1 00:00:01,799 --> 00:00:04,000 (UPBEAT FRENCH MUSIC PLAYING) 2 00:01:42,100 --> 00:01:47,100 Subtitles by explosiveskull Colored by novabros 3 00:01:48,831 --> 00:01:50,663 Hi, moms, Stephanie here. 4 00:01:50,665 --> 00:01:53,129 Today, as promised, I'm gonna share 5 00:01:53,131 --> 00:01:56,395 my zucchini chocolate chip cookie recipe. 6 00:01:56,397 --> 00:01:58,296 But first, many of you have asked me 7 00:01:58,298 --> 00:02:00,662 for an update on the Emily situation. 8 00:02:00,664 --> 00:02:03,297 And for those of you who are new to my vlog, 9 00:02:03,299 --> 00:02:07,063 you should know my best friend, Emily, is missing right now. 10 00:02:07,065 --> 00:02:09,230 She asked me a simple favor, 11 00:02:09,232 --> 00:02:11,530 to pick up her son, Nicky, from school, 12 00:02:11,532 --> 00:02:14,330 which was five days ago. 13 00:02:14,332 --> 00:02:16,166 And she hasn't come back yet, so... 14 00:02:17,231 --> 00:02:18,566 (CRYING) 15 00:02:23,199 --> 00:02:25,096 I'm sorry, we're all really worried, 16 00:02:25,098 --> 00:02:30,230 and I'm doing everything I can to help the police track her down. 17 00:02:30,232 --> 00:02:33,330 But I'm realizing I don't (SNIFFLES) know her as well as I thought I did. 18 00:02:33,332 --> 00:02:35,130 It's like my mom used to say, 19 00:02:35,132 --> 00:02:36,797 God rest her soul. Um... 20 00:02:36,799 --> 00:02:38,830 Secrets are like margarine, 21 00:02:38,832 --> 00:02:41,530 easy to spread, bad for the heart. (SNIFFLES) 22 00:02:41,532 --> 00:02:43,297 But as different as we are, 23 00:02:43,299 --> 00:02:45,330 I do consider Emily my best friend. 24 00:02:45,332 --> 00:02:48,362 She is this wonderful, elegant person. 25 00:02:48,364 --> 00:02:50,830 And our sons brought us together, actually. 26 00:02:50,832 --> 00:02:53,163 (THUNDER RUMBLING) Well, for our new friends, 27 00:02:53,165 --> 00:02:54,762 I'll just start from the beginning. 28 00:02:54,764 --> 00:02:57,562 I met Emily a few weeks ago 29 00:02:57,564 --> 00:02:58,562 at school. 30 00:02:58,564 --> 00:03:00,463 It was International Cuisine Day 31 00:03:00,465 --> 00:03:02,296 in my son's first grade class. 32 00:03:02,298 --> 00:03:04,197 And once again, I drew Sweden, 33 00:03:04,199 --> 00:03:06,595 which meant my famous meatless meatballs. 34 00:03:06,597 --> 00:03:08,196 You're all dead! 35 00:03:08,198 --> 00:03:10,129 I killed everyone! 36 00:03:10,131 --> 00:03:12,297 Not me. I came back to life. 37 00:03:12,299 --> 00:03:14,196 (CAMERA CLICKING) I want to thank everyone, 38 00:03:14,198 --> 00:03:17,797 who participated in today's feast. Yay! 39 00:03:17,799 --> 00:03:19,529 Class, haven't we learned so much 40 00:03:19,531 --> 00:03:21,296 about food from all around the world? 41 00:03:21,298 --> 00:03:22,530 CHILDREN: Yes! 42 00:03:22,532 --> 00:03:24,595 Give your parents a big round of applause. 43 00:03:24,597 --> 00:03:26,230 STEPHANIE: That looks great! 44 00:03:26,232 --> 00:03:27,663 Big smile! SONA: Oh, my gosh. 45 00:03:27,665 --> 00:03:29,696 Where does she get all that energy from? 46 00:03:29,698 --> 00:03:30,695 STEPHANIE: What are you looking at? 47 00:03:30,697 --> 00:03:32,763 I think there's crystal meth in those meatballs. 48 00:03:32,765 --> 00:03:35,096 Oh, parents, there's a sign-up sheet on the board 49 00:03:35,098 --> 00:03:37,362 for our Fun Fair next week. (CHUCKLES NERVOUSLY) 50 00:04:08,499 --> 00:04:10,896 Uh, please, Stephanie, don't sign up 51 00:04:10,898 --> 00:04:12,595 for more than one job. 52 00:04:12,597 --> 00:04:15,562 I'm not sure everyone else has had a chance to volunteer. 53 00:04:15,564 --> 00:04:16,732 (TOYS CLATTERING) 54 00:04:18,431 --> 00:04:20,463 Miles, sweetie, sweetie, maybe just be careful 55 00:04:20,465 --> 00:04:22,495 with your fingers with Nicky's truck, okay? 56 00:04:22,497 --> 00:04:24,264 Has Nicky's mom volunteered? 57 00:04:24,266 --> 00:04:25,863 Emily? Please. She wouldn't know 58 00:04:25,865 --> 00:04:27,430 a sign-up sheet if it bit her on the ass. 59 00:04:27,432 --> 00:04:30,264 God, it'd be my dream to run PR for Dennis Nylon. 60 00:04:30,266 --> 00:04:31,962 Can you imagine all the free shit she must get? 61 00:04:31,964 --> 00:04:32,829 DARREN: I know. Okay, 62 00:04:32,831 --> 00:04:34,495 I'm crossing myself off decorations. 63 00:04:34,497 --> 00:04:35,962 I can leave that open for Emily. 64 00:04:35,964 --> 00:04:36,997 And then if she can't make it, 65 00:04:36,999 --> 00:04:38,863 I can still bring my balloons and helium tank. 66 00:04:38,865 --> 00:04:40,329 Please tell me you don't actually 67 00:04:40,331 --> 00:04:42,296 own a helium tank, Stephanie. 68 00:04:42,298 --> 00:04:44,662 I think lots of people own helium tanks, Stacy. 69 00:04:44,664 --> 00:04:46,329 Because kids love balloons. 70 00:04:46,331 --> 00:04:47,730 Do you not have one? 71 00:04:47,732 --> 00:04:50,595 You a bad parent? (CHUCKLES) I'm kidding. 72 00:04:50,597 --> 00:04:52,029 We're terrible parents. 73 00:04:52,031 --> 00:04:54,829 I think it's a perfect plan, Stephanie. 74 00:04:54,831 --> 00:04:57,595 Good thinking, Stephanie. 75 00:04:57,597 --> 00:04:59,463 (SCHOOL BELL RINGS) 76 00:04:59,465 --> 00:05:00,895 Hey, Smooch! 77 00:05:00,897 --> 00:05:03,462 Oh, great work today, Smooch. 78 00:05:03,464 --> 00:05:04,528 Smooch! 79 00:05:04,530 --> 00:05:06,296 Thanks a lot, Mom. Oh. 80 00:05:06,298 --> 00:05:08,330 Can me and Miles have a play date today? 81 00:05:08,332 --> 00:05:10,297 Um, I don't know, sweetie. 82 00:05:10,299 --> 00:05:11,562 I think we need to ask your mommy, 83 00:05:11,564 --> 00:05:13,428 and she's still in the city. 84 00:05:13,430 --> 00:05:14,662 She's right there. 85 00:05:14,664 --> 00:05:15,966 (CAR DOOR OPENS) 86 00:05:27,798 --> 00:05:29,766 (WIND HOWLING) 87 00:05:31,698 --> 00:05:33,698 (THUNDER RUMBLING) 88 00:05:38,498 --> 00:05:40,562 Come here, little dude. 89 00:05:40,564 --> 00:05:42,795 Oh, my baby! (KISSES) 90 00:05:42,797 --> 00:05:45,730 Look at your shirt. Did any food make it into your mouth? 91 00:05:45,732 --> 00:05:47,696 Ask her, Nicky, ask her! 92 00:05:47,698 --> 00:05:48,796 Ask me what? 93 00:05:48,798 --> 00:05:49,762 NICKY: We want a play date. 94 00:05:49,764 --> 00:05:52,029 Oh, we can't. Mommy already has a play date 95 00:05:52,031 --> 00:05:54,562 with a symphony of anti-depressants. Let's go. 96 00:05:54,564 --> 00:05:56,663 BOTH: (CHANTING) Play date! Play date! Play date! 97 00:05:56,665 --> 00:05:58,830 Baby, please don't do this. I gotta go. 98 00:05:58,832 --> 00:06:00,264 Come on. I got a ton of work to do. 99 00:06:00,266 --> 00:06:01,730 You don't let me have any fun. 100 00:06:01,732 --> 00:06:04,595 That's not true. I let you tear my labia 101 00:06:04,597 --> 00:06:06,566 as you exited my body, so you're welcome. 102 00:06:09,797 --> 00:06:11,396 Do you drink? 103 00:06:11,398 --> 00:06:14,528 I need a martini. Oh! Uh... 104 00:06:14,530 --> 00:06:17,630 Yeah. I like martinis. I haven't had one in a long time. 105 00:06:17,632 --> 00:06:20,428 They're good, though. Had one that was mostly chocolate. 106 00:06:20,430 --> 00:06:22,630 And I was like, "Alcohol and chocolate!" 107 00:06:22,632 --> 00:06:23,696 (CHUCKLES) Mom life. 108 00:06:23,698 --> 00:06:26,830 Oh, okay. No play date. Come on, kid, let's go. 109 00:06:26,832 --> 00:06:28,528 Then I'm staying here. 110 00:06:28,530 --> 00:06:30,896 Christ, he's fucking stubborn. 111 00:06:30,898 --> 00:06:33,264 It doesn't have to have the chocolate in it. 112 00:06:33,266 --> 00:06:36,996 Okay, I don't think I'm gonna win this, so, um... 113 00:06:36,998 --> 00:06:40,463 I mean, do you wanna come over for a beverage of any kind? 114 00:06:40,465 --> 00:06:41,962 I think I could use some backup. 115 00:06:41,964 --> 00:06:43,595 That's me? I'm backup? 116 00:06:43,597 --> 00:06:45,264 Does your kid drink, maybe? 117 00:06:45,266 --> 00:06:47,296 I mean, it's never too early to start teaching them. 118 00:06:47,298 --> 00:06:49,428 I think you're joking, but great. 119 00:06:49,430 --> 00:06:50,895 Sweetie... Hey, you, let's go. 120 00:06:50,897 --> 00:06:51,830 Let's get your umbrella out, okay? 121 00:06:51,832 --> 00:06:54,896 Because we're gonna go out in the rain. 122 00:06:54,898 --> 00:06:57,328 STACY: What on Earth are those two gonna talk about? 123 00:06:57,330 --> 00:07:00,696 Emily's gonna eat poor Stephanie alive. 124 00:07:00,698 --> 00:07:02,730 At least she'd be eating something. 125 00:07:02,732 --> 00:07:05,464 (GIRL BABBLING) What is your problem? 126 00:07:13,464 --> 00:07:15,630 Go show him your room. Go. 127 00:07:15,632 --> 00:07:17,296 STEPHANIE: Oh, please don't run! 128 00:07:17,298 --> 00:07:19,266 Be safe please! 129 00:07:21,498 --> 00:07:22,830 Cute socks. 130 00:07:22,832 --> 00:07:24,595 STEPHANIE: Oh, thanks! 131 00:07:24,597 --> 00:07:26,496 They're from Target. It's 10 bucks a pack. 132 00:07:26,498 --> 00:07:27,962 So great, Target. Yeah. 133 00:07:27,964 --> 00:07:29,062 They have other animals. 134 00:07:29,064 --> 00:07:31,965 They have these squirrel ones are cute, chipmunks, 135 00:07:32,865 --> 00:07:33,899 beavers... 136 00:07:34,565 --> 00:07:37,730 That's so lifelike. 137 00:07:37,732 --> 00:07:38,929 EMILY: Yeah. 138 00:07:38,931 --> 00:07:40,495 Do you like it? 139 00:07:40,497 --> 00:07:42,731 (STAMMERS) How could you not? It's, um... 140 00:07:43,031 --> 00:07:44,663 Right? 141 00:07:44,665 --> 00:07:46,895 I used to dye my hair. I get bored easily. 142 00:07:46,897 --> 00:07:48,630 STEPHANIE: Yeah. 143 00:07:48,632 --> 00:07:50,463 Did you paint that? 144 00:07:50,465 --> 00:07:53,395 No. No, no. It's made by an almost famous painter 145 00:07:53,397 --> 00:07:54,396 from the East Village. (MELLOW FRENCH MUSIC PLAYING) 146 00:07:54,398 --> 00:07:56,563 My life is littered with almost-somebodies. 147 00:07:56,565 --> 00:07:58,462 I did some art modeling in school 148 00:07:58,464 --> 00:08:00,029 to pay my way through. 149 00:08:00,031 --> 00:08:02,429 Then the pervert got obsessed with me. 150 00:08:02,431 --> 00:08:03,830 Oh, well, that happens, yeah. 151 00:08:03,832 --> 00:08:05,263 So I stole the painting, you know, 152 00:08:05,265 --> 00:08:06,663 thinking it'd be worth something someday. 153 00:08:06,665 --> 00:08:09,465 But, no. (CLICKS TONGUE) No such luck. 154 00:08:11,530 --> 00:08:13,495 This house is incredible. 155 00:08:13,497 --> 00:08:14,862 Thanks. It's a fucking money pit. 156 00:08:14,864 --> 00:08:17,830 Oopsy. Hmm? 157 00:08:17,832 --> 00:08:21,663 Oh, sorry. It's, um, what we say at my house when someone swears. 158 00:08:21,665 --> 00:08:22,895 It's a force of habit. 159 00:08:22,897 --> 00:08:25,930 We have an oopsy jar in the pantry. 160 00:08:25,932 --> 00:08:27,262 It's like, you know. 161 00:08:27,264 --> 00:08:29,895 Put a quarter in for every bad word. 162 00:08:29,897 --> 00:08:31,730 You should smash the oopsy jar. 163 00:08:31,732 --> 00:08:32,829 That might change your life. 164 00:08:32,831 --> 00:08:34,729 Yeah. Ugh. Sorry. 165 00:08:34,731 --> 00:08:35,896 Don't say sorry. 166 00:08:35,898 --> 00:08:37,896 You don't need to do that. You don't need to apologize. 167 00:08:37,898 --> 00:08:39,428 It's a fucked-up female habit. 168 00:08:39,430 --> 00:08:41,429 You don't need to be sorry for anything, ever. 169 00:08:41,431 --> 00:08:43,595 That's true. That's great advice. 170 00:08:43,597 --> 00:08:44,865 Thank you. 171 00:08:46,365 --> 00:08:47,896 I love this music, by the way. 172 00:08:47,898 --> 00:08:49,462 Thanks. Yeah. 173 00:08:49,464 --> 00:08:51,563 Makes me forget I'm stuck in this shithole. 174 00:08:51,565 --> 00:08:52,963 I'm gonna go get booze. 175 00:08:52,965 --> 00:08:54,299 Great! 176 00:08:56,365 --> 00:08:57,799 (FRENCH MUSIC CONTINUES PLAYING) 177 00:09:16,530 --> 00:09:17,531 (GASPS) 178 00:09:19,397 --> 00:09:20,962 (CLEARS THROAT) 179 00:09:20,964 --> 00:09:23,566 I was really caught up in the ambiance. 180 00:09:24,531 --> 00:09:25,696 (LAUGHS) 181 00:09:25,698 --> 00:09:27,532 Come on, give me a little more. 182 00:09:28,465 --> 00:09:30,795 Oh! (LAUGHING) 183 00:09:30,797 --> 00:09:33,030 I liked it. I may join you later. 184 00:09:33,032 --> 00:09:35,796 Oh! You must love cooking in this kitchen! 185 00:09:35,798 --> 00:09:38,762 No, not really. Sean does. 186 00:09:38,764 --> 00:09:41,763 I think it's probably just an excuse to avoid writing. 187 00:09:41,765 --> 00:09:43,362 Your husband's a writer? 188 00:09:43,364 --> 00:09:45,395 No. He wrote a book 10 years ago. 189 00:09:45,397 --> 00:09:46,729 It made him the toast of the town. 190 00:09:46,731 --> 00:09:47,930 I actually had to stalk him 191 00:09:47,932 --> 00:09:49,097 to make him fall in love with me. 192 00:09:49,099 --> 00:09:52,529 But then, nothing. He never wrote anything ever again. 193 00:09:52,531 --> 00:09:55,029 It's the old bait-and-switch. What was the book? 194 00:09:55,031 --> 00:09:57,329 It's called Darkness at Dawn. 195 00:09:57,331 --> 00:09:59,696 Oh, my gosh! I read that in my book club! 196 00:09:59,698 --> 00:10:00,997 Really? This was... Yeah. 197 00:10:00,999 --> 00:10:02,862 Well, this was back when I first became a single mom, 198 00:10:02,864 --> 00:10:05,329 and I joined this book club, and that was the first book we read. 199 00:10:05,331 --> 00:10:07,262 It's so impressive. 200 00:10:07,264 --> 00:10:08,298 So you're divorced, then? 201 00:10:09,530 --> 00:10:10,565 Widowed. 202 00:10:13,265 --> 00:10:14,766 Do you mind if I ask how he died? 203 00:10:23,897 --> 00:10:26,030 Car accident. 204 00:10:26,032 --> 00:10:28,895 Oh. How awful. Yeah. 205 00:10:28,897 --> 00:10:31,496 My brother, Chris, was in the passenger seat, so... 206 00:10:31,498 --> 00:10:33,328 You're kidding. 207 00:10:33,330 --> 00:10:34,562 One fell swoop, and the two 208 00:10:34,564 --> 00:10:36,630 most important men in my life were gone. 209 00:10:36,632 --> 00:10:38,629 Normally, sad stories don't get to me. 210 00:10:38,631 --> 00:10:39,763 But that one... 211 00:10:39,765 --> 00:10:41,295 That one did. That was brutal. 212 00:10:41,297 --> 00:10:42,996 I don't talk about it a lot. 213 00:10:42,998 --> 00:10:44,329 Especially with people I just met. 214 00:10:44,331 --> 00:10:46,696 I'm really sorry. Oh! Mmm... 215 00:10:46,698 --> 00:10:47,962 Baby, if you apologize again, 216 00:10:47,964 --> 00:10:49,595 I'm gonna have to slap the sorry out of you. 217 00:10:49,597 --> 00:10:51,529 Yeah. That's... I'm not sorry. 218 00:10:51,531 --> 00:10:53,296 That's a hard habit to break, though. 219 00:10:53,298 --> 00:10:54,729 It is. 220 00:10:54,731 --> 00:10:56,696 So, are you dating anyone? 221 00:10:56,698 --> 00:10:58,997 No. Slim pickings in Warfield. 222 00:10:58,999 --> 00:11:02,263 Well, you are an hour and a half outside the city. 223 00:11:02,265 --> 00:11:05,529 I'm not gonna date someone from the city. (CHUCKLES) 224 00:11:05,531 --> 00:11:07,428 I tried eHarmony for a while, 225 00:11:07,430 --> 00:11:08,695 and then that mother of three wound up 226 00:11:08,697 --> 00:11:09,896 with her head in the trash can, 227 00:11:09,898 --> 00:11:11,696 you remember that? And I... Ugh. 228 00:11:11,698 --> 00:11:13,662 I said, "No thank you. Delete." 229 00:11:13,664 --> 00:11:15,362 (LAUGHS) What? 230 00:11:15,364 --> 00:11:16,495 Come on, baby, 231 00:11:16,497 --> 00:11:19,463 you're too sexy to give up. (CHUCKLES) 232 00:11:19,465 --> 00:11:21,562 That's nice. I don't know. Um... 233 00:11:21,564 --> 00:11:23,496 If your head's gonna end up in a trash can, 234 00:11:23,498 --> 00:11:25,362 your head's gonna end up in a trash can. 235 00:11:25,364 --> 00:11:27,930 I just didn't think I would end up a single mom, 236 00:11:27,932 --> 00:11:29,695 struggling to make ends meet. 237 00:11:29,697 --> 00:11:31,428 I mean, my husband had life insurance, 238 00:11:31,430 --> 00:11:32,963 thank goodness, but not a lot. 239 00:11:32,965 --> 00:11:34,596 I put half of that away for Miles' college, 240 00:11:34,598 --> 00:11:37,562 and so, with that coming in, 241 00:11:37,564 --> 00:11:40,328 the money still runs out in 2020. 242 00:11:40,330 --> 00:11:41,830 Thank God for his life insurance. 243 00:11:41,832 --> 00:11:42,896 Yeah. 244 00:11:42,898 --> 00:11:43,929 My husband doesn't have anything 245 00:11:43,931 --> 00:11:46,028 if it makes you feel better. But he does spend like 246 00:11:46,030 --> 00:11:47,729 he's the man of the hour. (CHUCKLES) 247 00:11:47,731 --> 00:11:49,630 Fucking have to pay for everything. 248 00:11:49,632 --> 00:11:51,562 We can't even sell this house. 249 00:11:51,564 --> 00:11:53,262 We bought it during the bubble. 250 00:11:53,264 --> 00:11:54,929 I love your house. 251 00:11:54,931 --> 00:11:56,930 Don't dream of selling it. 252 00:11:56,932 --> 00:12:01,199 If I were you, I'd just bask in this kitchen all day long! 253 00:12:02,431 --> 00:12:05,363 Then you should move in. (CHUCKLES) 254 00:12:05,365 --> 00:12:07,029 Here. Cheers to being house poor. 255 00:12:07,031 --> 00:12:08,632 Yes, cheers! 256 00:12:11,664 --> 00:12:12,665 EMILY: Mmm. What? 257 00:12:13,498 --> 00:12:14,830 STEPHANIE: That's, uh... 258 00:12:14,832 --> 00:12:16,563 It's just another one of my bad decisions. 259 00:12:16,565 --> 00:12:18,696 Yeah. (CHUCKLES NERVOUSLY) It's great. 260 00:12:18,698 --> 00:12:19,930 Is that a charity symbol? 261 00:12:19,932 --> 00:12:23,263 Yeah, Mother Teresa and I are, like, the same person, so... 262 00:12:23,265 --> 00:12:25,595 It's a nice contrast with your ring. 263 00:12:25,597 --> 00:12:27,929 Thanks. Yeah, this is a family heirloom. 264 00:12:27,931 --> 00:12:29,528 It belonged to Sean's great-grandmom, 265 00:12:29,530 --> 00:12:30,528 and then his mom, 266 00:12:30,530 --> 00:12:32,496 and she insisted that I have it, so, you know? 267 00:12:32,498 --> 00:12:34,263 SEAN: Whose Subaru is blocking the garage? 268 00:12:34,265 --> 00:12:37,263 Speak of the devil. Oh, that's mine. I'm sorry... 269 00:12:37,265 --> 00:12:39,296 You're what? Mmm... 270 00:12:39,298 --> 00:12:40,996 Your wife is trying to get me to stop apologizing. 271 00:12:40,998 --> 00:12:44,463 Or maybe you can get her to start. 272 00:12:44,465 --> 00:12:46,630 Oh! Hi. Hi. 273 00:12:46,632 --> 00:12:47,862 Hi. EMILY: Hi. 274 00:12:47,864 --> 00:12:49,729 Oh, martini time? 275 00:12:49,731 --> 00:12:51,563 I'm sure it's 5:00 somewhere. 276 00:12:51,565 --> 00:12:52,696 Oh, my God, did you just come up 277 00:12:52,698 --> 00:12:53,863 with that cliche by yourself? 278 00:12:53,865 --> 00:12:55,362 He's such a brilliant writer. 279 00:12:55,364 --> 00:12:57,596 I have to say, you inspire me. 280 00:12:57,598 --> 00:12:59,028 EMILY: Not enough, apparently. 281 00:12:59,030 --> 00:13:00,496 SEAN: "Why, thank you very much 282 00:13:00,498 --> 00:13:01,995 "for going to the grocery store," he said, 283 00:13:01,997 --> 00:13:04,729 dripping with sarcasm. 284 00:13:04,731 --> 00:13:06,428 Oh, I figured you'd want a break 285 00:13:06,430 --> 00:13:09,029 from not writing ever. (LAUGHS) 286 00:13:09,031 --> 00:13:12,629 With that fatal blow, she won the joust. 287 00:13:12,631 --> 00:13:14,463 Well played. Hmm. Thank you. 288 00:13:14,465 --> 00:13:16,029 This is Stephanie. Hi, Stephanie. 289 00:13:16,031 --> 00:13:17,796 Her kid goes to Warfield with our kid. 290 00:13:17,798 --> 00:13:19,232 She read your book. 291 00:13:20,364 --> 00:13:21,862 I did. I loved it! 292 00:13:21,864 --> 00:13:23,496 It reminded me of William Thackeray. 293 00:13:23,498 --> 00:13:24,695 She really read it. 294 00:13:24,697 --> 00:13:26,428 Wow, not many people 295 00:13:26,430 --> 00:13:27,796 trot out Thackeray as a reference. 296 00:13:27,798 --> 00:13:29,928 Oh, I was an English major at Barnard. 297 00:13:29,930 --> 00:13:31,328 It was pre-mommy brain. 298 00:13:31,330 --> 00:13:32,896 I did my thesis on the Canterbury Tales. 299 00:13:32,898 --> 00:13:34,928 "And with that word Arcite gan espye, 300 00:13:34,930 --> 00:13:37,262 "whereas this lady roamed to and fro." 301 00:13:37,264 --> 00:13:40,464 "And with that sight, her beauty hurt him so." 302 00:13:41,931 --> 00:13:43,529 I'm sorry, do you guys wanna get a room? 303 00:13:43,531 --> 00:13:45,265 Am I breaking this up? (ALL CHUCKLING) 304 00:13:45,631 --> 00:13:46,563 I like that. 305 00:13:46,565 --> 00:13:48,896 Hey, do you want me to make you a drink? 306 00:13:48,898 --> 00:13:50,562 No. I'm good. You guys enjoy. 307 00:13:50,564 --> 00:13:51,863 I'm gonna head upstairs for a shower. 308 00:13:51,865 --> 00:13:53,862 Okay. 309 00:13:53,864 --> 00:13:55,928 SEAN: Nice to meet you, Sharon. 310 00:13:55,930 --> 00:13:58,762 Yeah. It's lovely to meet you. 311 00:13:58,764 --> 00:14:00,562 He's terrible with names. 312 00:14:00,564 --> 00:14:02,929 Oh, yeah. I mean, Stephanie's crazy. 313 00:14:02,931 --> 00:14:05,961 Like P-H-what? (CHUCKLES) 314 00:14:05,963 --> 00:14:08,295 You guys are such a cute couple. 315 00:14:08,297 --> 00:14:10,028 Yeah, we're on the verge of bankruptcy, 316 00:14:10,030 --> 00:14:12,362 and we can't find a decent nanny 317 00:14:12,364 --> 00:14:13,699 in all of Connecticut, so... 318 00:14:14,930 --> 00:14:16,262 Drowning. 319 00:14:16,264 --> 00:14:17,928 If you ever need me to pick up Nicky 320 00:14:17,930 --> 00:14:19,528 after school and take him to my house, 321 00:14:19,530 --> 00:14:21,798 even if you just need the night off... 322 00:14:22,598 --> 00:14:23,862 You'd do that for me? 323 00:14:23,864 --> 00:14:25,431 Yeah. Anything. 324 00:14:30,697 --> 00:14:31,897 (CLEARS THROAT) 325 00:14:34,597 --> 00:14:35,996 Hi, moms, Stephanie here. 326 00:14:35,998 --> 00:14:38,766 If it's your first visit to the vlog, a hearty welcome. 327 00:14:39,765 --> 00:14:41,729 Today's theme is friendship. 328 00:14:41,731 --> 00:14:43,864 So today, I thought we would make 329 00:14:45,565 --> 00:14:47,495 friendship bracelets! 330 00:14:47,497 --> 00:14:49,028 (CELL PHONE RINGING) I have never understood 331 00:14:49,030 --> 00:14:51,262 these silly, hurtful divisions 332 00:14:51,264 --> 00:14:53,495 between working moms and stay-at-home moms. 333 00:14:53,497 --> 00:14:54,929 Honestly, I have found it difficult 334 00:14:54,931 --> 00:14:56,762 to make friends with either. 335 00:14:56,764 --> 00:14:59,396 Emily! Hi, what's up, lady? 336 00:14:59,398 --> 00:15:00,829 EMILY: Hey, I was wondering if I could 337 00:15:00,831 --> 00:15:02,562 take you up on your offer to pick up Nicky. 338 00:15:02,564 --> 00:15:04,563 I'm in a meeting with no end in sight. 339 00:15:04,565 --> 00:15:06,362 Uh, yeah, I'm happy to help. 340 00:15:06,364 --> 00:15:09,295 Actually, I just got this jumbo set of Perler beads... 341 00:15:09,297 --> 00:15:10,762 EMILY: Yeah, yeah, okay. You're the best. 342 00:15:10,764 --> 00:15:13,695 Okay. Um, just... Does Nicky have any dietary restrictions? 343 00:15:13,697 --> 00:15:16,861 Yeah, just don't feed him shit he doesn't like. Thanks. 344 00:15:16,863 --> 00:15:19,429 Don't feed... Okay. 345 00:15:19,431 --> 00:15:21,332 Oh, my God, she's so funny. 346 00:15:22,398 --> 00:15:24,828 Whoo! 347 00:15:24,830 --> 00:15:27,629 EMILY: No, no, no, Dennis, this is what's gonna happen. 348 00:15:27,631 --> 00:15:28,996 I'm gonna do my job, 349 00:15:28,998 --> 00:15:30,428 you're gonna take some pills, 350 00:15:30,430 --> 00:15:32,562 and then I'm gonna call you later. Okay? 351 00:15:32,564 --> 00:15:34,264 What? Oh, oh, I can't hear you. 352 00:15:35,295 --> 00:15:35,663 I'm in an elevator. 353 00:15:35,665 --> 00:15:37,562 STEPHANIE: I am hungry for flesh! 354 00:15:37,564 --> 00:15:38,765 (CHILDREN PLAYING) 355 00:15:42,864 --> 00:15:45,894 Just Darth Mommy, it's this game... 356 00:15:45,896 --> 00:15:47,296 It's really silly. 357 00:15:47,298 --> 00:15:48,596 Honestly, his dad was much better 358 00:15:48,598 --> 00:15:49,794 at the roughhousing stuff. 359 00:15:49,796 --> 00:15:51,562 Don't do that. Do what? 360 00:15:51,564 --> 00:15:52,996 Don't denigrate your good parenting 361 00:15:52,998 --> 00:15:54,861 to comfort me for my shitty parenting. 362 00:15:54,863 --> 00:15:56,629 Oh, gosh, no, Emily, that's... 363 00:15:56,631 --> 00:15:57,828 That's not what I was doing at all. 364 00:15:57,830 --> 00:15:59,328 I think you're a super mom. 365 00:15:59,330 --> 00:16:00,562 Oh, no, you don't. 366 00:16:00,564 --> 00:16:01,629 Come on, your kid had 367 00:16:01,631 --> 00:16:02,929 lobster bisque for lunch the other day. 368 00:16:02,931 --> 00:16:04,730 I'm lucky if I remember my kid's lunch box. 369 00:16:04,732 --> 00:16:05,929 Honestly, it's fine. 370 00:16:05,931 --> 00:16:08,332 The nicest thing I could do for Nicky is blow my brains out. 371 00:16:12,531 --> 00:16:13,663 I'm kidding. 372 00:16:13,665 --> 00:16:15,629 Right. Yeah. Well... 373 00:16:15,631 --> 00:16:19,263 You do work in the city, so... 374 00:16:19,265 --> 00:16:21,432 Oh, my gosh! Oh, my gosh! 375 00:16:22,632 --> 00:16:23,932 (CAMERA CLICKS) 376 00:16:26,931 --> 00:16:28,730 Did you just take my picture? 377 00:16:28,732 --> 00:16:30,296 I'm yearbook mom. 378 00:16:30,298 --> 00:16:32,029 Did I ask you to take my picture? 379 00:16:32,031 --> 00:16:33,196 Erase it. 380 00:16:33,198 --> 00:16:35,662 You look really chic, it's just for "Faces and Places." 381 00:16:35,664 --> 00:16:36,996 Just for the other parents. 382 00:16:36,998 --> 00:16:38,829 Erase it or I'll slap a fucking injunction 383 00:16:38,831 --> 00:16:40,429 on your yearbook, do you understand? 384 00:16:40,431 --> 00:16:41,962 Yeah. Okay. 385 00:16:41,964 --> 00:16:43,762 (CAMERA BEEPING) Yeah, it's gone. 386 00:16:43,764 --> 00:16:45,363 Whoa. Bye-bye. 387 00:16:45,365 --> 00:16:46,861 Don't do that again. 388 00:16:46,863 --> 00:16:48,663 Oh, my gosh, I'm so sorry. 389 00:16:48,665 --> 00:16:51,761 Or, I didn't mean to offend you. 390 00:16:51,763 --> 00:16:53,495 Um... I'm sure that stuff's 391 00:16:53,497 --> 00:16:54,862 really sensitive in your industry. 392 00:16:54,864 --> 00:16:56,496 (CELL PHONE RINGING) Oh, no. It's all good. 393 00:16:56,498 --> 00:16:57,630 I guess I'm probably not the kind of person 394 00:16:57,632 --> 00:16:58,729 you're normally friends with. 395 00:16:58,731 --> 00:17:01,696 Oh, you do not wanna be friends with me. Trust me. 396 00:17:01,698 --> 00:17:02,928 Dennis, sweetie, 397 00:17:02,930 --> 00:17:04,595 let's try this again. Um... 398 00:17:04,597 --> 00:17:05,996 Okay, I want you to go home 399 00:17:05,998 --> 00:17:07,395 and chill the fuck out 400 00:17:07,397 --> 00:17:08,865 and don't ever call me again. Bye. 401 00:17:10,598 --> 00:17:11,928 That's how you talk to your boss? 402 00:17:11,930 --> 00:17:13,895 Yeah. You know, you gotta go right at 'em. 403 00:17:13,897 --> 00:17:15,295 Especially the powerful ones. 404 00:17:15,297 --> 00:17:16,765 Or they will fuck you in the face. 405 00:17:17,497 --> 00:17:19,794 Yeah, I get that. 406 00:17:19,796 --> 00:17:21,328 Wanna get out of here? 407 00:17:21,330 --> 00:17:22,695 Mommy needs a drink. 408 00:17:22,697 --> 00:17:24,496 (FRENCH MUSIC PLAYING) Yeah. 409 00:17:24,498 --> 00:17:25,663 Totally. 410 00:17:25,665 --> 00:17:26,932 Nicky! 411 00:17:27,897 --> 00:17:29,828 STEPHANIE: Okay, guys... 412 00:17:29,830 --> 00:17:31,961 I guess we're going. 413 00:17:31,963 --> 00:17:34,663 EMILY: Hey! Nicky, come! Now! 414 00:17:34,665 --> 00:17:36,961 Okay. I have a gift for you. Please close your eyes. 415 00:17:36,963 --> 00:17:38,328 Mmm-mmm. Yeah. Hold out 416 00:17:38,330 --> 00:17:39,396 your tattoo hand, please. 417 00:17:39,398 --> 00:17:40,895 This is happening. I'll wait all day. 418 00:17:40,897 --> 00:17:42,432 Are you propositioning me? Yes. 419 00:17:43,696 --> 00:17:45,299 Here. I made that for you. 420 00:17:46,896 --> 00:17:48,028 You made this for me? 421 00:17:48,030 --> 00:17:50,528 Thought it would go with that pinstriped suit you have. 422 00:17:50,530 --> 00:17:51,995 Really? That's nice. 423 00:17:51,997 --> 00:17:53,928 No one does stuff like this for me. 424 00:17:53,930 --> 00:17:57,496 I used to watch those Bewitched reruns on TV Land, 425 00:17:57,498 --> 00:17:59,028 and I always thought it was so classy 426 00:17:59,030 --> 00:18:00,428 when Darrin would come from work 427 00:18:00,430 --> 00:18:02,329 and Samantha would fix him a martini. 428 00:18:02,331 --> 00:18:04,894 Every time we do this, I feel so high-tone. 429 00:18:04,896 --> 00:18:08,630 My God, you're such a nerd. (CHUCKLES WEAKLY) 430 00:18:08,632 --> 00:18:10,895 Ugh. Fuck this. I need a real martini. 431 00:18:10,897 --> 00:18:12,529 This one's not real? Nope. 432 00:18:12,531 --> 00:18:14,429 Sean and I had the real thing at Dukes in London. 433 00:18:14,431 --> 00:18:16,728 The key, frozen gin. 434 00:18:16,730 --> 00:18:19,495 And a frozen glass. Here. 435 00:18:19,497 --> 00:18:20,730 Move, bad martini. 436 00:18:21,564 --> 00:18:22,895 Okay. 437 00:18:22,897 --> 00:18:24,828 Little bit of vermouth. 438 00:18:24,830 --> 00:18:27,996 Swirl it around, dump. (SPLASHES) 439 00:18:27,998 --> 00:18:30,396 Don't you dare touch that wash cloth. 440 00:18:30,398 --> 00:18:32,731 Then add in the gin. 441 00:18:33,365 --> 00:18:34,795 Mmm. 442 00:18:34,797 --> 00:18:35,865 Cut your twist. 443 00:18:38,530 --> 00:18:41,729 Squeeze it, outside out. Get a nice little mist. 444 00:18:41,731 --> 00:18:43,729 Lick the edges. Voila. 445 00:18:43,731 --> 00:18:45,528 And don't add fucking ice. Ever. 446 00:18:45,530 --> 00:18:47,396 We don't like ice anymore? 447 00:18:47,398 --> 00:18:48,794 That shit ruins everything. 448 00:18:48,796 --> 00:18:50,495 Tough day at work? 449 00:18:50,497 --> 00:18:52,328 I just need to hit the reset button sometimes. 450 00:18:52,330 --> 00:18:53,996 Oh, cheers! 451 00:18:53,998 --> 00:18:55,566 Cheers. 452 00:19:04,830 --> 00:19:06,364 Can you make me one of those? 453 00:19:08,031 --> 00:19:09,729 STEPHANIE: Do I look reset? 454 00:19:09,731 --> 00:19:11,299 Because I feel reset. 455 00:19:12,597 --> 00:19:14,594 (EMILY CHUCKLES) You smell good. 456 00:19:14,596 --> 00:19:16,594 What is that perfume? You smell so good. 457 00:19:16,596 --> 00:19:18,396 I wish I smelled like you. Thank you. 458 00:19:18,398 --> 00:19:20,694 It's one of Dennis'. I could get you one. 459 00:19:20,696 --> 00:19:21,929 I could get you a bathtub full 460 00:19:21,931 --> 00:19:22,996 if you'd like. 461 00:19:22,998 --> 00:19:27,829 (STAMMERS) I would love it, girlfriend. 462 00:19:27,831 --> 00:19:28,995 Thank you. (SNIFFS) 463 00:19:28,997 --> 00:19:32,729 I'm really unhappy with myself for taking that picture... 464 00:19:32,731 --> 00:19:34,263 Oh, my God, are you still talking about that? 465 00:19:34,265 --> 00:19:35,528 ...without asking, it's so rude. 466 00:19:35,530 --> 00:19:37,396 Please, stop. Forget it. Just, like, "Paparazzo." 467 00:19:37,398 --> 00:19:38,429 You are so nice. 468 00:19:38,431 --> 00:19:39,929 I have no idea how you've survived this long. 469 00:19:39,931 --> 00:19:42,296 I'm not as nice as you think so. 470 00:19:42,298 --> 00:19:43,629 Are you baiting me? 471 00:19:43,631 --> 00:19:45,698 No. I'm just saying. 472 00:19:47,696 --> 00:19:50,363 Everybody has a dark side. Mmm-hmm. 473 00:19:50,365 --> 00:19:52,594 Some of us are better at hiding it than others. 474 00:19:52,596 --> 00:19:54,362 Wanna trade confessions? 475 00:19:54,364 --> 00:19:55,962 No, no. No. (CHUCKLES) Come on. 476 00:19:55,964 --> 00:19:58,529 What's the wildest thing you've ever done? 477 00:19:58,531 --> 00:20:00,398 Oh, no, I don't know, I shouldn't. 478 00:20:00,896 --> 00:20:02,296 You go first. 479 00:20:02,298 --> 00:20:03,565 Okay, um... 480 00:20:04,964 --> 00:20:07,495 Few months ago, Sean and I had his TA over 481 00:20:07,497 --> 00:20:10,299 for dinner, and drinks, and a threesome. 482 00:20:12,498 --> 00:20:14,396 Was Sean jealous of him? 483 00:20:14,398 --> 00:20:15,598 Did I say it was a him? 484 00:20:18,597 --> 00:20:21,828 That's very cool, sis. Very cool. 485 00:20:21,830 --> 00:20:23,295 You okay? Yeah! 486 00:20:23,297 --> 00:20:24,661 I don't mean to freak you out. 487 00:20:24,663 --> 00:20:27,396 Hello! I'm not freaked out, maybe you're freaked out. 488 00:20:27,398 --> 00:20:28,561 Okay. Because I'm not freaked out. 489 00:20:28,563 --> 00:20:30,629 I'm cool. I'm laissez-faire. 490 00:20:30,631 --> 00:20:32,728 Okay, laissez-faire. (LAUGHS) 491 00:20:32,730 --> 00:20:33,861 I mean, you're not exactly a sexual maverick. 492 00:20:33,863 --> 00:20:34,995 And that's fine. 493 00:20:34,997 --> 00:20:36,665 You know, prudes are people, too. 494 00:20:38,563 --> 00:20:39,964 I wanna know your secret. Tell me. 495 00:20:42,465 --> 00:20:44,399 My dad died when I was a senior in high school. 496 00:20:45,597 --> 00:20:47,595 And 497 00:20:47,597 --> 00:20:48,964 this boy showed up to the funeral. 498 00:20:51,331 --> 00:20:53,494 His name was Chris. 499 00:20:53,496 --> 00:20:56,262 And I guess he was the spitting image 500 00:20:56,264 --> 00:20:57,897 of my father, 30 years younger. 501 00:21:00,431 --> 00:21:04,731 My mom thought she saw a ghost. 502 00:21:05,563 --> 00:21:06,897 (STEPHANIE SNIFFS) 503 00:21:09,631 --> 00:21:11,464 And it turned out he was my half-brother. 504 00:21:13,764 --> 00:21:16,795 That's your whole secret? That your dad had an affair? 505 00:21:16,797 --> 00:21:18,461 No! 506 00:21:18,463 --> 00:21:20,527 Okay, can you just tell me your secret? 507 00:21:20,529 --> 00:21:22,664 Come on, spill it, dark side. 508 00:21:23,364 --> 00:21:25,761 So, Chris... 509 00:21:25,763 --> 00:21:28,661 It was too late for him to drive home, so he stayed over. 510 00:21:28,663 --> 00:21:30,231 We stayed up all night, talking, 511 00:21:30,631 --> 00:21:31,765 and 512 00:21:32,764 --> 00:21:34,363 my dad was... 513 00:21:34,365 --> 00:21:36,761 My dad was really the person who understood me. 514 00:21:36,763 --> 00:21:38,530 And he was gone, so... 515 00:21:39,596 --> 00:21:43,694 I was alone, alone for the first time. 516 00:21:43,696 --> 00:21:47,363 But he sees me, you know? 517 00:21:47,365 --> 00:21:48,698 Like, he really sees me. 518 00:21:50,631 --> 00:21:52,564 And we just stared at each other for the longest time. 519 00:21:54,330 --> 00:21:55,495 You can't be too drunk in my house 520 00:21:55,497 --> 00:21:56,694 not to finish the story. What happened? 521 00:21:56,696 --> 00:21:58,395 Uh, yeah. Uh... (SIGHS) 522 00:21:58,397 --> 00:22:00,462 Okay, so, I don't know, 523 00:22:00,464 --> 00:22:02,729 maybe it's not so racy where you're from, but... 524 00:22:02,731 --> 00:22:04,828 Stop avoiding. Tell me what happened. 525 00:22:04,830 --> 00:22:05,961 STEPHANIE: We stood there 526 00:22:05,963 --> 00:22:07,395 for the longest time. EMILY: Uh-huh. 527 00:22:07,397 --> 00:22:09,396 STEPHANIE: So I went in to hug him, 528 00:22:09,398 --> 00:22:10,731 and we kissed. 529 00:22:11,530 --> 00:22:12,965 I know, it's so gross. 530 00:22:13,731 --> 00:22:14,929 The end? Yeah. 531 00:22:14,931 --> 00:22:16,394 You just kissed? Yeah, we kissed. 532 00:22:16,396 --> 00:22:18,629 You just kissed your brother? 533 00:22:18,631 --> 00:22:20,928 STEPHANIE: Yeah. It's so... EMILY: What? 534 00:22:20,930 --> 00:22:22,329 STEPHANIE: Ugh. It's so lurid. 535 00:22:22,331 --> 00:22:24,328 It's my half-brother. It's not my brother. 536 00:22:24,330 --> 00:22:25,527 EMILY: He's your half-brother, though? 537 00:22:25,529 --> 00:22:26,762 Okay. STEPHANIE: He's my... 538 00:22:26,764 --> 00:22:27,795 EMILY: Yeah, there's more. 539 00:22:27,797 --> 00:22:29,295 Mmm-hmm. No. No, there's not more. 540 00:22:29,297 --> 00:22:30,861 No, no. Yeah, there is. 541 00:22:30,863 --> 00:22:32,929 So... You fucked him. 542 00:22:32,931 --> 00:22:34,328 What? 543 00:22:34,330 --> 00:22:35,694 EMILY: Was he good? 544 00:22:35,696 --> 00:22:37,894 STEPHANIE: That is so disgusting. 545 00:22:37,896 --> 00:22:39,895 I don't know... 546 00:22:39,897 --> 00:22:41,995 EMILY: You didn't fuck him? Tell me you didn't fuck him. 547 00:22:41,997 --> 00:22:43,528 STEPHANIE: I don't know what's going on in your... 548 00:22:43,530 --> 00:22:44,629 EMILY: Swear. STEPHANIE: I swear. 549 00:22:44,631 --> 00:22:46,431 Swear on your dad's grave. 550 00:22:48,363 --> 00:22:49,597 (STAMMERING) 551 00:23:03,497 --> 00:23:05,531 Oh, my God. 552 00:23:08,397 --> 00:23:09,330 Don't. 553 00:23:09,332 --> 00:23:12,428 You brotherfucker! (LAUGHS) No. Don't. 554 00:23:12,430 --> 00:23:13,862 This is good. 555 00:23:13,864 --> 00:23:16,395 Oh, my God! 556 00:23:16,397 --> 00:23:18,263 I've got a brotherfucker taking care of my kid. 557 00:23:18,265 --> 00:23:19,528 I shouldn't have even said anything. 558 00:23:19,530 --> 00:23:21,561 Brotherfucker. 559 00:23:21,563 --> 00:23:24,394 You know what? I don't know. It's these stupid martinis. 560 00:23:24,396 --> 00:23:25,928 Hey, brotherfucker, do you wanna stay for dinner? 561 00:23:25,930 --> 00:23:27,263 I shouldn't have even said anything. 562 00:23:27,265 --> 00:23:29,328 Yeah, I do wanna stay for dinner. 563 00:23:29,330 --> 00:23:30,427 That would be lovely. 564 00:23:30,429 --> 00:23:31,694 I can't wait to see what you cook. 565 00:23:31,696 --> 00:23:33,362 You know what? 566 00:23:33,364 --> 00:23:35,861 I'm gonna cook you the best meal of your life, 567 00:23:35,863 --> 00:23:37,427 and you're gonna feel really bad 568 00:23:37,429 --> 00:23:38,895 about being so mean right now. 569 00:23:38,897 --> 00:23:40,461 Brotherfucker! Ow! 570 00:23:40,463 --> 00:23:41,929 I like you! 571 00:23:41,931 --> 00:23:43,862 Hi, moms, Stephanie here. 572 00:23:43,864 --> 00:23:45,728 Today we'll be talking about the perfect first aid kit... 573 00:23:45,730 --> 00:23:48,029 so you're never left in need during a crisis. 574 00:23:48,031 --> 00:23:49,798 (CELL PHONE RINGING) 575 00:23:51,830 --> 00:23:52,929 Hi! 576 00:23:52,931 --> 00:23:53,996 EMILY: Stephanie. Thank God you picked up. 577 00:23:53,998 --> 00:23:55,895 Hey, I just have a little emergency. 578 00:23:55,897 --> 00:23:57,895 Oh, really? That's a coincidence. I was just... 579 00:23:57,897 --> 00:23:59,595 I need your help. 580 00:23:59,597 --> 00:24:00,795 Are you okay? 581 00:24:00,797 --> 00:24:03,794 I'm fine, but I do need just a simple favor. 582 00:24:03,796 --> 00:24:05,262 Can you grab Nicky from school? 583 00:24:05,264 --> 00:24:07,462 Sean's in London, his mother broke her fucking hip, 584 00:24:07,464 --> 00:24:08,895 and I got a big fire to put out at work. 585 00:24:08,897 --> 00:24:10,362 Oh, yeah. Oh, my God! 586 00:24:10,364 --> 00:24:12,331 Poor Sean, poor you. Um... 587 00:24:13,363 --> 00:24:14,861 Anything I can do to help. Yeah. 588 00:24:14,863 --> 00:24:16,427 You're the best. Hey, I gotta run, 589 00:24:16,429 --> 00:24:18,262 but I'll get you back for this, okay? 590 00:24:18,264 --> 00:24:20,327 Of course, Nicky's in good hands. 591 00:24:20,329 --> 00:24:22,762 Hey, Stephanie, you're a good person. 592 00:24:22,764 --> 00:24:23,896 True friend. I mean that. 593 00:24:23,898 --> 00:24:26,932 Don't worry about it. I will talk to you later. Bye. 594 00:24:30,396 --> 00:24:32,394 (SCHOOL BELL RINGING) (CHILDREN LAUGHING) 595 00:24:32,396 --> 00:24:34,028 (GASPS) Freeze! Do you know what I see? 596 00:24:34,030 --> 00:24:35,829 I see two boys getting a play date! 597 00:24:35,831 --> 00:24:38,561 BOTH: Yeah! 598 00:24:38,563 --> 00:24:40,761 Stephanie, that's so great you took the nanny job. 599 00:24:40,763 --> 00:24:42,361 Nanny job? Yeah, for Emily. 600 00:24:42,363 --> 00:24:43,631 I know she was looking for one. 601 00:24:46,263 --> 00:24:48,029 Well, that... (CHUCKLES AWKWARDLY) 602 00:24:48,031 --> 00:24:50,929 We're just friends. I'm helping her as a friend. 603 00:24:50,931 --> 00:24:53,427 Oh, God, I'm so sorry. 604 00:24:53,429 --> 00:24:55,427 I didn't realize you guys were so close. 605 00:24:55,429 --> 00:24:57,461 Well, we are! (LAUGHS) 606 00:24:57,463 --> 00:25:00,562 We drink martinis together. Strong ones from London. 607 00:25:00,564 --> 00:25:01,894 Okay, boys, if you don't wrestle in the car, 608 00:25:01,896 --> 00:25:03,294 I'm gonna make you fruit pops! 609 00:25:03,296 --> 00:25:05,797 Let's go, let's go! BOTH: Yay! 610 00:25:07,696 --> 00:25:10,461 She doesn't know she's working for free. 611 00:25:10,463 --> 00:25:12,931 (UPBEAT MUSIC PLAYING) (ALL SINGING ALONG) 612 00:25:15,664 --> 00:25:17,029 ALL: Whoo! 613 00:25:17,031 --> 00:25:19,230 (TV PLAYING) (CHILDREN LAUGHING) 614 00:25:28,497 --> 00:25:29,862 This is Emily Nelson, 615 00:25:29,864 --> 00:25:32,294 Director of Public Relations for Dennis Nylon Holdings. 616 00:25:32,296 --> 00:25:33,762 Leave a message or go fuck yourself. 617 00:25:33,764 --> 00:25:37,394 Hey, uh, Em, it's Stephanie. Um... 618 00:25:37,396 --> 00:25:39,862 I know you're probably knee-deep in that crisis. 619 00:25:39,864 --> 00:25:41,794 But Nicky's asking when you're coming to get him, 620 00:25:41,796 --> 00:25:43,928 and I don't know what to say, so... 621 00:25:43,930 --> 00:25:45,427 Just let me know. 622 00:25:45,429 --> 00:25:48,562 And I hope you're hanging in there. Give 'em heck. 623 00:25:48,564 --> 00:25:51,328 Stephanie Smothers. I'm a close friend of hers, 624 00:25:51,330 --> 00:25:52,595 I'm watching her son. 625 00:25:52,597 --> 00:25:54,528 Can you just tell me where she is 626 00:25:54,530 --> 00:25:55,862 and when she might be back? 627 00:25:55,864 --> 00:25:58,762 Yeah, she's in Miami for a few days. 628 00:25:58,764 --> 00:26:00,427 Did you wanna leave a message? 629 00:26:00,429 --> 00:26:02,328 I'm sorry, did you say a few days? 630 00:26:02,330 --> 00:26:03,761 Yeah, can you hold for a second, please? 631 00:26:03,763 --> 00:26:05,828 She didn't say that it was gonna be a few... 632 00:26:05,830 --> 00:26:07,562 (CELL PHONE BEEPS) Oh, for the love of Joe. 633 00:26:07,564 --> 00:26:08,629 Oh! 634 00:26:08,631 --> 00:26:11,262 (LINE RINGING) SEAN: Yes? 635 00:26:11,264 --> 00:26:13,895 Sean, hi! Um, it's Stephanie. I'm so sorry to bother you. 636 00:26:13,897 --> 00:26:15,362 I got your number from the school directory. 637 00:26:15,364 --> 00:26:16,562 Has something happened to Nicky? 638 00:26:16,564 --> 00:26:19,294 (STAMMERS) No! Uh, Nicky's fine. 639 00:26:19,296 --> 00:26:21,395 Yeah, sorry, he's fine. He's here with me. 640 00:26:21,397 --> 00:26:24,565 Um, Emily, though, asked me to watch him, 641 00:26:26,364 --> 00:26:28,895 and that was two days ago, and I haven't heard from her. 642 00:26:28,897 --> 00:26:30,262 Have you guys been in touch? 643 00:26:30,264 --> 00:26:31,561 Christ, two days? 644 00:26:31,563 --> 00:26:32,596 What'd she tell you? 645 00:26:32,598 --> 00:26:34,894 Um, she said she had to put out a big fire. 646 00:26:34,896 --> 00:26:35,761 And I called her office, 647 00:26:35,763 --> 00:26:37,394 and then they said she was in Miami? 648 00:26:37,396 --> 00:26:38,962 Yeah, that sounds about right. 649 00:26:38,964 --> 00:26:40,462 I mean, I've played through 650 00:26:40,464 --> 00:26:41,928 some of these emergencies before, 651 00:26:41,930 --> 00:26:44,327 and once she knows that Nicky's being taken care of, 652 00:26:44,329 --> 00:26:46,527 she disappears for quite some time. 653 00:26:46,529 --> 00:26:48,762 Oh, fun! Um... 654 00:26:48,764 --> 00:26:49,829 I'm flying back tomorrow. 655 00:26:49,831 --> 00:26:52,261 I'll pick up Nicky as soon as I'm on the ground. 656 00:26:52,263 --> 00:26:53,327 All righty? 657 00:26:53,329 --> 00:26:54,664 All righty. 658 00:26:59,496 --> 00:27:00,729 SEAN: Ah. 659 00:27:00,731 --> 00:27:02,662 Miss Canterbury Tales. 660 00:27:02,664 --> 00:27:04,495 Um, her assistant, Valerie, said that 661 00:27:04,497 --> 00:27:05,762 she couldn't get in touch with her, either. 662 00:27:05,764 --> 00:27:09,628 Which is weird, because it's a work thing, an emergency. 663 00:27:09,630 --> 00:27:11,962 Some of the moms think we should go to the police. 664 00:27:11,964 --> 00:27:13,028 Jesus. 665 00:27:13,030 --> 00:27:14,862 Has it really come to this? 666 00:27:14,864 --> 00:27:16,594 Do you want tea? 667 00:27:16,596 --> 00:27:18,861 You know what? Let's do it. 668 00:27:18,863 --> 00:27:21,561 Not the tea. The police. 669 00:27:21,563 --> 00:27:23,327 STEPHANIE: Sean? SEAN: Yeah. 670 00:27:23,329 --> 00:27:24,728 The police are here. 671 00:27:24,730 --> 00:27:25,765 Okay. 672 00:27:32,463 --> 00:27:34,362 OFFICER BLANCO: And when was the last time 673 00:27:34,364 --> 00:27:36,527 either of you heard from her? 674 00:27:36,529 --> 00:27:38,494 STEPHANIE: Three days ago. 675 00:27:38,496 --> 00:27:40,694 I was in London. My mother broke her hip. 676 00:27:40,696 --> 00:27:42,828 Oh, I'm sorry to hear that. Thank you. 677 00:27:42,830 --> 00:27:44,428 Well, she said it was a work crisis? 678 00:27:44,430 --> 00:27:46,562 Yeah. She has a very high-profile job 679 00:27:46,564 --> 00:27:48,962 and a full staff that she oversees. 680 00:27:48,964 --> 00:27:50,561 Most times when a woman vanishes, 681 00:27:50,563 --> 00:27:51,961 she has a reason. 682 00:27:51,963 --> 00:27:53,661 What are you implying, exactly? 683 00:27:53,663 --> 00:27:55,562 You two didn't have a fight? 684 00:27:55,564 --> 00:27:56,995 Something to make you run off to London? 685 00:27:56,997 --> 00:27:58,628 Are you saying that I broke my mother's hip? 686 00:27:58,630 --> 00:28:00,630 You leave town, your wife takes off. 687 00:28:01,329 --> 00:28:03,461 Maybe there's, um, 688 00:28:03,463 --> 00:28:05,962 a close friend she might be spending some time with. 689 00:28:05,964 --> 00:28:07,895 Excuse me, that's very rude. 690 00:28:07,897 --> 00:28:09,929 He is a dedicated husband and father. 691 00:28:09,931 --> 00:28:11,795 I have seen him with his wife, let me tell you, 692 00:28:11,797 --> 00:28:14,028 they've got more chemistry than a science fair. 693 00:28:14,030 --> 00:28:15,161 Just exploring all avenues, ma'am. 694 00:28:15,163 --> 00:28:17,764 Well, that avenue is a dead end, so you can drop it. 695 00:28:18,664 --> 00:28:20,828 And where's Emily's family? 696 00:28:20,830 --> 00:28:22,461 She doesn't have any. 697 00:28:22,463 --> 00:28:23,562 She was an only child, 698 00:28:23,564 --> 00:28:26,398 and her mother and father died when she was a teenager. 699 00:28:27,429 --> 00:28:28,996 I'm sorry, I didn't know that. 700 00:28:28,998 --> 00:28:30,527 OFFICER: We'll file a missing person's report 701 00:28:30,529 --> 00:28:33,294 and contact you in the next couple of days. 702 00:28:33,296 --> 00:28:34,695 If she doesn't turn up, 703 00:28:34,697 --> 00:28:36,995 we'll contact the local authorities in Miami. 704 00:28:36,997 --> 00:28:39,428 Not planning any more trips, are you, Mr. Townsend? 705 00:28:39,430 --> 00:28:40,495 SEAN: No. 706 00:28:40,497 --> 00:28:42,527 I'm gonna be right here. 707 00:28:42,529 --> 00:28:44,864 I'm gonna be at my house with my son. 708 00:28:45,664 --> 00:28:47,498 We can show ourselves out. 709 00:28:49,497 --> 00:28:52,294 SEAN: God knows we've had our troubles in the past, 710 00:28:52,296 --> 00:28:55,262 but I don't think she'd just up and leave her child. 711 00:28:55,264 --> 00:28:58,495 No, God, she adores Nicky. She wouldn't do that. 712 00:28:58,497 --> 00:29:00,461 She is an enigma, my wife. 713 00:29:00,463 --> 00:29:01,929 That's what drew me to her. 714 00:29:01,931 --> 00:29:03,494 It can also make her impossible. 715 00:29:03,496 --> 00:29:05,427 She can be so fiercely private. 716 00:29:05,429 --> 00:29:06,395 She sure doesn't like 717 00:29:06,397 --> 00:29:07,528 having her picture taken, I'll tell you that. 718 00:29:07,530 --> 00:29:09,761 I remember this one time, she shut down my Facebook 719 00:29:09,763 --> 00:29:11,928 because I posted up a family picture. 720 00:29:11,930 --> 00:29:13,928 Ugh. Social media is so tricky. 721 00:29:13,930 --> 00:29:15,261 I can get to close to her, 722 00:29:15,263 --> 00:29:16,895 I can never quite reach her. 723 00:29:16,897 --> 00:29:19,629 She's like a beautiful ghost. 724 00:29:19,631 --> 00:29:21,461 Never entirely there. 725 00:29:21,463 --> 00:29:22,895 That's so poetic. 726 00:29:22,897 --> 00:29:24,928 That's why you're such a good writer. 727 00:29:24,930 --> 00:29:27,528 I'm not a writer anymore, Stephanie. 728 00:29:27,530 --> 00:29:29,428 I gave all that up just to chase this woman 729 00:29:29,430 --> 00:29:30,431 for the rest of my life. 730 00:29:31,264 --> 00:29:32,629 (SEAN SCOFFS) 731 00:29:32,631 --> 00:29:34,694 I should order a taxi and go home. 732 00:29:34,696 --> 00:29:36,362 Yeah. 733 00:29:36,364 --> 00:29:39,831 Oh, gosh, it's 1:25, they stop driving at 1:00 here. 734 00:29:41,996 --> 00:29:43,829 That couch pulls out, um, 735 00:29:43,831 --> 00:29:45,595 if you wanna stay over. 736 00:29:45,597 --> 00:29:47,428 I know Nicky would love it 737 00:29:47,430 --> 00:29:49,495 if you were here in the morning. 738 00:29:49,497 --> 00:29:50,665 That would be lovely. 739 00:29:51,897 --> 00:29:53,798 (BLENDER WHIRRING) 740 00:30:07,730 --> 00:30:09,562 SEAN: Who wants more B vitamins? 741 00:30:09,564 --> 00:30:10,728 MILES: Yeah! NICKY: I do! 742 00:30:10,730 --> 00:30:12,528 SEAN: Yeah? Are they nice? 743 00:30:12,530 --> 00:30:14,561 Yeah. Yeah? Delicious? 744 00:30:14,563 --> 00:30:16,995 Hi. SEAN: Hey. 745 00:30:16,997 --> 00:30:18,428 Uh, what on Earth are you making? 746 00:30:18,430 --> 00:30:20,695 These are hangover smoothies. 747 00:30:20,697 --> 00:30:22,462 They get it right out of you. 748 00:30:22,464 --> 00:30:24,694 And the kids love them. 749 00:30:24,696 --> 00:30:26,295 Little tip, they have a full portion 750 00:30:26,297 --> 00:30:27,428 of vegetables in them, 751 00:30:27,430 --> 00:30:28,428 and they don't even know it. 752 00:30:28,430 --> 00:30:30,462 It's so hard to get kids to eat their vegetables. 753 00:30:30,464 --> 00:30:31,464 SEAN: Right? 754 00:30:32,597 --> 00:30:34,295 Mmm. 755 00:30:34,297 --> 00:30:35,565 Wanna try some? 756 00:30:35,930 --> 00:30:37,264 Great. 757 00:30:43,297 --> 00:30:44,530 Good? 758 00:30:45,895 --> 00:30:46,893 (CHUCKLES) 759 00:30:46,895 --> 00:30:50,528 I think we should get ready for school. (GROANS) 760 00:30:50,530 --> 00:30:52,198 Oh, school, school. 761 00:30:52,930 --> 00:30:54,394 Hi, moms, Stephanie here. 762 00:30:54,396 --> 00:30:55,862 Today I'm making a new recipe 763 00:30:55,864 --> 00:30:58,027 I learned for a hangover smoothie. 764 00:30:58,029 --> 00:30:59,028 Uh, it's really nice. 765 00:30:59,030 --> 00:31:00,994 I especially want to thank everybody 766 00:31:00,996 --> 00:31:03,564 who's written in to ask about Emily. 767 00:31:04,596 --> 00:31:06,230 It's been four days now. 768 00:31:06,930 --> 00:31:08,161 So... 769 00:31:08,163 --> 00:31:11,295 The good news is that Sean is home from London, 770 00:31:11,297 --> 00:31:13,531 and he's working very closely with the police. 771 00:31:14,029 --> 00:31:17,427 Um, actually, moms, 772 00:31:17,429 --> 00:31:20,294 I know a lot of you are hung up on the idea 773 00:31:20,296 --> 00:31:22,362 that the husband is always the primary suspect. 774 00:31:22,364 --> 00:31:24,230 I know, I've seen Law & Order. 775 00:31:24,631 --> 00:31:25,893 But, um... 776 00:31:25,895 --> 00:31:28,427 First, I'm here to tell you 777 00:31:28,429 --> 00:31:31,327 Sean was in London when Emily disappeared. 778 00:31:31,329 --> 00:31:33,327 And some of you have suggested 779 00:31:33,329 --> 00:31:35,960 that he did that to set up an alibi, 780 00:31:35,962 --> 00:31:40,595 but he's an amazing husband and an amazing father, so... 781 00:31:40,597 --> 00:31:42,194 The police haven't been much help. 782 00:31:42,196 --> 00:31:44,394 But every mom knows that if you want something done right, 783 00:31:44,396 --> 00:31:46,527 you have to do it yourself. 784 00:31:46,529 --> 00:31:48,294 I will leave no stone unturned. 785 00:31:48,296 --> 00:31:49,994 I think that's what Emily would want. 786 00:31:49,996 --> 00:31:51,363 RECEPTIONIST: Dennis Nylon, please hold. 787 00:31:52,696 --> 00:31:54,463 Dennis Nylon, please hold. 788 00:31:55,596 --> 00:31:56,661 Thanks for holding. 789 00:31:56,663 --> 00:31:58,494 How may I direct your call? 790 00:31:58,496 --> 00:31:59,595 Hi, my name is Stephanie... 791 00:31:59,597 --> 00:32:01,261 Dennis Nylon, please hold. 792 00:32:01,263 --> 00:32:02,960 My friend works here. She's been missing... 793 00:32:02,962 --> 00:32:04,928 Thanks for holding. How may I direct your call? 794 00:32:04,930 --> 00:32:06,860 I tried to call her assistant. 795 00:32:06,862 --> 00:32:09,028 Dennis Nylon, please hold. Valerie. 796 00:32:09,030 --> 00:32:10,095 She wasn't super helpful. 797 00:32:10,097 --> 00:32:11,662 Thanks for holding. How may I direct your call? 798 00:32:11,664 --> 00:32:12,861 I can't tell if you're talking to me. 799 00:32:12,863 --> 00:32:14,264 You're looking right at me. 800 00:32:15,294 --> 00:32:16,361 Dennis Nylon, please hold. Okay. 801 00:32:16,363 --> 00:32:18,361 Thanks for holding. How may I direct your call? 802 00:32:18,363 --> 00:32:19,694 Her name is Emily Nelson. 803 00:32:19,696 --> 00:32:21,428 She's the head of the PR department. 804 00:32:21,430 --> 00:32:22,762 Emily's not in today. 805 00:32:22,764 --> 00:32:24,428 I know she's not in. 806 00:32:24,430 --> 00:32:26,695 Dennis Nylon, please hold. Okay. 807 00:32:26,697 --> 00:32:28,561 Just gonna... 808 00:32:28,563 --> 00:32:31,027 Sorry. No, I am not sorry. 809 00:32:31,029 --> 00:32:34,728 I need to speak to Dennis Nylon, please? 810 00:32:34,730 --> 00:32:36,395 A woman's missing, so... 811 00:32:36,397 --> 00:32:38,494 Mr. Nylon's not here right now. 812 00:32:38,496 --> 00:32:39,628 Great, I'll wait. 813 00:32:39,630 --> 00:32:40,796 Knock yourself out. 814 00:32:41,697 --> 00:32:42,830 Okay. 815 00:32:58,930 --> 00:33:01,761 RECEPTIONIST: Dennis Nylon, please hold. 816 00:33:01,763 --> 00:33:03,027 Um, Mr. Nylon? 817 00:33:03,029 --> 00:33:04,894 We don't accept unsolicited resumes. 818 00:33:04,896 --> 00:33:06,427 Cool, that's not why I'm here. 819 00:33:06,429 --> 00:33:07,528 Um, we have a problem. 820 00:33:07,530 --> 00:33:09,327 We most certainly do. 821 00:33:09,329 --> 00:33:10,661 A friend of mine works in your publicity department... 822 00:33:10,663 --> 00:33:12,230 Is that a vintage Hermes scarf? 823 00:33:12,929 --> 00:33:14,395 My Aunt Frieda gave it to me. 824 00:33:14,397 --> 00:33:15,860 Did she want you to hang yourself with it? 825 00:33:15,862 --> 00:33:17,461 Look at that knot, Jesus fucking Christ! 826 00:33:17,463 --> 00:33:19,362 I'm here about Emily Nelson. 827 00:33:19,364 --> 00:33:21,027 What about Emily? What happened? 828 00:33:21,029 --> 00:33:23,361 She asked me to pick up her son four days ago 829 00:33:23,363 --> 00:33:24,695 because she went to Miami. 830 00:33:24,697 --> 00:33:26,528 She's still not back. No texts, no calls, 831 00:33:26,530 --> 00:33:27,794 and no one in your office seems to give a crap. 832 00:33:27,796 --> 00:33:28,797 Excuse my language. 833 00:33:30,264 --> 00:33:31,894 Kiko. Hmm? 834 00:33:31,896 --> 00:33:33,595 Why did Emily go to Miami? 835 00:33:33,597 --> 00:33:34,964 I didn't know she did. 836 00:33:36,895 --> 00:33:38,893 We in this office have learned that 837 00:33:38,895 --> 00:33:40,594 when Emily elects not to tell us something, 838 00:33:40,596 --> 00:33:41,994 it's best not to ask. 839 00:33:41,996 --> 00:33:43,462 Doesn't she work for you? 840 00:33:43,464 --> 00:33:45,760 Emily's job is to stop the apocalypse 841 00:33:45,762 --> 00:33:47,629 without worrying any of the designers. 842 00:33:47,631 --> 00:33:48,960 And she always finds a way 843 00:33:48,962 --> 00:33:50,495 to look fabulous when she does it. 844 00:33:50,497 --> 00:33:51,793 That's great! 845 00:33:51,795 --> 00:33:54,028 What do you suggest that I do? 846 00:33:54,030 --> 00:33:56,461 Never wear a vintage Hermes scarf with a Gap T-shirt. 847 00:33:56,463 --> 00:33:58,629 If you were truly Emily's friend, you would know that. 848 00:33:58,631 --> 00:34:00,697 Excuse me, I have a very busy day. 849 00:34:02,830 --> 00:34:04,328 Valerie, my office. 850 00:34:04,330 --> 00:34:05,330 Now! 851 00:34:20,464 --> 00:34:22,427 Hi. 852 00:34:22,429 --> 00:34:24,464 DENNIS: Sit, sit, sit! Emily! I want answers. 853 00:34:25,497 --> 00:34:27,830 MAN: Steven, you forgot the shirts. 854 00:34:38,530 --> 00:34:40,893 WOMAN: No, I can't help you with that. 855 00:34:40,895 --> 00:34:42,327 Of course he's freaking out. 856 00:34:42,329 --> 00:34:44,728 He needs someone to manage this now. 857 00:34:44,730 --> 00:34:45,897 I don't know. 858 00:34:57,364 --> 00:34:58,565 Mother fudger. 859 00:35:16,830 --> 00:35:18,897 (INDISTINCT CONVERSATIONS) 860 00:35:29,962 --> 00:35:31,394 Well, if it isn't Aunt Frieda's 861 00:35:31,396 --> 00:35:32,527 least favorite niece. 862 00:35:32,529 --> 00:35:33,860 What were you doing up there? 863 00:35:33,862 --> 00:35:35,328 Corporate spying? 864 00:35:35,330 --> 00:35:36,764 Or just a common garden shoplifter? 865 00:35:37,997 --> 00:35:39,861 Yeah, you gotta go right at them. 866 00:35:39,863 --> 00:35:41,295 Especially the powerful ones. 867 00:35:41,297 --> 00:35:42,896 Or they will fuck you in the face. 868 00:35:43,997 --> 00:35:45,528 Listen, you bargain basement Tom Ford, 869 00:35:45,530 --> 00:35:46,760 if you don't have this Ken doll 870 00:35:46,762 --> 00:35:47,828 unhand me this second, 871 00:35:47,830 --> 00:35:49,793 I will tell the thousands of moms that watch my vlog 872 00:35:49,795 --> 00:35:52,028 that Dennis Nylon is a bully who victimizes women. 873 00:35:52,030 --> 00:35:53,760 And that they should stop buying your tacky blouses 874 00:35:53,762 --> 00:35:54,995 made by Indonesian children. 875 00:35:54,997 --> 00:35:57,431 Because if you lose moms, you lose business. 876 00:36:00,430 --> 00:36:01,561 Okay, number one, 877 00:36:01,563 --> 00:36:02,894 they are not Indonesian children, 878 00:36:02,896 --> 00:36:04,593 they are Vietnamese teenagers. 879 00:36:04,595 --> 00:36:07,694 Number two, Tom Ford wishes he were me. 880 00:36:07,696 --> 00:36:10,763 And number three, if I'm tacky, 881 00:36:11,695 --> 00:36:12,763 okay? 882 00:36:13,363 --> 00:36:14,594 You're... 883 00:36:14,596 --> 00:36:15,764 This has been fun. 884 00:36:16,830 --> 00:36:18,864 Better pray I don't have a bruise. 885 00:36:20,795 --> 00:36:22,963 (ELEVATOR BELL DINGS) (DOOR CLOSES) 886 00:36:29,663 --> 00:36:31,464 No wonder she doesn't like having her picture taken. 887 00:36:37,896 --> 00:36:39,660 DARREN: Look at our little Stephanie. 888 00:36:39,662 --> 00:36:41,761 Comforting the worried husband. 889 00:36:41,763 --> 00:36:42,827 Oh, please. 890 00:36:42,829 --> 00:36:45,361 It's an arts and crafts project. 891 00:36:45,363 --> 00:36:48,027 I've never seen her pass up a chance to use a stapler. 892 00:36:48,029 --> 00:36:50,028 Emily's gonna hate those flyers 893 00:36:50,030 --> 00:36:51,760 when she gets back. 894 00:36:51,762 --> 00:36:54,230 She's not coming back. (SIGHS) 895 00:36:55,330 --> 00:36:56,728 Don't you watch Dateline? 896 00:36:56,730 --> 00:36:59,197 If the case isn't solved in the first 72 hours, 897 00:36:59,962 --> 00:37:01,863 they're always dead. 898 00:37:02,464 --> 00:37:03,594 Oh, yeah. 899 00:37:03,596 --> 00:37:05,361 (ROMANTIC FRENCH MUSIC PLAYING) 900 00:37:05,363 --> 00:37:06,526 Oh, perfect timing! 901 00:37:06,528 --> 00:37:07,594 Dinner's ready. 902 00:37:07,596 --> 00:37:08,694 The boys are upstairs. 903 00:37:08,696 --> 00:37:10,494 I'm just gonna have them wash their hands 904 00:37:10,496 --> 00:37:11,596 and come down. 905 00:37:12,363 --> 00:37:13,628 Um... 906 00:37:13,630 --> 00:37:15,295 Are you okay? (EXHALES) 907 00:37:15,297 --> 00:37:17,362 I've just never experienced anything like this. 908 00:37:17,364 --> 00:37:19,794 Walking into a fully set dinner table. 909 00:37:19,796 --> 00:37:23,262 Yeah, (CHUCKLES NERVOUSLY) this is weird. 910 00:37:23,264 --> 00:37:25,461 I'm being... No, no, no! Not at all. 911 00:37:25,463 --> 00:37:27,261 I think anything stable these days 912 00:37:27,263 --> 00:37:28,893 is like a gift from heaven, right? 913 00:37:28,895 --> 00:37:30,527 I should tidy up first, though. 914 00:37:30,529 --> 00:37:33,231 (DOORBELL RINGS) (SIGHS) 915 00:37:34,962 --> 00:37:36,261 SUMMERVILLE: Hey. SEAN: Hello. 916 00:37:36,263 --> 00:37:37,262 SUMMERVILLE: Mr. Townsend? Ah, yes. 917 00:37:37,264 --> 00:37:38,693 Detective Summerville. We spoke on the phone. 918 00:37:38,695 --> 00:37:40,027 SEAN: That's right. Um... 919 00:37:40,029 --> 00:37:42,261 Stephanie, can you help the boys with their homework? 920 00:37:42,263 --> 00:37:43,927 Of course. 921 00:37:43,929 --> 00:37:45,793 Come in. Sorry. Thank you. 922 00:37:45,795 --> 00:37:49,230 Just a pre-dinner snack. 923 00:37:50,629 --> 00:37:51,562 That's a cute nanny. 924 00:37:51,564 --> 00:37:54,561 No, no. That's one of my wife's friends. 925 00:37:54,563 --> 00:37:55,931 She's been helping me out. 926 00:37:57,495 --> 00:37:59,893 Oh, shit. Can she come help out around my house, too? 927 00:37:59,895 --> 00:38:01,197 (BOTH CHUCKLE) 928 00:38:03,329 --> 00:38:04,627 SUMMERVILLE: The passenger manifest says 929 00:38:04,629 --> 00:38:06,627 she wasn't on any flights to Miami. 930 00:38:06,629 --> 00:38:08,928 But she did rent a white Kia from Budget. 931 00:38:08,930 --> 00:38:10,694 She paid in cash for a two-day rental. 932 00:38:10,696 --> 00:38:12,661 Now, when people pay in cash, 933 00:38:12,663 --> 00:38:14,394 it usually means one thing. 934 00:38:14,396 --> 00:38:16,494 What are you saying? She's having an affair? 935 00:38:16,496 --> 00:38:17,928 I can't say that with any confidence. 936 00:38:17,930 --> 00:38:19,661 SEAN: Can you not track the Kia? 937 00:38:19,663 --> 00:38:21,327 SUMMERVILLE: I have toll booth reports coming in 938 00:38:21,329 --> 00:38:22,526 from across the country, 939 00:38:22,528 --> 00:38:24,395 assuming she's not swapping out plates. 940 00:38:24,397 --> 00:38:25,894 I wanna get a description of your wife to 941 00:38:25,896 --> 00:38:28,893 every precinct in the tri-state area, okay? 942 00:38:28,895 --> 00:38:30,960 Did she have any distinguishing features? 943 00:38:30,962 --> 00:38:33,262 Any birthmarks, tattoos? 944 00:38:33,264 --> 00:38:34,427 She's got a tattoo on her left wrist. 945 00:38:34,429 --> 00:38:35,493 Oh, great. 946 00:38:35,495 --> 00:38:38,494 It's flames and a charity symbol in the middle. 947 00:38:38,496 --> 00:38:40,461 (CHUCKLES) Really? 948 00:38:40,463 --> 00:38:41,594 More judgment from you? 949 00:38:41,596 --> 00:38:42,761 Nope. No, no, no. 950 00:38:42,763 --> 00:38:44,027 But she did things like that. 951 00:38:44,029 --> 00:38:46,327 Impulsive, crazy things. 952 00:38:46,329 --> 00:38:47,894 SUMMERVILLE: I'm gonna go call this in. 953 00:38:47,896 --> 00:38:49,430 Tell your wife's friend I said goodbye. 954 00:38:52,496 --> 00:38:53,560 SEAN: You're a saint. 955 00:38:53,562 --> 00:38:54,994 You don't have to do that. 956 00:38:54,996 --> 00:38:57,460 I'm not a saint. I just like to keep my hands busy. 957 00:38:57,462 --> 00:38:59,427 Um... I should go. 958 00:38:59,429 --> 00:39:01,028 It's Flags of the World day on Monday. 959 00:39:01,030 --> 00:39:02,730 I haven't even started on South America. 960 00:39:05,730 --> 00:39:07,494 Sorry. 961 00:39:07,496 --> 00:39:10,361 No, I don't mean sorry. I mean thank you. 962 00:39:10,363 --> 00:39:12,261 Thank you for being such a good friend. 963 00:39:12,263 --> 00:39:13,295 Of course. 964 00:39:13,297 --> 00:39:15,761 I'm a problem-solver, I just wish I could do more. 965 00:39:15,763 --> 00:39:17,198 You're doing plenty. 966 00:39:25,662 --> 00:39:27,328 So, that's where we are today. 967 00:39:27,330 --> 00:39:28,594 And we are keeping our heads up 968 00:39:28,596 --> 00:39:30,327 and not jumping to any conclusions. 969 00:39:30,329 --> 00:39:31,694 We are soldiering on 970 00:39:31,696 --> 00:39:33,828 with cookies and origami. 971 00:39:33,830 --> 00:39:36,394 But for you moms who want to help, 972 00:39:36,396 --> 00:39:38,560 we know that Emily was driving a white Kia 973 00:39:38,562 --> 00:39:40,394 that she rented from a Budget 974 00:39:40,396 --> 00:39:42,995 at La Guardia Airport on the 24th. 975 00:39:42,997 --> 00:39:44,460 And I did a little digging, 976 00:39:44,462 --> 00:39:46,663 so, um, the license plate is... 977 00:39:47,495 --> 00:39:48,864 (MESSAGE NOTIFICATION CHIMES) 978 00:39:53,264 --> 00:39:54,328 VIEWER: Dear Stephanie, 979 00:39:54,330 --> 00:39:55,262 I'm writing from Standish, Michigan, 980 00:39:55,264 --> 00:39:56,295 with a possible Emily sighting. 981 00:39:56,297 --> 00:39:59,261 I was driving down I-75 two days ago, 982 00:39:59,263 --> 00:40:01,527 when I saw a woman gassing up a white Kia. 983 00:40:01,529 --> 00:40:02,660 She was really pretty, 984 00:40:02,662 --> 00:40:03,994 and I remember thinking she didn't look like 985 00:40:03,996 --> 00:40:05,394 she was from around here. 986 00:40:05,396 --> 00:40:06,429 I hope this helps. 987 00:40:07,963 --> 00:40:10,261 STEPHANIE: So, um, Summerville sent the info 988 00:40:10,263 --> 00:40:11,660 to the local authorities in Michigan. 989 00:40:11,662 --> 00:40:14,427 Did she ever mention Michigan? Did she have a friend there? 990 00:40:14,429 --> 00:40:17,427 As far as I knew, she didn't have any real friends. 991 00:40:17,429 --> 00:40:18,794 Not before you. Oh. 992 00:40:18,796 --> 00:40:19,960 How is that possible? 993 00:40:19,962 --> 00:40:21,297 (RINGING) 994 00:40:24,462 --> 00:40:26,330 Hello. Please tell me you found her. 995 00:40:26,962 --> 00:40:28,197 A lake? 996 00:40:29,463 --> 00:40:30,931 (STAMMERS) Well, I don't know. 997 00:40:32,496 --> 00:40:34,327 Okay, I'm heading there now. 998 00:40:34,329 --> 00:40:36,593 They found the rental car in Michigan. 999 00:40:36,595 --> 00:40:37,460 Look, I'm gonna have to go 1000 00:40:37,462 --> 00:40:39,561 because otherwise I'm going to go crazy. 1001 00:40:39,563 --> 00:40:41,297 Can you do me a favor? Yes, it's done. Go. 1002 00:40:42,863 --> 00:40:44,828 Hi, moms. Stephanie here. 1003 00:40:44,830 --> 00:40:47,928 I can see we have a flood of new viewers today. 1004 00:40:47,930 --> 00:40:50,860 And if you're new to the vlog, I'm sorry. 1005 00:40:50,862 --> 00:40:52,994 This probably isn't the best entry to start with. 1006 00:40:52,996 --> 00:40:56,027 For those of you who have been following my vlog this week, 1007 00:40:56,029 --> 00:40:58,894 you know that my best friend, Emily, went missing. 1008 00:40:58,896 --> 00:41:02,928 So many of you wrote in with your helpful tips and ideas. 1009 00:41:02,930 --> 00:41:06,828 I wanna give a special thanks to Leanne Lippens 1010 00:41:06,830 --> 00:41:10,262 whose helpful tip made a major break in the case. 1011 00:41:11,997 --> 00:41:13,864 I have some somber news. 1012 00:41:16,495 --> 00:41:17,963 (VOICE BREAKING) Emily was found. 1013 00:41:21,496 --> 00:41:23,262 Not alive, I'm afraid. 1014 00:41:24,996 --> 00:41:27,396 My friend, Emily Nelson, 1015 00:41:28,996 --> 00:41:30,198 is dead. 1016 00:41:44,862 --> 00:41:47,261 PRIEST: Our Father, we look to you again, 1017 00:41:47,263 --> 00:41:49,460 facing this moment of our need. 1018 00:41:49,462 --> 00:41:52,727 In our sorrow, grief and loneliness 1019 00:41:52,729 --> 00:41:54,760 draw us up to yourself 1020 00:41:54,762 --> 00:41:57,827 that we may know the comfort of the everlasting arms. 1021 00:41:57,829 --> 00:41:59,793 Especially support and comfort those 1022 00:41:59,795 --> 00:42:02,960 who have been closest to our departed sister. 1023 00:42:02,962 --> 00:42:04,661 Sustain them in the blessed assurance 1024 00:42:04,663 --> 00:42:06,394 that death is conquered, 1025 00:42:06,396 --> 00:42:07,727 the new life is begun. 1026 00:42:07,729 --> 00:42:09,661 To be absent from the body 1027 00:42:09,663 --> 00:42:11,460 is to be present with the Lord. 1028 00:42:11,462 --> 00:42:13,427 May we be assured in the hope 1029 00:42:13,429 --> 00:42:14,794 that we shall walk together again 1030 00:42:14,796 --> 00:42:16,893 in your blessed presence. 1031 00:42:16,895 --> 00:42:19,260 Help us to number our days 1032 00:42:19,262 --> 00:42:21,596 that we may apply our hearts unto wisdom. 1033 00:42:22,496 --> 00:42:23,727 In the name of the Father, 1034 00:42:23,729 --> 00:42:25,363 and of the Son, and of the Holy Spirit. 1035 00:42:25,930 --> 00:42:26,931 Amen. 1036 00:42:34,463 --> 00:42:35,527 Hi. 1037 00:42:35,529 --> 00:42:36,529 Oh, hi. 1038 00:42:37,896 --> 00:42:39,628 Are those, um... 1039 00:42:39,630 --> 00:42:41,493 Oh, yeah, yeah, they are. 1040 00:42:41,495 --> 00:42:44,260 They're from your last-minute brownie entry. 1041 00:42:44,262 --> 00:42:46,593 I can't believe you watch my vlog. 1042 00:42:46,595 --> 00:42:47,960 (STAMMERS) To be honest, 1043 00:42:47,962 --> 00:42:49,393 when we first started watching it, 1044 00:42:49,395 --> 00:42:50,827 we were just making fun of you. 1045 00:42:50,829 --> 00:42:52,526 But, um... 1046 00:42:52,528 --> 00:42:54,727 But then, you had some really helpful hints in there. 1047 00:42:54,729 --> 00:42:56,728 Especially when Lulu got that rash, 1048 00:42:56,730 --> 00:42:58,694 apple cider vinegar was great. 1049 00:42:58,696 --> 00:43:00,293 Oh, well, great! That's... 1050 00:43:00,295 --> 00:43:01,296 Yeah. (CHUCKLES) 1051 00:43:03,528 --> 00:43:04,628 You're a real saint 1052 00:43:04,630 --> 00:43:05,893 to help her family out like this. 1053 00:43:05,895 --> 00:43:07,159 I'm not a saint. 1054 00:43:07,161 --> 00:43:09,860 Emily was my friend, and she'd do the same for me, so... 1055 00:43:09,862 --> 00:43:11,494 If you or Sean need me 1056 00:43:11,496 --> 00:43:14,361 to watch Miles or Nicky anytime, it's nothing. 1057 00:43:14,363 --> 00:43:16,794 That's so sweet, Sona. Thank you. 1058 00:43:16,796 --> 00:43:19,861 It's the least she could do, she didn't even bake anything. 1059 00:43:19,863 --> 00:43:21,196 Yeah, yeah. Okay. 1060 00:43:21,930 --> 00:43:23,261 MILES: Nicky, 1061 00:43:23,263 --> 00:43:24,693 you don't need to worry. 1062 00:43:24,695 --> 00:43:26,293 Your mom's in heaven now. 1063 00:43:26,295 --> 00:43:28,894 No, she's not! Shut up! (MILES GROANING) 1064 00:43:28,896 --> 00:43:30,027 She's in the ground! MILES: Ow! Stop it! 1065 00:43:30,029 --> 00:43:31,393 She's never coming back! 1066 00:43:31,395 --> 00:43:32,761 (NICKY GRUNTING) Ow! You're hurting me! 1067 00:43:32,763 --> 00:43:34,493 NICKY: I hate you! MILES: Ow! Stop it! 1068 00:43:34,495 --> 00:43:36,729 (NICKY CONTINUES GRUNTS) SEAN: Nicky, get off him! 1069 00:43:38,496 --> 00:43:39,794 Nicky, what're you doing? Get off him! 1070 00:43:39,796 --> 00:43:41,493 What the hell are you doing? (MILES CRYING) 1071 00:43:41,495 --> 00:43:42,461 Calm down, stop that. 1072 00:43:42,463 --> 00:43:44,827 She made this happen! She made my mom die! 1073 00:43:44,829 --> 00:43:46,294 That's crazy and you know that. 1074 00:43:46,296 --> 00:43:47,594 She's trying to be my new mom! 1075 00:43:47,596 --> 00:43:48,693 Sweetie, I'm not trying to be your mom. 1076 00:43:48,695 --> 00:43:49,860 I want my mom! 1077 00:43:49,862 --> 00:43:50,928 I know you do, baby. I know you do. 1078 00:43:50,930 --> 00:43:52,326 But calm down. Mom was right! 1079 00:43:52,328 --> 00:43:54,594 You are a loser! 1080 00:43:55,296 --> 00:43:56,360 Is that what she told you, 1081 00:43:56,362 --> 00:43:57,593 drunk at 2:00 in the afternoon? 1082 00:43:57,595 --> 00:43:59,727 I am trying my best! Sean! 1083 00:43:59,729 --> 00:44:01,326 He's just a little boy. Jesus! 1084 00:44:01,328 --> 00:44:02,827 Nicky, I'm sorry. (NICKY CRYING) 1085 00:44:02,829 --> 00:44:04,494 What do I do? STEPHANIE: Okay. 1086 00:44:04,496 --> 00:44:05,661 What do I do? 1087 00:44:05,663 --> 00:44:06,995 We're all gonna take a deep, centering breath now. 1088 00:44:06,997 --> 00:44:08,526 Ready? (INHALES DEEPLY) 1089 00:44:08,528 --> 00:44:09,927 We're gonna focus on one thing at a time. 1090 00:44:09,929 --> 00:44:11,927 I'm gonna stay and talk to Nicky. 1091 00:44:11,929 --> 00:44:13,526 So I need you to take Miles inside, 1092 00:44:13,528 --> 00:44:14,893 put some ice on his nose. 1093 00:44:14,895 --> 00:44:16,696 'Cause you got a good little shiner coming. 1094 00:44:17,662 --> 00:44:19,396 It's okay. Okay. 1095 00:44:19,763 --> 00:44:20,764 It's okay. 1096 00:44:23,562 --> 00:44:25,229 I don't wanna talk to you. 1097 00:44:26,396 --> 00:44:28,361 (STEPHANIE SIGHS) 1098 00:44:28,363 --> 00:44:29,460 You're not my favorite dinner date 1099 00:44:29,462 --> 00:44:31,594 right now either, buster. 1100 00:44:31,596 --> 00:44:32,794 But you should know that everything 1101 00:44:32,796 --> 00:44:34,793 you're feeling right now is normal. 1102 00:44:34,795 --> 00:44:36,994 You can act out all you want. That's fine. 1103 00:44:36,996 --> 00:44:38,793 This doesn't change what I know. 1104 00:44:38,795 --> 00:44:40,327 What do you know? 1105 00:44:40,329 --> 00:44:41,463 That you're a good kid. 1106 00:44:44,595 --> 00:44:46,262 So let's just sit here and not talk. 1107 00:44:48,263 --> 00:44:50,361 Let's just sit here 1108 00:44:50,363 --> 00:44:52,564 and feel lousy and watch the grass grow. 1109 00:45:06,629 --> 00:45:07,829 (SIGHS DEEPLY) 1110 00:45:26,662 --> 00:45:27,663 Hey. 1111 00:45:29,295 --> 00:45:32,460 Hey, come on. Don't be hard on yourself, yeah? 1112 00:45:32,462 --> 00:45:34,761 It's the kind of stuff nobody gets right. 1113 00:45:34,763 --> 00:45:36,760 You do. You always do. 1114 00:45:36,762 --> 00:45:38,529 No, no, come on. 1115 00:45:43,295 --> 00:45:45,864 (BOTH BREATHING HEAVILY) 1116 00:46:01,663 --> 00:46:03,363 Um... I don't know if... 1117 00:46:04,329 --> 00:46:05,393 Yeah. 1118 00:46:05,395 --> 00:46:06,729 Yeah, we shouldn't. Yeah. 1119 00:46:07,929 --> 00:46:09,561 Yeah. 1120 00:46:09,563 --> 00:46:11,463 (BOTH BREATHING HEAVILY) 1121 00:46:12,395 --> 00:46:13,396 Fuck. 1122 00:46:24,528 --> 00:46:25,930 (SEDUCTIVE MUSIC PLAYING) 1123 00:46:41,763 --> 00:46:43,397 (MOANING) 1124 00:47:14,762 --> 00:47:16,796 (REMOTE BEEPS) (UPBEAT FRENCH MUSIC PLAYING) 1125 00:48:38,528 --> 00:48:39,828 (DOORBELL RINGING) 1126 00:48:43,729 --> 00:48:46,326 Are you serious? 1127 00:48:46,328 --> 00:48:47,729 (DOORBELL CONTINUES RINGING) 1128 00:48:56,862 --> 00:48:59,693 Hey, Ms. Smothers! (EXCLAIMS) 1129 00:48:59,695 --> 00:49:02,229 Can I talk to you? Yeah. Um... 1130 00:49:03,595 --> 00:49:04,596 I'm gonna come right down. 1131 00:49:07,495 --> 00:49:08,663 Shit! 1132 00:49:09,961 --> 00:49:12,693 Hi! Hi! Hey! Hey! 1133 00:49:12,695 --> 00:49:15,859 Uh, I just left something here, so I was just... 1134 00:49:15,861 --> 00:49:17,260 I had a key 1135 00:49:17,262 --> 00:49:18,960 because earlier, Sean gave me a key... 1136 00:49:18,962 --> 00:49:20,527 You're not under arrest, Miss Smothers. 1137 00:49:20,529 --> 00:49:21,530 Oh! (CHUCKLING) FYI. 1138 00:49:22,462 --> 00:49:23,860 I should hope not. 1139 00:49:23,862 --> 00:49:26,427 All right. No, no. No. 1140 00:49:26,429 --> 00:49:28,463 You're very funny. Yeah. Yeah, yeah. 1141 00:49:28,730 --> 00:49:29,863 Um... 1142 00:49:30,662 --> 00:49:31,661 Sean's not here right now. 1143 00:49:31,663 --> 00:49:34,493 You know, I was actually hoping to speak to you. 1144 00:49:34,495 --> 00:49:36,493 Oh! Yeah, I went by your house. 1145 00:49:36,495 --> 00:49:37,892 Then I went by the school, 1146 00:49:37,894 --> 00:49:39,893 then one of the moms thought you might be here. 1147 00:49:39,895 --> 00:49:41,929 Did they? Okay. Well, that's... 1148 00:49:42,696 --> 00:49:43,927 Was it Stacy? 1149 00:49:43,929 --> 00:49:45,860 Can I come in? 1150 00:49:45,862 --> 00:49:47,727 Of course, I would love that! Thank you. 1151 00:49:47,729 --> 00:49:49,527 (SPEAKS FRENCH) 1152 00:49:49,529 --> 00:49:51,430 You said that Emily's your best friend. 1153 00:49:52,262 --> 00:49:54,560 Yes. Yes, we are. 1154 00:49:54,562 --> 00:49:56,727 Was she depressed? No. 1155 00:49:56,729 --> 00:49:58,361 No, she had everything. 1156 00:49:58,363 --> 00:49:59,859 She had the house and the job... 1157 00:49:59,861 --> 00:50:00,929 And the husband. 1158 00:50:01,995 --> 00:50:03,493 I was getting there, yeah. 1159 00:50:03,495 --> 00:50:05,627 The neighbors said they fought a lot. 1160 00:50:05,629 --> 00:50:08,260 Well, they had issues. Um... 1161 00:50:08,262 --> 00:50:10,360 But they loved each other intensely. 1162 00:50:10,362 --> 00:50:11,564 Oh, what issues did they have? 1163 00:50:12,262 --> 00:50:13,326 The normal issues. 1164 00:50:13,328 --> 00:50:14,227 They were stressed about money. 1165 00:50:14,229 --> 00:50:16,960 And I think Emily wanted to slow down 1166 00:50:16,962 --> 00:50:18,594 and smell the roses. 1167 00:50:18,596 --> 00:50:20,460 She slowed down all right. 1168 00:50:20,462 --> 00:50:23,362 I got the autopsy report right here. 1169 00:50:24,362 --> 00:50:25,461 Let's see here. 1170 00:50:25,463 --> 00:50:28,494 "Severe liver damage suggesting heavy alcohol use. 1171 00:50:28,496 --> 00:50:32,327 "Track marks along her arms and between her toes." 1172 00:50:32,329 --> 00:50:33,930 Were you aware of the heroin use? 1173 00:50:37,295 --> 00:50:38,762 No, that's, uh... (STAMMERING) 1174 00:50:40,663 --> 00:50:42,293 I'm sorry, I really have 1175 00:50:42,295 --> 00:50:43,893 trouble believing that. (SCOFFS) 1176 00:50:43,895 --> 00:50:46,293 She liked a very strong martini, but... 1177 00:50:46,295 --> 00:50:50,960 I don't know how she could've kept that a secret from me, 1178 00:50:50,962 --> 00:50:53,460 and especially from her husband, Sean. 1179 00:50:53,462 --> 00:50:55,461 Yeah, you seem to know Sean pretty well. 1180 00:50:55,463 --> 00:50:57,893 I... We've gotten to know each other 1181 00:50:57,895 --> 00:51:00,926 over the last few weeks, just as friends. 1182 00:51:00,928 --> 00:51:01,929 Uh-huh. 1183 00:51:03,428 --> 00:51:04,692 (CLICKS TONGUE) I'm guessing you've never dealt 1184 00:51:04,694 --> 00:51:06,362 with law enforcement before. 1185 00:51:13,794 --> 00:51:15,496 Not really, no. Mmm. 1186 00:51:16,428 --> 00:51:18,393 (SUMMERVILLE CHUCKLES) 1187 00:51:18,395 --> 00:51:19,461 That's a really nice dress. 1188 00:51:19,463 --> 00:51:21,260 Oh, thank you. 1189 00:51:21,262 --> 00:51:22,494 Doesn't seem to be your style, though. 1190 00:51:22,496 --> 00:51:25,361 Oh, I'm very versatile, Detective, 1191 00:51:25,363 --> 00:51:26,792 I think you'll find. 1192 00:51:26,794 --> 00:51:30,560 I'm really just trying to help Sean and Nicky 1193 00:51:30,562 --> 00:51:31,660 in their time of grief. 1194 00:51:31,662 --> 00:51:32,929 Oh, how is Sean's grief? 1195 00:51:34,395 --> 00:51:35,926 He's holding up very well. 1196 00:51:35,928 --> 00:51:38,360 As well as can be expected. 1197 00:51:38,362 --> 00:51:39,994 Uh-huh. (CHUCKLES) 1198 00:51:39,996 --> 00:51:41,994 Is that everything, or... 1199 00:51:41,996 --> 00:51:44,463 (CLEARS THROAT) Let me ask you something. 1200 00:51:47,562 --> 00:51:48,860 Were you aware 1201 00:51:48,862 --> 00:51:51,427 that he took out an extra $4 million 1202 00:51:51,429 --> 00:51:52,760 life insurance policy 1203 00:51:52,762 --> 00:51:54,529 on Emily before she disappeared? 1204 00:51:56,562 --> 00:51:59,695 I was not aware of that, no. 1205 00:52:00,429 --> 00:52:01,863 Why? How would I? 1206 00:52:03,795 --> 00:52:06,361 (CHUCKLES) Okay, all right. 1207 00:52:06,363 --> 00:52:08,663 (SIGHS) Yeah, I don't... 1208 00:52:09,328 --> 00:52:11,396 I'm sorry. What... 1209 00:52:13,362 --> 00:52:14,426 What are you... 1210 00:52:14,428 --> 00:52:15,759 Are you saying he had her rubbed out? 1211 00:52:15,761 --> 00:52:17,260 He hired a hitman? 1212 00:52:17,262 --> 00:52:20,460 (LAUGHING) 1213 00:52:20,462 --> 00:52:22,792 I didn't say anything about him hiring a hitman. 1214 00:52:22,794 --> 00:52:23,892 You just did. 1215 00:52:23,894 --> 00:52:25,693 Okay. 1216 00:52:25,695 --> 00:52:27,326 I can see that you're enjoying yourself, 1217 00:52:27,328 --> 00:52:28,461 Detective Summerville. 1218 00:52:28,463 --> 00:52:29,993 But if you wanna grill someone, you should 1219 00:52:29,995 --> 00:52:32,527 really speak to Emily's boss, Dennis Nylon. 1220 00:52:32,529 --> 00:52:34,326 He could not be more suspicious. 1221 00:52:34,328 --> 00:52:36,593 That's super interesting because he contacted us. 1222 00:52:36,595 --> 00:52:39,693 And he said he thought you knew more than you were letting on. 1223 00:52:39,695 --> 00:52:42,026 Well, he sucks. 1224 00:52:42,028 --> 00:52:44,526 So... (SIGHS) 1225 00:52:44,528 --> 00:52:46,826 As long as you're honest with me, Ms. Smothers, 1226 00:52:46,828 --> 00:52:47,993 I swear to you, 1227 00:52:47,995 --> 00:52:49,926 you have nothing to worry about. Okay? 1228 00:52:49,928 --> 00:52:53,692 I'm just following breadcrumbs wherever they lead. 1229 00:52:53,694 --> 00:52:55,427 Okay, you know what? I'm done for now. 1230 00:52:55,429 --> 00:52:57,461 Thanks for your time. 1231 00:52:57,463 --> 00:53:00,027 (STAMMERS) Your theory doesn't hold water, you know, 1232 00:53:00,029 --> 00:53:01,426 because it doesn't explain 1233 00:53:01,428 --> 00:53:03,727 the fake plane ticket or the rental car. 1234 00:53:03,729 --> 00:53:05,926 And why would someone shoot her full of heroin 1235 00:53:05,928 --> 00:53:07,193 at a summer camp in Michigan? 1236 00:53:07,195 --> 00:53:09,262 There's plenty of good heroin right here in Connecticut! 1237 00:53:09,729 --> 00:53:11,293 I'm told. 1238 00:53:11,295 --> 00:53:13,893 Great, good. Okay, so we have a lot to talk about. 1239 00:53:13,895 --> 00:53:15,559 All right, then. Enjoy the new house. 1240 00:53:15,561 --> 00:53:18,260 The worst breadcrumbs I've ever heard of, you know. 1241 00:53:18,262 --> 00:53:19,426 Couldn't fill a Caesar salad 1242 00:53:19,428 --> 00:53:20,729 with those breadcrumbs! (DOOR CLOSES) 1243 00:53:27,528 --> 00:53:28,862 (SIGHING IN RELIEF) 1244 00:54:13,795 --> 00:54:17,426 Why is this Caesarean salad so crunchy? 1245 00:54:17,428 --> 00:54:20,197 It's Caesar salad, baby, and it's delicious. 1246 00:54:20,694 --> 00:54:21,829 What's in it? 1247 00:54:23,328 --> 00:54:24,329 Breadcrumbs. 1248 00:54:24,594 --> 00:54:25,660 Oh. 1249 00:54:25,662 --> 00:54:26,863 How was your day at work? 1250 00:54:27,828 --> 00:54:28,894 Grim. 1251 00:54:28,896 --> 00:54:30,060 Spent most of the day explaining the difference 1252 00:54:30,062 --> 00:54:34,526 between "your" possessive and "you're" apostrophe R-E 1253 00:54:34,528 --> 00:54:37,426 to college juniors. 1254 00:54:37,428 --> 00:54:39,396 I can see how that might drive a man over the edge. 1255 00:54:40,562 --> 00:54:42,026 I know, right? 1256 00:54:42,028 --> 00:54:43,459 What about you boys? 1257 00:54:43,461 --> 00:54:45,660 What'd you guys get up to today at school? 1258 00:54:45,662 --> 00:54:46,863 I saw my mom. 1259 00:54:50,928 --> 00:54:52,526 I understand, Nicky, that sometimes 1260 00:54:52,528 --> 00:54:54,462 we think we see people that we miss 1261 00:54:55,395 --> 00:54:56,759 even if they're gone. 1262 00:54:56,761 --> 00:54:58,394 No, I saw her. 1263 00:54:58,396 --> 00:54:59,593 She was right outside the fence 1264 00:54:59,595 --> 00:55:01,428 by the kickball yard at recess. 1265 00:55:03,029 --> 00:55:05,460 Lots of people look like someone else. 1266 00:55:05,462 --> 00:55:06,729 Nobody looks like Mom! 1267 00:55:08,263 --> 00:55:09,529 She told me to say hi to Stephanie. 1268 00:55:09,929 --> 00:55:11,026 Nicky, 1269 00:55:11,028 --> 00:55:12,627 this is unhealthy. 1270 00:55:12,629 --> 00:55:14,629 Miles saw her, too. Right, Miles? 1271 00:55:15,829 --> 00:55:17,459 I think I did. 1272 00:55:17,461 --> 00:55:18,592 But I don't know. 1273 00:55:18,594 --> 00:55:19,993 I was playing tetherball. 1274 00:55:19,995 --> 00:55:21,827 Did you two hatch this up? 1275 00:55:21,829 --> 00:55:24,026 Is this a game, like when you smash everything with trucks? 1276 00:55:24,028 --> 00:55:25,627 Because you know what we say about lying. 1277 00:55:25,629 --> 00:55:28,261 I'm not lying! I saw her! Fuck you! 1278 00:55:28,263 --> 00:55:29,659 Hey, Nicky! 1279 00:55:29,661 --> 00:55:30,662 MILES: Oopsy! 1280 00:55:32,629 --> 00:55:34,263 I'm sorry. 1281 00:55:43,295 --> 00:55:45,493 Don't I get a kiss good night? 1282 00:55:45,495 --> 00:55:47,426 Of course you do, sweetie. 1283 00:55:47,428 --> 00:55:49,361 Actually, you owe the oopsy jar a quarter 1284 00:55:49,363 --> 00:55:50,796 for earlier, but I... 1285 00:55:57,595 --> 00:55:58,596 Good night, sweetie. 1286 00:56:08,029 --> 00:56:09,230 Hey. 1287 00:56:10,461 --> 00:56:12,196 We should get naked. 1288 00:56:14,428 --> 00:56:15,662 What is it? 1289 00:56:16,462 --> 00:56:17,792 What's wrong? 1290 00:56:17,794 --> 00:56:21,327 I smell her, Sean. I smell her perfume. 1291 00:56:21,329 --> 00:56:23,660 It's all over Nicky like a ghost. 1292 00:56:23,662 --> 00:56:25,026 He probably got to her perfume bottle 1293 00:56:25,028 --> 00:56:26,727 in the medicine cabinet. 1294 00:56:26,729 --> 00:56:28,560 He misses her. 1295 00:56:28,562 --> 00:56:29,860 Okay? It's just you being paranoid. 1296 00:56:29,862 --> 00:56:31,930 Is it? Because I found this, too. 1297 00:56:33,461 --> 00:56:34,893 What's this? 1298 00:56:34,895 --> 00:56:36,393 It's the friendship bracelet I made her. 1299 00:56:36,395 --> 00:56:37,963 I'm afraid to say she would not have kept this. 1300 00:56:38,761 --> 00:56:41,393 She hated stuff like this. 1301 00:56:41,395 --> 00:56:42,559 She probably gave it to him 1302 00:56:42,561 --> 00:56:43,993 right after you gave it to her. 1303 00:56:43,995 --> 00:56:45,993 Unless he's telling the truth. 1304 00:56:45,995 --> 00:56:48,428 You saw her with your own eyes. 1305 00:56:49,028 --> 00:56:50,560 In her coffin. 1306 00:56:50,562 --> 00:56:51,959 There was something off. 1307 00:56:51,961 --> 00:56:54,026 They found her at the bottom of a lake! 1308 00:56:54,028 --> 00:56:55,559 You saw her tattoo, 1309 00:56:55,561 --> 00:56:57,762 and you saw that ring that she stole from my mother. 1310 00:56:59,562 --> 00:57:01,960 She said your mother wanted her to have that ring. 1311 00:57:01,962 --> 00:57:03,393 She said your mother insisted. 1312 00:57:03,395 --> 00:57:05,759 That's what she told you? (SCOFFS) 1313 00:57:05,761 --> 00:57:07,927 My father gave that ring to my mother. 1314 00:57:07,929 --> 00:57:09,294 It was like the only bit of jewelry 1315 00:57:09,296 --> 00:57:10,560 that she ever owned. 1316 00:57:10,562 --> 00:57:12,493 I took Emily to London to meet my mother 1317 00:57:12,495 --> 00:57:13,727 after we eloped. 1318 00:57:13,729 --> 00:57:16,393 It went missing that weekend. 1319 00:57:16,395 --> 00:57:19,459 My mother was frantic. We searched everywhere. 1320 00:57:19,461 --> 00:57:20,895 Nothing. We didn't find a single thing. 1321 00:57:22,362 --> 00:57:24,292 My mother was devastated. 1322 00:57:24,294 --> 00:57:25,763 So we took a flight back to New York. 1323 00:57:26,995 --> 00:57:28,495 Guess what I found. 1324 00:57:29,327 --> 00:57:30,729 What did you find? 1325 00:57:31,662 --> 00:57:32,960 No! (LAUGHS) 1326 00:57:32,962 --> 00:57:34,692 No way! 1327 00:57:34,694 --> 00:57:37,292 My little Sherlock Holmes. (LAUGHS) 1328 00:57:37,294 --> 00:57:39,027 Mum is gonna be so relieved. 1329 00:57:39,029 --> 00:57:40,927 Oh, come on, baby. 1330 00:57:40,929 --> 00:57:43,663 Mum will take it to the grave. What a waste. 1331 00:57:44,428 --> 00:57:45,659 So pretty. 1332 00:57:45,661 --> 00:57:46,627 Excuse me. 1333 00:57:46,629 --> 00:57:49,459 Not amusing, my darling, not in the slightest. 1334 00:57:49,461 --> 00:57:52,259 I'm not joking in the slightest, 1335 00:57:52,261 --> 00:57:54,026 (IN BRITISH ACCENT) my darling. 1336 00:57:54,028 --> 00:57:55,027 (IN NORMAL ACCENT) I took it. 1337 00:57:55,029 --> 00:57:57,392 I don't have any intention of giving it back. 1338 00:57:57,394 --> 00:57:58,592 Of course we're gonna give it back. 1339 00:57:58,594 --> 00:58:00,293 No. 1340 00:58:00,295 --> 00:58:01,627 We'll tell her that it just slipped 1341 00:58:01,629 --> 00:58:02,892 into your purse by accident, 1342 00:58:02,894 --> 00:58:05,425 and we've only found it now. 1343 00:58:05,427 --> 00:58:07,360 But if you tell her that I found it, 1344 00:58:07,362 --> 00:58:08,859 then I have to tell her that I stole it. 1345 00:58:08,861 --> 00:58:11,260 And what do you think will be worse for her? 1346 00:58:11,262 --> 00:58:13,426 Thinking that she lost her ring, 1347 00:58:13,428 --> 00:58:16,260 or thinking that her son married a thief? (GASPS) 1348 00:58:16,262 --> 00:58:17,759 Baby... Hey. 1349 00:58:17,761 --> 00:58:19,895 You choose, her or me? 1350 00:58:23,028 --> 00:58:24,926 Meet me in the bathroom in 20 seconds. 1351 00:58:24,928 --> 00:58:25,962 Knock twice. 1352 00:58:52,594 --> 00:58:55,959 SEAN: Nine months later, Nicky was born. 1353 00:58:55,961 --> 00:58:58,027 STEPHANIE: How could you stay with her? 1354 00:58:58,029 --> 00:59:00,292 I was spellbound. 1355 00:59:00,294 --> 00:59:01,393 She was the only woman 1356 00:59:01,395 --> 00:59:02,827 I could never figure out fully. 1357 00:59:02,829 --> 00:59:04,959 As a young, arrogant writer, I could never 1358 00:59:04,961 --> 00:59:06,993 live up to what she expected of me. 1359 00:59:06,995 --> 00:59:08,792 I was always looking over my shoulder. 1360 00:59:08,794 --> 00:59:10,228 I could hardly sleep. 1361 00:59:11,629 --> 00:59:13,459 But with you, it's different. 1362 00:59:13,461 --> 00:59:14,893 I sleep like a log. 1363 00:59:14,895 --> 00:59:16,626 That's what every woman wants to hear. 1364 00:59:16,628 --> 00:59:17,692 You know what I mean. 1365 00:59:17,694 --> 00:59:19,461 You understand me, you see me. 1366 00:59:20,361 --> 00:59:22,325 You've rebuilt me, Stephanie. 1367 00:59:22,327 --> 00:59:23,762 I've even started writing again. 1368 00:59:24,595 --> 00:59:26,592 First couple of chapters, 1369 00:59:26,594 --> 00:59:27,796 but it's a start. 1370 00:59:29,628 --> 00:59:30,696 Oh. 1371 00:59:31,995 --> 00:59:33,759 That's wonderful. 1372 00:59:33,761 --> 00:59:35,660 You took a broken man, 1373 00:59:35,662 --> 00:59:37,993 and you pieced him back together again. 1374 00:59:37,995 --> 00:59:40,461 You're unlike any other woman I've ever met. 1375 00:59:42,394 --> 00:59:43,428 Move in with me. 1376 00:59:44,794 --> 00:59:45,760 Sean. 1377 00:59:45,762 --> 00:59:48,493 No, it's too soon. What will people think? 1378 00:59:48,495 --> 00:59:49,792 They're already thinking it. 1379 00:59:49,794 --> 00:59:52,393 And I'm tired of lying. I'm tired of pretending. 1380 00:59:52,395 --> 00:59:53,529 I want to be this man. 1381 00:59:54,262 --> 00:59:55,596 The man I am with you. 1382 00:59:56,829 --> 00:59:58,760 I don't do threesomes. 1383 00:59:58,762 --> 00:59:59,893 I want to say that. 1384 00:59:59,895 --> 01:00:01,360 I'll just get that out in the open. 1385 01:00:01,362 --> 01:00:02,993 What are you talking about? 1386 01:00:02,995 --> 01:00:04,660 Your TA? 1387 01:00:04,662 --> 01:00:08,259 Emily told me about your little moment. 1388 01:00:08,261 --> 01:00:09,560 That's what she told you? Yes. 1389 01:00:09,562 --> 01:00:10,626 Stephanie, listen. 1390 01:00:10,628 --> 01:00:12,827 Emily was a pathological liar. 1391 01:00:12,829 --> 01:00:14,829 That never happened, okay? 1392 01:00:15,962 --> 01:00:17,860 Why did you take out a $4 million 1393 01:00:17,862 --> 01:00:19,659 insurance policy on her? 1394 01:00:19,661 --> 01:00:22,292 My gosh. Those cops really did a number on you, didn't they? 1395 01:00:22,294 --> 01:00:23,626 I'm being serious. 1396 01:00:23,628 --> 01:00:25,459 It was because of you. 1397 01:00:25,461 --> 01:00:26,927 When Emily found out that you had been 1398 01:00:26,929 --> 01:00:29,727 living off your husband's insurance money, 1399 01:00:29,729 --> 01:00:32,360 she thought she and I needed to get policies 1400 01:00:32,362 --> 01:00:33,826 out for Nicky's sake. 1401 01:00:33,828 --> 01:00:35,795 It's probably the most responsible thing we ever did. 1402 01:00:36,695 --> 01:00:37,896 Thanks to you. 1403 01:00:40,294 --> 01:00:41,693 Move in with me. 1404 01:00:41,695 --> 01:00:44,292 We can start a whole new, wonderful life together. 1405 01:00:44,294 --> 01:00:45,862 Just you, me and the boys. 1406 01:00:47,461 --> 01:00:49,762 Please, say yes. (CHUCKLES) 1407 01:00:52,528 --> 01:00:54,930 I love you, Stephanie Smothers. 1408 01:00:56,428 --> 01:00:58,660 I love you, too. 1409 01:00:58,662 --> 01:01:00,495 (UPBEAT FRENCH MUSIC PLAYING) 1410 01:01:21,528 --> 01:01:22,859 (STEPHANIE GASPS) 1411 01:01:22,861 --> 01:01:24,195 (GRUNTS) 1412 01:02:04,761 --> 01:02:05,963 (SCREAMS) 1413 01:02:16,495 --> 01:02:19,360 Hi, moms. This is Stephanie here. 1414 01:02:19,362 --> 01:02:21,325 I'm gonna do something a little different today. 1415 01:02:21,327 --> 01:02:23,760 I normally avoid any talk of religion on the vlog. 1416 01:02:23,762 --> 01:02:26,793 I don't wanna offend any non-denominational moms. 1417 01:02:26,795 --> 01:02:29,563 But I do think that we live on after we die, so... 1418 01:02:31,761 --> 01:02:32,959 Emily, 1419 01:02:32,961 --> 01:02:35,559 if you are out there, 1420 01:02:35,561 --> 01:02:37,760 and you can hear me right now, 1421 01:02:37,762 --> 01:02:39,927 no one could ever replace you. 1422 01:02:39,929 --> 01:02:42,960 And you'll always be Nicky's mom. 1423 01:02:42,962 --> 01:02:45,392 I can't take your place. 1424 01:02:45,394 --> 01:02:49,560 I can just try to love the people that you love 1425 01:02:49,562 --> 01:02:51,959 and try to make their lives better. 1426 01:02:51,961 --> 01:02:53,695 I think that's what you would want. 1427 01:02:56,428 --> 01:02:58,627 (MUSIC PLAYING ON RADIO) (BOYS GRUNTING) 1428 01:02:58,629 --> 01:03:01,392 Okay, guys, it's getting too rough back there. 1429 01:03:01,394 --> 01:03:03,260 I murdered you! 1430 01:03:03,262 --> 01:03:05,692 Not me. I came back to life. 1431 01:03:05,694 --> 01:03:07,359 Like your mom! 1432 01:03:07,361 --> 01:03:08,993 Okay, the dolls are going in your backpacks 1433 01:03:08,995 --> 01:03:10,492 or they're going in the trash, I mean it. 1434 01:03:10,494 --> 01:03:13,860 Mom, they're not dolls! God! 1435 01:03:13,862 --> 01:03:17,260 Stephanie, my mom told me to give you this. 1436 01:03:17,262 --> 01:03:19,260 MILES: Mom! (CAR HORN HONKING) 1437 01:03:19,262 --> 01:03:21,196 (TIRES SCREECHING) (BOYS SCREAMING) 1438 01:03:26,394 --> 01:03:27,961 Damn! Are you trying to kill us? 1439 01:03:41,829 --> 01:03:43,729 (CELL PHONE RINGING) 1440 01:03:45,428 --> 01:03:46,429 (SIGHS) 1441 01:03:47,761 --> 01:03:48,859 Hello? 1442 01:03:48,861 --> 01:03:49,826 MAN: Hi, I'm calling from 1443 01:03:49,828 --> 01:03:51,525 United Timeshare International. 1444 01:03:51,527 --> 01:03:52,826 Yep, I... 1445 01:03:52,828 --> 01:03:54,660 We'd like to offer you a free trip to the Bahamas. 1446 01:03:54,662 --> 01:03:56,259 All you have to do is come down to one of... 1447 01:03:56,261 --> 01:03:58,326 I don't want that, have a nice day. 1448 01:03:58,328 --> 01:03:59,629 I don't want that, I don't care. 1449 01:04:00,362 --> 01:04:02,195 Oh, my God! 1450 01:04:02,795 --> 01:04:04,729 (CELL PHONE RINGING) 1451 01:04:05,961 --> 01:04:07,393 Hi, I'm sure you have a job to do. 1452 01:04:07,395 --> 01:04:08,459 I don't need a free trip. 1453 01:04:08,461 --> 01:04:09,462 EMILY: Hi. 1454 01:04:12,495 --> 01:04:13,696 Brotherfucker. 1455 01:04:16,661 --> 01:04:19,260 Emily? No, no, Emily's dead. 1456 01:04:19,262 --> 01:04:21,759 Oh, no, have you forgotten already? 1457 01:04:21,761 --> 01:04:23,560 Where are you? I'm in heaven. 1458 01:04:23,562 --> 01:04:25,726 Watching over you. 1459 01:04:25,728 --> 01:04:27,196 Nice blouse, by the way. 1460 01:04:29,594 --> 01:04:31,460 Why are you doing this? 1461 01:04:31,462 --> 01:04:33,025 How do you know it's just me doing it? 1462 01:04:33,027 --> 01:04:35,395 Hey, hey, hey, kiss Sean for me, 1463 01:04:35,928 --> 01:04:37,461 four million times. 1464 01:04:43,294 --> 01:04:44,193 Oh, hey. 1465 01:04:44,195 --> 01:04:46,325 Are you trying to Diabolique me? 1466 01:04:46,327 --> 01:04:47,560 What are you talking about? 1467 01:04:47,562 --> 01:04:48,426 Diabolique, you know? 1468 01:04:48,428 --> 01:04:51,559 The French movie about the guy whose wife 1469 01:04:51,561 --> 01:04:53,260 and mistress, they're trying to kill him. 1470 01:04:53,262 --> 01:04:54,493 But I don't have a $4 million 1471 01:04:54,495 --> 01:04:55,858 insurance policy. Stephanie... 1472 01:04:55,860 --> 01:04:58,559 If you and Emily are in some kind of plan, please just call it off... 1473 01:04:58,561 --> 01:05:00,492 Stephanie. I'm really not the one. 1474 01:05:00,494 --> 01:05:02,026 Just breathe, please. (SIGHS) 1475 01:05:02,028 --> 01:05:04,593 Nicky's getting to you. Emily is dead. 1476 01:05:04,595 --> 01:05:05,828 She called me. 1477 01:05:06,662 --> 01:05:07,993 What? 1478 01:05:07,995 --> 01:05:09,460 She called me today. 1479 01:05:09,462 --> 01:05:10,825 I have a friend in the psychology department. 1480 01:05:10,827 --> 01:05:11,891 I'll give him a call. (KNOCK ON DOOR) 1481 01:05:11,893 --> 01:05:13,492 BETH: Hey, handsome, you got time... 1482 01:05:13,494 --> 01:05:16,659 I am sorry. I didn't know you were in a meeting. 1483 01:05:16,661 --> 01:05:17,992 Beth, this is Stephanie. 1484 01:05:17,994 --> 01:05:19,692 Nice to meet you. 1485 01:05:19,694 --> 01:05:21,393 Nice to meet you. 1486 01:05:21,395 --> 01:05:23,359 I was just wondering if you needed 1487 01:05:23,361 --> 01:05:25,460 to use the SMART board, 'cause it's broken. 1488 01:05:25,462 --> 01:05:27,429 I can live without it. BETH: All right. 1489 01:05:28,261 --> 01:05:29,329 All right. 1490 01:05:31,362 --> 01:05:32,525 She seems nice. 1491 01:05:32,527 --> 01:05:34,493 Stephanie, go home. 1492 01:05:34,495 --> 01:05:36,360 Emily had some Xanax in the medicine cabinet. 1493 01:05:36,362 --> 01:05:37,459 Take one. Take two. 1494 01:05:37,461 --> 01:05:39,958 Yeah. Maybe she has some heroin lying around. Hmm? 1495 01:05:39,960 --> 01:05:42,595 This is all just grief. Just stages of grief. 1496 01:05:43,661 --> 01:05:45,025 I'm sorry, you're right. 1497 01:05:45,027 --> 01:05:47,495 I'm so overwhelmed, and I... 1498 01:05:48,528 --> 01:05:49,861 (SIGHS) I'm sorry. 1499 01:05:54,827 --> 01:05:57,361 EMILY: Oh, baby, you just need someone to love you. 1500 01:05:58,794 --> 01:06:02,425 STEPHANIE: I have you. All you need is a good friend. 1501 01:06:02,427 --> 01:06:03,993 Come on, don't you miss sex? 1502 01:06:03,995 --> 01:06:07,260 Having a man fuck you on top of a washing machine? 1503 01:06:07,262 --> 01:06:09,759 (SIGHS) Barely remember what it's like. 1504 01:06:09,761 --> 01:06:10,858 Why are you such a masochist? 1505 01:06:10,860 --> 01:06:12,627 You could have a man in your bed any time you want. 1506 01:06:12,629 --> 01:06:14,659 I had a man, I ruined that, so... 1507 01:06:14,661 --> 01:06:15,858 What does that mean? 1508 01:06:15,860 --> 01:06:18,260 Come on, what does that mean? 1509 01:06:18,262 --> 01:06:20,526 If you can't tell me, you can't tell anyone. 1510 01:06:20,528 --> 01:06:21,529 I'm your best friend. 1511 01:06:22,729 --> 01:06:24,262 (INHALES DEEPLY) 1512 01:06:33,495 --> 01:06:35,496 (INAUDIBLE) 1513 01:06:41,894 --> 01:06:43,529 STEPHANIE: Let's go see Daddy. 1514 01:06:47,594 --> 01:06:48,858 DAVIS: I just want the truth. 1515 01:06:48,860 --> 01:06:50,259 STEPHANIE: What are you talking about? 1516 01:06:50,261 --> 01:06:52,758 About Miles and Chris. 1517 01:06:52,760 --> 01:06:55,459 Chris? My brother, Chris? 1518 01:06:55,461 --> 01:06:57,393 Yeah, your brother. 1519 01:06:57,395 --> 01:06:59,959 And you certainly don't act like it. 1520 01:06:59,961 --> 01:07:02,891 Sometimes it's more like you guys are lovers, right? 1521 01:07:02,893 --> 01:07:04,692 (GASPS) 1522 01:07:04,694 --> 01:07:06,627 That's disgusting. That's... 1523 01:07:06,629 --> 01:07:07,862 Is Miles mine or not? 1524 01:07:08,694 --> 01:07:10,725 (STAMMERS) 1525 01:07:10,727 --> 01:07:11,858 Oh, my God! 1526 01:07:11,860 --> 01:07:13,891 Are you listening to yourself? 1527 01:07:13,893 --> 01:07:15,459 You sound ridiculous. 1528 01:07:15,461 --> 01:07:16,894 Yeah. 1529 01:07:22,327 --> 01:07:23,659 (PLATES CRASHING) 1530 01:07:23,661 --> 01:07:26,460 STEPHANIE: Davis! Davis! 1531 01:07:26,462 --> 01:07:28,426 Where are you going? 1532 01:07:28,428 --> 01:07:29,891 Where are you going? Davis? 1533 01:07:29,893 --> 01:07:31,260 Steph, it's all right. Don't worry. 1534 01:07:31,262 --> 01:07:32,758 Just gonna go for a drive. 1535 01:07:32,760 --> 01:07:34,260 Have a little talk. Man to man. 1536 01:07:34,262 --> 01:07:35,262 No problem. 1537 01:07:44,261 --> 01:07:45,761 (ENGINE STARTING) 1538 01:07:55,927 --> 01:07:57,528 It's my fault. 1539 01:07:59,462 --> 01:08:01,326 I'm the reason they're both dead. 1540 01:08:01,328 --> 01:08:02,958 No. 1541 01:08:02,960 --> 01:08:04,628 Hey, don't do that. 1542 01:08:05,494 --> 01:08:07,425 People do terrible things 1543 01:08:07,427 --> 01:08:08,592 for their own fucked-up reasons. 1544 01:08:08,594 --> 01:08:09,659 That's on them, 1545 01:08:09,661 --> 01:08:10,662 it's not on you. Yeah. 1546 01:08:12,961 --> 01:08:14,295 I miss him. 1547 01:08:15,027 --> 01:08:16,396 Which one? 1548 01:08:18,528 --> 01:08:19,629 Both. 1549 01:08:20,893 --> 01:08:22,961 I'm lonely. 1550 01:08:25,561 --> 01:08:27,392 I think loneliness probably kills more people 1551 01:08:27,394 --> 01:08:28,428 than cancer. 1552 01:08:31,461 --> 01:08:33,428 Hey, come here. 1553 01:08:35,594 --> 01:08:36,828 Come here. 1554 01:08:52,793 --> 01:08:55,562 You're okay. Want to order pizza? 1555 01:09:00,495 --> 01:09:03,892 Oh, God. God, I'm so embarrassed. 1556 01:09:03,894 --> 01:09:08,825 Oh, because of that? No, hey. It's all good, baby. 1557 01:09:08,827 --> 01:09:10,495 It's all good. Just another Tuesday. 1558 01:09:28,961 --> 01:09:31,196 (LATIN HIP-HOP MUSIC PLAYING) 1559 01:09:49,461 --> 01:09:50,861 (BUZZES) 1560 01:09:52,995 --> 01:09:54,396 DIANA: (ON INTERCOM) Go away. 1561 01:09:55,262 --> 01:09:56,728 Diana Hyland? 1562 01:09:57,728 --> 01:09:58,894 Did you paint this? 1563 01:10:11,661 --> 01:10:13,260 Where on Earth did you find it? 1564 01:10:13,262 --> 01:10:16,296 I should start by giving you some unfortunate news. 1565 01:10:17,328 --> 01:10:18,627 Emily's dead. 1566 01:10:19,362 --> 01:10:20,859 My condolences. 1567 01:10:20,861 --> 01:10:22,362 Who the fuck is Emily? 1568 01:10:22,994 --> 01:10:24,395 The girl in the painting. 1569 01:10:27,894 --> 01:10:29,325 Good. 1570 01:10:29,327 --> 01:10:30,626 Her name's not Emily. 1571 01:10:30,628 --> 01:10:31,628 Her name's Claudia. 1572 01:10:32,760 --> 01:10:35,292 Rest in peace, asshole. 1573 01:10:35,294 --> 01:10:37,459 So, not a pleasant memory for you, then? 1574 01:10:37,461 --> 01:10:40,292 No, opposite. She was amazing. 1575 01:10:40,294 --> 01:10:43,025 I mean, she was the best that I ever had. 1576 01:10:43,027 --> 01:10:44,591 I was selling paintings. 1577 01:10:44,593 --> 01:10:46,026 You know, it was the first time 1578 01:10:46,028 --> 01:10:48,025 in my career that I had any buzz. 1579 01:10:48,027 --> 01:10:49,925 She walked into my gallery. 1580 01:10:49,927 --> 01:10:52,626 A real fucking muse just right out of thin air. 1581 01:10:52,628 --> 01:10:53,826 What happened? 1582 01:10:53,828 --> 01:10:55,329 She was all I could paint. 1583 01:10:56,861 --> 01:10:59,026 I memorized every inch of her body. 1584 01:10:59,028 --> 01:11:00,691 My dealer fucking hated it. 1585 01:11:00,693 --> 01:11:02,558 And the art critics fucking hated it. 1586 01:11:02,560 --> 01:11:05,891 They called me a knockoff dyke Mapplethorpe. 1587 01:11:05,893 --> 01:11:08,926 Anyway, I blew my whole career painting that con artist. 1588 01:11:08,928 --> 01:11:11,359 Now all I paint are these goddamn knives, 1589 01:11:11,361 --> 01:11:13,659 which are pretty good, but nobody wants to buy this shit. 1590 01:11:13,661 --> 01:11:16,895 Oh, what? They're so good. People are just jealous. 1591 01:11:20,427 --> 01:11:22,558 I haven't had a drink in 42 days. 1592 01:11:22,560 --> 01:11:23,658 Oh, don't... 1593 01:11:23,660 --> 01:11:25,525 Might as well celebrate. 1594 01:11:25,527 --> 01:11:27,728 Mmm, well, cheers. 1595 01:11:30,760 --> 01:11:33,195 I gave her my heart and I gave her my soul. 1596 01:11:34,262 --> 01:11:37,759 I paid for her to go to college. 1597 01:11:37,761 --> 01:11:39,359 I paid off her debts. 1598 01:11:39,361 --> 01:11:41,260 Did you ever see any heroin use? 1599 01:11:41,262 --> 01:11:43,459 No. No way, her? 1600 01:11:43,461 --> 01:11:44,795 No, she didn't touch it. 1601 01:11:45,362 --> 01:11:46,492 Shit. 1602 01:11:46,494 --> 01:11:49,958 She never let me paint her face except for this one. 1603 01:11:49,960 --> 01:11:52,992 I've never seen such a beautiful girl 1604 01:11:52,994 --> 01:11:54,626 wanna be so invisible 1605 01:11:54,628 --> 01:11:56,892 or just completely vanish. 1606 01:11:56,894 --> 01:11:58,425 But you know what, it takes 1607 01:11:58,427 --> 01:11:59,926 money to vanish. 1608 01:11:59,928 --> 01:12:03,362 And so she took everything that she could from me. 1609 01:12:05,560 --> 01:12:06,928 You know how I would paint you? 1610 01:12:09,660 --> 01:12:11,525 Beatific. 1611 01:12:11,527 --> 01:12:12,895 Like a fucking saint. 1612 01:12:13,694 --> 01:12:14,929 I get that a lot. 1613 01:12:16,295 --> 01:12:18,262 You should embrace it. People love saints. 1614 01:12:19,361 --> 01:12:21,460 Yeah. After they're dead. 1615 01:12:23,394 --> 01:12:25,559 Okay. What do you know about her? How did she die? 1616 01:12:25,561 --> 01:12:26,628 In a lake. 1617 01:12:27,727 --> 01:12:28,827 On heroin. 1618 01:12:31,994 --> 01:12:34,525 Well, you don't believe that or you wouldn't be here. 1619 01:12:34,527 --> 01:12:37,262 She didn't ever mention Michigan, did she? 1620 01:12:37,627 --> 01:12:38,628 (SCOFFS) 1621 01:12:39,393 --> 01:12:40,395 (SNIFFS) 1622 01:12:44,727 --> 01:12:47,626 That is the only thing that she ever left here. 1623 01:12:47,628 --> 01:12:49,794 She said she had it since she was a kid. 1624 01:12:52,727 --> 01:12:53,791 I warn you, 1625 01:12:53,793 --> 01:12:55,758 you go poking around in her past, 1626 01:12:55,760 --> 01:12:58,626 you're gonna find some shit that is terrifying. 1627 01:12:58,628 --> 01:13:01,395 She was not a normal person like you or me. 1628 01:13:02,262 --> 01:13:03,726 Sean, it's Stephanie... 1629 01:13:03,728 --> 01:13:05,525 I thought about what you said. 1630 01:13:05,527 --> 01:13:08,392 You're right. These are just stages of grief. 1631 01:13:08,394 --> 01:13:10,725 This experience has been so stressful for both of us, 1632 01:13:10,727 --> 01:13:12,326 I'm gonna take a couple of days to myself. 1633 01:13:12,328 --> 01:13:13,691 I'll have Sona pick up the boys, 1634 01:13:13,693 --> 01:13:14,958 and they can stay at her house tonight. 1635 01:13:14,960 --> 01:13:16,892 You should take some time, too. 1636 01:13:16,894 --> 01:13:18,325 There's ham stew in the freezer. 1637 01:13:18,327 --> 01:13:19,492 Five minutes in the microwave. 1638 01:13:19,494 --> 01:13:20,495 Lots of love. 1639 01:13:21,294 --> 01:13:22,726 (PEOPLE LAUGHING) 1640 01:13:22,728 --> 01:13:24,591 MARYANNE: Yeah, we've been saving young souls 1641 01:13:24,593 --> 01:13:26,292 going on 50 years now. 1642 01:13:26,294 --> 01:13:27,926 Not Bobby and me personally. 1643 01:13:27,928 --> 01:13:29,791 Well, it seems just perfect! 1644 01:13:29,793 --> 01:13:31,392 And my son's practically a porpoise, 1645 01:13:31,394 --> 01:13:33,559 so I know he's gonna love swimming in that pond. 1646 01:13:33,561 --> 01:13:34,658 That's Squaw Lake! 1647 01:13:34,660 --> 01:13:37,458 The kids all joke that it's holy water. 1648 01:13:37,460 --> 01:13:38,892 (LAUGHS) Any fish you pull out of there 1649 01:13:38,894 --> 01:13:40,459 is guaranteed to feed a multitude. 1650 01:13:40,461 --> 01:13:42,324 (ALL LAUGHING) Oh! Oh. That's so funny. 1651 01:13:42,326 --> 01:13:43,558 Yeah. 1652 01:13:43,560 --> 01:13:47,292 Um... Have you guys got any old photo albums 1653 01:13:47,294 --> 01:13:49,391 or a yearbook I could look at? 1654 01:13:49,393 --> 01:13:50,891 I always feel like there's no better review 1655 01:13:50,893 --> 01:13:52,791 of a place than the faces of the campers. 1656 01:13:52,793 --> 01:13:55,292 Oh, heck, yeah. We got a ton of 'em down in the basement. 1657 01:13:55,294 --> 01:13:56,628 You'll see nothing but smiles. 1658 01:14:04,828 --> 01:14:06,295 (SIGHS) 1659 01:14:20,361 --> 01:14:21,795 Hope and Faith. 1660 01:14:24,560 --> 01:14:28,424 STEPHANIE: Hi. I'm looking for the McLanden Foundation. 1661 01:14:28,426 --> 01:14:30,425 Is this Margaret McLanden? 1662 01:14:30,427 --> 01:14:31,626 MARGARET: Who's this? 1663 01:14:31,628 --> 01:14:34,758 Yeah. Hi, there. My name's Maryanne Chelkowsky. 1664 01:14:34,760 --> 01:14:37,325 I'm the director of the Squaw Lake Bible Camp. 1665 01:14:37,327 --> 01:14:38,359 What do you want? 1666 01:14:38,361 --> 01:14:41,025 Well, we are putting together the 50th anniversary 1667 01:14:41,027 --> 01:14:42,625 edition of our camp gazette. 1668 01:14:42,627 --> 01:14:44,591 We're trying to track down some star alumni. 1669 01:14:44,593 --> 01:14:47,958 Are you any relation to Hope and Faith McLanden? 1670 01:14:47,960 --> 01:14:50,291 BRUCE: Hello. Bruce, it's that camp. 1671 01:14:50,293 --> 01:14:52,659 The girls must have done something again and God... 1672 01:14:52,661 --> 01:14:53,926 BRUCE: Girls are long gone, Mrs. M. 1673 01:14:53,928 --> 01:14:54,992 You just go on back to your chair. 1674 01:14:54,994 --> 01:14:56,659 MARGARET: But it's filthy there, Bruce. 1675 01:14:56,661 --> 01:14:57,758 I've asked you a... 1676 01:14:57,760 --> 01:14:59,229 (LINE DISCONNECTS) Gotcha. 1677 01:15:00,394 --> 01:15:02,261 (THUNDER RUMBLING) 1678 01:15:28,693 --> 01:15:29,928 (DOOR OPENS) 1679 01:15:34,927 --> 01:15:36,761 (TRUCK DOOR CLOSES) (ENGINE STARTING) 1680 01:15:42,561 --> 01:15:43,861 (SIGHS) Take your time, Bruce. 1681 01:15:46,260 --> 01:15:47,427 (THUNDER CONTINUES RUMBLING) 1682 01:15:56,960 --> 01:15:58,194 (KNOCKS ON DOOR) 1683 01:16:00,460 --> 01:16:01,528 (DOOR OPENS) 1684 01:16:06,027 --> 01:16:07,461 Mrs. McLanden? 1685 01:16:09,294 --> 01:16:11,228 Hi, I'm Gloria from the cleaning service. 1686 01:16:11,594 --> 01:16:12,691 Who? 1687 01:16:12,693 --> 01:16:13,591 Didn't Bruce tell you? 1688 01:16:13,593 --> 01:16:14,891 I'm supposed to clean the entire place 1689 01:16:14,893 --> 01:16:15,959 until you could eat 1690 01:16:15,961 --> 01:16:17,891 a four-course meal off the floor. 1691 01:16:17,893 --> 01:16:19,325 Did I get the date... 1692 01:16:19,327 --> 01:16:20,828 Shoot! 1693 01:16:21,426 --> 01:16:22,695 (DOOR OPENS) 1694 01:16:24,261 --> 01:16:26,228 Start in my upstairs bathroom. 1695 01:16:31,995 --> 01:16:33,929 (WHISPERS) It's not lying if I'm actually cleaning. 1696 01:16:51,661 --> 01:16:52,792 MARGARET: Bruce! 1697 01:16:52,794 --> 01:16:54,195 The fire's dying! 1698 01:16:55,694 --> 01:16:56,862 Bruce! 1699 01:17:08,793 --> 01:17:11,359 (MUSIC PLAYING) (CAT MEOWS) 1700 01:17:11,361 --> 01:17:13,424 I couldn't help noticing that 1701 01:17:13,426 --> 01:17:14,961 lovely picture of your daughters. 1702 01:17:17,360 --> 01:17:18,726 Where's Bruce? 1703 01:17:18,728 --> 01:17:19,958 Bruce! Oh, um... 1704 01:17:19,960 --> 01:17:22,260 Bruce had to go out. Um... 1705 01:17:22,627 --> 01:17:23,794 So, 1706 01:17:24,728 --> 01:17:26,025 your daughter, Faith... 1707 01:17:26,027 --> 01:17:27,625 She had some trouble, I gather? 1708 01:17:27,627 --> 01:17:28,792 Troubles! 1709 01:17:28,794 --> 01:17:30,492 (SCOFFS) 1710 01:17:30,494 --> 01:17:32,562 Troubles would've been a vacation. 1711 01:17:33,995 --> 01:17:36,892 That child came straight from hell. 1712 01:17:36,894 --> 01:17:39,725 That's a very strong statement for a mother. 1713 01:17:39,727 --> 01:17:41,292 Are you a mother? 1714 01:17:41,294 --> 01:17:44,725 Yes. I love every minute of it. 1715 01:17:44,727 --> 01:17:46,491 Aww. (CHUCKLES) 1716 01:17:46,493 --> 01:17:47,727 Then you must have brain damage. 1717 01:17:48,561 --> 01:17:50,424 It's a thankless business. 1718 01:17:50,426 --> 01:17:53,558 And some children are just born rotten. 1719 01:17:53,560 --> 01:17:56,792 They don't need a parent. They need an exorcist. 1720 01:17:56,794 --> 01:17:58,895 My husband understood that. 1721 01:18:01,360 --> 01:18:03,026 Now, wait. Don't tell Bruce! 1722 01:18:03,028 --> 01:18:04,993 No. Bingo! (LAUGHS) 1723 01:18:04,995 --> 01:18:07,828 It's unseemly, the way that man polices me. 1724 01:18:08,661 --> 01:18:10,025 Would you like some sherry? 1725 01:18:10,027 --> 01:18:11,959 Oh, no, thank you. You're very sweet. 1726 01:18:11,961 --> 01:18:14,259 Wait, that's... (SNIFFS) 1727 01:18:14,261 --> 01:18:16,992 That's not sherry. That's the gin. 1728 01:18:16,994 --> 01:18:18,324 Where's the sherry? 1729 01:18:18,326 --> 01:18:20,026 Must be behind the Sylvia Plath. 1730 01:18:20,028 --> 01:18:21,694 What ever happened to Faith? 1731 01:18:22,527 --> 01:18:23,891 Oh, everything. Everything. 1732 01:18:23,893 --> 01:18:27,559 We spent so much money on her rehab. 1733 01:18:27,561 --> 01:18:29,858 Hope tried to help take care of her 1734 01:18:29,860 --> 01:18:33,291 and get her off that stuff. 1735 01:18:33,293 --> 01:18:36,458 Of course, Hope's a born liar with terrible posture. 1736 01:18:36,460 --> 01:18:37,791 Uh, Mrs. McLanden? 1737 01:18:37,793 --> 01:18:41,360 Do you know the person in this photograph? 1738 01:18:44,260 --> 01:18:46,826 That's Faith. That's Faith! 1739 01:18:46,828 --> 01:18:48,691 Now, why're you... Did she send you? 1740 01:18:48,693 --> 01:18:50,692 No, I'm not even sure... Are you the police? 1741 01:18:50,694 --> 01:18:51,892 No, I'm just ask... 1742 01:18:51,894 --> 01:18:53,626 I have told you people a thousand times. 1743 01:18:53,628 --> 01:18:57,325 My memory is not good anymore. It will not stand up in court. 1744 01:18:57,327 --> 01:18:58,591 The night of that fire, 1745 01:18:58,593 --> 01:19:00,591 my husband and I were estranged. 1746 01:19:00,593 --> 01:19:02,292 We lived in separate wings of the house. 1747 01:19:02,294 --> 01:19:05,025 The fire that burned down the west wing? 1748 01:19:05,027 --> 01:19:06,694 Are you an insurance agent? 1749 01:19:07,526 --> 01:19:08,759 Yes. 1750 01:19:08,761 --> 01:19:10,459 Oh! (LAUGHS) 1751 01:19:10,461 --> 01:19:13,459 Oh, good! Oh, good, good. 1752 01:19:13,461 --> 01:19:14,691 Oh, Bruce and I have been waiting 1753 01:19:14,693 --> 01:19:16,258 for the insurance money. 1754 01:19:16,260 --> 01:19:19,726 Of course, you assholes had that clause about arson. 1755 01:19:19,728 --> 01:19:21,992 Arson. Yeah. Vultures. 1756 01:19:21,994 --> 01:19:23,925 Here's to being house poor! 1757 01:19:23,927 --> 01:19:26,259 You ain't supposed to be drinking, Mrs. M. 1758 01:19:26,261 --> 01:19:27,525 Who are you? Well, uh... 1759 01:19:27,527 --> 01:19:30,524 Thank you so much for your time, Mrs. McLanden. 1760 01:19:30,526 --> 01:19:33,025 I will get you that faux Givenchy suit in ivory 1761 01:19:33,027 --> 01:19:35,392 and the scarf in taupe. 1762 01:19:35,394 --> 01:19:37,892 I will put a rush on it! Thank you for your order! 1763 01:19:37,894 --> 01:19:39,695 Shit. Okay. (ENGINE STARTING) 1764 01:20:00,561 --> 01:20:01,594 (GASPS) 1765 01:20:16,694 --> 01:20:18,295 Where do you think you're going? 1766 01:20:18,994 --> 01:20:20,291 Uh... 1767 01:20:20,293 --> 01:20:22,594 I wanted to order the navy blazer. 1768 01:20:23,660 --> 01:20:25,260 Extra large. 1769 01:20:25,793 --> 01:20:26,795 Great. 1770 01:20:29,926 --> 01:20:31,627 (SIGHS) 1771 01:20:32,628 --> 01:20:33,791 Hello. 1772 01:20:33,793 --> 01:20:35,258 What do you want, cupcake? 1773 01:20:35,260 --> 01:20:37,559 I'm looking for all the Wayne County 1774 01:20:37,561 --> 01:20:38,658 arson-related news items 1775 01:20:38,660 --> 01:20:39,893 for the last 20 years. 1776 01:20:49,527 --> 01:20:51,591 Hi, moms, Stephanie here. 1777 01:20:51,593 --> 01:20:53,925 I'm coming to you from Michigan. 1778 01:20:53,927 --> 01:20:56,494 Special on-the-road edition. 1779 01:20:58,628 --> 01:21:00,325 As many of you know, 1780 01:21:00,327 --> 01:21:01,826 I was struggling to find closure 1781 01:21:01,828 --> 01:21:03,992 surrounding the death of my best friend. 1782 01:21:03,994 --> 01:21:06,726 So I drove up to the lake where she drowned 1783 01:21:06,728 --> 01:21:10,625 to see if I could dredge something up. 1784 01:21:10,627 --> 01:21:12,024 Oh, shit. 1785 01:21:12,026 --> 01:21:12,891 Well, it turns out 1786 01:21:12,893 --> 01:21:15,459 this is the site of many a canoe race 1787 01:21:15,461 --> 01:21:17,391 at the Squaw Lake Bible Camp. 1788 01:21:17,393 --> 01:21:19,758 I had to dig through a bunch of camp journals, 1789 01:21:19,760 --> 01:21:23,558 and I found a photo of Emily, 1790 01:21:23,560 --> 01:21:25,858 whose middle name is Claudia. 1791 01:21:25,860 --> 01:21:27,325 Not pretty I didn't know that. 1792 01:21:27,327 --> 01:21:30,725 You crazy fucking bitch. 1793 01:21:30,727 --> 01:21:32,924 It's like looking at an angel, isn't it, moms? 1794 01:21:32,926 --> 01:21:34,691 Brotherfucker. 1795 01:21:34,693 --> 01:21:36,725 And it gave me the closure I needed. 1796 01:21:36,727 --> 01:21:38,992 I feel closer to Emily than I've ever felt. 1797 01:21:38,994 --> 01:21:40,924 Almost like a twin. 1798 01:21:40,926 --> 01:21:42,694 Emily, wherever you are, 1799 01:21:44,526 --> 01:21:47,195 I hope that you're listening. 1800 01:21:48,326 --> 01:21:49,794 And you gotta have faith. 1801 01:21:51,493 --> 01:21:53,927 Brotherfucker! (HIP-HOP MUSIC PLAYING) 1802 01:21:55,661 --> 01:21:56,762 (GRUNTS) 1803 01:22:04,027 --> 01:22:05,726 ♫ Things that we need ♫ 1804 01:22:05,728 --> 01:22:07,325 ♫ Money, clothes, Weed, indeed ♫ 1805 01:22:07,327 --> 01:22:09,592 ♫ Hats, food, booze Essentials, credentials ♫ 1806 01:22:09,594 --> 01:22:11,957 ♫ Code of the streets Owners who creep ♫ 1807 01:22:11,959 --> 01:22:14,391 ♫ Slow when you sleep Holdin' the heat ♫ 1808 01:22:14,393 --> 01:22:16,725 ♫ Put holes in your jeep Respect the streets ♫ 1809 01:22:16,727 --> 01:22:20,194 ♫ It's the L-I-L-F-A-M-E ♫ 1810 01:22:20,892 --> 01:22:22,891 Mom's home! 1811 01:22:22,893 --> 01:22:24,791 Oh, Smoochie-smooch? 1812 01:22:24,793 --> 01:22:25,725 (GASPS) Oh, my goodness! 1813 01:22:25,727 --> 01:22:27,562 Smooch, I missed you so much! (KISSES) 1814 01:22:28,260 --> 01:22:29,225 Where were you? 1815 01:22:29,227 --> 01:22:31,691 And why did we have to sleep at Hector's house? 1816 01:22:31,693 --> 01:22:32,925 He pees the bed! 1817 01:22:32,927 --> 01:22:34,924 Oh! Hector's the worst! 1818 01:22:34,926 --> 01:22:36,394 They could've stayed with me, you know. 1819 01:22:37,994 --> 01:22:39,857 I thought we all needed a breather. 1820 01:22:39,859 --> 01:22:41,527 Now I feel like a million bucks. 1821 01:22:41,927 --> 01:22:43,361 Maybe even four. 1822 01:22:44,027 --> 01:22:45,728 (DIALING CELL PHONE) 1823 01:22:46,561 --> 01:22:48,459 Hi, my name's Beth. 1824 01:22:48,461 --> 01:22:50,525 I'm calling on behalf of my boss, Sean Townsend, 1825 01:22:50,527 --> 01:22:52,591 about his wife, Emily Nelson's policy. 1826 01:22:52,593 --> 01:22:58,459 The number is CT7602258001. 1827 01:22:58,461 --> 01:22:59,525 Can you tell me the name of the agent 1828 01:22:59,527 --> 01:23:00,724 who handles that account, please? 1829 01:23:00,726 --> 01:23:02,857 Dear Miss Prager, my name is Bruce Hargrave. 1830 01:23:02,859 --> 01:23:04,591 I'm writing to you about a case you're handling 1831 01:23:04,593 --> 01:23:06,659 for Emily Nelson, recently deceased. 1832 01:23:06,661 --> 01:23:07,726 I have been the caretaker 1833 01:23:07,728 --> 01:23:09,591 of her family estate for many years. 1834 01:23:09,593 --> 01:23:10,857 What I have to say will sound crazy, 1835 01:23:10,859 --> 01:23:13,024 but years ago, my employer died in a house fire. 1836 01:23:13,026 --> 01:23:14,857 His teen daughters, Hope and Faith McLanden, 1837 01:23:14,859 --> 01:23:16,391 disappeared without a trace. 1838 01:23:16,393 --> 01:23:17,492 I'm attaching an old photo. 1839 01:23:17,494 --> 01:23:18,890 Hi, this is Sean Townsend. 1840 01:23:18,892 --> 01:23:20,428 I was meant to meet Billy Kent for lunch. 1841 01:23:21,994 --> 01:23:23,524 What do you mean? 1842 01:23:23,526 --> 01:23:25,760 You guys called two days ago to organize this. 1843 01:23:30,027 --> 01:23:31,692 No, never mind. 1844 01:23:31,694 --> 01:23:32,827 I'll call him back. 1845 01:23:33,627 --> 01:23:34,627 Boo. 1846 01:23:40,294 --> 01:23:41,524 Oh, come on, you dumb shit. 1847 01:23:41,526 --> 01:23:42,659 We've spent every anniversary here. 1848 01:23:42,661 --> 01:23:43,960 How could you not put it together? 1849 01:23:44,494 --> 01:23:45,958 Emily, why? 1850 01:23:45,960 --> 01:23:47,691 I have four million reasons why. 1851 01:23:47,693 --> 01:23:49,524 How could you do this to Nicky? 1852 01:23:49,526 --> 01:23:50,825 I did this for Nicky. 1853 01:23:50,827 --> 01:23:53,024 I hated that job. I never got to see him. 1854 01:23:53,026 --> 01:23:54,758 It's not like we could live off your faculty buffet 1855 01:23:54,760 --> 01:23:56,791 the rest of our lives, could we? 1856 01:23:56,793 --> 01:23:58,559 I grieved your death. 1857 01:23:58,561 --> 01:24:00,558 I understand. 1858 01:24:00,560 --> 01:24:02,458 You're not alone. They say that 1859 01:24:02,460 --> 01:24:04,625 90% of people who lose their spouse 1860 01:24:04,627 --> 01:24:06,724 end up sleeping with their spouse's best friend 1861 01:24:06,726 --> 01:24:08,325 after their funeral, actually. 1862 01:24:08,327 --> 01:24:09,291 Really? 1863 01:24:09,293 --> 01:24:12,626 No, I just made that up, you fucking dick. 1864 01:24:12,628 --> 01:24:14,258 That's how you grieve? 1865 01:24:14,260 --> 01:24:15,957 Balls deep in my best friend? 1866 01:24:15,959 --> 01:24:16,991 You could've told me something. 1867 01:24:16,993 --> 01:24:19,292 Except you can't keep a secret, even in the dark. 1868 01:24:19,294 --> 01:24:21,628 Anything. You almost ruined everything. 1869 01:24:23,594 --> 01:24:25,291 I had to lay low until the insurance money 1870 01:24:25,293 --> 01:24:26,226 came through. 1871 01:24:26,228 --> 01:24:28,992 And so why didn't you stay low? Hmm? 1872 01:24:28,994 --> 01:24:31,392 Instead, you terrorized our son. 1873 01:24:31,394 --> 01:24:32,359 I didn't terrorize him. 1874 01:24:32,361 --> 01:24:33,757 You made me think that he had gone insane 1875 01:24:33,759 --> 01:24:35,625 as well as Stephanie. 1876 01:24:35,627 --> 01:24:37,525 I missed him too much. 1877 01:24:37,527 --> 01:24:38,794 He's my little dude. 1878 01:24:39,893 --> 01:24:41,461 You know how much I love that kid. 1879 01:24:42,628 --> 01:24:43,691 (EMILY SIGHS) 1880 01:24:43,693 --> 01:24:45,325 Well, the clock is ticking now. 1881 01:24:45,327 --> 01:24:47,524 Nancy Drew knows too much. 1882 01:24:47,526 --> 01:24:49,491 If she fucks up my insurance money coming through, 1883 01:24:49,493 --> 01:24:50,957 I'm taking you down with me. 1884 01:24:50,959 --> 01:24:52,559 You're taking me down with you? 1885 01:24:52,561 --> 01:24:53,991 Well, of course, this was all your plan. 1886 01:24:53,993 --> 01:24:55,425 My plan? 1887 01:24:55,427 --> 01:24:56,790 I had nothing to do with it... 1888 01:24:56,792 --> 01:24:57,991 Why are you playing dumb now? 1889 01:24:57,993 --> 01:24:59,658 ...you twisted fucking psycho. 1890 01:24:59,660 --> 01:25:00,827 I don't know where... (GUN COCKS) 1891 01:25:03,660 --> 01:25:05,527 What were you saying about me being a fucking psycho? 1892 01:25:06,827 --> 01:25:08,391 Do you love her? 1893 01:25:08,393 --> 01:25:10,559 No. It was just sex. 1894 01:25:10,561 --> 01:25:13,328 Did you think of me when you were fucking her? 1895 01:25:13,593 --> 01:25:14,594 Yes. 1896 01:25:17,427 --> 01:25:19,024 Do you love me or not, baby? 1897 01:25:19,026 --> 01:25:20,725 Of course I do. 1898 01:25:20,727 --> 01:25:22,492 She doesn't mean a thing to me. 1899 01:25:22,494 --> 01:25:23,724 Good. 1900 01:25:23,726 --> 01:25:25,824 (GUN CLICKS) 1901 01:25:25,826 --> 01:25:27,657 (BREATHING HEAVILY) Oh, shit. Oh, shit. 1902 01:25:27,659 --> 01:25:28,857 I forgot to load it. 1903 01:25:28,859 --> 01:25:30,525 Fuck. Oh, God. 1904 01:25:30,527 --> 01:25:32,625 Can you imagine if I would've, though? 1905 01:25:32,627 --> 01:25:33,790 What a mess. 1906 01:25:33,792 --> 01:25:35,625 Emily, you're crazy. 1907 01:25:35,627 --> 01:25:37,958 Hey, it's pretty simple. You know? 1908 01:25:37,960 --> 01:25:39,861 It's your choice. Her or me? 1909 01:25:40,726 --> 01:25:41,927 It's not that hard. 1910 01:25:43,860 --> 01:25:44,861 Hey. 1911 01:25:45,427 --> 01:25:46,758 Stop it. 1912 01:25:46,760 --> 01:25:48,890 You love this. 1913 01:25:48,892 --> 01:25:51,260 Meet me in the bathroom in 20 seconds. 1914 01:25:53,260 --> 01:25:54,527 Knock twice. 1915 01:26:04,327 --> 01:26:06,461 (WOMEN CHATTERING) 1916 01:26:08,293 --> 01:26:09,358 STEPHANIE: There he is now. 1917 01:26:09,360 --> 01:26:12,724 Mr. Townsend, Isabel Prager, Addison First Insurance. 1918 01:26:12,726 --> 01:26:14,424 I'm investigating the death benefit claim 1919 01:26:14,426 --> 01:26:15,694 for your late wife. 1920 01:26:19,294 --> 01:26:20,295 Sean, 1921 01:26:21,494 --> 01:26:23,395 did you know that Emily had a twin? 1922 01:26:26,026 --> 01:26:27,557 No, but... 1923 01:26:27,559 --> 01:26:29,359 Well, I hate to even say this, 1924 01:26:29,361 --> 01:26:30,825 but it means the body in the lake 1925 01:26:30,827 --> 01:26:32,757 could be this sister. 1926 01:26:32,759 --> 01:26:34,458 ISABEL: It could explain the DNA match. 1927 01:26:34,460 --> 01:26:35,558 And if that's the case, 1928 01:26:35,560 --> 01:26:37,794 then where is Emily? 1929 01:26:42,393 --> 01:26:45,025 If my wife was still alive, she'd come home. 1930 01:26:45,027 --> 01:26:46,228 She'd wanna see her son. 1931 01:26:48,760 --> 01:26:50,025 I'm not a cop, 1932 01:26:50,027 --> 01:26:51,858 and I'm definitely no therapist, 1933 01:26:51,860 --> 01:26:54,358 I'm just an insurance guy. (INHALES) 1934 01:26:54,360 --> 01:26:57,392 But this is an incredibly interesting case. 1935 01:26:57,394 --> 01:26:59,624 This is just bananas, isn't it? 1936 01:26:59,626 --> 01:27:01,458 Yeah. ISABEL: I will say, 1937 01:27:01,460 --> 01:27:02,857 it's unusual 1938 01:27:02,859 --> 01:27:04,658 to live with someone as husband and wife 1939 01:27:04,660 --> 01:27:05,925 and not know that they have a twin. 1940 01:27:05,927 --> 01:27:07,891 She was a very private person. 1941 01:27:07,893 --> 01:27:10,991 Well, hey, we all have our secrets. 1942 01:27:10,993 --> 01:27:13,324 (LAUGHS) (CHUCKLES) 1943 01:27:13,326 --> 01:27:14,791 But, as I'm sure you can understand, 1944 01:27:14,793 --> 01:27:16,325 with a payment of this size, 1945 01:27:16,327 --> 01:27:18,391 we'll have to continue this claims investigation. 1946 01:27:18,393 --> 01:27:19,491 Of course. 1947 01:27:19,493 --> 01:27:21,591 And, by law, give all our findings 1948 01:27:21,593 --> 01:27:22,791 to the authorities. 1949 01:27:22,793 --> 01:27:24,558 Of course, anything you need. 1950 01:27:24,560 --> 01:27:26,690 I just hope that my wife is still alive. 1951 01:27:26,692 --> 01:27:27,694 I want her back. 1952 01:27:31,860 --> 01:27:33,491 Okey-dokey, then. 1953 01:27:33,493 --> 01:27:35,490 Obviously, if you do hear from her... 1954 01:27:35,492 --> 01:27:37,259 You'll be the first to know. Thank you so much! 1955 01:27:37,261 --> 01:27:39,295 Okay, thank you. Thanks for the coffee. 1956 01:27:40,727 --> 01:27:41,825 Bye-bye. 1957 01:27:41,827 --> 01:27:42,827 Thank you so much again. Thanks. 1958 01:27:44,426 --> 01:27:45,791 You knew that she had a twin. 1959 01:27:45,793 --> 01:27:46,991 Did I? 1960 01:27:46,993 --> 01:27:48,725 Why didn't you? 1961 01:27:48,727 --> 01:27:49,992 You knew and you didn't tell me. 1962 01:27:49,994 --> 01:27:51,195 Sean, (SCOFFS) 1963 01:27:51,960 --> 01:27:53,460 you sound crazy. 1964 01:27:54,892 --> 01:27:56,228 Take a Xanax. 1965 01:27:56,792 --> 01:27:58,690 Take two. 1966 01:27:58,692 --> 01:28:00,557 Hi, moms. Stephanie here. 1967 01:28:00,559 --> 01:28:02,992 Today, we're talking about tombstone tributes. 1968 01:28:02,994 --> 01:28:04,590 I want to thank Helen from Missoula, Montana, 1969 01:28:04,592 --> 01:28:05,725 for the suggestions. 1970 01:28:05,727 --> 01:28:07,890 For thinking outside the box. 1971 01:28:07,892 --> 01:28:11,490 You know, it doesn't have to just be flowers anymore. 1972 01:28:11,492 --> 01:28:16,890 I think any item that sparks a fond memory is perfect. 1973 01:28:16,892 --> 01:28:19,557 Emily's favorite treat was a dry gin martini 1974 01:28:19,559 --> 01:28:20,824 in the late afternoon. 1975 01:28:20,826 --> 01:28:23,825 I'm gonna make a couple just like Emily used to. 1976 01:28:23,827 --> 01:28:26,457 Frozen gin, frozen glass, 1977 01:28:26,459 --> 01:28:28,359 generous twist. 1978 01:28:28,361 --> 01:28:30,294 I'm gonna head out there a little later today. 1979 01:28:31,394 --> 01:28:32,861 Have a toast on her grave. 1980 01:28:37,492 --> 01:28:39,395 Nice, big twist. I taught you well. 1981 01:28:40,293 --> 01:28:41,727 Student's become the master. 1982 01:28:42,393 --> 01:28:44,426 Ooh, wisdom. 1983 01:28:45,760 --> 01:28:47,690 Hey, give me that. 1984 01:28:47,692 --> 01:28:49,259 I don't know what tricks you have 1985 01:28:49,261 --> 01:28:51,359 up those new sleeves of yours. 1986 01:28:51,361 --> 01:28:52,992 You think I poisoned both drinks? 1987 01:28:52,994 --> 01:28:54,328 That's not my style. 1988 01:28:54,893 --> 01:28:56,594 I don't even eat gluten. 1989 01:28:59,727 --> 01:29:01,328 Want another? Please. 1990 01:29:02,827 --> 01:29:03,991 First, tell me why 1991 01:29:03,993 --> 01:29:05,658 you killed your father and sister. 1992 01:29:05,660 --> 01:29:07,259 Okay, why don't we first talk about 1993 01:29:07,261 --> 01:29:08,624 your son's real father? 1994 01:29:08,626 --> 01:29:11,424 Oh! Emily, I hold all the cards here. 1995 01:29:11,426 --> 01:29:12,891 I wanna know about your twin, Faith. 1996 01:29:12,893 --> 01:29:14,025 I'm not a twin. 1997 01:29:14,027 --> 01:29:15,857 Great, I know that you are. 1998 01:29:15,859 --> 01:29:17,524 We were triplets. 1999 01:29:17,526 --> 01:29:19,791 Faith, Hope, and Charity. Charity was stillborn. 2000 01:29:19,793 --> 01:29:20,891 Mom thought we offed her 2001 01:29:20,893 --> 01:29:21,958 in the womb. Hmm. 2002 01:29:21,960 --> 01:29:23,890 Dad believed her. 2003 01:29:23,892 --> 01:29:25,793 She's quite a woman, your mother. 2004 01:29:26,927 --> 01:29:28,558 I had a nice afternoon with Mags. 2005 01:29:28,560 --> 01:29:30,423 You met my mother? 2006 01:29:30,425 --> 01:29:32,523 She likes her martinis even stronger than yours. 2007 01:29:32,525 --> 01:29:35,258 We had a little walk down memory lane. 2008 01:29:35,260 --> 01:29:36,992 She's a cold woman, Em. 2009 01:29:36,994 --> 01:29:39,891 Bet you couldn't do anything right in her eyes. 2010 01:29:39,893 --> 01:29:42,259 It was probably Faith's idea to set the fire. 2011 01:29:42,261 --> 01:29:43,924 But then, all the bad ideas were Faith's, weren't they? 2012 01:29:43,926 --> 01:29:45,957 You don't know anything. Sure I do. 2013 01:29:45,959 --> 01:29:47,590 And I get it. 2014 01:29:47,592 --> 01:29:49,457 You're 16. 2015 01:29:49,459 --> 01:29:51,960 It's that age where you feel so trapped. 2016 01:29:53,559 --> 01:29:56,294 Then, if your mother always had the biting comment... 2017 01:30:02,626 --> 01:30:04,657 Faith, it's over. Let's go! Dad! Dad! 2018 01:30:04,659 --> 01:30:06,891 Dad! Don't touch me! It's not my fault! 2019 01:30:06,893 --> 01:30:08,992 ...I'm guessing your father was more direct. 2020 01:30:08,994 --> 01:30:10,924 (PUNCHING) MR. McLANDEN: Whore! 2021 01:30:10,926 --> 01:30:12,992 Never again! Stop! 2022 01:30:12,994 --> 01:30:15,761 That's when you and Faith learned to hit the reset button, right? 2023 01:30:17,627 --> 01:30:18,758 Burn, baby, burn. 2024 01:30:18,760 --> 01:30:21,393 (FIRE ROARING) (MR. MCLANDEN SCREAMING) 2025 01:30:27,359 --> 01:30:28,591 Why'd you leave each other? 2026 01:30:28,593 --> 01:30:31,657 Well, we couldn't stay together after the fire. 2027 01:30:31,659 --> 01:30:33,690 The cops were looking for the big blonde arson twins. 2028 01:30:33,692 --> 01:30:35,394 We were a walking sideshow. 2029 01:30:36,560 --> 01:30:38,824 (ECHOING) Fuck off! 2030 01:30:38,826 --> 01:30:41,490 We had to say goodbye, so we did it with tattoos. 2031 01:30:41,492 --> 01:30:44,426 Flames, and a little something for Charity. 2032 01:30:49,592 --> 01:30:51,358 We split up in Corpus Christi. 2033 01:30:51,360 --> 01:30:52,491 She was gonna head south to Mexico, 2034 01:30:52,493 --> 01:30:54,458 I was gonna go north. 2035 01:30:54,460 --> 01:30:55,624 We set a time and place to meet 2036 01:30:55,626 --> 01:30:57,426 after the smoke cleared. 2037 01:30:58,525 --> 01:31:01,025 But then, she never showed up. 2038 01:31:01,027 --> 01:31:03,460 I was worried sick. I waited for days. 2039 01:31:04,260 --> 01:31:05,757 But nothing. 2040 01:31:05,759 --> 01:31:07,324 I thought maybe this is my opportunity 2041 01:31:07,326 --> 01:31:08,458 to do it on my own. 2042 01:31:08,460 --> 01:31:09,757 She was always getting me into trouble. 2043 01:31:09,759 --> 01:31:10,925 So I bought a one-way ticket to New York 2044 01:31:10,927 --> 01:31:12,324 and never looked back. 2045 01:31:12,326 --> 01:31:13,423 Did you miss her? 2046 01:31:13,425 --> 01:31:14,490 Of course I missed her. 2047 01:31:14,492 --> 01:31:15,992 I wasn't whole without her. 2048 01:31:15,994 --> 01:31:17,891 But I couldn't go on like that, I had to survive. 2049 01:31:17,893 --> 01:31:18,791 And it worked. 2050 01:31:18,793 --> 01:31:20,924 Yeah, my life in New York fell into place. 2051 01:31:20,926 --> 01:31:23,757 I got a job, worked my way up. 2052 01:31:23,759 --> 01:31:25,493 I met the perfect man. 2053 01:31:26,460 --> 01:31:28,323 Oh, you know that part, though. 2054 01:31:28,325 --> 01:31:29,758 Then your sister calls. 2055 01:31:29,760 --> 01:31:30,991 Fucking Facebook. 2056 01:31:30,993 --> 01:31:33,323 You had to see her. Yeah, of course I did. 2057 01:31:33,325 --> 01:31:36,524 So you fabricate this trip to Miami, 2058 01:31:36,526 --> 01:31:37,824 meet up at the old camp. 2059 01:31:37,826 --> 01:31:39,727 Camp bunk four, it was our happy place. 2060 01:31:42,360 --> 01:31:44,794 It was the only place we could escape our dad, really. 2061 01:31:53,492 --> 01:31:54,992 STEPHANIE: Must've been shocking 2062 01:31:54,994 --> 01:31:56,761 to see her after all those years. 2063 01:31:58,526 --> 01:32:01,391 EMILY: Yeah, it was like looking in the mirror. 2064 01:32:01,393 --> 01:32:03,890 Except at the sick life she chose over me. 2065 01:32:03,892 --> 01:32:05,491 STEPHANIE: What did she want? 2066 01:32:05,493 --> 01:32:06,494 EMILY: Everything. 2067 01:32:08,793 --> 01:32:10,391 Just gonna stand there? 2068 01:32:10,393 --> 01:32:11,490 (FAITH SCOFFS) 2069 01:32:11,492 --> 01:32:12,925 You gotta have Faith. 2070 01:32:12,927 --> 01:32:15,324 I don't hear from you for 14 years, 2071 01:32:15,326 --> 01:32:17,025 and now, here you are? 2072 01:32:17,027 --> 01:32:18,491 I'm out of cash. 2073 01:32:18,493 --> 01:32:19,494 Shocking. 2074 01:32:20,826 --> 01:32:22,493 The fuck did you say? 2075 01:32:25,393 --> 01:32:26,457 Nothing. 2076 01:32:26,459 --> 01:32:28,391 Get away with it this time. 2077 01:32:28,393 --> 01:32:29,857 Okay, so, um... 2078 01:32:29,859 --> 01:32:31,424 Now what? I don't know. 2079 01:32:31,426 --> 01:32:32,691 I didn't know where to go. 2080 01:32:32,693 --> 01:32:34,690 When I call, you act like a stranger. 2081 01:32:34,692 --> 01:32:36,558 Won't even let me come meet your family. 2082 01:32:36,560 --> 01:32:38,423 What am I supposed to say to them? 2083 01:32:38,425 --> 01:32:39,427 The truth? 2084 01:32:40,026 --> 01:32:42,290 Well, you may as well now 2085 01:32:42,292 --> 01:32:44,390 because I'm about to tell the cops. 2086 01:32:44,392 --> 01:32:45,491 You're what? 2087 01:32:45,493 --> 01:32:47,891 I don't know what else to do. 2088 01:32:47,893 --> 01:32:49,523 I don't have anything, 2089 01:32:49,525 --> 01:32:51,658 so I don't really have anything to lose. 2090 01:32:51,660 --> 01:32:53,523 I'm gonna go tell them everything we did. 2091 01:32:53,525 --> 01:32:55,391 And then we'll go down together. 2092 01:32:55,393 --> 01:32:56,524 We can be together again. 2093 01:32:56,526 --> 01:32:58,323 I have a little boy now. 2094 01:32:58,325 --> 01:33:00,958 Yeah, I know. I saw that kid. He's super cute. 2095 01:33:00,960 --> 01:33:02,491 Cut the shit, okay? 2096 01:33:02,493 --> 01:33:03,894 What do you want from me? 2097 01:33:05,960 --> 01:33:07,323 I want a million bucks. 2098 01:33:07,325 --> 01:33:08,590 How am I supposed to give you that? 2099 01:33:08,592 --> 01:33:09,824 You're rich and famous now. 2100 01:33:09,826 --> 01:33:11,593 I can't give you a million dollars. 2101 01:33:12,859 --> 01:33:14,423 You do seem highly motivated. 2102 01:33:14,425 --> 01:33:16,323 I don't know what it is, though. 2103 01:33:16,325 --> 01:33:17,490 It's your job, 2104 01:33:17,492 --> 01:33:19,423 probably your kid. 2105 01:33:19,425 --> 01:33:21,391 Don't talk about Nicky. 2106 01:33:21,393 --> 01:33:23,858 (CHUCKLES) Yeah, I'll, um... 2107 01:33:23,860 --> 01:33:27,324 I'll sell the house. I'll do whatever I need to do. 2108 01:33:27,326 --> 01:33:28,725 If I do this, you can't tell anyone ever. 2109 01:33:28,727 --> 01:33:29,727 Do you understand? 2110 01:33:30,493 --> 01:33:32,423 Yeah, I get it. 2111 01:33:32,425 --> 01:33:34,457 I mean, I don't really get the big deal about kids. 2112 01:33:34,459 --> 01:33:36,891 You could always just make another kid. 2113 01:33:36,893 --> 01:33:39,258 You know that, right? 2114 01:33:39,260 --> 01:33:40,627 You can't make another sister, though. 2115 01:33:42,459 --> 01:33:44,290 It's fucking hot. 2116 01:33:44,292 --> 01:33:46,424 Come on, let's go swimming. 2117 01:33:46,426 --> 01:33:48,194 Remember? Like we used to. 2118 01:33:49,460 --> 01:33:51,390 You coming? Yeah. 2119 01:33:51,392 --> 01:33:52,626 Right behind you. 2120 01:34:03,526 --> 01:34:04,791 STEPHANIE: How'd you get her in the lake? 2121 01:34:04,793 --> 01:34:06,458 EMILY: Fuck you. I didn't kill my sister. 2122 01:34:06,460 --> 01:34:07,493 That was her idea. 2123 01:34:13,459 --> 01:34:14,693 (FAITH LAUGHING) 2124 01:34:15,460 --> 01:34:16,928 Come on, wimp. 2125 01:34:18,827 --> 01:34:21,025 What? I thought you were the alpha now. 2126 01:34:21,027 --> 01:34:22,291 No? 2127 01:34:22,293 --> 01:34:23,928 I am the alpha, God damn it. 2128 01:34:32,392 --> 01:34:33,626 (CONTINUES LAUGHING) 2129 01:34:34,492 --> 01:34:35,761 (SPLASHES) 2130 01:34:41,026 --> 01:34:43,690 You abandoned me. 2131 01:34:43,692 --> 01:34:45,925 We were supposed to be a team, you and me. 2132 01:34:45,927 --> 01:34:47,025 Remember? 2133 01:34:47,027 --> 01:34:48,494 Yeah, I know we were. 2134 01:34:49,793 --> 01:34:52,360 But I just thought the only chance we had was alone. 2135 01:34:53,459 --> 01:34:54,693 You were right. 2136 01:34:55,426 --> 01:34:56,961 I'm sorry, kid. 2137 01:35:01,626 --> 01:35:02,627 Me, too. 2138 01:35:07,692 --> 01:35:08,827 (FAITH GASPS) 2139 01:35:58,425 --> 01:35:59,991 EMILY: I was so worried. 2140 01:35:59,993 --> 01:36:03,193 I woke up the next morning. I couldn't find her anywhere. 2141 01:36:04,860 --> 01:36:06,260 I never thought... 2142 01:36:08,026 --> 01:36:09,826 I never thought she'd do that, you know? 2143 01:36:12,759 --> 01:36:15,590 When I found her body in the lake, it was too late. 2144 01:36:15,592 --> 01:36:16,758 Lie. 2145 01:36:16,760 --> 01:36:17,824 You drowned her. 2146 01:36:17,826 --> 01:36:19,857 No, she killed herself. 2147 01:36:19,859 --> 01:36:21,490 I'm just all that's left of her. 2148 01:36:21,492 --> 01:36:22,925 No, you're a sister killer. 2149 01:36:22,927 --> 01:36:24,424 You're a brotherfucker. 2150 01:36:24,426 --> 01:36:25,691 Ooh! 2151 01:36:25,693 --> 01:36:27,257 What does Sean know? 2152 01:36:27,259 --> 01:36:28,359 Everything. 2153 01:36:29,260 --> 01:36:30,524 It was his idea. 2154 01:36:30,526 --> 01:36:32,390 I didn't know what to do once I found the body. 2155 01:36:32,392 --> 01:36:34,691 He said maybe this is our opportunity. 2156 01:36:34,693 --> 01:36:36,424 We could finally get out of debt. 2157 01:36:36,426 --> 01:36:37,494 Flee the country. 2158 01:36:38,460 --> 01:36:39,891 Spend more time with Nicky. 2159 01:36:39,893 --> 01:36:41,657 He convinced me we could pull it off. 2160 01:36:41,659 --> 01:36:43,524 That her DNA would do the rest. 2161 01:36:43,526 --> 01:36:45,791 I don't believe you. He grieved for you. 2162 01:36:45,793 --> 01:36:47,290 Oh, you believed that? 2163 01:36:47,292 --> 01:36:48,757 Aw, that was all an act. 2164 01:36:48,759 --> 01:36:50,457 You're a pathological liar. 2165 01:36:50,459 --> 01:36:51,760 Did Sean say that? 2166 01:36:53,593 --> 01:36:55,691 Cool. 2167 01:36:55,693 --> 01:36:57,894 I'm just gonna play you this tune real quick. 2168 01:37:01,492 --> 01:37:03,791 EMILY: Do you love her? SEAN: No. 2169 01:37:03,793 --> 01:37:05,124 It was just sex. 2170 01:37:05,126 --> 01:37:07,494 EMILY: Did you think of me when you were fucking her? 2171 01:37:08,025 --> 01:37:09,790 SEAN: Yes. 2172 01:37:09,792 --> 01:37:11,524 EMILY: Do you love me or not, baby? 2173 01:37:11,526 --> 01:37:13,323 SEAN: Of course I do. 2174 01:37:13,325 --> 01:37:15,291 She doesn't mean a thing to me. 2175 01:37:15,293 --> 01:37:17,726 I'm sorry, baby. I know you thought it was real. 2176 01:37:19,492 --> 01:37:21,625 But, hey, look on the bright side. 2177 01:37:21,627 --> 01:37:23,825 Your website went viral, thanks to me. 2178 01:37:23,827 --> 01:37:25,824 All this for a little money? 2179 01:37:25,826 --> 01:37:29,024 A little $4 million. (CHUCKLES) 2180 01:37:29,026 --> 01:37:31,790 That's not exactly little, huh? 2181 01:37:31,792 --> 01:37:33,690 I was hiding out till that money came in. 2182 01:37:33,692 --> 01:37:35,590 He was just gonna tie up some loose ends. 2183 01:37:35,592 --> 01:37:37,290 Was I a loose end? 2184 01:37:37,292 --> 01:37:38,924 Well, he needed help with Nicky. 2185 01:37:38,926 --> 01:37:40,724 You're so good with those kids. 2186 01:37:40,726 --> 01:37:42,991 So what happens now? 2187 01:37:42,993 --> 01:37:45,458 I just want my kid. 2188 01:37:45,460 --> 01:37:46,957 You fucked up my insurance plan. 2189 01:37:46,959 --> 01:37:48,825 The authorities won't back down on that. 2190 01:37:48,827 --> 01:37:49,923 You can have Sean. He's a piece of shit. 2191 01:37:49,925 --> 01:37:51,257 I don't even want him. 2192 01:37:51,259 --> 01:37:52,757 I don't want Sean. 2193 01:37:52,759 --> 01:37:54,227 Then I don't know, I guess there's... 2194 01:37:55,727 --> 01:37:57,227 There's another way, but 2195 01:37:57,993 --> 01:38:00,323 sort of one mother to another. 2196 01:38:00,325 --> 01:38:01,660 (FRENCH MUSIC PLAYING) (SEAN SNORING) 2197 01:38:04,692 --> 01:38:06,693 (WHISPERS) Sleeping like a log. 2198 01:38:25,792 --> 01:38:27,360 (MUSIC STOPS) 2199 01:38:34,326 --> 01:38:36,423 Oh! What's going on? 2200 01:38:36,425 --> 01:38:38,560 They have a warrant. I tried to call you. 2201 01:38:39,460 --> 01:38:41,457 Excuse me. I'm Sean Townsend. 2202 01:38:41,459 --> 01:38:43,258 Look, I'm happy to comply with anything you need. 2203 01:38:43,260 --> 01:38:45,591 But it would be nice to have a heads-up. 2204 01:38:45,593 --> 01:38:46,991 This is an open investigation. 2205 01:38:46,993 --> 01:38:49,294 You don't get to pencil us in when it's convenient. 2206 01:38:50,726 --> 01:38:52,593 (BRAKES SCREECHING) 2207 01:38:56,426 --> 01:38:57,561 Hey. 2208 01:38:58,593 --> 01:38:59,790 Am I under arrest? 2209 01:38:59,792 --> 01:39:02,358 Oh, no, not yet. The DA wants a slam dunk. 2210 01:39:02,360 --> 01:39:04,491 That's gonna be pretty hard since I haven't done anything. 2211 01:39:04,493 --> 01:39:05,726 Did you know your wife was alive? 2212 01:39:06,727 --> 01:39:07,857 Not until recently. 2213 01:39:07,859 --> 01:39:09,424 When? 2214 01:39:09,426 --> 01:39:10,758 She contacted me. 2215 01:39:10,760 --> 01:39:13,523 And you immediately notified the authorities, right? 2216 01:39:13,525 --> 01:39:15,391 I can't discuss this without my attorney. 2217 01:39:15,393 --> 01:39:17,457 You know what? You really are a professor, aren't you? 2218 01:39:17,459 --> 01:39:19,290 Okay, we'll talk soon. 2219 01:39:19,292 --> 01:39:21,457 Oh, uh, if we need to contact you, 2220 01:39:21,459 --> 01:39:23,527 will you be with your wife or the best friend? 2221 01:39:25,559 --> 01:39:26,859 Somebody else? 2222 01:39:36,627 --> 01:39:38,291 I need a stiff drink. Maybe some of your... 2223 01:39:38,293 --> 01:39:40,491 I'm sorry. You can't come in. 2224 01:39:40,493 --> 01:39:42,658 What? Where's Nicky? 2225 01:39:42,660 --> 01:39:44,023 He's upstairs playing. 2226 01:39:44,025 --> 01:39:46,357 You have to go. What are you talking about? 2227 01:39:46,359 --> 01:39:48,323 This is an ongoing investigation, Sean. 2228 01:39:48,325 --> 01:39:49,491 For fuck's sake. 2229 01:39:49,493 --> 01:39:50,557 I can't let you into this house 2230 01:39:50,559 --> 01:39:51,823 until this whole thing's been solved. 2231 01:39:51,825 --> 01:39:53,023 She's gotten to you, hasn't she? 2232 01:39:53,025 --> 01:39:54,491 This has nothing to do with Emily. 2233 01:39:54,493 --> 01:39:57,023 It's got everything to do with her. 2234 01:39:57,025 --> 01:39:58,625 She's gaslighting you. 2235 01:39:58,627 --> 01:40:00,557 You don't understand how powerful she is. 2236 01:40:00,559 --> 01:40:02,757 No, I don't understand anything right now. 2237 01:40:02,759 --> 01:40:04,290 Stephanie, don't do this. 2238 01:40:04,292 --> 01:40:06,226 Please don't make me call the police. 2239 01:40:12,826 --> 01:40:15,323 (CAR DOOR CLOSES) 2240 01:40:15,325 --> 01:40:17,326 (SOULFUL MUSIC PLAYING) 2241 01:40:29,325 --> 01:40:31,626 (RINGING) 2242 01:40:44,260 --> 01:40:47,357 SEAN: Stephanie, please call me back. 2243 01:40:47,359 --> 01:40:48,690 I don't know what's going on 2244 01:40:48,692 --> 01:40:50,857 or how this is all going to turn out. 2245 01:40:50,859 --> 01:40:52,523 But you're a great mum, 2246 01:40:52,525 --> 01:40:54,924 and you taught me how to be a better dad. 2247 01:40:54,926 --> 01:40:57,824 For that, I'll always be grateful. 2248 01:40:57,826 --> 01:41:02,324 The truth is, I don't think I ever knew my wife. 2249 01:41:02,326 --> 01:41:04,227 Or what she's capable of. 2250 01:41:30,259 --> 01:41:31,926 (INAUDIBLE) 2251 01:41:38,992 --> 01:41:40,723 NEWS ANCHOR 1: A shocking new development 2252 01:41:40,725 --> 01:41:42,025 in the Emily Nelson case, 2253 01:41:42,027 --> 01:41:45,457 which first went viral on a popular Internet vlog. 2254 01:41:45,459 --> 01:41:47,524 The PR executive who was believed dead 2255 01:41:47,526 --> 01:41:48,924 in Michigan has resurfaced. 2256 01:41:48,926 --> 01:41:50,990 And it appears the body found in the lake 2257 01:41:50,992 --> 01:41:53,323 was that of Nelson's estranged twin sister. 2258 01:41:53,325 --> 01:41:55,523 Nelson's husband, Sean Townsend, 2259 01:41:55,525 --> 01:41:57,924 an abusive failed novelist and English professor 2260 01:41:57,926 --> 01:42:00,957 allegedly forced her to stage her own death 2261 01:42:00,959 --> 01:42:01,924 in order to collect 2262 01:42:01,926 --> 01:42:03,956 a $4 million life insurance policy. 2263 01:42:03,958 --> 01:42:05,091 NEWS ANCHOR 1: Nevertheless, 2264 01:42:05,093 --> 01:42:07,723 bail for Mr. Townsend will be set today. 2265 01:42:07,725 --> 01:42:08,891 NEWS ANCHOR 2: A British national, 2266 01:42:08,893 --> 01:42:10,857 Townsend faces deportation if found guilty. 2267 01:42:10,859 --> 01:42:12,789 Although an accomplice to fraud, 2268 01:42:12,791 --> 01:42:14,957 Ms. Nelson is complying with the authorities 2269 01:42:14,959 --> 01:42:16,593 in exchange for clemency. 2270 01:42:19,559 --> 01:42:20,825 SEAN: Stephanie? 2271 01:42:24,758 --> 01:42:26,357 Where's Nicky? 2272 01:42:26,359 --> 01:42:28,427 Oh, he's at a friend's house watching a movie. 2273 01:42:29,758 --> 01:42:31,927 I figured we needed some Mommy and Daddy time. 2274 01:42:33,926 --> 01:42:35,893 Have you forgotten me already? 2275 01:42:36,959 --> 01:42:38,660 You're impossible to forget. 2276 01:42:39,359 --> 01:42:40,526 Thank you. 2277 01:42:42,526 --> 01:42:43,860 (EMILY GIGGLES) 2278 01:42:45,858 --> 01:42:47,857 Oh, please, Sean, I'm not gonna poison you. 2279 01:42:47,859 --> 01:42:50,623 If I wanted to get rid of you, you'd already be dead. 2280 01:42:50,625 --> 01:42:52,426 You put those files in my computer. 2281 01:42:53,025 --> 01:42:55,291 Yes, I did. 2282 01:42:55,293 --> 01:42:56,723 But I did have help from a woman 2283 01:42:56,725 --> 01:42:58,592 who loves volunteering for everything. 2284 01:42:59,459 --> 01:43:00,624 SEAN: Stephanie. 2285 01:43:00,626 --> 01:43:03,257 She's not as sweet as her snatch, is she? 2286 01:43:03,259 --> 01:43:04,991 Were you ever gonna tell me you had a twin sister? 2287 01:43:04,993 --> 01:43:06,357 Wasn't your business. 2288 01:43:06,359 --> 01:43:07,657 I'm your husband! 2289 01:43:07,659 --> 01:43:08,924 You've been fucking my best friend 2290 01:43:08,926 --> 01:43:10,589 in my house, but now you're my husband? 2291 01:43:10,591 --> 01:43:11,757 Okay. 2292 01:43:11,759 --> 01:43:14,390 Then I should probably tell you that we were triplets. 2293 01:43:14,392 --> 01:43:15,589 The details. 2294 01:43:15,591 --> 01:43:16,593 STEPHANIE: Hi, moms! 2295 01:43:17,259 --> 01:43:18,559 Stephanie here. 2296 01:43:19,692 --> 01:43:20,957 I wanna thank you for all the love 2297 01:43:20,959 --> 01:43:22,390 and support you've been sending me. 2298 01:43:22,392 --> 01:43:23,559 Means so much. 2299 01:43:24,326 --> 01:43:25,460 Um... 2300 01:43:26,758 --> 01:43:29,890 You know, as shocked as you guys are 2301 01:43:29,892 --> 01:43:32,522 about these turns of events, 2302 01:43:32,524 --> 01:43:35,257 I can assure you, nobody is more stunned than me. 2303 01:43:35,259 --> 01:43:36,624 Emily had her secrets. 2304 01:43:36,626 --> 01:43:37,856 So did her husband. 2305 01:43:37,858 --> 01:43:40,457 Clearly, I was the naive romantic 2306 01:43:40,459 --> 01:43:42,324 caught in the middle. 2307 01:43:42,326 --> 01:43:44,956 I love you guys. I always will. 2308 01:43:44,958 --> 01:43:45,891 I hope you can forgive me 2309 01:43:45,893 --> 01:43:47,458 in advance for what I have to do. 2310 01:43:47,460 --> 01:43:50,260 Moms, do everything yourself. 2311 01:43:53,659 --> 01:43:54,857 EMILY: Stephanie. 2312 01:43:54,859 --> 01:43:56,391 You shouldn't be here right now. 2313 01:43:56,393 --> 01:43:58,457 I used to live here. Remember? 2314 01:43:58,459 --> 01:43:59,893 Don't make this any hard... Don't move. 2315 01:44:00,725 --> 01:44:01,860 (SCOFFS) 2316 01:44:02,825 --> 01:44:03,924 Stephanie, please. 2317 01:44:03,926 --> 01:44:05,856 You don't even let the boys play with squirt guns. 2318 01:44:05,858 --> 01:44:07,723 That was before you told me you loved me, 2319 01:44:07,725 --> 01:44:09,556 and it turned out you were laughing at me behind my back. 2320 01:44:09,558 --> 01:44:11,590 Stephanie, maybe we should take it down a notch. 2321 01:44:11,592 --> 01:44:13,290 You used me. 2322 01:44:13,292 --> 01:44:14,856 You used me, too. 2323 01:44:14,858 --> 01:44:16,924 But you had me making you dinner, 2324 01:44:16,926 --> 01:44:19,857 watching your kid, and sucking your dick. 2325 01:44:19,859 --> 01:44:21,723 I had no idea that she was still alive. 2326 01:44:21,725 --> 01:44:22,856 Stop lying. 2327 01:44:22,858 --> 01:44:24,623 Okay, you guys, I think we 2328 01:44:24,625 --> 01:44:26,357 should just sit down and talk this out. 2329 01:44:26,359 --> 01:44:28,924 Emily, you sit down. You hated Stephanie. 2330 01:44:28,926 --> 01:44:31,324 You used to watch her vlog and rip her apart. 2331 01:44:31,326 --> 01:44:32,890 All I wanted was to be your friend. 2332 01:44:32,892 --> 01:44:34,624 You were. 2333 01:44:34,626 --> 01:44:35,824 And then you fucked my husband 2334 01:44:35,826 --> 01:44:36,791 and my insurance plan. 2335 01:44:36,793 --> 01:44:39,723 Don't blame her. This is so typical of you. 2336 01:44:39,725 --> 01:44:42,323 Sean, I was just trying to get us out of crushing fucking debt. 2337 01:44:42,325 --> 01:44:44,990 Oh, yeah. Maybe if you had the good sense to give me a call, 2338 01:44:44,992 --> 01:44:46,924 I could've helped you with this little plot of yours. 2339 01:44:46,926 --> 01:44:48,023 Oh, please, you haven't come up 2340 01:44:48,025 --> 01:44:49,290 with a decent plot in 10 years. 2341 01:44:49,292 --> 01:44:50,689 Really? Right now? 2342 01:44:50,691 --> 01:44:53,391 Can I say something, as the lady with the gun? 2343 01:44:53,393 --> 01:44:54,923 Nicky deserves better than both of you. 2344 01:44:54,925 --> 01:44:56,291 Fuck you, I love my kid. 2345 01:44:56,293 --> 01:44:57,493 Shut up. 2346 01:44:58,791 --> 01:45:01,258 Stephanie, put down the gun. 2347 01:45:01,260 --> 01:45:02,690 You don't wanna do this. 2348 01:45:02,692 --> 01:45:04,560 I really do, though. 2349 01:45:06,791 --> 01:45:08,259 I loved you. 2350 01:45:09,659 --> 01:45:10,793 I loved you, too. 2351 01:45:13,592 --> 01:45:14,823 I think this is the best thing. 2352 01:45:14,825 --> 01:45:16,225 (GUN COCKS) Whoa. 2353 01:45:16,227 --> 01:45:18,689 Yeah, we could say he attacked us. They'll believe us, you know? 2354 01:45:18,691 --> 01:45:21,422 No, no, you're not fucking serious. You're not gonna kill him. 2355 01:45:21,424 --> 01:45:23,956 We're just gonna send him to jail. 2356 01:45:23,958 --> 01:45:26,422 Are you serious? Jail's enough for you? 2357 01:45:26,424 --> 01:45:28,624 You don't need to kill him. Aren't you angry? 2358 01:45:28,626 --> 01:45:30,422 Don't you want revenge for your sister? 2359 01:45:30,424 --> 01:45:33,290 Yeah, yes. But he didn't technically kill her. 2360 01:45:33,292 --> 01:45:34,890 Then who did? 2361 01:45:34,892 --> 01:45:37,360 Because I don't buy that it was an accident. 2362 01:45:39,925 --> 01:45:41,493 Screw this. 2363 01:45:42,292 --> 01:45:43,890 (GROANS) (GASPS) 2364 01:45:43,892 --> 01:45:45,523 Oh, my God! 2365 01:45:45,525 --> 01:45:47,489 Fuck. Oh, my God. Jesus. 2366 01:45:47,491 --> 01:45:49,422 Oh, my God. Um... 2367 01:45:49,424 --> 01:45:52,357 Oh, my God! Shit! Is he really dead? 2368 01:45:52,359 --> 01:45:54,889 Sean? I'm sorry. What do I do? 2369 01:45:54,891 --> 01:45:56,492 Do you put pressure on it? 2370 01:45:57,392 --> 01:45:58,490 Do we call an ambulance? 2371 01:45:58,492 --> 01:46:00,890 Do I just let him die? I mean... 2372 01:46:00,892 --> 01:46:02,689 He deserved it, right? 2373 01:46:02,691 --> 01:46:05,589 (CRYING) No, I killed her. I killed my sister. 2374 01:46:05,591 --> 01:46:06,689 What? 2375 01:46:06,691 --> 01:46:08,458 Sean? Sean! 2376 01:46:08,792 --> 01:46:09,793 Get up. 2377 01:46:12,325 --> 01:46:13,990 Show's over, come on. 2378 01:46:13,992 --> 01:46:16,490 Seriously? Come on. Get the fuck up. Hey! 2379 01:46:16,492 --> 01:46:17,956 (SEAN GROANS) You too, Brando. 2380 01:46:17,958 --> 01:46:19,356 Get up! 2381 01:46:19,358 --> 01:46:20,659 Fuck! 2382 01:46:24,892 --> 01:46:25,893 Wow. 2383 01:46:28,392 --> 01:46:30,522 That was extra. 2384 01:46:30,524 --> 01:46:32,690 I mean, obviously, I knew you guys were up to something, 2385 01:46:32,692 --> 01:46:34,291 when I saw both the mics 2386 01:46:34,293 --> 01:46:36,457 that you had the cops plant in here. 2387 01:46:36,459 --> 01:46:38,389 You clearly wanted a confession out of me, 2388 01:46:38,391 --> 01:46:39,956 so you could clear Sean's name. 2389 01:46:39,958 --> 01:46:43,456 But that was a good way to go about it. 2390 01:46:43,458 --> 01:46:45,390 And where you messed up, though, baby girl, 2391 01:46:45,392 --> 01:46:46,890 is thinking that I would confess 2392 01:46:46,892 --> 01:46:49,023 to protect that fucking yeast infection. 2393 01:46:49,025 --> 01:46:50,890 (LAUGHS) Really? All right. 2394 01:46:50,892 --> 01:46:52,956 Come on, you gotta know better than that. 2395 01:46:52,958 --> 01:46:56,422 Oh. But then you came in all emotional with the gun, 2396 01:46:56,424 --> 01:46:59,258 and that was... That was convincing. 2397 01:46:59,260 --> 01:47:00,422 Yeah. 2398 01:47:00,424 --> 01:47:01,423 It was very cinematic. 2399 01:47:01,425 --> 01:47:03,623 I don't even know where you find this shit. 2400 01:47:03,625 --> 01:47:05,024 You're really amazing. 2401 01:47:05,026 --> 01:47:06,560 Thanks. That means a lot. 2402 01:47:07,591 --> 01:47:09,625 But you did confess, Emily. 2403 01:47:10,391 --> 01:47:13,392 Oh. Yeah. Um... 2404 01:47:14,691 --> 01:47:18,024 I did. But I cut these first, though. 2405 01:47:18,026 --> 01:47:20,289 For our friendship bracelets. 2406 01:47:20,291 --> 01:47:21,990 One for you! 2407 01:47:21,992 --> 01:47:25,356 That is disappointing. 2408 01:47:25,358 --> 01:47:28,689 Oh! My God! Look what I found. (SCOFFS) 2409 01:47:28,691 --> 01:47:29,789 (GUN COCKS) 2410 01:47:29,791 --> 01:47:33,824 Okay. You can't shoot us. The police are outside. 2411 01:47:33,826 --> 01:47:36,024 No, they're not. 2412 01:47:36,026 --> 01:47:38,356 (IMITATING) Hey, cops, Stephanie here. 2413 01:47:38,358 --> 01:47:39,423 Change of plans. 2414 01:47:39,425 --> 01:47:41,657 I'm meeting Emily and Sean at Darren's house now. 2415 01:47:41,659 --> 01:47:42,757 I'll see you there. 2416 01:47:42,759 --> 01:47:44,457 You sent them to Darren's house? 2417 01:47:44,459 --> 01:47:46,656 (BONG BUBBLING) It's a virus. 2418 01:47:46,658 --> 01:47:48,923 String theory. String theory, isn't it? 2419 01:47:48,925 --> 01:47:51,889 (WOMEN SCREAM) Hands up! Weapons down! 2420 01:47:51,891 --> 01:47:53,556 No, I have a prescription for that. 2421 01:47:53,558 --> 01:47:55,290 I have ocular pressure! 2422 01:47:55,292 --> 01:47:56,757 Come on, I've been on the run for 10 years. 2423 01:47:56,759 --> 01:47:58,657 You think I don't know how to manipulate the system? 2424 01:47:58,659 --> 01:48:00,624 So you're gonna kill us? 2425 01:48:00,626 --> 01:48:02,590 Well, what the fuck else am I supposed to do? 2426 01:48:02,592 --> 01:48:04,257 You two will clearly go to 2427 01:48:04,259 --> 01:48:05,890 extraordinary lengths to take me down. 2428 01:48:05,892 --> 01:48:07,556 And you know too much. 2429 01:48:07,558 --> 01:48:09,757 So, I feel like a murder-suicide 2430 01:48:09,759 --> 01:48:12,389 is the only fitting end for you two. 2431 01:48:12,391 --> 01:48:13,456 And if you kill him, 2432 01:48:13,458 --> 01:48:15,789 I think our insurance still covers that, right? 2433 01:48:15,791 --> 01:48:17,589 I mean, sort of perfect. 2434 01:48:17,591 --> 01:48:19,390 One door closes and another one opens. 2435 01:48:19,392 --> 01:48:20,724 Thank you for that. 2436 01:48:20,726 --> 01:48:22,824 You always have been fucking crazy, haven't you? 2437 01:48:22,826 --> 01:48:24,358 Have I? 2438 01:48:24,925 --> 01:48:26,689 (SEAN GROANING) 2439 01:48:26,691 --> 01:48:28,489 Oh, shit. You're right. 2440 01:48:28,491 --> 01:48:30,358 God, you fucking... You actually fucking shot me. 2441 01:48:31,292 --> 01:48:32,890 I'm gonna miss him. 2442 01:48:32,892 --> 01:48:33,893 Your turn. 2443 01:48:34,825 --> 01:48:36,923 Emily, come on. 2444 01:48:36,925 --> 01:48:38,689 You're not gonna kill me. 2445 01:48:38,691 --> 01:48:40,956 Oh, yeah. I killed my dad and my sister, 2446 01:48:40,958 --> 01:48:44,656 but I could never kill my husband-fucking best friend. 2447 01:48:44,658 --> 01:48:46,657 Am I really your best friend? 2448 01:48:46,659 --> 01:48:48,823 You're not just saying that for, you know... 2449 01:48:48,825 --> 01:48:50,623 No, no, I'm not just saying that at all. 2450 01:48:50,625 --> 01:48:52,556 I get worried that it's just me. 2451 01:48:52,558 --> 01:48:54,323 I know, sometimes I was worried about that, too. 2452 01:48:54,325 --> 01:48:55,657 (STEPHANIE LAUGHS) (CONTINUES GROANING) 2453 01:48:55,659 --> 01:48:57,423 So hard to connect with other moms. 2454 01:48:57,425 --> 01:48:59,489 And then when you have a full-time job, it's... 2455 01:48:59,491 --> 01:49:01,024 Okay, okay, don't pull that crap. 2456 01:49:01,026 --> 01:49:02,389 Being a mom is a full-time job. 2457 01:49:02,391 --> 01:49:04,289 What I do is hard work. 2458 01:49:04,291 --> 01:49:05,657 And I have my vlog on top of that, 2459 01:49:05,659 --> 01:49:07,389 and that's just getting bigger and bigger. 2460 01:49:07,391 --> 01:49:09,457 If you came on the vlog, that'd be so fun. 2461 01:49:09,459 --> 01:49:10,858 If you came on the vlog 2462 01:49:10,860 --> 01:49:13,757 and confessed to killing your father and sister and held me at gunpoint, 2463 01:49:13,759 --> 01:49:15,389 I could probably hit a million subscribers. 2464 01:49:15,391 --> 01:49:16,956 Aww. That would've been great. 2465 01:49:16,958 --> 01:49:18,325 Why don't we do that right now? 2466 01:49:18,592 --> 01:49:19,590 Hmm? 2467 01:49:19,592 --> 01:49:21,824 We're live streaming. Did you not know that? 2468 01:49:21,826 --> 01:49:23,657 What the fuck are you talking about? 2469 01:49:23,659 --> 01:49:25,193 God, that's so rude, I'm sorry. 2470 01:49:25,826 --> 01:49:27,426 Wave hi to the moms! 2471 01:49:28,626 --> 01:49:30,557 This little gadget. Boop! 2472 01:49:30,559 --> 01:49:32,660 Yeah. They make nanny cams so small these days. 2473 01:49:33,359 --> 01:49:34,757 (SIRENS WAILING) 2474 01:49:34,759 --> 01:49:35,826 Brotherfucker! 2475 01:49:38,725 --> 01:49:40,323 STEPHANIE: Emily! 2476 01:49:40,325 --> 01:49:41,857 Emily, stop! 2477 01:49:41,859 --> 01:49:44,757 Emily, you can't outrun this! Don't do this to Nicky. 2478 01:49:44,759 --> 01:49:46,393 Come on, you're still his mom. 2479 01:49:49,592 --> 01:49:50,593 Yeah, I am. 2480 01:49:51,591 --> 01:49:52,959 But you sure as shit won't be. 2481 01:50:00,658 --> 01:50:02,356 America's hybrids. 2482 01:50:02,358 --> 01:50:04,458 Silent, but deadly. 2483 01:50:08,492 --> 01:50:10,356 I saw you on the vlog. 2484 01:50:10,358 --> 01:50:13,589 You fuck with one of the moms, you fuck with us all. 2485 01:50:13,591 --> 01:50:14,723 (GRUNTS) (GROANS) 2486 01:50:14,725 --> 01:50:16,293 Oh! Emily. 2487 01:50:17,026 --> 01:50:19,289 Stop! Emily. 2488 01:50:19,291 --> 01:50:21,556 This looks super painful. 2489 01:50:21,558 --> 01:50:22,756 Now, sweetie. 2490 01:50:22,758 --> 01:50:25,457 Stop. You've just been hit by a car. 2491 01:50:25,459 --> 01:50:26,889 Don't do this. 2492 01:50:26,891 --> 01:50:29,258 I'm getting worried about your knees right now. 2493 01:50:30,026 --> 01:50:31,693 Just relax. 2494 01:50:37,025 --> 01:50:38,990 I'm sorry. 2495 01:50:38,992 --> 01:50:40,723 I'm not sorry. Oh! 2496 01:50:40,725 --> 01:50:42,192 I'm still working on that. 2497 01:50:46,692 --> 01:50:48,322 Hi, moms! Stephanie here. 2498 01:50:48,324 --> 01:50:49,924 We have very exciting news today 2499 01:50:49,926 --> 01:50:53,024 because we signed up our one millionth subscriber, 2500 01:50:53,026 --> 01:50:56,556 Mrs. Carol Findley of Ames, Iowa! 2501 01:50:56,558 --> 01:50:59,390 Thank you for joining us, Carol. 2502 01:50:59,392 --> 01:51:01,623 You should know, as our newest friend, 2503 01:51:01,625 --> 01:51:03,789 that in addition to my usual helpful tips and recipes, 2504 01:51:03,791 --> 01:51:06,657 I now take on unsolved mysteries. 2505 01:51:06,659 --> 01:51:08,522 Because it turns out I have a nose 2506 01:51:08,524 --> 01:51:10,991 for sniffing out the freshest basil 2507 01:51:10,993 --> 01:51:13,457 and criminals who thought they got away with it. 2508 01:51:13,459 --> 01:51:14,991 So if you have a cold case 2509 01:51:14,993 --> 01:51:16,991 or a mystery that needs to be unraveled, 2510 01:51:16,993 --> 01:51:17,958 you just drop me a line. 2511 01:51:17,960 --> 01:51:19,623 That includes you now, Carol, 2512 01:51:19,625 --> 01:51:21,589 because you're part of the family. 2513 01:51:21,591 --> 01:51:23,890 For now, we're gonna be talking 2514 01:51:23,892 --> 01:51:25,322 about my favorite cold soup, 2515 01:51:25,324 --> 01:51:26,923 gazpacho! 2516 01:51:26,925 --> 01:51:27,923 Which is normally gross, but we're not gonna make it gross. 2517 01:51:27,925 --> 01:51:29,522 Right, guys? It's gonna be great. 2518 01:51:29,524 --> 01:51:31,525 (FRENCH RAP SONG PLAYING) 2519 01:52:15,024 --> 01:52:17,293 (LAUGHS) In your ass! 2520 01:52:18,000 --> 01:52:22,222 Subtitles by explosiveskull Colored by novabros