1 00:00:00,036 --> 00:00:01,996 Dude, if it's two holes, it might not be that bad. 2 00:00:02,079 --> 00:00:03,789 - Shotgun anus. - Forget it! 3 00:00:03,873 --> 00:00:05,791 I don't want our balls rubbing against each other. 4 00:00:05,833 --> 00:00:07,710 - What, are you kidding? - No way! Forget it. 5 00:00:07,793 --> 00:00:09,503 How about blow jobs? Can we have blow jobs? 6 00:00:14,842 --> 00:00:16,469 Well, okay. 7 00:00:19,430 --> 00:00:20,556 Come here. 8 00:00:20,640 --> 00:00:23,309 Okay. I'm going up there. 9 00:00:23,392 --> 00:00:24,685 I wanna come, too. 10 00:00:24,769 --> 00:00:28,314 - Think you could help me with this? - You need help? 11 00:00:29,649 --> 00:00:32,526 Okay, yeah. It's a little sticky there. 12 00:00:32,610 --> 00:00:34,695 - You can do it. - Okay. 13 00:00:34,779 --> 00:00:36,572 I can do it. I can do it. 14 00:00:50,711 --> 00:00:52,672 Do you wanna play with them? 15 00:00:52,713 --> 00:00:53,714 Play with them. 16 00:00:55,299 --> 00:00:57,843 - Yeah, let's do that. - Okay. 17 00:00:57,927 --> 00:00:59,804 Let's do that. 18 00:01:01,847 --> 00:01:04,850 Well, boys, I fixed your tire. 19 00:01:08,020 --> 00:01:09,355 Hi, honey. 20 00:01:09,438 --> 00:01:12,858 What in the hell are you doing with my wife? 21 00:01:13,859 --> 00:01:16,946 You said outside that we could have sex with her. 22 00:01:17,029 --> 00:01:18,280 Shit! Shit! 23 00:01:18,364 --> 00:01:21,242 - I most certainly did not. - Yeah, you did. 24 00:01:21,325 --> 00:01:22,702 - I did not! - You did. 25 00:01:22,785 --> 00:01:24,829 - Oh, no, I didn't! - You did, you did. 26 00:01:26,539 --> 00:01:28,958 - You sure? - You said it. 27 00:01:33,462 --> 00:01:34,463 My mistake! 28 00:01:34,547 --> 00:01:36,048 Freakshow. 29 00:01:36,132 --> 00:01:39,218 Well, since we're all here... 30 00:01:40,052 --> 00:01:42,054 ...how about a foursome? 31 00:01:42,138 --> 00:01:44,056 Who wants the first reach-around? 32 00:01:52,606 --> 00:01:55,067 Okay, let's agree to never talk about what just happened. 33 00:01:55,151 --> 00:01:56,235 Agreed. 34 00:01:56,319 --> 00:01:59,238 That's a very good idea. 35 00:01:59,322 --> 00:02:01,073 Dude, I have no idea where we are. 36 00:02:01,157 --> 00:02:02,450 What? 37 00:02:04,035 --> 00:02:05,453 - Is that a hitchhiker? - What the hell? 38 00:02:05,536 --> 00:02:07,913 - Should we pick him up? - And get chopped to bits? Are you crazy? 39 00:02:07,997 --> 00:02:10,333 You know what? We're lost. He may know how to get back on the highway. 40 00:02:10,416 --> 00:02:12,877 Get back on the road. This is my car. 41 00:02:12,960 --> 00:02:14,628 We are not picking up a hitchhiker, man. 42 00:02:14,712 --> 00:02:17,423 Hey, guys, thanks for picking me up. 43 00:02:21,344 --> 00:02:24,013 Excuse me, are you Neil Patrick Harris? 44 00:02:24,096 --> 00:02:25,056 Yep. 45 00:02:25,139 --> 00:02:27,183 - Oh, my God, what are you doing here? - Holy shit. 46 00:02:27,266 --> 00:02:29,185 Dude, Doogie Howser M. D. Was, like, my favorite show growing up. 47 00:02:29,268 --> 00:02:30,227 You were my idol. 48 00:02:30,311 --> 00:02:32,563 That's great. Could we get going? I'm bored as shit back here. 49 00:02:33,230 --> 00:02:35,858 - Go, go. - Let's go. This is a frickin' boring spot. 50 00:02:43,282 --> 00:02:45,993 So I gotta ask you, Neil, 51 00:02:46,077 --> 00:02:48,245 did you ever get it on with Wanda off the set? 52 00:02:48,329 --> 00:02:50,915 Dude, I humped every piece of ass ever on that show. 53 00:02:50,998 --> 00:02:52,708 Even the chick who played the hot nurse? 54 00:02:53,793 --> 00:02:57,672 No. I didn't go all the way with her. 55 00:03:01,050 --> 00:03:02,218 Neil, you wouldn't happen to know 56 00:03:02,301 --> 00:03:03,636 how to get on the highway from here, would you? 57 00:03:03,678 --> 00:03:05,805 Dude, I don't even know where the fuck I am right now. 58 00:03:05,888 --> 00:03:07,139 I was at this party earlier tonight 59 00:03:07,223 --> 00:03:09,934 and some guy hooked me up with this incredible X. 60 00:03:10,017 --> 00:03:12,603 The next thing I know, I'm being thrown out of a moving car. 61 00:03:12,687 --> 00:03:16,065 - I've been tripping balls ever since. - That's crazy, dude. 62 00:03:16,148 --> 00:03:17,566 We've been having a pretty crazy night, too. 63 00:03:17,650 --> 00:03:19,402 We've just been driving around looking for White Castle, 64 00:03:19,485 --> 00:03:20,820 but we keep getting sidetracked. 65 00:03:20,903 --> 00:03:21,946 Yeah, dude, you fascinate me. 66 00:03:22,029 --> 00:03:23,990 Forget White Castle. Let's go get some pussy. 67 00:03:24,073 --> 00:03:26,367 - Huh? - It's a fuckin' sausage-fest in here. 68 00:03:26,450 --> 00:03:28,828 Let's get us some poontang. Then we'll go to White Castle. 69 00:03:28,911 --> 00:03:29,954 No, Neil, you don't understand. 70 00:03:30,037 --> 00:03:31,998 We've been craving these burgers all night. 71 00:03:32,039 --> 00:03:34,375 Yeah, I've been craving burgers, too... fur burgers. 72 00:03:34,458 --> 00:03:37,503 Come on, dudes, let's pick up some trim at a strip club. 73 00:03:37,586 --> 00:03:40,006 The Doogie line always works on strippers. 74 00:03:40,089 --> 00:03:42,842 Lap dance. 75 00:03:43,634 --> 00:03:46,512 There's a gas station. I'm gonna see if we can get directions. 76 00:03:46,595 --> 00:03:48,556 We don't need... 77 00:03:50,558 --> 00:03:54,186 Hurry up, dudes, hurry up. I'm losing wood. 78 00:03:58,024 --> 00:04:00,860 Hurry, hurry, hurry, hurry, hurry, hurry. 79 00:04:00,901 --> 00:04:02,862 - Chill. - We'll be right back, Neil. 80 00:04:02,945 --> 00:04:04,238 We'll be back. 81 00:04:10,369 --> 00:04:13,497 What's the deal with Neil Patrick Harris? Why is he so horny? 82 00:04:13,539 --> 00:04:16,667 I don't know, but we can't let him interfere with our quest. 83 00:04:18,210 --> 00:04:21,422 - Oh, God. - Shit, these punks again. 84 00:04:21,505 --> 00:04:23,132 Late-night Math League meeting, homos? 85 00:04:23,215 --> 00:04:24,884 Extreme! 86 00:04:28,095 --> 00:04:29,347 Let's go. 87 00:04:39,190 --> 00:04:42,193 No, no. Pies, pies... no. 88 00:04:48,407 --> 00:04:49,784 Dude, what is that? Is that a pterodactyl? 89 00:04:49,867 --> 00:04:51,243 I do not know what that is. 90 00:04:51,327 --> 00:04:53,245 That was extreme, dude! 91 00:04:53,329 --> 00:04:56,499 Excuse me, can you tell us how to get to the highway from here? 92 00:04:56,582 --> 00:04:57,708 Dude, I got this. 93 00:05:09,512 --> 00:05:12,014 Dude, who knew learning Hindi would actually pay off? 94 00:05:12,098 --> 00:05:14,141 Guy says the highway is, like, a couple traffic lights from here. 95 00:05:14,225 --> 00:05:16,143 We should be in Cherry Hill in ten minutes. 96 00:05:16,227 --> 00:05:18,354 - Ready? One, two, three! - No. No. 97 00:05:18,437 --> 00:05:20,523 - No. - Extreme kayaking! 98 00:05:20,606 --> 00:05:22,066 No! 99 00:05:24,652 --> 00:05:25,945 Extreme! 100 00:05:31,117 --> 00:05:33,452 - No! - Man, that was so fuckin' extreme! 101 00:05:34,161 --> 00:05:35,830 On a scale of 1 to 10, 102 00:05:35,913 --> 00:05:38,874 one being not so extreme and ten being extremely extreme, 103 00:05:38,958 --> 00:05:40,918 I give this a 9.5! 104 00:05:42,461 --> 00:05:44,630 - Check it out! - Extreme cheddar! 105 00:05:50,469 --> 00:05:52,972 - Hey. - Extreme cashier! 106 00:05:54,390 --> 00:05:55,474 Somebody should do something. 107 00:05:57,184 --> 00:05:58,602 Yeah, you're right. 108 00:05:58,644 --> 00:06:01,272 Hey, asshole! Why don't you leave that guy alone 109 00:06:01,355 --> 00:06:03,607 and go jerk off to some snowboarding videos or something? 110 00:06:06,986 --> 00:06:08,863 I didn't mean you should do something about it. 111 00:06:20,666 --> 00:06:22,501 What? You're gonna take that? 112 00:06:22,585 --> 00:06:25,463 What's up with that? Huh? 113 00:06:25,504 --> 00:06:27,256 You're gonna take that? 114 00:06:28,674 --> 00:06:29,717 - Yeah! - Yeah! 115 00:06:29,800 --> 00:06:31,218 - Shit! - That's right, bitch! 116 00:06:31,302 --> 00:06:33,721 You just try fuckin' with me one more time! 117 00:06:33,804 --> 00:06:36,349 Just try it! Thank you, come again. 118 00:06:39,352 --> 00:06:40,394 - Yeah! - Yeah! 119 00:06:41,937 --> 00:06:43,939 Kumar, you okay? 120 00:06:44,023 --> 00:06:46,025 Yeah, dude, I just hate those assholes. 121 00:06:46,108 --> 00:06:48,027 You know what? Fuck it, I'm hungry. Let's just get outta here. 122 00:07:02,541 --> 00:07:05,503 Did Doogie Howser just steal my fucking car? 123 00:07:09,006 --> 00:07:11,884 Yes. I think he did. 124 00:07:27,775 --> 00:07:30,528 You! You had to pick up a hitchhiker! Why?! 125 00:07:30,569 --> 00:07:31,570 Calm down. 126 00:07:31,654 --> 00:07:33,072 Why did you leave the keys in the car? 127 00:07:33,155 --> 00:07:34,699 Why? Because it would get stolen. 128 00:07:34,782 --> 00:07:37,702 I figured that Neil Patrick Harris was a trustworthy guy. 129 00:07:37,743 --> 00:07:39,537 Come on. How was I supposed to know he'd fuck us over? 130 00:07:39,578 --> 00:07:42,415 This whole freaking night, this whole night, is your fault! 131 00:07:44,250 --> 00:07:47,086 - Where are you going? - I'm going inside to call the police. 132 00:07:47,169 --> 00:07:49,213 I don't want to talk to you anymore. 133 00:07:51,966 --> 00:07:54,135 - Yeah! - Yeah! 134 00:07:54,218 --> 00:07:56,012 There's a pay phone across the street 135 00:07:56,095 --> 00:07:58,180 if you don't wanna deal with those assholes. 136 00:08:11,861 --> 00:08:15,573 After we talk to the cops, we're still going to White Castle, right? 137 00:08:15,656 --> 00:08:18,075 I'm not speaking to you. 138 00:08:18,117 --> 00:08:21,203 When are they fucking going to develop button technology 139 00:08:21,287 --> 00:08:22,747 that will understand urgency?! 140 00:08:22,830 --> 00:08:26,167 - Dude, this is ridiculous. Just walk across. - It'll change in a second. 141 00:08:26,250 --> 00:08:27,918 There's not a car in sight. Just go ahead. 142 00:08:27,960 --> 00:08:31,172 Fine. You want me to cross? I will cross. 143 00:08:31,255 --> 00:08:33,632 If it makes you happy, I will cross. 144 00:08:34,675 --> 00:08:35,760 I'll do it. 145 00:08:40,931 --> 00:08:42,266 Shit! 146 00:08:42,350 --> 00:08:44,977 - What... - Sorry. 147 00:08:48,189 --> 00:08:50,775 Is there a problem, Officer Palumbo? 148 00:08:50,816 --> 00:08:53,027 Is there a problem? You ever heard of jaywalking? 149 00:08:53,110 --> 00:08:54,862 Yes, I have. I'm really sorry. Won't happen again. 150 00:08:54,945 --> 00:08:56,947 That's great. I'm writing you up a ticket. 151 00:08:57,031 --> 00:08:58,449 A ticket? Are you serious? 152 00:08:58,491 --> 00:09:00,493 Who the fuck are you, shitwad? 153 00:09:00,534 --> 00:09:03,120 Let me apologize for my friend here. I'm very sorry. 154 00:09:03,204 --> 00:09:05,122 I'm really glad you're here. We've had a rough night. 155 00:09:05,164 --> 00:09:06,957 You know the show Doogie Howser M. D.? 156 00:09:06,999 --> 00:09:10,294 Great show. God, I love that show. "Doogie." 157 00:09:10,378 --> 00:09:12,838 Neil Patrick Harris stole my car tonight. 158 00:09:12,922 --> 00:09:15,091 Hey, NPH wouldn't do that, all right? 159 00:09:15,174 --> 00:09:16,467 Give me some I.D. 160 00:09:16,550 --> 00:09:18,886 Excuse me, how can you give him a ticket for jaywalking? 161 00:09:18,970 --> 00:09:22,431 It's 2:30 in the morning. There's not a car around here. 162 00:09:22,515 --> 00:09:23,641 Kumar, shut up. 163 00:09:23,724 --> 00:09:24,976 That's not the kind of tone you want to use 164 00:09:25,059 --> 00:09:26,560 on a cop who can bust your ass. 165 00:09:26,644 --> 00:09:29,230 - Bust my ass? - Yeah, Koo-mar. 166 00:09:29,313 --> 00:09:31,816 Bust your ass. 167 00:09:31,899 --> 00:09:34,568 What kind of name is that anyhow? Koo-mar. 168 00:09:34,652 --> 00:09:37,238 What is that, like, five O's or two U's? 169 00:09:37,321 --> 00:09:38,948 No, it's actually one U. 170 00:09:39,031 --> 00:09:40,491 Yeah, bullshit. 171 00:09:40,574 --> 00:09:44,036 Whatever happened to good old American names like Dave or Jim? 172 00:09:44,078 --> 00:09:45,705 - Harold. - Harold. 173 00:09:45,788 --> 00:09:47,456 - Are you kidd... - Now that's a great name. 174 00:09:47,540 --> 00:09:49,083 - Let me take care of this. - You should be proud of that name, son. 175 00:09:49,166 --> 00:09:50,835 As you were, ladies. 176 00:09:51,919 --> 00:09:55,047 - $220?! Are you crazy?! - Kumar, if you don't stop... 177 00:09:55,131 --> 00:09:57,466 No, I understand exactly what's going on here. 178 00:09:57,550 --> 00:10:00,344 Excuse me, officer, let me take a couple of guesses. 179 00:10:00,386 --> 00:10:02,388 - I'm really sorry... - Get your hands down! 180 00:10:02,430 --> 00:10:04,682 - Okay, alright. - No sudden moves. Back it up! 181 00:10:04,724 --> 00:10:07,018 You were probably the big asshole in your high school, right? 182 00:10:07,101 --> 00:10:08,269 Absolutely right. 183 00:10:08,352 --> 00:10:09,895 Used to pick on guys like us every day, right? 184 00:10:09,979 --> 00:10:11,022 With pleasure. 185 00:10:11,105 --> 00:10:13,357 Then graduation day came, and we went to college, 186 00:10:13,399 --> 00:10:15,067 and you went nowhere, and you thought, 187 00:10:15,151 --> 00:10:16,861 "Hey, how can I still give them shit? 188 00:10:16,944 --> 00:10:18,571 I know, I'll become a cop." 189 00:10:18,654 --> 00:10:21,532 Well, congratu-fuckin'-lations. Your dream has come true. 190 00:10:21,615 --> 00:10:23,743 Now, why don't you just take this quiet little Asian guy 191 00:10:23,826 --> 00:10:25,953 with the Anglicized name that treats you so well 192 00:10:26,037 --> 00:10:27,413 and give him a couple of other tickets? 193 00:10:27,496 --> 00:10:29,248 - Better yet, just take him to jail. - Better idea. 194 00:10:29,332 --> 00:10:31,292 Why don't you just arrest him? Does that work out for you okay, Harold? 195 00:10:31,375 --> 00:10:32,585 - "Great American name, Harold." - Let's go, Harold. 196 00:10:32,668 --> 00:10:34,587 Thanks to your buddy, we're going downtow... 197 00:10:40,051 --> 00:10:41,385 Oh, shit. 198 00:10:42,428 --> 00:10:47,058 Well, thank you so much for being understanding about Bradley. 199 00:10:47,141 --> 00:10:49,727 I promise you he won't ever do it again. 200 00:10:49,810 --> 00:10:51,479 I'm sure he won't. 201 00:10:52,229 --> 00:10:53,939 Right, Brad? 202 00:10:54,023 --> 00:10:55,900 Yes, sir, Officer Palumbo, sir. 203 00:10:55,983 --> 00:11:00,071 - Mommy, can we go home? - Get in the car, Bradley Thomas. 204 00:11:00,112 --> 00:11:01,155 Bye, Brad. 205 00:11:01,238 --> 00:11:03,240 Are you gonna do something about my car? 206 00:11:03,949 --> 00:11:05,284 First our top story. 207 00:11:05,368 --> 00:11:08,371 The search for the escaped cheetah continues tonight. 208 00:11:08,454 --> 00:11:11,457 It was last spotted in Randolph County. South of... 209 00:11:12,625 --> 00:11:15,836 - So what are you in here for? - For being black. 210 00:11:16,545 --> 00:11:17,546 Seriously. 211 00:11:18,172 --> 00:11:20,716 I am serious. You wanna know what happened? 212 00:11:22,051 --> 00:11:24,553 I was walking out of a Barnes & Noble, 213 00:11:24,637 --> 00:11:26,013 and a cop stops me. 214 00:11:26,097 --> 00:11:29,433 Evidently a black guy robbed a store in Newark. 215 00:11:29,517 --> 00:11:33,104 I told him, "I haven't even been to Newark in months." 216 00:11:33,187 --> 00:11:34,897 So, he starts beating me with his gun... 217 00:11:34,981 --> 00:11:37,274 ...telling me to stop resisting arrest. - Holy shit! What'd you do? 218 00:11:37,316 --> 00:11:39,610 I kept saying, "I understand I'm under arrest. 219 00:11:39,652 --> 00:11:41,779 Now please stop beating me." 220 00:11:41,821 --> 00:11:44,198 I don't understand how you can be so calm about all this. 221 00:11:44,281 --> 00:11:48,285 Look at me. I'm fat, black, can't dance, 222 00:11:48,369 --> 00:11:49,996 and I have two gay fathers. 223 00:11:50,913 --> 00:11:53,749 People have been messing with me my whole life. 224 00:11:53,833 --> 00:11:57,586 I learned a long time ago that there's no sense getting all riled up 225 00:11:57,670 --> 00:12:00,047 every time a bunch of idiots give you a hard time. 226 00:12:00,798 --> 00:12:04,969 In the end, the universe tends to unfold as it should. 227 00:12:06,470 --> 00:12:08,848 Plus I have a really large penis. That keeps me happy. 228 00:12:10,057 --> 00:12:11,142 Hey, hey, listen up, guys! 229 00:12:11,225 --> 00:12:12,685 Multiple gunshots fired in Millbrook Park. 230 00:12:12,768 --> 00:12:14,979 Finally, some action. I'm goin'! 231 00:12:15,021 --> 00:12:17,106 - No, I'm goin'! - Lock and load! 232 00:12:25,239 --> 00:12:26,240 That was strange. 233 00:12:29,577 --> 00:12:31,746 What the hell was that? 234 00:12:31,829 --> 00:12:33,998 Rold. Is that you? 235 00:12:34,081 --> 00:12:36,208 - Kumar? - Are the cops still here? 236 00:12:36,292 --> 00:12:37,626 What the hell are you doing? 237 00:12:37,710 --> 00:12:40,212 I just called and made up some story about a shooting in Millbrook Park. 238 00:12:40,296 --> 00:12:42,381 - Jesus Christ, what'd you do that for? - I'm fucking starving. 239 00:12:42,465 --> 00:12:45,176 I figured I'd bust you out and we'd go get some burgers. 240 00:12:45,217 --> 00:12:47,595 Forget it. I'm not getting into any more trouble. 241 00:12:47,678 --> 00:12:49,347 I'm already in here because of you. 242 00:12:49,388 --> 00:12:50,389 Hey, fuck you! 243 00:12:50,473 --> 00:12:52,767 What did you want me to do, stand there and take the hit? 244 00:12:52,850 --> 00:12:54,352 You know I've never taken a swing at you, ever. 245 00:12:54,435 --> 00:12:55,686 Well, I never got your car stolen. 246 00:12:55,770 --> 00:12:57,063 - Fine. I'm leaving. - Fine. 247 00:13:00,858 --> 00:13:04,695 - Harold, how do I get out of here? - How the hell should I know? 248 00:13:04,779 --> 00:13:06,864 Shit! Oh, God, this isn't good. 249 00:13:13,829 --> 00:13:15,539 My ass! 250 00:13:19,085 --> 00:13:21,420 Sure you don't want to get out of here? 251 00:13:21,504 --> 00:13:23,422 And become a fugitive? Are you nuts? 252 00:13:23,506 --> 00:13:25,841 - The guy has all my information. - So what? 253 00:13:25,925 --> 00:13:27,802 We'll just take what he wrote down about you and leave. 254 00:13:27,885 --> 00:13:29,303 Unless you want to stay here all night 255 00:13:29,387 --> 00:13:31,347 and not be able to turn in your work tomorrow. 256 00:13:35,851 --> 00:13:37,061 Fine, hurry up. 257 00:13:37,103 --> 00:13:40,022 Yes! All right, we gotta find keys. 258 00:13:40,106 --> 00:13:42,400 Oh, yes! 259 00:13:42,441 --> 00:13:44,610 Sweet! I was hoping it would be one of these big ring of keys. 260 00:13:44,694 --> 00:13:47,113 - Kumar, hurry the fuck up. - All right, yeah. 261 00:13:53,619 --> 00:13:54,912 - Yes! - Dude! 262 00:13:57,164 --> 00:13:59,792 - Hey, what's that smell? - What smell? 263 00:14:00,793 --> 00:14:02,086 Kumar. 264 00:14:15,933 --> 00:14:19,979 If we still have time. We might still get by 265 00:14:20,062 --> 00:14:23,774 Every time I think about it I wanna cry 266 00:14:23,816 --> 00:14:27,528 With bombs and the devil. And the kids keep comin' 267 00:14:27,611 --> 00:14:32,325 No way to breathe easy. No time to be young 268 00:14:34,243 --> 00:14:38,456 But I tell myself that I'm doin' all right 269 00:14:38,539 --> 00:14:41,584 There's nothin' left to do at night 270 00:14:41,667 --> 00:14:44,628 But go crazy on you 271 00:14:45,963 --> 00:14:48,883 Crazy on you 272 00:14:48,966 --> 00:14:53,137 Let me go crazy. Crazy on you 273 00:14:54,639 --> 00:14:57,642 Crazy on you 274 00:14:57,725 --> 00:15:01,646 Bitch! Learn how to fuckin' make coffee, you fuckin' whore! 275 00:15:01,729 --> 00:15:03,981 Let me go crazy. Crazy on you 276 00:15:04,065 --> 00:15:05,608 I love you. 277 00:15:06,192 --> 00:15:07,860 No, no, no. 278 00:15:08,694 --> 00:15:10,613 No, baby, come on. 279 00:15:11,864 --> 00:15:14,825 Hey, Kumar. Kumar! Where are you... 280 00:15:14,909 --> 00:15:17,036 Kumar! Still in jail, asshole! 281 00:15:17,119 --> 00:15:18,412 Come here! 282 00:15:22,208 --> 00:15:23,209 Kumar! The cops... 283 00:15:23,292 --> 00:15:25,211 You thought you'd get away with it, huh? 284 00:15:25,294 --> 00:15:28,005 I was in bed. I didn't fire any gun. I swear. 285 00:15:29,256 --> 00:15:31,550 Hey, Jackson's trying to escape! 286 00:15:31,634 --> 00:15:33,678 What are you talking about? I'm just sitting here. 287 00:15:33,761 --> 00:15:34,887 He's trying to break free! Get him! 288 00:15:34,971 --> 00:15:37,390 - Aw, shit. - Don't move! 289 00:15:39,308 --> 00:15:41,560 Stop resisting! We need backup now! 290 00:15:41,644 --> 00:15:43,521 - He's got a gun. - That's not a gun, that's a book. 291 00:15:43,562 --> 00:15:45,523 - Secure the book! - Book is secure. 292 00:15:45,564 --> 00:15:49,318 You bring this filth in here? What is this shit? 293 00:15:49,402 --> 00:15:51,904 Wait, wait. We gotta do something about this. 294 00:15:51,988 --> 00:15:54,365 We're gonna teach you how to read now, brother. 295 00:15:55,032 --> 00:15:57,410 If I were you, I'd leave as soon as possible. 296 00:15:57,493 --> 00:15:59,036 - Whose hand is that? - Thanks, man. 297 00:16:09,505 --> 00:16:12,383 Jesus Christ. Thanks for getting me out, man. 298 00:16:12,425 --> 00:16:16,554 No problem. The burgers wouldn't taste as good if you weren't there. 299 00:16:16,595 --> 00:16:17,972 Hey, look at this. 300 00:16:18,055 --> 00:16:21,809 It's like we went from being completely poor to being millionaires. 301 00:16:23,602 --> 00:16:25,896 - What was that? - Probably just a coyote. 302 00:16:25,980 --> 00:16:27,898 Aren't people supposed to be scared of coyotes? 303 00:16:27,940 --> 00:16:29,442 That's just 'cause they sound scary, man. 304 00:16:29,525 --> 00:16:32,653 In one-on-one combat, either of us could take down a coyote, no problem. 305 00:16:32,737 --> 00:16:33,904 What? 306 00:16:37,283 --> 00:16:38,993 Now, cheetahs are another story. 307 00:16:41,704 --> 00:16:43,664 - We're gonna die. - No, now hold on. 308 00:16:43,748 --> 00:16:45,207 Cheetahs are used to eating gazelles and shit. 309 00:16:45,291 --> 00:16:46,459 They're not known for eating humans. 310 00:16:48,085 --> 00:16:50,421 That is a corpse. We're gonna die. 311 00:16:50,504 --> 00:16:51,839 Shit! That's not a good sign. 312 00:16:51,922 --> 00:16:55,009 Maybe if we just stay really, really still, he'll just go away. 313 00:16:55,092 --> 00:16:56,260 Okay. 314 00:16:57,178 --> 00:16:59,013 Just stay really still. Don't move, okay? 315 00:16:59,096 --> 00:17:01,182 Just stay right there. Very good. Good job. 316 00:17:01,265 --> 00:17:02,933 This isn't working. 317 00:17:06,979 --> 00:17:10,024 He's mauling me! He's mauling me! 318 00:17:14,028 --> 00:17:16,864 Dude, I told you not to bring the beef jerky. 319 00:17:27,333 --> 00:17:28,918 He likes me. 320 00:17:31,545 --> 00:17:33,798 Hey, Rold, I have an idea. 321 00:17:35,675 --> 00:17:39,095 - You gotta be kidding me, man. - Uh-uh. 322 00:17:44,141 --> 00:17:46,227 This is either a really smart move 323 00:17:46,310 --> 00:17:48,980 or by far the stupidest thing that we have ever tried. 324 00:17:49,063 --> 00:17:51,315 Well, we're about to find out. 325 00:17:52,400 --> 00:17:53,401 Mush! 326 00:17:55,152 --> 00:17:56,779 I told you this was... 327 00:18:06,080 --> 00:18:07,081 Oy vey! 328 00:18:09,583 --> 00:18:13,879 Dude, am I really high, or is this actually working? 329 00:18:13,963 --> 00:18:16,465 - Both! - This is awesome! 330 00:18:16,549 --> 00:18:18,634 We're gonna be at White Castle in no time! 331 00:18:19,343 --> 00:18:20,720 That was close, huh, Roldy? 332 00:18:25,766 --> 00:18:29,186 Harold. I need you, Harold. 333 00:18:37,403 --> 00:18:39,613 I need you, Harold. 334 00:18:40,156 --> 00:18:41,741 Come here. 335 00:18:41,824 --> 00:18:44,201 - Come here, Harold. - Maria. 336 00:18:44,243 --> 00:18:46,746 - Come, Harold. - I'm coming, baby! 337 00:18:47,621 --> 00:18:50,166 I want you to hold me. Papi. I need you. 338 00:18:50,249 --> 00:18:53,044 Baby, I'm a-comin'! 339 00:18:53,586 --> 00:18:54,545 Not so fast. 340 00:18:54,628 --> 00:18:56,297 Watch out, watch out 341 00:18:58,007 --> 00:18:59,383 Come on! 342 00:19:02,136 --> 00:19:07,433 Bullets... my only weakness. How did you know? 343 00:19:07,516 --> 00:19:08,517 Maria 344 00:19:08,601 --> 00:19:10,061 Harold. 345 00:19:10,144 --> 00:19:11,479 Maria. 346 00:19:11,562 --> 00:19:14,315 Maria 347 00:19:20,279 --> 00:19:22,073 Maria. Maria 348 00:19:27,787 --> 00:19:29,080 Watch out, watch out 349 00:19:31,666 --> 00:19:33,626 Watch out, watch out 350 00:19:36,837 --> 00:19:39,799 What the hell are you doing? God! 351 00:19:39,882 --> 00:19:41,759 You've been out cold for the past half-hour. 352 00:19:41,801 --> 00:19:44,011 I figured maybe if I did some gay shit you'd wake up. 353 00:19:44,095 --> 00:19:46,347 If we did some gay shit? Where are we? 354 00:19:46,430 --> 00:19:49,308 Didn't we come here on a cheetah? Where's the cheetah? 355 00:19:49,392 --> 00:19:51,602 It ran away. Listen, forget about the cheetah, okay? 356 00:19:51,686 --> 00:19:53,938 I have some bad news and some worse news. 357 00:19:53,980 --> 00:19:55,815 Give me the worse news first. 358 00:19:55,898 --> 00:19:57,316 I looked at some of the road signs up there, 359 00:19:57,400 --> 00:19:59,610 and it looks like the cheetah took us in the wrong direction. 360 00:19:59,694 --> 00:20:01,821 - Shit! - Yeah. 361 00:20:01,988 --> 00:20:03,531 - Shit! - Yeah. 362 00:20:04,615 --> 00:20:06,200 All right, what's the bad news? 363 00:20:06,283 --> 00:20:08,160 Your laptop's completely destroyed. 364 00:20:08,244 --> 00:20:09,620 What? 365 00:20:09,704 --> 00:20:13,040 Why didn't... Why didn't you tell me... 366 00:20:13,124 --> 00:20:15,835 How is that not the worse news? 367 00:20:15,918 --> 00:20:17,878 The laptop situation really only affects you, 368 00:20:17,962 --> 00:20:21,882 whereas the White Castle situation affects both of us equally. 369 00:20:24,635 --> 00:20:26,637 Oh, no! Oh, no! 370 00:20:26,721 --> 00:20:29,515 All my work was saved on this computer. 371 00:20:29,598 --> 00:20:31,559 Now I gotta go back to the office and redo it. 372 00:20:31,642 --> 00:20:32,643 Exactly. First we'll go to White Castle... 373 00:20:32,727 --> 00:20:34,770 Forget about White Castle. There is no time. 374 00:20:35,813 --> 00:20:36,981 Car. 375 00:20:43,195 --> 00:20:45,114 Hello. Over here! 376 00:20:47,867 --> 00:20:49,327 Shit. 377 00:21:11,265 --> 00:21:12,725 Whoa. 378 00:21:14,393 --> 00:21:15,478 Yeah. Um... 379 00:21:16,687 --> 00:21:18,981 All right, we'll get a pay phone, 380 00:21:19,065 --> 00:21:21,359 get a cab back to your office, all right? 381 00:21:22,568 --> 00:21:24,195 Come on. You all right? 382 00:21:34,038 --> 00:21:36,040 - Hey, check this out! - Yeah, nice! 383 00:21:38,751 --> 00:21:40,211 Hey, Apu! 384 00:21:40,252 --> 00:21:42,713 Jesus. These guys are frickin' everywhere. 385 00:21:42,797 --> 00:21:45,675 Who's looking after the Kwik-E-Mart while you're gone? 386 00:21:45,758 --> 00:21:48,052 You two going to share a curry Slurpee? 387 00:21:48,094 --> 00:21:49,595 Fucking assholes. 388 00:21:50,262 --> 00:21:52,556 Dude, check it out. It's Rosenberg and Goldstein. 389 00:21:57,603 --> 00:21:58,813 I want that. 390 00:21:58,896 --> 00:22:00,731 What, a Hot Dog Heaven super chili cheese dog? 391 00:22:00,815 --> 00:22:03,567 No. I want that feeling. 392 00:22:03,651 --> 00:22:06,028 The feeling that comes over a man 393 00:22:06,112 --> 00:22:08,197 when he gets exactly what he desires. 394 00:22:08,280 --> 00:22:10,199 I need that feeling. 395 00:22:10,282 --> 00:22:11,826 Are you saying what I think you're saying? 396 00:22:11,909 --> 00:22:14,161 - We gotta go to White Castle. - Yes, yes! 397 00:22:14,245 --> 00:22:15,871 I knew you had it in you, dude. 398 00:22:16,998 --> 00:22:18,416 Yo, is that Cindy Kim? 399 00:22:22,169 --> 00:22:25,506 Oh, dude, you should've boned her when you had the chance, man. 400 00:22:25,589 --> 00:22:27,425 Check it out. 401 00:22:31,304 --> 00:22:32,930 Why don't you guys just leave us alone? 402 00:22:33,014 --> 00:22:34,849 What are you gonna do about it, Mr. Miyagi? 403 00:22:38,144 --> 00:22:39,562 That's extreme, man! 404 00:22:40,396 --> 00:22:42,481 There's no sense getting all riled up 405 00:22:42,565 --> 00:22:45,318 every time a bunch of idiots give you a hard time. 406 00:22:45,401 --> 00:22:49,196 The universe tends to unfold as it should. 407 00:22:50,781 --> 00:22:51,741 Nothing. 408 00:22:53,659 --> 00:22:55,870 - Fucking extreme! - I'm so sick of their bullshit. 409 00:22:57,496 --> 00:23:01,042 Don't worry. The universe tends to unfold as it should. 410 00:23:01,125 --> 00:23:03,794 What is that, some fortune cookie? 411 00:23:05,379 --> 00:23:09,091 Hey, I got a plan. Follow my lead, okay? 412 00:23:09,175 --> 00:23:10,885 - Your lead? - Yeah. 413 00:23:10,968 --> 00:23:12,386 Okay. 414 00:23:12,470 --> 00:23:15,598 Whoa, what are you doing? Oh, shit! 415 00:23:20,019 --> 00:23:20,978 Those pricks! 416 00:23:21,062 --> 00:23:23,272 - This is your plan? - It's working, isn't it? 417 00:23:25,483 --> 00:23:27,652 Come on, come on! Get 'em, guys! 418 00:23:27,693 --> 00:23:29,528 - Jerk-offs! - My truck! 419 00:23:32,198 --> 00:23:34,283 Thank you, come again. 420 00:23:39,538 --> 00:23:42,541 Dude, that was so not extreme. 421 00:23:42,583 --> 00:23:45,002 I know, Extreme Sport Punk Number One. 422 00:23:48,839 --> 00:23:50,132 I know. 423 00:23:50,216 --> 00:23:51,759 Let's find us some tunes, baby. 424 00:23:51,842 --> 00:23:55,221 "Cole's Extreme Mix, Volume 5"? What is this shit? 425 00:23:56,514 --> 00:23:59,725 And I need you now tonight 426 00:23:59,809 --> 00:24:02,395 Those guys are fuckin' posers. 427 00:24:03,354 --> 00:24:07,525 And if you'll only hold me tight 428 00:24:07,608 --> 00:24:12,697 Baby. Baby. The stars are shining foryou 429 00:24:12,738 --> 00:24:17,243 And just like me. I'm sure that they adore you 430 00:24:17,326 --> 00:24:18,536 Baby. Baby 431 00:24:18,619 --> 00:24:21,580 Go walking through the forest 432 00:24:21,664 --> 00:24:24,208 Things'll go your way 433 00:24:24,291 --> 00:24:26,544 Hold on for one more day 434 00:24:26,585 --> 00:24:28,713 I know that there is pain 435 00:24:28,796 --> 00:24:30,965 But you hold on for one more day 436 00:24:31,048 --> 00:24:35,428 And you break free from the chains 437 00:24:36,304 --> 00:24:38,264 Yeah. I know that there is pain 438 00:24:38,347 --> 00:24:40,891 But you hold on for one more day 439 00:24:40,975 --> 00:24:44,103 And you break free right from the chains 440 00:24:45,938 --> 00:24:49,108 Someday somebody's gonna make you wanna turn around 441 00:24:49,191 --> 00:24:51,277 - And say good-bye - Say good-bye 442 00:24:51,360 --> 00:24:52,737 Until then, baby 443 00:24:52,778 --> 00:24:55,197 Are you gonna let 'em hold you down and make you cry? 444 00:24:55,281 --> 00:24:58,284 Don't you know things can change 445 00:24:58,367 --> 00:24:59,785 Things'll go your way 446 00:24:59,869 --> 00:25:04,373 If you hold on for one more day 447 00:25:04,457 --> 00:25:07,418 Hold on 448 00:25:11,464 --> 00:25:12,631 Bingo. 449 00:25:12,965 --> 00:25:16,135 Yeah, dude! Cherry Hill, man. We're almost there. 450 00:25:16,218 --> 00:25:17,595 I told you, man! 451 00:25:17,637 --> 00:25:19,972 I found 'em, and I'm gonna need backup. 452 00:25:20,056 --> 00:25:22,266 - Oh, shit. - Shit. 453 00:25:22,308 --> 00:25:24,977 Fudge, dude. Are you kidding me? 454 00:25:25,645 --> 00:25:28,856 - What the hell are you doing? - I'm not going back to jail, man. 455 00:25:28,939 --> 00:25:31,776 We've come too far. Now buckle up. Buckle up! 456 00:25:33,527 --> 00:25:35,738 We got a chase on our hands. 457 00:25:37,198 --> 00:25:39,450 - Ready? - Yeah. For what? 458 00:25:39,533 --> 00:25:40,785 Oh, shit! 459 00:25:43,412 --> 00:25:46,123 - Where the fuck you takin' us? - Just hold on. 460 00:25:51,420 --> 00:25:52,713 What the... 461 00:25:56,676 --> 00:25:59,470 It's a good thing I have an empty stomach or else I'd puke right now. 462 00:26:04,183 --> 00:26:05,518 We're gonna make it. 463 00:26:06,477 --> 00:26:08,396 Everything's gonna be all ri... 464 00:26:10,523 --> 00:26:12,358 Oh, my God! 465 00:26:13,859 --> 00:26:15,194 Oh, shit. Holy shit. 466 00:26:15,277 --> 00:26:17,780 - Put her in reverse. Hurry! - Shit! 467 00:26:17,863 --> 00:26:19,740 Let's go out the back. I'll go first. 468 00:26:19,824 --> 00:26:22,660 - Don't shake the car! - Well, hurry up! 469 00:26:30,251 --> 00:26:31,794 Hey, Roldy, check it out. 470 00:26:44,390 --> 00:26:46,517 Shit, shit! We're trapped, man! 471 00:26:50,187 --> 00:26:52,857 Whoa. Not necessarily. 472 00:26:53,858 --> 00:26:55,443 No. 473 00:26:55,526 --> 00:26:57,862 No, not a chance. I'd rather turn myself in than die. 474 00:26:57,945 --> 00:26:59,322 No, dude, I know exactly how to do that. 475 00:26:59,405 --> 00:27:01,407 I used to do it with my dad all the time when I was a kid. 476 00:27:01,490 --> 00:27:04,368 Forget it! I'm not risking my life over a bunch of hamburgers, man. 477 00:27:04,410 --> 00:27:06,704 So you think this is just about the burgers, huh? 478 00:27:07,580 --> 00:27:11,083 Let me tell you, it's about far more than that. 479 00:27:12,918 --> 00:27:14,879 Our parents came to this country, 480 00:27:14,962 --> 00:27:19,008 escaping persecution, poverty, and hunger. 481 00:27:19,842 --> 00:27:21,719 Hunger, Harold. 482 00:27:21,761 --> 00:27:24,680 They were very, very hungry. 483 00:27:25,765 --> 00:27:28,476 They wanted to live in a land that treated them as equals, 484 00:27:28,559 --> 00:27:30,603 a land filled with hamburger stands. 485 00:27:30,686 --> 00:27:32,688 And not just one type of hamburger, okay? 486 00:27:32,772 --> 00:27:36,400 Hundreds of types with different sizes, toppings, and condiments. 487 00:27:38,361 --> 00:27:40,321 That land was America. 488 00:27:40,946 --> 00:27:44,241 America, Harold! America! 489 00:27:45,451 --> 00:27:49,080 Now, this is about achieving what our parents set out for. 490 00:27:49,163 --> 00:27:52,333 This is about the pursuit of happiness. 491 00:27:52,416 --> 00:27:56,337 This night... is about the American dream. 492 00:28:03,761 --> 00:28:05,846 Dude, we can stay here, get arrested, 493 00:28:05,930 --> 00:28:08,891 and end our hopes of ever going to White Castle. 494 00:28:08,975 --> 00:28:12,770 Or we can take that hang glider and make our leap towards freedom. 495 00:28:12,853 --> 00:28:15,189 I leave the decision up to you. 496 00:28:17,984 --> 00:28:19,777 I hate you, Kumar. 497 00:28:21,320 --> 00:28:22,989 Tilt forward. 498 00:28:23,072 --> 00:28:24,073 - Roldy. - What? 499 00:28:24,156 --> 00:28:25,908 - Don't worry. Everything's gonna be fine. - All right. 500 00:28:29,620 --> 00:28:31,288 - Good job, Rold. Keep running. - Thank you. 501 00:28:31,330 --> 00:28:34,458 Hey, Roldy, there's something I forgot to tell you. 502 00:28:34,542 --> 00:28:36,585 - I've never hang-glided before. - What?! 503 00:28:36,669 --> 00:28:37,920 Jump! 504 00:28:46,345 --> 00:28:47,346 Oh, my God! 505 00:28:47,430 --> 00:28:49,307 - Dude, it's working! - Oh, my God! 506 00:28:49,348 --> 00:28:51,309 Yeah! 507 00:28:51,976 --> 00:28:53,019 Good news. 508 00:28:53,102 --> 00:28:55,438 I just found enough dope in the car 509 00:28:55,521 --> 00:28:58,899 to put these skateboard punks in jail for the next couple of years. 510 00:29:01,235 --> 00:29:04,655 - Dude, we're so high right now. - We're not low. 511 00:29:11,871 --> 00:29:15,791 All right, I'm bringing her in. Right, left, left. 512 00:29:15,875 --> 00:29:17,335 Perfect! 513 00:29:17,376 --> 00:29:19,587 - Shit! - Shit! 514 00:29:31,390 --> 00:29:32,933 God! 515 00:29:33,017 --> 00:29:34,352 I'm gonna kill you! 516 00:29:35,895 --> 00:29:37,313 Look! 517 00:29:47,740 --> 00:29:49,200 We made it, dude. 518 00:30:07,176 --> 00:30:09,095 Looks like you guys had some night, huh? 519 00:30:09,178 --> 00:30:12,431 I want 30 Slyders, 5 French fries, and 4 large Cherry Cokes. 520 00:30:12,515 --> 00:30:16,435 I want the same, except make mine Diet Cokes, Chuck. 521 00:30:16,519 --> 00:30:20,398 Wow. Well, that comes to $46.75. 522 00:30:22,650 --> 00:30:25,653 - Dude, where's my money? - You don't have money? 523 00:30:25,736 --> 00:30:27,029 - Dude, are you kidding me? - No. 524 00:30:27,113 --> 00:30:29,115 I gave mine to that asshole at Princeton. 525 00:30:29,198 --> 00:30:32,326 Fuck! Fuck that hippie fuck! No! Dude, this isn't happening! 526 00:30:32,410 --> 00:30:34,078 We didn't make it here, and now we're broke! 527 00:30:34,120 --> 00:30:35,413 No, no, no, no! 528 00:30:35,454 --> 00:30:38,708 Guys, let me pay for it. It's the least I can do. 529 00:30:38,749 --> 00:30:40,126 The hell are you doing here? 530 00:30:40,209 --> 00:30:42,420 You guys kept talking about White Castle last night so much, 531 00:30:42,503 --> 00:30:43,796 it made me start to crave it, too. 532 00:30:43,879 --> 00:30:46,257 - Dude, where's my car? - Where's his car, dude? 533 00:30:46,298 --> 00:30:49,802 Yeah, sorry about that. I told you last night I was tripping balls. 534 00:30:49,885 --> 00:30:51,387 I don't know what came over me. 535 00:30:51,470 --> 00:30:53,889 Your car's in the parking lot. Here are your keys. 536 00:30:53,973 --> 00:30:56,434 Do you realize what the hell we had to go through after you took the car? 537 00:30:56,475 --> 00:30:59,270 Yeah. It was a dick move on my part. 538 00:30:59,353 --> 00:31:02,898 That's why I'm paying for your meal. Prick. 539 00:31:02,982 --> 00:31:04,400 Thanks, I guess. 540 00:31:04,483 --> 00:31:09,530 Here's 50 bucks for the burgers and 200 for the car. 541 00:31:10,698 --> 00:31:11,991 What happened to my car? 542 00:31:12,074 --> 00:31:15,286 I made some love stains in the back seat. 543 00:31:15,328 --> 00:31:17,079 You'll see. 544 00:31:19,790 --> 00:31:21,917 Anyway, nice meeting you guys. I'll catch you later. 545 00:31:22,460 --> 00:31:23,711 Where are you going? 546 00:31:25,171 --> 00:31:26,881 Wherever God takes me. 547 00:31:44,523 --> 00:31:46,359 Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa. 548 00:31:46,442 --> 00:31:47,443 Let's do this together. 549 00:32:24,730 --> 00:32:26,315 Damn, that hit the spot. 550 00:32:26,399 --> 00:32:29,360 - That was the best meal of my life. - Mine, too. 551 00:32:29,402 --> 00:32:30,987 You know what, dude? 552 00:32:31,028 --> 00:32:33,364 I think I may actually go to my interview today. 553 00:32:33,406 --> 00:32:34,490 Are you serious? 554 00:32:34,573 --> 00:32:36,075 You know, my whole life I've just been scared 555 00:32:36,158 --> 00:32:38,285 of being one of those nerdy Indian guys turned doctor, 556 00:32:38,369 --> 00:32:39,912 but tonight got me thinking. 557 00:32:39,996 --> 00:32:42,206 There are far worse things in this world than being tapped 558 00:32:42,289 --> 00:32:44,458 for having a natural ability in medicine. 559 00:32:44,542 --> 00:32:47,169 Chick magnet. Chick magnet 560 00:32:47,253 --> 00:32:50,256 Plus, how cool was that, saving that dude's life last night? 561 00:32:50,339 --> 00:32:54,218 It was somewhere between that, getting yelled at by my dad, 562 00:32:54,302 --> 00:32:55,303 and seeing Neil Patrick Harris 563 00:32:55,386 --> 00:32:56,846 that I realized that I've always wanted to be a doctor 564 00:32:56,887 --> 00:32:58,931 but I've just been too scared to admit it to myself. 565 00:32:59,015 --> 00:33:01,309 - Billy, you paying for this? - Yeah, I'll be there... 566 00:33:01,392 --> 00:33:02,935 Good, 'cause if he wasn't, you would. 567 00:33:03,019 --> 00:33:05,855 Are you listening to me, Roldy? I'm having a major epiphany here. 568 00:33:05,896 --> 00:33:07,565 I'll be right back. 569 00:33:07,648 --> 00:33:09,400 You're unlike any other woman I've ever met. 570 00:33:09,442 --> 00:33:11,944 What the fuck is going on here? 571 00:33:12,820 --> 00:33:15,781 Harold? What happened to you, man? 572 00:33:15,865 --> 00:33:18,034 Never mind me. What the fuck are you doing here? 573 00:33:18,075 --> 00:33:20,244 I thought you and J.D. Were busy all night with clients. 574 00:33:20,328 --> 00:33:21,704 Isn't that why I had to do your work? 575 00:33:21,787 --> 00:33:23,998 - Henry, what the hell's going on? - Back off, cock boy. 576 00:33:24,081 --> 00:33:25,875 What I said to him goes double for you. 577 00:33:25,916 --> 00:33:27,835 - Did you just call me cock boy? - Yeah, you know I did. 578 00:33:27,918 --> 00:33:28,878 You're just stalling 579 00:33:28,961 --> 00:33:30,921 because you're not quick enough to think of a comeback. 580 00:33:30,963 --> 00:33:32,923 You think I'm not quick enough. Guy thinks I'm not quick enough. 581 00:33:32,965 --> 00:33:35,760 Well, I've got news for you. I am quick enough... 582 00:33:39,138 --> 00:33:40,514 ...cock boy! 583 00:33:42,933 --> 00:33:44,477 Listen, Harold, I'm really sorry. 584 00:33:44,560 --> 00:33:46,937 Don't bother with him. We'll take it up with Berenson tomorrow. 585 00:33:46,979 --> 00:33:48,773 What are you gonna tell Berenson? 586 00:33:48,814 --> 00:33:50,900 That I'm your workhorse? 587 00:33:50,941 --> 00:33:53,694 That you guys think you can party all weekend, 588 00:33:53,778 --> 00:33:55,821 leave the work to the quiet Asian guy in the office? 589 00:33:55,905 --> 00:33:59,116 - No, you don't understand. - No, you don't understand. 590 00:33:59,200 --> 00:34:02,536 I'm not doing your work for you anymore. 591 00:34:02,620 --> 00:34:04,789 And if either one of you douche bags 592 00:34:04,872 --> 00:34:06,916 ever tries to pull this shit again, 593 00:34:06,957 --> 00:34:08,417 I'll go to Berenson myself. 594 00:34:08,501 --> 00:34:10,461 I'll tell him what's really going on. 595 00:34:10,503 --> 00:34:12,171 And I'll tell the whole office 596 00:34:12,254 --> 00:34:15,716 how you both caught gonorrhea from that prostitute in Atlantic City. 597 00:34:16,968 --> 00:34:19,637 If you'll excuse me, boys, I gotta get going. Kumar. 598 00:34:21,180 --> 00:34:23,432 See you boys at the office on Monday. 599 00:34:23,516 --> 00:34:24,809 Excuse me. 600 00:34:31,691 --> 00:34:34,652 Dude, that was awesome! Where the hell did that come from? 601 00:34:34,735 --> 00:34:35,736 I don't know. 602 00:34:35,820 --> 00:34:38,823 Eating those delicious burgers made me feel like a new man. 603 00:34:38,906 --> 00:34:39,949 You know what? 604 00:34:39,991 --> 00:34:41,826 Now I'm actually looking forward to going to work this week. 605 00:34:41,867 --> 00:34:45,329 No shit. You know, you might be worthwhile after all. 606 00:34:45,413 --> 00:34:46,872 I'm not worthless. 607 00:34:46,956 --> 00:34:50,334 Hey, so those dudes really have gonorrhea? 608 00:34:50,376 --> 00:34:51,669 Beats me. 609 00:34:53,671 --> 00:34:55,006 Hey. 610 00:34:55,881 --> 00:34:57,967 - Let's get going. - What's the rush, dude? 611 00:34:58,009 --> 00:34:59,677 I don't have my interview for a couple of hours. 612 00:34:59,760 --> 00:35:02,013 I got some unfinished business to take care of. 613 00:35:02,096 --> 00:35:03,889 I thought those guys were gonna do the work. 614 00:35:03,973 --> 00:35:06,392 No, unfinished business. 615 00:35:06,475 --> 00:35:08,686 - Maria. - Still not following you. 616 00:35:08,728 --> 00:35:09,729 Get in! 617 00:35:16,360 --> 00:35:17,820 So you don't even have a plan. 618 00:35:17,903 --> 00:35:21,032 Dude, I got love on my side, man. 619 00:35:21,073 --> 00:35:22,241 Trust me. 620 00:35:22,325 --> 00:35:26,287 When I see Maria, I'm gonna know exactly what to say. 621 00:35:31,334 --> 00:35:32,752 - Hey. - Hey. 622 00:35:32,835 --> 00:35:35,713 It looks like you guys have had some night. 623 00:35:39,675 --> 00:35:43,304 Shit. You know what? I left my lighter in your car. 624 00:35:43,387 --> 00:35:45,222 Do me a favor and run down and get it for me, please? 625 00:35:45,306 --> 00:35:46,974 I gotta urinate. 626 00:36:07,536 --> 00:36:09,914 You sure got a lot of baggage. 627 00:36:21,676 --> 00:36:23,094 Maria, wait. 628 00:36:23,177 --> 00:36:25,304 I know this is gonna seem completely out of the blue, 629 00:36:25,388 --> 00:36:28,432 and I know you don't know me very well... or, um, at all. 630 00:36:28,516 --> 00:36:30,393 But let me tell you the best part of my day is. 631 00:36:30,434 --> 00:36:32,937 I come home from work and I walk through this lobby, 632 00:36:33,020 --> 00:36:35,064 and on days that I'm lucky enough, 633 00:36:35,147 --> 00:36:38,442 I spend ten seconds in this elevator with you. 634 00:36:38,484 --> 00:36:40,569 I had the craziest night of my life tonight, 635 00:36:40,653 --> 00:36:43,823 and I guess I learned that if you want something or someone, 636 00:36:43,906 --> 00:36:45,116 you have to go for it. 637 00:36:47,284 --> 00:36:49,704 And if Liane can marry a guy like Freakshow 638 00:36:49,787 --> 00:36:52,498 and I can hang-glide and I can ride a cheetah, 639 00:36:52,581 --> 00:36:54,125 then I guess... 640 00:36:55,126 --> 00:36:56,127 Oh, fuck it. 641 00:36:56,210 --> 00:37:00,214 Girl, I'm spendin' my dimes 642 00:37:00,297 --> 00:37:02,633 Give me a minute. This is crazy. 643 00:37:02,675 --> 00:37:04,760 - That was... l'm sorry. - I don't even know you. 644 00:37:04,844 --> 00:37:07,305 I had White Castle, so I'm a little dizzy. 645 00:37:07,388 --> 00:37:10,016 - We don't ever speak. - We don't talk, so that was inappropriate. 646 00:37:10,099 --> 00:37:11,350 Oh, fuck it. 647 00:37:11,434 --> 00:37:14,228 I wanna get next to you 648 00:37:17,648 --> 00:37:21,986 I wanna get next to you 649 00:37:25,031 --> 00:37:25,990 Okay. 650 00:37:27,742 --> 00:37:29,702 Now you just have to work on your timing. 651 00:37:29,785 --> 00:37:31,704 - Where are you going? - Amsterdam. 652 00:37:31,787 --> 00:37:34,957 I'll be back in ten days. But I'll see you when I get back? 653 00:37:35,041 --> 00:37:37,209 Yeah, let's do that. 654 00:37:43,883 --> 00:37:45,343 Bye, Harold. 655 00:37:47,887 --> 00:37:49,764 Bye. Bye. I'll see you later. 656 00:37:51,098 --> 00:37:53,017 - She touch your penis? - What? 657 00:37:53,100 --> 00:37:54,727 What happened? 658 00:37:54,810 --> 00:37:59,231 Nothing much, really. Just a little kiss action. 659 00:37:59,315 --> 00:38:00,941 Nice. Nice! 660 00:38:01,025 --> 00:38:03,569 Yeah. She's going to Amsterdam. She'll be back in ten days. 661 00:38:03,653 --> 00:38:05,488 We gotta go. 662 00:38:05,529 --> 00:38:07,114 - Where? - Amsterdam, man. 663 00:38:07,198 --> 00:38:08,574 - We gotta get our bags packed... - Amsterdam? 664 00:38:08,658 --> 00:38:10,660 ...and frickin' take the next flight out. 665 00:38:10,743 --> 00:38:12,828 Are you freaking out of your mind? What about your interview? 666 00:38:12,912 --> 00:38:14,914 Dude, whatever. I'll tell my dad to reschedule it. 667 00:38:14,997 --> 00:38:17,833 He won't have a problem as long as I take it seriously for a change. 668 00:38:17,917 --> 00:38:20,753 We gotta freakin' go to Europe and find Maria. 669 00:38:20,836 --> 00:38:22,880 Dude, she's coming back in ten days. 670 00:38:22,963 --> 00:38:24,632 It's not like I'm never gonna see her again. 671 00:38:24,715 --> 00:38:25,925 Listen, for a hot chick, 672 00:38:26,008 --> 00:38:27,969 ten days in Europe can be the kiss of death, okay? 673 00:38:28,052 --> 00:38:31,138 She's gonna have all these suave, sophisticated guys all over her. 674 00:38:31,222 --> 00:38:33,182 When she gets back, she may not be available. 675 00:38:33,224 --> 00:38:35,726 Forget it. I'll see her when she comes back. 676 00:38:35,768 --> 00:38:36,978 Hey, Roldy. 677 00:38:38,521 --> 00:38:41,565 You do realize what's legal in Amsterdam, don't you? 678 00:38:44,151 --> 00:38:45,361 Oh, yeah. 679 00:38:52,493 --> 00:38:55,246 In today's headlines, Rutgers professor Tarik Jackson 680 00:38:55,329 --> 00:38:58,165 and attorney Nathaniel Banks are suing the state of New Jersey 681 00:38:58,249 --> 00:39:00,751 for racial discrimination and police brutality. 682 00:39:00,835 --> 00:39:03,254 My family and I are outraged 683 00:39:03,337 --> 00:39:05,756 and will settle for nothing less than justice. 684 00:39:05,840 --> 00:39:09,760 I still trust and love all white people, all of them. 685 00:39:10,594 --> 00:39:12,596 And Asians. And Asians. 686 00:39:12,680 --> 00:39:14,432 And a few Mexicans as well. 687 00:39:14,473 --> 00:39:16,934 Several of the officers suspected of brutality 688 00:39:17,018 --> 00:39:19,312 were taken into custody earlier this morning. 689 00:39:19,395 --> 00:39:21,480 Run away, you mother... 690 00:39:21,564 --> 00:39:25,401 No black mother... gonna get away with this, so... all y'all. 691 00:39:25,443 --> 00:39:27,069 You can suck my... 692 00:39:27,153 --> 00:39:28,738 Police in Cherry Hill, New Jersey, 693 00:39:28,779 --> 00:39:30,781 have just arrested a gang of hooligans 694 00:39:30,865 --> 00:39:33,743 who are suspected of terrorizing numerous strip malls 695 00:39:33,784 --> 00:39:34,952 and convenience stores. 696 00:39:35,036 --> 00:39:37,413 Officer Thurmond Brucks found their abandoned car, 697 00:39:37,455 --> 00:39:40,291 which contained a large bag of marijuana. 698 00:39:40,374 --> 00:39:42,668 And in other news, the Muckleburg Police Department 699 00:39:42,752 --> 00:39:44,545 are still looking for a fugitive 700 00:39:44,628 --> 00:39:46,505 who escaped from the police station last night 701 00:39:46,589 --> 00:39:49,300 with a companion believed to be his accomplice. 702 00:39:49,342 --> 00:39:51,552 Police have released sketches of the two fugitives 703 00:39:51,636 --> 00:39:54,722 which they believe to be extremely accurate. 704 00:39:58,601 --> 00:39:59,810 Nice!