1
00:02:59,050 --> 00:03:00,760
You derelicts know what time it is?

2
00:03:01,010 --> 00:03:01,720
What?

3
00:03:01,886 --> 00:03:04,681
It is bug-betting time! All right?!

4
00:03:05,056 --> 00:03:07,892
First bug to get fried wins $2.
I got the green one.

5
00:03:08,059 --> 00:03:09,394
$2 on the June bug.

6
00:03:14,190 --> 00:03:18,403
You must actually let go of the
money in order for it to be a bet.

7
00:03:18,570 --> 00:03:22,031
Round and round she goes,
where she stops... Number 2!

8
00:03:32,208 --> 00:03:34,669
Any of you shitheads ever get bored?

9
00:03:35,754 --> 00:03:37,213
You ever get bored?

10
00:03:38,757 --> 00:03:40,550
'Cause I got a riddle.

11
00:03:42,260 --> 00:03:45,388
Takes about 2 ounces of
brains to figure it out.

12
00:03:45,764 --> 00:03:48,725
Anybody think they got a
brain with 2 ounces of brain?

13
00:03:48,892 --> 00:03:50,935
There's a rumor Earl does.

14
00:03:52,228 --> 00:03:56,232
For chrissakes, boys, come on, a little
self-confidence from the gallery.

15
00:03:56,399 --> 00:03:58,068
This ain't long division.

16
00:03:58,234 --> 00:04:00,779
- How much we got to lose?
- Want to liven things up?

17
00:04:00,945 --> 00:04:02,739
That's a hell of an idea!

18
00:04:03,615 --> 00:04:07,077
Everyone puts in 20 bucks.
Pot goes to whoever solves the riddle.

19
00:04:07,243 --> 00:04:08,787
You'll get the riddle.

20
00:04:10,622 --> 00:04:12,957
I'm the one asking the riddle.

21
00:04:13,124 --> 00:04:15,919
I already know the answer.
I don't get a guess.

22
00:04:17,087 --> 00:04:20,131
Although we could say if I get
to 500 bounces on the wedge...

23
00:04:20,799 --> 00:04:23,468
...and no one gets the
riddle, I get the pot.

24
00:04:24,135 --> 00:04:26,930
Now, I know you're thinking
it's an impossible riddle.

25
00:04:27,097 --> 00:04:28,640
It's not. It's easy.

26
00:04:28,807 --> 00:04:31,476
And if somehow, by the
grace of fluke luck...

27
00:04:31,643 --> 00:04:35,772
...I win and y'all don't agree that
it was an easy riddle, then...

28
00:04:36,439 --> 00:04:37,982
...I'll refund your money.

29
00:04:41,319 --> 00:04:42,112
I'm in!

30
00:04:42,362 --> 00:04:43,613
Money in the bank.

31
00:04:43,822 --> 00:04:44,614
I'll hold it.

32
00:04:44,781 --> 00:04:45,490
Give it.

33
00:04:45,657 --> 00:04:48,785
A man's driving down
the road with his son.

34
00:04:48,952 --> 00:04:50,161
He gets in a crash.

35
00:04:50,453 --> 00:04:51,496
Two ambulances come...

36
00:04:51,663 --> 00:04:54,499
...and they take the man and
his son to different hospitals.

37
00:04:55,458 --> 00:04:56,835
Different hospitals.

38
00:04:57,293 --> 00:05:00,338
Son goes into the operating
room, all right?

39
00:05:00,672 --> 00:05:02,841
Doctor looks at him, says:

40
00:05:03,508 --> 00:05:05,635
"I can't operate on this boy.

41
00:05:05,969 --> 00:05:07,178
He's my son."

42
00:05:07,345 --> 00:05:09,681
Now, how is that possible?

43
00:05:10,306 --> 00:05:12,308
How is that possible?

44
00:05:23,486 --> 00:05:24,863
Clock's ticking.

45
00:05:25,029 --> 00:05:26,531
Father's at the other hospital?

46
00:05:26,698 --> 00:05:28,032
He didn't sneak over?

47
00:05:28,199 --> 00:05:29,701
No one beamed him aboard.

48
00:05:29,993 --> 00:05:34,205
All right, what if the father
married the son's daughter?

49
00:05:34,372 --> 00:05:35,707
This is a family riddle.

50
00:05:36,207 --> 00:05:37,375
Think clean thoughts.

51
00:05:37,542 --> 00:05:38,877
Give us a hint.

52
00:05:39,044 --> 00:05:40,503
You want a hint?

53
00:05:41,337 --> 00:05:43,048
The doctor's a woman.

54
00:05:45,508 --> 00:05:47,343
The doctor's a woman.

55
00:05:49,220 --> 00:05:51,514
The doctor's the son's mother.

56
00:05:51,848 --> 00:05:55,852
Feminists pose the riddle to
reveal sexual stereotypes.

57
00:05:56,019 --> 00:05:58,354
I take it you're a feminist.

58
00:06:00,356 --> 00:06:04,027
I've been called many things,
but never been saddled with that.

59
00:06:04,194 --> 00:06:05,862
You might try being saddled.

60
00:06:06,071 --> 00:06:08,031
Smell of leather, a whip's sting.

61
00:06:09,032 --> 00:06:11,743
I'm just a humble golf pro.
Could I help you?

62
00:06:11,910 --> 00:06:13,411
You're Roy McAvoy?

63
00:06:15,372 --> 00:06:17,832
I pictured something different.

64
00:06:18,541 --> 00:06:19,918
I have a 7:00 lesson.

65
00:06:20,251 --> 00:06:21,711
I thought I had a Dr. Griswold.

66
00:06:25,215 --> 00:06:26,549
That's me.

67
00:06:36,768 --> 00:06:40,230
First thing you must learn is
this game ain't about hitting...

68
00:06:40,397 --> 00:06:41,731
...a ball in a hole.

69
00:06:41,898 --> 00:06:45,735
It's about inner demons,
self-doubt, human frailty...

70
00:06:45,902 --> 00:06:47,445
...and overcoming that crap.

71
00:06:47,612 --> 00:06:50,281
What kind of doctor
did you say you were?

72
00:06:50,448 --> 00:06:51,449
Psychologist.

73
00:06:51,950 --> 00:06:56,246
I'm a neo-Jungian, post-modern
Freudian, holistic secularist.

74
00:06:58,248 --> 00:06:59,416
Okay.

75
00:07:00,083 --> 00:07:02,460
Inner demons and human
frailty is my life's work.

76
00:07:02,627 --> 00:07:05,463
I used to practice in El Paso,
but I moved here now.

77
00:07:05,797 --> 00:07:07,757
What is all this stuff?

78
00:07:07,924 --> 00:07:09,634
I got it from the Golf Channel.

79
00:07:09,801 --> 00:07:12,429
Well, it's a waste of money.

80
00:07:12,804 --> 00:07:17,100
I'm sure there are some
excesses and repetitions here,

81
00:07:17,267 --> 00:07:19,602
but I believe in gathering knowledge.

82
00:07:19,769 --> 00:07:22,772
There must be some truth to the
golf swing illustrated here...

83
00:07:22,939 --> 00:07:26,109
I thought you would kind of
help me sort through it.

84
00:07:26,276 --> 00:07:28,486
I have dozens of golf videotapes.

85
00:07:28,653 --> 00:07:29,988
I bet she has a golf watch.

86
00:07:30,321 --> 00:07:31,448
Got a golf watch?

87
00:07:31,990 --> 00:07:33,950
I think I got a good one.

88
00:07:34,284 --> 00:07:35,452
Right there.

89
00:07:35,827 --> 00:07:37,287
Take it off.

90
00:07:37,495 --> 00:07:38,163
Off?

91
00:07:38,329 --> 00:07:40,665
All of it, right now. All of it.

92
00:07:40,832 --> 00:07:43,168
You're a smart woman, for chrissakes.

93
00:07:44,836 --> 00:07:47,297
Don't you know the work of
hustlers when you see it?

94
00:07:47,505 --> 00:07:48,798
Well, no.

95
00:07:50,133 --> 00:07:51,342
I mean...

96
00:07:52,177 --> 00:07:54,971
...I can always tell when
someone's lying to himself.

97
00:07:55,138 --> 00:07:58,308
But I'm susceptible and frequently
wrong when a person lies to me.

98
00:07:58,475 --> 00:08:00,935
This stuff cost me over $200.

99
00:08:01,144 --> 00:08:03,313
It's $200 of shit.

100
00:08:04,522 --> 00:08:06,649
Well, that's just great.

101
00:08:06,816 --> 00:08:09,694
Let's do this the old-fashioned way.
Just swing.

102
00:08:10,487 --> 00:08:11,654
All right.

103
00:08:20,205 --> 00:08:21,206
Come up.

104
00:08:24,167 --> 00:08:25,377
Excuse me.

105
00:08:30,215 --> 00:08:31,508
Fuck.

106
00:08:33,676 --> 00:08:35,512
You talk like a golfer.

107
00:08:35,678 --> 00:08:38,223
That's a pretty girl to
have such an ugly swing.

108
00:08:39,849 --> 00:08:41,017
Oh, God!

109
00:08:41,184 --> 00:08:42,685
Oh, that hurt.

110
00:08:42,852 --> 00:08:43,895
Shit!

111
00:08:45,730 --> 00:08:47,190
"Fuck." "Shit."

112
00:08:47,357 --> 00:08:49,192
These are technical golf terms.

113
00:08:49,359 --> 00:08:51,361
You're using them on your first lesson.

114
00:08:51,903 --> 00:08:53,363
This is promising.

115
00:08:53,530 --> 00:08:54,364
Great.

116
00:08:54,739 --> 00:08:57,575
Wise-ass. Show me. Just go ahead.

117
00:09:11,756 --> 00:09:13,216
Something like that.

118
00:09:14,092 --> 00:09:15,593
That's impressive.

119
00:09:15,885 --> 00:09:18,221
I tend to process things verbally...

120
00:09:18,388 --> 00:09:21,224
...so can you break down
into words how you did that?

121
00:09:26,771 --> 00:09:29,733
"What Is The Golf Swing,"
by Roy McAvoy?

122
00:09:31,568 --> 00:09:33,945
I think of the golf swing as a poem.

123
00:09:34,112 --> 00:09:36,239
He's doing that poetry thing again.

124
00:09:36,406 --> 00:09:39,617
The opening phrase of this
poem will always be the grip.

125
00:09:39,909 --> 00:09:43,788
The hands unite to form a single
unit by the simple overlap of the...

126
00:09:44,956 --> 00:09:46,082
...little finger.

127
00:09:46,249 --> 00:09:46,958
Right.

128
00:09:47,292 --> 00:09:49,419
Lowly and slowly...

129
00:09:49,586 --> 00:09:53,256
...the club head is led back, pulled
into position not by the hands,

130
00:09:53,423 --> 00:09:55,592
...but the body, which turns
away from the target,

131
00:09:55,759 --> 00:09:58,636
...shifting weight to the right side
without shifting balance.

132
00:09:58,803 --> 00:10:03,099
Tempo is all, perfection unattainable,
as at the top of the swing...

133
00:10:03,266 --> 00:10:06,144
...there's a hesitation,
a little nod to the gods.

134
00:10:06,978 --> 00:10:09,105
A nod to the gods?

135
00:10:09,606 --> 00:10:12,317
To the gods that he is fallible.

136
00:10:12,942 --> 00:10:14,819
That perfection is unattainable.

137
00:10:14,986 --> 00:10:18,948
Weight shifts to the left pulled
by the powers in the earth...

138
00:10:19,115 --> 00:10:21,284
...it's alive, this swing,
and a sculpture...

139
00:10:21,451 --> 00:10:23,787
...and down through contact...

140
00:10:23,953 --> 00:10:26,122
...striking the ball crisply...

141
00:10:26,331 --> 00:10:27,624
...with character.

142
00:10:27,791 --> 00:10:31,628
A tuning fork goes off in
your heart, your balls...

143
00:10:32,504 --> 00:10:35,632
...such a pure feeling is
the well-struck golf shot.

144
00:10:36,508 --> 00:10:38,510
Then the follow-through to finish...

145
00:10:38,676 --> 00:10:40,136
...always on line.

146
00:10:40,303 --> 00:10:43,014
The reverse-C of the Golden Bear...

147
00:10:43,640 --> 00:10:46,518
...the steelworkers' power and
the brawn of Carl Sandburg's...

148
00:10:46,851 --> 00:10:48,645
...Arnold Palmer!

149
00:10:49,646 --> 00:10:51,481
He's doing the
"Arnold Palmer" thing.

150
00:10:52,315 --> 00:10:54,192
And the unfinished symphony of...

151
00:10:54,526 --> 00:10:56,319
...Roy McAvoy.

152
00:10:58,154 --> 00:10:59,864
What's unfinished?

153
00:11:00,990 --> 00:11:04,828
I have a short follow-through.
It has an unfinished look.

154
00:11:05,537 --> 00:11:06,538
Why?

155
00:11:07,997 --> 00:11:12,168
Some say it's the easiest way to
play in the winds of west Texas...

156
00:11:12,335 --> 00:11:16,381
...some say it's because I never
finished anything in my life.

157
00:11:17,173 --> 00:11:19,634
You can decide. But the point is...

158
00:11:19,884 --> 00:11:22,178
...every finishing position is unique.

159
00:11:24,681 --> 00:11:26,558
That's what the golf swing's about.

160
00:11:27,892 --> 00:11:30,854
It's about gaining control
of your life and...

161
00:11:31,062 --> 00:11:33,189
...letting go at the same time.

162
00:11:35,567 --> 00:11:36,860
Jeez Louise.

163
00:11:37,026 --> 00:11:40,029
There's only one other acceptable
theory about how to hit the ball.

164
00:11:40,196 --> 00:11:42,741
Oh, boy, well, I'm afraid to ask.

165
00:11:42,907 --> 00:11:44,909
What's the other theory?

166
00:11:45,076 --> 00:11:47,078
Grip it and rip it.

167
00:11:49,748 --> 00:11:51,750
Well, you know...

168
00:11:52,417 --> 00:11:55,754
...while I do appreciate your
poetic sensibility, Mr. McAvoy...

169
00:11:55,920 --> 00:11:57,756
Call me Roy, Molly.

170
00:11:57,922 --> 00:12:02,594
Call me Dr. Griswold, Roy. I think I'm
more of the grip it and rip it school.

171
00:12:03,178 --> 00:12:05,180
Then let's tee it up.

172
00:12:05,555 --> 00:12:06,931
All right, waggle.

173
00:12:08,266 --> 00:12:09,392
Waggle.

174
00:12:10,894 --> 00:12:11,853
No, look.

175
00:12:12,062 --> 00:12:13,605
He's got her waggling now.

176
00:12:14,064 --> 00:12:15,440
Waggle the...

177
00:12:15,607 --> 00:12:17,400
...club head, okay?

178
00:12:18,401 --> 00:12:20,737
It's a relaxing ritual we do.

179
00:12:21,571 --> 00:12:22,947
Just waggle it.

180
00:12:25,408 --> 00:12:27,619
Waggle it and let the big dog eat.

181
00:12:29,913 --> 00:12:30,955
What big dog?

182
00:12:31,247 --> 00:12:32,957
The driver, the #1-wood.

183
00:12:33,124 --> 00:12:34,918
- This is metal.
- All woods are.

184
00:12:35,085 --> 00:12:36,961
The driver's known as the big dog.

185
00:12:37,128 --> 00:12:40,131
I'm just saying let him
loose, let it rip...

186
00:12:40,298 --> 00:12:42,092
...let the big dog eat.

187
00:12:54,729 --> 00:12:57,482
You know, this is without a doubt
the stupidest, silliest...

188
00:12:57,565 --> 00:13:00,944
...most idiotic, grotesquely
masquerading game ever invented.

189
00:13:01,111 --> 00:13:03,446
Yes, that's why I love it.

190
00:13:03,613 --> 00:13:05,949
If you hit one good shot...

191
00:13:06,116 --> 00:13:08,827
...and that tuning fork
rings in your loins...

192
00:13:10,328 --> 00:13:11,788
...and you can't wait...

193
00:13:11,955 --> 00:13:12,914
...to get back.

194
00:13:13,289 --> 00:13:14,666
Try it again.

195
00:13:26,845 --> 00:13:29,013
The big dog just ate something.

196
00:13:30,807 --> 00:13:33,685
Did that tuning fork ring in your loins?

197
00:13:34,018 --> 00:13:36,354
Well, I wouldn't go that far.

198
00:13:38,022 --> 00:13:40,358
I always say quit on a good shot.

199
00:13:40,525 --> 00:13:42,527
We'll call that lesson #1?

200
00:13:43,319 --> 00:13:44,529
Okay.

201
00:13:45,029 --> 00:13:46,197
And...

202
00:13:47,157 --> 00:13:48,825
...if you wouldn't mind...

203
00:13:48,992 --> 00:13:50,702
...paying me in cash?

204
00:13:51,036 --> 00:13:54,998
There's a little situation
I'm dealing with the IRS.

205
00:13:55,165 --> 00:13:59,544
I got to bob and weave around the
facts of life, if you know what I mean.

206
00:14:00,545 --> 00:14:02,338
Can I ask you a question?

207
00:14:03,006 --> 00:14:06,384
If you're such a legendary
golfer, as everyone says...

208
00:14:06,551 --> 00:14:09,512
...then why are you, at your age,
out here in the sticks...

209
00:14:09,679 --> 00:14:12,682
...operating a barely-solvent
business, ducking the IRS...

210
00:14:12,849 --> 00:14:17,062
...collecting a few dollars for beer
when you're capable of much more?

211
00:14:21,524 --> 00:14:23,902
Perhaps I'm chock-full of inner demons.

212
00:14:25,403 --> 00:14:26,696
No.

213
00:14:26,863 --> 00:14:28,740
You're chock-full of bullshit.

214
00:14:29,699 --> 00:14:30,867
Anyway...

215
00:14:31,034 --> 00:14:32,577
...same time next week?

216
00:14:38,083 --> 00:14:41,252
What'd you mean I should
try being saddled sometime?

217
00:14:43,213 --> 00:14:46,383
Were you being literal or
was that some Freudian deal?

218
00:14:47,092 --> 00:14:48,259
Molly?

219
00:14:48,426 --> 00:14:49,260
Doctor?

220
00:14:49,427 --> 00:14:51,262
What kind of saddle?

221
00:15:17,122 --> 00:15:20,583
David Simms. What the
hell are you doing here?

222
00:15:20,792 --> 00:15:22,377
Hey, there, Romeo.

223
00:15:23,002 --> 00:15:24,170
Been a while.

224
00:15:25,630 --> 00:15:27,090
Tin Cup around?

225
00:15:27,465 --> 00:15:30,593
No, he's in Houston on business.

226
00:15:30,802 --> 00:15:31,594
You know.

227
00:15:32,303 --> 00:15:35,265
I thought you were supposed to
be out on the pro golf tour.

228
00:15:37,976 --> 00:15:42,689
You tell Tin Cup that I'm in town for
my big charity Best Ball Tournament.

229
00:15:43,648 --> 00:15:45,400
I got a spot for him.

230
00:15:45,525 --> 00:15:47,610
If he ever gets back from...

231
00:15:48,486 --> 00:15:50,113
Houston.

232
00:15:50,321 --> 00:15:51,948
Yeah, wherever.

233
00:15:52,407 --> 00:15:53,616
I thought you hated him.

234
00:15:53,825 --> 00:15:56,619
Hell, I haven't even thought
about him in a dozen years.

235
00:15:59,330 --> 00:16:02,292
Not since the good old days at
the University of Houston...

236
00:16:02,542 --> 00:16:05,045
...where we won all
them titles together.

237
00:16:06,004 --> 00:16:07,422
God almighty.

238
00:16:07,714 --> 00:16:10,967
He says he carried you on
his back all them years.

239
00:16:11,176 --> 00:16:14,554
I didn't have much craft
back then, just a little...

240
00:16:14,721 --> 00:16:16,431
...native ability.

241
00:16:17,432 --> 00:16:18,975
Now, old Roy...

242
00:16:19,350 --> 00:16:21,478
...he's a hell of a ball-striker.

243
00:16:21,728 --> 00:16:22,812
What do you want?

244
00:16:24,731 --> 00:16:27,567
- I want to win my own tournament.
- I bet you do.

245
00:16:28,026 --> 00:16:32,155
He can help me if we can behave
like grown-ups together.

246
00:16:33,365 --> 00:16:34,949
You never know.

247
00:16:37,827 --> 00:16:39,245
You tell him that.

248
00:16:39,454 --> 00:16:41,081
I'll be sure to tell him.

249
00:16:42,040 --> 00:16:43,833
What's the catch?

250
00:16:46,961 --> 00:16:48,380
Hello, Cup.

251
00:16:49,381 --> 00:16:51,174
There is no catch.

252
00:16:51,591 --> 00:16:53,259
I put together a tournament...

253
00:16:53,468 --> 00:16:55,970
...with an elite field of players...

254
00:16:56,096 --> 00:16:58,181
...and a half-million dollar purse.

255
00:16:58,598 --> 00:17:01,768
And, by God, I'm tired of seeing
the money head out of town.

256
00:17:01,976 --> 00:17:03,395
Make more birdies.

257
00:17:08,983 --> 00:17:10,902
That's where you come in.

258
00:17:11,111 --> 00:17:12,779
I need you on my team.

259
00:17:13,113 --> 00:17:15,699
Well, I repeat: What's the catch?

260
00:17:15,907 --> 00:17:19,202
We're playing Cottonwood,
where you once shot a 59.

261
00:17:19,411 --> 00:17:22,539
Where you can still
shoot a 65 in your sleep.

262
00:17:22,747 --> 00:17:27,293
You know every bump on the fairway
and every subtle break on every green.

263
00:17:27,794 --> 00:17:29,254
Hot tub, Roy?

264
00:17:31,423 --> 00:17:32,716
It's a spa.

265
00:17:35,093 --> 00:17:37,303
You and me at Cottonwood?

266
00:17:37,804 --> 00:17:39,514
Kind of like old times.

267
00:17:43,518 --> 00:17:44,310
Yeah.

268
00:17:44,519 --> 00:17:47,021
Well, put her there, partner!

269
00:17:47,522 --> 00:17:50,942
These two homeboys will show the
world what golf in Texas is about!

270
00:17:51,818 --> 00:17:54,070
I'll be a birdie-making machine!

271
00:17:55,029 --> 00:17:57,741
Whoa, whoa, wait a minute there, Roy.

272
00:17:57,949 --> 00:18:01,745
I didn't mean I wanted you to play
with me. I want you to caddy.

273
00:18:01,953 --> 00:18:05,248
You know, read the greens,
club me, that kind of stuff.

274
00:18:13,048 --> 00:18:14,090
Caddy?

275
00:18:14,674 --> 00:18:16,259
Come on, Roy.

276
00:18:16,468 --> 00:18:19,554
I can't bring a guy in off the
street to play in my tournament.

277
00:18:21,681 --> 00:18:25,769
For chrissakes, guys, this
has become a big-time event.

278
00:18:26,144 --> 00:18:29,439
Hell, I got corporate sponsors
and 30 bucks a ticket.

279
00:18:29,647 --> 00:18:33,443
This guy off the street can
kick your ass at golf anytime.

280
00:18:33,651 --> 00:18:35,070
Like he did in Junior Golf.

281
00:18:35,195 --> 00:18:37,155
Like he did in... No, fuck it.

282
00:18:40,575 --> 00:18:42,077
I'll give you $100.

283
00:18:42,577 --> 00:18:44,788
And 5% of any earnings.

284
00:18:45,705 --> 00:18:47,457
Get out of here!

285
00:18:47,707 --> 00:18:51,378
Take your pinche color coordinated
sponsored chingada and...

286
00:18:51,586 --> 00:18:54,631
...and take a flying fuck on the...
No, I got it.

287
00:18:58,176 --> 00:18:59,803
I was just offering work.

288
00:19:00,011 --> 00:19:01,137
Thank you very much.

289
00:19:06,393 --> 00:19:07,894
I'll take the job.

290
00:19:08,853 --> 00:19:11,106
Yeah, we'll take the job.

291
00:19:41,845 --> 00:19:44,514
It might be more than
you got in your bag.

292
00:19:44,681 --> 00:19:46,141
I could make that.

293
00:19:49,519 --> 00:19:50,729
Shit.

294
00:19:53,690 --> 00:19:54,733
Is he on?

295
00:19:55,400 --> 00:19:56,568
He's on.

296
00:19:56,860 --> 00:19:58,862
Pretty good shape too.

297
00:19:59,612 --> 00:20:02,866
Tin Cup can do it. I seen
him do it lots of times.

298
00:20:03,575 --> 00:20:06,077
You have extra-large huevos.

299
00:20:22,927 --> 00:20:24,095
Son-of-a-bitch.

300
00:20:24,262 --> 00:20:25,930
I told you.

301
00:20:26,097 --> 00:20:30,393
I had to. Your caddy said he'd
get on the green from here.

302
00:20:32,437 --> 00:20:33,730
I could.

303
00:20:38,902 --> 00:20:41,112
I got to hand it to you, Roy.

304
00:20:41,446 --> 00:20:45,408
For 15 holes, you seemed
to grasp the concept here.

305
00:20:45,575 --> 00:20:49,245
I'm trying to win this tournament
and your job is to help me.

306
00:20:52,415 --> 00:20:53,375
7-iron.

307
00:20:53,583 --> 00:20:54,918
I'm going to lay up.

308
00:20:58,588 --> 00:21:00,965
You can make that shot. Hell, I can.

309
00:21:01,132 --> 00:21:02,258
Easy.

310
00:21:03,593 --> 00:21:08,098
I know I can make this damn shot,
but the smart play is to lay up.

311
00:21:09,265 --> 00:21:13,603
These people didn't pay 30 bucks to see
a tour star lay up on a short par 5.

312
00:21:13,812 --> 00:21:16,606
I'm sitting on a 2-shot
lead with 3 to go.

313
00:21:16,815 --> 00:21:19,275
Thanks to you, my
partner's in his pocket.

314
00:21:19,484 --> 00:21:20,860
Suddenly, par's a hell
of a number to me.

315
00:21:21,403 --> 00:21:23,822
13 years on the tour,
you're still a pussy.

316
00:21:23,988 --> 00:21:28,243
Goddamn it, David, just hit
the fucking 3! Hit it!

317
00:21:28,827 --> 00:21:31,037
13 years in the driving range.

318
00:21:31,246 --> 00:21:34,541
You still think this game is
about your testosterone count.

319
00:21:35,041 --> 00:21:36,251
Back up.

320
00:21:39,754 --> 00:21:42,048
230 to carry, and the tour stars...

321
00:21:42,257 --> 00:21:43,550
...lay it up.

322
00:21:54,769 --> 00:21:56,479
Simms, from the rough.

323
00:21:56,688 --> 00:21:58,064
That's a smart play.

324
00:22:05,697 --> 00:22:07,490
You in a hurry, or what?

325
00:22:07,699 --> 00:22:08,408
Why?

326
00:22:08,575 --> 00:22:11,661
I bet Mickelson and McCord your
caddy can knock it on from here.

327
00:22:13,413 --> 00:22:16,416
Come on, guys, we're trying
to win a tournament here.

328
00:22:16,583 --> 00:22:19,544
We are. But I got 5-1.
I think they're good odds.

329
00:22:19,711 --> 00:22:20,795
He can do it.

330
00:22:21,046 --> 00:22:23,339
Let him hit it, it's only an exhibition.

331
00:22:23,548 --> 00:22:24,507
Come on.

332
00:22:24,799 --> 00:22:26,426
You can do it. I got a ball.

333
00:22:26,718 --> 00:22:27,427
Right here.

334
00:22:28,053 --> 00:22:29,095
Come on.

335
00:22:29,304 --> 00:22:31,431
Balls versus brains.

336
00:22:32,223 --> 00:22:34,100
You hit that shot, keep walking.

337
00:22:34,309 --> 00:22:36,019
'Cause your ass is fired.

338
00:22:44,110 --> 00:22:46,571
How'll you do that in front of everyone?

339
00:22:47,113 --> 00:22:49,324
Especially when I knock it on the green.

340
00:22:49,449 --> 00:22:52,118
It looks like the caddy
wants to hit the shot.

341
00:22:52,827 --> 00:22:54,371
What's going on down there?

342
00:22:54,746 --> 00:22:55,872
Boys...

343
00:22:56,081 --> 00:22:58,333
...things have officially changed here.

344
00:22:58,458 --> 00:23:01,211
Forget the 2-shot lead.
Forget the 3 holes to go.

345
00:23:01,419 --> 00:23:03,213
You need a glove.

346
00:23:03,922 --> 00:23:05,048
It'll help.

347
00:23:05,256 --> 00:23:06,883
Some side action.

348
00:23:07,092 --> 00:23:11,471
And the $250,000 purse has
just gotten a little bigger.

349
00:23:12,430 --> 00:23:15,141
You don't think this guy
can pull this shot off?

350
00:23:15,350 --> 00:23:18,144
I'll tell you, I don't
think there's any chance.

351
00:23:18,353 --> 00:23:21,064
This impending disaster's
a driving range pro.

352
00:23:21,272 --> 00:23:24,401
His name is Roy McAvoy
and he's called Tin Cup.

353
00:23:24,609 --> 00:23:28,405
I'm told he was a pretty good college
player, then went on mini-tours.

354
00:23:28,863 --> 00:23:31,574
He'll have to have been a great
college player to pull this off.

355
00:23:31,783 --> 00:23:34,869
He's got 240 yards, he's a
got a television audience.

356
00:23:34,994 --> 00:23:37,372
And he hasn't hit a golf ball yet.

357
00:23:37,497 --> 00:23:39,457
We don't see this everyday.

358
00:23:39,624 --> 00:23:42,252
National television, no warm-up.

359
00:23:42,460 --> 00:23:44,087
I don't know who this guy is.

360
00:23:44,295 --> 00:23:48,758
If he gets it out of there, I'd be
surprised. A pro I'd give 10-1.

361
00:23:48,967 --> 00:23:50,427
Dollar bills.

362
00:23:54,180 --> 00:23:55,765
He's not that good!

363
00:23:57,183 --> 00:23:59,394
Do you believe this?

364
00:24:02,897 --> 00:24:04,524
What a caddy!

365
00:24:04,691 --> 00:24:07,026
- Great shot.
- Thanks for the glove.

366
00:24:09,404 --> 00:24:10,071
You.

367
00:24:10,155 --> 00:24:12,449
Yeah, you, come here. Come here.

368
00:24:13,658 --> 00:24:14,492
Can you carry that?

369
00:24:15,326 --> 00:24:16,411
Pick it up.

370
00:24:20,415 --> 00:24:21,541
Nice shot.

371
00:24:21,708 --> 00:24:23,543
Come here a second.

372
00:24:24,419 --> 00:24:26,713
Take a hike. The loop's over.

373
00:24:26,921 --> 00:24:28,131
What?

374
00:24:28,339 --> 00:24:29,966
You can't fire me.

375
00:24:32,177 --> 00:24:33,428
How can you?

376
00:24:33,553 --> 00:24:36,306
Hey, I just knocked it stiff from 250.

377
00:24:36,848 --> 00:24:38,475
He's always been a jerk.

378
00:24:38,850 --> 00:24:40,143
What about my money?

379
00:24:40,351 --> 00:24:42,979
You hit the shot that took
you out of the money.

380
00:24:43,188 --> 00:24:45,065
Welcome to life on the tour.

381
00:24:47,025 --> 00:24:49,819
The Sports Machine brings
you a bizarre incident...

382
00:24:50,028 --> 00:24:53,156
...at the charity golf event
with tour star David Simms.

383
00:24:53,448 --> 00:24:54,991
Let's go to west Texas...

384
00:24:55,200 --> 00:24:57,744
...where driving range
pro "Tin Cup" McAvoy...

385
00:24:57,952 --> 00:25:01,081
...serving as a caddy to
David Simms at the celebrity event...

386
00:25:01,247 --> 00:25:04,000
...grabbed the 3-wood
out of his own bag...

387
00:25:04,209 --> 00:25:08,171
...and drilled a 240-yard shot
over water to the 16th green...

388
00:25:08,463 --> 00:25:10,256
If I had to do it over...

389
00:25:11,257 --> 00:25:13,093
...I'd still hit that shot.

390
00:25:13,551 --> 00:25:14,844
I know.

391
00:25:15,762 --> 00:25:19,057
You'd bury yourself alive to
prove you could handle a shovel.

392
00:25:19,265 --> 00:25:21,518
You know why?

393
00:25:23,103 --> 00:25:25,563
It's the only way you
could beat Dave Simms.

394
00:25:25,730 --> 00:25:26,689
No.

395
00:25:27,107 --> 00:25:29,275
'Cause you get that look on your face.

396
00:25:29,484 --> 00:25:31,986
Because that shot was a defining moment.

397
00:25:32,112 --> 00:25:35,782
When a defining moment comes along,
you define the moment...

398
00:25:35,990 --> 00:25:37,992
...or the moment defines you.

399
00:25:38,493 --> 00:25:41,413
I did not shrink from the
challenge, I rose to it.

400
00:25:41,579 --> 00:25:45,709
1981, Fort Washington Golf Club,
Fresno, California, ring a bell?

401
00:25:46,292 --> 00:25:48,628
The final tour-qualifying round?

402
00:25:48,795 --> 00:25:50,797
I was playing to win.

403
00:25:51,631 --> 00:25:55,301
Tried to hit the same impossible
cut 3-wood into the wind.

404
00:25:55,635 --> 00:25:58,722
- I was playing to win.
- 5 in a row, out of bounds.

405
00:25:58,930 --> 00:26:00,557
You finally pulled it off...

406
00:26:00,765 --> 00:26:03,560
...and tapped it in for a
crowd-pleasing 13.

407
00:26:04,018 --> 00:26:06,229
A 12 would have got you on the tour.

408
00:26:06,438 --> 00:26:07,564
Now that...

409
00:26:07,772 --> 00:26:09,399
...was a defining moment.

410
00:26:09,649 --> 00:26:12,110
And the definition was "shit".

411
00:26:12,777 --> 00:26:15,321
Greatness courts failure, Romeo.

412
00:26:15,822 --> 00:26:18,158
You may be right, but you know what?

413
00:26:18,950 --> 00:26:21,411
Sometimes power is good enough to win.

414
00:26:29,586 --> 00:26:31,087
We owe her $12,000.

415
00:26:31,296 --> 00:26:33,173
No, I owe her $12,000.

416
00:26:33,339 --> 00:26:36,176
Fine, you owe her $12,000.
Like it makes a difference.

417
00:26:36,342 --> 00:26:37,552
It does.

418
00:26:37,677 --> 00:26:39,345
I only got one rule:

419
00:26:39,554 --> 00:26:42,474
Never bet money you don't
have on a dog race...

420
00:26:42,640 --> 00:26:45,977
...with an ex-girlfriend who is also
a stripper. You broke that rule.

421
00:26:46,144 --> 00:26:49,647
You need tell her something
nice to start off with.

422
00:26:49,856 --> 00:26:51,858
An ice-breaker. That's not hard.

423
00:26:52,067 --> 00:26:55,362
I'll say something. If it don't
come out right, you say it better.

424
00:26:55,570 --> 00:26:57,280
Doreen's looking for you.

425
00:26:57,489 --> 00:26:58,615
I'll bet.

426
00:27:05,205 --> 00:27:06,289
Tin Cup.

427
00:27:06,498 --> 00:27:08,625
Haven't seen you in 3 days.

428
00:27:08,833 --> 00:27:09,626
Been busy.

429
00:27:11,211 --> 00:27:12,212
Hi, sweetie.

430
00:27:12,379 --> 00:27:13,380
Hi, honey.

431
00:27:20,220 --> 00:27:22,180
That better be you, Roy.

432
00:27:22,347 --> 00:27:24,140
Just be nice.

433
00:27:29,354 --> 00:27:30,480
Doreen...

434
00:27:31,606 --> 00:27:34,818
...you're looking
particularly lovely tonight.

435
00:27:35,110 --> 00:27:37,404
It's nicer than the leopard suit.

436
00:27:37,612 --> 00:27:38,822
Cut the shit.

437
00:27:39,239 --> 00:27:41,116
You owe me $12,000.

438
00:27:41,241 --> 00:27:43,618
We're going to pay it, don't worry.

439
00:27:43,743 --> 00:27:45,328
I know you'll pay me.

440
00:27:45,537 --> 00:27:48,164
12 smackeroos. Where is it?

441
00:27:50,417 --> 00:27:52,502
- There.
- What is this?

442
00:27:53,253 --> 00:27:55,505
With equity and inventory it's worth...

443
00:27:56,131 --> 00:27:58,174
...12 grand, more or less.

444
00:27:58,383 --> 00:28:01,261
This is how you think you'll settle up?

445
00:28:01,428 --> 00:28:03,638
By giving me the driving range?

446
00:28:03,763 --> 00:28:08,268
Only on condition you don't sell
right away, and we keep our jobs.

447
00:28:08,435 --> 00:28:12,188
What in the world would I want
with your stupid driving range?

448
00:28:12,439 --> 00:28:13,648
Equity.

449
00:28:13,773 --> 00:28:14,774
Inventory.

450
00:28:14,941 --> 00:28:15,942
Cash flow.

451
00:28:16,151 --> 00:28:18,862
Plus an enhanced stature
in the community...

452
00:28:19,070 --> 00:28:23,158
...and a pre-paid membership
in Salome Chamber of Commerce.

453
00:28:23,950 --> 00:28:25,452
What are your labor costs?

454
00:28:26,244 --> 00:28:28,163
Everybody gets what they get.

455
00:28:31,291 --> 00:28:33,293
The tractor kid gets four.

456
00:28:34,085 --> 00:28:36,296
The tractor kid gets 5 bucks an hour.

457
00:28:37,464 --> 00:28:39,549
Give me, like, 6.

458
00:28:40,967 --> 00:28:43,178
And Romeo gets 10. Cash.

459
00:28:43,303 --> 00:28:44,763
What do you get?

460
00:28:46,306 --> 00:28:47,474
Me?

461
00:28:47,682 --> 00:28:50,310
To stand around and hit golf balls...

462
00:28:50,477 --> 00:28:53,563
...when you're not breaking for
beers or to gather the guys up...

463
00:28:53,772 --> 00:28:56,066
...to bet on which
crow'll fly off first.

464
00:28:57,192 --> 00:28:59,194
You mean my managerial salary?

465
00:28:59,319 --> 00:29:03,782
I'm referring to every nickel you take
from the till, every bag of nuts.

466
00:29:03,948 --> 00:29:06,201
That is what I'm referring to.

467
00:29:06,326 --> 00:29:08,328
He'll take the deal.

468
00:29:09,788 --> 00:29:11,206
What is the deal?

469
00:29:11,706 --> 00:29:15,418
Let's just say the driving
range is worth $10,000.

470
00:29:15,627 --> 00:29:17,587
You still owe me 2.

471
00:29:53,665 --> 00:29:55,291
She's been here a while.

472
00:29:57,001 --> 00:29:57,961
Am I early?

473
00:29:58,461 --> 00:30:03,174
Mr. McAvoy, I can appreciate that you
have a fairly laid-back lifestyle...

474
00:30:03,341 --> 00:30:04,968
...but I have hours to keep.

475
00:30:05,135 --> 00:30:08,847
All right. A former paramour
once ascribed my...

476
00:30:09,013 --> 00:30:13,017
...fluid sense of time to being
born under the sign of Pisces.

477
00:30:13,184 --> 00:30:16,354
Something about floating
through the universe.

478
00:30:16,521 --> 00:30:18,690
Oh, you amuse me, Roy.

479
00:30:19,023 --> 00:30:23,653
But I'm the only woman born after World
War II who thinks astrology's bullshit.

480
00:30:23,820 --> 00:30:25,864
Let's see if the big dog'll eat.

481
00:30:26,197 --> 00:30:27,323
Waggle.

482
00:30:28,658 --> 00:30:29,492
I'm waggling.

483
00:30:29,576 --> 00:30:30,869
Set up to the ball.

484
00:30:31,661 --> 00:30:32,871
I am.

485
00:30:36,458 --> 00:30:38,960
You're trying to wring the club's neck.

486
00:30:39,502 --> 00:30:40,879
Show a little warmth.

487
00:30:41,171 --> 00:30:42,881
A little compassion.

488
00:30:43,548 --> 00:30:45,675
Remember this game's about trust...

489
00:30:45,842 --> 00:30:46,885
...and touch...

490
00:30:47,677 --> 00:30:49,137
...and letting go.

491
00:30:49,345 --> 00:30:52,557
So while I subtly enhance
your technical prospects...

492
00:30:54,184 --> 00:30:57,228
...why don't you tell me
about your personal life.

493
00:30:57,395 --> 00:30:59,064
That's none of your business.

494
00:31:00,690 --> 00:31:02,400
Your boyfriend's a golfer.

495
00:31:02,567 --> 00:31:03,568
That's my bet.

496
00:31:03,735 --> 00:31:06,029
He's the reason you're learning.

497
00:31:06,529 --> 00:31:08,198
Hell, I probably even know him.

498
00:31:08,281 --> 00:31:09,824
Get your hands off her.

499
00:31:13,078 --> 00:31:14,245
Hi, honey.

500
00:31:15,038 --> 00:31:16,289
Hi, darling.

501
00:31:16,748 --> 00:31:19,959
He's taking her to Miami
for the fucking Doral!

502
00:31:20,335 --> 00:31:22,253
I can't compete with that!

503
00:31:22,420 --> 00:31:24,381
You are having a bad week.

504
00:31:24,589 --> 00:31:26,633
She must think I'm a nothing.

505
00:31:26,841 --> 00:31:31,388
Such a loser, a lousy driving
range pro, living in a Winnebago.

506
00:31:31,596 --> 00:31:33,348
She doesn't know you live here.

507
00:31:33,473 --> 00:31:36,101
She knows I'm not taking
her to no Doral...

508
00:31:36,267 --> 00:31:39,229
...for massages and mimosas all weekend.

509
00:31:40,980 --> 00:31:43,983
- I didn't leave it out.
- Well, I didn't.

510
00:31:46,152 --> 00:31:48,154
I must do something with my life.

511
00:31:48,363 --> 00:31:50,281
You just threw that in the spa.

512
00:31:50,448 --> 00:31:53,493
Must rise to a level worthy of
the women who think I'm a joke.

513
00:31:53,660 --> 00:31:56,621
You could go out and win the
U.S. Open. That'd impress her.

514
00:31:56,996 --> 00:31:58,081
What?

515
00:31:58,289 --> 00:31:59,082
Win the Open.

516
00:31:59,791 --> 00:32:02,085
She'll think, "You're wonderful, Roy."

517
00:32:04,003 --> 00:32:06,172
Romeo, that idea has promise.

518
00:32:06,381 --> 00:32:10,510
The U.S. Open? The biggest
golf tournament in the world?

519
00:32:10,677 --> 00:32:12,637
Not just the biggest...

520
00:32:12,971 --> 00:32:15,932
...the most democratic golf
tournament in the world.

521
00:32:16,141 --> 00:32:18,017
- What do you mean?
- It's open.

522
00:32:18,393 --> 00:32:19,519
So?

523
00:32:19,686 --> 00:32:22,647
Anyone with a 2 handicap or
better's got a shot at it.

524
00:32:22,814 --> 00:32:25,942
You just must get through a local
and sectional qualifier, then like...

525
00:32:26,151 --> 00:32:29,446
...Doral or Colonial or
AT&T, they can't keep you out.

526
00:32:29,904 --> 00:32:33,616
They can't ask you if you're
a garbage man or a...

527
00:32:33,825 --> 00:32:36,536
...driving range pro whose
checks are signed by a stripper.

528
00:32:37,037 --> 00:32:38,997
You qualify, you're in.

529
00:32:39,164 --> 00:32:40,457
You don't got the game.

530
00:32:40,665 --> 00:32:42,292
I got every shot in the book.

531
00:32:42,500 --> 00:32:44,294
I'm talking about the game.

532
00:32:44,502 --> 00:32:47,213
The mental game. La
cabeza, you don't got it.

533
00:32:47,672 --> 00:32:51,551
Since you're the authority,
teach me what I ain't...

534
00:32:51,926 --> 00:32:53,428
...and never will be.

535
00:32:53,553 --> 00:32:56,056
What for? You never listen to me.

536
00:32:56,723 --> 00:32:58,558
This time'll be different.

537
00:32:58,725 --> 00:32:59,976
- Right.
- I promise.

538
00:33:00,185 --> 00:33:04,314
You don't have the money to get
your golf clubs out of hock.

539
00:33:04,689 --> 00:33:05,815
That don't fit.

540
00:33:06,441 --> 00:33:08,234
Don't force it if it don't...

541
00:33:09,861 --> 00:33:12,072
Is that what those things were?

542
00:33:12,238 --> 00:33:13,448
Flowers.

543
00:33:14,532 --> 00:33:18,661
You're going to play me
for $400 with those?

544
00:33:19,037 --> 00:33:21,831
And I'll give you two strokes a side.

545
00:33:22,248 --> 00:33:24,334
You ain't got no 400 bucks.

546
00:33:24,542 --> 00:33:26,086
My car title's collateral.

547
00:33:27,087 --> 00:33:29,964
I ain't interested in
that piece of shit.

548
00:33:31,049 --> 00:33:33,968
That's 'cause you think
of it as transportation.

549
00:33:34,094 --> 00:33:35,970
Think of it as bragging rights.

550
00:33:36,221 --> 00:33:40,767
Think of sitting around the bar crowing
about the Cadillac you won from me.

551
00:33:42,060 --> 00:33:45,105
They'll forget all about the
Winnebago you lost to me.

552
00:33:49,025 --> 00:33:51,236
I'll call the INS on you, you midget.

553
00:33:51,403 --> 00:33:54,239
I'll be playing a pink lady today.

554
00:33:54,531 --> 00:33:57,367
That little pink fag ball
supposed to intimidate me?

555
00:33:58,201 --> 00:34:00,662
Not unless I knock it by you.

556
00:34:01,037 --> 00:34:02,580
Louisville Slugger, please.

557
00:34:11,381 --> 00:34:12,340
I believe you're away.

558
00:34:12,549 --> 00:34:14,259
Don't worry about it.

559
00:34:14,509 --> 00:34:17,011
I thought I caught it on the toe.

560
00:34:21,099 --> 00:34:24,102
You drive for show and you
putt for dough, big mouth.

561
00:34:24,269 --> 00:34:27,105
Did you hear that?
Boone was being profound.

562
00:34:27,272 --> 00:34:29,774
Stay out of the rough. I recommend...

563
00:34:30,108 --> 00:34:31,401
...the shovel.

564
00:34:31,568 --> 00:34:32,902
That's what I think.

565
00:34:39,451 --> 00:34:41,286
I want a legitimate swing.

566
00:34:41,453 --> 00:34:42,787
No scooping.

567
00:34:48,418 --> 00:34:49,794
I'll finish.

568
00:34:54,758 --> 00:34:56,634
Get the hell off my course.

569
00:34:56,968 --> 00:34:58,595
Need a receipt?

570
00:35:00,597 --> 00:35:03,433
You know what I think? She's
got you by the huevos.

571
00:35:03,600 --> 00:35:08,313
Your job is to teach me patience and
humility. Don't advise me on love-life.

572
00:35:08,480 --> 00:35:10,607
Not all my thinking
occurs below the belt.

573
00:35:10,857 --> 00:35:14,319
I stand for a few things besides
my next romantic interlude.

574
00:35:14,486 --> 00:35:18,990
You'll have no trouble telling her you
can't teach her until after the Open.

575
00:35:19,157 --> 00:35:22,494
That'd make an issue out of
something that's not an issue.

576
00:35:22,827 --> 00:35:24,120
Besides, I'm focused.

577
00:35:24,287 --> 00:35:25,246
I am!

578
00:35:25,455 --> 00:35:26,831
This is my quest!

579
00:35:26,998 --> 00:35:30,126
This is my stand for the
guys who've had their...

580
00:35:30,293 --> 00:35:33,254
...fill of soulless
robots like David Simms.

581
00:35:33,838 --> 00:35:35,840
He may be a soulless robot...

582
00:35:36,007 --> 00:35:40,512
...but he's a rich, happy soulless robot
with a beautiful doctor-lady girlfriend.

583
00:35:40,678 --> 00:35:44,015
How'll getting into the Open
change her opinion of you?

584
00:35:44,682 --> 00:35:47,519
It'll show her I'm not
who she thinks I am.

585
00:35:47,685 --> 00:35:50,146
You are who she thinks you are, man!

586
00:35:50,313 --> 00:35:54,150
No, I will not give you time
off to go win the Open.

587
00:35:54,317 --> 00:35:55,985
I don't care if it's your quest.

588
00:35:56,152 --> 00:35:57,696
How about my destiny?

589
00:35:57,862 --> 00:36:01,533
Or your destiny. Or any other term
you remember from Cliff Notes.

590
00:36:01,700 --> 00:36:03,660
That looks stupid.

591
00:36:03,827 --> 00:36:05,370
You get mean, then petty.

592
00:36:05,537 --> 00:36:09,499
If you had been just a little nicer
to me when we were an item...

593
00:36:09,666 --> 00:36:12,377
...then maybe I wouldn't
be such a nasty boss.

594
00:36:12,544 --> 00:36:15,171
I have a business to run.
Bye-bye.

595
00:36:15,338 --> 00:36:18,216
Becky, come here, sweetheart.
Right now, hurry up.

596
00:36:18,383 --> 00:36:22,512
Your natural thing is really sweet,
but we don't do natural here.

597
00:36:22,679 --> 00:36:26,057
We do big and bold, colorful
hair, lots of it. Look at me.

598
00:36:26,224 --> 00:36:27,851
That's what we do.

599
00:36:31,354 --> 00:36:34,691
If you're going to take that
tone then we'll talk later.

600
00:36:34,858 --> 00:36:39,571
I'm sorry, I have things to do.
I don't need to be treated like that.

601
00:36:39,738 --> 00:36:41,573
So, good-bye.

602
00:36:43,408 --> 00:36:47,037
It wouldn't kill you just once
to tell her she's beautiful...

603
00:36:47,203 --> 00:36:49,080
...or that she can dance...

604
00:36:49,247 --> 00:36:50,415
...or she's sexy.

605
00:36:50,582 --> 00:36:54,085
Here I am, ready to charge forth
in pursuit of my destiny...

606
00:36:54,252 --> 00:36:56,755
...and I can't get time
off work to do it.

607
00:36:57,881 --> 00:37:01,092
I'm no expert here, but
it seems to me that...

608
00:37:01,259 --> 00:37:03,762
...the pursuit of destiny
isn't something...

609
00:37:03,928 --> 00:37:06,723
...you need to get off
a $7 per hour job to do.

610
00:37:06,890 --> 00:37:08,933
I'm stuck, man. I'm buried.

611
00:37:09,100 --> 00:37:10,393
I need help.

612
00:37:10,560 --> 00:37:13,229
I need advice. I need counseling.

613
00:37:14,606 --> 00:37:15,774
I need a shrink.

614
00:37:16,066 --> 00:37:17,776
You don't know no shrinks.

615
00:37:18,568 --> 00:37:19,903
I know one.

616
00:37:21,571 --> 00:37:23,948
No, no, no, not the doctor-lady.

617
00:37:24,240 --> 00:37:25,408
Why not?

618
00:37:25,533 --> 00:37:29,537
You can't ask her advice about
the woman you're trying to hose.

619
00:37:30,080 --> 00:37:31,289
Why not?

620
00:38:49,826 --> 00:38:51,202
I didn't say shit!

621
00:38:54,539 --> 00:38:56,875
Get in the other room, please.

622
00:38:58,835 --> 00:39:01,546
Sue Ann, honey, it's okay. Okay.

623
00:39:01,713 --> 00:39:04,382
You're going to be fine.
Take a deep breath.

624
00:39:06,676 --> 00:39:08,636
She was crying when she came out.

625
00:39:08,845 --> 00:39:10,513
So maybe it's something you said...

626
00:39:10,680 --> 00:39:12,640
That's the patient exit room.

627
00:39:12,849 --> 00:39:17,062
I knew it was some kind of room.
There were no magazines.

628
00:39:17,228 --> 00:39:19,230
Why are you here?

629
00:39:20,732 --> 00:39:22,233
Therapy.

630
00:39:23,693 --> 00:39:26,071
You've come for therapy? Okay, look.

631
00:39:26,237 --> 00:39:30,533
You need to make an appointment
because I have a client in half an hour.

632
00:39:30,700 --> 00:39:32,869
That's fine, I'm not that fucked up.

633
00:39:33,370 --> 00:39:36,581
Why don't you just have
a seat right there.

634
00:39:36,748 --> 00:39:38,249
Right over there.

635
00:39:56,226 --> 00:39:58,103
So how do I do it?

636
00:39:59,104 --> 00:40:02,732
Therapy, I mean.
How do I start doing it?

637
00:40:04,776 --> 00:40:08,613
In your parlance, "Kick back
and let the big dog eat."

638
00:40:14,744 --> 00:40:18,790
Suppose there's a guy and he's
standing on the shore of a river...

639
00:40:19,582 --> 00:40:24,462
...and river's full of piranhas,
alligators, eddies, shit like that.

640
00:40:24,629 --> 00:40:27,590
And nobody'll even go
down there to dip a toe.

641
00:40:27,757 --> 00:40:32,637
And on the other side of the river's
a million bucks, on this side a boat.

642
00:40:34,973 --> 00:40:36,808
I guess my question is...

643
00:40:36,975 --> 00:40:40,603
...what would possess
a guy to swim for it?

644
00:40:40,770 --> 00:40:42,105
He's an idiot.

645
00:40:42,272 --> 00:40:44,315
No, see, he's a hell of a swimmer.

646
00:40:44,482 --> 00:40:48,611
His problem is more like why
does he always have to...

647
00:40:48,778 --> 00:40:50,321
...rise to the challenge?

648
00:40:50,488 --> 00:40:52,157
He's a juvenile idiot.

649
00:40:52,240 --> 00:40:54,159
You don't understand.

650
00:40:54,868 --> 00:40:57,996
We're talking about you
and your inner demons.

651
00:40:58,621 --> 00:41:00,915
That human frailty you blather about.

652
00:41:00,999 --> 00:41:03,960
Not some mytho-poetic
metaphor you come up with...

653
00:41:04,335 --> 00:41:07,130
...in a feeble and transparent
effort to do yourself credit.

654
00:41:07,672 --> 00:41:09,799
You're going to make me feel lousy?

655
00:41:10,258 --> 00:41:12,802
I want to feel better. What
kind of therapy is this?

656
00:41:13,178 --> 00:41:17,057
You don't have any inner demons.
You have inner crapola.

657
00:41:17,724 --> 00:41:19,225
Inner debris, garbage...

658
00:41:19,309 --> 00:41:21,811
...horseshit in staggering amounts.

659
00:41:21,895 --> 00:41:24,814
I'm not some just jerk
driving range pro...

660
00:41:24,981 --> 00:41:28,818
...who drinks too much booze,
eats too few vegetables, okay?

661
00:41:29,235 --> 00:41:30,445
Sit down.

662
00:41:30,570 --> 00:41:35,241
You're getting defensive, and I want
you to just tell me why you're here.

663
00:41:37,243 --> 00:41:38,453
A woman.

664
00:41:39,245 --> 00:41:40,455
A woman.

665
00:41:41,247 --> 00:41:42,999
Have you asked her out?

666
00:41:43,458 --> 00:41:45,668
Nah, she's seeing a guy.

667
00:41:45,877 --> 00:41:48,838
But he's a real horse's
ass, if you ask me.

668
00:41:48,880 --> 00:41:51,966
Maybe if you shared your heart
with this woman at dinner...

669
00:41:52,092 --> 00:41:54,469
...these issues would be in the open.

670
00:41:55,762 --> 00:41:57,097
I'm afraid she'll say no.

671
00:41:57,263 --> 00:42:02,018
So, your speeches about swimming
across shark-infested waters...

672
00:42:02,227 --> 00:42:05,105
...are about your golf game and
not about your personal life?

673
00:42:07,107 --> 00:42:07,982
Good, then...

674
00:42:08,108 --> 00:42:10,527
I didn't know we'd get
into my personal life.

675
00:42:10,735 --> 00:42:12,278
This is therapy, Roy.

676
00:42:12,487 --> 00:42:13,530
I know, but...

677
00:42:13,738 --> 00:42:15,699
...I didn't know it was that kind.

678
00:42:15,907 --> 00:42:19,369
Let's make this simple.
Please, sit down right here.

679
00:42:19,994 --> 00:42:24,874
Those risks you love to take on the golf
course you talk so poetically about.

680
00:42:25,417 --> 00:42:29,796
You need to apply those risks to
your personal life as passionately.

681
00:42:30,088 --> 00:42:32,048
I should just ask her out?

682
00:42:32,298 --> 00:42:35,760
And risk coming right over the
top, hooking it out of bounds?

683
00:42:35,927 --> 00:42:37,220
Absolutely, Roy.

684
00:42:37,429 --> 00:42:39,556
- That's good.
- No, I'm sorry.

685
00:42:39,764 --> 00:42:40,807
Look...

686
00:42:41,015 --> 00:42:45,562
...all you must do is walk up to
this woman, look her in the eye...

687
00:42:45,770 --> 00:42:46,730
Look at me.

688
00:42:47,313 --> 00:42:50,316
Look her in the eyes, that's right.
Let down your guard...

689
00:42:50,525 --> 00:42:54,738
...and don't try to be cool,
just be honest and take a risk.

690
00:42:54,946 --> 00:42:57,657
And then, whatever happens,
if you act from the heart...

691
00:42:57,824 --> 00:42:59,576
...you can't make a mistake.

692
00:43:16,843 --> 00:43:18,053
Dr. Griswold...

693
00:43:18,470 --> 00:43:19,429
Yes?

694
00:43:20,138 --> 00:43:22,057
I think I'm in love with you.

695
00:43:22,974 --> 00:43:24,517
From the moment I first saw you...

696
00:43:24,601 --> 00:43:28,438
...I knew I was through with
bar girls and strippers and...

697
00:43:28,646 --> 00:43:31,858
...when you first started talking
I was smitten with you...

698
00:43:32,067 --> 00:43:35,362
...and I'm smitten with you more
every day I think of you and...

699
00:43:35,570 --> 00:43:39,866
...the fact you know I'm full of crapola
makes you more attractive to me.

700
00:43:40,075 --> 00:43:42,619
Usually I can bullshit
people, but not you.

701
00:43:42,827 --> 00:43:45,705
And in addition, you
got great legs and...

702
00:43:46,164 --> 00:43:49,793
...most women I'm thinking about
how to get into their pants, with you...

703
00:43:51,711 --> 00:43:53,088
I'm just...

704
00:43:53,338 --> 00:43:55,590
...thinking about
getting into your heart.

705
00:43:57,592 --> 00:43:58,635
Stunned?

706
00:44:00,345 --> 00:44:01,096
So...

707
00:44:01,221 --> 00:44:04,766
...so what about dinner and
we can talk about us...

708
00:44:04,849 --> 00:44:05,809
...and if we have a future...

709
00:44:05,892 --> 00:44:08,144
...and how to drop that
horse's ass boyfriend of yours.

710
00:44:09,354 --> 00:44:10,647
Slow down.

711
00:44:10,855 --> 00:44:12,649
I'm staring eagle in the face.

712
00:44:12,857 --> 00:44:16,236
Just cut the golf talk, please.
Because this is a mistake.

713
00:44:16,403 --> 00:44:19,572
I'm acting from the heart,
how can that be a mistake?

714
00:44:19,739 --> 00:44:20,657
Right?

715
00:44:20,865 --> 00:44:22,242
Wrong, Roy.

716
00:44:22,409 --> 00:44:24,244
I mean, shit!

717
00:44:24,411 --> 00:44:26,413
I didn't know you meant me.

718
00:44:26,621 --> 00:44:28,415
Would your advice have been different?

719
00:44:36,715 --> 00:44:40,844
This session is over. I have
someone coming soon. Leave.

720
00:44:43,054 --> 00:44:45,014
I take it your answer is no.

721
00:44:45,390 --> 00:44:49,436
Our relationship is and will
remain strictly professional.

722
00:44:51,146 --> 00:44:52,272
That's it?

723
00:44:58,737 --> 00:45:02,782
I'm going to qualify for the U.S.
Open and kick your boyfriend's ass.

724
00:45:07,579 --> 00:45:11,041
Whatever you think of me, you
should know he hates old people...

725
00:45:11,249 --> 00:45:12,709
...children, dogs...

726
00:45:13,168 --> 00:45:16,546
...and that broad's crying
still in the exit room.

727
00:45:16,755 --> 00:45:18,548
You're still in the exit room.

728
00:45:29,184 --> 00:45:29,976
Hello?!

729
00:45:30,310 --> 00:45:32,062
Dr. Kasseldorf?

730
00:45:32,270 --> 00:45:33,396
You're there.

731
00:45:34,105 --> 00:45:38,276
You said to call if something
came up that confused me...

732
00:45:38,568 --> 00:45:42,364
...and shrinks need shrinks...
But, it happened. You said it would.

733
00:45:42,947 --> 00:45:46,409
A patient thinks he's
falling in love with me.

734
00:45:46,576 --> 00:45:49,537
He's not really a patient,
he's my golf pro, but...

735
00:45:49,788 --> 00:45:53,917
I know that under the circumstance I
should recommend another therapist.

736
00:45:54,125 --> 00:45:56,086
But there aren't any in Salome.

737
00:45:56,294 --> 00:46:00,256
He'd have to drive 100 miles
to Midland or Odessa.

738
00:46:00,465 --> 00:46:03,093
I'm not sure you could
count on help there.

739
00:46:03,301 --> 00:46:04,427
Me?

740
00:46:04,636 --> 00:46:07,222
No, my self-esteem is fine.

741
00:46:07,347 --> 00:46:08,848
My self-esteem is fine.

742
00:46:09,641 --> 00:46:11,768
He's a good-looking man.

743
00:46:12,143 --> 00:46:14,354
Green eyes. I don't know, I mean...

744
00:46:14,521 --> 00:46:16,231
That's not the point, is it?

745
00:46:16,356 --> 00:46:17,857
He's, you know...

746
00:46:18,024 --> 00:46:20,026
...he's kind of cute. He's cute.

747
00:46:21,736 --> 00:46:22,362
But...

748
00:47:49,741 --> 00:47:51,534
You got a beautiful swing.

749
00:47:52,452 --> 00:47:54,204
I'm a beautiful guy.

750
00:47:54,913 --> 00:47:57,540
Look, Roy, I came to apologize, okay?

751
00:47:57,749 --> 00:47:58,708
For what?

752
00:47:58,917 --> 00:48:00,627
You did what I said...

753
00:48:00,835 --> 00:48:03,963
...and I poured cold water
over your efforts. I didn't get it.

754
00:48:04,589 --> 00:48:06,966
I'm a terrible shrink, probably.

755
00:48:07,133 --> 00:48:09,386
Should've stayed in real estate.

756
00:48:09,594 --> 00:48:13,848
Actually, I should have never left
Ohio for that cowboy in Amarillo.

757
00:48:14,599 --> 00:48:16,393
Ever been to Amarillo?

758
00:48:16,643 --> 00:48:18,061
Cowboy?

759
00:48:18,353 --> 00:48:22,399
Yeah. It's not as romantic when
you're actually with one, trust me.

760
00:48:22,607 --> 00:48:25,402
So, the oil man in Dallas or Houston,
I don't know where he was from.

761
00:48:25,610 --> 00:48:27,362
Anyway, he looked great.

762
00:48:27,696 --> 00:48:31,950
After that, I went to the Gulf
and ended up in trailer sales.

763
00:48:32,492 --> 00:48:34,577
Then condos in Corpus Christi.

764
00:48:34,953 --> 00:48:39,666
The bottom, just, boom, fell right out
of the market so I needed a new gig.

765
00:48:39,999 --> 00:48:41,501
A new gig?

766
00:48:41,668 --> 00:48:43,253
Yeah, therapy.

767
00:48:43,461 --> 00:48:47,173
I took all the classes.
I'm legitimate. Legal.

768
00:48:47,382 --> 00:48:50,885
Certified. Fuck! I'm certifiable.
I'm really sorry.

769
00:48:51,010 --> 00:48:52,679
Oh, boy.

770
00:48:53,513 --> 00:48:55,265
Can I have a doughnut?

771
00:49:02,981 --> 00:49:03,690
Thanks.

772
00:49:06,651 --> 00:49:07,902
Okay, look...

773
00:49:08,028 --> 00:49:10,530
I am flattered you asked me out.

774
00:49:11,406 --> 00:49:13,783
I can't accept because
I'm involved with David.

775
00:49:13,992 --> 00:49:17,120
I haven't seen him treat old
people, children or dogs badly.

776
00:49:17,495 --> 00:49:18,913
I'm sorry.

777
00:49:19,039 --> 00:49:22,542
I got carried away with the
David thing. I should have...

778
00:49:22,834 --> 00:49:26,212
I just want to make a
proposal, all right?

779
00:49:27,338 --> 00:49:30,467
As long as you understand that
it's strictly professional...

780
00:49:30,675 --> 00:49:32,427
...we're not going out.

781
00:49:32,552 --> 00:49:33,553
Tee it up.

782
00:49:34,429 --> 00:49:37,640
I think I can help you with
the mental aspects of the game.

783
00:49:37,849 --> 00:49:41,478
Romeo is your swing doctor,
I'll be your head doctor.

784
00:49:41,728 --> 00:49:42,645
What?

785
00:49:43,188 --> 00:49:45,982
You just said yourself
you're a crumby shrink.

786
00:49:46,191 --> 00:49:47,984
I can improve, Roy.

787
00:49:48,193 --> 00:49:51,154
I don't have the money to
pay you! I'm broke!

788
00:49:51,363 --> 00:49:55,241
You don't need any money to pay me!
We'll trade services.

789
00:49:56,034 --> 00:49:59,954
I'll give you my services
for golf lessons and...

790
00:50:00,080 --> 00:50:02,665
...I can help you
through the qualifying.

791
00:50:03,875 --> 00:50:06,002
If you make it into the Open...

792
00:50:06,461 --> 00:50:09,172
I'm on my own, you'll be with David.

793
00:50:18,765 --> 00:50:20,100
I don't want this.

794
00:50:28,775 --> 00:50:32,862
Third in the group, playing out
of Salome, Texas: Roy McAvoy.

795
00:51:06,271 --> 00:51:08,398
Ben Hogan, now, who's he?

796
00:51:08,606 --> 00:51:12,819
I find him mildly attractive when he's
obnoxious and arrogant like this.

797
00:51:13,028 --> 00:51:14,154
Oh, good.

798
00:51:14,320 --> 00:51:15,905
That's his best side.

799
00:51:25,165 --> 00:51:26,541
They bugging you?

800
00:51:26,833 --> 00:51:30,920
Way I'm swinging today, nothing bugs
me except insufficient applause.

801
00:51:32,047 --> 00:51:33,590
Give me the lumber.

802
00:51:33,798 --> 00:51:36,092
I think you want to hit the 2-iron.

803
00:51:37,135 --> 00:51:38,928
I said I want the big dog.

804
00:51:39,554 --> 00:51:41,181
You got a tight par 5 here...

805
00:51:41,347 --> 00:51:44,601
...with out of bounds on the left.
The 2-iron seems best.

806
00:51:44,851 --> 00:51:47,771
I'm not going left or right
of those trees, okay?

807
00:51:47,979 --> 00:51:51,566
I'm going over those
trees, with a little draw.

808
00:51:53,068 --> 00:51:55,779
That way I get home in 2. That
way I'm putting for eagle.

809
00:51:56,821 --> 00:51:58,948
You don't need an eagle to qualify.

810
00:51:59,157 --> 00:52:00,867
Practice playing it safe.

811
00:52:01,076 --> 00:52:03,078
- No mistakes wins the Open.
- I want the course record.

812
00:52:03,203 --> 00:52:04,371
The lumber.

813
00:52:07,999 --> 00:52:09,876
You won't listen to me, will you?

814
00:52:10,710 --> 00:52:13,296
Even when I'm trying to help you, man.

815
00:52:14,506 --> 00:52:15,715
After all these years you
think I'm full of shit?

816
00:52:15,882 --> 00:52:17,967
I'll get penalized for slow play.

817
00:52:18,176 --> 00:52:19,594
Give me the driver.

818
00:52:19,719 --> 00:52:23,473
You're a head case. You always
have been, always will be.

819
00:52:23,681 --> 00:52:24,808
Let's ask her.

820
00:52:25,016 --> 00:52:26,226
Dr. Griswold.

821
00:52:29,521 --> 00:52:31,606
Should I hit the big dog or the 2?

822
00:52:32,023 --> 00:52:34,984
Soliciting shot selection
advice is a 2 stroke penalty.

823
00:52:36,111 --> 00:52:37,487
Trust your feelings.

824
00:52:37,696 --> 00:52:40,240
Now give me the driver and shut up.

825
00:52:43,702 --> 00:52:44,828
The driver?

826
00:52:45,036 --> 00:52:45,995
Fine.

827
00:52:46,621 --> 00:52:47,622
Here.

828
00:52:48,123 --> 00:52:50,125
Hit the driver, Tin Cup.

829
00:52:55,714 --> 00:52:58,258
I changed my mind. Give me the 3-wood.

830
00:52:59,134 --> 00:53:01,678
You can't throw that
dog leg with a 3-wood.

831
00:53:01,886 --> 00:53:03,138
You want to bet?

832
00:53:05,140 --> 00:53:07,017
Fine, take the 3-wood.

833
00:53:07,225 --> 00:53:10,270
Take it and show me
what a golf pro does.

834
00:53:16,234 --> 00:53:18,778
Guess I'm going with
the safe shot, boys.

835
00:53:21,072 --> 00:53:23,950
But, you know, sometimes I fan that 2.

836
00:53:26,161 --> 00:53:28,204
You better give me the 3.

837
00:53:28,538 --> 00:53:30,373
Is this normal behavior?

838
00:53:30,540 --> 00:53:34,044
The word normal and him don't
often collide in the same sentence.

839
00:53:36,463 --> 00:53:39,674
And sometimes I catch
that 3 a little thin too.

840
00:53:40,175 --> 00:53:42,302
- Don't do this.
- I've hit flies with the 4.

841
00:53:43,553 --> 00:53:45,180
Hit the damn ball.

842
00:53:45,305 --> 00:53:47,182
I've hooked my 5.

843
00:53:47,807 --> 00:53:49,309
I've shanked the 6.

844
00:53:49,476 --> 00:53:51,978
Sculled the 8. Fatted the 9.

845
00:53:52,187 --> 00:53:53,229
Chili-dipped the wedge.

846
00:53:54,105 --> 00:53:55,732
And I've bladed the sand.

847
00:53:56,775 --> 00:53:58,193
Putter?

848
00:53:58,943 --> 00:54:01,571
There is Mr. 3-Wiggle, isn't there?

849
00:54:06,493 --> 00:54:08,495
But then there's the 7-iron.

850
00:54:09,287 --> 00:54:11,706
I never miss with the 7-iron.

851
00:54:16,211 --> 00:54:18,838
It's the only truly safe club in my bag.

852
00:54:21,007 --> 00:54:23,593
The bag's lighter. You happy?

853
00:54:23,968 --> 00:54:25,720
No, I'm not happy, man.

854
00:54:26,304 --> 00:54:27,764
I'm tired!

855
00:54:29,140 --> 00:54:33,520
My life's too short to watch you blow
up all... I've done it too many times.

856
00:54:34,813 --> 00:54:35,605
Quitting?

857
00:54:36,981 --> 00:54:38,775
Goddamn!

858
00:54:39,526 --> 00:54:42,028
First sign of adversity, you quit.

859
00:54:42,362 --> 00:54:46,032
God! First time you can
qualify for the Open!

860
00:54:46,241 --> 00:54:47,867
What's wrong with you?

861
00:54:49,994 --> 00:54:52,622
Who wants to bet I can't
par with a 7-iron?

862
00:54:56,042 --> 00:54:57,293
Anybody?

863
00:55:02,006 --> 00:55:03,466
Take the bet.

864
00:55:03,633 --> 00:55:05,760
Shut up and hit the ball!

865
00:55:28,074 --> 00:55:29,784
You the man, Cup.

866
00:56:14,120 --> 00:56:15,622
Thank you, boys.

867
00:56:21,878 --> 00:56:25,382
What do you think my best shot was?
The 7-iron on 12?

868
00:56:25,590 --> 00:56:28,343
- That was a good one.
- Or was it 7-iron on 14?

869
00:56:28,468 --> 00:56:29,844
That was better.

870
00:56:29,969 --> 00:56:34,474
What about that bunker shot on 18
which to my recollection was a 7-iron.

871
00:56:34,641 --> 00:56:35,975
Yes, it was!

872
00:56:36,142 --> 00:56:37,143
All good.

873
00:56:37,352 --> 00:56:38,228
You're the man.

874
00:56:38,895 --> 00:56:39,729
Hey, Doc!

875
00:56:41,981 --> 00:56:43,233
How'd I do?

876
00:56:43,733 --> 00:56:45,735
You failed miserably.

877
00:56:45,902 --> 00:56:47,570
What're you talking about?

878
00:56:47,737 --> 00:56:49,489
I qualified for the sectionals.

879
00:56:49,656 --> 00:56:50,573
You did.

880
00:56:50,740 --> 00:56:51,491
I did.

881
00:56:51,908 --> 00:56:53,076
With a 7-iron.

882
00:56:53,451 --> 00:56:54,494
Yes, siree.

883
00:56:54,661 --> 00:56:58,581
Look, your job isn't just
to qualify for the Open.

884
00:56:58,748 --> 00:57:00,583
It's to prepare for the Open.

885
00:57:00,750 --> 00:57:03,169
My job is to help you prepare.

886
00:57:03,878 --> 00:57:06,589
Now, you said trust my feelings.
I did.

887
00:57:07,173 --> 00:57:10,385
I didn't know you felt like
breaking all your clubs...

888
00:57:10,510 --> 00:57:12,595
...and getting in a contest
with your caddy.

889
00:57:12,762 --> 00:57:13,888
Who quit.

890
00:57:14,013 --> 00:57:15,432
He always quits.

891
00:57:17,142 --> 00:57:18,101
He ought to be here.

892
00:57:18,393 --> 00:57:19,102
To the quitter.

893
00:57:21,021 --> 00:57:22,105
The little quitter.

894
00:57:22,772 --> 00:57:23,690
Nonetheless.

895
00:57:23,898 --> 00:57:25,191
Nonetheless...

896
00:57:25,900 --> 00:57:28,945
...from the mental aspect,
which is my domain...

897
00:57:29,195 --> 00:57:31,031
...you've regressed.

898
00:57:31,531 --> 00:57:34,200
And are fumbling between
delusion and denial.

899
00:57:34,409 --> 00:57:36,286
Regression, delusion, denial.

900
00:57:36,494 --> 00:57:39,289
Why must you use all the
psychological language?

901
00:57:40,707 --> 00:57:42,125
Having a bad day?

902
00:57:44,044 --> 00:57:44,961
No.

903
00:57:45,170 --> 00:57:46,296
Hi, honey.

904
00:57:49,424 --> 00:57:50,425
Shot a 65.

905
00:57:52,218 --> 00:57:54,429
Parred the backside with a 7-iron.

906
00:57:55,180 --> 00:57:56,056
Why?

907
00:57:56,222 --> 00:57:59,142
Yeah, that's exactly right.
That's the question, "Why?"

908
00:57:59,351 --> 00:58:01,436
Because he broke his other clubs.

909
00:58:02,228 --> 00:58:03,480
Snapped them in two.

910
00:58:04,356 --> 00:58:06,232
- Jesus.
- Not all of them.

911
00:58:06,441 --> 00:58:07,984
Romeo broke two.

912
00:58:10,445 --> 00:58:12,155
I'm on your side here.

913
00:58:12,364 --> 00:58:13,990
We go way back.

914
00:58:14,199 --> 00:58:17,327
I hope you qualify for the Open.
But if you do...

915
00:58:17,535 --> 00:58:19,746
...you better play with control...

916
00:58:19,996 --> 00:58:21,998
...or you'll get slaughtered.

917
00:58:22,165 --> 00:58:25,585
Good players shoot an 82 in the Open.

918
00:58:26,086 --> 00:58:27,587
You see...

919
00:58:27,754 --> 00:58:30,173
...it means you just can't go for it.

920
00:58:30,590 --> 00:58:34,511
I swear to God, this guy is
not who you think he is.

921
00:58:34,719 --> 00:58:36,262
It's a known fact...

922
00:58:36,471 --> 00:58:39,349
...if a camera's not on him he treats
old people and kids like dirt.

923
00:58:39,557 --> 00:58:40,517
And dogs.

924
00:58:40,850 --> 00:58:42,102
Jesus.

925
00:58:42,394 --> 00:58:44,354
Yeah, don't forget dogs.

926
00:58:44,979 --> 00:58:48,274
Okay, guys. You know what?
We better go. Come on.

927
00:58:48,483 --> 00:58:49,776
I guess so.

928
00:58:51,569 --> 00:58:53,780
You ever shoot par with a 7-iron?

929
00:58:56,616 --> 00:58:58,368
Hell, Roy...

930
00:58:58,576 --> 00:59:00,787
...it never occurred to me to try.

931
00:59:02,038 --> 00:59:05,542
I bet you $1,000 against my car
that I can beat you any game.

932
00:59:07,877 --> 00:59:09,045
Any game...

933
00:59:09,212 --> 00:59:10,380
...any golf club.

934
00:59:11,589 --> 00:59:14,008
Come on, Roy, this is ridiculous.

935
00:59:14,134 --> 00:59:15,385
Chicken?

936
00:59:21,599 --> 00:59:25,562
What, are you going to lay up
the way you did in the Masters?

937
00:59:35,030 --> 00:59:36,740
Any game, I name it?

938
00:59:37,240 --> 00:59:41,161
No, it's okay. I'm just going
to teach old Roy here a lesson.

939
00:59:41,536 --> 00:59:45,040
Why do men insist on
measuring their dicks?

940
00:59:49,627 --> 00:59:51,421
All right, let's measure.

941
00:59:52,797 --> 00:59:56,092
Roy! For God's sakes
I wasn't being literal!

942
00:59:56,551 --> 00:59:58,178
David, let's go.

943
00:59:58,344 --> 01:00:00,680
Wait. Molly, I got this one.

944
01:00:01,097 --> 01:00:05,185
We'll just call this Roy's mental
preparation for the U.S. Opening.

945
01:00:05,352 --> 01:00:09,356
Where the rough is deep, the greens
slick, and the nerves shattered.

946
01:00:09,856 --> 01:00:11,358
I'll take the bet.

947
01:00:16,696 --> 01:00:18,073
What's the game?

948
01:00:18,198 --> 01:00:20,200
Your 7-iron, Roy.

949
01:00:21,868 --> 01:00:23,453
One swing each.

950
01:00:23,828 --> 01:00:25,455
Whoever hits the longest.

951
01:00:26,831 --> 01:00:27,874
It's a lock.

952
01:00:28,083 --> 01:00:31,211
I hit the 7-iron like
John Daly hits the 3.

953
01:00:31,378 --> 01:00:33,088
Winner, winner, chicken dinner!

954
01:00:38,510 --> 01:00:39,636
Here okay?

955
01:00:39,886 --> 01:00:40,970
Fine.

956
01:00:42,305 --> 01:00:44,808
You guys are really being childish.

957
01:00:44,974 --> 01:00:46,101
Leave it to me.

958
01:00:46,518 --> 01:00:48,144
I know what I'm doing.

959
01:00:48,687 --> 01:00:51,147
You know what? I'll
see you both in the bar.

960
01:00:51,314 --> 01:00:52,232
Bye.

961
01:00:56,903 --> 01:00:58,238
Dollar bills.

962
01:01:04,244 --> 01:01:07,330
Them signs are at
least 30 yards further.

963
01:01:07,497 --> 01:01:09,833
That ball must have gone 220.

964
01:01:09,999 --> 01:01:11,918
Nah, 227.

965
01:01:12,919 --> 01:01:14,629
I toed it, but it'll do!

966
01:01:14,754 --> 01:01:17,006
- That's 227.
- Take your time.

967
01:01:17,173 --> 01:01:19,342
Limber up, fine with me.

968
01:01:20,927 --> 01:01:22,345
That's all right.

969
01:01:22,512 --> 01:01:23,763
I don't need to.

970
01:01:24,931 --> 01:01:26,516
Take your jacket off.

971
01:01:27,434 --> 01:01:28,643
I'm fine.

972
01:01:28,768 --> 01:01:32,439
You'll have to muscle up to get
it out there, give it the old...

973
01:01:32,939 --> 01:01:34,524
...steroid jerk!

974
01:01:42,157 --> 01:01:43,950
What the hell is he doing?

975
01:02:05,680 --> 01:02:08,391
He hit it down the
fucking road, didn't he?

976
01:02:08,808 --> 01:02:10,477
It's still going.

977
01:02:20,945 --> 01:02:23,990
You the man, Roy. You the man.

978
01:02:25,075 --> 01:02:27,077
You are definitely the man.

979
01:02:28,828 --> 01:02:29,829
So long!

980
01:02:29,996 --> 01:02:32,499
And the man needs a ride home.

981
01:02:39,547 --> 01:02:41,383
I always liked that car.

982
01:02:59,401 --> 01:03:01,444
I wish Romeo were here.

983
01:03:01,611 --> 01:03:03,613
I'm not cut out for this shit.

984
01:03:03,822 --> 01:03:05,573
I'm an observer by nature.

985
01:03:05,907 --> 01:03:07,450
Earl, shut up.

986
01:03:07,617 --> 01:03:08,952
Give me the big dog.

987
01:03:09,452 --> 01:03:10,620
Big dog!

988
01:03:10,829 --> 01:03:13,081
I thought that was the big fucking dog.

989
01:03:44,863 --> 01:03:46,948
Here, let me carry that.

990
01:03:57,333 --> 01:03:59,294
- You all right?
- Aw, shit.

991
01:04:00,795 --> 01:04:02,297
Give me the bag.

992
01:04:02,464 --> 01:04:03,298
No.

993
01:04:04,049 --> 01:04:05,300
All right.

994
01:04:09,346 --> 01:04:10,638
Get him.

995
01:04:18,313 --> 01:04:21,149
Like a million others you
made in your life, Roy.

996
01:04:21,983 --> 01:04:23,860
Just see it going in.

997
01:04:25,070 --> 01:04:26,488
Just feel it.

998
01:04:27,489 --> 01:04:29,657
Right in the back of the jar.

999
01:04:55,350 --> 01:04:56,726
Lord

1000
01:04:58,478 --> 01:05:01,022
I can't afford to lose

1001
01:05:15,245 --> 01:05:17,205
Romes, you come back!

1002
01:05:18,707 --> 01:05:20,542
You should've been there.

1003
01:05:20,709 --> 01:05:23,378
I drained a 30-foot snake to qualify.

1004
01:05:23,545 --> 01:05:27,549
Earl gives me the straight read,
thing breaks half a dozen times.

1005
01:05:28,883 --> 01:05:31,553
I missed you, pods. I missed you.

1006
01:05:33,555 --> 01:05:36,057
Okay, don't talk. You're still my guy.

1007
01:05:38,935 --> 01:05:42,397
It's a little late to be pissed off.
We're in the Open.

1008
01:05:42,897 --> 01:05:44,274
You and me.

1009
01:05:46,776 --> 01:05:48,403
Fine, be like that.

1010
01:05:49,571 --> 01:05:50,905
Molly been around?

1011
01:05:51,614 --> 01:05:53,950
Neither her nor me or the god of golf...

1012
01:05:54,159 --> 01:05:56,953
...will keep you from
blowing up in the Open.

1013
01:05:57,162 --> 01:05:58,788
I made it this far.

1014
01:05:58,955 --> 01:06:03,418
Didn't I? Didn't I? All I must do is
hold it together for 72 more holes.

1015
01:06:03,793 --> 01:06:07,255
There's a lot of triple-bogies
waiting to grab your white ass.

1016
01:06:07,422 --> 01:06:10,133
You complaining again?
Is that what I hear?

1017
01:06:10,300 --> 01:06:11,634
Shut up.

1018
01:06:12,135 --> 01:06:15,388
You're back whining, pissing,
moaning. You're back.

1019
01:06:16,556 --> 01:06:17,599
You're my man.

1020
01:06:18,308 --> 01:06:21,061
What, you didn't fall in love
with Earl to be your caddy.

1021
01:06:22,062 --> 01:06:24,314
He's a heart attack waiting to happen.

1022
01:06:24,481 --> 01:06:26,733
Cost me 3 strokes a side.

1023
01:06:27,150 --> 01:06:29,903
Hell, I had to carry the
bag the last 4 holes.

1024
01:06:33,740 --> 01:06:34,741
Look...

1025
01:06:34,991 --> 01:06:37,077
...I love old Earl, but...

1026
01:06:37,243 --> 01:06:38,578
...I need you.

1027
01:06:39,996 --> 01:06:41,247
You don't love me?

1028
01:06:42,791 --> 01:06:46,503
Well, yeah, yeah, I love
you too, goddamn it.

1029
01:06:47,003 --> 01:06:48,630
As much as Earl?

1030
01:06:49,297 --> 01:06:50,799
I don't know!

1031
01:06:51,132 --> 01:06:53,802
When I was with Earl,
I was thinking of you.

1032
01:06:57,639 --> 01:06:59,641
Yes, as much as Earl.

1033
01:06:59,849 --> 01:07:01,309
More than Earl.

1034
01:07:02,811 --> 01:07:04,479
More than Earl.

1035
01:07:05,814 --> 01:07:07,023
Am I special?

1036
01:07:10,485 --> 01:07:12,654
If you remove the sexual overtones...

1037
01:07:12,821 --> 01:07:15,365
...and add a golf theme, then, Romeo...

1038
01:07:15,532 --> 01:07:17,367
...I am your Juliet.

1039
01:07:21,162 --> 01:07:22,497
In that case...

1040
01:07:22,872 --> 01:07:24,207
...Julieta...

1041
01:07:24,958 --> 01:07:26,626
...I am your caddy.

1042
01:07:35,844 --> 01:07:37,637
Nobody's heard from Molly?

1043
01:07:37,804 --> 01:07:39,305
You got it bad?

1044
01:07:39,723 --> 01:07:41,641
Something about that chick.

1045
01:07:47,230 --> 01:07:49,149
Little chili-dipper there.

1046
01:07:49,315 --> 01:07:52,152
Be sure to do that in the
Open, it'll impress them.

1047
01:08:01,828 --> 01:08:02,996
I'm watching.

1048
01:08:03,163 --> 01:08:04,205
That ain't a chili-dipper.

1049
01:08:04,414 --> 01:08:08,001
Looks like you got el hosel.
You know, the laterals.

1050
01:08:08,168 --> 01:08:09,419
The "S" word.

1051
01:08:09,586 --> 01:08:10,837
What's wrong?

1052
01:08:11,004 --> 01:08:13,757
I don't know. The shanks are
like a virus. They just show up.

1053
01:08:13,923 --> 01:08:15,592
Nobody can figure them out.

1054
01:08:25,518 --> 01:08:27,270
Something's terribly wrong!

1055
01:08:27,604 --> 01:08:29,439
Something's wrong.

1056
01:08:29,606 --> 01:08:31,024
It's okay.

1057
01:08:31,358 --> 01:08:32,359
Well?

1058
01:08:32,859 --> 01:08:34,277
What's your guess?

1059
01:08:34,444 --> 01:08:36,279
It must be the woman.

1060
01:08:36,446 --> 01:08:37,697
You said a virus.

1061
01:08:37,864 --> 01:08:40,200
A woman can have the same effect.

1062
01:08:41,534 --> 01:08:43,370
What do I do?

1063
01:08:46,456 --> 01:08:48,291
Just keep swinging.

1064
01:08:48,458 --> 01:08:50,043
You'll be fine.

1065
01:08:58,885 --> 01:09:00,804
Don't say a fucking word.

1066
01:09:07,894 --> 01:09:09,729
I'll be inside if you need me.

1067
01:09:21,157 --> 01:09:22,826
Just work it out.

1068
01:09:57,027 --> 01:09:58,486
Hello?

1069
01:09:58,862 --> 01:10:00,447
Is anybody home?

1070
01:10:07,704 --> 01:10:08,663
My God!

1071
01:10:13,877 --> 01:10:16,046
Therapist laughs at the patient?

1072
01:10:16,880 --> 01:10:18,298
Is that how it works?

1073
01:10:18,798 --> 01:10:19,841
Is it?

1074
01:10:20,633 --> 01:10:24,054
A man's laid bare before God,
he's the butt of the cosmic joke.

1075
01:10:24,220 --> 01:10:25,347
I'm sorry.

1076
01:10:25,555 --> 01:10:26,473
Really.

1077
01:10:26,639 --> 01:10:29,642
Some of this shit might
actually work, you know.

1078
01:10:30,226 --> 01:10:32,187
There's something to this hat.

1079
01:10:32,562 --> 01:10:34,814
The golf ball pendulum thing.

1080
01:10:35,815 --> 01:10:37,067
May be onto something.

1081
01:10:37,233 --> 01:10:39,194
Oh, Jesus, Roy.

1082
01:10:39,569 --> 01:10:44,324
Quoting yourself, "It is a paraphernalia
for lost and desperate souls."

1083
01:10:45,825 --> 01:10:49,329
A lost and desperate
soul stands before you.

1084
01:10:50,163 --> 01:10:54,667
I assume I have the confidentiality
of the doctor/client...

1085
01:10:55,085 --> 01:10:57,003
...privilege in regard to this outfit?

1086
01:10:57,170 --> 01:10:58,213
Of course.

1087
01:10:58,505 --> 01:10:59,839
What happened?

1088
01:11:02,842 --> 01:11:04,386
I got the shanks.

1089
01:11:04,594 --> 01:11:06,012
Are you taking penicillin?

1090
01:11:06,179 --> 01:11:08,348
There's a glitch in my swing.

1091
01:11:08,515 --> 01:11:10,350
That's Romeo's department.

1092
01:11:10,517 --> 01:11:12,519
He thinks it's your department.

1093
01:11:13,019 --> 01:11:14,354
Says it's a head thing.

1094
01:11:16,106 --> 01:11:20,068
I just came over to congratulate
you on the sectionals and...

1095
01:11:20,276 --> 01:11:22,237
...to return your car.

1096
01:11:22,445 --> 01:11:24,197
David just wanted to make a point.

1097
01:11:25,198 --> 01:11:26,741
You know what?

1098
01:11:26,950 --> 01:11:31,871
I suppose we could have a therapy
session right here and now.

1099
01:11:33,373 --> 01:11:35,125
I don't want therapy.

1100
01:11:36,960 --> 01:11:38,545
I want you.

1101
01:11:43,299 --> 01:11:44,759
I want you.

1102
01:11:45,969 --> 01:11:47,887
I must get some air.

1103
01:11:50,640 --> 01:11:51,766
Molly, wait.

1104
01:11:53,393 --> 01:11:54,644
Look at me.

1105
01:11:58,231 --> 01:12:01,234
Well, not at the moment,
but just listen to me.

1106
01:12:05,572 --> 01:12:07,323
You're with the wrong guy.

1107
01:12:08,074 --> 01:12:09,617
I'm the right guy.

1108
01:12:12,328 --> 01:12:15,290
Everyone says my face is
screwed up tight as a drum.

1109
01:12:15,498 --> 01:12:19,252
I know it's because I've
been crazy about you...

1110
01:12:19,419 --> 01:12:22,255
...from the moment you came
here wearing this stupid shit.

1111
01:12:23,256 --> 01:12:27,761
The whole thing's inspired me to get
here and caused me to get the shanks...

1112
01:12:27,927 --> 01:12:31,931
...which would humiliate me in front
of a billion people in a game...

1113
01:12:32,265 --> 01:12:34,267
...I used to play pretty good.

1114
01:12:35,685 --> 01:12:37,437
Such is life.

1115
01:12:40,690 --> 01:12:44,944
So dump that phony bastard you're with
and come to the Open in my corner.

1116
01:12:46,029 --> 01:12:46,780
Tell me...

1117
01:12:47,614 --> 01:12:49,866
...you're not just at least...

1118
01:12:50,450 --> 01:12:52,285
...moderately attracted to me.

1119
01:12:53,370 --> 01:12:55,497
You have moments, Roy.

1120
01:12:55,705 --> 01:12:59,793
You tell me which ones are my
moments and I'll duplicate them.

1121
01:13:00,210 --> 01:13:01,628
This is a moment.

1122
01:13:01,795 --> 01:13:02,796
Now?

1123
01:13:03,380 --> 01:13:07,008
I mean, just utterly exposed,
completely vulnerable...

1124
01:13:07,467 --> 01:13:09,219
...inner child trying to get out.

1125
01:13:09,386 --> 01:13:11,846
Yeah? My inner child needs a spanking?

1126
01:13:21,064 --> 01:13:22,982
I don't have a car.

1127
01:13:23,400 --> 01:13:24,818
Need a ride.

1128
01:13:41,376 --> 01:13:45,380
I know a little spot along the
river that's great to watch sunsets.

1129
01:13:45,588 --> 01:13:46,923
- I do.
- Watch the road.

1130
01:13:47,090 --> 01:13:50,760
- I know a spot that's great for sunsets.
- I bet you do.

1131
01:13:51,094 --> 01:13:52,679
Not tonight.

1132
01:13:54,180 --> 01:13:56,433
That means maybe some other night.

1133
01:13:56,599 --> 01:13:58,184
I didn't mean it like that.

1134
01:13:58,351 --> 01:14:01,688
Maybe consciously you didn't mean
it that way, but unconsciously...

1135
01:14:02,522 --> 01:14:05,025
Did you mean it unconsciously?

1136
01:14:06,026 --> 01:14:09,779
Unconsciously, I don't have a
clue what I'm talking about.

1137
01:14:10,613 --> 01:14:12,699
I feel we're making progress.

1138
01:14:12,866 --> 01:14:14,034
I do too.

1139
01:14:14,367 --> 01:14:18,038
I have no idea what it's
progress towards, though.

1140
01:14:18,371 --> 01:14:20,874
Consciously or unconsciously?

1141
01:14:39,059 --> 01:14:42,395
It may not be much of a
river to you, but to me...

1142
01:14:43,313 --> 01:14:45,774
...the Mississippi, the Rio Grande...

1143
01:14:46,399 --> 01:14:48,151
...the Danube...

1144
01:14:48,401 --> 01:14:49,736
...the Amazon.

1145
01:14:49,903 --> 01:14:52,572
I don't know about the Amazon, Roy.

1146
01:14:55,742 --> 01:14:58,745
Isn't it obvious to you
that you and me are...

1147
01:14:58,912 --> 01:15:00,830
...as comfortable together as...

1148
01:15:00,997 --> 01:15:02,248
...a couple of old shoes?

1149
01:15:03,583 --> 01:15:05,126
Old shoes?

1150
01:15:09,923 --> 01:15:12,759
Look, David's a really good person.

1151
01:15:15,845 --> 01:15:19,182
Whenever anybody says they're
with a really good person...

1152
01:15:19,516 --> 01:15:22,102
...it means they're about to leave them.

1153
01:15:22,435 --> 01:15:24,604
You're awfully judgmental.

1154
01:15:29,693 --> 01:15:32,153
It's one of my few redeeming virtues.

1155
01:15:34,197 --> 01:15:36,616
David's involved in a
lot of charity work.

1156
01:15:36,783 --> 01:15:40,036
- Gets his name in the papers.
- Let me just finish.

1157
01:15:40,203 --> 01:15:42,622
Many people don't see he's sensitive.

1158
01:15:42,789 --> 01:15:44,791
Well, so am I. I mean, hell...

1159
01:15:44,958 --> 01:15:48,795
Shit, I'm twice as sensitive
as he is. I mean, I...

1160
01:15:49,462 --> 01:15:51,798
I brought you to the river.
That's a...

1161
01:15:51,965 --> 01:15:53,466
...nature kind of thing.

1162
01:15:54,968 --> 01:15:59,514
It is a nature kind of thing.
It's a very nice river. Thank you.

1163
01:16:00,473 --> 01:16:03,977
But that's not the point. The point
is David is there for me.

1164
01:16:04,144 --> 01:16:05,311
Oh, God.

1165
01:16:05,478 --> 01:16:06,896
Not the...

1166
01:16:07,063 --> 01:16:10,400
..."He's a very good person
and he's there for me" thing.

1167
01:16:10,650 --> 01:16:12,068
Let me be your shrink.

1168
01:16:12,235 --> 01:16:13,903
That's not a good idea.

1169
01:16:14,070 --> 01:16:16,656
You sound like a woman
looking for a way out.

1170
01:16:20,243 --> 01:16:21,494
Warm?

1171
01:16:23,580 --> 01:16:25,165
That's enough, Roy.

1172
01:16:28,752 --> 01:16:29,878
I'm sorry.

1173
01:16:45,018 --> 01:16:46,561
We could kiss.

1174
01:16:47,187 --> 01:16:50,023
No, look, no harm, no foul just a...

1175
01:16:50,440 --> 01:16:52,901
...little, small, innocent kind of...

1176
01:16:53,109 --> 01:16:54,235
...kind of...

1177
01:16:55,111 --> 01:16:56,571
...semi...

1178
01:16:57,280 --> 01:16:58,615
...platonic...

1179
01:17:02,869 --> 01:17:05,413
Roy, there's no such thing as...

1180
01:17:05,622 --> 01:17:07,749
...semi-platonic, Roy.

1181
01:17:09,626 --> 01:17:11,044
There ought to be.

1182
01:17:15,048 --> 01:17:17,050
You should take me home.

1183
01:17:44,828 --> 01:17:45,453
Well...

1184
01:17:46,746 --> 01:17:48,665
Good luck in the Open.

1185
01:19:46,199 --> 01:19:47,867
It's got your name on it.

1186
01:19:49,369 --> 01:19:51,788
It's Lee Janzen and Billy Mayfair.

1187
01:19:53,623 --> 01:19:55,542
They look just like they do on TV.

1188
01:19:55,709 --> 01:19:56,710
Look.

1189
01:19:59,713 --> 01:20:01,214
Look at these balls.

1190
01:20:01,631 --> 01:20:03,049
Brand-new Titleist.

1191
01:20:03,633 --> 01:20:04,718
Look at them.

1192
01:20:04,884 --> 01:20:07,137
Every one of them, brand-new Titleist.

1193
01:20:08,722 --> 01:20:10,765
Sneak a few in the bag.

1194
01:20:11,224 --> 01:20:15,145
We swipe enough free shit,
we may pay for this fiasco.

1195
01:20:15,979 --> 01:20:19,315
Would it be inappropriate if I asked
Lee Janzen for his autograph?

1196
01:20:19,482 --> 01:20:24,404
I think that's a dead giveaway, but if I
got the shanks, we'll be found out soon.

1197
01:20:26,239 --> 01:20:28,658
Hit the 7.
You always hit that good.

1198
01:20:29,075 --> 01:20:29,993
Good thinking.

1199
01:20:30,160 --> 01:20:31,494
Come on, man.

1200
01:20:33,913 --> 01:20:35,457
Keep your head down.

1201
01:20:35,749 --> 01:20:37,584
You're making me nervous.

1202
01:20:43,673 --> 01:20:45,342
- Who hit that shot?!
- Yeah, who hit it?

1203
01:20:45,508 --> 01:20:46,593
Anyone see?

1204
01:20:46,760 --> 01:20:48,094
You're supposed to be pros!

1205
01:20:49,262 --> 01:20:51,514
- A little thin.
- A little fucking thin.

1206
01:20:51,681 --> 01:20:53,141
I still got the shanks.

1207
01:20:53,350 --> 01:20:55,185
- Don't worry.
- Everyone's watching.

1208
01:20:55,352 --> 01:20:56,603
Nobody's watching.

1209
01:20:56,770 --> 01:20:59,522
Just hit them up. Just stand
up there. You can do it.

1210
01:21:14,037 --> 01:21:16,664
The guys down the line
are a little concerned.

1211
01:21:17,123 --> 01:21:18,124
You're Tin Cup?

1212
01:21:18,291 --> 01:21:21,461
Right, McAvoy from West Texas.
We're from West Texas.

1213
01:21:21,628 --> 01:21:22,671
Try aiming left.

1214
01:21:22,879 --> 01:21:25,632
Try backing up and giving
me just a little room.

1215
01:21:29,636 --> 01:21:30,887
That's Johnny Miller.

1216
01:21:31,054 --> 01:21:32,555
I don't give a fuck.

1217
01:21:32,889 --> 01:21:34,391
Jesus, Cup.

1218
01:21:34,724 --> 01:21:37,185
- Can I have your autograph.
- No problem. To who?

1219
01:21:38,228 --> 01:21:39,896
To Romeo, my best friend,

1220
01:21:41,022 --> 01:21:42,232
Good luck to you guys.

1221
01:21:42,565 --> 01:21:45,902
You might want to make plane
reservations soon, the way you're hitting.

1222
01:21:46,069 --> 01:21:48,363
Great Open in '73.

1223
01:21:48,530 --> 01:21:50,448
- What a nice guy.
- Did you get his autograph?

1224
01:21:50,532 --> 01:21:53,493
- Yeah, look... my best friend.
- See who's over there?

1225
01:21:53,868 --> 01:21:54,869
Jesus Christ.

1226
01:21:55,036 --> 01:21:57,038
It's only an autograph, man.

1227
01:21:57,372 --> 01:21:59,082
Simms is here.

1228
01:22:02,127 --> 01:22:03,712
Shit.

1229
01:22:03,878 --> 01:22:05,922
Hit your putter, you can't shank.

1230
01:22:06,006 --> 01:22:09,384
You're the Mexican Mac O'Grady.
Figure out why I'm shanking.

1231
01:22:09,759 --> 01:22:11,720
- Now what?
- Shoot.

1232
01:22:11,886 --> 01:22:13,888
I'm catching it on the hosel?

1233
01:22:14,472 --> 01:22:15,974
Moving my head?

1234
01:22:16,266 --> 01:22:18,268
- I'm laying it off?
- That, too.

1235
01:22:18,476 --> 01:22:19,561
I'm pronating.

1236
01:22:19,728 --> 01:22:23,398
- When you're not supinating.
- I'm clearing too early, too late.

1237
01:22:23,565 --> 01:22:25,900
My swing feels like an unfolding chair!

1238
01:22:29,404 --> 01:22:31,406
Put your change in your left pocket.

1239
01:22:32,157 --> 01:22:33,658
Go on, do it.

1240
01:22:37,996 --> 01:22:41,082
Now, tie your left
shoe in a double knot.

1241
01:22:41,249 --> 01:22:43,752
- Tie my left shoe?
- Right now, do it!

1242
01:22:50,759 --> 01:22:52,177
Turn the hat backwards.

1243
01:22:52,469 --> 01:22:54,804
Turn your hat around.
Do it, Roy!

1244
01:22:59,184 --> 01:23:00,435
Take this tee...

1245
01:23:00,602 --> 01:23:01,936
...and stick it...

1246
01:23:02,520 --> 01:23:03,813
...behind your left ear.

1247
01:23:06,316 --> 01:23:07,942
I look like a fool!

1248
01:23:08,109 --> 01:23:12,113
What do you think you look like
shooting chili peppers up Janzen's ass?

1249
01:23:14,032 --> 01:23:16,326
Do it now or I'm going to quit.

1250
01:23:16,534 --> 01:23:18,536
I swear to God I'll quit.

1251
01:23:19,954 --> 01:23:21,122
Good.

1252
01:23:21,289 --> 01:23:22,290
Take this ball...

1253
01:23:22,457 --> 01:23:24,459
...and hit it up the fairway.

1254
01:23:24,626 --> 01:23:25,794
You're ready.

1255
01:23:40,475 --> 01:23:41,726
How'd I do that?

1256
01:23:41,851 --> 01:23:45,814
Because you're not thinking
about shanking or Molly.

1257
01:23:45,980 --> 01:23:47,232
You're not thinking.

1258
01:23:47,357 --> 01:23:50,360
You're looking like a fool,
hitting the ball pure and simple...

1259
01:23:50,568 --> 01:23:51,319
Fuck you.

1260
01:23:51,486 --> 01:23:54,155
Fuck me, huh? Well, you're cured.

1261
01:23:56,366 --> 01:23:57,659
That's it?

1262
01:23:58,368 --> 01:23:59,661
That's it.

1263
01:23:59,828 --> 01:24:01,996
Your brain was getting in the way.

1264
01:24:03,581 --> 01:24:05,750
That's hardly ever been the case.

1265
01:24:05,875 --> 01:24:07,252
No shit, Sherlock.

1266
01:24:07,377 --> 01:24:08,670
What next?

1267
01:24:10,755 --> 01:24:13,258
You should work on
your short game but...

1268
01:24:14,009 --> 01:24:15,260
...get drunk.

1269
01:24:15,385 --> 01:24:16,845
Get drunk?

1270
01:24:17,512 --> 01:24:19,097
You play better.

1271
01:24:21,266 --> 01:24:22,851
Remember Brownsville?

1272
01:24:25,020 --> 01:24:25,770
Come on.

1273
01:24:25,895 --> 01:24:27,105
When do I tee off?

1274
01:24:27,272 --> 01:24:29,774
At 7:08. We're the first guys going.

1275
01:24:29,899 --> 01:24:32,193
Come on, one more, just do it.

1276
01:24:32,360 --> 01:24:33,194
Come on.

1277
01:24:33,361 --> 01:24:35,280
- Get it down.
- That's in 4 hours.

1278
01:24:35,405 --> 01:24:36,114
Right.

1279
01:24:39,868 --> 01:24:43,788
Here's to the finely-tuned
athlete on the verge of greatness.

1280
01:25:01,014 --> 01:25:02,515
Should have set an alarm.

1281
01:25:04,809 --> 01:25:06,436
The 7:08 pairing...

1282
01:25:06,644 --> 01:25:09,731
...from Salami, Texas, Mr. Roy McAvoy.

1283
01:25:10,940 --> 01:25:12,817
Any time for a quick bucket?

1284
01:25:12,942 --> 01:25:13,943
Tee it up.

1285
01:25:16,154 --> 01:25:19,240
We almost missed the starting
time getting you off the floor.

1286
01:25:19,407 --> 01:25:22,327
You don't handle hooch like you used to.

1287
01:25:23,453 --> 01:25:27,332
I've seen this hole on TV.
Hit the big dog up the chute.

1288
01:25:27,457 --> 01:25:31,336
I've learned my lesson.
I'll play it safe, smart...

1289
01:25:31,920 --> 01:25:33,338
...conservative.

1290
01:25:34,172 --> 01:25:36,591
Fairways and greens. Hand me a 2-iron.

1291
01:25:36,966 --> 01:25:37,926
You sure?

1292
01:25:42,681 --> 01:25:44,099
Here we go.

1293
01:25:51,272 --> 01:25:52,941
Not a good day.

1294
01:25:53,775 --> 01:25:55,193
Be humble.

1295
01:26:02,200 --> 01:26:03,451
Be humble.

1296
01:26:03,618 --> 01:26:04,619
83.

1297
01:26:04,953 --> 01:26:06,621
You're humble now, homes.

1298
01:26:06,996 --> 01:26:08,707
I was hungover.

1299
01:26:09,916 --> 01:26:11,876
Maybe that was a coaching mistake.

1300
01:26:12,002 --> 01:26:14,879
Yeah, maybe it was.
Thanks, amigo.

1301
01:26:15,463 --> 01:26:16,881
David Simms...

1302
01:26:17,007 --> 01:26:21,511
...is the first-round leader at the
U.S. Open after a brilliant 67.

1303
01:26:22,220 --> 01:26:24,389
Well, Jim, I must tell you...

1304
01:26:24,514 --> 01:26:28,893
...I didn't expect to go out
there right out and shoot a 67.

1305
01:26:31,646 --> 01:26:35,233
I've marveled at how you've been
able to balance superb play...

1306
01:26:35,400 --> 01:26:37,318
...with the energy you give...

1307
01:26:37,485 --> 01:26:40,155
...to so many charities
and all of your fans.

1308
01:26:40,321 --> 01:26:43,658
Well, you know I...
This game is about...

1309
01:26:43,825 --> 01:26:46,327
...tradition and integrity and honor.

1310
01:26:46,536 --> 01:26:49,497
You know, the U.S. Open is it for us.

1311
01:26:49,664 --> 01:26:53,418
So I'm going to go out tomorrow
and try to make some good swings.

1312
01:26:53,543 --> 01:26:54,836
Lord willing...

1313
01:26:55,170 --> 01:26:56,546
...I'll do well and...

1314
01:26:56,755 --> 01:26:59,174
The Anti-Christ shoots 67.

1315
01:26:59,758 --> 01:27:00,925
Believe that?

1316
01:27:01,051 --> 01:27:04,429
Yeah, the old Antichrist
had a hot putter today.

1317
01:27:05,013 --> 01:27:06,348
Good seeing you.

1318
01:27:08,183 --> 01:27:10,935
Be well, buddy. I'll see
you out in the trenches.

1319
01:27:11,936 --> 01:27:13,688
I must run right now...

1320
01:27:13,855 --> 01:27:15,523
...but I'll see you later.

1321
01:27:16,066 --> 01:27:18,443
Christ Almighty Jesus.

1322
01:27:19,569 --> 01:27:21,363
The cover or nothing.

1323
01:27:21,529 --> 01:27:24,866
They want you for USA Weekend.
We're saying it's the cover or no go.

1324
01:27:27,077 --> 01:27:28,787
Excuse me, Mr. Simms.

1325
01:27:28,953 --> 01:27:31,456
Would you give our
grandson an autograph?

1326
01:27:31,581 --> 01:27:32,957
Please, Mr. Simms?

1327
01:27:33,083 --> 01:27:36,086
Can you people not see that
I'm busy? I'm working.

1328
01:27:36,378 --> 01:27:37,796
This is my office.

1329
01:27:37,962 --> 01:27:40,590
Do I come to your office
and ask for an autograph?

1330
01:27:40,799 --> 01:27:42,092
I don't think so.

1331
01:27:42,300 --> 01:27:43,551
Jesus.

1332
01:27:43,718 --> 01:27:45,095
What an ugly dog.

1333
01:27:46,096 --> 01:27:47,972
It's okay, Joe.

1334
01:28:01,611 --> 01:28:03,321
- Nice playing.
- Hell of a round.

1335
01:28:03,571 --> 01:28:04,739
Great start.

1336
01:28:04,906 --> 01:28:06,741
I got lucky out there.

1337
01:28:09,577 --> 01:28:10,829
Hello, Cup.

1338
01:28:12,497 --> 01:28:16,084
I heard you put a monster
number up there.

1339
01:28:16,251 --> 01:28:18,253
It could have been worse.

1340
01:28:19,087 --> 01:28:23,425
I played in the Pro-Am with some
asshole movie star here once.

1341
01:28:24,759 --> 01:28:26,511
Shot an 82.

1342
01:28:27,262 --> 01:28:29,264
Now, how in the world...

1343
01:28:29,431 --> 01:28:32,350
...can a great ball-striker like you...

1344
01:28:32,642 --> 01:28:33,852
...a legend...

1345
01:28:35,520 --> 01:28:37,772
...manage to put up an 83?

1346
01:28:38,356 --> 01:28:41,151
Well, I missed a 4-foot putt on 18...

1347
01:28:41,359 --> 01:28:42,777
...for an 82.

1348
01:28:43,361 --> 01:28:44,654
That's how.

1349
01:28:45,113 --> 01:28:49,284
Ain't like playing some muni-track
in Brownsville, is it?

1350
01:28:50,160 --> 01:28:53,038
Does "integrity, tradition and honor"...

1351
01:28:53,455 --> 01:28:55,665
...include kicking a man when he's down?

1352
01:28:58,793 --> 01:29:00,795
This is just guy stuff.

1353
01:29:01,796 --> 01:29:03,173
It's just bar talk.

1354
01:29:03,381 --> 01:29:04,132
No offense?

1355
01:29:04,632 --> 01:29:07,469
This man still has a lot of
great golf shots in his system.

1356
01:29:07,635 --> 01:29:09,137
It's okay. Go away.

1357
01:29:09,304 --> 01:29:12,307
Just... I don't need any
attention right now.

1358
01:29:12,557 --> 01:29:16,061
I'll bet you $100 that
Roy can hit a ball...

1359
01:29:16,186 --> 01:29:18,897
...through the door, over
the patio into the river.

1360
01:29:19,064 --> 01:29:21,983
And, Harold, give me a
vodka tonic with a twist.

1361
01:29:23,651 --> 01:29:25,820
Really, this isn't dignified.

1362
01:29:26,905 --> 01:29:28,990
Oh, I am so sorry.

1363
01:29:30,325 --> 01:29:31,910
I just want to go home.

1364
01:29:32,827 --> 01:29:34,329
What about the river?

1365
01:29:34,913 --> 01:29:38,083
The piranha, the immortality,
all that bullshit?

1366
01:29:38,666 --> 01:29:41,419
You going to drag your
ass home with an 83?

1367
01:29:44,506 --> 01:29:46,007
$200.

1368
01:29:46,508 --> 01:29:47,592
For $200...

1369
01:29:48,343 --> 01:29:53,181
...Roy can hit the ball through the bar,
out the patio, into the river...

1370
01:29:53,348 --> 01:29:56,726
...and make that pelican
right there fly off its post.

1371
01:29:57,102 --> 01:29:58,603
From right here.

1372
01:30:02,440 --> 01:30:03,525
God Almighty.

1373
01:30:03,692 --> 01:30:05,360
This is ridiculous.

1374
01:30:09,239 --> 01:30:11,449
You got the shot, pods.

1375
01:30:11,950 --> 01:30:13,702
Romeo, shut up.

1376
01:30:14,119 --> 01:30:17,706
Just turn it over and start it
off low and go it right to left...

1377
01:30:17,872 --> 01:30:18,957
He can do it.

1378
01:30:19,124 --> 01:30:23,753
You can do it. And I'm not leaving till
one of you men act in a manly fashion.

1379
01:30:23,962 --> 01:30:25,880
Can we get this over with?

1380
01:30:33,471 --> 01:30:34,723
One ball...

1381
01:30:34,889 --> 01:30:36,474
...one swing...

1382
01:30:38,268 --> 01:30:39,060
...one...

1383
01:30:40,061 --> 01:30:41,271
...pelican.

1384
01:30:42,147 --> 01:30:43,148
From there.

1385
01:30:44,149 --> 01:30:45,275
You can do it.

1386
01:30:45,483 --> 01:30:47,777
You're the man. Shut him up.

1387
01:30:57,996 --> 01:30:59,414
One swing?

1388
01:30:59,581 --> 01:31:00,915
One swing.

1389
01:31:01,082 --> 01:31:02,000
4 to 1.

1390
01:31:02,167 --> 01:31:03,668
Give him 10-1.

1391
01:31:06,421 --> 01:31:08,006
I'll need a fairway.

1392
01:31:08,173 --> 01:31:09,674
Here's what he's got.

1393
01:31:09,799 --> 01:31:14,512
30 yards of bar and grill, then must go
through the doors, over umbrellas...

1394
01:31:14,679 --> 01:31:16,514
...then carry 30 yards of river.

1395
01:31:16,681 --> 01:31:18,933
He must pop that pelican off its perch.

1396
01:31:19,100 --> 01:31:20,935
Kind of a thin line.

1397
01:31:21,102 --> 01:31:24,189
Beats that deep shit
rough you were in all day.

1398
01:31:25,398 --> 01:31:26,733
Pelican's on the other side.

1399
01:31:27,192 --> 01:31:29,194
What a tough shot.

1400
01:31:29,444 --> 01:31:34,032
He's just got to be thinking of that
brutal, ego-sapping, manhood-robbing...

1401
01:31:34,199 --> 01:31:36,701
...83 he buried himself under today.

1402
01:31:36,826 --> 01:31:38,453
That's an avalanche of strokes.

1403
01:31:39,287 --> 01:31:40,830
Get control of that guy.

1404
01:31:41,039 --> 01:31:43,124
Will you shut up? Get down.

1405
01:31:56,638 --> 01:31:58,306
Did you see that shot?!

1406
01:31:58,556 --> 01:32:00,225
Oh, my God!

1407
01:32:05,480 --> 01:32:06,981
That should cover it.

1408
01:32:08,817 --> 01:32:09,734
You know...

1409
01:32:10,985 --> 01:32:12,987
...you're all fucking nuts.

1410
01:32:22,872 --> 01:32:26,376
You really look good.

1411
01:32:28,837 --> 01:32:29,921
Oh, God.

1412
01:32:59,701 --> 01:33:01,119
Oh, my God.

1413
01:33:01,536 --> 01:33:03,538
I kind of shanked that.

1414
01:33:05,874 --> 01:33:06,791
Come on!

1415
01:33:07,042 --> 01:33:08,209
Shit.

1416
01:33:08,918 --> 01:33:10,211
God.

1417
01:33:10,920 --> 01:33:12,922
Shit, man.

1418
01:33:13,298 --> 01:33:15,050
Tempo's everything.

1419
01:33:18,136 --> 01:33:19,304
Perfection is...

1420
01:33:19,429 --> 01:33:20,930
...unattainable.

1421
01:33:23,308 --> 01:33:25,310
You know, someone said...

1422
01:33:25,435 --> 01:33:29,731
...golf and sex are the only things
you don't have to be good at to enjoy.

1423
01:33:32,942 --> 01:33:34,319
Can I have a Mulligan?

1424
01:33:34,444 --> 01:33:36,321
- A what?
- Mulligan.

1425
01:33:36,446 --> 01:33:37,906
What's a Mulligan?

1426
01:33:39,741 --> 01:33:41,409
Just hold still...

1427
01:33:41,576 --> 01:33:42,827
...don't move...

1428
01:33:42,952 --> 01:33:44,454
...and I'll show you.

1429
01:33:44,829 --> 01:33:47,957
In fact, wait a minute,
get on top. I'll show you.

1430
01:33:48,166 --> 01:33:49,417
I'll tee it up.

1431
01:33:50,835 --> 01:33:52,837
Come on, Roy.

1432
01:34:13,191 --> 01:34:15,694
Welcome everyone,
Jim Nantz with Ken Venturi.

1433
01:34:15,860 --> 01:34:17,696
The sun's struggling to appear.

1434
01:34:17,862 --> 01:34:20,532
The course is drying up.
In case you're just joining us...

1435
01:34:20,699 --> 01:34:25,120
...David Simms is tied for the lead
at 5 under par with Peter Jacobsen.

1436
01:34:25,286 --> 01:34:29,374
But the real story today
involves a driving range pro...

1437
01:34:29,624 --> 01:34:32,794
...who shot an opening
round 83 yesterday...

1438
01:34:33,128 --> 01:34:35,797
...but is now making U.S. Open history.

1439
01:34:35,964 --> 01:34:39,801
The single round record in Open history
is in jeopardy because of McAvoy.

1440
01:34:39,843 --> 01:34:43,763
Another driving range pro,
it's all we needed.

1441
01:34:43,888 --> 01:34:47,726
It's heroes that I need.
Not obscure driving range pros.

1442
01:34:47,892 --> 01:34:49,894
Okay, Ben, back at 16.

1443
01:34:51,229 --> 01:34:55,650
This putt he's studied from every
angle and I'm sure he knows...

1444
01:34:55,817 --> 01:34:58,903
...it's got to be firm on the
left-hand edge with this putt.

1445
01:34:59,029 --> 01:35:02,657
Get thumbnails on these guys.
I don't know where he's from...

1446
01:35:02,824 --> 01:35:06,244
...but here he is, going
ten under, if he makes it.

1447
01:35:09,330 --> 01:35:11,541
Look at that. Smooth as silk.

1448
01:35:11,750 --> 01:35:13,251
He's made it!

1449
01:35:13,668 --> 01:35:16,421
10 under par for McAvoy!

1450
01:35:16,755 --> 01:35:18,423
Man alive!

1451
01:35:18,548 --> 01:35:22,052
This is the stuff
of legend, I would say.

1452
01:35:25,263 --> 01:35:26,681
Who is McAvoy?

1453
01:35:27,849 --> 01:35:30,060
You ever hear of this McAvoy guy?

1454
01:35:30,518 --> 01:35:34,689
Roy McAvoy, after a par at 17.
An eagle to shoot 60...

1455
01:35:35,190 --> 01:35:38,526
...although no one has knocked it
onto the green in 2 here today.

1456
01:35:38,693 --> 01:35:40,695
It's not a shot you want
to be aggressive with.

1457
01:35:40,779 --> 01:35:42,781
You gotta be conservative,
you gotta think to shot out.

1458
01:35:42,864 --> 01:35:43,782
He's in great position.

1459
01:35:44,199 --> 01:35:46,201
It's a 3 shot par 5.

1460
01:35:46,368 --> 01:35:49,079
Especially today, a
little wind in the face.

1461
01:35:49,287 --> 01:35:52,582
John Daly ended up in the water
going for this green in two.

1462
01:35:52,791 --> 01:35:55,293
237, man, to carry that water.

1463
01:36:00,048 --> 01:36:01,549
237, man.

1464
01:36:09,391 --> 01:36:10,600
3-wood.

1465
01:36:18,233 --> 01:36:19,067
Hit hard.

1466
01:36:19,234 --> 01:36:23,405
Jimmy, if he lays up, he
takes the bogey out of play.

1467
01:36:23,571 --> 01:36:26,741
He goes for the green,
he brings 6 in, he brings 7 in.

1468
01:36:26,908 --> 01:36:28,993
He must remember he's in contention.

1469
01:36:29,285 --> 01:36:31,871
He has a chance to win.
He must play smart.

1470
01:36:43,758 --> 01:36:45,593
He didn't have enough club.

1471
01:36:47,012 --> 01:36:48,513
Well, what the hell?

1472
01:36:48,638 --> 01:36:50,765
You ride her until she bucks you...

1473
01:36:51,099 --> 01:36:52,600
...or don't ride at all.

1474
01:36:52,767 --> 01:36:55,645
If he can still knock a
wedge close and make par...

1475
01:36:56,021 --> 01:37:00,275
...it'd be one of the most
remarkable turn-arounds in history.

1476
01:37:00,442 --> 01:37:04,446
He's got 85 yards from here and the
drop zone is short of the water.

1477
01:37:04,612 --> 01:37:08,783
He'll need to get it on the upper
level of the multi-terraced green.

1478
01:37:13,455 --> 01:37:18,376
That's a good solid shot leaving
him about 12 feet away for par.

1479
01:37:18,543 --> 01:37:20,378
A par and 62...

1480
01:37:20,628 --> 01:37:23,548
...the all-time Open round record.

1481
01:37:35,393 --> 01:37:36,311
Good stroke.

1482
01:37:36,478 --> 01:37:37,395
He's got it.

1483
01:37:37,896 --> 01:37:38,897
Unbelievable.

1484
01:37:39,064 --> 01:37:41,066
McAvoy has done it.

1485
01:37:41,316 --> 01:37:45,320
You just saw the greatest round
in U.S. Open history.

1486
01:37:45,487 --> 01:37:47,072
62.

1487
01:37:47,906 --> 01:37:52,494
The all-time lowest round in a major
doesn't belong to a Jack Nicklaus...

1488
01:37:52,702 --> 01:37:54,579
...or an Arnold Palmer...

1489
01:37:54,704 --> 01:37:56,331
...Hogan or Sneed.

1490
01:37:56,498 --> 01:37:59,167
It's been shot by the
most improbable artist.

1491
01:37:59,334 --> 01:38:01,586
Roy McAvoy has his signature...

1492
01:38:01,711 --> 01:38:04,464
...on golf's all-time
masterpiece round.

1493
01:38:12,180 --> 01:38:16,935
I've got money from the bet.
Let's go somewhere fancy and celebrate.

1494
01:38:17,227 --> 01:38:20,939
There's nothing to celebrate.
Besides, these are my people.

1495
01:38:21,731 --> 01:38:25,360
I'm a Waffle House guy.
Got to stay in touch with that.

1496
01:38:25,610 --> 01:38:27,529
Plus, he needs his carbohydrates.

1497
01:38:27,696 --> 01:38:31,449
Plus, if the boys in Salome
were in town, they'd come here.

1498
01:38:33,201 --> 01:38:34,244
The legend!

1499
01:38:34,536 --> 01:38:36,871
We've been on a bus 2 days.

1500
01:38:40,375 --> 01:38:41,584
It's so good to see you.

1501
01:38:42,210 --> 01:38:43,962
Sweet 62!

1502
01:38:44,462 --> 01:38:46,381
Put the tables together.

1503
01:38:49,634 --> 01:38:51,261
Does this feel like home?

1504
01:38:51,553 --> 01:38:54,556
We just want you to know we
are with you all the way.

1505
01:38:54,723 --> 01:38:56,975
Doreen, meet Dr. Griswold.

1506
01:38:57,767 --> 01:38:58,977
This is Molly.

1507
01:39:00,145 --> 01:39:00,979
She's my shrink.

1508
01:39:01,479 --> 01:39:03,231
Well, ex-shrink.

1509
01:39:03,398 --> 01:39:05,900
We're sleeping together, so I can't be.

1510
01:39:06,484 --> 01:39:07,902
Knew it. Thanks.

1511
01:39:08,069 --> 01:39:09,237
Knew what?

1512
01:39:09,404 --> 01:39:10,488
Nothing.

1513
01:39:10,655 --> 01:39:11,656
Good luck.

1514
01:39:12,407 --> 01:39:15,577
You know what? I've got
a little extra cash...

1515
01:39:15,744 --> 01:39:19,164
...why don't we go somewhere
a little fancy and celebrate?

1516
01:39:19,289 --> 01:39:20,165
Why?

1517
01:39:20,790 --> 01:39:22,083
In honor of...

1518
01:39:22,250 --> 01:39:23,168
It's the Waffle House.

1519
01:39:23,293 --> 01:39:24,586
I know.

1520
01:39:24,753 --> 01:39:28,173
I've been dreaming about
waffles for 1,800 miles.

1521
01:39:28,298 --> 01:39:29,674
Me too.

1522
01:39:29,799 --> 01:39:32,802
There's a Waffle House like
this in Odessa, Texas.

1523
01:39:33,803 --> 01:39:34,679
No, Midlands.

1524
01:39:34,804 --> 01:39:36,097
It's in Odessa.

1525
01:39:36,264 --> 01:39:39,601
It's in Odessa. I'm from Odessa.
I was born there.

1526
01:39:39,768 --> 01:39:41,186
That's where it is.

1527
01:39:41,311 --> 01:39:42,520
The man.

1528
01:39:42,687 --> 01:39:43,772
To the Cup!

1529
01:39:43,938 --> 01:39:44,773
Cup Man!

1530
01:39:44,939 --> 01:39:46,316
You didn't have to do that.

1531
01:39:47,609 --> 01:39:49,527
You look lovely tonight.

1532
01:39:50,111 --> 01:39:51,446
Thank you.

1533
01:39:53,114 --> 01:39:56,117
I don't know if anyone told you,
but you're a great dancer.

1534
01:39:57,202 --> 01:39:58,328
Really?

1535
01:39:58,953 --> 01:40:02,290
But they had one there.
That's all I'm saying.

1536
01:40:02,457 --> 01:40:04,042
It was Odessa.

1537
01:40:04,209 --> 01:40:07,045
That's not what I was talking about,
you know where we stopped.

1538
01:40:07,212 --> 01:40:09,339
There's an easy way to figure this out.

1539
01:40:09,547 --> 01:40:11,049
You ever tango?

1540
01:40:12,717 --> 01:40:14,219
No.

1541
01:40:14,969 --> 01:40:16,137
Do you?

1542
01:40:19,557 --> 01:40:21,559
Romeo, you dance?

1543
01:40:22,352 --> 01:40:24,145
It doesn't matter!

1544
01:40:25,230 --> 01:40:27,357
It doesn't get much better than this.

1545
01:40:31,861 --> 01:40:36,741
This extraordinary Roy McAvoy,
he just won't go away.

1546
01:40:36,908 --> 01:40:41,162
This humble pro from Salome,
wherever that is.

1547
01:40:41,329 --> 01:40:43,873
- Little town, west Texas.
- It hasn't been discovered yet.

1548
01:40:44,082 --> 01:40:46,084
Over to 18, guys, quickly.

1549
01:40:46,251 --> 01:40:48,169
John Cook at the par 518th.

1550
01:40:48,336 --> 01:40:52,507
No stranger to championship play.
And he's going to lay up.

1551
01:40:53,842 --> 01:40:56,344
Meanwhile, here's Roy McAvoy.

1552
01:40:56,511 --> 01:40:59,264
He has the same shot he knocked
in the water yesterday.

1553
01:40:59,389 --> 01:41:02,267
The thing to do is tune out the
gallery saying "go for it".

1554
01:41:02,392 --> 01:41:05,854
He's back in contention, but he
must continue to play smart.

1555
01:41:06,104 --> 01:41:07,522
Give me a 3-wood.

1556
01:41:12,527 --> 01:41:16,781
He's pulled the 3-wood and he continues
to play without an ounce of fear.

1557
01:41:16,906 --> 01:41:18,992
That is just inexperience,
just pure and simple.

1558
01:41:19,409 --> 01:41:22,787
This is for Venturi up in the
booth thinking I should lay up.

1559
01:41:23,288 --> 01:41:27,292
What does he know? He only won this
tournament before you were born.

1560
01:41:32,922 --> 01:41:37,886
Caught it a little bit high, a breeze
in his face. That's got to go.

1561
01:41:38,511 --> 01:41:41,264
- He's done it again.
- No, not again.

1562
01:41:41,556 --> 01:41:44,642
He has found the water for
the third straight day.

1563
01:41:44,809 --> 01:41:46,561
What was he thinking about?

1564
01:41:46,728 --> 01:41:48,146
Give me another ball.

1565
01:41:50,440 --> 01:41:51,149
What?

1566
01:41:51,399 --> 01:41:52,734
It's a water hazard.

1567
01:41:53,068 --> 01:41:57,072
You go up there and take a drop.
Try to save par, like yesterday.

1568
01:41:57,906 --> 01:41:59,074
You're right.

1569
01:41:59,824 --> 01:42:01,576
What the hell was I thinking?

1570
01:42:02,410 --> 01:42:03,745
He's tied for the lead...

1571
01:42:03,912 --> 01:42:06,665
...this Roy McAvoy, this "Tin Cup"
this empty cup...

1572
01:42:06,831 --> 01:42:08,833
...this air-brain out of nowhere.

1573
01:42:08,958 --> 01:42:10,251
West Texas.

1574
01:42:10,418 --> 01:42:12,420
Thank you for West Texas.

1575
01:42:12,587 --> 01:42:17,092
You went for the green on 18 today.
Do you think that cost you?

1576
01:42:17,258 --> 01:42:19,094
I saved par, didn't I?

1577
01:42:19,969 --> 01:42:21,012
Didn't I?

1578
01:42:21,096 --> 01:42:25,475
You had the same shot yesterday
on 18 without a headwind.

1579
01:42:25,517 --> 01:42:27,143
You don't think I can?

1580
01:42:27,227 --> 01:42:28,228
It's unlikely.

1581
01:42:29,396 --> 01:42:31,898
So am I. Look at me, all right?

1582
01:42:31,981 --> 01:42:35,819
Look what I'm wearing. I'm playing
for Rio Grande Short-Haul Trucking.

1583
01:42:35,902 --> 01:42:37,821
Brink's and Brown's Sanitation.

1584
01:42:39,280 --> 01:42:43,326
First State Bank of Salome.
Woody's Smokehouse.

1585
01:42:44,452 --> 01:42:48,164
You think a guy like me bothers
to worry about the percentages?

1586
01:43:09,936 --> 01:43:12,856
Are you nervous about tomorrow, Roy?

1587
01:43:19,946 --> 01:43:22,365
It won't always be like this, you know.

1588
01:43:22,657 --> 01:43:23,825
What?

1589
01:43:25,035 --> 01:43:27,871
With me, surrounded by
all these guys snoring.

1590
01:43:28,038 --> 01:43:31,291
Stripper ex-girlfriend
laying across from us.

1591
01:43:33,293 --> 01:43:35,795
My caddie sleeping next to her.

1592
01:43:37,213 --> 01:43:39,549
It won't always be like this.

1593
01:43:39,966 --> 01:43:41,968
Yes, it will, Roy.

1594
01:43:42,677 --> 01:43:44,054
It will.

1595
01:44:09,329 --> 01:44:10,747
Dollar bills.

1596
01:44:18,421 --> 01:44:19,798
Dollar bills.

1597
01:44:27,472 --> 01:44:29,015
Dollar bills.

1598
01:44:41,695 --> 01:44:45,448
First up in the final pairing,
from Salome, Texas...

1599
01:44:45,615 --> 01:44:47,784
...Roy McAvoy.

1600
01:44:48,368 --> 01:44:51,162
Fairways and greens, and
don't forget to wave...

1601
01:44:51,371 --> 01:44:52,455
...as I blow by.

1602
01:44:52,789 --> 01:44:55,875
You mean blow up, don't you,
sport? You always do.

1603
01:45:27,949 --> 01:45:31,870
Playing out of Houston, Texas...
...David Simms.

1604
01:45:36,666 --> 01:45:40,503
It's okay, exactly where you are.
You're in great shape.

1605
01:45:58,313 --> 01:45:59,647
How's the lie?

1606
01:45:59,814 --> 01:46:01,816
Shit, it's buried.

1607
01:46:03,818 --> 01:46:05,195
Don't touch it.

1608
01:46:05,403 --> 01:46:06,738
I know the rules.

1609
01:46:11,201 --> 01:46:12,535
What'll you do?

1610
01:46:12,702 --> 01:46:14,079
Go right through there.

1611
01:46:14,371 --> 01:46:15,205
Go for it.

1612
01:46:19,584 --> 01:46:21,544
- Oh, God!
- Don't worry about it.

1613
01:46:21,670 --> 01:46:25,131
It was my fault. I gave you
the wrong club. You'll be fine.

1614
01:46:25,340 --> 01:46:28,218
Don't worry. You did fine.
Give me the club.

1615
01:46:28,635 --> 01:46:32,639
We've just heard Roy McAvoy has
taken a disastrous double-bogey...

1616
01:46:32,806 --> 01:46:34,808
...to open his final round here.

1617
01:46:34,974 --> 01:46:36,476
Trouble back there.

1618
01:46:37,560 --> 01:46:39,270
Just keep making pars.

1619
01:46:39,479 --> 01:46:41,898
I'll take 18 of them, all day.

1620
01:46:42,065 --> 01:46:43,983
Do it, and I'll own you.

1621
01:47:12,303 --> 01:47:13,304
Fore!

1622
01:47:18,309 --> 01:47:20,437
Roy McAvoy's second shot...

1623
01:47:20,603 --> 01:47:24,149
...at the second hole has
gone deep into the woods.

1624
01:47:24,315 --> 01:47:27,277
For a report on his plight,
let's go to Gary McCord...

1625
01:47:27,861 --> 01:47:32,032
...who has spent most of his life
in the woods and in darkness.

1626
01:47:32,157 --> 01:47:34,034
He's in jail here.

1627
01:47:34,159 --> 01:47:35,452
No chance for parole.

1628
01:47:35,618 --> 01:47:40,248
He's got to hit the ball back in the
fairway, pitch the ball on the green...

1629
01:47:40,457 --> 01:47:41,791
...and get up and down for par.

1630
01:47:41,958 --> 01:47:43,793
No chance to hit it on the green.

1631
01:47:45,170 --> 01:47:47,172
$50 says I knock it on with a 7-iron.

1632
01:47:47,630 --> 01:47:48,798
On the green?

1633
01:47:48,965 --> 01:47:49,632
Right.

1634
01:47:50,050 --> 01:47:51,092
You got it.

1635
01:47:51,801 --> 01:47:54,721
Move these people back right here.
I'm going right there.

1636
01:47:58,308 --> 01:47:59,642
What's he got?

1637
01:47:59,893 --> 01:48:00,894
What's he doing?

1638
01:48:02,354 --> 01:48:06,191
He's going to try to ricochet off
the toilet with a hooded 7-iron.

1639
01:48:06,566 --> 01:48:08,276
He's hitting off the shitter.

1640
01:48:08,485 --> 01:48:10,737
I can't believe he's doing this.

1641
01:48:10,904 --> 01:48:12,489
DVT 1, record.

1642
01:48:12,655 --> 01:48:13,782
Record this.

1643
01:48:24,000 --> 01:48:28,672
Roy McAvoy has banked his third
shot at the second hole...

1644
01:48:28,838 --> 01:48:33,760
...between the trees, off a water closet,
or loo, as you might call it...

1645
01:48:33,927 --> 01:48:36,680
...and got it on the green,
somehow, in three.

1646
01:48:36,930 --> 01:48:40,350
May be the shot that gets
him back on track here.

1647
01:48:40,517 --> 01:48:42,519
It could erase that double-bogey.

1648
01:48:42,686 --> 01:48:44,604
Best thing that ever happened to him.

1649
01:49:14,509 --> 01:49:16,511
Oh, that was great.

1650
01:49:16,720 --> 01:49:20,515
I didn't know there was a mirror
in here. Isn't that cute?

1651
01:49:32,193 --> 01:49:34,195
Let me just look at my...

1652
01:50:18,990 --> 01:50:22,077
Looks level. Roll it in like
you know what you're doing.

1653
01:50:24,996 --> 01:50:26,665
Hit it close, sport.

1654
01:51:03,284 --> 01:51:05,495
How did he get the name Tin Cup?

1655
01:51:05,745 --> 01:51:08,832
He was the catcher on the
high school baseball team.

1656
01:51:08,999 --> 01:51:11,001
Star pitcher had a curve.

1657
01:51:11,167 --> 01:51:13,378
Not all his pitches hit Roy in the mitt.

1658
01:51:14,504 --> 01:51:18,383
Team thought "Tin Cup" was a
whole lot better than "Clank".

1659
01:51:26,349 --> 01:51:27,559
Fuck.

1660
01:51:29,769 --> 01:51:30,854
Too bad.

1661
01:51:47,871 --> 01:51:50,206
Can I ask you a question?

1662
01:51:51,291 --> 01:51:53,501
Have you ever had a Latin lover?

1663
01:51:53,877 --> 01:51:57,422
Where does he get his name
from is what I want to know.

1664
01:51:59,799 --> 01:52:03,970
Why did you wait so long to
leave that Simms character?

1665
01:52:04,137 --> 01:52:09,059
It takes time to realize Prince Charming
might be wearing a beer-stained shirt...

1666
01:52:09,225 --> 01:52:10,810
...eating sausage...

1667
01:52:10,977 --> 01:52:14,731
...making $7 an hour
in some driving range.

1668
01:52:14,898 --> 01:52:19,819
You don't try to fix men, I hope.
Men cannot be fixed, especially him.

1669
01:52:20,070 --> 01:52:22,989
I've been pathetically
slow learning that lesson.

1670
01:52:23,615 --> 01:52:25,158
- How are you?
- How are you?

1671
01:52:25,325 --> 01:52:26,159
Good.

1672
01:52:26,326 --> 01:52:27,619
I could use help.

1673
01:52:27,827 --> 01:52:31,623
I've seen what you've done with McAvoy.
It could come in handy.

1674
01:52:31,831 --> 01:52:33,917
Let me give you my card.

1675
01:52:34,084 --> 01:52:35,168
Great.

1676
01:52:35,377 --> 01:52:39,506
If you have more of these, a bunch of
the other guys could use your help.

1677
01:52:39,714 --> 01:52:41,049
Take them all.

1678
01:52:41,216 --> 01:52:43,301
- This is Doreen.
- Hi, how are you?

1679
01:52:43,426 --> 01:52:45,720
My number's there, call any time.

1680
01:52:45,929 --> 01:52:48,515
I counsel couples, so bring
your caddie if you want.

1681
01:52:48,723 --> 01:52:50,517
I'll think about it,
and I'll give you a call.

1682
01:52:50,725 --> 01:52:51,434
Thanks.

1683
01:52:51,601 --> 01:52:53,395
Bye, nice meeting you.

1684
01:52:53,978 --> 01:52:54,729
Cheers.

1685
01:52:54,938 --> 01:52:55,855
Cheers.

1686
01:53:21,006 --> 01:53:24,009
That puts Jacobsen
into a tie at 7, guys.

1687
01:53:24,175 --> 01:53:28,096
That Tin Cup guy is one shot back.
Let's keep abreast of that.

1688
01:53:28,638 --> 01:53:31,558
That birdie by Peter
Jacobsen forged a tie...

1689
01:53:31,808 --> 01:53:33,977
...at 7 under with David Simms.

1690
01:53:34,144 --> 01:53:36,980
And Roy McAvoy
just won't go away.

1691
01:53:37,147 --> 01:53:39,899
He's only one shot back at 6 under par.

1692
01:53:56,416 --> 01:54:00,545
He's throwing darts. If we don't make
birdies, we're playing for second.

1693
01:54:00,837 --> 01:54:03,089
Can you believe McAvoy's still here?

1694
01:54:03,256 --> 01:54:06,343
I can't believe "Tin Cup" might
appear with my name on a trophy.

1695
01:54:06,509 --> 01:54:10,013
It's come down to the 72nd
hole of this championship...

1696
01:54:10,180 --> 01:54:14,100
...and 3 men all battling to be
crowned the Open champion.

1697
01:54:14,267 --> 01:54:16,102
Jacobsen's on the fairway...

1698
01:54:16,269 --> 01:54:17,687
...at 8 under par...

1699
01:54:17,854 --> 01:54:21,358
...tied for the lead with Roy
McAvoy, who's on the 18th tee.

1700
01:54:21,524 --> 01:54:24,652
And David Simms is back
there trailing by one.

1701
01:54:41,294 --> 01:54:43,380
- Jacobsen's laying up.
- Took out an iron.

1702
01:54:43,505 --> 01:54:47,884
Jacobsen's going to lay up.
He's tied for the lead.

1703
01:54:48,051 --> 01:54:50,053
Assures himself of a par...

1704
01:54:50,220 --> 01:54:51,304
...and with his short game...

1705
01:54:51,471 --> 01:54:52,764
...he could make birdie.

1706
01:54:53,973 --> 01:54:55,975
You ain't going to have that luxury.

1707
01:54:58,144 --> 01:54:59,896
Not if you play to win.

1708
01:55:26,172 --> 01:55:28,258
We've seen this position before.

1709
01:55:28,425 --> 01:55:31,511
McAvoy with another
perfect drive at the 18th.

1710
01:55:31,636 --> 01:55:35,724
The last thing he needs right now
is an excuse to go for the green.

1711
01:55:36,016 --> 01:55:37,267
I didn't catch it all.

1712
01:55:37,434 --> 01:55:40,520
Well, that's okay.
You'll have to lay up then.

1713
01:56:16,056 --> 01:56:17,599
This is for par.

1714
01:56:20,810 --> 01:56:22,562
So, birdie wins it.

1715
01:56:23,480 --> 01:56:24,856
That's par.

1716
01:56:26,232 --> 01:56:27,567
He's in the lead.

1717
01:56:29,069 --> 01:56:30,695
They all must catch him.

1718
01:56:30,862 --> 01:56:32,155
You or me, Dave?

1719
01:56:44,668 --> 01:56:46,086
He's laying up.

1720
01:56:47,087 --> 01:56:48,505
He's laying up.

1721
01:56:50,090 --> 01:56:54,594
Birdie to tie, eagle to win.
Gutless wonder's laying up.

1722
01:56:54,719 --> 01:56:58,515
It's birdie to win and par
to tie for you. Lay up.

1723
01:56:59,683 --> 01:57:02,394
You can still make a birdie laying up.

1724
01:57:03,103 --> 01:57:04,604
You know what?

1725
01:57:04,729 --> 01:57:07,440
If I make an eagle that puts me 10 under.

1726
01:57:07,607 --> 01:57:10,735
No one's ever finished an Open
10 under, not even Nicklaus.

1727
01:57:11,361 --> 01:57:15,615
You don't need an eagle to win.
Birdie wins, par ties.

1728
01:57:15,740 --> 01:57:16,908
Lay it up.

1729
01:57:19,703 --> 01:57:23,832
Birdie wins, parties. Hole out
a wedge for a goddamn eagle?!

1730
01:57:26,042 --> 01:57:27,544
This is everything.

1731
01:57:27,877 --> 01:57:31,631
This is the choice it comes down
to, this is our immortality.

1732
01:57:31,756 --> 01:57:35,844
Don't think about immortality,
think "hit the 7-iron".

1733
01:57:39,806 --> 01:57:44,644
No, no, no. This is what always
happens. He's going for it.

1734
01:57:44,811 --> 01:57:45,812
Go for it!

1735
01:57:49,232 --> 01:57:50,817
Molly, get a grip.

1736
01:57:51,317 --> 01:57:54,821
He only needs par to tie.
Tell him to lay up.

1737
01:57:54,988 --> 01:57:57,490
Go for it, Roy! Just knock it on!

1738
01:57:58,408 --> 01:58:02,162
This is why we broke up.
He always went for it.

1739
01:58:02,329 --> 01:58:06,499
My problem is, I've never been
with a man who went for it.

1740
01:58:06,666 --> 01:58:09,002
Honey, he's your guy.

1741
01:58:11,254 --> 01:58:12,922
One swing, Roy.

1742
01:58:13,506 --> 01:58:15,592
One good swing.

1743
01:58:18,261 --> 01:58:20,930
John Daly couldn't do it.
What's he doing?

1744
01:58:21,097 --> 01:58:23,933
Unbelievable he's going
for it 4 days in a row.

1745
01:58:24,100 --> 01:58:26,102
No, 3 days he's put it in the water.

1746
01:58:26,269 --> 01:58:28,772
It'll be 4 days if he hits his 3-wood.

1747
01:58:31,107 --> 01:58:32,692
Come on, baby.

1748
01:58:32,942 --> 01:58:34,277
We're home.

1749
01:58:35,445 --> 01:58:36,946
This has a chance.

1750
01:58:37,113 --> 01:58:38,281
It's got to go.

1751
01:58:38,448 --> 01:58:40,867
This has a chance.
I think he's done it.

1752
01:58:43,787 --> 01:58:44,954
Little gust there.

1753
01:58:56,383 --> 01:58:57,467
Stay up!

1754
01:58:57,717 --> 01:58:58,885
Stay up!

1755
01:58:59,886 --> 01:59:01,054
Stay up!

1756
01:59:18,071 --> 01:59:20,240
You can still make par from there.

1757
01:59:20,407 --> 01:59:21,241
Right.

1758
01:59:21,658 --> 01:59:24,077
Take a drop, we'll make par, we'll tie.

1759
01:59:24,244 --> 01:59:27,497
I nutted that thing.
I mean, I nutted it.

1760
01:59:27,831 --> 01:59:30,250
I know. You put a hell of a move on it.

1761
01:59:30,417 --> 01:59:32,669
Little gust from the gods cost me.

1762
01:59:32,836 --> 01:59:34,754
We'll take our drop, tie...

1763
01:59:34,921 --> 01:59:36,172
...and win the playoff.

1764
01:59:36,339 --> 01:59:38,425
- I can make that shot!
- I know!

1765
01:59:38,591 --> 01:59:40,093
- But not now!
- Now!

1766
01:59:40,844 --> 01:59:43,430
I'm playing it from right here, now.

1767
01:59:44,931 --> 01:59:46,266
Make your par.

1768
01:59:47,100 --> 01:59:47,767
Now.

1769
01:59:48,268 --> 01:59:49,519
Take your drop.

1770
01:59:50,020 --> 01:59:51,104
Give me a ball.

1771
01:59:51,271 --> 01:59:52,939
Unbelievable.

1772
01:59:55,442 --> 01:59:57,444
I can't watch this.

1773
02:00:04,034 --> 02:00:05,118
Fourth shot.

1774
02:00:05,869 --> 02:00:10,290
I don't believe this. He could go
up, use the drop zone, make par...

1775
02:00:10,457 --> 02:00:13,710
...force a playoff with
Jacobsen and get out of here.

1776
02:00:13,877 --> 02:00:17,213
Easy, guys. He can still make 5.
He can still make 5.

1777
02:00:17,380 --> 02:00:19,466
We could still have a playoff.

1778
02:00:41,071 --> 02:00:42,155
Give me a ball.

1779
02:00:42,822 --> 02:00:43,823
Take a drop.

1780
02:00:44,824 --> 02:00:46,242
Give me a ball!

1781
02:00:47,077 --> 02:00:48,411
Just take your drop.

1782
02:00:55,502 --> 02:00:57,754
Dropping 5, hitting 6.

1783
02:00:57,921 --> 02:01:02,175
What's he doing? All he'd have to
do is walk up there and take a drop.

1784
02:01:02,342 --> 02:01:04,761
Make a 5, for crying out loud.
That's insane.

1785
02:01:05,261 --> 02:01:07,013
Somebody tackle him.

1786
02:01:09,432 --> 02:01:10,684
Give me a ball.

1787
02:01:23,029 --> 02:01:24,197
Dropping 7...

1788
02:01:24,364 --> 02:01:26,282
...hitting his 8th shot.

1789
02:01:32,038 --> 02:01:34,708
It's a miracle he lasted this long.

1790
02:01:42,632 --> 02:01:44,801
We ought to have
a camera on Simms.

1791
02:01:44,968 --> 02:01:46,553
He can't watch.

1792
02:01:46,720 --> 02:01:49,556
Someone tell him he doesn't
have to hit it from there.

1793
02:01:51,474 --> 02:01:54,060
He's dropping 9. He's hitting 10.

1794
02:02:07,157 --> 02:02:09,326
God, I'm going to faint.

1795
02:02:10,910 --> 02:02:12,078
Oh, Jesus.

1796
02:02:19,252 --> 02:02:23,423
This is the last ball in the bag.
This gets wet, we're disqualified.

1797
02:02:23,673 --> 02:02:25,425
I can make it across.

1798
02:02:25,592 --> 02:02:26,676
Then do it.

1799
02:02:26,843 --> 02:02:28,428
Quit fucking around.

1800
02:02:38,855 --> 02:02:40,106
He's crazy.

1801
02:02:41,524 --> 02:02:43,526
Oh, God. He's right.

1802
02:02:43,693 --> 02:02:46,863
You're right, Roy!
Just knock it on! Let her rip!

1803
02:02:47,030 --> 02:02:49,532
- You're losing it.
- I have lost it.

1804
02:02:50,200 --> 02:02:51,284
But so has he.

1805
02:02:54,454 --> 02:02:56,373
- He's crazy.
- So are you.

1806
02:02:56,623 --> 02:02:58,041
This is a 12.

1807
02:02:58,208 --> 02:03:01,961
He must start worrying about
qualifying for next year's Open.

1808
02:03:02,128 --> 02:03:03,380
He lost this one.

1809
02:03:03,546 --> 02:03:05,131
He'll end up selling...

1810
02:03:05,298 --> 02:03:08,802
...ties and renting golf
carts the rest of his life.

1811
02:03:08,968 --> 02:03:13,223
I don't know what I'm feeling. This is
the most painful thing I've ever seen.

1812
02:03:13,556 --> 02:03:17,477
He doesn't finish the
hole with this ball...

1813
02:03:17,644 --> 02:03:19,229
...he's disqualified.

1814
02:03:19,396 --> 02:03:22,399
Oh, my God. Dear Lord, please.
Dear Lord.

1815
02:03:46,339 --> 02:03:47,090
Get over.

1816
02:03:53,596 --> 02:03:54,431
He's over.

1817
02:04:22,459 --> 02:04:24,252
I can't believe it!

1818
02:04:26,838 --> 02:04:28,506
I love you!

1819
02:04:30,633 --> 02:04:32,093
My God!

1820
02:04:47,359 --> 02:04:49,527
- Unbelievable!
- Jesus Christ!

1821
02:04:49,694 --> 02:04:51,446
Did you see this?

1822
02:04:52,822 --> 02:04:55,367
That was a 12. That was a 12.

1823
02:04:55,659 --> 02:04:57,994
He was on the green
and in and out in 12.

1824
02:06:02,142 --> 02:06:04,227
Boss, you blew that one.

1825
02:06:04,394 --> 02:06:08,148
- I didn't come here to play for second.
- Simms'll always be second.

1826
02:06:12,986 --> 02:06:16,906
I'll meet you at the Winnebago!
I'll fire up the blender!

1827
02:06:20,493 --> 02:06:22,579
I just gave away the U.S. Open.

1828
02:06:28,335 --> 02:06:32,339
That was incredible! That was
the shot of the tournament!

1829
02:06:32,922 --> 02:06:35,258
I just gave away the U.S. Open.

1830
02:06:35,425 --> 02:06:36,760
It doesn't matter.

1831
02:06:37,594 --> 02:06:41,514
One time in my life I know the
safe play to hit and I still...

1832
02:06:41,681 --> 02:06:43,683
Shit, I still can't make myself do it.

1833
02:06:43,850 --> 02:06:44,768
It doesn't matter.

1834
02:06:44,934 --> 02:06:47,937
My whole career, my whole
life on the line...

1835
02:06:48,104 --> 02:06:50,607
I just made a 12 on the
last hole of the Open!

1836
02:06:50,774 --> 02:06:54,110
You sure did. It was the
greatest 12 of all time.

1837
02:06:54,277 --> 02:06:57,697
No one's going to remember the
Open 5 years from now, who won...

1838
02:06:57,864 --> 02:06:59,699
...but they'll remember your 12!

1839
02:06:59,866 --> 02:07:03,286
My, God, Roy, it was...
Well, it's immortal!

1840
02:07:03,453 --> 02:07:05,455
I am so proud of you!

1841
02:07:09,793 --> 02:07:11,795
I gotta hand it to you.

1842
02:07:11,961 --> 02:07:15,048
When you go down,
you go down in flames.

1843
02:07:16,383 --> 02:07:17,717
Never mind.

1844
02:07:18,301 --> 02:07:19,386
Kiss me.

1845
02:07:20,720 --> 02:07:23,223
- David, you got a minute?
- Not right now.

1846
02:07:24,724 --> 02:07:26,309
Can I have your autograph?

1847
02:07:26,476 --> 02:07:29,396
Sure, I always got time
for my fans, darling.

1848
02:07:29,562 --> 02:07:32,065
Don't you look cute. Come on under.

1849
02:07:39,239 --> 02:07:41,074
Nice par, David.

1850
02:08:27,454 --> 02:08:32,292
By finishing in the top 15 at the Open
you qualified to be in it next year.

1851
02:08:33,126 --> 02:08:34,210
Really?

1852
02:08:35,879 --> 02:08:37,797
I didn't know that.

1853
02:08:37,964 --> 02:08:42,552
With your game you could go back to the
qualifying school and go out on tour.

1854
02:08:44,971 --> 02:08:46,389
Then I wouldn't see you.

1855
02:08:47,307 --> 02:08:51,644
Actually, I picked up a whole
bunch of new clients at the Open.

1856
02:08:51,811 --> 02:08:55,732
Guys said if I could do that for you,
imagine what I could do for them.

1857
02:08:57,651 --> 02:09:00,153
There's a lot of head cases out there.

1858
02:09:01,488 --> 02:09:03,740
A man goes through what I have...

1859
02:09:03,907 --> 02:09:05,408
...he's supposed to learn something.

1860
02:09:05,575 --> 02:09:07,661
I'm trying to figure out what I learned.

1861
02:09:10,080 --> 02:09:11,998
You think I learned anything?

1862
02:09:12,916 --> 02:09:16,002
You learned a little discipline,
some self-control.

1863
02:09:16,169 --> 02:09:17,754
I learned...

1864
02:09:17,921 --> 02:09:21,925
...you can't just listen to your
heart, but also to your brain.

1865
02:09:22,092 --> 02:09:24,844
I'm learning how to listen
to that tuning fork...

1866
02:09:25,011 --> 02:09:27,180
...throw caution to the wind and...

1867
02:09:27,347 --> 02:09:30,684
...take crazy risks I never
thought were possible.

1868
02:09:31,017 --> 02:09:34,187
Come on, Molly, when did
you ever take a crazy risk?

1869
02:09:35,271 --> 02:09:37,190
I'm with you, Roy.

1870
02:09:40,360 --> 02:09:42,028
I'm with you.

1871
02:09:46,282 --> 02:09:47,617
You know...

1872
02:09:48,451 --> 02:09:50,453
...we could kiss...

1873
02:09:51,788 --> 02:09:54,624
You mean like a no harm, no foul kiss?

1874
02:09:54,791 --> 02:09:57,627
Yeah, kind of a semi-platonic little...

1875
02:09:58,461 --> 02:09:59,462
...sweet...

1876
02:09:59,629 --> 02:10:00,880
...innocent...

1877
02:10:01,047 --> 02:10:02,549
Good idea!