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Okay, welcome back.
2
00:00:45,048 --> 00:00:47,494
This is Artie Decker,
De Voice of the Fresno Grizzlies...
3
00:00:47,684 --> 00:00:49,459
and we've got a good one,
my friends.
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Top of the ninth here at Chukchansi
Park, and a beautiful night.
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We can actually feel
that fall is finally an its way.
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It's a rather crisp 107 degrees, but dry.
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We've got 15,000 sweaty and bloated
people all pumped up on Churros...
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00:01:02,999 --> 00:01:05,104
rooting on our Fresno Grizzlies.
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00:01:05,302 --> 00:01:08,613
And Brad, this is why I love
announcing Minor League Baseball...
10
00:01:08,805 --> 00:01:11,045
because I get to say names
like "River Cats..."
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00:01:11,240 --> 00:01:12,981
or the "Rancho Cucamonga Quakes."
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I don't have to ever say boring names
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like "Tigers," or "Red Sox," or "Cubs."
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Okay, we got a little
break in the action...
15
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as they're having
a little meeting on the mound.
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Artie, do you know what time it is?
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I sure do, Brad.
It's time for Artie's Kiss Cam!
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Thank you, Gwen.
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Let's see what kind of young lovers
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we got at the ballpark tonight.
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All right, there's a kiss.
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Well, you know one thing when you see
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a kiss like that, they're married.
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Wait, wait, we've got a proposal.
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00:01:43,339 --> 00:01:45,979
"Will you marry me, Clara? Love, Nate."
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There's our young Romeo now.
And He has scored!
27
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Brad, that is what
you young people would call a "hottie."
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He's got Britney Spears
and he's about to give her the ring...
29
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and he goes the other way!
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I can't believe what I am seeing...
31
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and I'm sure she's
got a great "personality," but, oh my.
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00:02:03,424 --> 00:02:05,131
I thought Jerry Garcia was dead.
33
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What's he doing
in the stands marrying him?
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Here at Chukchansi Park,
love is blind, and apparently so is Nate.
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All right, let's get back to the action
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00:02:14,068 --> 00:02:16,207
as the meeting breaks up on the mound.
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Here's the situation.
First and third, two outs.
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And here's the pitch.
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Swing and a miss. Diaz fires down to third.
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They've picked him off third!
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- You're out!
- Ballgame aver!
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I'll tell you, Myers is
getting an earful...
43
00:02:28,716 --> 00:02:31,788
and as my mom used to say,
"There's no cure for dumb."
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Gwen! We won.
45
00:02:34,522 --> 00:02:36,502
And that closes out
the last game of the season.
46
00:02:36,691 --> 00:02:39,137
The Grizzlies take
the Sacramento River Cats...
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00:02:39,327 --> 00:02:40,738
by a score of three to one.
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We'll be right back with a happy recap.
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That is a bad way to end a game.
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Artie. Mr. Decker.
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I want to say thank you
for what has been an awesome semester.
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I mean, you taught me a lot,
and... I got you this.
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What did you do, Brad?
54
00:03:00,847 --> 00:03:03,225
It's got all the famous calls
you told me about.
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00:03:03,417 --> 00:03:06,023
Harwell, "Red" Barber, Scully, Russ Hodges.
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You know, that's really great,
Brad. Thank you so much.
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Well, as the great Yogi Berra once said,
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"It ain't over till it's over."
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Well, this Fresno Grizzlies season is over.
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I'm Artie Decker,
De Voice of the Fresno Grizzlies.
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00:03:18,465 --> 00:03:21,605
So, on behalf of Brad Zolick
and the late Gwen Foster on the organ...
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good night everybody,
thanks for listening and lights out, Alice.
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I love this job.
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I'm fired?
65
00:03:32,379 --> 00:03:35,053
I'm sorry, Artie. I'm changing everything.
66
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New logos, new uniforms, new music.
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All the deadwood is
floating to the sawmill.
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I'm deadwood?
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00:03:41,121 --> 00:03:43,533
You're old school.
You reminisce and you tell stories.
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00:03:43,724 --> 00:03:45,431
All our sponsors are for hearing aids,
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beds that go up and down, and scooters.
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Not the cool kind, the sad kind.
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We need someone who's wired in.
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To what?
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Facebook.
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00:03:53,499 --> 00:03:55,035
- How many friends do you have?
- I don't have any friends.
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00:03:55,234 --> 00:03:56,269
- Have you made any posts?
- No.
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00:03:56,469 --> 00:03:57,743
- What was your last update?
- My what?
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00:03:57,937 --> 00:03:59,280
- Have you poked anybody?
- I haven't poked anybody!
80
00:03:59,472 --> 00:04:00,746
- Has anybody poked you?
- No.
81
00:04:00,940 --> 00:04:02,920
The thing is Artie,
even if you were connected...
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00:04:03,109 --> 00:04:04,910
I don't know that I'd want
to be poked by you.
83
00:04:04,944 --> 00:04:06,287
- How many apps do you have?
- I don't have any apps.
84
00:04:06,479 --> 00:04:07,457
- You don't have any apps?
- No.
85
00:04:07,646 --> 00:04:08,716
- Everyone has apps.
- I don't have an app.
86
00:04:08,914 --> 00:04:10,052
- Do you play Angry Birds?
- Angry Birds?
87
00:04:10,149 --> 00:04:11,127
Who's your favorite Angry Bird?
88
00:04:11,217 --> 00:04:12,218
I don't have a favorite Angry Bird!
89
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Everyone has a favorite Angry Bird.
90
00:04:13,386 --> 00:04:14,786
I don't have a favorite Angry Bird!
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Hashtag.
92
00:04:16,088 --> 00:04:17,608
When was the last time you hashtagged?
93
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Are you out of your mind?
What the heck are you talking about?
94
00:04:19,592 --> 00:04:20,570
We need announcers that tweet.
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00:04:20,760 --> 00:04:22,561
I'll tweet.
I'll make whatever noise you want.
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Sorry, Artie, my mind's made up.
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Feel the burn, everyone.
98
00:05:03,001 --> 00:05:05,208
And one, two, three, four.
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00:05:05,403 --> 00:05:06,177
Okay, okay.
100
00:05:06,471 --> 00:05:07,711
How are we doing, Diane?
101
00:05:07,906 --> 00:05:09,943
Oh, my sciatica.
102
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My other sciatica.
103
00:05:16,414 --> 00:05:18,223
Ten minutes to cheesecake, ladies.
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There we go. Good job.
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Hi, Artie.
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Hi, ladies.
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Caught the end of the game.
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"No cure for dumb." Funny.
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- Yeah.
- Funny.
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Don't fall, hon.
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I got it.
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All right, everybody,
pull your core in.
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I don't have a core.
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Work those abs.
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You know, Artie,
this could turn out to be a good thing.
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It could give us more "us" time.
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You mean me wearing a captain's
hat following you around Costco?
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You don't want to retire? Fine.
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00:05:56,487 --> 00:05:59,491
You were offered a job
teaching broadcasting at Fresno State.
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You could teach young people.
121
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I could,
but why should they know what I know?
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Ever the nurturer.
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I don't want to teach,
I want to do. I still have the dream.
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The Giants?
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Yeah, the Giants.
I've been chasing this job for 35 years.
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You give up your dream, you give up.
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I'm not quitting.
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I feel 10 years younger than I am,
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and I look 10 years younger than that.
130
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So basically, you're asking
a 38-year-old to retire.
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You're 38? Paint the house.
132
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Artie, to me, you're the best
announcer in the whole world.
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You should be broadcasting for the Giants.
134
00:06:31,721 --> 00:06:33,928
But after all these years, honey...
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something tells me
they don't have you on speed dial.
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- It'll be okay.
- I'm sorry.
137
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H-life awake.
138
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Garage activated. Vehicle charging.
139
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Solar panels activated.
140
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Good morning, Harper, Turner and Barker.
141
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Waffles ready.
142
00:07:03,753 --> 00:07:04,754
Coffee ready.
143
00:07:05,588 --> 00:07:07,568
Time for breakfast.
144
00:07:07,757 --> 00:07:09,293
But-but, Mom.
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00:07:09,492 --> 00:07:11,870
Honey, hold on one second.
146
00:07:11,961 --> 00:07:15,909
Well, I can have that up for
you in about three hours.
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Yeah, one hour,
that's what I meant. Sure, I can hold on.
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Stupid!
149
00:07:21,436 --> 00:07:23,382
- What's the matter, honey?
- I missed a note.
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Come and have breakfast.
You're going to get it.
151
00:07:25,507 --> 00:07:26,713
You know that you always do.
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Yeah, I'm right here.
153
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Right. And when would that be?
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That's so soon. You got to be kidding me.
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Dad! Dad.
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I'm the soysages,
Turner gets the Wheatie-O's.
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Okay. Hey, babe, can you take over here?
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- I'm on a call.
- I'm on a call.
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Thank you.
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00:07:42,958 --> 00:07:47,930
But-but M-Mom! Th-The other
k-kids are gonna w-watch them.
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00:07:49,097 --> 00:07:51,475
Honey, I don't think you'd
really enjoy the Saw movies.
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Remember when we went to see Avatar...
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and you spent the last two hours
164
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with your head inside my purse?
165
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I-I-I was l-looking for the gum.
166
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I'm right here.
167
00:08:01,209 --> 00:08:02,779
I can't believe it.
My computer just crashed.
168
00:08:02,944 --> 00:08:04,446
I'll have to call you right back.
169
00:08:04,646 --> 00:08:07,593
Barker, can we discuss
some of the many other possibilities...
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00:08:07,782 --> 00:08:10,991
for today's wardrobe,
including some involving pants?
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00:08:11,186 --> 00:08:12,987
Honey, can I talk to you outside
for a second?
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Sure. I have nothing but time.
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D-Dad? C-Can I watch the Saw movies?
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Sure.
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Yeah!
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Wait. That's way inappropriate.
177
00:08:28,569 --> 00:08:29,843
What's up?
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00:08:34,141 --> 00:08:35,814
That was nice. Like a little mini date.
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Crazy year, right?
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I mean, the whole thing.
Moving to Atlanta for my job.
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Yeah, it's had its challenges.
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00:08:41,815 --> 00:08:44,056
Well, guess what.
That was my boss on the phone...
183
00:08:44,251 --> 00:08:45,855
and the H-life has been nominated
184
00:08:45,953 --> 00:08:48,331
for "Best New Product of the Year."
185
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That's fantastic!
186
00:08:52,493 --> 00:08:54,973
I know! They're flying us both next week.
187
00:08:55,162 --> 00:08:58,575
Five days of lectures
and networking and love.
188
00:08:59,199 --> 00:09:00,701
Saturday is Harper's audition.
189
00:09:00,901 --> 00:09:01,879
Yeah, but it's at night.
190
00:09:02,069 --> 00:09:03,509
We'll fly back early. We'll make it.
191
00:09:03,537 --> 00:09:04,845
Also, Turner has speech therapy.
192
00:09:05,039 --> 00:09:06,449
I have to buy Harper a dress
for the audition.
193
00:09:06,639 --> 00:09:08,050
We're supposed
to take the kids to the symphony...
194
00:09:08,241 --> 00:09:10,881
Honey, we haven't had a
vacation since Barker was born.
195
00:09:11,077 --> 00:09:13,182
That's five years.
196
00:09:13,279 --> 00:09:15,953
This conversation is the longest we've been
alone in months.
197
00:09:16,149 --> 00:09:18,720
So, great.
I'll call my parents, they'll fly down.
198
00:09:18,918 --> 00:09:21,421
They'll be happy
to watch the kids while we're gone.
199
00:09:26,225 --> 00:09:28,603
A cruise. What cruise?
200
00:09:28,795 --> 00:09:31,469
The one that we bought them
for their 40th anniversary.
201
00:09:31,664 --> 00:09:33,871
I said just get them matching tracksuits.
202
00:09:34,067 --> 00:09:36,809
Look, we'll figure something out, okay?
203
00:09:37,770 --> 00:09:41,240
Well, we could always call your parents.
204
00:09:48,414 --> 00:09:49,392
Oh, you're serious.
205
00:09:49,582 --> 00:09:52,791
Yeah. They haven't seen the kids
in what, a year?
206
00:09:53,586 --> 00:09:56,590
Ten months is not quite a year.
207
00:09:57,290 --> 00:09:58,098
Call them.
208
00:10:04,529 --> 00:10:06,440
- They're not coming.
- Don't you need to talk to them first?
209
00:10:06,631 --> 00:10:09,510
You know that they're just going to
say that they can't make it.
210
00:10:10,268 --> 00:10:11,440
What? What?
211
00:10:12,370 --> 00:10:13,508
- What?
- The itch.
212
00:10:13,705 --> 00:10:16,276
You're kidding.
You're getting your "Artie and Diane Rash"?
213
00:10:16,475 --> 00:10:19,581
Have you forgotten how they disapprove
of the way that we parent?
214
00:10:19,778 --> 00:10:24,022
My father doesn't listen.
My mother, she's a tornado with lipstick.
215
00:10:24,549 --> 00:10:27,189
Alice, we need this vacation.
216
00:10:27,385 --> 00:10:28,455
And as you know...
217
00:10:29,588 --> 00:10:33,297
who's going to be with you
in the Hilton Head?
218
00:10:34,559 --> 00:10:35,503
Nigel?
219
00:10:35,694 --> 00:10:36,672
That's right.
220
00:10:37,329 --> 00:10:40,640
In fact, have you heard me new song?
221
00:10:41,767 --> 00:10:45,806
I'm gonna lave you
till the police come
222
00:10:47,572 --> 00:10:50,212
Anything for you, Nigel.
223
00:10:52,343 --> 00:10:54,653
Carl flushed my pillow down the toilet.
224
00:10:54,845 --> 00:10:57,519
Toilet overflowing.
Bathroom flooded.
225
00:10:57,715 --> 00:11:00,389
Okay, I'll call my parents.
226
00:11:06,123 --> 00:11:08,763
Artie, pick up the phone!
227
00:11:10,561 --> 00:11:12,097
What are you doing?
228
00:11:12,296 --> 00:11:14,606
I can't hear you, the phone's ringing.
229
00:11:15,733 --> 00:11:16,711
- Hello?
- Hi, Dad.
230
00:11:16,901 --> 00:11:18,676
- Alice, how are you?
- Is Mom around?
231
00:11:18,869 --> 00:11:20,849
Yeah, hold on, I'll get her.
232
00:11:21,038 --> 00:11:21,914
Your daughter.
233
00:11:22,106 --> 00:11:23,066
Put her on speakerphone.
234
00:11:23,207 --> 00:11:25,016
Don't tell her I was fired.
235
00:11:27,645 --> 00:11:29,056
- Oh, my.
- I got it.
236
00:11:29,246 --> 00:11:30,384
- Put her on hold.
- I know.
237
00:11:30,581 --> 00:11:31,525
- Put her on hold.
- I'm trying.
238
00:11:31,715 --> 00:11:32,625
- Put her on hold.
- I can't.
239
00:11:32,817 --> 00:11:34,262
- Put her on hold.
- You're making me tense.
240
00:11:34,451 --> 00:11:35,486
Now, put her on hold.
241
00:11:35,653 --> 00:11:36,723
It's right there.
242
00:11:36,921 --> 00:11:38,298
I'm gonna start a fire, here.
243
00:11:38,556 --> 00:11:40,729
Hi, Alice, what's going on?
244
00:11:40,925 --> 00:11:45,395
Well, now that you ask...
245
00:11:46,596 --> 00:11:49,941
Phil has to go away next week and
I'd really like to go with him.
246
00:11:50,133 --> 00:11:51,908
And we need someone to watch the kids,
247
00:11:52,068 --> 00:11:53,843
so I was wandering, would you want ta?
248
00:11:54,037 --> 00:11:55,516
No. No.
249
00:11:55,872 --> 00:11:57,283
We'd love to!
250
00:11:57,607 --> 00:11:59,018
Listen, I'm cooking dinner.
251
00:11:59,209 --> 00:12:01,746
I'll call you back in a
little bit for the details.
252
00:12:02,645 --> 00:12:03,680
She said yes.
253
00:12:03,880 --> 00:12:04,790
You said yes.
254
00:12:04,981 --> 00:12:07,018
Artie, we practically
never see our grandchildren.
255
00:12:07,217 --> 00:12:08,287
We've never seen their new house.
256
00:12:08,484 --> 00:12:09,792
They've never been to Fresno.
257
00:12:09,986 --> 00:12:11,590
I just got fired. I'm licking my wounds.
258
00:12:11,788 --> 00:12:13,199
I'll lick them. Come on!
259
00:12:13,389 --> 00:12:14,800
They need someone to take care of the kids.
260
00:12:14,991 --> 00:12:16,334
Can't the house do it?
261
00:12:17,193 --> 00:12:18,695
We have one child.
262
00:12:18,895 --> 00:12:22,342
These three kids are the only
grandchildren we're ever going to have.
263
00:12:23,533 --> 00:12:26,946
I'm awkward around those kids.
I don't think they like me.
264
00:12:27,470 --> 00:12:29,848
Honey, they don't see you enough.
265
00:12:30,039 --> 00:12:32,542
They have to know you better
before they don't like you.
266
00:12:33,042 --> 00:12:35,989
No, but it's a real thing, Di.
And it all comes from Alice.
267
00:12:36,179 --> 00:12:37,714
Like the last time,
the little one left the house...
268
00:12:37,913 --> 00:12:39,193
wearing flippers and a bathrobe.
269
00:12:39,248 --> 00:12:42,661
Sol made a little joke.
I said, "This one, any hope for normal?"
270
00:12:42,851 --> 00:12:45,127
And I got this withering gaze.
271
00:12:45,320 --> 00:12:46,492
Like you're giving me now.
272
00:12:46,688 --> 00:12:48,668
Well, first of all...
273
00:12:48,857 --> 00:12:51,861
it might be a good thing
if you learned "the little one's" name.
274
00:12:52,060 --> 00:12:53,061
It's Barker.
275
00:12:56,732 --> 00:12:57,710
Di.
276
00:12:58,500 --> 00:13:01,413
Listen to me, I'm fragile right now.
277
00:13:01,603 --> 00:13:02,673
I need a job.
278
00:13:02,871 --> 00:13:05,408
I don't need Alice's disapproval.
I'm not going.
279
00:13:05,607 --> 00:13:07,712
- You're going.
- That's what I meant.
280
00:13:10,012 --> 00:13:11,719
Her whole way of raising
her kids is a giant...
281
00:13:11,813 --> 00:13:13,520
in our face.
282
00:13:14,182 --> 00:13:16,321
It's her generation. It's just their way.
283
00:13:17,719 --> 00:13:19,392
Hey, what are you looking for, sailor?
284
00:13:19,588 --> 00:13:22,535
If you haven't found
it yet, it's not there. I'll help you out.
285
00:13:26,028 --> 00:13:27,735
- Come on!
- He's not done groping.
286
00:13:29,398 --> 00:13:31,604
And could she
have found anyone less like me to marry?
287
00:13:32,099 --> 00:13:34,841
What's your
problem with Phil? He's such a sweet guy.
288
00:13:35,036 --> 00:13:37,539
He is sweet. I think he breastfed the kids.
289
00:13:38,239 --> 00:13:39,513
Perfect, it's raining.
290
00:13:39,707 --> 00:13:41,827
Scattered showers, honey.
It'll be over in 20 minutes.
291
00:13:41,976 --> 00:13:42,954
It's an omen.
292
00:13:43,144 --> 00:13:45,090
- What's it an omen of?
- Impending doom.
293
00:13:45,279 --> 00:13:47,054
- I have a great idea.
- What's that?
294
00:13:47,248 --> 00:13:48,090
Shut up!
295
00:13:48,582 --> 00:13:49,890
I'll think about it.
296
00:13:50,952 --> 00:13:52,932
- You know what grandparenting is?
- What?
297
00:13:53,120 --> 00:13:54,258
A second chance.
298
00:13:56,490 --> 00:13:58,401
That's pretty good.
299
00:13:58,592 --> 00:14:00,232
- And you know what Alice told me?
- What?
300
00:14:00,294 --> 00:14:03,434
The kids are over-the-moon excited
about our coming.
301
00:14:03,631 --> 00:14:04,541
Why them?
302
00:14:04,732 --> 00:14:06,575
Because they're your grandparents
and they love you.
303
00:14:06,767 --> 00:14:08,769
D-Do we have to wear these?
304
00:14:09,303 --> 00:14:13,547
Well, Grandma made them.
And she thinks you like them.
305
00:14:13,941 --> 00:14:15,420
Why would she think that?
306
00:14:16,477 --> 00:14:17,888
Because I told her that you did.
307
00:14:18,079 --> 00:14:21,492
Look, it's going to be okay. I promise you.
308
00:14:21,682 --> 00:14:23,422
You know, they're very funny.
309
00:14:23,650 --> 00:14:25,926
Grandpa tells lots of jokes...
310
00:14:26,152 --> 00:14:27,790
that you won't get.
311
00:14:28,288 --> 00:14:30,768
So just laugh.
312
00:14:30,957 --> 00:14:34,837
Just laugh and I promise you
we'll get through this week.
313
00:14:35,328 --> 00:14:37,501
Remember, Mama loves you very much.
314
00:14:41,468 --> 00:14:43,141
They're here!
315
00:14:45,805 --> 00:14:47,182
Oh, no.
316
00:14:52,178 --> 00:14:53,350
Hi!
317
00:14:53,546 --> 00:14:54,456
Hi!
318
00:14:54,647 --> 00:14:55,853
This is a McStadium.
319
00:14:56,049 --> 00:14:57,585
Hey, thanks for coming.
320
00:14:57,784 --> 00:14:58,592
Hello, Phil.
321
00:14:58,785 --> 00:15:01,459
Oh, my goodness!
They're wearing their shirts.
322
00:15:01,654 --> 00:15:03,930
I told you, they love those shirts!
323
00:15:04,124 --> 00:15:05,501
Give me a kiss.
324
00:15:08,528 --> 00:15:09,973
I'm so excited.
325
00:15:10,163 --> 00:15:12,165
This one's gonna be prettier
than her grandma.
326
00:15:12,365 --> 00:15:13,776
- Harper.
- I know.
327
00:15:13,967 --> 00:15:15,946
How's the fiddle coming? Still fiddling?
328
00:15:16,301 --> 00:15:17,473
Hello, boys, still single?
329
00:15:21,707 --> 00:15:22,788
Mom, you brought groceries?
330
00:15:22,975 --> 00:15:23,919
You know Dad.
331
00:15:24,109 --> 00:15:26,248
He just wanted to make sure
you had food here for him.
332
00:15:26,445 --> 00:15:28,618
Okay, and toilet paper?
333
00:15:28,814 --> 00:15:31,488
Well, I know what I like. Aloe.
334
00:15:32,551 --> 00:15:34,258
Are those for us?
335
00:15:34,453 --> 00:15:35,989
Those are definitely for you!
336
00:15:36,188 --> 00:15:38,134
Yep. One for each of you.
337
00:15:38,323 --> 00:15:40,030
Here you go. And for you.
338
00:15:40,225 --> 00:15:42,671
S-Super Squirters! Awesome!
339
00:15:42,861 --> 00:15:43,771
You bought them guns.
340
00:15:43,962 --> 00:15:44,872
Yeah.
341
00:15:45,064 --> 00:15:47,977
Dad. We don't do guns.
342
00:15:48,200 --> 00:15:51,443
Hey, if you think
that's something, wait until you see this.
343
00:15:51,637 --> 00:15:53,708
This is classic Artie.
344
00:15:55,674 --> 00:15:58,484
Artie Decker bobbleheads.
345
00:15:58,677 --> 00:15:59,883
Here you go. Look at this?
346
00:16:00,079 --> 00:16:01,183
What do you say?
347
00:16:01,380 --> 00:16:03,621
That's creepy. Make it stop!
348
00:16:05,317 --> 00:16:06,387
Thank you, Grandpa.
349
00:16:06,585 --> 00:16:07,893
Th-Thank you, G-Grandpa.
350
00:16:08,086 --> 00:16:10,794
Hey, you know what?
Since we're all gonna be pals now...
351
00:16:10,988 --> 00:16:14,663
instead of calling me
"Grandpa," why don't you call me "Artie"?
352
00:16:14,859 --> 00:16:17,863
So it's "Grandma and Artie"
now? What are you, my boyfriend?
353
00:16:18,062 --> 00:16:19,564
No, listen. We went through
all those names last time.
354
00:16:19,764 --> 00:16:21,869
I don't want to be "Mup-Mup,"
or "Bup-Bup," or "Boop-Boop."
355
00:16:22,066 --> 00:16:23,170
Those are puppet names.
356
00:16:23,334 --> 00:16:26,577
My name is Artie.
Always been Artie. Call me Artie.
357
00:16:26,771 --> 00:16:28,580
Can I call you "Farty"?
358
00:16:29,173 --> 00:16:30,516
That's not a name, dope.
359
00:16:30,708 --> 00:16:34,212
Hey, that was a put-down.
You owe me three put-ups.
360
00:16:34,745 --> 00:16:37,089
I like your shoes.
I like your shirt. I like your hair.
361
00:16:37,281 --> 00:16:38,055
Let's go inside.
362
00:16:38,249 --> 00:16:39,284
You guys all have to change because
363
00:16:39,450 --> 00:16:40,485
we're going out for dinner. Come on.
364
00:16:40,685 --> 00:16:41,993
Get the bags, Farty.
365
00:16:46,557 --> 00:16:48,264
Alice, this is a beautiful house.
366
00:16:48,459 --> 00:16:49,369
Thank you.
367
00:16:49,560 --> 00:16:51,096
- It's a prototype.
- Prototype?
368
00:16:51,295 --> 00:16:55,209
Welcome, Alice and Phil and Harper
and Turner and Barker and...
369
00:16:56,400 --> 00:16:58,004
two unidentified guests.
370
00:16:58,202 --> 00:16:59,272
But that's not strange.
371
00:16:59,470 --> 00:17:00,278
It's the H-life.
372
00:17:00,471 --> 00:17:03,007
It's Phil's invention.
It's what he's worked on all this time.
373
00:17:04,207 --> 00:17:07,086
This is the brain center
to this fully automated...
374
00:17:07,277 --> 00:17:09,450
voice-activated, prototype smart house.
375
00:17:09,646 --> 00:17:12,092
And I'm just going to enter you two
into the system right now.
376
00:17:12,282 --> 00:17:13,522
All right.
377
00:17:14,951 --> 00:17:16,453
Beam me up.
378
00:17:16,653 --> 00:17:17,927
You all get these portables...
379
00:17:18,121 --> 00:17:21,591
and if there are any problems,
Turner understands the whole system.
380
00:17:21,992 --> 00:17:22,868
Turner does?
381
00:17:23,059 --> 00:17:25,198
Well, if Turner can do it,
I certainly can't.
382
00:17:26,763 --> 00:17:28,606
Alice, this is so beautiful.
383
00:17:29,166 --> 00:17:31,612
How's work, Dad? How's your season?
384
00:17:31,801 --> 00:17:34,247
Very good. Yeah, we had a good season.
385
00:17:34,437 --> 00:17:35,939
Yeah, a lot of good kids.
386
00:17:36,139 --> 00:17:37,777
You know, your dad still signs off
387
00:17:37,941 --> 00:17:39,579
every broadcast, "Lights out, Alice."
388
00:17:39,776 --> 00:17:41,722
- Really?
- Yeah.
389
00:17:42,012 --> 00:17:43,373
See, when Alice was a little girl,
390
00:17:43,446 --> 00:17:44,754
I wasn't home a lot to put her to bed...
391
00:17:44,948 --> 00:17:46,393
so on the radio I would say...
392
00:17:46,583 --> 00:17:50,053
"Lights out, Alice,"
and it sort of stuck, you know?
393
00:17:50,487 --> 00:17:51,397
That's really nice.
394
00:17:51,555 --> 00:17:52,465
Yeah.
395
00:17:53,256 --> 00:17:54,256
I thought so.
396
00:17:54,924 --> 00:17:55,925
What's this?
397
00:17:57,159 --> 00:17:58,399
It's some photos.
398
00:18:02,298 --> 00:18:03,777
Pipi and Papi look great.
399
00:18:04,967 --> 00:18:05,809
Yeah.
400
00:18:06,001 --> 00:18:07,571
Here you are.
401
00:18:07,736 --> 00:18:09,306
Oh, yeah.
402
00:18:09,505 --> 00:18:10,677
I took that picture!
403
00:18:10,839 --> 00:18:12,045
That was a great day, yeah.
404
00:18:12,241 --> 00:18:13,879
Farty wet his pants!
405
00:18:14,076 --> 00:18:16,147
Barker, indoor voice.
406
00:18:16,478 --> 00:18:19,459
Farty wet his pants! Farty wet his pants!
407
00:18:22,751 --> 00:18:23,923
Guns.
408
00:18:24,119 --> 00:18:25,462
Guns.
409
00:18:28,857 --> 00:18:31,337
That's so hot!
What are you doing? It's too hot!
410
00:18:31,527 --> 00:18:34,064
Here, do it yourself.
411
00:18:35,364 --> 00:18:37,173
What's the matter?
412
00:18:39,068 --> 00:18:41,014
- Do you realize what we are?
- What?
413
00:18:41,370 --> 00:18:42,940
We're the "other" grandparents.
414
00:18:43,138 --> 00:18:44,549
We can't be all four.
415
00:18:44,740 --> 00:18:45,946
I'm serious.
416
00:18:46,141 --> 00:18:47,462
They have their real grandparents
417
00:18:47,609 --> 00:18:48,952
that they love and put up on the mantle...
418
00:18:49,143 --> 00:18:51,020
and then there's us.
419
00:18:51,212 --> 00:18:53,522
And who's putting those pictures
on the mantle?
420
00:18:53,715 --> 00:18:57,253
Our daughter. She is not
sticking up for us.
421
00:18:57,452 --> 00:19:00,592
I don't think the kids
even know what I do. Or did.
422
00:19:00,788 --> 00:19:02,324
Look, Artie, I know you're upset
423
00:19:02,523 --> 00:19:04,127
about getting kicked in your career...
424
00:19:04,325 --> 00:19:05,895
but we need to focus, buddy.
425
00:19:06,094 --> 00:19:07,732
Our grandchildren are going to love me.
426
00:19:07,929 --> 00:19:09,909
- What about me?
- That's your problem.
427
00:19:18,940 --> 00:19:20,942
Welcome!
428
00:19:25,546 --> 00:19:27,048
- New people.
- Hello.
429
00:19:27,248 --> 00:19:29,125
These are my parents.
They're going to watch the kids this week.
430
00:19:29,317 --> 00:19:30,887
Welcome to Healthy Tiger.
431
00:19:31,085 --> 00:19:33,190
All healthy Pan Asian food.
432
00:19:33,388 --> 00:19:34,093
What's that?
433
00:19:34,289 --> 00:19:36,530
No MSG, no gluten, no sodium.
434
00:19:36,724 --> 00:19:38,897
Just healthy food.
435
00:19:40,727 --> 00:19:42,104
I'm drooling already.
436
00:19:42,296 --> 00:19:44,298
Pan Asian, just like me!
437
00:19:44,498 --> 00:19:45,806
My mother's Japanese,
my father's Chinese...
438
00:19:45,999 --> 00:19:48,479
my kids are Korean
and they go to Hebrew day school.
439
00:19:48,669 --> 00:19:50,410
Oy vey
440
00:19:50,604 --> 00:19:52,413
Come on. Yeah!
441
00:19:52,606 --> 00:19:55,280
How do you ruin Chinese food?
442
00:19:55,809 --> 00:19:56,981
Okay.
443
00:19:58,412 --> 00:19:59,789
We seem to have an empty chair.
444
00:19:59,980 --> 00:20:01,220
No, no, that chair is for Carl.
445
00:20:01,248 --> 00:20:03,057
- Who's Carl?
- Barker's friend.
446
00:20:03,250 --> 00:20:04,593
How nice. When's he coming?
447
00:20:04,785 --> 00:20:06,093
He's already here.
448
00:20:06,286 --> 00:20:08,391
Hi, Carl. You look great.
449
00:20:08,588 --> 00:20:10,158
Did you get a haircut?
450
00:20:11,625 --> 00:20:12,603
Tell him.
451
00:20:13,493 --> 00:20:16,303
Carl is Barker's imaginary friend.
452
00:20:16,496 --> 00:20:17,804
He's a kangaroo.
453
00:20:18,532 --> 00:20:20,172
Maybe we should have eaten
at the Outback.
454
00:20:26,807 --> 00:20:28,616
Kids, go wash your hands.
455
00:20:28,942 --> 00:20:31,718
Come on, Carl.
456
00:20:31,912 --> 00:20:33,720
Bye, Farty.
457
00:20:34,914 --> 00:20:36,757
He's in a real
"testing the boundaries" phase.
458
00:20:36,949 --> 00:20:39,828
Plus, he's also a little constipated.
459
00:20:40,453 --> 00:20:41,733
Now, you're talking my language.
460
00:20:41,754 --> 00:20:43,631
I have some stuff that will blow his mind.
461
00:20:43,823 --> 00:20:45,343
They used it to blast out the Chunnel.
462
00:20:45,458 --> 00:20:46,960
Thank you, Lord Arthur.
463
00:20:47,159 --> 00:20:49,298
Now, do you have any
special instructions for us?
464
00:20:49,495 --> 00:20:51,615
Like, what the kids like to do,
what they like to eat.
465
00:20:51,630 --> 00:20:53,268
Yes, Mom, great. Thank you.
466
00:20:53,466 --> 00:20:55,742
First of all, they don't eat any sugar.
467
00:20:55,935 --> 00:20:57,005
No Carvel?
468
00:20:57,203 --> 00:20:58,773
That's the saddest thing
I've ever heard in my life.
469
00:20:58,971 --> 00:21:01,247
We have tried to introduce
just a little bit of sugar...
470
00:21:01,440 --> 00:21:05,286
and it was like going off the rails
of the crazy train.
471
00:21:05,478 --> 00:21:06,821
My gosh!
472
00:21:07,012 --> 00:21:08,892
And there's another subject
I'd like to discuss.
473
00:21:08,981 --> 00:21:10,016
Sure, anything.
474
00:21:10,216 --> 00:21:11,126
Your language.
475
00:21:11,717 --> 00:21:13,663
He won't curse. I'll
break his freaking arm.
476
00:21:14,153 --> 00:21:16,099
That's great, but that's not what I meant.
477
00:21:16,288 --> 00:21:18,529
You see, there's a way
that we talk to our kids.
478
00:21:18,724 --> 00:21:20,704
For instance, where you would say "No"...
479
00:21:20,893 --> 00:21:23,271
we would say,
"Consider the consequences."
480
00:21:23,462 --> 00:21:25,031
Or where you would say, "Don't"...
481
00:21:25,230 --> 00:21:27,369
we would say, "Maybe you should try this."
482
00:21:27,899 --> 00:21:29,640
Or where you would say...
483
00:21:29,834 --> 00:21:31,871
"Quit your whining,
you're giving me a headache"...
484
00:21:32,070 --> 00:21:34,448
we would say, "Use your words."
485
00:21:34,639 --> 00:21:36,084
You see, that way, the child feels
486
00:21:36,241 --> 00:21:37,720
that he has value, he has worth.
487
00:21:37,909 --> 00:21:39,547
He is heard.
488
00:21:40,345 --> 00:21:41,323
It's a way.
489
00:21:43,381 --> 00:21:44,189
Let's order.
490
00:21:45,250 --> 00:21:46,058
Great.
491
00:21:48,019 --> 00:21:49,657
That's very good, but if you stay
492
00:21:49,821 --> 00:21:51,459
inside the lines, it looks better.
493
00:21:51,656 --> 00:21:53,329
Here, look at mine, see?
494
00:21:53,525 --> 00:21:55,505
Dad, we don't really worry about lines.
495
00:21:55,927 --> 00:21:58,168
Honey, draw whatever
your imagination tells you.
496
00:21:58,363 --> 00:22:01,674
But what's the point
of having lines if you're just going to...?
497
00:22:01,866 --> 00:22:02,844
Artie.
498
00:22:04,536 --> 00:22:06,482
That's beautiful.
That's absolutely beautiful.
499
00:22:06,671 --> 00:22:07,979
It's very avant-garde.
500
00:22:08,173 --> 00:22:09,880
- Picasso.
- Exactly.
501
00:22:10,508 --> 00:22:12,920
You didn't finish your dinner.
You know the great thing about Chinese...
502
00:22:13,111 --> 00:22:17,082
I mean, Pan Asian food,
is that if you mush it all up it's...
503
00:22:19,450 --> 00:22:20,724
What happened?
504
00:22:20,918 --> 00:22:22,397
- What did you do?
- I don't know.
505
00:22:22,586 --> 00:22:24,998
He doesn't like his food to touch.
506
00:22:25,255 --> 00:22:26,735
I didn't know! Look, I'm un-smushing.
507
00:22:28,459 --> 00:22:30,837
There's so much un-smushed Pan Asian.
508
00:22:32,296 --> 00:22:34,071
- What?
- Use your words, Barker.
509
00:22:34,431 --> 00:22:36,001
Use your words.
510
00:22:36,200 --> 00:22:39,238
Farty ruined my food! Evil Farty.
511
00:22:39,436 --> 00:22:41,382
Evil Farty, what have you done?
512
00:22:43,140 --> 00:22:44,744
Mama! Dada!
513
00:22:44,942 --> 00:22:46,114
Don't go!
514
00:22:46,310 --> 00:22:47,254
I have to go.
515
00:22:47,411 --> 00:22:48,389
Don't go!
516
00:22:48,812 --> 00:22:50,223
Would you...? I'm trying to let go!
517
00:22:50,414 --> 00:22:51,552
Don't go!
518
00:22:52,649 --> 00:22:53,753
Don't go!
519
00:22:54,985 --> 00:22:56,362
D-Don't go!
520
00:22:56,553 --> 00:22:57,361
Just let go.
521
00:22:57,554 --> 00:22:58,794
He's just so strong.
522
00:22:58,989 --> 00:23:00,764
Let go, baby. Let go, baby.
523
00:23:00,991 --> 00:23:02,766
- Just get in the car.
- I am trying.
524
00:23:02,960 --> 00:23:04,564
Barker, honey, just...
525
00:23:04,761 --> 00:23:06,069
- Get in the car.
- I love you.
526
00:23:06,263 --> 00:23:07,173
I'm trying to get in the car!
527
00:23:07,331 --> 00:23:08,241
Get in the car.
528
00:23:08,432 --> 00:23:09,308
Bye.
529
00:23:09,500 --> 00:23:10,376
No!
530
00:23:10,766 --> 00:23:11,608
Drive.
531
00:23:11,801 --> 00:23:12,575
Bye, honeybun.
532
00:23:12,768 --> 00:23:14,042
Goodbye, goodbye.
533
00:23:14,237 --> 00:23:15,477
Honey, Stop!
534
00:23:15,671 --> 00:23:16,649
Bye.
535
00:23:17,974 --> 00:23:19,783
- Go.
- Yay!
536
00:23:20,176 --> 00:23:21,587
I'll be home really soon.
537
00:23:21,777 --> 00:23:22,983
No!
538
00:23:23,179 --> 00:23:25,921
Barker's hyperventilating.
Stop the car, please.
539
00:23:27,149 --> 00:23:28,594
- Go, go, go!
- Yay!
540
00:23:28,784 --> 00:23:31,424
Give me your worst, worst case scenario.
541
00:23:31,621 --> 00:23:33,658
Everybody dies.
542
00:23:34,991 --> 00:23:38,837
Then anything short of that will be
a happy surprise.
543
00:23:40,963 --> 00:23:42,169
Onward.
544
00:23:42,765 --> 00:23:44,608
- Really go now.
- No!
545
00:23:45,668 --> 00:23:47,272
Good heavens.
546
00:23:47,470 --> 00:23:49,882
Time for breakfast.
Come on, we got to get to school.
547
00:23:50,072 --> 00:23:53,178
Okay. Let's get this party started!
548
00:23:53,376 --> 00:23:54,821
It's going to be great!
It's going to be awesome!
549
00:23:55,011 --> 00:23:56,456
We are going to have so much fun.
550
00:23:56,646 --> 00:23:59,126
This is going to be
the best week of your life!
551
00:23:59,315 --> 00:24:00,293
- Right, Artie?
- Sure thing, Regis.
552
00:24:00,483 --> 00:24:04,555
Okay. Here we go.
Let's go, let's go, let's go.
553
00:24:04,753 --> 00:24:06,494
Oh, my gosh.
554
00:24:07,155 --> 00:24:09,533
This is it, right?
555
00:24:09,724 --> 00:24:12,728
Yeah. I'll see you on the other side.
556
00:24:15,397 --> 00:24:17,206
These are done.
557
00:24:17,399 --> 00:24:19,037
Hot skillet! Sorry.
558
00:24:19,234 --> 00:24:21,214
All right. Here are your sausages.
559
00:24:21,403 --> 00:24:22,507
Soysages.
560
00:24:22,704 --> 00:24:24,809
Soysages? What are you, from the Bronx?
561
00:24:25,006 --> 00:24:26,766
Did Mom leave my
eggless egg salad for lunch?
562
00:24:26,908 --> 00:24:28,649
Eggless egg salad?
How would I recognize it?
563
00:24:28,843 --> 00:24:30,345
The toast is ready.
564
00:24:30,545 --> 00:24:31,585
Di, we have to make lunch!
565
00:24:31,780 --> 00:24:34,260
I know. It's on the counter.
Make the sandwiches.
566
00:24:34,449 --> 00:24:36,326
All right. My waffles, my waffles!
567
00:24:37,686 --> 00:24:38,596
I got it.
568
00:24:41,056 --> 00:24:43,161
Five second rule. Got it.
569
00:24:43,358 --> 00:24:46,896
N-Not too much almond milk
in the c-cereal. It g-gets too wet.
570
00:24:47,095 --> 00:24:48,369
Is this the right amount?
571
00:24:48,530 --> 00:24:49,565
Well, eat fast.
572
00:24:50,432 --> 00:24:52,036
Okay. Here you go.
573
00:24:52,233 --> 00:24:53,576
You have to cut up the berries...
574
00:24:53,768 --> 00:24:56,771
and put one piece in each hole
in the multigrain waffle.
575
00:24:56,971 --> 00:24:58,245
This food can touch?
576
00:24:58,472 --> 00:24:59,951
Eggless egg salad coming up.
577
00:25:00,140 --> 00:25:02,586
Okay, put the lettuce,
hit it with the lettuce.
578
00:25:02,776 --> 00:25:03,777
It's fine, they will never know.
579
00:25:03,978 --> 00:25:05,753
No crust, no crust.
580
00:25:05,946 --> 00:25:07,666
Now there's no sandwich.
Look what you made.
581
00:25:10,117 --> 00:25:13,064
I like them, Carl likes them. Right, Carl?
582
00:25:13,253 --> 00:25:16,928
And your opinion has value.
And, what's the other one?
583
00:25:17,124 --> 00:25:17,932
Worth.
584
00:25:18,125 --> 00:25:21,231
But I know from experience
that wearing heels can be tricky.
585
00:25:21,428 --> 00:25:22,634
Especially during recess.
586
00:25:22,830 --> 00:25:25,538
Wouldn't you and Carl
both be more comfortable in sneakers?
587
00:25:25,733 --> 00:25:26,643
No.
588
00:25:26,834 --> 00:25:28,643
Hey, what's going on?
We are going to be late.
589
00:25:30,437 --> 00:25:32,144
It's Project Hun way.
590
00:25:32,339 --> 00:25:34,649
I tried handling
it like Alice said, but it's not working.
591
00:25:34,842 --> 00:25:36,583
All right, get the other two
in the car, I'll handle this.
592
00:25:36,777 --> 00:25:37,448
Artie.
593
00:25:37,645 --> 00:25:39,454
It's okay. Let me try.
594
00:25:42,650 --> 00:25:44,152
Take off those shoes
and I'll give you a dollar.
595
00:25:44,351 --> 00:25:45,421
- Five.
- Two-fifty.
596
00:25:45,619 --> 00:25:46,791
Deal.
597
00:25:47,655 --> 00:25:48,928
Just punch in "go to school."
598
00:25:49,122 --> 00:25:51,568
Why is this easier than
you just telling me how to get there?
599
00:25:51,758 --> 00:25:53,499
I heard that.
600
00:25:53,693 --> 00:25:56,071
Is he in there?
601
00:25:56,262 --> 00:25:57,536
It's Dad, and it's a recording.
602
00:25:57,697 --> 00:25:59,005
It's just a little family joke.
603
00:25:59,198 --> 00:26:02,145
Yeah, it's interesting
because, usually, jokes are funny.
604
00:26:02,335 --> 00:26:03,837
But hey, why kill time laughing?
605
00:26:04,037 --> 00:26:05,243
Okay, here you go.
606
00:26:05,438 --> 00:26:06,416
- Thank you.
- What?
607
00:26:06,606 --> 00:26:07,527
"Go garage." Go garage.
608
00:26:07,607 --> 00:26:08,551
Say it with force.
609
00:26:08,708 --> 00:26:09,686
Go garage. Go garage.
610
00:26:10,009 --> 00:26:11,454
Welcome back, Alice.
611
00:26:12,111 --> 00:26:13,181
Mommy!
612
00:26:13,379 --> 00:26:15,916
Alice, what happened? Where's Phil?
613
00:26:16,115 --> 00:26:17,185
He's on his way to the airport.
614
00:26:17,350 --> 00:26:18,420
I'm going to meet him in a few hours.
615
00:26:18,618 --> 00:26:19,528
There's an 8:00 flight tonight.
616
00:26:19,719 --> 00:26:20,459
But...
617
00:26:20,653 --> 00:26:21,653
One of my clients called.
618
00:26:21,654 --> 00:26:23,574
They need me to update
their website immediately.
619
00:26:23,723 --> 00:26:25,044
Can't it wait until you get back?
620
00:26:25,158 --> 00:26:27,604
No, it's ESPN.
There's a crisis with the X Games.
621
00:26:27,794 --> 00:26:28,864
You work for ESPN?
622
00:26:29,062 --> 00:26:31,622
Yeah, I'm one of their web
designers. Honey, get in the backseat.
623
00:26:31,731 --> 00:26:33,369
Really? I didn't know that.
624
00:26:34,033 --> 00:26:37,276
It's interesting. ESPN. Really?
625
00:26:39,539 --> 00:26:40,381
Nice school.
626
00:26:40,573 --> 00:26:42,347
How long have you been working for ESPN?
627
00:26:42,541 --> 00:26:43,645
About five years.
628
00:26:43,842 --> 00:26:45,219
Really?
629
00:26:48,180 --> 00:26:49,955
Turner...
630
00:26:50,148 --> 00:26:51,991
Artie is going to pick
you up after school...
631
00:26:52,184 --> 00:26:54,186
and take you to speech therapy today.
632
00:26:54,386 --> 00:26:56,832
Wh-Wh-Where are you-you going to be?
633
00:26:57,022 --> 00:26:58,899
Grandma and I are going
to buy Harper a dress.
634
00:26:59,091 --> 00:27:00,229
Great.
635
00:27:00,425 --> 00:27:01,199
Have a good day, you two.
636
00:27:01,393 --> 00:27:02,565
See you later.
637
00:27:02,761 --> 00:27:04,401
I can't believe I'm going to get a tardy.
638
00:27:04,429 --> 00:27:05,931
Six tardies are an absent.
639
00:27:06,131 --> 00:27:07,235
How many does this make?
640
00:27:07,432 --> 00:27:08,570
One.
641
00:27:09,935 --> 00:27:12,211
Does she seem a little tightly wound?
642
00:27:12,404 --> 00:27:15,351
You know, she has HAS.
High Achievement Syndrome.
643
00:27:15,540 --> 00:27:16,518
Did you make that up?
644
00:27:16,708 --> 00:27:17,743
Yes.
645
00:27:17,943 --> 00:27:18,921
Hurry up, I can't get a tardy.
646
00:27:19,111 --> 00:27:22,285
I know she's a little tightly wound.
But we're working on it.
647
00:27:22,481 --> 00:27:24,586
Work on it soon before she explodes.
648
00:27:25,917 --> 00:27:30,559
W-W-Watch where you're going,
Tu-Tu-Tu-Turner.
649
00:27:30,956 --> 00:27:32,697
S-S-Sorry.
650
00:27:34,192 --> 00:27:35,898
Hey, did you see that?
651
00:27:36,093 --> 00:27:37,731
Dad, no. No.
652
00:27:37,928 --> 00:27:39,339
Turner's therapist says that he has
653
00:27:39,497 --> 00:27:41,017
to work out peer conflicts on his own.
654
00:27:41,132 --> 00:27:42,110
He has a therapist?
655
00:27:42,299 --> 00:27:44,540
He had one,
and now he has a new one, Dr. Jimmy.
656
00:27:44,735 --> 00:27:45,941
Also a kid?
657
00:27:46,137 --> 00:27:46,911
No.
658
00:27:48,606 --> 00:27:50,745
ESPN again. I need to get to a Wi-Fi.
659
00:27:50,941 --> 00:27:52,443
Maybe I can use the one here.
660
00:27:52,643 --> 00:27:54,083
Go ahead, I'll get Barker to school.
661
00:27:54,211 --> 00:27:55,189
Are you sure?
662
00:27:55,379 --> 00:27:56,619
Sure. What's the problem?
663
00:27:56,814 --> 00:27:58,088
Okay.
664
00:27:58,783 --> 00:27:59,761
Got the H-life.
665
00:28:00,284 --> 00:28:02,764
But then pick me up here.
Don't leave me stranded.
666
00:28:02,953 --> 00:28:04,364
Have I ever left you stranded?
667
00:28:04,555 --> 00:28:05,966
Four times when I was a kid.
668
00:28:06,157 --> 00:28:08,364
I love how you remember everything.
669
00:28:20,104 --> 00:28:21,242
Okay, Barker, hop out.
670
00:28:21,438 --> 00:28:23,213
I can't. I'm still buckled in.
671
00:28:23,407 --> 00:28:24,215
Carl, unbuckle him.
672
00:28:24,408 --> 00:28:26,820
Hello? He's at a doctor's appointment.
673
00:28:27,677 --> 00:28:29,452
Stupid me. Okay.
674
00:28:36,586 --> 00:28:38,626
Boy, this is harder than
one of your grandma's bras.
675
00:28:38,788 --> 00:28:39,789
I'm going to be late.
676
00:28:39,989 --> 00:28:41,798
I'm tr...
677
00:28:43,927 --> 00:28:46,737
It works, okay? Your horn works.
678
00:28:50,800 --> 00:28:52,939
I won't need this by the time you're done.
679
00:28:58,708 --> 00:29:01,154
Here you go. Here.
680
00:29:01,344 --> 00:29:03,824
Careful, he's a runner.
681
00:29:04,781 --> 00:29:07,284
Bye, Farty.
682
00:29:09,652 --> 00:29:11,529
One second.
683
00:29:11,721 --> 00:29:13,428
- Hey, Ash.
- Hey, Cody.
684
00:29:13,623 --> 00:29:15,296
- Did you get my Evite?
- Yep, I'm coming.
685
00:29:15,491 --> 00:29:16,970
Cool.
686
00:29:18,127 --> 00:29:20,299
This is my friend, Harper. This is Cody.
687
00:29:20,495 --> 00:29:21,838
- Hey.
- Hi.
688
00:29:22,464 --> 00:29:24,535
I'm having this birthday
thing Friday night.
689
00:29:24,800 --> 00:29:26,677
There's going to be a DJ, and my parents
690
00:29:26,835 --> 00:29:28,712
promised not to be ridiculously lame.
691
00:29:28,904 --> 00:29:30,110
Right. Parents.
692
00:29:30,305 --> 00:29:33,878
So, if you want to swing by,
that would be pretty cool.
693
00:29:38,146 --> 00:29:39,682
I can't.
694
00:29:40,916 --> 00:29:44,329
I got this thing the next day.
695
00:29:44,519 --> 00:29:46,055
- She has a thing.
- I got a thing.
696
00:29:46,255 --> 00:29:47,825
Okay. That's cool.
697
00:29:48,023 --> 00:29:49,366
Yeah. No, it's super cool.
698
00:29:49,558 --> 00:29:51,538
Well, if you change your mind,
just, you know...
699
00:29:51,727 --> 00:29:53,206
Yeah. Totally, I'll...
700
00:29:53,395 --> 00:29:54,373
Cool.
701
00:29:54,930 --> 00:29:56,136
Bye.
702
00:29:58,567 --> 00:29:59,307
Stop it.
703
00:30:01,703 --> 00:30:03,011
Microwave on.
704
00:30:03,205 --> 00:30:04,206
Garbage disposal on.
705
00:30:06,174 --> 00:30:07,744
Vacuum cleaner on.
706
00:30:09,478 --> 00:30:10,998
Oh, please, just let me do the dishes.
707
00:30:11,880 --> 00:30:14,223
Welcome back, Artie Decker.
708
00:30:15,750 --> 00:30:16,694
What a morning.
709
00:30:16,884 --> 00:30:19,387
It's 9 AM, I need a martini.
710
00:30:19,587 --> 00:30:20,861
Tell me something.
711
00:30:21,489 --> 00:30:22,832
Did you believe that story?
712
00:30:23,024 --> 00:30:25,231
Absolutely not. What story?
713
00:30:25,426 --> 00:30:27,201
Alice's work emergency.
714
00:30:27,295 --> 00:30:28,365
You think she was lying?
715
00:30:28,562 --> 00:30:30,667
Why couldn't that
work have been done at Hilton Head?
716
00:30:30,865 --> 00:30:33,038
It's like she doesn't
trust us with her kids.
717
00:30:33,234 --> 00:30:34,838
Like she thinks we're idiots.
718
00:30:35,770 --> 00:30:37,545
By the way, where is she?
719
00:30:48,115 --> 00:30:49,423
Where have you been?
720
00:30:52,019 --> 00:30:53,692
I know.
721
00:31:01,796 --> 00:31:03,397
You know, Harper, when I was your age...
722
00:31:03,564 --> 00:31:06,009
this was my favorite time of the day,
right after school.
723
00:31:06,199 --> 00:31:07,337
Why, what did you do?
724
00:31:07,534 --> 00:31:08,774
We used to go to my friend Heidi's house...
725
00:31:08,969 --> 00:31:11,381
put on her mother's clothes,
blast music and smoke.
726
00:31:11,538 --> 00:31:12,949
Mom!
727
00:31:13,039 --> 00:31:15,019
Don't smoke. Don't smoke.
728
00:31:24,217 --> 00:31:26,128
Oh, Lulu, that was so great.
729
00:31:26,319 --> 00:31:28,199
Honey, you're really
starting to take control...
730
00:31:28,321 --> 00:31:31,029
and literally holding the reins.
731
00:31:31,224 --> 00:31:32,726
Okay, Turner...
732
00:31:33,059 --> 00:31:34,902
would you like to share?
733
00:31:51,277 --> 00:31:52,153
Good work, Turner.
734
00:31:53,313 --> 00:31:54,291
Awesome.
735
00:31:57,517 --> 00:31:59,587
Super job, Lulu. See you next week?
736
00:31:59,785 --> 00:32:00,923
Thank you.
737
00:32:03,155 --> 00:32:05,157
That was really awesome.
738
00:32:05,357 --> 00:32:06,961
I take it you're Turner's grandfather.
739
00:32:07,493 --> 00:32:08,494
Hi.
740
00:32:09,528 --> 00:32:10,336
I'm Artie Decker.
741
00:32:10,529 --> 00:32:12,236
Cassandra.
742
00:32:12,431 --> 00:32:14,172
You seem to be having some trouble
743
00:32:14,266 --> 00:32:15,973
embracing our program, am I right?
744
00:32:16,168 --> 00:32:18,273
Well, let me say first,
745
00:32:18,370 --> 00:32:20,407
that I have professional experience
in this area.
746
00:32:20,606 --> 00:32:22,745
Oh, wonderful.
Where did you receive your degree?
747
00:32:22,941 --> 00:32:24,011
Oh, no degree. No.
748
00:32:24,209 --> 00:32:27,520
I speak for a living.
I'm a baseball announcer.
749
00:32:28,514 --> 00:32:31,927
Little different than a PhD
in speech therapy from Yale. Right?
750
00:32:32,484 --> 00:32:33,963
Right, Yeah.
751
00:32:34,653 --> 00:32:36,633
That's a point well taken.
752
00:32:36,822 --> 00:32:38,665
But on the other hand,
I sat here for almost an hour...
753
00:32:38,857 --> 00:32:41,599
and I saw these kids
do everything but speak.
754
00:32:41,794 --> 00:32:43,364
So, are you training them to be mimes?
755
00:32:43,562 --> 00:32:46,042
Because a lot of those jobs
are being shipped overseas.
756
00:32:52,703 --> 00:32:54,740
"I'm walking, but there's wind,
757
00:32:54,839 --> 00:32:56,819
"but there's no wind." You know?
758
00:32:58,342 --> 00:33:01,846
Okay. I am employing
the Houghton method.
759
00:33:02,046 --> 00:33:04,083
Now these kids, they're under
too much pressure to speak...
760
00:33:04,282 --> 00:33:07,456
so we make it very clear that in
here, they need not say a word.
761
00:33:07,652 --> 00:33:09,825
They're currently in a movement phase.
762
00:33:10,021 --> 00:33:10,999
Yeah, I saw that.
763
00:33:11,189 --> 00:33:13,499
They're moving everything but their lips.
764
00:33:13,691 --> 00:33:15,331
And he wears these ear buds all the time.
765
00:33:15,393 --> 00:33:16,667
What's that about?
766
00:33:16,861 --> 00:33:18,534
He is listening to the words
that he has trouble with...
767
00:33:18,729 --> 00:33:21,676
and then when
he's comfortable, he can repeat them.
768
00:33:21,866 --> 00:33:23,106
And it's helping him a lot.
769
00:33:23,301 --> 00:33:24,336
How can you tell?
770
00:33:24,735 --> 00:33:26,544
Listen, I haven't seen the kid in a year...
771
00:33:26,737 --> 00:33:28,876
and frankly, I don't see
any improvement at all.
772
00:33:29,073 --> 00:33:31,519
What I see is my grandson is now Flight 38
773
00:33:31,609 --> 00:33:33,316
from Salt Lake.
774
00:33:34,745 --> 00:33:36,019
Hey, Turner!
775
00:33:36,214 --> 00:33:38,214
Cassandra's just telling me
how great you're doing.
776
00:33:38,316 --> 00:33:41,024
She sees so much improvement. It's great.
777
00:33:44,154 --> 00:33:47,795
Sometimes I shouldn't move my lips.
I'm sorry.
778
00:33:52,028 --> 00:33:53,371
That's not bad.
779
00:33:53,563 --> 00:33:56,043
"Not bad"?
She looks like a 12-year-old widow.
780
00:33:57,000 --> 00:33:58,980
- I do?
- You do.
781
00:33:59,169 --> 00:34:01,843
But that's perfect
for a classical music program.
782
00:34:02,038 --> 00:34:03,745
Well, what about this?
783
00:34:03,940 --> 00:34:07,012
This is perfect for someone
with a cute little hiney.
784
00:34:07,544 --> 00:34:08,545
I love it.
785
00:34:08,745 --> 00:34:11,248
Mom, it's for a concert,
not to meet the fleet.
786
00:34:11,448 --> 00:34:14,258
Hey, it's an audition,
and all auditions are alike.
787
00:34:14,451 --> 00:34:15,759
"Get their attention!"
788
00:34:15,952 --> 00:34:17,488
You sell the sizzle, not the steak.
789
00:34:17,687 --> 00:34:19,488
That's how I got all
those weather girl jobs.
790
00:34:19,623 --> 00:34:21,398
So, are you a trained meteorologist?
791
00:34:21,591 --> 00:34:22,569
Trained?
792
00:34:22,759 --> 00:34:24,830
Oh, honey, I had a tight
dress and a pointer.
793
00:34:25,028 --> 00:34:26,439
I used to sing my forecasts.
794
00:34:26,630 --> 00:34:28,191
As a matter of fact, sometimes your mom
795
00:34:28,265 --> 00:34:30,370
used to sing them with me on TV.
796
00:34:30,567 --> 00:34:31,773
Mom, you never even told me that!
797
00:34:31,868 --> 00:34:32,869
I mentioned it.
798
00:34:33,069 --> 00:34:34,949
Remember our winter song?
That was our best one.
799
00:34:35,105 --> 00:34:36,311
No, I don't remember that one.
800
00:34:36,406 --> 00:34:37,406
Sure you do.
801
00:34:37,606 --> 00:34:38,846
We sang it 1,000 times.
802
00:34:39,041 --> 00:34:41,715
I love you. Come on, please.
No one's watching.
803
00:34:41,911 --> 00:34:42,855
Only for you.
804
00:34:43,045 --> 00:34:44,353
Ready?
805
00:34:44,547 --> 00:34:48,893
Button up your overcoat
in the wintry breeze
806
00:34:49,084 --> 00:34:53,055
Take good care of yourself
'cause it's nine degrees!
807
00:34:53,189 --> 00:34:54,691
Good job, Mom.
808
00:34:54,890 --> 00:34:55,766
Do the spin.
809
00:34:55,958 --> 00:34:58,768
Okay.
I'll never shop at Bloomingdale's again.
810
00:34:58,961 --> 00:35:00,736
You still got it, kiddo.
811
00:35:00,930 --> 00:35:02,603
That was great.
812
00:35:03,165 --> 00:35:04,701
All right, now...
813
00:35:04,900 --> 00:35:07,101
you've got to try this on.
I'm dying to see this on you.
814
00:35:07,269 --> 00:35:08,577
- Okay.
- Okay.
815
00:35:08,771 --> 00:35:12,981
Mom. She cannot wear
a cocktail dress to the audition.
816
00:35:13,175 --> 00:35:15,416
I'd like to feel that
you're listening to me.
817
00:35:15,611 --> 00:35:17,331
Oh, I'm sorry, honey.
Did you say something?
818
00:35:17,846 --> 00:35:18,620
No, no.
819
00:35:18,814 --> 00:35:20,760
Look at this. This is a hot little number.
820
00:35:22,518 --> 00:35:24,828
Oh, not for her. For me.
821
00:35:25,020 --> 00:35:26,795
Cue the band.
822
00:35:29,692 --> 00:35:32,194
Hey. What are you doing?
823
00:35:32,393 --> 00:35:33,872
Guarding the door.
824
00:35:34,062 --> 00:35:35,040
Can I go in?
825
00:35:35,230 --> 00:35:36,368
Not today, sir.
826
00:35:36,564 --> 00:35:37,599
Is he crying?
827
00:35:37,699 --> 00:35:39,940
He doesn't cry, he makes the face.
828
00:35:42,170 --> 00:35:43,706
I didn't mean to upset him.
829
00:35:43,905 --> 00:35:45,976
You should've used your exit shoes.
830
00:35:46,174 --> 00:35:46,811
My What?
831
00:35:47,008 --> 00:35:50,478
Exit shoes, to walk away
and not use a red voice.
832
00:35:50,678 --> 00:35:52,248
And a red voice is...?
833
00:35:52,447 --> 00:35:56,452
Super-mad sounding.
You shouldn't use it. Never.
834
00:35:56,651 --> 00:35:59,825
That's why you have a cool toolbox.
835
00:36:00,021 --> 00:36:02,194
It's where you keep your cool blue voice,
836
00:36:02,290 --> 00:36:04,429
your exit shoes and your repair squares.
837
00:36:05,026 --> 00:36:06,232
Where did you learn all this?
838
00:36:06,427 --> 00:36:07,337
Preschool.
839
00:36:07,528 --> 00:36:09,735
You mean, there are more kids like you?
840
00:36:09,931 --> 00:36:12,741
I'm doomed. All right, I'm going in there.
841
00:36:12,934 --> 00:36:14,311
What's in it for me?
842
00:36:19,774 --> 00:36:21,185
Thank you.
843
00:36:21,943 --> 00:36:23,512
The little capitalist.
844
00:36:27,447 --> 00:36:28,289
Hi, there.
845
00:36:28,482 --> 00:36:32,294
All right, so I am taking a repair
square out of my cool toolbox...
846
00:36:32,486 --> 00:36:35,262
to say in my blue voice, that I am sorry.
847
00:36:37,124 --> 00:36:38,102
So, are we good now?
848
00:36:38,392 --> 00:36:39,200
No.
849
00:36:39,393 --> 00:36:41,031
- Would you like five dollars?
- No.
850
00:36:41,228 --> 00:36:43,936
An unopened package
of men's size 34 underwear?
851
00:36:44,131 --> 00:36:44,939
No.
852
00:36:45,132 --> 00:36:46,975
Is there anything I can do
to make this right?
853
00:36:47,334 --> 00:36:50,474
W-Well, th-there is one thing.
854
00:36:56,576 --> 00:36:59,853
They made six of these?
855
00:37:00,247 --> 00:37:01,692
No.
856
00:37:02,115 --> 00:37:04,857
Now, this is Artie's idea of fun.
857
00:37:05,252 --> 00:37:07,664
Look at that.
858
00:37:07,854 --> 00:37:10,164
Who knew ice cream could be a cake?
859
00:37:10,357 --> 00:37:12,359
Yeah. All right, now here's the deal.
860
00:37:12,559 --> 00:37:13,936
Just little pieces...
861
00:37:14,127 --> 00:37:17,164
and you don't tell Mommy
about the movie...
862
00:37:17,363 --> 00:37:20,037
and I don't tell her about the cake.
863
00:37:20,232 --> 00:37:22,940
Okay? All right? Deal? Friends again?
864
00:37:23,069 --> 00:37:23,909
High five! All right.
865
00:37:24,904 --> 00:37:29,444
Incoming
message. Urgent e-mail from "E-spen. "
866
00:37:29,675 --> 00:37:31,552
ESPN...
867
00:37:39,051 --> 00:37:40,894
Pam Rosen.
868
00:37:42,888 --> 00:37:44,333
You guys okay?
869
00:37:44,657 --> 00:37:46,694
I will be right back.
870
00:37:55,668 --> 00:37:57,341
Ms. Pam Rosen, please.
871
00:37:57,536 --> 00:38:00,847
My name is Cal R. Life.
872
00:38:01,040 --> 00:38:05,489
Yeah. L-Y-P-H-E-T. The "T" is silent.
873
00:38:06,245 --> 00:38:08,986
What a great day.
It's like a birthday that came early.
874
00:38:09,180 --> 00:38:10,181
It was a great day.
875
00:38:10,382 --> 00:38:12,589
And my forecast for the rest of the week...
876
00:38:12,684 --> 00:38:13,856
Sunny, sunny, sunny.
877
00:38:14,052 --> 00:38:15,497
Back to you, Herb.
878
00:38:15,687 --> 00:38:17,894
Oh, it's your dad, I'll be right in.
879
00:38:18,089 --> 00:38:18,829
Hi!
880
00:38:19,023 --> 00:38:20,525
Today is your lucky day, Ms. Rosen.
881
00:38:20,725 --> 00:38:23,331
The catfish just jumped
right into your frying pan.
882
00:38:23,528 --> 00:38:25,906
Yeah, Artie Decker, "De Voice" is in town.
883
00:38:26,097 --> 00:38:28,509
He heard about your X Games
and he would love to audition.
884
00:38:28,700 --> 00:38:31,544
I'm just walking in.
Video chat me in 2 minutes, okay?
885
00:38:31,736 --> 00:38:34,342
Hi, Artie, we're back!
Did you have fun with the boys?
886
00:38:35,940 --> 00:38:38,546
Look at this place!
We're going to have to call FEMA!
887
00:38:38,743 --> 00:38:39,448
Cake.
888
00:38:39,644 --> 00:38:41,385
- Where's Artie?
- He left!
889
00:38:41,579 --> 00:38:42,557
He left?
890
00:38:42,747 --> 00:38:44,055
If your mother sees this...
891
00:38:44,249 --> 00:38:45,193
What's going on?
892
00:38:46,584 --> 00:38:48,086
Hi.
893
00:38:48,420 --> 00:38:49,421
What did you do?
894
00:38:49,621 --> 00:38:51,430
I just got here!
895
00:38:51,623 --> 00:38:52,931
You gave them cake?
896
00:38:53,124 --> 00:38:54,569
I gave them slivers.
897
00:38:54,759 --> 00:38:56,102
Why? Why, Artie?
898
00:38:56,394 --> 00:38:58,965
Because he upset Turner at Speech Class.
899
00:38:59,164 --> 00:39:00,124
- What?
- It was nothing.
900
00:39:00,331 --> 00:39:01,468
I just asked a question.
901
00:39:01,565 --> 00:39:03,045
"Why is nobody speaking?" That's all.
902
00:39:04,134 --> 00:39:05,442
Hello, lave!
903
00:39:05,636 --> 00:39:09,277
I can't wait for
you to get here, me little rabbit.
904
00:39:09,540 --> 00:39:12,020
Not now! My.
905
00:39:12,876 --> 00:39:14,878
Did he have a tattoo?
906
00:39:17,548 --> 00:39:18,458
Harper?
907
00:39:19,750 --> 00:39:22,196
Mom! You lied to me!
908
00:39:22,386 --> 00:39:24,093
Yogurt is not like ice cream!
909
00:39:24,188 --> 00:39:25,223
No, honey.
910
00:39:27,925 --> 00:39:28,733
Baby?
911
00:39:29,927 --> 00:39:31,736
- My favorite!
- Harper!
912
00:39:37,601 --> 00:39:41,913
This perfectly sums up
your entire approach to parenting.
913
00:39:42,105 --> 00:39:43,083
We had an approach?
914
00:39:43,273 --> 00:39:44,251
I don't know.
915
00:39:44,441 --> 00:39:48,048
Would Artie and
Turner like to continue watching Saw?
916
00:39:48,245 --> 00:39:50,225
You must be mistaken.
917
00:39:50,414 --> 00:39:52,325
Saw, Rated R for strong graphic violence,
918
00:39:52,416 --> 00:39:53,622
nudity and language.
919
00:39:53,816 --> 00:39:54,817
No.
920
00:39:55,318 --> 00:39:56,626
Why did he give them cake?
921
00:39:56,919 --> 00:39:59,160
Because he does what he wants
and she defends him!
922
00:39:59,355 --> 00:40:00,390
Where are the kids now?
923
00:40:00,823 --> 00:40:03,235
Oh, I put them
on the treadmill until they calm down.
924
00:40:03,426 --> 00:40:05,929
I told you my parents cauldn't handle this.
925
00:40:06,128 --> 00:40:09,109
Maybe it's just a case
of first-day, worst-day.
926
00:40:10,299 --> 00:40:13,303
Hey. You better hurry up.
You're going to miss your flight.
927
00:40:13,503 --> 00:40:15,983
Honey, I don't think
that I should go today.
928
00:40:16,639 --> 00:40:18,039
Maybe I should go tomorrow morning.
929
00:40:18,140 --> 00:40:19,084
Okay. Yeah.
930
00:40:19,675 --> 00:40:21,245
We 'll still have four days together.
931
00:40:21,777 --> 00:40:22,585
Okay.
932
00:40:22,778 --> 00:40:23,984
You look good in cake.
933
00:40:29,385 --> 00:40:31,126
What in the world is wrong with you?
934
00:40:31,621 --> 00:40:32,827
What did I say?
935
00:40:33,022 --> 00:40:34,524
What did I say to you?
936
00:40:34,724 --> 00:40:35,845
Just talk to me. Don't yell.
937
00:40:36,025 --> 00:40:37,905
I said, "Artie,
this is a second chance for us."
938
00:40:38,027 --> 00:40:39,370
I said, "Artie, please behave."
939
00:40:39,562 --> 00:40:42,133
I said, "Artie, I really want
those kids to love us!"
940
00:40:42,331 --> 00:40:45,005
Or can't you remember
all the way back to yesterday?
941
00:40:45,201 --> 00:40:46,179
Okay, that's what I did.
942
00:40:46,369 --> 00:40:48,348
When the cake
went in their mouths they loved me!
943
00:40:48,537 --> 00:40:51,484
Yeah, and now Alice
doesn't want to leave us alone with them.
944
00:40:51,673 --> 00:40:52,651
She doesn't trust us!
945
00:40:52,841 --> 00:40:53,819
She said that?
946
00:40:54,009 --> 00:40:55,454
On the phone to Phil.
947
00:40:56,011 --> 00:40:58,651
I accidentally overheard her
when I was listening at the door.
948
00:40:59,080 --> 00:41:01,492
She thinks we're a pair of knuckleheads.
949
00:41:01,816 --> 00:41:03,193
Especially you!
950
00:41:06,555 --> 00:41:08,660
It's the bottom of the ninth, Artie.
951
00:41:08,857 --> 00:41:10,700
We're going to lose the game.
952
00:41:11,059 --> 00:41:12,333
Shape UP-
953
00:41:35,750 --> 00:41:37,354
Wonderful.
954
00:41:39,920 --> 00:41:41,160
Bravo.
955
00:41:42,222 --> 00:41:45,533
Harper, that was wonderful!
956
00:41:45,726 --> 00:41:46,704
I stunk.
957
00:41:46,894 --> 00:41:47,975
You most certainly did not!
958
00:41:49,797 --> 00:41:51,504
Wasn't she wonderful?
959
00:41:51,699 --> 00:41:52,507
No.
960
00:41:52,700 --> 00:41:54,873
This will not be good enough
for your audition!
961
00:41:55,069 --> 00:41:56,571
You must practice more!
962
00:41:56,770 --> 00:41:59,410
When my daughter underperforms,
I shun her.
963
00:41:59,607 --> 00:42:01,609
This girl should be shunned!
964
00:42:02,042 --> 00:42:05,080
Practice, practice, practice!
965
00:42:05,913 --> 00:42:07,517
Gee whiz.
966
00:42:07,715 --> 00:42:10,594
Wasn't she the villain
in the last James Bond movie?
967
00:42:11,719 --> 00:42:12,925
Sweetie, don't listen to her.
968
00:42:14,488 --> 00:42:17,264
You know back in Amarillo,
when Artie was announcing there...
969
00:42:17,458 --> 00:42:19,699
I got this audition
to be the local weather girl.
970
00:42:19,893 --> 00:42:21,804
Well, I was so uptight.
971
00:42:21,996 --> 00:42:25,273
Artie took me out the night before and we
both got bombed!
972
00:42:25,466 --> 00:42:27,537
And the next day I got the job.
973
00:42:28,235 --> 00:42:29,771
So, you're saying I should drink?
974
00:42:31,038 --> 00:42:32,778
No, no, no. I'm not saying that.
975
00:42:32,972 --> 00:42:35,612
I am saying that perhaps you could relax.
976
00:42:35,808 --> 00:42:37,208
You could go out with your friends.
977
00:42:37,276 --> 00:42:40,120
You could have some fun Friday night.
You know?
978
00:42:40,513 --> 00:42:43,858
Friday, I was invited to a...
979
00:42:48,154 --> 00:42:48,996
No.
980
00:42:49,288 --> 00:42:50,266
No, no, no!
981
00:42:50,890 --> 00:42:54,099
I have three more days!
I have to practice! I have to...
982
00:42:54,293 --> 00:42:56,933
I have to practice every second!
983
00:43:00,500 --> 00:43:01,877
Doctor Schveer?
984
00:43:02,402 --> 00:43:03,472
Yes?
985
00:43:03,670 --> 00:43:05,445
Perhaps we got off on the wrong foot.
986
00:43:05,638 --> 00:43:06,810
But I would like to let you know that...
987
00:43:07,006 --> 00:43:09,646
if you ever speak
to my granddaughter like that again...
988
00:43:09,842 --> 00:43:11,203
there will be nothing left of you,
989
00:43:11,244 --> 00:43:12,524
but some red hair and an accent!
990
00:43:12,712 --> 00:43:14,487
Is that clear, comrade?
991
00:43:38,904 --> 00:43:40,713
Thank you. Here you go.
992
00:43:44,576 --> 00:43:45,577
Carcinogens.
993
00:43:46,611 --> 00:43:48,011
Oh, the first one just laid a base.
994
00:43:48,113 --> 00:43:50,593
This is the real thing.
I'm at the ballpark.
995
00:43:54,853 --> 00:43:56,491
He likes baseball?
996
00:43:56,688 --> 00:43:57,666
Yeah, he likes lots of things.
997
00:43:57,856 --> 00:44:01,360
He likes sports.
He likes science, he likes movies.
998
00:44:01,560 --> 00:44:02,868
He likes cake.
999
00:44:03,061 --> 00:44:04,233
Touché.
1000
00:44:05,097 --> 00:44:07,941
He's just hidden behind that... stutter.
1001
00:44:08,133 --> 00:44:10,739
Well, you know, kids have a way
of working these things out.
1002
00:44:11,236 --> 00:44:12,214
No, they don't, Dad.
1003
00:44:12,404 --> 00:44:14,077
That's why there's prison.
1004
00:44:16,575 --> 00:44:17,735
All right, guys, bring it in!
1005
00:44:17,776 --> 00:44:19,456
Bring it in! Get all those hands in there.
1006
00:44:19,543 --> 00:44:20,453
Come on.
1007
00:44:20,644 --> 00:44:23,921
Everybody on three. One, two, three...
1008
00:44:24,115 --> 00:44:26,061
Let's have fun!
1009
00:44:27,318 --> 00:44:29,798
I am so excited about this.
1010
00:44:30,321 --> 00:44:31,265
Let's play!
1011
00:44:31,455 --> 00:44:32,365
He's pitching!
1012
00:44:32,556 --> 00:44:33,296
Yeah.
1013
00:44:33,491 --> 00:44:34,492
He has a good arm.
1014
00:44:34,592 --> 00:44:35,570
Like Mom, like son.
1015
00:44:35,760 --> 00:44:36,738
Yeah, right.
1016
00:44:36,927 --> 00:44:38,270
No, you had a hose.
1017
00:44:38,462 --> 00:44:40,203
But then you hit puberty
and you got all girlie on me.
1018
00:44:40,397 --> 00:44:42,399
Well, gee, Dad,
I'm so sorry that I hit puberty.
1019
00:44:42,600 --> 00:44:43,880
I was so proud of you back then.
1020
00:44:43,934 --> 00:44:45,607
You were usually the only girl out there.
1021
00:44:46,003 --> 00:44:48,210
You used to stand up to those stinky boys.
1022
00:44:48,405 --> 00:44:50,316
Do you remember that summer
when you worked for me in the booth...
1023
00:44:50,508 --> 00:44:52,249
keeping score and doing stats?
1024
00:44:52,443 --> 00:44:53,820
You were so cute, sitting there
1025
00:44:53,911 --> 00:44:55,948
scrunched over your little pencil.
1026
00:44:56,447 --> 00:44:58,048
You never saw that ball coming, did you?
1027
00:44:58,149 --> 00:44:59,429
You could have yelled "Incoming"
1028
00:44:59,450 --> 00:45:01,370
I was on the air.
I didn't want to start a panic.
1029
00:45:01,485 --> 00:45:03,260
You do love that job.
1030
00:45:03,454 --> 00:45:04,489
- Yeah.
- Yeah.
1031
00:45:04,688 --> 00:45:05,666
Yeah, I do.
1032
00:45:05,856 --> 00:45:06,834
Batter up!
1033
00:45:08,159 --> 00:45:09,638
This is that bully kid.
1034
00:45:09,827 --> 00:45:10,998
Yeah, Ivan.
1035
00:45:11,194 --> 00:45:13,572
I would so like to see
Turner strike him out.
1036
00:45:23,973 --> 00:45:24,610
Strike!
1037
00:45:25,041 --> 00:45:28,284
Strike one!
Hey, he is really good. He's really good.
1038
00:45:28,478 --> 00:45:29,957
Way to go, Turner!
1039
00:45:30,146 --> 00:45:31,124
Turner Simmons on the mound...
1040
00:45:31,314 --> 00:45:33,794
a young Cuban prospect
who escaped on a raft.
1041
00:45:33,983 --> 00:45:35,428
He's facing Ivan, a miserable child
1042
00:45:35,518 --> 00:45:37,119
who is loathed and despised by everyone.
1043
00:45:37,120 --> 00:45:38,155
Dad!
1044
00:45:41,324 --> 00:45:43,964
Swing and a miss! Strike two!
1045
00:45:44,060 --> 00:45:45,664
One more strike and it's back
1046
00:45:45,762 --> 00:45:47,298
to the dugout
for this eight-year-old bullfrog.
1047
00:45:47,497 --> 00:45:48,407
Dad...
1048
00:45:48,631 --> 00:45:51,737
The yearbook said
Ivan is "Most likely to do time."
1049
00:45:53,770 --> 00:45:55,113
Simmons looks at him.
1050
00:45:57,373 --> 00:45:58,408
He shakes it off.
1051
00:46:02,679 --> 00:46:03,656
Here's the pitch.
1052
00:46:04,780 --> 00:46:07,317
Strike three!
You're out of there!
1053
00:46:09,017 --> 00:46:10,587
Lights out, Alice!
1054
00:46:14,056 --> 00:46:16,002
Way to go, Turner! Way to look!
1055
00:46:16,258 --> 00:46:18,704
Blue, Blue! That's three strikes!
1056
00:46:19,027 --> 00:46:21,007
One, two, three! Out of there!
1057
00:46:21,230 --> 00:46:22,504
Time!
1058
00:46:22,965 --> 00:46:24,000
It's okay!
1059
00:46:24,199 --> 00:46:26,270
This is my dad and he's new here!
1060
00:46:26,568 --> 00:46:29,208
Oh, okay. There are no outs in this game.
1061
00:46:29,872 --> 00:46:31,715
No outs? How is that possible?
1062
00:46:31,907 --> 00:46:35,445
They hit until they get on base.
1063
00:46:35,644 --> 00:46:37,351
- Seriously?
- Seriously.
1064
00:46:37,546 --> 00:46:39,184
Dad, why don't we just sit down?
1065
00:46:41,149 --> 00:46:42,127
All right.
1066
00:46:42,885 --> 00:46:44,285
But you know that's kind of stupid!
1067
00:46:44,386 --> 00:46:46,832
Because if you just think of the song...
1068
00:46:47,022 --> 00:46:49,298
'Cause it's one, two,
three strikes, you're out...
1069
00:46:49,491 --> 00:46:50,834
at the old ball game
1070
00:46:51,026 --> 00:46:51,731
Not...
1071
00:46:51,927 --> 00:46:53,304
until you get a hit
1072
00:46:53,495 --> 00:46:55,975
He's right!
I hate these games! What's the point?
1073
00:46:56,164 --> 00:46:58,734
The point is for the kids
to enjoy the game without competition.
1074
00:46:58,933 --> 00:47:00,310
Yeah, but competition is the game.
1075
00:47:00,501 --> 00:47:01,571
You know, it's like life.
1076
00:47:01,769 --> 00:47:02,873
Let me ask you something.
1077
00:47:03,070 --> 00:47:04,750
I mean, how do you even
know who's winning?
1078
00:47:04,839 --> 00:47:06,318
In this league, we don't keep score.
1079
00:47:06,874 --> 00:47:09,878
Every game ends in a tie.
1080
00:47:11,045 --> 00:47:12,319
Oh, no.
1081
00:47:12,513 --> 00:47:15,585
No agony of defeat? Just
the thrill of a tie?
1082
00:47:15,783 --> 00:47:17,353
It's good they don't keep score!
1083
00:47:17,551 --> 00:47:18,859
Yeah, 'cause your kid stinks.
1084
00:47:19,053 --> 00:47:20,589
Oh, I will bust you up!
1085
00:47:20,788 --> 00:47:22,358
The old guy's right. It's boring.
1086
00:47:22,556 --> 00:47:23,193
See?
1087
00:47:23,391 --> 00:47:25,132
It is not boring!
1088
00:47:25,493 --> 00:47:27,302
They're children and they're having fun!
1089
00:47:27,495 --> 00:47:29,839
And there's plenty of time
in their lives to keep score!
1090
00:47:30,031 --> 00:47:31,476
- And you are out!
- No, I'm not.
1091
00:47:31,666 --> 00:47:33,577
Oh, yeah. Turner, you struck him out.
1092
00:47:33,768 --> 00:47:34,974
- No, I didn't.
- Yes, you did.
1093
00:47:35,169 --> 00:47:35,977
- You're out.
- No, I'm not!
1094
00:47:36,170 --> 00:47:36,875
- You're out!
- No, I'm not!
1095
00:47:37,071 --> 00:47:38,175
- Three strikes, you're out!
- No, I'm not!
1096
00:47:38,372 --> 00:47:39,510
Barker, what's going on?
1097
00:47:39,707 --> 00:47:41,311
Farty is going crazy.
1098
00:47:41,509 --> 00:47:42,487
Again?
1099
00:47:42,677 --> 00:47:44,054
- You're out!
- No, you're out!
1100
00:47:46,347 --> 00:47:49,919
Ivan, no hitting!
Use your words!
1101
00:47:50,116 --> 00:47:51,527
Yes, Mom.
1102
00:47:51,718 --> 00:47:56,064
I'm angry that you said I was out.
1103
00:48:03,763 --> 00:48:05,834
Well, it's not boring anymore.
1104
00:48:07,400 --> 00:48:09,277
How is this Artie's fault?
1105
00:48:09,469 --> 00:48:12,109
All I saw was
that little monster grab a baseball bat...
1106
00:48:12,305 --> 00:48:14,683
and hit your father in his...
special place.
1107
00:48:14,874 --> 00:48:17,081
Well, you didn't see what led up to it.
1108
00:48:19,446 --> 00:48:21,357
- It was my fault.
- Oh, honey.
1109
00:48:21,748 --> 00:48:23,455
You threatened her violin teacher?
1110
00:48:24,050 --> 00:48:25,085
She says "threatened."
1111
00:48:25,285 --> 00:48:27,390
I say "defended my granddaughter."
1112
00:48:30,090 --> 00:48:31,091
- Phil?
- Hey.
1113
00:48:31,291 --> 00:48:33,396
Hey, we won. I won!
1114
00:48:33,560 --> 00:48:35,767
I won! Can you believe it?
1115
00:48:35,962 --> 00:48:37,908
Oh, my gosh!
1116
00:48:38,098 --> 00:48:40,704
That's fantastic! That's fantastic!
1117
00:48:40,900 --> 00:48:42,776
- Daddy won!
- Congrats, Dad!
1118
00:48:42,968 --> 00:48:45,778
So, they're
giving me the award tomorrow night.
1119
00:48:45,971 --> 00:48:47,075
When are you getting here?
1120
00:48:47,272 --> 00:48:49,232
You don't know
what's going on here. It's madness.
1121
00:48:49,274 --> 00:48:51,584
We can't leave our children
with my parents.
1122
00:48:51,777 --> 00:48:53,984
So, what are you saying?
That you're not coming?
1123
00:48:54,179 --> 00:48:56,625
Phil, please listen to me.
Try to understand.
1124
00:48:56,815 --> 00:48:57,793
I'm sorry.
1125
00:48:57,983 --> 00:49:00,293
Yeah. I understand perfectly.
1126
00:49:00,486 --> 00:49:01,556
All right.
1127
00:49:03,655 --> 00:49:04,963
See you when I get back.
1128
00:49:09,762 --> 00:49:11,708
Okay. We're going home.
1129
00:49:11,897 --> 00:49:12,875
No.
1130
00:49:13,232 --> 00:49:14,233
No?
1131
00:49:14,333 --> 00:49:15,437
Artie and the kids are going home.
1132
00:49:15,634 --> 00:49:17,580
I am taking you to the airport.
1133
00:49:17,770 --> 00:49:18,475
What?
1134
00:49:18,670 --> 00:49:20,741
Alice, your dad and I have
1135
00:49:20,839 --> 00:49:22,978
bent over backwards
to try to do things your way.
1136
00:49:23,175 --> 00:49:24,984
You haven't bent over at all.
1137
00:49:25,177 --> 00:49:27,316
Oh, I'm bent. Believe me, I'm bent.
1138
00:49:27,513 --> 00:49:29,049
Now, look. You asked us to come here
1139
00:49:29,148 --> 00:49:30,252
and take care of our grandchildren...
1140
00:49:30,449 --> 00:49:32,224
and you haven't given
us the chance to do it.
1141
00:49:32,418 --> 00:49:34,727
You have been on our backs,
especially your dad's...
1142
00:49:34,919 --> 00:49:35,897
ever since we got here!
1143
00:49:36,087 --> 00:49:39,296
Okay, take his side,
because you always do anyway.
1144
00:49:39,490 --> 00:49:40,560
And for a good reason.
1145
00:49:40,758 --> 00:49:42,533
Because after your kids grow up,
1146
00:49:42,693 --> 00:49:44,468
your husband is the one who stays.
1147
00:49:44,662 --> 00:49:47,302
Alice, I know
you're trying to be a perfect parent...
1148
00:49:47,498 --> 00:49:49,842
but, honey, there's no such thing.
1149
00:49:50,034 --> 00:49:52,241
And frankly, you need to show Phil...
1150
00:49:52,437 --> 00:49:56,146
he's not just their father,
he's also your husband.
1151
00:49:56,974 --> 00:49:59,682
Alice, I'm your mom.
Take it from me, I really get it.
1152
00:49:59,877 --> 00:50:02,448
"Love the man, love the dream."
1153
00:50:02,647 --> 00:50:04,456
Well, your husband's dream
is coming true...
1154
00:50:04,649 --> 00:50:07,289
and part of that dream
is you being there with him!
1155
00:50:07,485 --> 00:50:09,294
How can you not go?
1156
00:50:09,554 --> 00:50:11,124
Oh, honey, you have to go.
1157
00:50:12,023 --> 00:50:13,263
You're going!
1158
00:50:13,658 --> 00:50:14,864
What about my clothes?
1159
00:50:14,959 --> 00:50:16,131
I don't think he wants you in clothes.
1160
00:50:16,327 --> 00:50:17,635
Besides, your luggage is already there.
1161
00:50:17,829 --> 00:50:20,139
Hey, kids, Mommy's finally going.
1162
00:50:20,331 --> 00:50:21,708
What about my audition?
1163
00:50:21,899 --> 00:50:23,674
I'll take care of it! It'll be fantastic!
1164
00:50:23,868 --> 00:50:25,040
See you at the ranch.
1165
00:50:25,236 --> 00:50:26,510
No. Bye!
1166
00:50:26,704 --> 00:50:27,681
This is a happy day-
1167
00:50:27,871 --> 00:50:29,976
Happy day
1168
00:50:31,208 --> 00:50:33,381
Could you drive? I don't feel good.
1169
00:51:00,604 --> 00:51:03,517
Gonna stand
there gawking? Gonna let me in?
1170
00:51:19,856 --> 00:51:22,426
No score here in the bottom
of the seventh with 2 outs.
1171
00:51:22,625 --> 00:51:25,697
The Giants and the Atlanta
Braves locked into a pitching duel.
1172
00:51:25,895 --> 00:51:27,875
Lincecum and Hudson,
both have been fantastic.
1173
00:51:28,063 --> 00:51:31,670
As Buster Posey steps in,
takes a strike in the inside corner.
1174
00:51:31,867 --> 00:51:34,609
I got to tell you friends,
this is one of those nights...
1175
00:51:34,803 --> 00:51:39,013
72 degrees, 45,000 fans,
smell of the popcorn, the hot dogs...
1176
00:51:39,208 --> 00:51:41,449
all of those clichés,
but I'll tell you something...
1177
00:51:41,644 --> 00:51:43,681
there's no other place I'd rather be.
1178
00:51:43,879 --> 00:51:45,916
Posey hits
a line drive to third and that'll do it.
1179
00:51:46,115 --> 00:51:48,026
That's it, no score through seven.
1180
00:51:48,217 --> 00:51:52,597
We'll be back. This is Artie Decker,
De Voice of the Giants.
1181
00:52:00,829 --> 00:52:03,139
Reminder: No school today.
1182
00:52:03,332 --> 00:52:05,278
You have tickets for the symphony.
1183
00:52:06,802 --> 00:52:08,713
What's wrong with your face?
1184
00:52:08,904 --> 00:52:10,705
Oh, and you're such
a pleasure in the morning?
1185
00:52:11,540 --> 00:52:13,280
You're not going to like this.
1186
00:52:15,543 --> 00:52:17,545
Barker!
1187
00:52:24,986 --> 00:52:26,021
Is it coming off?
1188
00:52:26,120 --> 00:52:27,531
Well, not exactly.
1189
00:52:27,722 --> 00:52:30,259
Sorry, Farty.
1190
00:52:35,563 --> 00:52:36,541
Let's go!
1191
00:52:36,731 --> 00:52:38,733
I gotta go number two!
I gotta go number two!
1192
00:52:38,900 --> 00:52:40,538
No, we're already late!
1193
00:52:40,735 --> 00:52:42,214
Artie, just take him.
1194
00:52:42,403 --> 00:52:44,246
All right. Okay, batter up! Let's go.
1195
00:52:44,439 --> 00:52:47,215
No, no, he can hold it, guys.
He's fine, he can hold it!
1196
00:52:47,408 --> 00:52:48,614
The symphony starts at two!
1197
00:52:51,679 --> 00:52:52,657
Quarter?
1198
00:52:52,747 --> 00:52:53,817
Not today, thank you.
1199
00:52:54,115 --> 00:52:55,321
Okay.
1200
00:52:55,516 --> 00:52:56,995
- Hey, buddy.
- Sorry!
1201
00:52:58,253 --> 00:52:58,753
So sorry.
1202
00:52:59,287 --> 00:53:00,288
That's not human.
1203
00:53:01,522 --> 00:53:03,331
- Hurry up!
- Yeah.
1204
00:53:04,292 --> 00:53:06,100
Okay. Here we go.
1205
00:53:06,293 --> 00:53:07,897
Yeah.
1206
00:53:08,128 --> 00:53:09,232
Okay, there you go.
1207
00:53:09,429 --> 00:53:11,466
I can't sit on that.
1208
00:53:11,665 --> 00:53:12,939
I'll give you 10 bucks.
1209
00:53:13,133 --> 00:53:15,170
Daddy always sings to me.
1210
00:53:18,472 --> 00:53:22,443
Come out, come out, Mr. Daodie...
1211
00:53:22,643 --> 00:53:26,352
and swim in the swimming pool
1212
00:53:26,546 --> 00:53:30,494
I know it's dark where you're hiding...
1213
00:53:30,684 --> 00:53:34,632
but out here it's really coal
1214
00:53:37,691 --> 00:53:41,537
Come on, come on, Mr. Daodie...
1215
00:53:41,728 --> 00:53:45,266
'cause we've got something to do
1216
00:53:46,166 --> 00:53:49,306
And if you hurry...
1217
00:53:49,503 --> 00:53:53,645
you 'll meet Carl the kangaroo
1218
00:53:55,409 --> 00:53:56,547
Yes!
1219
00:53:57,411 --> 00:53:59,981
Hey, buddy, can you keep singing?
1220
00:54:01,681 --> 00:54:04,252
Come out, come out, Mr.
1221
00:54:06,319 --> 00:54:07,297
Come on.
1222
00:54:07,486 --> 00:54:09,864
He's still out there! We're okay!
We're okay!
1223
00:54:10,056 --> 00:54:11,592
Nothing's the matter.
1224
00:54:13,793 --> 00:54:14,863
Thank you very much.
1225
00:54:14,960 --> 00:54:16,701
This way. Come on, honey.
1226
00:54:20,633 --> 00:54:22,044
Oh, we made it.
1227
00:54:23,602 --> 00:54:27,049
Big crowd. Must be helmet night.
1228
00:54:30,376 --> 00:54:31,684
It wasn't that funny.
1229
00:54:55,266 --> 00:54:57,007
Carl and I want to leave.
1230
00:54:57,202 --> 00:54:58,374
Don't leave your seat.
1231
00:54:58,570 --> 00:54:59,878
You said "don't."
1232
00:55:00,071 --> 00:55:01,982
Consider the consequences, mister.
1233
00:55:03,241 --> 00:55:04,914
It's not me, it's him.
1234
00:55:05,276 --> 00:55:07,517
I'm sorry. Kids.
1235
00:55:09,547 --> 00:55:11,527
Barker? Barker?
1236
00:55:14,352 --> 00:55:16,389
Hey, come back here!
1237
00:55:17,389 --> 00:55:19,391
Don't go "no". Yes! Get.
1238
00:55:29,701 --> 00:55:31,840
Who brings a child to Tchaikovsky?
1239
00:55:32,036 --> 00:55:34,209
Me. Voodoo-man.
1240
00:55:34,739 --> 00:55:36,810
Carl, come on!
1241
00:55:38,543 --> 00:55:40,386
- Gr-Grandma?
- Yes, dear?
1242
00:55:40,578 --> 00:55:42,615
Artie's ch-chasing Barker.
1243
00:55:42,814 --> 00:55:44,656
Oh, that's nice, dear.
1244
00:55:46,216 --> 00:55:47,126
What?
1245
00:55:50,154 --> 00:55:52,532
Excuse me. Excuse me!
1246
00:55:52,723 --> 00:55:55,169
Excuse me. Barker! Get back here!
1247
00:55:55,359 --> 00:55:56,997
- Stop it!
- Barker!
1248
00:55:57,194 --> 00:55:58,332
Oh, my...!
1249
00:55:58,529 --> 00:55:59,974
Where is he?
1250
00:56:00,164 --> 00:56:01,837
- Over there!
- Barker!
1251
00:56:02,032 --> 00:56:03,136
Barker!
1252
00:56:03,333 --> 00:56:04,311
Carl!
1253
00:56:05,536 --> 00:56:06,708
Get over here!
1254
00:56:08,639 --> 00:56:09,447
Let's see.
1255
00:56:11,642 --> 00:56:12,985
- Artie?
- I'm sorry!
1256
00:56:13,177 --> 00:56:14,554
I can't take this anymore!
1257
00:56:14,745 --> 00:56:17,851
This whole "teachable moments"
and protecting their self-esteem...
1258
00:56:18,048 --> 00:56:19,356
and nobody gets punished!
1259
00:56:19,550 --> 00:56:21,655
And every game ends in a tie!
1260
00:56:22,186 --> 00:56:24,393
All I hear is
"Use your words. Use your words".
1261
00:56:24,588 --> 00:56:27,694
But the word
they never use with these kids is "no"!
1262
00:56:36,733 --> 00:56:38,370
Come on, Mr. Decker.
1263
00:56:38,568 --> 00:56:40,849
The other patients
are waiting for you in Arts and Crafts.
1264
00:56:41,037 --> 00:56:42,516
One second.
1265
00:56:42,705 --> 00:56:44,480
I am very sorry for what happened here.
1266
00:56:44,674 --> 00:56:47,484
Just split it with her.
1267
00:56:48,010 --> 00:56:48,852
Thank you.
1268
00:56:49,045 --> 00:56:50,820
Savages.
1269
00:57:10,533 --> 00:57:11,637
Well, he'll be there.
1270
00:57:11,834 --> 00:57:14,007
Yeah, Artie Decker.
You're going to love him. He's a pro's pro.
1271
00:57:14,203 --> 00:57:16,479
Tomorrow, 11 AM, Piedmont Park.
1272
00:57:16,672 --> 00:57:18,015
I'll see... He'll see you then.
1273
00:57:18,207 --> 00:57:20,346
All right, bye now.
1274
00:57:20,543 --> 00:57:22,420
Piedmont Park, map.
1275
00:57:23,513 --> 00:57:24,514
Dinner!
1276
00:57:25,081 --> 00:57:26,185
Who was that?
1277
00:57:26,382 --> 00:57:28,658
Market research.
Always at dinner time. How do they know?
1278
00:57:29,852 --> 00:57:32,525
Hey, kids, would you sit down?
1279
00:57:33,688 --> 00:57:35,690
I have something I want to clear up.
Something's bothering me.
1280
00:57:35,891 --> 00:57:36,995
I just want to say...
1281
00:57:37,192 --> 00:57:40,503
I was never, ever
going to actually spank Barker.
1282
00:57:41,196 --> 00:57:42,476
But you threatened to spank him.
1283
00:57:42,631 --> 00:57:43,575
But I never was going to do it.
1284
00:57:43,765 --> 00:57:45,767
- But he didn't know that.
- That's why it worked.
1285
00:57:47,135 --> 00:57:49,081
- There we go!
- It looks great!
1286
00:57:49,271 --> 00:57:50,249
Thank you, honey.
1287
00:57:50,438 --> 00:57:52,509
Th-This isn't what-what we asked for.
1288
00:57:52,707 --> 00:57:55,244
Yes, I know. I got your e-mails. But...
1289
00:57:55,443 --> 00:57:57,389
This is how a family eats.
1290
00:57:57,579 --> 00:58:00,685
We all sit at one table
and we all eat the same thing.
1291
00:58:00,882 --> 00:58:02,190
It's not how we eat.
1292
00:58:02,384 --> 00:58:03,795
But you know something, Barker...
1293
00:58:03,985 --> 00:58:06,522
Grandma worked very hard
to make your mom's recipe...
1294
00:58:06,721 --> 00:58:08,257
just the way that your mom makes it...
1295
00:58:08,456 --> 00:58:11,266
so I think that we owe her the
courtesy of eating it and enjoying it.
1296
00:58:11,526 --> 00:58:14,097
Oh, honey, thank you. That is so sweet.
1297
00:58:18,333 --> 00:58:19,813
I'm going to order a pizza. Who's in?
1298
00:58:26,907 --> 00:58:30,286
Hey, you've been sitting here for hours.
1299
00:58:30,477 --> 00:58:32,286
Are you playing a game?
1300
00:58:32,479 --> 00:58:34,390
That looks like fun.
Do you just press it here?
1301
00:58:34,582 --> 00:58:35,560
No, no, no!
1302
00:58:35,649 --> 00:58:36,650
Game aver.
1303
00:58:39,253 --> 00:58:40,254
Sorry.
1304
00:58:41,255 --> 00:58:42,996
Turner, let me ask you a question.
1305
00:58:43,691 --> 00:58:45,671
You ever watch the X Games?
Stuff like that?
1306
00:58:45,859 --> 00:58:46,929
S-S-Sometimes.
1307
00:58:47,127 --> 00:58:48,834
Yeah. Do you think you know the lingo?
1308
00:58:49,029 --> 00:58:53,671
You mean like "h-heinous,"
or "gn-gnarled out," or "n-nose bone"?
1309
00:58:53,867 --> 00:58:54,902
Yeah, that kind of stuff.
1310
00:58:55,102 --> 00:58:57,844
Listen, how about later I tuck you
in and we talk more about this?
1311
00:58:58,038 --> 00:59:02,077
S-Sure. Except for the t-tucking in.
I'm eight.
1312
00:59:02,276 --> 00:59:03,254
Okay, I get it.
1313
00:59:03,444 --> 00:59:06,084
And, listen, I'm sorry
if I embarrassed you the other day.
1314
00:59:06,280 --> 00:59:08,123
Wh-Which day was th-that?
1315
00:59:08,849 --> 00:59:10,351
Touché.
1316
00:59:10,951 --> 00:59:11,952
One other thing.
1317
00:59:12,152 --> 00:59:15,826
This Ivan kid, he's a punk.
Stand up to him.
1318
00:59:16,389 --> 00:59:20,166
Anything he starts,
you can finish. Believe in yourself.
1319
00:59:20,360 --> 00:59:22,966
And once you believe
in yourself, you can do anything.
1320
00:59:23,162 --> 00:59:25,836
You can look trouble right in the eye
and just wink at it.
1321
00:59:26,032 --> 00:59:28,273
And everything will be okay.
It's all attitude.
1322
00:59:28,668 --> 00:59:30,272
Now, how do you turn this on?
1323
00:59:30,470 --> 00:59:32,381
Th-That's just a t-table.
1324
00:59:37,010 --> 00:59:37,613
Okay, let's go.
1325
00:59:37,810 --> 00:59:43,488
Goodbye, Harper,
Turner, Barker, Diane and Farty Decker.
1326
00:59:43,683 --> 00:59:44,684
She did that on purpose.
1327
00:59:44,884 --> 00:59:46,725
Remember, you're taking Barker
for a play date.
1328
00:59:46,819 --> 00:59:47,854
Okay.
1329
00:59:47,954 --> 00:59:49,831
Alice says this is very,
very important.
1330
00:59:50,023 --> 00:59:51,024
They're still new here...
1331
00:59:51,224 --> 00:59:53,465
and Barker hasn't had
a chance to make new friends, okay?
1332
00:59:53,593 --> 00:59:54,571
I got it.
1333
00:59:54,761 --> 00:59:55,967
Bye, Barker.
1334
00:59:56,162 --> 00:59:57,140
Bye.
1335
00:59:57,764 --> 00:59:59,243
Let me ask you something.
1336
00:59:59,699 --> 01:00:01,300
This play date kid, he's imaginary, too?
1337
01:00:01,934 --> 01:00:03,641
- No.
- How will I know how to get there?
1338
01:00:03,836 --> 01:00:06,180
Use the R-life.
Turner already punched in the address.
1339
01:00:06,372 --> 01:00:08,749
Okay. Di, can you pick up
Barker after the play date?
1340
01:00:08,940 --> 01:00:10,886
Pick him up? You're supposed
to stay with him the whole time.
1341
01:00:11,076 --> 01:00:12,996
What? When did his play date
become my play date?
1342
01:00:13,045 --> 01:00:14,649
I can't help you! I got to go, hon.
1343
01:00:14,846 --> 01:00:15,756
No, I..
1344
01:00:16,281 --> 01:00:17,259
Okay.
1345
01:00:17,449 --> 01:00:18,894
- Bye.
- Bye. Have fun!
1346
01:00:19,084 --> 01:00:19,892
Okay.
1347
01:00:20,085 --> 01:00:21,996
All right. Have a good time!
1348
01:00:22,187 --> 01:00:24,929
We're going to
have a great time at the play date!
1349
01:00:25,624 --> 01:00:27,103
How would you like to ditch this play date?
1350
01:00:27,292 --> 01:00:29,499
I hate play dates. No one talks to Carl.
1351
01:00:29,695 --> 01:00:30,975
Well, how rude are those people?
1352
01:00:31,129 --> 01:00:32,938
Would you like to do something fun
with me?
1353
01:00:33,131 --> 01:00:34,735
Great. All right, let's go.
1354
01:00:35,534 --> 01:00:37,343
R-life, find me a mall.
1355
01:00:42,374 --> 01:00:43,944
Do you guys want to go
to the skatepark later?
1356
01:00:44,142 --> 01:00:45,712
I-I-Ivan!
1357
01:00:46,445 --> 01:00:48,948
What do you want, T-T-Turner?
1358
01:00:49,147 --> 01:00:50,285
Listen, p-punk!
1359
01:00:50,482 --> 01:00:52,587
Anything that you start...
1360
01:00:52,784 --> 01:00:54,889
I-I can f-finish!
1361
01:00:57,923 --> 01:01:00,233
We were at our locker and he ran up...
1362
01:01:00,425 --> 01:01:02,961
and it was such an awkward silence.
I had no idea what to say.
1363
01:01:03,160 --> 01:01:04,764
So, are you coming to my party?
1364
01:01:04,962 --> 01:01:07,909
Oh, hi. Oh, I don't think that I can.
1365
01:01:08,099 --> 01:01:09,579
I got to go. See you tonight, I hope.
1366
01:01:09,600 --> 01:01:11,637
Oh, please don't go.
1367
01:01:11,836 --> 01:01:13,577
He so likes you.
1368
01:01:26,484 --> 01:01:28,623
So, Tony, are you
going to bust a 900 today, dude?
1369
01:01:28,819 --> 01:01:31,163
Or are you going show us
something that's going to blow our minds.
1370
01:01:31,355 --> 01:01:32,493
Something we've never seen before?
1371
01:01:32,690 --> 01:01:33,828
I don't know. Maybe I'll try a 900...
1372
01:01:34,024 --> 01:01:36,104
and then give you a tattoo
right in the middle of it.
1373
01:01:36,460 --> 01:01:37,632
Come on! We're late!
1374
01:01:37,828 --> 01:01:39,171
But I have to go pee-pee!
1375
01:01:39,363 --> 01:01:41,172
I don't have a song for that.
1376
01:01:57,514 --> 01:01:58,515
Sorry.
1377
01:01:58,715 --> 01:02:02,720
Talk a little bit about that
particular night and you hitting the 900.
1378
01:02:02,919 --> 01:02:04,523
It wasn't something I planned to do.
1379
01:02:04,621 --> 01:02:06,191
It was just I had hit my best...
1380
01:02:06,756 --> 01:02:08,360
I got to go pee!
1381
01:02:10,093 --> 01:02:11,902
How does it feel to be back in Atlanta?
1382
01:02:12,095 --> 01:02:14,905
Hey, I'm here.
Sorry I'm late. Motorcycle trouble.
1383
01:02:15,198 --> 01:02:18,042
I'm Artie "Mad Dog" Decker!
What's up, homeslice?
1384
01:02:18,234 --> 01:02:19,212
You're Artie Decker?
1385
01:02:19,402 --> 01:02:20,904
Reporting for duty.
1386
01:02:21,437 --> 01:02:22,415
We up for the same job?
1387
01:02:22,572 --> 01:02:23,550
I hope not.
1388
01:02:23,740 --> 01:02:25,420
Wait a second. You don't know who this is?
1389
01:02:25,608 --> 01:02:26,678
Of course I do.
1390
01:02:27,577 --> 01:02:29,579
Dude, this is Tony Hawk, man!
1391
01:02:29,779 --> 01:02:30,883
Yeah, Tony Hawkman. How you doing?
1392
01:02:31,080 --> 01:02:32,058
All right.
1393
01:02:32,248 --> 01:02:33,727
- Who's the kid?
- This is my agent.
1394
01:02:34,250 --> 01:02:35,228
Too many facelifts.
1395
01:02:35,451 --> 01:02:37,829
If he gets one more,
he's going back in time.
1396
01:02:39,522 --> 01:02:41,729
I'm going to go take my runs.
1397
01:02:43,226 --> 01:02:46,207
So, how do we roll?
1398
01:02:46,396 --> 01:02:47,430
How do we roll?
1399
01:02:47,629 --> 01:02:48,699
Well, we roll this way.
1400
01:02:48,897 --> 01:02:50,417
The riders are practicing, so you just
1401
01:02:50,499 --> 01:02:51,978
ad lib like it's the actual event.
1402
01:02:52,167 --> 01:02:53,441
Just call it like I see it?
1403
01:02:53,635 --> 01:02:55,239
- That's it.
- Okay, dope.
1404
01:02:55,437 --> 01:02:57,110
Hey, can't have a kid up here, man.
1405
01:02:57,306 --> 01:02:58,580
No, no, no. Kid's with me. He's fine.
1406
01:02:58,774 --> 01:02:59,616
We're just going to go right over there.
1407
01:02:59,808 --> 01:03:01,788
I promise you,
everything's going to be good.
1408
01:03:04,980 --> 01:03:06,891
You sit right here. Okay?
1409
01:03:07,082 --> 01:03:08,789
Carl and I have to go pee-pee.
1410
01:03:08,984 --> 01:03:09,792
Just give me one minute...
1411
01:03:09,985 --> 01:03:11,896
and I promise
you can do all the peeing that you want.
1412
01:03:12,087 --> 01:03:13,225
But we really...
1413
01:03:13,422 --> 01:03:14,628
Farty has spoken.
1414
01:03:14,823 --> 01:03:16,734
- Ready?
- Yeah, yeah, coming.
1415
01:03:19,261 --> 01:03:21,263
- Okay.
- Go! Go, go.
1416
01:03:21,463 --> 01:03:22,441
Hello there, everybody!
1417
01:03:22,631 --> 01:03:23,905
It's a beautiful day
and thanks for coming out!
1418
01:03:24,099 --> 01:03:25,169
- Here's one...
- Cut!
1419
01:03:25,367 --> 01:03:27,176
- What?
- He's finished. The run's over.
1420
01:03:27,703 --> 01:03:28,977
All right.
1421
01:03:29,638 --> 01:03:31,117
Give me one more chance.
I'm just warming up.
1422
01:03:31,306 --> 01:03:32,944
Hey, even Sinatra cleared his throat.
1423
01:03:33,141 --> 01:03:34,347
All right, pops, come on. Try to keep up.
1424
01:03:34,543 --> 01:03:36,181
Ready? Three, two...
1425
01:03:39,514 --> 01:03:41,117
It is on and it is epic.
1426
01:03:41,315 --> 01:03:43,591
We're expecting to see
a frontside heelflip 540...
1427
01:03:43,784 --> 01:03:46,958
990 body varial with a Cab 7 Melon Grab.
1428
01:03:47,154 --> 01:03:48,565
Melon Grab, my cousin got arrested
1429
01:03:48,656 --> 01:03:49,977
on the subway for melon-grabbing.
1430
01:03:55,062 --> 01:03:56,632
Tony started when he was very young.
1431
01:03:56,731 --> 01:03:58,267
He actually skated out of his mother.
1432
01:03:58,466 --> 01:03:59,536
Can I ask you something?
I wonder about this.
1433
01:03:59,734 --> 01:04:01,475
- Absolutely.
- How do you practice these tricks...
1434
01:04:01,669 --> 01:04:02,704
before you get really good at them?
1435
01:04:02,904 --> 01:04:06,317
Do you say, "I'm just
going to do this. Somebody get a mop"?
1436
01:04:06,507 --> 01:04:08,350
Wait. Is that a kid on the half-pipe?
1437
01:04:08,643 --> 01:04:09,644
Barker!
1438
01:04:10,845 --> 01:04:11,846
Barker!
1439
01:04:14,682 --> 01:04:15,990
Barker, what are you doing?
1440
01:04:16,517 --> 01:04:18,053
I told you I had to pee.
1441
01:04:18,252 --> 01:04:19,452
Is all that coming out of you?
1442
01:04:19,587 --> 01:04:21,624
- I saved it up.
- When? Since birth?
1443
01:04:42,108 --> 01:04:44,179
What you did back there
was pretty dangerous.
1444
01:04:44,377 --> 01:04:45,185
Do you know that?
1445
01:04:45,378 --> 01:04:46,914
Carl told me to do it.
1446
01:04:48,281 --> 01:04:51,194
I don't think Carl is being
a very good friend to you.
1447
01:04:51,384 --> 01:04:53,887
For a kangaroo,
he's something of a thrill-seeker.
1448
01:04:54,087 --> 01:04:57,591
And I think it's time
that you start telling Carl what to do.
1449
01:04:58,091 --> 01:04:59,229
One other thing.
1450
01:05:00,060 --> 01:05:01,562
I was supposed to...
1451
01:05:02,262 --> 01:05:05,709
watch after you today,
and I didn't do a good job.
1452
01:05:07,000 --> 01:05:08,104
I'm sorry.
1453
01:05:08,735 --> 01:05:12,114
So, Farty would appreciate it...
1454
01:05:12,305 --> 01:05:14,148
if when we get home...
1455
01:05:14,641 --> 01:05:17,781
you don't tell
anyone what happened. Okay?
1456
01:05:18,578 --> 01:05:20,057
Twenty bucks.
1457
01:05:21,348 --> 01:05:22,156
Deal.
1458
01:05:22,582 --> 01:05:24,323
Let's go home. Come on.
1459
01:05:29,688 --> 01:05:31,429
Carl, come on.
1460
01:05:34,593 --> 01:05:35,765
- How could you?
- What?
1461
01:05:35,961 --> 01:05:36,939
You think I don't know?
1462
01:05:37,129 --> 01:05:38,335
I want my 20 bucks back.
1463
01:05:38,530 --> 01:05:39,736
He's just a little boy!
1464
01:05:39,932 --> 01:05:40,910
He's fine.
1465
01:05:41,100 --> 01:05:43,080
Fine? Take a look at him.
1466
01:05:43,268 --> 01:05:45,077
Not him. Turner.
1467
01:05:45,270 --> 01:05:46,351
What are you talking about?
1468
01:05:46,438 --> 01:05:50,284
I'm talking about Turner
and that brilliant advice you gave him.
1469
01:05:53,645 --> 01:05:54,715
Hey.
1470
01:05:58,183 --> 01:06:00,663
I have to ask, did you hit him back?
1471
01:06:00,853 --> 01:06:02,764
- No.
- Why not?
1472
01:06:02,955 --> 01:06:04,764
B-Because I hit him f-first.
1473
01:06:04,957 --> 01:06:06,231
Then he...
1474
01:06:06,425 --> 01:06:09,099
He started screaming
and s-someone helped him fight me.
1475
01:06:09,294 --> 01:06:10,974
Two against one? How big was this other...
1476
01:06:11,163 --> 01:06:12,767
It was his little sister.
1477
01:06:12,965 --> 01:06:13,966
She did this.
1478
01:06:14,466 --> 01:06:16,468
Turner, this is all my fault.
1479
01:06:17,136 --> 01:06:19,638
When I said stand
up for yourself, I didn't mean hitting.
1480
01:06:20,371 --> 01:06:21,179
All right, listen.
1481
01:06:21,639 --> 01:06:25,109
Oh, boy. The older I get,
the lower the floor gets.
1482
01:06:26,644 --> 01:06:29,147
Turner, can I share something with you?
1483
01:06:29,347 --> 01:06:31,759
Just between me and you.
No one else knows this.
1484
01:06:31,949 --> 01:06:33,451
This is just two guys talking.
1485
01:06:33,651 --> 01:06:37,258
When I was your age,
I was very shy because I was short.
1486
01:06:37,455 --> 01:06:38,934
I didn't talk to anybody.
1487
01:06:39,123 --> 01:06:40,534
And my self-esteem...
1488
01:06:40,725 --> 01:06:45,003
You know, the way
I feel about myself, was really bad.
1489
01:06:45,196 --> 01:06:46,470
Do you ever feel that way?
1490
01:06:47,532 --> 01:06:50,035
Yeah? Well, you know what? You shouldn't.
1491
01:06:50,234 --> 01:06:51,804
Because you're a great kid.
1492
01:06:52,637 --> 01:06:55,049
All right, I want to play you something.
1493
01:06:55,239 --> 01:06:57,515
Hey, house, I want to play something.
1494
01:06:58,076 --> 01:06:59,384
Okay.
1495
01:07:01,612 --> 01:07:02,784
Okay.
1496
01:07:04,015 --> 01:07:05,892
Now, the first time I heard this...
1497
01:07:06,084 --> 01:07:09,224
I knew right away that
I had found my voice.
1498
01:07:09,420 --> 01:07:12,366
I knew that I had to become
a baseball announcer.
1499
01:07:12,556 --> 01:07:13,477
And once I knew that...
1500
01:07:13,557 --> 01:07:15,917
it didn't matter what anybody
else thought or said about me.
1501
01:07:16,026 --> 01:07:18,233
Sh-sh-shot heard round the w-world?
1502
01:07:18,428 --> 01:07:20,738
Right. The shot heard round the world.
1503
01:07:20,931 --> 01:07:21,931
Let me tell you about it.
1504
01:07:25,168 --> 01:07:27,705
It's 1951. Long time ago.
1505
01:07:27,904 --> 01:07:30,214
Brooklyn Dodgers,
New York Giants.
1506
01:07:30,407 --> 01:07:31,886
And they hated each other.
1507
01:07:32,075 --> 01:07:34,385
L-Like Luke S-Skywalker and D-Darth Vader.
1508
01:07:34,578 --> 01:07:35,556
Worse.
1509
01:07:35,745 --> 01:07:38,658
Well, the baseball season ends
and they're tied.
1510
01:07:38,849 --> 01:07:40,419
Now, this one game would decide...
1511
01:07:40,617 --> 01:07:42,119
who would go to the World Series
1512
01:07:42,219 --> 01:07:43,698
against the great New York Yankees.
1513
01:07:43,887 --> 01:07:45,764
Biggest game in the history of New York.
1514
01:07:46,523 --> 01:07:48,161
Bottom of the ninth inning, two outs,
1515
01:07:48,258 --> 01:07:49,862
the Giants are losing 4 to 2...
1516
01:07:50,060 --> 01:07:52,631
and a batter
named Bobby Thomson comes up to bat.
1517
01:07:54,030 --> 01:07:56,476
Bobby Thomson
up there swinging.
1518
01:07:56,666 --> 01:07:57,747
He's had two out of three,
1519
01:07:57,834 --> 01:07:59,040
a single and a double, and Billy Cox is...
1520
01:07:59,236 --> 01:08:01,842
Close your eyes. Close your eyes, come on.
1521
01:08:02,038 --> 01:08:04,847
Close your eyes and you can see it.
1522
01:08:05,374 --> 01:08:07,047
Bobby hitting at .292.
1523
01:08:07,243 --> 01:08:08,963
Lockman without
too big of a lead at second“
1524
01:08:09,044 --> 01:08:11,245
but he 'll be running like the wind
if Thomson hits one.
1525
01:08:11,280 --> 01:08:12,258
Branca throws.
1526
01:08:12,448 --> 01:08:15,088
There's a long drive!
It's gonna be, I believe...
1527
01:08:15,284 --> 01:08:16,888
The Giants win the pennant!
1528
01:08:17,086 --> 01:08:20,431
The Giants win the pennant!
The Giants win the pennant!
1529
01:08:20,689 --> 01:08:22,225
The Giants win the pennant!
1530
01:08:22,424 --> 01:08:26,065
Bobby Thomson hits into the lower
deck of the left field stands!
1531
01:08:26,262 --> 01:08:27,673
The Giants win the pennant...
1532
01:08:27,863 --> 01:08:30,707
and they're going crazy,
they're going crazy!
1533
01:08:30,900 --> 01:08:32,846
And home!
1534
01:08:33,369 --> 01:08:34,507
I don't believe it!
1535
01:08:34,703 --> 01:08:36,046
I do not believe it!
1536
01:08:36,238 --> 01:08:40,118
The Giants won it by a score of 5 to 4...
1537
01:08:40,309 --> 01:08:42,585
and they're picking Bobby Thomson up“
1538
01:08:42,778 --> 01:08:44,382
and carrying him off the field!
1539
01:08:44,580 --> 01:08:46,753
That's what gave me my dream.
1540
01:08:46,949 --> 01:08:49,349
Now the big dream,
of course, was to announce for the Giants.
1541
01:08:49,485 --> 01:08:50,463
D-Did you?
1542
01:08:51,320 --> 01:08:53,425
No. But...
1543
01:08:53,622 --> 01:08:54,965
Y-You still might?
1544
01:08:56,824 --> 01:08:58,132
You never know.
1545
01:08:58,760 --> 01:09:00,603
C-C-Can I h-hear it again?
1546
01:09:01,596 --> 01:09:02,734
Sure.
1547
01:09:04,265 --> 01:09:06,609
Bobby Thomson
up there swinging.
1548
01:09:06,801 --> 01:09:08,007
He's had two out of three,
1549
01:09:08,102 --> 01:09:10,062
a single and a double,
and Billy Cox is playing...
1550
01:09:15,610 --> 01:09:18,284
Honey, we're going to play a
game. You want to join us?
1551
01:09:18,513 --> 01:09:20,424
- Grandma, I can't.
- Why?
1552
01:09:20,615 --> 01:09:22,135
Because if I don't do well tomorrow...
1553
01:09:22,283 --> 01:09:24,058
then I won't get into
the Atlanta Youth Symphony...
1554
01:09:24,252 --> 01:09:25,613
which is a feeder for Juilliard...
1555
01:09:25,620 --> 01:09:27,540
which offers a graduate class
with Sarah Chang...
1556
01:09:27,655 --> 01:09:29,726
whose students are virtually guaranteed
1557
01:09:29,824 --> 01:09:31,064
to get into the Berlin Philharmonic...
1558
01:09:31,259 --> 01:09:33,060
which is the orchestra
I most want to play in.
1559
01:09:33,328 --> 01:09:34,306
- Sweetheart.
- Yes.
1560
01:09:34,495 --> 01:09:35,616
Berlin's not going anywhere.
1561
01:09:35,797 --> 01:09:37,970
Well, neither am I if I don't practice.
1562
01:09:38,499 --> 01:09:41,446
Okay, I'll tell the boys.
But you're sure now?
1563
01:09:41,636 --> 01:09:42,512
Yes.
1564
01:09:42,704 --> 01:09:44,183
Okay.
1565
01:09:47,575 --> 01:09:49,417
Gentlemen, the game is called Kick the Can.
1566
01:09:49,610 --> 01:09:51,112
Are you going to recycle that?
1567
01:09:51,311 --> 01:09:53,382
I-It's d-dirty out here.
1568
01:09:53,580 --> 01:09:54,718
And windy!
1569
01:09:54,915 --> 01:09:56,952
I know. It's called "outside."
1570
01:09:57,451 --> 01:09:59,089
Is she coming?
1571
01:09:59,620 --> 01:10:00,655
Oh, too bad.
1572
01:10:00,854 --> 01:10:02,993
All right, guys, the object of the game,
1573
01:10:03,090 --> 01:10:05,161
kick the can without getting tagged!
1574
01:10:05,359 --> 01:10:06,804
Okay, here we go!
1575
01:10:06,994 --> 01:10:08,473
Come on!
1576
01:10:08,662 --> 01:10:09,902
Kick... Come on.
1577
01:10:10,097 --> 01:10:11,770
S-Sounds b-boring.
1578
01:10:11,965 --> 01:10:13,069
Boring?
1579
01:10:13,267 --> 01:10:14,507
Yeah?
1580
01:10:14,701 --> 01:10:16,977
Who wants a chance to clobber old Artie?
1581
01:10:17,170 --> 01:10:17,978
Right.
1582
01:10:18,639 --> 01:10:20,482
And then see him eat dirt!
1583
01:10:20,807 --> 01:10:22,252
And then kick the can so hard...
1584
01:10:22,442 --> 01:10:24,422
it goes in one ear and out the other!
1585
01:10:25,512 --> 01:10:27,014
I do! I do!
1586
01:10:27,214 --> 01:10:28,693
I do!
1587
01:10:28,882 --> 01:10:29,917
In my ear?
1588
01:10:30,117 --> 01:10:31,425
Out of my way, Farty.
1589
01:10:32,552 --> 01:10:33,394
Over here!
1590
01:10:33,587 --> 01:10:34,565
Good kick!
1591
01:10:34,755 --> 01:10:35,859
Turner, it's mine!
1592
01:10:39,593 --> 01:10:40,765
I got it, I got it!
1593
01:10:40,861 --> 01:10:42,965
Look out for me, I'm Super Artie!
1594
01:10:44,830 --> 01:10:45,808
Watch it, watch it!
1595
01:10:46,766 --> 01:10:47,801
Pass me the can!
1596
01:10:48,134 --> 01:10:49,204
Over here.
1597
01:10:50,236 --> 01:10:51,544
Farty!
1598
01:10:54,340 --> 01:10:55,876
Well!
1599
01:10:56,075 --> 01:10:57,611
Okay. Let the games begin!
1600
01:11:08,854 --> 01:11:09,958
Come on!
1601
01:11:51,296 --> 01:11:52,400
Are you okay?
1602
01:11:52,497 --> 01:11:53,532
I'm fine.
1603
01:11:53,732 --> 01:11:55,769
You should see the other guy!
1604
01:11:59,404 --> 01:12:01,042
- I got more ice.
- Oh, thank you, honey.
1605
01:12:01,239 --> 01:12:02,650
It should be stopping soon.
1606
01:12:02,841 --> 01:12:04,149
I should start dinner.
1607
01:12:04,342 --> 01:12:05,412
Grandma?
1608
01:12:05,510 --> 01:12:06,511
Yes, dear?
1609
01:12:07,579 --> 01:12:10,059
I know my audition is tomorrow,
but I practiced all day.
1610
01:12:10,248 --> 01:12:12,089
And you said I should relax
the night before...
1611
01:12:12,183 --> 01:12:13,992
and there's this party tonight.
1612
01:12:14,185 --> 01:12:15,858
It's the first party
I've been invited to since we moved.
1613
01:12:16,054 --> 01:12:17,362
What if I just went for a half an hour...
1614
01:12:17,555 --> 01:12:19,675
came right back home,
got a really good night's sleep?
1615
01:12:19,724 --> 01:12:21,032
What kind of a party?
1616
01:12:21,559 --> 01:12:23,197
Just this party for some boy.
1617
01:12:25,163 --> 01:12:26,141
He kind of likes me.
1618
01:12:27,232 --> 01:12:28,801
I'll do your make-up!
1619
01:12:40,043 --> 01:12:41,181
I wish we could stay.
1620
01:12:41,378 --> 01:12:43,289
Yeah, we should do this, like...
1621
01:12:43,480 --> 01:12:44,322
Yeah, like...
1622
01:12:44,515 --> 01:12:46,290
- Every week?
- Yes.
1623
01:12:46,483 --> 01:12:48,690
The child
that was involved was not injured.
1624
01:12:48,886 --> 01:12:50,331
Take a look and a listen to this.
1625
01:12:50,521 --> 01:12:52,728
It was scary. I was about
to nail this 900...
1626
01:12:52,923 --> 01:12:55,665
and there's this kid up there
just whizzing away.
1627
01:12:55,859 --> 01:12:58,533
I hit his stream
and I fishtailed, and now it's on YouTube.
1628
01:12:58,729 --> 01:13:01,005
It's got more hits than
Charlie the Unicorn.
1629
01:13:01,198 --> 01:13:03,701
And when I asked what he was
doing, you know what he said?
1630
01:13:03,901 --> 01:13:06,814
"I was chasing Carl, my kangaroo. "
1631
01:13:07,004 --> 01:13:08,847
That's one twisted little dude.
1632
01:13:09,039 --> 01:13:13,146
This is from Tony Hawk's practice
run this morning at the X Games.
1633
01:13:13,277 --> 01:13:15,086
And you know, it kind
of begs the question...
1634
01:13:15,279 --> 01:13:17,156
what kind of parent would let their child
1635
01:13:17,247 --> 01:13:19,693
wander out onto the half-pipe?
1636
01:13:28,119 --> 01:13:28,995
Hey!
1637
01:13:29,621 --> 01:13:30,861
How is this for bonding?
1638
01:13:31,056 --> 01:13:32,262
I taught them how to shave.
1639
01:13:32,591 --> 01:13:34,832
Yeah. Show her your legs, boys.
1640
01:13:35,594 --> 01:13:37,164
That's great!
1641
01:13:37,362 --> 01:13:41,105
And guess what? I ordered
Chinese“ I mean, Pan Asian, for dinner.
1642
01:13:42,634 --> 01:13:43,704
Noodles!
1643
01:13:43,902 --> 01:13:45,263
All right, go upstairs and change.
1644
01:13:45,437 --> 01:13:47,610
When you come down,
we're going to arm-wrestle Grandma.
1645
01:13:49,741 --> 01:13:51,186
How come we just had one?
1646
01:13:51,376 --> 01:13:52,514
It's not too late.
1647
01:13:52,711 --> 01:13:55,089
It's really late. Come here,
I want to show you something.
1648
01:13:55,280 --> 01:13:57,226
- What?
- Look at this.
1649
01:13:57,415 --> 01:13:59,190
- That's Alice's song.
- Yeah.
1650
01:13:59,384 --> 01:14:01,227
She was, like, three or four years
old, how did she remember?
1651
01:14:01,419 --> 01:14:03,899
I don't know,
but it's at the top of her playlist.
1652
01:14:06,057 --> 01:14:09,470
We must have sang that song
a thousand times to her in the car!
1653
01:14:09,661 --> 01:14:11,368
- You know you want to.
- I don't want to sing it.
1654
01:14:11,563 --> 01:14:14,702
Oh, I wonder, wonder,
whom-ba-doo-hoo-whom
1655
01:14:15,266 --> 01:14:18,304
Who wrote the book of love?
1656
01:14:18,502 --> 01:14:22,541
Tell me, tell me, tell me
Oh, who wrote the book of love?
1657
01:14:22,740 --> 01:14:26,620
I got to know the answer
was it someone from above?
1658
01:14:26,810 --> 01:14:29,848
Oh, I wonder, wonder,
whom ba-doo-hoo-whom.
1659
01:14:30,481 --> 01:14:31,892
Who wrote the book of love?
1660
01:14:32,082 --> 01:14:33,857
What is that?
1661
01:14:34,051 --> 01:14:36,088
Chapter one says you lave her,
1662
01:14:36,186 --> 01:14:38,188
you love her with all your heart
1663
01:14:38,389 --> 01:14:40,266
Chapter two, you tell her...
1664
01:14:40,457 --> 01:14:42,368
you're never
never never never ever gonna part
1665
01:14:42,560 --> 01:14:44,631
And chapter three, remember...
1666
01:14:44,828 --> 01:14:46,637
the meaning of romance
1667
01:14:46,830 --> 01:14:48,639
And chapter four, you break up
1668
01:14:48,832 --> 01:14:50,607
But you give her just one more chance
1669
01:14:50,801 --> 01:14:54,442
Oh, I wonder, wonder,
whom-ba-doo-hoo-whom
1670
01:14:54,638 --> 01:14:57,551
Who wrote the book of love?
1671
01:14:57,808 --> 01:15:01,119
I wonder who
1672
01:15:01,312 --> 01:15:02,222
Yeah.
1673
01:15:02,313 --> 01:15:07,386
Who wrote the book of love?
1674
01:15:09,485 --> 01:15:11,431
Thank you.
1675
01:15:12,855 --> 01:15:13,390
Grandma?
1676
01:15:13,590 --> 01:15:15,467
We're down here.
1677
01:15:17,560 --> 01:15:18,937
Oh, boy.
1678
01:15:19,128 --> 01:15:21,438
Oh, Harper. Oh, this is great.
1679
01:15:22,098 --> 01:15:23,076
Wait, my camera.
1680
01:15:23,266 --> 01:15:24,506
Okay.
1681
01:15:28,037 --> 01:15:30,244
Oh, honey, you look so great!
1682
01:15:31,774 --> 01:15:32,582
Thank you.
1683
01:15:32,775 --> 01:15:33,753
You look so beautiful.
1684
01:15:33,943 --> 01:15:35,943
Artie, what do you think
of your granddaughter now?
1685
01:15:40,383 --> 01:15:41,862
Doesn't she look like her mom?
1686
01:15:42,051 --> 01:15:43,496
Just like her mom.
1687
01:15:44,687 --> 01:15:46,166
Hey, it stopped raining.
1688
01:15:46,356 --> 01:15:49,200
Carl says we should go outside
and play again!
1689
01:15:49,392 --> 01:15:51,133
Oh, no, Barker, it's too muddy.
1690
01:15:51,327 --> 01:15:52,931
But he wants to.
1691
01:15:53,129 --> 01:15:55,473
Barker, remember what we talked about?
1692
01:15:55,832 --> 01:15:59,040
You're the boss of Carl.
You tell him what to do.
1693
01:16:02,070 --> 01:16:03,606
We can't go out now, Carl.
1694
01:16:05,173 --> 01:16:06,777
Carl, no!
1695
01:16:07,109 --> 01:16:08,679
- Stop!
- What's wrong?
1696
01:16:08,877 --> 01:16:12,017
He ran away.
He said he's never coming back.
1697
01:16:12,214 --> 01:16:14,160
Oh, he'll come back.
He has to pick up his mail.
1698
01:16:14,349 --> 01:16:15,487
Yeah, mail.
1699
01:16:15,584 --> 01:16:16,790
Makes sense.
1700
01:16:18,720 --> 01:16:20,165
- Barker!
- Carl!
1701
01:16:20,255 --> 01:16:21,199
Artie, get him.
1702
01:16:21,289 --> 01:16:23,166
Barker has left without adult supervision.
1703
01:16:23,358 --> 01:16:25,463
Carl, don't go!
1704
01:16:26,461 --> 01:16:27,439
Barker!
1705
01:16:27,529 --> 01:16:28,530
Goodbye, Artie Decker.
1706
01:16:28,630 --> 01:16:29,802
Barker!
1707
01:16:38,040 --> 01:16:39,849
How many heart attacks can you give me?
1708
01:16:40,208 --> 01:16:41,186
Oh, no, no, no!
1709
01:16:41,376 --> 01:16:42,787
- Barker, are you okay?
- He's fine.
1710
01:16:44,146 --> 01:16:45,216
What, are you hurt?
1711
01:16:45,414 --> 01:16:47,155
Look, can't you see?
1712
01:16:47,416 --> 01:16:50,488
He's dead, the car killed him!
Carl is dead!
1713
01:16:50,686 --> 01:16:53,188
What? No! I killed Carl?
1714
01:16:53,554 --> 01:16:55,397
Oh, honey, he's fine. He's just dazed.
1715
01:16:55,589 --> 01:16:57,269
Yeah, yeah. Carl, you're okay, aren't you?
1716
01:16:57,324 --> 01:16:58,964
Yeah, I'm all right, mate. I'm all right!
1717
01:16:59,093 --> 01:17:00,902
- That wasn't Carl, that was you!
- Shut up!
1718
01:17:01,095 --> 01:17:02,574
No, he's not all right!
1719
01:17:02,997 --> 01:17:05,500
He's dead! He's mushed all over the road.
1720
01:17:05,700 --> 01:17:08,237
His head is here and his body's over there!
1721
01:17:08,436 --> 01:17:12,248
It's your fault! You made me get
into a fight with him!
1722
01:17:12,440 --> 01:17:14,442
We are so past weird.
1723
01:17:15,609 --> 01:17:17,054
I love Carl!
1724
01:17:17,244 --> 01:17:19,383
I even pack extra fortune cookies for him!
1725
01:17:19,580 --> 01:17:21,651
Excuse me, what's Chinese for mental case?
1726
01:17:22,950 --> 01:17:24,088
Hello?
1727
01:17:30,791 --> 01:17:32,952
We were cruising
and heard the alarm. Is everyone okay?
1728
01:17:32,960 --> 01:17:33,700
Yes.
1729
01:17:33,894 --> 01:17:36,602
No, he's dead! The car killed him!
1730
01:17:36,797 --> 01:17:38,674
He came out of nowhere!
1731
01:17:38,866 --> 01:17:40,539
Officer, you're wasting your time.
1732
01:17:40,735 --> 01:17:42,296
What happened? Why are the police here?
1733
01:17:42,436 --> 01:17:43,744
Why is the alarm on?
1734
01:17:43,938 --> 01:17:45,177
- Oh, hi!
- Mommy!
1735
01:17:45,371 --> 01:17:46,645
- Was there a break-in?
- It's nothing.
1736
01:17:46,840 --> 01:17:49,878
It's absolutely nothing.
What are you doing home?
1737
01:17:50,076 --> 01:17:51,214
I killed Carl!
1738
01:17:51,411 --> 01:17:53,186
- What?
- You killed Carl? How?
1739
01:17:53,379 --> 01:17:55,552
Who is Carl? Is he a family member?
1740
01:17:55,749 --> 01:17:56,591
- Yes!
- No!
1741
01:17:56,783 --> 01:17:58,421
He's a kangaroo!
1742
01:17:58,618 --> 01:17:59,528
He's a what?
1743
01:17:59,719 --> 01:18:00,857
Turner, your eye!
1744
01:18:01,054 --> 01:18:02,226
How did that happen?
1745
01:18:02,889 --> 01:18:03,867
Artie did it?
1746
01:18:04,090 --> 01:18:07,594
Oh, no, no, no. Ivan's sister did it.
I did that.
1747
01:18:07,794 --> 01:18:08,772
You hit Mom?
1748
01:18:08,862 --> 01:18:09,897
It was an accident!
1749
01:18:10,096 --> 01:18:11,336
Ma'am, would you like to file a complaint?
1750
01:18:11,531 --> 01:18:12,532
No!
1751
01:18:12,632 --> 01:18:13,702
We were playing a game.
1752
01:18:13,800 --> 01:18:15,279
That's the dress.
1753
01:18:15,468 --> 01:18:16,708
Does she have make-up on?
1754
01:18:17,971 --> 01:18:19,211
Don't growl at us.
1755
01:18:19,405 --> 01:18:20,245
This is unbelievable.
1756
01:18:20,406 --> 01:18:22,579
We leave and she's 12,
we come home and she's 16.
1757
01:18:22,942 --> 01:18:23,920
Boys, go in the house.
1758
01:18:24,110 --> 01:18:25,680
Turner, turn off the alarm, please.
1759
01:18:25,879 --> 01:18:27,586
You know, you're not supposed
to be back until tomorrow.
1760
01:18:27,781 --> 01:18:29,522
Well, we were just so curious...
1761
01:18:29,716 --> 01:18:32,720
as to why Barker was nearly
killed this morning at the X Games!
1762
01:18:32,919 --> 01:18:34,523
Get your taser ready.
1763
01:18:35,421 --> 01:18:36,399
That's not right.
1764
01:18:36,589 --> 01:18:38,693
Barker was at a play date
this morning with Artie.
1765
01:18:38,891 --> 01:18:39,801
Yeah?
1766
01:18:43,495 --> 01:18:45,532
I was in a little bind...
1767
01:18:45,731 --> 01:18:48,041
and I had to take him
with me on some business.
1768
01:18:48,233 --> 01:18:49,974
What business did you have
at the X Games?
1769
01:18:50,169 --> 01:18:52,149
Yeah, Artie, what business?
1770
01:18:59,611 --> 01:19:01,648
Aren't we forgetting
the most serious issue here?
1771
01:19:01,847 --> 01:19:02,882
What issue?
1772
01:19:02,981 --> 01:19:05,257
The death of an imaginary kangaroo.
1773
01:19:05,450 --> 01:19:06,451
He's imaginary?
1774
01:19:06,652 --> 01:19:07,630
Yes!
1775
01:19:09,822 --> 01:19:10,800
You can go.
1776
01:19:15,761 --> 01:19:18,264
Would someone please explain
what happened to Carl?
1777
01:19:18,463 --> 01:19:19,703
We were playing Kick the Can...
1778
01:19:19,865 --> 01:19:22,141
and it started to rain,
so we all came indoors...
1779
01:19:22,334 --> 01:19:24,837
and I was helping
Harper get dressed for her party.
1780
01:19:25,037 --> 01:19:26,983
A party? You're throwing a party?
1781
01:19:27,172 --> 01:19:27,972
No, Dad, I'm going to a party.
1782
01:19:27,973 --> 01:19:28,576
No, Dad, I'm going to a party.
1783
01:19:28,774 --> 01:19:29,752
For a boy who likes her.
1784
01:19:29,942 --> 01:19:31,579
A boy? What boy?
1785
01:19:31,776 --> 01:19:34,188
The night before your audition?
Are you kidding?
1786
01:19:34,378 --> 01:19:35,516
I told her she could go.
1787
01:19:35,713 --> 01:19:38,694
It's ridiculous. It is out of the question.
1788
01:19:38,883 --> 01:19:40,760
Maybe it's ridiculous for me to spend
1789
01:19:40,852 --> 01:19:42,695
all my time practicing the violin...
1790
01:19:42,887 --> 01:19:46,357
never doing anything else
and auditioning for a school tomorrow...
1791
01:19:46,557 --> 01:19:48,537
where I'm never going to do anything else
1792
01:19:48,626 --> 01:19:50,537
the whole rest of my life.
1793
01:19:55,199 --> 01:19:56,974
Well, she's using her words.
1794
01:19:57,168 --> 01:20:00,377
Harper. Harper!
I cannot allow you to take a talent...
1795
01:20:00,571 --> 01:20:03,780
a gift to which you have
dedicated so much time and effort...
1796
01:20:03,975 --> 01:20:06,285
and throw it away on a whim.
1797
01:20:06,477 --> 01:20:09,481
I hate you and I wish
anyone else was my mother!
1798
01:20:11,048 --> 01:20:12,994
Maybe not those words.
1799
01:20:13,384 --> 01:20:14,556
Thanks, Mom and Dad.
1800
01:20:14,752 --> 01:20:16,792
I couldn't have
gotten through the week without you.
1801
01:20:23,159 --> 01:20:24,760
I say we head for the airport right now.
1802
01:20:24,928 --> 01:20:27,534
Don't even take our clothes
we just skedaddle.
1803
01:20:31,401 --> 01:20:34,405
I followed you for 35 years, Artie.
1804
01:20:37,374 --> 01:20:41,754
Wherever you needed to be,
that's where I was.
1805
01:20:42,612 --> 01:20:44,649
No complaints.
1806
01:20:46,416 --> 01:20:48,692
Well, some.
1807
01:20:51,054 --> 01:20:52,897
But this week...
1808
01:20:54,024 --> 01:20:57,198
This week was supposed to be about
us and our grandchildren.
1809
01:20:58,228 --> 01:21:00,174
Not you.
1810
01:21:01,865 --> 01:21:03,401
Not you.
1811
01:21:07,003 --> 01:21:10,212
Did you have to go to that audition?
1812
01:21:11,975 --> 01:21:14,717
It's not one of my better moments.
1813
01:21:18,147 --> 01:21:20,650
For one wonderful hour...
1814
01:21:22,084 --> 01:21:26,897
we weren't the "other" grandparents.
1815
01:21:30,993 --> 01:21:32,472
There you are.
1816
01:21:33,629 --> 01:21:35,267
You okay?
1817
01:21:36,865 --> 01:21:39,471
I've had better Mommy days.
1818
01:21:40,302 --> 01:21:44,148
You know, it may not have been
horrible to let her go to that party.
1819
01:21:44,340 --> 01:21:45,751
I know.
1820
01:21:45,941 --> 01:21:48,979
I just walked into that
scene and I freaked.
1821
01:21:51,380 --> 01:21:53,189
I can't believe my parents killed Carl.
1822
01:21:53,716 --> 01:21:56,162
Well, I was thinking about that.
1823
01:21:56,352 --> 01:22:00,596
You know, they didn't kill
Carl, only Barker could do that.
1824
01:22:02,057 --> 01:22:06,802
And it somehow took us
not being here for him to do it.
1825
01:22:08,397 --> 01:22:10,637
So, what's your point?
1826
01:22:11,866 --> 01:22:14,176
Maybe we coddle him too much.
1827
01:22:15,136 --> 01:22:17,844
Maybe he needed a little tough love...
1828
01:22:18,039 --> 01:22:20,110
to let go of his imaginary friend.
1829
01:22:20,308 --> 01:22:24,950
But, Phil, that would make my father right.
1830
01:22:25,413 --> 01:22:27,984
Yeah. We can't have any of that.
1831
01:22:30,985 --> 01:22:31,827
Harper?
1832
01:22:35,590 --> 01:22:36,796
I could come back.
1833
01:22:36,991 --> 01:22:39,130
No, no, no, it's okay.
1834
01:22:39,327 --> 01:22:41,307
I'm going to check on Barker.
1835
01:22:43,831 --> 01:22:45,504
Thanks, Phil.
1836
01:22:53,674 --> 01:22:54,652
I'm sorry.
1837
01:22:58,246 --> 01:22:59,384
For what?
1838
01:22:59,580 --> 01:23:01,150
Narrow it down for me, Dad.
1839
01:23:01,349 --> 01:23:02,725
For this week.
1840
01:23:04,351 --> 01:23:06,262
For almost getting Barker hurt today.
1841
01:23:06,353 --> 01:23:08,196
I just feel terrible about that.
1842
01:23:10,257 --> 01:23:12,066
What were you even doing there?
1843
01:23:18,065 --> 01:23:20,773
I was on an audition.
1844
01:23:21,635 --> 01:23:23,637
Because the Grizzlies fired me.
1845
01:23:24,838 --> 01:23:26,374
What?
1846
01:23:27,841 --> 01:23:29,047
Why didn't you tell us?
1847
01:23:29,242 --> 01:23:30,380
Because it's humiliating.
1848
01:23:30,577 --> 01:23:32,079
Why would they do that?
1849
01:23:32,279 --> 01:23:34,122
You're so good at that job.
1850
01:23:34,981 --> 01:23:35,959
Maybe not good enough.
1851
01:23:38,518 --> 01:23:39,895
Alice...
1852
01:23:40,854 --> 01:23:42,014
your mom was really hoping...
1853
01:23:42,022 --> 01:23:45,435
that this trip would help bring
her closer to her grandchildren.
1854
01:23:46,259 --> 01:23:47,966
And she and Harper have developed
1855
01:23:48,061 --> 01:23:51,065
a relationship that's kind of great...
1856
01:23:51,331 --> 01:23:55,301
and I don't want
to see that end just because I screwed up.
1857
01:24:00,339 --> 01:24:01,875
What about you?
1858
01:24:02,308 --> 01:24:04,618
Don't you want a relationship
with your grandchildren?
1859
01:24:04,810 --> 01:24:06,517
Of course I do.
1860
01:24:06,712 --> 01:24:08,123
I mean...
1861
01:24:08,314 --> 01:24:12,194
like an hour
before you came home, it was really good.
1862
01:24:13,152 --> 01:24:15,257
It's just that sometimes...
1863
01:24:17,223 --> 01:24:18,930
I don't feel...
1864
01:24:19,325 --> 01:24:20,497
What?
1865
01:24:20,860 --> 01:24:24,535
Welcome, here.
1866
01:24:30,236 --> 01:24:32,341
What happened to us, Dad?
1867
01:24:36,142 --> 01:24:38,679
How old were you when Harper was born?
1868
01:24:38,911 --> 01:24:40,185
Twenty-six.
1869
01:24:40,379 --> 01:24:41,700
Did you know what you were doing?
1870
01:24:42,014 --> 01:24:43,015
No.
1871
01:24:43,983 --> 01:24:46,896
I was 23 when you came along.
1872
01:24:47,085 --> 01:24:50,726
And I was terrified, because you didn't
come with any instructions.
1873
01:24:50,922 --> 01:24:52,731
And I thought I was doing okay.
1874
01:24:52,924 --> 01:24:57,236
Because unlike my father,
I wasn't constantly telling you...
1875
01:24:57,428 --> 01:25:00,409
what an annoying little waste
of time you were...
1876
01:25:00,598 --> 01:25:02,669
and believe me, I'm cleaning that up.
1877
01:25:02,867 --> 01:25:05,677
And I thought that we were
actually having fun.
1878
01:25:05,870 --> 01:25:09,340
Me and the weather girl...
1879
01:25:09,541 --> 01:25:13,148
and the cutest little girl you ever saw,
traveling around the country.
1880
01:25:13,344 --> 01:25:16,223
But then years go by,
and your daughter goes off to college...
1881
01:25:16,414 --> 01:25:20,055
and she doesn't come home
for Thanksgiving or Christmas.
1882
01:25:21,119 --> 01:25:22,655
Or summers.
1883
01:25:22,854 --> 01:25:24,197
Or ever.
1884
01:25:24,889 --> 01:25:28,166
And you get these clues, this inkling...
1885
01:25:28,359 --> 01:25:31,465
that perhaps all those years
she wasn't having such a good time...
1886
01:25:31,663 --> 01:25:36,703
and that maybe she thought
you didn't do such a good job.
1887
01:25:36,901 --> 01:25:39,780
And that really hurts. Doesn't it?
1888
01:25:42,439 --> 01:25:44,112
Yes.
1889
01:25:44,474 --> 01:25:47,944
So, little girl,
I have to give you three put-ups.
1890
01:25:49,313 --> 01:25:50,291
- No, Dad.
- Please.
1891
01:25:50,480 --> 01:25:51,390
It's okay.
1892
01:25:51,582 --> 01:25:55,052
Harper, Turner, Barker.
1893
01:25:55,252 --> 01:25:57,732
They're great kids
and you're a really good mother.
1894
01:25:58,655 --> 01:25:59,656
Yeah.
1895
01:25:59,856 --> 01:26:02,598
I'm basking in the glow
of my children's affection.
1896
01:26:02,793 --> 01:26:04,898
Harper? She didn't mean anything.
1897
01:26:05,095 --> 01:26:06,403
I mean, she's 12.
1898
01:26:06,597 --> 01:26:08,599
Get ready, it's going to get a lot worse.
1899
01:26:09,833 --> 01:26:13,645
Only, don't let her turn her back on you.
1900
01:26:13,837 --> 01:26:15,783
Because that will break your heart.
1901
01:26:18,809 --> 01:26:19,981
Harper?
1902
01:26:21,812 --> 01:26:22,790
No.
1903
01:26:23,814 --> 01:26:28,092
Barker has a special request
for tomorrow, before the audition.
1904
01:26:28,685 --> 01:26:30,756
And it involves all of us.
1905
01:26:47,270 --> 01:26:50,979
Carl, your two favorite things were milk
and tofu dogs.
1906
01:26:51,173 --> 01:26:53,653
Now, you can have both forever.
1907
01:27:11,193 --> 01:27:13,764
Grandma, thanks for decorating the box.
1908
01:27:14,030 --> 01:27:17,034
Oh, honey, it was my pleasure.
1909
01:27:20,069 --> 01:27:21,878
Carl...
1910
01:27:22,071 --> 01:27:24,551
Can Artie say something nice for Carl?
1911
01:27:24,740 --> 01:27:25,911
Me?
1912
01:27:35,550 --> 01:27:36,528
How do you...
1913
01:27:38,053 --> 01:27:41,125
I'm sorry, Carl.
1914
01:27:41,323 --> 01:27:43,929
He died so young.
1915
01:27:45,994 --> 01:27:49,271
How do you say goodbye
to somebody you could never say hello to?
1916
01:27:49,464 --> 01:27:50,704
It's hard.
1917
01:27:52,000 --> 01:27:53,604
I didn't get to see Carl very often,
1918
01:27:53,702 --> 01:27:55,272
but then again, nobody else did.
1919
01:27:56,938 --> 01:27:59,418
Except for Barker...
1920
01:27:59,607 --> 01:28:02,383
which is what made him so special.
1921
01:28:03,345 --> 01:28:07,657
Carl wasn't just Barker's friend,
he was a part of him.
1922
01:28:07,849 --> 01:28:11,092
And that made him a part of all of us.
1923
01:28:13,588 --> 01:28:16,899
Carl, you will forever be in our hearts.
1924
01:28:17,592 --> 01:28:19,298
Keep on hopping, buddy.
1925
01:28:47,821 --> 01:28:48,629
Okay.
1926
01:28:48,822 --> 01:28:51,132
Alice, you take Harper backstage.
We'll grab some seats.
1927
01:28:51,325 --> 01:28:52,303
Barker, Turner, you're with us.
1928
01:28:52,526 --> 01:28:53,726
- Good luck.
- Knock them dead.
1929
01:28:53,861 --> 01:28:54,839
Thanks.
1930
01:28:55,028 --> 01:28:56,336
Break a leg.
1931
01:28:56,530 --> 01:28:57,941
Bye, Dad.
1932
01:29:20,319 --> 01:29:22,424
Don't applaud. That's that woman!
1933
01:29:23,189 --> 01:29:24,463
Good evening.
1934
01:29:24,690 --> 01:29:28,797
Welcome family, friends
and distinguished judges...
1935
01:29:28,995 --> 01:29:31,601
to the Atlanta Performing Arts Center.
1936
01:29:31,798 --> 01:29:34,108
I am Doctor Schveer.
1937
01:29:37,170 --> 01:29:41,016
We have 74 amazingly talented musicians...
1938
01:29:41,207 --> 01:29:45,678
all vying for one position
at this prestigious conservatory.
1939
01:29:45,878 --> 01:29:48,518
So, without further ado I give you
1940
01:29:48,614 --> 01:29:51,220
Chet Halloran on the saxophone
1941
01:29:51,417 --> 01:29:53,795
Yeah! Go Chet!
1942
01:30:22,180 --> 01:30:24,751
Hang on a second, honey.
1943
01:30:29,221 --> 01:30:32,168
You know,
when you were just five years old...
1944
01:30:32,357 --> 01:30:34,928
we took you to that
little music school for the first time.
1945
01:30:35,126 --> 01:30:38,903
And all the other kids
they were just banging on things.
1946
01:30:39,965 --> 01:30:42,571
One kid tried to play another kid.
1947
01:30:43,568 --> 01:30:47,380
But from that very first day, you played.
1948
01:30:47,739 --> 01:30:49,275
And not just played...
1949
01:30:49,474 --> 01:30:52,717
you had this look
of such fulfillment on your face.
1950
01:30:52,978 --> 01:30:55,117
And I said to your dad,
"Whatever it takes..."
1951
01:30:55,313 --> 01:30:57,155
"whatever we have to do, I always"
1952
01:30:57,248 --> 01:30:59,728
"want to see that look on her face."
1953
01:31:01,218 --> 01:31:03,721
Lately, I'm not seeing it.
1954
01:31:04,622 --> 01:31:08,434
So, honey, do you
really not want to switch schools again?
1955
01:31:11,762 --> 01:31:12,900
Okay.
1956
01:31:13,664 --> 01:31:15,803
What do you say we ditch this audition?
1957
01:31:17,434 --> 01:31:18,504
Really?
1958
01:31:18,702 --> 01:31:21,478
Yeah. It's okay.
1959
01:31:24,041 --> 01:31:26,146
Mommy, I didn't mean what I said.
1960
01:31:27,011 --> 01:31:28,513
Oh, baby.
1961
01:31:29,179 --> 01:31:32,649
I wouldn't want anyone else to be my mom.
1962
01:31:32,850 --> 01:31:34,659
And I love you.
1963
01:31:34,852 --> 01:31:38,265
That's good
because you're my only daughter.
1964
01:31:38,622 --> 01:31:42,661
And you know,
I don't really understand the boys.
1965
01:31:42,860 --> 01:31:45,966
I know. How weird are they?
1966
01:31:48,899 --> 01:31:50,002
Yeah, yeah!
1967
01:31:50,199 --> 01:31:51,200
Hi, baby.
1968
01:31:52,969 --> 01:31:58,043
We regret to inform you
of a slight change in our program.
1969
01:31:58,241 --> 01:32:00,221
Harper Simmons has forfeited her slot...
1970
01:32:02,545 --> 01:32:04,024
and her future.
1971
01:32:04,213 --> 01:32:06,489
Since the next performer is warming up...
1972
01:32:06,683 --> 01:32:08,663
we're going to have to take
a 10 minute break.
1973
01:32:12,055 --> 01:32:13,500
Hey, what's going on?
1974
01:32:13,590 --> 01:32:15,263
She's not going to audition.
1975
01:32:15,458 --> 01:32:17,019
You're not disappointed in me, are you?
1976
01:32:17,193 --> 01:32:19,673
Oh, no, no, no. That's
not even a possibility.
1977
01:32:19,862 --> 01:32:21,773
Is this is all my fault? It is, isn't it?
1978
01:32:21,965 --> 01:32:24,002
I came 3,000 miles
to ruin my granddaughter's life.
1979
01:32:24,200 --> 01:32:25,042
It's not your fault.
1980
01:32:25,234 --> 01:32:26,941
- Really?
- It was our choice.
1981
01:32:27,136 --> 01:32:28,012
I love you.
1982
01:32:28,204 --> 01:32:29,979
Here, take my picture, Phil.
1983
01:32:30,907 --> 01:32:31,851
Get in there.
1984
01:32:39,148 --> 01:32:40,024
Where's Turner?
1985
01:32:40,216 --> 01:32:41,456
You! Kid!
1986
01:32:44,186 --> 01:32:45,392
Turner!
1987
01:32:53,095 --> 01:32:55,132
Bobby Thomson, up there swinging.
1988
01:32:55,697 --> 01:32:57,335
He's had two out of three,
a single and a double...
1989
01:32:57,532 --> 01:33:00,308
and Billy Cox is playing him
right an the third base line.
1990
01:33:00,502 --> 01:33:02,914
One out, last of the ninth. Branca pitches.
1991
01:33:03,105 --> 01:33:06,484
Bobby Thomson takes a strike
called on the inside corner.
1992
01:33:06,675 --> 01:33:08,586
Bobby hitting at .292.
1993
01:33:08,777 --> 01:33:09,653
He's had a single and a double“
1994
01:33:09,845 --> 01:33:13,918
and he drove in the Giants
first run with a long fly to center.
1995
01:33:14,116 --> 01:33:15,720
Lockman without
too big of a lead at second...
1996
01:33:15,917 --> 01:33:18,727
but he 'll be
running like the wind if Thomson hits one.
1997
01:33:18,920 --> 01:33:19,990
Branca throws.
1998
01:33:20,188 --> 01:33:22,225
There's a long drive!
It's gonna be, I believe...
1999
01:33:22,424 --> 01:33:26,236
The Giants win the pennant!
The Giants win the pennant!
2000
01:33:26,428 --> 01:33:28,271
The Giants win the pennant!
2001
01:33:28,463 --> 01:33:30,238
The Giants win the pennant...
2002
01:33:30,432 --> 01:33:32,173
and they're going crazy.
2003
01:33:32,367 --> 01:33:34,040
They're going crazy!
2004
01:33:34,236 --> 01:33:37,011
And home!
2005
01:33:37,204 --> 01:33:38,765
I don't believe it! I don't believe it!
2006
01:33:39,473 --> 01:33:40,781
I do not believe it!
2007
01:33:40,975 --> 01:33:43,285
Bobby Thomson hit a line drive...
2008
01:33:43,477 --> 01:33:46,253
into the lower deck of
the left field stands“
2009
01:33:46,447 --> 01:33:49,018
and the place is going crazy!
2010
01:33:49,216 --> 01:33:52,959
The Giants won it by a score of 5 to 4...
2011
01:33:53,154 --> 01:33:55,464
and they're picking Bobby Thomson up
2012
01:33:55,556 --> 01:33:57,797
and carrying him off the field!
2013
01:34:01,495 --> 01:34:03,475
Yeah! Yeah!
2014
01:34:12,773 --> 01:34:15,982
I saw it. I saw it, Artie.
2015
01:34:16,577 --> 01:34:18,454
Call me Grandpa.
2016
01:34:23,250 --> 01:34:26,390
My big boy. How on earth...?
2017
01:34:26,587 --> 01:34:28,065
Grandpa taught me.
2018
01:34:37,430 --> 01:34:39,637
Your father was wrong.
2019
01:34:41,468 --> 01:34:42,970
So was yours.
2020
01:34:47,474 --> 01:34:48,316
Oh, Al.
2021
01:34:52,812 --> 01:34:55,986
How much would it
embarrass you if I kissed you right now?
2022
01:34:56,316 --> 01:34:57,454
I think a lot.
2023
01:34:57,650 --> 01:34:58,822
As soon as we get home.
2024
01:34:59,018 --> 01:35:00,361
Okay, I look forward to it.
2025
01:35:00,553 --> 01:35:02,863
Dr. Schveer, I shun you.
2026
01:35:03,056 --> 01:35:04,933
You are shunned.
2027
01:35:07,660 --> 01:35:10,060
My friends, it's taken me over 35 years
to say these words...
2028
01:35:10,230 --> 01:35:11,732
it's opening day for the Giants
2029
01:35:11,831 --> 01:35:13,310
and we've got a capacity crowd.
2030
01:35:13,500 --> 01:35:15,673
Giants are out in the field.
There's Charlie "The Naz" Naznic...
2031
01:35:15,869 --> 01:35:18,145
batting .290, takes his
stance at the plate.
2032
01:35:18,338 --> 01:35:21,318
Yes, Art. Let's see
if Naz can get his team out of a jam.
2033
01:35:21,507 --> 01:35:23,111
Okay, Turner, here's the action.
2034
01:35:23,342 --> 01:35:24,218
Naz swings!
2035
01:35:24,409 --> 01:35:25,609
He gets some wood on that one!
2036
01:35:25,644 --> 01:35:26,850
Hard drive to Barker Simmons.
2037
01:35:26,979 --> 01:35:28,014
It's through his legs.
2038
01:35:28,213 --> 01:35:29,783
Walters has it. No, Walters loses it.
2039
01:35:30,883 --> 01:35:33,523
Sherman's got a glove down.
No, he stopped to pick his nose.
2040
01:35:33,719 --> 01:35:35,995
Now, Douglas is sitting down
and taking off his shoes...
2041
01:35:36,188 --> 01:35:37,948
because his mom said to me
before the game...
2042
01:35:38,090 --> 01:35:39,831
"Sometimes he's in another world."
2043
01:35:40,025 --> 01:35:41,663
Sherman still working
on that thing in his nose.
2044
01:35:41,860 --> 01:35:43,635
Man, that must be really packed in there!
2045
01:35:43,829 --> 01:35:44,739
You betcha!
2046
01:35:44,930 --> 01:35:46,000
Naz rounds second, heads for third.
2047
01:35:46,198 --> 01:35:48,337
Sherman has the booger!
Sherman has the booger!
2048
01:35:48,534 --> 01:35:51,572
I don't believe it! I do not believe it!
2049
01:35:51,770 --> 01:35:53,374
The other players are coming over
to examine it.
2050
01:35:53,572 --> 01:35:55,210
I can see it from here!
2051
01:35:55,407 --> 01:35:58,013
You could take
an aerial photograph of that thing!
2052
01:35:58,210 --> 01:36:01,214
I'm sure there's going
to be orange slices in the locker room...
2053
01:36:01,413 --> 01:36:02,373
and a couple of tissues.
2054
01:36:02,414 --> 01:36:05,486
Meanwhile, Naz scores.
And that is another home run!
2055
01:36:06,451 --> 01:36:10,763
The Giants are still leading, 34 to 27.
2056
01:36:10,956 --> 01:36:12,162
What a first inning!
2057
01:36:12,357 --> 01:36:13,199
You're telling me.
2058
01:36:13,392 --> 01:36:15,098
I hope the second inning is shorter
2059
01:36:15,193 --> 01:36:16,866
because grandpa needs a bathroom break.
2060
01:36:17,195 --> 01:36:19,175
Go Barker!
2061
01:36:19,363 --> 01:36:20,671
Our next batter is coming
up to the plate.
2062
01:36:20,865 --> 01:36:23,072
He's number three, Barker Simmons.
2063
01:36:23,267 --> 01:36:25,372
Yeah, Barker!
2064
01:36:25,603 --> 01:36:29,176
Young man with incredible
power. Three-foot-four and 45 pounds.
2065
01:36:30,241 --> 01:36:32,744
He hits it to shortstop. Oh, it's through!
2066
01:36:32,944 --> 01:36:34,305
Barker heading towards first base.
2067
01:36:34,378 --> 01:36:35,516
No, he makes a right turn!
2068
01:36:35,713 --> 01:36:37,386
He makes a right turn.
2069
01:36:37,582 --> 01:36:38,617
Barker, go back!
2070
01:36:38,716 --> 01:36:40,195
He's going the wrong way.
2071
01:36:40,918 --> 01:36:42,226
What are you doing here?
2072
01:36:42,420 --> 01:36:44,127
I just wanted to say hi.
2073
01:36:44,322 --> 01:36:46,393
He just wanted to say hi.
2074
01:36:46,591 --> 01:36:48,111
Well, I don't think I've ever heard...
2075
01:36:48,226 --> 01:36:49,866
Turn around, everybody. Take our picture.
2076
01:36:49,961 --> 01:36:51,599
Okay, picture.
2077
01:37:04,675 --> 01:37:06,813
I got to tell you friends,
this is one of those days.
2078
01:37:07,010 --> 01:37:09,991
Seventy-eight degrees,
the sold out crowd of 56 fans...
2079
01:37:10,180 --> 01:37:12,091
the smell of the popcorn, the hot dogs“
2080
01:37:12,282 --> 01:37:14,762
the loud pushy parents,
and the crying kids.
2081
01:37:14,951 --> 01:37:17,830
But I'll tell you something,
there's no other place I'd rather be.
2082
01:37:18,021 --> 01:37:20,433
Andes my grandson Barker
said to me this morning...
2083
01:37:20,624 --> 01:37:22,729
"Man, your feet smell like cheese. "
2084
01:37:22,926 --> 01:37:25,065
This is Artie Decker,
De Voice of the Peewee Giants..
2085
01:37:25,262 --> 01:37:26,297
Saying see you next game!
2086
01:37:26,496 --> 01:37:28,498
And, lights out, Alice.
2087
01:37:28,965 --> 01:37:33,812
♪ Settle dawn,
it'll all be clear
2088
01:37:36,873 --> 01:37:39,683
♪ Don't pay no mind
to the demons
2089
01:37:39,776 --> 01:37:41,722
♪ They fill you with fear
2090
01:37:44,814 --> 01:37:47,761
♪ The trouble,
it might drag you down
2091
01:37:48,084 --> 01:37:51,497
♪ If you get lost,
you can always be found
2092
01:37:52,555 --> 01:37:55,536
♪ Just know you're not alone
2093
01:37:57,027 --> 01:38:00,701
♪ 'Cause I'm going to make
this place your home
2094
01:44:31,446 --> 01:44:35,053
Andy? Andy, there's no paper.
2095
01:44:35,250 --> 01:44:37,787
Anyone have five singles for a five?