1 00:00:48,000 --> 00:00:50,953 (SCREAMING) 2 00:00:52,003 --> 00:00:55,168 (THUDDING FOOTSTEPS) 3 00:01:01,719 --> 00:01:04,635 (DEEP LAUGHTER) Uh huh huh huh... 4 00:01:11,350 --> 00:01:15,181 This is cool. Uh huh huh... 5 00:01:18,939 --> 00:01:21,311 Ow. Cut it out, butt-hole. 6 00:01:25,194 --> 00:01:26,569 BUTT-HEAD: Whoa! 7 00:01:26,695 --> 00:01:27,774 Aah! 8 00:01:27,821 --> 00:01:29,979 Uh huh huh huh... 9 00:01:32,158 --> 00:01:34,992 Uh, hey, baby. Uh huh. 10 00:01:35,035 --> 00:01:37,870 I'm, like, pretty tall. Uh huh huh... 11 00:01:37,913 --> 00:01:41,031 Damn it, cut it out. I'm trying to score. 12 00:01:43,541 --> 00:01:45,415 Nah! Yah! 13 00:01:51,255 --> 00:01:53,925 Look at you, you bung-holes. 14 00:01:53,966 --> 00:01:55,376 Uh huh... 15 00:01:55,467 --> 00:01:58,301 Hey, baby, how's it goin'? 16 00:01:58,344 --> 00:02:01,629 - Hey! - No way, Beavis. I saw her first. 17 00:02:01,680 --> 00:02:04,005 Damn it. I'm gonna kick your ass. 18 00:02:04,057 --> 00:02:07,341 Damn it, Beavis. I saw her first. Get outta here. 19 00:02:08,685 --> 00:02:09,764 Hey, Butt-head. 20 00:02:12,438 --> 00:02:14,513 Butt-head! Wake up! 21 00:02:16,566 --> 00:02:18,807 Uh... uh... Damn it, Beavis, 22 00:02:18,859 --> 00:02:21,018 I was about to score. 23 00:02:21,070 --> 00:02:23,275 But check it out. It's gone. 24 00:02:23,321 --> 00:02:26,356 - Mm mm mm... - Uh... What? 25 00:02:26,406 --> 00:02:31,233 - The TV! Mm mm mm... - Uh... Oh, yeah. 26 00:02:31,327 --> 00:02:34,659 Uh huh huh... Well, where is it? 27 00:02:34,704 --> 00:02:38,653 I don't know. I just woke up and it was gone. 28 00:02:40,668 --> 00:02:42,743 And look, the window's broken. 29 00:02:43,753 --> 00:02:47,002 We'll get 100 bucks for this. Heh heh heh. 30 00:02:47,839 --> 00:02:51,172 - No... - Hmm. Uh huh huh huh... 31 00:02:51,217 --> 00:02:53,008 - Uhh... - Oh, no... 32 00:02:55,554 --> 00:02:57,012 - Ohh... - Uhh... 33 00:02:57,097 --> 00:02:59,302 Uh huh huh huh... 34 00:02:59,348 --> 00:03:01,720 - Ohh... - Uhh... 35 00:03:02,059 --> 00:03:05,094 Uh huh huh... Uhh... 36 00:03:06,728 --> 00:03:09,599 I think I just figured something out, Beavis. 37 00:03:09,648 --> 00:03:12,399 W-w-what? Mm mm, heh... 38 00:03:12,441 --> 00:03:14,563 This sucks. Uh huh huh... 39 00:03:14,609 --> 00:03:18,357 Yeah, it really sucks. Heh heh heh... 40 00:03:18,404 --> 00:03:21,855 This sucks more than anything that has ever sucked before. 41 00:03:21,907 --> 00:03:25,240 We must find this butt-hole that took our TV. 42 00:03:25,285 --> 00:03:26,482 Yeah. Yeah! 43 00:03:29,162 --> 00:03:31,237 (SEVENTIES FUNKY GUITAR) 44 00:03:47,009 --> 00:03:51,504 # ISAAC HAYES: A couple of mean guys with fire in their eyes 45 00:03:51,554 --> 00:03:52,834 # Known by the names of 46 00:03:52,889 --> 00:03:55,557 # CHORUS: Beavis and Butt-head! 47 00:03:55,599 --> 00:03:57,093 # ISAAC HAYES: Yeah 48 00:03:59,643 --> 00:04:03,474 # They'll chew you up and spit you out, beyond a doubt 49 00:04:03,521 --> 00:04:04,766 # It pays not to mess with 50 00:04:04,814 --> 00:04:06,770 # CHORUS: Beavis and Butt-head! 51 00:04:07,274 --> 00:04:09,313 # ISAAC HAYES: You got it 52 00:04:15,739 --> 00:04:19,866 # If you cross Beavis and Butt-head 53 00:04:19,909 --> 00:04:23,359 # They will throw down and blow your ass away 54 00:04:25,121 --> 00:04:26,947 # Y'know what I'm sayin'? 55 00:04:26,997 --> 00:04:28,788 # Beavis and Butt-head! 56 00:04:37,505 --> 00:04:39,627 # Beavis and Butt-head 57 00:04:39,840 --> 00:04:41,465 BUTT-HEAD: Huh huh huh... 58 00:04:48,680 --> 00:04:51,633 # Ahh, yes 59 00:05:12,114 --> 00:05:13,941 It's not in here. 60 00:05:14,991 --> 00:05:17,399 What are we gonna do, Butt-head? 61 00:05:17,452 --> 00:05:21,864 - What if we never find it? - Settle down, Beavis. 62 00:05:25,166 --> 00:05:30,953 Wait a minute. I don't wanna go to school. We gotta find our TV. 63 00:05:31,003 --> 00:05:35,997 Shut up, Beavis. I got an idea. Uh huh huh huh... 64 00:05:36,174 --> 00:05:39,708 Let's just wheel this thing back to the house. 65 00:05:39,760 --> 00:05:41,302 Uh huh... yeah. 66 00:05:45,807 --> 00:05:49,673 Uh, hey, excuse me, boys. What's going on here? 67 00:05:49,726 --> 00:05:52,098 Someone stole our TV. 68 00:05:52,144 --> 00:05:55,429 We're just gonna use this one. Get outta the way. 69 00:05:55,480 --> 00:06:00,271 I'm afraid that TV belongs to the school, mm-kay? 70 00:06:00,317 --> 00:06:04,314 This could be a really positive experience for you guys. 71 00:06:04,362 --> 00:06:07,030 There's a wonderful and exciting world out there 72 00:06:07,072 --> 00:06:10,654 when we discover that we don't need TV to entertain us. 73 00:06:12,034 --> 00:06:14,987 He said anus. Uh huh huh huh... 74 00:06:15,036 --> 00:06:18,156 Entertain us... anus. Oh, yeah. 75 00:06:18,206 --> 00:06:21,788 Have you guys heard a word I've said? 76 00:06:21,834 --> 00:06:24,834 Uh, yeah. Anus. 77 00:06:24,878 --> 00:06:27,961 Yeah, yeah. Heh heh... Yeah, I heard it, too. 78 00:06:28,005 --> 00:06:33,164 Look, guys, just take the TV back to the A/V room right now. 79 00:06:33,217 --> 00:06:37,925 And try to be a little more open to life experiences, mm-kay? 80 00:06:39,638 --> 00:06:41,180 What a dork. 81 00:06:43,683 --> 00:06:45,058 Get it over here... 82 00:06:47,811 --> 00:06:48,842 Ow. No! 83 00:06:51,814 --> 00:06:53,771 - Aah! - That was cool. 84 00:06:53,816 --> 00:06:57,267 - No, it wasn't. - Uh... oh, yeah. 85 00:06:59,695 --> 00:07:01,652 Uh, what's going on out here? 86 00:07:01,697 --> 00:07:03,570 Oh, no! 87 00:07:03,615 --> 00:07:05,572 Uh, that belongs to the school. 88 00:07:05,617 --> 00:07:08,285 It's supposed to be in the A/V room. 89 00:07:08,327 --> 00:07:10,947 - Wasn't our fault. - Get back here! 90 00:07:10,995 --> 00:07:13,782 Beavis and Butt-head, you're both expelled! 91 00:07:14,831 --> 00:07:15,862 Cool. 92 00:07:19,668 --> 00:07:24,080 Whoa, check it out, Beavis. I didn't know Anderson had a camper. 93 00:07:24,130 --> 00:07:26,206 Yeah. Maybe it has a TV. 94 00:07:29,718 --> 00:07:33,335 Oh, hello. Are you boys here to look at the refrigerator? 95 00:07:33,387 --> 00:07:35,011 Uhh, no. 96 00:07:35,889 --> 00:07:38,178 We're here to look at the TV. 97 00:07:38,725 --> 00:07:42,010 Tom didn't tell me it was broken. Go on in. 98 00:07:42,144 --> 00:07:44,717 - Cool. - Heh heh heh. 99 00:07:46,564 --> 00:07:48,520 Well, that ought to hold her. 100 00:07:48,565 --> 00:07:52,514 You know, the most important thing you can have on a camper 101 00:07:52,568 --> 00:07:54,608 is a good butane regulator, 102 00:07:54,654 --> 00:07:57,322 and this here's the best one they make. 103 00:07:57,364 --> 00:07:59,770 I hope we can fix that fridge. 104 00:07:59,824 --> 00:08:03,690 Marcy, we've been plannin' for this trip our whole lives... 105 00:08:03,743 --> 00:08:06,863 - And we're gonna go... - Da-da-da... 106 00:08:06,912 --> 00:08:08,951 What in the hell is that? 107 00:08:08,997 --> 00:08:11,784 Dah... dah... da-da-dah 108 00:08:11,833 --> 00:08:15,532 Ah, must be them damn buzzard hawks. 109 00:08:15,585 --> 00:08:17,993 Let's get something to drink. 110 00:08:21,632 --> 00:08:22,663 Ahh. 111 00:08:24,801 --> 00:08:27,505 Aah! This crap is warm. 112 00:08:27,553 --> 00:08:29,841 Beavis, you butt-hole, you broke it. 113 00:08:29,888 --> 00:08:33,221 Aah, no, no, damn it! 114 00:08:35,016 --> 00:08:37,305 Hey, what the hell's goin' on here? 115 00:08:37,352 --> 00:08:41,645 - They're here to fix the TV. - What? The TV ain't broken. 116 00:08:41,689 --> 00:08:43,265 Uh... yeah, it is. 117 00:08:43,314 --> 00:08:45,722 Yeah. Heh... heh heh... 118 00:08:45,775 --> 00:08:47,185 Hey, wait a minute. 119 00:08:47,234 --> 00:08:50,069 You two look kind of familiar. 120 00:08:50,112 --> 00:08:54,358 Ain't you them kids that have been whackin' off in my tool shed? 121 00:08:54,407 --> 00:08:55,437 Uh huh huh... 122 00:09:01,036 --> 00:09:03,705 We still don't have a TV, Butt-head. 123 00:09:03,746 --> 00:09:05,122 I know, Beavis. 124 00:09:05,165 --> 00:09:08,118 And damn it, I can't sleep without a TV. 125 00:09:08,167 --> 00:09:09,661 BUTT-HEAD: Dumb-ass. 126 00:09:11,669 --> 00:09:13,745 H-help. Help me. 127 00:09:16,256 --> 00:09:17,880 No... no... 128 00:09:17,924 --> 00:09:19,583 What's your problem, Beavis? 129 00:09:19,633 --> 00:09:22,753 Uhh... I need TV. 130 00:09:22,803 --> 00:09:25,673 I need TV now! Damn it! 131 00:09:26,806 --> 00:09:30,055 Whoa. TV. 132 00:09:30,100 --> 00:09:33,551 Yeah, yeah. TV. Heh heh. 133 00:09:33,603 --> 00:09:35,890 TV! Yeah. 134 00:09:35,937 --> 00:09:37,977 Unh... unh... damn it. 135 00:09:38,023 --> 00:09:39,813 Uhh... no. 136 00:09:41,233 --> 00:09:42,348 Damn it! 137 00:09:47,738 --> 00:09:50,941 (COUGHING) 138 00:09:50,991 --> 00:09:53,944 You sure these guys can pull this off, Earl? 139 00:09:53,993 --> 00:09:56,565 It's gotta look like an accident. 140 00:09:59,955 --> 00:10:02,114 Ohh! Oh, yeah. 141 00:10:02,166 --> 00:10:03,363 Ohh... 142 00:10:03,416 --> 00:10:04,958 Uh huh huh... 143 00:10:05,001 --> 00:10:06,460 Ohh... 144 00:10:06,503 --> 00:10:10,334 Beavis and Butt-head, y-you little bastards! 145 00:10:10,380 --> 00:10:12,004 Can we watch your TV? 146 00:10:12,632 --> 00:10:16,759 No! Y-you're expelled. Now, get outta here! 147 00:10:18,053 --> 00:10:21,468 Wait a minute. Damn it! I need a TV now. 148 00:10:21,514 --> 00:10:23,173 We're missing everything. 149 00:10:24,265 --> 00:10:27,550 Yeah, hold on a minute. That must be them now. 150 00:10:27,601 --> 00:10:30,436 Yeah, I'll call you back. Come in! 151 00:10:30,479 --> 00:10:32,387 Ahh... 152 00:10:32,438 --> 00:10:34,514 TV. Yeah. 153 00:10:34,565 --> 00:10:36,356 You're late. (COUGHS) 154 00:10:36,399 --> 00:10:39,565 Really? Did we miss Baywatch? 155 00:10:44,739 --> 00:10:47,905 Earl said you guys were young, but, jeez... 156 00:10:48,534 --> 00:10:52,780 As long as you can get the job done. What are your names? 157 00:10:52,829 --> 00:10:55,947 Uh, Butt-head. Uh huh... 158 00:10:55,997 --> 00:10:59,282 Oh, I mean, Beavis. Heh heh heh... 159 00:10:59,333 --> 00:11:03,496 That's OK. I'd rather not know your names, anyway. Mine's Muddy. 160 00:11:03,545 --> 00:11:05,870 I'm gonna get right to the point. 161 00:11:05,922 --> 00:11:10,001 I'll pay you ten grand plus expenses, payable after you do her. 162 00:11:10,050 --> 00:11:12,801 Uhh... do her? 163 00:11:12,885 --> 00:11:14,261 That's right - do her. 164 00:11:14,303 --> 00:11:17,636 I'm offering you �10,000 plus expenses to do my wife. 165 00:11:17,681 --> 00:11:19,009 We got a deal? 166 00:11:19,057 --> 00:11:21,725 Um, actually, we just want to watch TV. 167 00:11:21,767 --> 00:11:23,510 Shut up, Beavis. 168 00:11:23,560 --> 00:11:26,514 Uhh... yeah, we'll do your wife. 169 00:11:26,563 --> 00:11:29,100 N-no! I wanna watch TV. 170 00:11:29,148 --> 00:11:30,606 Aah! 171 00:11:30,649 --> 00:11:32,641 Damn it, Beavis, you butt-munch. 172 00:11:32,692 --> 00:11:37,317 This guy wants us to score with his wife, and he's gonna pay us. 173 00:11:38,363 --> 00:11:40,355 We can buy a new TV. 174 00:11:40,406 --> 00:11:43,821 Heh heh. Really? Heh heh. Cool. 175 00:11:43,867 --> 00:11:48,362 Uhh, huh huh... we'll do it, sir. 176 00:11:48,412 --> 00:11:51,365 Well, all right, then. Let's get down to business. 177 00:11:51,414 --> 00:11:54,498 Here she is, boys. Her name's Dallas. 178 00:11:54,542 --> 00:11:58,870 She ain't as sweet as she looks. She stole everything from me. 179 00:11:58,920 --> 00:12:02,253 Watch out. She'll do you faster than you do her. 180 00:12:02,298 --> 00:12:05,666 Whoa. Uh huh... cool. 181 00:12:05,717 --> 00:12:07,045 Heh heh. Yeah. 182 00:12:07,093 --> 00:12:11,718 She's in her room in Vegas. I got you one next to hers. 183 00:12:11,763 --> 00:12:16,139 Your flight leaves in an hour. I'll drive you to the airport. 184 00:12:16,183 --> 00:12:17,926 Holed up. 185 00:12:17,976 --> 00:12:20,051 Uh huh huh... 186 00:12:20,102 --> 00:12:21,727 Hole. 187 00:12:21,771 --> 00:12:23,928 Can we watch some TV first? 188 00:12:25,857 --> 00:12:26,888 No. 189 00:12:27,608 --> 00:12:29,018 (TYRES SCREECH) 190 00:12:30,486 --> 00:12:33,320 Now, listen to me. This is real important. 191 00:12:33,362 --> 00:12:36,647 My wife's got this leather satchel. 192 00:12:36,698 --> 00:12:40,647 A black bag, this big. I need it back, boys. 193 00:12:40,701 --> 00:12:43,073 Sentimental value, you know what I mean? 194 00:12:43,120 --> 00:12:44,911 Any questions so far? 195 00:12:44,954 --> 00:12:49,331 Uhh, does she have big hooters? 196 00:12:49,374 --> 00:12:51,662 Heh heh. Yeah, she sure does. 197 00:12:51,709 --> 00:12:54,793 Uh huh... this is gonna be cool. 198 00:12:54,837 --> 00:12:58,003 Y-y-yeah. Boi-yoi-yoi-ing. 199 00:12:58,048 --> 00:12:59,589 Heh heh heh... 200 00:13:01,342 --> 00:13:02,753 You guys are funny. 201 00:13:02,802 --> 00:13:05,636 Let's have a drink on it, huh? 202 00:13:06,471 --> 00:13:07,929 (MEEEOW) 203 00:13:10,724 --> 00:13:12,301 (TYRES SCREECH) 204 00:13:13,392 --> 00:13:15,799 Now, don't let me down. 205 00:13:18,772 --> 00:13:21,178 We're gonna get paid to score. 206 00:13:21,232 --> 00:13:25,525 Yeah. Then we're gonna get a big-screen TV... 207 00:13:25,568 --> 00:13:27,690 with 2 remotes. 208 00:13:27,736 --> 00:13:30,654 Beavis, this is the greatest day of our lives. 209 00:13:31,656 --> 00:13:32,770 Yeah. 210 00:13:39,496 --> 00:13:40,906 Here you are. 211 00:13:42,456 --> 00:13:46,287 Hey, Beavis, she touched my butt. 212 00:13:48,419 --> 00:13:49,996 Hello there. 213 00:13:50,045 --> 00:13:53,330 Are you two headin' for Las Vegas? 214 00:13:53,381 --> 00:13:55,586 Yeah. We're gonna score. 215 00:13:55,632 --> 00:13:59,131 Oh. Well, I hope to score big there myself. 216 00:13:59,177 --> 00:14:01,846 I'm mostly gonna be doin' the slots. 217 00:14:01,887 --> 00:14:05,338 Yeah, yeah. I'm hoping to do some sluts, too. 218 00:14:05,390 --> 00:14:08,259 Do they have lots of sluts in Vegas? 219 00:14:08,308 --> 00:14:11,641 There's so many slots you won't know where to begin. 220 00:14:11,686 --> 00:14:14,603 Whoa. Hey, Butt-head, this chick is pretty cool. 221 00:14:14,647 --> 00:14:17,315 She says there's tons of sluts in Vegas. 222 00:14:17,357 --> 00:14:18,935 Cool. Uh huh... 223 00:14:18,984 --> 00:14:24,224 It's so nice to meet young men who are so well-mannered. 224 00:14:24,279 --> 00:14:27,482 I'm gonna have money and a big-screen TV, 225 00:14:27,532 --> 00:14:29,689 and there's gonna be sluts everywhere. 226 00:14:29,742 --> 00:14:34,118 - It's gonna rule. - Oh, that's nice. 227 00:14:34,162 --> 00:14:37,577 CAPTAIN: 'Look to the front of the cabin for safety instructions.' 228 00:14:37,622 --> 00:14:39,580 ATTENDANT: 'To fasten your seat belt, 229 00:14:39,624 --> 00:14:42,328 'insert the free end into the coupling... ' 230 00:14:42,376 --> 00:14:43,917 "Insert." Uh huh huh... 231 00:14:47,921 --> 00:14:49,380 Uhh... hmm. 232 00:14:51,425 --> 00:14:52,503 Damn it! 233 00:14:52,550 --> 00:14:53,713 Uhh... 234 00:14:53,760 --> 00:14:56,296 Hi. Can I help you with that? 235 00:15:01,140 --> 00:15:02,219 (CLICK) 236 00:15:02,266 --> 00:15:06,097 - There. All set. - I love you. Uh huh... 237 00:15:07,936 --> 00:15:11,270 Hey, cut it out. I want HER to do it. 238 00:15:11,315 --> 00:15:14,599 Uh huh... come to Butt-head. 239 00:15:14,650 --> 00:15:17,105 CAPTAIN: 'Flight attendants, prepare for take-off.' 240 00:15:17,152 --> 00:15:18,812 Nn! Damn it. 241 00:15:20,321 --> 00:15:23,654 Hey, wait a minute. What's going on? 242 00:15:25,825 --> 00:15:28,611 Aah! We're gonna die! 243 00:15:28,660 --> 00:15:30,949 Aah! We're all gonna die! 244 00:15:30,996 --> 00:15:32,869 Come to Butt-heaaaah... 245 00:15:40,544 --> 00:15:45,039 Uhh, could you, like, do that thing with my belt again? 246 00:15:51,220 --> 00:15:52,677 Yeah. This is her. 247 00:15:52,720 --> 00:15:54,796 Oh, she looks lovely. 248 00:15:54,889 --> 00:15:58,886 I'm probably going to make out with her first before we, uh... 249 00:15:58,934 --> 00:16:01,506 you know, heh heh, get down. 250 00:16:01,560 --> 00:16:04,477 I'm sorry. You have to speak up, son. 251 00:16:04,521 --> 00:16:07,522 I have this ringin' in my ears. 252 00:16:07,565 --> 00:16:11,644 My doctor says it could be related to my heart palpitations. 253 00:16:11,693 --> 00:16:14,896 Heh. Really? I poop too much. 254 00:16:14,946 --> 00:16:16,320 Ooh. 255 00:16:16,363 --> 00:16:20,775 Maybe you're lactose-intolerant. 256 00:16:20,825 --> 00:16:25,367 No, no. I poop too much! And then I get tired. 257 00:16:25,412 --> 00:16:29,740 Tired? Oh, well, I know all about tired, dear. 258 00:16:29,790 --> 00:16:32,956 I have just the thing for ya. 259 00:16:33,000 --> 00:16:37,827 Take a couple of these. They perk me right up. 260 00:16:37,879 --> 00:16:38,911 Thanks. 261 00:16:42,341 --> 00:16:46,041 Tastes like crap. What else ya got? 262 00:16:46,094 --> 00:16:49,509 Oh, go right ahead. Help yourself. 263 00:16:52,348 --> 00:16:54,471 (GROWLS) 264 00:16:55,309 --> 00:16:57,634 So, uhh, huh huh... 265 00:16:57,686 --> 00:16:59,513 goin' to Las Vegas? 266 00:17:04,315 --> 00:17:05,395 (SNORING) 267 00:17:09,987 --> 00:17:13,770 Yi-ai-ai-ai-ai-ai... 268 00:17:13,823 --> 00:17:15,650 (BABBLES INSANELY) 269 00:17:16,825 --> 00:17:19,150 Hi. We're serving dinner now. 270 00:17:19,202 --> 00:17:22,784 Our selections tonight are chicken piccata or seafood gumbo. 271 00:17:22,830 --> 00:17:25,949 - Piccata! Titicaca! - Does the gumbo have corn? 272 00:17:25,999 --> 00:17:29,782 I am Cornholio. I need piccata for my bung-hole. 273 00:17:29,835 --> 00:17:31,294 You'll have to wait. 274 00:17:31,336 --> 00:17:34,621 Are you threatening me? My bung-hole will not wait. 275 00:17:34,672 --> 00:17:36,331 Heh heh. Bungholio. 276 00:17:39,593 --> 00:17:43,257 Uhh, hey, I got a beer. 277 00:17:43,304 --> 00:17:45,094 Want some? Uh huh... 278 00:17:45,930 --> 00:17:47,010 I am Cornholio! 279 00:17:47,057 --> 00:17:48,598 Aah! Aah! 280 00:17:48,640 --> 00:17:50,680 Aah... 281 00:17:51,643 --> 00:17:52,971 (BABBLING) 282 00:17:55,188 --> 00:17:56,811 Get outta the cockpit! 283 00:17:56,855 --> 00:17:59,144 - Uh huh. You said... - Now! 284 00:18:05,695 --> 00:18:07,854 PA: 'Welcome to Las Vegas.' 285 00:18:08,864 --> 00:18:09,943 Uhh... 286 00:18:09,990 --> 00:18:13,026 This is Las Vegas? 287 00:18:13,076 --> 00:18:16,574 Yeah. I thought there'd be casinos and lights and stuff. 288 00:18:16,620 --> 00:18:18,494 This isn't very good. 289 00:18:20,456 --> 00:18:23,789 Hey, Butt-head, why is that guy holding a sign? 290 00:18:23,834 --> 00:18:24,913 Uhh... 291 00:18:24,959 --> 00:18:26,537 maybe he's blind. 292 00:18:26,586 --> 00:18:29,041 Uh huh. Check this out. 293 00:18:33,257 --> 00:18:37,171 Ahem. Excuse me. Heh heh. 294 00:18:37,219 --> 00:18:40,421 You guys know where I can find these guys? 295 00:18:41,472 --> 00:18:42,503 Oh. 296 00:18:44,100 --> 00:18:47,515 Uhh, Be-a... Be-ave? 297 00:18:47,560 --> 00:18:50,264 Um, Buh... Boo... 298 00:18:50,312 --> 00:18:52,553 Boot? Someone named Boot? 299 00:18:53,731 --> 00:18:55,475 This says Beavis. 300 00:18:55,900 --> 00:18:57,690 And Boot-head. 301 00:18:57,734 --> 00:19:01,945 Uhh... that's Butt-head. Don't you get it, Beavis? 302 00:19:01,987 --> 00:19:04,656 These dudes have the same name as us. 303 00:19:04,698 --> 00:19:06,986 Whoa, really? We should party. 304 00:19:07,033 --> 00:19:09,867 (SIGHS) This way, sirs. 305 00:19:11,453 --> 00:19:13,492 Where are those guys? 306 00:19:13,538 --> 00:19:15,945 Where the hell is he? 307 00:19:15,999 --> 00:19:18,286 You sure this is the right place? 308 00:19:22,837 --> 00:19:24,165 (COUGHS) 309 00:19:24,213 --> 00:19:25,457 You Muddy? 310 00:19:25,505 --> 00:19:27,083 What are you, cops? 311 00:19:27,132 --> 00:19:31,674 No. Earl sent us, you know, to take care of your wife. 312 00:19:31,719 --> 00:19:33,128 What? Take care... 313 00:19:33,177 --> 00:19:35,668 What the hell are you talkin' about? 314 00:19:35,722 --> 00:19:38,591 - Who were the other two clowns? - Huh? 315 00:19:38,640 --> 00:19:40,928 God damn it! She did it again! 316 00:19:40,975 --> 00:19:44,473 I'm going to Vegas to kill all three of them! 317 00:19:44,519 --> 00:19:48,979 I noticed your TV was broken. Wanna buy a new one? 318 00:19:49,023 --> 00:19:50,102 (TYRES SCREECH) 319 00:19:53,192 --> 00:19:56,027 Just leave it. Worthless piece of crap. 320 00:19:56,070 --> 00:19:59,319 Really, man. We gotta start stealin' from rich people. 321 00:20:01,991 --> 00:20:04,777 # RED HOT CHILLI PEPPERS: Love Rollercoaster 322 00:20:05,452 --> 00:20:09,318 # You give me that funny feeling in my stomach 323 00:20:12,707 --> 00:20:17,035 # Ah, shake it, yeah! That's right! 324 00:20:17,085 --> 00:20:18,912 # Roller coaster 325 00:20:18,962 --> 00:20:20,539 # Of love 326 00:20:20,671 --> 00:20:23,423 # Roller coaster 327 00:20:23,466 --> 00:20:25,338 # Hoo-ooh, ooh, ooh 328 00:20:25,383 --> 00:20:27,127 # Roller coaster 329 00:20:27,177 --> 00:20:29,215 # Of love 330 00:20:29,261 --> 00:20:31,550 # Roller coaster 331 00:20:31,597 --> 00:20:34,301 # Hoo-ooh, ooh, ooh 332 00:20:34,349 --> 00:20:36,009 # Your love is like 333 00:20:36,059 --> 00:20:38,430 # A roller coaster, baby, baby 334 00:20:38,477 --> 00:20:40,268 # I wanna ride 335 00:20:42,688 --> 00:20:44,727 # Your love is like 336 00:20:44,773 --> 00:20:46,812 # A roller coaster, baby, baby 337 00:20:46,858 --> 00:20:48,897 # I wanna ride 338 00:20:51,028 --> 00:20:52,984 # (RAPPING) 339 00:21:07,290 --> 00:21:08,700 # Roller coaster 340 00:21:08,749 --> 00:21:11,074 # Of love 341 00:21:11,126 --> 00:21:13,248 # Roller coaster, oh, yeah 342 00:21:13,294 --> 00:21:15,002 # Goin' round that curve 343 00:21:15,046 --> 00:21:16,872 # Roller coaster 344 00:21:16,922 --> 00:21:18,749 # Of love 345 00:21:18,799 --> 00:21:20,376 # Roller coaster 346 00:21:20,425 --> 00:21:23,674 # Gonna get down, my roll-roller coaster 347 00:21:23,719 --> 00:21:25,758 # Your love is like 348 00:21:25,804 --> 00:21:27,927 # A roller coaster, baby, baby 349 00:21:27,973 --> 00:21:30,048 # I wanna ride 350 00:21:32,309 --> 00:21:33,968 # Your love is like 351 00:21:34,018 --> 00:21:36,260 # A roller coaster, baby, baby 352 00:21:36,312 --> 00:21:38,387 # I wanna ride 353 00:21:40,482 --> 00:21:41,856 # Your love is like 354 00:21:41,899 --> 00:21:44,355 # A roller coaster, baby, baby 355 00:21:44,402 --> 00:21:46,192 # I wanna ride 356 00:21:48,363 --> 00:21:50,355 # Your love is like 357 00:21:50,406 --> 00:21:52,646 # A roller coaster, baby, baby 358 00:21:52,699 --> 00:21:54,442 # I wanna ride 359 00:21:56,827 --> 00:21:58,451 # Your love is like 360 00:21:58,495 --> 00:22:00,617 # A roller coaster, baby, baby 361 00:22:00,663 --> 00:22:03,035 # I wanna ride... # 362 00:22:05,875 --> 00:22:07,749 (ROOSTER CROWS) 363 00:22:10,421 --> 00:22:13,171 I'm sorry about that little misunderstanding, gentlemen. 364 00:22:13,214 --> 00:22:16,334 We didn't realize you were registered guests. 365 00:22:16,384 --> 00:22:18,672 If there's anything we can do to... 366 00:22:18,719 --> 00:22:20,129 Mm! Damn it! 367 00:22:20,178 --> 00:22:21,636 This thing is stuck. 368 00:22:21,679 --> 00:22:23,718 Uh, sir, it's attached to the... 369 00:22:23,764 --> 00:22:26,681 You dumb-ass. Let me try. Uh huh huh. 370 00:22:26,725 --> 00:22:29,760 Hey, check it out. That guy's still standing there. 371 00:22:29,810 --> 00:22:31,637 Ahem. 372 00:22:31,687 --> 00:22:35,351 Uhh... could you, like, not stand there and stuff? 373 00:22:38,608 --> 00:22:41,229 - Some people are dumb. - Yeah, really. 374 00:22:44,654 --> 00:22:47,821 Uhh... check it out, Beavis. 375 00:22:47,866 --> 00:22:49,525 I wonder where this goes. 376 00:22:51,410 --> 00:22:56,201 Uhh... huh huh. Whoa. I think I hear a chick. 377 00:22:56,247 --> 00:22:59,164 Really? Cool! Neat! 378 00:23:00,750 --> 00:23:01,948 Ow! 379 00:23:02,001 --> 00:23:05,784 All right, who are you? CIA, FBI, ATF? 380 00:23:05,837 --> 00:23:07,545 Hey, Butt-head, it's her! 381 00:23:07,589 --> 00:23:09,794 - Whoa! - Yeah! 382 00:23:09,840 --> 00:23:11,797 Uh... huh huh huh, hey, baby... 383 00:23:11,842 --> 00:23:15,625 Are we, like, gonna do it? 384 00:23:15,678 --> 00:23:17,136 You got 2 seconds. 385 00:23:17,179 --> 00:23:18,637 Uhh... huh huh... 386 00:23:18,680 --> 00:23:20,886 Is that gonna be enough time? 387 00:23:20,931 --> 00:23:23,968 - Who sent you? - Uh, this drunk dude. 388 00:23:24,018 --> 00:23:27,386 He said he was gonna pay us to do you. 389 00:23:27,437 --> 00:23:29,974 Muddy... Son of a bitch. 390 00:23:30,022 --> 00:23:32,773 Hold it. What's he paying you? 391 00:23:32,815 --> 00:23:35,271 Uhh... 10, uhh... 392 00:23:35,318 --> 00:23:39,564 10 grand? That cheap ass. 393 00:23:39,613 --> 00:23:42,150 I got a better deal. I'll double it. 394 00:23:42,198 --> 00:23:44,487 I'll pay you 20 to go back and do him. 395 00:23:44,533 --> 00:23:48,577 Uh, you want us to do a guy? No way. 396 00:23:48,620 --> 00:23:52,237 I don't know, Butt-head. That is a lot of money. 397 00:23:52,289 --> 00:23:55,622 We could close our eyes and pretend he's a chick... Aah! 398 00:23:56,417 --> 00:23:58,539 (SIRENS) 399 00:24:01,837 --> 00:24:02,869 DALLAS: Damn. 400 00:24:02,922 --> 00:24:04,795 You two wait right there. 401 00:24:06,007 --> 00:24:09,375 Uh... huh huh huh. I'm ready for love. 402 00:24:09,426 --> 00:24:11,419 Yeah! I don't believe this. 403 00:24:18,809 --> 00:24:19,840 Hmm. 404 00:24:22,228 --> 00:24:23,936 Yeah, Las Vegas. 405 00:24:23,980 --> 00:24:26,648 Give me the number for Dream America tours. 406 00:24:26,690 --> 00:24:27,769 Right. 407 00:24:27,816 --> 00:24:30,388 Uh huh huh. Uh huh huh. 408 00:24:30,442 --> 00:24:34,439 Yeah. You got a bus leaving today? Where's it going? 409 00:24:34,487 --> 00:24:36,361 Washington DC. 410 00:24:36,406 --> 00:24:40,533 5 minutes? Perfect. Give me 2 tickets. 411 00:24:40,575 --> 00:24:42,863 No way, Butt-head. You're always first. 412 00:24:42,910 --> 00:24:45,447 Damn it, Beavis, we've never done this before. 413 00:24:47,205 --> 00:24:49,529 Oh, uhh... huh huh... 414 00:24:49,581 --> 00:24:52,119 Wanna... you know... Uh huh huh... 415 00:24:52,167 --> 00:24:55,084 Do it? Heh heh. Hey, we're finally gonna score! 416 00:24:55,128 --> 00:24:56,242 Do it? 417 00:24:56,296 --> 00:24:57,409 BEAVIS: Ow! 418 00:24:57,462 --> 00:25:01,293 You guys wanna... score? Oh, ho ho. 419 00:25:01,340 --> 00:25:02,371 BEAVIS: Damn it! 420 00:25:02,425 --> 00:25:05,425 Ow! Cut it out! 421 00:25:05,468 --> 00:25:06,548 You wait here. 422 00:25:06,595 --> 00:25:09,760 - Bunghole! - Damn it! Ow! Aah! 423 00:25:09,805 --> 00:25:12,841 (PUNCHES) 424 00:25:15,810 --> 00:25:18,929 (RAPID BEEPING) 425 00:25:25,525 --> 00:25:26,556 Aah! 426 00:25:26,610 --> 00:25:28,483 Uh... huh huh huh. 427 00:25:31,780 --> 00:25:33,986 - Aah! - Uh... huh huh huh. 428 00:25:34,032 --> 00:25:35,407 No! 429 00:25:38,368 --> 00:25:40,325 Aah! Aah! Aah! 430 00:25:40,370 --> 00:25:42,445 DALLAS: Ahem! BEAVIS: Aah! 431 00:25:42,496 --> 00:25:47,157 Don't wear yourselves out, boys. Save some energy for me. 432 00:25:47,208 --> 00:25:51,336 - Uh huh huh huh. - Hm hm, heh heh. 433 00:25:51,378 --> 00:25:54,912 This is it, Beavis. We're finally gonna score. 434 00:25:54,964 --> 00:25:57,419 Heh heh... Thank God. 435 00:25:57,466 --> 00:26:00,004 Yeah. We're gonna do it, all right. 436 00:26:00,052 --> 00:26:03,301 - Uh, huh... Uh, huh... - Oh, yeah! Eh, heh... 437 00:26:03,346 --> 00:26:04,425 DALLAS: Ahem! 438 00:26:04,472 --> 00:26:07,804 Boys... boys... 439 00:26:07,849 --> 00:26:08,880 Boys! 440 00:26:10,935 --> 00:26:16,473 First, you have to do a little job for me. Would you like to? 441 00:26:16,522 --> 00:26:18,181 Here's what it is. 442 00:26:18,231 --> 00:26:23,355 I want you to take the bus to Washington. That's all. 443 00:26:23,402 --> 00:26:26,770 And when you get there, I'll be waiting. 444 00:26:26,821 --> 00:26:29,525 You're gonna make a whole lot of money, 445 00:26:29,573 --> 00:26:31,696 and I'm gonna give you everything. 446 00:26:31,742 --> 00:26:35,786 - Uh huh huh... - Hm, heh heh... 447 00:26:35,828 --> 00:26:39,161 Until then, keep your pants on. 448 00:26:40,123 --> 00:26:44,167 Now, your bus is downstairs waiting, so get going. 449 00:26:44,210 --> 00:26:46,961 - Uh huh huh... - Hm, heh heh... 450 00:26:52,174 --> 00:26:53,336 Let's go! 451 00:26:53,383 --> 00:26:54,960 On three! 452 00:26:56,970 --> 00:26:59,175 This is gonna be cool. 453 00:26:59,221 --> 00:27:01,130 Can't wait. Heh heh. 454 00:27:06,768 --> 00:27:08,013 Ow. 455 00:27:08,061 --> 00:27:10,812 Get outta there, Beavis. I want the window. 456 00:27:12,398 --> 00:27:14,935 Why don't ya take turns? 457 00:27:14,983 --> 00:27:18,351 Look, Butt-head. It's that slut from the plane. 458 00:27:18,402 --> 00:27:21,734 Oh, why, it's you two. 459 00:27:21,779 --> 00:27:24,021 How d'you do in Las Vegas? 460 00:27:24,073 --> 00:27:26,610 Um, we didn't score yet. 461 00:27:26,658 --> 00:27:29,326 Oh, well, I'm sorry to hear that. 462 00:27:29,368 --> 00:27:31,776 Me, I took a beatin'! 463 00:27:31,829 --> 00:27:34,449 Cool. 464 00:27:34,497 --> 00:27:37,331 So that's why I'm bussin' it across America. 465 00:27:37,374 --> 00:27:39,746 I'm so glad you're here. 466 00:27:39,793 --> 00:27:43,327 Jim, Jim! I want you to meet two nice boys. 467 00:27:43,379 --> 00:27:44,957 Uh... oh... 468 00:27:45,006 --> 00:27:48,338 This is Travis and Bob. What's your last name, dear? 469 00:27:48,383 --> 00:27:50,540 Uhh, Head. 470 00:27:50,593 --> 00:27:52,751 My first name's Butt. Uh huh huh. 471 00:27:59,391 --> 00:28:00,719 Agent Flemming, ATF. 472 00:28:00,767 --> 00:28:03,970 Are you gonna tell us where it is, 473 00:28:04,020 --> 00:28:06,973 or shall Agent Hurly give you another cavity search? 474 00:28:08,690 --> 00:28:10,100 Is that a promise? 475 00:28:10,149 --> 00:28:14,098 Look, Mrs. Scum, we know who you are. Tell her, Bork. 476 00:28:14,152 --> 00:28:16,857 Dallas Grimes, married to Muddy Grimes. 477 00:28:16,905 --> 00:28:19,608 You run a mom-and-pop arms smuggling ring. 478 00:28:21,365 --> 00:28:25,197 - Mmm. You got my bad side. - Three days ago, 479 00:28:25,244 --> 00:28:29,322 you pulled a job at the Army Research Facility in Hadley, Nevada, 480 00:28:29,371 --> 00:28:31,697 where you stole the X-5 unit. 481 00:28:31,749 --> 00:28:37,619 We know you had it when you checked in, so tell us where it is? 482 00:28:37,669 --> 00:28:38,998 You gonna charge me? 483 00:28:40,088 --> 00:28:42,045 I didn't think so. 484 00:28:42,089 --> 00:28:46,038 You wanna let me go, or wait till I file a wrongful arrest? 485 00:28:46,092 --> 00:28:51,334 We got nothing. We can only hold her another couple of hours. 486 00:28:51,388 --> 00:28:54,222 Damn it! Cut her loose. Where's that damn unit? 487 00:28:56,893 --> 00:29:00,308 BUTT-HEAD: Uh huh huh huh. We're in Washington. 488 00:29:00,354 --> 00:29:02,345 BEAVIS: Yeah, yeah. We're gonna score now. 489 00:29:02,396 --> 00:29:06,310 OLD LADY: Actually, son, we're at the Hoover Dam. 490 00:29:06,358 --> 00:29:09,275 BEAVIS: Um, no, no. We're in Washington! 491 00:29:09,319 --> 00:29:12,936 BUTT-HEAD: Yeah. We're gonna score now! 492 00:29:15,156 --> 00:29:20,150 Over 40,000 tons of concrete were used to build the Hoover Dam. 493 00:29:20,202 --> 00:29:23,534 From top to bottom, the dam is 51 stories. 494 00:29:23,579 --> 00:29:25,820 It has a maximum capacity for generating... 495 00:29:25,872 --> 00:29:28,542 - Wow. Really? - 2.074 Megawatts of electricity, 496 00:29:28,583 --> 00:29:31,500 but on average, it generates about 25% of that. 497 00:29:31,544 --> 00:29:32,919 BEAVIS: I'll be damned. 498 00:29:32,962 --> 00:29:36,793 Does anybody know how much energy it takes to power Vegas? 499 00:29:36,839 --> 00:29:39,127 Um, yeah, I just have a question. 500 00:29:39,174 --> 00:29:41,462 Is this a God dam? 501 00:29:41,509 --> 00:29:42,588 Uh huh huh. 502 00:29:42,635 --> 00:29:44,793 You know, God damn. You know? 503 00:29:44,845 --> 00:29:47,549 GUIDE: If you'll follow me this way. 504 00:29:47,597 --> 00:29:50,882 BUTT-HEAD: This is dumb. Let's go find that chick. 505 00:29:50,933 --> 00:29:53,305 Yeah. Enough of this crap. 506 00:29:53,352 --> 00:29:55,889 Whoa. Check it out, Butt-head. TV! 507 00:29:55,937 --> 00:29:57,312 Cool. 508 00:29:59,398 --> 00:30:02,896 I gotta hit the head. Can you get me some coffee? 509 00:30:02,942 --> 00:30:03,973 All right. 510 00:30:07,153 --> 00:30:09,193 Talk to me, Bork. 511 00:30:09,239 --> 00:30:10,946 A witness saw two teenagers 512 00:30:10,990 --> 00:30:13,693 leaving Dallas's room shortly before we arrived. 513 00:30:13,741 --> 00:30:16,114 Did he get a full cavity search? 514 00:30:16,160 --> 00:30:18,448 Uh... the witness? 515 00:30:18,495 --> 00:30:21,910 You can never be too careful, Bork. 516 00:30:21,956 --> 00:30:26,451 I didn't think it was necessary. We have a picture from the elevator. 517 00:30:26,501 --> 00:30:27,995 Here. Have a look. 518 00:30:28,044 --> 00:30:29,420 What the hell? 519 00:30:29,462 --> 00:30:32,379 They look like a couple of kids, Chief. 520 00:30:32,423 --> 00:30:34,794 Don't you know what kids are capable of? 521 00:30:34,841 --> 00:30:36,501 Don't you read the papers? 522 00:30:36,551 --> 00:30:37,712 What the... 523 00:30:39,761 --> 00:30:41,421 Damn it! 524 00:30:41,555 --> 00:30:44,223 All they have is these shows about water. 525 00:30:44,265 --> 00:30:47,300 Yeah, really. They need some shows about fire. 526 00:30:47,350 --> 00:30:52,889 - Uhh, what are you doing, Beavis? - Something's wrong with my butt. 527 00:30:52,938 --> 00:30:55,511 Your butt sucks. 528 00:30:55,565 --> 00:30:58,185 Hey, how come there's no sound? 529 00:30:58,233 --> 00:31:00,107 Uhh... I'll fix it. 530 00:31:02,069 --> 00:31:03,612 (ALARM BLARES) 531 00:31:03,654 --> 00:31:04,686 Uhh... 532 00:31:07,741 --> 00:31:10,445 Yeah, yeah! There you go. Louder! Louder! 533 00:31:10,492 --> 00:31:14,703 Uh, huh... Hmm... Huh huh... 534 00:31:17,415 --> 00:31:21,032 Mas... ter... a... 535 00:31:21,084 --> 00:31:24,287 Masturbation? Uh huh huh huh! 536 00:31:24,337 --> 00:31:26,328 (RATTLES AND WHINES) 537 00:31:33,968 --> 00:31:38,510 You know, I'll tell you what. It doesn't get any better than this. 538 00:31:38,555 --> 00:31:41,473 This here is God's country. Unspoiled and... 539 00:31:41,517 --> 00:31:44,386 Aaaaah! 540 00:31:44,435 --> 00:31:46,059 Uhh... 541 00:31:46,436 --> 00:31:48,808 I think I found the remote. 542 00:31:51,482 --> 00:31:53,439 What the hell's going on? 543 00:31:57,736 --> 00:32:00,772 (PANICKED SHOUTING) 544 00:32:00,822 --> 00:32:03,313 I swear, that's all I know. 545 00:32:03,366 --> 00:32:06,282 They got on a tour bus heading west. 546 00:32:06,326 --> 00:32:08,034 Uhh! Please... 547 00:32:08,078 --> 00:32:09,785 I'm gonna kill 'em! 548 00:32:12,331 --> 00:32:14,488 That was boring. 549 00:32:14,541 --> 00:32:18,288 Yeah, yeah. Just the same thing, over and over again. 550 00:32:18,335 --> 00:32:19,877 Uhh, wait a minute. 551 00:32:19,920 --> 00:32:23,252 We can't leave Washington till we find that chick. 552 00:32:23,297 --> 00:32:26,250 Oh, we're a long way from Washington, Bob. 553 00:32:26,299 --> 00:32:29,466 This is the Hoover Dam. 554 00:32:29,511 --> 00:32:32,345 Dam. I'll be damned. Heh heh. 555 00:32:38,183 --> 00:32:40,425 You boys better show up. 556 00:32:45,731 --> 00:32:48,684 - See that, Bork? - I don't get it. 557 00:32:48,733 --> 00:32:52,315 You got half the state after you. How do you get away? 558 00:32:52,361 --> 00:32:53,440 Cut the power! 559 00:32:53,487 --> 00:32:56,820 Damn right. We're dealing with pros here. 560 00:32:56,865 --> 00:33:00,279 My opinion - terrorists. What's the scoop on that stolen unit? 561 00:33:00,325 --> 00:33:04,239 Well, sir, it's not good. Roll the tape. 562 00:33:04,287 --> 00:33:07,868 The X-5 unit is a new top-secret biological weapon. 563 00:33:07,914 --> 00:33:11,247 A man-made virus, the deadliest known to man. 564 00:33:11,292 --> 00:33:14,208 It could wipe out five states in five days. 565 00:33:14,252 --> 00:33:17,621 Here's what happened when it was tested on army recruits. 566 00:33:18,881 --> 00:33:20,838 Look at these guys, Chief. 567 00:33:20,883 --> 00:33:24,714 This thing is a veritable Doomsday device. 568 00:33:24,760 --> 00:33:28,591 Jesus jumped-up Christ! If it falls into the wrong hands... 569 00:33:28,638 --> 00:33:30,048 It gets worse. 570 00:33:30,097 --> 00:33:33,513 The unit wasn't finished. It has a flaw - the casing. 571 00:33:33,559 --> 00:33:36,642 If hit hard, it could open, releasing the virus. 572 00:33:36,686 --> 00:33:40,268 As of now, these are the most dangerous men in America. 573 00:33:40,314 --> 00:33:45,140 I want these faces in front of every Fed and sheriff within 1,000 miles. 574 00:33:45,193 --> 00:33:47,943 The orders are dead or alive. 575 00:33:47,986 --> 00:33:50,772 Let's just pray that nothing hits that unit. 576 00:33:51,113 --> 00:33:52,144 Ow! Ow! 577 00:33:52,198 --> 00:33:53,277 Cut it out! 578 00:33:53,324 --> 00:33:56,739 Get outta the way. I wanna sit by the window. 579 00:33:56,784 --> 00:33:58,693 OK, people, next stop: Grand Canyon. 580 00:34:01,371 --> 00:34:03,992 # AC/DC: Gone Shootin' 581 00:34:23,971 --> 00:34:28,098 - Uh huh huh huh... - Hm hm, heh heh heh... 582 00:34:28,141 --> 00:34:30,548 Like, it's coming out of his ass, 583 00:34:30,601 --> 00:34:34,550 but it's, like, also coming out of the ass of the ass. 584 00:34:34,604 --> 00:34:38,601 It's like the poop's coming out of the ass of the ass. 585 00:34:38,649 --> 00:34:39,763 Heh heh. Yeah! 586 00:34:39,817 --> 00:34:42,057 # Feel the pressure rise 587 00:34:43,277 --> 00:34:45,685 # Hear the whistle blow 588 00:34:47,322 --> 00:34:50,939 # Bought a ticket of her own accord 589 00:34:50,991 --> 00:34:53,696 # To I dunno 590 00:34:55,411 --> 00:34:59,029 # Packed her heart in a travelin' bag 591 00:34:59,206 --> 00:35:01,697 # Never said bye-bye 592 00:35:03,292 --> 00:35:06,826 # Somethin' missin' in the neighborhood 593 00:35:06,878 --> 00:35:09,583 # Of her cryin' eyes 594 00:35:11,632 --> 00:35:15,711 # I stirred my coffee with the same spoon 595 00:35:15,760 --> 00:35:18,085 # Knew her favorite tune 596 00:35:19,263 --> 00:35:21,220 # Gone shootin' # 597 00:35:24,809 --> 00:35:29,386 RANGER: There are over 200 active geysers in Yellowstone Park. 598 00:35:29,437 --> 00:35:32,521 Old Faithful here is one of the largest. 599 00:35:32,565 --> 00:35:37,107 During an eruption, the water can reach as high as 200 feet. 600 00:35:37,152 --> 00:35:39,439 - So? - Hm hm, heh heh. 601 00:35:39,486 --> 00:35:41,230 Uh, the geyser 602 00:35:41,280 --> 00:35:47,031 shoots out over 12,000 gallons of water in a single eruption. 603 00:35:47,075 --> 00:35:48,617 That's not that much. 604 00:35:48,660 --> 00:35:50,782 Yeah, really. Let's get outta here. 605 00:35:50,828 --> 00:35:54,990 If you'll just step over here, the geyser is seconds away... 606 00:36:01,253 --> 00:36:03,375 Ooh, it's incredible. 607 00:36:03,421 --> 00:36:06,290 Oh, oh, yeah. That's amazing. 608 00:36:06,339 --> 00:36:08,498 It's incredible. 609 00:36:08,550 --> 00:36:10,009 (FLUSH) 610 00:36:10,051 --> 00:36:11,960 That's amazing. 611 00:36:12,011 --> 00:36:15,295 - Uh huh huh huh. - Hm hm, heh heh. 612 00:36:17,765 --> 00:36:21,050 - Uh huh huh huh. - Hm hm, heh heh. 613 00:36:28,023 --> 00:36:29,565 (SIGHS) Can't wait forever. 614 00:36:33,068 --> 00:36:35,737 Damn kids. No respect. 615 00:36:36,446 --> 00:36:38,023 Don't appreciate anything. 616 00:36:38,447 --> 00:36:39,989 Oh, my God! 617 00:36:40,032 --> 00:36:42,356 Wait! Stop! 618 00:36:42,408 --> 00:36:43,950 Darn it. 619 00:36:45,119 --> 00:36:46,577 Get me the police. 620 00:36:46,620 --> 00:36:48,659 - Uh huh. - Hm, heh. 621 00:36:48,705 --> 00:36:52,322 This is the coolest thing I have ever seen. 622 00:36:54,834 --> 00:36:58,617 We got 'em. They're on a bus on Highway 89. 623 00:37:01,340 --> 00:37:02,963 Ah... heh... yeah, that was great. 624 00:37:03,007 --> 00:37:04,038 Yeah. 625 00:37:10,013 --> 00:37:13,761 Uhh... is this the right bus? 626 00:37:13,808 --> 00:37:14,969 Um... heh heh. 627 00:37:16,559 --> 00:37:19,559 Uh huh huh huh. 628 00:37:19,603 --> 00:37:23,018 Hey, Beavis, we're on a bus with chicks. 629 00:37:24,982 --> 00:37:26,311 Hey, baby. 630 00:37:29,903 --> 00:37:33,520 - They're not on the bus. - These people know something. 631 00:37:33,572 --> 00:37:35,647 I want full cavity searches. 632 00:37:35,698 --> 00:37:38,901 - Everyone. Go deep on 'em. - Agent Hurly. 633 00:37:38,951 --> 00:37:42,650 I tell you, Bork, these guys are smart, damn smart. 634 00:37:42,703 --> 00:37:45,704 They're probably a hundred miles away by now. 635 00:37:45,748 --> 00:37:48,618 Uh huh huh. 636 00:37:55,463 --> 00:37:57,420 Butt-head, this book kicks ass. 637 00:37:57,465 --> 00:38:00,299 There's a talking snake, and a naked chick, 638 00:38:00,342 --> 00:38:03,710 and then this dude puts a leaf on his schlong. 639 00:38:03,761 --> 00:38:05,172 Cool. 640 00:38:05,972 --> 00:38:08,841 Uhh... uhh... 641 00:38:09,975 --> 00:38:11,088 Ow! 642 00:38:34,076 --> 00:38:37,029 - Uh huh huh. - Hm, heh heh. 643 00:38:38,954 --> 00:38:41,575 Check it out, Butt-head - porta-potties. 644 00:38:41,623 --> 00:38:45,916 Cool. I gotta take a dump. 645 00:38:45,960 --> 00:38:49,542 - Uh huh huh huh. - Hm hm, heh heh. 646 00:38:49,588 --> 00:38:52,125 BUTT-HEAD: Uhh... where's the toilet? 647 00:38:52,173 --> 00:38:54,165 (BELLS CHIME) 648 00:38:59,052 --> 00:39:02,006 Forgive me, Father. I've sinned. 649 00:39:02,055 --> 00:39:04,842 I slept with a woman, and, uh... 650 00:39:04,891 --> 00:39:08,424 BUTT-HEAD: Really? Uh huh huh. Was she naked? 651 00:39:08,477 --> 00:39:11,476 Well, yes, Father. Please forgive me. 652 00:39:11,520 --> 00:39:13,513 Cool! Uh huh huh. 653 00:39:13,564 --> 00:39:17,892 Could you, like, see her boobs? Uh huh huh huh. 654 00:39:17,942 --> 00:39:21,310 Uh, I'm sorry. How many Hail Marys? 655 00:39:21,361 --> 00:39:22,771 BEAVIS: A thousand! Heh... 656 00:39:22,820 --> 00:39:25,738 And I want you to hit yourself! Right now! 657 00:39:25,782 --> 00:39:28,735 - Uh, now? - Yeah... do it! 658 00:39:29,326 --> 00:39:31,780 Yeah! Harder! Do it again! 659 00:39:31,827 --> 00:39:34,069 (WHACK) Oww! Aah! 660 00:39:34,121 --> 00:39:37,454 - Uh huh huh huh. - Hm hm, heh heh. 661 00:39:40,000 --> 00:39:41,494 Heh... hm hm. 662 00:39:44,170 --> 00:39:45,997 RECORDING: 'Welcome to the petrified forest, 663 00:39:46,047 --> 00:39:49,331 'the world's largest site of petrified wood.' 664 00:39:49,382 --> 00:39:52,217 - Uh huh huh. - Hm, heh heh. 665 00:39:52,259 --> 00:39:53,588 "Wood." Uh huh huh! 666 00:39:53,636 --> 00:39:57,632 RECORDING: 'You may wonder, "how can wood get so hard?"' 667 00:39:57,680 --> 00:40:00,349 - Uh huh huh. - Hm, heh heh. 668 00:40:00,391 --> 00:40:03,889 RECORDING: 'The wood became hard over 2 million years ago.' 669 00:40:08,772 --> 00:40:10,396 (TYRES SCREECH) 670 00:40:10,440 --> 00:40:11,815 Uh huh huh huh. 671 00:40:11,857 --> 00:40:13,233 Hm hm, heh heh. 672 00:40:13,275 --> 00:40:15,730 - Uh huh huh. - Heh heh. 673 00:40:15,777 --> 00:40:19,192 - Uh huh huh huh. - Hm hm, heh heh. 674 00:40:23,157 --> 00:40:25,529 "Wood." Uh huh huh... 675 00:40:26,952 --> 00:40:29,110 Hey, where'd those chicks go? 676 00:40:29,162 --> 00:40:32,281 I think you scared them off. 677 00:40:32,331 --> 00:40:35,284 This sucks. What are we doing here? 678 00:40:35,333 --> 00:40:37,907 Uhh... I don't know. 679 00:40:39,795 --> 00:40:43,127 Uhh, do you know where Washington is? 680 00:40:43,172 --> 00:40:46,257 Uh, yeah. About 2,000 miles that way. 681 00:40:46,300 --> 00:40:48,921 - Cool. - Thanks. 682 00:40:54,140 --> 00:40:57,093 Didn't see which way they went or their vehicle. 683 00:40:57,142 --> 00:40:59,679 I don't suppose you tried to stop them. 684 00:40:59,727 --> 00:41:03,675 The most dangerous guys in America? No, thanks. I make �9 an hour. 685 00:41:03,730 --> 00:41:07,477 National security is the responsibility of every American. 686 00:41:07,524 --> 00:41:09,682 - Bork... - Cavity search? 687 00:41:09,735 --> 00:41:12,604 - Deep and hard. - Agent Hurly. 688 00:41:12,653 --> 00:41:14,112 They're not getting away. 689 00:41:14,155 --> 00:41:18,317 I want roadblocks - every road out of here for 200 miles. 690 00:41:29,124 --> 00:41:33,073 Um... this sucks. It's all hot and stuff. 691 00:41:33,127 --> 00:41:35,795 This desert is stupid. 692 00:41:35,837 --> 00:41:38,754 They need to put a drinking fountain out here. 693 00:41:38,798 --> 00:41:41,632 Yeah, like, a 7-Eleven or something. Heh. 694 00:41:47,679 --> 00:41:49,672 Somethin' wrong, Officer? 695 00:41:49,723 --> 00:41:51,596 We're looking for these fugitives. 696 00:41:51,640 --> 00:41:53,467 Well, I'll be danged. 697 00:41:53,517 --> 00:41:57,016 That's them kids that have been whackin' in my camper. 698 00:41:57,062 --> 00:41:59,183 - You saw them? - Sure. 699 00:41:59,229 --> 00:42:02,894 Boy, I never seen two kids do so much damned whackin'. 700 00:42:02,940 --> 00:42:06,274 Blue Den, this is post 9. I have positive ID. 701 00:42:06,319 --> 00:42:08,524 They're like two spider monkeys... 702 00:42:08,570 --> 00:42:11,025 Step out of the vehicle, please. 703 00:42:11,072 --> 00:42:15,364 Wait a minute. Me and the missus are on our way to Washington... 704 00:42:15,408 --> 00:42:16,653 Now! 705 00:42:18,953 --> 00:42:20,328 Now, wait right there. 706 00:42:20,371 --> 00:42:23,287 You're dealing with a veteran of two foreign wars. 707 00:42:23,331 --> 00:42:25,158 They're the ones been whackin'. 708 00:42:25,208 --> 00:42:28,326 I find anything broken, you and I'll tangle. 709 00:42:30,670 --> 00:42:33,374 Masturbating in the man's camper. 710 00:42:33,422 --> 00:42:35,829 We're dealing with two sick individuals. 711 00:42:35,882 --> 00:42:39,879 I want that camper torn apart, full cavity searches all around. 712 00:42:39,927 --> 00:42:42,928 Something tells me he could be involved. 713 00:42:42,971 --> 00:42:45,259 What in the... Wait just a minute! 714 00:42:45,306 --> 00:42:48,840 Chief, 2 days ago, Express Airways had a disturbance 715 00:42:48,892 --> 00:42:52,426 by someone calling himself "Cornholio". 716 00:42:52,478 --> 00:42:54,471 Guess who matches the description? 717 00:42:54,522 --> 00:42:57,557 Finally, a real break. 718 00:42:57,607 --> 00:43:00,311 Get me the departure point. We'll kick ass. 719 00:43:03,861 --> 00:43:06,352 - Uh huh huh. - Nuhn. 720 00:43:06,406 --> 00:43:09,856 - Uh huh huh... - Hm hm, heh. 721 00:43:09,908 --> 00:43:11,023 Uhh... 722 00:43:12,868 --> 00:43:17,245 Uhh huh... hey! One of you bastards got a match? 723 00:43:17,288 --> 00:43:21,036 Uhh, yeah. My butt and your... 724 00:43:21,083 --> 00:43:23,573 uhh... butt. Uh huh huh. 725 00:43:25,336 --> 00:43:27,244 Uh huh huh. Uh huh. 726 00:43:27,295 --> 00:43:30,166 - Uh huh huh. - Hm, heh heh. 727 00:43:30,215 --> 00:43:33,630 - Hm hm, heh heh. - Uh huh huh huh. 728 00:43:36,052 --> 00:43:41,046 Here's a song that might help you cope with those feelings, mm-kay? 729 00:43:41,098 --> 00:43:42,889 It's called Lesbian Seagull. 730 00:43:44,517 --> 00:43:47,055 # She flies so gracefully 731 00:43:47,103 --> 00:43:49,889 # Over rocks, trees and sand 732 00:43:49,938 --> 00:43:51,894 (SIRENS) 733 00:43:51,939 --> 00:43:53,314 # Soaring over cliffs 734 00:43:53,357 --> 00:43:57,983 # And gently floating down to land 735 00:43:58,486 --> 00:44:01,023 # She proudly lifts her voice 736 00:44:01,071 --> 00:44:03,692 # To sound the mating call 737 00:44:05,033 --> 00:44:07,155 # And soon her mate responds 738 00:44:07,200 --> 00:44:10,486 # By singing, "caw" 739 00:44:10,537 --> 00:44:11,816 # "Caw, caw" 740 00:44:11,871 --> 00:44:13,662 # Come with me 741 00:44:13,706 --> 00:44:17,074 # Lesbian seagull 742 00:44:19,044 --> 00:44:23,335 # Settle down and rest with me 743 00:44:23,379 --> 00:44:26,665 # Fly high 744 00:44:26,716 --> 00:44:28,458 # Lesbian seagull... # 745 00:44:29,843 --> 00:44:33,211 Uh, that's him! He's their teacher! 746 00:44:33,262 --> 00:44:34,460 Uh, huh, yeah. 747 00:44:34,513 --> 00:44:36,920 Uh, what's going on here? 748 00:44:36,973 --> 00:44:38,633 I'll ask the questions. 749 00:44:38,683 --> 00:44:40,093 Are these your students? 750 00:44:40,142 --> 00:44:42,633 I assume you're a government agent. 751 00:44:42,686 --> 00:44:44,642 I would think you would know 752 00:44:44,687 --> 00:44:48,269 there is something in this country called due process, mm-kay? 753 00:44:48,315 --> 00:44:52,312 That's the talk I'd expect from the guy who taught these two. 754 00:44:52,360 --> 00:44:53,439 Take this scum away. 755 00:44:53,486 --> 00:44:57,019 I believe I'm supposed to be read my Miranda rights. 756 00:44:57,072 --> 00:44:58,945 Now... Whaa! 757 00:44:58,990 --> 00:45:01,314 I always knew they were no good. 758 00:45:01,367 --> 00:45:03,027 Uh, I hate... 759 00:45:03,077 --> 00:45:06,824 Shut up! You've been harboring two criminal masterminds. 760 00:45:07,163 --> 00:45:11,160 Chief, you know that guy whose camper they were whackin' off in? 761 00:45:11,208 --> 00:45:13,330 Bork, you are a federal agent. 762 00:45:13,376 --> 00:45:15,663 You represent the United States Government. 763 00:45:15,710 --> 00:45:18,380 Never end a sentence with a preposition. 764 00:45:18,421 --> 00:45:20,460 Oh. Uh... 765 00:45:20,506 --> 00:45:23,671 You know that guy in whose camper they... 766 00:45:23,716 --> 00:45:27,547 I mean that guy off in whose camper they were whacking? 767 00:45:27,594 --> 00:45:29,385 That's better. Yes? 768 00:45:29,429 --> 00:45:32,382 We've run a sample through the criminal sperm bank 769 00:45:32,431 --> 00:45:35,384 and found two possible genetic matches for a father. 770 00:45:35,433 --> 00:45:38,885 Former M�tley Cr�e roadies turned drifters. 771 00:45:38,937 --> 00:45:40,928 (SLOBBERING) 772 00:45:40,980 --> 00:45:46,933 - You were a roadie for M�tley Cr�e? - Yep. Uh huh huh huh. 773 00:45:46,985 --> 00:45:50,399 Aha... fire. 774 00:45:50,445 --> 00:45:52,567 Uh, here's another true story. 775 00:45:52,613 --> 00:45:56,396 About 15 years ago, we stopped in this toilet... 776 00:45:56,449 --> 00:45:58,572 uhh, called Highland. 777 00:45:58,618 --> 00:46:01,784 Really? That's where we're from. 778 00:46:01,829 --> 00:46:04,116 Then you know what I'm talking about. 779 00:46:04,163 --> 00:46:05,788 Anyway, here's the story. 780 00:46:05,832 --> 00:46:08,452 I scored with these two chicks. True story. 781 00:46:08,500 --> 00:46:10,576 Heh heh heh. Yeah. Me, too. 782 00:46:10,627 --> 00:46:12,998 You scored with two chicks? 783 00:46:13,045 --> 00:46:15,749 Yeah. They were sluts. 784 00:46:15,797 --> 00:46:19,248 (ALL CHUCKLE) 785 00:46:19,301 --> 00:46:21,791 - Aah! - Shut up, dumb-ass! 786 00:46:21,844 --> 00:46:24,844 You didn't score. I scored with both of 'em. 787 00:46:24,887 --> 00:46:30,261 Uh, do you think these two sluts still live in Highland? 788 00:46:30,309 --> 00:46:32,680 That would be cool. 789 00:46:32,727 --> 00:46:36,474 Hey, you want to see something really cool? 790 00:46:36,521 --> 00:46:38,763 Uh huh huh huh. 791 00:46:39,940 --> 00:46:40,971 (BRRRAPP) 792 00:46:42,151 --> 00:46:44,023 (ALL CHUCKLE) 793 00:46:47,238 --> 00:46:48,435 BEAVIS: Fire! 794 00:46:55,286 --> 00:46:57,076 (SNORING) 795 00:46:57,120 --> 00:46:58,863 Ahh... 796 00:47:01,332 --> 00:47:02,494 Uhh... 797 00:47:02,541 --> 00:47:05,494 Hmm. Where'd those guys go? Yeah. 798 00:47:08,003 --> 00:47:09,960 Um... 799 00:47:10,005 --> 00:47:11,795 Are we almost there yet? 800 00:47:11,839 --> 00:47:16,796 Uhh... probably, like, another five minutes or something. 801 00:47:18,970 --> 00:47:20,926 (SCREECHING) 802 00:47:35,066 --> 00:47:38,849 - The sun sucks. - Yeah. 803 00:47:38,902 --> 00:47:40,810 Cut it out, butt-hole! 804 00:47:40,861 --> 00:47:41,940 (SQUAWK) 805 00:47:43,780 --> 00:47:45,689 Hey, Butt-head. 806 00:47:45,740 --> 00:47:48,906 Isn't there supposed to be, like, water in cactuses? 807 00:47:50,661 --> 00:47:51,739 Uhh... 808 00:47:59,334 --> 00:48:02,168 Hey, Beavis... 809 00:48:02,211 --> 00:48:04,286 check it out. 810 00:48:04,337 --> 00:48:06,294 (SQUAWKING) 811 00:48:06,339 --> 00:48:09,090 - Uh huh huh. - Heh heh heh. 812 00:48:09,132 --> 00:48:13,343 Well, no, I can't say that I've seen them, Officer. 813 00:48:13,386 --> 00:48:16,551 - I hope it's safe to drive here. - Stick to the main roads. 814 00:48:16,596 --> 00:48:19,170 They're probably hiding out in the desert. 815 00:48:19,224 --> 00:48:21,595 Well, that's good to know, Officer. 816 00:48:21,642 --> 00:48:23,266 Yeah. (COUGHS) 817 00:48:28,021 --> 00:48:30,228 Oh... 818 00:48:30,274 --> 00:48:32,977 Hey, Butt-head, are we gonna die? 819 00:48:33,025 --> 00:48:37,069 Uhh... uhh... probably. 820 00:48:38,822 --> 00:48:39,852 Whoa! 821 00:48:39,905 --> 00:48:44,732 I think my life is, like, flashing in front of my eyes. 822 00:48:57,419 --> 00:48:59,127 Whoa... 823 00:48:59,170 --> 00:49:01,411 My life was cool. 824 00:49:02,423 --> 00:49:04,545 Mm mm, oh, yeah... 825 00:49:04,590 --> 00:49:06,667 Wait a minute. 826 00:49:06,718 --> 00:49:09,172 I think I'm seeing something, too. 827 00:49:09,886 --> 00:49:12,174 It's, like, a really long time ago. 828 00:49:12,221 --> 00:49:13,419 Heh heh heh. 829 00:49:13,472 --> 00:49:15,465 Yeah. This is gonna be cool. 830 00:49:18,143 --> 00:49:19,471 Hey, how's it going? 831 00:49:22,062 --> 00:49:23,094 Aah! 832 00:49:25,940 --> 00:49:27,600 Mm mm, heh heh. 833 00:49:27,650 --> 00:49:30,354 Yeah. I scored. 834 00:49:32,028 --> 00:49:35,941 Hey, Butt-head, I'm starting to feel weird. 835 00:49:35,989 --> 00:49:37,780 I think I'm freaking out. 836 00:49:37,824 --> 00:49:39,484 Uh... OK. 837 00:49:39,534 --> 00:49:41,490 Whoa, this is cool. 838 00:49:41,535 --> 00:49:43,029 It's like, 839 00:49:43,078 --> 00:49:47,490 it's like everything looks all weird... 840 00:49:47,540 --> 00:49:49,448 There're all these weird shapes... 841 00:49:49,499 --> 00:49:53,710 And it's sort of like... it's like a music video. 842 00:49:53,753 --> 00:49:57,251 What are you doing, Butt-head? Stop it! 843 00:49:57,297 --> 00:49:59,788 You're freaking me out! Cut it out! 844 00:50:00,883 --> 00:50:02,163 What's going on? 845 00:50:04,177 --> 00:50:06,632 # WHITE ZOMBIE: Ratfinks, Suicide Tanks And Cannibal Girls 846 00:50:13,476 --> 00:50:15,883 There's a problem here. 847 00:50:15,936 --> 00:50:17,181 Ohh! 848 00:50:21,857 --> 00:50:24,608 Oh, yeah! Yeah! Yeah! 849 00:50:24,651 --> 00:50:26,608 Fire! Fire! Fire! 850 00:50:26,653 --> 00:50:27,732 Oh, yes! 851 00:51:36,830 --> 00:51:40,779 - Aah! - Aah! I'm all wet! 852 00:51:40,833 --> 00:51:43,703 - Uhh... - Oh, hey, cool. 853 00:51:43,752 --> 00:51:45,080 Yeah. Water. 854 00:51:46,296 --> 00:51:47,956 Oh, I'm gonna enjoy this. 855 00:51:49,131 --> 00:51:51,419 Any last words before I kill you? 856 00:51:51,466 --> 00:51:53,707 Uhh... 857 00:51:53,759 --> 00:51:56,085 I have a couple. 858 00:51:56,136 --> 00:51:57,464 Butt cheeks. 859 00:51:57,512 --> 00:52:00,714 Yeah, yeah! And, um, and boobs. 860 00:52:00,764 --> 00:52:03,137 I just wanna say that again. Boobs. 861 00:52:03,183 --> 00:52:05,887 I'm gonna blow you both to hell! 862 00:52:05,935 --> 00:52:09,137 Cool. Whoa. 863 00:52:09,187 --> 00:52:12,887 Beavis, that's that dude that's paying us to do his wife. 864 00:52:12,940 --> 00:52:14,138 Oh, yeah, yeah. 865 00:52:14,191 --> 00:52:16,860 Um, can you just take us to Washington? 866 00:52:16,902 --> 00:52:20,152 We're gonna meet her there and, you know... 867 00:52:20,195 --> 00:52:23,564 Washington? That's where she's gonna meet up with you? 868 00:52:23,616 --> 00:52:26,900 You know, I just might need you boys after all. 869 00:52:26,951 --> 00:52:29,868 Get in the trunk. Both of you. Now! 870 00:52:34,916 --> 00:52:37,869 BUTT-HEAD: Boy, it sure is hard to score. 871 00:52:37,918 --> 00:52:38,997 BEAVIS: Yeah, really. 872 00:52:39,044 --> 00:52:40,123 (TYRES SCREECH) 873 00:52:50,344 --> 00:52:53,925 Hey, hey, Butt-head, check it out. Ajack. 874 00:52:53,971 --> 00:52:56,640 - Uh huh huh. - Heh heh heh. 875 00:52:56,681 --> 00:52:58,674 # OZZY OSBOURNE: Walk on Water 876 00:53:01,977 --> 00:53:04,348 # I met a magic man 877 00:53:04,395 --> 00:53:06,969 # Who had a daughter 878 00:53:07,023 --> 00:53:09,062 # She learned her lessons well 879 00:53:09,107 --> 00:53:11,065 # But still I taught her... 880 00:53:11,109 --> 00:53:12,686 BUTT-HEAD: Jack. 881 00:53:12,735 --> 00:53:14,194 (BOTH CHUCKLE) 882 00:53:14,237 --> 00:53:16,194 # As lambs to slaughter 883 00:53:16,239 --> 00:53:18,811 # We shared forbidden fruit 884 00:53:18,865 --> 00:53:21,153 # And things I brought her 885 00:53:21,200 --> 00:53:24,782 # You may say I'm a miracle man... # 886 00:53:25,578 --> 00:53:27,618 (GRINDING) Hey, Beavis, check it out. 887 00:53:27,664 --> 00:53:29,157 I'm jacking off. 888 00:53:29,206 --> 00:53:31,827 - Uh huh huh. - Heh heh heh. 889 00:53:33,918 --> 00:53:35,116 Yeah. 890 00:53:35,169 --> 00:53:37,790 - Uh huh huh. - Heh heh heh. 891 00:53:37,837 --> 00:53:40,044 Let's get out of here. 892 00:53:43,926 --> 00:53:45,799 You go first, Beavis. 893 00:53:47,387 --> 00:53:50,671 I don't know, Butt-head. The road's moving pretty fast. 894 00:53:50,722 --> 00:53:54,636 Come on, Beavis. Start running really fast when you hit the ground. 895 00:53:54,684 --> 00:53:57,387 - It'll work. - No way. You go. 896 00:53:57,435 --> 00:53:59,013 Don't be a wuss, Beavis. 897 00:53:59,771 --> 00:54:00,801 Aah! 898 00:54:01,814 --> 00:54:03,522 Uh huh huh. 899 00:54:03,732 --> 00:54:05,641 (HORNS HONKING) 900 00:54:13,447 --> 00:54:14,645 That was cool. 901 00:54:17,325 --> 00:54:19,235 Unh! Unh! Unh! 902 00:54:22,246 --> 00:54:24,451 (BIG BAND MUSIC) 903 00:54:24,497 --> 00:54:27,498 Boy, what I wouldn't give for five minutes alone 904 00:54:27,542 --> 00:54:29,201 with them two little bastards. 905 00:54:29,710 --> 00:54:30,741 Aah! 906 00:54:35,715 --> 00:54:37,671 (RADIO BLARING) 907 00:54:47,682 --> 00:54:51,015 MEDIC: I need a trauma box over here right now! 908 00:54:51,059 --> 00:54:53,217 The news here is not good. 909 00:54:53,269 --> 00:54:58,096 Authorities call this the worst highway disaster in history. 910 00:54:58,148 --> 00:55:02,014 'Behind me, over 400 vehicles lay wrecked or stuck.' 911 00:55:02,067 --> 00:55:03,265 Chief, look! 912 00:55:03,319 --> 00:55:05,275 'No one knows what caused it... ' 913 00:55:05,320 --> 00:55:07,692 Well, I'll be a blue-nosed gopher. 914 00:55:07,739 --> 00:55:09,861 Where did these guys come from? 915 00:55:09,907 --> 00:55:12,693 The question is where are they going? 916 00:55:12,742 --> 00:55:16,442 TV: 'In other news, G-PAC begins at 2 pm tomorrow, 917 00:55:16,495 --> 00:55:18,072 'when representatives from around the world... ' 918 00:55:18,163 --> 00:55:19,787 What the hell? 919 00:55:19,831 --> 00:55:23,282 Bork! That bus we picked up, where was it heading? 920 00:55:23,334 --> 00:55:24,910 Uh, DC, Chief. 921 00:55:24,959 --> 00:55:26,288 Jesus jumped-up... 922 00:55:26,336 --> 00:55:28,623 Bork, can you imagine what would happen 923 00:55:28,670 --> 00:55:31,624 if they set that thing off in the capital? 924 00:55:31,673 --> 00:55:36,085 If they sold it to someone at that conference? It's not gonna happen! 925 00:55:39,638 --> 00:55:41,012 Whoa! 926 00:55:41,055 --> 00:55:44,305 - This kicks ass. - Yeah. 927 00:55:44,350 --> 00:55:46,970 Yoo-hoo! Travis and Bob Head! 928 00:55:47,018 --> 00:55:48,642 Hellooo! 929 00:55:48,685 --> 00:55:52,764 - Butt-head, it's that chick. - Uh, oh, yeah. Cool. 930 00:55:52,813 --> 00:55:56,396 Maybe they'll take us to Washington, and we can finally score. 931 00:55:56,442 --> 00:55:57,722 Yeah. 932 00:55:57,776 --> 00:56:00,314 Um, isn't Seattle in Washington? 933 00:56:00,362 --> 00:56:03,979 Uh, yep. It sure is. 934 00:56:04,031 --> 00:56:08,324 Cool. I was thinking after we score, maybe we could go see Hole. 935 00:56:08,368 --> 00:56:10,240 (BOTH CHUCKLE) 936 00:56:10,285 --> 00:56:11,364 BUTT-HEAD: Hole. 937 00:56:43,102 --> 00:56:44,133 Hmm. 938 00:56:52,192 --> 00:56:53,899 MUDDY: Expecting somebody? 939 00:56:53,943 --> 00:56:57,228 Well, well, look at this. 940 00:56:57,279 --> 00:57:00,729 The love of my life. (COUGHS) 941 00:57:00,781 --> 00:57:02,573 Where have you been? 942 00:57:02,616 --> 00:57:05,735 Honey, I was gonna split it after I sold it. 943 00:57:05,785 --> 00:57:07,410 Down the middle, I swear... 944 00:57:07,453 --> 00:57:11,071 Now you don't have to go to all that bother. 945 00:57:11,123 --> 00:57:14,407 Come on, Muddy, how about we just forget about it 946 00:57:14,458 --> 00:57:16,746 and get a room like old times? 947 00:57:16,793 --> 00:57:19,415 I don't think so. Where is it? 948 00:57:19,462 --> 00:57:22,747 PA: All senators are requested for a vote. 949 00:57:25,633 --> 00:57:27,590 - Can I help you? - Uh... 950 00:57:27,635 --> 00:57:29,378 We're looking for Washington? 951 00:57:29,428 --> 00:57:33,507 We're gonna meet this chick with really big hooters. 952 00:57:33,556 --> 00:57:35,632 Sirs, you are in Washington. 953 00:57:35,683 --> 00:57:37,722 Really? Well, where is she? 954 00:57:37,767 --> 00:57:41,598 Uh, could you make an announcement that we're ready to score? 955 00:57:41,645 --> 00:57:42,760 No. 956 00:57:42,813 --> 00:57:44,888 (BEEP) Just a moment. 957 00:57:44,939 --> 00:57:47,477 Hello? How may I help you? 958 00:57:50,319 --> 00:57:53,568 BUTT-HEAD ON PA: 'Uh... attention. 959 00:57:53,613 --> 00:57:57,479 'Attention. We're looking for the chick with big boobs.' 960 00:57:57,532 --> 00:57:58,611 BEAVIS: 'Yeah! Yeah! ' 961 00:57:58,658 --> 00:58:00,946 'We are ready to do you now.' 962 00:58:00,993 --> 00:58:02,820 BOTH: 'Uh huh huh huh.' 963 00:58:02,870 --> 00:58:04,697 SENATORS: Uh huh huh huh. 964 00:58:07,499 --> 00:58:10,035 You forget who you're dealing with, honey. 965 00:58:10,083 --> 00:58:14,246 I got your mules right here in my trunk, and... 966 00:58:14,295 --> 00:58:17,544 Hey! Oh, damn! Damn! 967 00:58:17,589 --> 00:58:19,831 I am gonna kill them! 968 00:58:19,883 --> 00:58:21,506 No, honey... 969 00:58:21,550 --> 00:58:22,961 We're gonna kill them. 970 00:58:25,512 --> 00:58:27,255 DRIVER: Next stop, White House. 971 00:58:32,893 --> 00:58:36,593 Hey! What's going on? Why are we back on the bus? 972 00:58:36,646 --> 00:58:38,602 It's time to go, son. 973 00:58:38,647 --> 00:58:39,761 We can't leave! 974 00:58:39,815 --> 00:58:44,060 We never met that chick! Damn it! We were supposed to get some! 975 00:58:44,109 --> 00:58:45,437 Settle down, Beavis. 976 00:58:45,485 --> 00:58:47,442 No! I won't settle down! 977 00:58:47,487 --> 00:58:49,028 Not this time! 978 00:58:49,071 --> 00:58:50,731 Damn it! This always happens! 979 00:58:50,781 --> 00:58:54,612 I think I'm gonna score, then never score! It's not fair! 980 00:58:54,659 --> 00:58:58,738 We traveled, um, um... 100 miles 'cause we thought we'd score! 981 00:58:58,787 --> 00:59:00,696 It's not gonna happen! Damn it! 982 00:59:00,747 --> 00:59:03,533 - Buddy, sit down! - Shut up, asswipe! 983 00:59:03,582 --> 00:59:06,915 I'm sick and tired of this! We're never gonna score! 984 00:59:06,960 --> 00:59:09,960 It's not gonna happen! We'll get old like these people! 985 00:59:10,003 --> 00:59:13,122 - But they've probably scored! - Hey! Sit down! 986 00:59:13,172 --> 00:59:15,248 It's, like, this chick's a slut! 987 00:59:15,299 --> 00:59:18,632 And this guy's old, but he's scored a million times! 988 00:59:18,677 --> 00:59:19,922 Oh, yeah. 989 00:59:19,970 --> 00:59:24,132 But not us! We're never gonna score! We're never gonna score! 990 00:59:24,181 --> 00:59:25,805 Right! That's it, numb-nuts! 991 00:59:25,849 --> 00:59:26,880 Aah! 992 00:59:26,933 --> 00:59:28,178 (THUMPING) 993 00:59:28,226 --> 00:59:29,767 BEAVIS: Once more and I'll... Unh! 994 00:59:29,810 --> 00:59:30,841 Kick your ass! 995 00:59:30,894 --> 00:59:33,978 (RAP MUSIC AND PANTING) 996 00:59:34,021 --> 00:59:35,184 (DOOR OPENS) 997 00:59:35,231 --> 00:59:39,062 Well, look what we have here. You two make me sick. 998 00:59:39,109 --> 00:59:40,354 Book 'em, Bork. 999 00:59:40,443 --> 00:59:42,601 You don't have anything on us. 1000 00:59:42,695 --> 00:59:45,066 Oh, I don't? How about lewd conduct? 1001 00:59:45,113 --> 00:59:48,446 Maybe indecent exposure. Here's what's gonna happen. 1002 00:59:48,491 --> 00:59:54,076 One of you is gonna get me the unit. The other gets 60 years in jail. 1003 00:59:54,120 --> 00:59:55,947 That's where you're wrong, boy. 1004 00:59:55,997 --> 00:59:57,953 We're back together, and you'll never... 1005 00:59:57,998 --> 01:00:01,994 He stole the unit! Said he put it in some kid's pants. 1006 01:00:02,042 --> 01:00:04,331 Why you damn little four-legged... 1007 01:00:04,378 --> 01:00:05,752 Hey! Take it easy! 1008 01:00:05,795 --> 01:00:07,503 I'm gonna rip your... 1009 01:00:10,382 --> 01:00:15,257 Now, Travis, it doesn't do a body good to get all worked up. 1010 01:00:15,303 --> 01:00:19,762 Here, this should help you relax. 1011 01:00:19,806 --> 01:00:22,640 Does that say "Xanax"? 1012 01:00:22,683 --> 01:00:25,434 Um, yeah. 1013 01:00:25,477 --> 01:00:27,553 Probably. I don't know. 1014 01:00:34,025 --> 01:00:36,979 What else you got in there? Gimme that thing! 1015 01:00:40,572 --> 01:00:41,899 Waah! 1016 01:00:44,492 --> 01:00:46,033 (SIREN) 1017 01:00:47,160 --> 01:00:50,195 Our suspects are on a tour bus heading for... 1018 01:00:50,245 --> 01:00:52,119 the White House? 1019 01:00:52,164 --> 01:00:54,037 Jumping Jesus! 1020 01:00:54,081 --> 01:00:56,655 I want everyone there! Our people. Locals. 1021 01:00:56,709 --> 01:00:58,914 Orders are shoot to kill. 1022 01:01:07,759 --> 01:01:08,921 Ngaah! 1023 01:01:20,769 --> 01:01:23,888 Yeah, yeah, heh heh, you know what's really cool? 1024 01:01:23,938 --> 01:01:25,561 Butt-head. Butt-head. 1025 01:01:25,605 --> 01:01:28,606 - Shut up, Beavis. - Yeah. Ooh. Eeh. 1026 01:01:33,653 --> 01:01:35,610 Hey, Butt-head! Hey, Butt-head! 1027 01:01:35,655 --> 01:01:37,278 ...I'll be your tour guide. 1028 01:01:37,322 --> 01:01:40,406 If you don't know, today's a very special day. 1029 01:01:40,450 --> 01:01:42,442 Gathered at the White House today 1030 01:01:42,493 --> 01:01:44,450 for an historic global conference called 1031 01:01:44,495 --> 01:01:46,866 "Give Peace A Chance" or "G-PAC" 1032 01:01:46,913 --> 01:01:49,368 are representatives from around the world. 1033 01:01:49,414 --> 01:01:51,454 BEAVIS: Ngaaahh! 1034 01:01:51,500 --> 01:01:53,456 GUIDE: This is the East Room. 1035 01:01:53,501 --> 01:01:56,668 Many of these portraits were saved from the fire 1036 01:01:56,712 --> 01:02:00,294 - set by the British in 1814... - Fire! Fire! (GIBBERISH) 1037 01:02:00,340 --> 01:02:02,581 What's your problem, Beavis? 1038 01:02:02,633 --> 01:02:03,796 Weeahh! 1039 01:02:03,843 --> 01:02:05,799 The site for the White House 1040 01:02:05,844 --> 01:02:08,299 was chosen by President Washington and Pierre L'Enfant. 1041 01:02:08,346 --> 01:02:09,376 L'enfentata! 1042 01:02:09,430 --> 01:02:11,802 L'enfentata titicaca for my bunghole! 1043 01:02:11,849 --> 01:02:13,390 - Bunghole! - Sir? 1044 01:02:13,433 --> 01:02:15,472 Sir, are you OK? 1045 01:02:15,518 --> 01:02:17,309 Are you threatening me? 1046 01:02:17,352 --> 01:02:19,511 I am Cornholio! 1047 01:02:20,689 --> 01:02:22,147 OK... uh... sir, 1048 01:02:22,189 --> 01:02:24,976 maybe you should wait out in the lobby? 1049 01:02:25,025 --> 01:02:27,694 Um, OK. 1050 01:02:27,735 --> 01:02:32,231 In this lobby, will there be TP? For my bunghole? 1051 01:02:32,281 --> 01:02:35,067 - Cornholio... heh, heh. - The room was originally... 1052 01:02:35,116 --> 01:02:37,736 (SIRENS) 1053 01:02:37,784 --> 01:02:39,658 (MUTTERING) 1054 01:02:41,163 --> 01:02:44,246 Boy, where are you when we need you, Ike? 1055 01:02:44,290 --> 01:02:47,325 You know, honey, even with all we've been through, 1056 01:02:47,375 --> 01:02:49,035 it don't change a thing. 1057 01:02:49,085 --> 01:02:52,038 I've said it before, and I'll say it again. 1058 01:02:52,087 --> 01:02:55,420 This is the greatest country on Earth, and... 1059 01:02:55,465 --> 01:02:59,675 Say, that looks kind of like... naw, it couldn't be. 1060 01:02:59,718 --> 01:03:00,749 BEAVIS: Bungholio! 1061 01:03:07,849 --> 01:03:11,299 Are you threatening me? I am Cornholio! 1062 01:03:12,519 --> 01:03:15,305 Yes, the President does plan to speak today 1063 01:03:15,354 --> 01:03:17,062 at the G-PAC conference. 1064 01:03:17,106 --> 01:03:18,897 Mr. Secretary! Mr. Secretary! 1065 01:03:18,940 --> 01:03:22,558 What about the rumors that a biological weapon has been stolen 1066 01:03:22,610 --> 01:03:25,563 and smuggled out of the country during this conference? 1067 01:03:25,612 --> 01:03:27,688 Those rumors are entirely unfounded. 1068 01:03:31,033 --> 01:03:33,109 Those rumors are totally unfounded. 1069 01:03:33,160 --> 01:03:35,484 I am the great Cornholio! 1070 01:03:35,536 --> 01:03:36,947 I am a gringo! 1071 01:03:36,996 --> 01:03:38,904 I have no bunghole. 1072 01:03:38,955 --> 01:03:41,790 Bungholio. Bungholio! 1073 01:03:41,832 --> 01:03:42,911 (SCREECH) 1074 01:03:47,337 --> 01:03:48,665 (SIREN) 1075 01:03:50,839 --> 01:03:52,879 This is the State dining room, 1076 01:03:52,925 --> 01:03:55,759 where the most powerful world leaders are entertained. 1077 01:03:55,802 --> 01:03:59,004 Hey! Uh, where's the TV? 1078 01:03:59,054 --> 01:04:02,089 There are no TVs in the dining room. 1079 01:04:02,139 --> 01:04:04,048 This house sucks. 1080 01:04:04,100 --> 01:04:05,641 GUIDE: Please follow me. 1081 01:04:05,683 --> 01:04:07,641 Evacuation? 1082 01:04:07,685 --> 01:04:10,436 It's probably just another bomb threat or something. 1083 01:04:10,479 --> 01:04:11,510 OK. 1084 01:04:13,482 --> 01:04:15,853 (MUTTERING) 1085 01:04:15,900 --> 01:04:18,057 Is this the lobby? 1086 01:04:18,110 --> 01:04:21,479 I am Cornholio! 1087 01:04:21,530 --> 01:04:23,687 I need TP for my bunghole! 1088 01:04:26,699 --> 01:04:29,321 (RINGS) 1089 01:04:29,369 --> 01:04:30,530 Yes, Mr. President. 1090 01:04:30,577 --> 01:04:32,036 BEAVIS: 'I am Cornholio! 1091 01:04:32,079 --> 01:04:34,747 'My bunghole, it goes rattatataa... ' 1092 01:04:34,789 --> 01:04:36,449 - Mr. President? - (GIBBERISH) 1093 01:04:36,916 --> 01:04:38,908 Mr. President, I can't understand you. 1094 01:04:38,959 --> 01:04:41,663 Bwah! Bwah! Bwah! Ngaaah! 1095 01:04:41,710 --> 01:04:45,329 Sir, the President sounds strange. I don't think it's a drill. 1096 01:04:45,381 --> 01:04:49,425 Washington may be under attack. Go to DEFCON 4. 1097 01:04:49,467 --> 01:04:51,008 (ALARM SOUNDS) 1098 01:04:51,051 --> 01:04:52,510 (SHOUTING) 1099 01:04:52,553 --> 01:04:55,043 Step on it! Step on it! Move! 1100 01:04:56,389 --> 01:04:58,048 Uh huh huh huh... 1101 01:04:58,098 --> 01:04:59,722 Uh huh huh huh... 1102 01:04:59,766 --> 01:05:01,047 Uh huh huh... 1103 01:05:01,101 --> 01:05:03,769 Move it along, folks. Move it along. 1104 01:05:06,479 --> 01:05:09,433 Whoa! Hey, baby. 1105 01:05:12,151 --> 01:05:15,732 I noticed you have braces. I have braces, too. 1106 01:05:19,948 --> 01:05:21,608 Whoa! 1107 01:05:23,909 --> 01:05:26,696 Uh huh huh huh. That was cool. 1108 01:05:29,330 --> 01:05:30,492 Whoa! 1109 01:05:30,539 --> 01:05:33,457 This is the coolest thing I have ever seen. 1110 01:05:33,500 --> 01:05:36,915 - All right, where's the unit? - Uhh... 1111 01:05:36,961 --> 01:05:39,581 My unit? Uh huh huh. 1112 01:05:39,629 --> 01:05:41,005 In my pants. 1113 01:05:41,048 --> 01:05:43,288 Uh... uh... 1114 01:05:43,340 --> 01:05:45,048 Not on him, Chief. 1115 01:05:45,092 --> 01:05:49,041 Agent Hurly, I want you to give this scumbag a cavity search. 1116 01:05:49,095 --> 01:05:50,470 I'm talking roto-rooter. 1117 01:05:50,512 --> 01:05:53,299 Don't stop till you reach the back of his teeth. 1118 01:05:53,348 --> 01:05:56,099 Yeah. Uh huh huh huh. 1119 01:05:57,976 --> 01:06:01,559 - Sir, we await your orders. - Surrender your TP! 1120 01:06:01,605 --> 01:06:02,718 Give me that! 1121 01:06:02,772 --> 01:06:05,559 Mr. President, in the name of all that's holy, 1122 01:06:05,608 --> 01:06:07,267 I need those launch codes. 1123 01:06:07,317 --> 01:06:10,899 (GIBBERISH AND CLICK) 1124 01:06:10,944 --> 01:06:15,819 I am Cornholio! You will cooperate with my bunghole. 1125 01:06:15,865 --> 01:06:18,402 For there is but one bunghole. 1126 01:06:18,450 --> 01:06:20,573 The almighty bunghole. 1127 01:06:23,537 --> 01:06:25,197 He's clean, Chief. 1128 01:06:25,247 --> 01:06:27,073 Uh... huh huh huh... 1129 01:06:27,123 --> 01:06:28,582 Did I just score? 1130 01:06:30,459 --> 01:06:34,372 The other guy has it. He's got to be here somewhere. 1131 01:06:34,420 --> 01:06:36,911 (FRENCH) "Cornholio?" 1132 01:06:36,964 --> 01:06:40,000 (HINDI) "Cornholio." 1133 01:06:40,050 --> 01:06:43,169 (GIBBERISH) Bung-ho! 1134 01:06:43,219 --> 01:06:46,883 Est-ce que vouz savez ce que c'est un "bung-hole?" 1135 01:06:46,930 --> 01:06:48,009 BEAVIS: Huh? 1136 01:06:48,056 --> 01:06:50,012 Fire. Bungholio. 1137 01:06:50,057 --> 01:06:53,011 Excuse me. I'm terribly sorry for the inconvenience, gentlemen, 1138 01:06:53,060 --> 01:06:55,894 but we'll have to wait outside for a moment. 1139 01:06:55,937 --> 01:06:57,016 Follow me, please? 1140 01:06:58,105 --> 01:07:00,678 (HINDI) "TP for my bunghole?" 1141 01:07:00,732 --> 01:07:03,305 Yeah! Yeah! TP for my bunghole. 1142 01:07:06,403 --> 01:07:08,894 AIDE: Let these conference gentlemen through, please. 1143 01:07:08,947 --> 01:07:10,654 It's OK. He's with them. 1144 01:07:13,575 --> 01:07:16,326 You cannot run from your own bunghole. 1145 01:07:19,538 --> 01:07:21,447 Bunghole, bunghole, bunghole. 1146 01:07:22,415 --> 01:07:24,372 Aha. 1147 01:07:24,417 --> 01:07:26,574 Uh heh heh heh. Oh, yeah. 1148 01:07:26,668 --> 01:07:28,542 (SALSA MUSIC IN BACKGROUND) 1149 01:07:28,628 --> 01:07:30,418 Ohh. 1150 01:07:30,462 --> 01:07:31,577 # Mucha muchacha 1151 01:07:31,630 --> 01:07:32,745 Ahh. 1152 01:07:32,798 --> 01:07:34,208 # Mucha muchacha 1153 01:07:35,967 --> 01:07:37,081 Oh-ho-ho. 1154 01:07:37,135 --> 01:07:39,541 Boi-yoi-yoi-yoi-yoi-ing! 1155 01:07:39,594 --> 01:07:43,093 # Mucha muchacha, Mucha muchacha # 1156 01:07:43,139 --> 01:07:45,048 (JABBERING) 1157 01:07:47,475 --> 01:07:50,808 Boy, it really makes you proud. 1158 01:07:50,853 --> 01:07:53,972 I could stay in here all day. 1159 01:07:54,022 --> 01:07:57,022 Sir, I have to ask you to leave. Now! 1160 01:07:57,066 --> 01:08:00,434 That's enough. I been plannin' this trip my whole life... 1161 01:08:00,485 --> 01:08:02,144 What do you think you're? 1162 01:08:02,194 --> 01:08:03,938 Something about a corn hole... 1163 01:08:03,988 --> 01:08:07,522 We haven't seen the Lincoln Room. Let go of me! 1164 01:08:07,574 --> 01:08:10,490 Uh, say, Chief... 1165 01:08:10,534 --> 01:08:13,488 isn't that the guy whose camper they were whackin'... 1166 01:08:13,537 --> 01:08:16,490 I mean, off in whose whackin' camper... 1167 01:08:16,539 --> 01:08:17,867 Not now, Bork. 1168 01:08:17,915 --> 01:08:19,077 (BEAVIS JABBERING) 1169 01:08:19,124 --> 01:08:22,207 Honey, this country's going to hell in a hand-basket. 1170 01:08:22,251 --> 01:08:26,035 I'm going to go and talk to my congressman about this. 1171 01:08:26,087 --> 01:08:28,163 BEAVIS: Aah! Ooh. Mmm. Ah! 1172 01:08:28,214 --> 01:08:29,874 What the hell? 1173 01:08:29,924 --> 01:08:31,881 Wait here a minute. 1174 01:08:34,218 --> 01:08:35,926 BEAVIS: Oh! No! Ohh, no! 1175 01:08:35,970 --> 01:08:39,219 What in the hell is that damn noise? 1176 01:08:39,264 --> 01:08:40,723 I... Huh? Aah! What?! 1177 01:08:40,766 --> 01:08:42,473 BEAVIS: Hey. How's it going? 1178 01:08:42,516 --> 01:08:44,474 Pull your damn pants up, boy! 1179 01:08:44,518 --> 01:08:46,973 I don't want to see that! 1180 01:08:47,020 --> 01:08:48,479 Get out of here! 1181 01:08:48,521 --> 01:08:51,474 If I ever catch you whackin' in here again, 1182 01:08:51,523 --> 01:08:53,066 I'll hog-tie you! 1183 01:08:53,108 --> 01:08:56,523 Aw, damn it! Now I gotta straighten up in here. 1184 01:08:57,570 --> 01:09:00,938 We just cleared all four floors. No sign of him. 1185 01:09:00,989 --> 01:09:03,028 Where the hell is he? 1186 01:09:03,074 --> 01:09:06,075 Say, Chief, isn't that the camper... 1187 01:09:06,118 --> 01:09:07,446 Bork, not now. 1188 01:09:07,494 --> 01:09:08,988 Chief, look. 1189 01:09:09,037 --> 01:09:12,321 Well, I'll be a monkey's bare-assed uncle. 1190 01:09:12,373 --> 01:09:14,448 Attention, all units. We've got him. 1191 01:09:14,499 --> 01:09:16,242 He's on Pennsylvania Avenue. 1192 01:09:18,919 --> 01:09:22,287 I am Cornholio! I will lay waste to your bunghole! 1193 01:09:23,005 --> 01:09:26,254 Bungholio. Holio-bungholio. 1194 01:09:27,217 --> 01:09:28,960 Hit the deck! Get down! 1195 01:09:29,010 --> 01:09:30,883 Bunghole, bunghole, bunghole... 1196 01:09:30,928 --> 01:09:35,007 OK, nobody shoot. He could still have the unit on him. 1197 01:09:35,056 --> 01:09:38,887 Keep your distance. We don't want to risk hitting it. 1198 01:09:38,934 --> 01:09:41,507 - Where are his pants? - Who knows? 1199 01:09:41,561 --> 01:09:42,640 Bunghole. 1200 01:09:42,687 --> 01:09:45,723 - Bunghole? Bungholio. - This is Agent Flemming, ATF. 1201 01:09:45,773 --> 01:09:49,307 We won't hurt you. We just want the unit. 1202 01:09:49,359 --> 01:09:51,066 (JABBERING) 1203 01:09:57,532 --> 01:09:59,358 Tell us where it is. 1204 01:09:59,408 --> 01:10:00,866 Do you have TP? 1205 01:10:00,909 --> 01:10:02,699 TP for my bunghole? 1206 01:10:02,743 --> 01:10:04,652 We'll get you whatever you want. 1207 01:10:04,704 --> 01:10:06,411 We might need that other kid. 1208 01:10:06,454 --> 01:10:07,913 Do you have any holio? 1209 01:10:07,956 --> 01:10:09,948 Uh, yeah, this is Bork. 1210 01:10:10,000 --> 01:10:11,908 Listen, we need some TP. 1211 01:10:11,959 --> 01:10:13,453 And some... 1212 01:10:13,502 --> 01:10:15,043 what did he say? 1213 01:10:16,087 --> 01:10:18,411 Whoa. Uh huh huh huh. 1214 01:10:18,463 --> 01:10:19,578 This rules. 1215 01:10:20,632 --> 01:10:22,588 Can I have a gun, too? 1216 01:10:23,634 --> 01:10:26,468 You must bow down to the almighty bunghole! 1217 01:10:26,511 --> 01:10:28,005 This is cool. 1218 01:10:28,054 --> 01:10:29,846 Garga-holio-ala-hole... 1219 01:10:29,889 --> 01:10:33,672 This is your last chance. Give us the unit now. 1220 01:10:33,726 --> 01:10:36,429 Why does everybody want to see my schlong? 1221 01:10:37,478 --> 01:10:39,020 Uh, bunghole. 1222 01:10:39,062 --> 01:10:43,106 - Mmm-bungholio-o-o-o-o. - He's jerking us off. 1223 01:10:43,149 --> 01:10:48,273 We're gonna have to take him out. Get ready to fire on my orders. 1224 01:10:48,320 --> 01:10:51,901 I am the one and only almighty one and only bungholio! 1225 01:10:51,947 --> 01:10:55,611 FLEMMING: This is your last chance. I'll give you three seconds. 1226 01:10:55,658 --> 01:10:57,402 BEAVIS: I have no bungholio! 1227 01:10:57,452 --> 01:11:00,535 Fire on the count of three. One... 1228 01:11:00,579 --> 01:11:02,784 Would you like to see my bunghole? 1229 01:11:04,415 --> 01:11:07,865 - I will show you my bungho-o-o-ole! - Two... 1230 01:11:09,878 --> 01:11:11,916 I have no bungho-o-le! 1231 01:11:11,962 --> 01:11:13,456 Uh huh huh huh. 1232 01:11:15,256 --> 01:11:16,881 What's going on? 1233 01:11:16,924 --> 01:11:18,916 - What is this? - Three! 1234 01:11:18,967 --> 01:11:21,292 Take your damn pants with you! 1235 01:11:21,345 --> 01:11:23,253 - Hold your fire! - What in hell? 1236 01:11:23,304 --> 01:11:26,470 The pants! He's got the unit! 1237 01:11:26,514 --> 01:11:28,756 Drop the pants. Now! 1238 01:11:28,808 --> 01:11:31,974 Wait a minute. I ain't the one... 1239 01:11:32,019 --> 01:11:34,058 who... 1240 01:11:36,314 --> 01:11:37,891 (GASPS) 1241 01:11:41,610 --> 01:11:42,640 Ooh! Ooh! Ooh! 1242 01:11:44,195 --> 01:11:45,653 (SLOW-MOTION CHUCKLE) 1243 01:11:48,156 --> 01:11:50,481 (SLOW MOTION) Uh huh. Uh huh huh. 1244 01:11:53,494 --> 01:11:54,572 Whoa. Oh. 1245 01:11:55,703 --> 01:11:56,734 (GASPS) 1246 01:11:56,829 --> 01:12:01,786 Uh... here you go. Uh huh huh huh. 1247 01:12:01,833 --> 01:12:03,243 (CHEERING) 1248 01:12:05,503 --> 01:12:07,411 Wait just a minute, mister. 1249 01:12:07,462 --> 01:12:09,419 Sir, take a look at this. 1250 01:12:09,464 --> 01:12:11,788 How do you explain this? 1251 01:12:11,840 --> 01:12:13,714 What are you talking about? 1252 01:12:13,759 --> 01:12:18,798 So, using two innocent teenagers as pawns in your sick game, huh? 1253 01:12:18,845 --> 01:12:22,179 I already told you I don't know what this is about. 1254 01:12:22,224 --> 01:12:26,267 - Take him away. - Hey! Get your damn hands off me! 1255 01:12:26,310 --> 01:12:28,017 God damn it! Hey! 1256 01:12:28,061 --> 01:12:29,970 Aah! Ow! 1257 01:12:30,021 --> 01:12:31,265 Damn it! 1258 01:12:32,731 --> 01:12:34,853 You don't know who you're dealing with! 1259 01:12:34,899 --> 01:12:37,437 I'm a veteran of two foreign wars! 1260 01:12:38,486 --> 01:12:40,193 I ain't the one that... 1261 01:12:41,697 --> 01:12:44,365 I always thought there was something wrong with him. 1262 01:12:44,407 --> 01:12:46,446 Yeah. Uh huh huh huh. 1263 01:12:46,492 --> 01:12:49,825 - He had a lot of problems. - Yeah, yeah. 1264 01:12:49,869 --> 01:12:53,202 And he used to hit me. Yeah. Uh heh heh. 1265 01:12:53,247 --> 01:12:54,326 Uh, hey... 1266 01:12:54,373 --> 01:12:56,329 does anyone wanna see MY unit? 1267 01:12:59,793 --> 01:13:02,035 I admit it. I figured you wrong. 1268 01:13:02,087 --> 01:13:03,794 I thought you were scum, 1269 01:13:03,838 --> 01:13:06,754 but you saved more lives than you'll ever know. 1270 01:13:06,798 --> 01:13:10,416 You led us to one of the sickest criminals in history. 1271 01:13:10,468 --> 01:13:12,507 This country owes you a debt. 1272 01:13:12,553 --> 01:13:16,419 Uh, does that mean we're gonna get, like, money and stuff? 1273 01:13:16,472 --> 01:13:20,339 And, um, and chicks. We were supposed to score. 1274 01:13:20,392 --> 01:13:21,886 For security reasons, 1275 01:13:21,935 --> 01:13:24,556 your actions will have to remain top secret. 1276 01:13:24,604 --> 01:13:27,722 But someone very special wants to give his thanks. 1277 01:13:30,358 --> 01:13:32,266 Beavis and Butt-head, 1278 01:13:32,318 --> 01:13:34,986 on behalf of your fellow Americans, 1279 01:13:35,028 --> 01:13:37,186 I extend my deepest thanks. 1280 01:13:37,238 --> 01:13:41,365 You exemplify a fine new crop of young Americans, 1281 01:13:41,408 --> 01:13:45,405 who will grow into the leaders of this great country. 1282 01:13:45,453 --> 01:13:48,369 Uh huh huh huh. He said "extend". 1283 01:13:48,413 --> 01:13:49,788 Oh, yeah. 1284 01:13:49,831 --> 01:13:52,403 In recognition for your great service, 1285 01:13:52,458 --> 01:13:54,995 I'm appointing you honorary agents 1286 01:13:55,043 --> 01:13:57,794 in the Bureau of Alcohol, Tobacco & Firearms. 1287 01:13:57,837 --> 01:13:58,915 Whoa! 1288 01:13:59,963 --> 01:14:01,292 Alcohol and tobacco? 1289 01:14:01,340 --> 01:14:02,419 Yeah. 1290 01:14:02,466 --> 01:14:05,715 - And firearms! Yeah. - Cool, huh? 1291 01:14:05,760 --> 01:14:08,250 Cigarettes and beer kick ass. 1292 01:14:08,303 --> 01:14:09,418 Yeah! Yeah! 1293 01:14:09,471 --> 01:14:13,550 We're in the Bureau of beer and fire and cigarettes. 1294 01:14:13,599 --> 01:14:15,306 And maybe some chicks, too. 1295 01:14:15,350 --> 01:14:17,010 This is gonna be cool. 1296 01:14:17,060 --> 01:14:20,392 - Uh huh huh huh. - Heh heh heh heh. 1297 01:14:27,984 --> 01:14:31,399 You know what sucks? We never scored, or got any money. 1298 01:14:31,445 --> 01:14:33,070 Yeah. Really. 1299 01:14:33,113 --> 01:14:34,228 Um... 1300 01:14:34,281 --> 01:14:36,237 And my butt's still sore, 1301 01:14:36,282 --> 01:14:37,527 and that chick with the braces... 1302 01:14:37,575 --> 01:14:39,863 Butt-head. Butt-head, look! 1303 01:14:39,910 --> 01:14:42,033 - Yes! - Yes! 1304 01:14:43,079 --> 01:14:44,988 Yes! Yes! 1305 01:14:45,039 --> 01:14:48,656 - Ohh. Ohh, yes. - Uh huh huh. 1306 01:14:48,708 --> 01:14:50,119 Oh, yeah. 1307 01:14:52,253 --> 01:14:53,747 (BIRDS CHIRPING) 1308 01:14:53,796 --> 01:14:57,246 Hey, Butt-head. Do you think we're ever gonna score? 1309 01:14:57,298 --> 01:14:59,373 Uh, I probably will. 1310 01:14:59,424 --> 01:15:01,750 But not you. Uh huh huh huh. 1311 01:15:01,802 --> 01:15:04,089 You're too much of a butt-monkey. 1312 01:15:04,136 --> 01:15:08,797 - Shut up, dill-hole. Mm heh heh. - Butt-dumpling. Uh huh huh. 1313 01:15:08,848 --> 01:15:13,260 - Turd burglar. Mm heh heh. - Uh, ass goblin. Uh huh huh. 1314 01:15:13,310 --> 01:15:15,266 Shut up, Butt-head. 1315 01:15:15,311 --> 01:15:19,771 Um, hey, doesn't Tom Anderson live on this street? 1316 01:15:19,815 --> 01:15:21,772 - Uh, yeah. - 'Cause, um... 1317 01:15:21,817 --> 01:15:25,766 I just need to stop by his tool shed for a minute. 1318 01:15:25,820 --> 01:15:28,440 Heh heh heh. You know what I'm saying? 1319 01:15:28,488 --> 01:15:30,777 Tool. Uh huh huh huh. 1320 01:15:30,824 --> 01:15:33,989 Boi-yoi-yoi-yoi-yoi-ing! 1321 01:16:13,188 --> 01:16:15,310 # ENGELBERT HUMPERDINCK: Lesbian Seagull 1322 01:16:15,356 --> 01:16:17,764 # Come with me (Come with me) 1323 01:16:17,817 --> 01:16:22,277 # Lesbian seagull (Seagull) 1324 01:16:22,321 --> 01:16:24,858 # Settle down and rest 1325 01:16:24,906 --> 01:16:28,570 # With me 1326 01:16:28,617 --> 01:16:31,024 # Oh, fly (Fly) 1327 01:16:31,076 --> 01:16:32,156 # With me 1328 01:16:32,202 --> 01:16:36,116 # Lesbian seagull (Seagull) 1329 01:16:36,164 --> 01:16:38,536 # To my little nest 1330 01:16:38,583 --> 01:16:42,496 # By the sea (By the sea) 1331 01:16:42,544 --> 01:16:44,335 # With me 1332 01:16:44,378 --> 01:16:46,086 # That's where you belong 1333 01:16:46,130 --> 01:16:47,410 # With me 1334 01:16:47,464 --> 01:16:49,752 # I know I can be strong 1335 01:16:49,799 --> 01:16:51,506 # When you're... 1336 01:16:51,550 --> 01:16:57,054 # You're with me # 1337 01:16:59,306 --> 01:17:02,556 # LL COOL J: Ain't Nobody 1338 01:17:02,601 --> 01:17:03,679 # Oh 1339 01:17:03,726 --> 01:17:05,434 # I got visions, baby 1340 01:17:06,312 --> 01:17:07,474 # All right 1341 01:17:07,520 --> 01:17:09,098 # No directions 1342 01:17:10,523 --> 01:17:11,981 # Oh, my God 1343 01:17:15,652 --> 01:17:16,683 # You know 1344 01:17:20,989 --> 01:17:23,444 # I'm the best when it comes to making love all night 1345 01:17:23,491 --> 01:17:25,733 # Throw your butterscotch body beneath the red light 1346 01:17:25,785 --> 01:17:27,113 # Blaze it up, girl 1347 01:17:27,160 --> 01:17:28,820 # I'm gonna lace it real tight 1348 01:17:28,870 --> 01:17:30,578 # Go deep till the full moon turn to sunlight 1349 01:17:30,622 --> 01:17:32,993 # Till the darkness is gone, love remains strong 1350 01:17:33,040 --> 01:17:34,997 # Like the bond 'tween mother and child 1351 01:17:35,042 --> 01:17:36,416 # You're so warm to the touch 1352 01:17:36,459 --> 01:17:38,333 # Passionate interludes and such 1353 01:17:38,378 --> 01:17:40,453 # When you're gone, your body's what I yearn to clutch 1354 01:17:40,504 --> 01:17:42,413 # Just imagine ecstasy floating in a cloud 1355 01:17:42,464 --> 01:17:45,001 # Animal attraction burning through the crowd 1356 01:17:45,049 --> 01:17:46,627 # Heaven on earth, paradise for a price 1357 01:17:46,676 --> 01:17:48,169 # It's cool, though 1358 01:17:48,218 --> 01:17:49,842 # I'll pay you for the rest of my life 1359 01:17:49,886 --> 01:17:51,001 # Ya know why? 1360 01:17:51,054 --> 01:17:52,168 # Ain't nobody 1361 01:17:53,013 --> 01:17:54,472 # Does me better 1362 01:17:55,306 --> 01:17:57,050 # Makes me happy 1363 01:17:57,850 --> 01:18:00,175 # Makes me feel this way 1364 01:18:00,227 --> 01:18:01,935 # Ain't nobody 1365 01:18:02,604 --> 01:18:04,145 # Does me better 1366 01:18:04,188 --> 01:18:05,303 # You can take it, girl 1367 01:18:05,356 --> 01:18:06,471 # Stop running on 1368 01:18:06,524 --> 01:18:07,602 # You can take it, girl 1369 01:18:07,649 --> 01:18:08,764 # Stop running on 1370 01:18:08,817 --> 01:18:10,192 # You can take it, girl 1371 01:18:10,235 --> 01:18:11,349 # Stop running on 1372 01:18:11,402 --> 01:18:12,600 # You can take it, girl 1373 01:18:12,653 --> 01:18:14,361 # Stop running on 1374 01:18:14,405 --> 01:18:16,396 # I'm exploring your body and your erogenous zones 1375 01:18:16,447 --> 01:18:17,858 # Like a black tiger caged up 1376 01:18:17,907 --> 01:18:19,484 # Till you come home 1377 01:18:19,533 --> 01:18:21,193 # Lovely, you make a man swoon like a boy 1378 01:18:21,243 --> 01:18:23,318 # The love is so soft it gets hard to enjoy 1379 01:18:23,369 --> 01:18:25,990 # 'Cause the mind flies and sometimes the sex lies 1380 01:18:26,038 --> 01:18:28,363 # Smooth little girls fall in love with rough guys 1381 01:18:28,415 --> 01:18:30,953 # But you could chop a big heart down to pint size 1382 01:18:31,001 --> 01:18:33,372 # I guess that's what it sounds like when the dove cries 1383 01:18:33,419 --> 01:18:35,327 # The whole world is trapped up in a maze 1384 01:18:35,378 --> 01:18:37,916 # But you saved this real good lovin' for rainy days 1385 01:18:37,964 --> 01:18:39,920 # The Lord works in mysterious ways 1386 01:18:39,965 --> 01:18:42,207 # He must've put you on this Earth for all men to praise 1387 01:18:43,426 --> 01:18:45,881 # Ain't nobody (Nobody) 1388 01:18:45,928 --> 01:18:47,304 # Does me better 1389 01:18:48,096 --> 01:18:49,721 # Makes me happy 1390 01:18:50,390 --> 01:18:52,382 # Makes me feel this way 1391 01:18:52,433 --> 01:18:54,924 # Ain't nobody 1392 01:18:55,019 --> 01:18:56,891 # Does me better 1393 01:18:56,936 --> 01:18:58,134 # You can take it, girl 1394 01:18:58,187 --> 01:18:59,302 # Stop running on 1395 01:18:59,354 --> 01:19:00,517 # You can take it, girl 1396 01:19:00,564 --> 01:19:01,679 # Stop running on 1397 01:19:01,732 --> 01:19:03,060 # You can take it, girl 1398 01:19:03,108 --> 01:19:04,138 # Stop running on 1399 01:19:04,192 --> 01:19:05,271 # You can take it, girl 1400 01:19:05,318 --> 01:19:06,646 # Stop running on 1401 01:19:06,694 --> 01:19:07,772 # As I travel through your body 1402 01:19:07,819 --> 01:19:09,479 # Our souls become one 1403 01:19:09,529 --> 01:19:11,273 # Indivisible, oh, it's getting critical, son 1404 01:19:11,323 --> 01:19:13,729 # I'm on the run from love, it chase me out the bed 1405 01:19:13,782 --> 01:19:16,107 # Get the point, fool? You hit it right on the head 1406 01:19:16,159 --> 01:19:17,238 # Its an endless adventure 1407 01:19:17,285 --> 01:19:19,028 # Two bodies collide 1408 01:19:19,078 --> 01:19:21,236 # King fulfilling dreams with a queen by his side 1409 01:19:21,288 --> 01:19:23,493 # Forever, forever in time we intertwine 1410 01:19:23,539 --> 01:19:25,864 # Destiny, we fall in love by design 1411 01:19:25,917 --> 01:19:28,288 # What's yours is mine, and what's mine is yours 1412 01:19:28,335 --> 01:19:30,043 # The road less traveled is ours to explore 1413 01:19:30,086 --> 01:19:31,414 # I adore you 1414 01:19:31,462 --> 01:19:32,742 # Heavenly angel shining light 1415 01:19:32,796 --> 01:19:34,291 # Hold my hand 1416 01:19:34,340 --> 01:19:36,130 # I'll be your guide through the night 1417 01:19:36,174 --> 01:19:37,253 # Ain't nobody 1418 01:19:38,343 --> 01:19:40,833 # Does me better 1419 01:19:40,886 --> 01:19:41,965 # Makes me happy 1420 01:19:43,263 --> 01:19:45,219 # Makes me feel this way 1421 01:19:46,057 --> 01:19:47,302 # Ain't nobody 1422 01:19:48,391 --> 01:19:49,506 # Does me better 1423 01:19:49,559 --> 01:19:50,638 # You can take it, girl 1424 01:19:50,685 --> 01:19:51,799 # Stop running on 1425 01:19:51,852 --> 01:19:53,050 # You can take it, girl 1426 01:19:53,103 --> 01:19:54,218 # Stop running on 1427 01:19:54,271 --> 01:19:55,434 # You can take it, girl 1428 01:19:55,480 --> 01:19:56,594 # Stop running on 1429 01:19:56,648 --> 01:19:57,762 # You can take it, girl 1430 01:19:57,815 --> 01:19:58,930 # Stop running on 1431 01:19:58,983 --> 01:20:00,097 # You can take it, girl 1432 01:20:00,150 --> 01:20:01,265 # Stop running on 1433 01:20:01,318 --> 01:20:02,729 # You can take it, girl 1434 01:20:02,778 --> 01:20:03,891 # Stop running on 1435 01:20:03,945 --> 01:20:05,107 # You can take it, girl 1436 01:20:05,154 --> 01:20:06,269 # Stop running on 1437 01:20:06,322 --> 01:20:07,815 # You can take it, girl 1438 01:20:07,864 --> 01:20:09,062 # Stop running on 1439 01:20:09,115 --> 01:20:10,444 # Come on now 1440 01:20:10,492 --> 01:20:12,199 # A man don't choose a woman, 1441 01:20:12,243 --> 01:20:13,737 # A woman chooses a man 1442 01:20:13,786 --> 01:20:15,066 # (CHUCKLES) 1443 01:20:15,120 --> 01:20:16,578 # Give you half for a second 1444 01:20:16,621 --> 01:20:18,495 # Then I'll give you the full plunge 1445 01:20:19,957 --> 01:20:21,451 # What you want? What you want? 1446 01:20:21,500 --> 01:20:24,168 # Iced champagne brings up the scenery