1
00:00:23,400 --> 00:00:25,400
(roars)
2
00:00:44,720 --> 00:00:47,160
(Kermit)Pretty nice
up here, isn't it?
3
00:00:47,240 --> 00:00:49,080
(Fozzie)Kermit?
Huh?
4
00:00:49,120 --> 00:00:52,080
(Fozzie)What if we
drift out to sea?
5
00:00:52,120 --> 00:00:54,440
What if we're never
heard from again?
6
00:00:54,480 --> 00:00:55,720
What if there's a storm?
7
00:00:55,800 --> 00:00:58,280
Or we get struck
by lightning?
8
00:00:58,320 --> 00:00:59,560
That'd be neat.
9
00:00:59,640 --> 00:01:02,280
Listen, nothing's
gonna happen.
10
00:01:02,320 --> 00:01:03,640
This is just
the opening credits.
11
00:01:03,680 --> 00:01:07,280
Oh. Where are they?
12
00:01:07,320 --> 00:01:09,160
Wow!
13
00:01:09,240 --> 00:01:12,600
(Kermit)
"The Great Muppet Caper."
14
00:01:12,640 --> 00:01:15,480
(Fozzie)Nice title.
15
00:01:15,560 --> 00:01:16,800
(Gonzo)Whoo-wee!
16
00:01:16,840 --> 00:01:19,680
I'd like to try this
without the balloon.
17
00:01:19,760 --> 00:01:22,800
Try what?
Plummeting?
Yeah!
18
00:01:22,840 --> 00:01:25,240
I suppose you
could try it once.
19
00:01:25,320 --> 00:01:26,480
Kermit?
20
00:01:26,560 --> 00:01:27,800
Mm?
21
00:01:27,840 --> 00:01:30,560
How long are these
opening credits?
22
00:01:30,640 --> 00:01:33,560
Just about another
minute or so.
23
00:01:33,640 --> 00:01:36,440
My ears are popping.
24
00:01:36,520 --> 00:01:40,160
(Gonzo)I wonder how far
you could plummet before
you blacked out.
25
00:01:40,200 --> 00:01:42,240
(Kermit)Well,
don't try it, Gonzo.
26
00:01:42,320 --> 00:01:43,520
We need you for this movie.
27
00:01:43,600 --> 00:01:46,360
(Gonzo)Sure is tempting.
28
00:01:50,120 --> 00:01:51,200
(Fozzie)Kermit?
29
00:01:51,240 --> 00:01:54,360
Huh?
(Fozzie)What does
"BSC" stand for?
30
00:01:54,440 --> 00:01:56,600
I don't know.
31
00:02:00,640 --> 00:02:02,520
Gee, a lot of people
32
00:02:02,640 --> 00:02:04,680
worked on this movie.
33
00:02:04,720 --> 00:02:05,840
This is nothing.
34
00:02:05,880 --> 00:02:07,640
Wait till you see
the end credits.
35
00:02:16,560 --> 00:02:17,640
(Fozzie)Kermit?
Mm?
36
00:02:17,720 --> 00:02:21,360
(Fozzie)Are the credits over?
Not quite.
37
00:02:23,680 --> 00:02:25,720
(Fozzie)Nobody reads those
names anyway, do they?
38
00:02:25,800 --> 00:02:28,800
(Kermit)Sure.
They all have families.
39
00:02:29,320 --> 00:02:30,360
Ah.
40
00:02:30,400 --> 00:02:32,720
That's it.
The sky is clear.
41
00:02:32,760 --> 00:02:34,120
So, OK.
42
00:02:34,200 --> 00:02:35,360
Well, now what do we do?
43
00:02:35,400 --> 00:02:36,720
I mean, how does
this movie start?
44
00:02:36,800 --> 00:02:40,280
Well, we just
pull that rope.
Yes, sir!
45
00:02:40,360 --> 00:02:41,760
(escaping air)
46
00:02:41,800 --> 00:02:44,280
(all scream)
47
00:02:44,360 --> 00:02:47,280
(Kermit)We're going down!
48
00:02:47,360 --> 00:02:50,040
Heads up, below!
49
00:02:52,280 --> 00:02:54,600
(commotion)
50
00:03:02,520 --> 00:03:05,000
What a fantastic beginning.
51
00:03:05,120 --> 00:03:07,880
(♪"Hey, A Movie")
52
00:03:07,920 --> 00:03:11,360
♪There'll be spectacle
There'll be fantasy
53
00:03:11,440 --> 00:03:12,720
♪There'll be derring-do
54
00:03:12,760 --> 00:03:14,960
♪And stuff like you
have never seen
55
00:03:15,000 --> 00:03:16,160
♪Hey, a movie
56
00:03:16,240 --> 00:03:18,600
♪Yeah, we're gonna be a movie
57
00:03:18,640 --> 00:03:21,680
♪Starring everybody
♪And me
58
00:03:21,800 --> 00:03:25,200
♪There'll be heroes bold
There'll be comedy
59
00:03:25,280 --> 00:03:28,720
♪And a lot of fuss
that ends for us real happily
60
00:03:28,800 --> 00:03:29,680
♪Hey, a movie
61
00:03:29,760 --> 00:03:32,480
♪We can watch it all develop
62
00:03:32,560 --> 00:03:34,600
♪Starring everybody
63
00:03:34,640 --> 00:03:35,760
♪And me
64
00:03:35,800 --> 00:03:39,200
♪We'll take the world
and set it on its ear
65
00:03:39,280 --> 00:03:43,680
♪Come on, join in
We're gonna start right here
66
00:03:47,800 --> 00:03:49,920
It's OK.
I landed on my head.
67
00:03:50,000 --> 00:03:51,600
Come on!
(horn)
68
00:03:51,640 --> 00:03:54,240
Here, chicken!
69
00:03:54,320 --> 00:03:57,440
Hey! Why, you...
70
00:03:57,480 --> 00:03:58,360
Whoa!
71
00:03:58,440 --> 00:04:02,280
Hold it!
(sudden silence)
72
00:04:02,920 --> 00:04:04,160
Go ahead, Kermit.
73
00:04:04,200 --> 00:04:06,160
Thank you.
See, in this film,
74
00:04:06,240 --> 00:04:09,960
me and Fozzie play crack
investigative reporters
forThe Daily Chronicle.
75
00:04:10,000 --> 00:04:13,280
And Gonzo,
he's our photographer.
And it's gonna be terrific.
76
00:04:13,320 --> 00:04:15,520
(all scream)
77
00:04:15,560 --> 00:04:18,680
Boy, I wish I were you people,
seeing this
for the first time.
78
00:04:18,720 --> 00:04:20,960
(Fozzie)Wh...?
79
00:04:22,480 --> 00:04:24,400
♪There'll be crooks and cops
80
00:04:24,480 --> 00:04:25,680
♪There'll be villainy
81
00:04:25,720 --> 00:04:29,600
♪But with us on call
we'll fix it all real easily
82
00:04:29,680 --> 00:04:31,520
♪Hey, a movie
83
00:04:31,600 --> 00:04:33,440
♪Wow, it's gonna be terrific
84
00:04:33,520 --> 00:04:35,200
♪Starring everybody
85
00:04:35,240 --> 00:04:36,360
And me.
86
00:04:37,360 --> 00:04:40,200
(crunch)
Argh!
87
00:04:40,280 --> 00:04:42,840
Now, what we need, guys,
is an exciting photo story.
88
00:04:42,880 --> 00:04:44,880
Right this way,
young lady.
89
00:04:44,920 --> 00:04:47,960
I'll take a picture
of this chicken.
90
00:04:48,040 --> 00:04:49,160
Beautiful.
91
00:04:49,200 --> 00:04:52,600
That's great, Gonzo.
Yeah. Smile,
chicky babe.
92
00:04:58,400 --> 00:05:01,200
My jewels!
That man stole my jewels!
93
00:05:01,280 --> 00:05:04,720
Help! My jewels!
94
00:05:13,240 --> 00:05:15,200
Look up. Hey, do you wanna
make the front pages or not?
95
00:05:15,240 --> 00:05:19,760
Kermit, I got a great
picture of the chicken.
Oh, good.
96
00:05:19,840 --> 00:05:23,360
♪There'll be mystery
and catastrophe
97
00:05:23,400 --> 00:05:27,280
♪But it's all in fun
You paid the money,
wait and see
98
00:05:27,360 --> 00:05:29,240
♪Hey, a movie
99
00:05:29,280 --> 00:05:30,320
♪Is there any way to stop it?
100
00:05:30,400 --> 00:05:33,240
♪Starring everybody
101
00:05:33,280 --> 00:05:34,880
♪Everybody
102
00:05:34,920 --> 00:05:36,360
♪Everybody and
103
00:05:36,400 --> 00:05:39,200
♪Oh...
104
00:05:41,800 --> 00:05:45,280
♪Me ♪
105
00:05:47,840 --> 00:05:48,920
(sighs)
106
00:05:49,520 --> 00:05:52,240
How could you miss
a story like that?
107
00:05:52,280 --> 00:05:54,440
(all yelp)
108
00:05:54,520 --> 00:05:55,720
It was right under your noses,
109
00:05:55,760 --> 00:05:57,600
practically bit you
on the seat of the pants.
110
00:05:57,680 --> 00:05:59,000
There's just no excuse.
111
00:05:59,080 --> 00:06:02,440
I guess this would
be the wrong
time to ask for a raise?
112
00:06:02,480 --> 00:06:05,760
Raise? A raise?
113
00:06:06,600 --> 00:06:09,760
I'll give you a raise!
114
00:06:09,800 --> 00:06:13,240
Did you read these
headlines? Huh?
115
00:06:13,280 --> 00:06:15,160
"Jewel heist on Main Street."
116
00:06:15,240 --> 00:06:16,880
And it's nice bold print,
isn't it?
117
00:06:16,960 --> 00:06:19,280
Yes, it's very
easy to read.
Mm.
118
00:06:19,360 --> 00:06:20,920
Shut up now.
119
00:06:20,960 --> 00:06:22,240
Sorry.
120
00:06:22,280 --> 00:06:23,920
"Lady Holiday's
Jewels Stolen,"
121
00:06:23,960 --> 00:06:25,600
that's what it
says in theTimes.
122
00:06:25,640 --> 00:06:27,760
And here's theHerald.
123
00:06:27,800 --> 00:06:30,320
"Fashion Queen
of London Robbed."
124
00:06:30,360 --> 00:06:33,400
And last but not least...
125
00:06:33,480 --> 00:06:34,480
(laughs)
126
00:06:34,520 --> 00:06:37,280
...here's our cute
little banner story.
127
00:06:37,320 --> 00:06:40,800
"Identical Twins Join
the Chronicle Staff."
128
00:06:40,840 --> 00:06:43,480
Now, I ask you,
what paper would you buy?
129
00:06:43,520 --> 00:06:46,440
I read the one
that has "Dear Abby."
130
00:06:46,480 --> 00:06:49,200
Bah!
(shrieks)
131
00:06:49,280 --> 00:06:51,480
(laughs nervously)
132
00:06:51,520 --> 00:06:52,800
Gee, Mr. Tarkanian.
133
00:06:52,840 --> 00:06:54,840
We thought identical
twins working on a newspaper
134
00:06:54,920 --> 00:06:57,160
would make an
interesting story.
Yeah.
135
00:06:57,240 --> 00:06:58,640
Well, it doesn't.
136
00:06:58,680 --> 00:07:01,960
Especially since you two guys
don't look anything alike.
137
00:07:03,000 --> 00:07:05,480
Well, that's 'cause Fozzie's
not wearing his hat.
138
00:07:05,520 --> 00:07:09,720
Fozzie, put your hat back on.
Oh. Yes, sir. See?
139
00:07:09,800 --> 00:07:12,520
Oh, yeah.
140
00:07:12,600 --> 00:07:13,920
I can see it now.
141
00:07:14,000 --> 00:07:16,400
But that's still no excuse
for blowing a story.
142
00:07:16,480 --> 00:07:18,200
We'll do better next time.
143
00:07:18,280 --> 00:07:20,440
Next time?
Next time?
144
00:07:20,520 --> 00:07:21,760
What makes you think
there's gonna be a next time?
145
00:07:21,840 --> 00:07:24,960
Well, if there
isn't it's gonna
be a real short movie.
146
00:07:25,040 --> 00:07:27,120
Look, the only reason
I hired you two jerks
147
00:07:27,200 --> 00:07:29,240
was because your old man
was a friend of mine.
148
00:07:29,320 --> 00:07:32,520
(Fozzie)Dad spoke
well of you too.
149
00:07:32,560 --> 00:07:34,520
Well, I'm as sentimental
as the next guy.
150
00:07:34,560 --> 00:07:36,920
That's why I don't
want him to hear this.
151
00:07:37,000 --> 00:07:39,360
You're fired.
(gasp)
152
00:07:39,440 --> 00:07:41,280
Take that thing
down off the ceiling.
153
00:07:41,360 --> 00:07:43,240
Yeah, but, Mr. Tarkanian...
154
00:07:43,320 --> 00:07:45,160
Gonzo.
Check.
155
00:07:45,240 --> 00:07:47,680
Whoo-wee!
Won't you listen
to reason, sir?
156
00:07:47,720 --> 00:07:50,960
I'm not listening to anything
and I'm not giving
you your job back.
157
00:07:51,040 --> 00:07:52,760
I don't want you
to give us anything.
158
00:07:52,840 --> 00:07:56,360
We just want to go to England
and talk to Lady Holiday -
the woman who was robbed?
159
00:07:56,400 --> 00:07:58,520
And we'll catch those
jewel thieves for you.
160
00:07:58,560 --> 00:08:01,120
You see, all you have to do
is pay our way to London.
161
00:08:01,200 --> 00:08:03,840
Oh! Is that all I have to do?
162
00:08:03,920 --> 00:08:07,240
Well, we could use some
new luggage for the trip.
163
00:08:07,280 --> 00:08:08,560
Luggage?
(all yelp)
164
00:08:08,600 --> 00:08:11,120
Now look, beat it.
I got a deadline to meet.
165
00:08:11,200 --> 00:08:14,080
But how are we gonna
get to London?
I'll tell you what, Fozzie,
166
00:08:14,120 --> 00:08:17,360
since you're such an
investigative reporter,
you figure it out.
167
00:08:17,400 --> 00:08:19,080
I'm Fozzie.
168
00:08:19,160 --> 00:08:22,680
Oh, yeah, yeah.
The hat.
169
00:08:25,240 --> 00:08:28,200
Stop the presses!
170
00:08:28,240 --> 00:08:30,240
Why? What happened?
171
00:08:30,320 --> 00:08:33,400
I don't know.
I've always wanted
to say that.
172
00:08:33,440 --> 00:08:36,440
Look, you guys...
(Gonzo laughs)
173
00:08:46,280 --> 00:08:48,880
(farmyard noises)
174
00:08:50,400 --> 00:08:53,520
(Kermit)Oh, boy.
It must be 50 below in here.
175
00:08:53,600 --> 00:08:54,720
(Fozzie)You're lucky,
you have fur.
176
00:08:54,800 --> 00:08:57,400
(Kermit)No, no, no.
You're the one with the fur.
177
00:08:57,440 --> 00:08:59,600
Turn on your light
and see for yourself.
178
00:09:01,800 --> 00:09:03,400
Oh, yeah!
179
00:09:03,440 --> 00:09:06,640
I keep mixing us up.
180
00:09:06,680 --> 00:09:09,040
(Kermit)I think
I'll read for a while.
181
00:09:10,960 --> 00:09:13,800
I wish I had a book.
Hey, Kermit?
182
00:09:13,880 --> 00:09:16,840
Can you reach the hostess
call button? I'm hungry.
183
00:09:16,920 --> 00:09:19,440
They don't serve food
in ninth class.
(gunfire)
184
00:09:19,520 --> 00:09:23,320
What? $12 and you don't
even get a meal?
185
00:09:23,360 --> 00:09:25,600
Hey, could you guys
keep it down?
186
00:09:25,640 --> 00:09:27,600
I'm trying
to watch the movie.
187
00:09:27,640 --> 00:09:29,160
(sighs)
188
00:09:29,240 --> 00:09:31,640
Hey, somebody's coming.
189
00:09:31,720 --> 00:09:33,480
Maybe they're
bringing hamburgers.
190
00:09:33,560 --> 00:09:35,200
All out for England!
191
00:09:35,280 --> 00:09:37,160
Oh, great,
the plane is landing.
192
00:09:37,240 --> 00:09:38,720
The plane?
193
00:09:38,800 --> 00:09:41,440
Nah, the plane
lands in Italy.
Huh?
194
00:09:41,480 --> 00:09:45,160
You land in England.
Whoa!
195
00:09:45,240 --> 00:09:47,640
Kermmmmiiitt!
196
00:09:48,920 --> 00:09:50,840
What's happening?
197
00:09:50,880 --> 00:09:54,840
Whoopee!(laughs)
198
00:09:58,160 --> 00:10:02,760
(Fozzie)Geronimo!
199
00:10:05,320 --> 00:10:06,760
(Gonzo laughs)
200
00:10:06,840 --> 00:10:09,520
(Kermit)Glug!
201
00:10:09,600 --> 00:10:11,760
For once the
forecast was right.
202
00:10:11,840 --> 00:10:14,560
It said it was going
to rain cats and dogs.
203
00:10:14,640 --> 00:10:18,200
No, no.
We're bears and frogs.
And Gonzos.
204
00:10:18,280 --> 00:10:20,760
Whatever you are,
whoever you are,
205
00:10:20,840 --> 00:10:22,200
welcome to Great Britain.
206
00:10:22,280 --> 00:10:24,760
Great Britain?
We're actually
in Great Britain!
207
00:10:24,840 --> 00:10:28,000
Oh, no, we'll never
get to England now.
208
00:10:28,040 --> 00:10:30,680
You are in England,
my furry friend.
209
00:10:30,720 --> 00:10:32,200
This 'sceptered isle.
210
00:10:32,280 --> 00:10:34,400
This jewel
of the North Atlantic.
211
00:10:34,480 --> 00:10:36,400
Oh, good.
Well, we're going to London
212
00:10:36,480 --> 00:10:39,320
and we were wondering if you
could recommend a nice hotel.
213
00:10:39,400 --> 00:10:42,240
Actually, a cheap hotel.
How cheap?
214
00:10:42,280 --> 00:10:43,560
Free.
215
00:10:43,600 --> 00:10:46,560
That narrows the field a bit.
216
00:10:46,640 --> 00:10:47,720
Let's see.
217
00:10:47,760 --> 00:10:51,280
"Places where you can park
your carcasses."
218
00:10:51,360 --> 00:10:53,840
Bus terminals. River banks.
219
00:10:53,960 --> 00:10:55,640
The Happiness Hotel.
220
00:10:55,720 --> 00:10:57,880
Happiness Hotel?
That sounds great.
221
00:10:57,960 --> 00:11:00,240
What's wrong with
bus terminals?
222
00:11:01,360 --> 00:11:03,520
Well, thanks a lot
for your help, sir.
223
00:11:12,760 --> 00:11:14,120
(Kermit)Hey, guys,
this is London.
224
00:11:14,200 --> 00:11:16,960
(Fozzie)Yeah, London!
We made it! Oh, boy!
225
00:11:17,040 --> 00:11:19,200
(Gonzo)Is that
the Eiffel Tower?
(Fozzie)Yeah!
226
00:11:19,280 --> 00:11:22,080
(Kermit)No.
(Fozzie)No, no.
227
00:11:22,160 --> 00:11:23,920
Hey, Kermit?
Yeah?
228
00:11:24,000 --> 00:11:26,960
Are bears allowed
in those fountains?
What?
229
00:11:27,040 --> 00:11:28,920
Are bears allowed
in those fountains?
230
00:11:28,960 --> 00:11:31,160
No, I don't think so.
I need a bath.
231
00:11:32,200 --> 00:11:33,960
(Fozzie)This is terrific.
232
00:11:34,040 --> 00:11:36,560
Wow, look at the scenery.
233
00:11:36,600 --> 00:11:38,720
(Gonzo)It's very realistic.
234
00:11:38,800 --> 00:11:41,560
Hey, what's the name
of this river?
(Kermit)I don't know.
235
00:11:41,600 --> 00:11:43,560
(Fozzie)I think
it's the English River.
236
00:11:43,600 --> 00:11:44,560
(Kermit and Gonzo)Oh.
237
00:11:44,640 --> 00:11:46,800
(Gonzo)I'll take
a picture of it.
238
00:11:46,880 --> 00:11:49,000
Say cheese!
239
00:11:49,080 --> 00:11:50,960
(Fozzie)Did I get
my elbow in the shot?
240
00:11:51,000 --> 00:11:54,560
Don't worry.
It adds human interest.
But I'm a bear.
241
00:11:54,640 --> 00:11:57,640
Anyone for
the Happiness Hotel?
Huh?
242
00:11:57,720 --> 00:11:59,640
Oh, Happiness Hotel!
That's us!
243
00:11:59,720 --> 00:12:02,320
Yes, we want
the Happiness Hotel.
Yeah.
244
00:12:04,800 --> 00:12:06,640
Argh!
245
00:12:08,160 --> 00:12:10,880
Wow.
246
00:12:10,960 --> 00:12:13,440
Boy, another crash landing.
That was terrible.
247
00:12:13,480 --> 00:12:16,000
Well, we'll just
have to do it again.
248
00:12:16,040 --> 00:12:19,200
Oh, look.
The Happiness Hotel.
249
00:12:19,280 --> 00:12:20,400
What do you think, guys?
250
00:12:20,480 --> 00:12:21,440
(Fozzie)Wow.
251
00:12:21,480 --> 00:12:23,240
If that's
the Happiness Hotel
252
00:12:23,320 --> 00:12:26,160
I'd hate to see what
the sad one looks like.
253
00:12:30,040 --> 00:12:32,800
(snoring)
254
00:12:40,840 --> 00:12:43,440
(Kermit)Excuse me?
What?
255
00:12:43,520 --> 00:12:45,320
We'd like a room.
(fly buzzes)
256
00:12:45,360 --> 00:12:47,280
Really?
257
00:12:48,200 --> 00:12:50,280
Yeah, we'd like
to check in.
258
00:12:50,360 --> 00:12:53,560
Somebody's checking in!
(bell)
259
00:12:54,400 --> 00:12:56,800
Somebody's checking in?
260
00:12:57,200 --> 00:12:58,200
(♪"Happiness Hotel")
261
00:12:58,280 --> 00:13:01,440
♪Oh, there's no fire
in the fireplace
262
00:13:01,520 --> 00:13:03,200
♪There's no
carpet on the floor
263
00:13:03,280 --> 00:13:04,200
♪Don't try to order dinner
264
00:13:04,280 --> 00:13:06,960
♪There's no kitchen anymore
265
00:13:07,040 --> 00:13:08,840
♪But if the road's
been kinda bumpy
266
00:13:08,880 --> 00:13:10,720
♪And you need to rest a spell
267
00:13:10,760 --> 00:13:14,400
♪Well, welcome home
to the Happiness Hotel
268
00:13:19,200 --> 00:13:22,880
Hey, how are you guys
fixing to pay?
What are our choices?
269
00:13:22,960 --> 00:13:25,920
A, credit card.
B, cash.
270
00:13:26,000 --> 00:13:28,680
C, sneak out
in the middle
of the night.
271
00:13:28,720 --> 00:13:30,400
We'll take C.
272
00:13:30,480 --> 00:13:33,880
Very popular choice.
(fly buzzes)
273
00:13:36,760 --> 00:13:38,880
♪If you got luggage
keep it handy
274
00:13:39,000 --> 00:13:40,200
♪But you're running
out of luck
275
00:13:40,240 --> 00:13:42,400
♪'Cause the bellhops
ain't too organized
276
00:13:42,480 --> 00:13:44,120
♪And the elevator's stuck
277
00:13:44,200 --> 00:13:45,800
♪Still if you don't mind
friendly animals
278
00:13:45,880 --> 00:13:47,120
♪And can learn
to stand the smell
279
00:13:47,200 --> 00:13:50,720
♪Well, welcome home
to the Happiness Hotel
280
00:13:57,560 --> 00:14:00,240
You know, I may be mistaken,
but the bellhops
look like rats.
281
00:14:00,280 --> 00:14:02,560
You should see
the chambermaids.
282
00:14:14,800 --> 00:14:16,720
♪Welcome home
♪Welcome home
283
00:14:16,760 --> 00:14:18,440
♪Welcome home
♪Welcome home
284
00:14:18,480 --> 00:14:20,200
♪No matter where you wander
285
00:14:20,280 --> 00:14:22,200
♪You will never do as well
286
00:14:27,280 --> 00:14:29,360
♪OK, the lobby's
looking shabby
287
00:14:29,440 --> 00:14:30,480
♪And it's got the
wrong address
288
00:14:30,560 --> 00:14:33,240
♪And the whole dang thing
has been condemned
289
00:14:33,280 --> 00:14:34,760
♪by American Express
290
00:14:34,800 --> 00:14:36,720
♪Still the management
is cheerful
291
00:14:36,800 --> 00:14:38,000
♪Though the whole joint's
gone to hell
292
00:14:38,080 --> 00:14:42,760
♪Well, welcome home
to the Happiness Hotel
293
00:14:43,480 --> 00:14:46,120
You guys live here?
Yeah, but only between gigs.
294
00:14:46,240 --> 00:14:49,880
So that means we've been here
this time, what, five years?
295
00:14:49,960 --> 00:14:52,040
Yeah, but, like,
OK, you know,
296
00:14:52,160 --> 00:14:54,200
our agent, you know, like,
he says, I mean, like,
297
00:14:54,280 --> 00:14:55,960
things are really
going to break
298
00:14:56,000 --> 00:14:58,360
as soon as we get
our new glossies.
299
00:14:58,440 --> 00:15:00,760
Argh!
300
00:15:00,800 --> 00:15:03,000
What's wrong with the drummer?
He looks a little crazed.
301
00:15:03,080 --> 00:15:07,080
Aw, he's just upset about
missing the Rembrandt exhibit
at the National Gallery.
302
00:15:07,160 --> 00:15:08,840
(Animal)Renoir!
303
00:15:47,400 --> 00:15:49,520
♪Oh, there are bugs
♪There are bugs
304
00:15:49,600 --> 00:15:51,840
♪And there are lice
♪There are lice
305
00:15:51,880 --> 00:15:53,760
♪Sure, we have
our little problems
306
00:15:53,840 --> 00:15:55,680
♪But you'll never
beat the price
307
00:15:55,720 --> 00:15:56,560
♪You got every kind of critter
308
00:15:56,680 --> 00:15:59,200
♪You got every kind of pest
309
00:15:59,240 --> 00:16:00,880
♪But we treat
'em all as equals
310
00:16:00,920 --> 00:16:02,840
♪Just like any other guest
311
00:16:02,880 --> 00:16:04,640
♪Though you're cleaner
than the others
312
00:16:04,720 --> 00:16:06,320
♪Still, as far as we can tell
313
00:16:06,400 --> 00:16:09,560
♪You'll fit right in
to the Happiness Hotel
314
00:16:09,640 --> 00:16:11,880
♪We'll fit right in
315
00:16:11,960 --> 00:16:14,880
♪To the Happiness Hotel ♪
316
00:16:14,960 --> 00:16:17,360
Say cheese!
317
00:16:18,520 --> 00:16:20,640
(Gonzo laughs)
318
00:16:22,000 --> 00:16:26,760
You are all weirdos. Ugh.
319
00:16:26,880 --> 00:16:29,960
(strain)
Oh, that's just fine
right there.
320
00:16:30,040 --> 00:16:31,560
(clears throat)
321
00:16:31,600 --> 00:16:34,560
Thank you.
322
00:16:34,640 --> 00:16:38,360
Hey, not bad.
323
00:16:38,400 --> 00:16:40,160
Are you sure
we can afford this?
324
00:16:40,960 --> 00:16:42,960
Hey, Kermit, I'm
getting hungry.
325
00:16:43,040 --> 00:16:45,680
Call room service.
There's no phone.
326
00:16:45,760 --> 00:16:49,000
(Rizzo)That's OK.
There's no food either.
(rat)Come on, Rizzo.
327
00:16:49,760 --> 00:16:52,560
Look, why don't we forget
about food and get a good
night's sleep?
328
00:16:52,600 --> 00:16:55,520
We have to get up early
to interview Lady Holiday.
329
00:16:56,280 --> 00:16:58,680
Boy, I sure could
use something
330
00:16:58,760 --> 00:17:01,160
from one or more
of the basic food groups.
331
00:17:01,240 --> 00:17:02,960
We'll have breakfast
in the morning.
332
00:17:03,040 --> 00:17:05,240
Right now, let's just
be thankful we're here.
333
00:17:05,280 --> 00:17:08,960
(springs boing)
(all yell)
334
00:17:09,000 --> 00:17:10,240
(Gonzo, muffled)
Say, this is nice.
335
00:17:10,280 --> 00:17:12,800
(Kermit, muffled)Can somebody
turn out the light?
336
00:17:12,880 --> 00:17:13,640
(smash)
337
00:17:13,760 --> 00:17:14,800
Thank you.
338
00:17:17,600 --> 00:17:19,600
This is Lady Holiday.
339
00:17:19,720 --> 00:17:23,280
Milan speaking?
Then put him on.
340
00:17:23,320 --> 00:17:25,720
Oh, yes, darling.
Yes, I'm fine.
341
00:17:25,800 --> 00:17:29,360
I had quite a scare.
Thank God I wasn't hurt.
342
00:17:29,480 --> 00:17:31,600
Of course my diamonds
were valuable.
343
00:17:31,640 --> 00:17:34,480
All my diamonds
are valuable.
344
00:17:34,520 --> 00:17:36,840
Now, darling, I want you
to call the United States
and tellVogue
345
00:17:36,920 --> 00:17:39,640
they can't have the
photographs of the spring line
until after the show.
346
00:17:39,720 --> 00:17:41,800
I'm not too happy
with some of the designs.
347
00:17:41,880 --> 00:17:45,240
Still have to
make some changes.
348
00:17:47,920 --> 00:17:50,280
(murmurs of approval)
349
00:17:50,320 --> 00:17:51,640
(yelps)
350
00:17:51,720 --> 00:17:53,640
Well, I'm looking
at three of the gowns now
351
00:17:53,760 --> 00:17:55,920
and I can see
horrendous mistakes.
352
00:17:56,000 --> 00:17:58,040
Of course Paris
should be notified.
353
00:17:58,120 --> 00:18:01,680
Carla. The neckline
on that gown
is too high, don't you think?
354
00:18:01,760 --> 00:18:04,280
I rather like the effect.
Do you like looking
like an ostrich?
355
00:18:04,360 --> 00:18:06,560
Of course not.
And Marla.
356
00:18:06,640 --> 00:18:08,160
Too many frills
and furbelows.
357
00:18:08,200 --> 00:18:11,840
I don't think we should strive
for the fantail pigeon look,
do you?
358
00:18:11,920 --> 00:18:13,800
And you, Darla.
359
00:18:13,840 --> 00:18:15,280
That outfit's the pits.
360
00:18:15,360 --> 00:18:17,840
Loose where it should
be tight and tight
where it should be loose,
361
00:18:17,920 --> 00:18:19,120
like the folds
on a turkey's neck.
362
00:18:19,200 --> 00:18:22,000
Why would I design such
atrocious-looking clothes?
363
00:18:22,440 --> 00:18:23,600
Oh!
364
00:18:24,280 --> 00:18:27,480
I must be getting senile.
(woman) Yes, Lady Holiday?
365
00:18:27,520 --> 00:18:30,560
We have to make drastic
changes in the new line
before the show tomorrow.
366
00:18:30,640 --> 00:18:34,000
All my girls are going around
looking like barnyard animals.
367
00:18:34,920 --> 00:18:37,280
(someone clears their throat)
368
00:18:37,360 --> 00:18:38,840
Good heavens.
Who are you?
369
00:18:43,040 --> 00:18:45,080
My name is Miss Piggy
370
00:18:45,160 --> 00:18:49,240
and I would like to be
a high-fashion model.
371
00:18:50,120 --> 00:18:51,920
Doesn't surprise me.
372
00:18:52,000 --> 00:18:53,720
Seems to be the way
we're heading.
373
00:18:53,800 --> 00:18:57,760
I've always dreamed
of being a Holiday model.
374
00:18:57,840 --> 00:18:59,760
I have brought my
je ne sais quoi
375
00:18:59,840 --> 00:19:01,840
and my portfolio all
the way here to London
376
00:19:01,880 --> 00:19:06,520
to see you, the one
and only Lady Holiday.
377
00:19:06,560 --> 00:19:09,920
May I come in?
Absolutely not.
378
00:19:10,600 --> 00:19:13,560
May I show you
my portfolio?
No.
379
00:19:13,640 --> 00:19:14,920
Good. Here.
380
00:19:15,000 --> 00:19:17,360
You may open it.
381
00:19:17,400 --> 00:19:18,240
Ah.
382
00:19:18,320 --> 00:19:20,880
This is me
reeking grandeur.
383
00:19:21,760 --> 00:19:23,200
Being aloof.
384
00:19:23,920 --> 00:19:26,200
(laughs)
Being demure.
385
00:19:26,800 --> 00:19:28,400
Ah. Daring.
386
00:19:28,480 --> 00:19:31,360
Interesting range
of emotions.
387
00:19:31,760 --> 00:19:32,920
You think so?
388
00:19:33,000 --> 00:19:35,480
Well, as you can see
from this small sampling,
389
00:19:35,560 --> 00:19:37,600
modeling is my life.
390
00:19:37,680 --> 00:19:40,600
It is my destiny.
I shall accept nothing less.
391
00:19:40,640 --> 00:19:42,760
I can offer you a job
as a receptionist.
392
00:19:42,840 --> 00:19:43,640
(shrieks with delight)
393
00:19:43,720 --> 00:19:45,480
I'll take it!
I'll take it!
394
00:19:45,560 --> 00:19:47,480
Oh, thank you, thank you!
Thank you!
395
00:19:47,560 --> 00:19:49,920
Oh! Oh! Oh!
396
00:19:50,000 --> 00:19:52,640
You won't be sorry,
I promise. I can type,
397
00:19:52,720 --> 00:19:55,400
I can take shorthand,
I can make coffee.
398
00:19:55,440 --> 00:19:57,880
I can do it all.
Sit.
399
00:19:57,960 --> 00:20:00,520
I can sit.
I'm very good at sitting.
400
00:20:00,600 --> 00:20:02,480
Are you quite under control?
401
00:20:02,560 --> 00:20:04,800
Mm, mm, mm, mm!
402
00:20:04,840 --> 00:20:08,400
Now, I'll be lunching
with my brother Nicky.
403
00:20:08,440 --> 00:20:09,920
He's second in command here
404
00:20:09,960 --> 00:20:11,920
and he's an
irresponsible parasite.
405
00:20:11,960 --> 00:20:13,760
But I had to bring
him into the business
406
00:20:13,800 --> 00:20:15,800
because he squandered
his half of the inheritance
407
00:20:15,840 --> 00:20:18,440
and he has categorically
no prospects.
408
00:20:18,480 --> 00:20:19,480
Not that he's grateful.
409
00:20:19,560 --> 00:20:21,640
He still gambles
and incurs bad debts,
410
00:20:21,720 --> 00:20:23,640
uses my charge accounts,
eats my food
411
00:20:23,720 --> 00:20:26,240
and borrows my cars
without asking permission.
412
00:20:26,320 --> 00:20:29,320
And certainly
he's not to be trusted.
413
00:20:29,360 --> 00:20:32,800
I wouldn't even put it past
him to try to steal my most
valuable and largest jewel,
414
00:20:32,840 --> 00:20:35,000
the fabulous Baseball Diamond.
415
00:20:35,080 --> 00:20:38,880
And I don't know why his bow
ties are always crooked.
416
00:20:39,760 --> 00:20:41,760
Still, in all,
he is my brother.
417
00:20:41,840 --> 00:20:44,160
Why are you telling
me all this?
418
00:20:44,240 --> 00:20:46,080
It's plot exposition.
It has to go somewhere.
419
00:20:46,160 --> 00:20:49,480
Anyway, I want you to answer
the telephone while I'm gone
420
00:20:49,600 --> 00:20:51,680
and straighten
up the office.
421
00:20:51,720 --> 00:20:53,560
Consider it done.
422
00:20:54,840 --> 00:20:57,720
Everything's under control.
Not to sweat.
423
00:20:57,800 --> 00:21:00,600
Carry on.
I'll be back in an hour.
424
00:21:02,960 --> 00:21:03,840
Whee!
425
00:21:03,880 --> 00:21:06,520
Oh, boy, oh, boy,
oh, boy, oh, boy!
426
00:21:06,560 --> 00:21:08,760
Oh, I am going
to be a famous model.
427
00:21:08,840 --> 00:21:10,400
Oh, I'm so happy for me.
428
00:21:10,480 --> 00:21:12,440
Miss Piggy,
you are on your way.
429
00:21:12,520 --> 00:21:14,360
(giggles)
430
00:21:14,400 --> 00:21:17,480
Where does
Lady Holiday get off
calling me an ostrich?
431
00:21:17,520 --> 00:21:19,600
We'll get even with
Lady Holiday tonight
432
00:21:19,680 --> 00:21:20,920
when we steal
her necklace.
433
00:21:21,000 --> 00:21:22,960
What are you going to wear
for the robbery?
434
00:21:25,840 --> 00:21:27,200
Hi.
435
00:21:27,280 --> 00:21:29,200
Hi. Hello.
436
00:21:29,280 --> 00:21:30,960
Hubba hubba!
437
00:21:31,040 --> 00:21:33,320
Excuse me, where's
Lady Holiday's office?
438
00:21:33,360 --> 00:21:36,320
Round the corner,
to the left.
Oh. Thank you.
439
00:21:36,400 --> 00:21:38,880
Did you just give
directions to a frog?
I guess I did.
440
00:21:38,920 --> 00:21:40,320
Smile.
441
00:21:41,600 --> 00:21:43,880
Is that
a new photographer?
442
00:21:43,920 --> 00:21:47,240
Urgh!
443
00:21:47,280 --> 00:21:48,880
I think I'm stuck.
444
00:21:48,920 --> 00:21:50,600
Gonzo? Gonzo!
445
00:21:50,680 --> 00:21:52,840
Gonzo. Gonzo.
446
00:21:52,880 --> 00:21:54,560
Pull.
447
00:21:57,400 --> 00:21:59,080
Gonzo, are you OK?
448
00:21:59,160 --> 00:22:01,320
Oh, sure.
It was just my nose.
449
00:22:01,400 --> 00:22:04,960
Hey, you guys stay here.
I'll find Lady Holiday.
Yes, sir.
450
00:22:05,040 --> 00:22:08,760
Hey, Fozzie. Come on,
get your nose in here.
It's really fun.
451
00:22:15,080 --> 00:22:18,240
Mr. Holiday? Did you order
a gross of flowered socks?
452
00:22:18,320 --> 00:22:22,240
(Piggy)Oh! What an honor.
You're all so wonderful.
453
00:22:22,320 --> 00:22:25,200
Thank you for choosing moi
as model of the year.
454
00:22:25,280 --> 00:22:30,440
Oh! I never dreamed
when I first began
in this business
455
00:22:30,520 --> 00:22:33,320
that I would reach
such lofty heights.
456
00:22:33,400 --> 00:22:35,560
Thank you!
Thank you!
457
00:22:35,600 --> 00:22:37,520
Excuse me.
458
00:22:39,920 --> 00:22:42,600
So, what do you think
about the drapes, hm?
459
00:22:42,680 --> 00:22:45,480
Personally, I'd rather
see shutters. Yes.
460
00:22:45,560 --> 00:22:47,360
And on this wall here...
461
00:22:47,440 --> 00:22:49,600
(screams)
462
00:22:51,440 --> 00:22:53,960
(whimpers)
463
00:23:02,480 --> 00:23:04,680
Lady Holiday?
464
00:23:06,720 --> 00:23:08,920
Lady Holiday?
465
00:23:20,960 --> 00:23:22,880
Gee, are you OK?
466
00:23:22,960 --> 00:23:26,480
I don't think
I'll ever be the same.
467
00:23:26,560 --> 00:23:29,160
Pardon?
Oh.
468
00:23:29,240 --> 00:23:31,800
I mean, I don't usually
fall like that.
469
00:23:31,840 --> 00:23:33,760
I thought it was
a very nice fall.
470
00:23:33,840 --> 00:23:35,440
It was quite graceful,
actually.
471
00:23:35,480 --> 00:23:39,240
Oh, thank you,
whoever you are.
472
00:23:39,320 --> 00:23:41,200
My name is Kermit the Frog
473
00:23:41,280 --> 00:23:42,880
and I've come all
the way from America
474
00:23:42,960 --> 00:23:45,160
to interview you
forThe Daily Chronicle.
475
00:23:45,240 --> 00:23:48,160
Me? Why me?
476
00:23:48,240 --> 00:23:50,640
Because you're
Lady Holiday.
477
00:23:51,840 --> 00:23:53,440
Oh. Oh.
478
00:23:53,520 --> 00:23:55,360
Yeah, right.
Reason enough.
479
00:23:55,440 --> 00:23:57,640
(giggles)Um...
480
00:23:57,720 --> 00:24:00,600
You wanna help me
out of this wastebasket?
Oh.
481
00:24:00,680 --> 00:24:02,520
Oh, yeah.
Now just pull.
482
00:24:02,600 --> 00:24:05,640
OK.
(strains)
483
00:24:05,680 --> 00:24:07,680
Harder.
OK.
484
00:24:09,560 --> 00:24:11,960
(breathes heavily)
485
00:24:12,040 --> 00:24:13,880
So... listen.
486
00:24:13,960 --> 00:24:15,760
Can I ask you a couple
of questions now?
487
00:24:15,840 --> 00:24:19,160
No, no.
Um... Not here.
488
00:24:19,200 --> 00:24:21,760
So busy.
So much to do.
489
00:24:21,840 --> 00:24:24,400
Well, perhaps we could
have dinner tonight?
490
00:24:24,520 --> 00:24:28,200
Yes. Fine. Swell.
See you then.
491
00:24:28,240 --> 00:24:31,200
I'll pick you up
at your house.
It must be beautiful.
492
00:24:31,280 --> 00:24:33,400
I'm sure it is.
Hm?
493
00:24:33,440 --> 00:24:35,440
(laughs nervously)
I mean, sure it is!
494
00:24:35,520 --> 00:24:36,280
Yeah.
495
00:24:36,360 --> 00:24:38,720
So, where do you live?
496
00:24:40,360 --> 00:24:42,960
Um... Guess!
497
00:24:44,640 --> 00:24:47,120
Probably some highbrow
street somewhere.
498
00:24:47,200 --> 00:24:50,240
Highbrow Street,
absolutely right.
499
00:24:50,280 --> 00:24:51,240
Highbrow Street.
500
00:24:51,280 --> 00:24:53,520
How did you guess?
Are you psychic?
501
00:24:53,560 --> 00:24:56,360
But now, guess what number.
502
00:24:56,400 --> 00:24:59,720
I don't know.
Number 17?
503
00:24:59,760 --> 00:25:01,200
Yes, all right.
17 Highbrow Street.
504
00:25:01,240 --> 00:25:04,240
OK. I'll pick you up at,
shall we say...
505
00:25:04,320 --> 00:25:07,240
eight o'clock?
5:30?
506
00:25:07,280 --> 00:25:07,960
4:15?
9:20?
507
00:25:08,040 --> 00:25:10,440
(both)Seven o'clock.
508
00:25:10,480 --> 00:25:12,560
OK. That was easy.
Yes, easy.
509
00:25:12,600 --> 00:25:15,720
OK, well I'll
see you later.
Yes. Eight o'clock.
510
00:25:15,760 --> 00:25:17,200
Seven.
511
00:25:17,280 --> 00:25:18,760
Seven, seven.
512
00:25:19,360 --> 00:25:21,200
Well, um...
513
00:25:22,000 --> 00:25:24,800
Goodbye.
Yes.
514
00:25:25,280 --> 00:25:27,960
Adios,mon chéri.
515
00:25:30,240 --> 00:25:31,280
Much obliged.
516
00:25:31,320 --> 00:25:34,440
So, Kermit, tell me,
what about Lady Holiday?
517
00:25:34,480 --> 00:25:38,200
I mean, is she pretty?
Oh, yeah.
Not at all what I expected.
518
00:25:38,280 --> 00:25:40,280
Nice eyes, sturdy legs.
519
00:25:40,360 --> 00:25:42,280
And it might have been
my imagination,
520
00:25:42,360 --> 00:25:44,320
but I think she found
me attractive.
521
00:25:44,400 --> 00:25:46,520
Oh. Taxi!
522
00:25:46,600 --> 00:25:48,520
Well, of course
she found you attractive.
523
00:25:48,600 --> 00:25:49,960
It runs in the family.
524
00:25:50,040 --> 00:25:52,240
Taxi! Taxi!
525
00:25:52,960 --> 00:25:55,000
I don't know why
the cabs won't stop.
526
00:25:55,080 --> 00:25:56,720
Just leave it to me.
527
00:25:58,240 --> 00:26:00,640
Taxiiii!
(tires screech)
528
00:26:00,680 --> 00:26:02,920
(both yell)
(gulps)
529
00:26:04,200 --> 00:26:06,200
That's very effective.
530
00:26:06,280 --> 00:26:09,320
Yeah, it's great
when it works.
531
00:26:09,360 --> 00:26:12,280
Did you want me
to stop or what?
532
00:26:12,360 --> 00:26:14,080
(Kermit)Thank you
very much, sir.
533
00:26:14,160 --> 00:26:15,960
Oh, you can call
me Beauregard.
534
00:26:16,000 --> 00:26:19,240
Where are you guys going?
The Happiness Hotel.
535
00:26:19,320 --> 00:26:21,840
Oh, good, that's where I'm
going. How do you get there?
536
00:26:21,880 --> 00:26:26,480
Haven't you ever been there?
Of course.
I live there.
537
00:26:26,600 --> 00:26:28,680
I just don't know
how to get there.
538
00:26:28,720 --> 00:26:31,920
(Kermit)It's straight
down this street.
OK.
539
00:26:32,000 --> 00:26:34,680
(all scream)
540
00:26:36,480 --> 00:26:38,880
OK. Good. Now just
keep going straight.
541
00:26:38,960 --> 00:26:40,680
Will do.
542
00:26:46,320 --> 00:26:48,760
It takes a while
to get to know the town.
543
00:26:48,840 --> 00:26:52,520
How long have you
lived in London?
All my life.
544
00:26:52,560 --> 00:26:54,520
How come you don't have
an English accent?
545
00:26:54,600 --> 00:26:57,360
Hey, I'm lucky to have
a driver's license.
546
00:26:57,400 --> 00:27:00,400
(all scream)
547
00:27:06,280 --> 00:27:09,920
Hey, it's just up ahead
there on the right.
What is?
548
00:27:10,000 --> 00:27:13,280
The Happiness Hotel.
Oh, yeah.
549
00:27:13,360 --> 00:27:15,440
What's your room number?
550
00:27:15,520 --> 00:27:16,880
Wh...? I don't know.
We're on the second floor.
551
00:27:16,960 --> 00:27:19,360
Oh, I'm sorry.
552
00:27:19,400 --> 00:27:22,560
I can only take you
as far as the lobby.
553
00:27:23,440 --> 00:27:25,880
(horns blare)
554
00:27:25,920 --> 00:27:27,400
Whee!
555
00:27:39,400 --> 00:27:42,640
You can never find a cab
when you need one.
556
00:27:42,760 --> 00:27:47,200
(laughs)Whoo-whee!
Can we do that again?
557
00:27:47,240 --> 00:27:48,920
Well, thank you very much,
Beauregard.
558
00:27:49,000 --> 00:27:51,600
You're welcome.
Hey, how do I get out of here?
559
00:27:51,680 --> 00:27:54,600
I suggest you make a U-turn.
560
00:27:54,680 --> 00:27:56,920
Right.
561
00:27:57,000 --> 00:27:58,920
(revs engine)
562
00:27:59,000 --> 00:28:03,440
(man)He's headed
for the kitchen!
(Kermit)Oh, no!
563
00:28:06,640 --> 00:28:09,600
(hens cluck)
564
00:28:11,520 --> 00:28:13,760
(speaks mock Swedish)
565
00:28:15,600 --> 00:28:19,280
Well, looks like
steering wheel
soufflé for dinner.
566
00:28:19,320 --> 00:28:20,720
Again?
567
00:28:20,800 --> 00:28:22,960
If you'll excuse me,
I'm going out to dinner.
568
00:28:23,000 --> 00:28:25,760
That's right.
Kermit's got a date
with Lady Holiday.
569
00:28:25,800 --> 00:28:28,800
You don't have
to tell everybody.
(whispers)Oh. Right.
570
00:28:28,880 --> 00:28:32,800
Pops, don't tell anybody.
Kermit's got a date
with Lady Holiday.
571
00:28:32,880 --> 00:28:35,880
(loudly)Kermit's got a date
with Lady Holiday?
572
00:28:35,960 --> 00:28:39,280
Oh, wow. Wait till I tell
the guys in the band.
573
00:28:39,360 --> 00:28:42,080
Tell us what?
Yeah, what's going down?
574
00:28:42,160 --> 00:28:44,320
(speaks mock Swedish)
575
00:28:44,400 --> 00:28:48,680
Kermit and Lady Holiday?
All right!
576
00:28:48,760 --> 00:28:50,760
(all chat excitedly)
577
00:28:52,960 --> 00:28:54,880
Fozzie, this is all
very embarrassing.
578
00:28:54,960 --> 00:28:58,280
Kermit, don't worry.
It won't go outside this room.
579
00:28:58,320 --> 00:29:00,600
Here is a Muppet news flash.
580
00:29:00,640 --> 00:29:03,280
Kermit the Frog
to date Lady Holiday.
581
00:29:03,320 --> 00:29:05,680
Details at 11.
582
00:29:12,320 --> 00:29:13,840
Smile.
583
00:29:14,720 --> 00:29:16,720
Local poultry.
584
00:29:16,800 --> 00:29:17,960
(hums)
585
00:29:22,720 --> 00:29:26,720
Boy, it's a good thing you
didn't tell everybody where
Lady Holiday lives,
586
00:29:26,800 --> 00:29:29,280
otherwise they'd all
be camped on her doorstep.
587
00:29:29,360 --> 00:29:32,560
That is just for you
and me to know, brother.
588
00:29:32,640 --> 00:29:35,760
We are going to have ourselves
a time tonight.
589
00:29:35,840 --> 00:29:37,480
Wacka wacka.
590
00:29:37,520 --> 00:29:39,240
"We"? What do
you mean "we"?
591
00:29:39,320 --> 00:29:41,280
The two of us.
You missed a spot.
592
00:29:41,360 --> 00:29:43,640
Anyway. When we get there
tonight, just act naturally.
593
00:29:43,760 --> 00:29:46,160
No, no. Wait a second,
wait a second.
It's whenIget there.
594
00:29:46,240 --> 00:29:48,080
This is my date
with Lady Holiday.
595
00:29:48,160 --> 00:29:51,520
I'm going alone.
So it's "me" not "we."
596
00:29:51,600 --> 00:29:52,800
Oh.
597
00:29:52,880 --> 00:29:56,240
I see. Fine.
598
00:29:56,320 --> 00:29:58,880
Boy, I wish
I had whiskers.
599
00:29:58,960 --> 00:30:01,080
Of course, then I'd
have to use a blade.
600
00:30:01,160 --> 00:30:03,640
Kermit?
Turn around.
601
00:30:03,720 --> 00:30:07,480
Are you really going
to go without me tonight?
602
00:30:07,560 --> 00:30:12,280
Well, Fozzie, I figure
this is something that
I have to do alone.
603
00:30:13,320 --> 00:30:15,840
No problem.
Oh good.
604
00:30:15,920 --> 00:30:18,480
Just hand me
my cuff links.
Yes, sir.
605
00:30:18,560 --> 00:30:20,400
♪And straighten my tie
606
00:30:20,440 --> 00:30:22,720
♪Just drench me
in rich cologne
607
00:30:22,800 --> 00:30:24,880
♪And don't ask me why
608
00:30:24,920 --> 00:30:25,800
(coughs)
609
00:30:25,880 --> 00:30:26,920
♪Go on and pluck
me a boutonniere
610
00:30:26,960 --> 00:30:30,760
♪You're moving up
and walking on air
611
00:30:30,840 --> 00:30:34,400
♪Steppin' out with a star
and feeling high
612
00:30:35,840 --> 00:30:38,200
♪Come polish my wing tips
613
00:30:38,240 --> 00:30:40,000
♪And call for the car
(whistles)
614
00:30:40,080 --> 00:30:45,120
♪I'll sweep her right off
her feet wherever we are
615
00:30:46,240 --> 00:30:48,760
♪A satin collar
and velvet vest
616
00:30:48,840 --> 00:30:50,920
♪I never settle
for second best
617
00:30:51,000 --> 00:30:55,200
♪Steppin' out with a star
Sad times, bye-bye
618
00:30:55,280 --> 00:30:57,920
♪Have I got style?
619
00:30:58,000 --> 00:31:00,240
♪Have I got taste?
620
00:31:00,280 --> 00:31:03,160
♪On someone else, I swear
621
00:31:03,240 --> 00:31:07,080
♪This savoir-faire
would be such a waste
622
00:31:11,960 --> 00:31:14,960
♪Come toss me my top hat
Yes, sir!
623
00:31:15,000 --> 00:31:16,760
♪I'm ready to fly
624
00:31:16,800 --> 00:31:19,120
♪Busting into the upper crust
625
00:31:19,160 --> 00:31:21,080
♪As easy as pie
626
00:31:21,120 --> 00:31:23,880
♪Just watch my
dreams come true
627
00:31:23,960 --> 00:31:27,040
♪This is something
I was born to do
628
00:31:27,120 --> 00:31:31,120
♪Steppin' out with a star
That star is you
629
00:31:33,120 --> 00:31:35,320
(hums)
630
00:31:49,800 --> 00:31:52,840
(shadow continues humming)
631
00:31:52,880 --> 00:31:55,840
♪Have you got class?
♪Have I got class?
632
00:31:55,920 --> 00:31:58,400
♪Have you got chic?
♪Have I got chic?
633
00:31:58,480 --> 00:32:01,680
♪To think that you and me
were nobody
634
00:32:01,760 --> 00:32:04,480
♪Why, only last week
Hey, guys!
635
00:32:10,840 --> 00:32:13,000
♪I'm ready to flyyyyyy
636
00:32:15,480 --> 00:32:18,880
Kermit!
At least I can try.
637
00:32:18,960 --> 00:32:22,240
♪Just watch my
dreams come true
638
00:32:22,320 --> 00:32:24,680
♪This is something
I was born to do
639
00:32:24,720 --> 00:32:27,320
♪Steppin' out with a star
Bye, bad times
640
00:32:27,360 --> 00:32:29,760
♪Steppin' out with a star
Hey, good times
641
00:32:29,880 --> 00:32:36,040
♪Steppin' out with a star
and feeling high ♪
642
00:32:36,120 --> 00:32:37,200
Yeah!
643
00:32:38,000 --> 00:32:40,840
Well, how do I look?
644
00:32:41,520 --> 00:32:43,920
Which one are you?
645
00:32:44,000 --> 00:32:46,080
I'm the one on the right.
Oh.
646
00:32:46,160 --> 00:32:50,160
Well, y... you
look like you're
gonna have a terrific time.
647
00:32:50,240 --> 00:32:52,160
Without me.
648
00:32:52,240 --> 00:32:55,800
Fozzie?
What?
649
00:32:56,400 --> 00:32:58,200
You can come.
650
00:32:59,200 --> 00:33:01,040
You mean it?
Mm-hm.
651
00:33:01,080 --> 00:33:03,040
Oh, boy!
652
00:33:03,480 --> 00:33:05,400
Great news, gang.
We can go!
653
00:33:05,440 --> 00:33:07,760
(cheer)
654
00:33:27,080 --> 00:33:30,040
(milk bottles clatter)
(shrieks)
655
00:33:30,080 --> 00:33:32,080
(grunts)
656
00:33:52,000 --> 00:33:54,800
Awfully disappointing
weather today.
657
00:33:54,880 --> 00:33:56,880
Hm?
658
00:33:56,960 --> 00:33:59,720
The weather. Awfully
disappointing today.
659
00:33:59,800 --> 00:34:00,800
Is it, is it?
660
00:34:00,880 --> 00:34:04,280
Yes. Mm, yes, yes.
I know what you mean.
661
00:34:12,320 --> 00:34:14,240
It was rather
disappointing yesterday.
662
00:34:14,320 --> 00:34:16,240
And the day before.
663
00:34:18,880 --> 00:34:21,320
(smash)
664
00:34:21,400 --> 00:34:23,840
(grunting)
665
00:34:25,160 --> 00:34:27,520
What is it, Neville?
666
00:34:28,120 --> 00:34:31,000
(grunting and straining)
667
00:34:31,080 --> 00:34:32,680
Um...
668
00:34:34,240 --> 00:34:36,720
Pig... um...
669
00:34:36,840 --> 00:34:40,080
climbing up the outside
of the house, dear.
670
00:34:40,160 --> 00:34:41,160
Oh.
671
00:34:51,640 --> 00:34:55,360
Next time they want stunts
they get a double.
672
00:34:55,400 --> 00:34:58,080
The day before that was
awfully disappointing too.
673
00:34:58,160 --> 00:34:59,400
Mm.
674
00:34:59,480 --> 00:35:02,880
And of course the weekend
was perfectly frightful.
675
00:35:02,960 --> 00:35:04,720
Never stopped raining.
676
00:35:14,200 --> 00:35:17,200
Neville?
Hm?
677
00:35:17,240 --> 00:35:20,000
Am I boring you?
What, dear?
678
00:35:20,080 --> 00:35:22,960
I said, am I boring you?
Boring me?
679
00:35:23,040 --> 00:35:25,040
(strained laugh)
680
00:35:25,120 --> 00:35:26,320
That's a good one.
681
00:35:26,400 --> 00:35:29,320
I'm having the time
of my life, dear.
682
00:35:29,360 --> 00:35:30,560
Neville, did you say...
683
00:35:30,600 --> 00:35:34,480
a pig was climbing up
the outside of the house?
684
00:35:36,000 --> 00:35:39,360
Yes. Yes. Yes,
I believe I did, yes.
685
00:35:39,400 --> 00:35:40,920
I thought so.
686
00:35:41,000 --> 00:35:44,000
You'd have to look
a long way to find a chap
687
00:35:44,080 --> 00:35:48,360
who was more...
stimulated than I am, yes.
688
00:35:48,400 --> 00:35:50,320
Oh, dear me,
no, no, no.
689
00:35:50,400 --> 00:35:51,920
(screams)
690
00:35:51,960 --> 00:35:57,320
The last time I was bored -
and never by you,
my little armada...
691
00:35:57,400 --> 00:35:58,880
What was that?
Just making a point, dear.
692
00:35:58,920 --> 00:36:02,240
I mean, if I was bored
I'd go out and buy something,
wouldn't I?
693
00:36:02,280 --> 00:36:06,200
Like cheese or quails' eggs.
694
00:36:06,240 --> 00:36:09,040
Something like that.
Yes, I suppose you would.
695
00:36:09,080 --> 00:36:14,200
Yes, of course I would, dear.
That's the sort of spur-of-
the-moment fellow I am.
696
00:36:14,960 --> 00:36:16,520
What?
697
00:36:18,240 --> 00:36:19,880
What, dear?
698
00:36:19,920 --> 00:36:22,400
What would you buy
if you were bored?
699
00:36:22,960 --> 00:36:25,960
Ah! Uh...
700
00:36:28,440 --> 00:36:31,440
A jar of calf's-foot jelly?
701
00:36:34,960 --> 00:36:37,400
I'd like to come with you
and help you pick one out.
702
00:36:37,440 --> 00:36:38,800
Oh, that isn't necessary,
Dorcas.
703
00:36:38,880 --> 00:36:41,840
There's no need for
you to leave the house.
I wouldn't mind.
704
00:36:41,920 --> 00:36:44,320
Haven't been outside
for 12 years.
705
00:36:44,400 --> 00:36:47,000
Well, the weather's
been most disappointing.
706
00:36:47,080 --> 00:36:49,960
Still, there's no
reason for me
to stay here all the time.
707
00:36:50,000 --> 00:36:52,040
The children are gone,
the pets are dead,
708
00:36:52,120 --> 00:36:55,600
the butler's been discharged,
no one ever visits us.
709
00:37:09,640 --> 00:37:11,560
That was the
doorbell, Neville.
710
00:37:12,960 --> 00:37:17,040
So it was.
And the butler's dead?
711
00:37:17,120 --> 00:37:20,000
No, no, no.
712
00:37:20,080 --> 00:37:23,520
The pets are dead.
The butler's been discharged.
713
00:37:23,600 --> 00:37:25,880
Ah.
(bell)
714
00:37:27,000 --> 00:37:29,320
I think one of us
should answer it, Neville.
715
00:37:29,400 --> 00:37:31,280
Oh, do you?
716
00:37:31,360 --> 00:37:34,040
Or we could both answer it.
(laughs)
717
00:37:34,120 --> 00:37:37,360
Come, dear,
I hardly think it's
necessary for both of us to...
718
00:37:37,360 --> 00:37:40,000
I'll answer it!
719
00:37:45,360 --> 00:37:47,520
I thought you said
the pets were dead.
720
00:37:49,400 --> 00:37:52,120
Hello.
Uh...
721
00:37:52,200 --> 00:37:54,200
This is for you.
722
00:37:54,240 --> 00:37:56,880
Oh, thank you.
723
00:37:57,000 --> 00:37:58,880
Shall we go?
724
00:37:58,960 --> 00:38:02,160
You know, I've never
been inside a real ritzy
English house before.
725
00:38:04,320 --> 00:38:07,480
Aren't you hungry?
Sure, but we've
got a few minutes.
726
00:38:08,480 --> 00:38:11,720
OK. Let's take
a few minutes.
727
00:38:12,400 --> 00:38:15,200
Say, nice place
you got here.
728
00:38:15,280 --> 00:38:18,120
Yes. I practically stole it.
729
00:38:18,200 --> 00:38:20,080
Let me show you around.
730
00:38:20,160 --> 00:38:23,120
Who was that
guy back there?
731
00:38:23,200 --> 00:38:25,880
Oh. Just some
sort of servant.
732
00:38:25,960 --> 00:38:27,960
This, of course,
is the drawing room.
733
00:38:28,040 --> 00:38:30,080
Did you decorate
this place yourself?
734
00:38:32,080 --> 00:38:35,160
(Piggy)
I'll just close the door.
It's very drafty.
735
00:38:37,200 --> 00:38:40,320
There's a chair
and some walls.
736
00:38:40,400 --> 00:38:42,160
A whirlwind tour, huh?
Yes.
737
00:38:42,240 --> 00:38:46,360
This is the bedroom
and, uh... bath.
738
00:38:46,400 --> 00:38:49,600
We have hot and cold
running water.
739
00:38:49,600 --> 00:38:53,360
There's probably
a bathtub and everything.
740
00:38:56,480 --> 00:38:58,400
Oh, here.
I want to show you something.
741
00:38:58,520 --> 00:39:01,240
This is the closet.
742
00:39:01,280 --> 00:39:04,080
Nice.
Dark but nice.
743
00:39:04,120 --> 00:39:06,400
(laughs nervously)
744
00:39:10,320 --> 00:39:12,240
Ah. Sorry.
745
00:39:16,120 --> 00:39:20,080
Don't think me rude, but is
there, in fact, anything I can
do for you at all?
746
00:39:23,120 --> 00:39:25,120
Um...
747
00:39:26,120 --> 00:39:28,960
Yes. Yes, yes.
748
00:39:29,000 --> 00:39:31,840
You may suggest
a nice restaurant.
749
00:39:31,920 --> 00:39:34,280
Ah. Well, there's
the Dubonnet Club.
750
00:39:34,360 --> 00:39:37,640
Actually that's not so much a
restaurant, more
a supper club.
751
00:39:37,680 --> 00:39:38,960
Ah.
752
00:39:39,000 --> 00:39:41,000
Thank you, Jeeves.
753
00:39:41,080 --> 00:39:42,960
No time for cocktails.
754
00:39:43,040 --> 00:39:44,440
Evening.
755
00:39:51,320 --> 00:39:53,600
Why are you staring
into the closet, Neville?
756
00:39:53,640 --> 00:39:56,600
You recall that
pig I mentioned?
757
00:39:56,640 --> 00:39:59,120
The one that was climbing
up the side of the house?
758
00:39:59,160 --> 00:40:00,480
That's the chap.
That's the chap.
759
00:40:00,520 --> 00:40:01,840
Yes, I seem to recall that.
760
00:40:01,960 --> 00:40:03,320
Well, he was in
there just now,
761
00:40:03,400 --> 00:40:05,320
along with a...
a lizard.
762
00:40:05,360 --> 00:40:06,640
I see.
And what did they want?
763
00:40:06,720 --> 00:40:10,960
Name of a good restaurant.
I told them the Dubonnet Club.
764
00:40:11,000 --> 00:40:13,240
That's more of a supper club
than a restaurant.
765
00:40:13,320 --> 00:40:14,880
Yes, well, I tried
to tell them that.
766
00:40:14,960 --> 00:40:16,400
Don't blame yourself.
767
00:40:17,080 --> 00:40:19,680
No. No.
768
00:40:22,880 --> 00:40:25,360
Hey!
There they are!
769
00:40:26,320 --> 00:40:29,360
Kermit and his new flame.
Hubba hubba.
770
00:40:29,440 --> 00:40:31,200
Ding ding!
771
00:40:31,280 --> 00:40:32,680
(laughs nervously)
772
00:40:32,720 --> 00:40:35,520
You'll have to jump
in the front seat.
773
00:40:35,560 --> 00:40:37,720
The back seat's
been quarantined.
774
00:40:37,800 --> 00:40:39,680
(engine starts)
775
00:40:39,720 --> 00:40:42,960
(Floyd) Let's hit the road.
How about a little
traveling music?
776
00:40:43,040 --> 00:40:45,360
(Janice)For sure.
A love song.
777
00:40:45,440 --> 00:40:47,520
(Animal)
Love song, love song.
778
00:40:47,600 --> 00:40:49,600
(Floyd)Hit it!
779
00:40:49,680 --> 00:40:52,400
(♪"Night Life")
780
00:40:55,400 --> 00:40:58,640
(Dr. Teeth)
♪Give me my good friends
and play me my music
781
00:40:58,720 --> 00:41:02,480
♪Yeah, give me my night life
782
00:41:02,560 --> 00:41:05,440
♪Talk me that guitar
and roll me that boogie
783
00:41:05,520 --> 00:41:07,720
♪Yeah, give me my night life
784
00:41:10,240 --> 00:41:11,760
Are these your friends?
785
00:41:11,840 --> 00:41:13,960
Just the ones
on the fenders.
786
00:41:18,280 --> 00:41:22,400
♪Sing me the good times
'cause I need the feeling
787
00:41:22,440 --> 00:41:24,800
♪Yeah, give me that night life
788
00:41:32,440 --> 00:41:34,640
(horn)
789
00:41:37,760 --> 00:41:41,400
♪Give me my night life
790
00:41:41,520 --> 00:41:43,440
♪Whoo, yeah
791
00:41:45,360 --> 00:41:48,640
♪Give me my night life
792
00:41:50,840 --> 00:41:53,200
They don't have
to play this loud.
793
00:41:53,280 --> 00:41:55,360
That's OK.
They don't mind.
794
00:41:57,000 --> 00:42:00,800
♪Sing me the good times
'cause I need the feeling
795
00:42:00,880 --> 00:42:03,760
♪Give me my night life
796
00:42:06,640 --> 00:42:08,880
♪Give me my night life ♪
797
00:42:36,000 --> 00:42:39,360
Boy, a classy place like this
you'd think they'd have
pretzels on the table.
798
00:42:39,440 --> 00:42:41,800
(forced laugh)
799
00:42:42,800 --> 00:42:45,840
Well, what a delightful menu.
800
00:42:45,920 --> 00:42:47,840
(gasps)
What?
801
00:42:47,920 --> 00:42:50,200
Nothing. It's just
sort of amusing
802
00:42:50,280 --> 00:42:53,640
that the roast beef
is the same price
as an Oldsmobile.
803
00:42:54,920 --> 00:42:57,080
You come here often,
Lady Holiday?
804
00:42:57,160 --> 00:43:00,240
Oh, only on special occasions.
805
00:43:00,320 --> 00:43:03,160
And this is very
special, Kermie.
806
00:43:03,240 --> 00:43:05,840
Waiter!
Champagne, caviar.
807
00:43:05,920 --> 00:43:07,240
Hey, hey, Kermit.
808
00:43:07,320 --> 00:43:09,640
How are we gonna
pay for this?
809
00:43:09,680 --> 00:43:11,520
You got about
1600 bucks on you?
810
00:43:11,600 --> 00:43:14,560
Hey, relax, Kermit.
I'll take care of it.
811
00:43:19,480 --> 00:43:21,680
Say cheese!
812
00:43:21,760 --> 00:43:24,800
(laughs)There you go, folks.
Souvenir photograph.
813
00:43:24,880 --> 00:43:28,000
Just gimme your
name and address
and ten bucks.
814
00:43:34,640 --> 00:43:36,600
Good evening,
Lady Holiday.
815
00:43:36,720 --> 00:43:38,600
Such a pleasure to see you.
Thank you, Stanley.
816
00:43:38,720 --> 00:43:41,760
Why, what a lovely
diamond necklace.
817
00:43:41,840 --> 00:43:44,640
It is rather breathtaking,
isn't it?
818
00:43:44,720 --> 00:43:46,640
I thought it a little outré,
819
00:43:46,720 --> 00:43:48,280
but my brother Nicky
insisted that I wear it.
820
00:43:48,360 --> 00:43:49,920
Your table,
Lady Holiday.
821
00:43:50,000 --> 00:43:53,280
Thank you, Stanley.
Give Stanley a tip, Nicky.
822
00:43:53,360 --> 00:43:56,680
For complimenting you
on your necklace?
No, because it is customary.
823
00:43:56,720 --> 00:43:59,480
I don't have any change.
Then give him
something bigger.
824
00:43:59,560 --> 00:44:00,640
Bigger?
825
00:44:00,720 --> 00:44:02,320
I left my wallet at home.
826
00:44:02,400 --> 00:44:04,160
You left your
wallet in college.
827
00:44:04,240 --> 00:44:07,720
How about you, folks?
Souvenir photograph?
No thanks. No picture.
828
00:44:07,760 --> 00:44:10,800
Aw, come on. It'll be a great
memento for you and your wife.
829
00:44:10,880 --> 00:44:12,880
My wife isn't feeling
very well.
830
00:44:12,960 --> 00:44:15,560
That's too bad.
Maybe she should be at home.
831
00:44:15,600 --> 00:44:17,280
My wife is at home.
(babbles)
832
00:44:17,360 --> 00:44:20,280
Yes. Next table!
833
00:44:29,320 --> 00:44:32,400
That caviar was yummy. Mwah!
834
00:44:32,520 --> 00:44:34,240
Love those fish eggs!
835
00:44:34,320 --> 00:44:36,440
(laughs nervously)
836
00:44:36,520 --> 00:44:39,760
Uh, Lady Holiday?
Oh. Yes?
837
00:44:39,840 --> 00:44:42,280
Can we talk about
the jewel robbery now?
838
00:44:42,360 --> 00:44:44,840
Oh, Kermit.
Let us not talk business.
839
00:44:44,920 --> 00:44:48,200
Music is in the air,
the night is young,
840
00:44:48,280 --> 00:44:49,920
and I'm so beautiful.
841
00:44:50,000 --> 00:44:54,960
What jewel robbery?
Your jewels.
The ones that were stolen.
842
00:44:55,000 --> 00:44:58,480
You know,
you have lovely eyes.
843
00:45:08,640 --> 00:45:12,800
You know, if you put enough
sugar in this stuff it tastes
just like ginger ale.
844
00:45:15,360 --> 00:45:17,240
Catch you later,
Stanley.
845
00:45:18,320 --> 00:45:20,120
Aren't you happy
we're here?
846
00:45:20,240 --> 00:45:23,200
I have grave doubts about
wearing these jewels.
847
00:45:23,280 --> 00:45:25,600
I feel as if thieves were
breathing down my neck.
848
00:45:25,640 --> 00:45:27,400
Thieves aren't
breathing down your neck.
849
00:45:27,480 --> 00:45:29,040
I want to put
them in a safe.
No.
850
00:45:29,120 --> 00:45:30,360
Yes.
Yes, I meant yes.
851
00:45:30,440 --> 00:45:32,480
Why would I say no
when I meant yes?
852
00:45:32,560 --> 00:45:34,640
Go and see Stanley.
Go and see Stanley?
853
00:45:34,720 --> 00:45:36,480
Go and see Stanley
immediately.
854
00:45:36,560 --> 00:45:38,680
All right.
If that's what you want.
855
00:45:39,240 --> 00:45:40,840
And don't forget
to tip him.
856
00:45:40,920 --> 00:45:43,000
Tip. Tip.
857
00:46:39,720 --> 00:46:42,200
(♪"The First Time It Happens")
858
00:46:53,920 --> 00:46:57,560
♪The first time you see her
859
00:46:57,640 --> 00:47:01,720
♪No bolt from the blue
860
00:47:01,840 --> 00:47:04,600
♪Just something so quiet
861
00:47:04,720 --> 00:47:09,120
♪Yet waiting for you
862
00:47:09,200 --> 00:47:12,760
♪With no one to tell you
863
00:47:12,800 --> 00:47:16,120
♪That you've got to go
864
00:47:16,200 --> 00:47:20,480
♪The first time
it happens, you know
865
00:47:24,400 --> 00:47:26,920
♪The first time you see her
866
00:47:27,000 --> 00:47:31,720
♪No magical change
867
00:47:31,760 --> 00:47:34,760
♪No angels appearing
868
00:47:34,800 --> 00:47:38,840
♪No dreams to arrange
869
00:47:38,960 --> 00:47:42,000
♪Just warmer and colder
870
00:47:42,080 --> 00:47:45,760
♪Than springtime or snow
871
00:47:45,760 --> 00:47:50,440
♪The first time
it happens, you know
872
00:47:51,400 --> 00:47:56,280
♪And so you fall
873
00:47:56,320 --> 00:47:59,720
♪And how complete it is
874
00:47:59,800 --> 00:48:04,200
♪And for each moment
that it lasts
875
00:48:04,320 --> 00:48:07,800
♪How sweet it is
876
00:48:07,880 --> 00:48:11,320
♪The first time together
877
00:48:11,400 --> 00:48:15,040
♪How simple, how rare
878
00:48:15,160 --> 00:48:17,320
♪And just when you thought
879
00:48:17,360 --> 00:48:22,360
♪You'd forgot how to care
880
00:48:22,440 --> 00:48:25,320
♪And though you feel much more
881
00:48:25,360 --> 00:48:29,840
♪Than you dare to show
882
00:48:29,880 --> 00:48:35,680
♪The first time
it happens, you know
883
00:48:39,280 --> 00:48:41,880
Wow.
She's fantastic.
884
00:48:47,160 --> 00:48:50,720
♪The first time you see her
885
00:48:50,800 --> 00:48:54,160
♪No magical change
886
00:48:54,200 --> 00:48:57,400
♪No angels appearing
887
00:48:57,480 --> 00:49:00,840
♪No dreams to arrange
888
00:49:00,960 --> 00:49:03,200
♪Just warmer and colder
889
00:49:03,280 --> 00:49:07,880
♪Than springtime or snow
890
00:49:07,920 --> 00:49:11,320
♪The first time
it happens, you know
891
00:49:11,400 --> 00:49:13,000
What a great number!
892
00:49:19,680 --> 00:49:21,200
Nicky?
893
00:49:21,240 --> 00:49:23,360
That's my new receptionist
dancing out there.
894
00:49:23,440 --> 00:49:24,920
Which one?
The pig.
895
00:49:29,600 --> 00:49:31,400
She's sensational.
896
00:49:31,480 --> 00:49:34,080
45 words a minute.
About average.
897
00:49:47,400 --> 00:49:49,760
♪And just when you thought
898
00:49:49,880 --> 00:49:53,360
♪You'd forgot how to care
899
00:49:53,400 --> 00:49:55,920
♪For the first time
900
00:49:55,960 --> 00:49:58,680
♪For the first time
901
00:49:58,760 --> 00:50:00,360
(tap dances)
902
00:50:00,400 --> 00:50:02,800
A-ha!
903
00:50:13,360 --> 00:50:16,240
(laughs)
904
00:50:20,760 --> 00:50:23,840
♪The first time it happens
905
00:50:23,920 --> 00:50:27,000
♪The moment it happens
906
00:50:27,080 --> 00:50:29,240
♪Then suddenly
there's a whole new world
907
00:50:29,280 --> 00:50:32,280
♪The first time it happens
908
00:50:32,320 --> 00:50:36,240
♪The first time it happens
909
00:50:36,280 --> 00:50:42,320
♪The first time it happens
910
00:50:42,400 --> 00:50:44,840
♪You know ♪
911
00:50:58,160 --> 00:50:59,920
(man)Bravo!
(man #2)Bravo!
912
00:51:02,320 --> 00:51:04,960
(commotion)
913
00:51:07,280 --> 00:51:09,680
Aieee!
914
00:51:09,760 --> 00:51:11,920
Lady Holiday!
What's happened?
915
00:51:12,000 --> 00:51:14,440
Was it you that
screamed, "Aieee!"?
916
00:51:14,520 --> 00:51:16,720
She screamed
right into my ear.
Of course I screamed.
917
00:51:16,800 --> 00:51:18,240
Somebody's just
stolen my necklace.
918
00:51:18,320 --> 00:51:21,000
I told you this would
happen. That necklace
was worth a fortune.
919
00:51:21,080 --> 00:51:22,920
Do something.
What do you
want me to do?
920
00:51:23,000 --> 00:51:25,360
I spilled ketchup
all over my cummerbund.
921
00:51:25,440 --> 00:51:27,920
For God's sake.
Straighten that tie.
922
00:51:28,000 --> 00:51:30,280
It's Lady Holiday,
her necklace,
it's been stolen.
923
00:51:32,000 --> 00:51:34,720
"Lady Holiday"?
But I thought...
924
00:51:35,760 --> 00:51:38,560
Kermit. I think I've got
a picture of the thief.
925
00:51:39,040 --> 00:51:41,120
Oh, great.
Yeah!
926
00:51:41,360 --> 00:51:43,040
But...
927
00:52:02,280 --> 00:52:05,160
(cat screeches)
928
00:52:14,720 --> 00:52:16,920
This is great, Gonzo.
929
00:52:17,000 --> 00:52:20,280
You popped the
flash just before
the soup landed on his tie.
930
00:52:20,360 --> 00:52:22,720
Yeah, well,
photography's an art.
931
00:52:22,800 --> 00:52:24,000
You gotta have
the right film,
932
00:52:24,080 --> 00:52:25,840
you gotta have
the right exposure,
933
00:52:25,880 --> 00:52:28,720
and you gotta scream
just before they get
the food to their mouth.
934
00:52:28,800 --> 00:52:29,680
(bang on door)
935
00:52:29,720 --> 00:52:31,680
(Pops)
What's going on in there?
936
00:52:31,720 --> 00:52:33,720
Lot of folks out here
want to use the rest room.
937
00:52:33,840 --> 00:52:36,080
Well, we're developing
these pictures. We'll be
out as soon as we finish.
938
00:52:36,120 --> 00:52:39,360
We're trying to catch
a jewel thief.
A jewel thief.
939
00:52:39,400 --> 00:52:41,120
(Pops)Well, catch
him in another room.
940
00:52:41,200 --> 00:52:44,760
People are dancing up and down
on one leg out here.
941
00:52:44,840 --> 00:52:46,200
Hurry, Gonzo. There's gotta
be a picture of somebody
942
00:52:46,240 --> 00:52:48,960
taking Lady
Holiday's necklace.
943
00:52:49,040 --> 00:52:52,680
Well, I don't know.
I still think
that pig took it.
944
00:52:52,760 --> 00:52:55,720
She wouldn't steal.
Why not? She lied.
945
00:52:55,760 --> 00:52:56,960
That's two different things.
946
00:52:57,040 --> 00:52:58,680
Besides, she couldn't
have stolen the necklace
947
00:52:58,760 --> 00:53:00,920
because she was dancing.
(banging on the door)
948
00:53:00,960 --> 00:53:02,920
That's right.
There's that old adage:
949
00:53:02,960 --> 00:53:05,840
you can't dance and steal
at the same time.
950
00:53:05,920 --> 00:53:08,880
No, that's "You can't walk
and chew gum
at the same time."
951
00:53:08,960 --> 00:53:10,960
Oh, no. I think it's
"You can't pat your head
952
00:53:11,080 --> 00:53:12,960
and rub your stomach
at the same time."
953
00:53:13,040 --> 00:53:14,880
What's the difference?
She didn't steal the necklace.
954
00:53:14,960 --> 00:53:16,400
I bet you I can do it.
Do what?
955
00:53:16,440 --> 00:53:18,880
Pat my head and rub my stomach
at the same time.
956
00:53:18,960 --> 00:53:21,880
Big deal,
anybody can do that.
957
00:53:23,000 --> 00:53:25,720
Would you guys cut it out?
We're wasting time.
958
00:53:25,800 --> 00:53:27,360
(banging on door and shouting)
959
00:53:30,280 --> 00:53:33,160
Hey, here it is.
What? What?
What? What?
960
00:53:33,240 --> 00:53:35,960
Look at that.
It's that guy sitting
next to Lady Holiday
961
00:53:36,040 --> 00:53:38,960
and those girls
standing in the back.
962
00:53:39,000 --> 00:53:40,960
It's probably the same gang
that pulled that first job.
Wow!
963
00:53:41,000 --> 00:53:43,480
Yes, and we got
them with their hands
in the cookie jar.
964
00:53:45,120 --> 00:53:47,160
What's going on?
965
00:53:47,200 --> 00:53:49,720
(Floyd)What is this, anyway?
966
00:53:49,800 --> 00:53:51,200
Aw.
967
00:53:52,400 --> 00:53:55,280
The cookie jar
just busted.
968
00:54:04,200 --> 00:54:06,120
Look, Dad.
There's a bear.
969
00:54:06,200 --> 00:54:08,120
No, Christine,
that's a frog.
970
00:54:08,200 --> 00:54:09,840
Bears wear hats.
971
00:54:13,000 --> 00:54:15,040
(sighs)
972
00:54:16,400 --> 00:54:18,760
(footsteps)
973
00:54:20,120 --> 00:54:22,040
How you doing,
young fella?
974
00:54:22,120 --> 00:54:25,200
OK, I guess.
975
00:54:25,240 --> 00:54:27,480
Penny for your thoughts.
976
00:54:28,080 --> 00:54:30,920
Well, it's a long story.
977
00:54:31,120 --> 00:54:34,320
But a familiar one,
I bet.
Mm.
978
00:54:34,760 --> 00:54:36,680
Older than the hills.
979
00:54:36,720 --> 00:54:38,640
I've been there,
my friend.
980
00:54:38,720 --> 00:54:40,880
I've been there
and back.
981
00:54:40,960 --> 00:54:42,920
You know, I see the way
you're sitting here
982
00:54:43,000 --> 00:54:46,800
and I see the way you've
got your hand around that
little shoe,
983
00:54:46,880 --> 00:54:49,160
and that's all I need.
I know your whole story.
984
00:54:49,200 --> 00:54:51,000
You do?
985
00:54:51,080 --> 00:54:52,760
Absolutely.
986
00:54:52,840 --> 00:54:54,720
I know exactly
what happened to you.
987
00:54:55,280 --> 00:54:56,680
What?
988
00:54:56,760 --> 00:54:58,720
Well, I tell you, friend.
989
00:54:58,760 --> 00:55:02,200
What happened was you and your
brother-in-law Bernie,
990
00:55:02,240 --> 00:55:04,880
you cashed in your
stock certificates
991
00:55:04,920 --> 00:55:06,320
and your insurance policy
992
00:55:06,400 --> 00:55:10,280
and you went out and bought
a dry-cleaning establishment.
993
00:55:10,360 --> 00:55:12,880
Now another place
opens up down the street
994
00:55:12,920 --> 00:55:14,720
and it's charging less.
995
00:55:14,800 --> 00:55:17,400
And they're getting
the stuff out faster
because they got more help.
996
00:55:17,480 --> 00:55:19,920
It's not your fault.
Right?
997
00:55:20,000 --> 00:55:23,360
All right. So Bernie
comes to you, he says:
998
00:55:23,400 --> 00:55:25,040
"I want you to buy me out."
999
00:55:25,080 --> 00:55:26,440
He says he's fed up.
1000
00:55:26,520 --> 00:55:28,920
Well, your kids
are growing up,
you never see 'em
1001
00:55:28,960 --> 00:55:32,800
and all of a sudden,
they're turning into
juvenile delinquents
1002
00:55:32,880 --> 00:55:33,960
and your wife
is saying to you:
1003
00:55:34,040 --> 00:55:36,160
"Listen, you care more
about this lousy business
1004
00:55:36,240 --> 00:55:37,760
than you care about me."
1005
00:55:37,840 --> 00:55:39,880
And the equipment
breaks down
1006
00:55:39,960 --> 00:55:41,800
and your sister
moves in with you
1007
00:55:41,880 --> 00:55:44,120
because that jerk Bernie,
he went and joined the circus.
1008
00:55:44,200 --> 00:55:46,680
Well, you had it
up to here, right?
1009
00:55:46,760 --> 00:55:48,880
You didn't know
what to do.
1010
00:55:48,960 --> 00:55:50,680
So what did you do?
1011
00:55:50,760 --> 00:55:53,120
You did the only
thing you could do.
1012
00:55:53,200 --> 00:55:55,200
You dumped the business
for a song.
1013
00:55:55,280 --> 00:55:57,280
And who did
you sell it to?
Who?
1014
00:55:57,360 --> 00:55:59,720
You sold it to that
jerk down the street,
1015
00:55:59,760 --> 00:56:02,120
that slob that had been
burying you for a year.
1016
00:56:02,200 --> 00:56:04,600
Then you took whatever
money you had left
1017
00:56:04,640 --> 00:56:07,000
and you sunk it into
the glass slipper business.
1018
00:56:07,080 --> 00:56:09,960
That's your story,
my friend.
1019
00:56:10,040 --> 00:56:12,320
Not a happy one,
is it?
1020
00:56:14,360 --> 00:56:16,880
You know, it's amazing.
You are 100 percent wrong.
1021
00:56:16,960 --> 00:56:20,280
I mean, nothing you've
said has been right.
1022
00:56:20,320 --> 00:56:22,720
Oh, yeah?
1023
00:56:24,080 --> 00:56:26,960
Well, how about this...?
1024
00:56:27,000 --> 00:56:30,040
I hate to be rude,
but we're trying
to do a movie here.
1025
00:56:30,160 --> 00:56:33,120
Oh, yeah?
Mm-hm.
1026
00:56:33,120 --> 00:56:36,160
Oh, I didn't know that.
Gee, I'm sorry.
1027
00:56:36,240 --> 00:56:39,360
Listen, one thing, son.
1028
00:56:39,440 --> 00:56:42,800
Would you like
to buy a watch?
1029
00:56:42,880 --> 00:56:45,440
No.
1030
00:56:49,000 --> 00:56:50,040
Movie stars.
1031
00:56:53,360 --> 00:56:56,400
(Piggy)Get your
filthy hands off me!
(splash)
1032
00:56:56,480 --> 00:56:59,200
I beg your pardon,
young lady!
1033
00:56:59,280 --> 00:57:01,960
Just keep your hands
to yourself, turkey.
1034
00:57:02,040 --> 00:57:05,280
Hey, you.
(gasps)
1035
00:57:05,360 --> 00:57:08,440
Well, well, well.
If it isn't the fake
Lady Holiday.
1036
00:57:09,640 --> 00:57:11,560
Hello.
1037
00:57:11,640 --> 00:57:15,240
"Hello"? Last night you
never even said goodbye.
1038
00:57:15,320 --> 00:57:18,880
Kermit, that was
just silliness.
1039
00:57:18,960 --> 00:57:21,560
But you lied to me.
You used me.
1040
00:57:23,000 --> 00:57:26,040
Oh, Kermit, please,
let me explain. Kermit.
1041
00:57:26,080 --> 00:57:29,600
My name is Miss Piggy.
I am a model.
Yeah.
1042
00:57:29,680 --> 00:57:33,040
I only lied because
I wanted to be with you.
1043
00:57:33,120 --> 00:57:36,240
Yeah, well,
I saw the way you were dancing
with that guy last night.
1044
00:57:36,320 --> 00:57:38,880
Oh, Kermit.
Well, lemme tell
you something.
1045
00:57:38,960 --> 00:57:41,160
Your dancing partner
happens to be a jewel thief.
1046
00:57:41,240 --> 00:57:42,840
What do you think of that?
1047
00:57:44,400 --> 00:57:47,920
You're jealous.
I am not.
1048
00:57:48,000 --> 00:57:50,040
You are. You are,
you are, you are, you are.
1049
00:57:50,120 --> 00:57:52,520
(exasperated sigh)
1050
00:57:52,560 --> 00:57:55,440
Kermit, I'm sorry.
Please don't go, Kermit.
Please.
1051
00:57:55,520 --> 00:57:57,040
Please don't go.
Kermit, please.
1052
00:57:57,160 --> 00:57:58,240
Oh, please,
I'm sorry. Please.
1053
00:57:58,320 --> 00:57:59,880
Piggy.
Piggy, hold it.
Please, please, please.
1054
00:58:00,000 --> 00:58:03,400
Piggy. Piggy?
Please, please, please.
1055
00:58:03,440 --> 00:58:05,680
You're overacting.
What?
1056
00:58:05,760 --> 00:58:08,080
You're overacting.
You're hamming it up.
1057
00:58:08,240 --> 00:58:11,000
I am not. I am trying
to save this movie.
1058
00:58:11,080 --> 00:58:13,200
Oh, yeah? Well, save your
performance instead.
1059
00:58:13,280 --> 00:58:15,520
I am playing 800
different emotions.
1060
00:58:15,600 --> 00:58:17,160
Well, try to play
one of them right.
1061
00:58:17,240 --> 00:58:19,320
Oh, oh! I have
a career of my own.
1062
00:58:19,360 --> 00:58:21,240
I know all about
your career, Pig.
1063
00:58:21,320 --> 00:58:23,000
I don't need this
lousy duck pond here.
1064
00:58:23,080 --> 00:58:24,840
Sure you don't need
a lousy duck pond.
I'll just walk.
1065
00:58:24,920 --> 00:58:26,840
OK, sure. Go ahead, walk. OK?
Should I walk?
Then I'll walk.
1066
00:58:26,920 --> 00:58:29,000
Walk! Go ahead and walk.
1067
00:58:29,400 --> 00:58:31,040
(whimpers)
1068
00:58:31,080 --> 00:58:33,200
Oh, Piggy.
1069
00:58:34,560 --> 00:58:37,120
Listen.
I'm doing my best.
1070
00:58:37,200 --> 00:58:39,040
I know you are.
1071
00:58:39,160 --> 00:58:44,160
Piggy, I'm sorry.
We gotta get back
to the movie though.
1072
00:58:44,240 --> 00:58:47,080
All right. All right,
all right, all right.
1073
00:58:47,160 --> 00:58:48,560
(sighs)
1074
00:58:48,600 --> 00:58:51,920
Kermit, I'm sorry I left you
last night at the nightclub.
1075
00:58:52,000 --> 00:58:55,200
Well, that's OK, Piggy.
1076
00:58:55,920 --> 00:58:59,400
Oh, Kermie.
Oh, Piggy.
1077
00:59:00,480 --> 00:59:02,720
(♪"Couldn't We Ride?")
1078
00:59:15,200 --> 00:59:18,680
♪Pretty day, sunny sky
1079
00:59:18,760 --> 00:59:22,600
♪Lovely pictures
dance in your eye
1080
00:59:22,680 --> 00:59:25,120
♪It all seems so right
1081
00:59:25,200 --> 00:59:29,680
♪It all feels so rare
1082
00:59:32,120 --> 00:59:35,600
♪Summer soft sudden breeze
1083
00:59:35,640 --> 00:59:40,000
♪Watch the wind
play tag in the trees
1084
00:59:40,080 --> 00:59:43,400
♪The world is so bright
1085
00:59:43,440 --> 00:59:48,160
♪So perfectly fair
1086
00:59:48,240 --> 00:59:52,600
♪Lovers sing, children dance
1087
00:59:52,640 --> 00:59:56,320
♪For a minute,
we've got a chance
1088
00:59:56,360 --> 01:00:00,480
♪Why couldn't we fly?
1089
01:00:00,520 --> 01:00:05,360
♪I know we'd get by
1090
01:00:05,440 --> 01:00:07,560
♪Couldn't we fly?
1091
01:00:13,440 --> 01:00:17,200
♪Sunny sky, pretty day
1092
01:00:17,280 --> 01:00:21,200
♪Just a push
and we're on the way
1093
01:00:21,280 --> 01:00:25,080
♪Yes, couldn't we ride
1094
01:00:25,160 --> 01:00:29,200
♪Side by side?
1095
01:00:34,640 --> 01:00:36,560
Whoa!
1096
01:00:42,000 --> 01:00:44,360
Whoa!
1097
01:00:44,680 --> 01:00:48,680
"Look, Ma, no brains."
1098
01:00:48,760 --> 01:00:52,360
Hup. Whoo, Miss Piggy.
1099
01:00:53,680 --> 01:00:56,560
Whoa!
1100
01:00:56,640 --> 01:00:58,200
Wah! Oof!
1101
01:00:58,240 --> 01:00:59,960
(crash)
1102
01:01:18,080 --> 01:01:21,720
♪Why couldn't we fly?
1103
01:01:21,800 --> 01:01:26,560
♪I know we'd get by
1104
01:01:26,640 --> 01:01:31,400
♪Sunny sky
♪Pretty day
1105
01:01:31,480 --> 01:01:35,080
♪Just a push
and we're on the way
1106
01:01:35,120 --> 01:01:38,600
♪Yes, couldn't we ride
1107
01:01:38,680 --> 01:01:43,000
♪Side by side?
1108
01:01:43,080 --> 01:01:46,560
♪Couldn't we ride? ♪
1109
01:02:04,840 --> 01:02:08,360
Gangway! Watch it.
Coming through.
1110
01:02:08,440 --> 01:02:10,880
She's wonderful.
She's so wonderful.
1111
01:02:10,920 --> 01:02:14,280
She certainly seems to know
where she's going. It's time.
1112
01:02:15,840 --> 01:02:18,320
All right, everybody.
Keep it moving. Don't linger.
1113
01:02:18,400 --> 01:02:20,800
We just want to give them
a hint, a taste, a soupçon.
1114
01:02:20,880 --> 01:02:22,640
Appetizers
not four-course meals.
1115
01:02:22,720 --> 01:02:25,280
Marie. I don't think
we should chew gum.
1116
01:02:25,320 --> 01:02:28,560
Stephanie, those
false eyelashes
are coming unglued.
1117
01:02:28,640 --> 01:02:30,480
Those shoes are scuffed.
1118
01:02:30,600 --> 01:02:33,240
I know where they are.
I'll get them...
Sorry.
1119
01:02:33,280 --> 01:02:36,400
Watch it, buster.
Oh. Mr. Holiday, I'm sorry.
1120
01:02:36,480 --> 01:02:37,720
Hello.
1121
01:02:38,080 --> 01:02:40,040
Miss...
Piggy.
1122
01:02:40,120 --> 01:02:41,400
Miss Piggy?
Right.
1123
01:02:41,480 --> 01:02:42,680
Of course.
1124
01:02:42,760 --> 01:02:45,680
Have dinner
with me tonight.
1125
01:02:45,760 --> 01:02:48,920
Mr. Holiday, really,
I'm very busy.
1126
01:02:48,960 --> 01:02:52,000
Could we meet
just for a moment?
Underwear, underwear, underwear.
1127
01:02:52,000 --> 01:02:54,360
Just one brief moment,
Miss Piggy. Miss...
1128
01:02:54,560 --> 01:02:58,240
Hm?
Miss Piggy.
1129
01:02:58,320 --> 01:03:01,280
You're a very
different-looking woman.
1130
01:03:01,320 --> 01:03:04,960
I'm so tired of the same type.
Those tall, thin creatures
1131
01:03:05,040 --> 01:03:08,280
with the long legs,
the aquiline noses,
1132
01:03:08,320 --> 01:03:11,840
the teeth like pearls,
soft skin.
1133
01:03:11,920 --> 01:03:15,760
Yeah, well, I can see
why that might make you
sick to your stomach.
1134
01:03:15,840 --> 01:03:17,680
Please now...
Please...
Miss Piggy.
1135
01:03:17,720 --> 01:03:21,640
No! Please!
No. Please, please.
1136
01:03:21,680 --> 01:03:26,280
Don't put a door
between us.
(Kermit clears throat)
1137
01:03:26,360 --> 01:03:27,520
Hi.
Oh, Kermit.
1138
01:03:27,600 --> 01:03:31,320
I was looking
for the men's room.
1139
01:03:31,360 --> 01:03:34,520
Kermit, I just want
you to meet someone.
This is Nicky Holiday.
1140
01:03:34,560 --> 01:03:37,760
Mr. Holiday, this is Kermit,
my special friend.
1141
01:03:38,280 --> 01:03:39,960
Oh.
1142
01:03:41,320 --> 01:03:43,880
Nice to meet you.
1143
01:03:43,920 --> 01:03:46,200
Well, excuse me.
1144
01:03:48,440 --> 01:03:51,520
Need I say more?
He's a frog, isn't he?
1145
01:03:52,280 --> 01:03:53,400
Yes.
1146
01:03:56,920 --> 01:03:58,400
Miss Piggy.
1147
01:04:00,560 --> 01:04:03,560
We could've had something
very, very special.
1148
01:04:04,880 --> 01:04:07,880
Now, I can't be responsible
for what might happen.
1149
01:04:08,680 --> 01:04:11,360
Yeah, well, uh...
1150
01:04:11,400 --> 01:04:12,840
C'est la vie.
1151
01:04:14,800 --> 01:04:17,480
I don't know why you
love her like you do.
1152
01:04:17,560 --> 01:04:19,840
I don't know why.
I just do.
1153
01:04:19,920 --> 01:04:21,040
(sighs)
1154
01:04:21,080 --> 01:04:23,160
Well, you'd better
snap out of it, and fast.
1155
01:04:23,240 --> 01:04:24,720
We've got to plant the goods
on her to take
the heat off us.
1156
01:04:24,800 --> 01:04:27,880
I know the plan. I just
wish there was another way.
1157
01:04:27,920 --> 01:04:31,200
It's the only way.
Especially now the cops are
starting to ask questions.
1158
01:04:31,240 --> 01:04:35,160
OK, I'll do my job.
When I give the signal,
you do yours.
1159
01:04:35,240 --> 01:04:37,760
Forgive me, Miss Piggy.
1160
01:04:40,560 --> 01:04:43,600
Am I dressed
right for this?
You look fine, Fozzie.
1161
01:04:43,680 --> 01:04:44,800
Thank you.
1162
01:04:45,800 --> 01:04:49,640
(Lady Holiday)And now,
without further ado,
1163
01:04:49,720 --> 01:04:52,800
roses, hyacinths,
1164
01:04:52,880 --> 01:04:55,840
lilacs and bluebells
1165
01:04:55,920 --> 01:05:00,280
make up our first
fashion bouquet.
Ooh!
1166
01:05:00,320 --> 01:05:02,360
Pretty nice lines, huh?
1167
01:05:02,440 --> 01:05:05,120
Yes and the dresses
aren't bad either.
1168
01:05:05,160 --> 01:05:07,120
Here's capricious Carla,
1169
01:05:07,200 --> 01:05:11,160
a dream in
hyacinth-blue chiffon
1170
01:05:11,240 --> 01:05:15,840
with the classic allure
of the white pleated collar
and cuffs.
1171
01:05:15,920 --> 01:05:18,480
The skirt,
a flutter of godets,
1172
01:05:18,600 --> 01:05:21,720
all complemented
by the cloudy folds of blue
1173
01:05:21,800 --> 01:05:26,160
forming the perfect
flower-framing hat.
1174
01:05:26,240 --> 01:05:28,720
Fantastique.
And thank you, Carla.
1175
01:05:28,800 --> 01:05:32,720
Pretty good-looking duds.
I found the white pleated
collar alluring,
1176
01:05:32,800 --> 01:05:36,840
but I was rather taken aback
by the flutter of godets.
1177
01:05:36,920 --> 01:05:38,280
Mm-hm.
1178
01:05:39,040 --> 01:05:43,160
And now here's delicious Darla
1179
01:05:43,240 --> 01:05:44,880
in a swirl of apricot silk
1180
01:05:45,000 --> 01:05:50,000
above a tight bodice
with a cleverly-draped
décolletage.
1181
01:05:50,080 --> 01:05:55,440
Finishing with roses to
match the confection of
flowers and silk on her head,
1182
01:05:55,480 --> 01:05:58,680
forming a teeny-weeny hat.
1183
01:06:04,480 --> 01:06:07,520
Oh. Ow! My knee.
I think I've twisted it.
1184
01:06:07,560 --> 01:06:09,840
You all right?
You've got to get up!
You've got to go on!
1185
01:06:09,880 --> 01:06:12,440
I can't go on!
1186
01:06:12,520 --> 01:06:14,680
Oh! You poor thing.
1187
01:06:14,760 --> 01:06:18,640
Oh, don't worry, Marla.
I'll stay right here with you.
1188
01:06:18,680 --> 01:06:22,800
You can't. You've got
to go on in her place.
1189
01:06:22,840 --> 01:06:24,680
(thud)
1190
01:06:25,400 --> 01:06:30,080
And now, the Lady Holiday
swimwear collection.
1191
01:06:30,160 --> 01:06:33,400
Hey, Waldorf, wake up.
Here come the bikinis.
1192
01:06:33,480 --> 01:06:36,480
Oh, boy. We'd better
synchronize our pacemakers.
1193
01:06:36,560 --> 01:06:41,880
A cloud of lavender
starburst pleating
surrounds our next model.
1194
01:06:42,920 --> 01:06:46,080
(gasps of delight
and applause)
(man)Oh, I say!
1195
01:07:16,640 --> 01:07:18,800
(♪"Piggy's Fantasy")
1196
01:07:43,800 --> 01:07:47,080
♪A miracle of spring
1197
01:07:47,160 --> 01:07:50,080
♪A miracle of beauty
1198
01:07:50,160 --> 01:07:56,640
♪Be dazzled by
the magic of one smile
1199
01:07:56,720 --> 01:07:59,840
♪A vision of loveliness
1200
01:07:59,880 --> 01:08:02,000
♪A universe of charms
1201
01:08:02,040 --> 01:08:07,000
♪We'll never rest
until you're in our arms
1202
01:08:16,840 --> 01:08:19,120
(Nicky) ♪Daffodils, Miss Piggy
1203
01:08:19,200 --> 01:08:23,520
♪Whippoorwills, Miss Piggy
1204
01:08:23,600 --> 01:08:30,200
♪Everything that's lovely,
warm and spring, Miss Piggy
1205
01:08:30,280 --> 01:08:33,960
♪Fantasy, Miss Piggy
1206
01:08:34,040 --> 01:08:37,000
♪Ecstasy, Miss Piggy
1207
01:08:37,040 --> 01:08:40,160
♪All that's fair
or fine or wonderful
1208
01:08:40,200 --> 01:08:43,760
♪Or anything, Miss Piggy
1209
01:08:43,840 --> 01:08:49,760
♪Where does the rapture
begin and grow?
1210
01:08:49,840 --> 01:08:56,120
♪Where does
devotion and passion go?
1211
01:08:56,240 --> 01:09:00,680
♪Happiness, Miss Piggy
1212
01:09:00,720 --> 01:09:02,880
♪One caress, Miss Piggy
1213
01:09:02,960 --> 01:09:08,240
♪All the world's
ever wanted was you
1214
01:09:08,280 --> 01:09:11,200
♪A dream come true
1215
01:09:11,240 --> 01:09:15,600
♪Oh, Miss Piggy, it's you
1216
01:09:30,680 --> 01:09:37,280
♪Where does the rapture
begin and grow?
1217
01:09:37,360 --> 01:09:42,080
♪Where does devotion
and passion go?
1218
01:09:44,680 --> 01:09:48,080
♪Happiness, Miss Piggy
1219
01:09:48,120 --> 01:09:51,280
♪One caress, Miss Piggy
1220
01:09:51,320 --> 01:09:55,920
♪All the world's
ever wanted was you
1221
01:09:55,960 --> 01:09:58,640
♪A dream come true
1222
01:10:08,120 --> 01:10:13,520
♪Oh, Miss Piggy, it's you
1223
01:10:13,600 --> 01:10:15,240
♪It's you
1224
01:10:15,280 --> 01:10:17,280
♪It's you ♪
1225
01:10:23,800 --> 01:10:26,680
(splash)
1226
01:10:34,640 --> 01:10:36,960
Oh, Miss Piggy,
are you OK?
1227
01:10:37,000 --> 01:10:42,320
Yeah, sure. I was just
looking for my contact lens.
1228
01:10:49,680 --> 01:10:52,800
Excuse me.
Excuse me.
(Piggy sneezes)
1229
01:10:52,840 --> 01:10:55,920
(Kermit)Oh, dear.
Oh, you poor thing.
1230
01:10:56,000 --> 01:10:58,560
Excuse me.
Here, put this on.
1231
01:10:58,640 --> 01:11:00,560
You'll get a chill.
Thank you very much.
1232
01:11:00,640 --> 01:11:02,440
You all right?
I don't know what happened.
1233
01:11:02,520 --> 01:11:03,880
I must've tripped.
1234
01:11:03,960 --> 01:11:06,800
Wait a minute.
What's this?
1235
01:11:06,840 --> 01:11:09,680
I don't think
these belong to me.
1236
01:11:09,720 --> 01:11:14,200
Do you recognize this?
1237
01:11:14,240 --> 01:11:17,440
That was my necklace.
But... where are the diamonds?
1238
01:11:17,520 --> 01:11:21,440
Where are the diamonds?
Miss Piggy stole my necklace.
1239
01:11:21,520 --> 01:11:22,600
(gasps)
1240
01:11:22,680 --> 01:11:24,200
Miss Piggy, how could you?
1241
01:11:24,240 --> 01:11:25,600
No! No! I don't know
anything about it!
1242
01:11:25,680 --> 01:11:29,720
Somebody
must've put it... You!
1243
01:11:29,760 --> 01:11:31,720
It was you!
Kermit was right there!
Oh, no, no, no!
1244
01:11:31,800 --> 01:11:35,560
You're a phony!
Yes you are.
1245
01:11:35,640 --> 01:11:36,720
And you know what?
1246
01:11:36,760 --> 01:11:39,720
You can't even sing!
Your voice was dubbed.
1247
01:11:39,760 --> 01:11:41,560
Watch out, guys. Kermit!
1248
01:11:41,600 --> 01:11:44,760
Don't worry, Miss Piggy.
We'll get you out of this.
1249
01:11:44,840 --> 01:11:48,320
It just goes to show
you can't trust anybody.
1250
01:11:48,400 --> 01:11:50,320
Excuse me, Lady Holiday, will
you be hiring any more pigs?
1251
01:11:50,400 --> 01:11:52,840
Well, I shall certainly
think twice about it.
1252
01:11:52,920 --> 01:11:56,960
Kermit, find out if they'll
let me keep the costumes.
1253
01:11:57,040 --> 01:12:00,240
What about your most
famous piece of jewelry,
the fabulous Baseball Diamond?
1254
01:12:00,320 --> 01:12:02,560
As from Monday,
the fabulous Baseball Diamond
1255
01:12:02,640 --> 01:12:05,520
will go on permanent display
at the Mallory Gallery.
1256
01:12:05,560 --> 01:12:07,560
I shall never have it
either on my person
1257
01:12:07,680 --> 01:12:09,840
or in my possession again.
1258
01:12:10,040 --> 01:12:12,200
That's right.
It'll be in our possession.
1259
01:12:12,240 --> 01:12:14,320
Tuesday at midnight
we'll go to the
Mallory Gallery.
1260
01:12:14,400 --> 01:12:16,400
The Baseball Diamond
will be ours.
1261
01:12:19,520 --> 01:12:21,480
(Gonzo) So there I was,
backstage under a table.
1262
01:12:21,560 --> 01:12:26,360
I was doing a little
photographic essay
on kneecaps,
1263
01:12:26,440 --> 01:12:29,760
and I heard 'em planning to
steal the Baseball Diamond.
1264
01:12:29,800 --> 01:12:30,840
(Janice)Bummer.
(all gasp)
1265
01:12:30,920 --> 01:12:33,720
So what's the plan, man?
I already told you.
1266
01:12:33,760 --> 01:12:35,880
Tuesday, midnight,
at the Mallory Gallery.
1267
01:12:36,000 --> 01:12:37,680
That's all I know.
1268
01:12:37,760 --> 01:12:40,120
You mean they're really gonna
try to steal the diamond?
1269
01:12:40,200 --> 01:12:41,680
(all talk at once)
1270
01:12:48,800 --> 01:12:50,640
Quiet!
(all fall silent
except Janice)
1271
01:12:50,760 --> 01:12:53,200
"Look, Mother,
it's my life, OK?
1272
01:12:53,280 --> 01:12:56,320
So if I want to
live on a beach
and walk around naked..."
1273
01:12:57,320 --> 01:12:58,200
Oh.
1274
01:12:58,400 --> 01:13:01,120
Now, if we wanna get
Miss Piggy out of jail,
1275
01:13:01,200 --> 01:13:03,360
we're gonna have to catch
those thieves red-handed.
1276
01:13:03,440 --> 01:13:05,000
Yes, Beau?
1277
01:13:05,080 --> 01:13:08,480
What color are
their hands now?
(everyone groans)
1278
01:13:08,560 --> 01:13:12,080
Now, we're about to embark
on a potentially dangerous
mission.
1279
01:13:12,160 --> 01:13:15,280
There could be physical
violence, there could be
gunplay,
1280
01:13:15,360 --> 01:13:18,240
and there's a slightest
chance that somebody might
even get killed.
1281
01:13:18,320 --> 01:13:21,280
So if anybody wants out,
now is the time to say it.
1282
01:13:21,360 --> 01:13:23,400
I'm out.
Me too.
1283
01:13:23,480 --> 01:13:24,640
Ditto.
Meep.
1284
01:13:24,720 --> 01:13:28,600
Don't we have a
gig around here,
or something or somewhere?
1285
01:13:28,720 --> 01:13:31,120
Yeah, sorry.
I got a dental appointment.
1286
01:13:31,160 --> 01:13:33,440
It's like this, Kermit.
I have to go to work all day.
1287
01:13:33,480 --> 01:13:35,360
(all talk at once)
1288
01:13:35,440 --> 01:13:37,640
Hold it!
1289
01:13:41,280 --> 01:13:44,640
Shame on you.
1290
01:13:45,400 --> 01:13:48,240
I thought we were
in this thing together.
1291
01:13:48,560 --> 01:13:53,280
I'm just as scared as you are,
but this has to be done.
1292
01:13:54,040 --> 01:13:57,920
We don't want
the bad guys to win.
1293
01:13:58,320 --> 01:14:02,160
We've got to do this for...
for... for justice.
1294
01:14:02,240 --> 01:14:03,600
For... freedom.
1295
01:14:03,640 --> 01:14:06,040
For... honesty.
1296
01:14:07,560 --> 01:14:10,520
Boy, do I feel ashamed.
1297
01:14:10,600 --> 01:14:13,280
Me too. I feel
like two cents.
1298
01:14:14,640 --> 01:14:17,280
I'm back in.
You can count on me.
1299
01:14:17,320 --> 01:14:19,200
Oh, hey, I was only joking.
1300
01:14:19,280 --> 01:14:22,720
Yeah, it'll be a lot of fun
to go out there
and risk our lives.
1301
01:14:22,800 --> 01:14:25,000
Yeah!
All for one
and one for all.
1302
01:14:25,080 --> 01:14:25,880
Yeah!
1303
01:14:25,960 --> 01:14:30,240
At times like this
I am proud to be an American.
1304
01:14:32,160 --> 01:14:35,200
Thank you.
I knew I could count
on each and every one of you.
1305
01:14:35,280 --> 01:14:36,200
(Fozzie whimpers)
1306
01:14:36,440 --> 01:14:38,600
Fozzie, are you OK?
1307
01:14:38,680 --> 01:14:40,840
That took a lot out of me.
1308
01:14:40,920 --> 01:14:44,680
OK. Now we don't have
any time to waste,
so everybody gather 'round.
1309
01:14:44,720 --> 01:14:47,520
And the first thing we have
to do is make our plans.
1310
01:14:47,600 --> 01:14:49,680
Right.
Whoa!
1311
01:14:51,200 --> 01:14:54,840
(muffled)Or we could
get some sleep.
1312
01:14:54,920 --> 01:14:56,000
(smash)
1313
01:15:10,040 --> 01:15:12,960
(woman)Miss Piggy?
What?
1314
01:15:13,040 --> 01:15:15,400
Your lawyer is
here to see you.
1315
01:15:15,440 --> 01:15:18,080
Lawyer? I don't have a lawyer.
1316
01:15:18,200 --> 01:15:21,200
Och, sure you do.
Little green guy.
1317
01:15:21,920 --> 01:15:25,320
Kermie! No wonder he
hasn't come by to see me.
1318
01:15:25,400 --> 01:15:27,720
He had to finish law school.
1319
01:15:38,560 --> 01:15:40,200
Oh, Kermit! Oh!
1320
01:15:40,280 --> 01:15:42,280
Two minutes, pig.
1321
01:15:43,160 --> 01:15:46,240
Oh, Kermie.
Oh, I've missed you so.
1322
01:15:46,280 --> 01:15:48,200
Please.
The name is Rosenthal.
1323
01:15:48,840 --> 01:15:51,280
I'm your attorney.
That's the only way
they'd let me in here.
1324
01:15:51,360 --> 01:15:53,400
Oh, right.
1325
01:15:53,800 --> 01:15:58,480
I've missed you so...
Rosenthal. It's been
an eternity.
1326
01:15:58,560 --> 01:16:00,360
It's been 45 minutes.
1327
01:16:00,440 --> 01:16:03,120
Time goes slow
in the cooler.
1328
01:16:03,200 --> 01:16:05,640
Well, I just want you
to know that we're gonna
get you out of here,
1329
01:16:05,720 --> 01:16:08,280
'cause we're gonna catch
those thieves red-handed.
1330
01:16:08,640 --> 01:16:11,200
What color are
their hands now?
1331
01:16:11,240 --> 01:16:14,240
I don't think this is the time
for that type of humor.
1332
01:16:14,320 --> 01:16:18,200
When you're in stir
you take the laughs when
you can get 'em, Rosenthal.
1333
01:16:18,240 --> 01:16:20,880
Yeah, well, anyway,
just stay put
1334
01:16:20,920 --> 01:16:23,760
because we've got a plan
and we're gonna prove
you're innocent.
1335
01:16:23,840 --> 01:16:27,200
You see, tomorrow night...
precisely at midnight,
1336
01:16:27,240 --> 01:16:30,600
those thieves are gonna
try to steal Lady Holiday's
Baseball Diamond
1337
01:16:30,640 --> 01:16:31,760
from the Mallory Gallery.
1338
01:16:31,800 --> 01:16:35,160
And we're gonna stop 'em.
Oh, Kermit, be careful.
1339
01:16:35,280 --> 01:16:37,720
Don't worry because
I've got Gonzo and Fozzie
1340
01:16:37,760 --> 01:16:40,280
and all our friends from
the Happiness Hotel to help.
1341
01:16:41,120 --> 01:16:43,120
Those clowns?
Mm-hm.
1342
01:16:43,200 --> 01:16:46,280
Great. I'll be stuck
in the big house for life.
1343
01:16:46,600 --> 01:16:48,680
"Big house"?
Is that prison talk?
1344
01:16:49,560 --> 01:16:52,200
Yeah, "big house,"
"squealer," "slammer."
1345
01:16:52,280 --> 01:16:54,800
That's the lingo
we use here in the joint.
1346
01:16:55,240 --> 01:16:58,320
Yeah. Well, you may
talk tough, Miss Piggy,
1347
01:16:58,400 --> 01:17:02,760
but underneath I know you're
still the same beautiful,
sensitive, vulnerable woman
1348
01:17:02,800 --> 01:17:04,320
I was out with
the other night.
1349
01:17:04,400 --> 01:17:07,120
The one who scarfed
down all that caviar.
1350
01:17:07,160 --> 01:17:08,680
(sighs)
1351
01:17:08,760 --> 01:17:11,280
You have such
a way with words.
1352
01:17:11,360 --> 01:17:13,800
I love you, Rosenthal.
1353
01:17:22,280 --> 01:17:24,280
(kiss noisily)
1354
01:17:28,280 --> 01:17:29,800
You're wearing my moustache.
1355
01:17:32,960 --> 01:17:37,320
Yeah, well, you have
mesh marks on your face.
1356
01:17:47,520 --> 01:17:49,280
(Nicky)Glass cutter?
(Carla)Check.
1357
01:17:49,320 --> 01:17:51,440
Nylon rope?
Check.
1358
01:17:51,760 --> 01:17:54,440
Computer deprogrammer?
Check.
1359
01:17:54,680 --> 01:17:56,640
Stopwatch?
Check.
1360
01:17:56,680 --> 01:17:57,720
Pocket laser?
Check.
1361
01:17:59,000 --> 01:18:00,960
Infrared reflex?
Check.
1362
01:18:01,360 --> 01:18:03,360
Portable detonator?
Check.
1363
01:18:03,440 --> 01:18:06,360
Whoopee cushion?
I think it's in the bus.
1364
01:18:06,440 --> 01:18:10,080
Rubber raft?
It's got holes in it.
1365
01:18:10,160 --> 01:18:13,360
Bag of chickens?
(squawk)
1366
01:18:13,400 --> 01:18:16,800
Fake vomit?
It's on order.
1367
01:18:16,880 --> 01:18:19,680
Frisbee?
Lost.
1368
01:18:19,760 --> 01:18:21,520
Pneumatic drill?
Check.
1369
01:18:21,600 --> 01:18:23,160
Computer printout?
Check.
1370
01:18:23,240 --> 01:18:24,960
Radar gun?
Check.
1371
01:18:25,040 --> 01:18:27,400
Walkie-talkies?
(all)Check.
1372
01:18:27,480 --> 01:18:29,840
(sighs)
1373
01:18:41,640 --> 01:18:44,920
Wax lips?
Man, I just had 'em.
1374
01:18:45,000 --> 01:18:46,760
Did you leave them
in your other pants?
1375
01:18:46,840 --> 01:18:49,480
I don't have no other pants.
1376
01:18:49,560 --> 01:18:52,200
Yo-yo?
For sure.
1377
01:18:52,280 --> 01:18:54,120
Harpoon gun?
That's you.
1378
01:18:54,200 --> 01:18:55,360
Check.
1379
01:18:56,240 --> 01:18:58,880
All right, team.
1380
01:18:58,920 --> 01:19:00,600
Let's go for it.
1381
01:19:01,280 --> 01:19:04,120
Peanut butter?
Animal ate it.
1382
01:19:04,200 --> 01:19:06,720
Sorry.
(groaning)
1383
01:19:07,400 --> 01:19:09,400
Well, Kermit,
1384
01:19:09,440 --> 01:19:11,600
I guess that's it.
1385
01:19:11,680 --> 01:19:13,280
All right, everybody.
1386
01:19:13,360 --> 01:19:17,080
Let's go for it.
(cheering)
1387
01:19:19,440 --> 01:19:21,600
(smash)
1388
01:19:23,360 --> 01:19:27,000
(takes deep breaths)
1389
01:19:33,680 --> 01:19:34,960
Go for it!
1390
01:19:35,040 --> 01:19:36,480
(strains)
1391
01:19:45,960 --> 01:19:47,960
(cheering)
1392
01:20:49,360 --> 01:20:51,400
(crunch)
(Kermit)Beauregard.
1393
01:20:51,480 --> 01:20:53,800
Back it up here.
1394
01:20:53,840 --> 01:20:56,840
(all whisper excitedly)
(Muppet)Sh. Sh.
1395
01:20:56,880 --> 01:20:59,680
(Gonzo)OK. Quiet.
(Muppet)Sh.
1396
01:20:59,760 --> 01:21:02,920
(Kermit)OK. You guys
all got your disguises
in place?
1397
01:21:03,000 --> 01:21:04,800
Sh.
1398
01:21:04,880 --> 01:21:07,360
(all)Wow.
1399
01:21:30,360 --> 01:21:33,320
Wow!
(all)Sh!
1400
01:21:33,400 --> 01:21:35,520
I'm taking a picture.
Sh.
1401
01:21:35,560 --> 01:21:37,600
Rowlf, hand me
the blowtorch.
1402
01:21:38,200 --> 01:21:40,120
Blowtorch?
Who said anything
about a blowtorch?
1403
01:21:40,200 --> 01:21:42,120
I got some paper towels.
1404
01:21:42,200 --> 01:21:45,360
How are we supposed to cut
through the bars if nobody
brought stuff to cut with?
1405
01:21:45,400 --> 01:21:48,720
I brought some hot mustard.
Maybe that'll
eat through the bars.
1406
01:21:48,840 --> 01:21:50,280
Eat through the bars!
1407
01:21:50,360 --> 01:21:52,240
Animal?
What?
1408
01:21:52,320 --> 01:21:56,480
Hey. Why don't you see if you
can eat through
these iron bars.
1409
01:21:56,560 --> 01:21:59,000
Eat through bars.
1410
01:22:09,600 --> 01:22:13,280
Doggy!
(Fozzie)The cops!
1411
01:22:13,360 --> 01:22:15,280
(all yell)
1412
01:22:17,160 --> 01:22:21,120
Do you know where Lady
Holiday's Baseball Diamond
is being kept?
1413
01:22:21,200 --> 01:22:25,120
Funnily enough, I do.
It's at the Mallory Gallery,
1414
01:22:25,160 --> 01:22:27,480
a virtually
impregnable fortress,
1415
01:22:27,560 --> 01:22:29,840
many miles from here.
1416
01:22:29,920 --> 01:22:31,800
I only have a half
an hour to get there.
1417
01:22:31,880 --> 01:22:33,880
On foot?
You'll never make it.
1418
01:22:33,960 --> 01:22:35,960
I know. How about a ride?
1419
01:22:36,040 --> 01:22:38,120
You can read, I presume?
1420
01:22:38,200 --> 01:22:40,120
"No passengers."
1421
01:22:40,200 --> 01:22:44,120
Oh, couldn't you
make an exception
for little old moi?
1422
01:22:44,200 --> 01:22:46,880
Not even for little old vous.
(laughs)
1423
01:22:46,960 --> 01:22:49,720
Pretty please?
No!
1424
01:22:50,480 --> 01:22:53,200
I've tried to be nice.
1425
01:22:53,280 --> 01:22:56,000
Huh?
Hiii-yah!
1426
01:22:58,400 --> 01:23:00,760
(truck drives off)
1427
01:23:00,840 --> 01:23:02,320
Hey.
1428
01:23:02,960 --> 01:23:04,480
What's all the racket?
1429
01:23:04,520 --> 01:23:06,400
What are you doing here?
1430
01:23:06,480 --> 01:23:08,480
A very brief cameo.
1431
01:23:09,000 --> 01:23:11,240
Me too. (tuts)
1432
01:23:39,840 --> 01:23:42,000
Breaker one, this is Hamhock.
Do you read me?
1433
01:23:42,000 --> 01:23:43,200
Loud and clear, Hamhock.
1434
01:23:43,240 --> 01:23:46,040
This is Dirty Bird.
What's your 20, over?
1435
01:23:46,120 --> 01:23:48,880
Well, good buddy,
we're westbound
out of Highgate.
1436
01:23:48,920 --> 01:23:51,040
Any smokies between me
and Blimeytown?
1437
01:23:51,080 --> 01:23:54,040
Negatory, Hamhock.
You're free and clear.
1438
01:23:54,120 --> 01:23:56,000
Ten-four, Dirty Bird.
Much obliged.
1439
01:23:56,080 --> 01:23:58,960
We got the hammer down
and we gone.
1440
01:24:01,040 --> 01:24:03,120
I never ordered
no pepperoni.
1441
01:24:03,200 --> 01:24:06,080
It's right here on the slip.
Medium pepperoni with double
cheese.
1442
01:24:06,160 --> 01:24:09,880
(Italian accent)That's-a
right. We don't-a make them,
we just-a deliver them.
1443
01:24:09,920 --> 01:24:12,600
Somebody here called
Pizza Twins, and that's us.
1444
01:24:12,680 --> 01:24:14,400
What's the name
on that slip?
1445
01:24:16,560 --> 01:24:17,800
Uh...
1446
01:24:18,840 --> 01:24:21,520
What's your name?
Henderson.
1447
01:24:22,400 --> 01:24:25,720
That's it!
That's the name on the slip.
Ah!
1448
01:24:26,760 --> 01:24:30,440
But I hate pepperoni.
I'll eat it.
1449
01:24:30,520 --> 01:24:32,920
Stand by, guys.
(all)Right!
1450
01:24:36,440 --> 01:24:38,840
Ooh.
1451
01:24:41,360 --> 01:24:43,520
'Ere. Just one moment.
1452
01:24:44,440 --> 01:24:45,840
Can I see that slip?
1453
01:24:45,920 --> 01:24:49,120
Uh... uh... well...
1454
01:24:49,200 --> 01:24:51,240
Actually, this is
the wrong slip.
1455
01:24:51,280 --> 01:24:54,440
That slip, sir,
you said it had my name on it.
1456
01:24:54,520 --> 01:24:56,920
Oh, that-a slip.
1457
01:24:57,000 --> 01:24:58,960
That-a slip we left at home.
1458
01:24:59,040 --> 01:25:01,280
But we got-a the pepperoni.
1459
01:25:01,360 --> 01:25:04,000
But I hate pepperoni.
Hate pepperoni.
Right.
1460
01:25:04,120 --> 01:25:06,400
How about you could
feed it to the dogs?
1461
01:25:06,440 --> 01:25:08,400
Yes. That's-a right.
Here, sir.
1462
01:25:08,440 --> 01:25:10,440
Oh, that's very
thoughtful of you.
1463
01:25:10,480 --> 01:25:11,600
Thank you very much, sir.
1464
01:25:16,400 --> 01:25:19,320
(clunk)
1465
01:25:19,400 --> 01:25:22,560
(engine loses power)
1466
01:25:26,320 --> 01:25:28,520
What am I?
A glutton for punishment?
1467
01:25:39,840 --> 01:25:41,880
Hey, Fozzie...
Sh.
1468
01:25:41,960 --> 01:25:44,480
Fozzie, how do we get in?
1469
01:25:44,520 --> 01:25:46,920
Why don't we just
ring the doorbell?
1470
01:25:46,960 --> 01:25:48,800
No, no, no. There's
got to be another way.
1471
01:25:48,840 --> 01:25:50,480
Well, you'd better
think of it pretty quick.
1472
01:25:50,520 --> 01:25:53,120
Those dogs have nearly
finished the pizza.
1473
01:25:53,480 --> 01:25:54,920
I know. The roof.
1474
01:25:55,000 --> 01:25:58,160
Oh, man.
No way we'll ever
get up there.
1475
01:25:58,240 --> 01:26:01,000
(dogs bark)
1476
01:26:01,040 --> 01:26:02,320
(all scream)
1477
01:26:29,240 --> 01:26:32,760
(all breathe heavily)
(Gonzo)Phew.
1478
01:26:32,880 --> 01:26:35,520
So far I'm not
having any fun.
1479
01:26:35,560 --> 01:26:37,200
Let me talk to 'em.
1480
01:26:37,240 --> 01:26:40,120
Woof woof.
Woof woof.
1481
01:26:40,200 --> 01:26:43,040
(whines)
1482
01:26:43,520 --> 01:26:45,760
It helps to know
a second language.
1483
01:26:48,120 --> 01:26:50,240
It's nearly midnight.
1484
01:26:50,320 --> 01:26:53,120
What am I going to do?
1485
01:26:53,200 --> 01:26:55,240
Hey! Hey, you! Hey!
1486
01:27:05,520 --> 01:27:08,080
What an unbelievable
coincidence.
1487
01:27:26,640 --> 01:27:29,400
Now, this window probably
has an alarm system on it.
1488
01:27:29,440 --> 01:27:32,400
My assistant Beaker
will check it out.
1489
01:27:32,480 --> 01:27:34,240
Go on, Beaker.
1490
01:27:37,280 --> 01:27:39,480
(screams)
1491
01:27:46,960 --> 01:27:48,160
(beeping)
1492
01:27:49,880 --> 01:27:53,160
Very good, Beaker.
Now it's perfectly safe.
1493
01:27:53,240 --> 01:27:56,760
Oh, good.
Animal, do your stuff.
1494
01:27:58,040 --> 01:28:00,160
(strains)
1495
01:28:03,960 --> 01:28:05,760
(Animal)Sorry.
1496
01:28:15,960 --> 01:28:19,560
There it is.
The fabulous Baseball Diamond.
1497
01:28:21,480 --> 01:28:23,120
(Scooter)How are we
gonna get down there?
1498
01:28:23,160 --> 01:28:25,000
I suggest we jump.
1499
01:28:25,080 --> 01:28:27,920
Are you crazy?
That's about a hundred feet.
1500
01:28:27,960 --> 01:28:30,160
I didn't say it was
a good suggestion.
1501
01:28:30,200 --> 01:28:32,680
Maybe we could jump partway.
1502
01:28:39,640 --> 01:28:41,320
Oh, boy,
what do we do now?
1503
01:28:41,400 --> 01:28:44,520
We're just gonna have
to go down there and catch
those thieves red-handed.
1504
01:28:44,600 --> 01:28:47,520
What color are
their hands now?
1505
01:28:58,320 --> 01:29:00,160
We'll just have to improvise.
1506
01:29:00,200 --> 01:29:02,560
We'll make a ladder out of
whatever will hold us.
1507
01:29:02,640 --> 01:29:06,120
Good idea.
Here's the paper towels.
1508
01:29:08,400 --> 01:29:11,400
I'm coming, Kermie!
1509
01:29:14,880 --> 01:29:17,080
(siren)
1510
01:29:17,120 --> 01:29:19,600
Well, you wanted excitement.
1511
01:30:14,000 --> 01:30:16,760
Excuse me, I don't think
that belongs to you.
1512
01:30:16,840 --> 01:30:18,960
(all shout)
1513
01:30:21,920 --> 01:30:23,120
Say cheese!
1514
01:30:26,160 --> 01:30:27,880
Woman!
1515
01:30:28,800 --> 01:30:30,360
Hey, nice catch, Animal.
1516
01:30:30,440 --> 01:30:32,920
Heads up, Lew.
Over here, Rowlf!
Yeah, got it!
1517
01:30:32,960 --> 01:30:36,560
Hot potato! Keep away.
Here we go.
1518
01:30:38,480 --> 01:30:41,360
I got it. Thank you.
Be careful, guys.
1519
01:30:41,440 --> 01:30:44,040
Catch it. Get him!
1520
01:30:44,120 --> 01:30:46,480
(laughs)
1521
01:30:46,520 --> 01:30:47,520
Still got a good eye.
1522
01:30:47,600 --> 01:30:51,400
Welcome to the wild world
of Muppet sports.
1523
01:30:51,480 --> 01:30:53,080
This is Louis Kazagger
with a play-by-play
1524
01:30:53,160 --> 01:30:55,120
of the game.
Woman!
1525
01:30:55,160 --> 01:30:57,120
And it looks
like ladies' night
here at the gallery.
1526
01:30:57,160 --> 01:31:01,160
Peekaboo.
Hey! Ba-ba-do-be-bop.
1527
01:31:01,200 --> 01:31:04,320
OK. Here she comes, boy!
1528
01:31:07,880 --> 01:31:09,960
(frightened meeps)
1529
01:31:12,400 --> 01:31:14,800
Hey, way to chuck,
way to look, way to move!
1530
01:31:14,880 --> 01:31:19,040
Popcorn, popcorn.
Get your red-hot popcorn.
1531
01:31:19,040 --> 01:31:20,320
(speaks mock Swedish)
1532
01:31:25,920 --> 01:31:27,520
Popcorn, chicken?
1533
01:31:27,600 --> 01:31:29,920
Woman!
1534
01:31:31,880 --> 01:31:33,560
Woman!
1535
01:31:33,840 --> 01:31:34,840
OK, OK.
1536
01:31:34,880 --> 01:31:37,880
Lew Zealand
leads off the order
as we join the game.
1537
01:31:39,080 --> 01:31:41,040
Chuck it to me, Beakie baby.
1538
01:31:41,080 --> 01:31:43,520
Pitchy witchy, Beaker.
1539
01:31:43,560 --> 01:31:46,080
Pitcher, you couldn't hit
the front side of a barn!
1540
01:31:46,160 --> 01:31:48,400
Picture of the pitcher.
1541
01:31:48,480 --> 01:31:50,560
Wait for what you want,
Lew, baby.
1542
01:31:50,640 --> 01:31:51,960
Rah, rah, rah!
1543
01:31:52,040 --> 01:31:54,040
Beaker goes into the windup.
1544
01:31:54,080 --> 01:31:56,840
It's the pitch.
1545
01:31:56,880 --> 01:31:58,080
It's a high fly ball
to Kermit the Frog.
1546
01:31:58,080 --> 01:32:01,920
I got it.
I got it.
I got it.
1547
01:32:03,080 --> 01:32:06,200
Hey, gimme that diamond,
you crook.
1548
01:32:06,240 --> 01:32:08,320
Come on, guys.
Get him.
1549
01:32:08,400 --> 01:32:09,960
All right.
Back off!
1550
01:32:12,320 --> 01:32:14,320
But, Nicky,
why are you doing this?
1551
01:32:14,400 --> 01:32:17,440
Why am I doing this?
Because I'm a villain.
It's pure and simple.
1552
01:32:17,560 --> 01:32:21,320
Excuse me, Mr. Holiday, sir.
Would you let Kermit go?
1553
01:32:21,400 --> 01:32:23,600
If you hold him too long
he'll just give you warts.
1554
01:32:23,680 --> 01:32:25,360
Oh, no. He's coming with us.
1555
01:32:25,440 --> 01:32:27,360
Come on, girls.
Let's get out of here.
1556
01:32:27,800 --> 01:32:30,200
(motorbike approaches)
1557
01:32:44,280 --> 01:32:47,280
(all cheer)
1558
01:32:48,480 --> 01:32:50,360
Hii-yah!
1559
01:32:50,440 --> 01:32:52,720
Hiii-yah!
1560
01:32:56,000 --> 01:32:57,800
Hii-yah!
1561
01:32:57,840 --> 01:33:01,800
Hii-yah!
Ow!
1562
01:33:01,840 --> 01:33:04,640
(Fozzie)Watch out!
(Kermit)Miss Piggy!
1563
01:33:04,720 --> 01:33:07,280
(Fozzie)Yeah! Way to go!
(cheering)
1564
01:33:07,360 --> 01:33:09,680
Ha ha ha ha.
1565
01:33:24,720 --> 01:33:26,440
Bye-bye.
1566
01:33:29,200 --> 01:33:32,400
You were magnificent,
Miss Piggy.
I did it all for you.
1567
01:33:32,480 --> 01:33:34,120
Could I have
just a moment?
Thank you.
1568
01:33:34,200 --> 01:33:36,080
Por nada.
1569
01:33:36,160 --> 01:33:37,320
Oh.
1570
01:33:38,160 --> 01:33:40,960
I really did care for you,
you know.
I know.
1571
01:33:41,040 --> 01:33:43,800
We could've had the world
on a silver platter.
1572
01:33:44,040 --> 01:33:46,920
That silver's turned
to iron bars, Nicky.
1573
01:33:47,000 --> 01:33:48,760
Don't hate me,
Miss Piggy.
1574
01:33:48,840 --> 01:33:52,440
Oh, I don't. It's just that
somehow along the road
1575
01:33:52,520 --> 01:33:55,040
I found out the difference
between wrong and right.
1576
01:33:55,120 --> 01:33:56,680
You're wrong...
1577
01:33:57,400 --> 01:33:58,760
He's right.
1578
01:34:03,480 --> 01:34:05,680
Would you believe it, Statler?
1579
01:34:05,720 --> 01:34:08,600
They're heroes.
Now they're gonna
be obnoxious.
1580
01:34:08,680 --> 01:34:11,920
So what else is new?
1581
01:34:12,000 --> 01:34:14,200
Well, I say all's well
that ends well.
1582
01:34:14,240 --> 01:34:16,680
It doesn't matter to me
as long as it ends.
1583
01:34:16,720 --> 01:34:19,000
(both laugh)
1584
01:34:22,800 --> 01:34:24,080
(sighs)
1585
01:34:24,160 --> 01:34:27,000
It was nice of the Chronicle
to pay for our flight home.
1586
01:34:27,080 --> 01:34:30,760
Yeah, but a man should be
treated better
than his luggage.
1587
01:34:30,800 --> 01:34:33,560
Yeah, well, my luggage
was sucked out the door.
1588
01:34:33,600 --> 01:34:35,800
Luckily my radio's
frozen to my wrist.
1589
01:34:36,760 --> 01:34:39,440
OK, guys.
Everybody out for the USA.
1590
01:34:39,520 --> 01:34:42,600
Oh, boy.
How close are we?
1591
01:34:42,640 --> 01:34:44,760
Oh, about 30,000 feet.
1592
01:34:44,840 --> 01:34:47,480
(Kermit)You mean...?
Yup.
1593
01:34:47,560 --> 01:34:50,080
Happy landing!
1594
01:34:50,120 --> 01:34:51,400
Whoa!
1595
01:34:51,440 --> 01:34:53,760
Come on, carrot-top.
1596
01:34:59,480 --> 01:35:03,840
(♪"Hey, A Movie")
1597
01:35:06,920 --> 01:35:10,160
♪We've had comedy
♪We've had mystery
1598
01:35:10,240 --> 01:35:13,800
♪We've had a real good time
and solved a crime real easily
1599
01:35:13,840 --> 01:35:17,720
♪Hey, a movie
♪I just can't
believe they did it
1600
01:35:17,800 --> 01:35:21,120
♪Starring everybody
And me!
1601
01:35:21,200 --> 01:35:23,440
♪There was spectacle
♪There was fantasy
1602
01:35:23,480 --> 01:35:28,160
♪Where we took a chance
♪And saw romance end happily
1603
01:35:28,200 --> 01:35:30,160
♪In a movie
Oh, Kermie!
1604
01:35:30,200 --> 01:35:31,720
♪I just love a happy ending
1605
01:35:31,800 --> 01:35:34,680
♪One for everybody
♪Everybody
1606
01:35:34,760 --> 01:35:39,080
♪Everybody
♪Everybody
1607
01:35:39,160 --> 01:35:42,840
♪Everybody
♪Everybody
1608
01:35:42,880 --> 01:35:44,760
♪Everybody in the world ♪
1609
01:35:44,840 --> 01:35:47,360
And me.
And me.
1610
01:35:47,440 --> 01:35:49,040
And me.
And me.
1611
01:35:49,120 --> 01:35:50,960
And me.
And me.
1612
01:35:51,000 --> 01:35:52,800
And me.
(meeps)
1613
01:35:52,840 --> 01:35:56,040
And me.
And me.
1614
01:35:56,120 --> 01:35:57,960
And me.
And me.
1615
01:35:58,000 --> 01:35:59,800
And me.
(speaks mock Swedish)
1616
01:35:59,840 --> 01:36:01,760
And me.
And me.
1617
01:36:01,840 --> 01:36:03,360
And me.
1618
01:36:04,320 --> 01:36:05,760
And me.
1619
01:36:10,720 --> 01:36:12,760
(♪"The First Time It Happens)
1620
01:36:25,080 --> 01:36:28,800
♪Just warmer and colder
1621
01:36:28,880 --> 01:36:31,360
♪Than springtime or snow
1622
01:36:31,400 --> 01:36:37,800
♪The first time it happens,
you know
1623
01:36:42,440 --> 01:36:46,160
♪And so you fall
1624
01:36:46,240 --> 01:36:49,880
♪And how complete it is
1625
01:36:49,960 --> 01:36:54,080
♪And for each moment
that it lasts
1626
01:36:54,120 --> 01:36:59,320
♪How sweet it is ♪
1627
01:37:38,080 --> 01:37:41,440
Wait a minute!
Wait! Hold it right there.
1628
01:37:41,480 --> 01:37:43,760
Don't go home yet.
1629
01:37:43,880 --> 01:37:46,120
Say cheese.
1630
01:37:47,520 --> 01:37:49,760
I'll send you each a copy.