1
00:00:04,000 --> 00:00:06,080
My mommy is a doctor.
2
00:00:06,160 --> 00:00:09,400
My daddy is a truck driver.
- My mom's a teacher.
3
00:00:09,480 --> 00:00:14,080
And your dad?
- Mmm. My dad-
4
00:00:14,161 --> 00:00:17,681
He's... a liar.
5
00:00:17,721 --> 00:00:22,401
A- A liar? Oh, I'm sure
you don't mean a liar.
6
00:00:22,481 --> 00:00:26,121
Well, he wears a suit and goes
to court and talks to the judge.
7
00:00:26,162 --> 00:00:28,442
Oh! I see.
8
00:00:28,522 --> 00:00:30,722
You mean he's a lawyer.
9
00:00:37,003 --> 00:00:38,843
Hey, Fletcher.
How'd it go?
10
00:00:38,923 --> 00:00:41,843
Just another victory for the
wrongly accused. - Yeah, right.
11
00:00:41,883 --> 00:00:44,723
Mr. Reede, great job.
Do you want your coat back?
12
00:00:44,763 --> 00:00:47,163
No, I'm sure you'll be
needing it again and again.
13
00:00:47,243 --> 00:00:50,643
Do you have a moment? - I'm late.
It's my day to be with my son.
14
00:00:50,724 --> 00:00:53,524
A couple of reporters want
to talk about your big win.
15
00:00:53,604 --> 00:00:55,564
Yeah? How's my hair?
16
00:00:55,604 --> 00:00:57,484
Fabulous.
You look great.
17
00:01:12,165 --> 00:01:16,965
What time is it? - I am sure your
dad just got held up in court again.
18
00:01:23,446 --> 00:01:27,046
Dad!
- Maximilian!
19
00:01:30,367 --> 00:01:33,447
Hey, how ya doin', creep?
20
00:01:33,527 --> 00:01:35,407
Good.
21
00:01:35,447 --> 00:01:39,847
Me too, except my arm
has been botherin' me.
22
00:01:39,928 --> 00:01:42,128
Oh, no, Dad!
- Oh, yeah.
23
00:01:42,168 --> 00:01:44,968
It's becoming a claw!
24
00:01:47,888 --> 00:01:51,328
Nothing can stop the claw!
25
00:01:54,049 --> 00:01:58,249
Run, boy, run!
Save yourself!
26
00:01:58,329 --> 00:02:00,729
Do the claw to Mom!
Do the claw to Mom!
27
00:02:00,809 --> 00:02:04,249
Uh-oh. You found
the claw's only weakness.
28
00:02:04,330 --> 00:02:07,170
Subzero temperatures!
29
00:02:07,250 --> 00:02:10,730
So, did you have any trouble
finding the place?
30
00:02:10,810 --> 00:02:14,210
Okay, I'm late. I'm sorry.
I ran out of gas.
31
00:02:14,291 --> 00:02:18,411
The gauge is broken.
Rough neighborhood too.
32
00:02:18,491 --> 00:02:20,491
Good thing I was wearin'
neutral gang colors.
33
00:02:20,571 --> 00:02:23,091
I might have had to pull out
my nine and bust a cap.
34
00:02:23,131 --> 00:02:25,291
My mind and my money
and my money and my mind
35
00:02:25,371 --> 00:02:29,051
They would never hurt you,
Fletcher. You're their lawyer.
36
00:02:29,132 --> 00:02:32,332
That was below the belt.
Keep the gloves up.
37
00:02:32,412 --> 00:02:35,212
Mom, Dad's taking me
to see wrestling!
38
00:02:35,292 --> 00:02:38,052
Oh, Fletcher!
- Oh, Audrey!
39
00:02:38,132 --> 00:02:40,932
Why do you have to take him
to see that stuff? It's very violent.
40
00:02:41,013 --> 00:02:45,413
The boy must grow
to be a warrior.
41
00:02:45,493 --> 00:02:47,373
Who better to guide him
than Rick Rude...
42
00:02:47,453 --> 00:02:50,733
and Randy Macho-man Savage
in the cage of death?
43
00:02:52,894 --> 00:02:54,814
Oh, good!
44
00:02:54,934 --> 00:02:58,494
Jerry, how's it goin'?
- Hey, gipper!
45
00:02:58,494 --> 00:03:00,774
You look like you grow
by the minute!
46
00:03:00,854 --> 00:03:03,574
Fletcher, pleasure to see you.
Hi, honey!
47
00:03:03,654 --> 00:03:05,974
Hi.
48
00:03:06,055 --> 00:03:09,655
Wow. That was a nice image.
Deleted.
49
00:03:11,175 --> 00:03:13,415
I have some more boxes for you.
- Oh, you're an angel.
50
00:03:13,495 --> 00:03:18,135
Boxes? - Remember, I told you a few
weeks ago, Jerry's moving to Boston.
51
00:03:18,176 --> 00:03:22,536
Oh, right! The job, the thing.
What do you do again?
52
00:03:22,616 --> 00:03:25,896
Hospital administrator.
- Right, right!
53
00:03:25,976 --> 00:03:27,816
Well, the boxes
are in my car.
54
00:03:27,896 --> 00:03:29,736
Oh, those can wait.
55
00:03:29,817 --> 00:03:32,657
I made this young man
a promise, didn't I?
56
00:03:32,697 --> 00:03:34,657
Got time to throw a few?
- Sure!
57
00:03:34,737 --> 00:03:37,137
Come on, then!
58
00:03:37,177 --> 00:03:39,537
I forgot the boyfriend was moving.
- Jerry!
59
00:03:39,577 --> 00:03:42,617
His name is Jerry!
And yes, he's moving.
60
00:03:42,698 --> 00:03:45,978
I'm sorry. I hated him less
than your other boyfriends.
61
00:03:46,058 --> 00:03:48,738
It wasn't serious, was it?
- Semiserious, yes.
62
00:03:48,818 --> 00:03:52,418
You guys aren't-
You know-
63
00:03:54,939 --> 00:03:57,699
I have been
dating him for seven months.
64
00:03:57,779 --> 00:04:00,379
What do you think?
- Really? Ooh!
65
00:04:00,419 --> 00:04:03,339
I was hoping after being married
to me you'd have no strength left.
66
00:04:03,419 --> 00:04:07,259
Remember, when we were married, I wasn't
having sex nearly as often as you were.
67
00:04:07,340 --> 00:04:11,660
Ouch! And the ref
takes a point away.
68
00:04:11,740 --> 00:04:15,900
Out!
- Max is gonna miss him.
69
00:04:15,980 --> 00:04:17,860
I'll be here.
70
00:04:17,940 --> 00:04:21,700
Ready? Yeah! Play ball.
71
00:04:21,781 --> 00:04:24,781
Max, come on. We've gotta go.
72
00:04:24,861 --> 00:04:28,661
Dad, are we really going to wrestling?
- Absolutely, Max Factor.
73
00:04:28,701 --> 00:04:30,941
We just have to stop by
the office for one minute.
74
00:04:30,982 --> 00:04:32,942
Excuse me, sir. Any spare change?
75
00:04:33,022 --> 00:04:34,942
Oh, I'm sorry. I'm all out.
76
00:04:34,982 --> 00:04:36,982
I can't do it.
77
00:04:37,022 --> 00:04:40,782
Fred, it's your duty to present
the strongest case possible.
78
00:04:40,862 --> 00:04:43,662
The strongest case possible
consistent with the truth.
79
00:04:43,743 --> 00:04:45,663
Will you let the judge
decide what's true?
80
00:04:45,743 --> 00:04:49,343
That's what he gets paid for.
You get paid to win.
81
00:04:49,383 --> 00:04:51,623
If you insist
that I take it to trial,
82
00:04:51,703 --> 00:04:55,263
I will represent Mrs. Cole
aggressively and ethically.
83
00:04:55,343 --> 00:04:57,423
But Miranda, I won't lie.
84
00:04:59,384 --> 00:05:02,344
Then we'll just have
to find someone who will.
85
00:05:04,344 --> 00:05:06,624
Twenty-first floor.
Men's wear.
86
00:05:10,865 --> 00:05:13,025
Hi, Mr. Reede!
- Whoa!
87
00:05:13,065 --> 00:05:17,025
Hey. Did you do something
to your hair?
88
00:05:17,065 --> 00:05:18,825
It's a bit extreme,
isn't it?
89
00:05:18,905 --> 00:05:22,465
No! That's the thing nowadays, right?
90
00:05:22,506 --> 00:05:25,826
He said it would accent my facial
features. - That's what it does!
91
00:05:25,866 --> 00:05:28,546
It completely accents
your facial features.
92
00:05:28,586 --> 00:05:32,826
We're just gonna go
to my office-
93
00:05:34,627 --> 00:05:37,107
Hey, Fletcher.
- Hey, Pete.
94
00:05:37,187 --> 00:05:39,507
You losin' a little weight?
- I don't know. Maybe.
95
00:05:39,587 --> 00:05:41,987
Looks and personality.
A double-threat guy.
96
00:05:42,067 --> 00:05:44,387
Hey, Mr. Reede.
- Hey... man.
97
00:05:44,427 --> 00:05:46,427
It's, uh, Randy.
- Yeah, I know.
98
00:05:46,468 --> 00:05:49,428
Takin' lunch orders.
Anything?
99
00:05:49,508 --> 00:05:51,468
No, thanks.
100
00:05:51,548 --> 00:05:54,828
I had so much for breakfast,
I'm ready to pop.
101
00:05:54,908 --> 00:05:58,988
I mean, I'm full.
- Okay. Great.
102
00:06:02,909 --> 00:06:05,629
Max!
- Hi, Greta.
103
00:06:05,669 --> 00:06:10,229
Hey, what's new? - It's my birthday
tomorrow, and we're having a party.
104
00:06:10,310 --> 00:06:13,510
Wow! I am sure your daddy
has got you something wonderful.
105
00:06:13,590 --> 00:06:18,950
Yeah?
- Yeah, you bet! Listen, kiddo.
106
00:06:19,030 --> 00:06:23,190
Why don't you play in my office
for a minute. Sue somebody for
everything they've got.
107
00:06:23,271 --> 00:06:27,351
Maybe you can send a fax
to one of your girlfriends. Hey, sorry.
108
00:06:27,431 --> 00:06:31,151
Damn it!
I completely forgot.
109
00:06:31,231 --> 00:06:33,111
Oh, what a surprise.
110
00:06:33,191 --> 00:06:35,751
You are a saint.
I should buy you a gift.
111
00:06:35,792 --> 00:06:39,672
You did. - I always do
the classy thing. Any calls?
112
00:06:39,752 --> 00:06:42,632
The Drawlings' clerk needs your filing.
- Tell him it's in the mail.
113
00:06:42,672 --> 00:06:47,432
Right. You'll do it next week. Mr. McKinley
phoned to confirm your meeting tomorrow.
114
00:06:47,513 --> 00:06:50,433
Strep throat. Some kind of virus.
What's goin' around?
115
00:06:50,473 --> 00:06:52,513
Asian flu?
- Good one.
116
00:06:52,553 --> 00:06:55,113
And your mother called.
- I'm on vacation.
117
00:06:55,153 --> 00:06:57,513
It's your fifth week.
- Snowed in. Phones are down.
118
00:06:57,553 --> 00:06:59,913
Break mother's heart.
Done. That's it.
119
00:06:59,994 --> 00:07:02,834
Except Miranda's looking for you.
120
00:07:02,914 --> 00:07:07,274
How much ass do I have to kiss
to make partner?
121
00:07:07,314 --> 00:07:11,754
Tell her I broke my leg and I had to be
shot. - Tell her yourself.
122
00:07:11,795 --> 00:07:15,755
And then send out a notice
of judgement on my win today!
123
00:07:15,795 --> 00:07:20,875
I'll get right on it.
- Miranda! Hey, I didn't see you.
124
00:07:20,915 --> 00:07:23,275
You look beautiful today.
125
00:07:23,355 --> 00:07:25,795
Here! I bought you a gift.
126
00:07:25,836 --> 00:07:29,556
Oh, thanks. I heard about
your victory. Congratulations.
127
00:07:29,636 --> 00:07:33,036
You're making quite an impression
on the partnership committee.
128
00:07:34,196 --> 00:07:37,476
That's right!
You folks are meetin' soon.
129
00:07:37,517 --> 00:07:39,757
I've been so busy,
I haven't even thought about it.
130
00:07:43,077 --> 00:07:45,597
Anyway. I have a client
in my office.
131
00:07:45,677 --> 00:07:50,477
Better not keep him waiting.
- Actually, something rather
important's just come up.
132
00:07:50,518 --> 00:07:53,598
Um, you're not busy tonight, are you?
133
00:08:00,438 --> 00:08:02,518
We're not going, are we?
134
00:08:15,880 --> 00:08:19,640
Audrey. You know how there are
moments you know are critical?
135
00:08:19,720 --> 00:08:22,640
Mm-hmm.
- And choices that have to be made...
136
00:08:22,720 --> 00:08:26,000
upon which all one's
future happiness will depend?
137
00:08:26,040 --> 00:08:27,960
This is one of those moments.
138
00:08:29,721 --> 00:08:33,161
What are you
trying to say?
139
00:08:33,201 --> 00:08:35,561
Will you marry me?
140
00:08:38,962 --> 00:08:42,922
You're moving. - I know, but
l want you and Max to come with me.
141
00:08:42,962 --> 00:08:45,042
Audrey, I've been giving this
a lot of thought.
142
00:08:45,082 --> 00:08:47,922
You know I'm not prone to wild
flights of romantic fancy.
143
00:08:48,002 --> 00:08:52,202
But the thought of you and I
together just makes sense.
144
00:08:52,243 --> 00:08:55,003
Now I'm ready. I think
you're ready. I love Max.
145
00:08:55,083 --> 00:08:57,283
You love Max.
It's right. It fits.
146
00:08:58,443 --> 00:09:00,803
So what do you say?
147
00:09:17,365 --> 00:09:20,725
Hey, creepy.
Happy birthday.
148
00:09:20,805 --> 00:09:22,645
How old are you now,
22 or 23?
149
00:09:22,725 --> 00:09:26,045
I'm five, Dad.
- Okay.
150
00:09:26,125 --> 00:09:28,605
Return the beer keg.
151
00:09:28,686 --> 00:09:31,686
Cancel the dancing girls.
152
00:09:31,766 --> 00:09:34,606
I don't know what I'm gonna do.
153
00:09:34,646 --> 00:09:37,126
I feel completely unprepared
for this.
154
00:09:37,206 --> 00:09:39,926
You see, I bought you a present,
but last night...
155
00:09:39,966 --> 00:09:43,126
I accidentally swallowed it.
156
00:09:43,207 --> 00:09:45,807
Dad, it's in your belly!
- Scalpel.
157
00:09:46,847 --> 00:09:48,727
I hope it's not
partially digested!
158
00:09:48,767 --> 00:09:51,167
Ooh! Look out!
159
00:09:51,247 --> 00:09:53,807
Cool! What is it?
- Cool!
160
00:09:53,848 --> 00:09:57,408
It's- lt's a surprise.
161
00:09:57,488 --> 00:09:59,328
All right, it's a pony.
Just open it!
162
00:10:00,728 --> 00:10:03,928
I'm gonna help,
'cause I can't stand it!
163
00:10:05,409 --> 00:10:08,609
Baseball stuff!
- Baseball stuff!
164
00:10:08,689 --> 00:10:11,289
Cool! Can we play?
165
00:10:11,369 --> 00:10:14,929
I'll be Nomo. You can be
Jose Canseco. Can we play?
166
00:10:14,969 --> 00:10:17,369
Absolutely.
- Yeah!
167
00:10:17,409 --> 00:10:21,169
Right after your party
tonight, we'll do it.
168
00:10:21,210 --> 00:10:23,770
You and me.
169
00:10:23,850 --> 00:10:27,010
I just have to really
concentrate on this right now.
170
00:10:49,052 --> 00:10:51,452
Hi!
171
00:10:51,532 --> 00:10:54,532
Hey! Happy birthday.
172
00:10:54,652 --> 00:10:58,172
Thanks, Mom.
- Happy birthday, Max!
173
00:10:58,173 --> 00:11:02,733
One, two, three, four, five.
And one for good luck!
174
00:11:02,773 --> 00:11:04,733
He struck the child.
Did you see that?
175
00:11:04,813 --> 00:11:08,213
Look at what Dad got me!
- Whoa! Great!
176
00:11:08,254 --> 00:11:11,134
Hey, I have my glove
in the car.
177
00:11:11,214 --> 00:11:14,454
Maybe we can stop at the park
on the way home and play catch.
178
00:11:14,494 --> 00:11:17,894
Then tonight we can rub oil in it
and wrap a big rubber band around it.
179
00:11:17,974 --> 00:11:20,614
It'll be great.
Hey, great gift, Dad!
180
00:11:20,695 --> 00:11:24,775
Thanks, son. I'm so glad my gift
could bring those two together.
181
00:11:24,855 --> 00:11:27,735
My plan to phase myself out
is almost complete.
182
00:11:29,015 --> 00:11:31,095
Something's come up,
and we need to talk.
183
00:11:31,135 --> 00:11:33,335
Come on, Mom.
I want to go play!
184
00:11:33,416 --> 00:11:36,416
And actually it's kind of important,
so maybe we could talk tonight?
185
00:11:36,496 --> 00:11:38,496
Tonight?
- Yes.
186
00:11:38,576 --> 00:11:41,496
Max's birthday party.
- Oh! Yeah.
187
00:11:41,536 --> 00:11:43,936
Sure. Of course.
We'll talk then. Great!
188
00:11:46,537 --> 00:11:49,137
Maximus! I'm outta here.
- Bye, Dad.
189
00:11:49,177 --> 00:11:51,497
Jerry, enjoy my wife.
190
00:12:06,778 --> 00:12:09,218
Well, this is good.
191
00:12:09,298 --> 00:12:11,578
This is really smart.
192
00:12:11,619 --> 00:12:13,499
Thank you.
- Only-
193
00:12:13,539 --> 00:12:17,899
Well, it's not true.
Does that present a problem?
194
00:12:19,499 --> 00:12:21,339
Mrs. Cole,
the only problem here...
195
00:12:21,419 --> 00:12:25,019
is that after you've provided years
of faithful service and loving support,
196
00:12:25,060 --> 00:12:27,180
of raising his children-
they are his?
197
00:12:27,260 --> 00:12:31,300
Huh? Oh. Yeah, yeah.
One for sure.
198
00:12:32,780 --> 00:12:35,100
After all that, your husband
wants to deny you...
199
00:12:35,141 --> 00:12:39,341
a fair share of the assets based
on one act of indiscretion. - Seven.
200
00:12:39,421 --> 00:12:43,381
Pardon me?
- Seven single acts of indiscretion.
201
00:12:44,541 --> 00:12:46,381
Seven acts of indiscretion,
202
00:12:46,461 --> 00:12:48,661
only one of which he has
any evidence of...
203
00:12:48,702 --> 00:12:52,142
and all of which he himself
is responsible for.
204
00:12:52,222 --> 00:12:55,342
He is?
- Mrs. Cole.
205
00:12:55,422 --> 00:12:59,102
You're the victim here.
The wife of a cold, distant workaholic.
206
00:12:59,143 --> 00:13:01,703
Starved for affection, driven
into the arms of another man!
207
00:13:01,783 --> 00:13:03,663
Seven.
- Yeah, whatever!
208
00:13:03,743 --> 00:13:05,823
You're not trying to deny him
what is rightfully his.
209
00:13:05,903 --> 00:13:09,223
All you're insisting on is what
is rightfully yours. - Yeah.
210
00:13:09,303 --> 00:13:12,183
And maybe a...
fraction more.
211
00:13:12,224 --> 00:13:14,624
I think you're
bending over backwards.
212
00:13:14,704 --> 00:13:19,384
Yeah. I did offer to
give him joint custody of the kids.
213
00:13:19,424 --> 00:13:22,464
He is, after all,
a wonderful father.
214
00:13:22,504 --> 00:13:25,584
And how does he repay you?
215
00:13:25,665 --> 00:13:27,905
By dragging you through
a painful litigation process!
216
00:13:27,945 --> 00:13:31,425
No, no, no, no!
This can't happen!
217
00:13:31,505 --> 00:13:35,065
With all due respect, this isn't
about you and Mr. Cole anymore.
218
00:13:35,105 --> 00:13:37,025
This is about all women.
219
00:13:37,066 --> 00:13:40,386
Where would Tina Turner be right
now if she'd rolled over and said,
220
00:13:40,426 --> 00:13:43,586
Hit me again, lke,
and put some stank on it?
221
00:13:43,626 --> 00:13:45,706
Rollin' on the river,
that's where she'd be.
222
00:13:45,786 --> 00:13:49,666
But she's beyond Thunderdome,
because she decided to send a message.
223
00:13:49,707 --> 00:13:54,427
Wake up, sisters!
There's no-o-o-o-o-o...
224
00:13:54,467 --> 00:13:57,987
such thing as a weaker sex!
225
00:13:58,027 --> 00:14:01,427
You know what?
226
00:14:01,508 --> 00:14:05,988
You're right, Mr. Reede. I am
tired of getting kicked around!
227
00:14:06,028 --> 00:14:08,548
Good for you!
228
00:14:08,628 --> 00:14:12,588
Thank you.
I am so grateful...
229
00:14:12,668 --> 00:14:15,468
to have an attorney
I can trust.
230
00:14:21,949 --> 00:14:23,789
Oh, you are good.
231
00:14:23,869 --> 00:14:28,429
You are very, very good.
232
00:14:28,510 --> 00:14:32,310
The Cole case is worth
a truckload of money to this firm.
233
00:14:32,390 --> 00:14:35,510
If you win, I guarantee
you'll make partner.
234
00:14:38,191 --> 00:14:42,151
In fact, how would you
like to make...
235
00:14:42,191 --> 00:14:44,591
a partner right now, hmm?
236
00:14:44,671 --> 00:14:48,071
Oh, I don't know.
I should-
237
00:14:54,312 --> 00:14:56,872
Happy, happy, happy
happy, happy, happy
238
00:14:56,952 --> 00:15:01,392
Happy
I'm so happy today
239
00:15:01,472 --> 00:15:04,712
I live in the U. S. A.
- So honey?
240
00:15:04,793 --> 00:15:07,113
Have you, uh,
thought about-
241
00:15:07,153 --> 00:15:11,753
You know, what we talked about?
- Uh, yeah. I can't go.
242
00:15:11,793 --> 00:15:13,673
What? Wh-Why not?
243
00:15:13,713 --> 00:15:17,113
Because of Max.
- But he'll love it there.
244
00:15:17,194 --> 00:15:19,154
I'm gonna take him
to Fenway Park.
245
00:15:19,234 --> 00:15:21,114
There's hiking
and camping-
246
00:15:21,194 --> 00:15:24,874
Well, really,
it's... Fletcher.
247
00:15:24,914 --> 00:15:27,594
Fletcher?
Come on, honey.
248
00:15:27,674 --> 00:15:29,834
He wouldn't even come over
unless you reminded him.
249
00:15:29,875 --> 00:15:32,395
I know, but when he does
come over, Max is so happy.
250
00:15:32,475 --> 00:15:34,835
It's like they have their
own little world together.
251
00:15:34,915 --> 00:15:38,635
The gipper and I have that too!
- I know, but it's different.
252
00:15:38,715 --> 00:15:41,235
How?
- Well-
253
00:15:42,276 --> 00:15:44,116
He does the claw.
254
00:15:44,196 --> 00:15:46,996
The what?
- The claw.
255
00:15:47,076 --> 00:15:49,996
You know, it's like this-
256
00:15:50,036 --> 00:15:52,196
I don't-
257
00:15:52,236 --> 00:15:56,876
Run for you life.
It's the claw! The claw!
258
00:16:01,517 --> 00:16:03,757
I can't really do it that good.
That's not the point.
259
00:16:03,837 --> 00:16:05,997
The point is...
260
00:16:06,078 --> 00:16:08,438
if they're 3, 000 miles apart,
they're never gonna see each other.
261
00:16:08,518 --> 00:16:10,358
Fletcher's never gonna
come to Boston.
262
00:16:10,438 --> 00:16:13,838
Hello.
263
00:16:13,878 --> 00:16:16,798
Audrey?
- Fletcher! Where are you?
264
00:16:16,878 --> 00:16:19,118
We're waiting. Max won't cut the cake
until you get here.
265
00:16:19,159 --> 00:16:21,999
Um- Oh, man!
266
00:16:22,079 --> 00:16:24,479
Actually, something
has come up. I've-
267
00:16:24,559 --> 00:16:26,639
I've got this problem
on a new case.
268
00:16:26,679 --> 00:16:28,559
What happened?
- Nothing!
269
00:16:28,599 --> 00:16:30,799
I stubbed my toe
on the desk!
270
00:16:30,840 --> 00:16:34,560
I'm really sorry,
but I just can't make it.
271
00:16:34,640 --> 00:16:37,840
The boss is, uh,
really ridin' me.
272
00:16:37,920 --> 00:16:40,440
Fletcher, it's his birthday!
273
00:16:40,520 --> 00:16:42,360
I know, l know.
274
00:16:42,441 --> 00:16:45,881
I'll make it up to him, I promise. I'll
pick him up from school tomorrow, okay?
275
00:16:45,961 --> 00:16:48,001
You're gonna pick him up?
- Yes!
276
00:16:48,081 --> 00:16:50,841
All right, hold on a minute.
You can say happy birthday.
277
00:16:50,921 --> 00:16:53,201
No! Gotta go! Good-bye.
278
00:16:54,762 --> 00:16:56,602
Hello.
279
00:16:56,962 --> 00:17:00,522
Happy birthday to you
280
00:17:00,562 --> 00:17:05,522
Happy birthday, dear Max
281
00:17:05,562 --> 00:17:10,682
Happy birthday to you
282
00:17:12,163 --> 00:17:15,283
Okay, birthday boy.
Make a wish.
283
00:17:17,683 --> 00:17:20,963
Come on, Max.
It can be anything you want.
284
00:17:21,044 --> 00:17:23,044
Anything in the whole world.
285
00:17:37,125 --> 00:17:39,685
Max.
286
00:17:39,765 --> 00:17:42,885
Your father is sorry.
He had to work.
287
00:17:42,965 --> 00:17:45,405
He said he was gonna
be here. He promised.
288
00:17:45,486 --> 00:17:49,646
I know, but he promises that
he is gonna see you tomorrow.
289
00:17:49,686 --> 00:17:53,566
Okay? He's gonna pick you up
from school. All right?
290
00:17:56,406 --> 00:17:59,846
So come on.
Make a wish.
291
00:18:11,488 --> 00:18:13,848
I wish that for only one day...
292
00:18:13,888 --> 00:18:17,728
Dad couldn't tell a lie.
293
00:18:42,570 --> 00:18:46,890
Mmm. That was incredible.
294
00:18:46,971 --> 00:18:50,131
Was it good for you?
295
00:18:50,131 --> 00:18:52,251
I've had better.
296
00:18:59,372 --> 00:19:01,172
l've had better?
297
00:19:04,532 --> 00:19:06,932
l've had better?
298
00:19:11,253 --> 00:19:13,093
l've had better.
299
00:19:35,695 --> 00:19:38,015
Hi.
- Hi.
300
00:19:38,095 --> 00:19:41,175
New in the building?
- Yeah, I just moved in Monday.
301
00:19:41,255 --> 00:19:45,335
Oh! You like it so far?
- Everybody's been real nice.
302
00:19:45,415 --> 00:19:47,895
Well, that's because
you have big jugs.
303
00:19:47,975 --> 00:19:50,455
I mean, your boobs
are huge.
304
00:19:50,536 --> 00:19:54,016
I mean, l wanna
squeeze 'em.
305
00:19:54,096 --> 00:19:57,776
Mama.
306
00:20:07,777 --> 00:20:10,177
Any change, mister?
- Absolutely.
307
00:20:10,257 --> 00:20:12,497
Could you spare some?
- Yes, I could.
308
00:20:12,537 --> 00:20:15,017
Will ya? How come?
- Mm-mm.
309
00:20:15,098 --> 00:20:17,498
Because I believe
you will buy booze with it!
310
00:20:17,538 --> 00:20:22,218
I just wanna get to the office
without being confronted by
the decay of Western society!
311
00:20:22,298 --> 00:20:24,458
Plus, I'm cheap!
312
00:20:25,499 --> 00:20:27,379
Jerk off!
313
00:20:57,101 --> 00:20:58,981
You look like you're
having a rough morning.
314
00:20:59,061 --> 00:21:02,701
Ding, ding, ding!
What do we have for her, Johnny?
315
00:21:04,022 --> 00:21:06,302
Fletcher.
- Dana.
316
00:21:06,382 --> 00:21:09,542
All right, Samantha. How much
will it take to put an end to all this?
317
00:21:09,622 --> 00:21:13,542
Fifty percent of your estate.
- Fifty percent?
318
00:21:13,622 --> 00:21:16,862
With a pre-nup and proof of adultery?
What's your case?
319
00:21:16,943 --> 00:21:19,143
Our case is simply this.
320
00:21:59,466 --> 00:22:01,546
Very funny, Fletcher!
321
00:22:01,626 --> 00:22:05,266
You wanna play hardball?
I'm game.
322
00:22:05,347 --> 00:22:07,987
You wanna play hardball? I'm game.
323
00:22:08,067 --> 00:22:10,627
What are you doing?
What is wrong with you?
324
00:22:10,667 --> 00:22:14,827
All rise for the Honorable
Judge Marshall Stevens.
325
00:22:14,907 --> 00:22:16,827
Honorable?
326
00:22:17,948 --> 00:22:23,228
Good morning.
Call case number BD-09395.
327
00:22:23,268 --> 00:22:26,028
Samantha Cole vs. Richard Cole.
328
00:22:26,108 --> 00:22:28,908
How are we doing this morning,
Counsel? - Fine. Thank you.
329
00:22:28,988 --> 00:22:33,988
And you, Mr. Reede? - I'm a little upset
about a bad sexual episode last night.
330
00:22:37,469 --> 00:22:40,869
Well, you're still young.
It'll happen more and more.
331
00:22:40,909 --> 00:22:45,229
In the meantime, what do you say
we get down to business?
332
00:22:45,310 --> 00:22:49,830
First, Mr. Reede, I see-
- I would like a continuance!
333
00:22:49,870 --> 00:22:53,910
This case has been delayed
several times, Mr. Reede.
334
00:22:53,990 --> 00:22:59,110
I realize that, Your Honor, but l would
really, really like a continuance.
335
00:22:59,151 --> 00:23:01,711
I'll have to hear
good cause, Counsel.
336
00:23:01,791 --> 00:23:03,631
What's the problem?
337
00:23:12,712 --> 00:23:15,592
I can't lie!
338
00:23:15,672 --> 00:23:20,232
Commendable, Mr. Reede, but I'm waiting
to hear good cause. Do you have one or not?
339
00:23:20,273 --> 00:23:23,313
Not.
- Motion for continuance denied.
340
00:23:23,393 --> 00:23:26,153
Is there any chance
of a settlement in this case?
341
00:23:26,233 --> 00:23:30,953
I don't think so, Your Honor.
My client has already offered
Mrs Cole 2.4 million dollars.
342
00:23:30,993 --> 00:23:35,633
But Mr. Reede has made it clear
he has no desire... - Settle!
343
00:23:35,714 --> 00:23:38,954
Settle, settle, settle, settle!
- I don't want to settle.
344
00:23:39,034 --> 00:23:43,114
Mr. Reede. You convinced me
yesterday, I'm the victim!
345
00:23:43,154 --> 00:23:47,114
I'm starved for affection.
I'm driven into the arms of another man.
346
00:23:47,155 --> 00:23:49,155
Seven!
- Yeah, whatever.
347
00:23:49,195 --> 00:23:52,155
With the story you came up with,
I don't think we can lose.
348
00:23:52,235 --> 00:23:56,395
I want to proceed.
- Mrs. Cole, you don't understand.
349
00:23:56,436 --> 00:23:58,796
Mr. Reede.
Do we have a settlement?
350
00:23:58,876 --> 00:24:00,756
No!
351
00:24:04,956 --> 00:24:07,556
No, Your Honor.
- There's no settlement.
352
00:24:07,596 --> 00:24:10,476
Trial to commence 1:30 sharp.
353
00:24:28,638 --> 00:24:30,478
It was me!
354
00:24:33,879 --> 00:24:36,239
Hi, Mr. Reede!
Like the new dress?
355
00:24:36,279 --> 00:24:40,839
Whatever takes the focus
off your head.
356
00:24:40,879 --> 00:24:45,719
What's up, Fletcher? - Your
cholesterol, fatty! Dead man walkin'.
357
00:24:45,800 --> 00:24:47,920
Hey, Fletcher. - Hey! You're
not important enough to remember.
358
00:24:48,000 --> 00:24:50,800
What's it gonna be, Mr. Reede?
- A pockmark, eventually!
359
00:24:50,840 --> 00:24:54,160
Don't ask!
For God's sakes, don't ask.
360
00:24:54,200 --> 00:24:56,880
All right.
You can beat this.
361
00:24:56,960 --> 00:24:59,720
It's all a matter
of willpower!
362
00:24:59,761 --> 00:25:03,121
A test. Something small.
363
00:25:08,641 --> 00:25:13,161
Red. Red. All right?
Now focus.
364
00:25:13,202 --> 00:25:16,602
The color of this pen
is r-r-r-
365
00:25:19,442 --> 00:25:21,682
The color of this pen...
366
00:25:21,762 --> 00:25:24,562
is re-e-e-e-e-
367
00:25:24,603 --> 00:25:26,603
Re-e-e-e-
368
00:25:29,723 --> 00:25:33,683
The color of the pen
that I hold in my hand...
369
00:25:33,723 --> 00:25:36,563
is r-r-r-r-
370
00:25:36,604 --> 00:25:38,484
r-r-royal blue!
371
00:25:41,844 --> 00:25:44,724
One lie, and I can't say it!
372
00:25:45,844 --> 00:25:47,684
I'll write it.
373
00:26:14,007 --> 00:26:17,087
Write it! Write it,
or I'll break it off!
374
00:26:22,287 --> 00:26:26,167
Agh! No!
Come on! Stop it.
375
00:26:36,368 --> 00:26:38,728
Boss? What happened?
376
00:26:43,089 --> 00:26:46,369
The pen is blue.
The pen is blue!
377
00:26:46,449 --> 00:26:49,969
The goddamn pen is blue!
378
00:26:52,410 --> 00:26:54,210
Mr. Reede, are you all right?
379
00:26:54,330 --> 00:26:57,850
I gotta go home.
- Home? Was the case settled?
380
00:26:57,970 --> 00:27:00,530
No! I have to be
in court at 1:30!
381
00:27:00,610 --> 00:27:05,330
Then how are you going to go home?
- I don't know. I don't know.
382
00:27:05,371 --> 00:27:09,251
Okay. Uh, Mr. Reede,
Reuben and Dunn called.
383
00:27:09,331 --> 00:27:11,811
They need to know where the
Darby settlement offer stands.
384
00:27:11,891 --> 00:27:16,011
I just proposed a settlement
to dick with them!
385
00:27:17,252 --> 00:27:19,332
Dick with them.
Got it.
386
00:27:19,412 --> 00:27:23,412
And your mother called. Are you
still on vacation? - No.
387
00:27:23,452 --> 00:27:25,652
Then you're here?
- Yes.
388
00:27:25,692 --> 00:27:28,052
Thank you for clearing
that up, sir.
389
00:27:28,093 --> 00:27:31,293
And your ex-wife called.
She wants to know when you're
coming to pick up your son.
390
00:27:31,373 --> 00:27:35,493
Oh, I'm such a shit!
391
00:27:39,213 --> 00:27:41,573
Hello.
- Audrey?
392
00:27:41,654 --> 00:27:44,374
Fletcher, hi. Are you still picking
Max up from school today?
393
00:27:44,414 --> 00:27:46,414
Here's the thing.
I really can't!
394
00:27:46,454 --> 00:27:50,214
I had a case l was certain would settle,
and it didn't, and I have to go to court.
395
00:27:50,294 --> 00:27:53,654
Right. - It's true! I really
want to see Max today!
396
00:27:53,735 --> 00:27:55,575
I really do.
397
00:27:55,655 --> 00:27:58,335
Uh-huh, but things just keep coming up
at the last minute.
398
00:27:58,415 --> 00:28:01,335
Yes, but this time it's different.
- I see. How is that?
399
00:28:01,375 --> 00:28:05,175
Now I'm telling the truth.
- And last night you weren't.
Well, what were you doing?
400
00:28:05,256 --> 00:28:08,096
Having sex!
401
00:28:08,176 --> 00:28:11,136
Well, I hope that it was
with someone very special.
402
00:28:11,216 --> 00:28:14,256
No! That's the thing. I don't even
like her, but she's a partner.
403
00:28:14,296 --> 00:28:18,816
I thought l could help my career
by makin' her squeal.
404
00:28:22,337 --> 00:28:25,337
What's wrong with me?
405
00:28:25,417 --> 00:28:27,617
I'm getting what I deserve.
I'm reaping what I sow. I'm-
406
00:28:38,858 --> 00:28:41,978
ls Dad still picking me up?
- No, Max, he's not.
407
00:28:43,219 --> 00:28:46,019
I'm sorry, but l'm gonna
pick you up, okay?
408
00:28:46,099 --> 00:28:47,939
I'll work it out.
409
00:28:48,019 --> 00:28:49,899
I guess my wish
didn't come true.
410
00:28:49,979 --> 00:28:54,659
What wish? - I wished that for just
one day Dad couldn't tell a lie.
411
00:29:00,660 --> 00:29:02,500
Max?
412
00:29:05,020 --> 00:29:08,820
I have something important
to talk to you about, okay?
413
00:29:08,861 --> 00:29:11,061
Okay.
- Okay.
414
00:29:18,261 --> 00:29:22,341
Hello? - Audrey! Let me explain.
Something has happened to me.
415
00:29:22,422 --> 00:29:26,182
Well, something else is about to happen
to you. Max and I are moving to Boston.
416
00:29:26,262 --> 00:29:28,382
What?
- Jerry has asked me to marry him,
417
00:29:28,422 --> 00:29:30,982
and Max and I are going
this weekend to look at houses.
418
00:29:31,063 --> 00:29:32,863
I thought it was semiserious!
419
00:29:32,903 --> 00:29:35,583
It's just been given
a violent shove into serious.
420
00:29:35,663 --> 00:29:38,063
You can't move to Boston;
I'll never see Max!
421
00:29:38,143 --> 00:29:41,423
You'll have the same relationship
you have with him now, won't you?
422
00:29:41,503 --> 00:29:43,183
Where are you?
- I'm going home.
423
00:29:43,264 --> 00:29:46,384
When you get there, just stay there.
I'm comin' over. We have to talk.
424
00:29:46,464 --> 00:29:50,544
Fletcher!
- I'll be right there.
425
00:29:50,624 --> 00:29:53,784
Hey, Mr. Reede-
426
00:30:01,905 --> 00:30:04,905
Fletcher.
- Holy hell!
427
00:30:08,746 --> 00:30:11,906
You can run,
but you can't hide.
428
00:30:16,546 --> 00:30:18,626
What's your problem, schmuck?
429
00:30:18,666 --> 00:30:21,906
I'm an inconsiderate prick!
430
00:30:44,028 --> 00:30:45,868
Oh, shit!
431
00:30:50,349 --> 00:30:52,389
Shit!
432
00:30:59,350 --> 00:31:02,870
You know why I pulled you over? - Depends
on how long you were following me!
433
00:31:04,070 --> 00:31:07,190
Why don't we take it from the top?
- Here goes.
434
00:31:07,270 --> 00:31:09,190
I sped, l followed too closely,
I ran a stop sign,
435
00:31:09,270 --> 00:31:13,110
I almost hit a Chevy, l sped
some more, I failed to yield,
436
00:31:13,191 --> 00:31:17,031
I changed lanes without
signaling while speeding!
437
00:31:17,111 --> 00:31:20,391
Is that all?
- No.
438
00:31:22,432 --> 00:31:25,152
I have unpaid parking tickets.
439
00:31:27,152 --> 00:31:29,032
Be gentle.
440
00:31:32,592 --> 00:31:34,512
Audrey! Wait!
441
00:31:37,473 --> 00:31:40,873
Wait, Audrey. Ooh!
Hold on. Wait!
442
00:31:40,913 --> 00:31:45,073
Wait. I just had an insight
into myself. I'm crazy.
443
00:31:45,153 --> 00:31:48,553
You call and say,
Wait, I'll be right over,
444
00:31:48,634 --> 00:31:51,114
and here's the crazy part-
I actually wait.
445
00:31:51,154 --> 00:31:55,034
I can explain this.
- I have missed a department meeting.
446
00:31:55,114 --> 00:31:56,994
Did you come in a cab?
- Yes!
447
00:31:57,034 --> 00:32:00,034
Where's your car?
448
00:32:00,075 --> 00:32:03,435
Thank you! I can't tell you
how much this means to me.
449
00:32:03,515 --> 00:32:08,635
I can. $1,654.11.
- How do you sleep at night?
450
00:32:12,076 --> 00:32:15,036
I'm takin' this.
451
00:32:23,516 --> 00:32:25,716
You scratched my car!
452
00:32:25,797 --> 00:32:29,997
Where?
- Right there!
453
00:32:31,037 --> 00:32:34,357
Oh, there.
That was already there.
454
00:32:34,437 --> 00:32:37,357
Why, you!
455
00:32:37,398 --> 00:32:39,278
You liar!
456
00:32:40,478 --> 00:32:42,518
-You know what I'm gonna
do about this? -What?
457
00:32:42,598 --> 00:32:46,198
Nothing! Because if I take you to court,
it'll drain eight hours out of my life,
458
00:32:46,278 --> 00:32:49,758
and you won't show up, and if I got
the judgement, you'd just stiff me anyway!
459
00:32:49,839 --> 00:32:53,839
So I'm gonna piss and moan
like an impotent jerk...
460
00:32:53,879 --> 00:32:57,199
and then bend over and
take it up the tailpipe!
461
00:32:57,279 --> 00:33:00,239
You been here before,
haven't ya?
462
00:33:00,279 --> 00:33:02,919
Well, I can't remember
when I've had more fun,
463
00:33:02,960 --> 00:33:05,040
but if you'll excuse me,
I have a class.
464
00:33:05,080 --> 00:33:06,960
Are you marrying this guy
because you're mad at me?
465
00:33:07,040 --> 00:33:09,360
No, I divorced you
because I was mad at you.
466
00:33:09,400 --> 00:33:12,560
Wait. I want to talk about this!
- What do you want to say?
467
00:33:12,640 --> 00:33:15,400
Is this guy right for you?
He is so... not me!
468
00:33:15,441 --> 00:33:20,321
That's one of his best qualities.
- But he's kind of a magoo.
469
00:33:20,401 --> 00:33:24,761
I'm sorry. - You're wrong.
Sometimes maybe he is a little-
470
00:33:24,841 --> 00:33:28,241
Magoo!
- Yes. But since we've been going out-
471
00:33:28,282 --> 00:33:31,202
My God, I'm not having this conversation
with you. - Audrey, you can't go.
472
00:33:31,282 --> 00:33:33,602
This is not fair.
- Fair?
473
00:33:33,682 --> 00:33:38,322
Okay, let's define fair. Last night
a five-year-old boy was crushed...
474
00:33:38,402 --> 00:33:41,882
because his father lied to him
about coming to his birthday party.
475
00:33:41,963 --> 00:33:43,803
Fair?
- Last night-
476
00:33:43,883 --> 00:33:46,683
Was none of my business. None
of my business. - Thank you.
477
00:33:46,763 --> 00:33:50,043
Two years ago, it was my business.
But I don't have to care anymore.
478
00:33:50,123 --> 00:33:53,683
That's the magic of divorce.
But it matters to Max!
479
00:33:53,724 --> 00:33:56,844
Everything you do matters,
and everything you don't do.
480
00:33:56,884 --> 00:33:58,764
All right.
Now let me tell you something.
481
00:33:58,804 --> 00:34:00,684
I'm a bad father!
482
00:34:03,725 --> 00:34:05,565
I mean-
483
00:34:10,725 --> 00:34:13,205
I'm a bad father.
484
00:34:14,645 --> 00:34:18,845
You're not a bad father...
when you show up.
485
00:34:18,926 --> 00:34:21,566
What if I come right after court
and play ball?
486
00:34:21,646 --> 00:34:24,726
Then you and I can talk before
you make any rash decisions!
487
00:34:24,766 --> 00:34:26,966
No, we are leaving tonight.
488
00:34:27,006 --> 00:34:29,646
Please, Audrey.
Give me one more chance.
489
00:34:29,687 --> 00:34:32,007
I'm throwin' myself
on the mercy of the court.
490
00:34:32,087 --> 00:34:37,047
I lost you, but please
don't make me lose Max too.
491
00:34:39,247 --> 00:34:43,007
Give me a chance to be
the father I started out to be.
492
00:34:48,648 --> 00:34:51,768
You're really coming?
- This is ironclad.
493
00:34:51,848 --> 00:34:54,808
This is the mother of all promises.
What time?
494
00:34:54,929 --> 00:34:56,729
Okay, 6:00.
495
00:34:56,849 --> 00:34:59,729
Ten to six.
- All right.
496
00:34:59,769 --> 00:35:03,089
All right. But if I tell
Max that you're coming,
497
00:35:03,129 --> 00:35:06,289
and you don't show up and I have
to see that look on his face-
498
00:35:06,330 --> 00:35:08,650
that heartbreaking look-
499
00:35:08,690 --> 00:35:10,570
we're going to Boston.
500
00:35:10,610 --> 00:35:14,010
If I don't show up,
I'll pack you myself.
501
00:35:14,090 --> 00:35:17,210
I will lovingly wrap your
nicknacks with bubble paper.
502
00:35:17,290 --> 00:35:19,130
I hope so.
503
00:35:20,851 --> 00:35:24,011
Do you know what your son was doing
at 8:15 last night?
504
00:35:24,051 --> 00:35:27,491
He was making a birthday wish
that for just one day...
505
00:35:27,571 --> 00:35:30,411
his father couldn't tell a lie.
506
00:35:35,132 --> 00:35:38,412
Oh, my God!
That's it!
507
00:35:38,812 --> 00:35:40,972
l do not like them, Sam I Am.
508
00:35:41,012 --> 00:35:43,612
l do not like green eggs and ham.
509
00:35:43,693 --> 00:35:46,213
Would you like them here or there?
510
00:35:46,293 --> 00:35:48,973
I would not like them-
- Excuse me.
511
00:35:49,013 --> 00:35:53,253
Hi. I'm Max's bad father-
Er, I'm his father.
512
00:35:53,333 --> 00:35:57,493
Dad! - Could I borrow him
for just one second?
513
00:35:57,534 --> 00:36:01,974
Monster Max!
- You came to play catch?
514
00:36:02,054 --> 00:36:04,654
I'd like to, but I can't.
I gotta talk to you.
515
00:36:04,694 --> 00:36:08,854
Your mommy told me about that wish
you made last night. It came true, Max.
516
00:36:08,895 --> 00:36:11,815
Really? You mean you have to tell
the truth? - Yes.
517
00:36:11,895 --> 00:36:13,975
No matter what?
- No matter what!
518
00:36:14,015 --> 00:36:17,135
Is wrestling real? - In the Olympics,
yes. On channel 23, no.
519
00:36:17,175 --> 00:36:21,055
Will sitting too close to the TV set make
me go blind? - Not in a million years.
520
00:36:21,136 --> 00:36:24,056
If I keep making this face,
will it get stuck that way?
521
00:36:24,136 --> 00:36:27,016
Uh-uh. In fact some people
make a good living that way.
522
00:36:29,816 --> 00:36:32,736
Now listen, Max.
You've gotta do something for me.
523
00:36:32,817 --> 00:36:35,337
I need you to take back that wish.
524
00:36:35,417 --> 00:36:37,857
So you can lie?
- Yes.
525
00:36:37,937 --> 00:36:41,417
But not to you.
You see, Max,
526
00:36:41,497 --> 00:36:45,577
sometimes grownups need to lie.
527
00:36:46,658 --> 00:36:49,858
It's hard to explain,
but if-
528
00:36:49,938 --> 00:36:52,978
Look, here's a good example.
When your mommy was pregnant with you,
529
00:36:53,018 --> 00:36:55,738
she gained 40 pounds;
there was nothing she wouldn't eat.
530
00:36:55,818 --> 00:36:58,218
And Daddy was scared.
But when she'd ask me, "How do I look?"
531
00:36:58,299 --> 00:37:02,539
l'd say, "Honey, you look great.
You're glowing. "
532
00:37:02,619 --> 00:37:05,259
lf I had told Mommy she looked like
a cow, it would have hurt her feelings.
533
00:37:05,339 --> 00:37:08,899
Understand? - My teacher tells me
real beauty's on the inside.
534
00:37:08,979 --> 00:37:12,219
That's just something
ugly people say.
535
00:37:12,260 --> 00:37:15,980
Max, no one can survive in the adult
world if they have to stick to the truth.
536
00:37:16,060 --> 00:37:19,860
I could lose my case, l could lose
my promotion, I could even lose my job.
537
00:37:19,900 --> 00:37:21,780
Now, I need your help, Max.
538
00:37:21,820 --> 00:37:24,100
Okay.
539
00:37:24,181 --> 00:37:28,221
Okay. Do whatever
you did last night,
540
00:37:28,261 --> 00:37:32,421
only this time,
make it an "unwish."
541
00:37:40,462 --> 00:37:42,302
I did it.
542
00:37:42,382 --> 00:37:44,542
Excellent!
543
00:37:44,622 --> 00:37:47,102
Now, I just need
a little test.
544
00:38:04,984 --> 00:38:08,464
-Did it work?
-Not like l'd hoped. Did you unwish it?
545
00:38:08,544 --> 00:38:11,544
Only-
- What? Only what?
546
00:38:11,585 --> 00:38:14,905
Yesterday, when I wished it,
I really meant it.
547
00:38:14,945 --> 00:38:18,345
This time when I unwished it,
I only did it 'cause you told me to.
548
00:38:19,545 --> 00:38:21,425
All right.
Do it again.
549
00:38:21,505 --> 00:38:23,345
And this time, mean it.
550
00:38:23,425 --> 00:38:25,785
But I can't!
- Why not?
551
00:38:25,826 --> 00:38:29,026
'Cause I don't want you to lie.
- I explained this.
552
00:38:29,066 --> 00:38:32,346
I have to lie.
Everybody lies.
553
00:38:32,386 --> 00:38:35,666
Mommy lies.
Even the wonderful Jerry lies.
554
00:38:35,746 --> 00:38:38,626
But you're the only one
that makes me feel bad.
555
00:38:38,667 --> 00:38:42,347
Max, recess is over.
556
00:38:42,427 --> 00:38:44,547
Come on in!
557
00:38:48,267 --> 00:38:50,147
Mom says we're moving to Boston.
558
00:38:50,188 --> 00:38:53,468
That isn't for sure yet.
559
00:38:53,508 --> 00:38:56,108
She promised we'd talk
about it tonight.
560
00:38:57,148 --> 00:38:58,988
I am comin'!
561
00:38:59,068 --> 00:39:01,228
You believe me,
don't you, Max?
562
00:39:02,269 --> 00:39:05,029
I'll see you later, buddy.
563
00:39:14,270 --> 00:39:17,990
Fletcher. How's it hangin'? - Short,
shriveled and always to the left.
564
00:39:21,990 --> 00:39:25,350
Boss, it's Skull.
He knocked over another A.T.M.
565
00:39:25,390 --> 00:39:28,910
This time at knife-point.
He needs your legal advice.
566
00:39:32,871 --> 00:39:36,431
Stop breakin' the law, asshole!
567
00:39:44,032 --> 00:39:45,872
Boss, are you all right?
568
00:39:45,952 --> 00:39:48,272
My son hates me.
569
00:39:49,672 --> 00:39:54,032
Max loves you.
I've seen you together. You're his hero.
570
00:39:54,113 --> 00:39:57,313
Oh, yeah?
571
00:39:57,353 --> 00:40:00,713
Last night at his birthday
party, he made a wish...
572
00:40:00,753 --> 00:40:03,953
that I wouldn't be able
to lie for one whole day.
573
00:40:04,034 --> 00:40:06,434
Kids.
- It came true.
574
00:40:06,474 --> 00:40:09,994
What?
- Max's wish!
575
00:40:10,034 --> 00:40:12,394
It came true.
576
00:40:17,915 --> 00:40:20,875
Boss, maybe you should
just take a few days off.
577
00:40:20,915 --> 00:40:25,115
Greta! Didn't it seem weird to you that
I kept tellin' the truth all morning?
578
00:40:25,195 --> 00:40:27,035
Well, yeah. But-
579
00:40:28,956 --> 00:40:32,396
What are you saying?
That you are incapable of lying?
580
00:40:32,436 --> 00:40:35,476
That's right!
I am incapable of lying!
581
00:40:35,556 --> 00:40:39,756
Just for today?
- Apparently. 'Til 8:15 tonight.
582
00:40:39,836 --> 00:40:41,796
It's one of those
24-hour curses.
583
00:40:41,837 --> 00:40:43,717
Those are goin' around.
584
00:40:43,757 --> 00:40:46,037
You don't believe me, do you?
- Of course not.
585
00:40:46,117 --> 00:40:49,597
How ironic!
586
00:40:49,677 --> 00:40:53,477
Okay. Ask me something
you think I would normally lie about.
587
00:40:53,518 --> 00:40:57,198
All right. Remember a couple
of months ago when I wanted a raise?
588
00:40:57,238 --> 00:41:00,318
I don't want to do this. - And
the company wouldn't give me one...
589
00:41:00,398 --> 00:41:03,598
and I asked if you would give it
to me out of your own pocket...
590
00:41:03,638 --> 00:41:07,718
And you said the company would not allow
it, because it would create jealousy...
591
00:41:07,759 --> 00:41:09,839
among the other secretaries.
592
00:41:09,879 --> 00:41:14,639
Was that true, or did you just
not want to pony up the dough?
593
00:41:16,279 --> 00:41:18,959
Greta, please!
594
00:41:19,040 --> 00:41:23,280
Judge Stevens, hi! Fletcher Reede. I'm
scheduled in your court in half an hour.
595
00:41:23,320 --> 00:41:26,960
Judge Stevens, I badly, badly
need a continuance. Ill?
596
00:41:27,000 --> 00:41:30,800
Am I ill? That is
the perfect question for you to ask.
597
00:41:30,841 --> 00:41:33,721
Please lie for me!
- I remember when you bought me this...
598
00:41:33,801 --> 00:41:36,801
antique frame from Tiffany's-
Tiffany's?
599
00:41:36,881 --> 00:41:40,241
Garage sale. Six-fifty,
marked down from ten.
600
00:41:42,602 --> 00:41:44,962
I'll give you the raise!
601
00:41:46,002 --> 00:41:47,882
Here's your raise.
602
00:41:47,922 --> 00:41:52,722
Hi, Judge Stevens!
I know l haven't given you an answer.
603
00:41:52,802 --> 00:41:55,682
But illness could mean so many things.
604
00:41:55,763 --> 00:41:58,003
Can you hold?
Hello? Mom!
605
00:41:58,043 --> 00:42:01,563
Hi! I wasn't really
on vacation.
606
00:42:01,643 --> 00:42:04,803
Because I didn't want
to talk to you!
607
00:42:04,883 --> 00:42:08,563
Because you insist on talking about Dad's
bowel movements- size, color, frequency!
608
00:42:08,644 --> 00:42:11,284
I'll call you later!
Hello?
609
00:42:11,364 --> 00:42:13,964
Oh, damn it!
I cut him off.
610
00:42:14,004 --> 00:42:16,724
I cut off the judge!
611
00:42:20,925 --> 00:42:23,805
Greta! Don't leave!
612
00:42:23,845 --> 00:42:26,645
I'm on my knees
in a 900$ dollars suit!
613
00:42:28,325 --> 00:42:33,085
Mr. Reede. Several years ago,
a friend had a burglar on her roof.
614
00:42:33,166 --> 00:42:37,846
He fell through the skylight, landed on
a butcher's knife, cutting his leg.
615
00:42:37,886 --> 00:42:41,206
The burglar sued my friend.
He sued my friend!
616
00:42:41,286 --> 00:42:43,406
Because of guys like you, he won!
617
00:42:43,446 --> 00:42:47,726
My friend had to pay the burglar $6,000.
Is that justice?
618
00:42:47,767 --> 00:42:51,007
No. I'd have got him ten.
619
00:42:52,367 --> 00:42:54,647
Good-bye, Mr. Reede.
- No, wait!
620
00:42:54,647 --> 00:42:56,567
I didn't understand!
Ask me again!
621
00:42:56,968 --> 00:42:59,888
Have a nice day in court.
- Greta!
622
00:43:01,008 --> 00:43:03,568
Hi.
- God in heaven!
623
00:43:03,648 --> 00:43:05,928
It's nice to see you too,
Fletcher. Are you busy?
624
00:43:05,968 --> 00:43:09,648
Extremely.
- Good. Would you follow me, please?
625
00:43:13,329 --> 00:43:17,009
Did you know that the partnership
committee is headed by Mr. Allan himself?
626
00:43:17,089 --> 00:43:20,209
You used to work
directly for Mr. Allan.
627
00:43:20,249 --> 00:43:23,649
Yeah.
- Tell me. What do you think of him?
628
00:43:23,730 --> 00:43:27,570
He's a pedantic,
pontificating, pretentious bastard!
629
00:43:27,650 --> 00:43:32,250
A belligerent old fart! A steaming pile
of cow dung! Figuratively speaking.
630
00:43:32,330 --> 00:43:35,290
Really? How delightful.
This way.
631
00:43:37,211 --> 00:43:42,611
Pardon me for interrupting.
Mr. Allan, you remember Fletcher Reede?
632
00:43:42,691 --> 00:43:45,651
Oh, yes! Nice to
see you again, Fletcher.
633
00:43:45,691 --> 00:43:48,611
I'll be observing you
in court this afternoon.
634
00:43:48,692 --> 00:43:51,452
I've been hearing
some good things about you.
635
00:43:51,532 --> 00:43:56,252
Well, Fletcher has just been telling me
how much he thinks of you.
636
00:43:56,332 --> 00:44:00,532
Why don't you tell Mr. Allan?
Well, what do you think of him?
637
00:44:06,893 --> 00:44:11,093
He's a pedantic, pontificating,
pretentious bastard.
638
00:44:11,134 --> 00:44:16,134
A belligerent old fart.
A worthless, steaming pile of cow dung.
639
00:44:16,214 --> 00:44:19,374
Figuratively speaking.
640
00:44:39,296 --> 00:44:41,576
That's the funniest damn thing
I've ever heard!
641
00:44:41,656 --> 00:44:44,376
You're a real card, Reede!
642
00:44:44,456 --> 00:44:46,736
I love a good roast!
643
00:44:47,736 --> 00:44:50,096
Do Simmons!
644
00:44:50,137 --> 00:44:52,217
Simmons is old!
645
00:44:52,257 --> 00:44:56,777
He should have been out years ago, but
he can't stay home 'cause he hates his wife!
646
00:44:58,497 --> 00:45:00,937
You've met her
at the Christmas parties.
647
00:45:01,018 --> 00:45:04,218
She's the one that gets plastered
and calls him a retard.
648
00:45:04,258 --> 00:45:08,298
And you, Tom. You're the biggest
brownnose I've ever seen!
649
00:45:08,378 --> 00:45:13,018
You've got your head so far up
Mr. Allan's ass, I can't tell
where you end and he begins!
650
00:45:13,058 --> 00:45:15,178
Priceless!
651
00:45:16,819 --> 00:45:19,939
You have bad breath
caused by gingivitis.
652
00:45:20,019 --> 00:45:24,419
You couldn't get a porn star
off. Your hairpiece looks like
something that was killed.
653
00:45:24,499 --> 00:45:29,059
I don't know whether to comb it
or scrape it off and bury it in lime!
654
00:45:29,140 --> 00:45:33,380
Loser! Idiot!
Wimp! Degenerate!
655
00:45:33,460 --> 00:45:36,220
Slut!
656
00:45:37,820 --> 00:45:42,060
I like your style, Reede!
That's what this stuffy company needs!
657
00:45:42,141 --> 00:45:46,341
A little irreverence!
- Good! I'll see you later, dick-head!
658
00:45:47,341 --> 00:45:49,821
Dick-head!
Priceless!
659
00:46:05,983 --> 00:46:08,863
Keep your eye on that boy.
660
00:46:08,943 --> 00:46:11,423
Dick-head!
661
00:46:29,105 --> 00:46:33,185
Third District Court is now in session.
662
00:46:33,265 --> 00:46:37,505
The honorable
Judge Marshall Stevens presiding.
663
00:46:37,825 --> 00:46:41,985
Afternoon, Counselors.
Are we ready to begin?
664
00:46:42,066 --> 00:46:44,626
No, sir!
We are not ready to begin...
665
00:46:44,706 --> 00:46:46,906
because my client
has not arrived!
666
00:46:46,986 --> 00:46:48,826
Hurry up!
Move it, move it!
667
00:46:48,906 --> 00:46:51,826
Here she comes
to wreck the day
668
00:46:51,906 --> 00:46:54,626
Mr. Reede!
- Sorry, Your Honor.
669
00:46:54,667 --> 00:46:56,747
Go, go, go. Lupe,
you keep those kids quiet.
670
00:46:56,787 --> 00:46:58,827
I'm not even close to kidding.
- S�, se�ora.
671
00:46:58,867 --> 00:47:02,187
Sorry.
Billy threw up in the car.
672
00:47:02,227 --> 00:47:04,667
You brought your kids
to your divorce?
673
00:47:04,748 --> 00:47:06,828
Sympathy.
- Well, it's working.
674
00:47:06,868 --> 00:47:08,908
I feel sorry for them already.
675
00:47:08,948 --> 00:47:11,308
Miss Appleton, you may begin.
676
00:47:11,348 --> 00:47:13,908
From March 6 through June 12...
677
00:47:13,988 --> 00:47:17,148
I surveilled Mrs. Cole
at the behest of Mr. Cole.
678
00:47:17,229 --> 00:47:19,789
During that period,
I noted that Mr. Cole...
679
00:47:19,869 --> 00:47:22,869
Ieft each day
between 7:40 and 7:50.
680
00:47:22,949 --> 00:47:26,389
Thereafter Mrs. Cole
would frequently have...
681
00:47:26,469 --> 00:47:30,349
a male visitor arrive and stay
from one to four hours.
682
00:47:30,390 --> 00:47:34,870
I was able to take several photographs
of the male visitor.
683
00:47:34,950 --> 00:47:37,390
I see.
684
00:47:37,430 --> 00:47:41,390
Do you know what Mrs. Cole
and her male visitor did...
685
00:47:41,430 --> 00:47:44,390
during these frequent... visits?
686
00:47:44,431 --> 00:47:47,711
Well, they were pretty good
about keeping the shades drawn,
687
00:47:47,791 --> 00:47:52,231
but I was able to make
a recording of one such session.
688
00:47:53,591 --> 00:47:55,711
Your Honor,
as you are aware,
689
00:47:55,792 --> 00:47:58,112
under the terms
of the prenuptial agreement,
690
00:47:58,192 --> 00:48:01,832
if Mrs. Cole commits adultery,
she is entitled to nothing.
691
00:48:01,872 --> 00:48:05,632
With your permission, we'd like to play
the following tape recording.
692
00:48:10,193 --> 00:48:12,553
Here comes big daddy!
693
00:48:12,593 --> 00:48:15,713
Oh, God! Do it to me!
694
00:48:15,793 --> 00:48:19,393
Do it to me! Harder! Harder!
695
00:48:24,674 --> 00:48:26,754
Oh, come on!
696
00:48:26,834 --> 00:48:32,154
Your Honor, how can it be proved
that the male voice on that tape
is not Mr. Cole himself?
697
00:48:32,235 --> 00:48:36,195
You are such a better lover
than my husband!
698
00:48:36,275 --> 00:48:39,635
Your Honor, I object!
- And why is that, Mr. Reede?
699
00:48:39,675 --> 00:48:42,515
It's devastating to my case!
- Overruled.
700
00:48:42,555 --> 00:48:44,555
Good call!
701
00:48:44,596 --> 00:48:47,996
I gotta go. I haven't cleaned your pool.
- Your witness.
702
00:48:48,076 --> 00:48:50,916
All right.
703
00:48:50,996 --> 00:48:53,956
Well, Mr. Reede,
you may proceed.
704
00:48:59,197 --> 00:49:01,077
How?
705
00:49:24,359 --> 00:49:27,719
Your Honor, would the court be willing
to grant me a short bathroom break?
706
00:49:27,799 --> 00:49:30,519
Can't it wait?
- Yes, it can.
707
00:49:30,599 --> 00:49:33,839
But I've heard that if you hold it,
it can damage the prostate gland,
708
00:49:33,880 --> 00:49:36,360
making it very difficult
to get an erection!
709
00:49:36,440 --> 00:49:39,120
Is that true?
- It has to be.
710
00:49:39,160 --> 00:49:42,000
Well, in that case, I better
take a little break myself.
711
00:49:42,040 --> 00:49:45,240
But you get back here immediately
so we can finish this.
712
00:50:01,242 --> 00:50:05,282
How am I going
to get out of this?
713
00:50:06,522 --> 00:50:09,882
Think. Think.
714
00:50:09,922 --> 00:50:13,722
Think!
715
00:51:07,127 --> 00:51:09,447
What the hell
are you doing?
716
00:51:10,567 --> 00:51:14,287
I'm kicking my ass!
Do you mind?
717
00:51:38,050 --> 00:51:40,930
I found him like this
in the bathroom, Your Honor.
718
00:51:41,010 --> 00:51:42,890
Somebody beat the hell out of him.
719
00:51:42,970 --> 00:51:45,770
Who did this?
- A madman, Your Honor!
720
00:51:45,850 --> 00:51:48,930
A desperate fool at the end
of his pitiful rope!
721
00:51:49,010 --> 00:51:51,050
What did he look like?
722
00:51:51,131 --> 00:51:54,251
About 6'2", 180 pounds,
big teeth, kind of gangly.
723
00:51:54,331 --> 00:51:56,731
Bailiff, have the deputy
search the building.
724
00:51:56,771 --> 00:51:59,171
Yes, sir.
725
00:51:59,251 --> 00:52:01,691
Order! Order!
726
00:52:06,052 --> 00:52:09,372
Under the circumstances, I have
no choice but to recess this case...
727
00:52:09,412 --> 00:52:12,332
until 9:00 a. m.
tomorrow morning.
728
00:52:12,412 --> 00:52:15,492
Unless, of course, you feel
you can still proceed.
729
00:52:19,133 --> 00:52:21,373
Can you?
730
00:52:25,613 --> 00:52:30,053
Yes, I can.
731
00:52:30,134 --> 00:52:32,934
I admire your courage, Mr. Reede.
732
00:52:33,014 --> 00:52:35,574
We'll take a short recess
so that you can compose yourself,
733
00:52:35,614 --> 00:52:37,694
and then we'll get started.
734
00:52:47,135 --> 00:52:49,015
Here you go.
735
00:52:57,816 --> 00:53:01,816
Hello?
736
00:53:01,856 --> 00:53:05,376
Dad?
- Max? How's it goin'?
737
00:53:05,417 --> 00:53:07,897
Great. You know Paul and Emanuel
from across the street?
738
00:53:07,937 --> 00:53:11,537
Yeah. Uh-huh. - Well, they never
want to play baseball with me.
739
00:53:11,617 --> 00:53:13,857
But I told them I'm playing
tonight with my dad.
740
00:53:13,897 --> 00:53:16,097
So now they want to play.
Is that okay?
741
00:53:16,137 --> 00:53:19,017
Sure. The more the merrier.
742
00:53:19,098 --> 00:53:21,098
Coolest! Do you wanna be
Jose Canseco?
743
00:53:21,178 --> 00:53:25,738
Oh, yeah. Who else is gonna hit
that famous Nomo slider?
744
00:53:25,818 --> 00:53:29,058
Mr. Reede.
- I gotta go now, Max.
745
00:53:29,139 --> 00:53:33,859
I'll see you
in a couple hours. Okay? Bye.
- Bye, Dad.
746
00:53:34,939 --> 00:53:38,219
He's really coming!
I'm gonna go change.
747
00:53:38,299 --> 00:53:40,259
Okay, go ahead!
- Yeah!
748
00:53:44,820 --> 00:53:46,900
Mr. Reede!
749
00:53:46,980 --> 00:53:51,020
Mr. Reede! Mr. -
750
00:53:51,100 --> 00:53:53,300
This is my lawyer.
He's a little unorthodox.
751
00:53:55,901 --> 00:53:58,941
Mr. Reede, you remember Kenneth Falk,
the man from the tape.
752
00:53:58,981 --> 00:54:01,501
How could I forget?
- Hey, how you doin'?
753
00:54:01,541 --> 00:54:04,581
I've slipped into the seventh
circle of hell! Thank you.
754
00:54:04,621 --> 00:54:07,501
You? - Shouldn't we be going
over our testimony right now?
755
00:54:07,582 --> 00:54:10,342
Basically, the plan is,
I walk you through the tape.
756
00:54:10,422 --> 00:54:12,502
Step-by-step,
I ask you questions.
757
00:54:12,582 --> 00:54:16,302
And we give the explanation
you came up with. - Exactly.
758
00:54:16,382 --> 00:54:18,422
All we gotta do is lie.
That sounds simple enough.
759
00:54:18,502 --> 00:54:20,462
Doesn't it!
760
00:54:20,543 --> 00:54:23,303
Then I'll finish up
with dramatic questions.
761
00:54:23,343 --> 00:54:28,783
Something like: Mr. Falk, isn't it true
that you and Mrs. Cole...
762
00:54:28,863 --> 00:54:32,663
have never made...
763
00:54:36,384 --> 00:54:40,704
Ugh! Oh, God!
I can't do it.
764
00:54:40,744 --> 00:54:44,704
I can't finish the question
if I know the answer is a lie.
765
00:54:58,506 --> 00:55:02,266
You may proceed, Mr. Reede.
766
00:55:14,827 --> 00:55:18,347
Respondent calls...
767
00:55:18,427 --> 00:55:20,307
Kenneth Falk.
768
00:55:36,149 --> 00:55:38,029
Raise your right hand.
769
00:55:38,069 --> 00:55:41,949
Do you swear to tell the truth,
the whole truth and nothing but
the truth, so help you God?
770
00:55:42,029 --> 00:55:45,589
I do! I mean-
771
00:55:48,350 --> 00:55:50,990
I do.
772
00:55:56,230 --> 00:55:58,990
Mr. Falk.
773
00:56:01,991 --> 00:56:04,071
Do you know my client,
Samantha Cole?
774
00:56:04,111 --> 00:56:06,071
Yes.
775
00:56:09,551 --> 00:56:13,831
Isn't it true that your relationship
with my client is entirely platonic?
776
00:56:13,872 --> 00:56:15,832
I object, Your Honor!
777
00:56:15,912 --> 00:56:18,232
To yourself?
778
00:56:18,312 --> 00:56:20,352
Yeah.
779
00:56:20,432 --> 00:56:24,192
But I would like to...
rephrase the question.
780
00:56:26,633 --> 00:56:29,753
Mr. Falk, would I be accurate...
781
00:56:29,833 --> 00:56:34,353
if I described your relationship
with Mrs. Cole as totally professional?
782
00:56:34,393 --> 00:56:37,433
I object, Your Honor,
and I move to strike!
783
00:56:37,514 --> 00:56:39,994
Mr. Reede, I don't know
what you're on,
784
00:56:40,074 --> 00:56:43,434
but you better get
to the point and quick.
785
00:56:43,474 --> 00:56:45,674
Thank you, sir.
786
00:56:48,435 --> 00:56:51,835
Is your relationship
with my client entirely platonic?
787
00:56:51,915 --> 00:56:54,515
Not! Is not your relationship
with my client:
788
00:56:54,555 --> 00:56:57,715
Boink! Bad baby, bad baby!
789
00:56:57,755 --> 00:56:59,835
Did you ever not make lo-
790
00:56:59,916 --> 00:57:02,796
Did you-
- Mr. Reede!
791
00:57:02,836 --> 00:57:06,836
You had sex with her every time you met,
didn't you? Didn't you! Liar!
792
00:57:06,876 --> 00:57:08,956
He's badgering the witness.
- It's his witness.
793
00:57:09,036 --> 00:57:12,436
You slammed her! You dunked her donuts!
You gave her dog a "snaussage"!
794
00:57:12,477 --> 00:57:14,797
You stuffed her
like a Thanksgiving turkey!
795
00:57:17,237 --> 00:57:21,917
All right, it's true, okay! I humped
her brains out! There! Now you happy?
796
00:57:27,998 --> 00:57:30,198
No further questions.
797
00:57:48,319 --> 00:57:50,999
No questions.
798
00:57:51,040 --> 00:57:53,880
You may step down.
799
00:57:57,200 --> 00:58:00,360
Do I dare ask you
to call your next witness?
800
00:58:03,681 --> 00:58:06,321
I have no further witnesses,
Your Honor.
801
00:58:06,361 --> 00:58:09,161
What are you doing?
Call me!
802
00:58:09,241 --> 00:58:12,361
You do not understand.
I can't lie.
803
00:58:12,441 --> 00:58:15,241
I can't do anything dishonest
until 8:15 tonight!
804
00:58:15,322 --> 00:58:18,282
Listen, you bastard!
I want my money!
805
00:58:18,362 --> 00:58:21,562
I am not going to end up
a 31-year-old divorcee on welfare...
806
00:58:21,602 --> 00:58:25,082
because my scumbag attorney
had a sudden attack of conscience!
807
00:58:25,122 --> 00:58:27,562
Thirty-one?
808
00:58:27,643 --> 00:58:30,523
If Mr. Reede has
no further witnesses,
809
00:58:30,563 --> 00:58:32,923
then I have no choice
but to rule in favor of-
810
00:58:32,963 --> 00:58:34,803
Your Honor!
811
00:58:37,083 --> 00:58:39,803
I call Samantha Cole
to the stand.
812
00:58:39,844 --> 00:58:43,644
Order.
813
00:58:43,684 --> 00:58:46,484
Order! Order!
814
00:58:46,524 --> 00:58:48,844
Knock it off!
- Sit down!
815
00:58:50,644 --> 00:58:53,124
Mr. Reede, it is out of
sheer morbid curiosity...
816
00:58:53,205 --> 00:58:55,805
I'm allowing this...
freak show to continue.
817
00:58:58,805 --> 00:59:01,925
Mrs. Cole...
if you dare.
818
00:59:16,647 --> 00:59:19,247
Mrs. Cole...
819
00:59:19,287 --> 00:59:22,647
is this a copy
of your driver's license?
820
00:59:24,327 --> 00:59:27,447
Yes. - It says here
you're a blonde. Are you?
821
00:59:27,487 --> 00:59:30,287
If you don't remember,
perhaps Mr. Falk will.
822
00:59:30,328 --> 00:59:32,928
Brunette. - We can play the tape
again. Maybe it's on there.
823
00:59:33,008 --> 00:59:34,968
I'm a brunette!
824
00:59:35,008 --> 00:59:38,168
Thank you.
Now let's see.
825
00:59:38,248 --> 00:59:41,168
Weight: 105.
Yeah! In your bra.
826
00:59:41,209 --> 00:59:43,089
Your Honor, I object!
- You would!
827
00:59:43,129 --> 00:59:45,009
Bastard!
- Hag!
828
00:59:45,049 --> 00:59:47,889
Quiet! Overruled! Weight?
829
00:59:49,489 --> 00:59:51,569
One-eighteen.
830
00:59:51,609 --> 00:59:54,489
All right, fine, fine.
I'm 127.
831
00:59:54,530 --> 00:59:57,530
Uh-huh. And it says here
you were born in 1964,
832
00:59:57,570 --> 00:59:59,810
but that's not true
either, is it?
833
00:59:59,890 --> 01:00:01,730
Is it!
- No.
834
01:00:01,810 --> 01:00:05,530
Will you tell me what it says here on your
birth certificate under "date of birth"?
835
01:00:05,570 --> 01:00:08,050
Your Honor, what does this
have to do with anything?
836
01:00:08,091 --> 01:00:10,931
Overruled. Mrs. Cole,
answer the question.
837
01:00:10,971 --> 01:00:14,131
1965.
838
01:00:14,171 --> 01:00:17,531
Now let me get this straight.
839
01:00:17,571 --> 01:00:22,131
That would mean that you lied
about your age to make yourself older.
840
01:00:22,172 --> 01:00:26,372
But why would any woman
want to do that?
841
01:00:26,452 --> 01:00:28,892
I changed it
so I could get married.
842
01:00:28,932 --> 01:00:33,332
And the truth
shall set you free!
843
01:00:33,373 --> 01:00:36,013
My client lied about her age!
844
01:00:36,093 --> 01:00:39,333
She was only 17 when she got married,
which makes her a minor,
845
01:00:39,413 --> 01:00:41,693
and in the great
state of California,
846
01:00:41,773 --> 01:00:43,973
no minor can enter
into any legal contract...
847
01:00:44,054 --> 01:00:46,174
without parental consent,
including-
848
01:00:46,214 --> 01:00:48,094
Prenuptial agreements.
849
01:00:48,134 --> 01:00:51,014
Prenuptial agreements!
This contract is void!
850
01:00:51,094 --> 01:00:54,654
The fact that my client has been ridden
more than Seattle Slew is irrelevant.
851
01:00:54,694 --> 01:00:58,614
Standard Community Property applies, and she
is entitled to half of the marital assets,
852
01:00:58,655 --> 01:01:01,095
or $11.395 million!
853
01:01:01,175 --> 01:01:05,295
Jordan fades back. Swoosh!
And that's the game!
854
01:01:05,375 --> 01:01:08,375
Nothing further, Your Honor.
855
01:01:15,896 --> 01:01:19,016
Order. Order. Order!
856
01:01:21,337 --> 01:01:23,297
In light of this new evidence,
857
01:01:23,377 --> 01:01:25,817
the court must rule
in favor of Mrs. Cole.
858
01:01:25,857 --> 01:01:29,777
Yes! - She is hereby awarded
half the marital assets.
859
01:01:29,857 --> 01:01:33,657
The son of a bitch pulled it off!
860
01:01:33,698 --> 01:01:37,898
I didn't know! - It doesn't
matter. The contract's void.
861
01:01:37,978 --> 01:01:41,858
Order. Order.
862
01:01:41,898 --> 01:01:45,298
I understand both parties
have agreed to joint custody.
863
01:01:45,379 --> 01:01:46,859
Is that correct?
- Yes.
864
01:01:46,939 --> 01:01:48,339
Yes.
- No.
865
01:01:48,419 --> 01:01:50,259
I'm contesting custody.
866
01:01:50,339 --> 01:01:52,739
What?
- If I get sole custody,
867
01:01:52,819 --> 01:01:55,259
that's another ten grand
in child support payments.
868
01:01:55,299 --> 01:01:57,619
You just won $11 million!
869
01:01:57,700 --> 01:02:00,420
Hey, I'm the victim here.
You said it yourself.
870
01:02:00,500 --> 01:02:03,780
Now I'm gonna hit him
where it hurts.
871
01:02:03,860 --> 01:02:08,060
But you-
you said he was a good father.
872
01:02:08,100 --> 01:02:10,540
So?
873
01:02:12,261 --> 01:02:17,021
Well, Mr. Reede, do we have
an agreement on custody or not?
874
01:02:19,581 --> 01:02:21,421
No.
875
01:02:21,501 --> 01:02:24,261
I see.
876
01:02:24,302 --> 01:02:29,062
In that case, there will be a custody
hearing on the 19th at 9:00 a.m.
877
01:02:29,102 --> 01:02:31,342
Court is adjourned.
878
01:02:37,503 --> 01:02:39,783
Come on, let's go.
- Daddy!
879
01:02:39,823 --> 01:02:42,663
You stop that whining, or I'll
give you something to whine about!
880
01:02:42,703 --> 01:02:45,303
I wanna go with Daddy!
881
01:02:45,383 --> 01:02:48,103
Come here, kids. Come on.
It's all right. Don't you worry.
882
01:02:48,144 --> 01:02:51,184
I promise we'll be together,
whatever I have to do.
883
01:02:51,264 --> 01:02:53,224
It's okay. It's okay.
884
01:02:53,264 --> 01:02:56,184
Oh, for God's sake, will you
give me those? They're mine!
885
01:02:56,264 --> 01:02:59,064
Let go of Daddy! Let go of him!
Let go of Daddy!
886
01:02:59,144 --> 01:03:02,384
We're leaving now! Lupe, come on!
- S�, se�ora.
887
01:03:02,465 --> 01:03:06,505
Don't you have some checks to write?
You haven't paid for them yet.
888
01:03:17,706 --> 01:03:20,826
I love children.
889
01:03:20,906 --> 01:03:23,706
They give you so much leverage
in a case like this.
890
01:03:23,786 --> 01:03:27,946
You did an incredible job, partner.
891
01:03:27,987 --> 01:03:30,227
Look at him.
892
01:03:30,307 --> 01:03:32,667
He's stunned.
He can't believe it.
893
01:03:35,107 --> 01:03:38,307
Your Honor, may I please
approach the bench?
894
01:03:38,348 --> 01:03:40,628
We're adjourned, Mr. Reede.
895
01:03:40,708 --> 01:03:44,028
Your Honor, I think
we've made a big mistake.
896
01:03:44,108 --> 01:03:46,468
Mr. Reede, I am tired
and very cranky.
897
01:03:46,508 --> 01:03:50,148
I know, but this is
just... wrong, isn't it?
898
01:03:50,189 --> 01:03:52,229
I manipulated the system.
899
01:03:52,269 --> 01:03:56,069
Just because you bought it doesn't mean
I'm right. It's a technicality!
900
01:03:56,109 --> 01:03:59,149
Young man, having my judgement
mocked in my own court...
901
01:03:59,229 --> 01:04:01,469
is not something
I'm prepared to tolerate!
902
01:04:01,550 --> 01:04:05,670
Well, tell that to the kids when they're
adopted... by the Manson family!
903
01:04:05,710 --> 01:04:09,630
One more word out of you, Mr. Reede,
and I'll hold you in contempt!
904
01:04:09,710 --> 01:04:12,510
I hold myself in contempt!
905
01:04:12,590 --> 01:04:14,710
Why should you be any different?
906
01:04:14,791 --> 01:04:16,711
Bailiff, take him away!
907
01:04:16,751 --> 01:04:19,551
This man is a good father,
and children are not leverage!
908
01:04:19,631 --> 01:04:23,711
Oh, no, don't do this!
I have a date to play ball with my son!
909
01:04:23,791 --> 01:04:27,311
I can't be late!
It's my last chance!
910
01:04:27,392 --> 01:04:29,632
I'm Jose Canseco!
911
01:04:29,712 --> 01:04:32,952
I'm Jose Canseco!
912
01:04:35,792 --> 01:04:37,672
Phone call!
Phone call!
913
01:04:37,712 --> 01:04:40,552
I get a phone call!
I get a phone call!
914
01:04:40,593 --> 01:04:42,673
I get a phone call!
915
01:04:42,713 --> 01:04:45,113
Hello?
916
01:04:45,233 --> 01:04:47,713
Audrey, it's me.
Don't hang up!
917
01:04:47,793 --> 01:04:50,273
I can't talk right now.
Our flight leaves at 8:00.
918
01:04:50,353 --> 01:04:54,313
What? - I'm taking Max someplace
where you can't do this anymore.
919
01:04:54,354 --> 01:04:57,554
Audrey, wait! The most amazing
thing has happened to me.
920
01:04:57,594 --> 01:05:01,194
I'm a changed man! Just come to
the courthouse with $1,000 and bail me out.
921
01:05:01,234 --> 01:05:04,114
Hello? Hello?
922
01:05:04,195 --> 01:05:07,275
Time's up, pal. - No, just one
more call. Just one more call.
923
01:05:10,675 --> 01:05:13,395
Okay, let's go.
924
01:05:14,995 --> 01:05:16,875
Ready?
- Yeah.
925
01:05:16,916 --> 01:05:19,756
Will you get the door, please?
- Okay.
926
01:05:19,796 --> 01:05:21,996
Thank you.
927
01:05:22,036 --> 01:05:25,396
Mr. Reede, you made bail.
928
01:05:25,436 --> 01:05:28,436
Greta! Oh, thank God!
929
01:05:28,477 --> 01:05:31,957
Am I too late?
Have you been sexually molested yet?
930
01:05:32,037 --> 01:05:34,397
Because I could circle the block.
931
01:05:34,477 --> 01:05:36,717
How did you know I was here?
932
01:05:36,757 --> 01:05:38,957
One of the other secretaries
called me at home,
933
01:05:38,997 --> 01:05:41,357
said you went all noble
in front of Mr. Allan.
934
01:05:41,398 --> 01:05:43,598
Yeah, I think I'm fired.
Isn't that great?
935
01:05:43,638 --> 01:05:45,878
I'll start my own firm.
Do you need a job?
936
01:05:45,918 --> 01:05:48,358
I don't think
you can afford me.
937
01:05:51,478 --> 01:05:54,998
Oh, man, I gotta get my car.
Audrey's on her way to the airport.
938
01:05:55,039 --> 01:05:58,639
I could lose Max forever.
I can't let that happen. I love him!
939
01:05:58,679 --> 01:06:01,199
You know, this truth stuff
is pretty cool.
940
01:06:01,239 --> 01:06:05,119
I love my son!
I love my son!
941
01:06:05,199 --> 01:06:08,719
I love my son!
I love my son!
942
01:06:08,760 --> 01:06:12,320
Hey, need some change?
Take everything!
943
01:06:14,200 --> 01:06:16,080
But it's not gonna make you happy.
944
01:06:16,120 --> 01:06:18,480
I love my son!
945
01:06:18,521 --> 01:06:20,721
I love my son!
946
01:06:20,761 --> 01:06:23,441
I love my son!
947
01:06:24,601 --> 01:06:26,721
Hey, there you are!
948
01:06:26,801 --> 01:06:29,441
Hi.
- Just in time.
949
01:06:29,521 --> 01:06:32,401
Oh, this is the happiest moment
of my entire life.
950
01:06:32,442 --> 01:06:35,602
O-Oh! Well, m-me, m-mine-
951
01:06:35,642 --> 01:06:37,922
Well, ours... also.
952
01:06:38,002 --> 01:06:42,322
Hey, gipper. I have something
for you, young man.
953
01:06:42,362 --> 01:06:46,002
Ooh, watch yourself.
It's the claw!
954
01:06:46,043 --> 01:06:48,563
Ooh, the claw's comin' at ya.
955
01:06:48,563 --> 01:06:52,403
Ooh, you're scared of the claw.
You're scared of the claw.
956
01:06:52,483 --> 01:06:55,483
Jerry. Jerry.
- Huh?
957
01:06:55,564 --> 01:06:57,724
It's okay.
You don't have to-
958
01:06:57,804 --> 01:07:01,164
Tower Air flight 1511
to Boston is now boarding.
959
01:07:01,204 --> 01:07:03,084
Ooh, that's us.
- Yeah.
960
01:07:03,124 --> 01:07:05,684
Ready to go?
- Yes. You ready?
961
01:07:05,724 --> 01:07:07,804
Okay.
- Great.
962
01:07:07,885 --> 01:07:09,605
Jim Rubing, please report
to Airport Security.
963
01:07:15,805 --> 01:07:17,685
Excuse me!
964
01:07:17,765 --> 01:07:20,565
What gate is flight 1511 leaving from?
It's an emergency!
965
01:07:20,606 --> 01:07:23,806
Gate number 123,
but you'll never make it.
Flight's already boarding.
966
01:07:23,886 --> 01:07:26,526
It takes more than a half hour
to get through security.
967
01:07:26,606 --> 01:07:30,366
If you want to go to Boston,
there's another flight leaving
tomorrow morning at 7:00 a.m.
968
01:07:30,446 --> 01:07:32,606
Flight number one-twenty-
969
01:07:34,527 --> 01:07:37,447
Ladies and gentlemen,
welcome aboard flight 1511...
970
01:07:37,527 --> 01:07:39,647
from Los Angeles
to Boston's Logan Airport.
971
01:07:39,727 --> 01:07:43,327
We'll be departing shortly, and if you
need help stowing your carry-on items-
972
01:07:43,407 --> 01:07:45,207
Honey, can I help you?
- I'm fine.
973
01:07:45,248 --> 01:07:49,088
Are you sure?
- Jerry, I can open the bag!
974
01:07:50,488 --> 01:07:52,688
Would you like anything
to drink before takeoff?
975
01:07:52,728 --> 01:07:55,768
Yes. Anything
with alcohol, please.
976
01:07:55,808 --> 01:07:58,168
Audrey.
977
01:07:58,209 --> 01:08:01,849
If you'll focus on the screen,
we'll be running a safety video.
978
01:08:01,889 --> 01:08:03,969
How about that drink?
979
01:08:25,211 --> 01:08:28,411
Max! Max!
980
01:08:30,051 --> 01:08:32,851
Max!
981
01:08:32,891 --> 01:08:35,131
Wait!
982
01:08:38,532 --> 01:08:41,372
That oughta do it.
983
01:08:45,212 --> 01:08:47,692
Thanks! It's running great!
984
01:08:50,493 --> 01:08:52,733
Max!
985
01:08:56,413 --> 01:09:00,693
Hey! Max!
986
01:09:14,335 --> 01:09:17,215
Max! I'm coming!
987
01:09:26,856 --> 01:09:29,216
Max!
988
01:09:37,537 --> 01:09:40,617
Max! Max, where are you?
989
01:09:44,857 --> 01:09:46,697
I love you.
990
01:09:49,418 --> 01:09:51,378
Thank you.
991
01:09:51,458 --> 01:09:55,258
That wasn't exactly
the answer I was looking for.
992
01:09:55,298 --> 01:09:58,178
Thank you very much?
993
01:10:01,859 --> 01:10:04,499
I'm sorry. It's just-
- Too fast?
994
01:10:04,579 --> 01:10:06,859
It was too fast, wasn't it?
- No, i-it's-
995
01:10:06,939 --> 01:10:09,179
Chemistry?
Whatever it is, we can work on it.
996
01:10:09,219 --> 01:10:13,579
No, no, no. It's just that-
- Oh, my God, it's Fletcher!
997
01:10:13,660 --> 01:10:17,300
No, no, this has nothing to do with
Fletcher. - No, honey, it's Fletcher.
998
01:10:17,380 --> 01:10:20,460
What?
- Dad?
999
01:10:21,820 --> 01:10:25,460
I made it!
I'm late, but I made it!
1000
01:10:25,540 --> 01:10:28,180
What is he doing?
1001
01:10:28,261 --> 01:10:31,781
He came to see us off. Wave.
1002
01:10:35,141 --> 01:10:38,581
I won't let you go!
1003
01:10:44,622 --> 01:10:46,822
Oh, shit!
1004
01:10:51,663 --> 01:10:55,303
Control one-nine, this is
Tower 1511, heavy. Ready for takeoff.
1005
01:11:02,663 --> 01:11:04,863
What was that?
- Looked like a shoe.
1006
01:11:04,904 --> 01:11:07,064
Pull over!
1007
01:11:07,144 --> 01:11:09,584
Pull this thing over!
1008
01:11:09,664 --> 01:11:13,544
Control one-nine, some idiot
has hijacked a flight of stairs.
We're gonna stop this plane.
1009
01:11:13,584 --> 01:11:17,064
One-nine Control. We copy.
1010
01:11:21,145 --> 01:11:23,505
No-o-o-o-o!
1011
01:11:59,788 --> 01:12:02,188
You people are all doing
a wonderful job!
1012
01:12:02,228 --> 01:12:04,268
That's far enough, folks.
1013
01:12:04,348 --> 01:12:06,988
He's my husband-
was my husband.
1014
01:12:07,029 --> 01:12:08,949
All right, go ahead.
- Okay.
1015
01:12:09,029 --> 01:12:12,109
Max, you stay here with Jerry,
and I'll be right back, okay?
1016
01:12:14,949 --> 01:12:17,549
Audrey! Great news!
- Fletcher!
1017
01:12:17,590 --> 01:12:20,750
Both my legs are broken,
so they can't take me right to jail.
1018
01:12:20,790 --> 01:12:23,630
Fletcher, what were you doing?
Are you out of your mind?
1019
01:12:23,670 --> 01:12:28,390
No, I'm thinking clear.
I've never been this clear!
1020
01:12:28,430 --> 01:12:31,710
Dad?
- Creep.
1021
01:12:31,791 --> 01:12:35,231
He was getting kind of upset.
- Are you all right?
1022
01:12:35,311 --> 01:12:39,311
Yeah. I'm hurtin' here, though.
1023
01:12:39,391 --> 01:12:41,871
I'm a dope, Max.
1024
01:12:41,911 --> 01:12:44,271
All this time
you've been here...
1025
01:12:44,312 --> 01:12:47,032
and I could see you anytime,
but I didn't.
1026
01:12:47,112 --> 01:12:51,472
Then your mom told me you were moving
to Boston, and I started thinking.
1027
01:12:51,512 --> 01:12:54,032
I could be sitting around
sometime and...
1028
01:12:54,072 --> 01:12:58,552
want to look at you
and hold you and play with you,
1029
01:12:58,633 --> 01:13:01,713
and I won't be able to.
1030
01:13:01,753 --> 01:13:05,113
I don't think I'm gonna
do too well with that.
1031
01:13:06,753 --> 01:13:10,153
I love you more than anything else
in the world, Max,
1032
01:13:10,194 --> 01:13:12,434
and you know it's true.
1033
01:13:12,514 --> 01:13:15,434
I couldn't say it if it
wasn't true. Not today.
1034
01:13:17,434 --> 01:13:22,194
I love you, and I'll
never hurt you again.
1035
01:13:25,915 --> 01:13:28,715
He's telling the truth, Mom.
He's not allowed to lie.
1036
01:13:28,755 --> 01:13:32,475
I made a wish, and anything Dad
says today has to be the truth.
1037
01:13:32,556 --> 01:13:34,396
Max.
1038
01:13:35,476 --> 01:13:37,796
It's 8:45.
1039
01:13:37,876 --> 01:13:40,076
You made the wish at 8:15.
1040
01:13:40,116 --> 01:13:42,876
I've been able to lie
for the last half hour.
1041
01:13:42,956 --> 01:13:46,036
So you weren't-
- No, it was the truth!
1042
01:13:46,077 --> 01:13:48,437
I just wanted
to be honest with you.
1043
01:13:48,477 --> 01:13:50,837
I always want
to be honest with you.
1044
01:13:56,037 --> 01:14:00,077
Mom, do we have to go to Boston?
1045
01:14:05,078 --> 01:14:07,118
No, Max, you don't have to go.
1046
01:14:09,719 --> 01:14:12,679
I, on the other hand,
do have to.
1047
01:14:12,759 --> 01:14:15,479
A hospital to run.
1048
01:14:15,519 --> 01:14:19,519
That's an open-ended ticket
if you ever change your mind.
1049
01:14:19,599 --> 01:14:21,719
Thank you.
1050
01:14:27,400 --> 01:14:30,240
Looks like he's
got his father back.
1051
01:14:36,321 --> 01:14:42,041
Happy birthday, dear Maximus
1052
01:14:42,081 --> 01:14:48,281
Happy birthday to you
1053
01:14:48,282 --> 01:14:50,322
Okay, Max, make a wish.
1054
01:14:50,442 --> 01:14:53,842
Ahhh, wait! I don't know
if we should do this.
1055
01:14:53,962 --> 01:14:57,802
Oh, Fletcher, come on. What are
the odds of that happening again?
1056
01:14:59,683 --> 01:15:02,083
Yeah, I guess you're right.
1057
01:15:02,163 --> 01:15:04,163
Okay, Max, go ahead.
1058
01:15:11,164 --> 01:15:14,084
Mom? Dad?
1059
01:15:28,245 --> 01:15:30,085
Max!
1060
01:15:33,445 --> 01:15:36,685
Did you wish for your mom and I
to get back together again?
1061
01:15:36,726 --> 01:15:39,086
No, I wished for Rollerblades.
1062
01:15:42,726 --> 01:15:46,166
Do you want to cut the cake...
1063
01:15:46,206 --> 01:15:48,086
Dad?
1064
01:15:48,127 --> 01:15:50,247
I'd love to.
1065
01:15:50,327 --> 01:15:53,047
But I have
this horrible pain in my arm.
1066
01:15:53,087 --> 01:15:55,047
Oh, no, it's the claw!
1067
01:15:55,127 --> 01:15:57,847
No one can stop the claw!
1068
01:15:57,887 --> 01:16:02,047
No one can stop it!
1069
01:16:07,048 --> 01:16:10,288
Nothing can stop the claw!
1070
01:16:31,770 --> 01:16:36,050
If I was a boxer, l would bounce
those things like Sugar Ray Leonard.
1071
01:16:36,090 --> 01:16:38,970
I'm sorry.
1072
01:16:39,011 --> 01:16:41,371
Brought your kids
to your divorce?
1073
01:16:41,451 --> 01:16:43,331
Sympathy.
- Well, it's working!
1074
01:16:43,411 --> 01:16:45,811
I feel sorry for them already.
1075
01:16:45,851 --> 01:16:48,891
For this you will pay
a terrible price.
1076
01:16:51,772 --> 01:16:54,812
Well, it's working!
I feel sorry for them already.
1077
01:17:07,293 --> 01:17:09,173
Mrs. Cole...
1078
01:17:21,814 --> 01:17:23,814
a goose.
1079
01:17:26,374 --> 01:17:28,254
Including-
1080
01:17:28,295 --> 01:17:30,175
Prenuptial agreements.
1081
01:17:30,215 --> 01:17:33,415
Prenuptial agreements
1082
01:17:38,615 --> 01:17:41,055
No! I'd have got him ten.
1083
01:17:41,096 --> 01:17:43,296
Good-bye, Mr. Reede.
1084
01:17:43,336 --> 01:17:45,736
No! Wait!
I didn't know she had-
1085
01:18:08,858 --> 01:18:12,458
Oh, shit.
1086
01:18:12,538 --> 01:18:16,298
Now let's see.
Weight: 105?
1087
01:18:16,378 --> 01:18:18,338
Yeah! In your bra.
1088
01:18:18,379 --> 01:18:20,579
Your Honor, I object!
- You would!
1089
01:18:20,619 --> 01:18:22,659
Overactor!
- Jezebel!
1090
01:18:27,499 --> 01:18:31,579
He put me up to it.
1091
01:18:31,620 --> 01:18:35,460
Yeah, sure he did.
1092
01:18:35,500 --> 01:18:38,420
Oh, no.
They're onto me.