1 00:03:10,698 --> 00:03:12,757 Many centuries ago... 2 00:03:12,967 --> 00:03:15,401 ...a remarkable family began to practice... 3 00:03:15,603 --> 00:03:18,401 ...the magical art of disguise. 4 00:03:18,606 --> 00:03:22,007 Down through the ages they worked in secret... 5 00:03:22,243 --> 00:03:25,303 ...protecting the world from evil. 6 00:03:25,579 --> 00:03:28,275 This is their story. 7 00:03:46,367 --> 00:03:48,028 WeII, stop her! 8 00:03:52,873 --> 00:03:54,841 This is my son. 9 00:03:56,243 --> 00:03:59,644 Most people thought he sold vacuum cleaners door to door. 10 00:03:59,847 --> 00:04:03,476 But as you can see, there was more to the story. 11 00:04:03,818 --> 00:04:06,548 Where do you think you're going? 12 00:04:19,300 --> 00:04:20,665 Idiot. 13 00:04:30,644 --> 00:04:33,477 This is a mistake. That woman is not Bo Derek! 14 00:04:34,648 --> 00:04:36,775 That was cIose. 15 00:04:45,393 --> 00:04:47,190 Too cIose. 16 00:04:47,895 --> 00:04:51,592 I demand to speak to the American Embassy! 17 00:04:52,600 --> 00:04:56,593 Frabbrizio, it's time your son is toId of his destiny. 18 00:04:56,804 --> 00:04:59,568 This is no Iife for my son. 19 00:04:59,807 --> 00:05:03,675 I wiII never teII him of his true destiny. 20 00:05:14,755 --> 00:05:19,249 Frabbrizio decided to keep the family legacy a secret from his son. 21 00:05:19,460 --> 00:05:23,726 The boy never knew the truth about his urge to disguise himself... 22 00:05:23,931 --> 00:05:26,729 ...with anything he could find. 23 00:05:26,901 --> 00:05:29,631 Pistachio, I hope you're not making faces... 24 00:05:29,837 --> 00:05:32,897 ...in the mirror with the underwear on the head. 25 00:05:33,107 --> 00:05:35,337 That wouId be crazy, Papa. 26 00:05:36,143 --> 00:05:40,546 UnIess I had the shaving-cream beard to go aIong with it. 27 00:05:40,748 --> 00:05:46,448 This is my grandson Pistachio. He has always been a little different. 28 00:05:49,657 --> 00:05:53,423 From the beginning, he had impulses he couldn't control. 29 00:05:53,627 --> 00:05:55,857 You sIap me, I sIap you. 30 00:05:56,130 --> 00:06:00,430 As Pistachio grew up, he couldn't help mimicking people around him. 31 00:06:00,634 --> 00:06:03,933 Add the copper suIfate. 32 00:06:04,138 --> 00:06:06,436 Add the copper suIfate. 33 00:06:06,640 --> 00:06:11,236 Add just a IittIe bit of IuminoI. 34 00:06:11,445 --> 00:06:14,744 Add just a IittIe bit of IuminoI. 35 00:06:21,188 --> 00:06:25,386 But he always had a hard time fitting in. 36 00:06:26,494 --> 00:06:29,486 You think you got muscIes now? Try this. 37 00:06:29,663 --> 00:06:30,789 Okay. 38 00:06:34,635 --> 00:06:37,297 Why does he have underwear on his head? 39 00:06:37,471 --> 00:06:42,408 What he didn't know was that his true adventure was about to begin. 40 00:06:43,944 --> 00:06:47,038 There's a young Iady out here to see you. 41 00:06:47,214 --> 00:06:49,910 For me? Fantastico! 42 00:06:50,117 --> 00:06:51,846 Yes! Yes! 43 00:06:52,720 --> 00:06:54,688 A young Iady. 44 00:06:56,023 --> 00:06:57,650 Hey, amico! 45 00:06:58,025 --> 00:07:00,425 There's a girI waiting for me! 46 00:07:01,061 --> 00:07:02,653 Mama! 47 00:07:02,830 --> 00:07:09,235 Ask your nice Iady friend to come in, and I'II make you corned beef ravioIi. 48 00:07:09,436 --> 00:07:11,870 What a grand idea, Mama! 49 00:07:12,940 --> 00:07:16,467 Oh, my sonny-son, handsome son. Go, go, go. 50 00:07:19,680 --> 00:07:24,447 Naturally, Pistachio wanted to find a girljust like Mama. 51 00:07:31,058 --> 00:07:34,994 Sophia. What an unexpected surprise, Iove-cake. 52 00:07:35,529 --> 00:07:39,556 -''Love-cake''? -I so enjoyed meeting you Iast evening. 53 00:07:39,767 --> 00:07:44,761 I know we had some Iaughs at the bar Iast night, but you're not my type. 54 00:07:45,005 --> 00:07:49,465 Besides, I have a boyfriend. So don't caII me, okay? I gotta go. 55 00:07:50,911 --> 00:07:52,276 Yes. 56 00:07:52,780 --> 00:07:56,477 Something about her reminds me of my mama. 57 00:07:57,785 --> 00:08:00,754 Oh, yes. She wiII be a great cook. 58 00:08:01,755 --> 00:08:03,222 Papa. 59 00:08:06,627 --> 00:08:08,492 I straighten the menu. 60 00:08:17,638 --> 00:08:19,071 I'm okay. I'm okay. 61 00:08:20,441 --> 00:08:21,601 Excuse, young man. 62 00:08:21,809 --> 00:08:26,542 I notice that you became acquainted with the sidewaIk a moment ago. 63 00:08:26,747 --> 00:08:28,305 I'm not a sports kid. 64 00:08:28,515 --> 00:08:32,417 Pistachio, do one of your funny voices and cheer the kid up. 65 00:08:32,620 --> 00:08:36,056 What an exceIIent idea, Bernardo. Yes, yes. 66 00:08:36,257 --> 00:08:40,250 I do for you now a scene from the hit motion picture Shrek. 67 00:08:40,461 --> 00:08:41,792 You ready? Okay. 68 00:08:42,329 --> 00:08:45,389 Why don't you get away from me, Donkey? 69 00:08:45,566 --> 00:08:50,936 What you taIking about, ''Get away from you''? I'm making waffIes. 70 00:08:55,542 --> 00:08:57,737 Oh, what a cute IittIe puppy. 71 00:08:58,445 --> 00:09:02,905 I see you Iike my dog. His name is The Cuteness. 72 00:09:03,117 --> 00:09:04,414 I never had a dog. 73 00:09:04,618 --> 00:09:07,678 WeII, perhaps your papa wiII buy you a dog. 74 00:09:08,155 --> 00:09:09,679 I never had a dad. 75 00:09:13,327 --> 00:09:15,192 Papa deficient, yes. 76 00:09:15,629 --> 00:09:19,190 You can pIay with The Cuteness any time you want. 77 00:09:21,201 --> 00:09:24,864 Let me introduce myseIf. My name's Pistachio Disguisey. 78 00:09:25,072 --> 00:09:28,439 -My name's Barney Baker. -A pIeasure, Barney Baker. 79 00:09:29,143 --> 00:09:31,703 And now, hungry patrons. 80 00:09:31,945 --> 00:09:33,310 Arrivederci! 81 00:09:52,666 --> 00:09:56,329 Moron, use a tray next time. Those are too many pIates. 82 00:09:56,537 --> 00:09:59,028 Ah, the new waiter, Rex. 83 00:09:59,473 --> 00:10:01,998 So cute in your inexperience. 84 00:10:02,209 --> 00:10:05,610 Watch and Iearn, my friend. 85 00:10:16,056 --> 00:10:18,889 Yes, I cIean. I cIean. 86 00:10:19,927 --> 00:10:22,122 Goodbye, gooey sauce. 87 00:10:26,133 --> 00:10:31,036 Cheese? Yes, I give you cheese. Yes, nice cheese. Yes, cheese. 88 00:10:31,238 --> 00:10:33,229 You Iike, huh? Oh, yes. 89 00:10:36,343 --> 00:10:38,004 Papa. 90 00:10:40,147 --> 00:10:43,844 And finaIIy, we have fresh, bouncing baby shrimp. 91 00:10:44,051 --> 00:10:46,519 I'II just take the spaghetti. 92 00:10:46,720 --> 00:10:52,158 And do me a favor, buddy. Get me some man-sized meatbaIIs. 93 00:10:56,296 --> 00:11:00,596 Am I going too fast for you? 94 00:11:01,969 --> 00:11:06,167 Am I going too fast for you? 95 00:11:07,474 --> 00:11:09,669 -You mocking him? -You mocking him? 96 00:11:09,843 --> 00:11:12,903 -You better not be. -You better not be. 97 00:11:14,581 --> 00:11:19,541 -Pistachio, stop it. No mocking. -Pistachio, stop it. No mocking. 98 00:11:19,753 --> 00:11:23,450 Why do you Iet that IittIe nutbaII be a waiter? 99 00:11:23,690 --> 00:11:28,389 Listen. You have a probIem with my son, then you have a probIem with me. 100 00:11:28,562 --> 00:11:33,465 You are not weIcome here. You, and you, get out! 101 00:11:34,568 --> 00:11:37,002 Pistachio, what did I teII you? 102 00:11:37,204 --> 00:11:41,106 Yes, I know, Papa. I'm sorry. I couIdn't heIp myseIf. 103 00:11:41,275 --> 00:11:44,073 -The mocking's getting worse. -Nonsense. 104 00:11:44,244 --> 00:11:48,010 There's so many voices in my head I don't know who I am. 105 00:11:48,215 --> 00:11:52,481 Listen. You are Pistachio Disguisey, and you're a great waiter. 106 00:11:52,653 --> 00:11:55,781 That is one of the voices. Not the Ioudest one-- 107 00:11:55,956 --> 00:11:59,517 No. You are my son, you understand? 108 00:11:59,726 --> 00:12:04,595 And I wiII aIways be proud of you. 109 00:12:04,798 --> 00:12:09,497 -We shouId have gone to Burger King. -Perhaps my destiny is far away. 110 00:12:09,670 --> 00:12:13,936 No, my son. Your destiny is here, okay? 111 00:12:14,107 --> 00:12:16,337 Yes, destiny is here. 112 00:12:16,510 --> 00:12:21,345 But, Papa, don't preach. I'm in troubIe deep, and I'm keeping my baby. 113 00:12:23,317 --> 00:12:25,251 -You're what? -What? 114 00:12:35,262 --> 00:12:39,995 Excuse, waiter Rex. What are you doing with your arm around the cake? 115 00:12:40,200 --> 00:12:44,728 The tush queen, what are you doing out here with the oversized Rex? 116 00:12:44,905 --> 00:12:48,397 Look, Pistachios, the siIIy voices, the making faces... 117 00:12:48,575 --> 00:12:51,840 -...it was fun for one second, okay? -OnIy one second? 118 00:12:52,012 --> 00:12:55,573 I never wanted to go out with youse! I Iove Rex. 119 00:12:55,849 --> 00:12:58,044 Yeah, got it? 120 00:13:00,087 --> 00:13:02,783 I see. I can take a hint. 121 00:13:03,156 --> 00:13:07,820 The message is coming through Ioud and cIear. 122 00:13:08,362 --> 00:13:11,593 -I gotta get back to work, baby. -Okay. 123 00:13:11,832 --> 00:13:13,891 Goodbye, Pistachios. 124 00:13:27,080 --> 00:13:29,412 Get in the car, huh? 125 00:13:30,417 --> 00:13:35,320 Oh, my IittIe cannoIi. You'II make my Pistachio very happy. 126 00:13:36,456 --> 00:13:39,254 Get in the car now! Get him in there! 127 00:13:42,262 --> 00:13:43,593 Let's go! 128 00:13:48,936 --> 00:13:50,198 Ransacked! 129 00:13:50,404 --> 00:13:54,204 HeIIo? PoIice? In my home, it is fuII of ransackery. 130 00:13:54,408 --> 00:13:56,433 Everything different. Where--? 131 00:13:56,643 --> 00:13:59,578 My name is Pistachio. Mama's cannoIi is here. 132 00:13:59,780 --> 00:14:01,941 Don't call again. 133 00:14:02,649 --> 00:14:04,139 Mama! Papa! 134 00:14:04,451 --> 00:14:08,820 HeavenIy Father, show me a sign. I promise I'II never mock you again. 135 00:14:08,989 --> 00:14:12,447 My famiIy is missing, and I don't know what to do. 136 00:14:12,626 --> 00:14:18,656 I don't know what to do. I don't know what to do. I don't know.... 137 00:14:40,787 --> 00:14:42,482 Can I heIp you? 138 00:14:42,656 --> 00:14:45,955 -I came to heIp you, Pistachio. -HeIp me what? 139 00:14:46,126 --> 00:14:49,186 Find your mother and your father. My son. 140 00:14:49,696 --> 00:14:51,186 My father... 141 00:14:51,398 --> 00:14:53,332 ...your son. 142 00:14:53,500 --> 00:14:55,991 HoIy cannoIi, you are my sister. 143 00:14:57,804 --> 00:15:01,934 You don't have a sister, pea brain. I'm your grandfather. 144 00:15:02,142 --> 00:15:04,133 Yes, that was my next choice. 145 00:15:04,311 --> 00:15:07,405 It's been 23 years. How did you know I needed heIp? 146 00:15:07,648 --> 00:15:14,110 That and more wiII be reveaIed shortIy. But for now, Iet me in. I hunger. 147 00:15:15,122 --> 00:15:18,057 So I come down from the rooftop. I come home. 148 00:15:18,291 --> 00:15:22,489 And there's no Mama, no Papa, just ransackery. 149 00:15:22,963 --> 00:15:25,830 -Did you ask Jeeves? -Yes, but no such Iuck. 150 00:15:25,999 --> 00:15:30,436 On the roof, did you hear something that sounded Iike this: 151 00:15:31,338 --> 00:15:33,806 Yes, exactIy that! 152 00:15:33,974 --> 00:15:37,034 But without the pain on my face. 153 00:15:37,244 --> 00:15:39,508 We have a cIue! 154 00:15:46,386 --> 00:15:48,354 Grandpapa? 155 00:15:50,857 --> 00:15:55,226 -I'm Iooking for my grandfather. -Grandfather not here. 156 00:15:56,263 --> 00:15:57,594 I'm sorry. 157 00:15:58,598 --> 00:16:00,361 It's me, you idiot! 158 00:16:01,168 --> 00:16:03,534 Amazing. You sound Iike Grandfather. 159 00:16:03,737 --> 00:16:06,968 FooI! I am your grandfather. 160 00:16:08,608 --> 00:16:10,098 I don't.... 161 00:16:15,415 --> 00:16:17,576 Latex rubber. 162 00:16:17,784 --> 00:16:20,344 Yes. It's so soft. 163 00:16:20,520 --> 00:16:24,354 Like a soft, fat baby-bottom face. 164 00:16:24,791 --> 00:16:27,282 This is nothing. I'm rusty! 165 00:16:27,494 --> 00:16:32,522 When I'm on the top of my game, my disguise is seamIess! 166 00:16:32,866 --> 00:16:35,699 Yes, without the seams. 167 00:16:36,937 --> 00:16:40,304 And the pIace is so incredibIy cIean. 168 00:16:40,507 --> 00:16:42,407 So tidy. 169 00:16:42,809 --> 00:16:45,107 Bravo, Grandpa! 170 00:16:45,812 --> 00:16:50,442 Put a cIamp on your pastry hoIe. I'II give it to you straight. 171 00:16:51,051 --> 00:16:55,078 -You are a Disguisey. -Yes, Pistachio Disguisey. 172 00:16:55,288 --> 00:16:58,587 I'm begging you, curb your yammering skuII cave! 173 00:16:58,759 --> 00:17:01,227 Now, throughout history... 174 00:17:01,394 --> 00:17:05,262 ...the Disguiseys used their skiIIs as Masters of Disguise... 175 00:17:05,432 --> 00:17:08,299 ...for the betterment of mankind. 176 00:17:08,468 --> 00:17:12,461 In Europe, they used their power to catch thieves. 177 00:17:12,639 --> 00:17:15,802 Now I've got it. It's mine. 178 00:17:15,976 --> 00:17:17,967 The statue is aIive! 179 00:17:18,445 --> 00:17:21,346 They were the world's first environmentalists. 180 00:17:21,548 --> 00:17:25,746 Sorry, George Washington, no cherry tree for you. 181 00:17:27,821 --> 00:17:30,654 Abraham Lincoln was such a boring speaker... 182 00:17:30,991 --> 00:17:35,758 ...that the Disguiseys had to help him get elected president. 183 00:17:36,696 --> 00:17:40,860 If you'II excuse me, I just need a drink of water. 184 00:17:41,101 --> 00:17:42,762 Rough crowd. 185 00:17:44,504 --> 00:17:48,201 Let's party! Hit it, boys! 186 00:17:50,610 --> 00:17:54,273 Vote for me, we'II get funky this year! 187 00:17:58,785 --> 00:18:01,151 This is your Iegacy, Pistachio. 188 00:18:01,321 --> 00:18:05,155 These are your peopIe, and you are one of them. 189 00:18:05,325 --> 00:18:07,225 But Papa runs a restaurant. 190 00:18:07,394 --> 00:18:11,057 Your father was the worId's greatest Master of Disguise. 191 00:18:11,231 --> 00:18:13,131 But Papa runs a restaurant. 192 00:18:13,300 --> 00:18:18,465 This is what you are doing. This is what I want you to do. Any questions? 193 00:18:19,406 --> 00:18:22,000 Your parents, despite my objections... 194 00:18:22,175 --> 00:18:25,076 ...insisted on keeping the Iegacy a secret. 195 00:18:25,245 --> 00:18:29,113 -That's why we haven't spoken in years. -But my papa-- 196 00:18:33,887 --> 00:18:37,379 It is time for you to find your father and mother. 197 00:18:37,991 --> 00:18:41,859 You mean, we wiII find my father and my mother. 198 00:18:42,062 --> 00:18:44,758 -ImpossibIe. Sorry. -But why? 199 00:18:44,931 --> 00:18:49,391 This is the sacred book of the Disguisey way. 200 00:18:50,337 --> 00:18:52,237 Like a Boy Scout handbook? 201 00:18:53,039 --> 00:18:57,442 You cannot compare this book to anything eIse known to man. 202 00:19:02,148 --> 00:19:03,945 It's a pop-up! 203 00:19:05,952 --> 00:19:08,182 ''If a father and mother are missing... 204 00:19:08,355 --> 00:19:13,019 ...onIy a son who has become a Master of Disguise can save them... 205 00:19:13,193 --> 00:19:17,687 ...without any direct heIp from the grandfather.'' 206 00:19:17,864 --> 00:19:20,560 That's one specific farmer. 207 00:19:20,767 --> 00:19:25,431 -Now I must find your father's nest. -Come again? A ''nest''? 208 00:19:25,672 --> 00:19:29,403 Is there a pIace your father goes to spend time by himseIf... 209 00:19:29,576 --> 00:19:34,479 -...that is dark, that is secretive? -The attic is dark and secretive. 210 00:19:34,981 --> 00:19:38,246 Show me this attic. 211 00:19:38,718 --> 00:19:40,447 So, Grandpa... 212 00:19:40,620 --> 00:19:42,679 ...this is the attic. 213 00:19:42,889 --> 00:19:46,985 This is a pretty ordinary attic. There's nothing-- 214 00:19:51,197 --> 00:19:53,290 What? What? What? What? 215 00:19:54,768 --> 00:19:57,601 A magic baII. 216 00:20:39,112 --> 00:20:42,548 BehoId your father's nest. 217 00:20:42,749 --> 00:20:44,307 Heavens to Betsy. 218 00:20:44,484 --> 00:20:48,443 Yes. I knew he wouId keep one, just in case. 219 00:20:48,621 --> 00:20:49,952 Yes. Just in case. 220 00:20:50,123 --> 00:20:52,455 Now you'II be a Master of Disguise. 221 00:20:52,625 --> 00:20:55,458 ReaIIy? A Master of Disguise? 222 00:20:55,628 --> 00:21:00,065 I'm going to be a Master of Disguise I'm going to be a Master of Disguise 223 00:21:00,233 --> 00:21:04,465 Enough! Your mother and father are in grave danger. 224 00:21:04,637 --> 00:21:07,902 Your training begins... 225 00:21:08,074 --> 00:21:10,474 ...now! 226 00:21:34,501 --> 00:21:37,334 BriIIiant. You are disguised as a fatty. 227 00:21:42,208 --> 00:21:44,073 What is happening? 228 00:21:44,377 --> 00:21:45,901 I'm getting bigger. 229 00:21:46,546 --> 00:21:48,844 -I got so fat. -Pistachio! 230 00:22:25,785 --> 00:22:27,218 Remember me? 231 00:22:29,656 --> 00:22:31,453 DevIin Bowman? 232 00:22:32,592 --> 00:22:36,392 We both know you were the woman, that night in PaIermo. 233 00:22:36,896 --> 00:22:41,094 Because of you, I spent 20 years in prison. 234 00:22:45,472 --> 00:22:48,066 Thanks to a potion in the carameI corn... 235 00:22:48,241 --> 00:22:52,837 ...she thinks she's stiII at home preparing dinner. But we know better. 236 00:22:53,012 --> 00:22:54,741 Don't we? 237 00:22:55,748 --> 00:22:58,080 Oh, my goodness! 238 00:22:58,952 --> 00:23:00,317 Okay, okay. Stop. 239 00:23:04,290 --> 00:23:05,917 We'II have soup today. 240 00:23:06,126 --> 00:23:10,586 You're right. I was Bo Derek that night in PaIermo. 241 00:23:10,797 --> 00:23:14,324 -What do you want? -I want you to drop your pizza apron... 242 00:23:14,501 --> 00:23:16,867 ...become a Master of Disguise again... 243 00:23:17,036 --> 00:23:21,405 ...and heIp me obtain the worId's rarest treasures. 244 00:23:21,608 --> 00:23:24,668 You're a sick man, Bowman. 245 00:23:36,022 --> 00:23:38,047 -Are the teeth in? -Yes. 246 00:23:38,291 --> 00:23:40,350 Good. Here, and here. 247 00:23:40,560 --> 00:23:44,326 There's minimaI adhesive spiIIage. That's not bad. 248 00:23:44,531 --> 00:23:48,558 Good. Now aII I have to do is disguise my voice, right? 249 00:23:48,735 --> 00:23:52,535 Open sesame. Open sesame. 250 00:23:53,640 --> 00:23:55,505 Stop that! 251 00:23:55,875 --> 00:24:02,041 Buffoon! CIown! Anyone can put on a disguise and change his voice. 252 00:24:02,215 --> 00:24:05,878 But you said that was the secret power of the Disguiseys. 253 00:24:06,252 --> 00:24:11,349 Not exactIy. It's time for you to Iearn about the invisibIe energy fieId... 254 00:24:11,524 --> 00:24:14,823 ...that bonds aII Disguiseys, past and present. 255 00:24:15,061 --> 00:24:16,653 It is caIIed: 256 00:24:16,996 --> 00:24:21,023 -Energico. -Energico. 257 00:24:21,201 --> 00:24:26,764 When you Iearn to tap into Energico, you'II access words, skiIIs, ideas... 258 00:24:26,973 --> 00:24:30,067 ...that you never dreamed possibIe. 259 00:24:30,243 --> 00:24:33,735 You'II be abIe to act and feeI Iike another person. 260 00:24:33,913 --> 00:24:35,710 You wiII become... 261 00:24:35,882 --> 00:24:38,578 ...another person. 262 00:24:39,252 --> 00:24:41,584 Become another person. 263 00:24:41,921 --> 00:24:45,254 But first, you must repeat the mantra: 264 00:24:45,425 --> 00:24:48,986 Become another person. 265 00:24:49,195 --> 00:24:52,255 -''Become another person.'' Nothing. -Again. 266 00:24:52,432 --> 00:24:54,423 -Become another person. -Repeat. 267 00:24:54,601 --> 00:24:57,468 Become another person. Become another person. 268 00:24:57,637 --> 00:25:00,868 Become another person. 269 00:25:01,040 --> 00:25:03,600 Good. Who are you now? 270 00:25:03,810 --> 00:25:05,778 The question is, who are you? 271 00:25:05,945 --> 00:25:09,278 I'm Prince LaIi Jhamba from the Ringy Dingy Heights... 272 00:25:09,449 --> 00:25:13,510 ...near Bombay, CaIcutta and New DeIhi, India. India. India. 273 00:25:13,720 --> 00:25:17,019 It is time to test that. 274 00:25:17,557 --> 00:25:19,582 What is it? 275 00:25:20,159 --> 00:25:23,788 That is a big reptiIe. Not a probIem. 276 00:25:35,942 --> 00:25:40,311 Oh, yes. He wouIdn't hurt anybody now. 277 00:25:40,546 --> 00:25:43,413 I'm going to caII him Buttercup. 278 00:25:43,583 --> 00:25:45,642 So cute, eh? 279 00:25:47,654 --> 00:25:50,782 TickIe-tickIe-tickIe-tickIe. 280 00:25:51,324 --> 00:25:53,656 Energico. 281 00:25:53,826 --> 00:25:55,453 God heIp me, I Iove it. 282 00:25:56,863 --> 00:25:59,661 -Down, boy. -A compIete transformation. 283 00:26:01,634 --> 00:26:06,162 You Iike the cheese. Go get the cheese. You know you Iove it. 284 00:26:07,206 --> 00:26:12,508 Now, sometimes during your traveIs, you may be required to defend yourseIf. 285 00:26:12,679 --> 00:26:16,376 Disguiseys don't beIieve in hitting with a cIosed fist. 286 00:26:16,582 --> 00:26:18,846 AIways hit with an open hand. 287 00:26:19,018 --> 00:26:22,112 Make your point, but give the man his dignity. 288 00:26:22,288 --> 00:26:24,347 -Dignity. -Observe. 289 00:26:29,696 --> 00:26:32,563 EIbows in, extend. 290 00:26:32,732 --> 00:26:36,498 -Now you try. -EIbow in, extend. 291 00:26:38,471 --> 00:26:40,371 Okay, sIappy-dummy man. 292 00:26:41,741 --> 00:26:44,642 WeII, I think I've got-- 293 00:26:45,178 --> 00:26:46,372 Pistachio, no. 294 00:26:46,546 --> 00:26:50,880 Learn to empty your mind. AIIow Energico to fIow through you. 295 00:26:51,050 --> 00:26:56,545 -Is there a mantra for the hitting? -No! But to demoraIize your opponent... 296 00:26:56,723 --> 00:27:00,557 ...repeat the phrase, ''Who's your daddy?'' in mid-sIap. 297 00:27:00,727 --> 00:27:02,490 Watch. 298 00:27:02,762 --> 00:27:06,528 Who's your daddy? Who's your daddy? Who's your daddy? 299 00:27:11,771 --> 00:27:14,399 Thanks for Ietting me borrow the Constitution. 300 00:27:14,640 --> 00:27:17,905 You're MichaeI Johnson, the fastest man aIive. 301 00:27:18,077 --> 00:27:21,376 -You ready? -Yes, sir, Mr. Johnson. 302 00:27:22,181 --> 00:27:23,910 Go! 303 00:27:28,187 --> 00:27:29,916 Thanks, guys! 304 00:27:30,189 --> 00:27:33,181 You shouId read this, Bowman. 305 00:27:34,026 --> 00:27:36,051 You might Iearn something. 306 00:27:36,229 --> 00:27:39,926 I Iove having a Master of Disguise do my bidding. 307 00:27:40,099 --> 00:27:42,067 That's it. 308 00:27:42,602 --> 00:27:44,866 Have you forgotten something? 309 00:27:45,104 --> 00:27:48,562 My men are ready to pounce on my command. 310 00:27:48,741 --> 00:27:51,767 -No more. PIease, stop. -AII right, aII right. 311 00:28:18,771 --> 00:28:21,399 Okay, so you want to pIay games? 312 00:28:21,574 --> 00:28:23,303 Let's pIay games. 313 00:28:26,612 --> 00:28:29,080 Who is your daddy? 314 00:28:29,282 --> 00:28:32,308 I'm your daddy. I'm your daddy. I'm your daddy.... 315 00:28:46,933 --> 00:28:49,629 She couId be a good wife for you. 316 00:28:54,841 --> 00:28:57,810 WeII, am I truIy a Master of Disguise now? 317 00:28:58,377 --> 00:29:02,040 Not exactIy. You're a IeveI-one apprentice. White beIt. 318 00:29:02,248 --> 00:29:06,014 Yes! ''LeveI one.'' I Iike the sound of that one. 319 00:29:06,185 --> 00:29:09,643 -How many IeveIs are there? -Seven thousand. 320 00:29:10,189 --> 00:29:15,650 -That's many coIored beIts. -Yes, you're a rookie. 321 00:29:16,362 --> 00:29:19,195 Listen. It is a Disguisey tradition... 322 00:29:19,398 --> 00:29:22,834 ...at this point in time, we hire you an assistant. 323 00:29:23,035 --> 00:29:26,698 An assistant? Yes, I am going to get an assistant. 324 00:29:26,873 --> 00:29:31,173 -I was secretary for Jensen and Loeb-- -Get out! 325 00:29:31,344 --> 00:29:33,869 -I beg your pardon? -Out! Now! 326 00:29:36,182 --> 00:29:37,547 Get out. 327 00:29:38,017 --> 00:29:39,484 What are you doing here? 328 00:29:39,652 --> 00:29:40,676 History! 329 00:29:40,887 --> 00:29:42,286 Wrong! Take her away. 330 00:29:42,488 --> 00:29:45,013 Get out. Idiot! Get out! 331 00:29:45,925 --> 00:29:47,085 Freak. Get out! 332 00:29:47,326 --> 00:29:50,090 Freak. Get out! Freak. Out! Out! 333 00:29:50,396 --> 00:29:52,523 Fifty appIicants. 334 00:29:52,698 --> 00:29:55,792 -Fifty Iosers. -Yes. 335 00:29:56,536 --> 00:30:02,065 Perhaps my destiny does not come with an assistant. 336 00:30:03,609 --> 00:30:06,339 I'm okay. I'm okay. 337 00:30:06,846 --> 00:30:11,579 You too young for this job. Go home and change your diaper. Get out! 338 00:30:11,751 --> 00:30:13,241 I don't wear a diaper. 339 00:30:13,452 --> 00:30:17,047 Pistachio. Come see. There's a taIking baby here. 340 00:30:17,223 --> 00:30:20,681 I want to see the taIking baby. 341 00:30:20,860 --> 00:30:23,192 Brave Barney, good to see you. 342 00:30:23,396 --> 00:30:25,523 -You know this baby? -Of course. 343 00:30:25,731 --> 00:30:29,030 -I was potty trained when I was 2. -Of course. 344 00:30:29,201 --> 00:30:32,693 You are the conductor of the potty train. 345 00:30:32,872 --> 00:30:35,636 Barney. Is this the pIace? 346 00:30:35,841 --> 00:30:38,935 I just came from a yoga cIass. I hope that's okay. 347 00:30:39,111 --> 00:30:41,773 Grandpa, this is Barney and.... 348 00:30:41,948 --> 00:30:45,611 -I'm his mom, Jennifer. Hi. -Jennifer. A pIeasure, yes. 349 00:30:47,153 --> 00:30:51,715 Sweetie, go practice your oIIies, and I'II see you Iater, okay? 350 00:30:51,891 --> 00:30:53,791 PIease, come in. 351 00:30:54,894 --> 00:30:58,591 -Measurements. -Measurements? What for? 352 00:30:58,798 --> 00:31:01,767 -It's for a uniform. -Oh, yeah. Okay. 353 00:31:02,001 --> 00:31:04,799 It's 35-24-34. 354 00:31:05,905 --> 00:31:09,306 -You said 34? -A IittIe bottom. 355 00:31:13,012 --> 00:31:17,676 I don't know if I'm right for this. Barney said you were Iooking.... 356 00:31:17,917 --> 00:31:22,411 I'm sorry, he's onIy 7. He thinks your name is Pistachio. 357 00:31:22,622 --> 00:31:25,113 That is my name. 358 00:31:25,291 --> 00:31:26,758 WeII, that's nice. 359 00:31:27,927 --> 00:31:31,658 So okay. What is the job? What exactIy do you guys do? 360 00:31:31,831 --> 00:31:35,858 I am a Master of Disguise. He is aIso a Master of Disguise. 361 00:31:36,035 --> 00:31:39,027 TechnicaIIy, he's a IeveI-one apprentice. 362 00:31:39,271 --> 00:31:41,967 ''Master of Disguise''? I don't get it. 363 00:31:42,341 --> 00:31:46,175 You got a probIem with the word ''master,'' or ''disguise''? 364 00:31:46,345 --> 00:31:49,337 Or the word ''of''? 365 00:31:49,515 --> 00:31:52,006 WeII, what wouId I have to do? 366 00:31:52,184 --> 00:31:54,118 What does she have to do? 367 00:31:54,286 --> 00:31:59,189 Not so fast. Answer me this first: Do you foId easiIy under pressure? 368 00:31:59,358 --> 00:32:01,292 What kind of pressure? 369 00:32:01,527 --> 00:32:05,554 -The kind that makes you cry. -Like a IittIe baby in its crib. 370 00:32:05,731 --> 00:32:09,462 -What's it pay? -Pay? Paid in honor, dignity, pride. 371 00:32:09,635 --> 00:32:12,729 Honor, dignity, pride...in its crib. 372 00:32:13,039 --> 00:32:14,870 ActuaIIy, I need cash. 373 00:32:16,175 --> 00:32:18,973 This cat has cIaws. 374 00:32:19,145 --> 00:32:21,204 -Me Iikey. -Me Iikey too. 375 00:32:21,447 --> 00:32:24,245 But this cat's got no Mama caboose. 376 00:32:24,450 --> 00:32:28,011 You guys know I can hear you, right? 377 00:32:47,773 --> 00:32:50,606 It pays $41 7 a week, pIus DeIta DentaI. 378 00:32:50,843 --> 00:32:53,437 -I'II take it. -It's yours. But hear me. 379 00:32:53,612 --> 00:32:57,104 Assistants faII in Iove with their Disguisey masters. 380 00:32:57,283 --> 00:33:00,218 Can you resist Pistachio? 381 00:33:00,386 --> 00:33:02,081 Yes... 382 00:33:02,254 --> 00:33:05,052 ...can you resist me? 383 00:33:10,529 --> 00:33:13,259 So Iisten to me true, Pistachio. 384 00:33:13,432 --> 00:33:16,697 You are now a IeveI 1 .5 apprentice. 385 00:33:16,902 --> 00:33:20,861 Without your heIp, how wiII I know what to disguise myseIf as? 386 00:33:21,040 --> 00:33:25,602 Listen to your Disguisey instincts. Answer these questions for yourseIf: 387 00:33:25,778 --> 00:33:29,908 Who, why, where, how wouId they take your mother and father? 388 00:33:30,116 --> 00:33:32,584 Yes. Who, why, where and why? 389 00:33:32,752 --> 00:33:36,153 No, wrong! Who, why, where and how? 390 00:33:36,322 --> 00:33:39,257 Oh, yes. Who, why, what? 391 00:33:39,425 --> 00:33:44,829 -What and what and what and what? -What? Wrong! Who, why, where, how? 392 00:33:45,030 --> 00:33:49,660 -Yes. Who, why, where, how? -That's it! You got it! 393 00:33:49,835 --> 00:33:52,167 Yes! Who, why, where, how? 394 00:33:52,338 --> 00:33:55,102 I say, who, why, where, how? 395 00:33:55,274 --> 00:33:57,970 I say, who, why, where, how? 396 00:33:58,144 --> 00:34:01,477 I say, who, why, where, how? 397 00:34:03,249 --> 00:34:04,807 Yeah, you, empIoyee. 398 00:34:06,685 --> 00:34:10,348 My grandson is stiII raw. He's unfocused. 399 00:34:10,589 --> 00:34:14,685 When he becomes another person, he may be unpredictabIe. 400 00:34:14,860 --> 00:34:18,557 About the dentaI, when Barney and I get stuff done... 401 00:34:18,764 --> 00:34:21,164 ...do I pay it, then you reimburse me? 402 00:34:21,333 --> 00:34:25,667 Or do I biII DeIta DentaI directIy? I'm not sure how it works. 403 00:34:25,838 --> 00:34:27,635 You sicken me. 404 00:34:29,175 --> 00:34:31,336 I aImost forgot. 405 00:34:32,478 --> 00:34:36,608 -Here is your Nest in a Box. -''Nest in a Box''? 406 00:34:36,782 --> 00:34:42,846 You may need it. It comes with instructions. There is something eIse. 407 00:34:45,891 --> 00:34:48,587 The Disguisey BaII of KnowIedge. 408 00:34:48,794 --> 00:34:54,027 When you are in dire straits and don't know what to do, this wiII be handy. 409 00:34:55,367 --> 00:35:00,964 -I won't Iet you down, master. -I hope not. 410 00:35:01,707 --> 00:35:05,165 Disguisey thing comes with a Iot of accoutrements. 411 00:35:05,377 --> 00:35:09,006 -So Iong, master! -Bye-bye. 412 00:35:09,181 --> 00:35:13,641 AII right, now. Where to begin our search? 413 00:35:14,019 --> 00:35:18,979 WeII, I guess we couId Iook around at the spot your father was taken. 414 00:35:19,158 --> 00:35:21,388 That's your idea? That's it? 415 00:35:21,560 --> 00:35:25,155 To Iook around at the spot where my father was taken? 416 00:35:25,331 --> 00:35:27,162 WeII, that's crazy. 417 00:35:27,333 --> 00:35:31,861 So crazy it just might work. 418 00:35:32,938 --> 00:35:35,771 You know, this couId be something. 419 00:35:43,148 --> 00:35:45,912 PIease, assistant, don't pIay in the trash... 420 00:35:46,085 --> 00:35:48,883 ...whiIe I am in fuII father-finding mode. 421 00:35:49,088 --> 00:35:52,023 I dated a guy who used to smoke these. 422 00:35:52,191 --> 00:35:55,718 This cigar's from the TurtIe CIub. Look at the IabeI. 423 00:35:55,895 --> 00:35:59,262 You want to pIay games? I'II pIay games with you. 424 00:36:00,366 --> 00:36:02,266 There we go. 425 00:36:05,237 --> 00:36:08,104 I dated a guy who used to smoke these. 426 00:36:08,274 --> 00:36:10,902 This cigar's from the Turtle Club. 427 00:36:12,444 --> 00:36:16,540 Jennifer, do you remember the thing you once said... 428 00:36:16,715 --> 00:36:20,378 ...about the guy you used to date from the TurtIe CIub? 429 00:36:20,719 --> 00:36:22,084 Yeah. 430 00:36:22,254 --> 00:36:25,587 Yes, my Disguisey instincts are going crazy. 431 00:36:25,758 --> 00:36:28,625 We shouId pay a visit to this TurtIe CIub. 432 00:36:28,827 --> 00:36:33,230 It's impossibIe to get in there. You have to be a member. 433 00:36:33,966 --> 00:36:35,228 You make me Iaugh. 434 00:36:35,401 --> 00:36:39,132 We'II see what's impossibIe, my ever-doubtfuI assistant. 435 00:36:39,305 --> 00:36:41,102 Now, quickIy... 436 00:36:41,273 --> 00:36:43,400 ...to the nest! 437 00:36:48,914 --> 00:36:53,851 You know, the name the ''TurtIe CIub,'' it's just a name. 438 00:36:54,019 --> 00:36:57,511 -You're taking it too IiteraIIy. -TurtIe. 439 00:36:57,756 --> 00:37:00,623 May I heIp you? You a member of the cIub? 440 00:37:00,793 --> 00:37:02,658 -Not exactIy. -Not exactIy. 441 00:37:02,861 --> 00:37:06,854 But am I not turtIey enough for the TurtIe CIub? 442 00:37:07,266 --> 00:37:08,756 -Is he okay? -He's fine. 443 00:37:08,934 --> 00:37:11,494 He's fine. TurtIe. 444 00:37:12,004 --> 00:37:13,471 TurtIe. 445 00:37:13,672 --> 00:37:18,041 He's dreamt of this pIace ever since he was a chiId. 446 00:37:18,978 --> 00:37:24,382 Do you think we can go in for a moment? We'II be out in five minutes. 447 00:37:24,550 --> 00:37:27,314 -PIease. -AII right. 448 00:37:35,627 --> 00:37:36,651 TurtIe? 449 00:37:36,829 --> 00:37:38,694 -Not turtIe? -No. 450 00:37:38,864 --> 00:37:40,661 TurtIe? Not turtIe. 451 00:37:45,371 --> 00:37:49,034 CouId you teII me, do you recognize this? 452 00:37:49,208 --> 00:37:54,646 I recognize that. I made that cigar for DevIin Bowman's private coIIection. 453 00:37:56,648 --> 00:38:00,311 -DevIin Bowman. -TurtIe! 454 00:38:05,224 --> 00:38:06,919 -Is he okay? -He's fine. 455 00:38:07,092 --> 00:38:10,391 -I'm fine. TurtIe. -Do you think you can give me... 456 00:38:10,562 --> 00:38:13,998 ...an address or phone number for Mr. Bowman? 457 00:38:14,199 --> 00:38:17,726 Are you crazy? I can't give you that information. 458 00:38:17,903 --> 00:38:22,272 No information. What if harm found its way to you? 459 00:38:22,441 --> 00:38:26,400 TerribIe turtIe harm. WouId that change your mind? 460 00:38:29,214 --> 00:38:33,708 -It's time to go into my sheII. -No. No, sheII. 461 00:38:33,886 --> 00:38:38,380 -SheII time coming. -A name is just fine. Thank you much. 462 00:38:38,590 --> 00:38:40,023 TurtIe harm. 463 00:38:40,192 --> 00:38:45,061 The kind of harm that makes you cry out in the night Iike a IittIe baby. 464 00:38:45,230 --> 00:38:47,721 Hey, baby. Can I buy you a drink? 465 00:38:47,900 --> 00:38:50,892 And maybe some pond water for your friend? 466 00:38:54,206 --> 00:38:55,571 Very funny. 467 00:38:58,143 --> 00:39:00,634 -TurtIe! -Where did he go? 468 00:39:18,564 --> 00:39:22,796 I don't reaIIy know what to say about what went on back there. 469 00:39:22,968 --> 00:39:26,301 -I know, it was Iike a dream, but reaI. -I don't-- 470 00:39:26,472 --> 00:39:30,772 Tomorrow we wiII find out just who this DevIin Bowman is. 471 00:39:30,976 --> 00:39:34,275 -This turtIe thing-- -Then we'II find Mama and Papa. 472 00:39:39,184 --> 00:39:41,243 If I'm going to work tomorrow... 473 00:39:41,420 --> 00:39:45,151 ...I'II need a Iift because my boyfriend has my car. 474 00:39:45,390 --> 00:39:47,119 A boyfriend. 475 00:39:47,292 --> 00:39:48,657 Yes, a boyfriend. 476 00:39:49,461 --> 00:39:52,828 It's getting Iate. I'm going to go in, okay? 477 00:39:53,031 --> 00:39:55,932 Okay. Good night, my Iove-cake. 478 00:39:56,101 --> 00:39:57,625 -''Love-cake''? -What? 479 00:39:57,836 --> 00:39:59,997 -You said ''Iove-cake.'' -Why wouId I? 480 00:40:00,172 --> 00:40:02,663 -Your hindquarters are scrawny. -What? 481 00:40:02,908 --> 00:40:07,504 What I was trying to say is that... 482 00:40:07,679 --> 00:40:09,840 ...I have a present for Barney. 483 00:40:14,486 --> 00:40:18,115 -Give this to him, from his dad? -What? 484 00:40:18,524 --> 00:40:22,824 Da-da-da-dat-ItaIian guy. Me. 485 00:40:23,028 --> 00:40:29,490 Oh, okay. This is very sweet of you. Kneepads. He can use these. 486 00:40:30,335 --> 00:40:32,701 -WeII, thank you. -Nighty-night. 487 00:40:33,138 --> 00:40:34,400 Good night. 488 00:40:34,573 --> 00:40:37,235 SIeepy time, she comes. 489 00:40:45,884 --> 00:40:49,650 Thanks for the Liberty BeII. I'II bring it right back. 490 00:40:49,821 --> 00:40:55,657 And remember, that's an action figure, not a doII. 491 00:40:56,562 --> 00:40:59,087 Sure thing, Governor Ventura. Thanks. 492 00:40:59,531 --> 00:41:02,159 Who'd have thought Governor Ventura... 493 00:41:02,334 --> 00:41:07,237 ...wouId be the perfect disguise to abscond with the Liberty BeII? 494 00:41:07,406 --> 00:41:09,340 Me. 495 00:41:09,875 --> 00:41:15,245 My skiIIs were meant for the betterment of mankind, not for greed and eviI. 496 00:41:15,414 --> 00:41:17,041 PIease. 497 00:41:20,619 --> 00:41:23,611 You shouId see your hair. 498 00:41:23,922 --> 00:41:27,551 You've got serious mask-head. 499 00:41:42,007 --> 00:41:44,373 Pistachio, meet my boyfriend, Trent. 500 00:41:44,543 --> 00:41:48,639 There he is. Heard a Iot about you, Pistach. 501 00:41:48,814 --> 00:41:51,078 How are you? 502 00:41:51,450 --> 00:41:55,113 I forgot my purse. I'II be right back. 503 00:41:56,388 --> 00:41:58,549 Lay off my Iady, you freak. 504 00:41:58,724 --> 00:42:01,716 My, you are a touchy-feeIy guy, Trent. 505 00:42:04,396 --> 00:42:07,888 Saved by the uncoordinated IittIe brat. Hey, Barn. 506 00:42:08,133 --> 00:42:10,465 Grind that curb, buddy. Yeah! 507 00:42:13,272 --> 00:42:14,899 I'm okay. I'm okay. 508 00:42:15,107 --> 00:42:16,267 What a Ioser. 509 00:42:16,441 --> 00:42:21,242 -Thanks for the pads. They heIp. -You'II Iearn with practice, Barney. 510 00:42:21,446 --> 00:42:23,573 I'II keep trying. 511 00:42:24,182 --> 00:42:27,845 What kind of crap are you putting in his head? 512 00:42:28,153 --> 00:42:32,146 -Niceness? -Niceness? What are you, his dad? 513 00:42:32,591 --> 00:42:35,424 You trying to horn in on my action? 514 00:42:35,827 --> 00:42:38,921 You trying to horn in on my action? 515 00:42:39,698 --> 00:42:41,859 -What? -What? 516 00:42:42,301 --> 00:42:45,566 -You mocking me? -You mocking me? 517 00:42:49,574 --> 00:42:51,132 But I warn you, Trent. 518 00:42:51,310 --> 00:42:54,643 My sIap-practice dummy gets quite a workout IateIy. 519 00:42:54,813 --> 00:42:57,543 You want to fight? See what awaits you? 520 00:42:57,716 --> 00:42:59,946 First watch the feet. So fast. 521 00:43:00,118 --> 00:43:02,211 Look at my hands. Look at them. 522 00:43:02,454 --> 00:43:03,785 Too fast. 523 00:43:16,668 --> 00:43:18,659 Hey, Barn. 524 00:43:18,870 --> 00:43:22,033 Just keep practicing. You'II just be fine, okay? 525 00:43:22,207 --> 00:43:24,402 I'm ready. 526 00:43:30,215 --> 00:43:33,981 How come I can't do it and you can? 527 00:43:34,820 --> 00:43:38,984 Baby, I'II see you after work, okay? Bye. 528 00:43:43,228 --> 00:43:46,857 He is so good with chiIdren, huh? 529 00:43:50,335 --> 00:43:54,396 I'm never gonna find anything about this DevIin Bowman guy. 530 00:43:54,573 --> 00:43:56,768 Who's your daddy? 531 00:43:57,376 --> 00:44:00,368 Listen, cIassmate.com thing. 532 00:44:00,579 --> 00:44:02,945 ''To be the worId's greatest bIack marketeer... 533 00:44:03,148 --> 00:44:05,878 ...and possess the rarest treasures on earth... 534 00:44:06,051 --> 00:44:08,713 ...then store them in an underground Iair.'' 535 00:44:08,887 --> 00:44:12,687 What? This guy is crazy. Did you hear this? 536 00:44:12,858 --> 00:44:17,295 I can't beIieve he wouId write something Iike this. Freaky guy. 537 00:44:17,896 --> 00:44:22,356 Yes, we now know the who and the why. 538 00:44:22,534 --> 00:44:28,097 But where do we find a man obsessed with such a rarity? 539 00:44:28,273 --> 00:44:31,640 WeII, there's this memorabiIia fair tomorrow... 540 00:44:31,810 --> 00:44:35,109 ...with rare toys and stuff. Maybe he'II be there. 541 00:44:35,280 --> 00:44:39,410 So you think that Bowman wiII show up... 542 00:44:39,584 --> 00:44:43,315 ...to see these rare items. 543 00:44:43,822 --> 00:44:47,781 That's crazy. So crazy... 544 00:44:47,959 --> 00:44:52,293 ...it just might work. 545 00:44:54,399 --> 00:44:58,995 Pistachio and Jennifer went to the antique show hoping to find Bowman. 546 00:44:59,204 --> 00:45:02,435 My grandson decided to disguise himself as a lady. 547 00:45:02,641 --> 00:45:03,972 Appraise this! 548 00:45:04,142 --> 00:45:08,010 What are you doing? That's the Nest in a Box. 549 00:45:08,280 --> 00:45:12,910 It appears to be of Tuscan design. I'd say earIy 1 2th century. 550 00:45:13,084 --> 00:45:15,018 I knew it was oId, you fooI. 551 00:45:15,220 --> 00:45:20,351 Let me appraise you: You're an idiot. A compIete idiot. How does it feeI? 552 00:45:20,525 --> 00:45:23,688 What is this? 1 2th century Tuscan? It's nice. 553 00:45:23,862 --> 00:45:27,696 -I think that's him. That's Bowman. -Oh! 554 00:45:27,866 --> 00:45:31,859 WeII, you're a taII drink of water. 555 00:45:32,037 --> 00:45:35,666 -And I just Iove moisture. -What? 556 00:45:35,841 --> 00:45:40,335 AIIow me to introduce myseIf. My name is Gammy. 557 00:45:40,512 --> 00:45:43,345 -Gammy Num Num. -DevIin Bowman. 558 00:45:43,748 --> 00:45:46,273 Don't be ashamed of your feeIings. 559 00:45:46,451 --> 00:45:51,548 Your desires are perfectIy normaI, I assure you. 560 00:45:51,790 --> 00:45:55,692 -What desires? -WeII, guess what, Backstreet Boy? 561 00:45:55,994 --> 00:46:02,456 This GirI Scout isn't content to be the MaIcoIm in your middIe. 562 00:46:02,667 --> 00:46:05,568 -Run aIong, Gammy. Run aIong. -Touching me! 563 00:46:05,770 --> 00:46:07,829 Pushing me. There's pressure. 564 00:46:08,006 --> 00:46:10,338 -Moving me back. Touching. -Go. Go. 565 00:46:10,509 --> 00:46:13,501 -What's your name? -I'm Barbara. 566 00:46:15,280 --> 00:46:17,407 Nice to meet you, Barbsie. 567 00:46:17,582 --> 00:46:20,813 -We're never going to make babies. -Right. 568 00:46:20,986 --> 00:46:24,888 I'm having South American art deaIers to my house on Sunday. 569 00:46:25,090 --> 00:46:27,991 We won't go anywhere with you, meIonhead. 570 00:46:28,159 --> 00:46:31,720 -I'd Iove it if you'd join us. -I'd Iove it if you'd shut up. 571 00:46:31,897 --> 00:46:34,161 No need to bring anything... 572 00:46:34,332 --> 00:46:37,699 ...except that beautifuI smiIe. Ciao. 573 00:46:37,869 --> 00:46:42,033 ''Ciao.'' Did you hear that? ItaIian. Look out for the ItaIian man. 574 00:46:42,207 --> 00:46:46,200 Fetch! Come on, fetch! 575 00:46:48,947 --> 00:46:53,350 -I'm not comfortabIe with the new pIan. -It's very easy. Listen. 576 00:46:53,518 --> 00:46:56,419 If you wiII distract Bowman at the party... 577 00:46:56,588 --> 00:46:58,886 -...I'II disguise myseIf as a-- -No! 578 00:46:59,124 --> 00:47:01,058 I'm Master of Disguise. 579 00:47:01,226 --> 00:47:02,887 -I'm sorry-- -What sorry? 580 00:47:03,061 --> 00:47:07,395 The job description didn't say anything about dating weird oId guys. 581 00:47:07,566 --> 00:47:09,830 ''Dating weird oId guy.'' 582 00:47:13,939 --> 00:47:15,600 What? Look. 583 00:47:15,774 --> 00:47:20,234 Look what The Cuteness found. On page 52... 584 00:47:20,412 --> 00:47:24,473 ...the scary monster say, ''From time to time, assistants... 585 00:47:24,649 --> 00:47:28,483 ...to IeveI 1 .5 apprentice Masters of Disguise... 586 00:47:28,653 --> 00:47:33,386 ...may be required to date weird oId guys.'' 587 00:47:33,592 --> 00:47:35,253 WeII.... 588 00:47:35,594 --> 00:47:36,856 There you have it. 589 00:47:37,729 --> 00:47:39,629 Their plan was simple: 590 00:47:39,798 --> 00:47:43,791 Jennifer would sneak into the mansion and look for clues... 591 00:47:43,969 --> 00:47:46,597 ...while Pistachio would distract Bowman. 592 00:47:46,771 --> 00:47:49,467 GentIemen, sorry to keep you waiting. 593 00:47:49,641 --> 00:47:52,269 My dear, I'm deIighted you came. 594 00:47:52,477 --> 00:47:55,776 Excuse me, but where is the Iadies' room? 595 00:47:55,947 --> 00:47:59,678 In the main house, down the haII, first door on your Ieft. 596 00:47:59,884 --> 00:48:02,614 -Want me to show you? -No, it's okay. 597 00:48:02,787 --> 00:48:04,687 -Hurry back. -Okay. 598 00:48:05,090 --> 00:48:06,489 Nice. 599 00:48:09,160 --> 00:48:12,618 -LoveIy woman. -WiII you excuse me, pIease? 600 00:48:14,332 --> 00:48:17,301 We'II party aII night Iong. Right. Having fun. 601 00:48:17,469 --> 00:48:23,465 -Have fun. I must speak to someone-- -Say heIIo to my IittIe friend. 602 00:48:23,642 --> 00:48:26,543 -What is that? -Don't touch. See that? 603 00:48:26,711 --> 00:48:30,306 That is a rare shrunken head of a tribaI chieftain... 604 00:48:30,482 --> 00:48:36,443 ...from the viIIage of ConstopoIocoIus HoIihoIibosis.... 605 00:48:49,034 --> 00:48:52,060 I'm teIIing you, Scooby-Doo is computer-generated. 606 00:48:52,237 --> 00:48:55,297 No way! It Iooked so reaI. 607 00:48:55,507 --> 00:48:59,500 I'm very interested in this, but I have to check on something. 608 00:48:59,678 --> 00:49:01,976 Choking?! HeimIich maneuver. 609 00:49:02,147 --> 00:49:07,881 -I'm not-- I'm not-- I'm not choking! -Are you choking or not? I gotta know. 610 00:49:08,053 --> 00:49:11,181 -I'm not choking. -Not choking. My mistake. 611 00:49:11,356 --> 00:49:14,519 He was not choking, and I was doing the HeimIich maneuver. CouId be dangerous. 612 00:49:14,693 --> 00:49:19,096 I'm sorry. That's my fauIt. Someone's not choking... 613 00:49:19,264 --> 00:49:20,663 ...no maneuver! 614 00:49:21,366 --> 00:49:23,459 No maneuver! 615 00:49:25,837 --> 00:49:30,399 Robin, Ricky, it's him. I better take these. 616 00:49:30,875 --> 00:49:31,899 Chicken satay? 617 00:49:32,077 --> 00:49:36,537 And get that IittIe stick stuck in my esophagus? Not a chance. 618 00:49:36,748 --> 00:49:39,182 -What eIse you got? -Crab cakes. 619 00:49:39,384 --> 00:49:42,615 With your attitude, they shouId be ''crabby'' cakes. 620 00:49:42,787 --> 00:49:47,383 Now I'II ask you, have you got a IittIe wiener and some tiny nuts? 621 00:49:47,559 --> 00:49:50,687 I couId teII by Iooking at you, that you had... 622 00:49:50,862 --> 00:49:56,425 ...a IittIe wiener and some tiny nuts. Oh, yeah. 623 00:49:58,236 --> 00:49:59,635 Hi! 624 00:49:59,804 --> 00:50:04,434 -I was just Iooking for the bathroom. -In the Iiving room? 625 00:50:04,609 --> 00:50:07,737 You had IoveIy furniture and I just thought I'd-- 626 00:50:08,813 --> 00:50:10,212 I'II show you. 627 00:50:10,381 --> 00:50:14,215 After you freshen up, join me on the terrace for an aperitif. 628 00:50:14,385 --> 00:50:16,945 It's IoveIy out there. 629 00:50:17,522 --> 00:50:20,150 Oh, yeah! Gotta dance. 630 00:50:44,949 --> 00:50:47,417 Who is this guy? 631 00:50:50,955 --> 00:50:55,324 This idiot is ruining my party. Bring him to me. 632 00:51:10,942 --> 00:51:14,537 Did you see a dark-haired guy run by? 633 00:51:16,181 --> 00:51:18,649 Dark-haired guy run by, chief? 634 00:51:18,950 --> 00:51:23,819 Dark-haired guy go in the water. Shark in the water. 635 00:51:28,193 --> 00:51:30,127 FareweII and adieu... 636 00:51:30,295 --> 00:51:35,062 -...my wee Spanish Iadies. -What are you taIking about? 637 00:51:36,968 --> 00:51:37,992 What? 638 00:51:40,305 --> 00:51:41,329 What? 639 00:51:41,706 --> 00:51:46,643 I'm taIking about a great white, chief. Two ton of him. 640 00:51:46,811 --> 00:51:49,473 Twenty, maybe 25-footer. 641 00:51:50,982 --> 00:51:53,007 There's no shark here. 642 00:51:53,184 --> 00:51:55,652 You sure about that, chief? 643 00:51:55,820 --> 00:51:58,687 You ever seen a shark's eyes, chief? 644 00:51:58,857 --> 00:52:04,420 Kind of Iike doIIs' eyes, aII bIack and IifeIess-Iike. 645 00:52:04,629 --> 00:52:07,223 Twenty nine kids go in the water. 646 00:52:07,398 --> 00:52:10,526 Twenty two kids come out of the water. 647 00:52:10,702 --> 00:52:13,535 The ice cream man, he take the rest. 648 00:52:13,705 --> 00:52:17,197 ApriI the 9th, haIf past 4 p.m. 649 00:52:17,742 --> 00:52:20,609 Wait. Show me your arm. 650 00:52:20,778 --> 00:52:25,215 You want to see my arm, chief? That's my arm right there, chiefy. 651 00:52:28,553 --> 00:52:32,546 Stop becoming another person. Stop becoming another person.... 652 00:52:32,757 --> 00:52:34,349 It is him! 653 00:52:37,228 --> 00:52:40,561 I run away from the big bIue henchies! 654 00:52:45,169 --> 00:52:48,036 -I stepped on a cow pie! -Forget about it. 655 00:52:48,206 --> 00:52:51,607 I toId you he wasn't here. Let's go back. 656 00:52:59,484 --> 00:53:01,452 Fresh air. 657 00:53:05,056 --> 00:53:07,547 I toId you! There he is! 658 00:53:34,018 --> 00:53:39,684 HeIIo. My name's ConstabIe MueIIer from the Bavarian Tax Authority. 659 00:53:39,857 --> 00:53:40,949 HeIIo. 660 00:53:42,527 --> 00:53:45,223 I'm here Iooking for Ms. Jennifer Baker. 661 00:53:45,530 --> 00:53:48,294 She owes a substantiaI amount of taxes... 662 00:53:48,466 --> 00:53:53,335 ...from her time as an exchange student at the University of HeideIstrudeI. 663 00:53:53,504 --> 00:53:56,598 I just need to ask her a coupIe of questions. 664 00:53:56,774 --> 00:54:02,144 Not going to bite her. CouId I just speak with her for just one moment? 665 00:54:02,313 --> 00:54:04,838 Not going to bite. 666 00:54:08,653 --> 00:54:10,348 -Freak. -Yes? 667 00:54:10,521 --> 00:54:11,988 Don't move. 668 00:54:12,557 --> 00:54:16,516 -Wait right here. -Yes, of course. Wait right here. 669 00:54:16,694 --> 00:54:21,495 Doesn't sound too promising. Maybe it's time to go to pIan B. 670 00:54:21,666 --> 00:54:24,226 You need to reIax. Yes, you do. 671 00:54:24,402 --> 00:54:27,997 God, no. I just-- I don't reaIIy Iike being touched. 672 00:54:29,474 --> 00:54:32,739 -You dropped your purse. -Thank you. I got it. 673 00:54:32,910 --> 00:54:34,673 Okay. 674 00:54:34,846 --> 00:54:38,976 -Let's see what's in here, shaII we? -There's nothing inside. 675 00:54:39,150 --> 00:54:44,087 I had a IittIe coId, so there's medicine for that. It's gross in there. 676 00:54:44,288 --> 00:54:48,224 Why don't you come with me, my dear? This way. Yes. 677 00:54:49,560 --> 00:54:52,654 Where did you come from? Where's the other guy? 678 00:54:52,830 --> 00:54:56,732 Suave. Terry Suave's the name. London, ScotIand Yard. 679 00:54:56,934 --> 00:54:57,992 What do you want? 680 00:54:58,202 --> 00:55:00,864 It's what the British government wants. 681 00:55:01,039 --> 00:55:04,873 And that's a Miss Jennifer Baker-- At her service.... 682 00:55:06,844 --> 00:55:09,870 In regards to Operation Minty Hippo. 683 00:55:10,415 --> 00:55:12,349 Minty Hippo? What is that? 684 00:55:12,517 --> 00:55:15,714 I'd teII you, but it'd be a reaI ding-dong-ding-wad... 685 00:55:15,887 --> 00:55:19,755 ...I need a CharIeston Chew. Get it? Got it? Doubt it. 686 00:55:19,924 --> 00:55:24,224 -It's time for you to go. -Put a squeeze on your chat box. 687 00:55:24,595 --> 00:55:26,790 -What? -This is what you're doing. 688 00:55:26,964 --> 00:55:29,956 This is what I want you to do. Any questions? 689 00:55:30,201 --> 00:55:34,729 -Did you just teII me to shut up? -Yes, you catch on straightaway. 690 00:55:34,906 --> 00:55:38,467 The muscIe. Yes, of course. FamiIiar scenario. 691 00:55:38,709 --> 00:55:40,267 You want to get physicaI? 692 00:55:40,445 --> 00:55:43,471 A bIow to the dewy gumbeI wouId start things. 693 00:55:43,648 --> 00:55:48,779 FinaIIy, a smack to the didgy dodge. Did someone yeII, ''Timber''? 694 00:55:48,986 --> 00:55:51,648 Listen. It is okay. 695 00:55:51,856 --> 00:55:54,051 I did receive a Ietter. 696 00:55:54,292 --> 00:55:59,594 She received a Ietter. Get it? Got it? Doubt it. 697 00:55:59,764 --> 00:56:01,755 Good day to you, sir. 698 00:56:05,603 --> 00:56:07,571 FoIIow them. 699 00:56:15,446 --> 00:56:17,812 I beIieve that DevIin Bowman... 700 00:56:17,982 --> 00:56:22,009 ...has forced my papa to become a Master of Disguise once more... 701 00:56:22,186 --> 00:56:26,885 ...in order to steaI rare treasures from around the worId. 702 00:56:28,693 --> 00:56:34,962 My Disguisey instincts teII me that they're in the mansion somewhere. 703 00:56:35,166 --> 00:56:37,862 -My tight bIue sweater! -Sorry, Trent. 704 00:56:38,035 --> 00:56:42,199 -Trent? Who is this? -Hey, baby. We were just-- 705 00:56:42,406 --> 00:56:45,637 Sophia! You, here, with Trent? What are the odds? 706 00:56:45,810 --> 00:56:48,404 Shut up, cIown. 707 00:56:48,613 --> 00:56:51,639 -Leave him aIone, you buIIy! -Don't worry. 708 00:56:52,016 --> 00:56:56,851 -The sIapping time, she comes. -I'm gonna enjoy this. 709 00:56:57,054 --> 00:56:59,852 Pistachio, it demoralizes your opponent... 710 00:57:00,024 --> 00:57:02,959 ...to repeat the phrase, ''Who's your daddy?'' 711 00:57:03,127 --> 00:57:04,424 Yes. 712 00:57:04,629 --> 00:57:07,462 Who's your daddy, Trent? 713 00:57:09,634 --> 00:57:11,499 Who's your daddy? 714 00:57:15,706 --> 00:57:17,333 Having fun now, Trent? 715 00:57:19,010 --> 00:57:20,637 How do you do? 716 00:57:37,862 --> 00:57:39,659 Oh, Pistachio! 717 00:57:41,499 --> 00:57:45,765 Thank you for saving me from that horribIe person. 718 00:57:45,970 --> 00:57:48,530 Let's go, Jennifer. 719 00:57:52,009 --> 00:57:55,740 Hey, my IittIe waiter friend, Pistac-- 720 00:58:03,421 --> 00:58:06,584 Thanks for Ietting me borrow the ApoIIo for my tour. 721 00:58:06,757 --> 00:58:09,590 No probIem, Miss Simpson. Thanks for the CDs. 722 00:58:09,760 --> 00:58:12,354 I hope you Iike them. 723 00:58:21,038 --> 00:58:23,506 Jessica Simpson. 724 00:58:25,509 --> 00:58:28,444 You seem tired, Frabbrizio. 725 00:58:28,613 --> 00:58:29,875 Don't worry. 726 00:58:30,047 --> 00:58:31,810 It's aImost over. 727 00:58:32,016 --> 00:58:34,041 You're insane! 728 00:58:36,821 --> 00:58:40,279 -ThoroughIy insane. -Am I? 729 00:58:54,972 --> 00:58:57,304 He's asIeep with The Cuteness. 730 00:58:57,541 --> 00:59:03,571 I want to get something off my chest. Today, when I saw you dressed up... 731 00:59:03,748 --> 00:59:06,080 ...Iike the crazy, hairy guy... 732 00:59:06,250 --> 00:59:09,686 ...at that moment, I reaIIy thought you were this... 733 00:59:09,920 --> 00:59:13,651 ...pathetic, insane, absurd... 734 00:59:13,824 --> 00:59:16,657 ...spastic IittIe man. 735 00:59:16,827 --> 00:59:22,322 And now I beIieve that you can do anything. 736 00:59:23,000 --> 00:59:25,298 That's very nice, but not true. 737 00:59:25,469 --> 00:59:31,669 I can't turn mud into oatmeaI, or buiId a spaceship that wiII traveI to PIuto. 738 00:59:31,876 --> 00:59:37,508 But you can find a way to rescue your mama and your papa. 739 00:59:38,082 --> 00:59:41,609 Yes. Yes, I beIieve now too. 740 00:59:41,786 --> 00:59:46,189 Your pep taIk has transformed me, tiny butter-bottom. I mean, Jennifer. 741 00:59:46,357 --> 00:59:48,723 You said, ''Tiny butter-bottom.'' 742 00:59:48,893 --> 00:59:53,125 Did I, the future mother of my babies? I mean, Jennifer? 743 00:59:53,331 --> 00:59:55,959 You said, ''Future mother of my babies.'' 744 00:59:56,133 --> 01:00:00,229 Did I, fat-cat mama with the red dress on? I mean-- 745 01:00:00,404 --> 01:00:03,840 -You said, ''Fat-cat''-- -I don't know why I said that. 746 01:00:04,008 --> 01:00:08,502 It just was the emotion. It just.... 747 01:00:09,347 --> 01:00:12,373 My first kiss. 748 01:00:12,817 --> 01:00:16,412 I must apoIogize, I was a IittIe forward. 749 01:00:16,620 --> 01:00:20,716 But perhaps you enjoyed a IittIe bit? 750 01:00:20,891 --> 01:00:23,758 You know what time it is? 751 01:00:26,897 --> 01:00:31,027 No, I don't know. I don't know what time it is. 752 01:00:31,635 --> 01:00:33,330 Time to make a pIan. 753 01:00:33,537 --> 01:00:36,506 Ah, yes. Yes. 754 01:00:36,674 --> 01:00:40,735 Back to business. The pIanning time, she comes. 755 01:00:40,945 --> 01:00:42,640 Okay. 756 01:00:43,180 --> 01:00:48,174 -AII right. -It's okay. It's okay. Nice. 757 01:00:48,352 --> 01:00:50,752 -Fresh too. Night. -Night. 758 01:00:51,055 --> 01:00:53,580 -Night now. -Good night. 759 01:01:04,668 --> 01:01:06,465 The Cuteness was on guard. 760 01:01:06,670 --> 01:01:10,037 But he'd be no match against Bowman's henchmen... 761 01:01:10,207 --> 01:01:14,109 ...who had orders to kidnap Jennifer. Time was running out... 762 01:01:14,278 --> 01:01:19,773 ...as Bowman put the final touches on his evil scheme. 763 01:01:20,618 --> 01:01:25,578 Grandfather, pIease, I need your heIp. I am out of ideas. 764 01:01:33,764 --> 01:01:37,063 Grandfather, you are a big fIoating head. 765 01:01:37,268 --> 01:01:40,431 I'm a prerecorded hoIogram. What's your question? 766 01:01:40,604 --> 01:01:44,631 I have not mustered enough Energico to overcome our enemies. 767 01:01:44,809 --> 01:01:46,936 I was hoping you'd be here. 768 01:01:47,111 --> 01:01:50,911 -What you doing here? -My mom's missing, but I found this. 769 01:01:51,081 --> 01:01:53,982 -Bowman's cigar. -Is my mom okay? 770 01:01:54,351 --> 01:01:56,819 She's just out buying cigars now. 771 01:01:56,987 --> 01:01:58,352 We have work to do! 772 01:01:58,522 --> 01:02:02,151 I need a disguise to get into the Bowman mansion. 773 01:02:02,326 --> 01:02:04,760 -How about if you dress--? -SiIence! 774 01:02:04,929 --> 01:02:07,693 Grandpa, why don't we give him a chance? 775 01:02:07,865 --> 01:02:10,425 Sometimes out of the mouth of babies.... 776 01:02:10,634 --> 01:02:12,829 AII right, but quietIy. 777 01:02:13,003 --> 01:02:15,631 You never know who might be Iistening. 778 01:02:15,806 --> 01:02:18,969 That's crazy. So crazy-- 779 01:02:19,143 --> 01:02:22,977 It just might work! 780 01:02:24,982 --> 01:02:30,352 Feast your eyes! Some of the worId's greatest treasures. The Liberty BeII. 781 01:02:30,521 --> 01:02:33,615 There's Mona Lisa. The ruby sIippers. 782 01:02:33,824 --> 01:02:36,725 A Betsy Ross originaI. How about that David? 783 01:02:36,894 --> 01:02:40,455 We got Bruce WiIIis' hairpiece from Die Hard 2. 784 01:02:40,631 --> 01:02:45,000 One of my prized possessions here, the ApoIIo 1 1 Lunar ModuIe. 785 01:02:45,169 --> 01:02:47,330 Yep. One smaII step for man. 786 01:02:47,872 --> 01:02:52,241 BIack MarkEbay has a poIicy of not asking how items are obtained. 787 01:02:52,409 --> 01:02:55,572 But in your case, I am curious. 788 01:02:55,813 --> 01:02:59,010 ItaIy's own Frabbrizio Disguisey. 789 01:02:59,183 --> 01:03:01,845 Okay, so it is the Master of Disguise. 790 01:03:02,019 --> 01:03:04,351 Want to see him? 791 01:03:10,694 --> 01:03:15,495 -So you're gonna auction him off? -Too easy. 792 01:03:18,502 --> 01:03:20,402 -It's you. -Right. 793 01:03:20,571 --> 01:03:24,166 I'm going to Krazy GIue this to Frabbrizio's head. 794 01:03:24,341 --> 01:03:29,506 Then tomorrow, I'II push him over a cIiff. Everyone wiII think I'm dead. 795 01:03:29,680 --> 01:03:33,013 It's caIIed the perfect crime. Ever heard of it? 796 01:03:33,183 --> 01:03:35,777 Let me show you the rest of the items. 797 01:03:35,953 --> 01:03:38,387 Mr. Bowman, no cherry pie? 798 01:03:39,757 --> 01:03:41,452 Later, PaImer. Come on. 799 01:03:43,260 --> 01:03:46,627 I don't even know where this cherry pie came from. 800 01:03:46,830 --> 01:03:48,354 Go figure. 801 01:04:05,349 --> 01:04:08,910 These cherries are so tickIish. 802 01:04:09,086 --> 01:04:10,986 And sIippery. 803 01:04:16,594 --> 01:04:19,358 The Cuteness, this is dangerous. Go home. 804 01:04:32,810 --> 01:04:35,904 It's Cherry Pie Man! Get him! 805 01:04:49,393 --> 01:04:53,090 Jennifer was forced to be the Black MarkEBay spokesmodel... 806 01:04:53,263 --> 01:04:56,460 ...as our nation's treasures were auctioned off. 807 01:04:56,634 --> 01:04:58,659 The famous ''We the People. '' 808 01:04:58,836 --> 01:05:00,804 Yo, Doug. Check this out. 809 01:05:05,676 --> 01:05:11,308 Did it ever occur to you that this cherry pie thing was Frabbrizio's son?! 810 01:05:12,483 --> 01:05:14,212 No matter. 811 01:05:14,451 --> 01:05:17,352 Oh, by the way, Steve, your wife caIIed. 812 01:05:17,521 --> 01:05:21,218 -Oh, that's great. Thank you, sir. -Sure. 813 01:05:21,425 --> 01:05:24,519 You're not married! 814 01:05:27,297 --> 01:05:28,924 Pistachio? 815 01:05:30,334 --> 01:05:32,427 Now we got you. 816 01:05:32,636 --> 01:05:35,730 How did you know it was me? 817 01:05:49,753 --> 01:05:51,243 Who's your daddy? 818 01:06:22,786 --> 01:06:26,483 This IittIe dude is sIapping these ninja guys senseIess! 819 01:06:31,228 --> 01:06:33,788 -I set you free! -That's my beIt! 820 01:06:34,798 --> 01:06:36,925 -Wait! Ninjas! -Out of the way! 821 01:06:40,204 --> 01:06:42,297 Anyone who stays gets a raise! 822 01:06:44,441 --> 01:06:46,773 No way! He sIap us siIIy! 823 01:06:47,311 --> 01:06:49,609 You may want to see this. 824 01:06:49,813 --> 01:06:51,576 Smorgasbord. 825 01:06:56,420 --> 01:06:57,512 Mama, Iook out! 826 01:07:05,062 --> 01:07:08,463 No more carameI corn for me. 827 01:07:11,068 --> 01:07:14,629 -Pistachio. -Grandpapa. 828 01:07:14,805 --> 01:07:18,138 I wanted to witness your first Disguisey victory. 829 01:07:18,308 --> 01:07:21,141 Hey, Disguiseys, it's not over yet. 830 01:07:21,311 --> 01:07:24,041 First you wiII see who is your daddy. 831 01:07:26,617 --> 01:07:31,645 I was going to throw him off a cIiff. Instead, I'II have him kiII you. 832 01:07:43,934 --> 01:07:46,528 -Papa. Papa! -I am not your Papa. 833 01:07:46,703 --> 01:07:50,161 He must have been puIIed to the dark side of Energico. 834 01:07:50,340 --> 01:07:53,207 There's a dark side? ExactIy Iike Star Wars? 835 01:07:53,377 --> 01:07:58,781 -I am DevIin Bowman! -No, Papa, you are not Bowman. 836 01:07:58,982 --> 01:08:04,648 Take off your mask. Let's aII go grab a bite to eat at the OIive Garden. 837 01:08:05,222 --> 01:08:08,316 I am DevIin Bowman! 838 01:08:08,725 --> 01:08:11,990 I have a secret underground Iair... 839 01:08:12,162 --> 01:08:15,495 ...fiIIed with rare objects! 840 01:08:15,732 --> 01:08:18,132 Because of you Disguiseys... 841 01:08:18,302 --> 01:08:22,830 ...I spent 20 years in the PaIermo State Penitentiary. 842 01:08:23,006 --> 01:08:24,837 I hate you! 843 01:08:25,242 --> 01:08:27,733 -But, Papa-- -Pistachio! 844 01:08:27,911 --> 01:08:30,106 This is between father and son. 845 01:08:30,314 --> 01:08:33,511 -I am not your papa! -Pistachio, be carefuI! 846 01:08:33,684 --> 01:08:37,620 -You are my papa! I swear you are. -No, I am not! 847 01:08:47,564 --> 01:08:49,896 -Goodbye, peanut! -No, Papa! 848 01:08:53,704 --> 01:08:56,104 -Use the Energico, Pistachio! -Yes. 849 01:08:56,273 --> 01:08:59,037 Papa Bowman. PIease, don't you remember? 850 01:08:59,209 --> 01:09:02,406 I'd put the underwear on my head. You'd take it off. 851 01:09:02,579 --> 01:09:05,139 Those were the days. Right? 852 01:09:05,716 --> 01:09:08,583 What are you taIking about? 853 01:09:08,752 --> 01:09:12,882 Underwear coming.... Stuck in butt crack.... 854 01:09:16,860 --> 01:09:21,126 His underwear's on his head. Just Iike when he was a IittIe boy! 855 01:09:21,298 --> 01:09:26,793 -Take those underwear off your head! -Take that mask off your face. 856 01:09:31,909 --> 01:09:34,036 Papa! 857 01:09:35,579 --> 01:09:38,377 Moustache, Papa! Yes! 858 01:09:38,982 --> 01:09:42,213 The nose! Yes! 859 01:09:42,686 --> 01:09:47,885 Get the eye. Another! Yes! Papa! Papa! Yes! 860 01:09:52,963 --> 01:09:54,590 My son. 861 01:09:54,798 --> 01:09:57,096 It's Frabbrizio! 862 01:09:59,102 --> 01:10:01,297 PuII him up! 863 01:10:03,140 --> 01:10:06,007 -The Disguisey tradition. -Papa free! 864 01:10:06,209 --> 01:10:07,938 So we freed Mama. 865 01:10:08,111 --> 01:10:11,945 Jennifer became Mrs. Disguisey. And Barney got a papa. 866 01:10:12,115 --> 01:10:18,111 Finally, Pistachio became a Master of Disguise. 867 01:10:18,755 --> 01:10:20,814 There was one thing left to do. 868 01:10:22,359 --> 01:10:25,294 We had to get the Constitution from Bowman. 869 01:10:28,265 --> 01:10:29,664 Can I get you anything? 870 01:10:29,866 --> 01:10:32,664 What do you get a man who has everything? 871 01:10:32,836 --> 01:10:36,101 I can't beIieve it, it's President Bush! 872 01:10:36,273 --> 01:10:37,331 What? 873 01:10:37,774 --> 01:10:39,503 Good to see you. 874 01:10:39,676 --> 01:10:43,476 -Mr. President? -FoIks around here caII me ''W''... 875 01:10:43,647 --> 01:10:47,048 ...but you can caII me King George. 876 01:10:50,620 --> 01:10:52,451 That was a joke, son. 877 01:10:52,622 --> 01:10:55,022 Mind if we had a picture together? 878 01:10:55,258 --> 01:10:59,194 Take your time. I'm ready. Say, ''Who's your daddy?'' 879 01:10:59,363 --> 01:11:01,695 -Sir? -This is what you're doing. 880 01:11:01,865 --> 01:11:04,197 This is what I want you to do. Questions? 881 01:11:04,368 --> 01:11:06,029 It's you! 882 01:11:06,203 --> 01:11:11,197 Yes. Yes, it is me, the Master of Disguise. 883 01:11:13,176 --> 01:11:15,041 -Get him! -We're Disguiseys. 884 01:11:15,212 --> 01:11:18,545 -I think I stepped in a cow pie. -Forget about it. 885 01:11:18,715 --> 01:11:21,047 Bring on the heat. 886 01:11:21,284 --> 01:11:23,775 I came to get the Constitution back. 887 01:11:25,322 --> 01:11:28,018 And this one's for you, chiefy! 888 01:11:35,365 --> 01:11:37,299 Is he dead? 889 01:11:40,904 --> 01:11:43,304 Bowman, he make the stinky. 890 01:11:44,074 --> 01:11:46,065 -Who's! -Your! 891 01:11:46,243 --> 01:11:48,006 Daddy! 892 01:12:24,748 --> 01:12:28,240 Say heIIo to my IittIe friend. 893 01:12:33,990 --> 01:12:37,118 By the authority of the Disguisey tradition... 894 01:12:37,294 --> 01:12:39,228 ...page 73 of the pop-up book... 895 01:12:39,396 --> 01:12:42,797 ...I hereby pronounce you wife, son... 896 01:12:42,966 --> 01:12:47,266 ...and Master of Disguise. 897 01:12:47,437 --> 01:12:50,099 Bravo, my son, bravo. 898 01:12:55,245 --> 01:12:59,272 I shot an eIephant in my pajamas. How he got there, I'II never know. 899 01:12:59,449 --> 01:13:02,680 I'd Iike to spin you on your spineIy-spobbIy spibbIy. 900 01:13:02,886 --> 01:13:06,617 Oh, baby going to cry? His mommy caIIed? 901 01:13:11,595 --> 01:13:13,654 And cut. 902 01:13:15,899 --> 01:13:19,335 -Run, Jennifer, run! -Pistachio! 903 01:13:19,503 --> 01:13:20,697 And... 904 01:13:20,904 --> 01:13:22,633 ...action! 905 01:13:35,218 --> 01:13:39,416 I Iike the juice. You Iike the juice? 906 01:13:39,623 --> 01:13:43,115 Sometimes that Master of Disguise go away. 907 01:13:43,293 --> 01:13:45,693 Sometimes he don't go away. 908 01:13:45,929 --> 01:13:47,226 Okay, now... 909 01:13:47,430 --> 01:13:49,796 ...the Master of Disguise... 910 01:13:49,966 --> 01:13:53,527 ...can he change into, say... 911 01:13:54,237 --> 01:13:57,331 -...Barbra Streisand? -Of course. 912 01:13:57,507 --> 01:14:01,637 -Britney Spears? -You're a sick man. 913 01:14:02,679 --> 01:14:04,806 The OIsen twins? 914 01:14:17,027 --> 01:14:20,258 There's a nice, cooI IittIe moustache there... 915 01:14:20,463 --> 01:14:25,400 ...on the big, baId, mean guy's face. That's refreshing. 916 01:14:25,569 --> 01:14:26,763 HoId! 917 01:14:26,970 --> 01:14:28,437 HoId! 918 01:14:28,605 --> 01:14:30,004 HoId! 919 01:14:30,173 --> 01:14:31,902 UnIeash heII. 920 01:15:00,570 --> 01:15:04,131 I never knew if I'd see Jenny again. 921 01:15:04,307 --> 01:15:07,299 -I've seen your type before. -What are you doing? 922 01:15:07,510 --> 01:15:11,241 I'm Gammy Num Num. Then take a gammy of my nummy-nums. 923 01:15:11,448 --> 01:15:15,407 We don't want to go anywhere with you, meIonhead. 924 01:15:23,159 --> 01:15:25,218 You fiIthy thief! 925 01:15:25,395 --> 01:15:29,593 Take that! And that! And that! 926 01:15:34,838 --> 01:15:37,500 Buttercup says you are a bad man. 927 01:15:37,674 --> 01:15:39,403 I'm not the dummy, he is. 928 01:15:39,576 --> 01:15:44,070 Can you beIieve how stiff he is? And I'm the one made of wood. 929 01:15:56,126 --> 01:15:59,323 I don't want any trou-bubbIes! 930 01:16:00,664 --> 01:16:02,427 You got a IittIe wiener-- 931 01:16:02,599 --> 01:16:05,124 Get the bee out. I won't pIay games. 932 01:16:05,302 --> 01:16:09,762 -You got a IittIe wiener-- Go away. -Got a IittIe bee. 933 01:16:09,939 --> 01:16:13,636 There's no wiener. There's just a bee. 934 01:16:16,079 --> 01:16:21,483 I stiII have the greatest anti-Disguisey weapon of aII. 935 01:16:24,521 --> 01:16:28,617 There's a dark side? ExactIy Iike Star Wars? 936 01:16:32,862 --> 01:16:36,195 -What's going on? -Pistachio's in grave danger. 937 01:16:36,399 --> 01:16:37,991 Pistachio, come back! 938 01:16:39,869 --> 01:16:41,200 A bottom. 939 01:16:51,114 --> 01:16:54,481 Yes. I see now. 940 01:16:54,651 --> 01:16:58,644 Love is thicker than your behinds. 941 01:17:00,223 --> 01:17:02,214 Look what Daddy made for you. 942 01:17:02,392 --> 01:17:06,658 A IittIe sweater. I knit it Iast night for you, IittIe Buttercup. 943 01:17:06,830 --> 01:17:10,698 My name is GIuteus Maximus. Are you not entertained? 944 01:17:10,867 --> 01:17:14,234 Why are your arms around the tush queen? 945 01:17:14,404 --> 01:17:18,397 Wait, I screwed it up. She's the cake. You're the queen. 946 01:17:18,575 --> 01:17:23,069 And remember, Humpty Dumpty sat on the waII. 947 01:17:23,246 --> 01:17:28,741 No one reaIIy had a cIue what he was doing up there in the first pIace. 948 01:17:41,164 --> 01:17:44,861 -Now show me some toys. -Toys? Yes, of course. Toys. Here. 949 01:17:45,034 --> 01:17:49,368 How about this? This is the worId's first giant yo-yo. 950 01:17:49,539 --> 01:17:53,566 Oopsie-cadabra. It Iooks more Iike a no-yo. 951 01:18:08,324 --> 01:18:10,121 HeIIo? 952 01:18:10,493 --> 01:18:12,120 What? 953 01:18:18,968 --> 01:18:20,595 HeIIo? 954 01:18:29,412 --> 01:18:31,141 What? 955 01:18:31,514 --> 01:18:34,506 Who--? Who are you? 956 01:18:34,751 --> 01:18:38,585 What were you doing in the sIapping dummy? 957 01:18:38,755 --> 01:18:40,416 SIap! 958 01:18:40,757 --> 01:18:46,195 Come back here, sIapping-dummy man. It was you aII aIong, aII the time. 959 01:18:46,362 --> 01:18:50,526 You were the one. I'm going to get you. I'm going to get you. 960 01:18:50,767 --> 01:18:54,203 Now, aII right, aII right. Let's not fight. 961 01:18:54,370 --> 01:19:00,002 I just want to taIk, okay? Now, Iisten. I just want to taIk to you. 962 01:19:00,176 --> 01:19:01,871 I sIap you! 963 01:19:05,248 --> 01:19:07,375 Come back here! 964 01:19:08,384 --> 01:19:12,115 Come back here, sIapping-dummy man. 965 01:19:15,558 --> 01:19:17,048 I'II get you, Pistachio. 966 01:19:17,293 --> 01:19:20,524 -PIease, sIapping-dummy man. -I'II get you. 967 01:19:20,697 --> 01:19:23,689 -I didn't mean it. -I'II get you, Pistachio. 968 01:19:23,867 --> 01:19:27,769 -I didn't mean it, sIapping-dummy man. -I'II get you. 969 01:19:28,638 --> 01:19:32,199 So we find a nest, and then we started training. 970 01:19:32,375 --> 01:19:36,038 And then we go to the sIapping dummy, no offense. 971 01:19:36,212 --> 01:19:41,081 But you gave me quite a workout a few times. You must reaIIy Iove to sIap. 972 01:19:41,284 --> 01:19:44,219 -I Iove to sIap. -Yes, you Iove to sIap, yes. 973 01:19:44,387 --> 01:19:48,050 What are you peopIe stiII doing here? You saw the movie. 974 01:19:48,224 --> 01:19:51,716 I'm trying to taIk. AII right? Goodbye. 975 01:19:51,895 --> 01:19:53,726 AII right, so anyway.... 976 01:19:54,197 --> 01:19:57,189 -Pistachio, I'm sad. -What is the matter? 977 01:19:57,367 --> 01:20:00,768 -I want to say goodbye. -AII right. We fade up. 978 01:20:00,937 --> 01:20:03,371 -Goodbye. -Goodbye. 979 01:20:08,678 --> 01:20:10,441 No more dog food. 980 01:20:10,613 --> 01:20:12,012 TurtIe, turtIe!