1
00:00:21,840 --> 00:00:26,721
# On the day! was born
The nurses all gathered round

2
00:00:26,920 --> 00:00:31,482
And they gazed in wide wonder. At the joy they had found

3
00:00:31,680 --> 00:00:36,083
The head nurse spoke up

4
00:00:36,280 --> 00:00:40,490
# She could tell right away That I was bad to the bone

5
00:00:40,680 --> 00:00:42,967
Bad to the bone...

6
00:00:43,600 --> 00:00:46,126
[sound of rapid gunfire]

7
00:01:13,760 --> 00:01:18,448
Bad to the bone Bad to the bone...

8
00:01:20,360 --> 00:01:22,124
Let’s move out!

9
00:01:23,160 --> 00:01:27,643
B-b-b-b bad
B-b-b-b bad

10
00:01:27,840 --> 00:01:30,047
# Bad to the bone

11
00:01:30,240 --> 00:01:34,882
# When I walk the streets
Kings and queens step aside

12
00:01:35,080 --> 00:01:39,210
# When I meet them They all stay satisfied

13
00:01:39,400 --> 00:01:43,689
# I wanna tell you this, baby
Where I see I make my home

14
00:01:43,880 --> 00:01:47,521
# I'm here to tell ya, honey.
That I'm bad to the bone...

15
00:01:47,720 --> 00:01:49,848
My arm! I've been shot!

16
00:01:53,560 --> 00:01:55,961
Let me take a look at that.

17
00:01:56,560 --> 00:02:01,009
Want me to show you a little trick?
Take your mind off that arm?

18
00:02:01,760 --> 00:02:06,527
Give me your hand.
You may feel a little pressure.

19
00:02:08,520 --> 00:02:10,602
[agonized cry]

20
00:02:11,840 --> 00:02:14,571
My finger! My finger!

21
00:02:14,760 --> 00:02:16,489
Works every time.

22
00:02:17,440 --> 00:02:21,126
# Well, I'm bad to the bone
Bad to the bone

23
00:02:21,320 --> 00:02:25,291
B-b-b-b bad
B-b-b-b bad

24
00:02:25,480 --> 00:02:30,361
B-b-b-b bad
Bad to the

25
00:02:43,440 --> 00:02:46,887
You had better give up, señor.
You cannot kill us all.

26
00:02:47,080 --> 00:02:49,811
Nope, but I can clean your colon out

27
00:02:50,000 --> 00:02:53,971
quicker than one of them burritos
with extra guacamole sauce.

28
00:02:55,280 --> 00:02:59,524
# Bad to the bone
B-b-b-b bad

29
00:02:59,720 --> 00:03:03,725
B-b-b-b bad
B-b-b-b bad I

30
00:03:15,920 --> 00:03:17,763
At ease, Payne.

31
00:03:20,280 --> 00:03:22,726
Relax Do you know why you're here?

32
00:03:23,560 --> 00:03:25,722
Sir, no, sir!

33
00:03:25,920 --> 00:03:29,322
The promotion board report
came out last week.

34
00:03:29,520 --> 00:03:33,923
This is the new Lieutenant Colonel list.
Your name is not on it.

35
00:03:34,880 --> 00:03:39,283
You get two chances to advance
then we gotta show you the hatch.

36
00:03:40,480 --> 00:03:44,485
Base Admin is cutting
your discharge orders right now.

37
00:03:44,680 --> 00:03:48,685
General, are you tryin' to tell me
in all this man's military

38
00:03:48,880 --> 00:03:52,566
there's no room left
for a trained weapon of destruction?

39
00:03:53,120 --> 00:03:55,851
Fighting is no longer done
on the battlefields.

40
00:03:56,040 --> 00:03:58,771
Now all the blood is shed in Congress.

41
00:03:58,960 --> 00:04:01,691
Boys like us are becoming dinosaurs.

42
00:04:04,160 --> 00:04:06,686
Gotta be somebody need some killin'.

43
00:04:07,320 --> 00:04:10,005
I'm sorry, Major, there's no one left.

44
00:04:10,200 --> 00:04:12,771
You've killed 'em all. Good luck

45
00:04:22,360 --> 00:04:26,285
[Payne] It's been two whole weeks
since I killed me a man

46
00:04:26,480 --> 00:04:30,201
and already I'm startin’ to get the itch.

47
00:04:30,400 --> 00:04:34,121
Problem is, I am got nothin’ to scratch.

48
00:04:35,160 --> 00:04:37,925
God, I'm hungry.

49
00:04:38,120 --> 00:04:40,885
Hungry for action.

50
00:04:41,080 --> 00:04:44,004
Hungry for blood.

51
00:04:44,200 --> 00:04:49,081
Hell I'm just plain ol' hungry.

52
00:04:52,080 --> 00:04:55,050
[cat meows and he hisses]

53
00:04:55,480 --> 00:04:58,131
Feel I'm gettin' weaker

54
00:04:58,320 --> 00:05:02,166
while Charlie's growin' stronger
in the jungle.

55
00:05:02,360 --> 00:05:04,488
I can't lose my edge.

56
00:05:04,680 --> 00:05:09,163
I gotta keep my Gotta main tam discipline. 1

57
00:05:10,200 --> 00:05:13,090
Because the hard reality was

58
00:05:13,280 --> 00:05:16,090
I gotta get a job.

59
00:05:16,280 --> 00:05:18,806
And what better place than somewhere

60
00:05:19,000 --> 00:05:24,325
that would allow ma to employ
my skills as a trained killer?

61
00:05:24,520 --> 00:05:26,329
Mister. . . Payne?

62
00:05:28,680 --> 00:05:32,526
This is a dramatization
of a domestic violence dispute.

63
00:05:32,720 --> 00:05:36,167
You arrive to End a woman,
played by Ms Goodman...

64
00:05:36,360 --> 00:05:37,521
Ma'am.

65
00:05:37,720 --> 00:05:41,566
..claiming to have been assaulted
by her husband, Mr Shipman.

66
00:05:41,760 --> 00:05:44,331
- Happy to meet you.
- Same here.

67
00:05:44,520 --> 00:05:48,889
Your objective is to effectively
neutralize the situation.

68
00:05:49,080 --> 00:05:51,048
Neutralize.

69
00:05:52,200 --> 00:05:54,009
Begin.

70
00:05:55,520 --> 00:05:57,568
He hit me!

71
00:05:57,760 --> 00:06:00,127
- You like to beat women?
-Officer, I...

72
00:06:00,320 --> 00:06:03,324
Don't...never...hit...her...again!

73
00:06:03,520 --> 00:06:06,729
- Hear me?
-I

74
00:06:06,920 --> 00:06:09,651
[electronic door buzzer]

75
00:06:17,880 --> 00:06:21,327
Payne, what happened?
You've only been out one week

76
00:06:21,520 --> 00:06:25,411
It's civilian life, sir. I had a minor setback

77
00:06:25,960 --> 00:06:28,725
I made some calls
and I got you an assignment.

78
00:06:28,920 --> 00:06:33,244
It's not great, you understand,
but it gets you back in the military.

79
00:06:35,000 --> 00:06:40,882
[Payne] So after two and a half weeks
of livin' a civilian puke's existence,

80
00:06:41,080 --> 00:06:45,802
I was back in uniform, back in the corps.

81
00:06:46,000 --> 00:06:51,689
Back to the sweet smell of mustard gas and killin'..

82
00:06:53,600 --> 00:06:56,080
Little did I know what awaited for me.

83
00:06:57,120 --> 00:07:01,728
I’ve toured 11 separate engagements,
from Iraq to Haiti

84
00:07:01,920 --> 00:07:05,925
but nothin’ I did would prepare me
for this newest assignment.

85
00:07:06,120 --> 00:07:09,567
I was told it would be
my greatest challenge.

86
00:07:09,760 --> 00:07:13,446
It was sure to be a living hell.

87
00:07:33,520 --> 00:07:37,764
[tannoy] The Glee Club
will be meeting at 3.30.

88
00:07:37,960 --> 00:07:39,610
[bell]

89
00:07:44,840 --> 00:07:48,287
,::fl the teachers
please report to the quad

90
00:07:48,480 --> 00:07:50,562
for the science fair judging.

91
00:07:51,280 --> 00:07:55,888
[woman] Tiger? Tiger, come back here.
I’m not gonna chase you.

92
00:08:04,480 --> 00:08:08,724
- What you runnin' from, boy?
- She's tryin' to give me a shot!

93
00:08:08,920 --> 00:08:11,685
You don't like needles?

94
00:08:11,880 --> 00:08:16,169
Want me to show you a little trick,
take your mind off that pain?

95
00:08:16,360 --> 00:08:18,886
Here, gimme your hand.

96
00:08:19,480 --> 00:08:22,086
Now, you may feel a little bit of pressure.

97
00:08:23,360 --> 00:08:28,321
Hi, I'm Emily Walburn, the school
counsellor. You must be Major Payne.

98
00:08:28,920 --> 00:08:32,049
That's a mighty fine handshake
you got there.

99
00:08:32,240 --> 00:08:35,050
You wanna wrestle?

100
00:08:35,240 --> 00:08:38,483
No, thanks. I wrestle with these kids all day.

101
00:08:38,680 --> 00:08:43,322
This one's usually my big helper.
Come on, Tiger. Nice meeting you, Major.

102
00:08:43,520 --> 00:08:45,761
Nice meetin' you, miss ma'am.

103
00:08:48,000 --> 00:08:51,322
Tiger! Tiger, come back here!

104
00:08:51,520 --> 00:08:53,727
I'm not gonna chase you.

105
00:08:56,320 --> 00:08:58,288
Mmm...

106
00:09:01,240 --> 00:09:03,402
- [knocking]
- Come in.

107
00:09:12,240 --> 00:09:15,289
Major Payne reportin' for duty, sir!

108
00:09:15,480 --> 00:09:17,448
[buzzing]

109
00:09:18,360 --> 00:09:19,407
What?

110
00:09:19,960 --> 00:09:23,282
Major Payne. The new commandant?

111
00:09:23,480 --> 00:09:25,244
Oh, right.

112
00:09:25,440 --> 00:09:28,046
You're in charge of the green boys.

113
00:09:28,880 --> 00:09:30,211
Come again?

114
00:09:30,400 --> 00:09:35,361
The green boys.
They wear those green things.

115
00:09:35,560 --> 00:09:39,849
You know, it’s funny, when they stand in front of bushes, I can’t see them.

116
00:09:41,880 --> 00:09:44,281
Why are you here?

117
00:09:44,480 --> 00:09:49,611
The ROTC programme. I understand
you've been placin' last eight years runnin'

118
00:09:49,800 --> 00:09:54,362
in the Virginia Military Games.
I am here to remedy that.

119
00:09:55,800 --> 00:09:59,122
We have an ROTC programme?

120
00:09:59,320 --> 00:10:02,403
- The green boys, sir.
- Oh, right.

121
00:10:02,600 --> 00:10:06,764
Between us, I don't care
what you do with those boys,

122
00:10:06,960 --> 00:10:10,009
as long as you keep them out of my hair.

123
00:10:10,200 --> 00:10:12,009
Is that all?

124
00:10:13,400 --> 00:10:15,402
Would you like a campus tour'?

125
00:10:15,600 --> 00:10:18,444
No. I'd like to see my men.

126
00:10:18,720 --> 00:10:22,805
Fall ml Move it, you idiots! Let’s go!

127
00:10:23,000 --> 00:10:26,607
Come on, Williams! Let’s move it.
Get a hop on it, boy!

128
00:10:26,800 --> 00:10:29,690
Move!

129
00:10:29,880 --> 00:10:33,805
Fall In, everyone! Fall in! Let’s go!
Come on, people! Move!

130
00:10:34,000 --> 00:10:38,050
Hustle, hustle, hustle! Let’s go. Giddy-up!

131
00:10:38,240 --> 00:10:40,288
Let’s go!

132
00:10:44,920 --> 00:10:47,127
Sir, the squad is formed, sir!

133
00:10:54,200 --> 00:10:55,964
Garry on.

134
00:10:56,160 --> 00:10:58,640
[rhythmic clapping]

135
00:11:01,400 --> 00:11:06,088
My name
is Major Benson Winifred Payne.

136
00:11:06,920 --> 00:11:09,651
As of 0800

137
00:11:09,840 --> 00:11:12,241
I am raplacin' Major Frankfurt

138
00:11:12,440 --> 00:11:14,966
as your commanding officer.

139
00:11:15,160 --> 00:11:18,289
[half-hearted booing]

140
00:11:18,480 --> 00:11:20,642
[rapid gunfire]

141
00:11:22,680 --> 00:11:24,762
See now, what we have here

142
00:11:24,960 --> 00:11:28,203
is a failure to communicate.

143
00:11:31,880 --> 00:11:34,565
Do not attempt

144
00:11:34,760 --> 00:11:38,128
to challenge my authority!

145
00:11:38,320 --> 00:11:41,688
I have eight weeks
to turn you gaggle of maggots

146
00:11:41,880 --> 00:11:44,850
into a well—disciplined cadet unit.

147
00:11:45,040 --> 00:11:47,520
From this day forward,

148
00:11:47,720 --> 00:11:50,690
your sorry asses belong to me.

149
00:11:50,880 --> 00:11:53,884
You will not eat, sleep, drink,

150
00:11:54,080 --> 00:11:59,246
blow your nose or even dig in your butts
without my say-sol

151
00:11:59,440 --> 00:12:03,843
Know this. Killin' is my business, ladies,

152
00:12:04,040 --> 00:12:06,884
and business is good!

153
00:12:07,600 --> 00:12:09,489
Boo-hoo.

154
00:12:10,440 --> 00:12:13,569
- What?
- I have to go to the bathroom.

155
00:12:13,760 --> 00:12:17,082
-You hold it, turd.
-I can't!

156
00:12:18,520 --> 00:12:24,243
I said hold it, or I’ll break that off and kick it around on the ground.

157
00:12:26,080 --> 00:12:28,447
Now, be advised, ladies,

158
00:12:28,640 --> 00:12:32,565
we are going to win
the Virginia Military Games!

159
00:12:32,760 --> 00:12:36,890
I said win. Whiskey, Indian, November.

160
00:12:37,080 --> 00:12:39,208
Get used to the sound of that word!

161
00:12:39,400 --> 00:12:43,928
- Major Payne!
- What, boy? What, what, what'?

162
00:12:44,480 --> 00:12:46,801
I did somethin' bad.

163
00:12:51,240 --> 00:12:54,562
You nasty little worm!

164
00:12:54,760 --> 00:12:58,446
Go change your Huggies, boy,
and be back here pronto!

165
00:12:58,640 --> 00:13:01,803
Stop that cryin'! You'll get no pity from me!

166
00:13:02,000 --> 00:13:05,049
You think your tears'll stop Charlie
from takin' his bayonet

167
00:13:05,240 --> 00:13:08,084
and stickin' it in your little tiny heart?

168
00:13:09,960 --> 00:13:13,885
What the hell was that, u little freckle—faced cartoon?

169
00:13:16,960 --> 00:13:18,962
Did I give you permission to sneeze?

170
00:13:19,160 --> 00:13:22,403
- No, sir.
- Then you hold it in, you big-eared turd,

171
00:13:22,600 --> 00:13:26,366
otherwise I’ll kick your ass
back to Mayberry!

172
00:13:27,840 --> 00:13:30,650
I s we have a sickly boy on our hands.

173
00:13:30,840 --> 00:13:33,571
We're gonna have to boost
your immune system!

174
00:13:33,760 --> 00:13:37,924
Drop down, give me 25 push-ups now!

175
00:13:38,120 --> 00:13:40,566
- Count 'em out!
- One, sir.

176
00:13:41,600 --> 00:13:44,331
Two, sir.

177
00:13:44,520 --> 00:13:46,204
[snorting]

178
00:13:46,400 --> 00:13:47,731
Breep-breep-breep.

179
00:13:47,920 --> 00:13:52,801
What are you laughin’ at, pig—boy? Find a piece of candy in your pocket?

180
00:13:53,000 --> 00:13:56,049
- No, sir!
- What's your name, tubby?

181
00:13:56,240 --> 00:13:58,402
- Heathcoat, sir!
- Heathcoat.

182
00:13:58,600 --> 00:14:01,251
You know, you remind me of the doughboy.

183
00:14:01,440 --> 00:14:03,408
If I poke your stomach
will it make you go...?

184
00:14:03,600 --> 00:14:05,523
[he trills]

185
00:14:05,720 --> 00:14:08,200
I'm gonna help you
make room for lunch, bacon-boy.

186
00:14:08,400 --> 00:14:11,802
Drop down, give me 30 sit-ups
right now! Let’s go!

187
00:14:12,280 --> 00:14:15,170
Count 'em out! Let me see that belly roll.

188
00:14:15,360 --> 00:14:17,761
One, tubby, tubby!

189
00:14:17,960 --> 00:14:20,201
- One, sir.
- Come on, pork chop!

190
00:14:20,400 --> 00:14:22,767
- Two, chubby, chubby!
- Two, sir.

191
00:14:23,560 --> 00:14:26,803
You's a pure genius!
Who are you? Redd Foxx?

192
00:14:27,000 --> 00:14:30,891
No, better yet. You Richard Pryor, ain't you?

193
00:14:31,080 --> 00:14:32,730
What's your name, girlfriend?

194
00:14:32,920 --> 00:14:35,969
Dwight Williams.
The boys call me D, so call me D.

195
00:14:36,160 --> 00:14:39,164
-D?
- Yeah, brother'?

196
00:14:39,360 --> 00:14:42,807
- Like how I handle these white boys?
- Oh, yeah!

197
00:14:43,000 --> 00:14:46,083
Make you feel good
to see a black man runnin' things?

198
00:14:46,280 --> 00:14:49,011
- Malcolm X
- Let me tell you somethin' , D.

199
00:14:49,200 --> 00:14:51,168
- Yeah, brother'?
- Come closer.

200
00:14:51,360 --> 00:14:54,489
I am not your damn brother!

201
00:14:54,680 --> 00:14:58,844
Now drop down,
give me 20 squat thrusts now!

202
00:15:01,440 --> 00:15:04,205
- One, sir.
- What are you lookin' at, ass-eyes?

203
00:15:04,400 --> 00:15:06,971
- Nothing, sir!
-You plottin' on me, boy?

204
00:15:07,160 --> 00:15:10,607
- No, sir!
- Well, let me tell you somethin'.

205
00:15:11,160 --> 00:15:15,290
Let me tell you all somethin'.
War has made me very paranoid!

206
00:15:15,480 --> 00:15:19,121
And when a man eyeballs me
it make my Agent Orange act up

207
00:15:19,320 --> 00:15:21,766
and I get the urge to kill. Understand?

208
00:15:21,960 --> 00:15:23,121
Sir, yes, sir!

209
00:15:23,320 --> 00:15:26,130
- Do you all understand me?
- Sir, yes, sir!

210
00:15:26,320 --> 00:15:28,687
- I can't hear you.
- Sir, yes, sir!

211
00:15:28,880 --> 00:15:31,531
And what is your damage, muscle-head?

212
00:15:31,720 --> 00:15:34,769
You stupid? You ignorant?
Or you just plain ol' deaf?

213
00:15:34,960 --> 00:15:37,850
Yes, sir. Actually, he is deaf.

214
00:15:38,480 --> 00:15:41,006
Oh. Thank you.

215
00:15:41,200 --> 00:15:45,842
Now drop down, give me 25 more
for speakin’ out of line!

216
00:15:47,760 --> 00:15:51,890
- One, sir.
- I'm sorry, Mr Handicapped Man.

217
00:15:52,080 --> 00:15:55,527
I didn't mean to offend you.
Do you speak sign language?

218
00:15:55,720 --> 00:15:58,371
Can you read lips?
Let me break it down.

219
00:15:58,560 --> 00:16:03,043
If you don't answer me when I speak to you,

220
00:16:03,240 --> 00:16:07,290
I'm gonna put my foot in your ass!
Is that clear, dummy?

221
00:16:07,480 --> 00:16:09,608
Sir, yes, sir.

222
00:16:11,400 --> 00:16:13,368
Hold on, guys. Wait!

223
00:16:15,600 --> 00:16:18,888
Wait. Hey, guys! Don't start without me!

224
00:16:19,080 --> 00:16:21,686
Come on! Wait, hold on.

225
00:16:22,280 --> 00:16:24,123
Coming.

226
00:16:26,440 --> 00:16:29,364
Hello, gorgeous. Welcome to my party.

227
00:16:30,040 --> 00:16:33,965
You know, you're out of uniform there,
Mr. Fonzarelli.

228
00:16:34,160 --> 00:16:38,290
Well, I like this look better,
General. Admiral, whatever.

229
00:16:38,480 --> 00:16:41,051
It's Major, buy.

230
00:16:43,120 --> 00:16:47,170
Looks like we got another major
on our hands here, guys!

231
00:16:47,360 --> 00:16:50,330
[all giggling] Uh-oh! Major! Ooh, Major!

232
00:16:56,880 --> 00:17:00,168
What's your name, girlie-mouth?

233
00:17:01,200 --> 00:17:03,965
Cadet Alex Stone, sir! Yes, sir!

234
00:17:04,160 --> 00:17:06,128
Hey-ho, sir!

235
00:17:10,040 --> 00:17:15,001
I'm glad to see you got a sense of humour.
So do I.

236
00:17:15,200 --> 00:17:17,043
Heh-heh-heh (!)

237
00:17:23,360 --> 00:17:27,206
From now on, my little group
of scrotum sacs,

238
00:17:27,400 --> 00:17:30,085
you will strive to be like me.

239
00:17:30,280 --> 00:17:34,729
You will walk like me, talk like me

240
00:17:34,920 --> 00:17:36,968
and until you win those games,

241
00:17:37,160 --> 00:17:40,767
you will be bald like me!

242
00:17:42,280 --> 00:17:46,922
- Way to go this time, Alex
- Dotson, take these men for 2 hours of PT!

243
00:17:47,120 --> 00:17:50,647
Yes, sir! First exercise
will be the side straddle hop!

244
00:17:51,680 --> 00:17:55,401
Squad ready. Exercise, one, two, three!

245
00:17:55,600 --> 00:17:57,921
Come on, bacon-boy! Come on!

246
00:18:01,840 --> 00:18:05,970
- [Dotson] Ready, squad!
- [buy] Why don't you sit down and shut up?

247
00:18:06,160 --> 00:18:09,528
[Dotson] I'm writin' you up, buddy!
That's it, no more of this!

248
00:18:09,720 --> 00:18:10,960
[boy] You're scaring me!

249
00:18:16,040 --> 00:18:17,769
Hello, Miss Walburn.

250
00:18:18,880 --> 00:18:22,362
Major Payne, could you please
help me to understand

251
00:18:22,560 --> 00:18:25,484
why you shaved the children bald?

252
00:18:25,680 --> 00:18:28,809
Oh, that’s my little incentive programme.

253
00:18:29,000 --> 00:18:31,571
These boys have to earn their due.

254
00:18:31,760 --> 00:18:34,491
Their hairdo, that is. Hee-hee-hee.

255
00:18:36,880 --> 00:18:40,327
Do they have to earn
their bathroom privileges, too?

256
00:18:45,400 --> 00:18:48,768
What do you want, Mr Pee-body?

257
00:18:48,960 --> 00:18:53,887
He's upset about this morning.
Apparently he had a little accident.

258
00:18:54,440 --> 00:18:58,286
Apparently he pissed
all over the front of his pants.

259
00:18:58,480 --> 00:19:01,051
Well, maybe that's because he's six

260
00:19:01,240 --> 00:19:05,723
'Cause he's six? Woman, when I was s
I had a full-time job.

261
00:19:07,080 --> 00:19:11,608
Well, I told him that you have
something that you'd like to say to him.

262
00:19:22,760 --> 00:19:25,331
You think I owe you an apology?

263
00:19:26,840 --> 00:19:32,290
Want me to take back some of those
mean and hurtful little things I said?

264
00:19:34,080 --> 00:19:35,491
OK.

265
00:19:35,680 --> 00:19:37,967
I'm sorry you're just a little turd

266
00:19:38,160 --> 00:19:40,845
that can't hold your liquid out in public

267
00:19:41,040 --> 00:19:46,001
New get outta my face before I pick
you up and toss you out that window!

268
00:19:51,800 --> 00:19:55,771
Major, have you ever done
this kind of work before?

269
00:19:56,360 --> 00:19:59,011
Woman, under this here hat

270
00:19:59,200 --> 00:20:04,764
I've trained 20,432 combat killin' machines.

271
00:20:06,200 --> 00:20:08,123
Well, that's just my point.

272
00:20:08,320 --> 00:20:13,121
Now you're dealing with children,
and children have special needs.

273
00:20:13,320 --> 00:20:16,085
Do you know what
positive reinforcement means?

274
00:20:16,280 --> 00:20:20,444
Like when you take a PoW
and snap his neck after you torture him

275
00:20:20,640 --> 00:20:24,087
so he don't have to go through life
with a colostomy bag?

276
00:20:26,080 --> 00:20:27,844
Sort cf.

277
00:20:29,440 --> 00:20:32,842
I'd like to make a suggestion.

278
00:20:33,040 --> 00:20:35,930
Why don't you and I become partners

279
00:20:36,120 --> 00:20:40,091
In the emotional growth and development
of these little ones?

280
00:20:41,120 --> 00:20:43,407
What do you say?

281
00:20:45,400 --> 00:20:48,802
Gen you be my big helper
and help me do that?

282
00:20:51,400 --> 00:20:54,085
[baby voice] Yes.

283
00:20:54,280 --> 00:20:56,169
Good.

284
00:21:01,920 --> 00:21:04,969
Why do I feel like a jackass?

285
00:21:05,160 --> 00:21:07,686
[children giggling]

286
00:21:08,000 --> 00:21:10,765
[boy] Look at that baldie!

287
00:21:13,520 --> 00:21:17,002
Your head's shaped like a bowling ball!

288
00:21:21,320 --> 00:21:27,123
Nazi, fascist pig! I know where I'll shave
him! Damn Major Payne!

289
00:21:27,320 --> 00:21:29,322
Didn't want you to be my brother!

290
00:21:29,520 --> 00:21:33,764
Most of the body heat
travels through the head. I’ll get sick

291
00:21:33,960 --> 00:21:36,042
And if I'm sick I throw up.

292
00:21:36,240 --> 00:21:38,891
That damn Payne’s already
getting on my nerves.

293
00:21:39,080 --> 00:21:42,607
Turd this, turd that.
Who the hell does he think he is?

294
00:21:42,800 --> 00:21:46,646
- Just shut up.
- You tellin' me to shut up?

295
00:21:46,840 --> 00:21:51,129
Shut your damn mouth and stop eatin’
all that damn candy, you fat pig.

296
00:21:53,920 --> 00:21:57,242
I look like Curly
from The Three Stooges.

297
00:21:58,280 --> 00:22:00,726
Did I say you could touch my bed?

298
00:22:00,920 --> 00:22:03,764
- No.
- Then get off.

299
00:22:04,240 --> 00:22:05,765
Owl

300
00:22:07,000 --> 00:22:10,686
Payne's gonna kill us.
You know I have a heart condition.

301
00:22:10,880 --> 00:22:13,645
I'm not sure he's familiar with my medical history

302
00:22:13,840 --> 00:22:18,243
Let’s go, let's go! Come on, move it!
Saddle up that horsey and ride!

303
00:22:18,840 --> 00:22:20,763
You ever hear of knocking, Dotson?

304
00:22:21,720 --> 00:22:25,520
You won't have to worry about that.
I have good news for you, assholes.

305
00:22:25,720 --> 00:22:31,011
- Pack your bedding and your kit! Let’s go!
- Where to?

306
00:22:32,880 --> 00:22:37,681
Hello, cue balls!
Welcome to the house of Payne.

307
00:22:38,920 --> 00:22:43,448
- Gotta be kidding.
- A squad that lives together wins together.

308
00:22:44,480 --> 00:22:50,089
Unity, turds.
That is the key word in "unit", without the Y.

309
00:22:51,120 --> 00:22:56,570
Tiger, Leland,
you will reside at the ROTC buildin'.

310
00:22:56,760 --> 00:23:01,448
The rest of you garbage,
grab a rack and settle in.

311
00:23:01,640 --> 00:23:04,371
Let’s move out.

312
00:23:04,560 --> 00:23:09,282
Eyeball me again, I'll snatch it out
and put it in Heathcoats cookie bag.

313
00:23:09,480 --> 00:23:13,963
- It’s so damp. What about my allergies?
- You know how far away the kitchen is?

314
00:23:14,160 --> 00:23:17,004
-Why can't I stay?
- 'Cause I said so.

315
00:23:17,200 --> 00:23:20,602
- Major Payne, sir.
- What?

316
00:23:21,720 --> 00:23:27,363
Sir, I think I speak for everyone when I say
that this place is unacceptable, sir.

317
00:23:27,560 --> 00:23:29,130
[general agreement]

318
00:23:30,960 --> 00:23:32,803
Really?

319
00:23:33,480 --> 00:23:38,088
- Love my barracks night and day - Love my barracks night and day

320
00:23:38,280 --> 00:23:43,286
I - Won'! complain that's where I'll stay
- Won'! complain that's where I'll stay I

321
00:23:46,000 --> 00:23:48,970
- Good plan this time, Alex
- Shut up.

322
00:23:49,160 --> 00:23:51,686
All right, my little patch of Brussels sprouts,

323
00:23:51,880 --> 00:23:56,408
uproot yourselves, climb out the pool,
get some rest. You'll need it.

324
00:23:57,640 --> 00:24:02,407
Tomorrow, ladies,
we gonna start the hard stuff.

325
00:24:03,000 --> 00:24:04,729
The hard stuff?

326
00:24:04,920 --> 00:24:06,570
[thunder]

327
00:24:06,760 --> 00:24:11,209
Let’s move it, you turds!
You'll get no sympathy from me!

328
00:24:11,400 --> 00:24:15,644
You want sympathy, look in the
dictionary between shit and syphilis

329
00:24:15,840 --> 00:24:17,968
That's where you'll End my sympathy

330
00:24:18,160 --> 00:24:22,370
This ain't no walk in the park
Move it! Hustle, hustle

331
00:24:22,560 --> 00:24:27,009
Hey, Dumbo! You should be flying through
those tubes with them big—ass ears I

332
00:24:27,200 --> 00:24:30,170
Yeah, Dumbo! Fly, baby, fly!

333
00:24:30,360 --> 00:24:35,651
Williams! Tell Marlee Matlin's son
if he don't get across that rope,

334
00:24:35,840 --> 00:24:38,491
- I'll hang him with it!
- He'll hang you with it!

335
00:24:39,080 --> 00:24:41,003
Heathcoat!

336
00:24:41,560 --> 00:24:44,689
You get your fat body over that wall!

337
00:24:44,880 --> 00:24:48,487
- Take your fat, pork-chop
- You shut up.

338
00:24:48,680 --> 00:24:53,846
Nobody's leavin' until the average
for this squad is one minute 20 seconds!

339
00:24:54,040 --> 00:24:57,522
Come on, he can't do it! Leave him alone.

340
00:24:57,720 --> 00:25:00,724
I can barely do it. It's slippery out here.

341
00:25:01,400 --> 00:25:06,042
Slippery, he say! You think Charlie
care anything about slippery?

342
00:25:06,240 --> 00:25:10,564
All he knows is slit your throat.
What if this was a life-or-death situation?

343
00:25:10,760 --> 00:25:13,411
But it’s not a life-or-death situation.

344
00:25:14,840 --> 00:25:16,808
It is now.

345
00:25:17,000 --> 00:25:20,641
One Mississippi. Two Mississippi.

346
00:25:20,840 --> 00:25:25,767
Come on, guys! What, are you crazy?
It's just a dummy grenade.

347
00:25:37,240 --> 00:25:39,368
Who’s the dummy now?

348
00:25:41,800 --> 00:25:44,963
- So what is it, exactly? Concentrated thiamine.

349
00:25:45,160 --> 00:25:48,004
- What the hell is that?
- It's a super-laxative.

350
00:25:48,200 --> 00:25:51,886
This here'll pack enough punch
to take out an entire football team.

351
00:25:52,080 --> 00:25:57,166
Payne’ll never get off the can.
He’ll be makin’ beef stool till graduation.

352
00:25:58,640 --> 00:26:00,722
Payne'll never knew what hit him.

353
00:26:07,320 --> 00:26:09,288
[{]]]]]

354
00:26:24,400 --> 00:26:29,486
- Major Payne, sir?
- Can't you see I'm eatin', turd?

355
00:26:30,520 --> 00:26:32,648
There’s a call for you, sir.

356
00:27:09,520 --> 00:27:11,841
He's coming! He's coming!

357
00:27:50,840 --> 00:27:52,365
Mm.

358
00:27:53,400 --> 00:27:55,687
Mmm. Mm-mm.

359
00:28:03,120 --> 00:28:04,451
[a gurgle]

360
00:28:08,320 --> 00:28:11,051
[liquid gurgling]

361
00:28:23,520 --> 00:28:25,045
Hm.

362
00:28:38,520 --> 00:28:40,488
[breaking wind]

363
00:28:48,400 --> 00:28:51,131
Damn! He nearly put you in a coma.

364
00:28:51,320 --> 00:28:55,530
It can't be legal the way he's been treating us. Let's just tell Phillips.

365
00:28:55,720 --> 00:28:59,486
Nah, that senile old fool ain’t gonna help us.

366
00:29:00,520 --> 00:29:04,764
What kind of shootin' is that? Hey, dummy!
What’s the matter, you can't see, either?

367
00:29:05,480 --> 00:29:10,247
We gotta get rid of that
son of a bitch. Listen...

368
00:29:10,440 --> 00:29:15,571
..we're gonna have to prove
that Payne did something so vile,

369
00:29:15,760 --> 00:29:19,810
so perverse, so disgusting...

370
00:29:22,200 --> 00:29:26,330
..that Phillips will have no choice
but to tire him.

371
00:29:30,120 --> 00:29:31,610
Like what?

372
00:29:35,600 --> 00:29:39,730
- Why me?
- Because you have gut the biggest tits.

373
00:29:39,920 --> 00:29:42,526
- [laughter]
- Sh...sh.

374
00:29:46,000 --> 00:29:49,243
- Why not Wuligar?
- Wuligar's gotta take the pictures.

375
00:29:52,160 --> 00:29:53,969
[snoring]

376
00:30:05,280 --> 00:30:08,409
It’s been four hours. He hasn’t blinked.

377
00:30:08,600 --> 00:30:12,605
I’m telling you, these Special Forces guys
can sleep with their eyes open.

378
00:30:12,800 --> 00:30:15,087
Trust me.

379
00:30:16,720 --> 00:30:20,042
- What happened to the other dress?
- This one’s prettier.

380
00:30:20,240 --> 00:30:21,526
[sniggering]

381
00:30:21,720 --> 00:30:25,406
- Shut up, Brian I
Williams, go.

382
00:30:30,520 --> 00:30:34,889
Man, you sure about this?
He looks awake to me.

383
00:30:35,080 --> 00:30:37,162
No, I checked on that.

384
00:30:38,400 --> 00:30:42,405
Watch this. Yo, turd—sniffer. Maggot—face!

385
00:30:42,600 --> 00:30:44,762
See? He's dead to the world.

386
00:30:44,960 --> 00:30:46,644
Let’s go.

387
00:30:54,560 --> 00:30:57,484
- Get in.
- Can't I just stand beside the bed?

388
00:30:57,680 --> 00:31:00,081
Get in.

389
00:31:03,920 --> 00:31:06,571
Get ml

390
00:31:10,600 --> 00:31:14,047
- Now put your head on his shoulder.
- Are you crazy?

391
00:31:14,240 --> 00:31:15,844
Do it!

392
00:31:18,520 --> 00:31:20,488
Closer.

393
00:31:22,560 --> 00:31:25,530
Closer.

394
00:31:25,720 --> 00:31:29,327
Now, now put your arm around him.

395
00:31:31,080 --> 00:31:34,562
Good. Now hold it. Hold it.

396
00:31:34,760 --> 00:31:36,967
OK.

397
00:31:43,720 --> 00:31:46,200
Hello, Betty.

398
00:31:46,400 --> 00:31:48,164
[all scream]

399
00:31:55,400 --> 00:32:00,486
- Got no worry, got no stress - Got no worry, got no stress

400
00:32:00,680 --> 00:32:06,323
- Cause feel good in a dress
- Cause we feel good in a dress

401
00:32:06,520 --> 00:32:11,811
- Major Payne's a major dis - Major Payne's a major dis

402
00:32:12,000 --> 00:32:17,325
- Makes us squat when we piss - Makes us squat when we piss

403
00:32:17,520 --> 00:32:22,606
- Got no worries, got no care - Got no worries, got no care

404
00:32:22,800 --> 00:32:28,170
[repeat] # I'm just a bald-headed
son of a bitch without hair

405
00:32:28,360 --> 00:32:33,366
- Used to be Samson, now I'm Ann - Used to be Samson, now I'm Ann

406
00:32:33,560 --> 00:32:38,726
# -Gotta earn my right to be called a man
-Gotta earn my right to be called a man#

407
00:32:38,920 --> 00:32:43,926
I’ll tell you, ladies, you’re the purtiest unit
ever underneath my command I

408
00:32:44,120 --> 00:32:47,886
Maybe I'll have to change my name
to Pimp Daddy Payne!

409
00:32:49,080 --> 00:32:50,730
[Miss Walburn] Major!

410
00:32:52,760 --> 00:32:56,845
- What are the boys doing in those dresses?
- Puttin' on a fashion show.

411
00:32:57,040 --> 00:32:59,884
[mocking laughter]

412
00:33:02,840 --> 00:33:07,368
I thought we had a little talk
about this kind of negative reinforcement.

413
00:33:07,560 --> 00:33:10,962
Weren't you gonna be my big helper'?

414
00:33:11,160 --> 00:33:13,208
Yeah, but they started it.

415
00:33:13,400 --> 00:33:16,563
-Well, I'm stopping it.
- Don't touch my whistle.

416
00:33:16,760 --> 00:33:21,243
- I was just gonna...
- Don't touch the whistle.

417
00:33:23,600 --> 00:33:28,811
All right, ladies! Take off those dresses.
Head to your barracks. Fold 'em up neatly.

418
00:33:29,000 --> 00:33:31,367
Let’s move it.

419
00:33:35,160 --> 00:33:37,447
Good day, Miss Walburn.

420
00:33:38,760 --> 00:33:43,482
Do you really think this approach is the best
way to gain the trust of these boys?

421
00:33:43,680 --> 00:33:46,365
They may not like me but they will respect me.

422
00:33:46,560 --> 00:33:50,007
Let me be more direct. They hate you.

423
00:33:50,200 --> 00:33:54,444
Good. It'll draw them close together,
make 'em a team.

424
00:33:54,640 --> 00:33:59,009
- That's a very cynical plan.
- Yeah, but it won't backfire.

425
00:33:59,200 --> 00:34:03,285
Here. I would like you to consider
an alternative approach.

426
00:34:03,920 --> 00:34:08,403
I want you to have this book
Read it, apply it.

427
00:34:10,200 --> 00:34:15,240
The ABCs of the Loving Male Role Model.
I don't need your book

428
00:34:15,440 --> 00:34:18,649
- Take it.
- I don't want it.

429
00:34:18,840 --> 00:34:21,002
Please, Major'?

430
00:34:27,160 --> 00:34:28,400
OK.

431
00:34:38,040 --> 00:34:40,884
[mocking laughter]

432
00:34:41,080 --> 00:34:43,048
Shut up.

433
00:34:43,240 --> 00:34:47,848
- I got a plan to get rid of that son of a bitch.
-What is it?

434
00:34:48,040 --> 00:34:51,362
- It's gonna cost us. How much you got?
- Twenty.

435
00:34:51,560 --> 00:34:55,201
-I got 25.
- Put me down for 40.

436
00:34:58,040 --> 00:35:01,123
- All right, we're takin' out Payne tomorrow!
- Yeah

437
00:35:05,560 --> 00:35:09,201
"Love is the key to understanding."

438
00:35:26,400 --> 00:35:28,448
"Bee a good listener."

439
00:35:28,640 --> 00:35:32,247
"Bee sensitive to their needs."

440
00:35:33,360 --> 00:35:35,886
Well, hello, Miss Walburn.

441
00:35:36,080 --> 00:35:39,402
just came by to let you know
Wuligar has a slight temperature

442
00:35:39,600 --> 00:35:42,809
so you might not want
to torture him this evening.

443
00:35:44,840 --> 00:35:49,528
I will be...sensitive...to his needs.

444
00:35:51,480 --> 00:35:54,051
Have you been reading the book'?

445
00:35:54,240 --> 00:35:56,720
I might have glanced at it once or twice.

446
00:35:57,560 --> 00:36:00,484
Oh, well, that's very good!
I'm very proud of you, Major.

447
00:36:00,680 --> 00:36:02,921
Oh, it ain't hard bein' sensitive.

448
00:36:03,920 --> 00:36:06,605
- He's back! He's back!
- Who's back'?

449
00:36:06,800 --> 00:36:08,962
The man who lives in my closet.

450
00:36:09,520 --> 00:36:14,651
Boy, get on outta here with that
"I'm scared of the dark' crap. Go on, get!

451
00:36:14,840 --> 00:36:17,207
Sensitive.

452
00:36:21,320 --> 00:36:23,971
Sensitive.

453
00:36:26,960 --> 00:36:31,090
Hello, there, fella.
You know what you're havin'?

454
00:36:31,280 --> 00:36:35,524
It’s called a nightmare.
You know what a nightmare is?

455
00:36:36,200 --> 00:36:38,646
Well, that's all this is.

456
00:36:39,280 --> 00:36:41,328
Now, you run back to your room

457
00:36:41,520 --> 00:36:46,003
before that man jump out the closet
and chop your little head off.

458
00:36:50,000 --> 00:36:52,002
Sensitive.

459
00:36:52,880 --> 00:36:55,645
You call that being sensitive?

460
00:36:55,840 --> 00:37:01,006
Let me give you a little history on Kevin
Dunne. Both of his parents are dead.

461
00:37:01,200 --> 00:37:03,487
Oar accident, 1989.

462
00:37:03,680 --> 00:37:07,605
Lived in the Chelsea orphanage
till 1991 when the school adopted him.

463
00:37:07,800 --> 00:37:09,564
I know all about it.

464
00:37:09,760 --> 00:37:13,651
Then you should also know
that the last thing he needs right now

465
00:37:13,840 --> 00:37:17,765
is a sadistic father figure scarring the life out of him.

466
00:37:18,920 --> 00:37:20,843
Maybe what he need

467
00:37:21,040 --> 00:37:25,409
is for you to pop your titty out his mouth
and let the buy grow up.

468
00:37:26,800 --> 00:37:29,804
Excuse me? What did you say?

469
00:37:30,000 --> 00:37:31,889
I didn't stutter.

470
00:37:32,080 --> 00:37:37,325
I said "Pop your titty out his mouth

471
00:37:37,520 --> 00:37:40,046
and stop babyin' him!"

472
00:37:40,240 --> 00:37:43,926
I don't call it babying, I call it nurturing.

473
00:37:44,120 --> 00:37:46,851
And I call it neutering.

474
00:37:47,440 --> 00:37:50,922
And I call you an insecure,
overbearing, psychopathic,

475
00:37:51,120 --> 00:37:54,363
dictatorial, egomaniacal I, frigid,
lunatic asshole!

476
00:37:56,600 --> 00:37:58,648
I ain't frigid.

477
00:37:59,280 --> 00:38:01,442
He's still there!

478
00:38:03,720 --> 00:38:06,405
You wanna sea nurturin'?

479
00:38:18,040 --> 00:38:20,008
He's in there?

480
00:38:26,360 --> 00:38:29,603
- If he's still there, he ain't happy.
- What was that'?

481
00:38:29,800 --> 00:38:34,601
Major Payne just terminated that bad man
with extreme prejudice!

482
00:38:35,640 --> 00:38:38,849
And if he's still in there, he ain't happy!

483
00:38:41,840 --> 00:38:47,006
You run on back to bed. That bad man
ain't gonna bother you no more.

484
00:38:47,200 --> 00:38:49,248
Thank you, Major.

485
00:38:49,880 --> 00:38:52,008
I love you.

486
00:39:00,240 --> 00:39:03,847
- What's your angle? You plottin' on me?
- No, sir!

487
00:39:04,040 --> 00:39:08,921
- I can snap your neck in 20 places!
- Major, Major! It's OK!

488
00:39:09,120 --> 00:39:11,600
He's just trying to show you some affection.

489
00:39:14,280 --> 00:39:16,567
I don't like it.

490
00:39:16,760 --> 00:39:19,730
Make me feel all funny.

491
00:39:30,920 --> 00:39:34,845
- Good night, Miss Walburn.
- Good night, Major.

492
00:39:46,960 --> 00:39:50,123
- Where is he?
- He'd better get here.

493
00:39:50,320 --> 00:39:52,527
Alex!

494
00:39:53,400 --> 00:39:54,731
[horn]

495
00:39:59,080 --> 00:40:02,050
- Did you do it?
- How much did it cost?

496
00:40:02,240 --> 00:40:04,368
I did it. I did it.

497
00:40:04,560 --> 00:40:08,281
Squad! Attention

498
00:40:10,960 --> 00:40:13,247
Let’s go, maggots. Follow my lead

499
00:40:13,440 --> 00:40:17,809
# - Payne's not here, he's in our ass
- Payne's not here, he's in our ass

500
00:40:18,000 --> 00:40:22,164
# - Butt's so tight he can't pass gas
- Butt's so tight he can't pass gas

501
00:40:22,360 --> 00:40:24,169
- Sound off
-o :3

502
00:40:24,360 --> 00:40:26,249
- Sound off :: four

503
00:40:26,440 --> 00:40:28,681
# Break it on down

504
00:40:28,880 --> 00:40:32,202
Break it on down, break it on down

505
00:40:40,880 --> 00:40:43,929
You like to rhyme, boy?

506
00:40:44,320 --> 00:40:46,971
What's your name? Bushwick Bill?

507
00:40:47,160 --> 00:40:49,731
No, let me guess. You Snoop Diggety Dogg.

508
00:40:50,800 --> 00:40:54,088
Turds! Front-leanin’ rest position. Move!

509
00:40:54,280 --> 00:40:58,569
I'm gonna teach you 
how I rhyme military style!

510
00:40:59,840 --> 00:41:01,649
One!

511
00:41:01,840 --> 00:41:04,047
Don't you feel dumb?

512
00:41:04,240 --> 00:41:07,642
Two! Look at you.

513
00:41:08,520 --> 00:41:13,287
Three. Don't you ever make no jokes 
about me behind my back

514
00:41:13,480 --> 00:41:15,960
otherwise I stomp you in the ground!

515
00:41:34,680 --> 00:41:37,331
All right, ladies.

516
00:41:38,360 --> 00:41:41,967
Hey, Dunne. You missed all the fun.

517
00:41:42,160 --> 00:41:44,731
That's another rhyme.

518
00:41:44,920 --> 00:41:49,323
All right, we're headin' out to the held 
for two hours of weapons drill.

519
00:41:50,120 --> 00:41:52,282
Yo, Payne!

520
00:41:56,920 --> 00:41:58,729
You Payne?

521
00:41:58,920 --> 00:42:01,366
I gut somethin' to say to you.

522
00:42:02,520 --> 00:42:04,522
Fee-fi-fo-fum.

523
00:42:04,720 --> 00:42:08,645
What beanstalk you fall from?

524
00:42:20,200 --> 00:42:22,931
I heard you've been givin' these boys 
a hard time.

525
00:42:23,560 --> 00:42:28,202
In fact, I heard you couldn't cut it 
in the real man's military

526
00:42:28,680 --> 00:42:32,730
- I heard that it’s time for you to leave. 
- Yeah

527
00:42:33,960 --> 00:42:35,610
Know what I heard?

528
00:42:35,800 --> 00:42:40,567
I heard your mother was so fat 
she played pool with the planets.

529
00:42:46,520 --> 00:42:49,364
You thinkin' about leaving yet?

530
00:42:51,080 --> 00:42:55,130
Actually, I think the party just begun.

531
00:42:58,960 --> 00:43:04,285
What I’m gonna do is take this right foot and put it across the left side of your face.

532
00:43:04,480 --> 00:43:07,484
Don't give me that Billy Jack bullshit!

533
00:43:16,000 --> 00:43:19,607
You said you were gonna
hit me in the face!

534
00:43:19,800 --> 00:43:22,451
What, you callin' me a liar?

535
00:43:30,400 --> 00:43:33,324
Oh, children.

536
00:43:33,520 --> 00:43:37,764
Somebody's gonna answer 
for this blood from my lip.

537
00:43:38,680 --> 00:43:40,682
I want names.

538
00:43:40,880 --> 00:43:44,248
I wanna know who's responsible.

539
00:43:46,000 --> 00:43:49,288
Don't all run at once.

540
00:43:49,480 --> 00:43:52,211
I guess nobody's responsible.

541
00:43:52,400 --> 00:43:56,007
Guess I just had that one a—comm.

542
00:43:57,040 --> 00:44:00,283
Well, you know what y'all got comin'?

543
00:44:00,480 --> 00:44:05,646
Seven 23-hour days 
full of fun and adventure.

544
00:44:06,800 --> 00:44:10,247
I'm gonna make you boys strong!

545
00:44:11,120 --> 00:44:13,487
Sir.

546
00:44:13,680 --> 00:44:15,967
Yes, turd?

547
00:44:16,520 --> 00:44:21,845
- It was me, sir. I hired him. 
- Well, that’s one death warrant signed.

548
00:44:22,040 --> 00:44:27,809
Do I have any more volunteers? 
What about you, brown-nose?

549
00:44:28,800 --> 00:44:33,681
I acted alone, sir. The rest of the squad 
was unaware of my activities.

550
00:44:36,560 --> 00:44:40,201
That’s a pretty bold move there, Mr Stone.

551
00:44:41,160 --> 00:44:44,084
What do you think I oughta do with you?

552
00:44:44,280 --> 00:44:49,446
- I don't know, sir. 
- You don't know.

553
00:44:50,520 --> 00:44:53,285
I guess you should probably expel me, sir.

554
00:44:53,960 --> 00:44:56,964
What, and send you on a vacation?

555
00:44:58,160 --> 00:45:00,242
- Dotson 
- Sir, yes, sir!

556
00:45:00,440 --> 00:45:02,681
You are no longer the squad leader.

557
00:45:03,800 --> 00:45:07,771
Stone. You are now cadet sergeant.

558
00:45:08,800 --> 00:45:11,485
If these men win 
the Virginia Military Games,

559
00:45:11,680 --> 00:45:15,810
it'll be because 
you have led them to a victory.

560
00:45:16,000 --> 00:45:20,767
If they lose, it'll be because you failed them.

561
00:45:23,480 --> 00:45:27,007
- I don't accept that responsibility. 
- It's not negotiable.

562
00:45:32,920 --> 00:45:37,562
If I’m the new squad leader, I my first order is to screw you, sin

563
00:45:37,760 --> 00:45:39,569
What'd you say to me, turd?

564
00:45:39,760 --> 00:45:44,129
Why don't you go back to hell, 
where you came from?

565
00:45:44,320 --> 00:45:47,244
Boy, I am two seconds from bein' on you

566
00:45:47,440 --> 00:45:51,161
like white on rice on a par plate
in a snowstorm I

567
00:45:51,360 --> 00:45:54,011
I will put my foot so far up your ass

568
00:45:54,200 --> 00:45:57,249
the water on my knee will quench your thirst

569
00:45:57,440 --> 00:45:59,204
Try it.

570
00:46:04,800 --> 00:46:08,725
- You want me gone, boy? 
- Yes, sir.

571
00:46:08,920 --> 00:46:11,685
I said, "Do you want me gone, soldier'?"

572
00:46:11,880 --> 00:46:13,928
Yes, sir!

573
00:46:14,120 --> 00:46:19,365
Then you meet me 
outside the ROTC buildin' at 2100 hours.

574
00:46:19,560 --> 00:46:23,724
You ladies want me gone, 
you'll get your chance.

575
00:46:46,040 --> 00:46:50,489
Where is the first-place trophy 
from the Virginia Military Games?

576
00:46:50,680 --> 00:46:52,603
Wellington Academy, sir!

577
00:46:54,200 --> 00:46:56,441
I want that trophy.

578
00:46:57,320 --> 00:47:03,282
If you turds can bring me that trophy,
I will resign my command.

579
00:47:03,760 --> 00:47:05,922
This is a black op, gentlemen.

580
00:47:06,120 --> 00:47:10,921
If you are discovered, 
I will deny all knowledge

581
00:47:11,120 --> 00:47:13,771
and you will pay the price.

582
00:47:14,800 --> 00:47:17,167
That is my deal.

583
00:47:18,200 --> 00:47:20,009
Do you accept it?

584
00:47:24,280 --> 00:47:26,965
Sir, yes, sir.

585
00:47:28,480 --> 00:47:31,404
Then bring me my trophy.

586
00:47:47,400 --> 00:47:50,643
All right, this is our big chance 
to get rid of Payne.

587
00:47:50,840 --> 00:47:55,050
Two miles to Wellington. 
Let's get it outta there as fast as we can.

588
00:47:55,240 --> 00:47:58,642
Let's hustle, move it! Go! Go, go!

589
00:47:58,840 --> 00:48:03,289
- This is your last chance, Dotson. 
- You think I'd help you make me look bad?

590
00:48:03,480 --> 00:48:09,169
I Anyway, I've called my dad. I’m leavin’ this stupid school. Bye, have a good time

591
00:48:11,960 --> 00:48:14,361
- Where you goin'? 
- The black op.

592
00:48:14,560 --> 00:48:19,566
You can't come, you're too little. Why don't 
you stay here and guard the base?

593
00:48:30,760 --> 00:48:33,240
[Tiger crying]

594
00:48:41,240 --> 00:48:43,368
What’s the matter with you, boy?

595
00:48:43,560 --> 00:48:47,406
They won't let me go on no black op.
They say I’m too little.

596
00:48:47,600 --> 00:48:50,570
No one lets you do anything 
when you're too little.

597
00:48:50,920 --> 00:48:52,888
Ah, phooly!

598
00:48:53,080 --> 00:48:56,766
What about all those stories about 
the little people that do big things?

599
00:48:56,960 --> 00:49:00,567
Like Little Red Riding Hood, 
them three little pigs.

600
00:49:00,760 --> 00:49:04,082
Spike Lee, or them Little Rascals.

601
00:49:04,280 --> 00:49:07,727
You ever hear the story 
about the Little Engine That Could?

602
00:49:10,720 --> 00:49:12,768
Let me tell you that story.

603
00:49:17,440 --> 00:49:21,764
Once upon a time, deep, deep in the jungle,

604
00:49:21,960 --> 00:49:24,770
there was a Little Engine That Could.

605
00:49:24,960 --> 00:49:27,804
Ha was chuggin' his way 
across the enemy line.

606
00:49:28,000 --> 00:49:30,207
[makes chugging sound]

607
00:49:30,400 --> 00:49:32,209
Tout-toot!

608
00:49:32,400 --> 00:49:36,644
This little engine's mission 
was to take some AK-47s

609
00:49:36,840 --> 00:49:42,165
and a nuclear payload 
over the mountain to the 2063 Battalion.

610
00:49:42,360 --> 00:49:46,888
Needless to say, 
there was plenty opposition.

611
00:49:47,640 --> 00:49:49,881
Did that stop the Little Engine That Could?

612
00:49:50,080 --> 00:49:53,562
No, siree, Bob. He just kept chuggin' along.

613
00:49:53,760 --> 00:49:56,604
[makes train engine sounds]

614
00:49:56,800 --> 00:49:59,041
Tout-toot!

615
00:49:59,240 --> 00:50:01,447
Nut even when they climbed 
aboard the train

616
00:50:01,640 --> 00:50:03,768
and popped out the eyes of the conductor,

617
00:50:03,960 --> 00:50:06,930
and blood and snot 
was drippin' out his eye sockets.

618
00:50:07,120 --> 00:50:10,329
Did that stop the Little Engine That Could?

619
00:50:10,760 --> 00:50:14,287
Damn skippy. He just kept chuggin' along.

620
00:50:14,480 --> 00:50:16,960
[train engine sounds]

621
00:50:17,160 --> 00:50:19,481
Tout-toot!

622
00:50:21,320 --> 00:50:26,929
It wasn't until Charlie rigged a bridge 
with plastic explosives

623
00:50:27,120 --> 00:50:31,284
just as the Little Engine
was makin’ his across the trestle.

624
00:50:31,480 --> 00:50:32,811
Boom!

625
00:50:33,000 --> 00:50:38,006
An explosion happened. And blood and guts 
and spit and ass was everywhere.

626
00:50:38,200 --> 00:50:43,001
And Bubba come crawlin' out 
the back door, both legs missin'.

627
00:50:43,920 --> 00:50:46,127
Lula May's baby boy!

628
00:50:46,760 --> 00:50:50,765
He look up at me, he said, "Payne,

629
00:50:50,960 --> 00:50:54,089
I can't feel my legs."

630
00:50:54,280 --> 00:50:56,726
I said, "Bubba, they ain't there."

631
00:50:57,880 --> 00:51:03,410
And I looked down, and them little bloody nubs was kickin’ real fast, like this here]

632
00:51:03,600 --> 00:51:07,730
And I said, 
"Bubba, ifs 30 miles to the nearest town."

633
00:51:07,920 --> 00:51:12,687
"Unless you Hip upside down and walk 
on your hands, you ain't gonna make it."

634
00:51:12,880 --> 00:51:16,248
All of a sudden,
Charlie was all over the place!

635
00:51:16,440 --> 00:51:18,966
It was just me and my side-arm.

636
00:51:19,160 --> 00:51:24,929
And I had no other alternative 
but to blast my way out.

637
00:51:25,920 --> 00:51:28,400
[blood-curdling screams]

638
00:51:28,600 --> 00:51:33,527
"Die, pig, die! You'll never take 
Major Benson Winifred Payne alive!"

639
00:51:34,560 --> 00:51:37,166
"I saw what you did to my friend!"

640
00:51:37,560 --> 00:51:40,404
Major! Major! Major!

641
00:51:42,920 --> 00:51:45,048
Hello, Miss Walburn.

642
00:51:45,240 --> 00:51:47,641
You just missed a little bedtime story.

643
00:51:49,200 --> 00:51:51,726
No, I didn't, actually.

644
00:51:52,920 --> 00:51:56,811
In fact, I'd love to talk 
to you about that story.

645
00:51:58,040 --> 00:52:00,042
Perhaps over dinner'?

646
00:52:03,040 --> 00:52:04,804
OK.

647
00:52:05,680 --> 00:52:07,808
OK. I'll go get ready.

648
00:52:08,000 --> 00:52:10,367
- Me too. 
- OK.

649
00:52:10,560 --> 00:52:12,688
OK.

650
00:52:13,920 --> 00:52:16,241
Right, bye.

651
00:52:18,400 --> 00:52:22,928
To be continued. When I come back, 
I'll tell you what Bubba used as a penis.

652
00:52:25,080 --> 00:52:27,651
[# Zhane: Hey, Mr DJ]

653
00:52:27,840 --> 00:52:33,529
# So we could all get down 
Where's the party, hey, Mr DJ?

654
00:52:33,720 --> 00:52:37,327
# Hey, Mr DJ,
You can get this started

655
00:52:37,520 --> 00:52:41,445
# Everybody ready to party
All night, all night

656
00:52:41,640 --> 00:52:45,201
# All the girls are ready So we can all get to it

657
00:52:45,400 --> 00:52:48,085
# So we can party till the break of dawn, oh

658
00:52:48,280 --> 00:52:51,921
# Once again, it’s on! Zhane, blow the horn Let the DJ know to keep playing your song

659
00:52:52,120 --> 00:52:55,249
# Maybe I'll browse, snatch up the blouse 
Rip the foul, ho

660
00:52:55,440 --> 00:52:57,488
# And get rub-a-dub style 
Cuz your body won't move

661
00:52:57,680 --> 00:53:00,047
# If it can't feel the groove
So can't boogie, have to show and prove

662
00:53:00,240 --> 00:53:02,481
# Hey now I'm feeling the vibe 
Rollin' with the flava... #

663
00:53:02,680 --> 00:53:04,842
[gobbling sounds]

664
00:53:17,880 --> 00:53:20,531
Well, ain't you gonna eat?

665
00:53:20,720 --> 00:53:23,849
I think I’ll wait a moment. I My stomach’s a little upset

666
00:53:25,960 --> 00:53:30,249
Them some mighty fine victuals. 
Wouldn't let 'em go to waste.

667
00:53:31,640 --> 00:53:34,530
You know, I think you're making 
some wonderful strides

668
00:53:34,720 --> 00:53:37,485
with the way you're dealing 
with the children.

669
00:53:38,320 --> 00:53:42,291
That was almost a really good thing 
you tried to do for Tiger tonight.

670
00:53:43,680 --> 00:53:45,921
May I make a suggestion?

671
00:53:48,080 --> 00:53:49,923
Proceed.

672
00:53:50,960 --> 00:53:54,203
Well, your story, while colourful...

673
00:53:55,520 --> 00:53:57,807
Bit rough.

674
00:53:58,520 --> 00:54:00,602
You mean the explosion?

675
00:54:01,280 --> 00:54:05,046
Yes, and the eye-gouging part.

676
00:54:05,920 --> 00:54:10,881
You need to loosen up.
Not everything can be about war.

677
00:54:14,000 --> 00:54:16,526
What do you like to do for fun?

678
00:54:21,200 --> 00:54:23,601
I like to hang upside down blindfolded,

679
00:54:23,800 --> 00:54:28,647
take my gun apart and put it back together
before my nose starts to bleed.

680
00:54:31,080 --> 00:54:33,287
Oh, that's great!

681
00:54:34,600 --> 00:54:37,683
Is there anything you like that isn’t to do with battle?

682
00:54:38,240 --> 00:54:41,130
- Like what? 
- Like golf.

683
00:54:42,160 --> 00:54:43,605
Negative.

684
00:54:44,720 --> 00:54:47,326
Do you like to go to the movies?

685
00:54:48,360 --> 00:54:50,408
Negative.

686
00:54:56,320 --> 00:54:58,766
I don't suppose you dance?

687
00:55:02,240 --> 00:55:06,325
I’ve been known to cut a little rug in my day.

688
00:55:06,520 --> 00:55:10,081
[# 2 Live Crew: Pop That Coochie]

689
00:55:15,080 --> 00:55:18,971
There’s only one place where we can go
To see freaky girls doing shows

690
00:55:19,160 --> 00:55:20,525
Doing tricks that make us holler. ..

691
00:55:20,720 --> 00:55:23,166
Ain't you gonna dance?

692
00:55:23,360 --> 00:55:25,124
Benson.

693
00:55:25,320 --> 00:55:29,962
# They'll do anything to turn us on 
Them girls got it goin' on!

694
00:55:30,320 --> 00:55:33,961
Benson, nobody does the robot any more.

695
00:55:34,720 --> 00:55:39,009
Then I guess I gotta dig further 
into my repertoire.

696
00:55:40,400 --> 00:55:44,485
# How hard? Hard like a rock 
When you make that coochie pop!

697
00:55:44,680 --> 00:55:47,650
# Hey pop that Coochie 
Hey pop that coochie, baby

698
00:55:47,840 --> 00:55:51,447
# Pop that coochie
Hey, pop that coochie, baby

699
00:55:51,640 --> 00:55:54,928
# Pop that coochie 
Pop, pop that coochie, baby

700
00:55:55,120 --> 00:55:58,522
# Pop-pop the coochie
Pop, that coochie, baby

701
00:55:58,720 --> 00:56:02,008
# Freaky girls with plenty of class 
Rollin' to the music and shakin' real fast

702
00:56:02,200 --> 00:56:05,568
# Bend over backwards, make me shout 
And work that body, in and out

703
00:56:05,760 --> 00:56:09,401
# Movin' their body with plenty of action 
Bringin' to the men more satisfaction

704
00:56:09,600 --> 00:56:12,809
# Doin' what they feel to turn us out 
Just work that body all the way out!

705
00:56:13,000 --> 00:56:16,766
# Shake it! Don't break it!
It took your momma nine months to make it

706
00:56:16,960 --> 00:56:20,089
# Bend over and spread 'em, girl 
Show me those coochie pearls

707
00:56:20,280 --> 00:56:23,250
# Bend that butt and don't you quit
Then blow me a freaky kiss

708
00:56:23,440 --> 00:56:24,771
# Girl, you know you look so cute #'

709
00:56:47,000 --> 00:56:51,449
Williams, you take these guys 
and fan out the left Hank of the school. Go!

710
00:56:52,480 --> 00:56:55,643
Wuliger, you take these two 
and cover the right. Gut it?

711
00:56:55,840 --> 00:56:57,842
Gut it. Come on!

712
00:57:57,680 --> 00:57:59,762
[man] Ahem.

713
00:58:03,240 --> 00:58:05,686
Don't move.

714
00:58:11,600 --> 00:58:14,410
[boys yell]

715
00:58:23,440 --> 00:58:26,046
Madison is a loser!

716
00:58:33,880 --> 00:58:36,360
Man, get in there.

717
00:58:48,600 --> 00:58:51,729
All right? And then 
his chest cavity exploded.

718
00:58:51,920 --> 00:58:54,685
Boom! Hee-hee.

719
00:58:54,880 --> 00:58:59,681
You know, that was the first time
I ever drove a man’s nose up into his brain,

720
00:58:59,880 --> 00:59:03,965
causin’ instant death
and simultaneous bowel evacuation.

721
00:59:04,760 --> 00:59:07,843
But enough about ma, woman. 
What's your story?

722
00:59:08,520 --> 00:59:12,445
I'm surprised you ain't dropped 
about 12 puppies by now.

723
00:59:12,640 --> 00:59:15,291
Ain't you never been married?

724
00:59:15,480 --> 00:59:17,244
Yeah, I was.

725
00:59:17,440 --> 00:59:20,444
What happened? 
You terminate his command?

726
00:59:20,640 --> 00:59:22,961
No. Actually, he left.

727
00:59:24,240 --> 00:59:26,891
I wanted children, he didn't.

728
00:59:28,040 --> 00:59:30,850
Any men that'd leave you 
oughta be monkey-stamped

729
00:59:31,040 --> 00:59:34,806
and have his brains 
mailed back to his mother.

730
00:59:35,640 --> 00:59:38,291
Well, thank you, Benson.

731
00:59:40,400 --> 00:59:44,325
How about you? 
Was there ever a Mrs Payne?

732
00:59:44,520 --> 00:59:49,560
Negative. I figured if the Marines wanted me 
to have a wife, they'd have issued me one.

733
00:59:54,640 --> 00:59:59,123
Well, I had a really nice time 
tonight, Benson.

734
00:59:59,920 --> 01:00:03,447
Heck, bein' with you 
is almost better than cleanin' my gun.

735
01:00:07,240 --> 01:00:10,449
- I gut somethin' for you. 
-Oh, what is it?

736
01:00:10,640 --> 01:00:12,449
It's a bullet.

737
01:00:14,200 --> 01:00:16,851
It's somethin' special.

738
01:00:17,040 --> 01:00:19,122
It's from my heart.

739
01:00:21,520 --> 01:00:23,568
Really? Well, where'd you get it?

740
01:00:24,800 --> 01:00:29,362
From my heart. Left ventricle. 
I took it out myself with a field knife.

741
01:00:29,560 --> 01:00:32,404
And I want you to have that.

742
01:00:34,120 --> 01:00:36,441
Thank you, Benson.

743
01:00:52,920 --> 01:00:55,002
Goodnight.

744
01:00:58,080 --> 01:01:00,321
Goodnight, princess.

745
01:01:14,840 --> 01:01:18,208
[hollers excitedly]

746
01:01:27,840 --> 01:01:29,808
[whistling]

747
01:01:39,240 --> 01:01:42,369
What the hell are you doin’ in my office?

748
01:01:43,880 --> 01:01:47,771
It was a trap. You set us up.

749
01:01:47,960 --> 01:01:51,043
I mighta made a little anonymous call.

750
01:01:51,240 --> 01:01:54,403
You didn't think 
they'd just hand it to you, did ya?

751
01:01:54,960 --> 01:01:58,362
We got the crap kicked out of us
because of you

752
01:01:58,560 --> 01:02:01,404
Tonight wasn’t about fair or unfair.

753
01:02:01,600 --> 01:02:04,126
It was about achievin' your objective.

754
01:02:06,000 --> 01:02:07,923
Did you?

755
01:02:08,120 --> 01:02:12,762
- Did you even see that trophy? 
-Oh, I saw it.

756
01:02:13,000 --> 01:02:18,643
- And when you saw it, did you want it? 
- Yeah, to get rid of you.

757
01:02:18,840 --> 01:02:21,446
That's not what I asked.

758
01:02:21,640 --> 01:02:25,361
- Did you want it? 
-I wanted it.

759
01:02:25,880 --> 01:02:28,008
-To own it? 
- Yeah.

760
01:02:28,760 --> 01:02:30,250
- Deserve It?
• Yeah.

761
01:02:30,440 --> 01:02:31,965
-Town

762
01:02:32,600 --> 01:02:35,046
Then let’s win it, you bruised—up turd!

763
01:02:35,240 --> 01:02:38,926
If you really want it,
I’ll show u how to earn it.

764
01:02:43,160 --> 01:02:47,085
[tannoy]
Welcome, parents, to Madison School.

765
01:02:47,240 --> 01:02:52,690
For your convenience, we will be 
announcing throughout the day

766
01:02:52,880 --> 01:02:54,928
if they happen.

767
01:03:03,240 --> 01:03:05,811
Hey, Heathcoat, your parents 
coming today?

768
01:03:06,000 --> 01:03:08,128
Nah, course nut.

769
01:03:08,320 --> 01:03:11,324
- How 'bout you, Williams? 
- What, are you kidding?

770
01:03:11,520 --> 01:03:15,047
My parents said they'd come 
but they say they've get allergies.

771
01:03:17,560 --> 01:03:20,723
What the hell happened to you?

772
01:03:22,080 --> 01:03:25,004
Me? Nothing. I'm great.

773
01:03:25,960 --> 01:03:30,363
Look at you, though. 
Regular little soldier man.

774
01:03:31,640 --> 01:03:34,246
You a hard—ass now?

775
01:03:34,440 --> 01:03:39,401
- What're you doin’ here?
- It’s parents’ day. I am your legal guardian.

776
01:03:41,440 --> 01:03:45,001
- And drunk 
- Don't you walk away from ma.

777
01:03:50,000 --> 01:03:53,243
- Gimme a little salute. 
- I'm not gonna salute you.

778
01:03:54,360 --> 01:03:58,046
You salute your superiors. 
Or don't they teach that around here?

779
01:03:58,240 --> 01:04:01,210
What superior?
They kicked you out, remember?

780
01:04:03,080 --> 01:04:06,050
Don't you sass me like your mother.

781
01:04:07,960 --> 01:04:12,602
You’re mine now. I own you. And you will respect me.

782
01:04:14,600 --> 01:04:16,409
Now, you salute me.

783
01:04:16,600 --> 01:04:18,125
No.

784
01:04:18,880 --> 01:04:22,123
You hit that buy again, 
I'll do more than salute you.

785
01:04:22,320 --> 01:04:25,005
- This is between me and my son. 
- Stepson.

786
01:04:25,200 --> 01:04:28,522
Whoever he is, he's on my time new.

787
01:04:44,560 --> 01:04:48,884
Now, I'm gonna ask you nicely, 
please return to your vehicle.

788
01:04:51,480 --> 01:04:53,767
You go on now.

789
01:05:14,440 --> 01:05:16,283
Go on back to your bunk, son.

790
01:05:22,240 --> 01:05:24,322
Major Payne, sir.

791
01:05:24,520 --> 01:05:25,646
Yes.

792
01:05:27,480 --> 01:05:30,131
I wanna get that trophy, sir.

793
01:05:31,160 --> 01:05:35,051
- Come again?
- I wanna get that trophy, sir.

794
01:05:35,240 --> 01:05:38,164
- What, you wanna steal it? 
- No, sir.

795
01:05:38,360 --> 01:05:42,046
-You want to win it? I want to earn it, sir.

796
01:05:44,240 --> 01:05:47,164
The rest of you men feel the same way?

797
01:05:49,960 --> 01:05:54,602
Meat me on the parade ground, 1700 hours. 
We gut work to do.

798
01:05:55,520 --> 01:05:58,410
Squad, atten-hut!

799
01:06:03,640 --> 01:06:05,608
[cheering]

800
01:06:05,800 --> 01:06:08,770
[# Aretha Franklin: Respect]

801
01:06:11,680 --> 01:06:16,163

802
01:06:16,720 --> 01:06:20,611

803
01:06:20,800 --> 01:06:25,727

804
01:06:25,920 --> 01:06:30,562

805
01:06:30,760 --> 01:06:33,127

806
01:06:33,320 --> 01:06:36,802

807
01:06:37,000 --> 01:06:40,721

808
01:06:40,920 --> 01:06:45,050

809
01:06:45,240 --> 01:06:48,881

810
01:06:49,080 --> 01:06:52,368

811
01:06:52,560 --> 01:06:56,645

812
01:06:56,840 --> 01:06:58,569

813
01:06:58,760 --> 01:07:03,926

814
01:07:04,120 --> 01:07:09,604
One...two...three...four.,.

815
01:07:10,680 --> 01:07:17,484
..five...six...seven...eight.

816
01:07:19,880 --> 01:07:25,091

817
01:07:25,280 --> 01:07:28,250
Forty inches breast to back,

818
01:07:29,240 --> 01:07:32,608

819
01:07:32,800 --> 01:07:35,485

820
01:07:35,680 --> 01:07:38,889

821
01:07:39,080 --> 01:07:42,243

822
01:07:42,440 --> 01:07:46,081

823
01:07:46,280 --> 01:07:49,204

824
01:07:49,400 --> 01:07:52,131

825
01:07:52,320 --> 01:07:55,847

826
01:07:56,040 --> 01:07:58,771
[song continues]

827
01:08:05,680 --> 01:08:07,648
[inaudible]

828
01:08:13,080 --> 01:08:15,401
[shrill whistle]

829
01:08:31,080 --> 01:08:34,448
Squad! Atten—hut!

830
01:08:35,480 --> 01:08:37,847
Present arms!

831
01:08:38,960 --> 01:08:41,531
Order arms!

832
01:08:41,960 --> 01:08:44,088
Left face!

833
01:08:47,280 --> 01:08:49,931
Right face!

834
01:08:50,720 --> 01:08:53,291
Rank, rest!

835
01:08:57,400 --> 01:08:59,129
You're still a shit sandwich.

836
01:09:00,560 --> 01:09:03,291
You're just not a soggy one.

837
01:09:03,520 --> 01:09:06,569
From now on, you are no longer turds.

838
01:09:06,760 --> 01:09:09,650
You've graduated to maggots.

839
01:09:10,480 --> 01:09:13,245
You're a family, a team.

840
01:09:14,320 --> 01:09:16,482
Let's win them games.

841
01:09:28,680 --> 01:09:31,729
Squad! Atten—hut!

842
01:09:32,560 --> 01:09:35,291
General on deck

843
01:09:42,360 --> 01:09:46,922
Major, I have news so good 
I've decided to deliver it personally.

844
01:09:47,120 --> 01:09:52,763
America needs you. There’s a situation in Bosnia that requires your special services

845
01:09:52,960 --> 01:09:58,444
As of this moment, you are reinstated in the 
US Marines at the rank of Lieutenant Colonel.

846
01:09:58,640 --> 01:10:01,883
- Thank you, sir! 
- Congratulations.

847
01:10:02,480 --> 01:10:07,361
Your unit will be leaving out of Washington. You will arrive tomorrow at 1600 for briefing.

848
01:10:07,560 --> 01:10:09,722
Here are your tickets.

849
01:10:11,440 --> 01:10:14,967
Uh, General, tomorrow are 
the military games and I was hoping...

850
01:10:15,160 --> 01:10:19,449
Games? 
Payne, I fought to get you reinstated.

851
01:10:20,480 --> 01:10:23,131
You wanted in. I got you in.

852
01:10:23,320 --> 01:10:28,167
You don't take this, 
there won't be any more chances.

853
01:10:32,960 --> 01:10:35,042
Sir, the major will be there, sir!

854
01:10:35,840 --> 01:10:39,242
Good man. I'll see you in Washington.

855
01:10:59,720 --> 01:11:02,121
Hey, Major. Where you goin'?

856
01:11:03,160 --> 01:11:05,527
Back to killin'. You wanna coma?

857
01:11:07,240 --> 01:11:09,322
I didn't think so.

858
01:11:10,160 --> 01:11:12,083
Go lead your men into victory.

859
01:11:13,200 --> 01:11:18,286
Great. What happened to unity and family 
and all that other bullshit you taught us?

860
01:11:19,000 --> 01:11:24,803
I never said families don't break up. 
Don't you watch Oprah?

861
01:11:44,600 --> 01:11:47,171
So it’s true. You're just gonna leave.

862
01:11:52,880 --> 01:11:57,408
You know, when they're through with you, 
they're just gonna cut you loose again.

863
01:11:58,880 --> 01:12:02,601
I asked to leave.
Them boys are makin’ me soft.

864
01:12:03,320 --> 01:12:08,451
"Them boys" need you. 
All that hard work, they did it for you.

865
01:12:08,960 --> 01:12:11,361
- They did it for themselves. 
- Benson.

866
01:12:12,280 --> 01:12:16,285
Look, woman. 
I toured 11 separate engagements.

867
01:12:16,480 --> 01:12:21,088
I didn't do that to come back 
and be conquered by no woman and kids.

868
01:12:21,280 --> 01:12:24,045
What'd you think I was gonna do, 
marry you?

869
01:12:24,240 --> 01:12:28,802
Put up a white picket fence? Adopt Tiger 
and become the lovin' male role model?

870
01:12:29,000 --> 01:12:32,243
That's not me. It's not Payne!

871
01:12:32,440 --> 01:12:35,125
[# Aretha Franklin: 
I Never Loved a Man (the way I love you)]

872
01:12:35,320 --> 01:12:38,847

873
01:12:39,760 --> 01:12:42,684

874
01:12:43,680 --> 01:12:46,763

875
01:12:46,960 --> 01:12:50,442

876
01:12:51,320 --> 01:12:53,800

877
01:12:55,160 --> 01:12:57,322

878
01:12:57,520 --> 01:13:02,208

879
01:13:02,400 --> 01:13:05,324

880
01:13:07,160 --> 01:13:09,128

881
01:13:10,520 --> 01:13:13,171

882
01:13:13,360 --> 01:13:17,331

883
01:13:17,520 --> 01:13:20,524

884
01:13:20,720 --> 01:13:22,768

885
01:13:22,960 --> 01:13:26,362
I can't believe he actually left.

886
01:13:27,400 --> 01:13:29,368
Alex, where are you going?

887
01:13:31,240 --> 01:13:35,848
To the games. You guys better start 
getting ready. We gotta be there in an hour.

888
01:13:36,040 --> 01:13:39,931
We don't have to go to the games, 
Payne's gone.

889
01:13:40,120 --> 01:13:42,248
We don't have a chance without Payne.

890
01:13:42,440 --> 01:13:48,163
Listen, Payne or no Payne, I'm gonna 
go out there and win that stupid trophy.

891
01:13:48,960 --> 01:13:52,203
We busted our asses off out there 
gettin' ready for this.

892
01:13:52,400 --> 01:13:55,802
I didn't go through all that 
to come out empty handed.

893
01:13:57,360 --> 01:14:00,842
So, how about it, guys? Are you with me?

894
01:14:02,000 --> 01:14:04,082
Sure.

895
01:14:04,680 --> 01:14:08,890
- [as Payne] I can't hear you! 
- Sir, yes, sir!

896
01:14:09,120 --> 01:14:11,327
Just a little bit louder now.

897
01:14:11,520 --> 01:14:12,931
Sir, yes, sir!

898
01:14:13,120 --> 01:14:15,088
One more time, you maggots.

899
01:14:15,280 --> 01:14:17,806
Sir, yes, sir...

900
01:14:32,040 --> 01:14:34,486
[tannoy] Taggert; present arms.

901
01:14:34,680 --> 01:14:37,331
Stapleton, present arms!

902
01:14:39,880 --> 01:14:41,928
Wellington, present arms!

903
01:14:47,080 --> 01:14:49,560
Madison, present arms!

904
01:14:50,040 --> 01:14:52,805
Cadets, order arms!

905
01:14:57,160 --> 01:14:59,367
Welcome, men, to Wellington Academy

906
01:14:59,560 --> 01:15:03,963
for the 58th annual 
Junior ROTC Virginia Military Games.

907
01:15:04,360 --> 01:15:06,966
This morning, you are all equal.

908
01:15:07,160 --> 01:15:12,041
But by the end of the day today, we will 
honour the finest of you with a trophy.

909
01:15:12,240 --> 01:15:15,005
The trophy of a champion.

910
01:15:15,200 --> 01:15:17,168
Let the games begin!

911
01:15:17,360 --> 01:15:19,328
[cheering]

912
01:15:26,240 --> 01:15:30,404
Good shot, Williams. I got nothin' 
to say to you. All right, Fox Keep goin'.

913
01:15:31,160 --> 01:15:32,844
Yes!

914
01:15:33,960 --> 01:15:36,008
Come on, guys! Maggots!

915
01:15:36,200 --> 01:15:37,964
Pull!

916
01:15:49,400 --> 01:15:51,050
Go, Tiger!

917
01:16:22,760 --> 01:16:26,082
Catch it! Oh, I gotcha now!

918
01:16:44,440 --> 01:16:46,249
[Emily's voice Benson.

919
01:16:48,000 --> 01:16:51,607
[J': Donna Reed Show Theme]

920
01:16:58,320 --> 01:17:01,449
[inaudible over music]

921
01:18:06,080 --> 01:18:08,048
[train hooter]

922
01:18:22,120 --> 01:18:24,726
On your mark Get set.

923
01:18:24,920 --> 01:18:26,251
[gunshot]

924
01:18:32,800 --> 01:18:36,566
One, sir. Two, sir. Three, sir. Four, sir.

925
01:18:57,680 --> 01:19:00,650
Faster, Heathcoat. Over the wall. Go! Go!

926
01:19:01,520 --> 01:19:03,363
Come on! You can do it!

927
01:19:06,520 --> 01:19:08,522
See you later, loser!

928
01:19:41,440 --> 01:19:43,249
He just tripped him!

929
01:19:43,440 --> 01:19:47,968
The winner of t he relay race
is Wellington Academy.

930
01:19:49,240 --> 01:19:51,766
Second place, Madison Preparatory.

931
01:19:52,480 --> 01:19:54,801
Third place, Stapleton.

932
01:19:55,680 --> 01:19:57,762
Fourth place, Taggart.

933
01:20:13,520 --> 01:20:15,648
[whistles]

934
01:20:18,000 --> 01:20:20,321
All right, knock it off!

935
01:20:25,480 --> 01:20:28,404
Hold it right there! Hey, hey, you!

936
01:20:31,840 --> 01:20:33,524
I want that man arrested[

937
01:20:38,040 --> 01:20:39,451
This is unsatisfactory

938
01:20:39,640 --> 01:20:44,009
I demand that the Madison squad
be disqualified from the final competition I

939
01:20:44,200 --> 01:20:48,125
Lieutenant, I can only disqualify
the cadet who started the disturbance.

940
01:20:48,320 --> 01:20:50,527
That's not enough! Look at 'em.

941
01:20:50,720 --> 01:20:53,883
These animals are so pathetic, 
their own commander didn't even show up.

942
01:20:56,000 --> 01:20:58,606
Ain't no need for name-calling.

943
01:21:13,360 --> 01:21:17,649
What are you doing here? I was 
told you were on an important assignment.

944
01:21:18,440 --> 01:21:22,490
Wall, what could be more important than 
my boys winnin' this here competition?

945
01:21:22,680 --> 01:21:27,242
I suggest we get this party started. 
That OK with you, Colonel?

946
01:21:30,680 --> 01:21:33,889
Cadets, I’m pleased to announce
the two top—rated squads

947
01:21:34,080 --> 01:21:37,801
who will compete for first and second place in the parade drill competition:

948
01:21:38,000 --> 01:21:40,810
Wellington Academy 
and Madison Academy.

949
01:21:48,160 --> 01:21:53,485
[tannoy] Wellington Academy.
Drill leader, Sergeant Michael Rachmill.

950
01:21:57,320 --> 01:22:01,086
All right, gentlemen, let's look alive here! 
We gut trophies to win.

951
01:22:02,320 --> 01:22:04,641
Hello, Mr Denial.

952
01:22:04,840 --> 01:22:08,128
While you were on vacation, 
we've been havin' some real problems.

953
01:22:08,760 --> 01:22:12,162
I don’t see no problem. I You made it to the finals]

954
01:22:12,720 --> 01:22:15,041
Yeah, no thanks to you.

955
01:22:15,240 --> 01:22:18,164
So, why'd you come back'? 
We don't need you.

956
01:22:19,920 --> 01:22:24,801
- Maybe I didn't come back for you. 
- Why'd you come back, then?

957
01:22:25,680 --> 01:22:30,481
Maybe I wanna see you win first place 
and ain't gonna leave until you do!

958
01:22:32,480 --> 01:22:35,324
So that’s it? It's all about the trophy?

959
01:22:39,320 --> 01:22:41,527
Maybe I like you.

960
01:22:45,880 --> 01:22:47,882
Just like?

961
01:22:49,120 --> 01:22:52,647
Maybe I like you a lot.

962
01:22:53,920 --> 01:22:56,321
That's it?

963
01:22:56,520 --> 01:22:59,171
Don't push the "maybe", baby.

964
01:23:00,200 --> 01:23:04,683
- Now, let’s win this thing. 
- We have nobody to lead the drill.

965
01:23:04,880 --> 01:23:07,724
- Course we do. 
- Who?

966
01:23:07,920 --> 01:23:11,003
- Tiger. 
- Are you crazy?

967
01:23:11,640 --> 01:23:17,602
- He know the drill like the back of his head. 
- I can't do it. I'm too little.

968
01:23:18,760 --> 01:23:22,970
[tannoy] Ladies and gentlemen, 
the Wellington Academy drill team.

969
01:23:23,160 --> 01:23:28,200
You need me to tell you the story 
about the Little Engine That Could again?

970
01:23:30,040 --> 01:23:34,682
Then you get out there
and you toot that horn, boy.

971
01:23:34,880 --> 01:23:38,009
Toot! Toot!

972
01:23:39,520 --> 01:23:41,966
Toot! toot!

973
01:23:44,760 --> 01:23:47,809
Ladies and gentlemen, 
Madison Preparatory School.

974
01:23:53,120 --> 01:23:54,724
[drum roll]

975
01:23:55,560 --> 01:23:59,087
Drill-team leaden 
Private Kevin "Tiger" Dunne.

976
01:24:10,560 --> 01:24:12,005
Left-step march!

977
01:24:12,520 --> 01:24:14,363
# Now here we are together

978
01:24:15,040 --> 01:24:16,724
# Ready to do whatever

979
01:24:16,920 --> 01:24:21,369
# We started out as boys
Now we're men and we’re makin’ noise

980
01:24:21,560 --> 01:24:25,281
# So stand back and step clear, 
Madison cadets are the ones to fear

981
01:24:26,080 --> 01:24:29,846
# If you don't believe 
Battle us and you will see

982
01:24:30,360 --> 01:24:34,285
# Oh, yeah, here come
Here we come, here we come

983
01:24:34,840 --> 01:24:39,004
# - Hip-hop, hip-hop, hip-hop, ho 
- Hip-hop, hip-hop, hip-hop, ho

984
01:24:39,200 --> 01:24:42,921
# We can get down cause it’s in our souls - We can get down because it’s in our souls

985
01:24:43,120 --> 01:24:45,202
# - Hit me with a one, two 
- One, two

986
01:24:45,400 --> 01:24:47,368
# - Hit me with a three, four
- Three, four

987
01:24:47,560 --> 01:24:50,086
# Hit me with a one, two, three, four

988
01:24:50,280 --> 01:24:52,408
[all] # One, two, three, four... #

989
01:24:52,600 --> 01:24:53,840
Mark time, march!

990
01:24:56,520 --> 01:24:58,761
Present arms!

991
01:24:59,800 --> 01:25:01,723
Forward march!

992
01:25:01,920 --> 01:25:05,641
Huh! Huh! Huh! huh!

993
01:25:10,200 --> 01:25:11,565
Order arms!

994
01:25:17,760 --> 01:25:20,047
Free style!

995
01:25:27,160 --> 01:25:28,889
Arms!

996
01:26:02,000 --> 01:26:04,606
# One, two, three, get down on the hip-hop

997
01:26:04,800 --> 01:26:07,167
# Get down, get funky and you don't stop

998
01:26:08,840 --> 01:26:10,888
# Go, Tiger

999
01:26:11,240 --> 01:26:14,881
# Get down, do that, do that...

1000
01:26:15,520 --> 01:26:18,842
# - Get down and do that, do that
- Whoo! Whoo...! #

1001
01:26:21,600 --> 01:26:24,604
Aaaa...!

1002
01:26:24,800 --> 01:26:27,087
- Salute! 
- [gunshot]

1003
01:26:27,280 --> 01:26:29,647
Madison Preparatory School.

1004
01:26:29,840 --> 01:26:31,808
[cheering]

1005
01:27:18,480 --> 01:27:20,369
Company! Atten-hut!

1006
01:27:25,600 --> 01:27:28,251
Sir, squad is formed, sir.

1007
01:27:30,280 --> 01:27:32,123
Post.

1008
01:27:37,880 --> 01:27:42,886
My name 
is Major Benson Winifred Payne!

1009
01:27:44,000 --> 01:27:48,927
I'd like to be the first 
to welcome you to the Madison School.

1010
01:27:49,920 --> 01:27:54,448
What we've tried to develop here 
is a family environment.

1011
01:27:55,120 --> 01:27:57,805
One of trust and understanding.

1012
01:27:58,760 --> 01:28:03,971
I’d like for you to think of me
not only as your commanding officer

1013
01:28:04,160 --> 01:28:06,481
but as your friend.

1014
01:28:06,680 --> 01:28:08,330
[barking]

1015
01:28:08,520 --> 01:28:10,648
And what the hell is that?

1016
01:28:11,680 --> 01:28:14,126
He's mine.

1017
01:28:14,320 --> 01:28:16,448
[boy whistles]

1018
01:28:20,760 --> 01:28:23,730
Thataboy. Sit. Good boy.

1019
01:28:29,720 --> 01:28:34,760
You know, there ain't no pets allowed 
on these here premises, Mr Ace Venture.

1020
01:28:34,960 --> 01:28:38,931
Yeah, well, maybe that doesn't apply to me. 
He's my blind seeing-eye dog.

1021
01:28:41,560 --> 01:28:45,326
What In the world would anybody want 
with a blind dog?

1022
01:28:45,520 --> 01:28:48,569
The dog ain't blind. 
I'm the one that's blind, you idiot.

1023
01:28:51,240 --> 01:28:56,963
I see you and your friend Cujo here got 
a little attitudinal problem needs readjustin'.

1024
01:28:57,160 --> 01:29:00,289
Well, I'll fix that up quick, 
fast and in a hurry.

1025
01:29:00,480 --> 01:29:01,641
Hey, Corporal!

1026
01:29:04,520 --> 01:29:06,841
Go tell Mama bring my field knife.

1027
01:29:14,080 --> 01:29:17,209
[dog howls and yelps]

1028
01:29:22,400 --> 01:29:27,440
Hee-hee-hee. Ha-hee-hee.

1029
01:29:27,640 --> 01:29:32,931
Ho-hee-hee. Ha-hee-hee...