. 735 00:45:27,806 --> 00:45:31,665 My son, these irreplaceable crystals contain all my knowledge, 736 00:45:31,810 --> 00:45:32,938 which I now pass on to- 737 00:45:33,044 --> 00:45:36,575 Darn it, it's gotta be one of these. Is this the one? 738 00:45:36,681 --> 00:45:40,181 - O-M-Gosh you did it Padre, it's off! - Okay. Now you gotta make your way 739 00:45:40,351 --> 00:45:43,553 to the atomic cauldron and get that Phantom Zone Projector. 740 00:45:43,555 --> 00:45:45,550 - Do exactly as I say. - 10-4. 741 00:45:45,691 --> 00:45:47,758 Okay. Jump! 742 00:45:48,327 --> 00:45:50,261 Do a front flip. Do a back flip. 743 00:45:51,296 --> 00:45:53,931 Run! Run! Run! Drop! 744 00:45:53,932 --> 00:45:58,835 That's some excellent listening! Shimmy. Strafe left. Strafe right. 745 00:45:58,870 --> 00:45:59,928 Avoid! 746 00:45:59,971 --> 00:46:02,030 Hey I was thinking, if I'm gonna be a super hero 747 00:46:02,040 --> 00:46:06,943 and go on awesome superhero missions like this one, can we use codenames? 748 00:46:06,978 --> 00:46:09,913 - Mine can be Robin. - Sorry, say that again? - Robin! 749 00:46:09,914 --> 00:46:13,975 - As in the small Midwestern frail bird? - Yeah, and I already have a catchphrase. 750 00:46:14,019 --> 00:46:15,987 - Tweet tweet on the street. - Hard pass. 751 00:46:15,987 --> 00:46:20,981 - And a song: "Fly Robin Fly..." - Harder pass. Now slide! 752 00:46:21,026 --> 00:46:24,894 Okay, kid. I'm gonna teach you how to Master Build your way inside that thing. 753 00:46:24,929 --> 00:46:28,088 - Yay! - Grab those 2x6s. Pull out the axle studs. 754 00:46:28,098 --> 00:46:30,866 Disconnect the 6x10 plates. - like this? 755 00:46:30,902 --> 00:46:34,770 Woah, unbelievable obeying! Now let's ride. 756 00:46:34,773 --> 00:46:35,865 Toes to the nose. 757 00:46:35,907 --> 00:46:37,875 Now you're gleaming the cube! 758 00:46:37,876 --> 00:46:41,610 Now, get creative. Freestyle a little bit. That's good, kid! 759 00:46:41,646 --> 00:46:43,705 It's like looking in a Bat-Mirror. 760 00:46:43,715 --> 00:46:45,910 Okay. Leap. 761 00:46:48,453 --> 00:46:50,446 - I got the projector, Dad! - Booyah! 762 00:46:50,555 --> 00:46:53,381 Now, do everything we just did, backwards. 763 00:46:53,692 --> 00:46:55,085 Oh. 764 00:46:56,027 --> 00:46:59,861 - Here you go, Dad. We did it! - Yeah! Mission accomplished. 765 00:46:59,864 --> 00:47:01,864 That was fun! 766 00:47:03,001 --> 00:47:06,837 You okay, Batman? You seem the opposite of stern. 767 00:47:06,938 --> 00:47:11,807 Yeah I'm fine, it's just... watching you, out there... 768 00:47:11,843 --> 00:47:16,580 It was like the world wasn't all darkness anymore. 769 00:47:16,848 --> 00:47:21,911 For a brief moment I could've sworn I... felt something. 770 00:47:21,953 --> 00:47:25,553 That feeling is pride, Sir. 771 00:47:25,657 --> 00:47:29,655 You're right. I am super proud. 772 00:47:29,994 --> 00:47:35,864 ...of myself. For being such a good teacher. Obviously. 773 00:47:35,900 --> 00:47:38,994 - Yeah, you're a great teacher. - I am? 774 00:47:39,037 --> 00:47:42,837 Yeah! I wanna be just like you when I grow up, Padre. 775 00:47:42,841 --> 00:47:44,641 Wait, what did you call me? 776 00:47:44,643 --> 00:47:46,836 I, I called you Padre. 777 00:47:46,878 --> 00:47:50,814 It's... Spanish for 'Dad'. Sorry. 778 00:47:50,815 --> 00:47:53,943 Well isn't it also a cool Spanish way to say 'Buddy'? 779 00:47:53,952 --> 00:47:55,977 Yeah, could've been saying it that way. 780 00:47:56,020 --> 00:47:57,683 Then I'll allow it. 781 00:47:57,789 --> 00:48:00,658 - Oh you're such a great Padre! - What are you doing? 782 00:48:00,692 --> 00:48:04,692 - Trying to give you a big old hug. - I thought you were attacking me. 783 00:48:04,929 --> 00:48:08,922 Hey, you up for a top secret superhero mission to defeat the Joker? 784 00:48:08,933 --> 00:48:11,834 Oh, I'm down to stop that clown. 785 00:48:11,870 --> 00:48:14,029 But I don't wanna make my other dad Bruce Wayne angry, 786 00:48:14,038 --> 00:48:16,831 - you think we'll be done before my bedtime? - BEDTIME!? 787 00:48:16,856 --> 00:48:20,772 Batman's life lesson number 2: Vigilantes don't have bedtimes. 788 00:48:20,779 --> 00:48:24,943 Yes! So what's the vigilante policy on cookies? 789 00:48:24,949 --> 00:48:27,450 Unlimited. 790 00:48:27,886 --> 00:48:31,845 Alright kid, we need to avoid Commissioner Gordan. [ARKHAM ASYLUM] 791 00:48:32,657 --> 00:48:34,750 So, lesson number 3. 792 00:48:34,893 --> 00:48:38,795 When going stealth, you gotta hide every part of you. 793 00:48:38,830 --> 00:48:40,923 Physically, and emotionally. 794 00:48:40,932 --> 00:48:41,921 - Got it? - YEAH! 795 00:48:41,966 --> 00:48:43,529 Already failed. 796 00:48:43,735 --> 00:48:48,061 What I need you to do is, use the naturally dark areas of your costume 797 00:48:48,086 --> 00:48:52,568 and integrate into the dark parts of this environment. 798 00:48:52,611 --> 00:48:53,569 Okay. 799 00:48:53,878 --> 00:48:55,812 - Can you see me? - Yes. 800 00:48:55,847 --> 00:48:57,906 - What about now? - Yes. 801 00:48:57,916 --> 00:48:58,974 - What about now? - Yes. 802 00:48:59,017 --> 00:49:01,650 - Now? - Yes. You're a goner, kid. 803 00:49:01,653 --> 00:49:03,953 - Batman! - BARBARA! 804 00:49:03,977 --> 00:49:06,023 [♪ I JUST DIED IN YOUR ARMS TONIGHT] 805 00:49:06,024 --> 00:49:09,858 - Batman? Batman? - Hey there, look at you! 806 00:49:09,894 --> 00:49:11,828 - Who's this? - Hi, police lady! 807 00:49:11,863 --> 00:49:13,023 - Is that your son? - Yes, I am! 808 00:49:13,031 --> 00:49:16,864 - No, that's just weird. - It's weirder if it's not your son. 809 00:49:16,868 --> 00:49:21,771 Right. No, I'm not in a relationship or anything. 810 00:49:21,806 --> 00:49:25,934 I could have a kid. I mean, if I met the right lady. 811 00:49:25,977 --> 00:49:29,708 And... she was just standing right in front of me... 812 00:49:29,747 --> 00:49:32,707 and we looked at each other, and thought, hey, let's do this. 813 00:49:32,751 --> 00:49:34,585 Let's be together. 814 00:49:34,719 --> 00:49:35,811 - Batman... - Yes? 815 00:49:35,954 --> 00:49:39,454 I hope you're back because you decided to work together 816 00:49:39,457 --> 00:49:43,757 - on the Joker case? - Uhh... Yeah, absolutely! 817 00:49:44,426 --> 00:49:45,626 Great! 818 00:49:46,031 --> 00:49:47,823 Ooh, Arkham Asylum. 819 00:49:47,966 --> 00:49:51,026 So before we question the Joker, I'm gonna need you to hand over all your weapons. 820 00:49:51,035 --> 00:49:52,798 I mean, I don't know if I have anything... 821 00:49:53,905 --> 00:49:57,807 - Oh, I just got a couple here. - Is that it? 822 00:49:57,842 --> 00:50:01,801 - Oh, of course. - What about the utility belt? 823 00:50:02,313 --> 00:50:04,477 There we go. 824 00:50:04,482 --> 00:50:06,550 Uh, this is really uncomfortable. 825 00:50:06,551 --> 00:50:08,851 Sorry, my shoes are part of my pants. 826 00:50:09,921 --> 00:50:10,581 Oops... 827 00:50:10,606 --> 00:50:11,987 - Batman... - Yes? 828 00:50:12,023 --> 00:50:16,851 Why is your not son trying to smuggle the Phantom Zone Projector into Arkham? 829 00:50:16,895 --> 00:50:19,728 What? Hey, kid, what is this? 830 00:50:19,764 --> 00:50:21,959 - Batman, give me the Phantom Zone Projector. - No. 831 00:50:22,000 --> 00:50:23,968 - Batman, give me the- - No. 832 00:50:23,968 --> 00:50:25,936 No, no, no... whoa, nice. 833 00:50:25,970 --> 00:50:28,805 I studied Brazilian Jujitsu at Harvard for Police! 834 00:50:28,807 --> 00:50:31,899 Oh yeah, well guess who got a PhD in smoke bombs? 835 00:50:31,910 --> 00:50:33,901 - Dr. Batman! - Guards, get them! 836 00:50:33,912 --> 00:50:36,881 - Freeze, Batman! - Hey, kid, this is a training exercise. 837 00:50:36,915 --> 00:50:37,973 These guys are my bros. 838 00:50:38,016 --> 00:50:40,647 - Go ahead and take a couple of them out. - Cool! 839 00:50:41,786 --> 00:50:43,981 840 00:50:44,022 --> 00:50:46,991 841 00:50:46,991 --> 00:50:51,158 Code Red. I need total security lockdown, now! 842 00:50:55,033 --> 00:50:56,898 What's up, Joker? 843 00:50:56,901 --> 00:50:58,926 - Namaste, Batman. - Namaste. 844 00:50:58,937 --> 00:51:01,735 - Gross. - Ooh, briefs man. Me too. 845 00:51:01,773 --> 00:51:05,004 - Cut the baloney. Kid, guard the door, will ya! - On it! Take that! 846 00:51:05,009 --> 00:51:08,843 Looks like you're going to a lot of trouble for little old me. 847 00:51:08,880 --> 00:51:10,973 I must be your greatest enemy after all. 848 00:51:10,982 --> 00:51:12,882 Right, Batman? 849 00:51:12,917 --> 00:51:14,885 - I see what you're trying to do. - And what is that? 850 00:51:14,886 --> 00:51:17,912 You're trying to entrap me into a relationship. 851 00:51:17,956 --> 00:51:20,015 - Really? - Yeah, and it's not gonna work. 852 00:51:20,024 --> 00:51:24,791 Oh yes it is. Because I'm inside your head. 853 00:51:24,796 --> 00:51:25,888 - No you're not. - No you're not. 854 00:51:25,930 --> 00:51:26,862 I knew you'd say that. 855 00:51:26,864 --> 00:51:27,922 - No you didn't! - No you didn't! 856 00:51:27,966 --> 00:51:29,934 And I knew you'd say that! 857 00:51:29,968 --> 00:51:32,432 See? We aren't so different, I and you. 858 00:51:32,470 --> 00:51:34,438 - It's you and I! - It's you and I! 859 00:51:34,539 --> 00:51:38,739 - Admit it... I'm your greatest enemy. - You're not my greatest enemy, Joker. 860 00:51:38,743 --> 00:51:41,936 - Okay, then send me to the Phantom Zone. - Fine, I will. 861 00:51:41,980 --> 00:51:45,548 And prove I'm your greatest enemy. 862 00:51:45,917 --> 00:51:47,682 Batman, don't do this! 863 00:51:47,685 --> 00:51:51,521 As long as you're in the Phantom Zone, I'll be saving Gotham City. 864 00:51:51,556 --> 00:51:52,984 And that's all that matters to me. 865 00:51:52,991 --> 00:51:57,985 - Goodbye, Joker. - Oh Batman, thank you! 866 00:51:58,896 --> 00:52:02,564 Yes! That's what I call saving the city again! 867 00:52:02,600 --> 00:52:04,334 Batman, what are you doing!? 868 00:52:04,436 --> 00:52:06,663 I'm Batman...ing. 869 00:52:06,904 --> 00:52:09,237 ♪ I'm Batman. I'm awesome. 870 00:52:09,241 --> 00:52:11,634 ♪ I got a 9 pack] - Stop it! 871 00:52:11,876 --> 00:52:14,005 - Batman, I can't believe you did this. - Hi police lady. 872 00:52:14,045 --> 00:52:20,079 And even worse, you've made this kid into an accessory to your crime. Sorry kid. 873 00:52:20,151 --> 00:52:22,851 That's okay Ma'am, as long as I'm doing the dime in the big house 874 00:52:22,919 --> 00:52:25,019 with my old man, eveything's gonna be a-okay. 875 00:52:25,023 --> 00:52:27,958 Officers, take this projector to the evidence room. 876 00:52:27,959 --> 00:52:30,022 - And get this man some pants! - I'm good the way I am. 877 00:52:30,028 --> 00:52:33,562 P-Co, why has nobody fist-bumped me yet? 878 00:52:34,632 --> 00:52:36,566 You know... 879 00:52:36,701 --> 00:52:41,538 When I was a kid, I wanted to be you, Batman. 880 00:52:41,539 --> 00:52:46,539 I wanted to be as strong and as fast and as smart as Batman. 881 00:52:47,011 --> 00:52:49,680 But you're not who I thought you were. 882 00:52:50,014 --> 00:52:51,679 Whaddya mean? 883 00:52:51,883 --> 00:52:56,454 You can't be a hero if you only care about yourself. 884 00:52:56,454 --> 00:52:58,684 Barbara... I... 885 00:53:00,024 --> 00:53:04,859 I think you're underestimating the importance of the Joker being in the Phantom Zone. 886 00:53:04,896 --> 00:53:08,430 Really, kind of a stroke of genius... Hey, where you going? 887 00:53:08,466 --> 00:53:13,194 I just put Joker in the one place he can't do anyone any harm. 888 00:53:13,605 --> 00:53:15,339 Yeah. 889 00:53:15,540 --> 00:53:20,040 But what if you just gave Joker exactly what he wanted? 890 00:53:38,500 --> 00:53:41,200 [♪ THE PHANTOM ZONE] 891 00:53:48,873 --> 00:53:53,076 Woah! Look at this place! Am I being too loud? 892 00:53:53,611 --> 00:53:55,670 - HI! - OH MY GOSH! 893 00:53:55,913 --> 00:53:59,872 - Sorry, I always do that! - How about a warning next time? - You're so right and I am so wrong. 894 00:53:59,917 --> 00:54:01,885 Welcome to the Phantom Zone, bad guy! 895 00:54:01,886 --> 00:54:03,820 - Yeah, bad guy. - My name is Phillis! 896 00:54:03,855 --> 00:54:06,656 - Oh, that was my grandma's name. - Now hold still... 897 00:54:06,691 --> 00:54:09,683 ...while I scan you. Scanning for badness. 898 00:54:09,794 --> 00:54:11,887 Trying to assess whether you are bad. 899 00:54:15,867 --> 00:54:17,994 Uh, your whole thing screams bad guy. 900 00:54:18,002 --> 00:54:20,698 Oh yes... I'm really a bad person. 901 00:54:20,772 --> 00:54:22,899 But with vulnerabilities. 902 00:54:22,907 --> 00:54:27,844 Who me? No way... so where do you keep all the other bad people in this place? 903 00:54:27,879 --> 00:54:31,747 They're standing right behind you. 904 00:54:32,049 --> 00:54:36,782 Hi there guys, lovely to meet you all. I'm the- oh, fist-bump. 905 00:54:36,821 --> 00:54:38,900 Doesn't matter, I'm the Joker. 906 00:54:38,923 --> 00:54:42,825 - Take a look at the new guy. - Guess they'll just let anybody in here. 907 00:54:42,860 --> 00:54:46,853 Oh, no, no... I'm very bad too, they just showed a video montage- 908 00:54:46,864 --> 00:54:47,990 - Boring! - What? 909 00:54:48,032 --> 00:54:49,897 - You're boring. - He looks delicious! 910 00:54:49,934 --> 00:54:51,868 - Huh? - Let's eat this guy! 911 00:54:51,903 --> 00:54:54,872 Stop with the violence for just a second! 912 00:54:54,872 --> 00:54:59,675 What if I told you I could get you out of here? 913 00:55:00,345 --> 00:55:02,007 - I'm sorry, what'd you just say? - That's right! 914 00:55:02,046 --> 00:55:06,445 I'm so bad I got myself thrown into this heck-hole on purpose! 915 00:55:06,451 --> 00:55:09,814 - I'm listening. - Count me interested! 916 00:55:09,921 --> 00:55:13,914 Look, everyone here knows what it's like to be hurt by a hero, don't they? 917 00:55:13,958 --> 00:55:18,323 - We've all been taken for granted, right? - Yeah! - I'm relating! 918 00:55:18,363 --> 00:55:21,422 That's why I came to this space prison. 919 00:55:21,432 --> 00:55:24,996 - To recruit the universe's greatest- - We'll do it. 920 00:55:25,036 --> 00:55:25,968 I'm sorry? 921 00:55:25,970 --> 00:55:31,909 You were going to say something about recruiting the universe's greatest villains to conquer a super hero. 922 00:55:31,943 --> 00:55:33,911 - Am I right? - Uh, yeah. 923 00:55:33,911 --> 00:55:35,879 - Well we're in. - Yay! 924 00:55:35,880 --> 00:55:37,745 Really, because I brought a PowerPoint pres- 925 00:55:37,748 --> 00:55:39,909 - Still boring! - Yeah, just get on with it! 926 00:55:39,951 --> 00:55:42,920 - Do you want us to humiliate him? - I certainly do, yes! 927 00:55:42,920 --> 00:55:45,587 You want us to make him grovel at your feet? 928 00:55:45,623 --> 00:55:47,249 I would like to see that very much! 929 00:55:47,291 --> 00:55:51,358 - You want us to smite him? - Yeah! 930 00:55:51,362 --> 00:55:54,822 Do you want us to make the rivers of Gotham City run red with his blood? 931 00:55:54,866 --> 00:55:58,859 - Oh, that's- - Oh, no blood... how do you feel about lava? 932 00:55:58,903 --> 00:56:00,962 - Yes, lava. - Done. - Yay! 933 00:56:00,972 --> 00:56:03,998 - I can't wait to crush buildings - Excuse me, hello... over here. 934 00:56:04,008 --> 00:56:07,774 I don't wanna be a downer, but how exactly are we gonna get out of this place? 935 00:56:07,812 --> 00:56:10,809 Oh, leave that to me. 936 00:56:11,015 --> 00:56:14,000 I don't wanna jinx us, but I'll be a lot happier 937 00:56:14,025 --> 00:56:17,877 when this Phantom Zone Projector is locked up tight. 938 00:56:17,989 --> 00:56:20,890 - Going up, Ma'am? - No... 939 00:56:20,892 --> 00:56:22,892 ...you're going down. 940 00:56:25,696 --> 00:56:28,892 I guess you're right, I am going up. Ding! 941 00:56:30,868 --> 00:56:36,632 Here comes the... PHANTOM ZONE! 942 00:56:41,479 --> 00:56:45,677 - I'm gonna go start looting. - Hello Gotham City! 943 00:56:45,983 --> 00:56:50,817 The clown prince of crime is back. 944 00:56:50,855 --> 00:56:53,016 Commissioner Gordon, you've got to take a look at this! 945 00:56:53,024 --> 00:56:55,959 - What's that? - A monkey and dog are friends! 946 00:56:55,993 --> 00:57:01,727 - Not that. That. - The time has come to finally take over the city. 947 00:57:01,766 --> 00:57:06,999 But in order to do that, I need to break my friends out of a giant, scary prison. 948 00:57:07,004 --> 00:57:09,871 - Hey guys, he means us! - Yay! 949 00:57:09,907 --> 00:57:13,934 And I ain't talking about those rogue losers dressed in cosplay! 950 00:57:13,945 --> 00:57:16,145 - Aww! - Me-ouch! 951 00:57:16,179 --> 00:57:20,009 I'm talking about my new peeps! They're just like me. 952 00:57:20,051 --> 00:57:23,885 The greatest villains you'll ever see. 953 00:57:23,888 --> 00:57:25,653 - You wanna meet 'em? - No. 954 00:57:25,690 --> 00:57:27,083 Too bad. 955 00:57:27,892 --> 00:57:32,024 He's evil, he's magic, and it's about to get tragic. 956 00:57:32,031 --> 00:57:35,198 - It's Voldemort! - Magic! 957 00:57:36,934 --> 00:57:40,893 You are a fish! You are a frog! You are a fish-frog! 958 00:57:40,938 --> 00:57:45,338 He's a 9000 year old incarnation of evil with an eye for jewellery. 959 00:57:45,380 --> 00:57:49,073 - Give it up for Sauron! - Good afternoon, Gotham City. 960 00:57:53,651 --> 00:57:57,981 He likes long, violent walks on historic buildings, it's King Kong! 961 00:57:58,022 --> 00:58:00,191 Come at me, Gotham! 962 00:58:01,526 --> 00:58:04,928 Commissioner Gordon, these monsters, they're too powerful! 963 00:58:05,363 --> 00:58:07,354 Can you contain them to Downtown? 964 00:58:07,598 --> 00:58:10,792 That's gonna be impossible! Half the police force are fish! 965 00:58:10,801 --> 00:58:13,534 Sergeant Jackson, stop flopping around! 966 00:58:13,571 --> 00:58:17,934 And rounding out the Evil All-Stars, Wicked Witch, Medusa, 967 00:58:17,941 --> 00:58:20,900 - And British robots. - EXTERMINATE! 968 00:58:20,945 --> 00:58:22,913 Ask your nerd friends. 969 00:58:22,913 --> 00:58:26,074 Hello? Bad guys... 970 00:58:27,852 --> 00:58:30,352 Ha haa... what a crew, huh? 971 00:58:30,387 --> 00:58:36,655 And they all work for me! Who's the greatest villain of them all now, Batman? 972 00:58:36,694 --> 00:58:37,786 Still not you. 973 00:58:37,895 --> 00:58:40,721 Actually this does look pretty terrifying, Bat-Dad. 974 00:58:41,466 --> 00:58:45,935 Nice destruction all around. Watch your step. Good work guys! 975 00:58:45,936 --> 00:58:50,873 Now all that's left for me is to rub it in Batman's Bat-Face. 976 00:58:50,908 --> 00:58:56,410 Hey Sauron! Doesn't your flaming eye have a unique ability to peer through time and space? 977 00:58:56,447 --> 00:58:57,506 Uh-huh. 978 00:58:57,549 --> 00:59:00,676 Well, I need to find Batman, where's home boy's man cave? 979 00:59:00,985 --> 00:59:05,722 Gimme a second. Scanning... It's beneath Wayne Manor. 980 00:59:05,756 --> 00:59:07,815 Whoa, hold on a sec. 981 00:59:07,825 --> 00:59:12,956 Are you trying to tell me that Bruce Wayne is Batman... 982 00:59:12,997 --> 00:59:14,762 ...'s roommate? 983 00:59:14,865 --> 00:59:17,366 Uh... yeah. 984 00:59:17,602 --> 00:59:21,800 Evil Army, this way to the Batcave! 985 00:59:24,709 --> 00:59:26,109 Good grief! 986 00:59:38,523 --> 00:59:42,653 Hey, Batman. Joker's home! 987 00:59:43,894 --> 00:59:45,953 I'm rubbing my butt all over your stuff. 988 00:59:45,996 --> 00:59:50,023 Gonna have to rename this the Butt-Mobile. 989 00:59:50,601 --> 00:59:53,031 Hey Evil Army, I need Batman brought here. 990 00:59:53,037 --> 00:59:56,770 Now GO GET HIM! Joker out! 991 00:59:59,009 --> 01:00:02,911 - Uh... Padre? - Yeah? 992 01:00:02,913 --> 01:00:04,804 Do you ever get scared? 993 01:00:04,949 --> 01:00:06,840 No! 994 01:00:06,984 --> 01:00:11,012 Yeah, that's what I figured. Because you're Batman. 995 01:00:16,627 --> 01:00:17,787 Hey, kid... 996 01:00:17,995 --> 01:00:21,431 - you know who does get scared? - Who? 997 01:00:21,465 --> 01:00:22,757 Bruce Wayne. 998 01:00:22,900 --> 01:00:24,868 - Really? - Yeah. 999 01:00:24,869 --> 01:00:29,898 Bruno told me once, that sometimes the only way to get out of a down moment 1000 01:00:29,940 --> 01:00:31,908 is to start boxing. 1001 01:00:31,942 --> 01:00:36,611 And by boxing, he meant beat-boxing. 1002 01:00:36,981 --> 01:00:40,815 Na na na na na na na na... 1003 01:00:41,585 --> 01:00:42,779 Feel it, uh-huh. 1004 01:00:43,020 --> 01:00:46,012 Dick Grayson on the mic, go! 1005 01:00:52,029 --> 01:00:55,760 - Oh my gosh, this does make me feel better. - Okay, Batman solo. 1006 01:00:55,799 --> 01:00:59,826 Bat, Bat, can I get a Bat, Bat, can I get a 1007 01:00:59,870 --> 01:01:01,697 The Bat-Fax! 1008 01:01:02,706 --> 01:01:04,731 The city needs me! Bang bang bang! 1009 01:01:04,842 --> 01:01:08,578 Excuse me! Can you get the Commissioner and show her this! 1010 01:01:08,579 --> 01:01:10,906 - Batman. - Would you stop doing that!? 1011 01:01:10,948 --> 01:01:12,939 I sent the Bat-Fax. 1012 01:01:12,983 --> 01:01:16,887 I hate to say this, but... you're right. The city needs you. 1013 01:01:16,921 --> 01:01:17,945 Yes! Let me out. 1014 01:01:17,955 --> 01:01:21,015 I'm only gonna let you out on one condition. 1015 01:01:21,025 --> 01:01:24,693 - Name it. - You can't do it by yourself. 1016 01:01:26,897 --> 01:01:30,890 Fine. Who am I working with? Seal Team 6? Fox Force 5? Suicide Squad? 1017 01:01:30,901 --> 01:01:32,732 No. Me. 1018 01:01:32,770 --> 01:01:33,998 Oh I wanna help too. 1019 01:01:34,038 --> 01:01:35,767 And I shall join as well. 1020 01:01:35,773 --> 01:01:39,732 - Alfred Pennyworth at your service. - Alfred, you gotta let me outta here. 1021 01:01:39,777 --> 01:01:42,871 Sir, those creatures out there are unlike anything we've ever seen. 1022 01:01:42,913 --> 01:01:45,905 Speak for yourself. You don't know everything I've seen, I haven't told you everything. 1023 01:01:45,950 --> 01:01:48,885 And you'll never be able to defeat them alone. 1024 01:01:48,886 --> 01:01:50,979 And it'll be more fun if we all do it together. 1025 01:01:50,988 --> 01:01:54,924 What's the worst thing that could happen? What are you so afraid of? 1026 01:01:54,925 --> 01:01:57,717 The thing I'm most afraid of? 1027 01:02:01,966 --> 01:02:04,664 I've gotta be honest with you, it's Snake-Clowns. 1028 01:02:04,702 --> 01:02:05,760 Yeah, that's not a thing. 1029 01:02:05,769 --> 01:02:08,795 Well then, nothing. I'm not afraid of anything! 1030 01:02:08,906 --> 01:02:11,297 Okay. Prove it. 1031 01:02:11,341 --> 01:02:12,841 - Oh I will. -Good. 1032 01:02:12,843 --> 01:02:15,903 You know what the B-A-T in Batman stands for? 1033 01:02:15,913 --> 01:02:17,938 - Not really. - Best At Teamwork. 1034 01:02:17,982 --> 01:02:20,849 Best At Teamwork Man is my full name. 1035 01:02:20,851 --> 01:02:24,019 - Yay, we're going on a family trip! - This is not a family trip. 1036 01:02:24,053 --> 01:02:25,845 I can wear my costume too! 1037 01:02:25,889 --> 01:02:28,158 Well luckily for us, you left your costume back at the- 1038 01:02:28,159 --> 01:02:32,018 - RIP! - Nope, under your clothes. That's perfect. 1039 01:02:32,063 --> 01:02:34,128 - RIP! - Alfred, what are you doing? 1040 01:02:34,165 --> 01:02:35,465 - I miss the 60s. 1041 01:02:35,500 --> 01:02:40,692 Hey, can Scarecrow help? Permit us to lend you assistance! 1042 01:02:40,871 --> 01:02:42,771 Why don't we use these guys? 1043 01:02:42,806 --> 01:02:47,671 What am I gonna do, get a bunch of criminals together to fight the criminals? That's a stupid idea. 1044 01:02:50,914 --> 01:02:52,939 Okay guys, game plan. 1045 01:02:52,950 --> 01:02:54,975 - Joker's taken the projector to- - Wayne Manor. 1046 01:02:55,019 --> 01:02:56,884 Right. Thanks, Batman. 1047 01:02:56,887 --> 01:02:57,945 - We need that- - Projector. 1048 01:02:57,955 --> 01:02:59,820 - Or there's no way to blast these- - Monsters- 1049 01:02:59,857 --> 01:03:01,757 - Back to the- - Phantom Zone. Yep. 1050 01:03:01,792 --> 01:03:03,953 - Batman, I really don't need you to finish my- - Sandcastles. 1051 01:03:03,994 --> 01:03:05,757 - Sister's homework? - No. 1052 01:03:05,763 --> 01:03:07,754 - Succulent... something. - No. 1053 01:03:07,798 --> 01:03:13,828 - Um, everybody? - Batman is in Arkham Asylum. 1054 01:03:13,837 --> 01:03:16,863 Hey, everybody grab on to me! 1055 01:03:21,679 --> 01:03:24,048 We've gotta take cover! 1056 01:03:24,848 --> 01:03:26,907 - Joker has eyes on us. - Where? 1057 01:03:26,950 --> 01:03:30,852 No, I mean he literally has a giant eye on us. 1058 01:03:30,854 --> 01:03:33,914 I think that thing can see our every move. 1059 01:03:33,957 --> 01:03:37,893 We've got to destroy it, or we'll never make it to Wayne Manor. 1060 01:03:37,895 --> 01:03:40,497 Uh, Batman, I really think you should see this. 1061 01:03:40,521 --> 01:03:41,532 Building survey! 1062 01:03:42,233 --> 01:03:44,533 This building's not up to code! 1063 01:03:51,709 --> 01:03:52,609 Gotcha. 1064 01:03:55,979 --> 01:03:58,571 Is that real lava? 1065 01:03:59,195 --> 01:04:00,195 I'm okay! 1066 01:04:01,885 --> 01:04:04,386 Oh yeah, 100% lava. 1067 01:04:05,623 --> 01:04:08,717 - Everyone start throwing me bricks! - Right away, Sir. 1068 01:04:24,842 --> 01:04:26,935 Yes. We did it. Pretty cool, huh? 1069 01:04:26,977 --> 01:04:28,877 - Batman? - Yeah? 1070 01:04:28,912 --> 01:04:31,813 Why'd you build this thing with only one seat? 1071 01:04:31,815 --> 01:04:33,908 Because last I checked I only had one butt. 1072 01:04:33,917 --> 01:04:34,975 What the- 1073 01:04:35,018 --> 01:04:37,885 [WAYNE MANOR, WAYNE ISLAND] What have you done to Wayne Manor? 1074 01:04:37,888 --> 01:04:39,879 [JOKER MANOR, JOKER ISLAND] Hey, Batman... Guess what? 1075 01:04:39,890 --> 01:04:41,890 - I found out one of your secrets. - Uh-Oh. 1076 01:04:41,925 --> 01:04:43,918 What do we have here, Batman? 1077 01:04:43,961 --> 01:04:46,058 Looks like a bunch of relationship comedies. 1078 01:04:46,096 --> 01:04:48,564 - What's that? - Must Love Dogs. 1079 01:04:48,588 --> 01:04:49,866 Must love crying! 1080 01:04:49,867 --> 01:04:51,801 - Marley and Me. - I love the ending. 1081 01:04:51,835 --> 01:04:54,827 Oh! Serendipity! 1082 01:04:54,838 --> 01:04:56,806 We have Serendipity? I love that movie. 1083 01:04:56,807 --> 01:05:01,870 For a loner Batman, you sure like movies about relationships... 1084 01:05:01,912 --> 01:05:03,880 Oh, and look what else I found. 1085 01:05:03,881 --> 01:05:06,507 All your wonderful toys! 1086 01:05:07,951 --> 01:05:12,620 Accio lightning storm! 1087 01:05:13,291 --> 01:05:15,760 Everyone hold on! 1088 01:05:20,931 --> 01:05:24,591 Gremlins, dismantle that plane. Now. 1089 01:05:24,902 --> 01:05:26,961 Ugly monsters on our 3. 1090 01:05:28,272 --> 01:05:30,333 - Uh, Padre? - Not now, kid. 1091 01:05:31,875 --> 01:05:34,567 Kinda got my hands full. 1092 01:05:34,878 --> 01:05:37,804 I've got good tone. Firing! 1093 01:05:40,984 --> 01:05:42,975 - Uh, Batman? - What's up, buddy? 1094 01:05:43,020 --> 01:05:45,887 - Are we nearly at Wayne Manor? - Why? 1095 01:05:45,889 --> 01:05:47,982 Your number 2 needs to go number 1. 1096 01:05:48,025 --> 01:05:50,789 I thought I told you to go back in the prison. 1097 01:05:50,828 --> 01:05:52,796 - I tried but Bane was in there. - So? 1098 01:05:52,830 --> 01:05:54,957 He had this sort of 'get out of this bathroom now' vibe. 1099 01:05:54,965 --> 01:05:58,633 I knew I shouldn't have given you that water. 1100 01:05:59,570 --> 01:06:01,629 Can you hold it in like a big boy? 1101 01:06:01,839 --> 01:06:04,838 - Engine 1's out. - Not a big deal, it's fine. 1102 01:06:04,875 --> 01:06:06,968 - Engine 2 down. - It does that sometimes. 1103 01:06:06,977 --> 01:06:10,203 - We've lost engine 3. - Could live without it. 1104 01:06:11,582 --> 01:06:14,642 Engine 4... 1105 01:06:14,852 --> 01:06:15,876 That I do need to fix. 1106 01:06:15,919 --> 01:06:18,888 Good news, our bathroom problem is solved. 1107 01:06:20,858 --> 01:06:22,758 You 3 wait here while I go fix the engine. 1108 01:06:22,793 --> 01:06:25,023 Don't worry Batman: You fix the Batwing, I'll fly. 1109 01:06:25,028 --> 01:06:28,525 All good, Babs, I got my auto-pilot. Done. 1110 01:06:28,565 --> 01:06:31,825 Auto-pilot? That's a rope! - Exactly. Alright guys, 1111 01:06:31,835 --> 01:06:33,894 until I get back, rope's in charge. 1112 01:06:33,904 --> 01:06:36,405 Thanks, rope. 1113 01:06:45,949 --> 01:06:48,582 Come on Master Dick, we need to help him. 1114 01:06:48,619 --> 01:06:52,749 - I'm with you Grandpa! Get off my Padre! - Unhand him you animatronic fiends! 1115 01:06:52,956 --> 01:06:56,949 What are you 2 doing here? I told you to stay in the cockpit! 1116 01:06:56,994 --> 01:06:59,062 You disobeyed me. You're on a time-out. 1117 01:06:59,062 --> 01:07:01,760 - Batman, you're on a time-out! - What!? 1118 01:07:01,765 --> 01:07:03,093 Alfred, you'd better un-time-out me right now. 1119 01:07:03,133 --> 01:07:06,701 No! Not until you un-time-out Master Dick! 1120 01:07:06,970 --> 01:07:08,938 Guys! You're all un-time-outed! 1121 01:07:08,939 --> 01:07:11,799 - We have incoming! - Sir, watch out for those- 1122 01:07:17,981 --> 01:07:19,914 Okay, everybody time-out off. 1123 01:07:19,917 --> 01:07:22,551 - Woohoo! I've been parented! - Batman, I can help you! 1124 01:07:22,586 --> 01:07:25,044 - No, protect the rope! - The rope is fine. 1125 01:07:25,254 --> 01:07:26,823 Save Master Dick! 1126 01:07:26,857 --> 01:07:29,951 I'm fine, I'll just do one of my gymnastic moves- 1127 01:07:30,961 --> 01:07:33,462 No! 1128 01:07:42,539 --> 01:07:43,639 Gotcha! 1129 01:07:47,344 --> 01:07:49,872 Hold on, Alfred. I'm almost there. 1130 01:07:50,914 --> 01:07:52,114 No! 1131 01:07:54,718 --> 01:07:58,218 Alfred! 1132 01:08:05,629 --> 01:08:07,629 No. 1133 01:08:11,001 --> 01:08:13,436 No! 1134 01:08:13,937 --> 01:08:16,437 Move over, rope! 1135 01:08:17,040 --> 01:08:19,140 Hold on! 1136 01:08:32,389 --> 01:08:33,657 Gotcha! 1137 01:08:34,391 --> 01:08:37,817 Barbara, you see that? Bat-Rope saved Alfred! 1138 01:08:37,828 --> 01:08:39,989 Sick moves, bro. I never doubted you, bro. 1139 01:08:39,997 --> 01:08:44,724 - Actually Sir, Miss Gordon saved him. - Rope, you lied to me! 1140 01:08:44,735 --> 01:08:49,663 Wait a minute, you mean, without you, Alfred would have been... 1141 01:08:49,673 --> 01:08:50,965 ...street meat? 1142 01:08:50,974 --> 01:08:55,810 Batman... trust us. We can do this. 1143 01:08:55,812 --> 01:08:57,871 Yeah. I know gymkata! 1144 01:08:57,881 --> 01:08:58,848 Sorry, what's that? 1145 01:08:58,882 --> 01:09:00,747 It's a gymnastics-based martial art. 1146 01:09:00,751 --> 01:09:02,912 I could punch those 80s monsters off the plane. 1147 01:09:02,953 --> 01:09:04,853 Uh, okay. 1148 01:09:04,888 --> 01:09:06,879 Multiple bogies on our 6. 1149 01:09:06,890 --> 01:09:09,882 Sir, I'll get them off our back: I was a tail gunner for the Royal Air Force. 1150 01:09:09,926 --> 01:09:11,826 Locked and loaded, Sir. 1151 01:09:11,828 --> 01:09:13,819 Good, love that. I got an idea. 1152 01:09:13,830 --> 01:09:16,958 Prepare to change course. I want you to fly straight into that flaming eyeball. 1153 01:09:16,967 --> 01:09:20,467 - What? - Barbara... trust me. 1154 01:09:20,704 --> 01:09:23,301 Alright. Let's do this. 1155 01:09:29,946 --> 01:09:33,709 - Giant sea monster at 12 o'clock. - Got it. 1156 01:09:34,017 --> 01:09:37,517 - We've got his attention! - He's tracking us. 1157 01:09:40,658 --> 01:09:42,985 Ha ha ha! Got you now! 1158 01:09:47,531 --> 01:09:48,725 Eat dirt! 1159 01:09:49,032 --> 01:09:52,032 Bomb zero bogies, ruddy duck cobblers! 1160 01:09:57,674 --> 01:10:01,433 Okay babs, this is it, fly straight into that eye and wait for my signal. 1161 01:10:01,845 --> 01:10:02,903 Can it come now? 1162 01:10:02,946 --> 01:10:05,938 - Can we make the signal thing happen? - Almost there! 1163 01:10:05,949 --> 01:10:07,917 Almost there! 1164 01:10:07,951 --> 01:10:09,976 - Fire! - Almost there! 1165 01:10:09,986 --> 01:10:13,752 That fire's coming in hot... hot hot hot... 1166 01:10:13,757 --> 01:10:16,426 DIVE BOMB! 1167 01:10:17,561 --> 01:10:20,424 My eye! 1168 01:10:21,398 --> 01:10:24,026 [NO SIGNAL] SAURON! 1169 01:10:29,005 --> 01:10:32,071 Nothing to see... 1170 01:10:37,748 --> 01:10:41,707 - Whoo, we did it! - That was so rad! 1171 01:10:41,752 --> 01:10:44,812 Come on, let's hear it for us. That was incredible! 1172 01:10:44,821 --> 01:10:46,914 - I felt so jazzed! - I say jazzed! 1173 01:10:46,923 --> 01:10:48,914 I've gotta give it to you, Batman. That was awesome. 1174 01:10:48,959 --> 01:10:51,985 - And you were awesome, you were awesome, - Thanks. - I love compliments. 1175 01:10:51,995 --> 01:10:55,931 And I was amazing, but I'm not trying to make it about myself, obviously, 1176 01:10:55,932 --> 01:10:58,799 I just want to make sure that everyone gets a pat on the back. 1177 01:10:58,802 --> 01:10:59,962 - It feels good. - It does feel good! 1178 01:11:00,003 --> 01:11:03,871 You had a good idea, and you had a good idea, and you had a good idea, 1179 01:11:03,872 --> 01:11:03,873 and I had a great idea and I just, 1180 01:11:03,874 --> 01:11:08,004 I think that collectively, I'm gonna add... 1. 1181 01:11:09,780 --> 01:11:10,872 No way! 1182 01:11:10,881 --> 01:11:13,850 - Man, that feels good! - Best team ever! 1183 01:11:13,850 --> 01:11:15,909 Let's take a photo! Alright, everyone squeeze together... 1184 01:11:15,952 --> 01:11:18,819 Hang on a second. Gettin' my pump on. 1185 01:11:18,855 --> 01:11:20,015 - It's worth it! - Okay, everybody in? 1186 01:11:20,257 --> 01:11:23,683 - These abs are no fluke. - Everyone say 'Bat Family'! 1187 01:11:23,694 --> 01:11:27,790 - Bat Family! - Bat Familyyyyy.... 1188 01:11:27,931 --> 01:11:29,865 - Look at that. - Splendid. 1189 01:11:29,866 --> 01:11:32,829 Wow. Didn't it turn out great? 1190 01:11:33,870 --> 01:11:37,797 Hey guys, it's my first family photo! 1191 01:12:05,936 --> 01:12:08,503 Hey, Bat Dad. 1192 01:12:08,839 --> 01:12:11,899 - What are you doing? - I'm tryna give you a big old H-U-G. 1193 01:12:11,908 --> 01:12:13,709 Okay, just... 1194 01:12:14,878 --> 01:12:16,937 Batman, are you okay? 1195 01:12:16,947 --> 01:12:19,511 No, yeah, I'm fine. 1196 01:12:19,549 --> 01:12:26,046 We are just one big happy... fraternity of people, who did an awesome job together. 1197 01:12:26,656 --> 01:12:29,024 - I can't think of any other way to put that. - Cool. 1198 01:12:29,058 --> 01:12:30,751 So, guys, listen up... 1199 01:12:30,894 --> 01:12:34,887 Taking the projector from the Joker is gonna be our most dangerous mission yet. 1200 01:12:34,898 --> 01:12:36,898 - A family battle mission! - Right. 1201 01:12:36,901 --> 01:12:38,711 Salvage what you can out of the Scuttler, 1202 01:12:38,736 --> 01:12:41,736 maybe root around, see if you can find a few vitamin waters or something, 1203 01:12:41,770 --> 01:12:43,170 - then we'll head out. - Okay. 1204 01:12:43,205 --> 01:12:44,705 - Anything for you, Padre. 1205 01:12:48,945 --> 01:12:54,906 - We'll need snow shoes... - I don't think so, but could you grab that- 1206 01:12:54,951 --> 01:12:55,940 - Padre? - Batman? 1207 01:12:55,952 --> 01:12:58,787 - Sir? - What are you doing? 1208 01:12:58,822 --> 01:13:01,655 Batman, please, wait! 1209 01:13:01,658 --> 01:13:03,588 'Puter. 1210 01:13:03,994 --> 01:13:08,829 - Yes Sir. - I'm locking in some coordinates now. 1211 01:13:08,899 --> 01:13:12,858 Take the Scuttler to the taco stand on the border of Gotham City and Bludhaven. 1212 01:13:12,859 --> 01:13:13,344 No! 1213 01:13:13,369 --> 01:13:17,797 I want you to get these guys a couple of Chimichangas and 3 Jarritos. 1214 01:13:17,798 --> 01:13:18,183 Sir! 1215 01:13:18,208 --> 01:13:21,801 And then keep them there until this whole attack on Gotham City blows over. 1216 01:13:21,945 --> 01:13:26,973 - Padre, please! Don't do this. - Batman, you need us! 1217 01:13:26,983 --> 01:13:29,750 How many times I gotta tell you? 1218 01:13:29,853 --> 01:13:32,554 Batman works alone. 1219 01:13:32,689 --> 01:13:35,581 No, we have to stick together. 1220 01:13:35,825 --> 01:13:36,883 Please. 1221 01:13:36,927 --> 01:13:39,525 Go on, Scuttler, go! 1222 01:13:39,763 --> 01:13:41,754 - Go! Just get out of here! - Batman! 1223 01:13:41,765 --> 01:13:43,960 - Get moving! - Please! 1224 01:13:44,000 --> 01:13:46,798 - Just go. - Batman! 1225 01:13:46,836 --> 01:13:49,805 - Scuttler, move out! - You're doing the wrong thing! 1226 01:13:49,806 --> 01:13:51,644 Listen to me, don't do this! 1227 01:13:51,669 --> 01:13:53,789 Nooo! 1228 01:14:15,031 --> 01:14:19,601 - Scanning for intruders... - Scanning for intruders... 1229 01:14:22,640 --> 01:14:23,840 Hi Bats. 1230 01:14:23,890 --> 01:14:27,051 What have you done to my... to Bruce Wayne's house? 1231 01:14:27,110 --> 01:14:29,979 You'd better hope he's a cool guy and doesn't go crazy. 1232 01:14:30,013 --> 01:14:33,779 - What happened to all your friends? - I don't need friends. 1233 01:14:33,817 --> 01:14:36,611 I don't need anyone to stop you. 1234 01:14:37,020 --> 01:14:41,614 Are you sure about that? Look in the mirror Batman. 1235 01:14:42,025 --> 01:14:45,893 When I saw you working with your friend family, 1236 01:14:45,895 --> 01:14:48,989 I actually thought you'd changed. But no. 1237 01:14:49,032 --> 01:14:51,732 You pushed them away. 1238 01:14:54,804 --> 01:14:57,305 You've run away from every other person in your life, 1239 01:14:57,330 --> 01:14:59,935 but I'm the one you're always chasing. 1240 01:14:59,976 --> 01:15:05,004 - Is this about that stupid 'greatest enemy' thing? - No, it's not. 1241 01:15:05,015 --> 01:15:07,813 - Not anymore. - You tell him, Joker. 1242 01:15:07,851 --> 01:15:10,820 - Time for a fresh start. - HE'S NOT WORTH IT. 1243 01:15:10,820 --> 01:15:16,555 - I think after 78 years, I deserve respect. - That is right, respect! 1244 01:15:16,693 --> 01:15:21,158 Do you realize that you have never once said the words, 1245 01:15:21,783 --> 01:15:25,792 - 'I hate you Joker'? - Not once. 1246 01:15:25,835 --> 01:15:29,931 Well I am starting to feel pretty annoyed with you right now. That's for darn sure. 1247 01:15:29,939 --> 01:15:32,908 I know it, we said the same thing! 1248 01:15:32,942 --> 01:15:39,006 Listen, Batman. I... hate you. 1249 01:15:39,015 --> 01:15:41,445 - Aww! - That's nice! 1250 01:15:41,585 --> 01:15:43,178 Now you say it. 1251 01:15:44,721 --> 01:15:45,821 Me too. 1252 01:15:49,559 --> 01:15:51,720 You won't. You won't change. 1253 01:15:51,961 --> 01:15:54,828 Cause you can't. You won't, and you can't. 1254 01:15:54,831 --> 01:15:56,799 Batman will never change! 1255 01:15:56,800 --> 01:15:58,893 You know uncle boo? Just shut it down. 1256 01:15:58,935 --> 01:16:01,927 - These diseased lunatics are right. - Yes, we are. 1257 01:16:01,971 --> 01:16:07,807 - I'm not gonna be part of a one-sided relationship any longer! - Yes! 1258 01:16:07,811 --> 01:16:09,836 - What are you talking about? - You and I are done. 1259 01:16:09,879 --> 01:16:11,847 - What is wrong with you? - I'm moving on! 1260 01:16:11,881 --> 01:16:18,753 - That's ridiculous. - And on my way out, I'm gonna blow up Gotham City! 1261 01:16:18,755 --> 01:16:22,987 - No, you're not serious! - Wingardium Leviosa! 1262 01:16:23,026 --> 01:16:27,963 You know what, for once Batman you're right. I'm not your greatest enemy. 1263 01:16:27,964 --> 01:16:31,092 Your greatest enemy is you. 1264 01:16:31,117 --> 01:16:33,960 - Goodbye, Batman. - Wait a minute, hold on a second! 1265 01:16:33,970 --> 01:16:36,768 - Good for you, boo boo! - Yay! 1266 01:16:36,806 --> 01:16:40,806 Everything get a bomb, let's go. Bomb, bomb, bomb, let's bomb it out. 1267 01:16:44,781 --> 01:16:47,278 Say goodbye Gotham City! 1268 01:16:47,702 --> 01:16:49,902 [♪ THE PHANTOM ZONE] 1269 01:16:58,528 --> 01:17:01,956 - HI! - Oh, I am so sorry! 1270 01:17:01,965 --> 01:17:06,732 It's my fault, I keep doing that. Welcome to the Phantom Zone, bad guy. 1271 01:17:06,769 --> 01:17:08,896 What are you talking about? I'm not a bad guy. 1272 01:17:08,938 --> 01:17:12,806 But you're all in black, you have a cape, and you wear a big scary mask. 1273 01:17:12,809 --> 01:17:14,868 - Well I'm not. - And you kicked me in the face! 1274 01:17:14,911 --> 01:17:18,904 - Listen, I'm Batman. - Oof, you even sound like a bad guy. 1275 01:17:18,948 --> 01:17:22,782 - I swear, I'm a good guy. - Okay, Mr Batman, 1276 01:17:22,785 --> 01:17:24,912 hold still while I scan you. 1277 01:17:24,954 --> 01:17:26,922 Scanning for badness... 1278 01:17:26,923 --> 01:17:29,790 - You're super nimble, right? - I sure am! 1279 01:17:29,792 --> 01:17:33,819 - And 110% expendable. - I don't know what that means, but okay. 1280 01:17:33,830 --> 01:17:36,993 - How'd I do, Dad? - Mediocre. And don't call me dad. 1281 01:17:37,033 --> 01:17:38,433 Sorry. 1282 01:17:39,903 --> 01:17:42,838 Alfred, put that kid on the next jet to the orphanage. 1283 01:17:42,839 --> 01:17:47,902 But doesn't he deserve a chance for someone to take him under their wing? 1284 01:17:47,944 --> 01:17:50,879 As I took you under mine? 1285 01:17:50,880 --> 01:17:56,741 Listen, you don't have a family, so what do you know about having a surrogate son? 1286 01:17:59,589 --> 01:18:03,619 Batman, we have to stick together. 1287 01:18:03,960 --> 01:18:06,427 Please. 1288 01:18:07,030 --> 01:18:11,933 Joker, you mean nothing to me. 1289 01:18:12,657 --> 01:18:14,757 No one does. 1290 01:18:18,500 --> 01:18:24,000 You're not a traditional bad guy, but you're not exactly a good guy either. 1291 01:18:24,681 --> 01:18:27,878 You even abandon your friends. 1292 01:18:28,017 --> 01:18:30,884 - What? - Go on Scuttler, go! 1293 01:18:30,920 --> 01:18:32,717 - Batman, don't do this. 1294 01:18:32,755 --> 01:18:37,849 - No, I was trying to protect them! - By pushing them away? 1295 01:18:37,860 --> 01:18:39,919 Well, yeah. 1296 01:18:39,963 --> 01:18:43,856 Are they really the ones you're protecting? 1297 01:18:45,868 --> 01:18:49,770 Computer, Batman's in danger. Please Computer, take us back. 1298 01:18:49,772 --> 01:18:51,921 Do you really want the man who made you to come to harm? 1299 01:18:51,946 --> 01:18:53,868 Batman programmed me to obey him. 1300 01:18:53,876 --> 01:18:56,845 but he didn't say to not not rescue him. 1301 01:18:56,879 --> 01:18:57,846 What are they doing? 1302 01:18:57,847 --> 01:19:01,977 Come on guys, hustle, Gotham City's not going to blow itself up! 1303 01:19:02,018 --> 01:19:05,018 Well, hello. 1304 01:19:09,359 --> 01:19:12,356 'Puter, go to super secret stealth mode. 1305 01:19:14,897 --> 01:19:16,662 - Hold on! - No! 1306 01:19:16,699 --> 01:19:20,863 Evil buddies, those are my last 3 painful reminders of Batman. 1307 01:19:20,970 --> 01:19:22,995 Run! Come on Alfred, this way! 1308 01:19:23,039 --> 01:19:27,942 - Wait, where's Dick? - The little guy? He's over there. 1309 01:19:27,944 --> 01:19:30,845 - What's he doing? - Gotta save my family. 1310 01:19:30,847 --> 01:19:32,974 Just think, what would Batman do? 1311 01:19:33,016 --> 01:19:34,779 - What? - I know, 1312 01:19:34,784 --> 01:19:37,245 not listen to anyone else, be mean to people, 1313 01:19:37,270 --> 01:19:40,984 destroy as much property as possible, talk in a really low gravelly voice, 1314 01:19:40,990 --> 01:19:42,855 and go it alone. 1315 01:19:42,892 --> 01:19:43,881 Kid, don't do that! 1316 01:19:43,926 --> 01:19:46,985 Atomic batteries to power. Turbines to speed. 1317 01:19:47,030 --> 01:19:49,898 Don't do what I would do! I never even taught you how to drive! 1318 01:19:49,899 --> 01:19:53,926 Hold on a second, brick lady. I'm so sorry, I need to get down there and stop this. 1319 01:19:53,970 --> 01:19:56,871 I can't let you go, my boss will be really mad at me. 1320 01:19:56,873 --> 01:20:00,934 Yeah, but I bet your boss would be happy if you were able to get all those bad guys back in here. 1321 01:20:00,943 --> 01:20:04,879 - Hmm, she sure would. - Then let me try, let me get down there and help them. 1322 01:20:04,914 --> 01:20:07,508 But haven't you tried that before? 1323 01:20:08,285 --> 01:20:09,785 This way Alfred. 1324 01:20:11,020 --> 01:20:14,679 You do the same thing over and over. 1325 01:20:17,960 --> 01:20:20,561 What's gonna change? 1326 01:20:22,465 --> 01:20:24,490 I know what I need to do. 1327 01:20:24,701 --> 01:20:27,894 Just give me 24 hours and I'll come back. 1328 01:20:29,005 --> 01:20:31,705 You've gotta let me go down there and save them. 1329 01:20:33,476 --> 01:20:34,976 I'll do whatever you want. 1330 01:20:35,912 --> 01:20:37,669 - Please. - EXTERMINATE. 1331 01:20:37,694 --> 01:20:38,872 Please. 1332 01:20:39,015 --> 01:20:43,709 - Okay, but I need all the bad guys locked up in here. - I promise. 1333 01:20:44,987 --> 01:20:48,021 And I mean all of them. 1334 01:20:48,758 --> 01:20:50,883 One of these buttons has to save my friends! 1335 01:20:50,927 --> 01:20:54,263 - Self-destruct mode activated. - Self what? 1336 01:20:54,897 --> 01:20:57,731 - Master Dick! - No! 1337 01:21:00,870 --> 01:21:03,096 Look who's bat! 1338 01:21:03,706 --> 01:21:04,906 What? 1339 01:21:13,650 --> 01:21:15,811 Everyone okay? Dick, Alfred, Barbara? 1340 01:21:16,018 --> 01:21:19,286 - Are you guys- - We're fine, Batman. 1341 01:21:20,990 --> 01:21:25,490 Listen, I just wanted to say... 1342 01:21:27,597 --> 01:21:33,729 That I'm really... really... really... 1343 01:21:33,970 --> 01:21:37,997 really really really... really really... 1344 01:21:42,879 --> 01:21:47,516 sooooo... 1345 01:21:47,817 --> 01:21:51,713 - Sorry? - Yeah! Woo, I did it! 1346 01:21:53,856 --> 01:21:56,616 I don't even know why you bothered coming back. 1347 01:21:58,861 --> 01:22:02,925 I... was... afraid. 1348 01:22:03,032 --> 01:22:04,930 What? 1349 01:22:06,002 --> 01:22:11,907 The reason I came back was the same reason I left you. 1350 01:22:13,610 --> 01:22:20,675 I was afraid... of feeling... the pain... 1351 01:22:20,917 --> 01:22:26,014 you feel... when you lose... 1352 01:22:26,022 --> 01:22:29,022 ...someone close to you. 1353 01:22:36,499 --> 01:22:38,660 Gotham needs us. 1354 01:22:38,968 --> 01:22:42,995 So I came back to do this. 1355 01:22:43,039 --> 01:22:45,435 Flip. 1356 01:22:45,541 --> 01:22:47,230 Flip? What is that, I don't- 1357 01:22:47,276 --> 01:22:50,569 You gotta turn around. 1358 01:22:50,980 --> 01:22:56,850 I call it the Babs Signal, and I'm flipping the switch for you. 1359 01:22:56,853 --> 01:23:00,512 Because saving this city is too big a job for one person. 1360 01:23:00,557 --> 01:23:03,349 Flip, flip. 1361 01:23:06,963 --> 01:23:12,759 So what do you say, Commish? Will you work with me? 1362 01:23:12,869 --> 01:23:15,638 I need your help. 1363 01:23:15,872 --> 01:23:18,464 I thought you'd never ask. 1364 01:23:19,675 --> 01:23:21,905 I'm very, very proud of you, son. 1365 01:23:22,011 --> 01:23:26,004 But there's still only 4 of us against Joker's entire army. 1366 01:23:26,048 --> 01:23:28,778 That's why I called in some backup. 1367 01:23:28,784 --> 01:23:31,912 Flip flip flip flip... 1368 01:23:31,921 --> 01:23:35,755 - Woah! - We saw your signal and we came to help! 1369 01:23:35,758 --> 01:23:37,988 Joker may be done with us, but we're not done with him. 1370 01:23:38,027 --> 01:23:42,964 - We will be the Joker's reckoning! - Joker said mean stuff to us. 1371 01:23:42,965 --> 01:23:48,926 You were right Barbara: It takes a village, not a Batman. 1372 01:23:49,972 --> 01:23:52,770 Okay, everybody listen up. 1373 01:23:52,775 --> 01:23:55,938 These monsters wanna destroy Gotham City. 1374 01:23:55,978 --> 01:23:58,003 That's right. We need sick new vehicles. 1375 01:23:58,047 --> 01:24:00,743 An arsenal of advanced weaponry. 1376 01:24:00,750 --> 01:24:03,014 Costumes that suit our individual personalities. 1377 01:24:03,019 --> 01:24:03,951 RIP! 1378 01:24:03,986 --> 01:24:06,819 And codenames to use on our walkie-talkies. 1379 01:24:06,856 --> 01:24:09,825 - Call it out! Your name is... Lady Bat. - Lady Bat? 1380 01:24:09,859 --> 01:24:11,548 - Bat Lady. - Veto. - Batarina. - No. 1381 01:24:11,573 --> 01:24:13,818 - Soccer-Mom Bat. - What? 1382 01:24:13,829 --> 01:24:15,990 How about a cool costume? Nice! 1383 01:24:16,032 --> 01:24:20,731 - That one's called 'Batgirl'. - If I'm Batgirl, I can call you Batboy? 1384 01:24:20,736 --> 01:24:25,969 And lastly, a coordinated attack strategy and a kick butt theme song. Robin? 1385 01:24:26,008 --> 01:24:29,574 - My superhero codename! - Oh yeah! Hit it! 1386 01:24:29,579 --> 01:24:30,479 Got it! 1387 01:24:30,750 --> 01:24:33,550 [♪ WAKE ME UP BEFORE YOU GO-GO] No! 1388 01:24:33,700 --> 01:24:36,900 [♪ NEVER GONNA GIVE YOU UP] Ugh! 1389 01:24:36,920 --> 01:24:39,821 [♪ FLY ROBIN FLY] Absolutely not. 1390 01:24:39,845 --> 01:24:42,345 [♪ HEROES (WE COULD BE)] 1391 01:24:42,758 --> 01:24:45,818 This music is filling me with rage. 1392 01:24:45,861 --> 01:24:47,688 Let's use it. 1393 01:24:47,997 --> 01:24:50,664 Alright team, I'm gonna need to know your special powers. 1394 01:24:50,900 --> 01:24:53,801 - I'm a giant clay person! - I'm irritating! 1395 01:24:53,836 --> 01:24:56,787 [CONVERSATION OVERLAPPING] 1396 01:24:56,812 --> 01:24:57,738 [CONVERSATION OVERLAPPING] - Ketchup! 1397 01:24:57,740 --> 01:25:00,868 - Nice! Orca? - I'm a whale. 1398 01:25:00,910 --> 01:25:02,844 Oh, we got this covered! 1399 01:25:06,816 --> 01:25:08,016 Whale yeah! 1400 01:25:10,520 --> 01:25:12,249 Shh, quiet. 1401 01:25:12,588 --> 01:25:14,647 Who's laying down those funky beats? 1402 01:25:14,857 --> 01:25:16,950 We are! 1403 01:25:16,993 --> 01:25:18,556 Batman!? 1404 01:25:18,561 --> 01:25:20,756 Evil Army, get rid of them! 1405 01:25:20,997 --> 01:25:23,932 Team Gotham Family, activate! 1406 01:25:23,933 --> 01:25:25,233 Voldy's got this. 1407 01:25:38,957 --> 01:25:39,857 Woah. 1408 01:25:39,882 --> 01:25:43,784 Batman, take out Joker's bomb. I'll get that projector. 1409 01:25:43,786 --> 01:25:45,479 10-4. 1410 01:25:45,921 --> 01:25:50,721 - Freeze, Clayface, Take this guy out! - Coming through! 1411 01:25:54,564 --> 01:25:56,992 Okay Alfred, bring the pain. 1412 01:25:58,000 --> 01:26:02,403 Bringing it Sir, for Queen and country! 1413 01:26:02,938 --> 01:26:05,438 You just got union jacked! 1414 01:26:06,942 --> 01:26:11,003 Robin, get ready. I'm about to teach you some father and son stuff. 1415 01:26:11,547 --> 01:26:14,807 - First, driving. Put your hands at 10 to 2. - Okay. 1416 01:26:14,817 --> 01:26:17,911 Now fly. Turn left. 1417 01:26:17,953 --> 01:26:22,014 Run over these skeletons. Now drive up the wall. 1418 01:26:22,458 --> 01:26:24,986 - Great driving! - Thanks, Padre. 1419 01:26:27,930 --> 01:26:31,564 Okay, Robin, together we're gonna punch these guys so hard 1420 01:26:31,567 --> 01:26:36,467 words describing the impact are going to spontaneously materialize out of thin air. 1421 01:26:47,883 --> 01:26:48,850 High five! 1422 01:26:48,851 --> 01:26:51,012 Stop moving around, muggle! 1423 01:26:51,020 --> 01:26:54,617 Alright team, let's shut him down. 1424 01:26:54,657 --> 01:26:56,384 Orca, you're up baby. 1425 01:26:56,926 --> 01:27:00,828 You wanna see a magic trick? I'm gonna make you disappear! 1426 01:27:00,830 --> 01:27:03,799 - Wingardium Levio- - Yoink! 1427 01:27:03,799 --> 01:27:06,859 Wingardium Levio shut up! 1428 01:27:06,902 --> 01:27:10,538 Welcome to the Phantom Zone, bad guy. 1429 01:27:10,840 --> 01:27:14,867 Here we go, Bat Team. Batman's in sight. 1430 01:27:16,779 --> 01:27:22,775 - Welcome to the Phantom Zone, bad guy. - Robin, go long! 1431 01:27:23,819 --> 01:27:25,810 Oh my gosh, yes! 1432 01:27:25,855 --> 01:27:27,855 Here you go, grandpa. 1433 01:27:28,691 --> 01:27:29,491 Hey Batman! 1434 01:27:32,962 --> 01:27:35,988 Get off my Padre! 1435 01:27:36,566 --> 01:27:40,894 It wasn't useless after all! End this, Batgirl! 1436 01:27:42,838 --> 01:27:45,530 Adios, Shark! 1437 01:27:45,941 --> 01:27:49,241 Okay, we have 'em beat guys. I'm gonna go defuse that- 1438 01:28:01,657 --> 01:28:03,857 It's the end of Gotham City! 1439 01:28:04,960 --> 01:28:08,594 As I predicted... we're doomed! 1440 01:28:08,831 --> 01:28:11,891 We're not doomed, I got this. 1441 01:28:11,901 --> 01:28:14,836 Everyone grab on to me. 1442 01:28:14,870 --> 01:28:18,600 Come on guys, we need to hold this city together! 1443 01:28:19,609 --> 01:28:22,937 - Bat-Rope, no! - Everybody run! 1444 01:28:22,945 --> 01:28:25,971 No, we have to stick together! Right, Batman? 1445 01:28:26,015 --> 01:28:29,917 - We need to use our heads - Maybe we should build something together. 1446 01:28:29,919 --> 01:28:34,879 - Stick together... - Build something... 1447 01:28:37,960 --> 01:28:42,721 I got it! You're right Babs, we need to stick together... literally! 1448 01:28:42,731 --> 01:28:45,967 - Robin, quick, give me a boost! - On it, Padre! 1449 01:28:45,968 --> 01:28:50,871 We're gonna stick together using our heads, and the most powerful weapon of all, 1450 01:28:50,873 --> 01:28:53,700 shredded abs. Let's do this. 1451 01:28:55,310 --> 01:28:59,805 - You got this, Alfred? - Yes, Sir. Abs of steel! 1452 01:28:59,815 --> 01:29:03,850 Great! Now you bend, and I'll grab the other side. 1453 01:29:04,887 --> 01:29:06,087 No! 1454 01:29:11,927 --> 01:29:16,955 - Joker, please, help us. - No, I'm not going to help you! 1455 01:29:16,999 --> 01:29:22,869 at least if this city is destroyed, I'll die knowing I'm your greatest enemy. 1456 01:29:22,905 --> 01:29:24,964 I have to die to know it. 1457 01:29:25,007 --> 01:29:31,576 Shut up Joker! If there's no Gotham, then I'll never get to fight you again! 1458 01:29:31,814 --> 01:29:33,305 What? 1459 01:29:33,816 --> 01:29:39,755 You're the reason why I get up at 4 o'clock in the afternoon and pump iron until my chest is positively sick. 1460 01:29:39,755 --> 01:29:44,783 You're the reason I've given up a life spent with Russian ballerinas and Lady Activewear models. 1461 01:29:44,827 --> 01:29:50,857 And if it wasn't for you, I never would have learned how connected I am with all these people... 1462 01:29:50,866 --> 01:29:52,559 ...and you. 1463 01:29:53,536 --> 01:29:57,400 So if you help me save Gotham... 1464 01:29:57,973 --> 01:30:00,674 ...you'll help me save us. 1465 01:30:00,876 --> 01:30:03,609 You just said, ''us''? 1466 01:30:03,746 --> 01:30:08,879 Yeah. Batman and the Joker. 1467 01:30:08,984 --> 01:30:11,617 What do you say? 1468 01:30:11,820 --> 01:30:14,580 You had me at 'shut up'. 1469 01:30:15,824 --> 01:30:19,988 - How are your abs, bro? - Too much flab, not enough ab. Why? 1470 01:30:19,995 --> 01:30:22,525 Because I need you to crunch them. 1471 01:30:22,765 --> 01:30:26,758 Citizens of Gotham! We need all of you to join us 1472 01:30:26,769 --> 01:30:29,666 and help bring this city back together. 1473 01:30:54,897 --> 01:30:56,990 I'm just gonna come right out and say it. 1474 01:30:56,999 --> 01:30:59,866 I hate you, Joker. 1475 01:30:59,902 --> 01:31:01,893 - I hate you, too. - I hate you more. 1476 01:31:01,904 --> 01:31:06,341 - I hate you the most. - I hate you forever. 1477 01:31:08,944 --> 01:31:10,444 We did it everyone! 1478 01:31:14,500 --> 01:31:17,300 Bane is feeling warm and fuzzy. 1479 01:31:21,991 --> 01:31:23,682 Padre. 1480 01:31:24,026 --> 01:31:26,017 Where you going? 1481 01:31:26,028 --> 01:31:27,928 I made a promise. 1482 01:31:27,963 --> 01:31:30,955 I gotta go back to the Phantom Zone. 1483 01:31:30,966 --> 01:31:34,800 - Sorry, kid. - Padre, please! 1484 01:31:34,837 --> 01:31:38,864 - Don't call me Padre. - Okay. 1485 01:31:38,907 --> 01:31:41,340 Call me... 1486 01:31:43,946 --> 01:31:45,446 Dads. 1487 01:31:45,981 --> 01:31:49,974 My 2 dads are the same dad! 1488 01:31:50,019 --> 01:31:53,955 But, they're both leaving. 1489 01:31:53,989 --> 01:31:57,015 It's gonna be okay, kid. 1490 01:31:57,660 --> 01:32:00,586 Sometimes losing people is part of life. 1491 01:32:00,796 --> 01:32:04,632 But that doesn't mean you stop letting them in. 1492 01:32:04,667 --> 01:32:07,730 Some very wise people taught me that. 1493 01:32:07,970 --> 01:32:10,939 My father figure. 1494 01:32:10,939 --> 01:32:13,874 My platonic co-worker buddy, 1495 01:32:13,909 --> 01:32:17,577 who's a girl, but just a friend. 1496 01:32:17,946 --> 01:32:26,877 And you... 'Mi Hijo'. It's Spanish for 'son'. 1497 01:32:27,856 --> 01:32:34,562 This is my family, but it's your family too. 1498 01:33:36,925 --> 01:33:38,817 - You have a knife? - Why? 1499 01:33:38,826 --> 01:33:42,262 Because someone needs to cut the tension between the 2 of us. 1500 01:33:44,032 --> 01:33:46,830 - Okay, I deserve that. - Hi! 1501 01:33:46,869 --> 01:33:48,837 Wait a minute, what's going on? 1502 01:33:48,871 --> 01:33:50,964 I came back, just like I said I would, 1503 01:33:50,973 --> 01:33:52,873 You know, Mr Batman, 1504 01:33:52,908 --> 01:33:55,877 when you're a talking brick working at the Phantom Zone 1505 01:33:55,878 --> 01:33:58,745 you see a lot of crazy things. 1506 01:33:58,780 --> 01:34:02,841 But I've finally seen a man, in order to make the world a better place, 1507 01:34:02,851 --> 01:34:06,014 take a look at himself, and make a change. 1508 01:34:06,021 --> 01:34:07,818 Who? 1509 01:34:07,856 --> 01:34:09,790 - Superman. - WHAT!? 1510 01:34:09,825 --> 01:34:12,885 I'm kidding. It's you! 1511 01:34:14,029 --> 01:34:16,896 Well, I guess I'll be seeing you on the streets, Batman. 1512 01:34:16,899 --> 01:34:21,802 - I guess so. catch you later, Joker. - Let's go, gang! 1513 01:34:21,803 --> 01:34:23,930 We're not just gonna let these criminals go, right? 1514 01:34:23,939 --> 01:34:27,875 Ah come on Comish, let's face it, those guys are no match for the 4 of us. 1515 01:34:27,910 --> 01:34:33,649 We'll give them a 30 minute head start. Besides, you can't fight crime on an empty stomach. 1516 01:34:33,673 --> 01:34:35,016 [♪ MAN IN THE MIRROR] 1517 01:34:35,017 --> 01:34:39,818 - Hey Computer. - We're home! 1518 01:34:41,023 --> 01:34:45,226 - What is the password? - Iron Man sucks! 1519 01:35:00,709 --> 01:35:05,338 You... complete me. 1520 01:35:17,993 --> 01:35:22,387 Holy family photo, Batman! I love it! 1521 01:35:28,003 --> 01:35:29,003 White. 1522 01:35:29,027 --> 01:35:33,999 All important movies end with a white screen. 1523 01:35:34,009 --> 01:35:36,000 And tying up loose ends... 1524 01:35:36,044 --> 01:35:40,003 - We're coming for you, Gotham City! - Like this Snake-Clowns bit. 1525 01:35:40,015 --> 01:35:42,545 - Snake clowns? - Told you they were real. 1526 01:35:42,551 --> 01:35:46,520 Did you stick wigs onto snakes? That is so weird! 1527 01:35:46,654 --> 01:35:48,848 Hey, can I play that song I wrote for the end credits? 1528 01:35:48,890 --> 01:35:50,983 - That's a hard pass. - Come on! 1529 01:35:50,993 --> 01:35:52,984 - Let the kid play whatever music he wants! - No no no! 1530 01:35:53,028 --> 01:35:55,895 - Please? - No! - Padre? 1531 01:35:55,897 --> 01:35:59,924 - Fine. 'Puter. - Okay, Sir. 1532 01:35:59,935 --> 01:36:02,000 Now playing, [♪ ROBIN'S HAPPY POPPY MUSIC] 1533 01:36:02,025 --> 01:36:05,965 The kind that makes parents and studio executives happy. 1534 01:36:06,008 --> 01:36:09,472 ♪ I wake up early in the morning ♪ and I'm texting you 1535 01:36:10,046 --> 01:36:12,274 Hey Robin, it's 7:30! 1536 01:36:12,298 --> 01:36:15,898 ♪ Well that's okay I'm ready ♪ to fight crime with you, the Dark Knight! 1537 01:36:15,922 --> 01:36:17,722 I'll be sleeping past 2! 1538 01:36:17,746 --> 01:36:21,846 ♪ We sometimes fight (BOOM POW BAM) ♪ but we always make up! 1539 01:36:21,900 --> 01:36:24,200 - Hey man I'm sorry - It's okay! 1540 01:36:24,200 --> 01:36:27,000 ♪ We're not related ♪ but here's good news 1541 01:36:27,024 --> 01:36:29,724 ♪ Friends are the family ♪ you can choose 1542 01:36:29,748 --> 01:36:32,948 ♪ High five, down low, ♪ to the side, let's go! 1543 01:36:33,080 --> 01:36:36,080 ♪ You're my best friend ♪ my best friend 1544 01:36:37,100 --> 01:36:38,800 ♪ And friends are family 1545 01:36:38,900 --> 01:36:42,400 ♪ You're my best friend ♪ my best friend 1546 01:36:43,200 --> 01:36:45,412 ♪ And friends are family 1547 01:36:45,437 --> 01:36:47,347 ♪ You're my family! 1548 01:36:47,348 --> 01:36:49,648 ♪ Come on everybody and sing 1549 01:36:49,751 --> 01:36:51,551 - Come on, Batman! - No! 1550 01:36:51,675 --> 01:36:54,075 ♪ You're my best friend, my best friend 1551 01:36:54,700 --> 01:36:56,700 ♪ And friends are family 1552 01:36:56,924 --> 01:36:59,424 ♪ Best friends! My friends are the best! 1553 01:37:00,280 --> 01:37:02,780 ♪ Best friends! My friends are the best! 1554 01:37:02,804 --> 01:37:04,627 My friends are the best. 1555 01:37:04,728 --> 01:37:08,428 ♪ I got a utility belt ♪ A sparkly cape 1556 01:37:08,500 --> 01:37:11,300 ♪ Saw the signal so I'm heading ♪ back to the cave 1557 01:37:11,376 --> 01:37:14,576 - Well I'm all smiles! - It's Joker! Don't be afraid. 1558 01:37:14,576 --> 01:37:18,576 We'll always bet on black. That's a fact, come on Robin watch my back! 1559 01:37:18,600 --> 01:37:20,800 ♪ Well I don't think that you ♪ were happy till I met you 1560 01:37:20,882 --> 01:37:21,582 I was. 1561 01:37:21,606 --> 01:37:26,806 ♪ I know you're playing buddy, we can't lose ♪ Cause friends are the family you can choose 1562 01:37:26,888 --> 01:37:30,847 Robin gimme the mic, drop the beat, think you can handle that? 1562 01:37:31,805 --> 01:37:38,329 Support us and become VIP member to remove all ads from www.OpenSubtitles.org