1 00:00:17,274 --> 00:00:20,182 [ Chuckling ] You lucky, 2 00:00:20,256 --> 00:00:23,643 lucky people. 3 00:00:23,556 --> 00:00:24,716 Yeah, you. [ Laughs ] 4 00:00:25,275 --> 00:00:26,956 Yes, you. 5 00:00:29,557 --> 00:00:30,878 Fuckin' away. 6 00:00:32,117 --> 00:00:34,238 Aren't you? Fuckin' away. 7 00:00:35,079 --> 00:00:37,919 Like you're late for evolution or something. 8 00:00:38,719 --> 00:00:42,679 Hmm? Yeah, yeah. Oh, yeah. Everyone's at it. 9 00:00:40,696 --> 00:00:44,629 I know. Everybody's at it except me. 10 00:00:44,701 --> 00:00:47,870 The prince of paranoia. Yeah. 11 00:00:47,936 --> 00:00:49,880 You see, at the moment, I am dealing... 12 00:00:49,956 --> 00:00:54,631 with a monumental case of Mr. Floppy. 13 00:00:54,203 --> 00:00:55,924 And it's killing me. 14 00:00:56,723 --> 00:01:00,365 Softly. Yeah. Funny, isn't it? 15 00:01:00,525 --> 00:01:04,566 [ Jip Narrating ] Well, that's me, I'm afraid. Stressed to the max. 16 00:01:03,542 --> 00:01:05,399 A legend in my own ego. 17 00:01:04,686 --> 00:01:07,286 But if you think I'm fucked up, you should check out my friends. 18 00:01:09,327 --> 00:01:11,768 I can't stop thinking about my girlfriend fucking other men. 19 00:01:12,768 --> 00:01:14,929 It's doing my nut in. 20 00:01:15,489 --> 00:01:17,729 Every bloke she looks at I think she fancies. 21 00:01:18,849 --> 00:01:21,850 Even the thought of her having sex with her past boyfriends gets to me. 22 00:01:22,450 --> 00:01:25,187 Whether they turned her on more or whether their dick was bigger. 23 00:01:25,295 --> 00:01:26,851 It makes me feel inadequate, you know what I mean? 24 00:01:27,331 --> 00:01:28,388 [ Jip Narrating ] Koop is the best of best mates. 25 00:01:28,692 --> 00:01:31,573 He's an absolute craftsman, man. 26 00:01:32,053 --> 00:01:34,165 We're gonna know each other for the rest of our lives. 27 00:01:34,261 --> 00:01:36,293 We're both as fucked up as each other. 28 00:01:36,294 --> 00:01:39,055 You know, I love his sincerity. He's the coolest person I know. 29 00:01:42,015 --> 00:01:44,896 Alright, I'm having a sub-life crisis. 30 00:01:45,417 --> 00:01:48,777 I feel like a character on EastEnders ‒ the come-down version. 31 00:01:50,818 --> 00:01:52,898 What the fuck am I doing in this job? 32 00:01:53,858 --> 00:01:57,210 I wanna go to college, but I fucked up the interview. 33 00:01:57,285 --> 00:02:01,601 When they asked me why philosophy interested me, why didn't I say something like, 34 00:02:01,675 --> 00:02:05,095 "Philosophy is about the meaning of life,"' instead of... 35 00:02:05,168 --> 00:02:07,724 "I've been having serious trouble trying to work life out, 36 00:02:07,796 --> 00:02:10,220 and I'm now prepared to listen to other people's theories." 37 00:02:11,864 --> 00:02:13,906 [ Jip Narrating ] Now Nina is Koop's girlfriend. 38 00:02:13,978 --> 00:02:15,704 I've seen her around the clubs for years. 39 00:02:15,904 --> 00:02:19,985 A complete hedonist, but totally down to earth. 40 00:02:18,528 --> 00:02:21,883 No edge to her at all. I trust her with my best mate. 41 00:02:22,375 --> 00:02:25,867 Nina's the most together out of all of us. She's an absolute mistress. 42 00:02:27,907 --> 00:02:30,846 Why would I want a man? They're all emotionally retarded, 43 00:02:30,920 --> 00:02:33,508 egotistical pricks who fuck with your head. 44 00:02:33,579 --> 00:02:35,490 They try to control you and make you feel like... 45 00:02:35,565 --> 00:02:37,935 the whore of Babylon if you wear a miniskirt. 46 00:02:38,001 --> 00:02:41,038 I'm an independent girl who wears lipstick because she wants to, 47 00:02:41,108 --> 00:02:43,150 not because men find it more attractive. 48 00:02:43,222 --> 00:02:45,592 I'm fine being single. I am! 49 00:02:45,658 --> 00:02:47,515 Peachy fucking creamy. 50 00:02:47,580 --> 00:02:50,431 [ Jip Narrating ] This is Lulu. She's a full-on club minx. 51 00:02:50,496 --> 00:02:52,386 Major head banger. 52 00:02:52,113 --> 00:02:55,837 We've known each other for years. Some people find her a bit intimidating. 53 00:02:55,911 --> 00:02:57,114 It's purely social camouflage. 54 00:02:57,474 --> 00:02:59,691 Recently we became clubbing partners. 55 00:02:59,756 --> 00:03:02,436 And that has helped me get to know the real Lulu. She's a pussycat. 56 00:03:04,556 --> 00:03:08,157 See me? I'm quicker on the draw than Jesse James, my son. 57 00:03:09,198 --> 00:03:10,638 Eh, eh? [ Snickering ] 58 00:03:11,959 --> 00:03:15,239 I'm sending smoke signals Tonto style, you know what I mean? 59 00:03:16,439 --> 00:03:18,519 I wouldn't say no to a girlfriend, you know what I mean? 60 00:03:18,520 --> 00:03:21,441 How nice it would be to drink the white wine from the furry cup, you know? 61 00:03:22,641 --> 00:03:25,922 I just can't be arsed with the hassle part of the dating game, do you know what I mean? 62 00:03:26,402 --> 00:03:29,123 I just ‒ Having a relationship just ain't Top of the Pops at the moment, you know? 63 00:03:29,642 --> 00:03:31,634 I'm having sex with music, mate. 64 00:03:31,699 --> 00:03:33,363 And believe me, I can go all night. 65 00:03:33,764 --> 00:03:35,877 [ Jip Narrating ] I met Moff in a warehouse party last summer. 66 00:03:35,973 --> 00:03:37,968 We've been mates ever since. 67 00:03:38,044 --> 00:03:41,277 He got moved down here when his dad got promoted to superintendent. 68 00:03:41,344 --> 00:03:45,440 Now Moff is the biggest pill monster I know. I love him, but he's off his tits. 69 00:03:45,509 --> 00:03:48,774 I swear on my mother's life, 70 00:03:48,841 --> 00:03:52,009 I'm having the best time being off my pickle... 71 00:03:52,077 --> 00:03:55,147 and feeling the music. 72 00:03:55,217 --> 00:03:58,537 You ‒ You-you know what I mean, yeah? 73 00:03:58,613 --> 00:04:01,235 Cushty. I knew you wouldn't let me down. I knew it. 74 00:04:01,305 --> 00:04:07,468 [ Playing: Fatboy Slim ‒ Build It Up, Tear It Down ] 75 00:04:14,057 --> 00:04:18,272 [1] Bounce, bounce, bounce, bounce, bounce 76 00:04:18,277 --> 00:04:22,353 [2] Bounce, bounce, bounce, bounce, bounce 77 00:04:22,358 --> 00:04:25,743 [3] Bounce, bounce, bounce, bounce, b-b-b... 78 00:04:25,748 --> 00:04:28,434 Build it up 79 00:04:28,504 --> 00:04:31,802 Tear it down 80 00:04:31,868 --> 00:04:35,003 Build it up 81 00:04:35,071 --> 00:04:38,458 Tear it down 82 00:04:39,268 --> 00:04:43,483 [1] Bounce, bounce, bounce, bounce, bounce 83 00:04:43,488 --> 00:04:47,564 [2] Bounce, bounce, bounce, bounce, bounce 84 00:04:47,560 --> 00:04:51,905 [3] Bounce, bounce, bounce, bounce, bounce, bounce. 85 00:05:18,047 --> 00:05:21,888 [1] Bounce, bounce, bounce, bounce, bounce 86 00:05:21,893 --> 00:05:25,734 [2] Bounce, bounce, bounce, bounce, bounce 87 00:05:25,739 --> 00:05:29,580 [3] Bounce, bounce, bounce, bounce, bounce 88 00:05:29,585 --> 00:05:34,722 [4] Bounce, bounce, bounce, bounce, bounce, b-b-b... 89 00:05:34,727 --> 00:05:37,414 Build it up 90 00:05:37,483 --> 00:05:40,781 Tear it down 91 00:05:40,848 --> 00:05:43,983 Build it up 92 00:05:44,050 --> 00:05:47,438 Tear it down 93 00:05:48,022 --> 00:05:51,075 [1] Bounce, bounce, bounce, bounce 94 00:05:51,080 --> 00:05:54,134 [2] Bounce, bounce, bounce, bounce 95 00:05:57,417 --> 00:06:01,258 [ The song slightly ends (fades out). ] 96 00:06:02,802 --> 00:06:04,682 [ Jip Narrating ] God's having a laugh, man. 97 00:06:04,683 --> 00:06:07,596 He keeps digging up these social fossils from my past, 98 00:06:07,692 --> 00:06:10,189 disguising them as paying customers for me to deal with. 99 00:06:10,381 --> 00:06:12,301 Maybe, it's to remind me that memory's overrated. 100 00:06:13,124 --> 00:06:14,702 -[ Girl Giggling ] - Oh, my God. 101 00:06:14,798 --> 00:06:17,006 It's Karen Benson. I don't believe this. 102 00:06:17,205 --> 00:06:20,209 I failed the physical with her. Oh, please, just go away. 103 00:06:21,659 --> 00:06:24,925 Fuck! She's coming over. Oh, fuck. I'm starting to shake. 104 00:06:24,991 --> 00:06:27,612 Whoa, whoa, whoa. Be cool, Jip. Nothing happened, remember? 105 00:06:27,682 --> 00:06:29,594 Come on. Act like an adult and be false. 106 00:06:29,669 --> 00:06:32,160 Oh, my God. Oh, my God. Here it comes. 107 00:06:32,232 --> 00:06:35,269 Here comes the pain. Hold tight. Oh, my God! 108 00:06:35,340 --> 00:06:37,929 - All right? - All right. 109 00:06:37,999 --> 00:06:40,785 [ Cash Register Beeping ] 110 00:06:42,197 --> 00:06:45,048 - Why didn't you want sex with me? - I did. 111 00:06:45,113 --> 00:06:46,970 I-I did want sex with you. 112 00:06:47,035 --> 00:06:49,110 So what was the problem? 113 00:06:49,181 --> 00:06:51,224 I was just terrified of losing my erection. 114 00:06:51,296 --> 00:06:54,267 - He couldn't get it up for the birds! - The birds! 115 00:06:54,340 --> 00:06:57,158 - He couldn't get it up for the birds! - The birds! 116 00:06:57,223 --> 00:07:00,326 He must be a fucking queer! 117 00:07:00,396 --> 00:07:04,078 He couldn't get it up for the birds! The birds! 118 00:07:04,144 --> 00:07:06,416 I'm not gay or anything, I-- 119 00:07:06,483 --> 00:07:08,340 I'm just having a bit of a head fuck. 120 00:07:08,406 --> 00:07:12,666 - So why didn't you say so? - I was a bit embarrassed. 121 00:07:13,693 --> 00:07:17,177 Thanks. Bye. 122 00:07:17,248 --> 00:07:19,106 See ya. 123 00:07:24,103 --> 00:07:27,543 - It was an accident. - Some fucking accident. - So you just gonna throw it all away? 124 00:07:27,584 --> 00:07:30,504 You threw it away when you had your little accident with Yvonne. 125 00:07:30,505 --> 00:07:33,065 - Fuck Yvonne. - No, fuck you! 126 00:07:33,745 --> 00:07:38,385 You can't just take the piss outta people and then come back and expected to be Terry and fucking June. 127 00:07:38,386 --> 00:07:40,347 Come on. I'm sorry. 128 00:07:40,947 --> 00:07:43,788 [ Sigh ] Write a song, Tyler. I don't care. 129 00:07:44,148 --> 00:07:46,469 Good luck with your life, 'cause you gonna fucking need it. 130 00:07:46,628 --> 00:07:48,638 This is the third guy who's fucked me over in a row. 131 00:07:48,711 --> 00:07:51,748 It's not you, Lu. You're just a fucking arsehole magnet. 132 00:07:52,149 --> 00:07:54,415 [ Jip Narrating ] Lulu didn't enroll for a degree in social masturbation, 133 00:07:54,481 --> 00:07:56,310 but she's getting one anyway. 134 00:07:56,311 --> 00:07:58,951 Matt and Luke are post-Goa-modernists. 135 00:07:58,952 --> 00:08:02,632 They live in a canteen armed only with their Golden Virginia and Blue Rizla+. 136 00:08:02,632 --> 00:08:07,674 Yacking endlessly about that psychadelic clichés and how being black is a state of mind, yeah? 137 00:08:07,794 --> 00:08:10,123 Aah, and they just got back from Amsterdam. 138 00:08:10,128 --> 00:08:12,275 Designer-poor and white-boy-dread posse. 139 00:08:12,875 --> 00:08:15,432 Fucking space invaders. 140 00:08:15,503 --> 00:08:17,360 - How's it going? - Downhill. 141 00:08:17,425 --> 00:08:19,282 Right, cool. 142 00:08:19,347 --> 00:08:21,717 - So, how was your trip? - Ah, well. 143 00:08:21,783 --> 00:08:23,640 The theory of the 'Dam is, yeah, life's for living. 144 00:08:23,705 --> 00:08:28,020 So just sit down, skin up, be blot. We chilled out in the red-light district. 145 00:08:28,094 --> 00:08:32,770 - Everyone's blazing away, smoking trees of weed. - Word to the "mummyfucker." 146 00:08:32,837 --> 00:08:35,142 Our last night there, we were sharing a skunk, 147 00:08:35,208 --> 00:08:37,065 chillin' with these two massive Rastas. 148 00:08:37,130 --> 00:08:39,981 Nobody said a word. We just sat there for three hours going up in smoke. 149 00:08:41,327 --> 00:08:44,714 Nodding our heads to the dub reggae that warmed the place. 150 00:08:44,787 --> 00:08:49,397 The base line was so deep, you could feel the vibrations in Jamaica. 151 00:08:53,022 --> 00:08:56,409 - Yo, what's up? - Hey, nice, nice. 152 00:08:56,482 --> 00:08:58,339 - Any new hip-hop, man? - Yeah. 153 00:08:58,404 --> 00:09:02,338 Eh, I got some smoking West-Coast flow just landed. Raw as botulism, mate. 154 00:09:02,410 --> 00:09:04,265 Now, fuck that West Coast shit. 155 00:09:04,329 --> 00:09:06,983 I want some hard-core East Coast flavor beat. You know what I mean? 156 00:09:07,051 --> 00:09:10,022 Well, why didn't you say so? Fat beats. Armageddon on the streets. 157 00:09:10,095 --> 00:09:11,954 We're inundated with the shit, "bra." 158 00:09:12,019 --> 00:09:13,932 Eh, we had anymore hard core, we'd get arrested, you know what I mean? 159 00:09:14,006 --> 00:09:16,662 Yeah, high. 160 00:09:16,731 --> 00:09:20,030 [ Jip Narrating ] Now Koop's on the pulse, but he's a serious vinyl pusher. 161 00:09:20,094 --> 00:09:22,585 Getting the kids hooked, hustling with style. 162 00:09:22,658 --> 00:09:26,754 This... was recorded by a posse of crackheads on death row, right? 163 00:09:26,823 --> 00:09:31,050 So all them little interludes of prison noises and that, they're for real. 164 00:09:31,116 --> 00:09:33,257 They call themselves The Itchy Trigger Finger "Nigaz." 165 00:09:33,328 --> 00:09:36,112 - The itchy what? - The Itchy Trigger Finger "Nigaz." 166 00:09:36,179 --> 00:09:38,548 [ Rap music playing: Grim ‒ My Last Request ] ...Success with falling in New York is amazing... 167 00:09:38,614 --> 00:09:40,917 ...Nine Glock cocked ‒ cops? Fuck cops, my block... 168 00:09:40,985 --> 00:09:43,572 ...Execute, rip n tear, prepare electric chair... 169 00:09:43,644 --> 00:09:46,266 ...For the villainous, halfway crooked crimes are silliness... 170 00:09:46,335 --> 00:09:49,056 ...The barrenous with the venomous, tantrums so scandalous... 171 00:09:49,124 --> 00:09:51,264 ...Motherfuckers can't handle ‒ knock them like Rambo... 172 00:09:51,333 --> 00:09:54,086 ...Still caged ‒ with strength to go head-up for days nigga (Yeeeaaah). - Yeah! 173 00:09:54,153 --> 00:09:56,490 [ Music continues ] ...In despair as I'm sittin' in this chair 'bout to die... 174 00:09:56,556 --> 00:09:58,982 ...In jail a long time ‒ no lie ‒ can't cry... 175 00:09:59,055 --> 00:10:01,643 ...A lot of things are runnin' through my mind ‒ mostly crime... 176 00:10:01,715 --> 00:10:04,817 ...My last request be one more chance to say my rhyme... 177 00:10:04,886 --> 00:10:06,896 I'll take that shit, man. That shit is real. 178 00:10:06,969 --> 00:10:09,787 Yeah, yeah, yeah, man. Hey. Can't be missed. Twenty quid. 179 00:10:09,853 --> 00:10:12,638 - Twenty quid? - Yeah, man. Eh. 180 00:10:12,703 --> 00:10:15,489 You know like when the price of artists' work goes up when they die, yeah? 181 00:10:15,555 --> 00:10:18,376 Well, the price of hip-hop albums go up when the gangsters get locked down. 182 00:10:18,439 --> 00:10:20,581 Hey, when they get the chair, the price'll go into orbit, mate. 183 00:10:20,650 --> 00:10:23,884 - Is it? - Look, it's going to be banned. 184 00:10:23,951 --> 00:10:26,953 So I'd nab it now before some other hip-hopjunkie does. You know what I mean? 185 00:10:27,026 --> 00:10:29,004 - Yeah, all right. - All right, nice. 186 00:10:29,078 --> 00:10:31,086 Nice one. Yeah, safe. 187 00:10:31,159 --> 00:10:33,016 All right. 188 00:10:36,189 --> 00:10:38,047 Any new jungle in, guy? 189 00:10:38,112 --> 00:10:42,011 I've got the Tarzan and Jane of jungle just swung in on the vine this morning, mate. 190 00:10:42,085 --> 00:10:44,609 I'm telling you, 191 00:10:44,680 --> 00:10:46,953 this could turn Hare Krishna into a bad boy. 192 00:10:53,876 --> 00:10:58,136 Mmm! Jungle is massive in any place! Make a disgrace! 193 00:10:58,203 --> 00:11:00,440 [ Jungle music playing: Aphrodite ‒ Stalker ] ...Easy, man! Easy!... 194 00:11:01,083 --> 00:11:04,150 [ Indistinct Chattering ] 195 00:11:03,552 --> 00:11:05,890 Cardiff massive! Cardiff massive! 196 00:11:08,866 --> 00:11:10,630 [ Indistinct Chattering ] 197 00:11:14,279 --> 00:11:15,874 Ai! Ai! Ai! 198 00:11:15,947 --> 00:11:18,087 Bounce to the beat! Bounce, bounce to the beat! 199 00:11:18,157 --> 00:11:20,167 Brutal! 200 00:11:23,860 --> 00:11:25,717 Fucking hell. 201 00:11:25,782 --> 00:11:27,759 Fucking hate this job, man. 202 00:11:27,833 --> 00:11:30,389 [ Exhaling ] Fuck. 203 00:11:30,460 --> 00:11:34,721 We spend nine hours a day, five days a week incarcerated in this... 204 00:11:34,787 --> 00:11:36,960 wanky, fucking store... 205 00:11:37,029 --> 00:11:39,366 having to act like... C3PO... 206 00:11:39,432 --> 00:11:41,441 to any twat that wants to condescend to us. 207 00:11:41,514 --> 00:11:44,552 Do you know what I mean? We have to brown-nose the customers, 208 00:11:44,622 --> 00:11:47,375 then we get abused by some mini fucking Hitler... 209 00:11:47,441 --> 00:11:49,900 who just gives us stick all day. 210 00:11:49,972 --> 00:11:53,392 What the hell do you think you're doing... 211 00:11:53,466 --> 00:11:55,956 just standing around and talking? 212 00:11:56,029 --> 00:11:59,033 If you wanna work in this firm, 213 00:11:59,103 --> 00:12:01,310 then wake up and get real. 214 00:12:01,379 --> 00:12:03,520 Now, tidy up the T-shirts, 215 00:12:03,591 --> 00:12:06,758 stack the jeans and put them in color-coordinated piles. 216 00:12:06,827 --> 00:12:09,994 Take this as your final warning! 217 00:12:10,063 --> 00:12:13,863 [ Grunting ] 218 00:12:18,618 --> 00:12:20,747 [ Jip Narrating ] Now I take the corporate cock shafting like the next person... 219 00:12:20,795 --> 00:12:23,389 because I need to pay the rent. 220 00:12:23,139 --> 00:12:25,837 But if you ask me, the Antichrist has been with us for a long time... 221 00:12:25,885 --> 00:12:29,091 and he means business, big business. 222 00:12:57,988 --> 00:13:00,030 - All right, Nin? - Yep. 223 00:13:00,549 --> 00:13:03,589 [ Jip Narrating ] Nina's boss is a closet human. He desperately wants to get into Nina. 224 00:13:03,590 --> 00:13:07,870 He slides around the shop floor fueled by the bad sperm that pours from every orifice. 225 00:13:08,871 --> 00:13:11,924 - You looking after my meat? - Oh, that was funny. 226 00:13:11,989 --> 00:13:15,059 - Well, I'm a funny guy. - Yeah, you should have your own series. 227 00:13:15,129 --> 00:13:19,957 - Come on, Nin, loosen up. I don't bite. - You sure? 228 00:13:21,954 --> 00:13:24,355 - Only if you want me to. 229 00:13:27,555 --> 00:13:29,516 Fuck this! 230 00:13:44,640 --> 00:13:48,761 Like most weekenders, I know if you wanna play in the party, you have to raise the capital. 231 00:13:48,881 --> 00:13:52,721 But if you're religious about not working, you deal. You deal for your friends. 232 00:13:52,722 --> 00:13:57,042 Now, Moff is not a pusher. He's not violent. He's never been in any scenes from Scarface. 233 00:13:57,043 --> 00:13:59,524 He just soughts people out with party prescriptions. 234 00:14:00,163 --> 00:14:03,565 They're happy. Moff gets a free night. It's not big business. 235 00:14:04,645 --> 00:14:06,405 Next stop, Trixi. 236 00:14:06,685 --> 00:14:09,886 - Trixi. - Hey, Moff! 237 00:14:12,046 --> 00:14:16,127 - Hard day at the office, Trix? - I've been working my tits off. 238 00:14:16,127 --> 00:14:17,488 I see, yeah. 239 00:14:18,009 --> 00:14:20,609 What's cooking, muffled up beau temps, eh? [ French: weather ?] 240 00:14:21,249 --> 00:14:23,250 Not much, mate. Laughing at bus line. 241 00:14:23,610 --> 00:14:27,731 - Do you want... Do you want any hashish or what? - What is it? - ?Black Zilla? 242 00:14:28,051 --> 00:14:33,292 - Zilla Black, is it? - How much do you want? - I'll take the finest-looking ?henry? 243 00:14:33,973 --> 00:14:37,013 Besides I'm kind only, I'm fucking psychic, mate. But, do you just know why? 244 00:14:37,853 --> 00:14:39,653 A little right there for a mistress. 245 00:14:57,458 --> 00:15:00,139 You fucking want me up or what? Fucking a what, that's just a tenner. 246 00:15:01,139 --> 00:15:04,660 Do you think it costs a tenner? Fuck, you know, Trix. 247 00:15:06,621 --> 00:15:09,461 Oh fuck, you surprise me. 248 00:15:10,662 --> 00:15:13,542 Can I interest you a nanny, Billy Wally Wood? 249 00:15:14,543 --> 00:15:16,824 You really know a man got moistured, you know that? 250 00:15:18,303 --> 00:15:20,216 [ Singing Along With Radio: Public Enemy ‒ You're Gonna Get Yours ] ...Cruisin' down the boulevard... 251 00:15:20,290 --> 00:15:22,562 ... I'm treated like some superstar... 252 00:15:22,629 --> 00:15:25,087 ...You know the time so don't look hard Get with it... 253 00:15:25,160 --> 00:15:27,018 ...The ultimate homeboy car... 254 00:15:27,084 --> 00:15:28,940 ...All you suckers in the other ride... 255 00:15:29,006 --> 00:15:31,627 ...Wherever I'm comin' get you my side... 256 00:15:31,707 --> 00:15:33,724 ...My 98 is tough to chase... 257 00:15:33,820 --> 00:15:36,029 ...If you're on my tail, better watch your face... 258 00:15:36,178 --> 00:15:38,430 ...You gonna get yours, suckers to tha side... 259 00:15:38,476 --> 00:15:40,190 ...I know you hate my 98... 260 00:15:40,286 --> 00:15:41,727 ...You gonna get yours... 261 00:15:43,430 --> 00:15:44,711 [ Jip Narrating ] I'm supposed to see my mum tomorrow, 262 00:15:44,777 --> 00:15:47,968 but I'm droppin' tonight, [ Note: taking ecstasy ] so there's no way I can deal with her on a comedown. 263 00:15:47,983 --> 00:15:49,312 In and out, five minutes. 264 00:15:50,072 --> 00:15:51,672 Mum! It's me. 265 00:15:52,872 --> 00:15:55,015 [ Jip Narrating ] I never knew my mum until I was 15. 266 00:15:55,353 --> 00:15:58,871 I was moved down here by the Social when my father was locked up for fraud. 267 00:15:58,834 --> 00:16:00,723 Well, he was more like my friend than a father, 268 00:16:00,787 --> 00:16:03,791 taking me out on the circuit bringing me up his way, you know? 269 00:16:03,865 --> 00:16:05,722 In Cardiff, my mother had always worked from home, 270 00:16:05,787 --> 00:16:08,124 which I always just accepted when we lived together, 271 00:16:08,190 --> 00:16:12,089 but now when I go and see her, it kills me to see how she gets used, man. 272 00:16:12,163 --> 00:16:14,020 It's been routine for her since she was my age, 273 00:16:14,086 --> 00:16:16,456 so she's go no hang-ups about it, which is cool. 274 00:16:16,520 --> 00:16:20,201 And I know it's not her fault, but I can't handle staying there long. 275 00:16:20,269 --> 00:16:22,125 Especially if she's with a punter. 276 00:16:22,190 --> 00:16:24,168 - Hiya, love. - Hi, Mum. You all right? 277 00:16:24,242 --> 00:16:26,666 Yeah. Aw. 278 00:16:26,740 --> 00:16:29,810 Aw, is a nice surprise. I didn't expect to see you today. 279 00:16:29,881 --> 00:16:32,633 No, it's a flying visit. Um, listen, I can't make it tomorrow. 280 00:16:32,701 --> 00:16:35,486 I've got to work, so I'll pop in Sunday. Is that all right? 281 00:16:35,551 --> 00:16:38,720 - All right. I'll cook dinner. - Cool. 282 00:16:38,787 --> 00:16:40,961 I'm with someone upstairs a minute. He doesn't take long. 283 00:16:41,030 --> 00:16:45,258 - Five minutes, okay? - Um, I've gotta move, Mum. I've gotta go. 284 00:16:45,324 --> 00:16:49,224 Oh, just five minutes, love. I never get to see you anymore. 285 00:16:51,380 --> 00:16:53,292 All right, all right. 286 00:16:53,366 --> 00:16:55,704 Some chocolates in the cupboard. 287 00:17:02,786 --> 00:17:04,644 [ Jip Narrating ] Yeah. See you in five minutes, Mum. 288 00:17:04,708 --> 00:17:06,784 My mum can work through a lot of men in a day. 289 00:17:06,855 --> 00:17:10,438 Some fall in love with her, send her chocolates. Some get heavy. 290 00:17:10,507 --> 00:17:12,878 I used to hang around just in case things got out of hand. 291 00:17:12,942 --> 00:17:14,800 Any trouble, I'd be there, you know? 292 00:17:14,865 --> 00:17:17,771 But I couldn't do it for long. I had to leave. 293 00:17:17,654 --> 00:17:20,242 Sometimes I've got to stop myself from running upstairs... 294 00:17:20,313 --> 00:17:23,995 and beating the living shit out of the man who's there with my mum, but I never do. 295 00:17:24,062 --> 00:17:28,094 Right, this is the score. Twenty quid for a blow job, fifty quid to fuck her. 296 00:17:28,163 --> 00:17:30,753 Mind you, she'll do anything you like, as long as you've got the cash. 297 00:17:30,822 --> 00:17:32,932 She's got all the gear, you know, sussies, 298 00:17:33,002 --> 00:17:36,039 open-crotch panties, peephole bra. 299 00:17:36,108 --> 00:17:39,594 Fit tits, crackin' arse. And she'll put on a bit of an act. 300 00:17:39,666 --> 00:17:43,052 Well, they call it acting, but she really enjoys it. Know what I mean? 301 00:17:43,126 --> 00:17:45,430 Fuck off!. Shut the fuck up! 302 00:17:51,360 --> 00:17:54,560 [ Jip Narrating ] Koop goes to see his dad every day after work. 303 00:17:54,628 --> 00:17:57,598 He never got over his last breakdown when Koop's mum left them. 304 00:17:57,672 --> 00:18:01,025 Since then, he's invented his own alternative reality. 305 00:18:01,100 --> 00:18:04,683 His world is split into those on his side and those on the enemy's side... 306 00:18:04,752 --> 00:18:08,238 who he identifies with through looks and gestures. 307 00:18:08,309 --> 00:18:12,143 His dad sends and receives messages telepathically through TV and satellite, 308 00:18:12,219 --> 00:18:15,900 and he's waiting for a sign that the mission is over and his life can start again. 309 00:18:17,249 --> 00:18:20,121 - Hi, Dad. - Oh, the cavalry. 310 00:18:24,792 --> 00:18:26,712 So, how long do I've got to stay here? 311 00:18:30,393 --> 00:18:31,313 I don't know. 312 00:18:32,354 --> 00:18:35,673 What did our side say? Tell me the truth, Leon. 313 00:18:35,674 --> 00:18:38,034 Look, I don't know. 314 00:18:38,995 --> 00:18:40,996 It's alright. 315 00:18:41,395 --> 00:18:45,317 I know we both can't talk about it. It would endanger me, right? 316 00:18:45,836 --> 00:18:50,406 It could be worse, you know? It could be you among talking the fucking nerd kisses. 317 00:19:00,681 --> 00:19:02,952 I would like to propose a toast... 318 00:19:03,019 --> 00:19:06,406 to the bird for giving her Mac job the finger... 319 00:19:06,479 --> 00:19:10,129 and for successfully gaining unemployment. 320 00:19:10,196 --> 00:19:12,054 What a fucking mistress! 321 00:19:12,118 --> 00:19:14,226 Thank you. Thank you. 322 00:19:15,995 --> 00:19:19,032 Already feels great to be part of the two million. 323 00:19:19,103 --> 00:19:21,977 I'm looking forward to sitting on my arse for a bit, 324 00:19:22,051 --> 00:19:26,564 having reversed sleeping patterns and getting into some hard-core "Richard and Judy". 325 00:19:26,633 --> 00:19:28,523 [ Photographers Clamoring ] 326 00:19:28,587 --> 00:19:30,444 [ Laughing ] 327 00:19:35,861 --> 00:19:37,717 [ Dance ] - [ Nina ] Go, girl! 328 00:19:37,784 --> 00:19:40,241 Come on, sugar! Show it to me! 329 00:19:43,070 --> 00:19:45,111 [ Music in the background ] ...Last night a DJ saved my life... - Check out the booty. 330 00:19:45,184 --> 00:19:48,089 - They want you, honey. They want you, sugar. Come on. 331 00:19:48,163 --> 00:19:51,200 - Listen, now. Go, girl. 332 00:19:51,271 --> 00:19:54,177 ...'Cause I was sitting there bored to death... 333 00:19:54,251 --> 00:19:58,564 ...And in just one breath he said... ...You gotta get up... ...You gotta get off... 334 00:19:58,638 --> 00:20:02,192 ...You gotta get down, girl... [ Laughing ] 335 00:20:02,289 --> 00:20:04,642 ...Last night a DJ saved my life. [ Music ends ] 336 00:20:05,177 --> 00:20:08,026 [ Jip Narrating ] Koop dreams of being the world's top club spinner, 337 00:20:08,090 --> 00:20:09,658 but he reckons it doesn't matter how well you can beat mix. 338 00:20:10,018 --> 00:20:12,356 You ain't a DJ until you can scratch. 339 00:20:12,422 --> 00:20:14,879 [ Hip Hop Music incl. scratching Doctor X ‒ Puffin' tha Herb ] 340 00:20:14,952 --> 00:20:16,808 Puff, puffin' Puff, puffin' 341 00:20:16,872 --> 00:20:20,040 Pu-puff, Puff, puffin' tha herb 342 00:20:20,110 --> 00:20:22,251 Herb, herb 343 00:20:22,321 --> 00:20:25,904 Herb, h-h-herb 344 00:20:25,974 --> 00:20:28,398 Puffin' tha herb Puffin' tha herb 345 00:20:28,472 --> 00:20:30,515 Puffin' tha herb H-Herb 346 00:20:30,587 --> 00:20:35,329 H-Herb H-H-Herb 347 00:20:36,163 --> 00:20:38,335 Puffin' tha herb Puffin' tha herb... 348 00:20:47,828 --> 00:20:51,348 [ Jip Narrating ] But he can't scratch to save his life. He just digs the fantasy, man. 349 00:20:51,349 --> 00:20:53,139 Go on, my son! 350 00:20:53,207 --> 00:20:56,594 [ Cheers, Applause ] 351 00:21:08,233 --> 00:21:11,239 So is your brother still going out with you lot tonight, yeah? 352 00:21:11,310 --> 00:21:13,168 Yeah, under the wing. 353 00:21:13,233 --> 00:21:15,121 He hasn't dropped before, has he? 354 00:21:15,187 --> 00:21:17,327 No, breaking his cherry tonight. 355 00:21:17,399 --> 00:21:21,200 - How old is he? Seventeen? - He's gonna do it eventually, so I reckon... 356 00:21:21,276 --> 00:21:24,028 he's better off with me than mixing with the wrong crowd, you know? 357 00:21:24,095 --> 00:21:26,881 - Just keep an eye on him though, yeah? - Hmm. 358 00:21:28,868 --> 00:21:32,134 I'm about to be part of the chemical generation. 359 00:21:32,201 --> 00:21:36,069 Doves, playboys, biscuits, barrels, calis, clear caps, China whites, 360 00:21:36,143 --> 00:21:38,566 rhubarbs, looney tunes, New Yorkers. 361 00:21:38,641 --> 00:21:40,498 Bang on it. Larging it. 362 00:21:40,563 --> 00:21:45,042 The full monty, safe as houses, pair of trousers, what a laugh, let's do another half. 363 00:21:45,112 --> 00:21:47,001 [ Jip Narrating ] Now Lee is Nina's little brother. 364 00:21:47,067 --> 00:21:49,558 None of us know him, but he's gonna take drugs with us anyway. 365 00:21:49,631 --> 00:21:52,023 His enthusiasm scares me, man. He reminds me of myself... 366 00:21:52,097 --> 00:21:54,336 when I was at the beginning of my ecstasy honeymoon. 367 00:21:54,405 --> 00:21:58,022 Are your legs open, you filthy little harlot? 368 00:21:58,089 --> 00:22:00,842 - Is that you, Koop? - Aw, fuck! Shit! 369 00:22:00,908 --> 00:22:03,299 Yeah. Sorry, Lu. Is Nina there, please? 370 00:22:03,375 --> 00:22:05,233 Sorry. 371 00:22:09,720 --> 00:22:12,888 - Hello. - Are your legs open? 372 00:22:12,955 --> 00:22:15,708 - Of course. - Then I'll begin. 373 00:22:21,893 --> 00:22:23,751 [ Rap music starts playing ] 374 00:22:23,816 --> 00:22:25,795 [ Koop rapping ] ...Girl, I'm gonna tie you up and wear the mask... 375 00:22:25,869 --> 00:22:27,726 ...With your strap-on cock fuck me up my ass... 376 00:22:27,791 --> 00:22:29,680 ...Your sexual powers leave me drained for hours... 377 00:22:29,743 --> 00:22:31,634 ...But I've gotta draw the line at golden showers... 378 00:22:31,698 --> 00:22:35,501 ...And, girl, you've got the sweetest arsehole... 379 00:22:35,576 --> 00:22:39,324 ...It's like a pink, quivering rabbit's nostril... 380 00:22:39,389 --> 00:22:41,279 ...Peace. 381 00:22:41,344 --> 00:22:43,201 [ Laughing ] What are you fucking like? 382 00:22:43,267 --> 00:22:46,117 Superb. Thank you, sweetie. 383 00:22:46,182 --> 00:22:48,967 Shit. You got your party head on for tonight? 384 00:22:49,033 --> 00:22:54,059 More so than Wurzel Gummidge on a kilo of Charlie Chan. But Lulu's not coming now. 385 00:22:54,126 --> 00:22:56,683 What? Oh, shit. Why not? 386 00:22:56,755 --> 00:22:59,988 She couldn't get a ticket, and she can't be arsed because of that twat. 387 00:23:00,054 --> 00:23:02,611 - Jip's not gonna be a happy shopper. - Oh, fucking hell. 388 00:23:02,683 --> 00:23:05,304 - Who'd have a ticket? - If I found one, do you reckon she'd go? 389 00:23:05,372 --> 00:23:08,509 Maybe. If Jip brings her. 390 00:23:09,538 --> 00:23:11,874 Geezer! 391 00:23:11,942 --> 00:23:14,365 Hey! What's happening, man? 392 00:23:14,441 --> 00:23:16,352 How's it going? Are you sorted or what? 393 00:23:16,426 --> 00:23:18,535 Hey, you're really cool, man. You're really cool. 394 00:23:18,605 --> 00:23:21,806 Eh, I know we've only just met, mate, but I think I love you, man. 395 00:23:21,873 --> 00:23:24,813 Eh, show me love, show me love, show me love! 396 00:23:24,885 --> 00:23:27,670 [ Laughs ] Eh, safe as fuck, you are, aren't you? 397 00:23:27,736 --> 00:23:30,162 I can't fault you, can I, brother? 398 00:23:30,236 --> 00:23:33,918 - It's like them fucking rookies back at Spike Island, man! - Jip, Jip!... 399 00:23:33,985 --> 00:23:36,639 - What? - Listen. Lulu couldn't get a ticket for tonight. 400 00:23:37,669 --> 00:23:40,901 What? Shit, man. Really? 401 00:23:40,970 --> 00:23:44,171 - Do you know anyone that's got a spare one? - Oh, fuck. 402 00:23:46,191 --> 00:23:49,196 Uh, I think, I think Moff did. 403 00:23:49,268 --> 00:23:52,119 But I'm not sure. It was a while ago. 404 00:23:52,184 --> 00:23:54,041 Oh, shit, man. 405 00:23:54,108 --> 00:23:56,762 [ Jip Narrating ] I've got to get Lu out tonight, man. 406 00:23:56,830 --> 00:23:59,736 I need to cheer her up,you know? Get her mind off that twat. 407 00:23:59,810 --> 00:24:02,662 When we hit the clubs together, we're like Bonnie and Clyde, man, way out West. 408 00:24:02,726 --> 00:24:05,479 She's the only girl I've ever felt chilled with,you know, 409 00:24:05,544 --> 00:24:07,400 because we've never fancied each other. 410 00:24:07,467 --> 00:24:10,220 Nothing could ever happen between us. I don't have to try and impress her... 411 00:24:10,288 --> 00:24:12,712 or worry about embarrassing silences. 412 00:24:12,786 --> 00:24:15,856 I've gotta get her a ticket and put a smile back on her face. 413 00:24:15,924 --> 00:24:17,969 [ Phone Ringing ] 414 00:24:21,533 --> 00:24:24,406 - Hello? - Hello! 415 00:24:24,480 --> 00:24:27,802 - Oh, hello. 416 00:24:25,643 --> 00:24:30,804 - Any contact with the Tyler, the germ? - Yeah, I get that prick the verbal post mortem this afternoon. 417 00:24:31,044 --> 00:24:33,766 - Oh, respect, respect, to the bird most, aye. 418 00:24:34,006 --> 00:24:35,580 Listen, I hear you couldn't get a ticket. 419 00:24:35,943 --> 00:24:37,417 Yeah, well, it's been a lucky week for me, you know? 420 00:24:37,766 --> 00:24:42,050 Well, I think that your luck is gonna change, sister, 421 00:24:42,124 --> 00:24:44,777 child of the beat, because... 422 00:24:44,848 --> 00:24:46,889 if I just reach down here and dip... 423 00:24:46,962 --> 00:24:50,610 into my "Uncle Santa Jip will fix it" magic box, 424 00:24:50,679 --> 00:24:54,164 you will find one freshly cut and preserved ticket for tonight's Asylum. 425 00:24:54,235 --> 00:24:57,980 - You got one? - Ah, yes. Ah, yes. I certainly did. 426 00:24:58,048 --> 00:25:01,532 Well, I don't know, Jip. The batteries are a bit low, you know? 427 00:25:01,605 --> 00:25:03,812 Aw, fuck that shit, Lu. Come on. 428 00:25:03,878 --> 00:25:07,496 Come on. Everyone's going. Come on, Lu. Me and you, yeah? 429 00:25:08,056 --> 00:25:09,054 Come on, you've got to go. 430 00:25:09,055 --> 00:25:13,976 Lister, Tyler is a prick, right? He's a prick. Do not go down with that one goose paw. 431 00:25:14,336 --> 00:25:14,993 You know I'm saying to ya? 432 00:25:15,104 --> 00:25:17,697 Anyway, town's gonna be full of horny men, do you know what I mean? 433 00:25:17,976 --> 00:25:22,257 Fuck it, fuck it! All your best friends who love you. They love you. 434 00:25:22,334 --> 00:25:24,191 They all want you to be there, yeah? 435 00:25:24,256 --> 00:25:26,463 Come on. We'll go an absolute fucking ride. 436 00:25:26,530 --> 00:25:29,666 Me and you. Absolute mayhem. Come on. We'll take the piss. 437 00:25:29,734 --> 00:25:32,805 Absolute chaos. What are you saying? Come on. Yeah? 438 00:25:32,875 --> 00:25:35,596 - All right! You got me! - I wanna hear you say yes! 439 00:25:35,661 --> 00:25:38,119 - Yes! Yes! - Yes! Yes! 440 00:25:38,193 --> 00:25:40,915 - Yes! - Yes, yes, yes, yes, yes! 441 00:25:40,980 --> 00:25:43,352 - See you later, babe. - [ Laughs ] 442 00:25:43,416 --> 00:25:47,796 Oh! He who dares, wins. He who dares, my son. 443 00:25:47,868 --> 00:25:49,727 [ Phone Ringing ] 444 00:25:52,643 --> 00:25:55,746 Hold on a minute. Hello? 445 00:25:55,816 --> 00:25:59,268 Eh, eh, eh, eh! How's it going, you big Cockney space case? 446 00:25:59,341 --> 00:26:01,548 - Shut it. - Listen, did you manage to sell that ticket... 447 00:26:01,615 --> 00:26:03,407 for tonight's spiritual gathering? 448 00:26:03,472 --> 00:26:07,275 - No, mate. No, not at all. No. - Ah! Nice one! 449 00:26:07,349 --> 00:26:09,523 - Why? Who needs one? Who, who? - Lulu. 450 00:26:09,592 --> 00:26:13,656 - Oh, sweet as. Sweet as, mate. - Cool, cool. 451 00:26:13,726 --> 00:26:16,064 - [ Man ] Matthew! - Oh, for fuck's sake. 452 00:26:16,130 --> 00:26:18,336 I'll catch you later, mate. Don't go changing to try and please me, all right? 453 00:26:18,404 --> 00:26:20,446 - Yeah, nice one, "bruv." Yeah. - Oh, nice one, brother. 454 00:26:20,518 --> 00:26:22,495 - Nice one, brother! - Nice one, brother! 455 00:26:22,567 --> 00:26:25,027 I said nice, bruv! 456 00:26:25,099 --> 00:26:28,070 - Nice one, brother! - I said nice, bruv! 457 00:26:28,142 --> 00:26:31,181 - Fucking nice one, brother! - Nice one, bruv-- 458 00:26:31,253 --> 00:26:33,874 - Brother! - Fuck off!. 459 00:26:35,512 --> 00:26:37,719 - Come on! - [ Jip Narrating ] The weekend has landed. 460 00:26:37,789 --> 00:26:40,957 All that exists now is clubs, drugs, pubs and parties. 461 00:26:41,023 --> 00:26:43,132 I've got 48 hours off from the world, man. 462 00:26:43,202 --> 00:26:46,141 I'm gonna blow steam out of my head like a screaming kettle. 463 00:26:46,213 --> 00:26:49,000 I'm gonna talk codshit to strangers all night. 464 00:26:49,065 --> 00:26:51,012 I'm gonna lose the plot on the dance floor. 465 00:26:51,086 --> 00:26:53,673 The free radicals inside me are freaking, man. 466 00:26:53,745 --> 00:26:56,596 Tonight I'm Jip Travolta. I'm Peter Popper. 467 00:26:56,661 --> 00:26:59,414 I'm going to Never Never Land with my chosen family, man. 468 00:26:59,479 --> 00:27:02,351 We're gonna get more spaced out than Neil Armstrong ever did. 469 00:27:02,427 --> 00:27:05,017 Anything could happen tonight, you know? This could be the best night of my life. 470 00:27:05,086 --> 00:27:07,807 I've got 73 quid in my back burner. 471 00:27:07,873 --> 00:27:11,522 I'm gonna wax the lot, man. The Milky Bars are on me! Yeah! 472 00:27:11,591 --> 00:27:14,824 Calling all the crusaders to the dance floor in green-light mode. 473 00:27:14,890 --> 00:27:17,097 - [ Shouts ] - Disco queens, 474 00:27:17,165 --> 00:27:19,372 club casualties, come on! 475 00:27:19,441 --> 00:27:22,313 Let's join forces! Let's hoof it! Ah! 476 00:27:22,389 --> 00:27:26,451 [ Indistinct Rap Song ] 477 00:27:34,339 --> 00:27:36,197 [ Chuckling ] 478 00:27:36,262 --> 00:27:40,227 [ Jip Narrating ] But first a daily injection of the late prophet Bill Hicks... 479 00:27:40,299 --> 00:27:42,790 just to remind me not to take life too seriously. 480 00:27:42,861 --> 00:27:44,719 [ Hicks ] It's not a very popular idea. 481 00:27:44,784 --> 00:27:48,399 You don't hear it very often anymore, but it's the truth. 482 00:27:48,469 --> 00:27:51,822 I have taken drugs before, and, uh-- 483 00:27:54,590 --> 00:27:56,663 - I had a real good time. [ Laughter] 484 00:27:58,369 --> 00:28:01,242 Didn't murder anybody, didn't rob anybody, didn't rape anybody, 485 00:28:01,316 --> 00:28:05,152 didn't beat anybody, didn't lose, um, one fucking job. 486 00:28:05,226 --> 00:28:08,394 [ Laughter] - Laughed my ass off... 487 00:28:08,460 --> 00:28:10,985 and went about my day. 488 00:28:11,057 --> 00:28:13,647 [ Applause, Cheering ] 489 00:28:13,716 --> 00:28:16,021 Sorry. 490 00:28:17,464 --> 00:28:20,640 [ Man ] We are from weekend music live and direct from the world famous studios, of course, 491 00:28:20,656 --> 00:28:22,774 of Radio One here, the Essential Selection, 492 00:28:22,817 --> 00:28:26,941 - Look to the magical elements, all go to make up the golden thing we call the weekend-- - Come on! 493 00:28:27,160 --> 00:28:29,551 [ Laughing ] 494 00:28:29,506 --> 00:28:31,363 Who the fuck do you think you are, you twat? 495 00:28:31,411 --> 00:28:32,665 Why don't you come through the door like everyone else? 496 00:28:32,666 --> 00:28:34,524 Because I'm not everybody else, fool. 497 00:28:34,589 --> 00:28:37,387 Eh, don't make me, fucking, prove my masculinity to you now, do you know what I mean? 498 00:28:37,388 --> 00:28:39,652 Masculinity, what? Testosterone's flowing, bro, eh? 499 00:28:39,662 --> 00:28:43,596 - Violence is inevitable, mate. - Oh, I smells a glassin' in the air, boys, is it? 500 00:28:43,668 --> 00:28:47,446 - Glassing is it? Fuck you! - Fuck you! Fuck you! 501 00:28:47,511 --> 00:28:50,514 [ Shouting, Indistinct ] 502 00:28:50,586 --> 00:28:52,478 [ Together] ...mighty feet old man! 503 00:28:52,542 --> 00:28:55,776 - [ Laughing ] - [ Laughing ] Come on! 504 00:28:57,473 --> 00:28:59,153 So what, you want a mission tonight then, or what?! 505 00:28:59,154 --> 00:29:04,634 I'm all revved up, I'm all revved up. I'm ready to paint the town psycadelic ?pillows?, everything, man. 506 00:29:04,635 --> 00:29:08,914 - Battyman and Robin. You now what I mean? Let's go, ain't shit. - The only way out, right. The only way out. 507 00:29:08,915 --> 00:29:11,636 Steroids, ketamine, laughing gas. Bring'em all here. 508 00:29:11,637 --> 00:29:16,758 What do you say? We'll do a fucking armed robbery in boots on the comedown. 509 00:29:16,802 --> 00:29:18,254 - Is it? - Is it. 510 00:29:20,558 --> 00:29:21,599 Come on! 511 00:29:21,680 --> 00:29:23,696 [ Music playing ] 512 00:29:39,179 --> 00:29:42,924 Hey, mate. Mate, have you seen "Taxi Driver"? [ Note: A film from 1976 with R. de Niro ] 513 00:29:43,168 --> 00:29:46,237 - Yeah. - Yeah? 514 00:29:46,308 --> 00:29:49,094 Hey, mate, can you relate to it, sort of thing? 515 00:29:49,159 --> 00:29:51,268 - Yeah. - Yeah? Fuck. 516 00:29:51,338 --> 00:29:54,189 Do you understand? You could be Cardiff's answer to Travis Bickel, 517 00:29:54,253 --> 00:29:56,109 on a timer waiting to explode. 518 00:29:56,176 --> 00:29:58,316 Can you fucking believe that? I mean, can you imagine doing that? 519 00:29:58,387 --> 00:30:01,173 Imagine doing a Travis. I mean, fucking hell! 520 00:30:01,239 --> 00:30:03,891 See me, I'd have to take a celebrity with me. 521 00:30:03,962 --> 00:30:07,348 Someone like, um-- What's his name? Uh, er, uh-- 522 00:30:07,422 --> 00:30:10,143 What's his name? Uh-- British pop throb. 523 00:30:10,209 --> 00:30:12,514 You know? Built like a brick shithouse, he is. 524 00:30:12,580 --> 00:30:16,383 Uh, ugly fuck. Peter Andre. Peter Andre, yeah. 525 00:30:16,457 --> 00:30:18,313 I couldn't just shoot him first, though, mate. 526 00:30:18,379 --> 00:30:20,236 You're having a laugh, isn't you? [ Laughs ] 527 00:30:20,302 --> 00:30:23,373 Oh, no. That's be like having the cream cake whole without it touching the sides. 528 00:30:23,442 --> 00:30:25,300 You know what I mean? 529 00:30:25,365 --> 00:30:27,637 I believe it would be quite rude not to torture him first. 530 00:30:27,703 --> 00:30:30,806 Do you know what I mean though, mate, do ya? 531 00:30:30,876 --> 00:30:34,525 Thumbscrews instantly spring to mind. [ Snickering ] 532 00:30:34,591 --> 00:30:38,690 You know, followed by an intense session of electrodes on the testicles. 533 00:30:38,756 --> 00:30:42,109 Yeah, yeah, a fucking, uh, uh, a wire coat hanger down the Jap's eyes. 534 00:30:42,187 --> 00:30:44,295 Do you know what I mean? Really fucking hurt the geezer, do you know what I mean? 535 00:30:44,364 --> 00:30:46,668 And finally, a bullet between the eyes. 536 00:30:46,735 --> 00:30:48,877 And it's time to say hello to the, to the horned man... 537 00:30:48,947 --> 00:30:52,334 you've been working on Earth for all this time, Pete! 538 00:30:52,406 --> 00:30:55,257 See you later on, Pete! No one gives a fuck about you! 539 00:30:55,322 --> 00:30:58,938 [ Imitates Shotgun ] Fucking hell, mate. 540 00:30:59,006 --> 00:31:01,311 - Right. - Here, here. 541 00:31:01,376 --> 00:31:04,130 Fucking good film, though. mate, ain't it, eh? God! 542 00:31:19,149 --> 00:31:21,006 [ Jip Narrating ] Friday night's ceremony is always... 543 00:31:21,071 --> 00:31:22,927 to hook up in a bar and wind up the weekend. 544 00:31:22,992 --> 00:31:24,850 We've all got to try and get on the same level together... 545 00:31:24,916 --> 00:31:26,860 so we feel like a unit when we hit the club. 546 00:31:26,934 --> 00:31:30,002 The music we love brought us together and so did the music we hate. 547 00:31:30,073 --> 00:31:31,929 - The Spice Girls. - Boyzone. 548 00:31:31,995 --> 00:31:33,852 - Dannii Minogue. - Aqua. 549 00:31:33,918 --> 00:31:36,443 - Ricky fuckin' Martin. - The Backstreet Boys. 550 00:31:36,515 --> 00:31:39,135 - Uh, 911. - Hanson. 551 00:31:39,205 --> 00:31:41,957 What gets me, right, is that these talentless wankers... 552 00:31:42,024 --> 00:31:44,614 have the opportunity to reach an international audience, right, 553 00:31:44,682 --> 00:31:46,541 say something profound instead of-- 554 00:31:46,607 --> 00:31:49,872 " Oh, baby, I'm all alone on the phone " 555 00:31:49,938 --> 00:31:52,276 " I'm 14 years old with a broken heart " 556 00:31:52,342 --> 00:31:54,800 Fucking cheese on toast bollocks. 557 00:31:54,874 --> 00:31:56,883 Fucking embarrassing, mate, ain't it? 558 00:31:56,955 --> 00:32:00,889 Embarrassing to watch the little fucking hussy fuckers. 559 00:32:15,538 --> 00:32:19,155 [ Jip Narrating ] She's funny, she's cool, she's gorgeous. 560 00:32:19,223 --> 00:32:21,266 Oh, shit, I fancy her, man. 561 00:32:21,338 --> 00:32:23,349 No, I can't. She's my mate. 562 00:32:23,926 --> 00:32:27,246 - I'm gonna piss. - Get it in, my son. Go, my son. 563 00:32:27,846 --> 00:32:30,047 Calm down. That's only a piss, man. 564 00:32:33,568 --> 00:32:37,630 I am out of my nuts. I'm telling you, we're in for one fucking night, mate. 565 00:32:37,700 --> 00:32:39,558 Believe me. I'm telling you. 566 00:32:39,623 --> 00:32:41,480 You fucking stick with me. I'll look after you. 567 00:32:41,545 --> 00:32:45,412 I'll tell you that now,you've never buzzed like you ever buzz with me. Do you hear me? 568 00:32:44,771 --> 00:32:47,644 [ Lee Narrating ] Oh, I thought I was just gonna drop and have a blender. 569 00:32:47,718 --> 00:32:51,497 What's all this shit about mind altering? What's gonna happen to me? 570 00:32:51,562 --> 00:32:55,561 We believe that ecstasy causes serotonin depletion... 571 00:32:55,631 --> 00:32:58,634 and may lead to depression in later life. 572 00:32:58,708 --> 00:33:02,008 [ Jip ] Yeah, all right, Doc. Yeah. Fair enough. But on the flip side, Lee, 573 00:33:02,072 --> 00:33:04,596 you'll feel an overwhelming sense of empathy with people. 574 00:33:04,668 --> 00:33:06,556 You'll be able to be intimate with your friends, 575 00:33:06,621 --> 00:33:08,828 talk about things that you never felt comfortable enough to say before. 576 00:33:08,897 --> 00:33:12,250 Overheating when dancing on ecstasy... 577 00:33:12,324 --> 00:33:15,558 increases heart rate and palpitations... 578 00:33:15,623 --> 00:33:18,629 and can cause heatstroke, resulting in death. 579 00:33:18,701 --> 00:33:21,354 Statistically, you're more likely to die... 580 00:33:21,425 --> 00:33:23,728 from choking on a cabbage leaf or an argument in a pub... 581 00:33:23,794 --> 00:33:25,685 than you are from dropping an "E." 582 00:33:25,749 --> 00:33:30,972 Alcohol kills 30,000 people a year alone in Britain. 583 00:33:31,037 --> 00:33:34,872 But that's all right because that's a good taxable drug, nonetheless, isn't it? 584 00:33:34,945 --> 00:33:39,344 Your penis will shrivel up, and you won't be able to get an erection. 585 00:33:39,911 --> 00:33:44,186 [ Bell Tolling ] Anyone, who repeatedly takes ecstasy, 586 00:33:44,506 --> 00:33:48,707 is punching the wall between consciousness and unconsciousness. 587 00:33:49,547 --> 00:33:52,989 In later life, instead of reaching for the lasers, 588 00:33:53,229 --> 00:33:55,469 you could be reaching for the prescriptions. 589 00:34:01,271 --> 00:34:04,024 - Yeah. 590 00:34:06,588 --> 00:34:10,108 - Anyway, it's good seeing you again, man. - Yeah, yeah. Take care. 591 00:34:10,178 --> 00:34:12,123 - See you in the club later on, yeah? - Yeah, yeah, okay. 592 00:34:12,197 --> 00:34:15,430 - Nice one, nice one. See ya. - Cheers. Cheers. 593 00:34:15,497 --> 00:34:17,833 See ya. See ya. 594 00:34:22,513 --> 00:34:24,819 Fucking hell, man. 595 00:34:24,885 --> 00:34:26,894 If we'd have been more honest with each other, 596 00:34:26,966 --> 00:34:29,271 that conversation would have gone a bit more like this. 597 00:34:29,339 --> 00:34:32,275 - Fucking shame we had eye contact when I walked in. - Yeah. 598 00:34:32,349 --> 00:34:34,459 Yeah, I know. Every time we bump into each other, 599 00:34:34,528 --> 00:34:38,560 we kinda fall into this groove of pretending that we like each other. 600 00:34:38,631 --> 00:34:41,930 I don't dislike anything about you, but I just don't like anything about you, either. 601 00:34:41,995 --> 00:34:46,343 Yeah. Together we kinda surf the waves of social paranoia, don't we? 602 00:34:46,417 --> 00:34:48,907 No uncomfortable silences as yet. 603 00:34:48,978 --> 00:34:52,844 Yeah, well, not as yet, but, you know, our luck's not gonna last forever, is it? 604 00:34:52,918 --> 00:34:55,410 Maybe it's time for your Houdini impression. What do you reckon? 605 00:34:55,483 --> 00:34:58,236 Yeah, all right, man. Uh, I'm gonna get a drink from the bar. 606 00:34:58,301 --> 00:35:00,673 - Yeah, and you're with friends. - And I'll see you later. 607 00:35:00,739 --> 00:35:03,459 - That's the one. - Let's pretend we didn't see each other next time, yeah? 608 00:35:03,525 --> 00:35:06,015 - Absolutely crucifying as always, mate. - Yeah, whatever. 609 00:35:06,087 --> 00:35:08,743 - Uh, look forward to seeing you. - Yeah, like an illness. 610 00:35:08,810 --> 00:35:11,781 - Don't get run over. Die. - Okay. Die. 611 00:35:11,855 --> 00:35:14,893 - Wanker! - Wanker! 612 00:35:15,028 --> 00:35:18,032 Friday night after the club, yeah? 613 00:35:18,104 --> 00:35:20,922 I got a hard-on, so I ring one of them porn lines. 614 00:35:28,516 --> 00:35:30,691 Hello? 615 00:35:30,758 --> 00:35:35,075 Yeah. My name's... Bob. 616 00:35:35,149 --> 00:35:39,977 I'm from, uh-- from West-- West London area. What color drawers you got on? 617 00:35:40,051 --> 00:35:42,703 I'm buzzing my tits off, yeah? I'm fucked. 618 00:35:42,775 --> 00:35:44,632 I end up going off on these, on these tangents... 619 00:35:44,697 --> 00:35:47,286 about me life and me aspirations and shit like that, you know? 620 00:35:47,357 --> 00:35:49,213 It's like, what are you doing? 621 00:35:49,279 --> 00:35:52,928 Yeah, I'm a, a b-business interpret-- Um-- 622 00:35:52,996 --> 00:35:56,863 Ul-Ultra-- I'm an ultrapren-- "Ultrapreneur." 623 00:35:56,937 --> 00:36:00,738 Have you got brown nipples or just like-- 624 00:36:00,812 --> 00:36:06,090 What? You wear all-- What, you wear all black nail polish and that, do ya? Fuck. 625 00:36:06,164 --> 00:36:08,371 Next thing I know, the old man's hitting me with, 626 00:36:08,438 --> 00:36:10,613 "Who the hell you been ringing in Taiwan, boy?" 627 00:36:10,680 --> 00:36:13,073 - Who the hell you been calling in Taiwan? - Taiwan? 628 00:36:13,147 --> 00:36:15,005 - That's what he said. - Fucking hell. 629 00:36:15,071 --> 00:36:17,560 Listen, 145 fucking quid. 630 00:36:17,634 --> 00:36:21,633 - Fucking hell! - I'm fucking telling you, man. 145 quid. 631 00:36:21,704 --> 00:36:25,122 - Believe it. - Fucking hell, Moff. 632 00:36:25,194 --> 00:36:27,466 Fuck! [ Laughing ] 633 00:36:27,534 --> 00:36:30,856 Fair play, mate, fair play. That is the most expensive wank I've ever heard of. 634 00:36:30,930 --> 00:36:32,974 - Fuck's sake, keep it down will ya? - Sorry, sorry. 635 00:36:33,044 --> 00:36:36,050 - Sorry. - Fucking hell. Listen, listen, right. 636 00:36:36,121 --> 00:36:38,841 What really took the piss was she was more Cockney than me. 637 00:36:38,907 --> 00:36:42,142 Now can you fucking believe that, Jip? Do you know what I mean? 638 00:36:42,210 --> 00:36:44,066 Listen, now the old cunt's giving it-- 639 00:36:44,131 --> 00:36:45,987 Yeah, I know you're sorry. Yeah, you will be sorry... 640 00:36:46,053 --> 00:36:48,064 'cause if in seven days you don't pay it off, I'm gonna chuck you out, all right? 641 00:36:48,137 --> 00:36:49,993 That's nice, Dad. That is so nice. 642 00:36:50,059 --> 00:36:52,364 You lie in bed all fucking day. You haven't had a job for over a year. 643 00:36:52,430 --> 00:36:55,695 You don't have a girlfriend. You're throwing your life away, boy! 644 00:36:55,763 --> 00:36:58,252 And chucking me out on the street, that's just what I need at the moment, isn't it? 645 00:36:58,324 --> 00:37:00,881 Don't give me that bollocks about you're gonna throw me out 'cause it ain't even your house. 646 00:37:00,953 --> 00:37:02,841 Ain't even my house? Well, it won't be your house in a fucking week. 647 00:37:02,908 --> 00:37:04,765 - No? - You're 20 years of age, for fuck's sake. 648 00:37:04,830 --> 00:37:07,482 You really don't understand at all, do you, eh? 649 00:37:07,553 --> 00:37:09,695 I haven't got one friend that actually enjoys their job. 650 00:37:09,763 --> 00:37:11,970 Each one counts down the days till Friday. 651 00:37:12,038 --> 00:37:14,977 Dad, I'm not ready to become that miserable. 652 00:37:15,051 --> 00:37:17,901 - Matthew! - Life's hard enough, for fuck's sake. 653 00:37:17,965 --> 00:37:20,652 - I'm still researching. - Everyone's gotta work, Matthew. 654 00:37:20,721 --> 00:37:22,577 Don't you understand? I'm unemployed full time. 655 00:37:22,643 --> 00:37:25,515 - I ain't got enough hours in the fucking day. - "Hours in the fucking day?" 656 00:37:25,592 --> 00:37:27,982 You ain't even here in the fucking day. And take this with you and all, 657 00:37:28,057 --> 00:37:30,777 you fucking little-- - Yeah? Bollocks! 658 00:37:30,844 --> 00:37:33,815 I mean, how many times have I told you? Get your own fucking flat. 659 00:37:33,889 --> 00:37:36,796 Get your own flat. You need your own flat, man. Seriously. 660 00:37:36,870 --> 00:37:39,721 It's a piece of piss. You can get it on the Social. 661 00:37:39,786 --> 00:37:41,729 Where am I gonna go, for fuck's sake? 662 00:37:41,803 --> 00:37:45,289 Fuck. I don't know. What the fuck do you care? 663 00:37:45,358 --> 00:37:47,534 As long as it's got a fucking phone line, it's all right, isn't it? 664 00:37:47,603 --> 00:37:49,459 Fuck off, you cunt. 665 00:37:49,589 --> 00:37:53,204 [ Jip Narrating ] I can't fucking relax. Glad to see I'm not alone. 666 00:37:53,274 --> 00:37:56,123 I really want to lose my inhibitions. You know, be able to talk to strangers. 667 00:37:56,187 --> 00:37:58,942 Break the ice. But I can't be arsed either. 668 00:37:59,010 --> 00:38:01,117 I don't need this stress on my night off. 669 00:38:01,189 --> 00:38:04,639 Britain, chill the fuck out and then show me how to do it. 670 00:38:04,711 --> 00:38:07,017 I think it's time for a new national anthem. 671 00:38:07,082 --> 00:38:09,420 You know? One I can relate to. 672 00:39:22,312 --> 00:39:24,426 [ Jip Narrating ] Yeah, well, maybe not. 673 00:39:25,290 --> 00:39:29,131 [ Music playing ] 674 00:40:27,049 --> 00:40:30,170 [ Jip ] No, no, Moff, Moff. This is not funny, man. Don't fuck about. 675 00:40:30,610 --> 00:40:34,031 Look, I-- Look, I just don't understand. I-I had it in here. I had it in here. 676 00:40:34,091 --> 00:40:35,051 Have you left it in the pub? 677 00:40:35,052 --> 00:40:38,412 No, I didn't take me wallet out once. I was paying with shrapnel in there. That's why-- 678 00:40:38,491 --> 00:40:40,348 All right. Well, maybe there are tickets on the door. 679 00:40:40,414 --> 00:40:42,358 No way. No way. Not tonight. 680 00:40:43,293 --> 00:40:48,374 - Fuck. - I'm so sorry, Lu. I'm sorry. - Look. Forget about it, it was a bad card. I just wasn't meant to have it. 681 00:40:49,375 --> 00:40:51,055 Fuckin' anticlimax. 682 00:40:52,175 --> 00:40:55,474 This is not gonna happen, man. No way is this gonna happen. 683 00:40:55,540 --> 00:40:57,397 Okay, what's the-- What's the owner of this club called? 684 00:40:57,462 --> 00:41:01,209 - Peter. - No, it's not Peter. It's a Spanish name. Pablo. 685 00:41:01,274 --> 00:41:03,219 Pablo Hassan. No way, mate. 686 00:41:03,293 --> 00:41:05,717 - Pablo Hassan. - No, mate. Don't even think about it. 687 00:41:05,792 --> 00:41:07,966 - No, sweetheart. You can't. - No, seriously, right? 688 00:41:08,035 --> 00:41:11,455 Ten minutes. If I'm not back here in ten minutes, I'll see you in there, right? 689 00:41:11,528 --> 00:41:14,695 - Ten minutes, it's all right. - Jip. 690 00:41:14,764 --> 00:41:16,621 - Excuse me, mate. - What? 691 00:41:16,686 --> 00:41:18,543 I'm from Mix mag. Got an appointment with Mr. Hassan. 692 00:41:18,608 --> 00:41:22,290 - Jip, sweetheart, no. It's not worth it. - Go on, my son. Go on, my son. 693 00:41:22,357 --> 00:41:24,749 - I'm a bit late, mate. Do you know what I mean? - Whoa. 694 00:41:24,824 --> 00:41:28,244 - Oh, no. It's not worth it, man. - Have a bit of faith. 695 00:41:28,317 --> 00:41:30,709 I've got an appointment with your boss. Can I go in, please? 696 00:41:30,783 --> 00:41:34,333 - Pablo Hassan. - Listen to me. This geezer's never let me down yet. 697 00:41:34,404 --> 00:41:36,261 - I'm telling you now. - He's not gonna get in. 698 00:41:40,748 --> 00:41:42,692 Doesn't fuck about, does he? 699 00:41:44,945 --> 00:41:47,282 [ Jip Narrating ] Jip, what the fuck are you doing, man? 700 00:41:47,349 --> 00:41:51,095 This is Pablo Hassan. A complete schizophrenic cokehead. 701 00:41:51,161 --> 00:41:55,541 If he reckons you're fucking with him, his boys are gonna fucking maim you, man. 702 00:41:55,614 --> 00:41:59,296 Ah, but he likes to think himself as a bit of a businessman, yeah? 703 00:41:59,363 --> 00:42:03,197 Yeah. And I came here to do business. 704 00:42:03,272 --> 00:42:06,822 Hiya. Pablo Hassan? Tony Trueman. Sorry I'm late. 705 00:42:06,892 --> 00:42:09,164 - I don't know anything about this, man. - No? 706 00:42:09,232 --> 00:42:11,985 - No. - [ Exhales ] 707 00:42:12,051 --> 00:42:15,950 Oh, uh-- My secretary phoned here yesterday afternoon. 708 00:42:16,024 --> 00:42:20,372 She, um-- She spoke to someone here, arranged a meeting for tonight. 8:00. 709 00:42:20,445 --> 00:42:24,411 - It's all news to me, man. - [ Sighing ] Oh, God. I don't believe this. 710 00:42:24,483 --> 00:42:29,574 Well, basically, what it is-- Mix mag, yeah, have done a survey of Welsh clubs. 711 00:42:29,642 --> 00:42:34,284 The Asylum has been voted the best club atmosphere in the whole of Wales. 712 00:42:34,351 --> 00:42:36,208 - Nice one. - [ Jip Narrating ] He's going for it. 713 00:42:36,273 --> 00:42:38,218 Yeah. We're gonna do a, a double-page spread. 714 00:42:38,292 --> 00:42:40,816 I interview yourself, obviously, resident DJs, 715 00:42:40,887 --> 00:42:43,061 uh, some of the clubbers, shoot everything. 716 00:42:43,130 --> 00:42:45,654 - [ Jip Narrating ] Jip, you're overdoing it, man. - You wanna do it now, yeah? 717 00:42:45,726 --> 00:42:47,583 - [ Jip Narrating ] Don't blow it. - Well-- 718 00:42:47,648 --> 00:42:50,335 Well, you see, that's the only problem. You're not gonna believe this. 719 00:42:50,403 --> 00:42:53,254 Just got down here from London, right? And I've just found out... 720 00:42:53,319 --> 00:42:57,448 my photographer was involved in a fucking car crash on the way here tonight, man. 721 00:42:57,517 --> 00:43:01,351 - [ Jip Narrating ] What am I talking about? - It's nothing serious, it's-- 722 00:43:01,425 --> 00:43:04,331 - It just means we can't do it tonight. - You mean to tell me... 723 00:43:04,404 --> 00:43:07,091 you drove all the way down here from London just so you can't give an interview? 724 00:43:07,160 --> 00:43:09,105 [ Jip Narrating ] It's all over, Jip. You fucked it up. 725 00:43:09,179 --> 00:43:11,254 [ Chuckling ] I know. It's-- 726 00:43:11,326 --> 00:43:13,947 For fuck's sake. I'm sorry about this, mate. 727 00:43:14,016 --> 00:43:15,994 Can I use your phone? Someone's made a big fuck up here. 728 00:43:16,068 --> 00:43:19,902 I wanna talk to my secretary to sort this out. Cheers. 729 00:43:23,309 --> 00:43:25,733 Come on, come on. 730 00:43:25,807 --> 00:43:29,707 Carmel. Yeah, it's me. Yeah, I'm in Wales. 731 00:43:29,781 --> 00:43:32,567 Listen, what the fuck's going on? I'm with Pablo Hassan now. It's-- 732 00:43:32,632 --> 00:43:35,253 Yeah, all right. Yeah, all right. I don't wanna hear it. 733 00:43:35,323 --> 00:43:38,557 Listen, has Danny Rampling confirmed his set tomorrow night at the ministry? 734 00:43:38,624 --> 00:43:41,923 - Danny who, love? - He did. Okay. All right. 735 00:43:41,988 --> 00:43:45,441 Cheers, Carmel. Oh, have you heard any more about Scott's accident? 736 00:43:45,513 --> 00:43:48,812 - What accident? - Yeah, okay. All right. See you later. 737 00:43:48,876 --> 00:43:51,662 [ Dial Tone ] 738 00:43:51,728 --> 00:43:55,956 Dizzy bitch. Cheers, mate. Uh-- 739 00:43:56,021 --> 00:43:58,480 I can't do tomorrow night. Uh-- 740 00:43:58,553 --> 00:44:01,239 - Next Friday night? Is that all right with you? - Yeah, we'll go for that. 741 00:44:01,309 --> 00:44:05,208 Nice one. Sorry about the fuck up tonight, mate. I promise we'll get it right next time. 742 00:44:05,281 --> 00:44:08,034 - All right, Tony. - All right. I'll see you next Friday, mate. 743 00:44:08,100 --> 00:44:11,104 [ Jip Narrating ] He who dares, my son. He who dares. 744 00:44:11,177 --> 00:44:13,203 Nice one, mate. Nice one. 745 00:44:13,363 --> 00:44:14,324 [ Dance Music ] 746 00:44:14,347 --> 00:44:19,188 - I hope he's alright. - Keeping my fingers crossed. - Sure he is. 747 00:44:19,268 --> 00:44:22,629 - Sure, here he is. - We're in. Come on! 748 00:44:24,110 --> 00:44:27,470 - Come on. Where is he? - Can you see him? 749 00:44:27,670 --> 00:44:32,272 - Look here. - Oh my God! 750 00:44:35,112 --> 00:44:38,193 - You're number one! - Mate. - What did I tell ya? 751 00:44:38,433 --> 00:44:39,433 - What happened? 752 00:44:39,289 --> 00:44:44,515 - Oh man, a heart attack had happened. - Ah, OK. OK! 753 00:44:49,715 --> 00:44:50,836 A dove, is it? 754 00:44:51,996 --> 00:44:53,916 - Yeah, mate. - Fuckin' lace, anyway? 755 00:44:53,917 --> 00:44:57,638 - Yeah, a bit of speedy, a bit of speedy. - Yeah. Proper as fuck, man. 756 00:44:58,638 --> 00:45:01,318 - Checking out the bush, yeah? - Oh oh, man, I'm checking out the bush, fuckin' 757 00:45:01,319 --> 00:45:04,599 24/7 fucking' 3-6-5! 758 00:45:05,480 --> 00:45:07,719 - What's your name, mate? - Oh, save as fuck, man! 759 00:45:07,720 --> 00:45:08,961 - What? - What? 760 00:45:09,561 --> 00:45:11,361 Your name's "Save as fuck"? 761 00:45:12,202 --> 00:45:14,401 - What are you all about, man? - I--, I asked you what your name was. 762 00:45:14,402 --> 00:45:16,563 You've just said "Save as fuck". 763 00:45:17,363 --> 00:45:20,923 - Huh, you're off the parade then only. - Yeah, mate. Murdered, mate, murdered. 764 00:45:21,484 --> 00:45:23,124 Inca Holmes. 765 00:45:24,125 --> 00:45:25,085 Yeah, Felix. 766 00:45:25,453 --> 00:45:29,526 - Oh, man. - Yeah. Nice on, me. Give a spirit alive. 767 00:45:30,166 --> 00:45:31,526 Save as fuck. 768 00:45:32,767 --> 00:45:33,160 Hi, babe. 769 00:45:33,256 --> 00:45:36,137 [ Music ] 770 00:46:33,983 --> 00:46:35,993 [ Lee Narrating ] Wonder how the drug system works in here. 771 00:46:39,269 --> 00:46:42,688 Every club is different, but in the Asylum, it's the manager. 772 00:46:42,761 --> 00:46:46,760 He has a string of homeboys dealing the pukka E's to the party people in the club. 773 00:46:46,831 --> 00:46:49,103 He makes the most coin out of this enterprise. 774 00:46:49,169 --> 00:46:52,042 His homies will make just a couple of quid on each pukka. 775 00:46:52,117 --> 00:46:54,968 His homies are also scoping for other dealers on the block. 776 00:46:55,033 --> 00:46:57,852 When the homies have an illegitimate pukka "E" dealer in their website, 777 00:46:57,917 --> 00:46:59,774 they tell the bouncers. 778 00:46:59,839 --> 00:47:03,357 The bouncers grip him, nab his stash and kick him out with a physical warning. 779 00:47:03,428 --> 00:47:07,459 Gives the pukka E's to their homies and they knock out to the kids in the club. 780 00:47:07,529 --> 00:47:09,473 What's your name? What have you had? 781 00:47:09,547 --> 00:47:12,333 Reach for the lasers. Safe as fuck. 782 00:47:22,906 --> 00:47:26,684 [ Crowd Cheering ] 783 00:47:34,731 --> 00:47:39,111 [ Women Shouting ] Hi, Jerry! We came all the way from Cardiff to say hi! 784 00:47:39,184 --> 00:47:41,227 [ Woman ] Excuse me, girls. Hi, we're doing a documentary... 785 00:47:41,299 --> 00:47:44,052 for television on the British club culture. 786 00:47:44,118 --> 00:47:46,161 - Would you mind answering a few question? - Yeah, fire away. 787 00:47:46,233 --> 00:47:49,018 Ah, great. Okay, Eric? Okay. 788 00:47:49,084 --> 00:47:52,023 Um, can I start by asking why you come to these nights? 789 00:47:52,097 --> 00:47:54,204 Oh, I'd like to answer that one, if I may. 790 00:47:54,276 --> 00:47:56,133 Sure. Go ahead. 791 00:47:56,198 --> 00:47:59,715 To get absolutely trashed. 792 00:47:59,786 --> 00:48:03,435 - Do you take ecstasy? - No, no. Well, we used to, 793 00:48:03,503 --> 00:48:06,605 but now we just jack up heroin and float around the club. 794 00:48:06,674 --> 00:48:08,465 You take heroin to come to the club? 795 00:48:08,533 --> 00:48:12,116 Yeah, well, we never used to, but then we saw Trainspotting, didn't we? 796 00:48:12,185 --> 00:48:14,075 And that just made us want to do it. 797 00:48:14,140 --> 00:48:18,073 And sometimes if we watch New Jack City before we go out, we smoke a bit of crack too. 798 00:48:18,145 --> 00:48:20,898 We just seem to be so impressionable. 799 00:48:20,965 --> 00:48:23,651 Well, it's the youth of today, you see. 800 00:48:23,720 --> 00:48:26,178 They need older people to show them how to live. 801 00:48:26,251 --> 00:48:30,729 Yeah. See, we learn from their mistakes because they've done it all before. 802 00:48:30,801 --> 00:48:33,008 - Yeah. Look at Jimi Hendrix. - And Elvis. 803 00:48:33,076 --> 00:48:35,348 - And Sting. - Sting's not dead yet. 804 00:48:35,414 --> 00:48:39,161 - No, but he should be. [ Laughing ] - [ Laughing ] 805 00:48:39,227 --> 00:48:41,205 Oh, uh, sorry. Do you have the time? 806 00:48:41,278 --> 00:48:43,135 Um, yeah, it's quarter to 1:00. 807 00:48:43,200 --> 00:48:45,789 Oh, shit. We've gotta go. We're late for our next hit. 808 00:48:45,860 --> 00:48:47,717 - Hi, Mom! - Hi, Mom! 809 00:48:51,663 --> 00:48:52,795 Bye! 810 00:48:52,818 --> 00:48:54,378 Fuckin' piss-trickers. 811 00:48:55,819 --> 00:48:57,579 What the fuck are we doin' here? 812 00:48:59,340 --> 00:49:02,220 It don't go like anyone says. It's not like it's used to be. 813 00:49:02,221 --> 00:49:04,340 It's gone too wide spread. 814 00:49:04,341 --> 00:49:09,701 It used to attract like open-minded people who--, who were lookin' for something new. 815 00:49:09,702 --> 00:49:12,903 - Yeah, yeah. And people were a lot more friendly. - Oh, yeah. 816 00:49:13,583 --> 00:49:18,704 Now, it's sometimes a cliché, right, to talk to a stranger in a club for something. 817 00:49:18,905 --> 00:49:22,585 This is essentive everyone's common together and doing what the fuck they liked. 818 00:49:22,986 --> 00:49:25,706 - And the more like people were over, the more they've got fun it. - That's it. 819 00:49:25,786 --> 00:49:31,628 - And now, look here. They so much more playing down, I'm so cool. Fuck off! - Yeah. 820 00:49:31,828 --> 00:49:34,829 We have lost the fundamental reason for using the "E" in the first place? 821 00:49:35,349 --> 00:49:38,269 Which is to leave the ego at the door, 822 00:49:38,550 --> 00:49:43,070 and feel comfortable enough to communicate with strangers. - Yeah. - You know what I mean? 823 00:49:43,471 --> 00:49:45,831 Oi, easy, man?! Fff... 824 00:49:47,592 --> 00:49:48,912 Twat! 825 00:49:49,633 --> 00:49:52,273 Ah, do you remember when this was Tom Toms, man? 826 00:49:52,465 --> 00:49:54,674 [ Both Laughing ] - Tom Toms. - Highly, hi! 827 00:49:54,837 --> 00:49:58,038 [ Indistinct Club Chattering ] 828 00:50:00,171 --> 00:50:03,372 [ Club Music Playing ] 829 00:50:32,043 --> 00:50:34,364 - Oklahoma! - Oooh! 830 00:50:45,207 --> 00:50:47,479 Right. I'm gonna tell you something. 831 00:50:47,546 --> 00:50:51,544 If this ever spreads, I will fucking die, right? 832 00:50:51,616 --> 00:50:55,549 I know you won't. I know, I know, but I'm just saying. Yeah? 833 00:50:55,620 --> 00:50:57,477 - Okay. Are you ready? - Yeah. 834 00:50:57,542 --> 00:50:59,399 - Are you sure? - Yeah. 835 00:50:59,465 --> 00:51:01,802 - All right. - [ Jip Narrating ] You're gonna regret this in the morning, Jip. 836 00:51:01,868 --> 00:51:04,042 I am sexually paranoid. 837 00:51:04,111 --> 00:51:07,596 I'm sexually paranoid. I'm sexually paranoid. 838 00:51:12,281 --> 00:51:15,831 Welcome to the '90s, Jip. 839 00:51:15,902 --> 00:51:18,141 Seriously. Sorry. Go on. 840 00:51:18,209 --> 00:51:21,825 Well, I kiss girls and all, yeah? And it's fine. 841 00:51:21,893 --> 00:51:26,339 And as soon as I sense that they want sex, 842 00:51:26,411 --> 00:51:29,710 I just make my fucking excuses and I'm out of there, man. 843 00:51:30,961 --> 00:51:34,860 - I know. It's pathetic. I know it is. - No, no. 844 00:51:34,933 --> 00:51:38,647 Everything happens for a reason, Jip. 845 00:51:38,715 --> 00:51:41,533 Yeah, but this is not me, Lu. Do you know what I-- This is not me. 846 00:51:42,559 --> 00:51:44,417 Give me an example. 847 00:51:46,596 --> 00:51:49,666 - An example? - Mm-hmm. 848 00:51:49,736 --> 00:51:51,681 All right. Uh-- 849 00:51:57,266 --> 00:51:59,123 What had you been doing? 850 00:51:59,188 --> 00:52:02,837 Well, I was stoned. Absolutely stoned out me trumpet, man. 851 00:52:05,020 --> 00:52:08,406 - You just do not look like you're enjoying this at all. - I know, I know. 852 00:52:08,479 --> 00:52:10,751 - Listen to this, listen to this. - [ Thinking ] She's more experienced than you. 853 00:52:10,818 --> 00:52:15,014 She's gonna see your cock soon. Say she's disappointed. Stop thinking this shit! 854 00:52:15,080 --> 00:52:17,669 Come on. You're gonna fuck the arse off her. She's gonna love it. 855 00:52:17,739 --> 00:52:21,191 Say if you lose it during sex. I bet she's had some amazing shags in her time. 856 00:52:21,264 --> 00:52:25,098 Oh, shut up, shut up! Oh, no. Fuck. Oh, it's going down. 857 00:52:25,172 --> 00:52:28,788 - Oh, God, please, please do me this solid. - [ Yelling ] 858 00:52:28,857 --> 00:52:32,855 - [ Laughing ] - Listen to this, listen to this. 859 00:52:32,926 --> 00:52:36,728 - What's wrong? - Nothing. 860 00:52:36,803 --> 00:52:39,294 Are you okay? 861 00:52:39,367 --> 00:52:43,528 Yeah, yeah. I'm, I'm fine. Uh. 862 00:52:43,595 --> 00:52:46,665 Just a bit tired, that's all. Sorry. 863 00:52:51,702 --> 00:52:56,279 - I've never had that happen to me before. - She's making it worse, man! 864 00:52:56,348 --> 00:52:58,259 It was my fault. If it wasn't for the way my head was thinking, 865 00:52:58,334 --> 00:53:00,191 everything would've been fine. You know what I mean? 866 00:53:00,257 --> 00:53:04,190 That is bollocks. We're not fucking robots. There's no rules to sex. 867 00:53:06,793 --> 00:53:09,830 I've gotta get up in the morning. I'd better go, okay? 868 00:53:09,900 --> 00:53:12,391 Um, okay. 869 00:53:12,464 --> 00:53:14,802 [ Chuckling ] Oh, no. 870 00:53:14,867 --> 00:53:18,384 Now she's paranoid. She thinks it's to do with her. 871 00:53:18,455 --> 00:53:22,005 - Yeah. - Yeah. I'll, I'll give you a call, yeah? 872 00:53:24,222 --> 00:53:26,746 Bye. 873 00:53:26,818 --> 00:53:29,057 All I could think was-- 874 00:53:30,791 --> 00:53:33,958 Fuck me. I'm impotent. 875 00:53:36,366 --> 00:53:40,714 [ Chuckling ] Oh, poor baby. 876 00:53:40,788 --> 00:53:42,645 Come here. 877 00:53:45,189 --> 00:53:51,069 [ Club Music Playing ] 878 00:54:21,862 --> 00:54:24,036 [ Jip Narrating ] The present has gone. 879 00:54:24,105 --> 00:54:26,792 Fantasy is a part of reality, 880 00:54:26,860 --> 00:54:29,034 and we take the brakes off. 881 00:54:29,103 --> 00:54:32,206 We're thinking clearly, yet not thinking at all. 882 00:54:33,268 --> 00:54:35,824 And this feels right. 883 00:54:35,896 --> 00:54:38,550 We stop trying to control things. 884 00:54:38,619 --> 00:54:42,268 Warm rush of chemicals through us. 885 00:54:42,336 --> 00:54:44,225 We're fluctuating. 886 00:54:45,252 --> 00:54:48,005 Is this brain damage? 887 00:54:48,071 --> 00:54:52,419 We forget all the pain and the hurt in life. We wanna go somewhere else. 888 00:54:52,492 --> 00:54:55,365 We're not threatened by people anymore. 889 00:54:55,440 --> 00:54:59,755 All our insecurities have evaporated. 890 00:54:59,829 --> 00:55:03,249 We're in the clouds now. We're wide open. 891 00:55:03,322 --> 00:55:06,555 We're spacemen orbiting the Earth. 892 00:55:06,622 --> 00:55:10,424 Yeah, the world looks beautiful from here, man. 893 00:55:10,500 --> 00:55:15,328 We're nympholeptics desiring for the unobtainable. 894 00:55:15,402 --> 00:55:19,465 We risk sanity for moments of temporary enlightenment. 895 00:55:19,534 --> 00:55:23,730 So many ideas. So little memory. 896 00:55:23,796 --> 00:55:27,729 The last thought killed by anticipation of the next. 897 00:55:27,801 --> 00:55:31,450 We embrace an overwhelming feeling of love. 898 00:55:31,517 --> 00:55:35,100 We flow in unison. We're together. 899 00:55:35,170 --> 00:55:37,311 I wish this was real. 900 00:55:37,381 --> 00:55:40,319 We want a universal level of togetherness... 901 00:55:40,393 --> 00:55:43,495 where we're comfortable with everyone. 902 00:55:43,565 --> 00:55:47,661 We're in rhythm. Part of a movement. 903 00:55:47,730 --> 00:55:52,275 A movement to escape. We wave good-bye. 904 00:55:52,343 --> 00:55:54,997 Ultimately, we just wanna be happy. 905 00:55:56,092 --> 00:55:58,200 Yeah. Yeah. 906 00:55:58,271 --> 00:56:01,144 [ Chuckles ] Hang on. 907 00:56:01,219 --> 00:56:04,256 What, what the fuck was I just talking about? 908 00:56:04,327 --> 00:56:06,184 [ Laughing ] 909 00:56:43,178 --> 00:56:46,477 [ Jip Narrating ] Koop is having severe trouble adjusting to the love boat, man. 910 00:56:46,778 --> 00:56:48,943 Everytime we go out, he's always gonna spoil it for himself. 911 00:56:48,980 --> 00:56:51,860 And it's painful to see what's his pussy ahead through. 912 00:56:52,300 --> 00:56:54,817 He gets jealous of men even looking at Nina. 913 00:56:55,043 --> 00:56:58,083 You know, he feels threatened by any bloke that speaks to her. 914 00:56:58,152 --> 00:57:02,281 Nina knows a lot of people. I mean, she's a really affectionate character. 915 00:57:02,823 --> 00:57:04,898 But she's fallen for Koop in a big way. 916 00:57:04,969 --> 00:57:08,487 He's so fucking lucky, man. I'd do anything to have what he's got. 917 00:57:08,558 --> 00:57:11,147 But he's stupid, you know? He's fucking it up with his male ego. 918 00:57:11,385 --> 00:57:13,974 He gets paranoid with everyone, man. 919 00:57:14,044 --> 00:57:16,600 Shit, he even gets it with his mates. 920 00:57:33,871 --> 00:57:36,077 [ Thinking ] You wanna fuck her, don't you? 921 00:57:38,005 --> 00:57:39,982 - No. - Don't fucking lie to me. 922 00:57:40,055 --> 00:57:43,671 You've been staring at her arse for the last ten minutes. 923 00:57:45,245 --> 00:57:47,965 Yeah, all right. Fair play, Koop. But fuck me, she's horny as fuck. 924 00:57:48,033 --> 00:57:50,687 I mean, I ain't gonna do nothing, am I? She's your bird, for fuck's sake. 925 00:57:50,757 --> 00:57:52,832 Yeah, that's right. She's my bird. My fucking bird. 926 00:57:52,903 --> 00:57:54,760 Do you understand that? So stop looking at her. 927 00:57:54,856 --> 00:57:59,301 Yeah, alright, Koop, mate. Yeah, alright. I'm just checking around, mate, like on the others, right? 928 00:57:59,397 --> 00:58:02,182 Yeah, but she's not all the fuckin' others. She's mine! 929 00:58:02,278 --> 00:58:04,288 - You can't stop me looking at her, Koop. - How dare you... 930 00:58:04,361 --> 00:58:06,600 imagine fancying Nina, you cunt, Moff!. 931 00:58:06,667 --> 00:58:09,004 Hold up a minute. Hold up. 932 00:58:09,071 --> 00:58:11,495 What are you, the fucking thought police or something? What this, what? 933 00:58:11,569 --> 00:58:13,459 Listen, Moff, you can look at any other girl in here. 934 00:58:13,524 --> 00:58:15,698 Pick 'em. There's plenty to choose from. Just not her! 935 00:58:15,766 --> 00:58:17,940 Yeah, Koop. I'm with you 100%, mate. 936 00:58:18,009 --> 00:58:20,915 But, I mean, how do I know the next bird ain't gonna have a bloke? 937 00:58:20,989 --> 00:58:22,846 No, no, fuck that, Moff. Fuck it! 938 00:58:22,912 --> 00:58:25,665 Because it wouldn't matter to you anyway. You'd still imagine fucking her, wouldn't you? 939 00:58:25,732 --> 00:58:28,004 Yeah. Do you know why you know the answer to that, Koop? 940 00:58:28,070 --> 00:58:29,927 Why do I know that, Moff?. Why do I know? 941 00:58:29,992 --> 00:58:32,232 Because you're just the same as the rest of us, mate. 942 00:58:48,704 --> 00:58:51,675 - So, babe, was it fucking proper or what? - I had a shit hot time. 943 00:58:51,748 --> 00:58:54,239 Listen, there's a party happening in Super Ely, all right? 944 00:58:54,312 --> 00:58:56,770 - Yeah, I know. I'm going with my mates. - What mates? 945 00:58:56,843 --> 00:58:59,694 - My mates. - Nice one, Lee. I'll see you in the wheels, all right, man? 946 00:58:59,758 --> 00:59:02,478 True, man. Nice, nice. 947 00:59:02,546 --> 00:59:05,102 - I'll see you in a bit, yeah? - Yeah. 948 00:59:05,173 --> 00:59:07,412 Who the fuck are those dodgy fuckers? 949 00:59:09,434 --> 00:59:11,292 Lee? 950 00:59:13,695 --> 00:59:17,147 - [ Coughing ] - [ Laughing ] 951 00:59:18,382 --> 00:59:20,842 Virgin toker, is it, Lee? 952 00:59:23,819 --> 00:59:27,820 No, you wanna stick with me, Lee. I'm like fucking Ziggy Marley or something, man. I'm telling you. 953 00:59:28,540 --> 00:59:30,221 No, I'm Ziggy Marlon. 954 00:59:30,980 --> 00:59:33,222 Ziggy Marlon's in tha motherfucking house! 955 00:59:33,421 --> 00:59:35,181 Sorted, man. 956 00:59:36,302 --> 00:59:38,143 Workin' the fucking Herb man. 957 00:59:38,662 --> 00:59:42,262 I smoked enough thai, weren't it be? Not with these pussies, man, I'm telling you. 958 00:59:42,263 --> 00:59:45,120 - Have you fuck! - I know I am. - Man, don't fucking trip! 959 00:59:45,264 --> 00:59:48,184 You're the one who's trippin', mate. You've got a fucking kiddies lung. 960 00:59:48,185 --> 00:59:52,506 See man, I was doin' buckets, see, when you was a twitch in your father's nutsack. 961 00:59:52,706 --> 00:59:55,627 - Not at all. - See, you idiot. - Not at all! - See, you idiot! 962 00:59:55,787 --> 00:59:57,948 - What you're on about? - What you're on about, man? 963 00:59:58,068 --> 00:59:59,828 - What you're on about? - Who the fuck's on about? 964 00:59:59,948 --> 01:00:02,668 - What you're on about? - Well, I know who's on about, and you're on about. 965 01:00:02,749 --> 01:00:05,750 - He's been smoking longer than you. - What the fuck you're on about? 966 01:00:05,830 --> 01:00:07,470 What you're on about? 967 01:00:09,630 --> 01:00:13,072 - Your mother! Your mother! - What you're on about? - You bumberclot! 968 01:00:14,569 --> 01:00:17,306 [ Music Playing: Degrees of Motion ‒ Shine On ] ...Shine on (shine on)... 969 01:00:17,354 --> 01:00:21,579 ...Let the light of love grow stronger, oooh... 970 01:00:22,251 --> 01:00:24,795 ...Shine on (shine on)... 971 01:00:24,843 --> 01:00:28,636 ...You're the sun in my heart, a flame in the dark... 972 01:00:28,684 --> 01:00:34,158 ...So let the light of love shine on. 973 01:00:34,517 --> 01:00:37,335 - [ Continues Indistinct ] - Fuckin' hell, mate. It's like a fucking video game, this. 974 01:00:37,401 --> 01:00:40,438 Fucking lights and shit everywhere. [ Laughs ] 975 01:00:42,367 --> 01:00:44,224 Whoo! 976 01:00:44,289 --> 01:00:47,872 Yeah, yeah, yeah! I know you gonna dig this! 977 01:00:47,942 --> 01:00:51,077 Oh, yeah, baby. Come on, come on. 978 01:00:51,146 --> 01:00:53,833 - Come on! - [ Indistinct Chattering, Shouting ] 979 01:00:55,920 --> 01:00:58,738 Now, I'm gonna take you on a guided tour of the club casualties. 980 01:00:58,803 --> 01:01:02,452 - So come on! - Right! Let's do it! 981 01:01:02,521 --> 01:01:04,979 We're all getting laid tonight! 982 01:01:05,052 --> 01:01:07,160 Oh! Oh! 983 01:01:09,729 --> 01:01:11,586 Fuckin' hell. It's Dynasty! 984 01:01:11,652 --> 01:01:13,509 [ Dance Music ] 985 01:01:14,648 --> 01:01:18,928 - Fuck me man, Roni Size's got the fucking balls! - That's exact what I was gonna say, man. 986 01:01:21,969 --> 01:01:24,409 - Are you fuckin' takin' a piss, man? - What? 987 01:01:25,130 --> 01:01:28,331 - Are you fuckin' takin' a piss out of me? - What the fuck's this commin' from, man? 988 01:01:29,531 --> 01:01:34,292 Sometimes, man, I look in your eyes, and all I see is fucking resentment. 989 01:01:36,973 --> 01:01:40,734 That's pa-ra-no-ia! M-mmm... 990 01:01:43,535 --> 01:01:46,696 - So who do you know, bruv? - Every motherfucker. 991 01:01:46,775 --> 01:01:50,616 St. Mellons Crew, Lanederyn Posse, Talbots Crew, Docks posse. 992 01:01:50,696 --> 01:01:53,777 - Oh bruv, I have a cousin on the Docks, man. - On the Docks? - Yeah. 993 01:01:53,777 --> 01:01:58,579 Cool gang and crew, they're smokin' ganja on the beach, man. That's the fucking motherland, you know what I'm sayin'? 994 01:02:19,904 --> 01:02:22,460 - All right, babe? - What the fuck you doing to me? 995 01:02:22,531 --> 01:02:25,153 - What are you talking about? - Talking to that bloke in the club. 996 01:02:25,223 --> 01:02:27,943 - You kept on touching his chest. - Did I? Who? 997 01:02:28,010 --> 01:02:30,380 You fucking know who. 998 01:02:30,445 --> 01:02:32,390 Right in front of me as well. 999 01:02:32,464 --> 01:02:35,217 You know, it scares me to imagine what you're like when I'm not around. 1000 01:02:35,283 --> 01:02:38,069 Yeah, this all sounds a bit familiar really, doesn't it, lovely? 1001 01:02:38,135 --> 01:02:40,888 Yeah, well, how about a little bit of consideration, eh? 1002 01:02:40,954 --> 01:02:44,090 I don't want you talking like that with other boys. It affects me. 1003 01:02:44,159 --> 01:02:47,359 Look, Koop, I really can't be pissed with this one again tonight. 1004 01:02:47,426 --> 01:02:51,009 I haven't done anything wrong. You're just being paranoid. 1005 01:02:51,079 --> 01:02:52,936 Sort it out, for fuck's sake. 1006 01:02:53,002 --> 01:02:54,946 Would you like it-- Would you like it if I was flirting with a girl... 1007 01:02:55,020 --> 01:02:56,877 while I kept on touching her chest, would you? 1008 01:02:56,942 --> 01:03:00,394 - Only if she had better tits than me. - No, fuck off, Nin. 1009 01:03:00,467 --> 01:03:02,378 Don't give me that shit. 1010 01:03:02,453 --> 01:03:04,627 You always-- You always-- 1011 01:03:04,696 --> 01:03:07,001 You're always touching people, aren't you? 1012 01:03:07,067 --> 01:03:11,645 But that doesn't mean to say I'm flirting with anyone, for fuck's sake! 1013 01:03:11,713 --> 01:03:14,684 I don't know how much more reassurance I can give you. 1014 01:03:14,757 --> 01:03:16,865 What do I have to do? 1015 01:03:18,153 --> 01:03:20,644 Don't you trust me? 1016 01:03:20,716 --> 01:03:23,589 Answer me! Don't you trust me, Koop? 1017 01:03:24,946 --> 01:03:27,884 [ Scoffs ] 1018 01:03:28,053 --> 01:03:31,221 Yeah, man, Star Wars is definitely about drug culture, man. 1019 01:03:31,289 --> 01:03:33,496 There's no fucking question. It has to be, man. 1020 01:03:33,564 --> 01:03:35,421 You're telling me, And. You're telling me. 1021 01:03:35,487 --> 01:03:37,562 I mean, what was Jabba smoking in that big glass pipe? 1022 01:03:37,634 --> 01:03:39,741 Come on! What are we, thick? You know what I mean? 1023 01:03:39,813 --> 01:03:41,855 - It was fucking opium. - Of course it was opium! You know it was! 1024 01:03:41,927 --> 01:03:44,166 You see his tongue, man? And that fucking tail! 1025 01:03:44,234 --> 01:03:46,309 Listen, listen, Han Solo, yeah? 1026 01:03:46,381 --> 01:03:48,805 He's got a smuggling compartment in the Millennium Falcon, isn't he? 1027 01:03:48,879 --> 01:03:50,922 He's only an intergalactic smack dealer, isn't he? 1028 01:03:50,995 --> 01:03:52,852 Fucking gets up there! 1029 01:03:52,917 --> 01:03:55,735 Listen, Yoda, man, as well. He's been coming down for about 500 years. 1030 01:03:55,801 --> 01:03:57,658 - Of course he is, yeah, yeah, yeah. - He's fucked, the poor bastard. 1031 01:03:57,723 --> 01:04:00,661 He's used to be, you know, really tall and handsome, but you know, you know-- 1032 01:04:00,734 --> 01:04:02,591 - What, like Chewbacca? - Yeah. 1033 01:04:02,657 --> 01:04:04,547 - [ Trilling ] - [ Howling ] Can't do it. You know what I mean. 1034 01:04:04,611 --> 01:04:07,298 - Now he's fucking-- Now he's like two foot high... - Yeah. 1035 01:04:07,367 --> 01:04:10,087 - and, and fucking pointed tabs, white hair and hooves. - Hooves. 1036 01:04:10,154 --> 01:04:12,776 That's what I was gonna say. The fucking hooves, man. What a comedown. 1037 01:04:12,846 --> 01:04:15,118 What about the emperor? The fucking emperor. 1038 01:04:15,184 --> 01:04:17,456 The king crackhead of the galaxy, yeah? 1039 01:04:17,523 --> 01:04:19,500 He's got so much fucking hard cash... 1040 01:04:19,574 --> 01:04:22,196 from selling crack to space junkies, yeah? 1041 01:04:22,266 --> 01:04:25,270 He's only gone and built his own planet, you know what I mean? 1042 01:04:25,342 --> 01:04:27,231 - On drug money. - The fucking Death Star. 1043 01:04:27,296 --> 01:04:30,081 - The Death Star! - And he's sat in there going like, 1044 01:04:30,148 --> 01:04:32,005 "Come on, more power! More power!" 1045 01:04:32,070 --> 01:04:34,112 - It's like, you know, and Yoda's like-- - Yeah, yeah. 1046 01:04:34,185 --> 01:04:36,042 And he's in chilled-out land. 1047 01:04:36,107 --> 01:04:39,013 - Yeah, be suited and all that. - Be creative, yeah. 1048 01:04:42,675 --> 01:04:44,914 What was I talking about? 1049 01:04:44,982 --> 01:04:47,440 - Huh? - What was I talking about? 1050 01:04:47,513 --> 01:04:49,457 - What, just now? - Yeah. 1051 01:04:52,671 --> 01:04:54,943 - Your dad. - Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. 1052 01:04:55,010 --> 01:04:57,020 Yeah, well, tell you what, mate. 1053 01:04:57,093 --> 01:04:59,005 Thing about my old boy is, is that I love him and that. 1054 01:04:59,080 --> 01:05:02,117 He's always been there for me and... 1055 01:05:02,187 --> 01:05:06,284 always spoke to me on my level and that when I was a kid, yeah, 1056 01:05:06,353 --> 01:05:09,521 but I'll tell you what. 1057 01:05:09,589 --> 01:05:12,560 - I'm really worried about him. - You're worried about him? 1058 01:05:12,633 --> 01:05:14,774 - Yeah. - Why, man? 1059 01:05:14,843 --> 01:05:17,213 Why? 1060 01:05:17,278 --> 01:05:19,190 He thinks I'm two identical twins... 1061 01:05:19,265 --> 01:05:21,635 pretending to be the same person. 1062 01:05:21,700 --> 01:05:23,645 Keeps calling me Leon. 1063 01:05:24,872 --> 01:05:27,843 [ Sighs ] Fucking hell. 1064 01:05:27,916 --> 01:05:31,303 Yeah, mate. And I'll tell you what. 1065 01:05:31,376 --> 01:05:34,413 He's getting worse in there as well. 1066 01:05:34,484 --> 01:05:38,100 Those drugs they're giving him, they're fucking his head up, mate. 1067 01:05:40,220 --> 01:05:42,131 Fuck. 1068 01:05:44,128 --> 01:05:47,962 - So, what, he thinks you're two people? - Yeah. 1069 01:05:48,037 --> 01:05:50,079 - Fuck. - Yeah. 1070 01:05:50,151 --> 01:05:52,521 Fair play, man. That's pretty west, isn't it? 1071 01:05:54,349 --> 01:05:58,063 Yeah, but you know, sanity, man, how do you define that? 1072 01:05:58,130 --> 01:06:00,784 You know, how do you define sanity, you know? 1073 01:06:00,853 --> 01:06:02,995 You know, who's to to say that, you know, the people that, 1074 01:06:03,064 --> 01:06:04,954 you know, supposed to be mad, you know, 1075 01:06:05,018 --> 01:06:07,771 who's to say that they're, you know, just not tapped into... 1076 01:06:07,838 --> 01:06:10,077 - a higher sensory perception or something, you know? - Hmm. Mmm. 1077 01:06:10,145 --> 01:06:13,465 Into, you know, a different kind of universe, they're way ahead, you know? 1078 01:06:13,541 --> 01:06:16,840 - You know? And we just haven't caught up yet. - Ah. 1079 01:06:16,905 --> 01:06:18,817 Listen to this. 1080 01:06:18,892 --> 01:06:22,693 The emperor wants to control outer space. 1081 01:06:22,769 --> 01:06:27,510 Yoda wants to explore inner space. 1082 01:06:27,575 --> 01:06:31,355 That's the fundamental difference between the good and the bad sides... 1083 01:06:31,420 --> 01:06:33,364 of the Force. 1084 01:06:38,564 --> 01:06:42,847 - Shit. Shit. - You know what I mean? Fuck! 1085 01:06:42,922 --> 01:06:46,439 - Fuck's sake, man! - I just don't know where it comes from sometimes. And, 1086 01:06:46,510 --> 01:06:48,651 do you know what I mean? It frightens me. 1087 01:06:48,722 --> 01:06:51,660 [ Rapping ] There's not a problem that I can't fix 'cause I can do it in the mix 1088 01:06:51,733 --> 01:06:54,125 And if your man gives you trouble, just you move out on the double 1089 01:06:54,200 --> 01:06:56,090 And you don't let it trouble your brain 1090 01:06:56,155 --> 01:07:00,219 'Cause away goes trouble down the drain 1091 01:07:00,288 --> 01:07:03,707 Said away goes trouble down the drain 1092 01:07:03,780 --> 01:07:08,838 I want E.T.'s to abduct me from planet Cardiff. 1093 01:07:08,907 --> 01:07:12,905 - Come on, you fuckers! Let's go! - [ Laughing ] 1094 01:07:17,813 --> 01:07:20,052 You can't blame them for not coming though. 1095 01:07:20,121 --> 01:07:24,282 I mean, they've only gotta fucking check out the 10:00 News... 1096 01:07:24,350 --> 01:07:29,539 and check out all the murders and diseases and wars. 1097 01:07:29,604 --> 01:07:31,679 ?Jada Doherty? 1098 01:07:31,751 --> 01:07:33,608 [ Both Laughing ] 1099 01:07:38,607 --> 01:07:40,814 Ohh. 1100 01:07:40,882 --> 01:07:45,263 Take me to a world where the drugs are free, 1101 01:07:45,336 --> 01:07:47,892 the clubs have no gravity, 1102 01:07:47,964 --> 01:07:51,263 and every shag guarantees an orgasm! 1103 01:07:51,328 --> 01:07:53,949 Yes! Two orgasms! 1104 01:07:54,019 --> 01:07:55,876 - Yes! - Yeah! 1105 01:07:55,942 --> 01:07:58,498 He's a genius, um, Socrates. 1106 01:07:58,569 --> 01:08:01,092 - Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. - Yeah, yeah? And he's given it all that. 1107 01:08:01,164 --> 01:08:03,054 And they're going, "What? What, Socrates? 1108 01:08:03,118 --> 01:08:05,008 Man, you're off your tit! What are you talking about?" 1109 01:08:05,073 --> 01:08:07,497 You know, they fucking thought he was mad, you know. 1110 01:08:07,572 --> 01:08:11,374 And this guy, you know, he-- he sped up evolution of mankind, you know? 1111 01:08:11,449 --> 01:08:13,688 He fuckin', you know-- He was a genius, this guy. 1112 01:08:13,756 --> 01:08:15,613 They thought he was crazy. You know what I mean? 1113 01:08:15,678 --> 01:08:17,568 I mean, they lock these people up, right? 1114 01:08:17,633 --> 01:08:19,490 But you know, they should let 'em out, man. 1115 01:08:19,555 --> 01:08:21,729 They should fuckin' put these people in Parliament and that. 1116 01:08:21,798 --> 01:08:24,005 You know what I mean? Fucking put them in Parliament. 1117 01:08:24,073 --> 01:08:25,930 You know, they're talking sense, these people. 1118 01:08:25,995 --> 01:08:29,742 Put your dad on that fucking chair in Parliament and listen to that man! 1119 01:08:29,808 --> 01:08:31,785 - You know? Deal with that! - Yeah, man! 1120 01:08:31,859 --> 01:08:33,716 - You know what I mean? - Yeah! 1121 01:08:33,781 --> 01:08:36,053 - Fuckin' mad. Bollocks. - I mean, you know, 1122 01:08:36,120 --> 01:08:38,676 we're not in hospital and that, but we're not normal, are we? 1123 01:08:41,086 --> 01:08:43,325 Look. Are we fuck. 1124 01:08:43,393 --> 01:08:47,042 [ Laughing ] 1125 01:08:47,109 --> 01:08:49,665 Oh, my God, look at your eyes. Look at yours. 1126 01:08:49,736 --> 01:08:52,707 You're fucked. You're sl-- Look at that! 1127 01:08:52,780 --> 01:08:54,638 - Oh, my God! - I'm fucked. 1128 01:08:54,703 --> 01:08:56,560 - Oh, my God! Oh, my, no! - You're fucked! 1129 01:08:56,625 --> 01:08:58,482 - You're fucked! - You're so fucked! 1130 01:08:58,548 --> 01:09:00,918 - No, no. Oh, you're-- - And look at me. 1131 01:09:00,983 --> 01:09:03,539 No, I'm all right. I'm all right. 1132 01:09:03,610 --> 01:09:05,718 - I'm looking fine. I feel fine. - Yeah. 1133 01:09:05,789 --> 01:09:07,646 - Little bit tired I'm all right. - Yeah, well-- 1134 01:09:07,711 --> 01:09:09,568 - Morning. Morning! - Morning. 1135 01:09:09,634 --> 01:09:11,491 - Morning. Nurse. - [ Whistling ] 1136 01:09:11,556 --> 01:09:13,468 - Nurse! - I need a piss pot. 1137 01:09:13,543 --> 01:09:16,001 - I need a piss pot and a pan. - And a-- And a brush. 1138 01:09:16,074 --> 01:09:18,663 - And a brush and a doctor. - And some Haagen-Dazs. 1139 01:09:18,733 --> 01:09:21,103 - And some-- [ Laughs ] - And a-- And a ho! 1140 01:09:21,168 --> 01:09:23,080 - Fuck it! Bring me a ho! - Bring me all that shit! 1141 01:09:23,155 --> 01:09:28,017 - We gonna eat tonight! - I need a normal doctor 'cause I'm fucked! 1142 01:09:33,824 --> 01:09:36,194 - I'm fucked. - [ Laughs ] 1143 01:09:36,655 --> 01:09:38,816 Are you my best mate? 1144 01:09:38,896 --> 01:09:42,457 Yes. I am your best mate. 1145 01:09:43,657 --> 01:09:47,858 If I told you a secret, you won't tell anybody else? 1146 01:09:48,619 --> 01:09:50,779 No. Definitely not. 1147 01:09:58,461 --> 01:10:00,461 I can voluntarily... 1148 01:10:01,261 --> 01:10:03,743 perform a funny fart at any time. 1149 01:10:10,864 --> 01:10:13,024 God, that's disgusting. 1150 01:10:13,705 --> 01:10:16,185 - Do I want to show you? - No. 1151 01:10:16,786 --> 01:10:17,986 But, ... 1152 01:10:18,106 --> 01:10:20,747 I think that makes me love you more. 1153 01:10:21,199 --> 01:10:23,209 [ Door Opens ] 1154 01:10:25,988 --> 01:10:30,336 Now we've reached the hour of spliff politics. 1155 01:10:30,410 --> 01:10:34,823 It's the time of the night when everyone knows who's got a spliff... 1156 01:10:34,895 --> 01:10:36,872 and in which direction it's going. 1157 01:10:36,946 --> 01:10:38,803 See Casey in the hood? 1158 01:10:38,868 --> 01:10:43,730 He doesn't know Herbie, the kid skinning up next to him. 1159 01:10:46,206 --> 01:10:50,105 But to get a toke, he's got to start up some bullshit conversation, 1160 01:10:50,178 --> 01:10:52,898 and keep it going until he gets passed the spliff. 1161 01:10:52,966 --> 01:10:56,036 Smells like soap bar to me. Can't fault a bit of solid. 1162 01:10:56,106 --> 01:10:58,181 Now look at Herbie's face. 1163 01:10:58,253 --> 01:11:02,448 He knows what's up. He's just hoping Casey will run out of steam... 1164 01:11:02,513 --> 01:11:07,341 so that he can pass the spliff to his mate Felix. 1165 01:11:07,416 --> 01:11:09,754 But Casey's determined to keep on going. 1166 01:11:09,819 --> 01:11:13,566 - I grows my own shit too. - [ Marks ] He's got to be clever to get in there. 1167 01:11:13,632 --> 01:11:15,577 Just a few more laps to go. 1168 01:11:15,650 --> 01:11:18,621 Casey is doing well. He's using all his best anecdotes, 1169 01:11:18,694 --> 01:11:22,311 and Herbie now seems quite engaged in the conversation. 1170 01:11:22,379 --> 01:11:24,804 - Felix is trying to get acknowledged. - Yeah, man. 1171 01:11:24,877 --> 01:11:26,789 Fuckin' homegrown. 1172 01:11:30,421 --> 01:11:32,463 Yeah, man, that homegrown shit's good, man. 1173 01:11:32,535 --> 01:11:36,184 - But it's not working. - Ah, I just remembered, man. 1174 01:11:36,566 --> 01:11:41,078 Millsy's coming down next week with some Thai. Go out and hoof it, man. 1175 01:11:40,567 --> 01:11:43,287 Wow, look at Casey's face. 1176 01:11:44,288 --> 01:11:47,128 Now, it looks like it's all been a waste of time and energy. 1177 01:11:47,248 --> 01:11:49,673 - Millsy? Millsy from Roath? - Yeah. 1178 01:11:49,748 --> 01:11:52,686 - But he counters. - Oh, I knows Millsy from down Silhouettes. 1179 01:11:52,760 --> 01:11:55,097 It's neck and neck here at the last lap. 1180 01:11:55,163 --> 01:11:57,654 - Hello, my little space kitten. - Fuckin' hell! 1181 01:11:57,726 --> 01:12:00,184 - Give us a toke on that. - Boomshanka! 1182 01:12:02,212 --> 01:12:05,631 An interception! 1183 01:12:05,704 --> 01:12:07,649 But that's always the chance you take. 1184 01:12:07,723 --> 01:12:09,830 [ Door Closes ] 1185 01:12:09,997 --> 01:12:13,646 [ Lulu ] Round and round the garden like a teddy bear. 1186 01:12:13,714 --> 01:12:16,565 [ Jip Chuckles ] Who's your teddy bear? 1187 01:12:18,232 --> 01:12:21,399 - One step, two steps-- - Don't tickle me, don't tickle me. 1188 01:12:21,468 --> 01:12:23,379 - Seriously. - I'm not going to. 1189 01:12:23,454 --> 01:12:25,464 I'm not gonna tickle you. I promise. 1190 01:12:25,537 --> 01:12:27,394 - Come here. - Where's your hand going? 1191 01:12:27,460 --> 01:12:29,852 I'm not gonna tickle you. I promise. 1192 01:12:32,009 --> 01:12:35,275 [ Thinking ] Please kiss me. Come on. 1193 01:12:35,341 --> 01:12:38,924 [ Thinking ] I don't know whether I'm reading this wrongly because I'm off my tits, 1194 01:12:38,994 --> 01:12:41,168 but does she want me to kiss her? 1195 01:12:41,236 --> 01:12:43,093 I'm gonna have to make the first move. 1196 01:12:43,159 --> 01:12:45,583 He's probably more nervous than I am. 1197 01:12:45,658 --> 01:12:48,924 I want to, but I'm scared. 1198 01:12:48,990 --> 01:12:52,606 If I've got this wrong, it will be so humiliating. 1199 01:13:17,474 --> 01:13:19,681 You know, it's like Vader, man, you know. 1200 01:13:19,749 --> 01:13:22,687 Bongin' really hard with a chest like that. 1201 01:13:26,221 --> 01:13:29,771 And, um, R2D2 when-- when he's-- 1202 01:13:29,842 --> 01:13:32,748 Remember that when, uh-- 1203 01:13:32,822 --> 01:13:35,345 You know-- Fuck it. 1204 01:13:44,227 --> 01:13:47,100 - You're a waste of time. - [ Dialogue Rewinds ] 1205 01:13:47,175 --> 01:13:50,408 Jip, just relax, man. Chill. It's no big deal. 1206 01:13:52,846 --> 01:13:56,626 I don't understand why you can't have sex with me. 1207 01:13:56,691 --> 01:13:58,799 - Sex with me. - [ Karen ] What's wrong? 1208 01:13:58,870 --> 01:14:03,251 Are you okay? I've never had that happen to me before. 1209 01:14:11,846 --> 01:14:13,790 There's no rush. 1210 01:14:15,242 --> 01:14:18,312 Don't be nervous. You're with me, remember? 1211 01:14:20,497 --> 01:14:23,118 Yeah. Okay. I'm sorry. 1212 01:14:23,188 --> 01:14:25,330 And don't apologize. 1213 01:14:27,354 --> 01:14:29,910 Come here. Come here. 1214 01:14:36,261 --> 01:14:38,206 [ Jip Exhales ] 1215 01:14:41,387 --> 01:14:44,707 [ Jip Narrating ] Well, what goes up must come down. 1216 01:14:44,783 --> 01:14:47,602 And down... and down. 1217 01:14:47,667 --> 01:14:50,091 Everyone looks ill at the end of the night. 1218 01:14:50,166 --> 01:14:52,023 We've all lost the power of speech, 1219 01:14:52,089 --> 01:14:54,547 desperately avoiding eye contact. 1220 01:14:54,620 --> 01:14:57,690 Your new soul mate that you've been talking codshit to for the past five hours... 1221 01:14:57,760 --> 01:15:01,277 about the story of creation or the fourth Star Wars film... 1222 01:15:01,348 --> 01:15:03,206 is now a complete stranger. 1223 01:15:03,271 --> 01:15:05,128 You can't even look him in the eye. 1224 01:15:05,193 --> 01:15:07,815 The only thing you've got in common now is paranoia. 1225 01:15:07,885 --> 01:15:09,927 It's coming through the walls, man. 1226 01:15:09,999 --> 01:15:12,621 The children of ecstasy aren't safe anymore. 1227 01:15:12,691 --> 01:15:14,701 We're no longer all together as one, 1228 01:15:14,773 --> 01:15:19,568 but separate mental patients that yearn to be ejected out of this poisoned atmosphere... 1229 01:15:19,643 --> 01:15:22,549 to a warm bed and friendly therapists. 1230 01:15:22,623 --> 01:15:25,856 Reality's on her way. Where am I? 1231 01:15:25,923 --> 01:15:27,998 What have I done? 1232 01:15:28,070 --> 01:15:29,927 Was it worth it? 1233 01:15:29,993 --> 01:15:33,609 And by the way, what the fuck happened here? 1234 01:15:33,677 --> 01:15:37,391 All you have to look forward to now is unconsciousness, 1235 01:15:37,457 --> 01:15:39,948 but you can never sleep. 1236 01:15:41,685 --> 01:15:45,526 [ Chill-out Music Playing ] 1237 01:17:08,011 --> 01:17:09,411 Whore. 1238 01:17:09,531 --> 01:17:11,172 Where? 1239 01:17:14,653 --> 01:17:15,373 Horny? 1240 01:17:15,572 --> 01:17:20,933 Do you realize, that you're fuckin' karí stained trousers in this relationshit. 1241 01:17:20,933 --> 01:17:23,014 - Kari, is it? - Kari Curry, isn't it? 1242 01:17:23,175 --> 01:17:24,414 - Kari, is it. - Kari Curry. 1243 01:17:24,774 --> 01:17:27,256 - Relationshit. - Kari, is it? 1244 01:17:28,696 --> 01:17:30,977 - Relationshit! - Relationshit! 1245 01:17:32,177 --> 01:17:34,097 Beep, beep, ... 1246 01:17:35,658 --> 01:17:39,138 - You fancy a piece of a dad, is it? - I'm sensitive woman! 1247 01:17:39,139 --> 01:17:41,419 Minxing, slut, huh! 1248 01:17:41,819 --> 01:17:44,820 - One, two, put down that ninja star. - Is it, is it? 1249 01:17:47,541 --> 01:17:51,701 Give me back my ninja star, because I'm beating you with the fuckin' nunchakas! 1250 01:17:51,702 --> 01:17:54,462 [ Male Voice ] Moff? I hardly recognized you. 1251 01:17:54,582 --> 01:17:56,657 Who says? 1252 01:17:58,704 --> 01:18:01,008 Reality? 1253 01:18:00,464 --> 01:18:04,528 Reality is that--is it you? Don't-- Don't fuckin' wind me up. 1254 01:18:03,904 --> 01:18:08,285 Moff, it's me. Honestly. Where the fuck have you been? 1255 01:18:08,106 --> 01:18:10,426 Reality, it's all-- It's all gone pear-shaped, mate. 1256 01:18:13,187 --> 01:18:15,197 I don't trust anybody in this room right now. 1257 01:18:15,270 --> 01:18:17,444 And they're my good fuckin' friends. I mean, Reality-- 1258 01:18:17,228 --> 01:18:21,029 What the fuck is going on? Wh-What's happening to me, for fuck's sake? 1259 01:18:20,709 --> 01:18:23,013 Moff, you've hammered it too much for too long. 1260 01:18:23,830 --> 01:18:26,576 Knock the drugs on the head. Clear out. 1261 01:18:26,649 --> 01:18:27,991 We can work together. 1262 01:18:52,437 --> 01:18:54,807 [ Karen's Voice ] You're a waste of time. 1263 01:18:53,918 --> 01:18:56,222 [ Jip Thinking ] Go away. 1264 01:18:56,289 --> 01:18:59,642 Come on, stay with her. Stay with her. 1265 01:18:59,717 --> 01:19:02,208 [ Woman ] I don't understand why you can't have sex with me. 1266 01:19:02,280 --> 01:19:04,137 Shut up! 1267 01:19:06,285 --> 01:19:08,175 Come on, come on, Jip. Don't be afraid. 1268 01:19:08,240 --> 01:19:11,024 [ Karen's Voice ] I've never had that happen to me before. 1269 01:19:11,091 --> 01:19:13,198 [ Thinking ] Go on. Go with her. Go with her. Move her. 1270 01:19:13,269 --> 01:19:15,409 Move with her. 1271 01:19:15,479 --> 01:19:17,553 [ Lulu Thinking ] Go with him. 1272 01:19:23,105 --> 01:19:25,530 [ Thinking ] Oh, look at her. She's beautiful. 1273 01:19:25,604 --> 01:19:28,772 - Hello, you. - She's enjoying it. 1274 01:19:28,840 --> 01:19:30,752 Let it go. 1275 01:19:30,828 --> 01:19:33,165 Come on, feel what she's feeling. 1276 01:19:33,229 --> 01:19:35,338 - Come on, let it go. - You want to be with her. Go with it. 1277 01:19:35,406 --> 01:19:37,648 Let it go. 1278 01:19:37,717 --> 01:19:40,654 Let it go this time, Lu. 1279 01:19:46,943 --> 01:19:52,547 [ Techno Music ] 1280 01:20:06,296 --> 01:20:09,333 [ Indistinct Reggae Rap ] 1281 01:20:22,154 --> 01:20:24,525 Ready 1282 01:20:24,590 --> 01:20:26,763 Steady, go 1283 01:20:26,833 --> 01:20:29,455 - Pow, pow, pow, pow pow, pow - [ Beeping ] 1284 01:20:29,524 --> 01:20:32,563 [ Gasps ] 1285 01:20:32,632 --> 01:20:34,904 No! No! No! 1286 01:20:36,317 --> 01:20:39,069 Fuck! No fuckin' way! 1287 01:20:39,138 --> 01:20:42,174 - [ Giggles ] - Oh, for fuck's sake! 1288 01:20:42,244 --> 01:20:45,598 No, no! You're fucking dreaming. It's a fu-- 1289 01:20:49,422 --> 01:20:51,279 Hey, bitch! 1290 01:20:52,787 --> 01:20:57,199 - Wake up, bitch. - [ Yawns ] 1291 01:20:57,272 --> 01:21:01,587 - Come on. - Oh, here he is. Kickin' chicken. 1292 01:21:01,661 --> 01:21:04,349 - So what's the news, baby pop? - [ Laughs ] 1293 01:21:04,417 --> 01:21:08,611 Uh, life's amazing. [ Screaming ] 1294 01:21:08,679 --> 01:21:12,578 [ Screams ] [ Koop Rapping ] "Congratulations... 1295 01:21:12,651 --> 01:21:16,715 ...and celebrations Cool it, tune it cool it, baby... 1296 01:21:16,785 --> 01:21:19,821 ...cool it, babe." - [ Laughs ] 1297 01:21:19,892 --> 01:21:22,481 Hey, welcome back to the world of sex, mate. 1298 01:21:22,551 --> 01:21:25,239 Yes! Yes! Yes! Yes! 1299 01:21:25,307 --> 01:21:29,590 Once more, I am a "fucktioning" human being! One more time! 1300 01:21:29,664 --> 01:21:33,083 Look at him, ladies. Live, ladies and gentlemen, he's a star! 1301 01:21:33,156 --> 01:21:35,013 [ Humming ] Eh, eh, eh. 1302 01:21:35,080 --> 01:21:38,215 What the fuck was I worried about, man? 1303 01:21:38,284 --> 01:21:41,070 I told you, man, didn't I? Overthinking of the stupid little things, mate. 1304 01:21:41,134 --> 01:21:45,996 Mate, mate. Oh! [ Laughs ] 1305 01:21:46,069 --> 01:21:49,422 That's the story of my life, man. It's the story of my life. 1306 01:21:49,498 --> 01:21:53,014 - Oi, oi, oi. - [ Humming ] 1307 01:21:53,086 --> 01:21:56,024 -She, uh-- - What? 1308 01:21:56,098 --> 01:21:58,205 Did she, uh-- 1309 01:21:58,276 --> 01:22:00,865 - What? - You know. 1310 01:22:00,935 --> 01:22:02,912 [ Laughs ] What? 1311 01:22:02,985 --> 01:22:06,153 - What we were talking about the other day, mate? - I'm not answering that one. 1312 01:22:06,221 --> 01:22:09,771 - Go on. - No, no. That's disgusting. No, I'm not telling you that. 1313 01:22:09,843 --> 01:22:13,777 - What? - No. It's a personal thing between two human beings. 1314 01:22:13,848 --> 01:22:16,569 - Fuck off!. - No, forget it. I'm not answering that question. 1315 01:22:16,636 --> 01:22:19,771 Shut up! I'm your mate. 1316 01:22:19,840 --> 01:22:23,390 - Yeah. - [ Laughing ] 1317 01:22:23,461 --> 01:22:26,048 Big time! 1318 01:22:27,111 --> 01:22:30,979 [ Laughs ] Go on with your bad self!. 1319 01:22:31,054 --> 01:22:32,714 - Bitch! - Bitch! 1320 01:22:32,783 --> 01:22:34,672 You dirty bitch! [ Laughs ] 1321 01:22:34,738 --> 01:22:37,590 No, I'm telling you, it has never happened to me like that before. 1322 01:22:37,654 --> 01:22:41,620 I mean, I've had that, you know, sort of release of pleasure, but nothing like this. 1323 01:22:41,690 --> 01:22:45,175 I mean, it just came out of nowhere. I didn't have to concentrate or anything. 1324 01:22:45,248 --> 01:22:49,694 And when it did, fuck me! It was just like-- Ah! 1325 01:22:49,766 --> 01:22:52,420 Ah! Ah! 1326 01:22:52,488 --> 01:22:55,940 - [ Laughing ] - Oh, it's the most amazing feeling. 1327 01:22:56,012 --> 01:22:57,869 Did your eyes go all blurry? 1328 01:22:57,935 --> 01:23:00,840 Blurry? I went fuckin' blind for about 10 minutes! 1329 01:23:00,915 --> 01:23:04,628 And then he started running his finger all over my skin, 1330 01:23:04,696 --> 01:23:07,351 and it went all tingly, and I was shaking all over. 1331 01:23:07,420 --> 01:23:11,002 - Oh, it was fucking lush! - So-- 1332 01:23:11,071 --> 01:23:15,834 [ Pretending Opera ] "How big was his dick?" 1333 01:23:15,910 --> 01:23:17,767 Shut up. I can't tell you that. 1334 01:23:17,832 --> 01:23:21,547 - This big. - [ Laughing ] 1335 01:23:21,613 --> 01:23:24,104 But it fits like bric-a-brac. 1336 01:23:24,176 --> 01:23:27,310 It comes out from the root and then goes off to the side with a little twist. 1337 01:23:27,379 --> 01:23:29,904 - Diversive. - It certainly hit the spot. 1338 01:23:29,976 --> 01:23:32,346 [ Laughing ] 1339 01:23:41,157 --> 01:23:43,681 Another kid dead from taking ecstasy this week. 1340 01:23:45,290 --> 01:23:48,644 Don't know what possesses them to take it in the first place. 1341 01:23:48,718 --> 01:23:51,591 Some children just don't have the correct upbringing. 1342 01:23:51,667 --> 01:23:55,414 The parents must neglect them, and they turn to drugs as an escape. 1343 01:23:55,479 --> 01:23:58,866 No discipline. No morality. 1344 01:24:00,382 --> 01:24:02,873 No respect. 1345 01:24:02,945 --> 01:24:04,802 I just don't understand the youth of today. 1346 01:24:06,950 --> 01:24:08,806 - [ Beeps ] - [ Dialogue Rewinds ] 1347 01:24:08,872 --> 01:24:11,014 I just don't understand the youth of today. 1348 01:24:11,083 --> 01:24:14,568 - [ Beeps, Rewinds ] - I just don't understand the youth of today. 1349 01:24:14,640 --> 01:24:17,457 [ Laughing ] 1350 01:24:17,522 --> 01:24:21,422 Oh, spot on, mate. Spot on. 1351 01:24:21,495 --> 01:24:26,652 - [ Beeps, Rewinds ] - No discipline, no morality, no respect. 1352 01:24:26,718 --> 01:24:28,958 - Some children just don't have the correct upbringing. - [ Beeps, Rewinds ] 1353 01:24:29,026 --> 01:24:31,877 Some children just don't have the correct upbringing. 1354 01:24:31,941 --> 01:24:34,596 - Another kid dead. - Parents must neglect them. - [ Beeps ] 1355 01:24:34,665 --> 01:24:36,838 - I just don't understand the youth of-- - No morality. 1356 01:24:36,907 --> 01:24:39,628 - Drugs as an escape. - No discipline. - Die! 1357 01:24:39,695 --> 01:24:42,666 Yeah! We're just some happy fucking sitcom, ain't we? 1358 01:24:42,739 --> 01:24:46,606 Perfect life, perfect family, perfect fucking dining table. 1359 01:24:46,680 --> 01:24:48,536 Well, give yourself a round of applause. 1360 01:24:48,602 --> 01:24:52,086 Please! I swear, sometimes we're living on different planets... 1361 01:24:52,158 --> 01:24:56,058 because there is no fucking way of communicating with you all. 1362 01:24:56,132 --> 01:24:58,370 Who the fuck are you people anyway, eh? 1363 01:24:58,438 --> 01:25:00,612 Who the fuck are ya? 1364 01:25:07,474 --> 01:25:11,702 So, how was your weekend, Louise? 1365 01:25:11,767 --> 01:25:16,213 - I had a really excellent time, thanks, Auntie Violet. - What did you do? 1366 01:25:16,285 --> 01:25:19,387 Um, we all went to a club on Friday night, 1367 01:25:19,457 --> 01:25:23,324 and then we went to Connie's parents' house for a big party. 1368 01:25:23,397 --> 01:25:28,390 - How did you get there? - Jip drove us. 1369 01:25:28,460 --> 01:25:32,459 - He hadn't been drinking? - No, no. 1370 01:25:32,528 --> 01:25:35,282 No, he hadn't touched a drop. 1371 01:25:35,348 --> 01:25:37,294 And, uh-- [ Clears Throat ] 1372 01:25:37,368 --> 01:25:39,312 How is Jip? 1373 01:25:39,386 --> 01:25:43,188 He's really, really well. Thanks, Auntie Violet. 1374 01:25:44,801 --> 01:25:46,657 [ Chuckles ] 1375 01:25:54,636 --> 01:25:56,908 Tah-dah! 1376 01:25:59,474 --> 01:26:03,190 - Who are they for? - They're for you because you deserve it. 1377 01:26:04,953 --> 01:26:06,996 And much, much more. 1378 01:26:09,087 --> 01:26:11,194 [ Kisses ] Oh, Jip. 1379 01:26:13,411 --> 01:26:15,803 Oh, they're beautiful. You shouldn't have. 1380 01:26:15,879 --> 01:26:18,468 Yeah, I should. 1381 01:26:18,538 --> 01:26:20,395 What's for dinner? 1382 01:26:20,462 --> 01:26:23,215 - Wait and see. - [ Laughs ] 1383 01:26:25,363 --> 01:26:28,881 [ Classical Music ] 1384 01:28:05,058 --> 01:28:07,450 - [ Stops Abruptly ] - Cunt. 1385 01:28:18,484 --> 01:28:23,379 Listen. Listen, youse. Listen. I really need to tell you something. 1386 01:28:23,451 --> 01:28:28,214 - I'm off the drugs big time. - [ Laughing ] - No, I mean it. No. 1387 01:28:28,288 --> 01:28:30,842 I'm really being serious. 1388 01:28:31,865 --> 01:28:37,035 Listen to me. I've had my head up my arse for so long, 1389 01:28:37,040 --> 01:28:39,484 all I can do is think shit. 1390 01:28:39,485 --> 01:28:41,006 - [ Laughing ] - No, listen to me. I-- I'm-- 1391 01:28:41,011 --> 01:28:46,260 Listen. I'm sick of feeling like the advert for a methadone program. 1392 01:28:46,261 --> 01:28:48,773 - I'm-- I'm-- I just, I'm-- - [ Jip ] Don't give me that shit. 1393 01:28:48,774 --> 01:28:51,859 The only reason you're off the drugs, right, is 'cause you fuckin'had 'em all, man. 1394 01:28:51,860 --> 01:28:53,034 [ Laughing ] 1395 01:28:53,231 --> 01:28:56,016 Future generations of fuckin' dopeheads are gonna have to toke your ashes 1396 01:28:56,083 --> 01:28:58,190 just to get high, you know. - [ Laughing ] 1397 01:28:58,552 --> 01:29:00,495 No, no, I'm really being serious,yeah. 1398 01:29:00,570 --> 01:29:03,640 I'm-- I'm-- I'm coming apart at the seams, Jip. 1399 01:29:03,709 --> 01:29:05,851 I'm, uh-- [ Sighs ] 1400 01:29:05,921 --> 01:29:07,811 I'm-- I'm dissolving. That's what happening to me. 1401 01:29:07,876 --> 01:29:11,043 I'm-- I'm-- I'm dissolving. I'm-- I'm-- I'm-- 1402 01:29:11,112 --> 01:29:13,963 What I'm trying to say is, um-- 1403 01:29:14,027 --> 01:29:17,414 Another couple of good pills, and-- and that's it for me. 1404 01:29:17,488 --> 01:29:20,305 It's good night, Vienna. I mean, I really feel I'm gonna, uh-- 1405 01:29:20,371 --> 01:29:23,953 Oh, it sounds like clubber's comedown chorus to me, sweetheart. 1406 01:29:24,024 --> 01:29:27,127 - Yeah,you know it. - It's not like we're gonna be doing this forever. 1407 01:29:27,196 --> 01:29:30,461 I mean, we'll all get bored of it, eventually. 1408 01:29:32,225 --> 01:29:35,874 Hey, when a comedown outweighs the good times, 1409 01:29:35,942 --> 01:29:38,312 you know the party's over, man. 1410 01:29:38,377 --> 01:29:40,748 - Mmm. - I mean, Friday was a classic, yeah. 1411 01:29:40,812 --> 01:29:42,855 - Friday rocked. - Classic. 1412 01:29:42,926 --> 01:29:46,445 But... I've definitely got to take some time out... 1413 01:29:46,516 --> 01:29:48,908 to pick up the pieces, man, and that's that. 1414 01:29:48,983 --> 01:29:52,119 - Yeah, fair enough. -And that's-- That's what I'm saying to ya. 1415 01:29:52,187 --> 01:29:54,940 Um, the honeymoon's over, Koop, it's over. 1416 01:29:55,005 --> 01:29:58,238 Uh, it's not fucking worth it. I-- I'm-- 1417 01:29:58,307 --> 01:30:00,545 That's it for me. I've had me lot. I mean, you know-- 1418 01:30:00,613 --> 01:30:03,202 Youse do what you gotta do, but I'm fuckin', that's it. 1419 01:30:03,273 --> 01:30:05,764 I mean, it's no more drugs for me. That's my lot. That's it. 1420 01:30:12,659 --> 01:30:14,703 Drinks anyone? 1421 01:30:14,776 --> 01:30:16,950 Moff?. 1422 01:30:17,018 --> 01:30:19,509 - I'll have a pint of vodka, mate. Just a little drop of Coke. - [ Laughing ] 1423 01:30:19,582 --> 01:30:22,039 I'll have a bottle of Prozac. Yeah, nice. 1424 01:30:25,253 --> 01:30:28,672 [ Lulu ] I can't believe all this time we've been going off with other people, 1425 01:30:28,745 --> 01:30:32,044 looking for the right person and just not finding them. 1426 01:30:32,108 --> 01:30:33,966 I know. It's weird, isn't it? 1427 01:30:34,032 --> 01:30:35,889 I mean, anything could've happened, do you know what I mean? 1428 01:30:35,953 --> 01:30:37,844 To change the events of last Friday. 1429 01:30:37,908 --> 01:30:41,109 And it'd just be normal now. It'd be just like-- We'd just be friends. 1430 01:30:41,177 --> 01:30:43,219 No! Don't say that! 1431 01:30:43,291 --> 01:30:47,223 I mean, you've always been there, but I've just never thought of you that way. 1432 01:30:47,295 --> 01:30:49,306 And all of a sudden, these past couple of months, 1433 01:30:49,379 --> 01:30:52,864 - it's just been like, "Jip? Hmm." - Mm-hmm. 1434 01:30:54,569 --> 01:30:56,873 God, man, I know exactly when this happened as well. 1435 01:30:56,940 --> 01:30:58,830 - I know exactly when this happened. - When? 1436 01:30:58,895 --> 01:31:01,287 Around your house, right? It was about three weeks ago. 1437 01:31:01,361 --> 01:31:03,918 We're lying on your bed, we're hugging, we're coming down. 1438 01:31:03,988 --> 01:31:06,414 - Remember? - Oh, yeah! Coming down! Absolutely. 1439 01:31:06,488 --> 01:31:08,760 - We were just keeping it legal. - Barely. 1440 01:31:08,827 --> 01:31:13,502 - Yeah, barely. - Life is full of fucking surprises, man. 1441 01:31:13,570 --> 01:31:15,962 I mean, like, a minute ago, I was thinking, 1442 01:31:16,036 --> 01:31:18,624 "Fuckin' hell! I'm never gonna have sex again for the rest of my life." 1443 01:31:18,695 --> 01:31:21,065 And now I'm thinking, "I'm having the best sex I've ever had... 1444 01:31:21,131 --> 01:31:23,948 with somebody I've loved for years," you know what I mean? 1445 01:31:24,013 --> 01:31:26,700 And, darling, it's only going to get better. 1446 01:31:26,769 --> 01:31:29,392 - Now kiss me. - Darling, 1447 01:31:29,461 --> 01:31:33,939 - I'm going to fuck your brains out. - [ Laughs ] 1448 01:31:54,036 --> 01:31:57,586 [ Jip Narrating ] Well, that's almost it from me and my friends. 1449 01:31:57,655 --> 01:31:59,513 Back to mundane Monday. 1450 01:31:59,579 --> 01:32:03,477 I guess my point is, I think we're all fucked up in our own way, you know? 1451 01:32:03,552 --> 01:32:05,409 But we're all doing it together. 1452 01:32:05,475 --> 01:32:07,331 We're freestyling on the buckled wheel of life, 1453 01:32:07,397 --> 01:32:09,734 trapped in a world of internal dialogue. 1454 01:32:09,800 --> 01:32:13,830 Like Bill Hicks said, "It's an insane world, 1455 01:32:13,901 --> 01:32:15,758 but I'm proud to be part of it." 1456 01:32:15,822 --> 01:32:19,440 [ Music Playing] ... All 1457 01:32:20,725 --> 01:32:24,986 Together as one 1458 01:32:25,051 --> 01:32:29,246 All 1459 01:32:29,312 --> 01:32:34,719 Together as one 1460 01:32:34,791 --> 01:32:39,052 All 1461 01:32:39,117 --> 01:32:44,720 Together as one 1462 01:32:44,787 --> 01:32:48,948 All 1463 01:32:49,016 --> 01:32:54,490 Together as one 1464 01:32:54,559 --> 01:32:57,979 - [ Man ] This is a beautiful day. - All 1465 01:32:58,052 --> 01:33:04,421 - It is a new day. - Together as one 1466 01:33:04,491 --> 01:33:08,653 - All - This is a beautiful day. 1467 01:33:08,721 --> 01:33:13,299 - Together as one - It is a new day. 1468 01:33:13,367 --> 01:33:18,424 - We are together. - All 1469 01:33:18,493 --> 01:33:21,345 - We are together. - Together as one 1470 01:33:21,410 --> 01:33:24,413 We are unified, we are together. 1471 01:33:24,485 --> 01:33:28,265 All 1472 01:33:28,330 --> 01:33:33,551 Together as one 1473 01:33:33,616 --> 01:33:36,654 - 'Cause together, we've got the power. - All 1474 01:33:36,724 --> 01:33:43,411 - Apart, we've got to powwow. - Together as one 1475 01:33:43,484 --> 01:33:47,865 - We are together. - All 1476 01:33:47,938 --> 01:33:53,248 Together as one 1477 01:33:53,322 --> 01:33:57,189 [ Jungle Music: C. J. Bolland ‒ It Ain't Gonna Be ] 1478 01:33:57,262 --> 01:33:59,239 It ain't gonna be me 1479 01:34:10,880 --> 01:34:12,792 It ain't gonna be me 1480 01:34:38,274 --> 01:34:40,186 It ain't gonna be me