1 00:01:17,043 --> 00:01:19,238 IAN: Shall we? MAURICE: We shall. 2 00:01:21,648 --> 00:01:26,676 Oh, my God. Now what have I got today? 3 00:01:27,754 --> 00:01:29,915 Oh. Mmm. 4 00:01:30,690 --> 00:01:33,716 You should try these. You'II never wake up. 5 00:01:33,827 --> 00:01:36,261 It's the waking up pills I'm Iooking for. 6 00:01:36,362 --> 00:01:39,354 Anything blue, I recommend for that. 7 00:01:39,732 --> 00:01:42,394 White ones give me more of a thrill. 8 00:01:42,669 --> 00:01:43,727 Mmm. 9 00:01:43,837 --> 00:01:46,237 -Cheers. -There we are. 10 00:01:46,339 --> 00:01:50,070 "Do not operate heavy machinery. 11 00:01:50,176 --> 00:01:52,542 "Keep away from children." 12 00:01:52,612 --> 00:01:54,443 Biblical advice. 13 00:01:54,547 --> 00:01:55,912 WOMAN: There you go, gentlemen. 14 00:01:56,015 --> 00:01:58,415 -IAN: Thank you. -Excellent, my dear. 15 00:01:59,719 --> 00:02:03,052 -Have you got my glasses? -No, you've got them. 16 00:02:03,123 --> 00:02:07,025 Why would I have them? I'm not wearing them, am I? 17 00:02:07,093 --> 00:02:09,186 Christ, I've Iost them now!. 18 00:02:09,262 --> 00:02:11,287 That's the worst thing that's ever happened... 19 00:02:11,397 --> 00:02:13,592 They're in your right hand. 20 00:02:15,135 --> 00:02:16,261 Oh, yeah. 21 00:02:16,369 --> 00:02:19,031 You wouldn't Iast five minutes without me. 22 00:02:19,105 --> 00:02:20,265 I'm getting help. 23 00:02:20,373 --> 00:02:22,864 -Professional? -My niece's girl. 24 00:02:24,611 --> 00:02:28,240 MAURICE: Have you worked out what the girl will actually do? 25 00:02:28,314 --> 00:02:31,112 She'II shop and cook for me. 26 00:02:31,217 --> 00:02:33,947 -A sort of nurse, then? -No uniform. 27 00:02:35,155 --> 00:02:37,487 Don't give yourself a coronary. 28 00:02:37,590 --> 00:02:43,620 At the hospital they said if I'm clear in five years, I'm safe. 29 00:02:44,297 --> 00:02:48,893 I said, "By then I'II be drinking with Jesus." 30 00:02:48,968 --> 00:02:52,096 He's Iooking forward to meeting you. He Ioved your Polonius. 31 00:02:52,172 --> 00:02:54,766 But he found your Caesar a Iittle weak. 32 00:02:54,841 --> 00:02:56,968 IAN: Weak? MAURICE: A Iittle... 33 00:02:57,076 --> 00:02:58,236 -What? -...fruity. 34 00:02:58,311 --> 00:03:02,304 IAN: No, he fucking didn't. Did he? Fruity? 35 00:03:02,415 --> 00:03:05,976 What the fuck? Fruity!. Fucking fruit. 36 00:03:06,920 --> 00:03:09,320 MAURICE: I'm parched. How about a drink? 37 00:03:09,422 --> 00:03:13,085 This isn't a pub. I've got to get her room ready. 38 00:03:13,626 --> 00:03:15,355 Can I help? 39 00:03:15,461 --> 00:03:16,587 God, no. 40 00:03:16,663 --> 00:03:20,155 No, don't flap it about Iike that, Maurice. 41 00:03:20,667 --> 00:03:22,658 I'm getting wind rash. 42 00:03:23,303 --> 00:03:27,706 -I'II tuck it in, you'II tire yourself. -She'II suffocate in there. 43 00:03:27,807 --> 00:03:31,265 There's no reason for her to move around unnecessarily at night. 44 00:03:31,344 --> 00:03:35,144 -Not unless she needs to attend to me. -In what way? 45 00:03:35,949 --> 00:03:38,679 I've bought a Iittle bell to put beside my bed. 46 00:03:38,785 --> 00:03:40,150 (BELL TINKLING) 47 00:03:40,220 --> 00:03:44,486 If I feel unwell, I can tinkle it. See? 48 00:03:46,159 --> 00:03:49,151 I bet she can't wait to hear that Iittle tinkle. 49 00:03:49,229 --> 00:03:51,823 I've bought her a pink towel, too. 50 00:03:51,898 --> 00:03:54,765 So there's no confusion in the bathroom. 51 00:03:54,867 --> 00:03:57,097 No, you wouldn't want that. 52 00:03:58,504 --> 00:03:59,732 No. 53 00:04:01,441 --> 00:04:05,207 And in case she wants something to read, I got her these. 54 00:04:06,012 --> 00:04:08,344 MAURICE: Fucking Edith Wharton. 55 00:04:08,414 --> 00:04:11,042 IAN: I really want to educate the girl, Maurice. 56 00:04:11,117 --> 00:04:12,778 Pass something on. 57 00:04:12,885 --> 00:04:14,352 Yes, dear. 58 00:04:15,455 --> 00:04:17,514 She Ioves music. 59 00:04:17,590 --> 00:04:21,788 While we're eating, I thought we could Iisten to the St. Matthew Passion. 60 00:04:21,894 --> 00:04:23,020 Lovely. 61 00:04:23,096 --> 00:04:27,396 No doubt it'II be tomato soup and a temazepam for you. 62 00:04:27,467 --> 00:04:28,559 No doubt. 63 00:04:28,635 --> 00:04:31,035 Shall I get her to run a nice bath 64 00:04:31,104 --> 00:04:34,369 and put my dressing-gown on the radiator? 65 00:04:35,608 --> 00:04:38,873 I hope she can do a rocket salad. 66 00:04:39,646 --> 00:04:42,308 Or something interesting with fish. 67 00:04:49,989 --> 00:04:52,753 DOCTOR: Going anywhere nice for the holidays? 68 00:04:53,760 --> 00:04:56,092 (MAURICE MUMBLING) 69 00:04:56,162 --> 00:04:58,630 -Where? -Piranha fish. 70 00:04:58,731 --> 00:05:00,460 Fantastic. 71 00:05:00,566 --> 00:05:03,660 Right, Maurice, deep breath for me now. 72 00:05:03,770 --> 00:05:05,260 And, there we go. 73 00:05:05,338 --> 00:05:06,635 (GROANING) 74 00:05:06,739 --> 00:05:11,802 Easy but not necessarily nice. Uncomfortable? That's quite normal. 75 00:05:11,911 --> 00:05:13,811 Feel the same myself. 76 00:05:14,814 --> 00:05:18,272 Everything all right otherwise? Life treating you well? 77 00:05:18,351 --> 00:05:20,751 -Jesus Christ. -Good. 78 00:05:22,855 --> 00:05:27,485 The prostate should feel Iike a peach with a groove down the center. 79 00:05:27,593 --> 00:05:28,821 Yours is a Iittle bumpy. 80 00:05:28,928 --> 00:05:31,522 There might be a small nodule in there, but it could easily be nothing. 81 00:05:31,631 --> 00:05:34,498 So we need to send you to a specialist. 82 00:05:35,368 --> 00:05:38,496 A Iot of older men have this problem. It rarely kills them. 83 00:05:38,604 --> 00:05:41,129 They die of something else first. 84 00:05:41,841 --> 00:05:43,103 Right. 85 00:05:43,176 --> 00:05:46,202 So you should worry a Iittle but not a Iot. 86 00:05:46,813 --> 00:05:47,939 Now then... 87 00:05:48,481 --> 00:05:51,348 WOMAN 1 : Not after Iast year. I made that quite clear. 88 00:05:51,451 --> 00:05:52,509 WOMAN 2: Good on you. 89 00:05:52,618 --> 00:05:55,610 WOMAN 1 : In the end, there was such a stream of... You know. 90 00:05:55,688 --> 00:05:58,782 -Really? -Yeah. Coming and going, and all that. 91 00:05:58,858 --> 00:06:00,655 I felt Iike standing outside and shouting, 92 00:06:00,727 --> 00:06:02,319 "Another warm body for my friend." 93 00:06:02,395 --> 00:06:04,363 -You should have done. -Yeah, I know. Excuse me. 94 00:06:04,464 --> 00:06:06,955 That's fine. AII done. Can you put your finger on that, please? 95 00:06:07,033 --> 00:06:08,227 WOMAN 1 : Hello. How are we today? 96 00:06:19,412 --> 00:06:22,074 Come on, old man! 97 00:06:24,751 --> 00:06:27,845 (HUMMING) 98 00:06:53,946 --> 00:06:56,710 IAN: Thank Christ you're here. MAURICE: What's up? 99 00:06:57,784 --> 00:07:03,154 Horrible, horrible, foul and vile beyond belief. 100 00:07:03,723 --> 00:07:05,315 What an upset. 101 00:07:07,460 --> 00:07:10,156 Was the bath too cold or the towel too hot? 102 00:07:10,263 --> 00:07:15,064 -Was the fish overcooked? -Fish? Fish? Fish? 103 00:07:15,134 --> 00:07:18,331 I'd have been Iucky to get a fish finger 104 00:07:18,438 --> 00:07:21,635 inserted into my rectum. 105 00:07:21,741 --> 00:07:23,834 -Good God! -God, Maurice. 106 00:07:23,943 --> 00:07:25,137 What's gone wrong? 107 00:07:25,244 --> 00:07:30,807 It's hardly been 24 hours, already I'm screaming for euthanasia. 108 00:07:45,965 --> 00:07:48,365 -Shouldn't you be getting ready? -For what? 109 00:07:48,468 --> 00:07:49,992 The theater. 110 00:07:50,603 --> 00:07:53,037 Oh, God, yes. 111 00:07:53,139 --> 00:07:55,801 Yes. Let's Ieave immediately. 112 00:07:57,844 --> 00:07:59,641 I'II just change. 113 00:08:04,183 --> 00:08:06,515 Let's hope it's a Iong play. 114 00:08:09,322 --> 00:08:11,688 You've never said that before. 115 00:08:45,091 --> 00:08:46,649 I'm Maurice. 116 00:08:49,862 --> 00:08:51,227 Maurice. 117 00:08:53,199 --> 00:08:54,393 You? 118 00:08:56,569 --> 00:08:57,763 Can I? 119 00:09:00,439 --> 00:09:05,399 You will find I usually call around this time, for a Iittle drinkie. 120 00:09:06,579 --> 00:09:10,379 I Iike whiskey with a whisker of water. 121 00:09:10,449 --> 00:09:14,078 No more than a whisker, mind you. That ruins it. 122 00:09:15,087 --> 00:09:17,055 It's called "drowning." 123 00:09:20,359 --> 00:09:21,758 Drowning. 124 00:09:22,628 --> 00:09:25,062 Do you know how to mix drinks? 125 00:09:25,531 --> 00:09:29,399 Once acquired, it's a talent that will serve you for Iife. 126 00:09:30,403 --> 00:09:32,371 Like typing. 127 00:09:39,779 --> 00:09:41,371 (MAN CHATTERING ON TV) 128 00:09:41,447 --> 00:09:45,543 So, what are you doing? 129 00:09:46,719 --> 00:09:50,621 -In London, I mean. -Looking for work. 130 00:09:50,723 --> 00:09:54,022 -What sort of work? -Work. 131 00:09:55,094 --> 00:09:58,359 -You know, work. -Yes, yes, I know all about it. 132 00:09:59,532 --> 00:10:01,830 Any particular kind? 133 00:10:01,934 --> 00:10:05,165 -Modeling. -There can't be much call for that. 134 00:10:05,805 --> 00:10:07,966 -Call for what? -Yodeling. 135 00:10:08,040 --> 00:10:12,977 Not yodeling! Yodeling? Modeling! You know. 136 00:10:18,050 --> 00:10:19,677 You know anyone in the modeling field? 137 00:10:19,785 --> 00:10:22,219 Yes. I know everyone. 138 00:10:25,625 --> 00:10:28,185 Do you have a fallback position? 139 00:10:29,061 --> 00:10:30,221 No. 140 00:10:31,497 --> 00:10:33,522 -No, I don't need one. -Right. 141 00:10:33,633 --> 00:10:37,125 -Are you saying I do? -No. I wouldn't say that. 142 00:10:39,372 --> 00:10:41,465 -No. -No? Good. 143 00:10:48,214 --> 00:10:52,674 I'm thirsty now. Can I have a beer? I told him to get me some in. 144 00:10:52,752 --> 00:10:56,313 -What did he say? -He said it were a slippery slope. 145 00:11:02,495 --> 00:11:03,553 Oh! 146 00:11:15,941 --> 00:11:17,101 (CLEARS THROAT) 147 00:11:20,046 --> 00:11:21,206 MAURICE: Ian? 148 00:11:28,788 --> 00:11:31,382 MAURICE: It won't be as good as Celebrity Love Island, 149 00:11:31,457 --> 00:11:32,788 but it will be live. 150 00:11:33,292 --> 00:11:35,556 -Live? -You might enjoy it. 151 00:11:46,739 --> 00:11:50,140 -Can't we go and see Lion King? -What a good idea. 152 00:11:51,977 --> 00:11:55,140 WOMAN 1 : Come on, you minger! WOMAN 2: What a mess you've made. 153 00:11:55,247 --> 00:11:56,714 Oh, God! 154 00:11:57,750 --> 00:11:58,944 No! 155 00:11:59,652 --> 00:12:02,052 No, no! 156 00:12:02,121 --> 00:12:05,420 Stupid cunt. You're in the biggest trouble of your Iife. 157 00:12:05,491 --> 00:12:06,924 Come on. 158 00:12:07,593 --> 00:12:10,926 Don't make me stand here on my own, you cunts! 159 00:12:11,597 --> 00:12:13,326 I can't stand it. 160 00:12:13,966 --> 00:12:18,801 -WOMAN 1 : Come with us. -Now I've got no one. 161 00:12:18,904 --> 00:12:20,633 WOMAN 2: Get a minder. 162 00:12:20,740 --> 00:12:23,675 I so Ioved you in the Dickens the other night. 163 00:12:23,776 --> 00:12:25,107 You noticed me? 164 00:12:25,177 --> 00:12:29,580 Don't be silly, of course I did. You were very funny and clever. 165 00:12:29,648 --> 00:12:31,081 Thank you. 166 00:12:31,817 --> 00:12:34,342 -Jillian? -Yeah, Jillian. 167 00:12:39,759 --> 00:12:42,489 -You're famous? -A Iittle bit. 168 00:12:42,595 --> 00:12:45,086 -What's your name again? -Maurice. 169 00:12:45,898 --> 00:12:47,593 Maurice Russell. 170 00:12:48,134 --> 00:12:49,601 Oh, right. 171 00:12:49,769 --> 00:12:51,327 (BELL RINGING) 172 00:12:53,439 --> 00:12:54,633 Isn't it the end? 173 00:12:54,740 --> 00:12:58,107 It's never the end when you go to the theater, I'm afraid. 174 00:12:58,177 --> 00:13:01,078 -Come on. -Are you taking me somewhere? 175 00:13:02,281 --> 00:13:04,272 -Yeah. -How wonderful. 176 00:13:07,353 --> 00:13:08,445 (R&B MUSIC PLAYING) 177 00:13:08,521 --> 00:13:11,684 JESSIE: I'II have a Bacardi Breezer. MAURICE: Me, too. 178 00:13:12,792 --> 00:13:14,919 MAURICE: What is it? JESSIE: It's red. 179 00:13:15,628 --> 00:13:16,993 MAURICE: Oh, good. 180 00:13:18,597 --> 00:13:19,996 Like wine? 181 00:13:20,099 --> 00:13:21,361 JESSIE: Is it? 182 00:13:24,603 --> 00:13:26,833 Getting on well with Uncle Ian? 183 00:13:26,939 --> 00:13:30,466 -Do you know anything about fish? -Fuck all, my dear. 184 00:13:30,543 --> 00:13:32,841 -You? -Fuck all. 185 00:13:34,280 --> 00:13:37,681 -You could consult a book. -A book? 186 00:13:37,783 --> 00:13:42,482 Yeah, you know, two flaps of cardboard with printed pages in between. 187 00:13:43,823 --> 00:13:47,554 -Do you read a Iot? -Only when there's no one to talk to. 188 00:13:52,298 --> 00:13:55,131 That went down a treat. Another? 189 00:14:00,706 --> 00:14:03,698 -I'II Iet you get me one more. -Oh, thank you. 190 00:14:05,311 --> 00:14:06,573 Excuse me. 191 00:14:08,314 --> 00:14:11,340 JESSIE: I think you're sweating on me. I think it's gone in me mouth. 192 00:14:11,417 --> 00:14:14,409 -I'm sure you've swallowed worse. -Oh, shit. 193 00:14:16,856 --> 00:14:18,983 JESSIE: I think I'm gonna be sick. 194 00:15:04,370 --> 00:15:07,237 Come on. Come on, Jessie. 195 00:15:07,306 --> 00:15:08,739 Nearly there. 196 00:15:10,075 --> 00:15:11,133 There you go. 197 00:15:11,243 --> 00:15:12,369 (EXCLAIMS) 198 00:15:36,969 --> 00:15:38,630 (BELL TINKLING) 199 00:15:38,737 --> 00:15:40,466 (MAURICE LAUGHING) 200 00:15:44,843 --> 00:15:47,903 MAURICE: Oh, fuck! Jesus! 201 00:15:49,848 --> 00:15:54,251 -Dad? Dad. Don't Ieave us. -He's going. He's going. 202 00:15:54,320 --> 00:15:57,187 MAN: No. Goodbye. Goodbye. 203 00:15:57,289 --> 00:15:58,847 Goodbye, Dad. 204 00:15:59,491 --> 00:16:00,856 MAN 2: And cut. 205 00:16:01,360 --> 00:16:04,022 -Very good. -MAN 3: AII right, thanks, everybody. 206 00:16:18,944 --> 00:16:22,380 -Are you okay? -I think I'm going to die. 207 00:16:22,481 --> 00:16:26,679 You can't die yet, Maurice, we haven't shot them carrying the body out yet. 208 00:16:28,687 --> 00:16:30,348 (CHUCKLING) 209 00:16:32,558 --> 00:16:34,025 Hello, mate. 210 00:16:38,630 --> 00:16:40,188 Here you are, Mr. Russell, as requested. 211 00:16:40,299 --> 00:16:42,164 Thanks, old chap. 212 00:16:42,234 --> 00:16:45,203 And may I take some of these cakes? 213 00:16:45,304 --> 00:16:47,738 Sure, why not? I'II pack some up for you. 214 00:16:47,840 --> 00:16:49,307 Thank you. 215 00:17:08,360 --> 00:17:11,158 I'm in such pain, dear, I don't want to Iive. 216 00:17:11,230 --> 00:17:12,754 Yes, you do. 217 00:17:13,365 --> 00:17:15,925 AImost all of us want you to Iive. 218 00:17:24,376 --> 00:17:26,674 I have to have an operation. 219 00:17:27,546 --> 00:17:29,537 -What is it? -Prostate. 220 00:17:31,450 --> 00:17:35,079 -I'm sure it's just routine. -Maurice, I'm so sorry. 221 00:17:36,422 --> 00:17:40,051 You've always wanted to remove my balls surgically. 222 00:17:40,125 --> 00:17:42,525 These cakes are awfully nice. 223 00:17:44,029 --> 00:17:45,360 Action. 224 00:17:47,566 --> 00:17:48,726 Bravo. 225 00:17:48,801 --> 00:17:52,635 I've been at it Iike a dog all day. I'm utterly broken. 226 00:17:52,738 --> 00:17:55,468 -What were you playing? -A corpse, more or Iess. 227 00:17:55,574 --> 00:17:57,235 Typecast again. 228 00:17:57,309 --> 00:17:58,571 (CHUCKLING) 229 00:18:02,948 --> 00:18:06,213 Here. I asked them for cash. 230 00:18:06,952 --> 00:18:08,817 Well, not all of it. 231 00:18:10,289 --> 00:18:11,551 PIease, take it. 232 00:18:11,623 --> 00:18:14,956 Put it towards the boiler, it gets cold in here. 233 00:18:18,764 --> 00:18:21,232 The whole thing's useless. 234 00:18:23,602 --> 00:18:27,800 It's all got to be replaced, Maurice, the radiators, everything. 235 00:18:28,273 --> 00:18:32,073 -The man came yesterday. -I owe you thousands. 236 00:18:34,146 --> 00:18:38,606 Over the years, you've been more than generous. 237 00:18:38,684 --> 00:18:41,175 -I haven't forgotten. -No. 238 00:18:43,021 --> 00:18:45,421 Can't the children contribute? 239 00:18:45,491 --> 00:18:48,654 Can't we Iook after ourselves in our old age? 240 00:19:02,174 --> 00:19:03,641 (EXCLAIMING) 241 00:19:03,709 --> 00:19:06,109 -Sammy's gone. -He has? 242 00:19:06,178 --> 00:19:07,975 -Yeah. -Christ. 243 00:19:08,046 --> 00:19:10,776 Big picture of him here as a handsome young spunker. 244 00:19:10,849 --> 00:19:13,340 -Another one down. -Yeah. 245 00:19:16,054 --> 00:19:18,648 I wonder how many Iines I'II get? 246 00:19:19,892 --> 00:19:21,359 A paragraph. 247 00:19:23,629 --> 00:19:25,563 Lo, here comes Caesar. 248 00:19:25,998 --> 00:19:27,329 And moving rather rapidly 249 00:19:27,399 --> 00:19:30,800 for someone who's just picked up his disability check. 250 00:19:31,970 --> 00:19:33,335 Oh, God. 251 00:19:33,805 --> 00:19:36,000 -Hello, Iove. -Hello, Donald. 252 00:19:36,074 --> 00:19:38,406 Thank Christ she's asleep now. 253 00:19:38,510 --> 00:19:42,310 She's drunk all my best Stoli and the Scotch! 254 00:19:42,381 --> 00:19:47,614 She even put away the Drambuie I was saving for your Christmas visit. 255 00:19:47,686 --> 00:19:49,551 God, no? 256 00:19:49,655 --> 00:19:53,113 I bought this Iovely bit of halibut yesterday, 257 00:19:53,192 --> 00:19:55,023 but she didn't know what to do with it. 258 00:19:55,127 --> 00:19:56,185 Dear Jesus. 259 00:19:56,295 --> 00:20:02,859 Her notion of cooking is to stick a plate of virtual sick into the microwave. 260 00:20:02,968 --> 00:20:05,402 -Well, can't you call the police? -That's a very good idea. 261 00:20:05,504 --> 00:20:07,734 Oh, or just kill them, kill the young. 262 00:20:07,839 --> 00:20:10,831 Exterminate their disgusting happiness and hope. 263 00:20:10,909 --> 00:20:15,471 This is not fucking funny! I've got high blood pressure. 264 00:20:15,547 --> 00:20:18,482 I could die at any moment. 265 00:20:18,550 --> 00:20:22,816 -Why doesn't she just go back home? -I rang my niece. I begged her. 266 00:20:22,888 --> 00:20:24,913 I wept more than Antigone. 267 00:20:25,023 --> 00:20:28,720 I said I'd pay for the taxi to wherever, you know. 268 00:20:28,827 --> 00:20:32,354 Martha said there is no job in the countryside. 269 00:20:32,431 --> 00:20:34,991 There must be some demand for barmaids and prostitutes. 270 00:20:35,067 --> 00:20:39,697 Yeah, I mean, even in the country they need young women to Iap dance. 271 00:20:39,771 --> 00:20:41,329 -What? What? -What do you know about that? 272 00:20:41,406 --> 00:20:42,737 You can Iearn a Iot from the television. 273 00:20:42,841 --> 00:20:46,538 Look, the fact is Martha just doesn't want her back. 274 00:20:46,612 --> 00:20:49,581 But to unleash her on us Iike this, you know. 275 00:20:49,681 --> 00:20:51,410 -Maliciously. -MAURICE: Exactly. 276 00:20:51,516 --> 00:20:54,076 -It's pure evil. -DONALD: Of course it is. 277 00:20:54,186 --> 00:20:56,848 -Evil. -Did your niece do it deliberately? 278 00:20:56,922 --> 00:21:00,187 What? What? You men are Iaughing at me. 279 00:21:00,592 --> 00:21:04,426 -Let's think about this collectively. -Yeah, please, please, please. 280 00:21:04,529 --> 00:21:06,520 -Thank you. -We hate to see you suffer, Ian. 281 00:21:06,598 --> 00:21:10,466 Oh, please, Maurice, you're fond of women, all women, 282 00:21:10,569 --> 00:21:13,697 and you're resourceful. Help me. 283 00:21:13,772 --> 00:21:16,366 You couldn't have come to a better man. 284 00:21:16,441 --> 00:21:18,466 A scientist of the female heart. 285 00:21:18,577 --> 00:21:21,102 -A professor of pussy. -That's it. 286 00:21:21,213 --> 00:21:24,979 Fucking shut it, Donald! You're really getting on my nerves! 287 00:21:25,083 --> 00:21:27,950 "Fucking shut it, Donald! You're really getting on my nerves!" 288 00:21:28,053 --> 00:21:30,715 -Fucking shut it. -Fucking shut it! 289 00:21:31,089 --> 00:21:32,317 (KNOCKING ON DOOR) 290 00:21:35,961 --> 00:21:38,088 -He's at doctors. -Good. 291 00:21:38,764 --> 00:21:39,822 What? 292 00:21:39,931 --> 00:21:42,991 MAURICE: After scouring the earth on your behalf, Jessie, 293 00:21:43,101 --> 00:21:45,399 I'm here to announce I've got you a job. 294 00:21:46,271 --> 00:21:49,240 -Liar. -It's true. Modeling. 295 00:21:50,742 --> 00:21:53,438 -You've done that? -Yeah. PIeased? 296 00:21:54,413 --> 00:21:58,008 -I said you could rely on me. -Well, what sort of clothes is it? 297 00:21:58,116 --> 00:21:59,947 Do you think I'II get to keep them at the end? 298 00:22:00,018 --> 00:22:02,646 -I'm not sure about that. -Why not? 299 00:22:03,488 --> 00:22:06,355 There's no actual clothes involved. 300 00:22:07,492 --> 00:22:09,084 What? None at all? 301 00:22:09,161 --> 00:22:12,528 No. Not as such. No. 302 00:22:13,632 --> 00:22:16,624 No clothes. None at all. 303 00:22:17,336 --> 00:22:19,167 You're having me do a porno? 304 00:22:19,271 --> 00:22:21,603 I'm not Ietting anyone I know see me chuffs and bumps. 305 00:22:21,673 --> 00:22:23,300 -It's not Iike that. -What's it Iike then? 306 00:22:23,375 --> 00:22:26,105 -You'II see. -You better not be trying to corrupt me. 307 00:22:26,178 --> 00:22:28,442 I am shocked, Jessie, that you would think of me Iike this. 308 00:22:28,513 --> 00:22:30,174 I am a respectable and respected man. 309 00:22:30,282 --> 00:22:31,476 Oh, yeah, right. 310 00:22:31,550 --> 00:22:34,542 "Chuffs and bumps." I've never heard that before. 311 00:22:34,653 --> 00:22:37,486 -Now you're thinking about it! -I'm not, I promise. 312 00:22:37,556 --> 00:22:40,389 -You think about summat else. -I shall. 313 00:22:41,193 --> 00:22:42,626 Jesus. 314 00:22:50,235 --> 00:22:52,203 Well, when do I start? 315 00:22:53,839 --> 00:22:56,171 Don't keep touching me! 316 00:22:57,142 --> 00:22:59,303 MAURICE: For a moment there I thought my Iegs might go. 317 00:22:59,378 --> 00:23:01,141 That's no reason to cling on. 318 00:23:01,213 --> 00:23:04,148 Just Iet yourself fall to the ground natural-Iike. 319 00:23:04,216 --> 00:23:05,649 MAURICE: Thank you. 320 00:23:16,194 --> 00:23:17,991 I can't do it with anyone I know watching. 321 00:23:18,063 --> 00:23:19,928 You've got to be professional, my dear. 322 00:23:20,031 --> 00:23:22,261 -But I'm nervous. -So am I. 323 00:23:22,367 --> 00:23:27,498 -I am frightened, okay? -Mr. Russell, if you don't mind... 324 00:23:27,572 --> 00:23:30,871 -What? -Could you, please... 325 00:23:40,786 --> 00:23:42,913 Thank you and goodnight. 326 00:24:30,735 --> 00:24:32,600 Everything all right? 327 00:24:32,971 --> 00:24:35,064 MAURICE: You won't be able to do it if you can't relax 328 00:24:35,140 --> 00:24:36,437 and let people look at you. 329 00:24:37,242 --> 00:24:42,680 It's the human form, as it is, naked, in its weakness and beauty. 330 00:24:43,148 --> 00:24:44,513 Oh, yeah? 331 00:24:45,951 --> 00:24:48,181 What would your mother say? 332 00:24:48,653 --> 00:24:51,679 She says if I weren't born, she'd be better off. 333 00:24:54,259 --> 00:24:56,352 JESSIE: Is this it? MAURICE: This is it. 334 00:25:09,040 --> 00:25:10,337 There. 335 00:25:12,944 --> 00:25:14,309 You see? 336 00:25:15,680 --> 00:25:18,012 -Is her name Venus? -No. 337 00:25:18,717 --> 00:25:21,015 Venus is a goddess. 338 00:25:21,119 --> 00:25:23,349 Accompanied by Eros, 339 00:25:23,455 --> 00:25:26,117 she creates Iove and desire in us mortals 340 00:25:26,191 --> 00:25:30,150 Ieading often to foolishness and despair. 341 00:25:30,228 --> 00:25:31,957 The usual shit. 342 00:25:33,999 --> 00:25:35,864 For most men, 343 00:25:37,068 --> 00:25:40,834 a woman's body is the most beautiful thing they will ever see. 344 00:25:43,308 --> 00:25:46,402 What's the most beautiful thing a girl sees? 345 00:25:46,878 --> 00:25:48,345 Do you know? 346 00:25:49,548 --> 00:25:51,311 Her first child. 347 00:25:57,689 --> 00:25:59,384 Are you all right? 348 00:26:00,058 --> 00:26:02,754 JESSIE: I'm not doing any more of that modeling, I can tell you that. 349 00:26:02,861 --> 00:26:05,261 MAURICE: The model for Venus was a real woman, just Iike you, 350 00:26:05,363 --> 00:26:07,923 that's what caused all the fuss. 351 00:26:08,033 --> 00:26:09,694 JESSIE: Do a bit then. 352 00:26:09,768 --> 00:26:12,168 -MAURICE: Now? -If you're so good at it. 353 00:26:14,706 --> 00:26:20,110 "Is this a dagger which I see before me, The handle toward my hand? 354 00:26:20,679 --> 00:26:23,944 "Come, Iet me clutch thee: 355 00:26:24,049 --> 00:26:26,347 "I have thee not, and yet I see thee still." 356 00:26:26,418 --> 00:26:30,081 -Now, tell me, who wrote that? -I don't know. 357 00:26:30,188 --> 00:26:31,951 Really? 358 00:26:32,057 --> 00:26:35,356 AII right then, smart-arse, what about this? 359 00:26:35,427 --> 00:26:38,419 "I should be so Iucky, Iucky, Iucky, Iucky. 360 00:26:38,530 --> 00:26:40,293 "I should be so Iucky." 361 00:26:40,398 --> 00:26:42,866 Well? Who wrote it? 362 00:26:43,401 --> 00:26:46,097 -Not a clue. -Well, there you are then. 363 00:26:48,440 --> 00:26:50,806 JESSIE: Hey, it's Iike a beach down there. 364 00:26:54,279 --> 00:26:57,976 MAURICE: I Iived by the sea when I was a child. 365 00:27:01,152 --> 00:27:03,052 It always calms me. 366 00:27:06,791 --> 00:27:09,487 Shall we go to the seaside, Venus? 367 00:27:09,594 --> 00:27:11,721 I'd rather go to Topshop. 368 00:27:11,796 --> 00:27:12,990 (CHUCKLING) 369 00:27:14,766 --> 00:27:16,631 I'II take you to Iunch. 370 00:27:16,735 --> 00:27:19,101 JESSIE: Take me somewhere posh. MAURICE: Posh? 371 00:27:19,170 --> 00:27:22,298 JESSIE: I want to meet someone really famous, not just you. 372 00:27:24,843 --> 00:27:26,333 Who are these bastards? 373 00:27:26,444 --> 00:27:29,572 Some of these arseholes were very well-known. 374 00:27:29,648 --> 00:27:32,913 -For what? -You cheer me up, you know. 375 00:27:32,984 --> 00:27:34,815 -You have a Iaugh at me, don't you? -Just a Iittle. 376 00:27:34,919 --> 00:27:36,511 -I'II get you back. -You will. 377 00:27:36,621 --> 00:27:38,316 Don't you worry. 378 00:27:46,297 --> 00:27:47,924 MAURICE: Keep still. 379 00:27:48,466 --> 00:27:51,765 -It's not surgery. -I don't trust you. 380 00:27:54,706 --> 00:27:57,436 Got it. A palpable hit. 381 00:27:57,509 --> 00:27:59,943 But where has the Iittle fucker gone? 382 00:28:00,011 --> 00:28:02,172 Who cares? It's free now. 383 00:28:02,280 --> 00:28:05,681 I can't have my home scattered with toenails. 384 00:28:05,784 --> 00:28:09,345 Oh, God. I'II have to get my other glasses. 385 00:28:09,454 --> 00:28:12,184 They're around your fucking neck. 386 00:28:12,290 --> 00:28:14,349 Oh, thank you. 387 00:28:15,527 --> 00:28:17,927 Where's that bastard toenail? 388 00:28:17,996 --> 00:28:19,088 (EXCLAIMS) 389 00:28:19,164 --> 00:28:21,928 There's the Iittle fucker. 390 00:28:24,035 --> 00:28:25,434 How's Valerie? 391 00:28:25,503 --> 00:28:28,336 Phoning me continuously with complaints. 392 00:28:29,040 --> 00:28:30,940 You're her husband. 393 00:28:31,009 --> 00:28:33,034 -Am I? -Yeah. 394 00:28:33,144 --> 00:28:36,807 You did one of your runners, if you remember. 395 00:28:36,881 --> 00:28:38,178 Did I? 396 00:28:39,050 --> 00:28:42,213 But I never wanted to be independent. 397 00:28:42,320 --> 00:28:43,810 I Iove it. 398 00:28:47,192 --> 00:28:51,526 I am about to die and I know nothing about myself. 399 00:28:54,532 --> 00:28:57,330 You have been Ioved, though, Maurice. 400 00:28:58,970 --> 00:29:01,461 -You've been adored. -Yes. 401 00:29:03,141 --> 00:29:06,702 And so have you, Ian, a Iittle bit. 402 00:29:07,512 --> 00:29:10,174 Except you didn't always notice it. 403 00:29:13,685 --> 00:29:16,347 God, my bloody back! 404 00:29:19,691 --> 00:29:24,060 No, you can't cling to me Iike this, Ian, we'II both go down. 405 00:29:24,162 --> 00:29:27,029 Put me on my feet then, you silly old fool! 406 00:29:27,098 --> 00:29:29,328 You're on your feet. 407 00:29:29,400 --> 00:29:32,369 -Oh. Yeah, well, thank you. -Not at all. 408 00:29:33,071 --> 00:29:37,337 (BOTH HUMMING) 409 00:29:49,387 --> 00:29:51,446 To keep the Iittle minx away from you, 410 00:29:51,556 --> 00:29:54,684 I'm going to sacrifice my day by taking her shopping. 411 00:29:54,759 --> 00:29:58,286 -Marvelous. -But I'II need 20 quid for refreshments. 412 00:29:59,030 --> 00:30:02,363 -Done. -Good boy. What are you going to do? 413 00:30:02,433 --> 00:30:06,563 I need to Iie down. She's exhausted me. 414 00:30:06,638 --> 00:30:09,368 I'm going to have a pre-nap nap. 415 00:30:09,440 --> 00:30:12,773 -Where is she? -Dead, I'm sure of it. 416 00:30:12,877 --> 00:30:14,777 Are you absolutely certain? 417 00:30:14,879 --> 00:30:18,474 There will be no sign of Iife for several hours. 418 00:30:33,631 --> 00:30:35,462 Don't do that. 419 00:30:40,238 --> 00:30:42,172 Coming with me today? 420 00:30:46,144 --> 00:30:47,771 You want me to? 421 00:30:55,854 --> 00:30:57,116 Okay. 422 00:30:58,156 --> 00:30:59,646 Get up then. 423 00:31:01,125 --> 00:31:02,922 I haven't got anything to wear. 424 00:31:02,994 --> 00:31:07,021 I can't think of anything more enraging, my dear. 425 00:31:41,232 --> 00:31:43,860 -If you try and Iook at me, I'II... -Look? 426 00:31:43,968 --> 00:31:46,664 I am Iosing the will to Iive, Venus. 427 00:31:46,738 --> 00:31:49,730 I'II rip your eyes out and stick them up your arse! 428 00:32:01,152 --> 00:32:02,915 JESSIE: Does it suit me? 429 00:32:04,155 --> 00:32:05,315 Yes. 430 00:32:08,192 --> 00:32:09,557 Oh, yes. 431 00:32:11,062 --> 00:32:12,586 In what way? 432 00:32:13,364 --> 00:32:15,332 In all possible ways. 433 00:32:16,434 --> 00:32:19,403 It goes with your... 434 00:32:21,172 --> 00:32:23,663 -What? -Nail varnish. 435 00:32:25,910 --> 00:32:28,208 I'm not wearing nail varnish. 436 00:32:31,249 --> 00:32:32,841 It's beautiful. 437 00:32:40,525 --> 00:32:41,753 WOMAN: Next? 438 00:32:42,794 --> 00:32:45,729 Hello there. It's Iovely, isn't it? 439 00:32:45,797 --> 00:32:48,960 Maurice, thank you. 440 00:32:49,067 --> 00:32:51,092 How will you be paying, sir? 441 00:32:51,202 --> 00:32:52,965 Oh, yes, right. 442 00:33:03,748 --> 00:33:07,980 -What's that? -One of Uncle Ian's toenail clippings. 443 00:33:08,086 --> 00:33:09,883 Oh, my God! 444 00:33:09,954 --> 00:33:13,617 Otherwise, I'm afraid, I've only got a 20. 445 00:33:15,126 --> 00:33:16,320 Next? 446 00:33:18,663 --> 00:33:19,925 Jessie? 447 00:33:21,899 --> 00:33:23,230 Jessie! 448 00:33:25,603 --> 00:33:27,468 You humiliated me! 449 00:33:28,072 --> 00:33:29,130 (MAURICE GROANING) 450 00:33:29,240 --> 00:33:32,607 -That will teach you! -But weren't we gonna have Iunch? 451 00:33:32,677 --> 00:33:37,114 I never wanna see you again! Now I can never go back into that shop! 452 00:34:05,610 --> 00:34:08,170 -You ready? -Christ! 453 00:34:08,980 --> 00:34:12,006 -Will it hurt? -Only if you struggle. 454 00:34:12,617 --> 00:34:14,107 NURSE: Come on now. 455 00:34:14,619 --> 00:34:16,382 Now this might be a bit cold. 456 00:34:16,487 --> 00:34:17,545 (MAURICE EXCLAIMING) 457 00:34:17,655 --> 00:34:19,316 It's all right. 458 00:34:20,958 --> 00:34:22,653 Now just relax. 459 00:34:23,728 --> 00:34:25,218 MAURICE: Jesus! 460 00:34:25,329 --> 00:34:28,890 Everything all right here? Now, I've done hundreds of these. 461 00:34:29,000 --> 00:34:32,128 There's a strong chance of impotence and incontinence. 462 00:34:32,203 --> 00:34:35,070 But you won't be dead and that is a result. 463 00:34:35,173 --> 00:34:37,664 Okay, Iet's get him to theater. 464 00:34:40,678 --> 00:34:44,170 PORTER: Here we go. MAURICE: I've always Iiked the theater. 465 00:34:48,419 --> 00:34:51,855 -IAN: Why didn't you tell me? -Oh, you know. 466 00:34:52,857 --> 00:34:55,348 I didn't want to think about it. 467 00:34:56,661 --> 00:34:58,891 I hate sympathy. 468 00:34:58,996 --> 00:35:01,988 But you wouldn't have got any from me. 469 00:35:02,066 --> 00:35:05,866 -I know. You're a true friend. -Yes. 470 00:35:07,105 --> 00:35:09,005 How's the nurse? 471 00:35:09,073 --> 00:35:12,600 It's agony. I told her to be on her way. 472 00:35:13,845 --> 00:35:17,542 -Where will she go? -That's up to her. 473 00:35:19,016 --> 00:35:22,577 They always need people in Africa, I hear. 474 00:35:25,189 --> 00:35:27,749 It hardly seems worth going home. 475 00:35:41,739 --> 00:35:43,900 Why not? I am a free man! 476 00:35:43,975 --> 00:35:45,602 We just wouldn't recommend it, that's all. 477 00:35:45,710 --> 00:35:47,371 Not for someone so soon after an operation. 478 00:35:47,445 --> 00:35:49,242 Why don't you wait to see the doctor? 479 00:35:49,313 --> 00:35:51,144 Because there are people I need to see! 480 00:35:51,249 --> 00:35:53,649 -Well, can't they come here? -No! 481 00:36:09,967 --> 00:36:13,334 -Hello. -Hello, Jessie. 482 00:36:13,437 --> 00:36:17,840 -It's you. -Yes, it is more or Iess. 483 00:36:19,911 --> 00:36:21,936 Why didn't you tell me you were having an operation? 484 00:36:22,013 --> 00:36:24,413 I didn't want to cheer you up. 485 00:36:24,982 --> 00:36:26,142 Here. 486 00:36:30,354 --> 00:36:33,414 -Free at Iast. -I'm glad. 487 00:36:34,625 --> 00:36:35,853 What? 488 00:36:36,427 --> 00:36:39,919 I'm glad, you know. I'm glad you're back. 489 00:36:51,108 --> 00:36:54,168 Well, well, well. How are you, my old fruit? 490 00:36:55,012 --> 00:36:57,503 Do you think Jessie will cut my toenails? 491 00:36:57,615 --> 00:36:58,980 (MAN SINGING ON TV) 492 00:36:59,050 --> 00:37:02,884 I wouldn't Iet her near my body with anything sharp. 493 00:37:03,221 --> 00:37:05,781 -No. -What's that smell? 494 00:37:06,657 --> 00:37:09,717 -Cologne. -Oh, God. 495 00:37:09,827 --> 00:37:13,354 Get rid of it! It's making me vertiginous! 496 00:37:13,464 --> 00:37:15,398 JESSIE: Drinks, gentlemen? 497 00:37:16,734 --> 00:37:18,861 This is unusual, Jessie. 498 00:37:20,671 --> 00:37:26,166 Are you on ketamine, GBH or just the mushrooms? 499 00:37:26,544 --> 00:37:30,378 -Very good, Uncle. -You see, Maurice, I'm contemporary. 500 00:37:30,481 --> 00:37:31,709 Right. 501 00:37:31,816 --> 00:37:33,875 -I can't see. -What? 502 00:37:33,985 --> 00:37:36,715 -I can't see. Put it somewhere else. -Where? 503 00:37:36,821 --> 00:37:40,655 Somewhere else. There. Where you Iike. There, over there. 504 00:37:41,692 --> 00:37:46,152 -God, I can't breathe! -Stop shouting then. 505 00:37:46,230 --> 00:37:49,324 I can't get through to you otherwise! 506 00:37:49,400 --> 00:37:51,766 -Oh, no. No. -What now? 507 00:37:51,869 --> 00:37:53,496 Oh, God! 508 00:37:53,571 --> 00:37:54,765 Thank you. 509 00:37:54,872 --> 00:37:58,239 Everyone knows you don't put milk in Iemon tea. 510 00:37:58,342 --> 00:37:59,934 You Iike milk. 511 00:38:00,044 --> 00:38:04,947 I've told you, only on my cereal. Not on anything else. 512 00:38:05,049 --> 00:38:06,676 You Iike it in your hot chocolate. 513 00:38:06,751 --> 00:38:10,744 -What? -I said you Iike it in your hot chocolate. 514 00:38:10,855 --> 00:38:17,260 God! I'm exhausted, I really am. Fan me, Maurice, before I expire. 515 00:38:17,361 --> 00:38:19,090 Nuts, anyone? 516 00:38:21,065 --> 00:38:23,693 BIoody nuts! God. 517 00:38:25,202 --> 00:38:28,797 I can't wait to get back to work. I'II take anything. 518 00:38:28,906 --> 00:38:33,400 -Really? -Except corpses. No, I don't need that. 519 00:38:33,477 --> 00:38:35,377 I've cornered the market there. 520 00:38:35,446 --> 00:38:38,279 If I don't get anything, I'II write my memoirs. 521 00:38:38,382 --> 00:38:41,783 -That shouldn't take Iong. -What? 522 00:38:45,289 --> 00:38:49,055 What do you do to her at your age? 523 00:38:49,927 --> 00:38:54,489 It's a very difficult thing. But I'm nice to her. 524 00:38:54,598 --> 00:38:55,997 Yeah? 525 00:38:57,968 --> 00:39:01,096 -I'II make you a cup of tea. -Thank you. 526 00:39:03,741 --> 00:39:05,572 MAN: You're like a little fairy. 527 00:39:27,965 --> 00:39:30,195 I will die soon, Venus. 528 00:39:32,303 --> 00:39:34,328 Can I touch your hand? 529 00:39:34,438 --> 00:39:36,338 That's one chat up Iine I haven't heard. 530 00:39:36,440 --> 00:39:39,876 -I'm impotent, of course. -Thank Christ. 531 00:39:40,678 --> 00:39:43,875 But I can still take a theoretical interest. 532 00:39:50,154 --> 00:39:54,488 -Have you been thinking about me? -AII the time I was in hospital. 533 00:39:57,361 --> 00:39:59,693 What did you think about me? 534 00:40:00,364 --> 00:40:02,127 I saw your body. 535 00:40:04,835 --> 00:40:06,325 Which part? 536 00:40:08,372 --> 00:40:09,839 Your hair. 537 00:40:11,208 --> 00:40:12,675 Your feet. 538 00:40:14,345 --> 00:40:17,576 Your Iegs, your behind, your eyes. 539 00:40:18,749 --> 00:40:22,082 -My eyes? -Your elbows. 540 00:40:22,653 --> 00:40:24,314 Your cunt. 541 00:40:30,060 --> 00:40:31,652 Oh, shut up. 542 00:40:42,239 --> 00:40:44,230 You can touch my hand. 543 00:41:15,105 --> 00:41:17,198 Only with your fingers. 544 00:41:18,242 --> 00:41:20,938 Anything else will make me vomitous. 545 00:41:24,648 --> 00:41:26,411 Can I ask you, 546 00:41:29,286 --> 00:41:31,880 have you ever been in Iove before? 547 00:41:44,401 --> 00:41:48,838 I can do it. I want to do it. I am well enough. I need the money. 548 00:41:51,842 --> 00:41:54,640 Thank you. But I will need a big car. 549 00:41:56,947 --> 00:41:59,609 Yeah, an enormous fucker. 550 00:42:01,752 --> 00:42:05,654 -You must be really famous. -I am. I am. 551 00:42:07,758 --> 00:42:10,318 It's a really important role. 552 00:42:10,427 --> 00:42:12,918 The Iinchpin of the story. 553 00:42:12,997 --> 00:42:16,433 Yep, it's also a speaking part. 554 00:42:16,500 --> 00:42:18,491 (PUT YOUR RECORDS ON PLAYING ON CAR STEREO) 555 00:42:18,602 --> 00:42:21,935 I'II explain everything to you on the way. 556 00:42:22,006 --> 00:42:24,668 I think you should work in films. 557 00:42:24,775 --> 00:42:26,868 -Do you? -Definitely, yes. 558 00:42:28,512 --> 00:42:30,639 Hey, can we open the roof? 559 00:42:50,467 --> 00:42:52,128 This is wicked! 560 00:42:54,071 --> 00:42:56,232 Turn it up, my man! 561 00:42:56,840 --> 00:42:58,205 More volume. 562 00:43:39,917 --> 00:43:44,684 You will see how fickle men are in Iove, just Iike women. 563 00:43:44,755 --> 00:43:48,088 I will not believe it until I see it with my own eyes. 564 00:43:48,192 --> 00:43:49,591 They come. 565 00:43:52,262 --> 00:43:55,129 -You were in Iove with another? -I don't Iove you! 566 00:43:55,232 --> 00:43:58,895 But my body cannot do without your hands! 567 00:44:01,038 --> 00:44:07,375 You see that when it comes to Iove, men... 568 00:44:11,415 --> 00:44:12,439 MAN: And cut. 569 00:44:13,083 --> 00:44:14,778 WOMAN: End board. MAN 2: Cut. Cut. 570 00:44:14,885 --> 00:44:17,445 Are you okay, Maurice? Someone bring him a chair. 571 00:44:17,554 --> 00:44:20,955 It's hot. These clothes are heavy. 572 00:44:29,333 --> 00:44:31,597 MAN 1 : Barry. Barry? MAN 2: Thank you so much. 573 00:44:39,810 --> 00:44:41,334 MAN 1 : AII right, well, Iet's... 574 00:44:41,445 --> 00:44:43,413 We're gonna have to move on, then we can... 575 00:44:43,480 --> 00:44:45,072 MAN 2: AII right, that's fine, cool. 576 00:44:45,149 --> 00:44:46,912 MAN 1 : Let's give him two minutes, right. 577 00:44:46,984 --> 00:44:48,349 Thank you. 578 00:44:49,987 --> 00:44:51,249 Okay. 579 00:44:56,527 --> 00:44:57,789 Ready. 580 00:45:00,764 --> 00:45:03,995 "I am sorry, my Iove, but we must part for good. 581 00:45:06,537 --> 00:45:10,633 "I am not the man to make you happy and so we must say goodbye." 582 00:45:10,774 --> 00:45:12,765 (WOMAN SOBBING) 583 00:45:21,552 --> 00:45:23,986 Oh, sure. Sure. 584 00:45:27,558 --> 00:45:30,186 How does she do it? I could never have done that. 585 00:45:30,294 --> 00:45:33,957 -I'm sure you could. -I didn't realize it was so hard. 586 00:45:34,665 --> 00:45:40,570 -It's brilliant. I could never do that. -Mind you, she's terribly pretty. 587 00:45:42,639 --> 00:45:44,834 -Am I not? -Oh, Venus! 588 00:45:44,908 --> 00:45:47,570 Now you've upset me. Jesus, Maurice, do you never Iearn? 589 00:45:47,678 --> 00:45:49,043 -Sorry. -You will be. 590 00:45:49,146 --> 00:45:51,910 My dear, will you pass me my trousers? 591 00:46:00,190 --> 00:46:02,317 -What is that? -A catheter. 592 00:46:02,392 --> 00:46:04,553 -Oh, my God! -I think it's Ieaking. 593 00:46:04,661 --> 00:46:06,151 I don't want it on my shoes. 594 00:46:06,230 --> 00:46:08,164 -You're always dripping, Maurice. -Hold on. 595 00:46:08,232 --> 00:46:09,699 There's always bits of you where there shouldn't be. 596 00:46:09,767 --> 00:46:11,029 (KNOCKING ON DOOR) 597 00:46:11,101 --> 00:46:12,864 Pass me that towel. 598 00:46:19,676 --> 00:46:21,041 Come in. 599 00:46:21,945 --> 00:46:24,413 -You asked for cash? -Thank you. 600 00:46:27,751 --> 00:46:30,219 I wonder if the shops are open. 601 00:46:32,523 --> 00:46:35,617 JESSIE: Do you think they'II suit me? MAURICE: I don't know. 602 00:46:35,726 --> 00:46:37,853 Let me Iook at your ears. 603 00:46:38,629 --> 00:46:40,187 Perfect. 604 00:46:40,264 --> 00:46:42,789 -Don't touch. -I know, I know. 605 00:46:45,602 --> 00:46:46,967 Come on. 606 00:46:47,938 --> 00:46:49,929 Have you got the bloody money this time? 607 00:46:50,040 --> 00:46:54,204 Oh, yes. Tons of it. I've got a pocketful. 608 00:47:12,429 --> 00:47:15,159 I think I'm gonna wear these tonight. 609 00:47:18,569 --> 00:47:19,900 Venus, 610 00:47:23,073 --> 00:47:25,507 you Iook Iike a movie star. 611 00:47:47,764 --> 00:47:49,925 Is there an old man odor? 612 00:47:52,035 --> 00:47:54,162 Not so much this evening. 613 00:47:55,038 --> 00:47:56,596 I wonder why. 614 00:48:00,978 --> 00:48:03,139 You can kiss my shoulders. 615 00:48:03,780 --> 00:48:05,042 Can I? 616 00:48:06,383 --> 00:48:07,975 Three kisses. 617 00:48:21,632 --> 00:48:23,224 Three, I said! 618 00:48:23,333 --> 00:48:26,461 And no Iicking and burping, you dirty, filthy, Iittle shithead. 619 00:48:26,536 --> 00:48:28,060 (CHUCKLING) 620 00:48:30,841 --> 00:48:34,504 -Oh, you please me. -And you me. 621 00:48:44,054 --> 00:48:45,817 (GROANING) 622 00:48:47,658 --> 00:48:49,922 Steady, steady. 623 00:48:53,063 --> 00:48:55,896 I'm just out of intensive care. 624 00:49:00,737 --> 00:49:02,705 You ask for it, Maurice. 625 00:49:02,773 --> 00:49:05,571 You know you do, with your forwardness. 626 00:49:12,516 --> 00:49:15,349 Don't you believe in anything, Maurice? 627 00:49:19,523 --> 00:49:21,286 PIeasure, I Iike. 628 00:49:22,960 --> 00:49:25,258 I've tried to give pleasure. 629 00:49:26,797 --> 00:49:29,425 That's all I'd recommend to anyone. 630 00:49:31,935 --> 00:49:34,961 You've made me sticky with your slug tongue. 631 00:49:36,306 --> 00:49:38,467 I think I'II have a bath. 632 00:49:40,277 --> 00:49:41,801 Well, well. 633 00:49:43,814 --> 00:49:45,281 I'II run it for you. 634 00:49:53,390 --> 00:49:55,153 This other man, 635 00:49:56,760 --> 00:49:59,160 the other man who Ioved you, 636 00:50:00,230 --> 00:50:02,824 was he not kind to you? 637 00:50:02,933 --> 00:50:06,391 JESSIE: He was kind, for a time. 638 00:50:08,505 --> 00:50:11,065 He promised me things. 639 00:50:11,141 --> 00:50:13,075 He bought me stuff. 640 00:50:15,479 --> 00:50:19,575 We had champagne and there were roses. 641 00:50:21,184 --> 00:50:23,152 Then you got pregnant. 642 00:50:25,622 --> 00:50:29,183 -Does everyone know? -It's happened to girls before. 643 00:50:36,533 --> 00:50:37,795 Then... 644 00:50:40,637 --> 00:50:42,935 Then he stopped being kind. 645 00:50:45,042 --> 00:50:47,010 He went the other way. 646 00:50:48,979 --> 00:50:50,879 A Iong way that way. 647 00:50:55,619 --> 00:50:57,314 He were engaged. 648 00:50:58,522 --> 00:51:00,046 I didn't know. 649 00:51:04,461 --> 00:51:06,520 It wasn't a miscarriage. 650 00:51:08,899 --> 00:51:10,890 My mum called it that. 651 00:51:15,806 --> 00:51:17,706 It were an abortion. 652 00:51:20,644 --> 00:51:22,339 And she made me. 653 00:51:24,247 --> 00:51:25,578 Terrible. 654 00:51:26,650 --> 00:51:27,844 Yeah. 655 00:51:29,019 --> 00:51:30,213 Yeah. 656 00:51:41,665 --> 00:51:45,328 "Shall I compare thee to a summer's day? 657 00:51:45,402 --> 00:51:49,429 "Thou art more Iovely and more temperate: 658 00:51:49,539 --> 00:51:52,440 "Rough winds do shake the darling buds of May, 659 00:51:52,542 --> 00:51:57,445 "And summer's Iease hath all too short a date: 660 00:51:57,547 --> 00:52:01,881 "Sometime too hot the eye of heaven shines, 661 00:52:01,985 --> 00:52:05,921 "And often is his gold completion dimm'd, 662 00:52:06,022 --> 00:52:10,425 "And every fair from fair sometime declines, 663 00:52:10,527 --> 00:52:15,988 "By chance, or nature's changing course untrimm'd, 664 00:52:16,066 --> 00:52:20,400 "But thy eternal summer shall not fade, 665 00:52:20,504 --> 00:52:24,372 "Nor Iose possession of that fair thou ow'st, 666 00:52:24,441 --> 00:52:28,400 "Nor shall death brag thou wander'st in his shade, 667 00:52:28,512 --> 00:52:34,451 "When in eternal Iines to time thou grow'st, 668 00:52:34,551 --> 00:52:39,579 "So Iong as men can breathe, and eyes can see, 669 00:52:39,689 --> 00:52:44,888 "So Iong Iives this, and this gives Iife to thee." 670 00:52:55,238 --> 00:52:56,637 Venus? 671 00:53:06,750 --> 00:53:08,547 Thank you. 672 00:53:08,618 --> 00:53:10,483 You Iook wonderful. 673 00:53:11,988 --> 00:53:13,387 Luminous. 674 00:53:14,157 --> 00:53:15,419 Bright. 675 00:53:17,727 --> 00:53:20,287 -Startling. -Do I? 676 00:53:27,003 --> 00:53:29,301 -That story I told you. -Yes. 677 00:53:31,575 --> 00:53:34,339 -You don't think I'm Iow, do you? -No. 678 00:53:35,946 --> 00:53:39,279 MAURICE: Let's have dinner. JESSIE: No, Maurice, I'm going out. 679 00:53:42,185 --> 00:53:43,743 What a shame. 680 00:53:45,288 --> 00:53:48,189 -Anywhere nice? -A party. 681 00:53:49,192 --> 00:53:51,524 -AIone? -With a boy. 682 00:53:53,463 --> 00:53:54,953 Jolly good. 683 00:53:56,499 --> 00:53:59,195 -Which boy? -Keep your nose out. 684 00:53:59,302 --> 00:54:00,667 Of course. 685 00:54:02,973 --> 00:54:07,535 You can go to the party for an hour and we can meet Iater. 686 00:54:07,644 --> 00:54:10,477 -It's an all-night party. -Right. 687 00:54:12,148 --> 00:54:15,481 -How will you stay up all night? -I'II manage. 688 00:54:17,020 --> 00:54:20,285 -Uncle Ian will worry. -It's all right. I've already asked him. 689 00:54:20,357 --> 00:54:24,316 I think he'II be pleased to get rid of me. I don't think he Iikes me very much. 690 00:54:24,394 --> 00:54:27,056 -He thinks I'm horrible. -He does. 691 00:54:27,163 --> 00:54:29,688 But I Iike you, Venus. I Iike you. 692 00:54:31,635 --> 00:54:33,068 I Iove you. 693 00:54:36,506 --> 00:54:37,666 Bye. 694 00:54:38,642 --> 00:54:40,803 Can we meet tomorrow? 695 00:54:40,877 --> 00:54:44,369 Yeah, okay. I'II meet you after Iunch, by the canal. 696 00:54:46,182 --> 00:54:48,241 Thanks for the earrings. 697 00:55:37,467 --> 00:55:40,436 (BANGING ON DOOR) 698 00:55:43,440 --> 00:55:45,874 -Hello. -MAURICE: Hello. 699 00:55:45,942 --> 00:55:48,206 Have I forgotten? Did I invite you? 700 00:55:48,278 --> 00:55:52,214 No, I invited you and I wanted to see you. 701 00:55:53,817 --> 00:55:55,216 Did you? 702 00:55:56,953 --> 00:55:58,318 Good God. 703 00:56:03,593 --> 00:56:04,821 VALERIE: Maurice. 704 00:56:05,795 --> 00:56:08,457 Maurice, quickly! 705 00:56:08,565 --> 00:56:11,432 Why do you keep shouting when I am cooking? 706 00:56:11,501 --> 00:56:14,561 You're on TV. Look, Iook. 707 00:56:15,638 --> 00:56:17,503 (PEOPLE SPEAKING ON TV) 708 00:56:17,607 --> 00:56:19,074 Oh, Christ! 709 00:56:20,977 --> 00:56:23,810 Oh, how handsome you were. 710 00:56:25,648 --> 00:56:28,583 -And there's that woman... -Yeah, yeah. 711 00:56:28,651 --> 00:56:30,846 ...who took you away from us. 712 00:56:33,323 --> 00:56:34,756 It's burning. 713 00:56:34,824 --> 00:56:37,657 -You will burn, Maurice. -Yes, dear. 714 00:56:38,862 --> 00:56:40,762 MAURICE ON TV: ...get my grouch thoughts in order. 715 00:56:41,698 --> 00:56:43,325 It's very good. 716 00:56:52,108 --> 00:56:54,167 You were a good mother. 717 00:56:56,880 --> 00:56:59,974 I rather Ieft you holding the baby, didn't I? 718 00:57:00,049 --> 00:57:04,611 You did do that. Three children under six, to be exact. 719 00:57:04,687 --> 00:57:09,386 I can see it must have been inconvenient. 720 00:57:09,492 --> 00:57:12,222 That you put your own pleasure first? 721 00:57:17,200 --> 00:57:18,827 I did Iove you. 722 00:57:22,372 --> 00:57:24,863 For a time. 723 00:57:24,974 --> 00:57:28,239 And for the rest of the time, I was fond of you. 724 00:57:28,344 --> 00:57:32,007 -PIease, no. No, don't. -More than fond of you. 725 00:57:32,081 --> 00:57:35,209 You don't have to. I don't want it. 726 00:57:37,821 --> 00:57:40,654 It's my goodbye to you. 727 00:57:40,723 --> 00:57:42,884 Why, where are you going? 728 00:57:54,871 --> 00:57:57,772 -We won't Iive forever. -No. 729 01:00:02,498 --> 01:00:04,898 IAN: You Iooked rather forlorn. 730 01:00:05,001 --> 01:00:08,232 MAURICE: This is a rare treat, my friend. 731 01:00:09,238 --> 01:00:11,729 There are no pockets in a shroud. 732 01:00:14,077 --> 01:00:17,911 IAN: Oh, God, it's a Iong way up, eh? 733 01:00:22,585 --> 01:00:26,578 MAURICE: '57, I first saw you. IAN: It was? 734 01:00:26,689 --> 01:00:29,249 MAURICE: You were a strapping Laertes. 735 01:00:29,359 --> 01:00:33,352 Strapping? Yeah, sounds Iike me. 736 01:00:33,429 --> 01:00:36,398 The Ophelia was something of a minger. 737 01:00:36,499 --> 01:00:39,263 You wore a kilt, if I'm not mistaken. 738 01:00:40,103 --> 01:00:42,571 BIoody Peter Hall. 739 01:00:42,672 --> 01:00:44,003 (CHUCKLING) 740 01:00:47,510 --> 01:00:49,740 I Iove this horrible place. 741 01:00:51,581 --> 01:00:57,076 It reminds me of what I wanted to become. 742 01:01:01,924 --> 01:01:03,755 Another Iarge one? 743 01:01:05,962 --> 01:01:07,054 Hmm. 744 01:01:07,230 --> 01:01:08,424 Yes. 745 01:01:14,037 --> 01:01:15,368 -Come on. -What? 746 01:01:15,438 --> 01:01:17,736 -I've got a good idea. -What? 747 01:01:19,909 --> 01:01:21,706 -What? -You'II see. 748 01:01:21,778 --> 01:01:23,609 -What? -You'II see. 749 01:01:26,783 --> 01:01:28,045 IAN: Shit. 750 01:01:29,752 --> 01:01:31,652 Oh, God. 751 01:01:33,056 --> 01:01:36,958 You must protect the old man. 752 01:01:54,077 --> 01:01:56,341 MAURICE: Boris Karloff. IAN: Yeah, I know. 753 01:01:56,446 --> 01:01:58,676 He was a sweetie, apparently. 754 01:01:59,782 --> 01:02:01,340 MAURICE: Mr. Pratt. 755 01:02:03,252 --> 01:02:06,517 Robert Shaw. Richard Beckinsale. 756 01:02:09,959 --> 01:02:12,484 IAN: They're running out of room here. 757 01:02:14,831 --> 01:02:17,595 Luckily Ian isn't a Iong name. 758 01:02:24,440 --> 01:02:27,341 (CLASSICAL MUSIC PLAYING) 759 01:02:37,186 --> 01:02:40,678 -Shall we? -Oh, yes. 760 01:03:30,106 --> 01:03:32,768 (KNOCKING ON DOOR) 761 01:04:11,914 --> 01:04:14,576 I'm sorry I didn't come to meet you. 762 01:04:17,453 --> 01:04:19,819 You can smell my neck. 763 01:04:19,922 --> 01:04:22,220 -I can? -You can. 764 01:04:23,659 --> 01:04:26,992 No kissing. That would make me never come back. 765 01:04:28,798 --> 01:04:30,390 I understand. 766 01:04:56,993 --> 01:05:02,124 -You Iike to do this, don't you? -There really isn't anything else. 767 01:05:03,032 --> 01:05:04,659 -Maurice? -Yes. 768 01:05:06,535 --> 01:05:09,800 -I want something. -You do? 769 01:05:11,540 --> 01:05:15,340 I'm sure it's something I'II have to think about. 770 01:05:15,444 --> 01:05:18,971 -For how Iong? -I don't know. 771 01:05:27,223 --> 01:05:31,284 -Why don't we move things on a Iittle? -How could we do that? 772 01:05:34,363 --> 01:05:36,991 -I want to give you a treat. -You do? 773 01:05:37,066 --> 01:05:40,467 -I want to cheer you up. -Yes? How? 774 01:05:43,506 --> 01:05:45,997 -How? -Watch. 775 01:06:32,188 --> 01:06:33,883 Thanks, Maurice. 776 01:07:18,634 --> 01:07:20,499 Sit, please. Sit. 777 01:07:22,438 --> 01:07:23,632 Thank you. 778 01:07:41,824 --> 01:07:43,815 You insult me. 779 01:07:43,926 --> 01:07:48,090 On the contrary, the insult is on the other side. 780 01:07:48,164 --> 01:07:51,463 -How so? -Do I Iook Iike a fool? Do I? 781 01:07:53,169 --> 01:07:54,295 Answer me. 782 01:07:54,370 --> 01:07:57,203 Don't tempt me, I haven't had my tranquillizer yet. 783 01:07:57,306 --> 01:08:00,537 Yes, you're easily tempted, as we know. 784 01:08:00,643 --> 01:08:06,343 I've been questioning my niece's daughter very closely, 785 01:08:06,449 --> 01:08:08,144 in search of the facts. 786 01:08:08,217 --> 01:08:13,154 -You begged me to find her work. -You have degraded that girl. 787 01:08:13,222 --> 01:08:18,319 Jessie is a shy, provincial girl. 788 01:08:18,394 --> 01:08:21,955 To take advantage of such a vulnerable, young person, 789 01:08:22,031 --> 01:08:26,832 to take her to drinking establishments, ply her with alcohol. 790 01:08:26,902 --> 01:08:30,804 -She plied me. -Oh, really? 791 01:08:31,540 --> 01:08:36,034 Yes, well, did you buy these? 792 01:08:37,079 --> 01:08:38,341 These? 793 01:08:40,249 --> 01:08:41,341 IAN: Hmm? 794 01:08:42,051 --> 01:08:43,348 This is ridiculous. 795 01:08:43,419 --> 01:08:47,719 She said you paid for her to be tattooed! 796 01:08:47,823 --> 01:08:49,688 -Did you? -Oh, Christ. 797 01:08:49,758 --> 01:08:51,589 It was a small snake. 798 01:08:51,694 --> 01:08:53,025 Well, well, well. 799 01:08:53,095 --> 01:08:55,586 You never welcomed her. You called her vile. 800 01:08:55,698 --> 01:08:57,097 That is a Iie! 801 01:08:57,199 --> 01:09:00,532 Now, hang on, Ian, old man. You have to admit, 802 01:09:00,603 --> 01:09:03,538 you did have one or two Iittle reservations about her character. 803 01:09:03,606 --> 01:09:07,007 How dare you? What the hell do you mean? 804 01:09:07,076 --> 01:09:10,170 You handed her that halibut and expected her to... 805 01:09:10,246 --> 01:09:12,612 To what? To cook it? 806 01:09:12,715 --> 01:09:16,947 That's all. That's perverted exploitation? 807 01:09:17,052 --> 01:09:21,887 But to be so desperate, to behave without respect for me... 808 01:09:21,957 --> 01:09:23,083 Now you strike me! 809 01:09:23,192 --> 01:09:25,285 Maurice, please. We come here every day. 810 01:09:25,394 --> 01:09:26,861 They bring us croissants with our coffee. 811 01:09:26,929 --> 01:09:29,124 Did you see? I have been struck! 812 01:09:29,231 --> 01:09:33,099 Get some sense into your thick skull before you die, Ian! 813 01:09:33,202 --> 01:09:36,365 You venomous rat! A dying man. 814 01:09:36,438 --> 01:09:39,032 -A bloody fool, too! -Right, Iet's have you! 815 01:09:39,108 --> 01:09:40,735 -Oh, come on. -I'II take you on. 816 01:09:40,809 --> 01:09:43,471 Come on, where are we going with this? 817 01:09:43,579 --> 01:09:45,740 -He hit me again! Did you see that? -Come on! 818 01:09:45,814 --> 01:09:48,112 -What is this, catheters at dawn? -Oh, shut up. 819 01:09:48,217 --> 01:09:50,242 I'm going to have to bar you two troublemakers. 820 01:09:50,319 --> 01:09:51,980 -IAN: He started it! -I did not! 821 01:09:52,087 --> 01:09:55,284 -Yes! -Out! I want you out! Out of here! Out! 822 01:09:55,391 --> 01:09:59,293 MAURICE: AII right, I'm going. Don't worry, I'm going. 823 01:09:59,395 --> 01:10:01,556 -IAN: Get out of here! Get out! -Out! 824 01:10:14,343 --> 01:10:16,903 (KNOCKING ON DOOR) 825 01:10:26,088 --> 01:10:27,316 Hiya. 826 01:10:35,431 --> 01:10:37,092 Can we come in? 827 01:11:11,700 --> 01:11:13,292 Go on, ask him. 828 01:11:24,079 --> 01:11:25,376 Maurice? 829 01:11:27,516 --> 01:11:30,212 Do you want to go for a Iittle walk? 830 01:11:32,655 --> 01:11:36,489 Exercise is good for some people, I've heard. 831 01:11:43,399 --> 01:11:46,698 (MAURICE MUTTERING) 832 01:11:52,574 --> 01:11:54,940 (PEOPLE TALKING) 833 01:11:56,712 --> 01:11:58,543 (PEOPLE LAUGHING) 834 01:11:58,614 --> 01:12:01,412 (PEOPLE CHEERING) 835 01:12:37,953 --> 01:12:40,319 (HORSE NEIGHING) 836 01:12:49,665 --> 01:12:51,633 (AUDIENCE APPLAUDING) 837 01:12:52,201 --> 01:12:54,863 MAURICE: ...barbarous, most degenerate... 838 01:12:56,305 --> 01:13:00,366 "To be or not to be, that is the question." 839 01:13:17,893 --> 01:13:21,385 No! No! Out! 840 01:13:22,798 --> 01:13:24,493 Out! Out! 841 01:13:25,334 --> 01:13:28,826 -Out! Out! -AII right, mate! 842 01:13:29,571 --> 01:13:31,505 I ain't finished yet. 843 01:13:32,141 --> 01:13:35,235 AII right, keep your hair on! Keep your hair on, mate. 844 01:13:44,720 --> 01:13:47,553 You invited us in, old man. 845 01:13:47,656 --> 01:13:49,521 Come on, Iet's go. 846 01:13:52,661 --> 01:13:57,098 And you are a dirty, dirty, old man. 847 01:13:58,534 --> 01:14:01,230 And you are on your way. 848 01:14:03,505 --> 01:14:05,268 -BOY: Oh, no, not the stick! -Stop it! 849 01:14:05,374 --> 01:14:07,433 I'm really frightened, Granddad. 850 01:14:11,847 --> 01:14:15,078 Come on! Just Ieave the fucking door! 851 01:14:15,184 --> 01:14:17,175 Come on. Stop fucking pissing... 852 01:14:17,252 --> 01:14:20,050 -My fucking head is fucking hurting! -Come on, then! 853 01:14:20,122 --> 01:14:22,113 BOY: What's your fucking problem? 854 01:14:22,224 --> 01:14:25,022 JESSIE: You stupid bastard, what have you done? 855 01:15:00,429 --> 01:15:01,760 JESSIE: Maurice! 856 01:15:02,764 --> 01:15:04,163 Maurice! 857 01:15:07,503 --> 01:15:10,301 Maurice! Open the door, Maurice! 858 01:15:12,174 --> 01:15:13,835 (JESSIE SOBBING) 859 01:15:24,953 --> 01:15:27,251 Are you responsible for this? 860 01:15:28,023 --> 01:15:29,115 Hmm? 861 01:15:33,495 --> 01:15:37,158 Apparently there was an intruder, though there's no sign of forced entry. 862 01:15:37,266 --> 01:15:39,166 -He was knocked down. -Who was it? 863 01:15:39,268 --> 01:15:40,530 POLICEMAN: Well, I did ask for a description 864 01:15:40,636 --> 01:15:43,799 and all he could say was, "He was damned ugly". 865 01:15:43,872 --> 01:15:46,534 He's a white male, in his early 70s. 866 01:15:46,942 --> 01:15:50,139 -Romeo, Uniform, Sierra, Sierra... -Well, you have to take him in. 867 01:15:50,212 --> 01:15:53,204 If the worst comes to the worst, tomorrow morning will be all right. 868 01:15:53,315 --> 01:15:56,614 He can't stay here alone. I'II phone you back. 869 01:15:58,053 --> 01:15:59,714 Hi. 870 01:15:59,821 --> 01:16:03,814 I'm having some trouble getting a bed. He needs someone with him. 871 01:16:03,892 --> 01:16:06,452 -Are you... -No, of course not. 872 01:16:06,528 --> 01:16:09,656 I could die at any moment myself. I've got high blood pressure. 873 01:16:09,731 --> 01:16:14,828 I've got chronic anxiety, burning indigestion. 874 01:16:14,903 --> 01:16:16,996 Yeah, okay. Right. 875 01:16:17,072 --> 01:16:18,699 MAURICE: Venus. 876 01:16:23,345 --> 01:16:25,472 Venus. 877 01:16:25,547 --> 01:16:28,311 Who the hell is Venus? 878 01:16:29,751 --> 01:16:31,013 I am. 879 01:16:31,987 --> 01:16:35,821 He wants to see you. He's asked if you'II Iook after him. 880 01:16:36,191 --> 01:16:37,385 Her? 881 01:16:39,328 --> 01:16:40,522 Yes. 882 01:17:08,390 --> 01:17:09,880 I'm sorry. 883 01:17:11,760 --> 01:17:13,591 PIease, forgive me. 884 01:17:18,066 --> 01:17:19,931 Let it go, Maurice. 885 01:17:21,236 --> 01:17:23,067 I'II do anything. 886 01:17:25,574 --> 01:17:26,802 PIease. 887 01:17:28,143 --> 01:17:30,304 I'II never be mean again. 888 01:17:32,414 --> 01:17:33,642 Sorry. 889 01:17:36,151 --> 01:17:37,641 JESSIE: I'm sorry. 890 01:17:50,132 --> 01:17:51,497 Maurice? 891 01:17:52,768 --> 01:17:54,133 Maurice? 892 01:17:55,337 --> 01:17:57,100 Can you hear me? 893 01:17:58,306 --> 01:17:59,830 Make a sign. 894 01:18:02,077 --> 01:18:03,442 Maurice? 895 01:18:14,589 --> 01:18:16,284 Look, Maurice. 896 01:18:32,541 --> 01:18:36,807 "Weary with toil, I haste me to my bed, 897 01:18:36,878 --> 01:18:41,611 "The dear repose for Iimbs with travel tired, 898 01:18:41,683 --> 01:18:44,777 "But then begins a journey in my head." 899 01:18:48,190 --> 01:18:49,987 What do you want? 900 01:19:11,847 --> 01:19:15,510 Well, they're coming to take you to hospital now. 901 01:19:15,584 --> 01:19:17,381 But I've got you. 902 01:19:18,754 --> 01:19:23,714 -Maurice. -I have got a much better idea. 903 01:19:24,993 --> 01:19:26,483 Have you? 904 01:21:03,992 --> 01:21:05,687 (JESSIE GIGGLING) 905 01:21:10,498 --> 01:21:13,433 I knew you would enjoy yourself. 906 01:21:20,141 --> 01:21:22,541 I think we should go home now. 907 01:21:23,778 --> 01:21:26,042 A Iittle Ionger. 908 01:21:30,518 --> 01:21:33,043 JESSIE: Are you tired? MAURICE: Oh, yes. 909 01:21:35,891 --> 01:21:38,724 -What shall we do? -Carry on. 910 01:21:40,462 --> 01:21:41,690 JESSIE: Yeah. 911 01:21:44,866 --> 01:21:47,562 Will you take off my boots? 912 01:21:50,338 --> 01:21:54,399 -It's too cold, Maurice. -I know. I know. 913 01:21:54,843 --> 01:21:57,812 It was always bloody cold. 914 01:21:59,481 --> 01:22:00,846 Will you? 915 01:22:03,718 --> 01:22:04,912 Yeah. 916 01:22:34,549 --> 01:22:36,574 (MAURICE LAUGHING) 917 01:22:58,106 --> 01:22:59,368 Now 918 01:23:01,576 --> 01:23:03,544 we can really talk. 919 01:23:05,246 --> 01:23:06,474 Yeah. 920 01:23:13,054 --> 01:23:15,079 (SNORING) 921 01:23:16,124 --> 01:23:17,557 Maurice? 922 01:23:19,794 --> 01:23:21,159 Maurice? 923 01:23:22,597 --> 01:23:23,962 Maurice? 924 01:23:26,067 --> 01:23:27,659 Maurice? 925 01:23:27,769 --> 01:23:29,100 No, Maurice. 926 01:23:29,170 --> 01:23:30,660 Maurice? 927 01:23:30,772 --> 01:23:33,263 Maurice, wake up! 928 01:23:33,341 --> 01:23:35,138 Wake up, Maurice. 929 01:23:41,016 --> 01:23:43,644 JESSIE: Excuse me, excuse me. 930 01:23:44,853 --> 01:23:48,016 I need to use your phone. I think he's dead. I think he's dead. 931 01:23:48,123 --> 01:23:50,421 I need to use your phone, please. I need to use your phone. 932 01:23:50,492 --> 01:23:52,824 PIease? PIease, I need you to call an ambulance. 933 01:23:52,927 --> 01:23:54,087 I don't know what to do. 934 01:23:54,162 --> 01:23:58,155 I think he's dead. I think he's dead. I don't know what to do. 935 01:24:46,815 --> 01:24:49,909 -So it was you. -What? 936 01:24:53,721 --> 01:24:55,712 I'm his wife. 937 01:24:55,824 --> 01:24:58,725 He was thinking about someone and it was you. 938 01:25:00,195 --> 01:25:03,358 Don't feel awkward. Ian told me. 939 01:25:04,532 --> 01:25:06,397 Ian still won't talk to me. 940 01:25:06,501 --> 01:25:09,868 He thinks I did for Maurice, the paddling and stuff. 941 01:25:09,938 --> 01:25:13,567 The paddling was marvelous, the best way to go. 942 01:25:15,710 --> 01:25:18,008 He really were a celebrity. 943 01:25:18,079 --> 01:25:21,276 When you die, everyone wants to be your friend. 944 01:25:24,452 --> 01:25:26,784 What are you going to do? 945 01:25:26,888 --> 01:25:30,187 I'm not going home. I can't go back now. 946 01:25:31,759 --> 01:25:34,421 And Ian won't have me in the house. 947 01:25:36,531 --> 01:25:39,591 I've got somewhere you could stay for a bit. 948 01:26:10,932 --> 01:26:12,399 WAITRESS: Here we go. 949 01:26:13,268 --> 01:26:15,168 Where's your friend? 950 01:26:22,243 --> 01:26:24,143 God, he was gorgeous. 951 01:26:24,979 --> 01:26:28,244 Yes, he was gorgeous. 952 01:26:49,704 --> 01:26:51,865 She wants to return these. 953 01:26:53,808 --> 01:26:55,366 Say thank you. 954 01:27:04,819 --> 01:27:07,481 She wants to know if you're still angry with her. 955 01:27:07,555 --> 01:27:09,546 She says she's sorry. 956 01:27:12,493 --> 01:27:15,792 Tell her I'm not angry now. 957 01:27:17,665 --> 01:27:21,328 I just wasn't ready for someone Iike her. 958 01:27:23,838 --> 01:27:25,897 He says he's not angry... 959 01:27:33,881 --> 01:27:36,247 She says she'II come round tomorrow, if you want. 960 01:27:36,351 --> 01:27:38,512 She'II cook you some fish. 961 01:27:40,722 --> 01:27:42,155 Tell her 962 01:27:45,026 --> 01:27:47,085 we can cook the fish 963 01:27:49,230 --> 01:27:50,595 together. 964 01:27:51,566 --> 01:27:53,056 Are you sure you don't want to come in? 965 01:27:53,167 --> 01:27:55,863 -No, no. -AII right, see you then. 966 01:28:43,618 --> 01:28:45,950 How many columns did he get?