1 00:00:14,200 --> 00:00:17,960 We're approaching insertion target area, about a mile from your D.Z. 2 00:00:18,120 --> 00:00:19,880 You ready, WD-40? 3 00:00:21,480 --> 00:00:24,240 I never felt more ready in my life. 4 00:00:26,720 --> 00:00:29,520 Oh, damn! What the hell- Steele, are you crazy? 5 00:00:29,720 --> 00:00:33,360 Good afternoon, WD-40. 6 00:00:33,560 --> 00:00:36,600 We now begin "the free world's in double jeopardy" round of your mission. 7 00:00:36,800 --> 00:00:39,160 - He's a sadistic criminal mastermind... 8 00:00:39,360 --> 00:00:41,800 and international arms dealer who has brokered a deal... 9 00:00:41,960 --> 00:00:46,400 to sell a stolen Scorpion missile to a Middle Eastern terrorist cell. 10 00:00:46,600 --> 00:00:48,680 The question is. Who is Rancor? 13 00:00:48,880 --> 00:00:50,960 That's right. General Derwood Rancor. 14 00:00:51,080 --> 00:00:54,800 So why don't you begin your mission. And good luck to you, WD-40. 15 00:00:56,360 --> 00:00:58,920 And don't forget, WD-40, as always, 16 00:00:58,960 --> 00:01:02,000 this tape will self-destruct in three seconds. 17 00:01:02,240 --> 00:01:06,720 Steele! 18 00:01:51,840 --> 00:01:54,520 General Rancor, your chopper's waiting. 19 00:01:54,720 --> 00:01:58,640 Fine. Be there in a minute. I ain't done with this one yet. 20 00:01:58,640 --> 00:02:01,040 Talk to me, boy! 21 00:02:01,280 --> 00:02:06,080 He doesn't want to talk. Take him outside and shoot him. 22 00:02:16,200 --> 00:02:20,960 And when you shoot him, use the silencer. 23 00:02:37,120 --> 00:02:38,880 Thank you. Have a nice flight. 24 00:02:41,320 --> 00:02:43,080 Have a great flight. 25 00:02:43,240 --> 00:02:45,000 - Enjoy destroying the world, sir. - Thank you, ma'am, I will. 26 00:02:47,600 --> 00:02:50,120 I'm going in there. 27 00:02:50,280 --> 00:02:54,040 My God! Look at you. 28 00:02:54,200 --> 00:02:57,080 - You are such an incredible man. 29 00:02:58,680 --> 00:03:02,880 It's my job, darling. I do it for my country. 30 00:03:03,040 --> 00:03:06,720 Hmm? Oh. Good luck. 31 00:03:06,880 --> 00:03:09,280 Luck's got nothing to do with it. 32 00:03:28,960 --> 00:03:31,760 Nothing can stop me now! 33 00:03:32,000 --> 00:03:36,880 Not even that sanctimonious secret agent Boy Scout Dick- 34 00:03:36,880 --> 00:03:38,600 Yoo-hoo! 35 00:03:41,440 --> 00:03:43,240 Steele? 36 00:03:46,680 --> 00:03:49,320 - Oh, Dick, don't drop me! - Hold on! Whoa! Don't! 37 00:03:49,520 --> 00:03:53,240 - Grab my wrist! - Oh! 38 00:03:55,800 --> 00:04:00,200 Whoa! 39 00:04:00,360 --> 00:04:02,840 Don't drop me, Dick! Don't drop me! 40 00:04:03,040 --> 00:04:06,720 Honey? 41 00:04:27,120 --> 00:04:31,720 A man of intrigue He lives for the thrill 42 00:04:35,240 --> 00:04:40,360 Always has places to go and people to kill 43 00:04:42,800 --> 00:04:45,960 Danger is the game he plays 44 00:04:46,120 --> 00:04:50,160 And he holds every card 45 00:04:50,320 --> 00:04:53,040 'Cause if you wanna win 46 00:04:53,200 --> 00:04:56,720 You gotta spy hard 47 00:04:59,480 --> 00:05:04,240 A man of the world so suave and discreet 48 00:05:06,520 --> 00:05:11,960 He trips over the women piled up at his feet 49 00:05:15,320 --> 00:05:17,880 But evil's lurking 50 00:05:18,040 --> 00:05:22,520 So he's always on his guard 51 00:05:22,680 --> 00:05:25,440 'Cause if you're gonna spy 52 00:05:25,560 --> 00:05:30,720 You better spy hard 53 00:05:30,880 --> 00:05:34,080 He's always there 54 00:05:34,240 --> 00:05:38,680 When the chips are beginning to fall 55 00:05:38,880 --> 00:05:42,080 He wouldn't care 56 00:05:42,240 --> 00:05:44,640 If they kicked him and grabbed him 57 00:05:44,800 --> 00:05:46,640 And shot him and stabbed him 58 00:05:46,840 --> 00:05:50,400 And nailed both his ears to the wall 59 00:05:52,040 --> 00:05:54,400 Facing death every day 60 00:05:54,560 --> 00:05:57,760 Is a tough job for any man 61 00:05:59,200 --> 00:06:02,400 But his hours are flexible 62 00:06:02,640 --> 00:06:05,720 And he's got a great dental plan 63 00:06:07,280 --> 00:06:10,920 By the way if you walked in late 64 00:06:11,120 --> 00:06:14,760 Allow me to reiterate 65 00:06:14,960 --> 00:06:18,240 The name of this movie 66 00:06:18,480 --> 00:06:21,920 Is Spy Hard 67 00:06:22,160 --> 00:06:25,960 They call it Spy Hard 68 00:06:26,160 --> 00:06:29,440 You're watching Spy Hard 69 00:06:29,680 --> 00:06:35,840 It's the theme from Spy Hard 70 00:07:59,040 --> 00:08:03,440 Sir, I hate to disturb you, but we're picking up something interesting on the compound... 72 00:08:03,440 --> 00:08:05,720 - ...infrared detection system. - Well, what is it? 73 00:08:05,720 --> 00:08:07,680 Oh, it's this really neat security system, sir. 74 00:08:07,880 --> 00:08:12,040 - It picks up the body heat on the intruders- - Fine! What is it detecting? 75 00:08:12,160 --> 00:08:16,360 Oh, well, it looks like Agent Barbara Dahl, sir. 76 00:08:22,280 --> 00:08:25,240 Barbara Dahl? 77 00:08:25,440 --> 00:08:27,800 Hot damn! At last! 78 00:08:28,000 --> 00:08:29,800 Arm me. 79 00:08:31,440 --> 00:08:34,520 Yeah. Now, bring me the bait. 80 00:08:36,280 --> 00:08:38,080 Welcome, Miss Dahl. 81 00:08:38,240 --> 00:08:41,320 General Rancor would like to see you. Don't even think about it! 82 00:08:41,520 --> 00:08:44,040 Put the gun down! 83 00:08:49,400 --> 00:08:53,480 Move. Don't try anything funny. 84 00:08:53,680 --> 00:08:56,200 Oh, you morons! 85 00:08:56,320 --> 00:08:58,960 Let go! Oh! Oh! 86 00:08:59,160 --> 00:09:02,440 - Well, look at you. 87 00:09:02,640 --> 00:09:04,840 Barbara Dahl. 88 00:09:05,040 --> 00:09:08,200 If you ain't the spitting image of your mama. 89 00:09:08,360 --> 00:09:13,280 Don't you talk about my mother, you hybrid curiosity. 90 00:09:13,480 --> 00:09:15,560 My mother was twice the man you are. 91 00:09:15,720 --> 00:09:21,400 Hey, lady, I think you're carrying this "spitting image" thing a little bit too far. 93 00:09:21,600 --> 00:09:24,280 Now that I got Barbara Dahl, 94 00:09:24,440 --> 00:09:28,720 it's just a matter of time before Dick Steele comes to get her. 95 00:09:44,400 --> 00:09:46,280 Have you confirmed this transmission? 96 00:09:46,480 --> 00:09:49,120 I have. It's confirmed. It's Barbara Dahl. 97 00:09:49,320 --> 00:09:52,180 Who authorized Agent Barbara Dahl to go on this operation anyway? 98 00:09:52,220 --> 00:09:54,400 No one. She's working on her own. 99 00:09:54,640 --> 00:09:56,400 This one is personal, Coleman. 100 00:09:56,600 --> 00:10:00,400 Well, this personal mission may have cost a good agent her life... 101 00:10:00,600 --> 00:10:02,980 and put the entire free world in jeopardy. 102 00:10:02,980 --> 00:10:05,200 We must inform the director. 103 00:10:05,400 --> 00:10:08,420 This is the director. What is it, Coleman and Bishop? 104 00:10:08,460 --> 00:10:11,620 Sir, we've intercepted a very disturbing satellite transmission... 105 00:10:11,620 --> 00:10:13,480 from our listening post on the Rock of Gibraltar. 106 00:10:13,640 --> 00:10:16,260 - Well, what is it? - It's this really big rock... 107 00:10:16,260 --> 00:10:18,400 ...sticking out of the water on the south coast of Spain. 108 00:10:22,360 --> 00:10:24,160 What is the transmission? 109 00:10:24,320 --> 00:10:27,080 You will have to see it to believe it, sir. 110 00:10:38,840 --> 00:10:41,640 - You've got to put it on channel three. - No, four. 111 00:10:41,840 --> 00:10:45,500 - Switch it to VHS. - And take it off of cable. 112 00:10:45,500 --> 00:10:47,360 Put it on the monitor. 113 00:10:47,520 --> 00:10:50,560 And now this special message from Rancor Industries. 114 00:10:50,760 --> 00:10:53,240 She makes a pretty hood ornament, don't you think? 115 00:10:53,240 --> 00:10:58,080 - Rancor! - Yes, it is I, good old General Rancor. 116 00:10:58,280 --> 00:11:01,360 I'm back, big as life and twice as ugly. 117 00:11:01,560 --> 00:11:04,080 - But Steele blew him up! - Apparently not. 118 00:11:04,280 --> 00:11:08,680 You did everything except eat me, and I'm still alive. 120 00:11:08,840 --> 00:11:11,360 All Steele did was blow off a couple of arms. 121 00:11:11,560 --> 00:11:13,480 That's no biggie, no big thing. 122 00:11:13,640 --> 00:11:15,400 Now I got plenty of arms! 123 00:11:15,560 --> 00:11:19,880 Big arms. Pretty arms. 123 00:11:20,460 --> 00:11:23,880 I got arms the wall zoo. Now let me show yourself. 124 00:11:24,040 --> 00:11:27,080 Your pretty little agent is now part... 125 00:11:27,320 --> 00:11:29,560 ...of the nose cone on top of my missile. 126 00:11:29,760 --> 00:11:34,000 This missile will be launched in 36 hours... 127 00:11:34,200 --> 00:11:36,960 - and nothing will stop me! - He's a madman! 128 00:11:37,120 --> 00:11:40,200 Only thing is, I'm missing one little chip... 129 00:11:40,400 --> 00:11:44,700 that controls my satellite, and, daggone, I want it back! 130 00:11:44,740 --> 00:11:48,310 Now you hand me my chip, and I'll give you back your agent. 131 00:11:48,320 --> 00:11:51,280 Good God. He must be stopped! 132 00:11:51,440 --> 00:11:54,280 Dick Steele couldn't stop me 15 years ago, 133 00:11:54,480 --> 00:11:58,800 and all the dicks you've got won't stop me now! 134 00:11:59,040 --> 00:12:03,080 Apparently, he hasn't seen the size of some of our newer members! 136 00:12:03,080 --> 00:12:05,840 With the chip, he rules the world. 137 00:12:06,040 --> 00:12:09,840 Without the chip, he destroys the world and- 138 00:12:10,040 --> 00:12:13,520 Would you practice someplace else? I'm trying to think! 139 00:12:13,760 --> 00:12:17,760 The world? Ha! 140 00:12:17,920 --> 00:12:20,160 We all know what General Rancor really wants. 141 00:12:20,320 --> 00:12:22,480 - Steele. - That's right! 142 00:12:22,680 --> 00:12:25,800 - And we're going to give Steele to him. - Steele? 143 00:12:25,960 --> 00:12:30,600 Have you forgotten what happened the last time Steele was placed in the line of fire? 144 00:12:45,920 --> 00:12:49,740 We are stopping here. Traveller wants to mingle with the crowd. 145 00:13:14,560 --> 00:13:16,320 - Oh! Oh, my God! 146 00:13:16,360 --> 00:13:18,160 - Steele, what the hell are you doing? Get off me! 147 00:13:18,400 --> 00:13:21,320 - Get him in there! Get him in the limo! Cover him! 148 00:13:21,520 --> 00:13:25,320 Go, go, go! Go! Go, go! 149 00:13:31,240 --> 00:13:33,560 The bridge is out. 150 00:13:33,760 --> 00:13:36,920 Do not enter. The bridge is out. 151 00:13:36,920 --> 00:13:40,860 The bridge is out, damn it! Stop this car! 152 00:14:08,560 --> 00:14:10,880 Stay away from the window, sir. 153 00:14:11,040 --> 00:14:13,360 Steele, do something! 154 00:14:31,440 --> 00:14:33,500 Good job, Steele! Thanks! 155 00:14:33,500 --> 00:14:36,160 It's about time that jerk did something right. 156 00:14:36,320 --> 00:14:39,120 Hang on, Mr. President! 157 00:14:46,760 --> 00:14:50,920 The bridge is out. Do not enter. 158 00:14:52,320 --> 00:14:55,760 Thank God our president was one hell of a good swimmer. 159 00:14:56,000 --> 00:15:01,020 Nonetheless... there's only one man for this operation. 160 00:15:01,020 --> 00:15:03,920 Agent WD-40. Steele. 161 00:15:04,040 --> 00:15:06,080 Dick Steele. 162 00:15:06,240 --> 00:15:10,440 Dick, Dick, Dick Steele. 163 00:15:10,640 --> 00:15:12,960 Dick. 164 00:15:13,160 --> 00:15:17,400 Oh, Dick, that was incredible. 165 00:15:17,640 --> 00:15:19,520 - Thank you. 166 00:15:19,720 --> 00:15:21,680 Don't thank me, darling. 167 00:15:21,880 --> 00:15:25,520 The art of lovemaking takes two. 168 00:15:25,680 --> 00:15:29,880 Sometimes three or four, depending on how well you do at the crap tables. 169 00:15:30,120 --> 00:15:33,800 - Fore! - Well, my putter's up. 171 00:15:33,960 --> 00:15:36,680 Oh, Dick, I'm exhausted. 172 00:15:36,840 --> 00:15:41,640 - You are insatiable. - Fifteen minutes to tee- off time. 173 00:15:41,760 --> 00:15:45,140 I think there's something you and I should talk about openly and honestly... 174 00:15:45,140 --> 00:15:47,720 before I head off to my golf game. 175 00:15:47,920 --> 00:15:51,080 - What is it, Dick? - It's a game. 176 00:15:51,240 --> 00:15:54,120 People dress funny. Hit a little ball with clubs. 177 00:15:54,280 --> 00:15:56,200 Drinking is involved. 178 00:15:56,200 --> 00:15:58,320 Is something wrong, Dick? 179 00:15:58,480 --> 00:16:00,680 Whatever we've had between us, 180 00:16:00,840 --> 00:16:03,590 I think it's only fair that you know my heart still belongs... 181 00:16:03,590 --> 00:16:06,280 to the girl I fell in love with years ago. 182 00:16:06,480 --> 00:16:08,720 Victoria. She fell off a cliff. 183 00:16:08,880 --> 00:16:13,640 - She died. - Yes, I know. I was just getting to that. 185 00:16:13,800 --> 00:16:16,680 But after Victoria Dahl, well, I don't think... 186 00:16:16,880 --> 00:16:19,560 I'll ever find room for another woman in this... 187 00:16:19,720 --> 00:16:22,640 ripped-apart, torn-up, scarred, burned-out... 188 00:16:22,880 --> 00:16:25,200 lump in my chest... 189 00:16:25,400 --> 00:16:28,080 where a human heart once beat. 190 00:16:28,280 --> 00:16:31,320 I hope you understand what I'm trying to say to you. 191 00:16:31,480 --> 00:16:34,320 Oh, I'll live, Mr. Steele. 192 00:16:34,520 --> 00:16:38,320 It's your life I'm worried about. 193 00:16:38,520 --> 00:16:40,800 I'm glad you understand. 194 00:16:41,000 --> 00:16:44,880 I know how much these things can hurt. 195 00:16:45,080 --> 00:16:46,800 Mr. Steele. 196 00:16:47,040 --> 00:16:49,320 [ Woman ] Hi, Dick. 197 00:16:53,760 --> 00:16:55,480 - Hi, Mr. Steele! - Good morning, Mrs. Hudmucker. 198 00:16:55,680 --> 00:16:58,360 - Fore! - Watch out. 199 00:17:02,560 --> 00:17:04,920 - You all right? - Thank you. 200 00:17:05,120 --> 00:17:07,800 A little help, please? Thank you. 201 00:17:10,320 --> 00:17:14,840 Dinatelli foursome to starter's window. Mr. Jack Dinatelli. 202 00:17:15,040 --> 00:17:18,360 - Duck! 203 00:17:23,000 --> 00:17:25,480 - Dick, wait! 204 00:17:25,640 --> 00:17:29,800 Well, Steve! 205 00:17:30,000 --> 00:17:33,640 - Steve Bishop. You look great. - Thank you. We go back a long way, huh? 206 00:17:33,800 --> 00:17:35,200 Yeah. 207 00:17:37,320 --> 00:17:39,040 - Let's have a drink. - Okay. 208 00:17:39,240 --> 00:17:41,160 Just sit right there, Steve. 209 00:17:41,320 --> 00:17:43,680 - The usual, Mr. Steele? - You betcha. 210 00:17:43,680 --> 00:17:46,400 - Well, how's everything at the agency? - Ah, Dick... 211 00:17:46,600 --> 00:17:49,640 it used to be such fun killin' a few spies... 212 00:17:49,800 --> 00:17:52,200 with gas from a banana grenade. 213 00:17:52,440 --> 00:17:55,100 But now, huh, it's all bureaucratic politics. 214 00:17:55,120 --> 00:18:00,440 You gotta fill out 20 forms in triplicate just to take a piss! 216 00:18:16,280 --> 00:18:18,680 - Boy, that was fun. 217 00:18:18,840 --> 00:18:21,880 - Yeah. - Thank you! 218 00:18:22,080 --> 00:18:24,320 Oh, man, they don't do stuff like that at the agency any more. 219 00:18:24,480 --> 00:18:26,400 I'm sorry to hear that, Steve. 220 00:18:26,560 --> 00:18:28,840 - Uh, Dickie... there is something. - Relax, sugar. 221 00:18:29,000 --> 00:18:31,200 Steve, I'm out of the Service. 222 00:18:31,360 --> 00:18:33,960 There's a plot to launch a satellite. 223 00:18:34,080 --> 00:18:37,840 Now, I'm out of the Service. Talk about something else. 224 00:18:38,040 --> 00:18:39,760 - Bishop. - Bishop here. 225 00:18:39,760 --> 00:18:42,400 - Got a new lead. Gonna need you here. - Uh-huh. Yeah. 226 00:18:42,560 --> 00:18:44,820 - And get a dozen eggs and a gallon of milk. - Okay. I'll leave right away. 227 00:18:44,820 --> 00:18:46,200 Thank you, sir. 228 00:18:46,400 --> 00:18:48,480 No more headsets. 229 00:18:48,640 --> 00:18:50,560 Ear buttons. They put the receiver right in your head now. 230 00:18:50,720 --> 00:18:53,600 I gotta get back to the hotel. 231 00:18:53,760 --> 00:18:56,680 - The director wants you to see this. - I'm not interested, Steve. 232 00:18:56,920 --> 00:18:59,600 Please, Dickie. Take a look at the tape. 234 00:18:59,640 --> 00:19:01,320 It'll change your mind. 235 00:19:16,560 --> 00:19:18,840 Hmm-hmm. 236 00:19:30,440 --> 00:19:32,880 She makes a pretty hood ornament, don't you think? 237 00:19:33,080 --> 00:19:38,040 Yes, it is I, good old General Rancor. 238 00:19:38,040 --> 00:19:42,680 I'm back, big as life and twice as ugly. 239 00:19:45,400 --> 00:19:48,280 - All Steele did was blow off a couple of arms. - Rancor! 241 00:19:48,440 --> 00:19:49,400 That's no biggie, no big thing. Now I got plenty of arms. 242 00:19:49,440 --> 00:19:52,020 He can't be alive. 243 00:19:52,080 --> 00:19:55,280 - Your pretty Barbara Dahl- - My God! 244 00:19:55,340 --> 00:19:57,880 Barbara Dahl. 245 00:20:00,920 --> 00:20:05,320 Victoria... why would your daughter join the agency... 246 00:20:05,320 --> 00:20:07,160 knowing what happened to you? 247 00:20:07,360 --> 00:20:09,040 Why? 248 00:20:10,360 --> 00:20:12,120 Why? 249 00:20:12,360 --> 00:20:14,720 Why, why, why, why? 250 00:20:14,960 --> 00:20:20,320 Victoria Dahl... you were the only woman I ever loved. 251 00:20:20,520 --> 00:20:24,440 Raindrops keep fallin' on my head 252 00:20:24,600 --> 00:20:29,920 And just like the guy whose feet are too big for his bed 253 00:20:30,120 --> 00:20:32,800 - Nothin' seems to fit 254 00:20:33,000 --> 00:20:37,920 Those raindrops are fallin' on my head They keep fallin' 255 00:20:38,160 --> 00:20:43,520 So I just did me some talkin' to the sun 256 00:20:43,760 --> 00:20:49,120 And I said I didn't like the way he got things done 257 00:20:49,360 --> 00:20:51,800 Sleepin' on the job 258 00:20:52,000 --> 00:20:55,680 Those raindrops are fallin' on my head 259 00:20:55,840 --> 00:21:00,320 They keep fallin' But there's one thing 260 00:21:00,520 --> 00:21:02,440 I know 261 00:21:02,640 --> 00:21:06,200 The blues they sent to meet me 262 00:21:06,400 --> 00:21:09,080 Won't defeat me 263 00:21:09,240 --> 00:21:13,080 It won't be long 'til happiness 264 00:21:13,280 --> 00:21:15,320 Steps up to greet me 265 00:21:22,360 --> 00:21:24,280 Raindrops keep fallin' on my head 266 00:21:24,480 --> 00:21:27,720 But that doesn't mean my eyes will soon be turnin' red 267 00:21:27,720 --> 00:21:31,300 For today's top story, we now join Kelly Lange live downtown. 268 00:21:31,300 --> 00:21:33,700 Kelly Lange here for Channel 3 Island News. 269 00:21:33,760 --> 00:21:38,340 A tragic accident has claimed the life of a businessman identified as Steven Bishop, 270 00:21:38,340 --> 00:21:43,240 when a huge grand piano fell from the 17th floor of the Mayan Hotel... 271 00:21:43,260 --> 00:21:43,380 when a huge grand piano fell from the 17th floor of the Mayan Hotel... 272 00:21:43,420 --> 00:21:46,040 directly behind me and landed on his car. 273 00:21:46,160 --> 00:21:47,920 - An accident? - It seems the man was- 274 00:21:48,080 --> 00:21:50,160 - Having a kid at 60, that's an accident. 275 00:21:50,320 --> 00:21:53,680 Having a piano fall on you, that's... bad luck. 276 00:21:53,840 --> 00:21:57,360 We're told that they had to remove the driver's body from the oil pan of the car. 277 00:21:57,520 --> 00:21:59,760 - Police are ruling this as an accident. - Operator. 278 00:21:59,960 --> 00:22:02,160 Operator, get me Washington. 279 00:22:02,360 --> 00:22:04,160 - George? - D.C. 280 00:22:09,560 --> 00:22:12,560 I'll take care of the luggage, just some overnight things. 281 00:22:25,360 --> 00:22:28,120 - Bonjour, monsieur. - ... no parking. 282 00:22:28,280 --> 00:22:31,280 Do not leave your baggage unattended. 283 00:22:31,520 --> 00:22:34,400 It looks like you could use a hand. 284 00:22:37,440 --> 00:22:41,080 I'm afraid I'm pretty clumsy. 285 00:22:41,280 --> 00:22:45,040 - You must be headed to Los Angeles. - How do you know that? 286 00:22:45,240 --> 00:22:49,520 - It's written on your ticket. - Oh! Thank you. 287 00:22:49,680 --> 00:22:51,800 You are welcome. 288 00:22:52,000 --> 00:22:54,280 Have a nice flight, and I wish you adieu. 289 00:22:54,400 --> 00:22:57,800 Oh, thank you, but I'm quite satisfied with the 'do I have. 290 00:23:05,000 --> 00:23:08,200 If you want to see me again, turn around now. 291 00:23:17,800 --> 00:23:20,040 Aha. 292 00:23:29,720 --> 00:23:31,720 It's right here on the aisle. 293 00:23:31,880 --> 00:23:35,800 No, no, no. I asked for a window seat. 294 00:23:36,040 --> 00:23:39,120 I can't be getting up and down just because somebody wants to be getting in and out. 295 00:23:39,280 --> 00:23:41,780 I have too much to do. I always have a window seat. 296 00:23:41,720 --> 00:23:43,320 Excuse me, sir. 297 00:23:43,520 --> 00:23:47,400 - I was wondering, do you mind? - No problem. Please, be my guest. 298 00:23:47,560 --> 00:23:50,120 - Actually, I prefer an aisle seat. - Excuse me. Excuse me. 299 00:23:50,320 --> 00:23:53,440 - Be my guest. Here. - Here, let me help you with these. 300 00:23:53,600 --> 00:23:58,080 I hope that this will be the last of the conversations on this trip. 301 00:23:58,240 --> 00:23:59,680 Your ticket. 302 00:24:07,240 --> 00:24:09,080 Take it easy with that luggage! 303 00:24:11,520 --> 00:24:14,880 Excuse me, sir. Could you put your tray table up for takeoff, please? 304 00:24:15,040 --> 00:24:18,760 No, the tray table stays down, please. Thank you very much. 305 00:24:18,960 --> 00:24:21,960 You've made things inconvenient enough as it is. 306 00:24:22,120 --> 00:24:24,320 What- What is this? 307 00:24:24,480 --> 00:24:26,320 Is this yours? Do you mind? 308 00:24:26,520 --> 00:24:29,840 It's my briefcase. Let me make more room for you. 309 00:24:35,880 --> 00:24:39,520 Excuse me. Is this seat taken? 310 00:24:39,720 --> 00:24:41,440 Please. 311 00:24:41,640 --> 00:24:43,400 Thank you. 312 00:24:46,880 --> 00:24:51,240 Do you always take matters into your own hands? 313 00:24:51,400 --> 00:24:54,560 Things often end up in my hands. 314 00:24:54,760 --> 00:24:57,280 And I bet your hands end up in a lot of things. 315 00:24:57,480 --> 00:24:59,500 Let's just say, my hands and things... 316 00:24:59,500 --> 00:25:01,640 are often in the same place at the same time. 317 00:25:03,160 --> 00:25:05,000 Could I get you something to drink? 318 00:25:05,200 --> 00:25:09,440 We'll have dry Minoli and Russos, on the rocks, 319 00:25:09,640 --> 00:25:11,360 stirred, not beaten, twist of lemon, 320 00:25:11,600 --> 00:25:13,840 in chilled glasses, not frozen. 321 00:25:14,000 --> 00:25:16,520 And two of those curly little straws. 322 00:25:50,840 --> 00:25:53,240 Thirty hours, 11 minutes and 10 seconds. 323 00:25:53,400 --> 00:25:55,840 Thirty hours, 11 minutes and 8 seconds. 324 00:25:56,000 --> 00:25:57,920 Thirty hours, 11 minutes and 5 seconds. 325 00:26:02,320 --> 00:26:03,920 Miss Cheevus, 326 00:26:03,960 --> 00:26:05,560 when Agent Steele arrives, send him right in. 327 00:26:05,720 --> 00:26:07,480 Mm-hmm. 328 00:26:14,600 --> 00:26:18,560 - Miss Cheevus, is the director available? - No, he's married. 329 00:26:18,720 --> 00:26:22,400 Oh, you kidder. 330 00:26:22,600 --> 00:26:27,560 Miss Cheevus, you wouldn't be trying to make things hard for me? 331 00:26:27,720 --> 00:26:30,720 Oh, Dick, if only I could. 332 00:26:30,880 --> 00:26:34,920 But you know you and I would work so well together deep undercover. 333 00:26:35,080 --> 00:26:40,200 You know the agency's rules about secrecy. They're very... rigid. 334 00:26:40,400 --> 00:26:44,160 Yes, and we wouldn't want to blow it, would we? 335 00:26:44,160 --> 00:26:46,480 Why don't you two just get a motel room? 336 00:26:46,680 --> 00:26:49,160 I need you in here now, Steele! 337 00:27:18,520 --> 00:27:22,640 Miss Cheevus, wasn't the director in the office here? 338 00:27:22,840 --> 00:27:26,480 He just buzzed me from in there, my little pumpy- whumpy. 340 00:27:26,680 --> 00:27:28,600 I'll just sit down and wait for him. 341 00:27:47,160 --> 00:27:50,880 Great Scott! Steele, see a doctor! 342 00:27:51,120 --> 00:27:54,720 Good show, Steele. 343 00:27:54,880 --> 00:27:58,760 I hid for two weeks from my ex-wife's attorney in this outfit. 344 00:27:58,920 --> 00:28:01,120 It's good to see you, WD-40. 345 00:28:01,280 --> 00:28:03,120 You're always my most noble warrior. 346 00:28:03,320 --> 00:28:05,560 - Glad to find you, sir. - Yes, yes, well, 347 00:28:05,720 --> 00:28:08,360 we have to find someone else far more important now. 348 00:28:08,560 --> 00:28:11,960 - You saw the tape with Rancor? - I can't believe he's alive. 349 00:28:12,160 --> 00:28:14,400 He's a madman. He wants the world. 350 00:28:14,560 --> 00:28:17,760 But I'll be perfectly frank, Dick. He wants you first. 351 00:28:18,000 --> 00:28:21,560 He knew I'd send you the tape, especially with Barbara Dahl on it. 352 00:28:23,200 --> 00:28:25,280 Barbara Dahl. 353 00:28:25,480 --> 00:28:28,160 Looks just like Victoria when she was alive. 354 00:28:28,320 --> 00:28:30,280 We don't have time for flashbacks. 355 00:28:30,520 --> 00:28:33,760 Rancor wants the world. Fortunately, he wants to kill you first. 356 00:28:33,920 --> 00:28:37,800 That may give us needed time. Barbara Dahl's last transmission was from Los Angeles. 357 00:28:37,960 --> 00:28:40,320 We couldn't hold the trace long enough to pinpoint her. 358 00:28:40,520 --> 00:28:45,000 Find her, you find him, you find the rocket. 359 00:28:45,200 --> 00:28:47,680 For the rest of it, your guess is as good as mine. 360 00:28:47,880 --> 00:28:51,280 Miss Cheevus, tell Noggin we're coming. 361 00:28:51,720 --> 00:28:53,440 - Hello, Noggin. - Steele. 362 00:28:53,600 --> 00:28:57,000 Good to see you again. Do you have a refill of that deathray laser watch? 363 00:28:57,240 --> 00:29:00,360 - Ah, a new air freshener? - Careful! 365 00:29:00,560 --> 00:29:02,400 Whoo-hoo Oooh 366 00:29:02,560 --> 00:29:05,240 Not again. Oh! 367 00:29:05,400 --> 00:29:07,840 Give me! 368 00:29:08,040 --> 00:29:09,920 Well, this looks like a clever contraption. 369 00:29:10,080 --> 00:29:13,040 A mini- A mini mobile crime lab? 370 00:29:13,240 --> 00:29:15,560 - It's a briefcase. - I know. What does it do? 371 00:29:15,680 --> 00:29:19,080 It holds important papers, files, pens and a calculator. 372 00:29:19,240 --> 00:29:21,600 I understand. But these numbers here, are they in a certain sequence? 373 00:29:21,800 --> 00:29:24,000 The briefcase is timed to explode? 374 00:29:24,160 --> 00:29:27,440 No, it's a lock so people other than myself can't open my briefcase. 375 00:29:27,680 --> 00:29:30,640 Very complex contemporary technology. 376 00:29:30,800 --> 00:29:34,920 All right, Steele, this is your standard, state-of-the- art field kit with three additions. 378 00:29:35,120 --> 00:29:39,120 This is our latest development: microchip Z-ray lenses, 379 00:29:39,320 --> 00:29:41,280 capable of penetrating a layer of clothing. 380 00:29:41,520 --> 00:29:43,720 You'll be able to see if an enemy is carrying a weapon. 381 00:29:43,840 --> 00:29:45,320 Oh. Director? 382 00:29:45,520 --> 00:29:49,880 Oh, now, Steele... should you find your hands bound, 383 00:29:50,040 --> 00:29:55,160 what you can do is just reach down and pull this pin with your teeth. 384 00:29:57,880 --> 00:30:01,480 Put the tube in your mouth, and squeeze and it will emit a laser beam... 385 00:30:01,680 --> 00:30:04,440 powerful enough to cut steel. 386 00:30:04,600 --> 00:30:06,400 Fire in the hole, Director. 387 00:30:06,560 --> 00:30:09,080 - Huh? Oh. - Thank you. 388 00:30:13,440 --> 00:30:15,240 Oh, and one more thing. 389 00:30:15,480 --> 00:30:17,280 This micro-detonator has a built- in timer... 390 00:30:17,400 --> 00:30:19,720 set to explode 30 seconds after you plant it. 391 00:30:19,960 --> 00:30:22,320 It has enough power to blow up a two-story building, 392 00:30:22,520 --> 00:30:24,240 - so be careful. - Fantastic. 393 00:30:24,440 --> 00:30:26,400 All right. Well, here we go and, uh- 394 00:30:26,560 --> 00:30:29,560 - Oh, the glasses. - Yeah. Thank you. 395 00:30:29,760 --> 00:30:31,640 Good to see you again, Noggin. 396 00:30:42,480 --> 00:30:44,600 Bienvenidos a Los Angeles. 397 00:30:44,840 --> 00:30:46,880 Welcome to Los Angeles. 398 00:30:47,080 --> 00:30:48,960 Ciudad de los angeles. 399 00:30:49,160 --> 00:30:51,160 City of the angels. 400 00:30:51,400 --> 00:30:53,280 ? D�nde esta Maria? 401 00:30:53,480 --> 00:30:55,200 Where is Maria? 402 00:30:55,400 --> 00:30:57,880 Maria esta en la biblioteca. 403 00:30:58,120 --> 00:30:59,840 Maria is in the library. 404 00:31:00,040 --> 00:31:03,040 - Do you have a lighter? - I use matches. 405 00:31:03,280 --> 00:31:05,760 Does your mother know you smoke? 406 00:31:06,040 --> 00:31:08,560 Yes, but I don't inhale. 407 00:31:08,760 --> 00:31:12,040 - Kabul. - Uh... 408 00:31:12,240 --> 00:31:14,880 I'm Kabul. Agent WD-40? 409 00:31:15,080 --> 00:31:17,080 Get in, get in. 410 00:31:17,280 --> 00:31:19,160 In the car. 411 00:31:22,600 --> 00:31:25,280 Hello. Excuse me. Ha! 412 00:31:25,480 --> 00:31:28,520 Our operatives believe you may already be in grave danger. 413 00:31:28,680 --> 00:31:34,400 Please take a look at this, Mr. Steele. In that file is a photo of Desiree More. 415 00:31:34,600 --> 00:31:38,840 She's an expert trained in karate, kung fu and is a crack shot. Be on your guard. 416 00:31:38,880 --> 00:31:41,480 Rancor may have sent her to take you out. 417 00:31:41,640 --> 00:31:44,440 She likes easy-listening and guys who share their feelings. 418 00:31:44,600 --> 00:31:49,200 Her measurements: 36-24-36-22. 419 00:31:50,800 --> 00:31:53,840 Aye, and for God sakes, be careful, WD-40. 420 00:31:53,960 --> 00:31:57,320 One time I got two cousins that got salmonella poisoning in this hotel. 421 00:32:17,320 --> 00:32:20,560 Ah, sure looked like her. 422 00:32:20,760 --> 00:32:23,640 But you can't be too sure. 423 00:32:23,840 --> 00:32:26,520 Yeah, almost positive. 424 00:32:26,680 --> 00:32:28,440 Mm-hmm. 425 00:32:29,720 --> 00:32:31,520 Drink? 426 00:32:31,720 --> 00:32:34,200 - Only when I'm thirsty. - Tap water okay? 427 00:32:34,360 --> 00:32:36,720 Poured, not decantered. 428 00:32:36,880 --> 00:32:38,520 Sometimes you see a woman you'd... 429 00:32:38,720 --> 00:32:40,440 just love to have kill ya. 430 00:32:40,640 --> 00:32:43,960 But timing is everything, so that was not going to be today. 431 00:32:44,160 --> 00:32:46,200 Says who? 432 00:32:46,400 --> 00:32:49,080 She's pretty smart. I decided to play it casual. 433 00:32:49,280 --> 00:32:52,000 Casual is overrated. 434 00:32:55,200 --> 00:32:57,000 Oops. 435 00:33:05,320 --> 00:33:07,320 I think the game is over, Mr. Steele. 436 00:33:07,520 --> 00:33:09,880 You're gonna look like Swiss cheese when they find you. 437 00:33:10,120 --> 00:33:14,000 Oh. That's no Gouda. 438 00:33:46,800 --> 00:33:49,320 "Coca Cabana. " 439 00:33:54,640 --> 00:33:57,720 - I'll be back for you. - Where are you going? 440 00:33:57,920 --> 00:33:59,880 In my country we have a saying: 441 00:34:00,080 --> 00:34:02,280 "A man who rides a camel is rich, 442 00:34:02,480 --> 00:34:05,360 but a man who drives a Ferrari can get lucky. 443 00:34:08,200 --> 00:34:11,880 Oh, gee, I am so sorry. 444 00:34:12,080 --> 00:34:13,840 - What's your phone number? - Loser. 445 00:34:14,000 --> 00:34:15,920 Oh, thank you. 446 00:34:16,120 --> 00:34:18,520 Oh, like, look at what you've done. 447 00:34:18,720 --> 00:34:21,040 End of the line, pal. 448 00:34:21,200 --> 00:34:22,960 Uh... 449 00:34:37,480 --> 00:34:40,000 Hey, goombah! 450 00:34:40,200 --> 00:34:42,440 Huh? 451 00:34:48,000 --> 00:34:50,480 Well, well, if it isn't Agent Steele. 452 00:34:52,000 --> 00:34:55,560 Excuse me. Uh, do you have a light? 453 00:34:58,120 --> 00:35:01,160 Yeah, sure. I got a light. 454 00:35:04,440 --> 00:35:07,400 Ow. Ow. Ow. 455 00:35:16,720 --> 00:35:18,520 Very good. 456 00:35:18,720 --> 00:35:21,160 Well, remind me never to light your cigarette. 457 00:35:21,360 --> 00:35:23,440 You don't lose guys like that for long. 458 00:35:23,600 --> 00:35:25,520 Let's get the bus. We'll be safe there. 459 00:35:28,120 --> 00:35:30,720 Transfer? Uh, no, thank you. 460 00:35:33,520 --> 00:35:36,680 Mmm, nice dress. 461 00:35:40,920 --> 00:35:42,760 Next stop: 462 00:35:42,960 --> 00:35:45,040 Sunset Boulevard. 463 00:35:45,240 --> 00:35:48,360 I guess it's Sunset Boulevard. 464 00:35:56,120 --> 00:35:58,560 Pop quiz, hotshot. 465 00:35:58,760 --> 00:36:00,560 Someone on the bus without a transfer. 466 00:36:00,720 --> 00:36:04,920 He won't pay the fare. What do you do? What do you do? 467 00:36:05,120 --> 00:36:06,840 Stop the bus and let him off? 468 00:36:07,040 --> 00:36:11,160 Negatory, honcho, because he cut the brake line. 469 00:36:24,840 --> 00:36:27,280 Excusez-moi, monsieur. 470 00:37:31,680 --> 00:37:33,280 That was nice. Nicely done. 471 00:37:33,400 --> 00:37:34,760 That was nice. Nicely done. 472 00:37:34,960 --> 00:37:36,840 Thank you. Thank you. 473 00:37:37,040 --> 00:37:40,040 Next stop: Melrose. I think. 474 00:37:40,280 --> 00:37:43,400 Well, you must be "fameeshed. " Let's mangez. 475 00:37:43,600 --> 00:37:45,840 That sounds good, but I'm hungry. 476 00:37:46,040 --> 00:37:47,800 Let's eat first. 477 00:37:50,840 --> 00:37:53,640 - Here you go. You both enjoy yourselves. 478 00:37:53,880 --> 00:37:57,320 - Brian will be right here to take your drink order. 479 00:37:57,520 --> 00:38:00,560 We shared an airplane, a drink. 480 00:38:00,760 --> 00:38:03,760 We've been chased, bussed, seated, but... 481 00:38:03,920 --> 00:38:06,880 I still don't really know you. 482 00:38:07,080 --> 00:38:10,560 I'm Bud Fudlacker. I have a small mail- order business. 483 00:38:10,760 --> 00:38:12,880 I travel with the American Gladiators, 484 00:38:13,120 --> 00:38:15,560 I'm 55, I like small appliances... 485 00:38:15,720 --> 00:38:17,480 and I do tax accounting on the side. 486 00:38:17,680 --> 00:38:20,800 Let me guess. You are Dick Steele, 487 00:38:21,000 --> 00:38:24,200 Agent WD-40 with the Secret Service. 488 00:38:24,360 --> 00:38:27,960 You are 52, you like big screen TVs... 489 00:38:28,160 --> 00:38:30,440 and you want to stop General Rancor. 490 00:38:30,640 --> 00:38:33,320 That could describe a thousand guys. 491 00:38:33,520 --> 00:38:35,240 Tell me about you. 492 00:38:35,440 --> 00:38:39,160 I like loose-fitting clothes, and I drive a '69 Pinto. 493 00:38:39,360 --> 00:38:42,680 Hi, I'm Brian. May I take your drink orders, please? 494 00:38:42,880 --> 00:38:46,080 - I'll have- - A dry Minoli and Russo on the rocks. 495 00:38:46,280 --> 00:38:48,600 Stirred, not beaten. 496 00:38:48,760 --> 00:38:52,480 With a twist. In a chilled glass, not frozen. 497 00:38:52,640 --> 00:38:55,920 With two of those curly little straws. 498 00:38:56,120 --> 00:38:57,680 Be right back. 499 00:38:59,600 --> 00:39:02,040 Tell me, who are you? 500 00:39:02,280 --> 00:39:05,600 Why don't you use your... 501 00:39:05,760 --> 00:39:08,920 legendary skills, and guess? 502 00:39:09,120 --> 00:39:13,120 You carry a UB-21 Schnauzer with a Gnab silencer. That's K.G.B. 503 00:39:13,280 --> 00:39:16,320 You prefer an H&K over an A.K. Your surveillance technique is N.S.A. 504 00:39:16,520 --> 00:39:19,280 Your I.D. is C.I.A. You received your Ph. D. at NYU. 505 00:39:19,480 --> 00:39:24,040 Traded in your G.T.O. for a B.M.W. You listen to CDs by R.E.M. and S.T.P. 506 00:39:24,240 --> 00:39:28,080 And you'd like to see J.F.K. in his B.V.D. s, getting down with O.P.P. 507 00:39:28,320 --> 00:39:32,440 And you probably put the toilet paper back on the roll with the paper on the inside. 508 00:39:32,640 --> 00:39:34,480 Hmm. 509 00:39:34,640 --> 00:39:38,320 Here's to your remarkable powers of observation, Mr. Steele. 510 00:39:38,440 --> 00:39:43,080 I am Agent 3.14, Veronique Ukrinsky. 511 00:39:43,240 --> 00:39:45,000 My father is the professor. 512 00:39:45,160 --> 00:39:49,080 Oh, yes, I know. The megachip. 513 00:39:49,280 --> 00:39:52,520 When he found out he was making the chip for Rancor, and not for the U.S., 514 00:39:52,680 --> 00:39:54,920 he escaped with it, and he is in hiding. 515 00:39:55,120 --> 00:39:57,000 In hiding? Where? 516 00:39:57,160 --> 00:39:59,080 He would not take the chance in telling me where he was headed, 517 00:39:59,280 --> 00:40:02,800 but he said, "The pendant- 518 00:40:02,960 --> 00:40:08,360 Follow the path of your pendant to find me." 519 00:40:08,520 --> 00:40:12,800 Hmm... haven't seen too many like these. 520 00:40:13,000 --> 00:40:14,680 - Pendant. - Pendant. 521 00:40:14,880 --> 00:40:16,440 - Pendant. - Pendant. 522 00:40:16,640 --> 00:40:19,840 - Pendant. - We don't have much time, WD-40. 523 00:40:20,000 --> 00:40:22,400 Sooner or later, Rancor will find him. 524 00:40:22,560 --> 00:40:26,560 - I'll order our food to go. - Oh, Dick, I am so worried about my father. 525 00:40:26,760 --> 00:40:29,880 What shall we do, huh? What shall we do? 526 00:40:32,040 --> 00:40:36,560 It was a teenage wedding and the old folks wished them well 527 00:40:36,760 --> 00:40:41,640 You could see that Pierre did truly love the mademoiselle 528 00:40:43,880 --> 00:40:49,320 And now the young monsieur and madame have rung the chapel bell 529 00:40:49,480 --> 00:40:51,280 "C'est la vie" said the old folks 530 00:40:51,440 --> 00:40:54,000 It goes to show you never can tell 531 00:41:03,080 --> 00:41:05,080 Excuse me. Do you have reser. 532 00:41:05,280 --> 00:41:08,360 Steele's here somewhere. 533 00:41:08,520 --> 00:41:12,080 Rancor wants him dead. Find him. 534 00:41:15,040 --> 00:41:16,920 - Dance time is over. - Cigarettes? Cigars? 535 00:41:17,120 --> 00:41:18,960 - There he goes. Kill him! - Throwing knife? 536 00:41:19,160 --> 00:41:22,000 Cigarettes? Cigars? Throwing knife? 537 00:41:22,200 --> 00:41:23,680 Thanks. 538 00:41:23,880 --> 00:41:26,240 Cigarettes? Cigars? 539 00:41:26,400 --> 00:41:30,120 Whoops. 540 00:41:30,360 --> 00:41:32,080 Why? 541 00:41:38,040 --> 00:41:40,720 Quick. Get this up against the door. 542 00:41:48,120 --> 00:41:50,200 I got an idea. 543 00:41:50,400 --> 00:41:52,400 This is a picture of my father. 544 00:41:52,600 --> 00:41:55,600 If we get separated, find him, save him. 545 00:41:58,040 --> 00:42:00,120 Why? 546 00:42:00,320 --> 00:42:04,240 Go! Go, go, go! 547 00:42:04,480 --> 00:42:07,880 - Oh, shut up! - Ow! I came here to dance! 548 00:42:08,080 --> 00:42:10,960 Ow! Dick, help me! 549 00:42:11,080 --> 00:42:12,800 I'll kill you! 550 00:42:12,920 --> 00:42:15,520 - Get in this- - No, let me go! 551 00:42:28,880 --> 00:42:33,320 - Okay, let's go! - Dick, help me! 552 00:42:39,760 --> 00:42:42,800 Follow the path of your pendant to find me. " 553 00:42:42,920 --> 00:42:45,960 - What is that? - It's her pendant. 554 00:42:46,120 --> 00:42:48,120 "Follow the path of the pendant to find me. " 555 00:42:48,320 --> 00:42:50,600 Have you ever seen anything like that? 556 00:42:50,760 --> 00:42:54,480 - Ah! - What? What? 557 00:42:54,680 --> 00:42:56,720 No. 558 00:42:56,880 --> 00:42:59,400 Any idea where it came from? 559 00:42:59,600 --> 00:43:02,680 - Museum of Natural History. - How do you know that? 560 00:43:02,880 --> 00:43:06,160 It says it really small right there at the bottom. 561 00:43:06,320 --> 00:43:09,080 All right. Take me to the Museum of Natural History. 562 00:43:09,200 --> 00:43:13,520 - You know, in my country we do have a saying- - I'm sure you do. 563 00:43:13,560 --> 00:43:17,920 The saying goes: "The museum is closed at 5:00. You go the next morning at 9:00." 564 00:43:20,080 --> 00:43:22,880 Excuse me, Mr. Pushy! 565 00:43:23,080 --> 00:43:24,800 Son of a bitch. 566 00:43:26,920 --> 00:43:29,840 I'm getting sick and tired of your- 567 00:43:40,560 --> 00:43:42,480 Mm-hmm. 568 00:43:46,520 --> 00:43:48,520 No, he'd never fit in there. 569 00:43:48,720 --> 00:43:53,160 Ah. Sir- 570 00:43:54,480 --> 00:43:56,200 I'm sick and tired of these games. 571 00:44:01,080 --> 00:44:05,680 This is stupid. Stupid. We're a government agency, for God sakes. 572 00:44:09,040 --> 00:44:10,840 Huh? 573 00:44:13,080 --> 00:44:14,840 Aha! 574 00:44:19,280 --> 00:44:22,080 Good God! You're sicker than I thought! 575 00:44:23,320 --> 00:44:25,720 What is it, Coleman? I'm busy! 576 00:44:25,920 --> 00:44:29,360 - I, uh, can see that. - You wouldn't understand. 577 00:44:29,560 --> 00:44:31,480 It's the ancient art of origatsi. 578 00:44:31,680 --> 00:44:35,320 What I don't understand is your insistence in keeping Steele on this assignment! 579 00:44:35,520 --> 00:44:37,760 He still is no closer to Rancor, 580 00:44:37,920 --> 00:44:40,990 and we have who knows how little time left before Rancor launches this satellite. 581 00:44:40,990 --> 00:44:44,960 You better let me take over this search before I- 582 00:44:45,120 --> 00:44:46,880 Before you what, Coleman? 583 00:44:47,040 --> 00:44:49,620 I don't know whose monkey you spanked to get this job, 584 00:44:49,620 --> 00:44:51,840 but as far as I'm concerned, you're a disgrace to the Service. 585 00:44:52,000 --> 00:44:53,760 How dare you! 586 00:44:53,920 --> 00:44:56,720 You and your one-for-all-and-all-for-one bleeding heart nonsense! 587 00:44:56,720 --> 00:44:59,200 You're too old to run this agency! 588 00:44:59,360 --> 00:45:01,560 And since you won't step down, 589 00:45:01,760 --> 00:45:04,320 you'll, uh, be stepped on! 590 00:45:06,440 --> 00:45:09,840 Ha! Loser! 591 00:45:10,000 --> 00:45:12,120 What you got? 592 00:45:12,160 --> 00:45:14,520 Is there a jewelery district in Los Angeles? 593 00:45:14,520 --> 00:45:16,740 Come on, this is Hollywood. We have jewelery. 594 00:45:16,740 --> 00:45:18,000 We have women who are willing to sleep- 595 00:45:18,200 --> 00:45:21,080 More important, is there a Russian jewelery section? 596 00:45:21,120 --> 00:45:22,000 Da. 597 00:45:22,160 --> 00:45:24,600 - Where? - I don't know. 598 00:45:24,760 --> 00:45:28,280 There used to be a bunch of Russian jewelers hung out at the warehouse at, uh... 599 00:45:29,760 --> 00:45:31,680 at 31st and Phlegm. 600 00:45:31,880 --> 00:45:35,200 Ah, damn it! 601 00:45:35,360 --> 00:45:37,120 Meet me back at the hotel. We'll split up. 602 00:45:37,280 --> 00:45:39,280 - After you. - Thank you. 603 00:45:39,480 --> 00:45:41,200 Excuse me. 604 00:45:41,520 --> 00:45:43,600 Get off! 605 00:45:59,360 --> 00:46:01,720 Whoa! Whoa! Wh-Whoa! 606 00:46:14,560 --> 00:46:16,560 Watch it! Watch it! 607 00:46:29,320 --> 00:46:31,040 Whoa. 608 00:46:34,400 --> 00:46:36,120 Cheerio. 609 00:47:02,240 --> 00:47:05,400 You're mine, Steele! 610 00:47:12,120 --> 00:47:14,160 Whoa! 611 00:47:17,000 --> 00:47:19,320 - Whoa! - Whoa! 612 00:47:24,880 --> 00:47:28,760 Huh? 613 00:47:48,640 --> 00:47:52,920 Okay, bring it up! Bring it up! Up, up, up! 614 00:47:53,120 --> 00:47:55,960 Okay, that's where the sign goes! 615 00:47:57,920 --> 00:47:59,840 Ah, 31st and Phlegm. 616 00:48:00,000 --> 00:48:01,760 I'm on the waiting list for a co-op. 617 00:48:08,160 --> 00:48:10,560 You better get outta here. I'll see you back in half an hour. 618 00:48:10,680 --> 00:48:12,600 Oh, half hour? I can drop off my dog at the groomer. 619 00:48:42,520 --> 00:48:46,920 - Wha- - Mr. Steele, I presume? 620 00:48:47,080 --> 00:48:50,800 - Professor- - Ukrinsky. With a "Y.'" 621 00:48:59,760 --> 00:49:03,080 Ah. Right. 622 00:49:05,280 --> 00:49:07,720 The pendant. 623 00:49:07,880 --> 00:49:10,040 And I suppose... 624 00:49:10,200 --> 00:49:12,320 this is what you need. 625 00:49:12,480 --> 00:49:14,000 And this is? 626 00:49:14,040 --> 00:49:17,200 This is the controller chip for Rancor's satellite. 627 00:49:17,400 --> 00:49:19,760 Ah, Rancor finally made his megachip. 628 00:49:20,000 --> 00:49:21,760 Who'd have thought the fate of so many human lives... 629 00:49:21,920 --> 00:49:23,840 would rely on something so small? 630 00:49:24,000 --> 00:49:26,840 Well, there's only one thing to do with this. 631 00:49:29,920 --> 00:49:34,160 No! No! What are you doing? 632 00:49:34,360 --> 00:49:36,880 Trying to make the world safe from tyranny. 633 00:49:36,920 --> 00:49:37,840 You mustn't do that! 634 00:49:38,040 --> 00:49:40,520 This can also be used for world peace! 635 00:49:40,640 --> 00:49:42,560 Oh, I'm sorry. 636 00:49:42,720 --> 00:49:46,400 You'd better let me get that into the proper hands and get you to safety. 637 00:49:49,000 --> 00:49:50,740 You found me through my daughter, the pendant. 638 00:49:50,780 --> 00:49:51,080 Right. 639 00:49:51,280 --> 00:49:52,320 Veronique is safe? 640 00:49:52,360 --> 00:49:55,400 Yeah, the van they took her in has dual air bags and seat belts. 641 00:49:58,040 --> 00:50:00,480 - Kabul. - Nice new wheels, huh? 642 00:50:00,680 --> 00:50:04,120 Yeah, quite an improvement. In the back, Professor. 643 00:50:04,280 --> 00:50:06,880 We have to find a safe place for the professor. 644 00:50:07,080 --> 00:50:08,960 In my country, we have saying: 645 00:50:09,120 --> 00:50:12,240 "The rabbit hops, the spider crawls, but the camel spits". 646 00:50:12,440 --> 00:50:14,320 Let's see if this Charger can run. 647 00:50:19,680 --> 00:50:21,560 Now I don't want you to be surprised. 648 00:50:21,760 --> 00:50:25,600 This guy's one of our top agents. He's most capable. 649 00:50:30,800 --> 00:50:32,680 - McCluckey! - Kabul! 650 00:50:37,440 --> 00:50:40,320 - Come on in. - All right. Come on. 651 00:50:40,480 --> 00:50:42,920 McCluckey, we need to hide the professor. 652 00:50:43,160 --> 00:50:46,120 - Professor Ukrinsky, it's an honor. - How do you do? 653 00:50:46,280 --> 00:50:49,280 I've read all your work and your last paper on laboratory loneliness. 654 00:50:49,480 --> 00:50:52,120 - Superb! - Well, thank you. 655 00:50:52,280 --> 00:50:54,640 - McCluckey, I'd like you to meet Agent... - Dick Steele. 656 00:50:54,840 --> 00:50:58,360 Agent WD-40. Good to see you back in action. 657 00:50:58,520 --> 00:51:03,000 Your video on deception, Is It A Woman? Is The Moustache Real? 658 00:51:03,120 --> 00:51:04,920 Beautiful work! 659 00:51:05,040 --> 00:51:08,440 - Thank you. - McCluckey, we need to hide this guy. 660 00:51:08,640 --> 00:51:11,880 Sure, sure. Come this way. He'll be safe here. 661 00:51:12,920 --> 00:51:14,680 Do you have a telephone? 662 00:51:14,840 --> 00:51:16,760 Right over there. 663 00:51:16,920 --> 00:51:19,920 - Is it clean? - I have a woman that comes in once a week. 664 00:51:24,160 --> 00:51:26,720 - Sir? - What? 665 00:51:26,880 --> 00:51:29,400 I have Dick "Luscious Lips" Steele on the line. 666 00:51:29,600 --> 00:51:32,680 Put him through. 667 00:51:32,840 --> 00:51:34,560 Director, is it safe? 668 00:51:34,720 --> 00:51:39,720 Safe? Just a minute. I'll use the cloaking device. 669 00:51:49,040 --> 00:51:51,160 Go ahead, Dick. It's safe. 670 00:51:51,320 --> 00:51:54,640 I have the chip Rancor needs to launch his satellite. 671 00:51:54,840 --> 00:51:58,880 Good, Dick, good. Are you coming in? 672 00:51:59,040 --> 00:52:01,080 No, Rancor kidnapped the professor's daughter. 673 00:52:01,240 --> 00:52:03,160 I've got to find her. 674 00:52:03,360 --> 00:52:06,160 Yes, well... good, Dick. 675 00:52:06,320 --> 00:52:10,040 Good luck. Call me if I can help. 676 00:52:18,000 --> 00:52:21,680 - Nineteen hours and 35 minutes. - That Steele's gonna be sorry... 677 00:52:21,840 --> 00:52:23,920 his mama ever met his papa. 678 00:52:24,080 --> 00:52:28,080 We gonna heat up the fire! Boys! 679 00:52:28,280 --> 00:52:30,040 They always seem to know every move we make. 680 00:52:30,200 --> 00:52:31,960 It's inside. It's got to be somebody inside leaking. 681 00:52:32,120 --> 00:52:34,680 Well, I'm not leaking. I can prove it. 682 00:52:34,840 --> 00:52:36,600 - You go ahead, ask me something. - What? 683 00:52:36,760 --> 00:52:39,480 Ask me something. Ask me who's the director of our agency. 684 00:52:39,640 --> 00:52:42,680 - Who is the director of our agency? - I don't know. 685 00:52:42,840 --> 00:52:44,600 You see, I know who it is, you see? 686 00:52:44,760 --> 00:52:48,600 But I'm not going to tell you, you see, because I am no leak. 687 00:52:48,760 --> 00:52:51,240 This place has got to be a front for Rancor and his men. 688 00:52:51,440 --> 00:52:56,240 There's one of them now. Follow him. 689 00:52:56,400 --> 00:52:58,800 Do you have to keep revving the engine? 690 00:52:59,000 --> 00:53:03,000 Ah, but it's an American V-8. It's such a beautiful sound. 691 00:53:03,240 --> 00:53:08,560 Oh, Steele, listen to this. My cousin's a recording star. 693 00:53:08,720 --> 00:53:11,160 Duck! Ow! 694 00:53:22,280 --> 00:53:24,800 - Did he see us? - Shh. Okay. 695 00:53:31,920 --> 00:53:34,040 - I'm going in there. - Okay. 696 00:53:34,200 --> 00:53:37,560 - Give me cover. - I got to buy my lottery ticket. 697 00:53:42,680 --> 00:53:45,040 - Rancor's guy is here. - Right. 698 00:53:45,280 --> 00:53:48,920 That saved a wretch 699 00:53:49,120 --> 00:53:51,600 Like me 700 00:53:51,840 --> 00:53:56,280 I once was lost 701 00:53:56,480 --> 00:54:01,040 But now am found 702 00:54:01,240 --> 00:54:03,320 Was blind- 703 00:54:07,400 --> 00:54:10,960 - What are you doing here? - I am... the new choirmaster. 704 00:54:11,160 --> 00:54:15,160 - Where did you come from? - The humble room. I was doing refractories. 705 00:54:15,320 --> 00:54:17,840 - "Refractories"? - A new popal revelate. 706 00:54:18,040 --> 00:54:20,760 Uh, John, chapter 7, verse 2. 707 00:54:20,920 --> 00:54:22,240 "Popal"? 708 00:54:22,440 --> 00:54:26,040 Uh, sisters. Michael, chapter 7, verse 2. 709 00:54:26,240 --> 00:54:28,120 "Sing as ye play. 710 00:54:28,280 --> 00:54:31,800 Yea, unto thee a voice like a blenth. " 711 00:54:31,960 --> 00:54:34,400 And as you approach the allo tropo, please, 712 00:54:34,640 --> 00:54:38,360 tres mucho picante abierto. 713 00:54:38,520 --> 00:54:41,640 You know you make me want to shout 714 00:54:41,840 --> 00:54:44,560 Kick my heels up and shout Throw my hands up and shout 715 00:54:44,760 --> 00:54:47,600 Throw my head back and shout Come on now 716 00:54:47,800 --> 00:54:49,840 Don't forget to say you will 717 00:54:50,000 --> 00:54:52,720 Are you gentlemen with Rancor? 718 00:54:52,880 --> 00:54:56,000 Steele's here somewhere. 719 00:54:56,200 --> 00:54:58,640 - Sing it right now baby - Well, find him! 720 00:54:58,840 --> 00:55:00,800 - Say you will - Come on, come on 721 00:55:00,960 --> 00:55:05,360 - Say you will - Say that you will 722 00:55:05,600 --> 00:55:08,080 Say that you love me 723 00:55:08,280 --> 00:55:11,160 Say that you need me Say that you want me 724 00:55:11,320 --> 00:55:14,480 - You want to please me - Come on now 725 00:55:14,640 --> 00:55:18,720 Come on now Come on now 726 00:55:18,880 --> 00:55:23,520 I still remember when I used to be nine years old 727 00:55:23,720 --> 00:55:26,920 - Hey, yeah and I was a fool for you - All right, random inspection. 728 00:55:27,120 --> 00:55:30,000 - From the bottom of my soul - Directive 21, Psalm 2. 729 00:55:30,160 --> 00:55:34,480 Yeah, yeah I want you to know 730 00:55:34,640 --> 00:55:38,480 I said I want you to know right now Ew! 731 00:55:38,720 --> 00:55:40,960 You been good to me sisters 732 00:55:41,160 --> 00:55:43,680 Much better than I've been to myself 733 00:55:43,880 --> 00:55:46,120 So good, so good 734 00:55:46,320 --> 00:55:51,040 And if you ever leave me I don't want nobody else 735 00:55:51,240 --> 00:55:55,760 Hey, hey I said I want you to know 736 00:55:55,960 --> 00:55:58,480 I said I want you to know right now 737 00:55:58,640 --> 00:56:00,400 Veronique? 738 00:56:00,560 --> 00:56:02,680 - Dick. - You all right? 739 00:56:02,800 --> 00:56:05,440 Get out of here. This is a front for Rancor. 740 00:56:05,440 --> 00:56:07,280 Yes, I know. 741 00:56:07,440 --> 00:56:13,040 I'll- I'll get out of here, all right. But you're coming with me. 742 00:56:13,200 --> 00:56:14,840 Stat! Code Yellow! Code Yellow! 743 00:56:15,000 --> 00:56:17,560 - Get me three CCs of epinephrinox! - Right away. 744 00:56:17,720 --> 00:56:20,000 Get me two liters of gasohol mixed with neonephicine! 745 00:56:20,040 --> 00:56:20,280 On my way. 746 00:56:20,480 --> 00:56:22,680 - Get the electrostatifyer, now! - I'll warm up the generator, sister. 747 00:56:22,840 --> 00:56:24,760 She's about to go into fibrolcanination! 748 00:56:24,920 --> 00:56:27,000 - Prepare the operating room! - Yes, sister. I'll get right on it. 749 00:56:29,920 --> 00:56:33,600 For God's sake, can anyone in this hospital help me? 750 00:56:33,760 --> 00:56:37,800 Say it right now, baby 751 00:56:38,000 --> 00:56:39,960 Come on, come on. 752 00:56:41,480 --> 00:56:43,400 Say that you will. 753 00:56:43,600 --> 00:56:47,440 Now wait a minute 754 00:56:47,680 --> 00:56:50,600 Oh. Mm-mm. No. 755 00:56:50,760 --> 00:56:52,720 You know you make me want to shout 756 00:57:02,120 --> 00:57:04,200 High blood pressure. 757 00:57:08,320 --> 00:57:12,680 Here. You'll be safe here. I'll be right back. 758 00:57:21,360 --> 00:57:25,160 Okay, the coast is clear. 759 00:57:25,320 --> 00:57:29,920 Oh, Dick, it's so cold. 760 00:57:30,120 --> 00:57:34,320 What have they done to you? They'll pay for this. 761 00:57:34,520 --> 00:57:36,360 Oh, Dick... 762 00:57:43,440 --> 00:57:45,960 Move 'em, fat heads! 763 00:57:46,120 --> 00:57:48,560 Sisters, make 'em holy! 764 00:57:51,040 --> 00:57:53,320 Oh, Dick, you came for me. 765 00:57:53,480 --> 00:57:56,880 Tell me, what's been happening? 766 00:57:57,120 --> 00:57:58,840 Well, I've been doing a lot of soul-searching, 767 00:57:58,880 --> 00:58:00,560 getting in touch with my inner child. 768 00:58:00,720 --> 00:58:02,520 I have decided I love you. 769 00:58:02,720 --> 00:58:04,760 But what about my father? 770 00:58:04,960 --> 00:58:08,120 Well, I like him. I just have to get to know him better. 771 00:58:08,280 --> 00:58:10,480 No, is he okay? Have you got his chip? 772 00:58:10,640 --> 00:58:12,760 Oh, no, he's fine, and I've got the chip. 773 00:58:12,920 --> 00:58:15,160 Oh, I love you too. 774 00:58:18,800 --> 00:58:22,360 Look out, you crazy nun! 775 00:58:28,400 --> 00:58:30,800 Thanks, guys, I stopped you. You could have been killed! 776 00:58:31,000 --> 00:58:34,440 Quick, let me help. 777 00:58:34,600 --> 00:58:36,480 You smell nice. 778 00:58:38,560 --> 00:58:41,000 Where is my father? 779 00:58:41,160 --> 00:58:42,920 Is he safe? 780 00:58:43,080 --> 00:58:46,320 He's safe, Veronique. Safe as you and me. 781 00:58:46,520 --> 00:58:48,720 So cute. 782 00:58:48,880 --> 00:58:51,120 Oh! Oh! 783 00:58:51,280 --> 00:58:53,400 Safer. 784 00:58:53,600 --> 00:58:56,760 In my country, when an irate, armless, psychotic weirdo... 785 00:58:56,920 --> 00:58:58,680 chase your woman, you must hide her. 786 00:58:59,920 --> 00:59:01,720 Upstairs. Apartment 5B. 787 00:59:01,920 --> 00:59:03,800 I'll wait downstairs. I'll keep my eyes open. 788 00:59:07,800 --> 00:59:10,880 I just put in new carpet. Take your shoes off. 789 00:59:18,280 --> 00:59:25,940 Oh, Dick... it is so nice to know that everything is going to be all right. 791 00:59:27,240 --> 00:59:29,560 You have the chip. 792 00:59:29,720 --> 00:59:33,200 My father is safe. 793 00:59:33,440 --> 00:59:35,920 You love me, Dick. 794 00:59:36,120 --> 00:59:37,960 Love? 795 00:59:39,360 --> 00:59:43,120 Let me tell you about love, Veronique. 796 00:59:43,360 --> 00:59:46,800 Love is a dew drop on a rose petal. 797 00:59:46,960 --> 00:59:49,560 Love is a drop of rain, 798 00:59:49,760 --> 00:59:52,880 pure and shimmering and trembling. 799 00:59:53,080 --> 00:59:56,120 So moist, so wet. 800 00:59:56,320 --> 01:00:01,160 And those tiny little drops of love, 801 01:00:01,360 --> 01:00:03,120 they come together, 802 01:00:03,320 --> 01:00:07,160 gathering up broken buds and fallen flowers... 803 01:00:07,360 --> 01:00:11,280 and dirt and dung... 804 01:00:11,480 --> 01:00:13,360 and deer droppings, 805 01:00:13,560 --> 01:00:18,040 flowing faster and faster, outward to the sea. 806 01:00:18,200 --> 01:00:20,600 Onward and onward - 807 01:00:43,400 --> 01:00:45,240 Good night. 808 01:00:45,480 --> 01:00:49,120 We'll talk more in the morning. 809 01:01:15,320 --> 01:01:17,480 Hey, hotshots. 810 01:01:17,720 --> 01:01:21,320 Come and get me. - Why, you little, no- good juvenile delinquent! 811 01:01:21,480 --> 01:01:23,160 - Go on! Get him! - Come on! 812 01:01:24,920 --> 01:01:28,000 Cool. Heads up! 813 01:01:29,440 --> 01:01:31,640 - Nice shot. I'm going. - Go on! Go on! 814 01:01:31,800 --> 01:01:34,960 We got you now! 815 01:01:35,160 --> 01:01:37,040 Where's the professor? 816 01:01:37,200 --> 01:01:39,480 With Gilligan, dickweed. 817 01:01:43,520 --> 01:01:46,240 - No! - This is for Getting Even With Dad! 818 01:01:46,400 --> 01:01:48,800 - And this is for My Girl. - And this is for My Girl 2. 819 01:01:49,080 --> 01:01:51,880 I wasn't even in My Girl 2. 820 01:01:52,080 --> 01:01:54,240 - We don't care! - We don't care! 821 01:01:57,360 --> 01:01:59,080 Last time I'm gonna ask you, smart boy. 822 01:01:59,280 --> 01:02:02,720 - Where's the professor? - Okay, okay, down the hall to the right. 823 01:02:04,320 --> 01:02:06,600 Okay, the left! 824 01:02:10,440 --> 01:02:12,480 Help! Somebody help me! 825 01:02:12,640 --> 01:02:15,880 They're taking us to Kikiree Island! 826 01:02:19,200 --> 01:02:21,060 They've taken him to Rancor! 827 01:02:21,100 --> 01:02:23,960 They won't kill him... not until he's installed the chip. 828 01:02:24,200 --> 01:02:27,600 - Wha... - Probably not even then. Maybe just torture him a little. 829 01:02:27,800 --> 01:02:31,120 We'll talk about this on the way. Let's get to Kikiree. 830 01:02:41,560 --> 01:02:43,920 You like this disguise? 831 01:02:44,080 --> 01:02:46,000 It's very good. 832 01:02:46,200 --> 01:02:47,920 I'm proud of this one. 833 01:02:48,120 --> 01:02:51,440 Like this, I can look like anybody. 834 01:02:51,440 --> 01:02:55,440 Rancor Industries owns this little island. 836 01:02:55,480 --> 01:02:59,760 The natives say there are stranger goings-on here than at Neverland Valley Ranch. 837 01:02:59,920 --> 01:03:02,600 - Look. - Uh-huh. It's nice. 838 01:03:04,080 --> 01:03:07,920 - Kabul, stay in the boat. - Why? 839 01:03:08,040 --> 01:03:09,800 There's a saying in my country: 840 01:03:09,960 --> 01:03:12,840 "When you hear the words, 'Stay in the boat', you stay in the boat. " 841 01:03:13,040 --> 01:03:15,080 Bye-bye. 842 01:03:22,440 --> 01:03:24,960 Dick, this is crazy. 843 01:03:25,160 --> 01:03:30,620 Crazy? Some people think walking down the street muttering to yourself is crazy. 844 01:03:30,620 --> 01:03:32,040 I'll tell you what crazy is. 845 01:03:32,200 --> 01:03:35,100 Crazy is walking down the street with half a cantaloupe on your head, 846 01:03:35,100 --> 01:03:37,040 saying, "I'm a hamster. '" 847 01:03:37,240 --> 01:03:39,440 "I'm a hamster. '" That's crazy. 848 01:03:46,240 --> 01:03:48,120 Ooh. 849 01:03:48,320 --> 01:03:51,000 My life's work is now complete. 850 01:03:51,200 --> 01:03:53,720 Your cooperation is commendable, Professor. 851 01:03:53,880 --> 01:03:55,640 Thank you. 852 01:03:58,640 --> 01:04:00,440 Throw him in the cell. 853 01:04:00,640 --> 01:04:03,480 But you said it was for the world peace! Yeah, yeah. 854 01:04:11,920 --> 01:04:16,120 Hello, General. It's Skippy. They're on the island. 855 01:04:16,120 --> 01:04:18,200 Yeah. 856 01:04:18,400 --> 01:04:21,760 Well, well, well, what perfect timing. 857 01:04:21,920 --> 01:04:25,840 It seems we're gonna have more guests. Steele's not dead. 859 01:04:26,040 --> 01:04:27,760 He's on his way here. 860 01:04:27,960 --> 01:04:31,400 - Throw her in with the others! - No! Please! Please! 861 01:04:31,560 --> 01:04:35,400 - I thought you loved me! - Naw, I was just usin' you. 862 01:04:35,600 --> 01:04:38,280 [ Countdown Voice ] Seven hours, 59 minutes and 41 seconds. 863 01:04:38,480 --> 01:04:41,480 Seven hours, 59 minutes and 38 seconds. 864 01:04:41,600 --> 01:04:43,400 Seven hours, 59 minutes and 30- 865 01:04:49,080 --> 01:04:51,960 Dick, look out! 866 01:04:51,960 --> 01:04:55,320 Got you now, Steele. 867 01:04:55,520 --> 01:04:57,760 Hey, where you goin'? 868 01:04:57,760 --> 01:05:02,160 Take that! 869 01:05:02,280 --> 01:05:04,200 Hey, come back here! 870 01:05:07,280 --> 01:05:09,680 Nowhere to go, Steele. 871 01:05:15,200 --> 01:05:17,960 How fast can you run, my friend? 872 01:05:18,120 --> 01:05:20,480 My God! 873 01:05:22,280 --> 01:05:24,200 All right, men, tie him up. 874 01:05:24,400 --> 01:05:27,240 Okay, go ahead, kill me. 875 01:05:27,440 --> 01:05:31,260 I got a bomb. You touch me, and you'll blow up yourself. 876 01:05:31,260 --> 01:05:34,960 You don't really think I'm gonna fall for that old tied- to-the-bomb trick, do ya? 877 01:05:35,200 --> 01:05:41,400 Well, how about the old snake trick? 878 01:05:41,560 --> 01:05:44,600 Ahh! 879 01:06:04,240 --> 01:06:06,000 - What is it? - Shh. 880 01:06:13,800 --> 01:06:16,680 Let's go. 881 01:06:16,920 --> 01:06:21,120 Two hours, 59 minutes and 26 seconds to launch. 882 01:06:21,320 --> 01:06:24,760 Two hours, 59 minutes and 21 seconds to launch. 883 01:06:25,000 --> 01:06:28,080 Two hours, 59 minutes and 19 seconds to launch. 884 01:06:28,280 --> 01:06:31,320 We've got to find a way into Rancor's complex. 885 01:06:31,320 --> 01:06:33,840 - Are you ready? - Ready. 886 01:07:11,720 --> 01:07:13,480 Here, help me with this. 887 01:07:13,640 --> 01:07:16,760 - How patriotic, Dick. - And deadly. 888 01:07:16,960 --> 01:07:19,000 Ooh, Dick. 889 01:07:27,040 --> 01:07:28,880 Bearing 177.5. 890 01:07:29,080 --> 01:07:31,840 On my mark. Hi, Mark. 891 01:07:32,040 --> 01:07:34,480 Get set. 892 01:07:34,680 --> 01:07:37,080 - Father! - My child. 893 01:07:37,240 --> 01:07:41,880 Well, well. Dick Steele. 894 01:07:42,040 --> 01:07:44,720 I'd shake your hand, but I don't remember where it landed. 895 01:07:44,920 --> 01:07:48,320 Clever! Clever? Clever. 896 01:07:48,520 --> 01:07:50,480 Take their weapons. 897 01:07:54,000 --> 01:07:55,760 Mm-hmm. 898 01:07:58,040 --> 01:08:01,120 Throw her in with the others. Bind him. 899 01:08:04,840 --> 01:08:08,240 Oh, Papa. 900 01:08:08,440 --> 01:08:11,000 - Dick Steele? - Oh, Ms. Dahl. 901 01:08:12,720 --> 01:08:14,520 - Barbara Dahl. - Get your paws off me, 902 01:08:14,680 --> 01:08:16,680 - Huh. - you damn dirty apes! 903 01:08:20,640 --> 01:08:22,600 - No! - You remember Barbara Dahl. 904 01:08:22,760 --> 01:08:24,560 Victoria's daughter? 905 01:08:24,720 --> 01:08:29,880 I'd like to see you watch her go up like you watched her mother go down. 906 01:08:30,080 --> 01:08:34,440 But I'd rather let you just be a dessert for my little pet. 907 01:08:36,280 --> 01:08:39,000 What's left of you will have to watch helplessly... 908 01:08:39,160 --> 01:08:43,640 while I play Mortal Kombat with the entire world! 909 01:09:21,760 --> 01:09:26,280 Huh? 910 01:09:33,560 --> 01:09:36,400 It's gonna blow! Hurry up! 911 01:09:47,240 --> 01:09:49,960 Come on! 912 01:10:30,920 --> 01:10:32,840 You are very immature. 913 01:10:33,000 --> 01:10:35,280 Bullies tend to have very bad self- esteem. 914 01:10:37,480 --> 01:10:40,560 Aha! 915 01:10:42,040 --> 01:10:44,560 Oh-ho! 916 01:10:47,440 --> 01:10:50,220 Leave me alone! I'm an unarmed man! 917 01:11:19,760 --> 01:11:24,020 - Oh, Miss Cheevus. - Dick, I'm sorry. 918 01:11:24,020 --> 01:11:26,960 One minute and 22 seconds. One minute and 21 seconds. 919 01:11:27,120 --> 01:11:28,080 One minute and 20 seconds. 920 01:11:28,120 --> 01:11:29,620 You were under the influence of an evil man. 921 01:11:29,620 --> 01:11:31,740 - One minute and 19 seconds. - It was still a lousy thing to do. 922 01:11:31,780 --> 01:11:35,080 One minute and 18 seconds. One minute and 17 seconds. 923 01:11:35,240 --> 01:11:39,960 - One minute and 16 seconds. - Oh-oh. General, it's broken. 924 01:11:39,960 --> 01:11:43,400 Well, you'll like space. Lots of elbow room and- 925 01:11:43,600 --> 01:11:45,640 - One minute and 12 seconds. - Oh, whoops. Sorry. 926 01:11:45,800 --> 01:11:49,160 One minute and 11 seconds. One minute and ten seconds. 927 01:11:49,360 --> 01:11:53,800 Yeah, you lose, Steele! That countdown is irreversible! 928 01:11:54,000 --> 01:11:56,920 Really? 929 01:11:57,080 --> 01:11:58,440 - One minute and five seconds. - Well... 930 01:11:58,600 --> 01:12:00,440 - let's just see how... - We need to go! 931 01:12:00,640 --> 01:12:03,360 - One minute and three seconds. - irreversible that really is. 932 01:12:03,520 --> 01:12:05,280 It's irreversible, 933 01:12:05,440 --> 01:12:08,480 and there's nothing you patriotic pansies can do about it! 934 01:12:08,680 --> 01:12:13,680 Let me tell you what being patriotic really is, you scumbag poop. 936 01:12:13,920 --> 01:12:17,720 This is a great country where a man can sue anyone he wants anytime he wants. 937 01:12:17,780 --> 01:12:21,000 It's a great country because thousands of people die every year... 938 01:12:21,160 --> 01:12:23,820 from handguns, and, yet, at this very moment, 939 01:12:23,880 --> 01:12:28,360 you can still walk into a convenience store anywhere and buy one of those guns. 940 01:12:28,520 --> 01:12:31,100 - That's democracy. - It's finally time somebody does... 941 01:12:31,100 --> 01:12:33,180 what that fool Steele should have done. 942 01:12:31,180 --> 01:12:34,880 - This is a great country... - And it's gonna be me! 943 01:12:34,900 --> 01:12:39,400 - because anyone who's male has the right... - Let's go! 944 01:12:39,560 --> 01:12:42,960 - to run for the office of the President. - Let's go! Move it! 945 01:12:43,080 --> 01:12:46,300 This is a great country because any moron can 946 01:12:46,300 --> 01:12:48,000 All right, everyone, drop your guns! 947 01:12:48,200 --> 01:12:50,160 I'm, uh, taking over! 948 01:12:52,760 --> 01:12:55,000 Steele... get down from there. 949 01:12:55,160 --> 01:12:58,920 Dick, come on. We have to go. 950 01:12:58,980 --> 01:13:01,400 - Now! - Oh! 951 01:13:01,560 --> 01:13:03,760 - Come on! Come on! - I wasn't finished. 952 01:13:03,760 --> 01:13:05,280 Quick! Hurry up! Just move it! 953 01:13:05,440 --> 01:13:07,200 Twenty seconds. 954 01:13:10,560 --> 01:13:13,880 Steele, you're always doing this to me! 955 01:13:15,920 --> 01:13:18,280 You lose, Steele! 956 01:13:18,440 --> 01:13:20,200 I'm not through! I'll be back! 957 01:13:20,360 --> 01:13:22,720 Maybe just tissue or a brain! 958 01:13:22,880 --> 01:13:25,600 - Open the door! I'm stuck in here! - I'll be back! 959 01:13:25,760 --> 01:13:28,920 I'm going up, but you and your whole world... 960 01:13:29,120 --> 01:13:31,080 are going down! 961 01:13:31,280 --> 01:13:33,760 - I'll be back, maybe without legs... - Open the damn door! 962 01:13:33,960 --> 01:13:37,990 - or some other minor organ. - Wait! I don't want to miss the fireworks! 963 01:13:49,040 --> 01:13:51,120 How about a hand for General Rancor? 964 01:13:53,120 --> 01:13:55,760 You're not through with me! 965 01:13:57,080 --> 01:13:59,600 Ah, well. 966 01:13:59,800 --> 01:13:59,840 Houston, we have a problem. 967 01:14:19,360 --> 01:14:24,880 A man of intrigue He lives for the thrill 968 01:14:27,640 --> 01:14:33,160 Always has places to go and people to kill 969 01:14:35,320 --> 01:14:38,360 Danger is the game he plays 970 01:14:38,560 --> 01:14:42,400 And he holds every card 971 01:14:42,600 --> 01:14:45,480 'Cause if you wanna win 972 01:14:45,640 --> 01:14:48,800 You gotta spy hard 973 01:14:51,600 --> 01:14:56,640 A man of the world so suave and discreet 974 01:14:59,280 --> 01:15:04,440 He trips over the women piled up at his feet 975 01:15:07,840 --> 01:15:10,080 But evil's lurking 976 01:15:10,320 --> 01:15:14,600 So he's always on his guard 977 01:15:14,760 --> 01:15:17,720 'Cause if you're gonna spy 978 01:15:17,920 --> 01:15:22,920 You better spy hard 979 01:15:23,120 --> 01:15:26,360 He's always there 980 01:15:26,520 --> 01:15:30,920 When the chips are beginning to fall 981 01:15:31,120 --> 01:15:34,360 He wouldn't care 982 01:15:34,560 --> 01:15:36,840 If they kicked him and grabbed him 983 01:15:37,000 --> 01:15:38,840 And shot him and stabbed him 984 01:15:39,040 --> 01:15:42,880 And nailed both his ears to the wall 985 01:15:44,480 --> 01:15:46,480 Facing death every day 986 01:15:46,640 --> 01:15:51,280 Is a tough job for any man 987 01:15:51,440 --> 01:15:54,720 But his hours are flexible 988 01:15:54,920 --> 01:15:58,080 And he's got a great dental plan 989 01:15:59,640 --> 01:16:03,120 By the way if you walked in late 990 01:16:03,320 --> 01:16:07,160 Allow me to reiterate 991 01:16:07,360 --> 01:16:10,600 The name of this movie 992 01:16:10,840 --> 01:16:14,280 Was Spy Hard 993 01:16:14,480 --> 01:16:18,240 They called it Spy Hard 994 01:16:18,400 --> 01:16:21,920 You just saw Spy Hard 995 01:16:22,080 --> 01:16:27,640 It's the end of Spy Hard