1
00:00:55,522 --> 00:00:57,024
Ah, Mother's Day.
2
00:00:57,190 --> 00:00:59,727
Paige, come on, honey,
you have to go to school.
3
00:00:59,826 --> 00:01:01,430
I love being a mother.
4
00:01:01,762 --> 00:01:04,936
But what about the other
364 days of the year'?
5
00:01:05,165 --> 00:01:07,372
When you're trying to
get your kid to school
6
00:01:07,534 --> 00:01:10,174
and you're surviving
on very little sleep
7
00:01:10,270 --> 00:01:13,945
because you're up all night sewing
costumes for the school play
8
00:01:14,041 --> 00:01:16,001
and you've stiff got to go
to work in the morning.
9
00:01:16,577 --> 00:01:17,578
Go.
10
00:01:17,678 --> 00:01:20,090
It's about
the never-ending driving
11
00:01:20,180 --> 00:01:22,456
to soccer,
gymnastics, or ballet.
12
00:01:23,684 --> 00:01:26,756
It's about getting your kids
to look up from their computer
13
00:01:26,853 --> 00:01:30,357
or iPad or iPad or iPhone or
whatever "I" they're hacking at.
14
00:01:30,691 --> 00:01:33,968
Paige, wait, honey, your
banana, hold on, hold on!
15
00:01:35,195 --> 00:01:37,106
It's okay, honey,
just eat the peach.
16
00:01:37,197 --> 00:01:38,608
Eat the peach, it's fine.
17
00:01:38,699 --> 00:01:41,145
In other words,
it's about being a..- ...
18
00:01:41,234 --> 00:01:43,407
Mom! Mom!
19
00:01:44,137 --> 00:01:45,411
Mom!
20
00:01:45,872 --> 00:01:46,872
Peter...
21
00:01:46,907 --> 00:01:49,751
Wait, wait, wait...
breathe, slow down, slow down,
22
00:01:49,810 --> 00:01:51,221
breathe, hold on.
23
00:01:57,784 --> 00:01:59,092
There you go. See?
24
00:02:01,221 --> 00:02:02,261
Now tell me what happened.
25
00:02:02,289 --> 00:02:04,462
Peter left the top
of the ant farm open.
26
00:02:04,558 --> 00:02:06,765
All the ants are gone,
even the big red one.
27
00:02:08,061 --> 00:02:10,473
Oh, why? Why did I buy
this for you guys?
28
00:02:10,564 --> 00:02:11,975
I swear, I don't...
29
00:02:12,065 --> 00:02:14,170
Hey, hey, hey, Peter,
where did that come from?
30
00:02:14,301 --> 00:02:16,747
You know no junk food
for breakfast anymore.
31
00:02:17,070 --> 00:02:18,674
Dad brought them.
He lets us.
32
00:02:19,172 --> 00:02:21,948
He also lets you go to
school without any underwear.
33
00:02:22,242 --> 00:02:24,153
It's called
free-balling, Mom.
34
00:02:24,745 --> 00:02:27,248
I swear.
Where are all of these ants?
35
00:02:27,314 --> 00:02:28,424
It happened in the backyard.
36
00:02:28,448 --> 00:02:30,519
God. Peter, I'm not kidding.
I'm counting to three.
37
00:02:30,617 --> 00:02:32,119
One, two...
38
00:02:32,185 --> 00:02:33,186
Three.
39
00:02:34,087 --> 00:02:36,829
What?
When did that stop working?
40
00:02:36,923 --> 00:02:38,834
Come on,
I brought a box of donuts.
41
00:02:38,992 --> 00:02:40,266
It's not a federal offense,
42
00:02:40,327 --> 00:02:42,967
but I will take credit
for the underwear.
43
00:02:45,832 --> 00:02:47,607
Good morning.
Hello.
44
00:02:48,769 --> 00:02:50,840
Did you look this good
when we were married?
45
00:02:50,937 --> 00:02:52,883
No, I actually got better.
46
00:02:53,473 --> 00:02:55,851
When did you get in here? I
didn't even hear you come in.
47
00:02:55,942 --> 00:02:57,649
Came in through the back door.
48
00:02:57,711 --> 00:03:00,156
I mean, we don't want the neighbors
talking, do we?
49
00:03:00,180 --> 00:03:01,682
Hmm. Are you hungry?
50
00:03:01,782 --> 00:03:02,783
Mmm.
51
00:03:02,883 --> 00:03:04,453
Here, have a donut.
52
00:03:05,385 --> 00:03:07,365
Your parents are divorced,
right?
53
00:03:07,454 --> 00:03:09,195
Oh, trust me, there's weirdness.
54
00:03:09,289 --> 00:03:11,860
So, Peter, you decided
to invite your friends over
55
00:03:11,958 --> 00:03:13,665
at 7:45 in the morning?
56
00:03:13,727 --> 00:03:14,728
Hi.
57
00:03:14,995 --> 00:03:16,702
We're meeting here
for the carpool today.
58
00:03:16,797 --> 00:03:18,572
- And the donuts.
- At my request.
59
00:03:19,366 --> 00:03:22,142
All right, you little hooligans,
let's go, time for school.
60
00:03:22,202 --> 00:03:23,237
Load up.
61
00:03:24,471 --> 00:03:27,384
Please, you cannot bring this
stuff into the house anymore.
62
00:03:28,208 --> 00:03:33,021
Yeah, but, uh, seriously, could
we have a conversation later?
63
00:03:33,413 --> 00:03:35,984
There's something important
I need to talk to you about.
64
00:03:36,650 --> 00:03:38,493
Sure, okay.
65
00:03:39,986 --> 00:03:41,158
Okay.
66
00:03:41,354 --> 00:03:42,731
Telephone.
67
00:03:45,092 --> 00:03:46,162
Hey, Jess.
68
00:03:46,226 --> 00:03:49,230
I ate a whole
coffee cake last night.
69
00:03:49,329 --> 00:03:50,364
Pilates?
70
00:03:50,430 --> 00:03:52,034
No, I can't.
I have way too much work.
71
00:03:52,099 --> 00:03:54,143
But I've got to tell you, the
strangest thing just happened.
72
00:03:54,167 --> 00:03:55,167
What?
73
00:03:55,202 --> 00:03:58,672
I think I just caught Henry
totally checking me out,
74
00:03:58,739 --> 00:03:59,774
like twice.
75
00:03:59,873 --> 00:04:03,514
Was it like along stare
or a gawk?
76
00:04:03,844 --> 00:04:05,687
Jesse, you've got to see this!
77
00:04:06,780 --> 00:04:09,192
I'm going to say like a gawk.
78
00:04:11,251 --> 00:04:12,423
What does that mean?
79
00:04:12,519 --> 00:04:14,831
I have no idea, but he said he
wants to sit down with me later
80
00:04:14,855 --> 00:04:17,358
and talk about
something important.
81
00:04:17,858 --> 00:04:19,428
What if he wants to
get back together?
82
00:04:19,526 --> 00:04:20,732
What? No. No way.
83
00:04:20,794 --> 00:04:22,004
I'm coming, I'm coming.
84
00:04:22,028 --> 00:04:23,268
That is so not happening.
85
00:04:23,363 --> 00:04:24,933
Why not?
Jesse.
86
00:04:25,031 --> 00:04:27,807
You are the happiest
divorced couple I've ever met.
87
00:04:27,901 --> 00:04:29,642
I mean, maybe he's
figured you're the one.
88
00:04:29,803 --> 00:04:31,646
Max, get ready,
my sister's coming.
89
00:04:31,805 --> 00:04:34,445
No, no, no, no, no, no,
there's no way.
90
00:04:34,541 --> 00:04:37,613
That's not going to... It's been
years, it's all fine and...
91
00:04:37,711 --> 00:04:39,422
You don't really...
Really, you think it might be?
92
00:04:39,446 --> 00:04:41,448
Do you think?
Here's what I'm wondering.
93
00:04:41,648 --> 00:04:45,460
If you guys get remarried, does it
mean the ring has to be bigger?
94
00:04:45,552 --> 00:04:47,122
I'm saying yes.
95
00:04:47,254 --> 00:04:48,854
Okay, you just keep
thinking all of those
96
00:04:48,922 --> 00:04:50,458
wonderfully deep thoughts, okay?
97
00:04:50,557 --> 00:04:52,059
I'll talk lo you later.
98
00:04:53,126 --> 00:04:55,072
Okay.
99
00:04:56,763 --> 00:05:00,006
Presenting our float
for the Mother's Day parade.
100
00:05:00,133 --> 00:05:01,578
Oh!
101
00:05:06,606 --> 00:05:07,744
Wow!
102
00:05:07,974 --> 00:05:09,851
Do you love it?
What is it?
103
00:05:09,943 --> 00:05:13,288
Womb. It's a womb.
104
00:05:13,647 --> 00:05:15,183
Of course.
105
00:05:15,315 --> 00:05:16,794
It's a womb float.
106
00:05:16,850 --> 00:05:19,797
Amazing. And so,
the tube?
107
00:05:20,854 --> 00:05:21,855
The umbilical cord.
108
00:05:21,955 --> 00:05:24,333
It's symbolic that we all
come from the same place,
109
00:05:24,424 --> 00:05:27,496
gay, straight, transgender,
black, white, purple, you know.
110
00:05:27,594 --> 00:05:28,664
Awesome.
111
00:05:29,529 --> 00:05:30,872
I love it.
112
00:05:30,997 --> 00:05:33,204
You're going to kill it
at the Mother's Day parade.
113
00:05:33,366 --> 00:05:35,144
Seriously, they're not going
to know what to do with it.
114
00:05:35,168 --> 00:05:36,476
You haven't seen the best part.
115
00:05:38,605 --> 00:05:43,213
Oh, look at that! I delivered
a child for the second time.
116
00:05:43,610 --> 00:05:45,851
Wow! It's a boy.
117
00:05:45,946 --> 00:05:47,357
You've lost your mind.
118
00:05:49,049 --> 00:05:51,009
I'm going to go work oui.
I'll be right over here.
119
00:05:53,520 --> 00:05:54,521
You good?
120
00:05:54,621 --> 00:05:55,622
All good, Val.
121
00:05:56,289 --> 00:05:57,290
Hey, Zack.
122
00:05:58,191 --> 00:05:59,671
Another week,
you won't need the tray.
123
00:05:59,826 --> 00:06:01,771
Another week, and you and
Kristin will be doing my shift.
124
00:06:01,795 --> 00:06:02,795
Hey, Val.
125
00:06:02,829 --> 00:06:04,866
Hey, Kristin. Hey.
126
00:06:04,965 --> 00:06:06,467
Hi, Daddy!
127
00:06:06,800 --> 00:06:07,801
Ooh.
128
00:06:07,868 --> 00:06:09,711
No, no, no, we sanitize.
129
00:06:09,803 --> 00:06:11,083
I literally just
washed my hands.
130
00:06:11,137 --> 00:06:12,207
Doesn't matter.
131
00:06:12,305 --> 00:06:13,978
I could always
wear a hazmat suit.
132
00:06:14,140 --> 00:06:15,585
I'd love that.
133
00:06:15,675 --> 00:06:17,746
The baby books call that
being a helicopter mom.
134
00:06:17,844 --> 00:06:18,982
You know, always hovering.
135
00:06:19,045 --> 00:06:20,323
Yeah, I've been called them all,
136
00:06:20,347 --> 00:06:21,587
and it doesn't faze me one bit.
137
00:06:22,716 --> 00:06:25,492
Milk bottles for tonight
138
00:06:25,552 --> 00:06:27,392
Can you put those in the
fridge for me, please?
139
00:06:27,487 --> 00:06:29,228
Um, that may not work.
140
00:06:29,322 --> 00:06:30,323
I just found out...
141
00:06:30,390 --> 00:06:32,199
Hey, Zack, can I get two more?
142
00:06:32,659 --> 00:06:34,661
Yep, on me way. Beanzie?
143
00:06:35,095 --> 00:06:37,905
I got accepted into the Buckhead
Standup Comedy Contest.
144
00:06:37,998 --> 00:06:40,103
First rounds tonight,
three rounds,
145
00:06:40,200 --> 00:06:41,543
first prize is 5 grand.
146
00:06:42,435 --> 00:06:45,746
Babe, that would take my overall
earnings as a comic to,
147
00:06:45,839 --> 00:06:47,011
well, 5 grand.
148
00:06:47,073 --> 00:06:49,178
Just getting accepted into
the contest is a big deal.
149
00:06:49,242 --> 00:06:51,354
Yeah, of course, I will figure
something out with Katie.
150
00:06:51,378 --> 00:06:53,415
Don't worry.
Just go make 'em laugh.
151
00:06:53,680 --> 00:06:55,751
I'm not paying you
to reproduce again.
152
00:06:55,849 --> 00:06:56,850
Sorry, boss.
153
00:06:56,917 --> 00:06:59,124
But don't mind me,
I'm just the owner.
154
00:07:02,889 --> 00:07:04,766
Vicky,
don't kick the ball in here.
155
00:07:04,858 --> 00:07:06,269
Okay, okay.
156
00:07:12,032 --> 00:07:13,375
Thank you.
157
00:07:18,705 --> 00:07:20,707
Can't believe it's
already been a year.
158
00:07:21,408 --> 00:07:23,888
This will be our
first one without her.
159
00:07:25,712 --> 00:07:27,089
I miss her.
160
00:07:29,883 --> 00:07:31,089
Me, too.
161
00:07:37,057 --> 00:07:38,400
Who's that?
162
00:07:38,458 --> 00:07:40,597
Just a friend,
wondering if I'll be
163
00:07:40,660 --> 00:07:42,731
at the mall today after school.
164
00:07:42,796 --> 00:07:43,934
I've got to answer him.
165
00:07:44,230 --> 00:07:48,269
Is this "him" your,
uh, boyfriend?
166
00:07:48,401 --> 00:07:49,641
Dad, stop. Please.
167
00:07:49,736 --> 00:07:50,737
What?
Oh, my God.
168
00:07:50,804 --> 00:07:52,147
Seems like a reasonable question
169
00:07:52,238 --> 00:07:54,013
for a father to
ask his daughter.
170
00:07:54,107 --> 00:07:55,814
Hey, Vicky,
you know' we should go.
171
00:07:55,909 --> 00:07:57,354
We're going to be
late for school,
172
00:07:57,444 --> 00:07:59,856
and you, don't be late
for soccer practice this time.
173
00:08:00,246 --> 00:08:01,452
I won't.
174
00:08:02,649 --> 00:08:04,856
Mom was never late for practice.
175
00:08:10,790 --> 00:08:12,201
No, she wasn't.
176
00:08:17,697 --> 00:08:19,108
Can I drive?
177
00:08:19,499 --> 00:08:20,773
Absolutely not.
178
00:08:20,934 --> 00:08:23,412
No, look, we're all going to end
up in a place like this someday.
179
00:08:23,436 --> 00:08:24,796
All right?
I don't want to rush it.
180
00:08:25,672 --> 00:08:26,707
What?
181
00:08:26,806 --> 00:08:29,685
That was just like
the old Dad, making jokes.
182
00:08:30,276 --> 00:08:31,721
Yeah, I guess.
183
00:08:32,445 --> 00:08:33,856
So, listen, Dad.
184
00:08:33,947 --> 00:08:36,359
After I get my license,
could I maybe, you know,
185
00:08:36,449 --> 00:08:38,122
drive Mom's Volkswagen?
186
00:08:38,518 --> 00:08:40,463
No, no, no, I'm going to sell it.
I told you that.
187
00:08:40,487 --> 00:08:41,898
Come on, Dad.
Pretty please?
188
00:08:41,988 --> 00:08:43,729
It's literally just
sitting in the garage.
189
00:08:43,823 --> 00:08:45,200
Absolutely not.
190
00:08:45,859 --> 00:08:48,567
Well, thanks for
thinking that over. Great.
191
00:08:50,363 --> 00:08:51,398
I'm Adam Freeman.
192
00:08:51,498 --> 00:08:54,240
Thanks for joining me here
on HSN from our headquarters
193
00:08:54,334 --> 00:08:56,075
in St. Petersburg, Florida.
194
00:08:56,169 --> 00:08:59,241
Right now, I would like to send
it over to Atlanta, Georgia,
195
00:08:59,339 --> 00:09:02,183
where the very lovely Miranda
Collins is on her book tour.
196
00:09:02,242 --> 00:09:03,550
Hello, Adam.
197
00:09:03,643 --> 00:09:04,713
Hello, Atlanta.
198
00:09:04,811 --> 00:09:06,222
Hello, viewers.
199
00:09:06,312 --> 00:09:08,815
So, Mother's Day
is getting so close,
200
00:09:08,882 --> 00:09:12,989
and we have these gorgeous
crystal mood pendants.
201
00:09:13,486 --> 00:09:15,022
It is the perfect gift for Mom.
202
00:09:15,088 --> 00:09:18,228
These genuine quartz
crystal mood pendants
203
00:09:18,324 --> 00:09:20,497
change color with your mood.
204
00:09:20,560 --> 00:09:22,506
Now, wouldn't it be nice to know
205
00:09:22,562 --> 00:09:26,009
if your mom is
happy or sad or mad?
206
00:09:27,434 --> 00:09:30,005
Oh, we have just sold
our 800th pendant!
207
00:09:30,070 --> 00:09:31,105
Bingo!
208
00:09:34,741 --> 00:09:37,187
Oh, God, I know that look.
209
00:09:37,510 --> 00:09:38,750
You hate the float.
210
00:09:38,845 --> 00:09:41,519
No, it's not the float.
211
00:09:42,682 --> 00:09:44,218
It's just all this
Mother's Day stuff
212
00:09:44,284 --> 00:09:46,328
and I start thinking about
how I haven't talked to Mom.
213
00:09:46,352 --> 00:09:50,357
I don't even remember what our
stupid argument was about.
214
00:09:50,423 --> 00:09:51,800
Oh, let me refresh your memory.
215
00:09:51,891 --> 00:09:53,402
She saw a picture of you
and Russell on Facebook,
216
00:09:53,426 --> 00:09:56,134
and even though he's a doctor,
she threatened to disown you
217
00:09:56,229 --> 00:09:59,210
if you continue to date a man whose
skin was darker than a Frappuccino.
218
00:09:59,265 --> 00:10:01,211
Okay, I get it.
219
00:10:03,770 --> 00:10:05,147
Look, you can always call her,
220
00:10:05,238 --> 00:10:08,082
not that I understand why you
would want to, or Skype.
221
00:10:08,241 --> 00:10:09,618
She's into that now.
222
00:10:09,709 --> 00:10:11,620
Our parents have the Internet?
223
00:10:11,711 --> 00:10:13,622
How do they do that
with a rotary phone?
224
00:10:13,713 --> 00:10:16,159
Hmm. Fancier trailer park?
225
00:10:16,716 --> 00:10:19,424
Well, when are you planning on
telling them about you and Max?
226
00:10:20,053 --> 00:10:21,053
Never.
227
00:10:21,087 --> 00:10:22,731
I'm engaged to an investment
banker named Steven.
228
00:10:22,755 --> 00:10:23,915
We have not set the date yet.
229
00:10:23,957 --> 00:10:25,367
He has low sperm count
and I'm in therapy.
230
00:10:25,391 --> 00:10:26,392
That's my story.
231
00:10:26,459 --> 00:10:30,566
Maybe if you tell them about you two
first, it'll soften the blow for me.
232
00:10:30,964 --> 00:10:34,173
Don't even try to piggyback
your secret on my secret.
233
00:10:34,300 --> 00:10:36,610
Besides, she's in Texas.
We're fine.
234
00:10:36,903 --> 00:10:38,507
Yeah, we're fine,
235
00:10:39,939 --> 00:10:42,146
just motherless
this time of year.
236
00:10:42,242 --> 00:10:44,279
There's a reason we
moved hereto Georgia.
237
00:10:44,344 --> 00:10:45,823
She ruins everything, remember?
238
00:10:45,912 --> 00:10:48,415
I mean, at least
everything we let her.
239
00:10:48,781 --> 00:10:50,852
I just feel like
we don't have family.
240
00:10:52,152 --> 00:10:55,133
I'm your sister.
I live next door to you.
241
00:10:56,089 --> 00:10:57,830
Thank you very much.
242
00:11:03,663 --> 00:11:04,767
Thanks.
243
00:11:04,831 --> 00:11:06,003
Little hot, careful.
244
00:11:07,133 --> 00:11:08,134
Mmm.
245
00:11:08,701 --> 00:11:10,180
It's really hot.
246
00:11:14,207 --> 00:11:17,154
What did you want to talk about?
247
00:11:17,210 --> 00:11:19,781
Sounded so important.
248
00:11:20,613 --> 00:11:23,355
Uh...
249
00:11:25,652 --> 00:11:27,529
Oh, my God, what is it?
250
00:11:27,620 --> 00:11:28,963
I, uh...
251
00:11:31,524 --> 00:11:32,525
I, um...
252
00:11:33,459 --> 00:11:34,836
I got married.
253
00:11:36,829 --> 00:11:38,137
Eloped, actually.
254
00:11:39,866 --> 00:11:41,402
Very impulsive.
255
00:11:43,803 --> 00:11:45,043
You got married?
256
00:11:45,138 --> 00:11:46,310
Yeah.
257
00:11:47,707 --> 00:11:49,687
You got... To who?
258
00:11:49,876 --> 00:11:51,321
To Tina.
259
00:11:51,744 --> 00:11:52,916
To Tina?
260
00:11:53,213 --> 00:11:54,351
Yeah, to Tina.
261
00:11:55,481 --> 00:11:56,482
To Tina?
262
00:11:56,916 --> 00:11:57,917
Stop saying, "To Tina."
263
00:11:58,017 --> 00:12:03,057
I'm sorry,
I'm so confused right now.
264
00:12:03,156 --> 00:12:05,727
I mean, I thought
you guys broke up so long ago.
265
00:12:05,825 --> 00:12:06,826
We did.
266
00:12:07,160 --> 00:12:08,696
But then there
was that stripper.
267
00:12:09,162 --> 00:12:10,664
Dancer, yeah.
268
00:12:10,763 --> 00:12:11,867
Stripper.
269
00:12:11,931 --> 00:12:16,243
And then, Tina and I
got back together.
270
00:12:16,603 --> 00:12:18,082
How does this.“
271
00:12:18,171 --> 00:12:19,673
Wow. You got back together.
272
00:12:21,841 --> 00:12:23,343
She's the one.
273
00:12:25,278 --> 00:12:26,279
Ah.
274
00:12:26,379 --> 00:12:28,916
Well, let's say the next one.
275
00:12:29,782 --> 00:12:30,852
Right.
276
00:12:31,684 --> 00:12:35,097
You know, I've always respected
the agreement we've had
277
00:12:35,188 --> 00:12:36,792
to keep our love lives separate
278
00:12:36,889 --> 00:12:38,960
until they become permanent,
279
00:12:39,058 --> 00:12:41,698
which now it has.
280
00:12:42,061 --> 00:12:47,443
Okay, so,
when do we tell the boys?
281
00:12:48,201 --> 00:12:51,478
Oh, I already told them
on the way to school.
282
00:12:51,638 --> 00:12:53,777
What? You already told them?
283
00:12:53,873 --> 00:12:54,943
Yeah.
284
00:12:55,541 --> 00:12:58,647
On the way to school, with those
other children in the car?
285
00:12:58,745 --> 00:13:01,919
No, I waited till
those kids got out.
286
00:13:01,981 --> 00:13:03,654
Oh, you did, good.
That's good.
287
00:13:03,750 --> 00:13:07,664
So, that was a really nice,
well-thought-out moment for you guys.
288
00:13:07,754 --> 00:13:09,893
That's nice.
Thanks for waiting for me.
289
00:13:10,423 --> 00:13:12,266
They were excited.
290
00:13:12,759 --> 00:13:14,568
They know her.
They really like her.
291
00:13:15,395 --> 00:13:16,465
Okay.
292
00:13:19,499 --> 00:13:21,570
Well...
293
00:13:24,070 --> 00:13:26,983
Oh, gosh, I have to, um...
294
00:13:27,073 --> 00:13:29,144
I have to meet Jess at Pilates.
295
00:13:29,242 --> 00:13:30,653
Sorry, I don't mean to...
296
00:13:30,743 --> 00:13:32,120
No, no, no.
297
00:13:32,912 --> 00:13:34,723
I wanted to make sure
you heard it from me first.
298
00:13:34,747 --> 00:13:36,249
Yes, I know, I know.
299
00:13:36,983 --> 00:13:38,257
Okay, well, um...
300
00:13:39,252 --> 00:13:40,253
Uh...
301
00:13:41,020 --> 00:13:42,624
I'm happy for you.
302
00:13:43,022 --> 00:13:44,365
Thank you.
303
00:14:04,277 --> 00:14:06,780
Hi, Bradley. Are you going to
join us on the poles today?
304
00:14:06,846 --> 00:14:08,951
Uh, not today, Beth Anne, no.
305
00:14:10,116 --> 00:14:11,288
Sisters.
306
00:14:20,059 --> 00:14:21,732
We want to talk to you.
Go, Jody.
307
00:14:21,828 --> 00:14:24,866
Bradley, there's this new mom at
school we want to set you up with.
308
00:14:25,031 --> 00:14:26,032
She's recently divorced.
309
00:14:26,132 --> 00:14:27,133
Not too recent.
310
00:14:27,200 --> 00:14:30,147
With one of those annoyingly
perfect lives-at-the-gym bodies.
311
00:14:30,236 --> 00:14:31,544
But with boobs, big boobs.
312
00:14:31,637 --> 00:14:32,638
I mean big boobs.
313
00:14:32,705 --> 00:14:34,082
Look, ladies,
I really appreciate
314
00:14:34,173 --> 00:14:35,880
you looking out
for me like this,
315
00:14:35,975 --> 00:14:38,387
but I just don't think
I'm ready quite yet, you know?
316
00:14:38,478 --> 00:14:40,638
But when I am, I will definitely
come talk to you guys.
317
00:14:40,680 --> 00:14:42,182
It'd be dumb not to.
318
00:14:42,482 --> 00:14:44,257
What are your plans
for Mother's Day?
319
00:14:44,817 --> 00:14:45,818
Oh, um...
320
00:14:46,919 --> 00:14:49,763
No plans.
We're not celebrating.
321
00:14:50,156 --> 00:14:52,932
I've been thinking about this
long and hard and believe me,
322
00:14:53,025 --> 00:14:54,732
I think what's
best for the girls
323
00:14:54,827 --> 00:14:56,568
is to just skip
the day altogether.
324
00:14:56,662 --> 00:15:00,508
You know, just treat it like a normal
Sunday, nothing special. You know'?
325
00:15:00,566 --> 00:15:02,671
What do you guys
think about that?
326
00:15:03,536 --> 00:15:05,846
Absolutely not. No.
Major mistake, Bradley.
327
00:15:06,038 --> 00:15:08,678
Dana would not like that
Think about the kids.
328
00:15:09,575 --> 00:15:11,019
You guys, look! It's Miranda!
329
00:15:11,043 --> 00:15:12,421
Am I really on with
the Miranda Collins?
330
00:15:12,445 --> 00:15:15,358
Am I really on with
the Edith from Waukesha?
331
00:15:15,415 --> 00:15:16,519
Go ahead, Edith.
332
00:15:16,582 --> 00:15:19,188
Could I see the
bracelet a bit closer, please?
333
00:15:21,187 --> 00:15:22,393
My pleasure.
334
00:15:24,857 --> 00:15:26,598
How's that, Edith?
335
00:15:26,692 --> 00:15:29,400
Ooh, that's lovely.
I'll take two.
336
00:15:29,529 --> 00:15:32,373
And it won't cost you an arm and a leg.
337
00:15:33,566 --> 00:15:35,068
Perfect. Good.
338
00:15:35,134 --> 00:15:36,613
Nice crisp passes, guys!
339
00:15:36,702 --> 00:15:39,444
My morn said your morn was
lieutenant in the Marines
340
00:15:39,539 --> 00:15:41,109
and your dad was a Marine, too?
341
00:15:41,207 --> 00:15:42,948
Yeah, he was a master sergeant.
342
00:15:43,042 --> 00:15:44,522
Come on, we've got to hustle.
343
00:15:44,577 --> 00:15:45,817
He sure knows how to yell.
344
00:15:45,912 --> 00:15:48,023
Kick it to where they're going
to be, not where they are
345
00:15:48,047 --> 00:15:50,392
because they'll be gone from
there by the time it gets there!
346
00:15:50,416 --> 00:15:52,123
Leaner, come on, Rach.
347
00:15:52,218 --> 00:15:53,629
Case in point!
348
00:15:53,986 --> 00:15:55,590
Rachel, you've got
to hustle. Come on.
349
00:15:55,655 --> 00:15:56,793
Hey!
350
00:15:56,889 --> 00:15:59,062
Thank you, Vicky.
Thank you for your help.
351
00:15:59,125 --> 00:16:00,570
Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa!
352
00:16:00,626 --> 00:16:03,072
Hey, Evelyn, what are you doing?
353
00:16:03,229 --> 00:16:05,175
Are you texting?
Are you?
354
00:16:05,431 --> 00:16:07,502
Yeah, there's no
texting in soccer, okay?
355
00:16:07,600 --> 00:16:10,444
I mean, there's running
and jumping, eye contact,
356
00:16:10,503 --> 00:16:11,811
laughing, there's even crying.
357
00:16:11,904 --> 00:16:12,939
There's no texting.
358
00:16:13,005 --> 00:16:14,507
Please, put that away,
all right?
359
00:16:14,607 --> 00:16:16,086
Hey, hey, hey!
360
00:16:18,845 --> 00:16:20,085
What?
361
00:16:20,146 --> 00:16:21,750
Thomas is watching you.
362
00:16:23,449 --> 00:16:25,952
Yeah, watching me
screw up, thank you.
363
00:16:27,787 --> 00:16:29,198
Back to soccer!
364
00:16:31,757 --> 00:16:33,532
I guess that's
Tommy there, all right.
365
00:16:34,126 --> 00:16:35,764
Let's go!
366
00:16:36,095 --> 00:16:38,015
All right,
go, let's go! Come on!
367
00:16:38,931 --> 00:16:40,137
Here we go.
368
00:16:40,299 --> 00:16:41,334
Nice!
369
00:16:41,434 --> 00:16:43,812
Rachel's open!
Chase it down, that's it.
370
00:16:44,136 --> 00:16:46,639
Hey, goal!
371
00:16:46,706 --> 00:16:47,980
Nicely done.
372
00:16:48,040 --> 00:16:51,283
Evelyn, please text my daughter,
"Good job." Thank you.
373
00:16:51,978 --> 00:16:54,049
She is online.
You ready?
374
00:16:54,146 --> 00:16:55,819
Yeah, I'm ready.
Oh.
375
00:16:56,449 --> 00:16:58,156
Take that down.
376
00:17:02,021 --> 00:17:03,295
Hey, Ma, it's Gabi.
377
00:17:03,990 --> 00:17:05,628
Can you read me?
378
00:17:06,459 --> 00:17:08,461
Not a walkie-talkie,
Mom.
379
00:17:09,161 --> 00:17:11,698
I thought this Escape thing is
supposed to let me see people.
380
00:17:11,797 --> 00:17:12,832
I don't see diddly.
381
00:17:12,899 --> 00:17:15,880
It's "Skype," not "Escape."
New just press "start video.“
382
00:17:15,968 --> 00:17:17,003
I did.
383
00:17:17,069 --> 00:17:19,379
Try again. Click the
picture of the video camera.
384
00:17:19,472 --> 00:17:20,883
Well, I don't have one of them.
385
00:17:20,973 --> 00:17:22,179
Yes, you do, Mom.
386
00:17:22,241 --> 00:17:24,744
No, I do not have
a damn picture of a video...
387
00:17:25,645 --> 00:17:27,682
- Okay, I did.
- Hi.
388
00:17:27,747 --> 00:17:29,727
Oh, you got the crystal.
I sent it early.
389
00:17:29,815 --> 00:17:31,817
Didn't want to risk it being
late for Mother's Day.
390
00:17:31,918 --> 00:17:33,795
I know I'd never
hear the end of that.
391
00:17:33,819 --> 00:17:35,093
Oh, I love it.
392
00:17:35,321 --> 00:17:38,200
I'm not so sure about this
color-changing mumbo jumbo.
393
00:17:38,257 --> 00:17:42,205
Oh, and I love that TV
shopping host, Miranda.
394
00:17:42,261 --> 00:17:44,104
Do you know anybody
who knows her?
395
00:17:44,196 --> 00:17:46,005
She's in a hotel in Atlanta.
396
00:17:47,033 --> 00:17:48,671
Uh, no, I don't.
397
00:17:48,734 --> 00:17:51,578
But, um, there's someone
here who knows you.
398
00:17:53,172 --> 00:17:54,772
I can't do it.
399
00:17:54,840 --> 00:17:56,485
You don't have to do it.
Where did she go?
400
00:17:56,509 --> 00:17:58,079
All I see is bricks.
401
00:17:58,177 --> 00:17:59,713
Hello?
402
00:17:59,779 --> 00:18:01,622
Hello?
Uh...
403
00:18:02,515 --> 00:18:04,358
Hi, Mom.
404
00:18:05,051 --> 00:18:06,052
Oh.
405
00:18:06,385 --> 00:18:07,523
Do I know you?
406
00:18:08,254 --> 00:18:09,892
It's nice to see you, too.
407
00:18:10,056 --> 00:18:12,935
Finally calling to apologize
after all this time.
408
00:18:13,225 --> 00:18:15,102
Nope, just calling to call.
409
00:18:15,194 --> 00:18:18,107
Gabi told me you're not dating
that Indian fellow anymore.
410
00:18:18,197 --> 00:18:19,608
Finally came to your senses.
411
00:18:19,732 --> 00:18:22,645
But I'm not going to rub your face
in it and say, "5 told you so,"
412
00:18:22,735 --> 00:18:24,476
but I told you so.
413
00:18:24,570 --> 00:18:26,072
Okay. Where's Dad?
414
00:18:26,606 --> 00:18:29,985
He's having lunch.
415
00:18:30,376 --> 00:18:31,753
Hi, Dad!
416
00:18:31,811 --> 00:18:33,791
On!
417
00:18:33,879 --> 00:18:37,452
There's my little girl,
on the TV.
418
00:18:38,417 --> 00:18:40,727
I'm glad to see you
talking with your mama.
419
00:18:40,886 --> 00:18:42,888
'Bout time you apologized.
420
00:18:42,955 --> 00:18:44,263
Well, you're looking good, Dad.
421
00:18:44,390 --> 00:18:45,733
No, he thinks so.
422
00:18:46,158 --> 00:18:49,469
Oh, I have to say, Jess,
you haven't aged that much.
423
00:18:49,562 --> 00:18:50,562
Thank you.
424
00:18:50,596 --> 00:18:52,040
How come you can?
Find a successful man
425
00:18:52,064 --> 00:18:54,010
like your sister did,
that Steven fellow?
426
00:18:54,100 --> 00:18:56,637
I mean, believe me, I love Gabi,
427
00:18:56,736 --> 00:18:58,977
but she looks way too
much like your father
428
00:18:59,071 --> 00:19:01,073
to be the one to
catch a man first.
429
00:19:01,741 --> 00:19:02,776
Thanks, Mom.
430
00:19:04,443 --> 00:19:07,652
Well, I called to say hi
431
00:19:07,747 --> 00:19:09,488
and I also called to tell you
432
00:19:09,582 --> 00:19:14,622
that no matter what's happened
between us, you're always my mother.
433
00:19:16,856 --> 00:19:20,201
So, I wanted
to tell you about...
434
00:19:22,528 --> 00:19:24,303
What?
435
00:19:24,463 --> 00:19:26,943
Hey, look, it's Mommy
and Aunt Gabi.
436
00:19:26,999 --> 00:19:27,943
I've got to go.
I've got to go.
437
00:19:28,000 --> 00:19:29,111
You want to tell me about what?
438
00:19:29,135 --> 00:19:31,547
- Hi, you wanna see her?
- Hi, guys. Hi.
439
00:19:31,671 --> 00:19:33,207
And she's gone.
440
00:19:33,305 --> 00:19:35,615
Well, at least she called you.
441
00:19:36,308 --> 00:19:37,548
Maybe she got a date.
442
00:19:37,643 --> 00:19:39,554
Hi, sweetie.
Hey, bubs.
443
00:19:39,645 --> 00:19:40,756
Who were you talking to?
444
00:19:40,780 --> 00:19:41,780
Snapchatting.
445
00:19:41,814 --> 00:19:43,350
Oh, what are you, 12?
446
00:19:43,449 --> 00:19:44,951
No, it's fun.
447
00:19:46,118 --> 00:19:48,655
This is so exciting, you guys!
448
00:19:49,455 --> 00:19:53,961
Your first sleepover with
Dad and his new person.
449
00:19:54,493 --> 00:19:55,995
What do you want us to call her?
450
00:19:56,062 --> 00:19:57,837
Do you want us to
call her "Mom," too'?
451
00:19:57,897 --> 00:19:59,501
No, absolutely not.
452
00:19:59,565 --> 00:20:01,806
You just call her
what comes naturally,
453
00:20:01,901 --> 00:20:04,142
but I would say "ma'am" is good.
454
00:20:05,404 --> 00:20:08,146
Hey!
455
00:20:08,474 --> 00:20:09,714
What's up, boys?
456
00:20:09,809 --> 00:20:10,981
Hey, Henry.
Yeah?
457
00:20:11,043 --> 00:20:12,044
Hi, Sandy.
458
00:20:12,144 --> 00:20:13,316
Hi, Tina.
459
00:20:13,379 --> 00:20:14,483
Hi, boys.
460
00:20:14,714 --> 00:20:16,489
Hi.
Wow!
461
00:20:16,649 --> 00:20:18,651
Oh, gosh, congratulations.
462
00:20:19,185 --> 00:20:21,187
Thank you.
Isn't it so exciting?
463
00:20:21,253 --> 00:20:23,062
It's thrilling.
464
00:20:23,155 --> 00:20:25,157
I thought you'd
moved back to LA.
465
00:20:25,224 --> 00:20:26,224
Yeah, just for a minute.
466
00:20:26,325 --> 00:20:27,565
People said I should model.
467
00:20:27,660 --> 00:20:29,333
Yeah.
468
00:20:29,428 --> 00:20:31,567
But somebody convinced
me to move back here.
469
00:20:32,765 --> 00:20:34,403
Boys, I made cookies.
470
00:20:34,500 --> 00:20:37,674
For Peter, guitars,
and for Mikey, baseballs.
471
00:20:37,770 --> 00:20:39,545
Thanks.
Oh. Thanks, Tina.
472
00:20:39,605 --> 00:20:40,743
These are gram.
473
00:20:40,840 --> 00:20:42,217
Yeah, come on inside.
474
00:20:42,274 --> 00:20:43,776
Okay, bye, guys-
475
00:20:43,876 --> 00:20:45,187
- Have fun.
- See you tomorrow.
476
00:20:45,211 --> 00:20:46,713
Bye, Sandy.
Oh, um...
477
00:20:46,846 --> 00:20:48,792
Tweet at me if you want
to check in or anything,
478
00:20:48,881 --> 00:20:50,292
or check my Instagram.
479
00:20:50,382 --> 00:20:52,160
I'll post some photos
when I get some cute ones.
480
00:20:52,184 --> 00:20:54,357
Yeah, that's exciting.
Okay.
481
00:20:57,423 --> 00:20:59,369
"Tweet at me."
482
00:21:02,528 --> 00:21:04,940
She just... Did she just
say, "Tweet at me"? Did she?
483
00:21:05,030 --> 00:21:06,274
I think she just said,
"Tweet me."
484
00:21:06,298 --> 00:21:08,039
I didn't hear that Oh, Henry.
485
00:21:08,434 --> 00:21:10,277
Oh, come on.
I knew she was younger, but...
486
00:21:10,369 --> 00:21:11,643
She's almost 30.
487
00:21:11,771 --> 00:21:14,081
"She's almost 30"?
In a few years.
488
00:21:14,140 --> 00:21:15,312
My God.
489
00:21:15,407 --> 00:21:17,080
And what is she wearing?
490
00:21:17,443 --> 00:21:18,786
Uh...
491
00:21:18,978 --> 00:21:20,616
What do you want me to do?
492
00:21:20,713 --> 00:21:22,420
Ask her to dress more dowdy?
493
00:21:22,481 --> 00:21:26,554
No, just tell her to dress,
put on a pair of pants.
494
00:21:26,619 --> 00:21:28,792
That's not appropriate
for those kids.
495
00:21:28,888 --> 00:21:30,458
You can see
everything's popping out.
496
00:21:30,556 --> 00:21:32,126
Speaking of the kids.
What?
497
00:21:32,224 --> 00:21:33,294
Mother's Day.
498
00:21:33,392 --> 00:21:35,303
What about Mother's Day?
499
00:21:35,394 --> 00:21:39,308
I was wondering if we could
take the kids for half the day
500
00:21:39,398 --> 00:21:41,435
since Tina is now technically...
501
00:21:41,500 --> 00:21:42,672
Oh, stop.
502
00:21:42,768 --> 00:21:45,612
No, no' no,
don't even say it, no.
503
00:21:45,671 --> 00:21:47,241
You know what I mean.
No, no, no, no.
504
00:21:47,306 --> 00:21:48,751
You got married
five seconds ago.
505
00:21:48,808 --> 00:21:51,118
Can you just... Can we just
slow this down a little bit?
506
00:21:51,177 --> 00:21:52,451
You're angry.
It's all right.
507
00:21:52,511 --> 00:21:54,752
Well, at least consider
it for the boys' sake.
508
00:21:54,814 --> 00:21:56,487
L just did.
Okay.
509
00:21:56,582 --> 00:21:57,583
You can...
510
00:21:57,650 --> 00:22:00,824
She can have Flag Day,
Groundhog Day,
511
00:22:00,920 --> 00:22:02,922
any of those days, Father's Day.
512
00:22:03,522 --> 00:22:05,195
Well, I was just asking.
513
00:22:05,291 --> 00:22:06,770
Yeah, I know, and you did.
514
00:22:06,826 --> 00:22:08,169
Unbelievable.
515
00:22:17,436 --> 00:22:19,347
I'm sorry to interrupt your spa,
516
00:22:19,438 --> 00:22:23,113
but Miranda's agent, Lance Wallace,
wants to see you right away.
517
00:22:24,143 --> 00:22:25,884
Lance, I'm here. I'm here.
Okay, okay.
518
00:22:25,978 --> 00:22:27,855
Miranda okays
the book-signing poster,
519
00:22:27,947 --> 00:22:29,790
and the essay winners are ready.
520
00:22:29,849 --> 00:22:32,089
All right, now she wants to
know some interior designers.
521
00:22:32,117 --> 00:22:33,619
She hates the look of the show.
522
00:22:33,686 --> 00:22:36,565
Well, we've gotten a few
requests from some designers.
523
00:22:36,655 --> 00:22:37,833
But this one I liked the best.
524
00:22:37,857 --> 00:22:40,167
Her name is Sandy Newhouse.
All right, why?
525
00:22:40,226 --> 00:22:41,534
She lives in Atlanta.
526
00:22:41,627 --> 00:22:44,073
She's designed living rooms,
upscale restaurants,
527
00:22:44,163 --> 00:22:45,301
and a five-star hotel lobby.
528
00:22:45,364 --> 00:22:47,344
All right, well, she
looks smiley and happy.
529
00:22:47,399 --> 00:22:49,310
Make sure she meets Miranda
before we check out.
530
00:22:49,368 --> 00:22:51,041
Okay, and make-up...
Goal!
531
00:22:51,136 --> 00:22:52,809
Hey, hey' hey!
532
00:22:52,972 --> 00:22:54,383
Hey, wait a minute.
Hey!
533
00:22:54,540 --> 00:22:55,985
Hey there, Messi!
534
00:22:56,041 --> 00:22:57,850
This is not a stadium,
it's a lobby!
535
00:22:57,910 --> 00:22:58,910
No, no, no.
A lobby.
536
00:22:58,978 --> 00:23:01,515
These are the kids of the
big shot HSN executive.
537
00:23:01,580 --> 00:23:03,321
We're entertaining
them this week.
538
00:23:03,649 --> 00:23:05,322
Hey, mister,
can I have my ball back?
539
00:23:05,584 --> 00:23:08,565
There we go.
All right! Soccer rules!
540
00:23:08,654 --> 00:23:09,831
Soccer rules!
541
00:23:09,855 --> 00:23:11,533
Are they gonna be with
us all week, those kids?
542
00:23:11,557 --> 00:23:12,934
Yes, may axe.
543
00:23:16,228 --> 00:23:19,539
Doin' it ab' for my baby
544
00:23:21,233 --> 00:23:24,043
'Cause he's as fine as he can be
545
00:23:24,103 --> 00:23:25,741
Not him, it's you.
546
00:23:25,838 --> 00:23:27,249
Dad, dinner's ready.
547
00:23:27,339 --> 00:23:30,445
Doin' it all for my baby
548
00:23:31,010 --> 00:23:34,219
For everything he does for me
549
00:23:34,280 --> 00:23:37,557
I'm doin' it, doin' it, doin' it
550
00:23:37,616 --> 00:23:38,924
Doin' it, doin' it, yeah
551
00:23:39,018 --> 00:23:41,089
Doin' it, doin' it...
552
00:23:41,186 --> 00:23:42,529
Mom loved karaoke.
553
00:23:44,623 --> 00:23:45,693
Remember?
554
00:23:45,758 --> 00:23:47,795
Oh, yes, I certainly do.
555
00:23:48,127 --> 00:23:50,266
Come on,
let's eat, Dad. Come on.
556
00:23:50,362 --> 00:23:51,602
Let's go.
557
00:23:51,697 --> 00:23:52,869
Come on!
558
00:23:52,932 --> 00:23:54,878
Okay. Okay.
What are you doing'?
559
00:23:59,204 --> 00:24:02,651
This karaoke video is
just for you, Bradley.
560
00:24:03,575 --> 00:24:06,818
And to my chubbos back home,
Rachel and Vicky.
561
00:24:07,546 --> 00:24:09,423
I love you so much.
562
00:24:09,748 --> 00:24:12,627
I'll be home before you know it.
563
00:24:15,154 --> 00:24:16,656
Love you.
564
00:24:16,755 --> 00:24:18,098
Love you guys
565
00:24:18,824 --> 00:24:21,737
Yeah, could you go to the
supermarket for me, please?
566
00:24:22,594 --> 00:24:25,165
Yeah, yeah, of course.
567
00:24:25,264 --> 00:24:27,938
Loan, uh...
Yeah, what, uh...
568
00:24:29,568 --> 00:24:30,808
What do we need?
569
00:24:30,903 --> 00:24:32,974
Uh, we need juice, eggs...
Uh-huh.
570
00:24:33,072 --> 00:24:34,415
Eggs.
571
00:24:34,807 --> 00:24:36,912
Bread' of course.
Yup.
572
00:24:37,076 --> 00:24:40,148
Um, we need bananas and tampons.
Mmm-hmm.
573
00:24:40,245 --> 00:24:41,349
Yeah.
574
00:24:42,948 --> 00:24:44,621
Uh... Um...
575
00:24:45,084 --> 00:24:46,324
What was that?
576
00:24:46,418 --> 00:24:47,419
Tampons.
577
00:24:47,486 --> 00:24:49,762
Maybe that's something
that can wait, you think?
578
00:24:49,955 --> 00:24:52,026
Uh...
579
00:24:52,124 --> 00:24:53,330
I'm just going to write
580
00:24:53,425 --> 00:24:54,495
I'll know what that means.
581
00:24:54,593 --> 00:24:55,593
Okay, good.
Mmm-hmm.
582
00:24:55,627 --> 00:24:57,106
Okay, there you go.
583
00:24:57,596 --> 00:24:59,337
Oh, I miss you guys so much.
584
00:24:59,431 --> 00:25:01,707
Mom, we just saw you,
like, two hours ago.
585
00:25:01,800 --> 00:25:03,711
I know, I know, but I love you,
586
00:25:03,802 --> 00:25:05,941
and I miss you
when you're not here.
587
00:25:06,805 --> 00:25:10,275
So... Hey, are you guys sure you
want to stay at Daddy's tonight
588
00:25:10,342 --> 00:25:12,344
because I could...
Bye, Mom.
589
00:25:12,444 --> 00:25:13,718
Okay, bye.
590
00:25:14,813 --> 00:25:16,622
Me, too, I'm in.
591
00:25:16,682 --> 00:25:20,858
- All in.
- One, two, three!
592
00:25:20,953 --> 00:25:22,330
Oh, my gosh.
593
00:25:22,388 --> 00:25:24,368
Oh, I won again.
No way.
594
00:25:33,799 --> 00:25:37,212
So, Mother's Day is coming and S
will be spending it with my mother.
595
00:25:37,302 --> 00:25:39,714
I brought he! out
with my most recent boyfriend
596
00:25:39,805 --> 00:25:41,148
and he leaves for the bathroom,
597
00:25:41,206 --> 00:25:43,049
not even out of earshot,
and she's like,
598
00:25:43,142 --> 00:25:44,285
"Well, he's all right, I guess,
599
00:25:44,309 --> 00:25:46,669
"but is that the nose you want
to see on your little girl? "
600
00:25:48,047 --> 00:25:49,219
That's my time.
601
00:25:49,314 --> 00:25:51,351
Thank you so much, everyone.
602
00:25:51,417 --> 00:25:53,897
That was Genevieve Joy.
603
00:25:53,986 --> 00:25:56,227
Once again,
ladies and gentlemen,
604
00:25:56,321 --> 00:25:58,392
welcome to the
Buckhead Comedy Contest
605
00:25:58,490 --> 00:26:01,403
with your host,
former used car legend
606
00:26:01,527 --> 00:26:05,771
and now comedy club owner, Mr. Wally Bum.
607
00:26:05,864 --> 00:26:07,571
Thank you, thank you.
608
00:26:07,666 --> 00:26:09,407
All right, this next guy
coming out,
609
00:26:09,501 --> 00:26:12,038
he's a guy from
the island across the pond
610
00:26:12,171 --> 00:26:16,711
that gave us colonialism, Hugh Grant
and the plague.
611
00:26:16,775 --> 00:26:20,188
Please put your hands
together for Zack Zim.
612
00:26:20,345 --> 00:26:23,883
Zack Zim, have fun!
613
00:26:27,352 --> 00:26:31,198
Good evening, hey, I'm Zack,
originally from Britain,
614
00:26:31,256 --> 00:26:34,601
now living out here in Atlanta,
Georgia, with my girlfriend,
615
00:26:34,726 --> 00:26:37,468
my girlfriend who recently had a baby.
616
00:26:37,563 --> 00:26:39,565
No, uh, don't applaud.
617
00:26:39,631 --> 00:26:41,542
Um, it's not mine.
618
00:26:41,633 --> 00:26:43,943
No, she is, I hope.
619
00:26:45,204 --> 00:26:47,707
She's amazing.
My girlfriend is American,
620
00:26:47,773 --> 00:26:51,050
but she is desperate for our
child to have a British accent.
621
00:26:51,243 --> 00:26:53,917
That's ah' she wants. She won't
talk to our child, seriously.
622
00:26:53,979 --> 00:26:55,652
I have to read to
Katie every night.
623
00:26:55,747 --> 00:26:57,590
All the other kids
are watching Sesame Street.
624
00:26:57,649 --> 00:26:59,993
Our baby is sat down
in front of Downton Abbey.
625
00:27:01,220 --> 00:27:03,928
You notice I say
"girlfriend," five years,
626
00:27:03,989 --> 00:27:07,232
we're still not married, and,
bay, have I asked.
627
00:27:07,292 --> 00:27:09,294
It was a struggle enough
to get her to update
628
00:27:09,394 --> 00:27:11,067
her Facebook
profile from "single."
629
00:27:11,230 --> 00:27:13,836
I was like, "Five years,
we have a child together.
630
00:27:13,932 --> 00:27:16,674
"Couldn't you at least make
it, 'it's complicated?"
631
00:27:16,768 --> 00:27:18,179
And it makes it awkward, though,
632
00:27:18,270 --> 00:27:20,147
like, how do you
introduce each other?
633
00:27:20,239 --> 00:27:21,616
When I introduce Kristin,
634
00:27:21,673 --> 00:27:23,846
I introduce her as
the light of my life,
635
00:27:23,976 --> 00:27:27,446
- the song of my soul, the mother
of my child. - Aw...
636
00:27:27,513 --> 00:27:29,686
And she introduces
me as her roommate.
637
00:27:32,618 --> 00:27:36,293
And a great big happy almost
Mother's Day to you terrific...
638
00:27:38,190 --> 00:27:39,260
Hey.
639
00:27:40,659 --> 00:27:44,106
Can we, um, just go back to the
not married thing for a sec?
640
00:27:44,163 --> 00:27:46,871
Oh, Come on,
please, I am so tired.
641
00:27:46,965 --> 00:27:48,171
I am so tired.
642
00:27:48,267 --> 00:27:52,374
I love you, Kristin,
and I do want to marry you.
643
00:27:52,471 --> 00:27:55,975
But I think I don't feel like
getting turned clown anymore.
644
00:28:02,514 --> 00:28:06,291
There's something you're not
telling me, but you can.
645
00:28:06,852 --> 00:28:10,459
Whatever it is, we'll get
through it, if we're committed.
646
00:28:11,223 --> 00:28:12,702
I don't know.
647
00:28:13,458 --> 00:28:14,960
Zack, I just...
648
00:28:16,461 --> 00:28:18,668
I don't know. Um...
649
00:28:20,465 --> 00:28:22,411
I don't know either.
650
00:28:23,569 --> 00:28:26,982
So, do you want to take a break?
651
00:28:27,973 --> 00:28:31,045
What? No, never.
652
00:28:31,143 --> 00:28:34,818
I just... I need
a little bit more time.
653
00:28:36,048 --> 00:28:37,652
I won't wait forever.
654
00:28:51,330 --> 00:28:52,832
I know, I'll take it.
655
00:28:53,832 --> 00:28:55,743
I'll take it.
Can I have a kiss, too'?
656
00:28:55,834 --> 00:28:56,938
Mama wants a kiss.
657
00:28:57,536 --> 00:28:58,844
Oh, thank you.
Mama kiss.
658
00:28:59,671 --> 00:29:01,582
- Mama kiss.
- Mama kiss.
659
00:29:01,673 --> 00:29:02,708
Sandy?
660
00:29:02,774 --> 00:29:04,185
Hi.
Hi.
661
00:29:04,376 --> 00:29:05,548
Hey!
662
00:29:05,677 --> 00:29:07,554
Hi, hi, hi.
Hi, hello.
663
00:29:07,679 --> 00:29:09,420
This is my friend Kristin.
664
00:29:09,514 --> 00:29:10,584
Hey, Kristin.
665
00:29:10,682 --> 00:29:11,693
That's her little one, Katie.
666
00:29:11,717 --> 00:29:13,261
Kristin and I met
at Mommy and Me.
667
00:29:13,285 --> 00:29:14,286
Oh, sweet.
668
00:29:14,386 --> 00:29:15,387
So, how'd it go?
669
00:29:15,687 --> 00:29:17,633
I got the interview.
Great.
670
00:29:17,723 --> 00:29:19,601
I don't know what's going
to happen, but, you know,
671
00:29:19,625 --> 00:29:21,436
at least I... I'm just
hoping to have something
672
00:29:21,460 --> 00:29:23,133
to keep my mind
off of all of the.“
673
00:29:23,228 --> 00:29:24,605
- Yeah.
- You know.
674
00:29:24,696 --> 00:29:27,540
So, Sandy's ex-husband
just got remarried...
675
00:29:27,599 --> 00:29:29,101
Oh...
to, like, a 12-year-old.
676
00:29:29,201 --> 00:29:30,441
Yeah.So...
Oh!
677
00:29:31,603 --> 00:29:33,681
Well, I was actually going to say
carpooling and bagging lunches,
678
00:29:33,705 --> 00:29:35,616
- but, you know, or that.
- Okay, I'm sorry!
679
00:29:35,707 --> 00:29:37,185
I'd like to get my mind off of that.
680
00:29:37,209 --> 00:29:38,313
I'm sorry.
681
00:29:38,410 --> 00:29:39,450
I'm sorry!
No, it was just,
682
00:29:39,544 --> 00:29:40,824
we were on the topic of marriage
683
00:29:40,879 --> 00:29:44,725
Oh... and she's got
cold feet, which is...
684
00:29:44,816 --> 00:29:46,625
I get that I get that.
685
00:29:46,752 --> 00:29:48,396
So, that's what's happening here.
686
00:29:48,420 --> 00:29:49,626
Yeah.
Hi!
687
00:29:49,721 --> 00:29:51,641
- Yeah, we get it.
- But you know what?
688
00:29:51,723 --> 00:29:54,329
You don't know until you give
it a shot is the truth, right'?
689
00:29:54,426 --> 00:29:55,427
Yeah.
690
00:29:55,560 --> 00:30:00,805
Uh-uh. Really? Were
you, like, sure?
691
00:30:00,899 --> 00:30:02,344
Are you ever sure?
692
00:30:02,434 --> 00:30:03,469
I was sure.
693
00:30:03,568 --> 00:30:05,275
You were sure?
You were totally sure?
694
00:30:05,337 --> 00:30:07,840
100%, going Indian all the way.
695
00:30:09,474 --> 00:30:12,421
Huh. I mean, I was 100%
certain I wanted kids.
696
00:30:12,511 --> 00:30:14,286
Yeah, well, that, of course.
697
00:30:14,413 --> 00:30:17,826
I mean, I can't imagine... Just the
other stuff I don't know about.
698
00:30:17,916 --> 00:30:19,156
Well, that's you guys.
699
00:30:19,251 --> 00:30:21,822
I'm not the best person
to be giving marital advice.
700
00:30:21,920 --> 00:30:23,866
No, no, I do need to hear
701
00:30:23,955 --> 00:30:26,128
because it's the divorce
thing that scares me,
702
00:30:26,191 --> 00:30:29,536
because I don't know what that
would be like for her and...
703
00:30:29,761 --> 00:30:32,605
You don't go into a marriage thinking
you're going to get a divorce.
704
00:30:33,165 --> 00:30:34,872
- Obviously.
- Nobody does.
705
00:30:35,133 --> 00:30:37,272
You know, life happens
and if it does,
706
00:30:37,369 --> 00:30:40,009
then you've got a lot
more closet space...
707
00:30:40,105 --> 00:30:41,105
Yeah.
708
00:30:41,139 --> 00:30:44,120
Extra sink, no snoring,
you know, a lot of positives.
709
00:30:44,209 --> 00:30:45,210
Yeah.
710
00:30:45,310 --> 00:30:47,620
You're really just doing what's
best for the kids, right?
711
00:30:47,713 --> 00:30:49,556
And yourself, but the kids.
712
00:30:49,881 --> 00:30:52,054
By the way, your child is
eating sand, if you...
713
00:30:52,184 --> 00:30:53,686
Tanner, don't eat that.
714
00:30:53,785 --> 00:30:54,889
There's cat poop in it.
715
00:30:56,121 --> 00:30:57,121
That's so gross.
716
00:30:57,155 --> 00:30:58,835
What if there is cat poop...
No, he's fine.
717
00:30:58,957 --> 00:30:59,957
They survive...
718
00:30:59,991 --> 00:31:01,969
Cat poop... and then they
grow up to be just like us.
719
00:31:01,993 --> 00:31:04,701
Yeah, and they have
a very healthy immune system.
720
00:31:04,830 --> 00:31:06,607
- Anyway, I'm going to go to the kids' show.
- Okay.
721
00:31:06,631 --> 00:31:08,443
Hey, if you're going to come,
will you just text me?
722
00:31:08,467 --> 00:31:09,644
It was nice meeting you.
723
00:31:09,668 --> 00:31:10,812
Nice to meet you.
And I'll save you a seat?
724
00:31:10,836 --> 00:31:11,871
Yes.
725
00:31:11,970 --> 00:31:13,210
Okay, or tweet at me.
726
00:31:13,305 --> 00:31:14,716
Yeah, I'll text...
I'll tweet...
727
00:31:14,806 --> 00:31:16,410
What? Tweet you?
728
00:31:16,575 --> 00:31:18,453
- Yeah, see, right? That didn't sound right.
- Mmm-mmm.
729
00:31:18,477 --> 00:31:20,184
What is that?
I was just trying it out.
730
00:31:20,312 --> 00:31:21,382
Okay, bye.
731
00:31:24,149 --> 00:31:25,594
Kristin, what's wrong?
732
00:31:27,085 --> 00:31:28,257
What happened?
733
00:31:32,924 --> 00:31:33,924
Are you okay?
734
00:31:33,992 --> 00:31:37,337
I love Zack, but there's a
reason I'm afraid of marriage.
735
00:31:37,829 --> 00:31:38,830
Um...
736
00:31:41,767 --> 00:31:46,841
The truth is I have no
idea who the hell I am.
737
00:31:48,840 --> 00:31:51,411
That's a big one.
738
00:31:52,844 --> 00:31:54,380
I was adopted.
739
00:31:54,446 --> 00:31:55,550
Oh, okay.
740
00:31:55,914 --> 00:31:59,020
And I never met my
biological mother.
741
00:31:59,084 --> 00:32:00,529
You never told me that.
742
00:32:00,585 --> 00:32:03,794
Never told anyone
that, only Zack.
743
00:32:05,757 --> 00:32:10,263
And I've always wondered,
did she just throw me away?
744
00:32:10,595 --> 00:32:14,372
Or, you know, was there a
reason she got rid of me?
745
00:32:15,534 --> 00:32:17,707
Aw.
I have abandonment issues.
746
00:32:17,803 --> 00:32:22,616
Honey, I'm sure you have
a million questions,
747
00:32:22,974 --> 00:32:25,113
but then you know
what you have to do.
748
00:32:25,210 --> 00:32:26,553
You have to find your mother.
749
00:32:26,611 --> 00:32:28,386
I already did.
750
00:32:28,880 --> 00:32:30,450
Then I'm missing the point.
751
00:32:30,549 --> 00:32:32,551
I've no...
What do you mean?
752
00:32:32,617 --> 00:32:34,790
I mean, I have her address,
753
00:32:34,886 --> 00:32:38,390
I just haven't had
the courage to contact her.
754
00:32:38,490 --> 00:32:39,969
I'm really scared.
755
00:32:40,058 --> 00:32:41,901
God, of course. That's...
756
00:32:43,395 --> 00:32:45,397
Who wouldn't be?
I mean, that's crazy.
757
00:32:45,464 --> 00:32:47,910
You don't even know what
she's going to be like.
758
00:32:48,166 --> 00:32:49,645
You don't even know your mother
759
00:32:49,734 --> 00:32:51,407
and she has this power over you.
760
00:32:51,603 --> 00:32:54,243
You're going to have to
face it sooner or later.
761
00:32:54,306 --> 00:32:55,580
You can do it.
Really?
762
00:32:55,640 --> 00:32:56,812
Yes, you should just do it.
763
00:32:56,908 --> 00:32:58,854
You're right, you're
right, you're right.
764
00:32:58,944 --> 00:33:00,946
Okay.
Yeah, and get it over with.
765
00:33:01,012 --> 00:33:04,425
You're, you know...
I mean, now you'll face it.
766
00:33:04,950 --> 00:33:07,395
Yeah, I'm going to do it. You're
right, you're right, you're right.
767
00:33:07,419 --> 00:33:09,490
I'm going to do it. I got it.
768
00:33:09,588 --> 00:33:10,931
You will have it.
769
00:33:10,989 --> 00:33:12,195
Thanks, Jess.
770
00:33:12,290 --> 00:33:13,428
Hi, I'm Bobby Lee,
771
00:33:13,492 --> 00:33:16,962
principal here at Millard
Fillmore Middle School.
772
00:33:17,028 --> 00:33:18,769
And we're really
excited about this show.
773
00:33:18,830 --> 00:33:19,907
We're gonna star!
In a few minutes.
774
00:33:19,931 --> 00:33:21,642
The kids are very excited and
rater, we're going to be...
775
00:33:21,666 --> 00:33:22,838
Sandy, hi.
776
00:33:22,934 --> 00:33:25,471
.. . Featuring the Fillmore band
in concert. How about that?
777
00:33:25,537 --> 00:33:26,607
What are you doing here?
778
00:33:26,671 --> 00:33:29,174
I didn't think
you'd mind. Here.
779
00:33:29,274 --> 00:33:30,548
I kind of mind.
780
00:33:30,675 --> 00:33:31,949
I had to hear Peter's riff.
781
00:33:32,010 --> 00:33:33,354
We were up late last
night working on it.
782
00:33:33,378 --> 00:33:34,938
You were
working on Peter's riff?
783
00:33:35,013 --> 00:33:36,924
Yeah, I was in an
all-girl band in high school.
784
00:33:36,948 --> 00:33:38,985
My gosh, Peter's gotten so good.
785
00:33:39,050 --> 00:33:40,695
You know, we just want
to encourage his music,
786
00:33:40,719 --> 00:33:43,598
so we're taking the boys to the Foo
Fighters concert this weekend. But...
787
00:33:43,622 --> 00:33:44,932
What'? Don't say
anything to Peter.
788
00:33:44,956 --> 00:33:46,367
It's a surprise.
789
00:33:46,458 --> 00:33:49,632
And don't even get me
started on Dave Grohl.
790
00:33:49,728 --> 00:33:50,798
Don't tell Henry.
791
00:33:50,862 --> 00:33:54,639
Okay, Tina, Tina, Tina,
Tina, that's it.
792
00:33:54,699 --> 00:33:56,372
I'm done. I'm done
with surprises.
793
00:33:56,468 --> 00:34:00,211
I really am. This week,
enough surprises, seriously.
794
00:34:00,372 --> 00:34:01,851
Okay, is something wrong?
795
00:34:01,907 --> 00:34:03,409
Yes, something is wrong.
796
00:34:03,508 --> 00:34:06,717
I got here an hour early, so I
could get a front row seat,
797
00:34:06,811 --> 00:34:10,384
and have a perfect camera
angle and watch my children.
798
00:34:10,482 --> 00:34:12,325
And now you're sitting
right here next to me.
799
00:34:12,384 --> 00:34:13,886
Because the seat was open.
800
00:34:13,985 --> 00:34:18,161
It was for my purse, my purse's seat,
okay'? My purse's seat is right here.
801
00:34:20,025 --> 00:34:23,563
God, you cannot just show up
here late and then sit there.
802
00:34:23,662 --> 00:34:25,664
You just can't
do that. We need...
803
00:34:25,730 --> 00:34:27,073
We need boundaries.
804
00:34:27,165 --> 00:34:28,439
We need some rules, Tina.
805
00:34:28,667 --> 00:34:29,668
Rules?
806
00:34:29,734 --> 00:34:31,771
Like, sitting in an open seat?
807
00:34:31,870 --> 00:34:33,907
I don't know what
the rules are yet, Tina.
808
00:34:34,005 --> 00:34:35,983
I don't know what they are,
but I just know we have them,
809
00:34:36,007 --> 00:34:37,714
and you're breaking all of them.
Okay.
810
00:34:37,842 --> 00:34:39,320
- I've just gotta get...
- Ladies and gentlemen,
811
00:34:39,344 --> 00:34:41,221
Animals on Parade!
812
00:34:41,379 --> 00:34:46,692
Old MacDonald
had a farm Ee I ee I oh
813
00:34:47,385 --> 00:34:50,559
And on his farm
he had a penguin...
814
00:34:50,622 --> 00:34:52,624
What, why?
815
00:34:52,857 --> 00:34:55,428
He also had a helper, it seems.
816
00:34:55,594 --> 00:34:57,369
Oh, there's Mikey.
Hi, honey.
817
00:34:57,796 --> 00:34:59,207
A lion! He's got a...
818
00:35:00,699 --> 00:35:03,441
Oh, my God, the
costume's on backwards.
819
00:35:03,535 --> 00:35:04,980
He had a lion...
820
00:35:07,872 --> 00:35:09,044
Did you do that?
821
00:35:10,041 --> 00:35:11,042
Peter.
822
00:35:11,710 --> 00:35:12,950
Don't touch it, don't touch it.
823
00:35:17,048 --> 00:35:19,392
Ee I ee I oh
824
00:35:20,385 --> 00:35:21,557
Yeah, that's good.
825
00:35:21,620 --> 00:35:23,657
The producers have asked
to push the crystals.
826
00:35:23,755 --> 00:35:25,234
Traffic has slowed down.
827
00:35:26,091 --> 00:35:29,800
Five, four, three, two...
828
00:35:31,329 --> 00:35:32,933
Welcome back, everyone.
829
00:35:32,998 --> 00:35:34,807
All right, dads and husbands,
830
00:35:34,899 --> 00:35:38,244
take a look at these
beautiful mood pendants.
831
00:35:38,303 --> 00:35:41,773
Mother's Day, just a few days
away, this is your chance.
832
00:35:43,074 --> 00:35:44,678
And we're clear.
833
00:35:54,819 --> 00:35:57,663
We need a price check
on organic cotton...
834
00:35:58,423 --> 00:35:59,697
No, that's not necessary.
835
00:35:59,791 --> 00:36:01,600
They are...
They're 9 bucks.
836
00:36:01,660 --> 00:36:03,139
They're 9 bucks each.
837
00:36:03,194 --> 00:36:06,607
Cancel that price check on
tampons, the organic cotton ones.
838
00:36:08,667 --> 00:36:09,668
Daughter?
839
00:36:11,536 --> 00:36:13,516
Oh, uh, yeah.
840
00:36:14,172 --> 00:36:18,518
Two actually, but only one is
currently, you know, becoming a woman.
841
00:36:19,477 --> 00:36:20,478
Got you.
842
00:36:22,113 --> 00:36:24,491
Yeah, their mom
used to do this, but...
843
00:36:26,451 --> 00:36:27,657
Well, I do it now.
844
00:36:28,119 --> 00:36:29,860
Same boat, two sons.
845
00:36:31,890 --> 00:36:33,631
How is that the same boat?
846
00:36:34,826 --> 00:36:38,035
I guess just the number.
847
00:36:40,131 --> 00:36:43,408
Sorry, I don't usually eavesdrop
on other people's carts.
848
00:36:43,501 --> 00:36:47,005
It's just... I'm Sandy,
I have two sons.
849
00:36:47,806 --> 00:36:48,876
I already said that.
850
00:36:49,641 --> 00:36:50,642
Yes, you did.
851
00:36:50,709 --> 00:36:52,746
I can take you over here.
Oh, thank you.
852
00:36:55,146 --> 00:36:58,650
Sandy, two sons, same boat.
853
00:36:58,983 --> 00:37:00,155
Oh, thank you.
854
00:37:00,218 --> 00:37:01,754
All right, well, bye.
855
00:37:01,986 --> 00:37:05,058
Yeah, it was nice meeting you,
Sandy with two sons.
856
00:37:05,156 --> 00:37:06,658
It was two, right'?
857
00:37:07,225 --> 00:37:08,329
Yeah.
858
00:37:13,665 --> 00:37:15,201
Hey, Henry, what's up?
859
00:37:15,834 --> 00:37:18,405
Hey, are the boys'
passports up to date?
860
00:37:20,739 --> 00:37:22,776
Their passports?
861
00:37:23,074 --> 00:37:25,384
I am planning our
summer vacation.
862
00:37:25,610 --> 00:37:26,611
Um...
863
00:37:27,545 --> 00:37:32,858
Okay, where are you
planning this vacation?
864
00:37:33,184 --> 00:37:35,960
We're going to Paris.
Tina's never been.
865
00:37:36,588 --> 00:37:38,568
Paris, uh, France?
866
00:37:39,190 --> 00:37:40,191
Uh-huh.
867
00:37:40,391 --> 00:37:41,870
Are you kidding me?
868
00:37:42,360 --> 00:37:44,636
No, I'm not. Why?
869
00:37:44,729 --> 00:37:46,106
I got to go.
870
00:37:47,398 --> 00:37:48,536
Bye.
871
00:37:50,268 --> 00:37:51,372
Hello?
872
00:37:52,403 --> 00:37:53,541
Hello?
873
00:37:55,707 --> 00:37:57,709
So, how'd she take it?
874
00:37:59,043 --> 00:38:00,454
Like a champ.
875
00:38:02,881 --> 00:38:05,760
Oh, you've got to be kidding me!
876
00:38:06,551 --> 00:38:08,553
Paris?
877
00:38:09,387 --> 00:38:11,389
Paris, Paris, Paris!
878
00:38:11,623 --> 00:38:12,624
That's...
879
00:38:13,057 --> 00:38:17,267
We could not get our shit together
for 13 years to get to Paris.
880
00:38:19,130 --> 00:38:21,132
Now he's taking Tina. Tina.
881
00:38:21,232 --> 00:38:22,905
Now he's taking Tina.
882
00:38:23,334 --> 00:38:27,146
It's the only place I've wanted to go
since I was a kid and I read Madeline!
883
00:38:27,405 --> 00:38:29,851
I don't even think she knows
who the hell Madeline is!
884
00:38:30,275 --> 00:38:34,018
Oh, my God,
this is not happening!
885
00:38:34,112 --> 00:38:35,989
This is not happening!
886
00:38:37,749 --> 00:38:41,253
Oh, man, you know, you couldn't
have taken her to London
887
00:38:41,319 --> 00:38:44,425
or to fuckin' Disneyland maybe?
888
00:38:44,489 --> 00:38:46,992
I don't know, how about
take her to the prom?
889
00:38:47,091 --> 00:38:49,628
That's somewhere I bet
she hasn't been yet.
890
00:38:50,128 --> 00:38:51,129
Jesus...
891
00:38:53,331 --> 00:38:55,709
Freaking Tina!
892
00:38:58,937 --> 00:39:00,280
I'd hate to see her in traffic.
893
00:39:00,338 --> 00:39:01,612
Yeah.
894
00:39:06,611 --> 00:39:07,851
That's ii.
895
00:39:07,946 --> 00:39:09,220
That's it' go!
896
00:39:09,447 --> 00:39:10,448
Over here!
897
00:39:11,316 --> 00:39:12,351
Cross it!
898
00:39:13,785 --> 00:39:15,628
That's it. Rachel's open.
899
00:39:15,687 --> 00:39:17,496
There you go. That's it.
900
00:39:17,989 --> 00:39:19,024
Yeah, move it!
901
00:39:19,123 --> 00:39:20,124
Hurry!
902
00:39:23,194 --> 00:39:24,639
Goal!
903
00:39:29,234 --> 00:39:31,578
Did not cross
the line! No goal!
904
00:39:31,669 --> 00:39:34,548
What? What? What are
you talking about?
905
00:39:34,639 --> 00:39:35,845
Go back to your coaching area!
906
00:39:35,907 --> 00:39:37,985
No, no, no, no, not until
you reverse that call, man.
907
00:39:38,009 --> 00:39:39,044
I'm warning you.
908
00:39:39,143 --> 00:39:41,089
Hey, you're warning me what?
Look at the crowd.
909
00:39:41,512 --> 00:39:43,219
Easy, mister.
I've got this, Lisa.
910
00:39:43,314 --> 00:39:44,391
What? There's not
many of them.
911
00:39:44,415 --> 00:39:45,485
No, no, look at them.
912
00:39:46,150 --> 00:39:47,652
Okay, you've got,
like, five dozen
913
00:39:47,719 --> 00:39:49,196
different recorded
versions of that play
914
00:39:49,220 --> 00:39:50,756
you completely
missed right there.
915
00:39:50,855 --> 00:39:52,175
Why don't you
just walk over there
916
00:39:52,223 --> 00:39:53,500
and ask one of them
to replay it for you,
917
00:39:53,524 --> 00:39:54,969
then you'll see you're wrong,
we'll win the game
918
00:39:54,993 --> 00:39:57,153
and then you can stumble home
with your seeing-eye dog.
919
00:39:57,195 --> 00:39:58,606
That's it.
920
00:39:58,997 --> 00:40:00,067
Yellow card!
921
00:40:01,266 --> 00:40:02,711
Yellow card?
Are you...
922
00:40:03,701 --> 00:40:05,044
Oh, he blew
another man's whistle.
923
00:40:05,169 --> 00:40:06,647
Did you just blow my whistle?
You're damn right.
924
00:40:06,671 --> 00:40:07,982
You do not blow
another man's whistle.
925
00:40:08,006 --> 00:40:10,077
You do when he
blows the game for you!
926
00:40:10,174 --> 00:40:12,780
All right, that's it, red card!
927
00:40:13,211 --> 00:40:14,212
You're gone.
928
00:40:14,345 --> 00:40:15,949
I'm gone? Okay,
good to know.
929
00:40:16,047 --> 00:40:17,685
Okay, you know what'?
I'm gone.
930
00:40:18,216 --> 00:40:20,196
Now your hall's gone.
That's what's gone, okay?
931
00:40:20,285 --> 00:40:21,355
Hey, Kimberly!
932
00:40:21,853 --> 00:40:22,923
Oh, I've got to go!
933
00:40:23,021 --> 00:40:25,092
- You take over, okay?
- Yeah, you better go.
934
00:40:25,189 --> 00:40:26,767
Yeah, thank you. If
anybody's looking for me,
935
00:40:26,791 --> 00:40:29,237
I'll be out in the parking lot
calling LensCrafters,
936
00:40:29,294 --> 00:40:30,864
making that guy an appointment!
937
00:40:31,362 --> 00:40:33,162
Baby, you better go.
You're going to get hurt.
938
00:40:33,798 --> 00:40:35,243
Spare ball, please.
939
00:40:35,366 --> 00:40:36,538
Knucklehead!
940
00:40:43,708 --> 00:40:46,211
All right, you're gone.
941
00:40:47,712 --> 00:40:51,057
You... A pox
upon your whistle.
942
00:40:54,385 --> 00:40:55,489
Play ball!
943
00:40:56,054 --> 00:40:57,089
Next.
944
00:40:57,588 --> 00:41:00,660
Yeah, hi. Could we
get a large pizza?
945
00:41:00,758 --> 00:41:02,635
What kind you want?
Cheese.
946
00:41:03,328 --> 00:41:05,569
Large cheese pizza
and three sodas to go.
947
00:41:05,663 --> 00:41:07,074
Wait over there, please.
948
00:41:08,433 --> 00:41:11,243
Where'd you hear that "pox on my whistle"?
What's that from?
949
00:41:11,336 --> 00:41:13,282
Shakespeare.
Shakespeare, huh?
950
00:41:13,404 --> 00:41:14,610
William Shakespeare?
951
00:41:14,739 --> 00:41:16,116
No, Bob Shakespeare.
952
00:41:16,240 --> 00:41:17,275
Who else would it...
953
00:41:17,408 --> 00:41:18,910
Why are you talking
to me like this?
954
00:41:19,911 --> 00:41:21,083
You, too, now?
955
00:41:21,612 --> 00:41:22,890
I can't believe we lost.
956
00:41:22,914 --> 00:41:24,058
I think that ball was deflated.
957
00:41:24,082 --> 00:41:25,117
Totally.
958
00:41:25,183 --> 00:41:26,491
Tom Brady is hot.
959
00:41:29,287 --> 00:41:31,699
Hey, want to go
get some ice cream?
960
00:41:31,789 --> 00:41:33,166
As a makeup present?
961
00:41:33,291 --> 00:41:34,429
Make up for what'?
962
00:41:34,592 --> 00:41:36,503
Acting like Mopey Dick
half the time.
963
00:41:36,594 --> 00:41:37,937
I'm sorry, Mopey Dick?
964
00:41:38,529 --> 00:41:41,510
Yeah, being sad all the time,
965
00:41:41,599 --> 00:41:45,547
obsessing over soccer so
you can get closer to Mom,
966
00:41:46,471 --> 00:41:49,452
watching those
videos over and over.
967
00:41:51,376 --> 00:41:55,324
She's gone, Dad, and we're
all sad, but for how long?
968
00:41:55,446 --> 00:41:57,791
And acting like an asshole with
that ref doesn't help anyone.
969
00:41:57,815 --> 00:41:58,850
Hey, watch your language.
970
00:41:58,950 --> 00:42:00,224
You know what?
Yeah, I cuss.
971
00:42:00,318 --> 00:42:02,298
That's because I'm
an unsupervised teen
972
00:42:02,353 --> 00:42:04,264
and while I'm at it, I don't
mind taking care of Vicky
973
00:42:04,288 --> 00:42:06,063
and doing all the housework
and the cooking.
974
00:42:06,157 --> 00:42:08,398
Dad, I'm only 16, I have a life.
975
00:42:08,559 --> 00:42:09,867
I know, okay?
976
00:42:11,896 --> 00:42:13,807
Tommy's here.
I've got to go.
977
00:42:14,632 --> 00:42:16,669
Wait, where are you going?
Just stop.
978
00:42:17,568 --> 00:42:19,411
Is this the boy that likes you?
979
00:42:19,504 --> 00:42:21,415
Hey, Rachel, what are you doing?
980
00:42:22,240 --> 00:42:23,480
Go, come on.
981
00:42:23,541 --> 00:42:24,941
Rachel, get out of the car.
982
00:42:25,843 --> 00:42:26,878
Get out.
983
00:42:26,978 --> 00:42:29,015
You're going to roll
up the window on me.
984
00:42:29,147 --> 00:42:32,526
Hey, wait until it stops
and then get out of the car.
985
00:42:33,151 --> 00:42:34,653
Unbelievable.
986
00:42:37,755 --> 00:42:39,928
But my friend comes
to me and she goes,
987
00:42:40,024 --> 00:42:44,063
"Oh, my God, Mia, I have met
the perfect guy for you."
988
00:42:44,162 --> 00:42:48,372
She shows me his picture, and
this dude was at feast 75, okay?
989
00:42:50,168 --> 00:42:51,340
And I am not.
990
00:42:53,004 --> 00:42:56,008
And I said, ”Um, his eyes
have cataracts,
991
00:42:57,542 --> 00:42:59,579
"mine have hope, okay?"
992
00:43:04,215 --> 00:43:05,626
She is killing 'em.
993
00:43:07,351 --> 00:43:09,092
She's also killing the boss.
994
00:43:36,814 --> 00:43:38,316
Oh, I'm so sorry!
Are you okay?
995
00:43:38,416 --> 00:43:40,123
Yes, I'm fine, I'm fine.
996
00:43:40,218 --> 00:43:42,596
Do you know where the pool is?
I'm looking for Miranda Collins.
997
00:43:42,620 --> 00:43:43,697
Yeah, it's right
through that door.
998
00:43:43,721 --> 00:43:45,721
- But, can I help you with the rip?
- No, I'm...
999
00:43:45,823 --> 00:43:47,367
Sorry, watch out behind you.
Sorry, sorry, sorry!
1000
00:43:47,391 --> 00:43:49,234
Thank you. You sure I
can't help with the rip?
1001
00:43:49,327 --> 00:43:50,567
I got a safety pin.
1002
00:43:50,661 --> 00:43:52,834
No, no, thank you,
I'm late for a meeting.
1003
00:43:53,231 --> 00:43:55,006
Bigger smile.
Bigger smile, yeah.
1004
00:43:55,099 --> 00:43:57,101
There you go. Perfect.
1005
00:43:57,235 --> 00:43:58,771
Have a nice day.
Next.
1006
00:43:59,003 --> 00:44:00,003
Thank you.
1007
00:44:00,071 --> 00:44:01,846
Congratulations.
1008
00:44:01,939 --> 00:44:03,850
No, no, no.
No, no, no, no! Shoot!
1009
00:44:04,275 --> 00:44:05,310
One more.
1010
00:44:05,409 --> 00:44:08,185
Ma'am, these are contest winners.
Only they get pictures.
1011
00:44:08,279 --> 00:44:09,823
I'm not... I'm actually
not here for a picture.
1012
00:44:09,847 --> 00:44:11,121
I'm here to show Miranda this.
1013
00:44:11,249 --> 00:44:12,284
Fine, stay here.
1014
00:44:12,416 --> 00:44:13,760
But, there's actually...
Hey, hey, hey!
1015
00:44:13,784 --> 00:44:14,785
How cute.
1016
00:44:14,919 --> 00:44:15,989
That's very sweet Miranda!
1017
00:44:16,087 --> 00:44:17,930
I'm sorry, that's...
Congratulations.
1018
00:44:18,022 --> 00:44:19,626
I'm not a contest winner.
1019
00:44:19,757 --> 00:44:20,997
Then why am I hugging you?
1020
00:44:21,092 --> 00:44:23,197
I'm sorry. I'm late.
I'm here for the interview.
1021
00:44:23,294 --> 00:44:24,404
We're not doing any press today.
1022
00:44:24,428 --> 00:44:25,548
No. I'm not
interviewing you.
1023
00:44:25,596 --> 00:44:27,074
She's interviewing me.
You need to calm down.
1024
00:44:27,098 --> 00:44:29,544
I need to calm down?
I'm not here for a photograph.
1025
00:44:29,634 --> 00:44:31,170
I'm here for a job.
1026
00:44:31,269 --> 00:44:32,441
Oh, you must be Sandy.
1027
00:44:32,503 --> 00:44:33,607
Yes, I'm Sandy!
1028
00:44:33,671 --> 00:44:35,673
Yes! Well, you missed
the design meeting.
1029
00:44:35,773 --> 00:44:36,917
Miranda is a very busy person.
1030
00:44:36,941 --> 00:44:38,341
Oh, really'?
Is Miranda busy?
1031
00:44:38,809 --> 00:44:40,482
Well, I would have
been here on time
1032
00:44:40,545 --> 00:44:42,149
if my ex-husband
hadn't married a tween,
1033
00:44:42,280 --> 00:44:45,853
or if my doctor had called in
my child's asthma medication,
1034
00:44:45,950 --> 00:44:47,486
or if my mother-mobile
went faster
1035
00:44:47,552 --> 00:44:49,054
than 4 miles per
hour on the freeway.
1036
00:44:49,287 --> 00:44:52,234
But I understand it. I get ii.
Her time is very valuable.
1037
00:44:52,323 --> 00:44:55,463
And she's very busy.
My time is not.
1038
00:44:59,497 --> 00:45:01,477
My bra's on inside oui.
1039
00:45:02,466 --> 00:45:04,111
Would you like me
to help you with your bra?
1040
00:45:04,135 --> 00:45:06,479
No! Uh... Thank you, though.
1041
00:45:08,005 --> 00:45:09,382
I like your blouse.
1042
00:45:10,308 --> 00:45:12,015
Thank you. I just made this.
1043
00:45:16,314 --> 00:45:17,349
Next.
1044
00:45:18,649 --> 00:45:19,923
Look at me, look right here.
1045
00:45:22,987 --> 00:45:25,263
It's not a date. Oh, just...
1046
00:45:27,325 --> 00:45:28,395
Great.
1047
00:45:28,492 --> 00:45:30,028
That's a waste of my time.
1048
00:45:30,161 --> 00:45:33,005
Oh, I'm Miranda. I'm the
busiest woman in the world.
1049
00:45:33,664 --> 00:45:34,836
Where is she, Betty?
1050
00:45:34,899 --> 00:45:36,503
There she is,
talking to herself.
1051
00:45:36,834 --> 00:45:37,869
Thanks, Betty.
1052
00:45:39,337 --> 00:45:41,180
Excuse me, ma'am.
1053
00:45:42,006 --> 00:45:44,452
I'm sorry, Miss Collins
would like to see you now.
1054
00:45:45,509 --> 00:45:46,886
She would'?
Yes.
1055
00:45:47,345 --> 00:45:48,415
Okay.
1056
00:45:48,512 --> 00:45:49,889
Oh, shoot!
1057
00:45:50,248 --> 00:45:51,249
Um...
1058
00:45:51,949 --> 00:45:53,690
One second, one second.
1059
00:45:55,386 --> 00:45:57,059
Can I help you with something?
1060
00:45:57,888 --> 00:45:59,600
Watch yourself.
Don't get stuck in there now.
1061
00:45:59,624 --> 00:46:00,625
Would you...
Okay, sure.
1062
00:46:00,725 --> 00:46:01,760
I got it. I got it.
Yep.
1063
00:46:01,859 --> 00:46:03,304
Okay?
Yes, I got ii.
1064
00:46:03,394 --> 00:46:05,271
You sure you got everything?
Hello in there.
1065
00:46:05,363 --> 00:46:06,440
You want this back?
No, no, no.
1066
00:46:06,464 --> 00:46:07,704
No, okay.
1067
00:46:09,567 --> 00:46:14,641
Uh, okay, so,
I was trying to create
1068
00:46:14,739 --> 00:46:17,481
a little bit more
flow and, um...
1069
00:46:19,710 --> 00:46:22,054
Gosh, your head just really
snapped right off there.
1070
00:46:22,113 --> 00:46:23,114
Anyhow.
1071
00:46:23,214 --> 00:46:26,058
So, that's why I kind of
rounded out these edges
1072
00:46:26,250 --> 00:46:27,593
a little bit and opened it up.
1073
00:46:27,718 --> 00:46:28,719
And also, um...
1074
00:46:28,819 --> 00:46:30,560
How long has
your son had asthma?
1075
00:46:32,723 --> 00:46:34,259
His whole life.
1076
00:46:35,059 --> 00:46:38,302
But the doctors say that they
can grow out of it sometimes.
1077
00:46:41,165 --> 00:46:42,735
Do you have kids?
No.
1078
00:46:43,601 --> 00:46:45,012
Career.
Sure.
1079
00:46:45,102 --> 00:46:46,103
Keeps me busy.
1080
00:46:46,437 --> 00:46:48,747
Yeah, of course.
1081
00:46:49,607 --> 00:46:54,078
Tell me more about this
tween and your ex-husband.
1082
00:46:54,679 --> 00:46:56,488
Oh, yeah.
1083
00:46:56,580 --> 00:46:59,254
Oh, I'm sure I exaggerated
about that a little bit.
1084
00:46:59,350 --> 00:47:02,297
I'm sure she's older,
but I'll have a better idea
1085
00:47:02,420 --> 00:47:03,831
once all the acne clears up.
1086
00:47:05,923 --> 00:47:07,300
You're funny.
1087
00:47:07,358 --> 00:47:09,201
You have to be
more fun than she is.
1088
00:47:09,293 --> 00:47:12,137
I am, I am.
1089
00:47:12,930 --> 00:47:14,967
Well, you should hold on to that.
Yeah.
1090
00:47:16,267 --> 00:47:17,439
Yeah.
1091
00:47:18,936 --> 00:47:22,315
Okay, I feel like I should keep
pitching you my... The set, so...
1092
00:47:22,373 --> 00:47:24,546
No, not at all.
You're hired.
1093
00:47:25,543 --> 00:47:27,352
Mmm-hmm.
That's it?
1094
00:47:27,445 --> 00:47:30,187
And I dare say with this new
job, you might be able to afford
1095
00:47:30,281 --> 00:47:31,624
a slightly faster car.
1096
00:47:32,383 --> 00:47:34,863
Not a Maserati,
but slightly faster car.
1097
00:47:34,952 --> 00:47:37,364
I'm so sorry for that
explosion out there.
1098
00:47:37,455 --> 00:47:40,231
Don't be. It got our
attention, didn't it'?
1099
00:47:40,324 --> 00:47:42,167
Also a trait to hold on to.
1100
00:47:42,727 --> 00:47:44,400
Okay, thank you.
1101
00:47:44,495 --> 00:47:47,738
I'll hold onto that, and I'm
funny... I've a lot to hold on to.
1102
00:47:47,832 --> 00:47:50,335
I know that you're
very busy, Miranda, so...
1103
00:47:50,468 --> 00:47:52,004
One last thing.
1104
00:47:52,136 --> 00:47:54,844
There is one final
souvenir to give away,
1105
00:47:54,972 --> 00:47:57,646
though you were not
an essay-contest winner.
1106
00:47:58,976 --> 00:48:02,014
Thank you. 100% gold-plated
hypoallergenic bangle.
1107
00:48:02,146 --> 00:48:03,147
Oh.
Just for you.
1108
00:48:03,481 --> 00:48:06,189
Oh, my gosh.
This has been a great day.
1109
00:48:09,920 --> 00:48:12,491
Jess, our blender's broken.
We're using yours.
1110
00:48:12,590 --> 00:48:13,728
Okay.-
Hey.
1111
00:48:13,824 --> 00:48:14,825
Hi.
1112
00:48:14,892 --> 00:48:16,098
Where's Russell and the kids?
1113
00:48:16,193 --> 00:48:19,504
Oh, they're out in the garage popping
the bubble wrap on the float.
1114
00:48:23,000 --> 00:48:24,502
It's them. You answer it.
1115
00:48:24,602 --> 00:48:25,602
It's your Skype.
1116
00:48:25,669 --> 00:48:26,704
It's your parents.
1117
00:48:26,771 --> 00:48:28,079
Your parents, too.
1118
00:48:28,172 --> 00:48:29,242
You know what?
1119
00:48:29,340 --> 00:48:32,082
This is something that I can do for
you, is answer and talk to them.
1120
00:48:32,176 --> 00:48:33,917
Thank you.
But I'd rather do this.
1121
00:48:35,179 --> 00:48:37,090
Oh, my God.
1122
00:48:37,882 --> 00:48:39,122
Dad.
1123
00:48:39,683 --> 00:48:40,684
Hi, Jess.
1124
00:48:40,785 --> 00:48:44,130
I want to talk to you about a Mothers
Day present for my old lady.
1125
00:48:44,355 --> 00:48:45,356
Uh...
1126
00:48:45,890 --> 00:48:49,269
The old lady, meaning my mother?
1127
00:48:49,360 --> 00:48:52,364
Yeah, I've got the greatest
idea in the world.
1128
00:48:52,430 --> 00:48:53,431
Okay.
1129
00:48:53,531 --> 00:48:57,104
A present that's going to knock
your mama plum cut of her panties.
1130
00:48:57,201 --> 00:48:58,202
Whoo!
1131
00:48:58,569 --> 00:49:01,641
Dad, that is a really
interesting visual.
1132
00:49:01,739 --> 00:49:03,582
What are you guys talking about?
1133
00:49:03,707 --> 00:49:06,620
Mom, I thought... Dad, I thought
you wanted it to be a surprise?
1134
00:49:06,710 --> 00:49:08,383
Oh, I! will be.
1135
00:49:08,479 --> 00:49:10,220
Come in, door's open.
1136
00:49:11,148 --> 00:49:12,252
Hello?
1137
00:49:13,484 --> 00:49:14,895
Hello? Dad?
1138
00:49:15,319 --> 00:49:16,491
Surprise!
1139
00:49:17,555 --> 00:49:19,728
Oh, my God!
That was... What?
1140
00:49:20,591 --> 00:49:22,070
What?
1141
00:49:24,261 --> 00:49:27,834
Yes, you have that here now.
1142
00:49:27,932 --> 00:49:29,912
That's crazy.
1143
00:49:30,835 --> 00:49:32,007
Gabi!
1144
00:49:33,737 --> 00:49:35,080
Gabi!
1145
00:49:35,573 --> 00:49:36,950
Oh, It' you guys-
1146
00:49:37,007 --> 00:49:38,179
Yeah, it is!
1147
00:49:39,677 --> 00:49:41,156
Oh, sweetheart.
1148
00:49:41,245 --> 00:49:42,889
Gabi, you're not
going to believe it.
1149
00:49:42,913 --> 00:49:45,860
You guys are
supposed to be in Texas.
1150
00:49:45,950 --> 00:49:47,190
I lied.
1151
00:49:47,685 --> 00:49:49,961
We've been driving
20 hours straight.
1152
00:49:50,087 --> 00:49:52,795
I thought with us making up
on the Skype and all
1153
00:49:52,923 --> 00:49:53,993
and Gabi's engagement,
1154
00:49:54,091 --> 00:49:57,766
what a great
Mother's Day surprise,
1155
00:49:57,862 --> 00:49:59,466
a couple of days early.
1156
00:49:59,597 --> 00:50:00,667
Mom, Dad!
1157
00:50:00,764 --> 00:50:02,971
What are you guys doing here?
1158
00:50:03,367 --> 00:50:04,368
Yay!
1159
00:50:05,169 --> 00:50:06,614
Oh!
1160
00:50:07,872 --> 00:50:08,872
Hi, Daddy.
1161
00:50:08,939 --> 00:50:10,350
Hi, sweetheart.
1162
00:50:10,441 --> 00:50:12,785
Hey, listen. Uh, where's
the little ladies' room?
1163
00:50:12,877 --> 00:50:14,515
- Down the hall.
- I'll be right back.
1164
00:50:14,612 --> 00:50:16,114
I just can't take him anywhere.
1165
00:50:16,280 --> 00:50:17,782
Oh...
Oh!
1166
00:50:17,848 --> 00:50:21,352
Well, I'll say,
this is some kind of case.
1167
00:50:21,785 --> 00:50:23,196
Thank you.
1168
00:50:23,287 --> 00:50:25,028
That's not good.
It's not good.
1169
00:50:25,122 --> 00:50:26,967
You need to call Russell.
Text Russell right now.
1170
00:50:26,991 --> 00:50:28,026
Okay.
1171
00:50:28,125 --> 00:50:29,135
Text Russell, tell him
don't leave the garage
1172
00:50:29,159 --> 00:50:30,604
and don't let the kids
get out of the garage.
1173
00:50:30,628 --> 00:50:31,663
Just stay in the garage.
1174
00:50:31,962 --> 00:50:33,964
Oh, look at that picture.
1175
00:50:34,064 --> 00:50:35,134
I don't like it.
1176
00:50:36,300 --> 00:50:37,802
I don't live here.
1177
00:50:38,135 --> 00:50:41,742
Uh... Oh, hello there,
I'm Gabi's mom.
1178
00:50:41,839 --> 00:50:43,580
You must be Steven.
1179
00:50:44,575 --> 00:50:45,576
Oh!
1180
00:50:47,144 --> 00:50:48,214
I'm sorry.
1181
00:50:48,312 --> 00:50:51,589
I'm sorry, I thought
you were someone else.
1182
00:50:51,682 --> 00:50:53,025
You're Gabi's mom?
1183
00:50:53,150 --> 00:50:54,527
Yes, and who are you?
Oh.
1184
00:50:54,652 --> 00:50:55,653
Um, I'm...
1185
00:50:56,587 --> 00:51:01,229
I'm Max, I'm Gabi's partner.
1186
00:51:01,325 --> 00:51:05,171
In crime. This is her
partner in crime, Max.
1187
00:51:06,664 --> 00:51:09,508
Well, good as new.
1188
00:51:09,567 --> 00:51:10,568
Oh.
1189
00:51:10,668 --> 00:51:11,840
You got any beer?
1190
00:51:12,169 --> 00:51:13,204
Yes.
1191
00:51:13,337 --> 00:51:14,873
We could always
go out for a beer.
1192
00:51:15,239 --> 00:51:16,513
Uh, uh...
1193
00:51:16,607 --> 00:51:18,382
Hoegaarden, Stella...
1194
00:51:18,943 --> 00:51:20,422
No.
Kingfisher...
1195
00:51:20,511 --> 00:51:24,186
It sounds like
the freakin' United Nations.
1196
00:51:24,715 --> 00:51:28,959
Uh, no, no, I'll import
some American brew from my RV.
1197
00:51:29,053 --> 00:51:30,191
Be right back.
1198
00:51:30,254 --> 00:51:31,460
Where is Steven?
1199
00:51:32,856 --> 00:51:33,891
Oh.
1200
00:51:34,024 --> 00:51:35,401
Good luck.
Steven is...
1201
00:51:35,526 --> 00:51:36,526
Steven.
1202
00:51:36,560 --> 00:51:37,595
The one that...
1203
00:51:37,695 --> 00:51:38,730
Gabi's fiancé.
1204
00:51:38,796 --> 00:51:41,072
I'm excited to meet
my future son-in-law.
1205
00:51:41,198 --> 00:51:42,609
Are you? Okay.
1206
00:51:42,700 --> 00:51:45,806
Mom, um, there is no Steven.
1207
00:51:45,903 --> 00:51:47,905
Max is my partner.
1208
00:51:49,640 --> 00:51:51,210
Your business partner?
1209
00:51:52,376 --> 00:51:54,879
No, um, my life partner.
1210
00:51:55,879 --> 00:51:57,449
Your li...
1211
00:51:57,881 --> 00:51:59,121
Uh, what...
1212
00:51:59,216 --> 00:52:01,059
I'm Gabi's wife.
1213
00:52:01,385 --> 00:52:02,386
Huh?
1214
00:52:02,553 --> 00:52:04,658
We're wives.
1215
00:52:05,422 --> 00:52:07,561
No! No!
1216
00:52:08,892 --> 00:52:10,166
What did I miss?
Oh!
1217
00:52:10,928 --> 00:52:12,806
A heck of an episode
of The Jerry Springer Show.
1218
00:52:12,830 --> 00:52:14,503
Doesn't get any
better than Jerry.
1219
00:52:14,598 --> 00:52:17,579
Hey, Jesse, why am I
staying in the... Oh, hello.
1220
00:52:17,668 --> 00:52:19,268
Go back. And we are
back from commercial.
1221
00:52:20,604 --> 00:52:21,742
Are you the houseboy?
1222
00:52:22,906 --> 00:52:24,647
No, who the hell are you?
1223
00:52:24,742 --> 00:52:26,153
Well, I'm Jesse's father.
1224
00:52:26,243 --> 00:52:27,363
Okay, that's not funny, pal,
1225
00:52:27,411 --> 00:52:29,857
because Jesse's
father and mother
1226
00:52:29,947 --> 00:52:32,427
are in a dementia
facility in Arizona, right?
1227
00:52:32,916 --> 00:52:35,362
Dementia, my butt.
1228
00:52:35,919 --> 00:52:37,262
We live in Texas.
1229
00:52:37,921 --> 00:52:39,921
You're going to tell me
that you're Jesse's mother?
1230
00:52:40,257 --> 00:52:41,292
Oh, yeah.
1231
00:52:41,425 --> 00:52:43,632
Well, who in
the Sam H. are you?
1232
00:52:43,761 --> 00:52:46,605
Well, I am Jesse's husband,
I think.
1233
00:52:46,930 --> 00:52:49,433
Are we on The Jerry Springer
Show right now?
1234
00:52:49,533 --> 00:52:51,171
Are we?
Wait, wait, wait.
1235
00:52:51,268 --> 00:52:52,679
Jesse's not married.
1236
00:52:52,770 --> 00:52:54,443
Oh, oh, yes, she is.
1237
00:52:54,538 --> 00:52:56,108
Yes, she is, to me.
1238
00:52:56,206 --> 00:52:57,276
To him.
1239
00:52:58,108 --> 00:52:59,712
Oh, holy hell.
1240
00:53:00,711 --> 00:53:02,952
You've got a towel-head
for a husband?
1241
00:53:03,047 --> 00:53:04,856
I thought you broke up with him.
1242
00:53:04,948 --> 00:53:08,361
Okay, FYI, towel-head,
super offensive. So...
1243
00:53:08,452 --> 00:53:09,954
It's very offensive.
1244
00:53:10,621 --> 00:53:13,295
You got married and
you didn't tell us?
1245
00:53:13,390 --> 00:53:15,802
So is Gabi and to a gay person.
1246
00:53:15,993 --> 00:53:18,496
What?
Mom, I'm a gay person.
1247
00:53:18,562 --> 00:53:19,870
She is a gay person.
1248
00:53:19,963 --> 00:53:21,840
Sweet jumpin' Jesus.
1249
00:53:22,132 --> 00:53:23,372
Let's go, Flo.
1250
00:53:23,467 --> 00:53:25,208
There's a whole lot
of life going on here
1251
00:53:25,302 --> 00:53:27,009
that has nothing to do with us.
1252
00:53:27,137 --> 00:53:29,174
This isn't the surprise
I was looking for.
1253
00:53:29,473 --> 00:53:31,009
You'll be fine and so will he.
1254
00:53:31,341 --> 00:53:32,513
Oh, thanks, Mom.
1255
00:53:32,643 --> 00:53:34,748
Just get a divorce
before he gets you pregnant.
1256
00:53:34,845 --> 00:53:35,915
Amen.
1257
00:53:36,013 --> 00:53:37,651
Tanner needs you, Uncle Russell.
1258
00:53:38,315 --> 00:53:40,488
Hey, buddy, come here.
1259
00:53:43,187 --> 00:53:44,860
Who are they?
1260
00:53:44,922 --> 00:53:47,027
Uh, this is ours. Hi.
1261
00:53:47,157 --> 00:53:48,158
Tanner.
1262
00:53:48,859 --> 00:53:49,997
Can you say hi?
1263
00:53:50,594 --> 00:53:52,073
Say hi, Grandma, hi, Grandpa.
1264
00:53:52,162 --> 00:53:53,163
Yes.
1265
00:53:53,363 --> 00:53:55,365
And, uh, Charlie is my child.
1266
00:53:55,432 --> 00:53:56,843
That I adopted.
1267
00:53:56,934 --> 00:53:58,936
I came from a sperm donor.
That's right.
1268
00:53:59,036 --> 00:54:00,845
He might have been named Steven.
Mmm-hmm.
1269
00:54:02,840 --> 00:54:04,717
Those were your grandparents.
Mmm-hmm?
1270
00:54:05,008 --> 00:54:07,284
And I put on a bra for this?
1271
00:54:12,049 --> 00:54:13,050
Oh.
1272
00:54:14,384 --> 00:54:16,364
Look, it's black.
1273
00:54:17,621 --> 00:54:19,760
Oh! Now,
that's the last straw.
1274
00:54:19,857 --> 00:54:20,892
What?
1275
00:54:20,958 --> 00:54:22,062
The tire, it's flat.
Oh.
1276
00:54:23,026 --> 00:54:24,699
Don't worry, Fluffy.
1277
00:54:24,795 --> 00:54:26,274
We'll get it fixed tomorrow.
1278
00:54:26,864 --> 00:54:28,366
The tire, maybe.
1279
00:54:29,032 --> 00:54:30,112
You don't need this.
1280
00:54:30,200 --> 00:54:34,580
Look, you told me that your parents
were mentally incapacitated.
1281
00:54:34,705 --> 00:54:36,207
Trust me, they are.
1282
00:54:36,273 --> 00:54:39,550
Oh? They are, and besides,
it was our first date.
1283
00:54:39,977 --> 00:54:42,150
Okay, who doesn't lie
on their first date?
1284
00:54:42,246 --> 00:54:45,318
Oh, really? Well, what about
our second date and 50th dale
1285
00:54:45,415 --> 00:54:47,258
and what about the, um...
1286
00:54:47,317 --> 00:54:50,127
Hey! Oh! The time that we
had a child together?
1287
00:54:50,220 --> 00:54:53,633
Do you realize that you lied
to me about your parents?
1288
00:54:53,724 --> 00:54:55,795
I lie to everybody
about my parents.
1289
00:54:55,893 --> 00:54:57,133
Oh, that's reassuring.
1290
00:54:57,227 --> 00:54:59,434
I lie about my horrible
life in that trailer park.
1291
00:54:59,563 --> 00:55:02,407
I was a freshman in high school,
saving every dime that I had
1292
00:55:02,499 --> 00:55:04,501
so that I could
just get out of there.
1293
00:55:04,601 --> 00:55:07,309
No graduation,
cap, gown, on a bus.
1294
00:55:07,404 --> 00:55:09,748
Good, I get it,
you hate your parents.
1295
00:55:09,807 --> 00:55:11,115
No, I don't hate them.
1296
00:55:11,175 --> 00:55:12,815
They're my parents,
so I love them, but...
1297
00:55:13,911 --> 00:55:15,322
Honey, it's not...
1298
00:55:15,412 --> 00:55:17,790
It's just that they're
wrong about so much
1299
00:55:17,915 --> 00:55:20,293
and they're wrong
about how they treat people,
1300
00:55:20,417 --> 00:55:22,595
they're wrong about how they
honor people's differences...
1301
00:55:22,619 --> 00:55:24,030
You know what's the worst part,
1302
00:55:24,121 --> 00:55:25,930
is that you lied
to them about me.
1303
00:55:26,089 --> 00:55:29,269
Why? Because it's so
terrible to be married to a towel-head!
1304
00:55:30,427 --> 00:55:31,997
How embarrassing for you.
1305
00:55:32,095 --> 00:55:34,097
Yeah, they should have
called me Dr. Towel-Head.
1306
00:55:34,164 --> 00:55:35,165
Where are you going?
1307
00:55:37,434 --> 00:55:38,435
Ready?
1308
00:55:40,103 --> 00:55:41,446
Good.
1309
00:55:44,608 --> 00:55:45,643
Okay.
1310
00:55:45,776 --> 00:55:46,948
Good!
1311
00:55:47,010 --> 00:55:48,045
How'd I do?
1312
00:55:48,145 --> 00:55:50,284
Amazing. You were so good.
Yeah. Yeah.
1313
00:55:50,347 --> 00:55:51,519
It was really...
Help?
1314
00:55:51,615 --> 00:55:53,151
Oh, oh, sorry, sorry.
1315
00:55:53,283 --> 00:55:55,024
Um, I think
I'm going to go to yoga.
1316
00:55:55,118 --> 00:55:56,119
Yeah, yeah, please.
1317
00:55:56,186 --> 00:55:58,223
No, yeah,
a little safer, I guess.
1318
00:55:59,122 --> 00:56:02,467
Hey, look,
I need your guys' help.
1319
00:56:02,559 --> 00:56:03,560
Oh!
1320
00:56:03,861 --> 00:56:05,636
Yeah, we've got
the perfect girl for you.
1321
00:56:05,696 --> 00:56:07,039
No, no, no, not that.
1322
00:56:07,130 --> 00:56:08,734
Look, urn,
I want to know everything
1323
00:56:08,832 --> 00:56:10,470
you guys know
about this Tommy kid.
1324
00:56:10,667 --> 00:56:12,977
I like his mother, Denise.
I know!
1325
00:56:13,036 --> 00:56:14,913
She's always
volunteering for school.
1326
00:56:15,005 --> 00:56:16,245
That's nice.
1327
00:56:16,340 --> 00:56:18,479
Her banana bread is nothing
to write home about.
1328
00:56:18,542 --> 00:56:19,714
It's dry on a good day.
1329
00:56:19,810 --> 00:56:22,381
Okay, I don't need you talking
trash about her bake sale goods.
1330
00:56:22,479 --> 00:56:25,221
Look, I want to know,
should I let her date him?
1331
00:56:25,315 --> 00:56:26,726
Do you have a choice?
1332
00:56:27,150 --> 00:56:28,328
Where's the yoga class?
1333
00:56:28,352 --> 00:56:30,192
It's right over there.
It starts at 10:00.
1334
00:56:30,487 --> 00:56:31,693
Sorry.
1335
00:56:36,660 --> 00:56:37,832
Where's he going?
1336
00:56:41,164 --> 00:56:42,837
Hey, what are you
doing back there?
1337
00:56:43,100 --> 00:56:44,943
Uh... Just checking your form.
1338
00:56:45,035 --> 00:56:46,105
It's good. Nice job.
1339
00:56:46,203 --> 00:56:47,283
Buns of steel, right?
1340
00:56:47,671 --> 00:56:50,777
No, no, no. Yeah, I have a choice, okay?
I'm her father.
1341
00:56:50,874 --> 00:56:53,252
Hmm. If you say no,
they start rebelling,
1342
00:56:53,343 --> 00:56:55,289
start telling lies
and keeping secrets.
1343
00:56:55,379 --> 00:56:57,120
Sneaking out, running away.
1344
00:56:57,214 --> 00:57:00,787
Yeah, it could lead to meth, prostitution
and possibly dating a drummer.
1345
00:57:00,918 --> 00:57:02,556
Okay, look, that's not
helpful right now.
1346
00:57:02,686 --> 00:57:05,758
I want to know one thing, is he
a nice boy or not a nice boy?
1347
00:57:05,856 --> 00:57:08,200
That's it.
All redheads are nice.
1348
00:57:08,892 --> 00:57:10,565
I think he's a nice boy.
Yeah.
1349
00:57:11,428 --> 00:57:12,771
He's all right.
1350
00:57:12,863 --> 00:57:14,365
So, what about Mother's Day?
1351
00:57:15,732 --> 00:57:17,109
Uh, I'll be back.
1352
00:57:19,036 --> 00:57:20,156
Sleep tight, Katie.
1353
00:57:20,737 --> 00:57:24,048
All right,
finally got her down to sleep
1354
00:57:24,107 --> 00:57:26,383
just in time for
you to take her home.
1355
00:57:28,111 --> 00:57:31,888
Hello, I'm sensing
some disappointment.
1356
00:57:32,649 --> 00:57:34,925
I would have heard back
from the club by now.
1357
00:57:34,985 --> 00:57:36,896
I don't get it.
I thought I killed.
1358
00:57:36,954 --> 00:57:40,299
I'm sure you murdered,
destroyed, annihilated.
1359
00:57:40,757 --> 00:57:43,465
I must have been better
than the girl with the banjo.
1360
00:57:43,560 --> 00:57:47,406
Hey, you are the most
talented comic in this town.
1361
00:57:49,566 --> 00:57:51,477
We open in 10 minutes, people.
1362
00:57:51,568 --> 00:57:53,741
Sh... What are you, Shorty?
1363
00:57:53,804 --> 00:57:56,080
No, I'm just yelling for two.
Ah.
1364
00:57:56,974 --> 00:57:58,112
Oh, oh...
1365
00:57:58,175 --> 00:58:01,452
Um, Zack, is there any way that
you can watch Katie tomorrow?
1366
00:58:01,578 --> 00:58:03,956
I told Val that I'd take her
to a doctor's appointment.
1367
00:58:04,081 --> 00:58:07,927
You're taking me to
my doctor's appointment. Yup.
1368
00:58:08,085 --> 00:58:09,860
A llama? I would love... Yes.
1369
00:58:09,953 --> 00:58:11,626
They would love that
1370
00:58:11,755 --> 00:58:13,266
Okay. Oh, sorry. You know what?
1371
00:58:13,290 --> 00:58:15,930
Can I call you right back?
I have to call you right back.
1372
00:58:15,993 --> 00:58:17,097
Thank you.
1373
00:58:17,961 --> 00:58:21,431
Hey, Jesse! Honey, I need you to come
over Saturday morning with Tanner.
1374
00:58:21,498 --> 00:58:23,500
Well, I'm having
a small party for the kids.
1375
00:58:23,600 --> 00:58:25,120
Don't you think
they would like a llama
1376
00:58:25,202 --> 00:58:26,746
way more than they'd
like the Foo Fighters?
1377
00:58:26,770 --> 00:58:27,874
I mean, come on.
1378
00:58:33,510 --> 00:58:37,287
Earl, I'm looking at the
girls when they were younger.
1379
00:58:37,447 --> 00:58:39,950
Loving can hurt
1380
00:58:41,618 --> 00:58:44,462
Loving can hurt sometimes
1381
00:58:46,156 --> 00:58:50,832
But it's the only
thing that I know
1382
00:58:56,233 --> 00:58:58,873
We keep this love
in a photograph
1383
00:59:00,637 --> 00:59:03,982
We made these memories
for ourselves
1384
00:59:04,041 --> 00:59:06,351
Where our eyes are never closing
1385
00:59:06,410 --> 00:59:08,583
Hearts are never broken
1386
00:59:08,678 --> 00:59:11,682
Time's forever frozen still
1387
00:59:19,923 --> 00:59:23,837
I will remember
how you kissed me
1388
00:59:24,161 --> 00:59:28,234
Under the lamp post
Back on 6th street
1389
00:59:28,498 --> 00:59:31,342
Hearing you whisper
through the phone
1390
00:59:32,836 --> 00:59:35,248
"Wait for me to come home”
1391
00:59:41,411 --> 00:59:44,415
Hello, everybody!
Welcome to Sandy's party!
1392
00:59:44,514 --> 00:59:45,925
All right!
1393
00:59:46,016 --> 00:59:48,223
We've got Bella
the Balloon Lady,
1394
00:59:48,285 --> 00:59:50,424
we've got Marty,
the animal wrangler!
1395
00:59:50,520 --> 00:59:53,763
Hi! We've got
Pinwheel painting faces,
1396
00:59:53,857 --> 00:59:55,928
and a big slide!
1397
00:59:57,194 --> 00:59:58,571
Wow.
Hi.
1398
01:00:00,397 --> 01:00:01,774
This is something.
1399
01:00:01,865 --> 01:00:03,867
Yeah, I don't know
what happened.
1400
01:00:03,934 --> 01:00:06,210
I just called to rent
Bella the Balloon Lady,
1401
01:00:06,269 --> 01:00:07,547
and I just couldn't
stop saying yes.
1402
01:00:07,571 --> 01:00:08,811
No, no, I like it.
1403
01:00:08,939 --> 01:00:10,416
Can we go see the llama?
1404
01:00:10,440 --> 01:00:12,386
Yeah, why don't you go.
1405
01:00:12,442 --> 01:00:13,785
Let me talk to Sandy.
1406
01:00:13,877 --> 01:00:15,220
Go to the petting zoo, honey.
1407
01:00:15,278 --> 01:00:16,484
Tortoises, bunnies...
1408
01:00:16,580 --> 01:00:17,991
Come on, Tanner.
1409
01:00:18,081 --> 01:00:19,801
So, you have not heard from Russell?
1410
01:00:19,883 --> 01:00:23,456
Not a peep, radio silence.
1411
01:00:23,887 --> 01:00:26,060
Oh, God. I'm so sorry.
1412
01:00:26,723 --> 01:00:28,669
Well, at least you
have Tanner, you know?
1413
01:00:29,059 --> 01:00:30,060
He won't bite.
1414
01:00:30,293 --> 01:00:32,170
Of course, until the day
that you get a divorce
1415
01:00:32,262 --> 01:00:34,799
and then you have to have
that 50/50 shared custody
1416
01:00:34,898 --> 01:00:36,639
and then it's just, like, hell.
1417
01:00:37,801 --> 01:00:39,747
That's my life.
Wait a second.
1418
01:00:39,803 --> 01:00:41,243
That's not your life,
that's my life.
1419
01:00:42,272 --> 01:00:43,910
Indians don't
really get divorced.
1420
01:00:46,109 --> 01:00:47,611
Tire's good.
1421
01:00:47,744 --> 01:00:49,087
I'm all packed.
1422
01:00:49,646 --> 01:00:54,493
Now, we can put a whole lot of
gone between us and these, uh.-.
1423
01:00:55,585 --> 01:00:56,928
These, uh...
1424
01:00:58,455 --> 01:00:59,490
Oh!
1425
01:00:59,589 --> 01:01:01,034
Hot damn!
1426
01:01:01,124 --> 01:01:02,797
What is it, Earl?
1427
01:01:02,926 --> 01:01:06,100
Someone stole my ignition fuse!
1428
01:01:06,329 --> 01:01:08,434
What are we going to do now?
1429
01:01:10,700 --> 01:01:13,977
There's a Pep Boys
about a mile back.
1430
01:01:15,172 --> 01:01:17,209
I'm going to start walking.
1431
01:01:23,847 --> 01:01:25,986
Yeah!
1432
01:01:26,149 --> 01:01:27,492
Can I ride the llama?
1433
01:01:27,617 --> 01:01:29,494
No.
How about the alpaca?
1434
01:01:29,619 --> 01:01:30,654
It's a fun party.
1435
01:01:30,787 --> 01:01:32,331
Can you open this, Sam?
Yeah, we can't open...
1436
01:01:32,355 --> 01:01:34,232
Sure.
1437
01:01:53,243 --> 01:01:54,415
Yeah, hey, how are you doing?
1438
01:01:54,644 --> 01:01:56,989
Hey, I'm doing good.
You like some spaghetti?
1439
01:01:57,013 --> 01:01:58,048
I'm good, thanks.
1440
01:02:01,351 --> 01:02:03,228
You don't like any spaghetti.
1441
01:02:03,353 --> 01:02:04,696
Back up, Bozo.
1442
01:02:04,754 --> 01:02:06,665
Oh.
The fireworks arrived.
1443
01:02:06,723 --> 01:02:08,999
So, I'm going to
go check on Tanner.
1444
01:02:11,328 --> 01:02:13,672
Sandy, what's going on?
Yeah. Hey.
1445
01:02:14,698 --> 01:02:16,177
Oh, I so...
1446
01:02:16,233 --> 01:02:18,736
I'm so sorry. I completely
lost track of time.
1447
01:02:18,835 --> 01:02:20,337
I'm supposed to
drop the boys off.
1448
01:02:20,503 --> 01:02:22,244
I'm so sorry.
What is all this?
1449
01:02:23,006 --> 01:02:24,952
It's a party.
For what?
1450
01:02:25,508 --> 01:02:28,785
For fun, on a Saturday...
For fun on a Saturday,
1451
01:02:28,878 --> 01:02:29,989
a party for fun on a Saturday.
1452
01:02:30,013 --> 01:02:31,720
This is completely unlike you.
1453
01:02:31,848 --> 01:02:33,359
What do you mean?
It feels totally like me.
1454
01:02:33,383 --> 01:02:34,919
This is completely
irresponsible.
1455
01:02:35,018 --> 01:02:37,521
Irresponsible?
I'm irresponsible?
1456
01:02:39,022 --> 01:02:40,302
You can call me a lot of things,
1457
01:02:40,357 --> 01:02:41,797
but irresponsible
is not one of them.
1458
01:02:41,858 --> 01:02:43,202
Listen to me,
when was the last time
1459
01:02:43,226 --> 01:02:44,569
you took the kids to a dentist?
1460
01:02:46,062 --> 01:02:47,097
Huh?
1461
01:02:47,197 --> 01:02:49,074
Or to go buy them,
you know, school supplies
1462
01:02:49,199 --> 01:02:52,203
or one of the gazillion
things that I do?
1463
01:02:52,269 --> 01:02:54,271
Oh, that's right.
Never.
1464
01:02:56,439 --> 01:02:59,386
You have a parental
and legal responsibility
1465
01:02:59,442 --> 01:03:02,286
to drop the kids off
at the designated time.
1466
01:03:02,379 --> 01:03:03,653
Today is Saturday.
1467
01:03:03,747 --> 01:03:05,556
We have them at noon.
1468
01:03:06,716 --> 01:03:09,720
You have them tomorrow
on Mother's Day.
1469
01:03:10,253 --> 01:03:11,931
Let's go, Mikey, time to go.
Do we have to?
1470
01:03:11,955 --> 01:03:14,060
Yes, now, we do. Where's your brother?
1471
01:03:14,124 --> 01:03:16,104
He's on the slide.
Go get your stuff.
1472
01:03:17,460 --> 01:03:19,565
Peter. Let's go.
1473
01:03:19,629 --> 01:03:20,801
Get down here right now.
1474
01:03:20,897 --> 01:03:23,138
No way, I'm not leaving.
Mom said we can have fun.
1475
01:03:23,233 --> 01:03:25,211
I don't care what your mom said.
I'm in charge now.
1476
01:03:25,235 --> 01:03:26,946
I'm going to count to three
and then I'm coming up there,
1477
01:03:26,970 --> 01:03:28,574
one, two, three.
Here I come.
1478
01:03:28,638 --> 01:03:29,742
I'm coming up.
1479
01:03:30,106 --> 01:03:32,143
Hey. Come on,
Peter. Peter!
1480
01:03:35,245 --> 01:03:36,485
Got to catch me first.
1481
01:03:41,351 --> 01:03:42,421
Go get your stuff!
1482
01:03:44,254 --> 01:03:45,358
Hey, get your stuff.
1483
01:03:45,455 --> 01:03:47,066
Oh, sweetie, I wouldn't touch
that if I were... That...
1484
01:03:47,090 --> 01:03:48,501
But I like orange.
1485
01:03:48,658 --> 01:03:49,762
Damn it, Peter.
1486
01:03:49,826 --> 01:03:50,930
Hey, we've got to go.
1487
01:03:50,994 --> 01:03:53,873
Oh, well, in that case,
sure, you know, go ahead.
1488
01:03:55,765 --> 01:03:57,108
What the...
1489
01:03:57,267 --> 01:03:58,268
Yo!
1490
01:04:01,304 --> 01:04:02,374
Hello!
1491
01:04:02,472 --> 01:04:04,645
Hey! This thing is... God.
1492
01:04:15,518 --> 01:04:16,962
Welcome to the book
signing, everyone.
1493
01:04:16,986 --> 01:04:18,988
We're here because there's
so few book stores left,
1494
01:04:19,055 --> 01:04:20,295
but there will always be books.
1495
01:04:22,792 --> 01:04:24,294
Thank you very much.
1496
01:04:24,694 --> 01:04:25,838
Who shall I make it out to?
1497
01:04:25,862 --> 01:04:27,364
Rory Schroeder.
1498
01:04:27,630 --> 01:04:28,631
Rory.
1499
01:04:28,698 --> 01:04:31,042
Every piece of jewelry I own
is from your collection.
1500
01:04:31,134 --> 01:04:33,045
I love them, and so does Jerald.
1501
01:04:33,136 --> 01:04:34,740
But they look better on me.
1502
01:04:35,638 --> 01:04:36,981
Who shall I make it out to?
1503
01:04:39,042 --> 01:04:40,146
Your daughter.
1504
01:04:48,184 --> 01:04:50,323
So, tell me, why now?
1505
01:04:52,222 --> 01:04:54,224
Well, I just thought
because she was in Atlanta,
1506
01:04:54,324 --> 01:04:56,531
it would be a good time.
1507
01:04:56,659 --> 01:04:57,660
I see.
1508
01:04:57,727 --> 01:05:00,172
You know, you're the fourth person
to say they're her daughter.
1509
01:05:00,196 --> 01:05:03,507
Of course, after Forbes
listed Miranda as the top 50
1510
01:05:03,566 --> 01:05:06,604
female entrepreneurs in this
country, how convenient.
1511
01:05:07,837 --> 01:05:09,009
I have this.
1512
01:05:13,510 --> 01:05:16,616
Anybody could have forged
this and even if it's real,
1513
01:05:16,713 --> 01:05:18,386
you're not going to get
a dime out of her.
1514
01:05:20,884 --> 01:05:23,262
Okay, this was
a mistake. I...
1515
01:05:24,854 --> 01:05:26,098
Could you please
just let her know
1516
01:05:26,122 --> 01:05:28,966
that I never wanted
anything from her?
1517
01:05:37,767 --> 01:05:39,474
Well, that was historic.
1518
01:05:39,569 --> 01:05:42,379
Thai was a historic disaster.
1519
01:05:44,407 --> 01:05:45,408
Oh...
1520
01:05:47,277 --> 01:05:49,780
I mean, this is all so stupid.
1521
01:05:49,879 --> 01:05:51,483
This is so stupid.
1522
01:05:51,581 --> 01:05:53,561
Look at all this.
What am I doing?
1523
01:05:53,616 --> 01:05:55,220
I mean' you know...
1524
01:05:56,419 --> 01:05:58,330
Ugh, I feel like such an idiot.
1525
01:05:58,421 --> 01:06:01,425
So, what I'm basically doing
is I'm trying to compete
1526
01:06:01,558 --> 01:06:04,562
with my ex-husband
and a 20-year-old.
1527
01:06:04,627 --> 01:06:07,574
That just makes a lot
of sense, right, Jess?
1528
01:06:08,398 --> 01:06:09,843
It's stupid.
1529
01:06:09,933 --> 01:06:11,412
You know what it is?
1530
01:06:12,902 --> 01:06:15,906
I just... I just hate
feeling so replaceable.
1531
01:06:17,740 --> 01:06:19,014
Well, sadly we all are.
1532
01:06:19,108 --> 01:06:21,611
Oh, geez, you scared
the crap out of me.
1533
01:06:22,145 --> 01:06:23,351
I mean' we're all replaceable.
1534
01:06:23,446 --> 01:06:26,427
For every professional clown, there's
100 hacks with a red nose and a wig
1535
01:06:26,483 --> 01:06:27,484
waiting to do the job.
1536
01:06:28,151 --> 01:06:30,324
Yeah, I understand.
Thanks, clown.
1537
01:06:30,653 --> 01:06:31,757
Jesse?
1538
01:06:31,921 --> 01:06:34,367
There's no way that the bond
you have with your kids
1539
01:06:34,457 --> 01:06:35,936
can ever be broken.
1540
01:06:35,992 --> 01:06:37,303
I mean, there's
no contest, right?
1541
01:06:37,327 --> 01:06:39,364
You're their mom.
Mmm-hmm.
1542
01:06:39,596 --> 01:06:40,597
Oh, let me help.
1543
01:06:41,664 --> 01:06:42,665
Oh...
1544
01:06:43,867 --> 01:06:46,108
Thank... Okay.
1545
01:06:48,771 --> 01:06:50,011
Yeah? See?
1546
01:06:50,106 --> 01:06:53,110
It's this, I get it,
never-ending scarf bit.
1547
01:06:54,944 --> 01:06:57,122
Yeah, it's the first time you
got to use this one today, huh?
1548
01:06:57,146 --> 01:06:58,523
Ah...
1549
01:06:58,615 --> 01:07:00,526
Got a smile from you.
That's great.
1550
01:07:00,617 --> 01:07:02,187
Do you mind if I rub...
1551
01:07:02,285 --> 01:07:03,696
Please.
Thank you very much.
1552
01:07:03,786 --> 01:07:05,431
It's always the traditional
things that work,
1553
01:07:05,455 --> 01:07:07,162
the bottomless sleeve hanky,
1554
01:07:07,223 --> 01:07:09,203
the bottomless cup of coffee,
1555
01:07:09,292 --> 01:07:11,636
the bottomless love
from a mother to her kids.
1556
01:07:12,529 --> 01:07:16,033
They know it's there. Sometimes
they just take it for granted.
1557
01:07:16,533 --> 01:07:17,534
Yeah.
1558
01:07:17,634 --> 01:07:18,914
So what if the other girl is 20,
1559
01:07:19,002 --> 01:07:21,312
has great skin and probably
looks insane in a bikini?
1560
01:07:21,704 --> 01:07:23,911
Okay, that's good, I get it.
1561
01:07:24,007 --> 01:07:25,087
Nice pep talk there, clown.
1562
01:07:26,476 --> 01:07:27,716
Thank you, clown.
1563
01:07:27,810 --> 01:07:31,257
Never thought I'd ever hear myself
say that, but thank you, clown.
1564
01:07:31,347 --> 01:07:32,587
My pleasure.
1565
01:07:37,153 --> 01:07:38,154
Mmm.
1566
01:07:38,221 --> 01:07:40,667
A heart-to-heart with a clown.
1567
01:07:41,658 --> 01:07:43,660
There was not
a soul to see that.
1568
01:07:43,726 --> 01:07:46,332
He could have murdered me.
Okay.
1569
01:07:46,496 --> 01:07:49,067
Jesse, you home?
1570
01:07:50,333 --> 01:07:52,176
Hey, I'm getting a beer!
1571
01:07:59,342 --> 01:08:01,344
Hello. Who are you?
1572
01:08:01,911 --> 01:08:03,390
Well, who are you?
1573
01:08:03,513 --> 01:08:05,550
Sonia, mother of Russell.
1574
01:08:06,416 --> 01:08:09,863
Yeah, well, I'm Florence,
mother of Jesse.
1575
01:08:11,387 --> 01:08:14,368
Florence, nice to meet you!
1576
01:08:16,859 --> 01:08:19,635
Ugh, I heard about your
surprise drop-m.
1577
01:08:19,729 --> 01:08:21,231
Are you okay?
1578
01:08:21,297 --> 01:08:22,708
I think so.
1579
01:08:24,434 --> 01:08:25,708
I'm not real sure.
1580
01:08:25,768 --> 01:08:26,769
Are you having a beer?
1581
01:08:27,270 --> 01:08:28,374
Yeah.
1582
01:08:28,805 --> 01:08:29,909
I think I'll join you.
1583
01:08:33,910 --> 01:08:35,116
To say the truth,
1584
01:08:35,244 --> 01:08:37,747
when Russel! told me he was
m Jove with a white girl,
1585
01:08:37,880 --> 01:08:39,291
I wanted to punch a wall.
1586
01:08:39,382 --> 01:08:41,055
Well, at least
you knew about it.
1587
01:08:41,150 --> 01:08:42,288
And men may sloped
1588
01:08:42,385 --> 01:08:44,096
and they didn't even
invite me to the wedding.
1589
01:08:44,120 --> 01:08:45,428
They didn't even tell me.
1590
01:08:45,555 --> 01:08:48,434
Yeah, well, I'm double spitting
just thinking about it.
1591
01:08:50,393 --> 01:08:53,101
Thought I was finished
with them,
1592
01:08:53,162 --> 01:08:54,402
but they're my baby girls.
1593
01:08:55,798 --> 01:09:00,508
But, Florence, have you
seen our grandchild? Oh...
1594
01:09:00,803 --> 01:09:03,147
I get why they call him Tanner.
1595
01:09:03,239 --> 01:09:04,843
He's a little dark.
1596
01:09:05,575 --> 01:09:07,486
I think he's a little light.
1597
01:09:07,910 --> 01:09:09,480
Hey, what time is it in India?
1598
01:09:09,579 --> 01:09:11,320
India? Who knows.
1599
01:09:11,414 --> 01:09:13,257
I live here in Las Vegas.
1600
01:09:13,316 --> 01:09:17,526
No taxes, and I play
the slots anytime I want.
1601
01:09:17,754 --> 01:09:19,495
Hey, smart move.
1602
01:09:19,589 --> 01:09:21,660
Plus, you can drive 20
miles in any direction
1603
01:09:21,758 --> 01:09:24,102
and find some sand
when you get homesick, right?
1604
01:09:24,260 --> 01:09:27,707
I don't get that joke, but it
sounds racist, and funny.
1605
01:09:36,939 --> 01:09:38,043
Hi, Grandma!
1606
01:09:38,508 --> 01:09:39,714
Hey.
1607
01:09:39,809 --> 01:09:41,769
Could you watch Tanner a minute?
I have to go pee.
1608
01:09:42,211 --> 01:09:44,020
Thank you.
1609
01:10:01,831 --> 01:10:03,310
Here we go!
1610
01:10:10,039 --> 01:10:12,349
I think you look
a little like me.
1611
01:10:13,676 --> 01:10:14,677
Uh-huh.
1612
01:10:14,877 --> 01:10:16,379
Yes, you do.
1613
01:10:16,479 --> 01:10:18,220
I think you do.
1614
01:10:18,314 --> 01:10:21,261
You look just like
me in the summertime.
1615
01:10:36,933 --> 01:10:38,310
Lakens, thank you
so much for coming.
1616
01:10:38,334 --> 01:10:39,677
We'll see you next time.
1617
01:10:40,336 --> 01:10:42,179
Well, everything
looks good here.
1618
01:10:42,238 --> 01:10:44,741
Will you be joining us for
tomorrow's Mother's Day brunch?
1619
01:10:44,841 --> 01:10:46,377
No, I'm working.
Oh...
1620
01:10:46,576 --> 01:10:47,748
Are you a mom?
1621
01:10:48,411 --> 01:10:49,446
No.
1622
01:10:50,346 --> 01:10:53,623
I don't suppose you'd like
a complimentary mum for Mum's Day?
1623
01:10:54,350 --> 01:10:55,420
No.
1624
01:10:56,786 --> 01:10:58,766
If you need anything, just ask.
1625
01:11:01,924 --> 01:11:04,700
I'm sorry to interrupt
your dinner, my dear.
1626
01:11:08,598 --> 01:11:10,441
Fried green tomatoes.
1627
01:11:10,867 --> 01:11:14,314
Lance, you're my agent and I
love you, which is an oxymoron,
1628
01:11:14,403 --> 01:11:17,646
but if you are here for
some philosophical chat,
1629
01:11:17,740 --> 01:11:20,152
short, short would be good here.
1630
01:11:20,710 --> 01:11:24,715
Yes, you know me as Lance
Wallace, agent to the stars.
1631
01:11:24,881 --> 01:11:26,383
You used to have big stars.
1632
01:11:26,449 --> 01:11:27,609
Now you just have me.
1633
01:11:28,284 --> 01:11:29,285
Mmm.
1634
01:11:29,452 --> 01:11:32,228
But you really know
I was born in the Bronx
1635
01:11:32,288 --> 01:11:34,666
and my name was Ramone Navarro,
1636
01:11:35,391 --> 01:11:38,736
who collected empty soda
bottles to get money to eat.
1637
01:11:40,163 --> 01:11:43,736
We are who the world thinks we
are and sometimes, we're not.
1638
01:11:44,267 --> 01:11:46,440
We decide who we are,
1639
01:11:46,502 --> 01:11:49,506
when we want and
who we want to know.
1640
01:11:51,607 --> 01:11:53,109
Or is it whom?
1641
01:11:54,410 --> 01:11:55,753
Are you done, Ramone?
1642
01:11:57,079 --> 01:11:58,490
Just doing my job, to make sure
1643
01:11:58,581 --> 01:12:01,653
that nothing lowers
the kilowatts on that smile.
1644
01:12:02,618 --> 01:12:03,619
Hmm.
1645
01:12:05,621 --> 01:12:08,693
Oh, you're right, you're
right, that is the salad fork.
1646
01:12:18,501 --> 01:12:20,310
Hey, change of plan.
1647
01:12:20,369 --> 01:12:21,507
I got the call.
1648
01:12:21,604 --> 01:12:22,748
One of the girls had to pullout.
1649
01:12:22,772 --> 01:12:25,275
She got a comedy series for NBC.
1650
01:12:25,341 --> 01:12:26,945
It'll probably be
canceled, but anyway,
1651
01:12:27,009 --> 01:12:28,488
I'm in the final tonight.
1652
01:12:28,544 --> 01:12:29,648
Where are you?
1653
01:12:29,712 --> 01:12:31,123
I've got Katie.
1654
01:12:31,180 --> 01:12:32,284
She's fine.
1655
01:12:33,015 --> 01:12:34,016
Bye.
1656
01:12:34,116 --> 01:12:35,556
Good stuff.
Okay, next up.
1657
01:12:39,956 --> 01:12:42,129
Good night.
1658
01:12:44,794 --> 01:12:45,795
Oh...
1659
01:12:46,963 --> 01:12:48,874
I shouldn't be watching this.
1660
01:12:52,001 --> 01:12:53,173
Good night.
1661
01:12:55,471 --> 01:12:58,145
Good night.
Yeah, yeah, good night.
1662
01:13:08,985 --> 01:13:10,259
Good night.
1663
01:13:19,762 --> 01:13:20,763
I'm home.
1664
01:13:20,863 --> 01:13:22,206
Well, how...
1665
01:13:23,833 --> 01:13:25,073
Good night.
1666
01:13:30,740 --> 01:13:32,617
You used to say good night.
1667
01:13:33,676 --> 01:13:36,520
It'd take you hours
to say good night, actually.
1668
01:13:41,350 --> 01:13:43,523
Hey, honey, where are you?
1669
01:13:43,586 --> 01:13:45,088
I'm getting worried.
1670
01:13:45,521 --> 01:13:48,434
If you're thinking
of splitting, please don't.
1671
01:13:49,225 --> 01:13:52,536
Let's just keep loving
each other and Katie.
1672
01:13:55,298 --> 01:13:56,868
I don't want to marry you.
1673
01:13:57,233 --> 01:13:59,440
I mean, I do want to marry you,
1674
01:13:59,535 --> 01:14:01,708
but we don't
have to get married.
1675
01:14:01,771 --> 01:14:03,944
If you get this,
please come to the club.
1676
01:14:04,040 --> 01:14:05,383
I love you.
1677
01:14:08,210 --> 01:14:10,622
This competition
is worth $5,000.
1678
01:14:10,713 --> 01:14:13,785
Zack Zim, you're in
the finals, by default.
1679
01:14:13,883 --> 01:14:15,829
Good for you.
Aw...
1680
01:14:17,219 --> 01:14:20,257
That is the most adorable
baby I've ever seen.
1681
01:14:20,323 --> 01:14:22,243
Would you be able to watch
her while I do my set?
1682
01:14:22,291 --> 01:14:23,497
No.
1683
01:14:23,926 --> 01:14:26,406
Welcome to the stage, Zack Zim.
1684
01:14:26,896 --> 01:14:29,041
Zack Zim, he's very... Oh, that's you.
1685
01:14:29,065 --> 01:14:30,635
All right, go on out there, kid.
1686
01:14:30,733 --> 01:14:32,733
Come on, I'm rooting for you.
I'll be out in front.
1687
01:14:39,642 --> 01:14:40,814
Hello.
1688
01:14:41,677 --> 01:14:42,678
Um...
1689
01:14:42,845 --> 01:14:44,324
So, I'm Zack.
1690
01:14:44,513 --> 01:14:46,584
Uh, this is Katie.
1691
01:14:47,416 --> 01:14:49,020
Say hi.
1692
01:14:49,752 --> 01:14:51,322
She's a bit shy.
1693
01:14:52,188 --> 01:14:55,692
I'll just say this from the
get-go, this wasn't planned.
1694
01:14:56,759 --> 01:14:58,329
Coming out here with
her wasn't planned,
1695
01:14:58,427 --> 01:15:00,429
not she wasn't planned,
1696
01:15:00,529 --> 01:15:03,271
although to be fair, you were
a little bit of a surprise.
1697
01:15:03,366 --> 01:15:04,436
Didn't like mat joke.
1698
01:15:06,936 --> 01:15:07,937
Uh...
1699
01:15:09,271 --> 01:15:12,013
So, does anyone in
here have a baby?
1700
01:15:13,609 --> 01:15:15,520
No, obviously you dam.
1701
01:15:15,611 --> 01:15:17,454
You're here having a life.
1702
01:15:19,015 --> 01:15:21,291
No, don't cry, stop crying;.
1703
01:15:22,685 --> 01:15:24,130
Five grand at stake.
1704
01:15:25,388 --> 01:15:27,299
Mate, would you mind
holding her for a sec?
1705
01:15:28,524 --> 01:15:29,628
What's your name, pal?
1706
01:15:29,692 --> 01:15:30,693
Tiny.
1707
01:15:30,793 --> 01:15:32,004
Tiny, if you don'!
Mind me saying,
1708
01:15:32,028 --> 01:15:34,304
you look like you have
a very welcoming bosom.
1709
01:15:35,231 --> 01:15:36,869
May I rest my child on it?
1710
01:15:36,966 --> 01:15:38,001
Sure.
1711
01:15:38,067 --> 01:15:39,107
Just for a sec, thank you.
1712
01:15:56,252 --> 01:16:00,064
I mean, I don't know whether to be
pleased or just deeply offended.
1713
01:16:00,823 --> 01:16:02,666
How did you do that?
1714
01:16:03,826 --> 01:16:05,897
I'm soft, like a couch.
1715
01:16:05,995 --> 01:16:08,168
Please, will you
come and live with us?
1716
01:16:08,230 --> 01:16:09,334
I'm deadly serious.
1717
01:16:09,432 --> 01:16:11,673
I haven't slept in a year.
1718
01:16:11,734 --> 01:16:12,838
Hi take the couch.
1719
01:16:12,902 --> 01:16:14,506
My girlfriend's very attractive.
1720
01:16:14,670 --> 01:16:16,513
Can your girlfriend
take the couch?
1721
01:16:17,006 --> 01:16:18,576
Oh, my girlfriend, yes.
1722
01:16:18,674 --> 01:16:19,948
That's my sister.
1723
01:16:21,744 --> 01:16:25,248
Hey, can everyone please give it
up for the world's biggest nanny?
1724
01:16:25,381 --> 01:16:27,258
Well done.
1725
01:16:27,349 --> 01:16:29,090
Thank you.
I'll take her back.
1726
01:16:31,854 --> 01:16:32,855
Bye.
1727
01:16:34,190 --> 01:16:35,191
Thank you.
Call me.
1728
01:16:36,959 --> 01:16:38,267
Whoa.
1729
01:16:43,866 --> 01:16:46,745
You know, being a dad
does change you.
1730
01:16:46,802 --> 01:16:48,748
I worry all the time.
1731
01:16:48,804 --> 01:16:50,579
Do I know when she's tired?
1732
01:16:50,639 --> 01:16:52,209
Not really.
1733
01:16:52,274 --> 01:16:53,480
When she's about to be sick?
1734
01:16:54,110 --> 01:16:55,384
Definitely not.
1735
01:16:55,878 --> 01:16:58,381
This is the last
good shirt that I own.
1736
01:17:00,883 --> 01:17:02,487
But her mother knows,
1737
01:17:02,585 --> 01:17:05,225
because in every
atom of their body,
1738
01:17:05,621 --> 01:17:09,797
they know what's right for their
children and for their families.
1739
01:17:11,560 --> 01:17:14,234
Anyway, speaking of parents, I
better get this one back to hers.
1740
01:17:15,998 --> 01:17:17,238
Hey. guys,
thank you very mum.
1741
01:17:17,299 --> 01:17:19,404
I've been Zack Zim,
and this has been Katie.
1742
01:17:23,772 --> 01:17:25,410
Aw, what a cute baby.
1743
01:17:25,474 --> 01:17:26,851
I love babies.
1744
01:17:26,942 --> 01:17:28,751
We can have one if you want.
1745
01:17:29,078 --> 01:17:30,785
It's our first date.
1746
01:17:30,846 --> 01:17:32,951
So, what are you doing tomorrow?
1747
01:17:33,115 --> 01:17:34,321
Shut up.
1748
01:17:34,617 --> 01:17:35,687
I was freaking out.
1749
01:17:35,784 --> 01:17:37,457
I thought you bailed.
Where were you?
1750
01:17:37,520 --> 01:17:41,263
I'm sorry, you know, usual
stuff, meeting my real morn.
1751
01:17:41,323 --> 01:17:42,597
Your mom, what?
1752
01:17:42,658 --> 01:17:43,659
Yeah, it was awful.
1753
01:17:43,759 --> 01:17:44,759
Awful?
1754
01:17:44,827 --> 01:17:47,637
Just really made me appreciate
what I have. Totally.
1755
01:17:48,430 --> 01:17:50,103
You're the best.
1756
01:17:50,833 --> 01:17:53,177
We have a unanimous winner.
1757
01:17:53,702 --> 01:17:55,443
Katie Zim.
1758
01:17:57,540 --> 01:17:59,349
Oh, and that guy
with her. Come on up.
1759
01:17:59,441 --> 01:18:00,952
Oh, my God. Wait,
wait, wait, take her.
1760
01:18:00,976 --> 01:18:03,456
She won, you just
held her props, really.
1761
01:18:04,780 --> 01:18:05,924
So, wait, your actual mother?
1762
01:18:05,948 --> 01:18:08,121
Just go get it.
Go, go, go, go, go.
1763
01:18:11,487 --> 01:18:12,727
Congratulations!
1764
01:18:14,023 --> 01:18:15,297
Zack Zim!
1765
01:18:16,158 --> 01:18:18,138
Yeah, we each got our babies.
1766
01:18:28,137 --> 01:18:31,141
Happy Mother's Day!
Happy Mathews Day!
1767
01:18:31,574 --> 01:18:33,918
What'? Oh, my God.
1768
01:18:34,009 --> 01:18:37,980
You guys... You guys
are the cutest.
1769
01:18:38,047 --> 01:18:40,584
The banana was my idea,
you know, to stay healthy.
1770
01:18:41,650 --> 01:18:43,061
It's perfect.
I love it.
1771
01:18:43,152 --> 01:18:44,688
Are those M&M pancakes?
1772
01:18:44,753 --> 01:18:46,664
Yeah.
Oh, boy.
1773
01:18:46,722 --> 01:18:47,757
Open my gift.
1774
01:18:47,856 --> 01:18:49,233
Okay, okay, Okay.-
1775
01:18:50,259 --> 01:18:51,329
Why?
1776
01:18:54,597 --> 01:18:59,774
That's the coolest potato man
ever, period, end of story.
1777
01:19:01,670 --> 01:19:03,047
That's awesome.
1778
01:19:05,574 --> 01:19:07,713
"Thanks for all that you do.
1779
01:19:07,776 --> 01:19:09,255
"We appreciate you.
1780
01:19:09,345 --> 01:19:11,347
"Happy Mother's Day, Tina."
1781
01:19:12,181 --> 01:19:14,183
You gave her the
wrong gift, you dork.
1782
01:19:14,250 --> 01:19:15,627
Oops, sorry, Mom.
1783
01:19:15,718 --> 01:19:17,698
Oh, that's okay.
That's okay.
1784
01:19:18,220 --> 01:19:19,699
I love you, Mom.
1785
01:19:20,356 --> 01:19:22,302
Thank you. I love you.
This one's for you.
1786
01:19:22,391 --> 01:19:24,701
Okay, okay.
1787
01:19:26,528 --> 01:19:28,735
This is better
than the first one.
1788
01:19:28,797 --> 01:19:29,935
It's even better.
1789
01:19:30,566 --> 01:19:31,567
That's sweet.
1790
01:19:31,934 --> 01:19:34,471
I love him.
Thank you so much.
1791
01:19:35,237 --> 01:19:36,409
This is for you.
1792
01:19:36,472 --> 01:19:37,712
Thanks, babe.
1793
01:19:37,773 --> 01:19:40,049
Did you get
a card for Tina, too'?
1794
01:19:40,109 --> 01:19:42,385
Yeah, but a totally
different one.
1795
01:19:43,779 --> 01:19:45,781
I can throw Tina's
away if you want.
1796
01:19:48,284 --> 01:19:49,422
No.
1797
01:19:50,252 --> 01:19:52,129
No, no, no, no,
I don't want you to do that.
1798
01:19:52,488 --> 01:19:53,933
But you're so sad.
1799
01:19:58,661 --> 01:20:01,141
Oh, okay, listen, here, take
this over there for a second.
1800
01:20:01,230 --> 01:20:02,231
Get in here.
1801
01:20:02,564 --> 01:20:03,736
Get in here.
1802
01:20:04,767 --> 01:20:08,943
Vicky, Rachel,
where are you guys?
1803
01:20:10,339 --> 01:20:13,513
Come on, let's wake up,
have a little breakfast, huh?
1804
01:20:15,577 --> 01:20:19,150
Guys, don't make me
come up there.
1805
01:20:19,982 --> 01:20:21,484
It's too late.
1806
01:20:21,583 --> 01:20:23,927
Come on,
let's go, up and at 'em.
1807
01:20:25,321 --> 01:20:26,459
Hey.
1808
01:20:27,323 --> 01:20:29,303
Hey, Vicky!
1809
01:20:29,692 --> 01:20:32,502
Rachel, where are you?
1810
01:20:33,996 --> 01:20:35,473
Hey, Kimberly,
I can't talk right now.
1811
01:20:35,497 --> 01:20:36,675
I don't know where my girls are.
1812
01:20:36,699 --> 01:20:38,303
The girls are with me.
1813
01:20:38,367 --> 01:20:39,687
What are you
talking about, where?
1814
01:20:42,938 --> 01:20:46,613
I love you so much,
1815
01:20:46,842 --> 01:20:51,382
and, you know, it's just...
It's hard to share, you know?
1816
01:20:51,880 --> 01:20:54,827
Sort of like how you feel
about your LEGO pirate ship.
1817
01:20:54,883 --> 01:20:57,193
You know how you didn't
want anyone to touch it?
1818
01:20:57,720 --> 01:21:00,030
Yeah, well, that's
kind of how I feel.
1819
01:21:00,956 --> 01:21:02,697
But you remember
how good you felt
1820
01:21:02,791 --> 01:21:04,532
when you saw how happy Nick was
1821
01:21:04,626 --> 01:21:08,130
when he was able to walk
Peg Leg down the plank?
1822
01:21:08,630 --> 01:21:09,700
Right?
1823
01:21:10,399 --> 01:21:13,869
Yeah, that's because it's
really, really good to share.
1824
01:21:13,969 --> 01:21:15,004
It's really good.
1825
01:21:17,172 --> 01:21:18,708
In fact, as I say
this, you know what,
1826
01:21:18,807 --> 01:21:23,347
I think I'm going to take you over to
Daddy's a little later on today, okay?
1827
01:21:24,246 --> 01:21:28,752
So you can give Tina
her awesome potato man.
1828
01:21:29,351 --> 01:21:31,160
You're really going to share?
1829
01:21:31,220 --> 01:21:32,665
Yeah.
1830
01:21:32,888 --> 01:21:36,859
Yep, I'm going to
share, for an hour.
1831
01:21:38,026 --> 01:21:39,596
An hour, maybe two.
I'll see how I feel.
1832
01:21:39,695 --> 01:21:40,739
How do you feel about that?
1833
01:21:40,763 --> 01:21:42,174
Yeah.
Yeah?
1834
01:21:48,237 --> 01:21:50,315
We're gonna grab some lunch
and we'll see you at the parade.
1835
01:21:50,339 --> 01:21:51,750
Have fun.
1836
01:21:51,840 --> 01:21:53,012
Bye, Max.
1837
01:21:55,577 --> 01:21:57,284
Were you summoned, too?
1838
01:21:57,379 --> 01:21:59,859
Yep, just wondering if I'm
going to get an opportunity
1839
01:21:59,915 --> 01:22:01,519
to have a last meal.
1840
01:22:01,583 --> 01:22:03,119
Doubtful.
1841
01:22:03,218 --> 01:22:06,222
I mean, they can't ground
us anymore, can they?
1842
01:22:09,024 --> 01:22:11,026
You lied to your mother.
1843
01:22:11,093 --> 01:22:13,937
Mom made me live
alone in college
1844
01:22:14,029 --> 01:22:16,149
'cause she didn't want me to
have a minority roommate.
1845
01:22:16,198 --> 01:22:17,842
Yeah, and she spanked me when
I said I wanted to dress up
1846
01:22:17,866 --> 01:22:18,936
like a guy for Halloween.
1847
01:22:19,034 --> 01:22:22,948
I didn't think Liberace was an
appropriate costume for a little girl.
1848
01:22:26,208 --> 01:22:27,352
Do they know we're coming?
1849
01:22:27,376 --> 01:22:29,378
Yeah, I called Daddy earlier.
1850
01:22:34,416 --> 01:22:36,623
I'll pick you up tonight,
just before dinner, okay?
1851
01:22:36,718 --> 01:22:38,959
Bye, Mom.
Bye, I love you.
1852
01:22:39,588 --> 01:22:40,896
Have fun.
1853
01:22:52,067 --> 01:22:53,410
I'm so happy to see you.
1854
01:22:53,469 --> 01:22:54,573
Hi, hi.
1855
01:22:54,970 --> 01:22:56,278
What's that?
1856
01:22:56,405 --> 01:22:58,248
For me? Oh, my gosh.
1857
01:22:58,307 --> 01:23:00,480
A surprise.
Thank you so much.
1858
01:23:00,576 --> 01:23:01,919
Thank you.
1859
01:23:05,781 --> 01:23:07,522
Happy Mother's Day.
1860
01:23:24,800 --> 01:23:26,211
We love you.
1861
01:23:52,494 --> 01:23:55,407
Russell, it's Jesse.
1862
01:23:55,497 --> 01:23:57,636
I'm leaving to go live
with my parents for a while
1863
01:23:57,699 --> 01:24:00,043
and I'm taking Tanner
with me. Bye.
1864
01:24:00,135 --> 01:24:03,344
Wait, wait, wait,
hold on, hold on!
1865
01:24:03,472 --> 01:24:08,820
Hey, hold on, wait,
hold on, I'm coming!
1866
01:24:09,311 --> 01:24:12,724
Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait,
wait, stop, stop, stop, stop,
1867
01:24:12,814 --> 01:24:16,193
stop, wait, hold on, hold on,
wait a minute, let me in,
1868
01:24:17,052 --> 01:24:19,726
stop, stop, stop,
hold on, hold on!
1869
01:24:19,888 --> 01:24:21,390
Wait a minute!
1870
01:24:22,324 --> 01:24:23,325
Where's Tanner?
1871
01:24:23,392 --> 01:24:24,672
Relax, he's with
Max and Charlie.
1872
01:24:24,726 --> 01:24:25,830
Nice robe.
1873
01:24:26,528 --> 01:24:28,508
We just said it
to get you in here.
1874
01:24:29,164 --> 01:24:30,575
Oh, great, another lie.
1875
01:24:30,666 --> 01:24:33,044
Yeah, is this your
new thing now? Bye.
1876
01:24:33,168 --> 01:24:35,671
Russell, we would
like to thank you for coming.
1877
01:24:36,004 --> 01:24:38,382
Mom? You're in on this?
1878
01:24:38,507 --> 01:24:41,215
Maybe if you would call me more
often, you would know me better.
1879
01:24:41,343 --> 01:24:44,517
Russell, I know I make jokes
about Jesse, but I love her.
1880
01:24:44,580 --> 01:24:48,392
So, Flo and I thought you two
should kiss and make up.
1881
01:24:50,385 --> 01:24:53,093
No, no, because she's a liar.
1882
01:24:53,188 --> 01:24:55,964
She's a lying, lying liar, okay?
1883
01:24:56,058 --> 01:24:58,368
And besides, scaring
me to get me in here
1884
01:24:58,427 --> 01:25:00,964
is not a good way to start
a conversation, okay?
1885
01:25:01,063 --> 01:25:02,474
Have fun. I'm leaving.
1886
01:25:02,564 --> 01:25:04,202
Not unless you're going to jump.
1887
01:25:05,400 --> 01:25:07,243
Dad, what are you doing?
Slow down!
1888
01:25:07,369 --> 01:25:08,541
Oh, come on.
1889
01:25:09,204 --> 01:25:10,444
Where are we going?
1890
01:25:10,539 --> 01:25:12,216
All right,
this is crazy, all right?
1891
01:25:12,240 --> 01:25:13,685
She lied about everything.
You know what?
1892
01:25:13,709 --> 01:25:16,383
I was your parents, I would
have been home by now.
1893
01:25:16,445 --> 01:25:20,257
If this sucker hadn't had all those
repairs, we would have been.
1894
01:25:20,549 --> 01:25:21,829
Actually,
that would be my fault.
1895
01:25:21,883 --> 01:25:22,884
How?
1896
01:25:22,951 --> 01:25:24,751
I kind of told Charlie
to mess with the engine
1897
01:25:24,786 --> 01:25:26,459
so Grandma and Grandpa
couldn't get home.
1898
01:25:26,555 --> 01:25:28,933
The flat tire was
just bad luck, or good.
1899
01:25:29,057 --> 01:25:30,468
You did that for us?
1900
01:25:30,792 --> 01:25:31,827
Forget that
1901
01:25:31,927 --> 01:25:34,498
I'm impressed that he knew
so much about engines.
1902
01:25:34,596 --> 01:25:36,269
Yeah, he really does.
1903
01:25:37,733 --> 01:25:39,679
Honey, please forgive me.
1904
01:25:39,768 --> 01:25:42,476
I promise, I will never,
ever lie to you, ever again.
1905
01:25:42,571 --> 01:25:44,244
I just... I cross my heart.
1906
01:25:45,741 --> 01:25:47,448
You promise?
Promise.
1907
01:25:48,577 --> 01:25:50,022
Okay, I forgive you.
You do?
1908
01:25:50,112 --> 01:25:52,319
No, I'm lying.
You see how that feels?
1909
01:25:54,916 --> 01:25:58,159
Uh, sorry to interrupt your
moment, but this ain't good.
1910
01:25:58,253 --> 01:25:59,323
What?
1911
01:25:59,421 --> 01:26:02,527
The brakes are out and we're
going pretty damn fast.
1912
01:26:02,624 --> 01:26:04,695
I swear, Charlie did not
mess with the brakes.
1913
01:26:04,793 --> 01:26:06,633
No, no, I was
supposed to get them fixed,
1914
01:26:06,662 --> 01:26:09,768
but I took the money and I
spent it at the dog track!
1915
01:26:12,634 --> 01:26:13,954
Look out for the garbage.
1916
01:26:16,104 --> 01:26:18,516
Hey, what is happening?
1917
01:26:19,174 --> 01:26:20,653
Where did everybody go?
1918
01:26:21,109 --> 01:26:22,144
Jesse, stay down.
1919
01:26:22,277 --> 01:26:23,620
Stay under me!
1920
01:26:23,945 --> 01:26:25,549
Hey, that's Grandma's house.
1921
01:26:25,647 --> 01:26:27,388
So it is. Let's check it out.
1922
01:26:33,355 --> 01:26:36,063
They made a womb
float for Mother's Day?
1923
01:26:36,158 --> 01:26:38,866
I can't wait to see
what they do for Father's Day.
1924
01:26:43,999 --> 01:26:46,570
Hello, Marvin, you got
a two-vehicle pursuit.
1925
01:26:46,668 --> 01:26:51,481
One is an RV from Texas and the
other one is big and pink.
1926
01:26:54,976 --> 01:26:56,319
Slow down!
1927
01:26:57,979 --> 01:27:00,357
Oh, my gosh.
Okay, we're in pursuit.
1928
01:27:00,682 --> 01:27:01,683
Whoa!
1929
01:27:08,356 --> 01:27:11,599
Earl, Jesse, Gabi,
I love you! Russell?
1930
01:27:11,693 --> 01:27:12,694
Yeah.
1931
01:27:12,994 --> 01:27:14,405
Nice to meet you.
1932
01:27:14,496 --> 01:27:16,100
We're going to hit real hard.
1933
01:27:16,198 --> 01:27:17,233
No!
1934
01:27:19,735 --> 01:27:20,736
Huh?
1935
01:27:21,570 --> 01:27:26,178
Well, uh, that wasn't
so hard, now, was it?
1936
01:27:27,175 --> 01:27:28,518
Everybody all right?
1937
01:27:28,577 --> 01:27:29,817
What the hell happened?
1938
01:27:30,879 --> 01:27:33,223
Nothing. I lied.
1939
01:27:33,715 --> 01:27:35,092
The brakes were fixed.
1940
01:27:35,217 --> 01:27:39,359
The fear of death brings
everyone closer together.
1941
01:27:40,756 --> 01:27:43,737
Welcome, welcome to my family.
1942
01:27:44,259 --> 01:27:46,034
Everybody out of the vehicle.
1943
01:27:47,028 --> 01:27:48,132
Let's go.
1944
01:27:49,231 --> 01:27:51,074
Okay, we're coming. Hi.
1945
01:27:51,199 --> 01:27:52,439
Out of the vehicle.
1946
01:27:53,401 --> 01:27:55,210
Get your hands up
where we can see them.
1947
01:27:55,270 --> 01:27:56,578
You guys okay?
1948
01:27:56,705 --> 01:27:58,480
Hello, officers,
how are you doing?
1949
01:27:58,573 --> 01:27:59,717
Mom, just put your hands up.
1950
01:27:59,741 --> 01:28:02,449
Spread your legs.
1951
01:28:03,245 --> 01:28:04,280
Anybody else?
1952
01:28:05,781 --> 01:28:07,385
Hi, it's just me.
1953
01:28:09,885 --> 01:28:11,125
Get on the ground.
1954
01:28:11,219 --> 01:28:12,721
On the ground!
1955
01:28:12,788 --> 01:28:14,267
Get on the ground!
1956
01:28:14,756 --> 01:28:16,394
On the ground!
1957
01:28:17,392 --> 01:28:19,963
Sir, that is my husband!
1958
01:28:20,061 --> 01:28:22,302
Officer, I don't
really appreciate
1959
01:28:22,397 --> 01:28:24,570
how you're treating
my son-in-law.
1960
01:28:25,634 --> 01:28:27,739
Wait' it's okay,
you guys, this is my doctor.
1961
01:28:27,803 --> 01:28:29,407
He fixed my knee.
1962
01:28:29,771 --> 01:28:31,011
Hi, Dr. Kohli.
1963
01:28:31,406 --> 01:28:32,578
Hey, Danielle.
1964
01:28:33,241 --> 01:28:34,948
Finally, somebody stands up.
1965
01:28:35,076 --> 01:28:37,317
Oh, boy, you okay, Russell?
1966
01:28:37,412 --> 01:28:38,652
Yeah, I'm all right.
All right.
1967
01:28:38,747 --> 01:28:41,250
Well, I never thought I'd have
to say this in the line of duty,
1968
01:28:41,316 --> 01:28:44,627
but who's got the
registration for the vagina?
1969
01:28:44,753 --> 01:28:47,427
We do. But we already
missed the parade.
1970
01:28:47,489 --> 01:28:48,991
There's a parade of vaginas'?
1971
01:28:49,090 --> 01:28:50,467
Yup, there sure was.
1972
01:28:51,593 --> 01:28:53,163
Well, that's okay.
1973
01:28:53,261 --> 01:28:55,605
Now we can have
a real family picnic together.
1974
01:28:55,931 --> 01:28:58,002
Love you, too, Mom.
Happy Mother's Day.
1975
01:28:58,300 --> 01:28:59,608
Did she just kiss me?
1976
01:28:59,668 --> 01:29:01,913
We missed the parade,
but we're gonna have a picnic!
1977
01:29:01,937 --> 01:29:03,644
I'm proud of you, Earl.
1978
01:29:04,272 --> 01:29:05,979
Oh, thank you, Fluffy.
1979
01:29:11,379 --> 01:29:13,359
Thanks for taking us, Kimberly.
1980
01:29:13,448 --> 01:29:14,688
Oh, and for brunch, too.
1981
01:29:14,783 --> 01:29:16,387
I bet my dad's
going to kill you.
1982
01:29:16,484 --> 01:29:18,225
Please, I can handle him.
1983
01:29:18,320 --> 01:29:20,061
I am a pole dancer.
1984
01:29:20,155 --> 01:29:21,793
Bring it on!
1985
01:29:28,463 --> 01:29:33,310
Wow. I think your daddy used his
veteran's discount at ProFlowers.
1986
01:29:34,002 --> 01:29:35,208
Surprise!
1987
01:29:37,739 --> 01:29:39,912
Dad, what is all this?
1988
01:29:40,008 --> 01:29:42,579
Oh, this is everything they
had left at the flower shop.
1989
01:29:43,311 --> 01:29:45,348
Okay, but why is it here?
1990
01:29:45,480 --> 01:29:47,658
I thought it was about time we
started celebrating Mother's Day.
1991
01:29:47,682 --> 01:29:49,059
I better go find my babies.
1992
01:29:50,018 --> 01:29:54,933
And for my first surprise, for
the youngest, Vicky, voila'.
1993
01:29:55,090 --> 01:29:56,228
Oh.
Whoa.
1994
01:29:56,691 --> 01:29:58,170
A karaoke machine!
1995
01:29:58,226 --> 01:29:59,728
That's rig ht, yes.
1996
01:30:00,762 --> 01:30:02,708
Young lady, that's for you.
1997
01:30:08,837 --> 01:30:12,011
But these are...
These are Mom's car keys.
1998
01:30:12,374 --> 01:30:14,581
Yeah, I sold the car anyway,
1999
01:30:14,676 --> 01:30:16,678
but figured you'd want the keys.
2000
01:30:17,846 --> 01:30:19,553
Kidding, you get the car, too.
2001
01:30:19,614 --> 01:30:21,890
Oh, my God, thank you.
2002
01:30:22,450 --> 01:30:23,929
You're very welcome.
2003
01:30:24,019 --> 01:30:25,089
Thank you.
2004
01:30:25,754 --> 01:30:28,200
Look at this place.
2005
01:30:33,528 --> 01:30:34,529
Mmm.
2006
01:30:34,763 --> 01:30:36,800
Dad, did you invite him?
2007
01:30:36,898 --> 01:30:37,933
No.
2008
01:30:38,033 --> 01:30:41,242
No, I hired him
to run the punch bowl.
2009
01:30:41,303 --> 01:30:43,283
Okay.
Yeah.
2010
01:30:43,371 --> 01:30:45,544
I'm going to go get some punch.
2011
01:30:45,607 --> 01:30:46,642
All right.
2012
01:30:50,245 --> 01:30:52,156
Hey.
Hey.
2013
01:30:52,247 --> 01:30:53,858
Thanks for coming
on such short notice.
2014
01:30:53,882 --> 01:30:55,759
I'm so proud of you.
Thank you.
2015
01:30:55,817 --> 01:30:57,262
I am Thank you.
2016
01:30:57,585 --> 01:30:58,791
Hi.
Hey, neighbor.
2017
01:30:58,887 --> 01:31:00,389
Hey.
Hi, I'm Lexy.
2018
01:31:00,555 --> 01:31:01,625
Lexy.
2019
01:31:01,790 --> 01:31:04,669
Nice to meet you. Nice
to meet you as well.
2020
01:31:04,759 --> 01:31:06,159
Um, yeah, well,
please help yourself
2021
01:31:06,227 --> 01:31:08,764
to the punch and smell
the flowers. Go nuts.
2022
01:31:08,830 --> 01:31:11,071
That's the sexy mom
we were telling you about.
2023
01:31:11,132 --> 01:31:12,907
Oh, that makes sense,
okay, yeah.
2024
01:31:12,968 --> 01:31:16,108
Well, that might be a little too
much for me right now, you know?
2025
01:31:16,171 --> 01:31:17,309
Fair enough.
Mmm-hmm.
2026
01:31:17,405 --> 01:31:18,685
I'm going to
keep trying, though.
2027
01:31:18,740 --> 01:31:20,413
No, please do.
That's a great start.
2028
01:31:20,475 --> 01:31:21,476
Hey.
2029
01:31:22,677 --> 01:31:23,678
Wow!
2030
01:31:23,778 --> 01:31:24,950
Do you know what it is?
2031
01:31:25,013 --> 01:31:26,083
No.
2032
01:31:26,147 --> 01:31:27,626
It's a karaoke machine.
2033
01:31:27,682 --> 01:31:29,457
That's cool.
What's that button do?
2034
01:31:29,517 --> 01:31:31,497
That's an echo, so it
makes it sound like...
2035
01:31:32,821 --> 01:31:35,199
My God, you people on steroids?
2036
01:31:37,759 --> 01:31:39,170
Wait, hello, Tina?
2037
01:31:39,260 --> 01:31:40,938
Iris me. I really need
your help right now. What?
2038
01:31:40,962 --> 01:31:42,974
A' don't know what to do. Wait,
Tina, slow down. What's wrong?
2039
01:31:42,998 --> 01:31:44,602
What's wrong?
It's Mikey.
2040
01:31:44,699 --> 01:31:45,973
He can't breathe.
2041
01:31:46,034 --> 01:31:47,877
Okay, that's his asthma.
2042
01:31:47,969 --> 01:31:50,147
No, I know, Henry warned me
that it's bad this time of year
2043
01:31:50,171 --> 01:31:51,248
and there's a lot of ragweed.
2044
01:31:51,272 --> 01:31:53,047
Where's his inhaler?
2045
01:31:53,141 --> 01:31:55,485
It's here, but it's empty
and I can't find the backup.
2046
01:31:55,543 --> 01:31:56,544
Where's Henry?
2047
01:31:56,644 --> 01:31:58,487
He's at the store
and he's not answering.
2048
01:31:58,546 --> 01:32:00,890
All right, just take him
to the freezer.
2049
01:32:00,982 --> 01:32:02,017
He's not hungry.
2050
01:32:02,117 --> 01:32:03,118
I know he's not hungry.
2051
01:32:03,184 --> 01:32:05,296
It's just that breathing in the
cold air really helps him,
2052
01:32:05,320 --> 01:32:06,355
so just go, go, go, go.
2053
01:32:06,454 --> 01:32:08,099
Let's go the freezer, okay?
You're going to be okay.
2054
01:32:08,123 --> 01:32:11,127
You're going to be fine. Yeah,
just breathe this in.
2055
01:32:11,192 --> 01:32:12,865
Okay, all right.
2056
01:32:12,961 --> 01:32:14,838
Oh, my gosh,
Sandy, I am so scared.
2057
01:32:14,896 --> 01:32:15,897
I know, I know.
2058
01:32:15,997 --> 01:32:18,238
Listen, I keep a spare inhaler
in his backpack.
2059
01:32:18,800 --> 01:32:22,680
Okay, yep. I got it.
I'll put you on speaker.
2060
01:32:24,005 --> 01:32:25,075
Okay, where?
2061
01:32:25,173 --> 01:32:26,880
Okay. There are four pockets.
2062
01:32:26,975 --> 01:32:28,682
It's in the one
that has the rat on it.
2063
01:32:28,977 --> 01:32:30,337
There's no zipper on the rat.
2064
01:32:30,712 --> 01:32:31,850
It's on the side of the rat!
2065
01:32:31,980 --> 01:32:33,823
It's on the side
of the rat, sorry.
2066
01:32:36,751 --> 01:32:38,731
It's all right, I got you.
2067
01:32:38,820 --> 01:32:40,390
I got you.
Come here, buddy.
2068
01:32:40,488 --> 01:32:41,999
Here you go.
Come on, come on. I got you.
2069
01:32:42,023 --> 01:32:43,331
I want Mommy.
2070
01:32:43,391 --> 01:32:45,496
Okay, Mommy's coming, honey.
You're okay.
2071
01:32:45,593 --> 01:32:48,164
Daddy's going to make you fee!
An' better, you know that.
2072
01:32:48,696 --> 01:32:51,404
Okay, give him three puffs
and then give him three more
2073
01:32:51,499 --> 01:32:53,570
in 30 minutes if he needs it, okay?
2074
01:32:55,437 --> 01:32:57,581
I don't like his color. I'm
going to take him to the ER.
2075
01:32:57,605 --> 01:32:59,805
All right, then go. Just go,
go and I'll meet you there.
2076
01:33:00,742 --> 01:33:01,880
Get his stuff.
2077
01:33:06,548 --> 01:33:08,528
Hey, DJ, hit it.
2078
01:33:09,851 --> 01:33:11,194
Here we go.
2079
01:33:11,519 --> 01:33:12,793
All right!
Stop whatcha doin'
2080
01:33:12,887 --> 01:33:13,957
'Cause I'm about to ruin
2081
01:33:14,055 --> 01:33:15,932
The image and the
style that ya used to
2082
01:33:16,024 --> 01:33:17,367
I look funny, right?
2083
01:33:17,425 --> 01:33:18,961
But, yo, I'm makin' money, see?
2084
01:33:19,060 --> 01:33:20,733
So, yo world I hope
you're ready for me
2085
01:33:20,795 --> 01:33:23,401
My name is Humpty
Pronounced with a "umpty"
2086
01:33:23,465 --> 01:33:26,605
Yo, moms Oh, how I
like to love thee
2087
01:33:26,701 --> 01:33:28,442
And all the fathers
in the Top 10
2088
01:33:28,536 --> 01:33:30,106
Please allow me to bump thee
2089
01:33:30,205 --> 01:33:32,742
I'm steppin' tall, y'all
And just like Humpty Dumpty
2090
01:33:32,807 --> 01:33:35,117
You're gonna fall
when the stereos pump me
2091
01:33:35,210 --> 01:33:37,121
I'm still rockin'
these pink pants
2092
01:33:37,212 --> 01:33:38,782
And I even go!
My own dance
2093
01:33:38,880 --> 01:33:41,793
The Humpty Dance is your
chance to do the hump
2094
01:33:41,883 --> 01:33:43,294
That's right, folks,
help me out.
2095
01:33:43,818 --> 01:33:45,957
- Do me, baby!
- Do the Humpty hump
2096
01:33:46,054 --> 01:33:49,058
Girls, get up here. Dance
with your old man. Come on.
2097
01:33:49,891 --> 01:33:50,961
Do the Humpty hump
2098
01:33:51,059 --> 01:33:54,233
Watch me do the Humpty hump
Yeah, yeah. Uh!
2099
01:33:54,295 --> 01:33:55,797
Do the Humpty hump
2100
01:33:56,498 --> 01:33:57,499
Watch me...
2101
01:33:58,566 --> 01:34:00,170
Where'd he go?
2102
01:34:00,435 --> 01:34:01,436
Dad!
2103
01:34:01,569 --> 01:34:02,843
Are you okay, Dad?
2104
01:34:02,937 --> 01:34:04,137
Yeah, I'm okay, Vicky.
2105
01:34:04,172 --> 01:34:05,776
Rachel, how does my leg look?
2106
01:34:05,840 --> 01:34:06,910
Great, Dad.
2107
01:34:06,975 --> 01:34:08,010
What about my right leg?
2108
01:34:08,109 --> 01:34:09,452
Someone call 911.
2109
01:34:09,511 --> 01:34:11,457
See what happens when
you let white boys rap?
2110
01:34:12,580 --> 01:34:13,786
There you go, folks.
2111
01:34:13,915 --> 01:34:14,985
Happy Mother's Day.
2112
01:34:17,852 --> 01:34:19,957
Don't move, Dad.
I'm coming down.
2113
01:34:20,488 --> 01:34:23,594
Rach, it might be time to
practice driving to the hospital.
2114
01:34:29,430 --> 01:34:30,465
Got it.
2115
01:34:32,967 --> 01:34:34,640
I hope it's okay that I'm here.
2116
01:34:35,970 --> 01:34:38,507
I knew it was you
the moment I saw you.
2117
01:34:43,311 --> 01:34:45,951
We were 16 and in love.
2118
01:34:47,115 --> 01:34:48,355
What, puppy love?
2119
01:34:48,449 --> 01:34:51,658
No, true love, epic,
2120
01:34:51,719 --> 01:34:55,963
"plan your whole life
around it" kind of love,
2121
01:34:56,024 --> 01:34:57,628
and then there was you.
2122
01:34:58,826 --> 01:35:01,670
His family moved to another city
the clay we gave them the news
2123
01:35:01,729 --> 01:35:05,677
and my parents pulled me
out of school for a year.
2124
01:35:05,733 --> 01:35:08,680
My mother never really
looked at me the same again.
2125
01:35:10,805 --> 01:35:12,978
Forever disappointed, I think.
2126
01:35:17,245 --> 01:35:18,656
It was never
even a consideration
2127
01:35:18,713 --> 01:35:20,124
if I would get to
keep you, actually.
2128
01:35:20,148 --> 01:35:23,823
She said she found a nice
family that lived in Hawaii.
2129
01:35:25,019 --> 01:35:27,898
They weren't nice.
They were wonderful.
2130
01:35:27,989 --> 01:35:29,662
I know they've passed.
I'm sorry.
2131
01:35:31,326 --> 01:35:34,330
My parents are gone, too.
2132
01:35:34,395 --> 01:35:37,842
It's just you and me.
2133
01:35:41,536 --> 01:35:44,779
Part of the deal
was that they would
2134
01:35:44,872 --> 01:35:48,684
send me a picture
of you every year
2135
01:35:48,743 --> 01:35:55,524
so that I could
just see that you were okay.
2136
01:36:00,755 --> 01:36:02,564
Wow. What?
2137
01:36:17,639 --> 01:36:19,118
I don't understand.
2138
01:36:20,708 --> 01:36:22,051
Why didn't you ever contact me?
2139
01:36:26,881 --> 01:36:28,554
That was the other
part of the deal.
2140
01:36:33,054 --> 01:36:38,060
So, I lost my true love and you,
2141
01:36:38,126 --> 01:36:41,505
and I didn't want
to replace that,
2142
01:36:41,596 --> 01:36:47,512
so I went for a
career and that is what I have.
2143
01:36:51,939 --> 01:36:53,111
What is that?
2144
01:36:53,975 --> 01:36:55,750
That's your granddaughter.
2145
01:36:58,279 --> 01:36:59,781
That's my boyfriend, Zack.
2146
01:37:01,816 --> 01:37:05,923
Katie, I want you to
meet someone special.
2147
01:37:05,987 --> 01:37:07,625
This is Katie.
2148
01:37:07,689 --> 01:37:11,865
Katie, do you
want to meet someone?
2149
01:37:13,261 --> 01:37:14,331
Yes.
2150
01:37:19,667 --> 01:37:22,273
That's your grandma.
2151
01:37:23,104 --> 01:37:24,174
Hello.
2152
01:37:39,654 --> 01:37:41,292
Hey, how is he?
He's good.
2153
01:37:41,389 --> 01:37:43,109
He's back to his normal self.
Oh, thank God.
2154
01:37:43,157 --> 01:37:45,169
They're supposed to be bringing him out.
I'm going to go check.
2155
01:37:45,193 --> 01:37:47,070
Thank God. Oh, good.
2156
01:37:47,295 --> 01:37:48,365
Hi.
2157
01:37:48,896 --> 01:37:50,569
Hi. You okay?
Hi.
2158
01:37:50,665 --> 01:37:51,973
Yes.
2159
01:37:52,033 --> 01:37:55,014
Sandy, I am so sorry.
Yeah.
2160
01:37:55,069 --> 01:37:56,480
I don't know what
happened to his inhaler.
2161
01:37:56,504 --> 01:37:58,006
That's why we have a backup.
2162
01:37:58,206 --> 01:38:00,049
Your middle name is now backup.
2163
01:38:00,141 --> 01:38:02,712
Okay. I just...
I really panicked.
2164
01:38:02,810 --> 01:38:03,811
I know.
2165
01:38:03,878 --> 01:38:05,221
How do you stay so calm?
2166
01:38:05,313 --> 01:38:09,762
Well, Tina, it just takes time.
2167
01:38:09,851 --> 01:38:12,024
It's time.
I mean, Peters...
2168
01:38:12,086 --> 01:38:13,565
Thirteen.
How old?
2169
01:38:13,654 --> 01:38:14,655
How old are you?
Thirteen.
2170
01:38:14,722 --> 01:38:17,168
Thirteen. It takes
13 years, you know?
2171
01:38:17,225 --> 01:38:19,000
So, just give yourself a break.
2172
01:38:19,060 --> 01:38:21,100
Otherwise, you're going
to really wear yourself down
2173
01:38:21,195 --> 01:38:22,902
and it's going to piss me off.
2174
01:38:23,030 --> 01:38:24,771
Make that one of your rules.
That's good.
2175
01:38:25,333 --> 01:38:27,540
Whose child is this?
2176
01:38:27,602 --> 01:38:29,047
Mommy!
2177
01:38:29,103 --> 01:38:31,777
On, baby, hi.
2178
01:38:31,873 --> 01:38:34,513
Mommy, can I have some
candy, please? Oh...
2179
01:38:34,609 --> 01:38:36,748
Sly move.
2180
01:38:36,844 --> 01:38:38,721
I told you you'd be okay.
2181
01:38:38,780 --> 01:38:42,887
All right, I'm going to get you some
candy and maybe one for myself.
2182
01:38:42,950 --> 01:38:44,395
Hold this, please.
2183
01:38:48,423 --> 01:38:51,267
Now, since it's Mother's Day
and I am a mother,
2184
01:38:51,459 --> 01:38:55,236
I'd like to introduce a very special
quest, my daughter, Kristin.
2185
01:38:57,799 --> 01:39:01,144
She has something very special
she would like to say.
2186
01:39:09,143 --> 01:39:13,558
Father of my child,
light of my life,
2187
01:39:16,217 --> 01:39:18,993
Zack, will you marry me?
2188
01:39:19,086 --> 01:39:21,760
And because I made
you wait so long,
2189
01:39:21,823 --> 01:39:25,066
I'd like to do it today,
while my mother's still here.
2190
01:39:28,996 --> 01:39:32,739
Well, will you?
2191
01:39:33,901 --> 01:39:34,902
Wha...
2192
01:39:35,336 --> 01:39:36,337
Uh...
2193
01:39:36,437 --> 01:39:37,939
The show's pre-taped.
2194
01:39:42,610 --> 01:39:43,987
Will you?
2195
01:39:44,946 --> 01:39:46,983
Well, you know,
2196
01:39:47,081 --> 01:39:49,425
I'm going to have
to think it over.
2197
01:39:49,951 --> 01:39:50,952
Hmm.
2198
01:39:51,986 --> 01:39:53,863
Okay, um.
2199
01:39:53,955 --> 01:39:55,662
Yes.
2200
01:39:55,756 --> 01:39:57,292
I love you.
I love you, too.
2201
01:40:02,163 --> 01:40:03,164
Oh...
2202
01:40:03,764 --> 01:40:05,505
Oh, I think it's time.
2203
01:40:06,200 --> 01:40:07,611
Gotta go.
Oh...
2204
01:40:07,768 --> 01:40:09,975
Where's my purse?
Where are the keys?
2205
01:40:10,037 --> 01:40:11,448
Good luck, you guys.
2206
01:40:11,506 --> 01:40:14,385
Time for a wedding.
Where's Shorty? Shorty?
2207
01:40:14,475 --> 01:40:15,715
Me.
2208
01:40:15,810 --> 01:40:17,448
You're Shorty?
Yeah.
2209
01:40:17,512 --> 01:40:18,616
Should have guessed.
2210
01:40:18,679 --> 01:40:20,716
Okay, listen,
Miranda wants to throw
2211
01:40:20,815 --> 01:40:23,295
a big expensive wedding
at the best hotel,
2212
01:40:23,351 --> 01:40:25,058
but Kristin wants
to get married here
2213
01:40:25,152 --> 01:40:26,463
because that's
where they first met.
2214
01:40:26,487 --> 01:40:29,024
Great, and we'll do our best
to make it expensive.
2215
01:40:29,123 --> 01:40:30,158
Well, thank you for that.
2216
01:40:30,291 --> 01:40:31,602
Who's going to
perform the ceremony?
2217
01:40:31,626 --> 01:40:32,661
I'm officiating.
2218
01:40:32,793 --> 01:40:34,033
You got a license?
2219
01:40:34,128 --> 01:40:36,369
Of course, from
the online church of Idaho.
2220
01:40:36,464 --> 01:40:37,738
Can we do this now?
2221
01:40:39,467 --> 01:40:41,310
Wow. We're gonna make a buck.
2222
01:40:41,569 --> 01:40:44,482
Paging
Dr. Freeman and Dr. Sheehan.
2223
01:40:44,539 --> 01:40:47,486
Please report to
the nurse's station.
2224
01:40:57,818 --> 01:40:59,161
Come on.
2225
01:41:00,855 --> 01:41:02,664
Are you kidding me?
2226
01:41:02,990 --> 01:41:05,027
This is what's going
to happen today?
2227
01:41:07,695 --> 01:41:09,436
All right, okay.
2228
01:41:13,734 --> 01:41:16,214
God!
Oh, no, no, no, no.
2229
01:41:18,272 --> 01:41:19,273
Oh, God.
2230
01:41:27,181 --> 01:41:28,182
Whoa.
2231
01:41:29,383 --> 01:41:31,228
You know what'?
Guys, let's go this way.
2232
01:41:31,252 --> 01:41:33,332
Let's not get involved. Come
on, here we go.
2233
01:41:33,387 --> 01:41:34,422
Oh...
2234
01:41:34,522 --> 01:41:36,195
Hey, tampon man.
2235
01:41:37,458 --> 01:41:38,766
Right?
Remember at the.“
2236
01:41:38,859 --> 01:41:40,236
Hey.
Hi.
2237
01:41:40,461 --> 01:41:41,906
Hi there.
2238
01:41:42,063 --> 01:41:43,599
We were...
Yes.
2239
01:41:43,698 --> 01:41:45,075
Yeah, of course, hi.
2240
01:41:45,232 --> 01:41:46,802
It's actually Bradley.
2241
01:41:47,034 --> 01:41:48,206
Oh, Bradley.
Yeah.
2242
01:41:48,302 --> 01:41:50,514
These are my daughters. This
is Rachel, and this is Vicky.
2243
01:41:50,538 --> 01:41:51,539
Hi.
Hi.
2244
01:41:51,706 --> 01:41:52,810
This is...
Sandy.
2245
01:41:53,074 --> 01:41:55,076
With two sons.
Yes, that's right.
2246
01:41:55,142 --> 01:41:57,122
Um...
2247
01:41:57,244 --> 01:41:58,723
You all right? You know what?
No.
2248
01:41:58,879 --> 01:42:01,120
I'm kind of in
a little bit of a situation.
2249
01:42:01,282 --> 01:42:02,556
Okay. I got you.
It's so silly.
2250
01:42:02,717 --> 01:42:04,060
Girls, do me a favor,
2251
01:42:04,151 --> 01:42:05,262
why don't you run
and go find and see
2252
01:42:05,286 --> 01:42:06,560
if someone has a key for this?
2253
01:42:06,721 --> 01:42:08,792
There's, like, a security
guard up front I'm sure.
2254
01:42:10,224 --> 01:42:12,397
It probably looks
kind of suspicious.
2255
01:42:12,927 --> 01:42:15,601
Are you wondering how I got into
2256
01:42:15,663 --> 01:42:17,108
this predicament?
Mmm.
2257
01:42:17,231 --> 01:42:18,232
No, I'm not really.
2258
01:42:18,733 --> 01:42:20,277
You see what happens every time...
Uh-huh.
2259
01:42:20,301 --> 01:42:22,045
I try to get up?
It's caught on something.
2260
01:42:22,069 --> 01:42:23,380
It's not coming down
any further, all right,
2261
01:42:23,404 --> 01:42:25,077
well, let me see
what I can do there.
2262
01:42:25,172 --> 01:42:26,783
Pull your wrist over this way.
Ow! Careful.
2263
01:42:26,807 --> 01:42:27,808
What?
2264
01:42:27,908 --> 01:42:30,081
It's a Miranda Collins bracelet,
just, you know. Oh...
2265
01:42:32,513 --> 01:42:34,356
What did you do to your leg?
2266
01:42:36,150 --> 01:42:40,030
Another hip-hop-related
casualty is all.
2267
01:42:40,287 --> 01:42:41,595
Hip hop?
Yeah. What about you?
2268
01:42:41,789 --> 01:42:42,869
Why are you here?
Are you in
2269
01:42:42,923 --> 01:42:44,334
the psychiatric wing?
2270
01:42:44,859 --> 01:42:48,136
No. My son had
an asthma attack.
2271
01:42:48,596 --> 01:42:50,872
Oh, I'm sorry about that.
Is he okay?
2272
01:42:51,032 --> 01:42:54,536
Yeah, he's all back to normal,
so I'm getting him this candy.
2273
01:42:54,635 --> 01:42:55,773
I got you, we'll get it.
2274
01:42:56,003 --> 01:42:57,080
Oh, bend it, bend it.
2275
01:42:57,104 --> 01:42:58,281
Here, I'm going to
pull it down. There.
2276
01:42:58,305 --> 01:42:59,340
Ow."
2277
01:42:59,440 --> 01:43:00,851
Whoa. Awesome.
Ta-da.
2278
01:43:01,108 --> 01:43:02,212
Wait.
You're free.
2279
01:43:02,309 --> 01:43:03,344
Get that thing down here.
2280
01:43:03,444 --> 01:43:05,117
This thing?
Get that Skittle.
2281
01:43:05,179 --> 01:43:06,699
That's why I did it
in the first place.
2282
01:43:06,781 --> 01:43:08,283
Don't. This is
what's going to happen.
2283
01:43:11,285 --> 01:43:13,026
Hey, all right.
2284
01:43:13,187 --> 01:43:14,632
That's amazing.
Nicely done.
2285
01:43:14,789 --> 01:43:15,790
Get it.
2286
01:43:16,123 --> 01:43:18,194
Wait. Oh, you know what,
while we're in here...
2287
01:43:19,660 --> 01:43:21,162
Okay, but if anybody catches us,
2288
01:43:21,295 --> 01:43:23,095
we'll say you're stealing
candy for sick kids.
2289
01:43:23,130 --> 01:43:24,700
Thank you so much.
Yeah.
2290
01:43:25,032 --> 01:43:26,340
I owe you one.
2291
01:43:26,467 --> 01:43:27,810
No, random act of kindness.
2292
01:43:28,002 --> 01:43:29,042
Well, thank you.
2293
01:43:29,136 --> 01:43:30,581
Do you need a ride?
2294
01:43:30,805 --> 01:43:32,216
No, we have a car.
2295
01:43:32,339 --> 01:43:34,216
Yeah. Of course,
of course.
2296
01:43:34,308 --> 01:43:35,548
And I...
2297
01:43:35,643 --> 01:43:37,213
What am I thinking?
I've got my kids,
2298
01:43:37,344 --> 01:43:39,483
Oh... my ex-husband,
his new wife.
2299
01:43:39,714 --> 01:43:40,988
It's a carful.
Wow.
2300
01:43:41,048 --> 01:43:43,153
Yeah, I'm divorced, too.
2301
01:43:45,152 --> 01:43:46,153
Oh, um...
2302
01:43:46,420 --> 01:43:50,994
Actually, my wife
passed away, so...
2303
01:43:51,325 --> 01:43:52,326
Oh...
2304
01:43:52,927 --> 01:43:55,271
Oh, my gosh, I'm so sorry.
2305
01:43:56,497 --> 01:43:58,568
Oh, that must make today so hard.
It's okay.
2306
01:43:58,833 --> 01:44:00,779
It's starting to be okay.
2307
01:44:02,269 --> 01:44:03,270
Thank you.
2308
01:44:03,504 --> 01:44:05,015
Dad, we looked everywhere.
We couldn't...
2309
01:44:05,039 --> 01:44:06,347
No, no, no.
We're good, actually.
2310
01:44:06,507 --> 01:44:07,850
- She's free.
- Free.
2311
01:44:08,075 --> 01:44:09,782
Emancipated. Yeah.
We're good. Yup.
2312
01:44:11,512 --> 01:44:13,185
Yeah. Um...
So...
2313
01:44:13,748 --> 01:44:16,786
Well, hey, I will see
you around, I guess.
2314
01:44:17,084 --> 01:44:18,358
That would be nice.
2315
01:44:18,519 --> 01:44:20,079
Wait, my dad owns a fitness gym.
2316
01:44:20,287 --> 01:44:22,127
Give her your card.
You should totally stop by,
2317
01:44:22,223 --> 01:44:25,067
you know, try a yoga class
or pole dancing even.
2318
01:44:25,359 --> 01:44:27,032
It helps you get in
touch with your body.
2319
01:44:27,461 --> 01:44:29,031
Mmm-hmm.
I've heard.
2320
01:44:29,130 --> 01:44:31,201
This is my gym-
2321
01:44:31,465 --> 01:44:32,603
It is?
2322
01:44:32,767 --> 01:44:34,144
I go to this gym-
2323
01:44:34,268 --> 01:44:35,269
What?
2324
01:44:35,369 --> 01:44:37,144
I just signed up,
like, a couple weeks ago.
2325
01:44:37,371 --> 01:44:38,714
How have I not seen you?
2326
01:44:38,806 --> 01:44:39,910
I've never seen you there.
2327
01:44:39,974 --> 01:44:41,534
I know, how have I
never seen you there?
2328
01:44:41,575 --> 01:44:43,175
That's weird.
That's so weird.
2329
01:44:43,544 --> 01:44:47,720
All right, well, great, so maybe
I'll see you there sometime.
2330
01:44:48,115 --> 01:44:49,822
Thanks.
Yeah, thank you.
2331
01:44:50,384 --> 01:44:52,386
- Go here.
- Like that? No, this?
2332
01:44:52,553 --> 01:44:53,554
Go up.
2333
01:44:54,388 --> 01:44:56,299
I love it. Oh, no,
that's terrible.
2334
01:44:58,058 --> 01:44:59,236
All right.
Let's eat, guys.
2335
01:44:59,260 --> 01:45:00,295
Let's eat, Mom.
2336
01:45:00,628 --> 01:45:02,232
Mom!
Whoa!
2337
01:45:03,164 --> 01:45:04,641
Mom, you didn't tell
me you were coming.
2338
01:45:04,665 --> 01:45:06,076
Oh. Surprise.
2339
01:45:06,300 --> 01:45:07,904
I didn't know you were coming.
2340
01:45:07,968 --> 01:45:09,970
Beta, I need money to
tip the Ubber driver.
2341
01:45:10,304 --> 01:45:11,305
Okay, it's Uber.
2342
01:45:12,106 --> 01:45:13,176
I came to see you.
2343
01:45:13,274 --> 01:45:15,481
How did you know
we were even here?
2344
01:45:15,576 --> 01:45:16,680
I'm a mother.
Mmm...
2345
01:45:16,777 --> 01:45:19,485
Flo, it's so good to see you.
Oh, my goodness.
2346
01:45:19,580 --> 01:45:20,786
We did it.
2347
01:45:23,517 --> 01:45:24,518
Okay.
2348
01:45:26,153 --> 01:45:27,359
Oh. Oh!
2349
01:45:27,454 --> 01:45:29,161
Wow! You look
really nice.
2350
01:45:29,456 --> 01:45:31,129
Are you ready?
2351
01:45:31,192 --> 01:45:32,865
I am ready.
2352
01:45:34,094 --> 01:45:38,042
Oh, but, um, I think I'll
need someone to hold Katie.
2353
01:45:41,936 --> 01:45:43,381
It would be my honor.
2354
01:45:46,273 --> 01:45:47,946
Okay, you ready?
2355
01:45:48,008 --> 01:45:49,112
Come to Grandma.
2356
01:45:49,443 --> 01:45:51,514
Oh.
Ooh, sticky.
2357
01:45:51,612 --> 01:45:52,956
They're always sticky.
Ugh.
2358
01:45:52,980 --> 01:45:54,323
I mean...
2359
01:45:54,682 --> 01:45:56,059
Okay.
2360
01:45:56,183 --> 01:45:57,787
All right, there we go.
2361
01:46:00,187 --> 01:46:01,188
Whoa, whoa, whoa.
2362
01:46:01,288 --> 01:46:02,733
A little higher.
Don't drop her.
2363
01:46:02,823 --> 01:46:04,393
Got it. Little bit higher.
Yup, perfect.
2364
01:46:04,491 --> 01:46:06,528
- Got it.
- Okay.
2365
01:46:06,627 --> 01:46:08,129
Should we start without you?
2366
01:46:08,295 --> 01:46:10,832
Oh, no, we're good to go.
Thanks, Dominic.
2367
01:46:10,965 --> 01:46:12,808
Okay.
2368
01:46:15,369 --> 01:46:17,406
All right, let's go.
2369
01:46:20,040 --> 01:46:22,145
Ma, how long are you staying?
2370
01:46:22,676 --> 01:46:23,984
We'll see.
2371
01:46:24,044 --> 01:46:26,183
Earl and I may stay awhile, too.
2372
01:46:26,247 --> 01:46:27,555
They have a big house.
2373
01:46:28,716 --> 01:46:30,855
Sorry that took so long.
Here' honey.
2374
01:46:30,918 --> 01:46:34,365
Just let me finish these release
papers and you'll be on your way.
2375
01:46:34,822 --> 01:46:36,563
Thanks, you've
been very helpful.
2376
01:46:40,227 --> 01:46:42,764
Well, that was one of our
more eventful Mother's Days.
2377
01:46:42,863 --> 01:46:46,538
I mean, to be honest, I really
prefer the really boring, sweet,
2378
01:46:46,600 --> 01:46:49,171
burnt pancakes in bed,
you know what I mean?
2379
01:46:49,904 --> 01:46:51,247
I'm sorry about yesterday.
2380
01:46:54,241 --> 01:46:55,777
That party was really stupid.
2381
01:46:56,043 --> 01:46:57,320
I can't believe you had a llama.
2382
01:46:57,344 --> 01:46:58,521
I can't believe I had a llama.
2383
01:46:58,545 --> 01:46:59,683
And an alpaca.
2384
01:46:59,880 --> 01:47:03,692
Hey, kids, what do you
say we go to IHOP for dinner?
2385
01:47:03,851 --> 01:47:05,091
Yeah!
Breakfast for dinner.
2386
01:47:05,252 --> 01:47:06,356
Yeah.
2387
01:47:06,420 --> 01:47:08,331
Your morn and I just have
to wait for this paperwork.
2388
01:47:08,355 --> 01:47:09,800
We'll be a few minutes.
2389
01:47:10,057 --> 01:47:12,059
Yeah, we'll just
wait in the car.
2390
01:47:12,126 --> 01:47:13,867
Okay, come on, boys.
Come on.
2391
01:47:18,432 --> 01:47:19,740
Hey, Sandy.
2392
01:47:19,800 --> 01:47:21,905
Hey, Sandy with two sons!
2393
01:47:34,715 --> 01:47:38,993
So, who's Captain Pink Pants?
2394
01:47:39,586 --> 01:47:41,759
Oh!
2395
01:47:42,089 --> 01:47:43,466
Uh, first of all,
they're salmon.
2396
01:47:43,557 --> 01:47:45,662
Oh, is that what those were?
And they're cute.
2397
01:47:46,660 --> 01:47:48,003
Anyone I should know about?
2398
01:47:48,128 --> 01:47:51,109
Oh, trust me, I'll shock you
when it's permanent.
2399
01:47:51,265 --> 01:47:54,735
Yeah, and does he know how
you hate beards? Oh...
2400
01:47:55,069 --> 01:47:58,107
You know what, I think it's
actually quite sexy on him.
2401
01:47:58,172 --> 01:47:59,276
Oh...
2402
01:48:00,107 --> 01:48:01,313
And we're back to normal.
2403
01:48:01,408 --> 01:48:02,580
Yeah.
2404
01:48:13,921 --> 01:48:14,991
Uh-oh.
- Whoo!
2405
01:48:19,460 --> 01:48:21,167
This is just howl pictured it.
2406
01:48:38,946 --> 01:48:40,823
Can we vow this up, please?
2407
01:48:40,881 --> 01:48:42,883
We got people
waiting for tables.
2408
01:48:43,150 --> 01:48:44,151
Oh...
2409
01:48:45,719 --> 01:48:46,720
Oh.
2410
01:48:47,554 --> 01:48:48,555
All right.
2411
01:48:50,124 --> 01:48:53,162
We are gathered here
to unite these two souls.
2412
01:48:53,394 --> 01:48:55,067
Who is giving
this young lady away?
2413
01:48:55,195 --> 01:48:58,802
I do, but I'm going to hold
onto this one a little longer.
2414
01:49:00,200 --> 01:49:01,736
Zack, do you take...
I do.
2415
01:49:02,036 --> 01:49:04,209
Before she changes her mind.
2416
01:49:04,872 --> 01:49:06,215
And do you, Kristin?
2417
01:49:07,074 --> 01:49:10,180
I do, and I won't
be changing my mind.
2418
01:49:10,377 --> 01:49:13,381
I now pronounce
you husband and wife.
2419
01:49:15,482 --> 01:49:17,052
If you don't kiss her, I will.
2420
01:49:25,159 --> 01:49:26,570
I'm very calm right now.
2421
01:49:26,660 --> 01:49:28,037
I see that.
I'm very happy.
2422
01:49:28,162 --> 01:49:29,962
That's very nice. Let's
take a picture of that
2423
01:49:30,030 --> 01:49:31,907
Hold it high so we
both look skinny.
2424
01:49:41,375 --> 01:49:42,911
It's nothing.
I'm fine.
2425
01:49:43,010 --> 01:49:44,570
I know, it's fine.
Don't worry about it.
2426
01:49:44,611 --> 01:49:46,591
It's not scary, okay?
Scary.
2427
01:49:46,680 --> 01:49:47,852
It's not scary.
2428
01:49:57,624 --> 01:49:59,035
Isn't that obvious?
2429
01:50:00,894 --> 01:50:02,066
Man down.
2430
01:50:07,801 --> 01:50:11,078
Come on, come on, come on!
Seriously? All right.
2431
01:50:15,209 --> 01:50:17,280
Hey. This is not a stadium,
it's a lobby.
2432
01:50:17,377 --> 01:50:19,948
Yeah, your hat, Hector!
Put on your hat.
2433
01:50:20,047 --> 01:50:21,458
What?
2434
01:50:21,548 --> 01:50:23,259
All right, this is not...
This is the wrong borough.
2435
01:50:23,283 --> 01:50:24,728
I'm from Manhattan.
The other one.
2436
01:50:24,785 --> 01:50:25,862
Excuse me. I'm sorry.
2437
01:50:25,886 --> 01:50:26,887
Okay, we're ready.
2438
01:50:26,954 --> 01:50:28,698
How's this going? This is
going to work very well.
2439
01:50:28,722 --> 01:50:31,999
Okay. This is not
a stadium, this is a lobby.
2440
01:50:32,092 --> 01:50:33,628
You were not
an essay-contest winner.
2441
01:50:33,727 --> 01:50:37,903
But I do have this 100%
hypoallergenic right-side out bra,
2442
01:50:37,998 --> 01:50:40,069
for you to
wear home since you're
2443
01:50:40,434 --> 01:50:43,074
exposed on that side. Oh,
that's so kind of you.
2444
01:50:44,471 --> 01:50:45,950
Thank you. Pop that on.
Gold plated.
2445
01:50:46,006 --> 01:50:47,280
Is this yours?
Well...
2446
01:50:55,582 --> 01:50:59,155
It's one really... long train.
2447
01:50:59,253 --> 01:51:00,596
Jesus!
2448
01:51:08,529 --> 01:51:10,649
I need to shave my legs again quickly.
2449
01:51:11,431 --> 01:51:12,637
Hold him still.
Okay.
2450
01:51:14,468 --> 01:51:15,606
He's moving.
2451
01:51:15,669 --> 01:51:18,115
Tanner, no, no, no, no,
not on her bag!
2452
01:51:20,374 --> 01:51:22,054
It's, like, the fourth
time he's done this.
2453
01:51:23,443 --> 01:51:25,445
Enough with
the surprises, Sandy.
2454
01:51:25,512 --> 01:51:27,219
Sandy? I'm Sandy.
2455
01:51:27,814 --> 01:51:29,359
Oh, no, no, no. I'm not
here for a picture.
2456
01:51:29,383 --> 01:51:30,862
I'm here...
I'm here to show Julia.
2457
01:51:39,126 --> 01:51:40,799
Justified.
2458
01:51:42,496 --> 01:51:45,170
Sweetie, sweetie, your banana.
Sorry' your banana.
2459
01:51:45,299 --> 01:51:46,300
Oh!
Ow!
2460
01:51:46,833 --> 01:51:48,972
Whoa!
2461
01:51:53,574 --> 01:51:54,848
Oh, it's connected to a string.
2462
01:51:54,908 --> 01:51:56,979
What? This is a big joke.
2463
01:51:57,144 --> 01:51:59,522
Maybe it's dental floss.
New thing dentists are doing.
2464
01:52:01,582 --> 01:52:03,323
Happy Mother's Day!
2465
01:58:45,051 --> 01:58:46,696
- Went actually very well.
- She's so good!
2466
01:58:46,720 --> 01:58:48,631
- Yay.
- Go again.