1
00:03:31,391 --> 00:03:33,031
My name is Harris K. Telemacher.
2
00:03:34,352 --> 00:03:37,232
I live in L.A. and I've
had seven heart attacks...
3
00:03:37,312 --> 00:03:39,432
all imagined.
4
00:03:39,512 --> 00:03:42,993
I was deeply unhappy
but I didn't know it...
5
00:03:43,073 --> 00:03:45,472
because I was so
happy all the time.
6
00:03:54,714 --> 00:03:58,355
I have a favorite quote about
L.A. by William Shakespeare:
7
00:03:59,035 --> 00:04:02,474
He said, "This other
Eden... demi-paradise..."
8
00:04:02,555 --> 00:04:06,115
This precious stone, set in
the silver sea of this earth...
9
00:04:06,195 --> 00:04:09,956
this realm... this Los Angeles.”
10
00:04:12,276 --> 00:04:14,996
Anyway, this is what
happened to me...
11
00:04:15,077 --> 00:04:17,397
and I swear, its all true.
12
00:04:18,116 --> 00:04:20,677
Watch out L.A.! It's major
gridlock out there this morning.
13
00:04:20,757 --> 00:04:24,638
Big hold-ups on all the freeways
and surface streets, so don't expect...
14
00:05:35,327 --> 00:05:36,286
Hey!
15
00:05:42,447 --> 00:05:44,047
No, no, no, no...
16
00:05:44,127 --> 00:05:45,888
- Harry!
- It's the perfect situation!
17
00:05:45,967 --> 00:05:48,527
- I'm telling you as your agent.
- I can't be in a parade!
18
00:05:48,608 --> 00:05:51,048
I'm in the news. You won't see
Diane Sawyer or Dan Rather...
19
00:05:51,128 --> 00:05:53,488
- in the Hollywood Day Parade.
- 15 seconds to air!
20
00:05:53,569 --> 00:05:55,372
Oh, 15 seconds... What
good is it gonna do me...
21
00:05:55,449 --> 00:05:56,946
to stand in a convertible
and wave at people?
22
00:05:56,969 --> 00:05:58,809
It's gonna make you beloved.
23
00:05:58,889 --> 00:06:01,049
Waving is not what I
do best. It looks fake.
24
00:06:01,129 --> 00:06:03,329
That's a great wave!
That's a great wave!
25
00:06:03,410 --> 00:06:06,130
Look, I have to maintain some
dignity. People have to respect me...
26
00:06:06,210 --> 00:06:08,010
So they'll believe
what I'm telling them.
27
00:06:08,090 --> 00:06:10,090
This is news! This is truth!
28
00:06:10,170 --> 00:06:12,051
Now, Harris Telemacher
with his report.
29
00:06:12,130 --> 00:06:17,131
Hey, hey, hey, it's time for the
wac-wac-wacky Weekend Weather!
30
00:06:19,291 --> 00:06:23,052
- Let's look at our weather map.
- Oh! Hey! Whoa! Watch it! Oh, sorry.
31
00:06:23,132 --> 00:06:26,652
We're going to have a low
coming in over "Pasadna..."
32
00:06:26,733 --> 00:06:28,412
Sorry, that's
Pasadena... A low here...
33
00:06:28,493 --> 00:06:31,573
No, down there... We
were going to have clouds...
34
00:06:31,653 --> 00:06:34,053
in Beverly Hills, but the
Council voted, decided against it.
35
00:06:34,133 --> 00:06:37,254
So there'll be no rain in Beverly
Hills. We'll just have some sun...
36
00:06:37,333 --> 00:06:42,214
and snow... 72 and snow.
That's what we'll have.
37
00:06:43,495 --> 00:06:46,254
And now the car phone report.
38
00:06:46,335 --> 00:06:48,535
Sunspot activity is at
a minimum this week.
39
00:06:48,615 --> 00:06:51,335
So those with car phones will
have little or no interference.
40
00:06:51,416 --> 00:06:55,736
So go ahead and make that big important
call. You probably won't be disconnected.
41
00:06:55,816 --> 00:06:58,016
And that's my
report. Gail and Bob...
42
00:07:01,496 --> 00:07:05,457
Harris, somebody told me you
have a PhD. in Arts and Humanities.
43
00:07:05,537 --> 00:07:08,578
- Oh, yes, I do.
- A lot of good it did you!
44
00:07:10,778 --> 00:07:13,178
Harris, what's wacky?
45
00:07:14,378 --> 00:07:17,658
- What's wacky?
- What's wacky about your last forecast?
46
00:07:17,739 --> 00:07:20,138
- To me it was pretty wacky.
- No, not wacky.
47
00:07:20,219 --> 00:07:23,820
- Not wacky?
- Yes. That's we bought with you, yes.
48
00:07:23,899 --> 00:07:25,557
You're doing some
kind of intellectual stuff.
49
00:07:25,580 --> 00:07:27,539
Intellectual stuff? Maybe
intellectual for you...
50
00:07:27,620 --> 00:07:29,757
because you were educated
with a banana and an inner tube.
51
00:07:29,780 --> 00:07:31,557
Are you kidding? This is
an intellectual free zone!
52
00:07:31,580 --> 00:07:34,501
- More wacky, less egghead.
- More wacky, less egghead...
53
00:07:34,581 --> 00:07:36,541
Thanks, thanks. Let
me make a note of that.
54
00:07:36,621 --> 00:07:38,941
"More wacky, less egghead."
What was your name again?
55
00:07:43,262 --> 00:07:45,822
- We're late, aren't we?
- It's only one o'clock.
56
00:07:45,902 --> 00:07:49,023
That's what time we're supposed to
be there. You know, it's my mistake.
57
00:07:49,102 --> 00:07:52,463
If I say lunch is at one, then
I figure if I get here at 12:40...
58
00:07:52,543 --> 00:07:54,543
we'll get there in plenty
of time. Which is fine.
59
00:07:54,623 --> 00:07:58,583
But what I don't count on is the
20 minutes of abstract busyness...
60
00:07:58,663 --> 00:08:02,184
- that goes on after I get here.
- I'm doing 30-minute lips.
61
00:08:02,264 --> 00:08:04,664
Besides, they can wait.
It's not gonna kill them.
62
00:08:04,744 --> 00:08:06,985
What I can't figure out
is that you look ready.
63
00:08:07,064 --> 00:08:09,265
You look so ready
that I get ready...
64
00:08:09,345 --> 00:08:11,865
and I get up, I stand by the
door, and I get out my keys.
65
00:08:11,945 --> 00:08:15,305
Then, after I stand there about 10 minutes,
I realize you weren't ready at all.
66
00:08:15,386 --> 00:08:18,586
So I sit back down. Then I get
another feeling that you're ready...
67
00:08:18,666 --> 00:08:20,666
and I getup and I
straighten my clothes.
68
00:08:20,746 --> 00:08:24,066
Then I realize you just gave
off an illusion of being ready...
69
00:08:24,147 --> 00:08:27,147
that I interpreted as
not being an illusion.
70
00:08:27,827 --> 00:08:28,786
I'll be in the car.
71
00:08:34,588 --> 00:08:38,788
Sitting there at that moment, I thought
of something else Shakespeare said.
72
00:08:38,868 --> 00:08:42,028
He said, "Hey, life
is pretty stupid..."
73
00:08:42,109 --> 00:08:45,949
With lots of hubbub to keep you
busy but really not amounting to much.
74
00:08:46,029 --> 00:08:47,990
Of course, I'm paraphrasing.
75
00:08:48,069 --> 00:08:53,630
"Life is a tale told by an idiot, full of
sound and fury, signifying nothing."
76
00:09:12,673 --> 00:09:13,913
You look nice.
77
00:09:13,992 --> 00:09:15,713
- Do you like this one better?
- Uh, yeah.
78
00:09:15,793 --> 00:09:18,113
- I can change.
- No, that's all right.
79
00:09:19,873 --> 00:09:22,193
Tell me again who
we're having lunch with?
80
00:09:22,274 --> 00:09:26,835
Friends and friends of friends,
and some of my gift-service clients.
81
00:09:27,594 --> 00:09:29,835
- Frank will be there.
- Frank? I just saw Frank.
82
00:09:29,914 --> 00:09:32,435
He wanted me to be in a parade.
83
00:09:32,515 --> 00:09:34,612
I mean, if it weren't impossible
for me to fire people...
84
00:09:34,635 --> 00:09:37,516
I'd get somebody else,
somebody like Harry Zell.
85
00:09:38,356 --> 00:09:41,476
It's 1:20 now. 20 minutes
past the hour of 1:00.
86
00:09:41,556 --> 00:09:45,836
If you sense something in the air
today, it's not the smog, Los Angeles.
87
00:09:45,917 --> 00:09:48,637
It's the first day of
spring, the spring equinox.
88
00:09:48,717 --> 00:09:50,374
- Which of course means...
- What did he say?
89
00:09:50,397 --> 00:09:53,718
- He said, it's the first day of spring.
- Oh, shit.
90
00:09:54,558 --> 00:09:56,838
Open season on the L.A. Freeway!
91
00:09:56,918 --> 00:09:59,278
Where is it? Look in
the glove compartment!
92
00:10:00,918 --> 00:10:02,038
- Here it is!
- Is it loaded?
93
00:10:02,118 --> 00:10:04,919
- Just two bullets in it.
- Load it! Load it! Hurry! Hurry!
94
00:10:04,998 --> 00:10:08,199
- Get over! What's the matter...?
- These are old ones. Do bullets go bad?
95
00:10:08,279 --> 00:10:10,919
No, it's not like milk! They
don't have an expiration date!
96
00:10:11,000 --> 00:10:11,959
- Hurry!
- Here!
97
00:10:11,999 --> 00:10:14,360
- Don't point it at me!
- Sorry, I don't know gun etiquette!
98
00:10:14,440 --> 00:10:16,240
You son of a bitch!
99
00:10:23,201 --> 00:10:25,002
Better not ruin our brunch!
100
00:10:26,401 --> 00:10:27,882
- Reload!
- Okay, all right!
101
00:10:27,962 --> 00:10:29,082
- Be careful with it!
- Sorry!
102
00:10:29,162 --> 00:10:31,442
- Don't point it!
- You little cooker!
103
00:10:33,122 --> 00:10:36,402
- My hair!
- Did I leave my blue pants at your apartment?
104
00:10:36,483 --> 00:10:38,803
Yeah. I took them
to the cleaners.
105
00:10:44,083 --> 00:10:46,164
I'm not gonna kiss anyone
hello anymore. I hate that.
106
00:10:46,244 --> 00:10:48,393
- Just shake hands with them.
- I just washed my hands...
107
00:10:48,444 --> 00:10:50,925
and some guy feels like he's
been squashing caterpillars.
108
00:10:51,004 --> 00:10:53,325
Cowls, party of ten.
109
00:10:53,404 --> 00:10:56,765
Uh, yes. You're the
first ones to arrive.
110
00:10:58,365 --> 00:11:00,206
Right this way, please.
111
00:11:05,126 --> 00:11:06,085
Hi!
112
00:11:07,527 --> 00:11:09,086
Hi!
113
00:11:09,606 --> 00:11:10,807
- Harris!
- How you doing?
114
00:11:10,887 --> 00:11:12,727
- Fine...!
- No, you don't.
115
00:11:16,968 --> 00:11:19,607
I hurt my back playing tennis.
116
00:11:19,688 --> 00:11:21,608
Oh, hit
117
00:11:22,768 --> 00:11:25,808
I think it was. We
saw it together.
118
00:11:25,889 --> 00:11:30,089
So, I see the film, and I'm
gonna give it an 8 or a 7.
119
00:11:30,169 --> 00:11:33,369
As I'm leaving the parking lot, I
realize that Thurlon, the producer...
120
00:11:33,450 --> 00:11:36,609
got this incredibly good
space right by the exit...
121
00:11:36,690 --> 00:11:39,050
and they put me
far away in the back.
122
00:11:39,130 --> 00:11:42,051
So I go on the air
that night, I give it a 3.
123
00:11:42,130 --> 00:11:43,011
Good for you.
124
00:11:43,090 --> 00:11:46,051
Sheila has been studying
the art of conversation.
125
00:11:46,131 --> 00:11:49,931
- Oh, you're taking a course in conversation?
- Yes.
126
00:11:55,772 --> 00:11:58,852
One of the first things I always teach
my clients is about the point system.
127
00:11:58,933 --> 00:12:00,710
You should never have
more than seven things on.
128
00:12:00,733 --> 00:12:04,493
Your earrings count for 2 points.
Those daisies count for 3 points.
129
00:12:04,574 --> 00:12:07,093
The best thing to do is,
right before you go out...
130
00:12:07,174 --> 00:12:09,494
look in the mirror
and turn around fast.
131
00:12:09,574 --> 00:12:12,734
The first thing that catches
your eye, get rid of it.
132
00:12:12,815 --> 00:12:14,975
I mean. I had this thing
in my hair before I left...
133
00:12:15,054 --> 00:12:18,175
and I pulled it right out. 'Cause
as soon as I turned, gone!
134
00:12:18,255 --> 00:12:19,255
Marilyn Monroe did that.
135
00:12:19,335 --> 00:12:21,176
Whatever you do, don't
ever get dumped in LA.
136
00:12:21,255 --> 00:12:23,792
It's not like New York where you can
meet someone walking down the street.
137
00:12:23,815 --> 00:12:26,096
I know, in L.A., you have
to hit someone with your car.
138
00:12:26,176 --> 00:12:29,296
I know girls who
speed just to meet cops.
139
00:12:29,377 --> 00:12:32,697
We met on a hit
in West Hollywood.
140
00:12:39,658 --> 00:12:43,858
Loud talkers in restaurants.
That's it. I despise them all...
141
00:12:43,938 --> 00:12:46,898
- and I want them to die.
- There's Sara. Sara's here.
142
00:12:52,779 --> 00:12:55,300
I don't understand why we
don't shoot them like dogs.
143
00:12:55,379 --> 00:12:57,860
Bullet in the head.
That's personal.
144
00:12:57,940 --> 00:12:59,740
- Because they're people.
- They are not.
145
00:12:59,820 --> 00:13:01,700
- Oh, please...
- Hello.
146
00:13:01,781 --> 00:13:03,261
- Hello.
- I thought you were lost.
147
00:13:03,340 --> 00:13:04,820
- I was lost.
- Come in.
148
00:13:04,901 --> 00:13:06,661
Let me sit you down.
149
00:13:06,740 --> 00:13:08,741
Let me introduce you.
This is Sara McDowell.
150
00:13:08,821 --> 00:13:11,021
- Harris, Trudy.
- Hello, hello.
151
00:13:11,102 --> 00:13:12,182
- Frank Swan.
- Hello.
152
00:13:12,261 --> 00:13:13,262
- Shawn.
- Hello.
153
00:13:13,341 --> 00:13:14,599
- How do you do?
- This is Cynthia.
154
00:13:14,622 --> 00:13:17,102
- Sara just got off a plane from London.
- You must be exhausted.
155
00:13:17,182 --> 00:13:20,222
I'm shattered, but it's nothing some
sleep and a good fuck wouldn't cure...
156
00:13:20,302 --> 00:13:22,903
as my sister used to say.
157
00:13:26,623 --> 00:13:28,384
You have to forgive Sara.
158
00:13:28,463 --> 00:13:30,863
I'm sorry. It was just
a figure of speech.
159
00:13:30,944 --> 00:13:33,944
I've been on a plane for 12
hours, next to a crying baby.
160
00:13:34,024 --> 00:13:35,704
That's bad.
161
00:13:36,944 --> 00:13:38,905
- So what do you give the flight?
- What?
162
00:13:38,984 --> 00:13:43,186
- On a scale of 1 to 10?
- Oh, an 8.
163
00:13:43,265 --> 00:13:45,666
What would you like to eat?
164
00:13:46,505 --> 00:13:50,826
- What kind of food do they have?
- California cuisine.
165
00:13:50,906 --> 00:13:55,587
And these goddamn wrong number
dialers! What the hell do we do about them?
166
00:13:55,667 --> 00:13:56,786
Sara, what do you do?
167
00:13:56,867 --> 00:13:59,908
I'm here writing an article about
Los Angeles for the London Times.
168
00:13:59,987 --> 00:14:02,348
Well, you've come
to the right place.
169
00:14:05,268 --> 00:14:07,908
- What do you do, for a living, Rolly?
- I deal in English paintings.
170
00:14:07,988 --> 00:14:12,109
- Abstract or realistic?
- It depends on which way you look at them.
171
00:14:17,190 --> 00:14:18,430
What's this?
172
00:14:19,630 --> 00:14:22,350
It's an earthquake.
How strong is it, Harris?
173
00:14:23,710 --> 00:14:25,870
I give it a 4.
174
00:14:33,311 --> 00:14:36,072
So when an executive
needs a gift for someone...
175
00:14:36,151 --> 00:14:39,713
I get to go shopping, and I pick
out something that's appropriate.
176
00:14:39,792 --> 00:14:41,272
In fact, I gifted, right?
177
00:14:41,353 --> 00:14:44,033
Sherman, Lee, and Rosenquist's
entire office last Christmas!
178
00:14:44,112 --> 00:14:46,273
Sherman, Lee... I think I
received something from them.
179
00:14:46,353 --> 00:14:48,313
- A stun gun.
- That was me!
180
00:14:48,393 --> 00:14:51,033
- You did the stun gun!
- Yes. Monogrammed!
181
00:14:51,113 --> 00:14:53,234
- Oh, great.
- Did you get it monogrammed?
182
00:14:53,313 --> 00:14:55,314
'Cause that was me.
Somebody else was doing that.
183
00:14:55,394 --> 00:14:58,755
- You know, she oughta interview Harry Zell.
- Who's Harry Zell?
184
00:14:58,834 --> 00:15:01,954
Harry Zell is the most powerful
show business agent in town.
185
00:15:02,035 --> 00:15:04,635
Beyond powerful. He's the fixer.
186
00:15:04,715 --> 00:15:07,155
- Well, he's supposed to be nice.
- He'd be a great client.
187
00:15:07,236 --> 00:15:10,995
He'd never stab you in the
back unless it was in self-defense.
188
00:15:11,076 --> 00:15:12,716
- He's right. He's right.
- Napkin?
189
00:15:12,796 --> 00:15:15,997
- There was a Zell on the police force.
- I think it's Harry, also, isn't it?
190
00:15:16,076 --> 00:15:18,396
I keep thinking I'm a
grownup, but I'm not.
191
00:15:23,917 --> 00:15:26,517
- It'll have a decaf coffee.
- I'll have a decaf espresso.
192
00:15:26,598 --> 00:15:30,158
- I'll have a double decaf cappuccino.
- Do you have decaffeinated coffee ice cream?
193
00:15:30,238 --> 00:15:33,999
I'll have a half double decaffeinated
half caf with a twist of lemon.
194
00:15:34,079 --> 00:15:36,216
- I'll have a twist of lemon.
- I'll have a twist of lemon.
195
00:15:36,239 --> 00:15:38,809
- I'll have a twist of lemon, please.
- It'll have a twist of lemon.
196
00:15:39,679 --> 00:15:41,960
I would love to do
a makeover on you.
197
00:15:42,040 --> 00:15:43,560
I hope your nose turns out.
198
00:15:43,639 --> 00:15:47,721
As far as I'm concerned, there are
only three mystical places in the world:
199
00:15:47,800 --> 00:15:50,721
The desert just outside
Santa Fe, New Mexico...
200
00:15:50,800 --> 00:15:54,041
the tree of life in the
Arab emirate of Bahrain...
201
00:15:54,121 --> 00:15:57,081
and the restaurant at the
corner of Sunset and Crescent...
202
00:15:57,162 --> 00:16:01,122
because that's where I first met her,
and that's where I first touched her.
203
00:16:06,562 --> 00:16:08,643
Isn't that girl Sara awful?
204
00:16:08,723 --> 00:16:12,323
- I mean, what's with that accent?
- She has an accent because she's English.
205
00:16:12,404 --> 00:16:14,484
Or maybe she's just
trying to impress everybody.
206
00:16:14,564 --> 00:16:17,364
Oh, like that big phony
Winston Churchill.
207
00:16:18,644 --> 00:16:21,124
- About what you said in there...
- What?
208
00:16:21,205 --> 00:16:24,485
- About getting some sleep and having a bonk.
- Oh, dear.
209
00:16:24,565 --> 00:16:28,085
Listen, if I say that sort of thing
again, tie me up and gag me.
210
00:16:28,165 --> 00:16:31,326
We tried that once,
but you started laughing.
211
00:16:31,405 --> 00:16:34,046
Leave off, Roland.
There's a dear.
212
00:16:34,646 --> 00:16:37,166
You've come all this
way. I'm so grateful to you.
213
00:16:37,247 --> 00:16:40,807
- We really should give it another try.
- I'm completely happy the way things are.
214
00:16:40,887 --> 00:16:45,167
- I'm finally getting my life sorted out.
- I'm so passionate about you.
215
00:16:45,247 --> 00:16:48,608
Damn all convention. Let me
take you for a hot dog on Sunday.
216
00:16:48,688 --> 00:16:53,208
- Your ticket, please.
- It's the cream thingy there.
217
00:16:54,328 --> 00:16:56,569
It's late. I've got to go.
218
00:17:01,129 --> 00:17:01,810
Bye!
219
00:17:01,889 --> 00:17:04,849
And she kept her hat
on all through brunch.
220
00:17:04,930 --> 00:17:06,489
I'm sure she has bad hair.
221
00:17:06,570 --> 00:17:09,250
I don't think you understand
how unattractive hate is.
222
00:17:09,331 --> 00:17:10,851
Excuse me! Hello!
223
00:17:12,650 --> 00:17:14,411
- Thank you.
- Can I ask you a question?
224
00:17:14,491 --> 00:17:17,451
- Sure.
- Do people here get up early or late?
225
00:17:17,531 --> 00:17:20,132
It depends. Why?
226
00:17:20,211 --> 00:17:24,932
If a person were to be making a lot
of noise, what time can they start?
227
00:17:25,012 --> 00:17:27,332
What kind of noise?
Like construction?
228
00:17:27,413 --> 00:17:30,373
No, like deep, sustained
booming sounds.
229
00:17:30,453 --> 00:17:33,853
Deep, sustained booming
sounds. Around 9, 9:15.
230
00:17:33,933 --> 00:17:37,174
- Great! Thanks! Bye!
- Bye!
231
00:17:52,055 --> 00:17:53,856
She's used to
driving on the left.
232
00:17:53,935 --> 00:17:54,976
Hey!
233
00:17:56,016 --> 00:17:57,416
Oh, God...
234
00:18:05,577 --> 00:18:08,257
I'm sorry! I was... I was
just concentrating on...
235
00:18:08,337 --> 00:18:11,018
Yeah, I know what you
were concentrating on.
236
00:18:51,783 --> 00:18:53,663
- Do you like those?
- Yes...
237
00:18:53,742 --> 00:18:55,784
- Oh, sorry. What?
- Your pants.
238
00:18:55,863 --> 00:18:57,303
Do you want me to
mark them for you?
239
00:18:57,383 --> 00:19:00,743
Oh, I don't know... Are these the
same price as these other ones?
240
00:19:00,824 --> 00:19:02,904
Nope. These are
a little bit more.
241
00:19:02,984 --> 00:19:05,105
How do I look in these?
242
00:19:11,385 --> 00:19:13,705
You look fabulous in these.
243
00:19:15,226 --> 00:19:17,586
- Okay. Mark them.
- Okay.
244
00:19:19,866 --> 00:19:22,146
You have to stand up
straight, or they won't be right.
245
00:19:22,227 --> 00:19:23,186
Right.
246
00:19:23,226 --> 00:19:24,787
Do you like a break in them?
247
00:19:24,867 --> 00:19:26,747
A little.
248
00:19:27,747 --> 00:19:30,468
- About like that?
- That's fine.
249
00:19:35,548 --> 00:19:36,507
That's fine.
250
00:19:38,989 --> 00:19:40,309
Okay.
251
00:19:40,828 --> 00:19:42,708
When can I pick these up?
252
00:19:42,789 --> 00:19:46,269
Just about anytime you
want. Is Wednesday all right?
253
00:19:46,349 --> 00:19:48,150
Yeah, fine.
254
00:19:50,750 --> 00:19:53,510
- I'll just slip out of these.
- Okay.
255
00:20:11,512 --> 00:20:14,793
There are two events in my
life that I consider to be magical...
256
00:20:14,873 --> 00:20:17,233
that couldn't be
explained scientifically.
257
00:20:19,233 --> 00:20:22,194
The first of them
was about to happen.
258
00:21:01,358 --> 00:21:02,558
Hi.
259
00:21:04,759 --> 00:21:05,718
"Ruok"?
260
00:21:06,879 --> 00:21:09,839
"Don't make me waste letters."
261
00:21:09,920 --> 00:21:12,159
- Are you okay?”
262
00:21:12,240 --> 00:21:15,520
Oh, "Are you
okay"? Yeah, I'm fine.
263
00:21:17,441 --> 00:21:18,400
What?
264
00:21:22,280 --> 00:21:23,321
Who are you?
265
00:21:25,121 --> 00:21:26,642
I can see that.
266
00:21:30,602 --> 00:21:34,562
I'm being filmed. I
know I am being filmed.
267
00:21:38,083 --> 00:21:39,923
All right.
268
00:21:50,164 --> 00:21:52,484
Is this a joke or something?
269
00:21:52,565 --> 00:21:55,925
I see people in
trouble, and I stop them.
270
00:21:57,005 --> 00:21:59,325
L.A. wants to help you.
271
00:22:00,205 --> 00:22:01,805
How am I in trouble?
272
00:22:08,126 --> 00:22:10,087
So what do I do?
273
00:22:10,607 --> 00:22:15,247
You will know what to
do when you unscramble...
274
00:22:16,247 --> 00:22:18,328
"How daddy is doing?"
275
00:22:18,407 --> 00:22:19,367
What?
276
00:22:20,048 --> 00:22:22,288
Oh, do it again!
277
00:22:23,048 --> 00:22:28,049
"You will know what to
do when you unscramble...
278
00:22:28,689 --> 00:22:30,809
'How daddy is doing'".
279
00:22:30,889 --> 00:22:34,010
Well, I'll work on it.
280
00:22:35,090 --> 00:22:36,489
Bye. Bye.
281
00:22:39,970 --> 00:22:41,931
The sign spoke to me.
282
00:22:42,530 --> 00:22:43,811
Said I was in trouble.
283
00:22:43,890 --> 00:22:47,251
If you're talking to
signs, you are in trouble.
284
00:23:03,093 --> 00:23:06,494
- So I'll see you Sunday?
- I got a shower Sunday.
285
00:23:06,573 --> 00:23:09,654
Oh, yeah, and I really
should take a bath. Monday?
286
00:23:09,734 --> 00:23:14,175
- Pick me up at 8:30.
- 8:30? Doesn't anyone eat at 6 anymore?
287
00:23:14,934 --> 00:23:16,495
Bye.
288
00:23:20,255 --> 00:23:23,776
Quiet! Quiet!
Quiet! It's me! Quiet!
289
00:23:26,616 --> 00:23:28,536
Will you be quiet?
290
00:23:30,897 --> 00:23:32,897
Good night, doggy.
291
00:23:33,897 --> 00:23:36,257
Who's "daddy"? Who's "daddy"?
292
00:25:06,708 --> 00:25:09,949
An entire block in North Hollywood
had to be evacuated today...
293
00:25:10,028 --> 00:25:11,829
because of a
shower of tennis balls.
294
00:25:11,908 --> 00:25:15,109
It seems the cargo door of a low-flying
aircraft bearing the tennis balls...
295
00:25:15,189 --> 00:25:16,790
Ready.
296
00:25:16,869 --> 00:25:19,189
- Mom.
- Say name again.
297
00:25:19,270 --> 00:25:21,430
- Mom.
- Say name again.
298
00:25:21,510 --> 00:25:25,390
And what a surprise this weekend when
the weather turned unseasonably low.
299
00:25:25,470 --> 00:25:28,951
Here's Harris Telemacher, our
wacky weatherman, with the report.
300
00:25:29,030 --> 00:25:33,831
And when the weather dropped
down to 58 degrees this weekend...
301
00:25:33,911 --> 00:25:37,472
- how did you cope?
- I just made sure the windows were shut.
302
00:25:37,551 --> 00:25:40,832
What about your pets? Were
they outside? What happened?
303
00:25:40,912 --> 00:25:42,912
The cats were
out till around 10...
304
00:25:42,993 --> 00:25:45,089
but it got a little too cold
for 'em, and they came in.
305
00:25:45,112 --> 00:25:47,113
The cats were out
until around 10...
306
00:25:47,193 --> 00:25:50,954
but it got a little too cold
for them, and they came in.
307
00:25:51,033 --> 00:25:55,034
Well, that's how L.A. coped with
that surprise low of 58 degrees...
308
00:25:55,114 --> 00:25:58,355
that turned the weekend into a
real weenie shrinker. Thank you.
309
00:25:59,875 --> 00:26:01,875
And now, the toupee report.
310
00:26:01,954 --> 00:26:03,275
Winds 5 to 10 miles an hour...
311
00:26:03,355 --> 00:26:06,675
gusting to 15 miles an
hour in the late afternoon.
312
00:26:06,755 --> 00:26:09,756
So I would either stay
indoors or wear a hat.
313
00:26:09,836 --> 00:26:14,557
This is Harris K. Telemacher
with the wiggy weekend weather!
314
00:26:23,557 --> 00:26:26,637
Hello. This is Harris. I'm in right
now, so you can talk to me personally.
315
00:26:26,718 --> 00:26:29,239
Please start talking at
the sound of the beep.
316
00:26:31,918 --> 00:26:33,118
- Hello?
- Hello.
317
00:26:33,839 --> 00:26:34,919
- Hello.
- Hello.
318
00:26:36,279 --> 00:26:38,280
- Is this a person?
- Yes, it ls a person.
319
00:26:38,359 --> 00:26:40,639
- Harris Telemacher?
- Yes.
320
00:26:41,280 --> 00:26:43,919
This is Sara McDowell. I
don't know if you remember me.
321
00:26:44,000 --> 00:26:47,560
- We met at lunch.
- Oh, yeah. You're the reporter.
322
00:26:47,640 --> 00:26:50,800
Journalist. Yes, and
you're the weatherman.
323
00:26:50,881 --> 00:26:53,561
- Meteorologist, yeah.
- I hope you don't mind me calling.
324
00:26:53,641 --> 00:26:55,401
I just got your number
from Trudy Cowls.
325
00:26:55,481 --> 00:26:58,761
I was watching you on TV. I'd
love to interview you for my piece.
326
00:26:58,842 --> 00:27:02,362
- Oh, English, French, or Italian?
- You speak all those languages?
327
00:27:02,442 --> 00:27:06,042
No. If it were Italian or
French, I'd be out of it.
328
00:27:09,003 --> 00:27:09,723
Bugger!
329
00:27:09,803 --> 00:27:10,762
Ready.
330
00:27:12,164 --> 00:27:13,843
Dial Mom.
331
00:27:15,564 --> 00:27:17,364
Domino's Pizza. This is Julian.
332
00:27:17,444 --> 00:27:19,884
- Our specials for today...
- Sorry... Sorry...
333
00:27:41,087 --> 00:27:43,807
Want some trail
mix? Fruit? Cookies?
334
00:27:43,887 --> 00:27:46,767
Ariel, how do you stay thin with
all this food you have around here?
335
00:27:46,848 --> 00:27:49,968
I don't know, I guess women
burn fat faster than men do.
336
00:27:50,048 --> 00:27:52,769
That's a disgusting
notion. That's my friend...
337
00:27:52,848 --> 00:27:55,528
Smart, pretty, and
quite a little fat burner.
338
00:27:55,609 --> 00:27:58,929
- You're just jealous.
- No, no. I could never be a woman.
339
00:27:59,009 --> 00:28:01,609
I'd stay home and play
with my breasts all day.
340
00:28:01,689 --> 00:28:02,729
Where's June?
341
00:28:02,809 --> 00:28:06,450
In her room, recovering
from the aftereffects of alcohol.
342
00:28:06,530 --> 00:28:08,530
- Want some juice?
- Sure.
343
00:28:08,610 --> 00:28:11,850
You can be my taster. It's
a new mixture for the shop.
344
00:28:13,971 --> 00:28:16,051
Hello? This is Ariel.
345
00:28:16,691 --> 00:28:18,611
Hey, kiddo. What's up?
346
00:28:19,612 --> 00:28:21,572
Sounds like a job for Supergirl.
347
00:28:21,652 --> 00:28:24,332
It's exactly like
licking a shag carpet.
348
00:28:24,412 --> 00:28:27,293
Okay. I'll bring your stuff
down in about an hour. Bye.
349
00:28:28,332 --> 00:28:30,110
It's great being the boss.
Can we take your car...
350
00:28:30,133 --> 00:28:32,413
- So I can leave mine for June??
- Sure.
351
00:28:34,574 --> 00:28:38,173
Boy, are you gonna have a
rough day. There's coffee in there.
352
00:28:38,254 --> 00:28:42,135
- Hey, Harris. God, was I stupid.
- Have some juice.
353
00:28:42,214 --> 00:28:44,615
I'll make you some eggs.
Can you hold on a sec, Harris?
354
00:28:44,695 --> 00:28:49,335
- Sure. The museum doesn't close till 5:00.
- I never learn.
355
00:29:12,337 --> 00:29:13,297
Go!
356
00:29:39,021 --> 00:29:41,341
This is my way of keeping busy.
357
00:29:41,421 --> 00:29:45,661
I call it performance art, but my
friend Ariel calls it wasting time.
358
00:29:45,742 --> 00:29:47,622
History will decide.
359
00:30:00,824 --> 00:30:02,704
- Hello.
- Hello.
360
00:30:02,784 --> 00:30:04,624
- You're on time.
- Actually, I'm late.
361
00:30:04,705 --> 00:30:08,064
- You're exactly on time.
- But I had planned to be early.
362
00:30:09,465 --> 00:30:11,465
Hey, stop. Don't. Stop.
363
00:30:11,545 --> 00:30:14,105
Let me pose, at least.
364
00:30:14,905 --> 00:30:18,066
Listen, I had this idea.
Rather than do an interview...
365
00:30:18,146 --> 00:30:19,506
Hang on.
366
00:30:19,586 --> 00:30:22,244
Rather than do an interview with me,
which would be fascinating, by the way...
367
00:30:22,267 --> 00:30:25,507
because of the interesting
word usements I structure...
368
00:30:25,586 --> 00:30:27,581
I thought I'd show you
around town a little bit...
369
00:30:27,626 --> 00:30:31,467
A few kind of secret
places, a cultural tour of L.A.
370
00:30:31,548 --> 00:30:33,827
There's the first 15
minutes, then what?
371
00:30:34,748 --> 00:30:37,028
- All right, a cynic.
- First stop is six blocks from here.
372
00:30:37,108 --> 00:30:39,669
- Why don't we walk?
- Walk?
373
00:30:40,589 --> 00:30:42,109
A walk in L.A.!
374
00:30:46,029 --> 00:30:50,429
Architecture. Some of these
buildings are over 20 years old.
375
00:30:50,510 --> 00:30:52,470
This house is Greek revival.
376
00:30:52,550 --> 00:30:55,270
They revive the Greek
every morning who lives in it.
377
00:30:55,350 --> 00:30:59,471
Here's a Tudor mansion
and a four-door mansion.
378
00:30:59,551 --> 00:31:04,551
You're really nobody in L.A. unless
you have a house with a really big door.
379
00:31:04,632 --> 00:31:06,912
I'll take you over to the
Museum of Musicology.
380
00:31:08,712 --> 00:31:10,392
Verdi's baton.
381
00:31:12,713 --> 00:31:14,353
Mozart's quill.
382
00:31:18,073 --> 00:31:19,953
Beethoven's balls.
383
00:31:24,874 --> 00:31:29,155
Come on. I'll take you over to the graveyard.
Lots of famous people are buried here.
384
00:31:29,234 --> 00:31:34,675
Rocky Marciano, Benny Goodman,
and, of course, William Shakespeare.
385
00:31:34,755 --> 00:31:38,155
I think he wrote "Hamlet,
Part 8: The Revenge" here.
386
00:31:48,117 --> 00:31:49,597
Hello.
387
00:31:49,957 --> 00:31:50,916
Hello.
388
00:31:52,597 --> 00:31:54,877
- Oh, hello.
- Whose grave is this?
389
00:31:54,958 --> 00:31:55,837
Mine.
390
00:31:55,918 --> 00:31:57,877
No, I think he means, who's
going to be buried here?
391
00:31:57,958 --> 00:32:00,199
- What's his name?
- Not a he, Miss.
392
00:32:00,278 --> 00:32:02,598
- All right, she.
- Not a woman, either.
393
00:32:04,319 --> 00:32:07,119
Used to be a woman.
Now she's dead.
394
00:32:07,199 --> 00:32:09,319
Finally, a funny gravedigger.
395
00:32:09,399 --> 00:32:11,087
Want to know how long
it takes a body to rot?
396
00:32:11,160 --> 00:32:12,439
Boy, do we.
397
00:32:12,520 --> 00:32:16,400
If they're not rotten before
they die, eight or nine years.
398
00:32:16,480 --> 00:32:19,361
Some of them Beverly Hills women,
they'll last you 12 years, they will.
399
00:32:19,440 --> 00:32:21,961
- How come?
- Their skin is so tan.
400
00:32:22,041 --> 00:32:24,961
It's all stretched and
polished up like a bloody shoe.
401
00:32:25,041 --> 00:32:26,281
That'll keep the water out.
402
00:32:26,362 --> 00:32:29,321
And water's the thing that'll ruin
a perfectly good dead body, it will.
403
00:32:29,402 --> 00:32:31,722
Also, they got them
extra parts, you know.
404
00:32:31,802 --> 00:32:34,603
Some of that stuff,
it's not biodegradable.
405
00:32:34,682 --> 00:32:38,683
Oh, now, here's a bloke that's
been around for 35 years, I bet.
406
00:32:38,762 --> 00:32:41,963
- Who was he?
- That's a magician. The Great Blunderman.
407
00:32:42,043 --> 00:32:44,523
Not so great now, is he?
408
00:32:46,204 --> 00:32:47,204
Great Blunderman.
409
00:32:48,684 --> 00:32:50,284
I knew him.
410
00:32:50,844 --> 00:32:53,885
He was a funny guy.
Taught me magic.
411
00:32:55,925 --> 00:32:58,285
A fellow of infinite jest?
412
00:32:58,365 --> 00:32:59,525
- Yeah.
- That's it.
413
00:32:59,605 --> 00:33:02,246
"He hath borne me on
his back a thousand times."
414
00:33:02,326 --> 00:33:04,766
She knows. She's got it!
415
00:33:04,846 --> 00:33:06,486
"Where be your gibes now...
416
00:33:07,247 --> 00:33:10,887
your flashes of merriment that
would set the table on a roar?"
417
00:33:14,567 --> 00:33:16,665
Ordinarily, I don't like being
around interesting people...
418
00:33:16,688 --> 00:33:19,008
because it means I
have to be interesting, too.
419
00:33:19,087 --> 00:33:20,928
Are you saying I'm interesting?
420
00:33:21,008 --> 00:33:25,288
All I'm saying is that when I'm
around you, I find myself showing off...
421
00:33:25,369 --> 00:33:28,609
Which is the idiot's
version of being interesting.
422
00:33:30,329 --> 00:33:32,090
Are you seeing anyone now?
423
00:33:33,610 --> 00:33:34,569
Yeah.
424
00:33:35,689 --> 00:33:39,050
Me, too, so that's sort of out.
425
00:33:39,130 --> 00:33:41,131
Can I have your
friend's head back, then?
426
00:33:41,210 --> 00:33:42,931
Sure. Sorry.
427
00:33:45,731 --> 00:33:48,091
- I should get to work.
- Me, too.
428
00:33:49,291 --> 00:33:50,852
- Bye.
- Bye.
429
00:33:50,931 --> 00:33:52,971
Cheers. Come back!
430
00:33:53,052 --> 00:33:55,892
They all do. Don't they?
431
00:33:55,972 --> 00:33:59,253
Hey, hey, hey! What a weekend!
We've got sun, earth, and atmosphere!
432
00:33:59,333 --> 00:34:01,173
When you've got that,
you've got weather!
433
00:34:01,253 --> 00:34:05,414
Good weather! Sun!
Sun! Sun! Sun! Sun! Sun!
434
00:34:05,493 --> 00:34:06,894
Yes, it's going to... Wow!
435
00:34:06,973 --> 00:34:09,454
It's got my watch!
Turn off the magnet!
436
00:34:10,574 --> 00:34:12,374
I've got it! I've got it!
437
00:34:12,454 --> 00:34:13,413
Geez...
438
00:34:14,295 --> 00:34:17,855
Okay. We got...
Turn off the magnet!
439
00:34:17,935 --> 00:34:19,535
And now, the financial report.
440
00:34:19,615 --> 00:34:23,376
89 Mercedes, up 400
dollars at $28,640 dollars.
441
00:34:23,455 --> 00:34:27,976
Used '88 Mercedes,
unchanged at 26,100 dollars.
442
00:34:28,856 --> 00:34:31,057
And... cut.
443
00:34:32,096 --> 00:34:34,017
Okay, let's run it back,
see what we've got.
444
00:34:34,097 --> 00:34:35,554
You'll run that for me
on Saturday, Jesse?
445
00:34:35,577 --> 00:34:37,938
Harry, should you really be
pretaping the weather report?
446
00:34:38,017 --> 00:34:39,634
The weekends are very
tough for me to come in.
447
00:34:39,658 --> 00:34:41,937
You can imagine my
busy weekend schedule.
448
00:34:42,018 --> 00:34:45,538
Besides, this is L.A.
What's going to change?
449
00:34:58,939 --> 00:35:03,421
There are two reasons for the
ridiculous detour I was about to embark on.
450
00:35:03,500 --> 00:35:06,101
So I'll see you
tomorrow! Thanks!
451
00:35:08,421 --> 00:35:10,582
- Are you closed?
- Yeah, sorry.
452
00:35:11,821 --> 00:35:15,782
The first reason was, I believed a
relationship with Sara was impossible.
453
00:35:15,862 --> 00:35:17,262
Wow.
454
00:35:18,502 --> 00:35:22,983
And the second reason
was, I was a big, dumb male.
455
00:35:24,463 --> 00:35:26,863
- I came to pick up some pants.
- Yeah?
456
00:35:26,943 --> 00:35:29,504
You sold me a pair of
pants and a tie thing.
457
00:35:29,584 --> 00:35:32,544
Yeah, I remember. You
just wanna pick 'em up?
458
00:35:32,624 --> 00:35:34,624
- Yeah.
- I can get 'em for you.
459
00:35:34,705 --> 00:35:36,984
That'd be great.
Save me coming back.
460
00:35:37,064 --> 00:35:40,345
- Would it be so bad if you had to come back?
- I don't have my ticket.
461
00:35:40,425 --> 00:35:41,705
That's okay.
462
00:35:41,785 --> 00:35:43,642
- I remember what they look like.
- I'll be right back.
463
00:35:43,665 --> 00:35:45,865
- Thanks.
- Oh, God, I'm getting all wet!
464
00:35:45,946 --> 00:35:47,826
I'll be right back.
465
00:35:56,587 --> 00:35:58,735
They're not ready yet. Want
us to call you when they are?
466
00:35:58,787 --> 00:36:00,987
- Yeah, that would be great.
- What's the number?
467
00:36:01,067 --> 00:36:03,308
Oh, I'll write it.
468
00:36:06,268 --> 00:36:09,789
- Do you have any paper?
- Um, no. No.
469
00:36:09,868 --> 00:36:11,189
Here.
470
00:36:18,190 --> 00:36:20,630
- Okay.
- It'll have them call you when they're ready.
471
00:36:20,710 --> 00:36:22,430
- Probably just be tomorrow.
- Okay.
472
00:36:22,510 --> 00:36:23,469
- Okay.
- All right.
473
00:36:59,755 --> 00:37:01,434
Expecting a call?
474
00:37:09,915 --> 00:37:12,316
- Were you shocked?
- Shocked, but glad.
475
00:37:12,396 --> 00:37:16,396
I could tell you that you wanted to ask me
for my number, so I just asked for yours.
476
00:37:16,477 --> 00:37:19,237
But I didn't know I wanted
your number until it was too late.
477
00:37:19,317 --> 00:37:22,597
I went to this psychic once. I
don't really believe in that stuff...
478
00:37:22,677 --> 00:37:27,197
but he told me I have this
special fifth sense about things.
479
00:37:27,278 --> 00:37:28,918
I mean about guys
wanting your number...
480
00:37:28,998 --> 00:37:31,238
I figure that any guy
would want your number.
481
00:37:31,318 --> 00:37:32,919
Oh, that's sweet!
482
00:37:32,998 --> 00:37:34,999
Hey, Wacky Weather
Guy. How you doing?
483
00:37:35,079 --> 00:37:36,679
Hi.
484
00:37:36,759 --> 00:37:38,719
God, I can't help but
be nervous out here.
485
00:37:38,799 --> 00:37:41,840
- Why? You're not doing anything wrong.
- I mean...
486
00:37:41,919 --> 00:37:44,400
- You must have a boyfriend.
- Oh, he doesn't care.
487
00:37:44,479 --> 00:37:46,200
I mean, he can't care.
488
00:37:46,280 --> 00:37:49,801
He gave me this big speech about
how even though we live together still...
489
00:37:49,880 --> 00:37:52,321
he thinks that we should
be able to see other people...
490
00:37:52,401 --> 00:37:54,762
So I said, "That's okay."
491
00:37:54,841 --> 00:37:56,881
But it backfires on him
every once in a while.
492
00:37:56,961 --> 00:38:00,922
- Where is he now?
- He's over there at the bar.
493
00:38:01,002 --> 00:38:04,083
- What?
- Don't worry about it. his is his idea.
494
00:38:04,162 --> 00:38:07,723
- Are you kidding? Stop it! Come on...
- This is him! Right here!
495
00:38:09,843 --> 00:38:11,203
Hi.
496
00:38:11,764 --> 00:38:14,604
- Do you want my phone number?
- No. I don't want your number.
497
00:38:14,683 --> 00:38:17,324
That'd be a disaster. If I had
your number, I might call you.
498
00:38:17,403 --> 00:38:20,244
It's 555-2312. Say it back.
499
00:38:20,324 --> 00:38:23,245
- No, stop. I don't want to know it.
- 555-2312.
500
00:38:23,324 --> 00:38:24,941
- Stop. You're gonna make me memorize it.
- Say it back.
501
00:38:24,964 --> 00:38:27,125
- No!
- 555...
502
00:38:27,205 --> 00:38:30,565
- 2312.
- Geez, now I know it.
503
00:38:30,646 --> 00:38:33,206
- 555...
- 2312.
504
00:38:35,366 --> 00:38:37,286
- What was your name again?
- Sandee.
505
00:38:37,366 --> 00:38:40,046
I'm sorry. Sandee.
Sandee. It's a nice name.
506
00:38:40,127 --> 00:38:43,607
Everybody has such weird names
now. It's like Tiffany with a p-h-i...
507
00:38:43,687 --> 00:38:46,168
and instead of
Nancy, it's Nancine.
508
00:38:46,247 --> 00:38:49,928
- It's "S-a-n-D-e-E".
- What?
509
00:38:50,008 --> 00:38:52,648
S-a-n-D-e-E.
510
00:38:55,168 --> 00:38:56,449
Big "S"...
511
00:38:56,528 --> 00:38:58,008
small "a"...
512
00:38:58,089 --> 00:39:00,089
small "n", big "D"...
513
00:39:00,169 --> 00:39:04,290
small "e", big "E". And
there's a little star at the end.
514
00:39:31,693 --> 00:39:34,454
When I got out of class,
I decided to call you.
515
00:39:34,533 --> 00:39:37,773
- What class are you taking?
- I'm studying to be a spokesmodel.
516
00:39:37,854 --> 00:39:39,894
What is a spokesmodel?
517
00:39:39,973 --> 00:39:42,774
Just a model who speaks.
She points at things...
518
00:39:42,854 --> 00:39:46,174
like merchandise, like a
car, or washer and dryer...
519
00:39:46,255 --> 00:39:50,455
Sometimes it's really small,
like a book or fine art prints.
520
00:39:50,535 --> 00:39:53,536
- They have classes for that?
- Yeah, cause it's a lot harder than it looks.
521
00:39:53,616 --> 00:39:55,976
- Hi, my name is Bob. I'll be your robber.
- Hi, how are you.
522
00:39:56,056 --> 00:39:57,913
- Thank you very much.
- How long are the classes?
523
00:39:57,936 --> 00:40:00,856
- About three hours.
- What made you want to be a spokesmodel?
524
00:40:00,937 --> 00:40:03,377
I always liked pointing.
525
00:40:04,656 --> 00:40:08,017
- Why won't you sleep with me?
- People don't sleep with their ex-husbands.
526
00:40:08,097 --> 00:40:10,417
It happens all the
time. Who know...
527
00:40:10,498 --> 00:40:13,338
- it might be just like it was.
- Roland, that would be terrible.
528
00:40:13,418 --> 00:40:15,858
Oh, come on, Sara.
We're a perfect match.
529
00:40:15,938 --> 00:40:19,058
Just because my mother hunts with your
mother doesn't make us a perfect match.
530
00:40:19,139 --> 00:40:20,939
That's not what I'm
saying, for God's sakes.
531
00:40:21,019 --> 00:40:23,156
- Your mother shot my mother.
- That's so unfair. It was an accident.
532
00:40:23,179 --> 00:40:25,419
- With a 12-bore shotgun?
- It was only in the foot.
533
00:40:25,500 --> 00:40:29,100
You're the only normal one in the
family, and you're just barely hanging on.
534
00:40:29,180 --> 00:40:32,700
Remember when your mother found out whose
dog kept crapping in front of the house...
535
00:40:32,780 --> 00:40:35,741
and put their name on a little flag
and stuck it in the center of the pile?
536
00:40:35,820 --> 00:40:37,821
These are not
things grownups do.
537
00:40:37,901 --> 00:40:42,182
- I'm the only sane thing in your life.
- Yes, possibly.
538
00:40:42,261 --> 00:40:43,501
I want you back.
539
00:40:43,582 --> 00:40:47,022
I'll cook for you. I'll sew for you.
Just give me one weekend with you.
540
00:40:47,102 --> 00:40:49,662
We'll go away and see how it is.
541
00:40:50,463 --> 00:40:52,022
Will you come?
542
00:40:53,983 --> 00:40:58,664
I went roller-skating once,
at the Brooklyn Rollerdrome.
543
00:40:58,743 --> 00:41:00,903
It was awful. I was
completely out of control.
544
00:41:00,984 --> 00:41:03,264
I couldn't stop,
I couldn't turn.
545
00:41:03,344 --> 00:41:05,945
I went slamming into
this 8-foot-tall black guy...
546
00:41:06,024 --> 00:41:09,865
in an emerald green satin
jump suit with matching skates.
547
00:41:09,944 --> 00:41:11,945
I said, "I'm terribly sorry.
Could you help me?"
548
00:41:12,025 --> 00:41:16,145
He looked down at me with
deeply stoned eyes, and he said:
549
00:41:16,226 --> 00:41:20,306
"Little lady, let your mind
go, and your body will follow."
550
00:41:28,067 --> 00:41:30,427
Well, how was that?
551
00:41:30,508 --> 00:41:33,228
It was very nice. Thanks.
552
00:41:35,788 --> 00:41:38,708
Well, I hope I wasn't too
young in my thinking for you.
553
00:41:38,788 --> 00:41:40,828
- What?
- Joke.
554
00:41:42,309 --> 00:41:43,469
- Hi, Julie.
- Hey, SanDeE.
555
00:41:43,548 --> 00:41:46,789
- I don't put any pressure on you, do I?
- Not at all. I don't pressure you, do I?
556
00:41:46,869 --> 00:41:48,766
No. I just don't think there
should be any pressure.
557
00:41:48,789 --> 00:41:50,590
- Tell me if I pressure you.
- Okay. You, too.
558
00:41:50,670 --> 00:41:53,430
- But don't feel like you have to.
- Okay.
559
00:41:55,510 --> 00:41:57,590
Have you ever
had a high colonic?
560
00:41:57,671 --> 00:42:00,551
- Pardon me?
- A high colonic.
561
00:42:00,631 --> 00:42:02,991
- You mean an enema?
- Yeah.
562
00:42:03,952 --> 00:42:07,551
- I keep waiting for you to say, "Joke."
- They're great, they really purify you.
563
00:42:07,632 --> 00:42:10,232
There's this place in
Santa Monica that do it.
564
00:42:10,312 --> 00:42:12,112
Oh, they're great!
565
00:42:13,752 --> 00:42:16,513
- Is this where you live?
- Yeah. Here.
566
00:42:18,353 --> 00:42:20,434
It's really groovy.
567
00:42:22,553 --> 00:42:24,114
Well...
568
00:42:24,194 --> 00:42:26,594
- Good night.
- Good night.
569
00:42:35,516 --> 00:42:37,395
Bye. See you.
570
00:42:52,957 --> 00:42:55,678
- Hello?
- Take me off that goddamn speaker phone!
571
00:42:55,758 --> 00:42:57,398
Relax!
572
00:42:58,318 --> 00:43:01,078
- It's just a modern-day device.
- I have to see you.
573
00:43:01,159 --> 00:43:03,398
- You were with someone else last night?
- Yes.
574
00:43:03,479 --> 00:43:07,479
- There was no shower?
- There was. I didn't go at the last minute.
575
00:43:07,559 --> 00:43:11,479
Having sex with my agent again?
I have told you a thousand times...
576
00:43:11,560 --> 00:43:13,520
How did you know?
577
00:43:13,600 --> 00:43:17,400
I was right? I was right?
578
00:43:18,480 --> 00:43:23,721
I was making a bad
joke. My agent? Frank?
579
00:43:23,801 --> 00:43:26,481
And this is how I
find out? You tell me?
580
00:43:26,561 --> 00:43:30,482
He isn't happy about it either.
We just decided I should tell you.
581
00:43:30,562 --> 00:43:33,282
God, I thought he was
only supposed to take 10%.
582
00:43:33,362 --> 00:43:35,362
We were here. Then aftenwards...
583
00:43:35,443 --> 00:43:38,043
After he made love to you, what?
584
00:43:38,123 --> 00:43:42,123
- We went to the Hard Rock Cafe.
- What time?
585
00:43:42,203 --> 00:43:44,803
I don't know... 11:00, 11:30.
586
00:43:45,404 --> 00:43:48,884
I felt I had to tell you in
case anyone saw us there.
587
00:43:48,964 --> 00:43:53,405
- It was a dumb thing to do.
- How long has this been going on?
588
00:43:53,484 --> 00:43:55,644
- Three years.
- Three years?
589
00:43:55,725 --> 00:44:00,325
- I'm sorry!
- This has been going on since the '80s?
590
00:44:05,046 --> 00:44:08,767
I'm sorry. I just can't
be here right now.
591
00:44:21,768 --> 00:44:24,248
Yes, yes! L.A., I love you!
592
00:44:24,328 --> 00:44:26,768
I'm out of my relationship.
I'm out of the agency.
593
00:44:26,849 --> 00:44:30,369
I only had to look like
a sucker for three years!
594
00:44:30,449 --> 00:44:32,849
Now if I could only get
out of doing the weather.
595
00:44:34,850 --> 00:44:37,329
Will you stop just
predicting stuff?
596
00:44:37,410 --> 00:44:39,651
Have you always
been a freeway sign?
597
00:44:39,730 --> 00:44:43,250
I mean, did you start out as a stop sign,
and work your way up to a street light...
598
00:44:43,331 --> 00:44:45,451
then become a billboard?
599
00:44:45,531 --> 00:44:48,292
"I believe I was
reincarnated from a bagpipe."
600
00:44:49,811 --> 00:44:51,372
Oh, all right.
601
00:45:00,053 --> 00:45:02,493
If you get your voice back,
will you stop predicting?
602
00:45:03,693 --> 00:45:04,653
Yes.
603
00:45:05,854 --> 00:45:08,174
"The weather will
change your life."
604
00:45:08,254 --> 00:45:09,214
"Twice."
605
00:45:10,614 --> 00:45:13,775
Hey, so I pretaped the weather report,
and some weekend sailors lost some boats.
606
00:45:13,854 --> 00:45:15,815
Big deal. If they're rich
enough to have boats...
607
00:45:15,894 --> 00:45:17,582
they're rich enough
to lose them. Besides:
608
00:45:17,615 --> 00:45:21,175
What kind of an asshole sailor would
trust The Wacky Weatherman anyway?
609
00:45:21,255 --> 00:45:23,055
- This one.
- You lost your boat?
610
00:45:23,136 --> 00:45:25,296
Yes. You're fired.
611
00:45:25,376 --> 00:45:27,896
I never want to
see your face again.
612
00:45:30,257 --> 00:45:34,256
I said I never want to see
your face again. You're fired.
613
00:45:39,257 --> 00:45:42,418
"The weather will
change your life twice."
614
00:45:43,338 --> 00:45:44,858
That's once.
615
00:45:45,658 --> 00:45:48,018
Hey, Harris. Heard
you and Trudi broke up.
616
00:45:48,099 --> 00:45:50,779
I always figured your
relationship was a 2.
617
00:45:54,099 --> 00:45:56,619
If confusion about your
love life Is ruining your day...
618
00:45:56,700 --> 00:46:01,020
It's good to go to your best
friend's house and ruin her day, too.
619
00:46:02,660 --> 00:46:04,941
When I really analyze it,
Trudi wasn't for me anyway.
620
00:46:05,020 --> 00:46:08,541
The only good times we had were
having sex and laying in bed watching TV.
621
00:46:08,621 --> 00:46:10,638
- That's a good turn.
- I hate to tell you this, Harris...
622
00:46:10,661 --> 00:46:12,862
but if you can find somebody
you can have sex with...
623
00:46:12,941 --> 00:46:15,862
and lie in bed and watch TV,
you've really got something.
624
00:46:15,942 --> 00:46:18,382
What happened to my plant?
625
00:46:19,903 --> 00:46:21,823
Anybody else out
there on the horizon?
626
00:46:21,903 --> 00:46:24,943
There's someone I
like, but it's impossible.
627
00:46:25,023 --> 00:46:26,663
Does she like you?
628
00:46:27,984 --> 00:46:31,063
- I don't know.
- Why don't you call this SanDeE girl?
629
00:46:31,144 --> 00:46:33,544
At least you'd have
somebody to take places.
630
00:46:38,225 --> 00:46:40,224
Thanks a lot. It was great!
631
00:46:43,945 --> 00:46:46,866
So... what do you think?
632
00:46:46,945 --> 00:46:48,746
I think it was a total washout.
633
00:46:48,826 --> 00:46:51,906
God, It really
clears out your head!
634
00:46:51,986 --> 00:46:56,387
Head? Head? You should go back
and tell them they're doing it wrong.
635
00:46:56,467 --> 00:47:00,347
Well, it was a great
luncheon enema. Thanks.
636
00:47:01,068 --> 00:47:04,468
- So are you going to see me again?
- Yeah, sure, if you want to.
637
00:47:04,548 --> 00:47:07,789
- When?
- Um, Friday... Is Friday okay?
638
00:47:07,868 --> 00:47:09,669
- Yeah.
- Okay. Where do you want to go?
639
00:47:09,748 --> 00:47:13,589
There's this new restaurant, it's supposed
to be really great, it's on Sunset.
640
00:47:13,669 --> 00:47:16,229
- Um... L'Idiot?
- L'Idiot. I've heard of that. Sure.
641
00:47:16,309 --> 00:47:19,069
L'Idiot, you and me on Friday.
642
00:47:19,710 --> 00:47:23,750
Hello, L'Idiot? Yes, I'd like to
make reservations for two for Friday.
643
00:47:26,431 --> 00:47:27,911
Saturday?
644
00:47:29,871 --> 00:47:33,832
- Out of the question.
- Sunday? Ah, good. 8:30?
645
00:47:34,431 --> 00:47:36,351
530 or 10:30?
646
00:47:37,552 --> 00:47:39,672
- 5:30.
- How would you like to pay?
647
00:47:39,752 --> 00:47:41,872
- Visa.
- What do you do?
648
00:47:41,952 --> 00:47:44,192
- I'm a weatherman.
- Are you on TV?
649
00:47:44,273 --> 00:47:47,193
- Yes, I'm on TV!
- Are you renting, or do you own?
650
00:47:47,273 --> 00:47:50,353
Renting. I just sold a condo.
651
00:47:50,434 --> 00:47:53,274
- What? In this soft market?
- Yes, in this soft market!
652
00:47:53,353 --> 00:47:56,834
- What do you earn?
- I don't see how that's any busi...
653
00:47:57,835 --> 00:47:59,914
In the low 50s.
654
00:48:01,434 --> 00:48:03,955
Yeah, I could meet
you there at 3:00.
655
00:48:04,955 --> 00:48:06,955
I have Visa and I
have MasterCard.
656
00:48:07,036 --> 00:48:09,596
They all have Visa
and MasterCard.
657
00:48:09,675 --> 00:48:13,757
I think what Mr. Pardue is looking
for is more than a promise to pay.
658
00:48:13,836 --> 00:48:18,837
I think he's looking for a kind of
depth in your financial sea, so to speak.
659
00:48:18,917 --> 00:48:22,237
Let us make this easier.
660
00:48:22,317 --> 00:48:24,797
Suppose you get a reservation.
661
00:48:24,877 --> 00:48:28,838
And let us suppose you come down
to the restaurant, and we honor it.
662
00:48:30,278 --> 00:48:33,239
What do you think
you might order?
663
00:48:35,239 --> 00:48:36,279
Well...
664
00:48:37,639 --> 00:48:39,400
I might like to have the duck.
665
00:48:39,479 --> 00:48:41,919
- You can't have the duck.
- You can't have the duck.
666
00:48:42,000 --> 00:48:43,040
Why?
667
00:48:43,119 --> 00:48:47,361
You think with this financial statement
like this, you can have the duck?
668
00:48:48,800 --> 00:48:50,761
Where do you summer?
669
00:48:51,481 --> 00:48:55,921
- What do you mean?
- Where do you spend your summers?
670
00:48:58,162 --> 00:49:00,882
- Right here.
- He can have the chicken.
671
00:49:00,961 --> 00:49:02,202
You can have the chicken.
672
00:49:02,282 --> 00:49:04,483
What about my date? I
can't tell her what to order.
673
00:49:04,562 --> 00:49:08,443
You can certainly urge
her in one direction.
674
00:49:09,123 --> 00:49:12,283
Look, either we go there, and
she orders what she wants...
675
00:49:12,363 --> 00:49:14,283
or let's forget it.
676
00:49:21,004 --> 00:49:24,164
All right. I like
a little gamble.
677
00:49:24,245 --> 00:49:26,005
We can take you in...
678
00:49:27,686 --> 00:49:29,405
eight weeks.
679
00:49:30,365 --> 00:49:33,486
Hi, SanDeE, listen, I've heard
some bad things about L'Idiot.
680
00:49:33,566 --> 00:49:38,767
I went down there to check it out, and
the chef had a big open sore on his lip.
681
00:49:38,846 --> 00:49:42,807
Yeah, I know, I know
I did. I'm really sorry.
682
00:49:42,887 --> 00:49:47,848
What if we went away for the
weekend, like Santa Barbara?
683
00:49:47,928 --> 00:49:49,728
Totally beautiful!
684
00:49:49,808 --> 00:49:53,248
Roland thinks L.A. is a
place for the brain-dead.
685
00:49:53,329 --> 00:49:57,088
He says if you turned off the
sprinklers, it would turn into a desert.
686
00:49:57,169 --> 00:49:58,889
But I think...
687
00:49:59,409 --> 00:50:02,729
I don't know... It's
not what I expected.
688
00:50:02,809 --> 00:50:08,170
It's a place where they've taken a
desert and turned it into their dreams.
689
00:50:14,251 --> 00:50:17,491
I've seen a lot of L.A, and I
think it's also a place of secrets.
690
00:50:17,571 --> 00:50:21,172
Secret houses, secret
lives, secret pleasures.
691
00:50:21,252 --> 00:50:23,931
And no one is looking to
the outside for verification...
692
00:50:24,012 --> 00:50:26,533
that what they're
doing is all right.
693
00:50:29,813 --> 00:50:32,413
So what do you say, Roland?
694
00:50:32,493 --> 00:50:35,294
I still say it's a place
for the brain-dead.
695
00:50:35,373 --> 00:50:38,134
Why do you have to be so snotty?
696
00:50:38,213 --> 00:50:41,414
Really, I think you're
just being superior.
697
00:50:41,494 --> 00:50:45,415
I've met some pretty intelligent
people here in Los Angeles.
698
00:51:00,696 --> 00:51:03,417
- Good Lord!
- God! I'm sorry! Are you...?
699
00:51:04,457 --> 00:51:05,817
Hi.
700
00:51:07,057 --> 00:51:10,057
This is one of the people I
was telling you about, you know.
701
00:51:10,138 --> 00:51:13,098
Harris Telemacher, this is
Roland Macky. You met at lunch.
702
00:51:13,177 --> 00:51:15,298
- Have you tried the Guggenheim?
- I get that.
703
00:51:15,378 --> 00:51:18,219
Because it's circular
and goes downhill.
704
00:51:18,298 --> 00:51:20,058
I got it! Oh, hi!
705
00:51:20,139 --> 00:51:23,219
Oh, Ariel, this is Roland
Macky and Sara McDowell.
706
00:51:23,299 --> 00:51:24,499
- Hi.
- Hi.
707
00:51:24,579 --> 00:51:26,499
- Hi.
- I loved your wacky TV bit.
708
00:51:26,580 --> 00:51:27,739
Thanks. I loved yours, too.
709
00:51:27,820 --> 00:51:29,740
- But I didn't...
- I can explain.
710
00:51:29,820 --> 00:51:31,740
- I see.
- It's a thing that I do regularly.
711
00:51:31,821 --> 00:51:35,940
That's marvelously funny.
You have a lot of verve.
712
00:51:37,661 --> 00:51:38,621
Verve?
713
00:51:40,462 --> 00:51:42,902
Would you like to
walk around with us?
714
00:51:43,621 --> 00:51:45,141
I like the relationships.
715
00:51:45,222 --> 00:51:47,582
I mean, each character
has his own story.
716
00:51:47,662 --> 00:51:50,119
The puppy is a bit too much, but
you have to overlook things like that...
717
00:51:50,142 --> 00:51:52,343
in these kind of
paintings. But...
718
00:51:52,863 --> 00:51:57,464
the way he's holding
her... It's almost... filthy.
719
00:51:57,543 --> 00:52:02,984
I mean, he's about to kiss
her, and she's pulling away...
720
00:52:03,064 --> 00:52:06,704
The way his leg is sort of
smashed up against her.
721
00:52:07,664 --> 00:52:10,545
Look how he's painted the
blouse sort of translucent.
722
00:52:10,625 --> 00:52:13,145
You can just make out
her breasts underneath.
723
00:52:13,226 --> 00:52:16,265
It's sort of touching
him about here...
724
00:52:16,346 --> 00:52:19,986
It's really... pretty
torrid, don't you think?
725
00:52:20,066 --> 00:52:23,546
Then of course, you have the onlookers
peeking at them from behind the doorway...
726
00:52:23,627 --> 00:52:25,626
like they're all shocked.
727
00:52:25,707 --> 00:52:27,386
They wish.
728
00:52:28,307 --> 00:52:33,187
I must admit, when I see a
painting like this, I get emotionally...
729
00:52:33,268 --> 00:52:34,468
erect.
730
00:52:46,189 --> 00:52:47,429
Well, that was terrific.
731
00:52:47,510 --> 00:52:49,189
All those paintings of
food made me hungry.
732
00:52:49,270 --> 00:52:52,150
I could eat some
paintings of food myself.
733
00:52:53,190 --> 00:52:56,311
- Well, it was fun.
- Yes, lovely to meet you.
734
00:52:56,390 --> 00:52:57,728
- Great running into you.
- Good-bye.
735
00:52:57,751 --> 00:52:59,551
- Bye.
- Bye.
736
00:53:01,191 --> 00:53:04,632
- What were you doing in there?
- That's the girl I was telling you about.
737
00:53:04,711 --> 00:53:09,912
- Well, you've really blown it now, pal.
- Why don't we all go somewhere for dinner?
738
00:53:09,992 --> 00:53:12,489
I've heard of this happening, where
you meet someone coincidentally...
739
00:53:12,512 --> 00:53:15,913
and end up going out to dinner with
them, but it never happened to me.
740
00:53:15,993 --> 00:53:17,793
- This guy loves me.
- Everybody does, Harris.
741
00:53:17,873 --> 00:53:20,314
- We'll stop by L'Idiot.
- I've heard about that place.
742
00:53:20,393 --> 00:53:23,394
I should warn you, we'll never
get in L'Idiot, it's impossible.
743
00:53:23,473 --> 00:53:26,834
- There's a phone. Back in a jiff.
- Suit yourself.
744
00:53:26,914 --> 00:53:29,915
I gotta meet June. I can't go with you.
Do you think they could take you home?
745
00:53:29,995 --> 00:53:32,875
- I don't want to impose.
- It's no problem. We've got two cars.
746
00:53:32,954 --> 00:53:35,355
Ariel, excuse me,
are you coming?
747
00:53:35,435 --> 00:53:37,795
- No, I can't.
- Dinner for three.
748
00:53:37,875 --> 00:53:39,756
It's all set. How
should we do this?
749
00:53:39,835 --> 00:53:43,196
Why doesn't he come with
me, since you know where it is?
750
00:53:43,276 --> 00:53:46,477
Yeah. I know where it is, and
she doesn't. That would be perfect.
751
00:53:46,556 --> 00:53:49,237
So I could tell her where it
was, because if I went with you...
752
00:53:49,317 --> 00:53:51,774
there would be two people in one car
who knew where it was and one who didn't...
753
00:53:51,797 --> 00:53:53,335
and we'd end up drawing
a map or something.
754
00:53:53,358 --> 00:53:55,477
Unless, I drove your car,
and then you went with her.
755
00:53:55,558 --> 00:53:58,198
- Is Roland your boyfriend?
- No. Just friends.
756
00:53:58,278 --> 00:54:03,479
That's good. I mean, it's fine.
It's fine that I can drive with you.
757
00:54:06,399 --> 00:54:08,439
Right side! Get
on the right side!
758
00:54:11,919 --> 00:54:15,040
- Stop!
- I don't think he can hear you.
759
00:54:41,043 --> 00:54:44,884
- Your usual table, Mr. Christopher?
- No. I'd like a good one this time.
760
00:54:44,963 --> 00:54:47,684
I'm sorry. That is impossible.
761
00:54:47,764 --> 00:54:52,684
- Part of the "New Cruelty"?
- I'm afraid so. Table 253.
762
00:54:52,764 --> 00:54:55,325
- The "New cruelty"...
- Yes, what do you want?
763
00:54:55,405 --> 00:54:58,885
- You like to hear our specials?
- I'm going to tell you what we got to eat
764
00:54:58,965 --> 00:55:01,246
We've got primavera pasta,
six different kinds of meat
765
00:55:01,325 --> 00:55:03,167
We've got side cuts, end
cuts, covered with a goo
766
00:55:03,246 --> 00:55:05,726
Called hollandaise, bearnaise,
and we can broil them, too
767
00:55:07,206 --> 00:55:09,967
Gee, I'm done already,
and I don't remember eating.
768
00:55:10,486 --> 00:55:12,727
We got crab cakes, zucchini
flakes, artichokes, and more
769
00:55:12,807 --> 00:55:15,087
Santa Barbara oysters
on a bed of grilled radicchio
770
00:55:15,167 --> 00:55:16,848
Spicy guacamole
and a brie quesadilla
771
00:55:16,927 --> 00:55:19,127
We got goat cheese
pizza on a blue corn tortilla
772
00:55:19,208 --> 00:55:21,648
- Floss?
- I'll have floss.
773
00:55:21,728 --> 00:55:23,568
- Diet or regular?
- Regular.
774
00:55:23,648 --> 00:55:26,169
We got hot bread, milk-fed
veal and new potatoes
775
00:55:26,248 --> 00:55:28,265
And a hundred different ways
to cook a couple of tomatoes
776
00:55:28,288 --> 00:55:30,689
If the service is a problem
cause the place is packed
777
00:55:30,769 --> 00:55:33,649
Ask for me, I'm Sham,
your waiter, and I also act
778
00:55:33,730 --> 00:55:36,410
Oh, forget them!
They're nobodies!
779
00:55:38,730 --> 00:55:41,650
- I'll take you home. I love close to you.
- What?
780
00:55:41,730 --> 00:55:44,890
- I live close to you. I'll take you home.
- The cars are here.
781
00:55:44,971 --> 00:55:47,451
I'll take him home.
He lives close to me.
782
00:55:47,531 --> 00:55:50,052
- Are you sure?
- Oh, yeah. No problem.
783
00:55:50,131 --> 00:55:53,251
All right, that's perfect,
since I live in the Valley.
784
00:55:54,732 --> 00:55:57,412
Maybe I should take a cab.
Drive over was a bit risky.
785
00:55:57,493 --> 00:55:59,933
Don't be so silly. Get in.
786
00:56:01,333 --> 00:56:04,693
Sara, promise you'll
see me this weekend.
787
00:56:05,893 --> 00:56:07,933
I will. I promise.
788
00:56:09,374 --> 00:56:11,214
- See you at the weekend.
- Bye!
789
00:56:11,294 --> 00:56:12,575
Bye!
790
00:56:16,135 --> 00:56:17,775
Right side! Right side!
791
00:56:32,977 --> 00:56:35,017
- It was fun.
- Yes, it was.
792
00:56:37,017 --> 00:56:40,018
- I like Roland a lot.
- Yes, he's nice, isn't he?
793
00:56:40,098 --> 00:56:44,618
Yeah, yeah. I think it's interesting that
you can have a relationship with a man...
794
00:56:44,698 --> 00:56:48,499
you know, that's
friendly more than sexual.
795
00:56:51,739 --> 00:56:54,260
So... good night.
796
00:56:55,699 --> 00:56:56,860
Good night.
797
00:57:07,901 --> 00:57:09,861
- The car's rolling.
- The car!
798
00:57:09,941 --> 00:57:11,581
- It's locked!
- It's locked here, too.
799
00:57:11,662 --> 00:57:13,078
Your side is locked?
Where are the keys?
800
00:57:13,101 --> 00:57:15,821
- They're in the car, of course!
- What're they doing in the car?
801
00:57:15,902 --> 00:57:17,862
- They're in the ignition...!
- How'd it get looked?
802
00:57:17,942 --> 00:57:20,502
- I didn't lock the car!
- Of course you locked it!
803
00:57:20,583 --> 00:57:22,822
- We'll stop it from rolling!
- Stop it? Are we on a hill?
804
00:57:22,903 --> 00:57:25,743
Yes, but it slopes
the other way. Pull!
805
00:57:25,823 --> 00:57:28,424
- No, I got it!
- I got it. I got it.
806
00:57:28,503 --> 00:57:30,144
This will get it!
807
00:57:32,584 --> 00:57:34,224
Oh, my God...
808
00:57:36,944 --> 00:57:38,504
Oh, my God...
809
00:57:40,104 --> 00:57:42,785
- I think I know what this is.
- My God.
810
00:57:42,865 --> 00:57:44,425
Get in.
811
00:57:44,505 --> 00:57:45,464
- What?
- Get in.
812
00:57:45,505 --> 00:57:48,065
- Certainly I'm not!
- No, it's all right. You can trust me.
813
00:57:48,146 --> 00:57:51,426
- I'm not getting in!
- No, no. I didn't threaten!
814
00:57:51,506 --> 00:57:52,947
Here!
815
00:57:53,026 --> 00:57:56,467
It's all right.
Stay in, stay in!
816
00:57:56,547 --> 00:57:58,147
All right. Just...
817
00:57:59,267 --> 00:58:01,667
I think we're fine.
Don't claw me!
818
00:58:01,748 --> 00:58:04,348
You get over here!
Let me not drive!
819
00:58:04,428 --> 00:58:06,308
What makes you think you
can drive better than me?
820
00:58:06,388 --> 00:58:08,108
I've been driving for years!
821
00:58:19,349 --> 00:58:21,590
This is the sign I
was telling you about.
822
00:58:21,669 --> 00:58:23,750
- What is it?
- Harris.
823
00:58:23,830 --> 00:58:26,831
I think I figured out the moving
car. You know what it could be?
824
00:58:26,910 --> 00:58:29,151
I read an article in
the Times on induction.
825
00:58:29,230 --> 00:58:33,231
My brothers found out you can generate
electrical currents in rabbits if you...
826
00:58:40,713 --> 00:58:45,513
pass a strong magnetic field along
their body, so what it could be...
827
00:59:00,035 --> 00:59:01,994
My head hurts.
828
00:59:03,995 --> 00:59:06,195
I think I should go.
829
00:59:17,796 --> 00:59:19,637
Do you want to come in?
830
00:59:20,917 --> 00:59:22,317
Why?
831
00:59:22,877 --> 00:59:26,718
Yeah. Sorry. I'm
moving too fast.
832
00:59:29,038 --> 00:59:31,599
But we should see each
other again, don't you think?
833
00:59:31,678 --> 00:59:32,959
Yes!
834
00:59:33,479 --> 00:59:35,759
I suppose. Yeah.
835
00:59:36,439 --> 00:59:40,880
- Uh, well... what's today?
- Thursday.
836
00:59:42,280 --> 00:59:43,959
The weekend?
837
00:59:46,240 --> 00:59:49,681
I should tell you I'm supposed
to see my ex this weekend.
838
00:59:49,760 --> 00:59:53,041
I'm sorry. I
promised. It's a deal.
839
00:59:53,121 --> 00:59:57,601
Yeah. Oh, God! I've got a few
things to untangle myself this weekend.
840
00:59:58,361 --> 01:00:02,442
My mother throws this bridge
luncheon, and I really should be there.
841
01:00:03,762 --> 01:00:07,442
I'm supposed to go to this
fund-raising dinner tomorrow.
842
01:00:07,523 --> 01:00:12,243
It's formal, you know, but I thought
maybe to take a hog like you would be...
843
01:00:12,843 --> 01:00:14,003
fantastic.
844
01:00:14,084 --> 01:00:17,444
Not a date. Just a do.
You interested in that?
845
01:00:17,524 --> 01:00:19,004
All right.
846
01:00:19,084 --> 01:00:20,484
- All right?
- Yeah, all right.
847
01:00:20,565 --> 01:00:22,924
Great. So I'll take that as yes.
848
01:00:23,005 --> 01:00:24,605
- Okay.
- Great.
849
01:00:25,045 --> 01:00:26,845
- Bye.
- Bye.
850
01:00:27,845 --> 01:00:31,725
I think it's wonderful you see your
mother. It reminds me, I should call mine.
851
01:00:31,806 --> 01:00:36,246
Yeah. You've got your ex, and
I've got that whole bridge thing.
852
01:00:47,327 --> 01:00:49,168
- Hello?
- Hello, Mum.
853
01:00:49,247 --> 01:00:51,368
Hello, darling. How are you?
854
01:00:51,448 --> 01:00:56,449
- I'm fine. Are you busy?
- Yes. I'm making 56 papier-mache hats.
855
01:00:56,528 --> 01:01:01,329
- Do you feel like playing something?
- Always, darling. The usual?
856
01:01:41,374 --> 01:01:44,134
- Night-night, Mum.
- Night-night, darling.
857
01:02:37,781 --> 01:02:38,981
- Hi.
- Hi.
858
01:02:39,061 --> 01:02:41,702
- You play the tuba.
- No.
859
01:02:41,781 --> 01:02:43,702
I used to. I do, but not know.
860
01:02:43,781 --> 01:02:47,502
I mean, I was before
you arrived. I did.
861
01:02:48,062 --> 01:02:50,262
I've forgotten
something. Just a minute.
862
01:02:53,863 --> 01:02:55,303
Ready!
863
01:02:56,183 --> 01:02:58,304
- Are you all right?
- Oh, yeah. I'm fine.
864
01:02:58,383 --> 01:03:01,623
I'm just going out too much. I
shouldn't be going out tonight.
865
01:03:01,704 --> 01:03:03,601
Do you know how the feeling
is when you go out too much.
866
01:03:03,624 --> 01:03:06,544
- You feel like you never stay home.
- Are you upset about last night?
867
01:03:06,624 --> 01:03:08,624
No, not at all. I
think I understand it.
868
01:03:08,705 --> 01:03:11,985
My car started moving, and 10 minutes
later, your tongue was in my mouth.
869
01:03:12,065 --> 01:03:13,602
That wasn't my tongue.
That was a lozenge.
870
01:03:13,625 --> 01:03:16,626
My mouth shouldn't be accepting
other people's lozenges right now.
871
01:03:18,706 --> 01:03:21,026
You're a passionate person.
You just keep denying it.
872
01:03:21,106 --> 01:03:24,266
You're covering up. Why
don't you relax and give in to it?
873
01:03:24,347 --> 01:03:26,747
- Well, you don't.
- What?
874
01:03:26,827 --> 01:03:29,147
I can hardly contain
myself when I'm around you.
875
01:03:29,227 --> 01:03:31,707
I'm practically tap-dancing
every time I see you.
876
01:03:31,787 --> 01:03:33,187
Well, yes, that's the trouble.
877
01:03:33,268 --> 01:03:36,788
You're roller-skating, you're
amusing yourself, your friends, and me.
878
01:03:36,868 --> 01:03:39,549
- It's just a lot of noise, isn't it?
- What do you mean?
879
01:03:39,628 --> 01:03:43,189
We all have ways of preventing
ourselves from getting hurt.
880
01:03:43,269 --> 01:03:46,149
- That's just yours.
- Are you saying we should forget it?
881
01:03:46,229 --> 01:03:49,270
- If that's what you want, fine.
- Fine.
882
01:03:49,349 --> 01:03:52,430
- Full service or self service, Harris?
- Full service, Tony.
883
01:03:53,550 --> 01:03:56,431
Full service!
884
01:04:09,312 --> 01:04:13,953
And I knew it was
a great project.
885
01:04:14,032 --> 01:04:21,233
If the city were willing to partially
finance my private museum...
886
01:04:21,313 --> 01:04:27,234
it would be a great
bonus for the people.
887
01:04:27,315 --> 01:04:30,155
And so, I met with Ron.
888
01:04:32,195 --> 01:04:33,515
Ron...
889
01:04:34,315 --> 01:04:36,395
I toast you.
890
01:04:36,475 --> 01:04:38,315
Are you all right?
891
01:04:38,396 --> 01:04:40,795
I just feel a little dizzy.
892
01:04:40,876 --> 01:04:41,996
What's the matter?
893
01:04:42,076 --> 01:04:45,236
I should get some air.
I just feel nauseous.
894
01:04:46,716 --> 01:04:48,357
I'll take him outside.
895
01:04:50,997 --> 01:04:53,997
And Ron felt like I did.
896
01:04:55,317 --> 01:04:58,358
- What's the matter?
- I don't know.
897
01:04:58,438 --> 01:05:02,438
Something in my stomach, or my
head, or my heart, or something.
898
01:05:02,518 --> 01:05:04,518
Is there anything I can do?
899
01:05:07,359 --> 01:05:11,160
Oh, no. I can't. This is
how Mummy met Daddy.
900
01:05:11,239 --> 01:05:14,360
Let your mind go, and
your body will follow.
901
01:05:31,802 --> 01:05:37,483
And now, let us all move
forward with great enthusiasm...
902
01:05:37,562 --> 01:05:42,204
to build the greatest
private museum in the world.
903
01:05:48,484 --> 01:05:51,764
- Are you feeling any better?
- Much better, thank you.
904
01:05:51,844 --> 01:05:53,484
Yes, thanks.
905
01:06:02,606 --> 01:06:06,286
We didn't know what to say to each
other, so we wandered down Melrose...
906
01:06:06,366 --> 01:06:08,886
and had the kind of
small-talk conversation...
907
01:06:08,966 --> 01:06:11,207
necessary to cover over
what had just happened.
908
01:06:11,287 --> 01:06:14,287
The station wants me back.
They want to try serious news...
909
01:06:14,367 --> 01:06:16,328
- Oh, yeah?
- With me as the anchor.
910
01:06:16,407 --> 01:06:19,448
No laughing or chit-chat about
it. I'm kinda nervous about it.
911
01:06:19,527 --> 01:06:23,408
So there I was, jabbering at her about
my new job as a serious newsman...
912
01:06:23,489 --> 01:06:25,568
about anything at all...
913
01:06:25,649 --> 01:06:31,409
but all I could think was wonderful,
wonderful, wonderful, wonderful, wonderful...
914
01:06:31,489 --> 01:06:35,490
and most wonderful,
and yet again, wonderful.
915
01:07:53,539 --> 01:07:54,980
Hey!
916
01:07:55,780 --> 01:07:58,900
Who wrote the
Tonight Show theme?
917
01:07:58,979 --> 01:08:01,220
- Uh, Paul Anka.
- Yes!
918
01:08:01,300 --> 01:08:04,180
- Oh, God.
- Where are we staying when we get there?
919
01:08:04,860 --> 01:08:07,101
I just... Don't
bounce for a second.
920
01:08:07,181 --> 01:08:10,661
I just came to tell you this.
I can't go away with you.
921
01:08:10,742 --> 01:08:12,981
I just can't.
922
01:08:13,622 --> 01:08:16,022
- Shit.
- I've been seeing someone.
923
01:08:16,102 --> 01:08:17,906
And we got something
going, I don't know what...
924
01:08:17,942 --> 01:08:20,474
but it just really wouldn't be
right for me to go away with you.
925
01:08:20,502 --> 01:08:22,422
I'm really sorry.
926
01:08:24,263 --> 01:08:26,823
Well. So, you're seeing
her this weekend?
927
01:08:26,903 --> 01:08:29,784
No. She's got this obligation
to her ex-husband...
928
01:08:29,863 --> 01:08:32,344
to see if they can get
it back together again.
929
01:08:32,424 --> 01:08:36,665
- What? She's seeing someone else?
- Yes! She's going away with him! Yes!
930
01:08:36,744 --> 01:08:39,785
God...! Share how
that makes you feel.
931
01:08:39,864 --> 01:08:43,745
Share? Share how it makes me
feel? I hate it! It drives me crazy!
932
01:08:43,825 --> 01:08:47,145
I mean, how can she go away with him?
Especially since I've been working out!
933
01:08:47,226 --> 01:08:49,746
Look at this, the
effort I put into it!
934
01:08:49,826 --> 01:08:51,866
But it is fair. I
mean, it is fair...
935
01:08:51,946 --> 01:08:54,706
because she had this
obligation before we even met.
936
01:08:54,786 --> 01:08:57,867
But you had this obligation
before you fell for her.
937
01:08:57,946 --> 01:09:00,067
Why should you
suffer all weekend?
938
01:09:00,147 --> 01:09:02,828
- No. Just no.
- So go away with me.
939
01:09:02,907 --> 01:09:05,148
I can't, don't you see?
I'd just be using you...
940
01:09:05,227 --> 01:09:06,925
to get even with her
for going away with him.
941
01:09:06,948 --> 01:09:08,868
- I don't mind.
- Let's go.
942
01:09:08,948 --> 01:09:10,308
Great!
943
01:09:10,988 --> 01:09:13,988
All right. We should be in
Santa Barbara in 1> hours.
944
01:09:14,069 --> 01:09:16,149
I booked us into
the El Polio del Mar.
945
01:09:16,229 --> 01:09:18,126
- It's supposed to be really nice.
- Oh, my God! It's so beautiful there.
946
01:09:18,149 --> 01:09:20,110
- Wave to Jack. Bye!
- Bye!
947
01:09:20,189 --> 01:09:22,390
Oh, my God, there's
a million stars there!
948
01:09:22,470 --> 01:09:24,310
And the beach... I want
to spin on the beach.
949
01:09:24,390 --> 01:09:26,207
They have a special beach
up there just for spinning.
950
01:09:26,230 --> 01:09:28,950
And SanDeE, I think it
should just be a vacation.
951
01:09:29,031 --> 01:09:31,311
Just friends. I don't think
we should make love.
952
01:09:31,391 --> 01:09:33,551
Okay. We'll just have sex.
953
01:09:34,511 --> 01:09:35,912
Okay...
954
01:09:36,872 --> 01:09:40,632
What was Sam
Spade's partner's name?
955
01:09:40,712 --> 01:09:41,912
- Archer.
- Yes!
956
01:09:43,072 --> 01:09:45,913
I thought we might bump into
people we know at the San Isidro.
957
01:09:45,993 --> 01:09:48,954
So I booked us into
the El Polio del Mar.
958
01:09:50,073 --> 01:09:52,114
I'm so looking forward to this.
959
01:09:55,234 --> 01:09:56,714
Me, too.
960
01:10:00,794 --> 01:10:04,715
Okay. Who knew
Groucho's secret word?
961
01:10:05,915 --> 01:10:08,915
Groucho's secret word.
Oh, God... I give up.
962
01:10:09,636 --> 01:10:12,076
- The duck?
- The duck! The duck knew!
963
01:10:12,156 --> 01:10:13,796
"Say the secret word
and divide $100."
964
01:10:13,876 --> 01:10:16,917
So when the Wittgenstein House
was built in Austria one could say...
965
01:10:16,996 --> 01:10:19,677
that philosophy of language
had definitely hit the Bauhaus.
966
01:10:19,757 --> 01:10:22,037
- Don't you think?
- I saw the house a couple of years ago.
967
01:10:22,117 --> 01:10:25,317
Okay. Who played the Beav?
968
01:10:25,398 --> 01:10:27,198
- Jerry Mathers.
- Yes!
969
01:10:27,278 --> 01:10:31,838
"O wind, if winter comes,
can spring be far behind?"
970
01:10:31,918 --> 01:10:33,158
Beautiful.
971
01:10:34,359 --> 01:10:37,719
Who was Howdy
Doody's closest friend?
972
01:10:37,799 --> 01:10:39,439
Buffalo Bob.
973
01:10:39,519 --> 01:10:41,200
Yes! Good!
974
01:11:04,762 --> 01:11:06,482
This is great! Do
they have a pool here?
975
01:11:06,563 --> 01:11:08,563
Yes, they do have a
pool. You have a pool?
976
01:11:08,643 --> 01:11:10,323
There is a pool right there.
977
01:11:11,323 --> 01:11:13,444
I love this place!
978
01:11:57,969 --> 01:12:01,689
Oh, my God! Isn't this
breeze the greatest?
979
01:12:02,849 --> 01:12:04,809
It really feels great.
980
01:12:04,889 --> 01:12:07,170
Oh, I love hotel sheets!
981
01:12:07,250 --> 01:12:09,570
They feel so good
against your bare skin.
982
01:12:09,650 --> 01:12:11,370
I'll put your bag in here.
983
01:12:12,131 --> 01:12:13,731
Come here first.
984
01:12:21,692 --> 01:12:23,092
Thanks.
985
01:12:24,052 --> 01:12:25,572
Come here again.
986
01:12:37,813 --> 01:12:40,534
SanDeE, your breasts feel weird.
987
01:12:40,614 --> 01:12:42,134
Oh, that's because they're real.
988
01:12:46,454 --> 01:12:49,335
Let me get this
shoe off. Oh, my God!
989
01:12:49,975 --> 01:12:53,976
- All right now. I should warn you that...
- What?
990
01:12:54,056 --> 01:12:56,055
I'm old, and it might
take a little while.
991
01:12:56,136 --> 01:12:58,696
Oh, my God, I'm young again!
992
01:12:58,776 --> 01:13:00,096
I'm young again!
993
01:13:00,176 --> 01:13:04,457
- It's been great to see you again, Sara.
- It's been nice seeing you, too.
994
01:13:04,537 --> 01:13:06,097
How are you?
995
01:13:07,698 --> 01:13:10,057
Oh, well... I'm confused.
996
01:13:10,737 --> 01:13:12,058
Hey...
997
01:13:12,618 --> 01:13:14,218
- listen to this.
- What?
998
01:13:14,298 --> 01:13:15,698
Listen.
999
01:13:19,219 --> 01:13:21,459
- Oh, my God... Oh, my God...
- Oh, Roland.
1000
01:13:21,539 --> 01:13:23,539
No, no, no. Listen, listen.
1001
01:13:25,619 --> 01:13:28,699
What on Earth are
they doing in there?
1002
01:13:28,780 --> 01:13:31,140
Oh, God. They're going crazy.
1003
01:13:32,060 --> 01:13:33,380
Sara...
1004
01:14:09,265 --> 01:14:13,705
Before we left, Jack told me he wants
to make our relationship exclusive again.
1005
01:14:13,785 --> 01:14:16,185
You mean, he's not
going to go out anymore?
1006
01:14:16,266 --> 01:14:19,906
I don't think he ever did.
He could never get a date.
1007
01:14:19,986 --> 01:14:22,906
Seeing me going out
drove him nuts, too.
1008
01:14:22,987 --> 01:14:25,947
- What are you going to do?
- I don't know.
1009
01:14:26,026 --> 01:14:30,867
I mean, I really like him,
even though he's not so smart.
1010
01:14:36,868 --> 01:14:38,948
- Listen.
- What?
1011
01:14:39,828 --> 01:14:41,828
Through the wall.
1012
01:14:42,348 --> 01:14:44,389
- What is it?
- Somebody's doing it.
1013
01:14:44,469 --> 01:14:46,509
Oh, how beautiful.
1014
01:14:46,590 --> 01:14:50,150
They're really excited. They
must be cheating on someone.
1015
01:15:08,032 --> 01:15:09,632
The key.
1016
01:15:11,312 --> 01:15:13,272
Oh, my God, I don't believe it.
1017
01:15:13,352 --> 01:15:15,272
- Are you staying here?
- Yes, we are.
1018
01:15:15,353 --> 01:15:18,993
Well, Sara, there goes our cover.
There's no such thing as a secret.
1019
01:15:19,073 --> 01:15:21,033
I think there is.
1020
01:15:23,793 --> 01:15:25,594
Oh, uh, Roland, this is SanDeE.
1021
01:15:25,674 --> 01:15:26,914
- Hi.
- SanDeE, this is Roland.
1022
01:15:26,994 --> 01:15:28,394
- Hello.
- And Sara.
1023
01:15:28,474 --> 01:15:31,314
- Hi.
- Where are you headed?
1024
01:15:31,395 --> 01:15:33,835
- To the restaurant.
- That's where we were going.
1025
01:15:33,915 --> 01:15:35,795
- Why don't you join us?
- Oh, that would be neat.
1026
01:15:35,875 --> 01:15:38,875
- No, no, really, you guys should be alone.
- Don't be silly.
1027
01:15:38,956 --> 01:15:41,875
We can't both sit in the same restaurant
and pretend to be alone. Come on.
1028
01:15:41,956 --> 01:15:43,316
Oh, cool!
1029
01:15:47,956 --> 01:15:49,836
- Hello
1030
01:15:52,637 --> 01:15:54,397
What's that clanging sound?
1031
01:15:54,478 --> 01:15:57,718
It's a nuisance. It's
my damn testicles.
1032
01:16:10,479 --> 01:16:13,280
- Is it okay to spin here?
- Yeah. Sure.
1033
01:16:15,760 --> 01:16:17,720
Shall I get your
sweater? I'm a little cold.
1034
01:16:17,801 --> 01:16:20,921
- Yes, thanks.
- I'll run up and get it.
1035
01:16:21,000 --> 01:16:24,001
- Harris, do you want to come with me?
- Oh, yeah. Sure. Yeah.
1036
01:16:25,401 --> 01:16:28,161
On second thought,
I'll just stay here.
1037
01:16:28,241 --> 01:16:30,441
Back in a flash!
1038
01:16:31,762 --> 01:16:33,402
You liar. You big, fat liar!
1039
01:16:33,482 --> 01:16:35,299
Here I am innocently
driving up to Santa Barbara...
1040
01:16:35,323 --> 01:16:36,420
thinking you're seeing
your ex-husband.
1041
01:16:36,443 --> 01:16:38,706
Instead, you're right next
door giving it to my best friend!
1042
01:16:38,763 --> 01:16:41,163
Your best friend? Since when
is Roland your best friend?
1043
01:16:41,243 --> 01:16:43,964
- He and I are very close!
- You've never seen him without me!
1044
01:16:44,043 --> 01:16:47,404
That doesn't matter!
There's a bond among men!
1045
01:16:47,484 --> 01:16:51,685
- Anyway, there's two liars here.
- Yeah? Roland is my ex-husband.
1046
01:16:53,445 --> 01:16:56,605
- Okay. One!
- Hey, you guys! Watch!
1047
01:16:58,365 --> 01:17:01,246
- Great!
- Thank you.
1048
01:17:02,326 --> 01:17:05,046
Why didn't you tell me you
just broke up with someone?
1049
01:17:05,126 --> 01:17:06,846
How do you know I just
broke up with someone?
1050
01:17:06,926 --> 01:17:08,566
When men just break
up with someone...
1051
01:17:08,647 --> 01:17:11,207
they always run around with
someone much too young for them!
1052
01:17:11,287 --> 01:17:14,007
She's not so young.
She'll be 27 in 4 years.
1053
01:17:15,847 --> 01:17:17,688
I tried to get out of it.
I'm up here with her...
1054
01:17:17,728 --> 01:17:20,888
- but all I can think about is you.
- That's why you made love this afternoon!
1055
01:17:20,968 --> 01:17:22,288
Yes!
1056
01:17:23,048 --> 01:17:25,409
I know that doesn't
make a lot of sense.
1057
01:17:25,488 --> 01:17:28,489
And why me in this? You
practically broke through our wall!
1058
01:17:28,569 --> 01:17:30,786
You know how that made me feel?
Hearing you with someone else?
1059
01:17:30,809 --> 01:17:32,810
You didn't know
it was me 'til later.
1060
01:17:32,889 --> 01:17:36,930
Yeah, but I projected
back when I found out!
1061
01:17:37,010 --> 01:17:38,130
Coming!
1062
01:17:40,771 --> 01:17:44,171
We're so close.
We're this close to it!
1063
01:17:44,250 --> 01:17:45,811
Stay here in L.A.
1064
01:17:47,331 --> 01:17:49,251
What would I do if I
stayed? How would it work?
1065
01:17:49,331 --> 01:17:51,732
We'd see each
other, not push it...
1066
01:17:51,811 --> 01:17:54,732
take it easy the first
couple of days, and then...
1067
01:17:54,812 --> 01:17:58,092
marriage, kids, old age,
and death, I don't know.
1068
01:17:58,173 --> 01:17:59,413
And if I were to go?
1069
01:18:01,053 --> 01:18:06,333
All I know is, on the day your plane
was to leave, if I had the power...
1070
01:18:06,414 --> 01:18:08,694
I would turn the winds around...
1071
01:18:08,773 --> 01:18:12,454
I would roll in the
fog, bring in storms...
1072
01:18:12,534 --> 01:18:16,214
I would change the polarity of the
Earth so compasses couldn't work...
1073
01:18:16,295 --> 01:18:18,935
So your plane couldn't take off.
1074
01:18:21,535 --> 01:18:22,896
Coming!
1075
01:18:27,536 --> 01:18:30,216
This is everything
I didn't want.
1076
01:18:30,297 --> 01:18:32,696
Pain... lying...
1077
01:18:33,417 --> 01:18:35,137
complications.
1078
01:18:36,857 --> 01:18:38,658
I'm hot from running now.
1079
01:18:38,737 --> 01:18:42,698
- Let's all walk down the pier.
- Oh, cool!
1080
01:18:42,778 --> 01:18:47,898
Do you ever wonder why the
water just doesn't fly up into the sky?
1081
01:18:52,019 --> 01:18:56,939
- Do you want this in the trunk or up front?
- That? Up front.
1082
01:19:00,540 --> 01:19:02,340
- Hi!
- Hello.
1083
01:19:03,780 --> 01:19:08,141
- What's the matter? Are you okay?
- Oh, sorry. I'm okay.
1084
01:19:08,221 --> 01:19:10,941
I've been working on
Sara to come back with me.
1085
01:19:11,022 --> 01:19:13,101
I'm her ex-husband.
1086
01:19:13,182 --> 01:19:15,702
That's the difference
between England and America.
1087
01:19:15,782 --> 01:19:18,862
The English maintain civil
relationships with their exes.
1088
01:19:18,942 --> 01:19:21,062
Americans kill them.
1089
01:19:25,223 --> 01:19:28,463
She told me today she
doesn't think it's right.
1090
01:19:28,543 --> 01:19:29,623
Really?
1091
01:19:29,703 --> 01:19:32,224
She's evidently been
seeing some American.
1092
01:19:32,303 --> 01:19:35,664
- Yeah. That can happen, yeah.
- She's not going with him, either.
1093
01:19:35,744 --> 01:19:39,464
She decided to go back to
London as soon as she can.
1094
01:19:40,065 --> 01:19:41,505
Pity.
1095
01:19:42,545 --> 01:19:44,705
I so wanted this to work out.
1096
01:19:44,785 --> 01:19:47,665
I wanted a
relationship, you know...
1097
01:19:48,466 --> 01:19:50,666
like you and SanDeE have.
1098
01:19:57,067 --> 01:19:58,467
I've been thinking
about myself...
1099
01:19:58,547 --> 01:20:00,884
and think I can become the kind of
person that's worth you staying for.
1100
01:20:00,907 --> 01:20:02,547
First of all, I'm a
man who can cry.
1101
01:20:02,627 --> 01:20:05,188
It's true, it's usually when
I've hurt myself, but it's a start.
1102
01:20:05,268 --> 01:20:07,148
I know there's something
that would make you stay.
1103
01:20:07,188 --> 01:20:09,869
I know there's some move
I can make, the right word...
1104
01:20:09,948 --> 01:20:11,790
attitude, plan, but
these are all just tricks.
1105
01:20:11,869 --> 01:20:13,806
These are all just things
I would think up and try...
1106
01:20:13,829 --> 01:20:15,069
So let's forego that!
1107
01:20:15,149 --> 01:20:18,180
Let's assume that whatever that thing is
that would make you stay has occured...
1108
01:20:18,230 --> 01:20:20,647
that it has happened and my hand
has already gone down your throat...
1109
01:20:20,670 --> 01:20:22,630
grabbed your
heart, and squoze it!
1110
01:20:22,710 --> 01:20:25,590
Because there comes a time in
everyone's life when it's now or never.
1111
01:20:25,670 --> 01:20:28,791
It's now or never. Let me read
you from this book of poems.
1112
01:20:28,871 --> 01:20:32,151
"O pointy birds,
O pointy, pointy..."
1113
01:20:35,591 --> 01:20:39,712
And now here's Morris
Frost with a cinema review.
1114
01:20:41,112 --> 01:20:43,313
The film "Slice Up Mommy'"...
1115
01:20:43,392 --> 01:20:47,353
Is an effort to intertwine the
psychological nature of film...
1116
01:20:48,193 --> 01:20:50,754
I'd like to turn
this car in, please.
1117
01:20:50,833 --> 01:20:53,953
And now, the weather report.
1118
01:20:54,794 --> 01:20:56,354
Sunny.
1119
01:20:56,434 --> 01:20:57,714
72.
1120
01:20:57,794 --> 01:20:59,554
And that's the weather.
1121
01:21:01,754 --> 01:21:05,275
Our next weather
report will be in four days.
1122
01:21:05,355 --> 01:21:06,452
- Thank you.
- You're welcome.
1123
01:21:06,475 --> 01:21:11,236
We'll be right back after this
commercial ad placement.
1124
01:21:16,117 --> 01:21:20,677
Why is it that we don't always
recognize the moment when love begins...
1125
01:21:20,757 --> 01:21:24,078
but we always know when it ends?
1126
01:21:34,238 --> 01:21:35,358
Good evening.
1127
01:21:35,439 --> 01:21:37,279
Your final
destination is London?
1128
01:24:28,700 --> 01:24:30,340
That's twice.
1129
01:24:57,224 --> 01:25:00,224
Forget for this moment
the smog, and the cars...
1130
01:25:00,303 --> 01:25:02,624
and the restaurants,
and the skating...
1131
01:25:02,704 --> 01:25:05,104
and remember only this...
1132
01:25:05,185 --> 01:25:10,824
A kiss may not be the truth,
but it is what we wish were true.
1133
01:25:14,545 --> 01:25:18,946
Wow! That was something!
That was really something!
1134
01:25:19,026 --> 01:25:20,946
It was fantastic!
1135
01:25:21,026 --> 01:25:23,866
- It was...
- It had real class.
1136
01:25:23,947 --> 01:25:28,067
Is there anything we can do to
thank you? I mean, a gift or anything?
1137
01:25:29,507 --> 01:25:31,027
Name it.
1138
01:25:33,587 --> 01:25:34,468
Done.
1139
01:25:34,547 --> 01:25:36,868
I never could figure
out the riddle, though.
1140
01:25:38,509 --> 01:25:42,069
"You will know what to do..."
1141
01:25:42,149 --> 01:25:45,949
When you unscramble
'How Daddy is Doing.'”
1142
01:25:46,029 --> 01:25:50,189
- It's a riddle, too tough for me.
- I know what it is.
1143
01:25:50,270 --> 01:25:52,270
It's an English crossword clue.
1144
01:25:52,350 --> 01:25:54,990
"Unscramble" means
you rearrange the letters...
1145
01:25:55,070 --> 01:25:58,190
of "How Daddy is
doing." So, let's see...
1146
01:25:58,270 --> 01:26:00,591
Put the "S" in front of the "h".
1147
01:26:01,311 --> 01:26:04,952
Move the "ing" after the "s".
1148
01:26:05,031 --> 01:26:07,272
Put the "do" up after them.
1149
01:26:07,351 --> 01:26:09,672
Swap the "h" and the "s"...
1150
01:26:09,752 --> 01:26:11,833
and put the "I
behind the "d" and.
1151
01:26:13,993 --> 01:26:17,153
"Sing Doo Wah Diddy."
1152
01:26:17,233 --> 01:26:20,793
Sing Doo Wah Diddy, that's
the mystery of the ages?
1153
01:26:23,434 --> 01:26:25,994
I sat up nights working on that!
1154
01:26:26,074 --> 01:26:28,715
But I forgive you.
1155
01:26:31,435 --> 01:26:33,995
There's one thing
I need to know.
1156
01:26:34,955 --> 01:26:38,115
Did you do this? Did I do this?
1157
01:26:38,195 --> 01:26:39,956
How did this happen?
1158
01:26:44,796 --> 01:26:46,836
Hey, you got your voice back!
1159
01:27:20,401 --> 01:27:25,041
There are only two things
in my life I will never forget.
1160
01:27:25,121 --> 01:27:28,801
One is that there is
someone for everyone...
1161
01:27:28,882 --> 01:27:33,162
even if you need a pickax, a
compass, and night goggles to find them.
1162
01:27:33,242 --> 01:27:35,562
And the other is tonight...
1163
01:27:35,643 --> 01:27:40,763
when I learned that romance
does exist deep in the heart of L.A.