1
00:00:02,002 --> 00:00:03,925
(UPBEAT MUSIC PLAYING)
2
00:00:38,372 --> 00:00:40,170
(FIREWORKS EXPLODING)
3
00:00:41,124 --> 00:00:42,967
(TRAM BELLS DINGING)
4
00:00:45,128 --> 00:00:46,550
(INDISTINCT)
5
00:00:51,301 --> 00:00:53,645
(MUSIC CONTINUES
ON CAR STEREO)
6
00:00:55,013 --> 00:00:56,060
(SIGHS) Man.
7
00:00:56,139 --> 00:00:58,141
I'm excited
about this party.
8
00:00:58,475 --> 00:00:59,647
Oh!
9
00:01:00,310 --> 00:01:03,860
I saw a special
10
00:01:03,939 --> 00:01:06,658
on Animal Planet today.
11
00:01:06,733 --> 00:01:07,734
Yeah?
12
00:01:07,818 --> 00:01:10,867
About how frogs can
spontaneously switch sexes.
13
00:01:12,239 --> 00:01:13,741
Are you okay, babe?
14
00:01:13,824 --> 00:01:16,168
Yeah, I just thought you
would find that interesting.
15
00:01:17,411 --> 00:01:18,754
Oh!
What?
16
00:01:18,829 --> 00:01:20,752
Shoot!
What happened?
17
00:01:20,831 --> 00:01:22,674
I forgot that I have
an errand to run.
18
00:01:23,709 --> 00:01:25,302
I have to swing
by the restaurant
19
00:01:25,377 --> 00:01:26,503
and get the receipts,
I forgot.
20
00:01:26,587 --> 00:01:28,931
Oh, you can do that tomorrow. You
don't have to do it tonight.
21
00:01:29,006 --> 00:01:31,134
No, I promised Alex
that I would do it tonight.
22
00:01:31,216 --> 00:01:32,342
Oh, Alex won't mind.
23
00:01:32,426 --> 00:01:33,427
Yeah.
24
00:01:33,510 --> 00:01:34,602
Let's just go to
my sister's party.
25
00:01:34,678 --> 00:01:36,931
Let's get you a drink. I
think you probably need one.
26
00:01:37,014 --> 00:01:39,437
We'll have a bit of a dance. I want
to get weird with you tonight.
27
00:01:39,516 --> 00:01:42,190
No, I have to
swing by the receipts.
28
00:01:43,520 --> 00:01:47,070
It's the end of the year and
the taxman waits for no one.
29
00:01:48,483 --> 00:01:51,111
What is going on with you?
ls everything all right?
30
00:01:51,194 --> 00:01:52,662
What is happening?
Nothing is happening.
31
00:01:52,738 --> 00:01:54,081
Tell me what's going on.
Nothing.
32
00:01:54,156 --> 00:01:55,658
Tell me what's happening.
Nothing's happening.
33
00:01:55,741 --> 00:01:57,743
You look very
tense and sweaty.
34
00:01:57,826 --> 00:01:59,794
Just tell me what's happening, Tom.
(SIGHING)
35
00:02:04,291 --> 00:02:06,419
I was gonna ask you
to marry me tonight.
36
00:02:09,046 --> 00:02:10,548
Oh, my God!
37
00:02:10,631 --> 00:02:11,883
(GASPING)
38
00:02:12,132 --> 00:02:13,725
Oh, my God!
39
00:02:14,217 --> 00:02:17,596
Oh, my God.
Oh, no, I love you.
40
00:02:18,221 --> 00:02:19,598
I love you.
41
00:02:20,891 --> 00:02:22,939
Oh, I love you.
I love you.
42
00:02:23,018 --> 00:02:25,112
Oh, no. Did you
have something planned?
43
00:02:25,187 --> 00:02:27,235
And I questioned you
too much, didn't I?
44
00:02:27,522 --> 00:02:31,777
We had a plan. It was sort of
like a skit about the receipts.
45
00:02:31,860 --> 00:02:36,081
With the receipts. Oh, just do
the thing, I want the thing.
46
00:02:36,406 --> 00:02:37,999
Please do the thing
with the receipts.
47
00:02:38,075 --> 00:02:40,749
I've been dreaming about those
receipts since I was a little girl.
48
00:02:40,827 --> 00:02:41,874
Please.
49
00:02:43,538 --> 00:02:45,666
(JAZZ MUSIC PLAYING)
50
00:02:48,168 --> 00:02:51,593
Violet! Tom!
What a surprise.
51
00:02:52,089 --> 00:02:53,887
Are you here
for the receipts?
52
00:02:53,965 --> 00:02:56,059
The taxman
waits for no one.
53
00:02:56,134 --> 00:02:57,135
She knows.
54
00:02:57,219 --> 00:02:59,096
VIOLET: Yeah.
She knows what?
55
00:02:59,805 --> 00:03:01,648
Alex, it's fine.
She knows already.
56
00:03:01,723 --> 00:03:03,350
Dude, shut the fuck up!
Congratulations.
57
00:03:03,433 --> 00:03:05,435
No,no,no! Just pretend
like I don't know.
58
00:03:05,519 --> 00:03:06,691
Do the thing
that we planned.
59
00:03:06,770 --> 00:03:07,862
Do the thing.
60
00:03:08,438 --> 00:03:10,156
Really?
VIOLET: Yep.
61
00:03:12,776 --> 00:03:14,323
This is stupid.
62
00:03:14,778 --> 00:03:15,995
L... (CLEARING THROAT)
63
00:03:17,155 --> 00:03:19,749
Darn it, I can't
find the receipts.
64
00:03:19,825 --> 00:03:21,418
Where are they?
65
00:03:21,493 --> 00:03:24,622
I may have left them
on the beautiful roof deck.
66
00:03:24,705 --> 00:03:28,960
Why don't you wait there while I
search for the receipts in the back?
67
00:03:29,835 --> 00:03:31,382
Right this way.
68
00:03:33,630 --> 00:03:35,724
Oh, my God! Babe!
69
00:03:36,550 --> 00:03:38,018
Oh! Look.
70
00:03:39,386 --> 00:03:41,809
Oh, Tom. Okay.
71
00:03:44,141 --> 00:03:47,315
I will go ahead and look
for those receipts now.
72
00:03:48,145 --> 00:03:50,364
What the...
Look at the bridge.
73
00:03:50,439 --> 00:03:52,407
San Francisco
is for lovers.
74
00:03:52,482 --> 00:03:53,654
Got it.
75
00:03:55,694 --> 00:03:56,695
Violet,
76
00:03:57,487 --> 00:04:02,209
it was one year ago tonight, on New
Year's Eve, when I first saw you.
77
00:04:03,326 --> 00:04:05,499
(POP MUSIC PLAYING)
78
00:04:09,207 --> 00:04:12,757
We were at a Make-Up-
Your-Own-Superhero party.
79
00:04:12,836 --> 00:04:14,930
I was dressed
as Super Bunny.
80
00:04:15,213 --> 00:04:17,215
VIOLET: And I was
Princess Diana.
81
00:04:26,683 --> 00:04:28,651
I turned to my sister
82
00:04:28,727 --> 00:04:32,106
and I said, "Who is that
cute bunny?" And she said,
83
00:04:32,189 --> 00:04:33,441
"He looks like
a murderer."
84
00:04:36,109 --> 00:04:37,827
(CHUCKLING)
Which was harsh.
85
00:04:41,656 --> 00:04:43,203
Well, then
this song came on.
86
00:04:45,368 --> 00:04:46,995
(SOFT ROCK MUSIC PLAYING)
87
00:05:01,551 --> 00:05:04,020
TOM: And I walked up
to you and I said...
88
00:05:04,095 --> 00:05:07,190
"I'm sorry to interrupt, but what
exactly is your superpower?“
89
00:05:07,265 --> 00:05:10,895
VIOLET: And I said, "Princess Diana
doesn't require a superpower.“
90
00:05:21,988 --> 00:05:25,333
Okay, listen, I'm not sure
exactly what you wanted,
91
00:05:25,408 --> 00:05:27,001
but then it occurred to me
that I'm supposed to be
92
00:05:27,077 --> 00:05:28,875
the one who knows you better
than anyone in this world.
93
00:05:28,954 --> 00:05:31,833
And I remember that you saw Blood
Diamond and it really upset you,
94
00:05:31,915 --> 00:05:33,417
so instead
I got you a ruby.
95
00:05:33,500 --> 00:05:35,298
There are still
diamonds all around it,
96
00:05:35,377 --> 00:05:37,129
tiny ones,
but this is vintage,
97
00:05:37,212 --> 00:05:39,385
and I think
a hundred years ago,
98
00:05:39,464 --> 00:05:41,592
diamond mining
wasn't as brutal.
99
00:05:41,675 --> 00:05:43,177
I know that
doesn't make sense.
100
00:05:43,260 --> 00:05:45,763
If you do not like this,
we can return it
101
00:05:45,846 --> 00:05:47,223
and go to Tiffany's
and get a new one.
102
00:05:47,305 --> 00:05:48,522
I actually have
an appointment there
103
00:05:48,598 --> 00:05:49,815
with someone
tomorrow at 3:00 p.m.
104
00:05:49,891 --> 00:05:51,438
No, no, no.
105
00:05:52,102 --> 00:05:53,945
It is perfect.
106
00:05:55,355 --> 00:05:57,153
You know me so well.
107
00:05:58,149 --> 00:06:00,072
Violet.
Yes?
108
00:06:00,527 --> 00:06:01,779
Will you marry me?
ALEX: Dude, dude, dude.
109
00:06:02,153 --> 00:06:03,655
Chef Sally just showed up.
Right now. What?
110
00:06:03,780 --> 00:06:05,123
You guys got to go. TOM:
What are you talking about?
111
00:06:05,198 --> 00:06:06,541
I thought you said
you were sick.
112
00:06:06,950 --> 00:06:08,452
(MUSIC STOPS)
113
00:06:09,244 --> 00:06:10,871
Chef, can you not
do this right now?
114
00:06:10,954 --> 00:06:14,208
SALLY: Of all the people who have
stabbed me in the back, you?
115
00:06:14,291 --> 00:06:16,214
You know what I should do?
Put you on the brunch shift.
116
00:06:16,293 --> 00:06:18,261
Unless you're feeling too colicky
for that, you fucking baby.
117
00:06:18,336 --> 00:06:21,556
Chef, I'm trying to propose to
my future wife, just right now.
118
00:06:21,631 --> 00:06:23,178
Literally, right now.
119
00:06:23,383 --> 00:06:25,886
Oh! Wow.
120
00:06:25,969 --> 00:06:27,266
Okay, wow.
121
00:06:27,637 --> 00:06:30,311
Okay, congratulations,
both you guys.
122
00:06:31,558 --> 00:06:33,151
Live long and prosper.
123
00:06:35,979 --> 00:06:38,482
No, that's weird.
That's Star Trek.
124
00:06:41,192 --> 00:06:42,239
Oh, my God.
125
00:06:42,319 --> 00:06:44,162
I'm sorry.
It's okay.
126
00:06:44,946 --> 00:06:45,947
Anyway-
127
00:06:50,535 --> 00:06:51,536
(MOUTHING)
128
00:07:04,591 --> 00:07:07,845
Violet, I love you.
129
00:07:08,261 --> 00:07:09,729
I love you.
130
00:07:10,639 --> 00:07:11,856
Will you marry me?
131
00:07:13,516 --> 00:07:14,893
Yes.
132
00:07:18,855 --> 00:07:20,323
I love you.
133
00:07:46,716 --> 00:07:48,093
(INAUDIBLE)
134
00:07:55,308 --> 00:07:57,402
(CHUCKLING) on, no!
135
00:08:24,421 --> 00:08:28,142
When Tom first told us
about Violet and he...
136
00:08:29,092 --> 00:08:31,186
PETE: We thought that
he was lying to me.
137
00:08:31,261 --> 00:08:34,686
For how could a woman
so pretty and intelligent...
138
00:08:34,764 --> 00:08:38,234
Go for a guy so goofy
and without a cent?
139
00:08:38,309 --> 00:08:41,734
CAROL: And to be getting married
after only just one year...
140
00:08:41,813 --> 00:08:45,033
Seems pretty short, don't
you think so, my dear?
141
00:08:45,108 --> 00:08:50,285
Now, it's too bad Tom's last grandpa
just suffered a fatal stroke.
142
00:08:50,363 --> 00:08:52,707
Because he would
have loved to be here.
143
00:08:52,782 --> 00:08:54,659
And that's no joke.
And that's no joke.
144
00:08:55,285 --> 00:08:56,377
CAROL: To Tom and Violet.
145
00:08:56,453 --> 00:08:57,955
PETE: To Tom and Violet.
146
00:08:59,456 --> 00:09:00,958
My daughter, Violet,
147
00:09:01,374 --> 00:09:03,672
the first important thing
to remember about marriage
148
00:09:03,752 --> 00:09:06,096
is that it
requires commitment.
149
00:09:06,504 --> 00:09:09,474
The second important thing
to remember about marriage
150
00:09:09,549 --> 00:09:11,597
is that so does insanity.
151
00:09:15,138 --> 00:09:20,269
(WEEPING) Vi, you know I don't believe in
marriage, or kids or anything like that,
152
00:09:21,644 --> 00:09:23,942
but when I see
you two together,
153
00:09:25,190 --> 00:09:28,911
I get what the whole institution
is about, you know...
154
00:09:29,319 --> 00:09:32,619
Sorry, I promised myself I
wouldn't cry and I just...
155
00:09:32,697 --> 00:09:33,823
Fuck!
156
00:09:35,492 --> 00:09:37,836
Come on, Suzie.
Come on, Suzie!
157
00:09:39,329 --> 00:09:41,127
All right, I got it.
158
00:09:48,421 --> 00:09:50,674
I didn't think...
(MUMBLING INCOHERENTLY)
159
00:09:51,758 --> 00:09:53,556
(SUZIE SOBBING)
Take a breath, love.
160
00:09:54,177 --> 00:09:57,147
All right.
Violet and Tom...
161
00:09:59,099 --> 00:10:00,692
GEORGE: Breathe, breathe.
162
00:10:00,767 --> 00:10:02,110
(CHUCKLING) It's okay.
163
00:10:03,728 --> 00:10:06,652
(IN SOMBER TONE) ...are perfect
for each other in every way.
164
00:10:10,068 --> 00:10:12,912
And I feel
great about it.
165
00:10:14,155 --> 00:10:15,873
And I love you.
166
00:10:15,990 --> 00:10:17,082
(ALL CHUCKLING)
167
00:10:17,158 --> 00:10:18,910
I love you so much.
168
00:10:18,993 --> 00:10:20,540
I love you.
169
00:10:21,037 --> 00:10:23,131
SUZIE: And, Tom, (IN HOARSE
VOICE) I love you, too.
170
00:10:23,206 --> 00:10:24,207
Oh!
171
00:10:26,126 --> 00:10:27,218
(SOBBING) I'm sorry.
172
00:10:27,210 --> 00:10:29,508
TOM: That's enough. That was enough.
GEORGE: It's all right, love.
173
00:10:29,587 --> 00:10:32,090
VIOLET: It's all right.
Amazing!
174
00:10:32,549 --> 00:10:34,927
Are you ready for this?
175
00:10:35,760 --> 00:10:38,354
Have you considered
your finances?
176
00:10:39,097 --> 00:10:41,099
Do you know how many
children you want to have?
177
00:10:41,182 --> 00:10:43,810
Indeed, do you want
to have children?
178
00:10:44,394 --> 00:10:47,819
Where are you going to live? Do
you know each other well enough?
179
00:10:48,064 --> 00:10:51,989
No, you see, the tendency when one
is young is to be rather naive.
180
00:10:52,068 --> 00:10:54,947
One assumes that everything
is going to turn out
181
00:10:55,029 --> 00:10:59,409
like some wonderful romantic
comedy starring Tom Hanks.
182
00:11:00,243 --> 00:11:04,840
But, in reality, the sad fact
is that most relationships
183
00:11:04,914 --> 00:11:08,885
end up like Saving Private
Ryan, or Philadelphia.
184
00:11:11,462 --> 00:11:15,262
Doing a bit of a multimedia
presentation here, so just one second.
185
00:11:16,050 --> 00:11:17,393
(PEOPLE LAUGHING)
ON MIC: Here we go.
186
00:11:18,928 --> 00:11:21,226
Oh, Tommy boy, I've known
you for a long time.
187
00:11:21,306 --> 00:11:22,273
TOM: Yeah.
188
00:11:22,390 --> 00:11:25,189
Violet, you are certainly the
love of his life. Mmm-hmm.
189
00:11:25,643 --> 00:11:27,486
And we use this
moment to celebrate
190
00:11:27,562 --> 00:11:30,782
a new future of
commitment and love.
191
00:11:32,150 --> 00:11:35,450
But not without
first exploring a past.
192
00:11:36,613 --> 00:11:37,956
Here we go.
193
00:11:38,072 --> 00:11:40,325
(ROCK AND ROLL MUSIC PLAYING)
194
00:11:44,495 --> 00:11:47,795
(SINGING) Jenni Newman, Greta
Kay, Anne Pefia, Lizzie Gray
195
00:11:47,874 --> 00:11:50,969
Kelly Wozack, Dana Gilpin
and Lizzie Gray again
196
00:11:51,127 --> 00:11:54,427
Jill McCarthy, Teresa Nassbaum,
Sally Baker, Big Alice
197
00:11:54,505 --> 00:11:57,600
This Korean, that Korean,
and Lizzie Gray again
198
00:11:57,675 --> 00:12:00,929
Ingrid Pell and my ex Even
though they claimed no sex
199
00:12:01,012 --> 00:12:04,266
Rock and roll and cola wars
I can't take it anymore
200
00:12:04,349 --> 00:12:06,272
Violet didn't start
Tom's fire
201
00:12:07,310 --> 00:12:10,735
It was always burning
and she got the ring on
202
00:12:10,980 --> 00:12:13,324
She wasn't
his first lover
203
00:12:13,983 --> 00:12:17,237
As it turns out
He fucked some others
204
00:12:17,320 --> 00:12:18,367
Doris Williams...
205
00:12:18,446 --> 00:12:21,074
Okay, that's enough. I think
that's enough, right?
206
00:12:21,157 --> 00:12:22,124
Really?
207
00:12:22,200 --> 00:12:23,417
Yeah, that's plenty.
208
00:12:23,660 --> 00:12:25,583
(DIXIELAND MUSIC PLAYING)
209
00:12:26,329 --> 00:12:27,706
Oh!
Whoa!
210
00:12:38,341 --> 00:12:41,845
Boo! Oh, my God! Jesus Christ!
211
00:12:41,928 --> 00:12:43,851
(CHUCKLING)
Nope. Alex.
212
00:12:44,847 --> 00:12:48,272
You're right, yep. Yes,
I know who you are.
213
00:12:49,102 --> 00:12:51,355
You've got quite
a reputation.
214
00:12:52,855 --> 00:12:54,357
Nice.
(SIGHING) Yeah.
215
00:12:54,440 --> 00:12:56,363
Is that good
or is it bad?
216
00:12:56,442 --> 00:12:59,286
It's mostly gross.
Yeah, just gross stuff.
217
00:12:59,362 --> 00:13:00,454
Yeah.
218
00:13:01,197 --> 00:13:02,790
Yeah.
(SNIFFS)
219
00:13:02,865 --> 00:13:05,869
Are you wearing Chanel No.
5, by chance?
220
00:13:06,744 --> 00:13:08,462
I'm not wearing
anything.
221
00:13:08,538 --> 00:13:09,835
No way.
No.
222
00:13:09,914 --> 00:13:11,666
That's just
your smell, huh?
223
00:13:11,749 --> 00:13:12,875
Yeah.
224
00:13:12,959 --> 00:13:14,461
Crazy.
Yep.
225
00:13:15,086 --> 00:13:16,633
It's pretty weird.
226
00:13:16,713 --> 00:13:17,885
Yeah.
227
00:13:20,216 --> 00:13:22,969
All right, you know, this
is not gonna happen.
228
00:13:23,052 --> 00:13:24,224
Sorry.
229
00:13:24,887 --> 00:13:25,934
You seem very nice.
230
00:13:26,055 --> 00:13:27,102
No, I was...
231
00:13:27,181 --> 00:13:29,809
It's just not gonna happen. Yep.
232
00:13:29,892 --> 00:13:30,984
I know it.
I agree.
233
00:13:31,060 --> 00:13:32,687
All right, good.
234
00:13:34,230 --> 00:13:36,733
What?
Oh, I'm gonna...
235
00:13:43,740 --> 00:13:44,741
(VIOLET GIGGLES)
236
00:13:44,824 --> 00:13:45,916
Hello.
237
00:13:46,034 --> 00:13:47,001
VIOLET: Gideon.
TOM: Oh, hi.
238
00:13:47,076 --> 00:13:49,579
I just wanted to say
congratulations to both of you.
239
00:13:49,662 --> 00:13:53,166
I really couldn't have picked a better
choice for my favorite ex-girlfriend.
240
00:13:53,249 --> 00:13:54,250
Aw! Thank you
very much.
241
00:13:54,334 --> 00:13:56,052
I didn't know that you
were going to be here.
242
00:13:56,127 --> 00:13:58,880
Uh... Yeah. Your mom said I could
come, so I just popped over.
243
00:13:59,130 --> 00:14:01,599
From London,
through Atlanta.
244
00:14:02,759 --> 00:14:03,760
And Houston.
245
00:14:04,510 --> 00:14:08,560
Right. I am going
to go to the loo and...
246
00:14:09,307 --> 00:14:10,775
I think you literally just
went to the bathroom.
247
00:14:10,850 --> 00:14:12,523
Mmm... Didn't. No.
248
00:14:18,399 --> 00:14:20,026
How was Afghanistan?
249
00:14:20,109 --> 00:14:21,110
It was harrowing.
250
00:14:21,277 --> 00:14:22,574
I was there
for the capture of
251
00:14:22,653 --> 00:14:26,624
Mullah Abdul Akhtud El Sayed
Ahmed Shafeer Salaheen.
252
00:14:27,367 --> 00:14:28,368
Amazing.
253
00:14:29,702 --> 00:14:31,875
Um... Violet is
a fantastic woman.
254
00:14:31,954 --> 00:14:32,921
She is.
255
00:14:32,997 --> 00:14:34,965
How long have you guys
been together?
256
00:14:35,291 --> 00:14:36,964
Just...
Just over a year.
257
00:14:38,461 --> 00:14:40,304
We were together for
four and a half years.
258
00:14:40,588 --> 00:14:43,717
You think after four years you're gonna be
spending the rest of your life together.
259
00:14:43,800 --> 00:14:46,804
Now you get her, even though you're
still just in the first quarter.
260
00:14:48,096 --> 00:14:49,564
Do you want me to get you a
glass of wine or something?
261
00:14:49,639 --> 00:14:50,640
No.
262
00:14:50,932 --> 00:14:52,934
Oh! Good timing.
Gideon, stop crying.
263
00:14:53,351 --> 00:14:55,649
This is an emotional
moment for me.
264
00:14:55,812 --> 00:14:57,814
No, this is an emotional
moment for Tom and I.
265
00:14:57,897 --> 00:14:59,991
You are a guest at
our emotional moment.
266
00:15:01,275 --> 00:15:03,118
Congratulations.
Okay. All right.
267
00:15:03,194 --> 00:15:05,993
(INHALING DEEPLY)
Do not smell me, Gideon.
268
00:15:07,740 --> 00:15:09,413
(LAUGHING) That is awful!
269
00:15:10,368 --> 00:15:11,369
You like that one?
270
00:15:11,452 --> 00:15:13,204
I hate all of them.
271
00:15:17,750 --> 00:15:19,252
Om
(LAUGHING)
272
00:15:22,547 --> 00:15:25,517
VIOLET: I want to get that job
offer in the mail from Berkeley
273
00:15:25,591 --> 00:15:28,344
and become
a psychology professor.
274
00:15:28,428 --> 00:15:32,433
Work with brilliant people and
just dig in for the next 40 years.
275
00:15:33,391 --> 00:15:35,735
And I want to open
my own restaurant
276
00:15:35,810 --> 00:15:39,610
with a private room in the
back just for you and me.
277
00:15:40,398 --> 00:15:41,741
And our 20 kids.
278
00:15:41,816 --> 00:15:44,285
And all of our little pigs. Hmm.
279
00:15:59,125 --> 00:16:01,594
Don't worry, we'll get some breakfast in a bit.
You'll feel better.
280
00:16:01,669 --> 00:16:02,966
Not eggs.
281
00:16:03,129 --> 00:16:04,551
Oh! Alex!
282
00:16:04,964 --> 00:16:06,591
VIOLET: Hey.
TOM: Hey.
283
00:16:07,800 --> 00:16:09,222
Hey
Yo!
284
00:16:09,302 --> 00:16:11,521
I didn't think you were
going to stay the night.
285
00:16:11,596 --> 00:16:15,146
Yeah, I didn't want to drive
home last night in my condition.
286
00:16:15,224 --> 00:16:18,023
So, I just
got myself a room.
287
00:16:18,102 --> 00:16:19,354
Oh, nice.
Yeah.
288
00:16:19,437 --> 00:16:21,189
Whoa, Suz!
VIOLET: Suzie.
289
00:16:21,272 --> 00:16:23,240
Hey, Suz.
Oh. Hi.
290
00:16:23,316 --> 00:16:24,488
TOM: Come join the fun.
291
00:16:25,443 --> 00:16:26,911
Oh. Hey.
292
00:16:27,403 --> 00:16:28,950
Hey. Yeah.
Hello.
293
00:16:34,619 --> 00:16:36,747
You know Suzie.
Your sister.
294
00:16:38,414 --> 00:16:39,415
(GASPING)
295
00:16:39,582 --> 00:16:40,925
(WHISPERING)
Shut the fuck up.
296
00:16:45,713 --> 00:16:47,590
Guess what I really
did last night?
297
00:16:48,049 --> 00:16:49,722
I'll give you
69 guesses.
298
00:16:50,593 --> 00:16:52,516
Oh, my God!
299
00:16:59,268 --> 00:17:00,269
Hi.
300
00:17:02,104 --> 00:17:03,151
Hi.
301
00:17:03,231 --> 00:17:04,949
I'm Audrey.
I'm the new hostess.
302
00:17:05,024 --> 00:17:06,901
Audrey? Oh, cool, I'm Tom.
303
00:17:06,984 --> 00:17:08,281
Nice to meet you, Tom.
Nice to meet you.
304
00:17:08,361 --> 00:17:10,363
I'm the sous-chef here.
How is it going today?
305
00:17:10,446 --> 00:17:11,447
Good. How are you?
306
00:17:11,531 --> 00:17:14,000
Okay, I'm great. Yeah, it's
nice to have you aboard.
307
00:17:14,075 --> 00:17:15,076
Thank you.
Yeah.
308
00:17:15,159 --> 00:17:16,160
You'll make a great
part of the team.
309
00:17:16,244 --> 00:17:17,245
He's engaged.
310
00:17:17,828 --> 00:17:19,830
How's your fiancée doing?
311
00:17:20,289 --> 00:17:21,290
I-m
312
00:17:21,999 --> 00:17:23,672
Thank you.
Nice to meet you.
313
00:17:23,751 --> 00:17:25,674
Nice to meet you, also.
314
00:17:26,295 --> 00:17:27,387
What the fuck was that?
315
00:17:27,463 --> 00:17:29,431
What are you doing? You're
flirting with the help.
316
00:17:29,507 --> 00:17:32,010
I was not flirting, okay?
ALEX: Oh, really?
317
00:17:32,093 --> 00:17:33,595
I was being friendly.
ALEX: Yeah, right.
318
00:17:33,678 --> 00:17:38,104
You were sending telepathic wiener
missiles at her face, and you know it.
319
00:17:44,063 --> 00:17:46,065
SALLY: What are
all these tickets?
320
00:17:46,148 --> 00:17:48,276
You guys getting ready
to go to a Broadway show?
321
00:17:48,359 --> 00:17:51,738
I need three lamb and potatoes
and I actually need them now.
322
00:17:51,821 --> 00:17:52,993
Yes, Chef!
SALLY: I'm done with you.
323
00:17:53,072 --> 00:17:54,119
Give me that,
I'll do it myself.
324
00:17:54,115 --> 00:17:55,241
Thank you. Thank you. Alex,
how long on my steaks?
325
00:17:55,324 --> 00:17:56,416
Two minutes!
326
00:17:56,492 --> 00:17:58,836
Come on, come on, move,
you guys, like there's...
327
00:17:59,078 --> 00:18:00,455
(SCREAMS) Mother...
328
00:18:00,538 --> 00:18:02,290
(INDISTINCT TALKING)
329
00:18:03,708 --> 00:18:05,881
Cuntballs. Now it's starting to hurt.
Oh, my God!
330
00:18:05,960 --> 00:18:07,257
TOM: Chef, you have
to go to the hospital.
331
00:18:07,336 --> 00:18:09,338
Tom, you're in charge.
TOM: You got it, Chef.
332
00:18:09,422 --> 00:18:11,220
SALLY: I need a doggy
bag for my finger.
333
00:18:11,591 --> 00:18:12,888
TOM: All right, let's move.
334
00:18:12,967 --> 00:18:14,844
We got a shitload
of foie gras.
335
00:18:14,927 --> 00:18:16,770
I need you to push
the foie gras gelato.
336
00:18:16,846 --> 00:18:18,769
How long on the gelato, Alex?
I need it yesterday.
337
00:18:18,848 --> 00:18:19,849
ALEX: Four minutes.
338
00:18:19,932 --> 00:18:21,855
Hey, I need hands on all
those dishes in the window.
339
00:18:21,934 --> 00:18:22,935
Please, guys.
340
00:18:23,019 --> 00:18:25,568
Yeah, guys, I need hands
on my carrot wiener.
341
00:18:25,813 --> 00:18:28,657
Alex, put the
carrot wiener away.
342
00:18:33,654 --> 00:18:36,749
The face is the worst part of it all.
Get back to the foie gras.
343
00:18:36,991 --> 00:18:39,085
Hi, Granny Leonora.
Hi, Grampy.
344
00:18:39,201 --> 00:18:41,875
Hello. How are you, darling?
VIOLET: Hi, Nana. Hi, Baba.
345
00:18:41,954 --> 00:18:43,752
GRANDMA KATHERINE:
Oh, hello, sweetheart!
346
00:18:43,831 --> 00:18:44,798
This is fun.
347
00:18:44,874 --> 00:18:48,754
Violet, love, will you be getting
married in London or down in Sussex?
348
00:18:48,836 --> 00:18:51,339
Actually, Baba, we will
be doing the wedding
349
00:18:51,422 --> 00:18:53,390
in the Bay Area
in San Francisco.
350
00:18:53,466 --> 00:18:56,219
You could get married here,
in the village church.
351
00:18:56,302 --> 00:18:59,602
Get married in England, where you're from.
In London, come on.
352
00:18:59,680 --> 00:19:01,182
Not 5,000 bloody mi/es...
353
00:19:01,265 --> 00:19:05,065
Violet, America is
such a long way away.
354
00:19:05,144 --> 00:19:08,318
And grandparents do
have a tendency to die.
355
00:19:08,397 --> 00:19:10,320
VIOLET: Mum, Stop it.
356
00:19:10,858 --> 00:19:12,860
They're all right there.
What are you doing?
357
00:19:12,943 --> 00:19:14,616
Well, for now.
358
00:19:14,695 --> 00:19:16,368
VIOLET: Mum, stop!
359
00:19:19,742 --> 00:19:22,370
Come on, Berkeley.
Come on, Berkeley.
360
00:19:28,209 --> 00:19:29,210
(SIGHS)
361
00:19:29,418 --> 00:19:31,341
So, the barn holds,
like, 350 people.
362
00:19:31,420 --> 00:19:32,467
Oh, that's good.
Yeah.
363
00:19:32,546 --> 00:19:34,173
I really love it.
It's really beautiful.
364
00:19:34,548 --> 00:19:36,550
So, is it your wedding?
Yes, yeah, it is.
365
00:19:36,634 --> 00:19:38,261
That's too bad.
366
00:19:38,344 --> 00:19:40,096
You're so beautiful.
367
00:19:40,721 --> 00:19:41,768
Okay.
368
00:19:45,893 --> 00:19:47,019
(SIGHING)
369
00:19:47,728 --> 00:19:48,729
It's wonderful,
isn't it?
370
00:19:48,813 --> 00:19:50,281
It is so great.
371
00:19:50,564 --> 00:19:53,158
It's beautiful. When's the
next available weekend?
372
00:19:53,234 --> 00:19:55,032
In three years.
373
00:19:55,111 --> 00:19:56,988
Unless you want to get
married on September 11th.
374
00:19:58,989 --> 00:20:00,286
I don't.
375
00:20:01,367 --> 00:20:03,790
Don't let the
terrorists win.
376
00:20:05,037 --> 00:20:06,380
Yes!
Great!
377
00:20:06,455 --> 00:20:07,923
Okay, good, so this
is gonna be fun.
378
00:20:07,998 --> 00:20:10,877
Of course, the men
will wear yarmulkes.
379
00:20:11,293 --> 00:20:14,888
And, in that case, all eligible
Christians will be served communion.
380
00:20:14,964 --> 00:20:17,592
Communion? What, we're gonna have
communion at my son's wedding?
381
00:20:17,758 --> 00:20:20,807
Um... It is our
wedding, Pete.
382
00:20:21,303 --> 00:20:23,806
And, I mean, seeing as everyone
is gonna be wearing yarmulkes.
383
00:20:24,306 --> 00:20:27,810
Well, actually, only the men
will be wearing yarmulkes, so.
384
00:20:27,893 --> 00:20:30,646
Well, I've never heard you say
the word "yarmulke" until today.
385
00:20:31,188 --> 00:20:33,111
TOM: Excuse me, I say "yarmulke" all the time.
VIOLET: You don't.
386
00:20:33,190 --> 00:20:34,612
Like, "Hey,
where's my yarmulke?
387
00:20:34,692 --> 00:20:36,069
"Babe, have you
seen my yarmulke?"
388
00:20:36,152 --> 00:20:37,574
Babe, you don't
have a yarmulke.
389
00:20:37,653 --> 00:20:40,748
I have a whole... It's in
my Jewish drawer. You...
390
00:20:42,825 --> 00:20:45,294
I mean, how are you supposed to
even pick a dress from a magazine?
391
00:20:45,369 --> 00:20:48,498
Look at all of them, they're all
just white and puffy and stupid.
392
00:20:48,914 --> 00:20:51,463
Vi, come on. Hey!
(SIGHING) What?
393
00:20:51,542 --> 00:20:53,169
It's supposed
to be exciting.
394
00:20:53,377 --> 00:20:55,721
This is your wedding.
You only get a few of these.
395
00:20:56,922 --> 00:20:58,970
I didn't
get into Berkeley.
396
00:20:59,049 --> 00:21:01,768
It was the perfect teaching job.
It was local.
397
00:21:01,844 --> 00:21:02,936
Oh, God.
398
00:21:03,012 --> 00:21:05,185
Eight years of studying, just
(SPLUTTERS) down the tube.
399
00:21:05,264 --> 00:21:06,481
I'm so sorry, babe.
400
00:21:06,557 --> 00:21:08,434
I'm going to be married
within the year.
401
00:21:08,517 --> 00:21:10,019
I'm gonna be pregnant
within two years
402
00:21:10,853 --> 00:21:14,107
and no career, I'll just
be changing nappies
403
00:21:14,190 --> 00:21:17,114
and washing dishes
and making apple pie.
404
00:21:17,193 --> 00:21:19,537
And I want that,
I want it all,
405
00:21:19,612 --> 00:21:21,285
but I want to have
the career as well.
406
00:21:21,363 --> 00:21:23,115
It's not enough for me.
407
00:21:23,199 --> 00:21:25,793
I mean, it's fine.
I can reapply next year.
408
00:21:25,868 --> 00:21:27,415
You don't have
to get upset.
409
00:21:28,120 --> 00:21:31,465
It's fine. Why do you always
turn things into your thing?
410
00:21:31,540 --> 00:21:32,666
(TEARFULLY) No.
Come on!
411
00:21:32,750 --> 00:21:34,718
I'm sorry.
What?
412
00:21:34,794 --> 00:21:36,671
I can't help it.
It must be the hormones.
413
00:21:36,754 --> 00:21:40,179
What, you're at that time of the month again?
You're always on your period.
414
00:21:40,257 --> 00:21:41,725
No.
415
00:21:41,801 --> 00:21:43,428
What is it, then?
416
00:21:45,721 --> 00:21:47,268
Are you pregnant?
417
00:21:48,057 --> 00:21:49,650
Just a little.
418
00:21:49,725 --> 00:21:51,102
Just a little?
419
00:21:51,227 --> 00:21:53,025
(WHIMPERS)
Suzie!
420
00:21:53,813 --> 00:21:55,315
God, I feel so guilty.
Crikey!
421
00:21:55,397 --> 00:21:57,149
I know this is your time,
422
00:21:57,233 --> 00:21:59,702
and I just... I don't want to
take the attention away from you.
423
00:21:59,777 --> 00:22:01,074
I'm sorry.
424
00:22:01,153 --> 00:22:02,655
Who's the guy?
425
00:22:03,322 --> 00:22:05,040
I don't want
to tell you.
426
00:22:05,115 --> 00:22:06,412
Let me take
some guesses, okay?
427
00:22:06,534 --> 00:22:07,831
Just don't even
think about it.
428
00:22:07,910 --> 00:22:09,162
One, two, three.
429
00:22:09,245 --> 00:22:10,713
Alex.
Fucking hell!
430
00:22:10,788 --> 00:22:12,040
You didn't say it,
only I said it!
431
00:22:12,122 --> 00:22:14,045
Is it Alex?
It is Alex.
432
00:22:14,124 --> 00:22:15,341
Oh, gross!
433
00:22:15,417 --> 00:22:17,215
Of course it is. Jesus!
434
00:22:17,419 --> 00:22:19,547
No! He is a moron.
435
00:22:20,923 --> 00:22:22,220
Yeah.
436
00:22:22,299 --> 00:22:24,222
You may kiss the bride.
437
00:22:29,265 --> 00:22:31,484
(TRIO PLAYING CLASSICAL MUSIC)
438
00:22:40,693 --> 00:22:42,616
We're fucking married!
439
00:22:42,695 --> 00:22:44,038
(CHUCKLING)
440
00:22:44,655 --> 00:22:46,123
Chest bump.
Oh! Ah!
441
00:22:49,118 --> 00:22:50,461
SUZIEI We did it.
442
00:23:02,506 --> 00:23:05,305
(SINGING ROMANTIC
SPANISH SONG)
443
00:24:19,583 --> 00:24:20,800
(SIGHING)
444
00:24:22,962 --> 00:24:28,719
Not to be competitive, but our
wedding is going to be way better.
445
00:24:29,385 --> 00:24:32,810
Absolutely. Theirs was
pretty, but I was very cold.
446
00:24:33,430 --> 00:24:34,898
Okay, right?
Yeah.
447
00:24:34,974 --> 00:24:36,317
I was chilly
the whole time.
448
00:24:36,392 --> 00:24:37,393
It was very chilly.
449
00:24:41,563 --> 00:24:43,486
It was beautiful, wasn't it?
Fuck those guys.
450
00:24:43,565 --> 00:24:44,782
Fuck.
451
00:25:11,969 --> 00:25:13,937
VIOLET: Hey.
Hey.
452
00:25:14,013 --> 00:25:15,105
Whoa. What's going on?
453
00:25:15,180 --> 00:25:16,523
I'm good.
454
00:25:16,598 --> 00:25:19,568
No, I know you, you're not good.
What is going on?
455
00:25:19,643 --> 00:25:21,611
Okay.
Sit down and talk to me.
456
00:25:22,187 --> 00:25:24,030
I got a letter from
the University of Michigan.
457
00:25:24,106 --> 00:25:25,358
Okay.
I got in.
458
00:25:26,191 --> 00:25:29,035
Oh, my God! Congratulations,
that's great!
459
00:25:29,111 --> 00:25:31,034
No, no, no, it's not.
It's actually terrible.
460
00:25:31,113 --> 00:25:33,582
You know, I've been
sitting here panicking
461
00:25:33,657 --> 00:25:35,159
because my mum quit
her job for my dad
462
00:25:35,242 --> 00:25:36,664
and she never
forgave him, ever.
463
00:25:36,952 --> 00:25:40,047
She became a real martyr
and she's not a happy person,
464
00:25:40,122 --> 00:25:42,170
and I just don't want you
becoming my mother.
465
00:25:42,291 --> 00:25:44,669
I really don't want you
becoming like her. Babe.
466
00:25:46,045 --> 00:25:47,763
Calm down.
Okay.
467
00:25:47,838 --> 00:25:48,885
Okay, it's you and me.
Yeah.
468
00:25:48,964 --> 00:25:51,387
We can handle anything.
I'm not scared of this.
469
00:25:51,467 --> 00:25:52,719
I know, I think
I'm just scared
470
00:25:52,801 --> 00:25:54,348
that you will
end up resenting me.
471
00:25:54,428 --> 00:25:55,850
This is a huge
opportunity for you.
472
00:25:56,346 --> 00:25:58,769
If you don't do this, you're
gonna end up resenting me,
473
00:25:58,849 --> 00:26:03,150
and, frankly, I would much rather
be the resentor than resented.
474
00:26:03,979 --> 00:26:07,654
Look, let's talk logistics.
How long is the thing?
475
00:26:08,484 --> 00:26:10,407
Two years.
Two years?
476
00:26:10,486 --> 00:26:11,783
Yeah. It's long.
477
00:26:11,862 --> 00:26:13,079
No, it's not.
478
00:26:13,155 --> 00:26:14,122
Really?
479
00:26:14,198 --> 00:26:16,917
In the scheme of us spending
our whole lives together,
480
00:26:16,992 --> 00:26:18,790
two years, that's...
481
00:26:19,995 --> 00:26:22,123
And then we can
come back here, right?
482
00:26:22,247 --> 00:26:24,966
Yeah, of course. It's just two years.
Yeah, that's...
483
00:26:25,084 --> 00:26:26,802
And, look, I can cook anywhere.
Right.
484
00:26:26,877 --> 00:26:29,380
I've cooked in New York,
I've cooked in L.A.
485
00:26:29,463 --> 00:26:31,932
I'm pretty sure
I can handle Michigan.
486
00:26:32,883 --> 00:26:33,930
Um...
487
00:26:34,009 --> 00:26:36,728
All right. Listen,
here's what I propose.
488
00:26:37,179 --> 00:26:39,398
Let's just put off the wedding.
We're not in any rush.
489
00:26:39,473 --> 00:26:40,474
Really?
Yeah.
490
00:26:40,682 --> 00:26:43,777
We'll get to Michigan,
we'll get settled in,
491
00:26:43,852 --> 00:26:46,025
and then we'll start planning
the wedding again from there
492
00:26:46,105 --> 00:26:47,527
once we have
our bearings.
493
00:26:47,606 --> 00:26:48,903
Tom.
494
00:26:49,441 --> 00:26:50,488
Oh!
495
00:26:55,531 --> 00:26:57,204
Can I just say something?
Yeah.
496
00:26:58,033 --> 00:27:02,789
I think we both know that I deserve
to get super laid for this.
497
00:27:03,539 --> 00:27:05,382
Do you want me to wear
a cape or something?
498
00:27:05,457 --> 00:27:07,255
I mean, theoretically,
whatever you want.
499
00:27:07,334 --> 00:27:08,551
I'm just saying I don't
want weekday sex.
500
00:27:08,627 --> 00:27:10,595
You're guilt-sexing me! I want a show.
I want the show.
501
00:27:10,712 --> 00:27:12,134
You're gonna get the show.
Good, I better.
502
00:27:12,214 --> 00:27:14,137
You're gonna get the
Cirque du Soleil of shows.
503
00:27:15,217 --> 00:27:17,470
Lots of this.
And this stuff.
504
00:27:18,387 --> 00:27:20,139
Not a mime.
Yeah.
505
00:27:20,222 --> 00:27:21,815
This stuff.
506
00:27:21,890 --> 00:27:23,187
Babe!
(BOTH CHUCKLING)
507
00:27:26,895 --> 00:27:28,363
You really don't
think our family
508
00:27:28,438 --> 00:27:30,156
is going to be disappointed
that we're delaying?
509
00:27:31,066 --> 00:27:32,818
You know what?
They'll live.
510
00:27:33,777 --> 00:27:36,496
PRIEST: And now, a moment
of silence for Leonora.
511
00:27:40,742 --> 00:27:42,619
SALLY: Boy, we were
packed last night.
512
00:27:42,703 --> 00:27:45,001
I got reservations
coming in like crazy.
513
00:27:45,080 --> 00:27:46,423
What's going on?
514
00:27:48,458 --> 00:27:50,756
I'm actually here to give
you my two weeks' notice.
515
00:27:51,837 --> 00:27:53,885
I can't thank you enough
for all I've learned
516
00:27:53,964 --> 00:27:55,511
from you for the past
couple of years.
517
00:27:55,591 --> 00:27:56,843
It's been amazing,
and so...
518
00:27:56,925 --> 00:27:58,268
No.
519
00:27:59,303 --> 00:28:02,523
I was going to name you head
chef at my new restaurant.
520
00:28:02,598 --> 00:28:03,599
Clam Bar.
521
00:28:03,765 --> 00:28:05,438
What's going on?
522
00:28:05,976 --> 00:28:07,694
Wow, okay.
523
00:28:08,937 --> 00:28:12,441
I really wish that you would
have told me that earlier.
524
00:28:13,025 --> 00:28:14,117
Shit.
525
00:28:14,818 --> 00:28:18,243
Okay, so my fiancée,
Violet, who you've met,
526
00:28:18,822 --> 00:28:20,540
got a job in Michigan...
527
00:28:20,616 --> 00:28:23,540
This is why marriage
is dumb, okay? It's dumb.
528
00:28:23,619 --> 00:28:25,417
You have a job here,
and she's got a job there.
529
00:28:25,495 --> 00:28:27,839
You guys can't do anything
because you're so connected,
530
00:28:27,915 --> 00:28:29,462
so then one of you
has to get the shaft.
531
00:28:30,626 --> 00:28:33,129
This is why I voted
against gay marriage.
532
00:28:33,795 --> 00:28:34,796
Please don't tell people.
533
00:28:34,880 --> 00:28:38,885
Well, you know, just saying,
what are you supposed to do?
534
00:28:38,967 --> 00:28:41,971
It's like your fiancée
gets offered her dream job,
535
00:28:42,054 --> 00:28:43,146
what are you
going to do, say no?
536
00:28:43,597 --> 00:28:44,723
Yes.
537
00:28:45,974 --> 00:28:47,066
I have to go.
538
00:28:47,142 --> 00:28:48,143
Yeah.
539
00:29:15,212 --> 00:29:17,886
People make bad decisions.
This is a fact.
540
00:29:17,965 --> 00:29:20,093
They make them knowingly and
they make them consistently,
541
00:29:20,175 --> 00:29:23,224
and the question we ask
on this course is, "Why?"
542
00:29:23,303 --> 00:29:24,680
"I'm going
on a diet tomorrow,
543
00:29:24,763 --> 00:29:26,891
"so I'll eat as much chocolate as
I like tonight." (ALARM BEEPING)
544
00:29:26,974 --> 00:29:29,102
(ALL LAUGHING)
"Unprotected sex feels good,
545
00:29:29,184 --> 00:29:32,233
"so I'm going to have it despite the
fact I might go mad with syphilis."
546
00:29:32,396 --> 00:29:35,650
Please remain seated. It's
probably just a false alarm.
547
00:29:37,526 --> 00:29:41,747
Is behavior the person, the environment,
or a combination of the two?
548
00:29:42,072 --> 00:29:44,666
What do obesity,
lying, drunk driving
549
00:29:44,741 --> 00:29:46,664
and rooting for
Ohio State have in common?
550
00:29:46,743 --> 00:29:47,790
(ALL CHUCKLE)
551
00:29:47,869 --> 00:29:49,621
I'll tell you.
Bad decisions.
552
00:29:49,705 --> 00:29:52,174
In fact, you're all currently
making a bad decision.
553
00:29:52,249 --> 00:29:53,796
Why would you sit
through a fire alarm?
554
00:29:53,875 --> 00:29:57,470
Just because I, a man you've only just
met, tells you it's a false alarm
555
00:29:57,546 --> 00:29:59,264
doesn't mean
that in seconds' time
556
00:29:59,339 --> 00:30:01,012
we could all be
engulfed in flames,
557
00:30:01,091 --> 00:30:03,719
begging and crying
for a quick death.
558
00:30:04,886 --> 00:30:06,854
But it is a false alarm.
559
00:30:08,223 --> 00:30:09,270
(ALARM STOPS)
560
00:30:09,349 --> 00:30:12,068
And those firemen,
they're actors.
561
00:30:13,395 --> 00:30:14,442
(ALL CHUCKLING)
562
00:30:14,604 --> 00:30:16,732
Want to see
some real fire?
563
00:30:17,983 --> 00:30:19,200
(ALL GASPING)
564
00:30:19,401 --> 00:30:22,450
Welcome to Social Psychology.
Thank you.
565
00:30:35,292 --> 00:30:36,544
(GROANS)
566
00:30:53,018 --> 00:30:56,363
So, you quit your chef job in San
Francisco to move to Michigan?
567
00:30:56,438 --> 00:30:58,111
Believe it or not,
I did, yeah.
568
00:30:58,190 --> 00:30:59,783
(LAUGHING)
569
00:31:02,611 --> 00:31:04,284
Who does that?
570
00:31:08,158 --> 00:31:10,331
So, what were they paying
you in San Francisco?
571
00:31:10,827 --> 00:31:12,249
$18.50 an hour.
572
00:31:12,329 --> 00:31:13,546
Oh, shit!
Yeah.
573
00:31:13,622 --> 00:31:14,623
That's pretty good.
574
00:31:14,706 --> 00:31:15,753
I was lucky.
575
00:31:15,832 --> 00:31:17,800
I probably couldn't do
that, I could do $11.
576
00:31:19,127 --> 00:31:21,721
You know what, it's a different market.
I totally understand.
577
00:31:21,797 --> 00:31:22,798
You got to
start somewhere.
578
00:31:23,882 --> 00:31:25,475
Nine, then?
579
00:31:25,550 --> 00:31:27,518
Well, I thought
you just said 11.
580
00:31:27,594 --> 00:31:28,720
Well, six?
581
00:31:29,805 --> 00:31:31,478
I got it.
You're fucking with me.
582
00:31:31,556 --> 00:31:34,184
We don't really have
any openings. Sorry.
583
00:31:34,393 --> 00:31:36,270
(LAUGHING)
584
00:31:43,985 --> 00:31:46,408
Ooh! Impressive
knife skills.
585
00:31:46,488 --> 00:31:48,536
Thank you.
I've heard that before.
586
00:31:48,615 --> 00:31:50,993
So, yeah.
Do I have the job?
587
00:31:51,076 --> 00:31:54,080
No, I'm sorry. I just needed
those onions chopped.
588
00:31:54,496 --> 00:31:55,588
You're joking, right?
589
00:31:55,664 --> 00:31:57,462
No. Good luck, though.
590
00:31:57,541 --> 00:32:01,921
You left San Francisco to come to Michigan?
Are you fucking brain-dead?
591
00:32:02,003 --> 00:32:03,596
(ALL LAUGHING)
592
00:32:26,403 --> 00:32:28,201
And voile)!
593
00:32:28,989 --> 00:32:30,332
Figured that out quick.
594
00:32:30,615 --> 00:32:33,994
Oh, thanks. I studied at the Culinary
Institute for a couple years.
595
00:32:34,077 --> 00:32:35,704
Could I get
a dill with that?
596
00:32:36,246 --> 00:32:38,465
Well, you're welcome
to go with a dill
597
00:32:38,540 --> 00:32:41,293
if you want to make the
biggest mistake of your life.
598
00:32:41,376 --> 00:32:45,722
Personally, I think the kosher dill
is way too briny for a Reuben.
599
00:32:45,797 --> 00:32:48,721
You're going to want something nice
and cumin-y with a fresh kick.
600
00:32:48,884 --> 00:32:50,682
I'd go with
a habanero Sriracha.
601
00:32:51,052 --> 00:32:53,146
The cucumber's
naughty cousin.
602
00:32:53,221 --> 00:32:54,222
Thanks, man.
603
00:32:54,973 --> 00:32:57,146
I'm sort of a pickle
nerd around here.
604
00:32:57,225 --> 00:32:58,943
So, really, all I'm
gonna be doing here
605
00:32:59,019 --> 00:33:00,646
is just making
sandwiches, huh?
606
00:33:00,812 --> 00:33:02,940
Yeah, but you're making the
most exquisite sandwiches
607
00:33:03,023 --> 00:33:04,525
in town,
maybe the world.
608
00:33:04,608 --> 00:33:05,609
Right.
609
00:33:05,692 --> 00:33:07,444
Why don't you just fucking
let her have the dill, man?
610
00:33:07,569 --> 00:33:10,163
Why don't you just fucking do something?
Fuck off.
611
00:33:10,238 --> 00:33:11,330
Hey.
I'm Tom.
612
00:33:11,406 --> 00:33:12,749
I'm Margaret.
You're the new guy, right?
613
00:33:12,866 --> 00:33:14,413
I am, yeah. Nice to meet you.
Nice to meet you.
614
00:33:14,493 --> 00:33:16,086
Welcome to the team, dude.
615
00:33:16,286 --> 00:33:18,209
TARQUIN: I've pickled
everything, really.
616
00:33:18,747 --> 00:33:22,627
I've pickled beets,
pickled peanut butter.
617
00:33:23,251 --> 00:33:26,095
I pickled a sandwich.
I pickled batteries.
618
00:33:26,796 --> 00:33:27,968
I pickled weed.
619
00:33:28,256 --> 00:33:31,806
Which actually turned out
to be a huge waste of weed.
620
00:33:32,135 --> 00:33:33,182
(CHUCKLING)
Next.
621
00:33:34,763 --> 00:33:35,764
WINTON: Hello, Katherine.
622
00:33:36,431 --> 00:33:38,058
This is for you.
623
00:33:38,141 --> 00:33:40,860
Now, you can eat
that marshmallow now,
624
00:33:41,019 --> 00:33:44,944
or if you wait 20 minutes, I'm
gonna give you two marshmallows.
625
00:33:45,607 --> 00:33:47,325
Okay? I'll see you later.
626
00:33:48,276 --> 00:33:50,574
This is an experiment I did
a couple of years ago,
627
00:33:50,654 --> 00:33:54,534
which shows that children can have
trouble with self-regulation.
628
00:33:55,992 --> 00:33:59,337
As you know, if we don't get research
grants, we have no money to pay you.
629
00:33:59,412 --> 00:34:00,664
And, as of now,
we don't have one.
630
00:34:00,747 --> 00:34:05,127
So, we need ideas for some
studies that we can run,
631
00:34:05,210 --> 00:34:08,180
and this is my main
area of interest, here.
632
00:34:08,463 --> 00:34:12,764
Good. So I want to do the
marshmallow experiment with adults.
633
00:34:12,842 --> 00:34:15,265
Well, adults will just wait
for the second marshmallow.
634
00:34:15,470 --> 00:34:17,814
I actually don't even think
adults really like marshmallows.
635
00:34:18,139 --> 00:34:20,938
Yeah, well, I'm not referring
specifically to the marshmallow.
636
00:34:21,017 --> 00:34:22,394
What about this?
637
00:34:22,477 --> 00:34:24,571
What if we were to
take our subjects, right,
638
00:34:24,646 --> 00:34:26,694
and have them play
a driving video game?
639
00:34:27,649 --> 00:34:30,402
Have half of the subjects
drive the car normally.
640
00:34:30,485 --> 00:34:32,579
Have the other half
drive while masturbating.
641
00:34:33,363 --> 00:34:35,661
Why do all of your experiments
have to involve masturbation?
642
00:34:35,991 --> 00:34:38,494
Why do none of your experiments
involve masturbation?
643
00:34:39,160 --> 00:34:40,662
Um... What if we,
644
00:34:41,454 --> 00:34:45,755
um, casually left a box of stale
donuts in the testing room?
645
00:34:46,668 --> 00:34:48,841
And you inform the subjects
that these stale donuts
646
00:34:48,920 --> 00:34:50,513
will be replaced
with new donuts
647
00:34:51,006 --> 00:34:52,929
20 minutes from then.
648
00:34:53,008 --> 00:34:57,479
But then we watch and we see who
still goes for an old donut.
649
00:34:58,930 --> 00:35:01,479
What would be interesting
is if we had a manipulation.
650
00:35:01,558 --> 00:35:03,310
So, one group,
we could make them
651
00:35:03,393 --> 00:35:05,111
feel temporarily
depressed or...
652
00:35:05,186 --> 00:35:06,529
VANEETHA: You know
what we should do?
653
00:35:06,605 --> 00:35:08,278
We should do a screening
of The Notebook.
654
00:35:08,356 --> 00:35:09,323
Yes.
655
00:35:09,399 --> 00:35:10,446
I know it's stupid,
but that shit
656
00:35:10,525 --> 00:35:11,947
makes me cry.
Yeah.
657
00:35:12,027 --> 00:35:14,701
I would eat 10 million donuts
after watching The Notebook.
658
00:35:14,904 --> 00:35:16,201
Okay, I got a good one.
659
00:35:16,531 --> 00:35:20,161
How about we get a subject and
then put the subject to sleep,
660
00:35:20,243 --> 00:35:23,543
and then cover him with
blood and chicken feathers
661
00:35:23,622 --> 00:35:27,843
and then put a gun in his hand and
then scream inside of his ear.
662
00:35:28,543 --> 00:35:30,045
(STUTTERING)
For what purpose?
663
00:35:30,795 --> 00:35:32,968
I just want to
see what would happen.
664
00:35:33,757 --> 00:35:35,430
VANEETHA: Okay,
I have an experiment.
665
00:35:35,508 --> 00:35:37,806
I think we get three psych
grad students together,
666
00:35:37,886 --> 00:35:40,765
and we have them come up with the
craziest, most insane experiment ideas
667
00:35:40,847 --> 00:35:42,849
and then we just wait
and see how long it takes
668
00:35:42,932 --> 00:35:45,651
for the new girl to realize that
they're totally screwing with her.
669
00:35:46,311 --> 00:35:47,904
(WINTON CHUCKLING)
(LAUGHS)
670
00:35:48,229 --> 00:35:49,446
You're so busted.
671
00:35:50,899 --> 00:35:52,617
(LAUGHING) No!
672
00:35:52,692 --> 00:35:54,194
(ALL LAUGHING)
673
00:35:54,611 --> 00:35:56,113
VIOLET: Oh, my God!
674
00:35:57,489 --> 00:35:59,912
I felt like I was listening
to all of you...
675
00:35:59,991 --> 00:36:02,119
Because that masturbation
thing was, like...
676
00:36:02,327 --> 00:36:04,045
That's not a joke,
that's real.
677
00:36:04,120 --> 00:36:05,793
My masturbation
theories are real.
678
00:36:06,164 --> 00:36:07,666
Yeah. (CHUCKLES)
679
00:36:08,083 --> 00:36:10,677
VANEETHA: No, he's obsessed with them.
It's kind of a drag.
680
00:36:10,752 --> 00:36:12,846
Okay, listen, I like
Violet's donut experiment.
681
00:36:12,921 --> 00:36:16,596
I think it's elegant, it's simple,
and we all get to eat donuts.
682
00:36:16,675 --> 00:36:17,676
VIOLET: Great.
683
00:36:17,759 --> 00:36:19,011
WINTON: Well done, Violet.
Thank you.
684
00:36:19,094 --> 00:36:20,311
WINTON: Welcome aboard.
Thanks.
685
00:36:22,889 --> 00:36:24,391
(ALL LAUGHING)
686
00:36:25,308 --> 00:36:27,231
Okay, listen.
That's enough shoptalk.
687
00:36:27,310 --> 00:36:29,062
I love a love story.
How did you guys meet?
688
00:36:29,979 --> 00:36:31,322
I'll take this one, if
that's all right. Okay.
689
00:36:31,398 --> 00:36:32,399
Yeah.
690
00:36:32,482 --> 00:36:33,984
It was two
New Year's Eves ago.
691
00:36:34,234 --> 00:36:35,486
(POP MUSIC PLAYING)
692
00:36:38,196 --> 00:36:40,039
TOM: Violet was dressed
as Princess Diana.
693
00:36:40,115 --> 00:36:42,709
VIOLET: Yep, Tom was
dressed as Super Bunny.
694
00:36:42,784 --> 00:36:43,876
TOM: Guilty as charged.
695
00:36:44,619 --> 00:36:45,620
But, then...
696
00:36:45,704 --> 00:36:47,297
WINTON: Gwyrth!
Gwyrth! Down, Gwyrth!
697
00:36:47,664 --> 00:36:50,213
Gwyrth! Gwyrth!
Down, boy, down. Gwyrth.
698
00:36:50,291 --> 00:36:52,714
Come on, there we are.
Come on.
699
00:36:52,877 --> 00:36:54,800
Good boy, good boy.
(WHIMPERING)
700
00:36:55,714 --> 00:36:58,433
Gwyrth?
What a fascinating name.
701
00:36:58,508 --> 00:37:01,057
It's actually pronounced
"Gwyrth." It's Welsh.
702
00:37:01,136 --> 00:37:02,604
Gwyrf.
Gwyth.
703
00:37:02,679 --> 00:37:03,931
With an "F"?
704
00:37:04,848 --> 00:37:06,395
Gwyrth.
Gwyrth.
705
00:37:06,474 --> 00:37:07,817
Ah! Like Gwyrth Paltrow.
706
00:37:07,892 --> 00:37:09,064
No, no, "Gwyrth."
707
00:37:09,310 --> 00:37:11,278
Gwyth.
WINTON: No, it's "Gwyrth."
708
00:37:11,354 --> 00:37:12,480
Gwyr-yth.
709
00:37:12,564 --> 00:37:16,114
NO. G-W-Y-R-T-H. "Gwyrth."
710
00:37:16,192 --> 00:37:18,286
It means "miracle" in Welsh.
He was a rescue dog.
711
00:37:18,611 --> 00:37:19,612
VIOLET: Nice.
712
00:37:19,696 --> 00:37:21,790
Well, enough about the dog.
To marriage!
713
00:37:21,865 --> 00:37:22,912
To marriage.
714
00:37:22,991 --> 00:37:25,119
Cheers, everyone.
Congratulations, both of you.
715
00:37:25,201 --> 00:37:26,453
VIOLET: Thank you, Winton.
716
00:37:26,536 --> 00:37:27,958
TOM: And to Gwyneth.
717
00:37:29,289 --> 00:37:30,336
(CHUCKLING)
718
00:37:30,915 --> 00:37:32,713
(FEIGNING LAUGHTER)
719
00:37:33,168 --> 00:37:35,170
Okay, I got it.
I got it.
720
00:37:35,754 --> 00:37:36,755
Gwi-an.
721
00:37:38,214 --> 00:37:39,466
Ming, please.
722
00:37:39,841 --> 00:37:41,093
Hey.
How you doing?
723
00:37:41,176 --> 00:37:42,928
You okay? Great, awesome. Yeah, yeah.
This is cool.
724
00:37:43,011 --> 00:37:44,479
Okay, cool. Five more minutes.
This is cool.
725
00:37:44,554 --> 00:37:46,272
Okay.
726
00:37:49,100 --> 00:37:51,478
Thank God for another
male faculty-spouse.
727
00:37:51,936 --> 00:37:53,358
How could you tell?
728
00:37:53,438 --> 00:37:55,281
I can smell it on you.
729
00:37:55,356 --> 00:37:56,403
Hi, I'm Bill.
730
00:37:56,483 --> 00:37:57,450
Hi, Tom.
It's a pleasure.
731
00:37:57,525 --> 00:37:59,448
Nice to meet you.
What do you do, Tom?
732
00:37:59,527 --> 00:38:02,576
I'm a chef, actually. But right
now, I work at Zingerman's.
733
00:38:02,697 --> 00:38:05,075
Holy shit! I love that place.
Hmm.
734
00:38:05,867 --> 00:38:07,460
Yeah. (CLEARS THROAT)
Yeah, it's fun.
735
00:38:07,535 --> 00:38:09,003
So, what do you do
for a living?
736
00:38:09,078 --> 00:38:10,500
I am a chef.
737
00:38:11,039 --> 00:38:12,461
Have you seen
Ratatouille?
738
00:38:13,416 --> 00:38:15,885
Uh, yeah.
Based on my life.
739
00:38:16,002 --> 00:38:18,551
(CHUCKLING) It must
resonate with you, right?
740
00:38:18,630 --> 00:38:21,053
Yeah, I mean, sure.
Absolutely.
741
00:38:21,132 --> 00:38:22,133
You work at Zingerman?
TOM: Yeah.
742
00:38:22,217 --> 00:38:23,890
Oh, I love that place.
743
00:38:23,968 --> 00:38:25,390
Thanks.
Yeah, yeah, it's fun.
744
00:38:25,512 --> 00:38:27,890
Can you give me
a free sandwich?
745
00:38:28,890 --> 00:38:30,062
Sometime?
746
00:38:30,141 --> 00:38:31,768
Have you seen that
movie Ratatouille?
747
00:38:33,311 --> 00:38:35,234
You know, it's so funny.
Everyone keeps asking me that.
748
00:38:35,313 --> 00:38:37,736
Yeah. It's a fantastic movie.
Yeah. Yeah.
749
00:38:37,816 --> 00:38:38,908
How about you?
What do you do?
750
00:38:39,317 --> 00:38:42,491
I take care of the kids,
run carpool, pack lunches.
751
00:38:42,570 --> 00:38:45,494
It's fantastic, watching
the little ones grow up.
752
00:38:45,573 --> 00:38:47,575
Sometimes I wonder where my penis went.
(CHUCKLES)
753
00:38:48,368 --> 00:38:50,541
It's just a joke
I like to say.
754
00:38:50,703 --> 00:38:52,455
(ALL CHEERING)
755
00:38:53,498 --> 00:38:55,671
I got a lot of quality
time with your friends.
756
00:38:55,750 --> 00:38:57,423
They really like
Ratatouille.
757
00:38:57,585 --> 00:39:00,464
VIOLET: Oh, did I ignore
you at the party?
758
00:39:00,547 --> 00:39:02,970
Come here. I love you.
759
00:39:03,049 --> 00:39:04,050
I love you, too.
760
00:39:04,133 --> 00:39:05,430
I'm sorry.
761
00:39:05,510 --> 00:39:07,433
How are you?
Are you all right?
762
00:39:07,512 --> 00:39:10,516
I know it's a lot.
It's an adjustment.
763
00:39:10,598 --> 00:39:12,976
No, I'm fine.
I really am.
764
00:39:13,726 --> 00:39:15,319
You know what? I had a
really good time tonight.
765
00:39:15,895 --> 00:39:18,990
It was a fun party.
And I like all your friends.
766
00:39:19,941 --> 00:39:21,739
Did you meet Bill?
Yeah.
767
00:39:21,818 --> 00:39:24,992
Well, Bill is going
to take me hunting.
768
00:39:25,071 --> 00:39:26,118
Oh, yeah?
769
00:39:26,197 --> 00:39:28,620
Which I feel like is
something I'm made to do.
770
00:39:28,700 --> 00:39:30,043
(LAUGHING)
771
00:39:31,202 --> 00:39:33,045
So, yeah. Yeah.
That's good.
772
00:39:33,121 --> 00:39:35,874
You promise me you'd tell me if you
weren't feeling all right, and...
773
00:39:35,957 --> 00:39:38,801
Babe, you gotta stop asking me.
I really am fine.
774
00:39:38,877 --> 00:39:40,379
Okay.
I am.
775
00:39:41,462 --> 00:39:42,634
That snow looks nice.
776
00:39:43,965 --> 00:39:45,717
It's fine.
Yeah, looks fine.
777
00:39:45,800 --> 00:39:47,802
Do you want to roll around
with me in it and get weird?
778
00:39:47,886 --> 00:39:48,887
You mean, like...
779
00:39:48,970 --> 00:39:51,814
Yeah! No one's around.
Let's get into Michigan life.
780
00:39:53,808 --> 00:39:56,402
Okay, it sounds great, it does.
There is one issue.
781
00:39:56,477 --> 00:39:58,024
What?
It's very cold out.
782
00:39:58,104 --> 00:39:59,071
So what?
783
00:39:59,147 --> 00:40:01,400
My penis is going to look
super-small for a second.
784
00:40:01,482 --> 00:40:03,155
I've seen your penis
every single way.
785
00:40:03,818 --> 00:40:05,161
Not this small.
786
00:40:05,320 --> 00:40:07,072
Take your pants off.
Let's do it.
787
00:40:07,155 --> 00:40:08,657
It's going to look
like a baby's dick.
788
00:40:08,823 --> 00:40:10,120
Okay, you're ruining
the moment.
789
00:40:10,199 --> 00:40:11,496
I'm just going to
cut you off right now.
790
00:40:11,576 --> 00:40:12,702
(WHISPERING) Baby dick.
Okay.
791
00:40:13,494 --> 00:40:14,666
(WHOOPING)
792
00:40:15,747 --> 00:40:18,170
Come on, it's so nice! Fuck it.
793
00:40:18,458 --> 00:40:19,675
Do it!
(CHEERING) Ow!
794
00:40:20,418 --> 00:40:22,170
What? What?
My hip, my hip!
795
00:40:22,253 --> 00:40:23,254
Oh, my God.
796
00:40:23,338 --> 00:40:24,385
I landed on something.
797
00:40:24,464 --> 00:40:25,465
It's a fire hydrant.
798
00:40:25,548 --> 00:40:27,596
What the fuck is a fire
hydrant doing there?
799
00:40:27,675 --> 00:40:28,927
Poor old grandpa.
800
00:40:29,010 --> 00:40:30,057
Oh, God.
801
00:40:30,136 --> 00:40:31,388
Did I just say,
"My hip, my hip"?
802
00:40:31,471 --> 00:40:32,939
Yes, you did.
803
00:40:35,099 --> 00:40:36,476
Sorry, babe.
804
00:40:43,191 --> 00:40:44,443
(GUN FIRES)
805
00:40:46,527 --> 00:40:47,779
Oh, God.
806
00:40:48,112 --> 00:40:49,113
I shot him.
807
00:40:49,656 --> 00:40:51,033
Right in the brains.
808
00:40:53,034 --> 00:40:55,002
Welcome to your
manhood, Tom.
809
00:41:01,167 --> 00:41:02,168
BILL: Hey, you...
810
00:41:03,127 --> 00:41:04,879
You like my sweater?
811
00:41:05,546 --> 00:41:06,798
Yeah.
812
00:41:06,965 --> 00:41:07,966
I knitted it.
813
00:41:08,049 --> 00:41:10,643
Oh, cool. Awesome.
Yeah.
814
00:41:10,718 --> 00:41:14,268
My kids used to take these
really long, boring naps.
815
00:41:14,347 --> 00:41:18,318
And, for a while, I just stared at them.
But then I found knitting.
816
00:41:18,393 --> 00:41:21,272
I can knit you one if you want.
It's super-cozy.
817
00:41:21,354 --> 00:41:22,731
Here, feel it.
818
00:41:25,733 --> 00:41:29,078
Wow, that actually
is super-cozy.
819
00:41:29,237 --> 00:41:30,659
Yeah.
Yeah.
820
00:41:30,738 --> 00:41:35,084
See, I told you this place is awesome.
You just gotta settle into it.
821
00:41:35,493 --> 00:41:37,166
(THUNDER RUMBLING)
822
00:41:38,663 --> 00:41:39,789
(HONKING)
823
00:41:56,848 --> 00:42:00,273
Hello!
Look at her.
824
00:42:00,768 --> 00:42:02,395
Let me hold her.
825
00:42:02,478 --> 00:42:05,448
Careful, Violet. Mind her neck.
You did it.
826
00:42:07,692 --> 00:42:10,115
You're so clever.
827
00:42:11,279 --> 00:42:12,656
It's adorable.
828
00:42:12,739 --> 00:42:14,787
See, he calls it an "it."
829
00:42:15,867 --> 00:42:18,837
Dude, Clam Bar.
Booked for an entire month.
830
00:42:19,454 --> 00:42:21,047
You cannot get
a table for 30 days.
831
00:42:21,122 --> 00:42:23,625
Thank you so much for quitting, bro.
You made my career.
832
00:42:23,708 --> 00:42:26,336
Oh. Yeah, I did it alt
for you, buddy.
833
00:42:26,961 --> 00:42:28,884
Anyways, so how's Michigan?
834
00:42:29,464 --> 00:42:32,889
You know, it's a bit of an adjustment.
But, all in all, it's fine.
835
00:42:32,967 --> 00:42:34,219
Wow.
Sorry.
836
00:42:34,302 --> 00:42:36,304
Have you told her
how much you hate it?
837
00:42:36,387 --> 00:42:37,980
I don't hate it.
838
00:42:39,265 --> 00:42:41,188
A bit of Irish stoicism
never hurt anyone.
839
00:42:41,267 --> 00:42:44,487
Well, I think it hurt
a shitload of Irish people.
840
00:42:45,396 --> 00:42:48,240
Bro, you gotta be
honest with her, man.
841
00:42:48,316 --> 00:42:49,693
I am honest.
842
00:42:50,985 --> 00:42:52,032
No, you're not.
843
00:42:52,111 --> 00:42:53,203
You're not being
honest with me.
844
00:42:53,321 --> 00:42:54,447
You're not being
honest with her.
845
00:42:54,530 --> 00:42:55,747
Don't be a martyr.
846
00:42:55,823 --> 00:42:57,325
Trust me, dude.
847
00:42:57,408 --> 00:43:01,458
You need to be honest with this woman.
She's going to be your wife.
848
00:43:01,788 --> 00:43:04,462
Like me, for example, when Suzie
told me that she was pregnant,
849
00:43:04,540 --> 00:43:05,917
I was like,
850
00:43:07,001 --> 00:43:10,175
"There's no fucking way
you're keeping this baby."
851
00:43:10,671 --> 00:43:12,344
Because that's what I felt.
852
00:43:12,423 --> 00:43:15,723
I was like, "No.
It's not mine, I know it."
853
00:43:15,802 --> 00:43:17,600
Because I was being honest.
854
00:43:17,678 --> 00:43:19,680
I didn't get caught up on
how that would make her feel.
855
00:43:19,972 --> 00:43:21,770
You know,
I was just being myself.
856
00:43:21,849 --> 00:43:24,568
She, of course,
figured out later
857
00:43:24,644 --> 00:43:28,194
that that was just panic
and anger setting in.
858
00:43:28,606 --> 00:43:29,607
And now she knows
that about me.
859
00:43:29,690 --> 00:43:31,317
So, two weeks ago, when I
was trying to talk her into
860
00:43:31,400 --> 00:43:33,118
giving up
the baby for adoption,
861
00:43:33,194 --> 00:43:35,947
she's like, "Is this panic,
and is this anger?"
862
00:43:36,030 --> 00:43:38,874
And I was like,
"Oh, my God, it is.
863
00:43:39,367 --> 00:43:40,619
"Let's keep it."
864
00:43:40,701 --> 00:43:43,079
Let's just...
Let's go see your family.
865
00:43:49,836 --> 00:43:52,009
So, darling?
VIOLET: Mmm-hmm?
866
00:43:52,964 --> 00:43:56,138
Any ideas when this new
wedding might happen?
867
00:43:56,634 --> 00:43:59,228
Mmm. No...
I mean, not yet.
868
00:43:59,303 --> 00:44:00,896
Because, you know,
we've just moved
869
00:44:01,013 --> 00:44:02,606
and it's just a big
transition, and so...
870
00:44:02,682 --> 00:44:05,105
Look, it's never
going to be easy.
871
00:44:05,601 --> 00:44:09,231
I mean, you could delay forever.
Like you did with Gideon.
872
00:44:09,730 --> 00:44:11,732
You always need
things to be perfect.
873
00:44:11,816 --> 00:44:15,116
Mum, it's hardly the same, all right?
Gideon was a complete tool
874
00:44:15,194 --> 00:44:16,992
and so that's why I was
procrastinating as much as I did.
875
00:44:17,071 --> 00:44:18,414
What's the date?
876
00:44:18,531 --> 00:44:20,283
I don't know yet, Mum. You've
got to make a date, darling.
877
00:44:20,366 --> 00:44:21,333
I don't know yet,
Mum, and I will.
878
00:44:21,409 --> 00:44:23,537
Pick a date. Why is
that so difficult?
879
00:44:23,619 --> 00:44:24,666
It's not difficult.
880
00:44:24,745 --> 00:44:26,088
I'm just saying that
we've just got there
881
00:44:26,205 --> 00:44:27,548
and we're trying
to enjoy ourselves.
882
00:44:27,623 --> 00:44:28,624
Pick a date. Pick it,
pick it, pick it!
883
00:44:28,708 --> 00:44:31,336
Okay. I cannot think with you
yelling "Pick it" at me.
884
00:44:31,419 --> 00:44:32,420
Shh!
885
00:44:35,464 --> 00:44:36,761
You know why you're not sure?
886
00:44:37,466 --> 00:44:39,434
No. Because you've
never been sure.
887
00:44:39,510 --> 00:44:41,683
Okay, what I don't understand
is that you hated marriage.
888
00:44:42,013 --> 00:44:43,640
So why are you
forcing me into it?
889
00:44:44,307 --> 00:44:47,026
Well, well, well,
Miss Smarty-pants.
890
00:44:47,351 --> 00:44:49,854
For your information,
I did not hate marriage,
891
00:44:49,937 --> 00:44:51,564
I loved marriage.
892
00:44:52,440 --> 00:44:55,990
I loved your father, always.
I was happy.
893
00:44:56,444 --> 00:44:58,321
That's why I'm so
angry with him now.
894
00:44:58,821 --> 00:45:00,949
I was happy with
that idiot!
895
00:45:01,532 --> 00:45:03,330
I'm sorry I'm
not 23 years old.
896
00:45:03,451 --> 00:45:05,249
I'm sorry I'm
not made in China.
897
00:45:05,328 --> 00:45:07,626
I'm sorry I'm not
Miss Chew Chin Chow!
898
00:45:07,705 --> 00:45:08,752
(EXHALES)
899
00:45:08,915 --> 00:45:09,916
(GROANS)
900
00:45:10,208 --> 00:45:11,881
Now look what you've done.
901
00:45:12,293 --> 00:45:13,294
(SUZIE MOANS)
902
00:45:23,012 --> 00:45:26,391
Crazy about Alex
and the Clam Bar, right?
903
00:45:26,474 --> 00:45:27,600
Yeah.
904
00:45:28,559 --> 00:45:30,653
It's good, though.
You know, it really is.
905
00:45:30,728 --> 00:45:31,980
It's good for him.
906
00:45:32,063 --> 00:45:33,280
Are you okay about it?
907
00:45:33,356 --> 00:45:34,733
I'm fine.
908
00:45:39,904 --> 00:45:41,747
Um... So, you know
what I was thinking?
909
00:45:41,822 --> 00:45:43,995
I know that we're not
in any rush or anything,
910
00:45:44,075 --> 00:45:47,454
but do you think maybe we should
start planning this wedding?
911
00:45:47,578 --> 00:45:49,501
Yes! I was just thinking that.
Yeah?
912
00:45:49,580 --> 00:45:50,627
Okay. Great.
Yes.
913
00:45:50,706 --> 00:45:52,333
I'll take the lead this time.
No.
914
00:45:52,416 --> 00:45:55,260
Listen, you're super-busy.
I've got time to do it.
915
00:45:55,336 --> 00:45:57,589
You can just... Look, pitch
in when you can, but...
916
00:45:58,256 --> 00:45:59,382
Would you really do that?
917
00:45:59,465 --> 00:46:02,344
You did everything last time.
It's a two-way street.
918
00:46:02,426 --> 00:46:03,803
Thank you.
919
00:46:04,595 --> 00:46:05,972
Of course.
That's very kind.
920
00:46:06,055 --> 00:46:08,149
You're a very
good planner.
921
00:46:11,727 --> 00:46:14,150
I hope you like Legoland.
(CHUCKLING)
922
00:46:14,230 --> 00:46:15,777
Because that's where
it's going to be.
923
00:46:16,274 --> 00:46:17,651
(CHUCKLING)
924
00:46:19,527 --> 00:46:20,779
(SIGHING)
925
00:46:21,070 --> 00:46:22,037
I'm your giant man.
926
00:46:22,113 --> 00:46:24,115
YOU are my enormous man.
927
00:46:33,749 --> 00:46:36,298
Right, so who's
going to be our actor?
928
00:46:37,962 --> 00:46:40,806
Hmm? No, no, please, no.
I really don't want to do it.
929
00:46:40,881 --> 00:46:43,304
Come on, it's simple. You just
explain the personality test,
930
00:46:43,384 --> 00:46:44,601
then casually mention
931
00:46:44,677 --> 00:46:46,145
that the day-old donuts will
be replaced by fresh ones.
932
00:46:46,220 --> 00:46:47,312
No, I know what
I'm going to say.
933
00:46:47,638 --> 00:46:49,766
Anyone who takes an old donut has
got impulse control problems.
934
00:46:49,849 --> 00:46:51,146
No, I know, it's just...
I'm going to freeze up.
935
00:46:51,225 --> 00:46:52,226
You're going
to be great.
936
00:46:52,310 --> 00:46:54,062
People love you. You gotta do
it, it's gonna be so much fun.
937
00:46:54,145 --> 00:46:56,239
(ALL CHANTING) Violet.
Violet, Violet, Violet.
938
00:46:56,314 --> 00:46:57,566
Okay.
939
00:46:57,648 --> 00:46:58,865
WINTON: Go on.
Whoo!
940
00:46:59,275 --> 00:47:00,993
Violet, Violet.
941
00:47:02,653 --> 00:47:04,326
Hello, everybody.
942
00:47:04,905 --> 00:47:08,955
So, before you fill out
your personality tests,
943
00:47:09,035 --> 00:47:12,039
I just wanted to apologize
for the snacks.
944
00:47:13,581 --> 00:47:15,879
Those donuts are
from yesterday.
945
00:47:16,334 --> 00:47:21,215
And there will be fresh ones to replace
those ones in half of an hour.
946
00:47:21,505 --> 00:47:23,098
She's horrible.
947
00:47:24,759 --> 00:47:29,105
So, wait or dine,
the choice is yours. Bye.
948
00:47:29,680 --> 00:47:31,102
MING: She's really bad.
DOUG: She's really bad.
949
00:47:31,182 --> 00:47:32,934
WINTON: Be nice, be nice.
950
00:47:33,017 --> 00:47:34,519
Hey. There she is.
951
00:47:34,602 --> 00:47:35,603
No, no. I messed it up.
952
00:47:35,686 --> 00:47:36,983
A round of applause.
953
00:47:37,063 --> 00:47:38,110
(ALL CLAMORING)
954
00:47:38,189 --> 00:47:39,862
That was so good.
That was seamless.
955
00:47:39,940 --> 00:47:41,442
That was a good job.
956
00:47:42,234 --> 00:47:44,282
WOMAN: Hi, Professor.
Hey.
957
00:47:44,362 --> 00:47:47,115
So, I got the save-the-date.
Very exciting.
958
00:47:47,198 --> 00:47:48,666
Yes, it is.
959
00:47:49,367 --> 00:47:50,960
What is it?
960
00:47:51,035 --> 00:47:52,036
What do you mean?
961
00:47:52,119 --> 00:47:54,213
Well, you know, I just sensed
something in your voice.
962
00:47:54,288 --> 00:47:56,211
Oh, no.
I don't think so.
963
00:47:56,290 --> 00:47:57,542
Really?
964
00:47:58,000 --> 00:48:00,549
No, I...
Well, I mean...
965
00:48:01,379 --> 00:48:03,802
Oh, sorry, look, it's none of my business.
I shouldn't intrude.
966
00:48:03,881 --> 00:48:05,724
You know, it's your and Tom's thing.
I understand.
967
00:48:06,008 --> 00:48:06,975
Really.
968
00:48:07,051 --> 00:48:08,428
I mean,
it's not a secret.
969
00:48:08,511 --> 00:48:11,981
It's just that... I think I just
wish Tom were happier here.
970
00:48:12,056 --> 00:48:13,228
Has he told you
he's unhappy?
971
00:48:13,307 --> 00:48:14,604
No, but I can tell.
972
00:48:15,351 --> 00:48:17,820
Listen, I think
Tom is fantastic.
973
00:48:17,895 --> 00:48:21,069
But you mustn't let his
situation make you feel guilty.
974
00:48:21,148 --> 00:48:23,150
You've worked hard
to get here. Okay?
975
00:48:23,401 --> 00:48:25,495
You're on the verge,
you know?
976
00:48:25,569 --> 00:48:27,071
It's okay to be selfish.
977
00:48:27,154 --> 00:48:30,499
You're a good person, a very good
person, and Tom will be fine.
978
00:48:30,574 --> 00:48:32,326
Tom is all right.
Tom will understand.
979
00:48:32,410 --> 00:48:34,412
Yeah. Right.
980
00:48:34,495 --> 00:48:36,338
Hey, Professor.
Hey, Ashley.
981
00:48:36,414 --> 00:48:37,711
God, you know
everyone here.
982
00:48:37,790 --> 00:48:39,007
Well, most of the girls
are called Ashley
983
00:48:39,083 --> 00:48:41,836
and most of the guys are called
Zack, so I play the odds.
984
00:48:41,919 --> 00:48:43,421
MAN: Hey, Professor.
985
00:48:43,504 --> 00:48:45,882
Hey, Zack. How's Ashley?
986
00:48:47,258 --> 00:48:48,350
(CHUCKLING)
987
00:48:48,426 --> 00:48:49,552
see?
988
00:48:49,927 --> 00:48:52,100
And now if you'll excuse me,
I'm late for tae kwon do.
989
00:48:52,179 --> 00:48:53,271
Okay.
(MIMICS PUNCHING)
990
00:48:53,431 --> 00:48:54,774
(LAUGHING)
991
00:48:59,103 --> 00:49:01,071
TOM: French vanilla
with coconut custard?
992
00:49:01,147 --> 00:49:03,275
I mean, who thinks of that?
Some sort of genius.
993
00:49:03,357 --> 00:49:04,779
With or without
the fruit compote?
994
00:49:05,276 --> 00:49:06,528
You're going to want
the fruit compote.
995
00:49:06,610 --> 00:49:09,534
So, you guys have,
kind of, had a lot.
996
00:49:09,613 --> 00:49:11,206
TOM: This cake is so good.
997
00:49:11,282 --> 00:49:13,000
Cake testing is the best.
998
00:49:13,075 --> 00:49:16,545
I know, I don't know why girls get
so tense about all this planning.
999
00:49:16,620 --> 00:49:17,792
It's fun!
1000
00:49:19,206 --> 00:49:20,753
Oh, my God.
1001
00:49:22,209 --> 00:49:23,961
You look so handsome.
1002
00:49:25,921 --> 00:49:29,892
Maybe I should, like,
just try on a regular tuxedo.
1003
00:49:30,426 --> 00:49:32,554
Yeah, of course.
Of course.
1004
00:49:33,095 --> 00:49:35,644
I feel like Bigfoot
would get married in this.
1005
00:49:40,436 --> 00:49:42,404
(ROMANTIC MUSIC PLAYING)
1006
00:49:51,822 --> 00:49:53,620
God, I want a donut.
1007
00:49:58,412 --> 00:50:00,915
You know, that's not
really a mirror.
1008
00:50:00,998 --> 00:50:03,092
It's like, five nerds
back there, taking notes.
1009
00:50:04,668 --> 00:50:05,794
What's up, nerds?
1010
00:50:07,671 --> 00:50:09,173
These donuts suck.
1011
00:50:11,425 --> 00:50:12,847
What about
the white peonies?
1012
00:50:13,385 --> 00:50:15,387
Oh. Do you like
white peonies?
1013
00:50:16,555 --> 00:50:17,602
Yeah.
1014
00:50:17,681 --> 00:50:19,900
TOM: I've always heard, though, that,
I don't know if you have them,
1015
00:50:19,975 --> 00:50:21,852
but black peonies
are much bigger.
1016
00:50:21,936 --> 00:50:22,937
I've heard that, too.
1017
00:50:23,020 --> 00:50:25,364
Oh, really?
Oh, I hadn't heard that.
1018
00:50:25,439 --> 00:50:27,862
Oh! So you haven't
seen a black peonies?
1019
00:50:27,942 --> 00:50:29,194
No, I never have.
1020
00:50:29,276 --> 00:50:32,371
Hey, have you ever had a white
penis up your butt? (SNICKERS)
1021
00:50:33,864 --> 00:50:35,286
(SCOFFS) Bill.
1022
00:50:35,366 --> 00:50:36,959
VIOLET: Okay, I'm not
acting anymore.
1023
00:50:37,034 --> 00:50:38,707
I don't like it.
I'm not doing it again.
1024
00:50:38,786 --> 00:50:39,878
Please let me do it.
1025
00:50:39,954 --> 00:50:42,628
No, no way.
You like it too much.
1026
00:50:42,706 --> 00:50:43,958
Ming.
(SIGHING)
1027
00:50:44,041 --> 00:50:45,167
God damn it!
Go on.
1028
00:50:48,837 --> 00:50:49,963
How come nobody
ever asks me?
1029
00:50:50,047 --> 00:50:52,721
Because you'll make
the whole room masturbate.
1030
00:50:53,884 --> 00:50:55,386
(BOTH LAUGHING)
1031
00:51:03,894 --> 00:51:05,817
Hmm. Impressive.
1032
00:51:05,896 --> 00:51:10,276
It is very interesting that there was
that 25% correlation in both groups
1033
00:51:10,359 --> 00:51:12,828
in that subjects who had a
history of life disruption
1034
00:51:12,903 --> 00:51:14,280
also ate the stale donuts.
1035
00:51:14,363 --> 00:51:15,410
It would be things like
1036
00:51:15,656 --> 00:51:18,000
job loss, divorce,
trouble with the law,
1037
00:51:18,075 --> 00:51:20,328
multiple partners,
that kind of thing.
1038
00:51:20,411 --> 00:51:22,755
I mean, in short,
I would say that
1039
00:51:22,830 --> 00:51:24,924
the people who ate the stale
donuts were essentially...
1040
00:51:24,999 --> 00:51:26,171
Screw-ups.
1041
00:51:26,250 --> 00:51:28,344
Well, yeah, I didn't
want to say, but...
1042
00:51:28,419 --> 00:51:29,887
WINTON: Well, Violet,
congratulations.
1043
00:51:29,962 --> 00:51:31,635
And your timing couldn't
have been more perfect.
1044
00:51:31,714 --> 00:51:33,808
We've just got
the NIH funding.
1045
00:51:33,882 --> 00:51:36,681
Of course, partially due
to your excellent work.
1046
00:51:36,760 --> 00:51:40,264
And this means I can
extend your postdoc.
1047
00:51:40,347 --> 00:51:41,690
Really?
1048
00:51:41,765 --> 00:51:44,143
Which means you're going to be
with us for a few more years.
1049
00:51:44,226 --> 00:51:47,605
Wow, that is fantastic.
Thank you.
1050
00:51:47,688 --> 00:51:49,656
No, thank you, Violet.
1051
00:51:50,190 --> 00:51:52,943
Yeah. I can't wait
to tell Tom.
1052
00:52:01,619 --> 00:52:03,417
TOM: Hey!
Hey!
1053
00:52:03,495 --> 00:52:06,795
Can I show you three options
for our invitation card stock?
1054
00:52:06,874 --> 00:52:07,875
You sure can.
1055
00:52:07,958 --> 00:52:11,383
I'm super excited.
Okay, we have got the...
1056
00:52:11,462 --> 00:52:12,679
I love you.
1057
00:52:13,547 --> 00:52:15,220
Aw! I love you, too.
I do.
1058
00:52:15,799 --> 00:52:18,143
Something crazy
happened today.
1059
00:52:19,386 --> 00:52:22,936
Winton called me into the
office and hinted that
1060
00:52:23,807 --> 00:52:27,152
they might be
extending my postdoc.
1061
00:52:31,482 --> 00:52:34,656
So, what does that mean
for us, exactly? Um...
1062
00:52:35,444 --> 00:52:37,867
I think what it
probably means is that
1063
00:52:37,946 --> 00:52:40,745
we would stay here just for
a little bit and then...
1064
00:52:40,824 --> 00:52:42,918
Would you like
some of this wine?
1065
00:52:42,993 --> 00:52:44,620
Nope.
No? Okay.
1066
00:52:44,828 --> 00:52:49,709
Um, I think the first phase
would be a few years,
1067
00:52:49,792 --> 00:52:52,545
and then, potentially,
if that went well,
1068
00:52:53,629 --> 00:52:54,846
for longer.
1069
00:52:55,130 --> 00:52:56,677
It sounds like
we're staying.
1070
00:53:18,112 --> 00:53:24,290
Look, I know our plans changed, but
they changed because I did well,
1071
00:53:25,035 --> 00:53:26,912
and I know it doesn't
feel like that to you,
1072
00:53:26,995 --> 00:53:29,999
but maybe it's a good
thing that they changed.
1073
00:53:32,292 --> 00:53:33,635
For you.
1074
00:53:34,628 --> 00:53:36,380
Yes, for me, but...
1075
00:53:38,716 --> 00:53:41,765
I've just worked so hard
for my whole life for this.
1076
00:53:41,844 --> 00:53:44,347
I feel like I'm
on the verge, babe.
1077
00:53:48,308 --> 00:53:51,061
And maybe it's okay
for me to be selfish.
1078
00:53:52,396 --> 00:53:54,569
Well, if it's okay
for you to be selfish,
1079
00:53:54,857 --> 00:53:57,827
I guess everyone else can just
figure it out on their own.
1080
00:53:57,901 --> 00:53:59,073
Okay, that came out wrong.
1081
00:53:59,153 --> 00:54:00,245
That came out wrong.
1082
00:54:00,320 --> 00:54:01,697
No, I think you said
exactly what you meant.
1083
00:54:02,406 --> 00:54:05,910
Academia's my life, Tom. I guess
you just don't understand.
1084
00:54:06,493 --> 00:54:08,837
(SIGHING) Can I
tell you something?
1085
00:54:08,912 --> 00:54:11,461
It makes me
feel like shit
1086
00:54:11,540 --> 00:54:13,668
when you tell me I don't
understand things.
1087
00:54:13,751 --> 00:54:15,549
Okay. No, listen, I
have news for you.
1088
00:54:15,627 --> 00:54:17,345
I do understand.
1089
00:54:17,421 --> 00:54:19,594
I understand everything,
I just don't like it.
1090
00:54:20,090 --> 00:54:22,092
Well, I'm sorry.
You're right.
1091
00:54:22,593 --> 00:54:23,845
It's just not nice.
Okay, look.
1092
00:54:23,927 --> 00:54:26,225
I'm very excited about
what happened today.
1093
00:54:26,305 --> 00:54:28,057
Do you want
to know something?
1094
00:54:28,140 --> 00:54:31,064
As soon as I heard the news, I felt
instantly terrified to tell you.
1095
00:54:31,685 --> 00:54:33,187
Now, there's something
wrong with that,
1096
00:54:33,270 --> 00:54:35,989
that I feel like you
can't share in this with me.
1097
00:54:36,064 --> 00:54:37,065
Even a little.
1098
00:54:38,275 --> 00:54:40,118
I'm happy for you.
1099
00:54:41,278 --> 00:54:44,157
(UNENTHUSIASTICALLY)
Yay! We get to stay here!
1100
00:54:44,239 --> 00:54:45,206
You're being a prick.
1101
00:54:45,282 --> 00:54:46,374
Then I'll just try
to be happy, too.
1102
00:54:46,450 --> 00:54:47,702
That's not being
happy for me.
1103
00:54:47,785 --> 00:54:48,786
I want you to be happy.
1104
00:54:48,869 --> 00:54:50,041
That's not being
happy for me.
1105
00:54:50,120 --> 00:54:51,372
That is martyring yourself
1106
00:54:51,455 --> 00:54:54,925
and then blaming me for your
perceived lack of success.
1107
00:54:55,793 --> 00:54:56,794
Now...
1108
00:54:57,586 --> 00:54:58,678
Now I have
a lack of success?
1109
00:54:58,796 --> 00:55:00,890
Well, I don't think you do. I
have a lack of success now?
1110
00:55:00,964 --> 00:55:04,309
But you clearly think you do
and that's the problem.
1111
00:55:04,968 --> 00:55:07,847
The fact remains, Tom, that
you work at a cool place,
1112
00:55:07,930 --> 00:55:09,898
but you refuse
to see it as that.
1113
00:55:09,973 --> 00:55:12,567
I ran a kitchen
in San Francisco,
1114
00:55:12,643 --> 00:55:13,735
Okay
okay?
1115
00:55:13,811 --> 00:55:15,563
And you have
no idea how it feels
1116
00:55:15,646 --> 00:55:17,398
to be the guy
in a relationship
1117
00:55:17,481 --> 00:55:19,199
and not have a job
that you're proud of.
1118
00:55:19,274 --> 00:55:20,400
It's embarrassing.
1119
00:55:20,484 --> 00:55:22,407
Why haven't we once
talked about the fact
1120
00:55:22,486 --> 00:55:24,363
that you are upset that
you're not running Clam Bar?
1121
00:55:24,446 --> 00:55:26,198
You never talk about it.
1122
00:55:26,281 --> 00:55:28,329
Because I'm a man, and men
and women are different.
1123
00:55:28,408 --> 00:55:30,661
(MOCKINGLY) We don't have to sit
around and talk about our feelings.
1124
00:55:33,163 --> 00:55:34,710
What?
There's nothing to say!
1125
00:55:34,790 --> 00:55:37,714
You say, "I'm upset," Tom!
You say it!
1126
00:55:37,793 --> 00:55:38,794
Fine! You want
to talk about it?
1127
00:55:38,877 --> 00:55:40,220
Yes!
I hate it here!
1128
00:55:40,295 --> 00:55:41,717
Thank you!
I hate it here!
1129
00:55:41,797 --> 00:55:43,470
Thank you for...
I think it sucks here!
1130
00:55:43,590 --> 00:55:45,388
I think it sucks my fucking dick!
Great.
1131
00:55:45,467 --> 00:55:46,514
Good for you.
1132
00:55:46,593 --> 00:55:47,594
I hate it!
I hate it here!
1133
00:55:47,678 --> 00:55:50,397
Okay, okay, okay,
but now we move forward.
1134
00:55:50,472 --> 00:55:51,894
Now what should we do?
1135
00:55:51,974 --> 00:55:54,068
Would you like to
open up a Clam Bar here?
1136
00:55:59,690 --> 00:56:03,035
You can't get
fresh clams here.
1137
00:56:05,237 --> 00:56:07,365
(EXHALING DEEPLY)
I meant it as a metaphor.
1138
00:56:08,657 --> 00:56:10,159
(MIMICKING VIOLET EXHALING)
1139
00:56:15,706 --> 00:56:17,879
You know what?
This is all very confusing.
1140
00:56:18,041 --> 00:56:21,762
And I'm clearly overwhelmed
And I've gotta be honest,
1141
00:56:21,837 --> 00:56:25,137
I think the best thing would be for
me to just be alone right now,
1142
00:56:25,215 --> 00:56:26,432
so that I can think.
1143
00:56:26,508 --> 00:56:27,634
Okay.
1144
00:56:28,385 --> 00:56:31,309
I'll just give you
some time then, shall I?
1145
00:56:31,638 --> 00:56:33,185
Well, don't go.
I mean...
1146
00:56:35,017 --> 00:56:36,769
I need you here.
1147
00:56:38,896 --> 00:56:41,240
What do you mean? You just
told me you needed time alone.
1148
00:56:41,315 --> 00:56:43,488
What do you want? I don't
know what you want.
1149
00:56:44,735 --> 00:56:46,282
I don't want you to go.
Okay.
1150
00:56:46,361 --> 00:56:48,329
I just want to be
alone with you here.
1151
00:56:51,825 --> 00:56:53,452
Can you at least lay down? Okay.
1152
00:56:53,535 --> 00:56:55,162
Like a normal
human being?
1153
00:56:58,707 --> 00:56:59,833
Do you want me just to be...
I want...
1154
00:56:59,917 --> 00:57:01,590
Okay.
I'm trying to be alone.
1155
00:57:01,668 --> 00:57:02,840
Yeah.
1156
00:57:07,215 --> 00:57:08,467
(SIGHS)
1157
00:57:15,766 --> 00:57:16,767
I'm sorry.
1158
00:57:26,151 --> 00:57:27,277
I'm sorry, too.
1159
00:57:55,889 --> 00:58:00,269
I know that things are really
complicated right now, babe.
1160
00:58:01,103 --> 00:58:03,697
I just want us
both to be happy.
1161
00:58:05,190 --> 00:58:07,568
Do you think
we could do that here?
1162
00:58:14,282 --> 00:58:15,283
No.
1163
00:58:43,812 --> 00:58:47,817
TOM: One, two, dinner.
1164
00:58:49,151 --> 00:58:50,277
Damn it!
1165
00:58:50,986 --> 00:58:51,987
I missed.
1166
00:59:04,207 --> 00:59:05,754
Is it 7:00 a.m. yet?
1167
00:59:05,834 --> 00:59:07,461
It is somewhere.
(CHUCKLES)
1168
00:59:15,218 --> 00:59:16,435
VIOLET: Cheers, everyone!
1169
00:59:16,511 --> 00:59:18,229
Cheers!
Thanks for coming.
1170
00:59:18,305 --> 00:59:20,603
It's so good to
see you guys, really.
1171
00:59:20,682 --> 00:59:23,401
Yeah. Yes, you guys, too.
1172
00:59:23,477 --> 00:59:27,448
So, here we've got some venison meat pie.
SUZIE: Mmm-hmm.
1173
00:59:27,522 --> 00:59:29,866
And in the far corner
we have some venison marrow.
1174
00:59:30,650 --> 00:59:33,620
And here we have some
forest-foraged vegetables,
1175
00:59:33,695 --> 00:59:37,074
which I foraged myself.
So, enjoy.
1176
00:59:37,157 --> 00:59:38,158
Mmm!
SUZIE: Yeah.
1177
00:59:38,241 --> 00:59:40,960
And, honestly, eat as
much as you guys want.
1178
00:59:41,036 --> 00:59:43,289
I have three deer
hanging in the garage.
1179
00:59:43,371 --> 00:59:45,590
So, there's plenty
of meat to go around.
1180
00:59:45,665 --> 00:59:47,212
Wow.
1181
00:59:47,292 --> 00:59:48,635
TOM: Oh, my gosh,
how rude of me.
1182
00:59:48,710 --> 00:59:50,383
Can I get anyone
some more mead?
1183
00:59:51,171 --> 00:59:52,639
I've been collecting
the honey myself.
1184
00:59:52,714 --> 00:59:55,593
Tom has become something
of an amateur beekeeper.
1185
00:59:56,384 --> 01:00:00,230
It's just at the right stage of fermentation.
(SNIFFS) Here you go.
1186
01:00:05,227 --> 01:00:06,900
Drink as much
as you like.
1187
01:00:08,271 --> 01:00:11,741
I feel like I'm drinking
out of Chewbacca's dick.
1188
01:00:16,113 --> 01:00:17,911
Oh, wow.
1189
01:00:19,241 --> 01:00:20,788
That's just honey, huh?
1190
01:00:20,867 --> 01:00:23,586
That's really...
It's hurting my teeth.
1191
01:00:26,623 --> 01:00:27,715
So, we're having a boy.
1192
01:00:27,791 --> 01:00:30,135
Oh, my God!
Yeah!
1193
01:00:30,210 --> 01:00:31,678
Congratulations!
Yeah! Thank you!
1194
01:00:31,753 --> 01:00:33,096
That is amazing news.
One of each.
1195
01:00:33,088 --> 01:00:35,261
A little prince. One of each,
so we're done, that's it.
1196
01:00:35,382 --> 01:00:36,804
Oh, I knew it!
SUZIE: So great.
1197
01:00:36,800 --> 01:00:39,553
You were boobing out when you came in.
SUZIE: Yeah.
1198
01:00:39,636 --> 01:00:40,637
Yeah.
1199
01:00:40,720 --> 01:00:42,222
That is so exciting
for you guys.
1200
01:00:42,305 --> 01:00:43,773
I couldn't be
happier for you guys.
1201
01:00:43,849 --> 01:00:44,850
Thank you.
1202
01:00:44,933 --> 01:00:47,311
I'm not sure that I ever
want to have kids.
1203
01:00:48,603 --> 01:00:49,775
What is it?
1204
01:00:50,438 --> 01:00:53,942
I thought you had always wanted kids.
That's silly.
1205
01:00:54,442 --> 01:00:58,037
You know, sometimes the biggest
balls are the ones left unused.
1206
01:00:58,113 --> 01:00:59,114
(CHUCKLES)
1207
01:01:01,116 --> 01:01:02,618
What the fuck
did you just say?
1208
01:01:03,410 --> 01:01:05,287
I don't know.
It's an expression.
1209
01:01:06,246 --> 01:01:08,624
Do you know what?
I have an idea.
1210
01:01:09,082 --> 01:01:11,380
Tom and I are going to take
care of Vanessa tonight.
1211
01:01:11,459 --> 01:01:12,460
You two are
going to go out.
1212
01:01:12,544 --> 01:01:14,888
And I will prove to you
how fun children are, okay?
1213
01:01:14,963 --> 01:01:17,057
Yes. Mmm-hmm.
1214
01:01:17,465 --> 01:01:19,388
Yeah, I don't want
Vanessa to take part
1215
01:01:19,467 --> 01:01:20,593
in one of her psychological
experiments.
1216
01:01:20,677 --> 01:01:22,270
It's not an experiment.
SUZIE: I'm fine with it.
1217
01:01:22,345 --> 01:01:24,894
Yes, I am fine doing that.
I need a night out.
1218
01:01:24,973 --> 01:01:26,395
You know what, we'll talk
about it and get back to you.
1219
01:01:26,474 --> 01:01:27,475
Done, done.
It's done. Come on.
1220
01:01:27,559 --> 01:01:28,856
SUZIE: Honey.
Honey?
1221
01:01:28,935 --> 01:01:31,108
(WHISPERING) Alex, I do.
You don't understand.
1222
01:01:31,229 --> 01:01:32,446
Honey, come on. SUZIE: I
think we're doing it.
1223
01:01:32,522 --> 01:01:34,115
He looks like a drifter.
1224
01:01:34,191 --> 01:01:35,738
SUZIE: I don't care
if he's a psycho.
1225
01:01:35,817 --> 01:01:38,115
You go out every night!
I need this.
1226
01:01:38,195 --> 01:01:39,287
Look at him.
SUZIE: I never go out.
1227
01:01:39,362 --> 01:01:40,579
I can hear you.
1228
01:01:40,655 --> 01:01:42,453
SUZIE: Do this for me.
Do this for me.
1229
01:01:42,532 --> 01:01:44,705
When we come back, she'll be
hanging on a hook in the garage.
1230
01:01:44,784 --> 01:01:46,252
SUZIE: Come on. No.
ALEX: I'm telling you.
1231
01:01:46,328 --> 01:01:47,454
SUZIE: We're doing it tonight.
Do this for me.
1232
01:01:47,537 --> 01:01:49,710
Well, it's decided,
we're going out!
1233
01:01:49,789 --> 01:01:50,836
All right!
All right.
1234
01:01:50,916 --> 01:01:52,133
SUZIE: We're doing it. Yeah.
1235
01:01:52,209 --> 01:01:53,210
It's going to be fun.
1236
01:01:53,376 --> 01:01:55,299
Put it on the other side.
1237
01:01:55,378 --> 01:01:57,756
Like that? Should we try to
make another set of steps?
1238
01:01:57,839 --> 01:01:58,806
I gotta go and pee.
1239
01:01:58,924 --> 01:02:00,847
Can you just watch her for one second?
Yeah, yeah. Of course.
1240
01:02:00,926 --> 01:02:02,178
Okay.
1241
01:02:04,846 --> 01:02:07,065
How did this
go in together?
1242
01:02:07,140 --> 01:02:09,768
TOM: I don't know, but it kind of
looks like a train, doesn't it?
1243
01:02:09,851 --> 01:02:12,024
I'm going to
put this one here.
1244
01:02:12,854 --> 01:02:14,527
This is all I need.
1245
01:02:14,814 --> 01:02:15,986
Totally.
1246
01:02:23,073 --> 01:02:24,165
(LAUGHING)
1247
01:02:25,533 --> 01:02:26,534
Tom, where's Vanessa?
1248
01:02:26,618 --> 01:02:28,120
Babe, you have
got to see this.
1249
01:02:28,203 --> 01:02:29,671
Tom, where's Vanessa?
What?
1250
01:02:29,746 --> 01:02:30,838
Where is she?
1251
01:02:32,374 --> 01:02:33,466
You have to keep
an eye on her.
1252
01:02:33,541 --> 01:02:34,588
She was literally
just right here.
1253
01:02:34,668 --> 01:02:36,762
Okay, but you got to
keep an eye, you know?
1254
01:02:36,878 --> 01:02:38,505
Okay, I'm sure she's right around here.
Vanessa?
1255
01:02:38,588 --> 01:02:41,307
Vanessa? Vanessa,
where are you?
1256
01:02:41,383 --> 01:02:42,851
Oh, my God, Tom!
1257
01:02:42,926 --> 01:02:44,269
What are you
talking about? Whoa.
1258
01:02:44,344 --> 01:02:47,143
What is your crossbow
doing on the kitchen table?
1259
01:02:47,222 --> 01:02:48,644
A crossbow doesn't
clean itself, you know.
1260
01:02:48,723 --> 01:02:50,350
What is it doing there?
1261
01:02:50,433 --> 01:02:52,026
Hey.
Yeah.
1262
01:02:52,102 --> 01:02:54,605
Why don't you... Why don't we
come back out here and play?
1263
01:02:55,355 --> 01:02:56,447
No. I'm Pocahontas.
1264
01:02:57,274 --> 01:03:00,198
(BOTH SCREAMING)
VIOLET: Oh, my God!
1265
01:03:01,861 --> 01:03:03,238
Oh, my God!
1266
01:03:03,363 --> 01:03:04,785
All right,
just get to the...
1267
01:03:04,864 --> 01:03:07,617
Oh, my God, it's in my leg!
Oh, my God, it's in my leg!
1268
01:03:07,701 --> 01:03:08,668
Oh, my God!
1269
01:03:08,743 --> 01:03:09,790
(SCREAMING)
Stay calm! Stay calm!
1270
01:03:09,869 --> 01:03:10,836
Get it out!
Get it out of my leg!
1271
01:03:10,912 --> 01:03:11,913
Get it out of my leg!
Okay! Okay!
1272
01:03:12,247 --> 01:03:13,339
I'm gonna pull it out!
1273
01:03:13,456 --> 01:03:14,548
No, no, no,
don't pull it out!
1274
01:03:14,624 --> 01:03:15,625
That'll ruin the meat.
1275
01:03:15,709 --> 01:03:17,131
It's not meat,
it's my leg!
1276
01:03:17,210 --> 01:03:18,553
I got it! Stay calm!
Get it out!
1277
01:03:18,795 --> 01:03:20,047
(SCREAMING)
1278
01:03:21,548 --> 01:03:22,891
That's really in there.
Oh, shit.
1279
01:03:24,050 --> 01:03:25,802
Oh, my God!
1280
01:03:26,219 --> 01:03:27,516
My God.
Ugh!
1281
01:03:27,595 --> 01:03:28,642
Just put pressure on it.
1282
01:03:28,722 --> 01:03:29,723
What happened?
1283
01:03:29,806 --> 01:03:31,774
She shot me
with a crossbow.
1284
01:03:32,892 --> 01:03:34,018
What?
1285
01:03:34,811 --> 01:03:36,905
I want to punch you in the face right now.
Do you understand that?
1286
01:03:36,980 --> 01:03:38,277
I think we should
all just...
1287
01:03:38,356 --> 01:03:40,279
My sister had an arrow
in her leg tonight, Tom!
1288
01:03:40,358 --> 01:03:42,531
It's not an arrow,
it's a bolt.
1289
01:03:42,610 --> 01:03:46,160
ALEX: Well, I guess we were totally wrong!
It's a bolt!
1290
01:03:46,239 --> 01:03:48,333
Oh, you're right. You know what,
we're in the wrong, here.
1291
01:03:48,408 --> 01:03:52,038
My daughter didn't just witness
herself nearly murdering her aunt!
1292
01:03:52,120 --> 01:03:53,667
There was blood
all over the place!
1293
01:03:53,747 --> 01:03:56,796
She's up there freaking out right now!
She shit her pants!
1294
01:03:57,417 --> 01:03:59,840
She hasn't shit her pants
in two or three months
1295
01:03:59,919 --> 01:04:01,796
and now she's up there,
shitting her pants!
1296
01:04:01,880 --> 01:04:04,929
She feels responsible for
injuring her aunt, who she loves!
1297
01:04:05,091 --> 01:04:07,389
You understand what
that does to a kid?
1298
01:04:07,469 --> 01:04:09,938
You don't! And you don't even give...
You don't care.
1299
01:04:10,388 --> 01:04:11,765
It's a good thing you don't
want to be a father,
1300
01:04:11,848 --> 01:04:13,316
because you'd be
a terrible father.
1301
01:04:13,767 --> 01:04:17,817
And I don't like this. I don't
like this new "Lamb Chop" Tom!
1302
01:04:18,813 --> 01:04:21,942
You lost it, bro. Tether's
cut, you're in orbit.
1303
01:04:22,442 --> 01:04:24,069
You're out there.
1304
01:04:24,986 --> 01:04:27,205
God! I'm so sorry!
1305
01:04:28,281 --> 01:04:31,125
I'm sorry, but please
don't be so upset.
1306
01:04:31,618 --> 01:04:32,961
At least nobody died.
1307
01:04:39,250 --> 01:04:41,378
PRIEST: And Grandpa Baba's
last words were,
1308
01:04:41,461 --> 01:04:43,589
"I can't wait until
Violet's wedding."
1309
01:04:53,598 --> 01:04:55,521
Okay, babe, I gotta go.
I'm really late.
1310
01:04:55,600 --> 01:04:58,524
Okay. Mmm. Donuts. Are
you going to eat these?
1311
01:04:58,603 --> 01:05:00,105
No, but those are old.
1312
01:05:00,188 --> 01:05:02,031
And if you want to
just wait for a minute,
1313
01:05:02,107 --> 01:05:03,859
I'll be back with
some fresh ones.
1314
01:05:04,818 --> 01:05:05,944
Mmm!
1315
01:05:08,488 --> 01:05:11,662
These are fine. I didn't
have to wait at all.
1316
01:05:14,494 --> 01:05:16,167
Are you going
to get dressed today?
1317
01:05:16,996 --> 01:05:19,124
I think today is
more of a bunny day.
1318
01:05:19,499 --> 01:05:20,671
Yeah.
1319
01:05:24,754 --> 01:05:26,552
(PEOPLE TOASTING LOUDLY)
1320
01:05:31,469 --> 01:05:33,221
I have to say something.
I have to say something.
1321
01:05:33,304 --> 01:05:35,648
I just have to be, just for real.
I love you guys.
1322
01:05:35,723 --> 01:05:37,475
ALL: Aw!
I love you guys.
1323
01:05:37,559 --> 01:05:40,108
This is a fucking great
department, all of you guys.
1324
01:05:40,186 --> 01:05:42,439
You guys are
the best co-workers.
1325
01:05:42,522 --> 01:05:45,901
Except Ming, I don't know. I
just don't think you respect me.
1326
01:05:45,984 --> 01:05:48,282
I don't think that
you've ever respected me.
1327
01:05:48,361 --> 01:05:50,238
And I'm just not feeling it,
and I had to be honest.
1328
01:05:50,321 --> 01:05:52,699
But to everyone else, to us!
VIOLET: Yeah!
1329
01:05:53,658 --> 01:05:54,705
Whoo!
1330
01:05:55,201 --> 01:05:56,327
To everyone except Ming.
1331
01:05:56,411 --> 01:05:57,958
DOUG: Except for Ming.
VIOLET: Sorry, Ming.
1332
01:05:58,037 --> 01:05:59,084
DOUG: Oh, wow.
1333
01:05:59,164 --> 01:06:02,509
I want to give a toast.
I love all of you so much.
1334
01:06:03,168 --> 01:06:06,638
You're my best friends. The best
friends anybody could ever ask for.
1335
01:06:06,713 --> 01:06:10,013
Except for you, Vaneetha.
I don't like you.
1336
01:06:10,091 --> 01:06:12,685
I don't like you.
You're a bitch.
1337
01:06:12,760 --> 01:06:15,479
But I love all
of you so much!
1338
01:06:16,181 --> 01:06:17,728
I love all of you.
1339
01:06:18,349 --> 01:06:19,475
You're the best!
DOUG: All right.
1340
01:06:19,559 --> 01:06:22,062
Except for Vaneetha,
you're the best!
1341
01:06:22,562 --> 01:06:23,779
Calm down, Ming.
1342
01:06:23,938 --> 01:06:25,190
She's a bitch.
1343
01:06:25,440 --> 01:06:26,657
(MING LAUGHING)
1344
01:06:26,858 --> 01:06:28,326
(ALARM RINGING)
1345
01:06:43,374 --> 01:06:45,001
Listen, what
I want to know is,
1346
01:06:45,084 --> 01:06:48,338
why are professors in movies
always writing stuff,
1347
01:06:48,421 --> 01:06:50,173
equations and stuff,
on windows?
1348
01:06:50,256 --> 01:06:51,508
I don't know.
I don't get it.
1349
01:06:51,591 --> 01:06:52,843
I don't get it, either.
I don't understand it.
1350
01:06:52,926 --> 01:06:55,520
I don't get the fact that my
fiancé behaves like a freak.
1351
01:06:55,595 --> 01:06:57,848
These are not
things that I know.
1352
01:06:57,931 --> 01:07:00,730
I mean, surely, you know,
in a university
1353
01:07:00,808 --> 01:07:03,903
you wouldn't be far
from a pen and paper,
1354
01:07:03,978 --> 01:07:06,527
or a computer,
or an overhead projector...
1355
01:07:06,606 --> 01:07:08,449
I feel like you're
not listening to me.
1356
01:07:08,525 --> 01:07:09,868
I feel like
you're not listening.
1357
01:07:09,943 --> 01:07:14,540
I'm trying to offload and
tell you my issues with Tom.
1358
01:07:14,614 --> 01:07:17,333
Oh, shut up, will you?
Put a sock in it.
1359
01:07:17,408 --> 01:07:20,537
Why? I'm coming
to you as a friend.
1360
01:07:20,620 --> 01:07:21,997
You're wallowing.
No, I'm not.
1361
01:07:22,080 --> 01:07:23,206
Yes, you are.
I'm not wallowing.
1362
01:07:23,289 --> 01:07:24,256
You are wallowing.
1363
01:07:24,332 --> 01:07:27,085
What do you know? You don't know
anything about relationships.
1364
01:07:27,168 --> 01:07:28,545
Well, all right,
I'll take that.
1365
01:07:28,628 --> 01:07:30,221
When I'm in a relationship,
1366
01:07:30,296 --> 01:07:33,846
I'm a complete and
utter control freak.
1367
01:07:33,967 --> 01:07:35,890
Are you really? Are you really, though?
But that's not what...
1368
01:07:35,969 --> 01:07:37,767
It doesn't matter.
I'm surprised.
1369
01:07:37,845 --> 01:07:41,099
What we're talking about
now is your wallowing.
1370
01:07:41,182 --> 01:07:42,274
I'm not wallowing.
1371
01:07:42,350 --> 01:07:43,693
I was just trying
to tell you that
1372
01:07:43,768 --> 01:07:45,020
I needed something
different tonight,
1373
01:07:45,103 --> 01:07:46,275
and that's it.
1374
01:07:51,192 --> 01:07:52,819
Okay, here it comes.
1375
01:07:55,321 --> 01:07:56,447
Mmm-hmm, mmm-hmm.
1376
01:07:56,531 --> 01:07:59,000
Okay, shut up, shut up, shut up.
This is amazing.
1377
01:08:00,827 --> 01:08:01,874
Mmm!
1378
01:08:01,953 --> 01:08:03,751
No! No, no, no.
1379
01:08:03,830 --> 01:08:07,255
What were we thinking? I mean, I
was wrong, obviously. Totally.
1380
01:08:07,333 --> 01:08:09,210
I'm with Tom.
Yeah.
1381
01:08:09,294 --> 01:08:10,420
I'm taken.
I know.
1382
01:08:10,503 --> 01:08:12,301
I'm with Tom.
I apologize.
1383
01:08:12,380 --> 01:08:13,677
I'm going to go find Tom.
I know that.
1384
01:08:13,798 --> 01:08:16,426
It was a friend kissing a friend.
This was bad.
1385
01:08:16,509 --> 01:08:18,637
I kissed you
and you kissed
1386
01:08:19,345 --> 01:08:20,562
your boss.
1387
01:08:22,140 --> 01:08:23,312
Who are you texting?
1388
01:08:23,391 --> 01:08:24,688
I'm texting myself.
1389
01:08:24,767 --> 01:08:25,768
Yourself?
1390
01:08:25,852 --> 01:08:28,856
I am very drunk and I
will not remember this.
1391
01:08:31,065 --> 01:08:32,408
Hey, Tom!
1392
01:08:33,568 --> 01:08:34,615
Hey!
1393
01:08:39,741 --> 01:08:41,118
Hey, babe.
Hey.
1394
01:08:42,869 --> 01:08:43,995
I've been looking for you.
1395
01:08:44,078 --> 01:08:45,170
You're drunk, sweetie.
1396
01:08:45,246 --> 01:08:46,293
No, I'm not.
1397
01:08:46,372 --> 01:08:47,749
And you didn't
come home last night.
1398
01:08:47,832 --> 01:08:51,427
VIOLET: I know, because I've been
thinking about stuff, and I just...
1399
01:08:51,502 --> 01:08:52,628
What have you
been thinking?
1400
01:08:52,712 --> 01:08:56,057
I love you,
and you love me.
1401
01:08:56,716 --> 01:08:59,139
And I just think that,
why on Earth
1402
01:08:59,218 --> 01:09:00,470
would we put it
off any longer?
1403
01:09:00,553 --> 01:09:01,679
Because... I'll tell
you why we put it off.
1404
01:09:01,763 --> 01:09:05,017
Because we both decided
we had too many problems
1405
01:09:05,099 --> 01:09:08,729
and we were going to put the wedding
off until things got better.
1406
01:09:08,811 --> 01:09:12,987
Which was dumb as balls.
That was so dumb, Tom.
1407
01:09:13,066 --> 01:09:15,945
And I have been dumb,
saying that.
1408
01:09:16,694 --> 01:09:19,743
Please, I just want
to marry you, Tom.
1409
01:09:23,076 --> 01:09:24,419
Please?
1410
01:09:26,037 --> 01:09:27,380
Are you serious?
Yeah.
1411
01:09:27,955 --> 01:09:30,834
I'm so serious. I don't
know what we've been doing.
1412
01:09:30,917 --> 01:09:34,842
I have no idea why we've been
putting it off and waiting
1413
01:09:34,921 --> 01:09:36,844
and shifting
and this and that,
1414
01:09:36,923 --> 01:09:38,766
and dicking around.
It's like...
1415
01:09:38,925 --> 01:09:43,101
I just love you so much.
Madly.
1416
01:09:43,596 --> 01:09:46,349
So badly, Tom.
I just want to...
1417
01:09:47,100 --> 01:09:49,603
I just want
to get married.
1418
01:09:58,945 --> 01:10:01,118
TARQUIN: Yeah,
that's super sanitary.
1419
01:10:01,656 --> 01:10:04,500
You're making boner
impressions in the dough.
1420
01:10:05,868 --> 01:10:07,165
(CHUCKLES)
1421
01:10:10,957 --> 01:10:12,459
TARQUIN: Are you going
to puke?
1422
01:10:12,625 --> 01:10:13,672
Oh, shit.
1423
01:10:15,795 --> 01:10:17,968
Did you just
fucking eat it?
1424
01:10:18,798 --> 01:10:20,926
TOM: (CHUCKLING)
Baby, did you eat it?
1425
01:10:21,008 --> 01:10:22,055
Ugh.
1426
01:10:22,135 --> 01:10:23,978
That's disgusting.
1427
01:10:25,304 --> 01:10:28,183
(RETCHING)
1428
01:10:32,145 --> 01:10:33,397
VIOLET: Sorry.
1429
01:10:33,771 --> 01:10:35,023
I'm cool.
1430
01:10:35,106 --> 01:10:36,107
(RETCHING)
1431
01:10:37,275 --> 01:10:38,618
Sorry, Tarquin.
1432
01:10:39,694 --> 01:10:43,324
You know, that would have been way less
gross if you'd just puked everywhere.
1433
01:10:44,115 --> 01:10:47,415
All we have available that
weekend is our accordionist.
1434
01:10:48,244 --> 01:10:50,246
I love accordion. Great.
Me, too.
1435
01:10:50,413 --> 01:10:53,667
The Chos never made it to the altar,
so you can have this one for cheap.
1436
01:10:53,750 --> 01:10:55,002
Awesome.
Great.
1437
01:10:55,084 --> 01:10:58,213
And if you don't have a venue, my
brother Randy has a barbeque joint.
1438
01:10:58,296 --> 01:10:59,297
It's pretty killer.
1439
01:10:59,547 --> 01:11:01,299
Oh, sweet.
Perfect.
1440
01:11:01,382 --> 01:11:02,554
What does that say?
1441
01:11:02,717 --> 01:11:06,767
Yeah, it says,
"I don't read Korean."
1442
01:11:07,930 --> 01:11:09,523
All right,
I was just asking.
1443
01:11:09,599 --> 01:11:11,021
I'm just telling you.
1444
01:11:14,604 --> 01:11:15,901
I-46.
1445
01:11:15,980 --> 01:11:17,072
What do you think?
1446
01:11:17,148 --> 01:11:18,991
I think I love it.
1447
01:11:19,066 --> 01:11:21,694
Should we just book this place for
the rehearsal dinner as well?
1448
01:11:21,778 --> 01:11:22,779
Yes.
Great.
1449
01:11:22,862 --> 01:11:23,863
Done.
Done.
1450
01:11:23,946 --> 01:11:26,074
Sounds great to me.
1451
01:11:29,118 --> 01:11:30,119
Hi.
Hello.
1452
01:11:30,203 --> 01:11:31,204
Hello.
1453
01:11:31,287 --> 01:11:33,836
We were wondering,
do you do weddings?
1454
01:11:33,915 --> 01:11:35,667
You both Jewish?
1455
01:11:36,000 --> 01:11:37,126
Yeah.
1456
01:11:37,460 --> 01:11:38,461
Mmm!
1457
01:11:44,467 --> 01:11:45,889
I'm so excited
for tomorrow night.
1458
01:11:45,968 --> 01:11:47,686
Yeah.
Our rehearsal dinner.
1459
01:11:48,805 --> 01:11:51,979
I can't believe it.
It's finally here.
1460
01:11:55,978 --> 01:11:57,195
What's going on?
1461
01:11:57,271 --> 01:11:58,488
Nothing. Nada.
1462
01:11:58,981 --> 01:12:00,824
Something. What's up?
1463
01:12:01,609 --> 01:12:03,156
Winton kissed me.
1464
01:12:06,113 --> 01:12:08,332
What?
It meant nothing.
1465
01:12:09,492 --> 01:12:10,539
When?
1466
01:12:10,701 --> 01:12:12,419
It was a few weeks ago.
1467
01:12:12,495 --> 01:12:15,874
He was drunk and he didn't
mean what he was doing, Tom.
1468
01:12:16,040 --> 01:12:17,963
It was a stupid mistake.
1469
01:12:18,125 --> 01:12:19,547
He was drunk.
1470
01:12:19,627 --> 01:12:21,220
He's not coming
tomorrow night.
1471
01:12:21,295 --> 01:12:23,343
No, he's not.
I will tell him that.
1472
01:12:25,383 --> 01:12:27,852
This will never,
ever happen again.
1473
01:12:28,469 --> 01:12:29,812
I promise.
1474
01:12:30,054 --> 01:12:32,056
(SIGHS) I really wish you
hadn't told me that.
1475
01:12:32,139 --> 01:12:33,561
I'm sorry.
1476
01:12:34,058 --> 01:12:35,810
(R&B MUSIC PLAYING)
1477
01:12:47,572 --> 01:12:48,619
Is this going to happen?
1478
01:12:48,698 --> 01:12:49,790
Yes.
1479
01:12:51,158 --> 01:12:52,910
It's going to happen.
1480
01:12:52,994 --> 01:12:55,167
Because it's fine
if it's not.
1481
01:12:55,538 --> 01:12:57,666
Yeah, it's going to happen.
1482
01:12:58,207 --> 01:13:00,005
It's about to happen.
1483
01:13:09,427 --> 01:13:10,895
(SHUDDERING)
1484
01:13:24,400 --> 01:13:26,573
Did you just fake orgasm?
1485
01:13:29,697 --> 01:13:31,995
No.
He kissed me, Tom!
1486
01:13:35,578 --> 01:13:37,421
Okay, you know what'?
That is a cop out.
1487
01:13:37,580 --> 01:13:39,378
That is not fair.
1488
01:13:39,457 --> 01:13:42,210
Yes, he may have been
the one who kissed you,
1489
01:13:42,376 --> 01:13:46,176
but there is a reason that he
felt like that was an option.
1490
01:13:47,590 --> 01:13:49,718
You know that's the truth.
1491
01:13:51,719 --> 01:13:54,222
I'm going to go
sleep on the couch.
1492
01:13:54,889 --> 01:13:55,981
Tom.
1493
01:13:56,766 --> 01:13:57,858
Tom, come on.
1494
01:13:59,602 --> 01:14:02,947
Okay, no, you want to know something?
For the record,
1495
01:14:04,231 --> 01:14:06,325
I did fake that orgasm.
1496
01:14:07,151 --> 01:14:10,576
And I bet you probably couldn't even tell.
That's right.
1497
01:14:10,947 --> 01:14:13,791
Men can do it, too.
Hurts, doesn't it?
1498
01:14:15,117 --> 01:14:16,869
I'm going to
sleep out front.
1499
01:14:16,953 --> 01:14:18,421
Don't.
1500
01:14:18,496 --> 01:14:19,748
You're not the boss of me.
1501
01:14:23,668 --> 01:14:25,966
SUZIE: I'm really proud
of you guys.
1502
01:14:26,087 --> 01:14:28,556
I'm really glad you're finally doing it.
Yes. You're doing it.
1503
01:14:28,631 --> 01:14:30,304
We're finally here,
we made it.
1504
01:14:30,466 --> 01:14:32,139
ALEX: Hey, hey, don't cancel.
1505
01:14:32,301 --> 01:14:33,974
SUZIE: No, please
don't cancel.
1506
01:14:34,053 --> 01:14:35,100
Tom.
You know.
1507
01:14:35,179 --> 01:14:37,898
You've got 24 hours left. You've
got just 24 hours to get through.
1508
01:14:37,974 --> 01:14:39,226
And you could be
as happy as we are.
1509
01:14:39,308 --> 01:14:40,935
Yeah.
We're so happy.
1510
01:14:41,018 --> 01:14:42,941
I love you. I love you.
1511
01:14:52,029 --> 01:14:53,281
You drive me
fucking crazy.
1512
01:14:53,364 --> 01:14:55,332
Oh, God!
Oh, fuck.
1513
01:14:55,992 --> 01:14:58,495
I don't care who's watching.
I got a huge boner.
1514
01:15:00,037 --> 01:15:01,584
Hey, everyone.
1515
01:15:02,873 --> 01:15:05,501
Tom, you're so lucky,
1516
01:15:05,960 --> 01:15:09,840
because Violet is
like a princess.
1517
01:15:10,715 --> 01:15:12,092
You know when
you're a little kid
1518
01:15:12,174 --> 01:15:14,973
and you see Cinderella or
Sleeping Beauty or whatever,
1519
01:15:15,136 --> 01:15:17,855
and you're like,
"I want to fuck that."
1520
01:15:20,182 --> 01:15:21,650
You get to.
1521
01:15:28,566 --> 01:15:30,159
I think that
came out wrong.
1522
01:15:30,651 --> 01:15:32,324
In my head, it...
1523
01:15:33,654 --> 01:15:36,749
It sounded sweeter in my head.
Does that make...
1524
01:15:45,666 --> 01:15:47,384
I'm an alcoholic.
1525
01:15:57,136 --> 01:15:59,434
I just wanted to say
that I've only known
1526
01:15:59,513 --> 01:16:02,187
Violet and Tom
for a short while,
1527
01:16:03,100 --> 01:16:05,273
but their union
is a real mitzvah.
1528
01:16:06,771 --> 01:16:09,240
And it is my great
hope that they raise
1529
01:16:09,356 --> 01:16:11,825
their children
in the Jewish faith,
1530
01:16:12,359 --> 01:16:16,830
so that they, too, may continue our
Zionist struggle against the Arab.
1531
01:16:17,323 --> 01:16:21,294
We must continue our fight
against their murderous ways!
1532
01:16:21,660 --> 01:16:23,503
Do not give up
the settlements!
1533
01:16:23,788 --> 01:16:26,541
(SPEAKING HEBREW)
1534
01:16:26,624 --> 01:16:28,797
Next year in Jerusalem!
1535
01:16:28,876 --> 01:16:30,173
That's enough
for the toasts.
1536
01:16:30,294 --> 01:16:33,468
Let's just start the dancing.
Let's get dancing.
1537
01:16:35,508 --> 01:16:37,556
(FOLK TUNE PLAYING)
1538
01:17:10,251 --> 01:17:12,345
WINTON: Psst! Hey, Tom.
1539
01:17:14,421 --> 01:17:16,389
What are you doing here?
1540
01:17:18,968 --> 01:17:20,094
Tom, I...
1541
01:17:20,761 --> 01:17:21,808
(STAMMERING)
1542
01:17:22,680 --> 01:17:23,681
(CLEARS THROAT)
1543
01:17:23,764 --> 01:17:24,981
I've come to apologize.
1544
01:17:25,683 --> 01:17:27,936
My behavior was
totally uncalled for.
1545
01:17:28,018 --> 01:17:30,567
Honestly,
it was abhorrent.
1546
01:17:30,646 --> 01:17:32,819
But we are going to
be here for a long time
1547
01:17:32,898 --> 01:17:36,948
and I just don't want this
thing hanging between us.
1548
01:17:37,027 --> 01:17:38,654
You should run.
1549
01:17:40,948 --> 01:17:42,291
Hey, Vi.
1550
01:17:42,366 --> 01:17:43,663
LI\/in?
1551
01:17:44,160 --> 01:17:45,252
What's going on?
1552
01:17:45,494 --> 01:17:48,623
Well, now I have to beat
the shit out of Winton.
1553
01:17:49,331 --> 01:17:50,378
Ready?
No.
1554
01:17:50,457 --> 01:17:51,549
Here it comes.
Okay.
1555
01:17:51,542 --> 01:17:53,715
Tom, don't. Tom, Tom, Tom!
Here we go.
1556
01:17:53,878 --> 01:17:55,721
VIOLET: Do not
beat up Winton!
1557
01:17:57,673 --> 01:17:58,890
Tom!
1558
01:18:03,596 --> 01:18:05,394
WINTON: Stop this, Tom!
1559
01:18:05,472 --> 01:18:06,940
This is ridiculous!
1560
01:18:07,016 --> 01:18:08,438
You better keep running.
1561
01:18:08,517 --> 01:18:10,144
I'm going to
kick your ass!
1562
01:18:10,227 --> 01:18:11,945
I said I'm sorry!
1563
01:18:12,021 --> 01:18:15,321
You will never get away from me.
I'm a hunter.
1564
01:18:15,399 --> 01:18:17,197
WINTON: Can't we at least
stop and have a rest?
1565
01:18:17,276 --> 01:18:18,903
I never rest!
1566
01:18:19,570 --> 01:18:21,914
Whoa, whoa, whoa!
(CARS HONKING)
1567
01:18:22,239 --> 01:18:24,412
(MOCKINGLY) Whoa, whoa, whoa!
1568
01:18:25,201 --> 01:18:26,373
Tom! (GRUNTS)
1569
01:18:27,745 --> 01:18:28,837
I'm sorry, are you okay?
1570
01:18:30,164 --> 01:18:31,256
Why?
1571
01:18:39,882 --> 01:18:40,929
Fuck.
1572
01:18:43,260 --> 01:18:44,261
(GRUNTS)
1573
01:18:52,269 --> 01:18:53,737
Tom? Tom.
1574
01:18:54,271 --> 01:18:56,194
Tom. Come on.
1575
01:18:56,732 --> 01:18:58,234
(SCREAMING)
Hey, hey, hey!
1576
01:18:58,609 --> 01:19:00,611
Let me help you. Come on.
1577
01:19:01,695 --> 01:19:03,538
Okay! Don't touch me.
1578
01:19:04,073 --> 01:19:05,700
Don't touch me.
1579
01:19:06,784 --> 01:19:07,831
(GROANS)
1580
01:19:08,244 --> 01:19:11,714
Tom, I'm sorry, that was instinct.
Listen, are you okay?
1581
01:19:11,789 --> 01:19:13,006
Breathe, just breathe,
breathe in.
1582
01:19:13,540 --> 01:19:15,634
It will go away. Okay?
1583
01:19:16,126 --> 01:19:17,628
I'm sorry, Tom.
1584
01:19:17,711 --> 01:19:19,133
I really am. Yeah?
1585
01:19:20,547 --> 01:19:21,969
How could you
do this to me?
1586
01:19:22,049 --> 01:19:23,301
I haven't done
anything to you.
1587
01:19:23,384 --> 01:19:24,601
Violet did something
to you, not me.
1588
01:19:24,760 --> 01:19:27,730
If a woman wants to kiss me,
I'm going to fucking kiss her.
1589
01:19:27,805 --> 01:19:29,307
Underneath all
that polite bullshit,
1590
01:19:29,390 --> 01:19:30,858
we're all running
on caveman software.
1591
01:19:30,933 --> 01:19:33,231
If she's got a husband
or a fiancé or a boyfriend,
1592
01:19:33,310 --> 01:19:34,653
it's on her conscience,
not mine.
1593
01:19:34,979 --> 01:19:36,196
You should run.
1594
01:19:36,272 --> 01:19:39,526
Look, Tom, this is ridiculous.
Let's just put a stop to this now.
1595
01:19:39,608 --> 01:19:41,576
Please.
Come on, I'm sorry.
1596
01:19:41,652 --> 01:19:42,869
I really am.
1597
01:19:42,945 --> 01:19:45,494
Winton, if you feel bad about what
you did, then you'll run from me.
1598
01:19:47,283 --> 01:19:49,536
Well, okay,
I'll keep running.
1599
01:19:50,327 --> 01:19:52,000
I'm off. Sorry.
1600
01:19:54,331 --> 01:19:56,584
Okay, I gave you
a head start.
1601
01:19:58,168 --> 01:19:59,761
You better run.
1602
01:19:59,837 --> 01:20:01,009
Oh, tricky.
1603
01:20:12,182 --> 01:20:13,183
(EXCLAIMS)
1604
01:20:13,434 --> 01:20:15,027
You gotta be kidding me.
1605
01:20:17,855 --> 01:20:19,357
Ah!
1606
01:20:19,606 --> 01:20:20,698
Tom!
1607
01:20:21,692 --> 01:20:23,035
(CHEERING)
1608
01:20:27,114 --> 01:20:28,286
Ah!
1609
01:20:35,122 --> 01:20:36,294
MARGARET: Tom?
1610
01:20:39,376 --> 01:20:40,548
TOM: Margaret.
1611
01:20:40,627 --> 01:20:41,753
He)!
He)'
1612
01:20:42,212 --> 01:20:44,715
Guys, this is Tom.
1613
01:20:45,674 --> 01:20:47,051
We work together.
1614
01:20:47,384 --> 01:20:49,637
You want to go
get some food?
1615
01:20:49,720 --> 01:20:51,973
I got the keys
to Zingerman's.
1616
01:20:53,974 --> 01:20:55,226
Come in. Shh!
1617
01:20:55,642 --> 01:20:58,145
Oh, my God, I'm going to hit
the City Goat wicked hard.
1618
01:20:58,228 --> 01:20:59,320
I would eat that.
1619
01:20:59,396 --> 01:21:00,898
I'm so hungry.
1620
01:21:03,025 --> 01:21:05,153
What have you got?
The potato salad?
1621
01:21:05,235 --> 01:21:06,452
I'm drunk, dude.
1622
01:21:06,528 --> 01:21:07,700
Yeah, me, too.
(LAUGHING)
1623
01:21:08,739 --> 01:21:10,616
Look.
Oh, man, holy shit.
1624
01:21:10,908 --> 01:21:11,909
Oh!
1625
01:21:13,911 --> 01:21:16,755
Tell me you haven't
fantasized about that.
1626
01:21:17,081 --> 01:21:18,082
(CHUCKLING)
1627
01:21:18,999 --> 01:21:20,592
Actually, I haven't.
1628
01:21:23,003 --> 01:21:24,846
Mmm!
That's really good.
1629
01:21:24,922 --> 01:21:27,095
You taste
the fennel pollen?
1630
01:21:27,758 --> 01:21:29,351
There's Marrakech
pepper in there, too.
1631
01:21:29,426 --> 01:21:30,973
And smoked paprika.
1632
01:21:31,053 --> 01:21:33,101
No, wait, now me. Do me.
1633
01:21:33,180 --> 01:21:34,352
What are you doing?
1634
01:21:34,431 --> 01:21:35,728
Come on. (SCREAMS)
1635
01:21:35,974 --> 01:21:37,521
(BOTH LAUGHING)
1636
01:21:38,394 --> 01:21:39,520
This is weird.
1637
01:21:39,603 --> 01:21:40,775
Right?
Yeah.
1638
01:21:40,854 --> 01:21:42,106
Wait, you got a little...
1639
01:21:42,189 --> 01:21:44,362
You got a little
bit right there.
1640
01:21:44,441 --> 01:21:46,660
I think it's
everywhere. Wait.
1641
01:21:47,069 --> 01:21:48,571
Just a little.
1642
01:21:51,573 --> 01:21:53,325
I think you're cute.
1643
01:21:53,409 --> 01:21:55,707
This is really silly.
1644
01:22:01,917 --> 01:22:04,340
You're going to...
Well, don't take my...
1645
01:22:04,420 --> 01:22:06,218
I don't want to be... Whoa!
1646
01:22:07,381 --> 01:22:08,382
Wait.
Wait.
1647
01:22:08,465 --> 01:22:10,467
No, hold on. We should
wait about that.
1648
01:22:11,009 --> 01:22:12,010
(TOM STAMMERING)
1649
01:22:12,594 --> 01:22:13,720
MARGARET:
Hang on, look.
1650
01:22:13,804 --> 01:22:17,024
Stop and think about this before...
Oh, fuck me!
1651
01:22:17,141 --> 01:22:18,518
(LAUGHING MANIACALLY)
1652
01:22:20,185 --> 01:22:22,813
Sriracha!
1653
01:22:23,522 --> 01:22:26,071
No,no,no!
It's hot pepper.
1654
01:22:26,150 --> 01:22:28,403
Oh, my God!
Oh, God, I'm sorry.
1655
01:22:28,861 --> 01:22:31,705
Oh, shit! Here. Come
here, cheese helps.
1656
01:22:32,072 --> 01:22:33,870
(SCREAMING)
Oh, my God!
1657
01:22:33,949 --> 01:22:36,702
I'm sorry. I'm sorry.
Shit, I'm sorry. I'm sorry.
1658
01:22:37,786 --> 01:22:39,038
Okay.
1659
01:22:40,372 --> 01:22:41,339
I don't...
1660
01:22:41,415 --> 01:22:43,133
Here, just do it.
1661
01:22:44,460 --> 01:22:47,430
I have an idea. I have an idea.
What?
1662
01:22:48,172 --> 01:22:49,298
You ready?
What are you doing?
1663
01:22:49,381 --> 01:22:53,978
Excuse me, sir. Could you
please pass the Grey Poupon?
1664
01:22:54,678 --> 01:22:56,726
(BLOWING RASPBERRY)
1665
01:22:59,433 --> 01:23:01,652
I totally just
thought of that.
1666
01:23:03,395 --> 01:23:06,239
Well, I mean, I thought of
it, like, the other night.
1667
01:23:06,482 --> 01:23:08,951
I have to go
to the bathroom.
1668
01:23:13,405 --> 01:23:14,952
Are you okay?
1669
01:23:37,971 --> 01:23:39,314
Oh, no.
1670
01:23:45,145 --> 01:23:46,988
(TOM GROANING)
1671
01:23:48,065 --> 01:23:51,410
(SLURRING SPEECH) Violet.
I didn't mean to do that.
1672
01:23:54,446 --> 01:23:55,698
Violet.
1673
01:23:58,116 --> 01:24:01,120
(SOBBING) I'm sorry.
I didn't want to do that.
1674
01:24:02,329 --> 01:24:04,002
You fucking idiot.
1675
01:24:04,957 --> 01:24:07,710
The cold makes you
have a baby dick.
1676
01:24:15,008 --> 01:24:17,978
Oh, God, what's happening?
Where am I?
1677
01:24:21,014 --> 01:24:24,518
Sir, sir, can you help me?
I'm frozen.
1678
01:24:27,813 --> 01:24:30,282
Oh, God,
what's happening?
1679
01:24:30,357 --> 01:24:33,987
My toe! (SOBBING)
God, my toe!
1680
01:24:48,125 --> 01:24:50,594
Hi.
1681
01:24:51,878 --> 01:24:54,552
I did something
really bad last night.
1682
01:24:54,965 --> 01:24:56,137
Yeah.
1683
01:24:57,551 --> 01:25:01,556
Tarquin brought your pants back
to the hospital, so I kind of
1684
01:25:02,723 --> 01:25:05,397
put two and two
together, you know.
1685
01:25:06,393 --> 01:25:08,691
I'm sorry I keep smiling.
1686
01:25:09,646 --> 01:25:12,320
I know what's
happening is so bad,
1687
01:25:12,899 --> 01:25:14,947
but I'm on all
of this Percocet.
1688
01:25:15,068 --> 01:25:16,615
(BOTH CHUCKLING)
1689
01:25:21,408 --> 01:25:23,285
I'm not happy-
1690
01:25:24,661 --> 01:25:26,254
I know that.
1691
01:25:28,540 --> 01:25:29,837
Neither am I.
1692
01:25:30,042 --> 01:25:33,262
I'm just not the man
that I want to be right now.
1693
01:25:34,880 --> 01:25:36,348
I don't think I
can be the husband
1694
01:25:36,423 --> 01:25:37,925
that you need me
to be right now.
1695
01:25:39,009 --> 01:25:41,888
I think I've made you
very, very unhappy here.
1696
01:25:43,472 --> 01:25:46,476
You know, and I don't know
how to make it right anymore.
1697
01:25:49,978 --> 01:25:52,447
Almost perfect
for each other.
1698
01:25:54,399 --> 01:25:55,696
Sorry.
1699
01:25:57,736 --> 01:25:59,033
Sorry.
1700
01:26:57,212 --> 01:26:58,680
(INDISTINCT)
1701
01:27:15,856 --> 01:27:16,857
Bye.
1702
01:27:22,738 --> 01:27:24,490
This smells incredible.
1703
01:27:24,573 --> 01:27:26,291
Hey. Thank you.
1704
01:27:27,617 --> 01:27:29,665
You're like the king
of the kitchen. Oh.
1705
01:27:34,249 --> 01:27:35,296
Dinner is served.
1706
01:27:35,709 --> 01:27:36,961
(CHUCKLING)
1707
01:27:37,252 --> 01:27:38,549
Thank you.
1708
01:27:40,547 --> 01:27:41,799
Cheers.
Cheers.
1709
01:27:41,882 --> 01:27:43,054
Happy Thanksgiving,
darling.
1710
01:27:43,133 --> 01:27:44,134
Oh, thank you.
1711
01:27:46,970 --> 01:27:49,519
This is so exciting,
being together.
1712
01:27:50,056 --> 01:27:52,434
Every summer, we'll have
eight weeks off,
1713
01:27:52,517 --> 01:27:55,191
which we can spend
in my lodge in Nova Scotia,
1714
01:27:55,270 --> 01:27:56,817
where we can
work on our papers.
1715
01:27:56,897 --> 01:28:00,026
And then, every seven years
we'll have a sabbatical,
1716
01:28:00,108 --> 01:28:03,863
which we can enjoy in Wales
on my family's farm.
1717
01:28:04,321 --> 01:28:05,994
That's a lot of planning.
1718
01:28:06,072 --> 01:28:07,824
I'm getting ahead
of myself. I'm sorry.
1719
01:28:08,033 --> 01:28:09,034
Bon appétit.
1720
01:28:09,117 --> 01:28:10,118
Thank you.
1721
01:28:10,202 --> 01:28:11,249
All right, dig in.
1722
01:28:12,996 --> 01:28:14,748
I am ravenous.
1723
01:28:16,833 --> 01:28:18,335
Oh, man.
1724
01:28:18,418 --> 01:28:20,011
Baby, that meal
was amazing.
1725
01:28:20,086 --> 01:28:21,929
Oh, thanks.
Thank you.
1726
01:28:22,547 --> 01:28:24,800
What do you
want to do now?
1727
01:28:24,883 --> 01:28:27,306
I don't know, it's
Thanksgiving and I'm stuffed.
1728
01:28:27,385 --> 01:28:29,228
I thought maybe we
could just hang out here
1729
01:28:29,304 --> 01:28:31,102
and have a kind
of mellow evening.
1730
01:28:31,181 --> 01:28:33,525
Yeah, I love
a mellow evening.
1731
01:28:33,600 --> 01:28:34,692
Yeah!
1732
01:28:34,768 --> 01:28:37,146
Go faster, faster!
Come on!
1733
01:28:37,229 --> 01:28:38,401
I'm trying. No!
1734
01:28:38,480 --> 01:28:39,572
Ow!Ow!Ow!
1735
01:28:39,648 --> 01:28:41,241
Oh, yeah.
Yeah, I don't like that.
1736
01:28:41,399 --> 01:28:43,072
I could just do this forever.
Yeah.
1737
01:28:43,151 --> 01:28:44,494
I just need a break.
Okay.
1738
01:28:44,569 --> 01:28:46,367
I need a break.
Okay.
1739
01:28:46,696 --> 01:28:48,164
Go fucking faster, Tom!
1740
01:28:48,240 --> 01:28:49,617
(GRUNTING)
1741
01:28:50,575 --> 01:28:52,248
(INDIAN CLUB MUSIC PLAYING)
1742
01:28:56,665 --> 01:28:58,963
Tom, be more
Indian than that.
1743
01:29:00,043 --> 01:29:01,795
(FAST LATIN MUSIC PLAYING)
1744
01:29:03,964 --> 01:29:05,807
(HIP-HOP MUSIC PLAYING)
1745
01:29:07,801 --> 01:29:09,303
(DANCE HALL MUSIC PLAYING)
1746
01:29:14,307 --> 01:29:16,309
(INDISTINCT TALKING ON TV)
1747
01:29:18,270 --> 01:29:21,023
Let's paint.
Let's paint.
1748
01:29:21,314 --> 01:29:22,361
What?
1749
01:29:22,440 --> 01:29:26,536
Let's paint. Let's paint.
Let's paint.
1750
01:29:27,279 --> 01:29:29,498
I don't understand... We're
making art together.
1751
01:29:29,573 --> 01:29:31,325
But why do we
need goggles?
1752
01:29:35,912 --> 01:29:38,210
This is a new level
of our relationship.
1753
01:29:38,290 --> 01:29:39,462
(SIGHING)
This feels dumb.
1754
01:29:39,541 --> 01:29:41,669
We've reached
a plateau.
1755
01:29:41,751 --> 01:29:43,173
This feels dumb.
1756
01:29:43,378 --> 01:29:46,632
WOMAN ON TV: We have unfinished business.
Is this about revenge?
1757
01:29:47,465 --> 01:29:49,138
I'm so bored.
1758
01:29:50,302 --> 01:29:51,975
(CLUB MUSIC PLAYING)
1759
01:29:56,266 --> 01:29:57,813
(WHISPERING) I love you.
1760
01:29:59,102 --> 01:30:00,775
I love you.
1761
01:30:02,230 --> 01:30:04,073
I love you.
1762
01:30:05,442 --> 01:30:07,490
(IN MASCULINE VOICE)
I love you, too, Audrey.
1763
01:30:08,904 --> 01:30:09,996
I love you.
1764
01:30:10,071 --> 01:30:11,288
Please stop doing
that to my face.
1765
01:30:11,364 --> 01:30:13,742
Why? I just want to see your
eyes, they're so pretty.
1766
01:30:17,579 --> 01:30:19,172
Tom, that was
really aggressive.
1767
01:30:19,831 --> 01:30:23,005
I'm sorry.
1768
01:30:24,544 --> 01:30:27,423
Apology accepted.
I forgive you.
1769
01:30:29,215 --> 01:30:30,341
Okay.
1770
01:30:31,092 --> 01:30:32,264
Okay.
1771
01:30:33,136 --> 01:30:35,138
Babe, really, honestly...
1772
01:30:35,555 --> 01:30:38,354
It's, like, raw down there
at this point. I gotta sleep.
1773
01:30:38,433 --> 01:30:39,730
Faster!
1774
01:30:40,352 --> 01:30:41,945
Tommy, go faster!
Fuck.
1775
01:30:50,528 --> 01:30:52,371
Oh, my God, Tom!
1776
01:31:14,761 --> 01:31:15,762
(COMPUTER CHIMES)
1777
01:31:16,930 --> 01:31:19,479
TOM: Hey, Violet, happy birthday.
Just thinking of you.
1778
01:31:20,016 --> 01:31:22,644
Looks like the Michigan psych
department has been busy.
1779
01:31:22,727 --> 01:31:23,944
I found this
on the Internet.
1780
01:31:24,104 --> 01:31:25,447
Not sure if you're
aware of it.
1781
01:31:25,522 --> 01:31:27,775
Anyways, hope all is well.
Love, Tom.
1782
01:31:27,857 --> 01:31:30,110
You just go to sleep,
1783
01:31:30,360 --> 01:31:34,331
and then upon completion of the
experiment, you will receive $35 check.
1784
01:31:34,614 --> 01:31:35,615
(LAUGHING)
1785
01:31:35,699 --> 01:31:37,667
The subject is asleep.
1786
01:31:38,034 --> 01:31:40,913
Time for the experiment.
Let's see what happens.
1787
01:31:40,996 --> 01:31:43,875
Pour blood
all over his body.
1788
01:31:44,833 --> 01:31:46,961
Cover his body
in feathers.
1789
01:31:48,211 --> 01:31:50,760
It's time to put
a gun in his hand.
1790
01:31:51,423 --> 01:31:53,221
Oh, my God!
1791
01:31:53,299 --> 01:31:54,425
Now, the final step.
1792
01:31:54,509 --> 01:31:58,013
I'm going to yell, "Wake up!"
inside of his ear.
1793
01:31:58,221 --> 01:31:59,768
Let's see what happens.
1794
01:32:01,766 --> 01:32:03,985
(SCREAMING) Wake up!
(GUN FIRES)
1795
01:32:04,060 --> 01:32:05,858
Oh, my God!
1796
01:32:06,187 --> 01:32:07,279
(SCREAMING)
1797
01:32:07,355 --> 01:32:08,777
TARQUIN: You motherfucker!
1798
01:32:08,857 --> 01:32:11,576
MING: No, no, help!
No, please!
1799
01:32:12,027 --> 01:32:14,906
TARQUIN: What the fuck?
You motherfucker!
1800
01:32:15,071 --> 01:32:16,288
ALEX: How we
doing over here?
1801
01:32:17,240 --> 01:32:18,457
Nice work, Jay.
1802
01:32:18,533 --> 01:32:19,625
Let me take over
for a little bit,
1803
01:32:19,701 --> 01:32:21,499
I want to hang out
with these nice people.
1804
01:32:22,245 --> 01:32:23,292
Tommy boy!
1805
01:32:23,371 --> 01:32:24,497
Yo, what's up, buddy?
1806
01:32:24,581 --> 01:32:25,798
Hear my Maserati broke down?
1807
01:32:25,874 --> 01:32:27,342
No, really?
ALEX: Yeah.
1808
01:32:27,417 --> 01:32:29,260
You think I could
get a tow?
1809
01:32:30,462 --> 01:32:33,932
All right, Alex,
I have no toe, okay?
1810
01:32:34,007 --> 01:32:35,099
We get it. Thank you.
1811
01:32:35,175 --> 01:32:36,176
No toe.
(PHONE RINGING)
1812
01:32:36,634 --> 01:32:40,013
ALEX: (LAUGHING)
He has terrible balance.
1813
01:32:40,722 --> 01:32:42,599
Yo, phone call,
is that cool?
1814
01:32:43,016 --> 01:32:44,268
Totally.
1815
01:32:44,726 --> 01:32:46,148
Toe-tally.
1816
01:32:46,478 --> 01:32:48,071
TOM: Violet.
Hi.
1817
01:32:48,480 --> 01:32:49,697
Hey, happy birthday.
1818
01:32:49,773 --> 01:32:50,990
Thank you.
1819
01:32:51,191 --> 01:32:52,989
Wow, it's nice
to hear from you.
1820
01:32:53,068 --> 01:32:54,991
Yeah, you, too.
1821
01:32:55,278 --> 01:32:57,372
It's been a long time, right?
1822
01:32:57,447 --> 01:32:59,666
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
It's been a long time.
1823
01:32:59,741 --> 01:33:00,742
Yeah.
1824
01:33:00,992 --> 01:33:02,710
Is everything good?
1825
01:33:02,786 --> 01:33:04,333
Everything's good.
Yeah, yeah.
1826
01:33:04,579 --> 01:33:06,832
How's... How's you?
1827
01:33:08,750 --> 01:33:10,548
How's Winton?
1828
01:33:11,336 --> 01:33:12,758
He's good.
1829
01:33:13,671 --> 01:33:15,173
How's Audrey?
1830
01:33:15,548 --> 01:33:17,721
She's, you know,
it's the same old Audrey.
1831
01:33:17,884 --> 01:33:19,602
Same "old" Audrey.
1832
01:33:20,011 --> 01:33:21,354
On. Right.
1833
01:33:22,555 --> 01:33:23,977
Because she's a baby.
1834
01:33:24,057 --> 01:33:25,775
She is a child.
1835
01:33:26,476 --> 01:33:27,773
How about Winton?
1836
01:33:27,852 --> 01:33:30,480
Is it fun to have sex with
a 100-year-old man? Ha-ha!
1837
01:33:30,563 --> 01:33:32,816
Oh, don't do that.
1838
01:33:32,899 --> 01:33:34,196
I got it.
You're right.
1839
01:33:34,484 --> 01:33:37,283
Hey, I have
a fun birthday game.
1840
01:33:37,612 --> 01:33:39,080
Okay.
Feel like playing a game?
1841
01:33:39,155 --> 01:33:40,623
Yeah. Depends.
Okay.
1842
01:33:40,698 --> 01:33:43,167
Like, what was
the actual moment
1843
01:33:43,243 --> 01:33:44,711
when you knew that
things were over?
1844
01:33:44,911 --> 01:33:46,254
Let's not do that.
1845
01:33:46,329 --> 01:33:49,378
I mean, I know I left a loaded
crossbow on the kitchen table.
1846
01:33:49,457 --> 01:33:51,334
Yeah, you did do that.
1847
01:33:51,876 --> 01:33:54,254
I hooked up
with a co-worker...
1848
01:33:54,420 --> 01:33:55,672
And then you
ate the old donut.
1849
01:33:56,548 --> 01:33:57,970
What did you
say about a donut?
1850
01:33:58,049 --> 01:34:00,051
I didn't, I just said...
1851
01:34:01,052 --> 01:34:02,304
It doesn't matter.
1852
01:34:02,595 --> 01:34:03,687
What?
1853
01:34:06,057 --> 01:34:09,732
I think it's going to sound really stupid
when I say it out loud. Okay. Um...
1854
01:34:09,811 --> 01:34:12,314
You know that
experiment that I initiated,
1855
01:34:12,397 --> 01:34:16,243
which was based
on the fact that
1856
01:34:16,317 --> 01:34:19,196
people who ate old donuts
had emotional deficiencies
1857
01:34:19,821 --> 01:34:21,789
and problems with commitment?
1858
01:34:22,198 --> 01:34:24,701
And, you know, the results
were very accurate with it.
1859
01:34:24,784 --> 01:34:27,503
And so when I saw you,
1860
01:34:27,954 --> 01:34:33,802
um, really going to town on a
plate of old donuts, it...
1861
01:34:36,504 --> 01:34:38,256
It freaked me out.
1862
01:34:41,593 --> 01:34:42,845
Tom?
1863
01:34:45,221 --> 01:34:46,598
Hello?
(FEIGNS LAUGHTER)
1864
01:34:48,933 --> 01:34:52,187
I think that that is,
1865
01:34:53,938 --> 01:34:57,033
like, the dumbest thing
that I have ever heard.
1866
01:34:57,108 --> 01:34:58,655
You know what?
I never said anything,
1867
01:34:58,735 --> 01:35:01,909
but your entire
premise is bullshit.
1868
01:35:01,988 --> 01:35:03,661
Okay? And would
you like to know why?
1869
01:35:03,740 --> 01:35:07,335
Because these imaginary new
donuts that you offer people,
1870
01:35:07,410 --> 01:35:09,253
they may never arrive.
1871
01:35:09,329 --> 01:35:10,876
Okay, they're not real.
1872
01:35:10,955 --> 01:35:12,423
And me, personally,
1873
01:35:12,498 --> 01:35:16,048
I am not the type of person
who wants to sit around
1874
01:35:16,127 --> 01:35:19,006
and wait for something
that might never arrive
1875
01:35:19,088 --> 01:35:22,763
when they know that the thing
they have in front of them is...
1876
01:35:22,926 --> 01:35:23,973
It's tasty!
1877
01:35:24,052 --> 01:35:27,397
It's good, okay?
And you know what?
1878
01:35:27,597 --> 01:35:31,898
It's not about the age of the
donut, it's about the flavor. Boom.
1879
01:35:32,644 --> 01:35:36,490
And you know the other thing?
The new donuts,
1880
01:35:36,564 --> 01:35:38,783
they're going to get
stale someday, too.
1881
01:35:38,858 --> 01:35:41,077
And this is exactly
1882
01:35:41,694 --> 01:35:44,618
what I did not want to happen
when I sent that email.
1883
01:35:44,697 --> 01:35:46,244
I think I should just go.
1884
01:35:46,324 --> 01:35:48,577
Yeah, no.
Yeah, you should go.
1885
01:35:49,494 --> 01:35:51,872
You're clearly
very upset and...
1886
01:35:51,955 --> 01:35:53,582
I don't even know
what I said.
1887
01:35:53,831 --> 01:35:55,674
Everything just turned red.
1888
01:35:55,833 --> 01:35:57,631
It's so hot back here.
1889
01:35:58,294 --> 01:36:00,888
It's why people are always
fighting in the Middle East.
1890
01:36:01,047 --> 01:36:03,425
It's just, you get so hot.
1891
01:36:04,509 --> 01:36:05,601
Tom,
1892
01:36:06,761 --> 01:36:08,013
I'm going to go, okay?
1893
01:36:08,096 --> 01:36:09,313
Yeah.
1894
01:36:10,265 --> 01:36:11,938
Happy birthday.
1895
01:36:12,100 --> 01:36:13,226
Okay.
1896
01:36:15,728 --> 01:36:16,945
Bye.
1897
01:36:18,481 --> 01:36:19,778
Goodbye.
1898
01:36:28,324 --> 01:36:30,452
(LAUGHING) ls somebody crying?
1899
01:36:34,664 --> 01:36:35,881
Sorry.
1900
01:36:36,791 --> 01:36:38,543
Dude, what's up?
1901
01:36:39,877 --> 01:36:41,629
I don't know what
I'm doing, dude.
1902
01:36:42,422 --> 01:36:46,393
I just got off the phone with Violet.
And I just feel fucking...
1903
01:36:47,635 --> 01:36:48,932
I don't know.
1904
01:36:49,846 --> 01:36:50,893
(SIGHS)
1905
01:36:50,972 --> 01:36:53,350
I don't know how
I ended up here.
1906
01:36:54,267 --> 01:36:55,769
Can I be honest with you?
1907
01:36:56,311 --> 01:36:59,440
You shouldn't be here
working in my restaurant, man.
1908
01:36:59,856 --> 01:37:02,405
You should be running
your own restaurant.
1909
01:37:02,650 --> 01:37:04,994
You're a better chef than me,
you always have been.
1910
01:37:05,069 --> 01:37:07,037
Everybody here knows it.
1911
01:37:09,407 --> 01:37:11,375
Tom, you're fired.
1912
01:37:12,577 --> 01:37:14,170
I'm firing you.
1913
01:37:16,748 --> 01:37:18,625
Pack your knives and go.
(LAUGHS)
1914
01:37:19,834 --> 01:37:20,926
That's Top Chef.
1915
01:37:21,085 --> 01:37:22,883
Yeah, that's Top Chef.
(CHUCKLES) Yeah.
1916
01:37:23,963 --> 01:37:26,842
Seeing you chop
onions is depressing.
1917
01:37:26,924 --> 01:37:29,143
It's like watching
Michael Jordan take a shit.
1918
01:37:30,345 --> 01:37:32,393
He could probably get it in the
toilet from, like, 30 feet away.
1919
01:37:32,472 --> 01:37:33,473
(LAUGHING UNCONTROLLABLY)
1920
01:37:33,556 --> 01:37:35,604
Three-pointer
from the living room.
1921
01:37:35,683 --> 01:37:37,526
Nothing but porcelain.
1922
01:37:38,478 --> 01:37:39,695
Poosh.
1923
01:37:41,647 --> 01:37:43,274
Poosh.
Poosh.
1924
01:37:43,649 --> 01:37:47,199
I think about 13 miles to the
gallon, city, 15, highway.
1925
01:37:47,570 --> 01:37:50,198
There's a bit of
blood spatter in the back.
1926
01:37:50,281 --> 01:37:51,533
I think it's haunted.
1927
01:37:52,367 --> 01:37:54,085
Great crash rating, though.
1928
01:37:54,786 --> 01:37:56,914
So, what are you
going to be using it for?
1929
01:37:57,872 --> 01:37:59,340
Food service.
1930
01:38:01,459 --> 01:38:02,961
Oh, buddy.
1931
01:38:13,930 --> 01:38:16,809
TOM: All right, we're going
to need two more venison.
1932
01:38:17,934 --> 01:38:19,436
Sorry for the holdup,
everybody.
1933
01:38:19,519 --> 01:38:21,647
How's my taco coming?
We good?
1934
01:38:21,729 --> 01:38:22,730
Let's get it.
1935
01:38:23,231 --> 01:38:25,700
Thanks, I'll see you tomorrow?
All right.
1936
01:38:25,775 --> 01:38:28,278
I just want you to know,
I've had tacos in Oahu.
1937
01:38:28,361 --> 01:38:29,658
I've had tacos in Baja.
1938
01:38:29,737 --> 01:38:31,239
I've had tacos
in Port-au-Prince.
1939
01:38:31,364 --> 01:38:32,866
I've had tacos
in Buenos Aires.
1940
01:38:32,949 --> 01:38:34,872
I've even had
tacos in Guatemala.
1941
01:38:34,951 --> 01:38:37,795
These are the best motherfucking
tacos I have ever had.
1942
01:38:37,870 --> 01:38:40,248
You're a white guy.
You make tacos like a Mexican.
1943
01:38:40,957 --> 01:38:41,958
Thanks.
1944
01:38:42,250 --> 01:38:43,376
Give me a hug.
1945
01:38:43,960 --> 01:38:44,961
Oh, really?
1946
01:38:45,044 --> 01:38:47,012
Give me a hug, now!
1947
01:38:47,171 --> 01:38:48,764
All right.
1948
01:38:49,006 --> 01:38:51,134
Mmm! You smell like a taco.
1949
01:38:51,843 --> 01:38:54,096
Okay, can we get
those tacos ready?
1950
01:38:54,762 --> 01:38:57,732
As you know, we have a sufficiency
of qualified candidates
1951
01:38:57,807 --> 01:39:00,230
for a position in
your department,
1952
01:39:00,309 --> 01:39:02,778
but you got it.
Congratulations.
1953
01:39:03,396 --> 01:39:08,027
You're being promoted to assistant
professor, tenure track. Congratulations.
1954
01:39:08,109 --> 01:39:09,656
Holy shit!
1955
01:39:09,735 --> 01:39:10,987
(LAUGHING)
1956
01:39:11,779 --> 01:39:15,454
Sorry, that was really
inappropriate, it's just...
1957
01:39:17,160 --> 01:39:19,834
Shoot, I am so thrilled.
Thank you.
1958
01:39:19,996 --> 01:39:21,873
Congratulations.
Professor Walch.
1959
01:39:21,956 --> 01:39:24,050
Bravo, bravo.
Thank you, Professor.
1960
01:39:24,125 --> 01:39:25,342
Fudge.
1961
01:39:27,044 --> 01:39:28,136
Wonderful.
1962
01:39:34,635 --> 01:39:35,636
Doug?
1963
01:39:36,387 --> 01:39:37,559
Hey.
1964
01:39:37,638 --> 01:39:39,265
Heard your news.
Congratulations.
1965
01:39:39,348 --> 01:39:40,725
Thanks.
Yeah.
1966
01:39:41,142 --> 01:39:42,143
Where are you going?
1967
01:39:42,477 --> 01:39:45,651
Uh... On my way to
University of North Dakota.
1968
01:39:46,606 --> 01:39:49,155
Oh! Well, that's good.
1969
01:39:49,233 --> 01:39:51,702
Yeah. No, no, it's great.
I'm excited.
1970
01:39:51,903 --> 01:39:53,246
I'm going to be a pioneer.
1971
01:39:53,321 --> 01:39:55,915
I'm going to be the first
black guy to freeze to death.
1972
01:39:56,073 --> 01:39:58,246
It's going to be cool.
Yeah, I'm pumped up about it.
1973
01:39:58,326 --> 01:39:59,327
Cool.
Yeah.
1974
01:39:59,410 --> 01:40:02,004
It's just like that song.
I get knocked down,
1975
01:40:02,079 --> 01:40:04,548
except I get up
again in North Dakota,
1976
01:40:04,624 --> 01:40:06,217
which is the worst
place on Earth.
1977
01:40:06,584 --> 01:40:08,052
I'm sorry.
1978
01:40:08,127 --> 01:40:09,754
You know what? I'm overreacting.
It's going to be great.
1979
01:40:09,921 --> 01:40:13,050
And I couldn't keep up with you and Winton.
I couldn't compete, so...
1980
01:40:13,257 --> 01:40:15,351
(SCOFFS)
What do you mean by that?
1981
01:40:16,761 --> 01:40:18,434
I mean, come on,
you know what I mean.
1982
01:40:19,222 --> 01:40:20,223
I don't.
1983
01:40:20,848 --> 01:40:22,020
You know what I mean.
1984
01:40:23,351 --> 01:40:26,195
Yeah, well, it's not
really like that.
1985
01:40:27,355 --> 01:40:29,403
Uh... No, it's a fact.
1986
01:40:30,858 --> 01:40:33,407
Yeah, well, that's not
why I got the...
1987
01:40:34,028 --> 01:40:35,280
Ah. A little bit.
1988
01:40:36,030 --> 01:40:37,031
Okay.
1989
01:40:44,247 --> 01:40:45,294
VIOLET: Hey.
1990
01:40:45,373 --> 01:40:47,467
Hey. Here she is.
1991
01:40:52,713 --> 01:40:54,056
So, congratulations.
1992
01:40:54,131 --> 01:40:55,132
Thank you.
1993
01:40:55,383 --> 01:40:57,977
She got the job? Motherfucker!
Shh!
1994
01:40:58,052 --> 01:40:59,770
It's very exciting.
1995
01:41:02,265 --> 01:41:04,188
How long do you think
I have to decide,
1996
01:41:04,267 --> 01:41:06,065
you know, whether
to take it or not?
1997
01:41:06,769 --> 01:41:08,442
Sorry, I don't
understand the question.
1998
01:41:08,604 --> 01:41:09,821
Oh, the position.
1999
01:41:09,897 --> 01:41:11,319
I'm just wondering how
long I've got to decide
2000
01:41:11,399 --> 01:41:13,322
on whether
I should take it.
2001
01:41:13,401 --> 01:41:15,995
Well, you have to take it.
You've got no choice.
2002
01:41:17,321 --> 01:41:18,789
Can I ask you something?
2003
01:41:18,990 --> 01:41:19,991
Yeah.
2004
01:41:20,241 --> 01:41:22,039
Did I get the job
because I deserved it
2005
01:41:22,118 --> 01:41:23,961
or did I get it because you're
trying to keep me here?
2006
01:41:24,245 --> 01:41:25,918
You got it because
you deserved it.
2007
01:41:25,997 --> 01:41:28,841
Okay. So, I was
the strongest candidate.
2008
01:41:28,916 --> 01:41:29,963
Of course you were.
2009
01:41:30,251 --> 01:41:31,673
Okay, we should
not be watching this.
2010
01:41:31,752 --> 01:41:33,095
You're right,
we shouldn't.
2011
01:41:33,170 --> 01:41:35,764
WINTON: I mean, these things
are inherently subjective,
2012
01:41:35,923 --> 01:41:38,267
but I certainly feel that
we made the right choice, yes.
2013
01:41:38,634 --> 01:41:40,636
I think I just need
you to say "yes" or "no"
2014
01:41:40,720 --> 01:41:42,814
as to whether I was
the strongest candidate.
2015
01:41:42,888 --> 01:41:45,186
Well, why does it
matter so much?
2016
01:41:45,266 --> 01:41:48,065
Because it matters to me. You know,
I want to deserve to be here.
2017
01:41:48,144 --> 01:41:49,270
Was I the best?
2018
01:41:49,437 --> 01:41:51,815
Who's to say who's
the best or the worst?
2019
01:41:51,981 --> 01:41:53,358
I'm better than she is.
2020
01:41:53,441 --> 01:41:55,944
No, you're not. It goes
Violet, me, you, then Doug.
2021
01:41:56,027 --> 01:41:58,655
What do these
labels even mean?
2022
01:41:59,030 --> 01:42:01,624
Look, just answer me.
Did I deserve the job
2023
01:42:01,699 --> 01:42:03,576
or did I get it because you're
trying to keep me here?
2024
01:42:03,659 --> 01:42:04,956
It's very simple, Winton.
2025
01:42:05,328 --> 01:42:07,080
Violet, why don't
you trust me?
2026
01:42:07,163 --> 01:42:09,291
If you make me answer
that question,
2027
01:42:09,373 --> 01:42:11,876
you're violating our
unspoken agreement of faith.
2028
01:42:12,084 --> 01:42:13,210
What does that mean?
What are you talking about?
2029
01:42:13,294 --> 01:42:15,137
Well, the question
itself is an accusation.
2030
01:42:15,212 --> 01:42:19,058
And I, personally, refuse to
answer an illogical question.
2031
01:42:19,717 --> 01:42:20,889
Thanks, Spock.
2032
01:42:20,968 --> 01:42:22,060
Spock.
2033
01:42:22,136 --> 01:42:23,888
That's a good one. Yeah.
That's a good one.
2034
01:42:23,971 --> 01:42:26,815
I mean, it seems that your refusal
to answer means that it's true.
2035
01:42:27,308 --> 01:42:29,151
I'll tell you who's the best.
2036
01:42:35,483 --> 01:42:36,450
Ming.
2037
01:42:36,525 --> 01:42:37,993
Yes! I knew it.
2038
01:42:38,194 --> 01:42:39,366
(IN SING-SONG) I'm the
best, I'm the best.
2039
01:42:39,445 --> 01:42:41,368
What the fuck?
2040
01:42:41,822 --> 01:42:43,244
Ming is the best.
2041
01:42:43,324 --> 01:42:44,951
VIOLET: So, you cheated
to get me the job.
2042
01:42:45,034 --> 01:42:48,755
So what if I cheated to get the
woman I love to stick around?
2043
01:42:48,829 --> 01:42:49,921
I have a question.
2044
01:42:49,997 --> 01:42:51,920
Would you have even considered
my donut experiment
2045
01:42:51,999 --> 01:42:53,171
if Doug had suggested it?
2046
01:42:53,542 --> 01:42:54,589
Of course not.
2047
01:42:54,752 --> 01:42:55,844
(SCOFFING)
2048
01:42:55,920 --> 01:42:56,967
WOW!
2049
01:42:58,172 --> 01:42:59,890
Wow.
Okay.
2050
01:43:02,259 --> 01:43:04,307
In a way, Ming, it's like
their whole relationship
2051
01:43:04,387 --> 01:43:06,435
was the donut experiment.
2052
01:43:06,514 --> 01:43:08,016
Nice.
Thank you.
2053
01:43:08,391 --> 01:43:10,018
Fine, fine, fine.
2054
01:43:12,019 --> 01:43:14,613
There will be new
students next year.
2055
01:43:14,689 --> 01:43:16,066
There's always a new Violet.
2056
01:43:17,733 --> 01:43:19,280
Oh, no!
Oh!
2057
01:43:19,360 --> 01:43:20,737
VANEETHA: He did not.
2058
01:43:20,861 --> 01:43:21,862
Um...
Oh.
2059
01:43:21,946 --> 01:43:24,449
This was...
Yeah.
2060
01:43:24,532 --> 01:43:25,624
Oh, my God!
2061
01:43:25,700 --> 01:43:28,374
VANEETHA: Turn off the light. Turn
off the light, turn off the light.
2062
01:43:29,704 --> 01:43:31,001
Violet.
2063
01:44:21,589 --> 01:44:24,138
These pancakes are delicious.
Mmm.
2064
01:44:24,508 --> 01:44:27,182
They put a cinnamon glaze.
They're dreamy.
2065
01:44:27,261 --> 01:44:28,387
You shouldn't
be eating them.
2066
01:44:28,471 --> 01:44:29,518
It's good.
2067
01:44:29,597 --> 01:44:32,225
It's why we're here.
We're here to eat, right?
2068
01:44:32,308 --> 01:44:33,355
So, um,
2069
01:44:34,727 --> 01:44:37,276
how about Violet?
How is she doing?
2070
01:44:37,813 --> 01:44:39,781
I don't know. You know?
2071
01:44:39,857 --> 01:44:41,609
She still with
that professor guy?
2072
01:44:41,692 --> 01:44:43,444
I don't know.
2073
01:44:43,527 --> 01:44:45,200
CAROL: What are you doing?
2074
01:44:45,279 --> 01:44:46,781
What are you doing, Tom?
2075
01:44:47,281 --> 01:44:49,454
I'm just... I'm trying
to eat my breakfast, Ma.
2076
01:44:49,533 --> 01:44:53,254
I mean with Violet, and you know it.
Three grandparents are gone.
2077
01:44:53,329 --> 01:44:57,050
Your grandparents, long gone. You
know who goes next, don't you?
2078
01:44:57,124 --> 01:44:59,172
Us. We go next.
Jesus, Dad.
2079
01:44:59,251 --> 01:45:01,049
Please don't do this, guys.
2080
01:45:01,128 --> 01:45:02,880
He's not kidding.
Not kidding.
2081
01:45:02,963 --> 01:45:04,636
He's on three different
heart medications.
2082
01:45:04,715 --> 01:45:06,308
That's right. Three of them.
Mmm-hmm.
2083
01:45:06,383 --> 01:45:08,385
What are you talking about?
Since when?
2084
01:45:08,469 --> 01:45:10,016
Since my last
heart attack.
2085
01:45:10,846 --> 01:45:13,065
Dad, you had a heart attack?
(SIGHS)
2086
01:45:13,140 --> 01:45:14,733
I had two, actually.
2087
01:45:14,809 --> 01:45:17,528
The last one was right
after Mom's cancer scare.
2088
01:45:17,978 --> 01:45:19,480
A cancer scare?
What are you...
2089
01:45:19,647 --> 01:45:21,775
Why didn't you guys
tell me any of this?
2090
01:45:21,857 --> 01:45:23,655
PETE: Well, we didn't
want to bother you.
2091
01:45:23,734 --> 01:45:25,782
No. It wasn't your affair.
2092
01:45:26,111 --> 01:45:28,864
Well, is there anything else
you guys haven't told me?
2093
01:45:28,948 --> 01:45:30,245
Well, what else have we...
2094
01:45:30,324 --> 01:45:32,577
There's a lot we haven't told you, darling.
We don't share everything.
2095
01:45:32,660 --> 01:45:33,627
Your mother was...
2096
01:45:33,702 --> 01:45:35,750
She was briefly hospitalized
for emotional issues.
2097
01:45:35,830 --> 01:45:36,831
Well, yes, that's true.
2098
01:45:36,914 --> 01:45:37,915
Yeah.
2099
01:45:38,332 --> 01:45:41,051
We told you we were in a
timeshare on Sanibel Island.
2100
01:45:41,335 --> 01:45:43,929
Wait, you guys have gone
there, like, four times.
2101
01:45:44,004 --> 01:45:47,850
Well, at least one of the
times, we weren't really there.
2102
01:45:48,592 --> 01:45:51,641
I had vaginal reconstruction
surgery last year.
2103
01:45:52,513 --> 01:45:54,265
PETE: That stuff
really works.
2104
01:45:54,348 --> 01:45:57,352
And that's why we don't share
everything with our children.
2105
01:45:59,687 --> 01:46:02,736
I think I understand why
I have communication issues.
2106
01:46:03,190 --> 01:46:04,533
Thank you.
Ma.
2107
01:46:04,692 --> 01:46:06,569
Maybe you should slow down
on the Bloody Marys.
2108
01:46:06,735 --> 01:46:07,861
I don't think
you need any more.
2109
01:46:08,696 --> 01:46:09,913
Oh.
Let her have it.
2110
01:46:10,281 --> 01:46:11,954
CAROL: You're going to
tell me what to do? No.
2111
01:46:12,032 --> 01:46:12,999
Let her have a drink.
2112
01:46:13,075 --> 01:46:15,954
I am going to ask you again.
What are you doing with Violet?
2113
01:46:16,036 --> 01:46:18,038
You're being dumb.
2114
01:46:18,122 --> 01:46:21,342
You are being so
fucking dumb, you idiot.
2115
01:46:21,417 --> 01:46:23,340
You love Violet.
I love Violet,
2116
01:46:23,419 --> 01:46:26,013
your father loves Violet
and you're letting her go?
2117
01:46:26,088 --> 01:46:27,385
Fuck you, you dummy.
2118
01:46:29,717 --> 01:46:30,809
Wow.
2119
01:46:31,385 --> 01:46:33,854
(LAUGHING) Since when do
you talk like this?
2120
01:46:33,929 --> 01:46:35,397
It's not funny, Tom.
2121
01:46:36,223 --> 01:46:37,600
Okay, fine.
2122
01:46:38,142 --> 01:46:39,359
What are you doing?
2123
01:46:39,435 --> 01:46:41,108
Look, we're not 100%
right for each other.
2124
01:46:41,186 --> 01:46:43,188
And so, there's
nothing to be said.
2125
01:46:43,272 --> 01:46:45,445
CAROL: I got news
for you, moron,
2126
01:46:45,608 --> 01:46:49,988
your father and I, we're not
even 90% right for each other.
2127
01:46:50,070 --> 01:46:53,244
Not even 60, okay?
But he's the love of my life.
2128
01:46:53,324 --> 01:46:55,577
And right now, the love of
your life is going to fly away
2129
01:46:55,659 --> 01:46:58,003
and I bet somewhere in the back
of your mind, you're thinking
2130
01:46:58,078 --> 01:47:00,206
that she'll always be there
if you want to try again,
2131
01:47:00,289 --> 01:47:02,712
but you know what? She won't,
because she's the goddamned best!
2132
01:47:02,791 --> 01:47:06,091
And some lucky guy is going to make
it work with her no matter what.
2133
01:47:06,170 --> 01:47:09,845
Instead of settling for some
23-year-old airhead
2134
01:47:09,924 --> 01:47:13,144
who probably doesn't know
who the fucking Beatles are.
2135
01:47:19,642 --> 01:47:21,235
Had to be said.
2136
01:47:22,686 --> 01:47:24,688
Hi, I missed you today.
2137
01:47:25,189 --> 01:47:26,691
That's nice.
2138
01:47:32,029 --> 01:47:33,030
(LAUGHS NERVOUSLY)
2139
01:47:33,113 --> 01:47:34,956
Listen, I need to
2140
01:47:35,741 --> 01:47:36,742
(SMACKS ups)
2141
01:47:36,825 --> 01:47:39,578
talk to you about
something, Audrey.
2142
01:47:42,456 --> 01:47:44,754
What's behind
those eyes, Tom?
2143
01:47:46,627 --> 01:47:51,133
My ex-fiancée has
been on my mind a lot
2144
01:47:51,799 --> 01:47:54,018
and I feel like that's
something I need to explore.
2145
01:47:55,344 --> 01:47:57,267
Well, she's an old bitch!
There.
2146
01:47:57,346 --> 01:47:59,815
I just explored it for you.
Done?
2147
01:48:02,476 --> 01:48:04,570
(SOFTLY) It's hard to have
this conversation with you.
2148
01:48:04,645 --> 01:48:06,238
You need to explore it, Tom?
2149
01:48:06,313 --> 01:48:09,237
You were with her for five fucking years.
That's a really long time.
2150
01:48:09,316 --> 01:48:10,659
What else is there
to learn about her?
2151
01:48:10,818 --> 01:48:12,411
(GROWLS) Oh, God!
2152
01:48:12,486 --> 01:48:13,908
I don't really know
the answer to that,
2153
01:48:13,988 --> 01:48:15,410
but I just think
I need to find out.
2154
01:48:15,489 --> 01:48:17,583
What are you thinking?
You're so stupid.
2155
01:48:17,658 --> 01:48:19,752
You're so stupid.
You're going to leave me?
2156
01:48:19,827 --> 01:48:21,170
You're going to leave this?
2157
01:48:21,245 --> 01:48:24,670
For saggy tits and
a loose vagina? Really?
2158
01:48:25,416 --> 01:48:26,838
Oh, God!
2159
01:48:28,335 --> 01:48:29,928
I'm sorry to do this to you.
2160
01:48:30,004 --> 01:48:31,426
Shut the fuck up.
2161
01:48:31,505 --> 01:48:33,883
You know what?
You should just go, Tom.
2162
01:48:33,966 --> 01:48:37,266
Just go. Go have fun.
Have fun with your old woman.
2163
01:48:37,344 --> 01:48:39,062
Go fucking read
at night together.
2164
01:48:39,138 --> 01:48:40,685
You can go through
menopause together.
2165
01:48:40,764 --> 01:48:42,766
And you can go get
your little prostates checked.
2166
01:48:42,850 --> 01:48:44,944
Check each other
for lumps all the time
2167
01:48:45,019 --> 01:48:47,021
and do those kinds
of things together.
2168
01:48:47,104 --> 01:48:50,278
And then go get some Crocs,
so your back doesn't hurt.
2169
01:48:50,357 --> 01:48:52,280
And then you can
go walk on the beach
2170
01:48:52,359 --> 01:48:55,454
and fuck each other with
your gross, wrinkly balls.
2171
01:48:55,696 --> 01:48:58,449
That's another thing.
You're getting fucking fat.
2172
01:48:58,866 --> 01:49:00,960
It's really hard to
have sex with someone
2173
01:49:01,035 --> 01:49:03,129
when you can't breathe
underneath them.
2174
01:49:03,203 --> 01:49:06,628
Can't breathe! Like, I feel like
I'm going to die every time.
2175
01:49:06,707 --> 01:49:07,959
(SIGHS)
2176
01:49:08,042 --> 01:49:11,342
You should leave.
I'm going to say mean things.
2177
01:49:14,590 --> 01:49:15,716
(SOFTLY) Bye
2178
01:49:16,633 --> 01:49:17,634
(BABY WAILING)
2179
01:49:17,718 --> 01:49:19,891
PRIEST: He makes me lie
down in green pastures
2180
01:49:19,970 --> 01:49:22,439
and leads me
beside still waters.
2181
01:49:23,098 --> 01:49:27,649
He shall refresh my soul and guide
me in the path of righteousness...
2182
01:49:27,728 --> 01:49:29,605
You're my good one.
(WAILING LOUDLY)
2183
01:49:30,564 --> 01:49:32,362
I am so mad, Alex,
when you say that.
2184
01:49:32,441 --> 01:49:34,284
ALEX: At least I'm not
the one failing as a parent.
2185
01:49:34,359 --> 01:49:35,861
It's all right.
It's all right.
2186
01:49:35,944 --> 01:49:37,821
ALEX: Give him
a couple Vicodin.
2187
01:49:42,159 --> 01:49:43,877
Wow. Hi.
Hi.
2188
01:49:44,203 --> 01:49:45,921
Hello.
Hello, Gideon.
2189
01:49:45,996 --> 01:49:47,748
Didn't expect
to see you.
2190
01:49:47,998 --> 01:49:50,251
Just came to say
goodbye properly.
2191
01:49:50,667 --> 01:49:52,590
To my grandmother or...
2192
01:49:52,961 --> 01:49:56,511
Yeah. We actually grew pretty
close towards the end.
2193
01:49:57,257 --> 01:49:58,258
Oh, yeah?
2194
01:49:58,509 --> 01:50:01,513
So, how are you and Tom?
Any kids yet?
2195
01:50:01,845 --> 01:50:02,846
Mmm...
2196
01:50:02,930 --> 01:50:06,275
No. Tom and I split up
a little while ago, so...
2197
01:50:06,350 --> 01:50:07,567
Oh! I'm sorry.
2198
01:50:07,768 --> 01:50:09,270
It has been four
years, of course.
2199
01:50:10,354 --> 01:50:11,355
Hmm?
2200
01:50:12,189 --> 01:50:14,283
Nothing. I...
No, go on. What?
2201
01:50:14,817 --> 01:50:16,945
"Four years, of course" what?
Doesn't make sense.
2202
01:50:17,694 --> 01:50:19,537
That's what you do.
2203
01:50:19,738 --> 01:50:23,709
Is it? Is it what I do? Well,
let me just tell you something.
2204
01:50:23,909 --> 01:50:26,207
Tom and I split up
because it wasn't working.
2205
01:50:26,286 --> 01:50:28,163
Not because we weren't perfect
enough for each other.
2206
01:50:28,247 --> 01:50:30,545
Not because I had him
on a four-year timeline.
2207
01:50:30,707 --> 01:50:31,799
Okay'? So don't...
2208
01:50:31,875 --> 01:50:33,127
Um...
2209
01:50:33,210 --> 01:50:34,427
This is my daughter.
2210
01:50:35,295 --> 01:50:36,296
Sorry.
2211
01:50:36,380 --> 01:50:37,427
She's four.
2212
01:50:37,714 --> 01:50:39,387
This is what
four looks like.
2213
01:50:40,509 --> 01:50:42,807
Hello.
What's your name?
2214
01:50:42,886 --> 01:50:44,229
Violet.
2215
01:50:46,098 --> 01:50:47,771
Regret calling her
that now.
2216
01:50:48,058 --> 01:50:50,902
Keep meaning to changed it,
but it's a lot of paperwork.
2217
01:50:51,687 --> 01:50:52,984
And I don't want
to confuse her.
2218
01:50:54,314 --> 01:50:56,908
Come on, darling. Let's go
and look at the coffin.
2219
01:51:14,251 --> 01:51:15,468
Tom.
2220
01:51:16,420 --> 01:51:19,048
Hi.
2221
01:51:21,133 --> 01:51:23,056
I'm just realizing now, it
might be totally inappropriate
2222
01:51:23,135 --> 01:51:24,682
for me to just
show up like this
2223
01:51:24,761 --> 01:51:26,604
but Alex and Suzie
told me what happened.
2224
01:51:26,763 --> 01:51:29,107
I'm so sorry about
Grandma Katherine.
2225
01:51:29,600 --> 01:51:32,945
She was sort of the only person in
your family who was ever nice to me.
2226
01:51:34,062 --> 01:51:36,861
And I just felt
like I should come.
2227
01:51:38,108 --> 01:51:40,406
But if that's inappropriate,
or weird at all,
2228
01:51:40,485 --> 01:51:42,032
I can totally go
back to the hotel
2229
01:51:42,112 --> 01:51:44,160
or take a tour of the Tower
of London, or something.
2230
01:51:44,239 --> 01:51:47,163
No, no, it's not.
It's...
2231
01:51:48,744 --> 01:51:50,917
It's really nice
to see you.
2232
01:51:52,289 --> 01:51:54,007
It's nice to
see you, too.
2233
01:52:03,967 --> 01:52:05,435
(LAUGHS)
2234
01:52:27,950 --> 01:52:30,044
So, what do we do now?
(BOTH LAUGHING)
2235
01:52:34,164 --> 01:52:37,293
Fall semester doesn't
start until August 14th.
2236
01:52:37,709 --> 01:52:40,337
I know that this
sounds crazy,
2237
01:52:41,838 --> 01:52:44,717
but why don't you just come
back to San Francisco with me?
2238
01:52:44,800 --> 01:52:48,555
You could see your sister and we could
spend a couple of weeks together.
2239
01:52:49,805 --> 01:52:51,899
We don't have to worry
about what it means.
2240
01:52:52,224 --> 01:52:54,477
Then we'll go
our separate ways.
2241
01:52:54,643 --> 01:52:55,769
Okay.
2242
01:52:56,561 --> 01:53:01,067
Just, separately, like, I think it's
time to take down the Wham! posters.
2243
01:53:01,149 --> 01:53:02,651
(BOTH LAUGH)
2244
01:53:08,949 --> 01:53:10,371
(INDISTINCT)
2245
01:53:17,624 --> 01:53:18,716
Yeah?
2246
01:53:19,042 --> 01:53:20,089
Whoo!
2247
01:53:23,005 --> 01:53:24,348
Thank you.
2248
01:53:27,342 --> 01:53:28,685
(LAUGHING)
2249
01:53:57,372 --> 01:54:00,091
I'm getting all
pieces that are here.
2250
01:54:00,167 --> 01:54:01,669
VIOLET: Here, use these ones.
2251
01:54:02,127 --> 01:54:03,800
(TOY CLATTERS)
VIOLET: Oops! Ooh...
2252
01:54:03,879 --> 01:54:05,426
We lost a tower.
SUZIE: Oh, no, the tower.
2253
01:54:05,505 --> 01:54:06,631
VIOLET: That's it.
2254
01:54:06,923 --> 01:54:10,143
So, you know I'm keeping Tom
company this week, right?
2255
01:54:10,510 --> 01:54:11,636
Yeah.
2256
01:54:11,720 --> 01:54:13,097
(LAUGHS)
2257
01:54:13,263 --> 01:54:16,642
Alex keeps him company without
also having sex with him.
2258
01:54:17,267 --> 01:54:18,439
I assume.
2259
01:54:18,685 --> 01:54:20,153
What does that mean?
2260
01:54:20,228 --> 01:54:22,401
Mommy, do Elmo voice.
2261
01:54:23,940 --> 01:54:27,820
(MIMICKING ELMO) Elmo thinks you
should do what you feel is right.
2262
01:54:28,028 --> 01:54:29,280
(LAUGHING)
2263
01:54:29,363 --> 01:54:32,617
Well, I don't really know what I think is right.
I think I'm just...
2264
01:54:32,741 --> 01:54:34,789
You know, time will
tell, I think.
2265
01:54:35,619 --> 01:54:38,839
(MIMICKING ELMO) Elmo
thinks time will tell.
2266
01:54:38,914 --> 01:54:40,712
Would you mind not
doing that Elmo voice?
2267
01:54:40,791 --> 01:54:42,759
'Cause really, you're repeating
back what I'm saying.
2268
01:54:42,834 --> 01:54:46,134
Honestly, (MIMICKING ELMO) Elmo thinks
you should shit or get off the pot.
2269
01:54:46,213 --> 01:54:47,214
Whoa! Whoa! Whoa!
2270
01:54:47,297 --> 01:54:49,220
Aunt Violet,
do Cookie Monster.
2271
01:54:52,302 --> 01:54:55,647
(MIMICKING COOKIE MONSTER) Me think
that's a really rude thing to say, Elmo.
2272
01:54:55,722 --> 01:54:56,814
(LAUGHING)
2273
01:54:58,183 --> 01:55:02,905
Elmo say it been five years,
almost five years.
2274
01:55:02,979 --> 01:55:04,606
You either love him,
or you don't.
2275
01:55:04,689 --> 01:55:07,442
Me love him, but it's
very complicated.
2276
01:55:07,609 --> 01:55:09,737
Cookie doesn't get
everything handed to him
2277
01:55:09,820 --> 01:55:12,243
on a (WHISPERS) fucking
silver platter like Elmo.
2278
01:55:12,948 --> 01:55:15,827
Cookie got the
career he wanted.
2279
01:55:15,909 --> 01:55:18,628
Tom moved to Michigan
so Cookie could work.
2280
01:55:18,703 --> 01:55:21,957
Okay. Elmo wanted
to be a kinesiologist
2281
01:55:22,040 --> 01:55:26,591
and instead, Elmo is cleaning
puke off her shirt every day.
2282
01:55:26,670 --> 01:55:29,674
Well, maybe as nice
as these little Elmos are,
2283
01:55:29,756 --> 01:55:31,929
Elmo should have considered
using protection.
2284
01:55:32,134 --> 01:55:35,229
"C" is for condom. That's
good enough for me.
2285
01:55:35,554 --> 01:55:40,685
Elmo is very happy with
Elmo's little Elmos, okay?
2286
01:55:40,767 --> 01:55:43,270
Elmo would just like
a break once in a while.
2287
01:55:43,395 --> 01:55:44,567
Fine.
Elmo never gets a break.
2288
01:55:44,646 --> 01:55:48,071
This is fine. But this is precisely
why Cookie wants to take the time
2289
01:55:48,150 --> 01:55:51,029
to consider if he's picked
the right cookie for his life.
2290
01:55:51,111 --> 01:55:54,035
Well, maybe Elmo thinks
there is no right cookie.
2291
01:55:54,114 --> 01:55:56,287
You just pick one
and take a bite.
2292
01:56:03,832 --> 01:56:05,175
(IN NORMAL VOICE) Sorry.
2293
01:56:07,794 --> 01:56:10,638
(MIMICKING ELMO)
Elmo is sorry, too.
2294
01:56:12,466 --> 01:56:13,467
(SIGHS)
2295
01:56:13,550 --> 01:56:15,018
Whose was better?
2296
01:56:15,594 --> 01:56:17,062
Mommy's better.
2297
01:56:20,557 --> 01:56:24,812
(MIMICKING ELMO) The worst choice
you can make is no choice at all.
2298
01:56:26,396 --> 01:56:30,117
Okay? Snack time!
Time for a snack.
2299
01:56:30,859 --> 01:56:33,658
Huh? It's time
for a snack.
2300
01:56:35,071 --> 01:56:36,163
(EXCLAIMING PLAYFULLY)
2301
01:56:36,239 --> 01:56:39,038
My favorite! Just kidding.
I love you both.
2302
01:56:40,410 --> 01:56:41,912
Come get a snack.
2303
01:56:49,711 --> 01:56:51,258
What time is your flight?
2304
01:56:51,338 --> 01:56:52,590
Um... 1235.
2305
01:56:57,177 --> 01:56:59,521
This is stupid.
What are we doing?
2306
01:56:59,596 --> 01:57:00,688
What do you mean?
2307
01:57:00,764 --> 01:57:02,437
I drive a taco truck.
2308
01:57:02,599 --> 01:57:05,944
Okay? I can work anywhere,
and it's just ridiculous.
2309
01:57:07,521 --> 01:57:10,115
It's stupid for us
not to give this another shot.
2310
01:57:11,107 --> 01:57:13,451
Because I love you so much.
2311
01:57:14,444 --> 01:57:16,822
And I'm not going
to let you go.
2312
01:57:17,197 --> 01:57:19,450
Do you remember
the day that we first met?
2313
01:57:19,616 --> 01:57:22,039
The New Year's Eve party.
2314
01:57:22,118 --> 01:57:23,461
Yeah, how can I forget?
2315
01:57:27,374 --> 01:57:30,878
Do you remember how a year
later, we made that list
2316
01:57:30,961 --> 01:57:32,838
of what our marriage
would be like?
2317
01:57:33,380 --> 01:57:35,223
We were going to have 50 kids.
2318
01:57:35,298 --> 01:57:37,346
If I recall,
we settled on 25.
2319
01:57:37,425 --> 01:57:39,268
We did settle on 25.
2320
01:57:42,222 --> 01:57:43,565
That was so dumb.
2321
01:57:43,974 --> 01:57:45,146
(LAUGHS)
2322
01:57:45,600 --> 01:57:47,602
Okay, I'm going to need you
to pull off on this exit.
2323
01:57:47,686 --> 01:57:48,778
Why?
2324
01:57:49,062 --> 01:57:51,064
Just pull over on
this exit over here.
2325
01:57:51,147 --> 01:57:52,114
No, we can just...
2326
01:57:52,232 --> 01:57:53,484
Tom, you're going to miss it!
Quick. Whoa! Whoa! Whoa!
2327
01:57:55,110 --> 01:57:56,703
What are you doing?
Sorry. I'm sorry.
2328
01:57:56,820 --> 01:57:58,914
It was just imperative that we
stopped at the exit. Well, why?
2329
01:57:58,989 --> 01:58:01,162
Because I'm trying
to propose to you.
2330
01:58:09,082 --> 01:58:11,255
I don't think that
we can figure out
2331
01:58:11,334 --> 01:58:13,757
all of our problems
before we get married.
2332
01:58:13,837 --> 01:58:17,011
And I'm pretty sure
we'll have some after.
2333
01:58:17,090 --> 01:58:19,138
But I promise you that
I will just love you
2334
01:58:19,217 --> 01:58:21,015
every step of the way.
2335
01:58:21,094 --> 01:58:22,687
So, yes or no?
2336
01:58:35,275 --> 01:58:38,324
I was going to re-propose to you
when we got to the airport.
2337
01:58:38,653 --> 01:58:41,406
(LAUGHING) You were? Tom.
2338
01:58:43,867 --> 01:58:45,210
Oh, Tom.
2339
01:58:48,371 --> 01:58:49,372
(WHISPERS) I love it.
2340
01:58:49,956 --> 01:58:51,333
It's a ruby.
2341
01:58:51,416 --> 01:58:52,838
(LAUGHING)
2342
01:58:55,378 --> 01:58:56,504
What do you say?
2343
01:58:56,713 --> 01:58:58,886
What do you say?
I asked you first.
2344
01:59:00,050 --> 01:59:02,974
You've made me, like, the
happiest girl in the world.
2345
01:59:10,226 --> 01:59:13,901
Okay, I'm going to need you to
go off to Alamo Square now.
2346
01:59:14,397 --> 01:59:15,398
What are you talk...
2347
01:59:15,482 --> 01:59:17,280
I'm going to need you to go
to Alamo Square please, babe.
2348
01:59:17,359 --> 01:59:18,485
What are you talking about?
2349
01:59:18,568 --> 01:59:19,740
Babe, please, just do it.
2350
01:59:19,903 --> 01:59:21,826
Don't think about it.
Just drive.
2351
01:59:22,989 --> 01:59:24,411
Do you have, like,
a thing planned?
2352
01:59:27,410 --> 01:59:29,208
(BOTH LAUGHING)
2353
01:59:36,920 --> 01:59:39,844
Hey, what are you doing? Did you
come to pick up the receipts?
2354
01:59:39,923 --> 01:59:40,924
Did you buy it?
2355
01:59:41,007 --> 01:59:42,008
Yes, he bought it.
2356
01:59:42,342 --> 01:59:43,844
I can't believe this.
2357
01:59:43,927 --> 01:59:45,144
I told you he would.
2358
01:59:45,220 --> 01:59:46,267
What is going on?
2359
01:59:46,346 --> 01:59:48,144
Here. Come on!
This way, babe.
2360
01:59:48,223 --> 01:59:49,691
We're on site.
"On site"?
2361
01:59:49,766 --> 01:59:51,313
(TOM LAUGHING)
2362
01:59:52,227 --> 01:59:53,774
Okay, we have some
fast decisions to make.
2363
01:59:53,853 --> 01:59:57,198
Do you want a string quartet,
or a New Orleans brass band?
2364
01:59:57,273 --> 01:59:59,275
What about synthesizer dude?
2365
01:59:59,609 --> 02:00:01,828
VIOLET: Oh, I have no idea who that is.
He must have just shown up.
2366
02:00:01,903 --> 02:00:03,701
Oh. New Orleans brass band.
2367
02:00:03,780 --> 02:00:05,248
New Orleans brass band.
All right!
2368
02:00:05,615 --> 02:00:07,117
(BAND PLAYING DIXIELAND MUSIC)
2369
02:00:11,538 --> 02:00:13,040
(GIGGLES)
2370
02:00:13,123 --> 02:00:15,842
Okay, do you want
Jewish, Christian,
2371
02:00:15,917 --> 02:00:17,544
extreme Christian,
Buddhist,
2372
02:00:17,627 --> 02:00:19,220
Justice of the Peace?
2373
02:00:19,295 --> 02:00:21,297
Justice of the Peace.
Justice of the Peace.
2374
02:00:24,259 --> 02:00:25,681
TOM: Oh, my God!
2375
02:00:25,760 --> 02:00:28,058
Okay, tuxes,
I've got three tuxes.
2376
02:00:28,138 --> 02:00:29,685
Standard, vintage,
Hawaiian casual?
2377
02:00:29,973 --> 02:00:32,146
Uh... Vintage.
Vintage.
2378
02:00:32,559 --> 02:00:34,061
Dad!
2379
02:00:34,394 --> 02:00:35,566
No time. No time.
2380
02:00:35,645 --> 02:00:37,022
All right now.
Get them off.
2381
02:00:37,105 --> 02:00:38,106
Dad, protect me.
2382
02:00:38,189 --> 02:00:40,317
(ALL CLAMORING)
2383
02:00:41,109 --> 02:00:42,827
Whoo! Mum! Suzie.
2384
02:00:44,154 --> 02:00:45,906
Mum, I think I
need to step into it.
2385
02:00:46,114 --> 02:00:48,242
Come on, Sylvia.
2386
02:00:48,324 --> 02:00:51,999
All right, all right, I'm going to drop
the sheet in three, two, one. Drop it.
2387
02:00:52,078 --> 02:00:54,126
No, no. Not me.
Just wait until the wedding.
2388
02:00:54,205 --> 02:00:55,252
Right.
Yes.
2389
02:00:55,331 --> 02:00:56,503
Oh, yeah.
Okay, of course.
2390
02:00:56,583 --> 02:00:57,584
Okay. Oh, Mum, my hair.
2391
02:00:57,667 --> 02:00:59,544
Hair on the move.
Hair on the move.
2392
02:00:59,711 --> 02:01:01,839
(BAND PLAYING
WEDDING MUSIC)
2393
02:01:03,923 --> 02:01:05,550
VIOLET: Spin around, Dad.
Here's the ring.
2394
02:01:05,633 --> 02:01:06,634
Is it done, Mum?
2395
02:01:06,718 --> 02:01:07,719
Yes, it's beautiful.
2396
02:01:09,012 --> 02:01:10,605
SUZIE: Ready?
Yeah.
2397
02:01:10,680 --> 02:01:13,274
Ready? One, two, three.
One, two, three.
2398
02:01:13,349 --> 02:01:14,771
There we go.
2399
02:01:18,104 --> 02:01:19,105
Wow.
2400
02:01:19,981 --> 02:01:21,324
(GIGGLES)
TOM: Beautiful.
2401
02:01:23,318 --> 02:01:25,446
Okay. Okay.
2402
02:01:25,528 --> 02:01:27,280
I love you, darling.
I love you, Mum.
2403
02:01:27,363 --> 02:01:28,455
Love you. Love you.
2404
02:01:28,531 --> 02:01:29,623
Bye, Dad.
2405
02:01:29,699 --> 02:01:31,201
Thank you.
2406
02:01:38,666 --> 02:01:40,418
You should get down there.
2407
02:01:40,502 --> 02:01:42,049
You must be out
of your mind.
2408
02:01:42,378 --> 02:01:43,880
I'm never letting go
of this hand again.
2409
02:01:44,047 --> 02:01:45,640
(LAUGHING)
Come on.
2410
02:02:14,702 --> 02:02:15,794
(INAUDIBLE)
2411
02:02:25,588 --> 02:02:29,468
JUSTICE OF THE PEACE: It has been
a longer trip for Tom and Violet
2412
02:02:29,551 --> 02:02:31,303
than it has
for most couples.
2413
02:02:31,386 --> 02:02:32,558
And yet the very
nature of...
2414
02:02:32,679 --> 02:02:34,431
You know what? You can just...
Just, you can skip it.
2415
02:02:34,514 --> 02:02:35,606
Yeah.
Yeah.
2416
02:02:35,765 --> 02:02:38,484
Well, it's two minutes
to midnight.
2417
02:02:40,103 --> 02:02:42,731
Got anyone to kiss at New Year's?
(LAUGHS)
2418
02:02:43,982 --> 02:02:45,575
Is that the best
you've got?
2419
02:02:47,861 --> 02:02:49,704
Kind of.
(LAUGHS NERVOUSLY)
2420
02:02:50,446 --> 02:02:51,743
Do you?
Yes.
2421
02:02:54,701 --> 02:02:56,419
Do you?
Yes.
2422
02:03:00,456 --> 02:03:02,299
You may kiss the bride.
2423
02:03:15,597 --> 02:03:17,065
Yeah!
(ALL CHEERING)
2424
02:03:17,140 --> 02:03:18,266
Whoo!
2425
02:03:20,143 --> 02:03:21,235
Whoo-hoo!
2426
02:03:23,479 --> 02:03:24,901
Oh, yay!
Yay!
2427
02:03:26,482 --> 02:03:28,155
I'm proud of you!
2428
02:03:30,028 --> 02:03:31,200
(LAUGHING)
2429
02:03:32,447 --> 02:03:33,949
(ALL CHEERING)
2430
02:03:34,824 --> 02:03:36,121
(SNIFFS)
2431
02:03:39,621 --> 02:03:41,089
Mom!
2432
02:03:41,164 --> 02:03:42,165
Whoo!
2433
02:03:45,126 --> 02:03:47,879
You finally did it,
you fucking assholes!
2434
02:03:55,345 --> 02:03:57,393
I love you.
2435
02:04:00,099 --> 02:04:01,396
We love you guys, too.
2436
02:04:02,352 --> 02:04:05,947
In fact, it makes us
feel like singing!
2437
02:04:06,022 --> 02:04:07,820
(SINGING ROMANTIC
SPANISH SONG)