1 00:00:02,101 --> 00:00:05,161 Now look away like you're not even doing it. 2 00:00:05,337 --> 00:00:07,271 We're not doing this. 3 00:00:07,439 --> 00:00:08,736 - Same rhythm. - Okay. 4 00:00:08,907 --> 00:00:11,273 Push. Push. Push. 5 00:00:13,078 --> 00:00:17,742 Oh, you're pushing harder. It's starting to feel good on my end. 6 00:00:17,916 --> 00:00:21,579 I am trying to make money to start my own business, huh. 7 00:00:21,754 --> 00:00:24,314 Would you say you read Spiegel once a month, twice... 8 00:00:24,490 --> 00:00:26,355 Would you just get us to the hair salon! 9 00:00:26,525 --> 00:00:28,083 We're gonna miss our appointment. 10 00:00:28,260 --> 00:00:31,855 I curse you, and I curse your hair. 11 00:00:32,030 --> 00:00:35,397 What is big deal about this hair place anyway! 12 00:00:37,970 --> 00:00:39,494 They get worse every year. 13 00:00:46,512 --> 00:00:51,814 Okay, we'll take them to the truck. We'll just talk to them. But we'll find a... 14 00:00:54,820 --> 00:00:58,449 Did you throw this shoe at me, my friend! 15 00:00:59,625 --> 00:01:00,956 No! 16 00:01:01,126 --> 00:01:03,686 Sure looks like it was you. 17 00:01:08,267 --> 00:01:10,531 Then who threw it! 18 00:01:13,872 --> 00:01:18,070 Okay. You're lucky I'm in good mood. I'll let you off the hook. 19 00:01:19,545 --> 00:01:22,309 Nobody spits on me. 20 00:01:26,685 --> 00:01:29,586 Thank you for the goat, my friend. 21 00:01:29,755 --> 00:01:30,779 Yes. 22 00:01:31,790 --> 00:01:34,156 Goat! 23 00:01:34,326 --> 00:01:36,294 Goat. 24 00:01:36,461 --> 00:01:38,986 Goat! 25 00:01:39,164 --> 00:01:41,632 Goat! 26 00:01:42,467 --> 00:01:44,958 Goat. 27 00:01:45,137 --> 00:01:48,129 I said, "Can we have the receipt!" 28 00:01:49,308 --> 00:01:51,868 Yes. Die in hell. 29 00:01:55,581 --> 00:01:56,809 Welcome. 30 00:02:00,419 --> 00:02:03,616 We'll color your hair Bling-Bling Blond. This is what you need. 31 00:02:03,789 --> 00:02:05,780 You know what else they go for! 32 00:02:05,958 --> 00:02:09,792 The... I don't know what you have, but mine is the biggest. 33 00:02:09,962 --> 00:02:12,487 This... It does not get bigger than this. 34 00:02:12,664 --> 00:02:15,895 It's enormous. Scary. I mean: 35 00:02:16,068 --> 00:02:17,228 What! 36 00:02:17,669 --> 00:02:20,263 I have the biggest. It's the biggest. 37 00:02:20,439 --> 00:02:22,100 Take a look at this. 38 00:02:22,274 --> 00:02:24,265 Look. 39 00:02:27,012 --> 00:02:29,242 - It's not that big. - It's not that...! 40 00:02:29,414 --> 00:02:30,574 No, no, no. The bush. 41 00:02:31,183 --> 00:02:32,844 The bush is the biggest. 42 00:02:33,018 --> 00:02:35,509 And the girls like this because it's cushion. 43 00:02:37,022 --> 00:02:41,356 It is no bullshaklaga. He is the one. I never forget a face. 44 00:02:41,526 --> 00:02:43,187 So, what do you want I do! 45 00:02:43,729 --> 00:02:45,629 Wait. I conference you. 46 00:02:47,699 --> 00:02:48,723 Hello! 47 00:02:48,901 --> 00:02:51,927 Nasi, emergency meeting. You're on with Hamdi as well. 48 00:02:52,104 --> 00:02:54,038 - Hello, Nasi. - Hello, Hamdi. 49 00:02:54,206 --> 00:02:56,606 Can you believe how much they pay Delgado! 50 00:02:56,775 --> 00:03:00,006 Yes. Why Mets do this! 51 00:03:00,779 --> 00:03:03,805 This is serious. We meet! 52 00:03:03,982 --> 00:03:06,644 I explain why is emergency. 53 00:03:06,818 --> 00:03:09,616 This is not just man who take my goat. 54 00:03:12,024 --> 00:03:15,118 - Zohan Dvir. - Yes. 55 00:03:15,294 --> 00:03:17,421 Everyone think Phantom kill him. 56 00:03:17,596 --> 00:03:18,961 Phantom not kill him. 57 00:03:19,131 --> 00:03:22,760 We will capture, then make trade with Israel. 58 00:03:22,935 --> 00:03:25,096 We will be heroes. 59 00:03:25,270 --> 00:03:28,967 But, Salim, we are not Jihadim. We don't know for sure that this is him. 60 00:03:29,141 --> 00:03:32,042 Let's call Hamas, Hezbollah. Let them handle this. 61 00:03:32,210 --> 00:03:34,235 - Leave it to the pros. - No. 62 00:03:34,413 --> 00:03:35,812 Hezbollah shmezbollah. 63 00:03:35,981 --> 00:03:39,849 Hezbollah will take all the credit. This is our shot. 64 00:03:40,018 --> 00:03:41,952 Why not let Phantom capture him! 65 00:03:42,120 --> 00:03:45,317 Screw Phantom. He hero already. 66 00:03:45,824 --> 00:03:49,191 Where's my chain of muchentuchen restaurants! 67 00:03:50,629 --> 00:03:53,359 Salim, don't make this about yourself. 68 00:03:53,532 --> 00:03:54,999 This is about me. 69 00:03:55,167 --> 00:03:56,794 And about him. 70 00:03:56,969 --> 00:03:58,937 And about my goat! 71 00:03:59,671 --> 00:04:02,231 Come on, let's go! 72 00:04:02,407 --> 00:04:05,808 This is nice, the walking inside the outside. 73 00:04:05,978 --> 00:04:09,539 The park, the people, the horses, the kid. 74 00:04:09,715 --> 00:04:11,546 Well, you're always downtown. 75 00:04:11,717 --> 00:04:13,810 You should see a little more of New York. 76 00:04:13,986 --> 00:04:15,954 Yes, yes, this is good. 77 00:04:16,121 --> 00:04:17,679 The talking is good... 78 00:04:17,856 --> 00:04:20,552 ...to get to know each other before the bang-boom. I like. 79 00:04:20,726 --> 00:04:24,594 Oh, no, no, no. There will be no bang-booming. 80 00:04:24,763 --> 00:04:28,130 I just wanted to thank you for saving my business. 81 00:04:28,300 --> 00:04:31,292 - This isn't a date. - No, no, no. 82 00:04:31,470 --> 00:04:34,667 I feel you have helped me so much... 83 00:04:34,840 --> 00:04:37,104 The right thing to do is to tap you so hard... 84 00:04:37,275 --> 00:04:40,472 ...my schtitzel will come out your poopech. That's what I think. 85 00:04:40,645 --> 00:04:43,671 Look, why don't we just enjoy the park! 86 00:04:43,849 --> 00:04:46,010 No, no, no. This is what we do. 87 00:04:47,552 --> 00:04:49,986 Hey, look, softball. 88 00:04:50,155 --> 00:04:53,090 - You like softball! - Of course, I love softball. 89 00:04:53,258 --> 00:04:57,058 What is softball! Teach me how to. 90 00:04:57,229 --> 00:04:59,823 I learned softball when I came to the States. 91 00:04:59,998 --> 00:05:02,558 When you're Arab, it helps to fit in. 92 00:05:02,734 --> 00:05:04,668 Yeah, how long you move here ago! 93 00:05:04,836 --> 00:05:06,770 Just a few years ago. 94 00:05:06,938 --> 00:05:11,375 I couldn't take it there anymore. All the hate, on both sides. 95 00:05:11,543 --> 00:05:13,602 Yes, especially yours. 96 00:05:13,779 --> 00:05:16,680 Why you say this! You don't know. 97 00:05:16,848 --> 00:05:19,078 No, no, I don't. I read this. 98 00:05:19,251 --> 00:05:23,620 The Australian-Tibet media is very biased. 99 00:05:23,789 --> 00:05:27,350 Look, both sides crazy. 100 00:05:27,526 --> 00:05:28,891 My own family... 101 00:05:30,095 --> 00:05:31,619 My brother... 102 00:05:31,797 --> 00:05:37,201 ...if he knew I work cross street from Israelis, he would lose it. 103 00:05:37,369 --> 00:05:40,964 - Really! - You have the hardcores on both sides. 104 00:05:41,139 --> 00:05:43,573 They just want to fight and fight. 105 00:05:43,742 --> 00:05:46,939 Nobody will win this way. It has to stop. 106 00:05:48,213 --> 00:05:51,478 When will it end, eh! Yes. 107 00:05:53,218 --> 00:05:57,052 Okay, so you must be thirsty, no! 108 00:05:57,556 --> 00:05:59,490 Here. 109 00:05:59,658 --> 00:06:01,649 Where you get this! 110 00:06:01,827 --> 00:06:04,261 This! From specialty shop on West Side. 111 00:06:04,429 --> 00:06:07,956 This Middle Eastern drink. You know this! Fizzy Bubblech! 112 00:06:08,133 --> 00:06:11,296 No, no, no. It looks pretty good. 113 00:06:11,470 --> 00:06:14,337 Oh, try, try. It's very good. Try, have a sip. 114 00:06:18,577 --> 00:06:19,669 It's not for me. 115 00:06:19,845 --> 00:06:21,745 No! Really! 116 00:06:25,350 --> 00:06:27,648 This is his shop. 117 00:06:27,819 --> 00:06:30,185 Here is photo for compare. 118 00:06:30,355 --> 00:06:32,915 For how long this take! I close the newsstand. 119 00:06:34,292 --> 00:06:37,853 Make sure you ask him if he ever hit by shoe. 120 00:06:38,029 --> 00:06:43,194 And about the prize goat that can fetch a bowl of onion soup. 121 00:06:43,802 --> 00:06:47,636 Look in his eyes when you ask him this, for they will be suffering. 122 00:06:47,806 --> 00:06:50,036 - You know, I just got haircut. - Go. 123 00:06:51,476 --> 00:06:56,277 Look at this. I feel like Hugh Hefner with all you little bunnies around here. 124 00:06:59,217 --> 00:07:03,313 Okay, okay, let's see who is going next. 125 00:07:04,556 --> 00:07:08,652 "Jorge Posada," where are you! 126 00:07:08,827 --> 00:07:09,987 That's me. 127 00:07:11,596 --> 00:07:14,394 Okay, good-looking guy, you take a seat there. You're next. 128 00:07:15,066 --> 00:07:17,534 You know, you look like you already just got haircut. 129 00:07:18,570 --> 00:07:20,629 No, no. 130 00:07:20,805 --> 00:07:24,673 So I guessing you're looking for something in the silky smooth area! 131 00:07:24,843 --> 00:07:28,142 - Well... - Because I see you have nice curls. 132 00:07:28,313 --> 00:07:30,907 You don't want to cut into those curls. 133 00:07:31,082 --> 00:07:33,016 We will talk about this over there. 134 00:07:33,185 --> 00:07:37,622 Okay, Scrappy, I wait. 135 00:07:37,789 --> 00:07:40,383 Is not like I have a shoe to throw. 136 00:07:41,660 --> 00:07:43,491 Sure. Yes. Beautiful. Whatever. 137 00:07:43,662 --> 00:07:47,826 I don't have time to go watch a goat fetch soap. 138 00:07:48,633 --> 00:07:51,693 - What! - What! I don't know. 139 00:07:51,870 --> 00:07:53,269 Listen, my friend... 140 00:07:53,438 --> 00:07:56,373 ...you want to talk, it's good, but you have to wait your turn. 141 00:07:56,541 --> 00:07:58,668 First I have to cut and bang Mrs. Greenhouse. 142 00:07:58,843 --> 00:08:00,868 - That's right. - Okay. 143 00:08:05,417 --> 00:08:07,112 Well, I'm ready for it. 144 00:08:07,285 --> 00:08:09,480 Oh, dear. 145 00:08:10,956 --> 00:08:15,586 I am sorry, Mrs. Greenhouse. I am not man enough for you today. 146 00:08:15,760 --> 00:08:18,524 Oh, Scrappy, it's fine. 147 00:08:18,697 --> 00:08:22,531 I don't know what the problem is. I am going to lose business. 148 00:08:22,701 --> 00:08:26,603 Oh, no, dear. You're still adorable. 149 00:08:26,771 --> 00:08:29,535 The screwing was really just a bonus. 150 00:08:30,408 --> 00:08:33,900 You are an angel, Mrs. Greenhouse. 151 00:08:34,079 --> 00:08:37,173 An angel with a magic throat. 152 00:08:37,349 --> 00:08:39,214 Oh, Scrappy! 153 00:08:40,518 --> 00:08:43,954 No, that could work. One more, please. 154 00:08:44,122 --> 00:08:45,714 Let's see what we got. 155 00:08:45,890 --> 00:08:48,051 And we're still nothing. 156 00:09:00,538 --> 00:09:01,562 Well! 157 00:09:01,740 --> 00:09:03,731 He was very cool. 158 00:09:03,908 --> 00:09:05,933 Idiot. What did he say! 159 00:09:06,578 --> 00:09:10,981 He think I have nice curls that go well with a full face. 160 00:09:11,149 --> 00:09:14,312 - But was it him! - Well, it looked like him. 161 00:09:14,486 --> 00:09:15,953 But hard to know. 162 00:09:16,121 --> 00:09:20,820 I tell you this: he didn't seem to care when I talk about goat fetching soap. 163 00:09:21,860 --> 00:09:26,593 Soup. The goat fetched soup. You ruin everything. 164 00:09:26,765 --> 00:09:28,756 Soup! This makes no sense. 165 00:09:28,933 --> 00:09:31,834 Screw you. It's him. I know it's him. 166 00:09:32,003 --> 00:09:35,598 The goat fetched soup! This is unbelievable. 167 00:09:35,774 --> 00:09:38,106 Go to hell. 168 00:09:38,777 --> 00:09:40,005 You said it was urgent! 169 00:09:40,178 --> 00:09:43,375 It's an emergency. Please, take a look. 170 00:09:44,683 --> 00:09:45,707 Yes, yes. 171 00:09:46,618 --> 00:09:50,554 Well, that's not a real problem. You can always shave it. 172 00:09:51,623 --> 00:09:53,648 No, not the bush. 173 00:09:53,825 --> 00:09:57,784 No, inside the bush. Look deeper. Him. 174 00:09:57,962 --> 00:10:00,192 - I see. - He lays in there all day long. 175 00:10:00,365 --> 00:10:04,426 Maybe it needs some more oxygen. It looks like it's being strangled. 176 00:10:06,471 --> 00:10:08,564 So the Palestinian says to the priest: 177 00:10:08,740 --> 00:10:12,005 "Okay, but let's skip the bath." 178 00:10:13,244 --> 00:10:15,075 Why, are they not clean! 179 00:10:15,246 --> 00:10:16,577 No, is good joke. 180 00:10:17,949 --> 00:10:21,077 Honey, are you all right! You've been in there for over an hour. 181 00:10:21,252 --> 00:10:25,621 What is this stuff! I mean, I took one sip and I repainted the whole toilet. 182 00:10:25,790 --> 00:10:28,350 Is Fizzy Bubblech. You'll get used to it, relax. 183 00:10:28,526 --> 00:10:31,017 I don't wanna get used to it. My car couldn't. 184 00:10:33,231 --> 00:10:36,564 - All right, that's it for me. I'm done. - What! What! 185 00:10:36,735 --> 00:10:38,134 Is everything all right! 186 00:10:38,303 --> 00:10:40,362 - Is it about the pee-pee! - Stop it. 187 00:10:40,538 --> 00:10:43,200 - The pee-pee! - He can't do with his peepeechosetz. 188 00:10:43,375 --> 00:10:46,867 Really! He's usually as hard as trigonometry. 189 00:10:47,045 --> 00:10:49,411 - Mom. What...! - When did this happen! 190 00:10:50,148 --> 00:10:51,672 The last few days. 191 00:10:51,850 --> 00:10:55,081 Of course. It's ever since you went out with that Dalia. 192 00:10:56,354 --> 00:11:01,053 Your hog is telling you something. She must be the one. 193 00:11:01,226 --> 00:11:03,751 The one! 194 00:11:03,928 --> 00:11:05,259 Is this possible! 195 00:11:05,430 --> 00:11:08,092 Of course it's possible, man. 196 00:11:08,266 --> 00:11:12,464 All the beaverim in the world and he falls for Palestinian muffich. 197 00:11:13,104 --> 00:11:15,368 Why should Scrappy care if she's Palestinian! 198 00:11:15,540 --> 00:11:18,805 He's from Australia and Tibet. He's not Israeli. 199 00:11:18,977 --> 00:11:20,308 - No, no, no. - Oh, no, no, no. 200 00:11:22,781 --> 00:11:24,078 Exactly. 201 00:11:24,249 --> 00:11:25,841 What was that, a motor boat! 202 00:11:26,017 --> 00:11:27,245 You know, Scrappy... 203 00:11:27,419 --> 00:11:32,550 ...a special woman is special no matter where she's from. 204 00:11:32,724 --> 00:11:34,988 Listen to your hog. 205 00:11:35,760 --> 00:11:39,196 Someone special. 206 00:11:39,364 --> 00:11:40,490 Maybe is good. 207 00:11:40,665 --> 00:11:42,792 It's good! It's terrific! 208 00:11:43,635 --> 00:11:46,468 I mean, you know, you guys won't be together anymore... 209 00:11:46,638 --> 00:11:49,106 ...but Scrappy is in love. That's great, awesome. 210 00:11:49,841 --> 00:11:51,433 Thank you for your support. 211 00:11:51,609 --> 00:11:53,201 - Is a good boy. - Good boy. 212 00:11:53,378 --> 00:11:56,074 This is fun. Let's celebrate. Where's the cat! 213 00:11:56,247 --> 00:11:58,875 Let's cat-sack, huh! Throw it to me. 214 00:11:59,050 --> 00:12:01,746 - Got you. - Let's play, man. 215 00:12:04,522 --> 00:12:06,149 Take it, Michael. 216 00:12:10,895 --> 00:12:12,021 Look at you. 217 00:12:15,600 --> 00:12:17,898 I wanna try it. 218 00:12:25,276 --> 00:12:26,402 Is good. 219 00:12:28,847 --> 00:12:30,678 Welcome to Hezbollah phone line. 220 00:12:30,849 --> 00:12:33,409 For membership information, press one. 221 00:12:33,585 --> 00:12:36,247 For negotiation update, press two. 222 00:12:36,421 --> 00:12:39,151 For bonus mile information, press three. 223 00:12:39,324 --> 00:12:42,623 For terrorist supplies, press four. 224 00:12:44,095 --> 00:12:47,087 We have currently suspended our terrorist supply service... 225 00:12:47,265 --> 00:12:50,257 ... as we are engaged in negotiations with Israel. 226 00:12:50,435 --> 00:12:55,771 We will resume service as soon as negotiations break down. Thank you. 227 00:12:55,940 --> 00:12:58,067 Great. 228 00:12:58,543 --> 00:13:00,909 Come on. Just think of a bomb. 229 00:13:01,079 --> 00:13:05,379 They say you can make bomb from everyday's material. You combine. 230 00:13:05,550 --> 00:13:08,576 Yes, okay. But what we combination! 231 00:13:10,555 --> 00:13:12,079 Just think of chemicals. 232 00:13:12,257 --> 00:13:14,851 Chemicals, like in science class. 233 00:13:15,026 --> 00:13:16,926 Yes. 234 00:13:22,233 --> 00:13:25,259 Who remembers this stuff! 235 00:13:28,072 --> 00:13:29,130 Hello. 236 00:13:29,307 --> 00:13:31,935 Well, can I help you fellas find anything! 237 00:13:32,110 --> 00:13:35,568 Yes, do you have... 238 00:13:37,582 --> 00:13:42,315 ..."liquid nitrogen." 239 00:13:43,521 --> 00:13:45,148 You need what! 240 00:13:45,323 --> 00:13:49,987 Liquid nitrogen. 241 00:13:51,663 --> 00:13:55,463 Yeah. Well, I suppose we have some of that. 242 00:13:55,633 --> 00:13:56,895 Now, just a moment. 243 00:14:03,274 --> 00:14:06,471 - This is it! - Yes, and that's the large container. 244 00:14:07,779 --> 00:14:09,337 This works! 245 00:14:09,514 --> 00:14:11,175 Oh, it works quite well. Yes. 246 00:14:12,483 --> 00:14:13,507 You use! 247 00:14:13,685 --> 00:14:17,143 From time to time. Sure. 248 00:14:21,726 --> 00:14:23,694 We'll take 12. 249 00:14:24,696 --> 00:14:27,631 Look, you can turn off the water... 250 00:14:27,799 --> 00:14:30,597 ...but we will find a way to keep on going. 251 00:14:30,768 --> 00:14:32,827 Oh, you like when I spray you, Mrs. Skitzer! 252 00:14:33,004 --> 00:14:34,801 Where's the $ 14,000! 253 00:14:35,373 --> 00:14:39,275 I have your rent right here. There is no getting rid of me. 254 00:14:39,444 --> 00:14:40,877 We don't wanna get rid of you. 255 00:14:41,045 --> 00:14:45,482 Mr. Walbridge would actually like to relocate your salon in our new mall. 256 00:14:45,650 --> 00:14:48,881 You mean the one you want to destroy this community to build! 257 00:14:49,053 --> 00:14:51,521 It is not our intent to destroy this community. 258 00:14:52,390 --> 00:14:56,793 I'll take the community, Pancake. 259 00:14:56,961 --> 00:15:00,226 My name is Gray, and I'll be back. 260 00:15:00,932 --> 00:15:02,661 Nice to meet you, Pancake. 261 00:15:06,437 --> 00:15:07,461 Why Pancake! 262 00:15:08,306 --> 00:15:09,330 Just for fun. 263 00:15:10,108 --> 00:15:12,076 You were amazing right there. 264 00:15:15,213 --> 00:15:16,237 Oh, my God. 265 00:15:16,414 --> 00:15:18,439 What! 266 00:15:18,616 --> 00:15:20,379 I have one. 267 00:15:20,885 --> 00:15:21,977 What! 268 00:15:22,153 --> 00:15:24,644 I have zikpah. 269 00:15:24,822 --> 00:15:26,016 Look at it. 270 00:15:27,325 --> 00:15:30,089 It is you. 271 00:15:30,862 --> 00:15:34,923 Dalia, I don't know how to tell you this. I cannot make sticky with anyone else. 272 00:15:36,000 --> 00:15:38,901 You are the special one. 273 00:15:39,070 --> 00:15:42,528 I will only be stiff for you. 274 00:15:43,841 --> 00:15:45,365 Who is Steve! 275 00:15:45,543 --> 00:15:47,943 Stiff, with an F. 276 00:15:50,448 --> 00:15:53,076 - Stiff. Stiff. - Yes. 277 00:15:53,685 --> 00:15:55,277 Okay... 278 00:15:55,453 --> 00:15:59,446 ...I know you meant that in a good way... 279 00:15:59,624 --> 00:16:00,852 The best of ways. 280 00:16:01,025 --> 00:16:03,459 - so thank you. 281 00:16:03,628 --> 00:16:05,755 Thank you. 282 00:16:07,098 --> 00:16:08,725 Is crazy. 283 00:16:08,900 --> 00:16:12,199 This has never happened. 284 00:16:12,370 --> 00:16:13,962 One woman... 285 00:16:14,138 --> 00:16:16,333 ...one zikpah... 286 00:16:16,507 --> 00:16:18,202 ...one life. 287 00:16:41,566 --> 00:16:44,694 You see his face! Scared Israeli son of bitch. 288 00:16:44,869 --> 00:16:46,837 Salim, this is not bomb. 289 00:16:47,004 --> 00:16:48,369 What you mean "not bomb"! 290 00:16:48,539 --> 00:16:51,167 It's grade A liquid nitrogen. 291 00:16:51,342 --> 00:16:53,037 Guys, I really need to go home. 292 00:16:53,211 --> 00:16:55,372 Inaz have a soccer match in the morning. 293 00:16:55,546 --> 00:16:59,038 - I am hero. - Salim, this not bomb. It just go: 294 00:16:59,217 --> 00:17:01,014 Well, just go with it. 295 00:17:03,154 --> 00:17:04,781 I scraped some off the window. 296 00:17:05,456 --> 00:17:06,753 Maybe you know what is! 297 00:17:12,563 --> 00:17:17,023 It's Neosporin, it's nothing. I use it for cuts and genital sores. 298 00:17:20,238 --> 00:17:22,934 We're beginning to think maybe someone out to get the Zo... 299 00:17:23,107 --> 00:17:24,938 The Scrappy. 300 00:17:25,109 --> 00:17:28,704 You mean like a competing salon! That's heavy. 301 00:17:28,880 --> 00:17:31,781 Don't be afraid, honey. Don't be afraid. 302 00:17:31,949 --> 00:17:33,678 Well, I... 303 00:17:35,186 --> 00:17:37,882 Yeah, lick this. No, she likes the tongue in the ear. 304 00:17:38,055 --> 00:17:40,080 Oh, I like that bet... Oh, I like that. 305 00:17:40,258 --> 00:17:42,351 Close with the brenski. 306 00:17:44,762 --> 00:17:47,162 Come on, get some saliva on those bad boys. 307 00:17:47,331 --> 00:17:49,492 - She likes it, huh! - Of course she likes it. 308 00:17:49,667 --> 00:17:50,998 Okay. 309 00:17:51,169 --> 00:17:54,229 I could look for clues. It's my shift for community night watch. 310 00:17:54,405 --> 00:17:56,134 The what! The communism tight crotch! 311 00:17:56,307 --> 00:17:58,275 Oh, it's the community night watch program. 312 00:17:58,442 --> 00:18:02,310 You know, people in the neighborhood patrolling it, keeping it safe. 313 00:18:02,480 --> 00:18:04,243 We kick some ass. 314 00:18:04,415 --> 00:18:07,350 Hey, why don't you let Scrappy Coco take your shift tonight! 315 00:18:07,518 --> 00:18:09,918 - I bet he'd be good at this. - Oori. 316 00:18:10,521 --> 00:18:12,489 What! For clues. 317 00:18:12,657 --> 00:18:17,253 I know it sounds scary, Scrappy, but you are gonna be just fine. 318 00:18:18,129 --> 00:18:20,256 Maybe I can manage one night. 319 00:18:20,431 --> 00:18:22,160 Maybe you can pretzel some people. 320 00:18:22,333 --> 00:18:25,359 - Thank you for getting the hummus. - The hummus. 321 00:18:26,003 --> 00:18:27,493 Where's Patches! 322 00:18:27,672 --> 00:18:29,435 Patches. 323 00:18:33,010 --> 00:18:36,002 I'm terrified right now. I'm totally terrified. 324 00:18:36,180 --> 00:18:38,478 "Shitting my pants" doesn't come close. 325 00:18:38,649 --> 00:18:40,742 I wish I was shitting my pants. 326 00:18:40,918 --> 00:18:42,783 It's just a patrol. 327 00:18:42,954 --> 00:18:44,251 What if something goes down! 328 00:18:44,422 --> 00:18:46,617 I don't know if I'd have the courage. 329 00:18:46,791 --> 00:18:49,555 What if something goes down and someone got killed! 330 00:18:49,727 --> 00:18:53,219 I would have to live with that. I'd be happier shitting my pants. 331 00:18:53,397 --> 00:18:54,694 Much happier. 332 00:18:58,769 --> 00:19:00,930 - Let's go. - We're supposed to call the police. 333 00:19:01,105 --> 00:19:02,197 No. No time. 334 00:19:02,373 --> 00:19:04,273 No, no. No. It's good. 335 00:19:07,378 --> 00:19:08,402 Drop the paint. 336 00:19:09,814 --> 00:19:12,908 Get out of here, Ahab, or I'll cut your eyes out. 337 00:19:13,084 --> 00:19:15,552 - Maybe we should let him finish. - No, no, no. 338 00:19:15,720 --> 00:19:18,484 What you cut my eyes out with! The Neosporin! 339 00:19:21,492 --> 00:19:23,221 My blade, camel jockey. 340 00:19:23,394 --> 00:19:26,795 My friend, the beating I give you if you stop the spraying... 341 00:19:26,964 --> 00:19:30,456 ...is much less than the beating I give you if you try to cut me. 342 00:19:34,772 --> 00:19:36,069 What are you laughing at! 343 00:19:36,941 --> 00:19:39,637 That was just with everyone. 344 00:19:50,454 --> 00:19:52,115 They had it coming to them, right! 345 00:19:52,290 --> 00:19:54,520 Yeah. Yeah, it seemed like it. Yeah. 346 00:19:54,692 --> 00:19:58,492 - Okay, you take it from here. - I got it. 347 00:19:58,663 --> 00:20:00,028 Everything's gonna be okay. 348 00:20:03,467 --> 00:20:05,697 What you gotta say about that, huh! 349 00:20:09,974 --> 00:20:12,374 You're telling me our guys can't handle... 350 00:20:12,543 --> 00:20:15,774 ...some neighborhood night-watching losers! 351 00:20:15,947 --> 00:20:18,814 We can't even put a scare into these people! 352 00:20:18,983 --> 00:20:20,712 The main guy who got in the way... 353 00:20:20,885 --> 00:20:24,048 ...is the same one who's bringing old biddies into Rafaela Salon. 354 00:20:24,221 --> 00:20:25,415 My aunt goes there. 355 00:20:25,589 --> 00:20:28,990 She says besides the sex, the guy gives a pretty good haircut. 356 00:20:29,160 --> 00:20:31,287 Don't talk to me about that dump. 357 00:20:31,462 --> 00:20:35,956 I've got a huge, classy hotel standing there... 358 00:20:36,133 --> 00:20:38,658 ...and it's staring at that cheap garbage. 359 00:20:38,836 --> 00:20:41,168 I want it staring at the Supercuts. 360 00:20:41,339 --> 00:20:47,141 Now, has anyone made any headway with any of these foreign people! 361 00:20:47,311 --> 00:20:50,371 I spoke to the manager of Going Out Of Business again yesterday. 362 00:20:50,548 --> 00:20:53,176 I stated our price and the urgency of the matter... 363 00:20:53,351 --> 00:20:56,343 ...and he offered me two-thirds less and a Toshiba DVD player. 364 00:20:56,520 --> 00:20:59,080 The people at Everything Must Go were just as difficult. 365 00:20:59,256 --> 00:21:02,555 They offered me a Blu-ray disc and a jar of hummus. 366 00:21:03,060 --> 00:21:04,152 What's hummus! 367 00:21:04,328 --> 00:21:06,228 It's a very tasty... 368 00:21:06,397 --> 00:21:07,864 ...diarrhea-like substance. 369 00:21:08,032 --> 00:21:10,330 Grant Walbridge has a vision. 370 00:21:10,501 --> 00:21:14,801 A vision for Lower Manhattan to have the first indoor mall... 371 00:21:14,972 --> 00:21:18,203 ...with its own 300-foot roller coaster. 372 00:21:18,376 --> 00:21:21,709 You know, you're lucky I have a world-class superhot girlfriend... 373 00:21:21,879 --> 00:21:25,713 ...with a perfectly proportioned ass-to-breast ratio... 374 00:21:25,883 --> 00:21:27,748 ...or I'd be furious. 375 00:21:27,918 --> 00:21:29,909 She is smoking, sir. 376 00:21:30,087 --> 00:21:31,952 I'd pay to spend an hour with her, sir. 377 00:21:32,123 --> 00:21:33,385 Let me in on that. 378 00:21:33,557 --> 00:21:35,115 Well, thank you. 379 00:21:35,292 --> 00:21:41,356 But if you bitches can't get those people out... 380 00:21:41,532 --> 00:21:44,262 ...I will find other people who will get the job done. 381 00:21:44,435 --> 00:21:47,199 However, whenever. 382 00:21:48,439 --> 00:21:53,775 Walbridge! 383 00:22:01,118 --> 00:22:02,483 This is where I find them. 384 00:22:02,653 --> 00:22:05,918 But I don't know if it's same people who try to Neosporin salon. 385 00:22:06,090 --> 00:22:09,958 But you caught them writing this crap, so, what do you do! 386 00:22:12,129 --> 00:22:14,962 - You don't mess with the Zohan. - Check it. 387 00:22:15,132 --> 00:22:16,121 - Disco. - Disco. 388 00:22:16,300 --> 00:22:17,289 - Good. - Good. 389 00:22:17,468 --> 00:22:19,959 Why did you do this to Naseef's store, huh! 390 00:22:20,137 --> 00:22:21,604 Why you blame the Israelis! 391 00:22:21,772 --> 00:22:23,672 We come to work, go out of business. 392 00:22:23,841 --> 00:22:26,708 No, no, no. Is not Israeli who do this. 393 00:22:26,877 --> 00:22:29,641 I do community watch. Don't worry, it's all taken care of. 394 00:22:29,814 --> 00:22:33,181 Not Israeli! Who else would write "Arab go home"! 395 00:22:33,350 --> 00:22:36,877 Oh, I don't know, just maybe 99 percent of the world. 396 00:22:37,755 --> 00:22:39,746 - You see what he says! - That was joke. 397 00:22:39,924 --> 00:22:43,587 Come on, come on. You guys get along here, stop this. 398 00:22:43,761 --> 00:22:47,857 Yeah, here it's okay. It's just there, the war is never going to end. 399 00:22:48,532 --> 00:22:51,899 You know, we were so close to peace before the asshole shot Rabin. 400 00:22:53,037 --> 00:22:54,402 Bush, he see the big picture. 401 00:22:54,572 --> 00:22:57,006 Bush no want peace, he set it all back. 402 00:22:57,174 --> 00:23:00,610 What about Bush's wife! This is a wife I would get sticky with. 403 00:23:00,778 --> 00:23:02,905 I would do this. I would do this. 404 00:23:03,080 --> 00:23:05,776 - Yes, yes. - What about Clinton! I would do Hillary. 405 00:23:07,685 --> 00:23:08,879 The big legs. 406 00:23:09,053 --> 00:23:11,988 Yeah, she look strict, like she's going to teach me a lesson. 407 00:23:12,156 --> 00:23:14,317 - Yes, discipline. - You know what's funny! 408 00:23:14,492 --> 00:23:16,255 I like Chelsea. 409 00:23:16,427 --> 00:23:18,019 You're crazy. 410 00:23:19,363 --> 00:23:20,921 She has beautiful legs. 411 00:23:21,899 --> 00:23:25,892 If I want legs, I'll take Obama's wife. She has legs. 412 00:23:26,070 --> 00:23:28,129 This is what happens when they talk politics. 413 00:23:28,305 --> 00:23:30,205 No, no, no, wife of McCain! 414 00:23:30,374 --> 00:23:33,605 She has the ass, and you know she's not getting any. 415 00:23:34,812 --> 00:23:39,215 I understand my assistant explained the job to you. 416 00:23:39,383 --> 00:23:42,045 He told us. You wanna get some people out your building... 417 00:23:42,219 --> 00:23:45,154 ...so you can build some kind of roller coaster mall. 418 00:23:45,322 --> 00:23:48,553 Sir, I just wanna thank you for this opportunity. 419 00:23:48,726 --> 00:23:52,890 I mean, it's a gift to mess with the Jews and the terrorists on the same night. 420 00:23:53,063 --> 00:23:54,394 I mean, it's like... 421 00:23:54,565 --> 00:23:57,466 - It's like... - Christmas in July. 422 00:23:57,635 --> 00:23:59,500 It's like Christmas in July. 423 00:23:59,670 --> 00:24:02,639 Right now we are scheduled to sabotage... 424 00:24:02,806 --> 00:24:05,673 ... a black peoples' parade in Chicago... 425 00:24:05,843 --> 00:24:08,073 ...but we can move that. 426 00:24:08,245 --> 00:24:11,681 Well, I'm not really quite sure how you move a parade. 427 00:24:11,849 --> 00:24:14,340 That's easy, it's just a phone call. 428 00:24:15,019 --> 00:24:18,352 Well, we'll be calling back to make the arrangements. 429 00:24:18,522 --> 00:24:22,424 Can I just say that I don't like most rich people, but you get it. 430 00:24:22,593 --> 00:24:25,084 We built this country on the right to bear arms. 431 00:24:25,262 --> 00:24:29,164 Now they're trying to tell me how many bullets my gun can shoot per second. 432 00:24:29,333 --> 00:24:33,064 They're trying to tell me whether I can stockpile weapons... 433 00:24:33,237 --> 00:24:34,932 ...in the shed behind my house. 434 00:24:35,105 --> 00:24:37,699 - Right, by God. - Anyway, you're a rich guy that gets it. 435 00:24:37,875 --> 00:24:40,139 You and Mel Gibson. 436 00:24:42,580 --> 00:24:46,107 Mel Gibson. Not too shabby. 437 00:24:48,586 --> 00:24:50,611 Welcome to Hezbollah customer service. 438 00:24:50,788 --> 00:24:52,221 All lines are busy now. 439 00:24:52,389 --> 00:24:57,656 Your call will be received in... minutes. 440 00:24:58,429 --> 00:25:00,659 Come on with this. How we find Phantom! 441 00:25:00,831 --> 00:25:04,130 Well, he probably hang at the muchentuchen restaurant. 442 00:25:04,301 --> 00:25:06,826 Okay, but which! He have, like, 200. 443 00:25:07,004 --> 00:25:08,198 Probably in Amman. 444 00:25:08,372 --> 00:25:10,567 In downtown he get the hottest poochibaba. 445 00:25:16,747 --> 00:25:19,511 What's the area code of Amman! 446 00:26:00,524 --> 00:26:01,923 Hello. Phantom Muchentuchen. 447 00:26:02,092 --> 00:26:04,652 Yes. I want speak Phantom. 448 00:26:04,828 --> 00:26:06,762 What say! No English. 449 00:26:07,164 --> 00:26:08,654 Idiot. 450 00:26:08,832 --> 00:26:11,300 Want speak to Phantom. 451 00:26:11,468 --> 00:26:14,369 No, no, no. Phantom not here. Phantom Muchentuchen. 452 00:26:14,538 --> 00:26:17,905 Yeah, yeah, I know. But Phantom no come! 453 00:26:18,075 --> 00:26:19,667 But what about for poonibaba! 454 00:26:19,843 --> 00:26:23,244 No, no, poonibaba at store on 3rd and Lachalta. 455 00:26:23,414 --> 00:26:25,974 Oh, okay. So you have number for store! 456 00:26:26,150 --> 00:26:27,777 You call information. 457 00:26:27,951 --> 00:26:30,385 You don't have number for other store! 458 00:26:32,823 --> 00:26:34,222 It's somewhere. I don't know. 459 00:26:34,391 --> 00:26:40,330 Come on, get number! I calling from America, fry bitch! I very important. 460 00:26:40,497 --> 00:26:42,328 Salim, the kids. 461 00:26:42,499 --> 00:26:45,627 When she is grown up she will understand! 462 00:26:47,237 --> 00:26:48,932 Hello. 463 00:26:51,041 --> 00:26:54,306 I find the Zohan. You not kill the Zohan. 464 00:26:54,478 --> 00:26:56,070 I kill the Zohan. 465 00:26:56,246 --> 00:26:59,113 No, you did not. I find him in America. 466 00:26:59,283 --> 00:27:01,877 I prove. I send you picture on cell. 467 00:27:02,519 --> 00:27:04,282 Okay. Bring this. 468 00:27:04,455 --> 00:27:05,649 I am bringing. 469 00:27:12,062 --> 00:27:13,086 You see? 470 00:27:13,263 --> 00:27:16,790 But the hairstyle, it is hideous. 471 00:27:16,967 --> 00:27:18,059 This is same Zohan. 472 00:27:18,235 --> 00:27:21,227 What he thinking! He look like guy from Who's the Boss? 473 00:27:21,405 --> 00:27:23,669 Look, this is same Zohan. 474 00:27:23,841 --> 00:27:28,141 Everybody think you big hero. But I tell everyone you not big hero. 475 00:27:28,312 --> 00:27:30,280 Okay, okay, okay! What you want, huh! 476 00:27:30,447 --> 00:27:32,972 I want muchentuchen restaurant chain. 477 00:27:33,150 --> 00:27:34,310 No. 478 00:27:34,485 --> 00:27:37,181 But if I tell, you no have chain anyway. 479 00:27:37,354 --> 00:27:39,618 So you not give any incentive. 480 00:27:40,991 --> 00:27:43,926 Okay. I want 50 percent of muchentuchen chain. 481 00:27:44,094 --> 00:27:47,495 - Phantom & Salim Muchentuchen. - No. 482 00:27:47,664 --> 00:27:49,291 - Twenty-five percent. - No. 483 00:27:49,466 --> 00:27:52,458 I want yogurt shop attached to store, like food court. 484 00:27:52,936 --> 00:27:53,960 Okay. 485 00:27:54,138 --> 00:27:56,038 - I get profits from store. - No. 486 00:27:56,206 --> 00:27:57,696 - Some profits. - No. 487 00:27:57,875 --> 00:27:59,843 I get free yogurt when I come to store. 488 00:28:00,544 --> 00:28:02,307 Okay. Within reason. 489 00:28:02,479 --> 00:28:04,003 And I want some of your wives. 490 00:28:04,448 --> 00:28:05,779 How many wives you want? 491 00:28:05,949 --> 00:28:07,280 - Twenty. - No. 492 00:28:07,451 --> 00:28:09,282 - I sleep with one wife. - No. 493 00:28:09,453 --> 00:28:11,284 She give one pee-pee touch. 494 00:28:12,189 --> 00:28:13,213 Okay. 495 00:28:30,674 --> 00:28:33,734 My friends, look what I do. I hook you all up with tickets. 496 00:28:33,911 --> 00:28:36,675 This Walbridge guy's trying to kiss salon's ass... 497 00:28:36,847 --> 00:28:39,543 ...so he give me 20 tickets hackyside. 498 00:28:39,716 --> 00:28:43,675 Very nice. Hassan, you see this! 499 00:28:44,688 --> 00:28:47,885 This is where you're going to be when Israel kick your ass. 500 00:28:48,058 --> 00:28:51,357 Yes! No, you're gonna give it up like you give up Gaza Strip, huh! 501 00:28:53,397 --> 00:28:55,365 Excuse us. 502 00:28:57,201 --> 00:28:58,293 I have to show you this. 503 00:28:58,469 --> 00:29:02,064 Listen to Fatima Zaad's gossip column on Page Nine. 504 00:29:02,239 --> 00:29:05,333 "A hall of fame terrorist is visiting New York... 505 00:29:05,509 --> 00:29:07,841 ...and not for the muchentuchen." 506 00:29:08,545 --> 00:29:11,275 - Phantom's coming to the City! - There's more. 507 00:29:11,448 --> 00:29:15,612 "He's coming to hacky sack a certain scrappy Israeli... 508 00:29:15,786 --> 00:29:20,018 ...who says he cuts hair, but really cuts terrorist." 509 00:29:21,658 --> 00:29:22,920 He's ruined everything. 510 00:29:23,093 --> 00:29:25,391 Why you say! You the Zohan. 511 00:29:25,562 --> 00:29:28,053 He come to hacky sack, you take him out. 512 00:29:28,232 --> 00:29:30,757 No, I don't care. I come here to start new life. 513 00:29:30,934 --> 00:29:33,835 Get new woman to love and make the bang-boom. 514 00:29:34,004 --> 00:29:36,234 Now my life's followed me here. 515 00:29:45,082 --> 00:29:47,915 Maybe Phantom no care anymore. 516 00:30:42,940 --> 00:30:45,465 You're an Israeli counterterrorist! 517 00:30:45,642 --> 00:30:47,041 - I knew it. - What! 518 00:30:47,210 --> 00:30:50,509 Well, the Israeli part. Because he's circumcised. 519 00:30:51,481 --> 00:30:54,348 How is Dalia going to forgive me! 520 00:30:54,518 --> 00:30:55,917 I'm liar. 521 00:30:56,086 --> 00:30:59,021 She Palestinian, I'm no Australian. 522 00:30:59,189 --> 00:31:02,124 You know, Scrappy... I mean, "Zohard." 523 00:31:02,292 --> 00:31:05,318 - if there's one thing I've learned from all my relationships... 524 00:31:05,495 --> 00:31:09,625 ...with Jewish men, Puerto Rican men, aborigines... 525 00:31:11,301 --> 00:31:14,270 ...you can't have secrets in a relationship. 526 00:31:14,438 --> 00:31:19,239 You tell her the truth and if she really is this special one... 527 00:31:19,409 --> 00:31:22,071 ...everything will work out just fine. 528 00:31:22,813 --> 00:31:24,906 I like this. 529 00:31:29,918 --> 00:31:33,979 I am sorry I not tell you the truth before I make you fall head over tits for me. 530 00:31:34,155 --> 00:31:38,182 But believe me, I am wanting you even more. 531 00:31:39,194 --> 00:31:41,924 I know you're not from where you say. 532 00:31:42,096 --> 00:31:44,189 I see how you look at the Fizzy Bubblech. 533 00:31:44,365 --> 00:31:48,392 Then why you like this! Is it because I Israel and you Palestine! 534 00:31:48,570 --> 00:31:50,094 Come on, tell me in my face. 535 00:31:50,271 --> 00:31:53,707 Zohan, you're not just Israel. 536 00:31:53,875 --> 00:31:55,775 You Israel. 537 00:31:55,944 --> 00:31:57,912 But you say hate is stupid. 538 00:31:58,079 --> 00:32:01,879 That's why you run to America, to get away from the hate and the fighting. 539 00:32:02,483 --> 00:32:05,577 I was even thinking we let all this cool down... 540 00:32:05,753 --> 00:32:07,721 ...I go out and get us a house over there. 541 00:32:07,889 --> 00:32:10,483 We move in together, we cut the hair... 542 00:32:10,658 --> 00:32:13,422 ...make the children, cut the children's hair. 543 00:32:13,595 --> 00:32:15,961 Zohan, I can't. 544 00:32:16,831 --> 00:32:20,426 I have open mind, but you Israeli counterterrorist. 545 00:32:20,602 --> 00:32:22,297 No, no, no. I no do this anymore. 546 00:32:22,470 --> 00:32:25,200 You put the fork in the fat lady, it's over. 547 00:32:25,373 --> 00:32:27,534 She's had enough to eat. This is a promise. 548 00:32:27,709 --> 00:32:30,200 It doesn't matter. 549 00:32:30,378 --> 00:32:32,471 You don't know my family. 550 00:32:32,647 --> 00:32:35,115 Or maybe you do. 551 00:32:35,283 --> 00:32:36,545 What does this mean! 552 00:32:37,785 --> 00:32:39,548 Just leave. 553 00:32:39,721 --> 00:32:41,655 Please, it can't be. 554 00:32:46,094 --> 00:32:48,426 Maybe is for best. 555 00:32:49,264 --> 00:32:52,392 You deserve a safe life. 556 00:32:53,735 --> 00:32:55,896 But know... 557 00:32:56,838 --> 00:33:00,069 ...you will always be my special one. 558 00:33:11,686 --> 00:33:13,779 - Zohan. - Dalia. 559 00:33:16,424 --> 00:33:17,857 I got you a gift. 560 00:33:18,026 --> 00:33:20,153 A gift. 561 00:33:23,931 --> 00:33:26,422 They come out with new book! 562 00:33:26,601 --> 00:33:31,436 Yes. They do it every 21 years, I think. 563 00:33:31,606 --> 00:33:33,801 Just a slight update from yours. 564 00:33:39,514 --> 00:33:41,505 No feathering! 565 00:33:41,683 --> 00:33:42,980 Or scrunching! 566 00:33:43,718 --> 00:33:45,015 Where's the style! 567 00:33:46,054 --> 00:33:50,787 But I know this is nice gesture. Thank you. 568 00:33:52,060 --> 00:33:53,687 Goodbye, Zohan. 569 00:33:53,861 --> 00:33:56,091 Goodbye. 570 00:34:02,537 --> 00:34:04,630 Goodbye. 571 00:34:29,697 --> 00:34:31,358 I'm sorry it didn't work out. 572 00:34:31,532 --> 00:34:33,022 Me too. 573 00:34:33,201 --> 00:34:34,463 You still go to Hacky Sack! 574 00:34:34,635 --> 00:34:37,604 Yes, it's better I find him than he finds me, huh! 575 00:34:37,772 --> 00:34:40,832 I got your back. I get you best army guys in city. 576 00:34:41,008 --> 00:34:43,977 No, no, no. I handle this alone. 577 00:34:53,955 --> 00:34:55,752 Hello! Let's go. 578 00:35:14,075 --> 00:35:16,543 Go. Go, go, go. 579 00:35:41,636 --> 00:35:46,073 Ladies and gentlemen, here are your Israeli Blue Stars... 580 00:35:46,240 --> 00:35:50,404 ... and your Lebanese Trees! 581 00:36:02,089 --> 00:36:04,319 Fizzy Bubblech. 582 00:36:16,904 --> 00:36:19,395 What's with the cheers! Wasn't that guy a terrorist! 583 00:36:19,574 --> 00:36:22,065 Yeah, people used to boo you too, John, you remember! 584 00:36:22,243 --> 00:36:23,767 I wasn't a terrorist. 585 00:36:23,945 --> 00:36:26,209 You were pretty bad. 586 00:36:28,216 --> 00:36:32,175 I brought this great event to New York to tell the world... 587 00:36:32,353 --> 00:36:34,321 ...that New York City... 588 00:36:34,489 --> 00:36:38,721 ...loves its foreign immigrant-types from the Middle East. 589 00:36:39,861 --> 00:36:44,594 My hot girlfriend and I know that we can all get along... 590 00:36:44,765 --> 00:36:50,226 ...whether you're white, or brown, or khaki, whatever that color is. 591 00:36:50,404 --> 00:36:54,738 And here to sing the American national anthem... 592 00:36:54,909 --> 00:36:57,377 ...a superstar we all love: 593 00:36:57,545 --> 00:36:59,775 Mariah Carey! 594 00:37:26,140 --> 00:37:27,664 Goal! 595 00:37:27,842 --> 00:37:30,106 And disco break! 596 00:37:45,293 --> 00:37:48,626 Disco, disco, good, good! Disco, disco, good, good! 597 00:37:48,796 --> 00:37:52,664 Disco, disco, good, good! Disco, disco, good, good! 598 00:37:54,869 --> 00:37:56,666 Okay, Mariah. Couple more. 599 00:37:56,837 --> 00:37:59,635 This one's from Sheik Fayalah of Lebanon. 600 00:37:59,807 --> 00:38:02,298 He wants you to write "All I want for Ramadan is you." 601 00:38:02,476 --> 00:38:03,636 Okay, this again! 602 00:38:03,811 --> 00:38:04,971 - I know. - All right. 603 00:38:05,146 --> 00:38:07,171 MC, there's a Mr. Phantom here to see you. 604 00:38:07,348 --> 00:38:09,475 Who's Phantom, a dude trying to be a rapper! 605 00:38:09,650 --> 00:38:12,710 - Because I don't know who that is. - He says he's a killing machine. 606 00:38:13,454 --> 00:38:15,149 Whatever. Okay. 607 00:38:17,458 --> 00:38:19,722 Miss Mariah Carey. 608 00:38:21,062 --> 00:38:24,031 It is a pleasure to meet you. 609 00:38:24,198 --> 00:38:27,759 Thank you. Nice to meet you. Hi, how are you! 610 00:38:27,935 --> 00:38:31,393 Miss Carey, your high notes are so beautiful... 611 00:38:31,572 --> 00:38:35,975 ...like a Scud missile soaring towards its target. 612 00:38:36,677 --> 00:38:38,975 - Thank you. That's really nice. - Thank you. 613 00:38:39,146 --> 00:38:40,841 So you know I'm not dead. 614 00:38:42,483 --> 00:38:44,713 Oh, I sorry I startle. 615 00:38:44,885 --> 00:38:48,753 I was not startle. I saw a bee. 616 00:38:48,923 --> 00:38:51,391 There's a bee! I'm allergic. It's not even funny. 617 00:38:51,559 --> 00:38:54,050 No, no, no. Look. The bee is gone. He's gone. 618 00:38:54,228 --> 00:38:56,492 Mariah, believe me, there's no bee. 619 00:38:56,664 --> 00:38:58,529 I'm allergic. You know I'm allergic. 620 00:38:58,699 --> 00:39:03,500 No, no, no. The bee... Forget the bee. The bee is made up, it's fiction. 621 00:39:03,671 --> 00:39:06,003 It was a black wasp. 622 00:39:06,173 --> 00:39:08,164 - promising me that there was no bee here. 623 00:39:08,342 --> 00:39:10,037 There was no bee. He says the bee... 624 00:39:10,211 --> 00:39:13,442 ...so he can look more like a person who would not scream like this. 625 00:39:13,614 --> 00:39:15,912 - Are you sure! - I promise you. 626 00:39:16,083 --> 00:39:17,414 I beg your cleavage's pardon. 627 00:39:17,585 --> 00:39:22,022 We will be out of your bouncy hair in a jiffy. Is between us. 628 00:39:22,189 --> 00:39:24,851 I was going to kill you tomorrow... 629 00:39:25,026 --> 00:39:31,431 ...but I guess jackass can't wait to die for real. 630 00:39:31,599 --> 00:39:33,260 Do y'all want us to leave! Because we can go. 631 00:39:33,434 --> 00:39:35,095 - No, no, no. - No, no, no. 632 00:39:35,269 --> 00:39:37,965 - We are not even here. - Almost done. Give it a few seconds. 633 00:39:40,041 --> 00:39:42,509 I came here to the States to stop the fighting... 634 00:39:42,677 --> 00:39:44,702 ...but I guess this will never end, eh! 635 00:39:45,813 --> 00:39:49,579 Oh, Zohan does not want to fight anymore. 636 00:39:49,750 --> 00:39:51,240 Scared of bees, huh! 637 00:39:51,419 --> 00:39:54,616 Now I'm afraid of the bees! I'm afraid of the bees! 638 00:39:54,789 --> 00:39:56,916 What! You're the one that brings up the bees. 639 00:39:58,159 --> 00:40:00,684 Your hair. Your hair does not do you justice. 640 00:40:00,861 --> 00:40:03,159 You don't like this hair! I think you're alone on this one. 641 00:40:03,330 --> 00:40:04,797 Everyone else going crazy for it. 642 00:40:04,965 --> 00:40:07,456 I like the 'fro better. 643 00:40:07,635 --> 00:40:08,932 Hang on, I'm getting a call. 644 00:40:11,038 --> 00:40:12,130 Michael, what is! 645 00:40:12,306 --> 00:40:14,467 Zohan? We have a problem here. 646 00:40:14,642 --> 00:40:17,304 - Where you get that! - This is a Sony Ericsson. 647 00:40:17,478 --> 00:40:19,912 - It has Bluetooth! - Of course it has Bluetooth. 648 00:40:20,081 --> 00:40:22,413 I can never figure that Bluetooth shit out, though. 649 00:40:22,583 --> 00:40:25,177 Oh, no, it's very simple. You sync it to your PowerBook. 650 00:40:25,352 --> 00:40:27,980 - Tell her. Phantom will tell you. - Mac or PC! 651 00:40:28,656 --> 00:40:30,817 - Mac. - You have MySpace! 652 00:40:30,991 --> 00:40:33,221 The record company does. It's not really mine. 653 00:40:33,394 --> 00:40:36,363 Please, add me as a friend. 654 00:40:37,164 --> 00:40:38,188 Sure, yeah, yeah. 655 00:40:38,365 --> 00:40:41,357 Sure, as Huge Boner. We'll add you tomorrow. 656 00:40:41,569 --> 00:40:42,661 Michael, what is! 657 00:40:42,837 --> 00:40:49,003 There's a bunch of guys and they are lighting fires and it's getting pretty bad. 658 00:40:51,412 --> 00:40:53,403 No. Stay where you are. 659 00:40:53,581 --> 00:40:55,071 Yeah, we'll stay up here. 660 00:40:55,616 --> 00:40:57,880 - What! Where you go! - I have bigger fish to swim. 661 00:40:58,052 --> 00:41:00,816 - Mariah, I love the newest album. - Thank you. 662 00:41:24,645 --> 00:41:27,170 The Zohan. 663 00:41:30,618 --> 00:41:31,846 My pita shop. 664 00:41:33,788 --> 00:41:35,016 They burned it down. 665 00:41:48,402 --> 00:41:49,733 Why you do this! 666 00:41:49,904 --> 00:41:52,532 We no do this. We at Hacky Sack as much as the next guy. 667 00:41:52,706 --> 00:41:56,472 And I wish that we should do this, after you write that shit on my wall. 668 00:41:58,479 --> 00:42:00,037 Across street! 669 00:42:00,214 --> 00:42:02,739 - Waleed, Waleed. Look, Waleed! - No. My store. 670 00:42:02,917 --> 00:42:07,081 You people ruined my store. You people ruined my store! 671 00:42:12,293 --> 00:42:14,488 What I miss! I was stuck on West Broadway. 672 00:42:14,662 --> 00:42:17,290 The Israeli burned down my store! 673 00:42:17,464 --> 00:42:18,761 No, no, no. 674 00:42:18,933 --> 00:42:20,696 I save store. 675 00:42:20,868 --> 00:42:23,462 Then I kill the Zohan. 676 00:42:25,906 --> 00:42:28,431 Phantom, kick its ass. 677 00:42:28,609 --> 00:42:29,940 Jab it to the right. 678 00:42:30,110 --> 00:42:31,975 Stick and move, Phantom. Stick and move. 679 00:42:32,680 --> 00:42:35,171 He can't do this alone. 680 00:42:38,619 --> 00:42:40,018 Don't back down. Kick its ass. 681 00:43:03,410 --> 00:43:05,378 Phantom. 682 00:43:09,149 --> 00:43:10,514 Why you help me! 683 00:43:11,051 --> 00:43:14,248 Because I'm through with this. 684 00:43:14,421 --> 00:43:15,718 I no more fight. 685 00:43:17,224 --> 00:43:20,557 You do whatever you want, but I no fight back. 686 00:43:21,395 --> 00:43:23,556 It's trick, huh! 687 00:43:23,731 --> 00:43:24,857 No. 688 00:43:27,601 --> 00:43:30,069 - Fight back. - No. 689 00:43:30,237 --> 00:43:33,229 - Fight back! - No. 690 00:43:34,842 --> 00:43:35,968 Fight back, Zohan. 691 00:43:36,143 --> 00:43:38,373 Fight him back. What are you doing! Fight back. 692 00:43:40,514 --> 00:43:41,572 No. 693 00:43:41,749 --> 00:43:45,014 This is not fun for anybody. 694 00:43:45,185 --> 00:43:46,550 Why you not fight back! 695 00:43:46,720 --> 00:43:50,383 Because he know better. He show you he change. 696 00:43:50,791 --> 00:43:51,815 Sister! 697 00:43:51,992 --> 00:43:53,983 When you gonna grow up, Fatoush! 698 00:43:54,161 --> 00:43:55,355 Fatoush! 699 00:43:55,529 --> 00:43:58,191 No, no, no Fatoush. 700 00:43:58,365 --> 00:44:01,892 Is Phantom now. And is my business. 701 00:44:02,069 --> 00:44:04,697 Is my man, Fatoush. 702 00:44:04,872 --> 00:44:06,339 You're my woman! 703 00:44:06,507 --> 00:44:08,031 You Phantom's sister! 704 00:44:08,208 --> 00:44:10,108 You tapping the Zohan! 705 00:44:10,644 --> 00:44:12,475 You settle for a pee-pee touch! 706 00:44:12,646 --> 00:44:15,877 I wouldn't say "settle." It was negotiation. 707 00:44:16,050 --> 00:44:17,278 Fatoush is talking. 708 00:44:18,786 --> 00:44:21,949 Yes. I am Phantom's sister. 709 00:44:23,390 --> 00:44:27,224 And, no, Fatoush, I am not tapping the Zohan. 710 00:44:27,394 --> 00:44:31,296 But I think I love him. 711 00:44:33,767 --> 00:44:35,098 This is good. 712 00:44:35,269 --> 00:44:37,931 Of course you love me. I'm very good man. 713 00:44:41,675 --> 00:44:45,076 Brother, here in America we're the same. 714 00:44:45,245 --> 00:44:49,113 We just people trying to get jobs cutting hair, driving cabs... 715 00:44:49,283 --> 00:44:51,274 ...selling crappy stereo equipment. 716 00:44:51,452 --> 00:44:53,545 - Hey. Is Sony guts. - Whatever. 717 00:44:53,721 --> 00:44:58,749 The point is, we are thousands of miles away from all this hate... 718 00:44:58,926 --> 00:45:01,588 ...and we live together just fine. 719 00:45:01,762 --> 00:45:03,320 We do. 720 00:45:04,932 --> 00:45:06,092 We do. 721 00:45:06,266 --> 00:45:11,169 Come on, people. Where is the hate! Anyone! 722 00:45:11,672 --> 00:45:13,503 - I resent. - Resent is good. 723 00:45:13,674 --> 00:45:14,971 What! What do you resent! 724 00:45:15,142 --> 00:45:16,234 People don't like us. 725 00:45:16,410 --> 00:45:19,504 Come on, is not easy for us. People don't like us too. 726 00:45:19,680 --> 00:45:23,309 - Why! - Because they think we are you. 727 00:45:24,785 --> 00:45:27,151 We do look alike. You got to admit this. Come on. 728 00:45:28,088 --> 00:45:30,682 Waleed looks Mexican, to be honest. 729 00:45:31,892 --> 00:45:33,120 Yeah, he do. 730 00:45:34,795 --> 00:45:36,854 You know, ever since the stupid terrorists... 731 00:45:37,031 --> 00:45:38,794 ...everyone think we are terrorists. 732 00:45:38,966 --> 00:45:40,866 Look, Bashir, no offense... 733 00:45:41,035 --> 00:45:44,266 ...but if you sat next to me on a plane, I might want to get off too. 734 00:45:47,207 --> 00:45:48,435 He's right. 735 00:45:48,609 --> 00:45:53,046 But how could I not hate when you stole my goat! 736 00:45:53,881 --> 00:45:56,372 I am sorry about your goat. 737 00:45:56,550 --> 00:46:00,384 He was a good goat. I treat him like member of the family. 738 00:46:01,922 --> 00:46:04,390 - Really! - Yes. 739 00:46:04,558 --> 00:46:07,618 Did you rub his chin! 740 00:46:07,795 --> 00:46:09,763 Like this! 741 00:46:09,930 --> 00:46:13,889 Yes, sometimes for hours. He would make face if I stop. 742 00:46:14,068 --> 00:46:15,558 He make the face! 743 00:46:15,736 --> 00:46:18,603 Oh, the face. The face. 744 00:46:18,772 --> 00:46:21,297 That's it, that's it. That looks just like him. 745 00:46:21,475 --> 00:46:25,138 As long as he was happy. 746 00:46:25,312 --> 00:46:26,904 Is good. Very happy. 747 00:46:29,817 --> 00:46:31,682 Holy shichumetz. 748 00:46:31,852 --> 00:46:33,479 I see what is. 749 00:46:36,889 --> 00:46:38,584 Those are cool. Who make this! 750 00:47:05,952 --> 00:47:09,080 You see this! Bastard landlord. 751 00:47:09,255 --> 00:47:10,654 He tell us go to Hacky Sack... 752 00:47:10,823 --> 00:47:13,485 ...so he can make it look like we burn each other's store. 753 00:47:13,659 --> 00:47:15,854 To make us look like we enemies. 754 00:47:16,028 --> 00:47:17,552 This the real enemy. 755 00:47:18,664 --> 00:47:21,030 I thought the whole place was going down. 756 00:47:21,200 --> 00:47:22,531 Oh, we're waiting on them, sir. 757 00:47:22,702 --> 00:47:28,698 We're drawing them closer, like a fat queer to a dick sandwich. 758 00:47:30,376 --> 00:47:32,071 Aharon, get weapons from truck. 759 00:47:32,245 --> 00:47:34,372 No, no, no. I wanna minimize collateral damage. 760 00:47:34,547 --> 00:47:36,412 - I do this alone. - I do this alone. 761 00:47:36,582 --> 00:47:38,482 - We do this together. - I go myself. 762 00:47:38,651 --> 00:47:42,644 No, no, no. Listen. Come on, already, big guy. 763 00:47:42,822 --> 00:47:44,983 Let it go. We're on the same side, here. 764 00:47:45,158 --> 00:47:47,023 Don't "big guy" me, big guy. 765 00:47:47,193 --> 00:47:49,559 Look, you think I didn't want to run like you did! 766 00:47:49,729 --> 00:47:51,856 - Is no pressure here. - What! 767 00:47:52,031 --> 00:47:57,128 Listen, all I ever wanted since high school was to go to States and... 768 00:47:57,303 --> 00:48:00,568 - What! - This hard to say. 769 00:48:00,740 --> 00:48:02,833 Tell me, what is! 770 00:48:04,310 --> 00:48:06,141 And sell shoes. 771 00:48:06,312 --> 00:48:08,007 I love shoes. 772 00:48:08,181 --> 00:48:11,947 No. That's great. I love to cut hair. 773 00:48:12,118 --> 00:48:13,779 There is nothing wrong with that. 774 00:48:13,953 --> 00:48:15,284 - Tell my parents. - I hear you. 775 00:48:15,455 --> 00:48:18,356 - They don't understand. - Parents, they never do, huh! 776 00:48:18,524 --> 00:48:21,891 - Never do. They think they're clever... - You guys going, or what! 777 00:48:22,428 --> 00:48:24,259 - Yes. Okay, we go. - Yes. We go. 778 00:48:24,430 --> 00:48:25,761 Come on, let's go. 779 00:48:25,932 --> 00:48:27,627 Soup's on, boys. 780 00:48:27,800 --> 00:48:29,631 Hell, yeah! 781 00:48:34,540 --> 00:48:35,939 What kind of shoes you like! 782 00:48:36,108 --> 00:48:38,804 You know, Rockport, Ferragamo, the classics. 783 00:48:44,283 --> 00:48:47,309 You should maybe try Hugo Boss, huh! 784 00:48:47,487 --> 00:48:49,614 No, no, no. They always cover the toes. 785 00:48:49,789 --> 00:48:51,814 You stylist, you buy some style shoes. 786 00:48:51,991 --> 00:48:55,154 Oh, yes, but I'm looking for function too. 787 00:48:55,328 --> 00:48:58,320 Try mine. It's Kenneth Cole. 788 00:48:58,498 --> 00:49:00,432 Square toe. 789 00:49:01,734 --> 00:49:02,860 It is nice. 790 00:49:03,035 --> 00:49:05,265 This is a fashion but you can wear to work also. 791 00:49:06,472 --> 00:49:08,633 Yes. Hey, to be honest, it's a little tight. 792 00:49:08,808 --> 00:49:11,936 - Let me measure. - If you could. 793 00:49:12,111 --> 00:49:14,136 I'm ready for you. 794 00:49:14,313 --> 00:49:16,508 Okay, checking the width. 795 00:49:16,682 --> 00:49:18,616 Triple E. 796 00:49:18,784 --> 00:49:20,217 This is a big foot, huh! 797 00:49:20,386 --> 00:49:21,512 You win again. 798 00:49:21,687 --> 00:49:23,814 Is not a competition. 799 00:49:23,990 --> 00:49:25,981 I do need to cut my nails. 800 00:49:26,158 --> 00:49:28,058 We don't know what set off this fight. 801 00:49:28,227 --> 00:49:30,923 It's apparently between Middle-Eastern merchants. 802 00:49:31,097 --> 00:49:34,555 - Let's get some insight. - They is no Middle East. Is all fake. 803 00:49:34,734 --> 00:49:37,532 Is the landlord, the Walbridge guy. He pay... 804 00:49:37,703 --> 00:49:40,194 Excuse me. Grant Walbridge, the developer? 805 00:49:40,373 --> 00:49:41,465 Damn it! 806 00:49:41,641 --> 00:49:44,804 Mariah Carey, I love you. I love you. 807 00:49:44,977 --> 00:49:48,310 I find you, Mariah. I come to where you are. 808 00:49:48,481 --> 00:49:51,882 I love you too, horny little man. Buy my new album. 809 00:49:56,822 --> 00:49:58,949 Zohan. He has a bomb. 810 00:50:00,793 --> 00:50:03,125 - And puppies. - No. 811 00:50:03,296 --> 00:50:04,786 I'm gonna blow up this block. 812 00:50:04,964 --> 00:50:08,229 I'm gonna blow you up, I'm gonna blow up these puppies... 813 00:50:08,401 --> 00:50:11,802 ...and we all going to hell together, because I hate these puppies. 814 00:50:11,971 --> 00:50:15,031 We have no time. We have to make the sonic power, quick. 815 00:50:15,207 --> 00:50:18,176 - You mean the sound! - Yes. 816 00:50:18,344 --> 00:50:22,644 But Arab and Jews have not made sound for thousands of years. 817 00:50:22,815 --> 00:50:25,682 - Now is time, my friend. - Thirty seconds. 818 00:50:25,851 --> 00:50:30,185 You can't do nothing about it, Rabbi Towelhead. 819 00:50:35,161 --> 00:50:37,629 No, no, no. Let me take the melody, you go harmony. 820 00:50:37,797 --> 00:50:39,662 - Yes. Okay, okay. - Here we go. 821 00:51:06,092 --> 00:51:09,061 Well, hello, stranger. 822 00:51:09,228 --> 00:51:11,287 Care for some chips! 823 00:51:13,399 --> 00:51:14,798 Puppies! 824 00:51:14,967 --> 00:51:18,061 That dog is incredibly cute. Did you bring that dog! 825 00:51:18,237 --> 00:51:19,932 Barry Manilow used to have a beagle... 826 00:51:25,044 --> 00:51:29,481 Listen, I'm Grant Walbridge. This is all a mistake and... 827 00:51:35,388 --> 00:51:37,253 Keep it together. Keep it together. 828 00:51:41,794 --> 00:51:43,819 No! 829 00:51:45,197 --> 00:51:47,324 My life is ruined. 830 00:51:47,500 --> 00:51:48,990 They were perfect. 831 00:51:49,168 --> 00:51:50,795 The ratio. 832 00:51:50,970 --> 00:51:52,232 Why! 833 00:51:54,940 --> 00:51:56,601 No, no, no. Stop. 834 00:51:59,979 --> 00:52:03,415 What the heck are you doing! Why you do this! 835 00:52:03,582 --> 00:52:06,949 Sorry. Sorry. I got excited. 836 00:52:07,119 --> 00:52:10,213 Okay, we fix. We make mall, but this... 837 00:52:10,389 --> 00:52:13,847 It's fine. Yes, it's fine. We'll be fine. 838 00:52:14,026 --> 00:52:16,153 It's all b'seder. 839 00:52:27,640 --> 00:52:30,871 Goat rides! Everybody, goat ride. 840 00:52:31,043 --> 00:52:33,534 The most wonderful goat in the world. 841 00:52:37,683 --> 00:52:40,652 You come. Come, come. Come on. Come on, now. Give ride. 842 00:52:47,059 --> 00:52:49,391 I'm almost done. 843 00:52:49,562 --> 00:52:52,053 - I love it. - Yes, of course you do. 844 00:52:52,231 --> 00:52:54,131 I had fun shampooing your hair... 845 00:52:54,300 --> 00:52:57,497 ...but I'd rather be licking it off those melons. 846 00:52:57,870 --> 00:52:59,394 I knew he had it in him. 847 00:52:59,572 --> 00:53:02,700 Yeah, he sounds like his mother. 848 00:53:02,875 --> 00:53:05,742 Maybe I'll bleach your nipples and slap you in your face. 849 00:53:05,911 --> 00:53:09,074 - Oh, now he's gone too far. - That was disturbing. Too much. 850 00:53:09,248 --> 00:53:11,944 Zohan! Can you help this woman, please. 851 00:53:12,118 --> 00:53:14,780 Of course, motek. You know, if I was not married to you... 852 00:53:14,954 --> 00:53:18,390 ...this is the kind of bootachem I would go all night long w... 853 00:53:18,557 --> 00:53:20,184 Hello, Zohan. 854 00:53:22,228 --> 00:53:25,220 So this is where you work! 855 00:53:27,299 --> 00:53:29,267 Yes, Abba. 856 00:53:29,435 --> 00:53:33,098 And this is your Palestinian wife! 857 00:53:35,107 --> 00:53:36,597 Yes, Abba. 858 00:53:38,444 --> 00:53:40,207 Does she know you're a fagala? 859 00:53:42,381 --> 00:53:43,780 I see. This is because... 860 00:53:43,949 --> 00:53:45,746 Congratulations. 861 00:53:45,918 --> 00:53:47,613 Now, cut my hair. 862 00:53:47,787 --> 00:53:50,051 Yes. Yes. Yes. 863 00:53:50,222 --> 00:53:54,007 I love it. Please. 864 00:56:54,008 --> 00:56:55,008 Subtitles by LeapinLar