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Police Constable Nicholas Angel.
Born and schooled in London.

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Graduated Canterbury University in 1993
with a double first in politics and sociology.

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Attended Hendon College of Police Training.

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Displayed great aptitude in field exercises.

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Notably, urban pacification and riot control.

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Back off!

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Academically excelled in theoretical
course work and final year examinations.

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Received the Baton of Honor.

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Graduated with distinction into
the Metropolitan Police Service.

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Quickly established an effectiveness
and popularity within the community.

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Use your brain.

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Proceeded to improve skill base
with courses in advanced driving

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and advanced cycling.

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Became heavily involved
in a number of extra vocational activities.

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To this day holds the Met record
for the 100 meter dash.

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In 2001 began active duty with
the renowned SO 19 armed response unit.

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Received a bravery award for efforts
in the resolution of Operation Crackdown.

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In the last 12 months
has received nine special commendations.

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Achieved the highest arrest record
for any officer in the Met.

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And sustained three injuries
in the line of duty.

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Most recently in December when wounded
by a man dressed as Father Christmas.

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- Hello, Nicholas.
- Hello, Sergeant.

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- How's the hand?
- Still a bit stiff.

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It can get awfully hairy out there.

25
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I'm surprised you weren't snapped up
sooner for a nice desk job. That's what I did.

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I prefer to think my office is
out on the street.

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Indeed, you do.

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Your arrest record is 400% higher
than any other officer.

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Which is why it's high time
that such skills were put to better use.

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- We're making you Sergeant.
- I see.

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In Sandford, Gloucestershire.

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- In where, sorry?
- In Sandford, Gloucestershire.

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- That's in the country.
- Yes, lovely.

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Isn't there a Sergeant's position
here in London?

35
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No.

36
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- Can I remain here as a PC?
- No.

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- Do I have any choice in this?
- No.

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Sergeant, I kind of like it here.

39
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Well, you've always wanted
to transfer to the country.

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- In 20 years or so, yes.
- Well done, you.

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Hang on, I don't remember telling you that.

42
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Yes, you did. You said,

43
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"I'd love to settle down
in the country sometime, Janine."

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I'd like to talk to the Inspector.

45
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You can speak to the Inspector,
but I can promise you

46
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he will tell you
exactly the same thing as I have.

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- Hello, Nicholas. How's the hand?
- It's still a bit stiff.

48
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- And how are things at home?
- I'm sorry, sir?

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How's Janine?

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We're no longer together, sir.

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- Right. Then where are you living?
- He's staying at the Section House, sir.

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- With the recruits?
- Yes, he's living out of cardboard boxes.

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Well, then, you're packed already.

54
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Nicholas, we're offering you a smashing
position with a delightful cottage,

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in a lovely little place
that I think has won Village of the Year

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I don't know how many times.
It'll be good for you.

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- I don't really know what to say.
- Yes?

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Yes, thank you.

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No, I'm sorry. I'm gonna have to...

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- You want to take this higher?
- Yes, yes, I do.

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You want me to bother
the Chief Inspector with this?

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Yes.

63
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You want me to get the Chief Inspector
to come all the way down here?

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- Yes, I do.
- Okay.

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Kenneth!

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- Hello, Nicholas. How's the hand?
- Still a bit stiff.

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- Chief Inspector...
- Keep your seat.

68
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Now, I know what you're going to say,

69
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but the fact is,
you've been making us all look bad.

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I'm sorry, sir?

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Of course we all appreciate your efforts,

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but you've been rather
letting the side down.

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It's all about being a team player, Nicholas.

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You can't be the Sheriff of London.

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If we let you carry on running round town,

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you'll continue to be exceptional
and we can't have that.

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You'll put us all out of a job.

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With respect, sir.

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- You can't just make people disappear.
- Yes, I can. I'm the Chief Inspector.

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Well, however you spin this, there's
one thing you haven't taken into account.

81
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And that's what the "team"
is gonna make of this.

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- Hello?
- Janine, it's me.

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I know. I'm at work.

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I know, I'm outside.

85
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What's the situation?

86
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You know the situation.
We've been over this.

87
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No, I... I meant here.

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Two people involved,
distinct signs of a struggle.

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Complete mess.

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- You are talking about here?
- Nicholas, what do you want?

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Well, I have something important to tell you
and I didn't wanna do it over the phone.

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Janine, I've been transferred.
I'm moving away for a while.

93
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I'm not Janine.

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Janine, I've been transferred.
I'm moving away for a while.

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I know. Bob told me.

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Hello, there.

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Well, I wanted to tell you in person.

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And there's no reason
we can't be civil with each other.

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It's not that long ago
we were talking about getting married.

100
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Yes, but you were already married
to the force, weren't you?

101
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We're actually supposed to call it
"the service" now.

102
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Official vocab guidelines state
that "force" is too aggressive.

103
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See. It's only ever about the job.

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- It's all you care about.
- That's not true.

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No, you're right,
you do have that rubber plant.

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- It's a Japanese Peace Lily.
- You just can't switch off, Nicholas.

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And until you find a person you care
about more than your job, you never will.

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Besides, you were the one
who suggested we take a break.

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Yes, well,
guilty people often make the first move.

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Actually, there's something
I need to tell you.

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- You're seeing someone else.
- Yes. How did you...

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- Is it Bob?
- No.

113
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Does Bob look like
the kind of person I'd go out with?

114
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It's Dave.

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Hello, there.

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I see.

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Oh, Nicholas.

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You do realize that window
was broken from the inside?

119
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Hello there, Nicholas,
Frank Butterman here, your new Inspector.

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I'm just calling with details
of your accommodation.

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We've got you a lovely little cottage
on Spencer Hill.

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Look forward to meeting you anon. Cheerio.

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Nicholas, Frank again.
One other thing about your cottage.

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It's not ready.

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It would appear the heavens have opened.

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- I was hoping to check in.
- Check in?

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But you've always been here.

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- Excuse me?
- Oh, I'm sorry.

129
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I thought you were my husband.

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- You must be Sergeant Angel.
- Yes, I am.

131
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I'm Joyce Cooper.
I trust you had a pleasant trip. Fascist.

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I beg your pardon?

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"System of Government characterized
by extreme dictatorship." Seven across.

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- Oh, I see. It's "fascism."
- Fascism. Wonderful.

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Now, we've put you in the Castle Suite.
Bernard will escort you up there.

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Well, actually,
I could probably make my own way up. Hag.

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I beg your pardon?

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"Evil old woman considered
frightful or ugly." It's 12 down.

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Oh, bless you.

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- Pint of lager, please, Mary.
- Right you are, my love.

141
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Yes, sir, what can I get you?

142
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Could I have a glass
of the cranberry juice, please?

143
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Certainly.

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Now, you wouldn't, by any chance,
be the new policeman?

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Police officer, yes. I'm Nicholas Angel.

146
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- I'm Roy Porter. This is my wife Mary.
- Mary.

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Welcome to Sandford.

148
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If there's anything you need,
just let us know.

149
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Thank you. Could I borrow your newspaper?

150
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It's not ours, love.

151
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We're not big fans of the local fish wrapper,
are we, Mare?

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- They listed her age as 55.
- When I'm actually 53.

153
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Fifty-three.

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- Pint of lager, please, Mary.
- Right you are, my love.

155
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- Excuse me.
- What?

156
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- When's your birthday?
- Twenty-second of February.

157
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- What year?
- Every year.

158
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Get out.

159
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- When's your birthday?
- Eighth of May, 1969.

160
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- You're 37?
- Yeah.

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Get out.

162
00:11:08,560 --> 00:11:09,629
When's your birthday?

163
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Out.

164
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- Is there a problem, Officer?
- Yes, there is, Mr. Porter.

165
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It would appear a number
of your patrons are under age.

166
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Well, a few of them may be
a month or two south of proper.

167
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But if they're in here,
it stops them getting into trouble out there.

168
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Yeah, the way we see it,
it's all for the greater good.

169
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The greater good.

170
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Well, that's as may be,
but the law's the law and they'll have to go.

171
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- Another cranberry juice?
- I'm fine, thank you.

172
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I hope you're not planning on driving that.

173
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No.

174
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Right. I'm taking you to the station.

175
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Where is it?

176
00:12:31,080 --> 00:12:32,149
What?

177
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Move.

178
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"Nicholas Angel."

179
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- Oh, when did you start?
- Tomorrow.

180
00:12:53,880 --> 00:12:56,189
Well, I see you've already arrested
the whole village.

181
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Not exactly.

182
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- You in for the night?
- Go on, four's free.

183
00:13:01,080 --> 00:13:04,311
- Hey, now, I need to speak to him.
- He'll be no use till the morning.

184
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I see.

185
00:13:05,600 --> 00:13:08,478
You really want to process all this lot?

186
00:13:09,320 --> 00:13:11,754
- My pen's running out.
- Not a problem.

187
00:13:49,160 --> 00:13:50,832
- Morning, Sergeant.
- Morning.

188
00:13:50,920 --> 00:13:52,035
Morning.

189
00:13:53,040 --> 00:13:54,155
Morning, Sergeant.

190
00:13:56,160 --> 00:13:57,957
Morning, Sergeant.

191
00:14:02,800 --> 00:14:04,916
- Lock me up.
- I'm sorry?

192
00:14:05,000 --> 00:14:07,036
I'm a slasher and I must be stopped.

193
00:14:07,880 --> 00:14:11,395
- You're a what?
- A slasher of prices.

194
00:14:12,840 --> 00:14:17,436
Just kidding. I'm Simon Skinner.
I run the local supermarch�.

195
00:14:17,680 --> 00:14:20,990
Drop in and see me sometime.
My discounts are criminal.

196
00:14:21,360 --> 00:14:22,918
Catch me later!

197
00:14:24,840 --> 00:14:27,035
Morning, Sergeant.

198
00:14:32,320 --> 00:14:34,356
Morning, Sergeant.

199
00:14:37,840 --> 00:14:40,912
Could you tell the Inspector
I've arrived, please?

200
00:14:41,200 --> 00:14:42,474
No.

201
00:14:43,040 --> 00:14:44,234
Why?

202
00:14:44,640 --> 00:14:46,551
He's not in yet.

203
00:14:46,840 --> 00:14:49,195
- Well, how's our guest?
- Guest?

204
00:14:49,280 --> 00:14:53,717
- The inebriate in cell four.
- I don't know. Nobody tells me nothing.

205
00:14:58,960 --> 00:15:00,712
Can I get cell four open, please?

206
00:15:00,800 --> 00:15:02,791
Danny, can you open four?

207
00:15:05,240 --> 00:15:09,518
- He's gone.
- Oh, my God. Who's gone?

208
00:15:12,400 --> 00:15:16,393
- Why are you dressed like a police officer?
- Because I am one.

209
00:15:17,240 --> 00:15:19,549
Sergeant Angel, at last. Frank Butterman.

210
00:15:20,680 --> 00:15:23,638
- I see you've already met my boy.
- Yes.

211
00:15:25,520 --> 00:15:28,671
Do forgive me.
I'm something of a Wild West nut.

212
00:15:28,760 --> 00:15:32,912
Speaking of which, that was a fair
few outlaws you rounded up last night.

213
00:15:33,080 --> 00:15:34,593
Thank you, sir.

214
00:15:34,680 --> 00:15:39,390
I admire your enthusiasm
and far be it from me to stifle your flair,

215
00:15:39,480 --> 00:15:42,074
but this isn't London.
Oh, yes, please, Danny.

216
00:15:42,160 --> 00:15:43,229
With respect, sir,

217
00:15:43,320 --> 00:15:46,437
geographical location shouldn't factor
in the application of the law.

218
00:15:46,520 --> 00:15:47,748
No, thanks.

219
00:15:47,840 --> 00:15:51,594
Statistically, Sandford is
the safest village in the country.

220
00:15:51,680 --> 00:15:53,796
But that doesn't mean
it requires anything less

221
00:15:53,880 --> 00:15:56,235
than a careful and considered approach.

222
00:15:56,320 --> 00:15:59,118
There's a reason we accommodate
a few of the younglings at the pub.

223
00:15:59,200 --> 00:16:02,556
- The greater good?
- The greater good. Precisely.

224
00:16:02,640 --> 00:16:06,758
Your predecessor assumed
that rural policing was easy.

225
00:16:07,560 --> 00:16:09,471
Ended up having a nervous breakdown.

226
00:16:09,560 --> 00:16:13,519
And Sergeant Popwell was
an exceptional officer, truly exceptional.

227
00:16:14,280 --> 00:16:16,191
And he had one thing you haven't got.

228
00:16:16,280 --> 00:16:19,078
- What's that, sir?
- A great big bushy beard.

229
00:16:19,160 --> 00:16:21,151
Come on, let's have a mosey around.

230
00:16:23,360 --> 00:16:24,679
Locker room.

231
00:16:26,000 --> 00:16:27,433
Riot room.

232
00:16:29,560 --> 00:16:30,959
Evidence room.

233
00:16:33,760 --> 00:16:37,673
Now, how about a trip to the Andes?

234
00:16:37,760 --> 00:16:41,435
Detective Sergeant Wainwright
and Detective Constable Cartwright.

235
00:16:42,840 --> 00:16:44,319
Don't get up.

236
00:16:45,480 --> 00:16:48,040
I expect you're wondering
why we call them the Andes.

237
00:16:48,120 --> 00:16:51,635
- They're both called Andrew?
- They said you were good.

238
00:16:51,720 --> 00:16:54,280
Also, because talking to them is
an uphill struggle, isn't it, Dad?

239
00:16:54,680 --> 00:16:56,591
- Fuck off!
- Thank you, Danny.

240
00:17:02,440 --> 00:17:05,398
And this is where it all happens.

241
00:17:06,840 --> 00:17:08,910
That is Sergeant Tony Fisher.

242
00:17:09,000 --> 00:17:10,228
PC Bob Walker.

243
00:17:11,640 --> 00:17:12,914
And that is Saxon.

244
00:17:13,440 --> 00:17:17,479
And this is one Doris Thatcher.

245
00:17:17,560 --> 00:17:19,551
- She's our only policewoman.
- She's not a policewoman.

246
00:17:19,640 --> 00:17:21,756
- Yeah, she is. I've seen her bra.
- She's a police officer.

247
00:17:21,840 --> 00:17:23,239
Being a woman has nothing to do with it.

248
00:17:23,320 --> 00:17:25,311
Oh, I don't know.
Comes in handy every so often.

249
00:17:25,640 --> 00:17:28,996
I could've given you the tour.
I've been round the station a few times.

250
00:17:29,280 --> 00:17:30,713
And what's upstairs?

251
00:17:32,400 --> 00:17:34,868
Well, well, well, I see we have visitors.

252
00:17:34,960 --> 00:17:37,155
Nicholas, this is Tom Weaver.

253
00:17:37,520 --> 00:17:40,796
Civilian liaison
with the Neighborhood Watch Alliance.

254
00:17:40,880 --> 00:17:43,872
You'll find that we run
a very tight ship here.

255
00:17:45,280 --> 00:17:50,354
From this command center
I can see what the whole village is up to.

256
00:17:51,480 --> 00:17:54,790
I must say I was rather admiring
your handiwork last night.

257
00:17:54,880 --> 00:17:57,348
It's a pity you didn't do the same
to those bloody hoodies.

258
00:17:57,440 --> 00:17:59,954
Hanging around. Loitering. Sitting.

259
00:18:00,040 --> 00:18:02,349
Actually, I did notice some minor graffiti
on the fountain.

260
00:18:02,440 --> 00:18:04,670
Graffiti? They've gotta be dealt with, Frank.

261
00:18:04,760 --> 00:18:06,910
They're nippers, Tom. They'll come round.

262
00:18:07,000 --> 00:18:08,194
Which reminds me,

263
00:18:08,280 --> 00:18:11,477
our friend, The Living Statue,
was here on Saturday.

264
00:18:11,560 --> 00:18:16,395
11:00, 12:00, 1:00, 2:00.

265
00:18:16,480 --> 00:18:19,199
If we don't come down hard
on these clowns,

266
00:18:19,280 --> 00:18:23,353
- we are gonna be up to our balls in jugglers.
- We'll get right onto it, Tom.

267
00:18:25,560 --> 00:18:27,835
We like to let them think they run the place.

268
00:18:27,920 --> 00:18:29,592
Well, that's that.

269
00:18:29,680 --> 00:18:31,989
Unless there's anything
you're unclear about?

270
00:18:32,080 --> 00:18:35,152
Yes, sir.
Why is everybody eating chocolate cake?

271
00:18:35,240 --> 00:18:39,313
The Black Forest gateau is on Danny.
As punishment for his little indiscretion.

272
00:18:39,400 --> 00:18:40,435
His...

273
00:18:40,520 --> 00:18:43,717
Sir, I don't think driving under the influence
can be called a "little indiscretion."

274
00:18:43,800 --> 00:18:46,837
No, the gateau is for misplacing
his helmet the other week.

275
00:18:46,920 --> 00:18:50,708
Last night's incident will require
something rather more serious.

276
00:18:50,800 --> 00:18:52,995
- Good.
- Do you like ice-cream?

277
00:18:53,080 --> 00:18:54,752
I'm sorry, sir, I don't follow.

278
00:18:54,840 --> 00:18:58,435
Let's just say that we won't be short
of Chunky Monkey for the next month.

279
00:18:59,080 --> 00:19:00,195
Dad.

280
00:19:00,280 --> 00:19:03,909
Now, since it's your first day
and it's 11:30, I'd say that's lunch.

281
00:19:09,960 --> 00:19:14,397
So, what made you choose Sandford then,
Sergeant Angel?

282
00:19:14,480 --> 00:19:16,038
It wasn't actually my choice.

283
00:19:16,120 --> 00:19:20,113
Oh, right, right, wasn't your choice to come
down here and tell me how to do my job.

284
00:19:20,200 --> 00:19:21,349
Our jobs.

285
00:19:23,320 --> 00:19:24,355
Yeah.

286
00:19:25,280 --> 00:19:28,078
Look, I can assure you it wasn't
my intention to upset the apple cart.

287
00:19:28,160 --> 00:19:31,277
Yeah, 'cause we all sell apples round here,
don't we?

288
00:19:31,360 --> 00:19:34,079
- Your dad sells apples, Andy.
- And raspberries.

289
00:19:34,160 --> 00:19:36,628
I bet you can't wait to jump
into Sergeant Popwell's grave.

290
00:19:36,720 --> 00:19:38,790
I'm not jumping into anyone's grave.

291
00:19:40,040 --> 00:19:43,237
- You got a mustache.
- I know.

292
00:19:43,880 --> 00:19:46,917
- Why have you got your stab vest on?
- It's a requirement.

293
00:19:47,000 --> 00:19:51,118
In the city maybe.
Nobody's gonna stab you in here, Sergeant.

294
00:19:51,400 --> 00:19:53,311
Not a member of the public anyhow.

295
00:19:55,320 --> 00:19:57,959
- Have you been stabbed, Sergeant Fisher?
- No.

296
00:19:58,040 --> 00:19:59,393
Well, I have.

297
00:19:59,480 --> 00:20:01,948
And I can assure you
it is not in the least bit amusing.

298
00:20:03,560 --> 00:20:05,994
Have you seen a lot of action,
Sergeant Angel?

299
00:20:06,080 --> 00:20:07,911
I've experienced my fair share, yes.

300
00:20:08,000 --> 00:20:10,389
- Did you cook any fools?
- Excuse me?

301
00:20:10,480 --> 00:20:11,674
Did you shoot anybody?

302
00:20:11,760 --> 00:20:14,957
He shot a crack head with a Kalashnikov.

303
00:20:15,480 --> 00:20:19,075
- Where did you get that?
- The offender had the Kalashnikov.

304
00:20:19,160 --> 00:20:20,195
Where'd he get that?

305
00:20:20,280 --> 00:20:23,352
You do know there are more guns
in the country than there are in the city?

306
00:20:23,440 --> 00:20:26,352
Everybody and their mums
is packing round here.

307
00:20:27,080 --> 00:20:29,036
- Like who?
- Farmers.

308
00:20:29,120 --> 00:20:31,509
- Who else?
- Farmers's mums.

309
00:20:35,640 --> 00:20:38,313
What's it like being stabbed?

310
00:20:38,920 --> 00:20:42,117
It was the single most painful
experience of my life.

311
00:20:42,200 --> 00:20:44,475
What was the second most painful?

312
00:20:50,680 --> 00:20:51,669
You ever fired two guns
whilst jumping through the air?

313
00:20:51,720 --> 00:20:52,675
No.

314
00:20:52,720 --> 00:20:53,675
You ever fired one gun
whilst jumping through the air?

315
00:20:53,720 --> 00:20:54,675
No.

316
00:20:54,720 --> 00:20:55,675
- Ever been in a high speed pursuit?
- Yes, I have.

317
00:20:55,720 --> 00:20:56,675
You ever fired a gun
whilst in a high speed pursuit?

318
00:20:56,720 --> 00:20:58,392
No.

319
00:20:58,880 --> 00:21:02,998
Annette,
that Sergeant Angel's coming into your shop.

320
00:21:03,080 --> 00:21:04,672
Get a look at his arse.

321
00:21:05,320 --> 00:21:07,436
- What about Lethal Weapon?
- No.

322
00:21:07,520 --> 00:21:09,431
- You've seen Die Hard, though?
- No.

323
00:21:09,520 --> 00:21:11,078
- Bad Boys II?
- No.

324
00:21:11,160 --> 00:21:12,798
You ain't seen Bad Boys II?

325
00:21:16,640 --> 00:21:18,437
- Hell of a day, huh?
- Yeah.

326
00:21:18,520 --> 00:21:20,033
- Same again tomorrow?
- Yeah.

327
00:21:25,600 --> 00:21:28,717
Amanda Paver,
headmistress of Sandford Primary.

328
00:21:28,800 --> 00:21:30,153
How do you do, Sergeant?

329
00:21:30,240 --> 00:21:34,870
- Simon Skinner, I believe you've met.
- Oh, we're already firm friends.

330
00:21:34,960 --> 00:21:36,871
Oh, please, please, come with me, will you?

331
00:21:36,960 --> 00:21:38,757
This is Leslie Tiller,

332
00:21:39,040 --> 00:21:42,999
whose horticultural expertise
has helped put Sandford on the map.

333
00:21:43,240 --> 00:21:45,470
- She's ever so good.
- Oh, go on.

334
00:21:45,560 --> 00:21:47,869
This is James Reaper,
who owns Brannigan Farm.

335
00:21:47,960 --> 00:21:49,598
I hear you're quite the marksman.

336
00:21:49,680 --> 00:21:52,035
Perhaps you might like to join us
for a shoot one day.

337
00:21:52,120 --> 00:21:54,554
Well, I haven't held a firearm
for over two years, Mr. Reaper.

338
00:21:54,640 --> 00:21:56,198
I'd quite like to keep it that way.

339
00:21:56,280 --> 00:21:57,952
You will be popular with the local birds.

340
00:21:58,480 --> 00:21:59,674
Birds.

341
00:22:00,400 --> 00:22:02,834
Nicholas, hello. Reverend Shooter.

342
00:22:03,280 --> 00:22:06,431
I want to ask you,
would you read a homily at Sunday Service?

343
00:22:06,520 --> 00:22:08,511
That might be
a little hypocritical of me, Reverend.

344
00:22:08,600 --> 00:22:10,750
Oh, you're an atheist?

345
00:22:10,840 --> 00:22:12,239
No, I'm... I'm...

346
00:22:12,320 --> 00:22:15,232
I'm open to the concept of religion,
I'm just not entirely convinced by it.

347
00:22:15,320 --> 00:22:17,834
- You're an agnostic?
- I think I have a cream for that.

348
00:22:19,920 --> 00:22:22,912
Robin Hatcher, our resident sawbones.

349
00:22:23,000 --> 00:22:25,798
Hopefully we won't see too much
of each other over the coming months.

350
00:22:26,640 --> 00:22:28,517
Well, all that remains is to welcome you

351
00:22:28,600 --> 00:22:32,991
to the weekly meeting
of the Neighborhood Watch Alliance.

352
00:22:35,360 --> 00:22:38,193
Now, quick announcement before we begin.

353
00:22:38,560 --> 00:22:41,836
Janet Barker has just given birth to twins.

354
00:22:42,160 --> 00:22:44,116
So, congratulations to her.

355
00:22:44,200 --> 00:22:46,395
- Tom?
- Thanks, Joyce.

356
00:22:46,960 --> 00:22:47,995
Now.

357
00:22:48,720 --> 00:22:53,475
I am sure that all of you will have noticed
the return of a blight to our streets.

358
00:22:53,560 --> 00:22:57,712
It's made all the more disturbing as
the Village of the Year contest looms.

359
00:22:58,440 --> 00:23:03,355
I refer, of course,
to the extremely irritating Living Statue.

360
00:23:08,480 --> 00:23:11,677
Police work
is as much about preventing crime

361
00:23:11,760 --> 00:23:13,512
as it is about fighting crime.

362
00:23:13,600 --> 00:23:16,956
Most importantly,
it is about procedural correctness

363
00:23:17,040 --> 00:23:20,316
in the execution
of unquestionable moral authority.

364
00:23:21,400 --> 00:23:22,719
Any questions?

365
00:23:24,960 --> 00:23:26,154
Yes.

366
00:23:26,240 --> 00:23:28,834
Is it true that there is a place
in a man's head

367
00:23:28,920 --> 00:23:30,956
that if you shoot it, it will blow up?

368
00:23:34,720 --> 00:23:36,119
Hi, hi, Tim Messenger.

369
00:23:36,200 --> 00:23:38,395
Can I get a quick shot
for the Sandford Citizen?

370
00:23:38,480 --> 00:23:39,595
Okay.

371
00:23:39,680 --> 00:23:41,716
How about you put the teacher
in handcuffs?

372
00:23:41,800 --> 00:23:43,233
I don't think that gives off the right signals.

373
00:23:43,320 --> 00:23:45,117
Too cheesy-pie. Okay. Gotcha.

374
00:23:45,520 --> 00:23:47,511
- Give the little blonde kid your hat.
- I'd rather not.

375
00:23:47,880 --> 00:23:49,791
- Wave your hitting stick about.
- No.

376
00:23:49,880 --> 00:23:51,074
Righty-ho-ho.

377
00:23:55,400 --> 00:23:58,278
Oh, can I have your autograph, please?

378
00:24:00,200 --> 00:24:03,112
- For the breakfast.
- Oh, sorry.

379
00:24:07,880 --> 00:24:09,950
Hey, that weren't me.

380
00:24:11,160 --> 00:24:13,628
- Morning, Angle.
- Good morning, Angle.

381
00:24:14,120 --> 00:24:15,872
- Morning, Angle.
- Morning, Angle.

382
00:24:15,960 --> 00:24:18,349
- Sergeant Angel.
- Morning. The swan's escaped.

383
00:24:18,440 --> 00:24:19,839
- The swan's escaped?
- Yeah.

384
00:24:19,920 --> 00:24:22,036
Right. And where has the swan
escaped from exactly?

385
00:24:22,120 --> 00:24:23,951
- The castle.
- Oh, yeah? And who might you be?

386
00:24:24,040 --> 00:24:27,237
Mr. Staker. Yeah, Mr. Peter Ian Staker.

387
00:24:27,320 --> 00:24:30,278
P.I. Staker. Right. Piss taker. Come on!

388
00:24:30,440 --> 00:24:34,115
Yes, Mr. Staker. We'll do everything we can.
Can you describe it to me?

389
00:24:34,200 --> 00:24:35,997
It's about two foot tall.

390
00:24:36,080 --> 00:24:38,435
- Long slender neck.
- Yeah.

391
00:24:38,520 --> 00:24:41,273
- Kind of orange and black bill.
- Anything else?

392
00:24:42,280 --> 00:24:43,679
Well, it's a swan.

393
00:24:51,320 --> 00:24:52,594
That's just gonna scare it.

394
00:24:57,760 --> 00:25:02,356
- No luck catching them swans then?
- It's just the one swan, actually.

395
00:25:05,000 --> 00:25:08,470
- Want anything from the shop?
- You've just been to the shop.

396
00:25:09,040 --> 00:25:10,519
I was thinking of a different shop.

397
00:25:10,600 --> 00:25:13,068
Constable Butterman,
this is not the time for personal errands.

398
00:25:13,160 --> 00:25:16,630
- Well, there's nothing going on, is there?
- There is always something going on.

399
00:25:16,720 --> 00:25:20,474
You have to look closer, all right?
What about this guy?

400
00:25:21,200 --> 00:25:22,428
- Mr. Treacher?
- Yeah.

401
00:25:22,520 --> 00:25:24,511
Why has he got that big coat on?

402
00:25:24,600 --> 00:25:28,275
He can't be cold. Why the extra layer?
Maybe he's trying to hide something.

403
00:25:28,840 --> 00:25:30,239
Mr. Treacher?

404
00:25:31,160 --> 00:25:32,434
Okay. What about this guy?

405
00:25:32,520 --> 00:25:34,875
Ask yourself, why has he got his hat
pulled down like that?

406
00:25:34,960 --> 00:25:38,111
- He's fuck ugly.
- Or he doesn't want you to see his face.

407
00:25:38,200 --> 00:25:40,156
Because he's fuck ugly.

408
00:25:40,560 --> 00:25:42,232
Okay, what's his story?

409
00:25:42,320 --> 00:25:43,719
- Oh, that's Lurch.
- Go on.

410
00:25:43,800 --> 00:25:45,995
- He's a trolley boy at the local supermarket.
- Good.

411
00:25:46,080 --> 00:25:47,832
Real name, Michael Armstrong.

412
00:25:47,920 --> 00:25:50,036
- Dad says he's got a child's mind.
- Okay.

413
00:25:50,120 --> 00:25:52,156
And lives up Summer Street
with his mum and his sister.

414
00:25:52,240 --> 00:25:53,434
And are they as big as he is?

415
00:25:53,520 --> 00:25:56,034
- Who?
- The mum and the sister.

416
00:25:56,120 --> 00:25:57,553
Same person.

417
00:25:58,880 --> 00:26:00,199
What shop were you thinking of?

418
00:26:21,280 --> 00:26:24,636
Sergeant Angel to the Manager's office.

419
00:26:24,720 --> 00:26:27,678
Manager's office. Sergeant Angel.

420
00:26:30,280 --> 00:26:34,273
Sergeant Angel. Or is it Angle?

421
00:26:35,920 --> 00:26:38,832
Mr. Skinner, a baby's sicked up in aisle six.

422
00:26:39,680 --> 00:26:42,148
Please excuse me. Michael!

423
00:26:42,240 --> 00:26:43,355
Yarp.

424
00:26:43,440 --> 00:26:46,750
- Child vomit. Aisle six. Mop it up.
- Yarp.

425
00:26:46,840 --> 00:26:49,912
- Mr. Skinner, is there a problem?
- No, no, no, no.

426
00:26:50,000 --> 00:26:54,073
I simply wanted to say how lovely it is
to see you supporting your local store.

427
00:26:54,160 --> 00:26:55,354
Well, that's quite all right.

428
00:26:55,440 --> 00:26:59,513
All too many have defected
to the big Megamart in Buford Abbey.

429
00:26:59,600 --> 00:27:03,878
May their heads be struck
from their shoulders for such disloyalty.

430
00:27:03,960 --> 00:27:06,872
Yes, well, I am on duty,
so if you'll excuse me.

431
00:27:06,960 --> 00:27:10,316
Of course. I simply spied you loitering
in organic produce

432
00:27:10,400 --> 00:27:12,914
and assumed you had time on your hands.

433
00:27:16,240 --> 00:27:18,549
Well, maybe I'm not the one
you should be keeping an eye on.

434
00:27:19,000 --> 00:27:21,753
That's the Fridge Magnate.
His name's George Merchant.

435
00:27:21,840 --> 00:27:25,913
Made a fortune in kitchen goods.
Built that monstrosity on Norris Avenue.

436
00:27:26,680 --> 00:27:28,989
Actually, I wasn't talking about him.

437
00:27:29,680 --> 00:27:32,319
I was talking about him.

438
00:27:33,360 --> 00:27:34,759
Excuse me.

439
00:27:40,280 --> 00:27:41,269
Excuse me.

440
00:27:50,800 --> 00:27:53,758
"Meet the cop that can't be stopped."

441
00:28:10,080 --> 00:28:11,308
Tosser!

442
00:28:13,280 --> 00:28:14,759
Trouble in the high street.

443
00:28:14,840 --> 00:28:16,432
Sergeant Angel's having a spot of bother.

444
00:28:16,520 --> 00:28:17,669
Roger that.

445
00:28:27,640 --> 00:28:28,868
Morning, Sergeant.

446
00:28:35,920 --> 00:28:37,114
You mothers.

447
00:28:40,800 --> 00:28:45,271
- Let's cut through here. Head him off.
- Through the gardens?

448
00:28:45,360 --> 00:28:47,874
What's the matter, Danny?
You never taken a shortcut before.

449
00:29:30,320 --> 00:29:31,992
Hey, give me that!

450
00:29:38,240 --> 00:29:40,151
"You do not have to say anything,
however it may harm your defense

451
00:29:40,240 --> 00:29:42,834
"if you fail to mention when questioned
something you later rely on in court.

452
00:29:42,920 --> 00:29:44,911
"Anything you do say
can be given in evidence."

453
00:29:45,000 --> 00:29:46,592
- Hi, Danny.
- All right, Pete?

454
00:29:46,680 --> 00:29:47,749
Do you know this man?

455
00:29:47,840 --> 00:29:49,478
Yeah, he's Auntie Jackie's
sister's brother's boy.

456
00:29:49,560 --> 00:29:51,357
And it didn't occur to you
to mention this before?

457
00:29:51,440 --> 00:29:54,159
Couldn't see his face, could I?
I'm not made of eyes.

458
00:30:04,320 --> 00:30:06,072
Impressive collar.

459
00:30:06,160 --> 00:30:08,594
Shame Mr. Skinner
doesn't want to press charges.

460
00:30:08,680 --> 00:30:10,079
What do you mean,
he doesn't wanna press charges?

461
00:30:10,160 --> 00:30:13,835
I'm simply suggesting that, you know,
Peter be given a second chance

462
00:30:13,920 --> 00:30:16,753
before he becomes
just another crime statistic.

463
00:30:16,840 --> 00:30:19,559
I'm sure he's going to learn
a valuable lesson.

464
00:30:19,640 --> 00:30:23,189
- Stealing biscuits is wrong?
- Correct.

465
00:30:23,280 --> 00:30:24,315
Thanks.

466
00:30:24,400 --> 00:30:27,153
And yet we respond by not taking
a single punitive measure?

467
00:30:27,240 --> 00:30:30,073
Well, that's the way the cookie crumbles.

468
00:30:30,160 --> 00:30:31,991
Like the biscuits, isn't it?

469
00:30:32,080 --> 00:30:34,833
- Mr. Skinner...
- Is everything all right?

470
00:30:34,960 --> 00:30:39,750
Well, sir, Mr. Skinner feels it would
be better not to prosecute an individual

471
00:30:39,840 --> 00:30:41,831
that has committed a blatant offense.

472
00:30:41,920 --> 00:30:43,319
Leave this with me.

473
00:30:43,400 --> 00:30:46,437
I'll make sure everyone gets
their just deserts.

474
00:30:46,520 --> 00:30:48,317
Oh, no!

475
00:30:51,040 --> 00:30:52,473
Twenty-seven.

476
00:30:52,560 --> 00:30:55,950
- Have you ever seen Point Break?
- No.

477
00:30:56,040 --> 00:30:58,270
Amazing bit in Point Break
where they jump over fences.

478
00:30:58,360 --> 00:31:00,191
Is there now? Twenty-nine.

479
00:31:00,280 --> 00:31:03,113
Patrick Swayze's just robbed this bank
and Keanu Reeves is chasing him

480
00:31:03,200 --> 00:31:05,998
through people's gardens,
and he goes to shoot Swayze but he can't,

481
00:31:06,080 --> 00:31:07,195
'cause he loves him so much,

482
00:31:07,280 --> 00:31:09,350
and he's firing his gun up in the air,
he's like...

483
00:31:09,440 --> 00:31:10,793
Forty.

484
00:31:10,880 --> 00:31:12,598
Have you ever fired your gun up
in the air and gone...

485
00:31:12,680 --> 00:31:15,877
No, I have not ever fired my gun
up in the air and gone...

486
00:31:15,960 --> 00:31:17,359
Thirty.

487
00:31:17,440 --> 00:31:20,989
Sorry, I... I just...
I just feel like I'm missing out sometimes.

488
00:31:21,080 --> 00:31:23,958
- I wanna do what you do.
- You do, do what I do.

489
00:31:24,040 --> 00:31:25,758
What on earth
do you think you're missing out on?

490
00:31:25,840 --> 00:31:29,150
Gun fights. Car chases.
Proper action and shit.

491
00:31:29,240 --> 00:31:32,516
Police work is not about
proper action or shit.

492
00:31:33,280 --> 00:31:34,633
Twenty-nine.

493
00:31:34,720 --> 00:31:35,994
If you had paid attention to me in school,

494
00:31:36,080 --> 00:31:39,117
you'd understand that it's not all about
gun fights and car chases.

495
00:31:40,520 --> 00:31:41,748
Fire up the roof.

496
00:31:46,200 --> 00:31:47,838
That was brilliant.

497
00:31:50,440 --> 00:31:52,829
Was I going a tad fast, Officer?

498
00:31:53,320 --> 00:31:55,311
Yes, you were, Mr. Blower.

499
00:31:55,400 --> 00:31:58,517
Well, now, you see,
we are staging a homage

500
00:31:58,600 --> 00:32:02,513
to William Shakespeare's Romeo and Juliet
and I'm a little late for the dress rehearsal.

501
00:32:02,600 --> 00:32:05,512
I'm playing the eponymous hero, you see.

502
00:32:05,720 --> 00:32:07,312
Romeo not Juliet.

503
00:32:09,560 --> 00:32:12,199
- What are you writing?
- Everything you're saying.

504
00:32:12,280 --> 00:32:13,633
I might need to refer to it later.

505
00:32:13,720 --> 00:32:17,633
Now, Officer, I am a respected solicitor
so there's no need to...

506
00:32:17,840 --> 00:32:19,193
Just stop writing, will you?

507
00:32:19,280 --> 00:32:24,274
Look, I'm merely trying to explain
why I might have exceeded the speed limit.

508
00:32:24,360 --> 00:32:27,033
You're playing the male lead
in a homage to William Shakespeare's

509
00:32:27,120 --> 00:32:29,918
Romeo and Juliet
and you're late for the dress rehearsal.

510
00:32:30,000 --> 00:32:32,753
You think this is sufficient reason
to travel at 48 in a 30 zone?

511
00:32:32,840 --> 00:32:34,592
- Well, I...
- To flout speed limits

512
00:32:34,680 --> 00:32:38,559
- specifically put in place to save lives.
- Just, look, this is preposterous.

513
00:32:38,640 --> 00:32:42,269
- "Preposterous."
- Look, just stop writing!

514
00:32:42,360 --> 00:32:44,430
"Stop writing."

515
00:32:46,080 --> 00:32:49,959
Look, you're right, I apologize.

516
00:32:51,320 --> 00:32:53,550
- See what I did there?
- You hypnotized him.

517
00:32:53,640 --> 00:32:54,993
No, I used this.

518
00:32:55,080 --> 00:32:57,469
This is the most important piece
of equipment you will ever own.

519
00:32:57,560 --> 00:33:00,313
This notebook has saved my skin
more times than I care to mention.

520
00:33:00,400 --> 00:33:01,879
You should think
about using yours more often.

521
00:33:01,960 --> 00:33:03,871
- I do use mine.
- Show me.

522
00:33:09,080 --> 00:33:12,072
- That's just extraordinary.
- You should see the one on the other side.

523
00:33:17,880 --> 00:33:20,758
- What are you up to tonight?
- I have to water my Peace Lily.

524
00:33:20,840 --> 00:33:22,319
Thought you might wanna do something.

525
00:33:22,400 --> 00:33:25,392
- What exactly were you thinking?
- Don't know. Pub?

526
00:33:25,560 --> 00:33:28,597
I don't think that's a good idea. Do you?

527
00:33:31,480 --> 00:33:32,913
You two.

528
00:33:33,080 --> 00:33:37,278
A Mr. Blower left you tickets
for Romeo and Juliet tonight.

529
00:33:37,360 --> 00:33:38,679
Said it was by way of an apology.

530
00:33:38,760 --> 00:33:40,239
- Yeah?
- Yeah.

531
00:33:40,640 --> 00:33:44,519
Well, we can't accept gifts from somebody
we've officially rebuked. So...

532
00:33:44,960 --> 00:33:46,109
Yeah.

533
00:33:47,400 --> 00:33:48,913
Nicholas. Glad I caught you.

534
00:33:49,000 --> 00:33:52,595
Wondered if you wouldn't mind
representing us at the am drams tonight.

535
00:33:52,680 --> 00:33:55,478
- Yes, sir, of course.
- And there's a spare for Danny, too.

536
00:33:55,560 --> 00:33:58,836
Yeah! Hey, come on, it might be fun.

537
00:34:05,160 --> 00:34:06,160
A dateless bargain to engrossing death.

538
00:34:06,195 --> 00:34:08,799
Here's to my love.

539
00:34:15,400 --> 00:34:16,515
Now.

540
00:34:21,120 --> 00:34:24,510
Poison? I'll kiss thy lips.

541
00:34:25,400 --> 00:34:28,358
Happily some poison
doth yet hang on them.

542
00:34:35,720 --> 00:34:36,835
Bang!

543
00:34:54,920 --> 00:34:58,037
Sergeant Angel, hi-hi.
Quick word for the Sandford Citizen.

544
00:34:58,680 --> 00:34:59,908
It was very enjoyable.

545
00:35:00,000 --> 00:35:02,150
- "Cop Enjoys Watching Young Lovers"?
- I don't think so.

546
00:35:02,240 --> 00:35:03,798
"Local Bobby Gives Thumbs Up
To Teen Suicide"?

547
00:35:03,880 --> 00:35:05,393
That's just grossly inappropriate.

548
00:35:06,040 --> 00:35:09,316
You will try and spell his name
correctly this time, won't you, Timothy?

549
00:35:09,400 --> 00:35:11,755
Absolute tosh, wasn't it?

550
00:35:12,040 --> 00:35:15,953
And annoyingly, the understudies
are actually professional actors.

551
00:35:16,120 --> 00:35:18,475
Greg over there was an extra in Straw Dogs

552
00:35:18,560 --> 00:35:20,357
and Sheree portrayed a cadaver
in Prime Suspect.

553
00:35:20,440 --> 00:35:22,510
Sergeant Angel, you came?

554
00:35:22,600 --> 00:35:25,831
So thrilled you accepted my invitation.

555
00:35:25,920 --> 00:35:28,753
Well, our Inspector
requested we attend. So...

556
00:35:28,840 --> 00:35:33,436
Yeah, we can't accept gifts from
someone we've officially rebuked so...

557
00:35:33,520 --> 00:35:34,794
Jog on.

558
00:35:35,440 --> 00:35:38,512
Congratulations to you and to Mrs. Blower.

559
00:35:40,680 --> 00:35:45,276
Oh, this is not my wife.
This is Miss Draper. My leading lady.

560
00:35:45,560 --> 00:35:49,872
Eve works in the local council, Sergeant.
Quite the lady in the know.

561
00:35:49,960 --> 00:35:52,793
- I am not.
- Nonsense.

562
00:35:52,880 --> 00:35:58,352
I'm sure if we bashed your head in, all sorts
of secrets would come tumbling out.

563
00:36:00,440 --> 00:36:04,558
Romeo, Romeo, a pint of bitter for Romeo?

564
00:36:04,640 --> 00:36:06,437
Thank you very much for coming, George.
Excuse us.

565
00:36:06,520 --> 00:36:08,556
A pleasure, my liege.

566
00:36:08,640 --> 00:36:11,916
- Eve's nice, ain't she?
- She certainly has a distinctive laugh.

567
00:36:12,000 --> 00:36:15,276
She was in my year at school.
Always had a thing for her.

568
00:36:16,040 --> 00:36:17,917
She clearly has a thing for older men.

569
00:36:19,000 --> 00:36:21,195
What, with Martin Blower? No way!

570
00:36:21,680 --> 00:36:24,240
We just sat through three hours
of so-called acting, Constable,

571
00:36:24,320 --> 00:36:26,959
their kiss was
the only convincing moment in it.

572
00:36:27,040 --> 00:36:28,632
Hey, now you come to mention it,

573
00:36:28,720 --> 00:36:31,234
I too have reason to believe
she favors the older gent.

574
00:36:31,320 --> 00:36:32,389
Really? How so?

575
00:36:32,480 --> 00:36:35,438
Marcus Carter's big brother said
he'd fingered her up the duck pond.

576
00:36:38,800 --> 00:36:40,392
Oh, Officers.

577
00:36:40,480 --> 00:36:43,950
Again let me extend
my sincere apologies for earlier.

578
00:36:44,040 --> 00:36:47,271
That's quite all right, Mr. Blower. Drive safe.

579
00:36:52,280 --> 00:36:55,317
"Drive safe." Oh, my God.

580
00:36:55,400 --> 00:36:57,675
You know that's the bloke
we done for speeding earlier.

581
00:36:57,760 --> 00:37:00,558
Yeah. Hopefully,
that's the last we'll see of him.

582
00:37:12,400 --> 00:37:13,674
Who is it?

583
00:37:18,080 --> 00:37:19,149
We haven't got long.

584
00:37:21,040 --> 00:37:22,189
To us.

585
00:37:24,320 --> 00:37:25,514
Who is it?

586
00:37:36,920 --> 00:37:38,194
Yeah?

587
00:37:40,960 --> 00:37:42,712
- ...decaffeinated?
- Decaffeinated?

588
00:37:47,120 --> 00:37:50,078
Little Brian Libby found them,
out on his paper round.

589
00:37:50,840 --> 00:37:53,559
Oh, he'll be having nightmares for a while.

590
00:37:54,000 --> 00:37:57,754
Must have hit the sign at some speed.
Took the whole top off.

591
00:37:57,840 --> 00:38:00,752
- I've had my top off in this lay-by.
- Tits.

592
00:38:00,840 --> 00:38:07,109
Most likely lost control,
left the road there and then ended up here.

593
00:38:08,720 --> 00:38:12,872
So, what do we reckon?

594
00:38:13,640 --> 00:38:15,039
Sergeant Angel?

595
00:38:15,600 --> 00:38:18,319
Well, we should get a proper cordon off,
screen the remains from public view.

596
00:38:18,400 --> 00:38:20,038
Close down the road
until the ambulance crew arrives,

597
00:38:20,120 --> 00:38:23,317
whereupon we should open
a single lane of traffic and ease congestion.

598
00:38:23,840 --> 00:38:25,114
Very good.

599
00:38:25,760 --> 00:38:26,795
What he said.

600
00:38:31,960 --> 00:38:33,996
- What happened, Danny?
- Car accident.

601
00:38:34,080 --> 00:38:35,752
Nasty way to go.

602
00:38:36,560 --> 00:38:38,471
Constable, official vocab guidelines state

603
00:38:38,560 --> 00:38:41,518
we no longer refer to these incidents
as "accidents," they're now "collisions."

604
00:38:41,600 --> 00:38:42,635
Right.

605
00:38:42,720 --> 00:38:48,590
"For never was there a story of more woe.
Than this of Juliet and her Romeo."

606
00:38:48,880 --> 00:38:52,395
- Excuse me?
- Martin and Eve. Such a tragedy.

607
00:38:52,480 --> 00:38:53,993
Mr. Skinner, do you mind telling me

608
00:38:54,080 --> 00:38:56,196
how you know the identity
of the persons involved?

609
00:38:56,280 --> 00:38:59,590
You know how it is. News travels fast.

610
00:38:59,800 --> 00:39:03,759
A love struck Romeo
sings a streetsus serenade

611
00:39:04,360 --> 00:39:06,635
- What happened, Danny?
- Traffic collision.

612
00:39:07,840 --> 00:39:09,671
Hey, why can't we say "accident" again?

613
00:39:09,760 --> 00:39:12,115
Because "accident" implies
there's nobody to blame.

614
00:39:13,560 --> 00:39:14,913
Put a sock in it, town mouse.

615
00:39:15,000 --> 00:39:18,595
Yeah, you wanna be a big cop in
a small town, fuck off up the model village.

616
00:39:18,680 --> 00:39:20,989
I'm just saying,
things aren't always as simple as they look.

617
00:39:21,080 --> 00:39:22,832
Most times they are.

618
00:39:22,920 --> 00:39:25,559
Let's just wait till Doctor Hatcher
comes back with something,

619
00:39:25,640 --> 00:39:28,108
before you go jumping the Kalashnikov.

620
00:39:28,200 --> 00:39:31,192
All right, in the meantime, why don't you
check out a few of Martin Blower's clients?

621
00:39:31,280 --> 00:39:34,033
Martin Blower represents
damn near most of the village.

622
00:39:34,120 --> 00:39:35,599
Did you want us to go through
the whole phone book?

623
00:39:35,680 --> 00:39:38,353
Yeah, or put a call into Aaron A. Aaronson,
shall we?

624
00:39:38,440 --> 00:39:39,714
Please, don't be childish.

625
00:39:39,800 --> 00:39:41,028
At least consider interviewing the widow.

626
00:39:41,120 --> 00:39:43,111
Martin Blower was clearly having
an affair with Eve Draper.

627
00:39:43,200 --> 00:39:46,476
Oh, and how did you establish that?

628
00:39:46,560 --> 00:39:49,199
'Cause we sat through three hours
of so-called acting last night,

629
00:39:49,280 --> 00:39:51,589
and the kiss was
the only convincing moment in it.

630
00:39:51,680 --> 00:39:53,671
All right, pipe down, big one.

631
00:39:53,760 --> 00:39:56,194
Here, what else you got,
Crockett and Tubby?

632
00:39:56,280 --> 00:39:58,589
- Skid marks.
- Now who's being childish?

633
00:39:58,680 --> 00:40:00,432
There were no skid marks at the scene.

634
00:40:00,520 --> 00:40:03,353
Doesn't it seem a little strange that
Martin Blower would lose control of his car

635
00:40:03,440 --> 00:40:05,271
and not think to apply the brakes?

636
00:40:05,880 --> 00:40:07,108
If there were no skid marks it follows

637
00:40:07,200 --> 00:40:10,954
that for 300 yards both driver and passenger
did nothing to prevent their fate.

638
00:40:11,040 --> 00:40:12,951
You don't have to be a detective
to work that out!

639
00:40:13,040 --> 00:40:14,155
Yeah.

640
00:40:14,240 --> 00:40:17,198
- Are you causing trouble?
- Yes, they are.

641
00:40:17,280 --> 00:40:20,352
Well, a spot of bother up at Ellroy Farm.

642
00:40:20,440 --> 00:40:23,796
Old Arthur Webley's been clipping
hedgerows that don't belong to him.

643
00:40:23,880 --> 00:40:25,518
- Yes, sir?
- That's it.

644
00:40:26,480 --> 00:40:27,549
Yes, sir.

645
00:40:33,280 --> 00:40:36,477
- Why do we need the dog?
- It's not the dog we need.

646
00:40:43,920 --> 00:40:44,955
Right.

647
00:40:45,040 --> 00:40:46,109
What did he say?

648
00:40:51,760 --> 00:40:53,352
- What did he say?
- He said, "An 'edge is an 'edge.

649
00:40:53,440 --> 00:40:54,953
"He only chopped it down
'cause it spoilt his view.

650
00:40:55,040 --> 00:40:56,393
"What's Reaper moaning about?"

651
00:40:56,480 --> 00:40:57,515
Right.

652
00:40:57,600 --> 00:40:58,874
Look, I appreciate your position,
Mr. Webley,

653
00:40:58,960 --> 00:41:01,997
but you can't go around chopping down
other people's hedges without permission.

654
00:41:03,960 --> 00:41:05,234
"Yes, I suppose."

655
00:41:05,320 --> 00:41:06,389
Thank you.

656
00:41:07,120 --> 00:41:08,553
All right.

657
00:41:10,160 --> 00:41:12,879
Mr. Webley,
I trust you have a license for that firearm?

658
00:41:15,160 --> 00:41:16,673
He does for this one.

659
00:41:18,360 --> 00:41:19,759
What do you mean by "this one"?

660
00:41:32,800 --> 00:41:35,360
By the power of Grey Skull.

661
00:41:35,440 --> 00:41:37,317
Where on earth did you get these?

662
00:41:37,400 --> 00:41:39,231
- Found them.
- He found them!

663
00:41:39,320 --> 00:41:42,756
- And what is this?
- Sea mine.

664
00:41:42,840 --> 00:41:44,319
Sea mine.

665
00:41:44,560 --> 00:41:46,994
Well, Mr. Webley,
this is an extremely dangerous collection.

666
00:41:47,080 --> 00:41:48,513
It's a wonder nobody's been hurt before.

667
00:41:48,600 --> 00:41:50,511
No, it's just a lot of junk.

668
00:42:02,200 --> 00:42:04,191
Move, move, move!

669
00:42:24,320 --> 00:42:27,073
- You what?
- No, apparently it's been deactivated. Over.

670
00:42:27,160 --> 00:42:29,151
That's right, deactivated!

671
00:42:29,240 --> 00:42:31,071
- It's not live.
- It looks live.

672
00:42:31,160 --> 00:42:32,195
All right.

673
00:42:54,280 --> 00:42:56,510
That was quite an impressive haul today,
Constable Butterman.

674
00:42:56,600 --> 00:42:59,876
Well, you know, I mean, maybe
we should do something to celebrate.

675
00:42:59,960 --> 00:43:01,313
Unless you gotta water your Peace Lily.

676
00:43:01,400 --> 00:43:04,676
- What exactly did you have in mind?
- I don't know. Pub?

677
00:43:10,120 --> 00:43:11,678
Right you are, my love.

678
00:43:11,760 --> 00:43:13,751
Yes, sirs, what can I get you?

679
00:43:13,840 --> 00:43:15,353
Pint of lager, please, Roy.

680
00:43:15,440 --> 00:43:16,998
And what can I get you
that isn't a cranberry juice?

681
00:43:17,080 --> 00:43:19,594
- I don't really wanna get drunk.
- You can get a little drunk.

682
00:43:19,680 --> 00:43:22,274
- Okay, I'll have one.
- Yeah, that's what I'm talking about.

683
00:43:22,600 --> 00:43:24,511
Mr. Porter, what's your wine selection?

684
00:43:24,600 --> 00:43:29,037
Oh, we got red or white.

685
00:43:30,200 --> 00:43:33,237
- I'll have a pint of lager, please.
- Yeah, Roy.

686
00:43:38,080 --> 00:43:42,198
- Any news from earlier?
- Yeah. CSI found nothing.

687
00:43:42,280 --> 00:43:46,592
Doctor Hatcher reported no misadventure
and Mrs. Blower has four alibis.

688
00:43:46,680 --> 00:43:52,391
Now, come on, Sergeant, it's not your job
to investigate this incident, is it?

689
00:43:53,160 --> 00:43:54,275
Is it?

690
00:43:54,360 --> 00:43:56,715
- No, it isn't.
- No, it isn't.

691
00:43:59,160 --> 00:44:02,277
- You don't switch off, do you?
- You sound like my ex.

692
00:44:02,880 --> 00:44:06,270
- Well, you are always thinking away.
- It's what I do.

693
00:44:06,360 --> 00:44:09,636
- Don't get me wrong. I think it's amazing.
- Really?

694
00:44:09,720 --> 00:44:12,234
I mean,
what made you wanna be a policeman?

695
00:44:12,320 --> 00:44:13,355
Officer.

696
00:44:13,440 --> 00:44:15,908
What made you wanna be
a policeman-officer?

697
00:44:18,360 --> 00:44:21,636
I don't remember a time
when I didn't wanna be a police officer.

698
00:44:21,720 --> 00:44:25,315
Apart from the summer of 1979
when I wanted to be Kermit the Frog.

699
00:44:26,280 --> 00:44:30,114
It all started with my Uncle Derek.
He was a Sergeant in the Met.

700
00:44:30,200 --> 00:44:32,998
He bought me a police pedal car
when I was five.

701
00:44:33,080 --> 00:44:35,116
I rode round in it every second I was awake.

702
00:44:35,200 --> 00:44:38,431
Arresting kids twice my size
for littering and spitting.

703
00:44:38,520 --> 00:44:41,478
I got beaten up a lot when I was young
but it didn't stop me.

704
00:44:41,560 --> 00:44:43,391
I wanted to be like Uncle Derek.

705
00:44:43,480 --> 00:44:44,515
He sounds like a good bloke.

706
00:44:44,600 --> 00:44:46,830
Actually, he was arrested
for selling drugs to students.

707
00:44:46,920 --> 00:44:47,989
What a cunt.

708
00:44:48,080 --> 00:44:50,389
Probably bought the pedal car
with the proceeds.

709
00:44:50,480 --> 00:44:53,631
Needless to say I never went near it again.
I just let it rust.

710
00:44:53,720 --> 00:44:55,676
But I never forgot
the clear sense of right and wrong

711
00:44:55,760 --> 00:44:57,671
that I felt at the wheel of that pedal car.

712
00:44:57,760 --> 00:45:00,274
I had to prove to myself
that the law could be proper

713
00:45:00,360 --> 00:45:02,635
and righteous
and for the good of humankind.

714
00:45:02,720 --> 00:45:06,190
It was from that moment,
I was destined to be a police officer.

715
00:45:06,800 --> 00:45:08,711
- Shame.
- How so?

716
00:45:08,800 --> 00:45:11,234
I think you would've made a great muppet.

717
00:45:14,720 --> 00:45:17,473
What about you? What made you
wanna become a police officer?

718
00:45:17,840 --> 00:45:20,832
I don't know. Dad does it.

719
00:45:20,920 --> 00:45:24,913
I think after my mum died, it's what
he wanted, you know, keep me close by.

720
00:45:25,000 --> 00:45:28,834
- Do you mind if I ask how she died?
- Traffic collision.

721
00:45:29,600 --> 00:45:30,919
I'm sorry.

722
00:45:32,040 --> 00:45:34,156
Never mind. Hey, watch this.

723
00:45:35,440 --> 00:45:37,749
- Jesus Christ!
- Oh, my eye!

724
00:45:39,360 --> 00:45:40,475
Ta-da!

725
00:45:40,560 --> 00:45:42,312
Hey, come on, silly bollocks, get them in.

726
00:45:54,160 --> 00:45:56,833
- 777.
- Mr. Skinner.

727
00:45:56,920 --> 00:45:59,388
- You know George Merchant, don't you?
- Evening, Officer.

728
00:45:59,480 --> 00:46:02,278
Yes, we were just discussing the accident.

729
00:46:02,360 --> 00:46:05,636
I'd come to know Martin
and Eve very well of late.

730
00:46:05,720 --> 00:46:07,199
Such a loss.

731
00:46:07,280 --> 00:46:09,635
What say we drink to their demise?

732
00:46:09,720 --> 00:46:11,199
Shouldn't that be "drink to their memories"?

733
00:46:11,280 --> 00:46:13,430
Of course. Cheers.

734
00:46:13,520 --> 00:46:15,272
I must go to the little boys' room.

735
00:46:16,600 --> 00:46:19,239
- I'm all right!
- "Little" being the operative word.

736
00:46:19,800 --> 00:46:22,268
Oh, he'll be in bits tomorrow.

737
00:46:30,720 --> 00:46:33,280
I think somebody needs to go home.

738
00:46:33,360 --> 00:46:36,989
- I'm... I'm not that drunk, sir.
- Not you. Him.

739
00:46:39,000 --> 00:46:40,274
What?

740
00:46:41,480 --> 00:46:45,189
Hey, we did get a little drunk.
Did you get it?

741
00:46:45,280 --> 00:46:47,874
'Cause he's... He's little and he's drunk.

742
00:46:49,640 --> 00:46:51,471
Oh, good grief.

743
00:46:51,800 --> 00:46:54,633
It's hardly in keeping
with the village's rustic esthetic, is it?

744
00:46:56,440 --> 00:46:58,829
- How much do I owe you?
- Twenty quid.

745
00:46:58,920 --> 00:47:00,831
There you go.

746
00:47:01,320 --> 00:47:03,436
- And there's your change.
- God bless you.

747
00:47:04,080 --> 00:47:05,274
Bye-bye.

748
00:47:08,200 --> 00:47:09,713
I'm all right.

749
00:47:12,840 --> 00:47:14,592
I would not wanna be him in the morning.

750
00:47:25,040 --> 00:47:27,998
Well, this is me.

751
00:47:28,560 --> 00:47:32,155
Well, I shall see you in the morning.

752
00:47:32,240 --> 00:47:34,993
Unless you wanna come in
for a cup of coffee?

753
00:47:35,080 --> 00:47:37,640
- I don't drink coffee.
- Tea?

754
00:47:37,720 --> 00:47:39,676
No caffeine after midday.

755
00:47:40,400 --> 00:47:42,197
How about another beer?

756
00:47:49,600 --> 00:47:50,715
Oh, dear.

757
00:47:56,800 --> 00:47:59,997
- When did you move in?
- About five years ago.

758
00:48:01,160 --> 00:48:03,754
- You should get some house plants.
- Oh, yeah, yeah.

759
00:48:03,840 --> 00:48:06,559
Yeah. I've been tending my Peace Lily
for about three years now.

760
00:48:08,080 --> 00:48:11,470
It oxygenates the room,
helps you think, relieves stress.

761
00:48:11,560 --> 00:48:13,312
Its needs are simple.

762
00:48:17,440 --> 00:48:20,477
Janine used to say I love my Lily
more than I loved her.

763
00:48:20,560 --> 00:48:22,710
- Is that why you split up?
- What?

764
00:48:23,600 --> 00:48:26,876
- 'Cause you did it with a plant?
- No, no, no.

765
00:48:26,960 --> 00:48:30,350
It was more about me being
obsessed with the job.

766
00:48:30,640 --> 00:48:32,870
That's good though, right?

767
00:48:33,360 --> 00:48:34,759
Is it though?

768
00:48:34,840 --> 00:48:39,914
I did miss a few dinners.
You know, parties, a birthday or two.

769
00:48:40,000 --> 00:48:42,912
- Listen, mate, I...
- Her dad's funeral.

770
00:48:44,000 --> 00:48:48,232
- I just wanna be good at what I do.
- You are good at what you do.

771
00:48:49,760 --> 00:48:53,912
You've just gotta learn to switch off
that big old melon of yours.

772
00:48:55,880 --> 00:48:57,871
That's the whole problem, Danny.

773
00:49:01,120 --> 00:49:03,031
I don't think I know how.

774
00:49:03,920 --> 00:49:05,831
I can show you how.

775
00:49:11,600 --> 00:49:14,160
By the power of Grey Skull.

776
00:49:14,880 --> 00:49:17,189
Point Break or Bad Boys II?

777
00:49:17,280 --> 00:49:18,554
Which one do you think I'll prefer?

778
00:49:18,640 --> 00:49:20,676
No, I mean which one
do you wanna watch first?

779
00:49:20,760 --> 00:49:21,909
You are pulling my leg?

780
00:50:01,280 --> 00:50:03,191
What did you think of that?

781
00:50:03,280 --> 00:50:05,953
Well, I won't argue
that it was a no holds barred,

782
00:50:06,040 --> 00:50:08,952
adrenalin fueled thrill ride
but there's no way you could perpetrate

783
00:50:09,040 --> 00:50:13,113
that amount of carnage and mayhem and not
incur a considerable amount of paperwork.

784
00:50:13,200 --> 00:50:14,474
That is nothing, man.

785
00:50:14,560 --> 00:50:16,152
This is about to go off.

786
00:50:31,600 --> 00:50:33,113
This shit just got real.

787
00:50:36,840 --> 00:50:38,512
Nasty way to go.

788
00:50:38,600 --> 00:50:42,434
I think our Mr. Merchant tried to have
a little fry up and left the gas on.

789
00:50:44,200 --> 00:50:47,237
Spends his whole life
devoted to the refrigerator

790
00:50:47,480 --> 00:50:49,755
then gets killed by an oven.

791
00:50:50,720 --> 00:50:53,871
I told him several times,
you shouldn't eat late at night.

792
00:50:53,960 --> 00:50:56,758
Oh, I don't know.
I quite like a little midnight gobble.

793
00:50:56,840 --> 00:50:57,989
Cocks.

794
00:50:58,080 --> 00:51:01,595
So, what do we reckon? Angel?

795
00:51:02,880 --> 00:51:03,949
Help me.

796
00:51:04,480 --> 00:51:07,870
Okay, we get a proper cordon up,
we let the fire crews finish their stuff,

797
00:51:07,960 --> 00:51:10,599
and then we get forensics in
to do a thorough sweep of the house.

798
00:51:10,680 --> 00:51:13,274
Very good. What he said.

799
00:51:13,360 --> 00:51:15,396
Sergeant Angel, hi-hi. A quick word?

800
00:51:15,480 --> 00:51:17,710
Mr. Messenger,
a statement will be issued shortly.

801
00:51:17,800 --> 00:51:20,360
Actually, I just wanted to ask,
"What's your perfect Sunday?"

802
00:51:20,440 --> 00:51:22,715
I'll deal with the press, Sergeant.

803
00:51:22,800 --> 00:51:27,555
Now, my perfect Sunday
is a lovely long lie in...

804
00:51:28,200 --> 00:51:32,637
Fire to destroy all you've done

805
00:51:36,720 --> 00:51:37,914
Like in the films.

806
00:51:38,360 --> 00:51:40,954
Something like,
something out of Backdraft.

807
00:51:42,720 --> 00:51:45,871
- What are you thinking? Foul play?
- Maybe.

808
00:51:46,320 --> 00:51:49,756
We're just hoping to talk to the last people
to see Mr. Merchant alive.

809
00:51:50,160 --> 00:51:55,029
Namely a Sergeant Knickerless Asswipe
and a Constable Fanny Batterbum.

810
00:51:55,120 --> 00:51:57,918
- That's us.
- Why is this such a big joke to you?

811
00:51:58,000 --> 00:51:59,399
Three people have died in a week.

812
00:51:59,480 --> 00:52:01,994
Oh, come on, Doctor Sherlock,
they were accidents.

813
00:52:02,080 --> 00:52:03,513
People have accidents every day.

814
00:52:03,600 --> 00:52:06,398
- The victims knew each other.
- Everyone knows everyone round here.

815
00:52:06,480 --> 00:52:09,597
Yeah. If you didn't see anything suspicious,
then who did?

816
00:52:14,720 --> 00:52:16,551
It's a bit of a blind spot, I'm afraid.

817
00:52:16,640 --> 00:52:18,790
We just catch the very edge
of the explosion.

818
00:52:18,880 --> 00:52:20,632
Nasty way to go.

819
00:52:20,720 --> 00:52:23,188
- There was something took my eye.
- Really? What's that?

820
00:52:24,000 --> 00:52:26,116
Sandford's most wanted.

821
00:52:27,920 --> 00:52:30,195
There you go. It was the swan all along.

822
00:52:30,280 --> 00:52:33,431
- This is not funny, Detective!
- Oh, give over, Miss Marples.

823
00:52:33,520 --> 00:52:35,829
Yeah, you do your job
and we'll do ours, eh?

824
00:52:35,920 --> 00:52:38,070
Yeah. Haven't you got
a church fete to look after?

825
00:52:38,160 --> 00:52:40,037
No, I have not!

826
00:52:40,960 --> 00:52:42,075
Actually.

827
00:52:47,840 --> 00:52:48,840
Testing. Testing.

828
00:52:48,875 --> 00:52:49,840
Someone's in for a surprise at 3:00,
ladies and gentlemen.

829
00:52:49,875 --> 00:52:51,831
It's the raffle with
a very special guest presenter.

830
00:52:51,920 --> 00:52:54,388
Out in the country

831
00:52:54,640 --> 00:52:58,394
Far from all the sorts of noise of the city

832
00:52:58,560 --> 00:53:00,949
There's a village green

833
00:53:01,040 --> 00:53:04,749
It's been a long time since I last set eyes

834
00:53:04,840 --> 00:53:06,876
On the church with a steeple

835
00:53:06,960 --> 00:53:09,076
That's me after a couple of pints.

836
00:53:09,240 --> 00:53:10,559
Splat the rat.

837
00:53:13,080 --> 00:53:14,752
Splat the rat.

838
00:53:16,760 --> 00:53:18,716
Splat the rat.

839
00:53:20,760 --> 00:53:22,239
Shark!

840
00:53:24,000 --> 00:53:25,877
Seen any murderings, Nicholarse?

841
00:53:25,960 --> 00:53:28,474
Come on, boys.
Leave Sergeant Angel alone, he's working.

842
00:53:28,560 --> 00:53:31,870
Sorry, Chief,
won't waste any more police time.

843
00:53:31,960 --> 00:53:33,109
Have a nice time.

844
00:53:33,200 --> 00:53:35,509
Actually, Nicholas,
you might as well take a break.

845
00:53:35,600 --> 00:53:38,273
Hey, great. I've got something to show you.

846
00:53:44,000 --> 00:53:46,833
- This is a rifle range.
- You'll be really good at it.

847
00:53:46,920 --> 00:53:49,275
Feeling lucky, Sergeant?

848
00:53:50,080 --> 00:53:54,517
Three cans wins you the squeaky bunny,
five cans gets you the floppy lion.

849
00:53:54,600 --> 00:53:59,469
Take out all the little people,
you get to waltz off with the cuddly monkey.

850
00:54:00,560 --> 00:54:03,836
I thought I made it clear to you
how I feel about firearms.

851
00:54:03,920 --> 00:54:06,150
It's only an air rifle.

852
00:54:06,440 --> 00:54:07,555
Sergeant.

853
00:54:25,440 --> 00:54:27,078
Dear Lord!

854
00:54:28,400 --> 00:54:30,391
That was amazing.

855
00:54:34,680 --> 00:54:37,478
- Thank you, Danny.
- I can't believe I shot someone.

856
00:54:37,560 --> 00:54:40,677
- He's a doctor, he can deal with it.
- I never shot anyone before.

857
00:54:40,760 --> 00:54:42,876
Danny, believe me,
it's not something you ever get used to.

858
00:54:42,960 --> 00:54:45,110
Yeah. Maybe we should
go on the bouncy castle.

859
00:54:45,200 --> 00:54:46,235
Take our minds off of it.

860
00:54:46,320 --> 00:54:48,151
- Sergeant Angel, hi-hi.
- Mr. Messenger.

861
00:54:48,240 --> 00:54:50,754
I need to talk to you
about George Merchant. Alone.

862
00:54:51,200 --> 00:54:53,350
Churchyard. 3:00.

863
00:54:54,960 --> 00:54:56,029
What do you think he wants?

864
00:54:56,120 --> 00:54:59,032
Would
Sergeant Angel come to the stage, please?

865
00:55:01,960 --> 00:55:05,748
Here to announce the winners is the newest
addition to the Sandford Police Force.

866
00:55:05,840 --> 00:55:06,909
Service.

867
00:55:07,000 --> 00:55:08,672
Sergeant Nicholas Angel.

868
00:55:11,120 --> 00:55:12,348
- Prick.
- Wanker.

869
00:55:13,600 --> 00:55:15,670
Hello. Hello.

870
00:55:32,040 --> 00:55:36,477
The first name is Simon Skinner.

871
00:55:39,360 --> 00:55:40,839
He's in the loo.

872
00:55:41,560 --> 00:55:43,835
Too much of Joyce's lemonade, perhaps.

873
00:56:05,280 --> 00:56:07,589
And the next name is...

874
00:56:22,360 --> 00:56:24,590
Tim, your number's up.

875
00:56:33,280 --> 00:56:34,838
Excuse me. Excuse me.

876
00:56:37,240 --> 00:56:38,389
Hi-hi.

877
00:56:42,720 --> 00:56:43,948
Oh, no!

878
00:56:49,080 --> 00:56:51,878
Stand back, stand back!
There's been a terrible accident.

879
00:56:51,960 --> 00:56:54,554
- Accident?
- Just an accident.

880
00:56:55,160 --> 00:56:57,799
It's all right, it's all right.
There's nothing to see.

881
00:56:57,880 --> 00:57:01,555
Come on, everybody. It's all right.
It's just an accident.

882
00:57:09,920 --> 00:57:11,478
Nicholas, what is it?

883
00:57:11,560 --> 00:57:15,439
Sir, I think all these deaths are linked.
I think Tim Messenger was murdered.

884
00:57:15,840 --> 00:57:18,877
- Who could do something like this?
- Maybe it was the swan.

885
00:57:18,960 --> 00:57:21,918
- Apparently, they can break a man's arm.
- Or blow up a man's house.

886
00:57:22,000 --> 00:57:24,833
- Listen, you pair of...
- Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, Nicholas.

887
00:57:25,320 --> 00:57:27,550
Now, let me get this straight.

888
00:57:28,520 --> 00:57:32,354
- Are you saying that this is a crime scene?
- Yes, sir, I am.

889
00:57:32,440 --> 00:57:33,759
Very well.

890
00:57:34,280 --> 00:57:35,315
- Detectives.
- Sir.

891
00:57:35,400 --> 00:57:36,913
Start interviewing everyone
who was at the fete.

892
00:57:37,000 --> 00:57:38,035
Oh, he's got shorts on.

893
00:57:38,120 --> 00:57:39,189
- Sergeant Fisher?
- What?

894
00:57:39,280 --> 00:57:40,633
- Secure the area.
- What?

895
00:57:40,720 --> 00:57:41,869
- PC Thatcher?
- Yes, love?

896
00:57:41,960 --> 00:57:43,518
Get the CSI down here.

897
00:57:43,600 --> 00:57:44,749
PC Walker?

898
00:57:44,840 --> 00:57:47,035
Patrol the churchyard with Saxon.

899
00:57:47,120 --> 00:57:50,192
Nicholas, Danny, you know what to do.

900
00:57:56,240 --> 00:57:58,310
Do you really think this is murder?

901
00:57:58,480 --> 00:57:59,993
I just don't think we should rule it out,
that's all.

902
00:58:00,080 --> 00:58:01,513
Yeah. I think you're right.

903
00:58:01,600 --> 00:58:03,750
I think you're talking a load of old shit.

904
00:58:04,440 --> 00:58:07,557
He thinks you're talking a load of shit.
Swings and roundabouts, isn't it?

905
00:58:07,880 --> 00:58:09,074
Pain in the arse.

906
00:58:09,320 --> 00:58:11,276
- Did you find anything?
- Yeah.

907
00:58:11,360 --> 00:58:13,112
I was extremely shocked
when I looked at my watch

908
00:58:13,200 --> 00:58:14,553
and discovered that I should be in the pub.

909
00:58:14,640 --> 00:58:16,835
Did you go to his house?
Did you read his articles?

910
00:58:16,920 --> 00:58:20,230
If you wanna wade through every copy of
the Sandford bloody Citizen, be our guest.

911
00:58:20,320 --> 00:58:22,151
It's your job, isn't it? Detect!

912
00:58:22,240 --> 00:58:26,313
This ain't the city, Mr. Angel.
Not everyone's a murdering psychopath.

913
00:58:26,480 --> 00:58:29,756
It's high time you realized that.
You and your monkey.

914
00:58:32,960 --> 00:58:34,837
Did he mean me or that?

915
00:58:36,440 --> 00:58:38,556
Oh, maybe we should go home.

916
00:58:38,760 --> 00:58:41,718
- What do you mean?
- Well, there's nothing going on, is there?

917
00:58:41,800 --> 00:58:43,358
Have you listened to anything that I've said?

918
00:58:43,440 --> 00:58:44,509
What do you mean?

919
00:58:44,600 --> 00:58:46,079
Is anything I've told you
in the last two weeks

920
00:58:46,160 --> 00:58:48,116
- sunk into that thick skull of yours?
- Yeah.

921
00:58:48,200 --> 00:58:49,838
Has it? Like what?

922
00:58:50,360 --> 00:58:52,191
You said I could be
an amazing policeman-officer.

923
00:58:52,280 --> 00:58:54,589
There's always something going on, Danny.

924
00:58:54,680 --> 00:58:58,150
And you won't be an amazing police officer
until you understand that.

925
00:58:58,240 --> 00:59:00,515
Well, I remembered something else
you said and all.

926
00:59:00,600 --> 00:59:02,158
- Oh, did you now?
- Yeah.

927
00:59:02,240 --> 00:59:04,435
You don't know how to switch off!

928
00:59:37,240 --> 00:59:38,639
Well, if you wanna wade through every copy

929
00:59:38,720 --> 00:59:40,915
of the Sandford bloody Citizen,
be our guest.

930
01:00:17,000 --> 01:00:19,468
- Morning, Constable.
- All right?

931
01:00:20,760 --> 01:00:22,591
Thanks for the monkey.

932
01:00:23,400 --> 01:00:25,834
- Yours, isn't it?
- I won it for you.

933
01:00:29,320 --> 01:00:31,197
Danny, I think I'm on to something.

934
01:00:31,280 --> 01:00:32,395
- Are you?
- Yes.

935
01:00:32,480 --> 01:00:36,632
And I think with a little deliberation
we can figure out what links these deaths.

936
01:00:37,080 --> 01:00:40,356
- We?
- Come on, partner. Let's go to work.

937
01:00:41,440 --> 01:00:43,271
Oh, oh, Sergeant Angel?

938
01:00:43,360 --> 01:00:47,797
- Someone from London called for you.
- Tell them I'll call them back.

939
01:00:48,600 --> 01:00:49,669
- Tim Messenger.
- Go.

940
01:00:49,760 --> 01:00:51,512
Editor and journalist
at The Sandford Citizen.

941
01:00:51,600 --> 01:00:52,828
- Fondness for puns.
- Go on.

942
01:00:52,920 --> 01:00:53,989
- Terrible speller.
- Oh, yeah?

943
01:00:54,080 --> 01:00:55,957
Nevertheless had uncovered
important information about...

944
01:00:56,040 --> 01:00:57,712
- George Merchant.
- Self-made millionaire.

945
01:00:57,660 --> 01:00:59,776
Fancied himself as a property developer.

946
01:00:59,860 --> 01:01:02,499
- Said he had big plans for Sandford.
- Pissed on the floor in The Crown.

947
01:01:02,580 --> 01:01:04,650
But more importantly,
was a good friend and client of...

948
01:01:04,740 --> 01:01:06,412
- Martin Blower.
- Respected solicitor.

949
01:01:06,500 --> 01:01:08,650
- Affirmatron.
- Leading light of the local drama society.

950
01:01:08,740 --> 01:01:10,093
- Bad actor.
- Undoubtedly.

951
01:01:10,180 --> 01:01:11,659
- Bad driver.
- Not necessarily.

952
01:01:11,740 --> 01:01:13,332
- Cheated on his missus.
- Most certainly.

953
01:01:13,420 --> 01:01:15,297
- And we both know who with.
- Eve Draper.

954
01:01:15,380 --> 01:01:18,099
- Blower's leading lady. Distinctive laugh.
- True.

955
01:01:18,180 --> 01:01:19,533
- Favored older men.
- Fingered.

956
01:01:19,620 --> 01:01:20,814
- Worked at?
- Council.

957
01:01:20,900 --> 01:01:23,494
- More specifically?
- Department of Planning and Development.

958
01:01:23,580 --> 01:01:25,138
Where George Merchant secured permission

959
01:01:25,220 --> 01:01:27,495
to build his dubious mansion
on Norris Avenue.

960
01:01:27,580 --> 01:01:28,649
So...

961
01:01:28,740 --> 01:01:32,653
Maybe they were all accidents.
People have accidents every day.

962
01:01:33,940 --> 01:01:36,329
- What are you two up to?
- Nothing.

963
01:01:36,420 --> 01:01:37,489
Well, look sharp.

964
01:01:37,580 --> 01:01:40,219
- There's been reports of a fire in the station.
- What?

965
01:01:40,300 --> 01:01:43,815
Happy birthday to you

966
01:01:43,900 --> 01:01:47,939
Happy birthday to you

967
01:01:48,020 --> 01:01:51,535
- Danny, why didn't you say something?
- We were working, weren't we?

968
01:01:53,820 --> 01:01:56,778
- Hey, where are you going?
- Personal errand.

969
01:02:03,300 --> 01:02:04,653
Hello, Miss Tiller.

970
01:02:04,740 --> 01:02:07,334
I was wondering,
do you have any Japanese Peace Lilies?

971
01:02:07,420 --> 01:02:08,773
Of course.

972
01:02:09,500 --> 01:02:11,855
I was just about to pop off, actually.

973
01:02:12,660 --> 01:02:14,855
I can never find my scissors.

974
01:02:15,100 --> 01:02:18,888
- Is this for someone special?
- Yes. Yes, it is.

975
01:02:21,220 --> 01:02:25,657
- Are you going somewhere, Miss Tiller?
- Yes. I'm moving away.

976
01:02:26,740 --> 01:02:29,777
And why the move,
if you don't mind me asking?

977
01:02:29,860 --> 01:02:34,490
- Well, just between you and I...
- Yes?

978
01:02:34,700 --> 01:02:37,498
- You know that fella who blew up?
- George Merchant.

979
01:02:37,580 --> 01:02:40,617
Well, George Merchant, God rest him,
wanted to buy this land,

980
01:02:40,700 --> 01:02:44,136
so he sends round his legal fella,
Martin Blower, God rest him,

981
01:02:44,220 --> 01:02:46,256
and I thought I might take them up on it.

982
01:02:46,340 --> 01:02:49,889
I haven't really got that much family
round here, save for Cousin Sissy.

983
01:02:49,980 --> 01:02:53,290
So I thought I might take them up
on the offer and move to Buford Abbey.

984
01:02:53,380 --> 01:02:55,291
Would you like a card with this?

985
01:02:55,460 --> 01:02:57,655
No, sorry, you were talking about the offer?

986
01:02:57,740 --> 01:03:00,812
Well, it turns out that Martin Blower,
God rest him,

987
01:03:00,900 --> 01:03:02,970
knew where the new bypass road is going

988
01:03:03,060 --> 01:03:06,018
because he was knocking off Eve Draper
from the council, God rest her,

989
01:03:06,100 --> 01:03:09,649
and then that reporter, God rest him,
finds out about the route

990
01:03:09,740 --> 01:03:11,776
and tells me this land's very valuable.

991
01:03:11,860 --> 01:03:15,773
Ten times what George Merchant and
Martin Blower, God rest them, offered me.

992
01:03:15,860 --> 01:03:18,738
So, with them having passed on,
I decided to sell it on myself

993
01:03:18,820 --> 01:03:21,493
to some folks from the city
that Martin, George and Eve,

994
01:03:21,580 --> 01:03:23,536
God rest the lot of them,
had been talking to.

995
01:03:23,620 --> 01:03:26,339
Apparently, they want to build
a big shopping center or something.

996
01:03:26,420 --> 01:03:29,093
Of course, Cousin Sissy won't be
too happy about that,

997
01:03:29,180 --> 01:03:31,171
but as far as I'm concerned,
Cousin Sissy can go and fuck...

998
01:03:31,260 --> 01:03:33,774
Would you just excuse me,
for just one second?

999
01:03:48,380 --> 01:03:49,529
Stop!

1000
01:03:50,380 --> 01:03:51,938
In the name of the law!

1001
01:04:47,740 --> 01:04:49,651
Hang about, hang about.

1002
01:04:50,460 --> 01:04:52,655
You're saying this wasn't an accident?

1003
01:04:53,940 --> 01:04:55,896
Leslie Tiller was fucking murdered!

1004
01:04:55,980 --> 01:04:57,379
- What, just like Tim Messenger?
- Yes!

1005
01:04:57,460 --> 01:04:58,575
- And George Merchant?
- Yes!

1006
01:04:58,660 --> 01:04:59,854
- And Eve Draper?
- Yes!

1007
01:04:59,940 --> 01:05:01,498
- And Martin Blower?
- No, actually.

1008
01:05:01,580 --> 01:05:03,377
- Really?
- 'Course he fucking was!

1009
01:05:03,460 --> 01:05:05,291
Thank you, Danny.

1010
01:05:05,380 --> 01:05:08,577
Oh, murder, murder, murder.
Change the fucking record.

1011
01:05:09,140 --> 01:05:10,255
Thank you, Andy.

1012
01:05:10,340 --> 01:05:14,413
Come on, Sergeant, you've gotta accept
it was just another nasty accident.

1013
01:05:14,500 --> 01:05:15,535
What are you suggesting?

1014
01:05:15,620 --> 01:05:18,009
That Leslie Tiller tripped
and fell on her own shears?

1015
01:05:18,100 --> 01:05:20,455
Ben Fletcher fell
on his pitchfork the other week.

1016
01:05:20,540 --> 01:05:23,850
Yeah, accidents happen all the time.
What makes you think it was murder?

1017
01:05:23,940 --> 01:05:26,773
- Because I was there!
- There's a point.

1018
01:05:26,860 --> 01:05:28,179
Why were you there?

1019
01:05:28,260 --> 01:05:32,333
I was buying Constable Butterman
a Japanese Peace Lily for his birthday.

1020
01:05:32,420 --> 01:05:34,888
What absolute horseshit.

1021
01:05:34,980 --> 01:05:38,768
I chased a suspect from the scene.
Innocent people don't run!

1022
01:05:38,860 --> 01:05:41,818
Here, maybe it was our old friend,
the cactus thief.

1023
01:05:41,900 --> 01:05:44,494
Oh, yeah, he was a prickly customer,
weren't he?

1024
01:05:45,300 --> 01:05:47,894
Am I going completely mad?

1025
01:05:49,940 --> 01:05:51,532
Maybe you are.

1026
01:05:53,380 --> 01:05:56,019
Maybe you did it.

1027
01:05:56,100 --> 01:05:59,297
Yeah, seeing as how you're such
a big fan of murder.

1028
01:05:59,380 --> 01:06:00,733
- What the...
- Sergeant Angel?

1029
01:06:00,820 --> 01:06:03,209
Yes! Sir.

1030
01:06:05,700 --> 01:06:08,453
Nicholas, Nicholas, Nicholas.

1031
01:06:08,540 --> 01:06:11,008
What am I going to do with you?

1032
01:06:11,100 --> 01:06:15,457
- Sir, you have to understand...
- No, you have to understand.

1033
01:06:16,420 --> 01:06:20,208
The boys here aren't used
to the concepts you're bandying about.

1034
01:06:20,820 --> 01:06:23,209
The "M" word, Nicholas.

1035
01:06:23,300 --> 01:06:27,339
There hasn't been a recorded murder
in Sandford for 20 years.

1036
01:06:27,420 --> 01:06:29,172
But, sir, I'm certain.

1037
01:06:29,660 --> 01:06:32,777
And what's more, I know who did it.

1038
01:06:38,580 --> 01:06:40,411
Can I see the manager, please?

1039
01:06:45,700 --> 01:06:51,411
Mr. Skinner to the Manager's office.
Manager's office. Mr. Skinner.

1040
01:06:52,100 --> 01:06:55,410
Sergeant Angel.
And to what do I owe this pleasure?

1041
01:06:55,500 --> 01:06:59,413
Simon Skinner, I'm arresting you
on suspicion of the murder of Leslie Tiller.

1042
01:06:59,500 --> 01:07:02,810
Leslie Tiller's dead? How?

1043
01:07:02,940 --> 01:07:05,170
She tripped and fell on her own shears.

1044
01:07:06,740 --> 01:07:09,937
I'm also arresting you on suspicion of
the murder of Tim Messenger on May 1st,

1045
01:07:10,020 --> 01:07:11,578
of George Merchant on April 29th

1046
01:07:11,660 --> 01:07:14,128
and of Eve Draper
and Martin Blower on April 28th.

1047
01:07:14,220 --> 01:07:18,054
- Why on earth would I do that, Sergeant?
- I'm glad you asked.

1048
01:07:19,740 --> 01:07:21,810
My suspicions were first aroused
when you appeared

1049
01:07:21,900 --> 01:07:24,573
at the scene of the Blower-Draper death,
on the outskirts of Sandford,

1050
01:07:24,660 --> 01:07:28,335
despite the fact you live and work
in the center of the village.

1051
01:07:29,500 --> 01:07:33,652
I couldn't help but recall your comments
at the theater on the previous evening.

1052
01:07:33,900 --> 01:07:36,733
When you not only indicated
an awareness of the couple's affair

1053
01:07:36,820 --> 01:07:38,731
but also inferred
that Eve's connections at the council

1054
01:07:38,820 --> 01:07:41,653
might make her privy
to important information.

1055
01:07:41,740 --> 01:07:43,935
You even spoke of "bashing her head in."

1056
01:07:44,020 --> 01:07:47,490
Perhaps hoping you might discover
the route of the proposed Sandford Bypass.

1057
01:07:47,580 --> 01:07:49,730
You were already suspicious
that George Merchant was buying up

1058
01:07:49,820 --> 01:07:52,015
a large area of land
on the outskirts of Sandford,

1059
01:07:52,100 --> 01:07:54,933
after an article Tim Messenger
wrote in the Sandford Citizen.

1060
01:07:55,020 --> 01:07:58,535
You see, the land Merchant was buying
had little value in of itself but,

1061
01:07:58,620 --> 01:08:02,374
if it became accessible by road,
it would be a prime location for say,

1062
01:08:02,740 --> 01:08:04,332
a retail park.

1063
01:08:04,420 --> 01:08:06,331
Consumed with concern for your business

1064
01:08:06,420 --> 01:08:08,376
and potential disloyalty
from fickle customers,

1065
01:08:08,460 --> 01:08:10,928
you yourself expressed a wish to behead.

1066
01:08:11,420 --> 01:08:13,980
You killed the competition in cold blood.

1067
01:08:14,060 --> 01:08:15,891
Staging the murders as accidents.

1068
01:08:15,980 --> 01:08:18,938
You used a vehicle removal truck
to stage the Blower-Draper death

1069
01:08:19,020 --> 01:08:20,851
and incinerated an old man
in his own house.

1070
01:08:20,940 --> 01:08:24,012
Covering your tracks with the judicial
application of bacon and beans.

1071
01:08:24,100 --> 01:08:26,933
However, there was a loose end.

1072
01:08:27,940 --> 01:08:29,339
Tim Messenger.

1073
01:08:29,420 --> 01:08:31,490
Splattered before he could share with me

1074
01:08:31,580 --> 01:08:34,413
what he told Leslie Tiller
that very afternoon.

1075
01:08:34,500 --> 01:08:37,219
The true value of her land.

1076
01:08:37,580 --> 01:08:40,378
Upon discovering she was about
to sell up to the developers,

1077
01:08:40,460 --> 01:08:43,179
you brutally murdered her
with her own shears.

1078
01:08:43,260 --> 01:08:47,811
And made good your escape utilizing
your impressive skills as a fun runner.

1079
01:08:54,020 --> 01:08:57,649
Very entertaining. But I rather think
you've been watching too many films.

1080
01:08:59,180 --> 01:09:00,215
He hasn't.

1081
01:09:00,300 --> 01:09:03,895
Why would I kill Leslie?
You clearly aren't aware that we're related.

1082
01:09:03,980 --> 01:09:06,448
Oh, but I am, "Cousin Sissy."

1083
01:09:07,900 --> 01:09:12,052
I'm afraid my nickname of Sissy
is only a revelation to yourself.

1084
01:09:12,340 --> 01:09:15,571
My teenage years studying ballet
are well known.

1085
01:09:15,660 --> 01:09:18,697
- Yeah, Sissy Skinner.
- What a Gaylord.

1086
01:09:18,780 --> 01:09:20,259
Thank you, Andrews.

1087
01:09:20,340 --> 01:09:23,571
Now, despite my comments
about "beheading" customers,

1088
01:09:23,660 --> 01:09:27,050
I personally relish the competition
of another store.

1089
01:09:27,140 --> 01:09:30,610
Anything to energize my workforce.

1090
01:09:32,060 --> 01:09:36,497
And anyway, what makes you think
I could dislodge part of the church roof?

1091
01:09:36,580 --> 01:09:38,935
Or for that matter, stage a car crash?

1092
01:09:39,020 --> 01:09:42,251
It's a well known fact that
the church roof is in dire need of repair.

1093
01:09:42,340 --> 01:09:44,410
And isn't it true
that two of your own employees

1094
01:09:44,500 --> 01:09:46,855
operate the vehicle removal service
for the council?

1095
01:09:46,940 --> 01:09:49,215
Sergeant, this is the 21st Century.

1096
01:09:49,300 --> 01:09:52,098
Many people hold down several jobs.

1097
01:09:52,180 --> 01:09:55,729
I myself host a life drawing class
at the Village Hall.

1098
01:09:55,820 --> 01:09:58,732
Tina here is a table dancer at Flappers.

1099
01:09:59,060 --> 01:10:02,769
Nevertheless, you could have utilized
the vehicle removal truck for your own ends.

1100
01:10:02,860 --> 01:10:04,816
These accusations
are quite meaningless, Sergeant,

1101
01:10:04,900 --> 01:10:07,414
unless you can back them up
with hard evidence.

1102
01:10:07,500 --> 01:10:09,968
Well, you've got me there.

1103
01:10:10,060 --> 01:10:11,971
I'd need something conclusive.

1104
01:10:12,060 --> 01:10:14,130
Something that placed you
at the scene of the crime.

1105
01:10:14,220 --> 01:10:18,099
Perhaps a wound you sustained on
a piece of broken glass this very evening.

1106
01:10:19,660 --> 01:10:21,252
This very evening.

1107
01:10:22,460 --> 01:10:25,611
Sergeant, this is beginning
to get embarrassing.

1108
01:10:25,700 --> 01:10:28,737
How could I possibly be
in several places at once?

1109
01:10:30,940 --> 01:10:35,411
I'm sure the store's security footage
will absolve me.

1110
01:10:36,100 --> 01:10:38,660
Do feel free to spool through.

1111
01:10:55,420 --> 01:10:56,455
I can handle this, Danny.

1112
01:10:56,540 --> 01:10:59,691
You might as well go back
and just enjoy the rest of your birthday.

1113
01:10:59,780 --> 01:11:02,248
- Did you really get me that plant?
- Yes, I did.

1114
01:11:02,340 --> 01:11:05,650
But it's been impounded as evidence.

1115
01:11:05,740 --> 01:11:10,177
Well, I mean,
maybe Dad will still let me water it, eh?

1116
01:11:10,260 --> 01:11:11,375
Yeah.

1117
01:11:14,660 --> 01:11:16,013
Sergeant, I wanted you to know that

1118
01:11:16,100 --> 01:11:19,297
if I do indeed now
own the land belonging to...

1119
01:11:20,980 --> 01:11:26,577
belonging to Leslie, that I intend to turn it
into a memorial garden, in her honor.

1120
01:11:26,660 --> 01:11:31,051
Mr. Skinner, what you do with your land
is of no concern of mine,

1121
01:11:33,740 --> 01:11:34,889
so jog on.

1122
01:11:35,740 --> 01:11:40,177
Michael, will you escort the Sergeant
off the premises when he's quite finished?

1123
01:11:40,260 --> 01:11:41,739
Yarp.

1124
01:11:44,740 --> 01:11:48,892
I just can't believe Leslie's dead.
How did it happen?

1125
01:11:48,980 --> 01:11:51,210
She tripped and fell on her own shears.

1126
01:11:59,020 --> 01:12:01,136
Hey, that weren't me.

1127
01:12:08,860 --> 01:12:09,975
Hey, look.

1128
01:12:10,060 --> 01:12:12,654
Look, Mr. Treacher's
got his big coat on again.

1129
01:12:16,180 --> 01:12:20,412
- You want anything from the shop?
- Cornetto.

1130
01:12:22,860 --> 01:12:26,899
- No luck catching them killers, then?
- It's just the one killer, actually.

1131
01:12:30,140 --> 01:12:33,291
- No luck catching them killers, then?
- It's just the one killer, actually.

1132
01:12:33,380 --> 01:12:36,577
- No luck catching them killers, then?
- It's just the one killer, actually.

1133
01:12:36,660 --> 01:12:40,494
- No luck catching them killers, then?
- It's just the one killer, actually.

1134
01:12:40,580 --> 01:12:43,697
- What's the matter? You got brain-freeze?
- No, I got brainwave.

1135
01:12:43,780 --> 01:12:45,975
Get us back to the station, now!

1136
01:12:52,660 --> 01:12:54,298
- It's more than one person.
- Come again?

1137
01:12:54,380 --> 01:12:57,133
- It's more than one killer.
- It was Skinner a minute ago.

1138
01:12:57,220 --> 01:12:58,255
Yeah, well, maybe it still is.

1139
01:12:58,340 --> 01:13:00,615
You know, maybe he's... Maybe he's
not alone. Maybe there are others.

1140
01:13:00,700 --> 01:13:05,649
Nicholas, you're an exceptional officer.
But I've seen this before.

1141
01:13:06,100 --> 01:13:08,568
- Sir?
- Sergeant Popwell.

1142
01:13:08,660 --> 01:13:11,379
It was exactly the same thing.

1143
01:13:11,460 --> 01:13:15,692
You've come from a city
where there's danger round every corner,

1144
01:13:16,140 --> 01:13:18,574
and it's driven you round the bend.

1145
01:13:19,060 --> 01:13:20,288
Yes, sir.

1146
01:13:20,540 --> 01:13:23,850
Do yourself a favor. Sleep on it.

1147
01:13:23,940 --> 01:13:29,458
And if you still feel the same in the morning,
I give you my word, I'll get right on to it.

1148
01:13:33,620 --> 01:13:36,418
Hey. Hey, what's happening?
What's going on?

1149
01:13:37,020 --> 01:13:40,808
Nothing, nothing.
I'm just gonna go back to the hotel.

1150
01:13:40,900 --> 01:13:46,179
- I mean, do you want a lift?
- No, no, I could do with a walk.

1151
01:14:47,020 --> 01:14:49,818
Hey, big one, playtime's over.

1152
01:14:54,020 --> 01:14:55,339
Michael?

1153
01:14:56,180 --> 01:14:58,740
Michael? Are you there?

1154
01:14:59,380 --> 01:15:03,259
Michael? Is everything okay?

1155
01:15:05,820 --> 01:15:06,935
Yarp.

1156
01:15:07,020 --> 01:15:09,659
Sergeant Angel's been taken care of?

1157
01:15:09,740 --> 01:15:10,809
Yarp.

1158
01:15:10,900 --> 01:15:13,255
He's not gonna get back up again?

1159
01:15:15,780 --> 01:15:17,008
Narp!

1160
01:15:18,220 --> 01:15:20,688
Good. Proceed to the castle.

1161
01:15:25,700 --> 01:15:27,372
Frank, this shit just got real.

1162
01:15:27,460 --> 01:15:31,089
Skinner just sent someone to kill me,
and, now, now he's gone somewhere.

1163
01:15:31,180 --> 01:15:33,648
Up to the... To the castle, I think.
I'm gonna... I'm gonna go after him.

1164
01:15:33,740 --> 01:15:35,970
Okay? It's Nicholas, by the way.

1165
01:15:37,980 --> 01:15:42,292
Oh, my God.
What happened to your Peace Lily?

1166
01:15:42,540 --> 01:15:46,294
Danny. Danny, just stay here, okay?
And watch him, and call your dad.

1167
01:15:46,380 --> 01:15:48,371
- Tell him I was right.
- What are you gonna do?

1168
01:15:48,460 --> 01:15:52,897
- I'm gonna bust this thing wide open.
- Nicholas, wait.

1169
01:15:52,980 --> 01:15:56,575
- You might need this.
- Thanks, partner.

1170
01:16:28,420 --> 01:16:31,696
How could I possibly be
in several places at once?

1171
01:16:31,780 --> 01:16:34,817
How could I possibly be
in several places at once?

1172
01:16:34,900 --> 01:16:38,051
How could I possibly be
in several places at once?

1173
01:16:39,140 --> 01:16:43,099
I just can't believe Leslie's dead.
How did it happen?

1174
01:16:43,180 --> 01:16:46,138
You'll find that we run
a very tight ship here.

1175
01:16:46,220 --> 01:16:47,972
Who could do something like this?

1176
01:16:48,060 --> 01:16:51,291
Seems like Mr. Merchant tried
to have a little fry up and left the gas on.

1177
01:16:51,380 --> 01:16:52,654
Nasty way to go.

1178
01:16:52,740 --> 01:16:53,809
What happened, Danny?

1179
01:16:53,900 --> 01:16:55,652
No luck catching them killers, then?

1180
01:16:55,740 --> 01:16:57,537
No luck catching them killers, then?

1181
01:16:57,620 --> 01:16:59,736
No luck catching them...

1182
01:17:03,060 --> 01:17:05,369
Now, quick announcement before we begin.

1183
01:17:05,460 --> 01:17:09,658
Janet Barker has decided
to call her boys Roger and Martin.

1184
01:17:09,740 --> 01:17:14,814
And the christening will be
a week on Saturday and we're all invited.

1185
01:17:15,060 --> 01:17:17,290
- Tom.
- Thanks, Joyce.

1186
01:17:17,500 --> 01:17:20,492
Now, you'll all be delighted to hear

1187
01:17:20,580 --> 01:17:25,051
that the tenacious Sergeant Angel
has been taken care of.

1188
01:17:25,140 --> 01:17:30,498
Joyce will discover the Sergeant lying
on the wet floor of his bathroom,

1189
01:17:30,580 --> 01:17:34,653
having slipped
and tragically broken his neck.

1190
01:17:34,740 --> 01:17:36,731
So, with the dispatch of the Sergeant,

1191
01:17:36,820 --> 01:17:40,733
we will now be able to concentrate
on the eradication of our hoodie infestation.

1192
01:17:40,820 --> 01:17:41,855
Quite right.

1193
01:17:41,940 --> 01:17:45,250
After which, nothing will stand in our way.

1194
01:17:45,340 --> 01:17:48,093
Oh, I beg to differ, Mr. Weaver.

1195
01:17:48,180 --> 01:17:52,253
Well, well, well, I see we have visitors.

1196
01:17:52,580 --> 01:17:55,617
Sergeant Nicholas Angel.
Sandford Police Service.

1197
01:17:55,700 --> 01:17:58,339
My, he is tenacious, isn't he?

1198
01:17:58,420 --> 01:18:01,173
I'm arresting you under suspicion
of conspiracy to commit murder.

1199
01:18:01,260 --> 01:18:03,933
Oh, come, come, Sergeant.

1200
01:18:04,020 --> 01:18:05,533
You should be ashamed.

1201
01:18:05,620 --> 01:18:09,056
- Calling yourself a community that cares.
- Oh, but we do care, Nicholas.

1202
01:18:09,140 --> 01:18:10,812
It's all about the greater good.

1203
01:18:10,900 --> 01:18:12,333
The greater good.

1204
01:18:12,420 --> 01:18:13,853
How can this be for the greater good?

1205
01:18:13,940 --> 01:18:15,419
The greater good.

1206
01:18:15,500 --> 01:18:17,536
You see, as much as I enjoyed
your wild theories, Sergeant,

1207
01:18:17,620 --> 01:18:19,258
the truth is far less complex.

1208
01:18:19,340 --> 01:18:24,334
Blower's fate was simply the result
of his being an appalling actor.

1209
01:18:25,780 --> 01:18:26,974
Quite appalling.

1210
01:18:27,060 --> 01:18:28,732
You murdered him for that?

1211
01:18:29,780 --> 01:18:32,089
- Well, he murdered Bill Shakespeare.
- What?

1212
01:18:32,180 --> 01:18:35,536
The Dramatic Society
is an important feather in our cap.

1213
01:18:35,860 --> 01:18:37,259
Couldn't let
Blower jeopardize that.

1214
01:18:37,340 --> 01:18:39,490
Not when we had two semi-professionals
waiting in the wings.

1215
01:18:39,580 --> 01:18:42,048
Let's not forget that Greg
was an extra in Straw Dogs.

1216
01:18:42,140 --> 01:18:43,937
And Sheree played a cadaver
in Prime Suspect.

1217
01:18:44,020 --> 01:18:45,373
Yes, I know!

1218
01:18:45,460 --> 01:18:47,974
Martin was less concerned
with the reputation of the village

1219
01:18:48,060 --> 01:18:51,132
than he was with his sordid affair
with Eve Draper.

1220
01:18:51,220 --> 01:18:52,733
And so Eve deserved to die too?

1221
01:18:52,820 --> 01:18:55,129
Well, she did have a very annoying laugh.

1222
01:18:55,220 --> 01:18:56,414
Annoying.

1223
01:18:56,500 --> 01:18:59,219
- And, and George Merchant?
- He had an awful house.

1224
01:18:59,500 --> 01:19:00,535
Awful.

1225
01:19:00,620 --> 01:19:02,212
We begged him in vain
to make his residence

1226
01:19:02,300 --> 01:19:04,734
more in keeping
with the village's rustic esthetic.

1227
01:19:05,780 --> 01:19:08,248
And what about Tim Messenger?
What was his crime?

1228
01:19:08,340 --> 01:19:12,856
Tim Messenger's tenure as editor of
the Sandford Citizen has been unbearable.

1229
01:19:12,940 --> 01:19:16,615
Our once great paper had
become riddled with tabloid journalism.

1230
01:19:16,700 --> 01:19:18,577
Not to mention persistent errors.

1231
01:19:18,660 --> 01:19:21,777
- He listed her age as 55.
- When, actually, I'm 53.

1232
01:19:21,860 --> 01:19:23,293
Fifty-three.

1233
01:19:23,380 --> 01:19:24,972
What, what about Leslie Tiller?
One of your own?

1234
01:19:25,060 --> 01:19:27,449
Her horticultural expertise helped
put Sandford on the map.

1235
01:19:27,540 --> 01:19:29,496
Oh, she was ever so good.

1236
01:19:29,580 --> 01:19:31,650
Cousin Leslie was a terrible shame.

1237
01:19:31,940 --> 01:19:35,489
But it seemed she was set on moving away.

1238
01:19:35,580 --> 01:19:38,811
We couldn't have her sharing
her green fingers with anybody else.

1239
01:19:38,900 --> 01:19:40,777
Not least those heathens at Buford Abbey.

1240
01:19:40,860 --> 01:19:43,420
If we can't have her, no one can.

1241
01:19:43,500 --> 01:19:45,013
How can this be for the greater good?

1242
01:19:45,100 --> 01:19:47,056
- The greater good.
- Shut it!

1243
01:19:47,140 --> 01:19:50,177
These people died for no reason.
No reason whatsoever!

1244
01:19:50,260 --> 01:19:52,649
Oh, I wouldn't say that.

1245
01:19:54,340 --> 01:19:55,659
Hello, Nicholas.

1246
01:19:56,700 --> 01:19:58,531
I was like you once.

1247
01:19:59,140 --> 01:20:02,416
I believed in the immutable word of the law.

1248
01:20:02,700 --> 01:20:06,375
That is until the night Mrs. Butterman
was taken from me.

1249
01:20:07,260 --> 01:20:09,820
You see,
no one loved Sandford more than her.

1250
01:20:09,900 --> 01:20:13,734
She was head of the Women's Institute,
chair of the floral committee.

1251
01:20:13,820 --> 01:20:15,811
When they started
the Village of the Year contest,

1252
01:20:15,900 --> 01:20:19,449
she worked round the clock.
I've never seen such dedication.

1253
01:20:20,740 --> 01:20:25,860
On the eve of the adjudicator's arrival,
some travelers moved into Callahan Park.

1254
01:20:26,620 --> 01:20:30,010
Before you could say, "Gypsy scum,"
we were knee-deep in dog muck,

1255
01:20:30,100 --> 01:20:32,330
thieving kids and crusty jugglers.

1256
01:20:32,420 --> 01:20:34,092
Crusty jugglers.

1257
01:20:34,180 --> 01:20:37,138
We lost the title and Irene lost her mind.

1258
01:20:38,060 --> 01:20:42,053
She drove her Datsun Cherry
into Sandford Gorge.

1259
01:20:42,140 --> 01:20:47,055
From that moment on,
I swore that I would do her proud.

1260
01:20:47,380 --> 01:20:51,692
And whatever the cost,
we would make Sandford great again.

1261
01:20:52,020 --> 01:20:53,817
Sir, this doesn't make any sense.

1262
01:20:53,900 --> 01:20:57,609
The adjudicators arrive tomorrow.
We had to get everything ready.

1263
01:20:57,700 --> 01:21:00,294
Are you saying this is all about
winning the Best Village Award?

1264
01:21:00,380 --> 01:21:03,929
This is the best village, Nicholas.
You've seen the people.

1265
01:21:04,020 --> 01:21:08,298
- They're happy, contented.
- They're living in a dream world.

1266
01:21:08,380 --> 01:21:10,894
Sergeant Popwell
thought much the same as you.

1267
01:21:10,980 --> 01:21:12,936
I'm disappointed
you can't see the bigger picture.

1268
01:21:13,020 --> 01:21:15,329
Well, I'm happy to disappoint you, sir.

1269
01:21:15,420 --> 01:21:17,092
And I'm afraid
you're gonna have to come with me.

1270
01:21:17,180 --> 01:21:19,171
You are all gonna have to come with me.

1271
01:21:19,260 --> 01:21:23,173
No, Nicholas, I'm afraid it is you

1272
01:21:23,260 --> 01:21:25,899
who is going to have to come with us.

1273
01:21:33,580 --> 01:21:35,138
Danny, no.

1274
01:21:39,340 --> 01:21:40,773
Back off! Back off!

1275
01:21:40,860 --> 01:21:43,010
Or I swear to God,
you'll be explaining how Danny tripped over

1276
01:21:43,100 --> 01:21:44,499
and accidentally cut off his own head.

1277
01:21:44,580 --> 01:21:46,650
Come on, Nicholas.
You haven't got it in you.

1278
01:21:46,740 --> 01:21:48,014
I mean it!

1279
01:21:51,540 --> 01:21:52,734
Shit!

1280
01:22:06,900 --> 01:22:10,097
Gypsy scum. Travelers.

1281
01:22:10,180 --> 01:22:13,138
Thieving kids. Dog muck.

1282
01:22:15,300 --> 01:22:17,097
Crusty jugglers.

1283
01:22:17,300 --> 01:22:20,736
Crusty jugglers. Crusty jugglers.

1284
01:22:21,580 --> 01:22:22,854
Crusty jugglers.

1285
01:22:22,940 --> 01:22:26,410
There hasn't been a recorded murder
in Sandford for 20 years.

1286
01:22:26,500 --> 01:22:29,333
There's a reason we accommodate
a few of the younglings at the pub.

1287
01:22:29,420 --> 01:22:31,854
Spot of bother up at Ellroy Farm.

1288
01:22:31,940 --> 01:22:34,613
I'll make sure everyone gets
their just deserts.

1289
01:22:39,540 --> 01:22:42,293
If we don't come down hard
on these clowns...

1290
01:22:42,380 --> 01:22:44,018
We'll get round to it.

1291
01:22:55,780 --> 01:22:56,895
Danny!

1292
01:23:30,420 --> 01:23:31,694
Ta-da.

1293
01:23:31,900 --> 01:23:34,972
- What are you doing?
- Saving your skin.

1294
01:23:37,140 --> 01:23:39,734
- This is murder!
- It's not, it's ketchup.

1295
01:23:39,820 --> 01:23:42,459
I'm not talking about that,
I'm talking about the others.

1296
01:23:42,540 --> 01:23:45,373
- What others?
- The others the NWA have murdered.

1297
01:23:45,460 --> 01:23:46,734
- That's not true.
- It is!

1298
01:23:46,820 --> 01:23:48,890
Dad just said it was his special club, he...

1299
01:23:48,980 --> 01:23:50,777
I thought it was about
rapping people on the knuckles

1300
01:23:50,860 --> 01:23:53,932
- and sending them on their way.
- There are skeletons back there!

1301
01:23:54,020 --> 01:23:55,533
I don't know nothing about no skelingtons.

1302
01:23:55,620 --> 01:23:57,770
- What did you think was happening?
- Not this!

1303
01:23:57,860 --> 01:23:58,929
It's Frank.

1304
01:23:59,020 --> 01:24:01,136
He's appointed himself judge,
jury and executioner.

1305
01:24:01,220 --> 01:24:04,417
- He's not Judge Judy and executioner.
- He is!

1306
01:24:04,500 --> 01:24:07,537
- You've gotta help me take him down.
- I can't.

1307
01:24:08,540 --> 01:24:11,259
He's my dad. Take my car.

1308
01:24:12,300 --> 01:24:15,133
Go back to London.
There's nothing you can do.

1309
01:24:15,220 --> 01:24:16,653
I can come back.

1310
01:24:16,740 --> 01:24:18,776
I can come back,
and I can bring the blue fury

1311
01:24:18,860 --> 01:24:20,816
of the Metropolitan Police Service with me.

1312
01:24:20,900 --> 01:24:23,778
They'll make it disappear.
Who are they gonna believe?

1313
01:24:23,860 --> 01:24:26,499
My dad, or a loony London police officer.

1314
01:24:26,580 --> 01:24:28,059
But it won't be just me, will it?

1315
01:24:28,140 --> 01:24:31,212
We can do it together.
You and me. Partners.

1316
01:24:31,460 --> 01:24:35,055
Forget it, Nicholas. It's Sandford.

1317
01:25:25,020 --> 01:25:26,339
Is that everything? Sir?

1318
01:25:32,580 --> 01:25:35,856
Sir? Sir?

1319
01:25:37,300 --> 01:25:41,339
- Is there anything I can do for you?
- No.

1320
01:25:44,420 --> 01:25:46,615
This is something I have to do myself.

1321
01:26:11,260 --> 01:26:14,935
Another beautiful day in God's country.

1322
01:26:22,300 --> 01:26:23,733
Danny?

1323
01:26:32,420 --> 01:26:33,648
It's...

1324
01:26:38,740 --> 01:26:39,809
Mum!

1325
01:26:50,740 --> 01:26:52,139
What you gonna do?

1326
01:26:52,220 --> 01:26:55,178
Just walk in and arrest the whole village?

1327
01:26:56,860 --> 01:26:58,009
Not exactly.

1328
01:27:29,660 --> 01:27:32,777
Oh, Sergeant Angel?
Someone from London called for you.

1329
01:27:40,540 --> 01:27:42,735
I'll tell them you'll ring them back.

1330
01:27:44,900 --> 01:27:46,970
- Well, that's funny.
- What's that?

1331
01:27:47,420 --> 01:27:49,980
I didn't know we had a mounted division.

1332
01:27:50,060 --> 01:27:51,732
Nobody tells me nothing.

1333
01:28:07,460 --> 01:28:09,178
Wanna do something useful?

1334
01:28:18,260 --> 01:28:22,970
Annette, that Sergeant Angel's
back. Check out his horse.

1335
01:28:23,900 --> 01:28:25,777
Roger that!

1336
01:28:27,420 --> 01:28:30,298
- It's...
- Angel.

1337
01:29:38,660 --> 01:29:39,775
Morning.

1338
01:30:59,900 --> 01:31:01,777
That's what I'm talking about.

1339
01:31:16,100 --> 01:31:18,170
Still feel like you're missing out?

1340
01:31:43,780 --> 01:31:45,099
Fascist!

1341
01:32:01,060 --> 01:32:02,175
Hag!

1342
01:32:19,900 --> 01:32:23,449
Stop! Stop this, please!

1343
01:32:24,100 --> 01:32:27,331
Let us stop this mindless violence.

1344
01:32:28,580 --> 01:32:30,491
Nicholas, my son.

1345
01:32:31,580 --> 01:32:35,368
You may not be a man of God,
but surely you're a man of peace.

1346
01:32:35,460 --> 01:32:40,978
I may not be a man of God, Reverend,
but I know right, and I know wrong,

1347
01:32:41,660 --> 01:32:44,128
and I have the good grace
to know which is which.

1348
01:32:44,220 --> 01:32:47,132
Oh, fuck off, Grasshopper.

1349
01:32:48,660 --> 01:32:50,059
No!

1350
01:32:51,220 --> 01:32:52,892
Jesus Christ!

1351
01:32:53,380 --> 01:32:55,291
Nicholas! Nicholas!

1352
01:33:01,340 --> 01:33:03,058
I thought you was a goner.

1353
01:33:03,140 --> 01:33:04,778
Drop your weapons!

1354
01:33:05,380 --> 01:33:07,689
- Dr. Hatcher, no!
- Shut up, Danny.

1355
01:33:08,620 --> 01:33:12,010
I brought you into this world,
I think it's rather fitting

1356
01:33:12,100 --> 01:33:14,819
I should be the one to take you out of it.

1357
01:33:15,140 --> 01:33:18,815
You and your interfering little friend.

1358
01:33:19,260 --> 01:33:20,375
Now...

1359
01:33:24,580 --> 01:33:25,774
drop them.

1360
01:33:41,620 --> 01:33:45,579
- You're a doctor, deal with it.
- Yeah, motherfucker.

1361
01:33:46,180 --> 01:33:48,410
- Danny, let's roll.
- What you thinking?

1362
01:33:50,340 --> 01:33:51,375
Pub?

1363
01:34:49,060 --> 01:34:50,937
Roy!

1364
01:34:51,620 --> 01:34:54,532
Somebody call the police!

1365
01:34:54,620 --> 01:34:55,735
Freeze!

1366
01:34:58,500 --> 01:35:01,219
Officers, arrest that man.

1367
01:35:01,660 --> 01:35:04,732
- Danny, step away from the Sergeant.
- No, Dad.

1368
01:35:05,100 --> 01:35:07,409
Danny, you'll do as you're told.

1369
01:35:07,500 --> 01:35:09,889
I'm not taking orders from you anymore.

1370
01:35:09,980 --> 01:35:13,336
- Officers, arrest these men!
- Wait, wait!

1371
01:35:13,420 --> 01:35:14,489
You can arrest us if you like.

1372
01:35:14,580 --> 01:35:17,094
You can throw us in prison and go back
to being blind, submissive slaves.

1373
01:35:17,180 --> 01:35:18,932
Or you can be real police officers,

1374
01:35:19,020 --> 01:35:21,136
and help us bring an end
to this absurd story.

1375
01:35:21,220 --> 01:35:23,290
What the fuck is he on about?

1376
01:35:23,380 --> 01:35:24,529
Fuck are you on about?

1377
01:35:24,620 --> 01:35:27,134
Have you ever wondered
why the crime rate in Sandford is so low?

1378
01:35:27,220 --> 01:35:30,849
- And yet the accident rate, it's so high?
- No. Yeah. What?

1379
01:35:30,940 --> 01:35:32,737
You've been brainwashed, Tony.

1380
01:35:32,820 --> 01:35:35,937
Brainwashed into naivety by an old man
with a murderous obsession.

1381
01:35:36,020 --> 01:35:40,730
- This is ridiculous.
- No, it's not, Dad. It's very unridiculous.

1382
01:35:40,820 --> 01:35:43,732
And it's only now that I'm starting to realize
how unridiculous it all is.

1383
01:35:43,820 --> 01:35:45,253
Silence, Danny!

1384
01:35:45,660 --> 01:35:48,379
- Think of your mother.
- Mum is dead, Dad.

1385
01:35:49,540 --> 01:35:52,771
For the first time in my life,
you know, I'm glad.

1386
01:35:52,860 --> 01:35:55,135
If she could see what you've become,

1387
01:35:55,220 --> 01:35:59,179
I think she'd probably kill herself
all over again.

1388
01:35:59,260 --> 01:36:00,773
Sorry, I am completely lost.

1389
01:36:00,860 --> 01:36:02,452
Sandford is a lie, Doris.

1390
01:36:02,540 --> 01:36:05,816
For the last 20 years, the village
has been controlled by Frank and the NWA.

1391
01:36:05,900 --> 01:36:08,255
They've lulled everyone
into thinking this is a perfect village

1392
01:36:08,340 --> 01:36:11,013
and killed anyone
who's threatened to change that.

1393
01:36:18,340 --> 01:36:20,331
I reckon he's got something there.

1394
01:36:21,740 --> 01:36:24,618
He says,
"He reckons you got something there."

1395
01:36:24,700 --> 01:36:25,894
I know.

1396
01:36:25,980 --> 01:36:29,097
You're not seriously gonna
believe this man, are you?

1397
01:36:29,180 --> 01:36:32,138
Are you? He isn't even from round here.

1398
01:36:35,900 --> 01:36:39,973
Maybe it's time to give it up, sir.

1399
01:36:41,580 --> 01:36:44,048
You incompetent flatfoots!

1400
01:36:52,820 --> 01:36:55,380
Officer Walker, stay here with Saxon
and hold everything down.

1401
01:36:55,460 --> 01:36:56,529
Fair enough.

1402
01:36:56,620 --> 01:36:58,576
Officers, let's go.

1403
01:36:59,500 --> 01:37:01,775
- What about Dad?
- He'll come round again.

1404
01:37:02,060 --> 01:37:03,812
Want anything from the shop?

1405
01:37:20,860 --> 01:37:22,009
- What you thinking?
- Well...

1406
01:37:22,100 --> 01:37:24,011
We should strike now,
while we've got the element of surprise.

1407
01:37:24,100 --> 01:37:25,818
Longer we wait,
more time they've got to mobilize.

1408
01:37:25,900 --> 01:37:28,573
I say we go in through the front entrance,
take the place aisle by aisle.

1409
01:37:28,660 --> 01:37:30,457
They won't be expecting that.

1410
01:37:31,020 --> 01:37:32,658
Very good. What he said.

1411
01:37:34,780 --> 01:37:37,897
My, my. Here come the fuzz.

1412
01:37:40,020 --> 01:37:42,693
- Maybe they're not here.
- Wait here.

1413
01:37:42,780 --> 01:37:46,170
- Don't go in on your own.
- Don't worry, he knows what he's doing.

1414
01:37:48,980 --> 01:37:50,538
Okay. They're in.

1415
01:37:50,620 --> 01:37:53,612
You deal with the store.
I'll deal with the trolley boy.

1416
01:38:02,540 --> 01:38:06,852
No, listen. Wait, wait, wait, Michael,
wait, listen to me. Listen, listen.

1417
01:38:07,020 --> 01:38:09,488
Is this what you really, really want?

1418
01:38:09,780 --> 01:38:10,849
Yarp.

1419
01:38:11,180 --> 01:38:12,374
Suit yourself.

1420
01:38:20,700 --> 01:38:22,338
Go, go, go.

1421
01:38:24,620 --> 01:38:26,656
Oh, come on.

1422
01:38:38,460 --> 01:38:40,257
Andy!

1423
01:38:42,860 --> 01:38:45,738
It's all right, Andy. It's just Bolognese!

1424
01:39:43,700 --> 01:39:45,577
- How's Lurch?
- He's in the freezer.

1425
01:39:45,660 --> 01:39:47,969
- Did you say, "Cool off"?
- No, I didn't say anything, actually.

1426
01:39:48,060 --> 01:39:49,698
Shame.

1427
01:39:49,780 --> 01:39:51,133
There was a bit earlier on that you missed

1428
01:39:51,220 --> 01:39:52,733
when I distracted him
with the cuddly monkey.

1429
01:39:52,820 --> 01:39:55,493
And then I said, "Playtime's over,"
and I hit him with the Peace Lily.

1430
01:39:55,580 --> 01:39:57,571
You're off the fucking chain!

1431
01:39:57,660 --> 01:40:01,016
- What's the situation?
- Two blokes and a fuckload of cutlery.

1432
01:40:01,100 --> 01:40:02,453
What do you reckon?

1433
01:40:05,660 --> 01:40:06,809
Idea.

1434
01:40:29,540 --> 01:40:30,973
Good work, everyone.

1435
01:40:40,300 --> 01:40:43,178
- Nice one, Doris.
- Nothing like a bit of girl on girl.

1436
01:40:45,740 --> 01:40:47,731
Fruit attack!

1437
01:40:48,500 --> 01:40:51,219
Can you handle this, Sergeant Fisher?
We're gonna go after the big boss.

1438
01:40:51,300 --> 01:40:53,131
We're on it, Sergeant.

1439
01:40:53,580 --> 01:40:55,332
- Danny, let's rock.
- Angel!

1440
01:40:55,420 --> 01:40:57,092
Don't go being a twat now.

1441
01:40:57,380 --> 01:40:59,530
I wouldn't give you the satisfaction.

1442
01:41:06,460 --> 01:41:07,973
- We should get down there.
- How?

1443
01:41:08,060 --> 01:41:10,369
Skip.

1444
01:41:16,100 --> 01:41:19,012
- Head them off?
- Fuck, yeah.

1445
01:41:29,820 --> 01:41:33,335
- I'll drive.
- Shotgun! Punch that shit!

1446
01:42:15,380 --> 01:42:16,859
Bang! Bang!

1447
01:42:22,580 --> 01:42:23,854
Swan!

1448
01:42:42,460 --> 01:42:43,529
Swan!

1449
01:43:09,940 --> 01:43:13,933
Stay back! Or the ginger nut gets it!

1450
01:43:15,780 --> 01:43:18,248
You little fucker!

1451
01:43:52,580 --> 01:43:56,698
Get out of my village!

1452
01:44:02,420 --> 01:44:04,809
It's not your village anymore.

1453
01:44:20,980 --> 01:44:22,732
- You did good, kid.
- Ta.

1454
01:44:22,820 --> 01:44:24,970
- What's your name?
- Aaron A. Aaronson.

1455
01:44:25,340 --> 01:44:26,773
Sorry?

1456
01:44:28,660 --> 01:44:35,008
Angel!

1457
01:44:52,180 --> 01:44:53,454
It's over, Danny.

1458
01:44:54,820 --> 01:44:55,935
It's over.

1459
01:44:59,580 --> 01:45:04,654
This really hurts.

1460
01:45:04,740 --> 01:45:09,939
I'm going to need some ice-cream.

1461
01:45:10,020 --> 01:45:13,057
Yeah, well, don't worry.
There's plenty of ice-cream at the station.

1462
01:45:13,140 --> 01:45:14,255
Isn't that right, Danny?

1463
01:45:15,460 --> 01:45:16,529
Stay back!

1464
01:45:16,620 --> 01:45:19,930
- Pack it in, Frank, you silly bastard!
- Now, now.

1465
01:45:20,260 --> 01:45:21,932
We don't want any more bloodshed.

1466
01:45:22,020 --> 01:45:24,659
Frank, this whole thing started
because you lost somebody you loved.

1467
01:45:24,740 --> 01:45:26,571
Don't expect me to believe
you'd let it end the same way.

1468
01:45:26,660 --> 01:45:29,094
I'll tell you how this is gonna end!

1469
01:46:09,940 --> 01:46:12,010
I feel like I should say something smart.

1470
01:46:12,100 --> 01:46:14,773
You don't have to say anything at all.

1471
01:46:26,180 --> 01:46:29,456
Satisfactory conclusion
to the whole operation.

1472
01:46:29,540 --> 01:46:33,374
Now, my perfect Sunday would begin with...

1473
01:46:38,460 --> 01:46:39,859
What do you say, Nicholas?

1474
01:46:39,940 --> 01:46:42,056
We... We...
We have been trying to reach you for days.

1475
01:46:42,140 --> 01:46:45,177
- Yeah, well, I've been kind of busy.
- We need you back.

1476
01:46:45,260 --> 01:46:48,935
The figures have gone a little squiffy
in your absence, it has to be said.

1477
01:46:49,020 --> 01:46:50,089
Come back to London.

1478
01:46:50,180 --> 01:46:53,297
Sandford's hardly a fitting place
for such an exceptional officer.

1479
01:46:53,380 --> 01:46:55,974
Yeah, well, the thing is, sir.

1480
01:46:56,860 --> 01:46:58,578
I kind of like it here.

1481
01:46:58,660 --> 01:47:01,891
Besides, we have to do
a considerable amount of paperwork.

1482
01:47:31,060 --> 01:47:32,060
- Fuck's sake, Nick, this is gonna take ages.
- Yeah, it's gonna take all night.

1483
01:47:32,095 --> 01:47:33,049
Well, good job
we've got the manpower, Andy?

1484
01:47:33,380 --> 01:47:37,453
Well, official vocab guidelines state
that we say "staffing," not "manpower,"

1485
01:47:37,540 --> 01:47:40,100
'cause "manpower's" a bit sexist.

1486
01:47:42,380 --> 01:47:44,132
You don't mind a bit
of manpower do you, Doris?

1487
01:47:44,220 --> 01:47:46,450
Oh, dirty bastard!

1488
01:47:48,140 --> 01:47:49,255
Andy!

1489
01:47:49,340 --> 01:47:51,296
You cheeky fucker!

1490
01:47:59,700 --> 01:48:01,531
You know what you are?

1491
01:48:02,340 --> 01:48:03,932
A bloody busybody!

1492
01:48:09,500 --> 01:48:11,695
No!

1493
01:48:25,580 --> 01:48:26,729
Oh, God, no!

1494
01:48:49,060 --> 01:48:50,254
Danny!

1495
01:48:52,660 --> 01:48:53,729
Danny!

1496
01:48:54,740 --> 01:48:55,855
Oh, God.

1497
01:48:55,940 --> 01:48:57,498
Hold on, Danny, just hold on.

1498
01:48:57,580 --> 01:49:00,219
Hold on, it's gonna be fine.
It's gonna be fine.

1499
01:49:00,780 --> 01:49:03,453
Just hang on, hang on!

1500
01:49:03,900 --> 01:49:05,652
Everything's gonna be fine.

1501
01:49:06,860 --> 01:49:08,578
Everything's gonna be fine.

1502
01:49:09,020 --> 01:49:10,772
Everything's gonna be fine.

1503
01:49:11,500 --> 01:49:13,456
Everything's gonna be just fine.

1504
01:49:50,540 --> 01:49:51,575
Hope these are okay.

1505
01:49:54,540 --> 01:49:57,816
Yeah. They're lovely.

1506
01:50:06,980 --> 01:50:10,017
- Any officers near the church?
- Go ahead, Doris.

1507
01:50:10,100 --> 01:50:11,738
Chief, we've had a report
of some hippy types

1508
01:50:11,820 --> 01:50:14,175
messing with the recycling bins
at the supermarket.

1509
01:50:14,260 --> 01:50:15,898
- Leave it with us.
- Righto.

1510
01:50:15,980 --> 01:50:19,939
Sergeant Butterman,
little hand says it's time to rock and roll.

1511
01:50:20,140 --> 01:50:21,653
Bring the noise.