1
00:00:45,004 --> 00:00:48,049
MAN 1: I imagine the best place to start
is at the beginning.
2
00:00:50,092 --> 00:00:51,510
Meg.
3
00:00:51,886 --> 00:00:53,512
Why are you here?
4
00:00:54,555 --> 00:00:56,933
Beatrice has...
5
00:00:59,101 --> 00:01:02,396
...been showing signs of depression.
6
00:01:03,105 --> 00:01:05,566
MAN 2: She's also been very,
very angry with us.
7
00:01:06,317 --> 00:01:09,070
Ever since she saw us having sex.
8
00:01:14,158 --> 00:01:18,412
When you were having sex, was it
different or unusual in any way?
9
00:01:22,291 --> 00:01:26,337
We got a book. Uh, Kama Sutra.
10
00:01:27,505 --> 00:01:29,257
I lit some candles...
11
00:01:30,258 --> 00:01:31,592
...and played some music.
12
00:01:32,802 --> 00:01:35,805
And got myself in a position that wasn't...
13
00:01:35,972 --> 00:01:39,392
...uh, very easy for me, emotionally.
14
00:01:39,558 --> 00:01:42,353
Um, it's called
the Congress of the Cow...
15
00:01:42,770 --> 00:01:44,730
...uh, where...
16
00:01:44,897 --> 00:01:49,318
...the woman is bent over, the hands
are on the floor, the man is behind.
17
00:01:50,528 --> 00:01:52,863
What did she do when she saw you?
18
00:01:53,072 --> 00:01:55,283
She just stood there staring at us.
19
00:01:55,491 --> 00:01:58,536
NELKEN: She didn't say anything?
- Didn't say a word.
20
00:01:59,829 --> 00:02:02,915
What would you like to say
to Beatrice right now?
21
00:02:06,877 --> 00:02:10,172
MEG:
I'm sorry. I'm sorry you had to see that.
22
00:02:10,381 --> 00:02:12,049
HAMILTON:
Beatrice, can you look at us?
23
00:02:12,925 --> 00:02:15,678
Come on, honey,
Mommy and Daddy are over here.
24
00:02:16,012 --> 00:02:17,388
{\an8}[DOGS BARKING]
25
00:02:17,596 --> 00:02:19,682
{\an8}WOMAN:
Bring your champions into the ring.
26
00:02:22,268 --> 00:02:24,395
Thank you. Right on around.
27
00:02:26,939 --> 00:02:29,400
Just trot him straight away and back, please.
28
00:02:29,734 --> 00:02:33,571
Well, they couldn't have ordered up
a nicer day, I'll say that for them.
29
00:02:33,779 --> 00:02:36,073
I woke up, I was so glad.
30
00:02:36,657 --> 00:02:38,909
Okay, would everybody please fill into line?
31
00:02:39,118 --> 00:02:41,954
Leads up. Let's take them all around.
32
00:02:43,289 --> 00:02:44,415
[CROWD APPLAUDING]
33
00:02:46,959 --> 00:02:50,379
Best of Breed. Best of Winners.
Best Opposite.
34
00:02:50,546 --> 00:02:53,341
Yes! Ha, ha.
35
00:02:53,507 --> 00:02:54,967
Super.
36
00:02:55,134 --> 00:02:58,512
GERRY: I like to think that, uh,
Cookie and I work as a team.
37
00:02:58,679 --> 00:03:00,139
Although I do nothing.
38
00:03:00,306 --> 00:03:02,641
She does all the work with Winky.
39
00:03:02,808 --> 00:03:04,143
Say, "Yay."
40
00:03:05,102 --> 00:03:08,522
Well, the first time we met,
uh, was at this...
41
00:03:08,689 --> 00:03:11,108
{\an8}...big, uh, dance.
42
00:03:11,275 --> 00:03:15,279
{\an8}And I just thought she was
the prettiest thing...
43
00:03:15,446 --> 00:03:16,906
...that I'd ever seen.
44
00:03:17,073 --> 00:03:19,700
And she was there with somebody else.
45
00:03:19,867 --> 00:03:23,954
She was very popular back then.
She had dozens of boyfriends.
46
00:03:24,163 --> 00:03:25,623
Hundreds.
47
00:03:26,290 --> 00:03:27,666
Hundreds?
48
00:03:27,958 --> 00:03:29,043
Yeah, hundreds.
49
00:03:29,210 --> 00:03:32,088
I did not know that. Ha, ha.
50
00:03:32,421 --> 00:03:34,006
Hundreds.
51
00:03:34,924 --> 00:03:37,802
Well, not that I didn't have
a reputation myself...
52
00:03:37,968 --> 00:03:41,889
...uh, because, you know,
I was considered...
53
00:03:42,098 --> 00:03:46,977
...by "some" to be quite
the Casanova, myself.
54
00:03:47,311 --> 00:03:51,774
Back at Ponce de Leon Junior High.
But we started dancing...
55
00:03:51,982 --> 00:03:54,151
He didn't want to dance!
I was dancing by myself.
56
00:03:54,318 --> 00:03:57,071
- I didn't want to dance because--
- I said, "Get up, Gerry."
57
00:03:57,279 --> 00:03:59,323
I kept saying, "No, I can't dance.
58
00:03:59,532 --> 00:04:02,368
I've got two left feet! I've got two left feet!"
59
00:04:02,576 --> 00:04:04,537
I thought he was kidding.
60
00:04:05,037 --> 00:04:06,497
But I wasn't.
61
00:04:06,747 --> 00:04:10,418
Um, I was born...
62
00:04:10,835 --> 00:04:13,003
...uh, with two left feet.
63
00:04:13,212 --> 00:04:15,840
And they had a nickname for me.
64
00:04:16,048 --> 00:04:17,633
They used to call me Loopy...
65
00:04:17,842 --> 00:04:20,344
...uh, because, you know,
I would walk in little loops.
66
00:04:20,511 --> 00:04:22,555
Uh, I kept going in circles.
67
00:04:22,721 --> 00:04:26,725
Um, and then with some therapy, I...
68
00:04:27,268 --> 00:04:28,978
I learned how to walk a straight line.
69
00:04:29,145 --> 00:04:30,521
And dance.
70
00:04:30,688 --> 00:04:32,857
- And dance!
- And dance. And dance.
71
00:04:33,023 --> 00:04:35,192
Oh, man, you got moves better than Winky,
I think.
72
00:04:35,359 --> 00:04:36,610
Well...
73
00:04:37,528 --> 00:04:41,365
MAN:
My great-grandfather Millbank, in 1875...
74
00:04:41,574 --> 00:04:45,369
...began the Mayflower Kennel Club
and Dog Show.
75
00:04:45,536 --> 00:04:48,497
{\an8}It was very small to begin with.
76
00:04:48,664 --> 00:04:50,916
{\an8}In fact, he operated
out of this house we're in...
77
00:04:51,125 --> 00:04:54,545
{\an8}...this beautiful building,
and this lovely room...
78
00:04:54,753 --> 00:04:58,549
...uh, which grew and grew, and of course,
nobody lives here anymore.
79
00:04:58,757 --> 00:05:00,426
But, it's our...
80
00:05:00,926 --> 00:05:02,344
It's our place.
81
00:05:02,553 --> 00:05:06,682
And then my grandfather
continued the tradition...
82
00:05:06,849 --> 00:05:10,519
...and really, I think what we're
talking about is standards, basically.
83
00:05:10,728 --> 00:05:14,690
Very, very specific, rigid, you could say...
84
00:05:14,899 --> 00:05:17,151
...but in this world, uh...
85
00:05:17,318 --> 00:05:19,320
...where would we be without them, I think.
86
00:05:19,487 --> 00:05:21,614
And notice where we are.
87
00:05:21,780 --> 00:05:24,909
Um, we've got some real standards...
88
00:05:25,117 --> 00:05:28,329
...and in Jessica's case,
we have a bite standard...
89
00:05:28,496 --> 00:05:31,624
...but we don't have
a number of teeth standard.
90
00:05:31,790 --> 00:05:35,127
But the breeds do differ in that,
but they're very strict...
91
00:05:35,294 --> 00:05:38,005
...uh, and they're very, very pure.
92
00:05:38,255 --> 00:05:39,465
And, that... Oh, yes?
93
00:05:39,632 --> 00:05:42,843
Did you hear that? Did you hear what I said?
I think she--
94
00:05:43,010 --> 00:05:45,888
[WHISPERING] I think you heard what I said.
You were listening to me.
95
00:05:50,351 --> 00:05:52,603
MAN:
Now, when somebody comes in here...
96
00:05:52,770 --> 00:05:55,814
...your average tourist, fisherperson, right?
97
00:05:55,981 --> 00:05:58,484
They want to know, "Where do I go?"
98
00:05:58,651 --> 00:06:01,153
So, what you do is sell them this map...
99
00:06:01,320 --> 00:06:03,113
...and all these different flies.
100
00:06:03,280 --> 00:06:05,783
You take the map.
You take your best places...
101
00:06:05,991 --> 00:06:09,620
...and you take the best fly for the place,
put it right on the map.
102
00:06:09,828 --> 00:06:12,790
Then you'd sell them the map.
Now they know where to go.
103
00:06:12,998 --> 00:06:14,500
We pick out the pattern for you.
104
00:06:14,750 --> 00:06:17,962
So let's say it could be a Disco Midge,
it could be a Beadhead...
105
00:06:18,170 --> 00:06:20,589
...it could be a Parachute Adams,
whatever it is.
106
00:06:20,798 --> 00:06:22,424
He doesn't have to think, "Oh."
107
00:06:22,633 --> 00:06:24,385
HARLAN:
Aside from fishing...
108
00:06:24,552 --> 00:06:27,805
{\an8}...dogs have always been a big thing
in my family.
109
00:06:28,013 --> 00:06:31,600
{\an8}My father was a coonhound man.
110
00:06:31,809 --> 00:06:33,811
He had red bones...
111
00:06:33,978 --> 00:06:36,855
...and his brother had a blue tick,
and his brother had a plott hound...
112
00:06:37,022 --> 00:06:39,233
...and some other members of the family...
113
00:06:39,441 --> 00:06:43,529
...they had Steven's stock
and some cataloona hounds.
114
00:06:43,737 --> 00:06:47,449
And my brother Otto
also had a red bone.
115
00:06:47,616 --> 00:06:50,160
We'd fight all the time.
He'd say, "I'm a red bone man!"
116
00:06:50,327 --> 00:06:52,580
I used to say, "I'm a bloodhound man!"
117
00:06:52,746 --> 00:06:58,002
The bloodhound, of all the breeds,
is just such a noble, loyal, perfect dog.
118
00:06:58,210 --> 00:06:59,795
You can't find a better dog...
119
00:06:59,962 --> 00:07:01,380
...on the whole planet Earth.
120
00:07:01,589 --> 00:07:04,008
And I would guess that even
if one day...
121
00:07:04,216 --> 00:07:07,636
...they land on some other planet
in Venus or Mars, whatever...
122
00:07:07,845 --> 00:07:09,972
...you couldn't find a better dog.
123
00:07:10,222 --> 00:07:13,183
And Hubert is the best hound
I've ever had.
124
00:07:13,392 --> 00:07:16,145
I've had probably 10 or 15.
125
00:07:16,312 --> 00:07:21,275
He is not only a great show dog,
but he could be a great man-trail dog.
126
00:07:21,525 --> 00:07:24,403
If the police came and said,
"I need a great bloodhound"...
127
00:07:24,653 --> 00:07:27,281
...he would be the one to take out.
128
00:07:27,489 --> 00:07:31,327
Because if there was some kind of
convict loose, you know, God forbid...
129
00:07:31,535 --> 00:07:33,579
...he would be the one to find him.
130
00:07:36,915 --> 00:07:39,585
{\an8}MAN: We got all fresh cuts today,
top-loin...
131
00:07:39,752 --> 00:07:42,838
...porterhouse, T-bone, blade,
ball-tip, tri-tip, chuck.
132
00:07:43,005 --> 00:07:46,675
- We got everything.
- So, basically, you know, meat. Ha, ha.
133
00:07:46,884 --> 00:07:48,284
- Got a lot of meat.
SCOTT: Oh, good.
134
00:07:48,427 --> 00:07:49,637
STEFAN:
Now, Tyrone...
135
00:07:49,803 --> 00:07:52,139
Tyrone liked those kidneys.
How about a half-pound?
136
00:07:52,348 --> 00:07:55,434
No, not the kidneys.
I don't want to pull the membranes.
137
00:07:55,643 --> 00:07:57,686
I'll take care of the membranes.
138
00:07:57,895 --> 00:07:59,855
- You could pull it off.
- Stop it.
139
00:08:00,564 --> 00:08:04,610
- Half of salmon and kidneys.
- All right.
140
00:08:04,818 --> 00:08:07,863
Do me a favor. Just get one of
those pepperoni sticks out.
141
00:08:08,072 --> 00:08:11,408
- I just want to hold it.
- Will you stop it? You are so bad.
142
00:08:11,659 --> 00:08:14,703
STEFAN: I had been a hairdresser
about 14 years...
143
00:08:14,912 --> 00:08:18,916
...and I went to a show,
and I saw his nibs here...
144
00:08:19,124 --> 00:08:21,418
{\an8}...uh, having his way with a borzoi.
145
00:08:21,627 --> 00:08:25,422
{\an8}Just trotting around that ring
like he was born to it, and he was.
146
00:08:25,631 --> 00:08:29,593
{\an8}And I asked my ex-wife, I said,
"Who's that?" She says, "That's Scott.
147
00:08:29,760 --> 00:08:30,969
He shows a good dog."
148
00:08:31,178 --> 00:08:33,764
I've never seen anyone as light on his feet--
149
00:08:33,931 --> 00:08:36,642
- Light in the loafers. Say it.
- No, no, no!
150
00:08:36,850 --> 00:08:38,560
- Stop. No.
- Wait until I tell Mom!
151
00:08:38,811 --> 00:08:43,107
It's just he and the borzoi
seemed to have the same prance, the same...
152
00:08:43,315 --> 00:08:47,111
It was like they were two members
of the same body, you might say.
153
00:08:47,319 --> 00:08:48,570
And it was a wonderful thing.
154
00:08:48,779 --> 00:08:51,907
I knew a guy who had two members
on the same body.
155
00:08:52,116 --> 00:08:53,909
- I dated him a half hour.
- In your dreams.
156
00:08:54,118 --> 00:08:57,746
Got so exhausted... Go on.
I'm sorry. You were telling a story.
157
00:08:57,955 --> 00:09:00,791
No, and I asked Deb, I said,
"Who's that?" She said:
158
00:09:00,999 --> 00:09:04,461
"That's Scott, and he cuts hair,
he grooms dogs...
159
00:09:04,712 --> 00:09:07,172
...and he shows dogs,
and he's a genius."
160
00:09:07,339 --> 00:09:11,593
- Then I was, like, wild man on campus.
- Club scene. Mr. Club-Scene here.
161
00:09:11,802 --> 00:09:15,764
On Friday night, I'd have three Saturday nights,
then go home and wake up.
162
00:09:15,973 --> 00:09:19,685
My, God, what a thrill.
Really, don't knock it till you've tried it.
163
00:09:19,852 --> 00:09:23,772
Anyway, so we get together,
we see several movies...
164
00:09:23,981 --> 00:09:26,316
- ...we like the same stuff.
- Before you know it...
165
00:09:26,525 --> 00:09:28,944
- It's the all-American love story.
- It sure is.
166
00:09:29,153 --> 00:09:30,863
Writ large.
167
00:09:31,196 --> 00:09:34,491
On the marquee, big letters: "Us."
168
00:09:36,243 --> 00:09:39,663
{\an8}WOMAN:
Leslie and I have been together five years.
169
00:09:39,913 --> 00:09:43,917
We have an amazing relationship,
and it's very physical.
170
00:09:44,126 --> 00:09:47,337
{\an8}I mean, he still pushes all my buttons.
171
00:09:47,504 --> 00:09:51,341
{\an8}And you know, people say,
"Oh, but he's so much older than you."
172
00:09:51,550 --> 00:09:55,888
And you know what?
I'm the one having to push him away.
173
00:09:56,680 --> 00:09:59,016
Yeah, we both have so much in common.
174
00:09:59,349 --> 00:10:01,393
We both love soup.
175
00:10:01,560 --> 00:10:05,397
And, uh, we love the outdoors.
176
00:10:05,606 --> 00:10:08,567
We love snow peas.
177
00:10:08,734 --> 00:10:10,861
And, uh...
178
00:10:11,278 --> 00:10:14,323
...talking and not talking.
179
00:10:16,325 --> 00:10:18,035
Uh...
180
00:10:19,995 --> 00:10:23,081
We could not talk or talk forever...
181
00:10:23,832 --> 00:10:27,336
...and still find things to not talk about.
182
00:10:31,173 --> 00:10:32,883
Uh, hi. I'm Graham Chissolm.
183
00:10:33,050 --> 00:10:36,386
{\an8}And I'm the show chairman here
at the Mayflower Dog Show.
184
00:10:36,595 --> 00:10:38,639
Uh, this is a very special time for me.
185
00:10:38,847 --> 00:10:41,517
It's something I do every year
before the show...
186
00:10:41,683 --> 00:10:46,897
...uh, is come here and kind of,
for the last time, enjoy the solitude...
187
00:10:47,064 --> 00:10:50,192
...uh, of what I call a blank canvas. Heh.
188
00:10:50,359 --> 00:10:54,696
And, uh, there it is right there.
There's nothing out there.
189
00:10:54,863 --> 00:10:58,742
Uh, not that I can see, anyway. No one here.
190
00:10:58,909 --> 00:11:03,413
In five days from now,
you are not gonna believe the difference.
191
00:11:03,580 --> 00:11:06,917
This center will be packed with people.
192
00:11:07,125 --> 00:11:10,003
And the roar of the crowd, the energy...
193
00:11:10,170 --> 00:11:12,589
...that this building will exude
will be phenomenal...
194
00:11:12,798 --> 00:11:15,551
...with winners and losers.
Although no one loses.
195
00:11:15,759 --> 00:11:19,096
We don't like to say that.
But some have a long drive home.
196
00:11:19,304 --> 00:11:22,641
And there are sad eyes on some dogs
that worked hard to get here.
197
00:11:24,017 --> 00:11:26,854
{\an8}MEG:
Hamilton? Hamilton.
198
00:11:27,020 --> 00:11:30,107
- We gotta call Dr. Nelken.
- Why?
199
00:11:30,274 --> 00:11:32,192
Beatrice made a pee-pee on the sheets...
200
00:11:32,359 --> 00:11:34,194
...and a poopie in your slipper.
201
00:11:34,361 --> 00:11:36,113
- In my Orvis slippers?
- I don't know.
202
00:11:37,072 --> 00:11:38,866
- God.
- You been talking to her?
203
00:11:39,074 --> 00:11:41,869
- Of course I have.
- What have you been saying?
204
00:11:42,077 --> 00:11:44,538
I've been saying that when we make love...
205
00:11:44,746 --> 00:11:46,290
...it's a beautiful thing.
206
00:11:47,040 --> 00:11:48,667
Sometimes.
207
00:11:49,126 --> 00:11:51,503
- Excuse me?
MEG: We met at Starbucks.
208
00:11:51,670 --> 00:11:53,881
Not at the same Starbucks.
We saw each other...
209
00:11:54,047 --> 00:11:57,843
...at different Starbucks across
the street from each other...
210
00:11:59,386 --> 00:12:03,807
{\an8}...and Hamilton got up the courage
to walk across the street one day...
211
00:12:04,057 --> 00:12:06,602
...and approached me.
212
00:12:06,810 --> 00:12:10,898
- Yeah, I'd seen you at law school before.
- Yeah.
213
00:12:11,064 --> 00:12:13,901
And I know that sometimes
I'd be in one Starbucks...
214
00:12:14,067 --> 00:12:17,279
...you'd be in the other Starbucks,
and then I'd think...
215
00:12:17,487 --> 00:12:19,489
...I should go over to that Starbucks next.
216
00:12:19,740 --> 00:12:22,492
And then you'd be at the other Starbucks.
So we kind of crossed...
217
00:12:22,659 --> 00:12:23,702
[LAUGHING]
218
00:12:23,869 --> 00:12:26,663
- I know. It sounds so stupid now.
- He's so good.
219
00:12:26,872 --> 00:12:30,208
I remember I was drinking
a grande espresso when I met you.
220
00:12:30,417 --> 00:12:33,420
That's right, and I thought
that was really sexy.
221
00:12:33,587 --> 00:12:35,839
- I was drinking cappuccinos.
- I remember.
222
00:12:36,006 --> 00:12:39,801
Then I went to lattes, and then now,
double espressos macchiato.
223
00:12:39,968 --> 00:12:44,097
And I'm now a big old, you know,
Chai-tea-latte, soy milk kind of guy.
224
00:12:44,306 --> 00:12:45,974
- Soy. Yeah.
- Because of the lactose.
225
00:12:46,141 --> 00:12:48,977
- Mm-hm. You're lactose intolerant now.
- Mm-hm.
226
00:12:49,144 --> 00:12:52,940
And I walked across the street,
and there you were and...
227
00:12:53,106 --> 00:12:54,232
Working on my Mac.
228
00:12:54,441 --> 00:12:56,360
- And I had my Mac.
- Your Mac.
229
00:12:56,568 --> 00:13:01,573
And there, and then, I look over
and she's reading J. Crew.
230
00:13:01,782 --> 00:13:06,370
That's so weird, as I was such a huge
J. Crew person then too. Still am.
231
00:13:06,536 --> 00:13:07,579
Mm-hm.
232
00:13:07,746 --> 00:13:10,707
We sometimes like to just go to
Starbucks on weekends and...
233
00:13:10,916 --> 00:13:12,250
...take an L.L. Bean catalog.
234
00:13:12,459 --> 00:13:14,044
I'll say, "Honey, what's new?"
235
00:13:14,252 --> 00:13:16,880
She has five minutes to look
and find what's new.
236
00:13:17,089 --> 00:13:19,216
They've been around forever.
We are so lucky.
237
00:13:19,383 --> 00:13:22,886
We were so lucky to have been raised
amongst catalogs.
238
00:13:23,053 --> 00:13:24,805
Oh, it's so much easier.
239
00:13:24,972 --> 00:13:27,516
You don't have to deal with people as much.
240
00:13:27,724 --> 00:13:29,726
You can just talk to the person
on the phone.
241
00:13:29,935 --> 00:13:31,269
- Or not.
- Yeah.
242
00:13:32,562 --> 00:13:36,900
HARLAN: I like to take Hubert
for a walk in the woods before...
243
00:13:37,109 --> 00:13:39,152
...I show him, because...
244
00:13:39,361 --> 00:13:42,614
...it's a more natural
kind of environment for him...
245
00:13:42,823 --> 00:13:44,783
...and it makes him relax,
and it makes me...
246
00:13:45,325 --> 00:13:48,412
...relax too, to not think about
the competition.
247
00:13:48,620 --> 00:13:51,498
Just take a walk and, you know...
248
00:13:51,665 --> 00:13:55,002
...smell the ground and all that, and, uh...
249
00:13:55,168 --> 00:13:57,337
What'd you smell? What'd you smell?
250
00:13:57,546 --> 00:14:01,299
See, a lot of times,
what he's doing is, he's--
251
00:14:01,466 --> 00:14:04,511
A bloodhound not only has a great nose,
but he also--
252
00:14:04,678 --> 00:14:07,305
They can talk.
So, what he's doing, he's talking.
253
00:14:07,472 --> 00:14:09,391
He's saying, "What'd you talk?"
254
00:14:09,599 --> 00:14:11,727
What'd you talk? What'd you talk?
255
00:14:11,935 --> 00:14:14,771
He's saying, "I'm ready."
That's when he's ready for a show.
256
00:14:14,980 --> 00:14:17,816
Because he says, "I'm ready. I'm ready."
257
00:14:18,025 --> 00:14:21,403
See, then I know he's ready.
What is it, boy?
258
00:14:21,611 --> 00:14:24,906
He says, "I'm ready.
I've walked and I'm ready."
259
00:14:25,157 --> 00:14:27,617
Have a good night's sleep, and then...
260
00:14:27,784 --> 00:14:30,746
...we'll get going
and it'll be showtime for you, right?
261
00:14:30,954 --> 00:14:33,915
Now, look at that.
The judge will look at him and say...
262
00:14:34,207 --> 00:14:38,211
"Hey. Hey. Hey."
263
00:14:38,378 --> 00:14:40,797
Sometimes I think he'll talk
to the judge and say:
264
00:14:41,006 --> 00:14:44,760
"Hey, judge. Hey, judge. Look at me."
265
00:14:44,968 --> 00:14:47,429
I mean, the dog isn't going to talk.
266
00:14:47,637 --> 00:14:50,390
But his mind is like a telepathy...
267
00:14:51,266 --> 00:14:52,642
...thing where he says:
268
00:14:52,851 --> 00:14:57,314
"I'm the best one here.
I'm the best one you've ever seen."
269
00:14:57,814 --> 00:15:00,484
The judge, in his mind,
because he can pick up...
270
00:15:00,692 --> 00:15:02,569
...on the telepathy, will...
271
00:15:03,028 --> 00:15:04,988
...sometimes give him...
272
00:15:05,989 --> 00:15:07,365
...the blue ribbon.
273
00:15:07,616 --> 00:15:11,745
"Hey, judge! What's going on in there?
274
00:15:11,995 --> 00:15:13,830
I know what you're thinking.
275
00:15:14,039 --> 00:15:18,293
And I'm the best dog in the whole ring."
See?
276
00:15:18,502 --> 00:15:21,129
That's not a bad idea.
Maybe I just should...
277
00:15:21,338 --> 00:15:24,674
...do that. Practice that, right? Hubert.
278
00:15:25,759 --> 00:15:27,761
JACK: Congratulations!
GERRY: The big show.
279
00:15:27,969 --> 00:15:29,930
- You gotta be happy.
- The big show.
280
00:15:30,263 --> 00:15:31,932
What'll you do in Philly?
281
00:15:32,140 --> 00:15:33,725
- What will you see?
- Everything.
282
00:15:33,934 --> 00:15:35,685
We're gonna see the Liberty Bell...
283
00:15:35,894 --> 00:15:38,271
...the place where
they make the cream cheese...
284
00:15:38,480 --> 00:15:40,357
Oh, honey! Honey.
285
00:15:40,690 --> 00:15:44,402
They're gonna go to Philly and see
where they make the cream cheese...
286
00:15:44,611 --> 00:15:46,363
...we've been talking about for years!
287
00:15:46,571 --> 00:15:49,074
I want to see where they make
the light cream cheese.
288
00:15:49,282 --> 00:15:52,160
I don't want to go to that other building.
Please.
289
00:15:52,327 --> 00:15:55,705
Yes, that factory is not made out of brick,
I don't think.
290
00:15:55,872 --> 00:15:57,040
[ALL LAUGHING]
291
00:15:57,249 --> 00:16:00,418
- We'll cross our fingers for you.
- Fingers crossed.
292
00:16:01,586 --> 00:16:05,173
We'll stop to see friends in Akron.
I told you about the Bermans.
293
00:16:05,590 --> 00:16:08,135
Our good friends. We'll stop there.
We can stay with them.
294
00:16:08,343 --> 00:16:10,220
You've talked about him before.
295
00:16:10,428 --> 00:16:11,555
They're dear friends.
296
00:16:11,763 --> 00:16:14,975
My wife wants to drive 140 miles
out of our way...
297
00:16:15,183 --> 00:16:17,644
...to see some people we saw
two or three years ago, so...
298
00:16:18,186 --> 00:16:20,230
I, ahem...
299
00:16:21,648 --> 00:16:22,983
Anyway.
300
00:16:24,067 --> 00:16:26,403
Oh, someone's still a little jealous.
301
00:16:26,611 --> 00:16:28,029
Oh. Oh, jealous?
302
00:16:28,238 --> 00:16:30,866
- How many years ago did he poke me?
- Ha, ha.
303
00:16:31,116 --> 00:16:32,450
How many years ago was that?
304
00:16:32,659 --> 00:16:36,246
You've met my wife the comedian.
She thinks I'm jealous.
305
00:16:36,413 --> 00:16:37,914
I'm sure it's all over with.
306
00:16:38,081 --> 00:16:42,043
- Aw, come on. Look how sweet.
- Now see, that's why it works.
307
00:16:42,252 --> 00:16:46,506
BOTH [SINGING]:
God loves a terrier
308
00:16:46,715 --> 00:16:48,258
- Yes, he does
- Yes, he does
309
00:16:48,466 --> 00:16:52,721
- God loves a terrier
- God loves a terrier
310
00:16:52,971 --> 00:16:54,306
- That's because
- That's because
311
00:16:54,472 --> 00:16:57,142
- Small, sturdy, bright and true
- Small, sturdy, bright and true
312
00:16:57,350 --> 00:16:59,895
- They give their love to you
- They give their love to you
313
00:17:00,103 --> 00:17:02,314
- God didn't miss a stitch
- God didn't miss a stitch
314
00:17:02,772 --> 00:17:04,774
- Be it dog or be it bitch
- Be it dog or be it bitch
315
00:17:04,941 --> 00:17:07,444
When he made the Norwich merrier
316
00:17:07,611 --> 00:17:10,197
- With his cute little derrière
- With his cute little derrière
317
00:17:10,405 --> 00:17:15,869
- Yes, God loves a terrier
- Yes, God loves a terrier
318
00:17:16,036 --> 00:17:17,621
[CROWD CHEERING]
319
00:17:18,955 --> 00:17:22,334
What is this? What is this ball?
What is this ball?
320
00:17:22,542 --> 00:17:24,169
Is this your ball? Is this your ball?
321
00:17:24,377 --> 00:17:28,215
SHERRI ANN: We have a wonderful
working relationship.
322
00:17:28,381 --> 00:17:30,675
And I...
323
00:17:30,842 --> 00:17:33,595
...have to say
I wanted the best handler...
324
00:17:33,762 --> 00:17:36,973
{\an8}- ...and I get what I want.
- That's right. You sure did.
325
00:17:37,140 --> 00:17:41,144
{\an8}And this kennel that I opened up
was really just a kennel...
326
00:17:41,353 --> 00:17:43,855
{\an8}...until, um, Sherri Ann and Leslie
showed up...
327
00:17:44,064 --> 00:17:47,484
...and their generosity has turned
this humble little kennel--
328
00:17:47,692 --> 00:17:51,154
- It was a shit box.
- Well, yeah.
329
00:17:51,488 --> 00:17:55,784
They have turned this place into
a cutting-edge, state-of-the-art...
330
00:17:56,243 --> 00:18:00,997
...kennel facility and I'm just so grateful to them.
It's just fantastic.
331
00:18:02,749 --> 00:18:04,000
[CHRISTY SHOUTING]
332
00:18:04,834 --> 00:18:08,380
With Sherri Ann, we have this fantastic
friendship too. It's really great.
333
00:18:08,588 --> 00:18:11,383
And we have a little bit of a family
dynamic going here...
334
00:18:11,591 --> 00:18:13,885
...and pretty much mirrors
what I grew up with.
335
00:18:14,094 --> 00:18:18,515
My father was the taskmaster...
336
00:18:18,723 --> 00:18:21,851
...the disciplinarian, which is what I do,
I'm the mommy/daddy.
337
00:18:22,060 --> 00:18:23,853
Like, Mr. Punishment.
338
00:18:24,062 --> 00:18:25,981
Well, you know, I also reward.
339
00:18:26,189 --> 00:18:29,025
But Sherri is responsible
for the unconditional love, you know.
340
00:18:29,234 --> 00:18:31,653
And the decorative abilities.
341
00:18:31,861 --> 00:18:34,698
Exactly. The heart and soul,
which is what my mother did.
342
00:18:34,906 --> 00:18:38,076
That was her job.
She was there for unconditional love.
343
00:18:38,243 --> 00:18:39,995
And it worked for my family...
344
00:18:40,203 --> 00:18:42,747
...until my mom committed suicide in '81.
345
00:18:44,791 --> 00:18:47,168
JACK: Here, let me help you out.
Let me help you.
346
00:18:47,377 --> 00:18:48,545
GERRY:
I got it, I got it.
347
00:18:48,753 --> 00:18:52,048
Come on, slow down, you got a long
trip ahead of you, boy.
348
00:18:52,382 --> 00:18:53,982
Okay, for Winky's poopies, just in case.
349
00:18:54,134 --> 00:18:55,885
- You're so thoughtful.
- Love you.
350
00:18:56,094 --> 00:18:57,304
- Thank you.
- We love you.
351
00:18:57,512 --> 00:18:59,139
And thanks for checking in
on the house.
352
00:18:59,347 --> 00:19:03,852
Sherman's War Trail in Atlanta,
get a ham sandwich at Lee's Comeuppance.
353
00:19:04,060 --> 00:19:07,063
Make sure you stop there
and get a ham sandwich.
354
00:19:08,606 --> 00:19:10,567
Jack, the keys.
355
00:19:10,775 --> 00:19:12,861
- Front door--
- We know how to get in.
356
00:19:13,069 --> 00:19:15,030
- Have a good one.
- Have a great time.
357
00:19:15,238 --> 00:19:17,073
Bring home the blue ribbon!
358
00:19:17,282 --> 00:19:18,992
Don't water the plants, they're plastic.
359
00:19:19,159 --> 00:19:20,702
[LAUGHING]
360
00:19:21,077 --> 00:19:23,496
- Bring home the blue ribbon.
GERRY: Okay.
361
00:19:23,663 --> 00:19:26,166
LAINIE:
We'll have drinks when you get back.
362
00:19:26,333 --> 00:19:27,876
JACK:
Forward...
363
00:19:28,168 --> 00:19:30,003
...ho!
364
00:19:30,211 --> 00:19:32,088
ALL:
Bye!
365
00:19:32,297 --> 00:19:33,673
JENNIFER:
See you!
366
00:19:33,882 --> 00:19:36,426
LAINIE:
Have a great time!
367
00:19:37,594 --> 00:19:39,387
You got your road map and stuff?
368
00:19:39,596 --> 00:19:41,806
I think I'm all set, fellas.
369
00:19:41,973 --> 00:19:45,143
- What you got in here?
- That's a little thing I picked up.
370
00:19:45,310 --> 00:19:47,020
Will you do some fishing?
371
00:19:47,187 --> 00:19:48,563
No, I'm going to the dog show.
372
00:19:48,730 --> 00:19:50,940
They ain't got no lakes or rivers?
373
00:19:51,107 --> 00:19:54,069
I don't think I'll have much time to do that.
374
00:19:54,235 --> 00:19:57,989
Good luck, Hubert!
Go put some hurt on them Yankee dogs.
375
00:19:58,198 --> 00:20:00,784
- Thanks.
- We'll take care of everything.
376
00:20:00,992 --> 00:20:03,828
Don't have to worry about nothing.
We got it in order.
377
00:20:04,037 --> 00:20:07,499
This is that tape I was telling you about
with the funny songs.
378
00:20:07,665 --> 00:20:10,710
- It's real good for the road.
- That's great. Thanks.
379
00:20:11,711 --> 00:20:14,798
- Bon voyage, Hubert. Good luck.
- Catch a big one!
380
00:20:15,006 --> 00:20:17,759
Have a good time!
Hubert, who'll catch a big fish?
381
00:20:17,967 --> 00:20:20,220
- Who's going fishing?
- Go get them, Hubert.
382
00:20:20,387 --> 00:20:22,097
- You the dog!
- Have a good time.
383
00:20:22,305 --> 00:20:27,685
DALE: If you get tired, pull over.
If you get hungry, eat something. Bye.
384
00:20:30,021 --> 00:20:31,773
See you, Hubert!
385
00:20:31,940 --> 00:20:35,360
Don't forget the tape! Bye-bye.
386
00:20:37,529 --> 00:20:38,822
GRAHAM:
Well, we've started...
387
00:20:38,988 --> 00:20:41,282
...you can call a little bit
of superstition on my part...
388
00:20:41,491 --> 00:20:44,786
...but I always like to put up
the official curtain, so to speak...
389
00:20:44,994 --> 00:20:47,455
...uh, because this curtain here
will carry the...
390
00:20:47,664 --> 00:20:50,166
...official symbol
of the Mayflower Dog Show.
391
00:20:50,375 --> 00:20:54,629
Really spread the arms, guys,
so it doesn't get dirty. Thanks.
392
00:20:54,879 --> 00:20:57,715
Behind it is the holding area
where the chief steward will be.
393
00:20:57,966 --> 00:21:01,010
He'll make sure everybody
has the proper armbands, so they can...
394
00:21:01,219 --> 00:21:04,597
Identifying the dog with the handler
is very important, of course.
395
00:21:04,806 --> 00:21:08,852
All that anxiety and chaos happens
behind the curtain, which is good...
396
00:21:09,060 --> 00:21:12,355
...so these people here can enjoy the show
and not see that.
397
00:21:12,564 --> 00:21:15,733
Guys, really shake it out there.
Let's get the dirt off it.
398
00:21:15,942 --> 00:21:19,237
That's it. Been in a box for a year.
399
00:21:19,529 --> 00:21:21,906
Oh, these have to come...
400
00:21:22,073 --> 00:21:24,951
- ...because...
- Counting those...
401
00:21:25,118 --> 00:21:27,662
...you've already packed six kimonos.
402
00:21:27,829 --> 00:21:29,873
All right, so here is seven.
403
00:21:30,081 --> 00:21:33,084
We're in Philadelphia for 48 hours.
404
00:21:33,543 --> 00:21:36,212
That's seven, so I need, actually, one more.
405
00:21:36,421 --> 00:21:38,173
How many tea services can you do?
406
00:21:38,339 --> 00:21:42,260
Why are you doing this?
I think we're overpacking. Don't you?
407
00:21:42,427 --> 00:21:43,803
Well, no.
408
00:21:46,973 --> 00:21:49,476
HARLAN [SINGING]:
There's a local honky-tonk
409
00:21:49,642 --> 00:21:51,436
Down in Louisiana
410
00:21:51,603 --> 00:21:54,063
Where the biscuits and gravy
411
00:21:54,230 --> 00:21:57,192
Are like Dixie's manna
412
00:21:57,484 --> 00:21:59,903
Let's go honky-tonk now
413
00:22:01,571 --> 00:22:04,991
I used to be able to name every nut...
414
00:22:05,158 --> 00:22:06,367
...that there was.
415
00:22:06,534 --> 00:22:09,537
And that used to drive my mother crazy.
She used to say:
416
00:22:09,704 --> 00:22:14,167
"Harlan Pepper,
if you don't stop naming nuts..."
417
00:22:14,334 --> 00:22:16,711
And the joke was that we lived in Pinenut...
418
00:22:16,920 --> 00:22:21,049
...and I think that's what put it
in my head at that point.
419
00:22:21,257 --> 00:22:25,345
I'd go to sleep, she'd hear me,
she would just start yelling.
420
00:22:25,929 --> 00:22:27,764
I'd say, "Peanut.
421
00:22:28,515 --> 00:22:30,058
Hazelnut.
422
00:22:30,642 --> 00:22:32,435
Cashew nut.
423
00:22:34,145 --> 00:22:37,232
Macadamia nut."
That was the one that would send her...
424
00:22:37,440 --> 00:22:38,858
...into...
425
00:22:39,234 --> 00:22:42,946
...going crazy. She said,
"You stop naming nuts!"
426
00:22:43,613 --> 00:22:46,616
And Hubert used to be able
to make the sound.
427
00:22:46,824 --> 00:22:48,660
He wasn't talking, but he used to go...
428
00:22:48,826 --> 00:22:50,161
[HOWLS]
429
00:22:50,328 --> 00:22:53,289
And it sounded like macadamia nut.
430
00:22:53,456 --> 00:22:55,250
Pine nut...
431
00:22:55,416 --> 00:22:58,711
...which is a nut,
but it's also the name of the town.
432
00:22:59,796 --> 00:23:02,048
Pistachio nut.
433
00:23:02,340 --> 00:23:04,342
Red pistachio nut.
434
00:23:04,509 --> 00:23:08,596
Natural, all-natural,
white pistachio nut.
435
00:23:09,639 --> 00:23:11,516
- Is that everything? With all the bags?
- Yes.
436
00:23:11,683 --> 00:23:13,768
- It doesn't look like everything.
- What?
437
00:23:13,977 --> 00:23:16,312
- It doesn't look like everything.
- It is. I counted.
438
00:23:16,521 --> 00:23:17,647
It doesn't look like it.
439
00:23:17,855 --> 00:23:19,440
Next time, call a car service.
440
00:23:19,649 --> 00:23:22,777
You should be on time,
then we wouldn't have to take a taxi.
441
00:23:22,944 --> 00:23:24,028
I can't hear you!
442
00:23:24,195 --> 00:23:26,990
I said, if you were ready on time,
we wouldn't have to take a taxi.
443
00:23:27,198 --> 00:23:30,159
If we had a car service,
they would've pick us up on time.
444
00:23:30,368 --> 00:23:32,370
Meg, do you have the tickets?
445
00:23:33,037 --> 00:23:34,747
Do you have the tickets?
446
00:23:34,956 --> 00:23:36,749
- You have the tickets.
- No, I do not.
447
00:23:36,916 --> 00:23:38,042
[GRUNTS]
448
00:23:38,209 --> 00:23:40,295
- Hey, what kind of dog is that?
- A Weimaraner.
449
00:23:40,503 --> 00:23:41,629
You have the tickets.
450
00:23:41,796 --> 00:23:42,922
How are you, little fella?
451
00:23:43,089 --> 00:23:44,090
[BARKING]
452
00:23:44,257 --> 00:23:45,592
HAMILTON:
What did you do?
453
00:23:45,758 --> 00:23:48,970
- Did you provoke her?
- What did you do? Did you pinch her?
454
00:23:49,137 --> 00:23:50,217
He almost took off my hand!
455
00:23:50,388 --> 00:23:52,974
You just get walking, buddy, right now!
456
00:23:53,182 --> 00:23:56,311
I'll file a personal assault charge against you
so fast, your head will spin.
457
00:23:56,477 --> 00:23:59,022
- Put a muzzle on that, and yourself!
HAMILTON: Get out of here!
458
00:23:59,188 --> 00:24:02,150
MEG: You know who you're talking to?
- Crazy people, crazy dog!
459
00:24:03,359 --> 00:24:04,527
Here we go, come on.
460
00:24:04,694 --> 00:24:07,322
He's a mean man. Here you go.
461
00:24:07,530 --> 00:24:09,198
Take your busy bee. Come on, winner.
462
00:24:09,407 --> 00:24:11,576
- Oh, no! Come on!
- Meg, settle down.
463
00:24:11,784 --> 00:24:14,454
She's not even reacting to the toy.
464
00:24:15,913 --> 00:24:17,498
COOKIE:
11728.
465
00:24:17,665 --> 00:24:20,668
GERRY:
117...
466
00:24:21,711 --> 00:24:22,920
COOKIE:
It's on this side.
467
00:24:23,129 --> 00:24:25,089
GERRY:
28.
468
00:24:25,757 --> 00:24:28,551
26. Here we go!
469
00:24:28,760 --> 00:24:30,011
That's it. Yeah.
470
00:24:30,219 --> 00:24:31,888
Oh, my God.
471
00:24:32,096 --> 00:24:33,681
What a dump.
472
00:24:33,931 --> 00:24:37,143
- You said they got a better place.
- They did.
473
00:24:37,727 --> 00:24:39,520
If you live in skid row.
474
00:24:39,687 --> 00:24:41,272
[COOKIE GRUNTS]
475
00:24:41,481 --> 00:24:43,733
You did it. Good dog.
476
00:24:43,941 --> 00:24:46,944
- I'm getting heart palpitations.
- Gerry.
477
00:24:47,445 --> 00:24:49,322
- I can't help it.
- Gerry, listen to me.
478
00:24:49,489 --> 00:24:51,699
- Max is so history!
- Yeah.
479
00:24:51,866 --> 00:24:53,368
Who's my future?
480
00:24:53,701 --> 00:24:55,161
Hmm?
481
00:24:57,121 --> 00:24:58,956
Well, let's...
482
00:24:59,123 --> 00:25:00,416
...get going!
483
00:25:00,583 --> 00:25:03,086
- Hi! Welcome!
- Hi.
484
00:25:03,294 --> 00:25:04,587
Nice to see you!
485
00:25:04,796 --> 00:25:06,516
COOKIE: Good to see you.
GERRY: How are you?
486
00:25:06,673 --> 00:25:07,840
It's so nice. Great!
487
00:25:08,007 --> 00:25:10,093
COOKIE: Nice house.
GERRY: Yes, what a wonderful...
488
00:25:10,301 --> 00:25:14,097
- Oh, nice to see you.
GERRY: Good to see you. It's been so long.
489
00:25:14,305 --> 00:25:16,391
- Gerry, how's the boy?
- Hello, Max.
490
00:25:16,599 --> 00:25:18,976
Watch out for that one.
491
00:25:19,185 --> 00:25:21,521
- Hey, Cookie.
- Oh, Max.
492
00:25:21,938 --> 00:25:24,023
Twice, like the French.
Come here, boy.
493
00:25:24,232 --> 00:25:27,276
- You remember Winky?
- He's a sweet boy, he's fuzzy.
494
00:25:27,485 --> 00:25:30,863
- God bless him. Mm, here, go to Daddy.
- What?
495
00:25:31,114 --> 00:25:33,950
- Fay, thank you so much for letting--
- Oh.
496
00:25:36,411 --> 00:25:39,163
COOKIE: Okay.
- Come on, let me show you around.
497
00:25:39,997 --> 00:25:41,916
COOKIE:
I'll go get the bags.
498
00:25:44,961 --> 00:25:47,964
{\an8}This is our biggest week of the year here
at the Taft.
499
00:25:48,131 --> 00:25:50,091
{\an8}We're a popular hotel year-round...
500
00:25:50,258 --> 00:25:53,010
...but now is when we feel excitement...
501
00:25:53,177 --> 00:25:56,347
...when the dog show comes through,
and all the familiar faces...
502
00:25:56,514 --> 00:25:58,891
...um, canine and, you know...
503
00:25:59,058 --> 00:26:02,770
...human alike come and we get
to see our friends again...
504
00:26:02,979 --> 00:26:05,690
...and make the place ready.
Lots of work involved.
505
00:26:05,857 --> 00:26:09,652
The key to welcoming animals
into a hotel is...
506
00:26:09,819 --> 00:26:11,988
...maintaining a certain level of hygiene.
507
00:26:12,196 --> 00:26:14,782
And that's what this room is all about.
508
00:26:14,949 --> 00:26:18,619
We're pretty well-supplied here
for any kind of contingency.
509
00:26:18,786 --> 00:26:20,955
Uh, your small dogs, your big dogs.
510
00:26:21,122 --> 00:26:24,333
This is a good, safe product,
doesn't have bad odor...
511
00:26:24,542 --> 00:26:27,420
...chemical smell for small stains,
usually small dogs...
512
00:26:27,628 --> 00:26:30,506
...Pomeranian, your little teacup poodle,
what have you.
513
00:26:30,715 --> 00:26:32,133
This is a good product.
514
00:26:32,341 --> 00:26:37,221
Sometimes, your bigger dog,
your Great Dane, your Bull Mastiff, Rottweiler...
515
00:26:37,430 --> 00:26:42,310
...you need to up the ante a little bit.
This is another good cleaning product.
516
00:26:42,477 --> 00:26:44,520
For the big critters, the big stains...
517
00:26:44,687 --> 00:26:48,107
...sometimes you need the nuclear weaponry,
the sodium hydrochloride.
518
00:26:48,274 --> 00:26:51,986
Um, I don't know if I can tell this,
I won't mention names...
519
00:26:52,153 --> 00:26:54,781
...we had a rock group here...
520
00:26:54,947 --> 00:26:57,867
...so we put down the rubber sheets
in the beds...
521
00:26:58,075 --> 00:27:00,870
...but apparently they didn't see
the toilet in the room.
522
00:27:01,078 --> 00:27:05,458
So we had a lot of cleaning to do
after they checked out.
523
00:27:05,625 --> 00:27:09,045
You know, roasting a goat in the room,
I still don't understand.
524
00:27:09,295 --> 00:27:11,088
Getting the smell of...
525
00:27:11,297 --> 00:27:14,550
...cumin and charcoal out
of the drapes was a chore.
526
00:27:14,759 --> 00:27:16,010
That was a big deal.
527
00:27:16,219 --> 00:27:18,387
We get an imprint of the credit card now.
528
00:27:18,638 --> 00:27:20,097
We learned from that one.
529
00:27:20,640 --> 00:27:23,559
- This is great, Fay. Thank you.
FAY: You're welcome.
530
00:27:23,726 --> 00:27:25,394
- Super.
- It's like...
531
00:27:25,603 --> 00:27:27,855
...I know it tastes better,
but it looks like that...
532
00:27:28,064 --> 00:27:30,191
...ahem, cafeteria hot-plate food.
You know?
533
00:27:30,399 --> 00:27:33,110
Which I never tasted.
I didn't want to look like a loser.
534
00:27:33,319 --> 00:27:34,529
But it tastes good.
535
00:27:34,695 --> 00:27:38,658
I had that food every single day.
And, um, it was 50 cents back then.
536
00:27:38,825 --> 00:27:39,951
It was pretty cheap.
537
00:27:40,159 --> 00:27:41,786
What's that you've got there?
538
00:27:41,994 --> 00:27:44,872
- A parachuter.
- A parachuter!
539
00:27:45,039 --> 00:27:46,958
FAY: It's not a doll.
It's an action figure.
540
00:27:47,166 --> 00:27:48,751
GERRY:
It is an action figure.
541
00:27:48,960 --> 00:27:50,878
Yes, you got that right. So, so...
542
00:27:51,045 --> 00:27:53,422
...what does that, what is--?
543
00:27:53,589 --> 00:27:55,758
What do you do with the parachuter?
544
00:27:55,925 --> 00:27:57,802
It goes up and down like this.
545
00:27:57,969 --> 00:28:00,096
Honey, no, no, no.
Don't let it fall in your food.
546
00:28:00,304 --> 00:28:02,014
Mommy's not mad, but don't do that.
547
00:28:02,223 --> 00:28:05,476
- Is it okay if I let Winky walk around?
MAX: Yeah.
548
00:28:05,685 --> 00:28:09,272
I've got my puffer. It's okay. Ahem.
549
00:28:09,897 --> 00:28:11,399
I had a terrible day today.
550
00:28:11,607 --> 00:28:14,235
I can't get rid of it in my head.
551
00:28:14,735 --> 00:28:17,280
You have a bad day,
someone returns a sweater.
552
00:28:17,446 --> 00:28:20,283
I do and lives get lost.
People lose their lives.
553
00:28:21,617 --> 00:28:25,496
I'm the chief hostage negotiator
for the Akron and tri-county area.
554
00:28:25,663 --> 00:28:30,209
And I talk people down. When they get
a jumper on a building, they call me.
555
00:28:30,918 --> 00:28:34,547
How many people
have you talked down?
556
00:28:34,714 --> 00:28:37,717
- I mean, is there a...?
- Well, they always jump.
557
00:28:37,884 --> 00:28:41,345
I've got news for you.
It's a little secret from the trade. They all jump.
558
00:28:41,721 --> 00:28:44,390
But today, we had a tough one.
There's a guy, he jumps...
559
00:28:44,557 --> 00:28:47,226
...that doesn't bother me,
it happens all the time.
560
00:28:47,393 --> 00:28:49,770
You think they drop like rocks. They don't.
561
00:28:49,937 --> 00:28:51,981
He hit a gargoyle on the way down.
562
00:28:52,148 --> 00:28:55,902
This guy gets his head caught
in the gargoyle's mouth. The head...
563
00:28:56,694 --> 00:29:00,573
...pops off like a grape, the body continues
to spin down like a whirligig.
564
00:29:00,740 --> 00:29:02,241
When they hit...
565
00:29:02,408 --> 00:29:04,327
...everything pops out. It's like a piñata.
566
00:29:04,493 --> 00:29:07,371
The intestines,
like they're spring-loaded...
567
00:29:07,538 --> 00:29:10,917
...pop out. Forgive me. You know what?
568
00:29:11,083 --> 00:29:13,878
I was remembering that time
with you and me at the lake.
569
00:29:14,253 --> 00:29:15,796
With the piñata. Remember?
570
00:29:15,963 --> 00:29:18,090
Was that you? Are you sure that was you?
571
00:29:18,257 --> 00:29:20,343
- I think you know who it was.
COOKIE: I know.
572
00:29:20,509 --> 00:29:21,802
It was a long time ago, and...
573
00:29:22,011 --> 00:29:23,679
MAX:
Seems like last week, I'll tell you.
574
00:29:23,888 --> 00:29:25,514
You wouldn't know, she was famous...
575
00:29:25,681 --> 00:29:28,559
...for putting both her legs behind her head.
576
00:29:28,726 --> 00:29:31,228
- Fay--
- He's like an animal.
577
00:29:31,437 --> 00:29:34,690
- No, it's just talk!
- He's just like an animal.
578
00:29:34,857 --> 00:29:37,485
Piñata? I don't know what a piñata is.
579
00:29:37,652 --> 00:29:42,114
I forgot to compliment you on your
luscious, uh, melon breasts tonight.
580
00:29:42,281 --> 00:29:44,533
- How does that sound?
- Oh, come on!
581
00:29:44,700 --> 00:29:47,328
- What are you talking about now?
- Thank you, Gerry.
582
00:29:47,495 --> 00:29:49,455
You know, what you don't understand is...
583
00:29:49,622 --> 00:29:51,666
...a picture is worth a thousand words.
584
00:29:51,832 --> 00:29:55,419
I only went through 125 or 130 words
describing that.
585
00:29:55,586 --> 00:29:57,880
If I wanted to go on,
I could go 800 words more.
586
00:29:58,047 --> 00:30:01,550
- I'll take the picture because--
- Do you know where Winky is?
587
00:30:01,759 --> 00:30:04,470
Next time, I'll get a picture.
How about that?
588
00:30:04,887 --> 00:30:06,973
- Where's the dog?
MAX: Ha, ha.
589
00:30:07,139 --> 00:30:09,517
- The what?
- Winky. Where's Winky?
590
00:30:09,684 --> 00:30:11,686
- Who's Winky?
- He's probably with Zach.
591
00:30:11,852 --> 00:30:14,397
- Oh, the dog.
- Oh, my God!
592
00:30:15,064 --> 00:30:18,442
Winky? Winky? Aah!
593
00:30:18,609 --> 00:30:21,320
What? What's going on?
Zach, what are you doing?
594
00:30:21,529 --> 00:30:24,198
- Winky, it's okay, baby.
GERRY: Don't move, Zach.
595
00:30:24,407 --> 00:30:27,243
FAY: Zach, listen.
GERRY: He has a parachute on his neck!
596
00:30:27,451 --> 00:30:31,163
- Please, honey, this is what I do.
- Don't be mad at him, please.
597
00:30:31,414 --> 00:30:34,917
I'll gouge your eye out with my thumb.
I shit you not, you freak.
598
00:30:35,126 --> 00:30:39,171
Get down! I'm gonna punch you
in the eye till it turns to jelly.
599
00:30:39,839 --> 00:30:43,092
Don't look at him in the eyes,
it challenges him.
600
00:30:43,259 --> 00:30:45,469
MAX: I'll stab you with forks
until you bleed.
601
00:30:46,429 --> 00:30:47,430
HARLAN:
Hey.
602
00:30:47,638 --> 00:30:49,974
Hey, little buddy, what you been doing?
603
00:30:50,141 --> 00:30:52,059
[IN HIGH PITCHED VOICE]
Oh, nothing.
604
00:30:52,226 --> 00:30:55,604
[IN NORMAL VOICE]
Now, I understand that you went to the circus.
605
00:30:55,813 --> 00:30:59,900
[IN HIGH-PITCHED VOICE]
I did. I saw the Hat Lady. Hat Lady.
606
00:31:00,067 --> 00:31:02,445
[IN NORMAL VOICE]
Fat. Fat.
607
00:31:02,611 --> 00:31:05,614
[IN HIGH-PITCHED VOICE]
Hat Lady. Hat Lady.
608
00:31:06,365 --> 00:31:08,034
[HONKING]
609
00:31:08,242 --> 00:31:12,204
Fat. How do you say "F"?
That isn't in here.
610
00:31:12,788 --> 00:31:14,540
How about "the Chubby Lady."
That's easier.
611
00:31:14,749 --> 00:31:16,959
I saw the Chucky-- No, that's "chucky."
612
00:31:17,168 --> 00:31:19,295
Chucky Lady. Chub. Chubby.
613
00:31:19,545 --> 00:31:21,881
- Choky.
- Chuggy, chug--
614
00:31:22,089 --> 00:31:23,758
Hey. Hey.
615
00:31:25,426 --> 00:31:29,221
[IN HIGH-PITCHED VOICE]
What you doing, bloodhound doggy?
616
00:31:29,430 --> 00:31:31,932
[IN NORMAL VOICE] That's a easy one,
"bloodhound," isn't it?
617
00:31:32,141 --> 00:31:34,393
[IN HIGH-PITCHED VOICE]
Yeah. Yeah.
618
00:31:34,560 --> 00:31:36,979
You going to sleep?
619
00:31:41,108 --> 00:31:44,403
- The doorman's approximately cute.
- The Mediterranean type.
620
00:31:44,570 --> 00:31:46,655
- I'll say!
- You gotta trim their nose hair.
621
00:31:46,822 --> 00:31:49,533
- Hi. May I help you?
- Vanderhoof.
622
00:31:49,700 --> 00:31:53,579
- V-A-N--
- D-E-R-H-double-O-F.
623
00:31:53,746 --> 00:31:56,749
Nonsmoking, two nights.
We have you down for a queen.
624
00:31:57,208 --> 00:31:59,085
- What are you suggesting...
- Shh. Quiet.
625
00:31:59,293 --> 00:32:00,294
...my dear man?
626
00:32:02,296 --> 00:32:03,756
Do you want to use a card?
627
00:32:03,923 --> 00:32:05,633
- Oh, yes.
- Talk to Daddy.
628
00:32:06,217 --> 00:32:07,635
Seen enough dogs today?
629
00:32:08,052 --> 00:32:09,845
Dogs? Yes. Big show.
630
00:32:10,179 --> 00:32:14,058
- There's a lot in the hotel.
- A lot of them here in the lobby.
631
00:32:14,266 --> 00:32:19,730
Okay. Um, if I could get you to sign here?
632
00:32:19,939 --> 00:32:21,732
- How tall are you?
MARK: 6' 4."
633
00:32:21,941 --> 00:32:25,444
Oh, I thought so.
I feel like Alan Ladd at Easter Island.
634
00:32:25,653 --> 00:32:27,154
6' 4."
635
00:32:27,321 --> 00:32:30,032
Where you from? Like, Nor-land? Norway?
636
00:32:30,241 --> 00:32:33,994
- I'm Irish-German.
- Like Robert Duvall in The Godfather.
637
00:32:34,203 --> 00:32:36,914
Bratwurst and shillelaghs.
Paging Dr. Freud.
638
00:32:37,081 --> 00:32:38,499
[BOTH LAUGHING]
639
00:32:38,916 --> 00:32:42,294
{\an8}MAN [ON TV]: Now Robin will make it.
WOMAN [ON TV]: Okay.
640
00:32:42,503 --> 00:32:45,339
{\an8}- Bake at 400?
- Yeah. For a very short time.
641
00:32:48,342 --> 00:32:49,760
CHRISTY: Hi.
- Hi. How you doing?
642
00:32:49,969 --> 00:32:52,009
CHRISTY: Good.
- I'm Jana, the production assistant.
643
00:32:52,179 --> 00:32:54,348
- Hi.
- They're ready. I'll take you on over.
644
00:32:54,557 --> 00:32:56,308
It's showtime, baby.
645
00:32:56,851 --> 00:32:58,686
Come on, little poochie.
646
00:33:08,612 --> 00:33:11,490
ROBIN: You were wonderful.
CHEF: You were magic.
647
00:33:11,699 --> 00:33:14,160
ROBIN: Don't forget, Saturday
we have reservations.
648
00:33:14,368 --> 00:33:17,037
Look. They're having spring rolls. Hi.
649
00:33:17,204 --> 00:33:18,998
- Hi.
- Hey! Hi, I'm Robin.
650
00:33:19,206 --> 00:33:21,000
- I'm Christy.
- How are you?
651
00:33:21,208 --> 00:33:23,294
- I'm Chuck.
- My God! You're so short!
652
00:33:23,544 --> 00:33:24,879
Camera adds a few inches.
653
00:33:25,087 --> 00:33:28,299
I saw you in a store a year ago.
You looked beautiful.
654
00:33:28,507 --> 00:33:29,550
ROBIN:
Oh, thank you.
655
00:33:29,800 --> 00:33:33,429
- And this is...
CHRISTY: Butch! "Rhapsody in White."
656
00:33:33,637 --> 00:33:35,639
Butch? But isn't Butch a bitch?
657
00:33:35,848 --> 00:33:38,893
- Butch is a bitch.
MAN: Robin and Chuck, be ready in 10.
658
00:33:39,101 --> 00:33:42,479
- There's coffee if you're interested.
CHRISTY: Oh, thank you. Yes.
659
00:33:42,688 --> 00:33:44,356
MAN: Five seconds.
- Here we go.
660
00:33:44,565 --> 00:33:47,693
CHRISTY: I love Japanese food.
- I have to rearrange.
661
00:33:47,902 --> 00:33:49,153
Energy.
662
00:33:49,653 --> 00:33:50,696
And we're back!
663
00:33:50,905 --> 00:33:52,865
And it is a big night here tomorrow.
664
00:33:53,073 --> 00:33:56,035
The Mayflower's
Annual Kennel Club Dog Show.
665
00:33:56,243 --> 00:34:00,372
And with us, owner Sherri Ann Cabot
and handler Christy Cummings...
666
00:34:00,581 --> 00:34:03,751
...with their two-time champion,
Rhapsody in White. Welcome.
667
00:34:03,918 --> 00:34:05,502
- Welcome-- Thank you!
ROBIN: Yes.
668
00:34:05,711 --> 00:34:08,005
Well, I am particular about my hair.
669
00:34:08,214 --> 00:34:11,050
- But this...
- Well, this takes about two hours.
670
00:34:11,217 --> 00:34:12,301
[CHUCKLES]
671
00:34:12,468 --> 00:34:15,179
What's with the plumber-butt thing
happening on the hip?
672
00:34:15,554 --> 00:34:19,683
These pom-poms are keeping, um,
Butch's hips warm from the cold water.
673
00:34:19,934 --> 00:34:23,896
- The hip joints. It's very important.
ROBIN: The little drummerette things--
674
00:34:24,146 --> 00:34:26,732
- Right. We keep--
- Those act as flippers.
675
00:34:27,691 --> 00:34:28,734
Right.
676
00:34:29,360 --> 00:34:32,988
- Look at this, sweetie.
- Look, Winky! Look, at the lights.
677
00:34:35,991 --> 00:34:37,576
Welcome to the Taft. May I help you?
678
00:34:37,785 --> 00:34:40,955
Yes. You should have a reservation
for Fleck.
679
00:34:41,163 --> 00:34:42,581
Mayflower group.
680
00:34:43,916 --> 00:34:47,294
Great. Gerald and Cookie Fleck.
We got you for two nights.
681
00:34:47,461 --> 00:34:50,589
- Queen-size, nonsmoking.
- That is correct, sir.
682
00:34:50,798 --> 00:34:53,759
MARK: You want to put this on a credit card?
- Yes.
683
00:34:54,301 --> 00:34:56,387
Drove up from, uh, Florida.
684
00:34:56,595 --> 00:34:57,596
Well, welcome.
685
00:34:57,805 --> 00:35:00,349
- Thank you very much.
- How was the drive?
686
00:35:00,557 --> 00:35:04,061
Oh, just a super drive.
Put a few clicks on the old odometer...
687
00:35:04,270 --> 00:35:07,231
...let me put it that way.
Good weather for most of it.
688
00:35:07,439 --> 00:35:10,317
A little cloudy
coming up through West Virginia.
689
00:35:10,526 --> 00:35:13,320
Then it stayed overcast through Virginia.
690
00:35:13,529 --> 00:35:17,658
But once we get into Pennsylvania,
it's still overcast.
691
00:35:18,117 --> 00:35:19,827
Now, there's a little problem.
692
00:35:19,994 --> 00:35:23,455
Um, I'm not sure--
Do you have another credit card?
693
00:35:23,914 --> 00:35:25,874
No. That's the good one.
694
00:35:26,125 --> 00:35:27,876
- That should work.
- Give it a rub.
695
00:35:28,085 --> 00:35:30,629
Yeah, check the strip.
Sometimes the change or the keys...
696
00:35:30,796 --> 00:35:32,131
Hmm.
697
00:35:32,298 --> 00:35:36,302
No, you see, it's coming up bad each time.
698
00:35:36,510 --> 00:35:38,554
No, that's a mistake. That's the good card.
699
00:35:38,762 --> 00:35:40,973
MARK: Do you have another--?
- That's the good card.
700
00:35:41,223 --> 00:35:44,143
I think you should call them,
because that's a mistake.
701
00:35:44,393 --> 00:35:46,854
- Let me give them a ring.
COOKIE: Don't worry, Gerry.
702
00:35:47,021 --> 00:35:50,190
I had to pay the cable, the gas,
and the water. They're covered.
703
00:35:50,357 --> 00:35:53,319
- It's gotta be a mistake, honey.
- They're off our backs, but this...
704
00:35:53,485 --> 00:35:54,862
Yeah, no. It's okay.
705
00:35:55,112 --> 00:35:59,116
Do you want to talk to the cardholder?
Because he wants to talk to you.
706
00:35:59,325 --> 00:36:03,829
Yes, yes. Hello? Yes. Who am I speaking to?
707
00:36:04,038 --> 00:36:05,914
Doreen? This is Gerry Fleck--
708
00:36:06,123 --> 00:36:07,875
Tell them they sent one notice.
709
00:36:08,083 --> 00:36:11,503
We're having a problem
with our card here, and-- Yes.
710
00:36:11,712 --> 00:36:14,631
We have till two to pay it.
Tell her we have till two.
711
00:36:14,840 --> 00:36:17,051
Till two notices.
We don't have to pay on--
712
00:36:17,259 --> 00:36:18,802
Well, two notices.
713
00:36:19,011 --> 00:36:23,766
My wife does all the bill-paying.
She's not a forgetful person.
714
00:36:24,767 --> 00:36:25,809
Hang on.
715
00:36:26,477 --> 00:36:28,312
Two notices, honey. They've--
716
00:36:28,520 --> 00:36:31,523
- Could I offer another suggestion?
- That's bull!
717
00:36:31,732 --> 00:36:34,693
If you had cash
for two nights' deposit, then we'll--
718
00:36:34,902 --> 00:36:37,237
Yes. Yes.
719
00:36:37,654 --> 00:36:38,989
Uh, how much?
720
00:36:39,198 --> 00:36:41,325
Hundred and fifty dollars a night.
That's $300.
721
00:36:41,533 --> 00:36:45,245
And you'd be refunded a substantial
portion of that on checkout.
722
00:36:47,831 --> 00:36:50,042
We don't have $300.
723
00:36:50,250 --> 00:36:51,502
We...
724
00:36:51,710 --> 00:36:53,337
Well, I've got...
725
00:36:53,754 --> 00:36:55,506
...34.
726
00:36:56,465 --> 00:36:59,134
Uh, what about traveler's checks?
727
00:36:59,301 --> 00:37:01,470
Yes. We certainly take traveler's checks.
728
00:37:02,554 --> 00:37:05,307
- Did you get some?
- No.
729
00:37:08,310 --> 00:37:10,062
Let me see what I can do.
730
00:37:11,647 --> 00:37:13,857
CHRISTY:
The excitement's starting to build.
731
00:37:14,024 --> 00:37:18,695
And, um, Butch has a light in her eyes
that says it's showtime.
732
00:37:18,904 --> 00:37:21,573
This is the beginning of our ritual...
733
00:37:21,740 --> 00:37:24,701
...this party, our pre-show ritual
for the Mayflower.
734
00:37:24,910 --> 00:37:27,204
And we just did the official toast.
735
00:37:27,413 --> 00:37:31,041
And, um, the way it goes is that
when the ice sculpture--
736
00:37:31,250 --> 00:37:33,710
- -Which, as you can see, is Butch--
737
00:37:33,961 --> 00:37:37,464
- -When the ice sculpture melts
all the way down, the party's over.
738
00:37:37,673 --> 00:37:41,009
And it looks like tomorrow's
gonna be a beautiful day.
739
00:37:41,176 --> 00:37:42,177
Mm.
740
00:37:42,344 --> 00:37:45,389
This year, we're adding a new element
to the pre-show ritual.
741
00:37:45,597 --> 00:37:48,267
Sherri will do my makeup. I'm very excited--
742
00:37:48,517 --> 00:37:53,522
It's a way for me to relax, and it's also
a way for me to show, again, my art.
743
00:37:53,730 --> 00:37:56,316
And she's the epitome of glamour,
you know...
744
00:37:56,525 --> 00:37:59,027
...so I feel like I'm in good hands.
745
00:37:59,236 --> 00:38:01,363
I think she could use some glamour.
746
00:38:01,572 --> 00:38:04,616
Well, I don't know.
I'm not you, that's for sure.
747
00:38:04,783 --> 00:38:06,743
I apologize. This is all we have.
748
00:38:06,952 --> 00:38:09,079
We are so full up.
749
00:38:09,246 --> 00:38:13,208
Um, this is literally--
We don't want you out in the cold.
750
00:38:13,459 --> 00:38:16,795
So this will give you some sort of a place
to stay while you're here.
751
00:38:16,962 --> 00:38:20,007
Don't judge it by this.
We're gonna clean this stuff out...
752
00:38:20,215 --> 00:38:22,801
...and bring in a cot,
make it comfy for you.
753
00:38:23,010 --> 00:38:25,846
- Good. Oh, it's super. Really super.
- Yeah.
754
00:38:26,013 --> 00:38:28,098
- Is there a bathroom?
- Uh, yes. Two flights down.
755
00:38:28,307 --> 00:38:30,142
It's the lobby bathroom.
756
00:38:30,350 --> 00:38:33,353
It's stocked with paper towels,
toilet tissue and soap.
757
00:38:33,562 --> 00:38:35,397
You can freshen up in there.
758
00:38:36,356 --> 00:38:37,441
Thank you.
759
00:38:37,858 --> 00:38:41,320
- Um, room service?
- That's the good news.
760
00:38:41,487 --> 00:38:43,697
You're next to the kitchen. Literally.
761
00:38:43,906 --> 00:38:48,660
Grab somebody and get a menu.
And you'll be able to order from them.
762
00:38:48,869 --> 00:38:52,456
And say just "utility closet"?
763
00:38:52,664 --> 00:38:56,168
As a matter of fact, yeah.
I don't think we'll have a problem.
764
00:38:56,376 --> 00:38:58,712
I'll alert the staff to your presence too.
765
00:38:58,921 --> 00:39:00,923
And, um, I've gotta get back to the desk...
766
00:39:01,131 --> 00:39:03,884
...but anything you need,
just ask for Mark Schaefer.
767
00:39:04,092 --> 00:39:05,844
- Thanks so much.
- Thank you, Mark.
768
00:39:06,053 --> 00:39:07,554
- Thank you.
MARK: Bye-bye.
769
00:39:09,223 --> 00:39:11,850
I'm thinking about switching
to the mock turtleneck.
770
00:39:12,059 --> 00:39:14,853
- The charcoal one from Saks.
- Great. Okay.
771
00:39:15,103 --> 00:39:16,480
Is that not breathing or...?
772
00:39:16,688 --> 00:39:19,191
Well, it's breathing now, but at the party...
773
00:39:19,358 --> 00:39:21,527
...it's gonna be hot down there.
774
00:39:21,985 --> 00:39:25,697
Then again, it goes so well
with the trousers.
775
00:39:26,031 --> 00:39:28,534
Or I could go with the lamb's wool.
776
00:39:29,034 --> 00:39:31,995
But then again, you're gonna see
a lot of khaki down there.
777
00:39:32,204 --> 00:39:34,748
And this merlot looks good
with the gray.
778
00:39:35,040 --> 00:39:36,542
You know what?
779
00:39:37,084 --> 00:39:39,044
- Maybe we should stay.
- What?
780
00:39:39,253 --> 00:39:41,672
We should stay.
We shouldn't leave her up here alone.
781
00:39:41,880 --> 00:39:45,384
No, we have to go. We have to make
an appearance. You know that.
782
00:39:45,592 --> 00:39:48,720
- Are you upset, baby?
- Yes, of course she's upset.
783
00:39:48,929 --> 00:39:50,389
Don't be upset.
784
00:39:50,597 --> 00:39:53,725
Mommy and Daddy are only gonna--
Don't, not the lips.
785
00:39:53,934 --> 00:39:56,395
Mommy and Daddy are only gonna go
for a little bit.
786
00:39:56,645 --> 00:40:00,190
And we'll be back. Huh?
You got your busy bee.
787
00:40:00,399 --> 00:40:02,568
- You got busy bee.
- Oh, I want to stay.
788
00:40:02,776 --> 00:40:03,944
- You can't.
- I want to.
789
00:40:04,152 --> 00:40:05,279
- You can't.
- I want to.
790
00:40:05,487 --> 00:40:06,863
You can't stay.
791
00:40:11,493 --> 00:40:14,288
- More Gouda, honey?
- No, thanks, Gerry.
792
00:40:14,705 --> 00:40:16,707
- Super party, huh?
- Yeah, but--
793
00:40:16,915 --> 00:40:19,918
You know, I ran into that woman
that owned the terrier.
794
00:40:20,085 --> 00:40:21,670
- Yeah?
- From Florida.
795
00:40:21,837 --> 00:40:25,716
We were in that show.
The Elvis, not Costello.
796
00:40:25,966 --> 00:40:29,344
- Remember that little terrier?
- The bitch that pushed Winky?
797
00:40:29,553 --> 00:40:31,346
Pushed him way off his gait?
798
00:40:31,555 --> 00:40:33,640
Cookie Googleman?
799
00:40:33,849 --> 00:40:36,518
- Yeah.
- It is you. Malcolm.
800
00:40:37,019 --> 00:40:38,604
Malcolm?
801
00:40:39,688 --> 00:40:42,024
Gerry, my husband. This is Malcolm.
802
00:40:42,190 --> 00:40:45,027
- Malcolm, what's shaking?
- Not much, Gary. How are you?
803
00:40:45,193 --> 00:40:47,613
- Doesn't she look fantastic?
- Boy, I'll say.
804
00:40:47,863 --> 00:40:49,406
COOKIE: Thank you.
- Just fantastic.
805
00:40:49,615 --> 00:40:52,909
Been what? I don't know,
18, 19 years? Louisville.
806
00:40:53,827 --> 00:40:56,538
The Mint Julep.
You were working as a waitress.
807
00:40:56,747 --> 00:40:57,956
Wow.
808
00:40:58,832 --> 00:41:01,043
Malcolm. Malcolm, Malcolm, Malcolm.
809
00:41:02,127 --> 00:41:04,504
You know, I've banged a lot
of waitresses in my day.
810
00:41:04,713 --> 00:41:06,590
But you were the best. By far.
811
00:41:06,798 --> 00:41:09,384
- You don't forget the best.
- Nope.
812
00:41:09,635 --> 00:41:11,386
Oh, Gerry. Oh, Gerry.
813
00:41:11,595 --> 00:41:14,431
They gotta do something
about the air conditioning.
814
00:41:14,640 --> 00:41:15,724
Great to see you.
815
00:41:15,974 --> 00:41:17,309
Nice to see you, Malcolm.
816
00:41:17,517 --> 00:41:18,935
Keep them up. Keep them up.
817
00:41:19,186 --> 00:41:23,607
The beat goes on, okay?
The beat goes on. Gerry, my husband.
818
00:41:23,815 --> 00:41:25,525
Don't worry, I know where I am.
819
00:41:25,734 --> 00:41:27,653
- Just...
- But that was fun.
820
00:41:29,321 --> 00:41:32,199
THEODORE: Your house is beautiful.
The food is delicious.
821
00:41:32,407 --> 00:41:35,744
And to see Butch with her crown on.
It's so cute.
822
00:41:35,952 --> 00:41:38,288
CHRISTY: That's her game face.
Absolutely right.
823
00:41:38,497 --> 00:41:40,165
THEODORE: She winked at me.
- Did she?
824
00:41:40,374 --> 00:41:42,417
THEODORE: She winked at me.
- You little flirt.
825
00:41:43,168 --> 00:41:46,004
She's not gonna wear
the crown tomorrow, is she?
826
00:41:46,213 --> 00:41:50,634
- No, she'll walk around as if she were.
- It is. It's a fun party.
827
00:41:50,842 --> 00:41:53,970
- We only do that once a year.
- She must be very proud.
828
00:41:54,179 --> 00:41:55,389
- You bet.
- Oh, yeah.
829
00:41:55,597 --> 00:41:57,808
- It's her night.
- It is. She's the star.
830
00:41:58,016 --> 00:42:00,769
And hopefully, she's going to be
the star tomorrow.
831
00:42:00,977 --> 00:42:02,938
- We'll have to see.
- That's up to her.
832
00:42:03,146 --> 00:42:06,441
- I guess. And some other people.
- It's in her hands.
833
00:42:06,608 --> 00:42:09,569
Some think if you're on a small creek,
a small body of water...
834
00:42:09,778 --> 00:42:11,613
...that you have to use a small fly.
835
00:42:11,822 --> 00:42:14,491
But I've been in situations,
even on a big river...
836
00:42:14,700 --> 00:42:18,662
...where I'm using a size 18,
a size 20, a size 22.
837
00:42:18,870 --> 00:42:21,832
I go with a dropper
or with a Parachute Adams.
838
00:42:22,040 --> 00:42:25,460
A PT Nymph on the end,
and you could hook a big fish.
839
00:42:25,669 --> 00:42:27,504
Many think you have to go with...
840
00:42:27,713 --> 00:42:30,841
...a Woolly Bugger or Sculpin pattern
of some kind.
841
00:42:31,049 --> 00:42:36,012
Maybe Egg-Sucking Leech, which I've
never had any luck with myself.
842
00:42:36,179 --> 00:42:37,931
Is that L.L. Bean?
843
00:42:38,140 --> 00:42:39,558
- Is this L.L. Bean?
- This?
844
00:42:39,766 --> 00:42:40,767
Can I check?
845
00:42:40,976 --> 00:42:42,686
- I don't know.
- Oh, Hamilton.
846
00:42:42,894 --> 00:42:44,980
What? Just checking.
847
00:42:45,147 --> 00:42:48,358
Stefan, Stefan.
This is my "euphemism," Stefan.
848
00:42:48,567 --> 00:42:50,444
I want you to meet my new friends.
849
00:42:50,652 --> 00:42:53,363
- How are you, Gerry?
- Stefan.
850
00:42:53,572 --> 00:42:56,575
- Hello. You're Coo...?
- No, it's Cookie.
851
00:42:56,783 --> 00:42:58,660
It's Cookie!
852
00:42:58,869 --> 00:43:01,329
- I was noticing your pants.
- That's not all.
853
00:43:01,496 --> 00:43:02,497
And then I noticed this.
854
00:43:02,706 --> 00:43:03,749
- Very funny.
- To death.
855
00:43:03,957 --> 00:43:06,752
Did he tell you his name's Mary,
as well as advertising it?
856
00:43:06,960 --> 00:43:11,506
- He was introduced as Mary, but--
- You know what? My name's not Mary.
857
00:43:12,048 --> 00:43:14,092
- It's Debbie!
- It's not. It's Debra!
858
00:43:14,301 --> 00:43:15,302
No, it's Scott.
859
00:43:15,469 --> 00:43:19,139
Do you have an appreciation for the
amount of work that went into these?
860
00:43:19,347 --> 00:43:21,892
- I ought to. I did it myself.
GERRY: Wow. Gee.
861
00:43:22,142 --> 00:43:24,895
It bored him to death.
I talked about it nonstop.
862
00:43:25,103 --> 00:43:28,940
Well, that is six months
working with leather and red thread.
863
00:43:29,107 --> 00:43:32,569
- Oh. Heaven.
- How much fun was he to be with?
864
00:43:32,778 --> 00:43:35,018
SCOTT: I make all this stuff.
STEFAN: He's very talented.
865
00:43:35,197 --> 00:43:38,784
- You must be very proud, Mary.
STEFAN: "Proud Mary."
866
00:43:38,992 --> 00:43:41,411
Oh, my goodness!
Who are you all of a sudden?
867
00:43:41,620 --> 00:43:44,748
STEFAN: Good baby-boomer gag.
- Who are you in the burgundy jacket?
868
00:43:44,915 --> 00:43:46,115
SCOTT: Good heavens!
- Mr. Hip!
869
00:43:46,249 --> 00:43:47,834
[LAUGHING]
870
00:43:54,508 --> 00:43:56,927
[POUNDING]
871
00:44:04,726 --> 00:44:06,603
- Move your feet. Move.
- Gotcha.
872
00:44:06,812 --> 00:44:07,938
Stop it.
873
00:44:08,146 --> 00:44:10,565
- You're quick enough on the draw.
- I'll say.
874
00:44:10,774 --> 00:44:13,485
- Thank you, Mr. Handyman.
- Yes, sir.
875
00:44:13,693 --> 00:44:16,321
- Tanka up.
- Tanka.
876
00:44:19,533 --> 00:44:20,784
Hi, Terry?
877
00:44:20,992 --> 00:44:24,287
Hi. Yeah, we're here. Where were you?
878
00:44:24,454 --> 00:44:27,082
So, how's everything? Did he eat the pâte?
879
00:44:27,290 --> 00:44:29,376
Did you put the vitamins in?
880
00:44:29,543 --> 00:44:33,088
Okay. Did he go poop? Thank you.
881
00:44:33,255 --> 00:44:35,340
Too much information. Ha, ha.
882
00:44:35,507 --> 00:44:39,261
Put him on.
I just want to say good night. Okay.
883
00:44:39,845 --> 00:44:42,931
Hi, Tyrone. Hi, it's Daddy.
884
00:44:43,139 --> 00:44:44,516
Hi, Tyrone. How are you?
885
00:44:44,724 --> 00:44:46,685
Say hello? Say hello, Aggie?
886
00:44:49,521 --> 00:44:51,398
I can hear him breathing.
887
00:44:51,606 --> 00:44:54,484
We'll be home tomorrow.
I just wanted to say good night.
888
00:44:54,693 --> 00:44:57,654
I'm gonna sing a little bit
of your favorite song, okay?
889
00:44:58,196 --> 00:45:02,659
[SINGING] They buried Barbara
In the old churchyard
890
00:45:02,868 --> 00:45:06,329
They buried William beside her
891
00:45:06,788 --> 00:45:10,625
And from his grave
Grew a red, red rose
892
00:45:11,209 --> 00:45:14,713
And out of hers a briar
893
00:45:15,964 --> 00:45:19,926
Good night. Don't stay up all night
watching old movies. Ha, ha.
894
00:45:21,136 --> 00:45:26,224
MAN: Live! From the Beyman Center
in Philadelphia, Pennsylvania, U.S.A.
895
00:45:26,433 --> 00:45:31,563
It's the 125th Annual
Mayflower Kennel Club Dog Show.
896
00:45:31,771 --> 00:45:35,025
Brought to you by lams Eukanuba.
897
00:45:35,191 --> 00:45:39,738
And let me tell you, the City of Brotherly Love
is aglow tonight.
898
00:45:39,905 --> 00:45:44,200
Three thousand dogs competing
for Best in Show.
899
00:45:44,409 --> 00:45:48,955
Some big and some are small.
Some really small.
900
00:45:49,122 --> 00:45:51,333
Bushy coats and coats so silky...
901
00:45:51,499 --> 00:45:54,628
...they look like they were spun
by a giant spider.
902
00:45:54,794 --> 00:45:57,047
You name it, they're here.
903
00:45:57,213 --> 00:46:00,175
Good evening, ladies and gentlemen,
I'm Buck Laughlin.
904
00:46:00,342 --> 00:46:02,552
If you're a dog or a friend of a dog...
905
00:46:02,719 --> 00:46:05,430
...you want to circle this night
in your TV Guide...
906
00:46:05,597 --> 00:46:08,767
...because, Trevor Beckwith,
they come to the Mayflower...
907
00:46:08,975 --> 00:46:11,770
...with their crates, their kibble,
and their cookies.
908
00:46:11,937 --> 00:46:14,731
And, most important, with a will to win...
909
00:46:14,898 --> 00:46:17,734
...that only a fellow dog
can truly appreciate.
910
00:46:17,943 --> 00:46:19,611
Your thoughts on that matter?
911
00:46:19,819 --> 00:46:22,447
Yes, Buck, I can't speak for the animals,
of course...
912
00:46:22,656 --> 00:46:26,660
...but certainly, every human being
in this building is as excited as I am.
913
00:46:26,826 --> 00:46:30,956
- Really? You wrote a book, didn't you?
- I did. I did. Follow the Lead.
914
00:46:31,122 --> 00:46:34,876
A book about obedience.
Basic obedience training for dogs.
915
00:46:35,043 --> 00:46:37,671
As you know, I have a franchise
of schools around--
916
00:46:37,837 --> 00:46:40,548
I didn't know that.
So this is right down your alley.
917
00:46:40,715 --> 00:46:42,842
I went to one of those
obedience places once.
918
00:46:43,051 --> 00:46:47,514
It was going well till they spilled
hot candle wax on my private parts. Ha, ha.
919
00:46:47,681 --> 00:46:50,141
I'm just kidding.
I know what you're talking about.
920
00:46:53,645 --> 00:46:55,188
STEFAN:
Because she's a winner.
921
00:46:55,355 --> 00:46:58,024
Because she is Miss America.
922
00:46:58,233 --> 00:46:59,833
That's who you are. Little Miss America.
923
00:47:00,068 --> 00:47:01,486
Come on, I'm trying to groom her.
924
00:47:01,695 --> 00:47:04,030
She's fine. She's fine. You know what?
925
00:47:04,197 --> 00:47:07,075
She's feeling chuffed.
Feeling full of herself, aren't you?
926
00:47:07,242 --> 00:47:10,120
What I want her to do
is calm down a little bit.
927
00:47:10,286 --> 00:47:13,456
- Just don't do the front. Let me--
- Okay. Fine.
928
00:47:13,623 --> 00:47:15,959
What do you want
more than anything in the world?
929
00:47:16,167 --> 00:47:18,211
Do you want the big blue ribbon? Uh-huh.
930
00:47:18,420 --> 00:47:21,172
Do you want red? No.
Do you want yellow? No.
931
00:47:21,381 --> 00:47:22,549
You want the blue.
932
00:47:22,757 --> 00:47:24,509
What do you see in front of me?
933
00:47:24,718 --> 00:47:26,761
You see a blue ribbon in front of you.
934
00:47:26,970 --> 00:47:28,513
You want it? Grab it! Get it!
935
00:47:28,722 --> 00:47:30,932
She's not listening to you!
She's freaking out.
936
00:47:31,141 --> 00:47:33,393
Get the busy bee.
You want your busy bee?
937
00:47:33,601 --> 00:47:36,271
You get the busy bee.
I need to trim her whiskers.
938
00:47:36,521 --> 00:47:37,689
It's in the crate!
939
00:47:37,897 --> 00:47:38,940
It's in the crate!
940
00:47:39,357 --> 00:47:41,484
Why didn't you have it out to begin with?
941
00:47:42,610 --> 00:47:44,029
Where in the crate?
942
00:47:44,696 --> 00:47:47,449
- It's not in here. It's not.
- It should be in the crate!
943
00:47:47,657 --> 00:47:49,617
It's not in the crate! I just told you that!
944
00:47:49,826 --> 00:47:53,371
God, Hamilton, if she doesn't get her toy,
she's gonna flip out!
945
00:47:53,580 --> 00:47:55,457
See? It's not in here.
946
00:47:55,665 --> 00:47:58,168
You left it at the hotel.
You go get her busy bee!
947
00:47:58,418 --> 00:48:00,920
Go to the hotel and get busy bee!
948
00:48:01,129 --> 00:48:03,590
Run! Run! Go!
949
00:48:03,798 --> 00:48:08,053
Mommy's getting the toy. Don't worry.
No, we just had a little discussion.
950
00:48:08,261 --> 00:48:10,346
Look at me. Don't look at anybody else.
951
00:48:10,555 --> 00:48:14,225
Don't look at the fat-ass losers or freaks!
You look at me!
952
00:48:14,642 --> 00:48:17,729
- And what's the first category here?
- The hound group.
953
00:48:17,937 --> 00:48:19,898
You have your finger on everything.
954
00:48:20,106 --> 00:48:24,444
The hounds are coming out.
These are some unusual dogs.
955
00:48:26,613 --> 00:48:30,950
ANNOUNCER: The hounds can be divided
into two groups, sight and scent.
956
00:48:31,159 --> 00:48:35,163
TREVOR: This is the first of seven
groups that we'll see this evening...
957
00:48:35,371 --> 00:48:39,334
...as the dogs progress towards
the Best in Show title.
958
00:48:45,090 --> 00:48:48,718
- The judge is Eddie Franklin.
- That's Edie. Edie Franklin.
959
00:48:48,927 --> 00:48:51,930
- Edie?
- Yes. A retired teacher from New Jersey.
960
00:48:52,138 --> 00:48:53,807
BUCK:
You're right. That's a lady.
961
00:48:54,015 --> 00:48:58,019
She gives them a thorough going-over.
Are all judges that thorough?
962
00:48:58,228 --> 00:48:59,854
- Yes.
- She looks at the teeth...
963
00:49:00,063 --> 00:49:02,816
It's very important that
all attributes are examined.
964
00:49:03,066 --> 00:49:04,526
Teeth, eyes, ears, gums--
965
00:49:04,734 --> 00:49:07,612
Ouch! Do I see right?
Where's she putting her hand?
966
00:49:07,821 --> 00:49:11,574
Well, she's just checking out the
dog's testicular area to make sure...
967
00:49:11,783 --> 00:49:15,578
- Whoa.
- ...that everything is intact.
968
00:49:15,787 --> 00:49:19,249
Hate to go out on date with Judge
Edie Franklin, have her judge me.
969
00:49:19,457 --> 00:49:20,959
That would be no fun.
970
00:49:21,167 --> 00:49:24,212
Would you please take your dog down
and back for me, please?
971
00:49:24,504 --> 00:49:26,089
[CROWD APPLAUDING]
972
00:49:26,798 --> 00:49:29,008
BUCK:
Now she's having the dogs--
973
00:49:29,175 --> 00:49:32,137
Why do they have them run away
and then back up?
974
00:49:32,387 --> 00:49:33,805
What are they looking for?
975
00:49:34,013 --> 00:49:38,017
For the dog's gait and movement,
to see the small angles.
976
00:49:38,226 --> 00:49:41,479
So, Edie will be checking out
this thing in particular.
977
00:49:41,896 --> 00:49:43,481
Good way to judge a woman.
978
00:49:43,690 --> 00:49:45,775
Have her run away and then run back.
979
00:49:45,984 --> 00:49:48,444
You know, those birds on Carnaby Street.
980
00:49:48,653 --> 00:49:52,740
I'm used to seeing them run away from me
more often than run towards me.
981
00:49:52,907 --> 00:49:56,286
Uh, now what is that?
That's a bloodhound, isn't it?
982
00:49:56,452 --> 00:49:58,329
TREVOR:
Oh, this is a tremendous dog.
983
00:49:58,538 --> 00:50:02,792
I would say in two to three years,
this could be a champion dog.
984
00:50:03,001 --> 00:50:05,712
I think it may be a tad immature for this year.
985
00:50:05,920 --> 00:50:07,839
Just trying to get a little playing time.
986
00:50:08,047 --> 00:50:10,884
And take your dog down and back
for me, please?
987
00:50:13,011 --> 00:50:17,390
BUCK: You know what would be funny?
Just an idea off the top of my head.
988
00:50:17,557 --> 00:50:20,685
Why didn't he put
a Sherlock Holmes hat on it...
989
00:50:20,894 --> 00:50:22,645
...and put a pipe in his mouth?
990
00:50:22,812 --> 00:50:25,481
Are they allowed to dress up
a dog in a funny way?
991
00:50:25,690 --> 00:50:28,318
No, that's not the purpose of these shows.
992
00:50:28,568 --> 00:50:31,738
But it would really get
the crowd going, you know?
993
00:50:31,946 --> 00:50:33,740
- The hat with a pipe?
- Absolutely.
994
00:50:33,948 --> 00:50:36,576
You could make it look like
the smoke's coming out of the pipe.
995
00:50:36,784 --> 00:50:40,788
- I think that would be a little dangerous.
- Ha, ha. I'd get a kick out of it.
996
00:50:42,123 --> 00:50:47,212
Now, that looks like a fast dog.
Is that faster than a greyhound?
997
00:50:47,420 --> 00:50:49,672
- Well--
- In a race, who would come in first?
998
00:50:49,881 --> 00:50:51,674
If you had a little jockey on him, going--
999
00:50:51,841 --> 00:50:55,428
Uh, let me ask,
if you put them on a football team...
1000
00:50:55,678 --> 00:50:58,598
...which would be the wide receiver,
which would be your tight end?
1001
00:50:58,765 --> 00:51:01,226
Who can go the farthest, the fastest?
1002
00:51:01,434 --> 00:51:03,074
I don't know any dogs that play football.
1003
00:51:03,228 --> 00:51:05,939
Ha, ha. I'm having some fun with you.
1004
00:51:07,482 --> 00:51:11,277
This is tension time. Who will she pick?
She's looking them over close.
1005
00:51:11,486 --> 00:51:14,280
TREVOR: Yes, she's been very careful
with this group.
1006
00:51:14,447 --> 00:51:17,492
Is there anything they can do now
to sway the judge?
1007
00:51:17,659 --> 00:51:20,203
Nothing at all.
Just hope and pray at this point.
1008
00:51:22,872 --> 00:51:26,542
- Bring the bloodhound out, please.
BUCK: Oh, ho. That's a surprise.
1009
00:51:26,709 --> 00:51:28,044
[AUDIENCE APPLAUDING]
1010
00:51:28,211 --> 00:51:31,214
Bring the beagle out, please.
Please sit down.
1011
00:51:31,589 --> 00:51:33,007
The borzoi, please.
1012
00:51:40,890 --> 00:51:42,809
And the petit, please.
1013
00:51:43,810 --> 00:51:44,936
All right.
1014
00:51:45,144 --> 00:51:48,189
Our little Sherlock Holmes dog
is out there, huh?
1015
00:51:48,398 --> 00:51:50,358
Even without the hat and the pipe.
1016
00:51:50,608 --> 00:51:52,485
So it's down to four now.
1017
00:51:52,694 --> 00:51:55,446
TREVOR: She's taking a final look
at the four she's picked:
1018
00:51:55,655 --> 00:52:00,118
The bloodhound, the beagle,
the borzoi, and the PBGV.
1019
00:52:00,368 --> 00:52:03,705
That's the way I want them! One. Two.
1020
00:52:05,081 --> 00:52:06,833
Three. And four.
1021
00:52:07,041 --> 00:52:09,127
And that's it. That's the order.
1022
00:52:09,335 --> 00:52:11,087
Frankly, I'm very surprised.
1023
00:52:11,296 --> 00:52:14,966
- An upset. The rookie came through.
TREVOR: It's definitely an upset.
1024
00:52:15,174 --> 00:52:17,343
That's a tremendous achievement.
1025
00:52:26,602 --> 00:52:28,479
Have you tried looking under the bed?
1026
00:52:28,688 --> 00:52:30,815
Of course I've looked under the bed.
1027
00:52:31,024 --> 00:52:33,443
That's where you look
when you lose things.
1028
00:52:36,863 --> 00:52:38,239
You! What's she here for?
1029
00:52:38,448 --> 00:52:41,909
I called you 30 minutes ago!
You call yourself a maid?
1030
00:52:42,076 --> 00:52:43,494
Where are you from?
1031
00:52:43,703 --> 00:52:46,247
- I know people at INS!
- I'm an American citizen.
1032
00:52:46,456 --> 00:52:49,167
- They'll come in a van and take you...
- I'll handle it.
1033
00:52:49,417 --> 00:52:50,960
...back to where you came from!
1034
00:52:51,169 --> 00:52:53,671
Who do you think you are?
I've spent 20 minutes--
1035
00:52:53,880 --> 00:52:57,300
MEG: Go get your papers!
- You're too agitated over a dog's toy.
1036
00:52:57,508 --> 00:52:58,593
- A dog's toy?
- Yes.
1037
00:52:58,843 --> 00:53:02,430
You don't know my dog.
You obviously don't know my dog.
1038
00:53:02,638 --> 00:53:06,392
- There's a pet store right downstairs.
- A pet store down the stairs?
1039
00:53:06,601 --> 00:53:08,478
- Yes.
- Are you a wizard? A genius?
1040
00:53:08,686 --> 00:53:10,355
Why didn't you tell me before?
1041
00:53:10,563 --> 00:53:15,568
Thanks for your help,
you stupid hotel manager!
1042
00:53:18,112 --> 00:53:20,198
Yeah, see the coat?
1043
00:53:20,406 --> 00:53:23,117
CHRISTY:
I gotta tell you, I've never felt...
1044
00:53:23,284 --> 00:53:25,870
...uh, more confident than I feel right now.
1045
00:53:26,079 --> 00:53:28,998
I feel like I could say to the
president of the Kennel Club:
1046
00:53:29,207 --> 00:53:33,544
"Why don't we skip to the chase here,
and just give me the cup.
1047
00:53:33,753 --> 00:53:35,963
I'll be on my way. You can take my photo."
1048
00:53:36,214 --> 00:53:38,841
I honestly feel that way.
But, you never know...
1049
00:53:39,050 --> 00:53:43,596
...because there's so many variables
that I just can't control.
1050
00:53:43,888 --> 00:53:46,391
But, everything's going as planned.
1051
00:53:47,308 --> 00:53:49,102
Except for the makeup.
1052
00:53:49,811 --> 00:53:52,397
Well, Sherri Ann did put
some makeup on me...
1053
00:53:52,605 --> 00:53:56,025
...but, um, it's really not my style,
so I took it off.
1054
00:53:56,234 --> 00:53:58,111
- It looked good.
- It was a little much.
1055
00:53:58,319 --> 00:54:01,155
No, it looked really good. I did a wonderful...
1056
00:54:01,406 --> 00:54:05,410
...Sophia Loren Persian eye.
1057
00:54:05,618 --> 00:54:09,205
And it looked very dramatic,
and looked very showlike.
1058
00:54:09,414 --> 00:54:13,960
It was a little over the top.
I looked freakish, so I took it off.
1059
00:54:14,168 --> 00:54:17,797
- No, you didn't.
- You have to just let this go, okay?
1060
00:54:18,047 --> 00:54:21,843
But, I do like what she did with my hair.
1061
00:54:24,178 --> 00:54:26,264
BUCK:
Well, now it's time for the toys.
1062
00:54:26,472 --> 00:54:29,684
They're well-named.
They look like they could be wound up.
1063
00:54:29,892 --> 00:54:33,396
Yes. This is a fun group. And the crowd
always responds to the toys.
1064
00:54:33,646 --> 00:54:37,066
It's wonderful, the character
you see in these dogs.
1065
00:54:37,275 --> 00:54:40,319
That's what a lot of people
are looking for in a toy dog.
1066
00:54:40,528 --> 00:54:44,907
BUCK: They're crowd pleasers.
Frederick Basil-Abbott III, the judge.
1067
00:54:45,116 --> 00:54:46,951
- He's got his hands full.
TREVOR: Yes.
1068
00:54:49,245 --> 00:54:53,291
- Hey, hey, baby. Aw, a bloodhound?
- Oh, yeah.
1069
00:54:53,499 --> 00:54:54,500
- Beautiful.
- Yep.
1070
00:54:54,709 --> 00:54:57,462
- Beautiful. How old is he?
- Yeah. He's 2.
1071
00:54:57,670 --> 00:55:00,256
- Slobbers a lot.
- He's a 2-year-old. Oh, yes.
1072
00:55:00,465 --> 00:55:04,552
- He's a 2-year. He's a slobberpuss.
- He is a slobberer. He's gorgeous.
1073
00:55:04,760 --> 00:55:07,013
- Yes, he is.
- Yeah.
1074
00:55:07,638 --> 00:55:10,850
I, um-- I handle Rhapsody in White.
1075
00:55:12,727 --> 00:55:17,023
- The poodle, right? The standard?
- Yeah. Two-time Best in Show.
1076
00:55:17,231 --> 00:55:19,650
- Last two years here at the Mayflower.
HARLAN: That's--
1077
00:55:19,859 --> 00:55:21,819
- I'm sure you know that.
HARLAN: Yes.
1078
00:55:22,403 --> 00:55:24,280
- Yeah, so--
- I'm Harlan Pepper.
1079
00:55:24,489 --> 00:55:26,991
Christy Cummings.
But you probably know that.
1080
00:55:27,200 --> 00:55:28,618
Well, I do and I don't.
1081
00:55:28,784 --> 00:55:30,286
[BOTH LAUGHING]
1082
00:55:31,370 --> 00:55:32,705
- You take care.
- I will.
1083
00:55:32,914 --> 00:55:34,832
Take care, Hubert. We'll see you.
1084
00:55:42,131 --> 00:55:44,175
ANNOUNCER:
The toy group has long been a favorite.
1085
00:55:44,342 --> 00:55:46,344
Going back hundreds of years, when--
1086
00:55:46,594 --> 00:55:49,430
TREVOR: I'd be hard-pressed
to pick my favorite.
1087
00:55:49,597 --> 00:55:51,474
The shih tzu is a terrific dog.
1088
00:55:51,682 --> 00:55:53,309
- What's that one?
- The shih tzu.
1089
00:55:53,518 --> 00:55:55,645
- The shih tzu!
- That's a name you don't...
1090
00:55:55,853 --> 00:55:59,315
...play around with.
It doesn't come trippingly off the tongue.
1091
00:55:59,524 --> 00:56:03,945
"Stewardess, can I take a shih tzu on
my carry-on, or does it have to be stowed?"
1092
00:56:04,153 --> 00:56:07,281
- "Is that a shih tzu in your...?"
- An old joke, but a good one.
1093
00:56:07,532 --> 00:56:09,367
It's a crowd pleaser.
1094
00:56:16,290 --> 00:56:19,210
Ma'am, can I have
the Italian greyhound over here?
1095
00:56:22,421 --> 00:56:25,550
- He's known as a deliberate judge.
- Is that right?
1096
00:56:25,758 --> 00:56:27,885
Yes. An interesting side note,
as a matter of fact:
1097
00:56:28,094 --> 00:56:32,640
He trained to be a priest at one time,
was in a seminary.
1098
00:56:32,807 --> 00:56:35,309
Never went through with it all,
but it's unusual.
1099
00:56:35,560 --> 00:56:38,980
It'd be interesting to find out what went wrong.
But that's a whole other show.
1100
00:56:39,397 --> 00:56:42,024
Sir, can I have the Pom over here, please?
1101
00:56:47,154 --> 00:56:49,740
Ma'am, the toy poodle behind, please.
1102
00:56:55,079 --> 00:56:57,498
Sir, could I have the shih tzu here, please?
1103
00:56:59,375 --> 00:57:01,586
BUCK:
They are a playful bunch, aren't they?
1104
00:57:01,752 --> 00:57:03,004
FREDERICK:
Take them all around.
1105
00:57:05,923 --> 00:57:07,633
- Thank you, sir. One.
- Yes!
1106
00:57:07,883 --> 00:57:10,720
FREDERICK:
Two. Three. Four.
1107
00:57:10,886 --> 00:57:12,286
[CROWD CHEERING
AND STEFAN LAUGHING]
1108
00:57:17,059 --> 00:57:19,103
Thank you. Oh, I'm sorry.
1109
00:57:19,353 --> 00:57:21,731
- Oh, congratulations.
- Thank you.
1110
00:57:22,940 --> 00:57:24,400
My little princess.
1111
00:57:24,650 --> 00:57:25,943
- My hero.
- Oh, thanks.
1112
00:57:26,152 --> 00:57:28,029
- God, thank you.
- Good job.
1113
00:57:28,404 --> 00:57:30,114
- Thanks.
- The Pom was no problem?
1114
00:57:30,323 --> 00:57:33,576
Pom broke his gait.
He might as well have taken a dump.
1115
00:57:33,784 --> 00:57:36,120
I was amazed the Yorkie
finished out of the money.
1116
00:57:36,329 --> 00:57:38,831
- Who knew? Who knew?
- Look at this. It's all you.
1117
00:57:39,040 --> 00:57:41,667
First in group. Best in Show coming up.
1118
00:57:41,876 --> 00:57:44,378
She's like, "Group, shmoop.
Bring on the formal wear."
1119
00:57:44,587 --> 00:57:46,922
Which reminds me, gotta go to the hotel.
1120
00:57:47,131 --> 00:57:48,799
- I have to change.
- Want some soup?
1121
00:57:48,966 --> 00:57:50,134
- Bath balm.
STEFAN: Bath balm.
1122
00:57:50,343 --> 00:57:51,344
Immediately.
1123
00:57:54,639 --> 00:57:58,809
- Hello.
- Hi. Um, I'm looking for a toy.
1124
00:57:59,018 --> 00:58:02,355
- It's a bumble bee. It's like a--
- For what kind of animal?
1125
00:58:02,563 --> 00:58:05,149
For a dog. It's a bee.
It's a bumble bee.
1126
00:58:05,358 --> 00:58:07,860
And it's furry. It's about this big.
1127
00:58:08,027 --> 00:58:09,779
- Okay.
- Right.
1128
00:58:09,987 --> 00:58:12,365
It's a bumble bee.
1129
00:58:12,573 --> 00:58:14,033
Stripes on it.
1130
00:58:14,241 --> 00:58:18,287
- Here it is. Is this it?
- No, that's a bear in a bee costume.
1131
00:58:18,496 --> 00:58:20,581
Okay. Okay. I'm just trying to help.
1132
00:58:20,790 --> 00:58:24,251
It's about this big.
And it squeaks in the middle.
1133
00:58:24,460 --> 00:58:27,922
Oh. Okay. This one squeaks. You know?
1134
00:58:28,089 --> 00:58:30,049
And I think it's striped.
1135
00:58:30,299 --> 00:58:32,760
I think the dog will respond to the stripes.
1136
00:58:32,968 --> 00:58:36,389
And it's reminiscent of a bumble bee,
I think.
1137
00:58:36,597 --> 00:58:38,474
- This is like a bee.
- That's a parrot.
1138
00:58:38,683 --> 00:58:40,893
I think that's what the dog's responding to.
1139
00:58:41,102 --> 00:58:44,146
But you can look in the box here.
We have more.
1140
00:58:44,355 --> 00:58:47,066
Like this one.
The yellow and black one there?
1141
00:58:47,274 --> 00:58:49,026
- This?
- That's like a bee.
1142
00:58:49,235 --> 00:58:52,279
- This is a fish.
- Well, we know that's a fish...
1143
00:58:52,488 --> 00:58:54,198
- ...but to a dog--
- Just shut up.
1144
00:58:54,407 --> 00:58:56,867
- I'm gonna get this.
- I'm just trying to help.
1145
00:58:57,076 --> 00:58:58,202
Thank you for your help.
1146
00:58:58,411 --> 00:59:00,955
This is least like a bee
of the ones we have here.
1147
00:59:01,163 --> 00:59:05,418
I didn't ask for your opinion.
I asked for a toy that you don't have!
1148
00:59:06,627 --> 00:59:08,462
COOKIE: Oh, baby, you're so good.
GERRY: Yes.
1149
00:59:08,629 --> 00:59:10,909
COOKIE: Look at you.
GERRY: Who could look at this face--?
1150
00:59:11,048 --> 00:59:14,969
Who could look at this face and say,
"Oh, I want him."
1151
00:59:15,136 --> 00:59:17,346
You. Hey, Wink. Hey, Wink.
1152
00:59:17,513 --> 00:59:20,015
- Hey, Wink. Look at this.
- Did you see the scary dog?
1153
00:59:20,224 --> 00:59:23,811
You. Hey, Winky, look at this.
1154
00:59:24,019 --> 00:59:26,522
You! Yes.
1155
00:59:26,731 --> 00:59:29,358
That's it. He's just a natural.
And look at his face.
1156
00:59:29,567 --> 00:59:32,403
Could he be sweeter or more loving?
1157
00:59:32,987 --> 00:59:36,365
The group is all about attitude.
And look at this.
1158
00:59:36,532 --> 00:59:39,243
What, could you find
a more likable attitude?
1159
00:59:39,452 --> 00:59:42,413
A happier, happier-to-know-you
kind of attitude?
1160
00:59:42,580 --> 00:59:44,957
Oh, I'm talking about you.
1161
00:59:46,083 --> 00:59:48,169
BUCK:
And here come the terriers.
1162
00:59:48,377 --> 00:59:50,129
TREVOR:
This is a very popular group.
1163
00:59:50,337 --> 00:59:55,259
There's a lot of winners that have
come out of this group in past shows.
1164
00:59:55,468 --> 00:59:58,554
- It's also popular with the crowd.
BUCK: They're lovable dogs.
1165
00:59:58,763 --> 01:00:02,850
TREVOR: Wonderful personality.
BUCK: Very frisky, very playful.
1166
01:00:03,017 --> 01:00:05,770
It's sad, when you look at
how beautiful they are...
1167
01:00:05,978 --> 01:00:09,315
...to think that in some countries,
these dogs are eaten.
1168
01:00:10,858 --> 01:00:12,318
And once around, please.
1169
01:00:12,568 --> 01:00:14,737
BUCK: That's my favorite,
the miniature schnauzer.
1170
01:00:14,945 --> 01:00:16,655
How do they make them miniature?
1171
01:00:16,822 --> 01:00:20,159
Is there some way,
some process they physically...
1172
01:00:20,326 --> 01:00:22,953
...miniaturize the dog? Or is it a puppy?
1173
01:00:23,162 --> 01:00:24,497
What the devil is going on?
1174
01:00:24,705 --> 01:00:26,499
They just... It's breeding.
1175
01:00:26,707 --> 01:00:28,334
They breed them small.
1176
01:00:28,542 --> 01:00:32,713
You'd think they'd want them bigger,
like grapefruits or watermelons.
1177
01:00:33,631 --> 01:00:35,800
Now, let me ask,
what's that up on the table?
1178
01:00:36,008 --> 01:00:37,593
TREVOR: That's the Norwich.
BUCK: Aha.
1179
01:00:38,302 --> 01:00:41,138
She's taking a close look at the Norwich.
1180
01:00:41,639 --> 01:00:43,057
That handler looks familiar to me.
1181
01:00:43,265 --> 01:00:46,101
Madam, could you bring the dog
further down in back, please?
1182
01:00:47,061 --> 01:00:48,771
[CROWD APPLAUDING]
1183
01:00:49,647 --> 01:00:51,232
That's my dog.
1184
01:00:53,734 --> 01:00:56,362
BUCK: Did I mention my idea
for a book for you?
1185
01:00:56,570 --> 01:01:00,032
Women bathing their dogs.
In cutoff jeans and T-shirts...
1186
01:01:00,199 --> 01:01:01,534
...and with the soap.
1187
01:01:01,742 --> 01:01:05,663
How it gets all wet, then the water,
let your imagination run wild.
1188
01:01:05,871 --> 01:01:08,499
Get the Mayflower Kennel Club
behind it, make a few bucks.
1189
01:01:08,749 --> 01:01:10,751
That's what it's all about.
Put your name on it.
1190
01:01:10,918 --> 01:01:14,547
TREVOR: Well, I'm not sure...
- Bathing Your Dog With Trevor Beckwith.
1191
01:01:14,755 --> 01:01:18,342
Doing It Doggy Style. You come up with that,
I'm not the literary guy.
1192
01:01:21,804 --> 01:01:25,474
BUCK: All right. Judge Ruth Collier
is looking very closely.
1193
01:01:27,560 --> 01:01:28,602
One.
1194
01:01:29,061 --> 01:01:30,521
Two.
1195
01:01:31,105 --> 01:01:33,148
- Three. Four.
- Yes!
1196
01:01:35,776 --> 01:01:37,570
Thank you. Oh.
1197
01:01:39,530 --> 01:01:41,073
Here.
1198
01:01:41,866 --> 01:01:43,200
What the hell is this?
1199
01:01:43,409 --> 01:01:45,536
- It's a toy.
- It's a rooster or something.
1200
01:01:45,744 --> 01:01:47,621
Get out the bee. Where's the bee?
1201
01:01:47,830 --> 01:01:50,833
I couldn't find it. I went to the hotel, I asked.
1202
01:01:51,041 --> 01:01:54,503
You were gone for a half-hour and
you came back with this purple thing?
1203
01:01:54,753 --> 01:01:55,963
Don't spit at me!
1204
01:01:56,171 --> 01:01:58,090
Don't you yell at me! Ouch!
1205
01:01:58,382 --> 01:01:59,717
You take care of it!
1206
01:01:59,967 --> 01:02:02,761
- I will take care of it!
- Stop it! Just...
1207
01:02:03,554 --> 01:02:07,141
We're here with Dr. Millbank,
President of the Mayflower Kennel Club.
1208
01:02:07,892 --> 01:02:11,186
Doctor, let me ask you something.
I got a little bursitis in my shoulder.
1209
01:02:11,437 --> 01:02:13,147
Do you recommend heat or cold?
1210
01:02:13,397 --> 01:02:15,691
- I'm not that kind of doctor.
- I know that.
1211
01:02:15,900 --> 01:02:18,319
I'm just kidding.
He's not that kind of doctor...
1212
01:02:18,485 --> 01:02:21,614
...but he's got such a good sense of humor,
we like to have a few laughs.
1213
01:02:21,822 --> 01:02:24,325
Question that's always bothered me
and a lot of people:
1214
01:02:24,533 --> 01:02:28,746
Mayflower, combined with Philadelphia,
no-brainer, right?
1215
01:02:28,954 --> 01:02:30,873
Because this is where the Mayflower landed.
1216
01:02:31,123 --> 01:02:34,793
Not so, it turns out Columbus actually
set foot somewhere in the West Indies.
1217
01:02:35,002 --> 01:02:36,045
Little-known fact.
1218
01:02:36,253 --> 01:02:38,756
How does the name Mayflower get up
to the Quaker City?
1219
01:02:39,048 --> 01:02:42,927
Well, it wasn't actually Columbus on
the Mayflower, as you probably remember.
1220
01:02:43,135 --> 01:02:45,015
And he did land in Plymouth Rock,
Massachusetts.
1221
01:02:45,179 --> 01:02:47,765
BUCK: They landed in several places,
because there's the Niña...
1222
01:02:47,973 --> 01:02:50,253
- ...the Pinta, a couple of them...
- And the Santa María.
1223
01:02:50,351 --> 01:02:52,728
- They all landed in different places.
- Not really.
1224
01:02:52,937 --> 01:02:54,396
Well, I'm not the historian.
1225
01:02:54,605 --> 01:02:56,649
Let the production people
deal with that one.
1226
01:02:56,857 --> 01:02:58,025
Right. It doesn't matter.
1227
01:02:59,276 --> 01:03:02,988
ANNOUNCER: The sporting group
can be divided into four categories.
1228
01:03:04,031 --> 01:03:07,242
BUCK: So these are the sporting dogs.
These are the athletes.
1229
01:03:07,451 --> 01:03:10,162
These are the jocks of the dog world,
wouldn't you say?
1230
01:03:10,371 --> 01:03:12,539
These are the dogs that you'll often see...
1231
01:03:12,748 --> 01:03:15,918
...hanging on the wall in museums
and classic paintings.
1232
01:03:16,418 --> 01:03:18,253
This group is actually known as...
1233
01:03:18,462 --> 01:03:21,590
...the hunting group in the United Kingdom.
1234
01:03:21,966 --> 01:03:25,344
BUCK:
And the judge is Judge Freda Dunlop.
1235
01:03:25,803 --> 01:03:28,681
She is also very, very slow...
1236
01:03:28,889 --> 01:03:31,266
...and determined.
TREVOR: Very deliberate.
1237
01:03:31,809 --> 01:03:34,436
Now, we're seeing the Weimaraner,
a wonderful dog.
1238
01:03:34,895 --> 01:03:36,271
BUCK:
That's a beauty.
1239
01:03:36,480 --> 01:03:38,691
TREVOR:
That's "The Grey Ghost."
1240
01:03:40,484 --> 01:03:41,986
Oh, I'm sorry. Get down.
1241
01:03:42,194 --> 01:03:43,821
FREDA:
Please control your dog.
1242
01:03:44,029 --> 01:03:45,489
That's not a good start.
1243
01:03:45,698 --> 01:03:47,157
Right around here. Let's try again.
1244
01:03:47,408 --> 01:03:49,368
This has never happened before, ever.
1245
01:03:49,702 --> 01:03:52,705
I'm sorry. We're dismissing you.
We're gonna dismiss this gentleman.
1246
01:03:52,913 --> 01:03:54,832
Just give us another chance.
1247
01:03:55,040 --> 01:03:57,835
- I'm sorry. We're dismissing you.
HAMILTON: No, let me just try again.
1248
01:03:58,043 --> 01:03:59,044
This does not look good.
1249
01:03:59,253 --> 01:04:01,463
He went after her like
she's made out of ham.
1250
01:04:01,672 --> 01:04:05,217
- And I guess he's getting the old heave-ho.
TREVOR: That's it. Yes, yes.
1251
01:04:05,592 --> 01:04:08,095
- The dog has been excused.
BUCK: She is gone.
1252
01:04:08,303 --> 01:04:10,139
HAMILTON: Just get away,
you goddamn asshole!
1253
01:04:10,347 --> 01:04:12,747
BUCK: It's a shame to see that happen.
TREVOR: Beautiful dog.
1254
01:04:12,891 --> 01:04:14,811
BUCK: But he's still a champion.
TREVOR: Oh, yes.
1255
01:04:14,977 --> 01:04:17,580
BUCK: Even though he leaves in disgrace.
Like "Shoeless Joe" Jackson.
1256
01:04:17,604 --> 01:04:20,733
He's out of the leagues,
but we still talk about him today.
1257
01:04:21,734 --> 01:04:24,069
Hi. I'd like...
1258
01:04:24,945 --> 01:04:29,241
...an extra-large bucket of popcorn,
half-butter, half-salt.
1259
01:04:29,408 --> 01:04:32,870
SHERRI ANN:
I wouldn't normally just be out here...
1260
01:04:33,370 --> 01:04:35,122
...uh, pigging out.
1261
01:04:35,372 --> 01:04:37,041
But, um...
1262
01:04:37,791 --> 01:04:42,087
{\an8}... I'm a little nervous right now.
There's a lot at stake.
1263
01:04:42,504 --> 01:04:45,674
{\an8}You know, we've had two wins.
This would be our third...
1264
01:04:45,883 --> 01:04:48,844
{\an8}...and, um, I'm making Leslie nervous.
1265
01:04:49,053 --> 01:04:51,180
{\an8}I'm making myself very nervous.
1266
01:04:51,388 --> 01:04:55,267
{\an8}And my nervousness is, uh...
1267
01:04:55,559 --> 01:04:59,104
{\an8}...is rubbing off on Leslie. And, um...
1268
01:05:01,690 --> 01:05:03,776
I feel like I...
1269
01:05:04,276 --> 01:05:07,237
...I just really need to listen
to my inner instinct...
1270
01:05:07,446 --> 01:05:10,866
...and, um, my inner instinct says:
1271
01:05:11,241 --> 01:05:13,285
"Don't go right now."
1272
01:05:14,828 --> 01:05:16,497
So, I'm not going out.
1273
01:05:16,705 --> 01:05:20,209
I'm gonna be right here
until I get another message...
1274
01:05:20,417 --> 01:05:21,960
...from myself.
1275
01:05:28,842 --> 01:05:29,882
What are you doing, honey?
1276
01:05:30,052 --> 01:05:32,763
They're just finishing up
the Non-Sporting in a second.
1277
01:05:32,971 --> 01:05:35,224
I'm looking for the hand cream.
Did you bring any?
1278
01:05:35,432 --> 01:05:38,393
I've got a lot of hand cream.
But I don't have the...
1279
01:05:38,602 --> 01:05:41,021
God, look at that Keeshond.
1280
01:05:41,605 --> 01:05:42,815
Is that hideous?
1281
01:05:43,023 --> 01:05:45,025
What's that doing at the Mayflower?
1282
01:05:46,151 --> 01:05:49,822
Oh, my goodness.
Um, you might want to see this.
1283
01:05:50,697 --> 01:05:52,908
- It's Miss Cummings.
- Uh-oh.
1284
01:05:53,617 --> 01:05:55,744
Is it ever Miss Cummings.
1285
01:05:55,953 --> 01:05:57,037
Oh, my God.
1286
01:05:57,246 --> 01:05:58,997
Bob Mackie,
where are you when we need you?
1287
01:05:59,206 --> 01:06:02,084
SCOTT: She looks like a cocktail
waitress on an oil rig.
1288
01:06:02,292 --> 01:06:05,003
Doesn't--? Look at the piping.
1289
01:06:05,170 --> 01:06:08,173
She tries to be so self-possessed,
but look at the terror in her face.
1290
01:06:08,340 --> 01:06:10,467
Well, it's all about fear for her.
1291
01:06:10,676 --> 01:06:12,261
Well, it's all about her.
1292
01:06:15,347 --> 01:06:16,974
BUCK:
He's taking his time picking.
1293
01:06:17,307 --> 01:06:19,017
That's for sure.
1294
01:06:20,144 --> 01:06:22,229
TREVOR:
And stopping them once again.
1295
01:06:22,729 --> 01:06:24,940
He is a highly respected judge.
1296
01:06:25,149 --> 01:06:27,442
Often tends to go on personality.
1297
01:06:27,651 --> 01:06:30,612
And we've certainly got a lot of personality
in this selection.
1298
01:06:30,821 --> 01:06:33,115
- You're number one. Two.
- Yes!
1299
01:06:33,323 --> 01:06:35,951
JUDGE: Three. And four.
- Thank you very much.
1300
01:06:40,664 --> 01:06:44,001
Yeah. Look at that poodle.
She knows she's a winner.
1301
01:06:44,209 --> 01:06:46,503
And look at her handler.
That is one happy fella.
1302
01:06:46,712 --> 01:06:48,672
That is actually a woman.
1303
01:06:48,881 --> 01:06:52,217
BUCK: A woman-- Lady handler.
They are sharing the joy.
1304
01:06:52,426 --> 01:06:55,721
And this is interesting,
do you think they can feel the joy?
1305
01:06:56,180 --> 01:06:57,306
- Okay.
- Big surprise.
1306
01:06:57,514 --> 01:06:59,641
There it is. I better show Agnes this bitch.
1307
01:06:59,850 --> 01:07:01,810
Oh, God. When she smiles...
1308
01:07:02,019 --> 01:07:05,480
Stop eating that shirt and look
at your competition.
1309
01:07:05,689 --> 01:07:07,983
That is Rhapsody in White.
1310
01:07:08,192 --> 01:07:10,611
That's who you're gonna beat.
1311
01:07:10,903 --> 01:07:13,155
- She wins in a waltz, don't you?
- She does.
1312
01:07:13,363 --> 01:07:15,908
Christy's gonna go talk to Sherri Ann.
1313
01:07:16,074 --> 01:07:18,577
Here's Sherri Ann.
What is Sherri Ann wearing?
1314
01:07:18,744 --> 01:07:20,204
[STEFAN LAUGHING]
1315
01:07:20,913 --> 01:07:22,247
And she--
1316
01:07:25,918 --> 01:07:27,294
Hello?
1317
01:07:29,379 --> 01:07:31,340
SCOTT:
Rhapsody has two mommies.
1318
01:07:33,217 --> 01:07:35,928
BUCK: All right, Trevor Beckwith,
it all comes down to this.
1319
01:07:36,094 --> 01:07:39,306
They're going for all the marbles.
The Best in Show.
1320
01:07:39,473 --> 01:07:40,974
The final seven.
1321
01:07:41,183 --> 01:07:42,893
It's the bottom of the ninth inning.
1322
01:07:43,101 --> 01:07:44,895
It's the goal-line stand.
1323
01:07:45,103 --> 01:07:46,855
It's the final round.
1324
01:07:47,105 --> 01:07:51,485
And after all the grooming, the petting,
the kibbles, the liver snaps.
1325
01:07:51,818 --> 01:07:53,612
Your opinion. Your feedback.
1326
01:07:53,820 --> 01:07:57,074
This is a very exciting moment.
All these are wonderful dogs.
1327
01:07:57,282 --> 01:07:59,326
And this is the moment
everybody's been waiting for.
1328
01:07:59,576 --> 01:08:01,995
The last seven. The best of the best.
1329
01:08:02,162 --> 01:08:04,164
- This is a great moment.
- Crème de la crème.
1330
01:08:04,331 --> 01:08:06,124
- As long as you're calm.
- I do. I am.
1331
01:08:06,333 --> 01:08:08,919
Because I'm as calm as a cucumber,
okay?
1332
01:08:09,127 --> 01:08:10,545
Why don't you sit down?
1333
01:08:10,754 --> 01:08:13,340
- Go sit down.
- I'm kidding. I'm nervous.
1334
01:08:13,548 --> 01:08:17,010
So sit down now because Winky and I
have to get ready for the show.
1335
01:08:17,219 --> 01:08:18,345
Knock them dead, honey.
1336
01:08:18,679 --> 01:08:19,888
- Good luck.
- Aw, thank you.
1337
01:08:20,097 --> 01:08:21,598
- Good luck.
COOKIE: "Bye-bye, Daddy."
1338
01:08:21,807 --> 01:08:24,393
Say, "Bye-bye, Daddy." Bye, darling.
1339
01:08:24,643 --> 01:08:25,811
GERRY:
Sweetheart?
1340
01:08:26,186 --> 01:08:28,313
- Make Fern City proud, okay?
COOKIE: I will.
1341
01:08:28,480 --> 01:08:29,731
I will. Ha, ha.
1342
01:08:30,691 --> 01:08:33,235
- Aah! What the--?
WOMAN: Are you all right?
1343
01:08:35,153 --> 01:08:38,323
What'd I trip on?
Did somebody put something here so I'd trip?
1344
01:08:38,532 --> 01:08:40,575
SCOTT: Calm down.
CHRISTY: Why did you fall?
1345
01:08:40,784 --> 01:08:43,036
Okay, it's just my knee. I'm fine.
1346
01:08:43,245 --> 01:08:45,622
CHRISTY: Look out.
You're gonna step on your dog.
1347
01:08:45,831 --> 01:08:49,626
- Oh, no. Your knee is all messed up.
- We need a doctor.
1348
01:08:49,835 --> 01:08:51,712
Is there--? Can we get a medic?
1349
01:08:51,920 --> 01:08:53,171
It's Best In Show.
1350
01:08:53,380 --> 01:08:55,924
Your knee is ballooning up
like a watermelon, sweetheart.
1351
01:08:56,091 --> 01:08:57,134
Aw.
1352
01:08:57,301 --> 01:09:00,095
Baby, you can't miss this.
Winky can't miss this.
1353
01:09:00,304 --> 01:09:03,265
He's worked for two and a half years.
He can't miss this.
1354
01:09:03,473 --> 01:09:04,873
- He can't miss?
- He can't miss it.
1355
01:09:04,975 --> 01:09:06,977
- Then we get a handler.
- A handler?
1356
01:09:07,185 --> 01:09:10,105
- We get a professional handler.
- A stranger?
1357
01:09:10,314 --> 01:09:12,941
If you want the dog in the show,
we need a handler.
1358
01:09:13,150 --> 01:09:15,068
You have to do it. You have to.
1359
01:09:15,277 --> 01:09:18,405
You have a concussion.
You're not making any sense.
1360
01:09:18,572 --> 01:09:20,407
All you have to do is follow him.
1361
01:09:20,615 --> 01:09:22,367
Just follow him.
1362
01:09:22,576 --> 01:09:24,661
CHRISTY: We'll take care of you.
- You'll be fine.
1363
01:09:24,870 --> 01:09:26,163
I've walked him--
1364
01:09:26,371 --> 01:09:29,374
You take him for a walk every night.
That's gaiting.
1365
01:09:29,583 --> 01:09:32,586
I don't even know what gaiting is.
What's this?
1366
01:09:32,794 --> 01:09:36,548
Your number, keep it on your left arm.
Keep the dog on the left.
1367
01:09:37,049 --> 01:09:38,592
- Why--
- Gerry...
1368
01:09:38,759 --> 01:09:40,510
...you're gonna show Winky.
1369
01:09:44,598 --> 01:09:47,017
TREVOR:
And here they come! The pointer...
1370
01:09:47,225 --> 01:09:49,770
The pointer from the sporting group,
handled by Jill Koch.
1371
01:09:49,978 --> 01:09:52,814
And look at that magnificent dog.
1372
01:09:53,023 --> 01:09:54,358
Absolutely beautiful.
1373
01:09:54,566 --> 01:09:57,527
Do you think they know
the championship's on the line here?
1374
01:09:57,736 --> 01:09:59,696
I think they know
they're very special dogs...
1375
01:09:59,905 --> 01:10:01,782
...and that they're still in it.
1376
01:10:02,449 --> 01:10:03,533
And the bloodhound...
1377
01:10:03,784 --> 01:10:06,578
BUCK: Getting the track of the pointer.
TREVOR: Beautiful dog.
1378
01:10:06,828 --> 01:10:08,288
TREVOR:
Hubert.
1379
01:10:08,455 --> 01:10:11,416
I was talking to his owner and handler,
Harlan Pepper...
1380
01:10:11,583 --> 01:10:15,253
...and he believes this dog
has a tremendous future.
1381
01:10:16,004 --> 01:10:19,800
And here's the Siberian husky,
handled by Joanne Dixon.
1382
01:10:20,008 --> 01:10:22,427
BUCK: Also a beautiful dog.
TREVOR: Magnificent, yes.
1383
01:10:22,594 --> 01:10:25,555
BUCK:
And they're strutting their stuff too.
1384
01:10:30,185 --> 01:10:33,480
TREVOR: The terrier group now.
This is the Norwich terrier.
1385
01:10:33,814 --> 01:10:35,148
With...
1386
01:10:36,566 --> 01:10:40,070
- Seems to have a different handler.
- It's not Cookie Fleck.
1387
01:10:40,987 --> 01:10:44,116
BUCK: We're getting word
that the dog is being handled by...
1388
01:10:44,533 --> 01:10:46,868
...Cookie's husband, Gerry Fleck.
1389
01:10:47,035 --> 01:10:49,246
TREVOR: Very unusual.
BUCK: Boy, this is thrilling.
1390
01:10:49,413 --> 01:10:51,748
The bottom of the ninth,
a pinch hitter comes in.
1391
01:10:52,457 --> 01:10:54,543
Am I nuts or--?
1392
01:10:54,793 --> 01:10:57,170
Something's wrong with his feet.
1393
01:10:57,671 --> 01:11:01,466
TREVOR: I don't think I ever find
myself saying this, but I think...
1394
01:11:01,633 --> 01:11:04,136
...you're right.
BUCK: He's got two left feet.
1395
01:11:04,344 --> 01:11:05,720
TREVOR:
That is certainly a first.
1396
01:11:05,887 --> 01:11:08,014
Go get them, pal. Man.
1397
01:11:08,932 --> 01:11:12,644
TREVOR: And the toy group,
the shih tzu is here with Scott Donlan...
1398
01:11:12,811 --> 01:11:15,981
...in a splendid outfit.
BUCK: Scott is prancing along...
1399
01:11:16,148 --> 01:11:18,316
...with the dog. And look at his outfit.
1400
01:11:18,483 --> 01:11:21,194
In my neighborhood,
you wear an outfit like that...
1401
01:11:21,361 --> 01:11:24,114
...you better be a hotel doorman.
1402
01:11:24,281 --> 01:11:27,075
- He is having fun with his dog.
- Here's Rhapsody...
1403
01:11:27,409 --> 01:11:29,449
BUCK: That's your favorite.
TREVOR: ...with Christy.
1404
01:11:29,578 --> 01:11:31,413
BUCK:
And the crowd's reacting too.
1405
01:11:31,580 --> 01:11:35,709
TREVOR: This dog is as close to perfect
as you'll see. And she knows it.
1406
01:11:35,876 --> 01:11:38,503
- She knows this.
BUCK: She has a winner's attitude.
1407
01:11:38,753 --> 01:11:41,006
And last, lastly we have the...
1408
01:11:41,173 --> 01:11:43,967
...the Shetland sheepdog. The dog I have.
1409
01:11:44,134 --> 01:11:45,802
The Sheltie.
1410
01:11:46,303 --> 01:11:49,389
Let me ask you.
This may be a little bit off the path.
1411
01:11:49,556 --> 01:11:52,350
How much weight do you think
I could bench press?
1412
01:11:52,851 --> 01:11:55,604
Just make a guess. Ballpark figure.
1413
01:11:55,812 --> 01:11:59,024
Three hundred and fifteen pounds.
I mean, I was in top shape.
1414
01:11:59,191 --> 01:12:01,902
I don't know if I could make it
back and forth here.
1415
01:12:02,068 --> 01:12:04,779
- Quite impressive.
- Dead-lifted over 500.
1416
01:12:06,072 --> 01:12:09,618
TREVOR: I think we're all set to go.
BUCK: Oh, boy. Oh, boy!
1417
01:12:09,868 --> 01:12:11,495
JUDGE:
Bring out the pointer, please.
1418
01:12:12,871 --> 01:12:17,125
BUCK: And the judge is Everett Bainbridge,
if I'm not wrong.
1419
01:12:17,334 --> 01:12:19,961
TREVOR: Yes, Everett is a very
experienced judge.
1420
01:12:20,170 --> 01:12:22,756
BUCK: I would hope so.
- We're in very good hands.
1421
01:12:22,964 --> 01:12:26,092
This is like the World Series.
You get the best umpires.
1422
01:12:26,718 --> 01:12:28,220
Once around, please.
1423
01:12:32,224 --> 01:12:33,892
Bring out the bloodhound, please.
1424
01:12:43,902 --> 01:12:45,153
Once around, please.
1425
01:12:49,699 --> 01:12:52,577
BUCK: Can a dog win it or lose it
in this last round...
1426
01:12:52,786 --> 01:12:54,454
...or has the judge made up his mind?
1427
01:12:54,704 --> 01:12:56,498
Oh, good heavens, no. This is...
1428
01:12:56,748 --> 01:12:58,291
It's not won or lost at this point.
1429
01:12:58,500 --> 01:13:01,044
It's apples and oranges, different breeds.
1430
01:13:01,253 --> 01:13:03,380
Are they looking for something particular?
1431
01:13:03,588 --> 01:13:06,091
TREVOR: It's a gut reaction
on some level. These are all...
1432
01:13:06,258 --> 01:13:09,261
...superb animals.
BUCK: Very subjective for the judge, then.
1433
01:13:09,469 --> 01:13:10,971
Very difficult task to pick.
1434
01:13:11,179 --> 01:13:14,558
Let me ask you, does money ever
exchange hands under the table?
1435
01:13:14,766 --> 01:13:17,060
- Good Lord, no.
- Don't stick your neck out.
1436
01:13:17,269 --> 01:13:20,939
- I'd be tempted to lay a few dollars.
- Bring out the Norwich terrier.
1437
01:13:26,778 --> 01:13:28,446
[CHEERING]
1438
01:13:33,285 --> 01:13:34,995
Once around, please.
1439
01:13:42,919 --> 01:13:45,046
BUCK:
They're just one cuter than the other.
1440
01:13:45,255 --> 01:13:47,549
TREVOR: And I think everybody
responds to that.
1441
01:13:47,757 --> 01:13:49,342
Bring out the shih tzu, please.
1442
01:14:06,276 --> 01:14:08,862
BUCK: I couldn't get used
to being probed and prodded.
1443
01:14:09,029 --> 01:14:10,905
I told my proctologist once:
1444
01:14:11,114 --> 01:14:13,950
"Why don't you take me out
to dinner and a movie sometime?"
1445
01:14:14,159 --> 01:14:16,911
Yes. I remember you said that last year.
1446
01:14:17,370 --> 01:14:19,080
Once around, please.
1447
01:14:29,591 --> 01:14:32,135
Bring out the standard poodle, please.
1448
01:14:34,262 --> 01:14:35,889
[ANNOUNCER SPEAKING INDISTINCTLY]
1449
01:14:37,599 --> 01:14:41,645
ANNOUNCER: The so-called French poodle
may in actuality come from Germany.
1450
01:14:43,563 --> 01:14:45,774
This may seem like a silly question.
1451
01:14:45,982 --> 01:14:48,526
If you get a French dog,
a Chinese dog, a German dog...
1452
01:14:48,693 --> 01:14:51,946
...do they all bark the same?
They all sound the same...
1453
01:14:52,155 --> 01:14:53,740
Or is it a different language?
1454
01:14:53,948 --> 01:14:56,701
Different dogs have different
intonations and tones.
1455
01:14:56,910 --> 01:15:00,121
The country, the boundaries,
doesn't make any difference?
1456
01:15:05,669 --> 01:15:08,463
JUDGE:
Bring out the Shetland sheepdog, please.
1457
01:15:10,965 --> 01:15:13,843
BUCK: I notice in these competitions
they don't do the basic...
1458
01:15:14,010 --> 01:15:17,555
..."sit up, roll over, fetch, heel."
1459
01:15:17,722 --> 01:15:20,183
They start at a higher level than that,
don't they?
1460
01:15:20,350 --> 01:15:21,935
TREVOR:
Those are the basic commands--
1461
01:15:22,143 --> 01:15:26,022
BUCK: Is that taken into consideration
at the start, or, I mean...
1462
01:15:26,231 --> 01:15:29,943
...are you just judging
by how well a dog is groomed?
1463
01:15:30,985 --> 01:15:32,570
Once around.
1464
01:15:34,531 --> 01:15:36,991
BUCK:
These dogs are pampered and petted...
1465
01:15:37,200 --> 01:15:39,452
...and all in top physical condition.
1466
01:15:39,661 --> 01:15:42,163
TREVOR:
No question. This is the prime.
1467
01:15:42,372 --> 01:15:45,333
You won't see finer specimens
than these seven dogs.
1468
01:15:45,542 --> 01:15:48,378
It's a shame, really,
that there has to be one picked.
1469
01:15:48,545 --> 01:15:50,296
Because as we've said
time and time again...
1470
01:15:50,463 --> 01:15:53,216
...these aren't just winners.
These are winners within winners.
1471
01:15:57,846 --> 01:16:02,392
And Mr. Bainbridge is taking a very,
very close look at these dogs.
1472
01:16:02,600 --> 01:16:06,396
I don't envy him this task.
He's a master of...
1473
01:16:06,604 --> 01:16:09,274
...150 breeds.
1474
01:16:09,441 --> 01:16:13,236
And this well-informed judge...
This is a terribly difficult task.
1475
01:16:13,403 --> 01:16:17,115
BUCK: Like the umpire calling a play
at home plate in the bottom of the 9th.
1476
01:16:17,282 --> 01:16:19,033
I wouldn't want to be in his shoes.
1477
01:16:21,161 --> 01:16:24,831
TREVOR: The judge is going over
to the judges' table to sign the book.
1478
01:16:24,998 --> 01:16:27,292
- So he's made his decision.
- We have a winner.
1479
01:16:28,334 --> 01:16:30,211
BUCK:
Lot of hearts in dogs' throats.
1480
01:16:30,378 --> 01:16:31,880
Do dogs react to this?
1481
01:16:32,088 --> 01:16:34,716
TREVOR:
They sense the tension. They have to.
1482
01:16:34,924 --> 01:16:36,259
They can't not.
1483
01:16:36,468 --> 01:16:39,679
And here comes the cup, with Dr. Millbank
and Graham Chissolm.
1484
01:16:39,929 --> 01:16:43,933
BUCK: Look at the size of that.
I've taken sponge baths in smaller bowls.
1485
01:16:44,142 --> 01:16:48,772
This really is the defining moment
of this competition.
1486
01:16:59,824 --> 01:17:01,284
JUDGE:
The Norwich terrier!
1487
01:17:01,618 --> 01:17:02,869
[CROWD CHEERING]
1488
01:17:03,203 --> 01:17:04,579
[SCREAMS]
1489
01:17:09,709 --> 01:17:11,920
SCOTT:
Congratulations, you did a great job.
1490
01:17:15,340 --> 01:17:17,217
Thank you. Thanks.
1491
01:17:17,383 --> 01:17:19,010
Cookie!
1492
01:17:19,177 --> 01:17:21,137
- Cookie!
COOKIE: Gerry!
1493
01:17:21,304 --> 01:17:23,473
- Cookie!
COOKIE: Gerry!
1494
01:17:23,640 --> 01:17:25,642
- Cookie!
COOKIE: Gerry!
1495
01:17:25,809 --> 01:17:27,185
- Cookie!
- Gerry!
1496
01:17:27,352 --> 01:17:29,187
Cookie! We did it! Ha, ha!
1497
01:17:31,147 --> 01:17:34,150
- We took the Mayflower!
- You're so beautiful!
1498
01:17:34,359 --> 01:17:37,445
Oh, my God! Oh, thank you!
1499
01:17:40,281 --> 01:17:42,075
[SCREAMS]
1500
01:17:57,465 --> 01:18:00,802
After the Mayflower,
we came back to Fern City...
1501
01:18:00,969 --> 01:18:03,555
...and we were celebrities.
1502
01:18:03,763 --> 01:18:05,014
We were big.
1503
01:18:05,181 --> 01:18:08,184
We were big.
Everything just broke loose like a cannon.
1504
01:18:08,351 --> 01:18:11,604
We were given the key to the city
from the mayor.
1505
01:18:11,771 --> 01:18:14,315
- With a picture in the newspaper.
- Picture in the newspaper.
1506
01:18:14,482 --> 01:18:15,942
We, we--
1507
01:18:16,150 --> 01:18:17,277
We, we, we had...
1508
01:18:17,485 --> 01:18:19,654
- Radio interviews.
- Radio interviews.
1509
01:18:19,863 --> 01:18:22,198
- Three.
- Three radio interviews.
1510
01:18:22,490 --> 01:18:25,952
And you know, at some point,
a good friend of ours said:
1511
01:18:26,160 --> 01:18:29,080
"You know, you've got
all these great songs...
1512
01:18:29,414 --> 01:18:32,375
...that you do about your terriers,
and you're...
1513
01:18:32,584 --> 01:18:34,210
Do something with them...
1514
01:18:34,377 --> 01:18:35,879
...because you're celebrities now."
1515
01:18:36,045 --> 01:18:38,285
COOKIE: We never thought of it.
We were doing it for fun.
1516
01:18:38,548 --> 01:18:42,093
Just for the love of terriers.
But, thinking, "Yeah. Why not?"
1517
01:18:42,302 --> 01:18:44,762
There's something to be said for that.
1518
01:18:44,929 --> 01:18:48,808
BOTH [SINGING]:
Back yard, front yard, or the park
1519
01:18:49,767 --> 01:18:53,104
- Play with it till it gets dark
- Play with it till it gets dark
1520
01:18:54,606 --> 01:18:57,984
- Take it home after a while
- Take it home after a while
1521
01:18:58,943 --> 01:19:00,445
- Then chew it up
- Then chew it up
1522
01:19:00,653 --> 01:19:03,948
- Terrier style
- Bow-wow
1523
01:19:04,741 --> 01:19:05,950
Delish
1524
01:19:06,993 --> 01:19:08,745
Bow-wow
1525
01:19:09,162 --> 01:19:10,747
- Some dish
- Some dish
1526
01:19:11,247 --> 01:19:12,332
[MUSIC STOPS]
1527
01:19:12,540 --> 01:19:14,375
SOUND GUY: Cookie?
- Yeah?
1528
01:19:14,751 --> 01:19:15,877
Cookie Googleman?
1529
01:19:17,086 --> 01:19:19,714
- Yeah.
- Does this ring a bell?
1530
01:19:19,923 --> 01:19:23,384
[SINGSONG]
I'm not wearing underwear.
1531
01:19:26,471 --> 01:19:29,140
- Bulge?
- Yeah, that's me.
1532
01:19:29,599 --> 01:19:30,642
COOKIE: Bulge?
- Yeah!
1533
01:19:30,808 --> 01:19:32,977
- Get out of town!
- It's me!
1534
01:19:33,186 --> 01:19:34,771
You look fantastic.
1535
01:19:34,979 --> 01:19:37,815
You too. Ahem. You've grown.
1536
01:19:38,024 --> 01:19:41,194
I'm growing right now, girl,
just looking at you.
1537
01:19:41,361 --> 01:19:45,448
That is the one and only time
I've ever done it on a roller coaster.
1538
01:19:46,574 --> 01:19:49,327
CHRISTY: I like both of them.
And we could find something there.
1539
01:19:49,494 --> 01:19:53,081
But what I like about these,
and Sherri Ann would agree...
1540
01:19:53,289 --> 01:19:54,415
Honey?
1541
01:19:54,791 --> 01:19:57,418
If we could get this picture of the dog...
1542
01:19:57,627 --> 01:19:59,003
...and maybe one of these...
1543
01:19:59,212 --> 01:20:01,130
CHRISTY:
Gosh, it's been a year.
1544
01:20:01,339 --> 01:20:03,675
So much has happened. Oh, my gosh.
1545
01:20:04,092 --> 01:20:05,677
Uh, well...
1546
01:20:06,469 --> 01:20:08,513
...we didn't win at Mayflower.
1547
01:20:08,721 --> 01:20:13,476
Which is surreal and, um,
was extremely disturbing.
1548
01:20:13,726 --> 01:20:16,187
SHERRI ANN: It was so not right.
- It was devastating.
1549
01:20:17,230 --> 01:20:20,608
But the silver lining of this cloud,
of course, is that...
1550
01:20:20,817 --> 01:20:23,736
...you know, it brought us
to a new level in our relationship.
1551
01:20:23,903 --> 01:20:25,279
- Mm-hm.
- Yeah.
1552
01:20:25,446 --> 01:20:28,408
And now we got to open up
these offices...
1553
01:20:28,616 --> 01:20:30,493
...and publish this magazine here.
1554
01:20:30,702 --> 01:20:35,123
American Bitch. The dog magazine
for women and their dogs.
1555
01:20:36,666 --> 01:20:41,045
It's a focus on the issues of
the lesbian purebred dog owner.
1556
01:20:41,254 --> 01:20:44,465
We're on our third issue.
These are our first two issues here.
1557
01:20:44,674 --> 01:20:47,301
And it's fantastic, you know?
1558
01:20:47,677 --> 01:20:50,805
Sherri Ann is definitely
the inspiration and, you know...
1559
01:20:51,014 --> 01:20:53,141
...and I do the grunt work, the details.
1560
01:20:53,516 --> 01:20:55,727
She has a very big heart.
1561
01:20:55,935 --> 01:20:59,105
She's generous. She's kind.
1562
01:20:59,397 --> 01:21:02,400
- She's sweet.
- Well, vice versa.
1563
01:21:02,692 --> 01:21:05,069
Yeah. She's changed my life.
1564
01:21:05,278 --> 01:21:09,991
And, and as it turns out,
she's dynamite in the sack.
1565
01:21:10,158 --> 01:21:12,035
[BOTH LAUGHING]
1566
01:21:12,869 --> 01:21:16,164
- Likewise, I'm sure.
- Oh.
1567
01:21:17,874 --> 01:21:19,792
HARLAN:
After the dog show...
1568
01:21:19,959 --> 01:21:22,420
...I was on an El Al flight to Haifa...
1569
01:21:22,628 --> 01:21:25,840
...faster than a walnut could roll off
a henhouse roof.
1570
01:21:26,215 --> 01:21:30,470
And I spent about three weeks
on a kibbutz, just mellowing out.
1571
01:21:30,678 --> 01:21:32,013
Of course, they make you work.
1572
01:21:32,180 --> 01:21:34,390
But it was a good place to clear your mind.
1573
01:21:34,599 --> 01:21:37,602
And I realized that I had a lot to offer...
1574
01:21:37,810 --> 01:21:41,773
...besides just having a fishing shop
and going to dog shows, though.
1575
01:21:41,981 --> 01:21:44,484
I've been working pretty hard on...
1576
01:21:44,692 --> 01:21:47,737
...mastering the art of ventriloquism...
1577
01:21:47,945 --> 01:21:51,199
...which is an ancient art.
1578
01:21:51,783 --> 01:21:55,661
And it requires a kind of scientific mind.
1579
01:21:55,870 --> 01:21:59,373
And I enjoy being able to put people...
1580
01:21:59,582 --> 01:22:01,709
...in another dimension, so to speak...
1581
01:22:01,918 --> 01:22:04,837
...where they look around
and they don't know...
1582
01:22:05,046 --> 01:22:08,174
...where the voice is coming from,
which is the whole point, I guess.
1583
01:22:08,341 --> 01:22:10,176
[SINGING]
Let's all go honky-tonking
1584
01:22:10,343 --> 01:22:12,178
[IN HIGH-PITCHED VOICE]
Down in Louisiana
1585
01:22:12,345 --> 01:22:14,889
[IN NORMAL VOICE]
Where the biscuits and gravy are like
1586
01:22:15,056 --> 01:22:16,516
[IN HIGH-PITCHED VOICE]
Dixie's manna
1587
01:22:16,682 --> 01:22:18,851
[IN NORMAL VOICE] Let's go honky-tonking
They'll be
1588
01:22:19,060 --> 01:22:20,561
[IN HIGH-PITCHED VOICE]
Glad to see us
1589
01:22:20,728 --> 01:22:23,689
On a Louisiana night
1590
01:22:40,373 --> 01:22:41,624
Woo-hoo!
1591
01:22:44,919 --> 01:22:48,589
All right, I'm coming. I only have
five arms. Hold your horses.
1592
01:22:48,798 --> 01:22:51,467
- We should have gotten horses.
- Little bitty horses.
1593
01:22:51,676 --> 01:22:53,136
That'd be real smart.
1594
01:22:53,344 --> 01:22:57,098
STEFAN: We always wanted to do this.
One thing that brought us together...
1595
01:22:57,348 --> 01:23:00,601
...was our love of old movies
of the '30s and '40s.
1596
01:23:00,768 --> 01:23:03,229
The MGM musicals
and the great love stories.
1597
01:23:03,437 --> 01:23:06,482
So we decided to create this calendar
with our buddy Terry.
1598
01:23:06,732 --> 01:23:08,442
SCOTT:
Terry's a photographer...
1599
01:23:08,651 --> 01:23:10,069
...he lives really near us.
1600
01:23:10,236 --> 01:23:14,740
He took these pictures for us about
two years ago for Stefan's birthday.
1601
01:23:14,949 --> 01:23:16,284
- Which are--
- Boudoir shots.
1602
01:23:16,492 --> 01:23:17,869
You're not allowed to see them.
1603
01:23:18,077 --> 01:23:19,954
It's, sort of, that kind of thing.
1604
01:23:20,163 --> 01:23:22,915
And we love them.
And Terry's very talented.
1605
01:23:23,124 --> 01:23:25,793
And he loves our dogs. So we had this idea.
1606
01:23:26,002 --> 01:23:27,962
We loved old movies so much...
1607
01:23:28,129 --> 01:23:30,673
...so we wanted to put it together...
1608
01:23:30,882 --> 01:23:32,800
...into one project...
1609
01:23:32,967 --> 01:23:35,970
...which was going to set the world aflame.
1610
01:23:36,137 --> 01:23:38,639
{\an8}I don't know if it'll do that, but...
1611
01:23:38,848 --> 01:23:41,392
{\an8}STEFAN: We're not gonna sell it.
It's for friends.
1612
01:23:41,559 --> 01:23:43,439
{\an8}SCOTT: We should try to sell it.
STEFAN: Really?
1613
01:23:43,644 --> 01:23:47,148
{\an8}STEFAN: Shih tzus in the great
love scenes of the-- Well, maybe.
1614
01:23:47,607 --> 01:23:50,818
If we could give the money
to Shih Tzu Rescue, you know.
1615
01:23:51,027 --> 01:23:52,587
- They have plenty of money.
- So do we.
1616
01:23:52,737 --> 01:23:54,614
And what shih tzus need rescuing,
anyway?
1617
01:23:54,822 --> 01:23:58,159
What shih tzu is straggling around
the street with an old coat saying:
1618
01:23:58,367 --> 01:24:00,661
- "Help! Alms for the poor"?
- Like the little match girl.
1619
01:24:00,828 --> 01:24:02,121
[BOTH LAUGHING]
1620
01:24:02,788 --> 01:24:05,499
So how have things been going?
1621
01:24:05,875 --> 01:24:08,211
Everything's changed for the better.
1622
01:24:08,628 --> 01:24:10,671
- We are so happy now.
- We are so happy.
1623
01:24:10,838 --> 01:24:13,424
And our sex life
is finally back on track, huh?
1624
01:24:13,591 --> 01:24:16,761
- Good.
HAMILTON: Beatrice had many problems.
1625
01:24:16,928 --> 01:24:18,554
She was a real problem.
1626
01:24:18,804 --> 01:24:21,015
- Poor thing.
- Just negative.
1627
01:24:21,224 --> 01:24:23,935
- Very negative dog. Mm.
- Very negative.
1628
01:24:24,227 --> 01:24:26,437
- And hurtful, I thought.
- Yeah.
1629
01:24:27,063 --> 01:24:29,065
HAMILTON: Didn't you think so? Mm-hm.
MEG: Mm-hm.
1630
01:24:29,232 --> 01:24:30,608
And our new dog, Kipper...
1631
01:24:31,484 --> 01:24:32,735
- ...is fantastic.
- Fantastic!
1632
01:24:32,944 --> 01:24:35,112
Oh, talk about a winner.
1633
01:24:35,905 --> 01:24:39,200
- Such a winner.
- And he doesn't mind us having sex.
1634
01:24:39,367 --> 01:24:42,286
HAMILTON: He likes to watch.
MEG: He likes to watch.
1635
01:24:42,912 --> 01:24:45,289
HAMILTON: Oh, honey.
MEG: What we went through, huh?
1636
01:24:45,581 --> 01:24:47,333
HAMILTON: It was horrible.
MEG: Mm-hm.
1637
01:24:47,917 --> 01:24:49,502
- He's a good dog.
- He is a good dog.
1638
01:24:49,710 --> 01:24:51,712
And you're a good lady.
1639
01:30:06,610 --> 01:30:08,612
{\an8}[English - US - SDH]