1 00:00:24,983 --> 00:00:26,359 (ELEVATOR BELL DINGS) 2 00:00:26,360 --> 00:00:28,136 (ELEVATOR DOOR OPENS) 3 00:00:38,830 --> 00:00:41,566 Where you going? Come here. 4 00:00:42,709 --> 00:00:44,444 (BOTH MOANING) 5 00:00:45,337 --> 00:00:47,238 (BOTH BREATHING HEAVILY) 6 00:00:48,507 --> 00:00:50,132 Wait, wait, wait. 7 00:00:50,133 --> 00:00:53,844 Sorry. You're right. We barely know each other. 8 00:00:53,845 --> 00:00:56,347 Maybe we should have a drink and talk. 9 00:00:56,348 --> 00:00:57,874 Actually... 10 00:00:58,016 --> 00:00:59,642 my zipper just got caught on my necklace. 11 00:00:59,643 --> 00:01:02,754 But if you want to talk, we can. Sure. 12 00:01:03,146 --> 00:01:05,090 Okay, great. 13 00:01:05,190 --> 00:01:07,258 Or we can talk after. 14 00:01:08,026 --> 00:01:09,761 - Yeah. - Yeah. 15 00:02:58,595 --> 00:03:00,330 (GIGGLING) 16 00:03:06,436 --> 00:03:08,104 - Come on! - No! 17 00:03:08,105 --> 00:03:10,648 Let me tag along for a drink. You said I'd like it. 18 00:03:10,649 --> 00:03:12,316 It's too soon. 19 00:03:12,317 --> 00:03:14,944 Once you meet my dad and I meet your friends, 20 00:03:14,945 --> 00:03:16,821 they become a part of this... 21 00:03:16,822 --> 00:03:19,156 and I just want to stay in our bubble a little longer. 22 00:03:19,157 --> 00:03:20,783 It's been eight weeks. 23 00:03:20,784 --> 00:03:22,268 You keeping track? 24 00:03:24,496 --> 00:03:26,731 - Happy Anniversary - (GASPS) 25 00:03:27,374 --> 00:03:29,291 I saw it and... 26 00:03:29,292 --> 00:03:31,069 I thought of you. 27 00:03:31,962 --> 00:03:33,530 Open it. 28 00:03:39,344 --> 00:03:41,079 (ALARM RINGING) 29 00:03:41,722 --> 00:03:44,140 KATE: Good morning. (GROANS) 30 00:03:44,141 --> 00:03:46,976 Why do I schedule breakfast meetings? 31 00:03:46,977 --> 00:03:48,644 For the bacon, I think. 32 00:03:48,645 --> 00:03:52,314 But you need to lay off that until your cholesterol's down. Why not turkey? 33 00:03:52,315 --> 00:03:55,025 Screw turkey. I like pig. 34 00:03:55,026 --> 00:03:57,695 Well, I heard a story on the news... 35 00:03:57,696 --> 00:04:01,157 about a guy who ate an undercooked pork chop and... 36 00:04:01,158 --> 00:04:04,910 got a worm that made his brain swell up super fast. 37 00:04:04,911 --> 00:04:05,995 Uh-huh. 38 00:04:05,996 --> 00:04:10,207 And to relieve the pressure, they had to cut out a chunk of his skull. 39 00:04:10,208 --> 00:04:11,375 Oh, wow. 40 00:04:11,376 --> 00:04:15,838 Like a triangle of his skull, they cut it right out of his head... 41 00:04:15,839 --> 00:04:18,591 and they implanted it in his groin... 42 00:04:18,592 --> 00:04:20,509 so it wouldn't die. 43 00:04:20,510 --> 00:04:22,762 Otherwise, his brain would have... 44 00:04:22,763 --> 00:04:25,014 his head would have exploded. 45 00:04:25,015 --> 00:04:26,140 Mmm-hmm. 46 00:04:26,141 --> 00:04:28,017 The skull was holding his brain... 47 00:04:28,018 --> 00:04:32,755 which was swelling, and his head would have just exploded. 48 00:04:33,565 --> 00:04:36,567 Just think of that next time you eat pig bacon. 49 00:04:36,568 --> 00:04:38,136 I will. 50 00:04:40,197 --> 00:04:41,614 Here you go. 51 00:04:41,615 --> 00:04:43,349 Thanks, sweetie. (DOG BARKING) 52 00:04:44,743 --> 00:04:45,951 (GROANS) (GASPS) 53 00:04:45,952 --> 00:04:47,203 Thunder? 54 00:04:47,204 --> 00:04:48,454 He needs training. 55 00:04:48,455 --> 00:04:50,790 I'm taking him to obedience school today. 56 00:04:50,791 --> 00:04:53,626 Oh! And we need a check for the painter, too. 57 00:04:53,627 --> 00:04:56,962 That reminds me, I need you to sign these, honey. 58 00:04:56,963 --> 00:04:58,547 What are they? 59 00:04:58,548 --> 00:05:00,450 Oh, just some stuff for the accountant. 60 00:05:03,053 --> 00:05:04,720 I don't even understand this. 61 00:05:04,721 --> 00:05:06,222 I can't even read these anymore. 62 00:05:06,223 --> 00:05:09,892 I already read it for us. You just have to sign. 63 00:05:09,893 --> 00:05:11,977 No, I really don't understand this. 64 00:05:11,978 --> 00:05:14,271 I feel like I need to go to brain camp. 65 00:05:14,272 --> 00:05:16,106 Like, a brain camp. 66 00:05:16,107 --> 00:05:19,109 Where they give you exercises for your brain? 67 00:05:19,110 --> 00:05:21,111 When people have lazy eyes... 68 00:05:21,112 --> 00:05:22,905 they get their eyes worked out 69 00:05:22,906 --> 00:05:24,698 so they don't have to wear glasses. 70 00:05:24,699 --> 00:05:25,783 Mmm-hmm. 71 00:05:25,784 --> 00:05:27,326 They should have that for your brain. 72 00:05:27,327 --> 00:05:28,744 Like a brain camp. 73 00:05:28,745 --> 00:05:31,956 You could go lay on a beach and get tan 74 00:05:31,957 --> 00:05:33,749 and drink gingko balboa all day. 75 00:05:33,750 --> 00:05:35,860 You come back and you're super smart. 76 00:05:36,002 --> 00:05:39,697 It's gingko biloba. Balboa was Rocky. 77 00:05:40,632 --> 00:05:45,411 Right. See? See? That's why I need to go to brain camp. 78 00:05:45,554 --> 00:05:47,163 (ELEVATOR BELL DINGS) 79 00:05:52,310 --> 00:05:54,045 Any messages? 80 00:05:54,271 --> 00:05:58,482 I don't think so. I've kind of been in the zone here. 81 00:05:58,483 --> 00:06:00,109 You weren't going to mention these? 82 00:06:00,110 --> 00:06:02,887 Why? They're the first things you see. 83 00:06:03,321 --> 00:06:06,824 Micromacks? I thought Dave Cohen was handling this merger. 84 00:06:06,825 --> 00:06:08,951 No. The client said he was too emotional. 85 00:06:08,952 --> 00:06:11,287 They wanted a ruthless law robot, so... 86 00:06:11,288 --> 00:06:13,289 I got Micromacks. 87 00:06:13,290 --> 00:06:15,457 Get Dave on the phone. I need all pertinent materials... 88 00:06:15,458 --> 00:06:18,627 and a set of dates for deposition. 89 00:06:18,628 --> 00:06:20,530 Why do you work so hard? 90 00:06:20,672 --> 00:06:23,799 The point of being pretty is that you don't have to. 91 00:06:23,800 --> 00:06:25,843 You don't see me worrying about my job, do you? 92 00:06:25,844 --> 00:06:27,636 Unfortunately, no. 93 00:06:27,637 --> 00:06:30,957 That's because I have a Stan, okay? He works. 94 00:06:30,974 --> 00:06:34,018 I come here because it's like a hobby that pays well. 95 00:06:34,019 --> 00:06:36,687 Oh, by the way, your dad called... 96 00:06:36,688 --> 00:06:40,550 to confirm that you and he were still on for drinks with "Mark." 97 00:06:41,693 --> 00:06:43,986 - Who's Mark? - The guy I'm seeing. 98 00:06:43,987 --> 00:06:46,697 - Obviously, but which one? - The only one. 99 00:06:46,698 --> 00:06:48,532 There's one guy? 100 00:06:48,533 --> 00:06:52,828 And you're calling him Mark? You never use their names! 101 00:06:52,829 --> 00:06:55,164 What happened to Model Man Boy and Dr. Not So Smart...? 102 00:06:55,165 --> 00:06:57,291 - Gone. - The Hot Rabbi? 103 00:06:57,292 --> 00:06:59,418 - And the Hot Rabbi's Cousin? - Cut them loose. 104 00:06:59,419 --> 00:07:02,171 - You cleared the roster. - I cleared the bench. 105 00:07:02,172 --> 00:07:05,674 Wow. You haven't dated just one guy in a long time. 106 00:07:05,675 --> 00:07:08,453 It's not a big deal. It's very new. 107 00:07:08,553 --> 00:07:12,890 No jinxies. I get it. It's good that Mark doesn't have a nickname. 108 00:07:12,891 --> 00:07:16,185 It means he's still viable. You haven't rejected him. 109 00:07:16,186 --> 00:07:19,797 - He's not a donor kidney. - It's not the organ I was thinking of. 110 00:07:22,067 --> 00:07:23,233 (HORN HONKING) Hello? 111 00:07:23,234 --> 00:07:25,194 Hi. Red or white? 112 00:07:25,195 --> 00:07:27,529 - Red or white what? - Wine. 113 00:07:27,530 --> 00:07:28,739 You didn't forget, did you? 114 00:07:28,740 --> 00:07:30,975 - Forget what? - Dinner with Phil. 115 00:07:31,242 --> 00:07:33,243 You told me that was next week. 116 00:07:33,244 --> 00:07:36,013 No. I said it was next week last week, which means it's this week. 117 00:07:36,014 --> 00:07:38,207 I'm sorry, honey. Tonight's not good. I gotta work. 118 00:07:38,208 --> 00:07:41,710 What? Again? This is the third night this week! 119 00:07:41,711 --> 00:07:43,770 The guys on the Canadian deal wanna do dinner. 120 00:07:43,796 --> 00:07:45,723 So I'm just gonna stay in the city tonight. 121 00:07:45,757 --> 00:07:49,160 You know what? Why don't I meet you after your meeting? 122 00:07:49,386 --> 00:07:53,097 I'll drive in to meet you in the city after your meeting! 123 00:07:53,098 --> 00:07:54,556 No, you don't want to do that. 124 00:07:54,557 --> 00:07:56,100 I don't mind! 125 00:07:56,101 --> 00:07:57,726 We can have so much fun! 126 00:07:57,727 --> 00:08:00,062 We'll go to that hot chocolate place in the morning. 127 00:08:00,063 --> 00:08:02,398 We could just cuddle and sleep in. 128 00:08:02,399 --> 00:08:04,566 You know what? Screw it. I'm coming home. 129 00:08:04,567 --> 00:08:06,568 - Really? Aw! - Really. 130 00:08:06,569 --> 00:08:08,570 Family comes first. I'll see you when I get back. 131 00:08:08,571 --> 00:08:10,239 I'll make a steak and salad... 132 00:08:10,240 --> 00:08:12,141 Shit! 133 00:08:12,409 --> 00:08:14,811 MARK: Wow, look at you! 134 00:08:16,287 --> 00:08:18,622 - How are you? - Not too great. 135 00:08:18,623 --> 00:08:19,832 Oh, what's wrong? 136 00:08:19,833 --> 00:08:21,125 The housekeeper called. 137 00:08:21,126 --> 00:08:24,086 A pipe burst in the bathroom... I have to go handle it. 138 00:08:24,087 --> 00:08:26,922 Oh, no! You're going to Connecticut now? 139 00:08:26,923 --> 00:08:29,591 I got to. There's two feet of water in my basement. 140 00:08:29,592 --> 00:08:31,635 I can go with you. That'd be fun. 141 00:08:31,636 --> 00:08:34,263 No, you go see your dad. 142 00:08:34,264 --> 00:08:36,306 I'll see if he can meet tomorrow night. 143 00:08:36,307 --> 00:08:38,543 I won't be back tomorrow night. 144 00:08:39,602 --> 00:08:41,671 And what about meeting my dad? 145 00:08:43,273 --> 00:08:46,442 I'm sorry, baby. I have to take a rain check. 146 00:08:46,443 --> 00:08:47,651 Yeah, that's okay. 147 00:08:47,652 --> 00:08:49,611 - Don't be mad. - I'm not being anything. 148 00:08:49,612 --> 00:08:52,114 - What do you want me to do? - Go to Connecticut. 149 00:08:52,115 --> 00:08:54,450 - Really? - Yeah, really. 150 00:08:54,451 --> 00:08:55,701 All right. 151 00:08:55,702 --> 00:08:59,188 - Call me when you're done being pissed. - That might be a while. 152 00:09:00,165 --> 00:09:02,733 (INDISTINCT CONVERSATIONS) (JAZZ MUSIC PLAYING) 153 00:09:07,839 --> 00:09:10,074 Hi, hon. 154 00:09:10,842 --> 00:09:14,261 Here, you want this? I'm switching to vodka. 155 00:09:14,262 --> 00:09:15,637 Ugh! 156 00:09:15,638 --> 00:09:17,347 Who orders gin? 157 00:09:17,348 --> 00:09:21,351 Uh, I couldn't read the menu because I left my glasses at Nina's. 158 00:09:21,352 --> 00:09:24,354 - Want to know who Nina is? - Not really. 159 00:09:24,355 --> 00:09:27,816 Indian girl. Beautiful. Very soft skin. We met at Trader Joe's. 160 00:09:27,817 --> 00:09:31,570 - She told me about this naan bread. - When did you start eating naan? 161 00:09:31,571 --> 00:09:34,990 She's 24, a dance major. I eat anything she tells me to. 162 00:09:34,991 --> 00:09:36,726 Ew! 163 00:09:38,745 --> 00:09:40,162 Where's your guy? 164 00:09:40,163 --> 00:09:43,582 - I think we just broke up. - No! How come? 165 00:09:43,583 --> 00:09:46,502 A pipe burst in his house and he went back to Connecticut. 166 00:09:46,503 --> 00:09:49,088 And where in the story does he act like a jerk? 167 00:09:49,089 --> 00:09:51,240 - It's how he handled it. - You're just being paranoid. 168 00:09:51,241 --> 00:09:53,258 No, I'm telling you something feels off. 169 00:09:53,259 --> 00:09:55,861 And when I get this feeling, I'm usually always right. 170 00:09:55,862 --> 00:09:59,348 Oh, please! Every relationship I've ever had, something felt off. 171 00:09:59,349 --> 00:10:01,975 That's probably why you're wrapping up divorce number five 172 00:10:01,976 --> 00:10:04,587 with one of my sorority sisters. 173 00:10:07,273 --> 00:10:09,425 You really like this guy, huh? 174 00:10:09,776 --> 00:10:12,444 So forget all this bullshit and go surprise him. 175 00:10:12,445 --> 00:10:14,196 - It's not bullshit. - It is. 176 00:10:14,197 --> 00:10:17,366 Put on something sexy, get your ass out to Connecticut... 177 00:10:17,367 --> 00:10:19,852 and fix that young man's plumbing. 178 00:10:42,058 --> 00:10:44,301 - Don't worry, you look good. - Thanks. 179 00:10:44,302 --> 00:10:46,162 - He'll love it. - Who? 180 00:10:46,437 --> 00:10:48,172 Whoever. (CHUCKLES) 181 00:10:49,065 --> 00:10:51,342 Here you go. Thanks for the ride. 182 00:10:52,235 --> 00:10:53,652 Need me to wait? 183 00:10:53,653 --> 00:10:55,346 Nah, I think I got it. 184 00:11:14,299 --> 00:11:15,825 (KNOCKING) 185 00:11:16,885 --> 00:11:18,619 (CLEARS THROAT) 186 00:11:21,973 --> 00:11:23,307 - Hi. - Hi. 187 00:11:23,308 --> 00:11:25,267 I'm looking for Mark. 188 00:11:25,268 --> 00:11:27,503 Oh. What's this about? 189 00:11:27,604 --> 00:11:30,105 I'm Carly. You must be his housekeeper. 190 00:11:30,106 --> 00:11:32,508 No, I'm his wife, Kate. 191 00:11:36,821 --> 00:11:40,024 Is this some kind of stripper-gram or something? 192 00:11:40,366 --> 00:11:42,143 Oh. 193 00:11:42,493 --> 00:11:44,745 No. No. I have the wrong address. 194 00:11:44,746 --> 00:11:47,231 I'm looking for a different Mark. 195 00:11:47,999 --> 00:11:49,400 Mark Kink. 196 00:11:49,626 --> 00:11:50,834 Mark King? 197 00:11:50,835 --> 00:11:52,711 No! No, no. 198 00:11:52,712 --> 00:11:55,214 He's a short guy? Bald? 199 00:11:55,215 --> 00:11:57,841 Lives a couple of streets over on Clark. 200 00:11:57,842 --> 00:11:58,967 There is no Clark Street. 201 00:11:58,968 --> 00:12:00,219 Anyway... 202 00:12:00,220 --> 00:12:01,803 Ooh! Ah! Ah! 203 00:12:01,804 --> 00:12:03,372 Oh, my God! 204 00:12:03,973 --> 00:12:05,416 Shit. 205 00:12:07,977 --> 00:12:10,880 Um. I'll send you a check for your urn. 206 00:12:11,105 --> 00:12:12,548 (PANTING) 207 00:12:22,158 --> 00:12:24,060 Can't forget this. 208 00:13:02,365 --> 00:13:03,766 (GRUNTS) 209 00:13:11,040 --> 00:13:12,775 What happened? 210 00:13:12,792 --> 00:13:16,211 It must be big. You were crazy about him two days ago. 211 00:13:16,212 --> 00:13:20,215 It can't be the sex... you were a lot nicer and your hair was more shiny. 212 00:13:20,216 --> 00:13:22,785 He has a wife, okay? He's married. 213 00:13:22,802 --> 00:13:24,720 You don't think you can take her? 214 00:13:24,721 --> 00:13:27,306 That's not the point. I don't do married guys. 215 00:13:27,307 --> 00:13:29,599 I don't need to wreck someone's home for a date. 216 00:13:29,600 --> 00:13:31,810 It's not always a wreck. Stan and I were married when we met. 217 00:13:31,811 --> 00:13:33,812 We weren't happy. Now we are. 218 00:13:33,813 --> 00:13:35,647 You wrecked two marriages! 219 00:13:35,648 --> 00:13:38,900 First, one was mine, so that doesn't count. Second of all. 220 00:13:38,901 --> 00:13:41,320 Stan's wife was fat, with no sexual charisma. 221 00:13:41,321 --> 00:13:44,239 That marriage was doomed, so it wasn't cheating. 222 00:13:44,240 --> 00:13:46,074 I don't think that's how it works. 223 00:13:46,075 --> 00:13:49,328 But I think a married guy is a perfect fit for you. 224 00:13:49,329 --> 00:13:51,747 Mark was able to lead a whole other life 225 00:13:51,748 --> 00:13:53,665 without you even noticing. 226 00:13:53,666 --> 00:13:56,001 You need a guy with something to keep him busy. 227 00:13:56,002 --> 00:13:57,919 Not a wife! (SIGHS) 228 00:13:57,920 --> 00:14:00,964 I don't do this. I'm too old for this shit. 229 00:14:00,965 --> 00:14:05,161 I've been dating for decades! I don't need this anymore! 230 00:14:05,636 --> 00:14:08,263 Somebody's being negative. I'm gonna go. 231 00:14:08,264 --> 00:14:11,500 I'll tell you what my mother told me... words to live by. 232 00:14:11,976 --> 00:14:15,546 Selfish people live longer 233 00:14:15,938 --> 00:14:17,339 I'm just saying. 234 00:14:20,234 --> 00:14:21,818 (INTERCOM BEEPS) 235 00:14:21,819 --> 00:14:23,491 - WOMAN: Miss Whitten? - Yeah? 236 00:14:23,517 --> 00:14:26,473 There's someone here to see you... Kate King. 237 00:14:37,168 --> 00:14:40,337 Hi. I'm Kate. I met you on Friday. 238 00:14:40,338 --> 00:14:45,409 Yeah, I remember. Sorry about your urn. What are you doing here? 239 00:14:45,802 --> 00:14:48,637 Um, I found your number in my husband's phone. 240 00:14:48,638 --> 00:14:50,013 So, um... 241 00:14:50,014 --> 00:14:52,349 Well, actually, the phone bill, 242 00:14:52,350 --> 00:14:54,810 because I couldn't crack the code on his password. 243 00:14:54,811 --> 00:14:58,688 Which is fitting, as obviously I don't know anything going on in his life. 244 00:14:58,689 --> 00:15:01,525 But, anyhow, I'm here. 245 00:15:01,526 --> 00:15:03,860 I thought maybe we could talk? 246 00:15:03,861 --> 00:15:06,154 No, we can't. If you have any questions 247 00:15:06,155 --> 00:15:08,766 about your husband, you should ask him. 248 00:15:09,033 --> 00:15:12,035 Oh, well, I would, but I'm pretty sure... 249 00:15:12,036 --> 00:15:15,773 he's lying to me and sleeping with you. (CHUCKLES) 250 00:15:17,708 --> 00:15:19,276 So... 251 00:15:23,714 --> 00:15:25,465 Am I right? (GASPS) 252 00:15:25,466 --> 00:15:26,883 Oh! 253 00:15:26,884 --> 00:15:28,953 Am I right? 254 00:15:29,053 --> 00:15:31,012 You're sleeping with my husband? 255 00:15:31,013 --> 00:15:33,223 I'm sorry. I had no idea. I swear. 256 00:15:33,224 --> 00:15:34,724 You're sleeping with my husband?! 257 00:15:34,725 --> 00:15:36,143 Could you keep it down? 258 00:15:36,144 --> 00:15:37,394 Oh! 259 00:15:37,395 --> 00:15:39,964 Oh, gosh. Okay. 260 00:15:40,064 --> 00:15:42,299 Oh, oh... 261 00:15:42,608 --> 00:15:43,775 Ooh! 262 00:15:43,776 --> 00:15:46,111 I did not expect this at all. 263 00:15:46,112 --> 00:15:50,115 I thought I would come here and you would tell me I was crazy. 264 00:15:50,116 --> 00:15:54,520 I did not think that I would be right at all. 265 00:15:54,787 --> 00:15:56,371 I mean, maybe a little, 266 00:15:56,372 --> 00:15:58,707 in that too-horrible-to-be-true kind of way. 267 00:15:58,708 --> 00:16:00,667 The say-the-awful-thing-so-that- 268 00:16:00,668 --> 00:16:02,544 the-awful-thing-doesn't-happen thing. 269 00:16:02,545 --> 00:16:04,129 (BREATHING HEAVILY) Ooh! Oh! 270 00:16:04,130 --> 00:16:06,031 Does this... 271 00:16:06,299 --> 00:16:09,535 Does this open? The window? Anywhere? 272 00:16:09,802 --> 00:16:13,372 There's got to be a little latch or something. 273 00:16:13,973 --> 00:16:16,725 - Does this window open? - (CLEARS THROAT) No, and for good reason. 274 00:16:16,726 --> 00:16:20,145 If you're having a panic attack, go outside and get some air. 275 00:16:20,146 --> 00:16:22,647 Let me just lay down for a minute. 276 00:16:22,648 --> 00:16:26,067 - You sure the window doesn't open? - No. You're gonna be fine. 277 00:16:26,068 --> 00:16:29,821 This window. Just open it a little. Crack it. Just crack it. 278 00:16:29,822 --> 00:16:31,823 If you don't mind... 279 00:16:31,824 --> 00:16:35,660 We're out of air. It's hot in here. Just crack the window. 280 00:16:35,661 --> 00:16:39,247 Okay, I'll tell you anything you want if you just leave. 281 00:16:39,248 --> 00:16:40,900 Anything? 282 00:16:41,167 --> 00:16:42,250 Anything. 283 00:16:42,251 --> 00:16:43,835 (BREATHING HEAVILY) Okay. 284 00:16:43,836 --> 00:16:45,571 Help me up. 285 00:16:45,713 --> 00:16:48,032 (INDISTINCT CONVERSATIONS) (MUSIC PLAYING) 286 00:16:56,349 --> 00:16:59,518 How long have you and my husband been seeing each other? 287 00:16:59,519 --> 00:17:01,754 I don't know... a couple months. 288 00:17:02,313 --> 00:17:05,315 Did you just start sleeping together? 289 00:17:05,316 --> 00:17:09,720 We were going to hold off for prom, but we just got carried away. 290 00:17:09,779 --> 00:17:11,988 We're adults. We had sex. 291 00:17:11,989 --> 00:17:13,615 The details don't matter. 292 00:17:13,616 --> 00:17:16,159 The details do matter, because... 293 00:17:16,160 --> 00:17:18,495 there's a difference between having sex 294 00:17:18,496 --> 00:17:21,065 one time and having sex ten times. 295 00:17:21,290 --> 00:17:24,626 Oh, my God! Did you do it more than ten times? 296 00:17:24,627 --> 00:17:26,695 I think specifics are a bad idea. 297 00:17:29,674 --> 00:17:33,243 Okay, fine. Gun to my head... 298 00:17:33,302 --> 00:17:34,636 fifty. 299 00:17:34,637 --> 00:17:36,872 Fifty times?! 300 00:17:37,306 --> 00:17:39,307 Fifty times?! 301 00:17:39,308 --> 00:17:42,310 You had sex with my husband fifty times?! 302 00:17:42,311 --> 00:17:47,549 Don't you have a job?! Or hobbies?! What is wrong with you?! 303 00:17:48,192 --> 00:17:51,194 Does this mean he's not training for the marathon? 304 00:17:51,195 --> 00:17:52,862 Yeah... No. 305 00:17:52,863 --> 00:17:56,491 This is not okay. I am part of Team King. 306 00:17:56,492 --> 00:18:00,996 I quit my job so we could focus on his job. I put off having kids... 307 00:18:00,997 --> 00:18:02,706 because he wasn't ready. 308 00:18:02,707 --> 00:18:07,502 I went to China! Do you have any idea how far away China is? 309 00:18:07,503 --> 00:18:08,962 And it's not all Hong Kong, either. 310 00:18:08,963 --> 00:18:10,672 Lots of pollution. 311 00:18:10,673 --> 00:18:13,049 What do I do? Now I'm Barb Melman? 312 00:18:13,050 --> 00:18:16,052 Barb Melman got divorced and now she has... 313 00:18:16,053 --> 00:18:19,347 cheek implants and lives in a condo in Norwalk... 314 00:18:19,348 --> 00:18:23,727 and has to go on dates. I am not equipped to go on dates. 315 00:18:23,728 --> 00:18:25,854 The last time I was single, I was 24 316 00:18:25,855 --> 00:18:28,189 and the dating pool was everyone! 317 00:18:28,190 --> 00:18:30,692 Now it's like a shallow puddle... 318 00:18:30,693 --> 00:18:34,237 of age-appropriate men who are old... 319 00:18:34,238 --> 00:18:37,032 and gross and I don't want to do that! 320 00:18:37,033 --> 00:18:39,451 I know that you think it's that bad, 321 00:18:39,452 --> 00:18:41,911 but honestly, it's a lot worse. 322 00:18:41,912 --> 00:18:46,750 You know why? Even if you meet a nice guy... and by "nice"... 323 00:18:46,751 --> 00:18:48,793 I mean that he's not an obvious sociopath... 324 00:18:48,794 --> 00:18:51,822 you can't get excited about it... 325 00:18:51,881 --> 00:18:53,715 because it's just a matter of time before 326 00:18:53,716 --> 00:18:57,218 someone gets bored and unhappy and is saying it's over. 327 00:18:57,219 --> 00:19:00,138 And that's a happy ending. A shitty ending... 328 00:19:00,139 --> 00:19:02,474 is that there's lying and cheating 329 00:19:02,475 --> 00:19:04,976 and you ambush Prince Charming's wife. 330 00:19:04,977 --> 00:19:06,645 You're saying I should stay with him. 331 00:19:06,646 --> 00:19:10,883 I'm saying everything fails eventually and monogamy is not natural. 332 00:19:11,150 --> 00:19:14,235 If you can live with that, like the French, then stay put. 333 00:19:14,236 --> 00:19:17,155 But if you can't, I suggest you get a game plan and leave. 334 00:19:17,156 --> 00:19:22,160 But what about the people who try to work it out? Maybe that's an option. 335 00:19:22,161 --> 00:19:24,245 Cheaters don't change. 336 00:19:24,246 --> 00:19:27,499 And if you work it out, he's just going to do it again. 337 00:19:27,500 --> 00:19:29,626 You'll end up back where you started, 338 00:19:29,627 --> 00:19:31,961 wishing you'd left the first time around. 339 00:19:31,962 --> 00:19:34,740 But that's just me. He's your husband. 340 00:19:34,757 --> 00:19:36,675 What does your gut tell you? (BURPS) 341 00:19:36,676 --> 00:19:38,093 Jesus Christ! 342 00:19:38,094 --> 00:19:39,995 It was just a burp. 343 00:19:42,223 --> 00:19:44,015 (RETCHING) 344 00:19:44,016 --> 00:19:46,184 Can I get some napkins? 345 00:19:46,185 --> 00:19:47,920 That was throw-up. 346 00:19:49,772 --> 00:19:51,147 (LAUGHING) Ah! 347 00:19:51,148 --> 00:19:52,549 Oh, my God! 348 00:19:52,983 --> 00:19:57,320 Okay, great, come on. Let's get in the car. Come on, come on. 349 00:19:57,321 --> 00:19:59,098 (LAUGHING) 350 00:20:01,659 --> 00:20:03,284 Okay, Okay. 351 00:20:03,285 --> 00:20:05,328 Bye! See you later! 352 00:20:05,329 --> 00:20:07,455 Bye, see you later! 353 00:20:07,456 --> 00:20:09,165 Bye, I'm going. 354 00:20:09,166 --> 00:20:10,959 This is a bag full of vomit. 355 00:20:10,960 --> 00:20:13,070 It's not my first. 356 00:20:13,337 --> 00:20:15,296 Come on, let's get you in the car. 357 00:20:15,297 --> 00:20:16,798 Get into the... 358 00:20:16,799 --> 00:20:18,174 That's enough. 359 00:20:18,175 --> 00:20:21,177 No, don't go just yet. Just one kiss. 360 00:20:21,178 --> 00:20:24,806 One kiss and good-bye. Okay, that was it. 361 00:20:24,807 --> 00:20:26,683 Okay, let's go. (CAR ENGINE STARTS) 362 00:20:26,684 --> 00:20:29,686 Let's get into the car. Be very careful. 363 00:20:29,687 --> 00:20:30,979 I don't want to go. 364 00:20:30,980 --> 00:20:33,757 Put your foot down. Please go. 365 00:20:35,693 --> 00:20:39,429 - Let me just... - Wait. How are you doing that? 366 00:20:39,488 --> 00:20:41,515 (GROANING) 367 00:20:42,700 --> 00:20:46,103 Okay, let's go this way. All right. 368 00:20:46,370 --> 00:20:48,872 Get over. It's a step down. 369 00:20:48,873 --> 00:20:52,375 Step down. Step down. Okay, there you go. 370 00:20:52,376 --> 00:20:54,069 There you go. 371 00:20:56,046 --> 00:20:58,006 FERNANDO: It's really nice, what you're doing for her. 372 00:20:58,007 --> 00:21:01,050 Yeah, that's me... Mistress of the Year. 373 00:21:01,051 --> 00:21:03,579 Okay, Fernando, go, go, go! 374 00:21:03,888 --> 00:21:06,389 Best night ever! I! 375 00:21:06,390 --> 00:21:07,724 Ever! 376 00:21:07,725 --> 00:21:09,459 Bye! 377 00:21:09,769 --> 00:21:11,519 (WHOOPING) 378 00:21:11,520 --> 00:21:14,189 (LAUGHING) Yes! 379 00:21:14,190 --> 00:21:15,732 Holy shit. 380 00:21:15,733 --> 00:21:17,025 Call me! 381 00:21:17,026 --> 00:21:18,552 That is so weird. 382 00:21:56,607 --> 00:21:58,608 WOMAN 1: My husband likes this pasta. 383 00:21:58,609 --> 00:22:00,610 WOMAN 2: Milk? My husband prefers goat. 384 00:22:00,611 --> 00:22:03,347 WOMAN 3: My husband likes a meaty sauce. 385 00:22:03,531 --> 00:22:05,307 (INDISTINCT CONVERSATIONS) 386 00:22:09,954 --> 00:22:13,148 (WOMEN SPEAKING FRENCH) 387 00:22:24,093 --> 00:22:26,678 doing the Benson depo on Tuesday... 388 00:22:26,679 --> 00:22:30,249 but if we want it on video, I need a different court reporter. 389 00:22:31,016 --> 00:22:33,518 (WHISPERING) Kate King is at security. 390 00:22:33,519 --> 00:22:35,170 What? 391 00:22:35,437 --> 00:22:37,172 Kate King. 392 00:22:41,527 --> 00:22:43,011 Excuse me. 393 00:22:44,446 --> 00:22:46,197 What's up, Leonard? 394 00:22:46,198 --> 00:22:47,532 Hey, Miss Whitten. 395 00:22:47,533 --> 00:22:49,617 Ray Charles over here tried to pass herself off 396 00:22:49,618 --> 00:22:51,870 as a blind woman to get upstairs. 397 00:22:51,871 --> 00:22:53,788 Oh, no, I didn't! 398 00:22:53,789 --> 00:22:56,791 I'm wearing these glasses because I look like shit. 399 00:22:56,792 --> 00:22:58,960 He saw the dog and drew his own conclusions. 400 00:22:58,961 --> 00:23:00,628 That did not happen. 401 00:23:00,629 --> 00:23:03,715 And if I was Ray Charles, I would actually be blind and... 402 00:23:03,716 --> 00:23:06,676 need this dog, so thanks for making no sense. 403 00:23:06,677 --> 00:23:07,760 What is it? 404 00:23:07,761 --> 00:23:11,681 I'm not French. I had a little Edith Piaf moment... 405 00:23:11,682 --> 00:23:13,933 but the idea of worrying about 406 00:23:13,934 --> 00:23:16,352 white shirts and thin turkey and all that... 407 00:23:16,353 --> 00:23:19,856 while pretending not to know about his whores... 408 00:23:19,857 --> 00:23:23,735 is really throwing me into an all-American rage. 409 00:23:23,736 --> 00:23:26,237 Not that you're a whore! You're not a whore. 410 00:23:26,238 --> 00:23:28,990 Okay, turn around. Turn around. 411 00:23:28,991 --> 00:23:30,726 - You're not a whore. - Let's go outside. 412 00:23:31,827 --> 00:23:33,620 I'm assuming you came here 413 00:23:33,621 --> 00:23:35,204 because you think we're friends 414 00:23:35,205 --> 00:23:38,750 and that I care about your problems... but guess what? I don't. 415 00:23:38,751 --> 00:23:42,837 I don't care about you or Mark or your marriage or your dog. 416 00:23:42,838 --> 00:23:45,256 If Edith Piaf rises out of the grave and 417 00:23:45,257 --> 00:23:47,759 you have a threesome, I don't flipping care! 418 00:23:47,760 --> 00:23:49,344 I was keeping you in the loop. 419 00:23:49,345 --> 00:23:52,748 I want out of the loop! Take me out. 420 00:23:52,932 --> 00:23:54,933 - Okay? - Okay! 421 00:23:54,934 --> 00:23:56,418 Thank you! 422 00:23:59,855 --> 00:24:01,757 Come on, Thunder. 423 00:24:05,361 --> 00:24:07,262 (DOORBELL RINGING) 424 00:24:17,581 --> 00:24:19,316 Oh, my God. 425 00:24:19,917 --> 00:24:23,711 Sorry. It's me. Don't be mad. I just... 426 00:24:23,712 --> 00:24:26,865 I just want to talk. I thought we could have some dinner? 427 00:24:26,966 --> 00:24:28,700 How do you know where I live? 428 00:24:29,885 --> 00:24:31,386 We followed you home. 429 00:24:31,387 --> 00:24:35,556 But I didn't want to show up empty-handed, so I brought food. 430 00:24:35,557 --> 00:24:37,892 Some food is right here. 431 00:24:37,893 --> 00:24:39,435 (CHUCKLES) 432 00:24:39,436 --> 00:24:41,270 How'd you get in the building? 433 00:24:41,271 --> 00:24:45,008 We waited for someone to leave and then snuck in. 434 00:24:47,277 --> 00:24:48,611 Hi. 435 00:24:48,612 --> 00:24:52,573 What is your deal? Do you not get how weird this is? 436 00:24:52,574 --> 00:24:56,953 I just thought maybe we could talk, because I, um... 437 00:24:56,954 --> 00:24:58,688 Because... 438 00:24:59,331 --> 00:25:01,749 Because my whole world just blew up 439 00:25:01,750 --> 00:25:03,626 and I don't have a job! (SOBBING) 440 00:25:03,627 --> 00:25:06,087 I have no money of my own! 441 00:25:06,088 --> 00:25:10,133 And I honestly do not know what I'm going to do at all! 442 00:25:10,134 --> 00:25:12,051 I have no friends to talk to because 443 00:25:12,052 --> 00:25:14,095 my friends are Mark's friends... 444 00:25:14,096 --> 00:25:16,264 and they'll blab! You are literally 445 00:25:16,265 --> 00:25:18,474 the only person in the world... 446 00:25:18,475 --> 00:25:20,643 who knows what's happening besides me! 447 00:25:20,644 --> 00:25:22,979 And if I keep talking to myself... 448 00:25:22,980 --> 00:25:27,817 about it, I'm going to go crazy... for real. Like, really. 449 00:25:27,818 --> 00:25:30,554 I can't talk to you until you stop crying. 450 00:25:31,822 --> 00:25:33,723 I want to. (SOBS) 451 00:25:36,326 --> 00:25:38,895 Let me just... I'm sorry. 452 00:25:39,163 --> 00:25:40,788 I just am sad. 453 00:25:40,789 --> 00:25:43,400 Then cry on the inside, like a winner. 454 00:25:44,293 --> 00:25:46,878 You can't care for yourself unless you toughen up. 455 00:25:46,879 --> 00:25:49,964 As far as talking to someone who won't blab, 456 00:25:49,965 --> 00:25:51,799 I can give you the names of three different lawyers. 457 00:25:51,800 --> 00:25:53,384 Lawyers cost money. 458 00:25:53,385 --> 00:25:55,678 You have money. You have half of what Mark has. 459 00:25:55,679 --> 00:25:57,305 Okay. Thank you. 460 00:25:57,306 --> 00:25:58,973 You're welcome. Are we done? 461 00:25:58,974 --> 00:26:01,392 Done? That wasn't even a conversation. 462 00:26:01,393 --> 00:26:04,062 You mostly just yelled at me the whole time. 463 00:26:04,063 --> 00:26:05,714 (DOG WHIMPERING) 464 00:26:08,358 --> 00:26:09,759 Okay, look. 465 00:26:10,903 --> 00:26:12,820 If I let you in, we are not braiding 466 00:26:12,821 --> 00:26:14,973 each other's hair and drinking Cosmos. 467 00:26:15,407 --> 00:26:16,824 - You have one hour. - Okay. 468 00:26:16,825 --> 00:26:19,160 And I get first dibs on what's in the bag. 469 00:26:19,161 --> 00:26:20,828 Sure thing. 470 00:26:20,829 --> 00:26:24,149 Have a seat, but please keep your dog off of my furniture. 471 00:26:33,926 --> 00:26:35,660 (WHISPERS) Thunder... 472 00:26:36,095 --> 00:26:37,762 get down. 473 00:26:37,763 --> 00:26:40,499 Get down. Get down. 474 00:26:40,599 --> 00:26:42,876 Down! (SIGHS) 475 00:26:43,769 --> 00:26:46,338 Okay. That's great. 476 00:26:46,772 --> 00:26:48,840 He's just a puppy. 477 00:26:52,861 --> 00:26:54,679 Have a seat. 478 00:26:55,114 --> 00:26:58,600 I don't want to sit someplace where you and Mark had sex. 479 00:26:58,867 --> 00:27:00,685 (CLEARS TH THROAT) 480 00:27:00,953 --> 00:27:02,787 ls the ottoman okay? 481 00:27:02,788 --> 00:27:04,606 Mmm... 482 00:27:05,541 --> 00:27:07,442 What about the chair? 483 00:27:13,632 --> 00:27:15,049 If I'm being honest... 484 00:27:15,050 --> 00:27:17,468 Are you serious? It's a window! 485 00:27:17,469 --> 00:27:19,971 People can see in here! 486 00:27:19,972 --> 00:27:22,890 You just have to pick a spot and be okay with it. 487 00:27:22,891 --> 00:27:25,460 Just have a seat. (SIGHS) 488 00:27:30,732 --> 00:27:32,592 (CELL PHONE BUZZING) 489 00:27:35,988 --> 00:27:37,639 Is Mark calling? 490 00:27:40,826 --> 00:27:42,076 Yes, it is. 491 00:27:42,077 --> 00:27:44,495 Mark's in Miami. Why is he calling you? 492 00:27:44,496 --> 00:27:46,414 I didn't know he was in Miami. 493 00:27:46,415 --> 00:27:49,584 - Why is he calling you at all? - I don't know that, either. 494 00:27:49,585 --> 00:27:52,336 I don't call a boyfriend back after I find out he has a wife. 495 00:27:52,337 --> 00:27:53,880 So you haven't called him, full silent 496 00:27:53,881 --> 00:27:55,590 treatment and he's still calling? 497 00:27:55,591 --> 00:27:57,425 I'm pretty sure that's why he's still calling. 498 00:27:57,426 --> 00:28:00,219 What if he's calling to say he loves you and wants to be with you? 499 00:28:00,220 --> 00:28:01,512 I don't care. 500 00:28:01,513 --> 00:28:03,764 Well, what if he's in love with you? 501 00:28:03,765 --> 00:28:06,100 I mean, has he ever said he loves you? 502 00:28:06,101 --> 00:28:08,603 Has he talked to you like that, or has he...? 503 00:28:08,604 --> 00:28:11,423 I mean, do you think that he still loves me? 504 00:28:13,692 --> 00:28:16,928 If we're going to do this, I need a drink. 505 00:28:19,031 --> 00:28:20,698 - I get it. - Get what? 506 00:28:20,699 --> 00:28:25,536 You have the perfect place, and you are the perfect girl... 507 00:28:25,537 --> 00:28:29,290 and you could probably take off all your clothes right now... 508 00:28:29,291 --> 00:28:32,710 and have no flab and not need a wax... 509 00:28:32,711 --> 00:28:35,713 or anything and just be ready to go. 510 00:28:35,714 --> 00:28:39,383 My situation's pretty situated at all times, it's true. 511 00:28:39,384 --> 00:28:41,636 And see, I am not situated. 512 00:28:41,637 --> 00:28:45,389 I can't even remember to shave my legs. 513 00:28:45,390 --> 00:28:49,060 I need like at least a week of prep, minimum. 514 00:28:49,061 --> 00:28:51,713 Doesn't Mark see you naked all the time? 515 00:28:52,231 --> 00:28:54,148 - No. - He doesn't? 516 00:28:54,149 --> 00:28:56,718 No. It's... 517 00:28:56,902 --> 00:28:58,970 No. 518 00:28:59,071 --> 00:29:02,240 What's it like? Is it like a '70s situation? 519 00:29:02,241 --> 00:29:04,142 It's like... 520 00:29:04,243 --> 00:29:07,896 now I'm totally serious, like... not... 521 00:29:10,832 --> 00:29:12,901 No man likes that. 522 00:29:13,085 --> 00:29:15,987 It's like a... just not... 523 00:29:16,046 --> 00:29:18,172 I'm not saying you have to be bald 524 00:29:18,173 --> 00:29:20,492 or anything. Just like a fig leaf. 525 00:29:20,550 --> 00:29:22,176 That's all they want. 526 00:29:22,177 --> 00:29:24,095 They just need to have... 527 00:29:24,096 --> 00:29:27,916 a pretty little patch of happiness. 528 00:29:28,558 --> 00:29:31,294 You know, I am like... 529 00:29:32,229 --> 00:29:34,297 Martha Stewart... 530 00:29:34,564 --> 00:29:37,634 but with big underpants. 531 00:29:37,693 --> 00:29:40,152 Let me tell you something about Martha Stewart. 532 00:29:40,153 --> 00:29:42,905 She handled prison like a boss! 533 00:29:42,906 --> 00:29:45,642 Thank you. Right? 534 00:29:46,243 --> 00:29:50,204 I still think I'm not ready to compete with women like you. 535 00:29:50,205 --> 00:29:52,415 Though technically, I have been competing 536 00:29:52,416 --> 00:29:54,709 with women like you and just didn't know it. 537 00:29:54,710 --> 00:29:57,211 We're not in competition. We got played 538 00:29:57,212 --> 00:29:59,989 by the same guy. I call it a tie. 539 00:30:00,757 --> 00:30:02,341 Tequila or vodka? 540 00:30:02,342 --> 00:30:03,426 (LAUGHING) 541 00:30:03,427 --> 00:30:06,053 KATE: I can't believe I'm in the mistress's closet. 542 00:30:06,054 --> 00:30:11,058 I am not a mistress. A mistress knows she's dating a married man. 543 00:30:11,059 --> 00:30:14,562 I didn't know, so I'm not a mistress. Can you say that, please? 544 00:30:14,563 --> 00:30:17,315 Seriously, can you please say I'm not a mistress? 545 00:30:17,316 --> 00:30:19,317 - Oh. You're not a mistress. - Thank you. 546 00:30:19,318 --> 00:30:21,052 Sorry. (BOTH LAUGH) 547 00:30:21,153 --> 00:30:24,655 Try these on. These ones are very special. 548 00:30:24,656 --> 00:30:27,726 I don't think we have the same size foot. (GASPS) 549 00:30:28,493 --> 00:30:31,078 This looks like a box of bungee cords. 550 00:30:31,079 --> 00:30:33,565 What it does is hold your tits up. 551 00:30:33,665 --> 00:30:35,400 That's so awesome. 552 00:30:35,500 --> 00:30:36,834 This is like a logic puzzle. 553 00:30:36,835 --> 00:30:38,252 It would look so hot on you. 554 00:30:38,253 --> 00:30:40,488 I don't know why men find these sexy. 555 00:30:40,630 --> 00:30:42,214 Mouse hammock. 556 00:30:42,215 --> 00:30:44,826 (LAUGHING) 557 00:31:22,672 --> 00:31:24,073 (GRUNTS) 558 00:31:24,299 --> 00:31:28,286 Wake up. You're making out with your dog. 559 00:31:29,846 --> 00:31:31,247 Ugh. 560 00:31:31,556 --> 00:31:33,458 What is he doing? 561 00:31:33,809 --> 00:31:35,309 KATE: Oh, no. 562 00:31:35,310 --> 00:31:37,545 No, no, no! 563 00:31:38,814 --> 00:31:40,715 (BOTH GROAN) 564 00:31:41,066 --> 00:31:43,092 - I'm sorry. - Ugh! 565 00:31:43,735 --> 00:31:45,470 Damn it! 566 00:31:46,071 --> 00:31:48,223 You want me to get it? 567 00:31:48,907 --> 00:31:51,826 I'm really sorry. I thought I had him that time. 568 00:31:51,827 --> 00:31:53,119 Send me the cleaning bill. 569 00:31:53,120 --> 00:31:54,646 Believe it. 570 00:31:55,622 --> 00:31:57,248 (WHISTLES) 571 00:31:57,249 --> 00:31:59,166 You'll send me the lawyers' names? 572 00:31:59,167 --> 00:32:01,252 - You still want those? - Yeah. 573 00:32:01,253 --> 00:32:04,004 Listen, Mark's shady. He finds out you have a lawyer, 574 00:32:04,005 --> 00:32:06,507 you become the enemy. If he thinks... 575 00:32:06,508 --> 00:32:10,177 you're clueless, you have an edge. Get your ducks in a row. 576 00:32:10,178 --> 00:32:12,680 Thank you for everything. I really appreciate it. 577 00:32:12,681 --> 00:32:14,415 Yeah. That's fine. 578 00:32:15,851 --> 00:32:17,393 Thank you so much. 579 00:32:17,394 --> 00:32:19,170 No problem. You're welcome. 580 00:32:19,938 --> 00:32:21,339 Bye. 581 00:32:31,283 --> 00:32:33,351 Holy shit. 582 00:32:34,327 --> 00:32:36,563 (KATE SCREAMING) 583 00:32:38,415 --> 00:32:40,358 (CELL PHONE RINGING) 584 00:32:47,466 --> 00:32:49,200 Shit. 585 00:32:52,304 --> 00:32:56,140 Oh, I'm sorry. I thought you'd have your phone off. 586 00:32:56,141 --> 00:32:57,892 Then why even call? 587 00:32:57,893 --> 00:32:59,643 Why did you have your phone on? 588 00:32:59,644 --> 00:33:01,228 What do you need, Kate? 589 00:33:01,229 --> 00:33:03,063 Well, it's not a big deal, but... 590 00:33:03,064 --> 00:33:07,234 you know how sometimes you get like a... 591 00:33:07,235 --> 00:33:09,320 just a hint of a zit and you... 592 00:33:09,321 --> 00:33:11,489 pick at it a little bit, and... 593 00:33:11,490 --> 00:33:13,824 you keep picking at it... 594 00:33:13,825 --> 00:33:16,160 until it becomes this... 595 00:33:16,161 --> 00:33:20,581 soul-sucking, life-ruining face crater that you... 596 00:33:20,582 --> 00:33:22,666 absolutely cannot hide? 597 00:33:22,667 --> 00:33:25,028 You're calling because you got a zit? 598 00:33:26,338 --> 00:33:28,072 Not exactly. 599 00:33:28,840 --> 00:33:31,008 What the hell did you do? 600 00:33:31,009 --> 00:33:32,426 It was an accident. 601 00:33:32,427 --> 00:33:34,345 - An accident? - I know. 602 00:33:34,346 --> 00:33:35,830 Were you on PCP? 603 00:33:35,931 --> 00:33:37,848 KATE: Okay, here's what happened. 604 00:33:37,849 --> 00:33:40,935 I started digging around. Everything was locked. 605 00:33:40,936 --> 00:33:44,188 And I started thinking, maybe he is shady. 606 00:33:44,189 --> 00:33:46,482 And then I started thinking that this 607 00:33:46,483 --> 00:33:48,943 whole room is filled with lies and secrets. 608 00:33:48,944 --> 00:33:51,596 It was like this red mist came over me. 609 00:33:51,863 --> 00:33:53,431 So... 610 00:33:53,532 --> 00:33:56,684 You know how I told you to get your ducks in a row? 611 00:33:56,952 --> 00:33:58,786 Well, this isn't putting your ducks in a row. 612 00:33:58,787 --> 00:34:00,454 This is putting your ducks in a wood chipper! 613 00:34:00,455 --> 00:34:02,206 (DOORBELL RINGING) Hold on. 614 00:34:02,207 --> 00:34:04,291 - Shit, he's early. - Who? 615 00:34:04,292 --> 00:34:05,626 My brother, Phil. 616 00:34:05,627 --> 00:34:07,211 Don't mention the whole mistress thing. 617 00:34:07,212 --> 00:34:08,921 But it's such an icebreaker. 618 00:34:08,922 --> 00:34:10,323 (CLEARS TH THROAT) 619 00:34:12,217 --> 00:34:13,785 Who's this? 620 00:34:14,052 --> 00:34:16,303 I'm Carmela, Kate's decorator. 621 00:34:16,304 --> 00:34:17,388 Oh. 622 00:34:17,389 --> 00:34:19,223 When did you fire Joel? 623 00:34:19,224 --> 00:34:21,559 I didn't. No, he's, um... 624 00:34:21,560 --> 00:34:25,312 She's doing all of the stuff, the feng shui... in the house. 625 00:34:25,313 --> 00:34:27,815 We met in Hong Kong. I told you. 626 00:34:27,816 --> 00:34:30,401 We bonded over dim sum and spatial reasoning. 627 00:34:30,402 --> 00:34:32,736 Two of my favorite things. (BOTH LAUGH) 628 00:34:32,737 --> 00:34:37,141 That's so smart and funny! That's really witty. 629 00:34:37,409 --> 00:34:38,742 So, this is my brother. 630 00:34:38,743 --> 00:34:40,160 Yeah, you said that. 631 00:34:40,161 --> 00:34:42,413 - He's a contractor. - Oh, a contractor. 632 00:34:42,414 --> 00:34:43,998 He'll look at the office while you go. 633 00:34:43,999 --> 00:34:45,916 Unless you want to stay. 634 00:34:45,917 --> 00:34:50,170 I would love to, but it's kind of a tricky project... 635 00:34:50,171 --> 00:34:52,339 and I don't want to complicate things. 636 00:34:52,340 --> 00:34:54,758 But it was really nice meeting you. 637 00:34:54,759 --> 00:34:57,761 You, too. I hope I see you again soon. 638 00:34:57,762 --> 00:34:59,513 Carmela? Really? 639 00:34:59,514 --> 00:35:03,434 Did you and Tony enjoy Hong Kong? Or did Big Pussy and Meadow miss you too much? 640 00:35:03,435 --> 00:35:06,520 You will thank me for using a fake name. You want Phil... 641 00:35:06,521 --> 00:35:09,440 mentioning your new friend Carly to Mark? 642 00:35:09,441 --> 00:35:13,861 No. So you're welcome. By the way, what is up with your hot brother? 643 00:35:13,862 --> 00:35:17,781 No! No, you can't have my husband and my brother! 644 00:35:17,782 --> 00:35:21,118 No! That's being very greedy. 645 00:35:21,119 --> 00:35:23,203 - I think you're being greedy. - I'm being greedy? 646 00:35:23,204 --> 00:35:25,122 He's your brother. What would you do with him? 647 00:35:25,123 --> 00:35:29,877 So is everybody like hot-hot Phil in your family, or are most of them like you? 648 00:35:29,878 --> 00:35:31,462 I'm cute-cute Kate. 649 00:35:31,463 --> 00:35:33,714 - What about your father? - Leave Dad out of this! 650 00:35:33,715 --> 00:35:34,965 I bet he's hot. 651 00:35:34,966 --> 00:35:37,702 You and your vagina need to just... 652 00:35:51,608 --> 00:35:53,176 Kate? 653 00:36:02,285 --> 00:36:04,020 Surprise! 654 00:36:04,120 --> 00:36:07,414 I started redecorating. What do you think? 655 00:36:07,415 --> 00:36:09,583 What happened to just painting it red? 656 00:36:09,584 --> 00:36:11,168 Oh, red is so cliché. 657 00:36:11,169 --> 00:36:14,630 I would expect that from other guys in their offices, but not you. 658 00:36:14,631 --> 00:36:19,593 You deserve something different, something better than that. 659 00:36:19,594 --> 00:36:21,871 - Oh. - It's good, right? 660 00:36:22,430 --> 00:36:24,540 - I think it's great. - You do? 661 00:36:24,974 --> 00:36:27,101 - I love it. - Really? 662 00:36:27,102 --> 00:36:30,671 Because you know how I get carried away with all the colors... 663 00:36:34,943 --> 00:36:36,719 I missed you. 664 00:36:38,822 --> 00:36:40,781 How was Miami? 665 00:36:40,782 --> 00:36:42,991 Miami was amazing. 666 00:36:42,992 --> 00:36:45,786 The guys loved your gift card swap idea. 667 00:36:45,787 --> 00:36:47,121 SwipeSwitch? 668 00:36:47,122 --> 00:36:48,497 - And guess what? - What? 669 00:36:48,498 --> 00:36:49,790 Guess. 670 00:36:49,791 --> 00:36:51,667 What? What? 671 00:36:51,668 --> 00:36:55,671 They're going to put in half a million as seed money. 672 00:36:55,672 --> 00:36:57,631 - Really?! - That's right! 673 00:36:57,632 --> 00:37:00,368 - (SHRIEKS) - We did it, we did it! 674 00:37:00,510 --> 00:37:02,578 Oh! Team King! 675 00:37:03,638 --> 00:37:05,848 I'll tell you all about it at dinner. 676 00:37:05,849 --> 00:37:07,182 With me? 677 00:37:07,183 --> 00:37:09,639 Yes. We're celebrating. Just let me clean up real quick. 678 00:37:09,665 --> 00:37:10,778 Okay. 679 00:37:13,982 --> 00:37:16,092 (CELL PHONE RINGING) 680 00:37:19,320 --> 00:37:21,029 - How's it going? - Not good. 681 00:37:21,030 --> 00:37:22,156 What's wrong? 682 00:37:22,157 --> 00:37:23,490 We have a situation. 683 00:37:23,491 --> 00:37:25,409 If you killed him, don't tell me. 684 00:37:25,410 --> 00:37:27,536 I can't defend you if I know you did it. 685 00:37:27,537 --> 00:37:29,438 No, I didn't kill him. 686 00:37:29,539 --> 00:37:32,441 It's something that rhymes with... 687 00:37:32,542 --> 00:37:34,168 schlintercourse. 688 00:37:34,169 --> 00:37:36,378 What?! You had sex with him? 689 00:37:36,379 --> 00:37:39,506 No! Of course not. It's barely dark outside. 690 00:37:39,507 --> 00:37:43,244 He's just on a high from the business trip and... 691 00:37:45,054 --> 00:37:47,514 he's got that look in his eyes, that... 692 00:37:47,515 --> 00:37:48,916 (GRUNTS) 693 00:37:49,392 --> 00:37:51,018 you know, that... 694 00:37:51,019 --> 00:37:54,229 I just don't know if I can hold out. 695 00:37:54,230 --> 00:37:55,856 What is going on? 696 00:37:55,857 --> 00:37:58,901 I don't know! There's been wine, and... 697 00:37:58,902 --> 00:38:00,986 hand-holding during dinner. 698 00:38:00,987 --> 00:38:03,238 It just felt so good to be touched, you know? 699 00:38:03,239 --> 00:38:06,366 Yeah, I do, because he used to touch me, too. 700 00:38:06,367 --> 00:38:08,410 Ugh! Why do you say that? 701 00:38:08,411 --> 00:38:10,370 - A lot. - I don't want to hear that. 702 00:38:10,371 --> 00:38:12,748 - Then why call me? For permission? - No! 703 00:38:12,749 --> 00:38:15,042 If you want to have sex with your husband, do it 704 00:38:15,043 --> 00:38:17,711 I'm wondering, what if I keep my clothes on... 705 00:38:17,712 --> 00:38:19,421 - while we're having sex? - Really? 706 00:38:19,422 --> 00:38:24,593 What if the top part of me hated him, while the bottom part of me... 707 00:38:24,594 --> 00:38:27,554 did all the dirty work? What if he just put it in halfway... 708 00:38:27,555 --> 00:38:30,833 and then I took a really hot bath after and really cleaned up? 709 00:38:30,934 --> 00:38:32,184 You're making a mistake. 710 00:38:32,185 --> 00:38:33,560 I'm trying not to. 711 00:38:33,561 --> 00:38:35,103 - Not really. - Yes, I am! 712 00:38:35,104 --> 00:38:38,899 If you're going to cave every time he pays attention to you... 713 00:38:38,900 --> 00:38:40,275 leave me out of it. 714 00:38:40,276 --> 00:38:42,402 You can waste your own time, but I'm done. 715 00:38:42,403 --> 00:38:44,238 Fine! Be done. 716 00:38:44,239 --> 00:38:45,739 - I am done. - I'm done. 717 00:38:45,740 --> 00:38:47,241 - This is me being done. - Fine. 718 00:38:47,242 --> 00:38:49,618 - Good-bye. - Fine. Forget I called. 719 00:38:49,619 --> 00:38:51,229 Good-bye. 720 00:38:52,580 --> 00:38:54,315 (EXHALES SHARPLY) 721 00:38:56,376 --> 00:38:58,152 (SIGHS) 722 00:38:59,462 --> 00:39:00,863 Kate... 723 00:39:01,464 --> 00:39:03,799 you hold it together. 724 00:39:03,800 --> 00:39:06,369 He is awful. 725 00:39:07,095 --> 00:39:08,996 (LAUGHING) 726 00:39:19,107 --> 00:39:20,440 Oh, my God. 727 00:39:20,441 --> 00:39:21,650 (BOTH MOANING) 728 00:39:21,651 --> 00:39:23,719 I've missed you. 729 00:39:26,364 --> 00:39:28,282 You taste good. 730 00:39:28,283 --> 00:39:29,950 Oh, my God. 731 00:39:29,951 --> 00:39:32,186 And you smell so good. 732 00:39:36,124 --> 00:39:39,360 Okay, hold on one second. Just one second. 733 00:39:39,627 --> 00:39:42,154 (BREATHING HEAVILY) 734 00:39:44,799 --> 00:39:46,867 I'll be right back. 735 00:39:47,635 --> 00:39:49,537 Don't move. 736 00:39:51,639 --> 00:39:53,040 (GROANS) 737 00:40:09,365 --> 00:40:11,309 (CELL PHONE BUZZING) 738 00:40:21,836 --> 00:40:23,170 Hey, baby. 739 00:40:23,171 --> 00:40:25,005 WOMAN: Hi. What are you doing? 740 00:40:25,006 --> 00:40:26,548 Oh, I'm still working. 741 00:40:26,549 --> 00:40:30,953 WOMAN: Well, I'm not working. And I am so freaking hot. 742 00:40:32,388 --> 00:40:33,789 Um... 743 00:40:44,067 --> 00:40:47,803 MARK: I wish. What are you doing? 744 00:40:48,863 --> 00:40:51,932 Oh, baby, send me a picture, will you? 745 00:40:52,200 --> 00:40:53,784 Send me a few pictures. 746 00:40:53,785 --> 00:40:55,644 I'll send tons. 747 00:40:56,412 --> 00:40:59,748 We'll have the whole weekend in the Hamptons to work that out. 748 00:40:59,749 --> 00:41:01,333 I miss you. 749 00:41:01,334 --> 00:41:03,152 Oh, I miss you, too. 750 00:41:03,419 --> 00:41:05,253 I miss you. 751 00:41:05,254 --> 00:41:07,114 I miss you. 752 00:41:10,885 --> 00:41:14,455 I-I got to go. I got to go, baby. 753 00:41:22,313 --> 00:41:25,899 Bill, I told you, don't call me at night! 754 00:41:25,900 --> 00:41:27,968 I'll call you tomorrow. 755 00:41:28,903 --> 00:41:30,821 I'm sorry, honey. 756 00:41:30,822 --> 00:41:34,241 It's okay. The wine hit me wrong... I have a splitting headache. 757 00:41:34,242 --> 00:41:35,976 Really? 758 00:41:36,411 --> 00:41:39,496 Maybe I can make it go away, huh? 759 00:41:39,497 --> 00:41:41,899 Sorry, honey, not tonight. 760 00:42:05,523 --> 00:42:07,107 KATE: "Sorry for the tough love." 761 00:42:07,108 --> 00:42:09,702 "Do what you need to do. I support you"? 762 00:42:09,728 --> 00:42:11,862 Yeah, right. Bitch. 763 00:42:11,863 --> 00:42:13,780 - You okay? - Yep. 764 00:42:13,781 --> 00:42:16,199 You sure? You're talking to your phone. 765 00:42:16,200 --> 00:42:17,935 I'm fine. 766 00:42:18,786 --> 00:42:20,454 So, how's Carmela? 767 00:42:20,455 --> 00:42:22,523 - Bad! - How come? 768 00:42:23,291 --> 00:42:27,461 Because I said so. Why, do you like her? Because she is fired! 769 00:42:27,462 --> 00:42:29,546 What's going on with you? 770 00:42:29,547 --> 00:42:33,701 I'll take a stab and say it's because you realized feng shui is bullshit. 771 00:42:34,802 --> 00:42:36,912 You shouldn't pay for that. 772 00:42:37,305 --> 00:42:39,973 Okay, you know what? Feng shui rules. 773 00:42:39,974 --> 00:42:42,309 There are so many people in the world 774 00:42:42,310 --> 00:42:44,728 and in China who love feng shui. (SOBS) 775 00:42:44,729 --> 00:42:47,272 Feng shui is not what you think it is! 776 00:42:47,273 --> 00:42:49,983 And I hate that you keep saying it's dumb! 777 00:42:49,984 --> 00:42:51,234 I didn't mean it. 778 00:42:51,235 --> 00:42:53,820 Feng shui is good 'cause it's important... 779 00:42:53,821 --> 00:42:55,572 to know where to place things 780 00:42:55,573 --> 00:42:57,558 in order to make yourself feel better. 781 00:42:58,034 --> 00:42:59,435 (SOBBING) 782 00:42:59,494 --> 00:43:01,937 Katie. Sweetheart? 783 00:43:03,164 --> 00:43:04,664 Katie? 784 00:43:04,665 --> 00:43:06,166 What are you doing? What is that? 785 00:43:06,167 --> 00:43:07,667 See? See?! 786 00:43:07,668 --> 00:43:10,253 This is what happens when Carly makes 787 00:43:10,254 --> 00:43:13,073 me cry on the inside like a winner! 788 00:43:14,008 --> 00:43:15,675 Who's Carly? 789 00:43:15,676 --> 00:43:17,219 She's Mark's girlfriend... 790 00:43:17,220 --> 00:43:19,513 and not "friend friend," like "boning friend!" 791 00:43:19,514 --> 00:43:21,056 Mark's cheating on you?! 792 00:43:21,057 --> 00:43:22,599 Like fifty times at least. 793 00:43:22,600 --> 00:43:23,850 - Are you serious? - Or more! 794 00:43:23,851 --> 00:43:25,685 - With who? - Carmela! 795 00:43:25,686 --> 00:43:27,604 But her real name is Carly. 796 00:43:27,605 --> 00:43:29,924 Is this some Tyler Durden Fight Club thing? 797 00:43:30,358 --> 00:43:31,900 - Are you Carly? - No. 798 00:43:31,901 --> 00:43:33,193 Is anyone Carly? 799 00:43:33,194 --> 00:43:35,112 - Please focus. - I am focused! 800 00:43:35,113 --> 00:43:38,949 I don't want to keep explaining this. Carmela is Carly! 801 00:43:38,950 --> 00:43:41,201 The feng shui spatialist chick. 802 00:43:41,202 --> 00:43:42,937 - Yes. - Oh, my God! 803 00:43:44,539 --> 00:43:46,023 Are you okay? 804 00:43:46,040 --> 00:43:47,775 Yeah, I'm fine. 805 00:43:48,209 --> 00:43:51,128 I never liked that guy. I never liked him. 806 00:43:51,129 --> 00:43:55,215 I told you that before you married him. What a piece of shit! 807 00:43:55,216 --> 00:43:58,885 Did you know she was his mistress when she was in the house? 808 00:43:58,886 --> 00:44:01,721 I thought she was his ex-mistress, but... 809 00:44:01,722 --> 00:44:04,141 it turns out they're still seeing each other. 810 00:44:04,142 --> 00:44:05,684 That makes sense. 811 00:44:05,685 --> 00:44:07,310 I heard him on the phone with her... 812 00:44:07,311 --> 00:44:10,313 then he comes to me, "Oh, I have to go golfing." 813 00:44:10,314 --> 00:44:14,818 In Connecticut. "With the Canadian crew." Which is code. 814 00:44:14,819 --> 00:44:16,887 - For what? - Ca. 815 00:44:16,904 --> 00:44:19,223 - Ca? - Ca. 816 00:44:19,407 --> 00:44:21,241 - Ca? - Caaarly. 817 00:44:21,242 --> 00:44:24,411 Carly. Carmela. You're talking about Carmela. 818 00:44:24,412 --> 00:44:27,998 She doesn't even know that I know they're still together. 819 00:44:27,999 --> 00:44:29,916 She pretends to be my friend, 820 00:44:29,917 --> 00:44:31,918 but she's spying on me, like a double agent. 821 00:44:31,919 --> 00:44:33,336 And you let her because...? 822 00:44:33,337 --> 00:44:35,255 That's how you run a double agent. 823 00:44:35,256 --> 00:44:39,009 I don't even know if she's American. I don't even know. 824 00:44:39,010 --> 00:44:42,095 Katie, if she's full of shit, call her out on it. 825 00:44:42,096 --> 00:44:45,098 Deal with her. And then deal with the real problem. 826 00:44:45,099 --> 00:44:47,501 - Oh, Mark. - Yes! Mark. 827 00:44:47,935 --> 00:44:51,104 Yes. Okay. Right. Mmm-hmm. 828 00:44:51,105 --> 00:44:53,507 - Where are you going? - I don't know. 829 00:44:55,026 --> 00:44:56,484 I'm really happy we're doing this. 830 00:44:56,485 --> 00:44:58,262 Are you? 831 00:44:59,780 --> 00:45:02,199 - How do you feel? - I don't know. How do you feel? 832 00:45:02,200 --> 00:45:04,784 I fee like I owe you an apology for the other night. 833 00:45:04,785 --> 00:45:06,786 - Do you? - Yeah. 834 00:45:06,787 --> 00:45:09,289 Sometimes I can be more tough than love. 835 00:45:09,290 --> 00:45:10,774 Can you? 836 00:45:11,792 --> 00:45:15,529 Yeah. I just wanted to clear the air, and say that... 837 00:45:15,880 --> 00:45:19,049 whatever happens between you and Mark is your business. 838 00:45:19,050 --> 00:45:21,201 Oh, is it? 839 00:45:21,802 --> 00:45:23,678 Yeah. Are you okay? 840 00:45:23,679 --> 00:45:25,972 Are you still sleeping with my husband? 841 00:45:25,973 --> 00:45:28,042 - What? - You heard me. 842 00:45:28,392 --> 00:45:29,960 Unbelievable. 843 00:45:30,728 --> 00:45:32,646 I was crazy to think we could be friends. 844 00:45:32,647 --> 00:45:35,049 You don't get to walk out. You don't get to ice me out. 845 00:45:35,650 --> 00:45:37,817 - No. No. You can't... - What? What? 846 00:45:37,818 --> 00:45:40,570 You can't ice me out. I'm going to ice you out. 847 00:45:40,571 --> 00:45:42,405 Here's my ice shield. 848 00:45:42,406 --> 00:45:43,865 Then what, you pull out my weave? 849 00:45:43,866 --> 00:45:45,492 Just tell me the truth! 850 00:45:45,493 --> 00:45:48,662 You want to know the truth? Your husband sucks! 851 00:45:48,663 --> 00:45:53,567 I am not sleeping with him! And the fact you think I would, really hurts! 852 00:45:54,168 --> 00:45:56,670 Well, shit! I don't know! All I know is what 853 00:45:56,671 --> 00:45:59,339 I heard, and he's meeting somebody! 854 00:45:59,340 --> 00:46:01,883 Well, not me! So he must be cheating on both of us. 855 00:46:01,884 --> 00:46:04,386 Oh, my God, that's it! He's cheating on us! 856 00:46:04,387 --> 00:46:06,346 I was kidding about that. 857 00:46:06,347 --> 00:46:10,058 If he's not seeing you... I'm so sorry I said that, that sucks... 858 00:46:10,059 --> 00:46:13,728 but if he isn't seeing you, he's seeing someone else. 859 00:46:13,729 --> 00:46:16,398 Think about it. Between the two of us... 860 00:46:16,399 --> 00:46:19,526 he has the perfect woman. What else would he need? 861 00:46:19,527 --> 00:46:22,638 The one thing we're not giving him... sex. 862 00:46:36,377 --> 00:46:37,711 Katie? 863 00:46:37,712 --> 00:46:38,920 Time to go, sweetie. 864 00:46:38,921 --> 00:46:42,950 Okay. Are you all packed for your business meetings? 865 00:46:43,384 --> 00:46:45,494 I hate working on the weekends. 866 00:46:46,053 --> 00:46:48,831 I feel bad for you. Let me walk you out. 867 00:46:56,230 --> 00:46:57,897 Have a great weekend. 868 00:46:57,898 --> 00:46:59,733 You, too! 869 00:46:59,734 --> 00:47:01,468 Bye! 870 00:47:01,736 --> 00:47:04,138 - You look gorgeous today. - Thanks, honey. 871 00:47:05,406 --> 00:47:06,614 Safe flight! 872 00:47:06,615 --> 00:47:08,851 I'll call you when I get in. 873 00:47:09,243 --> 00:47:10,811 Don't forget. (ENGINE STARTS) 874 00:47:27,928 --> 00:47:29,955 (CELL PHONE CHIMING) 875 00:47:40,566 --> 00:47:42,551 (TIRES SCREECHING) 876 00:47:52,787 --> 00:47:56,690 Let's go! He's probably halfway there already! 877 00:47:56,999 --> 00:47:58,859 We're going to lose him. 878 00:47:58,959 --> 00:48:00,627 What's Thunder doing? 879 00:48:00,628 --> 00:48:03,864 No, no, no, no, no! Are you kidding me? No! 880 00:48:04,965 --> 00:48:06,132 Sorry. 881 00:48:06,133 --> 00:48:10,303 Jesus, that was... I think that might have been his balls. 882 00:48:10,304 --> 00:48:12,539 It was... Ugh! 883 00:48:55,224 --> 00:48:59,086 CARLY: I don't think we should rush into anything. What are you doing? 884 00:49:04,525 --> 00:49:08,011 When you're divvying up friends in the divorce, keep this one. 885 00:49:13,117 --> 00:49:15,785 You won't see anything through those hedges. 886 00:49:15,786 --> 00:49:19,539 You're being a very negative detective. Give me a boost up. 887 00:49:19,540 --> 00:49:22,025 KATE: Look, he won't catch us. 888 00:49:22,710 --> 00:49:24,419 (BOTH GRUNTING) 889 00:49:24,420 --> 00:49:26,113 KATE: Go higher. 890 00:49:28,132 --> 00:49:32,536 Oh, hell, no! Now he's crossed the line! 891 00:49:33,304 --> 00:49:35,138 What? What is it? 892 00:49:35,139 --> 00:49:36,723 It's a Jetta. 893 00:49:36,724 --> 00:49:38,308 - It's a Jetta! - So? 894 00:49:38,309 --> 00:49:40,477 Only young, hot girls drive Jettas! 895 00:49:40,478 --> 00:49:41,728 I had a Jetta. 896 00:49:41,729 --> 00:49:43,813 That's what I'm talking about. 897 00:49:43,814 --> 00:49:45,215 (BEEPING) 898 00:49:47,234 --> 00:49:48,635 (YELPS) 899 00:49:56,952 --> 00:49:58,520 Hi, there. 900 00:49:58,621 --> 00:50:01,831 I was out for a jog and my hammies locked up. 901 00:50:01,832 --> 00:50:05,001 When that happens, I have to stretch. 902 00:50:05,002 --> 00:50:06,252 CARLY: I'm not Gumby! 903 00:50:06,253 --> 00:50:08,546 Just pulled over for a little stretch. 904 00:50:08,547 --> 00:50:09,948 (GRUNTS) 905 00:50:11,300 --> 00:50:13,535 That feels so much better. 906 00:50:15,429 --> 00:50:18,999 Yup. That's a lot better. 907 00:50:20,267 --> 00:50:21,935 (MAN SPEAKING SPANISH) 908 00:50:21,936 --> 00:50:26,340 You got to stretch it out. Stretch it out. 909 00:50:26,857 --> 00:50:28,425 (GRUNTING) 910 00:50:35,699 --> 00:50:37,617 That is it! 911 00:50:37,618 --> 00:50:39,077 From now on, you have to tell me 912 00:50:39,078 --> 00:50:40,620 what we're doing, where we're going... 913 00:50:40,621 --> 00:50:43,456 and what's happening, 'cause I can't take it anymore! 914 00:50:43,457 --> 00:50:45,192 Let's go! 915 00:50:45,543 --> 00:50:47,444 Oh, God! 916 00:51:02,309 --> 00:51:06,479 PHIL: Well, well. Look who's here... the wife and the mistress. 917 00:51:06,480 --> 00:51:08,215 I'm not a mistress. 918 00:51:08,232 --> 00:51:10,149 Not technically, anyway. 919 00:51:10,150 --> 00:51:12,151 KATE: She comes in peace, so be nice. 920 00:51:12,152 --> 00:51:14,554 All right. Come on in. 921 00:51:15,239 --> 00:51:18,741 So can I ask, what the hell are you two up to? 922 00:51:18,742 --> 00:51:20,535 Don't say it's a social call, because you 923 00:51:20,536 --> 00:51:22,495 haven't been here since I bought the place. 924 00:51:22,496 --> 00:51:25,232 We think Mark has another mistress... we're going to find her. 925 00:51:25,233 --> 00:51:27,234 - What? - Mmm-hmm. 926 00:51:29,253 --> 00:51:33,073 And what do you plan on doing if you find this girl? 927 00:51:33,090 --> 00:51:37,274 Don't come at me with all your... weird little man logic, OK? 928 00:51:37,300 --> 00:51:42,607 This is a... one-day-at-a-time operation. Today is light recon day. 929 00:51:42,683 --> 00:51:45,419 A grappling hook? Really? 930 00:51:46,770 --> 00:51:48,338 Damn. 931 00:52:01,952 --> 00:52:04,537 Look, I don't know if you're here out of... 932 00:52:04,538 --> 00:52:06,247 morbid curiosity, or you and Kate 933 00:52:06,248 --> 00:52:08,191 are the weirdest friends ever... 934 00:52:08,208 --> 00:52:10,277 We are. The weirdest friends ever. 935 00:52:10,461 --> 00:52:12,128 But she's a good person. 936 00:52:12,129 --> 00:52:15,298 And though Mark's an asshole, they had something real. 937 00:52:15,299 --> 00:52:17,216 And when she's done running around with you, 938 00:52:17,217 --> 00:52:19,093 she'll realize that's gone. 939 00:52:19,094 --> 00:52:20,704 And it's going to suck. 940 00:52:20,971 --> 00:52:22,456 So... 941 00:52:22,640 --> 00:52:25,125 try not to make that part any worse for her. 942 00:52:25,809 --> 00:52:27,461 Okay. 943 00:52:30,147 --> 00:52:31,548 KATE: Okay. 944 00:52:31,815 --> 00:52:33,300 They are on the move. 945 00:52:33,901 --> 00:52:35,469 KATE: Okay. 946 00:52:35,569 --> 00:52:37,304 Nothing. 947 00:52:39,573 --> 00:52:41,308 Okay. 948 00:52:42,576 --> 00:52:44,869 - He's up! - CARLY: Really? What's he doing? 949 00:52:44,870 --> 00:52:46,313 - Kissing. - Uh-huh. 950 00:52:48,082 --> 00:52:49,499 KATE: Probably tongue. 951 00:52:49,500 --> 00:52:50,901 CARLY: Mmm-hmm. 952 00:52:51,085 --> 00:52:53,044 KATE: Probably enjoying. 953 00:52:53,045 --> 00:52:54,253 CARLY: Great. 954 00:52:54,254 --> 00:52:58,091 KATE: Okay, target is moving! Target is on the move. 955 00:52:58,092 --> 00:52:59,258 All right. 956 00:52:59,259 --> 00:53:03,471 Oh, he's wearing those cute shorts I got him for Christmas. Those look good on him. 957 00:53:03,472 --> 00:53:04,722 Okay. 958 00:53:04,723 --> 00:53:06,599 I can't believe you're not interested. 959 00:53:06,600 --> 00:53:08,309 Just promise when you meet her... 960 00:53:08,310 --> 00:53:11,938 you won't lose your shit like you did with me. Don't say you didn't. 961 00:53:11,939 --> 00:53:16,275 I did, because I was a mistress-virgin and you were the first. 962 00:53:16,276 --> 00:53:18,945 Now I'm all worn in like an old glove. 963 00:53:18,946 --> 00:53:21,139 She's getting up! 964 00:53:21,532 --> 00:53:22,933 (GASPS) 965 00:53:23,784 --> 00:53:25,352 Oh, my God. 966 00:53:25,786 --> 00:53:27,687 - Holy shit! - What? 967 00:53:28,080 --> 00:53:30,482 Oh, come on! 968 00:53:30,582 --> 00:53:32,083 What is that? 969 00:53:32,084 --> 00:53:34,335 Let me see. Let me see! 970 00:53:34,336 --> 00:53:36,587 Okay, but you're not going to like it. 971 00:53:36,588 --> 00:53:37,989 Ah! 972 00:53:46,306 --> 00:53:48,766 She makes me look like I'm wearing a diaper! 973 00:53:48,767 --> 00:53:50,643 You think she had that made? 974 00:53:50,644 --> 00:53:55,173 No. When you have a body like that, everything fits you perfectly. 975 00:54:01,989 --> 00:54:06,768 This is just so unoriginal, Mark! So cliché! 976 00:54:12,666 --> 00:54:15,042 She's the perfect ten lemon tart... 977 00:54:15,043 --> 00:54:16,169 Maybe an eleven. 978 00:54:16,170 --> 00:54:18,504 - double-D, natural double-D. - A triple-D. 979 00:54:18,505 --> 00:54:20,381 CARLY: It's like a midlife crisis mistress! 980 00:54:20,382 --> 00:54:23,634 She's like a cliché of every wife's waking nightmare! 981 00:54:23,635 --> 00:54:26,512 You have to admit, that's pretty good. Seriously. 982 00:54:26,513 --> 00:54:28,806 Okay, fine. She's beautiful. 983 00:54:28,807 --> 00:54:31,684 At some point you say... I play tennis, right? 984 00:54:31,685 --> 00:54:35,188 But if I play against John McEnroe, I expect to lose. 985 00:54:35,189 --> 00:54:36,814 - You know what? - Right? 986 00:54:36,815 --> 00:54:38,592 I am McEnroe! 987 00:54:38,692 --> 00:54:41,027 What are you doing?! 988 00:54:41,028 --> 00:54:44,097 Where are you going?! Wait! 989 00:54:44,198 --> 00:54:45,932 No! 990 00:54:46,700 --> 00:54:49,436 Stop! 991 00:54:52,873 --> 00:54:55,609 What happened to being calm?! 992 00:55:05,052 --> 00:55:06,719 Carly! 993 00:55:06,720 --> 00:55:08,246 Carly! 994 00:55:08,722 --> 00:55:11,124 Stop! 995 00:55:23,403 --> 00:55:26,072 CARLY: I can't believe he was cheating on me! 996 00:55:26,073 --> 00:55:28,533 KATE: Oh, boo-hoo! He cheated on me, too! 997 00:55:28,534 --> 00:55:31,077 CARLY: You're the wife! He's supposed to cheat on you! 998 00:55:31,078 --> 00:55:32,245 Oh, my God! 999 00:55:32,246 --> 00:55:34,413 Stop, you crazy housewife! 1000 00:55:34,414 --> 00:55:38,652 Stop the grappling! I'm strong when I'm mad! 1001 00:55:40,254 --> 00:55:42,322 (BOTH SCREAMING) 1002 00:55:43,715 --> 00:55:46,117 What's going on? 1003 00:55:48,804 --> 00:55:50,664 (BOTH PANTING) 1004 00:55:52,432 --> 00:55:54,000 BOTH: Hi. 1005 00:55:56,103 --> 00:55:58,771 I just can't believe he'd lie to me. 1006 00:55:58,772 --> 00:56:01,341 I really thought we were soul mates. 1007 00:56:01,608 --> 00:56:04,944 Oh, my God, I am so sorry. I can't believe I said that. 1008 00:56:04,945 --> 00:56:07,446 You're his soul mate. I'm a whore. 1009 00:56:07,447 --> 00:56:11,617 You must hate me so much. If it's any consolation, I hate me more. 1010 00:56:11,618 --> 00:56:14,120 I don't hate you. I don't hate you at all. 1011 00:56:14,121 --> 00:56:16,747 I got all that out of my system with that one. 1012 00:56:16,748 --> 00:56:20,585 You're so amazing, to be friends with your husband's mistress. 1013 00:56:20,586 --> 00:56:23,296 Yeah, it's like a dream come true. 1014 00:56:23,297 --> 00:56:27,091 Ignore her. She's working through some stuff right now. 1015 00:56:27,092 --> 00:56:31,470 She's kind of troubled. But you smell amazing. What is that? 1016 00:56:31,471 --> 00:56:33,331 I think it's just sweat. 1017 00:56:33,974 --> 00:56:36,601 The worst part about this is, you seem so nice... 1018 00:56:36,602 --> 00:56:39,270 and he had me believing you were the devil. 1019 00:56:39,271 --> 00:56:40,479 Wait, what? 1020 00:56:40,480 --> 00:56:43,425 He said you cheated on him, then asked for a divorce. 1021 00:56:43,650 --> 00:56:46,819 He said that... I was the cheater? 1022 00:56:46,820 --> 00:56:49,614 That's what he said? That I cheated? 1023 00:56:49,615 --> 00:56:50,823 I'm so sorry. 1024 00:56:50,824 --> 00:56:54,619 That is so... Okay. That's... What an asshole! 1025 00:56:54,620 --> 00:56:56,329 He's a liar, Kate. Who cares what he says? 1026 00:56:56,330 --> 00:56:58,331 Because it's not fair. 1027 00:56:58,332 --> 00:57:00,833 He made me the bad guy. And he's divorcing me? 1028 00:57:00,834 --> 00:57:02,960 You know it's not actually happening, right? 1029 00:57:02,961 --> 00:57:05,463 He could pick any scenario, and he picks that? 1030 00:57:05,464 --> 00:57:06,964 And makes me the villain? 1031 00:57:06,965 --> 00:57:09,634 And then divorces me for fake-cheating? 1032 00:57:09,635 --> 00:57:11,844 I shouldn't have told you. I'm so sorry. 1033 00:57:11,845 --> 00:57:14,472 It's not your fault I married a monster. 1034 00:57:14,473 --> 00:57:18,309 You are innocent in all this. Let's go back to Phil's. 1035 00:57:18,310 --> 00:57:19,518 Okay, let's go. 1036 00:57:19,519 --> 00:57:21,854 Wait! What am I supposed to do? You can't just leave me. 1037 00:57:21,855 --> 00:57:24,315 Mark will be back any minute! 1038 00:57:24,316 --> 00:57:25,983 - We'll get your number. - Can we keep her? 1039 00:57:25,984 --> 00:57:28,694 No, we can't keep her! We have a dog at home! 1040 00:57:28,695 --> 00:57:31,197 You pulled my hair, which is totally... 1041 00:57:31,198 --> 00:57:33,658 PHIL: Hey, hey, hey! 1042 00:57:33,659 --> 00:57:35,368 Watch what I taught Thunder. 1043 00:57:35,369 --> 00:57:36,895 Thunder, get me a beer. 1044 00:57:38,664 --> 00:57:40,539 - KATE: Unbelievable. - CARLY: Wow! 1045 00:57:40,540 --> 00:57:42,166 - KATE: That's crazy. - CARLY: It's a miracle. 1046 00:57:42,167 --> 00:57:44,648 - KATE: That dog is trying to break me. - CARLY: He really is. 1047 00:57:45,545 --> 00:57:47,046 Good boy. 1048 00:57:47,047 --> 00:57:49,282 So, how was the stalking? 1049 00:57:49,341 --> 00:57:51,217 Thunder! Traitor. 1050 00:57:51,218 --> 00:57:53,078 How'd it go, weirdo? 1051 00:57:53,345 --> 00:57:57,348 It was good! We ran on the beach, met Mark's new mistress... 1052 00:57:57,349 --> 00:57:58,557 CARLY: Amber. 1053 00:57:58,558 --> 00:57:59,850 Twenty-two, super hot. 1054 00:57:59,851 --> 00:58:01,060 Are you jealous? 1055 00:58:01,061 --> 00:58:03,896 No, I'm not jealous. I just don't have an insane girl crush. 1056 00:58:03,897 --> 00:58:05,648 I think it's good she's super hot. 1057 00:58:05,649 --> 00:58:07,525 It brings up our group average. 1058 00:58:07,526 --> 00:58:09,568 This isn't frickin' Sister Wives. 1059 00:58:09,569 --> 00:58:11,237 You sure you're not angry? 1060 00:58:11,238 --> 00:58:14,281 Letting it out is better than having to tell the cops you didn't mean to hug her to death. 1061 00:58:14,282 --> 00:58:15,366 (LAUGHS SARCASTICALLY) 1062 00:58:15,367 --> 00:58:18,411 You're so funny! You'll see when you meet her. 1063 00:58:18,412 --> 00:58:20,980 - What? When I meet her? - (LAUGHS) 1064 00:58:22,582 --> 00:58:24,000 KATE: Up high. 1065 00:58:24,001 --> 00:58:25,402 (LAUGHS) 1066 00:58:26,044 --> 00:58:27,545 You look so pretty! 1067 00:58:27,546 --> 00:58:28,963 AMBER: You look so pretty. 1068 00:58:28,964 --> 00:58:30,381 CARLY: It's really annoying. 1069 00:58:30,382 --> 00:58:31,991 PHIL: It's just bad. 1070 00:58:33,093 --> 00:58:35,261 What's that up there? 1071 00:58:35,262 --> 00:58:37,513 That's the best part of the house. 1072 00:58:37,514 --> 00:58:39,999 You'll like it. Come on. I'll show you. 1073 00:58:40,892 --> 00:58:42,393 KATE: You're such a good girl. 1074 00:58:42,394 --> 00:58:43,644 AMBER: Mark's an asshole! 1075 00:58:43,645 --> 00:58:45,171 KATE: He is. 1076 00:58:51,611 --> 00:58:53,346 Wow. 1077 00:59:03,623 --> 00:59:06,359 I know exactly what I would do with it. 1078 00:59:08,462 --> 00:59:11,964 I would put a coffee table right here... 1079 00:59:11,965 --> 00:59:14,868 so I could have my morning coffee. 1080 00:59:14,968 --> 00:59:18,637 You can't. There's too much morning sun. It would blast you. 1081 00:59:18,638 --> 00:59:22,876 No, this is where I would want to exist, right here... 1082 00:59:23,477 --> 00:59:25,211 looking at that. 1083 00:59:25,312 --> 00:59:26,713 You sure? 1084 00:59:27,314 --> 00:59:28,715 Yeah. 1085 00:59:29,649 --> 00:59:31,442 I'll think about it. 1086 00:59:31,443 --> 00:59:33,178 You better. 1087 00:59:33,820 --> 00:59:35,388 Okay. 1088 00:59:36,615 --> 00:59:39,142 (HIP HOP MUSIC PLAYING) 1089 00:59:49,461 --> 00:59:51,796 Kate might actually have a point about 1090 00:59:51,797 --> 00:59:54,365 her bringing up the group average. 1091 00:59:55,801 --> 00:59:58,010 Do you care if I smoke? 1092 00:59:58,011 --> 01:00:00,346 No! I kind of want one, too. 1093 01:00:00,347 --> 01:00:01,680 Since when do you smoke? 1094 01:00:01,681 --> 01:00:03,641 Since whenever I want to. 1095 01:00:03,642 --> 01:00:05,518 PHIL: This should be good. 1096 01:00:05,519 --> 01:00:07,186 If we find any more mistresses, 1097 01:00:07,187 --> 01:00:09,088 I'll have to send her to rehab. 1098 01:00:31,545 --> 01:00:32,946 (GROANS) 1099 01:00:40,220 --> 01:00:41,621 (SIGHS) 1100 01:00:43,390 --> 01:00:45,057 PHIL: Don't worry, we didn't hook up. 1101 01:00:45,058 --> 01:00:47,685 We didn't? Oh, thank God. 1102 01:00:47,686 --> 01:00:50,296 You took off your clothes to go skinny dipping. 1103 01:00:50,564 --> 01:00:52,106 Really? 1104 01:00:52,107 --> 01:00:53,732 You girls started in on the tequila... 1105 01:00:53,733 --> 01:00:55,802 and it all went downhill from there. 1106 01:00:56,361 --> 01:00:59,071 You wouldn't get dressed, so I buttoned you in backwards. 1107 01:00:59,072 --> 01:01:00,765 Shut up. 1108 01:01:01,074 --> 01:01:04,451 So let me get this straight. I came into your bed naked... 1109 01:01:04,452 --> 01:01:05,661 and tried to molest you, 1110 01:01:05,662 --> 01:01:09,915 so you made a straitjacket and a pillow fort to protect yourself from me. 1111 01:01:09,916 --> 01:01:11,442 Yeah. 1112 01:01:11,918 --> 01:01:14,086 (SIGHS) Oh, my God, I've hit rock bottom. 1113 01:01:14,087 --> 01:01:15,655 Nah. Don't worry about it. 1114 01:01:15,922 --> 01:01:18,007 We were pretty out of our heads, 1115 01:01:18,008 --> 01:01:20,326 and I like to think I'm a good guy, so... 1116 01:01:20,886 --> 01:01:24,163 So you needed the pillows to resist me. 1117 01:01:24,472 --> 01:01:27,166 Let's say I was hedging my willpower. 1118 01:01:29,769 --> 01:01:31,671 I'm going to take a shower. 1119 01:01:41,615 --> 01:01:43,349 Good morning! 1120 01:01:44,451 --> 01:01:45,852 What are you guys doing? 1121 01:01:46,286 --> 01:01:49,788 Phil went for a run and Amber's making frittatas. 1122 01:01:49,789 --> 01:01:53,125 Have you packed? I want to get on the road before traffic starts. 1123 01:01:53,126 --> 01:01:56,362 No, 'cause then I have to go home and deal with Mark. 1124 01:01:56,755 --> 01:01:58,631 I was thinking, what sucks... 1125 01:01:58,632 --> 01:02:02,927 is that he should be the one freaking out, not me. I didn't do anything. 1126 01:02:02,928 --> 01:02:06,931 Instead, he's totally fine and I'm sitting here with the two of you... 1127 01:02:06,932 --> 01:02:08,974 pretending not to know you... 1128 01:02:08,975 --> 01:02:12,436 and on top of it, I have to get my ducks in a row. 1129 01:02:12,437 --> 01:02:13,979 What do you want to do? 1130 01:02:13,980 --> 01:02:17,650 This may sound wrong, but I kind of want him to hurt. 1131 01:02:17,651 --> 01:02:19,610 I want to be the one... 1132 01:02:19,611 --> 01:02:21,612 who makes him start a new life 1133 01:02:21,613 --> 01:02:23,656 because I took it away from him. 1134 01:02:23,657 --> 01:02:27,159 I want him to feel what I feel, but worse. 1135 01:02:27,160 --> 01:02:29,729 So you're talking about maximum pain, right? 1136 01:02:29,955 --> 01:02:31,731 We should kick him in the balls! 1137 01:02:32,832 --> 01:02:35,084 That's like a really good thought, and 1138 01:02:35,085 --> 01:02:37,461 I like the way your brain works, but... 1139 01:02:37,462 --> 01:02:40,631 we're thinking about something a little bigger than that. 1140 01:02:40,632 --> 01:02:42,633 It doesn't matter anyway. 1141 01:02:42,634 --> 01:02:45,886 He's always going to wind up on top because he's a killer and I'm not. 1142 01:02:45,887 --> 01:02:48,013 That's not true. You're not alone. 1143 01:02:48,014 --> 01:02:49,682 - You have us. - Exactly. 1144 01:02:49,683 --> 01:02:52,059 Put the Lawyer, the Wife and the Boobs together... 1145 01:02:52,060 --> 01:02:53,644 you have a perfect killing machine. 1146 01:02:53,645 --> 01:02:54,853 Yes! I do? 1147 01:02:54,854 --> 01:02:57,356 I know how assholes do asshole-y things... 1148 01:02:57,357 --> 01:03:01,260 you know how Mark does everything, and Amber knows... 1149 01:03:02,696 --> 01:03:04,655 We'll find out what Amber knows. 1150 01:03:04,656 --> 01:03:05,864 What are you saying? 1151 01:03:05,865 --> 01:03:08,492 I'm saying that if you want to take him down... 1152 01:03:08,493 --> 01:03:11,537 then let's take him down. We have him surrounded. 1153 01:03:11,538 --> 01:03:12,621 Surrounded! 1154 01:03:12,622 --> 01:03:14,832 If we put our brains together... 1155 01:03:14,833 --> 01:03:16,792 The three of us... 1156 01:03:16,793 --> 01:03:18,820 can be just as shady as he can. 1157 01:03:19,004 --> 01:03:20,045 I am in. 1158 01:03:20,046 --> 01:03:22,115 - Are you in? - I'm in! 1159 01:03:47,240 --> 01:03:49,142 Hi, honey! 1160 01:03:52,746 --> 01:03:54,147 Mmm... 1161 01:03:56,207 --> 01:03:57,750 it tastes different today. 1162 01:03:57,751 --> 01:03:59,485 I added kiwi. 1163 01:04:00,754 --> 01:04:02,254 I like it. 1164 01:04:02,255 --> 01:04:03,948 I'll keep adding it! 1165 01:04:07,260 --> 01:04:09,662 (MOUTHING) Fuck you! Fuck you! 1166 01:04:32,577 --> 01:04:35,954 I was going crazy without you. I'm sorry for being a jerk. 1167 01:04:35,955 --> 01:04:38,791 No, no. You know what? I overreacted. 1168 01:04:38,792 --> 01:04:40,959 I did. I really did. 1169 01:04:40,960 --> 01:04:43,629 It's just that you were going to meet my dad... 1170 01:04:43,630 --> 01:04:45,214 and I've been so worried about him. 1171 01:04:45,215 --> 01:04:46,298 (CELL PHONE BUZZING) 1172 01:04:46,299 --> 01:04:48,967 He's going through so much with this divorce, and... 1173 01:04:48,968 --> 01:04:51,970 Sorry. Do you mind? I'll just be a sec. 1174 01:04:51,971 --> 01:04:53,706 No, that's fine. 1175 01:04:54,641 --> 01:04:56,167 Mike. 1176 01:04:58,311 --> 01:05:01,547 No, I was setting the mike. What do you want? 1177 01:05:08,780 --> 01:05:11,182 I love this tie. 1178 01:05:26,673 --> 01:05:28,574 Hold that thought. 1179 01:05:29,467 --> 01:05:31,244 (CLEARS TH THROAT) 1180 01:05:34,055 --> 01:05:37,474 I'm sorry. Um... where were we? 1181 01:05:37,475 --> 01:05:38,725 My dad's divorce. 1182 01:05:38,726 --> 01:05:40,294 Right. 1183 01:05:40,395 --> 01:05:42,354 - You're worried about him. - I am. 1184 01:05:42,355 --> 01:05:44,898 He's going to have to give this woman half his money. 1185 01:05:44,899 --> 01:05:47,693 Half of everything he has. 1186 01:05:47,694 --> 01:05:51,572 And she does nothing. Just lays around the house all day long. 1187 01:05:51,573 --> 01:05:53,740 He has been working his whole life... 1188 01:05:53,741 --> 01:05:57,244 and she is going to take half of it! It's not fair. 1189 01:05:57,245 --> 01:06:00,414 He can't give away what he doesn't have. 1190 01:06:00,415 --> 01:06:02,708 You mean he should hide his money? 1191 01:06:02,709 --> 01:06:04,751 Not hide. Lose. 1192 01:06:04,752 --> 01:06:06,821 I don't understand. 1193 01:06:07,213 --> 01:06:10,241 Maybe I should just tell him in person. 1194 01:06:11,384 --> 01:06:12,885 You would do that? 1195 01:06:12,886 --> 01:06:13,969 (GRUNTS) 1196 01:06:13,970 --> 01:06:16,455 (CHUCKLES) Whoa! 1197 01:06:16,848 --> 01:06:18,249 (GROANS) 1198 01:06:19,851 --> 01:06:21,852 - Are you okay? - Actually, no. 1199 01:06:21,853 --> 01:06:24,188 We should get out of here. Now. 1200 01:06:24,189 --> 01:06:26,591 - Really? - Please. 1201 01:06:35,658 --> 01:06:37,476 (FARTING) 1202 01:06:38,703 --> 01:06:39,870 Are you okay? 1203 01:06:39,871 --> 01:06:41,272 Something's not right. 1204 01:06:43,082 --> 01:06:44,708 You should go. I'll call you later. 1205 01:06:44,709 --> 01:06:46,710 Do you want me to wait for you? I don't mind. 1206 01:06:46,711 --> 01:06:49,113 No, it's fine. It's good. 1207 01:06:49,214 --> 01:06:51,699 Oh, shit! Oh! 1208 01:06:53,593 --> 01:06:55,494 Oh! Come on! 1209 01:06:56,763 --> 01:06:58,539 Oh! 1210 01:07:00,767 --> 01:07:02,501 (GROANING) 1211 01:07:05,813 --> 01:07:07,840 (FARTING) 1212 01:07:08,107 --> 01:07:10,134 (EXCLAIMING) 1213 01:07:12,070 --> 01:07:14,096 (GASPING) 1214 01:07:15,114 --> 01:07:16,782 (PANTING) Oh, God! 1215 01:07:16,783 --> 01:07:18,517 Oh! That was painful. 1216 01:07:20,119 --> 01:07:22,204 Oh, my God! 1217 01:07:22,205 --> 01:07:24,190 No! No! 1218 01:07:24,624 --> 01:07:26,817 (SOBBING) Oh, no. 1219 01:07:31,589 --> 01:07:33,324 Hey, buddy? 1220 01:07:34,634 --> 01:07:36,301 Can you help me out? 1221 01:07:36,302 --> 01:07:38,637 I need you to buy me some pants. 1222 01:07:38,638 --> 01:07:41,207 Things got really tough in here, huh? 1223 01:07:41,266 --> 01:07:45,503 I'm a 34-inch waist. The fit doesn't have to be perfect. I like blue. 1224 01:07:46,104 --> 01:07:47,479 Or green! 1225 01:07:47,480 --> 01:07:48,881 (FARTING) 1226 01:07:49,190 --> 01:07:51,008 You still there? 1227 01:07:53,278 --> 01:07:55,012 Hello? 1228 01:07:56,322 --> 01:07:57,723 (DOOR OPENS) 1229 01:07:58,032 --> 01:07:59,850 (BREATHING HEAVILY) 1230 01:08:07,000 --> 01:08:09,001 What happened to you? 1231 01:08:09,002 --> 01:08:11,670 I had a fecal incident. 1232 01:08:11,671 --> 01:08:14,089 I needed some pants and the only person 1233 01:08:14,090 --> 01:08:16,675 who didn't try to rob me was a hipster. 1234 01:08:16,676 --> 01:08:19,886 I'm sorry, did you say you had a fecal incident? 1235 01:08:19,887 --> 01:08:21,346 Like you pooped your pants? 1236 01:08:21,347 --> 01:08:25,251 Yes, Kate. Exactly like that. I shit my pants. 1237 01:08:25,476 --> 01:08:29,646 And you know what? It's about to happen again, so if you don't mind... 1238 01:08:29,647 --> 01:08:32,758 I'm going to go see if our toilet can take a punch. 1239 01:08:33,443 --> 01:08:35,636 (LAUGHING) 1240 01:08:36,029 --> 01:08:37,529 (INDISTINCT CONVERSATIONS) 1241 01:08:37,530 --> 01:08:39,724 (INDISTINCT SHOUTING) 1242 01:08:56,883 --> 01:08:58,951 - You found it! - I did. 1243 01:08:59,218 --> 01:09:00,953 Come sit down. 1244 01:09:01,054 --> 01:09:03,263 Is your shirt see-through? 1245 01:09:03,264 --> 01:09:06,600 The girl at the shop told me that sheer is the next big thing. 1246 01:09:06,601 --> 01:09:08,602 Your Indian girl didn't veto that? 1247 01:09:08,603 --> 01:09:11,839 Ah! I haven't seen her. We didn't have that twinkle. 1248 01:09:11,856 --> 01:09:13,565 I like sheer shirts. 1249 01:09:13,566 --> 01:09:15,760 Dad, this is Amber. 1250 01:09:16,361 --> 01:09:17,862 - Hi, Amber. - Hi. 1251 01:09:18,404 --> 01:09:20,347 Hi. Um... 1252 01:09:20,740 --> 01:09:22,558 Mmm... 1253 01:09:24,452 --> 01:09:26,520 I'm fine, thank you. 1254 01:09:27,914 --> 01:09:31,317 I'm really okay. Thank you. I hate being touched. 1255 01:09:31,376 --> 01:09:34,586 Where are we? Seriously. What is this, Saigon? 1256 01:09:34,587 --> 01:09:37,923 Don't make fun of 'Nam. Best years of my life. 1257 01:09:37,924 --> 01:09:40,258 This place is awesome. My neck was so tight. 1258 01:09:40,259 --> 01:09:43,261 - What's it called? - "No Hands." Isn't it great? 1259 01:09:43,262 --> 01:09:44,705 Watch this. 1260 01:09:45,515 --> 01:09:47,124 (SPEAKING MANDARIN) 1261 01:09:52,647 --> 01:09:54,981 You see? No hands. 1262 01:09:54,982 --> 01:09:57,109 I can't put my finger on it, 1263 01:09:57,110 --> 01:09:59,444 but there's something very wrong with that. 1264 01:09:59,445 --> 01:10:03,907 So, what's up? What's this big mystery you want me to solve? 1265 01:10:03,908 --> 01:10:05,450 Hypothetically... 1266 01:10:05,451 --> 01:10:07,619 if I wanted to protect my money 1267 01:10:07,620 --> 01:10:09,955 by "losing" it, what would I do? 1268 01:10:09,956 --> 01:10:11,690 Losing it? 1269 01:10:12,458 --> 01:10:15,001 You're not working with hypothetical Feds, are you? 1270 01:10:15,002 --> 01:10:17,170 No! Do you have a problem with the Feds? 1271 01:10:17,171 --> 01:10:18,296 Actually, don't tell me. 1272 01:10:18,297 --> 01:10:21,258 - What's this guy do? - He develops start-up companies. 1273 01:10:21,259 --> 01:10:23,552 Ah, the Chuzzlewit Pinch. 1274 01:10:23,553 --> 01:10:24,761 Oh. 1275 01:10:24,762 --> 01:10:26,888 He ain't losing money, he's robbing it. 1276 01:10:26,889 --> 01:10:28,140 Hmm... 1277 01:10:28,141 --> 01:10:31,669 I'll tell what you do... look for blind offshore filings. 1278 01:10:31,811 --> 01:10:34,646 Like in Switzerland or the Bahamas. 1279 01:10:34,647 --> 01:10:37,607 If I was going to "lose" money, that's where I'd do it. 1280 01:10:37,608 --> 01:10:39,552 Can I have another drink? 1281 01:10:40,153 --> 01:10:43,722 You okay, baby? You need my help on this? 1282 01:10:43,781 --> 01:10:47,393 No. I got this. 1283 01:10:51,330 --> 01:10:53,899 Stop frowning before you break your face. 1284 01:10:54,834 --> 01:10:55,959 Better? 1285 01:10:55,960 --> 01:10:59,796 That's your Evil Genius smile. Is somebody about to get screwed? 1286 01:10:59,797 --> 01:11:03,576 You screw me, I screw you back. I'm a lady like that. 1287 01:11:03,843 --> 01:11:05,578 (UPBEAT MUSIC PLAYING) 1288 01:11:07,054 --> 01:11:09,248 - A three-way? - Yeah. 1289 01:11:09,849 --> 01:11:11,141 I don't know. 1290 01:11:11,142 --> 01:11:12,543 Please? 1291 01:11:12,685 --> 01:11:15,754 Come on. You'll love Dana. 1292 01:11:15,855 --> 01:11:17,256 Dana? 1293 01:11:17,356 --> 01:11:22,595 It'll be so hot. I think it'd be a game changer for us. 1294 01:11:23,988 --> 01:11:26,182 (GROANS) 1295 01:11:28,493 --> 01:11:30,327 All right. If you really want to. 1296 01:11:30,328 --> 01:11:32,329 - Yay! Thank you! - (LAUGHS) 1297 01:11:32,330 --> 01:11:34,064 Dana! 1298 01:11:35,374 --> 01:11:37,568 - Baby, this is Dana. - Hmm? 1299 01:11:41,589 --> 01:11:42,714 What? 1300 01:11:42,715 --> 01:11:44,450 (GROANS AND SCREAMS) 1301 01:11:46,385 --> 01:11:48,621 I knew you'd love her! 1302 01:11:49,472 --> 01:11:50,873 Ah! 1303 01:11:59,732 --> 01:12:01,133 (GASPS) 1304 01:12:07,657 --> 01:12:09,058 Oh! 1305 01:12:10,535 --> 01:12:12,577 What the hell? 1306 01:12:12,578 --> 01:12:13,979 Kate! 1307 01:12:14,205 --> 01:12:16,440 - Kate! - Yes? 1308 01:12:16,874 --> 01:12:18,124 Look at this. 1309 01:12:18,125 --> 01:12:19,543 It looks like you put on weight. 1310 01:12:19,544 --> 01:12:22,279 Yes. And have you ever seen shit like this? 1311 01:12:22,714 --> 01:12:26,550 - What? Oh, yeah! - Don't do that. 1312 01:12:26,551 --> 01:12:27,569 - Are they sensitive? - Yes. 1313 01:12:27,595 --> 01:12:30,428 - Does that hurt? Tune in Tokyo. - Ah! 1314 01:12:30,429 --> 01:12:32,414 (LAUGHS) 1315 01:12:32,557 --> 01:12:35,501 You know what? It just looks like you're a little bloated. 1316 01:12:35,643 --> 01:12:36,810 Bloated? I have boobs! 1317 01:12:36,811 --> 01:12:40,438 These nipples look like they've done hard time in Africa feeding a village. 1318 01:12:40,439 --> 01:12:43,233 - You're overreacting. - They're straight out of the Congo! 1319 01:12:43,234 --> 01:12:44,776 Just tape them up. 1320 01:12:44,777 --> 01:12:47,946 No! I can't go to work with my tits taped! 1321 01:12:47,947 --> 01:12:50,349 - Where are you going? - To do push-ups. 1322 01:12:50,408 --> 01:12:52,450 Did you want this smoothie? 1323 01:12:52,451 --> 01:12:54,411 AMBER: He's back to sexting like a freak. 1324 01:12:54,412 --> 01:12:56,288 CARLY: I wish he stopped sending me pictures! 1325 01:12:56,289 --> 01:12:58,290 Picking up my phone is like being flashed on the subway. 1326 01:12:58,291 --> 01:13:02,127 KATE: Try living under the same roof with him. All I get is surprise penis. 1327 01:13:02,128 --> 01:13:06,256 - It's like his sex drive is tripled. - Non-stop, right? 1328 01:13:06,257 --> 01:13:09,092 - I thought you were giving him hormones. - I am! 1329 01:13:09,093 --> 01:13:11,303 Enough for a pre-op transsexual. 1330 01:13:11,304 --> 01:13:13,263 He must be taking Viagra. 1331 01:13:13,264 --> 01:13:14,791 Well, I don't know how much longer I can last... 1332 01:13:14,817 --> 01:13:17,934 because now sex is off the table... we have to speak to one another, 1333 01:13:17,935 --> 01:13:20,312 and I think he's getting a little suspicious. 1334 01:13:20,313 --> 01:13:22,047 - Really? - Yeah. 1335 01:13:22,148 --> 01:13:24,149 Maybe one of us should sleep with him. 1336 01:13:24,150 --> 01:13:26,151 Are you crazy? 1337 01:13:26,152 --> 01:13:28,278 Just to let some steam out of the pot. 1338 01:13:28,279 --> 01:13:30,822 No. Please keep the lid on the pot. 1339 01:13:30,823 --> 01:13:33,617 You don't think I can handle it? 1340 01:13:33,618 --> 01:13:36,020 You know what? I'll do it. 1341 01:13:36,329 --> 01:13:37,954 I'll take one for the team. 1342 01:13:37,955 --> 01:13:42,459 - No. You think he's an evil sociopath. - He is! But better me than you. 1343 01:13:42,460 --> 01:13:44,336 I can weather a little hate sex. 1344 01:13:44,337 --> 01:13:46,630 I'll do it. I don't have a lot of feelings. 1345 01:13:46,631 --> 01:13:47,839 Come on. 1346 01:13:47,840 --> 01:13:49,174 You guys have no faith in me. 1347 01:13:49,175 --> 01:13:51,134 I have a friend who could do it. 1348 01:13:51,135 --> 01:13:55,680 No, no, no. We are not hiring a hooker to sleep with my husband. 1349 01:13:55,681 --> 01:13:57,682 She's not a hooker. She's just a slut. 1350 01:13:57,683 --> 01:14:00,644 Okay, we're done here. I'm going to do it. 1351 01:14:00,645 --> 01:14:02,979 - I'm gonna do it. - If you do it, I do it. 1352 01:14:02,980 --> 01:14:04,189 Yeah, me too. 1353 01:14:04,190 --> 01:14:08,218 Fine. Rock, paper, scissors. Winner has sex with my husband. 1354 01:14:08,653 --> 01:14:10,153 Really? 1355 01:14:10,154 --> 01:14:11,696 It's the only way. 1356 01:14:11,697 --> 01:14:13,073 One time, or two out of three? 1357 01:14:13,074 --> 01:14:14,725 One time. 1358 01:14:20,998 --> 01:14:22,540 Well, Amber wins. 1359 01:14:22,541 --> 01:14:23,875 You okay with that? 1360 01:14:23,876 --> 01:14:27,571 Yeah. I couldn't be more okay. What? 1361 01:14:29,215 --> 01:14:31,075 (SOBBING) 1362 01:14:41,894 --> 01:14:44,797 You're so full of shit. 1363 01:14:46,399 --> 01:14:48,467 (RATTLING) 1364 01:14:49,735 --> 01:14:50,902 Kate! 1365 01:14:50,903 --> 01:14:52,304 Pst! 1366 01:14:54,198 --> 01:14:55,599 Hey! 1367 01:14:56,575 --> 01:14:57,909 Where have you been? 1368 01:14:57,910 --> 01:15:01,146 Are you okay? I've been trying you all day! 1369 01:15:01,247 --> 01:15:03,857 Can you open the door for me? 1370 01:15:03,958 --> 01:15:05,776 Wow. 1371 01:15:06,168 --> 01:15:07,986 (SOBBING) 1372 01:15:11,257 --> 01:15:13,659 What is going on? 1373 01:15:14,427 --> 01:15:16,161 Wow. 1374 01:15:16,262 --> 01:15:18,288 This is what it's come to, huh? 1375 01:15:19,056 --> 01:15:22,334 I think I'm having a nervous breakdown. 1376 01:15:25,771 --> 01:15:28,340 Is it ever going to get any easier? 1377 01:15:28,774 --> 01:15:30,175 (SIGHS) 1378 01:15:30,401 --> 01:15:33,137 Yeah. It will. 1379 01:15:34,071 --> 01:15:35,639 When? 1380 01:15:36,240 --> 01:15:39,284 Well, it's going to suck for a little while. 1381 01:15:39,285 --> 01:15:41,687 Then it's going to suck a little less. 1382 01:15:41,787 --> 01:15:45,858 And then one day that ring will just be a ring. 1383 01:15:46,125 --> 01:15:51,196 You'll take it off and it'll just be something you used to wear. 1384 01:15:51,797 --> 01:15:53,824 I hope so. 1385 01:15:58,429 --> 01:15:59,637 MARK: Katie? 1386 01:15:59,638 --> 01:16:01,639 - He's supposed to be with Amber! - Shit! 1387 01:16:01,640 --> 01:16:03,041 MARK: I'm home! 1388 01:16:03,642 --> 01:16:06,044 No, there's no room under the bed. 1389 01:16:12,193 --> 01:16:14,652 No, I can see you. Go out the window. 1390 01:16:14,653 --> 01:16:16,112 Go out the window. 1391 01:16:16,113 --> 01:16:17,155 MARK: Honey? 1392 01:16:17,156 --> 01:16:18,698 CARLY: I'm not going out the window! 1393 01:16:18,699 --> 01:16:20,476 (STUTTERING) 1394 01:16:21,452 --> 01:16:24,396 No! You can't get in there. I'm ticklish. 1395 01:16:26,207 --> 01:16:29,401 Hi, sweetie! You're home early! 1396 01:16:30,044 --> 01:16:32,712 I canceled. What's all this? 1397 01:16:32,713 --> 01:16:36,742 Oh, you know, sometimes I like to put on my dress. 1398 01:16:37,510 --> 01:16:39,177 - It's pretty. - You do? 1399 01:16:39,178 --> 01:16:43,223 You know when you just feel like, "Normal clothes are blah"... 1400 01:16:43,224 --> 01:16:46,184 and you're just like, "I wish I had a costume!" 1401 01:16:46,185 --> 01:16:47,920 You know when you get like that? 1402 01:16:48,145 --> 01:16:50,547 - No. Not really. - No? 1403 01:16:51,023 --> 01:16:53,926 Why don't you come to my investor dinner this weekend? 1404 01:16:53,984 --> 01:16:57,862 We'll get dressed up and you can see... what I'm doing with all your great ideas. 1405 01:16:57,863 --> 01:16:59,231 Okay! 1406 01:16:59,323 --> 01:17:01,699 MARK: I'll get us some drinks. Scotch okay? 1407 01:17:01,700 --> 01:17:04,269 That'd be perfect, thank you. 1408 01:17:04,870 --> 01:17:06,271 Get out! 1409 01:17:08,874 --> 01:17:10,609 Be careful. 1410 01:17:10,709 --> 01:17:12,444 Hold on! Wait, wait! 1411 01:17:12,711 --> 01:17:14,696 Ah! (GRUNTS) 1412 01:17:14,839 --> 01:17:16,573 Sorry! 1413 01:17:19,760 --> 01:17:21,161 Ow! 1414 01:17:21,345 --> 01:17:23,580 (INDISTINCT CONVERSATIONS) 1415 01:17:28,727 --> 01:17:30,536 - Big year. Great job. - Thanks. 1416 01:17:30,537 --> 01:17:32,355 Kate, you remember my partner, Nick. 1417 01:17:32,356 --> 01:17:34,399 Yes! Hi. It's been ages. 1418 01:17:34,400 --> 01:17:35,942 Good to see you again. 1419 01:17:35,943 --> 01:17:40,572 This is Cece. Kate's the one who had the idea for SwipeSwitch.com. 1420 01:17:40,573 --> 01:17:43,116 Oh, my God! I am obsessed with that idea. 1421 01:17:43,117 --> 01:17:45,243 I can't wait for the site to go up. 1422 01:17:45,244 --> 01:17:48,246 Wow! Thank you. That really means a lot. 1423 01:17:48,247 --> 01:17:50,456 - She's my little idea factory. - (LAUGHS) 1424 01:17:50,457 --> 01:17:52,542 Maybe you should ask her about ServiceCircuit. 1425 01:17:52,543 --> 01:17:54,085 Is that still circling the drain? 1426 01:17:54,086 --> 01:17:58,298 More like the toilet. But the potential's there... we could make it work. 1427 01:17:58,299 --> 01:17:59,866 How much? 1428 01:18:00,426 --> 01:18:01,868 Two million. 1429 01:18:03,596 --> 01:18:04,971 We'll talk about it. 1430 01:18:04,972 --> 01:18:07,640 But if two million doesn't work, we shut it down. 1431 01:18:07,641 --> 01:18:09,100 Thanks. I appreciate it. 1432 01:18:09,101 --> 01:18:12,604 You made us a ton of money this year. Nobody bats a thousand. 1433 01:18:12,605 --> 01:18:13,813 True. 1434 01:18:13,814 --> 01:18:16,316 On that happy note, who needs a drink? 1435 01:18:16,317 --> 01:18:17,884 I do. 1436 01:18:18,944 --> 01:18:20,153 You want another? 1437 01:18:20,154 --> 01:18:21,680 Sure. 1438 01:18:22,615 --> 01:18:24,516 See you in a bit. 1439 01:18:26,911 --> 01:18:29,287 - She's lovely. - She is. 1440 01:18:29,288 --> 01:18:30,496 Is it serious? 1441 01:18:30,497 --> 01:18:32,024 Uh, no. 1442 01:18:32,333 --> 01:18:34,792 Well, I was sorry to hear about you and Julie. 1443 01:18:34,793 --> 01:18:36,252 Me, too. 1444 01:18:36,253 --> 01:18:39,297 But the lawyers say it's all very amicable. 1445 01:18:39,298 --> 01:18:41,424 So fake it until you make it. 1446 01:18:41,425 --> 01:18:42,675 Something like that. 1447 01:18:42,676 --> 01:18:43,843 MARK: Katie! 1448 01:18:43,844 --> 01:18:45,704 (MOUTHING) Come on. 1449 01:18:47,056 --> 01:18:48,874 (GIGGLING) 1450 01:18:49,600 --> 01:18:52,169 Oh, this is beautiful! 1451 01:18:53,479 --> 01:18:55,547 - Wow. - Mmm. 1452 01:18:58,108 --> 01:18:59,509 (SIGHS) 1453 01:18:59,818 --> 01:19:01,678 - Whoa! - Nice. 1454 01:19:02,154 --> 01:19:04,139 (BOTH SIGH) 1455 01:19:04,323 --> 01:19:06,391 This is pretty. 1456 01:19:07,326 --> 01:19:09,327 - Hmm. - Hmm. 1457 01:19:09,328 --> 01:19:11,579 Did you ever think when we had that shitty 1458 01:19:11,580 --> 01:19:15,500 little apartment on Charles Street that we'd end up here? 1459 01:19:15,501 --> 01:19:19,629 That wasn't a shitty apartment. That was a great apartment. 1460 01:19:19,630 --> 01:19:22,340 Remember how tiny it was? 1461 01:19:22,341 --> 01:19:25,009 And we had the bathroom in the kitchen? 1462 01:19:25,010 --> 01:19:28,179 And every time I flushed the toilet, the shower got cold? 1463 01:19:28,180 --> 01:19:30,165 - I hated it. - (CHUCKLES) 1464 01:19:31,016 --> 01:19:33,351 I loved that apartment. 1465 01:19:33,352 --> 01:19:37,313 It just seems like everything was so simple then. You know? 1466 01:19:37,314 --> 01:19:38,481 Mmm-hmm. 1467 01:19:38,482 --> 01:19:40,400 I was happy. 1468 01:19:40,401 --> 01:19:42,969 - And I just wanted you to be happy. - I am. 1469 01:19:44,571 --> 01:19:46,306 Are you? 1470 01:19:47,241 --> 01:19:49,601 You can tell me. I won't be mad. 1471 01:19:49,868 --> 01:19:53,438 I wouldn't even be me without you. 1472 01:19:54,373 --> 01:19:56,942 I might not always get it right, but... 1473 01:19:57,376 --> 01:20:00,946 I'm exactly where I want to be. 1474 01:20:02,548 --> 01:20:04,616 Do you promise? 1475 01:20:08,053 --> 01:20:10,346 I'm so glad you're here. We have so much to tell you! 1476 01:20:10,347 --> 01:20:12,890 Major breakthroughs. 1477 01:20:12,891 --> 01:20:13,933 What is all this? 1478 01:20:13,934 --> 01:20:15,727 Amber got Mark's password off the nanny cam. 1479 01:20:15,728 --> 01:20:18,271 Hacked into his computer the night she was supposed to have sex with him. 1480 01:20:18,272 --> 01:20:19,950 - You saw him? - He came over after work 1481 01:20:19,976 --> 01:20:22,556 - and he had his computer with him. - Did you have sex? 1482 01:20:22,582 --> 01:20:26,946 No! I know I said I would, but you looked so sad when I won, I couldn't. 1483 01:20:26,947 --> 01:20:29,907 I chickened out and said I had Chlamydia! 1484 01:20:29,908 --> 01:20:32,952 That's right, bitch! Chlamydia! 1485 01:20:32,953 --> 01:20:35,522 He can't have sex till he finishes his Z-Pak! 1486 01:20:36,081 --> 01:20:38,750 CARLY: Mark's not just a cheating scumbag. He's also a thief. 1487 01:20:38,751 --> 01:20:42,253 Look what I found. This is a list of all the start-up companies... 1488 01:20:42,254 --> 01:20:46,090 Mark's invested in. Three are offshore and one's a blind filing. 1489 01:20:46,091 --> 01:20:49,761 No board of directors, a P.O. box for an address... 1490 01:20:49,762 --> 01:20:52,388 and it's been operating at a total loss in the Bahamas. 1491 01:20:52,389 --> 01:20:54,307 ServiceCircuit. This is it, Kate. 1492 01:20:54,308 --> 01:20:57,560 That can't be right. Mark was talking about ServiceCircuit last night. 1493 01:20:57,561 --> 01:20:59,479 They're putting more money into it. 1494 01:20:59,480 --> 01:21:00,980 That's part of the con. 1495 01:21:00,981 --> 01:21:03,941 - We just need to find the bank he's using. - KATE: I was with the board last night. 1496 01:21:03,942 --> 01:21:07,111 They seem really happy. Mark is making them rich! 1497 01:21:07,112 --> 01:21:10,990 He's stealing, Kate. Making money for them is the way he does it. 1498 01:21:10,991 --> 01:21:12,851 Kate, what's going on? 1499 01:21:12,993 --> 01:21:17,397 Nothing. I just think it's more complicated than we thought. 1500 01:21:18,791 --> 01:21:20,625 You slept with him, didn't you. 1501 01:21:20,626 --> 01:21:23,169 One night, and you go back to being a Stepford? 1502 01:21:23,170 --> 01:21:24,504 What am I supposed to do? 1503 01:21:24,505 --> 01:21:27,465 He must have literally screwed your brains out! 1504 01:21:27,466 --> 01:21:31,177 So what? Maybe you just have to forgive people in order to move forward. 1505 01:21:31,178 --> 01:21:33,137 But he didn't ask for forgiveness, did he? 1506 01:21:33,138 --> 01:21:36,015 If you had something to lose, you'd understand how hard this is. 1507 01:21:36,016 --> 01:21:39,143 - Like what, a cheating husband of my own? - Both of you, stop. 1508 01:21:39,144 --> 01:21:42,814 Things shifted this weekend. It was different. You don't know. 1509 01:21:42,815 --> 01:21:44,382 Really? 1510 01:21:47,528 --> 01:21:50,321 - What are you doing? - Seeing if Mark wants to hang out. 1511 01:21:50,322 --> 01:21:52,949 - What's wrong with you? - KATE: Everything! 1512 01:21:52,950 --> 01:21:54,283 Everything is wrong with you. 1513 01:21:54,284 --> 01:21:59,898 And I feel like an idiot for trusting you over him. I am done! 1514 01:22:04,002 --> 01:22:05,903 Kate, wait. 1515 01:22:06,630 --> 01:22:08,406 (CELL PHONE CHIMES) 1516 01:22:13,846 --> 01:22:15,580 (HORN HONKING) 1517 01:22:47,671 --> 01:22:49,881 Nothing from Amber, either? 1518 01:22:49,882 --> 01:22:53,618 No. And I feel like if Amber won't talk to me, then... 1519 01:22:53,719 --> 01:22:55,787 obviously I did something wrong. 1520 01:22:56,555 --> 01:22:58,514 I think you're being hard on yourself. 1521 01:22:58,515 --> 01:23:00,417 I can't tell. (CHUCKLES) 1522 01:23:01,393 --> 01:23:06,355 I care so much, and then it just comes out so harsh. 1523 01:23:06,356 --> 01:23:09,801 You know, what the hell do you know? You get it wrong all the time. 1524 01:23:13,197 --> 01:23:14,614 Sorry. 1525 01:23:14,615 --> 01:23:16,866 I'm usually a fun date. I am. 1526 01:23:16,867 --> 01:23:20,946 I'm having fun. Not a lot of it, but some. 1527 01:23:22,873 --> 01:23:25,583 You should think about being nicer to me... 1528 01:23:25,584 --> 01:23:28,486 'cause I'm not certain I really like you yet. 1529 01:23:28,921 --> 01:23:30,087 I think you like me. 1530 01:23:30,088 --> 01:23:31,339 Do I? 1531 01:23:31,340 --> 01:23:32,991 (LAUGHS) 1532 01:23:41,099 --> 01:23:42,500 Hmm. 1533 01:23:42,684 --> 01:23:43,768 (COUGHING) 1534 01:23:43,769 --> 01:23:45,853 I'm sorry. I'm sorry. 1535 01:23:45,854 --> 01:23:47,255 Oh! 1536 01:23:47,439 --> 01:23:50,066 Don't get too close to me. I think I'm getting sick. 1537 01:23:50,067 --> 01:23:51,801 What's wrong? 1538 01:23:52,277 --> 01:23:54,904 I went to the doctor. He gave me a Z-Pak. 1539 01:23:54,905 --> 01:23:58,741 He said there's something nasty going around, and you should take one, too. 1540 01:23:58,742 --> 01:24:00,076 That's for you. 1541 01:24:00,077 --> 01:24:02,078 A Z-Pak? I'm not sick, though. 1542 01:24:02,079 --> 01:24:06,483 Well, that's why you take it beforehand, so you don't get sick. It's prophylactic. 1543 01:24:14,925 --> 01:24:18,703 Oh, honey? I need you to sign some papers for me. 1544 01:24:18,804 --> 01:24:23,140 If you could, do it today. No need to read it... it's just the usual stuff. 1545 01:24:23,141 --> 01:24:28,479 It's boring stuff from the accountant. ServiceCircuit again. 1546 01:24:28,480 --> 01:24:32,550 Plus, I'm traveling to Miami and the Bahamas. 1547 01:24:34,653 --> 01:24:37,847 Did you just say something about the Bahamas? 1548 01:24:54,881 --> 01:24:58,050 - (SNIFFLES) I'm sorry. - Oh, I feel so awful. 1549 01:24:58,051 --> 01:25:02,346 No, you were right about everything. And he's still lying to me. 1550 01:25:02,347 --> 01:25:04,098 He's still treating me like I'm blind. 1551 01:25:04,099 --> 01:25:06,126 - And I'm not. - You're not. 1552 01:25:07,811 --> 01:25:08,894 (SNIFFLES) 1553 01:25:08,895 --> 01:25:13,524 I found this... wire transfer instructions for a company in the Bahamas. 1554 01:25:13,525 --> 01:25:15,401 Mark is flying down this week. 1555 01:25:15,402 --> 01:25:17,570 You said we just had to find out where 1556 01:25:17,571 --> 01:25:19,864 he banks, so let's go to the Bahamas... 1557 01:25:19,865 --> 01:25:21,741 and let's get him! 1558 01:25:21,742 --> 01:25:26,312 Kate, I'm sorry, but I can't. 1559 01:25:26,413 --> 01:25:29,040 I can't stay in this Mark moment forever. 1560 01:25:29,041 --> 01:25:33,419 I can't. If I'm investigating him or I go to the Bahamas... 1561 01:25:33,420 --> 01:25:35,822 then I'm still involved, and... 1562 01:25:37,090 --> 01:25:39,826 and I just can't do that anymore. 1563 01:25:40,135 --> 01:25:41,870 I'm sorry. 1564 01:25:42,721 --> 01:25:46,124 No, okay. I get it. Okay. 1565 01:25:47,225 --> 01:25:49,627 Okay. I just, um... 1566 01:25:49,770 --> 01:25:51,171 - Hey. - Hmm? 1567 01:25:52,314 --> 01:25:53,715 Thank you. 1568 01:25:54,066 --> 01:25:55,467 For what? 1569 01:25:55,817 --> 01:25:59,554 For basically forcing me to be your friend. 1570 01:25:59,821 --> 01:26:03,157 You wanted to be friends, too. You just didn't know it. 1571 01:26:03,158 --> 01:26:04,909 Yeah, well... 1572 01:26:04,910 --> 01:26:06,895 You jumped out a window for me. 1573 01:26:07,079 --> 01:26:08,412 You pushed me. 1574 01:26:08,413 --> 01:26:09,747 I shoved you. 1575 01:26:09,748 --> 01:26:11,983 (BOTH LAUGHING) Hard, too. 1576 01:26:13,001 --> 01:26:15,570 Okay. I'll keep you in the loop? 1577 01:26:16,088 --> 01:26:17,655 Okay. 1578 01:26:17,756 --> 01:26:19,324 Bye. 1579 01:26:21,593 --> 01:26:24,079 (SIGHS) 1580 01:26:29,976 --> 01:26:31,377 (SNIFFS) 1581 01:26:39,820 --> 01:26:42,055 I'll be damned. 1582 01:26:46,618 --> 01:26:48,436 (INDISTINCT CONVERSATIONS) 1583 01:26:54,501 --> 01:26:57,278 - AMBER AND CARLY: Kate! Kate! - (WHISTLES) 1584 01:27:01,299 --> 01:27:03,868 You guys came! 1585 01:27:05,595 --> 01:27:07,205 (LAUGHING) 1586 01:27:08,473 --> 01:27:11,350 You think we could let a sister down? 1587 01:27:11,351 --> 01:27:14,087 We're getting the band back together. 1588 01:27:14,354 --> 01:27:16,188 CARLY: Those bank transfers you gave me... 1589 01:27:16,189 --> 01:27:20,151 were for ServiceCircuit. Guess whose signature is all over them? 1590 01:27:20,152 --> 01:27:23,154 - KATE: Mark's. - No! Yours! You're the CEO. 1591 01:27:23,155 --> 01:27:26,866 He used you to create the company and put everything in your name. 1592 01:27:26,867 --> 01:27:30,745 He's neck-deep in fraud and if anything goes down, they'll come after you first! 1593 01:27:30,746 --> 01:27:33,956 - You're his fall guy! - You could go to jail! 1594 01:27:33,957 --> 01:27:35,875 I can't go to jail! No, no, no. 1595 01:27:35,876 --> 01:27:37,293 Turn the car around! 1596 01:27:37,294 --> 01:27:38,836 No one's going to jail. 1597 01:27:38,837 --> 01:27:40,087 I am not Martha Stewart! 1598 01:27:40,088 --> 01:27:43,549 I will wind up in gen pop. Turn around. 1599 01:27:43,550 --> 01:27:47,219 I can't join a gang! I don't know how to make shanks! 1600 01:27:47,220 --> 01:27:51,015 I have soft hands and a small mouth. I will be the bottom! 1601 01:27:51,016 --> 01:27:52,600 Where are you going? 1602 01:27:52,601 --> 01:27:55,019 - I don't want to make license plates! - CARLY: You won't go to jail. 1603 01:27:55,020 --> 01:27:56,604 Turn the car around! 1604 01:27:56,605 --> 01:27:59,674 Go back! Go back! 1605 01:27:59,775 --> 01:28:01,609 My name's all over everything! 1606 01:28:01,610 --> 01:28:05,946 That's the good news! Your name's on everything. 1607 01:28:05,947 --> 01:28:09,533 What are you talking about? Do you know what she means? 1608 01:28:09,534 --> 01:28:12,036 CARLY: We need to find Mark and his bank. 1609 01:28:12,037 --> 01:28:16,149 - KATE: I know Mark is at the One and Only. - CARLY: Perfect, we're halfway there! 1610 01:28:32,057 --> 01:28:33,390 You see him? 1611 01:28:33,391 --> 01:28:34,600 Not yet. 1612 01:28:34,601 --> 01:28:36,143 How do you know he's here? 1613 01:28:36,144 --> 01:28:37,728 GPS does not lie. 1614 01:28:37,729 --> 01:28:39,230 AMBER: I think I see a dolphin! 1615 01:28:39,231 --> 01:28:41,341 I got him! I got him! 1616 01:28:51,743 --> 01:28:54,479 Right there. Twelve o'clock. 1617 01:28:55,288 --> 01:28:58,483 CARLY: Okay, what are we looking for? What's the clue? 1618 01:28:59,751 --> 01:29:01,126 KATE: How about that clue? 1619 01:29:01,127 --> 01:29:03,420 AMBER: He's taken this shit international! 1620 01:29:03,421 --> 01:29:06,257 KATE: Oh, come on. 1621 01:29:06,258 --> 01:29:10,302 Every time I look through binoculars, he has another mistress. 1622 01:29:10,303 --> 01:29:12,096 You think he has more than one here? 1623 01:29:12,097 --> 01:29:15,500 CARLY: Who cares? Where else has he traveled? Please don't tell me Thailand. 1624 01:29:15,600 --> 01:29:19,019 KATE: Why can't he stuff it into a tube sock like a normal guy? 1625 01:29:19,020 --> 01:29:21,005 I have so many lotions at the house. 1626 01:29:47,883 --> 01:29:49,492 (CAR DOOR CLOSES) 1627 01:29:53,189 --> 01:29:56,140 KATE: Oh, there it is... the end of the road. 1628 01:29:57,142 --> 01:29:59,184 Well, if we don't leave until tomorrow, 1629 01:29:59,185 --> 01:30:02,547 I say it's our turn to take this shit international. 1630 01:30:03,815 --> 01:30:06,467 (PLAYING CALYPSO MUSIC) 1631 01:30:22,834 --> 01:30:24,209 (CROWD CHEERING) 1632 01:30:24,210 --> 01:30:26,112 (WHOOPING) 1633 01:30:28,006 --> 01:30:30,616 (CHEERING) 1634 01:30:31,176 --> 01:30:32,635 That was so much fun! 1635 01:30:32,636 --> 01:30:34,345 So much fun! 1636 01:30:34,346 --> 01:30:36,847 Can we get three punches, please? 1637 01:30:36,848 --> 01:30:38,583 Three punches. 1638 01:30:39,434 --> 01:30:40,835 (SIGHS) 1639 01:30:41,686 --> 01:30:43,187 Come join me. 1640 01:30:43,188 --> 01:30:45,064 - (LAUGHS) Me? - Yeah, you. 1641 01:30:45,065 --> 01:30:46,690 Come join me. 1642 01:30:46,691 --> 01:30:49,927 - What? No. (LAUGHING) - (MOUTHING) Go. 1643 01:30:54,366 --> 01:30:56,768 Who you sending the selfie to? 1644 01:30:57,869 --> 01:30:59,870 I just started seeing someone. 1645 01:30:59,871 --> 01:31:02,039 Mmm. Yeah? 1646 01:31:02,040 --> 01:31:05,918 It's completely crazy, and I don't know where it's going... 1647 01:31:05,919 --> 01:31:08,446 but we just have that twinkle. 1648 01:31:10,882 --> 01:31:12,450 Right. 1649 01:31:14,386 --> 01:31:16,095 I do know. 1650 01:31:16,096 --> 01:31:18,122 (CHUCKLES) You know what? 1651 01:31:18,556 --> 01:31:22,126 The best thing to do is just not think about it too hard. 1652 01:31:22,560 --> 01:31:26,631 As long as it works, it doesn't really matter why. 1653 01:31:28,358 --> 01:31:29,759 KATE: Hey! 1654 01:31:30,735 --> 01:31:32,987 (LAUGHING) 1655 01:31:32,988 --> 01:31:35,239 (MUMBLING) 1656 01:31:35,240 --> 01:31:37,366 Oh, God. (BOTH LAUGHING) 1657 01:31:37,367 --> 01:31:39,493 (LAUGHING) 1658 01:31:39,494 --> 01:31:40,895 (SCREAMS) 1659 01:31:46,751 --> 01:31:48,152 (SIGHS) 1660 01:34:20,905 --> 01:34:22,306 (SIGHS) 1661 01:35:35,980 --> 01:35:38,132 - Hi, can I help you? - I can help you! 1662 01:35:38,316 --> 01:35:39,717 (CHUCKLES) 1663 01:35:39,734 --> 01:35:41,485 Mark King to see Miss Whitten. 1664 01:35:41,486 --> 01:35:43,721 LYDIA: Mark? Hi. 1665 01:35:43,988 --> 01:35:46,323 Are you the famous Mark? 1666 01:35:46,324 --> 01:35:47,574 I must be. You are...? 1667 01:35:47,575 --> 01:35:49,260 Lydia. 1668 01:35:49,327 --> 01:35:52,396 I get it. Things are coming into focus. 1669 01:35:52,497 --> 01:35:53,830 Good things, I hope. 1670 01:35:53,831 --> 01:35:55,249 Yeah, of course. 1671 01:35:55,250 --> 01:35:58,402 Miss Whitten asked if you would wait in the conference room. 1672 01:35:58,503 --> 01:36:00,337 - Ah... - Right this way. 1673 01:36:00,338 --> 01:36:01,739 (CHUCKLES) 1674 01:36:16,229 --> 01:36:17,630 Ugh. 1675 01:36:21,859 --> 01:36:22,943 Hi, Mark. 1676 01:36:22,944 --> 01:36:24,345 (GROANS) 1677 01:36:25,196 --> 01:36:26,764 AMBER: Hi, Mark. 1678 01:36:26,864 --> 01:36:28,933 Oh, boy. 1679 01:36:30,243 --> 01:36:32,269 This is awkward. 1680 01:36:33,288 --> 01:36:35,106 - I want a divorce, Mark. - No. 1681 01:36:36,708 --> 01:36:38,208 Don't do this, Kate. I love you. 1682 01:36:38,209 --> 01:36:41,378 - It's too late for that. - Please don't do this. 1683 01:36:41,379 --> 01:36:45,549 Have I made mistakes? Yes. Big ones. Huge ones. 1684 01:36:45,550 --> 01:36:48,719 KATE: Okay, but when you sleep with that many people... 1685 01:36:48,720 --> 01:36:51,388 it's not a mistake, honey. It's pathological. 1686 01:36:51,389 --> 01:36:54,125 It is. But we can work it out. 1687 01:36:54,392 --> 01:36:56,544 I can change. You can help me. 1688 01:36:56,561 --> 01:36:58,228 How many were there? 1689 01:36:58,229 --> 01:37:01,632 Affairs? You're looking at it. 1690 01:37:04,235 --> 01:37:08,973 Okay, one more. A couple, maybe. Uh... three. 1691 01:37:09,365 --> 01:37:11,491 (SIGHS) Five, maybe... 1692 01:37:11,492 --> 01:37:14,812 (STAMMERING) What do you want me to say? I get more ass than a toilet seat! 1693 01:37:14,912 --> 01:37:17,581 I'm insecure. I have issues. 1694 01:37:17,582 --> 01:37:19,833 It's not like I cared about any of them. 1695 01:37:19,834 --> 01:37:21,752 They were all flings, and they knew it. 1696 01:37:21,753 --> 01:37:25,172 - (CLEARS THROAT) - Except for Carly. We were exclusive. 1697 01:37:25,173 --> 01:37:28,675 You told me you'd get a divorce and we'd move to Tuscany. 1698 01:37:28,676 --> 01:37:31,845 I did say that, but nothing I ever told you was true. 1699 01:37:31,846 --> 01:37:34,097 Mark, you're a real piece of shit. 1700 01:37:34,098 --> 01:37:35,140 ALL: Yeah. 1701 01:37:35,141 --> 01:37:39,436 And no matter how many women you sleep with, or cars you buy... 1702 01:37:39,437 --> 01:37:43,440 nothing will be enough to fill the hole inside you... 1703 01:37:43,441 --> 01:37:45,442 where something real should be. 1704 01:37:45,443 --> 01:37:48,320 - You are an empty man. - KATE: Mmm-hmm. 1705 01:37:48,321 --> 01:37:50,655 CARLY: If you weren't as disgusting as you were... 1706 01:37:50,656 --> 01:37:53,033 I would have never known that I needed to change. 1707 01:37:53,034 --> 01:37:55,160 - Mmm-hmm. - I realized that with you. 1708 01:37:55,161 --> 01:37:58,830 - You're so much better now. - Thank you. 1709 01:37:58,831 --> 01:38:01,400 CARLY: Anyway, speaking of changes... 1710 01:38:03,169 --> 01:38:04,503 What is this? 1711 01:38:04,504 --> 01:38:06,238 CARLY: Divorce papers. 1712 01:38:06,464 --> 01:38:09,007 We valued everything you own, and... 1713 01:38:09,008 --> 01:38:12,536 that number at the bottom is your joint net worth. 1714 01:38:14,013 --> 01:38:18,308 You girls think you can shake me down for all my money, you're crazy. 1715 01:38:18,309 --> 01:38:21,921 Not all. Just half. That's what equal partners get... 50%. 1716 01:38:21,979 --> 01:38:25,299 AMBER: Though we did have to significantly reduce your share. 1717 01:38:27,985 --> 01:38:29,653 (MARK STUTTERING) 1718 01:38:29,654 --> 01:38:33,198 What is this? Why does it say zero? Why's that even on here? 1719 01:38:33,199 --> 01:38:36,493 - The money you stole from ServiceCircuit? - I don't know anything about that. 1720 01:38:36,494 --> 01:38:38,870 KATE: That's funny, neither did I. But apparently... 1721 01:38:38,871 --> 01:38:42,874 I'm the CEO. I'm the CEO of several companies, actually. 1722 01:38:42,875 --> 01:38:45,210 But sadly, I had to empty those accounts, so you're broke. 1723 01:38:45,211 --> 01:38:48,046 (STAMMERING) Empty? What are you talking about? How...? 1724 01:38:48,047 --> 01:38:49,756 CARLY: We looked. That's how. 1725 01:38:49,757 --> 01:38:51,842 That's what happens when you piss people off. 1726 01:38:51,843 --> 01:38:56,346 What? You robbed me. You three girls robbed me. 1727 01:38:56,347 --> 01:38:58,390 No way! I don't buy it. 1728 01:38:58,391 --> 01:39:01,351 You don't have it in you to rip me off. No way. 1729 01:39:01,352 --> 01:39:03,186 - You sure about that? - Yes! 1730 01:39:03,187 --> 01:39:08,092 Didn't you notice our skin? That nice Bahamian glow? 1731 01:39:08,526 --> 01:39:10,861 - Incredible. - He didn't even notice! 1732 01:39:10,862 --> 01:39:12,404 MARK: Honestly, Katie... 1733 01:39:12,405 --> 01:39:14,656 I don't know what's going on with you, 1734 01:39:14,657 --> 01:39:17,033 but for your sake, I hope you're lying. 1735 01:39:17,034 --> 01:39:19,744 It's your signature all over those contracts. 1736 01:39:19,745 --> 01:39:22,747 It's you who's liable. So don't threaten me, honey. 1737 01:39:22,748 --> 01:39:26,877 Because if you did empty those accounts, you're the one going down, not me. 1738 01:39:26,878 --> 01:39:30,213 We thought you might say that. Then Carly explained... 1739 01:39:30,214 --> 01:39:32,424 a concept called restitution. 1740 01:39:32,425 --> 01:39:35,327 Think of it as payback. That's how we framed it with Nick. 1741 01:39:35,428 --> 01:39:37,429 (INTERCOM BEEPING) You framed it with Nick, now? 1742 01:39:37,430 --> 01:39:40,765 You included Nick? Bullshit! Now I know you're... 1743 01:39:40,766 --> 01:39:44,837 Hey, Nick! Hey, man! I... What? 1744 01:39:46,606 --> 01:39:48,940 I don't know what they told you. 1745 01:39:48,941 --> 01:39:51,568 They're having some kind of group breakdown. 1746 01:39:51,569 --> 01:39:54,179 They didn't tell me anything. They showed me. 1747 01:39:54,280 --> 01:39:58,283 It's over. I'm getting my ideas direct from the factory now. 1748 01:39:58,284 --> 01:40:03,079 What? From her?! Is this some kind of joke? You're firing me? 1749 01:40:03,080 --> 01:40:07,083 Firing you is the least of it. The only reason you're not going to prison... 1750 01:40:07,084 --> 01:40:09,461 is because your wife paid all the money back. 1751 01:40:09,462 --> 01:40:12,631 Oh, no, no, no. You're all lying. 1752 01:40:12,632 --> 01:40:17,260 It's bullshit. It's bullshit! Global bullshit! I call bullshit! 1753 01:40:17,261 --> 01:40:18,803 Bullshit! 1754 01:40:18,804 --> 01:40:20,931 My wife's not some criminal mastermind. 1755 01:40:20,932 --> 01:40:25,169 She needs freakin' brain camp! That's my money! 1756 01:40:25,186 --> 01:40:26,587 (GRUNTS) 1757 01:40:26,938 --> 01:40:28,396 (CHOKING) 1758 01:40:28,397 --> 01:40:30,299 (GROANING) 1759 01:40:33,152 --> 01:40:36,655 Mark, you're not a very nice person. 1760 01:40:36,656 --> 01:40:38,390 Shut up! 1761 01:40:40,034 --> 01:40:41,435 (BREATHING HEAVILY) 1762 01:40:42,119 --> 01:40:44,063 - Get away. Get away, get away! - (SCREAMS) 1763 01:40:45,289 --> 01:40:46,540 That can't be right. It's a trick! 1764 01:40:46,541 --> 01:40:48,108 (KEYBOARD CLACKING) 1765 01:40:48,292 --> 01:40:49,693 No! 1766 01:40:51,003 --> 01:40:54,673 No, no, no, no! 1767 01:40:54,674 --> 01:40:56,700 That's my money! 1768 01:40:59,136 --> 01:41:03,207 You won't get away with this. You won't get away with this! 1769 01:41:08,062 --> 01:41:09,463 (GROANS) 1770 01:41:17,572 --> 01:41:19,306 (GROWLING) 1771 01:41:22,618 --> 01:41:24,019 (EXHALES) 1772 01:41:28,541 --> 01:41:30,375 Excuse me. 1773 01:41:30,376 --> 01:41:32,319 (GLASS CRUNCHING) 1774 01:41:42,179 --> 01:41:46,349 Oh, oh, oh! Hey! Hey! Hey, buddy! I'm here! Stop! 1775 01:41:46,350 --> 01:41:49,352 - It's already hooked. - Come on. It's barely in the red! 1776 01:41:49,353 --> 01:41:51,088 It's already in the air, guy. 1777 01:41:51,355 --> 01:41:55,092 - That's a $300,000 car, asshole! - I guess you can afford it, then. 1778 01:41:55,901 --> 01:41:57,360 Welcome to New York. 1779 01:41:57,361 --> 01:41:59,596 You get back here! 1780 01:42:00,906 --> 01:42:03,908 See?! This! This! 1781 01:42:03,909 --> 01:42:06,478 - You mother... - (HORN HONKING) 1782 01:42:08,956 --> 01:42:10,774 (SCREAMING) 1783 01:42:12,043 --> 01:42:15,988 Huh, could this day get any worse? Really?! 1784 01:42:16,464 --> 01:42:17,948 What? 1785 01:42:21,886 --> 01:42:24,288 Next time, call a plumber. 1786 01:42:29,727 --> 01:42:31,962 There she is! 1787 01:42:38,235 --> 01:42:40,612 - What a cute dress! - Thank you! 1788 01:42:40,613 --> 01:42:42,014 (SIGHS) 1789 01:42:42,073 --> 01:42:43,448 Hi. 1790 01:42:43,449 --> 01:42:45,350 CARLY: Can I make a toast? 1791 01:42:46,285 --> 01:42:48,687 Here's to having friends... 1792 01:42:49,288 --> 01:42:52,457 friends that love every part of you. 1793 01:42:52,458 --> 01:42:55,627 And though it brought us together, let's never sleep with the same guy again. 1794 01:42:55,628 --> 01:42:57,654 - CARLY: Good idea. Never. - Ever. 1795 01:42:57,922 --> 01:42:59,656 - Cheers. - Love you guys.