1
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(HIP-HOP SONG PLAYING)
2
00:00:43,440 --> 00:00:45,396
(ALL SINGING ALONG)
3
00:00:54,080 --> 00:00:55,229
(EXPLOSION)
4
00:00:55,440 --> 00:00:56,440
(MUSIC STOPS)
5
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(INDISTINCT TALKING)
6
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That was a bomb.
7
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(PHONE LINES RINGING)
8
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(OVERLAPPING CHATTER)
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00:01:11,120 --> 00:01:14,112
KIM: No word as to whether it was
an IED or a specific car bomb.
10
00:01:15,400 --> 00:01:17,356
Over 10 fatalities reported.
11
00:01:17,440 --> 00:01:22,468
Sources within ISAF suggest
that ISI may be involved.
12
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Did these phones just go down or did
that fucker hang up on me?
13
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(GRUNTS)
14
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Good thing that X was bodgy
or I'd be flying right now!
15
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(PEOPLE CLAMORING)
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KIM: I can't hear you, honey.
17
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I need to talk to Ed Faber.
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00:01:42,440 --> 00:01:43,998
(MAN COUGHING)
19
00:01:44,080 --> 00:01:47,436
Well, then who is fronting the show?
20
00:01:47,520 --> 00:01:48,873
I can't hear you!
21
00:01:48,960 --> 00:01:50,518
Hey, that's my ass!
22
00:01:50,600 --> 00:01:52,016
- Do you have a mother?
- (SPEAKING DARI)
23
00:01:52,040 --> 00:01:53,758
Don't put your ass on my hand!
24
00:01:53,840 --> 00:01:56,115
Shut up, donkey pussy!
25
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Whore! Dog-washer!
26
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My cock in your ear!
27
00:01:59,280 --> 00:02:00,656
My cock in your ear!
I shit on your lips!
28
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Eat a fart!
29
00:02:02,360 --> 00:02:03,509
Hello!
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Fu...
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ED: Listen up. Iraq Two is happening.
32
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The network is stretched thin.
All our talent is going there.
33
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We need people, any people,
to fill the void in Afghanistan.
34
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And you folks here are all the unmarried,
35
00:02:32,440 --> 00:02:34,396
childless personnel in this bureau.
36
00:02:34,480 --> 00:02:35,959
(WOMAN SOBBING)
37
00:02:39,960 --> 00:02:42,599
For those of you who are
behind the scenes, there are
38
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opportunities to be on camera.
39
00:02:45,920 --> 00:02:48,912
Kim, are you going to be joining in?
40
00:02:49,000 --> 00:02:51,150
The travel or the crying?
41
00:02:52,120 --> 00:02:54,588
ED: Um, hopefully, the travel.
42
00:02:54,720 --> 00:02:56,312
I'll think about it.
43
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TANYA: (ON TV) The success
of Operation Mongoose
44
00:02:58,480 --> 00:03:01,153
has overshadowed
the real lesson to be learned,
45
00:03:01,240 --> 00:03:04,391
that the Taliban are far from vanquished.
46
00:03:04,520 --> 00:03:05,589
And as the drums of war
47
00:03:05,680 --> 00:03:07,272
beat ever louder in Iraq,
48
00:03:07,400 --> 00:03:11,757
the NATO mission in Afghanistan
grows increasingly uncertain.
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00:03:12,000 --> 00:03:13,558
(PANTI NG)
50
00:03:15,840 --> 00:03:18,673
Tanya Vanderpoel, outside
Lashkar Gah, Afghanistan,
51
00:03:18,760 --> 00:03:20,352
- VBC World News.
- (PHONE RINGING)
52
00:03:23,360 --> 00:03:24,395
CHRIS: (ON PHONE) Hey.
53
00:03:24,840 --> 00:03:26,751
KIM: I got you! Hey.
54
00:03:26,840 --> 00:03:29,434
Uh, when do you get back from Houston?
55
00:03:29,520 --> 00:03:31,750
CHRIS: I think on Tuesday. Why?
56
00:03:31,880 --> 00:03:35,953
Uh, because I'm going
to Afghanistan on Tuesday.
57
00:03:36,040 --> 00:03:38,952
CHRIS: You're going
to Afghanistan on Tuesday?
58
00:03:39,040 --> 00:03:40,314
Yeah.
59
00:03:40,400 --> 00:03:42,277
CHRIS: But you write news copy.
60
00:03:42,360 --> 00:03:43,793
Wait. For how long?
61
00:03:43,880 --> 00:03:46,758
- Like, three months.
- CHRIS: What?
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00:03:52,600 --> 00:03:53,749
CHRIS: Kim!
63
00:03:55,440 --> 00:03:56,555
KIM: Hey!
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00:03:58,080 --> 00:03:59,360
I can't believe this worked out!
65
00:03:59,400 --> 00:04:00,469
(KIM LAUGHS)
66
00:04:00,560 --> 00:04:01,879
Hey, you want to have a quickie
67
00:04:01,960 --> 00:04:03,480
on the changing table in the bathroom?
68
00:04:03,720 --> 00:04:05,278
Yeah, I don't think I could get it up
69
00:04:05,360 --> 00:04:06,840
with that little koala looking at me.
70
00:04:06,880 --> 00:04:08,074
(CHUCKLES)
71
00:04:08,440 --> 00:04:10,032
Also, they're boarding already.
72
00:04:10,120 --> 00:04:11,678
Hey, don't worry. Just go. Go, go, go.
73
00:04:11,760 --> 00:04:15,070
Oh, shoot,
I... I copied a key for you, so...
74
00:04:15,160 --> 00:04:16,309
Plants, mail.
75
00:04:16,400 --> 00:04:18,440
- Anything else I'm forgetting?
- I think that's it.
76
00:04:19,080 --> 00:04:20,080
This is crazy.
77
00:04:20,120 --> 00:04:21,917
Listen, I think it's impressive.
78
00:04:22,000 --> 00:04:23,296
- Starting a new career?
- (WHIMPERS)
79
00:04:23,320 --> 00:04:24,719
- It's gonna be great.
- (CHUCKLES)
80
00:04:24,800 --> 00:04:27,360
And listen, in three months...
81
00:04:27,480 --> 00:04:28,856
(MIMICKING SCHWARZENEGGER)
"I'll be back."
82
00:04:28,880 --> 00:04:30,154
No, that's terrible! No.
83
00:04:30,240 --> 00:04:32,231
Don't remember me like that. No.
84
00:04:33,520 --> 00:04:35,431
Bye. Okay. Okay.
85
00:04:38,920 --> 00:04:42,276
It's not my job. I'm a producer.
General news. Enron.
86
00:04:42,360 --> 00:04:43,839
These coalminers in Pennsylvania,
87
00:04:43,920 --> 00:04:45,353
but you probably didn't see that.
88
00:04:45,440 --> 00:04:47,078
'Cause we got two wars going on now,
89
00:04:47,160 --> 00:04:49,549
so, uh, I know how to set up a BGAN
90
00:04:49,640 --> 00:04:51,312
and no one will sue if I die
91
00:04:51,400 --> 00:04:55,234
so I got an expedited visa,
like, two days ago,
92
00:04:55,320 --> 00:04:58,153
and I guess now I'm a war reporter.
93
00:04:58,760 --> 00:05:00,079
(PASSENGERS GROANING)
94
00:05:00,160 --> 00:05:01,957
Shit dick!
95
00:05:03,360 --> 00:05:04,679
Corkscrew landing.
96
00:05:04,800 --> 00:05:07,872
(LAUGHING) In case
a missile is fired at the aircraft!
97
00:05:07,960 --> 00:05:09,712
(INDISTINCT ANNOUNCEMENT ON PA)
98
00:05:10,200 --> 00:05:13,192
Kabul International Airport.
99
00:05:13,280 --> 00:05:15,714
K.I.A.! "Killed In Action." (LAUGHS)
100
00:05:16,640 --> 00:05:19,712
PILOT: (OVER PA) Once again,
we thank you for flying with us.
101
00:05:30,360 --> 00:05:31,395
KIM: Sorry.
102
00:05:32,000 --> 00:05:33,228
Uh, sorry.
103
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Shit.
104
00:05:35,640 --> 00:05:37,358
(TAXI DRIVERS CLAMORING)
105
00:05:38,080 --> 00:05:40,275
No, thank you. No, thank you.
106
00:05:43,200 --> 00:05:44,349
MAN: Miss Baker?
107
00:05:45,200 --> 00:05:46,519
I am Fahim.
108
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Oh, Fahim, hi! Pleased to meet you.
109
00:05:50,040 --> 00:05:51,280
The car is over here and we go.
110
00:05:51,320 --> 00:05:52,320
(YELLING IN DARI)
111
00:05:52,360 --> 00:05:54,749
Cover your head, shameless whore!
112
00:05:55,120 --> 00:05:57,839
She says, uh...
"Welcome to Afghanistan."
113
00:05:58,520 --> 00:05:59,748
Okay, let's go.
114
00:05:59,840 --> 00:06:03,037
Here is your local mobile.
The number is on the back.
115
00:06:03,120 --> 00:06:04,976
Yeah, I ordered some money last week.
Still in the post.
116
00:06:05,000 --> 00:06:06,672
- I'll fix you up next week.
- Okay.
117
00:06:06,840 --> 00:06:07,955
(COUGHS)
118
00:06:08,080 --> 00:06:10,594
Yes, the air here
takes some getting used to.
119
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It's quite polluted with feces.
120
00:06:12,640 --> 00:06:14,790
NIC: Ah, here she is! How are you, Kim?
121
00:06:14,920 --> 00:06:16,751
Welcome to the Stan. My name's Nic.
122
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I'll be doing your security.
I'll take your bag.
123
00:06:18,320 --> 00:06:20,959
Fahim. The police are giving
me shit for parking here.
124
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They just want money.
125
00:06:23,360 --> 00:06:27,433
Wait, oh, no. Um, do you need money?
Because the network gave me money.
126
00:06:27,520 --> 00:06:29,801
NIC: No, keep that on you!
FAHIM: No, no, no! Kim, please!
127
00:06:30,680 --> 00:06:32,750
(INDISTINCT YELLING)
128
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Piss off, that's it! That's it! Hey! Hey!
129
00:06:38,920 --> 00:06:41,070
- I'm sorry. Sorry.
- NIC: Piss off!
130
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Remember that we are at altitude here,
131
00:06:56,280 --> 00:06:58,555
so drink plenty of water
while you acclimatize.
132
00:06:58,640 --> 00:07:00,358
Where did you learn English?
133
00:07:00,440 --> 00:07:02,795
At medical school. I was a doctor.
134
00:07:03,200 --> 00:07:05,077
NIC: Listen, rest up tonight.
135
00:07:05,160 --> 00:07:07,628
Tomorrow, I'll drive you
to the base for your embed.
136
00:07:08,640 --> 00:07:09,675
And just one bag,
137
00:07:09,760 --> 00:07:11,796
but make sure you pack
extra socks and knickers.
138
00:07:12,080 --> 00:07:14,913
That's like, um, it's like "panties," yeah?
139
00:07:15,360 --> 00:07:16,588
(CHUCKLES) Mmm-hmm.
140
00:07:18,080 --> 00:07:20,230
So, you've been embedded before, then?
141
00:07:20,360 --> 00:07:23,670
Not really. We all did
hostile-zone training in 2001.
142
00:07:23,760 --> 00:07:26,832
They taught us to
open our mouths if we get mortared...
143
00:07:27,320 --> 00:07:28,878
- That kind of stuff.
- (GRUNTS)
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NIC: Okay.
145
00:07:40,680 --> 00:07:41,874
G'day, Qadar.
146
00:07:43,920 --> 00:07:45,672
(SPEAKING DARI)
147
00:07:54,400 --> 00:07:56,994
FAHIM: The feces smell
all the way to here.
148
00:07:57,280 --> 00:07:59,271
(JAZZ MUSIC PLAYING)
149
00:08:03,760 --> 00:08:05,751
Your room, Kim, is upstairs.
150
00:08:06,880 --> 00:08:10,350
(CONVERSING IN DARI)
151
00:08:11,440 --> 00:08:12,840
NIC: Yeah, they're bloody addicted.
152
00:08:12,920 --> 00:08:15,115
That one melted a laptop
downloading porno.
153
00:08:15,200 --> 00:08:16,918
- (SCOFFS)
- Jaweed, yes,
154
00:08:17,040 --> 00:08:19,235
he likes to watch men with donkeys.
155
00:08:19,320 --> 00:08:20,833
- Hi.
- Hi.
156
00:08:20,960 --> 00:08:22,757
It's unfortunate.
157
00:08:22,880 --> 00:08:25,030
Kim, this is Tall Brian.
158
00:08:25,120 --> 00:08:26,269
Brian Hooper. Tall Brian.
159
00:08:26,360 --> 00:08:27,395
- Hi.
- I'm your shooter.
160
00:08:27,480 --> 00:08:31,359
So, is there another Brian around here
somewhere that you're taller than?
161
00:08:32,240 --> 00:08:33,992
Short Brian. Works for Reuters.
162
00:08:34,360 --> 00:08:36,555
Couldn't one of you just be "Brian"?
163
00:08:37,360 --> 00:08:39,669
Fair enough. Didn't think of that.
164
00:08:39,760 --> 00:08:41,318
Also Short Brian's dead.
165
00:08:41,800 --> 00:08:44,189
- Oh, fuck. Really?
- TALL BRIAN: Yes.
166
00:08:45,120 --> 00:08:47,953
Anyway, welcome to the Fun House.
167
00:08:52,720 --> 00:08:54,358
(WOMAN MOANING)
168
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Home sweet home.
169
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FAHIM: This is your room.
170
00:09:02,040 --> 00:09:03,519
Is there a shower?
171
00:09:20,320 --> 00:09:22,550
(DISTANT GUNFIRE)
172
00:09:32,960 --> 00:09:34,576
ANCHORMAN: (ON TV)
A nation accustomed to war
173
00:09:34,600 --> 00:09:37,478
once again seeks a return to normality.
174
00:09:38,160 --> 00:09:41,789
And nothing symbolizes that
effort more than this place,
175
00:09:42,640 --> 00:09:44,198
the Kabul Zoo.
176
00:09:44,280 --> 00:09:46,077
- No, he didn't. The zoo?
- (MAN SCOFFING)
177
00:09:46,160 --> 00:09:47,479
Go back to Wapping.
178
00:09:47,560 --> 00:09:48,879
You fucking tourist!
179
00:09:49,600 --> 00:09:52,910
Uh, shit. Sorry.
I'm trying to find the shower?
180
00:09:53,000 --> 00:09:54,319
You're the new girl.
181
00:09:54,920 --> 00:09:57,593
Oh, my God. Uh... Kim Baker.
182
00:09:57,680 --> 00:09:59,432
Just got here from New York.
183
00:09:59,560 --> 00:10:01,198
I'm Tanya. Oh, my God,
184
00:10:01,280 --> 00:10:03,635
it's so nice to have another
woman in the house!
185
00:10:03,720 --> 00:10:05,995
I love that lippy color. What is that?
186
00:10:06,080 --> 00:10:07,360
No, they're just really chapped.
187
00:10:07,440 --> 00:10:10,512
Oh, you poor thing.
Can I get you anything?
188
00:10:10,600 --> 00:10:14,593
I'm sorry, I'm freaking out
because I saw your
189
00:10:14,680 --> 00:10:17,990
special about your embed in
Korengal, and it was amazing.
190
00:10:18,120 --> 00:10:20,350
Thank you. That's so sweet.
191
00:10:20,440 --> 00:10:22,829
- Where's the shower?
- Yes. This way.
192
00:10:24,360 --> 00:10:26,476
Can I ask a favor, Kim?
193
00:10:26,600 --> 00:10:28,875
- And absolutely feel free to say no.
- Yeah, sure.
194
00:10:28,960 --> 00:10:30,154
I hate to even bring it up.
195
00:10:30,240 --> 00:10:32,595
- I feel so rude even asking this.
- No, it's fine.
196
00:10:32,720 --> 00:10:35,234
Can I fuck your security guys?
197
00:10:35,520 --> 00:10:37,351
What? Oh.
198
00:10:38,280 --> 00:10:39,952
By all means, yeah.
199
00:10:40,040 --> 00:10:41,136
Yeah? I mean, I wouldn't ask,
200
00:10:41,160 --> 00:10:43,037
it's just that for some reason,
201
00:10:43,120 --> 00:10:45,270
the VBC use an American contractor
202
00:10:45,360 --> 00:10:47,316
and, I mean, no offense,
but they're all, like,
203
00:10:47,440 --> 00:10:49,237
goatees and "fat-strong."
204
00:10:49,360 --> 00:10:51,669
You know? But the Aussies
and Kiwis are so hot.
205
00:10:51,760 --> 00:10:53,716
Right. I get it. Be my guest.
206
00:10:53,800 --> 00:10:55,520
You sure? Don't just say that to be polite.
207
00:10:55,560 --> 00:10:56,788
No, I wouldn't. I'm not.
208
00:10:56,880 --> 00:10:59,110
Even Nic? You don't want
Nic for yourself?
209
00:10:59,200 --> 00:11:00,713
(LAUGHS) Nic?
210
00:11:00,800 --> 00:11:03,360
No. I don't. No.
211
00:11:03,480 --> 00:11:05,710
That's... No, that would never happen.
So you're good.
212
00:11:05,800 --> 00:11:09,554
Hey! No, Kim, don't say that.
You could have Nic.
213
00:11:09,640 --> 00:11:12,757
In Afghanistan,
you're a serious piece of ass.
214
00:11:12,840 --> 00:11:14,398
Thank you. That's nice.
215
00:11:14,480 --> 00:11:16,056
Because you're what, I mean, you're like,
216
00:11:16,080 --> 00:11:18,992
a seven, a six or seven in New York?
217
00:11:19,160 --> 00:11:21,754
Here, you're a nine.
218
00:11:21,840 --> 00:11:23,876
Borderline ten.
219
00:11:23,960 --> 00:11:25,552
It's called "Kabul Cute."
220
00:11:27,320 --> 00:11:29,231
What are you here, like a 15?
(CHUCKLES)
221
00:11:31,000 --> 00:11:32,035
Yeah.
222
00:11:33,040 --> 00:11:34,040
Huh.
223
00:11:34,880 --> 00:11:37,348
The thing is, I have a very
serious boyfriend at home,
224
00:11:37,440 --> 00:11:38,998
so, you're good.
225
00:11:39,080 --> 00:11:40,456
All right, well, come talk
to me in two months
226
00:11:40,480 --> 00:11:43,153
when your pussy's eating your leg.
Shower's that way.
227
00:11:44,120 --> 00:11:45,120
(KIM SIGHING)
228
00:11:48,520 --> 00:11:50,192
(DOGS WHINING)
229
00:11:53,040 --> 00:11:54,359
CHRIS: How you doing?
230
00:11:54,440 --> 00:11:56,954
It's bananas here. It's, um...
231
00:11:58,160 --> 00:12:00,754
My nose is running.
There's shit in the air,
232
00:12:00,840 --> 00:12:02,193
literally. (SNIFFLES)
233
00:12:02,280 --> 00:12:03,429
And
234
00:12:04,120 --> 00:12:06,076
I don't think I can do this.
235
00:12:06,200 --> 00:12:07,633
CHRIS: Do what?
236
00:12:08,120 --> 00:12:09,120
Kim?
237
00:12:10,400 --> 00:12:11,958
I don't think I can do this.
238
00:12:12,040 --> 00:12:14,031
Can you see... I don't... Hello?
239
00:12:15,200 --> 00:12:16,235
Shit.
240
00:12:17,600 --> 00:12:18,600
(SIGHS)
241
00:12:31,240 --> 00:12:35,313
I'm sorry, Colonel,
I can't accept gifts as a journalist.
242
00:12:35,400 --> 00:12:36,594
Okay.
243
00:12:36,680 --> 00:12:38,318
So lodging, transport,
244
00:12:38,400 --> 00:12:40,914
chow and protection,
that's all you can accept?
245
00:12:41,000 --> 00:12:42,672
KIM: I'll do my best to stay objective.
246
00:12:42,760 --> 00:12:45,797
I don't care if you can do your job.
I care if my men can.
247
00:12:46,080 --> 00:12:49,117
Are you familiar with the term
"four-ten-four", Miss Baker?
248
00:12:49,240 --> 00:12:50,593
I am not, Colonel.
249
00:12:50,760 --> 00:12:53,513
It refers to women
who are fours back home
250
00:12:53,600 --> 00:12:55,477
become tens when they ship out
251
00:12:55,560 --> 00:12:58,438
and when they're back stateside,
they become fours again.
252
00:12:58,800 --> 00:12:59,994
Are you saying I'm a four?
253
00:13:00,360 --> 00:13:03,830
I'm saying you carry
an orange fucking backpack.
254
00:13:04,920 --> 00:13:08,754
I've seen people with actual experience
make bad decisions here.
255
00:13:08,840 --> 00:13:11,479
So while you're outside
the wire with my men,
256
00:13:11,560 --> 00:13:13,915
you will in no way
distract them, understood?
257
00:13:15,120 --> 00:13:17,350
Are you asking me not
to sleep with your soldiers?
258
00:13:17,440 --> 00:13:19,635
No, not "soldiers." Marines.
259
00:13:19,760 --> 00:13:20,920
You're not here to sleep with
260
00:13:21,000 --> 00:13:24,197
or perform jobs of any type
on my Marines.
261
00:13:24,280 --> 00:13:25,713
Clear copy, Miss Baker?
262
00:13:26,640 --> 00:13:28,278
- Copy that.
- Good.
263
00:13:28,680 --> 00:13:31,433
We'll get you out to a FOB
as soon as we find a ride for you.
264
00:13:31,520 --> 00:13:33,033
In the meantime, Captain Stern here
265
00:13:33,120 --> 00:13:34,760
will see to it that you get a wet hootch.
266
00:13:35,640 --> 00:13:36,640
A what?
267
00:13:37,120 --> 00:13:38,633
It's a tent with a shower.
268
00:13:40,000 --> 00:13:42,036
Unless you'd prefer a dry hootch.
269
00:13:42,120 --> 00:13:43,599
I would not, sir.
270
00:13:44,400 --> 00:13:46,391
(HELICOPTER BLADES WHIRRING)
271
00:14:17,160 --> 00:14:19,116
(INDISTINCT YELLING)
272
00:14:42,440 --> 00:14:43,998
- (PAPER FLUTTERING)
- KIM: Sorry.
273
00:14:44,920 --> 00:14:47,354
Could you just... (CLEARS THROAT)
State your name and rank?
274
00:14:47,760 --> 00:14:49,751
Gunnery Sergeant Clinton J. Hurd.
275
00:14:49,840 --> 00:14:52,400
All right. Uh... Dang it!
276
00:14:52,520 --> 00:14:56,832
So, do you believe the Afghani people
are happy about our presence here?
277
00:14:57,080 --> 00:14:58,832
No, Afghans are the people.
278
00:14:58,920 --> 00:15:02,151
(CHUCKLING) Afghanis is the currency.
279
00:15:02,280 --> 00:15:04,032
KIM: That's right. I knew that. Thank you.
280
00:15:04,120 --> 00:15:06,190
What do you believe
your mission to be here?
281
00:15:06,280 --> 00:15:07,656
Ma'am, you got a sticker on your pants.
282
00:15:07,680 --> 00:15:09,750
It's bugging the shit out of me. Ma'am...
283
00:15:10,440 --> 00:15:11,839
- (RIPPING STICKER)
- Fahim.
284
00:15:11,920 --> 00:15:13,751
What inspired you to enlist originally?
285
00:15:13,840 --> 00:15:18,595
I'm a big fan of the movie Predator
with Arnold Schwarzenegger.
286
00:15:18,680 --> 00:15:20,079
We're the same height.
287
00:15:20,760 --> 00:15:24,196
Do you think the war in Iraq
has affected your resources here?
288
00:15:24,280 --> 00:15:27,033
I'm sorry, ma'am, I'm not authorized
to answer that question.
289
00:15:28,640 --> 00:15:31,916
I'd say we're both
on the wrong side of Persia, ma'am.
290
00:15:32,000 --> 00:15:33,416
Iraq is where you get some right now.
291
00:15:33,440 --> 00:15:34,634
Here just has shit all.
292
00:15:34,720 --> 00:15:37,314
Are you guys getting
outside the wire much?
293
00:15:37,440 --> 00:15:39,476
Yes, ma'am. Most days. Uh...
294
00:15:39,560 --> 00:15:42,154
You know, we help out with
community projects and all.
295
00:15:42,240 --> 00:15:44,435
And wells. Uh...
296
00:15:44,960 --> 00:15:47,918
And sometimes at night
we shoot the big gun,
297
00:15:48,000 --> 00:15:50,036
- but, you know, it's quiet here.
- Jesus!
298
00:15:50,160 --> 00:15:52,549
We don't wear IBAs on the FOB.
299
00:15:52,640 --> 00:15:55,552
I don't even chamber a round
in my weapon anymore, because,
300
00:15:55,640 --> 00:15:59,315
you know, I figure accidental discharge
is scarier than the Taliban.
301
00:15:59,400 --> 00:16:02,915
With Iraq, do you feel like people have
forgotten about Afghanistan?
302
00:16:03,000 --> 00:16:04,638
Oh, well...
303
00:16:04,760 --> 00:16:07,558
Yes, ma'am. I'd say that
surely is the word for it.
304
00:16:09,080 --> 00:16:11,230
This here's a forgotten war.
305
00:16:11,320 --> 00:16:13,914
It's capital F, capital W.
306
00:16:14,080 --> 00:16:16,753
What's your, uh... Your name and rank?
307
00:16:17,640 --> 00:16:21,235
I'm Lance Corporal Coughlin,
India Company 3-5.
308
00:16:22,920 --> 00:16:23,920
Thank you.
309
00:16:24,800 --> 00:16:26,791
(INDISTINCT CONVERSATIONS)
310
00:16:30,760 --> 00:16:32,751
Kim. Your hair.
311
00:16:35,200 --> 00:16:36,713
- Thanks, Fahim.
- Mmm-hmm.
312
00:16:38,200 --> 00:16:39,838
You really are a fixer.
313
00:16:43,560 --> 00:16:44,560
(SIGHS)
314
00:16:44,640 --> 00:16:46,119
Moon's out.
315
00:16:47,640 --> 00:16:48,640
Hmm.
316
00:16:49,280 --> 00:16:50,429
It's beautiful.
317
00:16:52,840 --> 00:16:54,478
(INDISTINCT YELLING IN DISTANCE)
318
00:16:57,280 --> 00:16:58,320
(TALL BRIAN SPEAKING DARI)
319
00:16:58,400 --> 00:16:59,799
Suck my dick!
320
00:16:59,880 --> 00:17:01,108
(TALL BRIAN BLOWING)
321
00:17:01,200 --> 00:17:02,269
What does that mean?
322
00:17:02,400 --> 00:17:05,710
- It means, "Oh, what a terrible event!"
- Uh-huh.
323
00:17:05,840 --> 00:17:06,875
CAPT. STERN: Miss Baker.
324
00:17:06,960 --> 00:17:08,791
Colonel Hollanek
is coming to Norton tomorrow
325
00:17:08,880 --> 00:17:10,393
to check on some of our PRT work.
326
00:17:10,480 --> 00:17:12,516
And you and your crew
are clear to tag along.
327
00:17:12,640 --> 00:17:15,313
- Great, thanks.
- Rolls out at zero-six.
328
00:17:16,360 --> 00:17:18,351
- That's 6:00 a.m.
- I know that, yeah.
329
00:17:19,560 --> 00:17:21,198
- MARINE: Fire!
- (EXPLODING)
330
00:17:22,440 --> 00:17:24,856
SGT. HURD: Come on, let's go!
Get this shit together! We gotta move!
331
00:17:24,880 --> 00:17:26,598
Fucking hands out of your pockets!
332
00:17:26,680 --> 00:17:28,193
You think you're in the fucking Army?
333
00:17:28,360 --> 00:17:30,112
Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa.
334
00:17:31,600 --> 00:17:32,669
What is this?
335
00:17:32,760 --> 00:17:34,273
Uh, that's my supplies. Camera stuff.
336
00:17:34,360 --> 00:17:36,157
You fucking kidding me?
337
00:17:36,240 --> 00:17:40,199
This is an orange ruck.
No, ma'am. Not on my vehicle.
338
00:17:40,280 --> 00:17:43,716
The girl at the North Face store
said it was, like, military grade.
339
00:17:43,800 --> 00:17:46,394
Well, where are you gonna hide it?
Inside a fucking sunset?
340
00:17:46,480 --> 00:17:49,790
I mean, even the Dutch Army
don't wear orange.
341
00:17:49,880 --> 00:17:51,233
Fix it.
342
00:17:52,200 --> 00:17:54,031
How do I fix it?
343
00:17:54,160 --> 00:17:55,309
SGT. HURD: Rapono!
344
00:17:56,560 --> 00:17:58,118
(MEN YELLING INDISTINCTLY)
345
00:18:01,560 --> 00:18:03,551
(MUSIC PLAYING ON RADIO)
346
00:18:12,240 --> 00:18:13,832
Got to stay hydrated, ma'am.
347
00:18:13,920 --> 00:18:16,150
Coughlin. I didn't recognize you.
348
00:18:16,480 --> 00:18:18,789
That's 'cause I'm in warrior mode.
349
00:18:18,880 --> 00:18:20,598
It makes me taller. (LAUGHS)
350
00:18:22,280 --> 00:18:24,271
Enjoy the ride, ma'am.
351
00:18:30,080 --> 00:18:31,308
(BRAYING)
352
00:18:36,000 --> 00:18:37,797
(CHILDREN YELLING INDISTINCTLY)
353
00:18:49,120 --> 00:18:51,190
HOLLANEK: I'm dying to
know who blew up my well.
354
00:18:51,280 --> 00:18:52,599
Working on it, Colonel.
355
00:18:53,800 --> 00:18:55,711
That was a nice fucking well, Corporal.
356
00:18:55,880 --> 00:18:57,074
(MAN SPEAKING DARI)
357
00:19:00,560 --> 00:19:01,560
What'd he say?
358
00:19:02,600 --> 00:19:04,477
(CONVERSING IN DARI)
359
00:19:05,800 --> 00:19:07,552
(REPEATS DARI WORDS)
What's that mean?
360
00:19:07,640 --> 00:19:09,517
He wants to know
if you are the Russians.
361
00:19:11,120 --> 00:19:12,553
- The Russians?
- Mmm.
362
00:19:13,640 --> 00:19:15,232
- No!
- (SPEAKS DARI)
363
00:19:15,320 --> 00:19:17,754
No, sir. That was 20 years ago.
364
00:19:17,840 --> 00:19:19,193
And we're here to help.
365
00:19:21,480 --> 00:19:23,232
And I'm black.
366
00:19:24,520 --> 00:19:25,520
(SPEAKING DARI)
367
00:19:25,600 --> 00:19:28,160
The Russians are blacks now.
368
00:19:28,600 --> 00:19:29,999
(INDISTINCT YELLING)
369
00:19:31,560 --> 00:19:34,074
If we fix the well, you can't blow it up.
370
00:19:35,840 --> 00:19:38,434
Kim, I was talking
to some of the younger men.
371
00:19:38,520 --> 00:19:40,795
They say the Taliban came at night.
372
00:19:40,880 --> 00:19:43,200
I don't care. No. I drank
too much water and I have to pee.
373
00:19:43,320 --> 00:19:46,153
Stop. Stop. I am engaged to be married.
374
00:19:46,680 --> 00:19:49,433
Okay, Fahim,
I know you like your women to be, like,
375
00:19:49,520 --> 00:19:51,829
beautiful, mysterious IKEA bags, okay?
376
00:19:51,920 --> 00:19:54,992
But we urinate, Doctor.
Out of our vaginas.
377
00:19:56,520 --> 00:19:57,999
You think you urinate out the...
378
00:19:58,080 --> 00:19:59,479
No. I know it's a separate thing!
379
00:19:59,560 --> 00:20:00,754
God! Just please help me.
380
00:20:00,840 --> 00:20:02,717
FAHIM: There is nowhere for you to go.
381
00:20:02,800 --> 00:20:04,518
I cannot ask these men about this.
382
00:20:04,600 --> 00:20:06,216
And I'm not allowed to talk to the women.
383
00:20:06,240 --> 00:20:09,391
Fine. Forget it. I'll hold it.
Women are tough, right?
384
00:20:11,040 --> 00:20:12,359
(WATER GURGLING)
385
00:20:13,280 --> 00:20:14,280
(YELPS)
386
00:20:17,120 --> 00:20:18,120
(GROANS)
387
00:20:18,520 --> 00:20:19,794
Are you okay, ma'am?
388
00:20:20,120 --> 00:20:21,269
(URINATING)
389
00:20:21,520 --> 00:20:23,400
COUGHLIN:
Gosh, damn it, man. This is a new one.
390
00:20:24,040 --> 00:20:27,157
I was cursing your name at 0-stupid-30,
but I'm glad I came out today.
391
00:20:28,680 --> 00:20:31,194
Would you not have gone
on patrol today if I weren't here?
392
00:20:31,280 --> 00:20:33,316
No, I'd be back in Norton filling HESCOs.
393
00:20:33,400 --> 00:20:34,656
- (INDISTINCT MESSAGE ON RADIO)
- Copy that.
394
00:20:34,680 --> 00:20:37,717
We're still 5 mikes.
It must be one hairy dump.
395
00:20:37,800 --> 00:20:40,075
No, I'm just getting my pants on.
Damn it, Sergeant Hurd.
396
00:20:40,200 --> 00:20:41,428
Whatever.
397
00:20:41,520 --> 00:20:42,600
Sorry. Sorry. Sorry. Sorry.
398
00:20:42,680 --> 00:20:43,715
SGT. HURD: Marine!
399
00:20:43,840 --> 00:20:45,512
Make a hole, Baker.
400
00:20:51,680 --> 00:20:53,033
Move out!
401
00:21:22,720 --> 00:21:25,109
- (INDISTINCT RADIO MESSAGE)
- Why are we stopping?
402
00:21:25,200 --> 00:21:26,838
The lead vehicle bottomed out.
403
00:21:26,920 --> 00:21:29,878
SGT. HURD: Okay! Heads on a swivel!
404
00:21:30,880 --> 00:21:32,438
Didn't we come this way?
405
00:21:33,080 --> 00:21:34,877
We most surely did.
406
00:21:34,960 --> 00:21:36,518
(INDISTINCT CHATTER ON RADIO)
407
00:21:37,720 --> 00:21:38,755
(GLASS SHATTERS)
408
00:21:38,840 --> 00:21:40,956
- SGT. HURD: Contact left!
- Stay in the vehicle!
409
00:21:41,080 --> 00:21:42,593
(GUNFIRE)
410
00:21:44,280 --> 00:21:47,795
Shit! Hot! Hot bullet things!
411
00:21:50,480 --> 00:21:52,118
(MEN YELLING)
412
00:21:52,200 --> 00:21:55,033
Kim, don't get out of the car! Kim!
413
00:21:56,680 --> 00:21:58,238
- (INDISTINCT YELLING)
- (GUNFIRE)
414
00:21:59,800 --> 00:22:01,392
Whoa! (STUTTERS)
415
00:22:01,480 --> 00:22:03,914
Get down behind the engine block!
416
00:22:04,000 --> 00:22:05,797
Stay there! Stay there!
417
00:22:06,600 --> 00:22:08,556
- (WHISPERS INDISTINCTLY)
- FAHIM: Kim.
418
00:22:08,640 --> 00:22:09,959
Get back in the car!
419
00:22:20,640 --> 00:22:22,710
No, please, Kim!
420
00:22:33,480 --> 00:22:35,789
(MEN WHOOPING AND CHEERING)
421
00:22:38,000 --> 00:22:39,877
Ma'am, I asked you to stay put!
422
00:22:39,960 --> 00:22:41,439
Those assholes tried to shoot us!
423
00:22:41,720 --> 00:22:42,994
(LAUGHS)
424
00:22:43,080 --> 00:22:44,195
HOLLANEK: Jesus!
425
00:22:44,280 --> 00:22:46,316
You have got to be shitting me!
426
00:22:46,400 --> 00:22:49,597
You just shot a Javelin at a fucking car!
427
00:22:49,680 --> 00:22:52,069
That's an $80,000 piece of ordnance!
428
00:22:52,160 --> 00:22:55,232
Can any of you geniuses tell me
the Kelley Blue Book value
429
00:22:55,320 --> 00:22:58,153
of a 1989 Toyota pickup?
430
00:23:09,400 --> 00:23:12,597
Oorah, Baker. Get some.
431
00:23:17,560 --> 00:23:20,120
I hope you got all that on film, ma'am.
432
00:23:20,200 --> 00:23:22,316
'Cause that right there,
that's what we do best.
433
00:23:22,400 --> 00:23:23,833
Hearts and minds.
434
00:23:23,920 --> 00:23:26,718
That's the two best places
to shoot somebody.
435
00:23:27,080 --> 00:23:28,638
- (INDISTINCT CHATTER)
- (SIGHS)
436
00:23:30,880 --> 00:23:31,915
What?
437
00:23:32,040 --> 00:23:33,678
I told you to stay in the car.
438
00:23:33,760 --> 00:23:35,716
Okay, I'll get back in the car.
439
00:23:36,960 --> 00:23:38,760
The Marines don't have
much to say about Iraq.
440
00:23:39,600 --> 00:23:42,910
Their mantra is that
they are focused on doing the job here.
441
00:23:43,000 --> 00:23:44,991
And even though, as we saw firsthand,
442
00:23:45,080 --> 00:23:48,311
attacks against coalition forces are up,
443
00:23:48,400 --> 00:23:51,597
Corporal Coughlin told me earlier
that he is still not planning
444
00:23:51,680 --> 00:23:54,990
to lock and load his weapon
when he is out on patrol.
445
00:23:55,080 --> 00:23:57,514
Our own Kim Baker reporting for us live.
446
00:23:57,640 --> 00:23:59,631
(HIP-HOP MUSIC PLAYING)
447
00:24:01,440 --> 00:24:02,634
Welcome!
448
00:24:03,120 --> 00:24:04,314
(ALL CHEERING)
449
00:24:05,000 --> 00:24:07,753
Wow, good job, Kim! Ruthless!
450
00:24:10,280 --> 00:24:13,352
Bitch, we are going out tonight! Whoo!
451
00:24:13,440 --> 00:24:15,078
(ALL CHEERING)
452
00:24:26,520 --> 00:24:28,431
(INAUDIBLE)
453
00:24:35,120 --> 00:24:37,588
(BOY CRYING)
454
00:24:40,920 --> 00:24:42,638
It's okay. It's okay. Here.
455
00:24:46,200 --> 00:24:48,555
- It's okay. It's all right.
- (MUMBLES IN DARI)
456
00:24:53,200 --> 00:24:54,758
(INDISTINCT CONVERSATIONS)
457
00:24:58,360 --> 00:24:59,634
Why don't I know who you are?
458
00:25:01,160 --> 00:25:04,232
You're what, like, 42?
459
00:25:04,320 --> 00:25:05,320
Sold.
460
00:25:05,400 --> 00:25:06,719
Why have I never heard of you?
461
00:25:06,840 --> 00:25:10,196
Yeah, I haven't done
a lot of overseas reporting.
462
00:25:10,280 --> 00:25:13,477
I've done mostly domestic reportage.
463
00:25:14,840 --> 00:25:15,875
"Reportage"?
464
00:25:15,960 --> 00:25:18,793
(STAMMERS) Domestic reportage.
465
00:25:19,080 --> 00:25:22,197
Look, everyone in the Kabubble
is full of shit. It's okay.
466
00:25:22,280 --> 00:25:23,474
Half the accents are fake.
467
00:25:23,560 --> 00:25:27,553
The whole "I'm ex-Special Forces"
wankers are flat out lying.
468
00:25:27,880 --> 00:25:29,518
- "Reportage"?
- (LAUGHS)
469
00:25:31,720 --> 00:25:34,439
Oh, Christ, what is this?
470
00:25:34,520 --> 00:25:36,240
I really shouldn't have
my back to the door.
471
00:25:36,320 --> 00:25:37,753
It's bad tradecraft,
472
00:25:37,840 --> 00:25:40,513
but it's worth it to
talk to you two ladies.
473
00:25:42,160 --> 00:25:43,513
- Fuck off.
- Ugh.
474
00:25:43,880 --> 00:25:45,199
(CHUCKLES) You got it.
475
00:25:46,720 --> 00:25:48,756
- (SCOFFS)
- MAN: Champagne?
476
00:25:48,840 --> 00:25:50,193
Thank you.
477
00:25:50,480 --> 00:25:51,549
Finish this,
478
00:25:51,640 --> 00:25:53,915
and then we'll go meet some friends
in Wazir Akbar Khan.
479
00:25:54,000 --> 00:25:56,719
And I am warning you now,
do not sleep with lain.
480
00:25:56,800 --> 00:25:58,756
- Who is lain?
- He's a proper asshole.
481
00:25:58,880 --> 00:26:00,836
- Shall we?
- Yeah.
482
00:26:01,480 --> 00:26:02,515
Is that a cab?
483
00:26:04,880 --> 00:26:06,029
(TRAFFIC BUSTLING)
484
00:26:06,160 --> 00:26:07,309
(INDISTINCT CHATTER)
485
00:26:07,400 --> 00:26:08,992
KIM: Is your full name Shakira?
486
00:26:09,080 --> 00:26:11,469
'Cause I thought it was
a Colombian nickname.
487
00:26:11,560 --> 00:26:12,675
Why would you think that?
488
00:26:12,760 --> 00:26:13,896
- KIM: Because of the singer.
- (LAUGHS)
489
00:26:13,920 --> 00:26:18,436
No, I know. I'm kidding.
No, it's Arabic for "thankful."
490
00:26:18,520 --> 00:26:20,158
Kim is American for "white lady."
491
00:26:20,320 --> 00:26:23,710
(LAUGHS) Actually, "Kim"
means "who" in Turkish.
492
00:26:24,080 --> 00:26:25,638
"Who's that white lady?"
493
00:26:25,720 --> 00:26:27,153
- It's Kim.
- (LAUGHS)
494
00:26:27,240 --> 00:26:29,708
That's so you can remember my name.
495
00:26:29,920 --> 00:26:32,514
So... This is Iain. Iain, Kim.
496
00:26:32,640 --> 00:26:33,914
(IAIN CLEARS THROAT)
497
00:26:34,000 --> 00:26:37,390
Kim. Kim. Kim. Kim, nice work.
498
00:26:37,760 --> 00:26:40,593
You sit next to the only two women
in a country the size of Texas
499
00:26:40,680 --> 00:26:42,875
that remind a man
that you're really only okay looking.
500
00:26:44,240 --> 00:26:46,674
Well, she said you were an asshole,
501
00:26:46,760 --> 00:26:48,096
but that's really above and beyond.
502
00:26:48,120 --> 00:26:49,155
- Who said that?
- Tanya.
503
00:26:49,240 --> 00:26:50,673
IAIN: No. No. No. I don't think so.
504
00:26:50,760 --> 00:26:52,512
A lot of women find me
very charming, Kim.
505
00:26:52,600 --> 00:26:55,273
- No, not biological women.
- Oh, really?
506
00:26:55,360 --> 00:26:56,679
Women who think that an accent
507
00:26:56,760 --> 00:26:57,795
is the same thing
508
00:26:57,880 --> 00:26:59,359
- as a personality, maybe.
- Oh!
509
00:26:59,440 --> 00:27:00,896
(SPEAKING GAELIC)
Nae, haud yer wheesht.
510
00:27:00,920 --> 00:27:02,990
Go bile yer heid, ya wee bampot.
511
00:27:04,280 --> 00:27:07,397
I bet you're wetter than a submarine
with screen doors now.
512
00:27:07,480 --> 00:27:08,480
Oh! (SNICKERS)
513
00:27:08,960 --> 00:27:10,518
I got that from a pickup book.
514
00:27:10,600 --> 00:27:12,033
- Jesus.
- Oh, yeah.
515
00:27:12,120 --> 00:27:13,120
Mmm.
516
00:27:13,800 --> 00:27:14,869
So what's your deal?
517
00:27:14,960 --> 00:27:16,473
You got chucked over by some guy
518
00:27:16,600 --> 00:27:18,192
so you think, "Forget him.
519
00:27:18,280 --> 00:27:20,271
"I'm gonna go discover
the wonders of the East,
520
00:27:20,360 --> 00:27:22,669
"and I'm gonna fuck a Scottish guy
and write a book."
521
00:27:22,760 --> 00:27:24,352
I'm Scottish, by the way.
522
00:27:27,000 --> 00:27:28,000
(GROWLS)
523
00:27:28,160 --> 00:27:29,798
- (LAUGHING)
- IAIN: Cheers.
524
00:27:29,880 --> 00:27:31,313
WOMEN: Cheers.
525
00:27:33,520 --> 00:27:34,520
(CLEARS THROAT)
526
00:27:35,720 --> 00:27:37,312
- Cheers.
- TANYA: Salud.
527
00:27:37,440 --> 00:27:39,271
- Cheers.
- SHAKIRA: To Kim!
528
00:27:41,560 --> 00:27:43,152
Is this your first night out?
529
00:27:43,240 --> 00:27:44,753
Yes.
530
00:27:45,000 --> 00:27:46,558
It is, actually.
531
00:27:48,160 --> 00:27:50,913
That little bastard!
532
00:27:51,000 --> 00:27:52,000
Oh, no, Kim.
533
00:27:52,080 --> 00:27:54,640
You didn't give Egg Boy
money, did you? (CHUCKLES)
534
00:27:55,240 --> 00:27:58,755
Hey! Egg Boy! Hey!
You're a little shitbird!
535
00:27:58,840 --> 00:27:59,909
(YELLS IN DARI)
536
00:28:00,000 --> 00:28:01,672
I hope you get salmonella!
537
00:28:01,920 --> 00:28:03,478
- (YELLS IN DARI)
- Oh!
538
00:28:04,000 --> 00:28:05,592
I gave him, like, $100!
539
00:28:05,680 --> 00:28:07,113
- $100?
- What?
540
00:28:07,600 --> 00:28:10,114
I'd give you my eggs for $100.
541
00:28:11,400 --> 00:28:12,469
KIM: Where are we going?
542
00:28:12,560 --> 00:28:14,994
TANYA: A whorehouse.
You're going to love it.
543
00:28:15,120 --> 00:28:16,678
(GUNSHOTS)
544
00:28:18,600 --> 00:28:19,669
IAIN: You see that?
545
00:28:20,600 --> 00:28:22,670
SHAKIRA: It's a brothel
and a Chinese restaurant.
546
00:28:23,000 --> 00:28:24,797
(SINGING POP SONG)
547
00:28:30,520 --> 00:28:31,520
(LAUGHS)
548
00:28:36,120 --> 00:28:37,200
Do you remember this video?
549
00:28:39,200 --> 00:28:40,713
Everybody was drawings.
550
00:28:43,960 --> 00:28:46,190
Me? Oh, no, thank you.
551
00:28:46,960 --> 00:28:50,236
Look, a month ago,
I was writing a story about corn syrup.
552
00:28:50,320 --> 00:28:52,117
Okay? I was not happy.
553
00:28:52,200 --> 00:28:54,589
I didn't think there was anything else
out there for me.
554
00:28:54,680 --> 00:28:55,954
Just death.
555
00:28:56,040 --> 00:28:57,296
- Then this came along and...
- (SPEAKING MANDARIN)
556
00:28:57,320 --> 00:28:58,992
I don't care
557
00:28:59,080 --> 00:29:02,755
Wenge, do you guys have
regular access to healthcare?
558
00:29:03,040 --> 00:29:04,712
(CONTINUES SINGING)
559
00:29:06,240 --> 00:29:08,151
(SCATTERED APPLAUSE)
560
00:29:09,080 --> 00:29:10,274
(CHEERING)
561
00:29:13,840 --> 00:29:14,896
IAIN: He called me a Fenian bastard.
562
00:29:14,920 --> 00:29:18,230
I fuckin' showed him what for,
kicked his teeth in, the cunt.
563
00:29:18,320 --> 00:29:21,551
- (TANYA LAUGHS)
- Oi, Tanya? What's her story?
564
00:29:21,680 --> 00:29:25,992
She has a boyfriend.
And she's unconscious, okay?
565
00:29:26,080 --> 00:29:28,548
Not that either of those things
have ever stopped you before.
566
00:29:28,640 --> 00:29:30,517
That's not true. That's not true.
567
00:29:30,600 --> 00:29:32,636
- Firstly, I'm afraid of boyfriends.
- Mmm-hmm.
568
00:29:32,720 --> 00:29:34,756
Secondly, I'm a gentleman.
569
00:29:34,840 --> 00:29:35,875
(LAUGHS MOCKINGLY)
570
00:29:35,960 --> 00:29:39,999
What? According to no less
an authority than Grace Mugabe.
571
00:29:40,080 --> 00:29:41,593
I held a door open for her once.
572
00:29:41,680 --> 00:29:43,875
(WHISPERING) Let me just
have a little peekaboo.
573
00:29:43,960 --> 00:29:45,279
- (LAUGHS)
- Get out!
574
00:29:45,360 --> 00:29:47,157
(WHISPERS INDISTINCTLY)
Actually, not bad.
575
00:29:47,840 --> 00:29:50,354
- I think I missed one.
- TANYA: Stop! (LAUGHS)
576
00:29:51,280 --> 00:29:53,669
(SPEAKING FRENCH)
Il y a du monde au balcon. Pas mal.
577
00:29:53,760 --> 00:29:54,954
NIC: Kim?
578
00:29:55,040 --> 00:29:56,439
You all right there, mate?
579
00:29:56,520 --> 00:29:58,033
IAIN: Oh, wouldn't you like to know?
580
00:29:58,120 --> 00:29:59,792
Hey. I'm just talking about her safety.
581
00:29:59,880 --> 00:30:03,429
Nic here does security for Kim, Iain.
582
00:30:04,160 --> 00:30:05,160
(SIGHS)
583
00:30:11,120 --> 00:30:12,473
Right, well!
584
00:30:13,560 --> 00:30:15,676
- (TANYA LAUGHS)
- I'm off. Excuse me.
585
00:30:16,040 --> 00:30:17,040
- Excused.
- Good night.
586
00:30:17,120 --> 00:30:19,111
- Bye, darling!
- IAIN: Good night.
587
00:30:21,840 --> 00:30:23,876
The best, Nic!
588
00:30:25,560 --> 00:30:26,959
(LAUGHING)
589
00:30:34,080 --> 00:30:35,080
(SMACKS LIPS)
590
00:30:35,400 --> 00:30:38,392
Oh, that's Oprah.
591
00:30:41,640 --> 00:30:42,914
(CELL PHONE RINGING)
592
00:30:45,320 --> 00:30:46,320
(GASPS)
593
00:30:50,680 --> 00:30:51,680
(GROGGILY) Hello.
594
00:30:51,760 --> 00:30:54,228
It's Fahim. Are you ready to go?
595
00:30:55,080 --> 00:30:57,230
Go where, dude? It's Saturday.
596
00:30:57,360 --> 00:30:59,669
Friday is the only day off
in the Islamic week.
597
00:30:59,760 --> 00:31:01,159
We have interviews.
598
00:31:01,280 --> 00:31:03,077
No! That was not made clear.
That's... No.
599
00:31:03,160 --> 00:31:05,196
That's bullshit, Fahim. No.
600
00:31:05,280 --> 00:31:07,999
Kim, today we are meeting
Ali Massoud Sadiq.
601
00:31:08,120 --> 00:31:10,839
I sent research.
He's likely to be Attorney General.
602
00:31:11,040 --> 00:31:12,189
(MOANING)
603
00:31:14,760 --> 00:31:15,760
(COUGHS)
604
00:31:17,360 --> 00:31:19,271
- Please hold.
- Please come outside.
605
00:31:19,360 --> 00:31:22,557
This is against what I believe
as an American.
606
00:31:22,640 --> 00:31:24,631
I am sorry, but we have to go.
607
00:31:24,760 --> 00:31:26,512
Oh, my shoes. Shit.
608
00:31:26,600 --> 00:31:29,114
You wish to interview me, Mr. Ahmadzai?
609
00:31:29,640 --> 00:31:32,552
I do, Mr. Sadiq. Yes, on camera.
610
00:31:32,960 --> 00:31:34,712
Mr. Ahmadzai,
611
00:31:34,800 --> 00:31:36,791
I am a person of,
612
00:31:36,880 --> 00:31:39,110
of no consequence.
613
00:31:39,200 --> 00:31:40,474
Well, you soon might be
614
00:31:40,560 --> 00:31:42,994
the second most powerful
person in Afghanistan.
615
00:31:43,080 --> 00:31:44,274
Mr. Ahmadzai,
616
00:31:44,360 --> 00:31:47,636
I run a small department
inside the Interior Ministry.
617
00:31:47,720 --> 00:31:50,837
What possible interest
could I be to the Americans?
618
00:31:50,920 --> 00:31:54,435
Because your Ministry
for the Prevention of Vice
619
00:31:54,560 --> 00:31:56,391
and the Encouragement of Virtue
620
00:31:56,480 --> 00:32:00,598
sounds a lot like the Taliban's
old Ministry of Vice and Virtue.
621
00:32:03,280 --> 00:32:04,599
Don't you think?
622
00:32:13,480 --> 00:32:15,311
- Kim Baker.
- KIM: Mmm-hmm.
623
00:32:19,120 --> 00:32:21,634
When the Taliban was in power,
624
00:32:21,720 --> 00:32:24,359
they enforced their version of sharia.
625
00:32:24,440 --> 00:32:25,776
One of their edicts was a rule that
626
00:32:25,800 --> 00:32:28,439
all men must shave
the hair of their pubis.
627
00:32:28,560 --> 00:32:32,314
They would walk the streets
carrying a small wooden rod,
628
00:32:32,400 --> 00:32:34,072
a dowel,
629
00:32:34,160 --> 00:32:37,436
which they would roll
along the front of a man's trousers.
630
00:32:37,520 --> 00:32:41,752
If a man's pubic hair was long enough
to curl around the dowel,
631
00:32:43,280 --> 00:32:45,111
they would beat him.
632
00:32:46,280 --> 00:32:47,349
Now, I ask you,
633
00:32:48,360 --> 00:32:50,794
do I look like a man to walk the streets
634
00:32:50,880 --> 00:32:53,519
carrying a hair-of-the-pubis dowel?
635
00:32:54,720 --> 00:32:56,278
No, sir, you do not.
636
00:32:57,640 --> 00:33:01,633
I returned to this country to save it.
637
00:33:01,760 --> 00:33:03,990
I am a friend of America.
638
00:33:04,080 --> 00:33:05,616
Which is why you should
let me interview you,
639
00:33:05,640 --> 00:33:07,790
so people can understand that.
640
00:33:08,240 --> 00:33:09,240
(CHUCKLES)
641
00:33:09,600 --> 00:33:11,033
I like you, Kim.
642
00:33:11,160 --> 00:33:13,151
I like your mouthiness.
643
00:33:13,240 --> 00:33:15,120
- That is a word, yes?
- (FAHIM REPLIES IN DARI)
644
00:33:16,320 --> 00:33:18,914
It reminds me of my time
living in London.
645
00:33:19,040 --> 00:33:22,510
You make me feel
like a young man again. (CHUCKLES)
646
00:33:23,360 --> 00:33:25,351
But I do not know you.
647
00:33:26,480 --> 00:33:30,598
How can we
get to know each other, Kim?
648
00:33:33,280 --> 00:33:34,280
Hmm?
649
00:33:38,160 --> 00:33:40,310
Yes, excellent, Kim!
650
00:33:40,880 --> 00:33:42,518
(BOTH LAUGHING)
651
00:33:42,680 --> 00:33:45,114
Put a turban on her,
she'd make a very handsome boy.
652
00:33:45,360 --> 00:33:46,839
(YELLING)
653
00:33:48,000 --> 00:33:50,468
(CHEERFUL CHRISTMAS
SONG PLAYING)
654
00:34:21,720 --> 00:34:23,472
KIM: How are you? You okay there?
655
00:34:23,560 --> 00:34:25,437
(GUNFIRE)
656
00:34:25,520 --> 00:34:26,696
CHRIS: What the hell was that?
657
00:34:26,720 --> 00:34:28,836
It's probably
just a wedding somewhere nearby.
658
00:34:28,920 --> 00:34:30,797
They like to shoot off
guns at weddings here.
659
00:34:30,880 --> 00:34:32,438
You get it, you're from Florida.
660
00:34:32,560 --> 00:34:33,993
CHRIS: Funny.
661
00:34:34,080 --> 00:34:35,479
When was the last time I saw you?
662
00:34:35,560 --> 00:34:36,959
Since June?
663
00:34:37,040 --> 00:34:39,554
I'm sorry that I didn't
get back last month.
664
00:34:39,680 --> 00:34:40,680
(KIM SIGHS)
665
00:34:40,760 --> 00:34:42,591
I can be in New York by Thursday.
666
00:34:42,680 --> 00:34:45,672
I miss you and I want to see you. And I...
667
00:34:45,760 --> 00:34:47,159
I have...
668
00:34:47,240 --> 00:34:49,196
- MAN: Oh, not again.
- (KIM SIGHS)
669
00:34:52,560 --> 00:34:54,312
NIC: I hate this fucking airport.
670
00:34:54,400 --> 00:34:55,976
KIM: Can I bring you guys
anything from New York?
671
00:34:56,000 --> 00:34:57,000
(PHONE RINGING)
672
00:34:57,080 --> 00:34:59,389
- NIC: Just bring us back a six pack, eh?
- (BOTH LAUGH)
673
00:35:00,120 --> 00:35:01,951
- This is Kim.
- SADIQ: Kim Baker?
674
00:35:02,240 --> 00:35:04,071
It is Sadiq.
675
00:35:05,240 --> 00:35:07,390
Mr. Sadiq, hi.
676
00:35:07,960 --> 00:35:10,872
How about an interview
with Pacha Khan?
677
00:35:10,960 --> 00:35:12,712
Pacha Khan, the warlord?
678
00:35:12,800 --> 00:35:14,472
Pacha Khan is a businessman.
679
00:35:15,200 --> 00:35:16,394
Would you like that?
680
00:35:16,480 --> 00:35:19,870
Uh, yeah. Yeah. But I'm on my way
to New York to see my boyfriend.
681
00:35:19,960 --> 00:35:22,269
You will be the first Western journalist
682
00:35:22,360 --> 00:35:24,590
to interview him since the Soviet War.
683
00:35:26,000 --> 00:35:27,797
Shall we say tomorrow?
684
00:35:33,640 --> 00:35:36,552
Okay, yes, of course. Thank you.
685
00:35:39,000 --> 00:35:40,399
- FAHIM: What?
- Back in the car.
686
00:35:43,320 --> 00:35:44,469
FAHIM: Wait here.
687
00:35:48,960 --> 00:35:50,598
(CONVERSING IN DARI)
688
00:35:51,480 --> 00:35:52,913
It's okay, come.
689
00:36:17,880 --> 00:36:18,880
(CONVERSING IN PASHTO)
690
00:36:19,000 --> 00:36:20,479
She is a Muslim?
691
00:36:27,960 --> 00:36:29,109
Yes
692
00:36:31,080 --> 00:36:32,957
Have her pray for me.
693
00:36:42,320 --> 00:36:43,833
She is Turkish.
694
00:36:45,680 --> 00:36:48,240
You wouldn't understand her anyway.
695
00:36:51,520 --> 00:36:52,520
Hmm.
696
00:36:56,360 --> 00:36:57,713
- Okay. Yes.
- Yeah?
697
00:36:57,800 --> 00:36:58,835
TALL BRIAN: Okay.
698
00:37:02,960 --> 00:37:05,428
Pacha Khan, thank you
for your kind hospitality.
699
00:37:05,560 --> 00:37:06,560
(SPEAKING PASHTO)
700
00:37:06,640 --> 00:37:09,996
Put a turban on her and she
would make a handsome boy!
701
00:37:10,080 --> 00:37:11,080
(LAUGHING)
702
00:37:14,880 --> 00:37:16,108
(FAHIM LAUGHING WEAKLY)
703
00:37:22,400 --> 00:37:23,515
What?
704
00:37:25,080 --> 00:37:26,274
No.
705
00:37:28,280 --> 00:37:29,599
Oh, Kim. Cheers.
706
00:37:29,680 --> 00:37:30,999
Hi.
707
00:37:31,080 --> 00:37:32,115
What a rush, yeah?
708
00:37:32,200 --> 00:37:36,159
Pacha Khan, yeah.
It's like, adrenaline. Everyone was...
709
00:37:36,240 --> 00:37:37,593
Good job.
710
00:37:37,680 --> 00:37:38,999
Yeah, it went well.
711
00:37:39,080 --> 00:37:42,152
But, you know, I was... I was in the...
712
00:37:42,440 --> 00:37:44,112
The New Zealand SAS back home.
713
00:37:44,280 --> 00:37:46,714
And today felt like
jumping out of an airplane.
714
00:37:47,120 --> 00:37:50,157
- (CHUCKLES NERVOUSLY)
- Or like, you know, like having sex.
715
00:37:54,800 --> 00:37:55,949
IAIN: Kim!
716
00:37:57,480 --> 00:38:00,119
Tanya's got scotch.
It won't last long, so...
717
00:38:00,960 --> 00:38:04,157
Nic, you're welcome, too, you big cunt!
718
00:38:04,280 --> 00:38:07,511
That's a term of affection, by the way.
719
00:38:09,120 --> 00:38:13,272
TANYA: You were supposed to be
in New York, sneaky girl.
720
00:38:13,400 --> 00:38:16,437
Yeah, Chris is not super pleased.
721
00:38:16,520 --> 00:38:18,875
Chris can suck a fat one.
722
00:38:18,960 --> 00:38:19,960
(SCOFFS)
723
00:38:21,000 --> 00:38:22,797
I'm trying to see if they put my story up,
724
00:38:22,880 --> 00:38:25,235
but this Internet connection is the worst!
725
00:38:25,360 --> 00:38:27,396
- (BRAYING)
- Oh, Goddamn it, Jaweed!
726
00:38:27,480 --> 00:38:28,629
Oh, Christ!
727
00:38:29,240 --> 00:38:30,559
- Really?
- TANYA: Wow.
728
00:38:30,640 --> 00:38:31,868
Although, donkeys aside,
729
00:38:31,960 --> 00:38:33,188
- he's a good fixer.
- Mmm.
730
00:38:34,480 --> 00:38:37,836
Oh, no, thanks. Morning shows.
731
00:38:37,960 --> 00:38:40,428
You have something
they want for the mornings?
732
00:38:40,520 --> 00:38:41,839
(KIM MURMURS)
733
00:38:41,920 --> 00:38:44,798
Maybe. I don't know. Maybe.
734
00:38:45,000 --> 00:38:46,035
Hmm.
735
00:38:46,160 --> 00:38:47,798
That's what I'm trying to see.
736
00:38:49,280 --> 00:38:52,397
You know, I heard
that he has contacts in the Tribals.
737
00:38:52,480 --> 00:38:55,278
Like real Taliban contacts.
738
00:38:56,120 --> 00:38:57,439
- Jaweed?
- TANYA: Jaweed.
739
00:38:57,760 --> 00:39:00,274
KIM: No fucking way.
TANYA: Mmm, apparently.
740
00:39:00,480 --> 00:39:03,313
Would you do that?
Would you go down there?
741
00:39:07,320 --> 00:39:09,675
Yeah, sure, if it was the right call.
742
00:39:10,320 --> 00:39:12,240
Yeah, but how do you know
if it's the right call?
743
00:39:15,640 --> 00:39:17,756
Fuck, man, I don't know. (CHUCKLES)
744
00:39:17,840 --> 00:39:19,910
That is why we drink, do drugs
745
00:39:20,000 --> 00:39:22,468
and shag strangers
in restaurant bathrooms.
746
00:39:24,680 --> 00:39:26,079
(KIM GROANING)
747
00:39:40,520 --> 00:39:42,192
(LINE TRILLING)
748
00:39:44,720 --> 00:39:45,936
Kim, are you okay? What's going on?
749
00:39:45,960 --> 00:39:47,996
Oh, shoot. Oh, sorry, what time is it?
750
00:39:48,080 --> 00:39:49,672
I don't know. I'm in Seattle.
751
00:39:49,760 --> 00:39:51,856
God, I thought you got shot
at a wedding or something.
752
00:39:51,880 --> 00:39:52,915
- Jesus, Kim!
- No.
753
00:39:53,040 --> 00:39:54,951
Sorry. So, just real quick...
754
00:39:55,040 --> 00:39:56,268
I want you to come visit me.
755
00:39:56,360 --> 00:39:57,588
In Afghanistan? Really?
756
00:39:57,720 --> 00:39:58,736
I mean, I've got tons of miles.
757
00:39:58,760 --> 00:39:59,816
I could fly you first class.
758
00:39:59,840 --> 00:40:02,056
I have to look at a calendar.
I don't think I can do it this month.
759
00:40:02,080 --> 00:40:03,296
I'm here until, like, at least the 15th.
760
00:40:03,320 --> 00:40:04,440
But when I get back maybe...
761
00:40:04,520 --> 00:40:06,511
- Who is in your bed, Chris?
- What?
762
00:40:07,560 --> 00:40:09,152
(STAMMERING) No, that's my bag.
763
00:40:09,240 --> 00:40:11,390
Look in the mirror, dipshit.
764
00:40:13,320 --> 00:40:16,153
My God. You motherfucker.
Unbelievable. Unbelievable!
765
00:40:16,240 --> 00:40:17,559
You calm the fuck down!
766
00:40:17,640 --> 00:40:19,392
Listen, you haven't
been home in months.
767
00:40:19,480 --> 00:40:20,696
You forgot my fucking birthday!
768
00:40:20,720 --> 00:40:22,376
Oh, right, it's my fault.
Great, Chris. You're a genius.
769
00:40:22,400 --> 00:40:24,595
And I kept your stupid
fucking plants alive,
770
00:40:24,680 --> 00:40:27,240
but you let this relationship
wither and die!
771
00:40:28,280 --> 00:40:31,317
Ugh! Did you have that prepared?
772
00:40:31,400 --> 00:40:32,400
- What?
- Pussy!
773
00:40:32,480 --> 00:40:33,856
You know what? Have fun in Seattle.
774
00:40:33,880 --> 00:40:35,056
You should go to the
Rock 'n' Roll Museum.
775
00:40:35,080 --> 00:40:36,399
It sucks. You'll fit right in.
776
00:40:37,760 --> 00:40:38,760
(SIGHS)
777
00:40:44,000 --> 00:40:45,592
(MUSIC PLAYING FAINTLY)
778
00:40:57,120 --> 00:40:58,838
Are you shitting me?
779
00:41:03,720 --> 00:41:04,720
(SIGHS)
780
00:41:06,520 --> 00:41:07,635
Fahim.
781
00:41:07,800 --> 00:41:09,711
Let's apply for another embed.
782
00:41:10,360 --> 00:41:11,952
Because I want to get out of Kabul.
783
00:41:12,040 --> 00:41:15,271
I just need to get out of Kabul.
784
00:41:17,000 --> 00:41:19,195
I need "me time", exactly. That's...
785
00:41:19,280 --> 00:41:20,599
See? I told you that O magazine
786
00:41:20,680 --> 00:41:23,638
would increase your
understanding of women.
787
00:41:27,840 --> 00:41:29,876
(MUSIC PLAYING ON RADIO)
788
00:41:34,480 --> 00:41:36,914
KIM: Hey, you guys are 3-5, right?
789
00:41:37,040 --> 00:41:38,871
Do you know a Corporal Coughlin?
790
00:41:39,000 --> 00:41:40,000
VIDES: No, ma'am.
791
00:41:40,080 --> 00:41:42,514
Sorry, but I've only been here
for a couple months.
792
00:41:43,400 --> 00:41:46,392
Ma'am, if you set one foot
in front of the other,
793
00:41:46,480 --> 00:41:49,472
there's less chance
you lose both feet if we hit an IED.
794
00:41:53,720 --> 00:41:55,153
MAN: (ON RADIO) Vides, make ready.
795
00:41:55,320 --> 00:41:56,320
(COCKING GUN)
796
00:42:01,600 --> 00:42:03,750
Man, we are definitely losing the war
797
00:42:03,840 --> 00:42:05,990
when it comes to this particular well.
798
00:42:06,520 --> 00:42:08,351
I swear to God,
they blow up another well,
799
00:42:08,440 --> 00:42:09,696
I take another pair of boots off.
800
00:42:09,720 --> 00:42:11,836
It's like fucking musical chairs.
801
00:42:13,600 --> 00:42:15,477
Hey, do I have to buy a dress
for your wedding?
802
00:42:15,560 --> 00:42:18,791
No. Whatever you wear in Kabul is fine.
803
00:42:19,640 --> 00:42:21,631
- Yeah?
- Yes.
804
00:42:22,680 --> 00:42:26,355
The only thing I ask is that
you make sure my friend is there.
805
00:42:28,280 --> 00:42:30,350
Aw, your friend is me.
806
00:42:30,560 --> 00:42:31,560
(CHUCKLES)
807
00:42:32,040 --> 00:42:33,439
- I get it.
- (CHUCKLES)
808
00:42:50,080 --> 00:42:52,036
(WOMAN SPEAKS IN PASHTO)
809
00:43:30,080 --> 00:43:32,150
- Mount up!
- Jesus, Stern!
810
00:43:32,360 --> 00:43:35,193
General, excuse me.
Hey. General, do you have a minute?
811
00:43:35,280 --> 00:43:37,669
- Not now, Baker.
- It's just...
812
00:43:38,360 --> 00:43:40,954
The Taliban haven't been
destroying the well here.
813
00:43:41,080 --> 00:43:43,640
The women of the village
are destroying it.
814
00:43:43,720 --> 00:43:45,358
Or so they tell me.
815
00:43:48,640 --> 00:43:50,915
We dug that well several times
for the women
816
00:43:51,000 --> 00:43:52,672
so they don't have to walk to the river.
817
00:43:52,800 --> 00:43:54,518
But they want to walk to the river.
818
00:43:54,600 --> 00:43:57,160
It's their only chance to be social
819
00:43:57,240 --> 00:43:59,515
and gossip and, you know, hang out.
820
00:43:59,640 --> 00:44:02,313
I think that they have a bunch
of old Soviet landmines,
821
00:44:02,400 --> 00:44:05,551
and they just prop one up
and throw rocks at it.
822
00:44:18,640 --> 00:44:20,995
Kim, did you ever feel like
you're manning that tollgate
823
00:44:21,120 --> 00:44:23,953
and the engineer's yelling,
"I got pig iron, I got pig iron"?
824
00:44:24,880 --> 00:44:27,633
No. I don't know what that means.
But it's very folksy.
825
00:44:27,720 --> 00:44:29,915
Also, the women, obviously,
they don't want the men
826
00:44:30,000 --> 00:44:31,558
to know about this, so they are hoping
827
00:44:31,640 --> 00:44:34,234
that you would just refuse
to repair the well this time.
828
00:44:34,320 --> 00:44:35,320
Well, they're in luck.
829
00:44:35,440 --> 00:44:37,795
That's exactly what
I told the mullah, so...
830
00:44:40,480 --> 00:44:41,993
Well done, Baker.
831
00:44:42,960 --> 00:44:44,279
Hooyah, General.
832
00:44:45,600 --> 00:44:47,909
Marines say "Oorah."
833
00:44:48,000 --> 00:44:50,195
The Navy says "Hooyah."
834
00:44:50,280 --> 00:44:52,271
- Don't mix those two up.
- Got it.
835
00:44:53,360 --> 00:44:55,078
Have a good... Have a good ride.
836
00:44:55,920 --> 00:44:57,876
(MAN YELLS INDISTINCTLY)
837
00:45:18,800 --> 00:45:19,835
Kim.
838
00:45:22,800 --> 00:45:23,800
Kim.
839
00:45:28,200 --> 00:45:29,200
Sorry.
840
00:45:37,160 --> 00:45:38,160
(INDISTINCT CHATTER)
841
00:45:38,320 --> 00:45:39,320
(MUSIC PLAYING)
842
00:45:42,600 --> 00:45:44,670
- You look beautiful!
- You look beautiful!
843
00:45:44,760 --> 00:45:45,760
Oh, my God.
844
00:45:50,880 --> 00:45:52,791
- Oh, my God.
- SHAKIRA: Oh, no!
845
00:45:52,920 --> 00:45:54,239
Kim!
846
00:45:56,080 --> 00:45:57,354
What the dick?
847
00:45:57,440 --> 00:45:59,476
Why did Fahim tell me
I could dress like this?
848
00:45:59,560 --> 00:46:02,074
Well, he didn't want you
to have to go buy something.
849
00:46:02,160 --> 00:46:04,000
Oh, my God. I only washed
the front of my hair.
850
00:46:04,040 --> 00:46:05,200
SHAKIRA: Here. You know what?
851
00:46:06,240 --> 00:46:07,656
I'm going to let you have one of these.
852
00:46:07,680 --> 00:46:08,908
KIM: Thank you.
853
00:46:09,280 --> 00:46:10,599
Now I look great.
854
00:46:10,680 --> 00:46:11,874
TANYA: Now you're ready.
855
00:46:11,960 --> 00:46:13,029
Now I'm ready to party.
856
00:46:13,120 --> 00:46:14,155
Oh, she likes it.
857
00:46:14,240 --> 00:46:15,389
(SHAKIRA LAUGHS)
858
00:46:16,000 --> 00:46:17,360
- Sure.
- SHAKIRA: Oh, wow. Well...
859
00:46:17,440 --> 00:46:19,476
(DARI SONG PLAYING)
860
00:46:35,960 --> 00:46:39,111
It was worse than a unibrow.
It went all the way into his hair.
861
00:46:40,200 --> 00:46:41,416
(TANYA LAUGHS)
We all have some reason
862
00:46:41,440 --> 00:46:42,509
for being here.
863
00:46:42,600 --> 00:46:44,113
What's your reason?
864
00:46:44,200 --> 00:46:45,235
What is yours?
865
00:46:45,320 --> 00:46:46,696
I don't have a good one. I'm just here.
866
00:46:46,720 --> 00:46:48,551
Come on, she just told her unibrow story.
867
00:46:48,640 --> 00:46:49,993
I just... I don't have one.
868
00:46:50,080 --> 00:46:51,149
Come on.
869
00:46:53,480 --> 00:46:57,393
I was at the gym after work
one night. Stationary bike.
870
00:46:57,880 --> 00:47:00,713
Okay? The same bike every day.
871
00:47:00,800 --> 00:47:03,473
And I notice this
872
00:47:03,560 --> 00:47:04,629
indentation in the carpet,
873
00:47:04,720 --> 00:47:06,280
it's, like, a foot in front of my bike.
874
00:47:07,040 --> 00:47:10,316
And I realize that it's from
where my bike used to be.
875
00:47:13,320 --> 00:47:16,915
I have done thousands
of miles on this bike
876
00:47:17,880 --> 00:47:19,996
and I have gone backwards.
877
00:47:20,080 --> 00:47:22,310
I have literally gone backwards.
878
00:47:22,400 --> 00:47:23,594
I just
879
00:47:24,200 --> 00:47:27,317
wanted to blow everything up.
I just wanted out of my job,
880
00:47:27,400 --> 00:47:31,188
writing news scripts for
dumb pretty people to read.
881
00:47:31,280 --> 00:47:32,633
I wanted... (LAUGHS)
882
00:47:33,600 --> 00:47:35,670
...out of having to decide whether
883
00:47:35,760 --> 00:47:38,991
I should just marry
my mildly depressive boyfriend.
884
00:47:39,120 --> 00:47:40,473
And that's it.
885
00:47:41,600 --> 00:47:44,034
I just... I couldn't look at that
886
00:47:44,160 --> 00:47:45,832
fucking carpet anymore.
887
00:47:49,440 --> 00:47:51,158
(INHALES DEEPLY) Oh...
888
00:47:53,120 --> 00:47:56,351
Well, that is officially the most
889
00:47:56,440 --> 00:47:58,635
American white lady
story I've ever heard.
890
00:47:58,720 --> 00:48:01,075
TANYA: (LAUGHING) Shut up.
SHAKIRA: It is.
891
00:48:01,200 --> 00:48:02,428
You know what? Fuck that.
892
00:48:02,520 --> 00:48:07,036
You are a battle-tested
foreign correspondent.
893
00:48:07,120 --> 00:48:10,396
You're a solid Kabul 9.5.
894
00:48:10,480 --> 00:48:12,789
And you are fucking single, all right?
895
00:48:12,880 --> 00:48:15,792
So that lady back at the gym, she's dead.
896
00:48:16,640 --> 00:48:18,119
This is your life.
897
00:48:19,080 --> 00:48:21,275
(CHEERFUL MUSIC PLAYING)
898
00:48:22,600 --> 00:48:23,600
(LAUGHS)
899
00:48:33,520 --> 00:48:35,431
(CHEERFUL MUSIC CONTINUES)
900
00:48:41,960 --> 00:48:44,076
KIM: Despite Taliban threats,
election observers
901
00:48:44,160 --> 00:48:45,878
are reporting high voter turnout,
902
00:48:45,960 --> 00:48:47,313
especially in cities.
903
00:48:47,400 --> 00:48:49,311
A British fighter-bomber last week
904
00:48:49,400 --> 00:48:51,277
reduced this compound to rubble.
905
00:48:51,360 --> 00:48:54,397
...not to cooperate.
Oh, God. Christ, there's a...
906
00:48:56,200 --> 00:48:58,668
Bahzo! There's a bahzo here!
907
00:48:58,760 --> 00:49:01,752
The surprise visit from Secretary
of Defense Donald Rumsfeld.
908
00:49:01,880 --> 00:49:04,633
Today, Kabul's first
licensed female driver,
909
00:49:04,720 --> 00:49:07,393
Gulbahar Yousofy, hits the road.
910
00:49:07,680 --> 00:49:09,591
- (THUDDING)
- (MEN SHOUTING)
911
00:49:09,920 --> 00:49:12,514
That sucks. That sucks for women.
912
00:49:15,280 --> 00:49:16,429
Thank you.
913
00:49:19,440 --> 00:49:20,953
Congratulations on your promotion,
914
00:49:21,040 --> 00:49:22,696
- Mr. Attorney General.
- (CHUCKLES) Thank you.
915
00:49:22,720 --> 00:49:24,336
As I said, we could have
done this over the phone.
916
00:49:24,360 --> 00:49:26,828
I'm just looking for a statement
on sharia in Kandahar.
917
00:49:26,920 --> 00:49:28,797
I understand that you are no longer
918
00:49:28,880 --> 00:49:30,711
with your special friend Chris.
919
00:49:32,280 --> 00:49:33,315
Who told you that?
920
00:49:33,400 --> 00:49:34,913
Very little happens in Afghanistan
921
00:49:35,000 --> 00:49:38,231
that Ali Massoud Sadiq
does not know about.
922
00:49:38,320 --> 00:49:39,389
Very little.
923
00:49:39,960 --> 00:49:41,109
May I show you something?
924
00:49:41,200 --> 00:49:42,269
Of course.
925
00:49:48,760 --> 00:49:50,239
You have a bed in your office.
926
00:49:50,320 --> 00:49:51,389
Yes.
927
00:49:52,240 --> 00:49:54,037
There is a bed here now.
928
00:49:56,880 --> 00:50:00,998
So, no comment
on sharia in Kandahar or...
929
00:50:05,640 --> 00:50:07,073
No comment.
930
00:50:07,160 --> 00:50:09,594
- We are going to ISAF later, yes?
- KIM: I don't know.
931
00:50:09,760 --> 00:50:12,228
Pressers and "right of boom" crap.
Who cares?
932
00:50:12,320 --> 00:50:13,616
We need to enterprise something. Okay?
933
00:50:13,640 --> 00:50:15,676
We need to get out of the bubble.
934
00:50:16,240 --> 00:50:17,639
Oh, that hit the net.
935
00:50:18,080 --> 00:50:19,832
- The what?
- It hit the net.
936
00:50:20,160 --> 00:50:22,151
- The invisible net?
- Yes.
937
00:50:22,240 --> 00:50:23,912
- My point.
- (LAUGHS) Let's go. Bullshit.
938
00:50:24,000 --> 00:50:26,616
You know, Kim, the reason that your
village well story got traction is
939
00:50:26,640 --> 00:50:29,154
because it wasn't a bang-bang,
it was about women's rights.
940
00:50:29,320 --> 00:50:31,038
It was a brilliant piece, that.
941
00:50:31,120 --> 00:50:32,394
Oh, fucking hell. (LAUGHS)
942
00:50:32,480 --> 00:50:33,515
(INDISTINCT)
943
00:50:33,600 --> 00:50:34,749
We should go to Kandahar.
944
00:50:34,840 --> 00:50:35,989
No, too dangerous.
945
00:50:36,120 --> 00:50:38,315
No way. It's a wee bit
fluid down there these days,
946
00:50:38,400 --> 00:50:39,515
security-wise.
947
00:50:39,600 --> 00:50:41,400
Yeah, it might
be a bit much for you, eh, Nic?
948
00:50:41,440 --> 00:50:42,496
You're a bit late to the whole
949
00:50:42,520 --> 00:50:44,160
"Kandahar's gone
to shit" party. You know?
950
00:50:44,200 --> 00:50:46,216
What about the woman thing
where the sharia law is back?
951
00:50:46,240 --> 00:50:47,936
And there was a firebombing
there the other day.
952
00:50:47,960 --> 00:50:49,056
Yeah, I think it's worth the risk.
953
00:50:49,080 --> 00:50:50,798
Iain, that's easy for you to say, mate,
954
00:50:50,880 --> 00:50:53,713
sitting there in your cozzie taking
photos of the fucking garden.
955
00:50:53,800 --> 00:50:56,109
(LAUGHS) Look, Nicky,
I know you've been specially trained
956
00:50:56,200 --> 00:50:58,873
to protect New Zealand from,
what, fucking dolphins?
957
00:50:59,280 --> 00:51:01,316
But I'm not exactly
a war zone virgin, you know?
958
00:51:01,400 --> 00:51:04,039
I was kidnapped by the AIG
when they were still called that.
959
00:51:04,120 --> 00:51:05,553
Why dolphins?
960
00:51:06,400 --> 00:51:07,816
What do dolphins got to do
with New Zealand?
961
00:51:07,840 --> 00:51:08,856
Nothing to do with it. I'm just...
962
00:51:08,880 --> 00:51:10,029
White pointers and sharks,
963
00:51:10,120 --> 00:51:11,256
but the dolphins never hurt anyone.
964
00:51:11,280 --> 00:51:13,736
I know they've not hurt anyone, mate.
I'm just making the point...
965
00:51:13,760 --> 00:51:15,040
I'm not gonna protect my country
966
00:51:15,080 --> 00:51:16,832
from an animal that hasn't hurt anyone.
967
00:51:16,920 --> 00:51:18,114
Oh, Jesus Christ.
968
00:51:18,400 --> 00:51:21,119
Dolphins? What a joke.
969
00:51:21,200 --> 00:51:22,816
I'll come with you
in the car if there's room.
970
00:51:22,840 --> 00:51:24,558
Oh, great, we're all going to Kandahar!
971
00:51:27,000 --> 00:51:30,072
I can make some calls.
We can take my car.
972
00:51:30,400 --> 00:51:32,630
Kim, if we are going to Kandahar,
973
00:51:32,760 --> 00:51:35,149
you will need to buy some new clothes.
974
00:51:35,760 --> 00:51:36,909
KIM: I can't...
975
00:51:38,640 --> 00:51:39,914
(EXHALES SHARPLY)
976
00:51:41,400 --> 00:51:43,072
(MUTTERING)
977
00:51:46,000 --> 00:51:49,072
Ah! It's so pretty,
I don't even want to vote.
978
00:51:51,920 --> 00:51:54,070
(PLEASANT MUSIC PLAYING)
979
00:52:17,520 --> 00:52:19,216
I'm flipping you the bird
in here right now.
980
00:52:19,240 --> 00:52:20,355
(LAUGHS)
981
00:52:20,440 --> 00:52:21,816
- Is this your car, Fahim?
- FAHIM: Yes.
982
00:52:21,840 --> 00:52:23,256
KIM: This is a fucking piece of shit.
983
00:52:23,280 --> 00:52:25,032
FAHIM: I think it's very nice.
984
00:52:27,000 --> 00:52:28,752
(INDISTINCT CHATTER)
985
00:52:29,960 --> 00:52:31,712
KIM: No one is staring at me. It's weird.
986
00:52:31,800 --> 00:52:34,633
You are in the Blue Prison now.
987
00:53:08,400 --> 00:53:09,960
KIM: Fahim, what does the graffiti say?
988
00:53:10,320 --> 00:53:12,390
FAHIM: "No education for woman."
989
00:53:12,480 --> 00:53:13,799
(CAMERA CLICKS)
990
00:53:16,480 --> 00:53:18,152
- Brian.
- Huh?
991
00:53:36,120 --> 00:53:37,872
(MAN YELLING)
992
00:53:40,360 --> 00:53:41,759
Fahim, what's going on up there?
993
00:53:44,880 --> 00:53:46,029
The Taliban used to do this.
994
00:53:46,960 --> 00:53:49,474
Execute the radios and televisions.
995
00:53:50,120 --> 00:53:52,076
(ALL SPEAKING DARI)
996
00:53:53,640 --> 00:53:55,471
TALL BRIAN: Oh, shit!
997
00:53:56,760 --> 00:53:58,273
(ALL SPEAKING DARI)
998
00:54:00,320 --> 00:54:01,376
TALL BRIAN: Get out of the way!
999
00:54:01,400 --> 00:54:02,674
IAIN: Move on! Move on!
1000
00:54:02,760 --> 00:54:05,035
KIM: You guys can't go
out there, but I can.
1001
00:54:07,400 --> 00:54:08,799
(SPEAKING DARI)
1002
00:54:11,200 --> 00:54:13,350
FAHIM: Kim, come back.
NIC: Kim, wait! Come back.
1003
00:54:13,560 --> 00:54:15,516
(MAN SPEAKING DARI)
1004
00:54:29,000 --> 00:54:30,228
(ALL RESPONDING IN DARI)
1005
00:54:32,920 --> 00:54:34,035
(SPEAKING DARI)
1006
00:54:43,480 --> 00:54:45,471
(ALL CLAMORING)
1007
00:54:47,600 --> 00:54:48,794
(SPEAKING DARI)
1008
00:54:56,000 --> 00:54:57,800
FAHIM: Kim, now.
We must hurry. We must hurry.
1009
00:54:59,200 --> 00:55:01,191
(CLAMORING CONTINUES)
1010
00:55:13,360 --> 00:55:14,873
NIC: Get in the car!
1011
00:55:17,640 --> 00:55:19,232
Get out of here!
1012
00:55:21,920 --> 00:55:25,708
That was a men's park, Kim! Men only!
1013
00:55:27,400 --> 00:55:28,549
Fuck!
1014
00:55:30,880 --> 00:55:32,791
Bebakhshid, Fahim.
1015
00:55:40,160 --> 00:55:41,559
CAPT. STERN:...coalition capacity,
1016
00:55:41,640 --> 00:55:43,198
priorities and support.
1017
00:55:43,520 --> 00:55:48,036
Let's look now at the 12 first-tier
drivers in the current COIN paradigm.
1018
00:55:48,680 --> 00:55:49,680
Shit.
1019
00:55:49,760 --> 00:55:51,591
CAPT. STERN:
Tactical and institutional...
1020
00:55:51,680 --> 00:55:52,976
- (CELL PHONE VIBRATING)
- ...is always in purple,
1021
00:55:53,000 --> 00:55:54,319
and noting as such...
1022
00:55:55,160 --> 00:55:56,513
HOLLANEK: Kim Baker.
1023
00:55:56,600 --> 00:55:57,953
Sir, do you have a minute?
1024
00:55:58,160 --> 00:55:59,912
If I'm understanding this briefing,
1025
00:56:00,000 --> 00:56:01,718
I have all the fucking time in the world.
1026
00:56:01,800 --> 00:56:04,155
(CHUCKLES) Okay.
Well, I'm covering the girls' school
1027
00:56:04,320 --> 00:56:05,594
in Kandahar that was firebombed
1028
00:56:05,680 --> 00:56:08,752
and I'm wondering if you could
give me something, on background,
1029
00:56:08,840 --> 00:56:12,276
just about the security situation here
1030
00:56:12,360 --> 00:56:14,191
and the state of the war in general.
1031
00:56:14,320 --> 00:56:15,753
Yeah, I can give you something.
1032
00:56:15,840 --> 00:56:17,273
This war is like fucking a gorilla.
1033
00:56:17,360 --> 00:56:19,510
You keep going till
the gorilla wants to stop.
1034
00:56:20,600 --> 00:56:22,511
I think I can paraphrase that.
1035
00:56:22,640 --> 00:56:23,993
HOLLANEK: Knock yourself out.
1036
00:56:26,040 --> 00:56:27,109
(FAHIM SIGHS)
1037
00:56:38,560 --> 00:56:43,793
You know, Afghanistan produces
90% of the world's narcotic opiates.
1038
00:56:43,880 --> 00:56:45,313
- So they say.
- FAHIM: Mmm.
1039
00:56:46,440 --> 00:56:49,318
When I worked in the hospital,
1040
00:56:49,400 --> 00:56:52,392
these men, heroin addicts,
1041
00:56:52,480 --> 00:56:55,233
would come in with a child.
1042
00:56:55,320 --> 00:56:58,073
They'd say,
"Oh, my son, he broke his arm."
1043
00:56:59,080 --> 00:57:01,594
And while we were tending to the child,
1044
00:57:01,680 --> 00:57:03,910
the men would steal our morphine.
1045
00:57:04,600 --> 00:57:08,798
And we would wonder
how the arm got broken to begin with.
1046
00:57:08,880 --> 00:57:11,030
What are we talking about, Fahim?
1047
00:57:12,360 --> 00:57:13,360
Hmm.
1048
00:57:13,520 --> 00:57:17,672
The human body
produces its own heroin.
1049
00:57:17,760 --> 00:57:20,035
In fact, when the fight-or-flight instinct
1050
00:57:20,120 --> 00:57:22,350
is activated in the hypothalamus,
1051
00:57:22,440 --> 00:57:27,434
your body releases endorphins,
dopamine and norepinephrine.
1052
00:57:28,560 --> 00:57:33,190
That is heroin, cocaine
and amphetamine, all at once.
1053
00:57:33,280 --> 00:57:36,795
Okay, great. Are we having
the Afghan version of this conversation,
1054
00:57:36,880 --> 00:57:38,096
where in New York we would have
1055
00:57:38,120 --> 00:57:40,554
gotten to the point,
like, five minutes ago?
1056
00:57:43,920 --> 00:57:45,956
There is a reason
to believe that a person
1057
00:57:46,080 --> 00:57:48,548
can get addicted to this type of high.
1058
00:57:49,560 --> 00:57:52,028
Soldiers, athletes...
1059
00:57:52,120 --> 00:57:54,076
War reporters. Got it.
1060
00:57:54,920 --> 00:57:58,879
An addict always needs
a greater and greater dosage.
1061
00:57:58,960 --> 00:58:02,839
And then people
make mistakes, people get hurt.
1062
00:58:02,920 --> 00:58:05,832
I get it. You're a newlywed. I can
1063
00:58:05,920 --> 00:58:08,480
probably get them
to go up to $125 a day.
1064
00:58:16,280 --> 00:58:17,918
Let us have the
1065
00:58:18,920 --> 00:58:22,595
American version of this conversation.
1066
00:58:23,000 --> 00:58:24,115
KIM: Okay.
1067
00:58:25,840 --> 00:58:28,673
I do not want to work with you anymore.
1068
00:58:28,800 --> 00:58:31,030
No, okay, wait.
Fahim, I know I fucked up.
1069
00:58:31,120 --> 00:58:33,554
I do not think you do.
1070
00:58:33,680 --> 00:58:35,830
- Hear me out.
- Kim, no.
1071
00:58:36,480 --> 00:58:41,270
I am now married.
I want to have children.
1072
00:58:41,360 --> 00:58:43,351
It will not happen again. It's not gonna...
1073
00:58:43,480 --> 00:58:48,474
"I ride after a deer
and find myself chased by a hog.
1074
00:58:49,160 --> 00:58:50,878
"I plot to get what I want
1075
00:58:51,920 --> 00:58:53,717
"and I end up in prison.
1076
00:58:53,800 --> 00:58:57,315
"I dig pits to trap others and I fall in.
1077
00:58:58,200 --> 00:59:00,794
"I should be suspicious of what I want."
1078
00:59:02,360 --> 00:59:04,351
I don't know what that means.
1079
00:59:08,640 --> 00:59:09,993
You do.
1080
00:59:17,160 --> 00:59:18,160
Fahim?
1081
00:59:24,120 --> 00:59:25,314
(SIGHS)
1082
00:59:33,600 --> 00:59:34,635
(SIGHS)
1083
00:59:40,000 --> 00:59:41,877
(RESUMES TYPING)
1084
00:59:52,600 --> 00:59:54,397
(LOUD MUSIC PLAYING)
1085
00:59:57,760 --> 00:59:58,760
(CHUCKLES)
1086
01:00:01,400 --> 01:00:03,038
KIM: I can't breathe in here.
1087
01:00:04,000 --> 01:00:05,353
Time to take a walk.
1088
01:00:05,880 --> 01:00:07,552
I have to go outside.
1089
01:00:08,240 --> 01:00:10,196
I have to go home.
1090
01:00:14,640 --> 01:00:15,640
(MAN SPEAKING DARI)
1091
01:00:15,760 --> 01:00:18,479
Put on your headscarf
1092
01:00:27,280 --> 01:00:29,350
(PEOPLE YELLING INDISTINCTLY)
1093
01:00:35,320 --> 01:00:36,514
Shit.
1094
01:00:36,600 --> 01:00:37,953
It's the wrong house.
1095
01:00:41,280 --> 01:00:42,633
(DISTANT GUNFIRE)
1096
01:00:43,240 --> 01:00:44,593
Oh, shit.
1097
01:00:45,640 --> 01:00:47,153
(BABY WAILING)
1098
01:00:55,600 --> 01:00:57,352
(MAN YELLING INDISTINCTLY)
1099
01:01:08,000 --> 01:01:09,911
IAIN: Kim?
1100
01:01:10,000 --> 01:01:11,718
What the hell are you doing?
1101
01:01:14,000 --> 01:01:15,115
(SIGHING)
1102
01:01:15,800 --> 01:01:16,994
Here.
1103
01:01:17,080 --> 01:01:21,073
Kim, sip that. Okay? You all right?
1104
01:01:22,360 --> 01:01:25,158
Keep sipping that.
You're all right. It's okay.
1105
01:01:25,240 --> 01:01:26,593
It's okay. Hey.
1106
01:01:27,560 --> 01:01:28,776
- Hey, it's all right.
- (SIGHS)
1107
01:01:28,800 --> 01:01:31,837
Oi. Now, that there was a bit of fun.
1108
01:01:31,960 --> 01:01:33,240
- Are you mental?
- Okay, mate...
1109
01:01:33,360 --> 01:01:34,816
I'm not your mate.
I'm gonna ask you again,
1110
01:01:34,840 --> 01:01:35,875
are you fucking mental?
1111
01:01:35,960 --> 01:01:39,236
- Come on, lain, it's not his fault.
- What's your job again? Hmm?
1112
01:01:39,320 --> 01:01:40,896
Because if I hadn't
come back to see you lot
1113
01:01:40,920 --> 01:01:42,136
because I stole a bottle of sake
1114
01:01:42,160 --> 01:01:43,296
from a Japanese travel writer...
1115
01:01:43,320 --> 01:01:44,355
Wait, you have sake?
1116
01:01:44,440 --> 01:01:45,873
...you could've killed her, "mate!"
1117
01:01:45,960 --> 01:01:47,552
- Oh, fuck off.
- (GRUNTS)
1118
01:01:48,760 --> 01:01:51,354
Jesus! What the fuck? (GROANS)
1119
01:01:51,680 --> 01:01:53,280
(IN AMERICAN ACCENT)
Dude, what the fuck?
1120
01:01:53,440 --> 01:01:55,431
Did you fucking sucker punch me?
1121
01:01:55,520 --> 01:01:56,953
You broke my nose.
1122
01:01:57,480 --> 01:01:59,630
- You fucking American?
- Are you a Yank?
1123
01:01:59,760 --> 01:02:01,671
- I'm Canadian, you asshole.
- Ugh.
1124
01:02:02,200 --> 01:02:03,758
I almost fucked a Canadian?
1125
01:02:03,840 --> 01:02:06,718
I'd stay down if I were you, ya wee cunt.
1126
01:02:06,840 --> 01:02:08,910
And that's not a term of affection.
1127
01:02:10,040 --> 01:02:11,359
Fuck that.
1128
01:02:12,520 --> 01:02:14,829
(BREATHES SHARPLY)
1129
01:02:19,480 --> 01:02:20,879
(BOTH MOANING)
1130
01:02:22,200 --> 01:02:24,316
Oh, God! Mmm.
1131
01:02:26,240 --> 01:02:27,593
- (GRUNTS)
- KIM: Ow!
1132
01:02:27,840 --> 01:02:28,909
- Wait.
- Oh, fuck.
1133
01:02:29,040 --> 01:02:32,669
Iain, don't carry me around.
I'm not a fucking baby.
1134
01:02:33,160 --> 01:02:35,628
- IAIN: Ah!
- Goddamn it.
1135
01:02:35,720 --> 01:02:37,392
What the fuck are you doing?
1136
01:02:37,640 --> 01:02:38,640
(MOANING)
1137
01:02:42,520 --> 01:02:44,696
- Take it off.
- IAIN: I'm fucking trying to take it off!
1138
01:02:44,720 --> 01:02:46,915
Oh, God, I'm gonna put it
in you so fucking hard,
1139
01:02:47,000 --> 01:02:48,376
- you're gonna fucking get it.
- Shh. Don't talk.
1140
01:02:48,400 --> 01:02:49,576
IAIN: I want everything in your mouth.
1141
01:02:49,600 --> 01:02:50,635
Iain, just shut it.
1142
01:02:50,720 --> 01:02:53,314
I'll take you lying down, come on.
1143
01:02:53,440 --> 01:02:56,113
Do you have one of those
weird little penises?
1144
01:02:56,200 --> 01:02:58,350
IAIN: No! This is how I want to go.
1145
01:02:58,440 --> 01:03:00,476
KIM: No, I don't want to see myself.
1146
01:03:00,600 --> 01:03:02,079
Roll off!
1147
01:03:02,240 --> 01:03:04,231
IAIN: Okay, fuck it.
1148
01:03:05,040 --> 01:03:06,040
(MOANING)
1149
01:03:06,320 --> 01:03:08,914
Oh, God, I fucking...
1150
01:03:09,000 --> 01:03:10,069
What are you doing?
1151
01:03:10,160 --> 01:03:12,549
I'm just putting my fucking
finger in your mouth.
1152
01:03:12,640 --> 01:03:13,640
KIM: Shh. No!
1153
01:03:13,720 --> 01:03:14,936
Come on, just put
everything in your mouth.
1154
01:03:14,960 --> 01:03:15,995
(KIM GAGS)
1155
01:03:17,240 --> 01:03:18,514
Do you want me to go?
1156
01:03:18,600 --> 01:03:19,919
No.
1157
01:03:21,600 --> 01:03:22,874
- (THUDDING)
- (IAIN GROANS)
1158
01:03:23,280 --> 01:03:24,679
(IAIN BRUSHING TEETH)
1159
01:03:34,640 --> 01:03:36,312
There's aught like a good shag.
1160
01:03:36,680 --> 01:03:38,830
Okay, let's try to be adults here.
1161
01:03:39,000 --> 01:03:40,513
I think we were.
1162
01:03:40,760 --> 01:03:43,638
Obviously this was just
a Kabubble thing, right?
1163
01:03:43,720 --> 01:03:44,755
Just a
1164
01:03:45,480 --> 01:03:48,711
fun mistake where one
of us had an orgasm.
1165
01:03:49,440 --> 01:03:52,273
I mean, we're both in a really bad place.
And then you
1166
01:03:52,600 --> 01:03:54,750
punched Nic.
1167
01:03:55,240 --> 01:03:56,958
I don't know. It's endorphins, right?
1168
01:03:58,440 --> 01:03:59,919
Nope, that's not what this is.
1169
01:04:00,000 --> 01:04:01,672
No, you don't need to be gallant.
1170
01:04:01,800 --> 01:04:03,518
I'm serious.
1171
01:04:04,520 --> 01:04:07,717
I fancy you, Kim Baker.
1172
01:04:08,440 --> 01:04:09,634
I do.
1173
01:04:10,200 --> 01:04:13,795
Of all the dozens of women
in this country, I chose you.
1174
01:04:13,880 --> 01:04:15,677
No, you didn't, because this is not me.
1175
01:04:15,760 --> 01:04:16,829
I would never do this.
1176
01:04:16,960 --> 01:04:19,520
Precisely. Because
you're not you anymore.
1177
01:04:19,600 --> 01:04:21,556
You're in the Kabubble.
You said so yourself.
1178
01:04:21,640 --> 01:04:23,949
- (SIGHS)
- Don't fucking hide.
1179
01:04:25,320 --> 01:04:27,788
Kim, you know the frog
in the pot of water?
1180
01:04:27,880 --> 01:04:30,997
You raise the temperature bit by bit,
1181
01:04:31,120 --> 01:04:32,712
the frog doesn't notice?
1182
01:04:33,800 --> 01:04:35,199
That's what this place
1183
01:04:35,280 --> 01:04:37,236
and that's what this job does to all of us.
1184
01:04:37,320 --> 01:04:40,790
It changes your perception
of what's normal until...
1185
01:04:42,720 --> 01:04:44,392
...until here we are.
1186
01:04:45,920 --> 01:04:47,273
You know the frog boils to death
1187
01:04:47,360 --> 01:04:48,952
- at the end of that, right?
- Nope.
1188
01:04:49,040 --> 01:04:50,234
- Yeah.
- Nope.
1189
01:04:54,160 --> 01:04:55,434
(IAIN SIGHS)
1190
01:04:57,360 --> 01:04:59,396
Is that my toothbrush?
1191
01:04:59,800 --> 01:05:00,800
Ugh!
1192
01:05:02,080 --> 01:05:04,514
KIM: What's going on
with my Kandahar piece, Ed?
1193
01:05:04,600 --> 01:05:06,079
ED: Jerry killed it.
1194
01:05:06,160 --> 01:05:07,160
Wait, who killed it?
1195
01:05:07,280 --> 01:05:09,748
Jerry Taub, head of the network, Kim.
1196
01:05:09,840 --> 01:05:11,592
- What happened to Angela?
- She left.
1197
01:05:11,680 --> 01:05:14,911
She's running a website
for women or something.
1198
01:05:15,040 --> 01:05:18,749
Look, I can't sell
Afghanistan in Monday meetings.
1199
01:05:18,840 --> 01:05:22,196
Your war's got chronic
same-shit-different-day-itis.
1200
01:05:22,280 --> 01:05:24,589
Great. What am I even doing here, Ed?
1201
01:05:24,680 --> 01:05:27,956
I wouldn't ask that too loudly, Kim.
1202
01:05:28,040 --> 01:05:31,635
Though I'd be thrilled to have
you back at your old desk.
1203
01:05:37,440 --> 01:05:38,953
That's all I got.
1204
01:05:42,440 --> 01:05:45,796
Hey, I heard that Nic quit
and you fucked Iain!
1205
01:05:45,880 --> 01:05:46,915
KIM: Whoa, hold on.
1206
01:05:47,000 --> 01:05:49,275
Listen, the Iain thing
is not a thing, okay?
1207
01:05:49,360 --> 01:05:51,476
We have the same size hands. I can't.
1208
01:05:51,560 --> 01:05:54,199
It's just work has been
a little frustrating.
1209
01:05:54,280 --> 01:05:55,315
Yeah. I get it.
1210
01:05:55,400 --> 01:05:57,152
Because Afghanistan
doesn't rate anymore.
1211
01:05:57,240 --> 01:05:58,639
That is bullshit.
1212
01:05:58,720 --> 01:06:00,376
You've got to find
your own luck here, babe,
1213
01:06:00,400 --> 01:06:01,628
you know that.
1214
01:06:04,640 --> 01:06:05,868
What?
1215
01:06:07,120 --> 01:06:08,553
What? What is that?
1216
01:06:08,640 --> 01:06:11,029
Hey! You're hooking up
Tanya in the Tribals?
1217
01:06:11,120 --> 01:06:12,519
What the fuck, Jaweed?
1218
01:06:12,600 --> 01:06:14,272
Her network will pay me triple.
1219
01:06:14,400 --> 01:06:16,296
I taught you how to clear
your Internet history, okay?
1220
01:06:16,320 --> 01:06:17,912
What has Vanderpoel ever done for you?
1221
01:06:18,000 --> 01:06:19,353
Give me a break, man.
1222
01:06:19,480 --> 01:06:21,596
Whatever. You owe me.
What else do you have?
1223
01:06:21,680 --> 01:06:22,749
You're Ghilzai, right?
1224
01:06:22,840 --> 01:06:24,239
Do you have any other connections
1225
01:06:24,320 --> 01:06:25,673
to members of the Ghilzai family?
1226
01:06:25,760 --> 01:06:27,398
- You mean Hekmatyar?
- Maybe.
1227
01:06:27,480 --> 01:06:29,755
Are you fucking crazy, Kim? Please.
1228
01:06:29,840 --> 01:06:31,273
(LOUD MUSIC PLAYING)
1229
01:06:31,360 --> 01:06:33,032
Hey! Nabil! Hey.
1230
01:06:33,160 --> 01:06:34,957
Are you still in touch with that ISI guy
1231
01:06:35,040 --> 01:06:37,679
who says he knows
who killed Abdul Haq?
1232
01:06:37,760 --> 01:06:40,479
That guy? (SCOFFS)
He's dead two years.
1233
01:06:40,560 --> 01:06:41,675
(GRUNTS ANGRILY)
1234
01:06:42,520 --> 01:06:44,272
(INDISTINCT YELLING)
1235
01:06:47,240 --> 01:06:48,832
(CHEERING)
1236
01:06:54,040 --> 01:06:55,155
Hey.
1237
01:07:01,160 --> 01:07:02,309
(GRUNTS)
1238
01:07:04,160 --> 01:07:05,656
- (IAIN BRUSHING TEETH)
- Oh, for fuck's sake.
1239
01:07:05,680 --> 01:07:06,999
Mrs. MacKelpie.
1240
01:07:08,760 --> 01:07:09,909
(LAUGHS)
1241
01:07:11,520 --> 01:07:12,589
Twice?
1242
01:07:12,680 --> 01:07:13,696
IAIN: Two and a half, actually.
1243
01:07:13,720 --> 01:07:14,720
KIM: Ugh!
1244
01:07:15,360 --> 01:07:17,828
I don't remember
what happened last night.
1245
01:07:17,960 --> 01:07:20,269
Kabul happened,
my wee froggy in the pot.
1246
01:07:20,360 --> 01:07:22,874
Did I not wear a headscarf?
Where's my phone?
1247
01:07:23,000 --> 01:07:24,136
I believe I threw your mobile
in my cupboard.
1248
01:07:24,160 --> 01:07:25,229
Why?
1249
01:07:25,320 --> 01:07:27,550
Because mid-coitus
you tried to call Tanya
1250
01:07:27,680 --> 01:07:29,716
about some bloody wild goose chase
in the Tribals.
1251
01:07:29,840 --> 01:07:31,114
I told you about that?
1252
01:07:31,200 --> 01:07:32,336
Mmm. Well, it was hard
to understand you
1253
01:07:32,360 --> 01:07:34,999
once you asked me
to stuff your knickers in your mouth.
1254
01:07:36,440 --> 01:07:38,192
I'm joking, Kim. That didn't happen.
1255
01:07:38,360 --> 01:07:40,157
(SIGHS) Fuck. I am...
1256
01:07:40,240 --> 01:07:42,071
I am fucking losing it.
1257
01:07:42,680 --> 01:07:44,113
I need a win.
1258
01:07:44,200 --> 01:07:45,336
Christ, if you're that hard up,
1259
01:07:45,360 --> 01:07:47,112
I'll share my Badakhshan thing with you.
1260
01:07:47,200 --> 01:07:48,599
What Badakhshan thing?
1261
01:07:48,680 --> 01:07:51,274
You know China won the contract
to mine for gold up there.
1262
01:07:51,360 --> 01:07:53,828
They built roads, airport,
housing, all that.
1263
01:07:53,920 --> 01:07:55,956
Well, guess whose responsibility it is
1264
01:07:56,040 --> 01:07:57,951
to protect the investment of Red China
1265
01:07:58,040 --> 01:07:59,917
in this restive nation?
1266
01:08:00,440 --> 01:08:04,069
American troops, Chinese gold.
Oh, Iain, that's really good.
1267
01:08:04,200 --> 01:08:05,349
People are gonna get mad.
1268
01:08:05,440 --> 01:08:07,376
Just waiting for my guy
to give me the green light.
1269
01:08:07,400 --> 01:08:09,896
You pay for the trip,
I'll share the story with you. Easy peasy.
1270
01:08:09,920 --> 01:08:12,593
Really? Thank you. That's...
1271
01:08:13,560 --> 01:08:14,629
I owe you one.
1272
01:08:14,760 --> 01:08:17,558
Well, how about a half of one?
1273
01:08:17,680 --> 01:08:19,016
And then we can make it an even three.
1274
01:08:19,040 --> 01:08:21,156
Yeah. Or I could buy you breakfast.
1275
01:08:22,120 --> 01:08:24,429
Or a half of one
and we can make it an even three.
1276
01:08:24,560 --> 01:08:27,518
I think breakfast
is of equal monetary value.
1277
01:08:27,600 --> 01:08:29,511
My middle name is Eoghan.
1278
01:08:29,600 --> 01:08:31,670
Which is Erse... Shut up.
1279
01:08:31,760 --> 01:08:33,352
It's Erse for Owen.
1280
01:08:33,600 --> 01:08:34,828
- "Oo-hee"?
- Mmm-hmm.
1281
01:08:34,920 --> 01:08:36,831
- Iain "Oo-hee."
- Don't bother.
1282
01:08:36,920 --> 01:08:38,194
Where is Bin Laden?
1283
01:08:38,280 --> 01:08:39,376
People think he's in Pakistan, right?
1284
01:08:39,400 --> 01:08:40,400
Yeah.
1285
01:08:40,480 --> 01:08:42,198
You've got egg in your beard. Hang on.
1286
01:08:42,280 --> 01:08:43,349
Thank you.
1287
01:08:43,440 --> 01:08:46,159
Your national animal is the unicorn.
1288
01:08:46,240 --> 01:08:47,240
I think it's romantic.
1289
01:08:47,320 --> 01:08:49,311
That is the national animal
of the kingdom I ruled
1290
01:08:49,400 --> 01:08:50,536
- when I was eight.
- (CHUCKLES)
1291
01:08:50,560 --> 01:08:52,551
Who's your favorite Three Stooge?
1292
01:08:53,120 --> 01:08:57,113
Um, Larry. Because he's put upon
in a way that I identify with.
1293
01:08:57,200 --> 01:08:59,668
- (BOTH LAUGHING)
- He's the Art Garfunkel, right?
1294
01:08:59,760 --> 01:09:01,113
Yeah.
1295
01:09:01,200 --> 01:09:04,192
So, I thought I might
like to hang out with you for a bit.
1296
01:09:04,280 --> 01:09:05,872
Yeah. Okay. Yeah.
1297
01:09:06,880 --> 01:09:08,456
Do you really want to
know what I want to do?
1298
01:09:08,480 --> 01:09:09,480
Yeah. Okay.
1299
01:09:09,520 --> 01:09:10,839
I'd like to kiss you.
1300
01:09:14,320 --> 01:09:15,469
Who knew?
1301
01:09:16,440 --> 01:09:18,112
(INDISTINCT CHATTER)
1302
01:09:19,800 --> 01:09:20,994
IAIN: Here's my little man.
1303
01:09:21,080 --> 01:09:23,230
No, Iain, don't. It's a scam.
1304
01:09:23,320 --> 01:09:25,550
Do you think so? Really?
1305
01:09:25,640 --> 01:09:28,234
I know it's a scam, Kim. So what?
1306
01:09:28,320 --> 01:09:30,356
He's still begging in the street.
Hey, Abrahaim.
1307
01:09:31,160 --> 01:09:32,639
There's my boy.
1308
01:09:43,400 --> 01:09:45,152
I knew I'd win you over.
1309
01:09:45,880 --> 01:09:47,233
(WOMAN YELLING)
1310
01:09:48,880 --> 01:09:50,108
(SPEAKS DARI)
1311
01:09:50,800 --> 01:09:51,915
Jesus!
1312
01:09:59,080 --> 01:10:01,992
TANYA: What the fuck, Jaweed?
Are they coming or not?
1313
01:10:02,680 --> 01:10:03,715
Here they are.
1314
01:10:09,480 --> 01:10:10,656
DRONE PILOT: (ON RADIO)
There they are.
1315
01:10:10,680 --> 01:10:14,514
4-6800, line six north.
1316
01:10:19,360 --> 01:10:20,713
Standing by approval.
1317
01:10:20,960 --> 01:10:22,518
We are clear to engage target.
1318
01:10:22,680 --> 01:10:24,716
Roger. Clear to engage target.
1319
01:10:32,600 --> 01:10:34,158
It is him. That's my guy.
1320
01:10:35,040 --> 01:10:36,776
ANDY: If we go anywhere,
Jaweed, we take our vehicle.
1321
01:10:36,800 --> 01:10:37,915
No carpooling.
1322
01:10:38,000 --> 01:10:39,149
JAWEED: All right. Okay.
1323
01:10:45,640 --> 01:10:47,358
(INDISTINCT YELLING)
1324
01:10:47,440 --> 01:10:49,271
Shit! Shit!
1325
01:10:50,200 --> 01:10:51,394
ANDY: Stay calm.
1326
01:10:51,680 --> 01:10:52,999
(INDISTINCT YELLING CONTINUES)
1327
01:10:53,160 --> 01:10:54,160
(YELLS IN DARI)
1328
01:10:56,320 --> 01:10:57,548
(SCREAMING)
1329
01:10:58,880 --> 01:10:59,880
Splash.
1330
01:10:59,960 --> 01:11:01,313
Cease laser. Safe laser.
1331
01:11:01,400 --> 01:11:03,072
DRONE SENSOR: Laser off. Laser safe.
1332
01:11:03,160 --> 01:11:04,718
(ANDY SCREAMING)
1333
01:11:07,120 --> 01:11:08,792
(HELICOPTER APPROACHING)
1334
01:11:19,760 --> 01:11:21,034
(SIREN WAILING)
1335
01:11:23,320 --> 01:11:24,639
(MONITORS BEEPING)
1336
01:11:25,640 --> 01:11:26,914
(DOOR OPENING)
1337
01:11:27,000 --> 01:11:29,355
I'm looking for someone. Excuse me.
1338
01:11:36,760 --> 01:11:38,591
- Oh, my God. Tanya.
- Hi.
1339
01:11:38,680 --> 01:11:40,079
- Jesus.
- Oy.
1340
01:11:41,680 --> 01:11:43,557
Jaweed's dead.
1341
01:11:43,720 --> 01:11:45,073
Andy's in surgery.
1342
01:11:45,160 --> 01:11:46,479
I know. Iain talked to Colin.
1343
01:11:46,640 --> 01:11:47,993
Jesus!
1344
01:11:48,080 --> 01:11:49,433
I know. It's fucked.
1345
01:11:51,880 --> 01:11:53,791
You know, Colin was rolling.
1346
01:11:55,200 --> 01:11:57,555
What, like, rolling-rolling?
You have tape?
1347
01:11:57,640 --> 01:11:59,790
He got the whole fucking thing.
1348
01:11:59,880 --> 01:12:02,713
I'm going to go live with it
as soon as they let me out of here.
1349
01:12:03,080 --> 01:12:04,080
(SIGHS)
1350
01:12:04,320 --> 01:12:06,550
Can you fucking believe it?
1351
01:12:06,880 --> 01:12:08,393
- (GASPS)
- IAIN: Hey.
1352
01:12:08,560 --> 01:12:09,709
TANYA: Hi.
1353
01:12:10,160 --> 01:12:11,195
Aye.
1354
01:12:12,320 --> 01:12:14,000
- How are you?
- IAIN: You doing all right?
1355
01:12:14,040 --> 01:12:15,440
- (INDISTINCT YELLING)
- (EXPLODING)
1356
01:12:15,480 --> 01:12:17,152
TALL BRIAN: Holy shit!
1357
01:12:17,240 --> 01:12:19,310
And as we watch it
again there, Susanna,
1358
01:12:19,440 --> 01:12:22,989
you can actually see the Hellfire
missile right before it detonates.
1359
01:12:23,160 --> 01:12:24,991
- (MUSIC PLAYING)
- (WOMAN MOANING)
1360
01:12:27,560 --> 01:12:29,073
What is going on with Badakhshan?
1361
01:12:29,160 --> 01:12:31,390
Ah, snow's killing us.
1362
01:12:31,480 --> 01:12:32,674
So unless your network wants
1363
01:12:32,760 --> 01:12:34,376
to stump up the money for the helicopter,
1364
01:12:34,400 --> 01:12:36,789
we'll have to wait
till they clear the passes.
1365
01:12:36,880 --> 01:12:38,496
Kim, we have a bit of a situation outside.
1366
01:12:38,520 --> 01:12:39,520
Oh.
1367
01:12:40,000 --> 01:12:41,149
What?
1368
01:12:41,240 --> 01:12:42,958
TERRY: I just need you
to see something.
1369
01:12:43,080 --> 01:12:44,513
Sorry to interrupt.
1370
01:12:44,600 --> 01:12:45,816
KIM: Did he say what he wanted?
1371
01:12:45,840 --> 01:12:46,989
TERRY: I don't know.
1372
01:12:49,280 --> 01:12:50,280
(INAUDIBLE)
1373
01:12:51,440 --> 01:12:52,759
Fuck.
1374
01:12:52,880 --> 01:12:55,314
(BOTH ARGUING IN DARI)
1375
01:12:57,320 --> 01:12:59,436
Qadar. Qadar, it's okay. You can go in.
1376
01:12:59,520 --> 01:13:00,873
He just wants to talk to me.
1377
01:13:01,000 --> 01:13:02,672
- Okay. Okay.
- It's okay.
1378
01:13:03,040 --> 01:13:05,270
Oh, please, do not cover
your hair on my account.
1379
01:13:05,360 --> 01:13:06,713
It's such beautiful hair.
1380
01:13:06,800 --> 01:13:08,995
It's like the hide of a fine horse.
1381
01:13:09,080 --> 01:13:11,514
Sadiq, what are you doing here?
1382
01:13:12,880 --> 01:13:16,270
I was just going home
from closing a woman brothel
1383
01:13:16,360 --> 01:13:18,476
when I told my driver,
1384
01:13:18,560 --> 01:13:22,917
"Mahboobullah, this is
where my best friend Kimberly lives!"
1385
01:13:23,000 --> 01:13:26,390
But she has been a bad friend lately.
1386
01:13:27,560 --> 01:13:29,232
She does not call.
1387
01:13:29,960 --> 01:13:32,633
She does not invite me to her party.
1388
01:13:32,960 --> 01:13:34,188
I'm sorry,
1389
01:13:34,280 --> 01:13:36,475
but I didn't think the Attorney General
1390
01:13:36,560 --> 01:13:38,755
of the Islamic Republic of Afghanistan
1391
01:13:38,880 --> 01:13:40,120
went to parties at guesthouses.
1392
01:13:40,200 --> 01:13:41,918
And why not?
1393
01:13:42,000 --> 01:13:44,070
I am still a man, no?
1394
01:13:44,160 --> 01:13:46,071
I love music.
1395
01:13:46,160 --> 01:13:48,549
I love to dance! (EXCLAIMS)
1396
01:13:51,240 --> 01:13:52,912
(VOCALIZING)
1397
01:13:59,000 --> 01:14:00,000
But
1398
01:14:01,080 --> 01:14:03,594
even though you have been a bad friend,
1399
01:14:04,600 --> 01:14:06,158
I want you to be happy.
1400
01:14:08,080 --> 01:14:09,957
Do you have a special friend?
1401
01:14:11,080 --> 01:14:12,433
Because
1402
01:14:14,360 --> 01:14:17,113
I would love to be your special friend.
1403
01:14:18,680 --> 01:14:20,193
Would you like that, Kim?
1404
01:14:23,200 --> 01:14:24,553
You're a bad friend.
1405
01:14:25,440 --> 01:14:27,510
You are a bad friend.
1406
01:14:27,600 --> 01:14:31,513
In America, I would get
a book deal out of this shit!
1407
01:14:31,600 --> 01:14:33,716
You can't just do this, okay?
1408
01:14:33,800 --> 01:14:35,950
I haven't been on the air in months!
1409
01:14:36,040 --> 01:14:39,794
My best friend here almost died,
and I am jealous of her!
1410
01:14:40,200 --> 01:14:41,713
And I am just...
1411
01:14:42,480 --> 01:14:45,119
Fuck this! All of it!
1412
01:14:58,160 --> 01:14:59,593
(HIP-HOP MUSIC PLAYING)
1413
01:15:00,200 --> 01:15:01,713
(ALL SINGING ALONG)
1414
01:15:02,680 --> 01:15:03,680
(EXPLOSION)
1415
01:15:03,800 --> 01:15:04,800
(MUSIC STOPS)
1416
01:15:08,000 --> 01:15:09,228
(INDISTINCT TALKING)
1417
01:15:09,320 --> 01:15:10,833
That was a bomb.
1418
01:15:11,040 --> 01:15:12,040
(CLAMORING)
1419
01:15:12,640 --> 01:15:13,914
KIM: Hello! So, wait!
1420
01:15:14,000 --> 01:15:16,434
- Who is fronting the show?
- (WAILING)
1421
01:15:16,520 --> 01:15:18,351
Tucker? No, I don't know who that is.
1422
01:15:18,440 --> 01:15:21,750
Okay, well, I could go live
for the overnights, but this is...
1423
01:15:21,840 --> 01:15:25,071
"Satellite time?"
No, I have a dedicated feed.
1424
01:15:26,440 --> 01:15:27,839
Since when?
1425
01:15:28,000 --> 01:15:29,096
(ON PHONE) This is Tucker Wang.
1426
01:15:29,120 --> 01:15:30,269
This is Kim Baker.
1427
01:15:30,360 --> 01:15:32,828
Why am I being told that
I don't have a sat hookup?
1428
01:15:33,000 --> 01:15:34,831
TUCKER: Because you're on
the hourly plan now.
1429
01:15:34,960 --> 01:15:36,600
And either way, the show is full tonight.
1430
01:15:36,640 --> 01:15:37,834
No. Who is your boss?
1431
01:15:37,920 --> 01:15:40,309
I want to talk to this
Jerry whatever, Taub.
1432
01:15:40,480 --> 01:15:43,040
Okay, look, Jerry has
mentioned Afghanistan to me once,
1433
01:15:43,120 --> 01:15:45,016
and mentioned it to know why
the only good story to come
1434
01:15:45,040 --> 01:15:46,776
out of there in a year
was on another network.
1435
01:15:46,800 --> 01:15:49,109
What, Tanya's thing?
No, I've got shit like that.
1436
01:15:49,200 --> 01:15:50,918
I'm waiting for the snow to melt!
1437
01:15:51,000 --> 01:15:52,433
I want to talk to Jerry.
1438
01:15:52,520 --> 01:15:54,176
TUCKER: If I could just get
you to get me a story
1439
01:15:54,200 --> 01:15:55,792
that somebody would care about,
1440
01:15:55,880 --> 01:15:57,438
it would be fine. But meanwhile...
1441
01:15:57,520 --> 01:15:58,576
Okay, what if I come to New York
1442
01:15:58,600 --> 01:16:00,636
and I burst into Jerry's office?
How about that?
1443
01:16:00,720 --> 01:16:02,536
Well, that might look
like I hadn't done my job.
1444
01:16:02,560 --> 01:16:04,391
Perfect. See you Wednesday.
1445
01:16:04,520 --> 01:16:05,520
Cunt.
1446
01:16:09,480 --> 01:16:11,357
- IAIN: Kim.
- (DOGS WHINING)
1447
01:16:12,480 --> 01:16:14,391
Kim, look at these dogs.
1448
01:16:15,640 --> 01:16:17,278
How does this end?
1449
01:16:17,360 --> 01:16:19,351
A bucket of cold water, I suppose.
1450
01:16:23,080 --> 01:16:24,080
No.
1451
01:16:24,160 --> 01:16:25,639
Um... (CLEARS THROAT)
1452
01:16:27,560 --> 01:16:29,073
How does this
1453
01:16:30,320 --> 01:16:31,548
end? (SIGHS)
1454
01:16:33,920 --> 01:16:37,071
Uh, I don't really know, Kim.
1455
01:16:37,920 --> 01:16:41,674
We grow old together?
Get a cottage in the country?
1456
01:16:41,760 --> 01:16:43,398
Raise chickens? (CHUCKLES)
1457
01:16:43,520 --> 01:16:45,112
Eat scrambled eggs off each other?
1458
01:16:45,240 --> 01:16:48,232
Look, we're good, aren't we?
We'll always have Kabul.
1459
01:16:48,320 --> 01:16:49,992
No, we won't. We won't "always have" it
1460
01:16:50,080 --> 01:16:51,274
because I have to go home.
1461
01:16:51,440 --> 01:16:52,998
No, this is home.
1462
01:16:53,080 --> 01:16:56,595
I have to go to
New York City and justify my life
1463
01:16:56,680 --> 01:16:58,671
to somebody named Jerry
1464
01:16:58,760 --> 01:17:01,115
before he takes it all away, and I
1465
01:17:02,840 --> 01:17:07,197
cannot go back to sitting
at a goddamn desk. I can't.
1466
01:17:07,520 --> 01:17:09,351
Aye. Listen...
1467
01:17:09,440 --> 01:17:11,670
No one can take it away from you.
1468
01:17:11,760 --> 01:17:12,988
Not all of it.
1469
01:17:13,120 --> 01:17:15,076
Whatever happens, you'll have me.
1470
01:17:15,600 --> 01:17:18,797
That's a very nice thing to say, but...
1471
01:17:18,960 --> 01:17:20,109
But what?
1472
01:17:32,000 --> 01:17:35,788
TANYA: Following a fatal traffic accident
involving a coalition truck,
1473
01:17:35,880 --> 01:17:37,108
long simmering frustration
1474
01:17:37,280 --> 01:17:40,795
today boiled over
into violence and despair.
1475
01:17:40,880 --> 01:17:42,313
They kill us!
1476
01:17:42,400 --> 01:17:44,391
They kill us and they break our hearts!
1477
01:17:44,480 --> 01:17:47,074
And I also give this message
to President Hamid Karzai.
1478
01:17:47,160 --> 01:17:49,549
What the hell is happening here?
1479
01:17:54,440 --> 01:17:56,476
(INDISTINCT ANNOUNCEMENT
OVERPA)
1480
01:18:03,480 --> 01:18:05,152
(INDISTINCT CONVERSATIONS)
1481
01:18:10,480 --> 01:18:12,536
Okay, I don't care
who the hell's in there. I'm Kim Baker.
1482
01:18:12,560 --> 01:18:15,074
Go on in, Kim. Jerry's expecting you.
1483
01:18:15,160 --> 01:18:17,594
Well, that's fucking unsatisfying.
1484
01:18:17,680 --> 01:18:18,999
Can I take your bag?
1485
01:18:19,080 --> 01:18:20,399
Yes. Please.
1486
01:18:21,520 --> 01:18:22,656
Would you care for some water?
1487
01:18:22,680 --> 01:18:23,680
Yes.
1488
01:18:34,920 --> 01:18:35,920
I should've Googled you.
1489
01:18:36,000 --> 01:18:39,549
I've been... I've been using all the
wrong swear words. (CHUCKLES)
1490
01:18:41,040 --> 01:18:43,110
Well, I hope
I didn't ruin your big moment.
1491
01:18:43,200 --> 01:18:45,953
Look, Geri, I don't know what
Tucker has been telling you.
1492
01:18:46,040 --> 01:18:48,429
He said that you're upset
about the air time you're getting.
1493
01:18:48,560 --> 01:18:51,836
That's just wrong,
because this is not about me.
1494
01:18:51,920 --> 01:18:53,956
My frustration is with our priorities
1495
01:18:54,040 --> 01:18:56,031
and what's best for the network.
1496
01:18:56,880 --> 01:18:59,394
Isn't deciding what's best
for the network my job?
1497
01:19:01,240 --> 01:19:02,559
I'm just saying,
1498
01:19:03,240 --> 01:19:05,595
as journalists, we have
an obligation to this story.
1499
01:19:05,680 --> 01:19:09,229
And Afghanistan should be
on our air more, period.
1500
01:19:09,320 --> 01:19:10,992
With the resources we have over there,
1501
01:19:11,080 --> 01:19:13,548
Afghanistan should
definitely be on our air more.
1502
01:19:13,640 --> 01:19:17,758
But the problem is,
as much as everyone loves the troops,
1503
01:19:17,880 --> 01:19:21,270
they don't actually want to watch
them on the news anymore.
1504
01:19:21,360 --> 01:19:22,509
They just don't.
1505
01:19:22,840 --> 01:19:25,638
So I can't give Afghanistan more air.
1506
01:19:25,720 --> 01:19:29,679
Which means I need
to give Afghanistan fewer resources.
1507
01:19:29,760 --> 01:19:32,228
That's what's best for the network.
1508
01:19:32,760 --> 01:19:34,159
- (KNOCKING ON DOOR)
- Geri...
1509
01:19:34,240 --> 01:19:35,240
You have that call now.
1510
01:19:38,360 --> 01:19:39,839
I'm not trying to be a bitch.
1511
01:19:39,920 --> 01:19:41,176
Okay, let me pitch you something.
1512
01:19:41,200 --> 01:19:42,496
All right, the Chinese
mining concession...
1513
01:19:42,520 --> 01:19:43,520
Jesus!
1514
01:19:43,600 --> 01:19:44,896
Look, the last person who got any kind of
1515
01:19:44,920 --> 01:19:46,512
bounce out of Afghanistan
1516
01:19:46,600 --> 01:19:48,352
was your friend Tanya Vanderpoel.
1517
01:19:48,440 --> 01:19:51,750
She's actually got me over a barrel
thanks to that drone story.
1518
01:19:52,240 --> 01:19:53,600
What do you mean, "over a barrel"?
1519
01:19:53,680 --> 01:19:55,033
She's London, Kim.
1520
01:19:56,760 --> 01:19:58,716
- You're hiring Tanya.
- Yes.
1521
01:20:00,200 --> 01:20:01,997
I assumed you two flew here together.
1522
01:20:03,960 --> 01:20:05,279
She's here.
1523
01:20:07,120 --> 01:20:08,269
(STUTTERS)
1524
01:20:08,360 --> 01:20:12,592
I'm sorry, you started
talking to her before the UAV strike?
1525
01:20:12,680 --> 01:20:14,193
Is UAV a drone?
1526
01:20:16,280 --> 01:20:17,474
Hello! Where are you going?
1527
01:20:17,800 --> 01:20:20,189
No, I'm only here for a few days.
1528
01:20:20,720 --> 01:20:22,199
Oh, I know.
1529
01:20:24,320 --> 01:20:25,389
Oh, fuck.
1530
01:20:26,040 --> 01:20:27,632
I don't know what to say to you.
1531
01:20:27,760 --> 01:20:29,796
Ducky, I'm sorry. I fucked up.
1532
01:20:29,880 --> 01:20:31,472
Did you go to the Tribals
1533
01:20:31,560 --> 01:20:33,240
because you were
in a contract negotiation?
1534
01:20:33,320 --> 01:20:35,470
Dude, I'm not stealing your job, okay?
1535
01:20:35,560 --> 01:20:38,393
Tanya, this is not about my fucking job.
1536
01:20:39,560 --> 01:20:41,232
We have to make good calls, right?
1537
01:20:41,320 --> 01:20:44,118
And now Andy lost an eye
and Jaweed is dead.
1538
01:20:44,200 --> 01:20:46,839
Christ, man, we've both
fucking made mistakes!
1539
01:20:46,920 --> 01:20:49,992
No. Tell me you didn't go to the Tribals
because of a contract.
1540
01:20:51,120 --> 01:20:54,237
You would have done exactly what I did
if Jaweed had gone to you.
1541
01:20:54,320 --> 01:20:55,912
No. I'm not you.
1542
01:20:56,200 --> 01:20:57,200
(SCOFFS)
1543
01:21:02,480 --> 01:21:04,471
Do you remember your first embed?
1544
01:21:05,840 --> 01:21:07,831
You interviewed a young Marine?
1545
01:21:07,920 --> 01:21:08,920
Coughlin? Yes. What?
1546
01:21:09,000 --> 01:21:12,515
Yeah, well, after they aired your story,
1547
01:21:12,600 --> 01:21:16,752
where you used his soundbite
about not loading his rifle,
1548
01:21:16,840 --> 01:21:18,751
they sent him to Helmand.
1549
01:21:19,480 --> 01:21:21,471
And he got his legs blown off.
1550
01:21:22,440 --> 01:21:23,793
So I hear.
1551
01:21:29,440 --> 01:21:30,953
See you in Kabul.
1552
01:21:40,440 --> 01:21:42,032
(DOOR OPENING)
1553
01:22:01,160 --> 01:22:04,072
IAIN: (ON PHONE) I'm not really
surprised she chased the story.
1554
01:22:04,240 --> 01:22:05,958
That's what we do. That's what you do.
1555
01:22:06,040 --> 01:22:07,075
I would do it.
1556
01:22:10,080 --> 01:22:11,559
Sorry.
1557
01:22:11,760 --> 01:22:14,399
Goddamn it, I'm tired.
1558
01:22:14,480 --> 01:22:15,799
You booked your return yet?
1559
01:22:15,880 --> 01:22:17,736
'Cause you could come through
Glasgow if you wanted.
1560
01:22:17,760 --> 01:22:18,760
- I'll meet you.
- What?
1561
01:22:18,800 --> 01:22:20,518
No. What about Badakhshan?
1562
01:22:20,600 --> 01:22:22,113
Badakhshan, that will keep
1563
01:22:22,200 --> 01:22:24,668
because the fucking pass
is still snowed in.
1564
01:22:24,760 --> 01:22:27,513
I need that story. (SIGHING)
I need a hit, all right?
1565
01:22:27,600 --> 01:22:29,716
I need something
so that Geri doesn't decide
1566
01:22:29,800 --> 01:22:32,075
I'm more useful as
an ottoman in her fucking office.
1567
01:22:32,200 --> 01:22:35,112
What you need, Kim,
is some time out of the bubble.
1568
01:22:35,200 --> 01:22:37,589
You'd better get ready.
I'm fucking making love to you
1569
01:22:37,680 --> 01:22:40,592
to bagpipe versions of Sade songs.
1570
01:22:42,760 --> 01:22:44,034
Yeah, okay.
1571
01:22:44,120 --> 01:22:45,917
Really? You'll meet me in Glasgow?
1572
01:22:46,680 --> 01:22:49,194
Yeah, I'll meet you in Glasgow.
1573
01:22:49,280 --> 01:22:50,918
- I'll get the next flight.
- Okay.
1574
01:22:51,280 --> 01:22:53,271
- Bye.
- Bye.
1575
01:23:02,960 --> 01:23:04,109
IAIN: Hey, Antoine.
1576
01:23:04,200 --> 01:23:07,078
Where have you come from?
I thought you were in Badakhshan.
1577
01:23:07,480 --> 01:23:10,313
I was. Drove back overnight.
1578
01:23:10,400 --> 01:23:12,277
Wait, what? The pass is open?
1579
01:23:12,360 --> 01:23:14,237
Oui. For now.
1580
01:23:18,720 --> 01:23:20,597
(INDISTINCT CHATTER)
1581
01:23:28,400 --> 01:23:29,469
IAIN: Cheers.
1582
01:23:29,840 --> 01:23:30,840
(REPLIES IN FRENCH)
1583
01:23:47,480 --> 01:23:49,232
(INDISTINCT CHATTER)
1584
01:23:50,840 --> 01:23:52,159
Oh, Christ. (CLEARS THROAT)
1585
01:23:53,760 --> 01:23:54,988
(CONVERSING IN DARI)
1586
01:23:55,200 --> 01:23:56,235
Excuse me.
1587
01:23:58,040 --> 01:23:59,109
Kunduz near?
1588
01:23:59,480 --> 01:24:00,515
Far?
1589
01:24:05,800 --> 01:24:08,234
I'd like to rent a car.
1590
01:24:09,760 --> 01:24:10,795
- Mmm-hmm.
- (LAUGHS)
1591
01:24:11,120 --> 01:24:13,031
(SPEAKING DARI)
1592
01:24:14,440 --> 01:24:15,793
Aye, thank you.
1593
01:24:15,920 --> 01:24:18,354
Yeah, I get it. Thank you. Thanks a lot.
1594
01:24:21,480 --> 01:24:22,754
(IAIN CLEARS THROAT)
1595
01:24:24,360 --> 01:24:25,998
(INDISTINCT YELLING)
1596
01:24:29,720 --> 01:24:31,836
(THUDDING)
1597
01:24:32,600 --> 01:24:34,670
(YELLING CONTINUES)
1598
01:24:42,640 --> 01:24:44,312
Oh, Jesus.
1599
01:24:44,880 --> 01:24:46,552
Oh, shit.
1600
01:24:46,880 --> 01:24:49,235
(MEN YELLING IN DARI)
1601
01:24:55,560 --> 01:24:57,915
PILOT: (ON PA) Welcome to
Glasgow International Airport.
1602
01:24:58,880 --> 01:25:01,838
Outside temperature's
18 degrees Celsius.
1603
01:25:01,920 --> 01:25:03,990
- Local time is 15 hours.
- (CELL PHONE CHIMING)
1604
01:25:04,080 --> 01:25:06,913
There will be an airline representative
to assist you to your luggage.
1605
01:25:07,000 --> 01:25:09,116
Once again, thank you
for flying with us...
1606
01:25:10,480 --> 01:25:11,993
Oh, my God.
1607
01:25:24,520 --> 01:25:25,840
KIM: Leaving a message for Susan.
1608
01:25:25,880 --> 01:25:28,030
Woodward, I'm back in Kabul again.
1609
01:25:28,120 --> 01:25:29,416
I'm trying to get information about
1610
01:25:29,440 --> 01:25:30,736
the disappearance of Iain MacKelpie,
1611
01:25:30,760 --> 01:25:32,910
so if someone at Reuters
can please call me back.
1612
01:25:33,000 --> 01:25:34,856
Call to let me know
that you've received this message.
1613
01:25:34,880 --> 01:25:36,074
Thank you.
1614
01:25:41,080 --> 01:25:43,116
(DARI ANNOUNCEMENT ON PA)
1615
01:25:53,120 --> 01:25:55,350
KIM: Who kidnaps a Scottish
freelance photographer?
1616
01:25:55,440 --> 01:25:57,590
The whole point of kidnapping
is to get money, right?
1617
01:25:57,680 --> 01:25:58,874
As far as I understand,
1618
01:25:58,960 --> 01:26:00,936
Iain was just in the wrong place
at the wrong time.
1619
01:26:00,960 --> 01:26:03,758
Can this half-assed country
not even do kidnapping right?
1620
01:26:03,840 --> 01:26:06,832
ISAF does not think
this was an upper-tier organization.
1621
01:26:06,920 --> 01:26:09,718
So these men will
probably try to sell him to someone else.
1622
01:26:09,800 --> 01:26:12,951
And then there
will be some talking, you know.
1623
01:26:13,040 --> 01:26:15,349
Oh, my God, Fahim.
They're gonna kill him.
1624
01:26:16,000 --> 01:26:17,752
No, they will not, Kim,
1625
01:26:17,840 --> 01:26:19,239
inshallah.
1626
01:26:21,520 --> 01:26:24,796
Now is when you're supposed
to say "I told you so."
1627
01:26:32,160 --> 01:26:33,275
(GOAT BLEATING)
1628
01:26:34,560 --> 01:26:35,834
TERRY: Fuck!
1629
01:26:44,040 --> 01:26:47,350
FAHIM: Ramadan has ended.
They are slaughtering lambs.
1630
01:26:54,360 --> 01:26:55,634
(SIGHING)
1631
01:27:07,360 --> 01:27:08,429
May I speak with him?
1632
01:27:08,560 --> 01:27:09,560
The general's busy.
1633
01:27:13,520 --> 01:27:15,511
Really, General? The elliptical?
1634
01:27:16,040 --> 01:27:17,837
I have bad knees.
1635
01:27:20,200 --> 01:27:23,272
I'm guessing you didn't come here
for the smell of balls.
1636
01:27:23,360 --> 01:27:25,316
Everybody get the fuck out!
1637
01:27:30,880 --> 01:27:32,711
They believe that he may have been sold
1638
01:27:32,800 --> 01:27:34,358
to another organization
1639
01:27:34,440 --> 01:27:36,271
somewhere in that same region.
1640
01:27:40,400 --> 01:27:42,595
That's a pretty big ask, Baker.
1641
01:27:44,240 --> 01:27:46,390
There's a real-time clock on this.
1642
01:27:48,000 --> 01:27:49,911
I'm sorry, I can't help you.
1643
01:27:53,880 --> 01:27:55,154
(KIM CLEARS THROAT)
1644
01:27:58,640 --> 01:28:00,756
You know, it's just a shame that
1645
01:28:00,840 --> 01:28:02,671
y'all don't get credit for all these
1646
01:28:02,760 --> 01:28:04,512
high-profile things that you do.
1647
01:28:04,600 --> 01:28:07,068
You know, especially with
SEALs and Delta out there.
1648
01:28:07,200 --> 01:28:08,496
I mean, what week
goes by that you don't see
1649
01:28:08,520 --> 01:28:10,829
those assholes on TV, am I right?
1650
01:28:12,240 --> 01:28:15,710
And then next time Congress
votes on a Pentagon budget
1651
01:28:15,800 --> 01:28:19,475
and there's this pesky little
10% line item for the Marines,
1652
01:28:19,560 --> 01:28:22,597
next thing you know,
you guys are just part of the Navy.
1653
01:28:22,680 --> 01:28:24,398
Although, sir, you would look spectacular
1654
01:28:24,480 --> 01:28:26,311
in one of those pretty white uniforms.
1655
01:28:31,160 --> 01:28:32,513
God, you know what?
1656
01:28:33,640 --> 01:28:36,029
It's just occurring to me
that, unlike JSOC,
1657
01:28:36,120 --> 01:28:38,315
you guys allow reporter embeds.
1658
01:28:38,480 --> 01:28:42,314
Which means that a cameraman
could go on a FORECON mission.
1659
01:28:42,960 --> 01:28:45,997
Don't you think that would be
great for the Corps, sir?
1660
01:28:46,480 --> 01:28:48,311
That kind of exposure?
1661
01:28:49,840 --> 01:28:51,353
Pretty good for you, too.
1662
01:28:52,960 --> 01:28:54,598
Look, we don't go in blind.
1663
01:28:54,680 --> 01:28:57,114
We have to know what we're doing
and where we're going.
1664
01:28:57,200 --> 01:28:58,599
It's the way we work.
1665
01:28:58,680 --> 01:29:01,353
We're not likely to get an address, but...
1666
01:29:01,440 --> 01:29:02,919
When you have something concrete,
1667
01:29:03,000 --> 01:29:04,353
come back and we'll get kinetic.
1668
01:29:10,320 --> 01:29:11,912
Ugh! (SPEAKS DARI)
1669
01:29:15,160 --> 01:29:18,914
Please tell Mr. Sadiq
that his "special friend" is here.
1670
01:29:19,000 --> 01:29:21,389
What can I get for you? Some tea?
The new PlayStation?
1671
01:29:21,480 --> 01:29:23,136
No, thank you.
I just need a moment of your time.
1672
01:29:23,160 --> 01:29:24,354
SADIQ: Ah.
1673
01:29:26,920 --> 01:29:28,512
We still friends, Sadiq?
1674
01:29:28,600 --> 01:29:31,672
Well, that is up to you, Kim.
1675
01:29:31,760 --> 01:29:33,591
Because you once told me
1676
01:29:33,680 --> 01:29:36,433
that nothing happens here
that you don't know about.
1677
01:29:36,520 --> 01:29:38,590
So you must know about my friend
1678
01:29:38,680 --> 01:29:40,716
Iain MacKelpie getting kidnapped.
1679
01:29:40,800 --> 01:29:41,880
I did hear about this, yes.
1680
01:29:41,960 --> 01:29:43,216
Yeah, well, everybody heard about it,
1681
01:29:43,240 --> 01:29:47,711
but a powerful man such as yourself
must actually know something.
1682
01:29:47,800 --> 01:29:49,916
Or your friend Pacha Khan
knows something.
1683
01:29:50,000 --> 01:29:51,274
Or his friend does.
1684
01:29:51,360 --> 01:29:52,509
Of course.
1685
01:29:52,640 --> 01:29:55,632
I could make some inquiries,
but I can only do this
1686
01:29:55,720 --> 01:29:57,870
for a very special friend.
1687
01:30:00,800 --> 01:30:01,800
(SIGHS)
1688
01:30:16,560 --> 01:30:19,393
I have a video that I think
you should watch, Sadiq.
1689
01:30:19,480 --> 01:30:21,994
You push the little triangle.
1690
01:30:23,160 --> 01:30:25,469
(LAUGHS) You can watch
video on the phone?
1691
01:30:29,240 --> 01:30:30,389
What is this?
1692
01:30:32,000 --> 01:30:33,911
It looks like the Attorney General
1693
01:30:34,040 --> 01:30:35,917
of the Islamic Republic of Afghanistan
1694
01:30:36,000 --> 01:30:37,274
dancing in the street
1695
01:30:37,400 --> 01:30:39,755
with a Western enemy of Islam
1696
01:30:39,840 --> 01:30:41,751
at a party where alcohol was served.
1697
01:30:42,840 --> 01:30:44,360
I've never touched alcohol in my life!
1698
01:30:44,440 --> 01:30:46,351
Well, I'm just saying how it looks.
1699
01:30:52,680 --> 01:30:54,238
(MAN YELLING INDISTINCTLY)
1700
01:30:54,360 --> 01:30:56,271
It's a good idea, right?
1701
01:30:57,280 --> 01:30:59,111
It's a great idea!
1702
01:30:59,920 --> 01:31:01,069
It's fucking ace!
1703
01:31:03,760 --> 01:31:05,273
Good on ya, Kim!
1704
01:31:07,160 --> 01:31:10,391
Let's go, load up!
Let's go, move, move, move!
1705
01:31:23,560 --> 01:31:26,199
You drink Tennessee whiskey,
Miss Baker?
1706
01:31:27,400 --> 01:31:28,400
Yeah.
1707
01:31:31,000 --> 01:31:32,513
Outstanding.
1708
01:31:43,560 --> 01:31:46,154
(MELLOW SONG PLAYING)
1709
01:32:20,120 --> 01:32:22,315
(MUFFLED GUNSHOTS)
1710
01:32:23,760 --> 01:32:26,035
(SONG CONTINUES PLAYING)
1711
01:32:51,040 --> 01:32:52,439
(MUFFLED EXPLOSION)
1712
01:32:52,880 --> 01:32:54,518
(MUFFLED GUNFIRE)
1713
01:32:56,280 --> 01:32:58,874
(MEN GROANING)
1714
01:33:12,680 --> 01:33:14,955
(INDISTINCT TALKING)
1715
01:33:19,680 --> 01:33:21,272
Tall Brian? What the fuck?
1716
01:33:34,600 --> 01:33:36,591
Hang tight, sir.
I'm gonna get you that ride.
1717
01:33:36,680 --> 01:33:38,113
Thank you. (CLEARS THROAT)
1718
01:33:42,520 --> 01:33:45,034
KIM: What happened
to the army, Dr. Brydon?
1719
01:33:46,760 --> 01:33:47,760
(SIGHS)
1720
01:33:47,960 --> 01:33:49,439
I am the army.
1721
01:33:54,600 --> 01:33:56,272
Thank you, Kim.
1722
01:33:56,360 --> 01:33:57,588
KIM: How are you?
1723
01:33:58,080 --> 01:33:59,229
I've had worse kidnappings.
1724
01:33:59,600 --> 01:34:00,600
(CHUCKLES)
1725
01:34:03,120 --> 01:34:05,360
ANCHORMAN: MacKelpie is being
treated for minor injuries.
1726
01:34:05,680 --> 01:34:07,352
Again, this incredible footage
1727
01:34:07,440 --> 01:34:09,317
was produced
by our very own Kim Baker.
1728
01:34:09,440 --> 01:34:11,715
Just incredible. Way to go, Kim!
1729
01:34:12,800 --> 01:34:16,429
If you want to kidnap
someone fucking twice,
1730
01:34:16,520 --> 01:34:17,520
you do a Toyota.
1731
01:34:17,600 --> 01:34:21,275
Fucking not as interesting as it got
when they fucking pulled out a burqa.
1732
01:34:21,360 --> 01:34:22,918
It's too fucking long for me!
1733
01:34:23,000 --> 01:34:24,656
I don't know who
the woman was it belonged to.
1734
01:34:24,680 --> 01:34:26,336
- I'm not fucking 6'2", right?
- (LAUGHTER)
1735
01:34:26,360 --> 01:34:29,318
I'm dragging this fucking thing along,
thinking the only consolation is,
1736
01:34:29,400 --> 01:34:31,516
at least if I'm a fucking woman,
1737
01:34:31,600 --> 01:34:34,319
I'm not gonna get buggered,
you know what I'm saying?
1738
01:34:34,400 --> 01:34:36,550
(LAUGHTER)
1739
01:34:41,000 --> 01:34:43,150
So anyway, I took
a little something, actually.
1740
01:34:43,240 --> 01:34:44,753
I went to the gift shop at Taliban.
1741
01:34:44,840 --> 01:34:46,068
I'm afraid all I could get
1742
01:34:46,240 --> 01:34:47,753
was that.
1743
01:34:51,880 --> 01:34:53,757
(LAUGHTER)
1744
01:34:55,440 --> 01:34:58,079
(INDISTINCT TALKING)
1745
01:35:01,680 --> 01:35:03,398
(BRUSHING TEETH)
1746
01:35:06,560 --> 01:35:07,913
(GRUNTS SOFTLY)
1747
01:35:11,840 --> 01:35:14,354
- It's a shame you're going.
- Hmm?
1748
01:35:14,520 --> 01:35:18,638
Well, I hope at least
they're flying you first class.
1749
01:35:18,720 --> 01:35:21,439
Geri doesn't like me that much.
But she does like me now,
1750
01:35:21,520 --> 01:35:23,750
so while I have this juice,
1751
01:35:23,880 --> 01:35:25,656
I've got to leverage it
into something better.
1752
01:35:25,680 --> 01:35:26,908
(SNAPS FINGERS) Yes!
1753
01:35:27,000 --> 01:35:28,274
Yes, wait, Iraq.
1754
01:35:28,360 --> 01:35:29,998
- I'll come with you.
- (LAUGHS)
1755
01:35:30,080 --> 01:35:32,878
No, actually, Pakistan.
That's where the real shooting shit is.
1756
01:35:32,960 --> 01:35:34,256
It's like the Wild West out there.
1757
01:35:34,280 --> 01:35:37,158
Actually, I told Geri
that I want New York or D.C.
1758
01:35:37,240 --> 01:35:38,593
(LAUGHING)
1759
01:35:42,440 --> 01:35:43,668
No, I did.
1760
01:35:44,960 --> 01:35:46,359
No, really, where are you going?
1761
01:35:46,440 --> 01:35:47,839
New York or D.C.
1762
01:35:49,920 --> 01:35:51,069
Why?
1763
01:35:52,680 --> 01:35:54,398
You can still come with me.
1764
01:36:00,960 --> 01:36:02,871
Because I think
there's plenty of good work
1765
01:36:02,960 --> 01:36:04,393
to be done in the real world,
1766
01:36:04,480 --> 01:36:06,516
and the Kabubble is well-established.
1767
01:36:06,640 --> 01:36:09,234
Is this about me going
to Badakhshan without you?
1768
01:36:09,320 --> 01:36:11,880
'Cause you would have done
exactly the same thing.
1769
01:36:11,960 --> 01:36:14,155
- And, hey, what, I forgive you!
- (KIM SCOFFS)
1770
01:36:16,920 --> 01:36:18,592
This is not about you.
1771
01:36:18,720 --> 01:36:21,359
It's not about Badakhshan, or Glasgow,
1772
01:36:21,440 --> 01:36:23,351
or the cottage with the chickens.
1773
01:36:24,480 --> 01:36:25,595
What chickens?
1774
01:36:32,720 --> 01:36:34,517
It's okay. I know you're not gonna come.
1775
01:36:38,920 --> 01:36:40,960
I just have to get out of here
before it's too late.
1776
01:36:42,400 --> 01:36:43,753
What do you mean?
1777
01:36:45,840 --> 01:36:47,990
I started to feel like this was normal.
1778
01:36:51,080 --> 01:36:52,911
You know it's not, right?
1779
01:37:10,240 --> 01:37:11,878
Come to New York and get it.
1780
01:37:13,160 --> 01:37:15,993
Remember, you're like a six
in Manhattan.
1781
01:37:37,360 --> 01:37:39,999
(INDISTINCT CHATTER)
1782
01:37:49,080 --> 01:37:50,593
How's your baby?
1783
01:37:51,360 --> 01:37:52,588
Which one?
1784
01:37:53,200 --> 01:37:55,111
- You have two?
- Yes.
1785
01:37:57,200 --> 01:37:59,111
- Irish twins.
- (LAUGHS)
1786
01:38:01,040 --> 01:38:03,679
No, they are very good.
1787
01:38:03,760 --> 01:38:06,513
The younger one, the boy,
he's very strong.
1788
01:38:06,680 --> 01:38:07,908
- Mmm.
- Mmm.
1789
01:38:08,280 --> 01:38:10,271
I bet the girl is strong, too.
1790
01:38:10,360 --> 01:38:11,713
She's stronger.
1791
01:38:41,080 --> 01:38:42,718
So, um,
1792
01:38:44,320 --> 01:38:46,709
those men in the hospital, the addicts...
1793
01:38:48,440 --> 01:38:50,476
Any of them ever get better?
1794
01:38:50,560 --> 01:38:53,233
Have a happy ending?
1795
01:39:04,840 --> 01:39:07,832
In my culture, we would hug.
(CHUCKLES)
1796
01:40:27,720 --> 01:40:28,720
(GRUNTS)
1797
01:40:32,680 --> 01:40:33,749
Hey.
1798
01:40:35,000 --> 01:40:36,831
COUGHLIN: You know,
I miss it. The Stan.
1799
01:40:37,440 --> 01:40:38,839
KIM: Yeah, I miss it, too.
1800
01:40:38,920 --> 01:40:40,990
Actually, I tried to go back
1801
01:40:42,040 --> 01:40:43,678
but even the Army wouldn't take me.
1802
01:40:44,360 --> 01:40:47,397
I mean, the Army!
I mean, that's just hurtful.
1803
01:40:47,480 --> 01:40:48,480
(BOTH CHUCKLE)
1804
01:40:50,600 --> 01:40:53,433
Well, I'm very sorry
for what happened to you.
1805
01:40:53,520 --> 01:40:56,353
So if there's anything
that you want to say to me,
1806
01:40:56,440 --> 01:40:57,440
that's why I'm here.
1807
01:40:57,800 --> 01:40:59,438
That's why I came here.
1808
01:40:59,840 --> 01:41:00,875
Ma'am,
1809
01:41:02,680 --> 01:41:06,195
I lost my legs because of an IED,
not because of you.
1810
01:41:08,480 --> 01:41:10,630
I appreciate that,
but if I hadn't quoted you,
1811
01:41:10,720 --> 01:41:13,029
- you wouldn't have been transferred.
- (LAUGHS)
1812
01:41:13,200 --> 01:41:14,976
No, really, you can say
whatever you want to me.
1813
01:41:15,000 --> 01:41:16,035
That's why I'm here.
1814
01:41:16,120 --> 01:41:17,496
Okay, well, then let's say you're right.
1815
01:41:17,520 --> 01:41:18,960
It's still not 'cause of you, ma'am.
1816
01:41:19,040 --> 01:41:23,238
Some 12-year-old haji
had to plant that bomb.
1817
01:41:23,320 --> 01:41:26,118
And, hell, you know,
if Bin Laden's parents
1818
01:41:26,200 --> 01:41:27,474
hadn't have gotten divorced,
1819
01:41:27,560 --> 01:41:30,472
maybe none of us would've been
in the Stan to begin with.
1820
01:41:32,400 --> 01:41:35,949
And the Taliban, they wouldn't
have even been there for UBL
1821
01:41:36,040 --> 01:41:38,679
if Brezhnev hadn't have gone
and fouled up Afghanistan
1822
01:41:38,760 --> 01:41:40,239
in the first place.
1823
01:41:41,160 --> 01:41:44,755
And the British Empire. Yeah.
1824
01:41:44,840 --> 01:41:45,989
And Kim Baker.
1825
01:41:46,080 --> 01:41:47,559
Okay, I deserve that.
1826
01:41:48,800 --> 01:41:51,109
(STAMMERS) Goddamn!
Once you got no legs,
1827
01:41:51,200 --> 01:41:53,031
everyone takes
everything so serious.
1828
01:41:53,240 --> 01:41:54,309
(COUGHLIN SCOFFS)
1829
01:41:54,400 --> 01:41:58,188
I mean, there's only so much
any of us have any control of,
1830
01:41:58,920 --> 01:42:01,514
good or bad.
1831
01:42:01,600 --> 01:42:04,751
If you didn't learn that in Afghanistan,
you were not paying attention.
1832
01:42:04,840 --> 01:42:07,070
So, you're not gonna yell at me?
1833
01:42:07,160 --> 01:42:09,469
(CHUCKLING) I mean, ma'am...
1834
01:42:11,280 --> 01:42:13,032
Kim, you've got to move on.
1835
01:42:14,520 --> 01:42:16,590
You're giving yourself
way too much credit.
1836
01:42:17,360 --> 01:42:19,271
You embrace the suck,
1837
01:42:20,440 --> 01:42:22,431
you move the fuck forward.
1838
01:42:28,560 --> 01:42:30,790
What other fucking choice do we have?
1839
01:42:34,640 --> 01:42:36,120
ELENA: Do I hear swearing over there?
1840
01:42:36,880 --> 01:42:39,394
How are you standing there
the one time I curse?
1841
01:42:39,480 --> 01:42:40,515
- "One time."
- I mean...
1842
01:42:40,600 --> 01:42:41,715
It's true. He had a good
1843
01:42:41,800 --> 01:42:42,856
- long run in the military.
- (COUGHLIN LAUGHS)
1844
01:42:42,880 --> 01:42:44,518
ELENA: Don't cover up for him.
1845
01:42:45,240 --> 01:42:46,456
So, Kim, are you gonna stay for dinner?
1846
01:42:46,480 --> 01:42:48,232
Of course she will.
1847
01:43:00,160 --> 01:43:03,391
(INDISTINCT TALKING)
1848
01:43:09,160 --> 01:43:10,309
Bye!
1849
01:43:11,240 --> 01:43:14,437
- Say bye to Kim. Bye, Kim!
- Say bye.
1850
01:43:34,520 --> 01:43:37,034
KIM: Colonel, the Afghan
National Army missed
1851
01:43:37,120 --> 01:43:38,640
yet another benchmark
for preparedness.
1852
01:43:38,680 --> 01:43:41,717
How do you think that will
affect our draw down in the region?
1853
01:43:41,800 --> 01:43:44,176
There needs to be a revision to the
previously announced draw down
1854
01:43:44,200 --> 01:43:46,236
or our future exit strategy.
1855
01:43:46,320 --> 01:43:47,400
Thank you, Colonel Roberts.
1856
01:43:47,440 --> 01:43:48,440
Thank you. My pleasure.
1857
01:43:48,560 --> 01:43:50,994
Coming up, a look at the war on terror
1858
01:43:51,080 --> 01:43:53,719
that's close to home
for those of us who cover it.
1859
01:43:53,800 --> 01:43:55,711
From London,
I'll be joined by award-winning
1860
01:43:55,800 --> 01:43:57,756
combat photographer, Iain MacKelpie.
1861
01:43:57,840 --> 01:43:59,637
His new book, Conflict Zone,
1862
01:43:59,720 --> 01:44:01,676
chronicles a decade spent working
1863
01:44:01,760 --> 01:44:03,637
in the Middle East and Afghanistan.
1864
01:44:03,720 --> 01:44:05,472
That's when we return.
1865
01:44:05,560 --> 01:44:08,154
DIRECTOR: And we're clear. Back in 40.
1866
01:44:08,240 --> 01:44:09,240
Hi, Iain.
1867
01:44:09,320 --> 01:44:11,311
Hi. Was I supposed
to say something then
1868
01:44:11,400 --> 01:44:12,680
- when you introduced me?
- Nope.
1869
01:44:12,720 --> 01:44:15,917
Nope. Just sit up, smile.
1870
01:44:17,360 --> 01:44:19,112
I can't smile. My face feels weird.
1871
01:44:19,240 --> 01:44:21,310
No, you're fine. You look good.
1872
01:44:21,400 --> 01:44:22,833
Thank you for coming on the show.
1873
01:44:22,920 --> 01:44:24,240
No, please. Thanks for having me.
1874
01:44:24,320 --> 01:44:26,311
- I got it. Okay, yeah. Got it.
- (CLEARS THROAT)
1875
01:44:27,240 --> 01:44:29,296
You know, they got me
on this book tour at the moment.
1876
01:44:29,320 --> 01:44:30,776
I'm gonna be in New York
at the end of the month,
1877
01:44:30,800 --> 01:44:32,392
if you'd fancy a coffee.
1878
01:44:33,240 --> 01:44:37,233
DIRECTOR: We're back
in five, four, three...