1 00:02:05,625 --> 00:02:07,452 (THUNDER) 2 00:02:28,690 --> 00:02:32,308 It was a quiet day at the Rigby Reardon Detective Agency. 3 00:02:32,444 --> 00:02:37,189 I had a hangover, and business was so slow I was rereading old newspapers. 4 00:02:37,323 --> 00:02:40,823 I was even thinking of closing up the office for a few days... 5 00:02:40,952 --> 00:02:43,953 - when all of a sudden... - (KNOCK AT DOOR) 6 00:02:58,511 --> 00:03:00,469 - Mr Reardon? - That's right. 7 00:03:01,306 --> 00:03:03,345 My... 8 00:03:03,475 --> 00:03:05,716 My name... my... 9 00:03:17,072 --> 00:03:21,532 In all my years in the business, I'd never seen anything like her. 10 00:03:50,355 --> 00:03:54,269 Was she real? There was only one way to find out. 11 00:03:56,236 --> 00:03:58,394 But I remembered Marlowe's words. 12 00:04:03,618 --> 00:04:05,907 What the hell does Marlowe know? 13 00:04:06,788 --> 00:04:09,742 She was real all right. 14 00:04:13,086 --> 00:04:15,791 What are you doing? 15 00:04:15,922 --> 00:04:18,413 Adjusting your breasts. 16 00:04:18,550 --> 00:04:22,547 You fainted and they... shifted all outta whack. 17 00:04:26,474 --> 00:04:28,882 - There. - Thank you. 18 00:04:29,728 --> 00:04:32,016 You're welcome. 19 00:04:33,481 --> 00:04:35,723 (SHE SIGHS) 20 00:04:37,444 --> 00:04:42,271 Thank you. I... I apologise for my dramatic entrance. 21 00:04:42,407 --> 00:04:46,025 It's just when I saw the... newspaper headlines... 22 00:04:49,622 --> 00:04:53,869 - You must be quite a Dodgers fan. - No, I saw... the front page. 23 00:05:05,930 --> 00:05:08,848 - What's your name, Dollface? - Juliet Forrest. 24 00:05:09,934 --> 00:05:11,974 Forrest... 25 00:05:12,687 --> 00:05:16,352 Daughter of the big cheesemaker. You could use a cup of my famous java. 26 00:05:17,817 --> 00:05:21,103 Cheese was Daddy's hobby. He was a scientist. 27 00:05:22,072 --> 00:05:25,405 - Quite an accident he had. - That's what I came to see you about. 28 00:05:25,533 --> 00:05:28,653 You don't think it was an accident. You think he was murdered. 29 00:05:28,787 --> 00:05:31,194 How did you know? 30 00:05:31,664 --> 00:05:34,950 It's my business to know, Miss Forrest. Sit down. 31 00:05:38,630 --> 00:05:40,872 What makes you think it wasn't an accident? 32 00:05:41,007 --> 00:05:43,677 Just before it... it happened... 33 00:05:44,678 --> 00:05:49,636 he behaved very erratically, writing out lists of names, dozens of them. 34 00:05:49,766 --> 00:05:53,431 He wrote them on blotters and scratch pads, whatever was handy. 35 00:05:53,561 --> 00:05:56,515 Here's one of the lists... or part of one. 36 00:05:57,565 --> 00:06:00,021 It's from a dollar bill. 37 00:06:02,153 --> 00:06:06,483 Somehow I got the feeling he was the victim of a giant conspiracy. 38 00:06:09,285 --> 00:06:13,153 You deducted murder and a giant conspiracy from this? 39 00:06:13,289 --> 00:06:16,575 You think I'm too impulsive, don't you, Mr Reardon? 40 00:06:16,710 --> 00:06:18,951 Maybe. 41 00:06:19,504 --> 00:06:21,746 Maybe not. 42 00:06:23,049 --> 00:06:27,676 If you want me to investigate your father's death, I get $10 a day. 43 00:06:27,804 --> 00:06:30,212 Plus expenses. 44 00:06:31,516 --> 00:06:34,552 Will $200 be enough in advance, Mr Reardon? 45 00:06:34,686 --> 00:06:38,137 - For $200 I'd shoot my grandmother. - That won't be necessary. 46 00:06:38,273 --> 00:06:43,350 You never can tell. On my last case, I had to throw my brother out of a plane. 47 00:06:43,486 --> 00:06:46,191 Where'd your father keep his correspondence? 48 00:06:46,322 --> 00:06:50,237 He had a small private office downtown. Here's the key. 49 00:06:51,828 --> 00:06:55,493 Thank you, Mr Reardon. I appreciate this. 50 00:06:56,166 --> 00:06:58,454 - Miss Forrest? - Yes? 51 00:06:58,585 --> 00:07:02,499 Save me some shoe leather if you told me what address this key fits. 52 00:07:02,630 --> 00:07:05,584 It was 429 Firehouse Row. 53 00:07:05,717 --> 00:07:08,386 Pretty seedy part of town for a renowned scientist. 54 00:07:08,511 --> 00:07:11,429 It was the only place he could experiment with cheese... 55 00:07:11,556 --> 00:07:15,091 without the smell bothering the neighbours. 56 00:07:15,226 --> 00:07:17,682 I'll see what I can turn up. 57 00:07:21,649 --> 00:07:24,319 Good day, Mr Reardon. 58 00:07:25,737 --> 00:07:29,817 On my way to Firehouse Row, I tried not to think of Juliet Forrest. 59 00:07:29,949 --> 00:07:31,693 I hadn't seen a body like that... 60 00:07:31,826 --> 00:07:36,073 since I'd solved the case of the murdered girl with the big tits. 61 00:07:37,040 --> 00:07:40,076 I had no trouble finding Dr Forrest's cheese lab. 62 00:07:40,210 --> 00:07:42,535 It smelled like the number on the door. 63 00:07:43,421 --> 00:07:45,912 Inside, I turned up something interesting. 64 00:07:48,468 --> 00:07:53,344 "To John Forrest, a dear man who, like his cheeses, gets stronger with age." 65 00:07:53,473 --> 00:07:55,549 "Love, Kitty." 66 00:07:55,684 --> 00:07:59,551 So the old renowned scientist was getting a little on the side. 67 00:08:12,242 --> 00:08:14,733 "Enemies of Carlotta." 68 00:08:15,203 --> 00:08:17,694 "Friends of Carlotta." 69 00:08:23,211 --> 00:08:25,417 - "Kitty Collins"? - (FOOTSTEPS) 70 00:08:32,554 --> 00:08:34,214 Sounds like company. 71 00:08:41,438 --> 00:08:43,893 (KNOCKING) Exterminator. 72 00:08:45,108 --> 00:08:47,350 Just a minute. 73 00:08:53,742 --> 00:08:55,485 Come in. 74 00:08:59,581 --> 00:09:01,823 Sit down. 75 00:09:07,964 --> 00:09:10,538 There's some cookies on the table. 76 00:09:12,552 --> 00:09:14,877 Have one. 77 00:09:16,431 --> 00:09:19,136 (CRUNCHING) 78 00:09:19,517 --> 00:09:21,759 Good, aren't they? 79 00:09:29,319 --> 00:09:33,151 Guess to be a really good exterminator you have to enjoy killing things. 80 00:09:33,281 --> 00:09:34,656 Yeah. 81 00:10:15,949 --> 00:10:18,321 (DOORBELL) 82 00:10:37,137 --> 00:10:40,303 - Yes? - I'd like to see Miss Forrest. 83 00:10:40,890 --> 00:10:44,971 - Who shall I say is calling? - Mr Reardon. Tell her I've been shot. 84 00:10:45,103 --> 00:10:46,763 Very good, sir. 85 00:10:46,896 --> 00:10:50,265 - May I tell her by whom? - No. I don't know myself. 86 00:10:51,943 --> 00:10:56,023 Are you all right? You look as though you're going to faint. 87 00:10:56,156 --> 00:10:58,611 Faint? Ha! 88 00:10:59,451 --> 00:11:01,490 Never. 89 00:11:02,746 --> 00:11:05,071 - Catch me. - Sorry. 90 00:11:05,540 --> 00:11:08,209 I'm a butler... not a catcher. 91 00:11:17,344 --> 00:11:20,214 - (SUCKING) - Dollface... 92 00:11:23,892 --> 00:11:26,134 What are you doing?! 93 00:11:32,525 --> 00:11:34,981 It should feel better now. 94 00:11:38,656 --> 00:11:41,574 - Where'd you learn that? - At camp. 95 00:11:43,036 --> 00:11:47,662 - You learned that at girls' camp? - It's really for snakebite, but... 96 00:11:47,791 --> 00:11:49,914 I find it works for everything. 97 00:11:50,210 --> 00:11:55,251 You mumbled about Kitty Collins and Swede Anderson being on a list. 98 00:11:55,382 --> 00:11:59,082 - "Friends of Carlotta"? - That's right. Do you know them? 99 00:12:01,680 --> 00:12:03,886 Kitty was... 100 00:12:04,349 --> 00:12:08,678 Kitty was someone Daddy trifled with after Mother dried up. 101 00:12:08,812 --> 00:12:11,267 And Swede was Kitty's boyfriend. 102 00:12:12,190 --> 00:12:14,681 Where are they now? 103 00:12:15,735 --> 00:12:18,143 The last I heard, they were in Santa Barbara. 104 00:12:18,279 --> 00:12:21,613 He used to be a boxer. Now he works in a gas station... 105 00:12:21,741 --> 00:12:23,864 And she sings in a private club. 106 00:12:27,997 --> 00:12:32,126 You may be interested in this. I found it in Daddy's study. 107 00:12:33,962 --> 00:12:36,832 "Thanks for the check. In case I'm indisposed..." 108 00:12:36,965 --> 00:12:41,009 "...the dollar you gave me for safekeeping is in the top of the sugar bowl." 109 00:12:41,136 --> 00:12:43,294 - "Shh." - (WHISPERS) Why? 110 00:12:44,014 --> 00:12:46,136 No. This. 111 00:12:46,599 --> 00:12:51,345 No, no, no. That's not "Shh." It's S-H-H. Samuel H Hastings. 112 00:12:51,479 --> 00:12:53,887 My brother-in-law. Or at least he was. 113 00:12:54,024 --> 00:12:57,891 He and my sister Leona are separated. He's a hopeless drunk. 114 00:12:58,028 --> 00:13:00,400 - Where is he now? - I don't know. 115 00:13:01,823 --> 00:13:04,492 Get your sister Leona for me. 116 00:13:04,617 --> 00:13:06,242 All right. 117 00:13:06,369 --> 00:13:09,121 I'm afraid she may not be very much help. 118 00:13:09,247 --> 00:13:12,497 - She's very disturbed. - How disturbed? 119 00:13:12,625 --> 00:13:15,496 She's been diagnosed as a paranoid hypochondriac. 120 00:13:15,628 --> 00:13:19,247 - Doctors think she may be faking. - I'll know after one word if she is. 121 00:13:20,592 --> 00:13:22,631 (PHONE) 122 00:13:22,761 --> 00:13:24,504 - Hello? - She's faking. 123 00:13:24,637 --> 00:13:28,801 Mrs Hastings? My name's Reardon. Sorry to hear your father's passed on. 124 00:13:28,933 --> 00:13:31,638 No, he hasn't. He won't be back till Sunday. 125 00:13:31,895 --> 00:13:34,600 Sunday? You don't understand, Mrs Hastings. 126 00:13:34,731 --> 00:13:37,269 I'm investigating your father's death. 127 00:13:37,400 --> 00:13:41,445 My father called me from Chicago tonight. He never mentioned a word! 128 00:13:41,571 --> 00:13:44,240 Maybe it slipped his mind. (WHISTLES) 129 00:13:44,366 --> 00:13:47,569 Look, uh, your father is dead, Mrs Hastings. 130 00:13:47,702 --> 00:13:50,869 Your sister Juliet feels his death wasn't an accident. 131 00:13:50,997 --> 00:13:53,120 What are you talking about? 132 00:13:53,249 --> 00:13:56,001 I had a long talk with him just a little while ago. 133 00:13:56,127 --> 00:14:01,003 - He told me terrible things about you. - Listen, you phony fruitcake! 134 00:14:02,926 --> 00:14:06,710 Sorry I called you a fruitcake. I just don't have time to listen to... 135 00:14:06,846 --> 00:14:09,302 All right, don't listen! Who cares? 136 00:14:10,517 --> 00:14:13,553 Your sister has a lot to learn about phone courtesy. 137 00:14:13,687 --> 00:14:15,845 You got any idea how I could locate Sam? 138 00:14:15,980 --> 00:14:18,851 You might ask the bartenders along 5th Street. 139 00:14:18,983 --> 00:14:21,439 I'll call you if I turn up anything. 140 00:14:22,779 --> 00:14:27,737 Oh... If I'm not home, leave a message with the butler or the cleaning woman. 141 00:14:31,705 --> 00:14:34,160 Cleaning woman. 142 00:14:35,792 --> 00:14:38,200 Cleaning woman. 143 00:14:38,837 --> 00:14:41,078 Cleaning woman. 144 00:14:41,965 --> 00:14:45,416 Cleaning woman! Cleaning woman! 145 00:14:45,677 --> 00:14:48,084 Cleaning woman! Cleaning woman! 146 00:14:48,346 --> 00:14:50,553 Cleaning woman! Cleaning woman! 147 00:15:01,818 --> 00:15:04,190 (COUGHS) 148 00:15:07,240 --> 00:15:09,233 Sorry. 149 00:15:11,786 --> 00:15:14,194 Why did you do that? 150 00:15:18,668 --> 00:15:21,290 When I was seven years old... 151 00:15:21,963 --> 00:15:24,632 my father ran off with the cleaning... 152 00:15:25,342 --> 00:15:27,085 (MOUTHS) 153 00:15:29,346 --> 00:15:31,338 My mother died of a broken heart. 154 00:15:32,474 --> 00:15:35,344 Now every time someone says cleaning... 155 00:15:37,896 --> 00:15:39,354 (MOUTHS) 156 00:15:42,567 --> 00:15:45,901 - ...I go berserk. - Oh! You poor dear. 157 00:15:46,905 --> 00:15:49,443 I don't blame you for strangling me. 158 00:15:50,408 --> 00:15:52,899 I'll never say it again. 159 00:15:53,995 --> 00:15:56,035 Thanks. 160 00:15:58,291 --> 00:16:00,533 So long, Dollface. 161 00:16:10,261 --> 00:16:13,595 I legged it down 5th Street looking for Samuel H Hastings. 162 00:16:13,723 --> 00:16:16,641 It was a street of frustrated hopes and broken dreams. 163 00:16:16,768 --> 00:16:22,059 Everything was cheap, cut-rate. Even the prostitutes were having a sale. 164 00:16:22,190 --> 00:16:27,185 There was no problem finding Hastings. He owed money to every bartender. 165 00:16:27,320 --> 00:16:31,781 He was staying at the Hotel Ward on 5th Street. It used to be on 8th Street... 166 00:16:31,908 --> 00:16:36,487 But they took so many rubber checks, it bounced all the way across town. 167 00:16:36,621 --> 00:16:39,077 I went to his room and knocked. 168 00:16:51,261 --> 00:16:54,546 - Hastings? Sam Hastings? - Who is it? 169 00:16:54,681 --> 00:16:58,132 My name is Reardon. I... have a proposition for ya. 170 00:16:59,310 --> 00:17:01,552 But not today. Does it have to be today? 171 00:17:01,688 --> 00:17:04,226 - Yeah. - Come on Monday. 172 00:17:05,275 --> 00:17:09,319 - I got that money for ya. - What money? 173 00:17:09,446 --> 00:17:12,400 There's a dollar bill hidden in your sugar bowl. 174 00:17:12,532 --> 00:17:14,988 I'll give you five bucks for it. 175 00:17:15,744 --> 00:17:19,243 - You could buy a lotta booze with that. - Just a minute. 176 00:17:23,918 --> 00:17:26,244 Look in the top. 177 00:17:40,143 --> 00:17:44,354 It fits perfectly. Most of the names are illegible... 178 00:17:44,481 --> 00:17:48,015 But I can work out Kitty Collins and Swede Anderson. 179 00:17:49,110 --> 00:17:51,150 But what does "FOC" mean? 180 00:17:51,279 --> 00:17:56,321 It's a slang word. When a man and a woman are in love, the man puts his... 181 00:17:56,451 --> 00:17:58,907 No, no. Written here. F-O-C. 182 00:17:59,496 --> 00:18:03,624 Oh. Unless I miss my guess, that stands for "Friends of Carlotta". 183 00:18:05,251 --> 00:18:08,537 - I'm impressed. - You think that's impressive... 184 00:18:13,885 --> 00:18:17,219 There I was, standing like a kid doing corny tricks for her... 185 00:18:17,347 --> 00:18:20,632 Driving miles out of my way just to see her. 186 00:18:20,850 --> 00:18:22,890 Why? 187 00:18:23,687 --> 00:18:26,142 What are you thinking, Mr Reardon? 188 00:18:27,816 --> 00:18:31,149 So long, Dollface. I'll be in Santa Barbara if you need me. 189 00:18:39,619 --> 00:18:43,118 I found out Kitty Collins was working at the Brentwood Room. 190 00:18:43,248 --> 00:18:44,908 The Brentwood Room. 191 00:18:45,041 --> 00:18:49,169 Where rich women go to meet rich men so they can have rich kids. 192 00:18:58,888 --> 00:19:00,881 Miss Collins? 193 00:19:01,016 --> 00:19:05,096 Kitty wouldn't give me any information if she thought I was a private eye... 194 00:19:05,228 --> 00:19:06,687 Excuse me. 195 00:19:06,813 --> 00:19:10,182 so I decided to act like a big-shot movie producer. 196 00:19:11,067 --> 00:19:14,519 - My name's Reardon. I make movies. - How wonderful of you. 197 00:19:14,988 --> 00:19:18,653 - You like boxing pictures? - I'm afraid I've never seen one. 198 00:19:18,783 --> 00:19:24,489 I'm casting a big boxing picture at RKO. I'm looking for a singer. You interested? 199 00:19:24,622 --> 00:19:28,667 The idea of two men beating each other to a pulp makes me ill. 200 00:19:29,669 --> 00:19:32,243 Well, I'm also doing a religious picture. 201 00:19:32,380 --> 00:19:35,583 The Story of Saint... Betty. 202 00:19:37,218 --> 00:19:41,679 You know, the... nun who taught the lepers how to sing. 203 00:19:42,557 --> 00:19:44,929 - How wonderful of you. - Thanks. 204 00:19:46,728 --> 00:19:49,978 John Hay Forrest said you were a friend of Carlotta's. 205 00:19:50,106 --> 00:19:52,099 Will you excuse me? 206 00:19:52,233 --> 00:19:55,649 I must have hit a nerve. She went white as a ghost. 207 00:19:56,112 --> 00:20:00,062 The next day I tailed Kitty Collins to a fancy restaurant. 208 00:20:03,328 --> 00:20:07,408 Midway through the meal, she noticed me and did a pretty strange thing. 209 00:20:07,540 --> 00:20:10,031 She took off her brooch and ditched it. 210 00:20:10,794 --> 00:20:13,463 I had a pretty good idea where. 211 00:20:28,311 --> 00:20:31,098 Hold it, pal. I'm from the health department. 212 00:20:31,231 --> 00:20:35,442 We have a report that your soup has too much jewellery in it. 213 00:20:56,589 --> 00:20:59,507 "EOC." Enemies of Carlotta. 214 00:21:01,970 --> 00:21:05,670 The only name on the list that wasn't crossed out was Swede Anderson. 215 00:21:05,807 --> 00:21:09,639 I decided to drop in on him before they crossed him out too. 216 00:21:09,769 --> 00:21:11,928 Swede wasn't living in luxury. 217 00:21:12,063 --> 00:21:15,895 As a matter of fact, for a moment, I thought he wasn't living at all. 218 00:21:18,445 --> 00:21:20,271 Swede? 219 00:21:22,240 --> 00:21:25,324 Sorry, Swede. I thought you'd been murdered. 220 00:21:26,661 --> 00:21:28,903 Come on, wake up! 221 00:21:30,415 --> 00:21:31,826 Come on, Swede. 222 00:21:34,210 --> 00:21:36,832 You need a cup of my java. 223 00:22:59,129 --> 00:23:02,580 You're up. Good. The java will be ready in a minute. 224 00:23:20,817 --> 00:23:23,604 This is never gonna heal. 225 00:23:23,737 --> 00:23:25,776 (SUCKING) 226 00:23:34,873 --> 00:23:39,618 Anyway, my guess is by now Kitty Collins is a million miles from here. 227 00:23:40,920 --> 00:23:44,420 Do you think Swede was killed by the same man who murdered my father? 228 00:23:44,549 --> 00:23:49,092 Hold it, Dollface. No one's proved your father's been murdered... 229 00:23:50,972 --> 00:23:52,846 yet. 230 00:23:52,974 --> 00:23:56,390 But you may be right about this being a conspiracy. 231 00:23:56,519 --> 00:24:00,387 It's big. Maybe too big for me to handle alone. 232 00:24:01,066 --> 00:24:03,189 Get me a cup of java, will ya? 233 00:24:03,318 --> 00:24:05,357 (RINGS) 234 00:24:07,530 --> 00:24:09,488 - Yeah? - Hello, Marlowe? 235 00:24:09,616 --> 00:24:11,905 - Oh, hello, Bernie. - No, it's me, Rigby. 236 00:24:12,035 --> 00:24:13,031 What's up? 237 00:24:13,161 --> 00:24:16,696 I'm on an important case. I need your help. How soon can you get here? 238 00:24:16,831 --> 00:24:20,995 - I haven't had breakfast. - Breakfast? You're late for lunch, pal. 239 00:24:21,127 --> 00:24:23,453 - It's two o'clock. - Two o'clock? 240 00:24:23,588 --> 00:24:26,542 Hustle on over here. I'll make you a cup of my famous java. 241 00:24:26,675 --> 00:24:30,293 - I'd rather buy my own. - Suit yourself. See ya in a half-hour. 242 00:24:30,428 --> 00:24:33,382 And Marlowe. Wear a tie, for God's sake. 243 00:24:37,227 --> 00:24:39,350 What's that? 244 00:24:39,479 --> 00:24:41,519 I found it in Daddy's desk. 245 00:24:43,566 --> 00:24:47,647 It looks like a key to one of those lockers at the train station. 246 00:24:47,779 --> 00:24:51,611 Number's been filed off. What's it say on that envelope? 247 00:24:52,575 --> 00:24:54,817 "Most recent rat." 248 00:24:56,413 --> 00:24:59,579 - Very clever. - You understand what it means? 249 00:24:59,708 --> 00:25:03,492 Just a hunch. You know the Chinese have a different animal for every year? 250 00:25:03,628 --> 00:25:06,748 - Yes. - Unless I miss my guess... 251 00:25:06,881 --> 00:25:09,966 The most recent Year of the Rat was 1936. 252 00:25:10,802 --> 00:25:13,756 This is the key to locker number 1936. 253 00:25:15,015 --> 00:25:17,969 - You're a very smart man. - So was Abraham Lincoln. 254 00:25:18,101 --> 00:25:21,600 Look what happened to him. Smart can get you killed. 255 00:25:25,150 --> 00:25:27,391 I hope not. 256 00:25:28,695 --> 00:25:31,150 Sometimes I feel I would like to... 257 00:25:34,284 --> 00:25:36,775 You'd like to what? Kiss me? 258 00:25:37,454 --> 00:25:39,327 Yeah, that would be nice. 259 00:25:39,456 --> 00:25:43,703 It would give me a chance to tell her I was starting to feel something for her. 260 00:25:43,835 --> 00:25:46,124 Something warm and squishy. 261 00:25:46,588 --> 00:25:51,748 But a man in my business can't take on a wife, have a bunch of kids. 262 00:25:53,428 --> 00:25:56,548 - We wouldn't have to have kids. - What? 263 00:25:59,893 --> 00:26:02,135 Look, this is getting us nowhere. 264 00:26:02,270 --> 00:26:03,895 But thanks anyway. 265 00:26:04,022 --> 00:26:07,936 You'd better go now. Marlowe's coming over here to talk. 266 00:26:12,072 --> 00:26:14,360 If you need me, just call. 267 00:26:17,994 --> 00:26:20,366 You know how to dial, don't you? 268 00:26:20,497 --> 00:26:25,159 You just put your finger in the hole, and make tiny little circles. 269 00:26:38,181 --> 00:26:39,640 (KNOCKING) 270 00:26:39,766 --> 00:26:42,055 Come on in. It's open. 271 00:26:46,356 --> 00:26:48,598 Hello, Marlowe. 272 00:26:48,733 --> 00:26:51,651 Dammit. You didn't do what I told ya. 273 00:26:52,195 --> 00:26:55,730 I hate that dumb way of wearing your shirt buttoned with no tie. 274 00:26:55,865 --> 00:26:58,356 Let me get you a tie. 275 00:26:58,952 --> 00:27:02,784 Here. This one's blue, but you can wear it with brown. 276 00:27:02,914 --> 00:27:05,583 - You annoy me. - I annoy you? 277 00:27:05,709 --> 00:27:09,124 You come in here with no tie... Are you drunk? 278 00:27:09,254 --> 00:27:12,041 - How many have you had? - One martini. 279 00:27:12,173 --> 00:27:14,795 - I knew I was gonna see you. - Sit down. 280 00:27:20,306 --> 00:27:22,880 Here's what I want you to do. 281 00:27:26,646 --> 00:27:30,229 Here's a list of names I found in a bowl of soup. Don't ask me to explain. 282 00:27:30,358 --> 00:27:33,028 I think they're all dead. I want you to check 'em out. 283 00:27:33,153 --> 00:27:36,652 And Marlowe? Put this on for me, huh? As a favour. 284 00:27:36,781 --> 00:27:39,023 It's a clip-on. 285 00:27:42,495 --> 00:27:46,991 I put Marlowe to work checking Kitty's list against recent unsolved murders... 286 00:27:47,125 --> 00:27:49,414 While I yellow-cabbed it to the station... 287 00:27:49,544 --> 00:27:53,376 To see how Dr Forrest's key would fit into the puzzle. 288 00:27:53,506 --> 00:27:56,840 I sashayed over to locker number 1936. 289 00:27:58,303 --> 00:28:02,135 The key fit like a glove. As I opened the locker... 290 00:28:02,265 --> 00:28:05,848 I noticed a handsome guy in a grey pinstripe watching me. 291 00:28:05,977 --> 00:28:10,141 It seemed I wasn't the only one who was interested in the contents of that locker. 292 00:28:10,565 --> 00:28:14,100 Inside were two long lists of Carlotta's friends and enemies. 293 00:28:14,235 --> 00:28:16,905 The first name that jumped out was FX Huberman... 294 00:28:17,030 --> 00:28:20,280 Number 46 Bay Court Drive, Grunion Point. 295 00:28:21,368 --> 00:28:25,448 I decided to take a little train ride and visit Mr Huberman. 296 00:28:26,122 --> 00:28:29,207 I knew "Handsome" would follow me, so to throw him off... 297 00:28:29,334 --> 00:28:33,034 I cleverly ducked into the men's room and lost him. 298 00:28:33,922 --> 00:28:38,382 There was no way he could follow me unless I had toilet paper on my shoe. 299 00:28:41,137 --> 00:28:43,177 Damn! 300 00:28:48,311 --> 00:28:51,182 It wasn't really toilet paper, it was a seat cover... 301 00:28:51,314 --> 00:28:55,015 But it was enough for a smart guy to make the connection. 302 00:28:56,027 --> 00:28:57,984 As soon as we went into a tunnel... 303 00:28:58,113 --> 00:29:02,858 Handsome popped in and started looking for a match... in my pockets. 304 00:29:03,993 --> 00:29:07,612 - HANDSOME: Oh! Was that your leg? - RIGBY: No, it was my face. 305 00:29:07,747 --> 00:29:09,954 I had no idea we were going into a tunnel. 306 00:29:10,083 --> 00:29:12,325 RIGBY: I'm sure. 307 00:29:13,003 --> 00:29:15,042 I thought the compartment was empty. 308 00:29:15,171 --> 00:29:17,294 Yeah, right. Uh-huh, sure. 309 00:29:18,758 --> 00:29:22,673 - I'm so sorry. I hope I didn't hurt you. - It's all right. 310 00:29:25,682 --> 00:29:28,173 To what do I owe the pleasure of your company? 311 00:29:28,309 --> 00:29:31,643 The man in the next compartment's smoking a vile cigar. 312 00:29:31,771 --> 00:29:35,057 I had to come in here. You don't smoke, do you? 313 00:29:35,191 --> 00:29:38,358 - No, I have tuberculosis. - Oh, thank heavens for that. 314 00:29:38,486 --> 00:29:41,571 After last night, my head couldn't stand it. 315 00:29:45,910 --> 00:29:50,619 I didn't want him to know where I was going so I decided to put him away fast. 316 00:29:52,375 --> 00:29:54,498 I always carry my harmonica. 317 00:29:54,627 --> 00:29:58,542 It's lighter than an accordion, and more powerful than a sleeping pill. 318 00:29:58,673 --> 00:30:01,129 (PLAYS SOOTHINGLY) 319 00:30:05,347 --> 00:30:09,427 I left him napping like a baby when I ducked out at Grunion Point. 320 00:30:14,230 --> 00:30:18,773 Here's three bucks if you can get this cab to 46 Bay Court in ten minutes. 321 00:30:23,073 --> 00:30:25,528 Follow that cab! 322 00:30:27,869 --> 00:30:29,945 It was a pretty clever thing I did. 323 00:30:30,080 --> 00:30:34,825 By taking the only two cabs, I made sure Handsome couldn't follow me. 324 00:30:36,961 --> 00:30:39,962 When I arrived at Mr Huberman's, I was surprised. 325 00:30:40,090 --> 00:30:44,337 Mr Huberman turned out to be a sexy dame who was throwing a party. 326 00:30:44,469 --> 00:30:48,763 She didn't even ask me what I wanted, just made me feel real welcome. 327 00:30:53,353 --> 00:30:57,185 How about you, handsome? Haven't I seen you somewhere before? 328 00:30:57,315 --> 00:30:59,853 Maybe. I've been somewhere before. 329 00:31:00,402 --> 00:31:04,186 It's nice of you to invite me. I feel a little like a party crasher. 330 00:31:04,322 --> 00:31:06,730 I like party crashers. 331 00:31:06,866 --> 00:31:09,488 I like classy dames with bedroom eyes. 332 00:31:09,619 --> 00:31:11,659 You know something? I like you. 333 00:31:11,788 --> 00:31:13,662 I like me too. 334 00:31:13,790 --> 00:31:18,333 When these people leave, maybe... you and I can have a party of our own. 335 00:31:18,461 --> 00:31:20,869 Oh, I... I have to think that over. 336 00:31:22,507 --> 00:31:23,787 She was a fast thinker. 337 00:31:24,384 --> 00:31:28,845 I'm very sorry. You all have to go. It has been a perfectly hideous party. 338 00:31:30,390 --> 00:31:32,632 - Good night. - MAN: Good night. 339 00:31:54,289 --> 00:31:56,744 Stuffy in here, isn't it? 340 00:31:58,668 --> 00:32:01,753 Suddenly I realised she'd slipped me a Mickey. 341 00:32:01,880 --> 00:32:06,542 My lips felt like two manhole covers. My tongue felt like it had hair on it. 342 00:32:06,676 --> 00:32:10,176 My ears started to ring. I felt like a dog. 343 00:32:12,849 --> 00:32:14,557 Woof! 344 00:32:14,684 --> 00:32:16,677 Woof, Huberman, woof! 345 00:32:16,811 --> 00:32:19,481 Come on. Let's go out dancin'. 346 00:32:20,482 --> 00:32:24,016 You put on your black dress, and I'll go shave my tongue. 347 00:32:26,821 --> 00:32:28,613 (HUMMING) 348 00:32:33,286 --> 00:32:35,907 ♪ Barbasol, Barbasol 349 00:32:36,373 --> 00:32:38,412 ♪ No brush, no lather, no rub-in 350 00:32:38,541 --> 00:32:40,249 ♪ Wet your razor then begin 351 00:32:40,377 --> 00:32:43,792 ♪ Barbasol, Barbasol 352 00:32:43,922 --> 00:32:46,460 ♪ Oompah, oompah, oompah, oompah 353 00:33:16,204 --> 00:33:17,829 Come on, FX. I'm ready! 354 00:33:19,332 --> 00:33:21,574 Let's go dancing. 355 00:33:35,056 --> 00:33:36,171 Hold it! 356 00:33:36,891 --> 00:33:39,347 Sorry, Dollface. 357 00:33:39,644 --> 00:33:43,345 - How did you get here? - Your door was open, so I walked in. 358 00:33:44,274 --> 00:33:48,022 - I've been trying to call you all night. - How did I get here? 359 00:33:48,153 --> 00:33:51,569 - I guess you must have crawled. - Oh, God! 360 00:33:52,824 --> 00:33:55,362 - Oh, no, that's OK. - It's just a little alcohol. 361 00:33:55,493 --> 00:33:57,450 - They don't hurt. - Don't be a baby. 362 00:33:57,579 --> 00:33:59,986 Get back! 363 00:34:03,793 --> 00:34:06,165 What's up? 364 00:34:07,464 --> 00:34:10,085 Sam Hastings is dead. 365 00:34:10,216 --> 00:34:12,707 Poor rummy. How did he get it? 366 00:34:12,844 --> 00:34:16,213 Fell out of a window reaching for a bottle of whisky. 367 00:34:16,348 --> 00:34:20,511 He could have been pushed. I'll have Marlowe check his back for fingerprints. 368 00:34:20,643 --> 00:34:23,181 - Anything else? - Yes. 369 00:34:23,313 --> 00:34:26,349 I found another note Daddy wrote to himself. 370 00:34:26,483 --> 00:34:28,309 "NYTAG-216." 371 00:34:28,443 --> 00:34:31,314 I think it's a New York license plate number. 372 00:34:31,446 --> 00:34:34,815 Not bad, Dollface. Unless I'm... Ohh! Agh! 373 00:34:34,949 --> 00:34:37,191 Careful. Let me get you some alcohol. 374 00:34:37,327 --> 00:34:39,366 No! 375 00:34:45,710 --> 00:34:48,581 It's not N-Y TAG. It's N-Y-T. 376 00:34:49,547 --> 00:34:51,789 New York Times. 377 00:34:57,514 --> 00:34:59,471 So what's "A-G"? 378 00:34:59,599 --> 00:35:03,513 - Standard library talk for August. - And 216? 379 00:35:03,937 --> 00:35:07,637 Stands for the August 2nd issue, page one, column six. 380 00:35:08,858 --> 00:35:11,100 Extension 20, please. 381 00:35:11,569 --> 00:35:13,728 Hi. It's me, Rigby. 382 00:35:13,863 --> 00:35:15,821 Sorry, Hot Legs, I've been busy. 383 00:35:15,949 --> 00:35:18,404 You sashay over to your New York Times file... 384 00:35:18,535 --> 00:35:22,615 Read me what's on page one, column six of the August 2nd issue... 385 00:35:22,747 --> 00:35:25,321 Maybe I'll wine and dine you some night soon. 386 00:35:25,458 --> 00:35:26,490 I'll wait. 387 00:35:26,626 --> 00:35:29,034 You'd wine and dine her for information? 388 00:35:29,170 --> 00:35:31,543 Her? Him. 389 00:35:31,673 --> 00:35:34,342 Yeah... Then read me the whole article. 390 00:35:37,971 --> 00:35:40,213 "Immer Essen". 391 00:35:41,057 --> 00:35:43,429 Walter Neff's the owner. 392 00:35:44,436 --> 00:35:46,891 Thanks, Hot Legs. I owe you a big one. 393 00:35:47,522 --> 00:35:49,764 Immer essen. 394 00:35:52,694 --> 00:35:55,267 Immer essen. That means "always eating". 395 00:35:55,488 --> 00:35:57,896 - What language? - German. 396 00:35:58,575 --> 00:36:01,410 It's also the name of a South American cruise ship. 397 00:36:01,536 --> 00:36:06,494 I know! When Sam Hastings and my sister separated last July... 398 00:36:07,375 --> 00:36:09,783 He took a South American tour on that ship. 399 00:36:09,919 --> 00:36:12,042 Very interesting. 400 00:36:12,172 --> 00:36:15,671 Right after that tour, the company canceled its cruises. 401 00:36:15,800 --> 00:36:18,470 Now Sam Hastings is dead. 402 00:36:18,595 --> 00:36:23,138 - I don't see the connection. - I don't either. That's what bothers me. 403 00:36:35,945 --> 00:36:38,187 - (PHONE RINGS) - Hello? 404 00:36:39,741 --> 00:36:41,615 - Who is it? - This is Marlowe. 405 00:36:42,035 --> 00:36:45,653 Oh, hello, Mr Marlowe. Would you hold a moment, please? 406 00:36:46,539 --> 00:36:48,995 - It's Marlowe. - Good. 407 00:37:01,680 --> 00:37:06,425 Hello, Marlowe. Listen, don't check out those unsolved murders right now. 408 00:37:06,559 --> 00:37:07,639 Yeah? Why not? 409 00:37:07,769 --> 00:37:12,680 I got something more important. You ever had any dealings with Walter Neff? 410 00:37:12,816 --> 00:37:16,149 Walter Neff. He runs a South American cruise-ship company. 411 00:37:17,195 --> 00:37:18,986 Good. Tell me about him. 412 00:37:19,155 --> 00:37:22,240 Cruises supermarkets looking for blondes? 413 00:37:23,618 --> 00:37:26,536 Good. I'll supply the blonde. 414 00:37:31,793 --> 00:37:33,121 One other thing. 415 00:37:33,461 --> 00:37:37,162 If Walter Neff leaves the country, I may have to take a little boat ride. 416 00:37:37,298 --> 00:37:42,293 If I do, stay off the booze. These people we're dealing with are killers. 417 00:37:42,429 --> 00:37:46,011 Well, thanks for telling me. Have a nice trip. 418 00:37:46,141 --> 00:37:49,592 I may not leave right away, but thanks anyway. And Marlowe? 419 00:37:49,728 --> 00:37:52,053 - You wearin' a tie? - Goodbye. 420 00:37:56,192 --> 00:37:58,730 - What was that all about? - Marlowe knows Neff. 421 00:37:58,862 --> 00:38:01,732 Says he's a pushover for beautiful blondes. 422 00:38:01,865 --> 00:38:04,237 It means we need a female spy. 423 00:38:09,414 --> 00:38:11,407 Why not use me? 424 00:38:16,254 --> 00:38:18,377 Sorry. 425 00:38:18,506 --> 00:38:20,879 You're not blonde enough. 426 00:38:33,688 --> 00:38:37,353 - I can always dye my hair. - No dice, Dollface. You're a client. 427 00:38:37,484 --> 00:38:42,561 That's one thing I've learned about clients. Dead ones don't pay their bills. 428 00:38:46,701 --> 00:38:48,990 Is that all you think of me? 429 00:38:49,120 --> 00:38:51,492 Someone who pays you $10 a day? 430 00:38:57,837 --> 00:39:01,289 That's right, Dollface. To me you're just a meal ticket. 431 00:39:03,718 --> 00:39:06,007 How could I tell her that I was lying? 432 00:39:06,137 --> 00:39:10,135 I'd work for nothing just to watch her hair bounce as she walked... 433 00:39:10,266 --> 00:39:14,015 Smell her creamy skin, cradle her head on my shoulder. 434 00:39:14,688 --> 00:39:18,139 Feel the slope of her waist, the curve of her back... 435 00:39:18,274 --> 00:39:21,359 And then gently caress her two beautiful... 436 00:39:26,991 --> 00:39:29,399 I'm sorry. 437 00:39:29,536 --> 00:39:32,655 I just don't like being called a meal ticket. 438 00:39:47,929 --> 00:39:52,306 As I started my search for a blonde spy, I tried to get rid of the image of Juliet... 439 00:39:52,434 --> 00:39:56,348 Storming out of my office with toothpaste on her shoes. 440 00:39:58,064 --> 00:40:02,228 First on my list was Monica Stillpond, a bombshell who once told me... 441 00:40:02,360 --> 00:40:06,903 She would do anything for anybody anywhere at any time. 442 00:40:09,117 --> 00:40:11,738 MAN: But muscle gave me my start in politics. 443 00:40:11,870 --> 00:40:15,203 It was when I was assistant to old man Zimmerman, the plumber. 444 00:40:15,331 --> 00:40:19,163 - WOMAN: Mr Madvig, you're joking. - About the plumbing, or the muscle? 445 00:40:19,294 --> 00:40:21,832 I just can't imagine you as a plumber. 446 00:40:22,339 --> 00:40:24,664 She was in the middle of a fancy dinner party. 447 00:40:24,799 --> 00:40:28,844 But I couldn't waste time being polite. I caught her attention. 448 00:40:32,140 --> 00:40:35,841 Coffee will be served in the living room, Mr Madvig. 449 00:40:37,062 --> 00:40:42,269 One thing about Monica: The words "I can't" weren't in her vocabulary. 450 00:40:42,400 --> 00:40:44,891 Monica, I want you to do something for me. 451 00:40:45,028 --> 00:40:47,104 I can't. 452 00:40:47,238 --> 00:40:51,022 I guess she had added them since the last time I'd seen her. 453 00:40:52,410 --> 00:40:56,028 The next one on my list was Doris Devermont, an old flame of mine. 454 00:40:56,164 --> 00:40:59,829 With her I'd had the most honest relationship I'd ever had with a woman. 455 00:40:59,959 --> 00:41:04,538 The only thing I'd lied about was my name. I'd told her I was Teddy Novak... 456 00:41:04,673 --> 00:41:08,172 So she couldn't track me down if I got her pregnant. 457 00:41:15,433 --> 00:41:17,556 Doris remembered me, naturally. 458 00:41:17,686 --> 00:41:19,643 How do you do, Mr Novak? 459 00:41:19,771 --> 00:41:25,014 Mr Novak? No hugs, no kisses? We used to flop into each other's arms, Doris. 460 00:41:25,151 --> 00:41:29,196 Well, don't you think we really ought to get to know each other all over again? 461 00:41:29,322 --> 00:41:33,901 It's only been five years. You were about to serve me dinner when I had to leave. 462 00:41:34,035 --> 00:41:36,407 How stupid of me. You must be famished. 463 00:41:36,538 --> 00:41:40,535 I should have thought of it sooner. I'll get some coffee and sandwiches. 464 00:41:41,835 --> 00:41:44,242 Coffee and sandwiches. 465 00:41:44,379 --> 00:41:47,546 Now I remembered Doris's famous stale-bread sandwiches. 466 00:41:48,425 --> 00:41:53,383 She'd buy day-old bread, then toast it to cover up. I wonder if she's changed. 467 00:41:53,513 --> 00:41:56,384 The bread's none too fresh. Shall I toast it? 468 00:41:57,225 --> 00:42:00,179 No, thanks. I gave up stale toast for Lent. 469 00:42:00,645 --> 00:42:03,219 - Lent? - Nothing. 470 00:42:03,982 --> 00:42:05,974 Same old Doris. 471 00:42:06,109 --> 00:42:09,193 She used to get smoked turkey so it would keep for months. 472 00:42:09,320 --> 00:42:12,072 When it finally went bad, she'd feed it to the maid. 473 00:42:12,198 --> 00:42:16,148 I had some smoked turkey. I guess the cleaning woman had it for her lunch. 474 00:42:16,286 --> 00:42:18,528 Oh, here's some pâté. 475 00:42:21,041 --> 00:42:23,282 Cleaning woman. 476 00:42:25,962 --> 00:42:28,204 Cleaning woman. 477 00:42:28,757 --> 00:42:30,998 Cleaning woman! 478 00:42:31,384 --> 00:42:34,551 Cleaning woman! Cleaning woman! 479 00:42:35,055 --> 00:42:37,380 Cleaning woman! Cleaning woman! 480 00:42:53,156 --> 00:42:54,319 Sorry. 481 00:42:57,369 --> 00:43:02,363 I was too embarrassed to ask Doris for a favour after I'd tried to strangle her... 482 00:43:02,499 --> 00:43:05,950 So I went to the next name in my little black book. 483 00:43:06,086 --> 00:43:10,878 The blondest one on my list was a rich society dame named Jimmi Sue Altfeld. 484 00:43:11,007 --> 00:43:15,799 I almost hated to use her - she was so in love with me, it nearly made me sick. 485 00:43:15,929 --> 00:43:18,336 But business was more important. 486 00:43:18,473 --> 00:43:21,474 I wined her and dined her at the Plantation Club. 487 00:43:21,601 --> 00:43:23,843 Then I made my move. 488 00:43:25,021 --> 00:43:29,648 Last time we saw each other, I left you alone sitting at a counter at Schwab's. 489 00:43:30,443 --> 00:43:33,646 - You don't hate me for that, do you? - Of course I don't. 490 00:43:33,988 --> 00:43:35,696 Good... 491 00:43:35,824 --> 00:43:38,493 I'd like to discuss something with you. 492 00:43:40,620 --> 00:43:42,364 - Where to? - Take me home. 493 00:43:43,540 --> 00:43:46,790 There was no way I was gonna take her home. Her father hated me. 494 00:43:46,918 --> 00:43:51,212 So I told her to meet me at a motel and I'd show her something with my hands. 495 00:44:19,034 --> 00:44:20,611 (KNOCKING) 496 00:44:23,747 --> 00:44:25,988 Come in. 497 00:44:30,378 --> 00:44:32,252 Well, Jimmi Sue, you ready? 498 00:44:33,173 --> 00:44:35,580 What are we going to do? 499 00:44:36,343 --> 00:44:38,798 Kinsey from cover to cover. 500 00:44:54,569 --> 00:44:59,148 Has anyone ever told you that your lips are like two succulent Brussels sprouts... 501 00:44:59,282 --> 00:45:03,410 - ...waiting to be buttered and bitten? - Plenty of men have. 502 00:45:04,329 --> 00:45:06,571 Really? 503 00:45:07,791 --> 00:45:09,582 Have these men ever told you... 504 00:45:09,709 --> 00:45:14,585 that your eyes are like Chinese coins with dollops of caviar in the center? 505 00:45:14,714 --> 00:45:17,205 Can't you see how happy you and I would be here? 506 00:45:17,342 --> 00:45:21,803 Yes, I do. But I want you to come back to the city with me first. 507 00:45:21,930 --> 00:45:27,386 I'm working on an important case. It's dangerous, and you'll probably be killed. 508 00:45:27,519 --> 00:45:30,888 - But if you love me, you'll do it. - Yes, I do love you. 509 00:45:31,022 --> 00:45:36,527 And I love you. And I mean that more than anything I've ever said in my life. 510 00:45:47,872 --> 00:45:52,748 I rented an apartment and started giving Jimmi instructions on how to pump Neff. 511 00:45:52,877 --> 00:45:55,914 She took direction like a pig takes to garbage. 512 00:45:56,047 --> 00:45:58,123 Here's a picture of our Mr Neff. 513 00:45:58,258 --> 00:46:00,927 Do, uh, whatever you have to... 514 00:46:01,052 --> 00:46:03,757 To find out what happened on the Immer Essen. 515 00:46:03,888 --> 00:46:07,471 Your father threatened to have me beat up if I continue to see ya. 516 00:46:07,600 --> 00:46:11,266 Thought I'd drop over there tomorrow with a little peace offering. 517 00:46:11,730 --> 00:46:13,769 What could I take that'd soften him up? 518 00:46:13,898 --> 00:46:16,354 He never had a dog when he was a boy. 519 00:46:17,235 --> 00:46:19,477 Never had a dog, huh? 520 00:46:29,456 --> 00:46:31,413 Mr Altfeld? 521 00:46:32,792 --> 00:46:35,164 (WHIMPERS) 522 00:46:35,295 --> 00:46:37,667 Totally house-broken. 523 00:46:38,548 --> 00:46:41,300 His name is... Ramon. 524 00:46:41,676 --> 00:46:43,918 He's yours. 525 00:46:49,768 --> 00:46:52,223 Get out, thief! 526 00:46:52,354 --> 00:46:57,099 I'm not stealing your daughter. I'm just borrowing her for an important case. 527 00:46:57,650 --> 00:47:02,989 Don't go near my daughter. Don't try to see her. Don't write and don't phone. 528 00:47:03,114 --> 00:47:05,819 Can I use her underwear to make soup? 529 00:47:05,950 --> 00:47:08,441 - Get out! - Mr Altfeld... 530 00:47:08,578 --> 00:47:11,662 By helping me, your daughter's life is in danger. 531 00:47:11,790 --> 00:47:15,455 But she may save hundreds of lives. You wouldn't stand in the way of that. 532 00:47:15,585 --> 00:47:17,625 Why certainly I would! 533 00:47:17,921 --> 00:47:22,464 I'd frame you or kill you... if it would protect my daughter. 534 00:47:23,301 --> 00:47:27,548 And I brought you a puppy, something you never had as a boy. 535 00:47:27,681 --> 00:47:29,922 Now get out! 536 00:47:30,558 --> 00:47:33,014 Come on, Ramon. 537 00:47:35,313 --> 00:47:37,389 You don't deserve a puppy. 538 00:47:39,234 --> 00:47:41,025 Wait! 539 00:47:42,278 --> 00:47:44,520 Pick that up. 540 00:47:45,907 --> 00:47:49,110 - But it's all soft and steamy. - Pick that up! 541 00:47:52,163 --> 00:47:54,619 You're a sick man, Altfeld. 542 00:48:02,173 --> 00:48:06,919 You can make me pick up dog dirt, but you can't stop me seeing Jimmi Sue. 543 00:48:13,810 --> 00:48:16,266 - You want a puppy? - I'd love a dog. 544 00:48:17,272 --> 00:48:19,015 Thank you. 545 00:48:19,149 --> 00:48:22,352 - Here's something for you, too. - Oh, thank you. 546 00:48:24,446 --> 00:48:25,525 SECRETARY: Eugh! 547 00:48:31,161 --> 00:48:33,568 Well, Larry, Moe and Curly. 548 00:48:38,126 --> 00:48:40,498 Thanks, Dan. 549 00:48:40,628 --> 00:48:43,546 Not a nice way to treat a friend of Mr Altfeld's daughter. 550 00:48:43,673 --> 00:48:45,832 There's only one way to treat you. 551 00:48:50,138 --> 00:48:52,427 You got some pretty smart monkeys here. 552 00:48:54,893 --> 00:48:58,392 I notice this one's wearing a Phi Beta Kappa key here. 553 00:49:00,273 --> 00:49:01,222 (UNZIPS HIS FLIES) 554 00:49:01,358 --> 00:49:04,857 - Ow! - Your move. 555 00:49:04,986 --> 00:49:07,524 I'm gonna have some sense beaten into you. 556 00:49:08,365 --> 00:49:12,694 What's he payin' you boys? I'll double it and we'll beat the shit outta him. 557 00:49:12,827 --> 00:49:15,069 All right, Dan. 558 00:49:56,746 --> 00:49:58,786 Rigby? 559 00:50:01,292 --> 00:50:03,332 Rigby? 560 00:50:06,256 --> 00:50:08,295 Rigby? 561 00:50:33,616 --> 00:50:35,574 Juliet! 562 00:50:35,702 --> 00:50:39,320 Those dirty bastards! Beating up a woman. 563 00:50:42,167 --> 00:50:45,002 They even knocked your breasts out of whack. 564 00:50:45,920 --> 00:50:47,960 Rigby? 565 00:50:48,798 --> 00:50:51,468 Juliet... Are you all right? 566 00:50:51,968 --> 00:50:53,593 Oh! 567 00:50:53,720 --> 00:50:55,759 Yes, I'm fine. 568 00:50:57,098 --> 00:51:00,183 - You look awful. - It's all in a day's work. 569 00:51:01,269 --> 00:51:04,187 No, Rigby. It's not worth it. 570 00:51:05,940 --> 00:51:09,274 - I want you to quit. - Why? Because I've been roughed up? 571 00:51:09,402 --> 00:51:12,107 You've also been shot and drugged... 572 00:51:12,781 --> 00:51:15,865 And probably had to go to bed with women you didn't know. 573 00:51:15,992 --> 00:51:19,491 You're just upset about me interviewing blondes. 574 00:51:19,621 --> 00:51:21,946 You can forget about it. 575 00:51:35,053 --> 00:51:38,137 I've decided to get the information myself. 576 00:51:40,183 --> 00:51:42,223 How? 577 00:51:44,145 --> 00:51:46,553 By disguising myself as a beautiful blonde. 578 00:52:11,589 --> 00:52:14,507 - Do I look like a dame? - Not as much as I do. 579 00:52:14,968 --> 00:52:19,131 - I haven't turned on the charm yet. - Rigby, I wish you'd let me go instead. 580 00:52:19,264 --> 00:52:22,181 Have Neff try and feel you up? No chance, Dollface. 581 00:52:22,308 --> 00:52:25,060 Oh. You don't want Mr Neff to feel me up? 582 00:52:25,186 --> 00:52:28,555 That doesn't mean you're beginning to... care for me, does it? 583 00:52:28,690 --> 00:52:31,525 I don't want any of my clients felt up. 584 00:52:31,818 --> 00:52:37,061 I'm late. Neff cruises supermarkets every Thursday looking for blondes. 585 00:52:37,198 --> 00:52:39,654 If I'm half the woman I think I am... 586 00:52:39,784 --> 00:52:42,454 I'll have a date with Neff by tonight. 587 00:52:43,496 --> 00:52:45,785 Good luck. 588 00:52:46,666 --> 00:52:50,331 Neff's favourite hunting ground was Jerry's Market on Melrose. 589 00:52:50,462 --> 00:52:54,294 I spotted him right away and sidled down the aisle opposite him. 590 00:52:54,424 --> 00:52:57,627 I was wearing a special perfume called "Fondle Me". 591 00:52:57,761 --> 00:53:01,593 Its aroma drew Neff to me like fat to a mother-in-law. 592 00:53:04,851 --> 00:53:09,015 He was a ladies' man, all right. He made me feel beautiful, alive. 593 00:53:09,939 --> 00:53:13,439 He asked me up to his place, and I didn't play hard to get. 594 00:53:13,568 --> 00:53:15,810 All right. 595 00:53:17,364 --> 00:53:21,693 On his home ground, Neff was more aggressive and I played along. 596 00:53:24,621 --> 00:53:29,247 - I'm crazy about you, baby. - I'm crazy about you too, Walter. 597 00:53:29,376 --> 00:53:31,617 That perfume. What's the name of it? 598 00:53:31,753 --> 00:53:33,544 "Fondle Me". 599 00:53:33,672 --> 00:53:35,711 Silly! 600 00:53:36,299 --> 00:53:38,541 That's the name of the perfume. 601 00:53:39,636 --> 00:53:42,921 - I feel like a drink. - All I've got is bourbon. 602 00:53:43,431 --> 00:53:45,673 I'll make the drinks. 603 00:53:49,312 --> 00:53:51,554 Sit over there. 604 00:54:04,494 --> 00:54:09,322 I wanted to knock him out fast. I slipped him 15 milligrams of Aphrodisiamil... 605 00:54:09,457 --> 00:54:13,537 And hoped it would take effect before he tried to pick my lock. 606 00:54:25,098 --> 00:54:27,137 (SNORING) 607 00:54:28,977 --> 00:54:32,180 Sorry, Walter. That's as far as I go on a first date. 608 00:55:14,773 --> 00:55:18,189 I didn't know what I was looking for, but what I found was dynamite. 609 00:55:18,318 --> 00:55:22,018 The passenger list of the Immer Essen's final cruise. 610 00:55:23,740 --> 00:55:26,112 It was the same as the Carlotta "Enemies" list. 611 00:55:26,242 --> 00:55:27,986 (GRUNTS) 612 00:55:28,119 --> 00:55:32,069 One name rang a bell. Cody Jarrett, captain of the Immer Essen. 613 00:55:32,207 --> 00:55:37,367 I went to the public library and looked up everything I could on Captain Jarrett. 614 00:55:38,797 --> 00:55:41,632 "Framed Because He Knew Too Much." 615 00:55:41,758 --> 00:55:45,921 "But He Refuses to Divulge What He Knew to Anyone but His Mother." 616 00:55:46,888 --> 00:55:50,838 I hoped to find out why the passengers on the Immer Essen's final cruise... 617 00:55:50,975 --> 00:55:53,431 Were being knocked off one by one. 618 00:55:53,561 --> 00:55:56,812 They all must have seen something. But what? 619 00:55:58,233 --> 00:55:59,431 What do you think? 620 00:55:59,567 --> 00:56:02,319 I think you enjoy dressing up as a woman. 621 00:56:02,445 --> 00:56:05,482 Jarrett's mother's the only visitor he'll talk to. 622 00:56:05,615 --> 00:56:09,743 And I think I look enough like her to get a gift on Mother's Day. 623 00:56:22,257 --> 00:56:24,296 Rigby, wait! 624 00:56:25,593 --> 00:56:27,882 Don't... don't call me Rigby. 625 00:56:28,763 --> 00:56:31,052 I'm worried. Since you were beaten up... 626 00:56:31,182 --> 00:56:35,560 I've had nightmares about something awful happening to you. 627 00:56:35,687 --> 00:56:38,142 I care about you, Rigby. 628 00:56:40,108 --> 00:56:42,350 What? 629 00:56:42,485 --> 00:56:44,727 I care about you. 630 00:56:47,949 --> 00:56:50,191 What's the matter? 631 00:56:50,326 --> 00:56:52,734 You. You're the matter. 632 00:56:53,413 --> 00:56:56,533 Did... did I... do something wrong? 633 00:56:57,000 --> 00:57:00,333 Yeah. You crept into my gut. 634 00:57:00,462 --> 00:57:04,459 You've got me thinking silly thoughts, like... hanging up my gun for good. 635 00:57:04,591 --> 00:57:07,212 Becoming a one-woman guy. 636 00:57:07,344 --> 00:57:10,629 Settling down in an ivy-covered cottage... 637 00:57:10,764 --> 00:57:12,887 Raking leaves out of the backyard... 638 00:57:13,016 --> 00:57:15,507 Squeezing orange juice for you in the morning. 639 00:57:15,643 --> 00:57:17,766 You'd do that for me? 640 00:57:20,565 --> 00:57:22,937 - Yeah, I would. - Oh, Rigby. 641 00:57:58,603 --> 00:58:00,845 Cody Jarrett's mother. 642 00:58:10,365 --> 00:58:12,274 Hello, Ma. 643 00:58:13,118 --> 00:58:15,869 My name is Reardon. I have important news for you. 644 00:58:15,995 --> 00:58:18,284 So just pretend I'm your ma, OK? 645 00:58:18,415 --> 00:58:22,827 The paper said you were hit in the head by a flying wrench in the machine shop. 646 00:58:22,961 --> 00:58:25,997 Friends of Carlotta are after you because you know too much. 647 00:58:26,131 --> 00:58:29,665 - I see what you mean. - So the flying wrench was no accident. 648 00:58:29,801 --> 00:58:31,710 For a minute I thought it was. 649 00:58:31,845 --> 00:58:34,799 Something like that may happen again, so... 650 00:58:35,640 --> 00:58:38,131 The guard looks suspicious. Act like I'm your ma. 651 00:58:38,268 --> 00:58:41,352 - Sure. - Pretend I'm crying. You comfort me. 652 00:58:45,483 --> 00:58:47,108 Relax, Ma. 653 00:58:49,779 --> 00:58:53,065 Say something like, uh, "No, no, Ma. Look, listen to me." 654 00:58:53,199 --> 00:58:55,951 No, no, Ma. Look, listen to me. 655 00:58:57,162 --> 00:58:59,700 That was good. Real good. 656 00:59:00,415 --> 00:59:03,250 Look, as long as the other prisoners can get to you... 657 00:59:03,376 --> 00:59:06,081 You're not safe. But don't worry, I have a plan. 658 00:59:06,212 --> 00:59:08,750 I contacted Warden Dudley, who owed me a favour. 659 00:59:08,882 --> 00:59:13,010 I asked him to let me pose as a prisoner so I could keep an eye on Jarrett... 660 00:59:13,136 --> 00:59:15,342 Maybe learn something about Carlotta. 661 00:59:15,472 --> 00:59:19,172 I learned fast. Jarrett had a prison break planned that very night. 662 00:59:19,309 --> 00:59:23,887 I was invited along... at gunpoint. When they stuffed me in the trunk... 663 00:59:24,022 --> 00:59:27,770 I realised he was a friend of Carlotta, and I was their enemy. 664 00:59:28,860 --> 00:59:32,359 Ryley, you get in the front. And you, you drive. 665 00:59:33,698 --> 00:59:36,272 I bounced along in that trunk a long time. 666 00:59:36,409 --> 00:59:41,652 Five hours later, I had given up hope of ever going to a regular bathroom again. 667 00:59:42,123 --> 00:59:44,994 I decided to have a little chat with Captain Jarrett. 668 00:59:45,126 --> 00:59:47,582 RIGBY: Hey, Cody! 669 00:59:52,884 --> 00:59:55,553 - How ya doin', partner? - I can't breathe. 670 00:59:55,679 --> 00:59:57,718 Oh. Stuffy, huh? 671 00:59:57,889 --> 01:00:00,345 - I'll give you a little air. - Thanks. 672 01:00:08,274 --> 01:00:13,150 Her lips were warm, and my arm wasn't the only thing that was throbbing. 673 01:00:13,279 --> 01:00:15,605 Our hearts were, too. 674 01:00:15,740 --> 01:00:19,074 My plan was to kiss her with every lip on my face... 675 01:00:19,744 --> 01:00:24,157 Then slowly move her to the next room, maneuver her next to the bed... 676 01:00:24,833 --> 01:00:27,917 Marry her, and start the whoopee machine. 677 01:00:28,837 --> 01:00:30,876 My plan was working fine until... 678 01:00:31,006 --> 01:00:34,090 Agh! You stuck your finger in my bullet hole. 679 01:00:34,217 --> 01:00:36,673 - Sorry, Rigby. - I'll be all right. 680 01:00:38,680 --> 01:00:40,672 Why don't you lie down? 681 01:00:40,807 --> 01:00:44,721 I'll go to the drugstore and get you something for your arm. 682 01:00:46,479 --> 01:00:49,149 It's raining too hard. Call a cab. Hurry back. 683 01:00:49,274 --> 01:00:51,563 I feel like kissing somebody. 684 01:00:51,693 --> 01:00:54,100 Don't start without me. 685 01:01:01,202 --> 01:01:02,613 (THUNDER) 686 01:01:02,746 --> 01:01:04,537 - (RINGS) - Hello? 687 01:01:04,664 --> 01:01:06,324 - It's me, Margaret. - Who? 688 01:01:06,458 --> 01:01:08,249 - Margaret. - Margaret? 689 01:01:08,376 --> 01:01:10,950 Margaret Croyden. 690 01:01:11,087 --> 01:01:14,005 Margaret Croyden? I don't believe it! 691 01:01:15,091 --> 01:01:18,128 - I don't believe you'd call me. - I'd have called sooner... 692 01:01:18,261 --> 01:01:20,717 - You shouldn't call at all. - It's so quiet here. 693 01:01:20,847 --> 01:01:23,801 Oh, Victor's gone for the weekend, huh? 694 01:01:23,933 --> 01:01:26,341 Sorry. Not interested. 695 01:01:28,480 --> 01:01:32,347 Because I'm in love. Yeah, really in love. 696 01:01:35,278 --> 01:01:39,358 A few days ago I said something to a woman I thought I'd never say. 697 01:01:39,741 --> 01:01:43,988 I actually said "I want to settle down in an ivy-covered cottage with you..." 698 01:01:44,120 --> 01:01:46,611 Rake leaves out of the backyard... 699 01:01:46,748 --> 01:01:49,951 "... squeeze orange juice for you in the morning." 700 01:01:50,085 --> 01:01:53,204 MARGARET: I spoke to Victor. He'll give me the divorce. 701 01:01:53,338 --> 01:01:56,873 I'll tell you what. Come down tomorrow. We'll drive back together. 702 01:01:57,008 --> 01:02:02,003 RIGBY: Wonderful! I can't wait to come bouncing back into your life again. 703 01:02:05,642 --> 01:02:08,263 No dice, Margaret. Call me in another 12 years. 704 01:02:08,395 --> 01:02:10,636 All right, darling. 705 01:02:39,092 --> 01:02:41,381 (PHONE RINGS) 706 01:02:47,100 --> 01:02:49,093 - Hello? - JULIET: Mr Reardon... 707 01:02:49,227 --> 01:02:52,181 I have decided to close this case as of this moment. 708 01:02:52,313 --> 01:02:55,682 A check will be in the mail for you tomorrow. 709 01:02:55,817 --> 01:02:59,566 Please do not try to contact me as I will be out of town for some time. 710 01:03:00,071 --> 01:03:02,942 Juliet, has someone got a gun to your head? 711 01:03:03,783 --> 01:03:05,242 Juliet! 712 01:03:09,289 --> 01:03:11,708 A half-bottle of bourbon later I still couldn't believe it. 713 01:03:11,750 --> 01:03:13,956 Was Juliet crazy like her sister? 714 01:03:14,085 --> 01:03:18,498 Had she fallen in love with the cab driver on the way to the drugstore? 715 01:03:18,631 --> 01:03:22,712 Or was she a member of the Carlotta conspiracy and had set me up? 716 01:03:22,844 --> 01:03:26,213 Finally, I arrived at a very important conclusion. 717 01:03:26,890 --> 01:03:29,132 Shit on her! 718 01:03:42,030 --> 01:03:44,485 All dames are alike. 719 01:03:46,034 --> 01:03:49,533 They reach down your throat, grab your heart... and pull it out. 720 01:03:49,662 --> 01:03:54,324 They throw it on the floor... and they step on it with their high heels. 721 01:03:55,001 --> 01:03:59,129 They spit on it, shove it in the oven, then cook the shit out of it. 722 01:04:00,715 --> 01:04:03,882 They slice it into little pieces, slam it on a hunk of toast... 723 01:04:04,010 --> 01:04:06,466 And they serve it to ya. 724 01:04:06,596 --> 01:04:10,297 They expect you to say "Thanks, honey, it's delicious." 725 01:04:13,186 --> 01:04:16,389 Well, it's not delicious, Juliet Forrest. 726 01:04:16,523 --> 01:04:18,765 It's rotten. 727 01:04:19,275 --> 01:04:21,849 I don't give a damn if I ever hear from you again. 728 01:04:21,986 --> 01:04:24,228 (PHONE RINGS) 729 01:04:28,118 --> 01:04:29,778 - Juliet? - This is Alan. 730 01:04:29,911 --> 01:04:32,034 Alan? 731 01:04:32,706 --> 01:04:36,620 - Come on, Marlowe, no games. - I never could fool you, could I? 732 01:04:38,044 --> 01:04:40,120 No. 733 01:04:40,255 --> 01:04:42,164 Listen, Marlowe. 734 01:04:42,590 --> 01:04:44,963 Juliet left me, and... 735 01:04:46,136 --> 01:04:48,887 I feel like I've been hit with a wet frying pan. 736 01:04:49,014 --> 01:04:51,090 How the hell do you pick up the pieces? 737 01:04:51,224 --> 01:04:55,174 I'm beginning to realise it's better to have something to look forward to. 738 01:04:55,311 --> 01:04:58,265 "Look forward to." Like what? Work? 739 01:04:58,398 --> 01:05:00,307 I can't get a break on this case. 740 01:05:00,442 --> 01:05:03,063 I don't even know who the hell this Carlotta dame is. 741 01:05:03,194 --> 01:05:05,650 Can you get a map of South America? 742 01:05:05,780 --> 01:05:08,354 - Yeah. You got something? - Look up Peru. 743 01:05:12,787 --> 01:05:13,653 Got it! 744 01:05:13,788 --> 01:05:16,659 There's a little town on the coast called Paita. 745 01:05:16,791 --> 01:05:19,199 Tell me where it is. 746 01:05:21,296 --> 01:05:24,380 It's right next to a tiny little island called... 747 01:05:24,507 --> 01:05:27,711 You son of a gun! Carlotta! 748 01:05:28,845 --> 01:05:31,217 Damn! It's not a woman's name. 749 01:05:32,140 --> 01:05:34,548 It's a place. 750 01:05:34,684 --> 01:05:37,306 - Thanks, Marlowe. I owe ya. - Good. 751 01:05:37,437 --> 01:05:40,438 I'm leaving for Carlotta right now. 752 01:05:40,565 --> 01:05:43,899 Even if Juliet's gone, I'm gonna solve this case... 753 01:05:44,027 --> 01:05:48,107 No matter how many killers are involved, even if Juliet's one of 'em. 754 01:05:48,239 --> 01:05:50,909 Any idea where in Carlotta I should start looking? 755 01:05:51,034 --> 01:05:53,655 There's a little café right on the bay. 756 01:05:55,038 --> 01:06:00,163 When I arrived, I thought of the words Marlowe had said to me 15 years ago: 757 01:06:01,169 --> 01:06:03,494 "Dead men don't wear plaid." 758 01:06:04,172 --> 01:06:05,880 Huh! 759 01:06:06,007 --> 01:06:08,332 Dead men don't wear plaid. 760 01:06:09,678 --> 01:06:12,299 I still don't know what it means. 761 01:06:13,390 --> 01:06:17,470 Carlotta was the kind of town where they spell trouble T-R-U-B-I-L... 762 01:06:17,602 --> 01:06:20,888 and if you try to correct them, they kill you. 763 01:06:28,154 --> 01:06:30,194 (APPLAUSE) 764 01:06:35,829 --> 01:06:37,905 I knew Marlowe had steered me right. 765 01:06:38,039 --> 01:06:41,871 There was Kitty Collins, the girl who ditched me in Santa Barbara. 766 01:06:44,170 --> 01:06:46,496 Señor Reardon. 767 01:06:51,761 --> 01:06:54,003 Manuel Alesandro. 768 01:06:57,434 --> 01:06:59,343 Not quite. 769 01:06:59,477 --> 01:07:01,434 Carlos Rodriguez. 770 01:07:03,857 --> 01:07:05,766 - Carlos Rodriguez? - Sí. 771 01:07:06,151 --> 01:07:10,528 Before the war... we ran guns to the rebels. 772 01:07:12,198 --> 01:07:14,025 Oh, yeah. 773 01:07:14,659 --> 01:07:16,568 You're a cop. 774 01:07:16,703 --> 01:07:18,612 Sí, sí, sí. 775 01:07:18,747 --> 01:07:21,072 I have joined the establishment. 776 01:07:22,584 --> 01:07:27,495 That's good, Carlos. I'm here on an investigation. Maybe you can help me. 777 01:07:27,630 --> 01:07:30,168 There is much to investigate in Carlotta. 778 01:07:30,967 --> 01:07:33,672 The whole island is like a powder keg. 779 01:07:33,803 --> 01:07:38,015 There is much tension, the... the smell of something rotten. 780 01:07:39,225 --> 01:07:43,140 That's what I'm here for. To find out what it is that smells. 781 01:07:43,271 --> 01:07:44,849 Psst! 782 01:07:44,981 --> 01:07:49,358 Be careful of the, uh, fat one who sweats a lot. 783 01:07:51,905 --> 01:07:53,280 What about Kitty Collins? 784 01:07:53,406 --> 01:07:56,740 She doesn't sweat as much, but she's just as dangerous. 785 01:07:56,868 --> 01:07:59,240 ♪ What you want 786 01:07:59,371 --> 01:08:01,410 ♪ Everybody wants 787 01:08:05,752 --> 01:08:08,207 They say she is one of them. 788 01:08:09,005 --> 01:08:11,413 Who is... "them"? 789 01:08:12,092 --> 01:08:15,591 Nobody knows. Only they know who is "them". 790 01:08:16,471 --> 01:08:20,220 But there is a man. His name is Arroz. Rice. 791 01:08:21,893 --> 01:08:24,384 Kitty Collins is in love with him. 792 01:08:25,146 --> 01:08:27,472 He is a killer. 793 01:08:27,607 --> 01:08:29,896 - Rice, huh? - Uh-huh. 794 01:08:30,694 --> 01:08:33,185 - Thanks, Carlos. - De nada, señor. 795 01:08:35,323 --> 01:08:38,360 - Where are you staying? - Hotel Guano. 796 01:08:38,493 --> 01:08:41,328 Ha! I'll be in touch. 797 01:08:41,454 --> 01:08:43,910 Cuidado, Señor Reardon. 798 01:08:44,040 --> 01:08:47,623 Cuidado, Carlos... Cuidado. 799 01:08:47,752 --> 01:08:51,204 I wanted Kitty Collins to tell "them" I was in town... 800 01:08:51,339 --> 01:08:54,673 So I tossed a five-pesetaria coin into the bowl. 801 01:08:54,926 --> 01:08:57,927 The clank was loud enough to make her look my way. 802 01:08:58,263 --> 01:09:02,426 That five-pesetaria coin was the best investment I ever made. 803 01:09:02,559 --> 01:09:07,719 The next day, I hooked a big fish: A fat one who sweats a lot. 804 01:09:10,233 --> 01:09:13,982 - Señor? - Nothing alcoholic. Oh, a beer, maybe. 805 01:09:14,446 --> 01:09:16,106 Sí, señor. 806 01:09:16,990 --> 01:09:19,445 Hard liquor goes to my feet. 807 01:09:22,120 --> 01:09:25,204 - (COINS CLATTER) - Just a minute, Mr Rigby. 808 01:09:26,082 --> 01:09:28,620 We know who you are, Mr Rigby. 809 01:09:28,752 --> 01:09:30,709 I'm interested. Who am I? 810 01:09:30,837 --> 01:09:34,123 You could be a guy who collects $10,000... 811 01:09:34,799 --> 01:09:36,958 Just to leave this stinkin' town. 812 01:09:37,093 --> 01:09:39,763 - I could, could I? - You know who I could be? 813 01:09:41,806 --> 01:09:44,013 Hunchback of Notre Dame? 814 01:09:44,142 --> 01:09:48,638 I could be the guy who hands ya... them $10,000. 815 01:09:49,564 --> 01:09:53,182 $10,000. Me to you... just like that. 816 01:09:53,318 --> 01:09:57,565 Sorry. My price for leaving stinking towns is 11,500... 817 01:09:57,697 --> 01:10:00,484 And a kiss on the lips from Carmen Miranda. 818 01:10:00,617 --> 01:10:04,484 Pass it on to "them". Room 204. 819 01:10:05,705 --> 01:10:07,413 Room 204, señora. 820 01:10:17,550 --> 01:10:19,377 Come in. 821 01:10:21,221 --> 01:10:24,222 Right on time, Kitty. Been expecting ya. 822 01:10:24,349 --> 01:10:26,591 Thought you'd come last night. 823 01:10:26,726 --> 01:10:29,846 - I wasn't thinking too well last night. - Keep talking. 824 01:10:29,979 --> 01:10:32,815 You see, I just found out something, Rigby. 825 01:10:33,692 --> 01:10:37,689 Who you are, what you do, and why you're in Carlotta. 826 01:10:37,821 --> 01:10:40,276 I'm here to bust up your game. 827 01:10:43,326 --> 01:10:48,154 I don't get it. A class girl like you in love with a killer like Rice. 828 01:10:48,289 --> 01:10:50,911 Who... what... why? 829 01:10:51,042 --> 01:10:53,082 When you love someone... 830 01:10:53,211 --> 01:10:57,458 I guess it doesn't make any difference who, what or why. 831 01:10:57,590 --> 01:11:00,046 You go right on loving them. 832 01:11:02,178 --> 01:11:04,420 Yeah, you do, don't ya? 833 01:11:05,306 --> 01:11:07,762 - I feel as if... - (PHONE RINGS) 834 01:11:12,355 --> 01:11:15,226 Make me another drink, will you, baby? 835 01:11:19,946 --> 01:11:21,903 Hello? 836 01:11:22,032 --> 01:11:24,523 - What's up, amigo? - Plenty. 837 01:11:25,201 --> 01:11:28,535 A plane arrived today, and all the passengers spoke German. 838 01:11:28,663 --> 01:11:32,115 - German? - Mm-hm. Our friend Rice was there. 839 01:11:32,250 --> 01:11:35,334 They gave him a packet. It was marked today's date... 840 01:11:35,462 --> 01:11:38,000 - ...and "Final Instructions". - How do you know? 841 01:11:38,131 --> 01:11:43,042 I was hired to protect Rice until he gets on that plane with Kitty Collins... 842 01:11:43,178 --> 01:11:45,751 Tonight after the Carlotta Festival. 843 01:11:46,806 --> 01:11:48,633 Why are you telling me this? 844 01:11:48,767 --> 01:11:51,721 Because the lives of millions of innocent p... 845 01:11:51,853 --> 01:11:54,225 Carlos? Carlos! 846 01:11:55,357 --> 01:11:57,396 Carlos! 847 01:11:57,525 --> 01:11:59,565 Damn. 848 01:12:06,576 --> 01:12:08,984 Where are you and Rice headed tonight? 849 01:12:09,371 --> 01:12:12,241 What do you know about a plane with Germermans on it? 850 01:12:12,374 --> 01:12:14,413 Germerm... Germans. 851 01:12:15,293 --> 01:12:17,333 Germermans. 852 01:12:18,296 --> 01:12:21,665 There's a plane with mermans on it. 853 01:12:23,510 --> 01:12:25,835 The plane's in town. 854 01:12:27,138 --> 01:12:29,380 Ethel Merman came in on it. 855 01:12:35,438 --> 01:12:37,976 Wanna go see Ethel Merman with me? 856 01:12:39,526 --> 01:12:41,768 I'll buy two tickets. 857 01:12:41,903 --> 01:12:45,237 Let me get on my pajamas, I'll be ready to go. 858 01:12:46,950 --> 01:12:49,108 I'd done some brilliant things in my time. 859 01:12:49,244 --> 01:12:53,158 Asking Kitty Collins to mix me a drink wasn't one of them. 860 01:12:54,833 --> 01:12:58,913 When I came to, I could make out only light and shadow at first. 861 01:12:59,045 --> 01:13:02,331 Then I saw an unfamiliar face. But even in my stupor... 862 01:13:02,465 --> 01:13:06,629 I knew he was one of the big fish in the conspiracy: Rice! 863 01:13:06,761 --> 01:13:09,050 Well, I believe that about winds things up. 864 01:13:09,556 --> 01:13:13,221 - I'm gonna wind you up on a rope. - But you're the one who's gonna die. 865 01:13:13,351 --> 01:13:18,262 Better make it look good. If anything fishy happens to me, the FBI... 866 01:13:18,398 --> 01:13:19,940 It'll look very natural. 867 01:13:20,066 --> 01:13:24,230 People who know Rigby Reardon know I'd never die a natural death. 868 01:13:26,281 --> 01:13:28,487 Do you think I'd leave you around to talk?! 869 01:13:28,616 --> 01:13:30,823 You've already talked too much! 870 01:13:31,661 --> 01:13:32,776 (MUFFLED SHOUTING) 871 01:13:38,084 --> 01:13:40,160 Hold it, Rice! 872 01:13:40,670 --> 01:13:44,039 You're not getting on that plane tonight. I want those papers. 873 01:13:44,174 --> 01:13:47,258 I'm gonna walk out of this room. You won't shoot. 874 01:13:47,385 --> 01:13:49,627 I won't? 875 01:13:50,638 --> 01:13:55,099 That was a warning shot, Rice. And I don't fire as many of 'em as I used to. 876 01:14:08,531 --> 01:14:10,654 Rigby! Señor! 877 01:14:10,784 --> 01:14:12,823 - I heard shots. - I'm all right. 878 01:14:12,952 --> 01:14:15,241 - Rice went that way. - Come on, Carlos! 879 01:14:15,372 --> 01:14:19,203 Are you wearing pajamas? Señor, I'll help you take them off. 880 01:14:20,835 --> 01:14:23,540 I don't need help with my pajamas! Stop! 881 01:14:23,672 --> 01:14:25,545 - Sí. - Carlos! 882 01:14:25,674 --> 01:14:30,134 Sí. Don't worry about your pajamas, señor. I'll take care of them. 883 01:14:30,261 --> 01:14:33,428 CARLOS: Out of the way! We are chasing a killer! 884 01:14:33,556 --> 01:14:36,012 Everybody stand back! He's with me. 885 01:14:38,061 --> 01:14:40,184 Coming through! 886 01:14:41,981 --> 01:14:43,725 Señor! 887 01:14:43,858 --> 01:14:45,898 Cuidado, señor. Cuidado! 888 01:14:47,153 --> 01:14:49,823 - CARLOS: Stand back! - RIGBY: Cuidado! 889 01:14:51,449 --> 01:14:53,608 Señor! Your pajamas! 890 01:14:53,743 --> 01:14:56,317 Forget the pajamas! 891 01:14:59,541 --> 01:15:01,617 - Are you all right? - It's just a bullet. 892 01:15:01,751 --> 01:15:05,251 My wife Carmelita will suck it out. Go ahead, señor. 893 01:15:06,006 --> 01:15:10,217 And don't worry about your pajamas. I'll take care of them! 894 01:15:58,433 --> 01:16:00,675 "Final Instructions". 895 01:16:06,900 --> 01:16:09,521 So that's their game. 896 01:16:18,495 --> 01:16:20,736 "Rasmussen Place". 897 01:16:41,518 --> 01:16:45,765 The last thing I expected to see was Juliet and her father, alive... 898 01:16:45,897 --> 01:16:49,895 Talking with their butler, who was dressed in a Nazi uniform. 899 01:16:50,026 --> 01:16:52,564 Yeah. That explained a lot. 900 01:16:52,696 --> 01:16:56,111 Why Juliet was able to translate German, for one thing. 901 01:16:56,241 --> 01:16:58,529 I'd been played for a sucker. 902 01:16:58,660 --> 01:17:01,744 But it wasn't too late to set things straight. 903 01:17:07,002 --> 01:17:08,875 Yaaah! 904 01:17:11,214 --> 01:17:14,085 OK, hands in the air. Over on the steps. Let's go! 905 01:17:14,217 --> 01:17:18,049 It's time for a class picture. Tall ones in back, short ones in front. 906 01:17:18,346 --> 01:17:20,802 Now sit! Hold hands. 907 01:17:22,017 --> 01:17:24,258 Now smile. 908 01:17:24,728 --> 01:17:26,138 - That's nice. - Rigby... 909 01:17:26,271 --> 01:17:29,556 Hold it! Stay where you are, you dirty, lying Nazi scum. 910 01:17:29,691 --> 01:17:30,971 Rigby! 911 01:17:31,109 --> 01:17:34,359 I should have known. I fell for a dame who played me for a sucker. 912 01:17:34,487 --> 01:17:37,025 No, Mr Reardon. She did not play you for a sucker. 913 01:17:37,157 --> 01:17:43,112 I did. Pretending to be a butler, waiting on inferior races was galling to me. 914 01:17:43,246 --> 01:17:47,291 - But I fooled everyone. - You see, Rigby? I didn't betray you. 915 01:17:47,417 --> 01:17:50,453 - How did you know to come here? - Marlowe told me. 916 01:17:50,587 --> 01:17:53,671 That's how I found Daddy. I smelled his cheese molds. 917 01:17:53,798 --> 01:17:56,170 I am sorry to interrupt such a tender scene... 918 01:17:56,301 --> 01:17:58,756 But we have a plan to carry out now. 919 01:17:59,137 --> 01:18:03,217 - Who are you really, kraut? - Field Marshal Wilfred von Kluck. 920 01:18:03,350 --> 01:18:05,722 - At your service. - Von Kluck? 921 01:18:05,852 --> 01:18:08,770 Former chief of Hitler's Special Secret Weapons Corps. 922 01:18:08,897 --> 01:18:11,435 I'm flattered. How did you know? 923 01:18:11,566 --> 01:18:14,022 I figured out your whole stinking scheme. 924 01:18:14,152 --> 01:18:18,066 How you duped Dr Forrest into helping you. How you flew in your agents! 925 01:18:18,198 --> 01:18:21,068 The finest officers in the Führer's army. 926 01:18:21,659 --> 01:18:25,194 - Former army. - For the moment. 927 01:18:25,330 --> 01:18:27,239 But we shall rise again. 928 01:18:27,374 --> 01:18:30,410 - We'll see about that. - How did they use Daddy? 929 01:18:30,543 --> 01:18:34,292 Bullet-head here found out your father had developed a cheese mold... 930 01:18:34,422 --> 01:18:37,957 So powerful it could decompose rocks, trees and mountains. 931 01:18:38,093 --> 01:18:41,296 He devised a plan to dissolve the entire United States. 932 01:18:41,429 --> 01:18:44,715 At first your father gave this swine information because... 933 01:18:44,849 --> 01:18:48,514 Please, Mr Reardon. Allow me to tell the story. 934 01:18:48,978 --> 01:18:51,220 - Your father went along... - Mr Reardon. 935 01:18:51,356 --> 01:18:55,852 It is customary in these situations for the developer of the plan to describe it. 936 01:18:55,985 --> 01:19:01,062 I beg your pardon. It's customary for the private eye to tell how he figured it out. 937 01:19:01,199 --> 01:19:03,026 No, it is my right! 938 01:19:03,159 --> 01:19:06,943 We were able to dupe Dr Forrest by posing as a humanitarian organization... 939 01:19:07,080 --> 01:19:10,330 who planned to wipe out hunger by aging cheese faster. 940 01:19:10,458 --> 01:19:14,586 - When he saw what they were doing... - He assembled lists of our agents... 941 01:19:14,713 --> 01:19:19,540 - And seemed about to go to the FBI... - We had to drug him and bring him... 942 01:19:19,676 --> 01:19:22,760 Here, faking his death so there'd be no investigation... 943 01:19:22,887 --> 01:19:25,924 But while testing the mold on a small island nearby... 944 01:19:26,057 --> 01:19:30,102 The Immer Essen passed by. Some of the passengers saw the island dissolve... 945 01:19:30,228 --> 01:19:32,897 They were therefore labeled "enemies". 946 01:19:33,023 --> 01:19:35,478 We had Neff cancel all further tours, and our... 947 01:19:35,608 --> 01:19:39,820 Friends systematically began to eliminate everyone on that cruise ship! 948 01:19:39,946 --> 01:19:42,402 - Schweinehund! - Jerk! 949 01:19:45,035 --> 01:19:46,778 Now... 950 01:19:47,787 --> 01:19:50,824 We are ready. Our agents have just returned... 951 01:19:50,957 --> 01:19:53,875 After planting cheese bombs throughout America. 952 01:19:54,002 --> 01:19:57,453 With America destroyed, we will win the next war. 953 01:19:57,589 --> 01:19:59,297 And the one after that, too! 954 01:19:59,424 --> 01:20:03,753 When these switches are thrown, your meddling country will disintegrate... 955 01:20:03,887 --> 01:20:05,879 Like a moldy hunk of Liederkranz! 956 01:20:06,014 --> 01:20:09,299 Hold the mold, Kluck. Those switches aren't going to be thrown. 957 01:20:09,434 --> 01:20:13,218 Und I think they will be. 958 01:20:13,355 --> 01:20:15,394 Halt ihn! 959 01:20:18,777 --> 01:20:21,778 Good... good. 960 01:20:23,239 --> 01:20:26,822 I'm sorry to prevent your becoming a hero, Herr Reardon. 961 01:20:26,951 --> 01:20:30,403 Actually, it is too bad you and I are on opposite sides. 962 01:20:30,705 --> 01:20:34,240 I admire your tenacity. Under different circumstances... 963 01:20:34,376 --> 01:20:39,832 I might have even allowed you to live, perhaps as my, uh... valet, or butler. 964 01:20:40,965 --> 01:20:44,251 And what would you have me become, Herr Field Marshal? 965 01:20:44,386 --> 01:20:46,177 - What? - I said... 966 01:20:46,304 --> 01:20:50,468 What position could I hold in your "New Order"? 967 01:20:50,600 --> 01:20:53,803 Juliet! What are you saying? He's a Nazi! Don't beg a Nazi! 968 01:20:53,937 --> 01:20:56,510 Would I be your... Reinemachefrau? 969 01:20:56,648 --> 01:20:59,815 Ja, you could, uh... you could be that. 970 01:20:59,943 --> 01:21:02,860 - What is that? What is it?! - JULIET: Tell him. 971 01:21:02,987 --> 01:21:05,858 - Reinemachefrau. - Rrrreinemachefrau. 972 01:21:07,575 --> 01:21:12,072 It means she could be my... cleaning woman. 973 01:21:12,455 --> 01:21:14,662 Cleaning woman! 974 01:21:24,718 --> 01:21:26,959 All right, join your pals. Let's go! Move it! 975 01:21:27,095 --> 01:21:30,464 Great work, Juliet. Go find Carlos Rodriguez for me. 976 01:21:30,598 --> 01:21:31,927 All right. 977 01:21:32,058 --> 01:21:35,095 Your having that gun won't stop us, Herr Reardon. 978 01:21:35,228 --> 01:21:38,846 We are a dedicated people, willing to sacrifice ourselves! 979 01:21:38,982 --> 01:21:42,766 There are only six bullets in that gun. There are nine of us. 980 01:21:42,902 --> 01:21:46,734 Thus at least three will survive to throw those switches. 981 01:21:46,865 --> 01:21:49,866 OK. But who's going to win the lottery... 982 01:21:49,993 --> 01:21:52,566 And who's going to lose? 983 01:21:54,831 --> 01:21:58,165 Cowards! Fools! 984 01:21:59,002 --> 01:22:01,041 I'll do it myself! 985 01:22:01,171 --> 01:22:02,831 Sorry, pal. You're through. 986 01:22:08,970 --> 01:22:11,639 Not... quite. 987 01:22:15,977 --> 01:22:18,017 At least... we got... 988 01:22:18,688 --> 01:22:22,900 Terre Haute, India... na. 989 01:22:24,152 --> 01:22:27,438 Damn! They were just about to get a public library. 990 01:22:28,239 --> 01:22:30,315 Carlos, lock these creeps up. 991 01:22:30,450 --> 01:22:32,359 With pleasure! 992 01:22:32,494 --> 01:22:35,827 OK, creeps. ¡ Vámonos! Let's go! 993 01:22:36,748 --> 01:22:38,906 Schweinehunds! Pig dogs! 994 01:22:39,376 --> 01:22:43,504 I pity the Devil the day you boys start arriving in bunches. 995 01:22:47,133 --> 01:22:50,337 Señor Reardon, when will you be leaving Carlotta? 996 01:22:51,221 --> 01:22:53,260 - Next plane out, Carlos. - Aha! 997 01:22:53,390 --> 01:22:57,090 That gives me four hours to wash and press your pajamas. 998 01:22:57,727 --> 01:22:59,767 No, thanks, Carlos. 999 01:23:00,438 --> 01:23:03,108 I don't think I'll be needing my pajamas any more. 1000 01:23:09,239 --> 01:23:11,481 What a guy! 1001 01:23:24,754 --> 01:23:26,581 What are you... doing? 1002 01:23:26,715 --> 01:23:28,624 Adjusting your willie. 1003 01:23:28,758 --> 01:23:32,803 When you fell through the window, it shifted out of whack. 1004 01:23:32,929 --> 01:23:35,254 - Thanks. - You're welcome. 1005 01:23:36,850 --> 01:23:40,550 I hadn't had my willie adjusted like that in a long time... 1006 01:23:41,229 --> 01:23:43,850 Especially without having to beg. 1007 01:23:44,733 --> 01:23:47,306 So there it was... the Carlotta mystery... 1008 01:23:47,444 --> 01:23:50,148 All wrapped up in a neat little bundle. 1009 01:23:50,613 --> 01:23:54,611 As I stood there kissing Juliet, I thought of nothing but hanging up my gun... 1010 01:23:54,743 --> 01:23:58,575 and spending the rest of my days in that ivy-covered cottage. 1011 01:23:58,705 --> 01:24:01,706 Little did I realise that less than a year later... 1012 01:24:01,833 --> 01:24:04,917 She and I would have an even more exciting adventure... 1013 01:24:05,045 --> 01:24:08,248 Which is coming soon to your neighbourhood theater... 1014 01:24:08,381 --> 01:24:11,051 With a possible nude scene by Juliet.