1 00:00:06,800 --> 00:00:09,000 (Dramatic music playing) 2 00:00:58,367 --> 00:01:00,533 Man (on radio): YOU'RE LISTENING TO THE MELLOW SOUNDS 3 00:01:00,567 --> 00:01:03,067 OF KCUP, THE K-CUP, 4 00:01:03,100 --> 00:01:05,200 69 ON YOUR RADIO DIAL. 5 00:01:05,233 --> 00:01:08,533 - (Alien noises) - (gibbering nonsense) 6 00:01:08,567 --> 00:01:11,233 (gibbering continues) 7 00:01:20,667 --> 00:01:22,433 (gibbering continues) 8 00:01:24,033 --> 00:01:26,600 (screams) 9 00:01:28,000 --> 00:01:30,300 (dramatic music playing) 10 00:01:35,067 --> 00:01:37,200 (upbeat march playing) 11 00:01:40,433 --> 00:01:44,033 * ATTACK OF THE KILLER TOMATOES * 12 00:01:44,067 --> 00:01:47,500 * ATTACK OF THE KILLER TOMATOES * 13 00:01:47,533 --> 00:01:49,500 * THEY'LL BEAT YOU, BASH YOU, SQUISH YOU, MASH YOU * 14 00:01:49,533 --> 00:01:51,500 * CHEW YOU UP FOR BRUNCH 15 00:01:51,533 --> 00:01:53,900 * AND FINISH YOU OFF FOR DINNER OR LUNCH * 16 00:01:56,433 --> 00:01:59,900 * THEY'RE MARCHING DOWN THE HALLS * 17 00:01:59,933 --> 00:02:03,567 * THEY'RE CRAWLING UP THE WALLS * 18 00:02:03,600 --> 00:02:05,433 * THEY'RE GOOEY, GUSHY, SQUISHY, MUSHY * 19 00:02:05,467 --> 00:02:07,233 * ROTTEN TO THE CORE 20 00:02:07,267 --> 00:02:10,800 * THEY'RE STANDING OUTSIDE YOUR DOOR * 21 00:02:12,667 --> 00:02:15,867 * REMEMBER HERBERT FARBAGE * 22 00:02:15,900 --> 00:02:19,933 * WHILE TAKING OUT HIS GARBAGE * 23 00:02:19,967 --> 00:02:21,433 * HE TURNED AROUND, AND HE DID SEE * 24 00:02:21,467 --> 00:02:23,300 *TOMATOES HIDING IN HIS TREE 25 00:02:23,333 --> 00:02:26,467 * NOW HE'S JUST A MEMORY 26 00:02:28,500 --> 00:02:32,000 * I KNOW I'M GOING TO MISS HER * 27 00:02:32,033 --> 00:02:35,467 * A TOMATO ATE MY SISTER 28 00:02:35,500 --> 00:02:37,400 * SACRAMENTO FELL TODAY 29 00:02:37,433 --> 00:02:39,267 * THEY'RE MARCHING INTO SAN JOSE * 30 00:02:39,300 --> 00:02:42,800 * TOMATOES ARE ON THEIR WAY 31 00:02:44,633 --> 00:02:47,967 * THE MAYOR IS ON VACATION 32 00:02:48,000 --> 00:02:51,833 * THE GOVERNOR'S FLED THE NATION * 33 00:02:51,867 --> 00:02:53,500 * THE POLICE HAVE GONE ON STRIKE TODAY * 34 00:02:53,533 --> 00:02:55,333 * THE NATIONAL GUARD HAS RUN AWAY * 35 00:02:55,367 --> 00:02:58,467 * TOMATOES WILL HAVE THEIR DAY * 36 00:03:00,467 --> 00:03:03,967 * ATTACK OF THE KILLER TOMATOES * 37 00:03:04,000 --> 00:03:07,367 * ATTACK OF THE KILLER TOMATOES * 38 00:03:07,400 --> 00:03:09,333 * THEY'LL BEAT YOU, BASH YOU, SQUISH YOU, MASH YOU * 39 00:03:09,367 --> 00:03:11,167 * CHEW YOU UP FOR BRUNCH 40 00:03:11,200 --> 00:03:14,333 * AND FINISH YOU OFF FOR DINNER OR LUNCH, MUNCH, MUNCH * 41 00:03:14,367 --> 00:03:16,167 * DINNER OR LUNCH, MUNCH, MUNCH * 42 00:03:16,200 --> 00:03:20,333 * DINNER OR LUNCH 43 00:03:22,233 --> 00:03:24,467 Woman (over police radio): ONE ADAM 12. SEE THE WOMAN? 44 00:03:26,867 --> 00:03:29,200 Man (over police radio): HOUSTON, WE HAVE A PROBLEM UP HERE. 45 00:03:29,233 --> 00:03:30,833 Man (on radio): IT'S HALF PAST THE HOUR, 46 00:03:30,867 --> 00:03:33,533 AND NOW TIME FOR THE NEWS WITH MICHAEL ST. JAMES. 47 00:03:33,567 --> 00:03:36,067 Man: WHAT DO YOU MAKE OF IT? 48 00:03:36,100 --> 00:03:37,933 Man #2: I DON'T KNOW, JOE. 49 00:03:37,967 --> 00:03:40,800 NO WEAPONS, NO MOTIVE, NO CLOTHES. 50 00:03:40,833 --> 00:03:45,767 ALL WE'VE GOT TO GO ON IS THIS BLOODY CORPSE. 51 00:03:45,800 --> 00:03:48,267 - WELL, LOOK AGAIN, HARRY. - HUH? 52 00:03:51,833 --> 00:03:55,433 NOT BLOOD... 53 00:03:55,467 --> 00:04:00,100 Man (on radio): DUE IN A LARGE PART TO A MAJOR SURPLUS OF TOMATOES. 54 00:04:00,133 --> 00:04:02,767 TOMATO JUICE. 55 00:04:02,800 --> 00:04:06,500 THE TOMATO CROP CONTINUES TO GROW AT AN UNPRECEDENTED RATE. 56 00:04:06,533 --> 00:04:08,933 WITHIN THE LAST 12 HOURS, WE HAVE RECEIVED 57 00:04:08,967 --> 00:04:12,000 A NUMBER OF UNCONFIRMED REPORTS FROM THROUGHOUT THE NATION 58 00:04:12,033 --> 00:04:15,867 THAT MAY OR MAY NOT BE CONNECTED TO THIS STRANGE PHENOMENON. 59 00:04:15,900 --> 00:04:17,467 Man (voice echoing): HMM. 60 00:04:17,500 --> 00:04:20,000 SURE DOESN'T TASTE LIKE TOMATO JUICE. 61 00:04:20,033 --> 00:04:22,700 (Gulping, gagging) 62 00:04:28,500 --> 00:04:30,467 (clattering) 63 00:04:30,500 --> 00:04:33,000 - LOOK AT THE GIANT TOMATO, MARTHA. - (growling) 64 00:04:33,033 --> 00:04:35,867 I DIDN'T KNEW THEY GREW 'EM SO BIG, JESS. 65 00:04:35,900 --> 00:04:37,900 I WONDER WHERE HE'S GOING. 66 00:04:37,933 --> 00:04:40,200 (Clattering, roaring) 67 00:04:40,233 --> 00:04:42,067 HE GOT LITTLE TIMMY. 68 00:04:42,100 --> 00:04:44,133 - POOR TIMMY. - (slurping) 69 00:04:44,167 --> 00:04:47,867 - HE ATE HIM ALL UP. - (burps, gulps) 70 00:04:47,900 --> 00:04:49,700 (sirens wailing) 71 00:04:55,400 --> 00:04:57,233 (gunshots) 72 00:05:25,967 --> 00:05:28,967 Man: THE TOMATOES ARE COMING! SHERIFF, THEY'RE COMING! 73 00:05:29,000 --> 00:05:32,200 MY GOD, DID YOU SEE THAT? A TOMATO... 74 00:05:32,233 --> 00:05:34,100 YOU DIDN'T SEE ANYTHING. YOU DIDN'T HEAR ANYTHING. 75 00:05:34,133 --> 00:05:36,833 - THE PILOT'S STILL IN THERE. - FORGET ABOUT THE PILOT. 76 00:05:36,867 --> 00:05:38,933 - COME OVER HERE! - WE CAN'T LEAVE HIM. 77 00:05:38,967 --> 00:05:41,500 IT'S JUST TOO INCREDIBLE! A KAMIKAZE TOMATO! 78 00:05:41,533 --> 00:05:43,433 - TOMATOES CAN'T FLY! - YEAH? 79 00:05:43,467 --> 00:05:46,867 THEY CAN'T EAT PEOPLE EITHER, BUT THEY'RE DOING ONE HECK OF AN IMPRESSION. 80 00:05:46,900 --> 00:05:49,733 JIM, TALK TO THAT SHERIFF AND FIND OUT WHAT'S GOING ON. 81 00:05:49,767 --> 00:05:52,400 GET OVER HERE! HOW BAD IS IT? 82 00:05:52,433 --> 00:05:54,800 WELL, SIR, I DEFINITELY DON'T THINK IT'LL FLY AGAIN. 83 00:05:54,833 --> 00:05:57,100 I'M NOT TALKING ABOUT THAT, YOU WEINER! WHAT ABOUT THE TOMATOES. 84 00:05:57,133 --> 00:05:58,900 WE FOUND TWO MORE BODIES AT THE MAIN ROAD, 85 00:05:58,933 --> 00:06:00,800 BUT WE PUSHED THE TOMATOES BACK TO THE NORTH END. 86 00:06:00,833 --> 00:06:02,800 - I DON'T THINK ANY MANAGED TO BUST LOOSE. - THEY BETTER NOT HAVE. 87 00:06:02,833 --> 00:06:04,767 - I WANT THIS THING CONTAINED! - I UNDERSTAND, BUT NOTHING SEEMS TO STOP THEM. 88 00:06:04,800 --> 00:06:07,067 WE TRIED CHEMICALS, BUGS, BULLETS. NOTHING SEEMS TO WORK. 89 00:06:11,733 --> 00:06:13,900 LOOK, THE PRESIDENT WANTS A COMPLETE INVESTIGATION. 90 00:06:13,933 --> 00:06:16,400 - WE CAN'T LET THIS OUT. PEOPLE WOULD... - PANIC, THAT'S WHAT. 91 00:06:16,433 --> 00:06:19,400 AND YOU KNOW WHOSE ASS IS ON THE LINE? YOURS, MINE, 92 00:06:19,433 --> 00:06:21,933 - AND THE ENTIRE AG DEPARTMENT. - LOOK OUT! 93 00:06:25,867 --> 00:06:27,633 WHAT IF THE PRESIDENT WANTS AN INVESTIGATION? 94 00:06:27,667 --> 00:06:29,833 HE'LL GET HIS INVESTIGATION, BUT WE'LL KEEP IT QUIET. 95 00:06:29,867 --> 00:06:32,167 I'VE ARRANGED FOR THE MOST OBSCURE GENERALS, 96 00:06:32,200 --> 00:06:35,900 THE MOST OBSCURE SCIENTISTS, AND TO HEAD THE INVESTIGATION, 97 00:06:35,933 --> 00:06:38,900 - THIS MAN. - I DON'T RECOGNIZE HIM. 98 00:06:38,933 --> 00:06:41,800 NOBODY DOES. HIS NAME IS MASON DIXON. 99 00:06:41,833 --> 00:06:43,733 HE HASN'T WORKED SINCE THE BAY OF PIGS. 100 00:06:43,767 --> 00:06:45,733 - IS THERE ANY SIGN OF A PROBLEM ELSEWHERE? - NOT YET. 101 00:06:45,767 --> 00:06:47,900 I'VE ORDERED THE ENTIRE G.D.P. PROGRAM SHUT DOWN. 102 00:06:47,933 --> 00:06:49,333 WAIT A MINUTE. 103 00:06:49,367 --> 00:06:51,667 ISN'T THAT JIM RICHARDSON, THE PRESS SECRETARY? 104 00:06:51,700 --> 00:06:53,867 - WHAT'S HE DOING HERE? - THE PRESIDENT'S GOT HIM KEEPING AN EYE 105 00:06:53,900 --> 00:06:55,567 ON THE INVESTIGATION. 106 00:06:55,600 --> 00:06:56,933 - WHY HIM? - HE'S GOT A VEGETABLE GARDEN, THAT'S WHY. 107 00:06:56,967 --> 00:06:58,933 WITH PEAS AND CARROTS AND SQUASH AND TOMATOES. 108 00:06:58,967 --> 00:07:02,233 THAT SHERIFF TELLS ME THERE WERE REPORTS OF INCIDENTS LIKE THIS ALL OVER THE COUNTY. 109 00:07:02,267 --> 00:07:04,733 OH, BULLSHIT. ONE NUT SPOTS A FLYING SAUCER, 110 00:07:04,767 --> 00:07:06,733 AND PRETTY SOON EVERYBODY'S SHAKING HANDS WITH LITTLE GREEN MEN. 111 00:07:06,767 --> 00:07:09,300 GOD, WHO WOULD'VE THOUGHT. ALL WE WANTED WAS A BIGGER, HEALTHIER TOMATO. 112 00:07:09,333 --> 00:07:11,567 LOOK OUT! HERE IT COMES AGAIN! 113 00:07:12,800 --> 00:07:15,033 WHERE DID YOU GET THIS ONE, GENERAL? 114 00:07:15,067 --> 00:07:17,267 OH, I WON THAT ONE IN A THREE-LEGGED SACK RACE 115 00:07:17,300 --> 00:07:20,100 - LAST ARMED FORCES DAY PICNIC. - (snoring) 116 00:07:20,133 --> 00:07:22,100 WHAT'S THE MATTER WITH GENERAL NUMBER TWO? 117 00:07:22,133 --> 00:07:24,600 OH, HE WAS OUT ALL NIGHT ON MANEUVERS. LET HIM REST. 118 00:07:24,633 --> 00:07:27,700 OH, I'M SORRY I'M LATE, GENTLEMEN. WOULD YOU FOLLOW ME, PLEASE? 119 00:07:27,733 --> 00:07:30,200 CERTAINLY. 120 00:07:30,233 --> 00:07:33,000 OH, GENERAL, WOULD YOU WAKE UP, PLEASE? 121 00:07:56,067 --> 00:07:58,767 I APOLOGIZE FOR THE SIZE OF THIS ROOM, GENTLEMEN. 122 00:07:58,800 --> 00:08:01,533 IT'S ALL I COULD DO ON SUCH SHORT NOTICE. 123 00:08:18,967 --> 00:08:21,033 NOW, ARE WE ALL HERE? 124 00:08:21,067 --> 00:08:23,067 - WHERE'S JIM RICHARDSON? - THE PRESS SECRETARY? 125 00:08:23,100 --> 00:08:24,633 YES. 126 00:08:24,667 --> 00:08:26,500 PERHAPS WE CAN GIVE HIM A FEW MORE MINUTES. 127 00:08:26,533 --> 00:08:28,500 GENERAL, I'VE BEEN MEANING TO ASK YOU, 128 00:08:28,533 --> 00:08:31,033 HAVE YOU HEARD ANYTHING ABOUT THE NUCLEAR STRIKE FORCE 129 00:08:31,067 --> 00:08:32,800 TACTICAL TRAINING COMMAND MEETING? 130 00:08:32,833 --> 00:08:34,800 - YOU MEAN OPERATION NICHEFICT? - THAT'S RIGHT. 131 00:08:34,833 --> 00:08:37,533 NOT REALLY. I'VE BEEN FOLLOWING THE PERSONNEL PROFICIENCY PLANNING 132 00:08:37,567 --> 00:08:39,667 FOR PAGO-PAGO PARATROOP PLATOON PATROLS. 133 00:08:39,700 --> 00:08:41,933 OH, OPERATION PPPPP. 134 00:08:41,967 --> 00:08:44,633 - WHAT'S THE POOP ON PPPPP? - MOVING WELL. 135 00:08:44,667 --> 00:08:46,467 DID SOMEBODY MENTION MISFITS? 136 00:08:46,500 --> 00:08:48,467 - NO. PPPPP. - AH. 137 00:08:48,500 --> 00:08:50,500 WELL, THEN, NICHEFICT MUST BE PRETTY WELL WRAPPED UP. 138 00:08:50,533 --> 00:08:52,400 (Chattering) 139 00:09:18,600 --> 00:09:21,767 GENTLEMEN, GENTLEMEN, MAY I HAVE YOUR ATTENTION, PLEASE? 140 00:09:21,800 --> 00:09:24,967 NOW THAT WE'RE ALL HERE, I'D LIKE TO TURN THE MEETING OVER TO DR. MORRISON. 141 00:09:25,000 --> 00:09:26,633 - DOCTOR? - THANK YOU, CAPTAIN. 142 00:09:26,667 --> 00:09:28,000 - "MAJOR." - PARDON ME? 143 00:09:28,033 --> 00:09:29,133 NEVER MIND. 144 00:09:32,167 --> 00:09:34,967 WELL, AS I'M SURE YOU'RE WELL AWARE, 145 00:09:35,000 --> 00:09:38,467 THIS TOMATO PROBLEM HAS CAUSED CONSIDERABLE CONCERN 146 00:09:38,500 --> 00:09:40,800 WITHIN THE SCIENTIFIC COMMUNITY. 147 00:09:40,833 --> 00:09:43,900 SCIENTISTS THROUGHOUT THE NATION HAVE DIRECTED THEIR ATTENTION 148 00:09:43,933 --> 00:09:46,167 TO THIS VERY VEXING PROBLEM 149 00:09:46,200 --> 00:09:48,600 WITH ONLY LIMITED SUCCESS. 150 00:09:48,633 --> 00:09:50,433 HOWEVER, 151 00:09:50,467 --> 00:09:52,900 WITH THE HELP OF DR. FUJI NOKITOFA, 152 00:09:52,933 --> 00:09:55,633 WE BELIEVE WE'VE MADE A BREAKTHROUGH. 153 00:09:55,667 --> 00:09:58,067 GENTLEMEN, MAY I PRESENT DR. NOKITOFA. 154 00:09:58,100 --> 00:09:59,500 HOW DO YOU DO, DOCTOR? 155 00:09:59,533 --> 00:10:01,467 VERY WELL, THANK YOU. 156 00:10:01,500 --> 00:10:04,500 DR. NOKITOFA, WOULD YOU PLEASE EXPLAIN 157 00:10:04,533 --> 00:10:07,000 THE PROJECT TO THE GENTLEMEN? 158 00:10:16,833 --> 00:10:19,633 GENTLEMEN, WHAT WE HAVE DEVELOPED IS, IN ESSENCE, 159 00:10:19,667 --> 00:10:22,733 A HALF-MAN, HALF-ROBOT, A VERY SOPHISTICATED 160 00:10:22,767 --> 00:10:26,467 COMBINATION OF HUMAN INTELLIGENCE AND SUPERHUMAN POWERS 161 00:10:26,500 --> 00:10:29,533 WHICH WE ARE CONFIDENT WILL RESULT IN THE ULTIMATE 162 00:10:29,567 --> 00:10:31,667 DESTRUCTION OF THE ENEMY. 163 00:10:33,100 --> 00:10:35,433 THANK YOU, DR. NOKITOFA. 164 00:10:37,467 --> 00:10:39,933 ARE THERE ANY COMMENTS, GENTLEMEN? 165 00:10:39,967 --> 00:10:41,967 MR. BLACK? 166 00:10:42,000 --> 00:10:44,867 AS HEAD OF THE FEDERAL INTELLIGENCE AGENCY, 167 00:10:44,900 --> 00:10:47,367 I CERTAINLY DON'T MEAN TO QUESTION THE BACKGROUND 168 00:10:47,400 --> 00:10:49,567 OF THESE FINE GENTLEMEN, 169 00:10:49,600 --> 00:10:52,333 BUT FRANKLY, I DON'T THINK THE ANSWER TO THIS PROBLEM 170 00:10:52,367 --> 00:10:54,900 LIES IN TRINKETS AND GADGETS. 171 00:10:54,933 --> 00:10:58,467 THIS IS MAN VERSUS VEGETABLE. 172 00:10:58,500 --> 00:11:02,633 TECHNICALLY, SIR, TOMATOES ARE FAGS. 173 00:11:02,667 --> 00:11:04,900 HE MEANS "FRUITS." 174 00:11:04,933 --> 00:11:07,500 AH. FRUITS. 175 00:11:07,533 --> 00:11:09,367 YOU SEE WHAT I MEAN? 176 00:11:09,400 --> 00:11:12,000 MR. DIXON, I'VE BEEN AUTHORIZED TO ASSIGN YOU 177 00:11:12,033 --> 00:11:14,533 FOUR OF MY BEST AGENTS. 178 00:11:14,567 --> 00:11:17,400 GENTLEMEN, WITH YOUR PERMISSION, I'D LIKE TO 179 00:11:17,433 --> 00:11:19,700 INTRODUCE MR. DIXON TO HIS OPERATIVES. 180 00:11:19,733 --> 00:11:21,700 THAT'S FINE, MR. PLATT. IN THE MEANTIME, 181 00:11:21,733 --> 00:11:24,367 THE REST OF US WILL ACCOMPANY THE DOCTORS DOWN TO VIEW A DEMONSTRATION 182 00:11:24,400 --> 00:11:26,400 OF THE LATEST ANTI-TOMATO PROJECT. 183 00:11:26,433 --> 00:11:28,400 WE'LL BE GOING OUTSIDE, MR. DIXON. 184 00:11:28,433 --> 00:11:29,700 YOU'D BETTER BRING YOUR COAT. 185 00:11:29,733 --> 00:11:31,633 THERE'S A LITTLE JAP IN THE AIR. 186 00:11:31,667 --> 00:11:33,500 HE MEANS "NIP." 187 00:11:33,533 --> 00:11:36,400 (music over dialogue) 188 00:11:42,033 --> 00:11:45,067 Man: WASH, WASH, WASH. SCRUB, SCRUB, SCRUB. 189 00:11:45,100 --> 00:11:46,800 CAN YOU GET MY BACK? 190 00:11:53,533 --> 00:11:55,767 - (Explosion) - (screaming) 191 00:11:55,800 --> 00:11:59,000 - OH, MY EYES! OH, MY EYES! - (alarm blaring) 192 00:11:59,033 --> 00:12:01,300 WATER! WATER! 193 00:12:01,333 --> 00:12:03,433 (Electricity crackling) 194 00:12:09,533 --> 00:12:11,933 ACTUALLY, GENTLEMEN, THIS PROJECT ENTAILS 195 00:12:11,967 --> 00:12:14,633 THE DEVELOPMENT OF LIMBS WITH SUPERHUMAN POWERS. 196 00:12:14,667 --> 00:12:18,000 UNFORTUNATELY, 197 00:12:18,033 --> 00:12:20,733 BUDGET LIMITATIONS HAVE RESTRICTED OUR DEVELOPMENT TO ONLY 198 00:12:20,767 --> 00:12:23,700 ONE OF THESE TECHNOLOGICALLY ADVANCED LEGS. 199 00:12:23,733 --> 00:12:26,767 OKAY, BRUCE, NOW LET'S TRY RUNNING FIRST. 200 00:12:29,433 --> 00:12:32,333 UH, THAT'LL BE FINE, BRUCE. 201 00:12:34,367 --> 00:12:36,000 BRUCE, 202 00:12:36,033 --> 00:12:38,300 PLEASE JUMP FOR US. 203 00:12:40,300 --> 00:12:41,833 (Crash) 204 00:12:44,700 --> 00:12:47,233 DESPITE SOME MINOR RECRUITMENT DIFFICULTIES 205 00:12:47,267 --> 00:12:49,333 CAUSED BY OUR RECENT P.R. PROBLEM, 206 00:12:49,367 --> 00:12:51,333 I BELIEVE YOU'LL FIND THAT YOUR UNIT 207 00:12:51,367 --> 00:12:54,500 WILL MEET THE HIGHEST OF STANDARDS. 208 00:12:54,533 --> 00:12:57,300 PYNCHON. 209 00:12:57,333 --> 00:13:00,400 YOUR MEN, DIXON. 210 00:13:00,433 --> 00:13:03,367 SAM SMITH, DISGUISE EXPERT. 211 00:13:03,400 --> 00:13:05,967 GRETTA ATTENBAUM, SWIMMING EXPERT. 212 00:13:06,000 --> 00:13:08,633 GRETTA DEFECTED TO US AFTER THE LAST OLYMPICS. 213 00:13:08,667 --> 00:13:12,333 WE FEEL SHE'S GONNA BE QUITE AN ADDITION TO THE DEPARTMENT. 214 00:13:12,367 --> 00:13:16,400 GREG COLBURN, UNDERWATER EXPERT. 215 00:13:16,433 --> 00:13:19,233 THE FOURTH MEMBER OF YOUR UNIT, LT. FINLETTER, 216 00:13:19,267 --> 00:13:21,633 IS WINDING UP HIS CURRENT MISSION. 217 00:13:21,667 --> 00:13:23,900 HE'LL CONTACT YOU AT THESE COORDINATES. 218 00:13:23,933 --> 00:13:27,367 EXPECT HIM AT "10-100" HOURS. 219 00:13:27,400 --> 00:13:29,300 GOOD LUCK, DIXON. 220 00:13:46,333 --> 00:13:49,700 CAN YOU, LIKE, BELIEVE HOW HE WAFFLES ON EVERY ISSUE? 221 00:13:49,733 --> 00:13:51,600 Woman #2: OH, RIGHT ON. WE'LL NEVER HAVE 222 00:13:51,633 --> 00:13:54,300 ANOTHER PRESIDENT AS BAD AS THIS ONE. 223 00:13:54,333 --> 00:13:56,567 (Women giggle) 224 00:13:59,133 --> 00:14:01,233 (tomatoes gibbering) 225 00:14:10,433 --> 00:14:13,200 - (women screaming) - WHAT IS IT? OVER THERE! 226 00:14:18,167 --> 00:14:20,067 NO! NO! 227 00:14:29,200 --> 00:14:32,733 (Screaming) 228 00:14:36,767 --> 00:14:39,467 (gibbering continues) 229 00:14:39,500 --> 00:14:42,167 MR. DANIELS, I REALIZE THAT IN THE PAST, 230 00:14:42,200 --> 00:14:44,133 THERE HAVE BEEN SOME QUESTIONS RAISED 231 00:14:44,167 --> 00:14:46,267 REGARDING THE PRESIDENT'S USE OF PUBLIC FUNDS 232 00:14:46,300 --> 00:14:49,167 FOR WHAT SOME MAY CONSIDER PERSONAL ITEMS. 233 00:14:49,200 --> 00:14:52,567 HOWEVER, I CAN SAY WITHOUT FEAR OF CONTRADICTION 234 00:14:52,600 --> 00:14:55,700 THAT UNDER NO CIRCUMSTANCES AND AT NO TIME 235 00:14:55,733 --> 00:14:57,767 HAS THE CURRENT ADMINISTRATION EXPENDED 236 00:14:57,800 --> 00:15:00,500 ANY PUBLIC MONIES WHATSOEVER 237 00:15:00,533 --> 00:15:03,800 FOR THE PURCHASE OF THE FLUFFY FLOWER-PRINT TOILET PAPER. 238 00:15:03,833 --> 00:15:06,567 NOW, IF THERE ARE NO FURTHER QUESTIONS... 239 00:15:06,600 --> 00:15:08,167 THANK YOU, MR. PRESS SECRETARY. 240 00:15:08,200 --> 00:15:11,567 MR. SECRETARY! MR. SECRETARY! 241 00:15:11,600 --> 00:15:14,400 JUST A MOMENT, GENTLEMEN. 242 00:15:14,433 --> 00:15:17,800 ONE MORE QUESTION. THE LITTLE FELLOW IN THE REAR. 243 00:15:17,833 --> 00:15:21,833 BOBBY JENKS, SIR, P.S. 149. I HAVE A QUESTION, SIR. 244 00:15:21,867 --> 00:15:25,200 CERTAINLY, YOUNG MAN. WHAT WOULD YOU LIKE TO KNOW? 245 00:15:25,233 --> 00:15:28,167 WE'VE HEARD NOTHING AT ALL ABOUT THE GROWING TOMATO MENACE. 246 00:15:28,200 --> 00:15:30,533 (Reporters clamoring) 247 00:15:30,567 --> 00:15:32,467 I... 248 00:15:35,233 --> 00:15:37,367 UH... 249 00:15:37,400 --> 00:15:40,767 WOULDN'T EXACTLY CALL IT A MENACE, YOUNG MAN. 250 00:15:40,800 --> 00:15:44,533 THERE HAVE BEEN SOME ISOLATED REPORTS 251 00:15:44,567 --> 00:15:48,233 ALLEGED INCIDENTS INVOLVING SOME UNUSUAL ACTIVITY 252 00:15:48,267 --> 00:15:50,667 ASSOCIATED WITH THIS, UH, 253 00:15:50,700 --> 00:15:52,800 PARTICULAR VEGETABLE, 254 00:15:52,833 --> 00:15:55,100 BUT I ASSURE YOU THAT, UH, 255 00:15:55,133 --> 00:15:58,233 THIS IS NOT AND NEVER WILL BECOME A MENACE. 256 00:15:58,267 --> 00:16:01,133 HOWEVER, THE PRESIDENT, LEAVING NO STONE UNTURNED, 257 00:16:01,167 --> 00:16:05,433 HAS CALLED UPON OUR MOST NOTED CONGRESSIONAL LEADERS IN THIS FIELD 258 00:16:05,467 --> 00:16:08,500 TO BEGIN A THOROUGH, INTENSIVE, PAINSTAKING, 259 00:16:08,533 --> 00:16:10,600 AND EXHAUSTIVE INVESTIGATION 260 00:16:10,633 --> 00:16:14,167 INTO THE BACKGROUNDS AND ORIGINS OF THIS 261 00:16:14,200 --> 00:16:16,600 INTERESTING QUIRK OF NATURE. 262 00:16:16,633 --> 00:16:21,133 FURTHERMORE, YOU CAN ASSURE ALL OF YOUR YOUNG READERS THAT 263 00:16:21,167 --> 00:16:24,700 THIS WILL NEVER BECOME A PROBLEM THAT AMERICANS NEED FEAR. 264 00:16:28,633 --> 00:16:32,533 THIS, UH, MEETING OF THE SENATE INVESTIGATING COMMITTEE'S 265 00:16:32,567 --> 00:16:34,500 CALLED TO ORDER. 266 00:16:38,500 --> 00:16:42,067 ANYBODY REMEMBER WHAT WE'RE SUPPOSED TO BE INVESTIGATING? 267 00:16:42,100 --> 00:16:44,567 - THE TOMATOES, WAYNE. - WHAT WAS IT? 268 00:16:44,600 --> 00:16:47,433 WE'RE INVESTIGATING THOSE TOMATOES. 269 00:16:47,467 --> 00:16:51,067 OH, YES, YES. YES, OF COURSE. YES. 270 00:16:51,100 --> 00:16:55,067 WELL, THERE'S ONE FOR YOU, 271 00:16:55,100 --> 00:16:56,700 ONE FOR YOU, 272 00:16:56,733 --> 00:16:59,133 ONE HERE FOR ME, 273 00:16:59,167 --> 00:17:02,000 ONE FOR YOU. 274 00:17:02,033 --> 00:17:04,667 THERE'S SUPPOSED TO BE ONE FOR EVERYBODY. 275 00:17:04,700 --> 00:17:07,000 WONDER WHERE IT COULD BE. 276 00:17:11,467 --> 00:17:14,033 (Phone rings) 277 00:17:14,067 --> 00:17:18,333 Woman: GOOD MORNING, CITY HERALD. MAY I HELP YOU? 278 00:17:18,367 --> 00:17:19,633 ROBERTS! 279 00:17:23,133 --> 00:17:25,400 - SIR? - GET ME GOLDSTEIN. 280 00:17:25,433 --> 00:17:27,633 - HE'S STILL IN BEIRUT, SIR. - BEIRUT? 281 00:17:27,667 --> 00:17:29,233 YES, HE'S FIRED, SIR. 282 00:17:29,267 --> 00:17:31,100 OH. YEAH. GET ME JOHNSON. 283 00:17:31,133 --> 00:17:34,100 SORRY, SIR. HE'S COVERING THAT TRIAL IN TEXAS. 284 00:17:34,133 --> 00:17:36,067 OH, CRIPES! 285 00:17:36,100 --> 00:17:39,200 OKAY, JUST GET ME ANYBODY IN THE SPECIAL ASSIGNMENT DESK. 286 00:17:39,233 --> 00:17:41,267 THEY'RE ALL ON SPECIAL ASSIGNMENT. 287 00:17:41,300 --> 00:17:43,133 GODDAMN IT! WHO THE HELL IS HERE? 288 00:17:43,167 --> 00:17:46,400 WELL, UH, THERE'S YOU, SIR. 289 00:17:46,433 --> 00:17:48,700 THANK YOU, JULIUS. 290 00:17:48,733 --> 00:17:51,100 WAIT A MINUTE. 291 00:17:51,133 --> 00:17:53,433 - THERE'S FAIRCHILD. - WHO THE HELL IS HE? 292 00:17:53,467 --> 00:17:55,300 "SHE." SIR. 293 00:17:55,333 --> 00:17:57,567 LOIS FAIRCHILD, SOCIETY SECTION. 294 00:17:57,600 --> 00:17:59,867 THE NEW KID? 295 00:17:59,900 --> 00:18:01,933 SOCIETY, HUH? 296 00:18:01,967 --> 00:18:03,967 OH, WHAT THE HELL. SEND HER IN. 297 00:18:06,467 --> 00:18:08,433 NOW, DAMN IT! 298 00:18:09,967 --> 00:18:12,300 (Motorcycle engines revving) 299 00:18:20,267 --> 00:18:22,600 (cheering) 300 00:18:31,333 --> 00:18:33,000 (groaning) 301 00:18:33,033 --> 00:18:35,933 Man: HEY, LOOK. IT'S A FUNKY LITTLE TOMATO. 302 00:18:35,967 --> 00:18:39,267 (Chuckles, choking groans) 303 00:18:41,567 --> 00:18:43,467 (screaming) 304 00:18:46,167 --> 00:18:49,267 (siren wailing) 305 00:18:49,300 --> 00:18:51,967 - WHERE ARE WE GOING? - TAKE THE OLD MISSION ROAD. 306 00:18:52,000 --> 00:18:54,900 SOME CRAZY-ASS BIKER HAS GOT HIMSELF MUNCHED ON BY A HERD OF TOMATOES. 307 00:18:54,933 --> 00:18:57,167 - SO WHAT CAN WE DO? - WE CAN KEEP IT QUIET, THAT'S WHAT. 308 00:18:57,200 --> 00:18:59,167 DIDN'T YOU HEAR THE POLICE RADIO? 309 00:18:59,200 --> 00:19:01,567 IT'S SOLID TOMATOES BETWEEN HERE AND HOLTVILLE. WE'RE LIABLE TO GET KILLED! 310 00:19:01,600 --> 00:19:03,567 WILL YOU CAN IT, YOU LITTLE PUD-PULLER? 311 00:19:03,600 --> 00:19:05,567 IF JOHN Q. PUBLIC FINDS OUT WHAT'S REALLY GOING DOWN, 312 00:19:05,600 --> 00:19:07,533 WE'RE BOTH AS GOOD AS DEAD. 313 00:19:09,500 --> 00:19:11,267 FAIRCHILD, SIR. 314 00:19:11,300 --> 00:19:13,900 - HMM? - FAIRCHILD. 315 00:19:13,933 --> 00:19:15,967 YOU SENT FOR ME? 316 00:19:16,000 --> 00:19:18,433 OH. YEAH, YEAH. HAVE A SEAT. 317 00:19:18,467 --> 00:19:21,900 FAIRCHILD, I'VE BEEN KEEPING MY EYE ON YOU. 318 00:19:21,933 --> 00:19:25,533 YOU'VE GOT A GOOD SENSE OF ORGANIZATION. 319 00:19:25,567 --> 00:19:27,067 THANK YOU, SIR. 320 00:19:27,100 --> 00:19:29,133 - FLUID STYLE. - THANK YOU, SIR. 321 00:19:29,167 --> 00:19:31,533 - SHARP MIND. - THANK YOU, SIR. 322 00:19:31,567 --> 00:19:33,367 - A NICE ASS. - THANK... 323 00:19:33,400 --> 00:19:36,000 I'M ABOUT TO GIVE YOU A CHALLENGE, 324 00:19:36,033 --> 00:19:37,833 YOUR FIRST BIG ASSIGNMENT, 325 00:19:37,867 --> 00:19:39,967 AND I EXPECT YOU TO USE 326 00:19:40,000 --> 00:19:42,967 EVERY ATTRIBUTE AT YOUR DISPOSAL. 327 00:19:43,000 --> 00:19:45,433 I'M SURE THAT WHAT YOU LACK IN EXPERIENCE 328 00:19:45,467 --> 00:19:48,533 YOU'LL MORE THAN MAKE UP FOR IN... 329 00:19:48,567 --> 00:19:50,300 DETERMINATION. 330 00:19:50,333 --> 00:19:53,100 NOW, 331 00:19:53,133 --> 00:19:55,133 THIS WILL GIVE YOU THE NECESSARY BACKGROUND 332 00:19:55,167 --> 00:19:57,967 TO HANDLE THE ASSIGNMENT. 333 00:19:58,000 --> 00:19:59,400 GO TO IT. 334 00:19:59,433 --> 00:20:02,233 RIGHT AWAY, SIR. 335 00:20:02,267 --> 00:20:05,800 UH, ONE MORE THING, FAIRCHILD: 336 00:20:05,833 --> 00:20:08,567 I'M CERTAIN THE GOVERNMENT WILL GO TO UNBELIEVABLE LENGTHS 337 00:20:08,600 --> 00:20:11,500 TO ENSURE THE SECRECY OF THIS THING. 338 00:20:11,533 --> 00:20:13,867 GOOD LUCK. 339 00:20:13,900 --> 00:20:16,900 - (Siren wailing) - (tomatoes gibbering) 340 00:20:16,933 --> 00:20:18,833 HELP! HELP! 341 00:20:27,233 --> 00:20:29,133 (Gibbering) 342 00:20:29,167 --> 00:20:31,833 DO YOU READ ME? DO YOU READ ME? 343 00:20:31,867 --> 00:20:33,967 GO AWAY! GO AWAY! 344 00:20:34,000 --> 00:20:35,900 (Exclaiming) 345 00:20:35,933 --> 00:20:38,100 - DO YOU READ ME? DO YOU READ ME? - ARE YOU HAPPY NOW? 346 00:20:38,133 --> 00:20:40,867 YOU KEPT IT SO GODDAMNED SECRET, NOBODY KNOWS WHERE THE HELL WE ARE! 347 00:20:40,900 --> 00:20:43,067 - DO YOU READ? DO YOU READ? - HELP ME! S.O.S.! 348 00:20:43,100 --> 00:20:45,900 GIVE ME THAT, FOR CHRIST SAKE! 349 00:20:45,933 --> 00:20:48,300 YOU CAN'T TELL ME TO SHUT UP! I QUIT! 350 00:20:48,333 --> 00:20:50,167 WHAT? YOU CAN'T QUIT! THE DEPARTMENT... 351 00:20:50,200 --> 00:20:52,033 SCREW THE DEPARTMENT! I'M GONNA DIE! 352 00:20:52,067 --> 00:20:54,400 YOU CONCEITED LITTLE S.O.B., I'M GONNA DIE TOO! 353 00:20:54,433 --> 00:20:58,767 - GOOD! GOOD! GOOD, GOOD, GOOD... - (clattering) 354 00:20:58,800 --> 00:21:02,333 NOT GOOD, MR. PRESIDENT. NOT GOOD AT ALL. 355 00:21:02,367 --> 00:21:04,333 FRANKLY, I WAS NOT OVERLY IMPRESSED 356 00:21:04,367 --> 00:21:07,867 WITH THE LEVEL OF COMPETENCY DISPLAYED BY THE SCIENTIFIC TEAM. 357 00:21:07,900 --> 00:21:10,400 I HAVEN'T SEEN DIXON'S SPECIAL FORCES UNIT YET, 358 00:21:10,433 --> 00:21:13,900 BUT IF IT'S ANYTHING LIKE WHAT I'VE SEEN SO FAR, 359 00:21:13,933 --> 00:21:16,167 I'D SAY WE'RE IN FOR A BIT OF TROUBLE. 360 00:21:16,200 --> 00:21:18,867 Man: I KNOW WHAT YOU MEAN, JIM. I KNOW WHAT YOU MEAN. 361 00:21:18,900 --> 00:21:21,467 IT'S LIKE TRYING TO STACK BIBLES 362 00:21:21,500 --> 00:21:23,367 ON WHIPPED CREAM. 363 00:21:23,400 --> 00:21:25,767 - YES, SIR. - JIM, AN UNUSUAL PROBLEM 364 00:21:25,800 --> 00:21:27,833 CALLS FOR AN INGENIOUS SOLUTION. 365 00:21:27,867 --> 00:21:29,467 I THINK I'VE GOT ONE. 366 00:21:29,500 --> 00:21:31,733 JIM, HAVE YOU EVER HEARD OF MINDMAKER? 367 00:21:31,767 --> 00:21:34,867 CERTAINLY, SIR. THE ADVERTISING AGENCY YOU USED IN YOUR CAMPAIGN. 368 00:21:34,900 --> 00:21:36,367 THAT'S RIGHT. 369 00:21:36,400 --> 00:21:39,200 YOU KNOW, THEY SAID I'D NEVER GET REELECTED, 370 00:21:39,233 --> 00:21:41,867 ESPECIALLY AFTER IT GOT OUT THAT I USED THE STATUE OF LIBERTY 371 00:21:41,900 --> 00:21:44,000 AS COLLATERAL ON THAT ARAB LOAN. 372 00:21:44,033 --> 00:21:46,400 - YES, SIR. - BUT... 373 00:21:46,433 --> 00:21:50,033 I'M SITTING HERE NOW, AND I OWE IT ALL TO MINDMAKER. 374 00:21:51,867 --> 00:21:54,833 INCIDENTALLY, JIM, YOU WERE IN THE MIDEAST LAST SUMMER. 375 00:21:54,867 --> 00:21:58,433 TELL ME, HOW DOES THE OLD GIRL LOOK IN THE DEAD SEA? 376 00:21:58,467 --> 00:22:01,167 - JUST GRAND, SIR. - GOOD. 377 00:22:01,200 --> 00:22:03,433 I TELL YOU, JIM, IF THOSE FELLOWS COULD ELECT ME, 378 00:22:03,467 --> 00:22:06,000 - THEY CAN DO ANYTHING. - YES, SIR. 379 00:22:06,033 --> 00:22:08,700 JIM, I WANT YOU TO FLY TO NEW YORK IMMEDIATELY. 380 00:22:08,733 --> 00:22:10,733 I WANT YOU TO SEE TED SWANN. 381 00:22:10,767 --> 00:22:13,367 BELIEVE ME, THE MAN'S A GENIUS. 382 00:22:13,400 --> 00:22:14,733 I'M ON MY WAY, SIR. 383 00:22:23,233 --> 00:22:25,667 THAT'S THE WHOLE STORY. 384 00:22:25,700 --> 00:22:28,233 SAY, WOULD YOU WANT TO BUY A USED CRIB? 385 00:22:28,267 --> 00:22:32,200 I DON'T THINK SO, BUT I APPRECIATE THIS INFORMATION. 386 00:22:32,233 --> 00:22:34,667 THIS COULD BE ESPECIALLY HELPFUL IN... 387 00:22:41,667 --> 00:22:43,967 FAIRCHILD, FROM THE TIMES. 388 00:22:44,000 --> 00:22:46,367 WHAT'S THIS DEAL ABOUT TOMATOES? 389 00:22:46,400 --> 00:22:49,733 - LOOK, BUDDY, DON'T TRY AND STONEWALL ME. - Man: HI THERE, LOIS. 390 00:22:49,767 --> 00:22:52,133 OH. HI, CLARK. 391 00:22:54,833 --> 00:22:56,733 - WHAT ARE YOU DOING HERE? - UH, NO COMMENT. 392 00:22:56,767 --> 00:22:58,733 - AND WHO'S HE? - NO COMMENT. 393 00:22:58,767 --> 00:23:01,633 - HOW SERIOUS IS THIS SITUATION? - NO COMMENT. 394 00:23:01,667 --> 00:23:04,933 - THE AMERICAN PUBLIC HAS A RIGHT TO KNOW. - Man: UP, UP, AND AWAY! 395 00:23:04,967 --> 00:23:06,800 YOU CAN'T IGNORE THE PRESS. 396 00:23:06,833 --> 00:23:09,233 DIXON! 397 00:23:09,267 --> 00:23:11,533 DIXON! 398 00:23:12,800 --> 00:23:15,100 DIXON! 399 00:23:15,133 --> 00:23:17,133 DIXON! 400 00:23:17,167 --> 00:23:20,167 Man (on radio): HEY, GUYS, HERE'S THE SONG EVERYBODY'S BEEN ASKING FOR: 401 00:23:20,200 --> 00:23:23,100 RONNY DESMOND'S "PUBERTY LOVE." 402 00:23:23,133 --> 00:23:25,900 Man (high voice): * PUBERTY, PUBERTY LOVE 403 00:23:25,933 --> 00:23:28,167 Man: OH, WOW, WHAT IS THAT? 404 00:23:28,200 --> 00:23:30,367 OH, NO! DON'T TELL ME THAT'S THE SONG. 405 00:23:30,400 --> 00:23:32,267 PLEASE, OH! TURN IT OFF! 406 00:23:32,300 --> 00:23:35,033 OH, IT'S TORTURE ON THE EARS! I CAN'T STAND THAT NOISE! 407 00:23:35,067 --> 00:23:37,767 (All chattering) 408 00:23:37,800 --> 00:23:39,800 (radio switching stations) 409 00:23:41,600 --> 00:23:43,633 (man on radio reading news) 410 00:23:43,667 --> 00:23:45,633 Man: QUIET! I WANT TO HEAR THE NEWS. 411 00:23:45,667 --> 00:23:47,633 Man (on radio): AND TODAY, THE PRESIDENT CLOSED THE NATION'S 412 00:23:47,667 --> 00:23:50,700 LAST REMAINING SUB BASE AT GROTON, CONNECTICUT. 413 00:23:50,733 --> 00:23:53,667 WHEN ASKED WHY HE HAD MADE THE STARTLING DECISION, 414 00:23:53,700 --> 00:23:56,633 THE PRESIDENT RESPONDED, "THOSE FUNNY LITTLE BLACK SHIPS 415 00:23:56,667 --> 00:23:59,700 JUST KEEP SINKING ANYWAY." 416 00:23:59,733 --> 00:24:02,700 AND IN OTHER NEWS TODAY, IN NEWARK, NEW JERSEY, 417 00:24:02,733 --> 00:24:06,900 A MAN WAS EATEN BY A BACON, LETTUCE AND TOMATO SANDWICH. 418 00:24:46,667 --> 00:24:48,733 YOU'RE FREE! 419 00:25:21,033 --> 00:25:22,967 (Airplane passes overhead) 420 00:25:23,000 --> 00:25:26,967 Man: GERONIMO! 421 00:25:27,000 --> 00:25:28,900 (Crashing thud) 422 00:25:54,633 --> 00:25:56,800 HMM. 423 00:25:56,833 --> 00:25:59,100 SO YOU'RE FINLETTER, HUH? 424 00:25:59,133 --> 00:26:01,533 I'M MASON DIXON, AND THIS IS... 425 00:26:01,567 --> 00:26:05,000 MY GOD! IT'S ADOLF HITLER! 426 00:26:05,033 --> 00:26:07,433 (Shouting) 427 00:26:22,933 --> 00:26:25,533 THIS IS SAM SMITH. 428 00:26:27,000 --> 00:26:31,000 HE'S OUR UNDERCOVER EXPERT. 429 00:26:31,033 --> 00:26:34,167 HE'S ONLY DISGUISED AS ADOLF HITLER. 430 00:26:34,200 --> 00:26:37,167 GUTEN MORGEN, HERR HITLER. 431 00:26:37,200 --> 00:26:40,000 - AUTOBAHN. - SPRECHEN ZE DEUTCHE? 432 00:26:40,033 --> 00:26:41,933 WEINER SCHNITZEL. 433 00:26:45,433 --> 00:26:47,433 GET IN THE BACKSEAT! 434 00:26:47,467 --> 00:26:50,567 WHAT ABOUT ME, MR. DIXON? WHAT ABOUT ME? 435 00:26:50,600 --> 00:26:52,467 YOU... 436 00:26:53,733 --> 00:26:55,400 YOU... 437 00:26:57,633 --> 00:26:59,700 YOU GO DISGUISE YOURSELF 438 00:26:59,733 --> 00:27:02,733 AS A TOMATO 439 00:27:02,767 --> 00:27:05,067 AND INFILTRATE THEIR CAMP. 440 00:27:39,600 --> 00:27:41,333 YES. THANK YOU. 441 00:27:43,533 --> 00:27:45,667 - HI. - MR. RICHARDSON TO SEE MR. SWANN. 442 00:27:45,700 --> 00:27:47,667 YES, SIR. HE'S EXPECTING YOU. 443 00:27:47,700 --> 00:27:50,000 I'LL LET HIM KNOW YOU'RE HERE. PLEASE HAVE A SEAT. 444 00:27:52,133 --> 00:27:53,967 MR. SWANN? 445 00:27:54,000 --> 00:27:55,933 MR. RICHARDSON IS HERE TO SEE YOU. 446 00:27:58,133 --> 00:27:59,933 HE'LL BE RIGHT WITH YOU. 447 00:28:02,400 --> 00:28:05,467 JIMBO, BUDDY! HOW ARE YA? HOW YOU DOIN'? 448 00:28:05,500 --> 00:28:07,467 - FINE. I, UH... - SUPER, SUPER. 449 00:28:07,500 --> 00:28:10,400 HEY, THE PRESIDENT TELLS ME YOU HAVE A SITUATION, JIMBO. 450 00:28:10,433 --> 00:28:13,300 WELL, LET ME CLUE YOU: YOU BOYS HAVE COME TO THE RIGHT PLACE. 451 00:28:13,333 --> 00:28:17,233 LET ME GIVE YOU A PEEK AT MINDMAKER IN ACTION. 452 00:28:19,067 --> 00:28:22,633 FIRST, WE HAVE TO CONVINCE THE LITTLE HOUSEWIFE OUT THERE 453 00:28:22,667 --> 00:28:25,067 THAT THE TOMATO WHICH ATE THE FAMILY PET 454 00:28:25,100 --> 00:28:27,733 IS NOT DANGEROUS, NO PROBLEM. 455 00:28:27,767 --> 00:28:30,767 THEN WE HAVE TO CONVINCE LOCAL AUTHORITIES 456 00:28:30,800 --> 00:28:33,633 THAT THE THOUSANDS MISSING FROM RURAL COMMUNITIES 457 00:28:33,667 --> 00:28:35,833 WERE MERELY STRANDED DURING THEIR 458 00:28:35,867 --> 00:28:38,400 BICENTENNIAL PILGRIMAGE TO PHILADELPHIA. 459 00:28:38,433 --> 00:28:39,967 NO PROBLEM. 460 00:28:40,000 --> 00:28:44,333 THIRD, THE PRESIDENT WANTS US TO DO THIS IN SUCH A WAY 461 00:28:44,367 --> 00:28:47,367 THAT IT CAN BE COVERED UP, AND NO ONE WILL KNOW IT EVER HAPPENED. 462 00:28:47,400 --> 00:28:51,433 THAT'S NO PROBLEM. BUT THEN HE WANTS US TO DO THIS 463 00:28:51,467 --> 00:28:54,633 AND CONVINCE 200 MILLION AMERICANS 464 00:28:54,667 --> 00:28:58,500 THAT THIS DISASTER IS ACTUALLY A BLESSING. 465 00:28:58,533 --> 00:29:01,300 NOW, THAT'S A CHALLENGE. 466 00:29:01,333 --> 00:29:03,400 I UNDERSTAND WHAT YOU'RE SAYING, MR. SWANN. 467 00:29:03,433 --> 00:29:05,867 THE PRESIDENT IS A VERY DEMANDING PERSON. 468 00:29:05,900 --> 00:29:08,967 SOMETIMES HE EXPECTS THE IMPOSSIBLE. BUT I DON'T... 469 00:29:09,000 --> 00:29:11,333 I NEVER SAID "IMPOSSIBLE," RICHARDSON. 470 00:29:11,367 --> 00:29:15,500 WHAT I SAID WAS THAT IT WAS A CHALLENGE. 471 00:29:15,533 --> 00:29:19,400 MAN WAS PUT ON THIS EARTH TO MEET CHALLENGES, MY BOY. 472 00:29:19,433 --> 00:29:21,333 YOU REALLY THINK YOU CAN DO IT? 473 00:29:21,367 --> 00:29:24,233 CAN I DO IT? CAN I DO IT? 474 00:29:24,267 --> 00:29:26,500 (Maniacal laughter) 475 00:29:28,933 --> 00:29:32,267 * SOME SELL, SOME BUY, AND ONLY WE KNOW WHY * 476 00:29:32,300 --> 00:29:36,500 * THE WRAP IS MORE IMPORTANT THAN THE PRIZE * 477 00:29:36,533 --> 00:29:39,567 * IMPORTANT DECISIONS ARE MADE EACH DAY * 478 00:29:39,600 --> 00:29:42,500 * MUCH TOO IMPORTANT FOR THE PLAIN FOLK TO MAKE * 479 00:29:42,533 --> 00:29:44,200 * THEY'RE ALWAYS IN A BIND * 480 00:29:44,233 --> 00:29:46,800 * DEPEND ON US TO HELP MAKE UP THEIR MIND * 481 00:29:48,267 --> 00:29:51,433 * RED BOX, BLUE BOX, A RED BOX AND A BLUE BOX * 482 00:29:51,467 --> 00:29:54,267 * BRIGHT COLORS AND A COUPON ON THE SIDE * 483 00:29:55,967 --> 00:29:58,700 * HARD SELL OR SOFT SELL, IT'S ALL THE SAME * 484 00:29:58,733 --> 00:30:01,633 * MILLIONS OF DOLLAR BILLS ARE SPENT EVERY DAY * 485 00:30:01,667 --> 00:30:03,467 * WHERE DO THEY ALL GO? 486 00:30:03,500 --> 00:30:05,833 * MINDMAKER'S HERE TO RUN THE SHOW * 487 00:30:10,333 --> 00:30:12,267 * WE SELL CARS AND TOYS FOR GIRLS AND BOYS * 488 00:30:12,300 --> 00:30:13,700 * AND CHAIRS AND BEDS AND SHRUNKEN HEADS * 489 00:30:13,733 --> 00:30:16,467 * SUGAR BEETS AND BASEBALL CLEATS AND ICE TO ESKIMOS * 490 00:30:16,500 --> 00:30:18,200 * LEEKS AND MINK AND BOATS THAT SINK * 491 00:30:18,233 --> 00:30:21,833 * NO MATTER WHAT, WE'LL GET IT SOLD * 492 00:30:21,867 --> 00:30:25,167 * WE'LL USE CATCHY JINGLES, SNAPPY TUNES AND PRETTY GIRLS WITH BIG BALLOONS * 493 00:30:25,200 --> 00:30:28,200 * A LITTLE LIE, A STRETCH OF TRUTH CAN TURN THE PUBLIC'S HEAD * 494 00:30:28,233 --> 00:30:30,767 * THERE'S TV TYPES AND AD EXECS AND EVERYONE'S THE BEST * 495 00:30:30,800 --> 00:30:34,233 * AND YET 496 00:30:34,267 --> 00:30:36,933 * THEY ALL LOOK UP 497 00:30:36,967 --> 00:30:40,200 * TO A SINGLE MAN 498 00:30:40,233 --> 00:30:43,633 * AND THAT ONE SINGLE MAN * 499 00:30:43,667 --> 00:30:45,833 * IS... ME! 500 00:30:45,867 --> 00:30:48,733 (Maniacal laughter) 501 00:30:50,767 --> 00:30:53,600 * THEY SELL, THEY BUY, AND ONLY I KNOW WHY * 502 00:30:53,633 --> 00:30:56,367 * THE HUMAN MIND IS PUTTY IN MY HANDS * 503 00:30:58,100 --> 00:31:01,133 * IMPORTANT DECISIONS ARE MADE EACH DAY * 504 00:31:01,167 --> 00:31:03,900 * MUCH MORE IMPORTANT FOR THE PLAIN FOLK TO MAKE * 505 00:31:03,933 --> 00:31:05,433 * THEY'RE ALWAYS IN A BIND * 506 00:31:05,467 --> 00:31:09,567 * DEPEND ON ME TO HELP MAKE UP THEIR MIND * 507 00:31:09,600 --> 00:31:11,767 * DECISION-WISE 508 00:31:11,800 --> 00:31:15,200 * POLICY-WISE, DEMOGRAPHICALLY SPEAKING * 509 00:31:15,233 --> 00:31:18,167 * MINDMAKER! 510 00:31:18,200 --> 00:31:21,833 WELL, LET'S GO MEET THAT CHALLENGE, YOUNG MAN. 511 00:31:21,867 --> 00:31:24,100 I'VE ALREADY PUT MY STAFF TO WORK, 512 00:31:24,133 --> 00:31:26,100 SO IF YOU'D BE GOOD ENOUGH TO STOP BY IN THE MORNING, 513 00:31:26,133 --> 00:31:29,100 WE CAN TAKE A LOOK-SEE AT SOME OF THE PRELIMINARY SKETCHES. 514 00:31:31,133 --> 00:31:33,100 ROLL IT. 515 00:31:33,133 --> 00:31:35,133 Man (on recording): THEN I CAN TELL THE PRESIDENT YOU'LL ACCEPT THE ASSIGNMENT. 516 00:31:35,167 --> 00:31:38,533 (Chuckling) YOU BET YOUR BOOTIES. 517 00:31:38,567 --> 00:31:41,467 TRAFFIC COPS ALL OVER THE COUNTRY MEET THIS CHALLENGE 518 00:31:41,500 --> 00:31:43,533 DAY TO DAY. 519 00:31:43,567 --> 00:31:46,867 THIS MAN IS LIKE ANY OTHER POLICEMAN ANYWHERE IN THE COUNTRY. 520 00:31:46,900 --> 00:31:50,167 HE WORKS HARD AND TAKES PRIDE IN SERVING PEOPLE. 521 00:31:50,200 --> 00:31:52,600 YES, HE'S A POLICEMAN JUST LIKE ANY OTHER, 522 00:31:52,633 --> 00:31:55,400 EXCEPT FOR ONE THING: HE IS BLIND. 523 00:31:55,433 --> 00:31:57,633 (Crashing, tires screeching) 524 00:32:00,167 --> 00:32:02,200 Woman: THIS HAS BEEN A PUBLIC SERVICE ANNOUNCEMENT 525 00:32:02,233 --> 00:32:04,833 PRODUCED FOR THE NATIONAL HEALTH FOUNDATION. 526 00:32:04,867 --> 00:32:07,133 (Horns honking) 527 00:32:10,267 --> 00:32:12,300 (hammer pounding) 528 00:32:16,067 --> 00:32:19,233 SIR, I REALLY DON'T THINK THIS IS A GOOD PLACE TO CAMP. 529 00:32:19,267 --> 00:32:21,500 WE'RE NOT SLEEPING ON THE SIDEWALK. 530 00:32:21,533 --> 00:32:24,067 DO YOU SEE THAT BIG BUILDING OVER THERE? 531 00:32:24,100 --> 00:32:26,100 IT'S CALLED A HOTEL. 532 00:32:26,133 --> 00:32:28,533 YOU AND I ARE GOING TO SLEEP IN THE HOTEL. 533 00:32:28,567 --> 00:32:30,100 NO CAMPFIRE, SIR? 534 00:32:30,133 --> 00:32:32,200 NO CAMPFIRE. 535 00:32:32,233 --> 00:32:34,633 WELL, THEN, WHAT AM I SUPPOSED TO DO WITH THESE MARSHMALLOWS? 536 00:32:59,767 --> 00:33:03,200 HERE'S THE KEY TO MY ROOM. I'M GONNA CHECK FOR MESSAGES. BE UP IN A MINUTE. 537 00:33:03,233 --> 00:33:04,967 YES, SIR. 538 00:33:15,367 --> 00:33:17,433 PARDON ME. DO YOU HAVE ANY MESSAGES 539 00:33:17,467 --> 00:33:20,233 FOR MASON DIXON IN ROOM 401? 540 00:33:56,167 --> 00:33:58,033 EXCUSE ME. 541 00:33:58,067 --> 00:33:59,633 MAY I HAVE THE KEY TO ROOM 401? 542 00:33:59,667 --> 00:34:02,300 I... I SEEM TO HAVE MISPLACED MINE. 543 00:34:06,600 --> 00:34:08,733 THANK YOU. 544 00:34:08,767 --> 00:34:11,000 Man (on TV): PRAY-TEL RECORDS PRESENTS 545 00:34:11,033 --> 00:34:12,700 21 GREAT DEAD BEATS. 546 00:34:12,733 --> 00:34:15,033 YOU GET THE BEST OF JIMI HENDRIX, JANIS JOPLIN, 547 00:34:15,067 --> 00:34:17,033 OTIS REDDING, BUDDY HOLLY, JIM CROCE... 548 00:34:17,067 --> 00:34:20,967 (switching channels) 549 00:34:21,000 --> 00:34:24,167 Man: IT'S THE EVENING NEWS WITH CHARLES COLLINGSMITH... 550 00:34:24,200 --> 00:34:26,400 TURN THAT THING OFF, WILL YA? 551 00:34:26,433 --> 00:34:28,400 LET'S GET SOME SLEEP. 552 00:34:28,433 --> 00:34:30,300 MARSHMALLOW? 553 00:34:54,933 --> 00:34:56,833 (Snoring) 554 00:35:17,600 --> 00:35:20,367 OH. I'M... I'M TERRIBLY SORRY. 555 00:35:20,400 --> 00:35:23,133 I-I MEAN, I THOUGHT THIS WAS MY... 556 00:35:23,167 --> 00:35:24,900 REALLY. YOU KNOW. 557 00:35:24,933 --> 00:35:26,867 Dixon: WHAT WAS THAT? 558 00:35:26,900 --> 00:35:29,967 - A STRUMPET, SIR. - A WHAT? 559 00:35:30,000 --> 00:35:33,400 A HARLOT. A TROLLOP. A LADY OF THE EVENING. 560 00:35:33,433 --> 00:35:35,933 GO TO SLEEP, FINLETTER! 561 00:35:50,333 --> 00:35:52,033 (Ringing) 562 00:36:02,033 --> 00:36:04,233 HMM? 563 00:36:04,267 --> 00:36:07,067 WH-WHAT? 564 00:36:07,100 --> 00:36:09,200 WHERE? 565 00:36:09,233 --> 00:36:11,133 I'LL BE RIGHT THERE. 566 00:36:16,000 --> 00:36:18,400 - BREAKFAST, SIR. - NO TIME! 567 00:36:18,433 --> 00:36:21,433 - BUT... YOUR VITAMINS. - NO TIME! 568 00:36:21,467 --> 00:36:23,567 NOW, LISTEN. THIS IS IMPORTANT. 569 00:36:23,600 --> 00:36:27,200 YOU'VE GOT TO GO DOWN AND WARN GRETTA THAT THERE'S TOMATO ACTIVITY IN SECTOR 2. 570 00:36:27,233 --> 00:36:29,867 YOU GOT THAT? NO MATTER WHAT HAPPENS, YOU TELL HER. 571 00:36:29,900 --> 00:36:31,533 - YES, SIR. - Man (on radio): WE INTERRUPT THIS PROGRAM 572 00:36:31,567 --> 00:36:33,433 TO BRING YOU A SPECIAL BULLETIN. 573 00:36:33,467 --> 00:36:36,367 THE FOLLOWING IS AN NBS HOTLINE BULLETIN 574 00:36:36,400 --> 00:36:38,933 WITH DOUGLAS KEIKLER IN NEW YORK. 575 00:36:38,967 --> 00:36:41,467 NBS... THE NETWORK THAT BRINGS YOU 576 00:36:41,500 --> 00:36:43,400 THE NEWS AS IT HAPPENS, 577 00:36:43,433 --> 00:36:46,933 BRINGS YOU THESE BULLETINS IN TIMES OF EMERGENCY, 578 00:36:46,967 --> 00:36:50,533 THE NEWS YOU NEED TO KNOW WHEN YOU NEED TO KNOW IT, ON NBS, 579 00:36:50,567 --> 00:36:53,367 THE NETWORK OF THE NEWS. 580 00:36:53,400 --> 00:36:56,033 THIS NBS NEWS HOTLINE BULLETIN 581 00:36:56,067 --> 00:36:58,733 IS BROUGHT TO YOU BY SCHRITZ BEER. 582 00:36:58,767 --> 00:37:01,900 YOU'RE NEVER TOO DRUNK TO ASK FOR SCHRITZ. 583 00:37:01,933 --> 00:37:04,767 AND BY BRIGHT GUMS, THE TOOTHPASTE 584 00:37:04,800 --> 00:37:07,800 FOR PEOPLE WITHOUT TEETH OR DENTURES. 585 00:37:07,833 --> 00:37:09,267 AND BY... 586 00:37:13,000 --> 00:37:15,133 (chattering) 587 00:37:30,167 --> 00:37:32,067 (rustling) 588 00:37:34,100 --> 00:37:36,333 WHAT IS IT, SPOT? WHAT'S IN THERE? 589 00:37:36,367 --> 00:37:38,367 Spot: GOSH, BILLY, I DON'T KNOW. 590 00:37:38,400 --> 00:37:40,367 YOU STAY THERE. I'LL GO LOOK. 591 00:37:40,400 --> 00:37:42,767 - SPOT? SPOT? - (rustling) 592 00:37:49,800 --> 00:37:51,700 (tomatoes gibbering) 593 00:38:04,733 --> 00:38:08,467 - WHAT ARE THOSE RED CIRCLES, SIR? - MACHINE GUN EMPLACEMENTS. 594 00:38:08,500 --> 00:38:10,467 WE'VE GOT THE WHOLE VALLEY SURROUNDED WITH THEM. 595 00:38:10,500 --> 00:38:12,367 I DON'T THINK WE CAN HOLD THEM VERY LONG, THOUGH. 596 00:38:12,400 --> 00:38:15,967 AND THAT GREEN LINE, THAT'S THEIR FURTHEST POINT OF ADVANCE? 597 00:38:16,000 --> 00:38:18,767 - THAT'S RIGHT. - UH-HUH. WHAT ARE THE BLUE DOTS? 598 00:38:18,800 --> 00:38:20,900 THOSE ARE MOBIL STATIONS. 599 00:38:20,933 --> 00:38:23,467 - OH. - (vehicle approaching) 600 00:38:23,500 --> 00:38:25,300 THAT MUST BE MAJOR MILLS. 601 00:38:25,333 --> 00:38:27,033 - TAKE OVER. - YES, SIR! 602 00:38:31,900 --> 00:38:33,967 I'M GLAD YOU COULD MAKE IT, SIR. 603 00:38:34,000 --> 00:38:36,833 - I THINK WE'VE GOT SOMETHING THAT WILL INTEREST YOU. - SO I'VE BEEN TOLD. 604 00:38:36,867 --> 00:38:38,667 DIXON, I WANT YOU TO SEE THIS. 605 00:38:38,700 --> 00:38:40,267 CAPTAIN? 606 00:38:40,300 --> 00:38:41,733 YES, SIR. 607 00:38:49,767 --> 00:38:51,700 (Gibbering) 608 00:38:54,933 --> 00:38:57,067 SIR, 609 00:38:57,100 --> 00:38:59,600 WE'VE CAPTURED A GIANT TOMATO. 610 00:39:07,300 --> 00:39:09,200 (Gibbering continues) 611 00:39:13,667 --> 00:39:16,933 I'M AFRAID, GENTLEMEN, THAT WHAT WE HAVE HERE BEFORE US 612 00:39:16,967 --> 00:39:19,767 ISN'T WHAT WE THOUGHT. 613 00:39:19,800 --> 00:39:20,933 YOU DON'T MEAN... 614 00:39:20,967 --> 00:39:23,267 THIS, 615 00:39:23,300 --> 00:39:26,900 MAY GOD HELP US, 616 00:39:26,933 --> 00:39:29,000 IS A CHERRY TOMATO. 617 00:39:32,067 --> 00:39:34,800 - (Screaming) - (roaring) 618 00:40:00,033 --> 00:40:02,900 (rustling) 619 00:40:02,933 --> 00:40:05,167 (gibbering, slurping) 620 00:40:27,233 --> 00:40:29,567 (screams) 621 00:41:05,967 --> 00:41:08,233 MR. DIXON HAS ORDERED ME TO INFORM YOU 622 00:41:08,267 --> 00:41:10,633 THAT THERE'S TOMATO ACTIVITY IN YOUR SECTOR. 623 00:41:34,567 --> 00:41:38,067 ALL RIGHT, WHO WANTS TO BE PAPER MONITOR? 624 00:41:42,633 --> 00:41:45,700 I'M TELLING YOU, J.B., IT'S A GREAT IDEA. 625 00:41:45,733 --> 00:41:48,833 THE FIRST ADULT BREAKFAST CEREAL: 626 00:41:48,867 --> 00:41:50,933 KINKY CRISPIES. 627 00:41:50,967 --> 00:41:53,267 COMES IN THREE DELICIOUS FLAVORS... 628 00:41:53,300 --> 00:41:56,067 GOOD AFTERNOON, MR. SWANN. 629 00:41:56,100 --> 00:41:59,467 I'LL CALL YOU BACK, J.B. BYE. 630 00:41:59,500 --> 00:42:01,800 JIMBO! HOW'S IT GOING? 631 00:42:01,833 --> 00:42:03,967 I BELIEVE THAT'S MY QUESTION. 632 00:42:04,000 --> 00:42:07,467 RIGHT. FUN-NY! (chuckles) 633 00:42:07,500 --> 00:42:10,233 WELL, LET ME TELL YOU, WE'VE BEEN GOING GREAT BANANAS. 634 00:42:10,267 --> 00:42:13,067 SIT DOWN, MAKE YOURSELF COMFORTABLE. 635 00:42:13,100 --> 00:42:15,967 I ASKED MYSELF, "WHAT DO WE NEED? 636 00:42:16,000 --> 00:42:17,767 "SOMETHING ORIGINAL, 637 00:42:17,800 --> 00:42:20,900 SOMETHING THAT STRIKES AT THE VERY HEART OF THE MATTER." 638 00:42:20,933 --> 00:42:23,733 AND HERE IT IS! 639 00:42:23,767 --> 00:42:26,533 MINDMAKER AT ITS BEST! 640 00:42:26,567 --> 00:42:28,567 WHO CAN ARGUE WITH THAT? 641 00:42:34,500 --> 00:42:36,900 AND THERE'S MORE. LISTEN TO THIS. 642 00:42:41,067 --> 00:42:44,500 Man (on recording): GIANT TOMATOES MEAN BIGGER PIZZAS! 643 00:42:44,533 --> 00:42:48,067 - Man #2: ROLLING ON 2. - * IF YOU'RE FEELING SAD AND BLUE * 644 00:42:48,100 --> 00:42:51,033 * TOMATOES END IT ALL FOR YOU * 645 00:42:51,067 --> 00:42:53,533 LAST YEAR, MORE PEOPLE WERE KILLED 646 00:42:53,567 --> 00:42:56,833 BY AUTOMOBILE ACCIDENTS, HEART ATTACKS, 647 00:42:56,867 --> 00:43:00,133 LUNG CANCER, AND NATURAL CAUSES COMBINED 648 00:43:00,167 --> 00:43:02,567 THAN BY ANY ONE TOMATO. 649 00:43:02,600 --> 00:43:03,867 PRETTY CLASSY, HUH? 650 00:43:03,900 --> 00:43:05,433 WITH A CAPITAL "K." 651 00:43:05,467 --> 00:43:07,467 RIGHT. AND MR. SECRETARY, 652 00:43:07,500 --> 00:43:09,700 BEING A PUBLIC RELATIONS MAN YOURSELF, 653 00:43:09,733 --> 00:43:12,633 YOU UNDERSTAND THE VALUE OF SYMBOLS. 654 00:43:12,667 --> 00:43:15,933 WELL, WE HAVE SPENT A GREAT DEAL OF TIME AND EFFORT 655 00:43:15,967 --> 00:43:20,533 AND OVER A MILLION DOLLARS TO CREATE A SYMBOL WHICH WILL WAGE THIS BATTLE, 656 00:43:20,567 --> 00:43:22,833 AN EFFORT THAT WILL BECOME KNOWN AS 657 00:43:22,867 --> 00:43:25,833 THE "STOP TOMATO PROGRAM." 658 00:43:25,867 --> 00:43:28,067 I SEE. 659 00:43:28,100 --> 00:43:31,167 IT ALL LOOKS QUITE... EXTRAORDINARY. 660 00:43:31,200 --> 00:43:33,767 - THANK YOU. - NOW IF YOU'LL EXCUSE ME, 661 00:43:33,800 --> 00:43:36,000 - I THINK I'LL BE ON MY WAY. - JUST A MOMENT. 662 00:43:36,033 --> 00:43:38,400 ONE MORE THING BEFORE YOU LEAVE, MR. SECRETARY. 663 00:43:38,433 --> 00:43:40,400 I'D REALLY LIKE YOU TO SEE THIS. 664 00:43:40,433 --> 00:43:43,100 IT'S SOMETHING I'VE WORKED ON FOR MANY YEARS, 665 00:43:43,133 --> 00:43:46,767 THE CULMINATION OF YEARS OF EFFORT: 666 00:43:46,800 --> 00:43:50,400 THE WORLD'S ULTIMATE COMMERCIAL. 667 00:43:50,433 --> 00:43:52,033 ROLL IT. 668 00:43:52,067 --> 00:43:55,500 (Dramatic music plays) 669 00:43:55,533 --> 00:43:57,567 Man (deep voice): HI. 670 00:43:57,600 --> 00:43:59,967 JESUS CHRIST FOR TECHNITRON. 671 00:44:17,433 --> 00:44:19,733 Man (on radio): THE NATION IS IN CHAOS. 672 00:44:19,767 --> 00:44:22,433 CAN NOTHING STOP THIS TOMATO ONSLAUGHT? 673 00:44:22,467 --> 00:44:24,500 LAST NIGHT, TOMATOES ATTACKED LOS ANGELES... 674 00:44:24,533 --> 00:44:26,500 (screaming) 675 00:44:26,533 --> 00:44:27,733 BOSTON. 676 00:44:29,600 --> 00:44:31,033 SEATTLE. 677 00:44:32,733 --> 00:44:34,267 CHICAGO. 678 00:44:35,833 --> 00:44:37,800 EVEN THE MERE MENTION OF THE WORD 679 00:44:37,833 --> 00:44:40,800 IS SUFFICIENT TO INDUCE PANIC. 680 00:44:47,433 --> 00:44:48,967 TOMATO. 681 00:44:49,000 --> 00:44:50,900 (Screaming) 682 00:45:01,100 --> 00:45:03,300 MORE NEWS AT THE HOUR. 683 00:45:03,333 --> 00:45:07,400 NOW BACK TO THE ROCKING SOUND OF THE BOOBER ON SUPER 101. 684 00:45:07,433 --> 00:45:09,400 Man #2: ALL RIGHT! MAN, THAT'S REALLY SOMETHING, HUH? 685 00:45:09,433 --> 00:45:12,833 HEY, EVERYONE, I'M GONNA PLAY SOMETHING... 686 00:45:12,867 --> 00:45:14,700 (slurping, growling) 687 00:45:14,733 --> 00:45:17,400 THAT'S RIGHT, MAN. IT'S NUMBER ONE IN THE CHARTS THIS WEEK... 688 00:45:17,433 --> 00:45:20,267 THE HEAVY SOUND OF RONNY DESMOND'S "PUBERTY LOVE." 689 00:45:20,300 --> 00:45:22,533 * PUBERTY 690 00:45:22,567 --> 00:45:24,533 * PUBERTY LOVE 691 00:45:24,567 --> 00:45:28,367 * THERE IS NOTHING LIKE PUBERTY LOVE * 692 00:45:28,400 --> 00:45:30,567 (continues, indistinct) 693 00:45:50,467 --> 00:45:52,867 WHILE THE FEDERAL AGENCIES INVOLVED HAVE DECLARED 694 00:45:52,900 --> 00:45:55,600 -(snoring) - THAT THE NECESSARY INFORMATION HAS NOT BEEN FORWARDED 695 00:45:55,633 --> 00:45:59,667 TO STATE AGENCIES FOR THEIR RESPECTIVE REVIEW AND APPROVAL, 696 00:45:59,700 --> 00:46:03,433 WE CANNOT IGNORE LOCAL PLEAS FOR INTER-GOVERNMENTAL COOPERATION 697 00:46:03,467 --> 00:46:05,767 - (snoring) - IN WHAT IS OBVIOUSLY AN AFFAIR 698 00:46:05,800 --> 00:46:09,000 BEST SUITED FOR INTERNATIONAL ACTIONS. 699 00:46:09,033 --> 00:46:11,833 - (Snoring) - THIS IS A QUESTION BEST LEFT TO PEOPLE 700 00:46:11,867 --> 00:46:14,700 FOR WHOM THERE IS NO SPOKESMAN GREATER 701 00:46:14,733 --> 00:46:17,233 THAN THOSE WHO SPEAK... 702 00:46:17,267 --> 00:46:19,200 (men snoring loudly) 703 00:46:29,233 --> 00:46:31,700 Dixon: AND THEN I PUT MY FOOT TO THE FLOOR, 704 00:46:31,733 --> 00:46:34,600 AND I GOT OUT OF THERE AS FAST AS I COULD. 705 00:46:34,633 --> 00:46:37,900 IT WAS ALL VERY STRANGE. I... I JUST DON'T KNOW WHAT TO THINK. 706 00:46:37,933 --> 00:46:41,300 YOU MADE NO UNUSUAL MOTIONS OF ANY KIND? 707 00:46:41,333 --> 00:46:43,267 NOT TO MY KNOWLEDGE. 708 00:46:43,300 --> 00:46:44,900 ODD. 709 00:46:44,933 --> 00:46:47,800 WERE THERE ANY LOUD NOISES OR OTHER EXTRANEOUS ACTIVITY 710 00:46:47,833 --> 00:46:49,933 WHICH MIGHT HAVE AFFECTED THE TOMATOES' BEHAVIOR, 711 00:46:49,967 --> 00:46:52,233 SUCH AS AN AIRPLANE 712 00:46:52,267 --> 00:46:53,700 OR ANOTHER CAR IN THE VICINITY? 713 00:46:53,733 --> 00:46:55,767 I'M ALMOST SURE THERE WASN'T. 714 00:46:55,800 --> 00:46:57,867 -(Snoring) - IF YOU'LL EXCUSE ME, GENTLEMEN, 715 00:46:57,900 --> 00:47:00,233 I REALLY HAVE TO BE GETTING BACK TO WASHINGTON. 716 00:47:00,267 --> 00:47:02,333 THAT'S FINE. GIVE MY REGARDS TO THE PRESIDENT. 717 00:47:02,367 --> 00:47:05,233 - I'LL DO THAT, CAPTAIN. - IT'S "MAJOR." 718 00:47:05,267 --> 00:47:07,167 OF COURSE. 719 00:47:07,200 --> 00:47:10,700 PRIORITY-ONE MESSAGE FOR MR. DIXON, SIR. 720 00:47:10,733 --> 00:47:13,633 - A PHONE CALL FOR YOU. - OH, THANK YOU. 721 00:47:13,667 --> 00:47:15,700 I'LL NEED ONE OF THOSE FOR MY RECORDS TOO. 722 00:47:15,733 --> 00:47:17,867 I'LL NEED ONE FOR MY FILES. 723 00:47:17,900 --> 00:47:19,867 AND DON'T FORGET THE MAJOR. 724 00:47:19,900 --> 00:47:22,267 (All chattering) 725 00:47:55,300 --> 00:47:57,733 - YEAH? - TROUBLE, SIR. 726 00:47:57,767 --> 00:47:59,200 - HELLO? - TROUBLE, SIR. 727 00:47:59,233 --> 00:48:00,533 Both: WHAT? 728 00:48:00,567 --> 00:48:02,867 I HAVEN'T SEEN DIXON ALL DAY. 729 00:48:02,900 --> 00:48:06,267 I'VE BEEN FOLLOWING HIS ASSISTANT, BUT THAT'S GETTING ME NOWHERE. 730 00:48:06,300 --> 00:48:08,433 - "FOLLOWED"? BY WHO? - FOLLOWING WHO? 731 00:48:08,467 --> 00:48:10,267 - HIS ASSISTANT. - A SPY. 732 00:48:10,300 --> 00:48:12,133 - A SPY? - THAT'S RIGHT. 733 00:48:12,167 --> 00:48:13,333 Both: WELL, WHAT'S HE LOOK LIKE? 734 00:48:13,367 --> 00:48:15,133 MEDIUM HEIGHT, MEDIUM BUILD. 735 00:48:15,167 --> 00:48:18,300 IT'S A "SHE," SIR. YOU KNOW, THE STRUMPET LAST NIGHT. 736 00:48:18,333 --> 00:48:20,233 - THE ONE WITH THE BIG... - GUNS AND A SWORD... 737 00:48:20,267 --> 00:48:21,800 - WITH LONG, BLONDE... - PARACHUTE... 738 00:48:21,833 --> 00:48:23,600 - SUNGLASSES... - COMBAT BOOTS... 739 00:48:23,633 --> 00:48:26,167 - AND A DRESS. - NOTHING SUSPICIOUS ABOUT THAT. 740 00:48:26,200 --> 00:48:29,200 - YOU CAN'T BE SERIOUS. - WHAT SHALL I DO? 741 00:48:29,233 --> 00:48:32,800 LOOK, I THOUGHT I MADE IT PERFECTLY CLEAR. 742 00:48:32,833 --> 00:48:36,300 I DON'T THINK YOU'VE MADE USE OF ALL YOUR POTENTIAL, IF YOU KNOW WHAT I MEAN. 743 00:48:36,333 --> 00:48:38,400 LOOK, YOU'RE OBVIOUSLY TIRED. 744 00:48:38,433 --> 00:48:40,200 WHY DON'T YOU GO TAKE A NAP? 745 00:48:40,233 --> 00:48:43,400 - YOU MEAN, GO TO BED? - I COULDN'T DO THAT! 746 00:48:43,433 --> 00:48:46,433 - WHY NOT? YOU'RE A WOMAN. - I RESENT THAT. 747 00:48:46,467 --> 00:48:48,800 I DIDN'T SAY THAT YOU WERE INCOMPETENT. 748 00:48:48,833 --> 00:48:51,267 I JUST THINK YOU COULD USE A REST. 749 00:48:51,300 --> 00:48:53,800 YES, SIR. BUT I... 750 00:48:53,833 --> 00:48:57,533 WELL, I'LL DO MY BEST, SIR. 751 00:48:57,567 --> 00:49:00,100 - GOODBYE. - GOODBYE. 752 00:49:00,133 --> 00:49:02,000 GOODBYE. 753 00:49:05,433 --> 00:49:07,167 OPERATOR? 754 00:49:07,200 --> 00:49:09,333 OPERATOR, I, UH... I'VE GOTTEN A WRONG NUMBER. 755 00:49:09,367 --> 00:49:12,400 - I'D LIKE MY DIME BACK. - (high-pitched chattering) 756 00:49:25,267 --> 00:49:26,667 HI, THERE. 757 00:49:26,700 --> 00:49:29,133 HELLO. 758 00:49:29,167 --> 00:49:31,300 LISTEN, ABOUT LAST NIGHT. 759 00:49:31,333 --> 00:49:34,267 IT WAS AN ACCIDENT. I REALLY DIDN'T MEAN... 760 00:49:34,300 --> 00:49:36,700 IT WAS A DARK NIGHT. I MEAN, 761 00:49:36,733 --> 00:49:39,333 THE LIGHTS WERE OFF, AND IT GOT DARK. 762 00:49:39,367 --> 00:49:43,733 I MEAN, IT WAS DARK, AND IT WAS LIGHT EARLIER. 763 00:49:43,767 --> 00:49:45,667 YOU WANT TO GO TO BED? 764 00:49:45,700 --> 00:49:47,467 UH, EXCUSE ME, MA'AM? 765 00:49:47,500 --> 00:49:49,633 - UH... - I'VE GOT TO GO TO BED. 766 00:50:47,100 --> 00:50:50,067 Newspaper editor's voice: I DON'T THINK YOU'VE MADE USE OF ALL YOUR POTENTIAL, 767 00:50:50,100 --> 00:50:51,700 IF YOU KNOW WHAT I MEAN. 768 00:50:51,733 --> 00:50:54,600 ALL YOUR POTENTIAL. (echoing) POTENTIAL. POTENTIAL. POTENTIAL. 769 00:50:59,067 --> 00:51:00,933 (Clattering) 770 00:51:22,000 --> 00:51:23,567 I, UH... 771 00:51:25,400 --> 00:51:28,400 I WAS RIGHT. I WAS RIGHT! 772 00:51:28,433 --> 00:51:31,033 A SPY! (screams) 773 00:51:31,067 --> 00:51:32,967 (crash) 774 00:51:34,333 --> 00:51:36,567 (screaming) 775 00:51:45,400 --> 00:51:48,600 (Fairchild screaming) 776 00:52:20,100 --> 00:52:22,200 DID YOU WARN GRETTA? 777 00:52:22,233 --> 00:52:26,267 UH, YES, SIR, BUT SHE WAS ALREADY DEAD. 778 00:52:26,300 --> 00:52:28,167 IT FIGURES. 779 00:52:31,000 --> 00:52:32,900 (Slurping) 780 00:53:00,867 --> 00:53:03,467 Man (over intercom): ATTENTION. ATTENTION. 781 00:53:03,500 --> 00:53:05,967 THE 56th COMBAT SUPPORT GROUP 782 00:53:06,000 --> 00:53:07,933 WILL DEPART AT 0900 HOURS. 783 00:53:07,967 --> 00:53:12,100 ALL 3rd DIVISION PERSONNEL REPORT TO THE 5th DIVISION STAGING AREA. 784 00:53:12,133 --> 00:53:14,200 ALL 5th DIVISION PERSONNEL REPORT TO 785 00:53:14,233 --> 00:53:16,267 THE 3rd DIVISION STAGING AREA. 786 00:53:16,300 --> 00:53:19,067 WILL THE DRIVER OF TANK 38421 787 00:53:19,100 --> 00:53:21,200 PLEASE GO TO THE PARKING LOT? 788 00:53:21,233 --> 00:53:23,133 YOUR LIGHTS ARE ON. 789 00:53:28,067 --> 00:53:30,933 - HAD A FEW SETBACKS DURING THE NIGHT. - SERIOUS? 790 00:53:30,967 --> 00:53:32,467 WELL, IT DEPENDS ON YOUR POINT OF VIEW. 791 00:53:32,500 --> 00:53:34,967 DID YOU HAVE ANY RELATIVES IN WYOMING? 792 00:53:35,000 --> 00:53:36,800 SAY AGAIN? 793 00:53:36,833 --> 00:53:38,733 "ARKANSAS"? ARE YOU SURE? 794 00:53:41,200 --> 00:53:42,733 ARKANSAS. 795 00:53:44,433 --> 00:53:46,767 Dixon: WHAT'S THE SITUATION? 796 00:53:49,100 --> 00:53:51,400 PRIME INTELLIGENCE TELLS US 797 00:53:51,433 --> 00:53:53,367 THAT THE TOMATOES ARE AMASSING FOR A FINAL 798 00:53:53,400 --> 00:53:55,267 ALL-OUT ATTACK ON THE NATION. 799 00:53:55,300 --> 00:53:59,000 OUR TOP BRASS WANTS US TO CONCENTRATE OUR FORCES HERE ON THE COAST. 800 00:53:59,033 --> 00:54:01,500 IF WE CAN HOLD THEM HERE, WE CAN WIN. 801 00:54:01,533 --> 00:54:04,000 - IF NOT... - IS THERE ANYTHING I CAN DO, MAJOR? 802 00:54:04,033 --> 00:54:06,333 YES. THE PRESIDENT WANTS YOUR PERSONAL REPORT. 803 00:54:06,367 --> 00:54:08,967 CALL HIM ON THE RED LINE AT 1100 HOURS. 804 00:54:09,000 --> 00:54:10,833 BE BACK HERE TONIGHT. 805 00:54:10,867 --> 00:54:12,867 WE'LL NEED EVERY MAN WE CAN GET. 806 00:54:12,900 --> 00:54:15,100 DAMN IT, DIXON, THIS IS WAR! 807 00:54:15,133 --> 00:54:16,767 VERY GOOD, SIR. 808 00:54:20,933 --> 00:54:22,767 (Gunshot) 809 00:54:24,800 --> 00:54:26,933 SIR, I... I THINK SOMEBODY'S SHOOTING AT YOU. 810 00:54:26,967 --> 00:54:29,033 - WHERE DO YOU THINK... (exclaims) - (bullet ricochets) 811 00:56:13,233 --> 00:56:15,133 SO YOU CAN SEE, MR. DIXON, 812 00:56:15,167 --> 00:56:17,800 WE HAVE NO CHOICE BUT TO MAKE OUR STAND OUT WEST. 813 00:56:17,833 --> 00:56:20,833 AND I WANT YOU TO MAKE SURE THAT OUR MILITARY PEOPLE 814 00:56:20,867 --> 00:56:22,900 OUT THERE IN THAT REGION UNDERSTAND AND ARE AWARE 815 00:56:22,933 --> 00:56:25,200 OF THEIR ENORMOUS RESPONSIBILITY. 816 00:56:25,233 --> 00:56:27,033 I'M SURE THEY ARE, MR. PRESIDENT. 817 00:56:27,067 --> 00:56:29,833 President: BY THE WAY, HAVE YOU SEEN JIM RICHARDSON OUT THERE? 818 00:56:29,867 --> 00:56:32,967 Dixon: JUST BRIEFLY. HOW'S THE AD CAMPAIGN GOING? 819 00:56:33,000 --> 00:56:34,767 EXCELLENT. MY MAIL'S RUNNING 820 00:56:34,800 --> 00:56:37,233 30 TO 1 IN FAVOR OF THE TOMATOES. 821 00:56:37,267 --> 00:56:38,933 TERRIFIC. 822 00:56:38,967 --> 00:56:41,333 OH, GOD, I ALMOST FORGOT. 823 00:56:41,367 --> 00:56:43,233 - SHIRLEY? - Woman: YES, SIR? 824 00:56:43,267 --> 00:56:45,633 I WANT YOU TO GET GENERAL MITCHELL ON THE LINE. 825 00:56:45,667 --> 00:56:48,267 TELL HIM TO BOMB NEW YORK CITY. 826 00:56:48,300 --> 00:56:50,000 BUT, MR. PRESIDENT, 827 00:56:50,033 --> 00:56:52,733 THE TOMATOES ARE NOT EVEN CLOSE TO NEW YORK CITY. 828 00:56:52,767 --> 00:56:54,733 LISTEN, YOU WORRY ABOUT YOUR PROBLEMS, 829 00:56:54,767 --> 00:56:56,933 AND I'LL WORRY ABOUT MINE. 830 00:56:56,967 --> 00:56:59,500 YES, SIR. 831 00:57:04,067 --> 00:57:05,833 - IS THAT THE LAST PEN? - YES, SIR. 832 00:57:05,867 --> 00:57:07,667 THANK GOD. 833 00:57:16,267 --> 00:57:18,200 (Tomatoes slurping) 834 00:57:20,133 --> 00:57:22,300 HEY, WILL SOMEBODY PLEASE PASS THE KETCHUP? 835 00:57:22,333 --> 00:57:24,667 (Angry gibbering) 836 00:57:24,700 --> 00:57:26,600 (screams) 837 00:57:32,633 --> 00:57:34,167 AS YOU WERE. 838 00:57:34,200 --> 00:57:35,767 Man: ORDER, ARMS. 839 00:57:39,633 --> 00:57:41,700 THE MEN LOOK READY, MAJOR. 840 00:57:41,733 --> 00:57:43,567 AS READY AS THEY'LL EVER BE, DIXON. 841 00:57:45,667 --> 00:57:46,933 YOU KNOW, DIXON, 842 00:57:46,967 --> 00:57:49,533 A MAN STOPS TO THINK AT A TIME LIKE THIS 843 00:57:49,567 --> 00:57:51,133 ABOUT HIS HOME, 844 00:57:51,167 --> 00:57:53,833 HIS WIFE, HIS KIDS. 845 00:57:53,867 --> 00:57:56,600 - YOU MARRIED, MAJOR? - NO. 846 00:57:56,633 --> 00:57:58,633 ME EITHER. 847 00:57:58,667 --> 00:58:02,567 I WONDER WHAT THE TOMATOES ARE THINKING ABOUT RIGHT NOW. 848 00:58:41,267 --> 00:58:44,033 * WE STOPPED 849 00:58:44,067 --> 00:58:48,600 * THE GERMANS IN '45 850 00:58:48,633 --> 00:58:51,033 * THEN WE CRUSHED 851 00:58:51,067 --> 00:58:55,467 - * THE VIET CONG - * ALMOST 852 00:58:55,500 --> 00:58:59,100 * FOR A GREATER GLORY 853 00:58:59,133 --> 00:59:02,633 * WE COULD NEVER STRIVE * 854 00:59:02,667 --> 00:59:05,500 * THIS CROP UPRISING 855 00:59:05,533 --> 00:59:09,633 * WILL NOT LAST LONG 856 00:59:12,733 --> 00:59:15,633 * AIN'T NO TIME TO MAKE A FUSS * 857 00:59:15,667 --> 00:59:17,800 * WE GOT TO GET THOSE TOMATOES * 858 00:59:17,833 --> 00:59:19,833 * BEFORE THEY GET US 859 00:59:19,867 --> 00:59:22,767 * WE'RE GONNA BEAT 'EM, MASH 'EM, SQUISH 'EM, BASH 'EM IN THE STREET * 860 00:59:22,800 --> 00:59:26,433 * WE'RE GONNA KICK 'EM, KICK 'EM, MUSH 'EM, CRUSH 'EM WITH OUR FEET * 861 00:59:26,467 --> 00:59:31,433 * WE'RE GONNA MEET THEM, MUNCH THEM, CRUNCH THEM, GONNA STOMP 'EM IN PLACE * 862 00:59:31,467 --> 00:59:34,200 - YEAH. - YEAH. 863 00:59:34,233 --> 00:59:36,933 * T-O-M-A-T 864 00:59:36,967 --> 00:59:40,900 * O-E-S TOMATOES * 865 00:59:40,933 --> 00:59:44,500 * WE'LL SQUISH THEM, WE'LL MASH THEM * 866 00:59:44,533 --> 00:59:48,167 * WE'LL MUSH THEM WE'LL CRUSH THEM * 867 00:59:48,200 --> 00:59:51,933 * WE STOPPED TO NEGOTIATE AT THE FIRST ATTACK * 868 00:59:51,967 --> 00:59:55,467 * WE GAVE 'EM ALABAMA BUT THEY GAVE IT RIGHT BACK * 869 00:59:55,500 --> 00:59:58,800 * TOMATOES, TOMATOES 870 00:59:58,833 --> 01:00:00,500 * TOMATOES 871 01:00:02,800 --> 01:00:05,700 * THEY SAID WE'D LIVE TOGETHER LIKE SISTER AND BROTHER * 872 01:00:05,733 --> 01:00:09,600 * BUT THEY CAPTURED A CANNERY AND BOTTLED MY MOTHER * 873 01:00:09,633 --> 01:00:12,900 * NOW SHE'S AT THE STORE AND THEY'LL SOON BE BACK FOR MORE * 874 01:00:12,933 --> 01:00:15,000 * THOSE TOMATOES 875 01:00:15,033 --> 01:00:17,067 * TOMATOES 876 01:00:46,600 --> 01:00:48,800 (gibbering) 877 01:01:12,867 --> 01:01:14,700 (growling) 878 01:01:20,367 --> 01:01:22,367 (groaning) 879 01:01:34,667 --> 01:01:36,967 Male Narrator: ACROSS THE LENGTH AND BREADTH OF THE NATION, 880 01:01:37,000 --> 01:01:40,967 THE TOMATOES CONTINUE ON THEIR RAMPAGE OF WANTON DESTRUCTION, 881 01:01:41,000 --> 01:01:42,933 - BURNING, - (woman screams) 882 01:01:42,967 --> 01:01:45,600 - PILLAGING, - (woman screams) 883 01:01:45,633 --> 01:01:48,567 - RAPING. - (woman screams) 884 01:01:59,700 --> 01:02:03,733 - (coughing) - LET'S SHOOT IT FROM OVER THERE, HUH, BILL? 885 01:02:03,767 --> 01:02:05,700 COME ON OVER HERE, LADY. 886 01:02:05,733 --> 01:02:07,333 STAND BY OVER HERE FOR JUST A MINUTE, HUH? 887 01:02:07,367 --> 01:02:09,367 OKAY, DON'T GO AWAY. 888 01:02:09,400 --> 01:02:11,767 WE START WITH A TIGHT SHOT, HUH, BILL? 889 01:02:11,800 --> 01:02:13,767 TELL ME WHEN YOU'RE READY. 890 01:02:13,800 --> 01:02:15,700 DON'T RUN OFF. 891 01:02:18,800 --> 01:02:21,667 ACROSS THIS GREAT NATION, ALMOST EVERYONE HAS BEEN AFFECTED 892 01:02:21,700 --> 01:02:24,367 IN ONE WAY OR ANOTHER BY THIS TERRIBLE TOMATO ONSLAUGHT. 893 01:02:24,400 --> 01:02:26,800 - MRS. WILLIAMS, I UNDERSTAND YOUR HUSBAND IS MISSING. - YES, HE IS. 894 01:02:26,833 --> 01:02:28,467 - DO YOU THINK HE'S DEAD? - WELL, I... 895 01:02:28,500 --> 01:02:31,267 - WILL YOU MISS HIM? WILL YOU MARRY AGAIN? - (screaming) 896 01:02:31,300 --> 01:02:32,933 WHAT IF HE'S LAYING IN A DITCH SOMEWHERE 897 01:02:32,967 --> 01:02:35,500 - WITH BOTH LEGS BROKEN, CALLING YOUR NAME? - (crying) STOP! 898 01:02:35,533 --> 01:02:39,400 YOU WILL HAVE TO FIND ANOTHER MAN, YOU KNOW. YOU'RE NO SPRING CHICKEN. 899 01:02:39,433 --> 01:02:41,300 WHAT ARE YOU GOING TO DO, MRS. WILLIAMS? 900 01:02:41,333 --> 01:02:43,533 - CAN YOU ANSWER MY QUEST... - (wailing) 901 01:02:43,567 --> 01:02:45,500 PLEASE LOOK INTO THE CAMERA. 902 01:02:45,533 --> 01:02:48,467 Mrs. Williams (wailing): GET AWAY FROM ME! 903 01:02:48,500 --> 01:02:51,367 Male Narrator: LAST NIGHT'S CRUSHING MILITARY DEFEAT 904 01:02:51,400 --> 01:02:53,600 MAY SPELL THE END FOR HUMANITY. 905 01:02:53,633 --> 01:02:56,667 THE SHATTERED REMNANTS OF A ONCE-PROUD CIVILIZATION 906 01:02:56,700 --> 01:03:00,467 LAY SCATTERED AMONGST CRUSHED SPIRITS AND BROKEN BODIES. 907 01:03:00,500 --> 01:03:03,933 LAWLESSNESS IS RAMPANT, PANIC STALKS THE STREETS, 908 01:03:03,967 --> 01:03:05,833 AND PERSONAL GROOMING HABITS 909 01:03:05,867 --> 01:03:08,267 HAVE REACHED AN ALL-TIME LOW. 910 01:03:53,433 --> 01:03:55,433 (Gibbering) 911 01:04:14,300 --> 01:04:16,200 (gibbering continues) 912 01:04:40,333 --> 01:04:42,300 Man (on radio): I'LL TELL YOU NOW WHAT'S COMING UP... 913 01:04:42,333 --> 01:04:44,733 IT'S THE SONG THAT'S SWEEPING THE COUNTRY, NUMBER ONE ALL OVER, 914 01:04:44,767 --> 01:04:48,267 FROM THE WEST COAST TO THE EAST COAST, EVERY COAST IN BETWEEN... 915 01:04:48,300 --> 01:04:50,800 YEAH, THAT'S RIGHT. YOU'VE BEEN ASKING FOR IT, YOU'VE BEEN WAITING FOR IT. 916 01:04:50,833 --> 01:04:54,367 HERE IT IS, BOYS AND GALS, IT'S RONNY DESMOND'S "PUBERTY LOVE"! 917 01:04:54,400 --> 01:04:58,600 * PUBERTY PUBERTY LOVE * 918 01:04:58,633 --> 01:05:03,167 * THERE IS NOTHING LIKE PUBERTY LOVE * 919 01:05:03,200 --> 01:05:05,333 * IT'S SO DEEP 920 01:05:05,367 --> 01:05:07,833 * IT'S SO COOL 921 01:05:07,867 --> 01:05:09,800 (continues, indistinct) 922 01:05:34,100 --> 01:05:37,033 GET OUT OF THE CAR! HURRY UP, MOVE! 923 01:05:48,700 --> 01:05:50,600 (Shouting) 924 01:06:00,767 --> 01:06:03,600 (shouting continues) 925 01:06:13,467 --> 01:06:14,733 (shouting continues) 926 01:06:26,467 --> 01:06:28,400 (engine sputtering) 927 01:06:32,067 --> 01:06:35,033 (engine clattering violently) 928 01:06:56,433 --> 01:06:58,033 HEY! 929 01:07:03,100 --> 01:07:05,633 - SIR? SIR? - WHAT? 930 01:07:05,667 --> 01:07:08,167 - SIR! SIR! - I'M DRIVING! 931 01:07:08,200 --> 01:07:11,000 (Exclaiming) 932 01:07:13,667 --> 01:07:15,967 Dixon: THERE'S SOMETHING WRONG WITH THE CAR! 933 01:07:16,000 --> 01:07:18,433 WE'LL GET THEM, FINLETTER! 934 01:07:18,467 --> 01:07:22,433 - WE CAN CATCH IT, SIR! - DON'T WORRY! 935 01:07:55,167 --> 01:07:56,833 FREEZE! 936 01:08:15,500 --> 01:08:17,900 Richardson: GOOD AFTERNOON, MR. DIXON. 937 01:08:17,933 --> 01:08:20,267 HAD A PLEASANT NAP? 938 01:08:20,300 --> 01:08:23,400 RICHARDSON. I'M NOT SURPRISED. 939 01:08:23,433 --> 01:08:25,200 MR. DIXON, 940 01:08:25,233 --> 01:08:28,033 I DIDN'T REALLY THINK YOU WOULD BE. 941 01:08:28,067 --> 01:08:30,033 THAT'S WHY YOU'RE HERE. 942 01:08:30,067 --> 01:08:31,967 WHAT DO YOU INTEND TO DO WITH ME? 943 01:08:32,000 --> 01:08:34,900 MR. DIXON, DON'T BE SO NAIVE. 944 01:08:34,933 --> 01:08:38,867 YOU ARE THE ONLY ONE WITH THE KNOWLEDGE THAT CAN STOP ME. 945 01:08:38,900 --> 01:08:40,933 DON'T BE A FOOL, RICHARDSON. YOU DON'T HAVE A CHANCE. 946 01:08:40,967 --> 01:08:45,033 YOU KNOW VERY WELL I DO. 947 01:08:45,067 --> 01:08:47,267 YOU KNOW, 948 01:08:47,300 --> 01:08:50,133 IT'S FUNNY, DIXON. 949 01:08:52,433 --> 01:08:56,000 NO MAN SITS CLOSER TO POWER 950 01:08:56,033 --> 01:08:59,200 THAN THE PRESS SECRETARY TO THE PRESIDENT OF THE UNITED STATES. 951 01:09:01,500 --> 01:09:03,533 AND YET AS CLOSE AS IT IS, 952 01:09:03,567 --> 01:09:07,133 THAT POWER IS NEVER REALLY WITHIN YOUR GRASP. 953 01:09:07,167 --> 01:09:09,567 IT DANGLES BEFORE YOU, 954 01:09:09,600 --> 01:09:12,933 TAUNTING, DARING, 955 01:09:12,967 --> 01:09:14,933 MOCKING YOUR VERY IMPOTENCE. 956 01:09:14,967 --> 01:09:17,867 I WILL NOT BE MOCKED ANYMORE! 957 01:09:17,900 --> 01:09:21,400 I WILL NO LONGER GIVE OTHER PEOPLE'S ANSWERS 958 01:09:21,433 --> 01:09:24,133 TO OTHER PEOPLE'S QUESTIONS. 959 01:09:24,167 --> 01:09:27,033 THE ANSWERS WILL BE MINE. 960 01:09:27,067 --> 01:09:30,133 THE QUESTIONS WILL BE MINE. 961 01:09:30,167 --> 01:09:33,933 EVERYTHING WILL BE MINE. 962 01:09:33,967 --> 01:09:36,867 IT'LL BE GLORIOUS, DIXON. 963 01:09:36,900 --> 01:09:39,567 IT'S TOO BAD YOU WON'T BE AROUND TO SEE IT. 964 01:09:39,600 --> 01:09:42,000 WHAT MAKES YOU THINK THAT YOU CAN 965 01:09:42,033 --> 01:09:45,567 CONTROL THESE TOMATOES BETTER THAN ANYONE ELSE? 966 01:09:45,600 --> 01:09:48,067 QUESTIONS, QUESTIONS. 967 01:09:48,100 --> 01:09:51,267 YOU MISSED YOUR CALLING. 968 01:09:51,300 --> 01:09:56,033 MR. DIXON, HAVE YOU HAD LUNCH YET? 969 01:09:56,067 --> 01:09:58,867 HERE. HAVE A TOMATO. 970 01:09:58,900 --> 01:10:01,367 (Chuckles) DON'T BE AFRAID. 971 01:10:01,400 --> 01:10:04,367 IT'S REALLY QUITE SMALL AND QUITE HARMLESS. 972 01:10:04,400 --> 01:10:06,300 IT'S FROM MY GARDEN. 973 01:10:09,867 --> 01:10:12,267 YOU MIGHT SAY THAT I'M... 974 01:10:12,300 --> 01:10:15,300 IN TUNE WITH MY TOMATOES. 975 01:10:20,300 --> 01:10:22,267 AT THE PROPER TIME, 976 01:10:22,300 --> 01:10:24,867 WHEN ALL VESTIGES OF AUTHORITY 977 01:10:24,900 --> 01:10:26,767 HAVE DISAPPEARED, 978 01:10:26,800 --> 01:10:29,333 I SHALL CHARGE IN ON MY WHITE STALLION 979 01:10:29,367 --> 01:10:31,267 AND SAVE THE NATION, 980 01:10:31,300 --> 01:10:33,867 OR WHAT'S LEFT OF IT. 981 01:10:33,900 --> 01:10:37,933 MY FELLOW CITIZENS WILL BE ETERNALLY GRATEFUL. 982 01:10:37,967 --> 01:10:40,200 AT THE VERY LEAST, THEY'LL SURELY CHOOSE 983 01:10:40,233 --> 01:10:42,300 MY BENEVOLENT LEADERSHIP 984 01:10:42,333 --> 01:10:45,100 OVER THE OBVIOUS ALTERNATIVE. 985 01:10:47,333 --> 01:10:49,800 IT SHALL BE MY GOLDEN MOMENT. 986 01:10:54,400 --> 01:10:56,067 BUT, MR. DIXON, 987 01:10:56,100 --> 01:10:58,933 I'M AFRAID THESE ARE YOUR FINAL MOMENTS. 988 01:10:58,967 --> 01:11:02,400 YOU'RE AWFULLY CONFIDENT FOR A MAN WHO HAS FAILED TWICE. 989 01:11:02,433 --> 01:11:06,067 THREE TIMES, BUT WHO'S COUNTING? 990 01:11:06,100 --> 01:11:08,033 I DON'T THINK YOU CAN DO IT. 991 01:11:08,067 --> 01:11:11,433 YOU KNOW, DIXON, YOU MAY BE RIGHT. 992 01:11:11,467 --> 01:11:14,833 I'VE NEVER KILLED A MAN BEFORE. 993 01:11:14,867 --> 01:11:16,933 YOU MAY BE RIGHT. 994 01:11:16,967 --> 01:11:18,933 (Door buzzer sounds) 995 01:11:20,900 --> 01:11:22,500 WHO'S THERE? 996 01:11:22,533 --> 01:11:25,667 Man: U.P.S. PACKAGE FOR YOU. 997 01:11:28,133 --> 01:11:29,700 COME IN. 998 01:11:29,733 --> 01:11:32,000 (Shot fires) 999 01:11:42,833 --> 01:11:44,867 THEN AGAIN, 1000 01:11:44,900 --> 01:11:47,733 - YOU MAY BE WRONG. - WAIT. 1001 01:11:49,900 --> 01:11:51,867 BEFORE YOU PULL THAT TRIGGER, 1002 01:11:51,900 --> 01:11:53,867 TELL ME HOW YOU DO IT. 1003 01:11:53,900 --> 01:11:55,567 REALLY. 1004 01:11:56,700 --> 01:11:59,600 HOW MELODRAMATIC. 1005 01:11:59,633 --> 01:12:02,433 VERY WELL. IT'S REALLY QUITE SIMPLE. 1006 01:12:02,467 --> 01:12:05,100 - (Footsteps running) - YOU SEE, ALL I DO IS... 1007 01:12:05,133 --> 01:12:06,333 (shouting) 1008 01:12:06,367 --> 01:12:10,033 (groaning) 1009 01:12:13,800 --> 01:12:16,767 A REAL BAD APPLE, SIR. IT'S A GOOD THING WE GOT HIM. 1010 01:12:16,800 --> 01:12:18,900 (Exclaiming) 1011 01:12:47,067 --> 01:12:49,633 FINLETTER! FINLETTER! 1012 01:12:49,667 --> 01:12:51,933 WE'VE GOT TO ROUND UP EVERYBODY IN THE CITY. YOU GOT THAT? 1013 01:12:51,967 --> 01:12:54,367 AND MEET ME IN THE STADIUM. THERE'S NO TIME TO LOSE. 1014 01:12:54,400 --> 01:12:56,567 BUT, SIR, EVERYBODY'S LEFT TOWN. 1015 01:12:56,600 --> 01:12:58,167 THE ONLY PEOPLE LEFT WILL BE CRAZY PEOPLE. 1016 01:12:58,200 --> 01:13:00,767 I DON'T CARE! JUST DO IT! MOVE! 1017 01:13:00,800 --> 01:13:02,733 SIR... 1018 01:13:22,733 --> 01:13:25,100 THEN IT'S UNANIMOUSLY AGREED 1019 01:13:25,133 --> 01:13:27,100 THAT THE COMMITTEE RECOMMEND 1020 01:13:27,133 --> 01:13:29,967 THAT NO FURTHER ACTION WILL BE TAKEN AT THIS TIME. 1021 01:13:44,600 --> 01:13:46,633 (Crowd chattering, exclaiming) 1022 01:14:27,700 --> 01:14:30,700 I'VE GOT IT! 1023 01:14:30,733 --> 01:14:32,967 I'VE GOT IT! 1024 01:14:41,033 --> 01:14:44,833 HEY, GUYS, LOOK! THEY'RE STARTING TO COME! THEY'RE COMING! 1025 01:14:44,867 --> 01:14:47,767 (Tomatoes growling, slurping) 1026 01:15:06,900 --> 01:15:08,867 (panicked shouting) 1027 01:15:17,233 --> 01:15:19,233 TURN ON THE RECORD PLAYER! 1028 01:15:19,267 --> 01:15:21,000 COVER YOUR EARS! EVERYONE! 1029 01:15:21,033 --> 01:15:24,767 (Over P.A.) * PUBERTY, PUBERTY LOVE 1030 01:15:24,800 --> 01:15:29,700 * THERE'S NOTHING LIKE PUBERTY LOVE * 1031 01:15:29,733 --> 01:15:33,833 * IT'S SO GREAT, IT'S SO COOL * 1032 01:15:33,867 --> 01:15:36,900 (continues, indistinct) 1033 01:15:36,933 --> 01:15:40,600 Dixon: LOOK! THE TOMATOES! IT'S WORKING, IT'S WORKING! 1034 01:15:40,633 --> 01:15:43,433 (People exclaiming) 1035 01:16:01,767 --> 01:16:03,667 CHARGE! 1036 01:17:18,433 --> 01:17:20,533 (Woman screams) 1037 01:17:29,433 --> 01:17:31,833 (woman screams) 1038 01:17:37,900 --> 01:17:40,367 (tomato growling, gibbering) 1039 01:18:37,300 --> 01:18:40,400 I WANT TO THANK YOU FOR SAVING MY LIFE. 1040 01:18:40,433 --> 01:18:42,300 JUST DOING MY JOB, LADY. 1041 01:18:44,667 --> 01:18:48,300 WELL, I GUESS THERE'S NOTHING MORE TO SAY. 1042 01:18:48,333 --> 01:18:50,267 BYE, MR. DIXON. 1043 01:18:50,300 --> 01:18:52,500 GOODBYE, MISS FAIRCHILD. 1044 01:18:52,533 --> 01:18:53,967 "LOIS." 1045 01:18:55,867 --> 01:18:58,367 LOIS. 1046 01:18:58,400 --> 01:19:00,400 GOODBYE, MR. DIXON. 1047 01:19:02,400 --> 01:19:03,933 "MASON." 1048 01:19:03,967 --> 01:19:05,900 MASON? 1049 01:19:08,633 --> 01:19:10,300 LOIS? 1050 01:19:10,333 --> 01:19:12,800 OH, MASON! 1051 01:19:12,833 --> 01:19:15,400 - LOIS! - MASON! 1052 01:19:15,433 --> 01:19:17,733 - LOIS! - MASON! 1053 01:19:17,767 --> 01:19:20,333 - LOIS! - LOIS! 1054 01:19:20,367 --> 01:19:21,700 MASON! 1055 01:19:50,867 --> 01:19:53,900 * THE FIRST TIME I SAW YOU * 1056 01:19:53,933 --> 01:19:57,233 * I HATED YOUR GUTS 1057 01:19:57,267 --> 01:20:00,267 * I FELT YOUR LOVE 1058 01:20:00,300 --> 01:20:03,933 * FOR CIGARETTE BUTTS 1059 01:20:03,967 --> 01:20:07,433 * BUT NOW THAT I'VE TOUCHED YOU * 1060 01:20:07,467 --> 01:20:10,833 * I ALWAYS WILL LOVE YOU * 1061 01:20:10,867 --> 01:20:15,333 * MY LOVE FOR YOU WILL NEVER DIM * 1062 01:20:15,367 --> 01:20:18,200 * UNTIL ALL THE FISH CAN'T SWIM * 1063 01:20:18,233 --> 01:20:20,933 * THE FIRST TIME I SAW YOU * 1064 01:20:20,967 --> 01:20:24,200 * WAS SUCH A THRILL TO ME * 1065 01:20:24,233 --> 01:20:27,867 * I FELT YOUR NOSE 1066 01:20:27,900 --> 01:20:30,533 * TICKLE MY KNEE 1067 01:20:30,567 --> 01:20:33,933 * OUR LOVE WILL BE CLASSY * 1068 01:20:33,967 --> 01:20:37,300 * LIKE TIMMY AND LASSIE 1069 01:20:37,333 --> 01:20:41,800 * I KNOW THAT YOU'RE EVER MINE * 1070 01:20:41,833 --> 01:20:46,733 * UNTIL THE VERY END OF TIME * 1071 01:21:16,267 --> 01:21:18,600 (birds chirping) 1072 01:21:18,633 --> 01:21:21,067 (animals calling) 1073 01:21:37,467 --> 01:21:40,300 (high voice) ALL RIGHT, YOU GUYS, THEY'RE GONE NOW. 1074 01:21:40,333 --> 01:21:42,433 (Upbeat music plays)