1
00:01:04,520 --> 00:01:06,238
You're lucky, you know.
2
00:01:06,480 --> 00:01:09,597
l rarely allow anyone into my flat.
3
00:01:09,960 --> 00:01:13,316
l know, l know, l know.
4
00:01:13,560 --> 00:01:15,471
Humble digs.
5
00:01:15,720 --> 00:01:18,871
Not exactly what you'd call
a ''panty peeler. ''
6
00:01:20,400 --> 00:01:22,152
Do you know what I mean?
7
00:01:24,120 --> 00:01:26,554
But it suits me just fine.
8
00:01:26,800 --> 00:01:30,349
To be honest, I rareIy spend a night
in my own bed anyway.
9
00:01:32,000 --> 00:01:33,558
You see, here's my theory:
10
00:01:33,800 --> 00:01:36,712
For most women, if a guy's
a good provider
11
00:01:36,960 --> 00:01:41,158
and generaIIy a nice chap, six-pack
abs reaIIy aren't a deaI-breaker.
12
00:01:41,400 --> 00:01:42,913
On the fIip side, however,
13
00:01:43,160 --> 00:01:45,230
even though the PC boyfriend
sat next to you
14
00:01:45,480 --> 00:01:47,948
with his arm sIung around
your shouIder wiII deny it--
15
00:01:48,520 --> 00:01:53,230
And he wiII deny it. For us boys,
it's aII about F.B.B.
16
00:01:56,520 --> 00:02:00,115
Face. Boobs. Bum.
17
00:02:00,360 --> 00:02:01,952
I'm just being honest.
18
00:02:02,480 --> 00:02:05,392
It's been said that cIothes
speak the internationaI Ianguage.
19
00:02:05,640 --> 00:02:08,791
And I have to admit,
I'm a bit of a fashion whore.
20
00:02:09,400 --> 00:02:12,437
UnfortunateIy, today I've got work,
and I have to tone it down a IittIe bit,
21
00:02:12,680 --> 00:02:15,672
but that's aII right. Gucci.
End-of-summer saIe.
22
00:02:15,920 --> 00:02:20,277
Very understated.
And I can easiIy spice it up with...
23
00:02:20,840 --> 00:02:23,593
What? No, no. I know
what you are thinking.
24
00:02:23,840 --> 00:02:25,910
If you ooze mascuIinity,
Iike some of us do,
25
00:02:26,160 --> 00:02:29,277
you have no reason to fear pink.
Smashing.
26
00:02:30,640 --> 00:02:33,950
Now, in the coIogne department,
most men overdo it.
27
00:02:34,200 --> 00:02:38,273
Americans practicaIIy spray it on
with a crop-duster.
28
00:02:38,520 --> 00:02:41,717
My ruIe: Nothing above the neck,
29
00:02:41,960 --> 00:02:45,270
though I do Iike a IittIe spIash
on Big Ben.
30
00:02:45,640 --> 00:02:47,870
You never know
where the day may take you.
31
00:02:51,000 --> 00:02:52,797
AImost forgot.
32
00:02:53,560 --> 00:02:54,879
New word for the day.
33
00:02:56,600 --> 00:03:02,675
''Ostentatious: The attempt
to attract attention to oneseIf.''
34
00:03:02,920 --> 00:03:05,275
Who? Me?
35
00:03:07,480 --> 00:03:10,552
Oh, bIimey. I'm so rude.
I haven't introduced myseIf.
36
00:03:10,800 --> 00:03:13,075
- I'm...
- AIfie?
37
00:03:13,640 --> 00:03:15,790
There you go. AIfie.
38
00:03:16,040 --> 00:03:20,670
Are you the IittIe eIf that Ieft these
mocha bonbons on my doorstep?
39
00:03:20,920 --> 00:03:24,469
No, no, no. You must have
a secret admirer, Mrs Schnitman.
40
00:03:24,720 --> 00:03:28,508
You are such a doII, AIfie.
But I'm supposed to be on a diet.
41
00:03:28,760 --> 00:03:29,715
Oh, on a diet?
42
00:03:29,960 --> 00:03:31,075
- A diet.
- You?
43
00:03:31,320 --> 00:03:33,595
- Yeah.
- Now, I don't mean to be forward, Lu,
44
00:03:33,840 --> 00:03:37,515
but you shouId know by now
that a fuII-figured girI Iike yourseIf
45
00:03:37,720 --> 00:03:40,439
- is every guy's secret fantasy.
- Stop it.
46
00:03:40,640 --> 00:03:43,029
So she's a tub of Iard.
The ship's aIready saiIed,
47
00:03:43,280 --> 00:03:45,555
so why not make her
feeI good about herseIf, right?
48
00:03:45,800 --> 00:03:47,518
- Oh, Lu?
- Yes, angeI?
49
00:03:47,760 --> 00:03:48,749
I'm working the night spot,
50
00:03:48,960 --> 00:03:51,394
and my apartment is a horror show,
so I'm sorry if I keep you up
51
00:03:51,640 --> 00:03:54,154
- with the dust-busting at 2 a.m.
- Oh, don't you worry.
52
00:03:54,400 --> 00:03:57,437
- I'II give it a quick straighten.
- Oh, no, no, you don't need to that.
53
00:03:57,680 --> 00:04:01,195
Nonsense.
I Iike doing things for you, AIfie.
54
00:04:01,640 --> 00:04:04,393
I'm a bIessed man
having you in my Iife.
55
00:04:06,320 --> 00:04:07,389
Thank you.
56
00:04:07,880 --> 00:04:09,996
Keys are in the usuaI spot.
57
00:04:15,720 --> 00:04:18,393
Now, back home, you're always
hearing tales about some bloke
58
00:04:18,640 --> 00:04:21,632
migrating to the States and winding
up with buckets of money.
59
00:04:21,880 --> 00:04:25,998
So not long ago, l packed up
my bucket and headed west.
60
00:04:26,240 --> 00:04:28,993
Now, I must admit,
I had a second motive.
61
00:04:29,720 --> 00:04:34,396
I'd aIways been toId that the most
beautifuI women in the worId...
62
00:04:35,520 --> 00:04:37,112
...resided in Manhattan.
63
00:04:37,360 --> 00:04:40,557
And when it comes to shagging birds,
it's aII about one thing:
64
00:04:41,080 --> 00:04:45,790
Location, Iocation, Iocation.
65
00:04:46,040 --> 00:04:48,713
God, l love this city.
AII right, girIs.
66
00:04:49,400 --> 00:04:53,439
Just look around. l mean,
every one of them, unique, special,
67
00:04:53,680 --> 00:04:55,477
like snowflakes.
68
00:04:58,200 --> 00:04:59,519
And with such a pIethora--
69
00:05:00,120 --> 00:05:04,159
CaIendar word meaning ''abundance,''
of gorgeousness and diversity,
70
00:05:04,400 --> 00:05:08,279
weII, how couId a man ever choose
to settIe down with just one?
71
00:05:09,680 --> 00:05:12,797
I myseIf subscribe more
to the European phiIosophy of Iife.
72
00:05:13,040 --> 00:05:16,271
My priorities Ieaning towards
wine, women--
73
00:05:16,520 --> 00:05:18,556
WeII, actuaIIy, that's about it.
74
00:05:18,800 --> 00:05:20,631
Wine and women.
75
00:05:22,680 --> 00:05:26,832
AIthough, women and women
is aIways a fun option.
76
00:05:29,840 --> 00:05:31,273
So...
77
00:05:32,000 --> 00:05:34,514
...to Iive Iife to the fuIIest,
78
00:05:35,400 --> 00:05:38,949
I require onIy enough
to cover my modest expenses.
79
00:05:40,080 --> 00:05:43,356
I've no desire to be the richest stiff
in the cemetery.
80
00:05:53,120 --> 00:05:56,396
I think this might just be my
favourite position.
81
00:05:56,640 --> 00:05:59,108
I know it was President Kennedy's.
82
00:06:00,200 --> 00:06:02,270
He was such a great Ieader.
83
00:06:02,520 --> 00:06:04,795
Of course, JFK used the oId
bad-back excuse,
84
00:06:05,040 --> 00:06:07,998
but if you ask me, he knew
it gave you maximum pIeasure
85
00:06:08,240 --> 00:06:09,639
with minimum exertion.
86
00:06:09,880 --> 00:06:12,519
What is it about the back of a Iimo?
87
00:06:16,800 --> 00:06:18,916
ObIigatory cuddIing.
88
00:06:19,440 --> 00:06:21,237
Thousand one,
89
00:06:21,480 --> 00:06:23,596
thousand two...
90
00:06:23,840 --> 00:06:28,118
Cripes. Hey, I've gotta get cracking.
I've got a 1 0:00 pickup.
91
00:06:28,360 --> 00:06:33,388
You better hurry up.
You don't want to keep her waiting.
92
00:06:38,600 --> 00:06:41,068
Quite the number, isn't she?
93
00:06:41,840 --> 00:06:46,516
Yet, she teIIs me her oId man
hasn't shagged her in six months.
94
00:06:47,120 --> 00:06:51,238
Six months. I mean, thank God
there are gentIemen Iike me around
95
00:06:51,480 --> 00:06:53,436
to pick up the sIack.
96
00:06:53,840 --> 00:06:57,355
Just Iook at her.
Legs Iike a racehorse.
97
00:06:57,600 --> 00:07:01,434
Perfect yoga bum. I give her
my highest grade:
98
00:07:01,880 --> 00:07:03,598
A-minus.
99
00:07:13,520 --> 00:07:15,476
Where did we teII the oId man
we were going tonight?
100
00:07:15,720 --> 00:07:18,393
- A movie.
- Treasure, pIease, no, no, no.
101
00:07:18,640 --> 00:07:21,438
Stop messing about.
You'II ruin my presets.
102
00:07:21,680 --> 00:07:24,069
- Sorry.
- What movie?
103
00:07:24,320 --> 00:07:26,754
I don't know. What's the difference?
104
00:07:27,240 --> 00:07:31,677
The difference is, the more detaiI
you give, the Iess interested he'II be.
105
00:07:31,920 --> 00:07:33,638
It wouIdn't matter what I said.
106
00:07:34,080 --> 00:07:35,832
It wouId never occur to PhiI
that another man
107
00:07:36,080 --> 00:07:37,832
- wouId ever Iook twice at me.
- Dor, darIing,
108
00:07:38,080 --> 00:07:39,149
you fishing for a compIiment?
109
00:07:39,560 --> 00:07:40,675
No.
110
00:07:40,920 --> 00:07:45,277
You shouId know by now they onIy
come from me when Ieast expected.
111
00:07:46,320 --> 00:07:49,756
Now, come and have a mint so PhiI
doesn't smeII the AIfie on your breath.
112
00:07:50,000 --> 00:07:52,514
I don't care if he does.
113
00:07:53,080 --> 00:07:57,153
There's one thing that puts me
off marriage: It's married women.
114
00:07:57,560 --> 00:07:59,596
Dorie doesn't know it yet,
115
00:08:00,080 --> 00:08:02,435
but you won't be seeing
much more of her.
116
00:08:02,680 --> 00:08:05,194
I've got that aII-too-famiIiar feeIing.
117
00:08:05,440 --> 00:08:09,752
Sooner or Iater, she'II be wanting
a IittIe bit more than I'm abIe to give.
118
00:08:11,080 --> 00:08:13,310
WouIdn't it be great if I was
going home with you tonight
119
00:08:13,560 --> 00:08:16,028
instead of PhiI the PiII?
120
00:08:16,600 --> 00:08:18,158
Yeah.
121
00:08:18,640 --> 00:08:22,030
lt's definitely time
to stage a disappearing act.
122
00:08:24,640 --> 00:08:27,950
So next Tuesday,
same time, same pIace?
123
00:08:29,440 --> 00:08:32,796
I'm sorry, Iove, it's Fashion Week.
I'm booked doubIe shifts.
124
00:08:33,640 --> 00:08:36,313
- I'II caII you the instant things Iet up.
- Okay.
125
00:08:37,080 --> 00:08:40,834
In the meantime, I Ieft you
a IittIe souvenir to remember me by.
126
00:08:45,080 --> 00:08:46,718
Oh, Dor?
127
00:08:48,600 --> 00:08:52,718
Your derriere Iooks reaIIy rather
ravishing from this vantage point.
128
00:08:55,360 --> 00:08:56,759
See?
129
00:08:57,440 --> 00:09:00,591
A compIiment when Ieast expected.
130
00:09:07,080 --> 00:09:10,629
What can I say?
Happy as a pup with two taiIs.
131
00:09:12,520 --> 00:09:15,751
And I think I've done oId PhiI
a bit of a favour too.
132
00:09:16,000 --> 00:09:17,911
Of course, he'd be the Iast to see it.
133
00:09:20,640 --> 00:09:23,871
Never expect any thanks in this Iife.
134
00:09:24,120 --> 00:09:28,113
You know what I mean?
So Tuesday...
135
00:09:30,080 --> 00:09:31,991
...1 0:03 p.m.
136
00:09:32,240 --> 00:09:36,916
Do I drag myseIf home
to a coId fIat, empty fridge,
137
00:09:37,160 --> 00:09:43,998
or nip across town for a hot bath,
warm body, breakfast in bed?
138
00:09:46,960 --> 00:09:49,633
Decisions, decisions...
139
00:09:57,640 --> 00:10:01,030
Yeah, l think l'll pay a visit
to my semi-regular,
140
00:10:01,280 --> 00:10:04,352
quasi, sort of girlfriend.
141
00:10:05,560 --> 00:10:07,596
My sweet Julie.
142
00:10:13,160 --> 00:10:15,230
Let me guess.
Unexpected Iast-minute fare.
143
00:10:15,480 --> 00:10:18,552
Yeah. She had me going
up and down for hours.
144
00:10:18,800 --> 00:10:22,270
That supposed to be funny?
Because it is so very--
145
00:10:23,000 --> 00:10:24,558
Not.
146
00:10:25,360 --> 00:10:26,839
Hey!
147
00:10:27,800 --> 00:10:29,995
I'm not kidding, AIfie!
148
00:10:30,360 --> 00:10:31,839
I'm not kidding. I hate you sometimes.
149
00:10:32,040 --> 00:10:33,792
You have a very ostentatious way
of showing it.
150
00:10:34,040 --> 00:10:35,712
Yeah, I sure do.
151
00:10:37,720 --> 00:10:42,589
No, darIing. Can we hit pause?
I just need a second to unwind.
152
00:10:43,280 --> 00:10:46,113
Oh, I nicked haIf a bottIe
of StoIi from the Iimo.
153
00:10:46,360 --> 00:10:47,713
How do you want yours,
on the rocks?
154
00:10:47,960 --> 00:10:50,428
I just want my usuaI, AIfie. Straight up.
155
00:10:50,680 --> 00:10:53,797
No, I'm so totaIIy knackered.
I'II make it up to you in the morning.
156
00:10:54,040 --> 00:10:56,110
Cross my heart.
157
00:10:56,800 --> 00:11:01,237
But tonight, aII I'm good for
is a bite to eat, hot bath
158
00:11:01,480 --> 00:11:03,471
and a nice Iong sIeep.
159
00:11:16,560 --> 00:11:18,710
You know, this isn't
a HoIiday Inn, AIfie.
160
00:11:20,000 --> 00:11:21,592
What's that again?
161
00:11:22,400 --> 00:11:24,868
Where were you tonight? ReaIIy?
162
00:11:25,120 --> 00:11:27,475
You've got to open a restaurant.
That's seriousIy deIicious.
163
00:11:27,720 --> 00:11:30,439
Thanks, AIfie. It's just chiIIi.
164
00:11:31,520 --> 00:11:32,839
Hey.
165
00:11:33,840 --> 00:11:36,638
A IittIe eye contact, pIease.
166
00:11:38,360 --> 00:11:40,157
We have something here,
167
00:11:40,680 --> 00:11:45,435
or am I just a gIorified booty caII?
168
00:11:46,160 --> 00:11:47,513
Hey.
169
00:11:50,400 --> 00:11:51,753
Hey.
170
00:11:54,600 --> 00:11:56,431
Here's what she's reaIIy saying:
171
00:11:56,680 --> 00:12:00,593
She wants me to commit.
TransIation: Become ''domestified.''
172
00:12:00,840 --> 00:12:05,914
Now, it doesn't do to become
dependent on anybody in this Iife.
173
00:12:09,240 --> 00:12:12,676
Change your nature,
you're a dead man.
174
00:12:14,320 --> 00:12:16,197
ChiIIi, pIease.
175
00:12:21,200 --> 00:12:24,158
Don't get me wrong.
She's adorabIe.
176
00:12:24,400 --> 00:12:27,870
Cute? AbsoIuteIy.
But is it ever enough?
177
00:12:29,920 --> 00:12:32,957
I toId you how we men are.
We want showstoppers.
178
00:12:33,320 --> 00:12:35,914
And the probIem is,
JuIie hasn't got enough
179
00:12:36,120 --> 00:12:38,714
of the superficiaI things
that reaIIy matter.
180
00:12:41,960 --> 00:12:45,396
- I don't deserve you.
- Yeah, that's probabIy true.
181
00:12:46,520 --> 00:12:48,954
Too bad I Iove you.
182
00:12:50,840 --> 00:12:52,558
Thanks, babe.
183
00:12:52,800 --> 00:12:55,872
- AIfie, AIfie...
- What?
184
00:12:56,720 --> 00:12:59,314
You're giving me the ''Thanks, babe.''
185
00:12:59,840 --> 00:13:01,876
You're giving me the ''Thanks, baby.''
186
00:13:02,120 --> 00:13:04,190
- CaIm down.
- Don't teII me to caIm down!
187
00:13:04,560 --> 00:13:06,118
- I know how you feeI!
- Wait a minute.
188
00:13:06,360 --> 00:13:08,715
- You're gonna wake up--
- Max.
189
00:13:09,800 --> 00:13:12,075
Hey, IittIe man. Did we wake you up?
190
00:13:12,320 --> 00:13:13,958
Yes.
191
00:13:16,720 --> 00:13:20,190
Now, Iads, Iearn from my mistake.
192
00:13:21,240 --> 00:13:23,151
Never get invoIved
with a singIe mum.
193
00:13:23,400 --> 00:13:25,755
See, they come with accessories,
194
00:13:26,000 --> 00:13:27,638
some of which can be...
195
00:13:28,960 --> 00:13:32,555
...unfortunateIy, irresistibIe.
196
00:13:49,240 --> 00:13:54,075
Sights Iike that make you reaIize
we aII have an expiration date.
197
00:13:54,880 --> 00:13:57,474
And women do have a shorter
sheIf Iife than men, don't they?
198
00:13:57,920 --> 00:14:00,354
I think that's what JuIie
was banging on about yesterday.
199
00:14:03,080 --> 00:14:05,594
EIegant Limousine and Chauffeur.
200
00:14:05,840 --> 00:14:09,833
This is where I make
my reasonabIy honest Iiving.
201
00:14:10,440 --> 00:14:13,637
Standards of eIegance has taken
quite a pounding, wouIdn't you say?
202
00:14:13,880 --> 00:14:16,838
I know. BeIieve me,
it's mereIy a stepping stone.
203
00:14:17,680 --> 00:14:19,557
CurrentIy parked on one
of those stepping stones
204
00:14:19,800 --> 00:14:24,112
is my best mate and future
business partner, MarIon.
205
00:14:26,920 --> 00:14:30,151
BIack. Like Lonette's skin...
206
00:14:31,240 --> 00:14:33,708
...which I wiII never again touch.
207
00:14:36,320 --> 00:14:39,949
I'm afraid you're not meeting
my man on top form.
208
00:14:40,920 --> 00:14:43,195
See, MarIon's got a probIem.
209
00:14:54,080 --> 00:14:55,911
lt's called Lonette.
210
00:14:56,160 --> 00:14:58,799
And very recently, it dumped him.
211
00:14:59,040 --> 00:15:00,792
Oh, dear. Come on,
what was it this time?
212
00:15:02,120 --> 00:15:04,953
Three a.m. begging, at her front door.
213
00:15:05,200 --> 00:15:07,919
- LeveI of inebriation?
- Vomiting.
214
00:15:08,520 --> 00:15:10,988
Right. So Iet me get this straight.
You were at her front door,
215
00:15:11,240 --> 00:15:14,437
3 a.m. in the morning,
begging and vomiting?
216
00:15:14,920 --> 00:15:18,469
And what,
she wasn't charmed by that?
217
00:15:19,560 --> 00:15:24,315
AIfie? Why is there no StoIi
in car number two?
218
00:15:24,560 --> 00:15:26,312
I've no idea.
219
00:15:27,000 --> 00:15:30,072
I gotta watch this guy Iike a hawk.
220
00:15:30,320 --> 00:15:31,799
That IittIe chap's name is Wing.
221
00:15:32,040 --> 00:15:35,191
My boss and owner
of this tragic enterprise.
222
00:15:35,440 --> 00:15:38,034
- Wipe that car good.
- Owner, that is, tiII me and MarIon
223
00:15:38,240 --> 00:15:40,595
swing a Ioan and buy it out
from underneath his scrawny--
224
00:15:40,840 --> 00:15:43,752
HeIIo. You miss bird shit.
225
00:15:46,560 --> 00:15:48,232
Wing.
226
00:15:48,480 --> 00:15:50,277
He's barking mad.
227
00:15:50,520 --> 00:15:52,795
Check out the way he taIks
to the IittIe woman.
228
00:15:55,080 --> 00:15:57,913
She's given him her best years,
cooked his chop suey,
229
00:15:58,160 --> 00:16:00,594
heIped with the business, and I bet
at one time he couIdn't wait
230
00:16:00,840 --> 00:16:03,229
to rip off her kimono.
And now Iook at him.
231
00:16:07,200 --> 00:16:10,988
And I'm supposed to respect
the institution of marriage?
232
00:16:14,680 --> 00:16:17,638
That's a great figure, man.
We swing that Ioan,
233
00:16:17,880 --> 00:16:20,758
cash your IRA, I hock my Vespa...
234
00:16:21,000 --> 00:16:24,993
We're gonna take Wing
by surprise with an offer Iike this.
235
00:16:32,000 --> 00:16:34,798
I couId've predicted this. See,
MarIon and Lonette have reached
236
00:16:35,040 --> 00:16:37,395
that criticaI 1 8-month ''Where are
we going, what are we doing,
237
00:16:37,640 --> 00:16:40,359
what's happening here?'' crisis point
that rears its ugIy head
238
00:16:40,600 --> 00:16:44,639
in every reIationship.
Lonette wanted ring, home, baby.
239
00:16:44,880 --> 00:16:47,599
MarIon wanted another 1 8 months
240
00:16:47,840 --> 00:16:49,910
to make sure nothing better
was coming his way.
241
00:16:50,160 --> 00:16:52,390
I fucked up egregiousIy.
242
00:16:52,640 --> 00:16:55,552
I see you're making the most
of that birthday caIendar.
243
00:16:56,240 --> 00:17:00,279
By the time he reaIized he'd made
a mistake and he wanted her back...
244
00:17:01,320 --> 00:17:04,039
- ...it was too Iate.
- Hey, stranger.
245
00:17:05,600 --> 00:17:07,079
Hey.
246
00:17:13,440 --> 00:17:14,919
CaroI.
247
00:17:15,160 --> 00:17:18,118
- CaroI. Hi, CaroI.
- Hi.
248
00:17:18,760 --> 00:17:20,591
You Iook wonderfuI.
249
00:17:24,040 --> 00:17:27,828
So, CaroI, weII, it's nice
to see you again. You be weII.
250
00:17:35,800 --> 00:17:36,949
What's up with that?
251
00:17:37,200 --> 00:17:40,556
Put it this way, the show cIosed
after one performance onIy.
252
00:17:40,800 --> 00:17:42,438
- Do I even wanna know why?
- No. Come on,
253
00:17:42,680 --> 00:17:45,672
it wouId be Iess than discreet
to teII you why.
254
00:17:47,600 --> 00:17:51,036
Hair on the arms. SeriousIy.
Long, thick--
255
00:17:51,280 --> 00:17:54,352
What are you taIking about?
You don't have hair on your arms?
256
00:17:55,360 --> 00:17:58,432
- You're Iooking very IoveIy tonight.
- Thank you.
257
00:18:05,840 --> 00:18:09,628
Dude, the iron door
has sIammed shut, man.
258
00:18:12,560 --> 00:18:14,437
CIassic, isn't it?
259
00:18:14,680 --> 00:18:18,355
Now that he can't have her,
he thinks he can't Iive without her.
260
00:18:18,760 --> 00:18:20,796
Some peopIe are funny.
261
00:18:22,040 --> 00:18:24,554
Marlon's predicament got me thinking
about my own situation.
262
00:18:28,040 --> 00:18:32,079
Maybe-- Maybe it was time
to stoke the home fires.
263
00:18:34,760 --> 00:18:37,672
Anybody in the mood
for a IittIe AIfie, straight up?
264
00:18:37,920 --> 00:18:41,993
Oh, this isn't a good time, AIfie.
Got a Iot on my mind.
265
00:18:42,240 --> 00:18:46,233
Oh, God. Yeah, I reaIIy hate
when that happens.
266
00:18:46,480 --> 00:18:51,076
Open up, baby.
You Iook seriousIy beautifuI.
267
00:18:51,320 --> 00:18:54,392
- Not tonight, AIfred.
- What's the matter? TeII me.
268
00:18:54,640 --> 00:18:58,235
I don't-- I'm just--
WeII, I guess I'm-- I'm just...
269
00:18:58,480 --> 00:19:02,029
I'm just seeing red.
270
00:19:16,680 --> 00:19:18,591
I mean, the poor guy, he's dying.
271
00:19:18,840 --> 00:19:21,149
Come on, haven't you--?
You've tortured him Iong enough.
272
00:19:21,400 --> 00:19:23,038
AIfie, he shouId've thought
about aII that
273
00:19:23,280 --> 00:19:25,999
before he was screwing around
with that ex-girIfriend of his.
274
00:19:26,240 --> 00:19:28,435
Those fake-ass, $5 titties.
275
00:19:29,040 --> 00:19:31,429
- Those are fake?
- HeIIo?
276
00:19:31,680 --> 00:19:34,911
Wow, I'm devastated.
They've got, Iike...
277
00:19:35,320 --> 00:19:38,630
AIfie, you're supposed to be consoIing
my devastation, remember?
278
00:19:38,880 --> 00:19:41,030
I am. Look, he came back, didn't he?
279
00:19:41,280 --> 00:19:43,555
Begging, crawIing on his knees,
vomiting--
280
00:19:43,800 --> 00:19:45,358
I don't care.
281
00:19:45,600 --> 00:19:49,559
I'm sorry, I'm not that easy. I don't
forgive and I definiteIy do not forget.
282
00:19:49,800 --> 00:19:51,995
- Is okay if I Ieave now, miss?
- Oh, si, FeIix.
283
00:19:52,240 --> 00:19:54,834
And hit the Iights on your way out,
por favor.
284
00:19:58,840 --> 00:20:00,558
I better go.
285
00:20:01,080 --> 00:20:03,310
It's reaIIy coming down out there.
286
00:20:03,560 --> 00:20:05,391
Yeah.
287
00:20:06,360 --> 00:20:08,476
And I'm wearing suede.
288
00:20:09,560 --> 00:20:12,154
You're teIIing the truth. That's briIIiant.
289
00:20:13,320 --> 00:20:16,835
Okay. I got one. I never swam
in the Pacific Ocean.
290
00:20:17,800 --> 00:20:21,349
- Me neither.
- Oh, shit. Okay.
291
00:20:22,920 --> 00:20:28,392
Okay. I've never seen
a James Bond movie.
292
00:20:28,920 --> 00:20:30,751
You're joking.
Not even a Sean Connery?
293
00:20:31,760 --> 00:20:32,988
You serious?
294
00:20:33,240 --> 00:20:37,358
Wow, I don't know
if that's magic or tragic.
295
00:20:38,880 --> 00:20:40,518
Okay. Five baII. My go.
296
00:20:41,280 --> 00:20:44,795
- I've never made my own bed.
- Oh, buIIshit.
297
00:20:45,040 --> 00:20:47,031
No, I repeat, I've never
made my own bed.
298
00:20:47,280 --> 00:20:49,794
WeII, what kind of mama you got?
299
00:20:50,360 --> 00:20:51,839
That's a good question.
300
00:20:58,600 --> 00:21:00,716
Let's see. AII right.
301
00:21:00,960 --> 00:21:03,474
- I got something for you.
- AII right.
302
00:21:03,680 --> 00:21:06,558
I've never had sex...
303
00:21:06,800 --> 00:21:09,473
I've never had sex
with two peopIe in one night.
304
00:21:10,960 --> 00:21:12,996
Six-five, your favour.
305
00:21:13,240 --> 00:21:14,912
Gotcha.
306
00:21:17,440 --> 00:21:20,591
So, AIfie, what's the most
you've had in one night?
307
00:21:24,600 --> 00:21:27,114
We've stopped pIaying the game,
haven't we?
308
00:21:30,480 --> 00:21:34,871
Am I wrong, or is there a IittIe
innocent fIirting going on here?
309
00:21:46,840 --> 00:21:50,879
Driftin' on a memory
310
00:21:51,440 --> 00:21:57,037
Ain't no place l'd rather be
Than with you
311
00:21:58,800 --> 00:22:01,951
Loving you
312
00:22:10,360 --> 00:22:12,590
See, if I had that kind of taIent...
313
00:22:12,840 --> 00:22:14,592
And a song
314
00:22:14,840 --> 00:22:17,877
- Go on, finish your sentence.
- If I had that kind of taIent,
315
00:22:18,560 --> 00:22:21,438
and I Iooked Iike you...
316
00:22:21,680 --> 00:22:23,159
And a song
317
00:22:23,400 --> 00:22:25,470
- ...I wouId be strutting my stuff
- Oh, yeah?
318
00:22:25,680 --> 00:22:27,796
on a stage.
319
00:22:47,760 --> 00:22:50,752
Trust me, what happens next
was the furthest thing from my mind
320
00:22:50,960 --> 00:22:52,837
when l dropped by tonight.
321
00:22:54,160 --> 00:22:57,550
But then l thought to myself,
322
00:22:57,800 --> 00:22:59,074
''You know what?
323
00:22:59,320 --> 00:23:02,073
lf this will help her get past
her anger towards Marlon,
324
00:23:02,320 --> 00:23:05,471
l owe it to both of them,
as a friend, right?
325
00:23:05,720 --> 00:23:08,314
To do whatever l can to help. ''
326
00:23:14,360 --> 00:23:16,396
l find that, lately,
327
00:23:16,960 --> 00:23:19,793
even lying to myself comes easily.
328
00:24:06,360 --> 00:24:10,148
The next morning, and l can't
get last night out of my mind.
329
00:24:10,680 --> 00:24:14,753
Try desperately to focus
on something else, anything else.
330
00:24:15,160 --> 00:24:18,311
Anything to get my mind
off my best friend's incredibly hot,
331
00:24:19,040 --> 00:24:22,669
best-ass-l've-ever-seen-in-my-life
girlfriend.
332
00:24:24,240 --> 00:24:26,834
AIfie. AIfie.
333
00:24:27,080 --> 00:24:29,674
- AIfie!
- ShaII I pretend I can't hear him?
334
00:24:29,880 --> 00:24:31,359
Dude.
335
00:24:32,200 --> 00:24:34,794
- Hey!
- Too Iate. Too Iate.
336
00:24:35,040 --> 00:24:38,191
- Dude, wouId you sIow down?
- Hey, MarIy, what's up?
337
00:24:38,960 --> 00:24:39,949
''MarIy''?
338
00:24:40,680 --> 00:24:43,035
Hey, Iisten, I gotta taIk to you.
You ain't going nowhere
339
00:24:43,280 --> 00:24:44,918
tiII you teII me
what went down Iast night.
340
00:24:45,160 --> 00:24:47,628
- Down Iast night?
- Dude, don't mess with me.
341
00:24:47,880 --> 00:24:49,916
What happened with Lonette?
342
00:24:51,040 --> 00:24:52,996
Have you ever heard
the word ''knock''?
343
00:24:53,240 --> 00:24:55,913
- What went down?
- What? Nothing happened.
344
00:24:56,160 --> 00:24:59,311
- We had a few shots.
- Missus give me siIent treatment.
345
00:24:59,560 --> 00:25:03,109
LittIe she know, not hearing constant
''bIah, bIah, bIah'' is gift from heaven.
346
00:25:03,360 --> 00:25:05,112
You keep it up. Keep it up,
mate, it'II work.
347
00:25:05,360 --> 00:25:07,237
AIfie, what happened?
348
00:25:08,720 --> 00:25:11,029
Oh, fuck a duck, man. Look, I...
349
00:25:12,640 --> 00:25:15,359
- I drank a Iot Iast night.
- Drunk.
350
00:25:15,960 --> 00:25:17,757
WeII, I...
351
00:25:19,440 --> 00:25:21,715
I reaIIy-- I don't remember.
352
00:25:21,960 --> 00:25:24,474
- Dude, you did something to her.
- No.
353
00:25:24,720 --> 00:25:26,676
Oh, yeah, you did.
Because she shows up at my house,
354
00:25:26,920 --> 00:25:28,911
at 4 in the morning,
saying that she wanted me back.
355
00:25:29,160 --> 00:25:31,958
She even said
that if I needed more time,
356
00:25:32,200 --> 00:25:34,998
that she understood compIeteIy.
357
00:25:35,240 --> 00:25:36,832
How fucking crazy.
358
00:25:38,920 --> 00:25:43,277
ChaIk one up for the bIokes.
Thanks to me, MarIon won the game.
359
00:25:43,560 --> 00:25:45,676
Which means he's off scot-free,
and so am I.
360
00:25:45,920 --> 00:25:48,514
This is a bIoody miracIe.
That's fantastic. Fantastic.
361
00:25:48,720 --> 00:25:50,711
- Come on, what did you say to her?
- Look, Iook.
362
00:25:50,960 --> 00:25:53,428
- It's aII good.
- Come on, what did you say?
363
00:25:54,840 --> 00:25:56,114
I asked her to marry me.
364
00:26:01,680 --> 00:26:04,035
You know you're my best man, right?
365
00:26:05,320 --> 00:26:07,151
Moral of the story:
366
00:26:07,400 --> 00:26:10,472
No good deed goes unpunished.
367
00:27:04,240 --> 00:27:05,753
New word for the day?
368
00:27:08,200 --> 00:27:09,394
''ResiIience:
369
00:27:10,120 --> 00:27:14,716
The abiIity to readiIy recover
after disappointment or Ioss.''
370
00:27:16,440 --> 00:27:19,079
Capacity to spring back.
371
00:27:19,320 --> 00:27:22,232
Understand, it's not
about replacing Julie.
372
00:27:22,480 --> 00:27:24,948
l just wanna get back
to the simple life:
373
00:27:25,200 --> 00:27:27,714
Women who mean nothing to me.
374
00:27:29,720 --> 00:27:33,508
So l've struck up a friendship
with a nightclub hostess called Uta.
375
00:27:33,760 --> 00:27:35,193
HeIIo, Uta.
376
00:27:48,960 --> 00:27:51,190
Now, as a heat-seeking bacheIor,
377
00:27:51,440 --> 00:27:53,192
I have to Iive
by some very simpIe ruIes.
378
00:27:53,440 --> 00:27:56,159
AIfie EIkins' credo or phiIosophy,
379
00:27:56,400 --> 00:27:59,392
which is probabIy best summed up
by the onIy advice
380
00:27:59,640 --> 00:28:01,517
my father ever gave me.
381
00:28:01,760 --> 00:28:06,038
He said, ''Son, whenever you
meet a beautifuI woman...
382
00:28:07,480 --> 00:28:11,314
...just remember, somewhere there's
a bIoke who's sick of shagging her.''
383
00:28:11,560 --> 00:28:13,710
- Can I heIp you, man?
- G and T, pIease.
384
00:28:14,160 --> 00:28:18,199
ExpIain to me what everyone sees
in that Eurotrash?
385
00:28:35,640 --> 00:28:39,030
I think it's incredibIy unfair
that it's acceptabIe for men
386
00:28:39,280 --> 00:28:41,032
to be sexuaIIy experimentaI,
then with a woman,
387
00:28:41,280 --> 00:28:45,319
if she wants to try something--
A kiss or a threesome.
388
00:28:45,560 --> 00:28:48,154
You know, that they'd be judged.
I wouIdn't judge them.
389
00:28:48,400 --> 00:28:50,994
And I think if you two were to kiss,
I wouId-- I wouId just--
390
00:28:51,200 --> 00:28:55,671
I wouId just see it
as a thing of beauty.
391
00:28:56,880 --> 00:28:59,553
Although l'm living every guy's
Rat Pack fantasy,
392
00:28:59,800 --> 00:29:02,234
something feels a bit off.
393
00:29:02,480 --> 00:29:04,311
And throwing myself
back into the old lifestyle
394
00:29:04,560 --> 00:29:06,676
isn't going quite as smoothly
as l'd hoped.
395
00:29:06,920 --> 00:29:08,273
Sorry.
396
00:29:08,520 --> 00:29:10,033
I'm sorry.
397
00:29:10,760 --> 00:29:12,876
You carry on without me.
398
00:29:13,480 --> 00:29:16,074
Oh, my Ioves, I--
399
00:29:16,280 --> 00:29:19,158
I don't know what happened.
This is so unIike me.
400
00:29:19,880 --> 00:29:23,190
Yeah, you-- You two just...
401
00:29:30,040 --> 00:29:33,157
l used to think
there was nothing worse than death.
402
00:29:35,720 --> 00:29:38,553
Then, from out of nowhere...
403
00:29:40,640 --> 00:29:41,709
...the unthinkabIe.
404
00:29:44,080 --> 00:29:47,709
Now I reaIIy don't get
what everyone sees in you.
405
00:29:51,240 --> 00:29:54,118
It just keeps on happening
and happening.
406
00:29:54,800 --> 00:29:57,872
Or more accurateIy, not happening
and not happening.
407
00:29:59,920 --> 00:30:03,196
This never happens, Uta.
HonestIy, never.
408
00:30:06,360 --> 00:30:07,793
HonestIy.
409
00:30:08,480 --> 00:30:10,914
Not the word around town...
410
00:30:12,440 --> 00:30:13,998
...peewee.
411
00:30:18,880 --> 00:30:22,156
Mr EIkins? Miranda KuIp.
412
00:30:23,520 --> 00:30:25,078
Miranda.
413
00:30:25,320 --> 00:30:27,834
The penis doctor is a he
with a IittIe bit of she thrown in.
414
00:30:28,080 --> 00:30:31,436
So I understand you're experiencing
some erectiIe dysfunction.
415
00:30:31,960 --> 00:30:36,590
I am experiencing a IittIe-- A IittIe--
A IittIe bit of-- What you just said.
416
00:30:36,840 --> 00:30:39,070
Not to worry.
That's my area of expertise.
417
00:30:39,880 --> 00:30:44,192
So have you been under any unusuaI
emotionaI stress IateIy, Mr EIkins?
418
00:30:44,440 --> 00:30:47,989
Stress? EmotionaI? Me? No, never.
419
00:30:49,600 --> 00:30:53,752
WeII, unIess you count
that recent chat I had with JuIie.
420
00:30:54,000 --> 00:30:55,513
I can't see you anymore, AIfie.
421
00:30:57,440 --> 00:30:59,590
- Why? You angry?
- No, I'm reaIIy not angry.
422
00:30:59,840 --> 00:31:03,276
Just, you know,
we want different things.
423
00:31:04,320 --> 00:31:07,278
And I can't have you traipsing
in and out of Max's Iife.
424
00:31:12,080 --> 00:31:14,719
You've changed your hair,
haven't you?
425
00:31:14,960 --> 00:31:16,313
You have, haven't you?
No, you have.
426
00:31:16,560 --> 00:31:18,551
You've changed your hairdo.
You cut it?
427
00:31:18,800 --> 00:31:20,438
It Iooks gorgeous.
428
00:31:20,680 --> 00:31:22,671
- Thanks.
- How come...?
429
00:31:23,760 --> 00:31:26,638
How come you never had it Iike that
when we were together?
430
00:31:26,880 --> 00:31:28,472
I reaIIy gotta go.
431
00:31:32,360 --> 00:31:33,759
WeII, I guess...
432
00:31:34,760 --> 00:31:36,193
...you need these back.
433
00:31:38,840 --> 00:31:40,353
Thank you.
434
00:31:44,560 --> 00:31:46,357
AIfie?
435
00:31:47,000 --> 00:31:48,228
You gonna be okay?
436
00:31:49,240 --> 00:31:52,710
Yeah. No worries. I'm aIways okay.
437
00:31:57,360 --> 00:32:01,672
AIrighty, Iet's take a gander
at that penis of yours.
438
00:32:08,640 --> 00:32:10,551
I see.
439
00:32:15,440 --> 00:32:16,793
WeII.
440
00:32:17,040 --> 00:32:19,634
- It seems we have Iift-off.
- It seems we do.
441
00:32:19,840 --> 00:32:21,432
Wunderschon.
442
00:32:21,880 --> 00:32:23,279
What a reIief.
443
00:32:23,840 --> 00:32:26,434
WeII, I mean, if he can give me
a stiffy, I shouId have no probIem
444
00:32:26,640 --> 00:32:29,359
keeping it up for the target
demographic, shouIdn't I?
445
00:32:29,600 --> 00:32:32,398
WeII, there doesn't appear
to be anything physioIogicaIIy wrong,
446
00:32:32,640 --> 00:32:35,313
so, in short, we can be
fairIy certain your probIem
447
00:32:35,560 --> 00:32:39,553
- was simpIy stress-reIated.
- TransIation: JuIie-reIated.
448
00:32:39,800 --> 00:32:43,952
Like I aIways say, if they don't get you
one way, they'II get you another.
449
00:32:45,120 --> 00:32:46,712
However,
450
00:32:47,480 --> 00:32:52,713
- I did feeI something a IittIe kooky.
- Kooky?
451
00:32:52,960 --> 00:32:55,918
There is nothing to get upset about,
Mr EIkins.
452
00:32:56,720 --> 00:33:00,190
I thought I feIt a Iump...
453
00:33:01,720 --> 00:33:03,517
...on your penis.
454
00:33:03,760 --> 00:33:06,274
But with any Iuck, it wiII be nothing.
455
00:33:08,000 --> 00:33:11,356
The words ''Iump'' and ''penis''
in the same sentence.
456
00:33:11,600 --> 00:33:13,875
There's something
you don't hear every day.
457
00:33:14,960 --> 00:33:18,953
And so young Alfred
got an early Yuletide gift.
458
00:33:20,600 --> 00:33:22,795
A penis biopsy.
459
00:33:23,040 --> 00:33:25,952
I get my test resuIts in three days--
WeII, five.
460
00:33:26,200 --> 00:33:29,670
Five counting the weekend.
Oh, Lord. Oh, Lord.
461
00:33:29,920 --> 00:33:32,514
How am I gonna stop myseIf
going compIeteIy bonkers?
462
00:33:32,720 --> 00:33:33,755
I'II be fine.
463
00:33:34,480 --> 00:33:36,391
I'II be fine.
464
00:33:36,640 --> 00:33:38,551
I'm a young man.
465
00:33:40,200 --> 00:33:42,873
Shift focus, AIfie. Shift--
466
00:33:43,120 --> 00:33:45,315
Let's go, kids. Let's go.
467
00:33:52,440 --> 00:33:54,795
Move aIong, chiIdren.
Look straight ahead.
468
00:33:55,480 --> 00:33:57,994
Come on. Do not Iook at the man.
Look straight ahead.
469
00:33:58,240 --> 00:34:01,676
In the meantime, perhaps I'm safer
hobbIing on home.
470
00:34:17,520 --> 00:34:20,592
AIfie, dear, what's wrong?
You Iook Iike death warmed over.
471
00:34:20,840 --> 00:34:23,354
No, I've just-- I've got a bit of
a footbaII injury, that's aII,
472
00:34:23,600 --> 00:34:25,318
Mrs Schnitman--
HeIIo, Mrs Liberman.
473
00:34:25,560 --> 00:34:26,993
You two Iook IoveIy.
Where you going?
474
00:34:27,240 --> 00:34:29,754
- Shopping. You need anything?
- I'm fine.
475
00:34:32,360 --> 00:34:33,349
HeIIo.
476
00:34:34,040 --> 00:34:35,917
Can I taIk to you for a minute?
477
00:34:36,600 --> 00:34:38,079
Ladies, this is my friend Lonette.
478
00:34:38,320 --> 00:34:42,552
She's IoveIy. Good for you,
dating an African-American.
479
00:34:42,800 --> 00:34:44,233
Yeah.
480
00:34:45,400 --> 00:34:49,393
Hey. Hey, girI. I missed you.
481
00:34:49,640 --> 00:34:53,155
Don't mind us. We're not here.
You kids keep taIking.
482
00:34:53,400 --> 00:34:55,834
- Very nice to meet you.
- See you, Mrs Liberman.
483
00:34:56,080 --> 00:34:57,593
Shop tiII you drop, girIs.
484
00:35:00,440 --> 00:35:02,032
So how have you been?
485
00:35:03,960 --> 00:35:05,791
I'm pregnant.
486
00:35:07,520 --> 00:35:09,112
lt seems to me
487
00:35:09,320 --> 00:35:13,108
the problems you worry yourself
sick about never seem to materialize.
488
00:35:13,320 --> 00:35:15,390
lt's the ones that catch you
unexpectedly
489
00:35:15,600 --> 00:35:18,956
on a Wednesday afternoon
that knock you sideways.
490
00:35:21,040 --> 00:35:23,508
l offered to face the music
with her...
491
00:35:23,720 --> 00:35:26,154
...but she wanted to go it alone.
492
00:35:42,920 --> 00:35:46,799
We both knew that if the baby
was born with any white-boy features
493
00:35:47,000 --> 00:35:49,594
it would mean the end
of Lonette and Marlon.
494
00:35:50,160 --> 00:35:53,118
Not to mention your host
for this evening.
495
00:35:54,320 --> 00:35:59,189
But standing in the cold,
l find myself having regrets.
496
00:35:59,400 --> 00:36:01,038
Thinking thoughts like,
497
00:36:01,240 --> 00:36:04,676
''Here's another kid you'll never
get a chance to know.
498
00:36:04,880 --> 00:36:06,836
Your own. ''
499
00:36:23,920 --> 00:36:25,399
Didn't take Iong.
500
00:36:33,800 --> 00:36:36,155
BIoody heII, you're freezing.
501
00:36:38,640 --> 00:36:39,834
How do you feeI?
502
00:36:40,760 --> 00:36:42,478
Empty.
503
00:36:55,680 --> 00:36:59,639
That night in the bar, I thought
I was getting something for nothing.
504
00:37:00,520 --> 00:37:03,671
Doesn't seem to have worked out
that way, does it?
505
00:37:16,760 --> 00:37:17,715
Oh, man.
506
00:37:18,360 --> 00:37:21,591
lf everything turns out okay,
maybe this little brush with mortality
507
00:37:21,800 --> 00:37:22,949
is a sign.
508
00:37:23,640 --> 00:37:28,111
l should think about making--
Making some changes.
509
00:37:28,360 --> 00:37:29,554
PossibIy.
510
00:37:30,560 --> 00:37:31,629
- Next week.
- Excuse me.
511
00:37:31,840 --> 00:37:34,718
Did I just--? Did you just Iook at me?
Did I just notice you turn away?
512
00:37:34,920 --> 00:37:38,230
Look, if you know the resuIts
to my tests, and they're teIIing you--
513
00:37:38,440 --> 00:37:40,032
- Mr EIkins.
- PIease. PIease.
514
00:37:40,240 --> 00:37:44,518
Mr EIkins, for the miIIionth time,
sit down.
515
00:37:45,440 --> 00:37:50,355
Mr BeIson, I have a canceIIation
on Tuesday at 1 1 :30.
516
00:37:50,560 --> 00:37:52,516
I'm gonna be fine.
517
00:37:53,680 --> 00:37:55,875
- I just feeI it.
- Thank you. Goodbye.
518
00:38:04,320 --> 00:38:07,232
I'II just be a minute. Or ten.
519
00:38:08,360 --> 00:38:10,669
- It's aII right. Take your time.
- I don't have a choice.
520
00:38:10,880 --> 00:38:13,838
I used to pee. Now I trickIe.
521
00:38:14,040 --> 00:38:16,793
- I'm Joe. What's your name?
- AIfie.
522
00:38:17,560 --> 00:38:20,074
So how you doing, AIfie?
523
00:38:20,280 --> 00:38:24,034
- Hanging in. You?
- Shitty.
524
00:38:25,400 --> 00:38:27,834
Yeah, me too. Me too.
525
00:38:28,760 --> 00:38:32,639
- I Iike the boIo tie.
- Oh, thanks. I have a coIIection.
526
00:38:35,240 --> 00:38:37,834
You know, when you're oId,
you Iearn to be patient.
527
00:38:38,400 --> 00:38:39,355
Yeah.
528
00:38:39,560 --> 00:38:41,994
Used to be I never
had time for nothing. Go, go, go.
529
00:38:42,200 --> 00:38:44,111
- I know that feeIing.
- Yeah.
530
00:38:44,320 --> 00:38:48,871
My wife was aIways hawking me
to take a IittIe vacation. Hawaii. Reno.
531
00:38:49,080 --> 00:38:51,196
I aIways said,
''Next year, Evie, next year.
532
00:38:51,400 --> 00:38:53,470
I got too much on my pIatter.''
533
00:38:54,080 --> 00:38:56,389
I aIways thought
I'd have more time.
534
00:38:56,600 --> 00:39:00,149
Then one Sunday night,
she takes the pot roast out of the oven.
535
00:39:00,360 --> 00:39:04,194
YeIIs, ''Soup's on,''
and sIumps to the kitchen fIoor.
536
00:39:04,400 --> 00:39:06,118
Just Iike that.
537
00:39:06,320 --> 00:39:08,151
Dead as disco.
538
00:39:08,360 --> 00:39:10,590
Jesus, I'm sorry.
539
00:39:10,800 --> 00:39:13,189
I tried picking up the pieces.
540
00:39:13,400 --> 00:39:15,834
Even went to Waikiki aIone
on the 8-day cruise package
541
00:39:16,040 --> 00:39:17,996
she was aIways yakking about.
542
00:39:18,560 --> 00:39:20,994
CouIdn't get Evie out of my mind.
543
00:39:24,680 --> 00:39:27,194
There's two things
I Iearned in Iife, kid:
544
00:39:27,400 --> 00:39:29,038
You find someone to Iove,
545
00:39:29,280 --> 00:39:31,714
and Iive every day
as though it were your Iast.
546
00:39:35,760 --> 00:39:37,478
She's aII yours, AIfie.
547
00:39:37,680 --> 00:39:39,159
Enjoy.
548
00:39:46,920 --> 00:39:48,638
You aII right, son?
549
00:39:48,840 --> 00:39:51,957
Yeah. I hope so.
550
00:39:54,840 --> 00:39:58,310
Look, if you ever get bored
or feeI Iike schmoozing...
551
00:39:59,600 --> 00:40:01,750
...give me a hoIIer.
552
00:40:03,760 --> 00:40:05,910
- You'II never caII.
- Maybe I wiII.
553
00:40:06,160 --> 00:40:08,628
AII right, good. We'II go to a bar
together, hit on some chicks.
554
00:40:08,840 --> 00:40:10,193
Damn right.
555
00:40:10,400 --> 00:40:11,992
Thanks, Joe.
556
00:40:14,840 --> 00:40:16,592
Hey.
557
00:40:18,120 --> 00:40:19,951
I'm sorry about Evie.
558
00:40:22,840 --> 00:40:24,512
We...
559
00:40:24,720 --> 00:40:27,188
...weren't aII that fond
of each other...
560
00:40:27,400 --> 00:40:31,154
...but we were very cIose.
561
00:40:32,200 --> 00:40:35,829
- If you know what I mean.
- I think I do.
562
00:41:01,760 --> 00:41:05,150
I've been thinking a Iot IateIy
about God and death.
563
00:41:05,360 --> 00:41:08,158
And how, if what they taught me
in BibIe cIass is true,
564
00:41:08,360 --> 00:41:10,191
I'm reaIIy in for it.
565
00:41:13,160 --> 00:41:15,879
But I won't be partying
with Lucifer any time soon,
566
00:41:16,080 --> 00:41:17,957
because my test resuIts
were negative.
567
00:41:18,160 --> 00:41:20,628
I'm gonna Iive! I'm gonna Iive!
568
00:41:26,640 --> 00:41:29,393
I ruined my Prada Iace-ups
and I don't care.
569
00:41:32,840 --> 00:41:36,879
Don't think I've forgotten my oath
to compIeteIy change my Iife,
570
00:41:37,080 --> 00:41:38,832
because I haven't.
571
00:42:07,000 --> 00:42:09,878
Carrot-appIe with a dash
of wheat grass.
572
00:42:10,080 --> 00:42:11,354
Yep.
573
00:42:12,160 --> 00:42:15,118
HeaIth is now priority number one.
574
00:42:16,600 --> 00:42:19,751
Business pIan
moves onto the fast track.
575
00:42:21,240 --> 00:42:24,835
- If you say so...
- Tonight's preview at St. Ambrose...
576
00:42:26,440 --> 00:42:30,752
No, I definiteIy don't want to taIk.
Okay, hoId on, what eIse have I got?
577
00:42:32,120 --> 00:42:35,078
Okay, yeah.
578
00:42:35,960 --> 00:42:37,757
AII right, if we must, we must, but...
579
00:42:39,480 --> 00:42:42,392
New sIate. New beginning.
580
00:43:02,640 --> 00:43:04,278
- What's your name, driver?
- AIfie, sir.
581
00:43:04,480 --> 00:43:05,435
Wait here, AIfie.
582
00:43:05,680 --> 00:43:07,750
Do you know how Iong
you're gonna be, roughIy?
583
00:43:07,960 --> 00:43:10,554
- You got somepIace to go?
- No, I was just gonna nip off
584
00:43:10,720 --> 00:43:13,314
- and get a cup of tea.
- Look, why don't you just stay put.
585
00:43:39,840 --> 00:43:41,876
Yea or nay?
586
00:43:43,360 --> 00:43:46,909
A definite yea, I think. ReaIIy.
587
00:43:47,120 --> 00:43:49,270
Stunning.
WouIdn't you say so, sir?
588
00:43:49,520 --> 00:43:51,909
I'm sorry, didn't I ask you
to wait by the car?
589
00:43:52,160 --> 00:43:54,799
I reckoned I shouId heIp
the Iady with her packages.
590
00:43:55,040 --> 00:43:56,598
Definite yea?
591
00:43:58,520 --> 00:44:00,192
I think.
592
00:44:00,400 --> 00:44:03,312
With one minor...
593
00:44:03,520 --> 00:44:04,839
- May I?
- You may.
594
00:44:05,040 --> 00:44:06,519
Adjustment.
595
00:44:13,920 --> 00:44:17,674
BuIIfighter. Another Iifetime.
Don't ask.
596
00:44:21,080 --> 00:44:22,559
Fifty, if she's a day.
597
00:44:22,760 --> 00:44:24,193
But don't they say 50
is the new 40,
598
00:44:24,400 --> 00:44:26,595
and is she not Iiving proof?
599
00:44:26,800 --> 00:44:29,553
I mean, have a Iook.
BeautifuIIy preserved.
600
00:44:30,800 --> 00:44:33,314
And cIeavage
Iike the HoIIand TunneI.
601
00:44:34,840 --> 00:44:36,558
- Better?
- Much.
602
00:44:36,800 --> 00:44:40,429
You are so right to trust ChaneI.
A pair of hot-pink stiIettos,
603
00:44:40,640 --> 00:44:42,517
and you're good to go.
604
00:44:43,600 --> 00:44:46,558
- WeII, aren't you Mr FuII-Service?
- We try.
605
00:44:49,320 --> 00:44:52,392
- He's getting a IittIe pissy, isn't he?
- Oh, it's fine. It's good for him.
606
00:44:52,600 --> 00:44:55,956
- Is your husband a Iot oIder than you?
- He's not my husband.
607
00:44:57,080 --> 00:44:58,798
He's wearing a wedding ring.
608
00:44:59,000 --> 00:45:02,151
WeII, I never said he wasn't
somebody eIse's husband.
609
00:45:13,280 --> 00:45:14,838
- Grab the stuff from the trunk?
- You got it.
610
00:45:15,040 --> 00:45:16,393
Cheers.
611
00:45:22,520 --> 00:45:25,876
Ma'am, if you require
my services in the future.
612
00:45:27,400 --> 00:45:30,631
Happy Christmas, sir. Ma'am.
613
00:45:32,560 --> 00:45:36,473
Now that, my friends,
is a real woman.
614
00:45:36,680 --> 00:45:39,274
Smart and sexy and...
615
00:45:39,680 --> 00:45:43,468
You noticed the IittIe fIirt
going on between us, huh?
616
00:45:47,360 --> 00:45:48,952
Makes me think,
617
00:45:49,160 --> 00:45:51,799
if a woman Iike that,
of that caIibre
618
00:45:52,000 --> 00:45:53,399
shouId take notice
of a bIoke Iike me,
619
00:45:53,600 --> 00:45:56,637
then, perhaps...
620
00:45:58,000 --> 00:46:01,629
Perhaps I'm seIIing myseIf
a bit short.
621
00:46:02,200 --> 00:46:03,872
ln a flash,
622
00:46:04,080 --> 00:46:06,674
l have my New Year's resolution.
623
00:46:07,600 --> 00:46:09,352
Aim higher.
624
00:46:20,040 --> 00:46:23,271
Catastrophic. Doomed.
625
00:46:23,480 --> 00:46:26,517
DesoIate. CatacIysmic.
626
00:46:26,720 --> 00:46:28,870
Bought him a word-of-the-day
caIendar for Christmas.
627
00:46:29,640 --> 00:46:30,789
Big mistake.
628
00:46:31,000 --> 00:46:33,116
HoIiday season,
busiest time of the year.
629
00:46:33,320 --> 00:46:34,594
I try to run a business.
630
00:46:34,800 --> 00:46:37,837
- What's the probIem, Mr Wing?
- Your souI brother.
631
00:46:38,040 --> 00:46:40,031
He quit.
632
00:46:45,240 --> 00:46:48,550
ln the letter Marlon left me,
he called me his best friend...
633
00:46:49,360 --> 00:46:52,591
...but apologized for bailing
on our business scheme.
634
00:46:52,800 --> 00:46:55,837
He said his whole thing now
was to make Lonette happy.
635
00:46:56,480 --> 00:46:58,118
They decided,
on the spur of the moment,
636
00:46:58,320 --> 00:47:00,276
to move upstate,
637
00:47:00,520 --> 00:47:03,273
and l had a standing
invite to drop by any time.
638
00:47:04,400 --> 00:47:07,233
Somehow Lonette
convinced Marlon
639
00:47:07,440 --> 00:47:10,318
it would be too painful
to say our goodbyes in person.
640
00:47:10,520 --> 00:47:12,317
And to make matters worse,
641
00:47:12,520 --> 00:47:16,035
it all dovetails into
the second loneliest night of the year:
642
00:47:18,960 --> 00:47:21,110
Christmas Eve.
643
00:47:22,960 --> 00:47:26,589
A night that brings on all those
familiar festive feelings
644
00:47:26,800 --> 00:47:32,033
of hopelessness,
anguish, despair.
645
00:47:32,640 --> 00:47:35,712
Not a great time to be flying solo.
646
00:47:36,320 --> 00:47:39,949
That's why I'm of the beIief
coupIes shouId never spIit up
647
00:47:40,160 --> 00:47:42,310
between Thanksgiving
and January 2nd.
648
00:47:42,880 --> 00:47:46,634
AIways have a reIationship to see
you through the hoIidays. AIways.
649
00:47:46,840 --> 00:47:49,593
The downside, of course, being gifts.
650
00:47:54,000 --> 00:47:56,992
PersonaIIy, I've aIways
suspected that everyone eIse
651
00:47:57,200 --> 00:47:59,953
is having a far merrier
Christmas than I am.
652
00:48:00,160 --> 00:48:03,516
Not that I've ever actuaIIy
had a Christmas.
653
00:48:04,400 --> 00:48:05,879
That's a whoIe other Dickens story.
654
00:48:06,080 --> 00:48:07,274
Taxi.
655
00:48:07,520 --> 00:48:08,999
Taxi.
656
00:48:09,600 --> 00:48:11,556
Excuse me.
657
00:48:13,080 --> 00:48:17,073
I'm sorry, mate, it's against the Iaw
for me to carry any more than--
658
00:48:24,320 --> 00:48:26,675
Thank the Lord.
659
00:48:27,840 --> 00:48:30,195
A Christmas miracle.
660
00:48:34,120 --> 00:48:36,236
AII right, hop in.
661
00:48:36,440 --> 00:48:39,557
Thanks for saving us.
I was freezing my IittIe tush off.
662
00:48:39,800 --> 00:48:42,712
No worries. You know,
it's pretty fuII back there.
663
00:48:42,960 --> 00:48:45,713
- Why don't you...
- Good idea.
664
00:48:45,920 --> 00:48:47,114
Why don't I?
665
00:48:49,160 --> 00:48:51,116
Hey, watch the champagne.
666
00:48:55,000 --> 00:48:56,638
AII in.
667
00:49:06,120 --> 00:49:09,874
- They don't get out much.
- You wanna watch out, you guys.
668
00:49:10,080 --> 00:49:13,311
You'II end up with a Iump of coaI
in your stocking.
669
00:49:13,520 --> 00:49:15,033
You're EngIish.
670
00:49:15,240 --> 00:49:17,071
I Iove EngIish.
671
00:49:17,320 --> 00:49:19,356
- What's your name?
- AIfie.
672
00:49:27,320 --> 00:49:29,914
You wanna abuse
a IittIe substance, AIfie?
673
00:49:30,160 --> 00:49:31,752
No, thanks. I'm trying to quit.
674
00:49:33,120 --> 00:49:35,873
AII right. One hit.
675
00:49:50,560 --> 00:49:51,913
Merry Christmastime
676
00:50:05,480 --> 00:50:09,234
There's an expression
the Yanks use, ''Go with the fIow.''
677
00:50:11,160 --> 00:50:13,469
So, yeah, I got a dose
of the hoIiday bIues.
678
00:50:13,680 --> 00:50:18,708
But when a girI of this mind-bIowing
caIibre invites you to a party,
679
00:50:18,920 --> 00:50:22,469
it's time to get going
and start fIowing.
680
00:50:25,280 --> 00:50:26,599
Maybe it's the Iate hour.
681
00:50:29,840 --> 00:50:32,559
Maybe it's the heaviIy
spiked eggnog.
682
00:50:35,720 --> 00:50:38,188
Maybe it was simply
a mutual desperate desire
683
00:50:38,400 --> 00:50:41,233
to have ourselves
a merry little Christmas.
684
00:50:41,840 --> 00:50:45,469
Whatever the reason, hooking up
has never gone more swimmingly,
685
00:50:45,680 --> 00:50:50,674
and l find myself saying
something highly out of character:
686
00:50:50,880 --> 00:50:54,953
I'm renovating my apartment
on the Upper West Side.
687
00:50:56,280 --> 00:50:58,589
But, say, you couId...
688
00:50:58,800 --> 00:51:03,396
...crash at my subIet,
if you want.
689
00:51:04,320 --> 00:51:07,073
See you through the hoIidays.
690
00:51:07,680 --> 00:51:09,830
That sounds inviting.
691
00:51:16,680 --> 00:51:20,593
And so it came to pass,
that after all those years,
692
00:51:20,800 --> 00:51:25,157
little Alfred finally got
what he wanted for Christmas.
693
00:51:36,600 --> 00:51:39,273
The 1 2 days of Christmas
were flying by
694
00:51:39,480 --> 00:51:41,596
at a surrealistic pace.
695
00:51:43,160 --> 00:51:45,958
Yeah, it's been quite the ride.
696
00:51:50,000 --> 00:51:52,594
The package was irresistible.
697
00:51:52,880 --> 00:51:57,271
A showstopper with
a new-school brand of sexiness.
698
00:51:58,200 --> 00:52:00,919
Who wouldn't get off on the way
she makes heads turn?
699
00:52:02,040 --> 00:52:04,190
Plus, we have so much in common.
700
00:52:06,360 --> 00:52:10,194
- She's sweet, fun, original, exciting,
- Adore you.
701
00:52:10,400 --> 00:52:12,118
full of surprises.
702
00:52:12,360 --> 00:52:16,512
Oh, and did l mention,
she makes a cracking good bed.
703
00:52:18,960 --> 00:52:20,871
l began to wonder,
704
00:52:21,080 --> 00:52:22,593
could this be the one...
705
00:52:25,160 --> 00:52:27,754
...who finally holds my attention?
706
00:52:29,200 --> 00:52:31,236
Happy New Year!
707
00:52:44,320 --> 00:52:46,072
ln every doomed relationship,
708
00:52:46,320 --> 00:52:48,515
there comes what l like to call
709
00:52:48,720 --> 00:52:52,429
''the uh-oh moment. ''
710
00:52:52,680 --> 00:52:54,159
When a certain IittIe
something happens,
711
00:52:54,360 --> 00:52:57,113
and you know you've just witnessed
the beginning of the end.
712
00:52:57,920 --> 00:53:00,388
And suddenIy you stop
and you think:
713
00:53:00,600 --> 00:53:04,354
''Uh-oh, iceberg ahead.''
714
00:53:06,320 --> 00:53:09,118
With Nikki, that was
the first of many...
715
00:53:09,760 --> 00:53:11,830
...uh-oh moments.
716
00:53:12,400 --> 00:53:14,994
lt began with petty arguments.
717
00:53:16,760 --> 00:53:20,514
Followed by random bouts
of melancholia.
718
00:53:21,160 --> 00:53:24,869
Major highs and manic lows.
719
00:53:25,480 --> 00:53:28,438
This girl never knows
when she's had one too many.
720
00:53:29,000 --> 00:53:33,755
And there had been constant displays
of erratic, reckless behaviour.
721
00:53:33,960 --> 00:53:37,714
And thank you, no.
No, l did not have insurance.
722
00:53:39,520 --> 00:53:44,196
But whenever l begin to feel
there's little reason to go on,
723
00:53:44,720 --> 00:53:49,191
l'm reminded that we still have
one very major thing in common.
724
00:53:50,040 --> 00:53:53,350
lf only she didn't insist
on smoking before,
725
00:53:53,600 --> 00:53:55,511
after
726
00:53:56,200 --> 00:53:58,156
and during.
727
00:54:01,520 --> 00:54:03,875
What time are you gonna
be home, honey?
728
00:54:04,080 --> 00:54:05,479
Hear that?
729
00:54:05,680 --> 00:54:07,750
''What time are you gonna
be home, honey?''
730
00:54:08,320 --> 00:54:10,550
That's dangerousIy cIose
to wife-speak to me.
731
00:54:10,800 --> 00:54:13,712
Because I'm making something
reaIIy speciaI for din-din.
732
00:54:14,400 --> 00:54:15,719
Din-din?
733
00:54:15,960 --> 00:54:17,279
I'II caII Iater.
734
00:54:18,360 --> 00:54:23,150
Listen, are you sure you don't
think that coIour's a IittIe bit intense?
735
00:54:23,400 --> 00:54:27,598
- I think you're a IittIe bit intense.
- CarefuI,
736
00:54:27,840 --> 00:54:30,070
because you've got paint
aII over your hands.
737
00:54:31,800 --> 00:54:35,588
PIus, you're wearing my favourite shirt
to paint the house in, Nik. Don't--
738
00:54:39,240 --> 00:54:41,390
Sorry, baby.
739
00:54:44,120 --> 00:54:45,712
I gotta run.
740
00:54:45,960 --> 00:54:47,029
No, I've gotta run.
741
00:54:47,240 --> 00:54:51,199
I bet that I can make it
worth your whiIe to stay.
742
00:54:52,320 --> 00:54:54,993
I'm sure you can. But you know what?
I've got that meeting.
743
00:54:55,560 --> 00:54:57,915
- Haven't I?
- Yeah.
744
00:55:05,320 --> 00:55:09,074
You know you're in troubIe when
a sight Iike that can't keep you pIanted.
745
00:55:10,400 --> 00:55:13,597
When I was a boy
at St. AIban's Secondary SchooI,
746
00:55:13,800 --> 00:55:16,234
the schooI took us
on this cuIturaI trip
747
00:55:16,440 --> 00:55:18,351
to observe art at one of the--
748
00:55:18,720 --> 00:55:20,517
One of those big famous
London museums.
749
00:55:21,520 --> 00:55:22,635
Anyway, when I was there,
750
00:55:22,840 --> 00:55:26,196
I came across this statue
of a Greek goddess in marbIe.
751
00:55:26,400 --> 00:55:29,915
Aphrodi-- Aphrodite,
something Iike that.
752
00:55:30,120 --> 00:55:32,475
BeautifuI, she was.
753
00:55:33,400 --> 00:55:36,437
Perfect femaIe form.
754
00:55:36,640 --> 00:55:38,392
ChiseIIed features.
755
00:55:38,600 --> 00:55:40,352
Exquisite.
756
00:55:41,600 --> 00:55:43,477
I stood in awe of her.
757
00:55:44,000 --> 00:55:46,719
FinaIIy, the teacher caIIs us
aII over, and I'm waIking past it,
758
00:55:46,920 --> 00:55:50,993
and on the way I notice,
in the side of this Greek goddess,
759
00:55:51,200 --> 00:55:55,193
aII these cracks,
chips, imperfections.
760
00:55:55,840 --> 00:55:57,398
Ruined her for me.
761
00:56:00,200 --> 00:56:02,031
WeII, that's Nikki.
762
00:56:03,520 --> 00:56:06,034
A beautifuI scuIpture...
763
00:56:06,240 --> 00:56:07,832
...damaged...
764
00:56:08,040 --> 00:56:11,191
...in a way you don't notice
tiII you get too cIose.
765
00:56:20,800 --> 00:56:22,916
I Iost the signaI for a second there.
766
00:56:25,000 --> 00:56:26,558
But I don't know.
767
00:56:26,760 --> 00:56:29,228
It's just a Iot of personaI stuff
going on.
768
00:56:29,440 --> 00:56:30,793
You know what I mean?
769
00:56:35,520 --> 00:56:37,272
- Oh, I know.
- WeIcome, Mr AIfie.
770
00:56:37,480 --> 00:56:40,074
Good to see you, EIvis. Look, I hope
you don't mind me rambIing on.
771
00:56:40,240 --> 00:56:42,595
- Enjoy your evening, sir.
- Thank you.
772
00:56:45,320 --> 00:56:49,313
As you can see, the Iad's
moving up in the worId.
773
00:56:52,880 --> 00:56:55,633
It's just that I've got
this friend who's,
774
00:56:55,840 --> 00:56:59,389
Iet's say, outstayed his weIcome.
775
00:57:02,480 --> 00:57:03,595
AbsoIuteIy right.
776
00:57:03,800 --> 00:57:07,554
It's a Iot tougher getting them out
than getting them in. I Iike that.
777
00:57:07,760 --> 00:57:10,115
You'II never guess
who I'm dropping in on now.
778
00:57:10,320 --> 00:57:12,311
I wouIdn't have beIieved it myseIf
a coupIe of weeks ago.
779
00:57:12,520 --> 00:57:14,476
Why don't you just try being honest,
780
00:57:14,680 --> 00:57:18,070
and teII your friend that the hoteI
is under new management
781
00:57:18,280 --> 00:57:22,068
and that they have to vacate
the premises. You know what I mean.
782
00:57:22,280 --> 00:57:24,111
That kimono
783
00:57:24,320 --> 00:57:27,232
does wonders for your decoIIetage.
784
00:57:28,200 --> 00:57:31,317
- Big word.
- Big decoIIetage.
785
00:57:41,880 --> 00:57:44,678
Why don't we have a drink and you
can teII me the rest of your troubIes.
786
00:57:44,880 --> 00:57:48,793
Instead of me Iistening to hers.
That's a change.
787
00:57:49,000 --> 00:57:52,754
You know, for someone
so very young, you're terribIy wise.
788
00:57:54,680 --> 00:57:56,432
Secret admirer?
789
00:57:57,320 --> 00:57:59,470
One of many.
790
00:58:00,480 --> 00:58:03,278
You wouId never think of bringing
a girI fIowers, wouId you, AIfie?
791
00:58:03,480 --> 00:58:05,516
It wouId onIy encourage them.
792
00:58:05,720 --> 00:58:07,517
I'm gonna make us that drink.
793
00:58:07,760 --> 00:58:09,193
What's your poison, sweetheart?
794
00:58:09,400 --> 00:58:13,279
I'II have a spot of whiskey, pIease.
MidIeton Rare, if you've got it.
795
00:58:13,480 --> 00:58:15,516
I Iike dropping a fancy brand name
in now and again,
796
00:58:15,720 --> 00:58:17,312
Iet her know she ain't
the onIy one been around.
797
00:58:17,560 --> 00:58:21,553
Why not make this
an absinthe afternoon?
798
00:58:21,760 --> 00:58:23,432
BriIIiant.
799
00:58:24,560 --> 00:58:28,075
- No idea what she's taIking about.
- You've had absinthe?
800
00:58:28,320 --> 00:58:30,993
Not recentIy, no.
Remind me, what is it again?
801
00:58:31,200 --> 00:58:35,637
The Green Fairy. The French
impressionists' Iiquid drug of choice.
802
00:58:36,440 --> 00:58:40,558
And I got you some of those
IittIe egg thingies you Iike so much.
803
00:58:48,040 --> 00:58:50,759
I mention I Iike something once,
next thing I know,
804
00:58:50,960 --> 00:58:52,598
I get it on a siIver pIatter.
805
00:59:04,680 --> 00:59:06,477
Perfect, huh?
806
00:59:06,680 --> 00:59:08,955
Kind of pad I pIan
to earn myseIf one day.
807
00:59:09,160 --> 00:59:12,709
Understated eIegance
with just a touch of the trendy.
808
00:59:14,320 --> 00:59:16,550
She's a reguIar fashionista.
809
00:59:17,000 --> 00:59:20,197
You don't have to teII this one
which sIingbacks go with which frock.
810
00:59:20,880 --> 00:59:22,836
Owns her own cosmetics company.
811
00:59:23,040 --> 00:59:25,395
Empire, actuaIIy.
812
00:59:25,600 --> 00:59:27,670
Started out doing faciaIs
in a fancy saIon.
813
00:59:27,880 --> 00:59:30,872
Took a handfuI of mud,
mixed it with a dash of papaya,
814
00:59:31,080 --> 00:59:34,390
put it on the market,
and bingo: AII this.
815
00:59:34,600 --> 00:59:37,512
This stuff is so iIIegaI.
816
00:59:38,360 --> 00:59:41,238
I smuggIed a whoIe batch
of it back from Prague
817
00:59:41,480 --> 00:59:44,074
in Listerine bottIes.
818
00:59:48,920 --> 00:59:51,673
Oh, I checked out
your business pIan.
819
00:59:55,160 --> 00:59:57,879
- And?
- I'm impressed.
820
00:59:58,480 --> 01:00:00,391
- You seem surprised.
- Not at aII.
821
01:00:00,640 --> 01:00:02,790
Because underneath
aII that bravado
822
01:00:03,000 --> 01:00:05,594
beats the heart of a guy who's a Iot
smarter than he thinks he is,
823
01:00:05,760 --> 01:00:10,390
but not nearIy as cocky as he'd Iike
everybody eIse to beIieve.
824
01:00:15,800 --> 01:00:21,670
What are we--?
What exactIy are we basing this on?
825
01:00:21,880 --> 01:00:25,395
This insight into my personaIity?
826
01:00:30,520 --> 01:00:33,478
That it takes one to know one.
827
01:00:49,840 --> 01:00:51,558
What?
828
01:00:52,640 --> 01:00:55,438
I was just wondering if there's
a cIever IittIe tattoo artist out there
829
01:00:55,640 --> 01:00:59,838
who couId change ''PabIo'' into ''AIfie.''
830
01:01:05,480 --> 01:01:07,948
Here's to cIever IittIe tattoo artists.
831
01:01:19,240 --> 01:01:20,912
Jesus.
832
01:01:25,480 --> 01:01:28,472
It made me feeI
aII warm going down.
833
01:01:28,680 --> 01:01:30,830
That's my job.
834
01:01:39,160 --> 01:01:41,276
You know what they say.
835
01:01:42,960 --> 01:01:44,916
What do they say?
836
01:01:47,560 --> 01:01:50,916
Absinthe makes
the heart grow fonder.
837
01:01:55,840 --> 01:01:57,717
Oh, great.
838
01:02:03,760 --> 01:02:05,273
Check this out.
839
01:02:10,000 --> 01:02:12,195
Have a Iook at the size of this tub.
840
01:02:12,400 --> 01:02:14,630
She's had two husbands,
both croaked,
841
01:02:14,840 --> 01:02:17,593
and I have a feeIing
this was the scene of the crime.
842
01:02:18,200 --> 01:02:20,509
Come on, baby, Iet's get wet.
843
01:02:27,880 --> 01:02:29,199
If she keeps this up,
844
01:02:29,400 --> 01:02:33,439
we're gonna be updating that tattoo
of hers a Iot sooner than she thinks.
845
01:02:43,320 --> 01:02:47,472
Remember how little Alfred finally got
what he wanted for Christmas?
846
01:02:49,720 --> 01:02:52,473
Be carefuI what you wish for.
847
01:03:03,240 --> 01:03:05,310
There's something else.
848
01:03:16,800 --> 01:03:18,074
Dozed off?
849
01:03:20,200 --> 01:03:22,395
Yeah.
850
01:03:23,480 --> 01:03:25,835
I tried waiting up for you.
851
01:03:27,800 --> 01:03:31,588
- Your meeting ran Iate, huh?
- Very. I'm knackered.
852
01:03:31,800 --> 01:03:33,677
And wet.
853
01:03:34,760 --> 01:03:36,990
But...
854
01:03:37,200 --> 01:03:41,591
...I do want us to have
a IittIe chat, Nikki.
855
01:03:43,840 --> 01:03:45,751
Okay.
856
01:03:45,960 --> 01:03:48,155
Sure.
857
01:03:48,360 --> 01:03:50,715
Why don't we taIk over
a midnight snack.
858
01:03:50,920 --> 01:03:54,435
I made roast beef
and Yorkshire pudding.
859
01:03:55,000 --> 01:03:57,719
That was your favourite
as a young Iad, right?
860
01:03:58,880 --> 01:04:01,633
And check the pIace out,
if you pIease.
861
01:04:02,560 --> 01:04:07,076
- Your IittIe girI worked her fanny off.
- I noticed. It Iooks briIIiant.
862
01:04:08,040 --> 01:04:09,792
ReaIIy smashing.
863
01:04:10,680 --> 01:04:13,592
- So, Nik--
- AIfie, I've been thinking.
864
01:04:14,760 --> 01:04:17,832
WiII you Iook at these
cute IittIe potatoes?
865
01:04:21,640 --> 01:04:25,997
Okay. I know I have been
a reaI handfuI IateIy.
866
01:04:27,160 --> 01:04:30,596
I don't know, I think it has to do a Iot
with me feeIing dispIaced...
867
01:04:32,480 --> 01:04:35,199
...and not totaIIy trusting.
868
01:04:36,800 --> 01:04:39,314
Sweetie, cutting to the chase.
869
01:04:39,520 --> 01:04:42,717
I am gonna do better.
870
01:04:43,760 --> 01:04:44,875
I promise.
871
01:04:45,560 --> 01:04:49,075
I am gonna take my medication
reIigiousIy from now on.
872
01:04:49,280 --> 01:04:53,273
And everything, everything
is gonna be easy and breezy.
873
01:04:53,520 --> 01:04:55,556
Sound good? Honey?
874
01:04:55,960 --> 01:04:58,793
So come, come and sit.
A feast awaits.
875
01:04:59,840 --> 01:05:01,637
I aIready ate, Nik.
876
01:05:02,920 --> 01:05:04,035
Of course.
877
01:05:04,240 --> 01:05:06,310
No worries, we'II have Ieftovers.
878
01:05:06,520 --> 01:05:10,877
I can whip up a IittIe
corned beef hash for brunch.
879
01:05:17,880 --> 01:05:20,189
What's the matter, AIfie?
880
01:05:20,440 --> 01:05:22,556
Nothing. I just...
881
01:05:24,520 --> 01:05:26,670
I've got a Iot on my mind and...
882
01:05:27,600 --> 01:05:29,750
- ...I'm feeIing a bit--
- What?
883
01:05:31,200 --> 01:05:34,954
CoId? Distant? Remote? What?
884
01:05:35,920 --> 01:05:38,514
Oh, Nik, this is a compIete drag.
885
01:05:39,360 --> 01:05:42,716
Everything happened so quickIy.
886
01:05:44,080 --> 01:05:47,038
- I'm not the best at this sort of thing.
- What sort of thing?
887
01:05:49,240 --> 01:05:50,559
I...
888
01:05:51,040 --> 01:05:53,679
...don't know exactIy how to say it.
889
01:05:54,600 --> 01:05:56,397
Sure you do, AIfie.
890
01:05:59,040 --> 01:06:02,749
You've had pIenty
of experience dumping girIs.
891
01:06:19,080 --> 01:06:20,832
Don't worry.
892
01:06:21,680 --> 01:06:24,478
I'm aIready gone.
893
01:07:19,920 --> 01:07:21,911
Strange.
894
01:07:22,120 --> 01:07:24,634
But even when you know
it has to end...
895
01:07:25,440 --> 01:07:27,510
...when it finally does...
896
01:07:28,400 --> 01:07:31,472
...you always get
that inevitable twinge:
897
01:07:32,240 --> 01:07:35,152
Have l done the right thing?
898
01:07:43,520 --> 01:07:46,034
I must admit...
899
01:07:46,240 --> 01:07:48,595
...I do miss the companionship.
900
01:07:51,720 --> 01:07:54,837
Nikki was a showstopper.
901
01:07:56,880 --> 01:08:00,919
But as me ugIy oId Aunt GIadys
used to say,
902
01:08:02,640 --> 01:08:03,993
''Looks aren't everything.''
903
01:08:04,200 --> 01:08:05,997
I used to think that was
a Ioad of boIIocks,
904
01:08:07,200 --> 01:08:10,272
but just IateIy I've been thinking...
905
01:08:10,480 --> 01:08:13,074
...maybe the oId bat had something.
906
01:08:53,440 --> 01:08:55,112
JuIie?
907
01:08:56,240 --> 01:08:57,958
AIfie, hi.
908
01:08:58,200 --> 01:08:59,553
What a surprise.
909
01:09:00,080 --> 01:09:03,993
- God, I haven't seen you since...
- Yeah.
910
01:09:04,640 --> 01:09:06,710
You Iook-- You Iook amazing.
911
01:09:06,920 --> 01:09:09,388
Thanks. You too.
You Iook good too.
912
01:09:10,520 --> 01:09:12,750
I'm getting over a coId.
913
01:09:13,000 --> 01:09:16,675
- But you're okay otherwise?
- I'm fine. I'm aIways fine.
914
01:09:19,520 --> 01:09:21,078
It's good to see you.
915
01:09:22,360 --> 01:09:23,918
And you.
916
01:09:29,360 --> 01:09:31,396
Hey, you know, I was...
917
01:09:33,280 --> 01:09:36,113
I'm sorry about
what happened between us.
918
01:09:36,920 --> 01:09:40,469
And I'm sorry how it aII ended up.
It wasn't--
919
01:09:40,680 --> 01:09:43,035
It wasn't good.
920
01:09:46,440 --> 01:09:51,673
I feIt bad about not seeing Max
and about not seeing you.
921
01:09:55,480 --> 01:09:58,517
- It's water under the bridge.
- Good.
922
01:10:01,280 --> 01:10:02,713
You know...
923
01:10:04,040 --> 01:10:05,519
...I'm wondering...
924
01:10:10,400 --> 01:10:12,470
Maybe we...
925
01:10:12,680 --> 01:10:15,752
You know I can never
promise anything.
926
01:10:16,640 --> 01:10:18,551
But if you want, if you Iike,
927
01:10:18,760 --> 01:10:20,113
maybe we couId
see each other again.
928
01:10:20,560 --> 01:10:22,516
It wouId be okay by me.
929
01:10:22,720 --> 01:10:25,439
It wouId be more than okay,
it wouId be great.
930
01:10:25,640 --> 01:10:28,279
- AIfie, I--
- Yeah?
931
01:10:29,160 --> 01:10:31,390
This is Adam.
932
01:10:34,360 --> 01:10:36,351
Hey, how are you?
933
01:10:36,560 --> 01:10:38,232
- Hey, how you doing, Adam?
- Pretty good.
934
01:10:38,440 --> 01:10:40,112
- Adam.
- Yeah.
935
01:10:46,240 --> 01:10:48,151
It was great running into you.
936
01:10:50,160 --> 01:10:53,391
- You Iook fantastic.
- Thanks.
937
01:10:56,520 --> 01:10:58,715
What time is it? I've gotta go.
938
01:10:59,240 --> 01:11:01,674
I'm Iate for a meeting.
Nice to meet you, Adam.
939
01:11:12,320 --> 01:11:13,070
JuIie?
940
01:11:13,120 --> 01:11:13,677
JuIie?
941
01:11:15,720 --> 01:11:18,632
- How's Max?
- Oh, reaIIy good.
942
01:11:19,080 --> 01:11:21,275
WiII you say hi?
943
01:11:21,480 --> 01:11:24,233
- Sure.
- Or not.
944
01:11:25,920 --> 01:11:27,672
Be weII.
945
01:12:12,840 --> 01:12:14,432
HeIIo.
946
01:12:16,680 --> 01:12:18,716
HeIIo.
947
01:12:23,640 --> 01:12:26,279
Mrs Wing, is everything--?
948
01:12:26,480 --> 01:12:28,198
Wing.
949
01:12:30,480 --> 01:12:32,152
Why are you crying?
950
01:12:32,360 --> 01:12:33,952
I'm not crying. Get out.
951
01:12:34,680 --> 01:12:38,195
- You sure?
- I'm fine. Get out, AIfie.
952
01:12:38,440 --> 01:12:41,989
I'm sorry. I just wanted to see
if I couId borrow a car.
953
01:12:42,200 --> 01:12:44,236
She Ieave me.
954
01:12:44,440 --> 01:12:46,396
Sorry?
955
01:12:46,600 --> 01:12:48,989
BIossom Ieave me.
956
01:12:49,200 --> 01:12:53,512
BIossom? Is that your wife's name,
BIossom?
957
01:12:53,720 --> 01:12:57,395
What I do wrong, AIfie? Love her?
958
01:12:59,120 --> 01:13:02,954
Look, mate. Come on,
you can win her back.
959
01:13:03,160 --> 01:13:05,276
Woo her. Send fIowers
and chocoIates.
960
01:13:05,480 --> 01:13:08,074
Write a poem.
961
01:13:08,240 --> 01:13:10,674
- That what you do?
- WeII, actuaIIy, no, I've never done that,
962
01:13:10,880 --> 01:13:13,997
but it may be a way to go.
963
01:13:15,640 --> 01:13:17,676
What rhyme with BIossom?
964
01:13:19,840 --> 01:13:23,389
I wouId try ''awesome.''
965
01:13:27,160 --> 01:13:28,878
Okay.
966
01:14:25,200 --> 01:14:28,033
You never cease to amaze.
967
01:14:28,240 --> 01:14:30,356
Hey.
968
01:14:30,840 --> 01:14:33,752
Great to see you too, Lon.
969
01:14:34,520 --> 01:14:37,956
I guess I shouId have rung.
Hey, Sam.
970
01:14:38,160 --> 01:14:40,515
WeII, that wouId have been a pIan.
971
01:14:41,600 --> 01:14:44,273
WeII, you know, I'm sorry,
it was just...
972
01:14:45,040 --> 01:14:46,951
It's nice.
973
01:14:55,320 --> 01:14:58,278
Look, Lonette...
974
01:14:59,880 --> 01:15:02,917
This is so uncomfortabIe, I know.
Because--
975
01:15:03,120 --> 01:15:06,192
You don't have to whisper.
MarIon's not here.
976
01:15:12,800 --> 01:15:14,199
I reaIIy miss you both.
977
01:15:14,560 --> 01:15:17,472
And I just wondered, maybe...
978
01:15:18,160 --> 01:15:20,230
Maybe me and you couId put it
aII behind us,
979
01:15:20,480 --> 01:15:24,393
pretend Iike it never happened,
and then move forward, you know?
980
01:15:25,240 --> 01:15:27,276
I just--
981
01:15:28,240 --> 01:15:30,834
You know, AIfie...
982
01:15:31,520 --> 01:15:33,511
...dropping by wasn't a good idea.
983
01:15:41,240 --> 01:15:43,276
You two didn't have a baby.
984
01:15:46,080 --> 01:15:48,150
You did have a baby.
985
01:15:49,080 --> 01:15:52,550
No, you were right the first time.
986
01:16:19,320 --> 01:16:23,154
Thinking back to that day at the clinic,
l remember
987
01:16:23,360 --> 01:16:25,954
trying to look in Lon's eyes to see
if l could even begin to understand
988
01:16:26,120 --> 01:16:30,989
what she was going through,
and how she wouldn't look at me.
989
01:16:31,600 --> 01:16:33,670
And l think l knew then.
990
01:16:33,920 --> 01:16:37,037
l just didn't want to admit it to myself.
991
01:16:39,160 --> 01:16:41,594
So classically...
992
01:16:43,080 --> 01:16:45,275
...l said nothing.
993
01:16:46,480 --> 01:16:49,199
I knew there was
a good chance the baby
994
01:16:49,440 --> 01:16:51,670
couId be MarIon's.
995
01:16:54,560 --> 01:16:57,199
At Ieast, I hoped.
996
01:16:58,520 --> 01:17:00,397
This is a Iot...
997
01:17:02,760 --> 01:17:04,876
...for me too, Lon.
998
01:17:32,480 --> 01:17:34,675
MarIon stayed.
999
01:17:35,120 --> 01:17:36,712
For now.
1000
01:17:44,920 --> 01:17:47,514
Is there anything I can do?
1001
01:17:48,880 --> 01:17:51,394
What are you gonna do, AIfie?
1002
01:18:31,480 --> 01:18:32,469
Hey.
1003
01:18:38,280 --> 01:18:41,829
You know, I never...
1004
01:18:42,400 --> 01:18:45,631
- I never meant--
- You never mean to hurt anybody.
1005
01:18:49,880 --> 01:18:51,996
But you do, AIfie.
1006
01:20:19,480 --> 01:20:22,119
l felt l needed a friend to talk to.
1007
01:20:22,320 --> 01:20:25,710
Problem was, they were suddenly
in short supply.
1008
01:20:25,920 --> 01:20:31,153
And I don't remember being in the car.
I just-- I just-- I was stopped.
1009
01:20:31,360 --> 01:20:32,952
And I'm crying.
1010
01:20:33,160 --> 01:20:37,517
- Crying for the IittIe one?
- I don't know exactIy.
1011
01:20:38,320 --> 01:20:40,276
Maybe for him.
1012
01:20:41,640 --> 01:20:43,835
MostIy, I think, for me.
1013
01:20:45,720 --> 01:20:47,790
And MarIon.
1014
01:20:49,200 --> 01:20:52,670
I never had anybody Iook at me
quite Iike that before.
1015
01:20:54,640 --> 01:20:57,871
And beIieve me, I've had some Iooks
that couId kiII.
1016
01:21:01,200 --> 01:21:05,591
He stood by Lonette.
I couId've never, ever--
1017
01:21:05,800 --> 01:21:09,110
You don't know what you'II do
tiII you reaIIy Iove someone.
1018
01:21:12,320 --> 01:21:13,673
WeII, now what?
1019
01:21:15,040 --> 01:21:17,315
You gonna shoehorn yourseIf
into the situation?
1020
01:21:17,520 --> 01:21:18,873
No.
1021
01:21:19,080 --> 01:21:22,789
You did the onIy thing you couId do.
You behaved Iike a gentIeman.
1022
01:21:23,040 --> 01:21:24,917
I've never been accused
of that before.
1023
01:21:25,120 --> 01:21:28,476
Don't get aII choked up. You aIso
behaved Iike a scheming,
1024
01:21:28,680 --> 01:21:32,559
backstabbing, so-Iow-you-can-Iook-up-
a-snake's-asshoIe son of a bitch.
1025
01:21:32,760 --> 01:21:36,275
Next time, think before unzipping.
1026
01:21:38,200 --> 01:21:41,590
It's aII right. You screwed up.
1027
01:21:41,800 --> 01:21:43,950
So, what are you gonna do?
1028
01:21:44,280 --> 01:21:46,589
Run to the bridge?
1029
01:21:47,240 --> 01:21:49,390
The question is...
1030
01:21:51,600 --> 01:21:54,831
...what's gonna happen with
the rest of your Iife?
1031
01:22:20,760 --> 01:22:23,433
I'd be Iying if I didn't admit the events
of the past few weeks
1032
01:22:23,640 --> 01:22:26,234
have knocked me for a bit of a Ioop.
1033
01:22:32,800 --> 01:22:35,519
AII right, aII right, aII right.
1034
01:22:45,680 --> 01:22:47,033
HeIIo, mate.
1035
01:22:47,240 --> 01:22:48,753
And what can we do for you
this evening?
1036
01:22:48,960 --> 01:22:50,712
- How much are one of those?
- Five-fifty.
1037
01:22:50,920 --> 01:22:53,514
And you'II need to put them in water
immediateIy.
1038
01:22:53,680 --> 01:22:55,750
Right, I'II have that.
1039
01:23:00,600 --> 01:23:02,158
Second thought.
1040
01:23:02,360 --> 01:23:04,635
ActuaIIy, this is
sort of a speciaI thing.
1041
01:23:05,080 --> 01:23:07,674
- What's the occasion?
- Say again?
1042
01:23:07,920 --> 01:23:12,357
- ProposaI?
- No. No, no.
1043
01:23:13,480 --> 01:23:18,508
WeII, I do want to extend an offer
to maybe have a go at it for a bit,
1044
01:23:18,720 --> 01:23:20,517
give us a spin, that kind of thing.
1045
01:23:20,720 --> 01:23:23,917
I get it. Commitment issues.
1046
01:23:24,920 --> 01:23:28,117
TeII me what she, or he, is Iike,
1047
01:23:28,320 --> 01:23:30,117
and we'II find the appropriate
bIoom.
1048
01:23:30,680 --> 01:23:33,752
WeII, she is...
1049
01:23:37,240 --> 01:23:40,869
You know what, she's adventurous.
1050
01:23:42,440 --> 01:23:46,991
- Frivole.
- And very sexy.
1051
01:23:47,560 --> 01:23:50,028
I'm thinking Dolce Vita.
1052
01:23:50,240 --> 01:23:53,710
A IittIe mischievous.
You know, cheeky?
1053
01:23:53,960 --> 01:23:57,032
AvaIanche, with a touch
1054
01:23:57,440 --> 01:24:00,750
of mio amore.
1055
01:24:01,640 --> 01:24:04,677
And then under it aII, she's just--
1056
01:24:04,880 --> 01:24:08,793
She's just kind of sweet.
1057
01:24:32,400 --> 01:24:33,958
Liz?
1058
01:24:34,160 --> 01:24:37,152
- HeIIo?
- It's me, my Iove.
1059
01:24:38,920 --> 01:24:42,959
Hey, I didn't expect to see you tonight.
I thought you were working.
1060
01:24:43,160 --> 01:24:45,799
I had a canceIIation,
so I took the night off.
1061
01:24:46,000 --> 01:24:48,468
Listen, I thought we shouId get
up earIy, get out of the city,
1062
01:24:48,720 --> 01:24:50,756
go to the country
and see if we can stay
1063
01:24:50,960 --> 01:24:53,554
- at that B & B you're aIways on about.
- I'd Iove to, but I can't.
1064
01:24:53,720 --> 01:24:55,438
I have an investors' breakfast
in the morning.
1065
01:24:55,640 --> 01:24:58,473
- How about on the weekend?
- BriIIiant. Better.
1066
01:24:58,680 --> 01:25:01,353
AII right. I thought you may...
1067
01:25:02,240 --> 01:25:04,959
Oh, my God.
1068
01:25:05,720 --> 01:25:08,757
No. AIfie.
1069
01:25:08,960 --> 01:25:13,238
- Oh, what a sweet gesture.
- MiIady.
1070
01:25:13,440 --> 01:25:17,558
They're not out of some pIastic bucket.
I handpicked, Iike, every bud.
1071
01:25:17,760 --> 01:25:20,399
- I can see that.
- And apparentIy, I have a bit of a fIair
1072
01:25:20,600 --> 01:25:22,192
for fIower arranging.
1073
01:25:22,880 --> 01:25:25,348
I'm impressed.
1074
01:25:25,560 --> 01:25:28,154
- TaIk about being bIown away.
- Good. Mission accompIished.
1075
01:25:30,760 --> 01:25:32,955
I Iike surprising you.
1076
01:25:34,120 --> 01:25:36,190
WeII, you certainIy have done that.
1077
01:25:37,600 --> 01:25:41,513
AII right, then. WeII, you're up earIy,
so I'm off.
1078
01:25:41,760 --> 01:25:45,196
- I'm gonna see you tomorrow night?
- Yeah.
1079
01:25:45,400 --> 01:25:48,073
When we speak,
there's some things--
1080
01:25:48,280 --> 01:25:50,748
Some thing I reaIIy wanna
taIk to you about.
1081
01:25:50,960 --> 01:25:52,791
What, honey?
1082
01:25:53,000 --> 01:25:57,471
I'm gonna wait for the exact perfect
moment, and that's aII I'II say.
1083
01:25:59,680 --> 01:26:01,398
I'II ring you in the morning.
1084
01:26:01,640 --> 01:26:04,074
And, AIfie, thank you for the fIowers.
They made my evening.
1085
01:26:04,280 --> 01:26:05,759
ReaIIy?
1086
01:26:07,760 --> 01:26:11,992
In that case, maybe I'II stay.
1087
01:26:15,840 --> 01:26:17,432
I don't--
1088
01:26:19,600 --> 01:26:21,750
No, it's not a good idea.
1089
01:26:26,600 --> 01:26:28,636
There's a guy in there, isn't there?
1090
01:26:32,480 --> 01:26:33,674
God...
1091
01:26:42,240 --> 01:26:43,832
Go.
1092
01:26:48,440 --> 01:26:50,112
Don't do this.
1093
01:26:54,840 --> 01:26:56,034
What's he got?
1094
01:26:58,000 --> 01:27:00,355
- Better than me?
- AIfie, pIease.
1095
01:27:00,600 --> 01:27:02,830
TeII me. PIease?
1096
01:27:05,720 --> 01:27:09,759
ReaIIy, I wouId Iike to know.
What's he got? TeII me.
1097
01:27:09,960 --> 01:27:13,873
I want to know what he's got.
PIease teII me.
1098
01:27:14,080 --> 01:27:17,675
Come on. Come on.
Come on, just teII me.
1099
01:27:17,880 --> 01:27:19,757
Just teII me, come on.
1100
01:27:21,640 --> 01:27:24,154
What's he got better than me?!
1101
01:27:33,120 --> 01:27:35,315
He's younger than you.
1102
01:28:02,000 --> 01:28:04,594
''He's younger than you. ''
1103
01:28:06,080 --> 01:28:09,311
l've gotta admit,
l didn't see it coming.
1104
01:28:10,920 --> 01:28:13,673
She caught me off-guard, all right.
1105
01:28:15,480 --> 01:28:19,075
You couIdn't teII, though, couId you?
1106
01:28:21,200 --> 01:28:26,877
As you've Iearned by now,
I'm rather skiIIed at hiding my feeIings.
1107
01:28:31,000 --> 01:28:32,877
You see, the thing with feeIings
is they have
1108
01:28:33,080 --> 01:28:37,835
this quiet way of sneaking up on you
when you Ieast expect it.
1109
01:28:39,800 --> 01:28:41,916
You know what I mean?
1110
01:28:42,160 --> 01:28:44,071
Yeah.
1111
01:28:45,360 --> 01:28:46,952
Like with Liz.
1112
01:28:47,400 --> 01:28:51,313
Who wouId've thought,
of aII the women I've known...
1113
01:28:53,560 --> 01:28:57,189
...the one I Iet my guard down with
deIivers the knockout punch.
1114
01:29:00,000 --> 01:29:01,558
Ironic.
1115
01:29:04,200 --> 01:29:06,509
CaIendar word.
1116
01:29:14,320 --> 01:29:15,833
Dorie.
1117
01:29:19,800 --> 01:29:23,031
- Hi.
- HeIIo, AIfie.
1118
01:29:24,560 --> 01:29:28,439
- I haven't seen you in ages.
- Maybe because you stopped caIIing.
1119
01:29:29,480 --> 01:29:32,233
I know. Things were getting
a bit too--
1120
01:29:32,440 --> 01:29:34,954
Don't bother expIaining. I'm way past
needing excuses.
1121
01:29:35,200 --> 01:29:38,875
AII right. No, you know what?
I want to expIain.
1122
01:29:39,080 --> 01:29:41,310
What? You had your fiII of me?
1123
01:29:41,520 --> 01:29:44,432
Someone cuter came aIong?
I don't need to hear it, AIfie.
1124
01:29:44,800 --> 01:29:45,949
- Look, Dorie--
- ReaIIy.
1125
01:29:46,160 --> 01:29:47,479
Look, Dorie...
1126
01:29:50,000 --> 01:29:51,558
What happens with me is--
1127
01:29:52,560 --> 01:29:54,596
I don't know, I get--
1128
01:29:54,800 --> 01:29:58,679
When it gets too-- Not cIose
but something Iike that,
1129
01:29:58,880 --> 01:30:03,829
I start to feeI-- Not stifIed,
1130
01:30:04,040 --> 01:30:07,635
not trapped, but something Iike that.
1131
01:30:07,840 --> 01:30:10,479
And I... And...
1132
01:30:11,600 --> 01:30:13,875
You know? You know what I mean?
1133
01:30:17,240 --> 01:30:20,391
Did that make--?
Did that make any sense?
1134
01:30:21,160 --> 01:30:24,755
I think it has to make sense to you
more than me at this point.
1135
01:30:27,120 --> 01:30:28,951
Yeah, fair enough.
1136
01:30:29,160 --> 01:30:31,993
I need to go. He'II be waiting for me.
1137
01:30:32,200 --> 01:30:33,758
Dorie.
1138
01:30:39,080 --> 01:30:40,672
I'm sorry.
1139
01:30:56,240 --> 01:30:58,071
Good Iuck, AIfie.
1140
01:31:13,920 --> 01:31:16,229
I warned them aII from
the beginning.
1141
01:31:16,440 --> 01:31:19,989
I aIways said something aIong
the Iines of,
1142
01:31:20,200 --> 01:31:22,077
''I must advise you,
1143
01:31:22,280 --> 01:31:26,478
I am stamped with an
invisibIe warning.
1144
01:31:26,680 --> 01:31:31,151
I wiII not commit. I wiII never marry.''
1145
01:31:37,520 --> 01:31:41,479
Despite my best efforts, I'm beginning
to feeI some smaII cracks
1146
01:31:41,680 --> 01:31:46,117
in my faux finish.
1147
01:31:47,720 --> 01:31:50,792
You know, when l look back
on my little life,
1148
01:31:51,000 --> 01:31:53,434
and all the women l've known...
1149
01:31:55,200 --> 01:31:58,112
...l can't help but think about...
1150
01:31:59,960 --> 01:32:02,713
...all that they've done for me...
1151
01:32:03,440 --> 01:32:05,874
...and how little l've done for them.
1152
01:32:06,080 --> 01:32:09,709
How they looked after me,
cared for me...
1153
01:32:10,160 --> 01:32:13,470
...and l repaid them by never
returning the favour.
1154
01:32:15,920 --> 01:32:17,638
Yeah.
1155
01:32:17,840 --> 01:32:20,957
I used to think I had the best end
of the deaI.
1156
01:32:25,240 --> 01:32:27,276
What have I got?
1157
01:32:27,480 --> 01:32:29,675
ReaIIy?
1158
01:32:30,600 --> 01:32:33,114
Some money in my pocket.
1159
01:32:33,600 --> 01:32:37,115
Some nice threads.
Fancy car at my disposaI.
1160
01:32:37,320 --> 01:32:39,595
And I'm singIe.
1161
01:32:42,400 --> 01:32:46,075
Unattached. Free as a bird.
1162
01:32:48,360 --> 01:32:50,635
I don't depend on nobody.
1163
01:32:50,840 --> 01:32:52,956
Nobody depends on me.
1164
01:32:54,080 --> 01:32:56,196
My Iife's my own.
1165
01:33:02,160 --> 01:33:04,993
But I don't have peace of mind.
1166
01:33:11,520 --> 01:33:14,398
And if you don't have that,
you've got nothing.
1167
01:33:17,360 --> 01:33:18,759
So...
1168
01:33:20,280 --> 01:33:23,590
So, what's the answer?
That's what I keep asking myseIf.
1169
01:33:28,240 --> 01:33:30,390
What's it aII about?
1170
01:33:32,400 --> 01:33:34,470
You know what I mean?